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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/38149-8.txt b/38149-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6228b0a --- /dev/null +++ b/38149-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1652 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's +Letters., by Anonymous + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's Letters. + The Graces (1774), The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette (1776) + +Author: Anonymous + +Editor: Sidney L. Gulick + +Release Date: November 27, 2011 [EBook #38149] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO BURLESQUES OF LORD *** + + + + +Produced by Tor Martin Kristiansen, Margo Romberg, Joseph +Cooper and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + + TWO BURLESQUES OF + LORD CHESTERFIELD'S LETTERS + THE GRACES (1774) + THE FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE (1776) + + Edited, with an Introduction, by + Sidney L. Gulick + + Publication Number 81 + + William Andrews Clark Memorial Library + University of California + Los Angeles + 1960 + + + + + GENERAL EDITORS + + Richard C. Boys, _University of Michigan_ + Ralph Cohen, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Lawrence Clark Powell, _Clark Memorial Library_ + + + ASSISTANT EDITOR + + W. Earl Britton, _University of Michigan_ + + + ADVISORY EDITORS + + Emmett L. Avery, _State College of Washington_ + Benjamin Boyce, _Duke University_ + Louis Bredvold, _University of Michigan_ + John Butt, _King's College, University of Durham_ + James L. Clifford, _Columbia University_ + Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_ + Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_ + Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_ + Ernest C. Mossner, _University of Texas_ + James Sutherland, _University College, London_ + H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., _University of California, Los Angeles_ + + + CORRESPONDING SECRETARY + + Edna C. Davis, _Clark Memorial Library_ + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +Even though the disasters which overtook John Stubbs and William Prynne +in the days of Elizabeth and Charles I no longer faced the pamphleteer, +the eighteenth century saw many an anonymous publication, for while +hands and ears were less in jeopardy, author and publisher might well +suffer imprisonment, as William Cooley and the printer of the Daily Post +learned in the winter of 1740-41, and John Wilkes in the 1760's. One can +understand why, despite the absence of personal danger, a public figure +like Lord Chesterfield should yet conceal his connection with a piece on +the Hanoverian troops, or why Horace Walpole might often not put his +name to an item listed in his Short Notes of his life or young Boswell +to his communications to the press. Indeed, many an innocuous writing +appeared anonymously, for the bashful author, protected against the +miseries of conspicuous failure, could always shyly acknowledge a +successful production. Later, perchance, it could appear in his +collected works. + +The two pieces here reprinted, typical verse pamphlets of the 1770's, +illustrate both a type of writing and an age. The subject of both is +contemporary--the best-selling _Letters to his Son_ of Lord +Chesterfield. The method falls between burlesque and caricature; the aim +is amusement; the substance is negligible. Neither poem made more than a +ripple on publication, neither initiated a critical fashion, and neither +survived in its own right, yet each has merit enough to justify +inclusion today in such a series as the Augustan reprints. + + * * * * * + +Chesterfield's _Letters to his Son_, the subject of these two +burlesques, were announced as published on April 7, 1774, scarcely a +year after his death; that they became an immediate best seller, every +schoolboy knows. Reaction to the letters took several modes of +expression. These included comments in conversation by Dr. Johnson and +by George III, as reported by Boswell and by Fanny Burney; in letters, +from Walpole, Mrs. Delaney, Voltaire, and Mrs. Montagu; and in diaries, +such as those of Fanny Burney and John Wesley. Reviewers sprang to words +if not into action. Entire books came to the defence of morality. A +sermon announced "The Unalterable Nature of Vice and Virtue" (a second +edition placed Virtue before Vice); the _Monthly Review_ for December +1775 praised it: "This sensible and well written discourse is chiefly +directed against the letters of the late Lord Chesterfield, though his +Lordship is not mentioned." All of these approached the subject +directly. Indirect reactions included an ironic _Apology for Mrs. +Stanhope_ (the son's widow, who had sold the letters to James Dodsley +the publisher for £1575 and was represented as the editor), two novels +showing the pernicious effects of the Chesterfieldean "system"--_The +Pupil of Pleasure_, by Courtney Melmoth (Samuel Jackson Pratt), and _The +Two Mentors_, by Clara Reeve--and a parody by Horace Walpole of the +first three letters (published years later in his _Works_). The +_Westminster Magazine_ carried a "Petition of the Women of Pleasure" and +the _London Chronicle_ a farcical skit on Lord Chesterfield's refined +manners.[1] In a play called _The Cozeners_, Samuel Foote took advantage +of current interest in Chesterfield to ridicule the graces. Not the +least interesting examples of the indirect reaction to the _Letters_ are +the two verse caricatures or burlesques here reprinted. + + * * * * * + +The earlier of the two poems, _The Graces_, bears the date 1774 on the +title page. A second edition of 1775 at first glance appears to be a +reissue with new title page, but minor changes and the straightedge test +are evidence of resetting. The authorship was soon known: _The London +Chronicle_ for February 16-18, quoting 88 lines of the total 170 and +working from the first edition, mentioned that the piece was written by +Mr. Woty, but so far as bibliography was concerned this attribution +remained hidden until recently, for Woty's obituary in the _Gentleman's +Magazine_ for March 1791 omitted mention of _The Graces_, as did the +_DNB_ and its additional sources, John Nichols' _Leicestershire_ and +David Erskine Baker's _Biographia Dramatica_ (1812 ed.).[2] That Woty +did indeed write _The Graces_ one may assume from his including it in +1780, with minor changes, in _Poems on Several Occasions_. He too used +the first edition. + +Of William Woty's life little need be said; the _DNB_, relying +essentially on the _Gentleman's Magazine_, gives the salient events: +after preparing to enter the law, he became companion and a kind of +legal secretary to Washington, Earl Ferrers, who prior to his death in +1778 made Woty independent by establishing an annuity of £150 for him. +His first book of verse was _The Sporting Club_, 1758; the next, _The +Shrubs of Parnassus_, by "James Copywell," he published in 1760. Two +others, which he acknowledged, followed in the next three years; then in +1763 he joined Francis Fawkes in editing _The Poetical Calendar_, in 12 +volumes, to which Samuel Johnson contributed a character sketch of +William Collins (Boswell's _Life_, ed. Hill-Powell, I, 382). In 1770, +Woty issued a two-volume _Poetical Works_. The _Gentleman's Magazine_, +mentioning four other publications from 1770 to 1775, adds, "and some +other miscellaneous pieces since that time." These, possibly unnamed +because published outside of London, included _Poems on Several +Occasions_, Derby, 1780 (in which, as noted above, he reprinted _The +Graces_), _Fugitive and Original Poems_, Derby, 1786, and _Poetical +Amusements_, Nottingham, 1789. "Mr. W. was a true _bon vivant_," the +notice continues, "but by a too great indulgence of his passion for +conviviality and society he unfortunately injured his constitution." He +died in March 1791, "aged about 60." + +Woty seems to have been on the periphery of Samuel Johnson's list of +acquaintances. Under what circumstances Johnson agreed to write the +sketch of Collins for the _Poetical Calendar_, Boswell does not +specify--whether for Woty or for Fawkes or for J. Coote, the +publisher--but write it he did. The index to the Hill-Powell Boswell +lists Woty (and Fawkes) only in this connection, but someone had +sufficient interest with the lexicographer to induce him to subscribe to +Woty's anonymous _Shrubs of Parnassus_, 1760; the subscription list of +some 500 names includes not only Samuel Johnson, A.M., but David +Garrick, Mr. William Mason, Dr. Smollett, Mr. Strahan, and Mr. Newbery, +of St. Paul's Church Yard, who bought 6 books--not unnaturally, for he +was the publisher. A decade later, the subscribers to _The Poetical +Works of William Woty_ included James Boswell, Esq., George Colman, +Esq., Mr. Garrick, Dr. Johnson, and this time for but one set, Mr. +Newbery. After still another decade, when Woty published in Derby his +_Poems on Several Occasions_, the list of subscribers included none of +these names, even though this collection included _The Graces_, with its +dozen lines on Samuel Johnson (now omitting from page 11 the couplet on +Bute) which reveal no degree of intimacy, but do show respect and +admiration for him. + + * * * * * + +_The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette; or, Lord Chesterfield's Advice to his +Son, versified, By a Lady_, is both longer and later than _The Graces_; +unlike that poem, it remains anonymous. The lady versifier, though +somewhat repetitious in her matter (her defence would of course be that +she followed her source), cannot be accused of incompetence in her +prosody. Of the 366 lines, she has precious few which scan roughly or +rhyme inaccurately; those few come within legitimate poetic license--on +the whole, a slightly smoother versification than in Goldsmith's then +popular "Retaliation," dashed off in response to a jest at The Club but +not published until shortly after his death in 1774. Alike in verse +form, the two poems differ significantly in ideas and style; there the +discrepancy justifies the different fates of the two. In the poem here +reprinted, the only passage deserving individual comment is the anecdote +of Philip and the blanc mange (see pages 13 and 14). Lord Charlemont, in +the course of answering a query from Lord Bruce about young Stanhope's +character, recounts the incident, having had it from an eyewitness: the +food was baked gooseberries and whipped cream, and the Earl's comment, +"John, why do you not fetch the strop and the razors? you see your +master is going to shave himself" (_Charlemont MSS_., I, 327-328). + +The reviewers did little for _The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette_; most +ignored the pamphlet. _The Monthly Miscellany_ for June 1776 provided a +few kindly lines: "This didactic rhapsody, the precepts contained in +which are founded upon passages referred to in his Lordship's letters, +is written in hendecasyllable measure, and is not destitute of humour." +The _Monthly Review_ for the same month had less to say: "We should be +miserably deficient in the fine Gentleman's Etiquette, were we to +criticise a lady for employing her time as she pleases." + + * * * * * + +In one sense, both burlesquers hit the weak spot in Chesterfield's +_Letters_. Since his purpose is to entertain through exaggeration, a +parodist is not required to be fair or to distinguish between an editor +without judgment and the writer of intimate letters; so long as +something can be made ludicrous, 'twill suffice. Yet essentially the +burlesquers and many a critic then and since have missed what +Chesterfield was writing in his letters and living in his long life. +Blinded by the trivia inevitable in hundreds of letters carrying anxious +parental advice, the critics have too often ignored or misinterpreted +Chesterfield's passion for helping. He lavished countless hours, during +the busiest part of his life, writing to his son in an effort to round +out his education where it was distressingly deficient--not in +strengthening it where it was strong. The pattern of trying to help is +repeated: Chesterfield did his level best with his godson; he gave what +was seemly to his young friend Huntingdon and likewise to Solomon +Dayrolles. Five unpublished letters at Yale, to a Mr. Clements of +Dublin, repeat the formula on a minor scale, the fifty-five-year-old +earl laying out a plan of education for the family hopeful. +Chesterfield's interest to do good shows at its best in his too little +known letter to the Duke of Bedford condemning the brutal treatment of +French prisoners (Dobree, VI, 2960). These all reveal something more +praiseworthy in the man than the common interpretation of him. + +Refreshing, sophisticatedly unsophisticated, yet genuinely revealing of +Lord Chesterfield's character, are a half dozen unknown couplets which +almost summarize his philosophy of manners. Since his sense of humor can +be questioned only by those themselves blind and deaf to humor, his +dislike here for laughter should be taken for what he intends--disgust +at vacuous guffaws. The society he praises has fun without attendant +headaches or regrets. Surely, one could do worse than to be, with him, +"innocently gay." The verses appeared in the _London Chronicle_ for May +28-30, 1776; an autograph copy, said to be dated 1761 and forming part +of the Alfred Morrison collection, was sold at auction in 1918.[3] + + Let social mirth with gentle manners join, + Unstunned by laughter--uninflamed by wine; + Let Reason unimpaired exert its powers, + But let gay Fancy strew its way with flowers. + Far hence the Wag's and Witling's scurril jest, + Whose noise and nonsense shock the decent guest; + True Wit and Humour such low helps decline, + Nor will the Graces owe their charms to wine. + Fools fly to drink (in native dullness sunk) + In vain; they're ten times greater fools when drunk.-- + Thus, free from riot, innocently gay, + We'll neither wish, nor fear our final day. + + Sidney L. Gulick + San Diego State College + + + + +NOTES + + +Except for the title page of _The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette_, which +comes from the University of North Carolina. + +[1] See my _Chesterfield Bibliography to 1800_, Papers of the +Bibliographical Society of America, XXIX (1935), 68-70 and 82-89. + +[2] Mr. Cecil Price, of Aberystwyth University, called the _London +Chronicle_ item to my attention several years ago, pointing out that +Professor James L. Clifford had identified this reference at note 160 in +his edition of _Dr. Campbell's Diary_ (Cambridge, 1947). The _CBEL_ +lists _The Graces_ as by Woty, but without stating its authority. + +[3] The sale catalogue authenticates the poem here given by printing a +short passage from it (page 238, lot 1405; sold by Messrs. Sotheby, +Wilkinson, & Hodge; 18 April 1918). + + + + +NOTES TO _THE GRACES_ + +Full annotation is not intended, but identification of a few allusions +in this poem may be helpful. + + p. 4 Sir Fletcher Norton (1716-89), currently Speaker of the House of + Commons. + + Edward Thurlow (1731-1806), recently notable for successfully + opposing perpetual copyright. + + John Dunning (1731-83), lawyer and member of Parliament, Mrs. + Eugenia Stanhope's legal counsel when Chesterfield's executors + wished to stop publication of the letters. See my article, "The + Publication of Chesterfield's _Letters to his Son_," PMLA, LI + (March 1936), 171. + + p. 5 William Blackstone (1723-80), already a judge and the author + of the famous _Commentaries_. + + Schomberg (probably Isaac, 1714-80, rather than his twin brother + Raphael, 1714-92), Sir John Pringle (1707-82), and William + Bromfield (1712-92) were physicians, respectively, to Garrick, + King George III, and his Queen. + + p. 6 The current Bishop of Peterborough was Dr. John Hinchliffe + (1731-94). + + Hans Stanley (1720?-80), M.P., political and diplomatic figure. + + Great Tallboy--apparently Charles Talbot, twelfth Earl and only + Duke of Shrewsbury (1660-1718), "A man of great personal + attractions, ... called by Swift 'the favourite of the nation'" + (_Concise DNB_). + + Haslang--Joseph Xaver (ca 1700-83), Freiherr (later Graf) von + Haszlang, Bavarian minister to England 1741-83 (Yale _Walpole_, + IX, 185, n. 25). + + p. 9 Spranger Barry (1719-77), famous tragic actor, or possibly his + wife, Ann Spranger Barry (1734-1801). + + p. 12 John Hill (1716?-75), prolific compiler of works on varied + subjects; about a year previously he had been made knight of the + Swedish order of Vasa. + + + + + + THE + + GRACES: + + A + + POETICAL EPISTLE + + [Price One Shilling.] + + + + + [Illustration] + + THE + + GRACES: + + A + + POETICAL EPISTLE. + + FROM A + + GENTLEMAN TO HIS SON. + + LONDON: + + Printed for the AUTHOR, and Sold by W. FLEXNEY, in Holborn. + + MDCCLXXIV. + + + + +THE GRACES: + +A + +POETICAL EPISTLE. + + + Pride of my youth, and Comfort of my age! + To thee I consecrate this useful page. + Vers'd in the nicest arts of human kind, + To thee thy Parent pours forth all his mind; + And be it thine to treasure in thy heart + The grand _arcana_, which I now impart. + + As Health derives its most important charge, + More from the smaller vessels than the large, + On small events so man's success depends, + By these alone he gains the greatest ends; + And as he keeps this maxim, or forsakes, + A Trifle marrs him, or a Trifle makes. + + Court then the Graces, court! as I have done; + This rule adopt, or quit the name of Son. + This I will hollow constant in thy ear, + As loud as _Hotspur_ hollow'd _Mortimer_: + I would not keep a cat, or feed a bird, + That pip'd ungraceful, or ungraceful purr'd[1]. + + Let strict _Attention_ all your acts direct, + It wins Applause, as it denotes Respect. + Observe it in the most minute degree, + As well when _out_ of, as _in_ company. + Observe it even in the SHRINE OF EASE, + An error there the GODDESS may displease. + Learn what materials will your purpose fit, + And next enquire the _Quantum sufficit_; + That _quantum_ then in even folds dispose, + And wipe as cleanly, as you'd wipe your Nose. + In ev'ry circumstance, in ev'ry place, + The ease of Nature asks the ease of Grace. + What pity 'tis! a Gentleman can't send + This vulgar deed his Proxy to attend. + 'Tis quite _beneath_ the dignity of man, + So prithee, Child! avoid it--if you can; + But if it prove an irksome, windy war, + And nought, but vent, can terminate the jar; + _Distinct and graceful_, let th' explosion sound, + And fill with Harmony the sweet profound. + + Think not that Merit of itself can raise + Promotion's ladder, or the step of Praise[2]. + How came SIR FLETCHER in the Speaker's Chair! + Did Merit, or the Graces place him there. + Without the Graces what would THURLOE be! + THURLOE the Sage--a brief without a fee; + If more polite, perhaps he might be CHIEF, + And then he'd have the Fee without the Brief. + Say! was it Merit, like a blazing Star, + That first distinguish'd DUNNING at the Bar! + By Grace, and Attitude, the Prize he won, + For he and Grace, and Grace and he are one; + And whilst his rapid energy alarms, + The _Lawyer_ strikes us--but th' ADONIS charms. + + To Justice BLACKSTONE now direct your eyes, + With him in parts what other Justice vies! + 'Twas his to comment, his to analyze, + And draw the cobweb-curtain from our eyes; + Each legal winding nicely to explore, + And give to RUFUS one sound Lawyer more. + But what of that! he might have still retail'd + Inglorious Fees, had not his form prevail'd; + His gracious form, by Nature fram'd to please, + Which robs ANTINOUS of half his ease. + + To Physic now--that claims the second place. + SCHOMBERG has Skill, but PRINGLE has the Grace; + And yet--but how I know not--I protest, + THAT Schomberg's universally carest; + Hated perhaps--for taking NATURE'S part-- + By none, but the Professors of the ART. + + Tho' BROMFIELD operates as quick as thought, + His Fame and Judgment would be set at nought + Did not the sweetness of his soft Address, + That graceful mode he carves with, more or less, + Conduce to save his happy patient's life, + And make him look with pleasure at his knife. + + Thus with Divines. The multitude caress + The Preacher of the most expert Address. + 'Tis not the doctrine that the crowd revere, + They go to please the eye, and not the ear; + Hundreds, in spite of those who truly teach, + To ----[3] flock, tho' PETERBOROUGH preach. + + Think you (and this to CHATHAM I submit) + That parts superior rais'd the name of PITT! + No--'twas that elegant, HANS STANLEY Ease, + That manner soft, which could not fail to please; + That magic something, which yet wants a name, + And hands GREAT TALLBOY to immortal fame. + + Say! was it parts (tho' WALPOLE ne'er had more) + That held up NORTH amidst a factious roar! + With cautious eye the steady helm he guides, + And o'er the sea of state triumphant rides. + Firm, as the solid rock, that nobly braves + The raving fury of the lashing waves, + He stands--and mocks, un-conscious of a shame, + The voice of Clamour, and the lies of Fame. + But did th' exertion of his parts alone + Give, or deserve the favour of the throne! + Tho' blest with Goodness both of Heart and Head, + That goodness had remain'd inert and dead, + His well-earn'd consequence would ne'er maintain, + Were he not HASLANG'D in the Graces train. + + But now to more familiar rules I fall, + And beg you'll practise and observe 'em all. + When at the Play, be all alike serene, + Or at the tragic, or the comic scene. + Let Humour (GARRICK standing by her side) + With laughter loud plebeian mouths divide, + Whose ha! ha! ha's! the tender ear annoy. + Do thou disdain the coarse, unmeaning joy;[4] + Nor ope your lips, but purely to disclose + How white your teeth, how accurate the rows. + + When Tragedy puts on her sable stole, + Whose very looks convey her very soul; + Whose words a murderer's repose defeat, + And make a _Nabob_ shudder in his seat; + Whose plaintive tones can melt the worthy breast, + That ever melts, when Merit is distrest; + Who calls forth tears, of tears a copious store + From sullen eyes, that never wept before; + Tears that do honour to the human heart, + And such as BARRY can at will impart; + When such the sympathy (tho' ne'er so strong) + Ah! catch not thou th' effusion of the throng; + For if they see you shed one real tear, + The very men who shift the scenes will sneer. + + Now list attentive! list! whilst I unfold + A secret, that in verse has ne'er been told. + All think they know it, but 'tis known to few, + That is, how best to buckle on your shoe; + Tho' strong their judgment, and their fancy bright, + Ten do it wrong for one, who does it right. + On this side some, and some on that display + This useful ornament in awkward way. + But wiser thou! observe nor that, nor this, + Say what men will, both methods are amiss; + The _medium_ of the foot denotes the place, + Its proper fixture for external grace[5]. + + With all his open manliness of mind, + Where solid sense, and sterling wit are join'd, + In life poor _Classic_ never could advance, + The reason's plain--poor _Classic_ could not dance. + + How long in vain did learned JOHNSON toil! + And waste in busy thought the midnight oil: + Whose page the Critics ever must revere, + As long as genius is reputed dear, + Whose heart exults, or swells with honest rage, + As Vice, or Virtue marks the rising age; + Whose nervous writings shook the trump of Fame, + Yet left him nothing but a deathless name. + But when the features of each grace he wore, + And look'd as JOHNSON never look'd before, + Then came the meed, that honourable gain, + Which sheds such lustre over GEORGE'S Reign, + That meed, which no good man can wish remov'd, + Hinted by BUTE, by MAJESTY approv'd. + + Adieu! and let the Graces be your text,[6] + But I'll be more explicit in my next: + There will I teach thee, with a sire's concern, + All that is proper for a son to learn: + In pleasing segments how to pare your nails,[7] + Segments must please, as long as taste prevails. + The conduct of your breeches there make known, + How best to pull 'em up, and let 'em down. + Teach thee to handle with peculiar grace, + The snuff-box, toothpick, and the toothpick-case, + And how to cut and eat a currant tart, + Nor let your napkin, or your chin have part. + Once more, my Child! adieu! Remember me, + And ne'er, O ne'er forget the GRACES THREE! + Hug 'em as close, as, when he goes to rest, + HILL hugs his graceful _Order_ to his breast. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] The graceful manner of speaking is particularly what I shall always +hollow in your ear, as _Hotspur_ hollow'd _Mortimer_ to _Henry_ the +fourth, and like him, I have aimed to have a Starling taught to say, +"_Speak distinctly and_ _gracefully_," and send him you to replace your +loss of the unfortunate Matzell, who by the way, I am told, spoke his +language _distinctly and gracefully_. + +Lord Chesterfield's Letter to his Son, page 305. 4to. edit. 1st. Vol. + + +[2] I must repeat it to you over and over again, that with all the +knowledge which you may have at present, or hereafter acquire, and with +all the merit that ever man had, if you have not a graceful address, &c. +you will be nobody. Page 500, 1st. Vol. + +[3] The reader is desired to fill up this blank to his own mind. + +[4] You may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh, while you +live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and +ill-manners. It is the manner in which the mob express their silly joy +at silly things. In my mind there is nothing so illiberal and so +ill-bred as audible laughter. Page 268. + +[5] I am very glad you have received the diamond buckles safe. All I +desire in return for them is, that they may be buckled even upon your +foot, and that your stockings may not hide them. + +[6] The Graces, the Graces, remember the Graces. Page 390. + +[7] The ends of your nails should be small segments of circles, &c. +every time that you wipe your hands, rub the skin round your nails +backwards, that it may not grow up and shorten your nails too much. Vol. +II. page 60. + + + + +FINIS. + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD's + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + [Price One Shilling.] + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD's + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + By a LADY. + + [Illustration] + + LONDON: + + printed for T. DAVIES, in Russel-Street. + + M DCC LXXVI. + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD'S + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + + [a] "Sufficiently master of Latin and Greek," + You now, with the Graces, acquaintance must seek, + On Ida, we're told, the fair Goddesses dwell, + Invoke them by strong incantation, and spell, + Your incense once paid, on their candour rely, + "[b] With ardour pursu'd, they of course will comply; + "[c] So well know the poets their use my good friend, + "They make 'em, all three, upon Venus attend; + "And surely, if Venus, attractions cou'd need, + "Minerva, ungrac'd, cannot hope to succeed;" + Courage! mon garcon, throw the pedant aside, + And 'stead of friend [1]Harte, adopt me for your guide, + In courts, at ruells, you can ne'er hope to shine, + Unless with the virtues, the Graces combine: + [a] Page 5. second volume. + [b] Page 92. second volume. + [c] Page 33. ditto. + + I beg you'll acquire, or we ne'er shall agree, + The air, the _tournure, de la bonne compagnie_, + "[d] This soon among people of fash'on you'll catch, + "If careful you are, their behav'our to watch; + "Observe their address, and pray likewise contrive, + "Deep into the springs of their actions, to dive: + "'Bove all things, have art to discover each failing, + "Their merit particular, weakness prevailing; + "This accomplish'd, advantage you'll infinite reap, + "And may safe of their heads, and their hearts, take a peep." + Form friendships, but let it be only with those + On whose fond credulity you may impose; + Their confidence gain'd, unsuspected you'll soon, + Discover their secrets, and make them your own; + 'Tis of honor no breach, to betray thus a friend, + If you find, to your int'rest, 'twill visibly tend: + These maxims, thro' life, I wou'd have you pursue, + I practis'd them once, and now hand them to you; + Successful they were, they brought honors and fame, + For still I had art to preserve my good name; + "[e] 'Twere wrong to suppose, what the polish'd world say; + "That in manners, and carr'age, you're horrid _outré_;" + "Your air [2]Pollissôn, and the taste of your cloaths, + "Makes you pass for a Bourgeois that nobody knows; + "In short, that you want, since the truth I must own, + "[3]_Tous ces petits riens qui donnent le bon ton_." + "[f] I happen'd, by chance, to step in tother day, + "To a print-shop, that luckily, stood in my way, + "Where a print, for your use, I took pains to select, + "And hope to my taste, you will pay due respect; + "'Tis of drawing the school, from a famous design + "Of Carlo Marratti, who stood first in the line + "Of eminent painters, in Europe that drew," + Admir'd, by all lovers of taste, and Virtu: + "In the grey-headed sage the great master you see, + "His scholars he points to, in this you'll agree. + "Their several studies, on which he must speak, + "Are Perspective, Geometry, and statues antique:" + Of each, you a specimen fair will behold.-- + But matters, so obvious, you scarce need be told. + [d] Page 53. second volume. + [e] Page 17. second volume. + [f] Page 101. second volume. + + "On the two former subjects, be pleas'd to observe, + "That quantum sufficit, of either, will serve; + "With regard to the latter, he clearly hath shewn, + "That never enough on that head can be known:" + But now to my favourite, much admir'd theme, + For which, I the Artist, immortal esteem + To you, with instruction divine it is fraught, + Not Apelles could more have excell'd in the thought. + "At top of the piece, in the clouds you will see, + "With dignity seated, the Graces All Three; + "And over them written this sentence quite plain,-- + "Without us, depend on't, all labour is vain." + + "Thus much for description, the print I shall send, + "With all possible speed by the hands of a friend," + "And beg, adoration you will to it pay, + "Such as Catholics use to their saints when they pray: + "An ear, to my precepts, I hope you will lend, + "[g] Nor think, that those Graces, so oft' I commend, + "Must only [4]_les jours de grand Gala_ be worn, + "Since each word, and action, they're meant to adorn." + [g] Page 106. second volume. + + "Your coffee to see you ungracefully sip," + I know, beyond measure, would give me the hyp, + "If, by holding it aukward, your cloaths you should slop," + In a fit, off my chair, I shou'd suddenly drop; + Nor less shou'd I feel, were I destin'd to view, + "A button'd up coat, or a wry buckled shoe: + "Good God! how excessively shocking my doom, + "If when I first see you come into my room; + "[h] Two aukward left legs, and a taylor-like air, + "My sight shou'd accost,"--by the Graces I swear, + All ties of affinity I shou'd disclaim, + And deem you, henceforth, a disgrace to my name. + [h] Page 218. second volume. + + "Your dress to correct, and your carriage to mend, + "Let _le Tailleur_, and what's more [5]_Marcel_ stand your friend; + "_Marcel_, I'm persuaded, will soon teach you how, + "To turn out your toes, and to make a good bow; + "Nor do I despair, but he'll fashon outright, + "Your arms too, and legs, which are both in sad plight: + "Attend on his lessons, with diligent care, + "Of him you'll acquire, _tous les Graces, les manieres_;" + More useful, than classical knowledge, this art + "To deceive, we must first gain access to the heart; + "[i] The heart once engag'd," mind your mood, and your tense, + "And I'll venture my life you impose on the sense; + "This doctrine is orthodox, practis'd by me, + "--Address, is with Statesmen, the true master-key. + "[j] I greatly am chagrin'd, to find that you still + "Are absent, distrait, and present yourself ill," + "That napkin, and bread, your knife, fork, and spoon, + "Where ever you dine, are thrown constantly down;" + To the infinite terror, I'm sorry to say, + Of the company's legs, that within their reach lay: + "Your dress and your person, you likewise neglect," + A proof that my counsel you mean to reject; + From which I infer, that you ne'er will acquire, + "That _tournure_, those Graces," I so much admire: + "With the dead, I a thousand times better am pleas'd, + "Than a man who with fits of distraction is seiz'd; + "For tho' the defunct, no amusement can give, + "From him I no mark of contempt shall receive; + "So absent you seem, I am led to surmize, + "You seldom make use of your ears or your eyes; + "It therefore seems highly expedient to me, + "A flapper shou'd rouze you from this reverie;" + "But mark, on the subject, a word _entres nous_-- + "For this new domestic I pay not a sous: + "That office, friend [6]Christian, must gratis discharge," + Nor suffer you, solus, to wander at large, + Least strangers, that seldom their censure restrain, + Viva voce, shou'd deem you--a person insane: + "The use of those flappers, in Swift you may read, + "Of them the Laputans, your allies, stood in need; + "Whose minds, like to yours, by intense speculations, + "Were too much ingross'd to have useful sensations; + "And but for those flappers, I think there's no doubt + "Their brains 'gainst the posts, they had fairly beat out;" + The sum of my doctrine is [7]_point des grimaces + Et point de distraction, mais souvenir les graces_. + "[k] If you, at my table, shou'd meet Mr. L. + "A fatal catastrophy I can foretell," + "Your heads, 'gainst each other, you'll merciless hit, + "And you'll haggle your fingers, instead of the meat; + "'Tis probable too," this deponent here saith, + "You both, may in winter, be scalded to death, + "By th'hasty infusion of soup boiling hot;"-- + But more, on this head, this deponent says not. + [i] Page 227. second volume. + [j] Page 216. ditto. + [k] Page 262. second volume. + + I oft' from my memory seek to erase + An hour, unto you, big with shame and disgrace; + But vain the attempt, it will uppermost be, + Good heav'n forefend! I the like shou'd e'er see: + For certain it is, as I now am alive, + Another such shock I cou'd never survive: + [8]The fact I allude to you'll easily guess, + 'Twas when with some friends of esteem'd _politesse_, + With me you once din'd, to my grief be it said, + And no little hole in your manners then made: + _Blanche mange_, which you doat on, was part of our fare, + Abhorr'd! be the minute, when first it came there.-- + Henceforth, for your sake, I _Blanche mange_ shall detest, + 'Tho of colour the whitest, and flavour the best; + For when, you close siege, to a pyramid laid, + No respect was to persons, or decency paid: + You not only ate, 'till you cou'd eat no more, + But with it, disfigur'd your visage all o'er: + Your portrait was that, if a likeness you'd have, + Of a man ready lather'd, just going to shave: + Transported with rage, I cou'd scarce keep my seat, + And words, only found, to advise a retreat; + And order your servant to wash your face clean, + Since so dirty a spectacle never was seen: + Where then were the Graces?--that hour sound they slept, + Or else on mount Ida a jubilee kept. + + To acquire the _bon ton_, and excel in address, + Are points upon which I must ever lay stress; + So useful they are, of importance so great, + You'll find 'em, through life, so essential a bait; + That without them as soon may you hope to succeed, + As a man teach the Classicks that never could read: + My counsel is sterling, pray bear it in mind, + A Statesman I was, and belov'd by mankind; + In pleasure, or bus'ness, _les grace_, _les manieres_, + Ensure one success, with the grave, or the fair. + + "Your manners to polish, and time to amuse, + "I hope you have chosen a good [9]_décrotteuse_; + "[l] While aukward and gauche, which at present I fear" + You must not, the hem of my garment come near; + "Great merit esteem will procure it is true, + "But merit alone, be assur'd will not do. + "[m] Your riding and dancing I hope will conduce + "To fash'on your limbs, and to teach them their use;" + I'd have you describ'd, by your air _degagée_, + In order to which, _il vous faut dégourdis_,[10] + Of women, you best, _les agrément_ will learn, + But be sure, in your choice, that you rightly discern, + 'Twixt the dissolute fair, that wou'd ruin your fame, + And her, that real lustre will add to your name: + My joy were compleat, could I hear the world say, + Ah! _comme il est galant ce petit Anglois_! + [l] Page 92. second volume. + [m] Page 18. ditto. + + "[n] At Paris arriv'd, you must take 'special care, + "To dress as the people of fash'on do there; + "This does not in finery so much consist, + "As the manner of wearing your cloaths, and the taste. + "Employ the best taylor the place will afford, + "Since much will depend on your _premier abord_, + [11]_Comme un homme du grand monde il vous faut habillé_[B] + [12]_Toûjours à la mode, et bien proprement mis_: + "Pray find a good _frisieur_ to do your hair well, + "Since that of your dress, is a part material: + "[o] Apropos, of your legs,--garter well up your hose, + "Lest careless they hang o'er the tops of your shoes; + "For nought gives a man a more slovenly air, + "Than aukward dress'd legs, and a rough head of hair + "[p] Be powder'd, be feather'd, be lac'd I entreat," + From the crown of your head, to the soles of your feet; + They must not of fashion, an atom neglect, + That hope, from the women, to challenge respect; + "Whose suffrage to gain, I must beg you'll aspire, + "Since only of them you can lustre acquire." + [n] Page 73. third volume. + [o] Page 220. second volume. + [p] Page 332. second volume. + + "[q] My diamond buckles I fully propose, + "Your feet shall adorn, mine they now wou'd expose;" + "Of all things in nature I mostly abhor," + A Beau, on the verge, of years fifty and four: + Accept them, I beg, with injunction severe, + "[r] To buckle them straight," since to me 'tis not clear, + But one on the outside your foot may be plac'd, + And one on the in, as a proof of your taste; + If this, of a certainty, I cou'd but know, + Without shoes, or buckles, for me you should go. + [q] Page 181. ditto. + [r] Page 66. third volume. + + "[s] Of swords, canes, and snuff boxes, might I advise, + "If elegant, one may of each well suffice:" + There are, who will lavish, on baubles like these, + A sum wou'd procure independence and ease: + Such Beings, alas! not a shilling would lend, + To save from despair, a poor indigent friend: + Oh! shut not your ear, 'gainst the cry of distress, + May the sense of their woes, prove their means of redress: + Tho' chance, in your favour, some difference has made, + No distinction to rank, will hereafter be paid: + Sufficient that thought, human pride to subdue, + Pray let it not pass unregarded by you. + [s] Page 220. second volume. + + "[t] [13]_Comment vont les Graces_, prithee how do they fare, + "Of them have you studied [14]_le grand art de plaire_? + "If you, in the _beau monde_, success would ensure, + "[u] In your manners attend to a certain _douceur_: + "The French, this _douceur_, do most highly esteem, + "'Tis in short [15]_l'aimable, le tout chose_ with them; + Acquire it, dear Phil, or I fair warning give,-- + I ne'er wish to see you as long as you live. + [t] Page 153. third volume. + [u] Page 108. third volume. + + "[v] In your person be cleanly, I humbly intreat, + "And attend to your teeth, that your breath may be sweet, + "Your nails too keep par'd, I outrageous should be, + "If them, tipt with black, I should happen to see. + "By you, may these hints, not improper be held, + "[w] Since once, 'bove your fellows, in dirt you excell'd; + "And oft', when a lad, have you suffer'd disgrace, + "For neglecting to wash both your hands, and your face:" + 'Tho trifling these matters, to you, may appear, + With me, they weigh more than the gold of Ophir; + Since a dunce well accomplish'd more merit can boast, + Than a book-worm that smells of the deep college rust. + A father, I am, to your faults nothing blind, + And claim a free licence for speaking my mind; + "By this lecture on cleanliness, all I propose is, + "[x] That you may not offend peoples eyes, or their noses." + [v] Page 74. third volume. + [w] Page 74. ditto. + [x] Page 182. second volume. + + "[y] A bill I receiv'd, but the truth to confess, + "It puzzl'd me much at the drawer to guess; + "No advice you had given of such an intent, + "From which I suspected, a fraud might be meant; + "Since always in matters of business, like these, + "'Tis usual the party in time to apprize: + "And what more confirmed these suspicions, my friend, + "It did not appear to have ever been sign'd: + "The person that brought it, desir'd me to look, + "Again at the bottom, where what I mistook + "For somebody's mark, by the help of a glass, + "Your name really prov'd,--to my sorrow, alas! + "Since wrote in a hand, both the worst, and the least, + "In my life I beheld, it must needs be confess'd: + "And rather, by far, I'd have lost the whole sum, + "Than such a vile scrawl from your hand should have come. + [y] Page 113. third volume. + + [z] In spelling, my son, I shall give you your due, + For so great a proficient on _yearth_ I ne'er knew; + "_Enduce_, for induce, you now actually spell, + "For grandeur, _grandure_, which to you sounds as well; + "Two capital blunders, I beg you will note, + "Since few of my house-maids such stuff wou'd have wrote:" + To give my ideas at once their full scope, + Your progress in nonsense, inclines me to hope, + That soon an epistle, from you I shall see, + Wherein will be spelt the word joy with a g. + [z] Page 81. third volume. + + [a] I well am inform'd, there is still in your speech, + "A most disagreeable hobble, or hitch;" + Not yet to have conquer'd bad habits, dear Phil, + With me, needs must wear the appearance of ill; + Still falsely attach'd to the errors of youth, + Still aukward in manners, in speech still uncouth: + I dare not the flattering hope entertain, + That you, as an orator, credit will gain; + If so, to my pride 'twill an overthrow be, + And certain disgrace must accrue unto thee: + "[b] At Athens, to orat'ry, such the respect, + "That of it, herb women, were judges correct:" + But lest my assertion with you shou'd want weight, + I'll venture a story in point to relate: + [a] Page 42. ditto. + [b] Page 43. third volume. + + _Theophrastus_, at _Athens_, one day in the street, + By chance, with an herb-woman, happen'd to meet; + A question he ask'd: he not speaking Greek pure, + A _stranger_ she call'd him,--of this I am sure, + Thou art not of _Athens_, a city renown'd, + For oratory, elegance, learning profound: + Her judgment I praise, not mistaken was she, + It prov'd, that of _Athens_, no native was he: + Apply to yourself, what above I have wrote, + That you, thro' neglect, may no stranger be thought: + I ne'er can the study enough recommend, + Your fortune, and character, on it depend; + My protection you'll forfeit, the truth I must speak, + [c] Unless you a figure in Parliament make. + [c] Page 283. second volume. + + "[d] On carving, a hint I shall venture to give, + "Attention it claims, ev'ry day that you live: + "Do you carve with _adroitness_, the truth prithee own, + "Without hacking, at least half an hour cross a bone: + "Or spatt'ring the sauce in your company's faces, + "And into their pockets o'erturning the glasses;" + While labouring you seem, and at no common rate, + With your sleeve, all the time, in your next neighbour's plate? + Such aukward behaviour admits no excuse, + 'Tis avoided with ease, by attention and use; + I therefore shall hope, that e'er this you are able, + To acquit yourself well at the head of a table: + The reverse shou'd it prove (which good heav'n avert) + Believe me, the shock, I but ill could support; + To find you _distrait_, aukward, clumsy, ill-bred, + And only in books, not in manners well read; + I frankly confess, I shall wish from my soul, + We two may be distant, as South from North pole. + [d] Page 68. ditto. + + With regard to your gallantry, much has been said, + 'Tho silence profound, you observe on that head, + "[e] Your converse with women, respectful must be, + "But likewise observe _au meme temps enjoué_: + "[f] On score of their beauty, good sense, or their graces, + "The sex you may flatter, all times, in all cases; + "They love admiration, and think it can ne'er, + "On any conditions be purchas'd too dear: + "These hints from the sex, must with care be conceal'd, + "No mercy expect if they once are reveal'd;" + Revenge is their passion, and well I discern, + "[g] Like Orpheus, in pieces, by them you'd be torn:" + "[h] One maxim pray treasure as long as you live, + "No mark of contempt either sex will forgive; + "The vanity flatter'd of women, or men, + "Ensures you success with just nine out of ten:" + [e] Page 332. second volume. + [f] Page 57. ditto. + [g] Page 57. second volume. + [h] Page 178. third volume. + + Resolve me a question I wish much to know, + "[i] Your passion, how stands it, for _Madame de Blot_? + "Does she list to your tale, are there hopes of success? + "To me, you the secret, may safely confess: + "On giving the _mohair_, occasion will serve, + "_Pour faire le galant_, which you'll doubtless observe;" + Te Deum I'll sing when the vict'ry is sure,-- + 'Tho much I suspect you'll not prove her _meilcour_; + "She, constant has been to her husband, they say, + "And married, poor soul! 'bove a year and a day;" + Small chance do you stand with a woman so chaste,-- + Exclude her, at once, from the region of taste + A beauty obdurate, to lovers a score! + At Paris, the thing was ne'er heard of before; + By you, if the willow, for her must be worn, + No French woman she, in her heart, I'll be sworn. + [i] Page 351. second volume. + + "In all that you do, and whatever you say, + "I hope, to the Graces, you sacrifice pay, + "Assiduously courted, their favour you'll gain," + So shall not, my labour of love, "be in vain." + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] Mr. _Harte_, Mr. _Stanhope_'s tutor. + +[2] Slovenly air. + +[3] Those little nothings that give the ton. + +[4] High Court, or Jubilee Days. + +[5] A famous dancing master at that time in Paris. + +[6] Mr. Stanhope's gentleman. + +[7] No distortion of countenance, or aukward behaviour; no absence of +mind; but to keep the Graces always in remembrance. + +[8] Mr. Stanhope dined one day with some company at his father's, when +the following circumstance happen'd, which so much enrag'd him, that he +called for his servant to take him from table and wash him clean. + +[9] A female polisher of manners. + +[10] Have your stiffness remov'd. + +[11] You should dress like a man of the great world. + +[12] Always in the fashion, and your cloaths well put on. + +[13] What success with the Graces. + +[14] The great art of pleasing. + +[15] The amiable, the every thing. + + + + +FINIS. + + + + + William Andrews Clark Memorial Library: University of California + + THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + + _General Editors_ + + R.C. Boys + University of Michigan + + Ralph Cohen + University of California, Los Angeles + + Vinton A. Dearing + University of California, Los Angeles + + Lawrence Clark Powell + Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library + + _Corresponding Secretary_: Mrs. Edna C. Davis, Wm. Andrews Clark + Memorial Library + + +The Society's purpose is to publish reprints (usually facsimile +reproductions) of rare seventeenth and eighteenth century works. All +income of the Society is devoted to defraying costs of publication and +mailing. + +Correspondence concerning subscriptions in the United States and Canada +should be addressed to the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library, 2205 +West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles 18, California. Correspondence +concerning editorial matters may be addressed to any of the general +editors. The membership fee is $4.00 a year for subscribers in the +United States and Canada and 15/-for subscribers in Great Britain and +Europe. British and European subscribers should address B.H. Blackwell, +Broad Street, Oxford, England. + + +Publications for the fourteenth year (1959-1960) + +Six items, most of them from the following list, will be reprinted. + +_Two Burlesques of Chesterfield_ (1774, 1776). Selected, with an +introduction, by Sidney Gulick. Richard Savage, _An Author to be Let_ +(1732). Introduction by James Sutherland. William Herbert, Third Earl of +Pembroke. _Poems_ (1660). Introduction by Gaby Onderwyzer. Francis +Hutcheson, _Reflections on Laughter_ (1729). Introduction by Scott +Elledge. _Eighteenth-Century Newspaper Essays on the Theatre._ Selected, +with an introduction, by John Loftis. [Peter Whalley] _An Essay on the +Manner of Writing History_ (1746). Introduction by Keith Stewart. +_Sawney and Colley_ [1742] and other Pope pamphlets. Edited, with an +introduction, by W. Powell Jones. Henry Fuseli, _Remarks on the Writings +and Conduct of J. J. Rousseau_ (1767). Introduction by Karl S. Guthke. +[Charles Croke] _Fortune's Uncertainty_ (1667). Introduction by William +Matthews. + +Single copies of past publications, except those which are out of print, +are available at $.75 each. A list of publications in print may be +obtained by writing to the Society. + + +THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY _WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY_ +2205 West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles 18, California + +Make check or money order payable to The Regents of the University of +California. + + + * * * * * + + + +Transcriber's Notes + +A. "The Graces" + +On p. 2, extra quotation mark deleted in the phrase "speak distinctly +and gracefully" in footnote 1. + +On page 7, "observe e'm all" has been amended to "observe 'em all". + +On p. 21 The redundant double quotation mark after "_grandure_," has been +deleted. + + +B. "The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette" + +These typos have been amended: + +On p. 7, "supprose" has been amended to +"suppose". + +On p. 20, "you hand" has been amended to "your hand". + +This poem makes much use of quotation marks. It is not always certain +that they have been put in the correct place, but they have been left +unchanged. + +In "The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette", there are two sets of footnotes. +One set, which contains references to Chesterfield's Letters, is +anchored with lower-case alphabetic characters, and placed after the +relevant paragraph. The second set is anchored with Arabic numerals and +placed at the end of the poem. + +In footnote 4 the word "days" had "s" printed in reverse. This is now +printed the right way round. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's +Letters., by Anonymous + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO BURLESQUES OF LORD *** + +***** This file should be named 38149-8.txt or 38149-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/1/4/38149/ + +Produced by Tor Martin Kristiansen, Margo Romberg, Joseph +Cooper and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's Letters. + The Graces (1774), The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette (1776) + +Author: Anonymous + +Editor: Sidney L. Gulick + +Release Date: November 27, 2011 [EBook #38149] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO BURLESQUES OF LORD *** + + + + +Produced by Tor Martin Kristiansen, Margo Romberg, Joseph +Cooper and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. --> +<p> +<a href="#INTRODUCTION"><b>INTRODUCTION</b></a><br /> +<a href="#NOTES"><b>NOTES</b></a><br /> +<a href="#NOTES_TO_THE_GRACES"><b>NOTES TO THE GRACES</b></a><br /> +<a href="#THE_GRACES"><b>THE_GRACES</b></a><br /> +<a href="#FINE_GENTLEMAN"><b>THE_FINE_GENTLEMAN'S_ETIQUETTE</b></a><br /> +<br /><br /></p> +<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. --> + + + + + +<h2><span class="smcap">The Augustan Reprint Society</span></h2> + +<h1>TWO BURLESQUES OF<br /> +LORD CHESTERFIELD'S LETTERS<br /><br /> +THE GRACES (1774)<br /> +THE FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE (1776)<br /><br /></h1> + +<h5>Edited, with an Introduction, by<br /> +Sidney L. Gulick<br /><br /></h5> + +<p class="center">Publication Number 81</p> + +<p class="center">William Andrews Clark Memorial Library<br /> +University of California<br /> +Los Angeles<br /> +1960<br /><br /> +</p> + + + +<h3>GENERAL EDITORS</h3> + +<p class="center">Richard C. Boys, <i>University of Michigan</i><br /> +Ralph Cohen, <i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><br /> +Vinton A. Dearing, <i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><br /> +Lawrence Clark Powell, <i>Clark Memorial Library</i><br /> +<br /></p> + + +<h4>ASSISTANT EDITOR</h4> + +<p class="center">W. Earl Britton, <i>University of Michigan</i><br /><br /></p> + + +<h4>ADVISORY EDITORS</h4> + +<p class="center">Emmett L. Avery, <i>State College of Washington</i><br /> +Benjamin Boyce, <i>Duke University</i><br /> +Louis Bredvold, <i>University of Michigan</i><br /> +John Butt, <i>King's College, University of Durham</i><br /> +James L. Clifford, <i>Columbia University</i><br /> +Arthur Friedman, <i>University of Chicago</i><br /> +Louis A. Landa, <i>Princeton University</i><br /> +Samuel H. Monk, <i>University of Minnesota</i><br /> +Ernest C. Mossner, <i>University of Texas</i><br /> +James Sutherland, <i>University College, London</i><br /> +H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., <i>University of California, Los Angeles</i><br /><br /> +</p> + + +<h4>CORRESPONDING SECRETARY</h4> + +<p class="center">Edna C. Davis, <i>Clark Memorial Library</i><br /></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_i" id="Page_i">[Pg i]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="INTRODUCTION" id="INTRODUCTION"></a>INTRODUCTION</h2> + + +<p>Even though the disasters which overtook John Stubbs and William Prynne +in the days of Elizabeth and Charles I no longer faced the pamphleteer, +the eighteenth century saw many an anonymous publication, for while +hands and ears were less in jeopardy, author and publisher might well +suffer imprisonment, as William Cooley and the printer of the Daily Post +learned in the winter of 1740-41, and John Wilkes in the 1760's. One can +understand why, despite the absence of personal danger, a public figure +like Lord Chesterfield should yet conceal his connection with a piece on +the Hanoverian troops, or why Horace Walpole might often not put his +name to an item listed in his Short Notes of his life or young Boswell +to his communications to the press. Indeed, many an innocuous writing +appeared anonymously, for the bashful author, protected against the +miseries of conspicuous failure, could always shyly acknowledge a +successful production. Later, perchance, it could appear in his +collected works.</p> + +<p class="para2">The two pieces here reprinted, typical verse pamphlets of the 1770's, +illustrate both a type of writing and an age. The subject of both is +contemporary—the best-selling <i>Letters to his Son</i> of Lord +Chesterfield. The method falls between burlesque and caricature; the aim +is amusement; the substance is negligible. Neither poem made more than a +ripple on publication, neither initiated a critical fashion, and neither +survived in its own right, yet each has merit enough to justify +inclusion today in such a series as the Augustan reprints.</p> + +<p class="para2">Chesterfield's <i>Letters to his Son</i>, the subject of these two +burlesques, were announced as published on April 7, 1774, scarcely a +year after his death; that they became an immediate best seller, every +schoolboy knows. Reaction to the letters took several modes of +expression. These included comments in conversation by Dr. Johnson and +by George III, as reported by Boswell and by Fanny Burney; in letters, +from Walpole, Mrs. Delaney, Voltaire, and Mrs. Montagu; and in diaries, +such as those of Fanny Burney and John Wesley. Reviewers sprang to words +if not into action. Entire books came to the defence of morality. A +sermon announced "The Unalterable Nature of Vice and Virtue" (a second +edition placed Virtue before Vice); the <i>Monthly Review</i> for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_ii" id="Page_ii">[Pg ii]</a></span> December +1775 praised it: "This sensible and well written discourse is chiefly +directed against the letters of the late Lord Chesterfield, though his +Lordship is not mentioned." All of these approached the subject +directly. Indirect reactions included an ironic <i>Apology for Mrs. +Stanhope</i> (the son's widow, who had sold the letters to James Dodsley +the publisher for £1575 and was represented as the editor), two novels +showing the pernicious effects of the Chesterfieldean "system"—<i>The +Pupil of Pleasure</i>, by Courtney Melmoth (Samuel Jackson Pratt), and <i>The +Two Mentors</i>, by Clara Reeve—and a parody by Horace Walpole of the +first three letters (published years later in his <i>Works</i>). The +<i>Westminster Magazine</i> carried a "Petition of the Women of Pleasure" and +the <i>London Chronicle</i> a farcical skit on Lord Chesterfield's refined +manners.<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> In a play called <i>The Cozeners</i>, Samuel Foote took advantage +of current interest in Chesterfield to ridicule the graces. Not the +least interesting examples of the indirect reaction to the <i>Letters</i> are +the two verse caricatures or burlesques here reprinted.</p> + +<p>The earlier of the two poems, <i>The Graces</i>, bears the date 1774 on the +title page. A second edition of 1775 at first glance appears to be a +reissue with new title page, but minor changes and the straightedge test +are evidence of resetting. The authorship was soon known: <i>The London +Chronicle</i> for February 16-18, quoting 88 lines of the total 170 and +working from the first edition, mentioned that the piece was written by +Mr. Woty, but so far as bibliography was concerned this attribution +remained hidden until recently, for Woty's obituary in the <i>Gentleman's +Magazine</i> for March 1791 omitted mention of <i>The Graces</i>, as did the +<i>DNB</i> and its additional sources, John Nichols' <i>Leicestershire</i> and +David Erskine Baker's <i>Biographia Dramatica</i> (1812 ed.).<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> That Woty +did indeed write <i>The Graces</i> one may assume from his including it in +1780, with minor changes, in <i>Poems on Several Occasions</i>. He too used +the first edition.</p> + +<p>Of William Woty's life little need be said; the <i>DNB</i>, relying +essentially on the <i>Gentleman's Magazine</i>, gives the salient events: +after preparing to enter the law, he became companion and a kind of +legal secretary to Washington, Earl Ferrers, who prior to his death in +1778 made Woty independent by establishing an annuity of £150 for him. +His first book of verse was <i>The Sporting Club</i>, 1758; the next, <i>The +Shrubs of Parnassus</i>, by "James Copywell,"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_iii" id="Page_iii">[Pg iii]</a></span> he published in 1760. Two +others, which he acknowledged, followed in the next three years; then in +1763 he joined Francis Fawkes in editing <i>The Poetical Calendar</i>, in 12 +volumes, to which Samuel Johnson contributed a character sketch of +William Collins (Boswell's <i>Life</i>, ed. Hill-Powell, I, 382). In 1770, +Woty issued a two-volume <i>Poetical Works</i>. The <i>Gentleman's Magazine</i>, +mentioning four other publications from 1770 to 1775, adds, "and some +other miscellaneous pieces since that time." These, possibly unnamed +because published outside of London, included <i>Poems on Several +Occasions</i>, Derby, 1780 (in which, as noted above, he reprinted <i>The +Graces</i>), <i>Fugitive and Original Poems</i>, Derby, 1786, and <i>Poetical +Amusements</i>, Nottingham, 1789. "Mr. W. was a true <i>bon vivant</i>," the +notice continues, "but by a too great indulgence of his passion for +conviviality and society he unfortunately injured his constitution." He +died in March 1791, "aged about 60."</p> + +<p class="para2">Woty seems to have been on the periphery of Samuel Johnson's list of +acquaintances. Under what circumstances Johnson agreed to write the +sketch of Collins for the <i>Poetical Calendar</i>, Boswell does not +specify—whether for Woty or for Fawkes or for J. Coote, the +publisher—but write it he did. The index to the Hill-Powell Boswell +lists Woty (and Fawkes) only in this connection, but someone had +sufficient interest with the lexicographer to induce him to subscribe to +Woty's anonymous <i>Shrubs of Parnassus</i>, 1760; the subscription list of +some 500 names includes not only Samuel Johnson, A.M., but David +Garrick, Mr. William Mason, Dr. Smollett, Mr. Strahan, and Mr. Newbery, +of St. Paul's Church Yard, who bought 6 books—not unnaturally, for he +was the publisher. A decade later, the subscribers to <i>The Poetical +Works of William Woty</i> included James Boswell, Esq., George Colman, +Esq., Mr. Garrick, Dr. Johnson, and this time for but one set, Mr. +Newbery. After still another decade, when Woty published in Derby his +<i>Poems on Several Occasions</i>, the list of subscribers included none of +these names, even though this collection included <i>The Graces</i>, with its +dozen lines on Samuel Johnson (now omitting from page 11 the couplet on +Bute) which reveal no degree of intimacy, but do show respect and +admiration for him.</p> + +<p><i>The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette; or, Lord Chesterfield's Advice to his +Son, versified, By a Lady</i>, is both longer and later than <i>The Graces</i>; +unlike that poem, it remains anonymous. The<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_iv" id="Page_iv">[Pg iv]</a></span> lady versifier, though +somewhat repetitious in her matter (her defence would of course be that +she followed her source), cannot be accused of incompetence in her +prosody. Of the 366 lines, she has precious few which scan roughly or +rhyme inaccurately; those few come within legitimate poetic license—on +the whole, a slightly smoother versification than in Goldsmith's then +popular "Retaliation," dashed off in response to a jest at The Club but +not published until shortly after his death in 1774. Alike in verse +form, the two poems differ significantly in ideas and style; there the +discrepancy justifies the different fates of the two. In the poem here +reprinted, the only passage deserving individual comment is the anecdote +of Philip and the blanc mange (see pages 13 and 14). Lord Charlemont, in +the course of answering a query from Lord Bruce about young Stanhope's +character, recounts the incident, having had it from an eyewitness: the +food was baked gooseberries and whipped cream, and the Earl's comment, +"John, why do you not fetch the strop and the razors? you see your +master is going to shave himself" (<i>Charlemont MSS</i>., I, 327-328).</p> + +<p class="para2">The reviewers did little for <i>The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette</i>; most +ignored the pamphlet. <i>The Monthly Miscellany</i> for June 1776 provided a +few kindly lines: "This didactic rhapsody, the precepts contained in +which are founded upon passages referred to in his Lordship's letters, +is written in hendecasyllable measure, and is not destitute of humour." +The <i>Monthly Review</i> for the same month had less to say: "We should be +miserably deficient in the fine Gentleman's Etiquette, were we to +criticise a lady for employing her time as she pleases."</p> + +<p>In one sense, both burlesquers hit the weak spot in Chesterfield's +<i>Letters</i>. Since his purpose is to entertain through exaggeration, a +parodist is not required to be fair or to distinguish between an editor +without judgment and the writer of intimate letters; so long as +something can be made ludicrous, 'twill suffice. Yet essentially the +burlesquers and many a critic then and since have missed what +Chesterfield was writing in his letters and living in his long life. +Blinded by the trivia inevitable in hundreds of letters carrying anxious +parental advice, the critics have too often ignored or misinterpreted +Chesterfield's passion for helping. He lavished countless hours, during +the busiest part of his life, writing to his son in an effort to round +out his education where it was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_v" id="Page_v">[Pg v]</a></span> distressingly deficient—not in +strengthening it where it was strong. The pattern of trying to help is +repeated: Chesterfield did his level best with his godson; he gave what +was seemly to his young friend Huntingdon and likewise to Solomon +Dayrolles. Five unpublished letters at Yale, to a Mr. Clements of +Dublin, repeat the formula on a minor scale, the fifty-five-year-old +earl laying out a plan of education for the family hopeful. +Chesterfield's interest to do good shows at its best in his too little +known letter to the Duke of Bedford condemning the brutal treatment of +French prisoners (Dobree, VI, 2960). These all reveal something more +praiseworthy in the man than the common interpretation of him.</p> + +<p>Refreshing, sophisticatedly unsophisticated, yet genuinely revealing of +Lord Chesterfield's character, are a half dozen unknown couplets which +almost summarize his philosophy of manners. Since his sense of humor can +be questioned only by those themselves blind and deaf to humor, his +dislike here for laughter should be taken for what he intends—disgust +at vacuous guffaws. The society he praises has fun without attendant +headaches or regrets. Surely, one could do worse than to be, with him, +"innocently gay." The verses appeared in the <i>London Chronicle</i> for May +28-30, 1776; an autograph copy, said to be dated 1761 and forming part +of the Alfred Morrison collection, was sold at auction in 1918.<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a></p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">Let social mirth with gentle manners join,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Unstunned by laughter—uninflamed by wine;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Let Reason unimpaired exert its powers,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">But let gay Fancy strew its way with flowers.<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Far hence the Wag's and Witling's scurril jest,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Whose noise and nonsense shock the decent guest;<br /></span> +<span class="i0">True Wit and Humour such low helps decline,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Nor will the Graces owe their charms to wine.<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Fools fly to drink (in native dullness sunk)<br /></span> +<span class="i0">In vain; they're ten times greater fools when drunk.—<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Thus, free from riot, innocently gay,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">We'll neither wish, nor fear our final day.<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">Sidney L. Gulick</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 16em;">San Diego State College</span><br /> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_vi" id="Page_vi">[Pg vi]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<div class="footnotes"><h2><a name="NOTES" id="NOTES"></a>NOTES</h2> + + +<p class="center">Except for the title page of <i>The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette</i>, which +comes from the University of North Carolina. +</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> See my <i>Chesterfield Bibliography to 1800</i>, Papers of the +Bibliographical Society of America, XXIX (1935), 68-70 and 82-89.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Mr. Cecil Price, of Aberystwyth University, called the +<i>London Chronicle</i> item to my attention several years ago, pointing out +that Professor James L. Clifford had identified this reference at note +160 in his edition of <i>Dr. Campbell's Diary</i> (Cambridge, 1947). The +<i>CBEL</i> lists <i>The Graces</i> as by Woty, but without stating its +authority.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> The sale catalogue authenticates the poem here given by +printing a short passage from it (page 238, lot 1405; sold by Messrs. +Sotheby, Wilkinson, & Hodge; 18 April 1918).</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="NOTES_TO_THE_GRACES" id="NOTES_TO_THE_GRACES"></a>NOTES TO <i>THE GRACES</i></h2> + +<p class="center">Full annotation is not intended, but identification of a few allusions +in this poem may be helpful.</p> + +<blockquote><p>p. 4 Sir Fletcher Norton (1716-89), currently Speaker of the +House of Commons.</p> + +<p>Edward Thurlow (1731-1806), recently notable for successfully +opposing perpetual copyright.</p> + +<p>John Dunning (1731-83), lawyer and member of Parliament, Mrs. +Eugenia Stanhope's legal counsel when Chesterfield's executors +wished to stop publication of the letters. See my article, "The +Publication of Chesterfield's <i>Letters to his Son</i>," PMLA, LI +(March 1936), 171.</p> + +<p>p. 5 William Blackstone (1723-80), already a judge and the +author of the famous <i>Commentaries</i>.</p> + +<p>Schomberg (probably Isaac, 1714-80, rather than his twin +brother Raphael, 1714-92), Sir John Pringle (1707-82), and +William Bromfield (1712-92) were physicians, respectively, to +Garrick, King George III, and his Queen.</p> + +<p>p. 6 The current Bishop of Peterborough was Dr. John Hinchliffe +(1731-94).</p> + +<p>Hans Stanley (1720?-80), M.P., political and diplomatic +figure.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_vii" id="Page_vii">[Pg vii]</a></span>Great Tallboy—apparently Charles Talbot, twelfth Earl and only +Duke of Shrewsbury (1660-1718), "A man of great personal +attractions, ... called by Swift 'the favourite of the nation'" +(<i>Concise DNB</i>).</p> + +<p>Haslang—Joseph Xaver (ca 1700-83), Freiherr (later Graf) von +Haszlang, Bavarian minister to England 1741-83 (Yale <i>Walpole</i>, +IX, 185, n. 25).</p> + +<p>p. 9 Spranger Barry (1719-77), famous tragic actor, or possibly +his wife, Ann Spranger Barry (1734-1801).</p> + +<p>p. 12 John Hill (1716?-75), prolific compiler of works on +varied subjects; about a year previously he had been made +knight of the Swedish order of Vasa.</p></blockquote> +<br /></div> + +<p><br /></p> +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<p><br /></p> + +<h3><a name="THE_GRACES" id="THE_GRACES"></a>THE</h3> + +<h1>G R A C E S:</h1> + +<h3>A</h3> + +<h3>POETICAL EPISTLE</h3> + +<h6>[Price One Shilling.]</h6> + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + + +<h3>THE</h3> + +<h1>G R A C E S:</h1> + +<h3>A</h3> + +<h2>POETICAL EPISTLE.</h2> + +<h3>FROM A</h3> + +<h2>GENTLEMAN TO HIS SON.</h2> + +<hr style="width: 100%;" /> + + +<p class="center">LONDON:</p> + +<p class="center">Printed for the <span class="smcap">Author</span>, and Sold by <span class="smcap">W. Flexney</span>, in Holborn.</p> + +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Mdcclxxiv.</span> +</p> + +<hr style="width: 100%;" /> + +<h1>T H E G R A C E S:</h1> + +<h3>A</h3> + +<h2>POETICAL EPISTLE.<br /><br /></h2> + + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i4">Pride of my youth, and Comfort of my age!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To thee I consecrate this useful page.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Vers'd in the nicest arts of human kind,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To thee thy Parent pours forth all his mind;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And be it thine to treasure in thy heart<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The grand <i>arcana</i>, which I now impart.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">As Health derives its most important charge,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">More from the smaller vessels than the large,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">On small events so man's success depends,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">By these alone he gains the greatest ends;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And as he keeps this maxim, or forsakes,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A Trifle marrs him, or a Trifle makes.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Court then the Graces, court! as I have done;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">This rule adopt, or quit the name of Son.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">This I will hollow constant in thy ear,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">As loud as <i>Hotspur</i> hollow'd <i>Mortimer</i>:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I would not keep a cat, or feed a bird,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That pip'd ungraceful, or ungraceful purr'd<a name="FNanchor_1_4" id="FNanchor_1_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_4" class="fnanchor">[1]</a>.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Let strict <i>Attention</i> all your acts direct,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">It wins Applause, as it denotes Respect.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Observe it in the most minute degree,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">As well when <i>out</i> of, as <i>in</i> company.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Observe it even in the <span class="smcap">Shrine of Ease</span>,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">An error there the <span class="smcap">Goddess</span> may displease.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Learn what materials will your purpose fit,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And next enquire the <i>Quantum sufficit</i>;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That <i>quantum</i> then in even folds dispose,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And wipe as cleanly, as you'd wipe your Nose.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">In ev'ry circumstance, in ev'ry place,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The ease of Nature asks the ease of Grace.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">What pity 'tis! a Gentleman can't send<br /></span> +<span class="i4">This vulgar deed his Proxy to attend.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Tis quite <i>beneath</i> the dignity of man,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">So prithee, Child! avoid it—if you can;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But if it prove an irksome, windy war,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And nought, but vent, can terminate the jar;<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><i>Distinct and graceful</i>, let th' explosion sound,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And fill with Harmony the sweet profound.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span><br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Think not that Merit of itself can raise<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Promotion's ladder, or the step of Praise<a name="FNanchor_2_5" id="FNanchor_2_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_5" class="fnanchor">[2]</a>.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">How came <span class="smcap">Sir Fletcher</span> in the Speaker's Chair!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Did Merit, or the Graces place him there.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Without the Graces what would <span class="smcap">Thurloe</span> be!<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><span class="smcap">Thurloe</span> the Sage—a brief without a fee;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">If more polite, perhaps he might be <span class="smcap">Chief</span>,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And then he'd have the Fee without the Brief.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Say! was it Merit, like a blazing Star,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That first distinguish'd <span class="smcap">Dunning</span> at the Bar!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">By Grace, and Attitude, the Prize he won,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">For he and Grace, and Grace and he are one;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And whilst his rapid energy alarms,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The <i>Lawyer</i> strikes us—but th' <span class="smcap">Adonis</span> charms.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">To Justice <span class="smcap">Blackstone</span> now direct your eyes,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">With him in parts what other Justice vies!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Twas his to comment, his to analyze,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And draw the cobweb-curtain from our eyes;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Each legal winding nicely to explore,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And give to <span class="smcap">Rufus</span> one sound Lawyer more.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But what of that! he might have still retail'd<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Inglorious Fees, had not his form prevail'd;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">His gracious form, by Nature fram'd to please,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Which robs <span class="smcap">Antinous</span> of half his ease.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">To Physic now—that claims the second place.<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><span class="smcap">Schomberg</span> has Skill, but <span class="smcap">Pringle</span> has the Grace;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And yet—but how I know not—I protest,<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><span class="smcap">That</span> Schomberg's universally carest;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Hated perhaps—for taking <span class="smcap">Nature's</span> part—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">By none, but the Professors of the <span class="smcap">Art</span>.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Tho' <span class="smcap">Bromfield</span> operates as quick as thought,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">His Fame and Judgment would be set at nought<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Did not the sweetness of his soft Address,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That graceful mode he carves with, more or less,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Conduce to save his happy patient's life,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And make him look with pleasure at his knife.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Thus with Divines. The multitude caress<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The Preacher of the most expert Address.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Tis not the doctrine that the crowd revere,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">They go to please the eye, and not the ear;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Hundreds, in spite of those who truly teach,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To ——<a name="FNanchor_3_6" id="FNanchor_3_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_6" class="fnanchor">[3]</a> flock, tho' <span class="smcap">Peterborough</span> preach.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Think you (and this to <span class="smcap">Chatham</span> I submit)<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That parts superior rais'd the name of <span class="smcap">Pitt</span>!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">No—'twas that elegant, <span class="smcap">Hans Stanley</span> Ease,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That manner soft, which could not fail to please;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That magic something, which yet wants a name,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And hands <span class="smcap">Great Tallboy</span> to immortal fame.<br /></span> +</div> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Say! was it parts (tho' <span class="smcap">Walpole</span> ne'er had more)<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">That held up <span class="smcap">North</span> amidst a factious roar!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">With cautious eye the steady helm he guides,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And o'er the sea of state triumphant rides.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Firm, as the solid rock, that nobly braves<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The raving fury of the lashing waves,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">He stands—and mocks, un-conscious of a shame,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The voice of Clamour, and the lies of Fame.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But did th' exertion of his parts alone<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Give, or deserve the favour of the throne!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Tho' blest with Goodness both of Heart and Head,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That goodness had remain'd inert and dead,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">His well-earn'd consequence would ne'er maintain,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Were he not <span class="smcap">Haslang'd</span> in the Graces train.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">But now to more familiar rules I fall,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And beg you'll practise and observe 'em all.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">When at the Play, be all alike serene,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Or at the tragic, or the comic scene.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Let Humour (<span class="smcap">Garrick</span> standing by her side)<br /></span> +<span class="i4">With laughter loud plebeian mouths divide,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Whose ha! ha! ha's! the tender ear annoy.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Do thou disdain the coarse, unmeaning joy;<a name="FNanchor_4_7" id="FNanchor_4_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_7" class="fnanchor">[4]</a><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Nor ope your lips, but purely to disclose<br /></span> +<span class="i4">How white your teeth, how accurate the rows.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">When Tragedy puts on her sable stole,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Whose very looks convey her very soul;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Whose words a murderer's repose defeat,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And make a <i>Nabob</i> shudder in his seat;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Whose plaintive tones can melt the worthy breast,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That ever melts, when Merit is distrest;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Who calls forth tears, of tears a copious store<br /></span> +<span class="i4">From sullen eyes, that never wept before;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Tears that do honour to the human heart,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And such as <span class="smcap">Barry</span> can at will impart;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">When such the sympathy (tho' ne'er so strong)<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Ah! catch not thou th' effusion of the throng;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">For if they see you shed one real tear,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The very men who shift the scenes will sneer.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Now list attentive! list! whilst I unfold<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A secret, that in verse has ne'er been told.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">All think they know it, but 'tis known to few,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That is, how best to buckle on your shoe;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Tho' strong their judgment, and their fancy bright,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Ten do it wrong for one, who does it right.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">On this side some, and some on that display<br /></span> +<span class="i4">This useful ornament in awkward way.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But wiser thou! observe nor that, nor this,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Say what men will, both methods are amiss;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">The <i>medium</i> of the foot denotes the place,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Its proper fixture for external grace<a name="FNanchor_5_8" id="FNanchor_5_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_8" class="fnanchor">[5]</a>.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i4">With all his open manliness of mind,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Where solid sense, and sterling wit are join'd,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">In life poor <i>Classic</i> never could advance,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The reason's plain—poor <i>Classic</i> could not dance.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i4">How long in vain did learned <span class="smcap">Johnson</span> toil!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And waste in busy thought the midnight oil:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Whose page the Critics ever must revere,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">As long as genius is reputed dear,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Whose heart exults, or swells with honest rage,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">As Vice, or Virtue marks the rising age;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Whose nervous writings shook the trump of Fame,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Yet left him nothing but a deathless name.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">But when the features of each grace he wore,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And look'd as <span class="smcap">Johnson</span> never look'd before,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Then came the meed, that honourable gain,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Which sheds such lustre over <span class="smcap">George's</span> Reign,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That meed, which no good man can wish remov'd,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Hinted by <span class="smcap">Bute</span>, by <span class="smcap">Majesty</span> approv'd.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Adieu! and let the Graces be your text,<a name="FNanchor_6_9" id="FNanchor_6_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_9" class="fnanchor">[6]</a><br /></span> +<span class="i4">But I'll be more explicit in my next:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">There will I teach thee, with a sire's concern,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">All that is proper for a son to learn:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">In pleasing segments how to pare your nails,<a name="FNanchor_7_10" id="FNanchor_7_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_10" class="fnanchor">[7]</a><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Segments must please, as long as taste prevails.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The conduct of your breeches there make known,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">How best to pull 'em up, and let 'em down.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Teach thee to handle with peculiar grace,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The snuff-box, toothpick, and the toothpick-case,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And how to cut and eat a currant tart,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Nor let your napkin, or your chin have part.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Once more, my Child! adieu! Remember me,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And ne'er, O ne'er forget the <span class="smcap">Graces Three</span>!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Hug 'em as close, as, when he goes to rest,<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><span class="smcap">Hill</span> hugs his graceful <i>Order</i> to his breast.<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<h2><i>F I N I S.</i></h2> + +<div class="footnotes"><h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_4" id="Footnote_1_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_4"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> The graceful manner of speaking is particularly what I +shall always hollow in your ear, as <i>Hotspur</i> hollow'd <i>Mortimer</i> to +<i>Henry</i> the fourth, and like him, I have aimed to have a Starling taught +to say, "<i>Speak distinctly and</i> <i>gracefully</i>," and send him you to +replace your loss of the unfortunate Matzell, who by the way, I am told, +spoke his language <i>distinctly and gracefully</i>.<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 6em;">Lord Chesterfield's Letter to his Son, page 305. 4to. edit. 1st. Vol.</span><br /> +</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_5" id="Footnote_2_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_5"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> I must repeat it to you over and over again, that with all +the knowledge which you may have at present, or hereafter acquire, and +with all the merit that ever man had, if you have not a graceful +address, &c. you will be nobody. Page 500, 1st. Vol.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_6" id="Footnote_3_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_6"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> The reader is desired to fill up this blank to his own +mind.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_7" id="Footnote_4_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_7"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> You may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh, +while you live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of +folly and ill-manners. It is the manner in which the mob express their +silly joy at silly things. In my mind there is nothing so illiberal and +so ill-bred as audible laughter. Page 268.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_8" id="Footnote_5_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_8"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> I am very glad you have received the diamond buckles safe. +All I desire in return for them is, that they may be buckled even upon +your foot, and that your stockings may not hide them.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_9" id="Footnote_6_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_9"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> The Graces, the Graces, remember the Graces. Page 390.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_10" id="Footnote_7_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_10"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> The ends of your nails should be small segments of circles, +&c. every time that you wipe your hands, rub the skin round your nails +backwards, that it may not grow up and shorten your nails too much. Vol. +II. page 60.</p><br /></div> +</div> + +<p><br /></p> +<hr style="width: 100%;" /> +<p><br /></p> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 650px;"> +<img src="images/grey4001a.png" width="650" height="36" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + + +<h3><a name="FINE_GENTLEMAN" id="FINE_GENTLEMAN"></a>THE</h3> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Fine Gentleman's Etiquette</span>;</h3> + +<p class="center">OR,</p> + +<h2>LORD CHESTERFIELD's</h2> + +<h3>ADVICE TO</h3> + +<h2>HIS SON,</h2> + +<h4>VERSIFIED.</h4> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 650px;"> +<img src="images/grey4001a.png" width="650" height="36" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<p class="center">Price One Shilling. +</p> + +<hr style="width: 60%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 550px;"> +<img src="images/029atop.png" width="550" height="480" alt="" title="" /> +</div><div class="figcenter" style="width: 550px;"> +<img src="images/029amid.png" width="550" height="390" alt="" title="" /> +</div><div class="figcenter" style="width: 550px;"> +<img src="images/029afoot.png" width="550" height="119" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 60%;" /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> +<img src="images/031a.png" width="500" height="539" alt="" title="" /> +</div> + +<hr style="width: 80%;" /> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6"><a name="FNanchor_A_11" id="FNanchor_A_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_11" class="fnanchor">(a)</a> "Sufficiently master of Latin and Greek,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">You now, with the Graces, acquaintance must seek,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">On Ida, we're told, the fair Goddesses dwell,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Invoke them by strong incantation, and spell,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Your incense once paid, on their candour rely,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_6" id="Page1_6">[Pg 6]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_B_12" id="FNanchor_B_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_B_12" class="fnanchor">(b)</a>With ardour pursu'd, they of course will comply;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_C_13" id="FNanchor_C_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_C_13" class="fnanchor">(c)</a>So well know the poets their use my good friend,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"They make 'em, all three, upon Venus attend;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And surely, if Venus, attractions cou'd need,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Minerva, ungrac'd, cannot hope to succeed;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Courage! mon garcon, throw the pedant aside,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And 'stead of friend <a name="FNanchor_1_46" id="FNanchor_1_46"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_46" class="fnanchor">[1]</a>Harte, adopt me for your guide,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">In courts, at ruells, you can ne'er hope to shine,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Unless with the virtues, the Graces combine:<br /></span></div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">I beg you'll acquire, or we ne'er shall agree,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The air, the <i>tournure, de la bonne compagnie</i>,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_D_14" id="FNanchor_D_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_D_14" class="fnanchor">(d)</a> This soon among people of fash'on you'll catch,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"If careful you are, their behav'our to watch;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Observe their address, and pray likewise contrive,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Deep into the springs of their actions, to dive:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"'Bove all things, have art to discover each failing,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Their merit particular, weakness prevailing;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"This accomplish'd, advantage you'll infinite reap,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_7" id="Page1_7">[Pg 7]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And may safe of their heads, and their hearts, take a peep."<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Form friendships, but let it be only with those<br /></span> +<span class="i4">On whose fond credulity you may impose;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Their confidence gain'd, unsuspected you'll soon,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Discover their secrets, and make them your own;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Tis of honor no breach, to betray thus a friend,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">If you find, to your int'rest, 'twill visibly tend:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">These maxims, thro' life, I wou'd have you pursue,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I practis'd them once, and now hand them to you;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Successful they were, they brought honors and fame,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">For still I had art to preserve my good name;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_E_15" id="FNanchor_E_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_E_15" class="fnanchor">(e)</a> 'Twere wrong to suppose, what the polish'd world say;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"That in manners, and carr'age, you're horrid <i>outré</i>;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Your air <a name="FNanchor_2_47" id="FNanchor_2_47"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_47" class="fnanchor">[2]</a>Pollissôn, and the taste of your cloaths,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Makes you pass for a Bourgeois that nobody knows;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"In short, that you want, since the truth I must own,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_3_48" id="FNanchor_3_48"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_48" class="fnanchor">[3]</a><i>Tous ces petits riens qui donnent le bon ton</i>."<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_F_16" id="FNanchor_F_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_F_16" class="fnanchor">(f)</a> I happen'd, by chance, to step in tother day,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_8" id="Page1_8">[Pg 8]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"To a print-shop, that luckily, stood in my way,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Where a print, for your use, I took pains to select,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And hope to my taste, you will pay due respect;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"'Tis of drawing the school, from a famous design<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Of Carlo Marratti, who stood first in the line<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Of eminent painters, in Europe that drew,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Admir'd, by all lovers of taste, and Virtu:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"In the grey-headed sage the great master you see,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"His scholars he points to, in this you'll agree.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Their several studies, on which he must speak,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Are Perspective, Geometry, and statues antique:"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Of each, you a specimen fair will behold.—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But matters, so obvious, you scarce need be told.<br /></span></div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"On the two former subjects, be pleas'd to observe,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"That quantum sufficit, of either, will serve;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"With regard to the latter, he clearly hath shewn,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"That never enough on that head can be known:"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But now to my favourite, much admir'd theme,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_9" id="Page1_9">[Pg 9]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">For which, I the Artist, immortal esteem<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To you, with instruction divine it is fraught,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Not Apelles could more have excell'd in the thought.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"At top of the piece, in the clouds you will see,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"With dignity seated, the Graces All Three;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And over them written this sentence quite plain,—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Without us, depend on't, all labour is vain."<br /></span></div> +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"Thus much for description, the print I shall send,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"With all possible speed by the hands of a friend,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And beg, adoration you will to it pay,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Such as Catholics use to their saints when they pray:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"An ear, to my precepts, I hope you will lend,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_G_17" id="FNanchor_G_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_G_17" class="fnanchor">(g)</a> Nor think, that those Graces, so oft' I commend,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Must only <a name="FNanchor_4_49" id="FNanchor_4_49"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_49" class="fnanchor">[4]</a><i>les jours de grand Gala</i> be worn,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Since each word, and action, they're meant to adorn."<br /></span></div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"Your coffee to see you ungracefully sip,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I know, beyond measure, would give me the hyp,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"If, by holding it aukward, your cloaths you should slop,"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_10" id="Page1_10">[Pg 10]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">In a fit, off my chair, I shou'd suddenly drop;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Nor less shou'd I feel, were I destin'd to view,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"A button'd up coat, or a wry buckled shoe:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Good God! how excessively shocking my doom,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"If when I first see you come into my room;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_H_18" id="FNanchor_H_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_H_18" class="fnanchor">(h)</a> Two aukward left legs, and a taylor-like air,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"My sight shou'd accost,"—by the Graces I swear,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">All ties of affinity I shou'd disclaim,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And deem you, henceforth, a disgrace to my name.<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"Your dress to correct, and your carriage to mend,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Let <i>le Tailleur</i>, and what's more <a name="FNanchor_5_50" id="FNanchor_5_50"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_50" class="fnanchor">[5]</a><i>Marcel</i> stand your friend;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<i>Marcel</i>, I'm persuaded, will soon teach you how,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"To turn out your toes, and to make a good bow;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Nor do I despair, but he'll fashon outright,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Your arms too, and legs, which are both in sad plight:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Attend on his lessons, with diligent care,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Of him you'll acquire, <i>tous les Graces, les manieres</i>;"</span><br /> +<span class="i4">More useful, than classical knowledge, this art<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_11" id="Page1_11">[Pg 11]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"To deceive, we must first gain access to the heart;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_I_19" id="FNanchor_I_19"></a><a href="#Footnote_I_19" class="fnanchor">(i)</a> The heart once engag'd," mind your mood, and your tense,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And I'll venture my life you impose on the sense;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"This doctrine is orthodox, practis'd by me,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"—Address, is with Statesmen, the true master-key.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_J_20" id="FNanchor_J_20"></a><a href="#Footnote_J_20" class="fnanchor">(j)</a> I greatly am chagrin'd, to find that you still<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Are absent, distrait, and present yourself ill,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"That napkin, and bread, your knife, fork, and spoon,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Where ever you dine, are thrown constantly down;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To the infinite terror, I'm sorry to say,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Of the company's legs, that within their reach lay:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Your dress and your person, you likewise neglect,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A proof that my counsel you mean to reject;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">From which I infer, that you ne'er will acquire,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"That <i>tournure</i>, those Graces," I so much admire:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"With the dead, I a thousand times better am pleas'd,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Than a man who with fits of distraction is seiz'd;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"For tho' the defunct, no amusement can give,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"From him I no mark of contempt shall receive;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"So absent you seem, I am led to surmize,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_12" id="Page1_12">[Pg 12]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"You seldom make use of your ears or your eyes;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"It therefore seems highly expedient to me,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"A flapper shou'd rouze you from this reverie;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"But mark, on the subject, a word <i>entres nous</i>—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"For this new domestic I pay not a sous:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"That office, friend <a name="FNanchor_6_51" id="FNanchor_6_51"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_51" class="fnanchor">[6]</a>Christian, must gratis discharge,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Nor suffer you, solus, to wander at large,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Least strangers, that seldom their censure restrain,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Viva voce, shou'd deem you—a person insane:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"The use of those flappers, in Swift you may read,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Of them the Laputans, your allies, stood in need;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Whose minds, like to yours, by intense speculations,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Were too much ingross'd to have useful sensations;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And but for those flappers, I think there's no doubt<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Their brains 'gainst the posts, they had fairly beat out;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The sum of my doctrine is <a name="FNanchor_7_52" id="FNanchor_7_52"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_52" class="fnanchor">[7]</a><i>point des grimaces</i><br /></span> +<span class="i4"><i>Et point de distraction, mais souvenir les graces</i>.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_K_21" id="FNanchor_K_21"></a><a href="#Footnote_K_21" class="fnanchor">(k)</a> If you, at my table, shou'd meet Mr. L.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_13" id="Page1_13">[Pg 13]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"A fatal catastrophy I can foretell,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Your heads, 'gainst each other, you'll merciless hit,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And you'll haggle your fingers, instead of the meat;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"'Tis probable too," this deponent here saith,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"You both, may in winter, be scalded to death,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"By th'hasty infusion of soup boiling hot;"—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But more, on this head, this deponent says not.<br /></span></div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">I oft' from my memory seek to erase<br /></span> +<span class="i4">An hour, unto you, big with shame and disgrace;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But vain the attempt, it will uppermost be,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Good heav'n forefend! I the like shou'd e'er see:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">For certain it is, as I now am alive,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Another such shock I cou'd never survive:<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><a name="FNanchor_8_53" id="FNanchor_8_53"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_53" class="fnanchor">[8]</a>The fact I allude to you'll easily guess,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Twas when with some friends of esteem'd <i>politesse</i>,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">With me you once din'd, to my grief be it said,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And no little hole in your manners then made:<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><i>Blanche mange</i>, which you doat on, was part of our fare,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_14" id="Page1_14">[Pg 14]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Abhorr'd! be the minute, when first it came there.—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Henceforth, for your sake, I <i>Blanche mange</i> shall detest,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Tho of colour the whitest, and flavour the best;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">For when, you close siege, to a pyramid laid,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">No respect was to persons, or decency paid:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">You not only ate, 'till you cou'd eat no more,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But with it, disfigur'd your visage all o'er:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Your portrait was that, if a likeness you'd have,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Of a man ready lather'd, just going to shave:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Transported with rage, I cou'd scarce keep my seat,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And words, only found, to advise a retreat;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And order your servant to wash your face clean,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Since so dirty a spectacle never was seen:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Where then were the Graces?—that hour sound they slept,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Or else on mount Ida a jubilee kept.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">To acquire the <i>bon ton</i>, and excel in address,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Are points upon which I must ever lay stress;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">So useful they are, of importance so great,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">You'll find 'em, through life, so essential a bait;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That without them as soon may you hope to succeed,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_15" id="Page1_15">[Pg 15]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">As a man teach the Classicks that never could read:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">My counsel is sterling, pray bear it in mind,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A Statesman I was, and belov'd by mankind;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">In pleasure, or bus'ness, <i>les grace</i>, <i>les manieres</i>,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Ensure one success, with the grave, or the fair.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"Your manners to polish, and time to amuse,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"I hope you have chosen a good <a name="FNanchor_9_54" id="FNanchor_9_54"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_54" class="fnanchor">[9]</a><i>décrotteuse</i>;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_L_22" id="FNanchor_L_22"></a><a href="#Footnote_L_22" class="fnanchor">(l)</a> While aukward and gauche, which at present I fear"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">You must not, the hem of my garment come near;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Great merit esteem will procure it is true,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"But merit alone, be assur'd will not do.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_M_23" id="FNanchor_M_23"></a><a href="#Footnote_M_23" class="fnanchor">(m)</a> Your riding and dancing I hope will conduce<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"To fash'on your limbs, and to teach them their use;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I'd have you describ'd, by your air <i>degagée</i>,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">In order to which, <i>il vous faut dégourdis</i>,<a name="FNanchor_10_55" id="FNanchor_10_55"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_55" class="fnanchor">[10]</a><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Of women, you best, <i>les agrément</i> will learn,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But be sure, in your choice, that you rightly discern,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Twixt the dissolute fair, that wou'd ruin your fame,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_16" id="Page1_16">[Pg 16]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">And her, that real lustre will add to your name:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">My joy were compleat, could I hear the world say,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Ah! <i>comme il est galant ce petit Anglois</i>!<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_N_24" id="FNanchor_N_24"></a><a href="#Footnote_N_24" class="fnanchor">(n)</a> At Paris arriv'd, you must take 'special care,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"To dress as the people of fash'on do there;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"This does not in finery so much consist,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"As the manner of wearing your cloaths, and the taste.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Employ the best taylor the place will afford,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Since much will depend on your <i>premier abord</i>,<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><a name="FNanchor_11_56" id="FNanchor_11_56"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_56" class="fnanchor">[11]</a><i>Comme un homme du grand monde il vous faut habillé</i><br /></span> +<span class="i4"><a name="FNanchor_12_57" id="FNanchor_12_57"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_57" class="fnanchor">[12]</a><i>Toûjours à la mode, et bien proprement mis</i>:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Pray find a good <i>frisieur</i> to do your hair well,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Since that of your dress, is a part material:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_O_25" id="FNanchor_O_25"></a><a href="#Footnote_O_25" class="fnanchor">(o)</a> Apropos, of your legs,—garter well up your hose,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Lest careless they hang o'er the tops of your shoes;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"For nought gives a man a more slovenly air,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_17" id="Page1_17">[Pg 17]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Than aukward dress'd legs, and a rough head of hair<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_P_26" id="FNanchor_P_26"></a><a href="#Footnote_P_26" class="fnanchor">(p)</a> Be powder'd, be feather'd, be lac'd I entreat,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">From the crown of your head, to the soles of your feet;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">They must not of fashion, an atom neglect,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That hope, from the women, to challenge respect;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Whose suffrage to gain, I must beg you'll aspire,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Since only of them you can lustre acquire."<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"<a name="FNanchor_Q_27" id="FNanchor_Q_27"></a><a href="#Footnote_Q_27" class="fnanchor">(q)</a> My diamond buckles I fully propose,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Your feet shall adorn, mine they now wou'd expose;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Of all things in nature I mostly abhor,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A Beau, on the verge, of years fifty and four:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Accept them, I beg, with injunction severe,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_R_28" id="FNanchor_R_28"></a><a href="#Footnote_R_28" class="fnanchor">(r)</a> To buckle them straight," since to me 'tis not clear,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But one on the outside your foot may be plac'd,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And one on the in, as a proof of your taste;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">If this, of a certainty, I cou'd but know,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Without shoes, or buckles, for me you should go.<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"<a name="FNanchor_S_29" id="FNanchor_S_29"></a><a href="#Footnote_S_29" class="fnanchor">(s)</a> Of swords, canes, and snuff boxes, might I advise,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_18" id="Page1_18">[Pg 18]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"If elegant, one may of each well suffice:"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">There are, who will lavish, on baubles like these,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A sum wou'd procure independence and ease:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Such Beings, alas! not a shilling would lend,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To save from despair, a poor indigent friend:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Oh! shut not your ear, 'gainst the cry of distress,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">May the sense of their woes, prove their means of redress:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Tho' chance, in your favour, some difference has made,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">No distinction to rank, will hereafter be paid:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Sufficient that thought, human pride to subdue,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Pray let it not pass unregarded by you.<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_T_30" id="FNanchor_T_30"></a><a href="#Footnote_T_30" class="fnanchor">(t)</a> <a name="FNanchor_13_58" id="FNanchor_13_58"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_58" class="fnanchor">[13]</a><i>Comment vont les Graces</i>, prithee how do they fare,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Of them have you studied <a name="FNanchor_14_59" id="FNanchor_14_59"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_59" class="fnanchor">[14]</a><i>le grand art de plaire</i>?<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"If you, in the <i>beau monde</i>, success would ensure,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_U_31" id="FNanchor_U_31"></a><a href="#Footnote_U_31" class="fnanchor">(u)</a> In your manners attend to a certain <i>douceur</i>:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"The French, this <i>douceur</i>, do most highly esteem,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_19" id="Page1_19">[Pg 19]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"'Tis in short <a name="FNanchor_15_60" id="FNanchor_15_60"></a><a href="#Footnote_15_60" class="fnanchor">[15]</a><i>l'aimable, le tout chose</i> with them;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Acquire it, dear Phil, or I fair warning give,—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I ne'er wish to see you as long as you live.<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_V_32" id="FNanchor_V_32"></a><a href="#Footnote_V_32" class="fnanchor">(v)</a> In your person be cleanly, I humbly intreat,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And attend to your teeth, that your breath may be sweet,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Your nails too keep par'd, I outrageous should be,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"If them, tipt with black, I should happen to see.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"By you, may these hints, not improper be held,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_W_33" id="FNanchor_W_33"></a><a href="#Footnote_W_33" class="fnanchor">(w)</a> Since once, 'bove your fellows, in dirt you excell'd;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And oft', when a lad, have you suffer'd disgrace,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"For neglecting to wash both your hands, and your face:"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Tho trifling these matters, to you, may appear,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">With me, they weigh more than the gold of Ophir;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Since a dunce well accomplish'd more merit can boast,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Than a book-worm that smells of the deep college rust.<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A father, I am, to your faults nothing blind,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And claim a free licence for speaking my mind;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"By this lecture on cleanliness, all I propose is,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_20" id="Page1_20">[Pg 20]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_X_34" id="FNanchor_X_34"></a><a href="#Footnote_X_34" class="fnanchor">(x)</a> That you may not offend peoples eyes, or their noses."<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"<a name="FNanchor_Y_35" id="FNanchor_Y_35"></a><a href="#Footnote_Y_35" class="fnanchor">(y)</a> A bill I receiv'd, but the truth to confess,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"It puzzl'd me much at the drawer to guess;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"No advice you had given of such an intent,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"From which I suspected, a fraud might be meant;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Since always in matters of business, like these,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"'Tis usual the party in time to apprize:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And what more confirmed these suspicions, my friend,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"It did not appear to have ever been sign'd:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"The person that brought it, desir'd me to look,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Again at the bottom, where what I mistook<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"For somebody's mark, by the help of a glass,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Your name really prov'd,—to my sorrow, alas!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Since wrote in a hand, both the worst, and the least,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"In my life I beheld, it must needs be confess'd:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And rather, by far, I'd have lost the whole sum,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Than such a vile scrawl from your hand should have come.<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6"><a name="FNanchor_Z_36" id="FNanchor_Z_36"></a><a href="#Footnote_Z_36" class="fnanchor">(z)</a> In spelling, my son, I shall give you your due,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_21" id="Page1_21">[Pg 21]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">For so great a proficient on <i>yearth</i> I ne'er knew;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<i>Enduce</i>, for induce, you now actually spell,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"For grandeur, <i>grandure</i>, which to you sounds as well;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Two capital blunders, I beg you will note,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Since few of my house-maids such stuff wou'd have wrote:"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To give my ideas at once their full scope,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Your progress in nonsense, inclines me to hope,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That soon an epistle, from you I shall see,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Wherein will be spelt the word joy with a g.<br /></span> + +<div class="stanza"> +<span class="i4"><a name="FNanchor_A_37" id="FNanchor_A_37"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_37" class="fnanchor">(a)</a> I well am inform'd, there is still in your speech,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"A most disagreeable hobble, or hitch;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Not yet to have conquer'd bad habits, dear Phil,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">With me, needs must wear the appearance of ill;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Still falsely attach'd to the errors of youth,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Still aukward in manners, in speech still uncouth:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I dare not the flattering hope entertain,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_22" id="Page1_22">[Pg 22]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">That you, as an orator, credit will gain;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">If so, to my pride 'twill an overthrow be,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">And certain disgrace must accrue unto thee:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_B_38" id="FNanchor_B_38"></a><a href="#Footnote_B_38" class="fnanchor">(b)</a> At Athens, to orat'ry, such the respect,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"That of it, herb women, were judges correct:"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">But lest my assertion with you shou'd want weight,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I'll venture a story in point to relate:<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6"><i>Theophrastus</i>, at <i>Athens</i>, one day in the street,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">By chance, with an herb-woman, happen'd to meet;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A question he ask'd: he not speaking Greek pure,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A <i>stranger</i> she call'd him,—of this I am sure,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Thou art not of <i>Athens</i>, a city renown'd,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">For oratory, elegance, learning profound:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Her judgment I praise, not mistaken was she,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">It prov'd, that of <i>Athens</i>, no native was he:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Apply to yourself, what above I have wrote,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">That you, thro' neglect, may no stranger be thought:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I ne'er can the study enough recommend,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_23" id="Page1_23">[Pg 23]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">Your fortune, and character, on it depend;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">My protection you'll forfeit, the truth I must speak,<br /></span> +<span class="i4"><a name="FNanchor_C_39" id="FNanchor_C_39"></a> <a href="#Footnote_C_39" class="fnanchor">(c)</a> Unless you a figure in Parliament make.<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"<a name="FNanchor_D_40" id="FNanchor_D_40"></a><a href="#Footnote_D_40" class="fnanchor">(d)</a> On carving, a hint I shall venture to give,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Attention it claims, ev'ry day that you live:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Do you carve with <i>adroitness</i>, the truth prithee own,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Without hacking, at least half an hour cross a bone:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Or spatt'ring the sauce in your company's faces,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And into their pockets o'erturning the glasses;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">While labouring you seem, and at no common rate,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">With your sleeve, all the time, in your next neighbour's plate?<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Such aukward behaviour admits no excuse,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Tis avoided with ease, by attention and use;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I therefore shall hope, that e'er this you are able,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To acquit yourself well at the head of a table:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">The reverse shou'd it prove (which good heav'n avert)<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Believe me, the shock, I but ill could support;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">To find you <i>distrait</i>, aukward, clumsy, ill-bred,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_24" id="Page1_24">[Pg 24]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">And only in books, not in manners well read;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">I frankly confess, I shall wish from my soul,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">We two may be distant, as South from North pole.<br /></span> + +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">With regard to your gallantry, much has been said,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Tho silence profound, you observe on that head,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_E_41" id="FNanchor_E_41"></a><a href="#Footnote_E_41" class="fnanchor">(e)</a> Your converse with women, respectful must be,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"But likewise observe <i>au meme temps enjoué</i>:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_F_42" id="FNanchor_F_42"></a><a href="#Footnote_F_42" class="fnanchor">(f)</a> On score of their beauty, good sense, or their graces,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"The sex you may flatter, all times, in all cases;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"They love admiration, and think it can ne'er,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"On any conditions be purchas'd too dear:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"These hints from the sex, must with care be conceal'd,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"No mercy expect if they once are reveal'd;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Revenge is their passion, and well I discern,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_G_43" id="FNanchor_G_43"></a><a href="#Footnote_G_43" class="fnanchor">(g)</a> Like Orpheus, in pieces, by them you'd be torn:"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_H_44" id="FNanchor_H_44"></a><a href="#Footnote_H_44" class="fnanchor">(h)</a> One maxim pray treasure as long as you live,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"No mark of contempt either sex will forgive;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"The vanity flatter'd of women, or men,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_25" id="Page1_25">[Pg 25]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Ensures you success with just nine out of ten:"<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">Resolve me a question I wish much to know,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<a name="FNanchor_I_45" id="FNanchor_I_45"></a><a href="#Footnote_I_45" class="fnanchor">(i)</a> Your passion, how stands it, for <i>Madame de Blot</i>?<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Does she list to your tale, are there hopes of success?<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"To me, you the secret, may safely confess:<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"On giving the <i>mohair</i>, occasion will serve,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"<i>Pour faire le galant</i>, which you'll doubtless observe;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Te Deum I'll sing when the vict'ry is sure,—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">'Tho much I suspect you'll not prove her <i>meilcour</i>;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"She, constant has been to her husband, they say,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"And married, poor soul! 'bove a year and a day;"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Small chance do you stand with a woman so chaste,—<br /></span> +<span class="i4">Exclude her, at once, from the region of taste<br /></span> +<span class="i4">A beauty obdurate, to lovers a score!<br /></span> +<span class="i4">At Paris, the thing was ne'er heard of before;<br /></span> +<span class="i4">By you, if the willow, for her must be worn,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">No French woman she, in her heart, I'll be sworn.<br /></span> + +</div><br /> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i6">"In all that you do, and whatever you say,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page1_26" id="Page1_26">[Pg 26]</a></span><br /></span> +<span class="i4">"I hope, to the Graces, you sacrifice pay,<br /></span> +<span class="i4">"Assiduously courted, their favour you'll gain,"<br /></span> +<span class="i4">So shall not, my labour of love, "be in vain."<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<h2><i>F I N I S.</i></h2> + + +<div class="footnotes"><h3>NUMBERED FOOTNOTES:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_46" id="Footnote_1_46"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_46"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Mr. <i>Harte</i>, Mr. <i>Stanhope</i>'s tutor.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_47" id="Footnote_2_47"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_47"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Slovenly air.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_48" id="Footnote_3_48"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_48"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> Those little nothings that give the ton.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_49" id="Footnote_4_49"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_49"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> High Court, or Jubilee Days.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_50" id="Footnote_5_50"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_50"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> A famous dancing master at that time in Paris.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_51" id="Footnote_6_51"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_51"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> Mr. Stanhope's gentleman.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_52" id="Footnote_7_52"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_52"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> No distortion of countenance, or aukward behaviour; no +absence of mind; but to keep the Graces always in remembrance.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_53" id="Footnote_8_53"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_53"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> Mr. Stanhope dined one day with some company at his +father's, when the following circumstance happen'd, which so much +enrag'd him, that he called for his servant to take him from table and +wash him clean.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_54" id="Footnote_9_54"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_54"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> A female polisher of manners.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_55" id="Footnote_10_55"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_55"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> Have your stiffness remov'd.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_56" id="Footnote_11_56"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_56"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> You should dress like a man of the great world.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_57" id="Footnote_12_57"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_57"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> Always in the fashion, and your cloaths well put on.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_13_58" id="Footnote_13_58"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_58"><span class="label">[13]</span></a> What success with the Graces.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_14_59" id="Footnote_14_59"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_59"><span class="label">[14]</span></a> The great art of pleasing.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_15_60" id="Footnote_15_60"></a><a href="#FNanchor_15_60"><span class="label">[15]</span></a> The amiable, the every thing.</p></div> +<br /></div> + +<p><br /><br /></p> + +<div class="footnotes"><h3>LETTERED FOOTNOTES:</h3> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_11" id="Footnote_A_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_11"><span class="label">(a)</span></a> Page 5. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_B_12" id="Footnote_B_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_B_12"><span class="label">(b)</span></a> Page 92. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_C_13" id="Footnote_C_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_C_13"><span class="label">(c)</span></a> Page 33. ditto.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_D_14" id="Footnote_D_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_D_14"><span class="label">(d)</span></a> Page 53. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_E_15" id="Footnote_E_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_E_15"><span class="label">(e)</span></a> Page 17. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_F_16" id="Footnote_F_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_F_16"><span class="label">(f)</span></a> Page 101. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_G_17" id="Footnote_G_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_G_17"><span class="label">(g)</span></a> Page 106. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_H_18" id="Footnote_H_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_H_18"><span class="label">(h)</span></a> Page 218. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_I_19" id="Footnote_I_19"></a><a href="#FNanchor_I_19"><span class="label">(i)</span></a> Page 227. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_J_20" id="Footnote_J_20"></a><a href="#FNanchor_J_20"><span class="label">(j)</span></a> Page 216. ditto.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_K_21" id="Footnote_K_21"></a><a href="#FNanchor_K_21"><span class="label">(k)</span></a> Page 262. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_L_22" id="Footnote_L_22"></a><a href="#FNanchor_L_22"><span class="label">(l)</span></a> Page 92. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_M_23" id="Footnote_M_23"></a><a href="#FNanchor_M_23"><span class="label">(m)</span></a> Page 18. ditto.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_N_24" id="Footnote_N_24"></a><a href="#FNanchor_N_24"><span class="label">(n)</span></a> Page 73. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_O_25" id="Footnote_O_25"></a><a href="#FNanchor_O_25"><span class="label">(o)</span></a> Page 220. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_P_26" id="Footnote_P_26"></a><a href="#FNanchor_P_26"><span class="label">(p)</span></a> Page 332. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_Q_27" id="Footnote_Q_27"></a><a href="#FNanchor_Q_27"><span class="label">(q)</span></a> Page 181. ditto.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_R_28" id="Footnote_R_28"></a><a href="#FNanchor_R_28"><span class="label">(r)</span></a> Page 66. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_S_29" id="Footnote_S_29"></a><a href="#FNanchor_S_29"><span class="label">(s)</span></a> Page 220. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_T_30" id="Footnote_T_30"></a><a href="#FNanchor_T_30"><span class="label">(t)</span></a> Page 153. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_U_31" id="Footnote_U_31"></a><a href="#FNanchor_U_31"><span class="label">(u)</span></a> Page 108. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_V_32" id="Footnote_V_32"></a><a href="#FNanchor_V_32"><span class="label">(v)</span></a> Page 74. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_W_33" id="Footnote_W_33"></a><a href="#FNanchor_W_33"><span class="label">(w)</span></a> Page 74. ditto.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_X_34" id="Footnote_X_34"></a><a href="#FNanchor_X_34"><span class="label">(x)</span></a> Page 182. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_Y_35" id="Footnote_Y_35"></a><a href="#FNanchor_Y_35"><span class="label">(y)</span></a> Page 113. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_Z_36" id="Footnote_Z_36"></a><a href="#FNanchor_Z_36"><span class="label">(z)</span></a> Page 81. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_37" id="Footnote_A_37"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_37"><span class="label">(a)</span></a> Page 42. ditto.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_B_38" id="Footnote_B_38"></a><a href="#FNanchor_B_38"><span class="label">(b)</span></a> Page 43. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_C_39" id="Footnote_C_39"></a><a href="#FNanchor_C_39"><span class="label">(c)</span></a> Page 283. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_D_40" id="Footnote_D_40"></a><a href="#FNanchor_D_40"><span class="label">(d)</span></a> Page 68. ditto.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_E_41" id="Footnote_E_41"></a><a href="#FNanchor_E_41"><span class="label">(e)</span></a> Page 332. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_F_42" id="Footnote_F_42"></a><a href="#FNanchor_F_42"><span class="label">(f)</span></a> Page 57. ditto.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_G_43" id="Footnote_G_43"></a><a href="#FNanchor_G_43"><span class="label">(g)</span></a> Page 57. second volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_H_44" id="Footnote_H_44"></a><a href="#FNanchor_H_44"><span class="label">(h)</span></a> Page 178. third volume.</p></div> +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_I_45" id="Footnote_I_45"></a><a href="#FNanchor_I_45"><span class="label">(i)</span></a> Page 351. second volume.</p></div> +<br /></div> +<hr 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William Herbert, Third Earl of +Pembroke. <i>Poems</i> (1660). Introduction by Gaby Onderwyzer. Francis +Hutcheson, <i>Reflections on Laughter</i> (1729). Introduction by Scott +Elledge. <i>Eighteenth-Century Newspaper Essays on the Theatre.</i> Selected, +with an introduction, by John Loftis. [Peter Whalley] <i>An Essay on the +Manner of Writing History</i> (1746). Introduction by Keith Stewart. +<i>Sawney and Colley</i> [1742] and other Pope pamphlets. Edited, with an +introduction, by W. Powell Jones. Henry Fuseli, <i>Remarks on the Writings +and Conduct of J. J. Rousseau</i> (1767). Introduction by Karl S. Guthke. +[Charles Croke] <i>Fortune's Uncertainty</i> (1667). Introduction by William +Matthews.</p> + +<p>Single copies of past publications, except those which are out of print, +are available at $.75 each. A list of publications in print may be +obtained by writing to the Society.<br /><br /></p> + + +<p class="center"><b>THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY</b><br /> +<b><i>WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY</i></b><br /> +<b><span class="smcap">2205 West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles 18, California</span></b></p> + +<p class="center">Make check or money order payable to <span class="smcap">The Regents of the University of +California</span>.</p> + + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + + + +<h3>Transcriber's Notes</h3> + +<p><b>A. "The Graces"</b></p> + +<p>On p. 2, extra quotation mark deleted in the phrase "speak distinctly +and gracefully" in footnote 1.</p> + +<p>On page 7, "observe e'm all" has been amended to "observe 'em all".</p> + +<p>On p. 21 The redundant double quotation mark after "<i>grandure</i>" has been +deleted.<br /><br /></p> + + +<p><b>B. "The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette"</b></p> + +<p>These typos have been amended:</p> + +<p>On p. 7, "supprose" has been amended to +"suppose".</p> + +<p>On p. 20, "you hand" has been amended to "your hand".</p> + +<p>This poem makes much use of quotation marks. It is not always certain +that they have been put in the correct place, but they have been left +unchanged.</p> + +<p>In "The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette", there are two sets of footnotes. +One set, which contains references to Chesterfield's Letters, is +anchored with lower-case alphabetic characters, and placed after the +relevant paragraph. The second set is anchored with Arabic numerals and +placed at the end of the poem.</p> + +<p>In footnote 4 the word "days" had "s" printed in reverse. This is now +printed the right way round.</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's +Letters., by Anonymous + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO BURLESQUES OF LORD *** + +***** This file should be named 38149-h.htm or 38149-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/1/4/38149/ + +Produced by Tor Martin Kristiansen, Margo Romberg, Joseph +Cooper and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Two Burlesques of Lord Chesterfield's Letters. + The Graces (1774), The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette (1776) + +Author: Anonymous + +Editor: Sidney L. Gulick + +Release Date: November 27, 2011 [EBook #38149] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TWO BURLESQUES OF LORD *** + + + + +Produced by Tor Martin Kristiansen, Margo Romberg, Joseph +Cooper and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + + TWO BURLESQUES OF + LORD CHESTERFIELD'S LETTERS + THE GRACES (1774) + THE FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE (1776) + + Edited, with an Introduction, by + Sidney L. Gulick + + Publication Number 81 + + William Andrews Clark Memorial Library + University of California + Los Angeles + 1960 + + + + + GENERAL EDITORS + + Richard C. Boys, _University of Michigan_ + Ralph Cohen, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_ + Lawrence Clark Powell, _Clark Memorial Library_ + + + ASSISTANT EDITOR + + W. Earl Britton, _University of Michigan_ + + + ADVISORY EDITORS + + Emmett L. Avery, _State College of Washington_ + Benjamin Boyce, _Duke University_ + Louis Bredvold, _University of Michigan_ + John Butt, _King's College, University of Durham_ + James L. Clifford, _Columbia University_ + Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_ + Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_ + Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_ + Ernest C. Mossner, _University of Texas_ + James Sutherland, _University College, London_ + H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., _University of California, Los Angeles_ + + + CORRESPONDING SECRETARY + + Edna C. Davis, _Clark Memorial Library_ + + + + +INTRODUCTION + + +Even though the disasters which overtook John Stubbs and William Prynne +in the days of Elizabeth and Charles I no longer faced the pamphleteer, +the eighteenth century saw many an anonymous publication, for while +hands and ears were less in jeopardy, author and publisher might well +suffer imprisonment, as William Cooley and the printer of the Daily Post +learned in the winter of 1740-41, and John Wilkes in the 1760's. One can +understand why, despite the absence of personal danger, a public figure +like Lord Chesterfield should yet conceal his connection with a piece on +the Hanoverian troops, or why Horace Walpole might often not put his +name to an item listed in his Short Notes of his life or young Boswell +to his communications to the press. Indeed, many an innocuous writing +appeared anonymously, for the bashful author, protected against the +miseries of conspicuous failure, could always shyly acknowledge a +successful production. Later, perchance, it could appear in his +collected works. + +The two pieces here reprinted, typical verse pamphlets of the 1770's, +illustrate both a type of writing and an age. The subject of both is +contemporary--the best-selling _Letters to his Son_ of Lord +Chesterfield. The method falls between burlesque and caricature; the aim +is amusement; the substance is negligible. Neither poem made more than a +ripple on publication, neither initiated a critical fashion, and neither +survived in its own right, yet each has merit enough to justify +inclusion today in such a series as the Augustan reprints. + + * * * * * + +Chesterfield's _Letters to his Son_, the subject of these two +burlesques, were announced as published on April 7, 1774, scarcely a +year after his death; that they became an immediate best seller, every +schoolboy knows. Reaction to the letters took several modes of +expression. These included comments in conversation by Dr. Johnson and +by George III, as reported by Boswell and by Fanny Burney; in letters, +from Walpole, Mrs. Delaney, Voltaire, and Mrs. Montagu; and in diaries, +such as those of Fanny Burney and John Wesley. Reviewers sprang to words +if not into action. Entire books came to the defence of morality. A +sermon announced "The Unalterable Nature of Vice and Virtue" (a second +edition placed Virtue before Vice); the _Monthly Review_ for December +1775 praised it: "This sensible and well written discourse is chiefly +directed against the letters of the late Lord Chesterfield, though his +Lordship is not mentioned." All of these approached the subject +directly. Indirect reactions included an ironic _Apology for Mrs. +Stanhope_ (the son's widow, who had sold the letters to James Dodsley +the publisher for L1575 and was represented as the editor), two novels +showing the pernicious effects of the Chesterfieldean "system"--_The +Pupil of Pleasure_, by Courtney Melmoth (Samuel Jackson Pratt), and _The +Two Mentors_, by Clara Reeve--and a parody by Horace Walpole of the +first three letters (published years later in his _Works_). The +_Westminster Magazine_ carried a "Petition of the Women of Pleasure" and +the _London Chronicle_ a farcical skit on Lord Chesterfield's refined +manners.[1] In a play called _The Cozeners_, Samuel Foote took advantage +of current interest in Chesterfield to ridicule the graces. Not the +least interesting examples of the indirect reaction to the _Letters_ are +the two verse caricatures or burlesques here reprinted. + + * * * * * + +The earlier of the two poems, _The Graces_, bears the date 1774 on the +title page. A second edition of 1775 at first glance appears to be a +reissue with new title page, but minor changes and the straightedge test +are evidence of resetting. The authorship was soon known: _The London +Chronicle_ for February 16-18, quoting 88 lines of the total 170 and +working from the first edition, mentioned that the piece was written by +Mr. Woty, but so far as bibliography was concerned this attribution +remained hidden until recently, for Woty's obituary in the _Gentleman's +Magazine_ for March 1791 omitted mention of _The Graces_, as did the +_DNB_ and its additional sources, John Nichols' _Leicestershire_ and +David Erskine Baker's _Biographia Dramatica_ (1812 ed.).[2] That Woty +did indeed write _The Graces_ one may assume from his including it in +1780, with minor changes, in _Poems on Several Occasions_. He too used +the first edition. + +Of William Woty's life little need be said; the _DNB_, relying +essentially on the _Gentleman's Magazine_, gives the salient events: +after preparing to enter the law, he became companion and a kind of +legal secretary to Washington, Earl Ferrers, who prior to his death in +1778 made Woty independent by establishing an annuity of L150 for him. +His first book of verse was _The Sporting Club_, 1758; the next, _The +Shrubs of Parnassus_, by "James Copywell," he published in 1760. Two +others, which he acknowledged, followed in the next three years; then in +1763 he joined Francis Fawkes in editing _The Poetical Calendar_, in 12 +volumes, to which Samuel Johnson contributed a character sketch of +William Collins (Boswell's _Life_, ed. Hill-Powell, I, 382). In 1770, +Woty issued a two-volume _Poetical Works_. The _Gentleman's Magazine_, +mentioning four other publications from 1770 to 1775, adds, "and some +other miscellaneous pieces since that time." These, possibly unnamed +because published outside of London, included _Poems on Several +Occasions_, Derby, 1780 (in which, as noted above, he reprinted _The +Graces_), _Fugitive and Original Poems_, Derby, 1786, and _Poetical +Amusements_, Nottingham, 1789. "Mr. W. was a true _bon vivant_," the +notice continues, "but by a too great indulgence of his passion for +conviviality and society he unfortunately injured his constitution." He +died in March 1791, "aged about 60." + +Woty seems to have been on the periphery of Samuel Johnson's list of +acquaintances. Under what circumstances Johnson agreed to write the +sketch of Collins for the _Poetical Calendar_, Boswell does not +specify--whether for Woty or for Fawkes or for J. Coote, the +publisher--but write it he did. The index to the Hill-Powell Boswell +lists Woty (and Fawkes) only in this connection, but someone had +sufficient interest with the lexicographer to induce him to subscribe to +Woty's anonymous _Shrubs of Parnassus_, 1760; the subscription list of +some 500 names includes not only Samuel Johnson, A.M., but David +Garrick, Mr. William Mason, Dr. Smollett, Mr. Strahan, and Mr. Newbery, +of St. Paul's Church Yard, who bought 6 books--not unnaturally, for he +was the publisher. A decade later, the subscribers to _The Poetical +Works of William Woty_ included James Boswell, Esq., George Colman, +Esq., Mr. Garrick, Dr. Johnson, and this time for but one set, Mr. +Newbery. After still another decade, when Woty published in Derby his +_Poems on Several Occasions_, the list of subscribers included none of +these names, even though this collection included _The Graces_, with its +dozen lines on Samuel Johnson (now omitting from page 11 the couplet on +Bute) which reveal no degree of intimacy, but do show respect and +admiration for him. + + * * * * * + +_The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette; or, Lord Chesterfield's Advice to his +Son, versified, By a Lady_, is both longer and later than _The Graces_; +unlike that poem, it remains anonymous. The lady versifier, though +somewhat repetitious in her matter (her defence would of course be that +she followed her source), cannot be accused of incompetence in her +prosody. Of the 366 lines, she has precious few which scan roughly or +rhyme inaccurately; those few come within legitimate poetic license--on +the whole, a slightly smoother versification than in Goldsmith's then +popular "Retaliation," dashed off in response to a jest at The Club but +not published until shortly after his death in 1774. Alike in verse +form, the two poems differ significantly in ideas and style; there the +discrepancy justifies the different fates of the two. In the poem here +reprinted, the only passage deserving individual comment is the anecdote +of Philip and the blanc mange (see pages 13 and 14). Lord Charlemont, in +the course of answering a query from Lord Bruce about young Stanhope's +character, recounts the incident, having had it from an eyewitness: the +food was baked gooseberries and whipped cream, and the Earl's comment, +"John, why do you not fetch the strop and the razors? you see your +master is going to shave himself" (_Charlemont MSS_., I, 327-328). + +The reviewers did little for _The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette_; most +ignored the pamphlet. _The Monthly Miscellany_ for June 1776 provided a +few kindly lines: "This didactic rhapsody, the precepts contained in +which are founded upon passages referred to in his Lordship's letters, +is written in hendecasyllable measure, and is not destitute of humour." +The _Monthly Review_ for the same month had less to say: "We should be +miserably deficient in the fine Gentleman's Etiquette, were we to +criticise a lady for employing her time as she pleases." + + * * * * * + +In one sense, both burlesquers hit the weak spot in Chesterfield's +_Letters_. Since his purpose is to entertain through exaggeration, a +parodist is not required to be fair or to distinguish between an editor +without judgment and the writer of intimate letters; so long as +something can be made ludicrous, 'twill suffice. Yet essentially the +burlesquers and many a critic then and since have missed what +Chesterfield was writing in his letters and living in his long life. +Blinded by the trivia inevitable in hundreds of letters carrying anxious +parental advice, the critics have too often ignored or misinterpreted +Chesterfield's passion for helping. He lavished countless hours, during +the busiest part of his life, writing to his son in an effort to round +out his education where it was distressingly deficient--not in +strengthening it where it was strong. The pattern of trying to help is +repeated: Chesterfield did his level best with his godson; he gave what +was seemly to his young friend Huntingdon and likewise to Solomon +Dayrolles. Five unpublished letters at Yale, to a Mr. Clements of +Dublin, repeat the formula on a minor scale, the fifty-five-year-old +earl laying out a plan of education for the family hopeful. +Chesterfield's interest to do good shows at its best in his too little +known letter to the Duke of Bedford condemning the brutal treatment of +French prisoners (Dobree, VI, 2960). These all reveal something more +praiseworthy in the man than the common interpretation of him. + +Refreshing, sophisticatedly unsophisticated, yet genuinely revealing of +Lord Chesterfield's character, are a half dozen unknown couplets which +almost summarize his philosophy of manners. Since his sense of humor can +be questioned only by those themselves blind and deaf to humor, his +dislike here for laughter should be taken for what he intends--disgust +at vacuous guffaws. The society he praises has fun without attendant +headaches or regrets. Surely, one could do worse than to be, with him, +"innocently gay." The verses appeared in the _London Chronicle_ for May +28-30, 1776; an autograph copy, said to be dated 1761 and forming part +of the Alfred Morrison collection, was sold at auction in 1918.[3] + + Let social mirth with gentle manners join, + Unstunned by laughter--uninflamed by wine; + Let Reason unimpaired exert its powers, + But let gay Fancy strew its way with flowers. + Far hence the Wag's and Witling's scurril jest, + Whose noise and nonsense shock the decent guest; + True Wit and Humour such low helps decline, + Nor will the Graces owe their charms to wine. + Fools fly to drink (in native dullness sunk) + In vain; they're ten times greater fools when drunk.-- + Thus, free from riot, innocently gay, + We'll neither wish, nor fear our final day. + + Sidney L. Gulick + San Diego State College + + + + +NOTES + + +Except for the title page of _The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette_, which +comes from the University of North Carolina. + +[1] See my _Chesterfield Bibliography to 1800_, Papers of the +Bibliographical Society of America, XXIX (1935), 68-70 and 82-89. + +[2] Mr. Cecil Price, of Aberystwyth University, called the _London +Chronicle_ item to my attention several years ago, pointing out that +Professor James L. Clifford had identified this reference at note 160 in +his edition of _Dr. Campbell's Diary_ (Cambridge, 1947). The _CBEL_ +lists _The Graces_ as by Woty, but without stating its authority. + +[3] The sale catalogue authenticates the poem here given by printing a +short passage from it (page 238, lot 1405; sold by Messrs. Sotheby, +Wilkinson, & Hodge; 18 April 1918). + + + + +NOTES TO _THE GRACES_ + +Full annotation is not intended, but identification of a few allusions +in this poem may be helpful. + + p. 4 Sir Fletcher Norton (1716-89), currently Speaker of the House of + Commons. + + Edward Thurlow (1731-1806), recently notable for successfully + opposing perpetual copyright. + + John Dunning (1731-83), lawyer and member of Parliament, Mrs. + Eugenia Stanhope's legal counsel when Chesterfield's executors + wished to stop publication of the letters. See my article, "The + Publication of Chesterfield's _Letters to his Son_," PMLA, LI + (March 1936), 171. + + p. 5 William Blackstone (1723-80), already a judge and the author + of the famous _Commentaries_. + + Schomberg (probably Isaac, 1714-80, rather than his twin brother + Raphael, 1714-92), Sir John Pringle (1707-82), and William + Bromfield (1712-92) were physicians, respectively, to Garrick, + King George III, and his Queen. + + p. 6 The current Bishop of Peterborough was Dr. John Hinchliffe + (1731-94). + + Hans Stanley (1720?-80), M.P., political and diplomatic figure. + + Great Tallboy--apparently Charles Talbot, twelfth Earl and only + Duke of Shrewsbury (1660-1718), "A man of great personal + attractions, ... called by Swift 'the favourite of the nation'" + (_Concise DNB_). + + Haslang--Joseph Xaver (ca 1700-83), Freiherr (later Graf) von + Haszlang, Bavarian minister to England 1741-83 (Yale _Walpole_, + IX, 185, n. 25). + + p. 9 Spranger Barry (1719-77), famous tragic actor, or possibly his + wife, Ann Spranger Barry (1734-1801). + + p. 12 John Hill (1716?-75), prolific compiler of works on varied + subjects; about a year previously he had been made knight of the + Swedish order of Vasa. + + + + + + THE + + GRACES: + + A + + POETICAL EPISTLE + + [Price One Shilling.] + + + + + [Illustration] + + THE + + GRACES: + + A + + POETICAL EPISTLE. + + FROM A + + GENTLEMAN TO HIS SON. + + LONDON: + + Printed for the AUTHOR, and Sold by W. FLEXNEY, in Holborn. + + MDCCLXXIV. + + + + +THE GRACES: + +A + +POETICAL EPISTLE. + + + Pride of my youth, and Comfort of my age! + To thee I consecrate this useful page. + Vers'd in the nicest arts of human kind, + To thee thy Parent pours forth all his mind; + And be it thine to treasure in thy heart + The grand _arcana_, which I now impart. + + As Health derives its most important charge, + More from the smaller vessels than the large, + On small events so man's success depends, + By these alone he gains the greatest ends; + And as he keeps this maxim, or forsakes, + A Trifle marrs him, or a Trifle makes. + + Court then the Graces, court! as I have done; + This rule adopt, or quit the name of Son. + This I will hollow constant in thy ear, + As loud as _Hotspur_ hollow'd _Mortimer_: + I would not keep a cat, or feed a bird, + That pip'd ungraceful, or ungraceful purr'd[1]. + + Let strict _Attention_ all your acts direct, + It wins Applause, as it denotes Respect. + Observe it in the most minute degree, + As well when _out_ of, as _in_ company. + Observe it even in the SHRINE OF EASE, + An error there the GODDESS may displease. + Learn what materials will your purpose fit, + And next enquire the _Quantum sufficit_; + That _quantum_ then in even folds dispose, + And wipe as cleanly, as you'd wipe your Nose. + In ev'ry circumstance, in ev'ry place, + The ease of Nature asks the ease of Grace. + What pity 'tis! a Gentleman can't send + This vulgar deed his Proxy to attend. + 'Tis quite _beneath_ the dignity of man, + So prithee, Child! avoid it--if you can; + But if it prove an irksome, windy war, + And nought, but vent, can terminate the jar; + _Distinct and graceful_, let th' explosion sound, + And fill with Harmony the sweet profound. + + Think not that Merit of itself can raise + Promotion's ladder, or the step of Praise[2]. + How came SIR FLETCHER in the Speaker's Chair! + Did Merit, or the Graces place him there. + Without the Graces what would THURLOE be! + THURLOE the Sage--a brief without a fee; + If more polite, perhaps he might be CHIEF, + And then he'd have the Fee without the Brief. + Say! was it Merit, like a blazing Star, + That first distinguish'd DUNNING at the Bar! + By Grace, and Attitude, the Prize he won, + For he and Grace, and Grace and he are one; + And whilst his rapid energy alarms, + The _Lawyer_ strikes us--but th' ADONIS charms. + + To Justice BLACKSTONE now direct your eyes, + With him in parts what other Justice vies! + 'Twas his to comment, his to analyze, + And draw the cobweb-curtain from our eyes; + Each legal winding nicely to explore, + And give to RUFUS one sound Lawyer more. + But what of that! he might have still retail'd + Inglorious Fees, had not his form prevail'd; + His gracious form, by Nature fram'd to please, + Which robs ANTINOUS of half his ease. + + To Physic now--that claims the second place. + SCHOMBERG has Skill, but PRINGLE has the Grace; + And yet--but how I know not--I protest, + THAT Schomberg's universally carest; + Hated perhaps--for taking NATURE'S part-- + By none, but the Professors of the ART. + + Tho' BROMFIELD operates as quick as thought, + His Fame and Judgment would be set at nought + Did not the sweetness of his soft Address, + That graceful mode he carves with, more or less, + Conduce to save his happy patient's life, + And make him look with pleasure at his knife. + + Thus with Divines. The multitude caress + The Preacher of the most expert Address. + 'Tis not the doctrine that the crowd revere, + They go to please the eye, and not the ear; + Hundreds, in spite of those who truly teach, + To ----[3] flock, tho' PETERBOROUGH preach. + + Think you (and this to CHATHAM I submit) + That parts superior rais'd the name of PITT! + No--'twas that elegant, HANS STANLEY Ease, + That manner soft, which could not fail to please; + That magic something, which yet wants a name, + And hands GREAT TALLBOY to immortal fame. + + Say! was it parts (tho' WALPOLE ne'er had more) + That held up NORTH amidst a factious roar! + With cautious eye the steady helm he guides, + And o'er the sea of state triumphant rides. + Firm, as the solid rock, that nobly braves + The raving fury of the lashing waves, + He stands--and mocks, un-conscious of a shame, + The voice of Clamour, and the lies of Fame. + But did th' exertion of his parts alone + Give, or deserve the favour of the throne! + Tho' blest with Goodness both of Heart and Head, + That goodness had remain'd inert and dead, + His well-earn'd consequence would ne'er maintain, + Were he not HASLANG'D in the Graces train. + + But now to more familiar rules I fall, + And beg you'll practise and observe 'em all. + When at the Play, be all alike serene, + Or at the tragic, or the comic scene. + Let Humour (GARRICK standing by her side) + With laughter loud plebeian mouths divide, + Whose ha! ha! ha's! the tender ear annoy. + Do thou disdain the coarse, unmeaning joy;[4] + Nor ope your lips, but purely to disclose + How white your teeth, how accurate the rows. + + When Tragedy puts on her sable stole, + Whose very looks convey her very soul; + Whose words a murderer's repose defeat, + And make a _Nabob_ shudder in his seat; + Whose plaintive tones can melt the worthy breast, + That ever melts, when Merit is distrest; + Who calls forth tears, of tears a copious store + From sullen eyes, that never wept before; + Tears that do honour to the human heart, + And such as BARRY can at will impart; + When such the sympathy (tho' ne'er so strong) + Ah! catch not thou th' effusion of the throng; + For if they see you shed one real tear, + The very men who shift the scenes will sneer. + + Now list attentive! list! whilst I unfold + A secret, that in verse has ne'er been told. + All think they know it, but 'tis known to few, + That is, how best to buckle on your shoe; + Tho' strong their judgment, and their fancy bright, + Ten do it wrong for one, who does it right. + On this side some, and some on that display + This useful ornament in awkward way. + But wiser thou! observe nor that, nor this, + Say what men will, both methods are amiss; + The _medium_ of the foot denotes the place, + Its proper fixture for external grace[5]. + + With all his open manliness of mind, + Where solid sense, and sterling wit are join'd, + In life poor _Classic_ never could advance, + The reason's plain--poor _Classic_ could not dance. + + How long in vain did learned JOHNSON toil! + And waste in busy thought the midnight oil: + Whose page the Critics ever must revere, + As long as genius is reputed dear, + Whose heart exults, or swells with honest rage, + As Vice, or Virtue marks the rising age; + Whose nervous writings shook the trump of Fame, + Yet left him nothing but a deathless name. + But when the features of each grace he wore, + And look'd as JOHNSON never look'd before, + Then came the meed, that honourable gain, + Which sheds such lustre over GEORGE'S Reign, + That meed, which no good man can wish remov'd, + Hinted by BUTE, by MAJESTY approv'd. + + Adieu! and let the Graces be your text,[6] + But I'll be more explicit in my next: + There will I teach thee, with a sire's concern, + All that is proper for a son to learn: + In pleasing segments how to pare your nails,[7] + Segments must please, as long as taste prevails. + The conduct of your breeches there make known, + How best to pull 'em up, and let 'em down. + Teach thee to handle with peculiar grace, + The snuff-box, toothpick, and the toothpick-case, + And how to cut and eat a currant tart, + Nor let your napkin, or your chin have part. + Once more, my Child! adieu! Remember me, + And ne'er, O ne'er forget the GRACES THREE! + Hug 'em as close, as, when he goes to rest, + HILL hugs his graceful _Order_ to his breast. + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] The graceful manner of speaking is particularly what I shall always +hollow in your ear, as _Hotspur_ hollow'd _Mortimer_ to _Henry_ the +fourth, and like him, I have aimed to have a Starling taught to say, +"_Speak distinctly and_ _gracefully_," and send him you to replace your +loss of the unfortunate Matzell, who by the way, I am told, spoke his +language _distinctly and gracefully_. + +Lord Chesterfield's Letter to his Son, page 305. 4to. edit. 1st. Vol. + + +[2] I must repeat it to you over and over again, that with all the +knowledge which you may have at present, or hereafter acquire, and with +all the merit that ever man had, if you have not a graceful address, &c. +you will be nobody. Page 500, 1st. Vol. + +[3] The reader is desired to fill up this blank to his own mind. + +[4] You may often be seen to smile, but never heard to laugh, while you +live. Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and +ill-manners. It is the manner in which the mob express their silly joy +at silly things. In my mind there is nothing so illiberal and so +ill-bred as audible laughter. Page 268. + +[5] I am very glad you have received the diamond buckles safe. All I +desire in return for them is, that they may be buckled even upon your +foot, and that your stockings may not hide them. + +[6] The Graces, the Graces, remember the Graces. Page 390. + +[7] The ends of your nails should be small segments of circles, &c. +every time that you wipe your hands, rub the skin round your nails +backwards, that it may not grow up and shorten your nails too much. Vol. +II. page 60. + + + + +FINIS. + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD's + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + [Price One Shilling.] + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD's + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + By a LADY. + + [Illustration] + + LONDON: + + printed for T. DAVIES, in Russel-Street. + + M DCC LXXVI. + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + + THE + + FINE GENTLEMAN'S ETIQUETTE; + + OR, + + LORD CHESTERFIELD'S + + ADVICE TO + + HIS SON, + + VERSIFIED. + + + [a] "Sufficiently master of Latin and Greek," + You now, with the Graces, acquaintance must seek, + On Ida, we're told, the fair Goddesses dwell, + Invoke them by strong incantation, and spell, + Your incense once paid, on their candour rely, + "[b] With ardour pursu'd, they of course will comply; + "[c] So well know the poets their use my good friend, + "They make 'em, all three, upon Venus attend; + "And surely, if Venus, attractions cou'd need, + "Minerva, ungrac'd, cannot hope to succeed;" + Courage! mon garcon, throw the pedant aside, + And 'stead of friend [1]Harte, adopt me for your guide, + In courts, at ruells, you can ne'er hope to shine, + Unless with the virtues, the Graces combine: + [a] Page 5. second volume. + [b] Page 92. second volume. + [c] Page 33. ditto. + + I beg you'll acquire, or we ne'er shall agree, + The air, the _tournure, de la bonne compagnie_, + "[d] This soon among people of fash'on you'll catch, + "If careful you are, their behav'our to watch; + "Observe their address, and pray likewise contrive, + "Deep into the springs of their actions, to dive: + "'Bove all things, have art to discover each failing, + "Their merit particular, weakness prevailing; + "This accomplish'd, advantage you'll infinite reap, + "And may safe of their heads, and their hearts, take a peep." + Form friendships, but let it be only with those + On whose fond credulity you may impose; + Their confidence gain'd, unsuspected you'll soon, + Discover their secrets, and make them your own; + 'Tis of honor no breach, to betray thus a friend, + If you find, to your int'rest, 'twill visibly tend: + These maxims, thro' life, I wou'd have you pursue, + I practis'd them once, and now hand them to you; + Successful they were, they brought honors and fame, + For still I had art to preserve my good name; + "[e] 'Twere wrong to suppose, what the polish'd world say; + "That in manners, and carr'age, you're horrid _outre_;" + "Your air [2]Pollisson, and the taste of your cloaths, + "Makes you pass for a Bourgeois that nobody knows; + "In short, that you want, since the truth I must own, + "[3]_Tous ces petits riens qui donnent le bon ton_." + "[f] I happen'd, by chance, to step in tother day, + "To a print-shop, that luckily, stood in my way, + "Where a print, for your use, I took pains to select, + "And hope to my taste, you will pay due respect; + "'Tis of drawing the school, from a famous design + "Of Carlo Marratti, who stood first in the line + "Of eminent painters, in Europe that drew," + Admir'd, by all lovers of taste, and Virtu: + "In the grey-headed sage the great master you see, + "His scholars he points to, in this you'll agree. + "Their several studies, on which he must speak, + "Are Perspective, Geometry, and statues antique:" + Of each, you a specimen fair will behold.-- + But matters, so obvious, you scarce need be told. + [d] Page 53. second volume. + [e] Page 17. second volume. + [f] Page 101. second volume. + + "On the two former subjects, be pleas'd to observe, + "That quantum sufficit, of either, will serve; + "With regard to the latter, he clearly hath shewn, + "That never enough on that head can be known:" + But now to my favourite, much admir'd theme, + For which, I the Artist, immortal esteem + To you, with instruction divine it is fraught, + Not Apelles could more have excell'd in the thought. + "At top of the piece, in the clouds you will see, + "With dignity seated, the Graces All Three; + "And over them written this sentence quite plain,-- + "Without us, depend on't, all labour is vain." + + "Thus much for description, the print I shall send, + "With all possible speed by the hands of a friend," + "And beg, adoration you will to it pay, + "Such as Catholics use to their saints when they pray: + "An ear, to my precepts, I hope you will lend, + "[g] Nor think, that those Graces, so oft' I commend, + "Must only [4]_les jours de grand Gala_ be worn, + "Since each word, and action, they're meant to adorn." + [g] Page 106. second volume. + + "Your coffee to see you ungracefully sip," + I know, beyond measure, would give me the hyp, + "If, by holding it aukward, your cloaths you should slop," + In a fit, off my chair, I shou'd suddenly drop; + Nor less shou'd I feel, were I destin'd to view, + "A button'd up coat, or a wry buckled shoe: + "Good God! how excessively shocking my doom, + "If when I first see you come into my room; + "[h] Two aukward left legs, and a taylor-like air, + "My sight shou'd accost,"--by the Graces I swear, + All ties of affinity I shou'd disclaim, + And deem you, henceforth, a disgrace to my name. + [h] Page 218. second volume. + + "Your dress to correct, and your carriage to mend, + "Let _le Tailleur_, and what's more [5]_Marcel_ stand your friend; + "_Marcel_, I'm persuaded, will soon teach you how, + "To turn out your toes, and to make a good bow; + "Nor do I despair, but he'll fashon outright, + "Your arms too, and legs, which are both in sad plight: + "Attend on his lessons, with diligent care, + "Of him you'll acquire, _tous les Graces, les manieres_;" + More useful, than classical knowledge, this art + "To deceive, we must first gain access to the heart; + "[i] The heart once engag'd," mind your mood, and your tense, + "And I'll venture my life you impose on the sense; + "This doctrine is orthodox, practis'd by me, + "--Address, is with Statesmen, the true master-key. + "[j] I greatly am chagrin'd, to find that you still + "Are absent, distrait, and present yourself ill," + "That napkin, and bread, your knife, fork, and spoon, + "Where ever you dine, are thrown constantly down;" + To the infinite terror, I'm sorry to say, + Of the company's legs, that within their reach lay: + "Your dress and your person, you likewise neglect," + A proof that my counsel you mean to reject; + From which I infer, that you ne'er will acquire, + "That _tournure_, those Graces," I so much admire: + "With the dead, I a thousand times better am pleas'd, + "Than a man who with fits of distraction is seiz'd; + "For tho' the defunct, no amusement can give, + "From him I no mark of contempt shall receive; + "So absent you seem, I am led to surmize, + "You seldom make use of your ears or your eyes; + "It therefore seems highly expedient to me, + "A flapper shou'd rouze you from this reverie;" + "But mark, on the subject, a word _entres nous_-- + "For this new domestic I pay not a sous: + "That office, friend [6]Christian, must gratis discharge," + Nor suffer you, solus, to wander at large, + Least strangers, that seldom their censure restrain, + Viva voce, shou'd deem you--a person insane: + "The use of those flappers, in Swift you may read, + "Of them the Laputans, your allies, stood in need; + "Whose minds, like to yours, by intense speculations, + "Were too much ingross'd to have useful sensations; + "And but for those flappers, I think there's no doubt + "Their brains 'gainst the posts, they had fairly beat out;" + The sum of my doctrine is [7]_point des grimaces + Et point de distraction, mais souvenir les graces_. + "[k] If you, at my table, shou'd meet Mr. L. + "A fatal catastrophy I can foretell," + "Your heads, 'gainst each other, you'll merciless hit, + "And you'll haggle your fingers, instead of the meat; + "'Tis probable too," this deponent here saith, + "You both, may in winter, be scalded to death, + "By th'hasty infusion of soup boiling hot;"-- + But more, on this head, this deponent says not. + [i] Page 227. second volume. + [j] Page 216. ditto. + [k] Page 262. second volume. + + I oft' from my memory seek to erase + An hour, unto you, big with shame and disgrace; + But vain the attempt, it will uppermost be, + Good heav'n forefend! I the like shou'd e'er see: + For certain it is, as I now am alive, + Another such shock I cou'd never survive: + [8]The fact I allude to you'll easily guess, + 'Twas when with some friends of esteem'd _politesse_, + With me you once din'd, to my grief be it said, + And no little hole in your manners then made: + _Blanche mange_, which you doat on, was part of our fare, + Abhorr'd! be the minute, when first it came there.-- + Henceforth, for your sake, I _Blanche mange_ shall detest, + 'Tho of colour the whitest, and flavour the best; + For when, you close siege, to a pyramid laid, + No respect was to persons, or decency paid: + You not only ate, 'till you cou'd eat no more, + But with it, disfigur'd your visage all o'er: + Your portrait was that, if a likeness you'd have, + Of a man ready lather'd, just going to shave: + Transported with rage, I cou'd scarce keep my seat, + And words, only found, to advise a retreat; + And order your servant to wash your face clean, + Since so dirty a spectacle never was seen: + Where then were the Graces?--that hour sound they slept, + Or else on mount Ida a jubilee kept. + + To acquire the _bon ton_, and excel in address, + Are points upon which I must ever lay stress; + So useful they are, of importance so great, + You'll find 'em, through life, so essential a bait; + That without them as soon may you hope to succeed, + As a man teach the Classicks that never could read: + My counsel is sterling, pray bear it in mind, + A Statesman I was, and belov'd by mankind; + In pleasure, or bus'ness, _les grace_, _les manieres_, + Ensure one success, with the grave, or the fair. + + "Your manners to polish, and time to amuse, + "I hope you have chosen a good [9]_decrotteuse_; + "[l] While aukward and gauche, which at present I fear" + You must not, the hem of my garment come near; + "Great merit esteem will procure it is true, + "But merit alone, be assur'd will not do. + "[m] Your riding and dancing I hope will conduce + "To fash'on your limbs, and to teach them their use;" + I'd have you describ'd, by your air _degagee_, + In order to which, _il vous faut degourdis_,[10] + Of women, you best, _les agrement_ will learn, + But be sure, in your choice, that you rightly discern, + 'Twixt the dissolute fair, that wou'd ruin your fame, + And her, that real lustre will add to your name: + My joy were compleat, could I hear the world say, + Ah! _comme il est galant ce petit Anglois_! + [l] Page 92. second volume. + [m] Page 18. ditto. + + "[n] At Paris arriv'd, you must take 'special care, + "To dress as the people of fash'on do there; + "This does not in finery so much consist, + "As the manner of wearing your cloaths, and the taste. + "Employ the best taylor the place will afford, + "Since much will depend on your _premier abord_, + [11]_Comme un homme du grand monde il vous faut habille_[B] + [12]_Toujours a la mode, et bien proprement mis_: + "Pray find a good _frisieur_ to do your hair well, + "Since that of your dress, is a part material: + "[o] Apropos, of your legs,--garter well up your hose, + "Lest careless they hang o'er the tops of your shoes; + "For nought gives a man a more slovenly air, + "Than aukward dress'd legs, and a rough head of hair + "[p] Be powder'd, be feather'd, be lac'd I entreat," + From the crown of your head, to the soles of your feet; + They must not of fashion, an atom neglect, + That hope, from the women, to challenge respect; + "Whose suffrage to gain, I must beg you'll aspire, + "Since only of them you can lustre acquire." + [n] Page 73. third volume. + [o] Page 220. second volume. + [p] Page 332. second volume. + + "[q] My diamond buckles I fully propose, + "Your feet shall adorn, mine they now wou'd expose;" + "Of all things in nature I mostly abhor," + A Beau, on the verge, of years fifty and four: + Accept them, I beg, with injunction severe, + "[r] To buckle them straight," since to me 'tis not clear, + But one on the outside your foot may be plac'd, + And one on the in, as a proof of your taste; + If this, of a certainty, I cou'd but know, + Without shoes, or buckles, for me you should go. + [q] Page 181. ditto. + [r] Page 66. third volume. + + "[s] Of swords, canes, and snuff boxes, might I advise, + "If elegant, one may of each well suffice:" + There are, who will lavish, on baubles like these, + A sum wou'd procure independence and ease: + Such Beings, alas! not a shilling would lend, + To save from despair, a poor indigent friend: + Oh! shut not your ear, 'gainst the cry of distress, + May the sense of their woes, prove their means of redress: + Tho' chance, in your favour, some difference has made, + No distinction to rank, will hereafter be paid: + Sufficient that thought, human pride to subdue, + Pray let it not pass unregarded by you. + [s] Page 220. second volume. + + "[t] [13]_Comment vont les Graces_, prithee how do they fare, + "Of them have you studied [14]_le grand art de plaire_? + "If you, in the _beau monde_, success would ensure, + "[u] In your manners attend to a certain _douceur_: + "The French, this _douceur_, do most highly esteem, + "'Tis in short [15]_l'aimable, le tout chose_ with them; + Acquire it, dear Phil, or I fair warning give,-- + I ne'er wish to see you as long as you live. + [t] Page 153. third volume. + [u] Page 108. third volume. + + "[v] In your person be cleanly, I humbly intreat, + "And attend to your teeth, that your breath may be sweet, + "Your nails too keep par'd, I outrageous should be, + "If them, tipt with black, I should happen to see. + "By you, may these hints, not improper be held, + "[w] Since once, 'bove your fellows, in dirt you excell'd; + "And oft', when a lad, have you suffer'd disgrace, + "For neglecting to wash both your hands, and your face:" + 'Tho trifling these matters, to you, may appear, + With me, they weigh more than the gold of Ophir; + Since a dunce well accomplish'd more merit can boast, + Than a book-worm that smells of the deep college rust. + A father, I am, to your faults nothing blind, + And claim a free licence for speaking my mind; + "By this lecture on cleanliness, all I propose is, + "[x] That you may not offend peoples eyes, or their noses." + [v] Page 74. third volume. + [w] Page 74. ditto. + [x] Page 182. second volume. + + "[y] A bill I receiv'd, but the truth to confess, + "It puzzl'd me much at the drawer to guess; + "No advice you had given of such an intent, + "From which I suspected, a fraud might be meant; + "Since always in matters of business, like these, + "'Tis usual the party in time to apprize: + "And what more confirmed these suspicions, my friend, + "It did not appear to have ever been sign'd: + "The person that brought it, desir'd me to look, + "Again at the bottom, where what I mistook + "For somebody's mark, by the help of a glass, + "Your name really prov'd,--to my sorrow, alas! + "Since wrote in a hand, both the worst, and the least, + "In my life I beheld, it must needs be confess'd: + "And rather, by far, I'd have lost the whole sum, + "Than such a vile scrawl from your hand should have come. + [y] Page 113. third volume. + + [z] In spelling, my son, I shall give you your due, + For so great a proficient on _yearth_ I ne'er knew; + "_Enduce_, for induce, you now actually spell, + "For grandeur, _grandure_, which to you sounds as well; + "Two capital blunders, I beg you will note, + "Since few of my house-maids such stuff wou'd have wrote:" + To give my ideas at once their full scope, + Your progress in nonsense, inclines me to hope, + That soon an epistle, from you I shall see, + Wherein will be spelt the word joy with a g. + [z] Page 81. third volume. + + [a] I well am inform'd, there is still in your speech, + "A most disagreeable hobble, or hitch;" + Not yet to have conquer'd bad habits, dear Phil, + With me, needs must wear the appearance of ill; + Still falsely attach'd to the errors of youth, + Still aukward in manners, in speech still uncouth: + I dare not the flattering hope entertain, + That you, as an orator, credit will gain; + If so, to my pride 'twill an overthrow be, + And certain disgrace must accrue unto thee: + "[b] At Athens, to orat'ry, such the respect, + "That of it, herb women, were judges correct:" + But lest my assertion with you shou'd want weight, + I'll venture a story in point to relate: + [a] Page 42. ditto. + [b] Page 43. third volume. + + _Theophrastus_, at _Athens_, one day in the street, + By chance, with an herb-woman, happen'd to meet; + A question he ask'd: he not speaking Greek pure, + A _stranger_ she call'd him,--of this I am sure, + Thou art not of _Athens_, a city renown'd, + For oratory, elegance, learning profound: + Her judgment I praise, not mistaken was she, + It prov'd, that of _Athens_, no native was he: + Apply to yourself, what above I have wrote, + That you, thro' neglect, may no stranger be thought: + I ne'er can the study enough recommend, + Your fortune, and character, on it depend; + My protection you'll forfeit, the truth I must speak, + [c] Unless you a figure in Parliament make. + [c] Page 283. second volume. + + "[d] On carving, a hint I shall venture to give, + "Attention it claims, ev'ry day that you live: + "Do you carve with _adroitness_, the truth prithee own, + "Without hacking, at least half an hour cross a bone: + "Or spatt'ring the sauce in your company's faces, + "And into their pockets o'erturning the glasses;" + While labouring you seem, and at no common rate, + With your sleeve, all the time, in your next neighbour's plate? + Such aukward behaviour admits no excuse, + 'Tis avoided with ease, by attention and use; + I therefore shall hope, that e'er this you are able, + To acquit yourself well at the head of a table: + The reverse shou'd it prove (which good heav'n avert) + Believe me, the shock, I but ill could support; + To find you _distrait_, aukward, clumsy, ill-bred, + And only in books, not in manners well read; + I frankly confess, I shall wish from my soul, + We two may be distant, as South from North pole. + [d] Page 68. ditto. + + With regard to your gallantry, much has been said, + 'Tho silence profound, you observe on that head, + "[e] Your converse with women, respectful must be, + "But likewise observe _au meme temps enjoue_: + "[f] On score of their beauty, good sense, or their graces, + "The sex you may flatter, all times, in all cases; + "They love admiration, and think it can ne'er, + "On any conditions be purchas'd too dear: + "These hints from the sex, must with care be conceal'd, + "No mercy expect if they once are reveal'd;" + Revenge is their passion, and well I discern, + "[g] Like Orpheus, in pieces, by them you'd be torn:" + "[h] One maxim pray treasure as long as you live, + "No mark of contempt either sex will forgive; + "The vanity flatter'd of women, or men, + "Ensures you success with just nine out of ten:" + [e] Page 332. second volume. + [f] Page 57. ditto. + [g] Page 57. second volume. + [h] Page 178. third volume. + + Resolve me a question I wish much to know, + "[i] Your passion, how stands it, for _Madame de Blot_? + "Does she list to your tale, are there hopes of success? + "To me, you the secret, may safely confess: + "On giving the _mohair_, occasion will serve, + "_Pour faire le galant_, which you'll doubtless observe;" + Te Deum I'll sing when the vict'ry is sure,-- + 'Tho much I suspect you'll not prove her _meilcour_; + "She, constant has been to her husband, they say, + "And married, poor soul! 'bove a year and a day;" + Small chance do you stand with a woman so chaste,-- + Exclude her, at once, from the region of taste + A beauty obdurate, to lovers a score! + At Paris, the thing was ne'er heard of before; + By you, if the willow, for her must be worn, + No French woman she, in her heart, I'll be sworn. + [i] Page 351. second volume. + + "In all that you do, and whatever you say, + "I hope, to the Graces, you sacrifice pay, + "Assiduously courted, their favour you'll gain," + So shall not, my labour of love, "be in vain." + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] Mr. _Harte_, Mr. _Stanhope_'s tutor. + +[2] Slovenly air. + +[3] Those little nothings that give the ton. + +[4] High Court, or Jubilee Days. + +[5] A famous dancing master at that time in Paris. + +[6] Mr. Stanhope's gentleman. + +[7] No distortion of countenance, or aukward behaviour; no absence of +mind; but to keep the Graces always in remembrance. + +[8] Mr. Stanhope dined one day with some company at his father's, when +the following circumstance happen'd, which so much enrag'd him, that he +called for his servant to take him from table and wash him clean. + +[9] A female polisher of manners. + +[10] Have your stiffness remov'd. + +[11] You should dress like a man of the great world. + +[12] Always in the fashion, and your cloaths well put on. + +[13] What success with the Graces. + +[14] The great art of pleasing. + +[15] The amiable, the every thing. + + + + +FINIS. + + + + + William Andrews Clark Memorial Library: University of California + + THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY + + _General Editors_ + + R.C. Boys + University of Michigan + + Ralph Cohen + University of California, Los Angeles + + Vinton A. Dearing + University of California, Los Angeles + + Lawrence Clark Powell + Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library + + _Corresponding Secretary_: Mrs. Edna C. Davis, Wm. Andrews Clark + Memorial Library + + +The Society's purpose is to publish reprints (usually facsimile +reproductions) of rare seventeenth and eighteenth century works. All +income of the Society is devoted to defraying costs of publication and +mailing. + +Correspondence concerning subscriptions in the United States and Canada +should be addressed to the William Andrews Clark Memorial Library, 2205 +West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles 18, California. Correspondence +concerning editorial matters may be addressed to any of the general +editors. The membership fee is $4.00 a year for subscribers in the +United States and Canada and 15/-for subscribers in Great Britain and +Europe. British and European subscribers should address B.H. Blackwell, +Broad Street, Oxford, England. + + +Publications for the fourteenth year (1959-1960) + +Six items, most of them from the following list, will be reprinted. + +_Two Burlesques of Chesterfield_ (1774, 1776). Selected, with an +introduction, by Sidney Gulick. Richard Savage, _An Author to be Let_ +(1732). Introduction by James Sutherland. William Herbert, Third Earl of +Pembroke. _Poems_ (1660). Introduction by Gaby Onderwyzer. Francis +Hutcheson, _Reflections on Laughter_ (1729). Introduction by Scott +Elledge. _Eighteenth-Century Newspaper Essays on the Theatre._ Selected, +with an introduction, by John Loftis. [Peter Whalley] _An Essay on the +Manner of Writing History_ (1746). Introduction by Keith Stewart. +_Sawney and Colley_ [1742] and other Pope pamphlets. Edited, with an +introduction, by W. Powell Jones. Henry Fuseli, _Remarks on the Writings +and Conduct of J. J. Rousseau_ (1767). Introduction by Karl S. Guthke. +[Charles Croke] _Fortune's Uncertainty_ (1667). Introduction by William +Matthews. + +Single copies of past publications, except those which are out of print, +are available at $.75 each. A list of publications in print may be +obtained by writing to the Society. + + +THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY _WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY_ +2205 West Adams Boulevard, Los Angeles 18, California + +Make check or money order payable to The Regents of the University of +California. + + + * * * * * + + + +Transcriber's Notes + +A. "The Graces" + +On p. 2, extra quotation mark deleted in the phrase "speak distinctly +and gracefully" in footnote 1. + +On page 7, "observe e'm all" has been amended to "observe 'em all". + +On p. 21 The redundant double quotation mark after "_grandure_," has been +deleted. + + +B. "The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette" + +These typos have been amended: + +On p. 7, "supprose" has been amended to +"suppose". + +On p. 20, "you hand" has been amended to "your hand". + +This poem makes much use of quotation marks. It is not always certain +that they have been put in the correct place, but they have been left +unchanged. + +In "The Fine Gentleman's Etiquette", there are two sets of footnotes. +One set, which contains references to Chesterfield's Letters, is +anchored with lower-case alphabetic characters, and placed after the +relevant paragraph. The second set is anchored with Arabic numerals and +placed at the end of the poem. + +In footnote 4 the word "days" had "s" printed in reverse. 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