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diff --git a/38149-8.txt b/38149-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6228b0a --- /dev/null +++ b/38149-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1652 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's +Letters., by Anonymous + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's Letters. + The Graces (1774), The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette (1776) + +Author: Anonymous + +Editor: Sidney L. Gulick + +Release Date: November 27, 2011 [EBook #38149] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO BURLESQUES OF LORD *** + + + + +Produced by Tor Martin Kristiansen, Margo Romberg, Joseph +Cooper and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + + TWO BURLESQUES OF + LORD CHESTERFIELD'S LETTERS + THE GRACES (1774) + THE FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE (1776) + + Edited, with an Introduction, by + Sidney L. Gulick + + Publication Number 81 + + William Andrews Clark Memorial Library + University of California + Los Angeles + 1960 + + + + + GENERAL EDITORS + + Richard C. Boys, _University of Michigan_ + Ralph Cohen, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Lawrence Clark Powell, _Clark Memorial Library_ + + + ASSISTANT EDITOR + + W. Earl Britton, _University of Michigan_ + + + ADVISORY EDITORS + + Emmett L. Avery, _State College of Washington_ + Benjamin Boyce, _Duke University_ + Louis Bredvold, _University of Michigan_ + John Butt, _King's College, University of Durham_ + James L. Clifford, _Columbia University_ + Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_ + Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_ + Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_ + Ernest C. Mossner, _University of Texas_ + James Sutherland, _University College, London_ + H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., _University of California, Los Angeles_ + + + CORRESPONDING SECRETARY + + Edna C. Davis, _Clark Memorial Library_ + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +Even though the disasters which overtook John Stubbs and William Prynne +in the days of Elizabeth and Charles I no longer faced the pamphleteer, +the eighteenth century saw many an anonymous publication, for while +hands and ears were less in jeopardy, author and publisher might well +suffer imprisonment, as William Cooley and the printer of the Daily Post +learned in the winter of 1740-41, and John Wilkes in the 1760's. One can +understand why, despite the absence of personal danger, a public figure +like Lord Chesterfield should yet conceal his connection with a piece on +the Hanoverian troops, or why Horace Walpole might often not put his +name to an item listed in his Short Notes of his life or young Boswell +to his communications to the press. Indeed, many an innocuous writing +appeared anonymously, for the bashful author, protected against the +miseries of conspicuous failure, could always shyly acknowledge a +successful production. Later, perchance, it could appear in his +collected works. + +The two pieces here reprinted, typical verse pamphlets of the 1770's, +illustrate both a type of writing and an age. The subject of both is +contemporary--the best-selling _Letters to his Son_ of Lord +Chesterfield. The method falls between burlesque and caricature; the aim +is amusement; the substance is negligible. Neither poem made more than a +ripple on publication, neither initiated a critical fashion, and neither +survived in its own right, yet each has merit enough to justify +inclusion today in such a series as the Augustan reprints. + + * * * * * + +Chesterfield's _Letters to his Son_, the subject of these two +burlesques, were announced as published on April 7, 1774, scarcely a +year after his death; that they became an immediate best seller, every +schoolboy knows. Reaction to the letters took several modes of +expression. These included comments in conversation by Dr. Johnson and +by George III, as reported by Boswell and by Fanny Burney; in letters, +from Walpole, Mrs. Delaney, Voltaire, and Mrs. Montagu; and in diaries, +such as those of Fanny Burney and John Wesley. Reviewers sprang to words +if not into action. Entire books came to the defence of morality. A +sermon announced "The Unalterable Nature of Vice and Virtue" (a second +edition placed Virtue before Vice); the _Monthly Review_ for December +1775 praised it: "This sensible and well written discourse is chiefly +directed against the letters of the late Lord Chesterfield, though his +Lordship is not mentioned." All of these approached the subject +directly. Indirect reactions included an ironic _Apology for Mrs. +Stanhope_ (the son's widow, who had sold the letters to James Dodsley +the publisher for £1575 and was represented as the editor), two novels +showing the pernicious effects of the Chesterfieldean "system"--_The +Pupil of Pleasure_, by Courtney Melmoth (Samuel Jackson Pratt), and _The +Two Mentors_, by Clara Reeve--and a parody by Horace Walpole of the +first three letters (published years later in his _Works_). The +_Westminster Magazine_ carried a "Petition of the Women of Pleasure" and +the _London Chronicle_ a farcical skit on Lord Chesterfield's refined +manners.[1] In a play called _The Cozeners_, Samuel Foote took advantage +of current interest in Chesterfield to ridicule the graces. Not the +least interesting examples of the indirect reaction to the _Letters_ are +the two verse caricatures or burlesques here reprinted. + + * * * * * + +The earlier of the two poems, _The Graces_, bears the date 1774 on the +title page. A second edition of 1775 at first glance appears to be a +reissue with new title page, but minor changes and the straightedge test +are evidence of resetting. The authorship was soon known: _The London +Chronicle_ for February 16-18, quoting 88 lines of the total 170 and +working from the first edition, mentioned that the piece was written by +Mr. Woty, but so far as bibliography was concerned this attribution +remained hidden until recently, for Woty's obituary in the _Gentleman's +Magazine_ for March 1791 omitted mention of _The Graces_, as did the +_DNB_ and its additional sources, John Nichols' _Leicestershire_ and +David Erskine Baker's _Biographia Dramatica_ (1812 ed.).[2] That Woty +did indeed write _The Graces_ one may assume from his including it in +1780, with minor changes, in _Poems on Several Occasions_. He too used +the first edition. + +Of William Woty's life little need be said; the _DNB_, relying +essentially on the _Gentleman's Magazine_, gives the salient events: +after preparing to enter the law, he became companion and a kind of +legal secretary to Washington, Earl Ferrers, who prior to his death in +1778 made Woty independent by establishing an annuity of £150 for him. +His first book of verse was _The Sporting Club_, 1758; the next, _The +Shrubs of Parnassus_, by "James Copywell," he published in 1760. Two +others, which he acknowledged, followed in the next three years; then in +1763 he joined Francis Fawkes in editing _The Poetical Calendar_, in 12 +volumes, to which Samuel Johnson contributed a character sketch of +William Collins (Boswell's _Life_, ed. Hill-Powell, I, 382). In 1770, +Woty issued a two-volume _Poetical Works_. The _Gentleman's Magazine_, +mentioning four other publications from 1770 to 1775, adds, "and some +other miscellaneous pieces since that time." These, possibly unnamed +because published outside of London, included _Poems on Several +Occasions_, Derby, 1780 (in which, as noted above, he reprinted _The +Graces_), _Fugitive and Original Poems_, Derby, 1786, and _Poetical +Amusements_, Nottingham, 1789. "Mr. W. was a true _bon vivant_," the +notice continues, "but by a too great indulgence of his passion for +conviviality and society he unfortunately injured his constitution." He +died in March 1791, "aged about 60." + +Woty seems to have been on the periphery of Samuel Johnson's list of +acquaintances. Under what circumstances Johnson agreed to write the +sketch of Collins for the _Poetical Calendar_, Boswell does not +specify--whether for Woty or for Fawkes or for J. Coote, the +publisher--but write it he did. The index to the Hill-Powell Boswell +lists Woty (and Fawkes) only in this connection, but someone had +sufficient interest with the lexicographer to induce him to subscribe to +Woty's anonymous _Shrubs of Parnassus_, 1760; the subscription list of +some 500 names includes not only Samuel Johnson, A.M., but David +Garrick, Mr. William Mason, Dr. Smollett, Mr. Strahan, and Mr. Newbery, +of St. Paul's Church Yard, who bought 6 books--not unnaturally, for he +was the publisher. A decade later, the subscribers to _The Poetical +Works of William Woty_ included James Boswell, Esq., George Colman, +Esq., Mr. Garrick, Dr. Johnson, and this time for but one set, Mr. +Newbery. After still another decade, when Woty published in Derby his +_Poems on Several Occasions_, the list of subscribers included none of +these names, even though this collection included _The Graces_, with its +dozen lines on Samuel Johnson (now omitting from page 11 the couplet on +Bute) which reveal no degree of intimacy, but do show respect and +admiration for him. + + * * * * * + +_The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette; or, Lord Chesterfield's Advice to his +Son, versified, By a Lady_, is both longer and later than _The Graces_; +unlike that poem, it remains anonymous. The lady versifier, though +somewhat repetitious in her matter (her defence would of course be that +she followed her source), cannot be accused of incompetence in her +prosody. Of the 366 lines, she has precious few which scan roughly or +rhyme inaccurately; those few come within legitimate poetic license--on +the whole, a slightly smoother versification than in Goldsmith's then +popular "Retaliation," dashed off in response to a jest at The Club but +not published until shortly after his death in 1774. Alike in verse +form, the two poems differ significantly in ideas and style; there the +discrepancy justifies the different fates of the two. In the poem here +reprinted, the only passage deserving individual comment is the anecdote +of Philip and the blanc mange (see pages 13 and 14). Lord Charlemont, in +the course of answering a query from Lord Bruce about young Stanhope's +character, recounts the incident, having had it from an eyewitness: the +food was baked gooseberries and whipped cream, and the Earl's comment, +"John, why do you not fetch the strop and the razors? you see your +master is going to shave himself" (_Charlemont MSS_., I, 327-328). + +The reviewers did little for _The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette_; most +ignored the pamphlet. _The Monthly Miscellany_ for June 1776 provided a +few kindly lines: "This didactic rhapsody, the precepts contained in +which are founded upon passages referred to in his Lordship's letters, +is written in hendecasyllable measure, and is not destitute of humour." +The _Monthly Review_ for the same month had less to say: "We should be +miserably deficient in the fine Gentleman's Etiquette, were we to +criticise a lady for employing her time as she pleases." + + * * * * * + +In one sense, both burlesquers hit the weak spot in Chesterfield's +_Letters_. Since his purpose is to entertain through exaggeration, a +parodist is not required to be fair or to distinguish between an editor +without judgment and the writer of intimate letters; so long as +something can be made ludicrous, 'twill suffice. Yet essentially the +burlesquers and many a critic then and since have missed what +Chesterfield was writing in his letters and living in his long life. +Blinded by the trivia inevitable in hundreds of letters carrying anxious +parental advice, the critics have too often ignored or misinterpreted +Chesterfield's passion for helping. He lavished countless hours, during +the busiest part of his life, writing to his son in an effort to round +out his education where it was distressingly deficient--not in +strengthening it where it was strong. The pattern of trying to help is +repeated: Chesterfield did his level best with his godson; he gave what +was seemly to his young friend Huntingdon and likewise to Solomon +Dayrolles. Five unpublished letters at Yale, to a Mr. Clements of +Dublin, repeat the formula on a minor scale, the fifty-five-year-old +earl laying out a plan of education for the family hopeful. +Chesterfield's interest to do good shows at its best in his too little +known letter to the Duke of Bedford condemning the brutal treatment of +French prisoners (Dobree, VI, 2960). These all reveal something more +praiseworthy in the man than the common interpretation of him. + +Refreshing, sophisticatedly unsophisticated, yet genuinely revealing of +Lord Chesterfield's character, are a half dozen unknown couplets which +almost summarize his philosophy of manners. Since his sense of humor can +be questioned only by those themselves blind and deaf to humor, his +dislike here for laughter should be taken for what he intends--disgust +at vacuous guffaws. The society he praises has fun without attendant +headaches or regrets. Surely, one could do worse than to be, with him, +"innocently gay." The verses appeared in the _London Chronicle_ for May +28-30, 1776; an autograph copy, said to be dated 1761 and forming part +of the Alfred Morrison collection, was sold at auction in 1918.[3] + + Let social mirth with gentle manners join, + Unstunned by laughter--uninflamed by wine; + Let Reason unimpaired exert its powers, + But let gay Fancy strew its way with flowers. + Far hence the Wag's and Witling's scurril jest, + Whose noise and nonsense shock the decent guest; + True Wit and Humour such low helps decline, + Nor will the Graces owe their charms to wine. + Fools fly to drink (in native dullness sunk) + In vain; they're ten times greater fools when drunk.-- + Thus, free from riot, innocently gay, + We'll neither wish, nor fear our final day. + + Sidney L. Gulick + San Diego State College + + + + +NOTES + + +Except for the title page of _The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette_, which +comes from the University of North Carolina. + +[1] See my _Chesterfield Bibliography to 1800_, Papers of the +Bibliographical Society of America, XXIX (1935), 68-70 and 82-89. + +[2] Mr. Cecil Price, of Aberystwyth University, called the _London +Chronicle_ item to my attention several years ago, pointing out that +Professor James L. Clifford had identified this reference at note 160 in +his edition of _Dr. Campbell's Diary_ (Cambridge, 1947). The _CBEL_ +lists _The Graces_ as by Woty, but without stating its authority. + +[3] The sale catalogue authenticates the poem here given by printing a +short passage from it (page 238, lot 1405; sold by Messrs. Sotheby, +Wilkinson, & Hodge; 18 April 1918). + + + + +NOTES TO _THE GRACES_ + +Full annotation is not intended, but identification of a few allusions +in this poem may be helpful. + + p. 4 Sir Fletcher Norton (1716-89), currently Speaker of the House of + Commons. + + Edward Thurlow (1731-1806), recently notable for successfully + opposing perpetual copyright. + + John Dunning (1731-83), lawyer and member of Parliament, Mrs. + Eugenia Stanhope's legal counsel when Chesterfield's executors + wished to stop publication of the letters. See my article, "The + Publication of Chesterfield's _Letters to his Son_," PMLA, LI + (March 1936), 171. + + p. 5 William Blackstone (1723-80), already a judge and the author + of the famous _Commentaries_. + + Schomberg (probably Isaac, 1714-80, rather than his twin brother + Raphael, 1714-92), Sir John Pringle (1707-82), and William + Bromfield (1712-92) were physicians, respectively, to Garrick, + King George III, and his Queen. + + p. 6 The current Bishop of Peterborough was Dr. John Hinchliffe + (1731-94). + + Hans Stanley (1720?-80), M.P., political and diplomatic figure. + + Great Tallboy--apparently Charles Talbot, twelfth Earl and only + Duke of Shrewsbury (1660-1718), "A man of great personal + attractions, ... called by Swift 'the favourite of the nation'" + (_Concise DNB_). + + Haslang--Joseph Xaver (ca 1700-83), Freiherr (later Graf) von + Haszlang, Bavarian minister to England 1741-83 (Yale _Walpole_, + IX, 185, n. 25). + + p. 9 Spranger Barry (1719-77), famous tragic actor, or possibly his + wife, Ann Spranger Barry (1734-1801). + + p. 12 John Hill (1716?-75), prolific compiler of works on varied + subjects; about a year previously he had been made knight of the + Swedish order of Vasa. + + + + + + THE + + GRACES: + + A + + POETICAL EPISTLE + + [Price One Shilling.] + + + + + [Illustration] + + THE + + GRACES: + + A + + POETICAL EPISTLE. + + FROM A + + GENTLEMAN TO HIS SON. + + LONDON: + + Printed for the AUTHOR, and Sold by W. FLEXNEY, in Holborn. + + MDCCLXXIV. + + + + +THE GRACES: + +A + +POETICAL EPISTLE. + + + Pride of my youth, and Comfort of my age! + To thee I consecrate this useful page. + Vers'd in the nicest arts of human kind, + To thee thy Parent pours forth all his mind; + And be it thine to treasure in thy heart + The grand _arcana_, which I now impart. + + As Health derives its most important charge, + More from the smaller vessels than the large, + On small events so man's success depends, + By these alone he gains the greatest ends; + And as he keeps this maxim, or forsakes, + A Trifle marrs him, or a Trifle makes. + + Court then the Graces, court! as I have done; + This rule adopt, or quit the name of Son. + This I will hollow constant in thy ear, + As loud as _Hotspur_ hollow'd _Mortimer_: + I would not keep a cat, or feed a bird, + That pip'd ungraceful, or ungraceful purr'd[1]. + + Let strict _Attention_ all your acts direct, + It wins Applause, as it denotes Respect. + Observe it in the most minute degree, + As well when _out_ of, as _in_ company. + Observe it even in the SHRINE OF EASE, + An error there the GODDESS may displease. + Learn what materials will your purpose fit, + And next enquire the _Quantum sufficit_; + That _quantum_ then in even folds dispose, + And wipe as cleanly, as you'd wipe your Nose. + In ev'ry circumstance, in ev'ry place, + The ease of Nature asks the ease of Grace. + What pity 'tis! a Gentleman can't send + This vulgar deed his Proxy to attend. + 'Tis quite _beneath_ the dignity of man, + So prithee, Child! avoid it--if you can; + But if it prove an irksome, windy war, + And nought, but vent, can terminate the jar; + _Distinct and graceful_, let th' explosion sound, + And fill with Harmony the sweet profound. + + Think not that Merit of itself can raise + Promotion's ladder, or the step of Praise[2]. + How came SIR FLETCHER in the Speaker's Chair! + Did Merit, or the Graces place him there. + Without the Graces what would THURLOE be! + THURLOE the Sage--a brief without a fee; + If more polite, perhaps he might be CHIEF, + And then he'd have the Fee without the Brief. + Say! was it Merit, like a blazing Star, + That first distinguish'd DUNNING at the Bar! + By Grace, and Attitude, the Prize he won, + For he and Grace, and Grace and he are one; + And whilst his rapid energy alarms, + The _Lawyer_ strikes us--but th' ADONIS charms. + + To Justice BLACKSTONE now direct your eyes, + With him in parts what other Justice vies! + 'Twas his to comment, his to analyze, + And draw the cobweb-curtain from our eyes; + Each legal winding nicely to explore, + And give to RUFUS one sound Lawyer more. + But what of that! he might have still retail'd + Inglorious Fees, had not his form prevail'd; + His gracious form, by Nature fram'd to please, + Which robs ANTINOUS of half his ease. + + To Physic now--that claims the second place. + SCHOMBERG has Skill, but PRINGLE has the Grace; + And yet--but how I know not--I protest, + THAT Schomberg's universally carest; + Hated perhaps--for taking NATURE'S part-- + By none, but the Professors of the ART. + + Tho' BROMFIELD operates as quick as thought, + His Fame and Judgment would be set at nought + Did not the sweetness of his soft Address, + That graceful mode he carves with, more or less, + Conduce to save his happy patient's life, + And make him look with pleasure at his knife. + + Thus with Divines. The multitude caress + The Preacher of the most expert Address. + 'Tis not the doctrine that the crowd revere, + They go to please the eye, and not the ear; + Hundreds, in spite of those who truly teach, + To ----[3] flock, tho' PETERBOROUGH preach. + + Think you (and this to CHATHAM I submit) + That parts superior rais'd the name of PITT! + No--'twas that elegant, HANS STANLEY Ease, + That manner soft, which could not fail to please; + That magic something, which yet wants a name, + And hands GREAT TALLBOY to immortal fame. + + Say! was it parts (tho' WALPOLE ne'er had more) + That held up NORTH amidst a factious roar! + With cautious eye the steady helm he guides, + And o'er the sea of state triumphant rides. + Firm, as the solid rock, that nobly braves + The raving fury of the lashing waves, + He stands--and mocks, un-conscious of a shame, + The voice of Clamour, and the lies of Fame. + But did th' exertion of his parts alone + Give, or deserve the favour of the throne! + Tho' blest with Goodness both of Heart and Head, + That goodness had remain'd inert and dead, + His well-earn'd consequence would ne'er maintain, + Were he not HASLANG'D in the Graces train. + + But now to more familiar rules I fall, + And beg you'll practise and observe 'em all. + When at the Play, be all alike serene, + Or at the tragic, or the comic scene. + Let Humour (GARRICK standing by her side) + With laughter loud plebeian mouths divide, + Whose ha! ha! ha's! the tender ear annoy. + Do thou disdain the coarse, unmeaning joy;[4] + Nor ope your lips, but purely to disclose + How white your teeth, how accurate the rows. + + When Tragedy puts on her sable stole, + Whose very looks convey her very soul; + Whose words a murderer's repose defeat, + And make a _Nabob_ shudder in his seat; + Whose plaintive tones can melt the worthy breast, + That ever melts, when Merit is distrest; + Who calls forth tears, of tears a copious store + From sullen eyes, that never wept before; + Tears that do honour to the human heart, + And such as BARRY can at will impart; + When such the sympathy (tho' ne'er so strong) + Ah! catch not thou th' effusion of the throng; + For if they see you shed one real tear, + The very men who shift the scenes will sneer. + + Now list attentive! list! whilst I unfold + A secret, that in verse has ne'er been told. + All think they know it, but 'tis known to few, + That is, how best to buckle on your shoe; + Tho' strong their judgment, and their fancy bright, + Ten do it wrong for one, who does it right. + On this side some, and some on that display + This useful ornament in awkward way. + But wiser thou! observe nor that, nor this, + Say what men will, both methods are amiss; + The _medium_ of the foot denotes the place, + Its proper fixture for external grace[5]. + + With all his open manliness of mind, + Where solid sense, and sterling wit are join'd, + In life poor _Classic_ never could advance, + The reason's plain--poor _Classic_ could not dance. + + How long in vain did learned JOHNSON toil! + And waste in busy thought the midnight oil: + Whose page the Critics ever must revere, + As long as genius is reputed dear, + Whose heart exults, or swells with honest rage, + As Vice, or Virtue marks the rising age; + Whose nervous writings shook the trump of Fame, + Yet left him nothing but a deathless name. + But when the features of each grace he wore, + And look'd as JOHNSON never look'd before, + Then came the meed, that honourable gain, + Which sheds such lustre over GEORGE'S Reign, + That meed, which no good man can wish remov'd, + Hinted by BUTE, by MAJESTY approv'd. + + Adieu! and let the Graces be your text,[6] + But I'll be more explicit in my next: + There will I teach thee, with a sire's concern, + All that is proper for a son to learn: + In pleasing segments how to pare your nails,[7] + Segments must please, as long as taste prevails. + The conduct of your breeches there make known, + How best to pull 'em up, and let 'em down. + Teach thee to handle with peculiar grace, + The snuff-box, toothpick, and the toothpick-case, + And how to cut and eat a currant tart, + Nor let your napkin, or your chin have part. + Once more, my Child! adieu! Remember me, + And ne'er, O ne'er forget the GRACES THREE! + Hug 'em as close, as, when he goes to rest, + HILL hugs his graceful _Order_ to his breast. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] The graceful manner of speaking is particularly what I shall always +hollow in your ear, as _Hotspur_ hollow'd _Mortimer_ to _Henry_ the +fourth, and like him, I have aimed to have a Starling taught to say, +"_Speak distinctly and_ _gracefully_," and send him you to replace your +loss of the unfortunate Matzell, who by the way, I am told, spoke his +language _distinctly and gracefully_. + +Lord Chesterfield's Letter to his Son, page 305. 4to. edit. 1st. Vol. + + +[2] I must repeat it to you over and over again, that with all the +knowledge which you may have at present, or hereafter acquire, and with +all the merit that ever man had, if you have not a graceful address, &c. +you will be nobody. Page 500, 1st. Vol. + +[3] The reader is desired to fill up this blank to his own mind. + +[4] You may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh, while you +live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and +ill-manners. It is the manner in which the mob express their silly joy +at silly things. In my mind there is nothing so illiberal and so +ill-bred as audible laughter. Page 268. + +[5] I am very glad you have received the diamond buckles safe. All I +desire in return for them is, that they may be buckled even upon your +foot, and that your stockings may not hide them. + +[6] The Graces, the Graces, remember the Graces. Page 390. + +[7] The ends of your nails should be small segments of circles, &c. +every time that you wipe your hands, rub the skin round your nails +backwards, that it may not grow up and shorten your nails too much. Vol. +II. page 60. + + + + +FINIS. + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD's + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + [Price One Shilling.] + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD's + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + By a LADY. + + [Illustration] + + LONDON: + + printed for T. DAVIES, in Russel-Street. + + M DCC LXXVI. + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD'S + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + + [a] "Sufficiently master of Latin and Greek," + You now, with the Graces, acquaintance must seek, + On Ida, we're told, the fair Goddesses dwell, + Invoke them by strong incantation, and spell, + Your incense once paid, on their candour rely, + "[b] With ardour pursu'd, they of course will comply; + "[c] So well know the poets their use my good friend, + "They make 'em, all three, upon Venus attend; + "And surely, if Venus, attractions cou'd need, + "Minerva, ungrac'd, cannot hope to succeed;" + Courage! mon garcon, throw the pedant aside, + And 'stead of friend [1]Harte, adopt me for your guide, + In courts, at ruells, you can ne'er hope to shine, + Unless with the virtues, the Graces combine: + [a] Page 5. second volume. + [b] Page 92. second volume. + [c] Page 33. ditto. + + I beg you'll acquire, or we ne'er shall agree, + The air, the _tournure, de la bonne compagnie_, + "[d] This soon among people of fash'on you'll catch, + "If careful you are, their behav'our to watch; + "Observe their address, and pray likewise contrive, + "Deep into the springs of their actions, to dive: + "'Bove all things, have art to discover each failing, + "Their merit particular, weakness prevailing; + "This accomplish'd, advantage you'll infinite reap, + "And may safe of their heads, and their hearts, take a peep." + Form friendships, but let it be only with those + On whose fond credulity you may impose; + Their confidence gain'd, unsuspected you'll soon, + Discover their secrets, and make them your own; + 'Tis of honor no breach, to betray thus a friend, + If you find, to your int'rest, 'twill visibly tend: + These maxims, thro' life, I wou'd have you pursue, + I practis'd them once, and now hand them to you; + Successful they were, they brought honors and fame, + For still I had art to preserve my good name; + "[e] 'Twere wrong to suppose, what the polish'd world say; + "That in manners, and carr'age, you're horrid _outré_;" + "Your air [2]Pollissôn, and the taste of your cloaths, + "Makes you pass for a Bourgeois that nobody knows; + "In short, that you want, since the truth I must own, + "[3]_Tous ces petits riens qui donnent le bon ton_." + "[f] I happen'd, by chance, to step in tother day, + "To a print-shop, that luckily, stood in my way, + "Where a print, for your use, I took pains to select, + "And hope to my taste, you will pay due respect; + "'Tis of drawing the school, from a famous design + "Of Carlo Marratti, who stood first in the line + "Of eminent painters, in Europe that drew," + Admir'd, by all lovers of taste, and Virtu: + "In the grey-headed sage the great master you see, + "His scholars he points to, in this you'll agree. + "Their several studies, on which he must speak, + "Are Perspective, Geometry, and statues antique:" + Of each, you a specimen fair will behold.-- + But matters, so obvious, you scarce need be told. + [d] Page 53. second volume. + [e] Page 17. second volume. + [f] Page 101. second volume. + + "On the two former subjects, be pleas'd to observe, + "That quantum sufficit, of either, will serve; + "With regard to the latter, he clearly hath shewn, + "That never enough on that head can be known:" + But now to my favourite, much admir'd theme, + For which, I the Artist, immortal esteem + To you, with instruction divine it is fraught, + Not Apelles could more have excell'd in the thought. + "At top of the piece, in the clouds you will see, + "With dignity seated, the Graces All Three; + "And over them written this sentence quite plain,-- + "Without us, depend on't, all labour is vain." + + "Thus much for description, the print I shall send, + "With all possible speed by the hands of a friend," + "And beg, adoration you will to it pay, + "Such as Catholics use to their saints when they pray: + "An ear, to my precepts, I hope you will lend, + "[g] Nor think, that those Graces, so oft' I commend, + "Must only [4]_les jours de grand Gala_ be worn, + "Since each word, and action, they're meant to adorn." + [g] Page 106. second volume. + + "Your coffee to see you ungracefully sip," + I know, beyond measure, would give me the hyp, + "If, by holding it aukward, your cloaths you should slop," + In a fit, off my chair, I shou'd suddenly drop; + Nor less shou'd I feel, were I destin'd to view, + "A button'd up coat, or a wry buckled shoe: + "Good God! how excessively shocking my doom, + "If when I first see you come into my room; + "[h] Two aukward left legs, and a taylor-like air, + "My sight shou'd accost,"--by the Graces I swear, + All ties of affinity I shou'd disclaim, + And deem you, henceforth, a disgrace to my name. + [h] Page 218. second volume. + + "Your dress to correct, and your carriage to mend, + "Let _le Tailleur_, and what's more [5]_Marcel_ stand your friend; + "_Marcel_, I'm persuaded, will soon teach you how, + "To turn out your toes, and to make a good bow; + "Nor do I despair, but he'll fashon outright, + "Your arms too, and legs, which are both in sad plight: + "Attend on his lessons, with diligent care, + "Of him you'll acquire, _tous les Graces, les manieres_;" + More useful, than classical knowledge, this art + "To deceive, we must first gain access to the heart; + "[i] The heart once engag'd," mind your mood, and your tense, + "And I'll venture my life you impose on the sense; + "This doctrine is orthodox, practis'd by me, + "--Address, is with Statesmen, the true master-key. + "[j] I greatly am chagrin'd, to find that you still + "Are absent, distrait, and present yourself ill," + "That napkin, and bread, your knife, fork, and spoon, + "Where ever you dine, are thrown constantly down;" + To the infinite terror, I'm sorry to say, + Of the company's legs, that within their reach lay: + "Your dress and your person, you likewise neglect," + A proof that my counsel you mean to reject; + From which I infer, that you ne'er will acquire, + "That _tournure_, those Graces," I so much admire: + "With the dead, I a thousand times better am pleas'd, + "Than a man who with fits of distraction is seiz'd; + "For tho' the defunct, no amusement can give, + "From him I no mark of contempt shall receive; + "So absent you seem, I am led to surmize, + "You seldom make use of your ears or your eyes; + "It therefore seems highly expedient to me, + "A flapper shou'd rouze you from this reverie;" + "But mark, on the subject, a word _entres nous_-- + "For this new domestic I pay not a sous: + "That office, friend [6]Christian, must gratis discharge," + Nor suffer you, solus, to wander at large, + Least strangers, that seldom their censure restrain, + Viva voce, shou'd deem you--a person insane: + "The use of those flappers, in Swift you may read, + "Of them the Laputans, your allies, stood in need; + "Whose minds, like to yours, by intense speculations, + "Were too much ingross'd to have useful sensations; + "And but for those flappers, I think there's no doubt + "Their brains 'gainst the posts, they had fairly beat out;" + The sum of my doctrine is [7]_point des grimaces + Et point de distraction, mais souvenir les graces_. + "[k] If you, at my table, shou'd meet Mr. L. + "A fatal catastrophy I can foretell," + "Your heads, 'gainst each other, you'll merciless hit, + "And you'll haggle your fingers, instead of the meat; + "'Tis probable too," this deponent here saith, + "You both, may in winter, be scalded to death, + "By th'hasty infusion of soup boiling hot;"-- + But more, on this head, this deponent says not. + [i] Page 227. second volume. + [j] Page 216. ditto. + [k] Page 262. second volume. + + I oft' from my memory seek to erase + An hour, unto you, big with shame and disgrace; + But vain the attempt, it will uppermost be, + Good heav'n forefend! I the like shou'd e'er see: + For certain it is, as I now am alive, + Another such shock I cou'd never survive: + [8]The fact I allude to you'll easily guess, + 'Twas when with some friends of esteem'd _politesse_, + With me you once din'd, to my grief be it said, + And no little hole in your manners then made: + _Blanche mange_, which you doat on, was part of our fare, + Abhorr'd! be the minute, when first it came there.-- + Henceforth, for your sake, I _Blanche mange_ shall detest, + 'Tho of colour the whitest, and flavour the best; + For when, you close siege, to a pyramid laid, + No respect was to persons, or decency paid: + You not only ate, 'till you cou'd eat no more, + But with it, disfigur'd your visage all o'er: + Your portrait was that, if a likeness you'd have, + Of a man ready lather'd, just going to shave: + Transported with rage, I cou'd scarce keep my seat, + And words, only found, to advise a retreat; + And order your servant to wash your face clean, + Since so dirty a spectacle never was seen: + Where then were the Graces?--that hour sound they slept, + Or else on mount Ida a jubilee kept. + + To acquire the _bon ton_, and excel in address, + Are points upon which I must ever lay stress; + So useful they are, of importance so great, + You'll find 'em, through life, so essential a bait; + That without them as soon may you hope to succeed, + As a man teach the Classicks that never could read: + My counsel is sterling, pray bear it in mind, + A Statesman I was, and belov'd by mankind; + In pleasure, or bus'ness, _les grace_, _les manieres_, + Ensure one success, with the grave, or the fair. + + "Your manners to polish, and time to amuse, + "I hope you have chosen a good [9]_décrotteuse_; + "[l] While aukward and gauche, which at present I fear" + You must not, the hem of my garment come near; + "Great merit esteem will procure it is true, + "But merit alone, be assur'd will not do. + "[m] Your riding and dancing I hope will conduce + "To fash'on your limbs, and to teach them their use;" + I'd have you describ'd, by your air _degagée_, + In order to which, _il vous faut dégourdis_,[10] + Of women, you best, _les agrément_ will learn, + But be sure, in your choice, that you rightly discern, + 'Twixt the dissolute fair, that wou'd ruin your fame, + And her, that real lustre will add to your name: + My joy were compleat, could I hear the world say, + Ah! _comme il est galant ce petit Anglois_! + [l] Page 92. second volume. + [m] Page 18. ditto. + + "[n] At Paris arriv'd, you must take 'special care, + "To dress as the people of fash'on do there; + "This does not in finery so much consist, + "As the manner of wearing your cloaths, and the taste. + "Employ the best taylor the place will afford, + "Since much will depend on your _premier abord_, + [11]_Comme un homme du grand monde il vous faut habillé_[B] + [12]_Toûjours à la mode, et bien proprement mis_: + "Pray find a good _frisieur_ to do your hair well, + "Since that of your dress, is a part material: + "[o] Apropos, of your legs,--garter well up your hose, + "Lest careless they hang o'er the tops of your shoes; + "For nought gives a man a more slovenly air, + "Than aukward dress'd legs, and a rough head of hair + "[p] Be powder'd, be feather'd, be lac'd I entreat," + From the crown of your head, to the soles of your feet; + They must not of fashion, an atom neglect, + That hope, from the women, to challenge respect; + "Whose suffrage to gain, I must beg you'll aspire, + "Since only of them you can lustre acquire." + [n] Page 73. third volume. + [o] Page 220. second volume. + [p] Page 332. second volume. + + "[q] My diamond buckles I fully propose, + "Your feet shall adorn, mine they now wou'd expose;" + "Of all things in nature I mostly abhor," + A Beau, on the verge, of years fifty and four: + Accept them, I beg, with injunction severe, + "[r] To buckle them straight," since to me 'tis not clear, + But one on the outside your foot may be plac'd, + And one on the in, as a proof of your taste; + If this, of a certainty, I cou'd but know, + Without shoes, or buckles, for me you should go. + [q] Page 181. ditto. + [r] Page 66. third volume. + + "[s] Of swords, canes, and snuff boxes, might I advise, + "If elegant, one may of each well suffice:" + There are, who will lavish, on baubles like these, + A sum wou'd procure independence and ease: + Such Beings, alas! not a shilling would lend, + To save from despair, a poor indigent friend: + Oh! shut not your ear, 'gainst the cry of distress, + May the sense of their woes, prove their means of redress: + Tho' chance, in your favour, some difference has made, + No distinction to rank, will hereafter be paid: + Sufficient that thought, human pride to subdue, + Pray let it not pass unregarded by you. + [s] Page 220. second volume. + + "[t] [13]_Comment vont les Graces_, prithee how do they fare, + "Of them have you studied [14]_le grand art de plaire_? + "If you, in the _beau monde_, success would ensure, + "[u] In your manners attend to a certain _douceur_: + "The French, this _douceur_, do most highly esteem, + "'Tis in short [15]_l'aimable, le tout chose_ with them; + Acquire it, dear Phil, or I fair warning give,-- + I ne'er wish to see you as long as you live. + [t] Page 153. third volume. + [u] Page 108. third volume. + + "[v] In your person be cleanly, I humbly intreat, + "And attend to your teeth, that your breath may be sweet, + "Your nails too keep par'd, I outrageous should be, + "If them, tipt with black, I should happen to see. + "By you, may these hints, not improper be held, + "[w] Since once, 'bove your fellows, in dirt you excell'd; + "And oft', when a lad, have you suffer'd disgrace, + "For neglecting to wash both your hands, and your face:" + 'Tho trifling these matters, to you, may appear, + With me, they weigh more than the gold of Ophir; + Since a dunce well accomplish'd more merit can boast, + Than a book-worm that smells of the deep college rust. + A father, I am, to your faults nothing blind, + And claim a free licence for speaking my mind; + "By this lecture on cleanliness, all I propose is, + "[x] That you may not offend peoples eyes, or their noses." + [v] Page 74. third volume. + [w] Page 74. ditto. + [x] Page 182. second volume. + + "[y] A bill I receiv'd, but the truth to confess, + "It puzzl'd me much at the drawer to guess; + "No advice you had given of such an intent, + "From which I suspected, a fraud might be meant; + "Since always in matters of business, like these, + "'Tis usual the party in time to apprize: + "And what more confirmed these suspicions, my friend, + "It did not appear to have ever been sign'd: + "The person that brought it, desir'd me to look, + "Again at the bottom, where what I mistook + "For somebody's mark, by the help of a glass, + "Your name really prov'd,--to my sorrow, alas! + "Since wrote in a hand, both the worst, and the least, + "In my life I beheld, it must needs be confess'd: + "And rather, by far, I'd have lost the whole sum, + "Than such a vile scrawl from your hand should have come. + [y] Page 113. third volume. + + [z] In spelling, my son, I shall give you your due, + For so great a proficient on _yearth_ I ne'er knew; + "_Enduce_, for induce, you now actually spell, + "For grandeur, _grandure_, which to you sounds as well; + "Two capital blunders, I beg you will note, + "Since few of my house-maids such stuff wou'd have wrote:" + To give my ideas at once their full scope, + Your progress in nonsense, inclines me to hope, + That soon an epistle, from you I shall see, + Wherein will be spelt the word joy with a g. + [z] Page 81. third volume. + + [a] I well am inform'd, there is still in your speech, + "A most disagreeable hobble, or hitch;" + Not yet to have conquer'd bad habits, dear Phil, + With me, needs must wear the appearance of ill; + Still falsely attach'd to the errors of youth, + Still aukward in manners, in speech still uncouth: + I dare not the flattering hope entertain, + That you, as an orator, credit will gain; + If so, to my pride 'twill an overthrow be, + And certain disgrace must accrue unto thee: + "[b] At Athens, to orat'ry, such the respect, + "That of it, herb women, were judges correct:" + But lest my assertion with you shou'd want weight, + I'll venture a story in point to relate: + [a] Page 42. ditto. + [b] Page 43. third volume. + + _Theophrastus_, at _Athens_, one day in the street, + By chance, with an herb-woman, happen'd to meet; + A question he ask'd: he not speaking Greek pure, + A _stranger_ she call'd him,--of this I am sure, + Thou art not of _Athens_, a city renown'd, + For oratory, elegance, learning profound: + Her judgment I praise, not mistaken was she, + It prov'd, that of _Athens_, no native was he: + Apply to yourself, what above I have wrote, + That you, thro' neglect, may no stranger be thought: + I ne'er can the study enough recommend, + Your fortune, and character, on it depend; + My protection you'll forfeit, the truth I must speak, + [c] Unless you a figure in Parliament make. + [c] Page 283. second volume. + + "[d] On carving, a hint I shall venture to give, + "Attention it claims, ev'ry day that you live: + "Do you carve with _adroitness_, the truth prithee own, + "Without hacking, at least half an hour cross a bone: + "Or spatt'ring the sauce in your company's faces, + "And into their pockets o'erturning the glasses;" + While labouring you seem, and at no common rate, + With your sleeve, all the time, in your next neighbour's plate? + Such aukward behaviour admits no excuse, + 'Tis avoided with ease, by attention and use; + I therefore shall hope, that e'er this you are able, + To acquit yourself well at the head of a table: + The reverse shou'd it prove (which good heav'n avert) + Believe me, the shock, I but ill could support; + To find you _distrait_, aukward, clumsy, ill-bred, + And only in books, not in manners well read; + I frankly confess, I shall wish from my soul, + We two may be distant, as South from North pole. + [d] Page 68. ditto. + + With regard to your gallantry, much has been said, + 'Tho silence profound, you observe on that head, + "[e] Your converse with women, respectful must be, + "But likewise observe _au meme temps enjoué_: + "[f] On score of their beauty, good sense, or their graces, + "The sex you may flatter, all times, in all cases; + "They love admiration, and think it can ne'er, + "On any conditions be purchas'd too dear: + "These hints from the sex, must with care be conceal'd, + "No mercy expect if they once are reveal'd;" + Revenge is their passion, and well I discern, + "[g] Like Orpheus, in pieces, by them you'd be torn:" + "[h] One maxim pray treasure as long as you live, + "No mark of contempt either sex will forgive; + "The vanity flatter'd of women, or men, + "Ensures you success with just nine out of ten:" + [e] Page 332. second volume. + [f] Page 57. ditto. + [g] Page 57. second volume. + [h] Page 178. third volume. + + Resolve me a question I wish much to know, + "[i] Your passion, how stands it, for _Madame de Blot_? + "Does she list to your tale, are there hopes of success? + "To me, you the secret, may safely confess: + "On giving the _mohair_, occasion will serve, + "_Pour faire le galant_, which you'll doubtless observe;" + Te Deum I'll sing when the vict'ry is sure,-- + 'Tho much I suspect you'll not prove her _meilcour_; + "She, constant has been to her husband, they say, + "And married, poor soul! 'bove a year and a day;" + Small chance do you stand with a woman so chaste,-- + Exclude her, at once, from the region of taste + A beauty obdurate, to lovers a score! + At Paris, the thing was ne'er heard of before; + By you, if the willow, for her must be worn, + No French woman she, in her heart, I'll be sworn. + [i] Page 351. second volume. + + "In all that you do, and whatever you say, + "I hope, to the Graces, you sacrifice pay, + "Assiduously courted, their favour you'll gain," + So shall not, my labour of love, "be in vain." + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] Mr. _Harte_, Mr. _Stanhope_'s tutor. + +[2] Slovenly air. + +[3] Those little nothings that give the ton. + +[4] High Court, or Jubilee Days. + +[5] A famous dancing master at that time in Paris. + +[6] Mr. Stanhope's gentleman. + +[7] No distortion of countenance, or aukward behaviour; no absence of +mind; but to keep the Graces always in remembrance. + +[8] Mr. Stanhope dined one day with some company at his father's, when +the following circumstance happen'd, which so much enrag'd him, that he +called for his servant to take him from table and wash him clean. + +[9] A female polisher of manners. + +[10] Have your stiffness remov'd. + +[11] You should dress like a man of the great world. + +[12] Always in the fashion, and your cloaths well put on. + +[13] What success with the Graces. + +[14] The great art of pleasing. + +[15] The amiable, the every thing. + + + + +FINIS. + + + + + William Andrews Clark Memorial Library: University of California + + THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + + _General Editors_ + + R.C. Boys + University of Michigan + + Ralph Cohen + University of California, Los Angeles + + Vinton A. Dearing + University of California, Los Angeles + + Lawrence Clark Powell + Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library + + _Corresponding Secretary_: Mrs. Edna C. Davis, Wm. Andrews Clark + Memorial Library + + +The Society's purpose is to publish reprints (usually facsimile +reproductions) of rare seventeenth and eighteenth century works. All +income of the Society is devoted to defraying costs of publication and +mailing. + +Correspondence concerning subscriptions in the United States and Canada +should be addressed to the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library, 2205 +West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles 18, California. Correspondence +concerning editorial matters may be addressed to any of the general +editors. The membership fee is $4.00 a year for subscribers in the +United States and Canada and 15/-for subscribers in Great Britain and +Europe. British and European subscribers should address B.H. Blackwell, +Broad Street, Oxford, England. + + +Publications for the fourteenth year (1959-1960) + +Six items, most of them from the following list, will be reprinted. + +_Two Burlesques of Chesterfield_ (1774, 1776). Selected, with an +introduction, by Sidney Gulick. Richard Savage, _An Author to be Let_ +(1732). Introduction by James Sutherland. William Herbert, Third Earl of +Pembroke. _Poems_ (1660). Introduction by Gaby Onderwyzer. Francis +Hutcheson, _Reflections on Laughter_ (1729). Introduction by Scott +Elledge. _Eighteenth-Century Newspaper Essays on the Theatre._ Selected, +with an introduction, by John Loftis. [Peter Whalley] _An Essay on the +Manner of Writing History_ (1746). Introduction by Keith Stewart. +_Sawney and Colley_ [1742] and other Pope pamphlets. Edited, with an +introduction, by W. Powell Jones. Henry Fuseli, _Remarks on the Writings +and Conduct of J. J. Rousseau_ (1767). Introduction by Karl S. Guthke. +[Charles Croke] _Fortune's Uncertainty_ (1667). Introduction by William +Matthews. + +Single copies of past publications, except those which are out of print, +are available at $.75 each. A list of publications in print may be +obtained by writing to the Society. + + +THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY _WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY_ +2205 West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles 18, California + +Make check or money order payable to The Regents of the University of +California. + + + * * * * * + + + +Transcriber's Notes + +A. "The Graces" + +On p. 2, extra quotation mark deleted in the phrase "speak distinctly +and gracefully" in footnote 1. + +On page 7, "observe e'm all" has been amended to "observe 'em all". + +On p. 21 The redundant double quotation mark after "_grandure_," has been +deleted. + + +B. "The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette" + +These typos have been amended: + +On p. 7, "supprose" has been amended to +"suppose". + +On p. 20, "you hand" has been amended to "your hand". + +This poem makes much use of quotation marks. It is not always certain +that they have been put in the correct place, but they have been left +unchanged. + +In "The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette", there are two sets of footnotes. +One set, which contains references to Chesterfield's Letters, is +anchored with lower-case alphabetic characters, and placed after the +relevant paragraph. The second set is anchored with Arabic numerals and +placed at the end of the poem. + +In footnote 4 the word "days" had "s" printed in reverse. This is now +printed the right way round. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's +Letters., by Anonymous + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO BURLESQUES OF LORD *** + +***** This file should be named 38149-8.txt or 38149-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/1/4/38149/ + +Produced by Tor Martin Kristiansen, Margo Romberg, Joseph +Cooper and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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