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diff --git a/38291-h/38291-h.htm b/38291-h/38291-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..61ce987 --- /dev/null +++ b/38291-h/38291-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,7604 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.1//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml11/DTD/xhtml11.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + +<head> + + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Witch Of The Hills Vol. 1 of 2, by Florence Warden. + </title> + + <style type="text/css"> + + blockquote { + text-align:justify; + } + + body { + margin-left:10%; + margin-right:10%; + } + + .booktitle { + letter-spacing:3px; + } + + .border2 { + border-width:2px; + border-style:solid; + border-color:black; + } + + .center { + text-align:center; + font-weight:bold; + } + + div.center { + text-align:center; + } + + .figcenter { + padding:1em; + text-align:center; + font-size:0.8em; + border:none; + margin:auto; + text-indent:1em; + } + + .h1 { + font-size:2em; + margin:.67em 0; + } + + .h1, .h2, .h3, .h4, .h5 { + font-weight:bolder; + text-align:center; + text-indent:0; + } + + h1, h2, h3, h4, h5 { + text-align:center; + } + + .h2 { + font-size:1.5em; + margin:.75em 0; + } + + .h3 { + font-size:1.17em; + margin:.83em 0; + } + + .h4 { + margin:1.12em 0 ; + } + + .h5 { + font-size:.83em; + margin:1.5em 0 ; + } + + h5 { + margin-bottom:1%; + margin-top:1%; + } + + hr.chap { + margin-top:6em; + margin-bottom:4em; + clear:both; + } + + p { + text-align:justify; + margin-top:.75em; + margin-bottom:.75em; + text-indent:0; + } + + p.author { + text-align:right; + margin-right:5%; + } + + p.caption { + text-indent:0; + text-align:center; + font-weight:bold; + margin-bottom:2em; + } + + p.spacer { + margin-top:2em; + margin-bottom:3em; + } + + .pagenum { +/* visibility:hidden; remove comment out to hide page numbers */ + position:absolute; + right:2%; + font-size:75%; + color:gray; + background-color:inherit; + text-align:right; + text-indent:0; + font-style:normal; + font-weight:normal; + font-variant:normal; + } + + .smcap { + font-variant:small-caps; + } + + </style> + +</head> + +<body> + + +<pre> + +Project Gutenberg's A Witch of the Hills, v. 1-2, by Florence Warden + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Witch of the Hills, v. 1-2 + +Author: Florence Warden + +Release Date: December 13, 2011 [EBook #38291] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WITCH OF THE HILLS, V. 1-2 *** + + + + +Produced by Matthew Wheaton, Beginners Projects, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net +(This file was produced from images generously made +available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="400" height="627" alt="" /> +</div> + +<p class="caption">A Witch of the Hills<br />Florence Warden</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img class="border2" src="images/tp.jpg" width="400" height="639" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h1 class="booktitle">A WITCH OF THE HILLS</h1> + +<p class="h4">BY</p> + +<p class="h3">FLORENCE WARDEN</p> + +<p class="h5">AUTHOR OF 'THE HOUSE ON THE MARSH,' ETC.</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<p class="h4">IN TWO VOLUMES<br /> +VOL. I</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<p class="h4">LONDON<br /> +RICHARD BENTLEY & SON, NEW BURLINGTON STREET<br /> +Publishers in Ordinary to Her Majesty the Queen<br /> +1888</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<p class="h3">CONTENTS</p> + +<div class="center"> +<a href="#CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER IX</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER X</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER XI</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XII">CHAPTER XII</a><br /> +<a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER XIII</a> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[1]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch01.jpg" width="400" height="111" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2>A WITCH OF THE HILLS</h2> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I</h2> + +<p>Poor little witch! I think she left all her +spells and love-philters behind her, when she +let herself be carried off from Ballater to +Bayswater, a spot where no sorcery more +poetical or more interesting than modern +Spiritualism finds a congenial home. What +was her star about not to teach her that +human hearts can beat as passionately up +among the quiet hills and the dark fir-forests +as down amid the rattle and the roar of the +town? Well, well; it is only in the grave<span class="pagenum">[2]</span> +that we make no mistakes; and life and +love, God knows, are mysteries beyond the +ken of a chuckle-headed country gentleman, +with just sense enough to handle a gun and +land a salmon.</p> + +<p>And the sum and substance of all this is +that the Deeside hills are very bleak in +December, that the north wind sighs and +sobs, whistles and howls among the ragged +firs and the bending larches in a manner +fearsome and eerie to a lonely man at his +silent fireside, and that books are but sorry +substitutes for human companions when the +deer are safe in their winter retreat in the +forests, and the grouse-moors are white with +snow. So here's for another pine-log on the +fire, and a glance back at the fourteen years +which have slipped away since I shut the +gates of the world behind me.</p> + +<p>The world! The old leaven is still there +then, that after fourteen years of voluntary<span class="pagenum">[3]</span>—almost +voluntary—exile, I still call that +narrow circle of a few hundreds of not particularly +wise, not particularly interesting +people—the world! They were wise enough +and interesting enough for me at three and +twenty, though, when by the death of my +elder brother I leapt at once from an irksome +struggle, with expensive tastes, on a stingy +allowance of three hundred a year, to the full +enjoyment of an income of eight thousand.</p> + +<p>How fully I appreciated the delights of +that sudden change from 'ineligible' to +'eligible!' How quickly I began to feel +that, in accepting an invitation, instead of +receiving a favour I now conferred one! My +new knowledge speedily transformed a harmless +and rather obliging young man into an +insufferable puppy; but the puppy was +welcomed where the obliging young man +had hardly been tolerated. Beautifully +gradual the change was, both in me and<span class="pagenum">[4]</span> +in my friends; for we were all well bred, +and knew how to charge the old formulas +with new meaning. 'You will be sure to +come, won't you?' from a hostess to me, +was no longer a crumb of kindness, it was +an entreaty. 'You are very kind,' from me, +expressed now not gratitude, but condescension. +A rather nice girl, who had been +scolded for dancing with me too often, was +now, like the little children sent out in the +streets to beg, praised or blamed by her +mother according to the degree of attention +I had paid her. I did not share the contempt +of the other men of my own age for +this manœuvring mamma and the rest of her +kind, though I daresay I spoke of them in +the same tone as they did. In the first +place, I was flattered by their homage to +my new position, interested as it was; and +in the second, in their presence we were all +so much alike, in dress, manner, and what<span class="pagenum">[5]</span> +by courtesy is called conversation, that the +poor ladies might well be excused for judging +our merits by the only tangible point of +difference—our relative wealth.</p> + +<p>In our tastes, our vices, real or assumed, +there was equally little to choose between us. +We knew little about art and less about +literature. In politics we were dogged and +illogical partisans of politicians, and cared +nothing for principles. Religion we left to +women, who shared with horses the chief +place in our thoughts. Nature having fortunately +denied to the latter animals the power +of speech, there was no danger of the two +classes of our favourites coming into active +rivalry.</p> + +<p>In the intoxication of early manhood, +while the mind was still in the background +to the senses, the surface of things provided +entertainment enough for us. Characters +and even characteristics were merged in a<span class="pagenum">[6]</span> +uniformity of folly without malice, and vice +without depravity. If we gambled, we lost +money which did no good while in our +hands; if we gave light love, it was to ladies +who asked for no more; if we drank, we only +clouded intellects which were never employed +in thought.</p> + +<p>Looking back on that time from the +serene eminence of nine and thirty, I can +see that I was a fool, but also that I got my +money's worth for my folly, which is more +than I can say for all my later aberrations +of intellect. And if, on the brink of forty, +I find I can give a less logical account of +my actions and feelings than I could at the +opening of life, it is appalling to think what +a consummate ass I may be if I live another +twenty years! I begin to wish I had set +myself some less humiliating task, to fill my +lonely hours by a mountain winter fireside, +than this of tracing the process by which the<span class="pagenum">[7]</span> +idiot of five and twenty became the lunatic of +five and thirty. Well, it's too late to go +back, now that I have called up the old +ghosts and felt again the terrible fascination +of the touch of the now gaunt fingers. So +here's for a dash at my work with the best +grace I can.</p> + +<p>I had been enjoying my accession to +fortune for about eighteen months, during +which I had devoted what mind and soul I +possessed wholly to the work of catering for +the gratification of my senses, when I fell for +the first time seriously in love, as the natural +sequence of having exhausted the novelty of +coarser excitements.</p> + +<p>Lady Helen Normanton was the third +daughter of the Marquis of Castleford, a +beauty in her first season, who had made a +sensation on her presentation, and had attracted +the avowed admiration of no less a +person than the Earl of Saxmundham, such<span class="pagenum">[8]</span> +a great catch, with his rumoured revenues of +eighty or ninety thousand a year, that for a +comparative pauper with a small and already +encumbered estate like mine to dare to +appear in the lists against him seemed the +height of conceit or the depth of idiotcy. +But Lady Helen's eyes were bright enough, +and her smile sweet enough, to turn any +man's head. They caused me to form the +first set purpose of my life, and I dashed into +my wooing with a head-long earnestness that +soon made my passion the talk of my friends. +I had one advantage on my side upon which +I must confess that I largely relied; I was +good-looking enough to have earned the +sobriquet of 'Handsome Harry,' and I was +quite as much alive to my personal attractions, +quite as anxious to show them to the +best advantage, as any female professional +beauty. It was agony to think that, having +already exhausted my imagination in the<span class="pagenum">[9]</span> +invention of devices by which, in the restricted +area of man's costume, I should +always appear a little better dressed than +any one else, I could do nothing more for my +love than I had done for my vanity. As a +last resource I curled my hair.</p> + +<p>The boldness of my devotion soon began +to tell. The Earl of Saxmundham was fifty-two, +had a snub nose, and was already bald. +Lady Helen was very young, sweet and +simple, and perhaps scarcely realised yet +what much handsomer horses and gowns and +diamonds are to be got with eighty thousand +a year than with eight. So she smiled at +me and danced with me, and said nothing at +all in the sweetest way when I poured out +my passion in supper-rooms and conservatories, +and giggled with the most adorable +childlikeness when I kissed her little hand, +still young enough to be rather red, and told +her that she had inspired me with the wish<span class="pagenum">[10]</span> +to be great for her sake. And the end of it +was that the Earl began to retreat, and that +I was snubbed, and that these snubs, being +to me an earnest of victory, I became ten +times more openly, outrageously daring than +before, and my suit being vigorously upheld +by one of her brothers, who had become an +oracle in the family on the simple basis of +being difficult to please, I was at last most +reluctantly accepted as Lady Helen's betrothed +lover.</p> + +<p>My success gave me the sort of prestige +of curiosity which passionate earnestness, in +this age when we associate passion with +seedy Bohemians and earnestness with Methodist +preachers, can easily excite among a +generation of men who, having no stimulating +iron bars or stone walls between them +and their lady-loves, can reserve the best of +their energies for other and more exciting +pursuits. I was the respectable Paris to a<span class="pagenum">[11]</span> +proper and perfectly well-conducted Helen, +the Romeo to a new Juliet. My wooing and +engagement became a society topic, the subject +of many interesting fictions. Spreading +to circles a little more remote, in the absence +of any Downing Street blunder or Clapham +tragedy, the story became more romantic +still. I myself overheard on the Underground +Railway the exciting narration of +how I forced my way at night into the +Marquis's bedroom, after having concealed +myself for some hours behind a Japanese +screen in the library; how, revolver in hand, +I had forced the unwilling parent to accede +to my demand for his daughter's hand, and +much more of the same kind, listened to with +incredulity, but still with interest.</p> + +<p>It was hard that, after the <i>éclat</i> of such a +beginning, our engagement should have continued +on commonplace lines, but so it did. +My love for this fair girl, being the first deep<span class="pagenum">[12]</span> +emotion of a life which had begun to pall +upon me by its frivolity, had struck far down +and moved to life within me the best feelings +of a man's nature. I began to be ashamed +of myself, to feel that I was a futile coxcomb, +only saved from being ridiculous by being +one of a crowd of others like me. I gave up +betting, that I might have more money to +spend on presents for her; less legitimate +pleasures I renounced as a matter of course, +with shame that the arms which were to +protect my darling should have been so profaned; +vanity having made me a 'masher,' +love made me a man. Unluckily, Helen +was too young and too innocent to appreciate +the difference; her eyes still glowed at the +sight of French bonbons, she liked compliments +better than conversation, and burst +into tears when one evening, as she was +dressed for a ball, I broke, in kissing her, +the heads of some lilies of the valley she was<span class="pagenum">[13]</span> +wearing. The little petulant push she gave +me opened my eyes to the fact that no sooner +had I discovered myself to be a fool in one +way than I had straightway fallen into as +great an error in another direction. It +dawned upon me for the first time, as I sat +opposite to Helen and her mother in the +barouche on our way to the ball, what a +horrible likeness there was, seen in this halflight +of the carriage lamps, between Helen +with her sweet blue eyes and features so +delicately lovely that they made one think +of Queen Titania, with an uncomfortable +thought of one's self as the ass, and the placid +Marchioness, whose features at other times +one never noticed, so utterly insignificant a +nonentity was she by reason of the vacuous +stolidity which was carried by her to the +point of absolute distinction. Would Helen +be like that at forty? Worse still, was +Helen like that now? It was a horrible<span class="pagenum">[14]</span> +thought, which subsequent experience unhappily +did not tend to dispel. My first +serious love had worked too great a revolution +in me, had made me conscious of needs +unfelt before, so that I now found that mere +innocence in the woman who was to be the +goddess of my life was not enough; I must +have capacity for thought, for passion.</p> + +<p>All this I had taken for granted at first, +while the struggle to win her occupied all my +energies; but when from the mad aspirant I +became the proud betrothed, I had leisure to +find out that the beautiful, dreamy, far-away +eyes of my <i>fiancée</i> in no way denoted a +poetic temperament, that her romance consisted +merely in the preference for a handsome +face to an ugly one, and in the inability +to understand that she, an Earl's daughter +and a spoilt child, could by any possibility +fail to obtain anything to which she had +taken a fancy. I was surprised at the<span class="pagenum">[15]</span> +rapidity with which I, a man seriously and +deeply in love, came to these conclusions +about the girl who had inspired my passion. +I could even, looking into the future, foretell +the kind of life we should lead together as +man and wife, when she, fallen from the ideal +position of inspiring goddess to that of a +tame pet rabbit, bored to death by my +solemnity when I was serious, and frightened +by my impetuosity when I was gay, would +discover, with quick woman's instinct, that +the best of myself was no longer given to +her, and cavilling at the neglect of a husband +whose society oppressed her, would find compensation +for her wrongs among more frivolous +companions. So that, weary of frivolity +myself, my wife would avenge my defection.</p> + +<p>I suppose almost every man, in the sober +hours which alternate with the paroxysms of +the wildest passions, can form a tolerably +correct forecast of his life with the woman<span class="pagenum">[16]</span> +who likes to believe that she has cast him +into an infatuation whose force is blinding. +The picture is always with him, showing now +in bright colours, now in dark; varying a +little in its outlines from time to time, but +remaining substantially the same, and more +or less accurate according to the measure of +his intellect and experience; not at all the +picture of even an earthly paradise, but yet +with charms which satisfy human longings, +and make it hard to part with. So I, having +made up my mind that beauty, gentleness +and modesty, good birth and fairly good +temper were the only attributes of my future +wife on which I could rely, philosophically +decided that they formed as good an equipment +as I had any right to expect, doubled +my offerings of flowers and bonbons, and +transferred the disquisitions on art, literature, +religion and politics, in which I had begun to +indulge, to her brother.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[17]</span></p> + +<p>Lord Edgar Normanton was a tall, fair, +broad-shouldered young man, who, while +joining in all the frivolous amusements of his +age and station, did so in a grave, leisurely, +and reflective manner, which caused him to +be looked up to as one capable of higher +things, whose presence at a cricket match +was a condescension, and who appeared at +balls with some occult purpose connected +with the study of human nature. I had +always looked upon his special friendship for +me as an honour, of which I felt that my +new departure, in deciding that I had sown +wild oats enough, made me more worthy. +It never occurred to me to ask myself or +anybody else whether his wild oats were +sown. It was enough for me that he was +glad when mine were. With the loyalty of +most young men to their ideals of their own +sex, I would far rather have discovered a +new and unsuspected flaw in Helen's character<span class="pagenum">[18]</span> +than have learnt anything to shake my +respect for her brother. Women, when not +considered as angels, can only be looked +upon as fascinating but inferior creatures, +whose faults must be overlooked as irremediable, +in consideration of their contributions +to the comfort or the pleasure of man. +One may argue about them, but, except as a +relaxation, one cannot argue with them.</p> + +<p>Edgar was openly delighted at my engagement +with his sister, which he considered +merely in the light of a tie to bring +us two men closer together. Such a little +nonentity as I found he considered his sister +to be might think herself lucky to be +honoured by such a use.</p> + +<p>This was the position of affairs when a +memorable shooting party in Norfolk, of which +both Edgar and I formed members, resulted +in an accident which was to bring my love affair +to an end as sensational as its beginning.</p> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[19]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch02.jpg" width="400" height="119" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II</h2> + +<p>We were engaged upon that hospitable +abomination at a shooting party—a champagne +luncheon. Having made a very fair +bag for my morning's work, and being tired +with my exertions, I was inclined to think that +the serious business of the day was over for +me, and that I might take it easy as regarded +further effort. Edgar, who, since his discovery +that my fervour on the subject of his +sister had grown less ardent, was inclined to +assume more of the character of mentor +towards me than I cared about, had seated +himself on the ground beside me; but I had +found an opportunity of changing seats, for<span class="pagenum">[20]</span> +I felt less well-disposed towards him that +morning than I had ever been before.</p> + +<p>The fact was that the gentle Helen had +snubbed me two evenings previously for a +demonstration of affection which I had carefully +prepared, lest she, too, should have +noticed the waning in my love. Upon this +I had retreated, with a very odd mixture of +feelings towards my <i>fiancée</i>, and there had +been a reserve between us for the whole of +the evening, which Edgar somewhat unwisely +interfered to break. Looking upon myself +as the injured person, I had resented the +homily he felt himself called upon to administer, +and though I made my peace with +Helen next day, I avoided her brother. +He made two or three good-natured overtures +to me in the manner of an experienced +nurse to a froward child, but on the morning +of the shooting party I was still as far as +ever from being reconciled to the paternal<span class="pagenum">[21]</span> +intervention of Edgar the Wise and the +Good.</p> + +<p>'The Ladies!' cried one of the party, +leaning lazily back on his arm and raising his +glass.</p> + +<p>'Say "Woman,"' I amended; 'it's more +comprehensive.'</p> + +<p>'Well, but "The Ladies!" ought to be +comprehensive enough for you just now, +Maude,' said some one, glancing mischievously +at Edgar, whose solemnity was increasing, +and scenting something warmer +than controversy.</p> + +<p>'Not now, nor ever!' said I, with more +daring than good taste. 'In "Woman" we +can secretly worship an ideal better than +ourselves. In "The Ladies" we must bow +down to creatures lower than ourselves, +whose beauty deceives us, whose frivolity +degrades us, and whom nothing more sacred +than our care and their own coldness protects<span class="pagenum">[22]</span> +from the fate of fellow-women whom +before them we do not dare to name.'</p> + +<p>Everybody looked up in astonishment, +and Edgar's red healthy face became purple +with anger.</p> + +<p>'A man who holds such opinions concerning +ladies is probably better qualified to +judge that other class which he has the +singular taste to mention in the same +sentence with them.'</p> + +<p>'Perhaps. It is easier to find mercy for +victims than for tyrants.'</p> + +<p>Edgar rose to his feet with the ponderous +dignity of an offended giant.</p> + +<p>'If I had known your opinions on this +subject a little earlier, Mr. Maude, I should +never have allowed you to form an alliance +with my family.'</p> + +<p>I rose too, as hot as he; and secretly +alarmed and repentant at the lengths to +which my recklessness had carried me, I was<span class="pagenum">[23]</span> +not ready to submit to the didactic rough-riding +of the man who had long ago himself +instilled into me his own supreme contempt +for the weaker sex.</p> + +<p>'Perhaps I, Lord Edgar, should have +thought the honour too dearly bought if I +had known that it involved my acceptance of +a self-appointed keeper of my conscience.'</p> + +<p>Our host, Sir Wilfrid Speke, now interfered +to calm the passions which were rapidly +getting the better of us, and thrusting my +gun under my arm, he literally carried me +off, and marching me to a covert on the +slope of a hill where was a noted 'warm +corner,' he told me good-humouredly to 'let +the birds have it,' and left me to myself and +them.</p> + +<p>I was in a very bad temper. Enraged by +the recollection of Helen's simpering coldness, +by her brother's recently-assumed +dictatorship, and by my own reckless want of<span class="pagenum">[24]</span> +self-control a few minutes before, I was not +in the mood for sport. Was this to be the +result of my determination to take life more +seriously, that I discovered my <i>fiancée</i> to be +a fool, my most honoured friend a bore, and +myself capable of undreamt-of depths of bad +taste and ill-temper? I would go back to +my old life of languid chatter and irresponsible +dissipation, I would content myself +again with my fame as the 'handsomest man +in town,' would accept my future wife for +what she was, and not for what she ought to +be, give her the inane, half-hearted attentions +which were so much more to her taste than +earnestness and devotion, and see thought +and Lord Edgar at the devil.</p> + +<p>I felt much more inclined to shoot myself +than to open fire on the pheasants, but head-long +carelessness, and not tragic intention, +caused the accident which ensued. In getting +through a gap in a hedge, my gun was<span class="pagenum">[25]</span> +caught by a briar as I mounted to the higher +ground on the other side; I tried to free it, +and handling it incautiously, a sudden shock +to my face and right shoulder told me that I +had shot myself. I was blinded for the +moment, and trying to raise my right arm I +felt acute pain, and the next instant I felt the +warm blood trickling down my neck.</p> + +<p>I tried to walk, but I staggered about and +could make no progress, so I leaned against +a tree and shouted; but my head growing +dizzy, I soon found myself on the ground, +filled with one wish—that I might live long +enough for some one to find me, and receive +the last instructions by which I could atone +to pretty Helen for the vulgar earnestness of +my love.</p> + +<p>My next recollection is of a dull murmur +of voices heard, as it seemed, in the distance, +then of pain grown suddenly more acute +as I was moved; all the time I could see<span class="pagenum">[26]</span> +nothing, and I had only just time to understand +that I was being carried along by +friends whose voices I recognised, when I +fell again into unconsciousness.</p> + +<p>I recovered to find myself back at Sir +Wilfrid's; a doctor was dressing my wounded +head and examining my shoulder; there was +a bandage across my eyes, and on trying to +speak I found that the right side of my face +was also bound up. I passed the night in +some pain, and must have been for part of it +light-headed, as I discovered two or three +days later, when Edgar, much moved, told +me that I had implored everybody who came +near me to witness that I left all I possessed +to Lady Helen Normanton, and had begged +for the pen and paper I could not have used, +to execute my proposed will.</p> + +<p>During the next few days Edgar hardly +left my bedside. My head and eyes were +still kept tightly bandaged, so that I could<span class="pagenum">[27]</span> +neither see nor speak, nor take solid food. +Seeing me in this piteous condition, Edgar, +like the good fellow he was, decided that +sermons were out of season, and that I must +be amused. His humour, however, being of +a somewhat slow and cumbrous kind adapted +to his size, I took advantage of my enforced +silence to let him joke on unheeded, while +my own thoughts wandered dreamily away +to my life of the past few years, and to the +odd, quickly discovered mistake in which it +had lately culminated. I was surprised by +the persistency with which Helen's placid +silliness tormented me, fresh instances of it +coming every hour into my mind until I +began to ask myself whether the little blue-eyed +lady had really been born into the +world with a soul at all. And so, no longer +suffering bodily pain, I lay day after day, +very much absorbed by my own self-questionings, +and by strange dreams of a<span class="pagenum">[28]</span> +new Helen, who came to me with the fair +face and soft eyes of the old, but with bright +intelligence in her gaze, whispering with her +delicate lips words of love and tenderness.</p> + +<p>I woke up suddenly one night, still hot +with my sleeping fancy that this revised +edition of my <i>fiancée</i> had been with me. I +had seemed to feel her breath upon my +cheek, even to feel the touch of her lips upon +my ear, as she told me my illness had taught +her how much she loved me. I thought I +was answering her in passionate words with +a great thrill of joy in my heart, when I woke +up and found myself as usual in darkness and +silence.</p> + +<p>'Edgar!' I called out; 'Edgar!'</p> + +<p>He answered sleepily from a little way off, +'Yes. Do you want anything?'</p> + +<p>'No, thank you.'</p> + +<p>A pause.</p> + +<p>'I say,' I went on a few moments later,<span class="pagenum">[29]</span> +'nobody has been in the room, have +they?'</p> + +<p>'No, no-o-body,' with a yawn. 'At least, +I may have dozed, but I don't think——'</p> + +<p>'No, of course not.' But I was horribly +wide awake by this time. Some of the +bandages round my head having been removed +for the first time the evening before, +I had liberty of speech again, of which I +seemed resolved to make the most. 'I say, +Edgar, there's a fire flickering in the grate, +isn't there?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, why?'</p> + +<p>'Well, if I can see that quite well, why on +earth do they still keep the bandages over +my eyes? I know they were afraid of my +going blind. But I haven't; so what's it for?'</p> + +<p>'I don't know,' mumbled Edgar, rather +blankly. He added hastily, 'I suppose the +doctor knows best; you'd better leave them +alone.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[30]</span></p> + +<p>'Oh yes.'</p> + +<p>A long silence, during which Edgar, +under the impression that it was part of a +sick nurse's duty when the patient showed +signs of restlessness, pottered about the +room, and at last fell over something.</p> + +<p>'I say, Edgar,' I began again, 'isn't my +face a good deal battered about on the right +side?'</p> + +<p>I heard him stop, and there was a little +clash of glasses. Then he spoke, with some +constraint.</p> + +<p>'Yes, a little. I daresay it will be some +time before it gets all right. But you've no +internal injuries or broken bones, and that's +the great thing.'</p> + +<p>The last statement was made so effusively +that it was not difficult for me to gather that +my face was more deeply injured than he +liked to admit.</p> + +<p>'I know quite well,' said I composedly,<span class="pagenum">[31]</span> +'that I shall have to swell the proud ranks +of the plain after this; I must cultivate my +intellect and my virtues, like the poor girls +whom we don't dance with! I've lost a +finger, too, haven't I? On my right hand?'</p> + +<p>'Only two joints of it,' answered Edgar, +with laboured cheerfulness.</p> + +<p>'What would poor Helen say to me if she +could see me now?' I suggested, rather +diffidently.</p> + +<p>'Say! Why, what every true woman +would say, that she loved you ten times +better now you were disfigured than she did +when you were the counterpart of every +other good-looking popinjay in town!'</p> + +<p>This, uttered with much ponderous vehemence, +was by no means reassuring to me. +In the first place, it confirmed the idea that +my injuries would leave permanent marks. +In the second place, it led me to ask myself +whether, Helen's chief merit in my eyes<span class="pagenum">[32]</span> +having been good looks, my chief merit in +her eyes might not have been the same.</p> + +<p>As I said nothing, Edgar, now fully awake, +came nearer to the bed, and said solemnly: +'You do Helen injustice, Harry.'</p> + +<p>'And you taught me to do her injustice, +Edgar.'</p> + +<p>At first he said nothing to this, and I +knew that he understood me. But presently +I felt his hand laid emphatically on my left +shoulder, and he began in a low earnest voice: +'Look here, old chap, that's not quite fair. +I may have inveighed against the intellectual +inferiority of women scores of times when +you encouraged me by feeble protest. I may +have spoken of my own sister as an example +of the sweet and silly. When you saw her +and became infatuated about her I listened +to your rhapsodies in silence because I couldn't +endorse your opinion that she was an angel. +But I was glad you had taken a fancy to the<span class="pagenum">[33]</span> +child, and I knew that you might have done +much worse. Well, my opinions have undergone +no transformation. The women of the +middle class, whom it is now the fashion to +educate, the women of the lower class, who +have to work, may be considered as reasoning +creatures, varying, as men do, in their +reasoning powers. But the women of the +upper classes, <i>pur sang</i>, who are equally above +education and labour, may be ranked all together, +with the exception of those whom +alliance with the class below has regenerated, +as more or less fascinating idiots, whose minds +are cramped by unnatural and ignorant prejudices, +and in whom an occasional ray of +intelligence disperses itself in mere freaks of +art, of philanthropy, or of religion.'</p> + +<p>'Then, if you are logical, you may end by +marrying a barmaid.'</p> + +<p>'I think not. Barmaids are young women +who, by the exacting demands of their calling,<span class="pagenum">[34]</span> +are bound to be healthy, active, intelligent +and shrewd. Consider how such a woman +would be thrown away in the ridiculous and +empty existence led by our wives! How she +would laugh at the shallow interests of the +women around her, and despise her do-nothing +husband! Without counting that she +might be demoralised by her new position, and +add the mistakes of a parvenue to the foibles +of the class into which she was admitted!'</p> + +<p>'Then, on the whole, you will——'</p> + +<p>'Remain single, or take for wife the usual +fool of my own class, who will have the usual +fool of her own class for a husband.'</p> + +<p>'But, Edgar,' said I, after a short pause, +'I am not so calm as you are, and my mind +is less well-regulated than yours. I want +something in my wife that you would not +want from yours. The docile acceptance of +my love would never content me; I want it +returned.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[35]</span></p> + +<p>But this view of the case had the effect of +irritating Edgar, who naturally resented the +idea of any other nature having deeper needs +than his own.</p> + +<p>'It is unreasonable to expect, from our +physical and mental inferior, powers equal to +our own,' he said, in a tone of dismissal of +the subject.</p> + +<p>'Then how am I to expect from Helen +the power of looking at my disfigured face +without horror, when I am by no means sure +that I could have felt redoubled devotion if a +similar accident had happened to her?'</p> + +<p>'Women are different from us, and not to +be judged by the same rules. Beauty—of +some sort—is a duty with them, while every +one knows that an ugly man makes quicker +progress with them than a handsome one.'</p> + +<p>'Well, I should like to judge what sort of +progress with them my ugliness is likely to +make. Give me a looking-glass.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[36]</span></p> + +<p>But he would not. He said the doctor +had forbidden me to use my eyes yet, that +my face was still unhealed, and the bandages +must not be moved. And finally he declined +to talk to me any longer, and told me to go +to sleep.</p> + +<p>I was not satisfied. I knew that I was +getting well fast, that there was no need to +keep me in bed, and I felt curious as to the +reason of my still being kept so close a prisoner. +So I found an opportunity when I had +been left, as they thought, asleep, to remove +the bandage from my eyes with my left hand. +My sight seemed as good as ever, but the +skin round about my right eye seemed to +be tightly drawn. The window-blinds were +down, and as evening was coming on there +was only light enough to distinguish dimly +the objects in the room by the help of the +flickering flame of the fire. I got out of bed +and walked to the toilet-table, but the looking-glass<span class="pagenum">[37]</span> +had been taken away; to the mantelpiece, +with the same result. I grew impatient, +angry, and rather anxious. There was a +hand-glass in my dressing-bag, if I could only +find that; I remembered that I had left it in +the dressing-room. I dashed into the room, +and as that, too, was darkened, I turned to +draw up the blind. By that movement I +came face to face with a sight so appalling +that, of all the misfortunes my accident has +ever brought upon me, none, I think, has +given me a shock for the first moment so +horrible. I saw before me the figure of a +man with the face of a devil.</p> + +<p>The right eyebrow, the right side of the +moustache were gone, and the hair as far as +the back of the right ear. The whole of this +side of the face, from forehead to chin, was a +puckered drawn mass of blackened shrivelled +skin, distorted into grotesque seams and furrows. +The right end of the eye and the right<span class="pagenum">[38]</span> +corner of the mouth were drawn up, giving to +the whole face a sinister and evil expression.</p> + +<p>After a few moments' contemplation of +my new self, I turned away from the glass, +feeling sick with disgust and horror. In the +first shock of my discovery, no reflection that +I was looking upon the fearful sight at its +worst, and that the healing work was still +going on underneath the scarred and desiccated +skin, came to console me.</p> + +<p>My back turned upon my own image, my +stupefaction gave place to rapid thought. I +saw in a moment that the old course of my +life was at one blow broken up, that I must +begin again as if I had been born that day. +I must go away, not only from my own +friends, but from the chance of coming in contact +with them again. I must leave England. +Also, since if I were to make my resolution +known I should be inundated with kindly +meant dissuasions, I must breathe no hint of<span class="pagenum">[39]</span> +my intention until I was quite able to carry +it into execution. I was sure that no one but +the doctor, and perhaps Edgar, had seen my +face in its present condition, and that no description +could give to others any idea of its +appearance. I felt that my bodily health and +strength were all that they had ever been, +and that nothing but the wish to keep the +knowledge of my disfigurement from me as +long as possible had prompted the doctor's +orders to me to remain in bed and to retain +the bandages. It now, too, occurred to me +that delay might bring some slight modification +of my hideousness, and I resolved to +let nature do what little she could, and not to +set out on my travels until the mask which +now covered one-half my face had fallen off, +and disclosed whatever fresh horrors might +be underneath. Then I would, without letting +any one see my face, start for some German +Spa for the benefit of my health; before<span class="pagenum">[40]</span> +I had been away three months I should be +forgotten, and free to wend my way wherever +I pleased. This idea, to a man to whom life +had begun to present something like a deadlock, +was not without charm. Society was a +bore, love a delusion; now was the chance to +find out what else there was worth learning +in life.</p> + +<p>I heard Edgar's voice in the distance, and +had only time to rush back to bed, put on +the bandages round my face, and turn on my +side as if asleep, before he came into the +room.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep02.jpg" width="130" height="107" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[41]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch03.jpg" width="400" height="125" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III</h2> + +<p>As I heard Edgar creaking softly about the +room, giving the impression, even as I lay +with my eyes shut, unable to observe his +elaborate movements, of great weight trying +to be light, my heart smote me at the thought +of deceiving him with the rest. 'The elephant,' +it had been a joke between ourselves +for me to call him; and like a great elephant +he was, huge, intelligent, gentle, not without +a certain massive beauty, with keen feelings +of loyalty, and a long slow-smouldering +memory, with inclinations towards a laborious +and somewhat painful sportiveness. +Rebel against his sententious homilies as I<span class="pagenum">[42]</span> +occasionally might, he was a good old fellow, +and I was fond of him. I moved a little to +show him I was awake, and then said:</p> + +<p>'Hallo, Edgar, is that you?'</p> + +<p>'Yes. How do you feel?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, ever so much better. I shall be getting +up soon now.'</p> + +<p>'Well, you mustn't be in too great a hurry. +You have been patient so long, it would +be a pity to destroy your credit just at the +last.'</p> + +<p>'I am only waiting for my face to heal +now, of course. But, I say, Edgar, it will +take a long time for that to get all right. +Why, part of my cheek was completely blown +away. It will be months, at least, before I +dare show myself. I think I shall go to some +German baths, and, you know, I don't know +how long I may have to stay there. In the +meantime——'</p> + +<p>'In the meantime, what?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[43]</span></p> + +<p>'Your sister—Helen—must know that she +is free.'</p> + +<p>'But supposing she doesn't want to be +free? Supposing——'</p> + +<p>'Supposing she has a fancy for being tied +to a death's-head? No, Edgar, she must be +released at once. I want you to write a +letter from me to her, if you will. The +sooner it is over the better for both of us.'</p> + +<p>I suppose Edgar felt that my attitude +was not one of pure resignation, for he made +no further effort to dissuade me, but went +instantly in search of pens and paper. He +was so very submissive, however, in taking +this step, which I knew to be distasteful to +him, that I was quite sure, before the letter +was half written, that he was 'up to' something. +So, when it was finished, I was +mean enough to insist on his leaving it with +me, together with the directed envelope; +and after reading it carefully through myself<span class="pagenum">[44]</span> +as soon as I was alone, I made the housekeeper +fold it and seal it up in my presence, +and directed her to get it posted at once.</p> + +<p>The letter said:</p> + +<blockquote><p><span class="smcap">My Dearest Helen</span>—You have no doubt +long ago heard the reason of my silence, and forgiven +me for it, I am sure. I am sorry to tell +you that my head [I felt an odd shyness of +saying "my face"] has been injured so seriously +that it will be a long time before I can return to +town; I am going straight to Germany as soon +as I am able to leave here, and cannot yet tell +when I shall be in England again. Under these +circumstances, although I know that you would +overlook my new imperfections with the same +sweetness with which you have forgiven my older +defects, I feel that I cannot impose again upon +your generosity. I therefore set you free, begging +you to do me one last kindness by not returning +to me the little souvenirs that you have from time +to time been good enough to accept from me. +And please don't send me back my letters, if you +have ever received them with any pleasure. +Burn them if you like. I will send back yours if<span class="pagenum">[45]</span> +you wish; but, as no woman will ever look with +love upon my face again, your womanly dignity +will suffer but little if you let me still keep them. +There are only eight of them. And there is a +glove, of course, and a packet of dried flowers, of +course, and the little silver match-box. All these +I shall insist upon keeping, whether you like it or +not. They could not compromise anybody; the +little glove could pass for a child's. You will +trust me with them all, will you not? You see +this isn't the usual broken-off match with its +prelude of disastrous squabbles and wrangles. +Some jealous demon who saw I did not deserve +my good fortune has broken my hopes of happiness +abruptly, and released you from a chain +which I am afraid my ill-temper had already +begun to make irksome to you. Forgive me +now, and bear as kindly a recollection of me as +you can. God bless you, Helen. I shall always +treasure the remembrance of your little fairy face, +and remember gratefully your sweet forbearance +with me.—Yours most sincerely and affectionately,</p> + +<p class="author"><span class="smcap">Henry Lyttleton Maude</span>.</p></blockquote> + +<p>I hoped the child would not think this<span class="pagenum">[46]</span> +letter too cold and formal. My heart +yearned towards her now with a longing +more tender than before; I felt oppressed +by the necessity of foregoing the shallow +little love which, as the handsomest man +about town, I had begun to consider far +beneath my deserts.</p> + +<p>Two days later I received an answer from +Helen. I waited until I was alone to read +it, for I still guarded my face carefully from +all eyes but the doctor's. The touch of the +letter, the sight of the sprawling, slap-dash +handwriting which it delighted Helen to +assume, in common with the other young +ladies of her generation, moved me; for I +could not but feel that this was the last +'<i>billet</i>' by any possibility to be called '<i>doux</i>' +which I should ever receive. I opened it +with an apprehension that I should find the +contents less moving than the envelope. +I was mistaken.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[47]</span></p> + +<blockquote><p><span class="smcap">My Dearest Harry</span>—I am afraid you have +a very poor opinion of me if you think I care for +nothing but personal attractions. You have +always been most kind and generous to me, and +you need not think because I am not intellectual +myself I do not care for a man who is intellectual +and all those things. I am coming down to see +you myself and then if you wish to give me up +you can do so—but I hope you will not throw me +over so hastily. I am so sorry for your accident +and that it has made you so ill, but I do not +mind what else it has done.—Believe me, dearest +Harry, with best love, hoping you will soon be +quite recovered, yours ever lovingly,</p> + +<p class="author"><span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</p></blockquote> + +<p>Childish as the letter was it touched me +deeply. Edgar must be right after all; +I had misjudged a simple but loyal nature +that only wanted an emergency to bring its +nobler qualities to the surface. I told him +about the letter, and added that it made +giving her up harder to bear.</p> + +<p>'Why should you give her up?' said he<span class="pagenum">[48]</span> +eagerly. 'You see she herself will not hear +of it.'</p> + +<p>'Because she does not understand the +case. I am disfigured past recognition; she +would shrink with horror from the sight of +me. It would be a shock even to you, a +strong unromantic man, to see what I have +become.'</p> + +<p>'You are too sensitive, old fellow. However +shocking the change in you may be, +you cannot fail to exaggerate its effect on +others.'</p> + +<p>'We shall see.'</p> + +<p>A few days later, when the horror of my +new appearance was indeed a little mitigated +by the falling off of the withered outer skin +which had covered the right side of my face, +I tried the effect of my striking physiognomy +on Edgar.</p> + +<p>Whether he had expected some such +surprise, or whether he was endowed with<span class="pagenum">[49]</span> +a splendid insensibility to ugliness, he stood +the shock with the most stolid placidity.</p> + +<p>'Well?' said I defiantly, looking at him +from out my ill-matched eyes in a passion of +aggressive rage.</p> + +<p>'Well?' said he, as complacently as if +I had been a turnip.</p> + +<p>'I hope you admire this style of beauty,' +I hurled out savagely.</p> + +<p>'I don't go quite so far as that, but it's +really much better than I expected.'</p> + +<p>'You are easily pleased.'</p> + +<p>He went on quietly. 'The chief impression +your countenance gives one now is +not, as you flatter yourself, of consummate +ugliness, but—forgive me—of consummate +villainy.'</p> + +<p>'What!'</p> + +<p>'You are preserved for ever from the +danger of being anything but strictly virtuous +and straightforward in your dealings,<span class="pagenum">[50]</span> +for no one would trust the possessor of +that countenance with either a secret or a +sovereign.'</p> + +<p>This blunt frankness acted better than +any softer measures could have done; it +made me laugh. Looking again at myself +in a glass, for I was now up and dressed, +I noticed, what had escaped me before in my +paralysed contemplation of the change in my +own features, that the drawing up of the +right-hand corners of my mouth and eye, +together with the removal of every vestige +of hair from that side of the face, had given +me the grotesquely repulsive leer of a satyr. +To crown my disadvantages, the left side +of my face, seen in profile, still retained its +natural appearance to mock my new hideousness.</p> + +<p>'But I think I see a way out of all difficulties,' +Edgar went on, more seriously. +'You will advance objections, I know, but<span class="pagenum">[51]</span> +you must permit your objections to be overruled. +Accident can be combated by artifice, +and to artifice you must resort until nature +does her work and relieves you from the new +necessity.'</p> + +<p>We fought out the question, and at last +I very unwillingly gave way, and submitted +to the adoption of a false eyebrow, a false +moustache, and a beautiful tuft of curly false +hair much superior to my own, to hide the +bald patch left by the accident.</p> + +<p>Rather elated by this distinct improvement, +assumed for the reception of Helen's +promised visit, and encouraged by assurances +that my own hair would soon grow +again and enable me to discard its substitutes, +I was ready to believe that the +discoloration and disfigurement still visible +were comparatively unimportant, and that +the repellent expression, which no artifice +much abated, might indeed affect strangers,<span class="pagenum">[52]</span> +but would not, in the sight of my friends, +obscure their long-established impression of +my amiability and sweetness.</p> + +<p>Sir Wilfrid and Lady Speke had by this +time gone up to town, leaving the place, +with many kind wishes for my early and +complete recovery, entirely at the disposal of +myself and my unwearied nurse Edgar. So +a day was fixed for the arrival of Helen and +her mother. On that eventful afternoon +Edgar settled me in a small sitting-room on +the same floor with the room I had been +occupying, before starting for the station. +The blinds were drawn, and I sat with +my back to this carefully-softened light. I +wished, now that the ordeal was getting so +near, that I had not let myself be dissuaded +from my intention of sneaking quietly away +without showing my disfigured face to any +one. What was the use of my seeing the +child again? I did indeed long foolishly for<span class="pagenum">[53]</span> +a few last words with her since she had +shown unexpected depth of feeling towards +me in my misfortune; but it could not end, +as Edgar still obstinately hoped, in a renewal +of our engagement, which I persisted in +regarding as definitely broken. The meeting +was only for a farewell. I was ashamed +of the artifices I had used to conceal the +traces of my accident, and I was feeling half +inclined to tear off my false ornaments and +present myself in my true hideousness, when +the arrival of my visitors luckily stopped me. +The room where I sat was at the back of +the house, so that I had no warning of the +return of the carriage until I heard Edgar's +voice. I sprang up with one last look of +agony at my reflection in the glass, which +seemed to me at that moment a ghastly +caricature of my old self, and then sat nervously +down again, feeling like a doomed +wretch with the executioner outside his cell.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[54]</span></p> + +<p>The door opened, and Edgar bounded up +to me, dragging Helen, who seemed shy and +nervous, forward on his arm.</p> + +<p>'Here he is, Nellie. Getting well fast, +you see. Where is mother? I must fetch +her up.'</p> + +<p>I saw in a moment through the dear clumsy +fellow's manœuvres. He prided himself on +his strategy, fancying he had only to leave us +together for us to have a touching reconciliation. +But I knew better. I saw her turn +pale and cling to her brother's arm, and I +said hastily—</p> + +<p>'No, no. Lady Castleford is not far behind, +you may be sure. I am glad to see you, +Lady Helen; it is very kind of you to come. +It is easier——'</p> + +<p>'Helen has come to persuade you to get +well in England among your friends instead +of going abroad to be ill among strangers,' +said Edgar, cutting me short. 'He's getting<span class="pagenum">[55]</span> +on well, isn't he, Helen? Come, he's well +enough to have his hand shaken now.'</p> + +<p>He drew her forward, to my inexpressible +pain, for I saw the reluctance in her face. +Before I could attempt a protest, a reassuring +word, she had held out her hand, which I +timidly took. Then she lifted her eyes to +my face for the first time. For the first and +last time I saw the expression of the most +vivid, most acute emotion on the fairy face. +The muscles were contracted, the pupils of +the eyes were dilated with intense horror.</p> + +<p>'I am very glad——' she began.</p> + +<p>Then, before she could finish her sentence, +even while I still held her little hand in mine, +she fell like a crushed flower unconscious in +her brother's arms.</p> + +<p>Poor fellow! How contrite, how miserably, +abjectly humble and despairing he was +when he appeared later in my room, to which +I had fled, like a wounded beast to its den,<span class="pagenum">[56]</span> +when little Helen's unwilling blow gave me +my social death-warrant. I was able to laugh +then, and to tell him truly that my only regret +was for the pain the injudicious meeting had +caused poor Helen.</p> + +<p>'It was you who dictated her letter to me,' +I said.</p> + +<p>Edgar did not attempt to deny it.</p> + +<p>'She ought to be ashamed of herself,' said +he, reddening with indignation.</p> + +<p>'No, we ought to be ashamed of ourselves. +I for my vanity in thinking there was any +charm in my dull personality to compensate +for the loss of the only merit I could have in +a girl's eyes; you for your generous idiotcy in +carrying that mistake farther still. Are they +gone?'</p> + +<p>'Yes. My mother wanted to see you, +but——'</p> + +<p>'That's all right. And now, old fellow, +you mustn't make any more blunders on my<span class="pagenum">[57]</span> +account; you must let me make my own. I +leave England in a few days.'</p> + +<p>'Well, I suppose you must do as you like. +I'll come and see you off.'</p> + +<p>'No,' said I firmly. 'I shall say good-bye +to you here, Edgar. I have very particular +reasons for it, and you must give way +to me in this.'</p> + +<p>He tried to change my mind; he wanted +to know my reasons; but he was unsuccessful +in both attempts. I knew how obstinate he +was, and that if I once allowed him to go with +me to town, he would be sure to subject me +to more painful meetings in the endeavour to +persuade me to remain in England. Luckily +for me, the very next day the Marquis telegraphed +to his son to join him immediately +in Monmouthshire; and no sooner had Edgar +left the house, with the sure knowledge that +he should not see me again, than I fulfilled +his fears by instant preparation for my own<span class="pagenum">[58]</span> +departure. I had discarded all disguises, and +contented myself by masking my face as much +as possible with a travelling cap and a muffler; +on arriving in town I went to an hotel in +Covent Garden, where I was not known, and +by the evening of the following day I had +provided myself with the outfit of a Transpontine +villain, a low-crowned, wide-brimmed soft +hat and a black Spanish cloak.</p> + +<p>In this get-up, which, when not made too +conspicuous by a stage-walk and melodramatic +glances around, is really a very efficient disguise +both of form and features, I knew myself +to be quite safe from recognition anywhere, +and having decided to start from Charing +Cross for Cologne by way of Ostend on the +following morning, I devoted the evening of +my second day in town to a last look round.</p> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[59]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch04.jpg" width="400" height="124" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV</h2> + +<p>It was Saturday evening; a week of fog +having been succeeded by a week of rain, the +pavements were now well coated with black +slimy mud, in which one kept one's footing +as best one could, stimulated by plentiful +showers of the same substance, in a still more +fluid state, flung by the wheels of passing +vehicles.</p> + +<p>Oh, wisely-governed city, where there is +work for thousands of starving men, while +thousands of men are starving for want of +work! If a boy can keep a crossing clean in +a crowded thoroughfare, could not an organised +gang of men, ten times as numerous and<span class="pagenum">[60]</span> +twice as active as our gentle scavengers, save +the sacred boots, skirts, and trousers of the +respectable classes from that brush-resisting +abomination, London mud? I respectfully +recommend this suggestion to my betters +with the assurance that, if it is considered of +any value, there are plenty more where that +came from.</p> + +<p>Starting from Covent Garden, I made my +way through King Street, Garrick Street, +Cranbourne Street, Leicester Square and +Coventry Street, into Regent Street, and was +struck by a hundred common London sights +and incidents which, in the old days, when +my own life was so idle and yet so absorbing, +had entirely escaped my notice. Oxford +Street, Bond Street, Piccadilly, St. James's +Street, I made the tour of them all; past the +clubs, of many of which I was a member, +brushing, unrecognised, by a dozen men who +had known me well, into Trafalgar Square,<span class="pagenum">[61]</span> +where the gas-lamps cast long glittering lines +of light on the wet pavement, and the spire +of St. Martin's and the dome of the National +Gallery rose like gray shadow-palaces above +in the rainy air.</p> + +<p>I dined at a restaurant in the Strand, and +then, growing confident in the security of my +disguise, I thought I would take a farewell +glance at an old chum who had run Edgar +pretty close in my esteem. He was an actor, +and was fulfilling an engagement at a theatre +in the Strand. When I add that he played +what are technically called 'juvenile' parts—that +is to say, those of the stage lovers—my +taste may seem strange, until I explain +that Fabian Scott was the very worst of all +the fashionable 'juveniles,' being addicted to +literary and artistic pursuits and other intellectual +exercises which, while permissible and +innocuous to what are called 'character' +actors, are ruin to 'juveniles,' whose business<span class="pagenum">[62]</span> +requires vigour rather than thought, picturesqueness +rather than feeling. So that +Fabian, with his thin keen face, his intensity, +and some remnant of North-country stiffness, +stood only in the second rank of those whom +the ladies delighted to worship; and becoming +neither a great artist nor a great popinjay, +gave his friends a sense of not having done +quite the best with himself, but was a very +interesting, if somewhat excitable companion. +For my own part I had then, not knowing +how vitally important the question of his +character would one day become to me, +nothing to wish for in him save that he were +a little less sour and a little more sincere.</p> + +<p>The stage-door was up a narrow and dirty +court leading from the Strand. At the opening +of the court stood a stout fair man, who +looked like a German, and whose coarse, +swollen face and dull eyes bore witness to +a life of low dissipation. He was respectably<span class="pagenum">[63]</span> +but not well dressed, and he swung the cheap +and showy walking-stick in his hand slowly +backwards and forwards, in a stolidly swaggering +and aggressive manner. I should not +have noticed him so particularly, but for the +fact that he filled the narrow entrance to the +passage so completely that I had to ask him +to let me pass. Instead of immediately complying, +he looked at me from my feet to my +head with surly, half-tipsy insolence, and gave +a short thick laugh.</p> + +<p>'Oh, so you're one of the swells, I suppose, +who come hanging round stage-doors +to tempt hard-working respectable women +away from their lawful husbands! But it +won't do. I tell you it won't do!'</p> + +<p>I pushed him aside with one vigorous +thrust and went up the court, followed by the +outraged gentleman, who made no attempt +to molest me except by a torrent of abusive +eloquence, from which I gathered that he<span class="pagenum">[64]</span> +was the husband of one of the actresses at +the theatre, and that she did not appreciate +the virtues of her lord and master as he considered +she ought, but that, nevertheless, he +persisted in affording her the protection of +his manly arm, and would do so in spite of +all the d——d 'mashers' in London.</p> + +<p>At this point the stage-doorkeeper came +out of his little box, and informed the angry +gentleman that if he went on disgracing the +place by his scandalous conduct his wife's +services would be dispensed with; 'and if +there's no money for her to earn, there'll be +no beer for you to drink, Mr. Ellmer,' continued +the little old man, with more point +than politeness.</p> + +<p>The threat had instant effect. Mr. Ellmer +subsided into indignant mumbling, and went +down the court again.</p> + +<p>I had forgotten myself in interest at the +rout of Mr. Ellmer, to whom I had taken a<span class="pagenum">[65]</span> +rabid dislike, and was standing in the full, if +feeble light of the gas over the stage-door, +when an inner door was thrust open, and the +next moment Fabian Scott was shaking my +hand heartily.</p> + +<p>'Hallo, Harry! I am glad to see you +again. I was afraid you were going away +without a word to your old friends; but you +were always better than your reputation. Got +over your accident all right—eh?'</p> + +<p>'As well as could be expected, I suppose. +I start for Germany to-morrow.'</p> + +<p>'Ah!' By this one exclamation he signified +that he understood the case, and knew +that my mind was definitely made up. Actors +are men of the world, and I felt the relief of +talking to him after the stolid and obstinate +misapprehension with which dear old Edgar +persisted in meeting my reasons for saying +good-bye to society. 'It was good of you +not to go without coming here,' he went on,<span class="pagenum">[66]</span> +appreciating the fact that my visit must have +entailed an effort.</p> + +<p>'To tell the truth, I meant to see you +without your seeing me; but I got interested +in a moral victory just obtained by your doorkeeper +over an eloquent visitor, and so you +caught me.'</p> + +<p>Scott glanced at the swaggering Ellmer.</p> + +<p>'Drunken brute!' said he, with much +disgust. 'His wife—a hard-working little +woman, who acts under the name of Miss +Bailey—has had to bring her child to the +theatre with her to-night, for fear he should +get home before her and frighten the poor +little thing. Look! here they come. One +wonders how a wild beast can be the father +of an angel.'</p> + +<p>Scott was an ardent worshipper of beauty; +but I, a cooler mortal, could not think his +raptures excessive when he stood aside to +make way for a slim, pale, pretty woman, to<span class="pagenum">[67]</span> +whose hand there clung a child so beautiful +that my whole heart revolted at the thought +that the tipsy ruffian a few paces off was her +father. Both mother and child were shabbily +dressed, in clothes which gave one the idea +that November had overtaken them before +they could afford to replace the garments of +July. The little one was about eight years +old, a slender creature with a flower-like face, +round which, from under a home-made red +velvet cap, her light-brown hair fell in a +naturally curly tangle. Something in her +blue eyes reminded me of the childlike charm +of Helen's. Scott stopped them to say +good-night, effusively addressing the child as +his little sweetheart, and telling her that if +the boy who gave her an apple last Sunday +gave her another the next day, he should +find out where he lived and murder that +boy.</p> + +<p>'Beware, Babiole, of arousing the jealousy<span class="pagenum">[68]</span> +of a desperate man,' he ended, folding his +arms and tossing back his head.</p> + +<p>The child took his outburst quite seriously.</p> + +<p>'If he offers me another apple I must take +it,' she answered in a sweet demure little +voice. 'It would be rude to refuse. But +you needn't be angry, for I can like you too.'</p> + +<p>'Like me <i>too</i>!' thundered Scott, with +melodramatic gestures. 'Heaven and earth! +This is how the girl dares to trifle with the +fiercest passion that ever surged in a human +breast!'</p> + +<p>'If you're fierce I shan't like you,' said the +little one, in her measured way. 'Papa's +fierce, and he frightens me and mamma.'</p> + +<p>'Will you like me, little madam?' I ventured; +and, knowing that my disfigured face +was well concealed, I held out my hand. 'I +will love you very gently.'</p> + +<p>I made my voice as soft as I could, but +the deep tones or the sombre black figure<span class="pagenum">[69]</span> +frightened her. The quaint matronly demeanour +suddenly gave way to a child's +fright, and she hid her face in the folds +of her mother's black cloth jacket. Then +mamma began to rebuke in a voice and +manner oddly like the child's; and Fabian +seized Babiole and lifted her up to kiss +her.</p> + +<p>'And now will you give me a kiss?' said +he to her.</p> + +<p>'Yes, Mr. Scott.' She gave him a kiss +with the same demure simplicity.</p> + +<p>'And will you promise to kiss nobody but +me till you see me again?'</p> + +<p>'Really, Mr. Scott,' interrupted the mother +rather tartly, 'you shouldn't put such ideas +into the child's head. They'll come quite +soon enough of their own accord.'</p> + +<p>She had one eye upon her husband, who +was waiting farther down the court; and the +wifely desire to be 'at him' seemed to put a<span class="pagenum">[70]</span> +little extra vinegar into her tone. With a +hasty good-night to Fabian, and a frosty +little bow to the unknown black figure, she +said, 'Come, Babiole,' and hurried away +with the child.</p> + +<p>Scott put his arm through mine, and we +followed them slowly back into the Strand, +where, amidst the throng of people who had +just poured out of the theatres, we soon lost +sight of them. We did not go far together, +for Fabian had an appointment to supper; +but before we parted, he, more ready-witted +than Edgar, had talked me into a promise +that, when the summer came round and he +had a chance of a holiday, I would let him +know where I was, that he might invite +himself to come and see me.</p> + +<p>'You don't think I shall come back among +you again, then?' I said curiously.</p> + +<p>'I don't know. The taste for wandering, +like all other tastes, grows with indulgence.<span class="pagenum">[71]</span> +Good-bye, Harry, and God bless you whereever +you go.'</p> + +<p>I wrung his hand, scarcely able to speak. +His words were a prophecy, I knew; and at +the moment of taking this last outsider's look +at the scenes of my old life, it seemed to me +that a dungeon-door had swung to on youth +and hope and happiness, shutting me in for +ever to a very lonely solitude.</p> + +<p>'Good-bye, good-bye, Fabian,' said I, and +I walked hastily away lest I should keep on +wringing his hand all night.</p> + +<p>For three hours more I walked about the +London streets, unable to tear myself away +from them, sneaking again past the clubs, +with a feeling of gushing affection towards a +score of idiotic young men and prosy old +ones who passed me on the pavement on their +way in or out, devoured by a longing to exchange +if only half a dozen words with men +whom I had often avoided as bores. Near<span class="pagenum">[72]</span> +the steps of the Carlton I did try to address +one quiet old gentleman whom, on account of +his rapacity for papers, I had cordially hated. +A ridiculous shyness made me hoarse; and +on hearing a husky voice close to his ears in +almost apologetic tones, he started violently, +cried, 'Eh, what? No, no! Here—hansom!' +and I retreated like one of the +damned.</p> + +<p>I got into Grosvenor Square, passed +through a throng of carriages, and saw the +bright lights in a house where they were +giving a birthday dance to which I had been +specially invited months before. Helen +would be there, I knew; I felt a jealous +satisfaction in remembering that old Saxmundham +was away, nursing his gout at +Torquay. What of that? There were +plenty of other men to step into my shoes. +At first I thought I would stay, and walk up +and down the square for the chance of one<span class="pagenum">[73]</span> +more look at her. How well I knew how +she would come down the steps, in a timid +hesitating way, half-dazzled by the lights she +had just left, poising each little dainty foot a +moment above the next step, flit into the +carriage like a soft white bird, and drop her +pretty head back with a sigh, 'Oh, I'm so +tired, mamma!' her white throat curved +gently above the swansdown of her cloak, +the golden fringe of curls falling limply +almost to her eyebrows. I must wait—I +must see her again! What! On the arm +of another man! The blood rushed into +my head as these incoherent thoughts rose +rapidly in my mind; all the passions of my +life, of my youth, dammed up as they had +suddenly been by my accident and its fatal +consequences, seemed to surge up, break +through the barriers of resignation and resolve, +and make a madman of me. I was +not master of myself, I could not count upon<span class="pagenum">[74]</span> +what I should do if I saw her; seeing my +way no more than if I had been blind or +intoxicated, I turned away, and finding +myself presently in silent Bond Street, I +got into a hansom and went back to my +hotel.</p> + +<p>I fancied that night that sooner or later I +should end by suicide; but in the morning I +had to pack, to buy things for my journey, +and to set out on my travels. The worst +wrench was over; before I had left England +a week, I was almost a philosopher.</p> + +<p>For five years I lived a wanderer's life, +and found it fairly to my liking. I hunted +the boar in Germany, the wolf in France, +went salmon-fishing in Norway, shot two +tigers in India; got as far as California in +search of adventures, of which I had plenty; +passed a fortnight with Red Indians, whom +on the whole I prefer in pictures; and began +to acquire a distaste for civilisation, mitigated<span class="pagenum">[75]</span> +by enjoyment of meetings once a year with +Edgar and Fabian Scott.</p> + +<p>I retained the lease of a shooting-box and +of a few miles of deer-forest by the Deeside, +between Ballater and picturesque little Loch +Muick. Larkhall, as the house was called, +became, therefore, our yearly rendezvous. +On our second meeting, the party was increased +by a new member, Mr. William +Fussell, a gentleman who was 'something in +the City.' I never could quite make out what +that something was, but it must have been +some exceedingly pleasant and lucrative profession, +since Mr. Fussell, while constantly +describing himself as one of the unlucky ones, +was always in spirits high, not to say rollicking, +and was gifted with powers of enjoyment +which could only be the result of long and +assiduous practice. I had met him at a +German hotel, where I had been struck by +the magnificent insolence of his assertion that<span class="pagenum">[76]</span> +he had acquired a thorough command of the +German language in three weeks, and by the +astonishing measure of success which attended +his daring plunges into that tongue. +He was serenely jolly, selfish, and sociable, +pathetically complaining of his wife's conduct +in letting him come away for his holiday by +himself, and enjoying himself very much +without her. He was so envious of my good +fortune when I said that I was going boar-hunting, +that I invited him to accompany +me; and as he showed much pluck in a +rather nasty encounter we had with an infuriated +boar, and much frankness in owning +afterwards that he was frightened, I forthwith +invited him to Scotland, and he accepted the +invitation, as he did all good things which +came in his way, with avidity.</p> + +<p>At the third of our yearly meetings a fifth +and last member joined us. This was a +clever young Irishman, of good family, small<span class="pagenum">[77]</span> +fortune, sickly body, and still sicklier mind, +to whom accident had put me under a small +obligation, which I was glad to repay by +enabling him to visit the Highlands, to which +his doctor had prescribed a visit. He had +been making an exhaustive and strictly philosophical +inquiry into the iniquities of Paris, +in the corruption of which he appeared to +revel; indeed, he was clever enough to find +so much depravity in every spot he had +visited, that I wondered what repulsive view +he would be able to take of our sweet-scented +fir-forests, and the long miles of the rippling +winding Dee; or whether, in the absence of +labyrinthine mazes of dirt and disease, vice +and crime to explore and minutely expose, he +would pine and die.</p> + +<p>Except these two, I had, during those five +years of wandering, made no new friend. +My appalling ugliness, mitigated as it was +by time, had, together with the reserve it<span class="pagenum">[78]</span> +taught me, to a great degree isolated me. +But perfect independence has its pleasures, +and I was not an unhappy man. Until the +end of the fourth year I had not even a +servant, and I avoided all women; at that +point, however, I yielded to the fatal human +weakness of attaching to one's self some fellow-creature, +and engaged as my personal attendant +a cosmopolitan individual, whose +qualifications for the post consisted in the +fact that he had been a lawyer's clerk in +England, a cow-boy in Mexico, had had +charge of a lunatic at Naples, and was a +deserter from the Austrian army. Plain to +begin with, deeply marked with smallpox, +and disfigured by a sabre-cut across the nose, +he was even uglier than I, a fact which +seemed, from the frequency with which he +alluded to it, to gratify him as much as it did +me. His name was John Ferguson, but it +did not occur to me to connect his name with<span class="pagenum">[79]</span> +his origin until the time came to prepare for +my fifth annual visit to Scotland.</p> + +<p>'I should have thought one plain countenance +about you was enough, sir, without +your wanting to see them at every turn,' he +said ill-temperedly, when told to pack up.</p> + +<p>'I suppose you come from Auld Reekie +yourself, then, since you're so reluctant to go +back to it?'</p> + +<p>'Well, sir, and where's the harm of being +born there, provided you get away from it as +early as you can, and never go back to it till +you can help!'</p> + +<p>'Why, Ferguson, that's spoken like a true +patriot.'</p> + +<p>'Indeed, sir, I hope I am wise enough not +to hold a place the better for having produced +such a poor creature as myself,' said +John, who could always give a good account +of himself in an argument.</p> + +<p>But once established at Larkhall, Ferguson<span class="pagenum">[80]</span> +found himself so comfortable that, at the +end of the fortnight's visit of my friends, he +again made objection to packing up, which +I was in the mood to listen to indulgently.</p> + +<p>'It seems a pity like to leave the place till +the shooting season's over, don't it, sir?' he +hazarded one morning.</p> + +<p>'Yes, Ferguson, perhaps it does.'</p> + +<p>'The Continent wouldn't run away if it was +left to look after itself a few weeks longer, +would it, sir?' he went on.</p> + +<p>'No, Ferguson, perhaps it wouldn't,' +said I.</p> + +<p>'Shall I leave the packing till to-morrow, +sir?' he then asked.</p> + +<p>'Well, yes, I think you may.'</p> + +<p>From which it is clear that Ferguson had +already been shrewd enough to assume a +proper authority over his nominal master.</p> + +<p>I had become a little weary of wandering, +and although I by no means intended to give<span class="pagenum">[81]</span> +up the nomadic life which I had led for five +years, I thought a couple of months' rest +would be a pleasant change; I could be on +the move before the cold weather set in. +But September passed, and October and +November came, and it grew very bleak; +and still I stayed on, finding a new pleasure +in the changed aspect of the gaunt hills, in +seeing the snow patches grow larger and +larger on Lochnagar, in outstaying the last +of the late visitors, and in finding a spot +where solitude needed no seeking.</p> + +<p>The railway runs from Aberdeen to Ballater. +One morning, arriving at the little +station for my papers, I found a train just +starting, and was seized by an impulse to pay +a short visit to the granite city. A feeling +left by my wandering life made it always +difficult for me to see a train or a boat +start without me. So I sent a boy to Larkhall +with a message to Ferguson, who, with<span class="pagenum">[82]</span> +a lad under him, constituted my entire household, +took my ticket and started. It was +past five when I reached Aberdeen; after a +sharp walk to the brig o' Balgownie and +back, I hired a private room at an hotel, and +dined by myself. Making inquiries about +the theatre, I learnt that the entertainment +that week was very poor, and further that it +had been so badly patronised that it was +doubtful whether the unfortunate players +would get their meagre salaries. I was +glancing at the yellow bill which advertised +<i>Rob Roy</i> as a Saturday night attraction, +when I read the names of Miss Bailey and +Miss Babiole Bailey.</p> + +<p>I got up at once and walked quickly down +to the little theatre.</p> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[83]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch05.jpg" width="400" height="115" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V</h2> + +<p>I remember very little of the performance +that night, except the painful impression produced +upon me by the sight of the effort +with which a tall spectre-like woman, with +sunken hollow face and feeble voice, in whom +I with difficulty recognised pretty Mrs. +Ellmer, dragged herself through the part of +Diana Vernon. Babiole I utterly failed to +distinguish. Looking out as I did for my +little eight-year old fairy, with gold-brown +hair curling naturally in large loose rings +over her blue eyes, I could not be expected +to know that an awkward sparrow-legged +minion of the king, wearing high boots, a<span class="pagenum">[84]</span> +tabard, and a parson's wideawake pinned up +and ornamented with a long white feather, +was what five years and a limited stage wardrobe +had made of the lovely child.</p> + +<p>I waited for them at the stage door a +long time after the performance was over, +saw the rest of the little company come out +in twos and threes, one or two depressed and +silent, but most of them loudly cursing their +manager, the Scotch nation in general, and +the people of Aberdeen in particular. Then +the manager himself came out with his wife, +a buxom lady who had played Helen Macgregor +with a good deal of spirit, but who +seemed, from the stoical forbearance with +which she received the outpourings of her +husband's wrath at his ill-luck, to be a disappointingly +mild and meek person in private +life. 'But what will they do, Bob? I +believe the mother's dying,' I heard her +protest gently. 'Can't help that. We must<span class="pagenum">[85]</span> +look out for ourselves. And Marie will +make a better juvenile at half Miss Bailey's +screw,' said her husband gruffly. Last of all +came Mrs. Ellmer, thinner and shabbier +than ever, leaning on the arm of an overgrown +girl a little shorter than herself, whose +childishly meagre skirts were in odd contrast +with the protecting old-fashioned manner in +which she supported her mother, and whispered +to her not to cry, they would be all +right.</p> + +<p>I made myself known rather awkwardly, +for when I raised my hat and said, 'Mrs. +Ellmer, I think,' they only walked on a +little faster. The case was too serious with +them, however, for me to allow myself to be +easily rebuffed. I followed them with a long +and lame speech of introduction.</p> + +<p>'Don't you remember—five years ago—in +the Strand, when you were acting at the +"Vaudeville"—Mr. Fabian Scott?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[86]</span></p> + +<p>Babiole stopped and whispered something; +Mrs. Ellmer stopped too, and held +out her hand with a wan smile and a sudden +change to a rather effusive manner.</p> + +<p>'I beg your pardon, I am sure. I remember +perfectly, Mr. Scott introduced you +to me as a very old friend of his. You will +excuse me, won't you? One doesn't expect +to see gentlemen from town in these uncivilised +parts. Babiole, my dear, you remember +Mr.——'</p> + +<p>'Maude,' said I. 'It is very good of you +to remember me at all, after such a long +time. But I couldn't resist the temptation of +speaking to you; one sees, as you say, so +few beings up here whom one likes to call +fellow-creatures. Miss Babiole, you've +"growed out of knowledge." I suppose +you haven't seen much of our friend Fabian +lately, Mrs. Ellmer?'</p> + +<p>'No, indeed. I went on tour at the end<span class="pagenum">[87]</span> +of the season when I first had the pleasure +of meeting you, and we have been touring +ever since.'</p> + +<p>'Don't you get tired of the incessant +travelling? I suppose you seldom stay +more than a week at each place?'</p> + +<p>'Sometimes only two or three nights. It +is extremely fatiguing. In fact, I am going +to take a rest for a short time, for I find the +nightly work too much for me in my present +state of health,' said she, with a brave +attempt to check the tremor in her voice, +which was unspeakably piteous to me who +knew the true reason of the 'rest.'</p> + +<p>'If you are going to stay in Aberdeen, I +hope you will allow me to call upon you. I +live near Ballater, forty miles away in the +country, so you may guess how thankfully I +snatch at a chance of seeing a little society.'</p> + +<p>At the word 'society' Mrs. Ellmer +laughed almost hysterically.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[88]</span></p> + +<p>'I am afraid you would find solitude +livelier than our society,' she said, with a +pitiful attempt to be sprightly.</p> + +<p>'Well, will you let me try?'</p> + +<p>'Really, Mr. Maude, when we are in the +country we live in such a very quiet way. +Of course it's different when one is in town +and has one's own servants; and these +Scotch people have no notion of waiting at +table or serving things decently.'</p> + +<p>'I know, I know,' I broke in eagerly. +'I'm used to all that myself. Why, I live in +a tumble-down old house with a monkey and +a soldier for my household, so you may judge +that I have got used to the discomforts of the +North.'</p> + +<p>I saw Babiole stealthily shake her mother's +arm, and move her lips in a faint 'Yes, yes,'. +Reluctantly, and with more excuses for +having let the agent-in-advance take lodgings +for them which they would not have<span class="pagenum">[89]</span> +looked at had they known what a low +neighbourhood they were in, Mrs. Ellmer at +last consented that I should call and take tea +with them next day.</p> + +<p>I went back to my hotel and engaged a +room for the night. The poor woman's +sunken face haunted me even in my sleep; +and I grew nervous when half-past four +came, lest I should hear on arriving at the +bare and dirty-looking stone house which I +had already taken care to find out, that she +was dead. However, my fears had run away +with me. On my knocking at the door of +the top flat of the little house, Babiole opened +it, pretty and smiling, in a simple dress of +some sort of brown stuff, with lace and a red +necklace round her fair slim throat. She +had not seen my face before by daylight; +and I saw, by the flash of horror that passed +quickly over her features and was gone, how +much the sight shocked her.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[90]</span></p> + +<p>'I was afraid you would forget to come, +perhaps,' she said, in the prim little way I +remembered, as she led the way into a small +room, in which no one less used to the shifts +of travel than I was could have detected the +ingenious artifices by which a washhand-stand +became a sideboard, and a wardrobe +a book-case. The popular Scotch plan +of sleeping in a cupboard disposed of the +bed.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer looked better. Whether +influenced by her daughter's keen perception +that I was a friend in time of need, or +pleasantly excited at the novelty of receiving +a visitor, there was more spontaneity than I +had expected in her voluble welcome, more +brightness in the inevitable renewal of her +excuses for the simplicity of their surroundings. +To me, after my long exile from +everything fair or gentle in the way of +womanhood, the bare little room was<span class="pagenum">[91]</span> +luxurious enough with that pretty young +creature in it; for Babiole, though she had +lost much of her childish beauty, and was +rapidly approaching the 'gawky' stage of a +tall girl's development, had a softness in her +blue eyes when she looked at her mother, +which now seemed to me more charming +than the keen glance of unusual intellect. +She had, too, the natural refinement of all +gentle natures, and had had enough stage +training to be more graceful than girls of her +age generally are. Altogether, she interested +me greatly, so that I cast about in my mind +for some way of effectually helping them, +without destroying all chance of my meeting +them soon again.</p> + +<p>Babiole brought in the tea herself, while +Mrs. Ellmer carefully explained that Mrs. +Firth, the landlady, had such odd notions of +laying the table and such terribly noisy +manners, that, for the sake of her mother's<span class="pagenum">[92]</span> +nerves, Babiole had undertaken this little +domestic duty herself. But, from a glimpse +I caught later of Mrs. Firth's hands, as she +held the kitchen-door to spy at my exit from +behind it, I think there may have been +stronger reasons for keeping her in the +background when an aristocratic and presumably +cleanly visitor was about.</p> + +<p>Babiole did not talk much, but when, in +the course of the evening, I fell to describing +Larkhall and the country around it, in +deference to poor Mrs. Ellmer's thirsty wish +to know more of the rollicking luxury of my +bachelor home, the girl's eyes seemed to +grow larger with intense interest; and, after +a quick glance at my face, which had, I saw, +an unspeakable horror for her, she fixed her +eyes on the fire, and remained as quiet as a +statue while I enlarged on the good qualities +of my monkey, my birds, my dog, and the +view from my study window of the Muick<span class="pagenum">[93]</span> +just visible now between the bare branches +of the birch-trees.</p> + +<p>'I should like to live right among the hills +like that,' she said softly, when her mother +had exhausted her expressions of admiration.</p> + +<p>'Would you? You would find it very +lonely. In winter you would be snowed +up, as I shall most certainly be in a week or +two; and even when the roads are passable +you don't meet any one on them, except, +perhaps, a couple of peasants, whose language +would be to you as unintelligible as that of +wild animals going down into the village to +get food.'</p> + +<p>'But you can live there.'</p> + +<p>'Circumstances have made me solitary +everywhere.'</p> + +<p>She looked up at me; her face flushed, +her lips trembled with unutterable pity, and +the tears sprang to her eyes.</p> + +<p>Custom had long since made me callous<span class="pagenum">[94]</span> +to instinctive aversion, but this most unexpected +burst of intelligent sympathy made +my heart leap up. I said nothing, and began +to play with the tablecloth.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer, in the belief that the pause +was an awkward one, rushed into the breach, +and disturbed my sweet feeling rather uncouthly.</p> + +<p>'I am sure, Mr. Maude, no one thinks the +worse of you for the accident, whatever it +was, that disfigured you. For my part, I +always prefer plain men to handsome ones; +they're more intelligent, and don't think so +much of themselves.'</p> + +<p>Babiole gave her mother an alarmed +pleading look, which happily absorbed my +attention and neutralised the effect of this +speech. I could have borne worse things +than poor Mrs. Ellmer's rather tactless and +insipid conversation for the sake of watching +her daughter's mobile little face, and I am<span class="pagenum">[95]</span> +afraid they must have wished me away long +before I could make up my mind to go. +Babiole came to the outer door with me, and +I seized the opportunity to ask her what they +were going to do.</p> + +<p>'Mrs. Ellmer doesn't look strong enough +to act again at present,' I suggested.</p> + +<p>The girl's face clouded.</p> + +<p>'No. And even if she were, you see——' +She stopped.</p> + +<p>'Of course. Her place would be filled +up?'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' very sorrowfully. Then she looked +up again, her face grown suddenly bright +and hopeful, as with a flash of sunshine. +'But you needn't be afraid for us. Mamma +is so clever, and I am young and strong; we +shall be all right. We should be all right +now if only——'</p> + +<p>'If only?'</p> + +<p>'Why, you see, you mustn't think it's<span class="pagenum">[96]</span> +mamma's fault that we are left in a corner +like this; you don't know how she can save +and manage on—oh! so little. But whenever +she has, by care and making things do, +saved up a little money, it—it all goes, you +know.'</p> + +<p>The sudden reserve which showed itself +in her ingenuous manner towards the last +words was so very suggestive that the true +explanation of this phenomenon flashed upon +my mind.</p> + +<p>'Then somebody else puts in a claim,' I +suggested.</p> + +<p>The girl laughed a little, her full and +sensitive red lips opening widely over ivory-white +even teeth, and she nodded appreciation +of my quick perception.</p> + +<p>'Somebody else wants such a lot of things +that somebody else's wife and daughter can +do without,' she said, with a comical little +look of resignation. And, encouraged by<span class="pagenum">[97]</span> +my sympathetic silence, she went on, 'And +he has so much talent, Mr. Maude. If he +would only go on painting as poor mamma +goes on acting, he could make us all rich—if +he liked. And instead of that——'</p> + +<p>'Babiole!' cried her mother's voice, rather +tartly.</p> + +<p>'Yes, mamma.' Then she added, low +and quickly, with a frightened glance back +in the dusk, towards the door of their room, +'It's high treason to say even so much as +this, but it is so hard to know how she tries +and yet not to speak of it to any one. I +don't mean to blame my father, Mr. Maude, +but you know what men are——'</p> + +<p>It seemed to occur to her that this was an +indiscreet remark, but I said 'Yes, yes,' with +entire concurrence; for indeed who should +know what men were better than I? After +this she seemed as anxious to get rid of me as +civility allowed, but I had something to say.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[98]</span></p> + +<p>I gabbled it out fast and nervously, in a +husky whisper, lest mamma's sharp ear should +catch my proposal, and she should nip it in +the bud.</p> + +<p>'Look here, Miss Babiole; if you like the +hills, and you don't mind the cold, and your +mother wants a rest and a change, listen. I +was just going to advertise for some one to +act as caretaker in a little lodge I've got—scarcely +more than a cottage, but a little +place I don't want to go to rack and ruin. +If you and she could exist there in the winter—it +is a place where peat may be had for +the asking, and it really isn't an uncomfortable +little box, and I can't tell you what a +service you would be doing me if you would +persuade your mother to live in it until—until +I find a tenant, you know. In summer +I can get a splendid rent for the place, tiny +as it is, if only I can find some one to keep +it from going to pieces in the meantime. It's<span class="pagenum">[99]</span> +not badly furnished,' I hurried on mendaciously, +'and there's an old woman to do the +housework——'</p> + +<p>But here Babiole, who had been drinking +in my words with parted lips and starlight +eyes like a child at its first pantomime, +dazzled, bewildered, delighted, drew herself +straight up, and became suddenly prim.</p> + +<p>'In that case, Mr. Maude,' said she, with +demure pride that resented the suspicion of +charity, 'if the old woman can take care of +the house, surely she doesn't want two other +people to take care of her.'</p> + +<p>'But I tell you she's dead!' I burst out +angrily, annoyed at my blundering. 'There +was an old woman to look after the place, +but she was seventy-four, and she died the +week before last, of old age—nothing infectious. +Now, look here; you tell your +mother about it, and see if you can't persuade +her to oblige me. I'm sure the<span class="pagenum">[100]</span> +change would do her good; for it's very +healthy there. Why, you know the Queen +lives within eight miles of my house, and +you may be sure her Majesty wouldn't be +allowed to live anywhere where the air +wasn't good. Now, will you promise to try?'</p> + +<p>She said 'Yes,' and I knew, from the low +earnest whisper in which she breathed out +the word, that she meant it with all her soul. +I left her and almost ran back to my hotel, +as excited as a schoolboy, longing for the +next morning to come, so that I could go +back to Broad Street, and learn the fate of +my new freak. Any one who had witnessed +my anxiety would have decided at once that +I must be in love with either the mother or +the daughter; but I was not. The promise +of a new interest in life, of a glimpse of +pleasant society up in my hills, and the fancy +we all occasionally have for being kind to +something, were all as strong as my pity for<span class="pagenum">[101]</span> +the mother, my admiration for the daughter, +and my respect for both.</p> + +<p>I was debating next morning how soon it +would be discreet to call, when a note was +brought to me, which had been left 'by a +young lady.' I tore it open like a frantic +lover. It was from Mrs. Ellmer, an oddly +characteristic letter, alternately frosty and +gushing, but not without the dignity of the +hard-working. She said a great deal ceremoniously +about my kindness, a great deal +about her friends in London, her position +and that of 'my husband, a well-known artist, +whom you doubtless are acquainted with by +name.' But she wound up by saying that +since her health required that she should +have change of air, and since I had been so +very kind that she could scarcely refuse to +do me any service which she could conscientiously +perform, she would be happy to act +as caretaker of my house, and to keep it in<span class="pagenum">[102]</span> +order during the winter for future tenants, +provided I would be kind enough to understand +that she and her daughter would do +all the work of the house, and further that +they might be permitted to reside in a +strictly private manner.</p> + +<p>'Strictly private!' I laughed heartily to +myself at this expression. The dear lady +could hardly wish for more privacy than she +would get with four or five feet of snow piled +up before her door. I was quite light-hearted +at my success, and I had to tone down my +manner to its usual grave and melancholy +pitch before I knocked again at their door.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer opened the door herself, thus +disappointing me a little; Babiole's simple +confidences, which I liked to think were the +result not only of natural frankness, but of +instinctive trust in me, were pleasanter to listen +to than her mother's more artificial conversation. +We were both very dignified, both<span class="pagenum">[103]</span> +ceremoniously grateful to each other, and +when we entered the sitting-room and began +to discuss preliminaries in a somewhat pompous +and long-winded manner, Babiole sat, +quiet as a mouse, in a corner, as if afraid to +disturb by a breath the harmonious settlement +of a plan on which she had set her heart.</p> + +<p>At last all was arranged. It was now +Monday; Mrs. Ellmer and her daughter were +to hold themselves in readiness to enter into +possession by the following Friday or Saturday, +when I should return to Aberdeen to +escort them to Larkhall Lodge. I rose to +take my leave, not with the easy feeling of +equality of the day before, but with deep +humility, and repeated assurances of gratitude, +to which Mrs. Ellmer replied with mild and +dignified protest.</p> + +<p>But, in the passage, Babiole danced lightly +along to the door like a kitten, and holding +up her finger as a sign to me to keep silence,<span class="pagenum">[104]</span> +she clapped her hands noiselessly and nodded +to me several times in deliciously confiding +freemasonry.</p> + +<p>'I worked hard for it,' she said at last in a +very soft whisper, her red lips forming the +words carefully, near to my ear. 'Good-bye, +Mr. Maude,' she then said aloud and demurely, +but with her eyes dancing. And she +gave my hand a warm squeeze as she shook +it, and let me out into the nipping Scotch air +in the gloom of the darkening afternoon, with +a new and odd sense of a flash of brightness +and warmth into the world.</p> + +<p>Then I walked quickly along, devising by +what means that cottage, which my guilty soul +told me was bare of a single stick, could be +furnished and habitable by Friday. And a +cold chill crept through my bones as a new +and hitherto unthought-of question thrust +itself up in my mind:</p> + +<p>What would Ferguson say?</p> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[105]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch06.jpg" width="400" height="128" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI</h2> + +<p>I made a hasty tour of the second-hand shops +in Aberdeen, being wise enough to know that +if she were to find the cottage too spick and +span, Mrs. Ellmer would in a moment discover +my pious fraud. Having got together +in this way a very odd assortment of furniture, +I was rather at a loss about kitchen utensils, +when I was seized with the happy inspiration +of buying a new set of them for my own service, +and handing over those at present in use +in my kitchen to Mrs. Ellmer. Not knowing +much about these things, I had to buy in a +wholesale fashion, more, I fancy, to the advantage +of the seller than to my own. However,<span class="pagenum">[106]</span> +the business was got through somehow, the +things were to be sent on the following day, +and I sneaked back to Ballater by the 4.35 +train, wondering how I should break the +news to Ferguson, and wishing that by some +impossible good luck the immaculate one +might have committed in my absence some +slight breach of discipline which would give +me for once the superior position. If I could +only find him drunk! But though second to +none in his fondness for whiskey, nobody but +himself could tell when he had had more than +enough; so that hope was vain.</p> + +<p>It was not that I was afraid of Ferguson; +far from it. But his punctuality, his unflagging +mechanical industry, his many uncompromising +virtues made him a person to be +reckoned with; and it would have been easier +to own to a caprice inconsistent with one's +principles to a more intellectual person than +to him.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[107]</span></p> + +<p>It was getting dark before the train stopped +at Ballater, a few minutes before six. I had +to go through the village, over the rickety +wooden bridge—for the new one of stone was +not built then—and along the road which lies +on the south side of the Dee. The hills were +on my left, their bases covered with slim +birch-trees, whose bare branches swayed and +hissed like whips in the winter wind; on the +right, below the road, ran the crooked turbulent +little stream of Dee, now swollen with +late autumn rains, swirling round its many +curves, and rushing between the piles of the +bridge till the wooden structure rocked again. +Would those two delicate women be frightened +away by the cold and the loneliness from +the nest I was building for them, I wondered, +as I turned to the right to cross the little +stone bridge that arches over the Muick just +before that stream runs into the Dee. I +stopped and looked around me. There was<span class="pagenum">[108]</span> +a faint white light over the western hills +which enabled me to see dim outlines of the +objects I knew. Just beyond the bridge was +the forsaken little churchyard of Glenmuick, +which not even a ghost would care to haunt, +where now a cluster of gaunt bare ash-trees +thrust up spectral arms from the ground among +the mildewed grave-stones. The lonely +manse, a plain stone house shadowed by +dark evergreens, stood back a little from the +road on the opposite side. A mile away, +with the rushing Dee between, the spire of +Ballater church stood up among the roofs of +the village, flanked by fir-crowned Craigendarroch +on the north, and the Pannanich +Hills on the south. Straight on my road lay +between flat Lowland fields to a ragged fringe +of tall firs behind which, on a rising ground, +the shell of an old deserted dwelling, known +as Knock Castle, served in summer as a +meagre shelter for the Highland sheep in<span class="pagenum">[109]</span> +sudden storms. At this point the road turned +sharply to the left, the fringe of fir-trees growing +thicker upon the skirts of the forest; a +few paces farther this road divided into two +branches which struck off from each other in +the form of a V, the southernmost one leading +to Larkhall through a mile of fir-forest. +Would the very approach to their new abode +through this dark and winding road depress +the poor little women into looking upon the +cottage as a prison, after the life and movement +they were used to?</p> + +<p>The private road which led through my +own plantation to the house was divided +from the public thoroughfare by no lodge, +no gate, but ran modestly down between +borders of grass, which grew long and rank +in the summer time, for about half a mile, +until, the larches and Scotch firs growing +more sparsely to the south, one caught wider +and wider glimpses of broad green meadows<span class="pagenum">[110]</span> +where two or three horses were turned out +to find a meagre pasture. Here the drive +was carried over a little iron ornamental +bridge, which crossed a stream that was but +a thread in the warm weather; and leaving +the grass and the trees behind, one came +upon a broad lawn which ran right up to the +walls of the house, flanked to the north by +more grass and more trees, which shut out +the view of the stables and of the unused +cottage. To the south the land made a +sudden dip, and the hollow thus formed was +laid out as a garden, while the great bank +that sheltered it formed a succession of +terraces from which one caught glimpses of +the rushing Muick between the birches that +lined the banks of the impetuous little +stream.</p> + +<p>The house was a most unpretentious +building, in the plainest style of Scotch +country-house architecture, with rough<span class="pagenum">[111]</span> +cream-coloured walls, a tiled roof, small +irregular windows, and a mean little porch. +It was only saved from ugliness by a +growth of ivy over the lower portion and by +a freak of the designer, whereby one end +was raised a story above the rest, and the +roof of this portion made to slope north and +south, instead of east and west, like that of +the rest of the building. At the back the +firs and larches rose to a great height, the +house seeming to nestle under their protection +whenever the winter storms burst over +the bleak hills around.</p> + +<p>Ferguson was glad to see me, and welcomed +me back with a cordiality which +made my mind easier on the subject of the +announcement I had to make to him. I +went up to my room and, finding everything +prepared for me, told him I was +ready for dinner. Instead of going downstairs, +he only said, 'Yes, sir; it is<span class="pagenum">[112]</span> +coming up,' and knelt down to pull off my +boots.</p> + +<p>'All right,' said I; 'I can do that. I'm +very hungry.'</p> + +<p>'No doubt of it, sir,' he answered, but did +not stir. 'The fact is, sir, that knowing you +would come home hungry, and maybe very +much fatigued, and that to be in the kitchen +serving dinner and up here attending upon +you at the same time is a moral impossibility, +I made bold to ask an old and very respectable +female that was staying in the village to +give me a little help—just for this evening, +sir. She is very clean in her ways, sir, and +a most respectable and God-fearing body.'</p> + +<p>I jumped at the news, and congratulated +him upon his forethought with great heartiness.</p> + +<p>'I have no more objection to seeing a +woman's face about the place than you have +yourself, Ferguson,' I said cordially; 'in fact<span class="pagenum">[113]</span> +I have just given permission to two poor +ladies to pass the winter in the cottage at +the back, and I want you to help me to put +the place straight a bit for them. They +come in on Friday. I don't want the place +to fall to pieces with dry rot for want of +some one to live in it.'</p> + +<p>'Ladies won't keep the dry rot out of a +place, sir,' answered Ferguson, with dry +contempt. 'However, you know best, sir, +what kind of cattle you like to harbour in +your own barns, and I daresay they'll be +snug enough till the snow comes.'</p> + +<p>This dark suggestion was but the echo to +my own fears. I was so anxious to secure a +co-operation in my plan, not merely perfunctory, +but zealous, knowing well, as I did, +the highly-sensitive mood in which the elder +at least of my new tenants would arrive, that +even after this scantily-gracious speech I +humbled myself more than was meet.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[114]</span></p> + +<p>'By the bye, Ferguson,' I began again +after a short pause, during which he helped +me on with my coat, 'I'm thinking of having +the little north room upstairs fitted up for +you, as a sort of—sort of housekeeper's +room, butler's room, you know.' Mine was +such a nondescript household that it was not +easy to find a designation for any of the +apartments, but I wished thus neatly to +intimate that if my mayor of the palace had +matrimonial intentions, his do-nothing king +would not stand in his way. 'Now that my +household is becoming larger, I daresay you +would like to have some place where you +and Tim and Mrs.—Miss—what did you say +her name was? could sit in the evenings.'</p> + +<p>'Neither Mrs. nor Miss anything did +I say was her name,' answered Ferguson, +with grave deliberation. 'Plain Janet, sir; +she leaves titles to her betters. And the +kitchen does very well for me, sir, and for<span class="pagenum">[115]</span> +Janet too if you care to engage her as housekeeper, +after due trial of her capabilities.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, if she satisfies you she will satisfy +me.'</p> + +<p>'None the less I should wish you to see +her, that you may understand it was for your +better service and not for my own pleasure +that I introduced her here. I have no +opinion of women, sir, until they are past +the age for frivolity, and I'm not handsome +enough to go courting myself.'</p> + +<p>Whether this was a warning to me not to +be beguiled into a fatal trust in the power of +my own beauty, and an obscure hint that in +his opinion I was in danger of making a fool +of myself, Ferguson's face was too wooden +to betray; but the manner in which he gave +his services towards putting the cottage in +order was unsatisfactory, not to say venomous. +He veiled his displeasure with my new +freak under an officious zeal for the comfort<span class="pagenum">[116]</span> +of the coming tenants, which was much +harder to deal with than stubborn unwillingness +to work for them would have been. +My assurances that one was an invalid and +the other a child only supplied him with +fresh forms of indirect attack. He was +surprised that I did not have one of the two +rooms on the ground-floor fitted up as a bedroom, +as invalids cannot walk up and down +stairs; he was kind enough to place in one +of the upper rooms, which he persisted in +calling 'the nursery,' a small wooden horse +of the primitive straight-legged kind, a penny +rattle, and a soft fluffy parrot; and when I +impatiently pitched the things out at the +door he seemed dismayed, and said 'he had +thought they would please the wee bairn.'</p> + +<p>That old beast took all the pleasure out of +the little excitement of furnishing. On the +morning after my return, he took care to +present to me the respectable Janet; he had,<span class="pagenum">[117]</span> +indeed, not overrated her magnificent lack +of meretricious charms; for in the wooden +face and hard blue eyes I recognised at once +the features of my faithful attendant, additional +wrinkles taking the place of the sabre-cut. +She was his mother. As, however, +neither made any reference to this fact, +I treated it as a family secret and made no +indiscreet inquiries.</p> + +<p>The eventful Friday came. I was in the +cottage as soon as it was light, making for +the last time the tour of the two bedrooms, +kitchen, and sitting-room, trying all the +windows to see that they were draught-tight, +passing my hands along the walls in +a futile attempt to find out if they were +damp. In the sitting-room I stayed a long +time, moving about the furniture, a second-hand +suite, covered with dark red reps; +I was disgusted with the mournful bareness +of the apartment, and wondered how I could<span class="pagenum">[118]</span> +have been so stupid as to forget that women +liked ornaments. I went back to my house +and ransacked it furtively for nicknacks, +without much success. First, I reviewed +the pictures: a regular bachelor's collection +they were, not objectionable from a man's +point of view, but for ladies——. No, the +pictures were hopeless, with the exception of +huge engravings, 'The Relief of Lucknow,' +and 'Queen Philippa Begging the Lives of +the Burgesses,' which, though perfectly innocuous +to a young girl's mind, were not +exhilarating to anybody's. Besides, fancy +being caught by Ferguson staggering under +the burden of those ponderous works of art! +I had not known before how meagre were +the appointments of my home; my five +years of wandering had given me a traveller's +indifference to all but necessaries, so +that, as I looked round the study, where I +spent nearly all the time that I passed<span class="pagenum">[119]</span> +indoors, I saw little that could be spared. +It was a comfortable-looking room enough, +with its three big windows, two looking +south over the terraced garden and the +wooded valley of the Muick, the remaining +one east over the lawn and the drive, and +more trees. The west wall of the room was +filled from floor to ceiling by book-shelves of +the plainest kind; these were filled, not with +the student's methodically-arranged collection +of sombre and well-worn volumes, not +with the 'gentleman's' suspiciously neat and +bright 'complete sets' in morocco and half-calf, +which to remove seems as improper as +to scrape off the wall-paper would be; but +with the oddest of odd lots of literary ware, +in a dozen languages, in all sizes and all +varieties of binding and lack of binding, no +two volumes of anything together, and not a +book that I didn't love among them, from +Montaigne, in dear dirty paper covers,<span class="pagenum">[120]</span> +hanging by a thread, to Thackeray in a +beastly <i>édition de luxe</i>.</p> + +<p>On the north wall was the fireplace—wide, +high, old-fashioned and warm—with a discoloured +white marble mantelpiece, decorated +with fat bewigged Georgian cupids. Above +it hung an old cavalry sword with which my +father had cut his way through the Russians +at Inkermann. Close to the fireplace, and +with its back to the book-shelves, stood my +own especial chair—big, roomy, well worn—covered +with dark red morocco, like the rest +of the furniture. A reading-table stood in +the corner beside it, and on the right hand +was a bigger table, piled high with books and +papers, cigars, bills and rubbish. There was +a writing-table in one corner, at which I never +wrote; a sofa covered with more literary +lumber; two cabinets crammed with curiosities +collected on my travels, tossed in with +little attempt at arrangement; a card-table on<span class="pagenum">[121]</span> +which stood a quantity of old-fashioned silver, +such as tall candlesticks, goblets, a punch-bowl +and a massive last-century urn. A +stuffed duck, a Dutch tankard, a pair of elk's +horns, and a bust of Dante surmounted by a +fox's brush, occupied the top of the book-shelves. +A high plain fourfold screen, as +dark as the rest of the time-worn furniture, +hid the door; and close to the screen a dog-kennel, +with the front taken out and replaced +by a strong iron grating, formed the winter +home of a large brown monkey, which I had +bought at a sale with the fascinating reputation +of being dangerous, but which had belied +its character by allowing me to bring it +home on my shoulders. To-to, so called +for no better reason than that my collie, +whose favourite resting-place was now well +defined on the goatskin hearthrug, was +named Ta-ta, had from our first introduction +treated me with such marked tolerance that<span class="pagenum">[122]</span> +I, in my loneliness, had begun to feel a sort of +superstitious fondness for the brute, and +fancied I saw more reason and affection in +his blinking brown eyes than in any of the +Scotch pebbles which served as organs of +vision to my Gaelic neighbours. When I +first bought him it was mild enough for him +to live in the yard; but when the weather +grew cold, and he was brought into the kitchen, +he got on so ill with the powers there +that I had to take compassion upon him and +them, and remove To-to to the study, where +he justified his promotion by the reserve and +gravity of his manners, his only marked foible +being a furious jealousy of Ta-ta, whose resting-place +was just beyond the utmost tether +of the monkey's chain. Rarely did an evening +pass without some skirmish between the two. +Perhaps Ta-ta, seeing me smile over the book +I was reading, and anxious to share my enjoyment, +even if she could not understand the<span class="pagenum">[123]</span> +joke, would incautiously get up and wag her +tail. Whereupon To-to would dash across +the hearthrug and assist her, and much unpleasantness +would follow, the dog barking, +the monkey chattering, the master swearing—all +three members of the menagerie trying +to come off conqueror in the <i>mêlée</i>. Or else +To-to would fall from the top of his kennel +to the floor, with a loud noise, and would lie +stiff and still on the rug, as if in a fit; and +then the simple Ta-ta would walk over to +investigate the case, and the monkey would +seize her ears and twist them round with jabbering +triumph. I kept a small whip to +separate the combatants on these occasions, +but I only dared use it very sparingly; as, +though its effect upon To-to's coarser nature +was salutary in the extreme in reducing him +to instant love and obedience, as the boot of +the costermonger does his wife, the gentler +Ta-ta would look up at me with such piteous<span class="pagenum">[124]</span> +protest in her dark eyes that I felt a brute for +the next half hour.</p> + +<p>From this room, the scene of most of my +domestic life, I took a pair of silver candlesticks +and a Dresden cup and saucer. Into +the unused drawing-room, which I had had +fitted up years ago in the Louis Quinze style, +I just peeped; but there was nothing very +tempting in white and gold curly-legged furniture +tied up in brown holland on a cold +polished floor, so I locked the door again, +and carried away my prizes to the cottage, +where they certainly improved the look of the +sitting-room mantelpiece.</p> + +<p>I had no sort of carriage more convenient +than a Norfolk-cart, so on my way to Aberdeen +I ordered a fly to be at Ballater Station +on my return with my new tenants. Both +the ladies were already dressed for their +journey, and we started at once, Mrs. Ellmer +hastening to inform me that she had sent<span class="pagenum">[125]</span> +most of her luggage to some friends in London, +to account, I fancy, poor lady, for having +only one shabby trunk and two stage baskets. +Babiole sat very quietly during the railway +journey, looking out of window at the now +dreary and bleak landscape; and I spoke so +little that any one might have thought I +would rather have been alone. But, indeed, +I was only afraid, from the happy excitement +which glowed in the faces of both talkative +mother and silent daughter, lest their bright +expectations should be disappointed by the +simplicity and desolation of the place they +persisted in regarding as a palace of delights.</p> + +<p>'It's a very homely place, you know,' I +said solemnly, after being bantered in a +sprightly manner by Mrs. Ellmer upon my +artfulness in building myself a fortress up in +the hills where, like the knights of old, I +could indulge in what lawless pranks I +pleased. 'And I assure you that nothing<span class="pagenum">[126]</span> +could possibly be more simple than my mode +of life there. Whatever of the bold bad +bandit there may have been in my composition +ten years back has been melted down +into mere harmless eccentricity long ago.'</p> + +<p>'Ah! you are not going to make me believe +that,' said Mrs. Ellmer, with a giddy +shake of the head. 'Why, the very name +Larkhall betrays you.'</p> + +<p>I believe the dear lady really did think the +name had been given in commemoration of +'high jinks' I had held there; but I hastened +to assure her that 'lark' was simply the +Highland pronunciation of 'larch,' a tree +which grew abundantly in the neighbourhood. +However, she only smiled archly, and seeing +that the imaginary iniquities she seemed bent +on imputing to me in no way lessened her +exuberant happiness in my society, I left my +character in her hands, with only a glance at +Babiole, who seemed, with her eyes fixed<span class="pagenum">[127]</span> +on the moving landscape, to be deaf to what +went on inside the carriage. I was rather +glad of it.</p> + +<p>When we got to Ballater the little shed of +a station was crowded by rough villagers, all +eagerly enjoying the splendid excitement of +the arrival of the train. A dense, wet Scotch +mist enveloped us as we stepped on to the +platform, chilled by our cold journey; still, +they both smiled with persistent happiness, +which grew rapturous when we all got into a +roomy fly which Mrs. Ellmer called 'your +carriage.' They were charmed with the village, +which looked, through the veil of fine +rain, a most depressing collection of stiff stone +and slate dwellings to my <i>blasé</i> eyes. They +were delighted with the cold and dreary +drive. They pronounced the dark fir-forest +through which we drove 'magnificent'; and, +finally, after a hushed and reverential silence +as we went through the plantation, both were<span class="pagenum">[128]</span> +transfixed with admiration at the sight of my +modest dwelling. Mrs. Ellmer even went so +far as to admire the 'fine rugged face' of +Ferguson, who was standing at the hall door +scowling his worst scowl. I did not risk an +encounter with him, but led the ladies straight +into the cottage, where a peat fire was glowing +in each of the lower rooms. We went +first into the sitting-room; a lighted lamp was +in the middle of the table, the tea-things were +at one end. I glanced from mother to daughter, +trying to read their first impression of +their new home. Mrs. Ellmer's eyes, sharpened +by sordid experience to hungry keenness, +took in every detail at once with critical satisfaction, +while her lips poured forth commonplaces +of vague delight. The climax of her +pleasure was the discovery of the cup and +saucer on the mantelpiece. By the way in +which her thin face lighted up I saw she was +a connoisseur. In looking at it she forgot<span class="pagenum">[129]</span> +me and for a moment paused in her enraptured +monologue.</p> + +<p>Babiole took it all differently. She +seemed to hold her breath as she looked +slowly round, as if determined to gaze on +everything long enough to be sure that it +was real; then, with a little sob, she turned +her head quickly, and her innocent eyes, +soft and bright with unspeakable gratitude, +fell on me.</p> + +<p>You must have been for years an object +of horror and loathing to your fellow-men to +know what that look, going straight from +soul to soul with no thought of the defects of +the bodily envelope, was to me. Perhaps it +was because my life had so long been barren +of all pleasures dependent on my fellow-creatures +that I could neither then, nor later +that evening when I was alone, recall any +sensation akin to its effect in sweetness or +vividness except the glow I had felt after<span class="pagenum">[130]</span> +Babiole's girlish confidence to me at the +door of the Aberdeen lodging. I suppose +I must have stood smiling at the child +with grotesque happiness, for Mrs. Ellmer, +turning from contemplation of the cup and +saucer, drew her thin lips together very +sourly.</p> + +<p>'And now I will leave you to your tea,' +said I hastily. 'I told Janet to put everything +ready for you.'</p> + +<p>'Thank you, Mr. Maude, you are too +good. We require no waiting on, I assure +you,' broke in Mrs. Ellmer, with rather tart +civility.</p> + +<p>'Oh no, I only told her to put the kettle +on in the kitchen,' I protested humbly. And, +with ceremonious hopes that they would be +comfortable, I retreated, Babiole giving my +fingers a warm-hearted squeeze when it came +to her turn to shake hands. The child was +following me to let me out when her mother<span class="pagenum">[131]</span> +interposed and came with me to the door +herself.</p> + +<p>She took my hand and held it while she +assured me that she was so much overpowered +by my distinguished kindness and +courtesy that I must excuse her if, in the +effort to express her feelings adequately, she +found herself without words. I'm sure I +wished she would, for she went on in the +same strain, making convulsive little clutches +at my fingers to emphasise her speech, until +both she and I began to shiver. She did +not let me go until Babiole appeared behind +her, flushed and smiling, in the little passage. +Then Mrs. Ellmer's fingers sprang up from +mine like an opened latch and, dismissed, I +raised my hat and hurried off.</p> + +<p>I had not gone half a dozen yards when I +met Janet on her way to the cottage; she +curtseyed and told me, in answer to my +question, that she was taking some tea<span class="pagenum">[132]</span> +to the ladies. After a moment's hesitation +I turned and followed her, proposing to +ask them whether they would like some +books.</p> + +<p>Janet opened the door quietly without +knocking, and went into the kitchen on the +left, while I stood on the rough fibre mat +outside the sitting-room, having grown +suddenly shy about intruding again. I +heard Babiole's clear childish voice.</p> + +<p>'Oh, mamma, if only papa doesn't find us +out, how happy we shall be here! Mr. +Maude is a good man, I am sure of it!'</p> + +<p>'As good as the rest of them, I daresay,' +answered her mother in tones of pure +vinegar. 'Understand, if you ever meet +him when I'm not with you, you are not +to speak to him. It makes me ill to look +at his hideous wicked face. There's someone +in the kitchen, run and see who it +is.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[133]</span></p> + +<p>And the poor Beast, thinking he had +heard enough, and afraid lest Beauty should +catch him eavesdropping, slunk away from +the door-mat and made his way home with +his tail between his legs.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep06.jpg" width="130" height="138" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[134]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch07.jpg" width="400" height="120" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII</h2> + +<p>Those unlucky few words that I had overheard +created a great breach between me +and my tenants, and, moreover, brought on +in the would-be philosopher a fit of misanthropical +melancholy. I could not get over +the poor little woman's cynical hypocrisy for +some days, during which I never went near +the cottage; and if I met either mother or +daughter in my walks or rides, I contented +myself with raising my hat ceremoniously, +and giving them as brief a glimpse of my +'wicked hideous face' as possible. Ha! +ha! I would show them whether or not I +was dependent on their society, and how<span class="pagenum">[135]</span> +much of selfish libertinism there had been +in my wish to house them comfortably for +the winter; a pair of idiots!</p> + +<p>But this noble pride wore itself out in a +fortnight, at the end of which time I began +to think it was I who was the idiot, to +nourish resentment against a pair of helpless +creatures who, too poor to refuse an offer +which saved them from brutality and starvation, +had seen enough of the dark side of +human nature to put small faith in disinterested +motives, and had no weapon but +their own wits wherewith to fight their natural +enemy—man. Besides, my solitude had +grown ten times more solitary now that, +sitting alone in my study at night, with To-to +languidly stretching himself on the kennel +in front of me, paying no attention to +me whatever, and Ta-ta, who really had +capacities for sympathy, lying asleep on the +rug at my feet, I knew that, not a hundred<span class="pagenum">[136]</span> +yards away, there were slender women's +forms flitting about, and girlish prattle going +on, by a little modest fireside that was a +home.</p> + +<p>So I suddenly remembered that I ought to +call and ask them if they found their new +home to their liking. Anxious, for the first +time for five years, to make the best of a bad +business, so far as my person was concerned, +I exchanged the coarse tweed Norfolk suit I +usually wore for a black coat and gray +trousers I used to wear in town, which, +though doubtless a little old-fashioned in cut, +might reasonably be supposed to pass muster +in the wilds, and even to give me a rather +dashing appearance. But, alas! It did not. +It showed me, on the contrary, how far I had +slipped away from civilisation. My hair was +too long, what complexion I had left too +weather-beaten, while the seamed and scarred +right side of my face looked more hideous<span class="pagenum">[137]</span> +than ever. I changed back quickly to my +usual coat, scarcely acknowledging to myself +that some sort of vague wish to live once +more the life of other men was disappointed.</p> + +<p>I found Mrs. Ellmer and her daughter in +their outdoor dress; they had been driven in +by a snow shower, one of the first of the +season. The sitting-room looked now cosy +and habitable, if a little untidy, the habits of +the touring actress being still manifest in a +collection of unframed cabinet photographs—not +all uncalculated to bring a blush to the +Presbyterian cheek—which stood in a row on +the mantelpiece. It occurred to me that old +Janet might have let out the fact that I +turned back with her to the cottage and, +perhaps, overheard something to my disadvantage, +for Babiole looked frightened and +shy, and Mrs. Ellmer's manner was almost +apologetically humble. There was constraint +enough upon us all for me to make my visit<span class="pagenum">[138]</span> +very short, but as I left I formally invited +them to dine with me on the following +evening.</p> + +<p>With what shamefaced <i>nonchalance</i> I told +Ferguson that day to have the drawing-room +opened and cleaned on the following morning! +With what stolid lowering resignation he +extracted my reason for this unparalleled +order! However, he made no protest. But +next morning, while I was at breakfast, he +entered the room in his usual clockwork +manner, but with a glow of pleasurable +feeling in his cold eyes.</p> + +<p>'If you please, sir, Janet would be obliged if +you would step into the drawing-room and see +if you would still wish to have it prepared for +the party this evening.'</p> + +<p>Party! I could have broken his neck. +But I only followed him in an easy manner +into the hall. It was full of blinding smoke, +which was pouring forth from the open door<span class="pagenum">[139]</span> +of the drawing-room. I dashed heroically +into the apartment, only to be met with a +denser cloud, which rushed into my mouth +and made my eyes smart and burn. Some +winged thing, either a bird or a bat, flapped +against the walls and ceiling in the gloom. +Janet was choking at the fireplace, in great +danger of being smothered.</p> + +<p>'What is all this?' I choked angrily, +getting back into the hall.</p> + +<p>'Nothing, sir,' answered Ferguson, with +grim delight. 'Nothing but that Janet lit +the fire to air the room in obedience to your +orders, and that the chimney smokes a little. +Would you still wish to have the room got +ready, sir?'</p> + +<p>But he had gone too far; he had roused +the lion.</p> + +<p>'Come in here,' I said, in a tone which +subdued his happiness; and he followed me +back into the room. 'Now t-t-take the tongs,'<span class="pagenum">[140]</span> +I continued, as haughtily as coughing would +permit, 'and r-ram it up the chimney.'</p> + +<p>Cowed, but exceedingly reluctant, he +obeyed, and I would not let him relax his +efforts until, smothered with soot and dust, +dry twigs and blackened snow, he pulled +down upon himself a sack, a couple of birds'-nests, +and other obstacles which, some from +above and some from below, had been +deposited in the unused chimney.</p> + +<p>'Now,' said I, purple in the face but content, +'you can relight the fire.'</p> + +<p>And, satisfied with this moral victory and +the prestige it gave me in the eyes of the +whole household—for Tim and the outdoor +genius who gardened twelve acres and +looked after four horses had both enjoyed +this domestic scandal from the doorway—I +marched back to my cold coffee and congealed +bacon.</p> + +<p>There were no more difficulties, though,<span class="pagenum">[141]</span> +at least none worth mentioning. It is true +that on returning from my morning's ride I +found the hall so stuffed up with furniture +that I had to enter my residence through +one of the study windows, five feet from the +ground; and that I had to picnic on a +sandwich in the study instead of lunching +decorously in the dining-room; but these +discomforts might be necessary to a thorough +cleaning, and could be borne with fortitude. +At six o'clock my guests arrived, and, having +left their cloaks in a spare-room opened for +the occasion, they were led to shiver in the +drawing-room, which still smelt of smoke and +soap and water. Mrs. Ellmer, with chattering teeth, +admired the painted ceiling, the +white satin chairs bright with embossed roses, +the pale screen, and all the fanciful glories of +the room, the magnificence of which evidently +impressed and delighted her. Babiole seemed +unable to take her eyes off two oil-paintings,<span class="pagenum">[142]</span> +both portraits of the same lady, which, in +massive gilt oval frames, occupied a prominent +position at the end of the room +opposite the fireplace.</p> + +<p>'Babiole is fascinated, you see, Mr. +Maude,' said her mother, with the little +affected laugh which gave less the idea of +pleasure than that of a wish to please. 'If +she dared she would ask who those ladies +are.'</p> + +<p>'They are both the same, mother,' said +Babiole, so softly, so shyly, that one could +think she guessed there was some story +about the portraits.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer's eyes began to beam with +a less artless curiosity.</p> + +<p>'Would it be indiscreet to ask her name?'</p> + +<p>'Her name was Helen.'</p> + +<p>'Ah, poor lady! She is dead, then?'</p> + +<p>'No, I believe she is alive.'</p> + +<p>Babiole glanced quickly from the pictures<span class="pagenum">[143]</span> +to my face and pressed her mother's hand, as +that lady was about to burst forth into more +questions. I don't know that my countenance +expressed much, for my feelings on +the subject of the original of the portrait had +long ceased to be keen; but I think the little +one, being very young, liked to make as +much as possible out of any suggestion of a +romance. I took the girl by the arm and +led her to the end of the room, where the +portraits hung.</p> + +<p>'Now,' said I, 'which of these two +pictures do you like best?'</p> + +<p>Babiole instantly assumed the enormous +seriousness of a child who is honoured with a +genuine appeal to its taste. After a few +moments' grave comparison of the pictures, +she turned to me, with the face of a fairy +judge, and asked solemnly—</p> + +<p>'Do you mean which should I love best, or +which do I admire most as a work of art?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[144]</span></p> + +<p>This altogether unexpected question, which +came so quaintly from the childish lips, made +me laugh. Babiole turned from me to the +pictures, rather disconcerted, and Mrs. Ellmer +broke in with her sharp high voice—</p> + +<p>'Babiole understands pictures; she has +had a thorough art education from her father, +Mr. Maude.'</p> + +<p>'Oh yes,' said I, wondering vaguely why +mothers always show up so badly beside their +daughters. Then I turned again to the girl. +'I didn't know how clever you were, Miss +Babiole. Supposing I had two friends, one +who had known this lady and loved her, and +the other who was a great art collector. +Which portrait would each like best?'</p> + +<p>Babiole decided without hesitation. 'The +art collector would like this one, and the one +who had loved her would like that,' she +said, indicating each with the glance of her +eyes.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[145]</span></p> + +<p>'But the art collector's is the prettier face +of the two,' I objected.</p> + +<p>'Yes; but it isn't so good.'</p> + +<p>I was astonished and fascinated by the +quickness of the girl's perception.</p> + +<p>'You ought to grow into an artist,' I said, +smiling. 'The pretty one was in the Academy +this year, painted by a famous artist. I heard +it was a wonderful portrait, and I commissioned +a man to buy it for me. The other is +an enlargement, by an unknown artist, from +half a dozen old photographs and sketches, +of the same lady five years ago.'</p> + +<p>'And is it exactly like her—like what she +was, I mean?'</p> + +<p>'No; she was prettier, but not so—good.'</p> + +<p>I used the word 'good' because she had +used it, though it was not the word I should +have chosen. I wanted her to say something +more, for she was still looking at the pictures +in a very thoughtful way; but at that<span class="pagenum">[146]</span> +moment Mrs. Ellmer, skipping lightly along +the polished floor in a way that made me +tremble for her balance, thrust her head between +us, and laid her pointed chin on her +daughter's shoulder.</p> + +<p>'And what are you two so deeply interested +about?' she asked playfully.</p> + +<p>Babiole put her tender little cheek lovingly +against her mother's thin face, and I began +talking about art in a vague and ignorant +manner, which incautiously showed that I +disliked the interruption. Ferguson came to +my rescue with the solemn announcement of +dinner.</p> + +<p>From Mrs. Ellmer's rather critical attitude +towards the different dishes, I gathered +that she prided herself on her own cookery, +and Babiole ingenuously let out that mamma +had once superintended a very grand dinner +of some friends of theirs—'Oh, such rich +people!'—and it had been a great success.<span class="pagenum">[147]</span> +Mamma seemed a little uneasy at this indiscretion, +but hastened to add that they were +such dear friends of hers that when they were +left in a difficulty by the sudden illness of +their man-cook—a man who had been in the +first families, and had come to them from +Lord Stonehaven's—she had overwhelmed +them by the offer of her services.</p> + +<p>'I think all ladies should learn cooking, +Mr. Maude; and, indeed, many do now. +The lessons are very expensive, certainly; +but one never regrets either the time or the +money when it is once learned,' said she. +'Servants never understand how things +ought to be done unless there is some one +able to give them a little guidance.'</p> + +<p>To all this conversation Ferguson listened +with the amiability of an enraged bear restrained +by iron bars from making a meal of +his tormentors.</p> + +<p>Babiole had little attention to spare for<span class="pagenum">[148]</span> +any one but Ta-ta, with whom she had struck +up a rapidly ripening friendship.</p> + +<p>'Ta-ta has taken a fancy to you,' I said, +smiling. 'She always likes the people I +like,' I added, with the common fatuity of +owners of pet animals.</p> + +<p>Upon this Mrs. Ellmer piped out 'Ta-ta, +Ta-ta, Ta-ta!' until, to stop her, I beckoned +the dog to her side of the table. But the +collie, seeing that she had nothing better +than a raisin to offer, merely sniffed at it, +avoided the threatened caress, and slunk +back to her old place by Babiole, in whose +lap she rested her head contentedly.</p> + +<p>While her mother was still laughing shrilly +at this misadventure, the child asked if they +might see my monkey.</p> + +<p>'Shall I take you to my study now,' said +I, 'and show you how an old bachelor passes +his evenings?'</p> + +<p>'Is the monkey fond of you too, Mr.<span class="pagenum">[149]</span> +Maude?' asked Babiole, as I opened the +door for them.</p> + +<p>'I flatter myself that he is. At least I +can boast that he flies at any one whom he +suspects of doing me harm. Two months +ago a doctor was attending me for a swelling +on my neck. He came day after day, and +To-to treated him with all the courtesy due +to an honoured guest, until he decided one +day that the swelling ought to be lanced, and +took from his pocket a case of instruments. +He had scarcely opened it when To-to, +chattering and grimacing, sprang across the +hearthrug with such violence that he broke +his chain, and fastened his teeth in the +doctor's hand.'</p> + +<p>'What a savage brute!' exclaimed Mrs. +Ellmer.</p> + +<p>Babiole thought it out as we crossed the +hall, and then spoke gravely—</p> + +<p>'But the monkey was wrong, for the<span class="pagenum">[150]</span> +doctor never meant to hurt you,' she said, +in her deliberate way.</p> + +<p>'I suppose you gave him a good beating,' +said Mrs. Ellmer.</p> + +<p>'No, I didn't. I scolded him till we were +alone together, for the sake of the doctor's +feelings. But when he was gone I sneaked +up to To-to's kennel and stroked him and +gave him a beautiful bone. The scolding +was for the mistake, you know, and the bone +for the devotion.'</p> + +<p>We entered the study, Mrs. Ellmer first, +I last. The alarmed lady, on coming round +the screen, was close to the monkey before +she saw him. To-to only blinked up at her +composedly, with no demonstration of hostility; +but to my horror and amazement, no +sooner did he catch sight of Babiole, who +came up to him bravely by my side, with her +little hand cordially outstretched towards him, +than he made a savage spring at her, his<span class="pagenum">[151]</span> +teeth and eyes gleaming with malice. I was +just in time to draw her back in my arms, so +that he fell to the ground instead of fastening +on her poor little wrist. Mrs. Ellmer +screamed, Ta-ta began to bark and make +judiciously-distanced rushes at the monkey; +while Babiole recovered herself, very pale, +but quite quiet, and I, strangely excited, gave +To-to a sharp blow.</p> + +<p>'Oh, don't!' cried the child; but then, +smiling archly, though the colour driven +away by the little fright had not yet come +back to her cheek, she added, 'but you will +give him a bone as a reward when we are +gone.'</p> + +<p>'Do you think so?' said I, in a rather +constrained voice. Then, seeing that Mrs. +Ellmer's eyes were fixed curiously upon me, +I added, 'The first mistake, you see, was +excusable; there was a reason for it. But +this attack was unprovoked.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[152]</span></p> + +<p>'Yes,' said Babiole naïvely; 'for how +could I do you any harm?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, how indeed?' said I.</p> + +<p>But even as I said this, and looked at her +blue-eyed face, I thought that perhaps the +monkey might prove to be wiser than either +of us, unless I grew wiser as she grew older.</p> + +<p>The rest of the evening passed pleasantly +enough in the ransacking of my cabinets of +curiosities; Mrs. Ellmer, who proved to be +a connoisseur of more things than china, +took delight in the value of the treasures +themselves, while Babiole pleased herself +with such as she thought beautiful, and enjoyed +particularly the stories I told about the +places I had found them in, and the ways in +which I had picked them up. She grew +radiant over the present of a Venetian bead +necklace, such as can be bought in the Burlington +Arcade for a few shillings; but when +I told her it was a souvenir from a woman<span class="pagenum">[153]</span> +whose child I had saved from drowning, her +joy in her new treasure was suddenly turned +to reverence. How did I do it? It was a +very simple story; a little boy of four or five +had slipped into one of the canals, and I, +passing in a gondola, had caught his clothes, +or rather his rags, and handed the choking +squalling manikin back into the custody of a +black-eyed, brown-skinned woman, who had +insisted, with impulsive but coquettish gratitude, +on presenting me with the beads she +wore round her own neck.</p> + +<p>'Wasn't she in rags, too, then?' asked +Babiole.</p> + +<p>'Oh no, she was rather picturesquely got +up.'</p> + +<p>'Then, I should think, she was not his +mother at all.'</p> + +<p>'Perhaps not. But all mothers are not +like yours.'</p> + +<p>'I <i>know</i> that,' cooed the girl, tucking her<span class="pagenum">[154]</span> +hand lovingly under the maternal arm. +Then, after a pause, she said, 'What a lot +of nice places and people you must have +seen in all the years you have travelled +about, Mr. Maude.'</p> + +<p>'How old do you think I am, then?' I +asked, struck by something in her tone.</p> + +<p>She hesitated, looking shyly from me to +her mother.</p> + +<p>'No, no,' said I. 'Tell me what you +think yourself.'</p> + +<p>She glanced at me again, then suggested +in a small voice, 'sixty?'</p> + +<p>Both Mrs. Ellmer and I began to laugh; +and the child, blushing, rubbed her cheek +against her mother's sleeve.</p> + +<p>'How much would you take off from that, +Mrs. Ellmer?'</p> + +<p>'Why, I'm sure you can't be a day more +than forty-five.'</p> + +<p>She evidently thought I should be pleased<span class="pagenum">[155]</span> +by this, the good lady flattering herself that +she had taken off at least five years. My +first impulse was to set them right rather +indignantly, but the next moment I remembered +that I should gain nothing but a character +for mendacity by telling them that I +should not be thirty till next year. So I +only laughed again, and then Babiole's voice +broke in apologetically.</p> + +<p>'I only guessed what I did, Mr. Maude, +because you are so very kind; you seem +always trying to do good to some one.'</p> + +<p>'Here's a subtle and cynical little observer +for you,' said I, glancing over the child's head +at the mother. 'She knows, you see, that +benevolence is the last of the emotions, and +is only tried as a last resource when we have +used up all the others.'</p> + +<p>Babiole looked much astonished at this +interpretation, which she understood very +imperfectly, and Mrs. Ellmer shook her head<span class="pagenum">[156]</span> +in arch rebuke as she rose to go. They went +upstairs together to put on their cloaks, but +Babiole came flying down before her mother +to have a last peep at the portraits which had +fascinated her. I followed her into the drawing-room, +where lamp and fire were still burning, +and she started and turned as she saw +my reflection in the long glass which hung +between the pictures.</p> + +<p>'Well, are you as happy at the cottage as +you thought you would be?' I asked.</p> + +<p>'Oh, happier, a thousand times. It is too +good to last,' with a frightened sigh.</p> + +<p>'Don't you miss the constant change of +your travelling life, and the excitement of +acting?'</p> + +<p>She seemed scarcely to understand me at +first, as she repeated, in a bewildered manner, +'excitement!' Then she said simply, 'It's +very exciting when you miss the train and +the company go on without you; but it's<span class="pagenum">[157]</span> +dreadful, too, because the manager might +telegraph to say you needn't come on at +all'.</p> + +<p>'But the acting; isn't that exciting?'</p> + +<p>'It's nice, sometimes, when one has a part +one likes; but, of course, I only got small +parts, and it's dreadful to have to go on with +nothing to say, or for an executioner, or an +old woman, with just a line.'</p> + +<p>'And don't you like travelling?'</p> + +<p>'I like it sometimes in the summer; but +in the winter it's so cold, and the places all +seem alike; and then the pantomime season +comes, and you have nothing to do.'</p> + +<p>'What do you do then? What did you +do last winter, for instance?'</p> + +<p>'We went back to London.'</p> + +<p>'Well?'</p> + +<p>But Babiole had grown suddenly shy.</p> + +<p>'Won't you tell me? Would you rather +not?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[158]</span></p> + +<p>'I would rather not.'</p> + +<p>At that moment Mrs. Ellmer's voice was +heard calling, in sharp tones, for 'Babiole!'</p> + +<p>'Here we are, Mrs. Ellmer, taking a last +look at the pictures,' I called back, and I led +the child out into the hall, where her mother +gave a sharp glance from her to me, and +wished me good-night rather curtly. I stood +at the door to watch them on their way to +the cottage, as they would not accept my +escort; and through the keen air I distinctly +heard this question and answer—</p> + +<p>'You want to get us turned out, to spend +another winter like the last, I suppose. What +did you tell him about your father?'</p> + +<p>'Nothing, mother, nothing, indeed!——'</p> + +<p>The rest of the child's passionate answer +I could not catch, as they went farther away. +But I wondered what the secret was that I +had been so near learning.</p> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[159]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch08.jpg" width="400" height="124" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII</h2> + +<p>I enjoyed that evening so much that I was +quite ready to go through another preparatory +penance of smoking chimneys and +general topsyturveydom to have another like +it. But Fate and Ferguson ruled otherwise. +I mentioned to him one day that I +proposed inviting the ladies again for the +following evening, and he said nothing; but +when I made a state call on Mrs. Ellmer that +afternoon, she brought forward all sorts of +unexpected excuses to avoid the visit. Circumstances +had made me too diffident to +press the point, and I had to conclude, with +much mortification, that the sight of my ugly<span class="pagenum">[160]</span> +face for a whole evening had been too distressing +to their artistic eyes for them to +undergo such a trial again. They, however, +invited me to dine with them on Christmas +Day, but I was too much hurt to accept the +invitation. It was not until long afterwards +I found out that, on learning my intention of +giving another 'party,' my faithful Ferguson +had posted off to the cottage and informed +Mrs. Ellmer that his poor mother was so ill +she could scarcely keep on her legs, and now +master had ordered another 'turn out,' and +he expected it would 'do for her' altogether. +I only knew, then, that when I told him +there was to be no 'party,' his wooden face +relaxed into a faint but happy smile, and that +my feet ached to kick him.</p> + +<p>That winter was what we called mild up +there, and it passed most uneventfully for +my tenants and for me. We saw very little +of each other since that chill to our friendship;<span class="pagenum">[161]</span> +but I soon began to find that the little +pale woman, who was too acid to excite as +much liking as she did pity and respect, had +no idea of allowing the obligations between +us to lie all on one side. Under the masculine +<i>régime</i> which had flourished in my +household before the irruption of Mrs. +Ellmer, her daughter and Janet, the art of +mending had been unknown and ignored, +and the science of cleaning my study had +been neglected. With regard to my own +raiment, the Brass Age, or age of pins, +succeeded the Bone Age, or age of buttons, +with unfailing regularity; and when, with +Janet, the Steel Age, or age of needles came +in, I sometimes thought I should prefer to +go back to primitive barbarism and holes in +my stockings rather than hobble about with +large lumps of worsted thread at the corners +of my toes,—which was the best result of a +process which the old lady called 'darning.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[162]</span></p> + +<p>The road to Ballater was for weeks impassable +with snowdrifts; no possibility of +replenishing one's wardrobe even from the +village's meagre resources. At last, being +by this time lamer than any pilgrim, I boldly +cut out the lumps in my stockings, and thereby +enlarged the holes. This flying in the +face of Providence must have been an awful +shock to Janet, for she related it to Mrs. +Ellmer with some acrimony; the result of +this was that the active little woman overhauled +my wardrobe, and everything else in +my house that was in need of repair by the +needle; she tried her hand successfully at +some amateur tailoring; she hunted out +some old curtains, and by a series of wonderful +processes, which she assured me were +very simple, transformed them from crumpled +rags into very handsome tapestry hangings +for a draughty corner of my study; she +carried off my old silver, piece by piece, and<span class="pagenum">[163]</span> +polished it up until, instead of wearing the +mouldy rusty hue of long neglect, it brightened +the whole room with its glistening +whiteness. I believe this last work was a +sacred pleasure to her; Babiole said her +mother cooed over the tankards and embraced +the punch-bowl. The way that woman +made old things look like new savoured of +sorcery to the obtuse male mind. Ferguson +would take each transfigured article, neatly +patched tablecloth, worn skin rug, combed +and cleaned to look like new, or whatever it +might be, and hold it at arm's length, squinting +horribly the while, and then, with a sigh +of dismay at the disappearance of the old +familiar rents, cast it from him in disgust. +The climax of his rage was reached when, +one evening at dinner, surprised by an unusually +savoury dish, I sent a message of congratulation +to Janet. Like a Northern +Mephistopheles, his eyes flashed fire.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[164]</span></p> + +<p>'I didna know, sir, ye were so partial to +kickshaws,' he said haughtily, with the strong +Scotch accent into which, on his return to his +native hills, he had allowed himself to relapse.</p> + +<p>I saw that I had made some fearful +blunder, and said no more; but I afterwards +learned from Babiole, as a great secret, that +her mother had prevailed upon Janet to +yield up her daily duties as cook as far as +my dinner was concerned; and my heart +began to melt and soften as the winter wore +on, towards the strictly anonymous little chef +who had delivered me from the binding +tyranny of haggis and cock-a-leekie.</p> + +<p>When the snow melted away from all but +the tops of the hills, and there came fresh +little sprouts of pale green among the dark +feather foliage of the larches, a change came +over the tiny household of my tenants. +From early morning until the sun began +to sink low behind the hills Babiole was<span class="pagenum">[165]</span> +never to be found at the cottage. Sometimes, +indeed, she would dash in at midday +to dinner, as fresh and sweet as an opening +rose; but more often she would stay away +until evening began to creep on, taking with +her a most frugal meal of a couple of sandwiches +and a piece of shortbread. Even +that was shared with Ta-ta, whom I encouraged +to attend the venturesome little maiden +on her long rambles; the dog would follow +her now as willingly as she did me, and could +be fierce enough upon occasion to prove a +far from despicable bodyguard; while I +generally contrived to be about the grounds +somewhere when she started, and, having +noted the direction she took, I went that +way for my morning ride. Often I passed +them on the road, the girl walking at a sort +of dance, the dog leaping and springing +about her. At sight of me, Ta-ta would +rush to her master, barking with joy; then,<span class="pagenum">[166]</span> +seeing that I would not take the only sensible +course of allowing her to follow both her +favourites together, she would run from the +one to the other, in delirious perplexed +excitement, until by a few words and gestures +I let her know that her duty was with the +beauty and not the beast.</p> + +<p>Sometimes I would see the two climbing +up a hill together, the collie not more sure-footed +than the child. Sometimes as I passed +there would be a great waving of handkerchief +and wagging of tail from some high +cairn, to show me triumphantly how much +more they dared than I, trotting on composedly +some hundreds of feet below. I was +always rather uneasy for the child, wandering +to these lonely heights and along such +unfrequented roads without any companion +but the dog; but her mother, with the odd +inconsistency which breaks out in the best of +us, could fear no danger to the girl from<span class="pagenum">[167]</span> +coarse peasant or steep cliff, while against +the wiles of the well-dressed she put her +strictly on her guard. As for the child herself, +I could only tell her to be careful of +her footing on rugged Craigendarroch, the +nearest, the prettiest, the most dangerous of +our higher hills: to tell her not to wander +whithersoever her fancy led her would have +been like warning a star not to mount so +high in the sky.</p> + +<p>Then as evening fell and I began, like +any old woman, to grow anxious, I would +hear Ta-ta's tired step in the hall outside +my study, and a scratching at my door which +gave place to a piteous sniffing and whining +if I did not immediately rise to let her in. +Then with a gentle wag of the tail she would +trot up to the hearthrug and lie down, giving +a sideways glance at To-to, who would hop +down from his perch and make a grab at +her tail to punish her for gadding about, and,<span class="pagenum">[168]</span> +finding that appendage out of reach, would +sneak quietly back again and resume his +hunt for the flea who would never be caught, +to try to persuade us that his fruitless attempt +had been a mere inadvertency. How hard +Ta-ta would try, when a nice plate of gristle +and potato at dinner time had revived her +flagging energies, to describe to me the +events of the morning's walk! And how +the sound of a bright childish laugh from the +kitchen would stimulate her remembrance of +that jolly run up-hill! I knew, though I +said nothing, that Babiole used to come +across to find her mother, busy with my +dinner; and I could guess, from the altercations +I often heard, that the hungry girl +stole her share, and laughed at any one who +said her nay. The dining-room always grew +too hot when that bright laughter penetrated +to my ears, and I would say carelessly to +Ferguson<span class="pagenum">[169]</span>—</p> + +<p>'You can leave the door open.'</p> + +<p><i>He</i> knew, you may be sure, why I liked +to sit in a draught while March winds were +about; but the stern Scot, however much he +might still cherish enmity against the diabolical +cleverness of the mother, had had a +corner of his flinty heart pulverised by the +blooming child.</p> + +<p>And so the cold spring passed into cool +summer, and I began to notice, little as I saw +of her, a change in the pretty maiden. As +the season advanced, her vivacity seemed to +subside a little, her dancing walk to give place +to a more sedate step, while her rambles were +often now limited to a climb up Craigendarroch, +which formerly would have been a +mere incident in the day's proceedings. I +remarked upon this to Mrs. Ellmer; for she +and I had now, in our loneliness, become +great chums.</p> + +<p>'Oh, don't you know?' said she, with<span class="pagenum">[170]</span> +her grating little laugh, 'Babiole's in +love!'</p> + +<p>'In love!' said I slowly. 'A child like +that!'</p> + +<p>'Oh, it's not a first attachment by any +means,' said she, making merry over my surprise, +as she swung her little watering-pot +with one hand, and put her head on one side +to admire a row of handsome gladioluses +which she had reared with some care. 'Her +first, what you may call serious passion, was +at seven years old, two whole years later than +my earliest love. By the bye, Mr. Maude, I +really must beg you to let me make some cuttings +from your rose-trees; I have two excellent +briars here, and I flatter myself I can +graft as well as any gardener.'</p> + +<p>'You can do everything, Mrs. Ellmer,' +said I gravely, with honest gratitude and +admiration. 'You can make cuttings from +every tree in the garden, if you please, and<span class="pagenum">[171]</span> +they will all hold their heads the higher for +it.'</p> + +<p>The poor lady liked a little bit of simple +flattery, and indeed it by no means now seemed +out of place. The Highland air had brought +the pink colour back to her wan face, and +brightened her eyes, so that one now noticed +with admiration the extreme delicacy of her +features; while the rest and the relief from +worry had softened both her careworn expression +and the haggard outline of her face. +She now, with coquettish sprightliness, tapped +my shoulder and shook her head to show me +that she had no faith in my blandishments.</p> + +<p>'Don't talk to me,' she said, but with a +smile which contradicted the prohibition; +'I'm too old for compliments, a woman with +a grown-up daughter!'</p> + +<p>Now I was quite glad to go back to the +subject suggested by her last words.</p> + +<p>'Who is the happy object of the young<span class="pagenum">[172]</span> +lady's preference?' I asked, trying to speak +in a tone of badinage, though indeed I thought +Babiole much too young and too pretty to +bestow even the most make-believe affection +on any one north o' Tweed, or south of it +either, for that matter.</p> + +<p>'It's one of the young Duncans, at Fir +Lodge; the pretty-looking lad with the curly +fair hair.'</p> + +<p>I gave a little 'hoch!' of disgust. A great +freckle-faced lout of a boy—I knew him! I +remembered, too, that the Duncans had joined +heartily in a scandalised murmur, far-off +sounds of which had reached my ears, at the +enormity of my bringing play-acting folk to +my Highland seraglio. With very few more +words I left Mrs. Ellmer, more put out than +I cared to show. However, after looking +angrily at the rhododendrons in the drive for +a little while, I happily remembered that the +annual visit of my four oddly-assorted friends<span class="pagenum">[173]</span> +was due within a month, and that then I +should have something more interesting to +occupy my mind than the flirtations of a couple +of children. 'And after that,' I said to myself, +'I think I shall set off on my wanderings +again for a little while, and the Ellmers can +remain here until they, too, are tired of it, and +so we shall avoid any wrench over the break-up.' +That the break-up must come I knew, +and, on the whole, I felt that it had better +come early than late—for me, at any rate.</p> + +<p>I climbed up Craigendarroch next day, +and every day for a week after; I never met +any one, and every time I was alarmed by +the steepness of those rocks to the south, +where a poor young fellow who was out fern-hunting +fell down the perpendicular cliff one +summer's day, and was found a shapeless, +lifeless heap four days after on the side of the +hill. He was a stranger, and might have lain +there till his bones whitened on the rocks and<span class="pagenum">[174]</span> +ferns among the young oak-trees, if a couple +of Ballater lads had not stumbled upon his +body in their Sunday walk, and called out all +the village to see the sight. And these made +the most of the excitement in a singular way, +holding a highly decorous and Presbyterian +wake, settling themselves in a business-like +manner like a flock of crows on the broken +ground around the stone on which the dead +man, scarcely more silent and unconcerned +than they, held his mournful levee. This +incident had already given a tragic interest +to the south side of the pretty hill; and +although Babiole knew the place well, and +was as sure-footed and nimble as one of its +native squirrels, I felt anxious every day +when there was no answer to my call of +'Ta-ta! Ta-ta!' and was not satisfied until +I had made the circuit of the hill, pushed my +way through the barriers of uprooted firs with +which the gales of early spring had encumbered<span class="pagenum">[175]</span> +the hillside on the north, and going on +in that direction, came to the bare and almost +precipitous slope which forms the southern +wall of the Pass of Ballater.</p> + +<p>On my eighth visit I heard a faint bark +from the ridge of hill to the north-west of the +pass; considering this as a clue, I made my +way down Craigendarroch, across the meadows +round Mona House, a white building of +simplest architecture, flanked by a garden +where straight rows of bright flowers looked +quaintly picturesque against a dark background +of fir and hill. Crossing the road +which ran at the foot of the ridge, I began +to climb. A rough steep path had here been +worn among the bracken, and was widened +at every ascent by falls of loose soil and +stones. I knew what a pretty little nook +there was at the top, just the place where a +lovelorn maid would delight to make a nest. +The path grew steeper than ever towards the<span class="pagenum">[176]</span> +top, and led suddenly to a grassy hollow, one +wall of which was a perpendicular gray cliff, +broken by narrow and inaccessible ridges on +which slender little birch-trees contrived to +grow. On the opposite side the mossy +ground sloped gently, and the wild rabbits +scurried about among the stumps of fallen +pines.</p> + +<p>I had only gone a few steps along the soft +ground when I caught the sound of a light +girlish voice; it came from the miniature +chasm at the foot of the cliff. I wondered +who the child was talking to. But as I came +nearer, hearing no voice but hers, I supposed +she must be reading aloud.</p> + +<p>'Oh no, Roderick,' at last I was close +enough to hear, 'I love you passionately, with +the love one knows but once. But it is impossible +for me to do as you wish. You +speak to me of your father; you urge upon +me that he would forgive my lowly birth, that<span class="pagenum">[177]</span> +he would welcome to his ancestral halls the +woman of your choice, whoever she might +be. But do not forget that I too have pride, +that I too have a duty to perform to my +parents.' Then came a change of tone, and +a sort of practical parenthesis, hurried through +quickly like a stage direction: 'I don't mean +my father of course, because he was so clever +that he had to think of his art and wasn't like +a father at all.' Then her tone became sentimental +again: 'But my mother—mamma is +worthy to have all the wealth of kings +showered at her feet. She is beautiful, and +clever, and good; Mr. Maude—indeed everybody, +admires and loves her. No, Roderick, +I will not allow my mother to become a mere +mother-in-law.'</p> + +<p>The bathos of the conclusion upset my +gravity; I came close to the edge of the pit +and looked down. The little maid was not +<span class="pagenum">[178]</span>reading, but was sitting by herself on a tree-trunk +among the stones, with the dog asleep +on the edge of her frock, living in a world of +her own, and holding converse with the people +there. I crept away as quietly as I could and +went back home in an amused but rather rapturous +state: the next time I saw my goddess, +though, she was devouring slice after slice of +bread and jam with prosaic ravenousness at +the kitchen door.</p> + +<p>And I concluded that at fourteen, even +with a face like a flower and a voice like a +bird's, 'the love one knows but once' and +perfect peace of mind are not incompatible +things.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep08.jpg" width="130" height="122" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[179]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch09.jpg" width="400" height="113" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER IX</h2> + +<p>It was Fabian Scott who, being by his profession +less of a free agent than any other +member of my little circle of friends, fixed the +date of their yearly visit. As soon as he made +known to me the first day when he would be +free, I summoned the rest, and not one of +them had ever yet failed me. Fabian wrote +to me this year, giving the fifteenth of +August as the day on which the closing of +the theatre at which he was playing would +leave him free.</p> + +<p>The news of the expected arrivals quickly +reached the ears of Mrs. Ellmer, who came +skipping along the garden towards me one<span class="pagenum">[180]</span> +morning about a week before the visit, and +attacked me at once with much vivacity.</p> + +<p>'Aha!' she began, 'and so we were to be +left in ignorance of the gay doings, were +we?'</p> + +<p>'If you allude to the meeting of half a +dozen old fogeys on the fifteenth, Mrs. +Ellmer, I assure you I was coming to the +cottage to tell you about it. But we shall +be about as sportive as a gathering of the +British Archæological Association, and as we +shall be out on the moors all day, I am afraid +you won't find the place much livelier than +usual. I think,' I added, coming to the pith +of the matter with some feeling of awkwardness, +'that you had better keep Miss Babiole +more—more with you, while—while the +gentlemen are here. Or—or if you would +like a trip to the seaside we might see about +a couple of weeks at Muchalls or Stonehaven, +<span class="pagenum">[181]</span>and that would give us an opportunity of—of +having the cottage whitewashed, you +know,' I finished up, with a sudden gleam of +tardy inventive genius.</p> + +<p>The fact was, I had begun to tingle at the +thought of the merciless 'chaff'—as much +worse to bear than slander as the stigma +of fool is than that of rogue—which the +importation of my fair tenants would bring +down upon me. Besides, though my four +visitors were all old friends, and very good +fellows, yet a pretty face may work such +Circe-like wonders, even in the best of us, +that I thought it better that our bachelor +loneliness should be, as before, untempered +by the smiles of any woman lovelier than +Janet. But Mrs. Ellmer, at my hesitating +suggestion, grew rigid and haughty.</p> + +<p>'Of course, Mr. Maude,' she said, 'if you +wish now to make use of the cottage my +daughter and I have done our best to keep +in order for you, we shall be ready to pack<span class="pagenum">[182]</span> +up at any time. We can go to-morrow, if +you like. I have no doubt that I shall be +able to find an opening for the autumn +season with some company.'</p> + +<p>'No, no, no!' interrupted I emphatically +and with some impatience, 'Pray do not +think of such a thing. There is plenty of +room in my own place for all my friends. +My sole object in making the suggestion I +did was to prevent your being pestered with +the attentions of a lot of rough sportsmen, +who, when they were tired of shooting, would +find nothing better to do than to worry you +and Miss Babiole to death. And you remember,' +I ended, as a happy thought, 'how, when +you came here, you insisted on privacy.'</p> + +<p>'One may have too much even of such a +good thing as one's own society,' said she, +with an affected little laugh. 'I think I could +bear a little attention now, with much equanimity, +even from a sportsman who "could<span class="pagenum">[183]</span> +find nothing better to do." Of course, I +could expect no more than that from gentlemen +of such rank as your guests,' she added, +rather venomously. 'But for a change even +that might be acceptable.'</p> + +<p>Good heavens! The woman would not +understand me.</p> + +<p>'But Babiole!' I suggested quietly.</p> + +<p>'Babiole is only a child; but even if she +were not, a daughter of mine would be +perfectly able to take care of herself, Mr. +Maude.'</p> + +<p>After this snub, I could only bow and +take myself off, spending the interval before +my guests' arrival in schooling myself for the +approaching ordeal.</p> + +<p>The first to arrive on the fifteenth were +Lord Edgar Normanton and Mr. Richard +Fussell, the latter, anxious to make the most +of his annual taste of rank and fashion, +having lain in wait for the former at King's<span class="pagenum">[184]</span> +Cross, and insisted on bearing him company +during the entire journey. I met them at +Ballater station at 2.15 in the afternoon, and +was sorry to hear from Edgar, who never +looked otherwise than the picture of robust +health, and who was, moreover, getting fat, +that he was far from well.</p> + +<p>'I tell his lordship that he should take +rowing exercise. Nothing like a good pull +every day on the river to keep a man in +condition,' urged Mr. Fussell, who was fifty +inches round what had once been his waist, +and who seemed to radiate health and +happiness.</p> + +<p>They informed me that Fabian Scott had +also travelled up by the night mail, but in +another compartment; so I went to meet +the train, which came into Ballater at 5.50, +and found both Fabian and Mr. Maurice +Browne disputing so violently that they had +forgotten to get out. Fabian had indeed<span class="pagenum">[185]</span> +taken advantage of the stopping of the train +to stride up and down the confined area of +the railway carriage, gesticulating violently +with his hatbox, rug, gun, and various other +unconsidered trifles. I guessed that they +could only have travelled together from +Aberdeen, for there had been no bloodshed. +They had been having a little discussion +on realism in art, of which Maurice Browne +was an ardent disciple. They were still hard +at it, in terms unfit for publication, when I +mounted the step and put my head in at the +window. Excitable Fabian, with his keen +eyes still flashing indignation with 'exotic +filth,' shook my hand till he brought on +partial paralysis of that member, while he +fired a last shot into his less erratic opponent.</p> + +<p>'No, sir,' he protested vehemently, 'I +deny neither your ability nor your good faith, +nor those of your French master; but I have +the same objection to the fictions of your<span class="pagenum">[186]</span> +school, as works of art, as I should have to +the performance of a play written by cripples +for cripples. It would be a curiosity, sir, and +might attract crowds of morbid-minded +people, besides cripples; but it would be +none the less a disgusting and degraded +exhibition, antagonistic to nature and truth, +to which the feeblest "virtue victorious and +vice vanquished" melodrama would be as day +unto night. With minds attuned to low +thoughts, you seek for low things, and +degrade them still further by your treatment. +You have a philosophy, I admit, sir, but it is +the philosophy of the hog.'</p> + +<p>And, having poured out this persuasive +little harangue with such volubility that not +even an Irishman could get in a word edgeways, +Fabian allowed himself to be enticed +on to the platform, and began asking me +questions about myself with childlike affection. +Maurice Browne followed, somewhat<span class="pagenum">[187]</span> +refreshed by this torrent of abuse, since the +aim of his literary ambition was rather to +scandalise than to convince. He was tall, +thin, and unhealthy-looking, with a pallid +face and pink-rimmed eyes, and an appearance +altogether unfortunate in the propagator +of a new cult. I believe he was, on the +whole, fonder of me than Fabian was. My +disastrous ugliness appealed to his distaste +for the beautiful, and having once, as a complete +stranger, very generously come to my +aid in a difficulty, he felt ever after the +natural and kindly human liking for a fellow-creature +who has given one an opportunity +of posing as the deputy of God. These two +gentlemen, with their strong and aggressive +opinions, formed the disturbing element in +our yearly meeting, and, each being always +at deadly feud with somebody else, might be +reckoned on to keep the fun alive. Both +talked to me, and me alone, on our way to<span class="pagenum">[188]</span> +the house, with such sly hits at one another +as their wit or their malice could suggest. +Fabian raved about the effects of descending +sun on heather and pine-covered hills, +Maurice Browne bemoaned the stony poverty +of the cottages, and opined that constant intermarriages +between the inhabitants had +reduced the scanty population to idiots. +Then Fabian told me how many inquiries +had been made about me by old acquaintances, +who still hoped I would some day +return from the wilds, and Maurice instantly +tempered my satisfaction by asking me if I +had heard that the Earl of Saxmundham +was going to divorce his wife. The question +gave me a great shock, not so much on +account of the blow it dealt at an old idol +still conventionally enthroned in my memory +as the last love of my life, as because I knew +how much distress such a report must cause +to poor old Edgar.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[189]</span></p> + +<p>I was quite relieved, on entering the +drive, to meet my stalwart friend and his +faithful companion, both very merry over +some joke which had already made Mr. +Fussell purple in the face. On seeing us +they burst out laughing afresh. I guessed +what the joke was.</p> + +<p>'Deuced lonely up here, isn't it?' said +Mr. Fussell to me. 'No society, nothing +but books, books,—except for one short +fortnight in the year. Eh, Maude?'</p> + +<p>'Eh? eh? what's this?' said Fabian.</p> + +<p>'His only books are woman's looks, and +I wonder they didn't teach him the folly of +bringing a band of gay and dashing cavaliers +to read them too,' said Edgar.</p> + +<p>Fabian turned slowly round to me, with a +look of extreme pain, and shook his head +mournfully.</p> + +<p>'Oh, what a tangled web we weave,' he +murmured sorrowfully, and then began to<span class="pagenum">[190]</span> +dance the Highland fling, with his rug +tartanwise over his shoulder.</p> + +<p>Maurice Browne gravely cocked his hat, +pulled down his cuffs, buttoned up his coat, +and requesting Edgar to carry his bag, +proceeded up the drive with his hands in +his pockets, whistling.</p> + +<p>In fact the whole quartett had given +themselves up to ribald gaiety at my expense, +and my explanation that I had merely given +a poor lady and her daughter shelter for the +winter in an unused cottage only provoked +another explosion. It was understood that +at these bachelor meetings all rules of social +decorum should be scrupulously violated, so +there was nothing for it but to join in the +mirth with the best grace I could.</p> + +<p>'You know who it is,' I said, half aside, +to Fabian, hoping to turn him at least into an +ally. 'It's poor little Mrs. Ellmer, the wife +of that drunken painter.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[191]</span></p> + +<p>But Fabian was flinty. Turning towards +the rest, with his expiring Romeo expression, +he wailed: 'Oh, gentlemen, he is adding +insult to injury; he is loading with abuse the +bereaved husband of this lady to whom he +has given shelter for the winter!'</p> + +<p>'Which winter? How much winter?' +asked the others.</p> + +<p>The more they saw that I was getting +really pained by their chaff the worse it +became, until Fabian, stalking gravely up +to Ferguson, who stood on the doorstep, +pointed tragically in the direction of nowhere +in particular, and said, in a sepulchral voice—</p> + +<p>'You are a Scotchman, so am I. I have +been pained by stories of orgies, debaucheries, +and general goings on in this neighbourhood. +Tell me, on your word as a fellow-countryman, +can these gentlemen and myself, as +churchwardens and Sunday-school teachers, +enter this house without loss of self-respect?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[192]</span></p> + +<p>'I dinna ken aboot self-respect, gentlemen; +but if you don't come in, ye'll stand +the loss of a varra good dinner,' answered +Ferguson, with a welcoming twinkle in +his eyes.</p> + +<p>'I am satisfied,' said Fabian, entering +precipitately.</p> + +<p>And the rest followed without scruple.</p> + +<p>At dinner, to my relief, they found other +subjects for their tongues to wag upon; for +Maurice Browne, never being satisfied long +with any topic but literary 'shop,' brought +realism up again, and there ensued a triangular +battle. For Edgar, who, now that +he had passed the age and weight for +cricket, had grown distressingly intellectual, +was an ardent admirer of the modern +American school of fiction in which nothing +ever happens, and in which nobody is anything +in particular for long at a time. He +hungrily devoured all the works of that<span class="pagenum">[193]</span> +desperately clever gentleman who maintains +that 'a woman standing by a table is an +incident,' and looked down from an eminence +of six feet two of unqualified disdain on the +'battle, murder, and sudden death' school on +the one hand, and on the 'all uncleanness' +school on the other. Not at all crushed by +his scorn, Fabian retorted by calling the +American school the 'School of Foolish +Talking,' and the battle raged till long past +sundown, Mr. Fussell and I watching the +case on behalf of the general reader, and +passing the decanters till the various schools +all became 'mixed schools.'</p> + +<p>At this point a diversion was created by +a fleeting view caught through the door by +Fabian, of Janet carrying dishes away to +the kitchen. He heaved a sigh of relief, +and, with upturned eyes, breathed gently, +'I would trust him another winter!'</p> + +<p>I had bought a piano at Aberdeen, as<span class="pagenum">[194]</span> +Fabian had spread a report that he could +play, while all my guests nursed themselves +in the belief that they could sing. The +instrument had been placed in a corner of +my study against the wall. But the Philistinism +of this so shocked Fabian that he +instantly directed its removal into the middle +of the room. This necessitated a re-disposal +of most of the furniture. The centre table +was piled high with my private papers. +Fabian looked hastily through these, and, +observing, 'I don't see anything here we +need keep,' tumbled them all into the grate +where the fire, indispensable as evening +draws on in the Highlands, was burning. +Mechanically, I saved what I could, while +Fabian's subversive orders were being +carried out round me. After a few minutes' +hard work, all my favourite objects were out +of sight. Maurice Browne was reclining +comfortably in my own particular chair, and<span class="pagenum">[195]</span> +most of the rest of the seats having been +turned out into the hall as taking up too +much room, I had to sit upon To-to's kennel. +The curtains were also pulled down in +deference to a suggestion of Browne's that +they interfered with the full sound of the +voice, but I wished they had been left up +when the caterwauling began.</p> + +<p>Mr. Fussell led off with 'The Stirrup +Cup,' in deference to his being the eldest of +the party, and also to purchase his non-intervention +when the other performers +should begin. It was some time before he +got a fair start, being afflicted with hoarseness, +which he attributed to the Highland +air, and the rest unanimously to the Highland +whiskey. When at last he warmed to his +work, however, and said complacently that +he was 'all right' now, they must have heard +him at Aberdeen. He had a good baritone +voice, the value of which was discounted by<span class="pagenum">[196]</span> +his total ignorance of the art of singing, his +imperfect acquaintance with both the time +and the words of his songs, and his belief +that the louder one shouted the better one +sang. When at last, crimson and panting, +but proud of himself, he sat down amid the +astonished comments of the company on the +strength of the roof, Maurice Browne wailed +forth in a cracked voice a rollicking Irish +song to the accompaniment of 'Auld Robin +Gray'; Fabian followed with no voice at all, +but no end of expression, in a pathetic lovesong +of his own composition, during which +everybody went to look for some cigars he +had in his overcoat pocket. I refused altogether +to perform, and nobody pressed me; +but I had my revenge. When Edgar, strung +up to do or die, asked Fabian to accompany +him with 'The Death of Nelson,' and rose +with the modest belief that he should astonish +them with a very fine bass, the first note was<span class="pagenum">[197]</span> +a deep-mouthed roar that broke down the +last twig of our forbearance, and we all rose +as one man and declared that we had had +music enough. Poor Ta-ta, who had been +turned out of the room at the beginning +of the concert for emulating the first singer +by a prolonged howl, was let in again, +and relief having been given to everybody's +artistic yearnings, we ended the evening +with smoke and peace.</p> + +<p>Next morning we were all early on the +moors, where we distinguished ourselves in +various ways. Fabian, who worked himself +into a fearful state of excitement over the +sport, shot much and often, but brought +home nothing at all, and thanked Heaven, +when calmness returned with the evening +hours, for keeping his fellow-creatures out +of the range of his wild gun. Maurice +Browne made a good mixed bag of a hedgehog, +a pee-wit, and a keeper's leg, and then<span class="pagenum">[198]</span> +complained that shooting was monotonous +work. Edgar worked hard and gravely, but +was so slow that for the most part the grouse +were out of sight before he fired. Mr. +Fussell did better, and attributed every +failure to bring down his bird to his 'd——d +glasses,' upon which Fabian hastened to ask +him if he meant the glasses of the night +before.</p> + +<p>However, everybody but the keeper who +was shot, declared himself delighted with the +day's sport; but on the following morning +Fabian and Maurice Browne seceded from +the party and amused themselves, the former +by sketching, the latter by learning by heart, +by means of chats with ostlers and shopkeepers, +the <i>chronique scandaleuse</i> of the +neighbourhood; in the evening he triumphantly +informed me that the morals of the +lowest haunts in Paris were immaculate, +compared to those of my simple Highland<span class="pagenum">[199]</span> +village. I am afraid this startling revelation +had less effect upon me than a little incident +which I witnessed next day.</p> + +<p>I had been congratulating myself upon +the fact that, though all my visitors vied +with each other in attentions to Mrs. Ellmer, +who had become, under the influence of this +sudden rush of admirers, gayer and giddier +than ever, they looked upon Babiole, as her +mother had prophesied, merely as a little +girl and of no account. But on the morning +referred to, I came upon Fabian and the +child together in my garden at the foot of +the hill. He was fastening some roses in +the front of her blue cotton frock, and when +he had done so, and stepped back a few +paces to admire the effect, he claimed a kiss +as a reward for his trouble. She gave it +him shyly but simply. She was only a child, +of course, and his little sweetheart of six +years ago; and the blush that rose in her<span class="pagenum">[200]</span> +cheeks when she caught sight of me was no +sign of self-consciousness, for her colour came +and went at the faintest emotion of surprise +or pleasure. As for Fabian, he drew her +hand through his arm, and came skipping +towards me like a stage peasant.</p> + +<p>'We're going to be married, Babiole and +I, as soon as we've saved up money enough,' +said he.</p> + +<p>And the child laughed, delighted with this +extravagant pleasantry.</p> + +<p>But, though I laughed too, I didn't see +any fun in it at all; for the remembrance +that the time would come when this little +blossom of youth and happiness and all +things fresh and sweet would be plucked +from the hillside, was not in the least amusing +to me. And when this young artist proceeded +to devote his mornings to long +rambles with 'the child,' and his afternoons +to making sketches of 'the child,' I thought<span class="pagenum">[201]</span> +his attentions would be much better bestowed +on a grown-up person. But as Mrs. Ellmer +saw nothing to censure in all this I could not +interfere. It spoilt my yearly holiday for +me, though, in an unaccountable fashion; and +when at the end of a fortnight my guests +went away, no regrets that I felt at their +departure were so keen as my ridiculous +annoyance on seeing that Fabian's farewell +kiss to his little sweetheart left the child in +tears.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep09.jpg" width="130" height="134" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[202]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch10.jpg" width="400" height="116" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER X</h2> + +<p>With the departure of my summer visitors, +a gloom fell upon us all at Larkhall. Mrs. +Ellmer missed her admirers and grew petulant; +Babiole had discovered some new +haunt and was never to be found; while I +felt the wanderer's fever growing strong +upon me again. Fabian Scott had cleared +up the little mystery concerning the husband +and father of my tenants. It appeared that +Mr. Ellmer, while neglecting and ill-using +his wife without scruple when she was under +the same roof with him, was subject to strong +fits of conjugal devotion when two or three +months of hard work, away from him, gave<span class="pagenum">[203]</span> +him reason to think that she would be in +possession of a few pounds of carefully-gleaned +savings, while he, her lawful and +once adored husband, did not know where +to turn for a glass of beer. During the +winter before I found them in Aberdeen +some friends with whom both mother and +child had taken refuge from his drunken fury +had had to pay him a heavy ransom for their +kindness, besides exposing themselves to the +inconvenience of having their house mobbed +and their windows broken whenever the +tender husband and father, having exhausted +the tribute paid to keep him in the public-house, +bethought himself of this new way of +calling attention to his wrongs.</p> + +<p>Fabian told me that a few weeks back he +had been accosted in the Strand by Mr. +Ellmer, who was looking more tattered and +dissipated than ever. This gentleman had +experienced great concern at the total disappearance<span class="pagenum">[204]</span> +of his wife, had asked Fabian's +advice as to the best means of finding her, +and had finally let out his conviction that +she was 'doing well for herself,' in a tone of +bitter indignation. Fabian had said nothing +of this meeting to Mrs. Ellmer, being, both +for her sake and for mine, anxious not to +touch those strings of sentiment which, in +the better kind of women, sound so readily +for the most good-for-nothing of husbands.</p> + +<p>Already Mrs. Ellmer had begun to allude +with irritating frequency to the talents and +noble qualities of her 'poor husband,' whom +it was the fashion among us all to consider +as the 'victim of art,' as if art had been a +chronic disease. This fiction had gone on +expanding and developing until the illustrious +artist, to whom absence was so becoming, +had eclipsed the entire Royal Academy, +and had become to his wife a source of +legitimate pride which, if touching by its<span class="pagenum">[205]</span> +naïveté, was also wearisome by its excess.</p> + +<p>Between proud reminiscences of her husband +and happy memories of her late flirtations +with Mr. Fussell and Mr. Browne, +Mrs. Ellmer was rather disposed to treat me +and my modest friendship as of small account. +So the worm turned at last, by which I +mean that I spent my days deer-stalking, +grouse-shooting, and salmon-fishing, and my +evenings with To-to, Ta-ta, and my books. +This estrangement helped me to make up +my mind to leave Larkhall for Italy before +the winter came on, and a sharp frost in the +last days of October sent me off to Aberdeen +to make inquiries about my proposed journey. +I would install Mrs. Ellmer and her daughter +at the Hall, if they cared to remain, so that, +at any rate, they would be housed out of +harm's—that is, Mr. Ellmer's—way for the +winter.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[206]</span></p> + +<p>Janet had particularly entreated me to be +back early, as there had been ghostly noises +of late in the region of the drawing-room; +and though her braw laddie, John, was ample +protection against bodily intruders, yet, in the +case of wraiths, though I only rented the +place, and therefore could have no family influence +with the spirits of departed owners, I +was likely, through my superior social standing, +to get a better hearing from the phantoms +of gentlefolk than the staunchest man-servant +could hope to do.</p> + +<p>It was past six, and already dark, when I +came back and went into the study, attracted +by sounds of a very elementary performance +on the piano. But there was perfect silence +as I entered, and no human creature to be +seen. Ta-ta, however, was hovering about +near the piano, now replaced in its original +position in a corner against the wall. I +suspected the identity of the musical ghost, and<span class="pagenum">[207]</span> +quietly seated myself by the fireplace to see +what would happen. First, Ta-ta ran excitedly +backwards and forwards between me +and the other side of the table; then slight +sounds as of stealthy creeping feet and hands +were followed by a fleeting apparition of a +female figure on all fours between the table +and the screen.</p> + +<p>'What are you running away for?' I asked, +very gently.</p> + +<p>Babiole was so much startled by the voice +that she reappeared involuntarily, on her feet +this time, from behind the screen.</p> + +<p>'I beg your pardon, Mr. Maude, indeed +I'm very sorry,' she began, 'I didn't think +you would be in so soon.'</p> + +<p>'And what have I done that you should +be so sorry to see me?'</p> + +<p>'Oh no, I didn't mean that. I'm not +sorry to see you, I'm always glad to, only we +never do now, you know, and I thought<span class="pagenum">[208]</span> +perhaps you would be angry at my coming +into your study,' said she, recovering confidence, +as she saw that I was not displeased.</p> + +<p>'Oh, so you took advantage of my being +away to do what you thought I should not +like?'</p> + +<p>I spoke playfully, but Babiole hung her head.</p> + +<p>'Well, what have you got to say for yourself?'</p> + +<p>After a few moments' silence she raised her +head, staring before her with the fixed and +desperate earnestness of a sensitive young +creature who thinks the slightest blame a +terrible thing to bear.</p> + +<p>'I don't believe it was so very wrong,' +she said at last. 'I was so very careful; I +took off my boots that I had been out on the +hills in, and put on clean shoes, not to hurt +the carpet; and I just put down the notes so +lightly I could not have hurt the piano, and I +washed my hands before touching the books.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[209]</span></p> + +<p>'The books! What books have you been +touching?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, I took down several; but I couldn't +read all, because they were not English.'</p> + +<p>This was satisfactory as far as it went; +but then the best English authors are considered +scarcely more suitable reading for +'the young person' than the worst French +ones.</p> + +<p>'And which do you like best of the English +ones?'</p> + +<p>'I like one I found yesterday, all letters +from different people, with the s's like f's.'</p> + +<p>I poked the fire into a blaze, and led the +girl back to the book-shelves.</p> + +<p>'Now, show me which one you mean.'</p> + +<p>She hesitated, and looked at me, at first +suspecting some trap. As I waited quietly, +she at last timidly touched a volume of <i>The +Tattler</i>. I pointed to a modern 'popular +novel,' with a picture-cover and popular<span class="pagenum">[210]</span> +title, which was among the lumber of the +shelves.</p> + +<p>'Have you read that?'</p> + +<p>'Yes,' indifferently.</p> + +<p>'Didn't you like that better than <i>The +Tattler</i>?'</p> + +<p>'Oh no!' indignantly.</p> + +<p>'Why not? It is all about an actress.'</p> + +<p>'An actress!' contemptuously. 'It isn't +like any of the actresses I've ever met. It's +a silly book.'</p> + +<p>'Is there any other book you like?'</p> + +<p>'Oh yes. I like these.' She passed her +hand lovingly over a row—not an unbroken +row, of course—of solid-looking calf-bound +volumes, full of old-fashioned line engravings +of British scenery, the text containing a +discursive account of the places illustrated, +enlivened by much historical information, +apocryphal anecdote, and old-world scandal. +'And <i>Jane Eyre</i>, and this.' 'This' was an<span class="pagenum">[211]</span> +illustrated translation of <i>Don Quixote</i>. 'Oh, +and I like <i>Clarissa Harlowe</i> and that book +with the red cover.'</p> + +<p>'<i>Ivanhoe?</i>'</p> + +<p>'Oh yes, <i>Ivanhoe</i>,' she repeated carefully +after me. Evidently, as in the case of <i>Don +Quixote</i>, she had been uncertain how to pronounce +the title.</p> + +<p>'And these?' I pointed, one by one, to +some modern novels. 'Don't you like any +of these?' Already I began to be alarmed +at the extent of her reading.</p> + +<p>'Yes, I like some of them—pretty well.'</p> + +<p>'Why do you like <i>Don Quixote</i> and <i>Ivanhoe</i> +better?'</p> + +<p>She considered for a long time, her blue +eyes fixed thoughtfully on the shelves.</p> + +<p>'I think I feel more as if they'd really +happened.'</p> + +<p>'But when you were reading <i>Armadale</i>, +didn't you feel as if that had happened?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[212]</span></p> + +<p>'Oh yes,' with a flash of excitement. +'One night I couldn't sleep, because I thought +of it so much.'</p> + +<p>'Then you thought as much about it as +about <i>Ivanhoe</i>?'</p> + +<p>'Ye-es, but——' A pause. 'I thought +about <i>Ivanhoe</i> because I wanted to, and I +thought about <i>Armadale</i> because I couldn't +help it.'</p> + +<p>I went on asking her what she had read, +and I own that I dare not give the list. But +her frank young mind had absorbed no evil, +and when I asked her how she liked one +famous peccant hero, she answered quite +simply—</p> + +<p>'I liked him very much—part of the book. +And when he did wrong things, I was always +wanting to go to him, and tell him not to be +so wicked and silly; and then, oh! I was so +glad when he reformed and married Sophia.'</p> + +<p>'But he wasn't good enough for her.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[213]</span></p> + +<p>'Ah, but then he was a man!' Her tone +implied '<i>only</i> a man.'</p> + +<p>'Then you think women are better than +men?'</p> + +<p>'I think they ought to be.'</p> + +<p>'Why?'</p> + +<p>'Well, men have to work, and women +have only to be good.'</p> + +<p>I was surprised at this answer.</p> + +<p>'That is not true always. Your mother +is a very good woman, and has had to work +very hard indeed.'</p> + +<p>'But mamma's an exception; she says so. +And she says it's very hard to work as she +does, and be good too.'</p> + +<p>I could scarcely help laughing, though it +was pretty to see how innocently the young +girl had taken the querulous speech.</p> + +<p>'Well, and then I'm a man, and I don't +have to work.'</p> + +<p>'Perhaps that's why you're so good.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[214]</span></p> + +<p>I was so utterly astonished at this naïve +speech that I had nothing to say. The blood +rushed to the girl's face; she was afraid she +had been rude.</p> + +<p>'How do you know that I am good, +Babiole?' I asked gently.</p> + +<p>But this was taxing her penetration too +much.</p> + +<p>'I don't know,' she answered shyly.</p> + +<p>'Why do you think people are better when +they don't work?'</p> + +<p>She looked at me, and was reassured that +I was not offended.</p> + +<p>'Well, sometimes when mamma has been +working very hard—not now, you know; but +it used to be like that—she used to say things +that hurt me, and made me want to cry. And +then I used to look at her poor tired face and +say to myself, "It's the hard work and not +mamma that says those things;" and then, +of course, I did not mind. And when<span class="pagenum">[215]</span> +you have once had to work too hard, you +never get over it as you do over other +things.'</p> + +<p>'What other things?'</p> + +<p>'Oh—fancies and—and things like that.'</p> + +<p>'Love troubles?'</p> + +<p>She looked up at me with a shy, sideways +glance that was full of the most perfectly unconscious +witchery.</p> + +<p>'Yes, mamma says they're nonsense.'</p> + +<p>'She liked nonsense, too, once.'</p> + +<p>Babiole looked up at me with the delight +of a common perception.</p> + +<p>'Yes, I've often thought that. And then +all men are not like——'</p> + +<p>She stopped short.</p> + +<p>'Papa?'</p> + +<p>She shook her head. 'One mustn't say +that. One must make allowances for clever +people, mamma says.'</p> + +<p>'You will be clever, too, some day, if you<span class="pagenum">[216]</span> +go on reading and thinking about what you +read.'</p> + +<p>'No, I don't want to be clever; it makes +people so selfish. But,' with a sigh, 'I wish +I knew something, and could play and sing +and read all those books that are not +English.'</p> + +<p>'Shall I teach you French?'</p> + +<p>'Will you? Oh, Mr. Maude!'</p> + +<p>I think she was going to clap her hands +with delight, but remembered in time the +impropriety of such a proceeding. Four +o'clock next day was fixed as the hour for +the first lesson, and in the meantime I made +another journey to Aberdeen to provide +myself with a whole library of French +grammars and other elementary works.</p> + +<p>At four o'clock Babiole made her appearance, +very scrupulously combed and washed, +and wearing the air of intense seriousness +befitting such a matter as the beginning of<span class="pagenum">[217]</span> +one's education. This almost broke down, +however, under the glowing excitement of +taking a phrase-book into one's hand, and +repeating after me, 'Good-day, <i>bon-jour</i>; +How do you do? <i>Comment vous portezvous?</i>' +and a couple of pages of the same +kind. Then she wrote out the verb 'To +have' in French and English; and her +appetite for knowledge not being yet +quenched, she then learnt and wrote down +the names of different objects round us, some +of which, I regret to say, her master had to +find out in the dictionary, not being prepared +to give off-hand the French for 'hearthrug,' +letter-weight,' and 'wainscoting.' We then +went through the names of the months and +the seasons of the year, after which, surfeited +with information, she gave a little sigh of +completed bliss, and, looking up at me, said +simply that she thought that was as much as +she could learn perfectly by to-morrow. I<span class="pagenum">[218]</span> +thought it was a great deal more, but did not +like to discourage her by saying so. I had +much doubt about my teaching, having been +plunged into it suddenly without having had +time to formulate a method; but then I was +convinced that by the time I felt more sure +of my powers my pupil's zeal would have +melted away, and I should have no one to +experimentalise upon. As soon as I had +assured her that she had done quite enough +for the first lesson, Babiole rose, collected +the formidable pile of books, her exercise-book, +and the pen I had consecrated to her +use, and asked me where she should keep +them. We decided upon a corner of the +piano as being a place where they would not +be in my way, Babiole having a charmingly +feminine reverence for the importance of +even the most frivolous occupations of the +stronger sex. After this she thanked me +very gravely and prettily for my kindness in<span class="pagenum">[219]</span> +teaching her, and hastened away, evidently +in the innocent belief that I must be anxious +to be alone.</p> + +<p>What a light the bright child seemed to +have left in the musty room! I began to +smile to myself at the remembrance of her +preternatural gravity, and Ta-ta put her forepaws +on my knees and wagged her tail for +sympathy. I thought it very probable that +Mrs. Ellmer would interfere to prevent the +girl's coming again, or that Babiole's enthusiasm +for learning would die out in a day or +two, and I should be left waiting for my +pupil with my grammars and dictionaries on +my hands.</p> + +<p>However, she reappeared next day, +absolutely perfect in the verb <i>avoir</i>, the +months, the seasons, and the pages out of +the phrase-book. When I praised her she +said, with much warmth—</p> + +<p>'I could have learnt twice as many<span class="pagenum">[220]</span> +phrases if I'd known how to pronounce +them!'</p> + +<p>In fact, beginning to learn at an age when +she was able to understand, and impelled by +a strong sense of her own deficiencies, she +learnt so fast and so well that her education +soon became the strongest interest of my life, +and when my fear that she would tire had +worn away, I gave whole hours to considering +what I should teach her, and to preparing +myself for her lessons. As winter drew on, +the darkening days gave us both the excuse +we wanted for longer working hours. From +three to half-past six we now sat together +in the study, reading, writing, translating. +When I found her willing I had added Latin +to her studies, and we diligently plodded +through a course of reading arbitrarily +marked out by me, and followed by my pupil +with enthusiastic docility.</p> + +<p>All thoughts of leaving Ballater for the<span class="pagenum">[221]</span> +winter had now disappeared from my mind. +I was happier in my new occupation than I +remembered to have been before, and as I +saw spring approaching, I regretted the short +days, which had been brighter to me than +midsummer.</p> + +<p>'I mustn't keep you indoors so long now, +Babiole,' I said to her one afternoon in the +first days of April. 'I have been making +you work too hard lately, and you must go +and get back your roses on the hills.'</p> + +<p>I saw the light come over the girl's face +as she looked out of the window, and, with a +pang of self-reproach, I felt that, in spite of +herself, the earnest little student had been +waiting eagerly for some such words as +these.</p> + +<p>'O—h—h,' she whispered, in a long-drawn +breath of pleasure, 'it must be lovely up +among the pine-woods now!'</p> + +<p>I said nothing, and she turned round to<span class="pagenum">[222]</span> +me with a mistrustful inquiring face. I went +on looking over an exercise she had written, +as if absorbed in that occupation. But the +little one's perceptions were too keen for me. +She was down on her knees on the floor +beside my chair in a moment, with a most +downcast face, her eyes full of tears.</p> + +<p>'Oh, Mr. Maude, what an ungrateful little +wretch you must think me!'</p> + +<p>I was so much moved that I could not +take her pretty apology quietly. I burst out +into a shout of laughter.</p> + +<p>'Why, Babiole, you must think me an +ogre! You don't really imagine I wanted to +keep you chained to the desk all the +summer!'</p> + +<p>She took my hand in both of hers and +stroked it gently.</p> + +<p>'I would rather never go on the hills +again than seem ungrateful to you, Mr. +Maude.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[223]</span></p> + +<p>'Ungrateful, child! You don't know how +your little sunbeam face has brightened this +old room.'</p> + +<p>'Has it, really?' She seemed pleased, +but rather puzzled. 'Well, I'm very glad, +but that doesn't make it any the less kind of +you to teach me.'</p> + +<p>'There has been no kindness at all on my +side, I assure you.'</p> + +<p>She shook her head, and her curly hair +touched my shoulder.</p> + +<p>'Yes, there has, and I like to think that +there has. Nobody knows how good you +are but Ta-ta and me; we often talk about +you when we're out together, don't we, +Ta-ta?'</p> + +<p>The collie wagged her tail violently, +taking this little bit of affectionate conversation +as a welcome relief to the monotony of +our studies.</p> + +<p>'Well, I shall leave Ta-ta with you,<span class="pagenum">[224]</span> +then, to keep my memory green while I'm +away.'</p> + +<p>'Away! Are you going away?'</p> + +<p>'Yes. I am going to Norway for the +summer.'</p> + +<p>I could not tell exactly when I made up +my mind to this, but I know that I had had +no intention of the kind when Babiole came +into my study that afternoon. She remained +quite silent for a few minutes. Then she +asked softly—</p> + +<p>'When will you come back, Mr. Maude?'</p> + +<p>'Oh, about—September, I think.'</p> + +<p>'The place won't seem the same without +you.'</p> + +<p>'Why, child, when you are about on the +hills I never see you.'</p> + +<p>'No, but—but I always have a feeling that +the good genius is about, and—do you know, +I think I shall be afraid to take such long +walks alone with Ta-ta when you're not here!'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[225]</span></p> + +<p>My heart went out to the child. With a +passionate joy in the innocent trust one little +human creature felt towards me, the outcast, +I was on the point of telling her, as carelessly +as I could, that I had not quite made up my +mind yet, when she broke the spell as unwittingly +as she had woven it.</p> + +<p>'Oh, Mr. Maude,' she cried, with fervent +disappointment; 'then your friends—Mr. +Scott—and the rest—they won't come here +this year?'</p> + +<p>'No,' said I coolly, but with no sign of +the sudden chill her words had given me, 'I +shall invite them to Norway this year.'</p> + +<p>Before April was over I had installed Mrs. +Ellmer as caretaker at Larkhall, and, with +Ferguson at my heels, had set out on my +wanderings again.</p> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[226]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch11.jpg" width="400" height="117" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER XI</h2> + +<p>If I went away to appease the restlessness +which had attacked me so suddenly, to persuade +myself that the secret of happiness for +me lay in never remaining long in the same +place, I succeeded badly.</p> + +<p>It was not until I was three hundred miles +away from them that I began fully to appreciate +the joys of domestic life with To-to and +Ta-ta, the comfort of being able to keep my +books together, the supreme blessing of sitting +every evening in the same arm-chair. +I was surprised by this at first, till I reflected +that the very loneliness of my life was bound +to bring middle age upon me early. There<span class="pagenum">[227]</span> +was a period of each day which I found it +very hard to get through; whether in Paris, +enjoying coffee and cigarette at a café on +the boulevards, or in Norway, watching the +sunset on some picturesque fiord, when +the day began to wane I grew restless, +and, referring aimlessly to my watch again +and again, could settle down to nothing +till the last rays of daylight had faded +away.</p> + +<p>My four friends, when they joined me for +our yearly holiday, all decided that something +was wrong, but that was as far as they could +agree. For while both Fabian and Edgar +said that it was 'liver,' the former recommended +camel-exercise in the Soudan, the +latter would hear of nothing but porridge and +Strathpeffer. And though both the fat Mr. +Fussell and the lean Mr. Browne leaned to +the sentimental view that love and Mrs. +Ellmer were at the root of my malady, the<span class="pagenum">[228]</span> +latter suggested that to shut Mr. Ellmer up +with a hogshead of new whisky and then to +marry his widow would quench my passion +effectually, while Mr. Fussell, with an indescribable +smile, told me to go back to Paris +and 'enjoy myself'; and, if I didn't know +how, I was to take him.</p> + +<p>I did none of these things, however, but +after my friends had returned to England, I +wandered about until late October. But when +the days grew short again, the home-hunger +grew irresistibly strong, and I went back to +the Highlands, as a gambler goes back to the +cards. Of course I knew what took me +there, just when the hills were growing bleak, +and the deer had gone to their winter retreat +in the forests. I wanted to see that girl's +face in my study again, to hear the young +voice that rang with youth and happiness +and every quality that makes womanhood +sweet and loveworthy in a man's mind. She<span class="pagenum">[229]</span> +might conjugate Latin verbs or tell me her +young girl love affairs, as she had done sometimes +with ringing laughter, but I must hear +her voice again.</p> + +<p>So I arrived at Ballater without warning, +and leaving Ferguson at the station to order +a fly and come on with my luggage, I walked +to Larkhall in the dusk. There was a lamp +in the study; I could see it plainly enough, +for the blind was not drawn down. I saw a +figure pass between the window and the +light; in another minute the front door +opened, and Ta-ta rushed at me, leaping +on to my shoulders, and barking joyously; +while Babiole herself, scarcely less +fleet of foot, seized both my hands, crying +in joyous welcome—</p> + +<p>'Mr. Maude! Mr. Maude! Mr. Maude!'</p> + +<p>I said, 'How are you? I hope you are +quite well. Isn't it cold?' But, indeed, no +furnace-fire could have sent such a glow<span class="pagenum">[230]</span> +through my veins as the warm-hearted +pressure of the girl's hands.</p> + +<p>'Do you know, I have a sort of feeling +that I <i>knew</i> you were coming to-day? The +Scotch believe in second sight; perhaps it's +a gift of the country. I've had all day a +presentiment that something was going to +happen—something <i>nice</i>, you know; and just +now, before you were near enough for me to +hear your step, some impulse made me get +up and look out of the window. And, Mr. +Maude, don't you believe mamma if she +says Ta-ta moved first, because she didn't; +it was I. There's always something in the +air before the good genius appears, you +know.'</p> + +<p>And she laughed very happily as she led +me in and gravely introduced me to her +mother. Both had been knitting stockings +for me, and I thought the study had never +looked so warm or so home-like as it did<span class="pagenum">[231]</span> +with their work-baskets and wools about, and +with these two good little women making +kindly welcoming uproar around me. To-to +broke his chain, and climbed up on my +shoulder, snarling and showing his teeth +jealously at Babiole. The delighted clamour +soothed my ears as no prima donna's singing +had ever done. That evening I could have +embraced Mrs. Ellmer with tenderness.</p> + +<p>Next day I was alone in the drawing-room, +the ladies having given up possession +of the Hall and returned to the cottage, when +I heard footsteps at the open door and a +voice—</p> + +<p>'May I come in, Mr. Maude?'</p> + +<p>'Certainly.'</p> + +<p>I was busy putting up two paintings of +Norwegian scenery in place of the portraits +of Lady Helen, which were on the ground +against the wall. On seeing my occupation, +Babiole uttered a short cry of surprise and<span class="pagenum">[232]</span> +dismay. I said nothing, but put my head on +one side to see if one of my new pictures was +hung straight. At last she spoke—</p> + +<p>'Oh, Mr. Maude!' was all she said, in a +tone of timid reproach.</p> + +<p>'Well.'</p> + +<p>'You're not going to take her down after +all this time?'</p> + +<p>'You see I have taken her down.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, why?' It was not curiosity; it was +entreaty.</p> + +<p>'Don't you think she's been up there long +enough?'</p> + +<p>'If you were the woman and she were the +man you wouldn't say that.'</p> + +<p>'What should I say?'</p> + +<p>'You would say, "He's been up there so +long that, whatever he's done, he may as well +stay there now."'</p> + +<p>'That would be rather contemptuous tolerance, +wouldn't it?'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[233]</span></p> + +<p>'But the picture wouldn't know that; and +if the original should ever grow sorry for all +the harm she—he had done, it would be something +to know that the picture still hung there +just the same.'</p> + +<p>The story must have leaked out, then—the +first part through Fabian, probably, and +the rest through the divorce court columns of +the daily papers. I said nothing in answer +to the girl's pleadings, but I restored the +portraits to their old places with the excuse +that the landscapes would look better in the +dining-room.</p> + +<p>Our studies began again that very afternoon. +Babiole had forgotten nothing, though +work had, of course, grown slack during the +hot days of the summer. She had had another +and rather absorbing love affair, too, +the details of which I extracted with the +accompaniment of more blushes than in the +old days.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[234]</span></p> + +<p>'We shall have you getting married and +flying away from us altogether, I suppose, +now, before we know where we are.'</p> + +<p>'No,' she protested stoutly, 'I'm not going +to marry; I am going to devote myself to art.'</p> + +<p>Upon this I made her fetch her sketch-book, +after promising 'not to tell mamma,' +who might well be forgiven for a prejudice +against any more members of her family +sacrificing themselves to this Juggernaut. +The sketches were all of fir and larch-tree, +hillside and rippling stony Dee; some were +in pencil, some in water-colour; there was +love in every line of each of the little pictures, +and there was something more.</p> + +<p>'Why, Babiole, you're going to be a great +artist, I believe,' I cried, as I noticed the +vigour of the outlines, the imaginative charm +of the treatment of her favourite corners of +rock and forest.</p> + +<p>'Oh no, not that,' she said deprecatingly.<span class="pagenum">[235]</span> +'If I can be only a little one I shall be satisfied. +I should never dare to draw the big +hills. When I get on those hills along the +Gairn and see the peaks rising the one behind +the other all round me, I feel almost as if I +ought to fall on my knees only to look at +them; it is only when we have crept down +into some cleft full of trees, where I can peep +at them from round a corner, that I feel I can +take out my paper and my paint-box without +disrespect.'</p> + +<p>'But you can be a great artist without +painting great things. You may paint Snowdon +so that it is nothing better than a drawing-master's +copy, and you may paint a handful +of wild flowers so that it may shame acres +of classical pot-boilers hung on the line at the +Royal Academy.'</p> + +<p>Babiole was thoughtfully silent for some +minutes after this, while I turned over the +rest of her drawings.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[236]</span></p> + +<p>'Drawing-master's copy!' she repeated +slowly at last. 'Then a drawing-master is a +man who doesn't draw very well, or who +isn't very particular how he teaches what he +knows?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, without being very severe I think +we may say that.'</p> + +<p>'That is not like your teaching, Mr. +Maude.'</p> + +<p>'What do you mean?'</p> + +<p>'Why, all these months that you've been +away I've had a lot of time to think, and I +see what a different thing you have made of +life to me by teaching me to understand +things. Last year I thought of nothing +when I was out on the hills with Ta-ta but +childish things—stories and things like that. +And now all the while I think of the things +that are going on in the great world, the +pictures that are being painted, the books +that are being written.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[237]</span></p> + +<p>'And the dresses that are being worn?' I +suggested playfully, not at all sure that the +change she was so proud of was entirely for +the better.</p> + +<p>'Well, yes, I think I should like to +know that too,' she admitted, with a +blush.</p> + +<p>'And you want to attribute all that to my +teaching?'</p> + +<p>'Yes, Mr. Maude,' she answered, laughing; +'you must bear the blame of it all.'</p> + +<p>'Well, look here; I've re-visited the world +since you have, and, believe me, you are much +better outside. It's a horrid, over-crowded, +noisy place, and, as for the artists in whom +you are so much interested, you must worship +them from afar if you want to worship them +at all. Painters, actors, writers, and the rest—the +successful ones are snobs, the unsuccessful—sponges. +And as for the dresses, +my child, there was never a frock sent out of<span class="pagenum">[238]</span> +Bond Street so pretty, so tasteful, or so becoming +as the one you have on.'</p> + +<p>But Babiole glanced down at her blue +serge gown rather disdainfully, and there +shone in her eyes, as brightly as ever, that +vague hunger of a woman's first youth for +emotions and pleasures, which every morning's +sunshine seemed to promise her, and +whose names she did not know.</p> + +<p>'Ah,' she said gaily, 'but everybody +doesn't speak like that. I shall wait until +your friends come in the summer, and see +what they tell me about it.'</p> + +<p>My face clouded, and, with the pretty +affectionateness with which she now always +treated me, she assured me that she did not +really want any advice but mine, and that, as +long as I was good enough to teach her, she +was content to read the lessons of the busy +world through my eyes.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, however, I was myself, through<span class="pagenum">[239]</span> +those same eyes of mine, learning a far more +dangerous lesson, and one, unluckily, which I +could never hope to impart to any woman. +I had no one but myself to thank for my +folly, into which I had coolly walked with +my eyes open. But the temptation to direct +that fair young mind had been too strong for +me, and, having once indulged in the pleasure, +the few months away had but increased +my craving to taste it again. This second +winter we worked even harder than the first. +Babiole, with her expanding mind, and the +passionate excitement she began to throw +into every pursuit, became daily a more fascinating +pupil. She would slide down from +her chair on to a footstool at my side when +discussion grew warm between us concerning +an interesting chapter we had been reading. +She would put her hand on my shoulder with +affectionate persuasion if I disagreed with +her, or tap my fingers impatiently to hurry<span class="pagenum">[240]</span> +my expression of opinion. How could she +know that the ugly grave man, with furrows +in his scarred face, and already whitening +hair, was young and hot-blooded too, with +passions far stronger than hers, and all the +stronger from being iron-bound?</p> + +<p>Sometimes I felt tempted to let her know +that I was twenty years younger than she, +growing up in the belief of her childhood +on that matter, innocently thought. But it +could make no difference, in the only way in +which I cared for it to make a difference, and +it might render her constrained with me. +After all, it was my comparative youth which +enabled me to enter into her feelings, as no +dry-as-dust professor of fifty could have done, +and it was upon that sympathy that the bond +between us was founded. In the happiness +this companionship brought to me, I thought +I had lulled keener feelings to sleep, when, +as spring came back, and I was beginning<span class="pagenum">[241]</span> +again to dread the return of the long days, +an event happened which made havoc of the +most cherished sentiments of all three of us.</p> + +<p>The first intimation of this revolution was +given by Ferguson, who informed me at +luncheon, with a solemnly indignant face, +that a 'varra disreputable-looking person' +had been pestering him with inquiries for +Mr. Maude, and, after having the door shut +in his face had taken himself off, so Ferguson +feared, in the direction of the cottage, to +bother the ladies. My butler's dislike of +Mrs. Ellmer had broken down under her +constant assistance to Janet.</p> + +<p>'I saw that Jim was aboot the stable, sir, +so I have nae doot he helped the gentleman +awa' safe eno',' added Ferguson grimly.</p> + +<p>I thought no more of the incident, which +the butler had reported simply because up +among the hills the sight of an unknown face +is an event.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[242]</span></p> + +<p>But at four o'clock Babiole did not appear; +I sat waiting, looking through the pages of +Green's <i>Short History of the English People</i>, +on which we were then engaged, for twenty +minutes; and then, almost alarmed at such +an unusual occurrence, I was getting up to +go and make inquiries at the cottage when I +heard her well-known footstep through the +open hall-door. Even before she came in I +knew that something had happened, for instead +of running in all eager, laughing +apology, as was her way on the rare occasions +when she was a few minutes late, I +heard her cross the hall very slowly and hesitate +at the door.</p> + +<p>'Come in, come in, Babiole; what's the +matter?' I cried out impatiently.</p> + +<p>She came in then quickly, and held out +her hand to me as she wished me good-afternoon. +But there was no smile on her face, and +the light seemed to have gone out of her eyes.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[243]</span></p> + +<p>'What is it, child? Something has happened,' +said I, as I drew her down into her +usual chair.</p> + +<p>She shook her head, and tried to laugh, +but suddenly broke down, and, bursting into +tears, leaned her face against her hands and +sobbed bitterly.</p> + +<p>I was horribly distressed. I tried some +vague words of consolation for the unknown +evil, and laid my hand lightly on one heaving +shoulder, only to withdraw it as if seared by +the touch. Then I sat down quietly and +waited, while Ta-ta, more daring, set up a +kindly howl of sympathetic lamentation, +which happily caused a diversion.</p> + +<p>'I ought to be ashamed of myself,' she +said, sitting upright, and drying her eyes. +'I don't know what you must think of me, +Mr. Maude.'</p> + +<p>'I don't think anything of you,' I said at +random, being far too much distressed by her<span class="pagenum">[244]</span> +unhappiness to think of any words more +appropriate. 'Now, tell me, what is the +matter?'</p> + +<p>I was in no hurry for the answer, for I +had already a very strong presentiment what +it would be.</p> + +<p>'Papa has found us out; he's at the cottage +now.'</p> + +<p>But he was even nearer, as a heavy tread +on the stone steps outside the front door at +this moment told us. Babiole jumped up, +with her cheeks on fire and her lips parted, +rather as if prepared for the onslaught of a +mad bull.</p> + +<p>'H'm, h'm, no one about! And no +knocker!' we heard a thick voice say imperiously, +as my town-bred visitor stumped +about the steps.</p> + +<p>'Look here, Babiole; I think you'd better +go, dear. Run through the back door, and +comfort mamma.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[245]</span></p> + +<p>There was no use disguising the fact that +our visitor's arrival was a common calamity. +She made one step away, but then turned +back, clasped my right hand tightly, and +whispered—</p> + +<p>'Remember, you don't see him at his +best. He's a very, very clever man, indeed—at +home.'</p> + +<p>Then she ran lightly away, without looking +at me again, half-conscious, I am afraid, +poor child, that her apology was but a lame +one. I rose, and went to the hall to invite +my visitor in.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep11.jpg" width="130" height="113" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[246]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch12.jpg" width="400" height="116" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XII">CHAPTER XII</h2> + +<p>Mr. Ellmer's appearance had not improved +with the lapse of years. He was dressed in +the same brown overcoat that he had worn +when I made his acquaintance seven years +ago. It had been new then, it was very old, +worn, and greasy now; still, I think it must +have been in the habit of lying by for long +periods, out of its owner's reach, or it could +scarcely have held together so well. Mr. +Ellmer wore a round-topped felt hat, a size +too large for him, with a very wide and +rather curly brim, from under which his +long fair hair, which had the appearance +of being kept in order by the occasional<span class="pagenum">[247]</span> +application of pomatum rather than by the +constant use of the comb, fell down over a +paper collar in careless profusion. The +same change for the worse was apparent +in the man himself. His face was more +bloated, his look more shifting, the whole +man was more sodden and more swaggering +than he had been seven years ago. If it had +not been for the two poor little women so +unluckily bound to him, I would not have +tolerated such a repulsive creature even on +my doorstep; but for the sake of making +such terms with him as would rid us all of +his obnoxious presence, I held out my hand, +which he, after a moment's hesitation, took +and dropped out of his fat flabby palm, with +a look of horror at my scarred face.</p> + +<p>'Will you come in?' said I, leading the +way into the study, which he examined on +entering with undisguised and contemptuous +disappointment.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[248]</span></p> + +<p>'Have you come far to-day, Mr. Ellmer?' +I asked, handing him a chair, which I inwardly +resolved for the future to dispense +with, having sentimental feelings about the +furniture of my favourite room.</p> + +<p>'Yes, well I may say I have. All the +way from Aberdeen. And it's a good pull +up here from the station to a gentleman +who's not used to much walking exercise.'</p> + +<p>He spoke in a low thick voice, very +difficult to hear and understand, his eyes +wandering furtively from one object to +another all the time.</p> + +<p>'Did you have much difficulty in finding +the place?'</p> + +<p>'Oh yes. She had taken care to hide +herself well.' And his face slowly contracted +with a lowering and brutal expression. +'She thought I shouldn't find them +up here. But I swore I would, and when I +swear a thing it's as good as done.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[249]</span></p> + +<p>'I hope you found your wife and daughter +looking well.'</p> + +<p>'Oh, <i>they</i>'re well enough, of course; trust +them to get fat and flourishing, while their +husband and father may be starving!'</p> + +<p>Now this was laughable; for whatever +defects Mr. Ellmer's appearance might have, +the leanness of starvation was not one of +them.</p> + +<p>'They were by no means fat and flourishing +when I first met them, I assure you,' +I said gravely.</p> + +<p>The brute turned his eyes on me with +slow and sullen ferocity.</p> + +<p>'That was not my fault, sir,' he whispered +with affected humility, being evidently far +too stupid to know how his looks belied his +words. 'They had been away from me for +some time; my wife left me because I was +unable to support her in luxury, the depression +in art being very great at this moment,<span class="pagenum">[250]</span> +sir. She took my child away from me to +teach her to hate her own father, and to +bring her up in her own extravagant notions.'</p> + +<p>'She has cured herself of those now,' +I said; 'she lives on the barest sum necessary +to keep two people alive. It is, unfortunately, +all I can spare her for her kindness +in taking care of my cottage.'</p> + +<p>This was true. I had often regretted +that the poor lady's inflexible independence +had made her refuse to accept more than +enough for her and her daughter, with the +strictest economy, to live upon. Now, I +rejoiced to think that she had absolutely no +savings to be sucked down into the greedy +maw of the creature before me. My words +were evidently the echo to some statement +that had been already made to him. Naturally, +he believed neither his wife nor me.</p> + +<p>'It's an astonishing thing, then, that a +woman should leave her husband just to<span class="pagenum">[251]</span> +come and live like an old alms-house woman +in a tumble-down cottage fifty miles farther +than nowhere!'</p> + +<p>I said nothing; indeed, I could not share +his astonishment.</p> + +<p>He went on with rising bluster, and +louder, huskier voice.</p> + +<p>'And look here, if I hadn't heard this +great talk of your being such a gentleman, I +don't know whether I shouldn't feel it my +duty to call you to account.'</p> + +<p>I rose to my feet, unable to sit still, but at +once sat down again, afraid lest I might not +be able to resist the advantage a standing +position afforded for taking him by the collar +and removing him to the flower-beds outside.</p> + +<p>'You are at liberty to satisfy your marital +anxiety by making any inquiries you please,' +said I, and looked at the door.</p> + +<p>'Don't be affronted, it was only chaff,'<span class="pagenum">[252]</span> +said he. 'I know it's my daughter you're +after. I saw her sneak out of here just as I +came in by the back-way, as if ashamed to +look her father in the face.'</p> + +<p>'You d——d scoundrel! Get up and get +out of the house,' I hissed out in a flash of +uncontrollable rage.</p> + +<p>He got up, and even made one slow step +towards the door; but he did not go out, +nor did he seem afraid of me. He turned +deliberately when he was close to the screen, +and began to swing his walking-stick in the +old way I remembered, regardless of the +consequences in a room crowded with furniture +and ornaments. Then he looked into +his hat, and passed his hand thoughtfully +round the lining. I was still at a white heat +of indignation, but to lay violent hands on +this stodgy and unresisting person would +have been like football without the fun.</p> + +<p>'Look here,' he said, when we had stood<span class="pagenum">[253]</span> +in this unsatisfactory manner for some moments. +His eyes were fixed upon his hat, +round which his podgy hand still wandered. +'You're not taking me the right way. You +don't like me, I can see. Well, one gentleman +isn't bound to fly into the arms of +another gentleman first go-off. Not at all; +I don't expect it. I may like you, and I +may not like you; but I don't fly at your +throat and call you bad names by way of +introducing myself, even though I do find +my wife and daughter hiding away under the +shadow of your wing, as it were, from their +own husband and father.'</p> + +<p>Here he looked up at me sideways with a +slow nod, to emphasise the little lesson in +good breeding which his example afforded.</p> + +<p>Perceiving some show of reason in his +words, and some touch of more genuine +feeling in his manner, I said, 'Well!' and +leaned against the chimney-piece. With<span class="pagenum">[254]</span> +this encouragement he stepped back to the +hearthrug again, and while To-to half-strangled +himself in futile attempts to get +at his trousers, he addressed to me the +following discourse, with the forefinger of +his right hand upraised, and the dusty point +of his cane planted deeply in a satin cushion +which Babiole had embroidered for my +favourite chair.</p> + +<p>'Look here,' he said, and for once his dull +round eyes met mine with the straightforwardness +of an honest conviction. 'Full-grown +women are the devil. Either they're +good or they're bad. If they're bad—well, +we need say no more about them; if they're +good, why—the less said about their goodness +the better. But a young girl, before +she's learnt a woman's tricks—and especially +if she's your own flesh and blood—why that's +different! And my little girl, for all she +shows none too much affection for her father<span class="pagenum">[255]</span> +(but that's her mother's doing), she's a little +picture, and I'm proud of her. And if +any infernal cad of a d——d gentleman was +to be up to any nonsense with her, and +so much as to put his—hand on her +pretty little head—look here, Mr. What-d'ye-call-'em, +I'd make a d——d pulp of him!'</p> + +<p>And Mr. Ellmer gripped my coat with a +fierceness and looked into my face with a +resolution which, in spite of the coarseness +which had disfigured his speech, warmed my +heart towards him. For, instead of the +contemptible sodden cur of a few minutes ago, +it was a man,—degraded by his course of +life, but still a man, with a spark of the right +fire in his heart,—who stood blinking steadily +at me with a persistency which demanded an +answer.</p> + +<p>I freed my coat from his grasp, but without +any show of annoyance, and answered +him simply at once.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[256]</span></p> + +<p>'You won't have to make pulp of anybody +while your daughter lives at Ballater, Mr. +Ellmer. I have watched her grow from a +child into—into what she is now, something—to +us who love her—between a fairy and an +angel; and no father could take deeper +interest in his own child than I do in her.'</p> + +<p>'Deeper interest,' repeated Mr. Ellmer +dubiously; 'No; I daresay not. But, +excuse me, Mr.—Mr.——'</p> + +<p>'Maude.'</p> + +<p>'Yes, Mr. Maude, no offence to you, but +you're a man yourself, you know.'</p> + +<p>After the contumely with which he had +treated me, the admission seemed quite a +compliment. I made no attempt to deny it, +and this reticence emboldened him.</p> + +<p>'Now, why don't you marry her yourself?'</p> + +<p>To have the wish which has been secretly +gnawing at the foundations of your heart<span class="pagenum">[257]</span> +suddenly brought face to face with you is +a startling and confounding experience. I +think no convicted ruffian can ever have +looked more guiltily ashamed of himself than +I, as I felt the hot blood mount to my head, +and my brain swim with the first full consciousness +of a futile passion. Of course, +the man before me put the worst construction +upon my evident confusion; he repeated in +a louder and more blustering tone—</p> + +<p>'Why don't you marry her?'</p> + +<p>'In the first place,' said I quietly, 'she is +scarcely more than a child, Mr. Ellmer.'</p> + +<p>'That's not much of a fault, for she won't +improve as she loses it. Besides, you needn't +marry her at once.'</p> + +<p>'In the second place, I am quite sure she +wouldn't have me.'</p> + +<p>'Why not? She seems to like you.'</p> + +<p>'She does like me, as a beautiful girl may +like a grandfather, battered and scarred in<span class="pagenum">[258]</span> +war, or a homeless cur which she has picked +up and which has grown attached to her. +To be frank with you, Mr. Ellmer, nothing +but my ugly face prevents me from becoming +a suitor for your daughter; but that obstacle +is one which, without any undue self-depreciation, +I know to be one which makes +happy marriage impossible for me.'</p> + +<p>'I don't know,' said Mr. Ellmer, in a +tone of generous encouragement; 'good +looks don't always carry it off with the +women. Look at my wife, now: well, to be +sure, she was proud enough of getting me; +but, do you think the feeling lasted? No, I +might have been a one-eyed hunchback, sir, +before we'd been man and wife three months! +There's no knowing what those creatures will +like, let alone the fact that they never like +the same thing more than a week together—barring +a miracle.'</p> + +<p>And Mr. Ellmer looked at me, with his<span class="pagenum">[259]</span> +head a little on one side, as if expecting that +the narration of his experience would conclusively +affect my views on matrimony. As +I said nothing, however, being, indeed, too +much involved in a whirlpool of doubts and +longings and miserable certainties to have +any neatly-turned phrases ready with which +to carry on the conversation, he presently +cleared his throat and went on again.</p> + +<p>'You see,' he said, with an odd assumption +of paternal dignity, which covered some +genuine feeling as well as some genuine +humbug, 'it isn't often that I can spare the +time to take a journey as long as this. +Therefore, when I do, I like to see something +for my trouble. Well, and what I +mean to see this time is one of two things: +either I leave with the knowledge that my +daughter is engaged to be married to an +honourable gentleman who is able to support +her, and willing to be good to her, or I leave<span class="pagenum">[260]</span> +with my daughter herself, and I put her in +the way of earning her own living on the +stage, which is a more honourable position +than playing lodgekeeper to any gentleman +in the land.'</p> + +<p>'And you would take her mother with her, +of course?' I said, as easily as I could, with +a sudden gloomy misgiving that Babiole, +happy as she was among the hills, would +snatch at the chance of rushing into the +conflicts of the busier life in which she took +such an ominous interest.</p> + +<p>'Oh, she can do as she likes,' answered +Mr. Ellmer with a sudden return, at mention +of his wife, to sullen and brutal ferocity of +look and tone.</p> + +<p>I was horrorstruck at the possibility of +my little fairy choosing to leave the shelter +of the hillside under the protection of this +man, whose caprice of paternal pride and +affection might, I thought, at any moment of<span class="pagenum">[261]</span> +drunken irritation or disappointment, change +to the selfish cruelty with which he had +treated his hard-working wife.</p> + +<p>'Will you give me till to-morrow morning +to think about it, and to speak to Babiole, +Mr. Ellmer?' I asked, after a few moments' +rapid thought. 'In the meantime we will do +our best to make you comfortable, either +here or at the cottage. Of course, I cannot +prevent your saying what you please to your +daughter, but I hope you will, in fairness to +me, let me plead my own cause unbiassed by +one word from you. The subject is one I +know she has never dreamed of, and it will +surprise and may even startle her very much. +So that I may ask so much of you, and beg +you to rely on my discretion.'</p> + +<p>Mr. Ellmer seemed pleased with the +success of his diplomacy, and he offered me +a fat, pink, lazy hand to shake.</p> + +<p>'Say no more, sir; between gentlemen<span class="pagenum">[262]</span> +that is quite sufficient. And I should like to +add, sir, that if everything should turn out +as we both desire, you need have no fear of +being put upon by your wife's relations, whatever +Babiole's mother may say. The votaries +of Art, sir, are used to poverty, and need not +blush for it. But I should be glad to think +that my devotion to it had brought only its +dignity, and not its penalties, upon my +daughter.'</p> + +<p>I shook his hand heartily, almost feeling, +for the moment, so deep was his own conviction, +that this greasy person with the +paper collar—whose language and sentiments, +like an untuned musical instrument, +could rise and fall to such unexpected heights +and depths—was really treating me with a +generous condescension for which I ought to +be grateful.</p> + +<p>I accompanied him to the door, and +watched his ponderous figure making its way<span class="pagenum">[263]</span> +to the cottage, near the entrance of which I +saw his wife waiting for him; then I whistled +to Ta-ta, who had followed the stranger for +a few steps in order to get a better view of +his retreat, and, taking my hat, went down +the drive for a walk. It was past five, and +the April sun was shining out a fair good-night +to the hills after a day of rain; faint +tufts of pale green were showing on the dark +foliage of the larch-trees, and the daisies in +the soft grass were beginning to take heart +at the death of winter. One could think +better in the fresh spring-scented air than +between walls of solemn books. As for that, +though, my plan of action was already decided +on, and contemplation of it, even under +the inspiration of the perfume of the firs, and +the babble of the water over the stones of +the Dee, resulted in no improvement on my +first idea. This was no less than to make +a formal proposal to Babiole, which she must<span class="pagenum">[264]</span> +accept on the clear understanding that it was +to form no tie upon her, but which would +satisfy her father and allow her to remain +still in the safe shelter of this nook among +the hills. The girl was only fifteen, much too +young for any serious love-ventures of her +own, so that I argued that my engagement +to her would be merely a most loyal guardianship +which would reach its natural end when +the handsome young prince should break his +way through the enchanted forest and wake +her up with the traditional kiss. Hope for +myself, I can assuredly say, I had very little; +and, if this modesty seems excessive in a man +in the very prime of life, who, moreover, had +already some sort of assured place in the +esteem of the girl he loved, I can only say +that there was a balance against me in the +books of the sex which I was paying off to +this one member of it, and, therefore, in proportion +as I had felt myself to be too good<span class="pagenum">[265]</span> +for the rest of those I had met, so I felt that +Babiole Ellmer was too good for me. The +matter was arranged in my own mind with +very little trouble, and I was eager to unfold +it to her. I had half expected to find her in +the road through the fir-forest, knowing that +after the day's rain the little maid must be +thirsting for a long draught of the fresh +sweet air—but no; I passed through it and +out into the open country, over the stone +bridge of Muick, skirted the Dee and crossed +it again by Ballater Bridge into the village, +without a glimpse of her.</p> + +<p>The sun was getting low behind the hills +when I reached the western foot of Craigendarroch, +and, without a pause, began to climb +between the glistening branches of the budding +oak-trees up to the top. I had no +distinct purpose in coming so far, and the +faint bark of my own dog, which reached my +ears as I was ascending the bare and rocky<span class="pagenum">[266]</span> +space which separates the oak-grown lower +slope from the fir-crowned summit of the hill, +caused me to stop suddenly in surprise and +excitement so sharp and so sudden that all +the blood in my body seemed to rush to my +head, and my heart to continue its action by +unwonted, tumultuous leaps.</p> + +<p>I pulled myself together, not without some +consternation at the phenomenon.</p> + +<p>'I came up the hill too fast,' I said to +myself, and crept up the slabs of rock that +now formed a wet and slippery footway +among the firs, with a sensation of horror at +the thought of Babiole's trusting her little +feet on such a treacherous path.</p> + +<p>At the top, a little way beyond the cairn, +I came upon her suddenly. She was sitting +on the trunk of a fallen tree, looking out to +the western hills, across the slopes of which +were lying dense, cloud-like mists, white +against the blackness of the darkening hillsides.<span class="pagenum">[267]</span> +The last red rays of the sinking sun +threw upon her face a weird unnatural glow, +and caused her moist eyes to glisten like +strange gems in the sun-lit marble of her +still features. The wild sweet sadness of +her expression, like that of a gentle animal +who has been stricken, and does not know +why, brought a lump into my throat, and +caused me to halt at some distance from her +with a feeling of shy respect.</p> + +<p>Ta-ta, who sat by her side, with a sensitively-dilating +nose on the young girl's knee, +saw me at once, but merely wagged her tail +as an apologetic intimation that I must +excuse her from attendance on me, as she +had weightier business on hand than mere +idle frisking about my heels.</p> + +<p>But the movement in her companion attracted +Babiole's attention; she turned her +head, saw me, and started up.</p> + +<p>The spell was broken; she was in a<span class="pagenum">[268]</span> +moment the sweet smiling Babiole of every +day. But I could not so soon get over the +shock of the first sight of her face: I had +seemed to read vague prophecies in the wide +sad eyes. I smiled and held out my hand, +but I left it to her to open the conversation.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ep12.jpg" width="130" height="129" alt="" /> +</div> + +<hr class="chap" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum">[269]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/ch13.jpg" width="400" height="126" alt="" /> +</div> + +<h2 id="CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER XIII</h2> + +<p>'It's very nice up here, isn't it, Mr. Maude?' +Babiole said, after a few seconds' search for +an opening remark.</p> + +<p>'But it's much too late for you to be out +here by yourself.'</p> + +<p>'Yes. I had forgotten it was so late,' +she said humbly, with a sensitive blush at +my mild reproof. 'Poor mamma wanted to +be quiet, and told me to go out; so I came +here.'</p> + +<p>She was winding about her the thick plaid +she always carried when the weather was +cold; and this, when adjusted Highland +fashion across the shoulder, made her, in<span class="pagenum">[270]</span> +conjunction with the knitted Tam-o'-Shanter +cap she wore, a most picturesque and appropriate +figure among the dead heather and +the fir-trees.</p> + +<p>'You look like Helen M'Gregor,' said I, +smiling.</p> + +<p>She smiled back brightly, but shook her +head.</p> + +<p>'I haven't courage enough for myself, +much less enough to inspire anybody else +with,' she said rather sadly.</p> + +<p>'Courage is a thing you can't measure +until you have to use it. What makes you +think you have none, Babiole? I feel sure +you have a great deal.'</p> + +<p>She began to laugh, in the shyest, sweetest, +prettiest way; and, putting her hand on +the stout stick I carried, she twisted it round +and round in the earth, and looked up in my +face affectionately.</p> + +<p>'Yes, yes, I know. That is the way you<span class="pagenum">[271]</span> +always teach me. You told me I was intelligent +and industrious, until I began to be +both; and I daresay, if you were to tell me +long enough,—in your own kind way, helping +me on by your own strong wish,—that I +was brave, why I should become so. But +I'm not now.'</p> + +<p>'Tell me how you know that.'</p> + +<p>'Well, to-day I only heard of something +that—that would be very hard to bear, and I +broke down altogether.'</p> + +<p>'What was it?'</p> + +<p>No answer.</p> + +<p>'Was it something your father said?'</p> + +<p>She looked up with a flash of inquiry in +her eyes.</p> + +<p>'Was it something about your going +away from here?'</p> + +<p>She answered by a look only; a look that +was timid, mournful, affectionate, and that +had yet another element; for behind all this<span class="pagenum">[272]</span> +tenderness and softness, there danced the +restless yearning of an eager young spirit.</p> + +<p>'Well, and haven't I heard certain people +talking about the interesting things that go +on in the world, and hinting that Ballater +was a slow and tiresome old place, where +nothing ever happened worth mentioning?'</p> + +<p>She blushed and hung her head a moment, +and then began her defence in a very meek +voice.</p> + +<p>'I don't think I've really ever spoken so +ungratefully as that about dear old Ballater. +It's quite true that I should like to see a little +more of the big world outside some day, but +I think I could be content to hear what you +care to tell me about it for a year or two +longer first. The fact is, Mr. Maude,' she +went on, looking up at me with an altogether +irresistible smile of affection and sympathy, +'I could make up my mind to leave the hills, +but I can't make up my mind to leave you.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[273]</span></p> + +<p>What an opening! I began to shiver and +quake and to give signs of such unmistakable +nervousness that Babiole evidently thought I +was going to be taken with a fit of some sort. +She looked helplessly around, and I gave a +laugh like a schoolboy who comes too early +to his first ball.</p> + +<p>'I'm not ill, Babiole; I have something to +say to you.'</p> + +<p>Upon this she became nearly as much +disturbed as I, and the colour left her sensitive +face, as she sat mutely down on the tree-trunk +again to hear me.</p> + +<p>'I—don't want you to—go away—either—Babiole,' +I jerked out slowly and unsteadily. +'You are very young, and I think +you can afford to wait before seeing the +world,—if you are not tired of this place and +the people in it. Everybody here likes you, +I may say, loves you; and, at any rate, if the +life is not very exciting, it has no great cares.<span class="pagenum">[274]</span> +But your father, who does not know us so +well as you do, is reluctant to leave you here +without some sort of—of formal guarantee +for your safety.' Babiole looked up at me +from time to time in bewildered expectancy +of something new and awful.</p> + +<p>'Safety!' she echoed in an amazed +whisper.</p> + +<p>'Yes. Girls, when they grow to your +age, must have a—a responsible guardian, +you know. How old are you?'</p> + +<p>'I shall be sixteen in July.'</p> + +<p>'Well, you see, in a few years you will be +old enough to be married, and your father is +naturally anxious to see you well provided +for: established, you know, settled—in fact, +married.'</p> + +<p>Babiole was growing calmer. On reflection, +of course there was nothing so alarming +in the mention of a woman's natural end as +to justify the horror which one is accustomed<span class="pagenum">[275]</span> +to consider maidenly; but I was surprised at +the time to find that she listened to me so +quietly. I thought it would have helped me +more if she had shied at the subject, so to +speak; some little show of emotion of one +kind or another would have spurred me on +to make a better business of the whole thing +than I was doing. Her eyes, instead of +being raised from time to time inquiringly to +mine, were now fixed on the last faint glow +of sunlight behind the hills; but she said +nothing, and I had to go on.</p> + +<p>'He is so bent upon it, in fact, that he says +that, young as you are, he will only let you +remain here longer on one condition.'</p> + +<p>She looked up quickly, with a change of +expression which I took for that of vague +apprehension.</p> + +<p>'What condition?'</p> + +<p>'You must be engaged—affianced—to some +one he approves of before he leaves you.'</p><p><span class="pagenum">[276]</span></p> + +<p>Babiole began to laugh. 'But papa must +know that that is ridiculous. I am not a +princess, to make so much fuss about. Besides, +I am old enough, mamma says, to stay +with her if I like.'</p> + +<p>'We can't complain of your father for +thinking so much of you. And there is a +very simple way of satisfying him, if you +really do care to stay any longer at the old +cottage. Remember, your father could easily +persuade your mother to go away with him +if he were bent on having you; and then the +old life for her would begin again.'</p> + +<p>The girl rose to her feet in great excitement.</p> + +<p>'What is the simple way?'</p> + +<p>'You can become engaged to me.'</p> + +<p>I had not prepared her in the least, after +all. She did not start or speak, but I could +see by her face that she was utterly surprised. +I was afraid of a hasty refusal, and now<span class="pagenum">[277]</span> +screwed up to the pitch of daring, I hurried +on without further hesitation.</p> + +<p>'You know, Babiole, I am not asking you +to marry me now, or at any future time. +That must be for a handsomer, more dashing +fellow than I. But I want you to understand +that I am your guardian up to the time when +the dashing young fellow turns up; and till +then we will be just as we have always been. +You understand, child, that there is to be no +binding tie on you at all, nothing new except +the understanding that I am answerable to +your father for your safety and happiness. +Now, are you willing to have me?'</p> + +<p>I tried to put the question as a joke, but I +was much moved.</p> + +<p>She put her hand into mine without at first answering, +but her eyes were full of tears before I had ended.</p> + +<p>'I will do whatever you wish, now and +always, Mr. Maude,' she said so sweetly, so<span class="pagenum">[278]</span> +softly, that at once I began to realise the +peril to myself of what I had done, as a great +yearning seized me to draw the little creature +into my arms, and tell her what a poor chance +it was that she would ever find among the +fair-featured sons of men a slave so docile as +I would be for just the right to cherish her.</p> + +<p>I wish I had, now.</p> + +<p>Then, however, I only said, 'That's right,' +in a strangled voice; and we began to go +down the hill together. But I discovered +that this explanation, which was to have been +so small and simple a thing, had already +changed in some degree the character of our +intercourse. Babiole gave me her hand to +help her down, as freely and simply as she +had often done before; but it seemed to me +now that it was the hand of a fair young +woman, instead of the hand of a child. It +was some change in the girl herself, and not +in me, I felt sure, for I had been fully<span class="pagenum">[279]</span> +conscious of my own love and my own +longings ever since, on my return from Norway, +I had found her still with the sweet +flower-face, but with the form and shy proud +manner of a budding woman. I considered +this phenomenon as we crossed the wild bare +slope beneath the fir-trees, and as we found +our way through the growing darkness of the +oak branches, with the silver water shining +before us in the distance, and the mist +gathering about us as we went down. There +was no touch of coquetry about her manner +whereby I could take courage, but a very +pretty gravity which seemed to denote that +even such a poor thing as a temporary and +make-believe engagement to marry demanded +that one should put away childish things and +talk about the affairs of the nation.</p> + +<p>We both enjoyed that walk back to Larkhall +very much; she, because of the delicious +new sense of importance which our secret<span class="pagenum">[280]</span> +understanding gave her; I, because there +was now a link, however frail, between us, +and because I was already deep enough in +the mire to feel that there was but a maimed +poor creature in my place when she was out +of my sight. It was dark when we got into +the drive, and Mr. and Mrs. Ellmer were +both about, peering into bushes, and calling +their daughter in a futile way, rather to fill +up the time when their <i>tête-à-tête</i> palled, than +because they really expected to find her +under a rhododendron or a laurel.</p> + +<p>'I told you she was all right,' said the lady +sharply, as we came up.</p> + +<p>'Aha! Where have you been?' asked +her husband with ponderous roguery.</p> + +<p>'On Craigendarroch, papa,' answered +Babiole simply, letting her arm remain in +mine, this being the straightforward way I +had chosen of making known the result of +our meeting.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[281]</span></p> + +<p>Mrs. Ellmer was eager to break up the +party, and insisted that Babiole's boots must +be wet, and that she ought to come and +change them. But the artist had something +to say first.</p> + +<p>'She won't catch cold. She's been too +well employed, haven't you, Bab?' he asked, +seizing her by the arm, with a laugh that set +her blushing.</p> + +<p>I hastened to put a stop to this inquisition.</p> + +<p>'She will tell you all about it presently. +I think she had better go with her mother +now, while I speak to you, Mr. Ellmer.'</p> + +<p>He let her go, being in high good +humour, consequent upon the discovery and +appropriation of some whisky in his wife's +cupboard. I told him that his daughter had +consented to become engaged to me, and +assured him that I would do my best to make +her happy. He grew a little maudlin over +the hardship of parting with an only daughter,<span class="pagenum">[282]</span> +which, though rather far-fetched, was to be +expected; but he was genuinely glad that +she was well provided for, and took care to +point out to me with some shrewdness that +his pride in his daughter was perfectly disinterested, +as he had been so long a waif and +stray upon the world that the world was considered +by his relations as bound to support +him, even if he had not been, as he was, too +proud to accept from any man more than a +mount when he was footsore, or a drink when +he was thirsty.</p> + +<p>I began to feel quite sorry for the poor +beggar, and the feeling was increased later, in +spite of his causing me to pass a most uncomfortable +evening. They all came in to +see me after dinner. Mr. Ellmer watched +Babiole about with great pride, tried her +voice at the piano, on which he performed +with some taste, and declared that it was good +enough for grand opera. On the other hand<span class="pagenum">[283]</span> +he missed no opportunity of snubbing his wife +with ferocity, begged her not to skip, and +advised her to leave her juvenile ways to her +daughter. Poor Babiole spent the evening +in torture. At each word of extravagant +praise to herself she blushed uncomfortably; +at every unkind speech to her mother the +tears came to her eyes. In the climax of her +misery I bore a most unwilling share.</p> + +<p>I was bidding them all good-night on the +doorstep, and was shaking hands with +Babiole, when Mr. Ellmer, who had several +times during the evening disconcerted us +both by tactless reference to the supposed +excited state of our feelings, said jocularly, +that that was not the way sweethearts parted +when he was young. Ready to satisfy him, +but afraid to offend or frighten Babiole, I +laughed awkwardly and hesitated, while the +young girl blushed and tried, for the first +time, to withdraw her hand from mine.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[284]</span></p> + +<p>'Don't be affected, Bab,' said her father +roughly.</p> + +<p>I would have let her go, but at the sharp +words she shivered, and put up her face with +a sob of sensitive terror to mine. I stooped +and kissed her, and if she shrank from the +touch of my trembling lips, or the contact of +my hideous face with her fair cheek, at least +she felt none of the burning bitterness which +seemed to turn my very heart to gall, and the +caress of my hungry lips into a sting. For +the remembrance of the last fair girl I had +kissed, of the languid indifference which had +left her cold to my devotion, rushed into my +brain and gave added venom to this second +and more severe misfortune. She drew away +from me with a new timidity, and ran down +the steps after her mother, while Mr. Ellmer +smoked a last cigar with me in the garden, and +called upon me to condole with him, which, +in the disturbed state of thought and feeling<span class="pagenum">[285]</span> +I was in, I was ready enough to do. For +when he pitifully dilated on the life his acid-tempered +wife had led him, on the coldness +with which she had always repelled instead of +encouraged him, on the martyr-like airs with +which she had received his every attempt to +reform, I felt that I was ready to side with +the most worthless man living against the +most worthy woman, and listened sympathetically; +and when he pointed to the +dutifully subdued fear which shone in his +daughter's eyes, in answer to the gaze of his +own affection, I listened in silence to his +cynical conclusion:—</p> + +<p>'Women, they make you pay by the nose +either way, sir. If they're not honest, they +take it out of your pocket; if they're honest, +they take it out of your heart. But rob you, +one way or another, they all will to the +end.'</p> + +<p>And he went off to the cottage in a meek<span class="pagenum">[286]</span> +and maudlin manner, which made his subsequent +conduct a most bewildering surprise. +For, on the following morning, Mrs. Ellmer +was not to be seen, and, on her next appearance +in public some evenings later, it was +evident that her husband had made a forcible +appeal to her memory of old times by giving +her a black eye. In the meantime Babiole +was wild, shy and unapproachable by either +her father or me. This state of affairs being +untenable, and his wife's very small provision +of whisky exhausted, Mr. Ellmer in the +course of the afternoon took a dispirited farewell +of us, armed with a note to the stationmaster +at Aberdeen, which I explained would +obtain him a free railway-pass to London. +He thanked me for my courtesy, but was by +no means disarmed by it. In the midst of a +sentimental leave-taking, he suddenly flashed +up into ferocity as I reminded him that his +wife and daughter were well and safe with<span class="pagenum">[287]</span> +each other, which must be some comfort in +the prolonged absence from them which the +claims of Art forced upon him.</p> + +<p>'Well and safe!' he repeated, his face +resuming the brutal lowering look which had, +under the amenities of social intercourse, +sunk into a placid animal contentment. +'Yes, I should hope so. For I can tell +you it would be a bad time for those who +had anything to do with it when my little +girl was anything else but well and safe.'</p> + +<p>The man was in earnest,—genuine brutal +earnest. Without again offering me his hand, +and with merely a nod by way of last salutation, +he left me in the study, where we had +been holding this last interview, with impulsive +abruptness. I sat down and looked at +the fire, glad the man was gone, and thinking +no more of him, but of his fair little daughter, +and of the best means of effacing the uncomfortable +impression made by this violent and<span class="pagenum">[288]</span> +unwelcome irruption into our old harmonious +intercourse.</p> + +<p>I had been occupied thus about ten +minutes, disturbed by no sound but the +dashing of the rain of a sharp April shower +against the windows, when the hall-door was +pushed open again, and the hoarse gruff +voice I had hoped to hear no more broke +upon my unwilling ears again.</p> + +<p>'Come, no nonsense, aren't you safe with +your own father?' I heard Mr. Ellmer say +angrily, to the accompaniment of plaintive +pleadings and protests from Babiole, whom, +the next moment, he dragged in before me. +He had not waited for her to put on a hat, +but had thrown over her head her mother's +mackintosh, which he now pulled off, leaving +her pretty brown hair tumbling in disorder +about her eyes. She was pitifully shy and +unhappy, poor child, and she shrank back +with crimson cheeks as her father drew her<span class="pagenum">[289]</span> +arm firmly through his, and brought her +close up to me as I stood, in great anger +and perturbation, on the hearthrug.</p> + +<p>'Mr. Maude,' he said, 'you will excuse a +father's solicitude.'</p> + +<p>He had been making up that opening as +he came along I felt sure, from the pompous +effect with which he produced it. He raised +his hand as I was bursting into an angry +protest, and continued—</p> + +<p>'You have obtained my daughter's consent +and my consent to becoming her +affianced husband.' This, too, was a studied +phrase, brought out with pedantic decision. +'On that understanding I leave her +and her mother in this neighbourhood +with confidence, and I call upon you to +swear——'</p> + +<p>But here Babiole broke away from him, +and retreating quickly to the other side of the +table, out of reach of the rough paternal arm,<span class="pagenum">[290]</span> +she cried out, with burning cheeks and +flashing blue eyes—</p> + +<p>'Papa, you are insulting Mr. Maude, and +I can't listen. He has been the best friend +we ever had; nobody knows how good he +is; and now for you, who ought to thank +him,—honour him for what he has been to +us,—to talk as if you mistrusted him, as if +we mistrusted him,—Oh, it is too horrible! +I can't bear it! How can we stay here after +this? How, if we do stay here, can we +look him in the face? He is the best man +in all the world, and the kindest, and the +cleverest; and oh! you might have trusted +him, and not have brought this shame upon +us!'</p> + +<p>And the poor child crouched down upon +the nearest chair, and turned away her head +to hide her falling tears.</p> + +<p>Her father listened to this outburst with +unmoved pompous stolidity; but as she<span class="pagenum">[291]</span> +sank down, he looked from her to me with +a proud and satisfied glance, as much as to +say, 'Do you observe my daughter's exquisite +sensibility? This is one of the results of a +parent's devotion to Art.'</p> + +<p>'Mr. Ellmer, let me walk down the +drive with you,' said I hurriedly, quite +unmanned and nerveless at the sight of +the girl's distress. 'Surely, we can arrange +everything to your satisfaction by +ourselves.'</p> + +<p>'There I differ from you,' said he, doggedly +holding his ground, determined to +carry through to the end his own more +dramatic plan of settlement. 'I am a father, +Mr. Maude, and a father's sense of his duty +to his child must be respected. I am not +insensible that you have so far shown yourself +quite the gentleman.'</p> + +<p>Babiole, so to speak, curled up at this.</p> + +<p>'And therefore I have permitted this<span class="pagenum">[292]</span> +engagement. But I must have it plain that +I hold you responsible for my little girl's +happiness, and that if anything goes wrong +with her, it is you—you, Mr. Maude—who +will have to answer for it to me!'</p> + +<p>He spoke with savage earnestness which +impressed me, and struck terror into his +daughter, whom he kissed with genuinely +passionate tenderness on both cheeks.</p> + +<p>'Good-bye, Bab,' said he; 'be a good +girl, and don't grow too like your mother. +Don't be too sweet to the man you fancy till +he's your husband, and you'll have more +sweetness to spare for him then. Don't +believe your mother when she says your +father's nothing but a blackguard, for he'll +do more for you at a pinch than any of +your beaux. Good-bye, child. God bless +you!'</p> + +<p>She kissed him, trembling, with timid +affection answering to his tenderness<span class="pagenum">[293]</span>—</p> + +<p>'Good-bye, papa,' she said, and added in +a whisper, 'Won't you some day live with +mamma and me again? We would try to +make you happy, and I am learning to +understand all about Art.'</p> + +<p>'Ah, well, some day perhaps,' he said +hastily, and disengaged himself from her +twining arms.</p> + +<p>I thought he was going out without +any further greeting to me, but close to +the door he stopped, and giving me a +stolid frown, jerked his head slowly back +in the direction of his daughter; then, +with a menacing nod to remind me of +his warning, he left the room and the +house. A minute later I saw him blubbering,—there +is no other word for it,—like a +great overgrown child as he went down the +drive.</p> + +<p>I waited at the window on purpose to +give Babiole time to recover enough serenity<span class="pagenum">[294]</span> +to bridge over the awkwardness of the situation. +The startling necessity of the case +restored her to full self-command much +sooner than I had expected. After a very +few minutes, during which I heard her sobs +die away like a child's into silence, I ventured +to turn round, and found her with red +swollen eyelids and a very sad little face, +but perfectly calm. She rose from her chair +in quite a dignified way, and said—</p> + +<p>'We have kept you from your work, I am +afraid, Mr. Maude,' with the odd primness +which I could remember as one of her earliest +characteristics.</p> + +<p>'Not at all. I—I was not busy,' I +answered, with frozen stiffness.</p> + +<p>For the moment I dared not speak to her, +except under this ridiculous mask of frigidity; +such a lot of indiscreet emotions were bubbling +up in me, ready to burst into rash +speech at the first opening. She seemed a<span class="pagenum">[295]</span> +little dismayed by my coldness, and hung her +head in what I knew to be shame at her +father's clumsy show of mistrust.</p> + +<p>'Well, you shall have a little peace now at +least,' she said, without looking at me, as she +crossed to the door.</p> + +<p>'And to-day's lessons?' I asked rather +abruptly.</p> + +<p>'I think I will ask you to excuse me +to-day,' she said in a trembling voice.</p> + +<p>'Certainly,' said I, with an involuntary +bow, which caused her to look up and redden +at this unusual ceremoniousness.</p> + +<p>The old footing was, for a time at least, +completely destroyed.</p> + +<p>'Good-afternoon, Mr. Maude,' she said.</p> + +<p>'Good-afternoon,' I repeated.</p> + +<p>But, as she took another step and reached +the screen, her shy glance met mine; impulsively +she stretched out her hand. I +seized it, and for one brief minute we looked<span class="pagenum">[296]</span> +straight into each other's eyes with the +frank confidence of our old friendship: +the next, she had broken away, and I was +left alone with silent To-to and sympathetic +Ta-ta.</p> + +<p class="h3">END OF VOL. I</p> + +<p class="spacer"> </p> + +<p><i>G. C. & Co.</i></p> + +<p class="h4"><i>Printed by</i> <span class="smcap">R. & R. Clark</span>, <i>Edinburgh</i>.</p><p><span class="pagenum">[297]</span></p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's A Witch of the Hills, v. 1-2, by Florence Warden + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A WITCH OF THE HILLS, V. 1-2 *** + +***** This file should be named 38291-h.htm or 38291-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/2/9/38291/ + +Produced by Matthew Wheaton, Beginners Projects, and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net +(This file was produced from images generously made +available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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