1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
375
376
377
378
379
380
381
382
383
384
385
386
387
388
389
390
391
392
393
394
395
396
397
398
399
400
401
402
403
404
405
406
407
408
409
410
411
412
413
414
415
416
417
418
419
420
421
422
423
424
425
426
427
428
429
430
431
432
433
434
435
436
437
438
439
440
441
442
443
444
445
446
447
448
449
450
451
452
453
454
455
456
457
458
459
460
461
462
463
464
465
466
467
468
469
470
471
472
473
474
475
476
477
478
479
480
481
482
483
484
485
486
487
488
489
490
491
492
493
494
495
496
497
498
499
500
501
502
503
504
505
506
507
508
509
510
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531
532
533
534
535
536
537
538
539
540
541
542
543
544
545
546
547
548
549
550
551
552
553
554
555
556
557
558
559
560
561
562
563
564
565
566
567
568
569
570
571
572
573
574
575
576
577
578
579
580
581
582
583
584
585
586
587
588
589
590
591
592
593
594
595
596
597
598
599
600
601
602
603
604
605
606
607
608
609
610
611
612
613
614
615
616
617
618
619
620
621
622
623
624
625
626
627
628
629
630
631
632
633
634
635
636
637
638
639
640
641
642
643
644
645
646
647
648
649
650
651
652
653
654
655
656
657
658
659
660
661
662
663
664
665
666
667
668
669
670
671
672
673
674
675
676
677
678
679
680
681
682
683
684
685
686
687
688
689
690
691
692
693
694
695
696
697
698
699
700
701
702
703
704
705
706
707
708
709
710
711
712
713
714
715
716
717
718
719
720
721
722
723
724
725
726
727
728
729
730
731
732
733
734
735
736
737
738
739
740
741
742
743
744
745
746
747
748
749
750
751
752
753
754
755
756
757
758
759
760
761
762
763
764
765
766
767
768
769
770
771
772
773
774
775
776
777
778
779
780
781
782
783
784
785
786
787
788
789
790
791
792
793
794
795
796
797
798
799
800
801
802
803
804
805
806
807
808
809
810
811
812
813
814
815
816
817
818
819
820
821
822
823
824
825
826
827
828
829
830
831
832
833
834
835
836
837
838
839
840
841
842
843
844
845
846
847
848
849
850
851
852
853
854
855
856
857
858
859
860
861
862
863
864
865
866
867
868
869
870
871
872
873
874
875
876
877
878
879
880
881
882
883
884
885
886
887
888
889
890
891
892
893
894
895
896
897
898
899
900
901
902
903
904
905
906
907
908
909
910
911
912
913
914
915
916
917
918
919
920
921
922
923
924
925
926
927
928
929
930
931
932
933
934
935
936
937
938
939
940
941
942
943
944
945
946
947
948
949
950
951
952
953
954
955
956
957
958
959
960
961
962
963
964
965
966
967
968
969
970
971
972
973
974
975
976
977
978
979
980
981
982
983
984
985
986
987
988
989
990
991
992
993
994
995
996
997
998
999
1000
1001
1002
1003
1004
1005
1006
1007
1008
1009
1010
1011
1012
1013
1014
1015
1016
1017
1018
1019
1020
1021
1022
1023
1024
1025
1026
1027
1028
1029
1030
1031
1032
1033
1034
1035
1036
1037
1038
1039
1040
1041
1042
1043
1044
1045
1046
1047
1048
1049
1050
1051
1052
1053
1054
1055
1056
1057
1058
1059
1060
1061
1062
1063
1064
1065
1066
1067
1068
1069
1070
1071
1072
1073
1074
1075
1076
1077
1078
1079
1080
1081
1082
1083
1084
1085
1086
1087
1088
1089
1090
1091
1092
1093
1094
1095
1096
1097
1098
1099
1100
1101
1102
1103
1104
1105
1106
1107
1108
1109
1110
1111
1112
1113
1114
1115
1116
1117
1118
1119
1120
1121
1122
1123
1124
1125
1126
1127
1128
1129
1130
1131
1132
1133
1134
1135
1136
1137
1138
1139
1140
1141
1142
1143
1144
1145
1146
1147
1148
1149
1150
1151
1152
1153
1154
1155
1156
1157
1158
1159
1160
1161
1162
1163
1164
1165
1166
1167
1168
1169
1170
1171
1172
1173
1174
1175
1176
1177
1178
1179
1180
1181
1182
1183
1184
1185
1186
1187
1188
1189
1190
1191
1192
1193
1194
1195
1196
1197
1198
1199
1200
1201
1202
1203
1204
1205
1206
1207
1208
1209
1210
1211
1212
1213
1214
1215
1216
1217
1218
1219
1220
1221
1222
1223
1224
1225
1226
1227
1228
1229
1230
1231
1232
1233
1234
1235
1236
1237
1238
1239
1240
1241
1242
1243
1244
1245
1246
1247
1248
1249
1250
1251
1252
1253
1254
1255
1256
1257
1258
1259
1260
1261
1262
1263
1264
1265
1266
1267
1268
1269
1270
1271
1272
1273
1274
1275
1276
1277
1278
1279
1280
1281
1282
1283
1284
1285
1286
1287
1288
1289
1290
1291
1292
1293
1294
1295
1296
1297
1298
1299
1300
1301
1302
1303
1304
1305
1306
1307
1308
1309
1310
1311
1312
1313
1314
1315
1316
1317
1318
1319
1320
1321
1322
1323
1324
1325
1326
1327
1328
1329
1330
1331
1332
1333
1334
1335
1336
1337
1338
1339
1340
1341
1342
1343
1344
1345
1346
1347
1348
1349
1350
1351
1352
1353
1354
1355
1356
1357
1358
1359
1360
1361
1362
1363
1364
1365
1366
1367
1368
1369
1370
1371
1372
1373
1374
1375
1376
1377
1378
1379
1380
1381
1382
1383
1384
1385
1386
1387
1388
1389
1390
1391
1392
1393
1394
1395
1396
1397
1398
1399
1400
1401
1402
1403
1404
1405
1406
1407
1408
1409
1410
1411
1412
1413
1414
1415
1416
1417
1418
1419
1420
1421
1422
1423
1424
1425
1426
1427
1428
1429
1430
1431
1432
1433
1434
1435
1436
1437
1438
1439
1440
1441
1442
1443
1444
1445
1446
1447
1448
1449
1450
1451
1452
1453
1454
1455
1456
1457
1458
1459
1460
1461
1462
1463
1464
1465
1466
1467
1468
1469
1470
1471
1472
1473
1474
1475
1476
1477
1478
1479
1480
1481
1482
1483
1484
1485
1486
1487
1488
1489
1490
1491
1492
1493
1494
1495
1496
1497
1498
1499
1500
1501
1502
1503
1504
1505
1506
1507
1508
1509
1510
1511
1512
1513
1514
1515
1516
1517
1518
1519
1520
1521
1522
1523
1524
1525
1526
1527
1528
1529
1530
1531
1532
1533
1534
1535
1536
1537
1538
1539
1540
1541
1542
1543
1544
1545
1546
1547
1548
1549
1550
1551
1552
1553
1554
1555
1556
1557
1558
1559
1560
1561
1562
1563
1564
1565
1566
1567
1568
1569
1570
1571
1572
1573
1574
1575
1576
1577
1578
1579
1580
1581
1582
1583
1584
1585
1586
1587
1588
1589
1590
1591
1592
1593
1594
1595
1596
1597
1598
1599
1600
1601
1602
1603
1604
1605
1606
1607
1608
1609
1610
1611
1612
1613
1614
1615
1616
1617
1618
1619
1620
1621
1622
1623
1624
1625
1626
1627
1628
1629
1630
1631
1632
1633
1634
1635
1636
1637
1638
1639
1640
1641
1642
1643
1644
1645
1646
1647
1648
1649
1650
1651
1652
1653
1654
1655
1656
1657
1658
1659
1660
1661
1662
1663
1664
1665
1666
1667
1668
1669
1670
1671
1672
1673
1674
1675
1676
1677
1678
1679
1680
1681
1682
1683
1684
1685
1686
1687
1688
1689
1690
1691
1692
1693
1694
1695
1696
1697
1698
1699
1700
1701
1702
1703
1704
1705
1706
1707
1708
1709
1710
1711
1712
1713
1714
1715
1716
1717
1718
1719
1720
1721
1722
1723
1724
1725
1726
1727
1728
1729
1730
1731
1732
1733
1734
1735
1736
1737
1738
1739
1740
1741
1742
1743
1744
1745
1746
1747
1748
1749
1750
1751
1752
1753
1754
1755
1756
1757
1758
1759
1760
1761
1762
1763
1764
1765
1766
1767
1768
1769
1770
1771
1772
1773
1774
1775
1776
1777
1778
1779
1780
1781
1782
1783
1784
1785
1786
1787
1788
1789
1790
1791
1792
1793
1794
1795
1796
1797
1798
1799
1800
1801
1802
1803
1804
1805
1806
1807
1808
1809
1810
1811
1812
1813
1814
1815
1816
1817
1818
1819
1820
1821
1822
1823
1824
1825
1826
1827
1828
1829
1830
1831
1832
1833
1834
1835
1836
1837
1838
1839
1840
1841
1842
1843
1844
1845
1846
1847
1848
1849
1850
1851
1852
1853
1854
1855
1856
1857
1858
1859
1860
1861
1862
1863
1864
1865
1866
1867
1868
1869
1870
1871
1872
1873
1874
1875
1876
1877
1878
1879
1880
1881
1882
1883
1884
1885
1886
1887
1888
1889
1890
1891
1892
1893
1894
1895
1896
1897
1898
1899
1900
1901
1902
1903
1904
1905
1906
1907
1908
1909
1910
1911
1912
1913
1914
1915
1916
1917
1918
1919
1920
1921
1922
1923
1924
1925
1926
1927
1928
1929
1930
1931
1932
1933
1934
1935
1936
1937
1938
1939
1940
1941
1942
1943
1944
1945
1946
1947
1948
1949
1950
1951
1952
1953
1954
1955
1956
1957
1958
1959
1960
1961
1962
1963
1964
1965
1966
1967
1968
1969
1970
1971
1972
1973
1974
1975
1976
1977
1978
1979
1980
1981
1982
1983
1984
1985
1986
1987
1988
1989
1990
1991
1992
1993
1994
1995
1996
1997
1998
1999
2000
2001
2002
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
2008
2009
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
2020
2021
2022
2023
2024
2025
2026
2027
2028
2029
2030
2031
2032
2033
2034
2035
2036
2037
2038
2039
2040
2041
2042
2043
2044
2045
2046
2047
2048
2049
2050
2051
2052
2053
2054
2055
2056
2057
2058
2059
2060
2061
2062
2063
2064
2065
2066
2067
2068
2069
2070
2071
2072
2073
2074
2075
2076
2077
2078
2079
2080
2081
2082
2083
2084
2085
2086
2087
2088
2089
2090
2091
2092
2093
2094
2095
2096
2097
2098
2099
2100
2101
2102
2103
2104
2105
2106
2107
2108
2109
2110
2111
2112
2113
2114
2115
2116
2117
2118
2119
2120
2121
2122
2123
2124
2125
2126
2127
2128
2129
2130
2131
2132
2133
2134
2135
2136
2137
2138
2139
2140
2141
2142
2143
2144
2145
2146
2147
2148
2149
2150
2151
2152
2153
2154
2155
2156
2157
2158
2159
2160
2161
2162
2163
2164
2165
2166
2167
2168
2169
2170
2171
2172
2173
2174
2175
2176
2177
2178
2179
2180
2181
2182
2183
2184
2185
2186
2187
2188
2189
2190
2191
2192
2193
2194
2195
2196
2197
2198
2199
2200
2201
2202
2203
2204
2205
2206
2207
2208
2209
2210
2211
2212
2213
2214
2215
2216
2217
2218
2219
2220
2221
2222
2223
2224
2225
2226
2227
2228
2229
2230
2231
2232
2233
2234
2235
2236
2237
2238
2239
2240
2241
2242
2243
2244
2245
2246
2247
2248
2249
2250
2251
2252
2253
2254
2255
2256
2257
2258
2259
2260
2261
2262
2263
2264
2265
2266
2267
2268
2269
2270
2271
2272
2273
2274
2275
2276
2277
2278
2279
2280
2281
2282
2283
2284
2285
2286
2287
2288
2289
2290
2291
2292
2293
2294
2295
2296
2297
2298
2299
2300
2301
2302
2303
2304
2305
2306
2307
2308
2309
2310
2311
2312
2313
2314
2315
2316
2317
2318
2319
2320
2321
2322
2323
2324
2325
2326
2327
2328
2329
2330
2331
2332
2333
2334
2335
2336
2337
2338
2339
2340
2341
2342
2343
2344
2345
2346
2347
2348
2349
2350
2351
2352
2353
2354
2355
2356
2357
2358
2359
2360
2361
2362
2363
2364
2365
2366
2367
2368
2369
2370
2371
2372
2373
2374
2375
2376
2377
2378
2379
2380
2381
2382
2383
2384
2385
2386
2387
2388
2389
2390
2391
2392
2393
2394
2395
2396
2397
2398
2399
2400
2401
2402
2403
2404
2405
2406
2407
2408
2409
2410
2411
2412
2413
2414
2415
2416
2417
2418
2419
2420
2421
2422
2423
2424
2425
2426
2427
2428
2429
2430
2431
2432
2433
2434
2435
2436
2437
2438
2439
2440
2441
2442
2443
2444
2445
2446
2447
2448
2449
2450
2451
2452
2453
2454
2455
2456
2457
2458
2459
2460
2461
2462
2463
2464
2465
2466
2467
2468
2469
2470
2471
2472
2473
2474
2475
2476
2477
2478
2479
2480
2481
2482
2483
2484
2485
2486
2487
2488
2489
2490
2491
2492
2493
2494
2495
2496
2497
2498
2499
2500
2501
2502
2503
2504
2505
2506
2507
2508
2509
2510
2511
2512
2513
2514
2515
2516
2517
2518
2519
2520
2521
2522
2523
2524
2525
2526
2527
2528
2529
2530
2531
2532
2533
2534
2535
2536
2537
2538
2539
2540
2541
2542
2543
2544
2545
2546
2547
2548
2549
2550
2551
2552
2553
2554
2555
2556
2557
2558
2559
2560
2561
2562
2563
2564
2565
2566
2567
2568
2569
2570
2571
2572
2573
2574
2575
2576
2577
2578
2579
2580
2581
2582
2583
2584
2585
2586
2587
2588
2589
2590
2591
2592
2593
2594
2595
2596
2597
2598
2599
2600
2601
2602
2603
2604
2605
2606
2607
2608
2609
2610
2611
2612
2613
2614
2615
2616
2617
2618
2619
2620
2621
2622
2623
2624
2625
2626
2627
2628
2629
2630
2631
2632
2633
2634
2635
2636
2637
2638
2639
2640
2641
2642
2643
2644
2645
2646
2647
2648
2649
2650
2651
2652
2653
2654
2655
2656
2657
2658
2659
2660
2661
2662
2663
2664
2665
2666
2667
2668
2669
2670
2671
2672
2673
2674
2675
2676
2677
2678
2679
2680
2681
2682
2683
2684
2685
2686
2687
2688
2689
2690
2691
2692
2693
2694
2695
2696
2697
2698
2699
2700
2701
2702
2703
2704
2705
2706
2707
2708
2709
2710
2711
2712
2713
2714
2715
2716
2717
2718
2719
2720
2721
2722
2723
2724
2725
2726
2727
2728
2729
2730
2731
2732
2733
2734
2735
2736
2737
2738
2739
2740
2741
2742
2743
2744
2745
2746
2747
2748
2749
2750
2751
2752
2753
2754
2755
2756
2757
2758
2759
2760
2761
2762
2763
2764
2765
2766
2767
2768
2769
2770
2771
2772
2773
2774
2775
2776
2777
2778
2779
2780
2781
2782
2783
2784
2785
2786
2787
2788
2789
2790
2791
2792
2793
2794
2795
2796
2797
2798
2799
2800
2801
2802
2803
2804
2805
2806
2807
2808
2809
2810
2811
2812
2813
2814
2815
2816
2817
2818
2819
2820
2821
2822
2823
2824
2825
2826
2827
2828
2829
2830
2831
2832
2833
2834
2835
2836
2837
2838
2839
2840
2841
2842
2843
2844
2845
2846
2847
2848
2849
2850
2851
2852
2853
2854
2855
2856
2857
2858
2859
2860
2861
2862
2863
2864
2865
2866
2867
2868
2869
2870
2871
2872
2873
2874
2875
2876
2877
2878
2879
2880
2881
2882
2883
2884
2885
2886
2887
2888
2889
2890
2891
2892
2893
2894
2895
2896
2897
2898
2899
2900
2901
2902
2903
2904
2905
2906
2907
2908
2909
2910
2911
2912
2913
2914
2915
2916
2917
2918
2919
2920
2921
2922
2923
2924
2925
2926
2927
2928
2929
2930
2931
2932
2933
2934
2935
2936
2937
2938
2939
2940
2941
2942
2943
2944
2945
2946
2947
2948
2949
2950
2951
2952
2953
2954
2955
2956
2957
2958
2959
2960
2961
2962
2963
2964
2965
2966
2967
2968
2969
2970
2971
2972
2973
2974
2975
2976
2977
2978
2979
2980
2981
2982
2983
2984
2985
2986
2987
2988
2989
2990
2991
2992
2993
2994
2995
2996
2997
2998
2999
3000
3001
3002
3003
3004
3005
3006
3007
3008
3009
3010
3011
3012
3013
3014
3015
3016
3017
3018
3019
3020
3021
3022
3023
3024
3025
3026
3027
3028
3029
3030
3031
3032
3033
3034
3035
3036
3037
3038
3039
3040
3041
3042
3043
3044
3045
3046
3047
3048
3049
3050
3051
3052
3053
3054
3055
3056
3057
3058
3059
3060
3061
3062
3063
3064
3065
3066
3067
3068
3069
3070
3071
3072
3073
3074
3075
3076
3077
3078
3079
3080
3081
3082
3083
3084
3085
3086
3087
3088
3089
3090
3091
3092
3093
3094
3095
3096
3097
3098
3099
3100
3101
3102
3103
3104
3105
3106
3107
3108
3109
3110
3111
3112
3113
3114
3115
3116
3117
3118
3119
3120
3121
3122
3123
3124
3125
3126
3127
3128
3129
3130
3131
3132
3133
3134
3135
3136
3137
3138
3139
3140
3141
3142
3143
3144
3145
3146
3147
3148
3149
3150
3151
3152
3153
3154
3155
3156
3157
3158
3159
3160
3161
3162
3163
3164
3165
3166
3167
3168
3169
3170
3171
3172
3173
3174
3175
3176
3177
3178
3179
3180
3181
3182
3183
3184
3185
3186
3187
3188
3189
3190
3191
3192
3193
3194
3195
3196
3197
3198
3199
3200
3201
3202
3203
3204
3205
3206
3207
3208
3209
3210
3211
3212
3213
3214
3215
3216
3217
3218
3219
3220
3221
3222
3223
3224
3225
3226
3227
3228
3229
3230
3231
3232
3233
3234
3235
3236
3237
3238
3239
3240
3241
3242
3243
3244
3245
3246
3247
3248
3249
3250
3251
3252
3253
3254
3255
3256
3257
3258
3259
3260
3261
3262
3263
3264
3265
3266
3267
3268
3269
3270
3271
3272
3273
3274
3275
3276
3277
3278
3279
3280
3281
3282
3283
3284
3285
3286
3287
3288
3289
3290
3291
3292
3293
3294
3295
3296
3297
3298
3299
3300
3301
3302
3303
3304
3305
3306
3307
3308
3309
3310
3311
3312
3313
3314
3315
3316
3317
3318
3319
3320
3321
3322
3323
3324
3325
3326
3327
3328
3329
3330
3331
3332
3333
3334
3335
3336
3337
3338
3339
3340
3341
3342
3343
3344
3345
3346
3347
3348
3349
3350
3351
3352
3353
3354
3355
3356
3357
3358
3359
3360
3361
3362
3363
3364
3365
3366
3367
3368
3369
3370
3371
3372
3373
3374
3375
3376
3377
3378
3379
3380
3381
3382
3383
3384
3385
3386
3387
3388
3389
3390
3391
3392
3393
3394
3395
3396
3397
3398
3399
3400
3401
3402
3403
3404
3405
3406
3407
3408
3409
3410
3411
3412
3413
3414
3415
3416
3417
3418
3419
3420
3421
3422
3423
3424
3425
3426
3427
3428
3429
3430
3431
3432
3433
3434
3435
3436
3437
3438
3439
3440
3441
3442
3443
3444
3445
3446
3447
3448
3449
3450
3451
3452
3453
3454
3455
3456
3457
3458
3459
3460
3461
3462
3463
3464
3465
3466
3467
3468
3469
3470
3471
3472
3473
3474
3475
3476
3477
3478
3479
3480
3481
3482
3483
3484
3485
3486
3487
3488
3489
3490
3491
3492
3493
3494
3495
3496
3497
3498
3499
3500
3501
3502
3503
3504
3505
3506
3507
3508
3509
3510
3511
3512
3513
3514
3515
3516
3517
3518
3519
3520
3521
3522
3523
3524
3525
3526
3527
3528
3529
3530
3531
3532
3533
3534
3535
3536
3537
3538
3539
3540
3541
3542
3543
3544
3545
3546
3547
3548
3549
3550
3551
3552
3553
3554
3555
3556
3557
3558
3559
3560
3561
3562
3563
3564
3565
3566
3567
3568
3569
3570
3571
3572
3573
3574
3575
3576
3577
3578
3579
3580
3581
3582
3583
3584
3585
3586
3587
3588
3589
3590
3591
3592
3593
3594
3595
3596
3597
3598
3599
3600
3601
3602
3603
3604
3605
3606
3607
3608
3609
3610
3611
3612
3613
3614
3615
3616
3617
3618
3619
3620
3621
3622
3623
3624
3625
3626
3627
3628
3629
3630
3631
3632
3633
3634
3635
3636
3637
3638
3639
3640
3641
3642
3643
3644
3645
3646
3647
3648
3649
3650
3651
3652
3653
3654
3655
3656
3657
3658
3659
3660
3661
3662
3663
3664
3665
3666
3667
3668
3669
3670
3671
3672
3673
3674
3675
3676
3677
3678
3679
3680
3681
3682
3683
3684
3685
3686
3687
3688
3689
3690
3691
3692
3693
3694
3695
3696
3697
3698
3699
3700
3701
3702
3703
3704
3705
3706
3707
3708
3709
3710
3711
3712
3713
3714
3715
3716
3717
3718
3719
3720
3721
3722
3723
3724
3725
3726
3727
3728
3729
3730
3731
3732
3733
3734
3735
3736
3737
3738
3739
3740
3741
3742
3743
3744
3745
3746
3747
3748
3749
3750
3751
3752
3753
3754
3755
3756
3757
3758
3759
3760
3761
3762
3763
3764
3765
3766
3767
3768
3769
3770
3771
3772
3773
3774
3775
3776
3777
3778
3779
3780
3781
3782
3783
3784
3785
3786
3787
3788
3789
3790
3791
3792
3793
3794
3795
3796
3797
3798
3799
3800
3801
3802
3803
3804
3805
3806
3807
3808
3809
3810
3811
3812
3813
3814
3815
3816
3817
3818
3819
3820
3821
3822
3823
3824
3825
3826
3827
3828
3829
3830
3831
3832
3833
3834
3835
3836
3837
3838
3839
3840
3841
3842
3843
3844
3845
3846
3847
3848
3849
3850
3851
3852
3853
3854
3855
3856
3857
3858
3859
3860
3861
3862
3863
3864
3865
3866
3867
3868
3869
3870
3871
3872
3873
3874
3875
3876
3877
3878
3879
3880
3881
3882
3883
3884
3885
3886
3887
3888
3889
3890
3891
3892
3893
3894
3895
3896
3897
3898
3899
3900
3901
3902
3903
3904
3905
3906
3907
3908
3909
3910
3911
3912
3913
3914
3915
3916
3917
3918
3919
3920
3921
3922
3923
3924
3925
3926
3927
3928
3929
3930
3931
3932
3933
3934
3935
3936
3937
3938
3939
3940
3941
3942
3943
3944
3945
3946
3947
3948
3949
3950
3951
3952
3953
3954
3955
3956
3957
3958
3959
3960
3961
3962
3963
3964
3965
3966
3967
3968
3969
3970
3971
3972
3973
3974
3975
3976
3977
3978
3979
3980
3981
3982
3983
3984
3985
3986
3987
3988
3989
3990
3991
3992
3993
3994
3995
3996
3997
3998
3999
4000
4001
4002
4003
4004
4005
4006
4007
4008
4009
4010
4011
4012
4013
4014
4015
4016
4017
4018
4019
4020
4021
4022
4023
4024
4025
4026
4027
4028
4029
4030
4031
4032
4033
4034
4035
4036
4037
4038
4039
4040
4041
4042
4043
4044
4045
4046
4047
4048
4049
4050
4051
4052
4053
4054
4055
4056
4057
4058
4059
4060
4061
4062
4063
4064
4065
4066
4067
4068
4069
4070
4071
4072
4073
4074
4075
4076
4077
4078
4079
4080
4081
4082
4083
4084
4085
4086
4087
4088
4089
4090
4091
4092
4093
4094
4095
4096
4097
4098
4099
4100
4101
4102
4103
4104
4105
4106
4107
4108
4109
4110
4111
4112
4113
4114
4115
4116
4117
4118
4119
4120
4121
4122
4123
4124
4125
4126
4127
4128
4129
4130
4131
4132
4133
4134
4135
4136
4137
4138
4139
4140
4141
4142
4143
4144
4145
4146
4147
4148
4149
4150
4151
4152
4153
4154
4155
4156
4157
4158
4159
4160
4161
4162
4163
4164
4165
4166
4167
4168
4169
4170
4171
4172
4173
4174
4175
4176
4177
4178
4179
4180
4181
4182
4183
4184
4185
4186
4187
4188
4189
4190
4191
4192
4193
4194
4195
4196
4197
4198
4199
4200
4201
4202
4203
4204
4205
4206
4207
4208
4209
4210
4211
4212
4213
4214
4215
4216
4217
4218
4219
4220
4221
4222
4223
4224
4225
4226
4227
4228
4229
4230
4231
4232
4233
4234
4235
4236
4237
4238
4239
4240
4241
4242
4243
4244
4245
4246
4247
4248
4249
4250
4251
4252
4253
4254
4255
4256
4257
4258
4259
4260
4261
4262
4263
4264
4265
4266
4267
4268
4269
4270
4271
4272
4273
4274
4275
4276
4277
4278
4279
4280
4281
4282
4283
4284
4285
4286
4287
4288
4289
4290
4291
4292
4293
4294
4295
4296
4297
4298
4299
4300
4301
4302
4303
4304
4305
4306
4307
4308
4309
4310
4311
4312
4313
4314
4315
4316
4317
4318
4319
4320
4321
4322
4323
4324
4325
4326
4327
4328
4329
4330
4331
4332
4333
4334
4335
4336
4337
4338
4339
4340
4341
4342
4343
4344
4345
4346
4347
4348
4349
4350
4351
4352
4353
4354
4355
4356
4357
4358
4359
4360
4361
4362
4363
4364
4365
4366
4367
4368
4369
4370
4371
4372
4373
4374
4375
4376
4377
4378
4379
4380
4381
4382
4383
4384
4385
4386
4387
4388
4389
4390
4391
4392
4393
4394
4395
4396
4397
4398
4399
4400
4401
4402
4403
4404
4405
4406
4407
4408
4409
4410
4411
4412
4413
4414
4415
4416
4417
4418
4419
4420
4421
4422
4423
4424
4425
4426
4427
4428
4429
4430
4431
4432
4433
4434
4435
4436
4437
4438
4439
4440
4441
4442
4443
4444
4445
4446
4447
4448
4449
4450
4451
4452
4453
4454
4455
4456
4457
4458
4459
4460
4461
4462
4463
4464
4465
4466
4467
4468
4469
4470
4471
4472
4473
4474
4475
4476
4477
4478
4479
4480
4481
4482
4483
4484
4485
4486
4487
4488
4489
4490
4491
4492
4493
4494
4495
4496
4497
4498
4499
4500
4501
4502
4503
4504
4505
4506
4507
4508
4509
4510
4511
4512
4513
4514
4515
4516
4517
4518
4519
4520
4521
4522
4523
4524
4525
4526
4527
4528
4529
4530
4531
4532
4533
4534
4535
4536
4537
4538
4539
4540
4541
4542
4543
4544
4545
4546
4547
4548
4549
4550
4551
4552
4553
4554
4555
4556
4557
4558
4559
4560
4561
4562
4563
4564
4565
4566
4567
4568
4569
4570
4571
4572
4573
4574
4575
4576
4577
4578
4579
4580
4581
4582
4583
4584
4585
4586
4587
4588
4589
4590
4591
4592
4593
4594
4595
4596
4597
4598
4599
4600
4601
4602
4603
4604
4605
4606
4607
4608
4609
4610
4611
4612
4613
4614
4615
4616
4617
4618
4619
4620
4621
4622
4623
4624
4625
4626
4627
4628
4629
4630
4631
4632
4633
4634
4635
4636
4637
4638
4639
4640
4641
4642
4643
4644
4645
4646
4647
4648
4649
4650
4651
4652
4653
4654
4655
4656
4657
4658
4659
4660
4661
4662
4663
4664
4665
4666
4667
4668
4669
4670
4671
4672
4673
4674
4675
4676
4677
4678
4679
4680
4681
4682
4683
4684
4685
4686
4687
4688
4689
4690
4691
4692
4693
4694
4695
4696
4697
4698
4699
4700
4701
4702
4703
4704
4705
4706
4707
4708
4709
4710
4711
4712
4713
4714
4715
4716
4717
4718
4719
4720
4721
4722
4723
4724
4725
4726
4727
4728
4729
4730
4731
4732
4733
4734
4735
4736
4737
4738
4739
4740
4741
4742
4743
4744
4745
4746
4747
4748
4749
4750
4751
4752
4753
4754
4755
4756
4757
4758
4759
4760
4761
4762
4763
4764
4765
4766
4767
4768
4769
4770
4771
4772
4773
4774
4775
4776
4777
4778
4779
4780
4781
4782
4783
4784
4785
4786
4787
4788
4789
4790
4791
4792
4793
4794
4795
4796
4797
4798
4799
4800
4801
4802
4803
4804
4805
4806
4807
4808
4809
4810
4811
4812
4813
4814
4815
4816
4817
4818
4819
4820
4821
4822
4823
4824
4825
4826
4827
4828
4829
4830
4831
4832
4833
4834
4835
4836
4837
4838
4839
4840
4841
4842
4843
4844
4845
4846
4847
4848
4849
4850
4851
4852
4853
4854
4855
4856
4857
4858
4859
4860
4861
4862
4863
4864
4865
4866
4867
4868
4869
4870
4871
4872
4873
4874
4875
4876
4877
4878
4879
4880
4881
4882
4883
4884
4885
4886
4887
4888
4889
4890
4891
4892
4893
4894
4895
4896
4897
4898
4899
4900
4901
4902
4903
4904
4905
4906
4907
4908
4909
4910
4911
4912
4913
4914
4915
4916
4917
4918
4919
4920
4921
4922
4923
4924
4925
4926
4927
4928
4929
4930
4931
4932
4933
4934
4935
4936
4937
4938
4939
4940
4941
4942
4943
4944
4945
4946
4947
4948
4949
4950
4951
4952
4953
4954
4955
4956
4957
4958
4959
4960
4961
4962
4963
4964
4965
4966
4967
4968
4969
4970
4971
4972
4973
4974
4975
4976
4977
4978
4979
4980
4981
4982
4983
4984
4985
4986
4987
4988
4989
4990
4991
4992
4993
4994
4995
4996
4997
4998
4999
5000
5001
5002
5003
5004
5005
5006
5007
5008
5009
5010
5011
5012
5013
5014
5015
5016
5017
5018
5019
5020
5021
5022
5023
5024
5025
5026
5027
5028
5029
5030
5031
5032
5033
5034
5035
5036
5037
5038
5039
5040
5041
5042
5043
5044
5045
5046
5047
5048
5049
5050
5051
5052
5053
5054
5055
5056
5057
5058
5059
5060
5061
5062
5063
5064
5065
5066
5067
5068
5069
5070
5071
5072
5073
5074
5075
5076
5077
5078
5079
5080
5081
5082
5083
5084
5085
5086
5087
5088
5089
5090
5091
5092
5093
5094
5095
5096
5097
5098
5099
5100
5101
5102
5103
5104
5105
5106
5107
5108
5109
5110
5111
5112
5113
5114
5115
5116
5117
5118
5119
5120
5121
5122
5123
5124
5125
5126
5127
5128
5129
5130
5131
5132
5133
5134
5135
5136
5137
5138
5139
5140
5141
5142
5143
5144
5145
5146
5147
5148
5149
5150
5151
5152
5153
5154
5155
5156
5157
5158
5159
5160
5161
5162
5163
5164
5165
5166
5167
5168
5169
5170
5171
5172
5173
5174
5175
5176
5177
5178
5179
5180
5181
5182
5183
5184
5185
5186
5187
5188
5189
5190
5191
5192
5193
5194
5195
5196
5197
5198
5199
5200
5201
5202
5203
5204
5205
5206
5207
5208
5209
5210
5211
5212
5213
5214
5215
5216
5217
5218
5219
5220
5221
5222
5223
5224
5225
5226
5227
5228
5229
5230
5231
5232
5233
5234
5235
5236
5237
5238
5239
5240
5241
5242
5243
5244
5245
5246
5247
5248
5249
5250
5251
5252
5253
5254
5255
5256
5257
5258
5259
5260
5261
5262
5263
5264
5265
5266
5267
5268
5269
5270
5271
5272
5273
5274
5275
5276
5277
5278
5279
5280
5281
5282
5283
5284
5285
5286
5287
5288
5289
5290
5291
5292
5293
5294
5295
5296
5297
5298
5299
5300
5301
5302
5303
5304
5305
5306
5307
5308
5309
5310
5311
5312
5313
5314
5315
5316
5317
5318
5319
5320
5321
5322
5323
5324
5325
5326
5327
5328
5329
5330
5331
5332
5333
5334
5335
5336
5337
5338
5339
5340
5341
5342
5343
5344
5345
5346
5347
5348
5349
5350
5351
5352
5353
5354
5355
5356
5357
5358
5359
5360
5361
5362
5363
5364
5365
5366
5367
5368
5369
5370
5371
5372
5373
5374
5375
5376
5377
5378
5379
5380
5381
5382
5383
5384
5385
5386
5387
5388
5389
5390
5391
5392
5393
5394
5395
5396
5397
5398
5399
5400
5401
5402
5403
5404
5405
5406
5407
5408
5409
5410
5411
5412
5413
5414
5415
5416
5417
5418
5419
5420
5421
5422
5423
5424
5425
5426
5427
5428
5429
5430
5431
5432
5433
5434
5435
5436
5437
5438
5439
5440
5441
5442
5443
5444
5445
5446
5447
5448
5449
5450
5451
5452
5453
5454
5455
5456
5457
5458
5459
5460
5461
5462
5463
5464
5465
5466
5467
5468
5469
5470
5471
5472
5473
5474
5475
5476
5477
5478
5479
5480
5481
5482
5483
5484
5485
5486
5487
5488
5489
5490
5491
5492
5493
5494
5495
5496
5497
5498
5499
5500
5501
5502
5503
5504
5505
5506
5507
5508
5509
5510
5511
5512
5513
5514
5515
5516
5517
5518
5519
5520
5521
5522
5523
5524
5525
5526
5527
5528
5529
5530
5531
5532
5533
5534
5535
5536
5537
5538
5539
5540
5541
5542
5543
5544
5545
5546
5547
5548
5549
5550
5551
5552
5553
5554
5555
5556
5557
5558
5559
5560
5561
5562
5563
5564
5565
5566
5567
5568
5569
5570
5571
5572
5573
5574
5575
5576
5577
5578
5579
5580
5581
5582
5583
5584
5585
5586
5587
5588
5589
5590
5591
5592
5593
5594
5595
5596
5597
5598
5599
5600
5601
5602
5603
5604
5605
5606
5607
5608
5609
5610
5611
5612
5613
5614
5615
5616
5617
5618
5619
5620
5621
5622
5623
5624
5625
5626
5627
5628
5629
5630
5631
5632
5633
5634
5635
5636
5637
5638
5639
5640
5641
5642
5643
5644
5645
5646
5647
5648
5649
5650
5651
5652
5653
5654
5655
5656
5657
5658
5659
5660
5661
5662
5663
5664
5665
5666
5667
5668
5669
5670
5671
5672
5673
5674
5675
5676
5677
5678
5679
5680
5681
5682
5683
5684
5685
5686
5687
5688
5689
5690
5691
5692
5693
5694
5695
5696
5697
5698
5699
5700
5701
5702
5703
5704
5705
5706
5707
5708
5709
5710
5711
5712
5713
5714
5715
5716
5717
5718
5719
5720
5721
5722
5723
5724
5725
5726
5727
5728
5729
5730
5731
5732
5733
5734
5735
5736
5737
5738
5739
5740
5741
5742
5743
5744
5745
5746
5747
5748
5749
5750
5751
5752
5753
5754
5755
5756
5757
5758
5759
5760
5761
5762
5763
5764
5765
5766
5767
5768
5769
5770
5771
5772
5773
5774
5775
5776
5777
5778
5779
5780
5781
5782
5783
5784
5785
5786
5787
5788
5789
5790
5791
5792
5793
5794
5795
5796
5797
5798
5799
5800
5801
5802
5803
5804
5805
5806
5807
5808
5809
5810
5811
5812
5813
5814
5815
5816
5817
5818
5819
5820
5821
5822
5823
5824
5825
5826
5827
5828
5829
5830
5831
5832
5833
5834
5835
5836
5837
5838
5839
5840
5841
5842
5843
5844
5845
5846
5847
5848
5849
5850
5851
5852
5853
5854
5855
5856
5857
5858
5859
5860
5861
5862
5863
5864
5865
5866
5867
5868
5869
5870
5871
5872
5873
5874
5875
5876
5877
5878
5879
5880
5881
5882
5883
5884
5885
5886
5887
5888
5889
5890
5891
5892
5893
5894
5895
5896
5897
5898
5899
5900
5901
5902
5903
5904
5905
5906
5907
5908
5909
5910
5911
5912
5913
5914
5915
5916
5917
5918
5919
5920
5921
5922
5923
5924
5925
5926
5927
5928
5929
5930
5931
5932
5933
5934
5935
5936
5937
5938
5939
5940
5941
5942
5943
5944
5945
5946
5947
5948
5949
5950
5951
5952
5953
5954
5955
5956
5957
5958
5959
5960
5961
5962
5963
5964
5965
5966
5967
5968
5969
5970
5971
5972
5973
5974
5975
5976
5977
5978
5979
5980
5981
5982
5983
5984
5985
5986
5987
5988
5989
5990
5991
5992
5993
5994
5995
5996
5997
5998
5999
6000
6001
6002
6003
6004
6005
6006
6007
6008
6009
6010
6011
6012
6013
6014
6015
6016
6017
6018
6019
6020
6021
6022
6023
6024
6025
6026
6027
6028
6029
6030
6031
6032
6033
6034
6035
6036
6037
6038
6039
6040
6041
6042
6043
6044
6045
6046
6047
6048
6049
6050
6051
6052
6053
6054
6055
6056
6057
6058
6059
6060
6061
6062
6063
6064
6065
6066
6067
6068
6069
6070
6071
6072
6073
6074
6075
6076
6077
6078
6079
6080
6081
6082
6083
6084
6085
6086
6087
6088
6089
6090
6091
6092
6093
6094
6095
6096
6097
6098
6099
6100
6101
6102
6103
6104
6105
6106
6107
6108
6109
6110
6111
6112
6113
6114
6115
6116
6117
6118
6119
6120
6121
6122
6123
6124
6125
6126
6127
6128
6129
6130
6131
6132
6133
6134
6135
6136
6137
6138
6139
6140
6141
6142
6143
6144
6145
6146
6147
6148
6149
6150
6151
6152
6153
6154
6155
6156
6157
6158
6159
6160
6161
6162
6163
6164
6165
6166
6167
6168
6169
6170
6171
6172
6173
6174
6175
6176
6177
6178
6179
6180
6181
6182
6183
6184
6185
6186
6187
6188
6189
6190
6191
6192
6193
6194
6195
6196
6197
6198
6199
6200
6201
6202
6203
6204
6205
6206
6207
6208
6209
6210
6211
6212
6213
6214
6215
6216
6217
6218
6219
6220
6221
6222
6223
6224
6225
6226
6227
6228
6229
6230
6231
6232
6233
6234
6235
6236
6237
6238
6239
6240
6241
6242
6243
6244
6245
6246
6247
6248
6249
6250
6251
6252
6253
6254
6255
6256
6257
6258
6259
6260
6261
6262
6263
6264
6265
6266
6267
6268
6269
6270
6271
6272
6273
6274
6275
6276
6277
6278
6279
6280
6281
6282
6283
6284
6285
6286
6287
6288
6289
6290
6291
6292
6293
6294
6295
6296
6297
6298
6299
6300
6301
6302
6303
6304
6305
6306
6307
6308
6309
6310
6311
6312
6313
6314
6315
6316
6317
6318
6319
6320
6321
6322
6323
6324
6325
6326
6327
6328
6329
6330
6331
6332
6333
6334
6335
6336
6337
6338
6339
6340
6341
6342
6343
6344
6345
6346
6347
6348
6349
6350
6351
6352
6353
6354
6355
6356
6357
6358
6359
6360
6361
6362
6363
6364
6365
6366
6367
6368
6369
6370
6371
6372
6373
6374
6375
6376
6377
6378
6379
6380
6381
6382
6383
6384
6385
6386
6387
6388
6389
6390
6391
6392
6393
6394
6395
6396
6397
6398
6399
6400
6401
6402
6403
6404
6405
6406
6407
6408
6409
6410
6411
6412
6413
6414
6415
6416
6417
6418
6419
6420
6421
6422
6423
6424
6425
6426
6427
6428
6429
6430
6431
6432
6433
6434
6435
6436
6437
6438
6439
6440
6441
6442
6443
6444
6445
6446
6447
6448
6449
6450
6451
6452
6453
6454
6455
6456
6457
6458
6459
6460
6461
6462
6463
6464
6465
6466
6467
6468
6469
6470
6471
6472
6473
6474
6475
6476
6477
6478
6479
6480
6481
6482
6483
6484
6485
6486
6487
6488
6489
6490
6491
6492
6493
6494
6495
6496
6497
6498
6499
6500
6501
6502
6503
6504
6505
6506
6507
6508
6509
6510
6511
6512
6513
6514
6515
6516
6517
6518
6519
6520
6521
6522
6523
6524
6525
6526
6527
6528
6529
6530
6531
6532
6533
6534
6535
6536
6537
6538
6539
6540
6541
6542
6543
6544
6545
6546
6547
6548
6549
6550
6551
6552
6553
6554
6555
6556
6557
6558
6559
6560
6561
6562
6563
6564
6565
6566
6567
6568
6569
6570
6571
6572
6573
6574
6575
6576
6577
6578
6579
6580
6581
6582
6583
6584
6585
6586
6587
6588
6589
6590
6591
6592
6593
6594
6595
6596
6597
6598
6599
6600
6601
6602
6603
6604
6605
6606
6607
6608
6609
6610
6611
6612
6613
6614
6615
6616
6617
6618
6619
6620
6621
6622
6623
6624
6625
6626
6627
6628
6629
6630
6631
6632
6633
6634
6635
6636
6637
6638
6639
6640
6641
6642
6643
6644
6645
6646
6647
6648
6649
6650
6651
6652
6653
6654
6655
6656
6657
6658
6659
6660
6661
6662
6663
6664
6665
6666
6667
6668
6669
6670
6671
6672
6673
6674
6675
6676
6677
6678
6679
6680
6681
6682
6683
6684
6685
6686
6687
6688
6689
6690
6691
6692
6693
6694
6695
6696
6697
6698
6699
6700
6701
6702
6703
6704
6705
6706
6707
6708
6709
6710
6711
6712
6713
6714
6715
6716
6717
6718
6719
6720
6721
6722
6723
6724
6725
6726
6727
6728
6729
6730
6731
6732
6733
6734
6735
6736
6737
6738
6739
6740
6741
6742
6743
6744
6745
6746
6747
6748
6749
6750
6751
6752
6753
6754
6755
6756
6757
6758
6759
6760
6761
6762
6763
6764
6765
6766
6767
6768
6769
6770
6771
6772
6773
6774
6775
6776
6777
6778
6779
6780
6781
6782
6783
6784
6785
6786
6787
6788
6789
6790
6791
6792
6793
6794
6795
6796
6797
6798
6799
6800
6801
6802
6803
6804
6805
6806
6807
6808
6809
6810
6811
6812
6813
6814
6815
6816
6817
6818
6819
6820
6821
6822
6823
6824
6825
6826
6827
6828
6829
6830
6831
6832
6833
6834
6835
6836
6837
6838
6839
6840
6841
6842
6843
6844
6845
6846
6847
6848
6849
6850
6851
6852
6853
6854
6855
6856
6857
6858
6859
6860
6861
6862
6863
6864
6865
6866
6867
6868
6869
6870
6871
6872
6873
6874
6875
6876
6877
6878
6879
6880
6881
6882
6883
6884
6885
6886
6887
6888
6889
6890
6891
6892
6893
6894
6895
6896
6897
6898
6899
6900
6901
6902
6903
6904
6905
6906
6907
6908
6909
6910
6911
6912
6913
6914
6915
6916
6917
6918
6919
6920
6921
6922
6923
6924
6925
6926
6927
6928
6929
6930
6931
6932
6933
6934
6935
6936
6937
6938
6939
6940
6941
6942
6943
6944
6945
6946
6947
6948
6949
6950
6951
6952
6953
6954
6955
6956
6957
6958
6959
6960
6961
6962
6963
6964
6965
6966
6967
6968
6969
6970
6971
6972
6973
6974
6975
6976
6977
6978
6979
6980
6981
6982
6983
6984
6985
6986
6987
6988
6989
6990
6991
6992
6993
6994
6995
6996
6997
6998
6999
7000
7001
7002
7003
7004
7005
7006
7007
7008
7009
7010
7011
7012
7013
7014
7015
7016
7017
7018
7019
7020
7021
7022
7023
7024
7025
7026
7027
7028
7029
7030
7031
7032
7033
7034
7035
7036
7037
7038
7039
7040
7041
7042
7043
7044
7045
7046
7047
7048
7049
7050
7051
7052
7053
7054
7055
7056
7057
7058
7059
7060
7061
7062
7063
7064
7065
7066
7067
7068
7069
7070
7071
7072
7073
7074
7075
7076
7077
7078
7079
7080
7081
7082
7083
7084
7085
7086
7087
7088
7089
7090
7091
7092
7093
7094
7095
7096
7097
7098
7099
7100
7101
7102
7103
7104
7105
7106
7107
7108
7109
7110
7111
7112
7113
7114
7115
7116
7117
7118
7119
7120
7121
7122
7123
7124
7125
7126
7127
7128
7129
7130
7131
7132
7133
7134
7135
7136
7137
7138
7139
7140
7141
7142
7143
7144
7145
7146
7147
7148
7149
7150
7151
7152
7153
7154
7155
7156
7157
7158
7159
7160
7161
7162
7163
7164
7165
7166
7167
7168
7169
7170
7171
7172
7173
7174
7175
7176
7177
7178
7179
7180
7181
7182
7183
7184
7185
7186
7187
7188
7189
7190
7191
7192
7193
7194
7195
7196
7197
7198
7199
7200
7201
7202
7203
7204
7205
7206
7207
7208
7209
7210
7211
7212
7213
7214
7215
7216
7217
7218
7219
7220
7221
7222
7223
7224
7225
7226
7227
7228
7229
7230
7231
7232
7233
7234
7235
7236
7237
7238
7239
7240
7241
7242
7243
|
The Project Gutenberg EBook of Eunice, by Margaret Murray Robertson
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: Eunice
Author: Margaret Murray Robertson
Release Date: December 3, 2011 [EBook #38196]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EUNICE ***
Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England
Eunice
By Margaret Murray Robertson
Published by Hodder and Stoughton, 27 Paternoster Row, London.
This edition dated 1890.
Eunice, by Margaret Murray Robertson.
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
EUNICE, BY MARGARET MURRAY ROBERTSON.
CHAPTER ONE.
GOING HOME.
One fair morning, a good many years ago, a number of schoolgirls were
waiting at a little wayside station on the banks of the Connecticut
River. They had crossed the river in a ferry-boat and were waiting for
more of their number who were coming after them.
They were waiting patiently enough. It was a good place in which to
wait, for the scene around them was very lovely. They were standing at
the foot of Mount Tom, glorious in the morning sunshine, and looking
over on the shadows which still lingered on the face of Mount Holyoke.
From the far north flows the Connecticut River broadening on its way, as
Green Mountain and White send down on either hand, from melting
snow-drifts and hidden springs, their tribute to its waters. Through
forests and broken hill country, through meadows, sometimes broad and
sometimes narrow, past town and village and lonely farmhouse, it flows
before it makes a bend to pass between Mounts Tom and Holyoke, but in
all its course it flows through no fairer landscape than that which
spreads itself around the base of these two historic mountains.
Over all the land lay the promise of spring in the glory of cloudless
sunshine. Only the promise as yet. The mountains were still bare and
brown, with patches of snow lingering in hollow and crevice; and the
great elms that were everywhere--in the village streets, along the roads
that wound between the hills, and around the white farmhouses--showed no
tinge of green as yet, but their brown buds were ready and waiting to
burst; the meadows were growing green and the catkins were large and
full on the willows by the brooks that hastened through them to the
river. There was a soft tinge, half green, half golden, on earlier
trees growing in sheltered places; and the promise of the spring was
everywhere--more joyfully welcomed after a long winter than spring in
the full glory of leaf and blossom.
They were thinking and speaking of other things--these waiting
schoolgirls. Some of them walked about, softly speaking last words to
each other, and some of them were watching the coming of the boat over
the swollen waters of the river. But the beauty around them, the
sweetness of the spring morning, the restful quiet on mountain and
valley, were present with them all.
"Nellie Austin," said a voice from the group that watched the boat, "do
you see? Your `Faithful' is coming after all."
"My Faithful!"--and a young girl sprang forward as the boat touched the
bank.
A slender girl, very plainly dressed, stepped out first--a girl with
grave dark eyes and a firm mouth, which yet trembled a little as she
answered her companion's greeting.
"Faithful! my Faithful! you are coming home with me after all?"
"No, dear; I am going home to my Eunice. I thought I had better."
"Have you heard again? Is she not well?"
"I have not heard again; but she is not very well, I am afraid. I must
go and see."
"But you will come back again? You will never, never think of not
coming back!"
"Oh, yes, I hope so! I think so--unless she is really sick."
"Oh, she is not so very sick, or you would have heard! What should I
ever do without you? Now you must sit with me as far as I go. Here are
the cars!"
There was no time to lose. The "cars" had come which were to carry the
schoolgirls home for a fortnight's rest and holiday. From the windows a
good many people looked out with interest on the group of girls, and one
said to his friend--
"They are from the seminary over the river yonder. We saw it as we came
on."
"Schoolgirls? No; they don't look like schoolgirls. The greater part
of them must be out of their teens, I should say."
"Possibly, but all the same they are schoolgirls, though there may be a
teacher or two among them."
"Well, friend, after all that you have been telling me about your
wonderful common school system, I should have supposed that the
education of these sedate young persons might have been finished before
the age of twenty."
"Oh, I have no doubt that these young persons have had the benefit of
common school and high school too, before they aspired to a place in the
seminary over yonder; and the chances are that some of them since then
have earned, either with hands or head, the means to carry them further
on; and for these there can be no better place than the plain brick
seminary on the other side of the river!"
"Well," said his friend, "I can only repeat what I have said to you more
than once already--you are a curious people in some ways--with your boys
who are men, and your prim grave-faced young women who are schoolgirls.
I should like to put a question or two to some of them, if I might."
His friend shook his head.
"You may have a chance to do so before you leave the country, but not
to-day, I think. You have no grown-up schoolgirls in _Old_ England?
Out of _New_ England I don't suppose we have so very many even in this
country; and there are probably more in the seminary over there than in
schools generally among us. It was built by special means for a special
purpose. A woman built it--a woman who never owned a dollar that she
had not first earned--a great and good woman. She gave herself, body,
soul, and spirit, to the work of helping her countrywomen--her sisters,
she called them all--who were hungering and thirsting, as she herself in
her youth had hungered and thirsted, for knowledge."
"With a view to making learned ladies of them all?"
"Learned ladies? Well, yes, perhaps--as a means to an end. You may
think it strange, as others have thought; but this woman really believed
His word who said, `Ye are not your own. Ye are bought with a price.'
`None of us liveth to himself.'"
"In a way, we all believe them, I suppose."
"Yes, in a way. Well, she believed them in another way. She believed
them and lived them all her life long. Learned ladies! Yes; but the
keynote of all her teaching was this: `Not your own, but His who bought
you. His for service or for suffering, for watching or warfare, for
life or death.'"
"Well?" said his friend, as the speaker paused.
"Well, she is dead, and `her works do follow her.'"
There was no time for more. The train stopped, and several of the
"schoolgirls" rose to leave. The travellers heard one "Good-bye"
spoken.
"Oh, if you would come with me even yet, dear Faithful!"
"Another time I hope to go with you; but not this time."
"Well, good-bye, my Faithful, good-bye. No, I am not going to cry, but
I _will_ kiss you, whatever any one may think about it."
And then the speaker was gone. No one saw her companion's face for some
time after that. Nor did she see the receding mountains on which she
seemed to be gazing. Her eyes were dim with tears which must not be
allowed to fall.
"Fidelia Marsh," said her companion at last, "what are you thinking
about? Not little Nellie Austin all this time, surely?"
The young girl turned round. "I was trying to think how it would seem
if I were never to see her or any of you all again;" and then she turned
her face to the window, and sat silent till her turn had come to say
"Good-bye."
"Yes, this is my stopping-place."
She smiled and nodded to those who were not within reach of her hand,
and seemed to be cheerful enough in her good-bye, but she did not linger
near the window when she reached the platform, as Nellie Austin and her
friend had done.
It was a dreary little station, standing at the foot of a broken stony
slope, with only one unfurnished house in sight. One lank official
moved about at his leisure, and one embryo trader hastened to display
his boxes of lozenges, and his basket of unwholesome peanuts and last
year's apples. There were doubtless prosperous villages along the wide
road that crossed the railway, and pleasant farmhouses amid the high
pastures and moist meadow lands hid away among the hills beyond; but the
dingy house and the dull little station were all that could be seen from
the windows of the cars, and Fidelia's companions said to one another
that the place looked forlorn.
"And poor dear Fidelia! Does she not look forlorn as well?"
They had time to watch her as she went to claim her trunk, and they saw
her shake hands with the leisurely official, who was evidently an
acquaintance. But when she turned at last to the window she did not
look "forlorn." A beautiful face looked up from under a big bonnet--a
rarely beautiful face, delicate yet strong. There were slight hollows
and a darkened shade beneath the lovely grey eyes set wide apart under a
low broad forehead, and the pale rose-tint on her cheeks might have been
deeper with advantage. The look of delicacy was due to the hard work
she had been doing, but the strength was real, and she would last
through harder work than ever she was likely to have at school.
Forlorn? No. Her face was radiant! The solemn-looking station-master
had wrought the change.
"Well, Fidelia, you've got home, haven't you? Folks don't expect you,
do they?"
"I didn't write that I was coming. I was not sure till the last minute.
Are they all well about here?"
"Yes, I guess so. Eunice is well, any way. She was to meeting Sunday;
and seems to me Lucinda said she was at the sewing-circle at the
doctor's the other day. She'll be glad to see _you_, sick or well."
"I'm glad and thankful that she is well," said Fidelia softly. "I must
say good-bye to the girls."
She turned quickly towards the faces at the windows.
"Have you heard good news, Fidelia?" called some one.
There was no time for words, but the joy on the girl's upturned face was
better than any last words could have been, even though her lips
trembled and her eyes were dim with tears.
And then the train swept on among the hills, and she who had been called
"Faithful" turned her face toward her home, to get the first glimpse of
the work which awaited her there. Not the work which she had been
planning for herself during the last year, but her work all the same--
the work which God had appointed her to do.
Declining the station-master's invitation to "go in and see Lucinda and
wait for a chance to ride home," she went on her way with a cheerful
heart. She followed the wide road, leading westward, only a little way.
Then she went in at an open gate, and across a stony pasture, till she
came to a narrow road leading at first through a thicket of spruce and
cedar, where it was necessary carefully to pick her steps over the wet
moss and stones, and over the network of brown roots which the spring
freshets had laid bare. After a while the road began to ascend, and
then the cedars and spruces were left behind, and birch and poplar and
dogwood, but chiefly great maple trees, with branches high above all the
rest, covered the hillside. It was up hill and down again all the way
after that till the journey was done.
But she did not mind the hills or the roughness of the way. The fresh
air and the free movement were delightful to her in her new freedom, and
everything about her seemed beautiful. She caught sight of many a green
thing growing among the dead leaves; and more than once she paused and
stopped as if she would have liked to pick them. But her hands were
full, and the nearer she drew to her home the more eager she grew to
reach it. "I'll come again," she murmured. "Oh, I am so glad that
Eunice is well!"
She reached the top of a hill steeper and higher than the rest, at a
point from which could be seen a few miles of the railway, passing along
the valley. Her thoughts came back to her companions, and she sighed,
and all at once began to feel tired; and then she sat down to rest, and,
as she rested, she took a book from the bag which she had been carrying
in her hand.
"I am so glad that Eunice is well," she said to herself as she turned
over the leaves. "She was at meeting, he said, and at the
sewing-circle. Well, I am glad I came home all the same. And I can do
something at `The Evidences' while I am here."
She glanced on a page or two, and in her interest in them she might have
forgotten her haste, and lingered, had not the sound of approaching
wheels disturbed the silence a little. She rose in time to see the
leisurely approach of an old grey horse and an old-fashioned
weather-stained chaise. They were familiar objects to her, and some of
the pleasantest associations of her life were connected with them; but
her heart beat hard and her face grew pale as she watched their slow
approach.
"Dr Everett," said she, "are you going to see Eunice?"
"Is it you, Fidelia? Are you just come home? No, I am not going to see
Eunice. Is she not well? She'll be glad to see _you_, sick or well,"
added the doctor, as her other friend had done.
He was out of the chaise by this time, and offering his hand to help her
over the crooked fence. But, instead of taking it, she gave one glance
in the kind good face, and laid her own down on the rough bark of the
cedar rail and burst out crying.
"It was full time for you to come home, I think, if that is the best
greeting you have to give your friends. You've been overdoing, and have
got nervous, I guess," said the doctor, moving aside first one rail and
then another from the fence, to make it easier for her to get over.
"Oh, no, Dr Everett, it is not that! Nervous indeed! I don't know
what it means. Only I'm so glad to get home, and--so glad that Eunice
is well--"
If she had said another word she must have cried again.
"Well, never mind. Get into the chaise, and I'll drive you home; and
then I'll see about Eunice and you too."
It was ridiculous, Fidelia told herself. It had never happened in all
her life before. But it was more than she could do for awhile to
command her voice or stop her tears. The doctor made himself busy with
the harness for a little, and, having left his whip behind him, he cut a
switch from a hickory-tree beside the road; and by the time he was ready
to get into the chaise Fidelia was herself again.
"Have you been having a good time?" asked the doctor presently.
"Yes, indeed! I have enjoyed every minute of it. And I have been
perfectly well, Dr Everett. I have never lost one recitation."
"I suppose you have been at the head of the class and have got the
medal."
Fidelia laughed. "I'm not the best scholar by a good many. But I have
got on pretty well."
"Well, you have got up a step, I hear."
"I have been taking some of the studies of the second year. My Latin
helped me on, and--other things. And--I mean to graduate next year."
"Do in two years what other girls are expected to do in three or four,
and injure your health for life doing it? That would be a poor kind of
wisdom, little girl."
"Oh, I haven't been doing too much, and I don't mean to! But you know,
two years means more to Eunice and me than it does to most people. Oh,
it will be all easy enough! I was well prepared. You see Eunice knew
just what was needed."
"Yes, and Eunice is a good teacher."
"Isn't she?" said Fidelia eagerly. "I haven't seen one yet to compare
with her. Oh, if Eunice had only had my chance!"
"Softly, little girl! Your chance, indeed! Dear Eunice is far beyond
all that sort of thing. She has had better teaching."
"Yes; but Eunice would have liked it. You know she was at the seminary
one of its first years. And she would have gone on. She told me the
last night I was at home that it was years before she could quite give
up the hope of going there again. And I don't see why she shouldn't.
She is not thirty-two years old yet; and it was not just for young girls
that the seminary was built; and--"
"My dear, Eunice has got past the need of all that. It would be like
sending you and Susie back again to the old red schoolhouse, to send
Eunice there."
The doctor had cut his hickory stick, but he had not used it, and old
Grey had been moving on but slowly. There was still a long hill to
climb before they reached the spot where Fidelia could catch a first
glimpse of home. Old Grey moved slowly still, but neither of them spoke
another word till he stood still at the door.
It was a low wooden house, which had once been painted brown; but the
weather-stains on the walls, and the green moss and the lichens on the
roof, made its only colouring now. It had wide eaves, and many
small-paned windows, and a broad porch before the door. A wild vine
covered the porch and one of the windows, and the buds were beginning to
show green upon it. The house stood in a large garden, which might be a
pretty garden in the summer-time, but nothing had been done to it yet.
The sunshine was on it, however, and it was beautiful in Fidelia's eyes.
She had lived in this old brown house more than half of the eighteen
years of her life; she had been faithfully cared for and dearly loved;
and there were tears in her eyes, though her face was bright, as she
went in at the door.
"You are coming in, Dr Everett?" said she.
"Yes, I am coming in. Do you suppose Eunice has a glass of buttermilk
for me this morning?"
"If she has not, she has got cream for you, I am quite sure," said she,
laughing.
Then they went in, and, finding no one, they went through the house to
the garden beyond, where a woman with a large white sun-bonnet on her
head was stooping over some budding thing at her feet. She raised
herself up in a little, and came towards them, closely examining
something which she held in her hand. So she did not see them till she
came near the door where they stood. As she glanced up and saw them a
shadow seemed to pass over her face. The doctor saw it; but Fidelia
only saw the smile that chased it away.
"My little girl!" said Eunice softly.
Fidelia hid her face on her sister's shoulder, and no word was spoken
for a minute or two. Then they went into the house, and Fidelia said,
with a little laugh,--
"I got homesick at the last minute, dear, and so I came home."
"All right, dear. If you could spare the time, it was right to come. I
am very glad."
The doctor got his buttermilk and cream as well, but he sat still,
seeming in no hurry to go away. He listened, and put in a word now and
then, but listened chiefly. He lost no tone or movement of either; and
when Fidelia went, at her sister's bidding, to take off her bonnet and
shawl, he rose and took the elder sister's hand, putting his finger on
her pulse.
"Are you as well as usual these days, Eunice?" said he.
For an instant she seemed to shrink away from him, and would not meet
his eye. Then she said, speaking very slowly and gently,--
"I cannot say that I am quite as well as usual. I meant to see you in a
day or two. Now I will wait a little longer."
"Had you better wait?"
"Yes, I think so. I am not going to spoil Fidelia's pleasure, now that
she is at home for a few days, and I will wait. It won't really make
any difference."
"Eunice," said the doctor gravely, "are you afraid of--anything?"
A sudden wave of colour made her face for the moment beautiful. Tears
came into her eyes, but she smiled as she said,--
"No, not afraid; I hope I should not be afraid even if I should be going
to suffer all that I saw her suffer."
"Eunice, why have you not told me before? It was hardly friendly to be
silent with any such thought in your mind."
"Well, it is as I said. A little sooner or later could make no
difference."
"And because you did not like to make your friends unhappy you ran this
risk."
The doctor was standing with his face to the door at which Fidelia at
the moment entered, and his tone changed.
"Well, to-morrow you must send your little girl down to see my little
girls, unless they should hear of her home-coming, and be up here this
afternoon. No; they shall not come, nor any one else. You shall have
this day to yourselves. And mind one thing--there must be no
school-books about during vacation time. Miss Eunice, I will trust to
you to see to that."
And then he went away.
CHAPTER TWO.
THE SISTERS.
"Are you really well, Eunice? You don't look very well," said Fidelia,
kneeling down beside her sister, and looking wistfully into her face.
"Are you sure that you are well?"
"I am pretty well, dear. I have been about all the winter pretty much
as usual. Who has been telling that I have not been well?"
"No one has written, in so many words, that you were sick. But you
don't seem to have been about among the neighbours as much as usual, and
you have given up your class in the Sunday school."
"Yes, I gave it up for a while, but I have taken it again. I thought I
had better give it up in the beginning of the winter, as I could not be
quite regular, because of the bad roads. And Mr Fuller--the new
teacher--could take it as well as not. He was glad to take it; and he
is a born teacher. He has done good work among the boys on Sundays and
week-days too. But he has gone away, and I have my class again. Was it
because you thought I was sick that you came home, dear?"
"Well, I wanted to be sure about you. And I got homesick when I saw the
other girls going. I am glad I came: I can help in the garden."
"Yes; and ten days in the garden will do more good to your summer work
than ten days at your books could do. I am very glad you have come
home."
"I only brought one book. I must take a little time for it. Now I will
get dinner if you will tell me what to do. I am hungry."
"Of course you are. And I can scarcely wait to hear all you have to
tell me."
She did not need to wait. Fidelia laid the table, talking all the time
as she went from pantry to cupboard; and Eunice listened as she prepared
the dinner with her own hands--as she did every day, for there was no
"help" in the house. It was a very simple meal, and it was spread in
the room in which it was prepared.
It was the winter kitchen and the summer dining-room--a beautiful room,
perfect in neatness and simplicity, and in the tasteful arrangement of
its old-fashioned furniture. There was a "secretary" of dark wood,
which might have "come over in the _Mayflower_" between the windows,
with a bookcase above it; there were a tall clock and two carved
armchairs, a chintz-covered sofa which looked new beside the rest of the
things, and a rocking-chair or two. There were pretty muslin curtains
on the windows, and pictures on the walls; and except for the stove that
stood against the chimney-place one might easily have mistaken the room,
and called it the parlour, for there was no trace of kitchen utensil or
kitchen soil to be seen. The utensils were all in the "sink room" which
opened near the back door, and the soil was nowhere.
All the house was beautiful in its perfect neatness. Everything in it
was old, and some of the things were ancient, and had a history. A
story could be told of oak chest and bookcase and bureau. Some
association, sad or sweet, clung to every old-fashioned ornament and to
every picture on the wall.
"I don't believe there is so pleasant a house in all the state as this
is," said Fidelia gravely.
Her sister smiled. "You have not seen many of the houses in the state,"
said she.
"But I have seen several. And I think I know."
They had the long afternoon to themselves. The elder sister had
something to tell about the quiet winter days, many of which she had
spent alone. She said nothing of loneliness, however; she called it
restful quiet. She had had visitors enough, and every one had been
mindful and kind, from Judge Leonard, who had sent his sleigh to take
her to church on stormy Sundays, to Jabez Ainsworth, who had shovelled
her paths and fed her hens and cow all the winter, and left her nothing
troublesome or toilsome to do. She told of the work which had occupied
her, the books she had read, and the letters she had received and
written, and enlarged on several items of neighbourhood news which she
had only had time to mention in her letter.
Then Fidelia had her turn: nothing that she could tell could fail to
interest her sister as to the months in which they had been separated.
Her studies, her friends, her room-mate, little Nellie Austin, the
youngest pupil in the school; the teachers, the school routine,
household affairs--all were full of interest to Eunice, who had been a
pupil herself long ago; but she listened in silence to it all. Even
when Fidelia began to plan a new life for them when her school days
should be over, and she ready for work, she only said "Yes" and "No,"
and "We must wait and see." Fidelia was too eager in her speech and in
her plans to notice the silence at the moment, but she remembered it
afterwards.
The next morning Fidelia was awakened by a kiss from the smiling lips of
her sister.
"Breakfast is ready," said she.
"You don't say so? And I meant to be up to get the breakfast myself?"
"You did better to sleep on."
"I woke at five; and, oh, it did seem so good to shut my eyes with no
dread of the bell, and so I went to sleep again!"
Eunice went out and in while her sister dressed; and the talk flowed on
till breakfast was over and all the things put away. Eunice listened to
it all with mingled feelings, rejoicing in her sister's eager interest
and in her success, but at the same time missing something for which she
had longed and prayed, and for which she was telling herself that she
must wait patiently a while.
Then Fidelia went out to the garden to see what was to be done there.
She walked up and down the broad path, considering ways and means of
planning how the very most could be accomplished during the fortnight of
her stay.
"It will take most of my time; but I am glad I came, and I shan't
oversleep another day. For, whatever Eunice may say, she is not
strong."
The garden could not be neglected. Half their living came from the
garden and the adjoining fields, where their pretty brown cow was
patiently searching among the last year's tufts of grass for some
sweeter morsel. The pretty creature came to the fence to be petted and
praised, and her mistress did not disappoint her.
"How much do you suppose your cow understands of all you're sayin' to
her?" said a voice at her elbow.
Fidelia started.
"Oh, she understands! Good morning, Jabez;" and she held out her hand
to a tall loose-jointed lad, with a sunburnt, boyish, but very pleasant
face, who had come up the hill from the meadow unseen by her.
"You look _well_," said he, after a moment's examination of her face.
"Thank you," said Fidelia, laughing.
"I mean, you don't look sick," said he.
"Why should I? What have _you_ been doing this winter?"
"I have been at school. We had a new teacher--a chap from Amherst--one
who has to teach and pay his own way. Yes, I got along pretty well--
studied hard, if you can believe it."
"Well, what have you done?"
"_Oh_, a little Latin and history of the United States! I could pass on
that _now_, I guess. And I've got through the first three books of
Euclid, and in Algebra I got through quadratic equations."
She had spoken in a cool, indifferent way, but his eyes sparkled as he
looked up.
"Well done, Jabez! I am glad. I must examine you some day."
"Come on!" cried Jabez, throwing down the hoe he had been carrying.
"I'm ready. Examine all you want to."
"Oh, I don't mean just this minute, but some time before I go! How is
your grandmother these days?"
"She's pretty well. And that makes me think that I promised her to help
churn; I'll have to be going. I came up to talk a little to Miss Eunice
and you about the garden. I don't suppose she'll do much in it this
year, since you won't be here."
"I shall help to make it while I am at home, if the weather will let me.
But your help will be needed after. Come and speak to my sister."
They went into the house, and found Eunice preparing to make the bread
which she had mixed early in the morning. Fidelia set the rocking-chair
for her sister, and took the making of the bread into her own hands.
"About the garden, Miss Eunice? What are you going to do about it?"
said Jabez.
"I shall want some help, I suppose--a good deal of help. Can I depend
on you, Jabez?"
"Well, I've been talking a little with grandpa about what I want to do
this summer. He wants me to work along with Mr Grimes for a spell.
You know, Fidelia, Grimes has got grandpa's farm on shares this year,
and he would like to hire me."
"Well, and why not?"
"I can do better--that's about it."
"And what do you wish to do?"
"Well, that's just what I want to talk about."
"I shall be glad to have your help when you can be spared," said Eunice.
Jabez seemed to have a difficulty in sitting quietly in his chair. He
fidgeted about, and let his hoe fall, and then picked it up and carried
it out into the porch; then laid his cap on the floor, and straightened
himself up, and said gravely,--
"Look here, Miss Eunice, I guess it won't hurt anybody just to have a
little talk about it. I want you to let me have your garden this
summer--on shares if you say so; but I'd rather pay rent for it."
"Why, Jabez, you surprise me!" said Eunice gently.
Fidelia laughed.
"Go on, Jabez. Tell us all about it."
"Well, I will. In the first place, I want to show grandpa that I _can_
do something; and, in the second place, I want to make some money this
summer. I think I see my way clear to do both, if things happen right."
"And what do you want money for?" asked Fidelia.
"Oh, well, I guess 'most everybody wants money! But look here now. I
have not told grandpa yet--it wouldn't help me with him, but I'd as lief
tell _you_ two as not. Supposin' we have Mr Fuller here again next
winter, I'm willing to go to school here, and do chores for Miss Eunice
and at grandpa's next winter, as I have this winter. But if he doesn't
come here, I'm going to Scranton Academy. And if I _do_ go, I expect
I'll have to help pay my own way."
Fidelia nodded and smiled.
"But your grandfather? You must consult him, Jabez," said Miss Eunice,
gravely.
"I mean to--after a spell. But it isn't best to worry him with too many
new ideas at once. Now see here, Miss Eunice--this is the whole
concern. There was a lot of city company in our town last summer, and
the cry among them was for fresh fruit and garden sass. There's going
to be more of them here this summer, down the street in the hotel, and
over at the Corners, and all around. This part of the state's got to be
quite popular with city folks, and I should like to have the chance to
supply them early."
"But do you know anything about a garden?" asked Fidelia, greatly
interested.
"Well, yes. Grandpa has kept me pretty close to work in ours. I've
been down to the judge's some, too; and Sandy Scott, his gardener, has
given me a good many hints, and has promised to see to my work a little.
I am not afraid, not a mite. And if you'll let me have your garden,
grandpa'll let me have his, I guess; and between the two I can make
something, I know."
"I should have to think about it first, Jabez."
"Oh, yes. I am not in a hurry for a day or two."
"And I shouldn't like to do anything that your grandfather might object
to. I should have to talk with him about it."
"And what about your grandmother's churn in the meantime?" Fidelia
added.
"That's so! I'd 'most forgot it. I must hurry up. Here's the doctor!"
Fidelia was gently patting the loaf she had just put into the pan as the
doctor came in.
"Good morning, Miss Eunice! Fidelia, _that_ is after all the true
woman's work. `Loaf-maker'--or is it loaf-giver?--is the true
derivation of `lady,' they say. But I hope you have nearly done. Her
mother could not spare Susie to come up this morning, so I promised I
would send you down."
"I should like to go, but--"
"Cannot you spare her, Miss Eunice? You can walk, Fidelia, you know,
and when I come back from the Corners I'll bring your sister down with
me, if she will let me; and Susie shall drive you both home in the
evening."
When the doctor had driven off, Jabez once more looked in at the door.
"There is no particular hurry, Miss Eunice. Only I've had my hot-beds
all agoing three weeks ago, and I'd like to know as soon as ever you've
made up your mind."
"To-morrow, perhaps, I'll let you know about it," said Miss Eunice.
When her sister had gone, Eunice moved about the house, giving a touch
here and another there, till her bread was ready for the oven; and then
she set the front door wide open and sat down in the porch, for the day
was as bright and warmer than yesterday had been. She had much to think
about. It did not take her long to decide that Jabez should have the
garden, if his grandfather did not object. She had not strength for the
garden now, and Fidelia would have a better visit. How bright and eager
the child was, and how much she had accomplished!
"I knew she would do well; and I must not be discouraged, though she has
not yet caught the spirit of the place. She has been so intent on her
work, that she has given herself no time to think of higher things. But
His time will come. `One thing have I desired of the Lord' for my
darling, and He will grant it, _that_ I know, whether I shall see it in
this world, or wait till we meet in the next, where her mother and mine
await us both."
She closed her eyes, and sat motionless till the sound of wheels reached
her ears.
"The doctor! I will not go down with him, and I hope he will be willing
to wait till Fidelia goes before he speaks. I will go out to the gate,
and he may not come in to-day."
She rose and stood waiting for him at the gate.
"Well, Miss Eunice, what do you think about going down with me? Do you
feel like it?"
Eunice smiled, and shook her head.
"I think not, doctor. My bread is not all baked yet."
"What is this I hear about the garden? Are you going to let Jabez have
it, as he wishes it so much?"
"Hadn't I better, doctor? Without Fidelia it would be too much for me,
I am afraid. I could work in it a little for exercise, even if Jabez
had it."
"Yes, I see. I should not wonder," said the doctor; but his eyes were
turned to the clouds that hung over the distant mountains, and he was
thinking not at all of Jabez and the garden. His face was very grave.
"What a good face it is!" thought Eunice, as she watched it--"a true
friend's face!"
It was a good face, strong and kindly--a face to inspire confidence. It
was brown and weather-beaten, and showed many wrinkles, and the soft
waving hair above it was as white as snow. But it was not an old face.
The eyes were soft and bright, and the smile that came and went so
readily upon it gave it a look of youth. Eunice could not remember the
time when he had not been good and kind to her, and she loved him
dearly. But she was a little afraid of him to-day. In a little, his
eyes returned to her, standing at the gate.
"Miss Eunice, what am I thinking about? You must not stand there in the
wind. I will go in with you. I am not in haste to-day. What is this I
hear about your garden?"
But Eunice knew that it was not of Jabez or the garden he was thinking,
as he followed her into the house. She went out of the room, and
returned with a glass of milk on a tray, and her hand trembled as she
set it down.
It was of Jabez and the garden that they spoke first, however. Eunice
told all that he had said, and the good reason he had for wishing to
make money during the summer.
"And he'll do it too--school and college and all--I should not wonder!"
said the doctor. "There seems to be a terrible hunger for knowledge
among our young people these days. I am not sure that I like it. I am
afraid of it."
"Oh, doctor, you do not mean that?" said Eunice.
"In a way I do. Knowledge! No, I don't object to the knowledge. But I
have a great respect for many of the tanned faces about us, and for the
hands that have been hardened by the plough and the axe. `The profit of
the earth is for all. The king himself is served by the field.' And I
have no respect at all for those lads who take to their books and to a
profession because it seems a step upward, or because such a life seems
to promise an easier time. I don't like to see our farmers' boys
turning their backs on the fields their fathers have tilled."
"But there are more boys than there are farms, I doubt," said Eunice,
with a smile.
"Yes, that is so. But there are farms enough in the country for them
all. And there is no one to take the deacon's farm but Jabez. However,
we may hope that `the profit of the earth' will seem more to him after
he has sowed and reaped for his own benefit."
"I think Jabez would make a scholar. It is in him to succeed."
"Possibly. Oh, yes, he is a smart boy! If he has got the notion, he'll
go ahead with it. He's not a bad boy either, though the grandfather has
had--or rather has dreaded--trouble with him!"
And so they talked on for a while about the garden and other things,
till the doctor rose as if to go away; and then he said, speaking very
gently, just what Eunice had all along known that he came to say--"Do
you think you had better wait any longer, Eunice?"
"I suppose it will make me no worse to know just how it is," she said
faintly.
"It will be far better to know all that can be known. I cannot but
think you may be dreading what will never come to you. You have had a
lonesome winter. And you have had a hard life, dear." Eunice smiled,
but shook her head. "I don't think I have been very lonesome. And I
have not had a hard life--taking it all together. Think how happy my
life was till I was twenty!"
"Yes, dear, I know. And since then it has been more than happy. It has
been a blessed life of help to others. But it has been a hard life too,
in one way. Let us see now how it is with you."
"But first let me say one word," said Eunice, laying her hand on the
doctor's arm. "I don't think I am afraid. I think I am willing that it
shall be as God wills. But it may be long; and I will not, while I can
help it, have my Fidelia know what is before me. And, doctor, I shall
need your silence and your help--"
"To deceive her?"
The doctor sat down again and covered his eyes with his hand for a
moment.
"To deceive her," repeated he, "and to break her heart afterwards with
unavailing regret?"
"Oh, she will have to know after a while, but--not as long as we can
keep it from her!" There was silence for a minute or two. "Well, we
will wait and see. I will not speak to her till you shall give me leave
to do so."
Then there were a few grave questions, and a few quiet replies; and then
the doctor said,--
"Take courage, Eunice! I would say to almost any one else, `There is no
cause for anxiety.' But having known so well the last years of your
grandmother's life, I can hardly say you have nothing to fear from the
disease that was fatal to her; but I do say that, as far as I can judge
from your present condition, you may reasonably hope for a good many
years of comfortable health. You should have spoken to me sooner, and
spared yourself a time of anxiety."
He did not see the look of relief on which he had counted--at least he
did not see it for a moment.
"Thank you, Dr Everett," she said at last. "And now nothing need be
said to Fidelia."
"Why do you fear for Fidelia? Your sister is braver and stronger than
you think."
"Oh, I think she is brave and strong! It is not that. But I want her
to have two or three untroubled years before the work of her life
begins; and then--"
"And what is the work of her life to be? Is she to choose it for
herself, or is it to be chosen for her, as your work has been? Eunice,
don't you think you may be too tender with your sister? Don't you think
that the Lord has her and her life in His keeping, and that you need not
take that burden on you?"
Eunice smiled. "We are bidden to `bear one another's burdens,' you
know."
"Yes; and we are told that `every one shall bear his own burden.' You
cannot shield your sister from all the troubles of life, and it is not
well that she should be so shielded. However, all this will keep for
another time; and I am more than thankful that there is nothing
specially painful to tell her now." And then he asked--"Will you come
down with me, as I promised the girls you should?"
"Not to-day, I think. I will rest, and be ready for Fidelia."
She was very tired, the doctor knew by the wavering colour on her cheek;
and he shrank from the thought of telling her something which he wished
no one but himself to tell. Afterwards, when he had spoken, he said to
himself that he need not have been so much afraid.
"Eunice, I heard from my brother Justin lately. He is coming home. He
is on his way. He may be here any day."
"Is he coming home at last? I am glad--for you especially. All his
friends will be glad to see him again."
She spoke quietly and cordially, just as any of his friends might have
spoken. Then there were a few more words, and then he went away.
Eunice waited till she heard the latch of the gate fall, and waited
still till the sounds of his wheels died away in the distance. Then she
rose and took her last loaves from the oven, and carried them away to
their own place. Then she went slowly upstairs and laid herself down on
her bed to rest. And there Fidelia found her sleeping, with the traces
of tears on her face, but with God's own peace resting upon it also.
CHAPTER THREE.
EUNICE.
Eunice Marsh might well say that the first seventeen years of her life
had been happy years. Her father, a man useful and much beloved, had
during that time been minister of the only church in Hopeville, a town
in the southern part of the state. She had lost her mother when she was
a little child, but her loss had been well supplied by the love and care
of her mother's mother, with whom she had lived, in the house that was
now her home, till the time of her father's second marriage.
Her new mother did not love her own little daughter, when she came, more
dearly than she loved Eunice, and so the happy years moved on to a
sorrowful ending. Suddenly, in the midst of happiness and usefulness,
with no warning which those who loved him could understand, the minister
died. Then Eunice returned to her grandparents home on the hill, and
her stepmother, with her little daughter, came there also, to stay for a
little while; and they never went away again.
It was not a very large house, and the old people were far from being
rich, but they offered the widow a home while she needed one. She did
not need it long. She never quite recovered from the shock of her
husband's death, and she died within the year, leaving her little girl
to her sister Eunice, "to love and care for always--to be her very own."
"And, dear, I am not afraid to leave my little darling with you," said
the dying mother with a smile.
After a while happy days came again to Eunice. Why should she not be
happy? Those who had gone from her had only "gone before," and those
who remained were very dear; and life was before her--a mystery!--but a
mystery of gladness and blessing, as she believed.
Dr Everett had been the minister's classmate in college, and his
life-long friend; and when the minister died, he became the guardian and
the life-long friend of his daughters. In his house they found a second
home, and from him Eunice had the counsel and the guidance which in
their old age, and with their failing powers, her grandparents could no
longer give her.
Strong, eager, ambitious, it would have pleased the girl well to be
allowed to choose her own lot and work, and to make her own way in the
world. But she was dutiful, and she loved her little sister dearly, and
so she was willing to be restrained and guided, and to give herself to
work which seemed at first very humble work, which almost any one might
do, but which was God-given work--a blessing to others and to herself,
as time went on.
Happy? Looking back over those first years, Eunice told herself that no
one could have been happier than she was then. Yes, and afterwards
also. For that which made much of the happiness was not taken from her
at a single blow, nor was she called upon to choose between her duty and
her happiness all at once. She knew there was no choice for her.
When Justin Everett, the doctor's youngest brother--and, like him, a
physician--saw his way open to go West to an uncle, to establish himself
with him in his profession, Eunice might have gone with him as his wife,
if circumstances at home had been different. But it was impossible.
There was no choice to be made, and nothing to be said.
Her grandfather had been stricken helpless, with little hope of ever
being otherwise than helpless. Over her grandmother, younger than him
by many years, hung an awful dread. She too must die, but she might be
years in dying. Some one would have to watch by her dying bed, as she
in her youth had watched by the dying bed of her own mother, till the
slow months wore on to years, before her tired eyes closed at last in
painless rest.
No one needed to say to Eunice that she could not leave her grandmother
to be cared for by others while she went away to find her own happiness.
She never even paused to consider the matter. It was impossible. Her
lover thought quite otherwise, and pleaded with her with words which
made her glad, and which hurt her sorely, but which did not move her
from her purpose. Over one thing only she hesitated. Should she give
him back his word before he went away?
"No," said Dr Everett; "you are both young. Wait."
And so she waited, and was not unhappy. No woman can be unhappy whose
life is lived not to herself but to others. Her service was truly
willing service, and was its own reward. She had cares many and heavy,
weary nights and anxious days, but she had kind friends who took care
for her and helped her; and her cares, and labours, and daily
self-denials, and the hourly sight of her grandmother's faith and
patience, and of her joyful release at last, did for heart and soul more
than many prosperous years of untroubled happiness could have done.
The long suffering came to an end at last. Her grandmother died, and
Eunice was left so spent with doing and watching, and so glad for the
blessed release of her whom she loved so well, that she hardly seemed to
feel the pain of the bitter blow that smote her afterwards--at least
that was what her friends whispered among themselves. Even Dr Everett
took comfort in the thought that she might have outgrown her girlish
fancy during these long years that had changed her into a woman. But
Dr Everett did not know then that the news of his brother's engagement
and approaching marriage had come to her two days before it had reached
him, and that during these two days no one but her paralytic grandfather
had seen her face and heard her voice. Even the child Fidelia had been
sent away "for a change," as she had more than once been sent away
during the last months of the grandmother's life; and Eunice's battle
with herself--if there was a battle--had been fought alone.
But, whichever way it was, it was not a matter about which many words
could be spoken. She made no moan and she claimed no sympathy. She was
"just as usual," as far as he could tell, Dr Everett said, in answer to
his wife's questions when he returned from his first visit to the house
after the news had been received. Even to her old friend she had made
neither complaint nor confession; but he knew that she suffered, though
she kept silence.
"It will make it easier for Eunice in one way," the neighbours said to
one another. "Eunice could hardly have gone away while her grandfather
lived, and this has made the path of duty plain before her."
But whether "the path of duty" was rough or smooth to the weary feet of
Eunice no one ever knew from her lips. She was not unhappy, that was
certain. She had the daily and hourly care of her grandfather to fill
her thoughts and occupy her hands, and when he died she had an easier
time and could rest. And she had Fidelia.
She had an easier life; but she could not sit idle at home, or go
elsewhere for change or pleasure, as others might who had not their
daily bread to earn. The means which her grandparents had provided for
their old age had been nearly spent during their long illness. There
was the house and garden and a field or two, and that was almost all;
and Eunice chose to stay at home and make the best of them, rather than
do any of the things which her friends were so ready to advise, and
which she might have done. She might have nursed the sick, or taught a
school, or worked with her capable hands or her clear head in one of the
many ways open to New England girls; but she would not be separated from
her sister, and she chose to stay at home.
"I will stay for awhile at least," she said to Dr Everett when he spoke
to her about her plans, and hinted that a change might be desirable for
various reasons. "There is no hurry about it, I think; and just for the
present I would rather stay at home."
And the time had never come for her to go elsewhere, or to change her
manner of life in any way, and it had lately been gradually revealing
itself to her that the time could never come. She was beginning to say
to herself: "That which I greatly feared has come upon me."
All the long suffering through which she had seen her grandmother pass
seemed to lie like a thick darkness upon her. Even before the departure
of her sister for school she had felt or imagined symptoms, which she
thought she could not mistake, of the terrible disease which had
appeared at intervals in some member of her mother's family for several
generations; and there is no wonder that for a time her courage, and
even her faith, failed her.
She was wrong to conceal her fears from Dr Everett. But she said to
herself: "He cannot help me. If I am mistaken--if I am only nervous and
over-anxious, it will pass away in time, with suffering to no one but
myself. If the danger is real, nothing--no one can help me, not even my
dear old friend."
Even more than she dreaded the long suffering she dreaded the
helplessness and weariness of illness, and the dependence upon others
which it must involve. She shrank morbidly from the thought of becoming
a centre of painful interest to her friends and to the neighbourhood;
and she resolved to say nothing either of her suffering or her fears
while concealment was possible. So, during the first months of winter,
making an excuse of the cold, she stayed at home, and, when chance
visitors came to her, exhausted herself with efforts to seem well and
cheerful in their presence, and bore the long suffering of suspense
alone.
Alone? Well, she thought so for a time. She wrote herself down as "a
woman desolate and forsaken," and it went ill with her--but only for a
time. Even in her darkest moments she had never quite forgotten the
refuge to which she might betake herself, and she found it at last.
After a time light broke through the darkness, and she caught a
glimpse--not of the way--but of His face whose hand was leading her.
The way mattered little. He knew every step of it, and its ending and
the rest to which it led, and why should she fear?
It cannot be said that she no longer shrank from the thought of the
long, slow suffering that might be before her; but she could after this
leave it all with Him "who loved her and gave Himself for her," and who
would give her strength to bear His will.
When the sharpest winter weather was over, and the days began to grow
long, she fell into her old cheerful ways again. She busied herself
with her housework and her needlework, and went to church and to the
sewing-circle, as the man at the station had said. She saw her friends
more frequently; and the neighbours, seeing the sweet content on her
face, "guessed likely that she was having a good time all by herself up
there on the hill." And so she was; and neither friend nor neighbour
imagined that she had anything to conceal. Nor did Dr Everett himself,
until the day when he met Fidelia, and brought her home. Then he lost
no time in finding out all there was to know.
That morning, as he went slowly down the hill to his home, he more than
once repeated to himself the words he had spoken to Eunice,--
"I see no special cause for anxiety,"--but each time he added
gravely--"as yet." And then he lost himself in musing on the terrible
mystery of inherited disease and suffering, and only came back to Eunice
again when he caught sight of the bright face of Fidelia standing at his
own gate.
"Poor soul! Poor Eunice! So good and wise and lovely! What a fate is
to be feared for her! And yet I am not sure that her strong and
beautiful sister is so happy as she."
And Eunice was smiling a little over the words which the doctor had
tried to make so hopeful, scarcely taking from them the comfort which he
meant her to take.
"No anxiety!" repeated she. "Well, it is quite true. Why should I be
anxious? It will be all right. I am glad he came, and that the visit
is well over."
And then she put away the last of her warm white loaves, and went slowly
upstairs to rest for awhile.
When Fidelia came home in the afternoon she found her sister sleeping,
and she saw something which she had rarely seen before--the traces of
tears upon her cheeks. But as she stood looking down upon her--even
before her eyes opened--a smile came to her lips.
"Well," she said softly, as Fidelia stooped to kiss her, "have you had a
good time?"
"Don't you feel well, Eunice?"
"Just as usual. Why have you come home so early?"
"It is not so very early. We had tea sooner than usual, because--Lie
still awhile, and I will make your tea."
"I must have slept long, if it is time for tea. Oh, yes, I feel quite
well! You must tell me all about your visit when I come down."
Fidelia went to the window, and as she rolled up the blind and let the
light of the sunset into the room, she said, without looking round,--
"Eunice, who do you think has come to Dr Everett's? His brother
Justin."
"Has he come already? The doctor told me this morning that he expected
him, but he did not say when."
She came forward to the glass and began to arrange her hair, which had
fallen down, with the full light of the evening sunshine on her face.
Fidelia made herself busy about the room for a minute, and then, turning
to the window, stood regarding her sister.
Eunice was just as usual, except for the traces of tears upon her
cheeks; and Fidelia was not even sure of the tears now.
"And did you see him? Has he changed much? Do you like him?" asked
Eunice, busy still with her hair.
"Yes, I saw him. Changed? I can't say. I don't remember him. No;
upon the whole, I don't think I shall like him much."
Eunice turned and looked at her, smiling.
"Oh, you'll like him! I am not afraid of that."
"Eunice, did you know that Justin Everett was coming home?"
"His brother told me this, morning. Of course I knew that he would come
some time. I shall be glad to see him."
"Will she be glad?" Fidelia was saying to herself, while she made ready
her sister's tea. "Will she truly be glad? Has she forgiven him, or
has she forgotten him? I would give a great deal to know her thoughts
this minute. Oh, I hope I shall be with her when he comes to see her
first!"
A single word had done this--her sister's name, spoken by Mrs Everett,
when her husband told her that his brother was coming home. They did
not know that she heard it. She was greatly startled and a little
angry, though she could not have told why. In that friendly
neighbourhood she could hardly have lived so many years without hearing
some hint of the trial through which her sister had passed in her youth;
and imagination came to the help of memory, and made her more angry
still. She would not have remained to give the new-comer welcome if he
had not taken them all by surprise. She only saw him at the tea-table,
where he sat, grave and almost silent, scarcely raising his eyes from
his plate. She had not lingered a moment after the tea was over.
She was present at the first meeting between Eunice and Justin Everett,
as she had hoped she would be, but it did not tell her much. It took
place in unfortunate circumstances. He came up next morning, and,
finding no one in the house, passed through into the garden, where he
found Deacon Ainsworth and his grandson Jabez discussing with the
sisters the important question, "Should Jabez have the garden?"
Jabez had intimated to his grandfather that Miss Eunice would like to
see him about business if he could "step up" there some morning pretty
soon; and the deacon had lost no time, and Jabez "had thought best to
happen along so as to see the thing through," as he told Fidelia in
confidence. They had "talked the matter over" in the house without his
help; now they were talking it over with it in the garden. In the house
the deacon had got so far as to acknowledge that he saw no vital
objection to Miss Eunice letting her garden to his grandson. In the
garden he was not so certain. It would need steadiness and
perseverance, and these Jabez might fail in, even with himself to keep
the boy up to the mark.
"And if he should fail in doing well by you, Miss Eunice, I should
rather feel as if you'd expect me to make it good to you. And I don't
know but I should feel as if I ought;" and so on. And then Dr Justin
appeared.
The greetings all round were pleasant and cordial; and then it was
supposed by Fidelia that the deacon would go away. But he had known
Justin Everett all his life, or at least his "youthful years," as he
said, and never doubted that it was his duty and his privilege to give
him welcome in his neighbour's house as if it had been his own. So he
rather took matters into his own hand, and "led the meeting," as Jabez
afterwards said. Fidelia was indignant. Eunice was not indignant. She
was in her heart grateful to the good deacon for "assisting" at the
occasion, though she might not have been quite pleased with his motives.
"I kind o' wanted to know how it was going to be with Eunice, so I
stayed," he told his wife afterwards; but he owned that he didn't know
much about it after all. "If it had been the old doctor himself, I
don't know how she could have talked any other way to him. Friendly?
Oh, yes, she was friendly and cool, but not too cool nor too friendly!
Be you certain that Justin Everett's wife is dead, Asubah?"
"Well, I declare for it! How you talk!" exclaimed Mrs Ainsworth. "As
if you don't know as well as I do that she's been dead these two years
and more! I hope to mercy you didn't go to saying anything of that kind
up there. I _should_ like to see Fidelia Marsh's eyes if she heard any
such insinuations about her sister."
But the deacon, though he had taken the lead in the conversation, said
nothing indiscreet to Fidelia or any one else, and he rose to go at
last, but not until Dr Everett came to take his brother away to see a
patient.
Jabez in the meantime had, by an effective movement on the onion-bed,
taken formal possession of the garden. He did not see, or he did not
seem to see, his grandfather set out for home, and continued his work
then and afterwards to such good purpose, that he had so strengthened
his position as to leave nothing more to be said or done when in a few
days his grandfather "stepped up" again, to talk the matter over.
Fidelia was for many reasons glad that it was in his hands, but she
could not reconcile herself to the deacon for having so utterly spoiled
to them all the first visit of Dr Justin.
And she was not at home when Dr Justin made his second visit, and his
last at that time. One night she came home from a long walk with her
friend, Susie, to find her sister, as she almost always found her in the
twilight, resting on the sofa, and this time again she thought there
were traces of tears on her cheeks. After a little she was not so sure
about the tears, but she was sure of the peaceful brightness of her
sister's smile of welcome, and of the sweet words with which she greeted
her.
CHAPTER FOUR.
A VISIT.
"A good place to rest in," Fidelia Marsh was saying to herself, as she
passed with her friend Nellie Austin under the great elms whose boughs
met over the one long street which makes the larger part of the inland
town of Eastwood. "A good place to rest in," she repeated, when the
chaise drew up before the door of the large house which was her friend's
home.
The house was one of the great square homesteads, built in the early
days of the Commonwealth, and it stood in the morning sunshine just
beyond the flickering shadows of the elm-trees in the street. It stood
at a point where two ways met; and the south door opened on the wide
road that led away to the hilly country beyond, and there were great
elms there, too, to cast their shadows over porch and doorway when the
room grew hot. A wonderful old grape-vine covered the porch, and there
were lilac and locust-trees and rose-bushes by the white fence which
enclosed a smooth green yard on three sides of the house. Beyond was a
garden with fruit-trees and tall hollyhocks and great bunches of phlox,
and a row of bee-hives facing the south; and that was all that Fidelia
saw before she passed into the porch, to meet a kindly welcome.
Only at the last moment had she accepted her friend's oft-repeated
invitation to visit her in her home, and she had accepted for the same
reason which had made her refuse it before. It was for the sake of
Eunice. Fidelia had done well at the seminary during the summer term as
far as study was concerned. She had done "splendidly," her classmates
declared with admiring exaggeration; but all the same, she was beginning
to think she had done foolishly--to say no worse.
She had undertaken too much for her summer's work, and had been allowed
to go on with it as perhaps no other girl there would have been allowed.
Study seemed so easy to her, she was so ready and strong and cheerful,
and altogether so sensible, that she had been left to pursue her own way
with less close oversight as to health and strength than was usual at
the seminary, and she had not proved herself worthy of being trusted in
that direction. She had not needed to relight her lamp when the house
was at last silent, nor to study by moonlight, but she had often stolen
hours from her morning slumbers, and had carried her book to her walks
and into her hours of recreation, and even into the morning and evening
"half-hour" which is supposed by all concerned to be given to higher
things.
Of course she had overdone it, and had failed at last. Or she thought
she had failed, because she had at last done wearily and with an effort
what she might have done easily and with secret triumph if she had been
strong and well, "with all her wits about her." She had not failed in
the opinion of her classmates, or even of her teachers. She had at
examinations done as well as the rest--better than most; but she had
taken little pleasure in her success, and she was afraid of what Eunice
might think of it all.
For of course Eunice must hear all there was to tell. She could keep
nothing back from Eunice, even if she would; and in her heart she knew
that her sister's thought would be, that she had missed more than she
had gained by her over-eagerness to succeed. And, looking at her pale
cheeks and her big eyes in the glass, she determined at least to spare
her sister the pain of seeing her till she had rested awhile, and looked
like herself again. So she had at the last moment written to Eunice,
and had made Nellie Austin happy by coming home with her.
She was heartily welcomed by all in the house, and not as a stranger.
For Dr Austin had known her father and mother long ago, and Dr Everett
was also a friend of his.
It was a good house in which to rest--cool and quiet and well-regulated,
stirred only by the mild excitement which the comings and goings of
Nellie's three young brothers made.
But though Fidelia rested she was hardly content. She was not at peace
with herself nor at ease in her pleasant surroundings. Nellie had many
friends to see after her long absence, and went here and there as happy
as a bird, but, cautioned by her father, she did not urge her friend to
go with her, and for the first few days left her much to herself. Dr
Austin watched Fidelia quietly during this time, wondering a little
where the charm was which had caught the heart of his volatile little
daughter. This pale listless girl was little like the bright scholar
who had carried all before her in her classes, and whose kindness and
cheerfulness had been a help and refuge for the homesick and the easily
discouraged among them. But he waited patiently. She had been doing
too much, and needed rest and quiet and fresh air. If her lassitude
continued many days longer, then, he told his wife, he would have
something to say to her.
In the meantime Fidelia, half conscious of their observation of her and
of their disappointment in her, was much ashamed of herself and anything
but happy, and wished with all her heart that she had gone straight home
to Eunice.
"At home, with something to do, I should never have been so stupid.
To-morrow I will find some work. It is because, for the first time in
my life, I have nothing to do that I feel so good-for-nothing."
"Suppose you go a-fishing with the boys to-morrow. They will like to
have you go, and it will do you good," said a cheerful voice behind her,
when she had got thus far.
Fidelia rose from the doorstep, and faced the speaker. It was cousin
Abby Chase, who had come into the porch, and seated herself in a low
chair with a bowl of raisins in her hand.
"I was just wishing for something to do; let me help you," said Fidelia.
"Well, if you would like to, I shall be glad of your help."
She took off her own spotless apron and gave it to Fidelia, and soon
returned with another. Cousin Abby was a distant relation of the Austin
family, who had come to live in the house in the young days of the
doctor's mother, first as help and then as housekeeper, and always as
valued friend. She was an old woman now, and blest with a wisdom which
does not always come with years. She was willing to place herself
aside, and to acknowledge that the work which she had done so long could
be done better by others now.
If it had cost her anything to give up the work and the responsibilities
which had filled her life for so many years, no one knew it from any
word of hers. She was sweet-tempered and intelligent. She had always
"loved good reading," as she said, and within certain limits she was
well read. In the course of many Sunday afternoons she had read--a
chapter or two at a time--the books of such of the grand old Puritans as
found a place in the doctor's library. The "Missionary Herald" and "The
Puritan" were always sent first to cousin Abby's room, and there were
few of the questions, sectional or doctrinal, discussed in the one, and
few of the missionaries or mission-fields presented in the other, during
the last twenty years, with which she was not familiar. In the
labourers in more than one mission-field she took personal interest, and
gave good help to them in many ways. Her Christian influence was felt
in the family, and extended beyond it. There was no one in the town of
Eastwood who held a higher place in the general esteem or who deserved
it more than did cousin Abby Chase.
"We are expecting company," said cousin Abby; "and Mattie had a bigger
wash than ordinary, and so I thought I'd better set to and make some
cake and things to-day, to help along."
"Company?" said Fidelia, her face betraying her doubt as to the pleasure
of the prospect.
"Yes. We generally do have considerable company, summers, though we
have been alone for a spell lately. We don't trouble about company
much. They take us as they find us mostly; but just to-day they are
Boston folks that are coming, and I wish we had known it sooner. Mrs
Austin had a little rather be prepared for such folks."
"You must let me help you," said Fidelia. "I don't know much about such
things--except just plain cooking; but I can do as you tell me."
And so she did, to good purpose.
"You take hold as if you knew how," said Miss Abby admiringly.
They had a long busy morning together in the front kitchen, and amidst
the beating of eggs and the rolling of paste much pleasant talk went on
between them. It was almost as good for Fidelia as a talk with Eunice
would have been. When, later, Dr Austin passed through the room, he
stopped a moment to shake his head at the array of good things which
greeted both nose and eyes.
"They look good, don't they?" said Fidelia.
"Y-es," said the doctor, with a shrug. "The question is, are they
wholesome?"
"Oh, yes; they are the best of their kind! If they are used in
moderation, they won't hurt anybody," said cousin Abby. "Miss Fidelia
must be a good scholar if she studies as well as she works."
"Do you?" said the doctor. "Well, never mind. The work has done you
good; and I hope Abby will take you in hand and find you more to do
another day."
The work had really done Fidelia good. She folded her apron, and turned
to her favourite seat in the south porch with a lighter heart than she
had had for a long time. But her spirits fell again as she reached the
door.
"The company" had arrived--"and a great deal of it," Fidelia thought, at
the first glimpse of the flowing garments of a group of ladies who had
just alighted from a carriage, and were lingering on the lawn. She
glanced down at her faded alpaca, which had been her second-best dress
during the whole of the school year, and wished herself at home.
She was hot and tired after her work; and when she heard Nellie Austin's
voice calling her name, she made haste to get upstairs before she should
be seen. But she could not resist the temptation to turn into cousin
Abby's room, from the window of which she could get another glimpse of
the strangers.
They were not all strangers. By the side of one of the ladies, carrying
her parasol and shawl, walked Dr Justin Everett. But it was a
different Dr Justin from him who had sat constrained and silent at his
brother's table that first night, and who had responded so gravely the
next day to Deacon Ainsworth's untimely congratulations and questions.
His high head was bowed as he listened, and he responded with smiles to
his companion.
Then Nellie's voice was heard again, calling,--"Faithful, my Faithful,
where are you?" and what Fidelia would have liked to do would have been
to hide in cousin Abby's closet, or to run down the back stairs and take
refuge in the kitchen again. She did not do either. She laid herself
down on cousin Abby's sofa, and shaded her face with a big feather fan
that lay at hand. Nellie entered the room on tiptoe.
"Are you asleep, Fie? Are you sick?" said she softly.
"I am neither the one nor the other, though I might have dropped off in
a minute or two if you had not come in to disturb me. Have you been in
the front kitchen? Have you seen the nice things that cousin Abby and I
have been making? I am a little hot and tired, that's all."
"Tired! I should think so! I am ashamed that I was not here to help
you. You ought to rest; but it is nearly dinner-time. And, oh,
Fidelia, I wish you would put on your white dress!"
"My white dress, indeed! That would be striking twelve o'clock too
early in the day, my dear. I must save my white gown for Sunday. Yes,
I know you want to show your friend at her best. It's very good of you.
But I shall do you more credit in my every-day wear. And, after all,
don't you think my gown looks as well as yours?"
"But they have seen me before; and, besides, I'm nobody."
Fidelia laughed.
"Well, I don't feel as if I was anybody in particular. No, dear, I'm
not cross. I am going to be as entertaining as possible, and do you
credit. And, besides, there's the dinner-bell. It is too late now to
think of changing anything."
A pleasant surprise awaited her, and she found it easy not to be cross.
Not only Dr Justin was there, but Dr Everett himself, returning home
with his brother from the first brief holiday they had enjoyed together
for many a year. She came into the dining-room with him, and sat beside
him, and feared no stranger of them all.
"Tell me about my Eunice," she said softly, as the talk flowed on around
them.
"Eunice is all right. I am not sure that I shall be justified in saying
the same to her about you. Are you well, child?"
"As well as well can be. Yes, I got thin and pale; but so did a good
many others. It is a way they have over there, towards the end of the
year. I came here to freshen myself up a little before showing myself
to Eunice. When are you going home, Dr Everett?"
"I am going to-morrow. No, you cannot go with me. I am going round by
W--, and shall not see home for two days yet."
"Oh, dear, I am sorry--that I can't go with you, I mean! It would be a
good excuse to get away--to go with you. I promised to stay ten days,
but I am getting homesick."
"You had better keep your promise. Your sister has company just now,
and does not need you."
"Yes, I know; but that is one reason why I should be at home. Eunice
must have too much to do."
"No, she has not. It is Ruby Stone who is doing now. Don't worry about
Eunice. She is in good hands. Mrs Stone loved your sister before you
were born; Eunice is all right."
There was nothing more to be said, but Fidelia was by no means sure that
she would not shorten her visit; and her next thought was that she need
not see much of the visitors while she stayed. But she did see a good
deal of them.
That night it rained. There could be no wandering under the elms by
moonlight. It grew dark early, and chilly, and a fire of dry wood was
made in the sitting-room, partly for the warmth and partly for
brightness. The elder people gathered round it, and a great deal of
pleasant talk went on among them.
The visitors--besides the two doctors--were Mr and Mrs Abner Kent,
their daughter Ella, and their niece Miss Avery. They were from Boston,
and belonged to one of the "first families" of that chief city. They
were rich--so rich that, like the king and preacher, they might have
possessed themselves of "whatsoever their eyes desired." They had done
something in that direction, their neighbours were inclined to think,
for they had travelled much on both sides of the sea, and had brought
home many of the rare and beautiful things which only much money can
buy. Miss Kent was tall and dark, with a good face; Miss Avery was
beautiful--small and fair, with shining curls, and pretty, coaxing ways;
but Fidelia liked Miss Kent's face best.
By-and-by several friends of the Austins came--the Rev Mr Porson and
his daughters, whom Fidelia had seen before, and others whom she had not
seen. From the corner where she sat in the shadow she watched them all
with great interest. She was listening to the talk that was going on
between Dr Everett and the minister, but she lost nothing of all that
was passing before her eyes, and all the time she was having her own
thoughts about these people.
They were not just like Halsey folks, among whom she and Eunice had
passed all their lives. It had been said of the town of Halsey that
there were more good people in it, in proportion to its population, than
in any other town in the county--perhaps even in the state; and Fidelia
was of course bound to believe it. But though the Halsey people might
be very good, they lacked something, Fidelia acknowledged, which these
people had.
She thought of her friends at home, and tried to imagine one and another
of them--Deacon Ainsworth and his wife, and Miss Green and her uncle the
squire, sitting in the midst of these people. Eunice, with her plain
dress and her plain ways, would have small chance of being understood or
appreciated among them.
But Fidelia pulled herself up mentally when she had got thus far.
Eunice, indeed! In all that was worth knowing or being, which of these
ladies could compare with Eunice?
And yet it must make a difference to live such a life as most of these
people lived--a life without hard work or pressing care, with time to
enjoy reading, and study, and travel, with a chance to enjoy the sight
of all that is grand and beautiful in nature and art. Even Eunice,
good, and sweet, and superior to most people as she was--even Eunice
would have been a little different in such a life.
Standing at the other end of the living room, smiling down upon Miss
Avery, who had touched his arm to attract his attention, stood Dr
Justin Everett. Miss Avery had a request to make, it seemed, and when
he shook his head, seeming to refuse it, she clasped her pretty hands,
and urged it eagerly. Whether her request was ultimately to be granted
or not, did not appear. In the meantime they seated themselves in the
window-seat, a little withdrawn from the rest, evidently content.
Fidelia could not withdraw her attention from them. She watched them
with a feeling in which was both anger and pain rising in her heart.
"Eunice," she thought--"would Eunice care?" and she hated herself for
thinking it, and put up her hands to hide the angry colour that she felt
rising to her cheeks.
"Miss Faithful," said a voice near her, "cousin Abby says you want to go
fishing with us to-morrow. Do you?"
"Yes, indeed I do," said Fidelia, rising and turning to the boy who had
spoken.
"You have got a new name, my dear," said Dr Everett, who had been
watching her face unseen--"a new name and a good one."
Fidelia nodded.
"Amos wants to see you, if you do," said the boy. "He is in cousin
Abby's room. Can you catch fish?"
"I have done so, but I cannot boast of much skill," said Fidelia. "I
would like to try. Let us go and see Amos."
So they went together to cousin Abby's room. It did not take long to
make all necessary arrangements. The chief thing was, that an early
start should be made, and also that a good lunch should be put up.
Fidelia laughed at the idea of her being too tired to follow the brook--
to its source even, if that should be necessary; and she quite won the
hearts of the three boys by her delight at the prospect of the day's
pleasure.
"Nellie ought to go," said Amos. "She would like to go, I'm sure, but
she can't leave her company. They might go too, I suppose; but I guess
city girls wouldn't care about fishing."
"I think it will be better for us to go by ourselves to-morrow," said
Fidelia. "It doesn't do for too many people to go fishing together."
"And girls especially. They will talk," said Amos.
Fidelia laughed. "I won't talk. You'll see how quiet I can be."
CHAPTER FIVE.
A DAY'S FISHING.
An early start to Smellie's Brook was accomplished, and in circumstances
even more favourable than had been anticipated. Dr Everett had risen
early and breakfasted with the fishing party, and he volunteered to
drive as many as could "pile in" to the double buggy to the nearest
point on Smellie's Hill that could be reached on wheels. The elder boys
were inclined to refuse the offer; but the doctor said,--
"The fields are wet with dew, and the lunch-basket is heavy; and you
must consider that you have a lady with you."
"Well, I guess we'd better go in the buggy a part of the way," said
Amos, the leader, after awhile.
The dewy fields would not have been agreeable to walk in, but they were
beautiful to see, and so were the woods, into which after awhile the
narrow road took them. The boys' eyes were quick to see and their ears
to hear, and the sights and sounds of the early morning were not lost
upon them. Fidelia was silent, but her spirits rose as she listened to
the talk between the doctor and the boys; and she laughed as merrily as
any of them before they reached Smellie's Hill.
"If you don't feel as if you were going to have a good time, Fidelia,
you can drive back again with me, and let the boys go on alone," said
Dr Everett, as he stopped at the steepest part of the hill to let the
boys alight.
"Go back with you! No, indeed! I _am_ going to have a good time. I
feel better already."
"You look better. I am glad you came. And look here, little girl,
don't you worry about Eunice. Don't you know that nothing in the world
can hurt Eunice? If there is any room for anxiety between you, it is
Eunice who might worry about you. But she doesn't, and need not, I
hope. At any rate all is well with Eunice."
A shadow fell on Fidelia's face, and her eyes drooped beneath the
doctor's glance.
"Yes; she tells me she is pretty well now, but--"
The colour which the morning air had brought to her cheeks deepened as
she looked up and met the doctor's eye, but she said no more, nor did
he. They had by this time reached Smellie's Hill, and the doctor was
going no further.
"If I had had time to think about things, I believe I should have taken
the day and gone with you to the brook," said he, as the boys were
taking basket and rods from the buggy.
"Oh, couldn't you possibly come?" said Fidelia eagerly; and the boys
joined their entreaties to hers. It was not to be thought of, however,
for he "was due elsewhere." They watched him as he drove down the hill,
and he would have smiled if he had heard all that was said of him before
they took up their baskets and rods again.
Then they turned and took the path through Smellie's pasture that leads
to the woods and the rocky ledge beyond; and when they came within sound
of the murmur of the brook, they hastened their steps.
"Fall and spring it is like a river, though it doesn't look much now,"
said Amos, as they came in sight of it.
It did not "look much" truly. A brooklet winding its way among rocks
and stones, over which one might leap or even step at most places, but
with here and there a pool which looked dark and deep enough to be the
hiding-place of many a speckled beauty. And they had good proof of this
before the day was done.
It was a good day for Fidelia; in the success and in the enjoyment she
had a full share, though she acknowledged to herself that she did not
deserve either. As the time went on she became more and more ashamed of
the morbid feelings which had made her so eager to get away from the
house and from all who were in it.
What was the matter with her? Was she envious of those other girls, who
led such easy lives and had so many advantages? Could it be that she
was so utterly ungrateful as to forget how full of good things her life
had been made by the sister who had had so little in her own life but
labour and care for others, yet who had accepted her lot, not with
submission merely, but with sweet content and cheerfulness? Was it for
Eunice she was jealous? Remembering the sudden indignation which had
seized her at the first glimpse she had got of Dr Justin, smiling down
on the pretty upturned face of Miss Avery, she could not deny it. Even
now she grew angry as she thought about it.
Would Eunice have been angry if she had seen them? Had she suffered
very much in giving up her happy prospects long ago? And afterwards,
when she knew that another had taken the place in Justin Everett's home
which ought to have been hers, had she suffered? Had she forgiven him,
or had she forgotten him? They seemed to be friends now--she knew that
from her sister's letters: would they ever be more than friends? That
would be the right ending, Fidelia thought, but the thought did not give
her unmixed pleasure.
"I should lose Eunice," she said to herself; "and I am not sure that I
like her Dr Justin very well." And then she laughed--"I am getting on
pretty fast, I think. Well, I can wait. Eunice will tell me at the
right time if there be anything to tell. I won't worry about her. Dr
Everett is right. Nothing in the world can hurt Eunice much. I only
wish that I were like her."
Did she really wish it? She was not sure, and she was not ready to
consider the question at that moment.
All these thoughts had been passing through her mind as she followed
Amos along the margin of the brook; and when they stopped at Big Rock to
arrange where each one was to go, not one was more eager and pleased
with the prospects of the day than she.
The sky became overcast, which was a matter of rejoicing; the same could
not be said of the threatening rain. But not enough fell to do any
harm, and for fishing the day was pronounced perfect. When there are
four rods, and only one basket for the fish, even moderate success tells
quickly; and before Franky "guessed it was most time for lunch," there
was a good show of trout.
It was decided that, to save time, they should not make a fire and feed
upon the fish, but content themselves with what was to be found in
cousin Abby's basket, which they might very well do. But they forgot
about saving time, for they fell into a real boys' talk,--about hunting
and fishing and adventures of all kinds, which made them forget how time
was passing, and then they found that Franky had fallen asleep with his
head on Fidelia's lap.
"I think we must let him have his sleep out," said Fidelia; "you
remember, cousin Abby said we must be careful not to let him get too
tired. You two go away to your fishing, and when Franky wakes we will
follow you up the brook."
"But it is too bad you should lose your sport," said Ned.
"He won't sleep long. And, see, I have a book."
So the boys set off, and Fidelia had a quiet two hours with her book,--
which ought to have been Butler's "Analogy," considering her next year's
work at the seminary, but which was "Astoria"--much more appropriate for
the time and place. Franky woke rested and much the better for his nap,
but indignant at being allowed to lose so much time. But he forgot his
vexation in the pleasure of listening to a story Fidelia told, and which
lasted till they came in sight of Amos, happy and successful as ever,
but a little tired also. So they sat down to rest and enjoy another
lunch, and to talk about things in general.
Fidelia knew how to talk to boys. She knew every tree in the woods, and
the note of every bird which chirped among the branches. She knew
something about most plants that grew in field or wood, so there was no
danger of falling out of talk. The boys were interested in what they
heard, and each had something to tell. By-and-by Franky said--
"How many brothers have you, Miss Faithful?"
"Not one! I never had a brother."
"Well, they would have had good times, if you had."
Fidelia laughed--"I am not so sure. I have one sister."
"Yes, I know--Miss Eunice," said Amos.
"Yes, my Eunice. She is all I have got, and she is better to me than
two or three brothers."
"Yes, I know," said Amos, nodding his head; "I heard Dr Everett talking
about her with father. Oh, no, it wasn't doctor's talk; only how good
she is, and how much she thinks of you!"
"Why do they call you Faithful?" asked Ned.
"No one calls me that but Nellie, and you must ask her why."
"I suppose it is because you never shirk," said Amos.
Fidelia looked grave.
"I don't deserve it for that reason," said she.
"You know Jabez Ainsworth, don't you?" said Amos.
"Oh, yes; I have always known him! We are good friends."
"He is a smart boy, isn't he?"
"Yes, he is smart, and good, though he gets into trouble now and then.
He is seventeen."
She told them an amusing story or two about Jabez--about adventures
which he had had and trouble into which he had fallen when he was a
little fellow, because of a determination to get his own way. She ended
with an account of his last venture in taking Eunice's garden for the
summer, so as to make some money, because he "was bound to put himself
through college, and _be_ somebody."
Amos listened in silence.
"Do you suppose he'll do it?" said Ned.
"I think so. Oh, yes, he is sure to succeed! His grandfather will help
him, perhaps, when he sees that he is determined to be educated. But,
whether he helps him or not, Jabez is bound to succeed."
"I wonder if the hardest things aren't the easiest after all!" said
Amos. "I mean, that we don't always care much about what we can get
without much trouble."
"He means, _he_ don't care about going to college," said Ned; "but
father means he shall."
"Oh, yes, I suppose I shall go! But I'd a good deal rather go West to
Uncle John's great farm."
"You can do both," said Fidelia.
"It takes five years to get through Amherst College."
"Well, you can spare them. You are young. How old are you?"
"I was fifteen in May."
"Only fifteen! I thought you were older than that."
Amos looked pleased.
"How nearly are you ready for college?"
"I might go this fall; but father thinks I had better wait a year. I
don't care."
"I think so too--if you don't care. Next year Jabez may go too. I only
wish he had your chance--and yet I am not sure. He may do all the
better for having to work his way through. But for one to have your
chance, and not to care for it, that I cannot understand!" added Fidelia
gravely.
"My father is not a rich man," said Amos.
"No--not as Mr Kent is rich. But an education such as he is able and
willing to give his boys will be worth more--if they take the good of
it--than all Mr Kent's money would be. You don't realise, your
privileges, young man."
She said a good deal more than that. Amos had heard much of it before,
but somehow it sounded differently repeated by this girl with laughing
lips and shining eyes, and with now and then a touch of only
half-conscious scorn for the eyes that would not see and the hands that
did not care to seize the chances for which others were eager to strive.
Amos had not much to say as they rose and turned homewards.
By-and-by they stopped to rest, leaning for a little on the crooked
fence on the brow of the hill, from which more than one tree-shaded town
could be seen, and many cultivated fields and rough pastures, and broken
stretches of woodland, with the light of a wonderful sunset lying on
them all. It was a fair scene, suggestive of peace and plenty and
contentment; and, looking on it, Fidelia lifted up her voice and sang--
"My country, 'tis of thee, Sweet land of liberty--Of thee I sing!" and
so on to the end. Amos looked up amazed, and at the second verse struck
in a true boy's second. So did Ned; and even Franky, climbing up to the
top rail of the fence, tuned his shrill pipe with the rest.
Of course they sang "My Country" to the tune which belongs to it--a tune
which with these words, and with other words, has stirred and thrilled
patriotic breasts on both sides of the sea for many a year and day.
Fidelia and the Austin boys called it "America," but on the other side
of the sea it is called "God save the Queen." They sang it there on the
hill-top, with all their hearts. Then they sang "The Star-spangled
Banner" and "Hail! Columbia!" as they took their way through field and
wood; and more besides, till tired old ladies, rocking themselves in
their chairs and taking their rest at open doors caught the sound and
smiled; and boys and girls, milking their cows in pasture corners,
paused in their work to listen.
Tired? That was the very last thing they were thinking of as they
passed the south porch, on their way to the kitchen with their fish.
Fidelia nodded and smiled to the party sitting there, waiting to be
called to tea, but passed on to the kitchen with the boys, where the
fish was displayed to the admiring eyes of cousin Abby and the doctor.
"And so Miss Fidelia did not scare away the fishes, as girls generally
do?" said cousin Abby.
"I guess she didn't. I tell you, she knows how!" said Ned.
"She's first-rate," said Frank.
Fidelia laughed--"I have had a good time. I should like to go again
some day."
"And why should you not? And Nellie shall go next time. I don't
believe she has had so good a time at home," said the doctor, as his
daughter came in.
"Oh, yes, I have had a pretty good time! But I should like to go
fishing with the boys and Fidelia next time. You feel better, don't
you, Fie?" said Nellie, as they went upstairs together; and her friend
assured her that the day's tramp with the boys had done her good.
On the bed, as smooth as cousin Abby's skill in ironing could make it,
and adorned with here and there a knot of ribbon which Fidelia had not
put on, lay the white dress which was "to be kept for Sunday."
"I thought I had better have it all ready," said Nellie hurriedly, "as I
thought you might be late. We are going to have company this evening--
just the Newtons, and Conways, and a few others. Mother thought she
would like Mrs Kent and the girls to see some of our friends, and this
was the best night for them to come. I am sorry it happened so, for you
must be tired--though you don't look tired."
"I am not a bit tired. And don't look so troubled, child. Oh, yes,
I'll wear the white gown--red ribbons and all! I'll do my best to do
you credit."
"How you talk, Fidelia! But I do want you to look nice. Father says--"
But what her father said Fidelia was not to hear. A knock came to the
door, and cousin Abby entered with a tray.
"Doctor said Miss Fidelia had better have her tea up here, and rest a
spell till the company come. She mustn't get too tired, you know," said
the old lady, smiling.
"Well, there! I might have had the sense to think of that myself, and
saved you the trouble," said the delighted Nellie.
Fidelia said nothing, but she cleared a place on the table for the tray,
and thanked the old lady with a kiss.
"If you should drop asleep for half an hour it wouldn't hurt you any,"
said Cousin Abby as she closed the door.
And, in the midst of her questioning as to why these people should be so
kind to her, Fidelia did fall asleep, and woke only when, an hour later,
Nellie returned ready dressed and eager to help her--
"You look quite nice!" was all Nellie allowed herself to say to her
friend as they went downstairs together. "Now they'll see for
themselves whether she is beautiful or not," she was saying to herself;
but she knew it would not be wise to say it to Fidelia.
Of course Miss Austin had to be ready to receive their friends; and
Fidelia fortunately found Amos entertaining the minister with an account
of the day's sport and the pleasures of a day among the hills.
"Here is Miss Fidelia. She knows all about it," said the boy; and they
had a pleasant half-hour together.
Nellie's triumph began when Judge Newton asked her whether the tall girl
standing talking to the minister was the beautiful Miss Avery they had
heard so much about. More than one asked the same question.
"Oh, no," said Nellie demurely, "that is only my room-mate, Fidelia
Marsh! Wait till you see Miss Avery."
And she had another little triumph when, drawn towards the piano by the
exquisite touch of Miss Kent, Fidelia almost unconsciously put out her
hand to turn the page of the difficult music she was playing, and kept
on turning it to the end. It was the look of surprise which passed
between Miss Kent and her cousin that delighted Fidelia's friend.
"You play, do you not?" said Miss Kent, rising.
"Not as you play. Oh, please don't go yet!" said Fidelia earnestly.
"Sing something, Ella," said her cousin. "Sing this"--laying a song
open before her. "No, Miss Marsh. I will turn the music. You must
only enjoy it."
And Fidelia did enjoy it, as she had seldom enjoyed music before;
growing pale and red by turns, as the thrilling voice rose and fell.
For the moment the enjoyment was perfect. When it ceased, Fidelia would
have slipped quietly out of the room. Miss Kent rose.
"You sing, I am sure, Miss Marsh?"
"No," said Fidelia gravely; "I do not sing."
"Fidelia!" exclaimed Nellie.
"No," repeated Fidelia; "I don't sing. I have only just found it out."
"And what is this Amos has been telling us about your starting the
echoes among the hills on your way home to-night?" said Dr Everett, who
had drawn near.
"_I_ think you can sing," said Amos. "Oh, yes, I can sing to please
Amos!" said Fidelia, trying to speak lightly, but troubled under the
eyes of those who had gathered round the piano, and more troubled still
by the rush of her own vexed thoughts.
"Is it envy?" she was saying to herself. "Is it pride and jealousy and
discontent? Am I going to disappoint Eunice, after all? Oh, I am not
good!"
She did not know who proposed it, or how it happened, but in a little
Miss Kent seated herself at the piano again, and the young people
gathered round her, "to sing something they all could sing,"--a much
more enjoyable affair to most uneducated singers than just to sit and
listen to fine music. Of course they began with "The Star-spangled
Banner;" and if Fidelia's voice did not ring out quite as it had rung
out to please the boys among the hills, it still caused the Boston
cousins to exchange surprised glances, thus giving the watchful Nellie
another moment of delight. They did not sing long, however; and when
Miss Kent rose again, Fidelia moved away to the other end of the room,
believing that the pleasure of the evening was over for her.
But it was not. She found herself in a little listening with much
interest to the minister and the judge as they discussed a question
which had come up before the last ministerial association of the county,
and thinking it would be something to tell Eunice about when she went
home. In the midst of it a voice said,--
"Miss Fidelia, I have a message for you from your sister."
"From Eunice?"--and she turned to see Dr Justin Everett standing beside
her.
"Yes. I went to Halsey with my brother this morning, and have only just
returned. We called to see your sister on our way."
"She is well?"
"That is part of the message she sent to you. She says you are not to
hurry home, as my brother seemed to think you meant to do. You are to
stay and have a good time. She does not need you in the least. No;
that is not part of her message. But she is going with Mrs Stone to
pay a visit of a week over in Northwood, and you are to stay here till
that is over. She will write fully to-morrow."
"I am glad she is strong enough even to think of a visit to Northwood."
"Yes; and Mrs Stone will take excellent care of her. The change will
do her good. And your change will do you good also."
"It has done me good already."
Then he gave her another message from his niece, Susie Everett, and told
her several items of Halsey news; and then some one came to interrupt
their talk; and then the evening went on as all such evenings do, until
the guests rose to go away. And Fidelia was saying to herself, while
she listened to Nellie's remarks on things in general, that Eunice and
Dr Justin were good friends again, and she was not sure whether she was
glad or sorry that it should be so.
CHAPTER SIX.
DISCONTENT.
In looking back on it afterwards, and in talking it all over with her
sister, Fidelia could hardly decide whether she had had more pain or
pleasure in the week which followed. It was a time she did not like to
think about. There had been no real cause for pain, she acknowledged.
She had acknowledged as much as that at the time, and she had known that
she ought to be ashamed of herself.
That she--Fidelia Marsh--should have a single uncomfortable moment over
a faded dress, or the appearance of a last summer's bonnet, was
humiliating--she who had never cared about her clothes! She had never
thought much about her clothes in any way. Eunice had always done that
for her, as she had done other things. At home she had thought herself
as well dressed as her neighbours. At the seminary there had been no
time to think about dress; and there had been other faded alpacas there
as well as hers. Why should she think about her clothes now? She was
ashamed of herself. But it was not clothes altogether. She did not
"fit in" among these people. They were different from her--or, rather,
she was different from them.
Everybody was pleasant and kind. Miss Avery even, whom she liked least,
was especially friendly--she seemed to seek her out always. She sat
with her on the lawn in the morning, and in the evenings brought a stool
and sat at her feet, while they listened to Miss Kent's music. They
walked and talked together; and why should she not like Miss Avery, who
seemed to like her and to wish to be with her? Why should she shrink
from her questions about Eunice and their home life, and their
friendship with the Everetts, and answer them briefly, and go over all
that had been spoken between them in her own thoughts afterwards, in
fear of having said something that she ought not to have said?
She liked Miss Kent, though she was a grave and silent person who did
not seem to have much to say to any one. They had their love of music
in common, and Fidelia was grateful for Miss Kent's quietly given hints
on that subject, and profited by them. She was at her ease with her,
but she was not at ease with Miss Avery.
"And why not?" asked Nellie Austin, to whom she one day made the
admission. "I'm sure she seems to think everything that is good about
you. To-night, when you were sitting together, before the lamps were
brought in, Mrs Kent said what friends you seemed to be; and Dr Justin
said what a picture you made, sitting there in the fire-light."
"Yes, I guess so! The picture of a hen and a humming-bird!" said
Fidelia, laughing. "If he saw anything but Miss Avery and a feather
duster it is a wonder. I have no doubt Miss Avery realised how pretty
the picture was, as well as he. No, I am not cross nor sarcastic
either, and I am willing to act as a set-off to her now and then, if it
is to do her any good. But I can't just say I like quite so much of
that kind of thing."
"Fidelia," said Nellie gravely, "we shall have to let you go fishing
again with the boys."
"Yes, let us go. Is it too late to make a plan for to-morrow? We
should have to make an early start."
"It is too late to plan for to-morrow. Amos has gone to bed. And,
besides, we couldn't go to-morrow; we are going to Colonel Green's. And
the day after to-morrow we are all going to the Summit; and those who
like can go by the way of Smellie's Brook, and go to the Summit by the
other path."
"Well, I will go with the boys, and you had better come with us. That
was the most delightful day I have had in Eastwood--the day I had with
Amos and his brothers at the brook."
"Thank you, for myself and all the rest. Faithful, what is the matter
with you these days?" said Nellie, laying her hand gently on her
friend's hair, "There is something the matter, is there not, dear?"
"There must be, if you say so; but I can't tell you what it is. I must
be `gettin' kind o' nervous,' as Deacon Ainsworth says of his wife.
It's queer, isn't it? I, who never knew there were nerves, until I
learned it out of a school-book! I guess I want Eunice. She'll set me
all right. I never had any bad feelings yet that she couldn't deliver
me from, in one way or another. Oh, yes; I shall be all right as soon
as I see my Eunice!"
But she was not quite sure of it, even when she said it.
The next day, instead of going with the rest to pay a visit to friends
in a neighbouring town, Fidelia chose to stay at home and help cousin
Abby with her preparations for the expedition to the Summit, as the
highest hill in the neighbourhood was called, and had a better time than
if she had gone with the rest. She enjoyed helping Miss Abby, and she
enjoyed her talk while the work went on. For Miss Abby Chase saw
clearly--had all her life seen clearly--many things which eyes intent
only on personal interests might easily have overlooked. Her talk did
not flow on in "a straight stream," so as to become wearisome; but now
and then a remark was made, or a word of advice given, or a bit of
personal experience told, of which Fidelia made a note, saying to
herself: "I must remember to tell Eunice that. How Eunice would like to
hear cousin Abby talk!"
They had not, for various reasons, been ready to begin "in the cool of
the morning," as was Miss Abby's custom when there was anything special
to do. The day was warm, and, though the work was pleasant work, it was
hard work too in a way. But no feeling of weariness could interfere
with the satisfaction with which they viewed results. The success was
complete.
"They will spoil a good housekeeper if they make a schoolmistress of
you!"--as Fidelia stood folding her apron, and regarding with admiring
eyes a big chicken-pie which Mattie had just brought in from the oven.
"But I don't suppose you'd care about spending your life as a
housekeeper, when you might have higher work to do."
"Higher work? Yes, I suppose so. Teaching is either the highest work,
or it is drudgery. I suppose it depends upon the teacher," said Fidelia
gravely. "But any sort of work is good if it is needed, and if it is
well done--as we have done our work to-day," added she, smiling.
"Yes; and it is something to do well the humblest work, when others are
helped by it to do the highest. And then the Lord doesn't always see
`high' and `low' just as we do. And those who just help other folks'
works, and come into other folks' lives, without having much of a life
of their very own, may have a good time too--yes, and a good reward."
"Yes," said Fidelia, thinking of her sister. "Miss Abby, don't you go
visiting sometimes? Won't you come to our house and see my sister? She
would like to have you, and I am sure you would like each other."
"I should be pleased to visit you and your sister. Yes, I should like
her. I like what I have heard about her. I saw her once--she visited
here a long time ago."
"Did she? I don't think I ever knew it. Was she a little girl? Was it
with our father that she came?"
"No; she was a grown woman--a sweet and beautiful young woman. She
stayed two or three days. There was company in the house, and I
remember they all went one day to the Summit. It was with Dr Justin
Everett that she came."
"Ah!" said Fidelia, sitting suddenly down on the window-seat.
They had come into Miss Abby's room by this time, and the old lady was
resting in the rocking-chair while Fidelia lingered, going on with their
talk.
"It was just about the time when her grandmother grew worse. No, I
didn't see much of her; I had more to do in those days. I saw her, but
we did not speak together, and I have nothing special to tell you about
her, dear, only that I saw her when she came. I have often thought of
her since."
Fidelia sat still, with her chin on her hand and her eyes fixed on the
far-away hills; and Miss Abby could not but see the change that had
passed over her face. But she did not speak.
The old trouble about Eunice was stirring at her heart. Eunice had
always helped others; she had only come in for "a part in other folks'
lives," as Miss Abby had said. Had Eunice "had a good time and a good
reward?" She had been at least content during the last few years. Was
she content still? Was she grieving over the past, or was she wishing
for that which could never be hers?--"for that which is really not worth
having or grieving for, if she only knew it!" thought Fidelia, with an
angry flush rising to her cheeks, as the thought of Miss Avery, and the
interest which Dr Justin seemed to take in her, came to her mind.
"She doesn't care. I don't think she would care; but, oh, I wish I were
quite sure! Surely the Lord would never let that trouble come into her
life again, after all she has done and suffered."
She sat long with her eyes fixed on the hills beyond the river, on which
the glory of the sunset lay; and when at last she turned to meet the
grave looks of Miss Abby, she started and grew red, with a feeling that
the old lady must know her thoughts. But Miss Abby only said,--
"Think of it! I had forgotten all about the eggs. I must go down
again." And when she had gone out and shut the door, she opened it
again to say,--"You had better stay right here in my room, hadn't you,
and rest? There will be some noise in the other part of the house when
they all get home. I may go over to see Sally Hanson a minute; I have
something to take to her. But I guess you had better stay here."
Whether she went to see Sally Hanson or not, she stayed away a good
while, and it was growing dark when she returned. Fidelia still sat
with her cheek on her hand, and her eyes on the hills, hardly seen now
in the gathering gloom.
"Well, dear, are you rested? You have been having a quiet time, haven't
you?"
"Oh, yes! I was not tired--only lazy. I suppose I ought to go and
brush my hair and change my dress before they all come home. I wonder
if I need go down at all? They will be tired enough not to wish to see
any one."
"Well, yes, I'd go down a spell, if I were you, for the sake of being
friendly."
"Do you suppose I should be missed?" said Fidelia, with a laugh which
did not sound so pleasantly to the old lady as Fidelia's laugh usually
did.
"You don't feel very well to-night, do you, dear? I guess you are
over-tired, though you don't know it. Or is there anything else the
matter with you, Miss Fidelia?"
"If there is I don't know, or at least I can't talk about it."
She rose and approached Miss Abby as she spoke, conscious that her words
might sound strange; but turned to the window again, and stood looking
out into the gloom, and there was silence for a time. Then Miss Abby
said gently,--
"But you know just where to carry your trouble, dear. Whatever it may
be, it isn't beyond help, is it? How can it be to a Christian?"
Fidelia made no answer to this.
"Have you been living up to your privileges over there in the seminary,
dear? I have always heard that it was a good place in which to grow in
knowledge and in grace. You haven't been so much taken up with your
books as to neglect better things, have you? Fidelia, are you a
Christian?"
There was a moment's silence before Fidelia answered.
"I once thought I was a Christian. Now I do not know--I am not sure."
"And so you got kind of down and discouraged, and no wonder, dear."
Fidelia had to resist a strong impulse to rush away, when Miss Abby rose
and came to the window.
"But you needn't be discouraged. If you are not sure of your hope, you
must just let it go, and come again to Him who is our only hope, and it
will be all right with you. If you have fallen back, it must be because
you have failed to ask His help, or your heart has been after other
things. But you haven't done anything, or neglected anything that He
will not be glad to forgive if you'll tell Him of it, dear. You needn't
be a mite discouraged. I'd be glad to help you if I could," said Miss
Abby, laying her hand gently on that of the girl. "I'm an old woman
now, and I've seen a good many things in my time, and I have suffered
some, too, but not any more than I'm glad to look back upon now.
Anyhow, it never pays to get discouraged."
"Discouraged!" thought Fidelia. "Why, I think I am wrong all through.
I am not sure that even Eunice can set me right now." Aloud she
said--"No; it does no good to be discouraged."
Then they heard the south gate open, and knew that the young people had
returned; and, before Fidelia had time to escape, Nellie was calling her
name on the stairs, and there was no time for more.
Of course they went downstairs together, and heard all about the visit,
and whom they had seen, and what they had said and heard and done, and
how sorry every one was that Miss Marsh had not gone with them. And no
one would have suspected that Miss Marsh was "discouraged," or even
tired, so interested was she in it all. Indeed, she seemed to have more
to say than usual, and even became boastful, as Nellie declared, when
allusion was made to the preparations for next day's expedition to the
Summit.
Miss Avery was even more demonstrative in her friendliness than usual
that night; and as she was so much fatigued that she found it necessary
to recline on the sofa, she would have Fidelia bring a low seat and sit
beside her, saying she had seen enough of all the rest for one day.
Fidelia sat down willingly enough, but she would not give up her hand to
be caressed, as Miss Avery desired; she was busy covering a ball for
Franky; and in a little she found it necessary to go nearer the light,
but not before Miss Avery had whispered a few words in her ear.
"What a good woman your sister must be! How lovely she must have been
when she was young! Dr Justin Everett thinks her nearly perfect."
She had no time to say more. Fidelia rose suddenly, and, without a
glance toward her, walked across the room; and Dr Justin, coming in
with letters in his hand, alone saw the paleness of her face and the
anger in her eyes. Miss Avery rose from the sofa, and in her pretty
eager way came forward to claim her letters.
"Now, Dr Justin, there must be one at least for me! Do say you have
got one for me this time," said she, clasping her hands imploringly.
The doctor laid the letters on the table without a word. It was Nellie
who distributed them, and the last one was for Fidelia.
"Now you will be happy! It is from your sister," said she.
There were letters for several of the others; and in the interest of
receiving and opening them, Fidelia was allowed to slip out of the room
unnoticed, and only returned in time to say good-night.
"And it must be `good-bye' too, I am afraid, as I must go home to-morrow
morning. Eunice wants me. No; she is not sick, but she wants me. I
have told Mrs Austin all about it, and she says I ought to go. Amos
has promised to take me to the depot in the morning."
"But our trip to the Summit?"
"You must stay for that!"
"One day can make no difference!"
Fidelia was sorry to miss the day's pleasure, but a day would make much
difference. The letter had been delayed one day already, and her sister
had several reasons for wishing her to come home at once.
"But your packing! You will have to be up all night. You must let me
help you, Miss Marsh! Now say you will," pleaded Miss Avery with pretty
beseeching gestures.
Fidelia laughed.
"My packing! It is all done already, thank you. You will see the last
of me to-night."
It was not quite the last to several of the party. The departure was
not so early but that all the family were down, and even Miss Avery had
a chance to say good-bye again from the window, as Fidelia and Amos
drove off. She proposed that they should wait a little, that she might
drive with them, but this was not to be thought of.
"Dr Justin wanted to drive you down, but I said I had promised," said
Amos gravely; "you don't care, do you?"
"I should have been very sorry if you had forgotten your promise or
broken your word. I would not have cared to trouble Dr Justin
Everett."
"Oh, it wouldn't have troubled him any! He'd as lief come with you as
not, I guess. If any one had come, it ought to have been Nellie; but I
told her I had something to tell you, and she was very good about it.
As for Miss Avery, I guess she didn't care much about going. You like
Miss Avery pretty well, don't you?"
"Oh, yes! Not as I like Nellie, you know. But Miss Avery has been--
very--"
"Kind and condescending!" said Amos, as Fidelia paused for a word.
They both laughed a little, but nothing more was said about Miss Avery.
A good deal was said about things in general, but not a word which
Nellie and all the rest of them might not have heard; and Fidelia began
to think she had misunderstood the boy as to his having something to say
to her. But when the horse had been securely fastened at a safe
distance from the track, they turned to walk up and down the platform.
During the few minutes that remained, Amos said,--
"I am going to tell father that I am going to college this fall or next,
just as he thinks best."
"Yes, of course," said Fidelia. "Well?"
"That is all; and it isn't `of course' by a good deal. I had about made
up my mind for something else. I was going West, to see how it looked
out there, any way."
"Not without your father's knowledge?"
"No--I don't know as I should have gone with his knowledge and consent.
But he'd have let me go, I guess, if I had kept at him, even if he had
hated to."
Fidelia shook her head.
"That is not the kind of talk I should expect to hear from you, Amos,
with such a father as you have." Amos hung his head, but said,--"Well,
I've changed my mind. I am going to college, and I am going to do my
best. Yes; it is partly to please father, and partly because I see
things a little differently. Do you remember what you said to me that
day on the hill?"
"I am afraid I talked a good deal that day. I don't think I remember
anything particular."
"It was about the honour of having a part in the highest work of all,
and about the duty of preparing one's self to do it in the best way. I
am going to have a try for it, any way," said Amos, with a break in his
voice.
Fidelia put out her hand and touched his, but she did not speak for a
full minute. She was thinking,--"A word of mine! That can't be--
discontented, worldly-minded girl that I have proved myself to be! I am
not worthy." Aloud she said,--"I am glad, Amos. Tell me more."
"It was only a word you said, but it set me thinking; though I don't see
why it should, for mother, and cousin Abby, and even Nellie, have said
about the same to me often. I suppose it was because it seemed new as
you said it; and I had got kind of used to cousin Abby's good advice,
and even to mother's. But I made up my mind that I would see the thing
through this time, and decide one way or another. What Dr Justin said
helped me some. I mean to try and be a good man--a servant of God,"
added the boy, speaking with difficulty.
"Amos," said Fidelia, "do you mean that you have become a Christian?"
"I mean that I wish to be a Christian, and to have a part in the very
highest work, if the Lord will have me for His servant."
"_If_, Amos? There is no `if' on the Lord's side."
Then she paused, telling herself that she too had desired to have a
share in the highest work, and asking herself whether she had not drawn
back. She did not know. She only knew that she was all wrong, and that
she too must begin again.
"I, too, shall have to decide once for all. Oh, I must!"
There was no time for more, for the shriek of the engine was heard in
the distance.
"Amos, I am so glad! And I am glad you have told me. I wish I knew
just the right thing to say to you. I can only say I am glad. I wish
you could come and talk with my Eunice. Oh, dear--just as if you hadn't
your father and mother, and cousin Abby! But my first thought is always
of my Eunice," added Fidelia, with an uncertain smile. "Good-bye, dear
Amos. Everybody in your home has been so good to me; and I am glad for
them all. They will be very happy."
There was not time for another word. As Amos turned from the window as
the train moved on, he stumbled on some one--or, rather, some one
stumbled on him--and he had no idea who it was till a voice called
out,--
"Just in time, Amos! A miss is as good as a mile;" and he ran forward
in time to catch a glimpse of Dr Justin Everett on the platform of the
cars as the train moved on.
Fidelia had not seen the approach of Dr Justin; and it was a surprise,
to say the least, when he entered the car, and, bidding her "Good
morning," took his seat beside her, as if that had been the most natural
thing in the world to do.
"I did not know you thought of going to Halsey this morning. What about
the Summit?" said Fidelia.
"It looks ungrateful to leave them, does it not? But it could not be
helped; I did not know till late last night that I was expected
elsewhere this morning. And I am at least no more to blame than you
are."
Fidelia made no answer to that. They could see the Summit as they
turned a curve among the hills.
"It looks pleasant up there!" said she.
"Yes, with the morning sunshine on it."
"I am sorry it happened that I could not go up with Nellie and the rest.
I should have enjoyed it, and it would have been something always to
remember."
"Yes, it would have been something to remember," said Dr Justin.
The sound of his voice had quite changed, and the look on his face also,
Fidelia thought, as she glanced up at him.
"Have you ever been at the Summit?" said she; and then she remembered.
"Yes. Once I was on the Summit," he answered gravely; and he did not
remove his eyes from the mountain while it was in sight, nor did a word
pass between them for some time after that. It was Dr Justin who spoke
first, and his first words were about her friend Amos.
"I should like to take him West with me; and your friend Jabez Ainsworth
as well. They are bound to go there first or last."
"Oh, but you must not think of such a thing! His father would not like
it. Amos is going to please his father now, he says, and go to college.
Don't speak of his going West, please."
"Well, no; not just at present; but when these boys are `thoroughly
furnished,' as there is good hope they may be in time, the great West is
the place for them, and for many more of their sort. They are needed
there now, and will be needed still more in the future."
"I like Amos. He will do his part well wherever he is," said Fidelia.
"Yes, I am sure he will."
"And Jabez, too, in a different way. Jabez and I have always been good
friends."
"Yes, I know. You have helped them both."
"I have helped Jabez with his arithmetic and grammar, and with good
advice, too, sometimes," added she, laughing; "but as for Amos, if I
have ever helped him, it has been without knowing it."
"That is the best kind of help to give, I think," said Dr Justin,
smiling.
The Austin family was a safe subject to discuss, and they held to it for
awhile. Fidelia told about her good fortune in having Nellie for her
room-mate at the seminary, and of the many pleasant things they had
enjoyed together during the year. When she thought about it afterwards,
she wondered at the ease with which she had talked with him, and hoped
she had not talked too much.
As they drew near to the last stopping-place before reaching Halsey, Dr
Justin stooped to lift his handbag, saying,--
"My brother is waiting for me here, I think. We are going to M--to see
a patient of his, about whom he is anxious. Have you a message to send
to any one in Eastwood: I go back there to-night."
"I shall send a message to-morrow by mail, I thank you," said Fidelia a
little stiffly. She was indignant with herself in feeling a little
disappointed that he was not going on to Halsey.
"Well, good-bye. We ought to be friends, you and I, and we shall be
friends in time." And then he was gone.
CHAPTER SEVEN.
HOME AGAIN.
Fidelia did not have to take her homeward way through fields and woods
this time. Jabez was waiting with his grandfather's "team," which was
more than capable of taking her and all her belongings.
"All well, Jabez?" said Fidelia, as she caught sight of his smiling
sunburnt face.
"Oh, yes, pretty much as usual! Miss Eunice is first-rate;" and with
this satisfactory though rather indefinite assurance Fidelia had to
content herself till all things were safely bestowed in the wagon, and
they were on their way home. Then she did not need to ask questions.
Jabez had the faculty of putting a good deal of information into a few
words; and as she listened, Fidelia got a summary of all that had been
said and done--or at least attempted--in town-meeting, church-meeting,
and even in school meeting, with personal and domestic items of the
neighbours thrown in here and there as he went on. He had an interested
and appreciative listener, and he knew it and did his best to be at the
same time comprehensive and brief.
"And the garden, Jabez? I hope that has been a success," said Fidelia
at last.
"Well, yes--pretty middling;" and then a brief but clear and
satisfactory statement of the sowing and planting, the transplanting,
watering, and hoeing which had followed; of what the bugs and worms had
taken, and what had come to maturity; of how all had in general been
disposed of, and the net results in dollars and cents.
It was not a large sum, but it was the first money that Jabez had ever
earned--that is, it was the first he had earned for himself, though he
had done a good many fair days' work for his grandfather. He had all he
needed as to food, clothes, and schooling. He had been as well off as
most boys in the state; and the boys in the state where Jabez lived were
bound to believe that nowhere in the world were the boys better off than
they were. But Jabez had never before owned a tenth of the money which
by cents and dimes he had been accumulating through the summer; and his
dollars meant more to him by a great deal than his first ten thousand--
should he ever possess such a sum--could possibly do.
"It isn't so much, but it is a beginning. I tell you, Fidelia, it feels
good to be earning money for yourself--to be independent and to kind o'
see your way clear. If I were to set out for it, I could be a rich man
before I died."
"Would it pay, do you suppose?" said Fidelia gravely.
"Well, judging by the pains folks take to get rich, it ought to pay.
There would have to be a good many other things along with it to make it
amount to--well, to satisfaction."
Fidelia laughed, partly at his way of expressing himself, and partly at
the extreme gravity of his countenance.
"I expect more from you, Jabez, than just to die a rich man. Many can
do as much as that."
"Oh, well, I say before I die; but I mean a good while before, so that I
should have the benefit a spell! I say I _could_ do it."
"I hope you haven't let your lettuce and cucumbers put your Nepos and
Euclid out of your head. If I were you, I would make up my mind to be a
learned man rather than a rich man, though, as you remarked, there would
have to be something else along, to make even that amount to
satisfaction."
"And better be a wise man than either one or the other. That would be
about the right thing to end off with, wouldn't it?" said Jabez, looking
up with a smile. "But about Nepos--I've tackled him; and I find him
pretty tough. As for Euclid--I've walked through the first four books
without a hitch. I've had considerable satisfaction out of him. Give
me any proposition you like--well, some time, as we've got almost home.
And I've never asked you a word about what _you_ have been doing. I
have thought about you often enough."
"That may wait too; I haven't done very much."
"But if Miss Eunice keep so pretty well, you're going back again, aren't
you?"
Fidelia turned on him a startled look. She had been at ease of late
with regard to her sister, partly because she had been much occupied,
and partly because of the cheerful tone of her sister's letters.
Jabez's words were spoken just as they had reached the top of the hill,
where, on her last return home, she had caught sight of Dr Everett; and
a sudden pang of the fear that had seized her then came back upon her
now. She forgot to answer the lad's question, and took little heed of
all that he was saying as they went down the hill.
But when they turned the little curve which the road made round a
projecting rock, and came in sight of the house, her heart leaped up
with a sense of relief, and a rush of happy tears came to her eyes. For
at the gate, serene and smiling, stood Eunice, waiting. The light which
fell on the expressive face came trembling through the boughs of the elm
which waved and murmured above. But Fidelia only saw the face.
Afterwards it all came back to her--the vine and the pale blossoms that
lingered, and the flickering shadows never to be forgotten; but it was
her sister's face that she saw first.
She might have been more beautiful in her youth which was past, but now
she was more than beautiful. The "afterwards" had come--of the
chastening, "not joyous, but grievous," which she had endured in her
youth; and the "peaceable fruits" of the promise were appearing. Very
fragile she looked, but cheerful and bright.
"To think that I ever should have been afraid for my Eunice!" said
Fidelia with a sob, before her foot touched the ground.
"Well, dear, safe home!" was her sister's gentle greeting.
"Home at last!" Fidelia answered.
Few words were spoken, either of welcome or rejoicing. Few were needed.
It was not the way of either of them to say out easily all that was in
her heart; and in a little they were sitting as quietly as they sat that
last day, when Dr Everett brought Fidelia home. It was spring-time
then; and now the summer was nearly over--the summer which had done
something for Eunice, as her sister clearly saw, but which, even to
herself, she could not name.
She was not so much stronger as Fidelia had hoped to find her. There
was the same paleness, with the same quick flush coming and going on her
cheek when anything moved her, beautiful but sad to see. She had been
peaceful then, even cheerful, but there had been some tokens that the
peace had been striven for, and had come slowly, perhaps to go away
again. Now it was assured. And Fidelia said again to herself, "How
could I have been afraid?"
As Eunice went on to tell how, after all, Mrs Stone had decided not to
delay her departure after the day appointed, Fidelia was recalling with
sorrowful amazement her troubled thoughts about Dr Justin and Miss
Avery, and her doubts as to how Eunice might feel when she came to know.
Neither the one nor the other, nor both together, could harm her, nor
even trouble her peace. "Nor any one or anything else in the world,"
she added in her heart.
"I think I am a little glad that Mrs Stone went, after all," Eunice was
saying, when Fidelia came back to the present again. "I am glad to have
you to myself a little while: you must have a great deal to tell me
after so long a time, and we won't hurry over it. It is good to have
you at home again."
"It is good to be at home, though they were all very good to me in
Eastwood."
"You are not looking very rosy even yet," said Eunice gravely.
"Oh, I am perfectly well; and so I was when I went there, only I was
tired. Yes, I liked every one of them. They were all very good to me."
"And the visitors?"
"I liked them pretty well. I envied them a little, I am afraid. It was
silly of me, wasn't it, and wicked? But I have got over it, and I don't
suppose I shall ever be exposed to the same temptation again--I mean, I
have seen the last, of them, I guess--of Miss Avery at any rate. I am
glad too that Mrs Stone went away for awhile, though I would like to
see her. What is she like?"
"She is good, and sensible, and strong. Some people might think her
hard at first not knowing her well--but she is not hard. She has been
in some hard spots since she used to take care of me as a baby, and she
might have grown hard and sour also, if it had not been, as she says,
`for the grace of God.' But, hard or not, I love her dearly. She suits
me."
"You must have been glad to see her again."
"Yes; when she came I was glad. I was not altogether glad at the
thought of her coming. I suppose I was afraid a little of the old times
coming back too clearly, and that I might be troubled and unsettled by
the sight of her. But it has not been so--far otherwise," added Eunice
with a smile.
A momentary shadow had passed over her face, but Fidelia forgot it in
seeing the brightness that followed it; and she sat thinking about it in
silence, till the gate opened, and Susie Everett came in. But as they
sat the next morning in the back porch, looking out on the large garden,
the subject of Mrs Stone's relations to them was renewed.
"I don't suppose that Ruby will be away long, and before she comes I
want you to understand how it is with her, and just what she would like
to do. Of course you are going back to the seminary next year?"
"Of course I would like to go, if ways and means will permit I would
like to graduate with my class."
"I am afraid you have worked too hard, dear."
"No, not too hard; but I don't think I worked in the best way. I should
do differently next year. At least I should try."
"Tell me about it, dear."
Fidelia sat silent a minute or two, then she said:--
"Some time I will tell you about it--not to-day. But about `ways and
means.' Perhaps I had better teach this year, as I meant to do at
first."
But Eunice had a plan to unfold, by which, should Fidelia approve, all
would be made easy for them both. Mrs Stone wished to stay in Halsey
for a time. The place was more like home than any other place could
ever be to her, and she would like to share the home of the sisters for
a time.
"Would you like it, Eunice?" asked Fidelia a little anxiously.
"Yes; for some reasons I would like it. Mrs Stone is kind and good,
and she does not seem like a stranger to me, though she has been away so
many years. She is capable too, and I am not so strong as I used to
be."
"But you are well, Eunice? You are not afraid any more--of--"
Fidelia could not utter the word which rose to her lips--a word which,
indeed, had never been uttered between them.
"Yes, I am well--for me. No, I am not afraid any more. But, dear, I
own to have been lonesome last winter, and a little downhearted
sometimes."
"I ought to have been at home."
"No, dear. It was all right; and it is best that you should go again
next year for various reasons, rather than to wait. And, besides--"
Then Eunice went on to explain that, though not a rich woman, Mrs Stone
had enough for her own wants, and more. She had no near ties of
kindred, and no special work in the world to look forward to, and work
she could find in Halsey more easily than anywhere else.
"And, dear, if I had been asked to plan for my own comfort, and for a
chance to make going away again easy for you at the same time, I could
not have asked for anything more suitable than this. The obligation and
the comfort will be mutual. Yes, I like the plan."
"Would it be for always, Eunice?"
Eunice smiled and shook her head.
"Dear, I don't much believe in making plans for always. `Short views'
are best, you know. We might try it for a year, and then decide."
"Eunice, if I liked to take it, I might have the school at the Corners
this winter; and I could be at home."
"Yes; and that would be pleasant all round, if it were necessary. But I
think it would be wiser for you to go back to the seminary this winter."
Fidelia did not answer immediately. Indeed, she rose and went the
length of the garden, and stood looking over the fields to the river and
the hills, and she was saying some hard things to herself as she stood
there. In a little she turned and came slowly back again.
"Well, dear, what do you say?" said Eunice gently.
"I say that the plan is good, if you like it. It is I who am all wrong.
It is hateful in me, I know, but, Eunice, I could not have any one come
between you and me. Not _any one_, Eunice."
"But, my darling," cried Eunice, laughing a little, and stretching out
her hands, "that could never be! Why, you are all I have got!"
Fidelia sat down on the step, and laid her face for a minute on her
sister's lap.
"I never knew till lately that I had an envious and jealous
disposition," said she in a little.
"But you need not be jealous of Ruby Stone, or of any one else, as far
as I am concerned, dear. I am almost sorry now, that she did not stay
another day, so that you might have seen her. Oh, you will like her, I
am sure!--she is so sincere and simple, and so much in earnest."
A great deal more was said about their plans, and about Mrs Stone, but
not a word about Dr Justin Everett.
It was good to be at home again. A great many people, young and old,
came to see Fidelia within the next three days. In the meantime Mrs
Stone returned, and all necessary arrangements for the year were made
between her and the sisters. Mrs Stone would have liked to rent the
place or to buy it; but it was not to be thought of that the sisters
should give up their home altogether, and so their plans were made for
the year only.
Mrs Stone was a small dark-eyed woman, thin and brown, with deeper
wrinkles between her eyes than her forty years should have shown. When
she sat with her eyes cast down on her work, and her lips firmly shut,
one who did not know her well might be excused for saying that she
looked "hard." But when she looked up, and spoke, or smiled, her face
changed. She had a good and pleasant face, with some signs of trouble
upon it.
Her married life had been a time of discipline to her, she owned to
Eunice, when they first met, and to her she spoke of the troubles of the
time; but she spoke to no one else of it. She was capable and active,
and did what was to be done in the house with such evident pleasure and
success that the housekeeping gradually fell into her hands, and Fidelia
had more liberty than ever she had at home before. And she made a good
use of her liberty. She had preparations for next year to make, and
friends to visit, and began to feel more light-hearted--more like
herself--than she had done for a good while.
There was much going on to make the time pass pleasantly. Nellie Austin
and her brother Amos were visiting the Everetts; and in whatever was
planned for their pleasure and the pleasure of the household Fidelia had
a share. There were fishing parties and berrying expeditions; and they
went sometimes to the woods, or to visit some mountain or waterfall, or
chasm among the hills.
Dr Everett himself, when one of his rare days of leisure came, liked
nothing better than to go with the young folks; and it was a day to be
marked with a white stone when he could make one of the party. Dr
Justin had more leisure, and could go oftener. Dr Everett was as merry
and as eager for adventures as any of them. Dr Justin was quiet, and
took the place of a looker-on rather than a sharer in the amusements of
the young people. Privately some of them were inclined to think him
something of a tyrant, for he kept them in order, and did not hesitate
to assume and exercise authority when occasion called for it, nor to
reprove--and that with sufficient emphasis--any of them who through
thoughtlessness or selfishness interfered with the pleasure of the rest.
But this did not often happen, and he was a favourite among them all.
Fidelia came to like Dr Justin better than at Eastwood she would have
supposed possible. She went very often with the rest of the young
people, and no one of them all enjoyed the delights of woods and fields
and mountains more than she. Nellie Austin declared that she hardly
recognised in her the dull, determined student of the first part of the
year. She was light-hearted and happy; and she told Nellie, and herself
as well, that she had good cause.
Eunice was well, and every day made it more clear to them that they had
made no mistake in deciding to share their home with Mrs Stone. And
then she was going back to the seminary and her beloved studies again.
Yes, Eunice was very well--"for her," Fidelia sometimes added with a
sigh, which meant that Eunice might never be altogether well and strong
again. But she was happy--there could be no doubt about that. Dr
Justin came sometimes as a visitor to the house, quiet and grave there
as elsewhere; and his quietness and gravity was the reason that Fidelia
liked him better than she had liked him at Eastwood, she told herself.
Nothing could be more evident than that he exerted no disturbing
influence on Eunice. They were friendly--they were even confidential,
Fidelia sometimes thought. But she never spoke of Dr Justin to her
sister, except as his name came in the account which Eunice always liked
to hear of the expeditions in which she could take no part; and she day
by day grew less afraid lest her sister might have something to tell her
of him that she would not like to hear.
But she liked Mr Justin, she owned to herself; and after awhile she
began to see that, though he had less to say to her than to Nellie and
the rest, he was not less mindful of her than of them--that though he
amused himself with them, and submitted to be teased by them, and even
condescended to tease them in return, he had only grave respectful words
for her, and indeed carried himself towards her as though he thought she
might not care for friendly advances on his part; but he was always
careful for her safety and comfort, and one day he told her why.
"I promised your sister that I would take care of you," said he one day,
when he found it necessary to insist on helping her, as well as the
others, over some difficulty in the way.
"Eunice?" said Fidelia, startled. "Eunice knows that I am quite able to
take care of myself."
"But I thought you had been taken care of all your life?" said Dr
Justin as she slowly followed the others up the steep ascent.
"By my Eunice! Yes."
It would not have been easy for either of them to say much of Eunice, so
they were silent as they went slowly on.
This was one of the marked days of that happy time to them all. The
young people had made their arrangements for a blackberrying excursion;
but when it proved that Dr Everett had a day of leisure, and could go
with them, it was proposed that the blackberries should be left for
another day, and that they should all go to the Peak to see the view.
The young Austins were still there, and all the Everetts were to go
except the mother. Jabez and young Mr Fuller, who had been teacher of
last winter's school, and a few others, made up the party. To climb
"the Peak" was a thing to be done at least once or twice in the lifetime
of every dweller in Halsey, and it was worth the trouble it cost.
At the last moment Mrs Stone declared her intention of joining the
party--"just to see how it would seem to be there again;" and Deacon
Ainsworth for a minute or two entertained the idea of going also, but
thought better of it. He had serious doubts as to the moral effect of
so much tramping up hill and down again, just to look at things, in a
world where there is so much work that needed to be done. Blackberrying
parties and fishing expeditions he could understand; but to give so much
time to pleasure which generally turned out to be hard work that did not
pay, was a doubtful matter to him.
All this was said to Jabez, who would have done better, he declared, to
stick to the work he had undertaken. It would pay better.
"Well, but I don't seem to have anything that needs to be done just
to-day, grandpa. And it will pay to go there. Oh, yes, it will pay to
go up there with the two doctors! They'll have something to say about a
good many things we'll see up there--botany, geology, mineralogy, and
all the rest of it. Why, you would enjoy it, grandpa! If it wasn't for
your rheumatism, I'd say, `Go.' I expect to have a real good time."
So did they all. They made an early start, driving as far as horses
could be taken; then, taking an irregular course northwards along the
western side of the mountain, they gradually reached a point from which
could be seen the commencement of the two mountain ranges which extend
through two neighbouring states. It was early still, and here they were
to rest for awhile. The real climbing of the day was still before them.
The view which they had come to see, was the view eastward from the
Peak--the view of a long reach of the river, and the valley and the
cultivated hill country beyond. Here they sat in the shadow of a great
rock, looking northwards to the mountains.
There was little variety in the view--only a wide stretch of broken hill
country, with the grey rock showing through in wide irregular patches,
and along the dry water-courses--all changing into a haze of smoky blue
in the distance, where the mountains seemed to touch the sky. Dr
Justin and a friend, who in their boyish days had been often at the
Peak, and through all the hills within sight of it, pointed out to each
other, the position of their old familiar haunts--the best trout stream,
Silver Lake, the Glen and the Gorge, and by the help of a field-glass
tried to point them out to the others. They could see gleams of blue
water here and there between the nearer hills; and higher up, a tinge of
bright colour where the early frost had already been, but almost
everywhere the summer green prevailed. It was a scene strange and
beautiful; and to those who looked upon it for the first time, the charm
and interest lay in its wide extent and in the utter silence and
solitude resting upon it. There were farms and cottage homes, and even
towns and mills and churches, scattered out of sight among the hills;
workers and pleasure-seekers--the busy and idle--were going to and fro
among them; but the only signs of human life or labour which came up to
those who were gazing down on the wide expanse were the shriek of the
locomotive and the wisp of vaunting vapour which for a moment lingered
on its track.
Mrs Stone sat a little withdrawn from the rest, looking northward also,
with a strange fixed look on her face--the look which made people who
did not know her very well say she was hard. She shook her head,
smiling a little, when Fidelia asked her if she would not like to look
at the mountains through the glass.
"Well, no, I don't seem to care much about it. I didn't come to see
anything in particular. I wanted to see how it would seem to be up here
again--that is all."
"And how does it seem?" asked Dr Justin, who had drawn near with his
glass in his hand.
"Well, I don't know as I could tell you. I am not sorry I came. I
guess I have thought about this place as often as about any other place
in the state in the last ten years. No; I am not sorry I came. I don't
know as I'm sorry I came last time. It is all right, I expect."
"Tell us about last time," said Fidelia softly.
"Some time I'll tell you, maybe. I guess I shall need all my breath
before I get up the Peak. I am not so spry as I was last time I came."
"I'll help you up," said Fidelia.
"Oh, I guess I shan't need any help! I'll start now, and take it
slowly. I don't suppose I shall miss the way."
"I will go with you," said Fidelia.
Dr Justin looked as if he would like to go too, but he did not. He
shut the glass with a snap, and turned to the group still standing on
the edge of the rock looking northwards; and the two set off together.
They went on slowly and silently till they came to a point where the
path they had followed became two paths, the one going up the steep side
of the mountain, the other holding northward along the ledge.
"Now I ought to know which path to take, but I don't feel sure about
this," said Mrs Stone meditatively. "They say the longest way round is
the nearest way home; and according to that we should hold on round the
ledge. The path will take us somewhere."
But it did not seem to do so, for in a little they came up against a
steep rock, and Mrs Stone owned herself at a loss and out of breath.
Fidelia proposed that she should sit down and rest, while she went alone
in search of the path.
"No; we'll keep together. I don't suppose we can be lost; at any rate
two people are not so lost as one alone would be. We'll keep together."
They must have turned themselves round in some way, for they could not
find the point where they had left the ascending path. By-and-by they
came to a shelving rock where the bushes had been recently pressed down;
some broken branches, still unwithered, lay near.
"This must be the near way that Jabez and the boys took," said Fidelia,
"We ought to be able to find our way now."
But they did not find it after several attempts. Mrs Stone was firm in
refusing to let Fidelia separate from her.
"Two are better than one," said she.
At last they came to a point where they got a glimpse of the valley
lying west of the mountain. The land-marks were familiar, only it
seemed as though north and south had changed places, Mrs Stone said.
Another attempt brought them back to the place where they had found the
broken branches, and they had fancied themselves going in the other
direction.
"Well, there! I guess we'd better sit down till some one comes to find
us. Not that we are lost. I never heard yet of any one being lost on
Shattuck Peak for more than an hour or two. Why didn't I think of it
before, dear? Are you too hungry and tired to sing, Fidelia? I
shouldn't wonder if they were beginning to worry about us up there.
They'll be listening."
Fidelia clambered a little higher, and sang "The Star-spangled Banner,"
smiling a little at the thought of the time when she sang it with the
boys on Eastwood Hill. She wondered that she had not thought of lifting
up her voice sooner.
But nothing came of it. Fidelia amused herself gathering some late
flowers, and in searching about for other wild wood treasures, and then
she sang again, and listened for an answering voice; but she listened in
vain.
"I expect we _are_ lost for the time being," said Mrs Stone composedly.
"We'd as well make the best of it, and see what we can do to pass the
time. I wish I had brought my knitting. They'll miss us pretty soon,
and come to find us."
"Tell me about the last time you were on the mountain," said Fidelia.
"To pass the time? Well, that may do as well as anything. But it isn't
much of a story, and what is of it is not very pleasant to tell or to
hear."
The telling of that story involved the telling of much more; but there
was time enough, before an answer came to Fidelia's next song, for all
Mrs Stone had to tell.
CHAPTER EIGHT.
MRS STONE.
Mrs Stone did not tell her story straight on as she sat waiting there
on the mountain side, but with many a break and pause, and with now and
then an exclamation of wonder or indignation at her own foolishness, or
the foolishness of some one else. But she told it quietly--making no
moan for herself, though the troubles of her life had been neither light
nor few.
"Yes, I have had a share of trouble, but no more than my share; and,
take it altogether, I have had considerable enjoyment, too. There was
Eunice--I could never tell the comfort I took with her when she was a
little child. I was only a child myself--little more than twelve or
thirteen years old--when my sister Myra let me go to take care of Eunice
for a spell, when she came home, a motherless baby, to live with her
grandmother Peabody on the hill. Her grandmother was a busy woman in
those days, with many duties at home and elsewhere; and Eunice was a
healthy, happy little creature; and after awhile she was mostly left to
me night and day for years; and I did my very best for her, and we were
very happy together till your father married again and took her home.
"I ought by rights to have gone with her, as they all wanted to have me;
but sister Myra was married by this time, and lived on father's old
place, and she wanted me to come and make my home with her, as I had a
good right to do, seeing the farm was as much mine as hers, by our
father's will. So I tried it a spell. She had two babies by this time,
and I was good with babies, and could have helped her, and been
contented after awhile.
"But Ezra Stone, Myra's husband, wasn't--well, he was peculiar. He was
close--he came from a stingy family, and I don't suppose he was more to
blame for his stinginess than other folks are for being extravagant--he
inherited it. Well, he thought I wasn't needed there: he thought his
wife hadn't any too much to do with her babies, and her cows, and her
housework--no more than other folks had, he said; and he said I might do
better for myself some where else. And he kept at it in his worrying
way, till he rather wore us out at last. And so, when Squire Peabody
came over one day to say that his wife was sick and much in need of
help, Myra said I had better go. I'd have a better time than I'd ever
be likely to have in her house; and maybe after awhile I might be able
to help her and the children more than I could now. So I went, and I
stayed there till--well, till I was married."
There was a long pause here, and Mrs Stone spoke very softly when she
went on again.
"I didn't see so much of Myra after that, as I ought to have done. I
used to see her Sundays at meetings, and we met at some of the
neighbours' houses sometimes; but I did not go often to her house. I
knew she wasn't very happy. She was different from her husband. She
had a big heart and a free hand, and hated his small ways. She was
nervous too, and high strung; and when she had anything on her mind, it
had to come out when occasion called for it. Yes, she could say hard
things!
"But what she said touched her husband just as the water in the brook
touches the stones in its bed. It never moved him; and she wore herself
out at last. She had held out through a good deal for the sake of her
boys; and when she gave up at last, the end was pretty near. I was with
her the last few weeks. She hadn't strength to say much, but it
was--`My boys, Ruby! Keep them in mind and help them all you can,'
whenever we were alone together.
"I think if she had asked me to come and take care of them, and make my
home with them, I must have done it. But she didn't. Ezra's mother was
living there then, and his sister Susan, and I wasn't needed. But I did
pity those pretty slender boys, and the baby between them all. But I
couldn't do anything about it, and I didn't see much of them for a good
while.
"Well, next June I got a letter, which I knew was from Ezra before I
opened it; and I said to myself, `He wants me to sell out my share of
the farm, or maybe sign off altogether for the benefit of Myra's boys.
I have been expecting it all along, and I shan't do it.'
"But I was mistaken. That hadn't come yet. It was a queer composition,
that letter. It was to tell me that there was going to be a picnic at
the Peak for two or three of the Sunday schools in the neighbourhood;
and two of his boys were to be there, and wouldn't I go and see them?
There might be a good many easier ways to see them, I thought, than to
go up the mountain to do it. However, some of the neighbours were
going, so I said I would go."
There was another pause here.
"I was in some trouble about that time myself. I never said anything to
anybody, and I don't suppose anybody suspected it. I had lost my sister
lately, and that might well account for having less to say than usual.
But I had lost another friend--one that would have been more than a
friend if he had lived. We were not to say engaged. We hadn't even
kept company much; but when Jim Sedley died down there at Lowell it went
hard with me, and for awhile the world seemed to have come to an end for
me.
"But I went to the picnic with the rest, and I saw the boys and had a
little talk with them, just long enough to find out that they missed
their mother dreadfully, and that they were much in need of a mother's
care; and my heart ached for the little fellows; and, when they were
called away to join in some play with the rest, I slipped off into the
woods, so as to get away from the talk, and to think it all over by
myself. But thinking didn't help me much. There was one thing I could
do. I could marry Ezra Stone, and so try to be a mother to them; and as
the thought was in my mind I heard Ezra's voice close to me. I would
have hid myself or run away if I could have done it, for I was afraid
that I would do or say something that I would be sorry for all my life.
But I couldn't get away; and there was Ezra saying how glad he was to
see me, and that he had come to the Peak on purpose, and a lot more of
the same kind.
"I was thinking about it all as I sat down there this morning," said
Mrs Stone after a little pause. "A hundred times in the days that
followed I asked myself whether I could believe that the Lord was taking
care of me that day, according to His promise. It was a great while
before I could see it so. But I expect He was, though I never should
have married Ezra Stone if I hadn't gone up the Peak that day. At least
I don't believe I should.
"He didn't begin about that, but about business. His sister Susan was
going to be married to Nathan Pease, whose farm joined father's old
place; and he wanted to buy it, and would I be willing to sell my half
of it? I never had calculated much on anything which was likely to come
to me from the place; but Myra had always advised me to hold on to my
share, and so I said I should have to think about it before I could say
whether I would sell or not.
"There is no call to tell you all his talk. He didn't seem to care
about the place since Myra had gone, he said; and there did not seem to
be much chance for him and his boys at the East. What he wanted to do
was to take what he had and go West with them. There was the best of
land to be had there cheap, and no such hard work needed, and a better
climate. He knew just the place he could have out there in Wisconsin,
and with a little money he could do well for his boys and himself; and
he ended by asking if I would go West with him and help him do for
Myra's boys?
"He knew pretty well what my opinion of him was. I didn't need to say
anything about that. My sister hadn't been much more than six months in
her grave, and I didn't waste words upon him. But all the time it was
borne in upon me that it had got to be, and that it would come to that
at last.
"`It isn't so much a wife that I want as a mother for Myra's children,'
he said; `and I hope, when you come to think of it, you'll see it your
duty to come West with them. If you change your mind, you can let me
know.'
"`It isn't very likely,' said I; but all the time I felt that I would be
as likely to go as not. I told him I would talk over business matters
with Squire Peabody, and that I would sign any papers the squire told me
to sign, when the right time came; but I let him understand that I meant
to have the full value of my share. It would, I thought, be as safe for
Myra's boys in my hands as in his, though I didn't just say that to him.
"Well, he went away, and I sat there thinking it all over, just on the
spot where I sat to-day when you and the other girls were looking
through Dr Justin's spy-glass; and I told myself that I hadn't much of
anything to look forward to, and that, after all, I might as well do one
thing as another. Life didn't seem worth much to me, but I might make
my life worth something to Myra's boys. There is always duty left when
hope is gone, and if I owed duty to any one, surely it was to my
sister's children--so I reasoned. I would wait and see.
"Well, the children came back, and had something more to eat, and sang
some hymns, and then it was time to go. The boys kept close to me as we
all went down to the place where the trains were waiting; and the poor
little fellows cried, and did seem so forlorn when they went away, that
I just couldn't get them out of my thoughts for a long time.
"I didn't think the sale of the farm would come off for awhile, but I
was mistaken. Ezra came over to see the squire one day in October, and
they talked it over, and matters were settled, and papers signed, and my
share of the price of the land made over to me; and Ezra was to go away
at the end of the month. The boys were to be left till spring, till he
could make some kind of a home for them, and he said he depended more on
me than on any one else to see that they were well done by till then:
`For they are more and nearer to you than to any one else except
myself,' he said.
"`It is not likely that I can do much for them while they are in your
mother's keeping,' I said.
"`Oh, mother thinks everything of you!' he said, with a foolish laugh;
`and you've got your share all right. Squire Peabody has seen to that.'
"That was the first winter that Mrs Peabody's health began to fail. It
wasn't long before your father died, and the squire took her South for
the winter, and the house was left to my care; and they said, if I
liked, I might have one or two of Myra's children to keep me company.
So I went over and got Jim, the eldest, so as to give him a chance at
our winter school, and the baby, as everybody called him, though he was
nearly four years old.
"You've heard me tell about my Davie before. I needn't say much about
him. The very first feeling of rest and comfort that had come to me,
after months of lonesome pain, came the first time he fell asleep in my
arms, with his little chapped hand upon my cheek: it was like the coming
back of the time when I had baby Eunice to care for; but it was
different; too, in some ways. Jim was as good and as bright a boy as
need be, and we had a happy winter together.
"Well, in the spring the squire and his wife came home, and she seemed
better. They hadn't been home long when a letter came from Ezra, saying
he wanted the boys to be sent out to him. He couldn't, without
considerable loss of time, go for them, but there were chances every day
of people coming West, who would look after them all they needed. A
chance of any one willing to trouble himself with the care of four boys,
one of them little more than a baby, wasn't likely to come very soon,
and the summer was over before we heard again; and all that time Jim and
Davie had stayed on with me. Then there came another letter, saying
that the boys were to be sent on alone. Nothing would be likely to
happen to them, as they needn't change cars more than once before they
reached Chicago, and he would meet them there.
"Then I wrote, saying the rest of them might go so, and I would keep
Davie for some better chance; or, if his father said so, I would keep
him altogether, and do for him till he was old enough to do for himself.
Well, quicker than ever an answer came before, a letter came, saying
`No!'--Davie must come with the rest. He saw his way clear to do well
by all his boys. Farming was a better thing out West than in New
England. He wanted all his boys.
"Afterwards I thought of two or three ways I might have taken to keep
the child with me, but nobody encouraged me much to undertake it; and I
saw no better way at the time than just to go with them myself a part of
the way, especially as a gentleman, who had to do with western
railroads, offered me a free ticket to Chicago and back. The squire and
Mrs Peabody said all they could to put me off the notion.
"`Ruby,' said she, `if you go, you'll marry Ezra Stone.'
"`That's his idea, anyway,' said the squire; `and Ruby, don't you do
it.'
"`I know Ezra Stone,' said I, thinking all the time that what they said
might be true. And so it was.
"Ezra met us at Chicago; and as soon as I saw his face I felt sick at
the thought of letting Myra's children go off with him alone. `What
kind of a woman will he put over them?' said I to myself.
"Well, you know all about it. I did marry him, right there in Chicago.
He didn't say much. Nothing he could have said would have had much
influence with me one way or another. But I saw Myra's eyes looking at
me every time that Jim or the baby smiled at me, and I couldn't let them
all go away alone to I didn't know who or what. No, he didn't say much;
and afterwards he rather twitted me with being ready the minute I was
asked. I don't suppose I should have done any different if I had known
just all that was before me. I wasn't a free agent in the matter.
"Yes--oh, yes!--I laid the matter before the Lord, or I thought I did.
I knew that I wasn't going to have any easy time, and that it wasn't my
own pleasure I was seeking; and that made me feel as though I was just
trying to do my duty, and that the Lord would see me through. Yes, I
was self-willed about it. I was faithless, I suppose, and afraid just
to leave the boys in God's hands. Oh, yes, He did see me through; and
more than made up for the trouble I had to endure, and I wouldn't have
anything different from all that He sent me! But I am making a long
story, and there isn't really much to tell.
"The next three years was just a dead level. Nothing happened but just
summer and winter, and seed-time and harvest. But such harvests! Full
and rich beyond any experience we had ever had of harvests. High prices
were given too, and much money must have come in. But with that part of
it the boys and I had nothing to do. There was nothing but hard work,
early and late, to show as far as we were concerned.
"I did my best for them. I kept them at their books, Sundays and rainy
days, and winter evenings; and they were smart boys and learnt well.
They were good boys and pleasant-natured, taking after their mother, and
I took comfort with them in many ways. They were good boys to work too.
There wasn't a lazy bone in one of them; and, while they did the work
that was expected of them, everything went well between them and their
father. He let them pretty much alone at other times. His heart was
set on just one thing, and that was making money, and the more he got
the more he wanted. He didn't spare himself, and he didn't spare any
one else, if the chance to make a dollar came along.
"Jim was doing the work of a man before he was fifteen; and every year
brought more to be done, for more land was taken up as fast as it could
be paid for. Ezra did have wonderful success. After the narrow stony
fields of the old place, it was a sight to see the scores of acres of
wheat growing so full and strong. It was threshed right there on the
ground, and sometimes it was sold there; and if he had only been content
with moderate success, he might have been living now, and well-to-do.
"I blame myself when I think of those times--the times that came after
the first three years. I think maybe, if I had done differently, things
might have turned out differently for us all. In this third spring my
Eunice was born--my only baby, and while she stayed with us she made the
world a better place for us all. The boys did think everything of her,
and her father too. But she died of croup. If we had had a doctor near
us, or if I had known better how to deal with it, she might have lived,
I thought, and that made it very hard to bear. Ezra felt so about it
too, and we had a dark winter.
"But spring came, and the work had to be done. We couldn't get all the
help we wanted; and from daylight till dark Jim and his brothers had to
be in the fields. Even little Davie had his share to do; and, though
they were not inclined to shirk their work, it was hard for them, and
they did sometimes complain. I complained for them, but I might just as
well have held my tongue, and I did after awhile. They grew fast. Jim
was as tall as his father when he was sixteen, and if he had had any
chance he would have been a strong man in a few years. But he was slim
and stooping, and had little flesh on his bones, and I worried about him
a good deal; and one day I asked his father how many acres of wheat he
supposed it would take to pay for the life and health of a boy like Jim.
"`He's _my_ boy,' said he, `and not yours, and it ain't worth while for
you to make the calculation. I know all about it.'
"`He is my boy more than yours,' said I, `if love means anything. I
can't make you answer me, but some time pretty soon you'll have to
answer his Maker and yours, and you'd best reckon up in time, for as
sure as you go on as you are going now, you'll have to bury him; and
that's my last word.'
"He gave an angry laugh at that, and said my last words came pretty
often; but I saw him looking curiously at Jim that night, and I guess
he'd have let him take it easier for a spell if Jim had known how to
take it easy. But there was just so much to do, and he kept on along
with the rest. It was Asher, the second one, who gave out first.
"Once or twice he had complained to me that he had dizzy turns, when he
kind of lost himself, and I had doctored him a little, not thinking him
very sick, till one day they brought him home from the field insensible;
and, if he ever knew any of us again, he could never tell us so, and he
died in just a week after he was brought home. Yes, we had a doctor.
Jim went twenty miles for one without asking any one's leave. He came
twice, but he couldn't help him. All the time he was sick I never spoke
a word to his father about him unless he first spoke to me, till one
day, when he came in from his work, he found his boy lying still and
white, with his hands clasped on his breast, dressed ready for the
grave.
"`He'll never be tired any more,' I said.
"He turned and went out without a word; and Asher's name was never
spoken between us for years after that.
"It was different with Jim. He kept on till the winter he was eighteen;
and I shall always be glad to remember how easy and pleasant his last
days were made to him. It was a mild winter, and he kept about doing
something or other most of the time. His father, let him do pretty much
as he liked, and went on hoping that the spring would make him all right
again. He even talked of sending him back to the old place for a change
when the summer came; and Jim used to listen, and sometimes said what he
would do when he got there. But he knew better. He knew he was dying,
and he was not afraid. But he had something he wanted to do before he
could be quite willing to go.
"One day, after he had been sitting beside me quietly thinking for
awhile, he said--`It's hard on father.'
"`Has anything happened to the fall wheat, or to any of the horses?
What is it that is hard on him?' said I.
"He shook his head, turning to me with a strange grieved look in his
eyes.
"`It is hard that he should have to lose another of his boys,' said he.
"`He should have taken better care of them, and he might have kept
them,' said I.
"`Mother,' said Jim, `I think _you_ are hard on father sometimes.'
"`Am I? Oh, well, I guess nothing that I'm likely to say or do will
ever hurt him much!' But I knew he was right in a way.
"`Mother, come in here. I want you to lie down on the bed, and I will
sit beside you. You are all tired out. And I have got something that I
want to tell you.'
"What came into my mind when I turned and looked at him was a kind of
wonder what the world would be like to me when he had gone out of it;
but what I said was--`I don't feel more tired than common. You lie down
on the bed, and I'll get Davie's jacket and mend it while we have a
little talk.' So I got the jacket and held it, though I couldn't put a
stitch in. My hands shook so that I couldn't thread my needle. Jim
took and threaded it for me. And then he lay still, with a look of
trouble on his face that made me say at last,--
"`I think I know what you are going to say, Jim. It will be a dreadful
trouble to me and your father; but you oughtn't to be troubled about it,
Jim. You are going to a better place: you are not afraid, Jim?'
"`No, dear mother, not for myself--nor for you. You'll get over it
after awhile, and you'll come too--you and the boys. But, mother, I
want father to come too.'
"I hadn't a word to say. I must have been a wicked woman. For half a
minute it seemed to me that heaven itself would be spoiled if Ezra Stone
were there.
"`And you must help him, mother,' said Jim.
"`I haven't helped him much lately about anything,' I said.
"`No; I think you're a little hard on father, mother;' and then he
turned on his pillow and put his two arms round my neck, and drew my
face down to his. His words hurt me dreadfully.
"`The Lord Himself will have to take hold to change him,' I said.
"`Yes, of course, mother; and you'll help him.'
"He didn't say any more; and in awhile he fell asleep, and neither of us
stirred till I heard his father's step on the floor. I did not stir
then, though it had been our way all those years to keep out of his
sight any special sign of affection between us.
"He came in and stood a spell looking at us, I suppose; and then he went
out, knowing for certain the thing which in his heart he had been
dreading all along, for he must have seen the signs of death on his
boy's face that day.
"Jim lived full three weeks after that, and he was a very happy boy.
His fear of his father had all gone. Jim showed how glad he was every
time he came into the room; and he would smile, and hold his hand, and
speak softly to him, words which the rest of us could not hear, till he
could stand it no longer. Then Ezra would rise and go out alone. He
never came to me for comfort, and, if he had, I had none to give.
"Just once I heard Jim say, `You will, won't you, father? God will help
you, and--mother.'
"His father groaned, and with good reason, for God seemed far away from
him, and he could not count much on help from me.
"Well, Jim died in his sleep, and we buried him near the other two; and
it was very quiet in the house for a spell, and then everything fell
into place again, and all went on as before, as far as those looking on
could see."
CHAPTER NINE.
MRS STONE.
"That was the poorest summer I ever had as to health. Jim's sickness
had run me down, and then I missed him dreadfully, but what really ailed
me was a heavy heart. I had lost my hope. I had been a Christian for a
good many years, or thought I had. I had joined the Church when I was
young, and had tried to live up to my profession, as far as I knew how.
I had enjoyed religion in a way, and got real help in trouble from my
Saviour. But that seemed all gone. I didn't enjoy it that summer, and
hadn't for a great while.
"I had thought all along that I was doing the best I could, and that I
did well to be angry with my husband's ways and to hate them. But Jim
had left it to me to help his father; and how was I to help him, when I
hated not only his ways but himself, as I began to fear? I hated his
greed, and his love of money, and his hardness, which had killed his
boys; and I couldn't separate the man from his sins, and yet I knew I
ought. I was all wrong for awhile, and I knew it, but I didn't know how
to put myself right.
"Time went on, and a little help came to me after awhile in a way I
never would have thought of. It was one Sunday. They had all gone to
meeting, and I was alone in the house; and I got my courage up to look
over Jim's box and the few things that were his very own. Among them I
found a little book, such as you've seen, that has a Bible verse for
every day of the year, and after each verse a few words to explain it,
or to send it home to the heart, and maybe a verse of a hymn after that.
I knew it the minute I saw it. It was one Myra had had when she was a
girl. It lay on her bureau always, and she read in it every night.
"She had given it to Jim. Their two names stood together on the first
page, and Jim had kept it safe all this time, as I believe, for my help.
For when I turned over the leaves, after awhile I found the text for
that day, and it was this: `Fear not, daughter of Zion. Behold, thy
King cometh unto thee! He is just, and having salvation.' And then,
among the words that came after to enforce the Scripture were these:
`However strong thine inward enemies, thy corruptions, fear not and be
not discouraged. Thy King is bound by His office, by His love, and by
His promises, to help thee with strength to overcome.'
"They do not sound much as I say them to you, do they?--but to me they
seemed to come like a voice from heaven. I had nothing to say for
myself. I had been all wrong for a great while. And I knew I could do
nothing now to put myself right. But, according to this, the King
Himself was `bound to help me with strength to overcome.' So I
said--`I'll just let go, and see what He'll do about it. He may guide
me where He will.' For I had lost my way; and if ever a poor soul knew
herself to be `helpless, and blind, and naked,' I did that day.
"I had a long spell of sickness after that I was run down, and needed
rest rather than medicine, the doctor said, and I was left pretty much
to myself; and, as we had good help at that time, my sickness didn't
make much difference in the house. Mind and body were better for the
rest, and I rose in a month or two a happier, and, I hope, a better
woman than I was when I lay down. I could not speak about myself or my
feelings easily to anybody, and I couldn't say a word to Ezra. But I
think he saw the difference. There never was a day after that, that I
did not try to say something pleasant to him; and he got none of the
sharp answers of which he used to be afraid.
"Things went on pretty much in the old way for a year or two, but better
in some respects. We had a new house built, and everything more
comfortable about us. A good many people had come to the
neighbourhood--well-to-do people; and Ezra had pride enough to wish to
`keep up with the times,' as he said. We had a school too within a
reasonable distance, and meetings almost every Sunday; and there was
some talk of having a meeting-house built: and, to my surprise, Ezra was
the one to offer a lot of land to build it on.
"There was talk of a railroad coming our way, which would bring markets
nearer, and increase the value of property; and all this did not make
him less eager about making money, but more so. I _did_ try to get on
better terms with him these days, and I could see that anything I said
had more influence with him, though he would not own it in words. My
pride was broken as far as he was concerned; the hard feeling against
him had gone out of my heart. I could pray for him, and hope for him,
and I had peace in my own soul, which made all the difference. The boys
were good boys too, and had an easier time than their brothers had had,
and were growing up like other folks' children--manly little fellows,
afraid of nothing--and I did not fret about them as I had done about the
others. We might have gone on like this for years if something had not
happened."
Mrs Stone paused, and leaned back against the rock with her face turned
away for a little while. Then she said--
"It did seem even to me, for a while, that the Lord was dealing hardly
by Ezra, and that his heart was hardening rather than softening under
the hand that was laid upon him. The harvest time had come again, and
there had been more than the usual trouble about getting men to help
with it. The boys had been kept steadily at work, but made no
complaint; and their father, as the hired men declared, had done the
work of two. He was the first up in the morning and the last to go to
rest at night, and sometimes even had his food carried to the field to
him, rather than lose the time coming to the house. So one morning it
gave me quite a start to see him coming toward the house about ten
o'clock, and I laid down my work and waited till he came in; and,
whatever I forget before I die, I shall never forget the look on his
face as he came near. I saw that he staggered as he walked, and that
his right arm hung helpless by his side.
"`What is it?' I cried out, running toward him, He put out his left
hand as if to keep me off, and I saw that he moved his lips as though he
were speaking, but he uttered no sound.
"`You are hurt!' I said; and I took his arm, and he stumbled into the
house, and fell across the bed in a dead faint. We did what we could
for him--Prissy and I--and in the midst of our trouble I heard steps and
voices coming towards the house; and, for the first time, the thought
that something worse might have happened came to me. I turned round and
saw the two hired men bringing something in on a board. My Davie! I
had no power to cry out when I saw him--bruised, broken, and bleeding to
death! I had just sense enough left to make them carry him into another
room, so that the eyes of his father might not fall on him when they
opened; and so they laid him down.
"`It'll only hurt him to try to do anything for him, Mrs Stone,' said
one of the men, with a break in his voice. `Speak to him. He has got
something he wants to tell you. All he has said since it happened
is--"I must tell mother."'
"So I knelt down beside him, and put a little water on his face, and
rubbed his hands, and whispered--`Davie dear, tell mother.'
"And then he opened his eyes and said faintly,--`It doesn't hurt much;
and, mother dear, father wasn't to blame.'
"`And you're not afraid, my Davie?' I asked; and he said--
"`No, I needn't be, need I, mother? Jim's gone there, and baby--and
Jesus died. Pray, mother!'
"And so I did, a few broken words; and then he died with a smile on his
face, which hadn't left it when we covered it for the last time."
The pause was longer this time. Fidelia rose and moved away, and stood
looking over to the hills on the other side of the valley for a little
while, and when she came back Mrs Stone's face was quite calm, though
there were traces of tears upon it.
"It wasn't till after some time that I heard just how it happened. The
boy whose business it was to drive the team of the reaping machine
hadn't come, and Davie was only too proud and happy to be just in his
place. His father had been loth to let him try at first, but he
consented, and all went well for a while. But the horses were young,
and took fright--at what no one knew--and they ran away, with my Davie
sitting where he never ought to have been. His father met them at a
corner of the fence which they had tried to get over, and by sheer
strength held them there till the man came to take the child from the
wreck. Ezra never knew that he was hurt till he tried to lift his boy.
He knew Davie was in a bad case, even before the men got him out from
the ruins of the machine. But he did not think he was going to die till
they laid him down on an armful of the fallen wheat; and then he came
home, and the men followed with the poor little boy.
"Well, we had a sad time after that. The harvest was long over before
my husband was able to go to the fields again. Besides his broken arm
he was hurt inwardly, and his nerves gave way. It was weeks before he
could look out on the sunshiny fields without a shudder. But he
gradually got better after awhile. The harvest didn't suffer. The men
worked well, and the neighbours helped, and it was all saved and well
sold, and a great deal of money--or what seemed a great deal to me--came
in for it, and passed through my hands. It was the first time I had
ever had a chance to know anything about Ezra's money matters; but he
was glad of my help now, and didn't resent my having to do with it, as I
was afraid he might. But he saw that the money didn't mean all to me
that it meant to him: it wasn't much to me just then, for my boy's death
had been a hard blow to me. I was worn out with Ezra too. A man just
well enough to be able to be about, and too sick to do as he has been
used to, is a dead weight on a woman's hands, I can tell you.
"I did the best I could for him, and was not so impatient with his
fancies, or with the fretfulness and fault-finding that filled the days
for a while; for by this time I had come to see some things differently.
I had come over some rough places, but the Lord had been leading me,
and I didn't rebel under Davie's loss as I had when we lost the others.
I didn't make much headway with my husband. It was only once in a great
while that I could say or do anything to please him, but I laid it to
his state of mind and body; and I took some comfort, in knowing that he
was a little less miserable when I was by than when I was away.
"Dan wasn't just like the other boys. He wasn't so bright, for one
thing. He was the least like his mother of any of them. He was shy,
and hadn't as much to say for himself as Jim had had; but he helped his
father a good deal at this time. He took notice of all that was done or
that needed to be done on the place, and coaxed his father out to see to
things which he couldn't do himself. And this took the poor man's
thoughts off from himself, and did him good in other ways.
"He had been much hurt, and he knew that he would never be the same man
again; and for a while--and that was the worst time of all--he couldn't
but feel that he might be going to die, and he knew he wasn't ready. I
knew what his thoughts were, only by words muttered when he thought I
was asleep, or out of the way. I read to him, and I prayed for him
every hour of the day; but I hadn't the faculty of speech on the subject
nearest my heart. When I did say a word he never answered me, and there
was no one else to say much to him.
"Early in the fall he had a letter from John Martin, who had been a
neighbour when he lived at the old place. He wanted Ezra to come home
and visit him. He had heard of his troubles and his poor health, and he
said how good it would be for him to come home, and see his old friends
and relations again. Of course I was included in the invitation, and
Dan; and, after a little, Ezra said, if I wanted to go he would go too.
But I did not think that would be the best thing to do. We had pretty
good help as long as there was any one to do the planning; and I made
Ezra see that, though he might be spared for a while, it would be better
for me to stay at home while he was away; and he made up his mind to
take Dan and go, for a month or two at least.
"As for me, I felt as if the rest and quiet I should have at home all
alone would do me more good than anything else. But afterwards I was
sorry enough that I had not gone with them, though it might not have
made any difference in the end.
"Well, they went, and had a good time, and started for home--and you
know the rest. They got safely enough to within fifty miles of home,
and then an accident happened to the cars. Many were hurt, and among
them was Dan; and I only just got where he was in time to see him alive;
and we brought him home in his coffin, and laid him down with the rest.
And again did it seem even to me as if the Lord was hard on Ezra, taking
his last child in that terrible way.
"Well, I never could tell you just how we got through the next year.
Angry and rebellious! That tells all that could be told of Ezra Stone
for that year. He stuck closer than ever, if that could be, to his farm
work; and, though he could not do so much with his own hands, his eye
was never off the work that was going on, and the crops were as good as
ever. He boasted a little about his crops, and the prices he got; but
he did not take the comfort of his success as he had done in former
years. He did not say it to me, but I am sure he said to himself many a
time--`What does it all amount to?' It did not seem to make much
difference--the adding of a thousand, or maybe two, to the dollars he
had already, since there were none to come after him.
"Well, his health failed again that winter, and he was in the house a
good deal of his time. I made it my whole business to see to him, and
to make the time pass as easily as might be. I read the papers to him--
he had always liked that--and after a while I read other things; and
once a day, and sometimes twice, I read the Bible to him. I had
promised Jim I would do that whenever I could, and I guess he had
promised Jim to let me; and sometimes he took pleasure in it; and I have
thought since, if I had been different--if I could have showed him the
longing I had to do him good, if I could have spoken to him oftener of
the Saviour and His love, that which I had longed for and prayed for all
these years since Jim died might have come sooner. It came at last.
"`Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not
enter into the kingdom of heaven!' The Lord Himself said that. And it
was just that which happened to my husband. The man who for so many
years had seemed to me to have the hardest heart and the narrowest mind
that mortal could have, was just made over anew. He became a little
child. There is no other way of putting it. He was gentle and
teachable--yes, and lovable; and that last year with him seemed to more
than make up to us both for all the suffering of our married life. Yes,
I did come to love my husband; and, what seemed stranger to me, he came
to love me those last years, and if I had been different he might have
loved me from the first. My mistake was--but there, I do not need to
tell you that, seeing I have told you so much--more than I have ever
told even Eunice, I declare. And you needn't be too sorry for me."
There had been tears in Fidelia's eyes many times while the story went
on, and there were tears still as she stooped to kiss her.
"I am more glad for you than sorry. It all ended well, Aunt Ruby."
"Yes; as well as well could be for them, and well for me too. I don't
feel as if I ever could be faithless or afraid again--but there's no
telling. And now, dear, had you not better sing something again? It
seems as though they must have missed us before now; and some of them
will likely be looking for us."
So Fidelia kissed her old friend again; and, going a short distance up
the steep side of the mountain, she placed herself on a high rock near
the ascending path, and sung with a voice both strong and clear:--
"How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!"
till she came to the last line, which she repeated over and over:--
"I'll never--no, never--no, never forsake!" Before she had ended a hand
was laid on hers, and she turned to see the moved face of Dr Justin.
"Faithful," he said--"Faithful!" He was pale, and his lips trembled,
and so did the hand that touched hers.
"Oh, I'm so glad!" said Fidelia; and then she drew back a little,
startled by his pale face, and added--"Were you afraid about us? Did
you think we might be lost?"
"Not afraid--there was no danger of your being lost very long," said Dr
Justin, pulling himself together and trying to speak quietly. "You have
not been afraid?"
"No; and I think I could have found my way to the Peak; but Mrs Stone
would not let us separate, and she grew very tired. So we sat down and
waited, and I have been singing every now and then, hoping that some one
might hear. Mrs Stone is a few steps below us."
He took her hand to help her down from the rock, and held it firmly till
they came to the place where Mrs Stone was waiting. She greeted him
joyfully.
"Well, there! I _am_ glad to see you, Dr Justin. Who would have
thought that we two were not able to take care of ourselves?"
"And I am afraid we have spoiled the pleasure of all the rest," said
Fidelia. "Are they all scattered over the mountain looking for us? I
am ashamed of myself."
"No; only Jabez and I were despatched in search of you. And you have
not been missed long. In going up the mountain the company got
separated into different parties, and you were not missed till all came
together at the top. Then Jabez and I undertook to find you."
"And have you been searching long?"
"No, not long--though it seemed long. Are you too tired to go up the
Peak? Because if you are we can send Jabez up to say so."
"Tired? No. But is there time? I should hate to have to go home and
own that I had not been up the mountain after all," said Mrs Stone. "I
do hate to be beat when I set out for anything."
"There is plenty of time, and they will all be disappointed if you do
not go. I must signal to Jabez first, however. He must be somewhere
within sight or hearing, I should think."
So he was, and came rushing down through bushes and over rocks and
stones, at a headlong pace.
"Well, I declare! I knew pretty likely somebody would get into a scrape
in the course of the day. But I didn't think of its being either of
you."
"You were to make us your special care, you remember, Jabez," said Mrs
Stone.
"Yes, you promised Eunice," said Fidelia, laughing. "What became of
you? Did you think about us at all?"
"Why, yes! I thought about you more than once. But there were other
folks missing too, and I expected you'd all turn up together," said
Jabez, giving a glance toward Dr Justin.
"If we are going up the Peak, the sooner we start the better," said Dr
Justin.
"Well, yes; but Dr Everett told me that if I came across the strayed
ones, I must give them this the first thing," said Jabez, presenting a
little basket to Mrs Stone. "He said you'd got to eat something before
you start, and take plenty of time. It takes Dr Everett himself to
think of everything."
"Which cannot be said of all the doctors," said Dr Justin, laughing.
"So you must sit down and enjoy your lunch before you go farther;" and
he unfolded a snowy napkin and presented a sandwich to each.
They were soon on their way, however. Jabez privately promised Fidelia
that he would take her to the Peak by a short cut, which was also a
little the steepest, he acknowledged. So they set off together, and Dr
Justin, with Mrs Stone, followed a more circuitous path.
But the shortest way proved the longest this time also, for Mrs Stone
had time to tell Dr Everett and the girls the history of the morning,
and their wanderings here and there in search of the path, before
Fidelia, panting and breathless after her scramble over rocks and
through thickets of bramble and berry bushes of various sorts, made her
appearance.
It was not so late as they supposed. The lunch was the first thing to
be considered, and this was done thoroughly by all.
Then, when that was over, they had the measure of enjoyment which is
usually to be had on such occasions. They went here and there
separately or in groups, and examined, and wondered, and wished, and,
above all, determined and declared that it would not be long before they
came up there again. They stayed a little longer than was quite wise,
perhaps, to watch the lengthening of the western shadows, and the bright
reflections which a wonderful sunset sent over to the eastern hills.
And then it was full time to go home.
Dr Everett undertook the marshalling of the company, and this time he
arranged that they should divide into parties of three or four, each
member of a party being responsible for the safe home-getting and
general well-being of each in that party, and of no one else.
"And as Mrs Stone and Fidelia seem to be the difficult case this time,
we must see to them especially. So, Dr Justin, you take charge of Mrs
Stone and one of the little girls, with Susie to help you, and I will
take the other little girl with Fidelia, Nellie Austin being my helper.
Yes, that is quite the best way to arrange," said he, nodding to his
brother, who did not seem so sure of it.
They got safely to the foot of the mountain, and safely home--tired
enough, but cheerful, already eagerly discussing what was to be done on
the doctor's next day of leisure, which, however, was not likely to come
very soon.
CHAPTER TEN.
A BAD DREAM.
"Eunice," said Mrs Stone, "there is something I want to say to you,
only I am afraid you won't like it."
"Even if I shouldn't like it, I don't know that that would be a good
reason why you shouldn't say it," responded Eunice, with a smile.
They were sitting together in the front porch, into which the sun was
shining brightly; and in September days, when the afternoons are
shortening, the sunshine is welcome among these hills, for warmth as
well as brightness. They had been sitting there for an hour or two,
sometimes exchanging a word about their work, or their neighbours, or
the passers-by, but on the whole inclined to silence. Eunice had a book
on her lap, and her sewing also, but they had both been neglected for a
while. Mrs Stone was knitting steadily on, as if there were nothing
more interesting to her at the moment than her monotonous work.
Fidelia had gone with the Everett children and their mother, and several
other young people, on the long-talked-of blackberrying expedition,
which had been delayed so often for one reason and another that the
chances were against success, as far as the fruit was concerned. There
had been some discussion as to the wisdom of calling it a nutting
expedition instead, though it was early yet to think of getting nuts.
But it did not really matter about either the one or the other. The
chances were they would find that which they were seeking, though they
should get neither nuts nor berries.
The young people had gone in Deacon Ainsworth's hay-cart, seated on a
pile of fragrant hay, and with Jabez in charge of the oxen. Mrs Stone
had been invited to go with them, but she had declined.
"Mother is coming in the chaise, and Uncle Justin," said Susie Everett.
"Mother was afraid of the hay-cart. If you can drive, you might go with
mother, Mrs Stone. Uncle Justin wouldn't mind going in the cart, I am
sure."
"No, I don't much believe he would, under the circumstances," Mrs Stone
had answered; but she still declined. The invitation had been renewed
when the chaise passed half-an-hour afterwards, but had been again
declined.
"I should have liked to go, just to know how it would seem to be there
again," said she. But she had a stronger reason for staying than for
going. She had something to say to Eunice which it would be as well to
say when Fidelia was not within call.
"Well?" said Eunice, after a pause.
"Well; it isn't so much that I am afraid you won't like it, as that I
shall hurt you."
"But if it is to do me good, I shall not mind the hurt after a little."
"But then I should feel dreadfully if you were to turn round and tell me
I'd better mind my own business."
"A good deal of my business is yours now, Ruby," said Eunice, smiling
still, but with a slow rising of colour to her cheeks.
"Well, I don't know, certainly, that you will think this is; but I know
that I mean you nothing but good, and her too."
"Fidelia! Say what you have to say, Ruby."
"Well, I will. Hasn't it ever come into your mind that Justin Everett
was letting his thoughts turn towards Fidelia?"
"Justin Everett!--Fidelia!"
There was not another word spoken for a good many minutes. Eunice sat
with her eyes cast down and with her colour coming and going; and Mrs
Stone, seemingly intent on her knitting, noted every change on the
beautiful face. But she waited for Eunice to speak first, and in a
little she did so quietly enough.
"I cannot say that I have never thought such a thing possible; but I
have never seen any reason to make me think that it had happened. Have
you, Ruby?"
"Well, if anybody--say Mrs Holt or Mrs Ainsworth--were to come and
tell me all that I could tell you, I expect as likely as not I should
tell _them_ that all that amounted to nothing. It does not seem
anything to tell. Well, a glance maybe, or a long look at her when he
never supposed there was any one to take notice! It does not seem much
to tell it, but the thought has come into my mind."
"And Fidelia?"
"Oh, as to Fidelia--I guess she's all right! I can't tell you anything
about Fidelia. She didn't like him at first--anybody could see that.
They are friendly now. Oh, yes, quite friendly! but I guess, Eunice, it
is as your friend that Fidelia thinks of Justin Everett."
"He _is_ my friend," said Eunice gravely. And after a little she
added--"We will not speak any more about this just now, Ruby. By-and-by
perhaps I may. No, you haven't hurt me. And I could bear to be hurt by
you, Ruby, for my good or for Fidelia's."
And not another word was spoken on the subject for a long time after
that.
The sun was set, but the moon was up before the young people came home.
The chaise came first, and was stopped a minute at the gate. Eunice
stayed in the porch, but Mrs Stone went down to speak to Mrs Everett
at the gate.
"I have got Fidelia with me," said Mrs Everett. "I wanted Justin to
stay to take care of the young people. I should have been troubled
about them; they are so full of frolic that they forget to take care of
themselves. And I knew I should feel safe with Fidelia driving."
"I am going to drive Mrs Everett all the way home, Eunice," said
Fidelia.
"There is no need. I guess I can drive myself the rest of the way."
But, knowing the lady's timidity, Eunice told Fidelia she had better go
on.
"And I will send Jotham back with her at once," said Mrs Everett.
And so she did; and the chaise had not gone again before the sound of
voices singing told that the party in the hay-cart were drawing near.
There was a general outcry when it was discovered that Fidelia had not
remained at Dr Everett's, where the young people were to have tea, and
spend the evening. She was intreated to return with them. Dr Justin
had gone to the door to speak to Eunice, and Susie followed him, begging
him to ask permission for Fidelia to go. But Eunice said, in her
gentlest voice, that she would like Fidelia to stay at home; and Dr
Justin said nothing.
"Would you like to have gone, Fidelia?" asked Eunice, as they went into
the house.
"No; I didn't care about going. I have had enough of noise and nonsense
for one day. Oh, yes, I enjoyed it! We didn't get many berries; and--
there!--they have carried mine off with them. I am hungry. I will tell
you all about it by-and-by."
But there was nothing of very much interest to tell. Dr Justin's name
came in with the rest, rather more readily than had been the case when
she first came home, and neither of her listeners lost word, or tone, or
gesture. But Fidelia had nothing of special interest to tell, and
certainly she had nothing to conceal.
"She does not care for him. She is not thinking about him," said Eunice
to herself.
"She does not care for him, or she does not know it," thought Mrs
Stone; and both women were glad in their hearts that Dr Justin's visit
was drawing to a close.
And so were others among his friends. At that moment Dr Everett and
his wife were saying a few words to one another on the same subject.
"I am afraid he is thinking about her--that he does care for her," said
the gentle little lady, who, much against her will, had been induced to
go with the young people in the afternoon, because her husband had said
it was the right thing to do. "No; I am quite sure he has not spoken,
and I don't think Fidelia has the least thought of such a thing."
"And he mustn't speak. I would not have Miss Eunice troubled now for
more than I can say. No he must not speak; and yet I don't see how I
can tell him so, unless he first speaks to me."
"But, husband, do you think it would trouble her? I think Eunice Marsh
is far beyond all such trouble now. And if--"
"We will not speak about it. Eunice is very near heaven, as I believe;
but she can never be beyond caring for what must affect her sister's
happiness. Justin must not speak. It would be the same sad story over
again. Fidelia would never leave her sister if she knew her state. And
she would have to know it. I do not think Justin will speak--now--
unless he should be betrayed into it. But one can never tell. I am
thankful he has but another day."
"But another day!" Dr Justin had said those words a good many times to
himself during the afternoon, but he had not said them, as his brother
did, with thankfulness. He did not mean to speak to Fidelia. He told
himself that he must not speak; that speaking to her now could do no
good--only evil. He wished the day well over, and for the moment he did
not care to look beyond it.
They all said--"Only another day!" But much, either for good or ill,
may happen in one day--even in one moment. And the next day it happened
to Fidelia that the knowledge came to her, not of Justin Everett's
secret, but of her own. It was nobody's fault, but it was a great
misfortune; and it happened in this way.
In the afternoon, while the sisters and Mrs Stone were sitting in the
porch in the sunshine, Jabez Ainsworth passed in the doctor's chaise,
and he stopped to tell them that he was going down to the depot to see
about Dr Justin's filly.
"Dr Justin will be along in a few minutes riding her. She must be
aboard the cars to-night, they say, and I am to stay with her to see
that she doesn't get scared or anything. Dr Justin will drive home in
the chaise." And Jabez went on.
Before a word was spoken Dr Justin came in sight.
"Eunice," said Fidelia eagerly, "come down to the gate and see Dolly.
She is the most beautiful creature, and gentle as a lamb. She minds Dr
Justin's least word."
They went down to the gate, and Mrs Stone followed, much interested for
various reasons. A beautiful brown creature was Dolly, gentle and full
of spirit, with shy, bright eyes, and a mouth which answered to the
slightest touch. She was duly praised and petted, and all expressed the
hope that she might reach her new home in safety, and be happy there.
"You are not in danger of being too late, are you?" asked Mrs Stone, in
a tone which might imply that she thought the danger certain.
"We don't go to-night--I mean Dolly does not go to-night. Miss Eunice,
you promised to give me the address of your friend," said Dr Justin,
taking his note-book and pencil from his pocket. He was riding his
beautiful mare as he used to ride the horses in the pasture when he was
a boy--with a bridle, but with no saddle, and he dropped the rein on the
creature's neck as he prepared to write.
"There come the cars!" said Mrs Stone in a whisper, and the shriek of
the engine rose and echoed and re-echoed among the hills. Neither of
the women for months heard the sound without a thrill of pain. For it
startled the pretty, gentle creature into terror which the loose rein
gave Dr Justin no power for the moment to soothe or to control, and she
sprang forward with a bound which, happily, failed to unseat her rider,
and was out of sight round the corner of the road in a moment.
"Come, Aunt Ruby! No--stay with Eunice!" cried Fidelia; and she flew
rather than ran up the hill, and out of sight. To see--what? Dr
Justin standing with his arm thrown over the neck of his favourite,
while, with hand and voice, he soothed her into quiet again.
The sudden relief moved Fidelia as the sight of no catastrophe could
have moved her. With a cry she sprang forward, clasping with both hers
the hand he held out to her; and, in the single instant of meeting, his
eyes read in hers the secret which she herself had not known.
"My Faithful!" he breathed. She cared for him. He had but to speak the
word, and she would be his for ever.
But he did not speak it. Something--was it a sense of honour, or an old
memory, or was it the sudden change in the beautiful moved face that
kept him silent?
"Eunice!--I must go and tell Eunice! We were all so frightened," she
said hurriedly.
"I was in no danger. I hope your sister has not been startled. I will
go back with you."
"No, no! There is no need;" and she waited to hear no more. She was
out of sight in a moment. She met Mrs Stone toiling slowly up the
hill.
"It is all right," said Fidelia. "He is walking and leading Dolly up
the hill. We got our fright for nothing."
"And a good thing, thank God!" said Mrs Stone. "Now, Eunice, hadn't
you better go and lie down? You have had enough excitement for one
night," she added, as they entered the gate.
Eunice was pale, but quite calm. She was thinking, not of herself, but
of her sister.
"You ran too fast, Fidelia."
"A great deal too fast. And up the hill too. And then to see him
standing there--all right--with his arm over Dolly's neck, as cool as a
cucumber! It was an anti-climax, Aunt Ruby, if you know what that is."
"Well, you didn't stay long to sympathise with him, did you?" said Mrs
Stone.
"He didn't need it; and it was Eunice I was thinking of;" and Fidelia,
who did not yet understand what had happened to her, looked at her
sister with wondering eyes. "Were you frightened, Eunice? Is your
heart beating in that uncomfortable way again? Come in and lie down, as
Aunt Ruby says."
They went in, but Eunice did not lie down. They had tea as usual, and
then Fidelia moved about, a little restless for a time; and then she sat
down quietly with her work, and a book on the table beside her. It was
Mrs Stone who went to the door when Jabez stopped to ask for Miss
Eunice, and to explain that it had been thought best to give the mare a
quiet night after her fright before beginning her journey, and that she
was to leave at four the next day, and that Dr Justin was to travel a
certain distance in the slow train with her, till he saw how it was to
be.
"To-morrow afternoon they go. Were you scared Mrs Stone? And how is
Miss Eunice?"
"Miss Eunice is all right, and so is Fidelia. Yes, I was scared a
little, but not enough to hurt me; and I hope this is the last of Dr
Justin for to-night anyway."
But it was not. Fidelia heard his voice at the door after she had gone
to her room for the night. She did not hear what he said, but she heard
Mrs Stone's answer.
"Yes, you did give us a scare. But there is no harm done. At least I
hope not. They've both gone to bed anyhow. You can't very well see
either of them to-night."
"I will call to-morrow, if possible. But if I should not see them again
to-morrow--"
That was all Fidelia heard.
"Not see him to-morrow! No, nor the next day, nor the next--nor ever
again, I hope and pray," said Fidelia, hiding her face in her hands.
For she was beginning to understand what had come upon her. And had she
been a traitor to herself as well as to Eunice? Had she read aright the
triumph in his eyes? And was he a traitor too?
"And, oh, Eunice--Eunice--Eunice!"
That was the burden of her thoughts, through many weary hours. She
slept towards morning, and woke with a burden of shame and anger, and
sorrow and dread, which made all trouble which she had passed through;
or which she dreaded, seem as nothing to her.
But one night of sleepless misery does not pale the face, or dim the
eye, or quell the courage of a healthy girl of eighteen; and she rose
early and did all that she usually did in the morning, and, for all that
Mrs Stone's watchful eyes could see, enjoyed her breakfast as usual.
The morning passed as other mornings had, except that, perhaps, the time
given upstairs to her books was a little longer than she gave on most
days. But she came down in the middle of her work to read a bit to
Eunice, as she sometimes did, either that she might claim admiration for
something which she herself admired, or to ask an explanation of
something which she did not quite understand. After dinner, she
declared herself inclined to go and see old Mrs Belknap, which, she
owned, she ought to have done long ago.
"Will you go with me, Mrs Stone?"
Mrs Stone hesitated.
"Well, no; I guess I'll stay with Eunice. Oh, yes, she's well enough!--
but I guess I'll stay. If you'll wait till to-morrow I'll try to go."
"But I am going somewhere else to-morrow. I guess I'll go."
"You'll miss seeing the last of Dr Justin if you go. He goes at five."
"Oh, I can be back long before five! I don't mean to stay to tea, even
if she should ask me, which is not likely. I wonder if there is
anything I could carry to the poor old lady."
"I thought of sending her the stockings I finished last. And you might
take her a bottle of pickles. I'll put them in the basket if you are
bound to go."
"Why, Fidelia, you'll miss saying good-bye to Dr Justin," said Eunice
also, when Fidelia went into her room before starting.
"I can be back before five. Three hours--nearly four. Oh, yes, I can
be back! If I don't go to see the old lady to-day I can't this week,
and perhaps not at all. I think I had better go, Eunice. I'll take the
near way through the woods."
She went slowly up the hill, pausing a moment before passing the big
rock, then hurried on till she came to the place where she entered the
woods. She lingered there, making believe that she was enjoying the
sunshine and the pleasant air, and singing as she crossed the level to
the grey solitary house standing where two roads met.
Her visit was as successful as visits to Mrs Belknap usually were, but
she did not linger over it. She should have taken sweetmeats instead of
pickles to the old lady, she told Mrs Stone afterwards, for she was
sharp and sour enough by nature. But she told her a good many things
about the seminary, and about her visit at Dr Austin's, and about
getting lost on the mountain with Mrs Stone. She answered many
questions also, some of which were not very easy to answer, and on the
whole mollified the old lady before she went away.
"And how is Eunice these days? Yes, I know she looks pretty well. I
worried considerable about her when I heard that Justin Everett was
coming home. But I always thought she showed her sense by letting him
go away, and staying herself. I guess she'll let him go again. What do
you think of him? Has he changed any? He hasn't as much as looked at
my place since he came."
"That is strange!" said Fidelia. "I don't remember him before he went
away. Yes, he is going away pretty soon. Mrs Belknap, when are you
coming over to see Eunice and Mrs Stone?"
"Ruby Peck that was? She was a pretty smart girl when I used to know
her, and I expect she did a pretty smart thing when she married Ezra
Stone. Folks say she's got enough to keep her all her life, which is
more than can be said of me; and Ezra Stone could not hold a candle to
the kind of man _my_ husband was!" and so on.
Fidelia heard it all, and remembered it, and made Eunice and Mrs Stone
smile by repeating some of the old lady's words, but all the time she
was saying to herself--
"Shall I hurry home--or shall I stay till it is too late? Oh, I must
go! No, I must not go."
She went at last hurrying over the meadow and through the wood, till she
came breathless to the gap in the fence by the road, and then she sat
down to rest. And then slowly up the hill came the doctor's old Grey,
as usual, choosing his own pace. She did not see him, but she knew it
was old Grey, and then she heard a voice say--"Let him breathe a
minute;" and the old horse stood still.
Fidelia held her breath lest she should be discovered, then watched them
as they went on, till the old chaise passed out of sight. Then she
turned homewards, pausing at the spot near the big rock where last night
she had seen Justin Everett soothing his frightened mare with hand and
voice.
"Only last night!" she repeated. "It was a dream--only a dream; and
everything shall be as before--yes, everything! Only I wish Eunice
would tell me--"
To outward seeming, all was as before. And, though every thought of Dr
Justin hurt her, it was chiefly because of her own treachery to Eunice,
as she angrily called it. And so a few days passed, and she grew afraid
of the dull, persistent pain at last, and said--"I will speak to
Eunice."
CHAPTER ELEVEN.
A SAD REALITY.
So one afternoon, when Eunice had gone to her room to rest, Fidelia
followed her softly. As she paused a moment at the door, wondering if
she were asleep, Eunice said--
"I see you, Fidelia; come in." So Fidelia went in, and, as she stood
over her sister, her trouble showed in her face. "What is it, dear?
Are you not well?"
"Yes, I am well. But I am naughty, Eunice, and discontented, as I used
sometimes to be when I was a little girl, and you used to send me away
for a change."
"Well, I am going to send you away again--too soon for my own pleasure;
but, since it will be for your good, my darling, I must let you go."
"I hope it may be for my good, Eunice. I am not good, but I will try to
be good."
"Fidelia, what is it? Something troubles you. Why, you are trembling!
Are you cold? Sit down here beside me, and tell me what is the matter."
"Well, we must speak softly, or we shall have Mrs Stone in upon us.
Yes, I want to speak to you, and I have been trying to `dodge' her all
day. I hardly ever get you to myself now--not at the right time, when I
have something to say."
Fidelia spoke rapidly, as though she hardly considered what she was
saying.
"Is that the trouble, dear? I am sorry," said Eunice, gravely.
"You needn't be sorry. Aunt Ruby is not the trouble. I am glad she is
here."
"Well, dear, tell me. You are making me anxious."
"Something is the matter, Eunice. I do feel troubled. I feel as if
there were something--something that I ought to be told. If you say
there is nothing, Eunice, that will be enough."
Eunice sat for a long time without a word, and Fidelia was saying to
herself--
"When she has told me, I shall be able to forget these last few
miserable days, and be as I was before. It is a bad dream, that is all,
and I must forget it."
"Yes, I will tell you. I have always wished to tell you. It is best, I
am sure; and, though I may give you pain, you will be glad afterwards."
"Yes," said Fidelia faintly--"glad afterwards."
"Fidelia, I may tell you now how unhappy I was for a time last year.
Not unhappy exactly, but anxious and afraid--"
"And you sent me away?"
"Yes, dear, as was best. And when you came home, the worst was nearly
over. Dr Everett came next day and gave me hope, and then Dr Justin
came, and I was not afraid any more. He seemed to know--to understand
better even than Dr Everett. Oh, Fidelia, I never can tell you the
thankfulness of my heart! I wonder I didn't sing it out to you a
hundred times. But they seemed to think it was best not to say anything
to you, as I had not spoken before. But I am glad to speak now, though
I am afraid you will be startled."
Fidelia rose and placed herself with her face turned from the light.
"Well?"
"Fidelia, you remember grandmother--how very patiently she suffered, and
how long? Oh, no one but Dr Everett and myself knows what she
suffered! It was a long and terrible time. Every night we used to pray
together--she and I--that she might be patient to the end, and that, if
it were God's will, the end might be hastened. And so, when I thought--
when the awful fear first came to me that I had all that to go through--
well, for a while my faith failed me. I did not tell any one, not even
Dr Everett. That was last year. Then you went away, and the winter
was long and lonesome; but I was helped, and strengthened, and
comforted, even at the worst time.
"It was not all fancy, dear. I had some cause for fear, but the danger
for me is not that. I shall have no long time of suffering, they say;
and, though I can never hope to be very strong again, I may live and
have such health as I have now for years. And, Fidelia, you must not
say that I should have told you, and that I should not have let you go
away. I could not have you suffer in seeing my suffering as long as I
could keep it from you; and you see it was better so. You must have
known after a time, if my fears had been realised, but not too soon."
Fidelia had listened like one in a dream. Her fears had touched nothing
like this. All the time she had been thinking of quite other things.
She sank down on her knees, and laid her face on her sister's lap with a
cry.
"Oh, my Eunice--my Eunice!" Eunice laid her hand on her bowed head, but
she did not speak for a while. By-and-by she said, gently--
"Fidelia, listen to me. There is nothing to grieve for. Think how
different it might have been, and what a happy summer I have had!
Neither pain, nor fear of pain--only a quiet mind, and rest, and peace.
Tell me, dear, have you not sometimes been afraid of me, that I might
have long suffering before me? And are you not glad and thankful with
me? There is nothing to grieve for--nothing. Fidelia, have you never
been afraid?" Fidelia raised her head.
"Yes, I have been afraid that perhaps, when you came to be an old woman
like grandmother, you might have to suffer; but--"
"Well, you need not be afraid any more," said Eunice, leaning back as
though there was nothing more to be said.
"And are you well, Eunice? And have you nothing else to tell me?"
"I am well--for me. You must see that yourself, dear. I don't expect
ever to be very strong. I don't think I was ever one of the strong
women; and the strain of nursing and anxiety told more on me than it
would on some women. But if I take care of myself now, I shall have
strength to do a great deal; and now that Mrs Stone is here, to take
the housekeeping when you are away, I shall have leisure for reading and
other pleasant things. And I have my Sunday-school class, and I can
visit my friends, and, though I can never do much at nursing again, I
can go to see sick and sorrowful people, and help and comfort them a
little perhaps. And I can always speak a word for my Lord and Master.
My darling, I can see such a happy, restful life before me!"
"Oh, my Eunice--my Eunice!" Fidelia's face was hidden again. "A happy
life before her!" repeated she; and the thought of her own impatience
and discontent, her envyings and her small ambitions, made her ashamed.
"Oh, I am not a good girl! I am all wrong, all wrong!"
All thoughts of her "bad dream" had passed out of her mind till Eunice
spoke again.
"Have I nothing else to tell? Nothing, I think, which you have not
guessed already. And it may not come so soon as they think. But I
think it need not trouble you. The thought of it does not trouble me
any more except for your sake. And even to you the sorrow will only be
for a little while, and the gladness will come after."
Fidelia raised her head, and looked with beseeching eyes into the face
of her sister.
"Eunice, tell me!"
Eunice stooped and kissed her with a smile on her lips, though they
trembled a little.
"Dear, do you remember our father, and how he died? Well, it may be
that the end will come to me as it came to him. That is what Dr
Everett thinks, and Dr Justin. They cannot tell me when. I may live
for years--but, there, I may not. Is it cruel to tell you? But
afterwards you would grieve not to have known. And you are a woman now,
my darling, and you know that our life is not given just to take our
pleasure in, but that the world is meant to be a place of discipline and
of work for our fellow-creatures and for the Lord."
Eunice paused a moment.
"I hoped to work too, and at first I murmured, but I am quite content
now, as you will be by-and-by. And you will never forget me, in the
happy life which I hope--which I believe lies before you."
Fidelia put up her hands with a cry. "Hush!" she cried. "I cannot bear
it; I cannot believe it. Oh, Eunice, how can you say it, smiling like
that, when you know that I have no one in the world but you?"
"Does it seem so to you, dear? You have no other sister; but so many
love you--and--you have our Lord and Saviour, whom you love, and whom
you seek to serve; and you will not forget me. I shall be something in
your life always, and to your children; and, dear, we will not speak any
more--I am very tired."
Fidelia rose without a word. She made her sister lie down, and brought
her water to drink, and bathed her face; and then Mrs Stone's step was
heard on the stairs, and Eunice said--
"Go away for a little while. Go out for a walk through the woods, and
think it all over, and ask our Father to give you a little glimpse of
all the blessing He intends to give you through your sorrow. My
darling, I have gone through the suffering. Yes, I know that parting is
not so hard for the one who goes. But it is all as good and right as
God can make it for His children, and you will see it so in a little
while."
"Oh, Eunice, I am not good! You do not know--"
"But He knows, dear. Tell it all to Him, who loves you even better than
I love you."
There was no time for more, and Fidelia went out at one door as Mrs
Stone came in at the other. She was bewildered and helpless for the
moment. Her first impulse was to throw herself on the bed in an utter
abandonment of sorrow, and, alas! of rebellion, under the hand that
touched her. But Eunice had said--"Go out into the woods," and she must
go. So she rose and bathed her face, and, wrapping herself in her
shawl, went out through the garden to the fields, and then to the woods,
walking rapidly.
It was not grief alone which worried her. She was amazed and
rebellious, and sought to see nothing beyond the desolation of being
left without her sister. She was very selfish in the first shock of
surprise and pain, and it was an hour of bitterness that she passed
beneath the cedars by the brook; and, alas for her! she took both pain
and bitterness home with her again.
Remembering her own time of trouble, Eunice had patience with her,
knowing that light and help would come. She waited long, but she waited
patiently, and help came at last.
"Fidelia," said Mrs Stone, one night soon after this, "are you thinking
of going to conference meeting to-night?"
"No; I can't say I am. Mr Runkin is not at home."
"Unless he came this morning, which is not likely. But there'll be
somebody there to lead the meeting, I expect."
"Deacon Ainsworth, I guess," said Fidelia, with a shrug. "I don't feel
as if it would pay to go to hear him."
"No, I don't suppose it would pay to go to hear him, if that were all
you went for, or to hear anybody else. But don't you know that to `two
or three gathered together' in His name the promise is given?"
"There will be two or three and more there, without me; and I shouldn't
help much, Aunt Ruby."
"But you might be helped if the Lord Himself were there. I'd guess
you'd better go. If you go, you'd better take down this book to the
doctor. He left it here by mistake, I expect, since it is in a strange
tongue. I presume he thinks he lost it out of his chaise, and he'll be
glad to get it again. If you do go, Jabez'll be along at the right time
to come home with you." All this Mrs Stone said, seeing, but not
seeming to sea, the cloud that lay darkly on Fidelia's face.
One thought which had a little hope in it had come to Fidelia that day
under the cedars--"Dr Everett will know. I will ask Dr Everett." But
she had never done so; and Mrs Stone's insistence about the meeting and
the doctor's book gave the needed impulse; and she said she would go.
She was a little late; but so were Dr Everett and his daughters, who
were just coming out of their own gate when she came in sight.
"It won't be the deacon, at any rate," thought Fidelia.
They waited for her, and she gave the book. It was as Mrs Stone had
said--the doctor had thought the book lost, and was glad to see it
again.
"Thank you, Miss Faithful. You generally do bring pleasant things and
thoughts when you come. And how is Miss Eunice?" But, seeing her face,
he did not wait for the answer. "Of course she is well, or you would
not be here;" and they moved down the street together.
Afterwards, when Mrs Stone asked Fidelia if they had a good meeting,
she said--"Oh, yes, I guess so! Dr Everett took the lead." But that
was all she could tell. She did not even remember the hymns that were
sung, because she did not sing them. When she left the schoolroom her
heart was beating so heavily, that she had to wait till they reached the
house before she found voice to say--
"Are you busy, Dr Everett? I should like to speak to you before I go
home."
Dr Everett opened the door of his office, and she went in there. He
lighted a lamp, and sat down opposite to her.
"Well, dear, what have you to say to me?"
"You know--Eunice--"
There is no need to go over it all again. What could the doctor say
that Eunice had not said before? That they should be glad and thankful
that no time of terrible suffering lay before her--that years of happy
life might remain to her, though she could never be strong. That was
his brother's opinion, decidedly. And then he added a few words of
sympathy and encouragement.
"Eunice was right to tell you. You are no longer a child, Fidelia; and
doing God's will is best, whether we see it now or not;" and much more
he said.
Fidelia sat silent and tearless through all, and when he ceased she
said--
"You have told me your brother's opinion, now tell me yours."
"It is the same as his, only I know better than he could know how great
was the strain of the watching, and the anxiety, and the sight of
terrible suffering which she bore for years; and I believe that the end
may be nearer than he thinks."
"Yes, Eunice says so. That is what I wished to know," said Fidelia,
rising. "Now I must go."
"You need not hurry; Jabez has not come."
Fidelia sat down without a word. All this was not like her. The doctor
would have liked to see her tears; but perhaps they might as well wait
till she was at home. He had a word to say as to what was best for
Eunice.
"Mrs Stone is a good nurse, and she loves your sister, and when you are
away--"
"I am not going away," said she.
"To the seminary? Does Eunice know?"
"I have not told her, but I think she must know that it is impossible."
"She has greatly desired for you the privileges of the place. She will
be disappointed."
"I cannot go."
"I think, if I were you, I would leave it to your sister to say. And,
remember, she must not be excited or troubled."
"I know."
"And you must know that Mrs Stone is not just a nurse, but a friend
whom your sister loves and trusts, and you must trust her too."
"I know," repeated Fidelia.
"If you were to ask my advice, I should say--Let there be no change in
your plans; go as you intended to go, and--"
"But I am not going to ask your advice, nor the advice of any one. You
must think me a poor creature, Dr Everett, if you can believe that I
could leave my sister, now that I know!"
"My dear, you know better than that."
"Eunice did not go away when--Oh, Dr Everett, I am so miserable! She
is all I have--all I have!"
The tears came now in a flood.
"That is better," said the doctor to himself. To Fidelia he said
nothing for awhile, but let her tears have way. There was no time for
more words, for Jabez had come.
Strange to say, there was not a word spoken between Fidelia and the lad
till they reached home. Jabez had "thought over" a good many things he
meant to ask about, as to his recent reading, but he had caught a
glimpse of her face by the light of the doctor's lamp, and the questions
were kept for another time.
"Miss Eunice is not worse, is she, Fidelia?" said he as they entered the
gate.
"No, Jabez; but--good-night."
One word of Dr Everett's stayed with Fidelia. Eunice must not be
excited or troubled. Still many days must not pass before her decision
to stay at home was made known to her. Would it grieve and trouble her
very much?
In her perplexity Fidelia spoke first to Mrs Stone, who listened in
silence to all she had to say.
"Is it that which has been troubling you all these days?" said she, with
the air of one relieved. "Let's talk it over and find out what is best,
before we say a word to Eunice about it. Is it of her you are thinking,
or yourself? Before we go further you must settle that."
"It isn't that I think Eunice needs me at home, if that is what you
mean."
"Yes; you know I will take good care of her. I love her, and I have
nursed sick folks before. She'll miss you? Yes; but then she has set
her heart on your getting the good of another year at the seminary, and
she may feel worse about your having to lose that than about her having
to lose your company. And she begins this winter with better health and
better courage than she did last winter."
"And do you think I would have gone away last winter if I had known? I
know she has you now. Yes, Aunt Ruby, it is of myself I am thinking.
She is all I've got, and I must stay with her while she is here. Months
or years--what is the difference?"
"I understand your feeling." There was a long silence, and then Mrs
Stone added--"I don't know that I am capable of realising all the good a
year at the seminary would do you. I think you couldn't fail to get
much good for this world, and for the next as well, from the company of
your sister. But if she has set her heart on your going away, I don't
see but you must go, dear."
"I cannot, Aunt Ruby."
"I know that's your feeling. But you mustn't be wilful about it,
Fidelia."
"I cannot go."
"Have you spoken to Dr Everett?"
"Yes, but he didn't help me any."
"Well, I don't see but you'll have to talk to Eunice about it. Only you
must make up your mind to do just as she says. And you must lay it all
before the Lord. It is His will you must seek to know."
"You will have to do that for me, Aunt Ruby. I don't seem to have any
right to do that."
"Because you can't submit. But, child, you may set your heart on
getting your own will, and you may get it; and, if you do, it will be
bitterness to you. Give up your will to be guided by the Lord, and then
you will know what it is to be content."
"How can it be His will that I should leave her who has been more than a
mother to me all my life, now that she is so near--Oh, Aunt Ruby, I
cannot go!"
To say that Fidelia was heart-sick these days, is not saying too much.
She grieved over Eunice; and all her sorrow and her love were embittered
by the memory of the "bad dream" which would return; and she hated it
and herself, traitor as she called herself. She did not sleep at night,
and she was restless and listless by day; her face grew pale, and her
eyes grew large and full of anxious pain; and her sister, who had
watched her through it all, could keep silence no longer, and so she
spoke.
Fidelia had come down as usual with her book in her hand, but, seated at
the window, with her eyes on the fading vine-leaves that fluttered about
it, she seemed to have forgotten her book and the reading which Eunice
had prepared herself to hear.
"Are you ready, dear?" said Eunice.
"Ready?" repeated Fidelia. "I don't know. I don't seem to care much
about it to-day, or about anything else."
"Fidelia, come and sit here by me. Never mind the book, dear. What is
it that troubles you? Is it the thought of going away?"
"I don't think I can go, Eunice. I don't think I had better go."
"Will you tell me all about it, dear?" said Eunice, speaking very
gently. "Come and sit by me."
Fidelia rose and went slowly to her sister's side.
"For one thing, I don't feel as if I could leave you," said she, putting
great restraint upon herself, that she might speak quietly.
"Well, and what else?"
"I should have to work even harder that I did last year in order to
graduate. It is quite doubtful whether I could if I should do my best;
and I don't seem to care about it enough to try."
"You might feel differently when you were there among the rest of the
pupils."
Fidelia shook her head.
"I think perhaps I should study at home, and perhaps teach awhile, as we
first intended; and I might go next year. I don't seem to have the
ambition I used to have about it. Going to the seminary isn't
everything. I guess you had better let me stay at home."
"I will think about it, dear. I am sorry you feel so," said Eunice
gravely.
Of course Fidelia had her own way. After much consideration of the
matter by Eunice and her two counsellors, Mrs Stone and the doctor, it
was thought best that it should be so. She was too unhappy and
indifferent to appreciate or to profit by the advantages to be enjoyed
at the seminary, and for the present she would be better at home. She
could still go there later, if the way should open; and so it was left.
Jabez's plans were not settled for the next summer yet; but, whether he
was to rent Miss Eunice's garden or not, it must be planted and sowed by
some one; and the more there was done in the fall the less there would
be to do in the spring.
"And I consider that it was in the contract that I should leave it all
straight," said Jabez; and so he worked faithfully, and Fidelia worked
with him; and the sharp autumn winds brought a tinge of colour to her
pale face, and now and then the sound of her laugh brought a thrill of
pleasure to the hearts of the two women sitting within.
She was very gentle and loving with Eunice all this time, watching over
her, and anticipating her wishes in many sweet and unexpected ways. She
was helpful to Mrs Stone also--indeed, showing a little wilfulness in
the constant taking of the least pleasant part of the household work
into her own hands. She was trying to be good, but she was not happy.
She might have known--she did know, that without submission to the will
of God no one could be either truly happy or good; and she was not
submissive. Things had gone sadly wrong with their happy life, and for
her she saw no chance happiness again.
Poor foolish child!--that she could not see, because she shut her eyes
to the light.
CHAPTER TWELVE.
THE WINTER SCHOOL.
Fidelia had too much real strength of character long to yield willingly
to sorrow or to the pain of rebellion. She had the sense to see that
her sadness depressed her sister, and did her harm.
She could not "make believe" to be happy and light-hearted as of old,
but after a time she did try to accept the circumstances of her life as
it seemed to lie before her, and to determine to make the best of it;
and Eunice was content to wait patiently till a better peace on a surer
foundation should be hers. And help came to Fidelia, after a time, in a
way not foreseen.
They were all expected to spend Thanksgiving Day at Dr Everett's. That
is, they were to go to church in the morning, and return to dine early
with the Everetts, intending to be home before dark. There was a little
change in the plan, however. At the church they met Mrs Pease, the
sister of Ezra Stone, who invited Mrs Stone to go home with her and
keep Thanksgiving with "her own folks at the old place;" and Mrs Stone
accepted the invitation, though it seemed rather like leaving "her own
folks" to do so.
Mrs Pease had not been any too friendly hitherto and her sister-in-law
was too glad to meet her halfway. So she gave up the pleasure she had
been promising herself at Dr Everett's, and went with her. Her kind
heart had been touched by the sight of the boys growing up there "on
father's old place," as she always called it to herself, and she longed
for a chance to do them good, for the sake of the boys she had lost, and
who were lying beside their father and their little sister far away in
the West. So she gladly went.
All Thanksgiving Days and dinners are alike in most respects in homes
were nothing very sorrowful has happened since the last one. It was in
all respects a delightful day at Dr Everett's. It was very mild for
the season, and the young people went out and in, and amused themselves
in various ways, and, without making any definite plan to that end, had
a good time.
"Fidelia seems to be growing more cheerful again," said the doctor, as
the sound of gay voices came to them where they were sitting in the
house.
"Yes; I hope it will be well with her after awhile. I am not afraid for
her," said Eunice. But though she smiled she sighed also; and then she
added--"I would have liked to live a little longer for her sake."
"You may live many years yet, as Justin says. With a quiet life, such
as you live, you may be well, though not strong, for years to come. You
may see your sister's children yet before you die."
Eunice shook her head.
"No; I do not look for that. And I don't think Justin quite knows."
"You are not feeling worse, Eunice?"
"No--oh, no! I am better in many ways. I do not trouble myself about
my health any more. I hope I am willing either to stay or to go. As
for my Fidelia--why, she will be as safe, and by-and-by she will be as
happy without me as with me, thank God!"
There was a pause of several minutes, and then Dr Everett said--
"I had a letter from Justin the other day. Yes--I know Mary showed it
to you. There was a private note in it that Mary did not see. Eunice,
Justin wrote to me about Fidelia."
He had moved away a little, and was watching Miss Eunice's face with
some anxiety. She was silent a moment, and she said gravely--"I am not
sure that it was wise in him to do so."
"You are not surprised?"
"I am surprised that he should have written to you. I am not surprised
at what he had to say--if it is as I think. He spoke to me before he
went away."
"He spoke to you?" said the doctor in astonishment, coming forward and
sitting down again. "And Fidelia?"
"No," answered Eunice gravely; "she is too young. I would not let him
speak; and indeed he had not the chance. I would not have her disturbed
by any such thoughts."
"You are right. Justin was a bold man to venture to speak to you--about
your sister. She is worth waiting for, if he have the courage to wait
this time. Forgive me, Eunice--but I am angry with him."
"You must not be angry with Justin for my sake. That is all past, Dr
Everett--quite past. I did not quite know it myself until I saw him.
Yes, I own I was a little afraid at the thought of his coming. But he
was quite changed--another man. A better man perhaps than the Justin I
loved when I was young, but different. Oh, yes, I love him still, in
another way! You must see how differently, since I can say this to
you."
Dr Everett rose and walked several times up and down the room. Then
Eunice spoke again.
"There is something which I ought to have told you long ago, for I have
seen that you have been feeling hard toward your brother because of me.
I had written to set him free from his promise to me, long before I
heard that he was going to be married. I could not leave them, you
know, and could not bear that he should feel himself bound to me and
regret it. I do not deny that I felt his marriage as a blow. But all
that has been long past. I never grudged him any happiness he may have
had, nor any happiness that may come to him. But I will not have my
Fidelia disturbed by thoughts of him, for years to come. Why did he
write to you?"
"He gave me no particular reason. I think it was partly because he was
not happy in keeping a secret from me. Foolish fellow! I knew how it
was with him before he knew it himself. I was anxious only to get him
away before he should betray himself to her."
"He did not speak to her."
"No. I think, too, he wished to bespeak for her a brother's care, now
and always. That was foolish too. I do not think I love my own
daughters better than I love Fidelia."
"I know it. I am sure of it; and I shall feel thankful that when I
leave her she will be in your care."
There was silence between them for awhile. Then Eunice said--
"Dr Everett, had you any special reason for telling me this?"
"For a time I hesitated, lest I might hurt you. But I felt that it
would be wrong to conceal from you anything that might affect your
sister's future."
"It is all in God's hands. I leave it there. But I will not have
Fidelia disturbed now, nor for years to come," repeated Eunice.
"But not for _many_ years, Eunice? Still, you are wise. If he were to
speak now, or soon, it would end all for him. Fidelia would be shocked
and offended for your sake. And indeed it would be wrong for other
reasons."
"We will leave it all, Dr Everett. We will not speak of this again.
Say to Justin,--if you say anything,--that he must wait."
"Eunice, will you let me say one thing more? I confess that I was hard
on Justin long ago. I did not know that you had set him free from his
promise, and I wrote to him, telling him that it would not be wise for
himself or pleasant for me that he should bring his wife to visit us at
that time, as he spoke of doing. I was hard on him. He did not write
for a long time, but he forgave me and wrote first. I thought then he
was not happy in his marriage. He told me something about it when he
came home last. His wife was the adopted daughter of our uncle--a
spoiled child, I fear. She loved him, and, I suppose, let him see it.
His uncle wished for the marriage, and `it did not seem to matter much,'
he said, which was wrong. And so it came to pass. He tried to make her
happy while she lived, he said. You are right, Eunice. Justin is a
better and a stronger man than his youth promised. Yes, it is right
that he should wait, though, waiting, he may lose the prize he covets.
Other eyes are on the child; but to speak now would be to lose her."
"We will not say anything more," said Eunice.
Indeed there was no chance to say anything more at that time. A
pleasant clamour had arisen in the front yard, where the young people
had been moving about quietly enough until Jabez came. Jabez had been
eating his Thanksgiving dinner at his grandfather's, with uncles aunts,
and cousins, as was the thing to do, and had enjoyed it all, it is to be
supposed. But that something was the matter Fidelia saw the moment he
came near.
"I have been to the office, and I have got the letters--one for Miss
Eunice, and one for you. I got one for myself too, and I wish I hadn't,
though that would not have helped me any."
"Who is the letter from?"
"And what is the trouble?"
"If it isn't a secret?" said several voices in chorus.
"It isn't a secret. My letter is from Mr Fuller. And the trouble is,
that he is not coming to Halsey this winter. Oh, yes, he's all right!
His uncle has died and left him some money, and he doesn't need to teach
this winter. But his uncle has put a spoke in _my_ wheel. I have a
good mind to go to Scranton on my own hook, and take my chance."
"But there may be as good a teacher as Mr Fuller here. You had better
wait and see."
"Not a chance of it. Unless you'll take the school Fidelia?"
Then came the merry uproar which had interrupted the conversation
within; and the laughter and chatter and noise increased till they were
called into the house by the mother. The "What is the trouble?" of Dr
Everett was answered by half a dozen voices at once. But it was Jabez
who made the matter clear to their elders.
"Mr Fuller isn't coming back this winter, and we all agree that Miss
Fidelia ought to teach our school. Know enough? I guess so! And as
for government--I should just like to see the first one try to make her
trouble in school. There wouldn't be any second time, I don't believe."
Jabez turned, quite fierce in looks, to the Everett boys, who, to tell
the truth, were neither the most studious nor the most submissive to
school discipline. Ned took refuge behind his father, and made believe
to be very much afraid. Dr Everett had his own thoughts about the
matter, but he did not commit himself that night. When he said it would
be worth while for the school committee to take the matter into
consideration, they all thought he was "only joking," as Ned said.
However, it came to pass that the school was offered to Fidelia. Jabez
had moved the doctor, and the doctor had moved the school committee. A
woman had never taught the winter school in Halsey before, but there was
no reason why a woman should not teach it this winter. Fidelia Marsh
had been the best scholar in the school when she attended it. She had
studied since at home, and she had been a year in Holyoke seminary. If
anything had been needed to turn the scale of opinion in her favour, it
was the suggestion made by Deacon Ainsworth, that being a woman they
could get her to teach five months for as little, may be for less, than
Mr Fuller or any other young man would expect for four months. It was
the deacon who was appointed to see Miss Fidelia; and Dr Everett went
with him "to help talk the matter over."
Miss Eunice and Dr Everett had not waited for the assistance of Deacon
Ainsworth before they talked the matter over, however; and after a good
deal of anxious consideration they agreed to leave the decision to
Fidelia herself, as to whether she would teach the school or not. To
her it did not seem so very grave a matter.
"I might try it," said she; "only, if I fail, I will never be able to
hold up my head in Halsey again."
But she had no thought of failing. After the weary time of depression
through which she had been passing, it was real pleasure to throw
herself into the work she had undertaken. The fact that she knew every
boy and girl in the place, and that some of the elder ones among her
pupils had been her schoolmates only a few years ago, made the teaching
and even the government of the school easier in some respects than they
would have been to a stranger. For she knew all their weak points both
in scholarship and in temper--"their easily besetting sins," as the
deacon called them--and she could guide and restrain them accordingly,
better than a stranger might have done, and she did succeed well with
them all.
But she might have had some trouble in governing the bright, eager
little men and women committed to her care, many of whom were in the
habit of assuming a share of family government at home, if she had not
been "well backed," as Jabez called it. Of this backing Jabez did his
share, both by precept and example. The respectful deference of his
behaviour to the teacher, and the strict obedience he rendered, both in
spirit and in letter, to the school rules, some of which were meant
chiefly for the guidance of small boys who needed "line upon line,"
helped her greatly, though, in observing him, Fidelia had sometimes much
difficulty in preserving her gravity before the rest of her pupils.
He helped her in other ways too. When Master Vanburen Swift, the son of
one of the few rich men in Halsey, had been more than usually
troublesome in school, and had answered Jabez's mild expostulation by
demanding to be told "who Fidelia Marsh was, anyway?" his sled was
forthwith taken possession of and impounded for the space of twenty-four
hours. As it was after the first heavy fall of snow, and the long hill
"just splendid" for coasting, it was a severe punishment, and all the
more so that it was gravely suggested to his companions that loyalty to
their teacher forbade the loan of any one's sled to the bad boy who
would not do his duty. Of course the boy complained to his father, and
his father complained to various people--to the school committee and the
teacher--to Deacon Ainsworth, and to Jabez himself. Jabez acknowledged
his part in the transaction, and promised not to repeat it--till the
next time. But the next time never came. Young Van, as the boys called
him, had had his lesson.
Other people helped also. School committees, from time immemorial, have
acknowledged it to be their duty to visit the schools under their care,
in order to encourage both teacher and pupils; but the duty had been
rather neglected in Halsey. They did visit the school this winter,
however. So did the minister, so did Dr Everett; and altogether it was
agreed that, as a teacher, Fidelia Marsh might be considered a success.
Work went on wonderfully well day by day, and there were now and then
evening spelling schools, conducted in the usual energetic manner, and
there were "speaking pieces," and "they did considerable more singing,
first and last, than was generally done in schools," Deacon Ainsworth
remarked in the course of a little speech he made one day when he came
with the rest. He left his hearers in doubt of his entire approval of
so much singing; but he declared himself "satisfied on the whole," which
was encouraging.
Everything went smoothly. The scholars learned their lessons well, and
they learned also some things not in the text-books. For Fidelia threw
herself into her work with an earnestness and skill which could not but
win from the bright scholars and the well-disposed among her pupils a
cheerful response; but she did none of them more good than she received
herself.
Not only was she able to throw off the sadness and depression which had
fallen upon her when she had been told of the state of her sister's
health, but she advanced a good many steps towards real womanhood.
Before the winter was over, the neighbours "expected that there was
considerable more in Fidelia Marsh than folks had generally thought,"
and gave themselves leave to hope that the softness of Miss Eunice in
bringing her up had not altogether spoiled her. She was going to do
some good work in the world, it was owned, if the work she was doing in
Halsey was a fair sample.
And Fidelia herself began to think this possible.
"I like it, Eunice. I feel that I can teach those things that I know
well. And, when I have learned more, I hope I shall be successful in
higher teaching."
"If there is any teaching higher, in the best sense, than the teaching
of the little children," replied her sister. "Remember, it is easier to
bend the twig than the tall sapling; and what you teach them out of
their school-books makes but a small part of what they must learn from
you."
"Yes, if I were good--like you," said Fidelia gravely.
But she did try to be faithful in all her teaching. To do their work
well and honestly, to hate a lie, to live by the "golden rule," and to
remember everywhere and always, "Thou God seest me!" was the sum of her
moral teaching as given to the school. Now and then a word was spoken
quietly to one and another who seemed to need it, which went deeper than
that, though Fidelia was not sure that she had a right to urge on others
the duty and privilege of living up to the teaching and spirit of the
Gospel, when she was not sure that she was so living herself.
But she came to surer and happier knowledge as the months went on. In
her troubled moments, before she came home, she had said to herself that
she needed Eunice, and she was right. And now she had Eunice, and her
sweet words, dropped only now and then, did her good, and her beautiful
life day by day did more. Her full content in that which God's will had
assigned to her, though it had brought loss and pain in the past, and
involved now a daily expectation of death, wrought, with higher teaching
still, to bring Fidelia to clearer light and stronger faith than she had
ever yet enjoyed. And with these came first submission, and then joy in
God's will, for them both. But this came later, when her school-keeping
days were over; and to the end, so greatly to be desired, Jabez helped a
little, as well as Eunice.
For three whole months school life had gone on "without a hitch," as
Jabez said triumphantly, and the pupils and teacher together were
beginning to discuss the propriety of giving a little time to special
preparation for the closing examination, when something happened. A
thaw came--a sudden fall of warm rain, which lasted a day and a night,
and covered the ice on the mill-pond with water, and the neighbouring
meadows as well. And then the frost came again strong and sharp, making
mill-pond and meadows sheets of shining silver; and for once everything
happened just right, for it was full moon, with clear skies--the
brightest of moonlight.
Of course every scholar in the school was bound to be on the ice, and a
great many besides; and Jabez and a few others voted themselves into the
office of a safety committee to see to the rest, to keep the naughty
ones out of mischief and the heedless ones out of danger. There were
not skates enough in the town of Halsey for half who were there, but
there were a good many pairs, and there were sleds, and those who had
neither skates nor sleds could slide on their own feet; and all expected
a good time, and most of them had it.
Fidelia was not there the first night, but, yielding to entreaty, she
came the second night, and enjoyed it as well as any of them all. But
she was not there on the third night, when something happened. No one
else ought to have been there, for the frost had gone, and there was
water over the ice on some parts of the pond. The meadow ice was safe
enough, but on the pond, where the water was not, the ice was like
glass, and thinner than they knew.
Especially was this the case where the weir brook fell into the pond, a
little below the bridge, at the place where the boys had taken their
sleds to "coast" down the hill and over the sloping bank with an impetus
which sent them flying over to the other side of the pond. Young Van,
preferring to-night his sled to his skates, was there with the rest, and
either through bravado or want of skill, steered, or let his sled take
its own way, to the open water where the brook came in. A cry from his
companions came too late to warn him, but it warned the others at a
distance that some one was in danger; and several were on the spot in a
minute or two, and among the rest Jabez.
"Who is it? Young Van? Yes, he is just the fellow for such a job,"
said he, taking off his skates and plunging into the water where the
boy's sled was floating, the ice cracking and crumbling beneath his feet
as he ran. The water was not very deep, and young Van, gasping and
shivering with terror and cold, was passed over to the hands waiting for
him.
"And I say, you boys, keep back. The ice at the edge is none too strong
to bear the half of you. Be off home, or your mothers will be here
before you know it. I mean to go the other way, if I can, and save a
journey."
All this time Jabez was struggling, and always into deeper water, with
the ice that would not bear his weight when he let himself rest upon it.
He could land easily on the other side, he knew, but then he must go
home by the bridge, a good half-mile and more, which he did not care to
do. He struggled awhile, cheered by the voices of his companions; but
he had to give it up at last, as he owned afterwards he should have done
at first; and he was chilled to the bone before he reached home.
The next day young Van was at school--"as smart as ever," the boys
declared--and so was Jabez, but Jabez was not as smart as ever. He
shivered and burned alternately till noon, and then he went home; and
that was the last that was seen of Jabez in the school that winter.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
GOOD SEED AND GOOD FRUIT.
There was a hard time before Jabez. Rheumatic fever was among the least
of the troubles suggested as possible in his case by his grandfather,
when he came shivering home from the mill-pond that night. But that was
happily averted by the prompt and skilful treatment of Dr Everett,
after just enough of suffering to make Jabez ever for the future rather
more sympathetic with the aches and pains of his grandfather.
Jabez, however, was not to escape his share of discipline; and his
trouble came, as most people's troubles seem to come, in the way which
is hardest to bear. He did not have "the long spell of rheumatism"
which his grandfather had predicted, but he had what was worse.
Inflammation settled in the lad's eyes, and for a time he suffered great
pain. He could have borne the pain patiently, even cheerfully. That
which tried his courage and brought him low was the darkness--the
darkness and the horrible doubt whether he was ever to see the light
again.
He need not have suffered from this fear. Dr Everett never really
feared blindness for him, and always spoke cheerfully to him about soon
being well again.
"But that is the way the doctors have of letting a fellow down easy,"
thought Jabez, taking less comfort than he might have done from the
doctor's words.
No visitors were admitted except those whom the doctor allowed to come,
and every day seemed like a week to Jabez, and the nights were longer
still. In the daytime he could hear his grandmother moving about the
rooms, and the voices of chance comers and goers to the house. At night
there was no sound but the rush of the wind, or the barking of his dog
Buff outside; and within the ceaseless tick-tack of the tall clock in
the corner, which said to him all manner of solemn things which he could
not forget.
His grandmother made him nice things to eat, and his grandfather sat
beside him a little while many times a day, and both were as good to him
as good could be. His grandfather was faithful as well as kind, and
reminded him of past misdeeds--the sins of his youth, he called them--
and warned him of worse things that were in store for him unless he
turned from his evil ways. It was "hitting a fellow when he was down,"
Jabez thought, but he listened in silence to all he had to say. Indeed,
through all these dark days he lay without a word, fighting his battle
with his fears and his rebellious murmurs alone, asking help from no
one.
Fidelia came in to see him for a minute or two every night on her way
home from school, and gave him a summary of school work and school
events generally, and enlarged more than would have been wise at another
time on the amusing incidents of the day, for the sake of bringing a
smile to his sober face. But even Fidelia got few words from him, and
it was a good while before she came to see how miserable the poor fellow
was in his solitude; and even when she saw it she did not know how to
help him.
"What are you thinking about, Jabez?" said she one night, when she had
scarcely got from him even the usual response. Seeing the look on his
face, she did not wait for an answer. "To-morrow is Saturday. I shall
bring down the books and have school here, if doctor will let me. Or
shall I bring Eunice? Yes, if it is a fine day I will bring Eunice.
She has wanted to come for ever so long, but she has waited till she
should be able to have a good long visit with you. If any one can do
you good, Eunice can," added Fidelia, laughing, though, seeing Jabez's
sober face, she did not feel much like it.
"I shall be glad to have Miss Eunice come and see me," said Jabez
gravely.
A good while after that, Jabez told Fidelia what he had been thinking
about that afternoon, and indeed what he had been thinking about most of
the time during these sorrowful nights and days.
"The `blackness of darkness for ever.' Yes, I did feel hard. I thought
I was going to be blind; and I would a great deal rather have died, only
I was afraid."
Eunice came to see him, but even Eunice did not seem to help him much on
her first visit. Before her second visit, something had happened. Mr
Swift had paid Dr Everett a visit, and they had had a little talk
together.
The doctor owned that he was anxious about Jabez. No, he was not afraid
he was going to die. It was his eyes he was in doubt about.
"Blind?" said Mr Swift. "He'd better die."
"Only one can't die till his time comes. Blind? No, I am not afraid of
utter blindness. But I almost think it would be easier for Jabez to
find himself blind than with just sight enough to potter about and do a
little. He is a bright boy, Jabez, and ambitious."
"Dr Everett, do you suppose you know all that is to be known about the
eye and its diseases? Hadn't you better have help?"
"I'd be glad to have help. No; I don't know about the eye, as one who
has made it the study of his life must know it. If Jabez could only
pick up a little strength I would take him to Boston, and hear what Dr
Blake would have to say about him. It would be too great a risk just
now."
"Send for Dr Blake--why can't you?" said Mr Swift.
Dr Everett shook his head.
"I should like to. But it would cost a good deal; and Deacon Ainsworth
is not a rich man."
"Send for him. I'll stand the fee."
"It may be a big one."
"It won't cost more than my boy's funeral would have done," said Mr
Swift huskily. "Jabez saved me that, they say."
It was a queer way to put it, Dr Everett thought. Mr Swift went on--
"I'll go on to Boston and fetch him straight on here. Days are precious
when a man's eyesight is to be considered."
And he was as good as his word. Dr Everett saw him in a little while
driving his sleigh at a great pace, over half-bare roads, in order to
catch the afternoon train.
"He is something more than just a rich man," said he to himself, "though
I never thought it before."
The next day Dr Blake came. He was an old man to look at, but he spoke
like a young man, and had the quick, cheerful ways of youth; and he had
wonderful bright eyes of his own. He saw a good deal more in Deacon
Ainsworth's house than the eyes of Jabez, which he had come to see, and
his prescription went beyond them. He spoke encouragingly of the eyes,
and gave a word of advice about other matters.
Jabez was to do his best to get strong and well, and he must be cheerful
and hopeful. Nothing was so bad for a fellow as letting himself be
downhearted. His eyesight was safe, as the doctor believed, but it
would depend on the state of the patient's general health as to how soon
and how rapid the change for the better in the eyes would be--and so on.
To Dr Everett he said--
"A solemn sort of place, Deacon Ainsworth's house, isn't it? The lad
ought to get a change. Is there nowhere you could send him after a
little while?"
He said this at Dr Everett's tea-table, where on that occasion Fidelia
was seated with the rest.
"Let Eunice have him for a little while," said she to Dr Everett.
"All right," said he, and explained the situation to Dr Blake.
"I have no doubt such a change will do all that can be wished, if Miss
Eunice is at all like her sister," said he politely.
So to Eunice Jabez came after awhile; and doubtless Eunice felt it to be
her duty to improve the occasion also. But her way was not quite the
deacon's way. It went farther, and circumstances gave it a better
chance. For Jabez had got a glimpse of daylight by this time, and the
change was wonderfully pleasant to him. His heart was tender too, and
the good seed of the Word which Miss Eunice let fall now and then, fell
into ground prepared for it, and in course of time it took root there
and sprang up, and, though Eunice did not live to see it, bore fruit a
hundred-fold. Through the ministry of pain and a terrible dread, the
Lord Himself had dealt with him, and a great light had begun to shine
through the darkness, even before he knew that that which he feared was
not to come upon him.
It was a good while before he told this to any one but Miss Eunice. It
was years before he put into words, for other men to hear, the vow which
he uttered to the Lord on the very first day when, standing by the fence
in Miss Eunice's garden, he could look over the field and the river to
the hills beyond--the vow to be His servant for ever.
In the meantime the winter school, in which Fidelia had won golden
opinions, came to an end; and the leisure which this brought to her was
as good for her as the constant occupation of teaching had been when the
winter school began. She hardly knew what to do with her new liberty at
first. She made plans for the wise disposal of her time, but these were
for the future. For the present time she was content to go out and in,
to read or work, to visit or receive visitors with a free mind; and her
chief work which was also her chief pleasure, was taking care of Eunice.
Not that Eunice was supposed to need especial care just then. She was
not strong, but her strength was not tried. Household matters were
altogether in the hands of Mrs Stone, and in better hands they could
not have been. Eunice was quite content that it should be so--a sign,
if Fidelia had considered it, that she was no longer able for the
lightest of her household work, which she had made her pleasure during
all the years which they had been alone together. But Fidelia, at this
time, had no thought of fear. It seemed to her almost as if the old
happy days, when she, at least, had no dread of coming sorrow, had come
again, with only the comfortable difference which the presence of Mrs
Stone made in the house; and she saw no reason why this quiet happy life
might not continue for years.
Jabez came often up the hill, after his return home, as soon as he had
strength to do so--a little too often, his grandfather was afraid.
"Don't you wear your welcome out up there," said he. "Why don't you
go--" here or there, or to the other place which the deacon named.
Jabez troubled no one by his frequent comings and goings, for which his
studies, to which he had returned with quiet determination, made reason
sufficient. He had had a talk with his grandfather about this in the
beginning of the winter. He was going to college--that was certain.
No, he did not quite know what was to come after. He "was going to be
President of the United States maybe," he said gravely; and at any rate
he was going to make himself fit for it.
His grandfather was by no means convinced of the wisdom of the boy's
resolution--indeed, he "worried about it considerable," as Mrs
Ainsworth had occasion to know. He could not refuse to let him attend
the winter school, though he had told him it would pay him better to be
splitting reeds in Weir's swamp than in going to a woman's school--and
"only a girl at that," said the deacon, with good-humoured contempt.
Since his illness Jabez had been allowed to do as he pleased, but his
grandfather worried about him still. Few boys had a better chance than
Jabez had. There was the farm--not a large one, but as good land as any
in Halsey--which might be his as soon as ever the old folks were gone.
It might be his now as far as management and profits were concerned.
All the old folks would want was a home there while they lived. Jabez
did not know his privileges--and so on.
"You go and talk with the doctor about it, and with Miss Eunice," said
his wife, a little weary of the constant theme. So the deacon "freed
his mind" to Miss Eunice, making a grievance of his idea that she and
Fidelia encouraged Jabez in his determination to turn his back on the
old place.
"Not directly, may be," said he, qualifying his words after a glance at
Fidelia's face. "But you set so much by books, and a chance of getting
an education, and all that--nothing else seems to count, and Jabez has
always thought so much of you both. Well, I am not blaming you. But
when a boy like Jabez begins to talk of going to college and being
President of the United States, there does not seem to be much hope of
him."
"Why not?" said Fidelia, throwing down the gauntlet, or, rather taking
it up. "All the Presidents of the United States were boys once, and a
good many of them were just such boys as Jabez--farmers' boys or poor
men's sons who had to push their own way."
"But that is just what Jabez needn't do. I am not rich, but neither am
I so poor that there need be any hardship in getting along right here in
Halsey. The fact is, he is a sight too ambitious. He thinks all he's
got to do is to go to college and come out again, and things will fix
themselves to suit him. But he'll fail as like as not; and then where
will he be?"
"He can come home then to the farm," said Fidelia, laughing. "But he is
not going to fail."
"Deacon Ainsworth," said Miss Eunice gently, "I am sorry you feel so
about Jabez. I know it will be a trouble to you if he should go."
"Oh, well, as to that, I have other grandsons!"
"Yes, and I am glad for your sake it is so. Jabez, is not going to be
President. But if you think of it, almost all the men of mark in our
country that you or I know much about have begun by being just such boys
as Jabez."
"Yes, indeed!" said Fidelia; and she went over the names of half a dozen
who were prominent men in the State, and in other States.
"Yes, and even better men and greater men, in your opinion and in mine,
than some of these," said Miss Eunice gently; and in her turn she gave
the names of a good many distinguished ministers who had begun life as
farmers' boys, and the names of missionaries in whom they took interest
for their work's sake, as well.
Deacon Ainsworth did not get much help from Miss Eunice, nor from Dr
Everett either.
"Whether Jabez is fit to make a scholar remains to be seen," said the
doctor. "But he has the fever on him, and he is bound to try."
"I know he is a smart boy," said the deacon dolefully.
"He isn't a boy any longer. And I think he sees his way clear before
him. You can't keep him at home on the farm, deacon, and you may as
well let him go, and help him along all you can."
All this had been at the beginning of the winter. Jabez had gone to
school, and in the spring the deacon saw that he must let him go his own
way. As to helping him along--that had to be considered. But in the
meantime, till he should get strong again, Jabez was permitted to do as
he liked. He had changed very much since the beginning of the winter,
especially since his illness. He looked less like an overgrown boy, and
more like a lank and loose-jointed young man, who did not know quite
what to do with his hands or feet in certain circumstances, and who was
in danger of slouching somewhat, and of getting a stoop in his
shoulders, unless some one took him in hand. Mrs Stone did him this
kindness, and to good purpose.
He changed in other ways. He talked less, and it is to be supposed,
thought more. But, though he was rather silent than otherwise, he was
as cheerful as ever, and more gentle and considerate at home. His
grandfather could see the difference, and acknowledged a hope that with
his help the boy might come out right at last. His help at this time
was given in a way that Jabez could appreciate.
It was the grandfather this time who proposed to Miss Eunice that she
should let Jabez have her garden again. He was afraid of the mischief
found for idle hands, and he could not be satisfied that in his books
Jabez might find enough work to keep him out of any temptation to
idleness. So the proposal about the garden was made by him.
Jabez had no objection. The garden had paid well last year, and would
do better this year, he thought; and he knew that as much as he ought to
do with his eyes, in the way of study, would not be hindered by the work
of the garden. So he sat and listened while his grandfather set the
matter in all lights, and assented quietly to all arrangements made.
Fidelia was listening also, and watching Jabez. His silent and smiling
assent to all that was agreed on,--so different from the boyish
self-assertion which had amused them last year,--made her wonder. His
manner to his grandfather also was very different.
"Yes," said Eunice, when Fidelia spoke of this to her, "Jabez is
changed. His sickness has been blessed to him."
"His sickness, or something else, is making a man of him," said Mrs
Stone. "The world will hear of Jabez before he dies."
"He is going to be President," said Fidelia laughing. "One thing is
sure. He is getting beyond _my_ teaching. I shall have to look out, or
I shall be left behind."
There was more truth in Fidelia's admission than she knew. Jabez had
indeed "taken a new departure." He had a new motive for work, and he
worked better. He had no troubled thoughts as to what he was to do, or
as to how he was to do it. He knew all would go well with him, because
his life's work, and his life itself, belonged to Him who had all things
at His disposal, and Whose promise was sure that "all things shall work
together for good" to His children.
He could speak to Miss Eunice about these things when she encouraged him
to do so; he could not so easily speak to Fidelia. It was about their
reading, as it had always been, and about the garden, that he had much
to say to her for a time, and there was enough to say about both.
Gardening was pleasant enough work as they did it. They did not make
hard work of it. Jabez sowed and planted; and, when the time came for
the disposal of the products of the garden, he was as pleased with the
results as he had been last year, though he did not show his pleasure
quite in the same way. His success meant even more to him than it had
done the last year, for he saw more clearly the way before him, and the
end of the way.
And, after all, the real work of the summer was not done in the garden.
A good deal of it was done in his grandfather's old buggy, which carried
here and there the garden products for the benefit of the summer
visitors, who were this year more numerous than ever. One book, and
sometimes more than one, in covers of thick brown paper, found a place
beneath the cushion; and the deacon's trustworthy old horse was allowed
to take his own way, and to choose his own pace along the hilly road
between Halsey Centre and Halsey Corners, while Jabez read or pondered
the wise words which they contained.
And more was done in the back porch when the time came for a pause in
the work of the garden. There on fine mornings Miss Eunice sat with her
needlework, and Fidelia with her books; and it was her part usually to
read for the benefit of the three. In this way were gone through a good
many books, and, among the rest, Fidelia's text-book on "The Evidences,"
which she acknowledged had been gone over rather hurriedly; and Butler's
"Analogy," which was one of the studies of the last year in the
seminary, to which she was beginning to think she might possibly go
again. Neither of these would help Jabez in the preliminary
examinations to which he looked forward. They might come in afterwards;
and he took part in the reading, and in the talk which grew out of it,
with an eagerness and a just appreciation which astonished the sisters.
All enjoyed these mornings. Even Mrs Stone brought sometimes her peas
to shell, or her beans to pick over, so that she might share the
pleasure and the profit of the reading with the rest.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
"SO HE GIVETH HIS BELOVED SLEEP."
And so the spring days passed, and the summer days shone over a happy
homestead. Many a time Fidelia said to herself that she desired no
other work and no other pleasure than just to live as they were living
now. And it did seem as though God was going to permit it for a time.
Her "bad dream" had vanished; if the thought of it came back now and
then, the sharpness had gone out of the pain which still touched her a
little. She had not forgotten altogether. Dr Justin had not allowed
her to forget.
He had written frequently--not to her, but to her sister--kind, pleasant
letters; the excuse for the first being to send her tidings of the
friend whose address had been asked and given on that last day, and whom
he had visited at her request.
He had found her a cripple and nearly helpless, but striving to do her
part still in the great educational institution to which her health and
strength had been given in her youth. Then he added a few good and true
words about the hope and the help which had sustained this friend amid
all her labours and suffering--"as they are doubtless sustaining you,
dear Eunice, in the quiet of your favoured home."
Then he sent his respects to Mrs Stone, and added--"I was not surprised
to hear that Miss Faithful had chosen to remain at home with you; and
may the comfort and joy which her presence must give you be given to her
by the best Comforter when her day of trial shall come!" In a little
while he wrote again, sending also a book which he was sure Eunice would
like; and after that he wrote with no excuse at all.
He told them about his new work in the college to which he had been
appointed professor, and about his friends, and his pleasant social
relations, and his outside work. Eunice did not answer all his letters,
but she took pleasure in receiving them. Kind brotherly letters they
were, which Fidelia read, and which they discussed a little, as they
might have discussed the letters of Dr Everett himself, if he had been
away from and had written, to them.
So the spring passed, and the summer wore on, till August came with
burning days and sultry nights, which told on the strength of Eunice,
already failing, so slowly that the eyes that watched her so lovingly
did not see it for a time. Even Dr Everett saw no cause for alarm, nor
Mrs Stone, who watched her more closely than he did.
But Eunice knew that the end was drawing near. Afterwards they all
wondered that they had not seen more clearly, remembering looks and
words which they might have taken for a sign that the joy of heaven was
not far away. But so quietly passed the days, with so little to disturb
or tire her, that she herself did not know how rapidly her strength was
passing from her.
The close days of early August oppressed her, and made the change for
the worse suddenly visible to them all. The end did not come without a
warning, as Dr Everett had thought it might come. There were days and
nights of waiting before her still, when even Fidelia saw the tokens of
the last change. There was no great suffering, only weariness and
exhaustion, borne sweetly and patiently, and a joyful waiting for "the
rest which remains."
There was a word spoken now and then to console or to encourage her
sister, who waited quietly beside her.
"You know all I wish for you, dear; I am not afraid for you. You are in
a Father's loving hand, and by-and-by, when your work is done, you will
come to me there," she said to her, murmuring the sentences at
intervals, as she had the strength to speak; and Fidelia could answer
firmly and smile brightly. For so deep was the peace and so sure the
trust of the dying, and so near the glory awaiting her, that no thought
of herself or her loss, or the lonely days that were before her, could
move her from the calm which had fallen upon her. All was peace with
her also.
Once, at the beginning of these last days, a word was spoken by Mrs
Stone.
"About Fidelia, Eunice? The time may come when she will long to know
what your wish would have been--have you ever said a word to her about--
Justin Everett?"
"No; I think there is nothing to be said. Yes, I know--afterwards she
would give heed to any word of mine. But it might not be the right
word. No; I can leave this, with all else that concerns her, in the
hands of a loving Father. He will guide her in this as in all things."
And so no care nor shadow of care came to darken these last days. Truly
her eyes said to them, when her lips could not utter the words: "I will
fear no evil, for Thou art with me." And, waiting and watching beside
her, Fidelia was for the time lifted above all fear or care or sorrow
for herself, and rejoiced in her sister's joy.
Thus quietly one summer morning she passed away. So quietly, they--
"Thought her dying when she slept,
And sleeping when she died."
They buried her beside her kinsfolk in the little graveyard of Halsey;
and her memory still lives in the hearts of her friends and neighbours
who knew and loved her so well.
Then, for a time, life and all its interests seemed to stand still for
Fidelia. She was weary and spent, and they left her alone to rest and
grow strong again. By-and-by, with no word of appeal or entreaty from
any one, she came back to her old ways, and tried to take up her work
again. It was not easy for her to do this, but it was easier than it
would have been had her loss come a year sooner.
"It is God's will that I should go first; and, dear, though you cannot
see it now, God's will in this, as in all things, is best," Eunice had
said to her many times; and she knew in her heart that it was true.
"And, oh, how much the best for my Eunice!" she said with many tears,
yet with submission also.
But her occupation was gone; and, though friends and neighbours did what
kind friends and neighbours may do at such a time, to cheer her, the
days passed slowly and heavily, till one night Jabez came up "to have a
little talk" with her. She had not seen much of him since her sister's
death. He had kept away, he told her, "because it hurt him dreadfully
to see her in trouble that he could not help." It cannot be said that
she had missed him much, but she was glad to see him when he came.
Jabez's "little talk" was about himself, and nothing could have been
farther from his thoughts than a desire to give a lesson to his teacher.
But she got her lesson all the same. They sat for awhile in the front
porch, which was bright with the glory of the sunset. Mrs Stone was
there as well as Fidelia, and they spoke about various matters at first;
and a few words were said about Eunice. When Mrs Stone rose to go
about some household duty, the others rose also, and went through the
house into the garden, and down the walk between the tall hollyhocks, to
the fence, where there was an opening between the apple-trees--a spot
where Fidelia always stood a minute or two whenever she came there.
They lingered for awhile in silence, looking down over the river flowing
softly between wide irregular meadows, and over to the broken hill
country beyond, beautiful now in the glow that fell on it from the west.
Something--perhaps it was the familiar voice of White Star coming
suddenly to her ear--brought back to Fidelia the remembrance of the time
when she stood there petting the pretty creature, the day after her
first return from the seminary--the day when Jabez came up to speak
about the garden. It came back so vividly that when Jabez began to
speak his first words were lost in the surprise which seized her when
she turned towards him.
What had happened to the lad since then? He was a boy no longer, for
one thing. As he stood there regarding her with grave eyes, speaking
quietly and earnestly, he was very different from the lad who had come
whistling up the field, with his hoe over his shoulder, to greet her
that day. A man? Well, hardly that yet; but with the promise of
manhood on his good and pleasant face, to which, though she was tall
herself, she had to look up now! A shadow passed over his face, and he
ceased speaking and looked away, as a smile, of which she was quite
unconscious, parted Fidelia's lips.
"I thought maybe you would like to hear about it," said he in a little,
without turning round.
"Of course I shall like to hear about it. Excuse me; I was thinking
about something else. You must begin again. Do you know, Jabez, that
you are changed lately. You are not a boy any longer; you are a man,
and I have only just found it out."
"A man! No, not quite; but I mean to be a man one of these days," said
Jabez gravely. "And I think now I can see my way."
"Well! Tell me all about it."
There was not much to tell, but it took some time to tell it. A letter
had come from an uncle of Jabez--his mother's only brother--written in
answer to one sent to him by Deacon Ainsworth, asking advice about the
future career of his grandson. The uncle was a minister, living in the
far West. He could do nothing for Jabez as to money, for he was a poor
man, but he believed that he could better help the lad to help himself,
in the part of the country where his home was, than could be done for
him in New England. His own son, he said, with but little help from any
one, had paid his way through college; and he did not doubt that Jabez,
if he were the bright boy his grandfather described him to be, could do
the same.
"And so," said he, "you had better send him on. This is a good country
for head-work and for handwork too--whichever he may prove himself best
fitted for--and we shall all be glad to see him when he comes."
"And," said Jabez gravely, "I think I'll go and have a try at it."
"But surely your grandfather might help you a little? And Amhurst or
Harvard is the right place for you, Jabez. Why do you wish to go so far
away?"
"About grandfather's help--no. If I go I suppose Cousin Calvin will
come and take my place, and have the farm by-and-by, which is all right.
And grandfather will pay my way out there, he says. And, as I expect
my life's work will be done out West, the preparation for it may as well
be done there too. There is a good chance out there, uncle says."
"Why should your life's work be done in the West? And what is it to
be?"
Jabez answered the last question first.
"Maybe you will think it presumptuous in me to talk of going in for the
highest work of all. But I talked with Miss Eunice about it, and she
said she was glad. If it hadn't been for Miss Eunice I shouldn't have
thought of it. `Entire consecration to the highest work of all.' That
was her idea, and it is mine."
There were tears in Fidelia's eyes, but there were smiles on her face as
well. She did not speak, however, and Jabez went on.
"I don't just know what I'm fit for yet, but I do know that I don't feel
like holding back; and the Master will see about the rest. He has all
kinds of work to be done in His world, and I will find something to do."
"Yes; and He has work to be done here in New England. Why are you so
glad to go away?"
"Oh, I am not glad to go away! But I am glad that I see my way to make
a beginning; and I mean to do my best. It may not be a great deal that
I can ever do, but the Lord will accept the best I have to give."
"Yes; I am not afraid for you."
"And about going West. A great country is being opened up there, and it
is being filled with all sorts of people in a wonderful way. New towns,
and even cities, are springing up everywhere; and my uncle says that
what this wide land needs for true greatness is that the light of the
glorious Gospel of the blessed God should shine through every corner of
it. I shall like uncle, I am sure," said Jabez.
"And you want to have a share in making the country great?"
"I want to do my part for my country and the world. It is God's work,
and there doesn't seem to be anything else worth doing in comparison
with this `holding forth the Word of Life,' as uncle calls it, does
there?"
Jabez spoke with eager voice and shining eyes, and Fidelia listened
amazed. And then she asked herself: "Why should she be amazed?"
It was true. Jabez was right and wise in his choice. What else was
there worth doing in comparison with the honour and blessedness of
having a part in this work?
"_And so far_," she said to herself, "I have neither part nor lot in the
matter." Her face grew grave as she stood looking away to the darkening
hills. Hitherto she had lived for herself and for Eunice. Now Eunice
was gone, what was she going to do with her life? What would Eunice
have liked her to do?
"Miss Fidelia," said Jabez in a little, "you'll be going back to the
seminary this fall, I suppose. It is a good place to go to, I guess.
And it would be lonesome here now."
"Yes, it would be lonesome here. Yes, I think I may go back again.
There seems to be nothing better to do than to go there. Eunice always
wished me to go."
But she spoke sadly, and evidently without much interest.
"You will like it when you are fairly there, and have begun at your
books again," said Jabez.
"Yes, I suppose so. It is best to go any way. Eunice wished it."
"I am glad of one thing--I shall be gone first," said Jabez.
"Shall you? When do you go?"
"Next week, if grandma can get my things ready. Time is precious."
"She must let us help her," said Fidelia; and then there was silence
between them. Fidelia was thinking of a letter which she had received a
day or two since, which must be answered soon. Miss Kent had written to
her, inviting her to visit her in Boston for as long a time as she could
stay. It was such a letter as it is good to write and to receive.
There were a few words of sympathy in her sorrow for her sister's loss,
and a few more as to the pleasant things to be done and seen and enjoyed
during the visit; but the best of it was the evident kindness and
sincerity of the writer in all she said.
Fidelia's desire to accept the invitation had been growing since the day
it came. She longed for a change of some sort, and she needed it. The
thought of the seminary and her books gave her very little pleasure.
"It is because you are tired," said Mrs Stone; but she did not, as it
was her first impulse to do, remind her that it had been her sister's
wish that the next year should be passed at the seminary. "She will
think of it herself by-and-by."
Fidelia thought of it now. "Time is precious," Jabez had said. Surely
time ought to be precious to her as well! She ought to go to the
seminary this year, if ever she meant to go; and, if so, there was no
time to lose.
And, besides, she knew on which side temptation lay for her. An easy,
pleasant life among people who knew no other kind of existence; a chance
to see and hear and enjoy the beautiful and wonderful things of which
she knew little, except from books, would be delightful; but would it be
good for her? Would it be a preparation for the work of which she and
Eunice used to talk and plan?--"the highest of all work," as Jabez had
called it, and "entire consecration to God's service."
"I must be a poor creature to have any other desire," she told herself.
In a little Jabez said--
"Miss Eunice said something to me once. She said it made her glad to
think that I might be permitted to do some of the work for the Lord
which she would have been so glad to do. Does it seem presumptuous in
me to say it, Fidelia? I would not say it to any one but you," said
Jabez humbly; "and I owe everything to Miss Eunice."
"And what do I not owe to my Eunice?" said Fidelia to herself. To Jabez
she said--"Yes, I know it made her last days happy to feel that perhaps
she had helped you a little. And we must both honour her memory by
trying to do in the world what she would have loved to do. I only
wish--"
Fidelia did not put her wish into words for Jabez's hearing. It was
growing dark, and Mrs Stone's white cap at the porch door had been more
than once visible as a reminder that the dew was beginning to fall; and
they knew it was time to go into the house.
But Jabez had one thing more to say, over which he hesitated a moment.
"Fidelia, I want to say one thing more, if I may. It was Miss Eunice
that made me think more about it, so I hope you won't be vexed. You
haven't any brother, and I haven't any sister. Suppose we--adopt one
another," said Jabez, with a laugh which had the sound of a sob in it.
"Miss Eunice told me more than once, that if ever the time came when I
saw you in trouble I must help you, if I had a chance, for her sake."
"Oh, my Eunice!" cried Fidelia; and she held out her hand to the lad.
And then, to her amazement, he stooped and touched it with his lips
before he took it in his own.
There were not many words spoken after that. This was their real
parting. They met several times before Jabez went away; but it was this
half-hour under the apple-trees that Fidelia always remembered, when the
thought of Jabez came back to her, with all the other memories of these
last days at home. For these were "last days."
Fidelia came back again when her year at the seminary was ended. Mrs
Stone was still in the old brown house, which in most respects looked
just as it had looked when she came home the first time, to find Eunice
waiting for her. It was good to see her old friend standing to welcome
her at the gate, but her old friend was not Eunice. And, though she
wondered that it should be so, and grieved over it, the house in which
the greater part of her life had been passed never seemed quite like
home again.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN.
FIDELIA'S PERPLEXITY.
This year in the seminary was far more profitable to Fidelia than the
former year had been. The work which she had done so faithfully at home
told now. She was not pressed or hurried by overwork in preparing for
her classes, and had time to take the good of other things besides
study.
Under the Christian influence lovingly and judiciously exercised over
them, not even the careless or unimpressionable among the pupils could
remain altogether untouched by some sense of their responsibility to the
Lord Jesus, or to the claims which He had on them to be workers together
with Him in the world which He came to save. Fidelia, with softened
heart and awakened conscience, was now open to that influence, and
yielded to it as she had not done before. There was no neglect or
misappropriation of the "quiet half-hour" morning and evening now, nor
of any other of the many means of grace provided for the benefit of all.
The scope and sense of all the teaching, as to duty, of the noble woman
through whose labours and self-denials the seminary was founded had
been--"Ye are not your own: ye are bought with a price; therefore
glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."
"No man liveth to himself." One of her last utterances to the pupils
whom she loved and for whom she laboured was this: "There is nothing in
the universe that I fear, but that I shall not know all my duty, or
shall fail to do it." She was dead, but her works and words still lived
and spoke through those who had come after her, and through them there
came richly to Fidelia the blessing which above all other blessings she
desired for herself--the wish and the power to consecrate her life to
the work which is the highest of all. So she came back to her home in a
different state of heart and mind this time--she herself did not know
how different till she was among old familiar friends and circumstances
again, looking over the past and on to the future with other hopes and
aspirations than those which had made her discontented about the time of
her last coming home.
It did not seem quite like home to her in Halsey any more. But she told
herself she would wait patiently and do faithfully the work which came
to her hand, till some opening should come to her of higher work in a
larger field as a teacher, and then she would strive to be such a
teacher as Eunice might have been in her youth, had not other work
fallen to her hand.
By-and-by something happened. A letter came to her from Dr Justin
Everett which surprised her. It was not the first time that he had
written to her. After the death of her sister he had written a letter
of sympathy which she had answered briefly. She had not answered other
letters which had followed, but this one must be answered. It was a
long letter, telling her something of his youth and of his engagement to
her sister, and of the disappointment and pain which their necessary
separation had caused to them both.
He said he had returned to Halsey two years ago, hoping to carry Eunice
back with him as his wife; but in her state of health they had both seen
this to be impossible. Then he went on to say how unconsciously at
first his heart had turned to the sister of the woman he had loved so
dearly in his youth, and how Eunice had not refused to sanction his
love, though she had utterly forbidden him to speak then or for some
time to come. "Has the time come now when I may speak? And will you
not listen to me?" That was the sum of what followed, though many words
were used in saying it; and it must be owned that Fidelia was moved by
them--for a time. If he had come himself it would have been a much more
troublesome matter. But her dream had passed, and so had the pain it
had caused her, though it took a little time to make her sure that it
was so. After reading her letter over again, she wrapped a shawl about
her, and went up the hill till she came to the turn of the road where
she had seen Dr Justin standing soothing his startled mare. She could
think of it all quietly enough now, and her calmness might have helped
her to the knowledge of what her answer ought to be. But she allowed
herself to ponder over it. It was a pleasant life that was set before
her. She might have a charming home, intellectual society, a chance to
improve herself, a chance also to do good to others. There would be the
happy mean--neither poverty nor riches, and a home of her own; and for a
time she was not aware how the possibility of taking all this into
consideration, and of weighing it all quietly, proved that she did not
care for Justin Everett as she ought to do before she answered him,
"Yes." There was the further question, though she scarcely dared to
pursue it. Was the man who could thus transfer his affections really
worthy of her trust? She shrank back when she thought of the past, as
if she were wronging her sister's memory.
"You are not worrying about anything, are you, Fidelia?" said Mrs Stone
at last.
"Worrying? No; I hope not. I don't think so. Why do you ask?"
"Was the big letter that Calvin brought you the other day from Dr
Justin Everett?"
"Yes, it was," answered Fidelia, with a touch of vexation in her voice.
"I wouldn't have asked only--"
"Oh, there is no harm done!" said Fidelia, laughing. "I hope not," said
Mrs Stone gravely. "I have been expecting it ever since you came here.
You mustn't think I want to meddle, dear. I want just to tell you
something that Eunice said to me. Oh, yes! She knew it might come some
time. But she would not say a word about it. She said that the Lord
would guide you right in this and in all other things. And so He will,
if you ask Him."
Mrs Stone gathered up her work, and rose to leave the room.
"Tell me about it, Aunt Ruby," said Fidelia gently.
There was not much to tell. For herself, Mrs Stone had not a word to
say. Even when Fidelia asked her advice, she replied quietly--
"It seems to me you ought to have known what answer to send to that
letter as soon as ever you read it." And then she went away, leaving
Fidelia to ponder her words. She came back to add another word,
however.
"Let your answer, whether it be Yes or No, be final. Don't let there be
any half-and-half doings--any waiting to find out what your real
feelings are. You ought to know this minute all you need to know. Say
it once for all."
That very day another letter came, not so long as the other, but it
brought help to Fidelia, in a way unexpected. This letter was from
"Ella Wainright." Fidelia knew that Miss Kent had married; but she did
not know that she had married a widower with children. The letter told
her this, and it told her also that the two little girls who had fallen
into her hands more than filled them. They had been spoiled all their
lives by two loving grandmothers and several aunts, all of whom had the
best intentions with regard to the motherless children.
"As for me," wrote Mrs Wainright, "I am to them the cruel or
indifferent stepmother of the story-books, and I should not have a
chance with them, even if I had any faculty with children, which I have
not. They are bright girls of nine and twelve. I might leave them in
school while I go to Europe with my husband, but that would not be good
for them nor right for me, and it would only be postponing, perhaps
increasing, the trouble. I know you mean to teach, and I have heard
from your friend Nelly Austin that you covet hard work; and here it is,
ready to your hand. You may name your salary. You will earn it,
whatever it is. We shall be in Europe two years at least, perhaps
longer. You will have a chance to see much that every one wishes to
see, and you can improve yourself in your music, and learn a language or
two; and you can help me to do the same. Do not decide against me till
you come over to Eastwood to see me." And so on.
Fidelia came into the room where Mrs Stone was sitting with her letter
in her hand.
"Aunt Ruby, listen, and tell me what I had better do." Then she read
the letter.
Mrs Stone listened, but she did not need to advise. She saw that,
though she was not aware of it herself, Fidelia had almost made up her
mind to go.
"I think I would go over to Eastwood and see Mrs Wainright, and talk it
over with her." And she would have liked to add--"You may as well write
your letter to Dr Justin before you go," but she did not. "It is all
right, I guess; and I, for one, am glad of it."
Fidelia went to Eastwood. If she had been inclined to hesitate over her
decision, she could hardly have done so. Mrs Wainright took possession
of her at once.
"If it is a chance to do good that you desire, it is the very place for
you, for the children need you sorely." And Miss Abby Chase, who had
seen the children, said the same. Mrs Austin wished her to go because
of Mrs Wainright, who was not strong, and who did not seem to have a
chance with the children; and Nellie enlarged upon the delights of
travel, and the opportunities for self-improvement which she would
enjoy. There was, besides, little time for hesitation. Within ten days
they were to sail. So Fidelia went home and wrote her letter to Dr
Justin, and set her house in order, and was ready to depart.
"Halsey will always be your home while you own this place, and so you
must keep it," said Mrs Stone. "I don't know a more forlorn feeling
than for such a home-bird as you have always been than to find herself
without a nest. We talked it all over, Eunice and I. I'd as lief live
in your house as in my own, and I will pay you rent. It's paid already
in a way. Eunice had a little change of investment to make, under Dr
Everett's advice, about the time I came here, and I put something with
what she had in your name--just about enough to make the interest pay
rent for your house and land. I'll keep up the place as well as I know
how; the rent may be put with the rest while you don't want, and it will
be handy when you do. I thought it would be better to fix it so than to
put you in my will, because of Ezra's folks. No; there is nothing to be
said. Eunice knew all about it; and you can just think of me as keeping
house for you till you come home."
Fidelia did not say much, but she said just the right thing in the right
way when the time came. It was the night before she left.
"Aunt Ruby, let us go down to the graveyard now. We can go by the old
road, where we shall not likely to meet any one, and come home by
moonlight."
So together they stood beside the grave of Eunice, and spoke lovingly
and thankfully of her, and prayed in silence for each other. And there
was no bitterness in Fidelia's tears, though they came in a flood as she
turned away. For it was well with Eunice, and she knew they would meet
again. She turned back when she had gone a little way toward the gate,
and, kneeling once more, kissed the dear name carved on the stone, and
prayed with all her heart that by God's grace she might be kept
unspotted from the world, till the time came when she should meet her
sister again.
And so Fidelia left her home--sad, but hopeful.
One untoward event happened before she set sail. She had to meet Dr
Justin face-to-face, and give him his answer. She was not many minutes
in his company, but they were full of pain to her.
Strangely enough, she caught her first glimpse of him from a window, as
she had done that day in Eastwood from Miss Abby's room; and, more
strangely still, he was walking as he had been walking that day, by Miss
Avery's side, looking down upon her, while she, with smiles and pretty
eager gestures, looked up at him. For a minute Fidelia was not sure of
the nature of the feelings which the sight awoke within her; but she was
quite sure of one thing--she did not intend to break her engagement to
go with her friend and schoolmate, Mary Holbrook, to Cambridge, to see
at least the outside of the poet's house before she went away. She
listened till she heard them enter the house; and, when she knew them to
be safe in the parlour, she went softly downstairs and out into the
street; and, though she felt a little ashamed of herself for running
away, she laughed heartily as she hastened on. She enjoyed every minute
of the day, she told Mrs Wainright when--rather late in the evening--
she came home. She had seen, not only the outside of the poet's house,
but also, through the kindness of a friend of Miss Holbrook, the inside
of it, and Mr Longfellow himself as well; and the day was a day to be
remembered for many reasons.
She saw Dr Justin in the morning, however, though she hoped she need
not. There was not time for many words between them; but Fidelia's
words were spoken with sufficient decision. Dr Justin had not received
her letter. He had heard from his niece Susie that her friend was going
away, and he hastened to see her before her departure. He asked for
nothing that would make it necessary for her to break her engagement
with Mrs Wainright. He only asked her promise to return at the end of
the year, and give him her answer then. But she refused to make the
promise, or even to correspond with him while she was away.
"I have spoken too soon; I will wait and come again," said he.
"You will not be wise to wait or to come again," said Fidelia gravely.
He came to the steamer with other friends of the Wainrights to see the
last of them. Miss Avery was there among the rest; and, as Fidelia
watched them moving away together, she said to herself, that the chances
were few that Dr Justin would either wait or return to her again.
And so it proved. Before the first year of her absence was quite over
there came to Mrs Wainright a letter from her cousin, telling her of
her engagement to Dr Justin Everett, and trusting that they might meet
them in Europe before many months.
"And so _that_ is well over," said Fidelia.
Fidelia's desire for real work by which she might do some good in the
world was granted during the next three years, and besides her work she
had both pleasure and profit; and little more than this can be told of
the time she spent away from her home, on the other side of the sea.
Her pupils respected her always, and by-and-by they loved her dearly;
and her influence over them was altogether good and happy to body, mind,
and spirit. And as much as that can be said as regarded her influence
over their mother also. During a long and tedious illness, which came
upon Mrs Wainright in Switzerland, Fidelia nursed and comforted her as
she could not have done had there not been mutual respect as well as
love between them; and to both mother and daughters her influence and
example was a source of blessing which did not cease when the time came
that they were called to separate.
This time came when they returned to America, for on going home to
Halsey Fidelia found Mrs Stone--not ill, but ailing; and she made up
her mind that it was her duty to remain with her old friend during the
winter. Her pupils were to be sent to school, and needed her no longer.
Their mother needed her very much, or she thought she did, and
entreated her to return. But, even if Fidelia had not thought it her
duty to remain with Mrs Stone, she would have hesitated about
returning, for she had not been long in Halsey before she made a
discovery which surprised her, and which made her ashamed.
After the first joy of welcome from old friends, and the first glad
renewal of old associations well over, she could not but own to herself
that she did not find life in Halsey altogether to her mind. This was
not her discovery. She had hardly expected to find it so. She had had
some such thought before she left it. Her surprise was, to find that
she missed--even greatly missed--the pleasant things which she had
become accustomed to during the last three years--the new books, the
music, the sight and touch of rare and beautiful things; all the
luxuries and the ease-giving which wealth dispensed judiciously,
sometimes lavishly, had secured to her friend's household, and to her
with the rest. She missed the movement and the change made by the
coming and going of the many friends of the household--not merely the
ordinary friends and neighbours, but people of whom the world had
heard--men and women whom it was good to see and know.
The life had suited her. It was not surprising that she should regret
many things which she had enjoyed while with the Wainrights. Was it
wrong to regret them? She might enjoy them all again in somewhat
different circumstances. Would it be right and wise for her to return
at the entreaty of her friend?
"I must settle the question once for all," she said to herself. And she
did settle it; and with it she settled another question which went
farther and deeper. "Ye are not your own; ye are bought with a price:
therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are
God's." Would a chance to lead an easy, pleasant, even useful life in
the house of her friend cover for her all the ground which this command
covered? She did not need a long time to consider the answer. The past
she did not regret. It was well that she had gone with Mrs Wainright.
She knew that she had helped the mother and the children to a better
knowledge of each other, and she trusted also that she had done
something towards encouraging in them a desire for a higher knowledge--
the knowledge which God alone can give. She was glad in looking back;
but could she look forward and see that she had any special work for
these young people which their mother might not do better than she did?
And might she not be taking out of the mother's hands work the doing of
which would be for her good as well as for theirs?
And then as to herself. Was "an easy time," with only light duties--
which could hardly be called work in any right sense, amid the luxury
which she had learned to like so well that now she missed it--was this
what she ought to accept for herself as the best and highest? Did she
owe no more than this to Him Who had bought her with a price? She was,
in a sense, quite alone, and at her own disposal, free from all ties of
relationship or friendship, such as might interfere with any work to
which she gave herself. She could teach. That had been her plan
always, and her sister's plan for her, because teaching undertaken and
pursued in a right spirit might be made a part of the highest work of
all. This Eunice had coveted for her; she had coveted it for herself.
Yes; the faithful doing of such work might be made work for the Master.
Had she lost her desire to have a part in this work? she asked herself.
Had her easy life among the pleasant things of the last few years done
her this evil? She had many thoughts about it, and, after a time, she
had some talk with Mrs Stone about it also.
"No; I don't think you are spoiled. Your life could not have been a
very easy one. Anyway, it hasn't spoiled you. You had good work to do
over there and you did it pretty well, I expect, or they wouldn't want
you back again. In one way it has helped you. Yes, I think you could
now do good work in a better way for the advantages you have had, and
you are bound to do it. If you don't, your privileges may become a
snare to you, and you may get to be satisfied with a kind of work lower
than the highest you are capable of. `No man liveth to himself,' you
must remember."
"And the highest work I seem to be capable of, is to teach."
"There is no higher work, if it is done in the right spirit. And it is
the work you have prepared yourself for. If you are better fitted for
other work, you'll have a chance to try it. It seems to be your work in
the meantime. You may marry."
Fidelia shook her head.
"I am not sure about other work. I know I can teach."
And so for the next few years she did teach. In one of those large
seminaries which the Christian beneficence of many wise men of moderate
means, with the help of a few rich men, has established for the higher
education of the young women of the country, Fidelia found her work.
She was one of many who there worked willingly and well, in a field
where good and willing work rarely fails to give a full return.
It would take a long chapter to give even a glimpse of her experiences
during those years. She was not without her troubles and anxieties, but
on the whole they were happy years. For to be successful in good work
which one loves, and which one can do well, comes as near to true
happiness as most people ever come in this world. Day by day, as time
went on, she was permitted to see the springing up of some "plant of
grace" from the seed which she had sown; and she had good cause to hope
that there were more to follow, for such plants do not die out, but
increase, and bear fruit abundantly as the years go by. Once in a
while, but not often, she paused amid her work, to ask herself whether
she would be quite content in it all her life long. It was a question
which did not need an answer, as she was quite satisfied with the
present; and the future, she believed, would be guided and guarded by
the Hand of love which had led her during the past.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN.
THANKSGIVING.
Fidelia had not lost sight of her friends during these years in the
seminary. A few weeks of every summer were given to Mrs Stone and her
Halsey friends, and as many to Mrs Wainright and her daughters, either
in their own home, or at the seaside, or among the mountains, wherever
they chanced to be passing the summer. The change and the happy renewal
of old associations did her good, and kept her interested in other
matters than those which concerned her daily life and duties. Her
friends did not allow her to forget them. Even Mrs Stone wrote
frequently to her, though the writing of a letter cost her more labour
than a day's housework did. One or other of Dr Everett's family wrote
now and then, and so did the Austins. With Mrs Wainright the
correspondence was constant.
"Come home to Thanksgiving," wrote that lady soon after the work of
Fidelia's fourth year in the seminary had commenced. She had written
the same thing every year, but Fidelia had never been able to accept the
invitation. This year she had a great desire to accept it, for various
reasons; so, though the journey was long, and the time she could give
for the visit was short, she found herself in her friend's house on the
eve of Thanksgiving Day; and among the many thousands who, throughout
the land, had that day turned their faces homeward, few could have been
welcomed more kindly than she.
Thanksgiving Day was kept in the town of C--much as it is kept
everywhere throughout the country, in which there is so much over which
a thankful people may rejoice. Everybody, except the anxious
housekeepers who had dinner on their minds, was expected to go to church
in the early part of the day, and join in thanksgiving with their
neighbours. The Wainrights all went, and so did Fidelia. There were
many people present. The service was simple and devout; the sermon was
appropriate; and all things went as usual till it came to the singing of
the thanksgiving anthem, and that went better than usual, because
Fidelia joined in it, and put all her glad and thankful heart into her
wonderful voice as she sang.
She even sang the "solo" which Mrs Wainright was expected to sing. But
a whispered entreaty from her friend, which there was time neither to
answer nor to refuse, gave the honour to Fidelia. Clear and full and
sweet rose her voice, and filled the house, thrilling and satisfying all
the listening hearts and ears with the melody, till the saintly old
souls among them asked themselves whether even the heavenly music could
be sweeter.
Some one sitting near the door rose when the other voices came in again,
and walked up the aisle till he came to a point where, looking up, the
choir in the gallery could be seen. There he stood till the anthem was
ended, and then moved quietly away. He was a stranger, and no one took
much notice of him at the moment, though some among them remembered him
afterwards. Lucy Wainright noticed him, and spoke of it when she came
home.
"It must have been some stranger. No one of our people would have done
such a thing," said she.
"It must have been that he wanted to see where the voice came from,"
said her sister.
"I do not wonder," said their father. "Miss Marsh, how came you to take
the place of honour to-day?"
"I don't know," said Fidelia.
Mrs Wainright laughed.
"I don't know either. I did not think of it a second before I spoke.
It was a risk, I acknowledge--or it would have been with any one but
Fidelia."
"A risk! It might have caused a breakdown. She might have refused."
"No; I was sure of Fidelia!"
And while they went on talking the door-bell rang, and the maid brought
in a card and gave it to Mrs Wainright.
"A stranger? Did he ask for me? I do not know the name. Jabez
Ainsworth!"
Fidelia uttered an exclamation, holding out her hand for the card.
"I know him well. He is one of my oldest friends, though I have not
seen him for years. Shall I go and see him?"
"Do go," said Mr Wainright; "and, if he is a friend of yours, ask him
to stay to eat his Thanksgiving dinner with us. He will have something
to be thankful for when he sees you, I should say."
"Of course--ask him to stay. And don't be long about it, for dinner is
ready."
So Fidelia went in quickly, with both hands stretched out in eager
welcome to the friend whom she had not seen for so many years.
"Can it be Jabez?" she said softly, pausing before she came near.
"I need not ask if it can be Fidelia. You haven't changed, except to
grow a little like your sister."
"Ah, my Eunice!"
Was it the dear name that brought the tears to Fidelia's eyes, and the
memory of so many sad and happy days? She could not hide them except by
turning her face away, for Jabez held her hands firmly in his, and her
smiles came quickly as she looked up at him.
"You are a happy woman, Fidelia. Your face tells me that before a word
is spoken."
"Happy! Yes; and so glad to see you. How can it have happened that we
have never met all these long years--never once since you left Halsey?"
"I have only been once in Halsey since I left it, and then you were on
the other side of the sea, where I have been since."
They ought to have had much to say to each other after so long a time,
but there was not much said for awhile. Fidelia looked on the face and
listened to the voice at once so strange and so familiar, saying to
herself how changed he was--and yet he seemed the same. He was a large
man now, dark and strong, not at all in these respects like the slender
sallow boy who had loitered about the garden in Halsey. But it was
Jabez all the same. He was very grave and silent for a time, and walked
up and down the room once or twice, pausing at the window which looked
out upon the street, as though he had something to consider or to
conquer before he could either listen or speak. After a little he came
and sat down beside her.
"Well, Fidelia, you are a happy woman. You have lived through your
troubles, and have come safely to the other side, thank God!"
"But, Jabez, it does not seem like trouble to look back upon it now.
Only think of my Eunice safe and blessed all these years. Why, I have
not shed a tear for a long time--in sorrow!"
She might well add the word, for there were tears in her eyes and on her
cheeks while she spoke; but there were smiles on her face as well, which
made Jabez say--
"I thank God that you are happy now."
There was no time for more. The door opened and Mrs Wainright entered,
followed by her husband. She did not need an introduction.
"I am glad to see you, Mr Ainsworth, and sorry to interrupt you so
soon, but dinner is ready, and there will be time to visit afterwards."
Then she introduced her husband, whose welcome, though quiet, was
sufficiently cordial. Then he said:
"I hope you have no other Thanksgiving dinner in view, for I think ours
is to be a good one; and we are very happy to see you."
"I supposed that I was to spend Thanksgiving in Halsey, but a mistake as
to connection, and then a breakdown on the road, left me here for the
day. I shall be glad to give thanks with you, and with--Fidelia."
"I am sorry for your grandmother," said Fidelia.
"You need not be sorry. My visit was to be a surprise to them. It must
wait till next summer now. I am going West again."
"Well, we will go to dinner now," said Mr Wainright, offering his arm
to his wife. "Miss Marsh, you must show Mr Ainsworth the way."
"Miss Marsh?" said Jabez, turning astonished eyes upon her, as the
others passed out at the door.
"Why, who did you suppose me to be?" said Fidelia, laughing.
"I--I don't know. I asked the door-keeper at the church who was the
singer to-day, and he said it was Mrs Wainright. But I am very glad he
was mistaken."
"I sang to-day--"
"You cannot imagine how strange it was--how wonderful. I had been
thinking about you all the morning--never supposing that you were within
hundreds of miles of me--and I heard your voice, Fidelia," he added,
taking both her hands in his. "It is Thanksgiving Day indeed with me
to-day."
"And with me too," it was on Fidelia's lips to say, but she only said it
in her heart. The joy that shone in her friend's eyes kept her silent,
though why it should do so she could hardly have told.
They went very soberly into the dining-room, where a few friends besides
the family were assembled. Fidelia sat between the two girls as usual,
and Lucy whispered that her friend was the stranger who walked up the
aisle, and that it must have been to to see where the voice came from,
as Lena had said.
And Lena said: "How tall he is, and how strong! He is not the least
like the lanky boy about whom you used to tell us funny stories."
Fidelia laughed and said softly, "Yes, he has changed--almost as much as
the little girls to whom the stories were told. It is a long time ago,
you must remember."
Mr Wainright was not mistaken. The dinner was a very good one, and
passed off, as all Mrs Wainright's dinners did, quite successfully. So
did the evening with music and pleasant talk, and all else that was
required for success. But it is not to be supposed that all this was
quite satisfactory to Fidelia and her friend.
"There were so many things I wanted to hear about," said Mr Ainsworth.
"And I too," said Fidelia.
"I shall see you in the morning before I leave, if possible," said he.
He came in the morning, and he stayed all day.
He could, by travelling all night, get to M--in time to meet an
engagement on Monday. He should have had to do so if he had gone to
Halsey.
He had something to tell and much to hear. He had, he thought, a right
to say that he had been fairly successful as a student. He had had to
help himself, and had done so in various ways, but not more than was
right, or than had been good for him. His last two years had been spent
in Germany. He had gone there in charge of two lads, sons of a German
merchant in the West. Of course he had availed himself of the
opportunity to go on with his own studies at the university, and now he
was going West to find his work.
It was a very poor sort of work in the opinion of Mr Wainright, who,
coming in at the moment, heard him say that the next few months were to
be spent in travelling through some of the newer states in the service
of one of the great missionary societies, with a view to the
encouragement and aid of weak Churches, and the establishment of new
ones, in the small settlements springing up everywhere.
"It will be hard work," said Mrs Wainright. "And do you really suppose
it will pay? Don't you think that all that sort of thing might be
safely left to the people themselves?"
"It seems to be the work laid out for me just now," said Jabez, not
caring to get into any discussion of the question.
"You might do far better work in an older community. It is the majority
of the dwellers in our great cities which need most the civilising--or,
if you like it better, the Christianising--influence which strong and
good men can exercise in a community. It is from our great cities that
power for good or for evil is sent out over all the land, in ways of
which I need not tell you. If you have the will and the power to work
for your fellow-men, it is not to these remote and sparsely-settled
parts of the country that you should go. You are needed more where
crowds would gather to hear you."
But Mr Ainsworth shook his head.
"I have the will to work, and I trust, by God's grace, to have also the
power. But I think I am best fitted for such work as is needed out in
our newer settlements. It will be hard work, perhaps, but it will be
work, direct and simple, for the good of men and the glory of God. I
don't think I am so made and fashioned as to be likely to be very useful
among such men as fill our great cities."
"There are all sorts of men in our great cities; and you can hardly tell
what sort of work you are good for yet, till you try."
"And as to the importance of my work out there--it would be a good work,
wouldn't it, to help to educate and influence some of the boys who come
from country places to make the business men and the professional men of
the great cities? Yes, and our senators and the governors of our
states. You must know several country boys who have come to that."
"I know several certainly; and you may be right. We have a great
country out there, which is getting filled up in a wonderful way with
all sorts of people. God knows, some strong influence for good is
needed among them."
"Yes, that is our hope--God knows," said Mr Ainsworth gravely.
This was the beginning of a long conversation, during which each man
surprised the other, and each learned something from the other which
bore fruit in the life of both in after years.
East and West, North and South, the past, the present, and the future of
all sections of the country--all "the burning questions" of the day were
discussed. Fidelia listened with shining eyes and changing colour, and
dropped a strong word in now and then; and all the time she was saying
to herself--
"To think that Jabez should have grown to be just the best sort of man!
And what a life lies before him! I wonder if my Eunice knows?"
And Jabez, seeing her softened glance, knew as well as if she had spoken
her name that it was of her sister that she thought.
It rained all the morning, so that there was nothing said about showing
the town and the surrounding country to the visitor; and there was all
the more time for the talk which seemed to interest them all. The rain
ceased, and the sky cleared a little in the afternoon, and a walk was
proposed. Mr Ainsworth rose at once and looked at Miss Marsh.
"I shall be glad to take a walk," said she. "I have heard so much talk
to-day that I need to rest my mind by tiring my body. Come, Lucy and
Lena, get your wrappers and let us go. Will you come with us, Mrs
Wainright?"
"No, I think not; and I am not sure about its being best for the girls
to go. Had they better, Fidelia?"
"Because of the dampness? It will do Lucy no harm. Lena, perhaps, had
better not go."
"Oh, if one goes, they may both go! I guess the damp won't hurt them,"
said Mrs Wainright. And to her husband she said--"And if he has
anything to say to her, I guess he'll find a chance to say it."
Apparently Mr Ainsworth had nothing particular to say--at least nothing
which Lucy and Lena might not hear, for they all walked on together till
they came to the church. It was a new and fine church, and visitors in
C--were often taken to see and to admire it; so when Mr Ainsworth
proposed that they should go into it, the girls at once set off to get
the keys. They returned almost immediately, and with them came a
gentleman who told Mr Ainsworth, after he had been introduced, that he
knew more about the church than any one in C--, and could give them the
history of every nail and stone, window and door. He did not quite do
that, but he gave them many interesting particulars as to construction
and cost, and the special advantages of the building generally over all
the other churches in the town, or, in fact, any other town. Mr
Ainsworth listened and kept silence in a way which won the respect of
the pleased narrator, who probably was not always so fortunate in his
listeners. He got through at last, or had another engagement and went
away; and then Jabez said softly--
"Miss Fidelia, do you know why I wanted to come in here? I want to hear
you sing again, `For His merciful kindness is great toward us, and the
truth of the Lord endureth for ever.'"
"Of course I will sing it. But I might have done that at home, and
saved you the deacon's lecture on architecture. Oh, I must go up into
the gallery, must I?"
"Yes; and I will stand here, where I first caught sight of your face."
So Fidelia went up and sang with a glad heart, not the solo only, but
the whole Thanksgiving anthem, the two girls doing their best to help.
They did not linger long after that; and when they had left the church,
and the girls had gone to carry back the key, Jabez said gravely--
"I shall have that always to think about, till I see you again."
"And I hope that will not be so very long this time," said Fidelia.
It was not very long. They met the next summer in Halsey. There he
found her one summer morning standing in the garden, at the opening
under the apple-trees, looking down on the river and the meadows and the
hills beyond, thinking of many things. There he found courage to say to
her all that was in his heart.
Not at that first meeting, however; though even then it would not have
surprised her or found her unready with her answer. For they had
written to one another constantly since their first meeting at that glad
Thanksgiving time; and Fidelia knew all that letters frequent and long
could tell her about the work which he had found ready for hand, head,
and heart in the far West. Now he had more to tell her. He had been
called by the Church in M--, in the state of W--, to be their pastor,
and he had accepted the call.
There were just fifteen members in the Church, but they were all New
England men and women, of the right sort. M--was only a small place as
yet, but the prospects were fair that it would be a city within twenty
years. It would one day be a great commercial centre for a grand
stretch of country; and the faithful fifteen who had made their home
there meant that, in so far as it should be in their power to make it
so, it should be a centre of influence for good in the state, and in the
whole great country; and their pastor elect meant no less than that
also. And when he had got thus far, he said gravely--
"Fidelia, will you come with me, and help in this great work?"
And Fidelia put her hand in his and said quietly--"Jabez, I shall be
glad to go." And let the wise men of this world, and the rich men and
the mighty, say what they will, there is no greater or grander work to
be done under the sun than the work which these two, standing under the
apple-trees, agreed to help one another to do. There is no work whose
success can avail so much for the happiness of the individual soul, for
the household, or for the community, and there is none whose success can
bring such wealth and honour and stability to the nation, as that
through which the hearts of men are taught to believe and know, and the
eyes of men are enlightened to see, that it is "righteousness which
exalteth a nation," and that "sin is a reproach to any people."
"Fidelia," said Jabez in a little, "do you suppose that Eunice knows?"
And Fidelia answered softly,--"If she knows, I am pure she is glad."
Before the summer was quite over these two happy people went West to
begin their work together. A good many years have passed since then.
The place in which "the faithful fifteen" set up the standard is a great
city now. They, and those who have joined themselves to them since
then, have kept the promise made in these early days to their Lord and
to each other. And He who said, "Them that honour Me I will honour,"
has kept His promise to them.
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Eunice, by Margaret Murray Robertson
*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EUNICE ***
***** This file should be named 38196.txt or 38196.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/1/9/38196/
Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England
Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.
Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.
*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
http://gutenberg.org/license).
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works. See paragraph 1.E below.
1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the
collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an
individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in
a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check
the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning
the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
States.
1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
copied or distributed:
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
1.E.9.
1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked
to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg-tm License.
1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or
distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
that
- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is
owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments
must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License. You must require such a user to return or
destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
Project Gutenberg-tm works.
- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
of receipt of the work.
- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the
Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
1.F.
1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
your equipment.
1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.
1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with
the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy
is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
opportunities to fix the problem.
1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any
provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists
because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
people in all walks of life.
Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
Foundation
The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at
809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact
information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
page at http://pglaf.org
For additional contact information:
Dr. Gregory B. Newby
Chief Executive and Director
gbnewby@pglaf.org
Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation
Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.
The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To
SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
particular state visit http://pglaf.org
While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.
Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
http://www.gutenberg.org
This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
|