diff options
| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-14 20:09:22 -0700 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-14 20:09:22 -0700 |
| commit | de1a4b41ad13604287b55d0cc4055390afad910d (patch) | |
| tree | a465fd9bb7e2eb42e8e57c37b18a0a8717c0101f /38040-h | |
Diffstat (limited to '38040-h')
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/38040-h.htm | 1844 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/033.png | bin | 0 -> 112213 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/034.png | bin | 0 -> 63786 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/035.png | bin | 0 -> 39806 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/036.png | bin | 0 -> 203678 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/037.png | bin | 0 -> 2835492 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/039.png | bin | 0 -> 195722 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/040.png | bin | 0 -> 202958 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/041.png | bin | 0 -> 767044 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 38040-h/images/042.png | bin | 0 -> 1511615 bytes |
10 files changed, 1844 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/38040-h/38040-h.htm b/38040-h/38040-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5123a8b --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/38040-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1844 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" /> <title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Punch, January 27, 1872.</title> +<style type="text/css"> +<!-- +body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + +p {text-align: justify;} + +p.author {margin-top: -1em; margin-right: 5%; text-align: right;} + +p.indent {text-indent: 1.5em;} blockquote {text-align: justify;} + +h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center;} pre {font-size: 0.7em;} + +hr {text-align: center; width: 50%;} + +html>body hr {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;} + +hr.full {width: 100%;} + +html>body hr.full {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + +hr.short {text-align: center; width: 20%;} + +html>body hr.short {margin-right: 40%; margin-left: 40%; width: 20%;} + +.note {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + +span.pagenum {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps; font-weight: normal;} + +.poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;} + +.poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + +.poem p {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + +.poem p.i2 {margin-left: 1em;} + +.figure {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figcenter {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figright {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figleft {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figure img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figcenter img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figright img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figleft img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figure p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figcenter p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figright p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figleft p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figure p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figcenter p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figright p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figleft p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figcenter {margin: auto;} + +.figright {float: right;} + +.figleft {float: left;} + +--> +</style> +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 62, +Jan 27, 1872, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 62, Jan 27, 1872 + +Author: Various + +Release Date: November 17, 2011 [EBook #38040] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON *** + + + + +Produced by Malcolm Farmer, Ernest Schaal, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<h1>PUNCH,<br /> +OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.</h1> + +<h2>Vol. 62.</h2> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<h2>January 27, 1872.</h2> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page033" id="page033"></a>[pg 33]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:50%;"> <a href="images/033.png"><img width="100%" src="images/033.png" alt="" /></a> +<h3>THE LIQUOR CONTROVERSY.</h3> + +<p>'<i>Spectable Citizen</i>. "<span class="smcap">Ish my Opi'ion thish P'missive Bill 'sh Vexash'ious +Measure</span>. (<i>Hic!</i>) <span class="smcap">Why should I be D'prived of Nesh-sh-ary R'freshment, +'cause another Party hasn't—can't—doesn't—know when he'sh had +enough? Shtan' up, Ol' Man!!!"</span></p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>A JINGLE FOR ST. JAMES'S.</h2> + +<h3>(<i>By a Musical Enthusiast.</i>)</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Monday Pops! The Monday Pops</p> +<p>Whoe'er admires what some call "Ops;"</p> +<p>Should go, and lick his mental chops</p> +<p>While feasting at the Monday Pops.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The Monday Pops! The Monday Pops</p> +<p>To me their music far o'er-tops</p> +<p>The jingling polkas and galóps</p> +<p>On cracked pianos played at hops.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Nor almond rock, nor lemon-drops</p> +<p>Nor sugar-plums, nor lollipops</p> +<p>With which small children cram their crops</p> +<p>Are sweeter than the Monday Pops.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The Monday Pops! The Monday Pops</p> +<p>Delight of fogies and of fops</p> +<p>The music that all other wops</p> +<p>Is given at the Monday Pops.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Their fame all rivals far o'er-tops</p> +<p>You see their programmes at the shops</p> +<p>And here the bard exhausted stops</p> +<p>His rhymings on the Monday Pops.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>TRUE BILL?</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">Much</span> ingenuity has been expended in trying to +prove that <span class="smcap">Shakspeare</span> was a lawyer, and, amongst +other passages in his writings, the two first lines of the +Sonnet which commences—</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>"When to the sessions of sweet silent thought</p> +<p>I summon up remembrance of things past,"</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>may be thought to indicate that he possessed legal +acquirements. Has it, however, occurred to the editors +and commentators, that these lines are capable of another +interpretation, and may be considered to add a new item +to our scanty knowledge of <span class="smcap">Shakspeare's</span> personal history, +if we take the more probable view, that when he +penned them he had in his mind's eye those familiar +Tribunals—the Quarter Sessions—to which, it may be +whilst residing in the Metropolis, but most undoubtedly +after his retirement to Stratford, he would be summoned +in the capacity of Grand Juryman?</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>SOUP AND SERMON.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> <i>Morning Post</i> records an interesting case of—</p> + +<blockquote> +"<span class="smcap">Supper To Convicted Felons.</span>—On Tuesday evening a supper was +given to one hundred and fifty convicted felons by <span class="smcap">Ned Wright</span>, the well-known +converted burglar, at the Mission Hall, Hales Street, High Street, +Deptford. The candidates for tickets of admission were compelled to attend +the night before the supper and give an account of themselves to prove that +they really were convicted felons, and by the sharp and close questioning of +<span class="smcap">Mr. Wright</span>, about fifty were refused tickets as impostors." +</blockquote> + +<p>The fifty impostors who were fain to palm themselves off as convicts +for the sake of a supper, must have been poor knaves indeed. +These supernumeraries, for whom there was no seat at the table of +Society, constitute a spectacle on the stage of life which it may be +painful to some people and pleasant to others to contemplate from +the dress circle. It is too probable that this Capital contains very +many more of these Esaus, as they might be called if they had +anything of a character so valuable as a birthright to dispose of on +<span class="smcap">Esau's</span> terms, with the small extras undermentioned:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"The recipients of this Charity were a very motley crew, and ranged in +years from six up to fifty. They were each served with a quantity of soup and a +bag containing bread and a bun, after which <span class="smcap">Mr. Wright</span> addressed them in +his own peculiar manner, being listened to with marked attention." +</blockquote> + +<p><span class="smcap">Mr. Wright</span>, we may suppose, took care to preach in a "tongue +understanded of the people" who constituted his hearers, and +accordingly delivered a considerable portion of his discourse in the +language which our great-grandfathers called thieves' Latin. A +sermon in slang, however, would, perhaps, be more curious than +edifying. Let us hope that <span class="smcap">Mr. Wright's</span> may possibly have had +the effect of converting the guests who would once have been his +pals from the error of their ways, formerly his own. Such, at least, +appears to have been his laudable intention:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"A large number of ladies and gentlemen interested in such work attended +and gave the benefit of their advice and co-operation. In the course of the +evening <span class="smcap">Mr. Wright</span> announced his intention of taking under his patronage +a number of the boys then present, who might be desirous of earning an +honest livelihood, and furnishing them with money and clothes to make a fair +start in life." +</blockquote> + +<p>It would rejoice both ourselves and our benevolent readers to +know that the acceptance of this offer by a considerable number of +<span class="smcap">Mr. Wright's</span> young friends may be the commencement of a career +of good living, wherein they will very soon attain to better fare +than a quantity of soup, a bag of bread, and a bun, quite good +enough as that is for convicted felons, besides being peculiarly suitable +as precluding any necessity for knives and forks chained to the +table.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Lawyers and Lunatics.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">How</span> hardly will Judges, for the most part, admit the plea of +insanity in exculpation from a charge of murder! How readily are +they wont to entertain it as a reason for setting aside a will! How +right they are in either instance! Suppose a maniac is hanged as a +man of sound mind, his execution serves just as well, for the purpose +of example, as it would if he were. But my Luds would make a +mistake on the wrong side by misdirecting Jurors to determine +insanity to have been sanity in a case wherein a lunatic might possibly +have misdisposed of property.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Serious Affair.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">A most</span> determined act of self-inflicted torture has recently +caused a considerable sensation in a fashionable quarter of Town. +A lady, young, lovely, and accomplished, with troops of friends, +and all that makes life enjoyable at her command, was detected +deliberately "screwing up" her face!</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page034" id="page034"></a>[pg 34]</span></p> + +<h2>EXTRACTS FROM THE DIARY OF THE COMING +WOMAN.</h2> + +<hr /> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:30%;"> <a href="images/034.png"><img width="100%" src="images/034.png" alt="T" /></a> +</div> +<p>O the Temple of Untrammelled +Thought.</p> + +<p><i>Sunday, May 10, +1882.</i> Heard a transcendent +oration from +Althea Duxmore on +"Dogmas and Dogmatics." +Bi-monthly +levy for the expenses +of the Temple. Stephanotis +Hewleigh +and I the eleemosynars +who collected in +the new Septentrional +Vestibule, where the +men are put. Their +united contributions +amounted exactly to +half a Victoria! +Several dimes in the +salver. The new Act, +limiting the personal +expenses of Adult +Males, may have +something to do with +this. Shall move in +the Saloon for Returns +showing the +working of the Act. +Alfred nowhere to be +seen in the Vestibule; +perhaps detained by +the children's toilette. +In the afternoon at +the new Museum +of Natural History +opened this Spring, +at Kensington. The Galleries crowded. Several of us, including Professors Sara +Sabina Thewes and Caroline Gostrong, delivered extemporary lectures on the +animals; the men very attentive. In the evening to St. Paul's; heard the new +organist, Charlotte Bach Stopmore, Mus. Doc. The Cathedral a blaze of splendour +with the Tyndaluminospectric light. We Women have yet something to +learn in physical science.</p> + +<p><i>Monday, May 11.</i> Received, by appointment, a deputation from the electors +of New Marylebone, inviting me to candidate that District at the next General +Election. Mrs. Admiral Stenterton, and Miss Lydia Boss Wolloby, the dominant +spokeswomen. Spread out my views on the Husbands' Regulation Movement, +the Cigar-Tax, the Compulsory Inspection of Men's Clubs, and the +Repudiation of the National Debt. All satisfactory, and I agreed to retire from +Jutley. Deputation luncheoned with me. No place kept for Alfred, who had to +sit at a side-table.</p> + +<p>To the Club (the Gynecium), and flashed a long private cryptogram to the +Chairwoman of my Committee at Jutley. Dined at the Club. After dinner in +the Fumitory. Took a Cabriole to the Saloon. Driver an extortionist; but +I knew the exact distance, to the tenth of a kilometre. Saloon debating the +Juries Exemption (Women) Bill. Spoke, I think, with sensation. The venerable +Earl of Hughenden came in as I was perorating. Alfred, in the Gentlemen's +Gallery, in tears. I wore my black velvet and point lace pelerine, with the +diamond star he gave me after the Jutley election. That tiresome, tedious, +insufferable Hannah Longbore (how South-West Suffolk stands her so long +I cannot imagine) prosed on against the Bill, and sided with the Men, but we +fidgeted her down at last. She had on that old crimson satin which has seen +three sessions at least! Maiden speech from Marian Spray—pretty enough. +Forget what Men spoke. Mrs. Leader Donne, the lovely (!) and accomplished +Member for Ironville, closed the debate. Rather too great a parade of learning; +positively she quoted Lycophron in the original! But we all see through Mrs. +Leader's schemes—she means the Educational Under-Secretaryship, when Bella +Falayse goes to the Upper Saloon as a Peeress <i>jure suo</i>. Home by Twelve. +Alfred sitting up for me. What a resource that <i>Hortus Siccus</i> is to him!</p> + +<p><i>Tuesday, May 12.</i>—Card from Madge Bassingham, R.A., for her Inaugural +Praelection, as Pigmentary Professor at the Royal Academy. Could not go, +as I was engaged on a Committee at the Saloon—Metropolis Extension, Brighton +Annexation Bill. Dined with Mrs. Abraham Skrooley, M.P. Woman's party. +The Constantia exquisite. Discussed over our cigarettes the arrangements for +the approximating Women's Cosmopolitan Congress. Alfred and one or two +other Men came in the evening.</p> + +<p><i>Wednesday, May 13.</i> Not well in the morning. Flashed for Dr. Martha +Walkingholme. She was detained at the Spleen Hospital, but her partner, +Harriet Chamomile, came and applied the Magnetic Detonator to my spine and +the backs of my ears. Instant relief. In the evening at the Biennial Banquet +of the Indigent Widowers' Pension Fund at Willis's. The Duchess of Middlesex +in the chair. After dinner the Indigent Widowers circuited the tables, and +attracted much attention by their neat and respectable +appearance. I proposed the toast of "The Gentlemen." +Alfred responsed, and for a wonder did <i>not</i> break +down.</p> + +<p><i>Thursday, May 14.</i> Gave Cook a lesson on the harp +before breakfast. Sitting in the Library reading Mill's +"Woman Triumphant," when my electric alarum rang. +Message from Oxford from my youngest sister, Bianca, +to say that she had that instant been elected Fellow of +Carlyle College. Three hundred and ten competitors. +Tremendous examination, lasting three weeks. Bianca's +thorough domination of Russian, Japanese, political +economy, statistics, aërostatics, electrology, hygiene and +thermapeutics, gave her the victory. Hope some day +she will stand for the University. For joy I took a +half holiday. (Left Alfred quite happy with his silkworms.) +Gymnastic relaxation at the Palaestra on +the Expanse at Hampstead. Then by Tube to Dover. +Tunnelled over to Paris, shopped, and back by the six +rapid. Might have stayed later for we could not make +a Saloon: seven short of the legal Quorum, a hundred—so +many Members (men, I need hardly say) absent at +the Great International Croquet Tryst at the Crystal +Palace. Passed an hour pleasantly at the Diatomaceous +Society, of which I have lately been balloted a Fellow.</p> + +<p><i>Friday, May 15.</i> Busy all the morning preparing my +oration on the "Wise Sayings of Wise Women in all +Countries and Epochs," for the Congress. (Interrupted +twice by Alfred, who had got the housekeeping accounts +and the washing-book into a fearful muddle.) Great +meeting at 3'30 in Emancipation Hall, to welcome Mrs. +Hale Columbia Spragg, the first female President of the +United States. She has transited the Atlantic to attend +our Congress, but can only be present at this evening's +Inauguratory, as she must be in New York again before +sundown to-morrow. Went to the Saloon, but it immediately +adjourned, on the motion of Mr. Theodore +Stuke, to enable the Lady Members to festinate to the +Congress. Immense success. Fifteen hundred Delegates +from every country in the world processed down the +Hall, and then arranged themselves by Continents on +the gilded dais. Twenty-five thousand women computed +to be present in the Spectatorium. Our distinguished +champion and unflinching Hegemon, Amelia Smackles, +assumed the presidential throne. Incessant coruscations +of enthusiasm, which culminated when a black sister +moved the fourteenth resolution, demanding the total, +immediate, and unconditional transfer of all menial +labour from Woman to Man. Did not get home till +1 p.m. Left my key behind me, so obliged to rouse +up Alfred, who was in bed, in great distress at the loss +of one of his canaries, and had forgotten to order my +stout. Vexatious!</p> + +<p><i>Saturday, May 16.</i> Dejeuned at the Constellation +Hotel with dear Amelia, to meet Mrs. President Spragg, +Chief Justice Roberta Cokestone (from Liberia), the +Lady Warden of the Cinque Ports, the Lady Mayoress, +the Mistress of the Mint, and other forward Members +of the Congress. The President left us at noon. She +would balloon over to New York in five hours and a +half. Quiet dinner at Richmond in the evening. Only +Amelia, two of the elder Sisters of the Trinity House, +and the Delegates from Germany, Turkey, Greece, and +China. Bianca joined us unexpectedly from Oxford, +and introduced her bosom friend, the Professor of +Anatomy, Henrietta Stott Trawsell. Delightful promenade +by the river before dinner. Met Alfred fishing +for gudgeon.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>MORE EDUCATION-FIGHT.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">Punch</span> shudders to see the Metric question raised +again. Are we not in the thick of an Educational War +already? Will our contemporaries abstain from putting +new reasons for quarrel into the heads of fanatics. +We shall certainly have the Decimal business taken +up by Denominationalists and by Secularists. Ten +fingers point out that the natural law is one of decimals. +Also, there are ten commandments for the theologian. +On the other hand, there are twelve signs of the Zodiac: +this for nature; and twelve Apostles: this for theology. +O, please let the matter alone, and let the little boys +and girls be taught anyhow, so that they are taught +at all.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page035" id="page035"></a>[pg 35]</span></p> + +<h2>CHURCH DIS-ESTABLISHMENT.</h2> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:30%;"> <a href="images/035.png"><img width="100%" src="images/035.png" alt="T" /></a> +</div> + +<p><span class="smcap">erminal Punch</span>,</p> + +<p>Five more London +churches are to be immediately +destroyed. Down +with them! First down +with St. Mildred's, in the +Poultry. It was built by +<span class="smcap">Sir Christopher Wren</span>, +and somewhere about it +rest the remains of <span class="smcap">Thomas +Tusser</span>, who wrote the +"Five Hundred Points of +Good Husbandry." Sweep +it away, and then batter +down St. Dionis Backchurch, +also built by <span class="smcap">Sir +Christopher</span>. There are +monuments in it to the +great benefactor to the +Bodleian Library, and to +the founder of the Saxon +Lectureship in St. John's +College, Oxford. Who +cares? St. James's, Aldgate, +is to be demolished: +'tis enough that Hebrews +chiefly abide around that +fane, and need it not. +Out with St. Martin of +Outwich; it hath stood +less than a hundred years, and though it was consecrated by <span class="smcap">Bishop +Porteus</span>, and holdeth fine old monuments, conserved through three +centuries, away with it! Lastly (for the present) turn this pictured +clown's pickaxe upon St. Anthony's, or St. Antholin's, Sise +Lane. That, too, was the work of the Architect of St. Paul's, and +sundry be the memories which our old dramatists and our <span class="smcap">Walter +Scott</span> have hung on "St. Anthing's." It is very meet and right +that the old City churches should all go, few persons now abiding +near them on Sunday, and religion being a thing for Sunday. <span class="smcap">Sir +Christopher's</span> Cathedral, as it is also a Mausoleum, will probably +be spared until some railway or tramway shall want the site.</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="author">Yours, delighted,</p> +<p class="author"><span class="smcap">Erostratus Vandal</span>.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>ORGANS OF OFFENCE.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">On</span> Thursday last week a modification of the American Gatling +Gun, called the "British Mitrailleuse," was tried for the first time +at Woolwich. The following is a description of this benevolent +machine:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"It consists of ten barrels hooped together and revolving in the centre, and +fitted into a carriage like that of an ordinary field-gun, which, at a short +distance, it greatly resembles. The barrels and cartridges are similar to +those of the Henry-Martini rifle—in diameter .45 in.; the cartridge-cases +being of brass, and bottle-necked." +</blockquote> + +<p>Tremendous, however, as may be the execution which this weapon +is capable of doing among a flock of soldiers, authorities are of +opinion that, "like small arms generally, it must give way to rifled +ordnance." On its trial:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"Indeed, most of the Royal Artillery Officers present seemed to think that the +machine-gun can never stand against Artillery, even if its delicate machinery +did not become disarranged by mere musket-shot." +</blockquote> + +<p>So that a comparison is suggested to those who read, that when the +"British Mitrailleuse" is made ready and placed in position—</p> + +<blockquote> +"A handle like that of a street-organ, and fixed at the side of the trail, is +then turned at any degree of rapidity required, and the barrels load and fire +until the supply of cartridges is exhausted, which takes about five minutes +under favourable conditions." +</blockquote> + +<p>One is led to compare the British Mitrailleuse with the Italian +Grinding Organ, and to question if the latter be not, of the two, the +more offensive instrument.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Corrigendum.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> antiquity of the Athanasian Creed being now shown to be a +myth, the date being that of <span class="smcap">Charlemagne</span>, would it not be well, +before the Prayer Book is finally revised, that the correction should +be made? For it will take many a year to abolish the belief that +St. Athanasius drew up the document, especially as divers theologians +think nothing of some four hundred and fifty years of what +they imagine to have been the Dark Ages. "Commonly (but +absurdly) called the Creed of St. Athanasius" is a line that, in a +century or so, might have an effect upon the less un-intelligent.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>A PROFESSION'S UNION.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">At</span> Bas-Unterwald, according to the <i>Swiss Times</i>:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"Strikes are becoming the fashion in the higher circles of society. The +physicians of this peaceful Arcadia have united and struck work, demanding +an increase in their fees. The Laudrath, however, refuses to entertain their +claims, and advises a strike of the patients as the best answer to the physicians' +demands." +</blockquote> + +<p>There was a time when a strike of patients anywhere would have +been attended with a very great decrease of the rate of mortality. +There is reason to suppose that in the present improved condition of +medical science such would not be the case. The strikers, struck +with fever, or other grave illness, would probably be struck down +in rather alarming numbers.</p> + +<p>What justification of a medical strike there may be in Switzerland +hath not appeared, but in this country there is, in some quarters, +not a little. The ridiculously low wages, not to say salary, begrudged, +not to say granted, to Medical Officers by many Poor-Law +Unions would amply warrant the establishment of a Professional +Union corresponding to a Trades' Union, and consisting of sons of +<span class="smcap">Æsculapius</span>. The medico-chirurgical Unionists could manage a +strike well enough without committing any outrage on the Non-Unionists, +or Knobsticks. There would be no need for the Doctors +on strike to picket, and waylay, and beat the others on their road to +the Workhouse, or across country to the recipient of out-door relief; +and they could do without rattening them and filching away their +physic, stethoscopes, and surgical instruments. In dealing with +unworthy members of an honourable Profession, capable of underselling +their brother-chips, the practitioners forming the Union +would require to have recourse to no proceedings associated with +Sheffield; they would find it quite sufficient to send outsiders and +recusants of co-operation in a strike to Coventry.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>OMINOUS INDEED!</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">All</span> England, that reads the newspapers, will have felt the shock +of a truly—</p> + +<blockquote> +"<span class="smcap">Terrific Explosion</span>—Yesterday evening an explosion of a frightful +character occurred at <span class="smcap">Gladstone's</span> Cartridge Factory, Greenwich Marshes, +by which a large number of girls have been seriously injured." +</blockquote> + +<p>Considering for what Constituency the <span class="smcap">Premier</span> is Member of +Parliament, the majority of people cannot but be, momentarily at +least, startled and taken aback by the information in the first place +that <span class="smcap">Gladstone</span> has a Cartridge Factory in Greenwich Marshes, and, +secondly, that it has been the scene of a terrific explosion. Nor +certainly are they likely to be re-assured by the further intelligence +that:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"A few weeks ago the Government seized 365 cases of ball cartridge, +each containing 20 lb. weight, which had been manufactured by <span class="smcap">Mr. Gladstone</span> +for the French Government during the late war." +</blockquote> + +<p>The obvious suggestion conveyed by this statement is, that there +has occurred not only a terrific explosion in the borough of Greenwich, +but also a not less alarming blow-up in the Cabinet. +<i>Absit omen!</i></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>ELEGANT ADVERTISING.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">If</span> you like, read this advertisement from the <i>Christian World</i>:—</p> + +<blockquote> +CO-PARTNER WANTED, by a highly respectable Man, aged 30, +member of Spurgeon's. A gentlemanly person required, a believer +with about £50, and who can travel.—Address, &c. +</blockquote> + +<p>Hm! In the first place a gentlemanly person would not wish to +hear his partner talk in that exceedingly curt way of their minister +and his flock. "Member of Spurgeon's." "One who regularly +attends the ministrations of the Reverend <span class="smcap">C. H. Spurgeon</span>, B.M." +would be more gentlemanly language. Nextly, "a believer with about +£50" reads rather Mammonish. It suggests that a sceptic with about +£75, or a positivist with about £100, would not be unacceptable. +Thirdly, "who can travel." Who <i>can't</i> travel with about £50? <span class="smcap">Mr. +Cook</span> will give you a return-ticket for the Pyramid for about that. +Fourthly, the "and" is abominable English. We wish our +esteemed friend the <i>Christian World</i> would edit its advertisements. +We really can't be always doing it.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Dignity for Doctors.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">It</span> is suggested that a fitting honour to be conferred on meritorious +Physicians and Surgeons would be that of the Order of the Bath. +Nothing could be more suitable; but should the Bath be the Hot-Bath +or the Cold?</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page036" id="page036"></a>[pg 36]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> <a href="images/036.png"><img width="100%" src="images/036.png" alt="" /></a> + +<h3>GENEROSITY.</h3> + +<p><i>Noble Lord</i> (<i>whose Rifle has brought to a scarcely untimely end a very consumptive-looking Fallow Deer</i>). "<span class="smcap">Tut—t, t, t, t, Tut! O, +I say, Stubbs!</span>—(<i>to his Keeper</i>)—<span class="smcap">you shouldn't have let me Kill such a poor, little, sickly, scraggy Thing as this, you +know! It positively isn't fit for Human Food! Ah! look here, now! I'll Tell you what. You and McFarlin may +have this Buck between you!!!</span>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>A SEAT ON A SAFETY-VALVE.</h2> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="smcap">An</span> Income-tax partial see <span class="smcap">Thiers</span> oppose,</p> +<p class="i2">O <span class="smcap">William</span> the Earnest, O <span class="smcap">Robert</span> the True!</p> +<p>A soul above fear of the Rabble he shows;</p> +<p class="i2">Is that to be said, British Statesmen, of you?</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Or is it that you, whom mob-courtship doth move</p> +<p class="i2">With tribute from all due to load a part's purse.</p> +<p>Albeit your Honours both see and approve</p> +<p class="i2">The better arrangements, do follow the worse?</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>How bad are the worse, which poor fleeced Britons rue,</p> +<p class="i2">You have often confessed; but decline to advance</p> +<p>On that high path which upright financiers pursue;</p> +<p class="i2">They manage these matters much better in France.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>For justice it is which disposes them there,</p> +<p class="i2">Political craft in this mighty free land,</p> +<p>Whose Rulers perpend not what impost were fair,</p> +<p class="i2">But what imposition tax-payers will stand.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>It was not enough upon shoulders select</p> +<p class="i2">To pile your whole Budget; on folk thus oppressed</p> +<p>(As housebreakers use, the strong-box to detect)</p> +<p class="i2">The Screw has been put; they are over-assessed.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>You fancy your Engine is working so well</p> +<p class="i2">By way of a Steam-Rack, 'twill yet more extort,</p> +<p>And bear any pressure your force can compel;</p> +<p class="i2">You sit on the safety-valve, therefore, in short.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>O <span class="smcap">William</span> the Daring! O <span class="smcap">Robert</span> the Rash!</p> +<p class="i2">Though deaf to remonstrance, to caution give ear,</p> +<p>Ere high-pressure boiler burst up with a crash,</p> +<p class="i2">And blow aloft Stoker and hoist Engineer.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>SAD ALTERATION.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Dramatist has led us to think that "Music hath charms to +soothe the savage breast," but the "Heavenly Maid" is not so +"young" as she was when <span class="smcap">Congreve</span> wrote, and increasing years +seem to have changed her mood and spoiled her temper. What +other conclusion can we come to, when we find in an article on +"Music" in one of the newspapers, in some comments on the performance +of a young lady on the piano at a Monday Popular Concert, +the disquieting statement that she "left her mark as usual on the +audience, the music, and the piano"? It is some little relief to +find the writer adding that "this last was more than once punished +severely;" as it is a fair inference to draw, that whatever the +sufferings of the piano may have been, the music, and, which is far +more important, the audience, escaped with only one assault.</p> + +<p>The Managers of the Monday Concerts should consider, before it is +too late, whether they are not endangering the well-deserved popularity +of their agreeable entertainments, by allowing performances +which would seem to have rather too striking an effect upon the +hearers.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Nocens Absolvitur.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> <i>South London News</i> makes rather an unkind suggestion. +Thieves enter tradesmen's shops, under pretence of selling something. +The <i>News</i> thinks that people who would be exempt from +such visits should "keep watch, and, on opportunity, hand the +victims over to the police." This may be fair in South London, +wherever that is, but in Fleet Street we do not dispense that kind +of justice.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>A HINT TO L. AND B. RAILWAY.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> Real "Nine Hours' Movement"—to Brighton and back for +Half-a-Crown.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page037" id="page037"></a>[pg 37]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> <a href="images/037.png"><img width="100%" src="images/037.png" alt="" /></a> +<h3>TOO MUCH PRESSURE.</h3> + +<p><span class="smcap">Bob the Stoker.</span> "LOR' BLESS YOU, M'NSEER! THAT'S THE WAY <i>WE</i> 'RAISE THE WIND;'—SIMPLEST +THING IN THE WORLD!"</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">M. Thiers.</span> "HE, MON AMI! PRENEZ GARDE! HE SHALL 'BLOW UP' ONE DAY!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page039" id="page039"></a>[pg 39]</span></p> + +<h2>FRESH. NOT TIGHT.</h2> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:25%;"> <a href="images/039.png"><img width="100%" src="images/039.png" alt="T" /></a> +</div> + +<p><span class="smcap">here</span> is, or was, in this +town a Public-house, +wherein the administration +of justice was, and may +still be, wont to be nightly +burlesqued by certain +buffoons under the name +of a Judge and Jury Club. +Let us hope that this was +the only Court of Law +which could possibly have +been in the eye of the +<span class="smcap">Attorney-general</span> when, +in the course of his concise +oration delivered on behalf +of the Infant against the +Claimant, he spoke, with +reference to the latter, as +follows:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"Besides, such is the pleasantry—I +would not say the +profit—of our English law, +that if he fails in this case he +may go at it again with fresh +witnesses, let us hope with +fresh counsel—(<i>laughter</i>)—at least with a fresh jury—I say nothing of a +fresh judge. (<i>Continued laughter.</i>)" +</blockquote> + +<p>The members of the Temperance League, and the United Kingdom +Alliance must surely have been shocked, as many as those who +read and duly considered the foregoing words, by the idea which +they suggest of a generally Fresh Court of Common Pleas. This +horrid image was enough to have unfixed their hair and made their +excited hearts knock at their ribs beyond the use of nature. Sobriety +is so specially characteristic of the Ermine that "sober as a Judge" +is an adage; not, indeed, because Judges are supposed not to +drink, but to be able to drink any quantity. Irreproachable with +laxity in the discharge of their high functions, British Judges are +at all times incapable of getting tight.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>EVENINGS FROM HOME.</h2> + +<p><i><span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, with <span class="smcap">Masters Sandford</span> and <span class="smcap">Merton</span>, at the <span class="smcap">Queen's +Theatre</span>, to see "The Last Days of Pompeii."</i></p> + +<p><i>Tommy.</i> Pray, Sir, what and where was Pompeii?</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> It was, my dear <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, a Roman municipality, +full of eligible villas, pleasantly situated in the immediate neighbourhood +of Mount Vesuvius, and within easy reach of the sea. It +was "a place to spend a happy day," and "there and back" from +Naples formed one of the chief excursions, at a very moderate rate, +for the middle classes of Neapolis.</p> + +<p>They had just commenced this instructive and entertaining conversation, +when the curtain rising discovered to their eager eyes as +artistic and effective a scene (with the exception of stationary +painted groups, whose fixed attitude strangely contrasted with the +movement of the actors in front of them) as it had hitherto been +their lot to behold.</p> + +<p>As the play went on, <span class="smcap">Harry</span> requested permission of <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> +to ask a question.</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> Did you not tell us, Sir, that the "e" in Pompeii was long?</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> Indeed, <span class="smcap">Harry</span>, I did.</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> And did you not also tell us that one of the purposes of a +theatrical exhibition, such as this is, is the advancement of education +among all sorts and conditions of people?</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> You are again correct, and truly I begin to perceive +the drift of your remark. Therefore let me tell you that had any +Eton boy said Pompĕii, instead of Pompēii, he would speedily have +been taught the force of an <i>argumentum</i> addressed, as was one of +<span class="smcap">Horace's</span> Odes, <i>ad puerum</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> Surely too, Sir, a diphthong is long; so that the name +<i>Apœcides</i> should not be rendered Appy-cides, as if the name were +an unaspirated pronunciation of <i>H</i>appy Cides.</p> + +<p>To this <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> replied that doubtless these honest folks had +cogent reasons for their mode of pronunciation, with which he +advised <span class="smcap">Harry</span> to become acquainted, before taking upon himself +to pronounce an unmitigated condemnation of them.</p> + +<p>"You will now perceive, <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>," said <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, during the +performance of the Third Scene of the First Act, "that the crafty +<i>Arbaces</i> is anxious to entice the sentimental young gentleman, <i>Appy +Cides</i>, to partake of the repast with him."</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> But, Sir, surely the young man's objection to accept the +invitation of the Egyptian, must arise from a sense of politeness on +his part, which, as there is nothing edible on the table, I fancy, +except one plate of fruit, will not permit him to deprive <i>Arbaces</i> of +even a portion of a dessert that has, evidently, been only ordered +for one.</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> Indeed, <span class="smcap">Harry</span>, I think you are right, and had +<i>Arbaces</i> thought of it, I am certain he would willingly have extended +his hospitality to a bag of nuts or some cakes of gingerbread. +But you must remember that <i>Appy Cides</i>, or, as he seems to me, +<i>Un-'appy Cides</i>, is only the pupil of <i>Arbaces</i>, and does not appear +at his tutor's table until dessert-time.</p> + +<p><i>Tommy.</i> If I were there I would go and eat everything, and then +I would dance with one of the young ladies.</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> I am sorry, <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, that you are of that mind; and +at another time—for I perceive that the good people in the pit, by +their repeated cries of hush, and by the direction of their attention +towards us, wish rather to hear the dialogue on the stage than my +discourse, which is, after all, of a personal and private character—at +another time, I was about to say, I will read to you an instructive +story on greediness, entitled <i>Chares and the Convulsive Tailor</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Tommy</span> looked on at the piece very sulkily for some time, being, +indeed, intent upon the antique cups and goblets and upon the +plate of luscious fruit which he had already noticed. But on seeing +that neither <i>Arbaces</i> nor the sentimental young gentleman partook +of anything that was provided for them, he began to have high +opinion of their breeding, and before the scene was finished was +heartily sorry for his error, and applauded all he saw and heard +with increasing rapture and delight.</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> You may, indeed, evince your gratitude to these +worthy people, since they have done all in their power to entertain +and instruct us. And, indeed, where all is done so vastly well, I +know not what to commend most, whether the sonorous voice and +dignified scoundrelism of that twice-crushed Priest of Isis, the +iniquitous and unprincipled <i>Arbaces</i>, played by the remarkably +upright and conscientious actor, <span class="smcap">Mr. Ryder</span>; or whether the +gentle pleadings of the blind <i>Nydia</i>—<span class="smcap">Miss Hodson</span> is the young +lady's name, my dear <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, and I have no doubt she saw and +appreciated your boyish enthusiasm—or the bearing of <span class="smcap">Mr. Rignold</span> +throughout a remarkably difficult and most trying part. But, +<span class="smcap">Harry</span>, what is your opinion?</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> Why, Sir, I am very little judge of these matters, but I +protest that I feel mightily indebted to those clever gentlemen, +<span class="smcap">Masters Gordon</span> and <span class="smcap">Harford</span> (I had well-nigh slipt into the +error of saying <span class="smcap">Masters Merton</span> and <span class="smcap">Sandford</span>) for the scenery +which has so admirably served to illustrate this play. I am sorry +that <i>Appy Cides</i> was killed, as, having become a Christian, there +would, I am sure, have been every opportunity open to him as an +estimable young curate of evangelical proclivities.</p> + +<p><i>Tommy</i> (<i>during the cleverly arranged Amphitheatre Scene, +Act IV.</i>) I am glad to see, Sir, that in this scene where we have so +much to admire, the tumblers——</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> These, my dear <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, represent the gladiators. +And you must remember that on the stage, where every combat has +to be carefully arranged both as to the number and fashion of the +blows given and received, and as to who shall be, and who shall not +be the conqueror, the contest of two determined champions, or +rather of two champions whose course has been previously determined, +cannot fail to be of a most thrilling and exciting character.</p> + +<p><i>Tommy.</i> O, Sir! they have given orders to let the Lion loose. +O, Sir! the Lion is coming!</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> I do not believe that all these fine gentlemen and ladies +would remain so still if there were, indeed, a Lion approaching.</p> + +<p><i>Mr. Barlow.</i> The Lion, my dear <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, is a native of both India +and Africa. When they are hungry, they kill every animal they +meet, and will even devour little boys——</p> + +<p>Here poor <span class="smcap">Tommy's</span> trepidation was increased to such an extent +that he would have quitted his seat and the theatre, but for the +sudden entry of the traitor <i>Calenus</i>, whose charge of murder brought +against his master, the wily <i>Arbaces</i>, instantly distracted everyone's +thoughts from the coming of the expected monster.</p> + +<p>Both <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span> and <span class="smcap">Harry</span> were loud in their praises of the +dramatist who had contrived to arouse in the breasts of the spectators +such emotions of fear, by the absence of the Lion, as could +scarcely have been equalled by his formidable presence.</p> + +<p>"Indeed," said <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, "on reflection, I am led to consider +the chiefest part in this piece to be the Lion's share in it. He is +spoken of at the commencement of the play, he is often alluded to +throughout, and the bare mention of his name sensibly electrifies +the spectators on and off the stage. From the very first we are +incited to expect his appearance. He has not to roar to make himself +dreaded. He has not even to be present, either on or off, the +scene.</p> + +<p><i>Harry.</i> This device is, in my humble judgement, worthy of high +commendation in the play-wright, who has thus evinced his reverence +for the words of the immortal <span class="smcap">William</span>, and whose plan is +in cordial agreement with <i>Bottom's</i> opinion on this very matter, +<span class="pagenum"><a name="page040" id="page040"></a>[pg 40]</span> +which, my dear <span class="smcap">Tommy</span>, as you are as yet unacquainted with the +works of <span class="smcap">Shakspeare</span>, I will repeat to you. "<i>Masters</i>," says +<i>Bottom</i>, "<i>You ought to consider with yourselves, to bring in a lion +among ladies is a most dreadful thing, for there is not a more fearful +wild fowl than your lion, living</i>."</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Tommy</span> was so forcibly struck by this adroit application of a famous +passage from the plays of <span class="smcap">Shakspeare</span>, that he determined, on the +first opportunity to read all these dramas through from beginning to +end. And having already set himself to the study of astronomy and +mechanics, solely in order to make himself as proficient in the +art of applicable illustrations as was his friend <span class="smcap">Harry Merton</span>, +<span class="smcap">Tommy</span> now found that he had at least one hour of the day fully +occupied.</p> + +<p>On their return from the theatre <span class="smcap">Mr. Barlow</span>, ever anxious for +the improvement of both his young friends, commenced reading +to them the story of <i>The Magistrate and the Elephant</i>; but, seeing +that both his young friends were fast asleep in their chairs, he lit +his chamber-candle and retired for the night.</p> + +<p>On entering his room somewhat suddenly, a pair of boots, +artfully placed so as to rest on the door, which had been standing +ajar, descended on his head; and the next instant, on his +taking one step forward, he came in contact with a stout string, so +skilfully fastened, as not only to throw him sharply on the floor, but, +being cunningly connected with the fire-irons and the washing-stand, +it brought down these articles also with a great crash and +much confusion. Before he could arise from his painful position, +<span class="smcap">Tommy</span> and <span class="smcap">Harry</span> had rushed up-stairs to render to their revered +preceptor what assistance was in their power. Being questioned as +to the hand they had had in this strange affair, <span class="smcap">Master Tommy</span>, +with becoming modesty, acknowledged that it was he who had +devised the scheme. "And," said he, "I protest I think it is no +inadequate representation of what must have been the consequence +in several houses during the Eruption of Mount Vesuvius in the +<i>Last Days of Pompeii</i>."</p> + +<p>So saying, both the boys withdrew themselves rapidly from their +beloved tutor's apartment, and locked themselves into their own +rooms. Soon after this, they were all in a sound slumber, which +lasted until a late hour on the following morning.</p> + +<hr /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> <a href="images/040.png"><img width="100%" src="images/040.png" alt="" /></a> +<h3>A QUESTION FOR THE SHIRES.</h3> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Now, Dear, which do you Prefer for the 'Tops'?—the Deeper Shade, or very Palest Pink?</span>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>VINDICTIVE TEUTONS.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">There</span> is a good deal of talk in France about revenge to be taken +one of these days upon the Germans for having repelled and beaten +their invaders. In the meanwhile, according to the <i>Post</i>, those +barbarous Germans are trying to revenge themselves, in their heavy +way, on the enemies who have been twitting them with stealing +clocks and watches, by an—</p> + +<blockquote> +"<span class="smcap">Important Restoration of Specie.</span>—<i>The Courier de Meurthe et +Moselle</i> announces that the six millions of francs which had fallen into the +hands of the German troops after the capitulation of Strasburg, and belonging +to the Bank of France, are about to be restored to that establishment through +its branch bank at Nancy." +</blockquote> + +<p>This, of course, is a practical sarcasm at the expense of a nation +represented by some of its orators and statesmen as having been +aggrieved by being forced to restore pictures and works of Art which +the First <span class="smcap">Napoleon</span> and his gangs in uniform had pillaged from +their neighbours. It is obviously meant to suggest an odious comparison +between those who make restitution of even lawful plunder +in hard cash, and those others who grumble because of having been +compelled to replace Art-treasures actually stolen, and that in some +cases from friends. This is clumsy German satire to be sure, but it +tumbles down pretty heavily for all that on the heads of them that +shouted "À Berlin!"</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Sporting News.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> lovers of manly British sports will be glad to know that +there is a chance of seeing another good fight, or so, before the law +is altered. A rattling mill is to come off in the north of the West +Riding. <span class="smcap">Powell</span>, the well-known Cambridge Slogger, is matched +against <span class="smcap">Holden</span>, of the above parts, who has not fought in public, +but is known in the Chapel districts as a determined cove. As this +will be nearly the last of the real old English fights, much interest is +excited. The white chokers are with <span class="smcap">Powell</span>, and <span class="smcap">Holden</span> is +backed by the humbler humboxes. Both men will do all they know, +and a clinking good contest may be expected.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page041" id="page041"></a>[pg 41]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:60%;"> <a href="images/041.png"><img width="100%" src="images/041.png" alt="" /></a> +<p>"CONSERVATION OF TISSUE."</p> + +<p><i>Uncle.</i> "<span class="smcap">Well, Tommy, you See I'm Back; are you Ready? What +have I to Pay for, Miss?</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Miss.</i> "<span class="smcap">Three Buns, Four Sponge Cakes, Two Sandwiches, One Jelly, +Five Tarts, and</span>—"</p> + +<p><i>Uncle.</i> "<span class="smcap">Good Gracious, Boy! Are you not Ill?</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Tommy.</i> "<span class="smcap">No, Uncle; but I'm Thirsty.</span>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>NEGATIVE KNOWLEDGE.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">We</span> never knew a cabman with an eyeglass, or a +chimneysweep with spectacles.</p> + +<p>We never knew a lady buy a bargain at a shop sale, +and not afterwards regret it.</p> + +<p>We never knew a man propose the toast of the evening, +without his wishing that it had not been placed in +abler hands.</p> + +<p>We never knew a waiter in a hurry, at a chop-house, +who did not say that he was "Coming, Sir!" when +really he was going.</p> + +<p>We never lost a game to a professional at billiards, +without hearing him assign his triumph chiefly to his +flukes.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>TO THE STATE COACHMAN.</h2> + +<h3>(<i>Suggested by a Passage in the new Q. R.</i>)</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>"<span class="smcap">Canning</span> did not know that tadpoles</p> +<p class="i2">Turn to frogs." Each fool explodes:</p> +<p>But that Queller of the Yelpers</p> +<p class="i2">Knew that patriots turn to toads.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="smcap">Gladstone</span> goes in for omniscience;</p> +<p class="i2">Does the team obey the bit</p> +<p>As when <span class="smcap">Pam's</span> whip stung with banter,</p> +<p class="i2">Or when <span class="smcap">Canning's</span> cut with wit?</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="smcap">William</span>! <i>Punch</i>, who likes you, counsels—</p> +<p class="i2">Mix some humour with your zeal,</p> +<p>Making humbugs think is hopeless:</p> +<p class="i2">Be content to make them <i>feel</i>.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>No Misnomer.</h2> + +<p>A <span class="smcap">Correspondent</span> of the <i>Times</i>, whose note is +headed "Civil Service Grammar," writes a remonstrance +because he has seen a Government Cart going about +inscribed "Her Majesty's Stationary Office." He is +evidently under a misconception as to what office is +meant, for what man who reflects on the progress of +the new Law Courts, the new National Gallery, the new +Natural History Museum, the Wellington Monument, +&c., can doubt for a moment that "Her Majesty's Stationary +Office" is the Office of Works and Public +buildings?</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>IN ANGELÆ HONOREM.</h2> + +<blockquote> +"A Meeting was held in the Hall of Columbia Market, on Monday evening, +<span class="smcap">Sir Thomas Dakin</span> in the Chair, to consider what testimonial of public +respect and gratitude should be offered to <span class="smcap">Baroness Burdett Coutts</span>."—<i>Daily +News.</i> +</blockquote> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="smcap">Sweet</span> names there are that carry sweet natures in their sound;</p> +<p>Whose ring, like hallowed bells of old, seems to shed blessing round:</p> +<p>Such a name of good omen, <span class="smcap">Florence Nightingale</span>, is thine;</p> +<p>And hers, our <span class="smcap">Angela's</span>, for all in want and woe that pine.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The <span class="smcap">Queen</span> has made her noble; but ere that rank was given,</p> +<p>She had donned robe and coronet of the peerage made in Heaven:</p> +<p>Baptised in purer honour than from earthly fountain flows,</p> +<p>Raised to a prouder Upper House than our proud island knows.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The loftiest of that peerage are of lowliest mood and will;</p> +<p>And this their proudest lordship, Love's service to fulfil:</p> +<p>Chief Stewards and High Almoners of the goods Heaven bestows—</p> +<p>'Tis theirs to see that Charity in Wisdom's channels flows.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>For e'en that stream, ill-guided, can poison goodly ground—</p> +<p>For health, sow fever broadcast, for blessing, blight, around:</p> +<p>'Tis not enough its waters to loose with lib'ral mind;</p> +<p>If Reason lends not eyes to Love, Love strays—for he is blind.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>This <i>she</i> has known, our <span class="smcap">Angela</span>, for whom men ask, e'en now,</p> +<p>"Fit tribute of our gratitude where shall we pay, and how?"</p> +<p>If blessings clothed in substance, prayers made palpable, could be,</p> +<p>When had Kaiser, King, or Conqueror, such monument as she?</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>But what can gold, or silver, or bronze, or marble, pay</p> +<p>Of the unsummed debt of gratitude owed her this many a day?</p> +<p>What record, parchment-blazoned, closed in golden casket rare,</p> +<p>Can with her love, in England's heart, for preciousness compare?</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>If we needs must find her symbol, then carve and set on high</p> +<p>A heavy-laden camel going through the needle's eye;</p> +<p>Gold-burdened, by a gentle yet firm hand wisely driven,—</p> +<p>Our <span class="smcap">Angela's</span>, that on it rides, riches and all, to Heaven!</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Or if a painted record be by the occasion claimed,</p> +<p>Paint up Bethesda's Pool, and round, the sick, the halt, and maimed,</p> +<p>Waiting until our <span class="smcap">Angela</span> through Earth's afflicted go</p> +<p>To stir wealth's healing waters, that await her hand to flow.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>PIG-AND-BARGAIN-DRIVING.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">The</span> <i>Eastern Morning News</i>—what a pretty name—why not the +<i>Dawn</i>?—hath a prosaic item: this:—</p> + +<blockquote> +<span class="smcap">Wanted</span>, a GROOM and Coachman, and to assist the Gardener. +Wages, 18s. per week to commence with, to be advanced 1s. per year +for every year he remains. Must understand horses and pigs, and be able to +drive one, or a pair. +</blockquote> + +<p>We do not think the wages too high. A celebrated Oxford Don, +who could make Greek verses as fast as mill-wheels strike, yet who +was not so ready with ordinary English, beheld, from the top of a +coach, a drover striving to guide some pigs along the road. Wishing +to be conversational, the Don observed to his neighbour, "A difficult +Animal to drive is a Pig—one man—a good many—very." Here, +observe, were the materials for a pleasing remark, but they needed +arrangement. He was right, however. Pigs are difficult to drive, +and the Yorkshire advertiser who wants a man able to drive one +pig, or a pair, is right in offering him the above noble rise in wage. +Correspondents will abstain from vulgar suggestions about a pig and +a "hog"—we don't understand them.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page042" id="page042"></a>[pg 42]</span></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> <a href="images/042.png"> <img width="100%" src="images/042.png" alt="" /></a> +<h3>"HERE BE TRUTHS."</h3> + +<p><i>Mistress.</i> "<span class="smcap">Bring some more Bread, Martha?</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Maid.</i> "<span class="smcap">There's nane, Mem!</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Mistress.</i> "<span class="smcap">O, Nonsense! I saw a Loaf in the Pantry.</span>"</p> + +<p><i>Maid.</i> "<span class="smcap">Did ye, Mem? I'm thinking it's Time ye were getting Specs, then, for it's a Cheese!</span>"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>"YOUR BONNET TO ITS RIGHT USE."</h2> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>"<span class="smcap">Let</span> me use my <i>biretta</i>,"</p> +<p class="i2">Says <span class="smcap">Cardinal Cullen</span></p> +<p>"To fan Ireland's school-lamp</p> +<p class="i2">That burns smoky and sullen."</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>"No," says England, "your motive</p> +<p class="i2">'Twere cruel to doubt,—</p> +<p>But what if your rev'renc</p> +<p class="i2">Should put the lamp out?"</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>LONDON GOLD DIGGINGS.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">Dear</span> Old England! well may one exclaim, on reading in the +<i>Daily News</i> a statement such as this:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"<span class="smcap">Value of Land in Lombard Street.</span>—A piece of land adjoining the +Lombard Exchange, in Lombard Street, has been sold for £9000, or about +£19 4s. 6d. per foot super." +</blockquote> + +<p>It used to be affirmed that London streets were paved with gold, +and, by the side of the above, the story hardly seems beyond one's +power of credulity. Land worth nineteen pounds per foot must be +wellnigh as good as gold to its fortunate possessor, and the man who +owned an acre of it would hardly need to emigrate to any other +diggings. Assuredly, to any <i>Fortunatus</i> who owns much land in +Lombard Street, London may be looked on as the true Tom Tiddler's +Ground.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>The New Judge.</h2> + +<p><i>Mr. Punch</i> hears that <span class="smcap">Lord Chief Justice Cockburn</span> (one of +our most accomplished Latin writers) intimated to the <span class="smcap">Chancellor</span> +that the appointment of the new Judge for the Queen's Bench was +a <i>Sine Quainon</i>.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>WANTED—SIMPLICITY.</h2> + +<p>Mr. Punch</p> + +<p>Is the English language a thing to be ashamed of? I put +the question, because in a weekly literary journal, printed and published +in London in the mother tongue, I have just read, not without +some rubbing of eyes and much mental bewilderment, the following +singular announcement:—</p> + +<blockquote> +"<span class="smcap">Institution of Civil Engineers.</span>—The <span class="smcap">Emperor of Brésil</span> was +elected an Honorary Member." +</blockquote> + +<p>I have never heard that Brazil has become a French possession, +and I am positive that the Institution of Civil Engineers is not in +Paris, but in Great George Street, Westminster. Why, then, Brésil? +Crack this Brazil-nut for</p> + +<p class="author">Yours, unaffectedly,</p> + +<p class="author"><span class="smcap">Jno. Smith</span>.</p> + +<p>P.S.—Can fish talk? I ask this second question, after seeing that +another periodical publication contains an article with the heading, +"Perch Prattle."</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>We Can't See It.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">Of</span> all the odd kinds of consolation under affliction, the last +suggestion seems to <i>Mr. Punch</i> the oddest. We are mourning the +demise of the no-horned Infant Hippopotamus in the Regent's Park, +and we are told to be cheerful, for a two-horned Infant Rhinoceros +has gone to Madrid. The doctrine of compensations was never +pushed much further, even in a Scotch sermon.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Platonic Politics.</h2> + +<p>Plato gives the best reason why Woman's Rights should be conceded, +and Women be admitted to power. Listen, Dears, "Rulers +should have Personal Beauty." Kiss ums own old <i>Punch</i>.</p> + +<hr /> + +<blockquote> +Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. 24, Holford square, in the Parish of St. James, Clerkenwell, in the County of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Evans, & Co., Lombard +Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and Published by him at No. 65, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, City of London.—<span class="smcap">Saturday</span>, January 27, 1872. +</blockquote> + +<hr /> + +<h2>Transcriber's Notes</h2> + +<p>Throughout the dialogues, there were words used to mimic accents of +the speakers. Those words were retained as-is.</p> + +<p>The illustrations have been moved so that they do not break up +paragraphs and so that they are next the text they illustrate.</p> + +<p>Errors in punctuations and inconsistent hyphenation were not corrected.</p> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. +62, Jan 27, 1872, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON *** + +***** This file should be named 38040-h.htm or 38040-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/8/0/4/38040/ + +Produced by Malcolm Farmer, Ernest Schaal, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> diff --git a/38040-h/images/033.png b/38040-h/images/033.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1cdd837 --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/033.png diff --git a/38040-h/images/034.png b/38040-h/images/034.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..21bbcd9 --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/034.png diff --git a/38040-h/images/035.png b/38040-h/images/035.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..be15970 --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/035.png diff --git a/38040-h/images/036.png b/38040-h/images/036.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cadee15 --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/036.png diff --git a/38040-h/images/037.png b/38040-h/images/037.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..dc2bea4 --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/037.png diff --git a/38040-h/images/039.png b/38040-h/images/039.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..59d8f8f --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/039.png diff --git a/38040-h/images/040.png b/38040-h/images/040.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..53cabd2 --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/040.png diff --git a/38040-h/images/041.png b/38040-h/images/041.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a3e2869 --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/041.png diff --git a/38040-h/images/042.png b/38040-h/images/042.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..32391e7 --- /dev/null +++ b/38040-h/images/042.png |
