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diff --git a/37970-h/37970-h.htm b/37970-h/37970-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d88ef2c --- /dev/null +++ b/37970-h/37970-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,16074 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" +"http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en" xml:lang="en"> + <head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> +<title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Contemporary One-act Plays, by Various. +</title> +<style type="text/css"> + p {margin-top:.2em;text-align:justify;margin-bottom:.2em;text-indent:2%;} + +.c {text-align:center;text-indent:0%;} + +.cb {text-align:center;text-indent:0%;font-weight:bold;} + +.copyr {margin:8% 30% 8% 30%;} + +.hang {text-indent:-2%;margin-left:2%;} + +.hangg {text-indent:-4.75%;margin-left:8%;} + +.nind {text-indent:0%;} + +.r {text-align:right;margin-right: 5%;} + +small {font-size: 70%;} + + h1,h3,h4 {text-align:center;clear:both;} + + h2 {margin:8% auto 2% auto;text-align:center;clear:both;} + + hr {width:90%;margin:2em auto 2em auto;clear:both;color:black;} + + hr.full {width: 50%;margin:5% auto 5% auto;border:4px double gray;} + + table {margin-left:auto;margin-right:auto;border:none;text-align:left;} + + body{margin-left:2%;margin-right:2%;background:#fdfdfd;color:black;font-family:"Times New Roman", serif;font-size:medium;} + +a:link {background-color:#ffffff;color:blue;text-decoration:none;} + + link {background-color:#ffffff;color:blue;text-decoration:none;} + +a:visited {background-color:#ffffff;color:purple;text-decoration:none;} + +a:hover {background-color:#ffffff;color:#FF0000;text-decoration:underline;} + +.smcap {font-variant:small-caps;font-size:95%;} + + img {border:none;} + +.blockquot {margin:1% auto 1% 10%;} + +.figcenter {margin:3% auto 3% auto;text-align:center;text-indent:0%;} + +.footnotes {border:dotted 2px gray;margin-top:15%;clear:both;} + +.footnote {width:95%;margin:auto 3% 1% auto;font-size:0.9em;position:relative;} + +.label {position:relative;left:-.5em;top:0;text-align:left;font-size:.8em;} + +.fnanchor {vertical-align:30%;font-size:.8em;} +</style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Contemporary One-Act Plays, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Contemporary One-Act Plays + +Compiler: B. Roland Lewis + +Author: Sir James M. Barrie + George Middleton + Althea Thurston + Percy Mackaye + Lady Augusta Gregor + Eugene Pillot + Anton Tchekov + Bosworth Crocker + Alfred Kreymborg + Paul Greene + Arthur Hopkins + Paul Hervieu + Jeannette Marks + Oscar M. Wolff + David Pinski + Beulah Bornstead + Hermann Sudermann + August Strindberg + +Release Date: November 10, 2011 [EBook #37970] +[Last updated: January 23, 2012] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CONTEMPORARY ONE-ACT PLAYS *** + + + + +Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was +produced from scanned images of public domain material +from the Google Print project.) + + + + + + +</pre> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<p class="cb">CONTEMPORARY ONE-ACT PLAYS</p> + +<p class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="345" height="550" alt="image of the book's cover" title="" /> +</p> + +<h1> +CONTEMPORARY<br /> +ONE-ACT PLAYS</h1> + +<p class="cb">WITH OUTLINE STUDY OF THE<br /> +ONE-ACT PLAY AND BIBLIOGRAPHIES</p> + +<p class="cb"><br /> +<br /> +<br />BY<br /> +B. ROLAND LEWIS<br /> +<small>Professor and Head of the Department of English in the University of Utah;<br /> +Author of "The Technique of the One-Act Play"</small><br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS<br /> +NEW YORK <span style="margin-left: 2em;">CHICAGO</span> <span style="margin-left: 2em;">BOSTON</span><br /> +</p> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p class="c"><small>C<small>OPYRIGHT</small>, 1922, by<br /> +CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS<br /> +———<br /> +Printed in the United States of America<br /> +———</small></p> + +<p class="nind"><small>The plays in this book are fully protected by copyright and the +professional and amateur stage rights are reserved by the authors. +Applications for their use should be made to the respective authors or +publishers, as designated</small></p> +</div> + +<p class="c"> TO<br /> + THE MEN AND WOMEN<br /> +WHO SO KINDLY HAVE PERMITTED ME TO<br /> + REPRINT THESE ONE-ACT PLAYS</p> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /> +</p> + +<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE"></a>PREFACE</h2> + +<p>This collection of one-act plays appears because of an increasingly +large demand for such a volume. The plays have been selected and the +Introduction prepared to meet the need of the student or teacher who +desires to acquaint himself with the one-act play as a specific dramatic +form.</p> + +<p>The plays included have been selected with this need in mind. +Accordingly, emphasis has been placed upon the wholesome and uplifting +rather than upon the sordid and the ultra-realistic. The unduly +sentimental, the strikingly melodramatic, and the play of questionable +moral problems, has been consciously avoided. Comedies, tragedies, +farces, and melodramas have been included; but the chief concern has +been that each play should be good, dramatic art.</p> + +<p>The <i>Dramatic Analysis and Construction of the One-Act Play</i>, which +appears in the Introduction, also has been prepared for the student or +teacher. This outline-analysis and the plays in this volume are +sufficient material, if carefully studied, for an understanding and +appreciation of the one-act play.</p> + +<p class="r">B. R<small>OLAND</small> L<small>EWIS</small>. +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="CONTENTS"> + +<tr><th colspan="3" align="center"><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a><big>CONTENTS</big></th></tr> + +<tr><td colspan="3" align="right"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Introduction</span></td><td> </td><td align="right"><a href="#page_003">3</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td colspan="3" align="center">LIST OF PLAYS</td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Twelve-Pound Look</span></td><td> <i>Sir James M. Barrie</i> </td><td align="right"><a href="#page_017">17</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Tradition</span></td><td> <i>George Middleton</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_043">43</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Exchange</span></td><td> <i>Althea Thurston</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_061">61</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Sam Average</span></td><td> <i>Percy Mackaye</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_085">85</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Hyacinth Halvey</span></td><td> <i>Lady Augusta Gregory</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_103">103</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Gazing Globe</span></td><td> <i>Eugene Pillot</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_139">139</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Boor</span></td><td> <i>Anton Tchekov</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_155">155</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Last Straw</span></td><td> <i>Bosworth Crocker</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_175">175</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Manikin and Minikin</span></td><td> <i>Alfred Kreymborg</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_197">197</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">White Dresses</span></td><td> <i>Paul Greene</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_215">215</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Moonshine</span></td><td> <i>Arthur Hopkins</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_239">239</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Modesty</span></td><td> <i>Paul Hervieu</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_255">255</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Deacon's Hat</span></td><td> <i>Jeannette Marks</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_273">273</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Where but in America</span></td><td> <i>Oscar M. Wolff</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_301">301</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">A Dollar</span></td><td> <i>David Pinski</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_321">321</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Diabolical Circle</span></td><td> <i>Beulah Bornstead</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_343">343</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Far-Away Princess</span></td><td> <i>Hermann Sudermann</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_365">365</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">The Stronger</span></td><td> <i>August Strindberg</i></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_393">393</a></td></tr> + +</table> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="BIBLIOGRAPHIES"> + +<tr><th colspan="2" align="center"><a name="BIBLIOGRAPHIES" id="BIBLIOGRAPHIES"></a><big>BIBLIOGRAPHIES</big></th></tr> + +<tr><td colspan="2" align="right"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Collections of One-Act Plays</span></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_405">405</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Lists of One-Act Plays</span></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_406">406</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Bibliography of Reference on the One-Act Play</span> </td><td align="right"><a href="#page_408">408</a></td></tr> + +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Bibliography on How to Produce Plays</span></td><td align="right"><a href="#page_409">409</a></td></tr> +</table> +<p><a name="page_001" id="page_001"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_002" id="page_002"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_003" id="page_003"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /> +</p> + +<h1>CONTEMPORARY ONE-ACT PLAYS</h1> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /> +</p> + +<h2><a name="INTRODUCTION" id="INTRODUCTION"></a>INTRODUCTION<br /> +<br /><small>THE ONE-ACT PLAY AS A SPECIFIC DRAMATIC TYPE</small></h2> + +<p>The one-act play is with us and is asking for consideration. It is +challenging our attention whether we will or no. In both Europe and +America it is one of the conspicuous factors in present-day dramatic +activity. Theatre managers, stage designers, actors, playwrights, and +professors in universities recognize its presence as a vital force. +Professional theatre folk and amateurs especially are devoting zestful +energy both to the writing and to the producing of this shorter form of +drama.</p> + +<p>The one-act play is claiming recognition as a specific dramatic type. It +may be said that, as an art form, it has achieved that distinction. The +short story, as every one knows, was once an embryo and an experiment; +but few nowadays would care to hold that it has not developed into a +specific and worthy literary form. This shorter form of prose fiction +was once apologetic, and that not so many years ago; but it has come +into its own and now is recognized as a distinct type of prose +narrative. The one-act play, like the short story, also has come into +its own. No longer is it wholly an experiment. Indeed, it is succeeding +in high places. The one-act play is taking its place among the +significant types of dramatic and literary expression.</p> + +<p>Artistically and technically considered, the one-act play is quite as +much a distinctive dramatic problem as the longer play. In writing +either, the playwright aims so to handle his material that he will get +his central intent to his audience and will provoke their interest and +emotional response thereto. Both aim<a name="page_004" id="page_004"></a> at a singleness of impression and +dramatic effect; both aim to be a high order of art. Yet since the one +is shorter and more condensed, it follows that the dramaturgy of the one +is somewhat different from that of the other, just as the technic of the +cameo is different from the technic of the full-sized statue. The +one-act play must, as it were, be presented at a "single setting": it +must start quickly at the beginning with certain definite dramatic +elements and pass rapidly and effectively to a crucial movement without +halt or digression. A careful analysis of any one of the plays in this +volume, like Anton Tchekov's <i>The Boor</i>, or like Oscar M. Wolff's <i>Where +But in America</i>, will reveal this fact. The shorter form of drama, like +the short story, has a technical method characteristically its own.</p> + +<p>It is a truth that the one-act play is well made or it is nothing at +all. A careful analysis of Sir James M. Barrie's <i>The Twelve-Pound +Look</i>, Paul Hervieu's <i>Modesty</i>, Althea Thurston's <i>The Exchange</i>, will +reveal that these representative one-act plays are well made and are +real bits of dramatic art. A good one-act play is not a mere cheap +mechanical <i>tour de force</i>; mechanics and artistry it has, of course, +but it is also a high order of art product. A delicately finished cameo +is quite as much a work of art as is the larger statue; both have +mechanics and design in their structure, but those of the cameo are more +deft and more highly specialized than those of the statue, because the +work of the former is done under far more restricted conditions. The +one-act play at its best is cunningly wrought.</p> + +<p>Naturally, the material of the one-act play is a bit episodical. It +deals with but a single situation. A study of the plays in this volume +will reveal that no whole life's story can be treated adequately in the +short play, and that no complexity of plot can be employed. Unlike the +longer play, the shorter form of drama shows not the whole man—except +by passing hint—but a significant moment or experience, a significant +character-trait. However vividly this chosen moment may be +interpreted—and<a name="page_005" id="page_005"></a> the one-act play must be vivid—much will still be +left to the imagination. It is the aim of the one-act form to trace the +causal relations of but <i>one</i> circumstance so that the circumstance may +be intensified. The writer of the one-act play deliberately isolates so +that he may throw the strong flashlight more searchingly on some one +significant event, on some fundamental element of character, on some +moving emotion. He presents in a vigorous, compressed, and suggestive +way a simplification and idealization of a particular part or aspect of +life. Often he opens but a momentary little vista of life, but it is so +clear-cut and so significant that a whole life is often revealed +thereby.</p> + +<p>The student must not think that because the one-act play deals with but +one crisis or but one simplified situation, it is therefore weak and +inconsequential. On the contrary, since only one event or situation can +be emphasized, it follows that the writer is obliged to choose the one +determining crisis which makes or mars the supreme struggle of a soul, +the one great change or turning-point or end of a life history. Often +such moments are the really vital material for drama; nothing affords so +much opportunity for striking analysis, for emotional stress, for the +suggestion of a whole character sketched in the act of meeting its test.</p> + +<p>The one-act play is a vital literary product. To segregate a bit of +significant experience and to present a finished picture of its aspects +and effects; to dissect a motive so searchingly and skilfully that its +very roots are laid bare; to detach a single figure from a dramatic +sequence and portray the essence of its character; to bring a series of +actions into the clear light of day in a sudden and brief human crisis; +to tell a significant story briefly and with suggestion; to portray the +humor of a person or an incident, or in a trice to reveal the touch of +tragedy resting like the finger of fate on an experience or on a +character—these are some of the possibilities of the one-act play when +bandied by a master dramatist.<a name="page_006" id="page_006"></a></p> + +<h3>THE PROPER APPROACH TO THE STUDY OF THE ONE-ACT PLAY</h3> + +<p>To read a one-act play merely to get its story is not in itself an +exercise of any extraordinary value. This sort of approach to any form +of literature does not require much appreciation of literary art nor +much intelligence. Almost any normal-minded person can read a play for +its story with but little expenditure of mental effort. Proper +appreciation of a one-act play requires more than a casual reading whose +chief aim is no more than getting the plot.</p> + +<p>If the shorter form of drama is to be appreciated properly as a real +literary form, it must be approached from the point of view of its +artistry and technic. This means that the student should understand its +organic construction and technic, just as he should understand the +organic construction and technic of a short story, a ballad, or a +perfect sonnet, if he is to appreciate them properly.</p> + +<p>The student should know <i>what</i> the dramatist intends to get across the +footlights to his audience, and should be able to detect <i>how</i> he +accomplishes the desired result.</p> + +<p>It must not be thought that the author urges a study of construction at +the expense of the human values in a play. On the contrary, such a study +is but the means whereby the human values are made the more manifest. +Surely no one would argue that the less one knows about the technic of +music the better able is one to appreciate music. Indeed, it is not too +much to say that, within reasonable limits, no one can really appreciate +a one-act play if one does not know at least the fundamentals of its +dramatic organization.</p> + +<p>In fact, students of the one-act play recognize in its constructive +regularity not a hindrance to its beauty but a genuine power. This but +lends to it the charm of perfection. The sonnet and the cameo are +admirable, if for no other reason than their superior<a name="page_007" id="page_007"></a> workmanship. The +one-act play does not lose by any reason of its technical requirements; +indeed, this is one of its greatest assets. And the student who will +take the pains to familiarize himself with the organic construction of a +typical one-act play will have gone a long way in arriving at a proper +appreciation of this shorter form of drama.</p> + +<h3>DRAMATIC ANALYSIS AND CONSTRUCTION OF THE ONE-ACT PLAY</h3> + +<h4>I. <span class="smcap">The Theme of the One-Act Play</span></h4> + +<p>The one-act play, like the short story, is a work of literary art, and +must be approached as such. Just like a painting or a poem or a fine +public building, the one-act play aims at making a <i>singleness of +effect</i> upon the reader or observer. One does not judge a statue, or a +poem, or any other work of art, by the appearance of any isolated part +of it, but by the sum-total effect of the whole. The fundamental aim of +a one-act play is that it shall so present a singleness of effect to the +reader or to the assembled group who have gathered to witness a +performance of it, that the reader or observer will be provoked to +emotional response thereto.</p> + +<p>Thus, when a student reads a play like George Middleton's <i>Tradition</i>, +he is made to see and feel that the life of a daughter has been +handicapped and the longings of a mother smothered because of the +conventional narrowness of an otherwise loving father. This is the +singleness of effect of the play; this is its theme. This is precisely +what the author of the play wished his reader or observer to see and +feel. When one reads Bosworth Crocker's <i>The Last Straw</i>, one feels that +a reasonably good and worthy man, because of his sensitiveness to +criticism, has been driven to despair and to a tragic end by the +malicious gossip of neighbors. One's sense of pity at his misfortune is +aroused. This is what the author intended to do. This idea and effect is +the theme of the play. And when the student reads Paul Hervieu's<a name="page_008" id="page_008"></a> +<i>Modesty</i>, he feels that a woman, even though she may lead herself into +thinking she prefers brutal frankness, instinctively likes affection and +even flattery. This is the effect produced by the play; this is its +intent; this is its theme.</p> + +<p>In approaching a one-act play, then, the very first consideration should +be to determine what the purpose and intent of the play is—to determine +its theme. This demands that the play be read through complete at one +sitting and that no premature conclusions be drawn. Once the play is +read, it is well to subject the play to certain leading questions. What +has the author intended that his reader or hearer shall understand, +think, or feel? What is the play about? What is its object and purpose? +Is it a precept or an observation found in life, or is it a bit of +fancy? Is it artificially didactic and moralizing? With what fundamental +element in human nature does it have to do: Love? Patriotism? Fear? +Egotism and self-centredness? Sacrifice? Faithfulness? Or what?</p> + +<p>A word of warning should be given. The student should not get the idea +that by theme is meant the moral of the play. A good play may be +thoroughly moral without its descending to commonplace moralizing. Good +plays concern themselves with the presentation of the fundamentals of +life rather than a creed of morals, theories, and propagandas. Art +concerns itself with larger things than didactic and argumentative +moralizing.</p> + +<h4>II. <span class="smcap">The Technic of the One-Act Play</span></h4> + +<p>Once the student satisfies himself as to the singleness of effect or +theme of the play, he will do well to set himself to the task of seeing +just how the dramatist has achieved this effect. He should keep in mind +that the playwright is a skilled workman; that he has predetermined for +himself just what he wishes his audience to think, feel, or understand, +and has marshalled all his materials to that end. The way by which he +accomplishes that end is his technic. Technic is but the practical +method by<a name="page_009" id="page_009"></a> which an artist can most effectively convey his message to +his public. In a play the materials that the dramatist uses to this end +are character, plot, dialogue, and stage direction. If he is skilled he +will use these elements in such a way that the result will be an +artistic whole, a singleness of effect, an organized unit that will +exemplify and express his theme.</p> + +<p><i>A.</i> <span class="smcap">The Characters in the One-Act Play.</span>—Generally speaking, drama +grows out of character. Farce, melodrama, and extravaganza usually +consist of situation rather than of character. In any event, the student +should avail himself of every means to understand the characters in the +play under discussion. His real appreciation of the play will be in +direct ratio almost to his understanding of the persons in the drama. +Any attention given to this end will be energy well spent. The student +should get into the very heart of the characters, as it were.</p> + +<p>Thus, <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>, in Beulah Bornstead's <i>The Diabolical Circle</i>, is a +narrow, self-centred, Puritan egotist who has little about his +personality to appeal to the romantic and vivacious <span class="smcap">Betty</span>. <span class="smcap">Lady Sims</span>, in +Sir James M. Barrie's <i>The Twelve-Pound Look</i>, is a woman who really is +pathetic in her longing for some human independence in the presence of +her self-centred husband, <span class="smcap">"Sir" Harry Sims</span>. And <span class="smcap">Manikin</span> and <span class="smcap">Minikin</span>, in +Alfred Kreymborg's <i>Manikin and Minikin</i>, are conventionalized puppets +representing the light yet half-serious bickerings, jealousies, and +quarrellings of human nature.</p> + +<p>The student will do well to characterize the <i>dramatis personæ</i> +deliberately and specifically. He should not now value himself for +working fast; for things done in a hurry usually lack depth. He must not +be content with vague and thin generalities. In analyzing a character it +might be well to apply some specific questions similar to the following: +Just what is the elemental human quality in the character? Loving? +Trusting? Egotistic? Superstitious? Revengeful? Treacherous? Selfish? +Discontented? Optimistic? Romantic? Or what? How does the<a name="page_010" id="page_010"></a> dramatist +characterize them: By action? By dialogue? By spirit of likes and +dislikes? By racial trait? By religion? By peculiarity of manner, +speech, appearance? Are the characters really dramatic: are they +impelled to strong emotional reaction upon each other and upon +situation? Do they provoke one's dramatic sympathy? Do they make one +feel their own point of view and their own motives for conduct?</p> + +<p><i>B.</i> <span class="smcap">The Plot of the One-Act Play.</span>—Plot and character are integrally +interlinked. Plot is not merely story taken from every-day life, where +seldom do events occur in a series of closely following minor crucial +moments leading to a climax. The dramatist so constructs his material +that there is a sequential and causal interplay of dramatic forces, +ending in some major crisis or crucial moment. Plot may be said to be +the framework and constructed story by which a dramatist exemplifies his +theme. It does not exist for its own end, but is one of the fundamental +means whereby the playwright gets his singleness of effect, or theme, to +his reader or hearer. From the story material at his disposal the +playwright constructs his plot to this very end.</p> + +<p>Careful attention should be given to the plot. The student should +question it carefully. Do the plot materials seem to have been taken +from actual life? Or do they seem to be invented? Is the plot well +suited to exemplifying the theme? Reconstruct the story out of which the +plot may have been built. Since the plot of a one-act play is highly +simplified, determine whether there are any complexities, any +irrelevancies, any digressions. Does the plot have a well-defined +beginning, middle, and end?</p> + +<p>1. <i>The Beginning of the One-Act Play.</i>—Having but a relatively short +time at its disposal, usually about thirty minutes and seldom more than +forty-five minutes, the beginning of a one-act play is very short. It is +characterized by condensation, compactness, and brevity. Seldom is the +beginning more than a half-page in length; often the play is got under +way in two or<a name="page_011" id="page_011"></a> three speeches. The student will do well to practise to +the end that he will recognize instantly when the dramatic background of +a one-act play has been laid.</p> + +<p>Whatever else may characterize the beginning, it must be dramatically +effective. Instantly it must catch the powers of perception by making +them aware of the initial situation out of which the subsequent dramatic +action will develop. A good beginning makes one <i>feel</i> that suddenly he +has come face to face with a situation which cannot be solved without an +interplay of dramatic forces to a given final result.</p> + +<p>Thus, when one reads Althea Thurston's <i>The Exchange</i>, one is made +suddenly to feel that human beings are discontent with their +shortcomings and possessed qualities, and that they always feel that +they would be happier if they possessed something other than what they +have. The <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, who handles the cases as they come in for exchange, is +disgusted with the vanities of humankind, and is ready to clear his +hands of the whole matter. Here is a situation; it is the beginning of +the play. In the beginning of Lady Gregory's <i>Hyacinth Halvey</i> one is +brought suddenly to the realization that <span class="smcap">Hyacinth Halvey</span> instinctively +rebels against the highly colored and artificially created good name +that has been unwittingly superimposed upon him. This situation, +suddenly presented, is the beginning of the play. Out of this initial +situation the subsequent dramatic action evolves.</p> + +<p>Is the beginning too short? Too long? Does it make the initial dramatic +situation clear? How has the playwright made it clear and effective? +Just where is the end of the beginning? Although the beginning and the +subsequent plot development are well blended together, so that there is +no halting where the beginning ends, usually one can detect where the +one ends and the other begins. It is a good idea, for the purpose of +developing a sense of the organic structure of the one-act play, to draw +a line across the page of the play, just where the one ends and the +other begins.<a name="page_012" id="page_012"></a></p> + +<p>The <i>setting</i> of the play is a part of the beginning. Is the setting +realistic? Romantic? Fantastic or bizarre? Are the details of stage +design, properties, and especially the atmosphere and color scheme in +harmony with the tone of the play itself? Is the setting really an +organic part of the play or is it something apart from it? Note that the +setting is usually written in the third person, present tense, and in +italics.</p> + +<p>2. <i>The Middle of the One-Act Play.</i>—The middle of a one-act play is +concerned primarily with the main crucial moment or climax and the +dramatic movement that from the beginning leads up to it. A good play +consists of a series of minor crises leading up to a major crisis or +crucial moment. It is for this crucial moment that the play exists; it +is for this big scene precisely that the play has been written. Indeed, +the play succeeds or fails as the crucial moment is strongly dramatic or +flabbily weak. This is the part of the play that is strongest in +dramatic tension, strongest in emotional functioning.</p> + +<p>A study of Sir James M. Barrie's <i>The Twelve-Pound Look</i> shows that the +crucial moment comes at the point where <span class="smcap">"Sir" Harry Sims</span> in his +self-centred egotism discovers that his wife's, <span class="smcap">Lady Sims's</span>, +heart-longing could easily be satisfied if she were permitted no other +freedom than merely operating a typewriter. In Althea Thurston's <i>The +Exchange</i> the crucial moment comes when the several characters, who +unwittingly had exchanged one ill for a worse one, find that they can +never re-exchange, and that they must endure the torments and +displeasure of the newly acquired ill throughout life.</p> + +<p>Just where is the crucial moment or climax in the play under +consideration? Determine the several minor crises that lead up to the +crucial moment. Is the crucial moment delayed too long for good dramatic +effect? Or is it reached too soon, so that the play is too short and too +sudden in reaching the climax? Does it make one <i>feel</i> that some vital +result has been attained in the plot movement? Is it characterized by +strong situation and by<a name="page_013" id="page_013"></a> strong emotional reactions of character on +character or of character on situation?</p> + +<p>For purposes of impressing a sense the organic structure of a one-act +play, it is a good plan to draw a horizontal line across the page at the +close of the crucial moment. Keep in mind, however, that the crucial +moment is <i>not</i> the end of the play as it appears on the printed page or +as it is acted on the stage.</p> + +<p>3. <i>The End of the One-Act Play.</i>—The end of the one-act play is an +important consideration. Too often it is entirely lost sight of. It is +the part that frequently makes or mars a play. When the crucial moment +or climax has been reached, the plot action of the play is completed, +but the play is not yet completed. The play needs yet to be rounded out +into an artistic and dramatic whole. In life the actual crisis in human +affairs is not often our chiefest interest, but the reaction of +characters immediately <i>after</i> the crisis has occurred. Thus, in a play, +the emotional reaction of the characters on the crucial moment and the +more or less sudden readjustment between characters after the crucial +moment must be presented. For this very purpose the end of the one-act +play is constructed. The end is of need very short—usually even shorter +than the beginning. Usually the end consists of but a speech or two, or +sometimes only of pantomime that more effectively expresses the +emotional reactions of the characters on the crucial moment than +dialogue.</p> + +<p>Thus, in Sir James M. Barrie's <i>The Twelve-Pound Look</i>, the end consists +of but pantomime, in which <span class="smcap">"Sir" Harry</span> expresses his emotional reaction +upon his wife's longing for the human liberty that even the operating of +a typewriter would provide her. The end of Bosworth Crocker's <i>The Last +Straw</i> comes immediately after the pistol-shot is heard in the adjoining +room and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer's</span> voice is heard: "Fritz! Fritz! Speak to me! Look +at me, Fritz! You didn't do it, Fritz! I know you didn't do it!" etc.</p> + +<p>Is the end of the play under consideration in terms of dialogue?<a name="page_014" id="page_014"></a> In +pantomime? Or both? Is it too long? Too short? Is it dramatic? Is it +conclusive and satisfying?</p> + +<p><i>C.</i> <span class="smcap">Dialogue of the One-Act Play.</span>—Dialogue, like plot and +characterization, is another means whereby the theme of the play is got +to the reader or audience. Good dramatic dialogue is constructed to this +very end. It is not the commonplace, rambling, uncertain, and realistic +question and answer of every-day life. Usually good dramatic dialogue is +crisp, direct, condensed. It is the substance but not the form of +ordinary conversation. Its chiefest characteristic is spontaneity.</p> + +<p><i>The highest type of dramatic dialogue is that which expresses the ideas +and emotions of characters at the points of highest emotional +functioning.</i> It will readily be seen, then, that not all dialogue in a +play is necessarily dramatic. In truth, the best dramatic dialogue +occurs in conjunction with the series of minor crises and the crucial +moment that go to make up the dramatic movement of the play. Often there +is much dialogue in a play that essentially is not dramatic at all.</p> + +<p>In analyzing dramatic dialogue it is well to inquire whether in the play +it serves (1) to express the ideas and emotions of characters at points +of highest emotional functioning, (2) to advance the plot, (3) to reveal +character, or (4) what. Is it brief, clear, direct, spontaneous? Or is +it careless, loose, insipid? Wit, repartee? Didactic, moralizing? +Satirical, cynical?</p> + +<p><i>D.</i> <span class="smcap">Stage-Business and Stage-Direction in the One-Act Play.</span>—The +stage-business and stage-direction, usually printed in italics, of a +play are an essential part of a drama. They must not be ignored in +either reading or staging a play. The novel or short story generally +uses narration and description to achieve its desired result; a play, on +the contrary, uses dialogue and concrete objective pantomime that may be +seen readily with the eye. A play is not a story narrated in +chronological order of events, but it is a story so handled and so +constructed that it can be acted on a stage by actors before an +audience. It is a series<a name="page_015" id="page_015"></a> of minor crises leading to a major crisis, +presented to a reader or to an audience by characters, dialogue, and +stage-business and pantomime. For purposes of indicating the pantomimic +action of the play, the dramatist resorts to stage-business and +stage-direction.</p> + +<p>Does the stage-direction aid in making (1) the dialogue, (2) the plot, +(3) the dramatic action, or (4) the character more clear? Does it +shorten the play? Does it express idea, emotion, or situations more +effectively than could dialogue, if it were used?</p> + +<p>And, finally, do not judge any play until all the evidence is in, until +you have thoroughly mastered every detail and have fully conceived the +<i>author's idea</i> and <i>purpose</i>. It is not a question whether <i>you</i> would +have selected such a theme or whether <i>you</i> would have handled it in the +same way in which the author did; but the point is does the <i>author</i> in +<i>his</i> way make <i>his</i> theme clear to you. The author has conceived a +dramatic problem in his <i>own mind</i> and has set it forth in <i>his own +way</i>. The question is, does he make you see his result and his method?</p> + +<p>Do you like the play? Or do you not like it? State your reason in either +case. Is it because of the author? Is it because of the theme? Is it +because of the technic—the way he gets his intent to his reader or +audience? Is it because of your own likes or dislikes; preconceived +notions or prejudices? Is it because of the acting? Of the staging or +setting? Does it uplift or depress? Does it provoke you to emotional +functioning?</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left">"Though old the thought and oft expressed,</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> 'Tis his at last who says it best."</td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_016" id="page_016"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_017" id="page_017"></a></p> + +<h2> +THE TWELVE-POUND LOOK<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +<br /> +SIR JAMES M. BARRIE</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>The Twelve-Pound Look</i> is reprinted by permission of Charles Scribner's +Sons, the publisher in America of the works of Sir James M. Barrie. For +permission to perform, address the publisher.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_018" id="page_018"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_019" id="page_019"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="SIR_JAMES_M_BARRIE" id="SIR_JAMES_M_BARRIE"></a>SIR JAMES M. BARRIE</p> + +<p>Sir James M. Barrie is rated as the foremost English dramatist of the +day; and his plays, taken together, make the most significant +contribution to English drama since Sheridan. Practically his entire +life has been given to the writing of novels and plays, many of the +latter having their heroines conceived especially for Maude Adams, one +of America's greatest actresses. He was born in Kirriemuir, Scotland, in +1860. He received his education at Dumfries and Edinburgh University. +His first work in journalism and letters was done at Nottingham, but +soon he took up his work in London, where he now resides.</p> + +<p>Sir James M. Barrie's literary labors have been very fruitful. His <i>The +Professor's Love Story</i>, <i>The Little Minister</i>, <i>Quality Street</i>, <i>The +Admirable Crichton</i>, <i>Peter Pan</i>, <i>What Every Woman Knows</i>, and <i>Alice +Sit-by-the-Fire</i> are well known to every one.</p> + +<p>In 1914 there appeared a volume of one-act plays, <i>Half Hours</i>, the most +important of which is <i>The Twelve-Pound Look</i>. And in 1918 appeared a +volume, <i>Echoes of the War</i>, the most important one-act play therein +being <i>The Old Lady Shows Her Medals</i>.</p> + +<p>Barrie is a great playwright because he is so thoroughly human. All the +little whimsicalities, sentiments, little loves, and heart-longings of +human beings are ever present in his plays. He is no reformer, no +propagandist. He appeals to the emotions rather than to the intellect. +He continues the romantic tradition in English drama and gives us plays +that are wholesome, tender, and human. And with all this, he has the +added saving grace of a most absorbing humor.</p> + +<p>While Barrie is not a devotee of the well-made play, his <i>The +Twelve-Pound Look</i> is one of the most nearly perfect one-act plays of +contemporary drama. His interest in human personalities is not more +manifest in any of his plays than in <span class="smcap">Lady Sims</span> and <span class="smcap">"Sir" Harry Sims</span> in +this play.<a name="page_020" id="page_020"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left"><a name="CHARACTERS" id="CHARACTERS"></a>CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">"Sir" Harry Sims</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Lady Sims</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Kate</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Tombes</td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_021" id="page_021"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2><a name="THE_TWELVE-POUND_LOOKA" id="THE_TWELVE-POUND_LOOKA"></a>THE TWELVE-POUND LOOK<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[A]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang"><i>If quite convenient (as they say about checks) you are to conceive +that the scene is laid in your own house, and that</i> <span class="smcap">Harry Sims</span> <i>is +you. Perhaps the ornamentation of the house is a trifle +ostentatious, but if you cavil at that we are willing to +redecorate: you don't get out of being</i> <span class="smcap">Harry Sims</span> <i>on a mere +matter of plush and dados. It pleases us to make him a city man, +but (rather than lose you) he can be turned with a scrape of the +pen into a K.C., fashionable doctor, Secretary of State, or what +you will. We conceive him of a pleasant rotundity with a thick red +neck, but we shall waive that point if you know him to be thin.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>It is that day in your career when everything went wrong just when +everything seemed to be superlatively right.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>In</i> <span class="smcap">Harry's</span> <i>case it was a woman who did the mischief. She came to +him in his great hour and told him she did not admire him. Of +course he turned her out of the house and was soon himself again, +but it spoiled the morning for him. This is the subject of the +play, and quite enough too.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><span class="smcap">Harry</span> <i>is to receive the honor of knighthood in a few days, and we +discover him in the sumptuous "snuggery" of his home in Kensington +(or is it Westminster?), rehearsing the ceremony with his wife. +They have been at it all the morning, a pleasing occupation.</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. +Sims</span> <i>(as we may call her for the last time, as it were, and +strictly as a good-natured joke) is wearing her presentation gown, +and personates the august one who is about to dub her</i> <span class="smcap">Harry</span> +<i>knight. She is seated regally. Her jewelled shoulders proclaim +aloud her husband's generosity. She must<a name="page_022" id="page_022"></a> be an extraordinarily +proud and happy woman, yet she has a drawn face and shrinking ways, +as if there were some one near her of whom she is afraid. She claps +her hands, as the signal to</i> <span class="smcap">Harry</span>. <i>He enters bowing, and with a +graceful swerve of the leg. He is only partly in costume, the sword +and the real stockings not having arrived yet. With a gliding +motion that is only delayed while one leg makes up on the other, he +reaches his wife, and, going on one knee, raises her hand superbly +to his lips. She taps him on the shoulder with a paper-knife and +says huskily: "Rise, Sir Harry." He rises, bows, and glides about +the room, going on his knees to various articles of furniture, and +rises from each a knight. It is a radiant domestic scene, and</i> +<span class="smcap">Harry</span> <i>is as dignified as if he knew that royalty was rehearsing it +at the other end</i>.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Complacently.</i>] Did that seem all right, eh?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Much relieved.</i>] I think perfect.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. But was it dignified?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Oh, very. And it will be still more so when you have the +sword.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. The sword will lend it an air. There are really the five +moments—[<i>suiting the action to the word</i>]—the glide—the dip—the +kiss—the tap—and you back out a knight. It's short, but it's a very +beautiful ceremony. [<i>Kindly.</i>] Anything you can suggest?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. No—oh, no. [<i>Nervously, seeing him pause to kiss the tassel +of a cushion.</i>] You don't think you have practised till you know what to +do almost too well?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He has been in a blissful temper, but such niggling criticism +would try any man.</i></p></div> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. I do not. Don't talk nonsense. Wait till your opinion is +asked for.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Abashed.</i>] I'm sorry, Harry. [<i>A perfect butler appears and +presents a card.</i>] "The Flora Typewriting Agency."<a name="page_023" id="page_023"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Ah, yes. I telephoned them to send some one. A woman, I +suppose, Tombes?</p> + +<p>T<small>OMBES</small>. Yes, Sir Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Show her in here. [<i>He has very lately become a stickler for +etiquette.</i>] And, Tombes, strictly speaking, you know, I am not Sir +Harry till Thursday.</p> + +<p>T<small>OMBES</small>. Beg pardon, sir, but it is such a satisfaction to us.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Good-naturedly.</i>] Ah, they like it down-stairs, do they?</p> + +<p>T<small>OMBES</small>. [<i>Unbending.</i>] Especially the females, Sir Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Exactly. You can show her in, Tombes. [<i>The butler departs on +his mighty task.</i>] You can tell the woman what she is wanted for, Emmy, +while I change. [<i>He is too modest to boast about himself, and prefers +to keep a wife in the house for that purpose.</i>] You can tell her the +sort of things about me that will come better from you. [<i>Smiling +happily.</i>] You heard what Tombes said: "Especially the females." And he +is right. Success! The women like it even better than the men. And +rightly. For they share. <i>You</i> share, <i>Lady</i> Sims. Not a woman will see +that gown without being sick with envy of it. I know them. Have all our +lady friends in to see it. It will make them ill for a week.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>These sentiments carry him off light-heartedly, and presently the +disturbing element is shown in. She is a mere typist, dressed in +uncommonly good taste, but at contemptibly small expense, and she +is carrying her typewriter in a friendly way rather than as a badge +of slavery, as of course it is. Her eye is clear; and in odd +contrast to</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Sims</span>, <i>she is self-reliant and serene</i>.</p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Respectfully, but she should have waited to be spoken to.</i>] Good +morning, madam.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>In her nervous way, and scarcely noticing that the typist +is a little too ready with her tongue.</i>] Good morning. [<i>As a first +impression she rather likes the woman, and the woman,<a name="page_024" id="page_024"></a> though it is +scarcely worth mentioning, rather likes her.</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Sims</span> <i>has a maid for +buttoning and unbuttoning her, and probably another for waiting on the +maid, and she gazes with a little envy perhaps at a woman who does +things for herself</i>.] Is that the typewriting machine?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Who is getting it ready for use.</i>] Yes. [<i>Not "Yes, madam" as it +ought to be.</i>] I suppose if I am to work here I may take this off. I get +on better without it. [<i>She is referring to her hat.</i></p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Certainly. [<i>But the hat is already off.</i>] I ought to +apologize for my gown. I am to be presented this week, and I was trying +it on.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Her tone is not really apologetic. She is rather clinging to the +glory of her gown, wistfully, as if not absolutely certain, you +know, that it is a glory.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. It is beautiful, if I may presume to say so.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She frankly admires it. She probably has a best and a second best +of her own; that sort of thing.</i></p></div> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>With a flush of pride in the gown.</i>] Yes, it is very +beautiful. [<i>The beauty of it gives her courage.</i>] Sit down, please.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>The sort of woman who would have sat down in any case.</i>] I +suppose it is some copying you want done? I got no particulars. I was +told to come to this address, but that was all.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Almost with the humility of a servant.</i>] Oh, it is not work +for me, it is for my husband, and what he needs is not exactly copying. +[<i>Swelling, for she is proud of</i> <span class="smcap">Harry</span>.] He wants a number of letters +answered—hundreds of them—letters and telegrams of congratulation.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>As if it were all in the day's work.</i>] Yes?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Remembering that</i> <span class="smcap">Harry</span> <i>expects every wife to do her +duty</i>.] My husband is a remarkable man. He is about to be knighted. +[<i>Pause, but</i> <span class="smcap">Kate</span> <i>does not fall to the floor</i>.] He is to be knighted +for his services to—[<i>on reflection</i>]—for his services. [<i>She is +conscious that she is not doing</i> <span class="smcap">Harry</span> <i>justice</i>.] He can explain it so +much better than I can.<a name="page_025" id="page_025"></a></p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>In her businesslike way.</i>] And I am to answer the +congratulations?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Afraid that it will be a hard task.</i>] Yes.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Blithely</i>] It is work I have had some experience of.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She +proceeds to type.</i></p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. But you can't begin till you know what he wants to say.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Only a specimen letter. Won't it be the usual thing?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>To whom this is a new idea.</i>] Is there a usual thing?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Oh, yes.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She continues to type, and</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Sims</span>, <i>half-mesmerized, gazes at +her nimble fingers. The useless woman watches the useful one, and +she sighs, she could not tell why.</i></p></div> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. How quickly you do it! It must be delightful to be able to do +something, and to do it well.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Thankfully.</i>] Yes, it is delightful.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small> [<i>Again remembering the source of all her greatness.</i>] But, +excuse me, I don't think that will be any use. My husband wants me to +explain to you that his is an exceptional case. He did not try to get +this honor in any way. It was a complete surprise to him——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Who is a practical</i> <span class="smcap">Kate</span> <i>and no dealer in sarcasm</i>.] That is +what I have written.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>In whom sarcasm would meet a dead wall.</i>] But how could you +know?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I only guessed.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Is that the usual thing?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Oh, yes.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. They don't try to get it?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I don't know. That is what we are told to say in the letters.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>To her at present the only important thing about the letters is +that they are ten shillings the hundred.</i></p></div> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Returning to surer ground.</i>] I should explain<a name="page_026" id="page_026"></a> that my +husband is not a man who cares for honors. So long as he does his +duty——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Yes, I have been putting that in.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Have you? But he particularly wants it to be known that he +would have declined a title were it not——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I have got it here.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. What have you got?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Reading.</i>] "Indeed, I would have asked to be allowed to decline +had it not been that I want to please my wife."</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Heavily.</i>] But how could you know it was that?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Is it?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Who, after all, is the one with the right to ask +questions.</i>] Do they all accept it for that reason?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That is what we are told to say in the letters.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Thoughtlessly.</i>] It is quite as if you knew my husband.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I assure you, I don't even know his name.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Suddenly showing that she knows him.</i>] Oh, he wouldn't like +that!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>And it is here that</i> <span class="smcap">Harry</span> <i>re-enters in his city garments, +looking so gay, feeling so jolly, that we bleed for him. However, +the annoying</i> <span class="smcap">Katherine</span> <i>is to get a shock also</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. This is the lady, Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Shooting his cuffs.</i>] Yes, yes. Good morning, my dear.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Then they see each other, and their mouths open, but not for +words. After the first surprise</i> <span class="smcap">Kate</span> <i>seems to find some humor in +the situation, but</i> <span class="smcap">Harry</span> <i>lowers like a thunder-cloud</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Who has seen nothing.</i>] I have been trying to explain to +her——</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Eh—what? [<i>He controls himself.</i>] Leave it to me, Emmy; I'll +attend to her.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Lady Sims</span> <i>goes, with a dread fear that somehow she has vexed her +lord, and then</i> <span class="smcap">Harry</span> <i>attends to the intruder</i>.</p></div> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>With concentrated scorn.</i>] You!</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>As if agreeing with him.</i>] Yes, it's funny.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. The shamelessness of your daring to come here.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Believe me, it is not less a surprise to me than it is to you. I +was sent here in the ordinary way of business. I was given only the +number of the house. I was not told the name.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Withering her.</i>] The ordinary way of business! This is what +you have fallen to—a typist!</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Unwithered.</i>] Think of it!</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. After going through worse straits, I'll be bound.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>With some grim memories.</i>] Much worse straits.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Alas, laughing coarsely.</i>] My congratulations!</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Thank you, Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Who is annoyed, as any man would be, not to find her +abject.</i>] Eh? What was that you called me, madam?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Isn't it Harry? On my soul, I almost forget.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. It isn't Harry to you. My name is Sims, if you please.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Yes, I had not forgotten that. It was my name, too, you see.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>In his best manner.</i>] It was your name till you forfeited +the right to bear it.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Exactly.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Gloating.</i>] I was furious to find you here, but on second +thoughts it pleases me. [<i>From the depths of his moral nature.</i>] There +is a grim justice in this.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Sympathetically.</i>] Tell me?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Do you know what you were brought here to do?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I have just been learning. You have been made a knight, and I was +summoned to answer the messages of congratulation.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. That's it, that's it. You come on this day as my servant!</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I, who might have been Lady Sims.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. And you are her typist instead. And she has<a name="page_028" id="page_028"></a> four +men-servants. Oh, I am glad you saw her in her presentation gown.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I wonder if she would let me do her washing, Sir Harry?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Her want +of taste disgusts him.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>With dignity.</i>] You can go. The mere thought that only a +few flights of stairs separates such as you from my innocent +children——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He will never know why a new light has come into her face.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Slowly.</i>] You have children?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Inflated.</i>] Two. [<i>He wonders why she is so long in +answering.</i></p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Resorting to impertinence.</i>] Such a nice number.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>With an extra turn of the screw.</i>] Both boys.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Successful in everything. Are they like you, Sir Harry?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Expanding.</i>] They are very like me.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That's nice. [<i>Even on such a subject as this she can be ribald.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Will you please to go.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Heigho! What shall I say to my employer?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. That is no affair of mine.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. What will you say to Lady Sims?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. I flatter myself that whatever I say, Lady Sims will accept +without comment.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She smiles, heaven knows why, unless her next remark explains +it.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Still the same Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. What do you mean?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Only that you have the old confidence in your profound knowledge +of the sex.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Beginning to think as little of her intellect as of her +morals.</i>] I suppose I know my wife.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Hopelessly dense.</i>] I suppose so. I was only remembering<a name="page_029" id="page_029"></a> that +you used to think you knew her in the days when I was the lady. [<i>He is +merely wasting his time on her, and he indicates the door. She is not +sufficiently the lady to retire worsted.</i>] Well, good-by, Sir Harry. +Won't you ring, and the four men-servants will show me out?</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>But he +hesitates.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>In spite of himself.</i>] As you are here, there is something +I want to get out of you. [<i>Wishing he could ask it less eagerly.</i>] Tell +me, who was the man?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The strange woman—it is evident now that she has always been +strange to him—smiles tolerantly.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. You never found out?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. I could never be sure.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Reflectively.</i>] I thought that would worry you.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Sneering.</i>] It's plain that he soon left you.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Very soon.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. As I could have told you. [<i>But still she surveys him with +the smile of Mona Lisa. The badgered man has to entreat.</i>] Who was he? +It was fourteen years ago, and cannot matter to any of us now. Kate, +tell me who he was?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>It is his first youthful moment, and perhaps because of that she +does not wish to hurt him.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Shaking a motherly head.</i>] Better not ask.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. I do ask. Tell me.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. It is kinder not to tell you.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Violently.</i>] Then, by James, it was one of my own pals. Was +it Bernard Roche? [<i>She shakes her head.</i>] It may have been some one who +comes to my house still.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I think not. [<i>Reflecting.</i>] Fourteen years! You found my letter +that night when you went home?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Impatient.</i>] Yes.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I propped it against the decanters. I thought you would be sure to +see it there. It was a room not unlike this, and the furniture was +arranged in the same attractive way. How it all comes back to me. Don't +you see me, Harry, in hat and<a name="page_030" id="page_030"></a> cloak, putting the letter there, taking a +last look round, and then stealing out into the night to meet——</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Whom?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Him. Hours pass, no sound in the room but the tick-tack of the +clock, and then about midnight you return alone. You take——</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Gruffly.</i>] I wasn't alone.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>The picture spoiled.</i>] No? Oh. [<i>Plaintively.</i>] Here have I all +these years been conceiving it wrongly. [<i>She studies his face.</i>] I +believe something interesting happened.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Growling.</i>] Something confoundedly annoying.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Coaxing.</i>] Do tell me.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. We won't go into that. Who was the man? Surely a husband has +a right to know with whom his wife bolted.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Who is detestably ready with her tongue.</i>] Surely the wife has a +right to know how he took it. [<i>The woman's love of bargaining comes to +her aid.</i>] A fair exchange. You tell me what happened, and I will tell +you who he was.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. You will? Very well.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>It is the first point on which they have agreed, and, forgetting +himself, he takes a place beside her on the fire-seat. He is +thinking only of what he is to tell her, but she, womanlike, is +conscious of their proximity.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Tastelessly.</i>] Quite like old times. [<i>He moves away from her +indignantly.</i>] Go on, Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Who has a manful shrinking from saying anything that is to +his disadvantage.</i>] Well, as you know, I was dining at the club that +night.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Jack Lamb drove me home. Mabbett Green was with us, and I +asked them to come in for a few minutes.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Jack Lamb, Mabbett Green? I think I remember them. Jack was in +Parliament.<a name="page_031" id="page_031"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. No, that was Mabbett. They came into the house with me +and—[<i>with sudden horror</i>]—was it him?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Bewildered.</i>] Who?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Mabbett?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. What?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. The man?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. What man? [<i>Understanding.</i>] Oh, no. I thought you said he came +into the house with you.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. It might have been a blind.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Well, it wasn't. Go on.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. They came in to finish a talk we had been having at the club.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. An interesting talk, evidently.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. The papers had been full that evening of the elopement of +some countess woman with a fiddler. What was her name?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Does it matter?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. No. [<i>Thus ends the countess.</i>] We had been discussing the +thing and—[<i>he pulls a wry face</i>]—and I had been rather warm——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>With horrid relish.</i>] I begin to see. You had been saying it +served the husband right, that the man who could not look after his wife +deserved to lose her. It was one of your favorite subjects. Oh, Harry, +say it was that!</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Sourly.</i>] It may have been something like that.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. And all the time the letter was there, waiting; and none of you +knew except the clock. Harry, it is sweet of you to tell me. [<i>His face +is not sweet. The illiterate woman has used the wrong adjective.</i>] I +forget what I said precisely in the letter.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Pulverizing her.</i>] So do I. But I have it still.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Not pulverized.</i>] Do let me see it again.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She has observed his eye wandering to the desk.</i></p></div> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. You are welcome to it as a gift.<a name="page_032" id="page_032"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The fateful letter, a poor little dead thing, is brought to light +from a locked drawer.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Taking it.</i>] Yes, this is it. Harry, how you did crumple it! +[<i>She reads, not without curiosity.</i>] "Dear husband—I call you that for +the last time—I am off. I am what you call making a bolt of it. I won't +try to excuse myself nor to explain, for you would not accept the +excuses nor understand the explanation. It will be a little shock to +you, but only to your pride; what will astound you is that any woman +could be such a fool as to leave such a man as you. I am taking nothing +with me that belongs to you. May you be very happy.—Your ungrateful +<span class="smcap">Kate</span>. <i>P.S.</i>—You need not try to find out who he is. You will try, but +you won't succeed." [<i>She folds the nasty little thing up.</i>] I may +really have it for my very own?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. You really may.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Impudently.</i>] If you would care for a typed copy——?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>In a voice with which he used to frighten his +grandmother</i>.] None of your sauce! [<i>Wincing.</i>] I had to let them see it +in the end.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I can picture Jack Lamb eating it.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. A penniless parson's daughter.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That is all I was.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. We searched for the two of you high and low.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Private detectives?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. They couldn't get on the track of you.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Smiling.</i>] No?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. But at last the courts let me serve the papers by +advertisement on a man unknown, and I got my freedom.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. So I saw. It was the last I heard of you.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Each word a blow for her.</i>] And I married again just as +soon as ever I could.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. They say that is always a compliment to the first wife.<a name="page_033" id="page_033"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Violently.</i>] I showed them.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. You soon let them see that if one woman was a fool, you still had +the pick of the basket to choose from.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. By James, I did.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Bringing him to earth again.</i>] But still, you wondered who he +was.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. I suspected everybody—even my pals. I felt like jumping at +their throats and crying: "It's you!"</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. You had been so admirable to me, an instinct told you that I was +sure to choose another of the same.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. I thought, it can't be money, so it must be looks. Some dolly +face. [<i>He stares at her in perplexity.</i>] He must have had something +wonderful about him to make you willing to give up all that you had with +me.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>As if he was the stupid one.</i>] Poor Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. And it couldn't have been going on for long, for I would have +noticed the change in you.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Would you?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. I knew you so well.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. You amazing man.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. So who was he? Out with it.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. You are determined to know?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Your promise. You gave your word.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. If I must—[<i>She is the villain of the piece, but it must be +conceded that in this matter she is reluctant to pain him.</i>] I am sorry +I promised. [<i>Looking at him steadily.</i>] There was no one, Harry; no one +at all.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>.. [<i>Rising.</i>] If you think you can play with me——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I told you that you wouldn't like it.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Rasping.</i>] It is unbelievable.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I suppose it is; but it is true.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Your letter itself gives you the lie.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That was intentional. I saw that if the truth were known you might +have a difficulty in getting your freedom; and<a name="page_034" id="page_034"></a> as I was getting mine it +seemed fair that you should have yours also. So I wrote my good-by in +words that would be taken to mean what you thought they meant, and I +knew the law would back you in your opinion. For the law, like you, +Harry, has a profound understanding of women.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Trying to straighten, himself.</i>] I don't believe you yet.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Looking not unkindly into the soul of this man.</i>] Perhaps that +is the best way to take it. It is less unflattering than the truth. But +you were the only one. [<i>Summing up her life.</i>] You sufficed.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Then what mad impulse——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. It was no impulse, Harry. I had thought it out for a year.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. A year? [<i>Dazed.</i>] One would think to hear you that I hadn't +been a good husband to you.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>With a sad smile.</i>] You were a good husband according to your +lights.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Stoutly.</i>] <i>I</i> think so.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. And a moral man, and chatty, and quite the philanthropist.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>On sure ground.</i>] All women envied you.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. How you loved me to be envied.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. I swaddled you in luxury.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Making her great revelation.</i>] That was it.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Blankly.</i>] What?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Who can be serene because it is all over.</i>] How you beamed at me +when I sat at the head of your fat dinners in my fat jewelry, surrounded +by our fat friends.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Aggrieved.</i>] They weren't so fat.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>A side issue.</i>] All except those who were so thin. Have you ever +noticed, Harry, that many jewels make women either incredibly fat or +incredibly thin?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Shouting.</i>] I have not. [<i>Is it worth while to<a name="page_035" id="page_035"></a> argue with +her any longer?</i>] We had all the most interesting society of the day. It +wasn't only business men. There were politicians, painters, writers——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Only the glorious, dazzling successes. Oh, the fat talk while we +ate too much—about who had made a hit and who was slipping back, and +what the noo house cost and the noo motor and the gold soup-plates, and +who was to be the noo knight.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Who it will be observed is unanswerable from first to +last.</i>] Was anybody getting on better than me, and consequently you?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Consequently me! Oh, Harry, you and your sublime religion.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Honest heart.</i>] My religion? I never was one to talk about +religion, but——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Pooh, Harry, you don't even know what your religion was and is and +will be till the day of your expensive funeral. [<i>And here is the lesson +that life has taught her.</i>] One's religion is whatever he is most +interested in, and yours is Success.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Quoting from his morning paper.</i>] Ambition—it is the last +infirmity of noble minds.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Noble minds!</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>At last grasping what she is talking about.</i>] You are not +saying that you left me because of my success?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Yes, that was it. [<i>And now she stands revealed to him.</i>] I +couldn't endure it. If a failure had come now and then—but your success +was suffocating me. [<i>She is rigid with emotion.</i>] The passionate +craving I had to be done with it, to find myself among people who had +not got on.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>With proper spirit.</i>] There are plenty of them.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. There were none in our set. When they began to go down-hill they +rolled out of our sight.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Clenching it.</i>] I tell you I am worth a quarter of a +million.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small> [<i>Unabashed.</i>] That is what you are worth to yourself.<a name="page_036" id="page_036"></a> I'll tell +you what you are worth to me: exactly twelve pounds. For I made up my +mind that I could launch myself on the world alone if I first proved my +mettle by earning twelve pounds; and as soon as I had earned it I left +you.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>In the scales.</i>] Twelve pounds!</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That is your value to a woman. If she can't make it she has to +stick to you.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Remembering perhaps a rectory garden.</i>] You valued me at +more than that when you married me.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Seeing it also.</i>] Ah, I didn't know you then. If only you had +been a man, Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. A man? What do you mean by a man?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Leaving the garden.</i>] Haven't you heard of them? They are +something fine; and every woman is loath to admit to herself that her +husband is not one. When she marries, even though she has been a very +trivial person, there is in her some vague stirring toward a worthy +life, as well as a fear of her capacity for evil. She knows her chance +lies in him. If there is something good in him, what is good in her +finds it, and they join forces against the baser parts. So I didn't give +you up willingly, Harry. I invented all sorts of theories to explain +you. Your hardness—I said it was a fine want of mawkishness. Your +coarseness—I said it goes with strength. Your contempt for the weak—I +called it virility. Your want of ideals was clear-sightedness. Your +ignoble views of women—I tried to think them funny. Oh, I clung to you +to save myself. But I had to let go; you had only the one quality, +Harry, success; you had it so strong that it swallowed all the others.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Not to be diverted from the main issue.</i>] How did you earn +that twelve pounds?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. It took me nearly six months; but I earned it fairly. [<i>She +presses her hand on the typewriter as lovingly as many a woman has +pressed a rose.</i>] I learned this. I hired it and taught myself. I got +some work through a friend, and with my first twelve<a name="page_037" id="page_037"></a> pounds I paid for +my machine. Then I considered that I was free to go, and I went.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. All this going on in my house while you were living in the +lap of luxury! [<i>She nods.</i>] By God, you were determined.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Briefly.</i>] By God, I was.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Staring.</i>] How you must have hated me.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Smiling at the childish word.</i>] Not a bit—after I saw that +there was a way out. From that hour you amused me, Harry; I was even +sorry for you, for I saw that you couldn't help yourself. Success is +just a fatal gift.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Oh, thank you.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Thinking, dear friends in front, of you and me perhaps.</i>] Yes, +and some of your most successful friends knew it. One or two of them +used to look very sad at times, as if they thought they might have come +to something if they hadn't got on.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Who has a horror of sacrilege.</i>] The battered crew you live +among now—what are they but folk who have tried to succeed and failed?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That's it; they try, but they fail.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. And always will fail.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Always. Poor souls—I say of them. Poor soul—they say of me. It +keeps us human. That is why I never tire of them.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Comprehensively.</i>] Bah! Kate, I tell you I'll be worth half +a million yet.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I'm sure you will. You're getting stout, Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. No, I'm not.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. What was the name of that fat old fellow who used to fall asleep +at our dinner-parties?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. If you mean Sir William Crackley——</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That was the man. Sir William was to me a perfect picture of the +grand success. He had got on so well that he was very, very stout, and +when he sat on a chair it was thus [<i>her hands<a name="page_038" id="page_038"></a> meeting in front of +her</i>]—as if he were holding his success together. That is what you are +working for, Harry. You will have that and the half million about the +same time.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Who has surely been very patient.</i>] Will you please to +leave my house?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Putting on her gloves, soiled things.</i>] But don't let us part in +anger. How do you think I am looking, Harry, compared to the dull, inert +thing that used to roll round in your padded carriages?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>In masterly fashion.</i>] I forget what you were like. I'm +very sure you never could have held a candle to the present Lady Sims.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That is a picture of her, is it not?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Seizing his chance again.</i>] In her wedding-gown. Painted by +an R.A.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Wickedly.</i>] A knight?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Deceived.</i>] Yes.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Who likes</i> <span class="smcap">Lady Sims</span>—<i>a piece of presumption on her part</i>.] It +is a very pretty face.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>With the pride of possession.</i>] Acknowledged to be a beauty +everywhere.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. There is a merry look in the eyes, and character in the chin.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Like an auctioneer.</i>] Noted for her wit.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. All her life before her when that was painted. It is a +<i>spirituelle</i> face too. [<i>Suddenly she turns on him with anger, for the +first and only time in the play.</i>] Oh, Harry, you brute!</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Staggered.</i>] Eh? What?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. That dear creature, capable of becoming a noble wife and +mother—she is the spiritless woman of no account that I saw here a few +minutes ago. I forgive you for myself, for I escaped, but that poor lost +soul, oh, Harry, Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Waving her to the door.</i>] I'll thank you—If<a name="page_039" id="page_039"></a> ever there +was a woman proud of her husband and happy in her married life, that +woman is Lady Sims.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I wonder.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Then you needn't wonder.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Slowly.</i>] If I was a husband—it is my advice to all of them—I +would often watch my wife quietly to see whether the twelve-pound look +was not coming into her eyes. Two boys, did you say, and both like you?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. What is that to you?</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>With glistening eyes</i>.] I was only thinking that somewhere there +are two little girls who, when they grow up—the dear, pretty girls who +are all meant for the men that don't get on! Well, good-by, Sir Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Showing a little human weakness, it is to be feared.</i>] Say +first that you're sorry.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. For what?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. That you left me. Say you regret it bitterly. You know you +do. [<i>She smiles and shakes her head. He is pettish. He makes a terrible +announcement.</i>] You have spoiled the day for me.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>To hearten him.</i>] I am sorry for that; but it is only a +pin-prick, Harry. I suppose it is a little jarring in the moment of your +triumph to find that there is—one old friend—who does not think you a +success; but you will soon forget it. Who cares what a typist thinks?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Heartened.</i>] Nobody. A typist at eighteen shillings a week!</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>Proudly.</i>] Not a bit of it, Harry. I double that.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Neatly.</i>] Magnificent!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>There is a timid knock at the door.</i>]</p></div> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. May I come in?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Rather appealingly.</i>] It is Lady Sims.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. I won't tell. She is afraid to come into her husband's room +without knocking!<a name="page_040" id="page_040"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. She is not. [<i>Uxoriously.</i>] Come in, dearest.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Dearest enters, carrying the sword. She might have had the sense +not to bring it in while this annoying person is here.</i></p></div> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Thinking she has brought her welcome with her.</i>] Harry, the +sword has come.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Who will dote on it presently.</i>] Oh, all right.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. But I thought you were so eager to practise with it.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The person smiles at this. He wishes he had not looked to see if +she was smiling.</i></p></div> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Sharply.</i>] Put it down.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Lady Sims</span> <i>flushes a little as she lays the sword aside</i>.</p></div> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. [<i>With her confounded courtesy.</i>] It is a beautiful sword, if I +may say so.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Helped.</i>] Yes.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The person thinks she can put him in the wrong, does she? He'll +show her.</i></p></div> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>With one eye on</i> <span class="smcap">Kate</span>.] Emmy, the one thing your neck needs +is more jewels.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Faltering.</i>] More!</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Some ropes of pearls. I'll see to it. It's a bagatelle to me. +[<span class="smcap">Kate</span> <i>conceals her chagrin, so she had better be shown the door. He +rings.</i>] I won't detain you any longer, miss.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. Thank you.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Going already? You have been very quick.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. The person doesn't suit, Emmy.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. I'm sorry.</p> + +<p>K<small>ATE</small>. So am I, madam, but it can't be helped. Good-by, your +ladyship—good-by, Sir Harry.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>There is a suspicion of an impertinent courtesy, and she is +escorted off the premises by</i> <span class="smcap">Tombes</span>. <i>The air of the room is +purified by her going.</i> <span class="smcap">Sir Harry</span> <i>notices it at once</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Whose tendency is to say the wrong thing.</i>] She seemed such +a capable woman.<a name="page_041" id="page_041"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>On his hearth.</i>] I don't like her style at all.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Meekly.</i>] Of course you know best.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>This is the right kind of woman.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Rather anxious for corroboration.</i>] Lord, how she winced +when I said I was to give you those ropes of pearls.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Did she? I didn't notice. I suppose so.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Frowning.</i>] Suppose? Surely I know enough about women to +know that.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Yes, oh yes.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Odd that so confident a man should ask this.</i>] Emmy, I know +you well, don't I? I can read you like a book, eh?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Nervously.</i>] Yes, Harry.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Jovially, but with an inquiring eye.</i>] What a different +existence yours is from that poor lonely wretch's.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Yes, but she has a very contented face.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>With a stamp of his foot.</i>] All put on. What?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Timidly.</i>] I didn't say anything.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. [<i>Snapping.</i>] One would think you envied her.</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Envied? Oh, no—but I thought she looked so alive. It was +while she was working the machine.</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. Alive! That's no life. It is you that are alive. [<i>Curtly.</i>] +I'm busy, Emmy.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>He sits at his writing-table.</i></p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. [<i>Dutifully.</i>] I'm sorry; I'll go, Harry. +[<i>Inconsequentially.</i>] Are they very expensive?</p> + +<p>S<small>IR</small> H<small>ARRY</small>. What?</p> + +<p>L<small>ADY</small> S<small>IMS</small>. Those machines?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>When she has gone the possible meaning of her question startles +him. The curtain hides him from us, but we may be sure that he will +soon be bland again. We have a comfortable feeling, you and I, that +there is nothing of</i> <span class="smcap">Harry Sims</span> <i>in us</i>.</p></div> + +<p><a name="page_042" id="page_042"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_043" id="page_043"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +TRADITION<br /> +<br /><small> +BY<br /> +<br /> +GEORGE MIDDLETON</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>Tradition</i> is reprinted by permission of the author and the publisher, +Henry Holt & Company, New York City. All rights reserved. For permission +to perform, address the author, in care of the publisher.</p> + +<p>The author and publisher of this play have permitted this reprinting of +copyrighted material on the understanding that the play will be used +only in classroom work. No other use of the play is authorized, and +permission for any other use must be secured from the holder of the +acting rights.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_044" id="page_044"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_045" id="page_045"></a></p> + +<p class="cb">GEORGE MIDDLETON</p> + +<p>George Middleton, one of the first to write and publish a volume of +one-act plays in America, was born in Paterson, New Jersey, 1880. He was +graduated from Columbia University in 1902. Since 1921 he has been +literary editor of <i>La Follette's Weekly</i>, and, in addition, has been a +frequent contributor to magazines and reviews on dramatic and literary +subjects. During the last few years he has spent much of his time +abroad.</p> + +<p>George Middleton's chiefest interest has been in the one-act play. He +has been an ardent champion of the shorter form of drama. Among his +three volumes of one-act plays are <i>Embers</i> (including <i>The Failures</i>, +<i>The Gargoyle</i>, <i>In His House</i>, <i>Madonna</i>, and <i>The Man Masterful</i>), +<i>Tradition</i> (including <i>On Bail</i>, <i>Their Wife</i>, <i>Waiting</i>, <i>The Cheat of +Pity</i>, and <i>Mothers</i>), and <i>Possession</i> (including <i>The Grove</i>, <i>A Good +Woman</i>, <i>The Black Tie</i>, <i>Circles</i>, and <i>The Unborn</i>). Other one-act +plays are <i>Criminals</i> and <i>The Reason</i>. His longer plays are <i>Nowadays</i> +and <i>The Road Together</i>. Mr. Middleton has lectured widely on the +one-act play before colleges, in Little Theatres, and clubs. Perhaps his +most notable article is <i>The Neglected One-Act Play</i>, which appeared in +<i>The New York Dramatic Mirror</i> in 1912.</p> + +<p><i>Tradition</i> is one of Mr. Middleton's best and most popular one-act +plays; and it most nearly conforms to the organic technic of the one-act +play.<a name="page_046" id="page_046"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c">FIRST PERFORMANCE AT THE BERKELEY THEATRE, NEW YORK CITY, JANUARY 24, +1913.<br /> +<small>(Produced under the personal direction of Mr. <span class="smcap">Frank Reicher</span>.)</small></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center" colspan="2">THE PEOPLE</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">George Ollivant</span></td><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mr. George W. Wilson</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Emily</span>, <i>his wife</i></td><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Miss Alice Leigh</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mary</span>, <i>his daughter, an actress</i> </td><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Miss Fola La Follette</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_047" id="page_047"></a></p> + +<h2>TRADITION<a name="FNanchor_B_2" id="FNanchor_B_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_B_2" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[B]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>The sitting-room at the</i> <span class="smcap">Ollivants'</span> <i>in a small town +up-State. It is an evening late in the spring.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>A simple room is disclosed, bearing the traces of another +generation. Old-fashioned window-doors at the right, overlooking +the garden, open on a porch; another door in back opening on the +hall-way. A large fire-place at the left, now concealed by an +embroidered screen; the horsehair furniture, several terra-cotta +statuettes, and a woodcut or two on the walls create the subtle +atmosphere of the past. There is a lamp on the table, and another +on a bracket by the door in back. Moonlight filters through the +window-doors.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Ollivants</span> <i>are discovered together</i>. <span class="smcap">Mary</span>, <i>a rather plain +woman of about twenty-five, with a suggestion of quick +sensibilities, is standing, lost in thought, looking out into the +garden. Her mother</i>, <span class="smcap">Emily</span>, <i>nearing fifty, quiet and subdued in +manner, is seated at the table trimming a hat. Occasionally she +looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>, <i>stops her work, glances at her husband, closes her +eyes as though tired, and then resumes. The silence continues for +some time, broken only by the rattle of the town paper which</i> +<span class="smcap">George Ollivant</span> <i>is reading. He is well on in middle life, with a +strong, determined face not entirely without elements of kindness +and deep feeling. When he finishes, he folds the paper, puts it on +the table, knocks the ashes carefully from his pipe into his hand, +and throws them behind the screen; takes<a name="page_048" id="page_048"></a> off his spectacles and +wipes them as he, too, looks over toward his daughter, still gazing +absently into the garden. Finally, after a slight hesitation, he +goes to her and puts his arm about her; she is startled but smiles +sweetly.</i></p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Affectionately.</i>] Glad to be home again, Mary?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Evasively.</i>] The garden is so pretty.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Hasn't changed much, eh?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. It seems different; perhaps it's the night.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I guess it isn't up to its usual standard. Haven't seen your +mother there so often this spring.</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Quietly.</i>] This dry spell is not good for flowers.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. It's only the cultivated flowers that need care; can't help +thinking that when I see the wild ones so hardy in my fields on the +hill. [<i>Turning to</i> <span class="smcap">Emily</span> <i>and patting her</i>.] Is there any of that spray +mixture left, Emily, dear?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. I haven't looked lately.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I'll order some to-morrow. [<i>Taking up his pipe again and +looking for the tobacco.</i>] Think it would be a good idea, daughter, if +you'd spray those rosebushes every couple of weeks. The bugs are a pest +this spring. Where's my tobacco?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. On the mantel.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Wish you would always leave it on the table; you know how I +hate to have things changed.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Ollivant</span> <i>goes to the mantel, filling his pipe, and while his back +is turned</i>, <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>makes a quick questioning gesture to her mother, +who sighs helplessly</i>. <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>ponders a moment</i>.]</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. How's Ben been doing these two years, father?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Hasn't your brother written you?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Only once—when I left home; he disapproved, too.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Had an older brother's feeling of wanting to take care of you, +Mary.<a name="page_049" id="page_049"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes; I know. How's he doing?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. He's commencing to get on his feet. Takes time and money for +any one to get started these days.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. But he's still in partnership with Bert Taylor, isn't he?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Yes. He'd have been somewhere if he'd worked in with me as I +did with <i>my</i> father. Things should be handed down. Offered him the +chance, tried to make him take it, as your mother knows; but that +college chum—nice enough fellow, I've heard—turned his head another +way. [<i>Lighting his pipe and puffing slowly.</i>] It's best to humor a +young fellow's ideas if he sticks them out, but I'd like to have had us +all here together now. The place is big enough even if he should want to +marry. Your mother and I came here, you know, when your grandfather was +still alive.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Then Ben isn't making any money?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Reluctantly.</i>] Not yet—to speak of.</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Quietly.</i>] But he's promised to pay his father back, Mary.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I see. [<i>Thoughtfully.</i>] College and then more help to get +started, because he's a man.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Complacently.</i>] He'll have to support a family some day; +I've had to keep that in mind.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I'd like to have a real talk with him.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. When did his letter say he'd be coming for a visit, Emily?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. The fifteenth.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Not till then? That's too bad.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Eh?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>After exchanging a quick glance with her mother and gaining +courage.</i>] Father, I hope you didn't misunderstand my coming back?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Not at all. We all make mistakes—especially when we're young. +Perhaps I was a bit hasty when you left<a name="page_050" id="page_050"></a> home, but I knew you'd soon see +I was right. I didn't think it would take you two years—but perhaps if +I'd written you before you'd have come sooner. I told your mother I'd +like to make it easy for you to come home.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Mother suggested that you write me?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, I suppose you might put it that way. I always felt she +thought I was a bit hard on you, but I'm not one to back down easily.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Don't blame me then, father, if I showed I was your daughter.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Let's forget my feeling; but naturally I was set back.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Because you didn't take my going seriously until I was actually +leaving.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I couldn't get it into my head then, and I can't now, how any +girl would want to leave a home like this, where you have everything. +You don't know how lucky you are—or maybe you have realized it. Look +about you and see what other girls have. Is it like this? Trees, +flowers, and a lake view that's the best in the county. Why, one can +breathe here and even taste the air. Every time I come back from a +business trip it makes a new man of me. Ask your mother. Eh, Emily? When +I sit out there on the porch in the cool evenings it makes me feel at +ease with the world to know that the place is <i>mine</i> and that I've +raised a family and can take care of them all. Ben had to go, I +suppose—it's the way with sons; but I thought you, at least, would stay +here, daughter, in this old house where you were born, where I was born, +where all your early associations——</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Shuddering.</i>] I hate associations.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Eying her.</i>] Well, I'd like to know where you get <i>that</i> +from. Not from your mother and me. <i>We</i> like them, don't we, Emily? Why, +your mother's hardly ever even left here—but you had to up and get out.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes. That's right, father; I <i>had</i> to.<a name="page_051" id="page_051"></a></p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>He stops smoking and looks at her sharply.</i>] Had to? Who +made you?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Reluctantly.</i>] It was something inside me.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>In spite of himself.</i>] Tush—that foolishness.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Quickly.</i>] Don't make it hard for us again.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I made it hard, Mary? Because I objected to your leaving your +mother here alone?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I remember; you said I was a foolish, "stage-struck" girl.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, you're over <i>that</i>, aren't you?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. That's just where you are mistaken, father. [<i>Slowly.</i>] That's why +I asked you if you hadn't misunderstood my coming back.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Suspiciously.</i>] Then why did you come at all?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I'm human; I wanted to see you and mother, so I came when you +generously wrote me. I'm not going to stay and spray the roses.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>He eyes her tensely and controls himself with an effort.</i>] +So you are not going to stay with your mother and me?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Affectionately.</i>] I'll come see you as often as I can and——</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>.—and make a hotel of your home? [<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>is silent</i>.] Don't you +see your mother is getting older and needs somebody to be here?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>With a quiet assurance.</i>] I have never been so well and +contented.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Tenderly.</i>] I know better, Emily; can't I see you're getting +thinner and older? [<i>Stopping her protests.</i>] Now, let me manage this, +dear. It's a girl's place to stay at home. You know my feelings about +that. Suppose anything should happen to your mother, what would <i>I</i> do?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. So it's not mother alone you are thinking of?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Tersely.</i>] I'm thinking of your place at home—doing a +woman's work. I'm not proud of having my daughter<a name="page_052" id="page_052"></a> off earning her own +living as though I couldn't support her.</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. George!</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I thought it was only because I was on the stage.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, it's not the most heavenly place, is it? A lot of +narrow-minded fools here in town thought I was crazy to <i>let</i> you go; I +knew how they felt; I grinned and bore it. You were my daughter and I +loved you, and I didn't want them to think any less of you by their +finding out you were leaving against my wish.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Slowly, with comprehension.</i>] That's what hurt you.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, I blamed myself a bit for taking you to plays and liking +them myself.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. People here will soon forget about me and merely be sorry for you.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Persuasively.</i>] Why, Mary. I've made it easy for you to +stay. I told every one you were coming home for good. They'll think me a +fool if——</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Tenderly.</i>] You meant what was dear and good, father; but you +had no right to say that. I'm sorry.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I did it because I thought you had come to your senses.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Firmly.</i>] I never saw so clearly as I do now.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Bluntly.</i>] Then you're stubborn—plain stubborn—not to +admit failure.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Startled.</i>] Failure?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I know what the newspapers said; Ben sent them to me.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Which ones?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Why, all of them, I guess.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Did he send you the good ones?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Were there any?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Oh, I see. So Ben carefully picked out only those which would +please you.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] Please me?<a name="page_053" id="page_053"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes; because you and he didn't want me to succeed; because you +thought failure would bring me home. But don't you think I'll let some +cub reporter settle things for me. I'll never come home through +failure—never.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Kindly.</i>] Ben and I only want to protect you, Mary.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Why do men always want to protect women?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Because we know the world.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes; but you don't know <i>me</i>. Father, you still think I'm only a +foolish, stage-struck girl, and want flowers and men and my name in big +letters. It isn't that.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, what is it, then?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Oh—I want to be an artist. I don't suppose you can understand it; +I didn't, myself, at first. I was born with it, but didn't know what it +was till that first time you took me to the theatre.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. So it was all my fault?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. It isn't anybody's fault; it's just a fact. I knew from that day +what I wanted to do. I wanted to act—to create. I don't care whether I +play a leading lady or a scrub-woman, if I can do it with truth and +beauty.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, you haven't done much of either, have you? What have you +got to show for our unhappiness? What have you got ahead of you?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Nothing—definite.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Incredulously.</i>] Yet, you're going to keep at it?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. What do you think of that, Emily?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I am going to the city Monday.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Persistently.</i>] But what will you do when you get there?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. What I've done before: hunt a job, tramp the streets, call at the +offices, be snubbed and insulted by office-boys—keep at it till I get +something to do.<a name="page_054" id="page_054"></a></p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Come, come, Mary; don't make me lose patience. Put your pride +in your pocket. You've had your fling. You've tried and failed. Give it +all up and stay home here where you can be comfortable.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>With intense feeling.</i>] Father, I can't give it up. It doesn't +make any difference how they treat me, how many times I get my "notice" +and don't even make good according to their standards. I can't give it +up. I simply can't. It keeps gnawing inside me and driving me on. It's +there—always there, and I know if I keep at work I will succeed. I know +it; I know it.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>throws herself into the chair, much stirred</i>. <span class="smcap">Emily's</span> <i>eyes +have eagerly followed her throughout this as though responding +sympathetically, but</i> <span class="smcap">Ollivant</span> <i>has stood in silence, watching her +apparently without comprehension</i>.]</p></div> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Not without kindness.</i>] Something inside. Huh! Have you any +clear idea what she's talking about, Emily?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>gives a short, hurt cry and goes quickly to the window, +looking out and controlling herself with an effort</i>.]</p></div> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Softly, as she looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>.] I think I understand.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I don't. Something inside. I never had anything like that +bothering me. What's it all mean?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Quietly.</i>] So many people use the same words, but cannot +understand each other.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, you seem to think it's mighty important Mary, whatever +it is; but it's too much for me. If you had something to show for it I +wouldn't mind. But you're just where you started and you might as well +give up.</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. George!</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Now I don't know much about the stage, Emily, but Ben does. He +says you're not made for an actress, Mary; you haven't got a chance.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Turning.</i>] Father!</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Can't you see your failure isn't your own fault? If you were a +beauty like Helen Safford or some of those other<a name="page_055" id="page_055"></a> "stars"—but you're +not pretty, why, you're not even good-looking and——</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>With bitter vehemence</i>.] Oh, don't go any further. I know all +that. But I don't care how I look off the stage if only I can grow +beautiful on it. I'll create with so much inner power and beauty that +people will forget how I look and only see what I think and feel. I can +do it; I have done it; I've made audiences feel and even got my "notice" +because the stage-manager said I was "too natural." Helen +Safford—what's she? A professional beauty with everything outside and +nothing in. You think of her eyes, her mouth, and her profile; but does +she touch you so you remember? I know her work. Wait till I get a chance +to play a scene with her—which they may give me because I'm not +good-looking—I'll make them forget she's on the stage the first ten +minutes—yes, and you and Ben, too, if you'll come. Helen Safford? Huh! +Why, people will remember me when she's only a lithograph.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, then, why haven't you had your chance?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Quickly.</i>] Because most managers feel the way you and Ben do. +And not having a lovely profile and a fashion-plate figure stands +between me and a chance even to read a part, let alone play it. That's +what eats the heart out of me, mother; and makes me hate my face every +time I sit down to put on the grease paint.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, don't blame me for that.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Going to her mother, who takes her hand.</i>] You can laugh at me, +father; you don't understand. It's foolish to talk. But, oh, mother, why +is such beauty given to women like Helen Safford who have no inner need +of it, and here am I, with a real creative gift, wrapped up in a +nondescript package which stands between me and everything I want to do? +[<i>With determination.</i>] But I will—ultimately I will make good, in +spite of my looks; others have. And what I've suffered will make me a +greater artist.<a name="page_056" id="page_056"></a></p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>In a matter-of-fact tone.</i>] Are you sure all this isn't +overconfidence and vanity?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I don't care what you call it. It's what keeps me working.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Quickly.</i>] Working? But how can you work without an +engagement?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. That <i>is</i> the hard part of our life; waiting, waiting for a chance +to work. But don't think I stand still when I haven't an engagement. I +don't dare. That's why I keep at my voice work and dancing and——</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Suddenly interrupting.</i>] Dancing and voice work when you +have no engagements. Would you mind telling me who is paying the bills?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Indignantly.</i>] Father!</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I think I have the right to ask that.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Have you?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I am your father.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>With quiet dignity.</i>] You thought you'd force me here at home to +do as you wished because you paid for my food and clothes; when you took +that from me you <i>ceased</i> to have that right. Don't forget since I left +you've not helped me with my work or given me a penny.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Suspiciously.</i>] Mary.... No, that's not why you went away +from home?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. No.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Or you met some man <i>there</i> and....</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. No.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. There is some man.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Why a <i>man</i>?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Damn them; I know them. [<i>Breaking.</i>] Good God, Mary, dear, +you haven't ...? Answer me, daughter.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Calmly.</i>] No, there's been no need of that.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He has been violently shaken at the thought, looks at her +intently, believes her, and then continues in a subdued manner.</i></p></div> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Then who helped you? Ben?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. How could he help me? Are men the only ones who help women?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Quietly.</i>] Tell him, Mary; it's best now.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Turning slowly to her in surprise.</i>] You knew and have kept +it from me?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Calmly, as she puts down the hat she has been trimming.</i>] I +found I hadn't lost my old skill, though it's been a good many years +since I held a brush—since before we were married, George. I had an +idea I thought would sell: paper dolls with little hand-painted dresses +on separate sheets; they were so much softer than the printed kind, and +children like anything soft. I wrote to Mr. Aylwin—you remember—he was +so kind to me years before. He had called here once before when you were +away and asked after my work. He used to think I had such promise. He +found an opportunity to use the dolls as a specialty, and when I +explained he induced some other firms to use all I can paint, too. They +pay me very well. I made enough each month to help Mary when she went +behind.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Incredulously.</i>] You! After you heard me say when she left I +wouldn't give her a cent?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Looking fondly at</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>.] You were keeping Ben, weren't you?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. But—that's—that's different.</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. I didn't see why we shouldn't help <i>both</i> our children.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Perplexed by this he turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>.] And you took it?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. You knew how she got the money?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Your mother working herself sick for you, and you took it?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. I told you I've never been so happy.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Simply.</i>] I couldn't bargain with what I felt. I had to study. +I'd have taken anything, gotten it anywhere. I<a name="page_058" id="page_058"></a> had to live. You didn't +help me. Ben and I both went against your will, but you helped him +because he was your son. I was only your daughter.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Ollivant</span> <i>eyes her and seems to be struggling with himself. He is +silent a long while as they both watch him. Finally, after several +efforts he speaks with emotion.</i>]</p></div> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Mary, I—I didn't realize how much you meant to me till—till +I thought of what might have happened to you without my help. +Would—would you have stayed on in the city if—if your mother hadn't +helped you?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Firmly.</i>] Yes, father; I would have stayed on.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>After a pause.</i>] Then I guess what you <i>feel</i> is stronger +than all your mother and I tried to teach you.... Are you too proud to +take help from me—now?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Simply.</i>] No, father; till I succeed. Then I'll pay you back +like Ben promised.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>Hurt.</i>] You don't think it was the money, daughter? It would +have cost to keep you here. It wasn't that.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. No; it was your father speaking and his father and his father. +[<i>Looking away wistfully.</i>] And perhaps I was speaking for those before +me who were silent or couldn't be heard.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>With sincerity.</i>] I don't exactly understand <i>that</i> any more +than the feeling you spoke of driving you from home. But I do see what +you mean about brothers and sisters. You seem to think boys and girls +are the same. But they're not. Men and women are different. You may not +know it, but your mother had foolish ideas like you have when I first +knew her. She was poor and didn't have a mother to support her, and she +had to work for a living. She'd about given up when I met her—trying to +work at night to feed herself in the day while studying. But she was +sensible; when a good man came along who could support her she married +him and settled down. Look how happy she's been here with a home of her +own that is a home—<a name="page_059" id="page_059"></a>with associations and children. Where would she be, +struggling to-day trying to paint pictures for a living? Why, there's +lots of men who can paint pictures, and too few good wives for +hard-working, decent men who want a family—which is God's law. You'll +find that out one of these days and you'll give yourself as she did. +Some day a man will come and you'll want to marry him. How could you if +you keep on with your work, going about the country?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Quietly.</i>] You leave mother at times, don't you?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. I've got to.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. So may I.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. And the children?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. They'd have a share of my life.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. A mighty big share if you're human, I tell you. Ask your +mother if you think they're easy coming and bringing up.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. And now they've left her. Dear mother, what has she to do?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Well, if you ever get a husband with those ideas of yours +you'll see what a wife has to do. [<i>He goes to her.</i>] Mary, it isn't +easy, all this you've been saying. But your mother and I are left alone, +and perhaps we <i>have</i> got different views than you. But if ever you do +see it our way, and give up or fail—- well, come back to us, +understand?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Going to him and kissing him.</i>] I understand how hard it was for +you to say that. And remember I may come back a success.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Yes. I suppose they all think that; it's what keeps them +going. But some day, when you're in love and marry, you'll see it all +differently.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Father, what if the man does not come—or the children?</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Why—[<i>He halts as though unable to answer her.</i>] Nonsense. +He'll come, never fear; they always do.<a name="page_060" id="page_060"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I wonder.</p> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. [<i>He goes affectionately to</i> <span class="smcap">Emily</span><i>, who has been staring +before her during this</i>.] Emily, dear. No wonder the flowers have been +neglected. Well, you'll have time to spray those roses yourself. I'll +get the spray mixture to-morrow. [<i>Kisses her tenderly.</i>] Painting paper +dolls with a change of clothes! When I might have been sending her the +money without ever feeling it. No more of that, dear; you don't have to +now. I shan't let you get tired and sick. That's one thing I draw the +line at. [<i>He pats her again, looks at his watch, and then goes slowly +over to the window-doors.</i>] Well, it's getting late. I'll lock up. +[<i>Looking up at sky.</i>] Paper says it will rain to-morrow.</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Very quietly so only</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>can hear</i>.] At the art school they +said I had a lovely sense of color. Your father is so kind; but he +doesn't know how much I enjoyed painting again—even those paper dolls.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Comprehending in surprise.</i>] Mother! You, <i>too</i>?</p> + +<p>E<small>MILY</small>. [<i>Fearing lest</i> <span class="smcap">Ollivant</span> <i>should hear</i>.] Sh!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Ollivant</span> <i>closes the doors and eyes the women thoughtfully</i>.]</p></div> + +<p>O<small>LLIVANT</small>. Better fasten the other windows when you come. Good-night.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He goes out slowly as mother and daughter sit there together.</i>]</p></div> + +<p class="c"><small>THE CURTAIN FALLS</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_061" id="page_061"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +THE EXCHANGE<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +<br /> +ALTHEA THURSTON</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>The Exchange</i> is reprinted by permission of Althea Thurston. This play +is one of the farces written in the Course in Dramatic Composition +(English 109) in the University of Utah. For permission to perform, +address B. Roland Lewis, Department of English, University of Utah, Salt +Lake City, Utah.</p></div> + +<p><a name="page_062" id="page_062"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_063" id="page_063"></a></p> + +<p class="cb">ALTHEA THURSTON</p> + +<p>Althea Cooms-Thurston, one of the promising writers of the younger set +of American dramatists, was born in Iowa, but soon moved with her +parents to Colorado, where she spent her girlhood. She was educated in +the public schools of Colorado Springs and Denver. Her collegiate +training was received in the University of Utah, Salt Lake City. In 1902 +she married Walter R. Thurston, a well-known engineer. At present she +resides in Dallas, Texas.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Thurston has travelled widely and has resided for periods of time +in Mexico City and Havana, Cuba. She is an able linguist and has made a +special study of her native English tongue and of Spanish and French, +all of which she uses fluently.</p> + +<p>From childhood she has shown dramatic ability. Her dramatic composition +has been more or less directly associated with the courses in +playwriting and the history of the drama which she completed in the +University of Utah. Among her one-act plays are <i>When a Man's Hungry</i>, +<i>And the Devil Laughs</i>, and <i>The Exchange</i>.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Thurston has an aptitude for delicate and satirical farce. <i>The +Exchange</i> is an excellent example of farce-comedy in the contemporary +one-act play.<a name="page_064" id="page_064"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left">CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Judge</span>, <i>the exchanger of miseries</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Imp</span>, <i>office boy to the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">A Poor Man</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">A Vain Woman</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">A Rich Citizen</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_065" id="page_065"></a></p> + +<h2>THE EXCHANGE<a name="FNanchor_C_3" id="FNanchor_C_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_C_3" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[C]</span></a></h2> + +<h3>SCENE I</h3> + +<p class="hang"><i>The curtain rises upon an office scene. Seemingly there is nothing +unusual about this office: it has tables, chairs, a filing cabinet, +and a hat-rack. A portion of the office is railed off at the right. +Within this enclosed space is a commodious desk and swivel-chair; +and the filing cabinet stands against the wall. This railed-off +portion of the office belongs, exclusively, to the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span>. <i>Here he +is wont to spend many hours—sometimes to read or write, and again, +perhaps, he will just sit and ponder upon the vagaries of mankind. +The</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span> <i>is a tall, spare man with rather long gray hair, which +shows beneath the skull-cap that he always wears. When we first see +him, he is reading a letter, and evidently he is not pleased, for +he is tapping with impatient fingers upon his desk.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>At the left of the stage is a heavily curtained door which leads +to an inner room. At centre rear is another door which evidently +leads to the street, as it is through this door that the</i> <span class="smcap">Poor Man</span>, +<i>the</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span>, <i>and the</i> <span class="smcap">Rich Citizen</span> <i>will presently enter, +each upon his special quest. The hat-rack stands near the street +door, and we glimpse a soft black hat and a long black overcoat +hanging upon it.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Down stage to the left is a flat-topped desk, littered with papers +and letters. This desk has two large drawers, wherein a number of +miscellaneous articles might be kept. It is at this desk that we +catch our first glimpse of</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>. <i>He is busily writing in a huge<a name="page_066" id="page_066"></a> +ledger, and he seems to be enjoying his work, for he chuckles the +while.</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>is a little rogue; he looks it and acts it, and we +feel that he has a Mephistophelian spirit. He wears a dark-green +tight-fitting uniform, trimmed with red braid. His saucy little +round cap is always cocked over one eye. He is ever chuckling +impishly, and we feel that he is slyly gleeful over the weaknesses +of mankind and the difficulties that beset them.</i></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Throws down his pen, chuckles, and half standing on the rungs of +his chair and balancing himself against his desk, surveys the ledger.</i>] +Your honor, I've all the miseries listed to date and a fine lot there is +to choose from. Everything from bunions to old wives for exchange.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Scowls and impatiently taps the letter he is reading.</i>] Here is +another one. A woman suspects her husband of a misalliance. Wants to +catch him, but is so crippled with rheumatism she can't get about. Wants +us to exchange her rheumatism for something that won't interfere with +either her walking or her eyesight.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Referring to the ledger and running his finger along the lines.</i>] +We have a defective heart or a lazy liver that we could give her.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Irritably tossing the letter over to</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>.] She would not be +satisfied. People never are. They always want to change their miseries, +but never their vices. Each thinks his own cross heavier than others +have to bear, but he is very willing to make light of his own weaknesses +and shortcomings. He thinks they are not half so bad as his neighbor's. +I have tried for years to aid distressed humanity, but I can't satisfy +them. I am growing tired of it all, Imp. People need a lesson and +they're going to get it, too. I am going to——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Knock is heard at the street door.</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span> <i>sighs, turns to his +desk and begins to write</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>sweeps the litter of papers on his +desk into a drawer, closes ledger, and goes to answer knock</i>.</p></div> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. Here comes another misery.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>opens the door to admit the</i> <span class="smcap">Poor Man</span>, <i>who is very shabbily +dressed. He hesitates, looks around the room as if he were in the +wrong place, and then addresses</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>in a loud whisper</i>.</p></div> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Indicating the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span> <i>with a motion of his head</i>.] Is that +him?</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Whispering loudly his reply.</i>] Yes, that is his honor.</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Still whispering and showing signs of nervousness.</i>] Do I +dare speak to him?</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Enjoying the situation and still whispering.</i>] Yes, but be +careful what you say.</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Takes off his hat, approaches slowly to the railing, and +speaks humbly.</i>] Your honor. I—[<i>Swallows hard, clears throat.</i>] Your +honor, I've a little favor—to ask of you.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Looking coldly at the</i> <span class="smcap">Poor Man</span>.] Well?</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. You see, your honor, I've been poor all my life. I've never +had much fun. I don't ask for a lot of money, but—I would like enough +so that I could have some swell clothes, and—so that I could eat, +drink, and be merry with the boys. You know, I just want to have a good +time. Do you think you could fix it for me, Judge?</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Gazes at him sternly for a moment.</i>] So you just want to have a +good time? Want me to take away your poverty? I suppose you have no +moral weakness you want to change, no defects in your character that you +want to better?</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Stammering and twirling his hat.</i>] Why, w-hy, Judge, I—I am +not a bad man. Of—of course, I have my faults, but then—I've never +committed any crimes. I guess I stack up pretty fair as men go. I'm just +awful tired of being poor and never having any fun. Couldn't you help me +out on that point, Judge?</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sighs wearily and turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>.] Bring me the ledger.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>gives him the ledger in which he has been writing</i>. <span class="smcap">Judge</span> +<i>opens it, and then speaks sharply to the</i> <span class="smcap">Poor Man</span>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. You understand, do you, my good man, that if I take away your +poverty and give you enough money for your good time, you will have to +accept another misery?</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Yes, your honor, that's all right. I'm willing.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Scanning ledger.</i>] Very well. Let us see. Here is paralysis.</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Hesitatingly.</i>] Well. I—I couldn't have a—very good time, +if—if I was paralyzed.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Shortly.</i>] No. I suppose not. How about a glass eye?</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Anxiously.</i>] Please, your honor, if I'm going to have a good +time I need two good eyes. I don't want to miss anything.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Wearily turning over the leaves of the ledger.</i>] A man left his +wife here for exchange, perhaps you would like her.</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Shifting from one foot to the other and nervously twirling +his hat.</i>] Oh, Judge, oh, no, please, no. I don't want anybody's old +cast-off wife.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Becoming exasperated.</i>] Well, choose something, and be quick +about it. Here is lumbago, gout, fatness, old age, and——</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Interrupting, and walking quickly over to the railing.</i>] Excuse +me, Judge, but maybe the gentleman would like the indigestion that Mr. +Potter left when he took old Mrs. Pratt's fallen arches.</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Indigestion? Sure! That will be fine! I won't +mind a little thing like indigestion if I can get rid of my poverty.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sternly.</i>] Very well. Raise your right hand. Repeat after me: +"I swear to accept indigestion for better or for worse as my portion of +the world's miseries, so help me God."</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Solemnly.</i>] "I swear to accept indigestion for better or for +worse as my portion of the world's miseries, so help me God."<a name="page_069" id="page_069"></a></p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>.] Show this gentleman to the changing-room.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Poor Man</span> <i>follows</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>, <i>who conducts him to the heavily curtained +door. The</i> <span class="smcap">Poor Man</span> <i>throws out his chest and swaggers a bit, as a +man might who had suddenly come into a fortune</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>swaggers +along with him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. Won't you have a grand time, though. I'll get you a menu card, so +that you can be picking out your dinner.</p> + +<p>P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Joyfully slapping</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>on the back</i>.] Good idea, and I'll +pick out a regular banquet.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Pausing a moment before he passes through the curtains, he smiles +and smacks his lips in anticipation. Exit.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Speaks disgustedly to</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>.] There you are! He's perfectly +satisfied with his morals. Has no defects in his character. Just wants +to have a good time.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sighs heavily and turns back to his writing.</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>nods his head +in agreement and chuckles slyly</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>The street door opens slowly and the</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>stands upon the +threshold. She does not enter at once, but stands +posing—presumably she desires to attract attention, and she is +worthy of it. She has a superb figure, and her rich gowning +enhances it. Her fair face reveals a shallow prettiness, but the +wrinkles of age are beginning to leave telltale lines upon its +smoothness. As</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>hurries forward to usher her in, she sweeps +grandly past him to the centre of the stage</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>stops near the +door, with his hands on his hips, staring after her, then takes a +few steps in imitation of her. She turns around slowly and, +sauntering over to the railing, coughs affectedly, and as the</i> +<span class="smcap">Judge</span> <i>rises and bows curtly, she speaks in a coaxing manner</i>.</p></div> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. Judge, I have heard that you are very kind, and I have been +told that you help people out of their troubles, so I have a little +favor to ask of you.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Coldly.</i>] Yes, I supposed so; go on.</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Archly.</i>] Well, you know that I am a famous<a name="page_070" id="page_070"></a> beauty; in +fact, both my face and my form are considered very lovely. [<i>She turns +around slowly that he may see for himself.</i>] Great and celebrated men +have worshipped at my feet. I simply cannot live without admiration. It +is my very life. But, Judge [<i>plaintively</i>], horrid wrinkles are +beginning to show in my face. [<i>Intensely.</i>] Oh, I would give anything, +do anything, to have a smooth, youthful face once more. Please, oh, +please, won't you take away these wrinkles [<i>touching her face with her +fingers</i>] and give me something in their stead.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Looking directly at her and speaking coldly.</i>] Are you +satisfied with yourself in other ways? Is your character as beautiful as +your face? Have you no faults or weaknesses that you want exchanged?</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Uncertainly.</i>] Why, I—don't know what you mean. I am just +as good as any other woman and lots better than some I know. I go to +church, and I subscribe to the charities, and I belong to the best +clubs. [<i>Anxiously.</i>] Oh, please, Judge, it's these wrinkles that make +me so unhappy. Won't you exchange them? You don't want me to be unhappy, +do you? Please take them away.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Wearily looking over the ledger.</i>] Oh, very well, I'll see what +I can do for you. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>.] Fetch a chair for this lady.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>gives her a chair and she sits facing front</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>returns to +his desk, perches himself upon it and watches the</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> +<i>interestedly</i>. <span class="smcap">Judge</span> <i>turns over the leaves of the ledger</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. I have a goitre that I could exchange for your wrinkles.</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Protestingly, clasping her hands to her throat.</i>] Oh, +heavens, no! That would ruin my beautiful throat. See. [<i>Throwing back +her fur and exposing her neck in a low-cut gown.</i>] I have a lovely neck. +[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>makes an exaggerated attempt to see</i>.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Glances coldly at her and then scans ledger again.</i>] Well, how +about hay-fever?<a name="page_071" id="page_071"></a></p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Reproachfully.</i>] Oh, Judge, how can you suggest such a +thing! Watery eyes and a red nose, the worst enemy of beauty there is. I +simply couldn't think of it. I want something that won't show.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Disgustedly turns to filing cabinet and looks through a series +of cards, withdraws one, and turns back to</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span>.] Perhaps this +will suit you. [<i>Refers to card.</i>] A woman has grown very tired of her +husband and wants to exchange him for some other burden.</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Indignantly.</i>] What! I accept a man that some other woman +doesn't want! Certainly not! I prefer one that some other woman does +want.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Irritated, puts the card back in its place, and turns upon the</i> +<span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>crossly</i>.] I fear that I cannot please you and I do not have +time to——</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Interrupts and runs over to the railing, speaking soothingly to +the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.] Excuse me, Judge, but maybe the lady would like deafness in +exchange for her wrinkles. Deafness wouldn't show, so it couldn't spoil +her face or her elegant figure.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Wearily.</i>] No, it won't show. Deafness ought to be a good thing +for you.</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Consideringly.</i>] Why—yes—that might do. But—well, it +wouldn't show. I've a notion to take it. [<i>Pause—she seems to consider +and meditate. The</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span> <i>stares at her coldly</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>grins impudently. +She rises leisurely, sighs.</i>] All right. I'll accept it.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sharply.</i>] Hold up your right hand. [<i>She raises hand.</i>] Do you +swear to accept deafness for better or for worse, as your portion of the +world's miseries, so help you God?</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Sweetly.</i>] Oh, yes. I do, Judge.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>.] Show the lady to the changing-room.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Escorts her to the curtained door with rather mock deference.</i>] +No, deafness won't show at all, and you'll have 'em all crazy about you. +[<i>Draws aside curtains for her to pass.</i>] Take second booth to your +right.<a name="page_072" id="page_072"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>stands posing a moment. She smiles radiantly and pats +her cheeks softly with her hands, then with a long-drawn sigh of +happiness, she exits.</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>bows low and mockingly after her +vanishing form, his hand on his heart</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] Do her faults or shortcomings trouble her? Not +at all! Perfectly satisfied with herself, except for a few wrinkles in +her face. Vain women! Bah!</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. Yes, sir; women have queer notions.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>An imperative rap at the street-door, immediately followed by the +rapper's abrupt entrance. We see an important-appearing personage. +His arrogant bearing and commanding pose lead us to believe that he +is accustomed to prompt attention. It is the</i> <span class="smcap">Rich Citizen</span>, +<i>exceedingly well groomed. His manner is lordly, but he addresses +the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span> <i>in a bored tone. When</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>scampers to meet him, the</i> +<span class="smcap">Rich Citizen</span> <i>hands him his hat and cane and turns at once to the</i> +<span class="smcap">Judge</span>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>examines the hat and cane critically, hangs them on the +hat-rack, and returns to his desk, where he again perches to watch +the</i> <span class="smcap">Rich Citizen</span>.</p></div> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Lighting a cigarette.</i>] I am addressing the Judge, am I +not?</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Shortly.</i>] You are.</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Languidly, between puffs of his cigarette.</i>] Well, +Judge, life has become rather boresome, so I thought I would drop in and +ask you to do me a small favor.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Wearily.</i>] Yes? We—What is your grievance?</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Nonchalantly.</i>] Oh, I wouldn't say grievance exactly. +You see, my dear Judge, it is this way. I am a very rich and influential +citizen, a prominent member of society, and I am very much sought after.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Frigidly.</i>] Oh, indeed!</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>In a very bored manner.</i>] Yes. Women run<a name="page_073" id="page_073"></a> after me day +and night. Ambitious mothers throw their marriageable daughters at my +head. Men seek my advice on all matters. I am compelled to head this and +that committee.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Smokes languidly.</i></p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sharply.</i>] Well, go on.</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. Really, Judge, my prestige has become a burden. I want to +get away from it all. I would like to become a plain, ordinary man with +an humble vocation, the humbler the better, so that people will cease +bothering me.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] Is your prestige all that troubles you? Don't +worry about your morals, I suppose. Satisfied with your habits and +character?</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Coldly.</i>] What have my habits or morals got to do with +my request? [<i>Scornfully.</i>] Certainly I am not one of your saintly men. +I live as a man of my station should live, and I think I measure up very +well with the best of them. I am simply bored and I would like a change. +I would like to be a plain man with an humble calling.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Ironically.</i>] I'll see what we have in humble callings. [<i>He +looks at the ledger, turning the leaves over slowly.</i>] We have several +bartenders' vocations.</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Wearily smoking.</i>] No. Too many people about all the +time, and too much noise.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. Well, here's a janitor's job open to you.</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Impatiently throwing away his cigarette.</i>] No. I don't +like that, either. Too confining. Too many people bickering at you all +the time. I want to get out in the open, away from crowds.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sighing, and turning over the leaves of the ledger, then +hopefully.</i>] Here's the very thing for you, then—postman in a rural +district.</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Showing vexation.</i>] No, no, <i>no</i>. Too many old women +that want to gossip. I tell you, I want to get away<a name="page_074" id="page_074"></a> from women. Haven't +you something peaceful and quiet; something that would take me out in +the quiet of the early morning, when the birds are singing?</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Closing ledger with a bang, and rising.</i>] Well, you're too +particular, and I have not time to bother with you. I bid you good +after——</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Slides from his desk, runs to railing, and speaks suavely.</i>] +Excuse me, Judge, but maybe the gentleman would like the vocation of +milkman. That is early-morning work. And, you remember, a milkman left +his job here when he took that old, worn-out senator's position.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sharply, to</i> <span class="smcap">Rich Citizen</span>.] Well, how about it? Does a +milkman's vocation suit you? It's early-morning hours, fresh air, and no +people about.</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Musingly.</i>] Well, the very simplicity and quietness of +it is its charm. It rather appeals to me. [<i>He ponders a moment.</i>] Yes, +by Jove, I'll take it.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Sternly.</i>] Hold up your right hand. "Do you solemnly swear to +accept, for better or for worse, the vocation of milkman as your lot in +life, so help you God?"</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. I do.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>.] Show this gentleman to the changing-room.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>While escorting him to the curtained door.</i>] Yes, sir, you will +lead the simple life. Fresh air, fresh milk, no people, just cows—and +they can't talk. [<i>Holding aside the curtains.</i>] Third booth, sir.</p> + +<p>R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Musingly.</i>] The simple life—peace and quietness.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Exit.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [I<i>n disgust.</i>] It's no use, Imp. They all cling to their vices, +but they are very keen to change some little cross or condition that +vexes them—or think vexes them.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. It's strange that people always want something different from what +they have.<a name="page_075" id="page_075"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>opens a drawer in his desk and takes out a bottle, evidently +filled with tablets, which he holds up, shaking it and chuckling. +He hunts in the drawer again, and this time brings forth a huge +ear-trumpet, which he chucklingly places an his table beside the +bottle of tablets.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. Don't let any more in, Imp. I can't stand another one to-day. I +am going to write a letter and then go home.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. All right, sir.</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. I am feeling very tired; what I really need is a vacation. A +sea-trip would put me right. By the way, Imp, where is that +transatlantic folder that I told you to get?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>picks up the folder from his desk and takes it to the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, +<i>who studies it attentively</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>returns to his own desk, where +he again looks in a drawer and brings forth a menu card, which he +glances over, grinning mischievously</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>The former</i> <span class="smcap">Poor Man</span> <i>re-enters from the changing-room. He is +well dressed, and taking a well-filled wallet from his pocket, he +looks at it gloatingly. However, from time to time, a shade of +annoyance passes over his face, and he puts his hand to the pit of +his stomach.</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>runs to meet him, and hands him the menu that he +has been reading</i>.</p></div> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. Here's a menu from the Gargoyle. Say, you sure do look swell!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Looking him over admiringly.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Grinning happily.</i>] Some class to me now, eh! +[<i>Looking at menu.</i>] And you watch me pick out a real dinner. [<i>Sits +down at left front.</i>] First, I'll have a cocktail, then—let's see—I'll +have—another cocktail. Next, oysters, and [<i>he frowns and presses his +hand to the pit of his stomach, keeping up a massaging +motion</i>]—green-turtle soup, sand dabs—chicken breasts—</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They become absorbed over the menu.</i></p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>re-enters from the changing-room. She now has a +smooth face, and she is looking at herself in a<a name="page_076" id="page_076"></a> hand-glass, +smiling and touching her face delightedly, She walks over to the +railing, and leans over it to the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span>. <i>He looks up +questioningly.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Smiling.</i>] Oh, I am so happy again. Am I not +beautiful?</p> + +<p>J<small>UDGE</small>. [<i>Pityingly.</i>] You are a vain, foolish woman.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Since she is deaf, she does not hear his words, but thinks he is +complimenting her. She smiles at him coyly.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. Ah, Judge, you too are susceptible to my charms.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, <i>in great exasperation, puts away his papers, thrusts +the transatlantic folder in his pocket, hastily closes his desk, +and hurries to the hat-rack, puts on his overcoat, slips his +skull-cap into his pocket and puts on his soft black hat. Then, +with a shrug of his shoulders and a wave of his hand indicative of +disgust, he slips quietly out.</i></p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>saunters past the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span>, <i>stops near +him, posing, and begins to put on her gloves. He looks at her +admiringly, then, getting to his feet, makes an elaborate but +awkward bow.</i></p></div> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. Excuse me, lady, but I've had a big piece of luck +to-day, and I want to celebrate, so I am having a big dinner. Won't you +join me and help me have a good time?</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Looking at him blankly, and trying to fathom what he has +said.</i>] Oh—why, what did you say?</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Hesitating, and a bit surprised.</i>] Why—er—I said +that I had a big piece of luck to-day, and I am going to celebrate. I am +having a fine dinner, and I just asked if—if—you wouldn't have dinner +with me.</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Still looking blank and a little confused, then smiling +archly and acting as though she had been hearing compliments, she speaks +affectedly.</i>] Really, do you think so? [<i>Looking down and smoothing her +dress.</i>] But, then, every one tells me that I am.<a name="page_077" id="page_077"></a></p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Puzzled, turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>for help</i>.] Just what is her +trouble, Nut?</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Secretly gleeful.</i>] She is stone-deaf. You had better write it.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. Never! No deaf ones for me.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Turns away and consults menu again.</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>poses and +frequently looks in hand-glass to reassure herself</i>.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>re-enters from the changing-room. He is +dressed in shabby overalls, jumper, and an old hat. He has a pipe +in his mouth. He walks arrogantly over to the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span> <i>and +addresses him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. Give me a light.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Trying to live up to his fine clothes and wallet full +of money, looks the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>over snubbingly</i>.] Say, who do +you think you are? You light out, see?</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Very much surprised, stands nonplussed a +moment.</i>] Well, upon my word, I—I——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He stops short in his speech, walks haughtily over to the +railing, where he stands glowering at the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span>. <i>The</i> +<span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span> <i>starts for the street door, but</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>runs after +him, waving the bottle of tablets</i>.</p></div> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. I'll sell you these for two bits.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. What is that?</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Grinning.</i>] Indigestion tablets.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Puts his hand to his stomach and laughs a little +lamely.</i>] Keep 'em; I don't need 'em.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>fastens her fur and starts for the street-door, giving +the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>a snubbing look as she passes him</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> +<i>stops her and offers the ear-trumpet</i>.</p></div> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. You might need this; I'll sell it for a dollar.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She does not hear what he says, but she looks her scorn at the +ear-trumpet and walks proudly out.</i></p></div> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Fumbling at his pocket, as if to find a watch.</i>] +Boy, what time is it? I haven't my watch.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Grinning mischievously.</i>] Time to milk the cows.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>starts angrily toward</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>, <i>then +evidently thinking better of it, shrugs his shoulders and stalks +majestically to the street-door. He pauses with it partly open, +turns as if to speak to</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>, <i>drawing himself up haughtily—a +ludicrous figure in his shabby outfit—then he goes abruptly out, +slamming the door</i>.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>doubles himself up in a paroxysm of glee as the curtain +falls</i>.</p></div> + +<h3>SCENE II</h3> + +<p class="hang"><i>A fortnight has passed. The curtain rises upon the same +stage-setting. The</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span> <i>is not about, but we see</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>asleep in +a chair. All seems quiet and serene. But suddenly the street-door +opens noisily, and the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span> <i>bursts into the room. He +is panting, as though he had been running. He is haggard and seems +in great pain, for occasionally he moans. He looks wildly about the +room, and seeing</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>asleep in the chair, he rushes to him and +shakes him roughly</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>wakes slowly, yawning and rubbing his +eyes</i>.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Frantically.</i>] The Judge, where is he? I must see him +at once.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Yawning.</i>] You're too early. He isn't down yet.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Settles himself to go to sleep again.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Walking the floor, and holding his hands to his +stomach.</i>] Don't go to sleep again. I'm nearly crazy. What time does the +Judge get here? Where does he live? Can't we send for him?</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Indifferently.</i>] Oh, he is liable to come any minute—and then he +may not come for an hour or two.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Pacing the floor, moaning and rubbing<a name="page_079" id="page_079"></a> his stomach</i>.] +Oh, I can't stand it much longer. It's driving me wild, I tell you. I do +wish the Judge would come.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Getting up from his chair and keeping step with the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor +Man</span>.] What's the matter? I thought all you wanted was to eat, drink, and +be merry.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Frantically waving his arms.</i>] Eat, drink, and be +merry be——! Everything I eat gives me indigestion something awful; +everything I drink gives it to me worse. How can I be merry when I am in +this torment all the time? I tell you this pain is driving me mad. I +want to get rid of it quick. Oh, why doesn't the Judge come?</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. What's the Judge got to do with it?</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Pathetically.</i>] I am going to beg him to take back +this indigestion and give me back my poverty. It was not so bad, after +all; not nearly so bad as this pain in my stomach.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The street-door opens slowly, and a sorrowful woman enters. She +is weeping softly. It is the</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span>. <i>Gone is her posing and +her proud manner. She walks humbly to the railing, and not seeing +the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, she turns to <span class="smcap">Imp</span>. <i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span> <i>looks at the</i> +<span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span>, <i>frowningly muttering: "What's she here for?" Then he +sits down at the left and rocks back and forth in misery.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Tearfully.</i>] I must see the Judge right away, please.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [Languidly.] He isn't down yet. You're too earl——</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Interrupting.</i>] Tell him that it is very important, that I +am in great distress and that he must see me at once.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Loudly.</i>] I said that he was not down yet.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Seeing that she does not understand, he takes a writing-pad from +his desk, scribbles a few words, and standing in front of her, +holds it up for her to read.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>After reading.</i>] Oh, when will he be here? Can't you get +him to come right away? Oh, I am so unhappy. </p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She walks the floor in +agitation.</i></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span> <i>grunts in irritation and turns his back on +her</i>.</p></div> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. I cannot hear a word that is said to me. No one seems to +want me around, and I am not invited out any more. I have the feeling +that people are making fun of me instead of praising my beauty. Oh, it +is dreadful to be deaf. [<i>Getting hysterical.</i>] I want the Judge to take +away this deafness. I would rather have my wrinkles.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>shakes his head in pretended sympathy, saying: "Too bad, too +bad."</i></p> + +<p>[<i>She misunderstands and cries out.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. Has the Judge given away my wrinkles? I want them back. I +want my very own wrinkles, too. Wrinkles are distinguished-looking. +[<i>Beginning to sob.</i>] I don't want to be deaf any longer.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Running over to the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span>.] Say, this lady feels very +bad. Can't you cheer her up a little?</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Who is still rocking back and forth with his own +misery, looks up at</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>in disgust</i>.] Cheer—her—up! Me? What's the +joke?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>walks to the curtained door, looks in as if +seeking something, then returns to a chair, where she sits, weeping +softly</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>A peculiar thumping is heard at the street-door. The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor +Man</span> <i>jumps to his feet in expectancy, hoping it is the</i> <span class="smcap">Judge</span>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span>, +<i>also, stands waiting. The door opens as though the person that +opened it did so with difficulty. The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>hobbles +in. He is ragged and dirty, and one foot is bandaged, which causes +him to use a crutch. He carries a large milk-can. He hobbles +painfully to the centre of the stage. The</i> <span class="smcap">Former</span><a name="page_081" id="page_081"></a> <span class="smcap">Poor Man</span> <i>grunts +with disappointment, and sits down again, rubbing away at his +stomach. The</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>sits with bowed head, silently weeping. +The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>looks about, then addresses</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>in a +rather husky voice</i>.</p></div> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. I wish to see the Judge at once. It is most urgent.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>With an ill-concealed smile.</i>] You can't see the Judge at once.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Impatiently.</i>] Why not? I told you it was most +urgent.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Grinning openly.</i>] Because he isn't here. He hasn't come in yet. +What's your trouble?</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Vehemently.</i>] Trouble! Everything's the trouble! +I have been abused, insulted, overworked—even the cows have kicked me. +[<i>Looking down at his bandaged foot.</i>] I can't stand it. I won't stand +it. I want back my proper place in the world, where I am respected, and +where I can rest and sleep and mingle with my kind. </p> + +<p class="r">[<i>He hobbles to a +chair and sits down wearily.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Getting up from his chair, walks over to the</i> <span class="smcap">Former +Rich Citizen</span>, <i>waggles his finger in his face and speaks fretfully</i>.] +What cause have you to squeal so? If you had indigestion like I have all +the time, you might be entitled to raise a holler. Why, I can't eat a +thing without having the most awful pain right here [<i>puts his hand to +the pit of his stomach</i>], and when I take a drink, oh, heavens, it——</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Interrupting contemptuously.</i>] You big baby, +howling about the stomachache. If you had a man-sized trouble, there +might be some excuse for you. Now I, who have been used to wealth and +respect, have been subjected to the most gruelling ordeals; why, in that +dairy there were a million cows, and they kicked me, and horned me, and +I——</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>Walks over to them, interrupting their talk,<a name="page_082" id="page_082"></a> and speaks +in a voice punctuated with sniffing sobs.</i>] Have—[<i>sniff</i>] either of +you gentlemen [<i>sniff</i>] ever been deaf? [<i>Sniff, sniff.</i>] It is a +terrible thing [<i>sniff</i>] for a beautiful woman like I am [<i>sniff</i>] to +have such an affliction. </p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Sniff, sniff, sniff.</i></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>shrugs his shoulders indifferently and limps +to the other side of the stage, where he sits</i>.</p></div> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Stalks over to the railing, where he leans limply.</i>] +Lord deliver me from a sniffling woman.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span>, <i>who is perched on his desk, chuckles wickedly of their +sufferings</i>. <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>sinks dejectedly into the chair vacated by +the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span>.</p> + +<p>[<i>A knock is heard at the street-door. The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span> <i>and +the</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>start forward eagerly, expecting the</i> +<span class="smcap">Judge</span>. <i>Even the</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span>, <i>seeing the others rise, gets to her +feet hopefully</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>hastily slides from his desk and, pulling +down his tight little jacket and cocking his round little cap a +little more over one eye, goes to see who knocks. A messenger hands +him a letter and silently departs.</i></p></div> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Importantly.</i>] Letter for me from the Judge.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. A letter! Why doesn't he come himself?</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. Send for him, boy.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Grins at</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>in an insolent manner</i>.] Well, +well, I wonder what the Judge is writing to me for. It's queer he would +send me a letter.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He looks the letter over carefully, both sides; holds it up to +the light, smells it, shakes it. The two men and the woman grow +more and more nervous.</i></p></div> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Extremely irritated.</i>] For goodness' sake, open it +and read it.</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. Yes, yes, and don't be so long about it.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span> <i>simply stands pathetically and waits</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span><a name="page_083" id="page_083"></a> <i>walks +over to his desk, hunts for a knife, finally finds one; looks +letter over again, then slowly slits the envelope and draws out +letter, which he reads silently to himself. They are breathlessly +waiting.</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>whistles softly to himself</i>.</p></div> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. Well, what do you think of that!</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>Excitedly.</i>] What is it—why don't you tell us?</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Pounding with his crutch on the floor.</i>] Come, +come, don't keep me waiting like this.</p> + +<p>I<small>MP</small>. [<i>Reads letter again, silently, chuckling.</i>] All right. Here it is. +[<i>Reads.</i>]</p> + +<p class="nind">"<span class="smcap">My dear Imp</span>:</p> + +<p>"I have tried faithfully for years to aid distressed humanity, but +they are an ungrateful lot of fools, and I wash my hands of them. +When this letter reaches you I will be on the high seas, and I am +never coming back. So write 'Finis' in the big old ledger of +miseries, and shut up shop, for the Exchange is closed—forever.</p> + +<p class="r"><span style="margin-right: 10%;">Yours in disgust,</span> T<small>HE</small> J<small>UDGE</small>."</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They all stand dazed a moment. The</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span>, <i>sensing that +something terrible has happened, rushes from one to the other, +saying: "What is it? What has happened?"</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>gives her the letter +to read</i>.</p></div> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> P<small>OOR</small> M<small>AN</small>. [<i>In a perfect frenzy.</i>] My God! Indigestion all the +rest of my days.</p> + +<p>V<small>AIN</small> W<small>OMAN</small>. [<i>After reading letter collapses in a chair, hysterically +sobbing out.</i>] Deaf, always deaf! Oh, what shall I do!</p> + +<p>F<small>ORMER</small> R<small>ICH</small> C<small>ITIZEN</small>. [<i>Leaning heavily on his crutch and shaking his +free hand, clenched in anger.</i>] This is an outrage. I am rich and have +influence, and I shall take steps to—to——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>laughs mockingly. The man looks down at his milk-spattered +clothes, his bandaged foot, and, letting his crutch<a name="page_084" id="page_084"></a> fall to the +floor, sinks dejectedly into a chair, burying his face in his +hands.</i></p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>dangles his keys and opens the street-door, as an invitation +for them to go. The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span> <i>is the first to start, moving +dazedly and breathing hard</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>offers him the bottle of +indigestion tablets; the man grasps them, eagerly, tipping</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>, +<i>who chuckles as he pockets the money. The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Poor Man</span> <i>takes +a tablet as he exits. The</i> <span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span>, <i>bowed with sorrow, moves +slowly toward the door</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>touches her arm and offers the +ear-trumpet. She accepts it, with a wild sob, tipping</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span>, <i>who +again chuckles as he pockets the money. The last we see of the</i> +<span class="smcap">Vain Woman</span>, <i>she is trying to hold the ear-trumpet to her ear, and +exits, sobbing. The</i> <span class="smcap">Former Rich Citizen</span> <i>still sits in his chair, +his head in his hands</i>. <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>picks up the milk-can, and, tapping +the man not too gently on the shoulder, thrusts the milk-can at him +and makes a significant gesture, indicative of</i>—<span class="smcap">This Way Out</span>. <i>The +man rises dejectedly, picks up his crutch, takes the milk-can, and +hobbles painfully toward the door.</i> <span class="smcap">Imp</span> <i>doubles himself up in wild +Mephistophelian glee as the</i></p></div> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN FALLS</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_085" id="page_085"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +SAM AVERAGE<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +<br /> +PERCY MACKAYE</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>Sam Average</i> is reprinted by special permission of Percy Mackaye. This +play first appeared in <i>Yankee Fantasies</i>, Duffield & Company, New York.</p> + +<p class="c"><i>Special Notice</i></p> + +<p>No public or private performance of this play—professional or +amateur—and no public reading of it for money may be given without the +written permission of the author and the payment of royalty. Persons who +desire to obtain such permission should communicate direct with the +author at his address, Harvard Club, 27 West 44th Street, New York +City.</p></div> + +<p><a name="page_086" id="page_086"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_087" id="page_087"></a></p> + +<p class="cb">PERCY MACKAYE</p> + +<p>Percy Mackaye, who was born in New York City in 1875, is one of the few +Americans whose interest has been almost wholly in the theatre. As a +lecturer, writer, and champion of real art in drama, he has had few if +any equals. He inherited his interest in drama from his father, Steele +Mackaye, author of <i>Hazel Kirke</i>. He was educated at Harvard, where he +studied under Professor George Pierce Baker, and at Leipzig. He has +travelled extensively in Europe and at various times has resided in +Rome, Switzerland, and London. In 1914 Dartmouth conferred upon him the +honorary Master of Arts degree. At present he holds a fellowship in +dramatic literature in Miami University, Oxford, Ohio.</p> + +<p>Mr. Mackaye's efforts in the dramatic field have been varied. Masques, +pageants, operas, and plays are to his credit. <i>The Canterbury +Pilgrims</i>, <i>The Scarecrow</i>, <i>Jeanne D'Arc</i>, <i>Mater</i>, <i>Anti-Matrimony</i>, +<i>Sanctuary</i>, <i>Saint Louis Masque</i>, and <i>Caliban</i> are among his +better-known works.</p> + +<p>In 1912 appeared his Yankee Fantasies, of which <i>Sam Average</i> and +<i>Gettysburg</i> are the more noteworthy.</p> + +<p>In all of Mr. Mackaye's work he possesses what many dramatists lack—a +definite ideal. He aims at an artistic and literary effect. His <i>Sam +Average</i> is a real contribution to American patriotic drama.<a name="page_088" id="page_088"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Andrew</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Joel</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Ellen</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Sam Average</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_089" id="page_089"></a></p> + +<h2>SAM AVERAGE<a name="FNanchor_D_4" id="FNanchor_D_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_D_4" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[D]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang"><i>An intrenchment in Canada, near Niagara Falls, in the year 1814. +Night, shortly before dawn.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>On the right, the dull glow of a smouldering wood fire ruddies the +earthen embankment, the low-stretched outline of which forms, with +darkness, the scenic background.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Near the centre, left, against the dark, a flag with stars floats +from its standard.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Beside the fire</i>, <span class="smcap">Andrew</span>, <i>reclined, gazes at a small frame in his +hand; near him is a knapsack, with contents emptied beside it</i>.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>On the embankment</i>, <span class="smcap">Joel</span>, <i>with a gun, paces back and forth, a +blanket thrown about his shoulders</i>.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>With a singing call.</i>] Four o'clock!—All's well!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Jumping down from the embankment, he approaches the fire.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. By God, Joel, it's bitter.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Rubbing his hands over the coals.</i>] A mite sharpish.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Looks up eagerly.</i>] What?</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Cuts sharp, for Thanksgivin'.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Sinks back, gloomily.</i>] Oh! [<i>A pause.</i>] I wondered you should +agree with me. You meant the weather. I meant—</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>A pause again.</i></p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Well, Andy, what'd you mean?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Life.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Shucks!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>To himself.</i>] Living!<a name="page_090" id="page_090"></a></p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Sauntering over left, listens.</i>] Hear a rooster crow?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. No. What are you doing?</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Tiltin' the flag over crooked in the dirt. That's our signal.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Nothing could be more appropriate, unless we buried it—buried +it in the dirt!</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. She's to find us where the flag's turned down. I fixed that with +the sergeant all right. The rooster crowin' 's <i>her</i> watchword for us.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. An eagle screaming, Joel: that would have been better. +[<i>Rising.</i>] Ah!</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>He laughs painfully.</i></p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Hush up, Andy! The nearest men ain't two rods away. You'll wake +'em. Pitch it low.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Don't be alarmed. I'm coward enough.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. 'Course, though, there ain't much danger. I'm sentinel this end, +and the sergeant has the tip at t'other. Besides, you may call it the +reg'lar thing. There's been two thousand deserters already in this +tuppenny-ha'penny war, and none on 'em the worse off. When a man don't +get his pay for nine months—well, he ups and takes his vacation. Why +not? When Nell joins us, we'll hike up the Niagara, cross over to +Tonawanda, and take our breakfast in Buffalo. By that time the boys here +will be marchin' away toward Lundy's Lane.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Walks back and forth, shivering.</i>] I'm afraid.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. 'Fraid? Bosh!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. I'm afraid to face——</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Face what? We won't get caught.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Your sister—my wife.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Nell! Why, ain't she comin' here just a-purpose to get you? Ain't +there reason enough, Lord knows? Ain't you made up your mind to light +out home anyhow?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Yes. That's just what she'll never forgive me for. In her heart +she'll never think of me the same. For she knows as well as I what +pledge I'll be breaking—what sacred pledge.<a name="page_091" id="page_091"></a></p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. What you mean?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. No matter, no matter; this is gush.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He returns to the fire and begins to fumble over the contents of +his knapsack.</i> <span class="smcap">Joel</span> <i>watches him idly</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. One of <i>her</i> curls?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Looking at a lock of hair in the firelight.</i>] No; the baby's, +little Andy's. Some day they'll tell him how his father——</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>He winces, +and puts the lock away.</i></p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Going toward the embankment.</i>] Listen!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Ties up the package, muttering.</i>] Son of a traitor!</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Tiptoeing back.</i>] It's crowed—that's her.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Leaping to his feet</i>, <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>stares toward the embankment where +the flag is dipped; then turns his back to it, closing his eyes and +gripping his hands</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>After a pause, silently the figure of a young woman emerges from +the dark and stands on the embankment. She is bareheaded and ill +clad.</i></p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Joel</span> <i>touches</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span>, <i>who turns and looks toward her. Silently +she steals down to him and they embrace</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. My Nell!</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. Nearly a year——</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Now, at last!</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. Hold me close, Andy.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. You're better?</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. Let's forget—just for now.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Is he grown much?</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. Grown? You should see him! But so ill! What could I do? You +see——</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. I know, I know.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. The money was all gone. They turned me out at the old place, and +then——</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. I know, dear.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. I got sewing, but when the smallpox——<a name="page_092" id="page_092"></a></p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. I have all your letters, Nell. Come, help me to pack.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. What! You're really decided——</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Approaching.</i>] Hello, Sis!</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Absently.</i>] Ah, Joel; that you? [<i>Eagerly, following</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> +<i>to the knapsack</i>.] But, my dear——</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Just these few things, and we're off.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Agitated.</i>] Wait, wait! You don't know yet why I've +come—instead of writing.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. I can guess.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. But you can't; that's—what's so hard! I have to tell you +something, and then—— [<i>Slowly.</i>] I must know from your own eyes, from +yourself, that you wish to do this, Andrew; that you think it is +<i>right</i>.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Gently.</i>] I guessed that.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. This is what I must tell you. It's not just the sickness, it's +not only the baby, not the money gone—and all that; it's—it's——</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Murmurs.</i>] My God!</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. It's what all that brings—the helplessness. I've been insulted. +Andy—[<i>Her voice breaks.</i>] I want a protector.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Taking her in his arms, where she sobs.</i>] There, dear!</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>With a low moan.</i>] You know.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. I know. Come, now; we'll go.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Her face lighting up.</i>] Oh! and you <i>dare</i>! It's <i>right</i>?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Moving from her, with a hoarse laugh.</i>] <i>Dare?</i> Dare I be +damned by God and all his angels? Ha! Come, we're slow.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Time enough.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Sinking upon</i> <span class="smcap">Joel's</span> <i>knapsack as a seat, leans her head on her +hands, and looks strangely at</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span>.] I'd better have written, I'm +afraid.<a name="page_093" id="page_093"></a></p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Controlling his emotion.</i>] Now, don't take it that way. I've +considered it all.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>With deep quiet.</i>] Blasphemously?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Reasonably, my brave wife. When I enlisted, I did so in a dream. +I dreamed I was called to love and serve our country. But that dream is +shattered. This sordid war, this political murder, has not one single +principle of humanity to excuse its bloody sacrilege. It doesn't deserve +my loyalty—our loyalty.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. Are you saying this—for my sake? What of "God and his angels"?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Not looking at her.</i>] If we had a just cause—a cause of +liberty like that in Seventy-six; if to serve one's country meant to +serve God and his angels—then, yes; a man might put away wife and +child. He might say: "I will not be a husband, a father; I will be a +patriot." But now—like this—tangled in a web of spiders—caught in a +grab-net of politicians—and you, you and our baby-boy, like this—hell +let in on our home—no, Country be cursed!</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Slowly.</i>] So, then, when little Andy grows up——</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Groaning.</i>] I say that the only thing——</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. I am to tell him——</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Defiantly.</i>] Tell him his father deserted his country, and +thanked God for the chance. [<i>Looking about him passionately.</i>] Here! +[<i>He tears a part of the flag from its standard, and reaches it toward +her.</i>] You're cold; put this round you.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>As he is putting the strip of colored silk about her shoulders, +there rises, faint yet close by, a sound of fifes and flutes, +playing the merry march-strains of "Yankee Doodle."</i></p> + +<p>[<i>At the same time there enters along the embankment, dimly, +enveloped in a great cloak, a tall</i> <span class="smcap">Figure</span>, <i>which pauses beside +the standard of the torn flag, silhouetted against the first pale +streaks of the dawn</i>.</p></div> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Gazing at</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span>.] What's the matter?<a name="page_094" id="page_094"></a></p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Listening.</i>] Who are they? Where is it?</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Starts, alertly.</i>] He hears something.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Why should they play before daybreak?</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. Andy——</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Whispers.</i>] Ssh! Look out! We're spied on!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He points to the embankment.</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen</span> <i>draw back</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>Straightening the flag-standard, and leaning on it.</i>] +Desartin'?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Puts</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen</span> <i>behind him</i>.] Who's there? The watchword!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. God save the smart folks!</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span>.] He's on to us. Pickle him quiet, or it's court +martial! [<i>Showing a long knife.</i>] Shall I give him this?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Taking it from him.</i>] No. <i>I</i> will.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Seizing his arm.</i>] Andrew!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Let go.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">The Figure</span>, <i>descending into the intrenchment, approaches with +face muffled</i>. <span class="smcap">Joel</span> <i>draws</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen</span> <i>away</i>. <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>moves toward</i> <span class="smcap">the +Figure</span> <i>slowly</i>. <i>They meet and pause.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. You're a spy!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>With a quick flash,</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>raises the knife to strike, but +pauses, staring</i>. <span class="smcap">The Figure</span>, <i>throwing up one arm to ward the +blow, reveals—through the parted cloak—a glint of stars in the +firelight</i>.<a name="FNanchor_E_5" id="FNanchor_E_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_E_5" class="fnanchor">[E]</a></p></div> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Steady, boys; I'm one of ye. The sergeant told me to drop +round.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Oh, the sergeant! That's all right, then.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Dropping the knife.</i>] Who are you?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Who be <i>I</i>? My name, ye mean? My name's<a name="page_095" id="page_095"></a> Average—Sam +Average. Univarsal Sam, some o' my prophetic friends calls me.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. What are you doing here—now?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Oh, tendin' to business.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Tendin' to <i>other</i> folks' business, eh?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>With a touch of weariness.</i>] Ye-es; reckon that <i>is</i> my +business. Some other folks is me.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Grimacing to</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen</span>.] Cracked!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span>.] You're a mite back'ard in wages, ain't ye?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Nine months. What of that?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. That's what I dropped round for. Seems like when a man's +endoored and fit, like you have, for his country, and calc'lates he'll +quit, he ought to be takin' a little suthin' hom' for Thanksgivin'. So I +fetched round your pay.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. My pay! You?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Yes; I'm the paymaster.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Coming forward, eagerly.</i>] Andy! The money, is it?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>Bows with a grave, old-fashioned stateliness.</i>] Your +sarvent, ma'am!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Speaking low.</i>] Keep back, Nell. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">The Figure</span>.] You—you +were saying——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. I were about to say how gold bein' scarce down to the +Treasury, I fetched ye some s'curities instead; some national I.O.U.'s, +as ye might say. [<i>He takes out an old powder-horn, and rattles it +quietly.</i>] That's them. [<i>Pouring from the horn into his palm some +glistening, golden grains.</i>] Here they be.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Peering, with</i> <span class="smcap">Joel</span>.] Gold, Andy!</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>With a snigger.</i>] Gold—nothin'! That's corn—just Injun corn. +Ha!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>Bowing gravely.</i>] It's the quality, ma'am, what counts, as +ye might say.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Behind his hand.</i>] His top-loft leaks!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. These here karnels, now, were give' me down<a name="page_096" id="page_096"></a> Plymouth way, +in Massachusetts, the fust Thanksgivin' seems like I can remember. +'Twa'n't long after the famine we had thar. Me bein' some hungry, the +red-folks fetched a hull-lot o' this round, with the compliments of +their capting—what were his name now?—Massasoit. This here's the last +handful on't left. Thought ye might like some, bein' Thanksgivin'.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>In a low voice, to</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen</span>.] His screws are droppin' out. Come +and pack. We've got to mark time and skip.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>Without looking at</i> <span class="smcap">Joel</span>.] Eight or ten minutes still to +spare, boys. The sergeant said—wait till ye hear his jew's-harp playin' +of that new war tune, <i>The Star-Spangled Banner</i>. Then ye'll know the +coast's clear.</p> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Gad, that's right, I remember now.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He draws</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen</span> <i>away to the knapsack, which they begin to pack</i>. +<span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>has never removed his eyes from the tall form in the +cloak</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>Now, as</i> <span class="smcap">The Figure</span> <i>pours back the yellow grains from his palm +into the powder-horn, he speaks, hesitatingly</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. I think—I'd like some.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Some o' what?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Those—my pay.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>Cheerfully.</i>] So. <i>Would</i> ye? [<i>Handing him the horn.</i>] +Reckon that's enough?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Not taking it.</i>] That's what I want to make sure of—first.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Oh! So ye're hesitatin'!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Yes; but I want you to help me decide. Pardon me, sir. You're a +stranger, yet somehow I feel I may ask your help. You've come just in +time.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Queer I should a-dropped round jest now, wa'n't it? S'posin' +we take a turn.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Together they walk toward the embankment. By the knapsack</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen</span> +<i>finds the little frame</i>.</p></div> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>To herself.</i>] My picture!<a name="page_097" id="page_097"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She looks toward</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>affectionately</i>. <span class="smcap">Joel</span>, <i>lifting the +knapsack, beckons to her</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. There's more stuff over here.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>He goes off, right</i>; <span class="smcap">Ellen</span> <i>follows him</i>.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">The Figure</span>.] I should like the judgment of your +experience, sir. I can't quite see your face, yet you appear to be one +who has had a great deal of experience.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Why, consid'able some.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Did you—happen to fight in the late war for independence?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Happen to? [<i>Laughing quietly.</i>] N-no, not fight; ye see—I +was paymaster.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. But you went through the war?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Ye-es, oh, yes; I went through it. I took out my fust +reg'lar papers down to Philadelphie, in '76, seems like 'twas the fourth +day o' July. But I was paymaster afore that.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Tell me: I've heard it said there were deserters even in those +days, even from the roll-call of Washington. Is it true?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. True, boy? Have ye ever watched a prairie-fire rollin' +toward ye, billowin' with flame and smoke, and seed all the midget +cowerin' prairie-dogs scootin' for their holes? Wall, that's the way I +watched Howe's army sweepin' crosst the Jarsey marshes, and seed the +desartin' little patriots, with their chins over their shoulders, +skedaddlin' home'ards.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. What—the Americans!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. All but a handful on 'em—them as weren't canines, ye might +say, but men. <i>They</i> set a back-fire goin' at Valley Forge. Most on 'em +burnt their toes and fingers off, lightin' on't thar in the white frost, +but they stuck it through and saved—wall, the prairie-dogs.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. But they—those others. What reason did they give to God and +their own souls for deserting?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. To who?<a name="page_098" id="page_098"></a></p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. To their consciences. What was their reason? It must have been a +noble one in '76. <i>Their</i> reason <i>then</i>; don't you see, I must have it. +I must know what reason real heroes gave for their acts. You were there. +You can tell me.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. <i>Real</i> heroes, eh? Look around ye, then. To-day's the heroic +age, and the true brand o' hero is al'ays in the market. Look around ye!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. What, here—in this war of jobsters, this petty campaign of +monstrous boodle?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Thar we be!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Why, here are only a lot of cowardly half-men, like me—lovers +of their own folks—their wives and babies at home. They'll make +sacrifices for them. But real men like our fathers in '76: they looked +in the beautiful face of Liberty, and sacrificed to <i>her</i>!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Our fathers, my boy, was jest as fond o' poetry as you be. +They talked about the beautiful face o' Liberty same's you; but when the +hom'made eyes and cheeks of their sweethearts and young uns took to +cryin', they desarted their beautiful goddess and skun out hom'.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. But there were some——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Thar was some as didn't—yes; and thar's some as don't +to-day. Those be the folks on my pay-roll. Why, look a-here: I calc'late +I wouldn't fetch much on the beauty counter. My talk ain't rhyme stuff, +nor the Muse o' Grammar wa'n't my schoolma'am. Th' ain't painter nor +clay-sculptor would pictur' me jest like I stand. For the axe has hewed +me, and the plough has furrered; and the arnin' of gold by my own +elbow-grease has give' me the shrewd eye at a bargain. I manure my crops +this side o' Jordan, and as for t'other shore, I'd ruther swap jokes +with the Lord than listen to his sarmons. And yet for the likes o' me, +jest for to arn my wages—ha, the many, many boys and gals that's gone +to their grave-beds, and when I a-closed their eyes, the love-light was +shinin' thar.<a name="page_099" id="page_099"></a></p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Who has listened with awe.</i>] What <i>are</i> you? What <i>are</i> you?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Me? I'm the paymaster.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. I want to serve you—like those others.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Slow, slow, boy! Nobody sarves <i>me</i>.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. But they died for you—the others.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. No, 'twa'n't for me; 'twas for him as pays the wages; the +one as works through me—the one higher up. I'm only the paymaster; kind +of a needful makeshift—his obedient sarvant.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>With increasing curiosity, seeks to peer in</i> <span class="smcap">The Figure's</span> +<i>face</i>.] But the one up higher—who is he?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>Turning his head away.</i>] Would ye sarve him, think, if ye +heerd his voice?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Ardently, drawing closer.</i>] And saw his face!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Drawing his cowl lower and taking</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew's</span> <i>arm</i>, <span class="smcap">The Figure</span> +<i>leads him up on the embankment, where they stand together</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Hark a-yonder!</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Listening.</i>] Is it thunder?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Have ye forgot?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. The voice! I remember now—Niagara!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>With awe</i>, <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>looks toward</i> <span class="smcap">The Figure</span>, <i>who stands shrouded +and still, facing the dawn. From far off comes a sound as of +falling waters, and with that—a deep murmurous voice, which seems +to issue from</i> <span class="smcap">The Figure's</span> <i>cowl</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> V<small>OICE</small>. I am the Voice that was heard of your fathers, and your +fathers' fathers. Mightier—mightier, I shall be heard of your sons. I +am the Million in whom the one is lost, and I am the One in whom the +millions are saved. Their ears shall be shut to my thunders, their eyes +to my blinding stars. In shallow streams they shall tap my life-blood +for gold. With dregs of coal and of copper they shall pollute me. In the +mystery of my<a name="page_100" id="page_100"></a> mountains they shall assail me; in the majesty of my +forests, strike me down; with engine and derrick and millstone, bind me +their slave. Some for a lust, some for a love, shall desert me. One and +one, for his own, shall fall away. Yet one and one and one shall return +to me for life; the deserter and the destroyer shall re-create me. +Primeval, their life-blood is mine. My pouring waters are passion, my +lightnings are laughter of man. I am the One in whom the millions are +saved, and I am the Million in whom the one is lost.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Yearningly, to</i> <span class="smcap">The Figure</span>.] Your face!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">The Figure</span> <i>turns majestically away</i>. <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>clings to him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. Your face!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>In the shadow of the flag</i> <span class="smcap">The Figure</span> <i>unmuffles for an instant</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>Peering, dazzled</i>, <span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>staggers back, with a low cry, and, +covering his eyes, falls upon the embankment</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>From away, left, the thrumming of a jew's-harp is heard, playing +"The Star-Spangled Banner."</i></p> + +<p>[<i>From the right enter</i> <span class="smcap">Joel</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen</span>.</p> + +<p>[<i>Descending from the embankment</i>, <span class="smcap">The Figure</span> <i>stands apart</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Well, Colonel Average, time's up.</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Seeing</i> <span class="smcap">Andrew's</span> <i>prostrate form, hastens to him</i>.] Andy! +What's happened?</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Rising slowly.</i>] Come here. I'll whisper it.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He leads her beside the embankment, beyond which the dawn is +beginning to redden.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. Yonder's the sergeant's jew's-harp. That's our signal, Nell. So +long, colonel.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. [<i>Nodding.</i>] So long, sonny.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Holding</i> <span class="smcap">Ellen's</span> <i>hands, passionately</i>.] You understand? You +<i>do</i>?</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>Looking in his eyes.</i>] I understand, dear.<a name="page_101" id="page_101"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They kiss each other.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>OEL</small>. [<i>Calls low.</i>] Come, you married turtles. The road's clear. Follow +me now. Sneak.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Carrying his knapsack</i>, <span class="smcap">Joel</span> <i>climbs over the embankment and +disappears</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>The thrumming of the jew's-harp continues.</i></p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Ellen</span>, <i>taking the strip of silk flag from her shoulders, ties it +to the standard</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Faintly.</i>] God bless you!</p> + +<p>E<small>LLEN</small>. [<i>As they part hands.</i>] Good-by!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">The Figure</span> <i>has remounted the embankment, where—in the distincter +glow of the red dawn—the gray folds of his cloak, hanging from his +shoulders, resemble the half-closed wings of an eagle, the beaked +cowl falling, as a kind of visor, before his face, concealing it</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Come, little gal.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Ellen</span> <i>goes to him, and hides her face in the great cloak. As she +does so, he draws from it a paper, writes on it, and hands it to</i> +<span class="smcap">Andrew</span>, <i>with the powder-horn</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. By the by, Andy, here's that s'curity. Them here's my +initials; they're all what's needful. Jest file this in the right +pigeonhole, and you'll draw your pay. Keep your upper lip, boy. I'll +meet ye later, mebbe, at Lundy's Lane.</p> + +<p>A<small>NDREW</small>. [<i>Wistfully.</i>] You'll take her home?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> F<small>IGURE</small>. Yes; reckon she'll housekeep for your uncle till you get +back; won't ye, Nellie? Come, don't cry, little gal. We'll soon git +'quainted. 'Tain't the fust time sweethearts has called me <i>Uncle</i>.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Flinging back his great cloak, he throws one wing of it, with his +arm, about her shoulders, thus with half its reverse side draping +her with shining stripes and stars. By the same action his own +figure is made partly visible—the legs clad in the tight, +instep-strapped trousers (blue and white) of the Napoleonic era. +Holding the girl gently to him—<a name="page_102" id="page_102"></a>while her face turns back toward</i> +<span class="smcap">Andrew</span>—<i>he leads her, silhouetted against the sunrise, along the +embankment, and disappears</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>Meantime, the thrumming twang of the jew's-harp grows sweeter, +mellower, modulated with harmonies that, filling now the air with +elusive strains of the American war-hymn, mingle with the faint +dawn-twitterings of birds.</i></p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Andrew</span> <i>stares silently after the departed forms; then, slowly +coming down into the intrenchment, lifts from the ground his gun +and ramrod, leans on the gun, and—reading the paper in his hand by +the growing light—mutters it aloud</i>:</p> + +<p class="c"> +<i>U. S. A.</i><br /> +</p> + +<p>[<i>Smiling sternly, he crumples the paper in his fist, makes a wad +of it, and rams it into his gun-barrel.</i></p></div> + +<p><a name="page_103" id="page_103"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +HYACINTH HALVEY<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +<br /> +LADY AUGUSTA GREGORY</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>Hyacinth Halvey</i> is reprinted by special permission of G. P. Putnam's +Sons, New York City, publishers of Lady Gregory's work in America. All +rights reserved. For permission to perform, address the publisher.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_104" id="page_104"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_105" id="page_105"></a></p> + +<p class="cb">LADY AUGUSTA GREGORY</p> + +<p>Lady Augusta Gregory, one of the foremost figures in the Irish dramatic +movement, was born at Roxborough, County Galway, Ireland, in 1859. "She +was then a young woman," says one who has described her in her early +married life, "very earnest, who divided her hair in the middle and wore +it smooth on either side of a broad and handsome brow. Her eyes were +always full of questions.... In her drawing-room were to be met men of +assured reputation in literature and politics, and there was always the +best reading of the times upon her tables." Lady Gregory has devoted her +entire life to the cause of Irish literature. In 1911 she visited the +United States and at a dinner given to her by <i>The Outlook</i> in New York +City she said:</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left">"I will not cease from mental strife</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> Or let the sword fall from my hand</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> Till we have built Jerusalem</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> In—Ireland's—fair and lovely land."</td></tr> +</table> + +<p>Lady Gregory, with William Butler Yeats and John Millington Synge, has +been the very life of the Irish drama. The literary association of these +three has been highly fruitful. She helped to found the Irish National +Theatre Society, and for a number of years has been the managing force +of the celebrated Abbey Theatre in Dublin.</p> + +<p>Lady Gregory's chief interest has been in peasant comedies and +folk-plays. Her <i>Spreading the News</i>, <i>Hyacinth Halvey</i>, <i>The Rising of +the Moon</i>, <i>The Workhouse Ward</i>, and <i>The Travelling Man</i> are well-known +contributions to contemporary drama.</p> + +<p>It is a noteworthy fact that most of the plays of the Irish dramatic +movement are one-act plays. Much of Irish life lends itself admirably to +one-act treatment. <i>Hyacinth Halvey</i> is one of Lady Gregory's best +productions. This play contains a universal idea: reputation is in great +measure a matter of "a password or an emotion." Hyacinth, having a good +reputation thrust upon him, may do as he likes—his good name clings to +him notwithstanding.<a name="page_106" id="page_106"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">PERSONS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Hyacinth Halvey</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">James Quirke</span>, <i>a butcher</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Fardy Farrel</span>, <i>a telegraph boy</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Sergeant Carden</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Delane</span>, <i>postmistress at Cloon</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Miss Joyce</span>, <i>the priest's housekeeper</i></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_107" id="page_107"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="HYACINTH_HALVEY" id="HYACINTH_HALVEY"></a>HYACINTH HALVEY</h2> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>Outside the post-office at the little town of Cloon.</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. +Delane</span> <i>at post-office door</i>. <span class="smcap">Mr. Quirke</span> <i>sitting on a chair at +butcher's door. A dead sheep hanging beside it, and a thrush in a +cage above.</i> <span class="smcap">Fardy Farrell</span> <i>playing on a mouth-organ. Train-whistle +heard.</i></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. There is the four-o'clock train, Mr. Quirke.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Is it now, Mrs. Delane, and I not long after rising? It +makes a man drowsy to be doing the half of his work in the night-time. +Going about the country, looking for little stags of sheep, striving to +knock a few shillings together. That contract for the soldiers gives me +a great deal to attend to.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I suppose so. It's hard enough on myself to be down ready +for the mail-car in the morning, sorting letters in the half-dark. It's +often I haven't time to look who are the letters from—or the cards.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. It would be a pity you not to know any little news might be +knocking about. If you did not have information of what is going on, who +should have it? Was it you, ma'am, was telling me that the new +sub-sanitary inspector would be arriving to-day?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. To-day it is he is coming, and it's likely he was in that +train. There was a card about him to Sergeant Carden this morning.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. A young chap from Carrow they were saying he was.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. So he is, one Hyacinth Halvey; and indeed if<a name="page_108" id="page_108"></a> all that is +said of him is true, or if a quarter of it is true, he will be a credit +to this town.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Is that so?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Testimonials he has by the score. To Father Gregan they +were sent. Registered they were coming and going. Would you believe me +telling you that they weighed up to three pounds?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. There must be great bulk in them indeed.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is no wonder he to get the job. He must have a great +character, so many persons to write for him as what there did.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It would be a great thing to have a character like that.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Indeed, I am thinking it will be long before you will get +the like of it, Fardy Farrell.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. If I had the like of that of a character it is not here carrying +messages I would be. It's in Noonan's Hotel I would be, driving cars.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Here is the priest's housekeeper coming.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. So she is; and there is the sergeant a little while after +her.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Miss Joyce</span>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Good evening to you, Miss Joyce. What way is his reverence +to-day? Did he get any ease from the cough?</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. He did not, indeed, Mrs. Delane. He has it sticking to him +yet. Smothering he is in the night-time. The most thing he comes short +in is the voice.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I am sorry, now, to hear that. He should mind himself well.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. It's easy to say let him mind himself. What do you say to +him going to the meeting to-night?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Sergeant</span> <i>comes in</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. It's for his reverence's "Freeman" I am come, Mrs. Delane.<a name="page_109" id="page_109"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Here it is ready. I was just throwing an eye on it to see +was there any news. Good evening, Sergeant.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Holding up a placard.</i>] I brought this notice, Mrs. Delane, +the announcement of the meeting to be held to-night in the court-house. +You might put it up here convenient to the window. I hope you are coming +to it yourself?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I will come, and welcome. I would do more than that for +you, Sergeant.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. And you, Mr. Quirke.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I'll come, to be sure. I forget what's this the meeting is +about.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. The Department of Agriculture is sending round a lecturer in +furtherance of the moral development of the rural classes. [<i>Reads.</i>] "A +lecture will be given this evening in Cloon Court-House, illustrated by +magic-lantern slides—" Those will not be in it; I am informed they were +all broken in the first journey, the railway company taking them to be +eggs. The subject of the lecture is "The Building of Character."</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Very nice, indeed, I knew a girl lost her character, and +she washed her feet in a blessed well after, and it dried up on the +minute.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. The arrangements have all been left to me, the archdeacon +being away. He knows I have a good intellect for things of the sort. But +the loss of those slides puts a man out. The thing people will not see +it is not likely it is the thing they will believe. I saw what they call +tableaux—standing pictures, you know—one time in Dundrum——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Miss Joyce was saying Father Gregan is supporting you.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I am accepting his assistance. No bigotry about me when there +is a question of the welfare of any fellow creatures. Orange and green +will stand together to-night, I, myself, and the station-master on the +one side, your parish priest in the chair.<a name="page_110" id="page_110"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. If his reverence would mind me he would not quit the house +to-night. He is no more fit to go speak at a meeting than [<i>pointing to +the one hanging outside</i> <span class="smcap">Quirke's</span> <i>door</i>] that sheep.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I am willing to take the responsibility. He will have no +speaking to do at all, unless it might be to bid them give the lecturer +a hearing. The loss of those slides now is a great annoyance to me—and +no time for anything. The lecturer will be coming by the next train.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Who is this coming up the street, Mrs. Delane?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I wouldn't doubt it to be the new sub-sanitary inspector. +Was I telling you of the weight of the testimonials he got, Miss Joyce?</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Sure, I heard the curate reading them to his reverence. He +must be a wonder for principles.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Indeed, it is what I was saying to myself, he must be a +very saintly young man.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Hyacinth Halvey</span>. <i>He carries a small bag and a large +brown-paper parcel. He stops and nods bashfully.</i></p></div> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Good evening to you. I was bid to come to the post-office——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I suppose you are Hyacinth Halvey? I had a letter about you +from the resident magistrate.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I heard he was writing. It was my mother got a friend he deals +with to ask him.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. He gives you a very high character.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. It is very kind of him, indeed, and he not knowing me at all. +But, indeed, all the neighbors were very friendly. Anything any one +could do to help me they did it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I'll engage it is the testimonials you have in your parcel? +I know the wrapping-paper, but they grew in bulk since I handled them.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Indeed, I was getting them to the last. There<a name="page_111" id="page_111"></a> was not one +refused me. It is what my mother was saying, a good character is no +burden.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I would believe that, indeed.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Let us have a look at the testimonials.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hyacinth Halvey</span> <i>opens a parcel, and a large number of envelopes +fall out</i>.</p></div> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Opening and reading one by one.</i>] "He possesses the fire of +the Gael, the strength of the Norman, the vigor of the Dane, the +stolidity of the Saxon——"</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. It was the chairman of the Poor Law Guardians wrote that.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. "A magnificent example to old and young——"</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. That was the secretary of the De Wet Hurling Club——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. "A shining example of the value conferred by an eminently +careful and high-class education——"</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. That was the national schoolmaster.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. "Devoted to the highest ideals of his motherland to such an +extent as is compatible with a hitherto non-parliamentary career——"</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. That was the member for Carrow.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. "A splendid exponent of the purity of the race——"</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. The editor of the "Carrow Champion."</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. "Admirably adapted for the efficient discharge of all possible +duties that may in future be laid upon him——"</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. The new station-master.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. "A champion of every cause that can legitimately benefit his +fellow creatures—" Why, look here, my man, you are the very one to come +to our assistance to-night.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I would be glad to do that. What way can I do it?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. You are a newcomer—your example would carry weight—you must +stand up as a living proof of the beneficial<a name="page_112" id="page_112"></a> effect of a high +character, moral fibre, temperance—there is something about it here I +am sure—(<i>Looks.</i>) I am sure I saw "unparalleled temperance" in some +place——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. It was my mother's cousin wrote that—I am no drinker, but I +haven't the pledge taken——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. You might take it for the purpose.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Here is an antitreating button. I was made a +present of it by one of my customers—I'll give it to you [<i>sticks it +in</i> <span class="smcap">Hyacinth's</span> <i>coat</i>] and welcome.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. That is it. You can wear the button on the platform—or a bit +of blue ribbon—hundreds will follow your example—I know the boys from +the Workhouse will——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I am in no way wishful to be an example——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I will read extracts from the testimonials. "There he is," I +will say, "an example of one in early life who by his own unaided +efforts and his high character has obtained a profitable situation." +[<i>Slaps his side.</i>] I know what I'll do. I'll engage a few corner-boys +from Noonan's bar, just as they are, greasy and sodden, to stand in a +group—there will be the contrast—the sight will deter others from a +similar fate—that's the way to do a tableau—I knew I could turn out a +success.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I wouldn't like to be a contrast——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Puts testimonials in his pocket.</i>] I will go now and engage +those lads—sixpence each, and well worth it—nothing like an example +for the rural classes.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Goes off</i>, <span class="smcap">Hyacinth</span> <i>feebly trying to detain him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. A very nice man, indeed. A little high up in himself, +maybe. I'm not one that blames the police. Sure they have their own +bread to earn like every other one. And indeed it is often they will let +a thing pass.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Gloomily.</i>] Sometimes they will, and more times they will +not.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. And where will you be finding a lodging, Mr. Halvey?<a name="page_113" id="page_113"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I was going to ask that myself, ma'am. I don't know the town.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. I know of a good lodging, but it is only a very good man +would be taken into it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Sure there could be no objection there to Mr. Halvey. There +is no appearance on him but what is good, and the sergeant after taking +him up the way he is doing.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. You will be near to the sergeant in the lodging I speak of. +The house is convenient to the barracks.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Doubtfully.</i>] To the barracks?</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Alongside of it, and the barrack-yard behind. And that's not +all. It is opposite to the priest's house.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Opposite, is it?</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. A very respectable place, indeed, and a very clean room you +will get. I know it well. The curate can see into it from his window.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Can he now?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. There was a good many, I am thinking, went into that lodging and +left it after.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. [<i>Sharply.</i>] It is a lodging you will never be let into or +let stop in, Fardy. If they did go they were a good riddance.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. John Hart, the plumber, left it——</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. If he did it was because he dared not pass the police coming +in, as he used, with a rabbit he was after snaring in his hand.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. The schoolmaster himself left it.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. He needn't have left it if he hadn't taken to card-playing. +What way could you say your prayers, and shadows shuffling and dealing +before you on the blind?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I think maybe I'd best look around a bit before I'll settle in +a lodging——</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Not at all. You won't be wanting to pull down the blind.<a name="page_114" id="page_114"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is not likely <i>you</i> will be snaring rabbits.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Or bringing in a bottle and taking an odd glass the way +James Kelly did.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Or writing threatening notices, and the police taking a +view of you from the rear.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Or going to roadside dances, or running after +good-for-nothing young girls——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I give you my word I'm not so harmless as you think.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Would you be putting a lie on these, Mr. Halvey? [<i>Touching +testimonials.</i>] I know well the way you will be spending the evenings, +writing letters to your relations——</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Learning O'Growney's exercises——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Sticking post-cards in an album for the convent bazaar.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Reading the "Catholic Young Man"——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Playing the melodies on a melodeon——</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Looking at the pictures in the "Lives of the Saints." I'll +hurry on and engage the room for you.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Wait. Wait a minute——</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. No trouble at all. I told you it was just opposite.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Goes.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I suppose I must go up-stairs and ready myself for the +meeting. If it wasn't for the contract I have for the soldiers' barracks +and the sergeant's good word, I wouldn't go anear it.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Goes into shop.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I should be making myself ready, too. I must be in good +time to see you being made an example of, Mr. Halvey. It is I, myself, +was the first to say it; you will be a credit to the town.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Goes.</i></p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>In a tone of agony.</i>] I wish I had never seen Cloon.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. What is on you?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I wish I had never left Carrow. I wish I had<a name="page_115" id="page_115"></a> been drowned the +first day I thought of it, and I'd be better off.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. What is it ails you?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I wouldn't for the best pound ever I had be in this place +to-day.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I don't know what you are talking about.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. To have left Carrow, if it was a poor place, where I had my +comrades, and an odd spree, and a game of cards—and a coursing-match +coming on, and I promised a new greyhound from the city of Cork. I'll +die in this place, the way I am, I'll be too much closed in.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Sure it mightn't be as bad as what you think.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Will you tell me, I ask you, what way can I undo it?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. What is it you are wanting to undo?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Will you tell me what way can I get rid of my character?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. To get rid of it, is it?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. That is what I said. Aren't you after hearing the great +character they are after putting on me?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. That is a good thing to have.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. It is not. It's the worst in the world. If I hadn't it, I +wouldn't be like a prize marigold at a show, with every person praising +me.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. If I had it, I wouldn't be like a head in a barrel, with every +person making hits at me.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. If I hadn't it, I wouldn't be shoved into a room with all the +clergy watching me and the police in the back yard.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. If I had it, I wouldn't be but a message-carrier now, and a +clapper scaring birds in the summer-time.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. If I hadn't it, I wouldn't be wearing this button and brought +up for an example at the meeting.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Whistles.</i>] Maybe you're not so, what those papers make you out +to be?<a name="page_116" id="page_116"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. How would I be what they make me out to be? Was there ever any +person of that sort since the world was a world, unless it might be +Saint Antony of Padua looking down from the chapel wall? If it is like +that I was, isn't it in Mount Melleray I would be, or with the friars at +Esker? Why would I be living in the world at all, or doing the world's +work?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Taking up parcel.</i>] Who would think, now, there would be so +much lies in a small place like Carrow?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. It was my mother's cousin did it. He said I was not reared for +laboring—he gave me a new suit and bid me never to come back again. I +daren't go back to face him—the neighbors knew my mother had a long +family—bad luck to them the day they gave me these. [<i>Tears letters and +scatters them.</i>] I'm done with testimonials. They won't be here to bear +witness against me.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. The sergeant thought them to be great. Sure he has the samples of +them in his pocket. There's not one in the town but will know before +morning that you are the next thing to an earthly saint.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Stamping.</i>] I'll stop their mouths. I'll show them I can be +a terror for badness. I'll do some injury. I'll commit some crime. The +first thing I'll do I'll go and get drunk. If I never did it before I'll +do it now. I'll get drunk—then I'll make an assault—I tell you I'd +think as little of taking a life as of blowing out a candle.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. If you get drunk you are done for. Sure that will be held up +after as an excuse for any breaking of the law.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I will break the law. Drunk or sober, I'll break it. I'll do +something that will have no excuse. What would you say is the worst +crime that any man can do?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I don't know. I heard the sergeant saying one time it was to +obstruct the police in the discharge of their duty——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. That won't do. It's a patriot I would be then, worse than +before, with my picture in the weeklies. It's a red<a name="page_117" id="page_117"></a> crime I must commit +that will make all respectable people quit minding me. What can I do? +Search your mind now.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It's what I heard the old people saying there could be no worse +crime than to steal a sheep——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I'll steal a sheep—or a cow—or a horse—if that will leave +me the way I was before.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It's maybe in jail it will leave you.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I don't care—I'll confess—I'll tell why I did it—I give you +my word I would as soon be picking oakum or breaking stones as to be +perched in the daylight the same as that bird, and all the town +chirruping to me or bidding me chirrup——</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. There is reason in that, now.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Help me, will you?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Well, if it is to steal a sheep you want, you haven't far to go.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Looking around wildly.</i>] Where is it? I see no sheep.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Look around you.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I see no living thing but that thrush——</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Did I say it was living? What is that hanging on Quirke's rack?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. It's [<i>fingers it</i>] a sheep, sure enough——</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Well, what ails you that you can't bring it away?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. It's a dead one——</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. What matter if it is?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. If it was living I could drive it before me——</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. You could. Is it to your own lodging you would drive it? Sure +every one would take it to be a pet you brought from Carrow.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I suppose they might.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Miss Joyce sending in for news of it and it bleating behind the +bed.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Distracted.</i>] Stop! stop!<a name="page_118" id="page_118"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. [<i>From upper window.</i>] Fardy! Are you there, Fardy Farrell?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I am, ma'am.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. [<i>From window.</i>] Look and tell me is that the telegraph I +hear ticking?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Looking in at door.</i>] It is, ma'am.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Then botheration to it, and I not dressed or undressed. +Wouldn't you say, now, it's to annoy me it is calling me down. I'm +coming! I'm coming!</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Disappears.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Hurry on, now! Hurry! She'll be coming out on you. If you are +going to do it, do it, and if you are not, let it alone.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I'll do it! I'll do it!</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Lifting the sheep on his back.</i>] I'll give you a hand with it.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Goes a step or two and turns round.</i>] You told me no place +where I could hide it.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. You needn't go far. There is the church beyond at the side of the +square. Go round to the ditch behind the wall—there's nettles in it.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. That'll do.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. She's coming out—run! run!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Runs a step or two.</i>] It's slipping!</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Hoist it up. I'll give it a hoist!</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Halvey</span> <i>runs out</i>.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. [<i>Calling out.</i>] What are you doing, Fardy Farrell? Is it +idling you are?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Waiting I am, ma'am, for the message——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Never mind the message yet. Who said it was ready? [<i>Going +to door.</i>] Go ask for the loan of—no, but ask news of—Here, now go +bring that bag of Mr. Halvey's to the lodging Miss Joyce has taken——</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I will, ma'am. [<i>Takes bag and goes out.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. [<i>Coming out with a telegram in her hand.</i>] Nobody<a name="page_119" id="page_119"></a> here? +[<i>Looks round and calls cautiously.</i>] Mr. Quirke! Mr. Quirke! James +Quirke!</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Looking out of his upper window, with soap-suddy face.</i>] +What is it, Mrs. Delane?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. [<i>Beckoning.</i>] Come down here till I tell you.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I cannot do that. I'm not fully shaved.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. You'd come if you knew the news I have.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Tell it to me now. I'm not so supple as I was.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Whisper now, have you an enemy in any place?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. It's likely I may have. A man in business——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I was thinking you had one.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Why would you think that at this time more than any other +time?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. If you could know what is in this envelope you would know +that, James Quirke.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Is that so? And what, now, is there in it?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Who do you think now is it addressed to?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. How would I know that, and I not seeing it?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. That is true. Well, it is a message from Dublin Castle to +the sergeant of police!</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. To Sergeant Carden, is it?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is. And it concerns yourself.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Myself, is it? What accusation can they be bringing against +me? I'm a peaceable man.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Wait till you hear.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Maybe they think I was in that moonlighting case——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. That is not it——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I was not in it—I was but in the neighboring field—cutting +up a dead cow, that those never had a hand in——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. You're out of it——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. They had their faces blackened. There is no man can say I +recognized them.<a name="page_120" id="page_120"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. That's not what they're saying——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I'll swear I did not hear their voices or know them if I did +hear them.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I tell you it has nothing to do with that. It might be +better for you if it had.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. What is it, so?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is an order to the sergeant, bidding him immediately to +seize all suspicious meat in your house. There is an officer coming +down. There are complaints from the Shannon Fort Barracks.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I'll engage it was that pork.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. What ailed it for them to find fault?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. People are so hard to please nowadays, and I recommended +them to salt it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. They had a right to have minded your advice.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. There was nothing on that pig at all but that it went mad on +poor O'Grady that owned it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. So I heard, and went killing all before it.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Sure it's only in the brain madness can be. I heard the +doctor saying that.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. He should know.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I give you my word I cut the head off it. I went to the loss +of it, throwing it to the eels in the river. If they had salted the +meat, as I advised them, what harm would it have done to any person on +earth?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I hope no harm will come on poor Mrs. Quirke and the +family.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Maybe it wasn't that but some other thing——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Here is Fardy. I must send the message to the sergeant. +Well, Mr. Quirke, I'm glad I had the time to give you a warning.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I'm obliged to you, indeed. You were always very neighborly, +Mrs. Delane. Don't be too quick now sending<a name="page_121" id="page_121"></a> the message. There is just +one article I would like to put away out of the house before the +sergeant will come.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Fardy</span>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Here now, Fardy—that's not the way you're going to the +barracks. Any one would think you were scaring birds yet. Put on your +uniform.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Fardy</span> <i>goes into office</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. You have this message to bring to the sergeant of police. +Get your cap now; it's under the counter.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Fardy</span> <i>reappears, and she gives him telegram</i>.</p></div> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I'll bring it to the station. It's there he was going.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. You will not, but to the barracks. It can wait for him +there.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Fardy</span> <i>goes off</i>. <span class="smcap">Mr. Quirke</span> <i>has appeared at door</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. It was indeed a very neighborly act, Mrs. Delane, and I'm +obliged to you. There is just <i>one</i> article to put out of the way. The +sergeant may look about him then and welcome. It's well I cleared the +premises on yesterday. A consignment to Birmingham I sent. The Lord be +praised, isn't England a terrible country, with all it consumes?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Indeed, you always treat the neighbors very decent, Mr. +Quirke, not asking them to buy from you.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Just one article. [<i>Turns to rack.</i>] That sheep I brought in +last night. It was for a charity, indeed, I bought it from the widow +woman at Kiltartan Cross. Where would the poor make a profit out of +their dead meat without me? Where now is it? Well, now, I could have +swore that that sheep was hanging there on the rack when I went in——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. You must have put it in some other place.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Going in and searching and coming out.</i>] I did not; there +is no other place for me to put it. Is it gone blind I am, or is it not +in it, it is?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It's not there now, anyway.<a name="page_122" id="page_122"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Didn't you take notice of it there, yourself, this morning?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I have it in my mind that I did; but it's not there now.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. There was no one here could bring it away?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Is it me, myself, you suspect of taking it, James Quirke?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Where is it at all? It is certain it was not of itself it +walked away. It was dead, and very dead, the time I bought it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I have a pleasant neighbor, indeed, that accuses me that I +took his sheep. I wonder, indeed, you to say a thing like that! I to +steal your sheep or your rack or anything that belongs to you or to your +trade! Thank you, James Quirke. I am much obliged to you, indeed.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Ah, be quiet, woman; be quiet——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. And let me tell you, James Quirke, that I would sooner +starve and see every one belonging to me starve than to eat the size of +a thimble of any joint that ever was on your rack or that ever will be +on it, whatever the soldiers may eat that have no other thing to get, or +the English, that devour all sorts, or the poor ravenous people that's +down by the sea!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She turns to go into shop.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Stopping her.</i>] Don't be talking foolishness, woman. Who +said you took my meat? Give heed to me now. There must some other +message have come. The sergeant must have got some other message.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. [<i>Sulkily.</i>] If there is any way for a message to come that +is quicker than to come by the wires, tell me what it is, and I'll be +obliged to you.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. The sergeant was up here, making an excuse he was sticking +up that notice. What was he doing here, I ask you?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. How would I know what brought him?<a name="page_123" id="page_123"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. It is what he did; he made as if to go away—he turned back +again and I shaving—he brought away the sheep—he will have it for +evidence against me——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. [<i>Interested.</i>] That might be so.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I would sooner it to have been any other beast nearly ever I +had upon the rack.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Is that so?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I bade the Widow Early to kill it a fortnight ago—but she +would not, she was that covetous!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. What was on it?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. How would I know what was on it? Whatever was on it, it was +the will of God put it upon it—wasted it was, and shivering and +refusing its share.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. The poor thing.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Gone all to nothing—wore away like a flock of thread. It +did not weigh as much as a lamb of two months.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is likely the inspector will bring it to Dublin?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. The ribs of it streaky with the dint of patent medicines——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I wonder is it to the Petty Sessions you'll be brought or +is it to the Assizes?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I'll speak up to them. I'll make my defense. What can the +army expect at fippence a pound?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is likely there will be no bail allowed?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Would they be wanting me to give them good quality meat out +of my own pocket? Is it to encourage them to fight the poor Indians and +Africans they would have me? It's the Anti-Enlisting Societies should +pay the fine for me.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It's not a fine will be put on you, I'm afraid. It's five +years in jail you will be apt to be getting. Well, I'll try and be a +good neighbor to poor Mrs. Quirke.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mr. Quirke</span>, <i>who has been stamping up and down, sits<a name="page_124" id="page_124"></a> down and +weeps</i>. <span class="smcap">Halvey</span> <i>comes in and stands on one side</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Hadn't I heart-scalding enough before, striving to rear five +weak children?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I suppose they will be sent to the Industrial Schools?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. My poor wife——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I'm afraid the workhouse——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. And she out in an ass-car at this minute, helping me to +follow my trade.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I hope they will not arrest her along with you.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I'll give myself up to justice. I'll plead guilty! I'll be +recommended to mercy!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It might be best for you.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Who would think so great a misfortune could come upon a +family through the bringing away of one sheep!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Coming forward.</i>] Let you make yourself easy.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Easy! It's easy to say let you make yourself easy.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I can tell you where it is.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Where what is?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. The sheep you are fretting after.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. What do you know about it?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I know everything about it.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I suppose the sergeant told you?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. He told me nothing.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I suppose the whole town knows it, so?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. No one knows it, as yet.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. And the sergeant didn't see it?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. No one saw it or brought it away but myself.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Where did you put it at all?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. In the ditch behind the church wall. In among <a name="page_125" id="page_125"></a>the nettles it +is. Look at the way they have me stung.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Holds out hands.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. In the ditch! The best hiding-place in the town.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I never thought it would bring such great trouble upon you. +You can't say, anyway, I did not tell you.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. You, yourself, that brought it away and that hid it! I +suppose it was coming in the train you got information about the message +to the police.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. What now do you say to me?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Say! I say I am as glad to hear what you said as if it was +the Lord telling me I'd be in heaven this minute.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. What are you going to do to me?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Do, is it? [<i>Grasps his hand.</i>] Any earthly thing you would +wish me to do, I will do it.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I suppose you will tell——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Tell! It's I that will tell when all is quiet. It is I will +give you the good name through the town!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I don't well understand.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Embracing him.</i>] The man that preserved me!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. That preserved you?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. That kept me from ruin!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. From ruin?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. That saved me from disgrace!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Delane</span>.] What is he saying at all?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. From the inspector!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. What is he talking about?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. From the magistrates!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. He is making some mistake.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. From the Winter Assizes!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Is he out of his wits?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Five years in jail!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Hasn't he the queer talk?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. The loss of the contract!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Are my own wits gone astray?<a name="page_126" id="page_126"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. What way can I repay you?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Shouting.</i>] I tell you I took the sheep——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. You did, God reward you!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I stole away with it——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. The blessing of the poor on you!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I put it out of sight——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. The blessing of my five children——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I may as well say nothing——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Let you be quiet now, Quirke. Here's the sergeant coming to +search the shop——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Sergeant</span> <i>comes in</i>. <span class="smcap">Quirke</span> <i>leaves go of</i> <span class="smcap">Halvey</span>, <i>who arranges +his hat, etc.</i></p></div> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. The department to blazes!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. What is it is putting you out?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. To go to the train to meet the lecturer, and there to get a +message through the guard that he was unavoidably detained in the South, +holding an inquest on the remains of a drake.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. The lecturer, is it?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. To be sure. What else would I be talking of? The lecturer has +failed me, and where am I to go looking for a person that I would think +fitting to take his place?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. And that's all? And you didn't get any message but the one?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Is that all? I am surprised at you, Mrs. Delane. Isn't it +enough to upset a man, within three-quarters of an hour of the time of +the meeting? Where, I would ask you, am I to find a man that has +education enough and wit enough and character enough to put up speaking +on the platform on the minute?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Jumps up.</i>] It is I, myself, will tell you that.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. You!</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Slapping</i> <span class="smcap">Halvey</span> <i>on the back</i>.] Look at here, Sergeant. +There is not one word was said in all those papers about this young man +before you but it is true. And there could be no good thing said of him +that would be too good for him.<a name="page_127" id="page_127"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. It might not be a bad idea.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Whatever the paper said about him, Sergeant, I can say more +again. It has come to my knowledge—by chance—that since he came to +this town that young man has saved a whole family from destruction.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. That is much to his credit—helping the rural classes——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. A family and a long family, big and little, like sods of +turf—and they depending on a—on one that might be on his way to dark +trouble at this minute if it was not for his assistance. Believe me, he +is the most sensible man, and the wittiest, and the kindest, and the +best helper of the poor that ever stood before you in this square. Is +not that so, Mrs. Delane?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is true, indeed. Where he gets his wisdom and his wit +and his information from I don't know, unless it might be that he is +gifted from above.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>.. Well, Mrs. Delane, I think we have settled that question. Mr. +Halvey, you will be the speaker at the meeting. The lecturer sent these +notes—you can lengthen them into a speech. You can call to the people +of Cloon to stand out, to begin the building of their character. I saw a +lecturer do it one time at Dundrum. "Come up here," he said; "Dare to be +a Daniel," he said——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I can't—I won't——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Looking at papers and thrusting them into his hand.</i>] You +will find it quite easy. I will conduct you to the platform—these +papers before you and a glass of water—that's settled. [<i>Turns to go.</i>] +Follow me on to the court-house in half an hour—I must go to the +barracks first—I heard there was a telegram—[<i>Calls back as he goes.</i>] +Don't be late, Mrs. Delane. Mind, Quirke, you promised to come.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Well, it's time for me to make an end of settling +myself—and, indeed, Mr. Quirke, you'd best do the same.<a name="page_128" id="page_128"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Rubbing his cheek.</i>] I suppose so. I had best keep on good +terms with him for the present. [<i>Turns.</i>] Well, now, I had a great +escape this day.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Both go in as</i> <span class="smcap">Fardy</span> <i>reappears, whistling</i>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Sitting down.</i>] I don't know in the world what has come upon +the world that the half of the people of it should be cracked!</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Weren't you found out yet?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Found out, is it? I don't know what you mean by being found +out.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Didn't he miss the sheep?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. He did, and I told him it was I took it—and what happened I +declare to goodness I don't know—Will you look at these?</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Holds out +notes.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Papers! Are they more testimonials?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. They are what is worse. [<i>Gives a hoarse laugh.</i>] Will you +come and see me on the platform—these in my hand—and I +speaking—giving out advice. [<span class="smcap">Fardy</span> <i>whistles</i>.] Why didn't you tell me, +the time you advised me to steal a sheep, that in this town it would +qualify a man to go preaching, and the priest in the chair looking on?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. The time I took a few apples that had fallen off a stall, they +did not ask me to hold a meeting. They welted me well.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Looking round.</i>] I would take apples if I could see them. I +wish I had broke my neck before I left Carrow, and I'd be better off! I +wish I had got six months the time I was caught setting snares—I wish I +had robbed a church.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Would a Protestant church do?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I suppose it wouldn't be so great a sin.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It's likely the sergeant would think worse of it. Anyway, if you +want to rob one, it's the Protestant church is the handiest.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Getting up.</i>] Show me what way to do it?<a name="page_129" id="page_129"></a></p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Pointing.</i>] I was going around it a few minutes ago, to see +might there be e'er a dog scenting the sheep, and I noticed the window +being out.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Out, out and out?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It was, where they are putting colored glass in it for the +distiller——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. What good does that do me?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Every good. You could go in by that window if you had some person +to give you a hoist. Whatever riches there is to get in it then, you'll +get them.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I don't want riches. I'll give you all I will find if you will +come and hoist me.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Here is Miss Joyce coming to bring you to your lodging. Sure I +brought your bag to it, the time you were away with the sheep——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Run! Run!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They go off.</i> <i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Miss Joyce</span>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Are you here, Mrs. Delane? Where, can you tell me, is Mr. +Halvey?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. [<i>Coming out dressed.</i>] It's likely he is gone on to the +court-house. Did you hear he is to be in the chair and to make an +address to the meeting?</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. He is getting on fast. His reverence says he will be a good +help in the parish. Who would think, now, there would be such a godly +young man in a little place like Carrow!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Sergeant</span> <i>in a hurry, with telegram</i>.</p></div> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. What time did this telegram arrive, Mrs. Delane?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I couldn't be rightly sure, Sergeant. But sure it's marked +on it, unless the clock I have is gone wrong.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. It is marked on it. And I have the time I got it marked on my +own watch.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Well, now, I wonder none of the police would have followed +you with it from the barracks—and they with so little to do——<a name="page_130" id="page_130"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Looking in at</i> <span class="smcap">Quirke's</span> <i>shop</i>.] Well, I am sorry to do what +I have to do, but duty is duty.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He ransacks shop.</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Delane</span> <i>looks on</i>. <span class="smcap">Mr. Quirke</span> <i>puts his +head out of window</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. What is that going on inside? [<i>No answer.</i>] Is there any +one inside, I ask? [<i>No answer.</i>] It must be that dog of Tannian's—wait +till I get at him.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is Sergeant Carden, Mr. Quirke. He would seem to be +looking for something——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mr. Quirke</span> <i>appears in shop</i>. <span class="smcap">Sergeant</span> <i>comes out, makes another +dive, taking up sacks, etc.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I'm greatly afraid I am just out of meat, Sergeant—and I'm +sorry now to disoblige you, and you not being in the habit of dealing +with me——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I should think not, indeed.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Looking for a tender little bit of lamb, I suppose you are, +for Mrs. Carden and the youngsters?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I am not.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. If I had it now, I'd be proud to offer it to you, and make +no charge. I'll be killing a good kid to-morrow. Mrs Carden might fancy +a bit of it——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I have had orders to search your establishment for unwholesome +meat, and I am come here to do it.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Sitting down with a smile.</i>] Is that so? Well, isn't it a +wonder the schemers does be in the world.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. It is not the first time there have been complaints.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I suppose not. Well, it is on their own head it will fall at +the last!</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I have found nothing so far.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I suppose not, indeed. What is there you could find, and it +not in it?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Have you no meat at all upon the premises?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I have, indeed, a nice barrel of bacon.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. What way did it die?<a name="page_131" id="page_131"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. It would be hard for me to say that. American it is. How +would I know what way they do be killing the pigs out there? Machinery, +I suppose, they have—steam-hammers——</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Is there nothing else here at all?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. I give you my word, there is no meat, living or dead, in +this place, but yourself and myself and that bird above in the cage.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Well, I must tell the inspector I could find nothing. But mind +yourself for the future.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Thank you, Sergeant. I will do that.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Fardy</span>. <i>He stops short.</i></p></div> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. It was you delayed that message to me, I suppose? You'd best +mend your ways or I'll have something to say to you.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Seizes and shakes him.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. That's the way every one does be faulting me.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Whimpers.</i></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Sergeant</span> <i>gives him another shake. A half-crown falls out of +his pocket.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. [<i>Picking it up.</i>] A half-a-crown! Where, now, did you get +that much, Fardy?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Where did I get it, is it?</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. I'll engage it was in no honest way you got it.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I picked it up in the street——</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. If you did, why didn't you bring it to the sergeant or to +his reverence?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. And some poor person, maybe, being at the loss of it.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. I'd best bring it to his reverence. Come with me, Fardy, +till he will question you about it.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It was not altogether in the street I found it——</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. There, now! I knew you got it in no good way! Tell me, now.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It was playing pitch and toss I won it——<a name="page_132" id="page_132"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. And who would play for half-crowns with the like of you, +Fardy Farrell? Who was it, now?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It was—a stranger——</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Do you hear that? A stranger! Did you see e'er a stranger in +this town, Mrs. Delane, or Sergeant Carden, or Mr. Quirke?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Not a one.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. There was no stranger here.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. There could not be one here without me knowing it.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I tell you there was.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Come on, then, and tell who was he to his reverence.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Taking other arm.</i>] Or to the bench.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I did get it, I tell you, from a stranger.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Where is he, so?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. He's in some place—not far away.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Bring me to him.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. He'll be coming here.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Tell me the truth and it will be better for you.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Weeping.</i>] Let me go and I will.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Letting go.</i>] Now—who did you get it from?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. From that young chap came to-day, Mr. Halvey.</p> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. Mr. Halvey!</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Indignantly.</i>] What are you saying, you young ruffian, +you? Hyacinth Halvey to be playing pitch and toss with the like of you!</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I didn't say that.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. You did say it. You said it now.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Hyacinth Halvey! The best man that ever came into this town!</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Well, what lies he has!</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. It's my belief the half-crown is a bad one. Maybe it's to +pass it off it was given to him. There were tinkers<a name="page_133" id="page_133"></a> in the town at the +time of the fair. Give it here to me. [<i>Bites it.</i>] No, indeed, it's +sound enough. Here, Sergeant, it's best for you take it. [<i>Gives it to</i> +<span class="smcap">Sergeant</span>, <i>who examines it</i>.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Can it be? Can it be what I think it to be?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. What is it? What do you take it to be?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. It is, it is. I know it, I know this half-crown——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. That is a queer thing, now.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I know it well. I have been handling it in the church for the +last twelvemonth——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Is that so?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. It is the nest-egg half-crown we hand round in the +collection-plate every Sunday morning. I know it by the dint on the +Queen's temples and the crooked scratch under her nose.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Examining it.</i>] So there is, too.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. This is a bad business. It has been stolen from the church.</p> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. Oh! Oh! Oh!</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Seizing</i> <span class="smcap">Fardy</span>.] You have robbed the church!</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Terrified.</i>] I tell you I never did!</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I have the proof of it.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Say what you like! I never put a foot in it!</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. How did you get this, so?</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. I suppose from the <i>stranger</i>?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. I suppose it was Hyacinth Halvey gave it to you, now?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It was so.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I suppose it was he robbed the church?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Sobs.</i>] You will not believe me if I say it.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Oh! the young vagabond! Let me get at him!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Here he is himself now!</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Hyacinth</span> <i>comes in</i>. <span class="smcap">Fardy</span> <i>releases himself and creeps behind him</i>.<a name="page_134" id="page_134"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. It is time you to come, Mr. Halvey, and shut the mouth of +this young schemer.</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. I would like you to hear what he says of you, Mr. Halvey. +Pitch and toss, he says.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Robbery, he says.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Robbery of a church.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. He has had a bad name long enough. Let him go to a reformatory +now.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. [<i>Clinging to</i> <span class="smcap">Hyacinth</span>.] Save me, save me! I'm a poor boy trying +to knock out a way of living; I'll be destroyed if I go to a +reformatory. [<i>Kneels and clings to</i> <span class="smcap">Hyacinth's</span> <i>knees</i>.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I'll save you easy enough.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Don't let me be jailed!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I am going to tell them.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I'm a poor orphan——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Will you let me speak?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I'll get no more chance in the world——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Sure I'm trying to free you——</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It will be tasked to me always.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Be quiet, can't you?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Don't you desert me!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Will you be silent?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Take it on yourself.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I will if you'll let me.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Tell them you did it.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I am going to do that.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Tell them it was you got in at the window.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I will! I will!</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Say it was you robbed the box.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I'll say it! I'll say it!</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. It being open!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Let me tell, let me tell.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Of all that was in it.<a name="page_135" id="page_135"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I'll tell them that.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. And gave it to me.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Putting hand on his mouth and dragging him up.</i>] Will you +stop and let me speak?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. We can't be wasting time. Give him here to me.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I can't do that. He must be let alone.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Seizing him.</i>] He'll be let alone in the lock-up.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. He must not be brought there.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. I'll let no man get him off.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I will get him off.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. You will not!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I will.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Do you think to buy him off?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. I will buy him off with my own confession.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. And what will that be?</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. It was I robbed the church.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. That is likely indeed!</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Let him go, and take me. I tell you I did it.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. It would take witnesses to prove that.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. [<i>Pointing to</i> <span class="smcap">Fardy</span>.] He will be witness.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. Oh, Mr. Halvey, I would not wish to do that. Get me off and I +will say nothing.</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Sure you must. You will be put on oath in the court.</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I will not! I will not! All the world knows I don't understand +the nature of an oath!</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Coming forward.</i>] Is it blind ye all are?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. What are you talking about?</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Is it fools ye all are?</p> + +<p>M<small>ISS</small> J<small>OYCE</small>. Speak for yourself.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Is it idiots ye all are?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. Mind who you're talking to.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. [<i>Seizing</i> <span class="smcap">Hyacinth's</span> <i>hands</i>.] Can't you see?<a name="page_136" id="page_136"></a> Can't you +hear? Where are your wits? Was ever such a thing seen in this town?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Say out what you have to say.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. A walking saint he is!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. D<small>ELANE</small>. Maybe so.</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. The preserver of the poor! Talk of the holy martyrs! They +are nothing at all to what he is! Will you look at him! To save that +poor boy he is going! To take the blame on himself he is going! To say +he, himself, did the robbery he is going! Before the magistrate he is +going! To jail he is going! Taking the blame on his own head! Putting +the sin on his own shoulders! Letting on to have done a robbery! Telling +a lie—that it may be forgiven him—to his own injury! Doing all that, I +tell you, to save the character of a miserable slack lad, that rose in +poverty.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Murmur of admiration from all.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Now, what do you say?</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Pressing his hand.</i>] Mr. Halvey, you have given us all a +lesson. To please you, I will make no information against the boy, +[<i>Shakes him and helps him up.</i>] I will put back the half-crown in the +poor-box next Sunday. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Fardy</span>.] What have you to say to your +benefactor?</p> + +<p>F<small>ARDY</small>. I'm obliged to you, Mr. Halvey. You behaved very decent to me, +very decent indeed. I'll never let a word be said against you if I live +to be a hundred years.</p> + +<p>S<small>ERGEANT</small>. [<i>Wiping eyes with a blue handkerchief.</i>] I will tell it at +the meeting. It will be a great encouragement to them to build up their +character. I'll tell it to the priest and he taking the chair——</p> + +<p>H<small>YACINTH</small>. Oh, stop, will you——</p> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. The chair. It's in the chair he, himself, should be. It's in +a chair we will put him now. It's to chair him through the streets we +will. Sure he'll be an example and a blessing to the whole of the town. +[<i>Seizes</i> <span class="smcap">Halvey</span><a name="page_137" id="page_137"></a> <i>and seats him in chair</i>.] Now, Sergeant, give a hand. +Here. Fardy.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They all lift the chair with</i> <span class="smcap">Halvey</span> <i>in it, wildly protesting</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>R</small>. Q<small>UIRKE</small>. Come along now to the court-house. Three cheers for Hyacinth +Halvey! Hip! hip! hoora!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Cheers heard in the distance as the curtain drops.</i></p></div> + +<p><a name="page_138" id="page_138"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_139" id="page_139"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +THE GAZING GLOBE<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +<br /> +EUGENE PILLOT</small> +</h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>The Gazing Globe</i> is reprinted by special permission of Eugene Pillot. +All rights are retained by the author. This play is protected by +copyright and must not be used without the permission of and payment of +royalty to Eugene Pillot, who may be reached through The 47 Workshop, +Cambridge, Massachusetts.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_140" id="page_140"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_141" id="page_141"></a></p> + +<p class="cb">EUGENE PILLOT</p> + +<p>Eugene Pillot, one of the well-known contemporary writers of one-act +plays, was born in Houston, Texas. He was educated in the New York +School of Fine and Applied Arts, at the University of Texas, at Cornell +University, and at Harvard University. While at Harvard, he participated +in the activities of The 47 Workshop.</p> + +<p>Mr. Pillot's one-act plays are always characterized by excellent and +well-sustained technic. Among his best-known one-act plays are <i>The +Gazing Globe</i>, <i>Two Crooks and a Lady</i>, <i>Telephone Number One</i> (a prize +play), <i>Hunger</i>, and <i>My Lady Dreams</i>. Mr. Pillot's plays have been +produced frequently in schools and Little Theatres of America.</p> + +<p><i>The Gazing Globe</i> originally appeared in <i>The Stratford Journal</i>, and +was first produced by the Boston Community Players, February 26, 1920, +with the following cast: <span class="smcap">Zama</span>, Rosalie Manning; <span class="smcap">Ohano</span>, Beulah Auerbach; +and <span class="smcap">Nijo</span>, Eugene Pillot. <i>The Gazing Globe</i> has unusually sustained tone +and dramatic suspense.<a name="page_142" id="page_142"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left">CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Zama</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Ohano</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Nijo</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_143" id="page_143"></a></p> + +<h2>THE GAZING GLOBE<a name="FNanchor_F_6" id="FNanchor_F_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_F_6" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[F]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>A soft cream-colored room, bare walled and unfurnished +except for dull-blue grass mats on the floor and brilliant +cushions. In the centre of rear wall is a great circular window +with a dais before it, so that it may be used as a doorway. A +gathered shade of soft blue silk covers the opening of the window.</i></p> + +<p class="hang">PLACE: <i>An island in a southern sea.</i></p> + +<p class="hang">TIME: <i>Not so long ago.</i></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The curtain rises on an empty stage.</i> <span class="smcap">Zama</span>, <i>an old servant woman +dressed in dull purples and grays, hurries in from the right. She +stops at centre stage and glances about searchingly, then calls in +a weazen voice.</i></p></div> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Ohano—Ohano! Where do you be, child?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Listens, looks about, sees drawn shade at the rear, and sighs as +she goes to it and starts to raise it.</i></p> + +<p>[<i>As the shade rolls out of sight we see through the open window a +bit of quaint cliff garden that overlooks a sea of green. The rocks +are higher on the left, near the window, where a purple-pink vine +in full blossom has started to climb. At the right the rocks slope +down to the sea. At centre, stone steps lead up to a slender stone +pedestal that holds a gazing globe, now a brilliant gold in the +late afternoon sunlight.</i> <span class="smcap">Ohano</span>, <i>with hands clasped round the +globe, is gazing at it. She is a woman of the early twenties, +beautiful and gowned in a flowing kimono-like robe of green with +embroideries of white and blue.</i></p></div> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. [<i>In a chiding, motherly way.</i>] Ohano, my child, you must not be +so much at that evil ball! How many times be I not telling you it is an +<i>enchanted</i> ball?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Yes, Zama, I hope it is enchanted. I've tried every other means +to gain the way to my heart's desire—and they've all failed me. The +story these islanders have woven round this gazing globe may be but a +myth—but if it shows me the way to my freedom, I shall not have looked +at it in vain.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Be you forgetting, child, 'tis said that evil ball shows only the +way to destruction!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Yes, these island people will create any myth, go any length, to +keep one thinking, living in their narrow way. You are destined for evil +if you try to follow the urge of your own heart—oh, yes, I know.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. But <i>your</i> heart, child, should only be wanting the love of Nijo.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Nijo—I am hoping that he will be big enough to help me—but my +lover has been away so long——</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. But to-day he be coming back—I came to tell you I think I saw his +boat——</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Nijo's boat? Where?</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. It be near the edge of the island just where——</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Why didn't you tell me before?</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. I came to—but I be forgetting when I see you at that evil ball +again.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>All eagerness.</i>] Perhaps we can see him land—from here on the +rocks—come, Zama, I hear the sound of voices down near the sea—come! +[<i>They climb to the highest rock.</i>] Look, Zama, the boat is there! +Already there in the green water against the shore!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. It do seem to be so.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Peers toward right.</i></p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. And <i>there</i>—is Nijo!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Where, where, child?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. There—see, he's just coming ashore—oh, Nijo!<a name="page_145" id="page_145"></a> And look, Zama, +look what the people crowding round him have done—look!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. What? My poor eyes be yet uncertain. What do they be doing to your +lover?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. They have put upon him the Robe of Flame—to greet him with the +highest honor of the island.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. So they be. The robe they say the gods themselves did wear when +time did first begin. Nijo must come back a great warrior now—a great +warrior!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Oh, how wonderful to return from the wars like that! Zama, I want +to—I <i>must</i> go out into the world and do great things too, like Nijo.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Nijo be coming back, child. That do be enough. Look, what is it +that glitters so in the sun?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Why, they are giving something to my red god—something that's +long as a serpent moon—see, he holds it out in admiration, before him. +Just what can it be?</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. In faith I do believe they have given your hero—a sword!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. A marvellous sword—look, its jewels flash with the shifting +lights, warm as the colored rifts of sunset!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Such gems do be a tribute to his greatness, Ohano, they do.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. How gladly would I have the way I seek without such tribute—how +willingly!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. And now the crowd do be parting—he leaves the boat and he looks +this way, Ohano—he looks!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Nijo, my red wonder of the world!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. See, he mounts his steed—he waves to you!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Nijo! Nijo!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. And now he rides off to come to you here. It is better we be +waiting inside for him—when he brings back his love to his promised +bride.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>As they enter room.</i>] Ah, Zama, he must bring me<a name="page_146" id="page_146"></a> more than +love this time—much more. Yes, your little Ohano must have more in her +life to-day than just love—and Nijo must show her the way to that realm +where she may stretch her soul and <i>live</i>!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. The love of so great a man do be enough for any woman, child.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Oh, no—oh, no——</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. But it do be; and evil will fall, I know, if you do be asking more +than love!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. But I tell you, Nijo's love is not enough. I must have a bigger, +greater thing!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. The gods do know of none that be more than love.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. But there must be, else why would I feel the rush of its pulse +within my veins? Why would my whole being cry out for action and the +glory of doing big things in the lands across the sea? Why, tell me why, +I would feel those things if they were not so?</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. It be not for me to say, child; but I do be thinking you moon at +that evil ball too much. It do make your sight grow red! It be not wise +to know an enchanted thing so well.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. If that gazing globe in the garden would only show me the way to +my heart's desire, how gladly would I be the victim of its enchantment!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Nijo's kiss do be your enchantment, child. One touch of his lips +and you do be forgetting all else.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. If Nijo's kiss can make me forget this fever within me, I want +his kiss as I shall never want anything else in all of this life. I want +it!!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Approaching horse's hoofs are heard from off right.</i></p></div> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Listen—the horse! Ohano, your lover do be coming!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Running to the window.</i>] Already? He must have taken the short +way through the cliffs.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Ah, child, do you not be excited as a bird in a storm-wind's +blow?<a name="page_147" id="page_147"></a></p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Superbly, as she leans against window.</i>] Yes, I await my hero!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. He's stopped, child! He do be here! At last he comes back to my +little Ohano!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. My hope comes! [<i>With outstretched arms to right.</i>] My Nijo!! +Oh——!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She had impulsively started to greet</i> <span class="smcap">Nijo</span>, <i>but suddenly shrinks +back</i>.</p></div> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. What do be wrong—what?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. He's so different—so changed—oh, here he is—ssh!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Nijo</span> <i>appears at the window, where he pauses for a moment. He is a +tall, brunette man, scarcely thirty—a handsome, well-knit southern +island type, wearing a flowing robe of flame, with a flaring collar +of old-gold brocade. A peaked hat completes the costume. A curved +sword, with a hilt thickly studded with large jewels and incased in +gold, hangs at his belt. He seems worldly weary and sad as he +advances into the room.</i></p></div> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Nijo!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Unimpassioned.</i>] Ohano.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Eagerly.</i>] You have come back!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. Yes—and the season of the heat has been gracious to your health, +I hope?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Yes—and yours, Nijo?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. The same.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Oh, I am glad—glad as tree-blossoms for the kiss of spring. And +Zama here shares my welcome, don't you?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Recognizing</i> <span class="smcap">Zama</span>.] Ah, Zama.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. [<i>Bowing before him.</i>] The gods do be kind to bring back a hero to +us.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. Thank you.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Now I do be going for refreshments for your weariness; <a name="page_148" id="page_148"></a>great it +must be after so long a voyage.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Exits right.</i></p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Shall we not sit here?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. As you will.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Ohano</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Nijo</span> <i>sit upon mats near the window, partly facing +each other</i>.</p></div> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. They—they gave you a sword at the boat.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Wearily.</i>] Oh, yes.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Even from up here we could see its jewels flash.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Without interest.</i>] Yes, it is cunningly conceived.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. How wonderful it must be. Perhaps—I may see it?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Still wearily.</i>] If you so desire.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Unbuckles sword and holds it before himself for her to examine. +She leans over it admiringly, touching the jewels as she speaks of +them.</i></p></div> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Magnificent! Rubies and emeralds and sapphires! And here are +moonstones and diamonds. How you must prize it.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Wearily.</i>] Of course, one must.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. And the very people who tried to stop you from going across the +sea to win your glory have given it to you.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. That is the way of the world.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Show me the way to glory, Nijo.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. And why?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. I would travel it too.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. You—a simple island maiden?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. I'm not simple. I've grown beyond the people here.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. But there is glory in the work women must do at home.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. And I have done my share of it. I want bigger work now—out in +the world.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. But the simple tasks must be done.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. I am sick unto death of doing them!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. But you can't go into the battles of the world. You are an island +woman.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. This last war has made all women free. If the other island women +cling to the everlasting tradition that woman should not go beyond her +native hearth, let them cling. I shall<a name="page_149" id="page_149"></a> reach the summit of things and +know the glory of doing big things in the world!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. But you—sheltered, protected all your life—how can you do it?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. That's what troubles me. But you were fettered by this island +life and you broke through the bars of convention. How did <i>you</i> do it?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Sadly.</i>] Ohano, I would not spoil your life by telling you.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Spoil it? What do you think is happening to it now? Oh, Nijo, +can't you understand I'm stagnating—<i>dying</i> in this commonplace island +life.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. I thought that about myself, too, when I started my climb to +glory; but scarcely a moon had passed before I realized the loneliness +of great heights.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Tigerishly.</i>] Are you trying to turn me from my wish—to have +all the island's glory for yourself?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. No, but only the valley people enjoy the sublimity of a mountain.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Scornfully.</i>] Ha!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. Those who reach the top have lost their perspective. All they see +are the lonely tops of other mountains.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Sublimely.</i>] But they've had the joy of the climb!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. And worth what—no more than the mist of the sea.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Do you think that satisfies me? I want to find out for myself! I +only want you to tell me the way to use this spirit that boils within my +blood, thirsts for action!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. That I never will.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Oh, what shall I do? I've even implored the sun and the moon! +[<i>Looks toward sea.</i>] Now I <i>must</i> listen to my dreams—my dreams that +cry and cry: "Look in the gazing globe! Look in the gazing globe! It +will show you the way!" And if it ever does, I'll take that path <i>no +matter where it leads</i>.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. My journey only made me want to come back to the<a name="page_150" id="page_150"></a> haven of your +love, Ohano. The amber cup of glory left me athirst to be wrapped in the +mantle of your boundless love and warmed with the glow of your heart.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Surprised.</i>] Your journey has really led you back to me?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Sadly.</i>] You're my only hope. I've been as mad for you as the +sea for the moonlight.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Disturbed.</i>] But you had fire and impulse when you went away; +and now—well, you do still yearn for me?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Quietly, without passion.</i>] The hope for your love has been the +light of my brain, changing from life to dream, from earth to star.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. My thirst for glory has been that way; but Zama tells me it is as +nothing in the kiss of love. If love has that power, I am willing to +forget all else. Kiss me, Nijo!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. At last my lips will press yours, as the sun flames to an immortal +moment when it meets the sky.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Kneeling opposite each other, their lips meet.</i> <span class="smcap">Ohano</span> <i>instantly +gives a piercing scream and recoils from him</i>. <span class="smcap">Nijo</span> <i>sinks into a +heap</i>.</p></div> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Rising and turning toward the sea, weeping.</i>] Oh, oh, oh!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. [<i>Rushing in from right.</i>] What is it? What is it, Ohano?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Still weeping.</i>] Oh—ooh.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. What do it be, my little Ohano?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Turning.</i>] His kiss—Nijo's kiss!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Yes?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Cold as white marble—<i>cold</i>!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Cold as white marble?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Oh, Nijo, why do you kiss me like a thing of stone?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>As he looks up, pitifully.</i>] Into that kiss I tried to put all +the love I've thought these many years.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. The love you've <i>thought</i>?<a name="page_151" id="page_151"></a></p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Despondently.</i>] Yes, I've only thought it—<i>thought</i> it!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. But your heart——?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Rising.</i>] My heart feels no more! Only my head thinks.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. You love no more?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. Only with my head, it seems. I see things, know things, understand +things; but I no longer feel anything. And my thirst for glory has done +it all—killed my love of life and turned my very kiss to stone. Oh, +glory, why do men give the essence of their lives to you—you who last +no longer than the glow of gold above the place of sunset!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Superbly.</i>] Because glory gives you the world—everything!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. It takes everything away—strips you—and leaves you nothing to +believe. Oh, I could have become a common soldier here, marching +shoulder to shoulder with the island men going out to war—but no—I +must be a great warrior, a hero in position. Had I known then what I +know now, how gladly would I have gone as one of the thousands who are +known as—just soldiers. They are the ones who know the throb of life +and love!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. You bring back such a message to me? You who have climbed and +climbed to heights till I have believed you to be as constant in your +quest as the light that shines upon the gazing globe?</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. I—a light?</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. Why not? I've always likened your feet unto the disks of two +luminaries, lighting the way for all the world to follow. [<i>Looks at +gazing globe, which is now a ball of gold against the black sea and +sky.</i>] And now you tell me I was wrong. Perhaps the light upon the +gazing globe itself is the only one to follow.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. I—a light? Why, Ohano, if I'm anything, I'm a gazing globe!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. What do you mean—you a gazing globe?<a name="page_152" id="page_152"></a></p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. That without I'm all fair, all wonderful—but within I'm empty as +a gazing globe.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Scornfully.</i>] But a gazing globe shows men the way to their +heart's desire.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. It reflects to men what they see into it. So does glory.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. I can't believe that—now.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. Behold what it has done to me! Already as a child I gazed at that +globe, longing to grasp the glory of which it was a symbol. It filled me +with a red madness, surged with an unbearable music, giving me a riotous +pain! Oh, it made me drunk for the wine of glory!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. I know! I know! Now you talk as the man I thought you were.</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. I'm not a man. I'm dead.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. But you have known the glory of life. Shall I never know the way +to it? [<i>Appealingly, to the globe.</i>] The way—the way is what I seek!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Look not so upon the evil ball, child. It do be enchanted for one +thousand years! [<span class="smcap">Ohano</span> <i>moves nearer the globe</i>.] Go not so near, child! +Evil will fall—and you will be enslaved!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. What care I, if it shows me the way?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Hands outstretched to the +globe.</i></p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. [<i>Appealingly to</i> <span class="smcap">Nijo</span>.] Sir, I pray you do be stopping her. She +do be always gazing at that golden ball; and slowly it do be drawing her +within its enchanted grasp. And it do be an enchanted ball!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. Perhaps there's more to its enchantment than I thought. It claimed +me for a victim—and now it's freezing her life's warmth to the +falseness of Orient pearl.</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Murmuring to the globe.</i>] The way—the way! I must have the +way!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Swiftly drawing his sword.</i>] I will not show you—but I'll save +you!</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Starts toward the gazing globe.</i></p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. [<i>Barring his path.</i>] Nijo, sir, what do you be doing?<a name="page_153" id="page_153"></a></p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>With a flourish of his sword.</i>] I kill the thing that freezes +another heart!</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. That do mean ruin! It be an enchanted ball!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Brushing past</i> <span class="smcap">Zama</span>.] It will enchant no longer!!</p> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. No! No, Nijo!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Running up pedestal steps.</i>] Yes!!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>With a mighty blow he strikes the gazing globe with his sword. +Frightened</i>, <span class="smcap">Ohano</span> <i>shrinks to one side, facing right, as a +thunder-like crash follows the blow, and pieces of the globe tumble +to the ground—all but one piece that remains upon the pedestal. +Then from a moon off stage right shines a straight golden path +across the sea to the bit of gazing globe on the pedestal.</i></p></div> + +<p>O<small>HANO</small>. [<i>Triumphantly.</i>] The moon—The way! At last the way! From the +gazing globe—the golden path to the moon of glory. Now I am free!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Rushes wildly down the moonlight path to the sea.</i></p></div> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. Stop her!</p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. No, it is better to let her go.</p> + +<p>Z<small>AMA</small>. But the path do lead into the sea. It is death! Stop her!!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Starts forward.</i></p> + +<p>N<small>IJO</small>. [<i>Restraining</i> <span class="smcap">Zama</span>.] No! In death her soul has found the only +way!</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_154" id="page_154"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_155" id="page_155"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +THE BOOR<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +<br /> +ANTON TCHEKOV</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>The Boor</i> is reprinted by special permission of Barrett H. Clark and of +Samuel French, publisher, New York City. All rights reserved. For +permission to perform, address Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th Street, +New York City.</p></div> + +<p><a name="page_156" id="page_156"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_157" id="page_157"></a></p> + +<p class="cb">ANTON TCHEKOV</p> + +<p>Anton Tchekov, considered the foremost of contemporary Russian +dramatists, was born in 1860 at Taganrog, Russia. In 1880 he was +graduated from the Medical School of the University of Moscow. Ill +health soon compelled him to abandon his practice of medicine, and in +1887 he sought the south. In 1904, the year of the successful appearance +of his <i>Cherry Orchard</i>, he died in a village of the Black Forest in +Germany.</p> + +<p>As a dramatist, Tchekov has with deliberate intent cast off much of the +conventionalities of dramatic technic. In his longer plays especially, +like <i>The Sea Gull</i>, <i>Uncle Vanya</i>, and <i>Cherry Orchard</i>, he somewhat +avoids obvious struggles, time-worn commonplaces, well-prepared +climaxes, and seeks rather to spread out a panoramic canvas for our +contemplation. His chief aim is to show us humanity as he sees it. It is +his interest in humanity that gives him so high rank as a dramatist.</p> + +<p>His one-act plays, a form of drama unusually apt for certain intimate +aspects of Russian peasant life, are more regular in their technic than +his longer plays. Among the five or six shorter plays that Tchekov +wrote, <i>The Boor</i> and <i>A Marriage Proposal</i> are his best. In these plays +he shows the lighter side of Russian country life, infusing some of the +spirit of the great Gogol into his broad and somewhat farcical character +portrayals. With rare good grace, in these plays he appears to be asking +us to throw aside our restraint and laugh with him at the stupidity and +naïveté, as well as good-heartedness, of the Russian people he knew so +well.</p> + +<p><i>The Boor</i> is a remarkably well-constructed one-act play, and is +probably the finest one-act play of the Russian school of drama.<a name="page_158" id="page_158"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">PERSONS IN THE PLAY</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Helena Ivanovna Popov</span>, <i>a young widow, mistress of a country estate</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Grigori Stepanovitch Smirnov</span>, <i>proprietor of a country estate</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Luka</span>, <i>servant of</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Popov</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><i>A gardener.</i> <i>A coachman.</i> <i>Several workmen.</i></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_159" id="page_159"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="THE_BOOR" id="THE_BOOR"></a>THE BOOR</h2> + +<p class="hang">TIME: <i>The present.</i></p> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>A well-furnished reception-room in</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Popov's</span> <i>home</i>. +<span class="smcap">Mrs. Popov</span> <i>is discovered in deep mourning, sitting upon a sofa, +gazing steadfastly at a photograph</i>. <span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>is also present</i>.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. It isn't right, ma'am. You're wearing yourself out! The maid and +the cook have gone looking for berries; everything that breathes is +enjoying life; even the cat knows how to be happy—slips about the +courtyard and catches birds—but you hide yourself here in the house as +though you were in a cloister. Yes, truly, by actual reckoning you +haven't left this house for a whole year.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. And I shall never leave it—why should I? My life is over. +He lies in his grave, and I have buried myself within these four walls. +We are both dead.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. There you are again! It's too awful to listen to, so it is! +Nikolai Michailovitch is dead; it was the will of the Lord, and the Lord +has given him eternal peace. You have grieved over it and that ought to +be enough. Now it's time to stop. One can't weep and wear mourning +forever! My wife died a few years ago. I grieved for her. I wept a whole +month—and then it was over. Must one be forever singing lamentations? +That would be more than your husband was worth! [<i>He sighs.</i>] You have +forgotten all your neighbors. You don't go out and you receive no one. +We live—you'll pardon me—like the spiders, and the good light of day +we never see. All the livery is eaten by the mice—as though there +weren't any more nice people in the world! But the whole neighborhood is +full of<a name="page_160" id="page_160"></a> gentlefolk. The regiment is stationed in +Riblov—officers—simply beautiful! One can't see enough of them! Every +Friday a ball, and military music every day. Oh, my dear, dear ma'am, +young and pretty as you are, if you'd only let your spirits live—! +Beauty can't last forever. When ten short years are over, you'll be glad +enough to go out a bit and meet the officers—and then it'll be too +late.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Resolutely.</i>] Please don't speak of these things again. +You know very well that since the death of Nikolai Michailovitch my life +is absolutely nothing to me. You think I live, but it only seems so. Do +you understand? Oh, that his departed soul may see how I love him! I +know, it's no secret to you; he was often unjust toward me, cruel, +and—he wasn't faithful, but I shall be faithful to the grave and prove +to him how <i>I</i> can love. There, in the Beyond, he'll find me the same as +I was until his death.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. What is the use of all these words, when you'd so much rather go +walking in the garden or order Tobby or Welikan harnessed to the trap, +and visit the neighbors?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Weeping.</i>] Oh!</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. Madam, dear madam, what is it? In Heaven's name!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. He loved Tobby so! He always drove him to the Kortschagins +or the Vlassovs. What a wonderful horse-man he was! How fine he looked +when he pulled at the reins with all his might! Tobby, Tobby—give him +an extra measure of oats to-day!</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. Yes, ma'am.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>A bell rings loudly.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Shudders.</i>] What's that? I am at home to no one.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. Yes, ma'am. [<i>He goes out, centre.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Gazing at the photograph.</i>] You shall see, Nikolai, how I +can love and forgive! My love will die only with me<a name="page_161" id="page_161"></a>—when my poor heart +stops beating. [<i>She smiles through her tears.</i>] And aren't you ashamed? +I have been a good, true wife; I have imprisoned myself and I shall +remain true until death, and you—you—you're not ashamed of yourself, +my dear monster! You quarrelled with me, left me alone for weeks——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>enters in great excitement</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. Oh, ma'am, some one is asking for you, insists on seeing you——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. You told him that since my husband's death I receive no one?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. I said so, but he won't listen; he says it is a pressing matter.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I receive no one!</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. I told him that, but he's a wild man; he swore and pushed himself +into the room; he's in the dining-room now.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Excitedly.</i>] Good. Show him in. The impudent——!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>goes out, centre</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. What a bore people are! What can they want with me? Why do +they disturb my peace? [<i>She sighs.</i>] Yes, it is clear I must enter a +convent. [<i>Meditatively.</i>] Yes, a convent.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Smirnov</span> <i>enters, followed by</i> <span class="smcap">Luka</span>.</p></div> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [To <span class="smcap">Luka.</span>] Fool, you make too much noise! You're an ass! +[<i>Discovering</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Popov</span>—<i>politely</i>.] Madam, I have the honor to +introduce myself: Lieutenant in the Artillery, retired, country +gentleman, Grigori Stepanovitch Smirnov! I'm compelled to bother you +about an exceedingly important matter.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Without offering her hand.</i>] What is it you wish?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Your deceased husband, with whom I had the honor to be +acquainted, left me two notes amounting to about twelve hundred roubles. +Inasmuch as I have to pay the interest<a name="page_162" id="page_162"></a> to-morrow on a loan from the +Agrarian Bank, I should like to request, madam, that you pay me the +money to-day.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Twelve hundred—and for what was my husband indebted to you?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. He bought oats from me.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>With a sigh, to</i> <span class="smcap">Luka</span>.] Don't forget to give Tobby an +extra measure of oats.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>goes out</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Smirnov</span>.] If Nikolai Michailovitch is indebted to you, +I shall, of course, pay you, but I am sorry, I haven't the money to-day. +To-morrow my manager will return from the city and I shall notify him to +pay you what is due you, but until then I cannot satisfy your request. +Furthermore, to-day it is just seven months since the death of my +husband, and I am not in a mood to discuss money matters.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. And I am in the mood to fly up the chimney with my feet in the +air if I can't lay hands on that interest to-morrow. They'll seize my +estate!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Day after to-morrow you will receive the money.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. I don't need the money day after to-morrow; I need it to-day.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I'm sorry I can't pay you to-day.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. And I can't wait until day after to-morrow.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. But what can I do if I haven't it?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. So you can't pay?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I cannot.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Hm! Is that your last word?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. My last.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Absolutely?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Absolutely.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Thank you. [<i>He shrugs his shoulders.</i>] And they expect me to +stand for all that. The toll-gatherer just now met me in the road and +asked me why I was always worrying.<a name="page_163" id="page_163"></a> Why, in Heaven's name, shouldn't I +worry? I need money, I feel the knife at my throat. Yesterday morning I +left my house in the early dawn and called on all my debtors. If even +one of them had paid his debt! I worked the skin off my fingers! The +devil knows in what sort of Jew-inn I slept; in a room with a barrel of +brandy! And now at last I come here, seventy versts from home, hope for +a little money, and all you give me is moods! Why shouldn't I worry?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I thought I made it plain to you that my manager will return +from town, and then you will get your money.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. I did not come to see the manager; I came to see you. What the +devil—pardon the language—do I care for your manager?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Really, sir, I am not used to such language or such manners. +I shan't listen to you any further.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She goes out, left.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. What can one say to that? Moods! Seven months since her husband +died! Do I have to pay the interest or not? I repeat the question, have +I to pay the interest or not? The husband is dead and all that; the +manager is—the devil with him!—travelling somewhere. Now, tell me, +what am I to do? Shall I run away from my creditors in a balloon? Or +knock my head against a stone wall? If I call on Grusdev he chooses to +be "not at home," Iroschevitch has simply hidden himself, I have +quarrelled with Kurzin and came near throwing him out of the window, +Masutov is ill and this woman has—moods! Not one of them will pay up! +And all because I've spoiled them, because I'm an old whiner, dish-rag! +I'm too tender-hearted with them. But wait! I allow nobody to play +tricks with me, the devil with 'em all! I'll stay here and not budge +until she pays! Brr! How angry I am, how terribly angry I am! Every +tendon is trembling with anger, and I can hardly breathe! I'm even +growing ill! [<i>He calls out.</i>] Servant!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>enters</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. What is it you wish?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Bring me Kvas or water! [<span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>goes out</i>.] Well, what can we +do? She hasn't it on hand? What sort of logic is that? A fellow stands +with the knife at his throat, he needs money, he is on the point of +hanging himself, and she won't pay because she isn't in the mood to +discuss money matters. Woman's logic! That's why I never liked to talk +to women, and why I dislike doing it now. I would rather sit on a powder +barrel than talk with a woman. Brr!—I'm getting cold as ice; this +affair has made me so angry. I need only to see such a romantic creature +from a distance to get so angry that I have cramps in the calves! It's +enough to make one yell for help!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Luka</span>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. [<i>Hands him water.</i>] Madam is ill and is not receiving.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. March! [<span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>goes out</i>.] Ill and isn't receiving! All right, +it isn't necessary. I won't receive, either! I'll sit here and stay +until you bring that money. If you're ill a week, I'll sit here a week. +If you're ill a year, I'll sit here a year. As Heaven is my witness, +I'll get the money. You don't disturb me with your mourning—or with +your dimples. We know these dimples! [<i>He calls out the window.</i>] Simon, +unharness! We aren't going to leave right away. I am going to stay here. +Tell them in the stable to give the horses some oats. The left horse has +twisted the bridle again. [<i>Imitating him.</i>] Stop! I'll show you how. +Stop! [<i>Leaves window.</i>] It's awful. Unbearable heat, no money, didn't +sleep last night and now—mourning-dresses with moods. My head aches; +perhaps I ought to have a drink. Ye-s, I must have a drink. [<i>Calling.</i>] +Servant!</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. What do you wish?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Something to drink! [<span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>goes out</i>. <span class="smcap">Smirnov</span> <i>sits down and +looks at his clothes</i>.] Ugh, a fine figure! No use denying that. Dust, +dirty boots, unwashed, uncombed, straw on my vest—the lady probably +took me for a highwayman. [<i>He yawns.</i>] It was a little impolite to come +into a reception-room<a name="page_165" id="page_165"></a> with such clothes. Oh, well, no harm done. I'm +not here as a guest. I'm a creditor. And there is no special costume for +creditors.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. [<i>Entering with glass.</i>] You take great liberty, sir.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Angrily.</i>] What?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. I—I—I just——</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Whom are you talking to? Keep quiet.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. [<i>Angrily.</i>] Nice mess! This fellow won't leave!</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>He goes out.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Lord, how angry I am! Angry enough to throw mud at the whole +world! I even feel ill! Servant!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Popov</span> <i>comes in with downcast eyes</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Sir, in my solitude I have become unaccustomed to the human +voice and I cannot stand the sound of loud talking. I beg you, please to +cease disturbing my rest.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Pay me my money and I'll leave.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I told you once, plainly, in your native tongue, that I +haven't the money at hand; wait until day after to-morrow.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. And I also had the honor of informing you in your native tongue +that I need the money, not day after to-morrow, but to-day. If you don't +pay me to-day I shall have to hang myself to-morrow.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. But what can I do if I haven't the money?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. So you are not going to pay immediately? You're not?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I cannot.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Then I'll sit here until I get the money. [<i>He sits down.</i>] You +will pay day after to-morrow? Excellent! Here I stay until day after +to-morrow. [<i>Jumps up.</i>] I ask you, do I have to pay that interest +to-morrow or not? Or do you think I'm joking?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Sir, I beg of you, don't scream! This is not a stable.<a name="page_166" id="page_166"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. I'm not talking about stables, I'm asking you whether I have to +pay that interest to-morrow or not?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. You have no idea how to treat a lady.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Oh, yes, I have.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. No, you have not. You are an ill-bred, vulgar person! +Respectable people don't speak so to ladies.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. How remarkable! How do you want one to speak to you? In French, +perhaps! Madame, je vous prie! Pardon me for having disturbed you. What +beautiful weather we are having to-day! And how this mourning becomes +you!</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>He makes a low bow with mock ceremony.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Not at all funny! I think it vulgar!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Imitating her.</i>] Not at all funny—vulgar! I don't understand +how to behave in the company of ladies. Madam, in the course of my life +I have seen more women than you have sparrows. Three times have I fought +duels for women, twelve I jilted and nine jilted me. There was a time +when I played the fool, used honeyed language, bowed and scraped. I +loved, suffered, sighed to the moon, melted in love's torments. I loved +passionately, I loved to madness, loved in every key, chattered like a +magpie on emancipation, sacrificed half my fortune in the tender +passion, until now the devil knows I've had enough of it. Your obedient +servant will let you lead him around by the nose no more. Enough! Black +eyes, passionate eyes, coral lips, dimples in cheeks, moonlight +whispers, soft, modest sighs—for all that, madam, I wouldn't pay a +kopeck! I am not speaking of present company, but of women in general; +from the tiniest to the greatest, they are conceited, hypocritical, +chattering, odious, deceitful from top to toe; vain, petty, cruel with a +maddening logic and [<i>he strikes his forehead</i>] in this respect, please +excuse my frankness, but one sparrow is worth ten of the aforementioned +petticoat-philosophers. When one sees one of the romantic creatures +before him he imagines he is looking at some holy being, so wonderful +that its one breath could dissolve<a name="page_167" id="page_167"></a> him in a sea of a thousand charms +and delights; but if one looks into the soul—it's nothing but a common +crocodile. [<i>He seizes the arm-chair and breaks it in two.</i>] But the +worst of all is that this crocodile imagines it is a masterpiece of +creation, and that it has a monopoly on all the tender passions. May the +devil hang me upside down if there is anything to love about a woman! +When she is in love, all she knows is how to complain and shed tears. If +the man suffers and makes sacrifices she swings her train about and +tries to lead him by the nose. You have the misfortune to be a woman, +and naturally you know woman's nature; tell me on your honor, have you +ever in your life seen a woman who was really true and faithful? Never! +Only the old and the deformed are true and faithful. It's easier to find +a cat with horns or a white woodcock, than a faithful woman.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. But allow me to ask, who is true and faithful in love? The +man, perhaps?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Yes, indeed! The man!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. The man! [<i>She laughs sarcastically.</i>] The man true and +faithful in love! Well, that is something <i>new</i>! [<i>Bitterly.</i>] How can +you make such a statement? Men true and faithful! So long as we have +gone thus far, I may as well say that of all the men I have known, my +husband was the best; I loved him passionately with all my soul, as only +a young, sensible woman may love; I gave him my youth, my happiness, my +fortune, my life. I worshipped him like a heathen. And what happened? +This best of men betrayed me in every possible way. After his death I +found his desk filled with love-letters. While he was alive he left me +alone for months—it is horrible even to think about it—he made love to +other women in my very presence, he wasted my money and made fun of my +feelings—and in spite of everything I trusted him and was true to him. +And more than that: he is dead and I am still true to him. I have buried +myself within these four walls and I shall wear this mourning to my +grave.<a name="page_168" id="page_168"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Laughing disrespectfully.</i>] Mourning! What on earth do you +take me for? As if I didn't know why you wore this black domino and why +you buried yourself within these four walls. Such a secret! So romantic! +Some knight will pass the castle, gaze up at the windows, and think to +himself: "Here dwells the mysterious Tamara who, for love of her +husband, has buried herself within four walls." Oh, I understand the +art!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Springing up.</i>] What? What do you mean by saying such +things to me?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. You have buried yourself alive, but meanwhile you have not +forgotten to powder your nose!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. How dare you speak so?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Don't scream at me, please; I'm not the manager. Allow me to +call things by their right names. I am not a woman, and I am accustomed +to speak out what I think. So please don't scream.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I'm not screaming. It is you who are screaming. Please leave +me, I beg of you.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Pay me my money and I'll leave.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I won't give you the money.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. You won't? You won't give me my money?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I don't care what you do. You won't get a kopeck! Leave me!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. As I haven't the pleasure of being either your husband or your +fiancé, please don't make a scene. [<i>He sits down.</i>] I can't stand it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Breathing hard.</i>] You are going to sit down?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. I already have.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Kindly leave the house!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Give me the money.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I don't care to speak with impudent men. Leave! [<i>Pause.</i>] +You aren't going?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. No.<a name="page_169" id="page_169"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. No?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. No.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Very well.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>She rings the bell.</i></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Luka</span>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Luka, show the gentleman out.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. [<i>Going to</i> <span class="smcap">Smirnov</span>.] Sir, why don't you leave when you are +ordered? What do you want?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Jumping up.</i>] Whom do you think you are talking to? I'll +grind you to powder.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. [<i>Puts his hand to his heart.</i>] Good Lord! [<i>He drops into a +chair.</i>] Oh, I'm ill; I can't breathe!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Where is Dascha? [<i>Calling.</i>] Dascha! Pelageja! Dascha!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She rings.</i></p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. They're all gone! I'm ill! Water!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Smirnov</span>.] Leave! Get out!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Kindly be a little more polite!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Striking her fists and stamping her feet.</i>] You are +vulgar! You're a boor! A monster!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. What did you say?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. I said you were a boor, a monster!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Steps toward her quickly.</i>] Permit me to ask what right you +have to insult me?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. What of it? Do you think I am afraid of you?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. And you think that because you are a romantic creature you can +insult me without being punished? I challenge you!</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. Merciful Heaven! Water!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. We'll have a duel.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Do you think because you have big fists and a steer's neck I +am afraid of you?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. I allow no one to insult me, and I make no exception because +you are a woman, one of the "weaker sex"!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Trying to cry him down.</i>] Boor, boor, boor!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. It is high time to do away with the old superstition<a name="page_170" id="page_170"></a> that it +is only the man who is forced to give satisfaction. If there is equity +at all let there be equity in all things. There's a limit!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. You wish to fight a duel? Very well.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Immediately.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Immediately. My husband had pistols. I'll bring them. [<i>She +hurries away, then turns.</i>] Oh, what a pleasure it will be to put a +bullet in your impudent head. The devil take you!</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>She goes out.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. I'll shoot her down! I'm no fledgling, no sentimental young +puppy. For me there is no weaker sex!</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. Oh, sir. [<i>Falls to his knees.</i>] Have mercy on me, an old man, and +go away. You have frightened me to death already, and now you want to +fight a duel.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Paying no attention.</i>] A duel. That's equity, emancipation. +That way the sexes are made equal. I'll shoot her down as a matter of +principle. What can a person say to such a woman? [<i>Imitating her.</i>] +"The devil take you. I'll put a bullet in your impudent head." What can +one say to that? She was angry, her eyes blazed, she accepted the +challenge. On my honor, it's the first time in my life that I ever saw +such a woman.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. Oh, sir. Go away. Go away!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. That <i>is</i> a woman. I can understand her. A real woman. No +shilly-shallying, but fire, powder, and noise! It would be a pity to +shoot a woman like that.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. [<i>Weeping.</i>] Oh, sir, go away.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Popov</span>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Here are the pistols. But before we have our duel, please +show me how to shoot. I have never had a pistol in my hand before!</p> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. God be merciful and have pity upon us! I'll go and get the +gardener and the coachman. Why has this horror come <a name="page_171" id="page_171"></a>to us?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>He goes out.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Looking at the pistols.</i>] You see, there are different kinds. +There are special duelling pistols, with cap and ball. But these are +revolvers, Smith & Wesson, with ejectors; fine pistols! A pair like that +cost at least ninety roubles. This is the way to hold a revolver. +[<i>Aside.</i>] Those eyes, those eyes! A real woman!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Like this?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Yes, that way. Then you pull the hammer back—so—then you +aim—put your head back a little. Just stretch your arm out, please. +So—then press your finger on the thing like that, and that is all. The +chief thing is this: don't get excited, don't hurry your aim, and take +care that your hand doesn't tremble.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. It isn't well to shoot inside; let's go into the garden.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Yes. I'll tell you now, I am going to shoot into the air.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. That is too much! Why?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Because—because. That's my business.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. You are afraid. Yes. A-h-h-h, No, no, my dear sir, no +flinching! Please follow me. I won't rest until I've made a hole in that +head I hate so much. Are you afraid?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Yes, I'm afraid.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. You are lying. Why won't you fight?</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Because—because—I—like you.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>With an angry laugh.</i>] You like me! He dares to say he +likes me! [<i>She points to the door.</i>] Go.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Laying the revolver silently on the table, takes his hat and +starts. At the door he stops a moment, gazing at her silently, then he +approaches her, hesitating.</i>] Listen! Are you still angry? I was mad as +the devil, but please understand me—how can I express myself? The thing +is like this—such things are—[<i>He raises his voice.</i>] Now, is it my +fault that you owe me money? [<i>Grasps the back of the chair, which +breaks.</i>] The devil<a name="page_172" id="page_172"></a> knows what breakable furniture you have! I like +you! Do you understand? I—I'm almost in love!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Leave! I hate you.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Lord! What a woman! I never in my life met one like her. I'm +lost, ruined! I've been caught like a mouse in a trap.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Go, or I'll shoot.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Shoot! You have no idea what happiness it would be to die in +sight of those beautiful eyes, to die from the revolver in this little +velvet hand! I'm mad! Consider it and decide immediately, for if I go +now, we shall never see each other again. Decide—speak—- I am a noble, +a respectable man, have an income of ten thousand, can shoot a coin +thrown into the air. I own some fine horses. Will you be my wife?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Swings the revolver angrily.</i>] I'll shoot!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. My mind is not clear—I can't understand. Servant—water! I +have fallen in love like any young man. [<i>He takes her hand and she +cries with pain.</i>] I love you! [<i>He kneels.</i>] I love you as I have never +loved before. Twelve women I jilted, nine jilted me, but not one of them +all have I loved as I love you. I am conquered, lost; I lie at your feet +like a fool and beg for your hand. Shame and disgrace! For five years I +haven't been in love; I thanked the Lord for it, and now I am caught, +like a carriage tongue in another carriage. I beg for your hand! Yes or +no? Will you?—Good!</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>He gets up and goes quickly to the door.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Wait a moment!</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Stopping.</i>] Well?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Nothing. You may go. But—wait a moment. No, go on, go on. I +hate you. Or—no; don't go. Oh, if you knew how angry I was, how angry! +[<i>She throws the revolver on to the chair.</i>] My finger is swollen from +this thing. [<i>She angrily tears her handkerchief.</i>] What are you +standing there for? Get out!<a name="page_173" id="page_173"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. Farewell!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Yes, go. [<i>Cries out.</i>] Why are you going? Wait—no, go!! +Oh, how angry I am! Don't come too near, don't come too +near—er—come—no nearer.</p> + +<p>S<small>MIRNOV</small>. [<i>Approaching her.</i>] How angry I am with myself! Fall in love +like a schoolboy, throw myself on my knees. I've got a chill! +[<i>Strongly.</i>] I love you. This is fine—all I needed was to fall in +love. To-morrow I have to pay my interest, the hay harvest has begun, +and then you appear! [<i>He takes her in his arms.</i>] I can never forgive +myself.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. Go away! Take your hands off me! I hate you—you—this +is—</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>A long kiss.</i></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Luka</span> <i>with an axe, the gardener with a rake, the coachman +with a pitchfork, and workmen with poles</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>UKA</small>. [<i>Staring at the pair.</i>] Merciful heavens!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>A long pause.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. P<small>OPOV</small>. [<i>Dropping her eyes.</i>] Tell them in the stable that Tobby +isn't to have any oats.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_174" id="page_174"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_175" id="page_175"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +THE LAST STRAW<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +<br /> +BOSWORTH CROCKER</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>The Last Straw</i> is reprinted by special permission of Bosworth Crocker. +All rights reserved. For permission to perform, address the author, care +Society of American Dramatists and Composers, 148 West 45th Street, New +York City.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_176" id="page_176"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_177" id="page_177"></a></p> + +<p class="cb">BOSWORTH CROCKER</p> + +<p>Bosworth Crocker was born March 2, 1882, in Surrey, England. While still +a child he was brought to the United States. He lives in New York City +and may be reached in care of the Society of American Dramatists and +Composers, 148 West 45th Street.</p> + +<p>In addition to <i>Pawns of War</i> and <i>Stone Walls</i>, he has written a number +of one-act plays, <i>The Dog</i>, <i>The First Time</i>, <i>The Cost of a Hat</i>, <i>The +Hour Before</i>, <i>The Baby Carriage</i>, and <i>The Last Straw</i>.</p> + +<p><i>The Last Straw</i>, produced by the Washington Square Players in New York +City, is an excellent one-act tragedy, based upon the psychological law +of suggestion.<a name="page_178" id="page_178"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">CAST</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Friedrich Bauer</span>, <i>janitor of the Bryn Mawr</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Miene</span>, <i>his wife</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Karl</span>, <i>elder son, aged ten</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Fritzi</span>, <i>younger son, aged seven</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Jim Lane</span>, <i>a grocer boy</i></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_179" id="page_179"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="THE_LAST_STRAWG" id="THE_LAST_STRAWG"></a>THE LAST STRAW<a name="FNanchor_G_7" id="FNanchor_G_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_G_7" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[G]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang">TIME: <i>The present day.</i></p> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>The basement of a large apartment-house in New York City.</i></p> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>The kitchen of the Bauer flat in the basement of the Bryn +Mawr. A window at the side gives on an area and shows the walk +above and the houses across the street. Opposite the windows is a +door to an inner room. Through the outer door, in the centre of the +back wall, a dumb-waiter and whistles to tenants can be seen. A +broken milk-bottle lies in a puddle of milk on the cement floor in +front of the dumb-waiter. To the right of the outer door, a +telephone; gas-range on which there are flat-irons heating and +vegetables cooking. To the left of the outer door is an old +sideboard; over it hangs a picture of Schiller. Near the centre of +the room, a little to the right, stands a kitchen table with four +chairs around it. Ironing-board is placed between the kitchen table +and the sink, a basket of dampened clothes under it. A large +calendar on the wall. An alarm-clock on the window-sill. Time: a +little before noon. The telephone rings</i>; <span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>leaves her +ironing and goes to answer it</i>.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. No, Mr. Bauer's out yet. [<i>She listens through the +transmitter.</i>] Thank you, Mrs. Mohler. [<i>Another pause.</i>] I'll tell him +just so soon he comes in—yes, ma'am.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>goes back to her ironing. Grocer boy rushes into +basement, whistling; he puts down his basket, goes up to</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. +Bauer's</span> <i>door and looks in</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Say—where's the boss?<a name="page_180" id="page_180"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. He'll be home soon, I—hope—Jim. What you want?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He stands looking at her with growing sympathy.</i></p></div> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Nothin'. Got a rag 'round here? Dumb-waiter's all wet.... Lot of +groceries for Sawyers.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Without lifting her eyes, mechanically hands him a mop +which hangs beside the door.</i>] Here.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. What's the matter?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Dully.</i>] Huh?</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. [<i>Significantly.</i>] Oh, I know.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. What you know?</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. About the boss. [<span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>looks distressed</i>.] Heard your +friends across the street talkin'.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Bitterly.</i>] Friends!</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Rotten trick to play on the boss, all right, puttin' that old maid +up to get him pinched.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Absently.</i>] Was she an old maid?</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. The cruelty-to-animals woman over there [<i>waves his +hand</i>]—regular old crank. Nies<a name="FNanchor_H_8" id="FNanchor_H_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_H_8" class="fnanchor">[H]</a> put her up to it all right.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. I guess it was his old woman. Nies ain't so bad. She's the +one. Because my two boys dress up a little on Sunday, she don't like it.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Yes, she's sore because the boys told her the boss kicks their +dog.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. He don't do nothin' of the sort—jus' drives it 'way from +the garbage-pails—that's all. We coulda had that dog took up long +ago—they ain't got no license. But Fritz—he's so easy—he jus' takes +it out chasin' the dog and hollerin'.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. That ain't no way. He ought to make the dog holler—good and +hard—once; then it'd keep out of here.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Don't you go to talkin' like that 'round my man. Look at all +this trouble we're in on account of a stray cat.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. I better get busy. They'll be callin' up the store in<a name="page_181" id="page_181"></a> a minute. +That woman's the limit.... Send up the groceries in that slop, she'd +send them down again. High-toned people like her ought to keep maids.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He mops out the lower shelf of the dumb-waiter, then looks at the +broken bottle and the puddle of milk inquiringly.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Taking the mop away from him.</i>] I'll clean that up. I +forgot—in all this trouble.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Whose milk?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. The Mohlers'. That's how it all happened. Somebody upset +their milk on the dumb-waiter and the cat was on the shelf lickin' it +up; my man, not noticin', starts the waiter up and the cat tries to jump +out; the bottle rolls off and breaks. The cat was hurt awful—caught in +the shaft. I don't see how it coulda run after that, but it did—right +into the street, right into that woman—Fritz after it. Then it fell +over. "You did that?" she says to Fritz. "Yes," he says, "I did that." +He didn't say no more, jus' went off, and then after a while they came +for him and—— [<i>She begins to cry softly.</i></p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Brace up; they ain't goin' to do anything to him.... [<i>Comes into +kitchen. Hesitatingly.</i>] Say!... He didn't kick the cat—did he?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Who said so?</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Mrs. Nies—says she saw him from her window.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>As though to herself.</i>] I dunno. [<i>Excitedly.</i>] Of course +he didn't kick that cat. [<i>Again, as though to herself.</i>] Fritz is so +quick-tempered he mighta kicked it 'fore he knew what he was about. No +one'd ever know how good Fritz is unless they lived with him. He never +hurt no one and nothing except himself.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Oh, I'm on to the boss. I never mind his hollerin'.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. If you get a chance, bring me some butter for dinner—a +pound.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. All right. I'll run over with it in ten or fifteen minutes, soon +as I get rid of these orders out here in the wagon.<a name="page_182" id="page_182"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. That'll do.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She moves about apathetically, lays the cloth on the kitchen +table and begins to set it.</i> <span class="smcap">Lane</span> <i>goes to the dumb-waiter, +whistles up the tube, puts the basket of groceries on the shelf of +the dumb-waiter, pulls rope and sends waiter up</i>. <span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> +<i>continues to set the table. Boys from the street suddenly swoop +into the basement and yell</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HORUS OF</small> B<small>OY'S</small> V<small>OICES</small>. Who killed the cat! Who killed the cat!</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. [<i>Letting the rope go and making a dive for the boys.</i>] I'll show +you, you——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They rush out</i>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>stands despairingly in the doorway +shaking her clasped hands</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Those are Nies's boys.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Regular toughs! Call the cop and have 'em pinched if they don't +stop it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. If my man hears them—you know—there'll be more trouble.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. The boss ought to make it hot for them.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Such trouble!</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. [<i>Starts to go.</i>] Well—luck to the boss.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. There ain't no such thing as luck for us.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. Aw, come on....</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Everything's against us. First Fritz's mother dies. We named +the baby after her—Trude.... Then we lost Trude. That finished Fritz. +After that he began this hollerin' business. And now this here +trouble—just when things was goin' half-ways decent for the first time. +[<i>She pushes past him and goes to her ironing.</i></p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. [<i>Shakes his head sympathetically and takes up his basket.</i>] A +pound, you said?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>L<small>ANE</small>. All right. [<i>He starts off and then rushes back.</i>] Here's <a name="page_183" id="page_183"></a>the +boss comin', Mrs. Bauer.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Rushes off again.</i></p> + +<p>L<small>ANE'S</small> V<small>OICE</small>. [<i>Cheerfully.</i>] Hello, there!</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER'S</small> V<small>OICE</small>. [<i>Dull and strained.</i>] Hello!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>comes in. His-naturally bright blue eyes are tired and +lustreless; his strung frame seems to have lost all vigor and +alertness; there in a look of utter despondency on his face.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Closing the door after him.</i>] They let you off?</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>With a hard little laugh.</i>] Yes, they let me off—they let me +off with a fine all right.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Aghast.</i>] They think you did it then.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Harshly.</i>] The judge fined me, I tell you.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Unable to express her poignant sympathy.</i>] Fined you!... +Oh, Fritz!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She lays her hand on his shoulder.</i></p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Roughly, to keep himself from, going to pieces.</i>] That slop out +there ain't cleaned up yet.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. I've been so worried.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>With sudden desperation.</i>] I can't stand it, I tell you.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Well, it's all over now, Fritz.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Yes, it's all over.... it's all up with me.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Fritz!</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. That's one sure thing.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You oughtn't to give up like this.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Pounding on the table.</i>] I tell you I can't hold up my head +again.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Why, Fritz?</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. They've made me out guilty. The judge fined me. Fined me, Miene! +How is that? Can a man stand for that? The woman said I told her +myself—right out—that I did it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. The woman that had you—[<i>he winces as she hesitates</i>] took?</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Damned——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Putting her hand over his mouth.</i>] Hush, Fritz.<a name="page_184" id="page_184"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Why will I hush, Miene? She said I was proud of the job. +[<i>Passionately raising his voice.</i>] The damned interferin'——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Don't holler, Fritz. It's your hollerin' that's made all +this trouble.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Penetrated by her words more and more.</i>] My hollerin'!....</p> + +<p class="r">[The telephone rings; she answers it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Yes, Mrs. Mohler, he's come in now.—Yes.—Won't after +dinner do?—All right.—Thank you, Mrs. Mohler. [<i>She hangs up the +receiver.</i>] Mrs. Mohler wants you to fix her sink right after dinner.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I'm not goin' to do any more fixin' around here.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You hold on to yourself, Fritz; that's no way to talk; Mrs. +Mohler's a nice woman.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I don't want to see no more nice women. [<i>After a pause.</i>] +Hollerin'!—that's what's the matter with me—hollerin', eh? Well, I've +took it all out in hollerin'.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. They hear you and they think you've got no feelings.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>In utter amazement at the irony of the situation.</i>] And I was +goin' after the damned cat to take care of it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Why didn't you tell the judge all about it?</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. They got me rattled among them. The lady was so soft and +pleasant—"He must be made to understand, your honor," she said to the +judge, "that dumb animals has feelin's, too, just as well as human +beings"—<i>Me</i>, Miene—made to understand that! I couldn't say nothin'. +My voice just stuck in my throat.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. What's the matter with you! You oughta spoke up and told the +judge just how it all happened.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I said to myself; I'll go home and put a bullet through my +head—that's the best thing for me now.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>With impatient unbelief.</i>] Ach, Fritz, Fritz!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Clatter of feet.</i></p></div> + +<p>C<small>HORUS OF</small> V<small>OICES</small>. [<i>At the outer door.</i>] Who killed the cat! Who killed +the cat!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>jumps up, pale and shaken with strange rage; she pushes him +gently back into his chair, opens the door, steps out for a moment, +then comes in and leaves the door open behind her</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. You see?... Even the kids ... I'm disgraced all over the place.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. So long as you didn't hurt the cat——</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. What's the difference? Everybody believes it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. No, they don't, Fritz.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. You can't fool me, Miene. I see it in their eyes. They looked +away from me when I was comin' 'round the corner. Some of them kinder +smiled like—[<i>passes his hand over his head</i>]. Even the cop says to me +on the way over, yesterday: "Don't you put your foot in it any more'n +you have to." You see? He thought I did it all right. Everybody believes +it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Putting towels away.</i>] Well, then <i>let</i> them believe +it.... The agent don't believe it.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I dunno. He'da paid my fine anyhow.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. He gave you a good name.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>With indignant derision.</i>] He gave me a good name!... Haven't I +always kept this place all right since we been here? Afterward he said +to me: "I'm surprised at this business, Bauer, very much surprised." +That shows what he thinks. I told him it ain't true, I didn't mean to +hurt it. I saw by his eyes he didn't believe me.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Well, don't you worry any more now.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>To himself.</i>] Hollerin'!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Shuts the door.</i>] Well, now, holler a little if it does +you good.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Nothin's goin' to do me good.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You just put it out of your mind. [<i>The telephone<a name="page_186" id="page_186"></a> rings. +She answers it.</i>] Yes, but he can't come now, Mrs. McAllister. He'll be +up this afternoon.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She hangs up the receiver.</i></p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. And I ain't goin' this afternoon—nowhere.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. It's Mrs. McAllister. Somethin's wrong with her +refrigerator—the water won't run off, she says.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. They can clean out their own drain-pipes.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You go to work and get your mind off this here business.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Staring straight ahead of him.</i>] I ain't goin' 'round among the +people in this house ... to have them lookin' at me ... disgraced like +this.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You want to hold up your head and act as if nothin's +happened.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Nobody spoke to me at the dumb-waiter when I took off the garbage +and paper this morning. Mrs. Mohler always says something pleasant.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You just think that because you're all upset. [<i>The +telephone rings; she goes to it and listens.</i>] Yes, ma'am, I'll see. +Fritz, have you any fine wire? Mrs. McAllister thinks she might try and +fix the drain with it—till you come up.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I got no wire.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Mr. Bauer'll fix it—right after dinner, Mrs. McAllister. +[<i>Impatiently.</i>] He can't find the wire this minute—soon's he eats his +dinner.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Doggedly.</i>] You'll see....</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Soothingly.</i>] Come now, Fritz, give me your hat.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She takes his hat from him.</i></p> + +<p>V<small>OICES IN THE</small> S<small>TREET</small>. [<i>Receding from the front area.</i>] Who killed the +cat! Who killed the cat!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>rushes toward the window in a fury of excitement</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Shouting at the top of his voice.</i>] <i>Verdammte</i> loafers! +<i>Schweine!</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Goes up to him.</i>] Fritz! Fritz!<a name="page_187" id="page_187"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Collapses and drops into chair.</i>] You hear 'em.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Don't pay no attention, then they'll get tired.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Miene, we must go away. I can't stand it here no longer.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. But there's not such another good place, Fritz—and the +movin'....</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I say I can't stand it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Desperately.</i>] It ... it would be just the same any other +place.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Just the same?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Yes, something'd go wrong anyhow.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. You think I'm a regular Jonah.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He shakes his head repeatedly in the affirmative, as though +wholly embracing her point of view.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Folks don't get to know you. They hear you hollerin' 'round +and they think you beat the children and kick the dogs and cats.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Do I ever lick the children when they don't need it?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Not Fritzi.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. You want to spoil Karl. I just touch him with the strap once, a +little—like this [<i>illustrates with a gesture</i>] to scare him, and he +howls like hell.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Yes, and then he don't mind you no more because he knows you +don't mean it.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>To himself.</i>] That's the way it goes ... a man's own wife and +children ...</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Attending to the dinner. Irritably.</i>] Fritz, if you would +clean that up out there—and Mrs. Carroll wants her waste-basket. You +musta forgot to send it up again.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. All right.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He goes out and leaves the door open. She stands her flat-iron on +the ledge of the range to cool and puts her ironing-board away, +watching him at the dumb-waiter while he picks up the glass and +cleans up the milk on the cement<a name="page_188" id="page_188"></a> floor. He disappears for a +moment, then he comes in again, goes to a drawer and takes out rags +and a bottle of polish.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Pushing the clothes-basket out of the way.</i>] This ain't +cleanin' day, Fritz.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Dully, putting the polish back into the drawer.</i>] That's so.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Comforting him.</i>] You've got to eat a good dinner and then +go up-stairs and fix that sink for Mrs. Mohler and the drain for Mrs. +McAllister.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>In a tense voice.</i>] I tell you I can't stand it.... I tell you, +Miene....</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. What now, Fritz?</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. People laugh in my face. [<i>Nods in the direction of the street.</i>] +Frazer's boy standin' on the stoop calls his dog away when it runs up to +me like it always does.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Dogs know better'n men who's good to them.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. He acted like he thought I'd kick it.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You've got all kinds of foolishness in your head now.... You +sent up Carroll's basket?</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. No.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Well——</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>She checks herself.</i></p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. All right.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>He gets up.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. It's settin' right beside the other dumb-waiter, [<i>He goes +out.</i>] Oh, Gott!—Oh, Gott!—Oh, Gott!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span>, <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span>. <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span> <i>is crying</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Running to them.</i>] What's the matter?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She hushes them and carefully closes the door.</i></p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. The boys make fun of us; they mock us.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. They mock us—"Miau! Miau!" they cry, and then they go like +this——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Fritzi</span> <i>imitates kicking and breaks out crying afresh</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Hush, Fritzi, you mustn't let your father hear.<a name="page_189" id="page_189"></a></p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. He'd make them shut up.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. I don't want to go to school this afternoon.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>He doubles his fists.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Turning on him fiercely.</i>] Why not? [<i>In an undertone.</i>] +You talk that way before your little brother.—Have you no sense?</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Beginning to whimper.</i>] I d-d-d-on't want to go to school this +afternoon.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You just go 'long to school and mind your own business.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span>. [<i>Together.</i>] But the boys....</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. They ain't a-goin' to keep it up forever. Don't you answer +them. Just go 'long together and pay no attention.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Then they get fresher and fresher.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Echoing</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span>.] Yes, then they get fresher and fresher.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>begins to take up the dinner. The sound of footfalls +just outside the door is heard.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Go on now, hang up your caps and get ready for your dinners.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. I'm going to tell my papa.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Goes to inner door.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. For God's sake, Fritzi, shut up. You mustn't tell no one. +Papa'd be disgraced all over.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>Coming up to her.</i>] Disgraced?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Hush!</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Why disgraced?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Because there's liars, low-down, snoopin' liars in the +world.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Who's lied, mama?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. The janitress across the street.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Mrs. Nies?</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Calling out.</i>] Henny Nies is a tough.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Looking toward the outer door anxiously and<a name="page_190" id="page_190"></a> shaking her +head threateningly at</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span>.] I give you somethin' if you don't stop +hollerin' out like that.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Who'd she lie to?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Never mind. Go 'long now. It's time you begin to eat.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. What'd she lie about?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Warningly.</i>] S-s-sh! Papa'll be comin' in now in a minute.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. It was Henny Nies set the gang on to us. I coulda licked them all +if I hadn't had to take care of Fritzi.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You'll get a lickin' all right if you don't keep away from +Henny Nies.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Well—if they call me names—and say <i>my</i> father's been to the +station-house for killing a cat ...?</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. Miau! Miau! Miau!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Hold your mouth.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Swaggering.</i>] My father never was in jail—was he, mama?</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Course not.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span>.] Go, wash your hands, Fritzi.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She steers him to the door of the inner room. He exits.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Distressed.</i>] Karl ...</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>Turning to his mother.</i>] Was he, mama?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Papa don't act like he used to. Sometimes I wonder what's +come over him. Of course it's enough to ruin any man's temper, all the +trouble we've had.</p> + +<p>C<small>HORUS OF</small> V<small>OICES</small>. [<i>From the area by the window.</i>] Who killed the cat! +Who killed the cat!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sound of feet clattering up the area steps.</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span> <i>rushes in, +flourishing a revolver</i>.</p></div> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. I shoot them, mama.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Grabbing the revolver.</i>] <i>Mein Gott!</i> Fritzi! Papa's +pistol! [<i>She examines it carefully.</i>] You ever touch that <a name="page_191" id="page_191"></a>again and +I'll ...</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>She menaces him.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Sulkily.</i>] I'll save up my money and buy me one.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Smiling a little to herself.</i>] I see you buyin' one.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Carries revolver into inner room.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>In a loud, voice and as though shooting at</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span>.] Bang! Bang! +Bang!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Karl</span> <i>strikes at</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span>; <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span> <i>dodges</i>.</p></div> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>To his mother as she re-enters.</i>] Trouble with Fritzi is he +don't mind me any more.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You wash your dirty hands and face this minute—d'you hear +me, Fritzi!</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Looking at his hands.</i>] That's ink-stains. I got the highest +mark in spelling to-day. Capital H-e-n-n-y, capital N-i-e-s—Henny Nies, +a bum.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>makes a rush at him, and he runs back into the inner +room</i>.</p></div> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>Sitting down beside the table.</i>] Do we have to go to school this +afternoon?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You have to do what you always do.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Can't we stay home?...</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Fiercely.</i>] Why? Why?</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>Sheepishly.</i>] I ain't feelin' well.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Karlchen!... <i>schäm dich!</i></p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Till the boys forget....</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Papa'd know somethin' was wrong right away. That'd be the +end. You mustn't act as if anything was different from always.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>Indignantly.</i>] Sayin' <i>my</i> father's been to jail!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Karl....</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Papa'd make them stop.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Panic-stricken.</i>] Karl, don't you tell papa nothing.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Not tell papa?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. No.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Why not tell papa?<a name="page_192" id="page_192"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Because——</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Yes, mama?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Because he was arrested yesterday.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<span class="smcap">Shocked.</span>] What for, mama? Why was he——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. For nothing.... It was all a lie.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Well—what was it, mama?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. The cat got hurt in the dumb-waiter—papa didn't mean +to—then they saw papa chasin' it—then it died.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Why did papa chase it?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. To see how it hurt itself.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Whose cat?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. The stray cat.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. The little black cat? Is Blacky dead?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Yes, he died on the sidewalk.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Where was we?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. You was at school.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Papa didn't want us to keep Blacky.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. So many cats and dogs around....</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Wailing at the door.</i>] Blacky was my cat.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. S-s-h! What do you know about Blacky?</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. I was listening. Why did papa kill Blacky?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Hush!</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. Why was papa took to jail?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Fritzi! If papa was to hear....</p> + +<p class="r">[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>goes out</i>.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Sidling up to</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span>.] Miau! Miau!</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. You shut up that. Didn't mama tell you?</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. When I'm a man I'm going to get arrested. I'll shoot Henny Nies.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>Contemptuously.</i>] Yes, you'll do a lot of shooting.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Fritzi</span> <i>punches</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span> <i>in back</i>.</p></div> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>Striking at</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span>.] You're as big a tough as Henny Nies.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Proud of this alleged likeness.</i>] I'm going to be a<a name="page_193" id="page_193"></a> man just +like my father; I'll holler and make them stand around.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. [<i>With conviction.</i>] What you need is a good licking.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Telephone rings</i>; <span class="smcap">Karl</span> <i>goes to it</i>.</p></div> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. No, ma'am, we're just going to eat now.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Sits down beside the table.</i>] Blacky was a nice cat; she +purred just like a steam-engine.</p> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. Mama told you not to bring her in.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. Papa said I could.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>There is the sound of footfalls.</i> <span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>and his wife come in and +close the door behind them</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Putting the dinner on the table.</i>] Come, children. [<i>To</i> +<span class="smcap">Bauer</span>.] Sit down, Fritz.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She serves the dinner.</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span> <i>pulls</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span> <i>out of his father's +chair and pushes him into his own; then he takes his place next to +his mother</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Bauer</span>, <i>who sits looking at his food</i>.] Eat somethin', +Friedrich.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>She sits down.</i></p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I can't eat nothin'. I'm full up to here.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He touches his throat.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. If you haven't done nothin' wrong, why do you let it worry +you so?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Children are absorbed in eating.</i></p></div> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Suddenly.</i>] Gee, didn't Blacky like liver!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span> <i>look at him warningly</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Fiercely.</i>] You eat your dinner.</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Affectionately, laying his hand on</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi's</span> <i>arm</i>.] Fritzi.</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Points toward the inner room.</i>] I'm going to have a gun, too, +when I'm a man.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>follows</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi's</span> <i>gesture and falls to musing. There is a +look of brooding misery on his face.</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span> <i>nudges</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span> +<i>warningly and watches his father furtively</i>. <span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>sits +motionless, staring straight ahead of him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Bauer</span>.] Now drink your coffee.<a name="page_194" id="page_194"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. Don't you see, Miene, don't you see?... Nothing makes it right +now; no one believes me—no one believes—no one.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. What do you care, if you didn't do it?</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I care like hell.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>With a searching took at her husband.</i>] Fritzi, when you +go on like this, people won't believe you didn't do it. You ought to act +like you don't care.... [<i>She fixes him with a beseeching glance.</i>] If +you <i>didn't</i> do it.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>looks at his wife as though a hidden meaning to her words +had suddenly bitten into his mind</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>As though to himself.</i>] A man can't stand that. I've gone +hungry ... I've been in the hospital ... I've worked when I couldn't +stand up hardly....</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Coaxingly.</i>] Drink your coffee, drink it now, Fritz, while +it's hot.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He tries to swallow a little coffee and then puts down the cup.</i></p></div> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I've never asked favors of no man.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. Well, an' if you did ...</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I've always kept my good name ...</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. If a man hasn't done nothin' wrong it don't matter. Just go +ahead like always—if——</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Muttering.</i>] If—if——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>To the boys.</i>] Get your caps now, it's time to go to +school.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Karl</span> <i>gets up, passes behind his father and beckons to</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span> <i>to +follow him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. [<i>Keeping his seat.</i>] Do we have to go to school?</p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Suddenly alert.</i>] Why, what's the matter?</p> + +<p>F<small>RITZI</small>. The boys——</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Breaking in.</i>] Fritzi!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The boys go into the inner room.</i> <span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>collapses again</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Looking at him strangely.</i>] Fritzi—if you didn't——<a name="page_195" id="page_195"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>AUER</small>. I can't prove nothing—and no one believes me. [<i>A pause. She is +silent under his gaze.</i>] No one! [<i>He waits for her to speak. She sits +with averted face. He sinks into a dull misery. The expression in his +eyes changes from beseeching to despair as her silence continues, and he +cries out hoarsely.</i>] No one! Even if you kill a cat—what's a cat +against a man's life!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>Tensely, her eyes fastened on his.</i>] But you <i>didn't</i> kill +it?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>A pause.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>In a low, appealing voice.</i>] Did you? Fritz? Did you?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>gets up slowly. He stands very still and stares at his +wife.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ARL'S</small> V<small>OICE</small>. Mama, Fritzi's fooling with papa's gun.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Both children rush into the room.</i></p></div> + +<p>K<small>ARL</small>. You oughta lock it up.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Fritzi</span>.] Bad boy! [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Karl</span>.] Fritzi wants to kill +himself—that's what. Go on to school.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Boys run past area.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>OICES</small>. Who killed the cat! Who killed the cat!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>At the sound of the voices the boys start back. Instinctively</i> +<span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>lays a protecting hand on each. She looks around at her +husband with a sudden anxiety which she tries to conceal from the +children, who whisper together.</i> <span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>rises heavily to his feet +and walks staggeringly toward the inner room</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER</small>. [<i>In a worried tone, as the pushes the children out.</i>] Go on +to school.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>At the threshold of the inner room</i> <span class="smcap">Bauer</span> <i>stops, half turns back +with distorted features, and then hurries in. The door slams behind +him.</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>closes the outer door, turns, takes a step as +though to follow</i> <span class="smcap">Bauer</span>, <i>hesitates, then crosses to the kitchen +table and starts to clear<a name="page_196" id="page_196"></a> up the dishes. The report of a revolver +sounds from the inner room. Terror-stricken</i>, <span class="smcap">Mrs. Bauer</span> <i>rushes +in</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. B<small>AUER'S</small> V<small>OICE</small>. Fritz! Fritz! Speak to me! Look at me, Fritz! You +didn't do it, Fritz! I know you didn't do it!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sound of low sobbing.... After a few seconds the telephone +bell.... It rings continuously while the Curtain slowly falls.</i></p></div> + +<p><a name="page_197" id="page_197"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2><a name="MANIKIN_AND_MINIKIN" id="MANIKIN_AND_MINIKIN"></a>MANIKIN AND MINIKIN<br /><br /> +<small>(<span class="smcap">A Bisque-Play</span>)<br /><br /> +BY<br /> +ALFRED KREYMBORG</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>Manikin and Minikin</i> is reprinted by special permission of Alfred +Kreymborg. All rights reserved. For permission to perform, address +Norman Lee Swartout, Summit, New Jersey.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_198" id="page_198"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_199" id="page_199"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="ALFRED_KREYMBORG" id="ALFRED_KREYMBORG"></a>ALFRED KREYMBORG</p> + +<p>Alfred Kreymborg, one of the foremost advocates of free-verse rhythmical +drama, was born in New York City, 1883. He founded and edited <i>The +Globe</i> while it was in existence; and under its auspices issued the +first anthology of imagist verse (Ezra Pound's Collection, 1914). In +July, 1915, he founded <i>Others, a Magazine of the New Verse</i>, and <i>The +Other Players</i> in March, 1918, an organization devoted exclusively to +American plays in poetic form. At present Mr. Kreymborg is in Italy, +launching a new international magazine, <i>The Broom</i>.</p> + +<p>Mr. Kreymborg has been active in both poetry and drama. He has edited +several anthologies of free verse, and has published his own free verse +as <i>Mushrooms</i> and <i>The Blood of Things</i>. His volume of plays, all in +free rhythmical verse, is <i>Plays for Poem—Mimes</i>. The most popular +plays in this volume are <i>Lima Beans</i>, and <i>Manikin and Minikin</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Manikin and Minikin</i> aptly exemplifies Mr. Kreymborg's idea of +rhythmical, pantomimic drama. It is a semi-puppet play in which there +are dancing automatons to an accompaniment of rhythmic lines in place of +music. Mr. Kreymborg is a skilled musician and he composes his lines +with musical rhythm in mind. His lines should be read accordingly.</p> + +<p><a name="page_200" id="page_200"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_201" id="page_201"></a></p> + +<h2>MANIKIN AND MINIKIN<br /><br /> +(A BISQUE-PLAY)</h2> + +<p class="hang"><i>Seen through an oval frame, one of the walls of a parlor. The +wall-paper is a conventionalized pattern. Only the shelf of the +mantelpiece shows. At each end, seated on pedestals turned slightly +away from one another, two aristocratic bisque figures, a boy in +delicate cerise and a girl in cornflower blue. Their shadows join +in a grotesque silhouette. In the centre, an ancient clock whose +tick acts as the metronome for the sound of their high voices. +Presently the mouths of the figures open and shut, after the mode +of ordinary conversation.</i></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> That fool of a servant has done it again.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I should say, she's more than a fool.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> A meddlesome busybody——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> A brittle-fingered noddy!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Which way are you looking? What do you see?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> The everlasting armchair,<br /> +the everlasting tiger-skin,<br /> +the everlasting yellow, green, and purple books,<br /> +the everlasting portrait of milord——<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Oh, these Yankees!—And I see<br /> +the everlasting rattan rocker,<br /> +the everlasting samovar,<br /> +the everlasting noisy piano,<br /> +the everlasting portrait of milady——<br /> +</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Simpering spectacle!<a name="page_202" id="page_202"></a></p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> What does she want, always dusting?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I should say—that is, I'd consider the thought——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> You'd consider a lie—oh, Manikin—you're trying to defend her!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I'm not defending her——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> You're trying to——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I'm not trying to——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Then, what are you trying to——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Well, I'd venture to say, if she'd only stay away some morning——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> That's what I say in my dreams!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> She and her broom——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Her everlasting broom——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> She wouldn't be sweeping——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Every corner, every cranny, every crevice——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> And the dust wouldn't move——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Wouldn't crawl, wouldn't rise, wouldn't fly——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> And cover us all over——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Like a spider-web—ugh!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Everlasting dust has been most of our life——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Everlasting years and years of dust!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> You on your lovely blue gown——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> And you on your manly pink cloak.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> If she didn't sweep, we wouldn't need dusting——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Nor need taking down, I should say——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> With her stupid, clumsy hands——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Her crooked, monkey paws——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> And we wouldn't need putting back——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> I with my back to you——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I with my back to you.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> It's been hours, days, weeks——<a name="page_203" id="page_203"></a><br /> +by the sound of that everlasting clock——<br /> +and the coming of day and the going of day——<br /> +since I saw you last!<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> What's the use of the sun<br /> +with its butterfly wings of light—<br /> +what's the use of a sun made to see by—<br /> +if I can't see you!<br /> +</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Say that again!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Why should I say it again—don't you know?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> I know, but sometimes I doubt——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Why do you, what do you doubt?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Please say it again!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> What's the use of a sun——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> What's the use of a sun?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> That was made to see by——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> That was made to see by?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> If I can't see you!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Oh, Manikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> If you hadn't said that again, my doubt would have filled a +balloon.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Your doubt—which doubt, what doubt?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> And although I can't move, although I can't move unless somebody +shoves me, one of these days when the sun isn't here, I would have +slipped over the edge of this everlasting shelf——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> And fallen to that everlasting floor into so many fragments, they'd +never paste Minikin together again!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin, Minikin!<a name="page_204" id="page_204"></a></p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> They'd have to set another here—some Minikin, I'm assured!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Why do you chatter so, prattle so?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Because of my doubt—because I'm as positive as I am that I sit +here with my knees in a knot—that that human creature—loves you.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Loves me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> And you her!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> When she takes us down she holds you much longer.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> I'm sufficiently feminine—and certainly old enough—I and my +hundred and seventy years—I can see, I can feel by her manner of +touching me and her flicking me with her mop—the creature hates +me—she'd like to drop me, that's what she would!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Don't you venture defending her! Booby—you don't know live women! +When I'm in the right position I can note how she fondles you, pets you +like a parrot with her finger-tip, blows a pinch of dust from your eye +with her softest breath, holds you off at arm's length and fixes you +with her spider look, actually holds you against her cheek—her +rose-tinted cheek—before she releases you! If she didn't turn us apart +so often,<a name="page_205" id="page_205"></a> I wouldn't charge her with insinuation; but now I know she +loves you—she's as jealous as I am—and poor dead me in her live power! +Manikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> If you could see me—the way you see her——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> But I see you—see you always—see only you!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> If you could see me the way you see her, you'd still love me, you'd +love me the way you do her! Who made me what I am? Who dreamed me in +motionless clay?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Will you listen to me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> No!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Will you listen to me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> No.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Will you listen to me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I love you——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> No!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I've always loved you——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> No.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> You doubt that?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Yes!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> You doubt that?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> You doubt that?<a name="page_206" id="page_206"></a></p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> No. You've always loved me—yes—but you don't love me now—no—not +since that rose-face encountered your glance—no.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> If I could move about the way she can—<br /> +if I had feet—<br /> +dainty white feet which could twinkle and twirl—<br /> +I'd dance you so prettily<br /> +you'd think me a sun butterfly—<br /> +if I could let down my hair<br /> +and prove you it's longer than larch hair—<br /> +if I could raise my black brows<br /> +or shrug my narrow shoulders,<br /> +like a queen or a countess—<br /> +if I could turn my head, tilt my head,<br /> +this way and that, like a swan—<br /> +ogle my eyes, like a peacock,<br /> +till you'd marvel,<br /> +they're green, nay, violet, nay, yellow, nay, gold—<br /> +if I could move, only move<br /> +just the moment of an inch—<br /> +you would see what I could be!<br /> +It's a change, it's a change,<br /> +you men ask of women!<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> A change?<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> You're eye-sick, heart-sick<br /> +of seeing the same foolish porcelain thing,<br /> +a hundred years old,<br /> +a hundred and fifty,<br /> +and sixty, and seventy—<a name="page_207" id="page_207"></a><br /> +I don't know how old I am!<br /> +</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Not an exhalation older than I—not an inhalation younger! Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Will you listen to me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> No!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Will you listen to me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> No!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Will you listen to me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Yes.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I don't love that creature——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> You do.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I can't love that creature——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> You can.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Will you listen to me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Yes—<br /> +if you'll tell me—<br /> +if you'll prove me—<br /> +so my last particle of dust—<br /> +the tiniest speck of a molecule—<br /> +the merest electron——<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Are you listening?<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Yes!<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> To begin with—<br /> +I dislike, suspect, deplore—<br /> +I had best say, feel compassion<br /> +for what is called humanity—<br /> +or the animate, as opposed to the inanimate——<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> You say that so wisely—<br /> +you're such a philosopher—<br /> +say it again!<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> That which is able to move<br /> +can never be steadfast, you understand?<a name="page_208" id="page_208"></a><br /> +Let us consider the creature at hand<br /> +to whom you have referred<br /> +with an undue excess of admiration<br /> +adulterated with an undue excess of envy——<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Say that again!<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> To begin with—<br /> +I can only see part of her at once.<br /> +She moves into my vision;<br /> +she moves out of my vision;<br /> +she is doomed to be wayward.<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Yes, but that which you see of her——<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Is ugly, commonplace, unsightly.<br /> +Her face a rose-face?<br /> +It's veined with blood and the skin of it wrinkles—<br /> +her eyes are ever so near to a hen's—<br /> +her movements,<br /> +if one would pay such a gait with regard—<br /> +her gait is unspeakably ungainly—<br /> +her hair——<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Her hair?<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Luckily I've never seen it down—<br /> +I dare say it comes down in the dark,<br /> +when it looks, most assuredly, like tangled weeds.<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Again, Manikin, that dulcet phrase!<br /> +<br /> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Even were she beautiful,<br /> +she were never so beautiful as thou!<br /> +</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Now you're a poet, Manikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Even were she so beautiful as thou—lending her your eyes, and the +exquisite head which holds them—like a cup two last beads of wine, like +a stone two last drops of rain, green, nay, violet, nay, yellow, nay, +gold——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Faster, Manikin!<a name="page_209" id="page_209"></a></p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> I can't, Minikin!<br /> +Words were never given to man<br /> +to phrase such a one as you are—<br /> +inanimate symbols<br /> +can never embrace, embody, hold<br /> +the animate dream that you are—<br /> +I must cease.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin!</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> And even were she so beautiful as thou,<br /> +she couldn't stay beautiful.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Stay beautiful?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Humans change with each going moment.<br /> +That is a gray-haired platitude.<br /> +Just as I can see that creature<br /> +only when she touches my vision,<br /> +so I could only see her once, were she beautiful—<br /> +at best, twice or thrice—<br /> +you're more precious than when you came!</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> And you!</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Human pathos penetrates still deeper<br /> +when one determines their inner life,<br /> +as we've pondered their outer.<br /> +Their inner changes far more desperately.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> How so, wise Manikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> They have what philosophy terms moods,<br /> +and moods are more pervious to modulation<br /> +than pools to idle breezes.<br /> +These people may say, to begin with—<br /> +I love you.<br /> +This may be true, I'm assured—<br /> +as true as when <i>we</i> say, I love you.<br /> +But they can only say,<br /> +I love you,<br /> +so long as the mood breathes,<a name="page_210" id="page_210"></a><br /> +so long as the breezes blow,<br /> +so long as water remains wet.<br /> +They are honest—<br /> +they mean what they say—<br /> +passionately, tenaciously, tragically—<br /> +but when the mood languishes,<br /> +they have to say,<br /> +if it be they are honest—<br /> +I do not love you.<br /> +Or they have to say,<br /> +I love you,<br /> +to somebody else.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> To somebody else?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Now, you and I—<br /> +we've said that to each other—<br /> +we've had to say it<br /> +for a hundred and seventy years—<br /> +and we'll have to say it always.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Say always again!</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> The life of an animate—</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Say always again!</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Always!<br /> +The life of an animate<br /> +is a procession of deaths<br /> +with but a secret sorrowing candle,<br /> +guttering lower and lower,<br /> +on the path to the grave—<br /> +the life of an inanimate<br /> +is as serenely enduring—<br /> +as all still things are.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Still things?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Recall our childhood in the English museum—<br /> +ere we were moved,<br /> +from place to place,<br /> +to this dreadful Yankee salon—<a name="page_211" id="page_211"></a><br /> +do you remember<br /> +that little old Greek tanagra<br /> +of the girl with a head like a bud—<br /> +that little old Roman medallion<br /> +of the girl with a head like a——</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin, Manikin—<br /> +were they so beautiful as I—<br /> +did you love them, too—<br /> +why do you bring them back?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> They were not so beautiful as thou—<br /> +I spoke of them—<br /> +recalled, designated them—<br /> +well, because they were ages old—<br /> +and—and——</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> And—and?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> And we might live as long as they—<br /> +as they did and do!<br /> +I hinted their existence<br /> +because they're not so beautiful as thou,<br /> +so that by contrast and deduction——</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> And deduction?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> You know what I'd say——</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> But say it again!</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> I love you.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Then even though that creature has turned us</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +can you see me?</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> I can see you.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Even though you haven't seen me<br /> +for hours, days, weeks—<br /> +with your dear blue eyes—<br /> +you can see me—<br /> +with your hidden ones?<a name="page_212" id="page_212"></a></p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">He.</span> I can see you.</p> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">She.</span> Even though you are still,<br /> +and calm, and smooth,<br /> +and lovely outside—<br /> +you aren't still and calm<br /> +and smooth and lovely inside?<br /> +</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Lovely, yes—but not still and calm and smooth!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Which way are you looking? What do you see?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I look at you. I see you.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> And if that fool of a servant—oh, Manikin—suppose she should +break the future—our great, happy centuries ahead—by dropping me, +throwing me down?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I should take an immediate step off this everlasting shelf—</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> But you cannot move!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> The good wind would give me a blow!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Now you're a punster! And what would your fragments do?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> They would do what Manikin did.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Say that again!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> They'd do what Manikin did....</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Shall I tell you something?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Tell me something.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Are you listening?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> With my inner ears.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> I wasn't jealous of that woman——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> You weren't jealous?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> I wanted to hear you talk——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> You wanted to hear me talk?<a name="page_213" id="page_213"></a></p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> You talk so wonderfully!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Do I, indeed? What a booby I am!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> And I wanted to hear you say——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> You cheat, you idler, you——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Woman——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Dissembler!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Minikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Everlastingly?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Everlastingly.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Say it again!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I refuse——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> You refuse?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Well——</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Well?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> You have ears outside your head—I'll say that for you—but they'll +never hear—what your other ears hear!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Say it—down one of the ears—outside my head?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I refuse.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> You refuse?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> Leave me alone.</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin?</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">He.</span> I can't say it!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">She.</span> Manikin!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The clock goes on ticking for a moment. Its mellow chimes strike +the hour.</i></p></div> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_214" id="page_214"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_215" id="page_215"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +WHITE DRESSES<br /> +<small>(<span class="smcap">A Tragedy of Negro Life</span>)</small><br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +PAUL GREENE</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>White Dresses</i> is reprinted by special permission of Professor +Frederick H. Koch. Copyrighted by the Carolina Playmakers, Inc., Chapel +Hill, North Carolina. For permission to produce, address Frederick H. +Koch, director.</p> +</div> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p><a name="page_216" id="page_216"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_217" id="page_217"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="PAUL_GREENE" id="PAUL_GREENE"></a>PAUL GREENE</p> + +<p>Paul Greene, one of the most promising of the University of North +Carolina Playmakers, was born in 1894 on a farm near Lillington, North +Carolina. He has received his education at Buies Creek Academy and at +the University of North Carolina, from which he received his bachelor's +degree in 1921. He saw service with the A. E. F. in France, with the +105th United States Engineers.</p> + +<p>In addition to <i>White Dresses</i>, Mr. Greene has written a number of +one-act plays: <i>The Last of the Lowries</i> (to be included in a +forthcoming volume of Carolina Folk-Plays, published by Henry Holt & +Company), <i>The Miser</i>, <i>The Old Man of Edenton</i>, <i>The Lord's Will</i>, +<i>Wreck P'int</i>, <i>Granny Boling</i> (in <i>The Drama</i> for August-September, +1921). The first three plays named above were produced originally by the +Carolina Playmakers at Chapel Hill.</p> + +<p><i>White Dresses</i> is an excellent example of folk-play of North Carolina. +This play was written in English 31, the course in dramatic composition +at the University of North Carolina conducted by Professor Frederick H. +Koch. "The Aim of the Carolina Playmakers," says Professor Koch, "is to +build up a genuinely native drama, a fresh expression of the folk-life +in North Carolina, drawn from the rich background of local tradition and +from the vigorous new life of the present day. In these simple plays we +hope to contribute something of lasting value in the making of a new +folk-theatre and a new folk-literature."</p> + +<p>Out of the many conflicts of American life, past and present, Mr. Greene +sees possibilities for a great native drama. <i>White Dresses</i> presents a +fundamental aspect of the race problem in America.<a name="page_218" id="page_218"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Candace Mclean</span>, <i>an old negro woman</i>, <span class="smcap">Mary's</span> <i>aunt</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mary Mclean</span>, <i>a quadroon girl, niece of</i> <span class="smcap">Candace</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Jim Matthews</span>, <i>Mary's lover</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Henry Morgan</span>, <i>the landlord, a white man</i></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_219" id="page_219"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="WHITE_DRESSES" id="WHITE_DRESSES"></a>WHITE DRESSES</h2> + +<p class="hang">TIME: <i>The evening before Christmas, 1900</i>.</p> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>The scene is laid in a negro cabin, the home of</i> <span class="smcap">Candace</span> +<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mary Mclean</span>, <i>in eastern North Carolina</i>.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>In the right corner of the room is a rough bed covered with a +ragged counterpane. In the centre at the rear is an old bureau with +a cracked mirror, to the left of it a door opening to the outside. +In the left wall is a window with red curtains. A large chest +stands near the front on this side, and above it hang the family +clothes, several ragged dresses, an old bonnet, and a cape. At the +right, toward the front, is a fireplace, in which a small fire is +burning. Above and at the sides of the fireplace hang several pots +and pans, neatly arranged. Above these is a mantel, covered with a +lambrequin of dingy red crape paper. On the mantel are bottles and +a clock. A picture of "Daniel in the Lion's Den" hangs above the +mantel. The walls are covered with newspapers, to which are pinned +several illustrations clipped from popular magazines. A rough table +is in the centre of the room. A lamp without a chimney is on it. +Several chairs are about the room. A rocking-chair with a rag +pillow in it stands near the fire. There is an air of cleanliness +and poverty about the whole room.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The rising of the curtain discloses the empty room. The fire is +burning dimly.</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>enters at the rear, carrying several +sticks of firewood under one arm. She walks with a stick, and is +bent with rheumatism. She is dressed in a slat bonnet, which hides +her face in its shadow, brogan shoes, a<a name="page_220" id="page_220"></a> man's ragged coat, a +checkered apron, a dark-colored dress. She mumbles to herself and +shakes her head as she comes in. With great difficulty she puts the +wood on the fire, and then takes the poker and examines some +potatoes that are cooking in the ashes. She takes out her snuff-box +and puts snuff in her lip. As she does this her bonnet is pushed +back, and in the firelight her features are discernible—sunken +eyes, high cheek-bones, and big, flat nose. Upon her forehead she +wears a pair of steel-rimmed spectacles.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>She sits down in a rocking-chair, now and then putting her hand to +her head, and groaning as if in pain. She turns and looks +expectantly toward the door. After a moment she hobbles to the +chest on the right and takes out an old red crocheted fascinator. +Shivering she wraps it around her neck and stands looking down in +the chest. She lifts out a little black box and starts to unfasten +it, when the door suddenly opens and</i> <span class="smcap">Mary McLean</span> <i>comes in</i>. <span class="smcap">Aunt +Candace</span> <i>puts the box hastily back into the chest, and hurries to +the fire</i>.</p> + +<p class="hang"><span class="smcap">Mary Mclean</span> <i>has a "turn" of collards in one arm and a paper bundle +in the other. She lays the collards on the floor near the window +and puts her shawl on the bed. She is a quadroon girl about +eighteen years old, with an oval face and a mass of fine dark hair, +neatly done up. There is something in her bearing that suggests a +sort of refinement. Her dress is pitifully shabby, her shoes +ragged. But even this cannot hide the lines of an almost perfect +figure. For a negro she is pretty. As she comes up to the fire her +pinched lips and the tired expression on her face are plainly +visible. Only her eyes betray any signs of excitement.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><span class="smcap">Aunt Candace.</span> Honey, I's been a-waitin' foh you de las' two hours. My +haid's been bad off. Chile, whah you been? Miss Mawgin must a had a +pow'ful washin' up at de big house.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>opens her hand and shows her a five-dollar bill</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. De Lawd help my life, chile!</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. An' look here what Mr. Henry sent you, too. [<i>She undoes the +bundle, revealing several cooked sweet potatoes, sausages, spareribs, +and some boiled ham.</i>] He said as 'twas Christmas time he sent you this +with the collards there.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She points toward the collards at the window.</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>pays +little attention to the food as</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>places it in her lap, but +continues to look straight into</i> <span class="smcap">Mary's</span> <i>face. The girl starts to +give her the money, but she pushes her away.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Excitedly.</i>] Whah'd you git dat, honey? Whah'd you git +it? Mr. Henry ain't never been dat kind befo'. Dey ain't no past +Christmas times he was so free wid 'is money. He ain't de kind o' man +foh dat. An' he a-havin' 'is washin' done on Christmas Eve. [<i>Her look +is direct and troubled.</i>] Chile, Mr. Hugh didn't give you dat money, did +he?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Still looking in the fire.</i>] Aunty, I ain't said Mr. Henry sent +you this money. Yes'm, Mr. Hugh sent it to you. I done some washin' for +him. I washed his socks and some shirts—pure silk they was. [<i>She +smiles at the remembrance.</i>] An' he give me the money an' tole me to +give it to you—said he wished he could give you somethin' more.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She hands the money to</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span>, <i>who takes it quickly</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Help my soul an' body! De boy said dat! Bless 'is soul! He +ain't fo'got 'is ol' aunty, even if he ain't been to see 'er since he +come back from school way out yander. De Lawd bless 'im! Allus was a +good boy, an' he ain't changed since he growed up nuther. When I useter +nuss 'im he'd never whimper, no suh. Bring me de tin box, honey. An' +don't notice what I's been sayin'. I spects I's too perticler 'bout you. +I dunno.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>goes to the bureau and gets a tin box. She puts the money in +it, returns it, and lights the lamp.</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace<a name="page_222" id="page_222"></a></span> <i>takes off her +bonnet and hangs it behind her on the rocking-chair. Then she +begins to eat greedily, now and then licking the grease off her +fingers. Suddenly she utters a low scream, putting her hands to her +head and rocking to and fro. She grasps her stick and begins +beating about her as if striking at something, crying out in a loud +voice.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Ah-hah, I'll git you! I'll git you!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>goes to her and pats her on the cheek</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. It's your poor head, ain't it, aunty? You rest easy, I'll take +care of you. [<i>She continues to rub her cheek and forehead until the +spell passes.</i>] Set still till I git in a turn of light-wood. It's goin' +to be a terrible cold night an' looks like snow.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>After a moment</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>quiets down and begins eating +again</i>. <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>goes out and brings in an armful of wood which she +throws into the box. She takes a bottle and spoon from the mantel, +and starts to pour out some medicine.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. I's better now, honey. Put it back up. I ain't gwine take +none now. D'ain't no use ... d'ain't no use in dat. I ain't long foh dis +world, ain't long. I's done my las' washin' an' choppin' an' weighed up +my las' cotton. Medicine ain't no mo' good.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. You're allus talkin' like that, aunty. You're goin' to live to be +a hundred. An' this medicine——</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. I ain't gwine take it, I say. No, suh, ain't gwine be +long. I's done deef. I's ol' an' hipshot now. No, suh, I don't want no +medicine. [<i>Childishly.</i>] I's got a taste o' dese heah spareribs an' +sausages, an' I ain't gwine take no medicine. [<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>puts the bottle and +spoon back on the mantel and sits down</i>. <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>stops eating and +looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Mary's</span> <i>dreaming face</i>.] Honey, what makes you look like dat? +[<i>Excitedly.</i>] Mr. Henry ain't said ... he ain't said no mo' 'bout us +havin' to leave, has he?<a name="page_223" id="page_223"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Looking up confusedly.</i>] No'm, he ... no'm, he said ... he said +to-day that he'd 'bout decided to let us stay right on as long as we +please.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Huh, what's dat?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. He said it might be so we could stay right on as long as we +please.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Joyously.</i>] Thank de Lawd! Thank de Lawd! I knowed he's +gwine do it. I knowed. But I's been pow'ful feared, chile, he's gwine +run us off. An' he ain't never liked Mr. Hugh's takin' up foh us. But +now I c'n rest in peace. Thank de Lawd, I's gwine rest my bones rat whah +I loves to stay till dey calls foh me up yander. [<i>Stopping.</i>] Has you +et?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes'm, I et up at Mr. Henry's. Mr. Hugh ... [<i>hesitating</i>] he said +'twas a shame for me to come off without eatin' nothin' an' so I et.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>becomes absorbed in her eating</i>. <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>goes to the +chest, opens it, and takes out a faded cloak and puts it on. Then +she goes to the bureau, takes out a piece of white ribbon, and ties +it on her hair. For a moment she looks at her reflection in the +mirror. She goes to the chest and stands looking down in it. She +makes a movement to close it. The lid falls with a bang.</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt +Candace</span> <i>turns quickly around</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. What you want, gal? You ain't botherin' de li'l box, is +you?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Coming back to the fire.</i>] Botherin' that box! Lord, no, I don't +worry about it no more ... I'm just dressin' up a little.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Ah-hah, but you better not be messin' 'round de chist too +much. You quit puttin' you' clothes in dere. I done tol' you. What you +dressin' up foh? Is Jim comin' round to-night?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She wraps up the remainder of her supper and puts it in the +chimney corner.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Not noticing the question.</i>] Aunty, don't I look a little bit +like a white person?</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Taking out her snuff-box.</i>] Huh, what's dat?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I don't look like a common nigger, do I?</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Lawd bless you, chile, you's purty, you is. You's jes' as +purty as any white folks. You's lak yo' mammy what's dead an' gone. +Yessuh, you's her very spit an' image, 'ceptin' you's whiter. [<i>Lowering +her voice.</i>] Yes, suh, 'ceptin' you's whiter. [<i>They both look in the +fire.</i>] 'Bout time foh Jim to be comin', ain't it?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes'm, he'll be comin', I reckon. They ain't no gittin' away from +him an' his guitar.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. <i>What</i> you got agin Jim? Dey ain't no better nigger'n Jim. +He's gwine treat you white, an' it's time you's gittin' married. I's +done nussin' my fust chile at yo' age, my li'l Tom 'twas. Useter sing to +'im. [<i>Pausing.</i>] Useter sing to 'im de sweetest kin' o' chunes, jes' +lak you, honey, jes' lak you. He's done daid an' gone do'. All my babies +is. De Marster he call an' tuck 'em. An' 'druther'n let 'em labor an' +sweat below, he gi'n 'em a harp an' crown up dere. Tuck my ol' man from +'is toil an' trouble, too, an' I's left heah alone now. Ain't gwine be +long do', ain't gwine be long. [<i>Her voice trails off into silence. All +is quiet save for the ticking of the clock.</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>brushes her +hand across her face, as if breaking the spell of her revery</i>.] Yessuh, +I wants you to git married, honey. I told you, an' told you. We's lived +long enough by ourselves. I's lak to nuss yo' li'l uns an' sing to 'em +fo' I go. Mind me o' de ol' times.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Lost in abstraction, apparently has not been listening.</i>] Aunty, +you ought to see him now. He's better to me than he ever was. He's as +kind as he can be. An' he wears the finest clothes! [<i>She stares in the +fire.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Dat he do. Dey ain't no 'sputin' of it. I<a name="page_225" id="page_225"></a> allus said he's +de best-lookin' nigger in de country. An' dey ain't nobody kinder'n Jim. +No, suh.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. An' to-day he said 'twas a pity I had to work an' wash like a +slave for a livin'. He don' treat me like I was a nigger. He acts like +I'm white folks. Aunty, you reckon ...</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Gazing at her with a troubled look of astonishment.</i>] I +knows it, honey, I knows it. Course dey ain't no better nigger'n Jim an' +I wants you to marry Jim. He's awaitin' an' ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Vehemently.</i>] I ain't talkin' 'bout Jim. What's Jim? He ain't +nothin'.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Guessing at the truth, half rises from her seat.</i>] What +you mean? Huh! What you talkin' 'bout?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Wearily sitting down.</i>] Nothin', aunty, jes' talkin'.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Jes' talkin'? Chile ... chile ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Aunty, did you ever wish you was white?</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Troubled.</i>] Laws a mercy! Huh! White! Wish I's white? +Lawdy, no! What I want to be white foh? I's born a nigger, an' I's gwine +die a nigger. I ain't one to tear up de work o' de Lawd. He made me an' +I ain't gwine try to change it. What's in yo' haid, chile? [<i>Sadly.</i>] +Po' thing, don't do dat. Yo' po' mammy useter talk lak dat ... one +reason she ain't livin' to-day. An' I ain't done prayin' foh 'er nuther. +Chile, you git such notions ra't out'n yo' haid. [<i>She shakes her head, +groaning.</i>] Oh, Lawdy! Lawdy! [<i>Then, screaming, she puts her hands to +her head. She grasps her stick and begins striking about her, +shrieking.</i>] Dey's after me! Dey's after me! [<i>She continues beating +around her.</i>] Open de do'! Open de do'!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>puts her arms around her and tries to soothe her, but she +breaks away from her, fighting with her stick. Then</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>runs and +opens the door, and</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>drives the imaginary devils +out</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. They're gone now, they're gone.<a name="page_226" id="page_226"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She closes the door and leads her back to her seat.</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> +<i>sits down, mumbling and groaning. The spell passes and the wild +look dies from her face.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Looking up.</i>] I's had another spell, ain't I, honey?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes'm, but you're all right now.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She pours out some medicine and gives it to her.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Some dese days I's gwine be carried off by 'em, chile; I's +ol' an' po'ly, ol' an' po'ly now. Dem debbils gwine git me yit.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She mumbles.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. No, they ain't, aunty. I ain't goin' to let 'em.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>There is a knock at the door, and stamping of feet.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. What's dat?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Nothin'. Somebody at the door. [<i>The low strumming of guitar is +heard.</i>] That's Jim. Come in!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Jim Matthews</span> <i>enters. He is a young negro about twenty-two years +old, and as black as his African ancestors. He carries a guitar +slung over his shoulders, wears an old derby hat, tan shirt with a +dark tie, well-worn blue suit, the coat of which comes to his +knees, and tan shoes, slashed along the sides to make room for his +feet. As he comes in he pulls off his hat and smiles genially, +showing his white teeth. With better clothes he might call himself +a spo't.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. Good even', ladies.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>He lays his derby an the bed.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Turning around in her chair.</i>] What does he say?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. He says good evenin'.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. <i>Ah</i>-hah! Good even', Jim. Take a seat. I's sho glad you +come. Mary's been talkin' 'bout you. [<i>He smiles complacently.</i>] We's +sho glad you come.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He takes a seat between</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. Yes'm. An' I's sho glad to be wid you all. I's allus glad to be wid +de ladies.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. What's he say?<a name="page_227" id="page_227"></a></p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. [<i>Louder.</i>] I's glad to be wid you all.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Ah-hah! [<span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>pulls out a large checkered handkerchief +from his breast-pocket, wipes his forehead, and then flips the dust from +his shoes. He folds it carefully and puts it back in his pocket.</i>] Any +news, Jim?</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. No'm, none 'tall. Any wid you?</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Hah? No, nothin' 'tall, 'ceptin' Mr. Henry done said ... +said ...</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Here she groans sharply and puts her hand to her head.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. What's that she's sayin'? [<i>As</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>continues groaning</i>.] +Still havin' them spells, is she, Miss Mary?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Yes, she has 'em about every night.</p> + +<p>[<i>Making a movement as if to go to</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span>. <i>She stops and stares +in the fire.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Ne' min' me. I's all right now. An' you chillun go on wid +yo' cou'tin'. I's gwine peel my 'taters.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Raking the potatoes from the ashes, she begins peeling them. Then +she takes a piece of sausage from the package in the corner.</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span> +<i>smiles sheepishly and strums his guitar once or twice. He moves +his chair nearer to</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>. <i>She moves mechanically from him, still +gazing in the fire.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. Er ... Miss Mary, you's lookin' 'ceedin' snatchin' wid dat white +ribbon an' new cloak. I's glad to see you thought I's comin' 'round. +Yes'm, I tells all de gals you got 'em beat a mile. [<i>He stops.</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> +<i>pays no attention to him</i>.] From here slam to France an' back, I ain't +seed no gals lak you. Yes'm, dat's what I tells 'em all, an' I oughta +know, kaze I's an ol' road nigger. I's seen de world, I has. But I's +tired of 'tall, an' I wants to settle down ... an' ... you knows me.... +[<i>He stops and fidgets in his chair, strums his guitar, feels of his +necktie, takes out his handkerchief and wipes his forehead.</i>] Miss Mary, +I's ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Jim, I done tol' you, you needn't come messin' 'round here. I +ain't lovin' you. I ain't goin' to marry—nobody, never!<a name="page_228" id="page_228"></a></p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. [<i>Taken aback.</i>] Now, Miss Mary ... er ... honey. I knows jas' how +you feels. It's kaze I been a rounder, but you'll hadder forgive me. An' +I's gwine 'form, I is. I's quit all dem tother gals, near 'bout broke +dey hearts, but I hadder do it. Dey's only one foh me, you know. To-day +I's talkin' to dat young feller, Hugh Mawgin, an' ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Hugh what! What you sayin', Jim Matthews! Mr. Hugh, you mean.</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. [<i>Hurriedly.</i>] Yes'm, I said "Mr. Hugh." Didn't you hear me, Miss +Mary?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. What'd you say to him?</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. I told 'im I's callin' 'round here 'casionally, an' he said ... he +...</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Looking straight at</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span>.] He said what?</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. He axed me if I's a-courtin', an' I told 'im I mought ... er ... be +...</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Go on; tell me. Did he say I ought to marry you?</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Yes'm.... [<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>gasps</i>.] No'm, not ezzactly.... He +said as how it was a pity you had nobody to take care o' you, an' had to +work so hard lak a slave every day. An' he said you's most too purty an' +good to do it. An' I tuck from 'is talk dat he meant he thought you's +good enough foh me, an' wanted me to take care o' you, so's you wouldn't +hadder work.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. <i>Oh!...</i> Yes, I reckon so.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She is silent.</i></p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. He's a eddicated boy, an' he knows. Dey teaches 'im how to know +everything out yander at dat college place. He sees my worf', he does. +Co'se I ain't braggin', but de gals all do say ... oh, you know what dey +says.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Jumping up from her chair.</i>] Jim Matthews, you think I'd marry a +... oh, I'd ...</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Turning around.</i>] What's you sayin', gal?<a name="page_229" id="page_229"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Sittin' down.</i>] Oh, aunty! I ... I ... was just askin' Jim to +play a piece. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>in a lower voice</i>.] For the Lord's sake play +somethin'....</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She hides her face in her apron.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Ah-hah.... Play us a piece on yo' box, Jim.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Jim</span>, <i>at a loss as to the meaning of</i> <span class="smcap">Mary's</span> <i>tears, but feeling +that they are somehow a further proof of his power with the ladies, +smiles knowingly, tunes his guitar, and begins strumming a chord. +After playing a few bars, he starts singing in a clear voice, with +"Ohs" and "Ahs" thrown in.</i></p></div> + +<p class="hangg"> +<span class="smcap">Jim.</span> Oh, whah you gwine, my lover?<br /> +Gwine on down de road.<br /> +Oh, whah you gwine, my lover?<br /> +Gwine on down de road.<br /> +(<i>Bass</i>) Gwine ... on ... gwine on down de road.<br /> +<br /> +She th'owed her arms aroun' me<br /> +An' cast me silver an' gold.<br /> +Said, "Whah you gwine, my lover?"<br /> +Gwine on down de road.<br /> +(<i>Bass</i>) Oh, Lawd! ... Oh, Lawd!<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 7em;">Gwine ... on ... down ... de ... road.</span><br /> +</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>still leans forward, with her face in her hands</i>. <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>stops +playing and speaks softly</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. Miss Mary, I's sho' sorry I made you cry. Honey, I don't want you +to cry 'bout me lak dat ...</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She remains silent. He smiles in self-gratulation, but utters a +mournful sigh for her benefit. Pulling his guitar further up on his +lap, he takes out his pocket-knife, fits it between his fingers in +imitation of the Hawaiians, clears his throat and strikes another +chord.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Noticing the silence, looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>.]<a name="page_230" id="page_230"></a> What's de +trouble wid you, gal? What's de trouble, chile? Oh, Lawdy me! [<i>Passing +her hand across her forehead.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Raising her head.</i>] Nothin', nothin'. I'm tickled at Jim. [<i>To</i> +<span class="smcap">Jim</span>.] Go on, play her piece about the hearse. Play it!</p> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">Jim.</span> [<i>Strums his guitar, tunes it, and begins.</i>]<br /> +Hearse done carried somebody to de graveyard.<br /> + Lawd, I know my time ain't long.<br /> +Hearse done carried somebody to de graveyard.<br /> + Lawd, I know my time ain't long.<br /> +[<i>He sings louder, syncopating with his feet.</i>]<br /> +Preacher keeps a-preachin' an' people keep a-dyin'.<br /> + Lawd, I know my time ain't long.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>begins swaying rhythmically with the music, clapping +her hands, and now and then exclaiming</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Jesus! Lawdy, my Lawd!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She and</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>begin to sing alternately, she the first verse and</i> +<span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>the refrain. While this is going on</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>, <i>unobserved, goes +to the window, pulls open the curtain and looks out, stretching her +clenched hands above her head. She turns to the mirror, smooths +back her heavy hair, shakes her head, snatches off the ribbon and +throws it on the floor. Then she pulls off her cloak and lays it on +the bed. She picks up the ribbon and puts it in the bureau. +Meanwhile the music has continued.</i></p></div> + +<p>Hammer keep ringin' on somebody's coffin.</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. <i>Lawd</i>, I know my time ain't long.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They repeat these lines.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. <i>Gwine</i> roll 'em up lak leaves in de judgment.</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. Lawd, I know my time ain't long.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>After these lines have been repeated</i>, <span class="smcap">Jim</span>, <i>noticing</i> <span class="smcap">Mary's</span> +<i>absence from his side, stops and looks around</i>. <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> +<i>keeps on singing a verse or two. She stops and<a name="page_231" id="page_231"></a> looks around, +seas</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>standing in an attitude of despair</i>. <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>speaks</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. Miss Mary!</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. What is it, honey?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>There is a stamping of feet outside.</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>raises her head with +an expectant look an her face. She runs to the door and opens it. +Her expression changes to one of disappointment and fear as</i> <span class="smcap">Henry +Morgan</span> <i>enters. He is a man of powerful build, about fifty years +old, rough and overbearing. A week's growth of grizzled beard +darkens his face. He wears a felt hat, long black overcoat, ripped +at the pockets and buttoned up to his chin, big laced boots, and +yarn mittens. In his hand he carries a package, which he throws +contemptuously on the bed. He keeps his hat on.</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>closes the +door and stands with her back to it, clasping the latch-string</i>. +<span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>offer their seats</i>. <span class="smcap">Jim's</span> <i>look is one of +servile respect, that of Aunt Candace one of troubled expectancy</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>In a booming voice.</i>] Dad burn you, Jim. Still a-courtin', eh? +Set down, Candace. I ain't goin't to stay long.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Querulously.</i>] What's he say?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Coming to the centre of the room.</i>] He says for you to set down. +He ain't goin' to stay long.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Sitting down.</i>] Ah-hah ... Oh, Lawdy! Lawdy!</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Coming closer to</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span>.] How you gettin' 'long now, +Candace?</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Po'ly, po'ly, Mr. Mawgin. Ain't got much longer down here, +ain't much longer.</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Laughing.</i>] Aw come on, Candace, cut out your foolin'. You +ain't half as bad off as you make out. [<span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>moves his chair to the +corner and sits down</i>.] I understand you. If you'd git up from there an' +go to work you'd be well in a week.</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Oh, Lawd, Mr. Mawgin, I sho' is po'ly! I hopes you'll +never have to suffer lak me.<a name="page_232" id="page_232"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Mumbling, she shakes her head, rocks to and fro without taking +her feet from the floor, punctuating her movements by tapping with +her stick.</i> <span class="smcap">Morgan</span> <i>sees</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>looking at the package</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. That's for Mary. I was comin' down this way an' caught up with +John. He said he was comin' here to bring it. An' so I took an' brought +it, though he acted sort of queer about it, like he didn't want me even +to save him a long walk. Wonder what that nigger can be givin' you. +[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>starts toward the bed</i>.] No, you ain't goin' to see it now, gal. +We got a little business to 'tend to first. Did you tell Candace what I +said?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Mr. Morgan, how could I?... I couldn't do it, not to-night.</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. Uh-huh ... I knowed it. Knowed I'd better come down here an' +make sure of it. Durn me, you been cryin', ain't you? [<i>His voice +softens.</i>] What's the trouble, gal?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Nothin', nothin'. I ... I been tickled at Jim.</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. Tickled at Jim?</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. What does he say?</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Turning to her.</i>] Keep quiet, can't you, Candace; I got a +little business with Mary. [<span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>becomes silent and begins +watching the package. She half starts from her chair, then settles back, +staring hard at the bundle.</i> <span class="smcap">Morgan</span> <i>speaks to</i> <span class="smcap">Mary.</span>] You ain't been +cryin' about what I told you this evenin', have you?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. No, sir. I was tickled at Jim. It wan't nothin', honest it wan't.</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. Well, go on lyin' if you want to.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Mr. Morgan, I was jes' ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. No matter. [<i>Brusquely.</i>] Well, what you goin' to do about what +I said? [<i>He looks at her squarely.</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>watches them both with open +mouth</i>. <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>keeps staring at the bundle on the bed, and now +and then glancing around to see if any<a name="page_233" id="page_233"></a> one is watching her. She is +oblivious of the conversation.</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>stands with bowed head</i>.] Well, +what about it? I've done told you you got to get out at the first o' the +year if you ain't a mind to marry Jim. [<span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>straightens up</i>.] At least +you've got to marry somebody that can come here and work. I told you to +tell Candace to look out for it. Why didn't you tell her like I said?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I couldn't do it. It'd kill her to leave here. You know it. She's +been good to me all my life. Oh, I can't do it.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>stealthily slips across the room and picks up the +package from the bed, unseen by any one but</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. Can't do it? Well, what you want me to do? Lose money on you +till the end of time! You ain't earned enough to keep you in clothes for +the last three years since Candace got down, an' ...</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>A terrible cry rings out.</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>stands by the bed, +holding a white dress up before her</i>. <span class="smcap">Morgan</span> <i>looks perplexed. +Suddenly he starts back in astonishment.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Starting forward.</i>] It's for me! [<i>Joyously.</i>] It's mine!</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Catching</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>by the arm</i>.] What—what is it?... Heigh! +Don't you move, gal! Wait a minute!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He pulls her back.</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Morgan</span>. <i>Gradually he +lowers his head.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. I's a-feared on it. I knowed it ... I knowed it. [<i>She +throws the dress back on the bed and hobbles to the fire, groaning.</i>] +Oh, Lawdy! Oh, Lawdy! My po' li'l gal! My po' li'l gal!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She rocks to and fro.</i> <span class="smcap">Morgan's</span> <i>hand falls from</i> <span class="smcap">Mary's</span> +<i>shoulder, and she runs to the bed</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. He sent it to me! He sent it to me! I knowed he wouldn't forget.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She hugs the dress to her.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Turning to her.</i>] Well, and what nigger's sending<a name="page_234" id="page_234"></a> you +presents now? [<i>With suspicion fully aroused.</i>] Who give you that, Mary!</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. He did!</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Sternly.</i>] Who?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Impetuously.</i>] It was him! An' I don't care if you do know it!</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. Who? You don't mean ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I do too—an' ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. God a'mighty, my ... it can't be so.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>goes to the window and holds the dress in front of her</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. It is, too. Mr. Hugh sent it to me. [<span class="smcap">Morgan</span> <i>groans</i>.] He told me +to-day he's sorry for me. I knowed he'd remember me; I knowed it. An', +after all, I ain't been workin' the whole year for nothin'. He's got a +heart if nobody else ain't.</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. What in the devil! I wonder ... Lord!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>still looks in the fire. For a moment</i> <span class="smcap">Morgan</span> +<i>stands lost in abstraction, then he speaks fiercely</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. Mary, put them damned things up. Put 'em up, I say. [<i>He goes +toward her. She shrinks back; holding the dress to her. He snatches it +from her and throws it on the bed, then he pushes her out in the middle +of the floor. She wipes the tears from her eyes with her apron.</i>] You +listen here, gal. We're goin' to settle it right here and now, once and +for all. You're goin' to marry Jim?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Mr. Morgan ... oh ... I can't marry him. I can't! I won't! Let me +stay. Don't drive her out; she'll die. I'll work, I'll hoe an' wash, day +an' night. I'll do anything, I'll ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Fiercely.</i>] You've tole me that a thousand times, an' you've +got to say one or the other right now. Right now! Do you hear! Marry +Jim, I tell you, and it'll be all right. He's smart and he'll take care +of you ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. I can't do it, I tell you. I can't! I'd rather die. Look at me. +Ain't I almost white? Look at him. He's black<a name="page_235" id="page_235"></a> and I hate him. I can't +marry no nigger. Oh, don't make me do it.</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. White! What's that got to do with your marryin'? Ain't you a +...? You don't think you can marry a white man, do you? I tell you +you've got to decide to-night. I've been after you now for two years +and, gal, you've got to do it!</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Don't make me do it! I hate him. I ain't black. Oh, Lord!...</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Desperately.</i>] Candace!</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Clutching at his arm.</i>] Don't tell her. I ain't goin' to see her +drove out in the cold from her home. Don't tell her.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>still looks in the fire</i>. <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>sits lost in +amazement, idly strumming his guitar</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. Well?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Looking wildly around, as if seeking help.</i>] Oh!...</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Wiping his face.</i>] Gal, I don't want to be too hard on you. +But use common sense. I've been good to you. They ain't another man in +the county that would have kept you for the last three years, an' losin' +money on you every year. I'm done of it, gal, I'm done. Marry Jim.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. He wouldn't let you do it if he was here. He wouldn't.</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. Who? Who you talkin' about?</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Mr. Hugh, your boy. He's got feelin's, he has. If he was here ...</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Hoarsely.</i>] I know it. I know it. Don't you see? He's all I +got. I can't run the risk of his ... Oh, Mary, I can't tell you. For +God's sake, marry Jim. Can't you see? You've got to marry him! Hugh's +gone off for a week, an' I'm goin' to settle it before he ever gets +back. And when he gets back, you and Candace will be clean out of this +country, if you don't marry Jim. They ain't nobody else 'round here will +take you in, and keep you like I have.<a name="page_236" id="page_236"></a></p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. Where ... where's he gone?</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. He's gone to see his gal. The one he's going to marry. And by +God, you've got to marry Jim.</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. [<i>Half sobbing.</i>] They ain't no use tryin' to change it. I've +tried and tried, but they ain't no use. I jus' as well do it. Yes, yes, +I'll marry him. I'll marry him. They ain't no way to be white. I got to +be a nigger. I'll marry him, yes. I'll marry him, an' work an' hoe an' +wash an' raise more children to go through it all like me, maybe other +children that'll want to be white an' can't. They ain't nobody can help +me. But look at him. [<i>Pointing to</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span>.] He's a nigger an' ... yes ... +I'm a nigger too.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She throws her arms out, letting them fall at her side.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Almost gently.</i>] All right, Mary ... I'll send for the +preacher and the license in the morning and have him marry you and Jim +right here. You needn't think about leavin' any more. And you and Jim +can live here as long as you please. Is that all right, Jim?</p> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. [<i>Uncertainly.</i>] Yes-suh, yes-suh, Mr. Mawgin! An' I thanks you +'specially.</p> + +<p>M<small>ORGAN</small>. [<i>Going up to</i> <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span>.] Mary and Jim are going to be +married to-morrow, Candace. It'll be a lucky day for you. [<i>She makes no +answer, but continues her trancelike stare in the fire.</i> <span class="smcap">Morgan</span> <i>comes +to</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>and offers his hand. She fails to see it.</i>] Child, what I've +had to do to-night has hurt me a whole lot worse'n you.... Good-night, +Mary.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He stands a moment looking at the floor, then goes out quietly.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>IM</small>. [<i>Coming up to</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>.] Miss Mary, don't look lak dat. I's gwine do +better, I's.... [<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>keeps her head muffled in her apron</i>.] Honey, I's +sho' gwine make you a good man.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>pays no attention to him. In his embarrassment he strums his +guitar, clears his throat, props his foot up on a chair rung, and +begins singing in a low voice.</i>]</p></div> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">Jim.</span> Lyin' in the jail house,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2.75em;">A-peepin' th'ough de bars...</span>. +</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. [<i>Waking from her reverie.</i>] Bring me de li'l black box, +gal. Bring me de box! [<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>drops her apron and stares dully at the +floor</i>.] Bring me de box! [<i>Half-screaming.</i>] Bring me de box, I say! +[<i>Trembling and groaning, she stands up.</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>goes to the chest and +brings her the black box</i>. <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>drops her stick and clutches +it</i>.] I's gwine tell you de secret o' dis li'l box. Yo' mammy told me to +tell you if de time ever come, an' it's come. She seed trouble an' our +mammy befo' us. [<i>She takes a key, tied by a string around her neck, and +unlocks the box, pulling out a wrinkled white dress, yellowed with age, +of the style of the last generation.</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>sits down, overcome with +astonishment, staring at the old woman with open mouth</i>.] Look heah, +chile. I's gwine tell you now. Nineteen yeahs ago come dis Christmas +dey's a white man gi'n your mammy dis heah, an' dat white man is kin to +you, an' he don't live fur off nuther. Gimme dat dress dere on de bed. +[<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>gets it and holds it tightly to her breast</i>. <span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> +<i>snatches at it, but</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>clings to it</i>.] Gimme dat dress!</p> + +<p>M<small>ARY</small>. It's mine!</p> + +<p>A<small>UNT</small> C<small>ANDACE</small>. Gimme! [<i>She jerks the dress from</i> <span class="smcap">Mary</span>. <i>Hobbling to the +fireplace, she lays both of them carefully on the flames.</i> <span class="smcap">Jim</span> <i>makes a +movement as if to save them, but she waves him back with her stick</i>.] +Git back, nigger! Git back! Dis night I's gwine wipe out some o' de +traces o' sin. [<span class="smcap">Mary</span> <i>sits in her chair, sobbing. As the dresses burn</i> +<span class="smcap">Aunt Candace</span> <i>comes to her and lays her hand upon her head</i>.] I knows +yo' feelin's, chile. But yo's got to smother 'em in. Yo's got to smother +'em in.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_238" id="page_238"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_239" id="page_239"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +MOONSHINE<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +ARTHUR HOPKINS</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>Moonshine</i> is reprinted by special permission of Arthur Hopkins, +Plymouth Theatre, New York City. All rights reserved. For permission to +perform, address the author.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_240" id="page_240"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_241" id="page_241"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="ARTHUR_HOPKINS" id="ARTHUR_HOPKINS"></a>ARTHUR HOPKINS</p> + +<p>Arthur Hopkins, one of the well-known men of the practical theatre of +to-day, was born in Cleveland, Ohio, in 1878. He completed his academic +training at Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio. At present he +is the manager of Plymouth Theatre, New York City.</p> + +<p>Mr. Hopkins's entire life has been given to the theatre, which is his +hobby. In the midst of his various activities as a manager he has found +time to do some dramatic writing. Among his one-act plays are <i>Thunder +God</i>, <i>Broadway Love</i>, and <i>Moonshine</i>, which appeared in the <i>Theatre +Acts Magazine</i> for January, 1919.</p> + +<p><i>Moonshine</i> is an excellent play of situation that has grown out of the +reaction of character on character.<a name="page_242" id="page_242"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Luke Hazy</span>, <i>Moonshiner</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">A Revenue Officer</span></td></tr> +</table> +<p><a name="page_243" id="page_243"></a></p> + +<h2>MOONSHINE</h2> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>Hut of a moonshiner in the mountain wilds of North +Carolina. Door back left. Window back right centre. Old deal table +right centre. Kitchen chair at either side of table, not close to +it. Old cupboard in left corner. Rude stone fireplace left side. On +back wall near door is a rough pencil sketch of a man hanging from +a tree.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>At rise of curtain a commotion is heard outside of hut.</i></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Off stage.</i>] It's all right, boys.... Jist leave him to me.... +Git in there, Mister Revenue.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Revenue</span>, <i>a Northerner in city attire, without hat, clothes dusty, +is pushed through doorway</i>. <span class="smcap">Luke</span>, <i>a lanky, ill-dressed Southerner, +following, closes door</i>. <span class="smcap">Revenue's</span> <i>hands are tied behind him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. You must excuse the boys for makin' a demonstration over you, +Mister Revenue, but you see they don't come across you fellers very +frequent, and they allus gits excited.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I appreciate that I'm welcome.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. 'Deed you is, and I'm just agoin' to untie your hands long nuff +fer you to take a sociable drink. [<i>Goes to stranger, feels in +all-pockets for weapons.</i>] Reckon yer travellin' peaceable. [<i>Unties +hands.</i>] Won't yer sit down?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>Drawing over chair and sitting.</i>] Thank you. [<i>Rubs wrists to +get back circulation.</i>]</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Going over to cupboard and taking out jug.</i>] Yessa, Mister, the +boys ain't seen one o' you fellers fer near two years. Began to think +you wus goin' to neglect us. I wus hopin' you might be Jim Dunn. Have a +drink?<a name="page_244" id="page_244"></a></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>Starts slightly at mention of</i> <span class="smcap">Jim Dunn</span>.] No, thank you, your +make is too strong for me.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. It hain't no luck to drink alone when you git company. Better have +some.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Very well, my friend, I suffer willingly.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Drinks a little and chokes.</i></p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Draining cup.</i>] I reckon ye all don't like the flavor of liquor +that hain't been stamped.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. It's not so bad.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. The last Revenue that sit in that chair got drunk on my make.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. That wouldn't be difficult.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. No, but it wuz awkward.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Why?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I had to wait till he sobered up before I give him his ticker. I +didn't feel like sendin' him to heaven drunk. He'd a found it awkward +climbin' that golden ladder.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Thoughtful executioner.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. So you see mebbe you kin delay things a little by dallyin' with +the licker.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>Picking up cup, getting it as far as his lips, slowly puts it +down.</i>] The price is too great.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I'm mighty sorry you ain't Jim Dunn. But I reckon you ain't. You +don't answer his likeness.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Who's Jim Dunn?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. You ought to know who Jim Dunn is. He's just about the worst one +of your revenue critters that ever hit these parts. He's got four of the +boys in jail. We got a little reception all ready for him. See that?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Pointing to sketch on back wall.</i></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>Looking at sketch.</i>] Yes.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. That's Jim Dunn.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>Rising, examining picture.</i>] Doesn't look much like any one.<a name="page_245" id="page_245"></a></p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, that's what Jim Dunn'll look like when we git 'im. I'm +mighty sorry you hain't Jim Dunn.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I'm sorry to disappoint you.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Turning to cupboard and filling pipe.</i>] Oh, it's all right. I +reckon one Revenue's about as good as another, after all.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Are you sure I'm a revenue officer?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Rising.</i>] Well, since we ketched ye climin' trees an' snoopin' +round the stills, I reckon we won't take no chances that you hain't.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Oh.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Say, mebbe you'd like a seggar. Here's one I been savin' fer quite +a spell back, thinkin' mebbe I'd have company some day. [<i>Brings out +dried-up cigar, hands it to him.</i></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. No, thank you.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. It hain't no luck to smoke alone when ye got company. [<i>Striking +match and holding it to</i> <span class="smcap">Revenue</span>.] Ye better smoke. [<span class="smcap">Revenue</span> <i>bites off +end and mouth is filled with dust, spits out dust</i>. <span class="smcap">Luke</span> <i>holds match to +cigar. With difficulty</i> <span class="smcap">Revenue</span> <i>lights it</i>.] That's as good a five-cent +cigar as ye can git in Henderson.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>After two puffs, makes wry face, throws cigar on table.</i>] You +make death very easy, Mister.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Luke's my name. Yer kin call me Luke. Make you feel as though you +had a friend near you at the end—Luke Hazy.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>Starting as though interested, rising.</i>] Not the Luke Hazy +that cleaned out the Crosby family?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Startled.</i>] How'd you hear about it?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Hear about it? Why, your name's been in every newspaper in the +United States. Every time you killed another Crosby the whole feud was +told all over again. Why, I've seen your picture in the papers twenty +times.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Hain't never had one took.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. That don't stop them from printing it. Don't you ever read the +newspapers?<a name="page_246" id="page_246"></a></p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Me read? I hain't read nothin' fer thirty years. Reckon I couldn't +read two lines in a hour.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. You've missed a lot of information about yourself.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. How many Crosbys did they say I killed?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I think the last report said you had just removed the twelfth.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. It's a lie! I only killed six ... that's all they wuz—growed up. +I'm a-waitin' fer one now that's only thirteen.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. When'll he be ripe?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Jes as soon as he comes a-lookin' fer me.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Will he come?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. He'll come if he's a Crosby.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. A brave family?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. They don't make 'em any braver—they'd be first-rate folks if they +wuzn't Crosbys.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. If you feel that way why did you start fighting them?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I never started no fight. My granddad had some misunderstandin' +with their granddad. I don't know jes what it wuz about, but I reckon my +granddad wuz right, and I'll see it through.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. You must think a lot of your grandfather.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Never seen 'im, but it ain't no luck goin' agin yer own kin. Won't +ye have a drink?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. No—no—thank you.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, Mr. Revenue, I reckon we might as well have this over.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. What?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, you won't get drunk, and I can't be put to the trouble o' +havin' somebody guard you.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. That'll not be necessary.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Oh, I know yer like this yer place now, but this evenin' you might +take it into yer head to walk out.<a name="page_247" id="page_247"></a></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I'll not walk out unless you make me.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Tain't like I'll let yer, but I wouldn't blame yer none if yu +tried.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. But I'll not.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Rising.</i>] Say, Mistah Revenue, I wonder if you know what you're +up against?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. What do you mean?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I mean I gotta kill you.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>Rising, pauses.</i>] Well, that lets me out.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. What do yu mean?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I mean that I've been trying to commit suicide for the last two +months, but I haven't had the nerve.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Startled.</i>] Suicide?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Yes. Now that you're willing to kill me, the problem is solved.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Why, what d'ye want to commit suicide fer?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I just want to stop living, that's all.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, yu must have a reason.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. No special reason—I find life dull and I'd like to get out of +it.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Dull?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Yes—I hate to go to bed—I hate to get up—I don't care for +food—I can't drink liquor—I find people either malicious or dull—I +see by the fate of my acquaintances, both men and women, that love is a +farce. I have seen fame and preference come to those who least deserved +them, while the whole world kicked and cuffed the worthy ones. The +craftier schemer gets the most money and glory, while the fair-minded +dealer is humiliated in the bankruptcy court. In the name of the law +every crime is committed; in the name of religion every vice is +indulged; in the name of education greatest ignorance is rampant.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I don't git all of that, but I reckon you're some put out.<a name="page_248" id="page_248"></a></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I am. The world's a failure ... what's more, it's a farce. I +don't like it but I can't change it, so I'm just aching for a chance to +get out of it.... [<i>Approaching</i> <span class="smcap">Luke</span>.] And you, my dear friend, are +going to present me the opportunity.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Yes, I reckon you'll get your wish now.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Good ... if you only knew how I've tried to get killed.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, why didn't you kill yerself?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I was afraid.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Afreed o' what—hurtin' yourself?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. No, afraid of the consequences.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Whad d'ye mean?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Do you believe in another life after this one?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I kan't say ez I ever give it much thought.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Well, don't—because if you do you'll never kill another Crosby +... not even a revenue officer.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. 'Tain't that bad, is it?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Worse. Twenty times I've had a revolver to my head—crazy to +die—and then as my finger pressed the trigger I'd get a terrible +dread—a dread that I was plunging into worse terrors than this world +ever knew. If killing were the end it would be easy, but what if it's +only the beginning of something worse?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, you gotta take some chances.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I'll not take that one. You know, Mr. Luke, life was given to +us by some one who probably never intended that we should take it, and +that some one has something ready for people who destroy his property. +That's what frightens me.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. You do too much worryin' to be a regular suicide.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Yes, I do. That's why I changed my plan.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. What plan?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. My plan for dying.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Oh, then you didn't give up the idea?<a name="page_249" id="page_249"></a></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. No, indeed—I'm still determined to die, but I'm going to make +some one else responsible.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Oh—so you hain't willing to pay fer yer own funeral music?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. No, sir. I'll furnish the passenger, but some one else must buy +the ticket. You see, when I finally decided I'd be killed, I immediately +exposed myself to every danger I knew.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. How?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. In a thousand ways.... [<i>Pause.</i>] Did you ever see an +automobile?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. No.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. They go faster than steam engines, and they don't <i>stay</i> on +tracks. Did you ever hear of Fifth Avenue, New York?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. No.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Fifth Avenue is jammed with automobiles, eight deep all day +long. People being killed every day. I crossed Fifth Avenue a thousand +times a day, every day for weeks, never once trying to get out of the +way, and always praying I'd be hit.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. And couldn't yu git hit?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>In disgust.</i>] No. Automobiles only hit people who try to get +out of the way. [<i>Pause.</i>] When that failed, I frequented the lowest +dives on the Bowery, flashing a roll of money and wearing diamonds, +hoping they'd kill me for them. They stole the money and diamonds, but +never touched me.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Couldn't you pick a fight?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I'm coming to that. You know up North they believe that a man +can be killed in the South for calling another man a liar.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. That's right.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. It is, is it? Well, I've called men liars from Washington to +Atlanta, and I'm here to tell you about it.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. They must a took pity on ye.<a name="page_250" id="page_250"></a></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Do you know Two Gun Jake that keeps the dive down in Henderson?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I should think I do.... Jake's killed enough of 'em.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. He's a bad man, ain't he?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. He's no trifler.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I wound up in Jake's place two nights ago, pretending to be +drunk. Jake was cursing niggers.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. He's allus doin' that.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. So I elbowed my way up to the bar and announced that I was an +expert in the discovery of nigger blood ... could tell a nigger who was +63-64ths white.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Ye kin?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. No, I can't, but I made them believe it. I then offered to look +them over and tell them if they had any nigger blood in them. A few of +them sneaked away, but the rest stood for it. I passed them all until I +got to Two Gun Jake. I examined his eyeballs, looked at his +finger-nails, and said, "You're a nigger."</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. An' what did Jake do?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. He turned pale, took me into the back room. He said: "Honest to +God, mister, can ye see nigger blood in me?" I said: "Yes." "There's no +mistake about it?" "Not a bit," I answered. "Good God," he said, "I +always suspected it." Then he pulled out his gun—</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Eh ... eh?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. And shot <i>himself</i>.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Jake shot hisself!... Is he dead?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I don't know—I was too disgusted to wait. I wandered around +until I thought of you moonshiners ... scrambled around in the mountains +until I found your still. I <i>sat</i> on it and waited until you boys showed +up, and here I am, and you're going to kill me.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Pause.</i>] Ah, so ye want us to do yer killin' fer ye, do ye?<a name="page_251" id="page_251"></a></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. You're my last hope. If I fail this time I may as well give it +up.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. [<i>Takes out revolver, turns sidewise and secretly removes +cartridges from chamber. Rises.</i>] What wuz that noise?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Lays revolver on table and steps outside of door.</i> <span class="smcap">Revenue</span> <i>looks +at revolver, apparently without interest</i>.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Luke</span> <i>cautiously enters doorway and expresses surprise at seeing</i> +<span class="smcap">Revenue</span> <i>making no attempt to secure revolver. Feigning excitement, +goes to table, picks up gun.</i></p></div> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I reckon I'm gettin' careless, leavin' a gun layin' around here +that-a-way. Didn't you see it?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, why didn't ye grab it?</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. What for?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. To git the drop on me.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Can't you understand what I've been telling you, mister? I +don't <i>want</i> the drop on you.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, doggone if I don't believe yer tellin' me the truth. Thought +I'd just see what ye'd do. Ye see, I emptied it first.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Opens up gun.</i></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. That wasn't necessary.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Well, I reckon ye better git along out o' here, mister.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. You don't mean you're weakening?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I ain't got no call to do your killin' fer you. If ye hain't sport +enough to do it yerself, I reckon ye kin go on sufferin'.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. But I told you why I don't want to do it. One murder more or +less means nothing to you. You don't care anything about the hereafter.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Mebbe I don't, but there ain't no use my takin' any more chances +than I have to. And what's more, mister, from what you been tellin' me I +reckon there's a charm on you, and I ain't goin' to take no chances +goin' agin charms.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. So <i>you're</i> going to go back on me?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Yes, siree.<a name="page_252" id="page_252"></a></p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Well, maybe some of the other boys will be willing. I'll wait +till they come.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. The other boys ain't goin' to see you. You're a leavin' this yer +place right now—now! It won't do no good. You may as well go peaceable; +ye ain't got no right to expect us to bear yer burdens.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Damn it all! I've spoiled it again.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. I reckon you better make up yer mind to go on livin'.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. That looks like the only way out.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Come on, I'll let you ride my horse to town. It's the only one we +got, so yu can leave it at Two Gun Jake's, and one o' the boys'll go git +it, or I reckon I'll go over myself and see if Jake made a job of it.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. I suppose it's no use arguing with you.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Not a bit. Come on, you.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Well, I'd like to leave my address so if you ever come to New +York you can look me up.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. 'Tain't likely I'll ever come to New York.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Well, I'll leave it, anyhow. Have you a piece of paper?</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Paper what you write on? Never had none, mister.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. [<i>Looking about room, sees</i> <span class="smcap">Jim Dunn</span>'s <i>picture on wall, goes +to it, takes it down</i>.] If you don't mind, I'll put it on the back of +Jim Dunn's picture. [<i>Placing picture on table, begins to print.</i>] I'll +print it for you, so it'll be easy to read. My address is here, so if +you change your mind you can send for me.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. 'Tain't likely—come on. [<i>Both go to doorway</i>—<span class="smcap">Luke</span> <i>extends +hand</i>, <span class="smcap">Revenue</span> <i>takes it</i>.] Good-by, mister—cheer up ... there's the +horse.</p> + +<p>R<small>EVENUE</small>. Good-by. [<i>Shaking</i> <span class="smcap">Luke's</span> <i>hand</i>.</p> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Don't be so glum, mister. Lemme hear you laff jist onct before yu +go. [<span class="smcap">Revenue</span> <i>begins to laugh weakly</i>.] Aw, come on, laff out with it +hearty. [<span class="smcap">Revenue</span> <i>laughs louder</i>.] Heartier yit.<a name="page_253" id="page_253"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Revenue</span> <i>is now shouting his laughter, and is heard laughing until +hoof-beats of his horse die down in the distance</i>.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Luke</span> <i>watches for a moment, then returns to table—takes a +drink—picks up picture—turns it around several times before +getting it right—then begins to study. In attempting to make out +the name he slowly traces in the air with his index finger a +capital "J"—then mutters "J-J-J," then describes a letter +"I"—mutters "I-I-I," then a letter "M"—muttering "M-M-M, +J-I-M—J-I-M—JIM." In the same way describes and mutters D-U-N-N.</i></p></div> + +<p>L<small>UKE</small>. Jim Dunn! By God! [<i>He rushes to corner, grabs shot-gun, runs to +doorway, raises gun in direction stranger has gone—looks intently—then +slowly lets gun fall to his side, and scans the distance with his hand +shadowing his eyes—steps inside—slowly puts gun in corner—seats +himself at table.</i>] Jim Dunn!—and he begged me to kill 'im!!</p> + +<p><a name="page_254" id="page_254"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_255" id="page_255"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +MODESTY<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +PAUL HERVIEU</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>Modesty</i> is reprinted by special permission of Barrett H. Clark, the +translator of the play from the French, and of Samuel French, publisher, +New York City. All rights reserved. For permission to perform, address +Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York City.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_256" id="page_256"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_257" id="page_257"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="PAUL_HERVIEU" id="PAUL_HERVIEU"></a>PAUL HERVIEU</p> + +<p>Paul Hervieu, one of the foremost of contemporary French dramatists, was +born in 1857 at Neuilly, near Paris. Although he prepared for the bar, +having passed the examination at twenty, and practised his profession +for a few years, he soon set to writing short stories and novels which +appeared in the early eighties. <i>The Nippers</i>, in 1890, established his +reputation as a dramatist. The remainder of his life was given to +writing for the stage. In 1900 he was elected to the French Academy. He +died October 15, 1915.</p> + +<p>In addition to <i>The Nippers</i>, Hervieu's best-known long plays are <i>The +Passing of the Torch</i>, <i>The Labyrinth</i>, and <i>Know Thyself</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Modesty</i> is his well-known one-act play. In subtlety of technic and in +delicacy of touch it is one of the finest examples of French one-act +plays. Its humor and light, graceful satire are noteworthy.<a name="page_258" id="page_258"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">PERSONS IN THE PLAY</td></tr> +<tr><td align="center"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="center"><span class="smcap">Henriette</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="center"><span class="smcap">Jacques</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="center"><span class="smcap">Albert</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_259" id="page_259"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="MODESTY" id="MODESTY"></a>MODESTY</h2> + +<p class="hang">TIME: <i>The present.</i></p> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>A drawing-room. Entrance</i>, C; <i>sofa, chairs, writing-desk.</i> +<span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Henriette</span> <i>enter</i> C, <i>from dinner</i>. <span class="smcap">Henriette</span> <i>in +ball costume</i>, <span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>in evening dress. They come down</i> C.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. What is it? Is it so terribly embarrassing?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. You can easily guess.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. You're so long-winded. You make me weary—come to the point.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I'll risk all at a stroke—My dear Henriette, we are cousins. I +am unmarried, you—a widow. Will you—will you be my wife?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Oh, my dear Jacques, what <i>are</i> you thinking of? We were such +good friends! And now you're going to be angry.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Why?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Because I'm not going to give you the sort of answer you'd +like.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. You don't—you don't think I'd make a good husband?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Frankly, no.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I don't please you?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. As a cousin you are charming; as a husband you would be quite +impossible.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. What have you against me?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Nothing that you're to blame for. It is merely the fault of +my character; <i>that</i> forces me to refuse you.<a name="page_260" id="page_260"></a></p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. But I can't see why you——?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>With an air of great importance.</i>] A great change is taking +place in the hearts of us women. We have resolved henceforward not to be +treated as dolls, but as creatures of reason. As for me, I am most +unfortunate, for nobody ever did anything but flatter me. I have always +been too self-satisfied, too——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. You have always been the most charming of women, the most——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Stop! It's exactly that sort of exaggeration that's begun to +make me so unsure of myself. I want you to understand once for all, +Jacques, I have a conscience, and, furthermore, it is beginning to +develop. I have taken some important resolutions.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. What <i>do</i> you mean?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I have resolved to better myself, to raise my moral and +intellectual standards, and to do that I must be guided, criticised——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. But you already possess every imaginable quality! You are +charitable, cultured, refined——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Annoyed.</i>] Please!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Turns away and sits on settee.</i> <span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>addresses her from +behind chair</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. You are discreet, witty——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. The same old compliments! Everybody tells me that. I want to +be preached to, contradicted, scolded——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. You could never stand <i>that</i>.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Yes, I could. I should be happy to profit by the criticism. +It would inspire me.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I'd like to see the man who has the audacity to criticise you +to your face——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. That is enough! I trust you are aware that you are not the +person fit to exercise this influence over me?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. How could I? Everything about you pleases me. It can never be +otherwise.<a name="page_261" id="page_261"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. How interesting! That's the very reason I rejected your +proposal. I sha'n't marry until I am certain that I shall not be +continually pestered with compliments and flattery and submission. The +man who marries me shall make it his business to remind me of my +shortcomings, to correct all my mistakes. He must give me the assurance +that I am continually bettering myself.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. And this—husband—have you found him already?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. What—? Oh, who knows?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Perhaps it's—Albert?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Perhaps it is—what of it?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Really!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. You want me to speak frankly?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Of course.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Then—you wouldn't be annoyed if I said something nice about +Albert?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>brings down</i> <span class="smcap">C.</span> <i>chair which is by desk, facing</i> +<span class="smcap">Henriette</span>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Why, he's your friend!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Oh! So you, too, have a good opinion of him?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Certainly.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Well, what would you say of him?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>Trying to be fair.</i>] I'd trust him with money—I've never +heard he was a thief.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. But in other ways?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>Still conscientious.</i>] I believe him to be +somewhat—somewhat——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Wilful? Headstrong?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Um—uncultured, let us say.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. As you like—but for my part, I find that that air of his +inspires absolute confidence. He knows how to be severe at times——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. You're mistaken about that; that's only simple brute force. Go +to the Zoo: the ostrich, the boa constrictor, the rhinoceros, all +produce the same effect on you as your Albert——<a name="page_262" id="page_262"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. My Albert? My Albert? Oh, I don't appropriate him so quickly +as all that. His qualifications as censor are not yet entirely +demonstrated.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>rises and approaches</i> <span class="smcap">Henriette</span>, <i>who maintains an air of +cold dignity</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. For heaven's sake, Henriette, stop this nonsense!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. What nonsense?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Tell me you are only playing with me. That you only wanted to +put my love to the test! To make me jealous! To torture me! You have +succeeded. Stop it, for heaven's sake——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. My dear friend, I'm very sorry for you. I wish I could help +you, but I cannot. I have given you a perfect description of the husband +I want, and I am heart-broken that you bear so remote a resemblance to +him.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Only promise you will think over your decision.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. It is better to stop right now.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Don't send me away like this. Don't——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I might give you false hopes. I have only to tell you that I +shall never consent to be the wife of a man who cannot be the severest +of censors.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>Kneeling.</i>] I beg you!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. No, no, no, Jacques! Spare me that. [<i>A telephone rings in +the next room.</i>] There's the 'phone——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Don't go!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Henriette</span> <i>rises hastily and goes to door</i>. <span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>tries for a +moment to stop her</i>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I must go. Go away, I tell you. I'll be furious if I find you +here when I come back.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Henriette!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Coming down</i> L. <i>to table</i>.] Not now! Please, Jacques. +[<i>Exit.</i>]</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I can't leave it that way. I am the husband who<a name="page_263" id="page_263"></a> will make her +happy. But how? That is the question. [<i>Pause.</i>] Ah, Albert!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span>. <i>He shakes hands with</i> <span class="smcap">Jacques</span>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. How are you, rival?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>Gravely.</i>] My friend, we are no longer rivals.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. How's that?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I have just had a talk with Henriette; she refuses to marry +either one of us.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Did she mention me?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Casually.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Both sit down</i>, <span class="smcap">Albert</span> <i>on sofa</i>, <span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>on chair near it</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. What did she say?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Oh, I wouldn't repeat it; it wouldn't be friendly.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. I <i>must</i> know.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Very well, then—she said that you had not succeeded—nor had +I—to find the way to her heart. Between you and me, we've got a +high-minded woman to deal with, a philosopher who detests flattery. It +seems you have been in the habit of paying her compliments——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. I never pay compliments.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Whatever you did, she didn't like it. Moreover—since you want +the whole truth—you seem to her a bit—ridiculous.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Pardon?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. The very word: ridiculous. She wants a husband who will act as +a sort of conscience pilot. Evidently, you haven't appealed to her in +that capacity.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Sometimes I used to be rather sharp with her——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. You did it too daintily, perhaps; you lacked severity. I'll +wager you smiled, instead of scowled—that would have been fatal!</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. I don't understand.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Henriette is a singular woman; to get her, you<a name="page_264" id="page_264"></a> have to tell +her that you don't like her—her pride demands it. Tell her all her bad +qualities, straight from the shoulder.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. [<i>Feeling himself equal to the task.</i>] Don't worry about that! +[<i>Rises and walks about.</i>] I know women love to be told things straight +out.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I'm not the man for that; nor are you, I suppose?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. No? Jacques, I'm awfully obliged to you; you've done me a good +turn——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>, Don't mention it——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. You want to do me one more favor?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>Devotedly.</i>] Anything you like!</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Promise me you'll never let Henrietta know that you told me +this?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I promise; but why?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. You know she has to understand that my behavior toward her is in +character. Natural, you see.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Oh, you're going at it strenuously.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. I am.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Your decision honors you.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Let's not have Henriette find us together. Would you mind +disappearing?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. With pleasure. I'll look in later and get the news.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>rises</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Thanks, Jacques.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Good-by, Albert.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Exits after shaking hands cordially with</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Re-entering as</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span> <i>assumes a rather severe attitude</i>.] +How are you? [<i>Pause.</i>] Have you seen Jacques?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. [<i>With a determined air.</i>] No, Henriette. Thank God!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Why?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Because it pains me to see men in your presence whom you care +nothing for.<a name="page_265" id="page_265"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Delighted.</i>] You don't like that?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sitting down on sofa.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. No, I don't. And I'd like to tell you——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. About my relations with Jacques?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Oh, he's not the only one.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Heaps of others, I suppose?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. [<i>Sits on chair near sofa.</i>] You suppose correctly; heaps.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Really?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. You are a coquette.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. You think so?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. I am positive.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I suppose I displease you in other ways, too?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. In a great many other ways.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Really delighted.</i>] How confidently you say that!</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. So much the worse if you don't like it!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Quite the contrary, my dear Albert; you can't imagine how you +please me when you talk like that. It's perfectly adorable.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. It makes very little difference to me whether I please you or +not. I speak according to my temperament. Perhaps it is a bit +authoritative, but I can't help <i>that</i>.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. You are superb.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Oh, no. I'm just myself.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Oh, if you were only the——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. I haven't the slightest idea what you were about to say, but +I'll guarantee that there's not a more inflexible temper than mine in +Paris.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I can easily believe it. [<i>Pause.</i>] Now tell me in what way +you think I'm coquettish.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sitting on edge of sofa in an interested attitude.</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span> <i>takes +out cigarette, lights and smokes it</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. That's easy; for instance, when you go to the theatre, to a +reception, to the races. As soon as you arrive the men flock about in +dozens; those who don't know you come to be introduced. You're the +talking-stock of society. Now I should be greatly obliged if you would +tell me to what you attribute this notoriety?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Modestly.</i>] Well, I should attribute it to the fact that I +am—agreeable, and pleasant——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. There are many women no less so.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Summoning up all her modesty to reply.</i>] You force me to +recognize the fact——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. And I know many women fully as pleasant as you who don't flaunt +their favors in the face of everybody; <i>they</i> preserve some semblance of +dignity, a certain air of aloof distinction that it would do you no harm +to acquire.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>With a gratitude that is conscious of its bounds.</i>] Thanks, +thanks so much. [<i>Drawing back to a corner of the sofa.</i>] I am deeply +obliged to you——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Not at all.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. In the future I shall try to behave more decorously.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Another thing——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>The first signs of impatience begin to appear.</i>] What? +Another thing to criticise?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. A thousand! [<i>Settling himself comfortably.</i></p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Well, hurry up.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. You must rid yourself of your excessive and ridiculous +school-girl sentimentality.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I wonder just on what you base your statement. Would you +oblige me so far as to explain that?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. With pleasure. I remember one day in the country you were in +tears because a <i>poor</i> little mouse had fallen into the claws of a +<i>wretched</i> cat; two minutes later you were sobbing because the <i>poor</i> +cat choked in swallowing the <i>wretched</i> little mouse.<a name="page_267" id="page_267"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. That was only my kindness to dumb animals. Is it wrong to be +kind to dumb animals?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She is about to rise when</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span> <i>stops her with a gesture</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. That would be of no consequence, if it weren't that you were of +so contradictory a nature that you engage in the emptiest, most +frivolous conversations, the most——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Slightly disdainful.</i>] Ah, you are going too far! You make +me doubt your power of analysis. I am interested only in noble and high +things——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. And yet as soon as the conversation takes a serious turn, it's +appalling to see you; you yawn and look bored to extinction.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. There you are right—partly.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. You see!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Sharp and even antagonistic.</i>] Yes, I have that unfortunate +gift of understanding things before people have finished explaining +them. While the others are waiting for the explanation, I can't wait, +and I fly on miles ahead——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Hm—that sounds probable; I sha'n't say anything more about that +just now. But while I'm on the subject, I have more than once noticed +that you are guilty of the worst vice woman ever possessed——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. And what, if you please?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Vanity.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I vain? Oh, you're going too far!</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. [<i>Unruffled.</i>] Not a word! Every time I tell you a fault, you +twist it round to your own advantage. Whereas you are really worse——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Rising and gathering her skirts about her with virtuous +indignation.</i>] You are rude! I suppose you would find fault with me if I +considered myself more polite than the person whom I have the honor to +address?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. I hope you don't intend that remark as personal.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I certainly do.<a name="page_268" id="page_268"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She crosses to the other side of the stage and sits down.</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span> +<i>rises and goes up to her</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Henriette! No! [<i>Laughing.</i>] I see your trick.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. What do you mean?</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. You can't deceive me by pretending to be angry. You wanted to +see whether I could withstand your temper. Let us now proceed to the +next chapter: your manner of dressing.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Now really outraged.</i>] My manner of dressing? You dare!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Henriette</span> <i>crosses</i> L. <i>Front</i>, <span class="smcap">Albert</span> <i>following her</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Yes, that will be enough for to-day——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. And then you'll begin again to-morrow!</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. And do you think for one minute that I'll listen to you while +you insult me to my face? <i>You</i> are the vain one, to think you can come +to that! <i>You</i> are the frivolous one, <i>you</i> are the——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. [<i>Slightly perturbed.</i>] Be careful what you say!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I'll take care of that. Let me tell you that you are a +detestable cynic. You are disgustingly personal; always dwelling on +details, on the least——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Which is as much as calling me a fool?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Just about. You would be if you didn't read your morning +paper regularly; so regularly that I know in advance exactly what you +are going to say to me during the day.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Why not call me a parrot?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. That would flatter you, for you don't speak as well as a +parrot; a parrot's memory never gets clouded, a parrot has at least the +common politeness to——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. [<i>Between his teeth.</i>] I won't stand for this. I wonder how you +could have endured me so long if you thought me such a fool.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I believed you harmless.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Are you aware that you have wounded me cruelly?<a name="page_269" id="page_269"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. <i>You</i> have wounded <i>me</i>. Thank heaven, though, we had this +discussion! Now I'll know how to conduct myself toward you in the +future.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Thank heaven for the same thing! It was high time! I grieve to +think that only last night I had fully made up my mind to ask you to be +my wife!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. My dear friend, if you ever do so, I shall show you the door +immediately.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>hurriedly</i>. <span class="smcap">Henriette</span> <i>runs to him as for +protection</i>.</p></div> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. What's all this noise? What's the matter?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Oh, Jacques—I'm so glad you've come.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Just in time! You put an end to our pleasant little tête-à-tête.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. But what's happened?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Well, monsieur here——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. No, it was mademoiselle who——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Henriette</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span> <i>each take an arm of</i> <span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>and bring +him down-stage</i> C. <i>His attention is constantly shifting from one +to the other, as they address him in turn.</i></p></div> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Just think, Jacques——</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Jacques, she had the audacity to——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Stop! I'm going to tell him first——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. You're both too excited to explain anything. Albert, you take a +little stroll and cool off.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. [<i>Retreating toward the door.</i>] Charmed.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Then I can draw a free breath.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span>.] I'll fix up things while you're away.</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. [<i>To both.</i>] I won't give in.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Neither will I.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Tut, tut!</p> + +<p>A<small>LBERT</small>. Good-day, mademoiselle.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Good-day.<a name="page_270" id="page_270"></a></p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Good-day, Albert.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Exit</i> <span class="smcap">Albert</span>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Thank goodness, we're rid of him!</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>Sympathetically.</i>] Tell me all about it.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>Sits down on sofa, inviting</i> <span class="smcap">Jacques</span> <i>by a gesture to do +the same. He sits beside her.</i>] That man invented the most abominable +things about me; criticised me to my face!</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. He did!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. It was so ridiculous—makes me sick to think about it.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. My dear Henriette, don't think about it. Albert must have +behaved like a brute to make you so angry.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Yes, don't you think so? <i>You</i> think I'm right?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>Loyally.</i>] Of course I do.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>At her ease once more.</i>] You encourage me, Jacques.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. When I saw you were angry I said to myself at once: "Henriette +is right."</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Really?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I said it because I knew you were by nature peace-loving and +considerate——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>With profound conviction.</i>] Well, I think that's the least +that could be said of me.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. In any event, you are always tactful, you always——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. <i>You</i> know me, Jacques!</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I flatter myself. I felt instinctively you couldn't be wrong. +You have always been so admirably poised, so unfailingly considerate.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>With perfect simplicity.</i>] Frankly now, do I ever lose my +temper with you?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>In good faith.</i>] Never. With me you are always patient, +gracious, modest——<a name="page_271" id="page_271"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. But I remember, a little while ago, I made you suffer——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Yes, I was unhappy. But "if after every storm comes such a +calm"——</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. It was all my fault. You understand me; you are truly a +friend.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Nothing more?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Rising, but standing near her.</i> <span class="smcap">Henriette</span> <i>blushingly looks down +at her shoe</i>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Oh——</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Prove that you mean that sincerely.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. What have I to do? [<i>Same business.</i></p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Place your future in my hands; marry me.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. [<i>With downcast eyes.</i>] I was just thinking about it. [<i>Same +business, but with repressed joy.</i></p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>About to embrace her.</i>] Ah!</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Wait!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Complete metamorphosis. Her joy is still present, but it has +taken on a playful, serio-comic aspect. Rising and putting her hand +in his.</i></p></div> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Why do you hesitate?</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Jacques, do you remember what I told you not long ago?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. In spite of that, are you quite sure that I am not vain or +coquettish?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I am certain.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. You are also firmly resolved to be my moral guide, critic, +helper?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>Stolid as ever.</i>] I am.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. I make one condition.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. Name it.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. On your word of honor?</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. On my word of honor. Tell me.<a name="page_272" id="page_272"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Will you swear to tell me, without pity, every time you find +me at fault? Swear.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. I swear.</p> + +<p>H<small>ENRIETTE</small>. Then you have my promise.</p> + +<p>J<small>ACQUES</small>. [<i>As they embrace.</i>] Dearest!</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_273" id="page_273"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +THE DEACON'S HAT<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +JEANNETTE MARKS</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>The Deacon's Hat</i> is reprinted by special arrangement with Miss +Jeannette Marks and with Little, Brown and Company, Boston, the +publisher of <i>Three Welsh Plays</i>, from which this play is taken. All +rights reserved. For permission to perform address the author in care of +the publisher.</p></div> + +<p><a name="page_274" id="page_274"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_275" id="page_275"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="JEANNETTE_MARKS" id="JEANNETTE_MARKS"></a>JEANNETTE MARKS</p> + +<p>Jeannette Marks, well-known essayist, poet, and playwright, was born in +1875 at Chattanooga, Tennessee, but spent her early life in +Philadelphia, where her father, the late William Dennis Marks, was +professor of dynamics in the University of Pennsylvania and president of +the Edison Electric Light Company. She attended school in Dresden, and +in 1900 was graduated from Wellesley College. She obtained her master's +degree from Wellesley in 1903. Her graduate studies were continued at +the Bodleian Library and at the British Museum. Since 1901 she has been +on the staff of the English Department at Mount Holyoke College, South +Hadley, Massachusetts. Her chief courses are Nineteenth Century Poetry +and Play-writing.</p> + +<p>Miss Marks's interest in Welsh life is the result of her hiking several +summers among the Welsh hills and valleys. She became intimately +acquainted with Welsh peasant life. It is said that Edward Knobloch, +well-known dramatist, on one of her homeward voyages from one of her +summer outings in Wales, pointed out to Miss Marks the dramatic +possibilities of the material she had thus acquired. <i>Three Welsh Plays</i> +was the result. Two of these plays, without the author's knowledge, were +entered in 1911 for the Welsh National Theatre prize contest. To her +credit, the plays won the prize. The complete volume appeared in 1917.</p> + +<p><i>The Deacon's Hat</i> is a fine study of the life of the common folk of +Wales.<a name="page_276" id="page_276"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Deacon Roberts</span>, <i>a stout, oldish Welshman</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Hugh Williams</span>, <i>an earnest, visionary young man who owns Y Gegin</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Neli Williams</span>, <i>his capable wife</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Jones</span>, <i>the Wash, a stout, kindly woman who wishes to buy soap</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Jenkins</span>, <i>the Midwife, after pins for her latest baby</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Tom Morris</span>, <i>the Sheep, who comes to buy tobacco and remains to pray</i><a name="page_277" id="page_277"></a></td></tr> +</table> + +<h2><a name="THE_DEACONS_HATI" id="THE_DEACONS_HATI"></a>THE DEACON'S HAT<a name="FNanchor_I_9" id="FNanchor_I_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_I_9" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[I]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>A little shop called Y Gegin (The Kitchen), in Bala, North +Wales.</i></p> + +<p class="hang">TIME: <i>Monday morning at half-past eleven.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>To the right is the counter of Y Gegin, set out with a bountiful +supply of groceries; behind the counter are grocery-stocked +shelves. Upon the counter is a good-sized enamel-ware bowl filled +with herring pickled in brine and leek, also a basket of fresh +eggs, a jar of pickles, some packages of codfish, a half dozen +loaves of bread, a big round cheese, several pounds of butter +wrapped in print paper, etc., etc.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>To the left are a cheerful glowing fire and ingle.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>At the back center is a door; between the door and the fire stands +a grandfather's clock with a shining brass face. Between the clock +and the door, back centre, is a small tridarn [Welsh dresser] and a +chair. From the rafters hang flitches of bacon, hams, bunches of +onions, herbs, etc. On either side of the fireplace are latticed +windows, showing a glimpse of the street. Before the fire is a +small, round, three-legged table; beside it a tall, straight-backed +chair.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Between the table and left is a door which is the entrance to Y +Gegin and from which, on a metal elbow, dangles a large bell.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>At rise of curtain Hugh Williams enters at back centre, absorbed +in reading a volume of Welsh theological essays. He is dressed in a +brightly striped vest, a short, heavy cloth coat, cut away in front +and with lapels trimmed with brass buttons, swallowtails<a name="page_278" id="page_278"></a> behind, +also trimmed with brass buttons, stock wound around his neck, and +tight trousers down to his boot-tops.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Neli Williams, his wife, a comely, capable young woman, busy with +her knitting every instant she talks, is clad in her market +costume, a scarlet cloak, and a tall black Welsh beaver. Over her +arm is an immense basket.</i></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Commandingly.</i>] Hughie, put down that book!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Still going on reading.</i>] Haven't I just said a man is his own +master, whatever!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Hughie, ye're to mind the shop while I'm gone!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Patiently.</i>] Yiss, yiss.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. I don't think ye hear a word I am sayin' whatever.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Yiss, I hear every word ye're sayin'.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. What is it, then?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Weakly.</i>] 'Tis all about—about—the—the weather whatever!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Ye've not heard a word, an' ye're plannin' to read that book from +cover to cover, I can see.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>A little too quickly.</i>] Nay, I have no plans....</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He tucks book away in back coat pocket over-hastily.</i></p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Hugh!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Weakly.</i>] Nay, I <i>have</i> no plans whatever!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Reproachfully.</i>] Hugh—<i>ie</i>! 'Twould be the end of sellin' +anythin' to anybody if I leave ye with a book whatever! Give me that +book!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Obstinately.</i>] Nay, I'll no read the book.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Give me that book!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Rising a little.</i>] Nay. I say a man is his own master whatever!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Finding the book hidden in his coat-tail pocket.</i>] Is he? Well, +I'll no leave ye with any masterful temptations to be readin'.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Ye've no cause to take this book away from me.<a name="page_279" id="page_279"></a></p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Opens book and starts with delight.</i>] 'Tis Deacon Roberts's new +book on "The Flamin' Wickedness of Babylon." Where did ye get it?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Reassured by her interest.</i>] He lent it to me this morning.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Resolutely.</i>] Well, I will take it away from ye this noon till I +am home again whatever!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Sulkily.</i>] Sellin' groceries is not salvation. They sold +groceries in Babylon; Deacon Roberts says so.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Looking at book with ill-disguised eagerness.</i>] I dunno as +anybody ever found salvation by givin' away all he had for nothin'! 'Tis +certain Deacon Roberts has not followed that way.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Still sulkily.</i>] A man is his own master, I say.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Absent-mindedly, her nose in the book.</i>] Is he? Well, indeed!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Crossly.</i>] Aye, he is. [<i>Pointedly.</i>] An' I was not plannin' to +give away the book whatever.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Closing volume with a little sigh, as for stolen delights, and +speaking hastily.</i>] An' I am not talkin' about acceptin' books, but +about butter an' eggs an' cheese an' all the other groceries!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Aye, ye'll get no blessin' from such worldliness.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Absent-mindedly.</i>] Maybe not, but ye will get a dinner from that +unblessed worldliness an' find no fault, I'm thinkin'. [<i>Her hand +lingering on the book, which she opens.</i>] But such wonderful theology! +An' such eloquence! Such an understandin' of sin! Such glowin' pictures +of Babylon!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Aye, hot! I tell ye, Neli, there's no man in the parish has such a +gift of eloquence as Deacon Roberts or such theology. In all Wales ye'll +not find stronger theology than his.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Ye have no need to tell me that! [<i>Looking for a place in which to +hide the book until she returns.</i>] Have I not a deep an' proper +admiration for theology? Have I not had one minister<a name="page_280" id="page_280"></a> an' five deacons +an' a revivalist in my family, to say nothin' at all of one composer of +hymns?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Yiss, yiss. Aye, 'tis a celebrated family. I am no sayin' anythin' +against your family.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Then what?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Pleadingly.</i>] Deacon Roberts has great fire with which to save +souls. We're needin' that book on Babylon's wickedness. Give it back to +me, Neli!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Oh, aye! [<i>Looks at husband.</i>] I'm not sayin' but that ye are +wicked, Hugh, an' needin' these essays, for ye have no ministers and +deacons and hymn composers among your kin.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Triumphantly.</i>] Aye, aye, that's it! That's it! An' the more +need have I to read till my nostrils are full of the smoke of—of +Babylon.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Absent-mindedly tucking book away on shelf as she talks.</i>] Aye, +but there has been some smoke about Deacon Roberts's reputation which +has come from some fire less far away than Babylon.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. What smoke?</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Evasively.</i>] Well, I am thinkin' about my eggs which vanished +one week ago to-day. There was no one in that mornin' but Deacon +Roberts. Mrs. Jones the Wash had come for her soap an' gone before I +filled that basket with eggs.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Watching her covertly, standing on tiptoe and craning his neck +as she stows away book.</i>] Yiss, yiss!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Slyly.</i>] Ask Deacon Roberts if cats steal eggs whatever?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Repeating.</i>] If cats steal eggs, if cats steal eggs.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Aye, not if eggs steal cats.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Craning neck.</i>] Yiss, yiss, if eggs steal cats!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Hugh—<i>ie</i>! Now ye'll never get it correct again! 'Tis if cats +steal eggs.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Sulkily.</i>] Well, I'm no carin' about cats with heaven starin' me +in the face.<a name="page_281" id="page_281"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>turns about swiftly with the quick, sudden motions +characteristic of her, and</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>shrinks into himself. She shakes +her finger at him and goes over to kiss him.</i></p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Hughie, lad, ye're not to touch the book while I am gone to +market.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Nay, nay, certainly not!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. And ye're to be on the lookout for Mrs. Jones the Wash, for Mrs. +Jenkins the Midwife—Jane Elin has a new baby, an' it'll be needin' +somethin'. [<i>Pointing to counter.</i>] Here is everythin' plainly marked. +Ye're no to undersell or give away anythin.' D'ye hear?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Aye, I hear!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. An' remember where the tobacco is, for this is the day Tom Morris +the Sheep comes in.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Aye, in the glass jar.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Good-by. I will return soon.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Indifferently.</i>] Good-by.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>leaves by door at back centre. Immediately</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>steals +toward the shelves where she hid the book</i>.</p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Thrusting head back in.</i>] Mind, Hughie lad, no readin'—nay, not +even any theology!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Stepping quickly away from shelves and repeating parrotlike.</i>] +Nay, nay, no readin', no sermons, not even any theology!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. An' no salvation till I come back!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She smiles, withdraws head, and is gone.</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>starts forward, +collides clumsily with the counter in his eagerness, knocks the +basket of eggs with his elbow, upsetting it. Several eggs break. He +shakes his head ruefully at the mess and as ruefully at the +counter. He finds book and hugs it greedily to him.</i></p></div> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Mournfully.</i>] Look at this! What did I say but that there was no +salvation sellin' groceries! If Neli could but see those eggs! [<i>He goes +behind counter and gets out a box of<a name="page_282" id="page_282"></a> eggs, from which he refills the +basket. The broken eggs he leaves untouched upon the floor. He opens his +volume of sermons and seats himself by a little three-legged table near +the fire. He sighs in happy anticipation. Hearing a slight noise, he +looks suspiciously at door, gets up, tiptoes across floor to street +door, and locks it quietly. An expression of triumph overspreads his +face.</i>] Da, if customers come, they will think no one is at home +whatever, an' I can read on! [<i>He seats himself at little three-legged +table, opens volume, smooths over its pages lovingly, and begins to read +slowly and halting over syllables.</i>] The smoke of Ba-by-lon was +hot—scorchin' hot. An' 'twas filled with Ba-ba-ba-baal stones, slimy +an' scorchin' hot also——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>There is the sound of feet coming up the shop steps, followed by +a hand trying the door-knob.</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>looks up from his sermons, an +expression of innocent triumph on his face. The door-knob is tried +again, the door rattled.</i></p></div> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Then some one rings the shop door-bell.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Calling.</i>] Mrs. Williams, mum, have ye any soap? +[<i>No answer. Calling.</i>] Mrs. Williams! Mrs. Williams!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>nods approvingly and lifts his volume to read</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Where are they all whatever? I will just look in at +the window, [<i>A large, kindly face is anxiously flattened against the +window. At that</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>drops in consternation under the three-legged +table</i>.] Uch, what's that shadow skippin' under the table? No doubt a +rat after the groceries. Mrs. Williams, mum, Mrs. Williams! Well, +indeed, they're out.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She pounds once more on the door with a heavy fist, rings, and +then goes. Suddenly the door back centre opens, and</i> <span class="smcap">Neli Williams</span> +<i>appears</i>.</p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>She does not see</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>and peers around for him</i>.] What is all +that bell-ringing about?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>crawls out from under the table</i>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Hush, she's gone!<a name="page_283" id="page_283"></a></p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Amazed, and whispering to herself.</i>] Under the table!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Rising and putting up his hand as a sign for her to keep +silent.</i>] Nay, 'twas Mrs. Jones the Wash come to buy her soap whatever!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Aye, well, why didn't she come in whatever?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Whispering.</i>] I locked the door, Neli, so I could finish readin' +those essays whatever! An' then she looked in at the window, an' I had +to get under the table.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Indignantly.</i>] Locked the door against a customer, an' after all +I said! An' crawled under a table! Hugh Williams, your wits are goin' +quite on the downfall!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>In a whisper.</i>] Aye, but Neli, those essays—an' I thought ye +had gone to market.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. I had started, but I came back for my purse. Put down that book!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Aye, but, Neli——</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Angrily.</i>] Much less of heaven an' much more of earth is what I +need in a husband! Ye have sent away a customer; very like Mrs. Jones +the Wash after soap will go elsewhere.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Aye, but Neli....</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Steps are heard approaching.</i></p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Get up! Some one is coming.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>gets up very unwillingly</i>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Whispering still.</i>] Aye, but Neli....</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Angrily.</i>] Put down that book, I say! [<i>She crunches over some +eggshells.</i>] Eggs? Broken?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Putting down book.</i>] Aye, Neli, my elbow an' the eggs in +Babylon....</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] Aye, I see beasts in Babylon here +together—doleful creatures smearin' one an' sixpence worth of eggs all +over the floor. An' a half-dozen eggs gone last week. [<i>Wiping up +eggs.</i>] An' I'm to suppose Babylon had something to do with that +half-dozen eggs, too? They were put in the<a name="page_284" id="page_284"></a> basket after Mrs. Jones the +Wash had left whatever, an' before Deacon Roberts came.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Neli, I did not say——</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Still angrily.</i>] Well, indeed, unlock that door!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Going to unlock door.</i>] But, Neli....</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Disappearing through door back centre.</i>] Not a word! Your mind +has gone quite on the downfall—lockin' doors against your own bread and +butter an' soap.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Unlocking door sullenly.</i>] But, Neli, salvation an' soap....</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Snappily.</i>] Salvation an' soap are as thick as thieves.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. But, Neli, a man is his own master.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Yiss, I see he is!</p> + +<p class="r">[<span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>goes out, slamming door noisily</i>.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Dear anwyl, she seems angry!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>opens street door left just as</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>goes out through +kitchen, by door back centre</i>. <span class="smcap">Deacon Roberts</span> <i>enters the door</i> +<span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>has unlocked. He looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>, <i>smiles, and goes over to +counter in a businesslike way. He is a stout man, dressed in a +black broadcloth cutaway coat, tight trousers, a drab vest, high +collar and stock, woollen gloves, a muffler wound about his neck +and face, and a tall Welsh beaver hat. Under his arm he carries a +book.</i></p></div> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Speaking affectionately, pulling off his gloves, +putting down book on counter, and beginning eagerly to touch the various +groceries.</i>] Essays on Babylon to-day, Hughie lad?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Looking about for</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>and speaking fretfully</i>.] Nay.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Unwinding his muffler.</i>] Ye look as if ye had been in +spiritual struggle.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Drearily.</i>] I have.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. Well, indeed, Hughie, 'tis neither the angel nor the +archfiend here now, nor for me any struggle except the struggle to both +live an' eat well—ho! ho! <i>an'</i> eat well, I say<a name="page_285" id="page_285"></a>—in Bala. [<i>Laughs +jovially.</i>] Ho! ho! not bad, Hughie lad—live <i>an'</i> eat in Bala!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Patiently.</i>] With that muffler around your head, deacon, ye are +enough to frighten the devil out of Babylon.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Unwinding last lap of muffler.</i>] Yiss, yiss, Hughie +lad. But I dunno but ye will understand better if I call myself, let us +say the angel with the sickle—ho! ho!—not the angel of fire, Hughie, +but the angel with the sharp sickle gatherin' the clusters of the vines +of the earth. [<i>Sudden change of subject.</i>] Where is Neli?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Vacantly.</i>] I dunno—yiss, yiss, at market.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Chuckling.</i>] Dear, dear, at market—a fine day for +marketing! An' my essays on the Flamin' Wickedness of Babylon, Hughie +lad, how are they? Have ye finished them?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Nay, not yet.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Looking over counter, touching one article after +another as he mentions it.</i>] Pickled herrin'—grand but wet! +Pickles—dear me, yiss, Neli's—an' good! Butter from +Hafod-y-Porth—sweet as honey! [<i>He picks up a pat of butter and sniffs +it, drawing in his breath loudly. He smiles with delight and lays down +the butter. He takes off his hat and dusts it out inside. He puts his +hat back on his head, smiles, chuckles, picks up butter, taps it +thoughtfully with two fingers, smells it and puts down the pat +lingeringly. He lifts up a loaf of</i> <span class="smcap">Neli Williams's</span> <i>bread, glancing +from it to the butter</i>.] Bread! Dear me! [<i>His eyes glance on to +codfish.</i>] American codfish [<i>picks up package and smacks his lips +loudly</i>], dear <i>anwyl</i>, with potatoes—[<i>reads</i>] "Gloucester." [<i>Reaches +out and touches eggs affectionately.</i>] Eggs—are they fresh, Hugh?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Dreamily.</i>] I dunno. But I broke some of them. They might be!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Looks at floor.</i></p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. <i>Were</i> they fresh?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. I dunno.<a name="page_286" id="page_286"></a></p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Sharply.</i>] Dunno? About <i>eggs</i>?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Picks up egg.</i></p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Troubled.</i>] Neli's hens laid them.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. I see, Neli's hens laid 'em, an' you broke 'em! +Admirable arrangement! [<i>Putting down the egg and turning toward the +cheese, speaks on impatiently.</i>] Well, indeed then, were the hens fresh?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>More cheerful.</i>] Yiss, I think. Last week the basket was grand +an' full of fresh eggs, but they disappeared, aye, they did indeed.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Starts.</i>] Where did they go to?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Injured.</i>] How can I say? I was here, an' I would have told her +if I had seen, but I did not whatever. Neli reproves me for too great +attention to visions an' too little to the groceries.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Chuckling.</i>] Aye, Hughie lad, such is married life! +Let a man marry his thoughts or a wife, for he cannot have both. I have +chosen my thoughts.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. But the cat——</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Briskly.</i>] Aye, a man can keep a cat without risk.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Nay, nay, I mean the cat took 'em. I dunno. That's +it— [<span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>clutches his head, trying to recall something</i>.] Uch, +that's it! Neli told me to remember to ask ye if ye thought eggs could +steal a cat whatever.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Puzzled.</i>] Eggs steal a cat?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Troubled.</i>] Nay, nay, cats steal an egg?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Startled and looking suspiciously at</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>.] Cats? +What cats?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>With solemnity.</i>] Aye, but I told Neli I'm no carin' about cats +with heaven starin' me in the face. Deacon Roberts, those essays are +grand an' wonderful.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Relieved.</i>] Yiss, yiss! Hughie lad, theology is a +means to salvation an' sometimes to other ends, too. But there's no +money in theology. [<i>Sighs.</i>] And a man must<a name="page_287" id="page_287"></a> live! [<i>Points to corroded +dish of pickled herring, sniffing greedily.</i>] Dear people, what +beautiful herrin'! [<i>Wipes moisture away from corners of his mouth and +picks up a fish from dish, holding it, dripping, by tail.</i>] Pickled?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Looking at corroded dish.</i>] Tuppence.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Shortly.</i>] Dear to-day.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Eyeing dish dreamily.</i>] I dunno. Neli——</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Eyes glittering, cutting straight through sentence and +pointing to cheese.</i>] Cheese?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. A shillin', I'm thinkin'.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. A shillin', Hugh? [<span class="smcap">Deacon Roberts</span> <i>lifts knife and drops +it lightly on edge of cheese. The leaf it pares off he picks up and +thrusts into his mouth, greedily pushing in the crumbs. Then he pauses +and looks slyly at</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh.</span>] Was it sixpence ye said, Hugh?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Gazing toward the fire and the volume of essays.</i>] Yiss, +sixpence, I think.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] Still too dear, Hugh!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Sighing.</i>] I dunno, it might be dear. [<i>With more animation.</i>] +Deacon, when Babylon fell——</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Wipes his mouth and, interrupting</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>, <i>speaks +decisively</i>.] No cheese. [<i>He removes his tall Welsh beaver hat, mops +off his bald white head, and, pointing up to the shelves, begins to dust +out inside of hatband again, but with a deliberate air of preparation.</i>] +What is that up there, Hughie lad?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Trying to follow the direction of the big red wavering +forefinger.</i>] Ye mean that? A B C In-fants' Food, I think.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Giving his hat a final wipe.</i>] Nay, nay, not for me, +Hughie lad! Come, come, brush the smoke of burnin' Babylon from your +eyes! In a minute I must be goin' back to my study, whatever. An' I have +need of food!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>takes a chair and mounts it. The</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh's</span> +<i>back, puts his hand down on the counter, and picks up an egg from +the basket. He holds it to the light and squints through it to see +whether it is fresh. Then he<a name="page_288" id="page_288"></a> turns it lovingly over in his fat +palm, makes a dexterous backward motion and slides it into his +coat-tail pocket. This he follows with two more eggs for same +coat-tail and three for other—in all half a dozen.</i></p></div> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Dreamily pointing to tin.</i>] Is it Yankee corn?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>To Hugh's back, and slipping in second egg.</i>] Nay, +nay, not that, Hughie lad, that tin above!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Absent-mindedly touching tin.</i>] Is it ox tongue?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Slipping in third egg and not even looking up.</i>] Ox +tongue, lad? Nay, nuthin' so large as that.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Dreamily reaching up higher.</i>] American condensed m-m-milk? +Yiss, that's what it is.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Slipping in fourth egg.</i>] Condensed milk, Hughie? Back +to infants' food again.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Stretching up almost to his full length and holding down tin +with tips of long white finger.</i>] Kippert herrin'? Is it that?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Slipping in fifth egg.</i>] Nay, nay, a little further +up, if you please.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Gasping, but still reaching up and reading.</i>] Uto—U-to-pi-an +Tinned Sausage. Is it that?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Slipping in sixth egg with an air of finality and +triumph, and lifting his hat from the counter.</i>] Nay, nay, not that, +Hughie lad. Why do ye not begin by askin' me what I want? Ye've no gift +for sellin' groceries whatever.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Surprised.</i>] Did I not ask ye?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. Nay.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. What would Neli say whatever? She would never forgive me.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Amiably.</i>] Well, I forgive ye, Hughie lad. 'Tis a +relish I'm needin'!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Relieved.</i>] Well, indeed, a relish! We have relishes on that +shelf above, I think. [<i>Reaches up but pauses helplessly.</i>] I must tell +Neli that these shelves are not straight.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Dizzy and clinging to the shelves, his back to the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.</p></div> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Picking up a pound of butter wrapped in print paper.</i>] +Is it up there?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. No, I think, an' the shelves are not fast whatever. I must tell +Neli. They go up like wings. [<i>Trying to reach to a bottle just above +him.</i>] Was it English or American?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Putting the pound of butter in his hat and his hat on +his head.</i>] American, Hughie lad.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>At that instant there is a noise from the inner kitchen, and</i> +<span class="smcap">Neli Williams</span> <i>opens the door. The</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>turns, and their +glances meet and cross. Each understands perfectly what the other +has seen.</i> <span class="smcap">Neli Williams</span> <i>has thrown off her red cloak and taken +off her Welsh beaver hat. She is dressed in a short full skirt, +white stockings, clogs on her feet, a striped apron, tight bodice, +fichu, short sleeves, and white cap on dark hair.</i></p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Slowly.</i>] Uch! The deacon has what he came for whatever!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Turning to contradict his wife.</i>] Nay, Neli— [<i>Losing his +balance on chair, tumbles off, and, with arm flung out to save himself, +strikes dish of pickled herring. The herring and brine fly in every +direction, spraying the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Hughie</span>; <i>the bowl spins madly, +dipping and revolving on the floor. For a few seconds nothing is audible +except the bowl revolving on the flagstones and</i> <span class="smcap">Hughie</span> <i>picking himself +up and sneezing behind the counter</i>.] Achoo! Achoo! Dear me, +Neli—Achoo!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Going quickly to husband and beginning to wipe brine from +husband's forehead and cheeks; at the same time has her back to the</i> +<span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>and forming soundless letters with her lips, she jerks her head +toward the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.] B-U-T-T-E-R!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Drearily.</i>] Better? Aye, I'm better. It did not hurt me +whatever.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Jerking head backwards toward</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon Roberts</span> <i>and again forming +letters with lips</i>.] B-U-T-T-E-R!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. What, water? Nay, I don't want any water.<a name="page_290" id="page_290"></a></p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Coughing, ill at ease and glancing suspiciously at +bowl that has come to rest near his leg.</i>] Ahem! 'Tis cold here, Mrs. +Williams, mum, an' I must be movin' on.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Savagely to</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.] Stay where ye are whatever!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Unaccustomed to being spoken to this way by a woman.</i>] +Well, indeed, mum, I could stay, but I'm thinkin' 'tis cold an'—I'd +better go.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Again savagely.</i>] Nay, stay! Stay for—for what ye came for +whatever!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>looks challengingly at the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>. <i>Then she goes on wiping +brine carefully from husband's hair and from behind his ears. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>coughs and pushes bowl away with the toe of his boot</i>.</p></div> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Smiling.</i>] 'Tis unnecessary to remain then, mum.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>.] What did he get?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Sneezing.</i>] N—n—Achoo!—nothin'!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>With sudden interest, looking at the floor.</i>] Well, +indeed!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Suspiciously.</i>] What is it?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He reaches down with difficulty to a small thick puddle on the +floor just beneath his left coat-tail. He aims a red forefinger at +it, lifts himself, and sucks fingertip.</i></p></div> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Smiling.</i>] Ahem, Mrs. Williams, mum, 'tis excellent +herrin' brine! [<i>From the basket on the counter he picks up an egg, +which he tosses lightly and replaces in basket.</i>] A beautiful fresh egg, +Mrs. Williams, mum. I must be steppin' homewards.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Struggling to speak just as</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>reaches his nose, wringing it +vigorously at she wipes it</i>.] Aye, but Neli, I was just tellin' ye when +I fell that I could not find the deacon's relish—uch, achoo! achoo!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>With finality, tossing the egg in air,<a name="page_291" id="page_291"></a> catching it +and putting it back in basket.</i>] Well, indeed, mum, I must be steppin' +homewards now.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Neli's</span> <i>glance rests on fire burning on other side of room</i>. <i>She +puts down wet cloth. She turns squarely on the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.</p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. What is your haste, Mr. Roberts? Please to go to the fire an' +wait! I can find the relish.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Hastily.</i>] Nay, nay, mum. I have no need any +more—[<i>Coughs.</i>] Excellent herrin' brine.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Goes toward door.</i></p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>.] Take him to the fire, Hugh. 'Tis a cold day whatever! +[<i>Insinuatingly to</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.] Have ye a reason for wantin' to go, Mr. +Roberts?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Going.</i>] Nay, nay, mum, none at all! But, I must not +trouble ye. 'Tis too much to ask, an' I have no time to spare an'——</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Interrupting and not without acerbity.</i>] Indeed, Mr. Roberts, +sellin' what we <i>can</i> is our profit. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>, <i>who obediently takes</i> +<span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>by arm and pulls him toward fire</i>.] Take him to the fire, lad. +[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.] What kind of a relish was it, did ye say, Mr. Roberts?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Having a tug of war with</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>.] 'Tis an Indian +relish, mum, but I cannot wait.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Pulling harder.</i>] American, ye said.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Hastily.</i>] Yiss, yiss, American Indian relish, that +is.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Tut, 'tis our specialty, these American Indian relishes! We have +several. Sit down by the fire while I look them up. [<i>Wickedly.</i>] As ye +said. Mr. Roberts, 'tis cold here this morning.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. There, Hughie lad, I must not trouble ye. [<i>Looks at +clock.</i>] 'Tis ten minutes before twelve, an' my dinner will be ready at +twelve.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Pulls harder.</i></p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>.] Keep him by the fire, lad.<a name="page_292" id="page_292"></a></p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. There, Hughie lad, let me go!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>But</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>holds on, and the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon's</span> <i>coat begins to come off</i>.</p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] The relish—American Indian, ye said, I +think—will make your dinner taste fine and grand!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Finding that without leaving his coat behind he is +unable to go, he glowers at</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span> <i>and speaks sweetly to</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span>.] 'Tis a +beautiful clock, Mrs. Williams, mum. But I haven't five minutes to +spare.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Keeping a sharp lookout on the rim of the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon's</span> <i>hat</i>.] +Well, indeed, I can find the relish in just one minute. An' ye'll have +abundance of time left.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Trapped, and gazing at clock with fine air of +indifference.</i>] 'Tis a clever, shinin' lookin' clock whatever, Mrs. +Williams, mum.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Have ye any recollection of the name of the maker of the relish, +Mr. Roberts?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Putting his hands behind him anxiously and parting his +freighted coat-tails with care; then, revolving, presenting his back and +one large, well-set, bright-colored patch to the fire.</i>] Nay, I have +forgotten it, Mrs. Williams, mum.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Too bad, but I'm sure to find it. [<i>She mounts upon chair. At this +moment the shop door-bell rings violently, and there enters</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Jones +the Wash</span>, <i>very fat and very jolly. She is dressed in short skirt, very +full, clogs on her feet, a bodice made of striped Welsh flannel, a +shabby kerchief, a cap on her head, and over this a shawl.</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>turns +her head a little</i>.] Aye, Mrs. Jones the Wash, in a minute, if you +please. Sit down until I find Deacon Roberts's relish whatever.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Sits down on chair by door back centre and folds +her hands over her stomach.</i>] Yiss, yiss, mum, thank you. I've come for +soap. I came once before, but no one was in.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Too bad!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. An' I looked in at the window an'<a name="page_293" id="page_293"></a> saw nothin' but +a skippin' shadow looked like a rat. Have ye any rats, Mrs. Williams, +mum, do ye think?</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Have I any rats? Well, indeed, 'tis that I'm wantin' to know, Mrs. +Jones the Wash!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Well, I came back, for the water is eatin' the soap +to-day as if 'twere sweets—aye, 'tis a very meltin' day for soap! +[<i>Laughs.</i></p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. 'Tis sweet to be clean, Mrs. Jones the Wash.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Laughing.</i>] Yiss, yiss, Deacon Roberts, there has +many a chapel been built out of a washtub, an' many a prayer risen up +from the suds!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Solemnly.</i>] Aye, Mrs. Jones the Wash, 'tis holy work, +washin' is very holy work.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Touched.</i>] Yiss, yiss, I thank ye, Deacon +Roberts.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. Well, I must be steppin' homeward now.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Firmly.</i>] Nay, Mr. Roberts. I am searchin' on the shelf where I +think that American Indian relish is. Ye act as if ye had some cause to +hurry, Mr. Roberts. Wait a moment, if you please.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. Well, indeed, but I am keepin' Mrs. Jones the Wash +waitin'!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Jones</span>.] Ye are in no haste?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Thoroughly comfortable and happy.</i>] Nay, mum, no +haste at all. I am havin' a rest, an' 'tis grand an' warm here whatever.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Maliciously to</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.] Does it feel hot by the fire?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Experiencing novel sensations on the crown of his bald +head.</i>] Mrs. Williams, mum, 'tis hot in Y Gegin, but as with Llanycil +Churchyard, Y Gegin is only the portal to a hotter an' a bigger place +where scorchin' flames burn forever an' forever. Proverbs saith, "Hell +an' destruction are never full." What, then, shall be the fate of women +who have no wisdom, Mrs. Williams, mum?<a name="page_294" id="page_294"></a></p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Searching for relish.</i>] Aye, what? Well, indeed, the men must +know.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Nodding her head appreciatively at</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh</span>.] Such +eloquence, Mr. Williams! Aye, who in chapel has such grand theology as +Deacon Roberts!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She sighs. The bell rings violently again, and</i> <span class="smcap">Tom Morris the +Sheep</span> <i>enters. He is dressed in gaiters, a shepherd's cloak, etc., +etc. He carries a crook in his hand. He is a grizzle-haired, +rosy-faced old man, raw-boned, strong, and awkward, with a +half-earnest, half-foolish look.</i></p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Looking around.</i>] Aye, Tom Morris the Sheep, come in an' sit +down. I am lookin' out an American Indian relish for the deacon.</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Yiss, mum. I am wantin' to buy a little tobacco, +mum. 'Tis lonely upon the hillsides with the sheep, whatever.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Hastily.</i>] I must go now, Mrs. Williams, mum, an' ye +can wait on Tom Morris.</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Nay, nay, Mr. Roberts, sir, there is no haste.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Tom Morris</span>.] Sit down there by the door, if you please.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Tom Morris</span> <i>seats himself on other side of door by back centre</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Yiss, mum. [<i>Touches his forelock to</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Jones +the Wash</span>.] A grand day for the clothes, Mrs. Jones, mum.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Yiss, yiss, an' as I was just sayin' 'tis a meltin' +day for the soap!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Significantly.</i>] An' perhaps 'tis a meltin' day for somethin' +besides soap!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>She looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Earnestly.</i>] Yiss, yiss, for souls, meltin' for souls, I am +hopin'. [<i>Picking up the book from the little three-legged table, and +speaking to the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>.] They are enlargin' the burial ground in +Llanycil Churchyard—achoo! achoo!<a name="page_295" id="page_295"></a></p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Slyly moving a step away from fire.</i>] They're only +enlargin' hell, Hughie lad, an' in that place they always make room for +all. [<i>He casts a stabbing look at</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span>.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Nodding head.</i>] True, true, room for all! +[<i>Chuckling.</i>] But 'twould be a grand place to dry the clothes in!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Severely.</i>] Mrs. Jones, mum, hell is paved with words +of lightness.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Looking up from book, his face expressing delight.</i>] Deacon +Roberts, I have searched for the place of hell, but one book sayeth one +thing, an' another another. Where is hell?</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Aye, where is hell?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The bell rings violently. All start except</i> <span class="smcap">Neli. Mrs. Jenkins +the Midwife</span> <i>enters. She is an old woman, white-haired, and with a +commanding, somewhat disagreeable expression on her face. She wears +a cloak and black Welsh beaver and walks with a stick.</i></p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Yiss, yiss, Mrs. Jenkins the Midwife, I am just lookin' out a +relish for the Deacon. Sit down by the fire, please.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. [<i>Seating herself on other side of fire.</i>] +Aye, mum, I've come for pins; I'm in no haste.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. is it Jane Elin's baby?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. Aye, Jane Elin's, an' 'tis my sixth hundredth +birth.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. We're discussing the place of hell, Mrs. Jenkins, mum.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. Well, indeed, I have seen the place of hell +six hundred times then. [<i>Coughs and nods her head up and down over +stick.</i>] Heaven an' hell I'm thinkin' we have with us here.</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Nay, nay, how could that be? Tell us where is the place of hell, +Deacon Roberts.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All listen with the most intense interest.</i></p></div> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Nodding.</i>] Aye, the place of hell—[<i>stopping +suddenly, a terrified look on his face, as the butter slides<a name="page_296" id="page_296"></a> against +the forward rim of his hat, almost knocking it off, then going on with +neck rigid and head straight up</i>] to me is known where is that +place—their way is dark an' slippery; they go down into the depths, an' +their soul is melted because of trouble.</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Pausing sceptically.</i>] Aye, 'tis my idea of hell whatever with +souls meltin', Mr. Roberts!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Tense with expectation.</i>] Tell us where is that place!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Neck rigid, head unmoved, and voice querulous.</i>] Yiss, +yiss. [<i>Putting his hand up and letting it down quickly.</i>] Ahem! Ye +believe that it rains in Bala?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Eyes on</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span>, <i>in childlike faith</i>.] I do.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. Yiss, yiss, before an' after every birth +whatever!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Yiss, yiss, who would know better than I that it +rains in Bala?</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Aye, amen, it rains in Bala upon the hills an' in +the valleys.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. Ye believe that it can rain in Bala both when the moon +is full an' when 'tis new?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Earnestly.</i>] I do.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Wearily.</i>] Yiss, any time.</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Aye, all the time.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>.. Yiss, yiss, it rains ever an' forever!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Forgetting the relish search.</i>] Well, indeed, 'tis true it can +rain in Bala at any time an' at all times.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Paying no attention to Neli.</i>] Ye believe that +Tomen-y-Bala is Ararat?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Clutching his book more tightly and speaking in a whisper.</i>] +Yiss.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Aye, 'tis true.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>.. Yiss, the Hill of Bala is Ararat.</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Yiss, I have driven the sheep over it whatever +more than a hundred times.<a name="page_297" id="page_297"></a></p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Both hands on counter, leaning forward, listening to</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon's</span> +<i>words</i>.] Aye, Charles-y-Bala said so.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Still ignoring</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>and lowering his coat-tails +carefully</i>.] Ye believe, good people, that the Druids called Noah +"Tegid," an' that those who were saved were cast up on Tomen-y-Bala?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Amen, I do!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. [<i>Nodding her old head.</i>] Aye, 'tis true.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Yiss, yiss.</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Amen, 'tis so.</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Moving a few steps away from the fire, standing +sidewise, and lifting hand to head, checking it in midair.</i>] An' ye know +that Bala has been a lake, an' Bala will become a lake?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. Amen, I do!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Assenting for the first time.</i>] Yiss, 'tis true—that is.</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Dear anwyl, yiss!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>With warning gesture toward window.</i>] Hell is out +there—movin' beneath Bala Lake to meet all at their comin'. [<i>Raises +his voice suddenly.</i>] Red-hot Baal stones will fall upon your +heads—Baal stones. Howl ye! [<i>Shouting loudly.</i>] Meltin' stones +smellin' of the bullocks. Howl, ye sinners! [<i>Clasping his hands +together desperately.</i>] Scorchin' hot—Oo—o—o—Howl ye!—howl ye! +[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon's</span> <i>hat sways, and he jams it down more tightly on his +head. Unclasping his hands and as if stirring up the contents of a +pudding-dish.</i>] 'Round an' round like this! Howl, ye sinners, howl!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All moan and sway to and fro except</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span>.</p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Sceptically.</i>] What is there to fear?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. [<i>Groaning.</i>] Nay, but what is there not to +fear?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Aye, outermost darkness. Och! Och!</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Have mercy!<a name="page_298" id="page_298"></a></p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Shouting again.</i>] Get ready! Lift up your eyes! +[<i>Welsh beaver almost falls off and is set straight in a twinkling.</i>] +Beg for mercy before the stones of darkness burn thee, an' there is no +water to cool thy tongue, an' a great gulf is fixed between thee an' +those who might help thee!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Spellbound by the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon's</span> <i>eloquence and now oblivious to hat, +etc.</i>] Yiss, yiss, 'tis true, 'tis very true!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She steps down from chair and places hands on counter.</i></p></div> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>His face convulsed, shouting directly at her.</i>] +Sister, hast thou two eyes to be cast into hell fire?</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Terrified and swept along by his eloquence.</i>] Two eyes to be +burned?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All lower their heads, groaning and rocking to and fro.</i></p></div> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>The butter trickling down his face, yelling with +sudden violence.</i>] Hell is here an' now. Here in Bala, here in Y Gegin, +here with us! Howl ye! Howl, ye sinners!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All moan together.</i></p></div> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Whispering.</i>] Uch, here!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. Yiss, here!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. Yiss.</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. [<i>Terrified.</i>] Aye. Amen! Yiss!</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Whispering.</i>] Here in Y Gegin!</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Clapping his hands to his face.</i>] Stones of Baal, +stones of darkness, slimy with ooze, red-hot ooze, thick vapors! Howl +ye, howl, ye sinners! [<i>All moan and groan. Takes a glance at clock, +passes hand over face and runs on madly, neck rigid, eyes staring, fat +red cheeks turning to purple.</i>] Midday, not midnight, is the hour of +hell; its sun never sets! But who knows when comes that hour of hell?</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>Taking hands from counter and crossing them as she whispers.</i>] +Who knows?</p> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. [<i>Groaning.</i>] Who knows?</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Voice quavering and lifting his Welsh essays.</i>] Who knows?</p> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Big yellow drops pouring down his face,<a name="page_299" id="page_299"></a> his voice +full of anguish.</i>] I will tell ye when is the hour of hell. [<i>He points +to the clock.</i>] Is one the hour of hell? Nay. Two? Nay. Three? No, not +three. Four? Four might be the hour of hell, but 'tis not. Five? Nor +five, indeed. Six? Nay. Seven? Is seven the hour, the awful hour? Nay, +not yet. Eight? Is eight the hour—an hour bright as this bright hour? +Nay, eight is not. [<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>shouts in a mighty voice and points +with a red finger at the clock</i>.] 'Tis comin'! 'Tis comin', I say! Howl +ye, howl! Only one minute more! Sinners, sinners, lift up your eyes! Cry +for mercy! [<i>All groan.</i>] Cry for mercy! When the clock strikes twelve, +'twill be the hour of hell! Fix your eyes upon the clock! Watch! Count! +Listen! 'Tis strikin'. The stroke! The hour is here!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All dropped on their knees and turned toward the clock, their +backs to the street door, are awaiting the awful stroke. The book +has fallen from</i> <span class="smcap">Hugh's</span> <i>hands</i>. <span class="smcap">Neli's</span> <i>hands are clenched</i>. <span class="smcap">Mrs. +Jenkins the Midwife</span> <i>is nodding her old head</i>. <span class="smcap">Mrs. Jones the Wash</span> +<i>on her knees, her face upturned to the clock, is rubbing up and +down her thighs, as if at the business of washing</i>. <span class="smcap">Tom Morris The +Sheep</span> <i>is prostrate and making a strange buzzing sound between his +lips. The wheels of the clever old timepiece whir and turn. Then in +the silent noonday the harsh striking begins: One, Two, Three, +Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve.</i></p></div> + +<p>D<small>EACON</small> R<small>OBERTS</small>. [<i>Yelling suddenly in a loud and terrible voice.</i>] Hell +let loose! Howl ye! Howl, ye sinners! [<i>All cover their eyes. All groan +or moan. The clock ticks, the flame in the grate flutters</i>, <span class="smcap">Neli's</span> +<i>bosom rises and falls heavily</i>.] Lest worse happen to ye, sin no more!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>looks at them all quietly. Then he lifts his hands +in sign of blessing, smiles and vanishes silently through street +door. All remain stationary in their terror. Nothing happens. But +at last</i> <span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>fearfully, still spellbound by the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon's</span> +<i>eloquence, lifts her eyes to<a name="page_300" id="page_300"></a> the clock. Then cautiously she turns +a little toward the fire and the place of</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon Roberts</span>.</p></div> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Uch! [<i>She stands on her feet and cries out.</i>] The Deacon is gone!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Raising his eyes.</i>] Uch, what is it? Babylon——</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. Babylon nothing! [<i>She wrings her hands.</i></p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. [<i>Groaning.</i>] Is he dead? Is he dead?</p> + +<p>N<small>ELI</small>. [<i>With sudden plunge toward the door.</i>] Uch, ye old hypocrite, ye +villain! Uch, my butter an' my eggs, my butter an' my eggs!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Neli</span> <i>throws open the door and slams it to after her as she +pursues the</i> <span class="smcap">Deacon</span> <i>out into the bright midday sunshine</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. Well, indeed, what is it? Has she been taken?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Getting up heavily.</i>] Such movin' eloquence! A +saintly man is Deacon Roberts!</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Aye, a saintly man is Deacon Roberts!</p> + +<p>H<small>UGH</small>. [<i>Picking up his book and speaking slowly.</i>] Aye, eloquence that +knoweth the place of hell even better than it knoweth Bala whatever!</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ENKINS THE</small> M<small>IDWIFE</small>. [<i>Very businesslike.</i>] Aye, 'twas a treat—a +rare treat! But where's my pins now?</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. J<small>ONES THE</small> W<small>ASH</small>. [<i>Very businesslike.</i>] Yiss, yiss, 'twas a grand +an' fine treat. But I'm wantin' my soap now.</p> + +<p>T<small>OM</small> M<small>ORRIS THE</small> S<small>HEEP</small>. Have ye any tobacco, Hughie lad?</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="r"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_301" id="page_301"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +WHERE BUT IN AMERICA<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +OSCAR M. WOLFF</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>Where But In America</i> is reprinted by special permission of the author +and of the <i>Smart Set Magazine</i>, in which this play was first printed. +For permission to perform address the author at Room 1211, 105 Monroe +Street, Chicago, Illinois.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_302" id="page_302"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_303" id="page_303"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="OSCAR_M_WOLFF" id="OSCAR_M_WOLFF"></a>OSCAR M. WOLFF</p> + +<p>Oscar M. Wolff was born July 13, 1876. After graduation from Cornell +University he completed his law course in the University of Chicago. In +addition to his interest in law, which he has practised and taught, he +has done considerable writing and editing. He has published a legal +text-book, and his articles on legal subjects have appeared both in law +journals and in magazines of general interest. During the war he was +connected with the United States Food Administration at Washington. At +present he lives in Chicago, Illinois.</p> + +<p>In addition to some stories, he has written several one-act plays: +<i>Where But in America</i>, <i>The Claim for Exemption</i>, and <i>The +Money-Lenders</i>.</p> + +<p><i>Where But in America</i> is an excellent play of situation, as well as a +delicate satire on a certain aspect of American social life.<a name="page_304" id="page_304"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">CAST</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Espenhayne</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mr. Espenhayne</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Hilda</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_305" id="page_305"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="WHERE_BUT_IN_AMERICAJ" id="WHERE_BUT_IN_AMERICAJ"></a>WHERE BUT IN AMERICA<a name="FNanchor_J_10" id="FNanchor_J_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_J_10" class="fnanchor"> +<span style="font-size:50%;">[J]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>The Espenhayne dining-room.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The curtain rises on the Espenhayne dining-room. It is furnished +with modest taste and refinement. There is a door, centre, leading +to the living-room, and a swinging door, left, leading to the +kitchen.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The table is set, and</i> <span class="smcap">Robert</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie Espenhayne</span> <i>are +discovered at their evening meal. They are educated, well-bred +young Americans.</i> <span class="smcap">Robert</span> <i>is a pleasing, energetic business man of +thirty</i>; <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>an attractive woman of twenty-five. The bouillon +cups are before them as the curtain rises.</i></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Mollie, I heard from the man who owns that house in Kenilworth. He +wants to sell the house. He won't rent.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. I really don't care, Bob. That house was too far from the +station, and it had only one sleeping-porch, and you know I want +white-enamelled woodwork in the bedrooms. But, Bob, I've been terribly +stupid!</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. How so, Mollie?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. You remember the Russells moved to Highland Park last spring?</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Yes; Ed Russell rented a house that had just been built.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. A perfectly darling little house! And Fanny Russell once told me +that the man who built it will put up a house for any one who will take +a five-year lease. And she says that<a name="page_306" id="page_306"></a> the man is very competent and they +are simply delighted with their place.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Why don't we get in touch with the man?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Wasn't it stupid of me not to think about it? It just flashed +into my mind this morning, and I sat down at once and sent a +special-delivery letter to Fanny Russell. I asked her to tell me his +name at once, and where we can find him.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Good! You ought to have an answer by to-morrow or Thursday and +we'll go up north and have a talk with him on Saturday.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>With enthusiasm.</i>] Wouldn't it be wonderful if he'd build just +what we want! Fanny Russell says every detail of their house is perfect. +Even the garage; they use it——</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Interrupting.</i>] Mollie, that's the one thing I'm afraid of about +the North Shore plan. I've said repeatedly that I don't want to buy a +car for another year or two. But here you are, talking about a garage +already.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. But you didn't let me finish what I was saying. The Russells +have fitted up their garage as a playroom for the children. If we had a +garage we could do the same thing.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Well, let's keep temptation behind us and not even talk to the man +about a garage. If we move up north it must be on an economy basis for a +few years; just a half-way step between the apartment and the house we +used to plan. You mustn't get your heart set on a car.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. I haven't even thought of one, dear. [<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>have now +both finished the bouillon course and lay down their spoons. Reaching +out her hand to touch the table button, and at the same time leaning +across the table and speaking very impressively.</i>] Bob, I'm about to +ring for Hilda!</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. What of it?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Decidedly and with a touch of impatience.</i>] You know very +well, what of it. I don't want Hilda to hear us say one word about +moving away from the South Side!<a name="page_307" id="page_307"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Protesting.</i>] But Mollie——</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Interrupting hurriedly and holding her finger to her lips in +warning.</i>] Psst!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The next instant</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>enters, left. She is a tall, blonde +Swedish girl, about twenty-five years old. She is very pretty and +carries herself well and looks particularly charming in a maid's +dress, with white collars and cuffs and a dainty waitress's apron. +Every detail of her dress is immaculate.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Speaking the instant that</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>appears and talking very +rapidly all the time that</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>remains in the room. While she speaks</i> +<span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>watches</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>rather than</i> <span class="smcap">Robert</span>, <i>whom she pretends to be +addressing</i>.] In the last game Gert Jones was my partner. It was frame +apiece and I dealt and I bid one no trump. I had a very weak no trump. +I'll admit that, but I didn't want them to win the rubber. Mrs. Stone +bid two spades and Gert Jones doubled her. Mrs. Green passed and I +simply couldn't go to three of anything. Mrs. Stone played two spades, +doubled, and she made them. Of course, that put them out and gave them +the rubber. I think that was a very foolish double of Gert Jones, and +then she said it was my fault, because I bid one no trump.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>As</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>begins her flow of words</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>first looks at her in +open-mouthed astonishment. Then as he gradually comprehends that</i> +<span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>is merely talking against time he too turns his eyes to</i> +<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>and watches her closely in her movements around the table. +Meanwhile</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>moves quietly and quickly and pays no attention +to anything except the work she has in hand. She carries a small +serving-tray, and, as</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>speaks</i>, <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>first takes the +bouillon cups from the table, then brings the carving-knife and +fork from the sideboard and places them before</i> <span class="smcap">Robert</span>, <i>and then, +with the empty bouillon cups, exits left</i>. <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>are +both watching</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>as<a name="page_308" id="page_308"></a> she goes out. The instant the door swings +shut behind her</i>, <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>relaxes with a sigh, and</i> <span class="smcap">Robert</span> <i>leans +across the table to speak</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Mollie, why not be sensible about this thing! Have a talk with +Hilda and find out if she will move north with us.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. That's just like a man! Then we might not find a house to please +us and Hilda would be dissatisfied and suspicious. She might even leave. +[<i>Thoughtfully.</i>] Of course, I must speak to her before we sign a lease, +because I really don't know what I'd do if Hilda refused to leave the +South side. [<i>More cheerfully.</i>] But there, we won't think about the +disagreeable things until everything is settled.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. That's good American doctrine.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Warningly and again touching her finger to her lips.</i>] Psst!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>enters, left, carrying the meat plates, with a heavy napkin +under them</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Immediately resuming her monologue.</i>] I think my last year's +hat will do very nicely. You know it rained all last summer and I really +only wore the hat a half a dozen times. Perhaps not that often. I can +make a few changes on it; put on some new ribbons, you know, and it will +do very nicely for another year. You remember that hat, don't you dear?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>starts to answer, but</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>rushes right on</i>.</p></div> + +<p>Of course you do, you remember you said it was so becoming. That's +another reason why I want to wear it this summer.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hilda</span>, <i>meanwhile, puts the plates on the table in front of</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span>, +<i>and goes out, left</i>. <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>at once stops speaking</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Holding his hands over the plates as over a fire and rubbing them +together in genial warmth.</i>] Ah, the good hot plates! She never forgets +them. She <i>is</i> a gem, Mollie.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>In great self-satisfaction.</i>] If you are finally convinced of +that, after three years, I wish you would be a little bit<a name="page_309" id="page_309"></a> more careful +what you say the next time Hilda comes in the room.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>In open-mouthed astonishment.</i>] What!</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Well, I don't want Hilda to think we are making plans behind her +back.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Reflectively.</i>] "A man's home is his castle." [<i>Pauses.</i>] It's +very evident that the Englishman who first said that didn't keep any +servants.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Telephone bell rings off stage.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Answer that, Bob.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Won't Hilda answer it?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Standing up quickly and speaking impatiently.</i>] Very well, I +shall answer it myself. I can't ask Hilda to run to the telephone while +she is serving the meal.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Sullenly, as he gets up.</i>] All right! All right!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>exits, centre. As he does so</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>appears at the door, +left, hurrying to answer the telephone</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Mr. Espenhayne will answer it, Hilda.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>makes the slightest possible bow of acquiescence, withdraws +left, and in a moment reappears with vegetable dishes and small +side dishes, which she puts before</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. Espenhayne</span>. <i>She is +arranging these when</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>re-enters, centre</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Somebody for you, Hilda.</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. [<i>Surprised.</i>] For me? Oh! But I cannot answer eet now. Please +ask the party to call later.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>speaks excellent English, but with some Swedish accent. The +noticeable feature of her speech is the precision and great care +with which she enunciates every syllable.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Just take the number yourself, Hilda, and tell the party you +will call back after dinner.</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Thank you, Messes Aispenhayne.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>exits, centre</i>. <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>stands watching</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span>, <i>as she<a name="page_310" id="page_310"></a> +leaves the room, and then turns and looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>with a +bewildered expression</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Standing at his chair.</i>] But I thought Hilda couldn't be running +to the telephone while she serves the dinner?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. But this call is for Hilda, herself. That's quite different, you +see.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Slowly and thoughtfully.</i>] Oh, yes! Of course; I see! [<i>Sits down +in his chair.</i>] That is—I don't quite see!</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Immediately leaning across the table and speaking in a +cautious whisper.</i>] Do you know who it is?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>closes his lips very tightly and nods yes in a very important +manner</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>In the same whisper and very impatiently.</i>] Who?</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Looking around the room as if to see if any one is in hiding, and +then putting his hand to his mouth and exaggerating the whisper.</i>] The +Terrible Swede.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>In her ordinary tone and very much exasperated.</i>] Robert, I've +told you a hundred times that you shouldn't refer to—to—the man in +that way.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. And I've told you a hundred times to ask Hilda his name. If I knew +his name I'd announce him with as much ceremony as if he were the +Swedish Ambassador.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Disgusted.</i>] Oh, don't try to be funny! Suppose some day Hilda +hears you speak of him in that manner?</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. You know that's mild compared to what you think of him. Suppose +some day Hilda learns what you think of him?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. I think very well of him and you know it. Of course, I dread the +time when she marries him, but I wouldn't for the world have her think +that we speak disrespectfully of her or her friends.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. "A man's home is his castle."</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mollie's</span> <i>only answer is a gesture of impatience</i>. <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>sit back in their chairs to await</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda's</span> <i>return. Both sit +with fingers interlaced, hands resting on the edge<a name="page_311" id="page_311"></a> of the table in +the attitude of school children at attention. A long pause.</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> +<i>unclasps her hands and shifts uneasily</i>. <span class="smcap">Robert</span> <i>does the same</i>. +<span class="smcap">Mollie</span>, <i>seeing this, hastily resumes her former attitude of quiet +waiting</i>. <span class="smcap">Robert</span>, <i>however, grows increasingly restless. His +restlessness makes</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>nervous and she watches</i> <span class="smcap">Robert</span>, <i>and +when he is not observing her she darts quick, anxious glances at +the door, centre</i>. <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>drains and refills his glass</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>She has been watching</i> <span class="smcap">Robert</span> <i>and every time he shifts or +moves she unconsciously does the same, and finally she breaks out +nervously</i>.] I don't understand this at all! Isn't to-day Tuesday?</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. What of it?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. He usually calls up on Wednesdays and comes to see her on +Saturdays.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. And takes her to the theatre on Thursdays and to dances on Sundays. +He's merely extending his line of attack.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Another long pause—then Bob begins to experiment to learn +whether the plates are still hot. He gingerly touches the edges of +the upper plate in two or three places. It seems safe to handle. He +takes hold of upper and lower plates boldly, muttering, as he does +so, "Cold as—" Drops the plates with a clatter and a smothered +oath. Shakes his fingers and blows on them. Meanwhile</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>is +sitting very rigid, regarding</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>with a fixed stare and beating +a vigorous tattoo on the tablecloth with her fingers. Bob catches +her eye and cringes under her gaze. He drains and refills his +glass. He studies the walls and the ceiling of the room, meanwhile +still nursing his fingers.</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>steals a sidelong glance at</i> +<span class="smcap">Mollie.</span> <i>She is still staring at him. He turns to his water goblet. +Picks it up and holds it to the light. He rolls the stem between +his fingers, squinting at the light through the water. Reciting +slowly as he continues to gaze at the light.</i></p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Starlight! Starbright! Will Hilda talk to him all night!</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>In utter disgust.</i>] Oh, stop that singing.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>puts down his glass, then drinks the water and refills the +glass. He then turns his attention to the silverware and cutlery +before him. He examines it critically, then lays a teaspoon +carefully on the cloth before him, and attempts the trick of +picking it up with the first finger in the bowl and the thumb at +the point of the handle. After one or two attempts the spoon shoots +on the floor, far behind him.</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>jumps at the noise</i>. <span class="smcap">Bob</span> +<i>turns slowly and looks at the spoon with an injured air, then +turns back to</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>with a silly, vacuous smile. He now lays all +the remaining cutlery in a straight row before him.</i></p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Slowly counting the cutlery and silver, back and forth.</i>] Eeny, +meeny, miney, mo. Catch a—[<i>Stops suddenly as an idea comes to him. +Gazes thoughtfully at</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>for a moment, then begins to count over +again</i>.] Eeny, meeny, miney, mo; Hilda's talking to her beau. If we +holler, she may go. Eeny, mee——</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Interrupting and exasperated to the verge of tears.</i>] Bob, if +you don't stop all that nonsense, I shall scream! [<i>In a very tense +tone.</i>] I believe I'm going to have one of my sick headaches! [<i>Puts her +hand to her forehead.</i>] I know it; I can feel it coming on!</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>In a soothing tone.</i>] Hunger, my dear, hunger! When you have a +good warm meal you'll feel better.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>In despair.</i>] What do you suppose I ought to do?</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Go out in the kitchen and fry a couple of eggs.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Oh! be serious! I'm at my wits' end! Hilda never did anything +like this before.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Suddenly quite serious.</i>] What does that fellow do for a living, +anyhow?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. How should I know?<a name="page_313" id="page_313"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Didn't you ever ask Hilda?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Certainly not. Hilda doesn't ask me about your business; why +should I pry into her affairs?</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Taking out his cigarette case and lighting a cigarette.</i>] Mollie, +I see you're strong for the Constitution of the United States.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Suspiciously.</i>] What do you mean by that?</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. The Constitution says: "Whereas it is a self-evident truth that all +men are born equal"—[<i>With a wave of the hand.</i>] Hilda and you, and the +Terrible Swede and I and——</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Interrupting.</i>] Bob, you're such a <i>heathen</i>! <i>That's not in +the Constitution.</i> That's in the Bible!</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Well, wherever it is, until this evening I never realized what a +personage Hilda is.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. You can make fun of me all you please, but I know what's right! +Your remarks don't influence me in the least—not in the least!</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Murmurs thoughtfully and feelingly.</i>] How true! [<i>Abruptly.</i>] Why +don't they get married? Do you know that?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. All I know is that they are waiting until his business is +entirely successful, so that Hilda won't have to work.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Well, the Swedes are pretty careful of their money. The chances are +Hilda has a neat little nest-egg laid by.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Hesitating and doubtfully.</i>] That's one thing that worries me +a little. I think Hilda puts money—into—into—into the young man's +business.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Indignantly.</i>] Do you mean to tell me that this girl gives her +money to that fellow and you don't try to find out a thing about him? +Who he is or what he does? I suppose she supports the loafer.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>With dignity.</i>] He's not a loafer. I've seen him and I've +talked with him, and I know he's a gentleman.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Mollie, I'm getting tired of all that kind of drivel. I<a name="page_314" id="page_314"></a> believe +nowadays women give a good deal more thought to pleasing their maids +than they do to pleasing their husbands.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Demurely.</i>] Well, you know, Bob, your maid can leave you much +easier than your husband can—[<i>pauses thoughtfully</i>] and I'm sure she's +much harder to replace.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Very angry, looking at his watch, throwing his napkin on the +table and standing up.</i>] Mollie, our dinner has been interrupted for +fifteen minutes while Hilda entertains her [<i>with sarcasm</i>] gentleman +friend. If you won't stop it, I will.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Steps toward the door, centre.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Sternly, pointing to</i> <span class="smcap">Bob's</span> <i>chair</i>.] Robert, sit down!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>pauses, momentarily, and at the instant</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>enters, +centre, meeting</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span>, <i>face to face. Both are startled.</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span>, <i>in a +surly manner, walks back to his place at the table</i>. <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> +<i>follows, excited and eager</i>. <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>sits down and</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>stands for +a moment at the table, smiling from one to the other and evidently +anxious to say something</i>. <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>are severe and +unfriendly. They gaze at</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>coldly. Slowly</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda's</span> +<i>enthusiasm cools, and she becomes again the impassive servant</i>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Aixcuse me, Meeses Aispenhayne, I am very sorry. I bring the +dinner right in.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Hilda exits left.</i></p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. It's all nonsense. [<i>Touches the plates again, but this time even +more cautiously than before. This time he finds they are entirely safe +to handle.</i>] These plates are stone cold now.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>enters, left, with meat platter. Places it before</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span>. <i>He +serves the meat and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>starts to serve the vegetables</i>. <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> +<i>hands</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>her meat plate</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Vegetables? [<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>is chewing on his meat and does not answer</i>. +<span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>looks at him inquiringly. But his eyes are on his plate. +Repeating.</i>] Vegetables? [<i>Still no answer from</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span>. <i>Very softly, +under her breath.</i>] H'mm.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>helps herself to vegetables and then dishes out a<a name="page_315" id="page_315"></a> portion +which she hands to</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span>, <i>who in turn places the dish beside</i> +<span class="smcap">Bob</span>. <i>When both are served</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>stands for a moment back of the +table. She clasps and unclasps her hands in a nervous manner, seems +about to speak, but as</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>pay no attention to her +she slowly and reluctantly turns, and exits left</i>. <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>takes +one or two bites of the meat and then gives a quick glance at</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span>. +<i>He is busy chewing at his meat, and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>quietly lays down her +knife and fork and turns to the vegetables</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Chewing desperately on his meat.</i>] Tenderloin, I believe?</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Sweetly.</i>] Yes, dear.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Imitating</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>a moment back</i>.] H'mm! [<i>He takes one or two +more hard bites.</i>] Mollie, I have an idea.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. I'm relieved.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Savagely.</i>] Yes, you will be when you hear it. When we get that +builder's name from Fanny Russell, we'll tell him that instead of a +garage, which we don't need, he can build a special telephone booth off +the kitchen. Then while Hilda serves the dinner——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>stops short, as</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>bursts in abruptly, left, and comes +to the table</i>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Aixcuse me, Meeses Aispenhayne, I am so excited.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Anxiously.</i>] Is anything wrong, Hilda?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. [<i>Explosively.</i>] Meeses Aispenhayne, Meester Leendquist he say +you want to move to Highland Park.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>simultaneously drop their knives and forks and +look at</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>in astonishment and wonder</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. What?</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Who?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. [<i>Repeats very rapidly.</i>] Meester Leendquist, he say you look for +house on North Shore!</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Utterly overcome at</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda's</span> <i>knowledge and at a loss<a name="page_316" id="page_316"></a> for +words of denial</i>.] We move to the North Shore? How ridiculous! Hilda, +where did you get such an idea? [<i>Turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Robert</span>.] Robert, did you +ever hear anything so laughable? [<i>She forces a strained laugh.</i>] Ha! +Ha! Ha! [<span class="smcap">Robert</span> <i>has been looking at</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>in dumb wonder. At</i> +<span class="smcap">Mollie's</span> <i>question he turns to her in startled surprise. He starts to +answer, gulps, swallows hard, and then coughs violently. Very sharply, +after waiting a moment for</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>to answer</i>.] Robert Espenhayne, will +you stop that coughing and answer me!</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Between coughs, and drinking a glass of water.</i>] Egh! Egh! Excuse +me! Something, eh! egh! stuck in my throat.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Turning to</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span>.] Some day we might want to move north, +Hilda, but not now! Oh, no, not now!</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Who told you that, Hilda?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Meester Leendquist.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Puzzled.</i>] Who is Mr. Lindquist?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. [<i>Surprised.</i>] Meester Leendquist—[<i>Pauses, a trifle +embarrassed.</i>] Meester Leendquist ees young man who just speak to me on +telephone. He come to see me every Saturday.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. Oh, Mr. Lindquist, the—the—Ter——</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Interrupting frantically, and waving her hands at</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span>.] Yes, +yes, of course. You know—Mr. Lindquist! [<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>catches himself just in +time and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>settles back with a sigh of relief, then turns to</i> +<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>with a puzzled air</i>.] But where did Mr. Lindquist get such an +idea?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Mrs. Russell tell heem so.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>Now entirely bewildered.</i>] What Mrs. Russell?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Meeses Russell—your friend.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>More and more at sea.</i>] Mrs. Edwin Russell, who comes to see +me—every now and then?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Yes.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. But how does Mrs. Russell know Mr. Lindquist and why should she +tell Mr. Lindquist that we expected to move to the North Shore?<a name="page_317" id="page_317"></a></p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Meester Leendquist, he build Meeses Russell's house. That ees +hees business. He build houses on North Shore and he sell them and rent +them.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>look at each other and at</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span>, <i>in wonder and +astonishment as the situation slowly filters into their brains. A +long pause.</i>]</p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>In awe and astonishment.</i>] You mean that Mr. Lindquist, the young +man who comes to see you every—every—every now and then—is the same +man who put up the Russell house?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Yes, Meester Aispenhayne.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Slowly.</i>] And when Mrs. Espenhayne [<i>points to</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span>] wrote to +Mrs. Russell [<i>jerks his thumb to indicate the north</i>], Mrs. Russell +told Mr. Lindquist [<i>jerks his thumb in opposite direction</i>] and Mr. +Lindquist telephoned to you?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Points to</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span>.</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Yes, Meester Aispenhayne.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Nodding.</i></p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Very thoughtfully and slowly.</i>] H'mm! [<i>Then slowly resuming his +meal and speaking in mock seriousness, in subtle jest at</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span>, <i>and +imitating her tone of a moment or two back</i>.] But of course, you +understand, Hilda, we don't want to move to the North Shore now! Oh, no, +not now!</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. [<i>Somewhat crestfallen.</i>] Yes, Meester Aispenhayne.</p> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Reflectively.</i>] But, of course, if Mr. Lindquist builds houses, +we might look. Yes, we might look.</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. [<i>In growing confidence and enthusiasm.</i>] Yes, Meester +Aispenhayne, and he build such beautiful houses and so cheap. He do so +much heemself. Hees father was carpenter and he work hees way through +Uneeversity of Mennesota and study architecture and then he go to +Uneeversity of Eelenois and study landscape gardening and now he been in +business for heemself sex years. And oh, Meeses Aispenhayne, you must +see hees own home! You will love eet, eet ees so beautiful. A little +house, far back from the road. You can hardly see eet for the<a name="page_318" id="page_318"></a> trees and +the shrubs, and een the summer the roses grow all around eet. Eet is +just like the picture book!</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. [<i>In the most perfunctory tone, utterly without interest or +enthusiasm.</i>] How charming! [<i>Pauses thoughtfully, then turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Hilda</span>, +<i>anxiously</i>.] Then I suppose, Hilda, if we should decide to move up to +the North Shore you would go with us?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. [<i>Hesitatingly.</i>] Yes, Meeses Aispenhayne. [<i>Pauses.</i>] But I +theenk I must tell you thees spring Meester Leendquist and I aixpect to +get married. Meester Leendquist's business ees very good. [<i>With a quick +smile and a glance from one to the other.</i>] You know, I am partner with +heem. I put all my money een Meester Leendquist's business too.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>gaze at each other in complete resignation and +surrender</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>OB</small>. [<i>Quite seriously after a long pause.</i>] Hilda, I don't know whether +we will move north or not, but the next time Mr. Lindquist comes here I +want you to introduce me to him. I'd like to know him. You ought to be +very proud of a man like that.</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. [<i>Radiant with pleasure.</i>] Thank you, Meester Aispenhayne.</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. Yes, indeed, Hilda, Mr. Espenhayne has often said what a fine +young man Mr. Lindquist seems to be. We want to meet him, and Mr. +Espenhayne and I will talk about the house, and then we will speak to +Mr. Lindquist. [<i>Then weakly.</i>] Of course, we didn't expect to move +north for a long time, but, of course, if you expect to get married, and +Mr. Lindquist builds houses——</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Her voice dies out. Long pause.</i></p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Thank you, Meeses Aispenhayne, I tell Mr. Leendquist.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>stands at the table a moment longer, then slowly turns and +moves toward door, left</i>. <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span> <i>watch her and as she +moves away from the table</i> <span class="smcap">Bob</span> <i>turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Mollie</span>. <i>At this moment</i> +<span class="smcap">Hilda</span> <i>stops, turns suddenly and returns to the table</i>.</p></div> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Oh, Meeses Aispenhayne, I forget one theeng!</p> + +<p>M<small>OLLIE</small>. What now, Hilda?</p> + +<p>H<small>ILDA</small>. Meester Leendquist say eef you and Meester Aispenhayne want to +look at property on North Shore, I shall let heem know and he meet you +at station weeth hees automobile.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="r"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_320" id="page_320"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_321" id="page_321"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2><a name="A_DOLLAR" id="A_DOLLAR"></a>A DOLLAR<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +DAVID PINSKI</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>A Dollar</i> is reprinted by special permission of David Pinski and of B. +W. Huebach, New York City, the publisher of David Pinski's <i>Ten Plays</i>, +from which this play is taken. All rights reserved. For permission to +perform address the publisher.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_322" id="page_322"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_323" id="page_323"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="DAVID_PINSKI" id="DAVID_PINSKI"></a>DAVID PINSKI</p> + +<p>David Pinski, perhaps the most notable dramatist of the Yiddish Theatre, +was born of Jewish parentage April 5, 1872, in Mohilev, on the Dnieper, +White Russia. Because his parents had rabbinical aspirations for him he +was well educated in Hebrew studies (Bible and Talmud) by his fourteenth +year, when he moved to Moscow, where he was further trained in classical +and secular studies. In 1891 he planned to study medicine in Vienna, but +soon returned to Warsaw, where he began his literary work as a +short-story writer. In 1896 he took up the study of philosophy and +literature, and in 1899 wrote his first plays. In 1899 he came to New +York City, where he is now editor of the Jewish daily, <i>Die Zeit</i>. In +1911 he revisited Germany to see a production of his well-known comedy, +<i>The Treasure</i>, by Max Reinhart.</p> + +<p>Mr. Pinski is zealous in his interests in literature, drama, socialism, +and Zionism. Drama is to him an interpretation of life, and a guide and +leader, as were the words of the old poets and prophets. "The dramatic +technique," says he, "changes with each plot, as each plot brings with +it its own technique. One thing, however, must be common to all the +different forms of the dramatic technique—avoidance of tediousness."</p> + +<p>Mr. Pinski has written a goodly number of plays, most of which are on +Yiddish themes. <i>Forgotten Souls</i>, <i>The Stranger</i>, <i>Sufferings</i>, <i>The +Treasure</i>, <i>The Phonograph</i>, and <i>A Dollar</i> may be mentioned. Most of +his plays have been produced many times; <i>The Stranger</i> played the third +season in Moscow.</p> + +<p>"I wrote <i>A Dollar</i>," says he, "in the summer of 1913, when I was hard +pressed financially. I relieved myself of my feelings by a hearty laugh +at the almighty dollar and the race for it. Just as I did many summers +before, in 1906, when I entertained myself by ridiculing the mad money +joy in the bigger comedy, <i>The Treasure</i>."<a name="page_324" id="page_324"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">PERSONS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="center">The Characters are given in the order of their appearance.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Comedian</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Villain</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Tragedian</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Actor</span> <i>who plays</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>" <i>rôle</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Heroine</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Ingenue</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Actress</span> <i>who plays</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>" <i>rôle</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Stranger</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_325" id="page_325"></a></p> + +<h2>A DOLLAR</h2> + +<p class="hang"><i>A cross-roads at the edge of a forest. One road extends from left +to right; the other crosses the first diagonally, disappearing into +the forest. The roadside is bordered with grass. On the right, at +the crossing, stands a sign-post, to which are nailed two boards, +giving directions and distances.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The afternoon of a summer day. A troupe of stranded strolling +players enters from the left. They are ragged and weary. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>walks first, holding a valise in each hand, followed by +the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span> <i>carrying over his arms two huge bundles wrapped in +bed-sheets. Immediately behind these the</i> <span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>and the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old +Man</span>" <i>carrying together a large, heavy trunk</i>.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Stepping toward the sign-post, reading the directions on the +boards, and explaining to the approaching fellow-actors.</i>] That way +[<i>pointing to right and swinging the valise to indicate the direction</i>] +is thirty miles. This way [<i>pointing to left</i>] is forty-five—and that +way it is thirty-six. Now choose for yourself the town that you'll never +reach to-day. The nearest way for us is back to where we came from, +whence we were escorted with the most splendid catcalls that ever +crowned our histrionic successes.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. [<i>Exhausted.</i>] Who will lend me a hand to wipe off my +perspiration? It has a nasty way of streaming into my mouth.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Stand on your head, then, and let your perspiration water a +more fruitful soil.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Oh!<a name="page_326" id="page_326"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He drops his arms, the bundles fall down. He then sinks down onto +one of them and wipes off the perspiration, moving his hand wearily +over his face. The</i> <span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>and the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>" <i>approach the +post and read the signs</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>In a deep, dramatic voice.</i>] It's hopeless! It's hopeless!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>He lets go his end of the trunk.</i></p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" [<i>Lets go his end of the trunk.</i>] Mm. Another stop.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>sits himself down on the trunk in a tragico-heroic +pose, knees wide apart, right elbow on right knee, left hand on +left leg, head slightly bent toward the right</i>. <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>puts down +the valises and rolls a cigarette</i>. The "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>" <i>also sits down +upon the trunk, head sunk upon his breast</i>.</p></div> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Thirty miles to the nearest town! Thirty miles!</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. It's an outrage how far people move their towns away from us.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. We won't strike a town until the day after to-morrow.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Hurrah! That's luck for you! There's yet a day-after-to-morrow +for us.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. And the old women are still far behind us. Crawling!</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" They want the vote and they can't even walk.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. We won't give them votes, that's settled. Down with votes for +women!</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. It seems the devil himself can't take you! Neither your tongue +nor your feet ever get tired. You get on my nerves. Sit down and shut up +for a moment.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. <i>Me?</i> Ha—ha! I'm going back there to the lady of my heart. +I'll meet her and fetch her hither in my arms.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He spits on his hands, turns up his sleeves, and strides rapidly +off toward the left.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Clown!<a name="page_327" id="page_327"></a></p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" How can he laugh and play his pranks even now? We haven't a +cent to our souls, our supply of food is running low and our shoes are +dilapidated.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>With an outburst.</i>] Stop it! No reckoning! The number of +our sins is great and the tale of our misfortunes is even greater. Holy +Father! Our flasks are empty; I'd give what is left of our soles +[<i>displaying his ragged shoes</i>] for just a smell of whiskey.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>From the left is heard the laughter of a woman. Enter the</i> +<span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>carrying in his arms the</i> <span class="smcap">Heroine</span>, <i>who has her hands +around his neck and holds a satchel in both hands behind his back</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Letting his burden down upon the grass.</i>] Sit down, my love, +and rest up. We go no further to-day. Your feet, your tender little feet +must ache you. How unhappy that makes me! At the first opportunity I +shall buy you an automobile.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. And in the meantime you may carry me oftener.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. The beast of burden hears and obeys.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter the</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>and the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>," <i>each carrying a small +satchel</i>.</p></div> + +<p>I<small>NGENUE</small>. [<i>Weary and pouting.</i>] Ah! No one carried <i>me</i>.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She sits on the grass to the right of the</i> <span class="smcap">Heroine</span>.</p></div> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. We have only one ass with us.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>stretches himself out at the feet of the</i> <span class="smcap">Heroine</span> <i>and +emits the bray of a donkey</i>. "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>" <i>sits down on the grass to +the left of the</i> <span class="smcap">Heroine</span>.</p></div> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Woman.</span>" And are we to pass the night here?</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" No, we shall stop at "Hotel Neverwas."</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Don't you like our night's lodgings? [<i>Turning over toward +the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>."] See, the bed is broad and wide, and certainly without +vermin. Just feel the high grass. Such a soft bed you never slept in. +And you shall have a cover embroidered with the moon and stars, a cover +such as no royal bride ever possessed.<a name="page_328" id="page_328"></a></p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Woman.</span>" You're laughing, and I feel like crying.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Crying? You should be ashamed of the sun which favors you with +its setting splendor. Look, and be inspired!</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Yes, look and expire.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Look, and shout with ecstasy!</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" Look, and burst!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>starts sobbing</i>. <span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>laughs heavily</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Turning over to the</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span>.] What! You are crying? Aren't +you ashamed of yourself?</p> + +<p>I<small>NGENUE</small>. I'm sad.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Woman.</span>" [<i>Sniffling.</i>] I can't stand it any longer.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. Stop it! Or I'll start bawling, too.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>springs to his knees and looks quickly from one woman to +the other</i>.</p></div> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Ha—ha! Cheer them up, clown!</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Jumps up abruptly without the aid of his hands.</i>] Ladies and +gentlemen, I have it! [<i>In a measured and singing voice.</i>] Ladies and +gentlemen, I have it!</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. What have you?</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Cheerfulness.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Go bury yourself, clown.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>As before.</i>] Ho-ho-ho!</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" P-o-o-h!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The women weep all the louder.</i></p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. I have—a bottle of whiskey!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>General commotion. The women stop crying and look up to the</i> +<span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>in amazement; the</i> <span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>straightens himself out and +casts a surprised look at the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span>; the "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>," <i>rubbing +his hands, jumps to his feet; the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span> <i>looks suspiciously at +the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. A bottle of whiskey?</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" He-he-he—A bottle of whiskey.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Hum—whiskey.<a name="page_329" id="page_329"></a></p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. You bet! A bottle of whiskey, hidden and preserved for such +moments as this, a moment of masculine depression and feminine tears.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Taking the flask from his hip pocket. The expression on the faces +of all changes from hope to disappointment.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. You call that a bottle. I call it a flask.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>Explosively.</i>] A thimble!</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" A dropper!</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Woman.</span>" For seven of us! Oh!</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Letting the flash sparkle in the sun.</i>] But it's whiskey, my +children. [<i>Opening the flask and smelling it.</i>] U—u—u—m! That's +whiskey for you. The saloonkeeper from whom I hooked it will become a +teetotaler from sheer despair.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>rising heavily and slowly proceeding toward the flask</i>. +<span class="smcap">Villain</span> <i>still skeptical and rising as if unwilling. The</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>" +<i>chuckling and rubbing his hands. The</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>" <i>getting up +indifferently and moving apathetically toward the flask. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Heroine</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>hold each other by the hand and take ballet +steps in waltz time. All approach the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>with necks eagerly +stretched out and smell the flask, which the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>holds +firmly in both hands</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. Ho—ho—ho—Fine!</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" He—he—Small quantity, but excellent quality!</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Seems to be good whiskey.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. [<i>Dancing and singing.</i>] My comedian, my comedian. His head is +in the right place. But why didn't you nab a larger bottle?</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. My beloved one, I had to take in consideration both the +quality of the whiskey and the size of my pocket.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Woman.</span>" If only there's enough of it to go round.</p> + +<p>I<small>NGENUE</small>. Oh, I'm feeling sad again.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Cheer up, there will be enough for us all. Cheer up. Here, +smell it again.<a name="page_330" id="page_330"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They smell again and cheerfulness reappears. They join hands and +dance and sing, forming a circle, the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>applauding</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Good! If you are so cheered after a mere smell of it, what +won't you feel like after a drink. Wait, I'll join you. [<i>He hides the +whiskey flask in his pocket.</i>] I'll show you a new roundel which we will +perform in our next presentation of Hamlet, to the great edification of +our esteemed audience. [<i>Kicking the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain's</span> <i>bundles out of the +way</i>.] The place is clear, now for dance and play. Join hands and form a +circle, but you, Villain, stay on the outside of it. You are to try to +get in and we dance and are not to let you in, without getting out of +step. Understand? Now then!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The circle is formed in the following order</i>—<span class="smcap">Comedian</span>, <span class="smcap">Heroine</span>, +<span class="smcap">Tragedian</span>, "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>," "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>," <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span>.</p></div> + +<p class="hangg"><span class="smcap">Comedian.</span> [<i>Singing.</i>]</p> +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">To be or not to be, that is the question.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 1em;">That is the question, that is the question.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">He who would enter in,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Climb he must over us,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">If over he cannot,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 1em;">He must get under us.</span><br /</td></tr> +</table> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="center">REFRAIN</td></tr> + +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> Over us, under us.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> Under us, over us.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Now we are jolly, jolly are we.</td></tr> +</table> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>sings the refrain alone at first and the others +repeat it together with him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>.</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">To be or not to be, that is the question,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 1em;">That is the question, that is the question.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">In life to win success,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Elbow your way through,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">Jostle the next one,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 1em;">Else <i>you</i> will be jostled.</span></td></tr> +</table> + + +<p class="c">REFRAIN</p> + +<p class="c">[<i>Same as before.</i>]</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>On the last word of the refrain they flop as if dumbfounded, and +stand transfixed, with eyes directed on one spot inside of the +ring. The</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span> <i>leans over the arms of the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>and the</i> +<span class="smcap">Heroine</span>; <i>gradually the circle draws closer till their heads almost +touch. They attempt to free their handy but each holds on to the +other and all seven whisper in great astonishment.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. A dollar!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The circle opens up again, they look each at the other and shout +in wonder.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. A dollar!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Once more they close in and the struggle to free their hands +grows wilder; the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span> <i>tries to climb over and then under the +hands into the circle and stretches out his hand toward the dollar, +but instinctively he is stopped by the couple he tries to pass +between, even when he is not seen but only felt. Again all lean +their heads over the dollar, quite lost in the contemplation of it, +and whispering, enraptured.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. A dollar!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Separating once again they look at each other with exultation and +at the same time try to free their hands, once more exclaiming in +ecstasy.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. A dollar!<a name="page_332" id="page_332"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Then the struggle to get free grows wilder and wilder. The hand +that is perchance freed is quickly grasped again by the one who +held it.</i></p></div> + +<p>I<small>NGENUE</small>. [<i>In pain.</i>] Oh, my hands, my hands! You'll break them. Let go +of my hands!</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Woman.</span>" If you don't let go of my hands I'll bite.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Attempting to bite the hands of the</i> <span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>and the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old +Man</span>," <i>while they try to prevent it</i>.</p></div> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" [<i>Trying to free his hands from the hold of the</i> <span class="smcap">Heroine</span> <i>and +the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>."] Let go of me. [<i>Pulling at both his hands.</i>] These +women's hands that—seem so frail, just look at them now.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span>.] But you let go my hands.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. I think it's you who are holding fast to mine.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. Why should I be holding you? If you pick up the dollar, what is +yours is mine, you know.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Then let go of my hand and I'll pick it up.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. No, I'd rather pick it up myself.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. I expected something like that from you.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. [<i>Angrily.</i>] Let go of my hands, that's all.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Ha-ha-ha—It's a huge joke. [<i>In a tone of command.</i>] Be +quiet. [<i>They become still.</i>] We must contemplate the dollar with +religious reverence. [<i>Commotion.</i>] Keep quiet, I say! A dollar is +spread out before us. A real dollar in the midst of our circle, and +everything within us draws us toward it, draws us on irresistibly. Be +quiet! Remember you are before the Ruler, before the Almighty. On your +knees before him and pray. On your knees.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sinks down on his knees and drags with him the</i> <span class="smcap">Heroine</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smcap">Ingenue</span>. "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>" <i>dropping on his knees and dragging the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old +Woman</span>" <i>with him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" He-he-he!</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. Ho-ho-ho, clown!</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Tragedian</span>.] You are not worthy of the<a name="page_333" id="page_333"></a> serious mask you +wear. You don't appreciate true Divine Majesty. On your knees, or you'll +get no whiskey. [<span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>sinks heavily on his knees</i>.] O holy dollar, +O almighty ruler of the universe, before thee we kneel in the dust and +send toward thee our most tearful and heartfelt prayers. Our hands are +bound, but our hearts strive toward thee and our souls yearn for thee. O +great king of kings, thou who bringest together those who are separated, +and separatest those who are near, thou who——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>, <i>who is standing aside, takes a full jump, clears +the</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>and grasps the dollar. All let go of one another and +fall upon him, shouting, screaming, pushing, and fighting. Finally +the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span> <i>manages to free himself, holding the dollar in his +right fist. The others follow him with clenched fists, glaring +eyes, and foaming mouths, wildly shouting.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. The dollar! The dollar! The dollar! Return the dollar!</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. [<i>Retreating.</i>] You can't take it away from me; it's mine. It +was lying under my bundle.</p> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. Give up the dollar! Give up the dollar!</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. [<i>In great rage.</i>] No, no. [<i>A moment during which the opposing +sides look at each other in hatred. Quietly but with malice.</i>] Moreover, +whom should I give it to? To you—you—you—you?</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Ha-ha-ha-ha! He is right, the dollar is his. He has it, +therefore it is his. Ha-ha-ha-ha, and I wanted to crawl on my knees +toward the dollar and pick it up with my teeth. Ha-ha-ha-ha, but he got +ahead of me. Ha-ha-ha-ha.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. [<i>Whispering in rage.</i>] That's because you would not let go of +me.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Ha-ha-ha-ha!</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>Shaking his fist in the face of the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>.] Heaven and +hell, I feel like crushing you!<a name="page_334" id="page_334"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He steps aside toward the trunk and sits down in his former +pose.</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span>, <i>lying down on the grass, starts to cry</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Ha-ha-ha! Now we will drink, and the first drink is the +Villain's.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>His proposition is accepted in gloom; the</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span>, <i>however, +stops crying; the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>" <i>and the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>" <i>have been +standing by the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span> <i>looking at the dollar in his hand as if +waiting for the proper moment to snatch it from, him. Finally the</i> +"<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>" <i>makes a contemptuous gesture and both turn aside from +the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>. <i>The latter, left in peace, smooths out the dollar, +with a serious expression on his face. The</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>hands him a +small glass of whiskey</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Drink, lucky one.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>, <i>shutting the dollar in his fist, takes the whiskey +glass gravely and quickly drinks the contents, returning the glass. +He then starts to smooth and caress the dollar again. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Comedian</span>, <i>still laughing, passes the whiskey glass from one to the +other of the company, who drink sullenly. The whiskey fails to +cheer them. After drinking, the</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>begins to sob again. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Heroine</span>, <i>who is served last, throws the empty whiskey glass toward +the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Good shot. Now I'll drink up all that's left in the bottle.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He puts the flask to his lips and drinks. The</i> <span class="smcap">Heroine</span> <i>tries to +knock it away from him, but he skilfully evades her. The</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span> +<i>continues to smooth and caress the dollar</i>.</p></div> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Ha-ha-ha!...</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Singing and dancing.</i></p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left">He who would enter in,</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> <i>Jump</i> he must over us.</td></tr> +</table> + +<p>Ho-ho-ho! O Holy Dollar! O Almighty Ruler of the World!... O King of +Kings! Ha-ha-ha!... Don't you<a name="page_335" id="page_335"></a> all think if I have the dollar and you +have it not that I partake a bit of its majesty? That means that I am +now a part of its majesty. That means that I am the Almighty Dollar's +plenipotentiary, and therefore I am the Almighty Ruler himself. On your +knees before me!... He-he-he!...</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>After throwing away the empty flask, lies down on the +grass.</i>] Well roared, lion, but you forgot to hide your jack-ass's ears.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. It is one's consciousness of power. He-he-he. I know and you +know that if I have the money I have the say. Remember, none of you has +a cent to his name. The whiskey is gone.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Picking up the flask and +examining it.</i></p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. I did my job well. Drank it to the last drop.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Yes, to the last drop. This evening you shall have bread and +sausage. Very small portions, too, for to-morrow is another day. +[<span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>sobbing more frequently</i>.] Not till the day after to-morrow +shall we reach town, and that doesn't mean that you get anything to eat +there, either, but I—I—I—he-he-he. O Holy Dollar, Almighty Dollar! +[<i>Gravely.</i>] He who does my bidding shall not be without food.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>With wide-open eyes.</i>] What? Ha-ha-ha!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>gets up and throws herself on the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain's</span> <i>bosom</i>.</p></div> + +<p>I<small>NGENUE</small>. Oh, my dear beloved one.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Ha-ha, my power already makes itself felt.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. [<i>Pushing the</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>away</i>.] Let go of him, you. He sought +my love for a long time and now he shall have it.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. What? You!</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span>.] I hate you, traitor. [<i>To the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>.] I +have always loved—genius. You are now the wisest of the wise. I adore +you.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. [<i>Holding</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>in one arm</i>.] Come into my other arm.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Heroine</span>, <i>throwing herself into his arms, kissing and embracing +him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Half rising on his knees.</i>] Stop, I protest. [<i>Throwing +himself on the grass.</i>] "O frailty, thy name is woman."</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Woman.</span>" [<i>Approaching the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span> <i>from behind and embracing +him</i>.] Find a little spot on your bosom for me. I play the "Old Woman," +but you know I'm not really old.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Now I have all of power and all of love.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Don't call it love. Call it servility.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. [<i>Freeing himself from the women.</i>] But now I have something +more important to carry out. My vassals—I mean you all—I have decided +we will not stay here over night. We will proceed further.</p> + +<p>W<small>OMEN</small>. How so?</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. We go forward to-night.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. You have so decided?</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. I have so decided, and that in itself should be enough for you; +but due to an old habit I shall explain to you why I have so decided.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Keep your explanation to yourself and better not disturb my +contemplation of the sunset.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. I'll put you down on the blacklist. It will go ill with you for +your speeches against me. Now, then, <i>without</i> an explanation, we will +go—and at once. [<i>Nobody stirs.</i>] Very well, then, I go alone.</p> + +<p>W<small>OMEN</small>. No, no.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. What do you mean?</p> + +<p>I<small>NGENUE</small>. I go with you.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. And I.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Woman.</span>" And I.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Your loyalty gratifies me very much.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" [<i>Who is sitting apathetically upon the trunk.</i>] What the +deuce is urging you to go?</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. I wanted to explain to you, but now no more. I owe you no +explanations. I have decided—I wish to go, and that is sufficient.<a name="page_337" id="page_337"></a></p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. He plays his comedy wonderfully. Would you ever have suspected +that there was so much wit in his cabbage head?</p> + +<p>W<small>OMEN</small>. [<i>Making love to the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>.] Oh, you darling.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>Majestically.</i>] I wouldn't give him even a single glance.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Still another on the blacklist. I'll tell you this much—I have +decided——</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Ha-ha-ha! How long will you keep this up?</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. We start at once, but if I am to pay for your food I will not +carry any baggage. You shall divide my bundles among you and of course +those who are on the blacklist will get the heaviest share. You heard +me. Now move on. I'm going now. We will proceed to the nearest town, +which is thirty miles away. Now, then, I am off.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Bon voyage.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. And with me fares His Majesty the Dollar and your meals for +to-morrow.</p> + +<p>W<small>OMEN</small>. We are coming, we are coming.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" I'll go along.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>To the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>.] You're a scoundrel and a mean fellow.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. I am no fellow of yours. I am master and bread-giver.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. I'll crush you in a moment.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. What? You threaten me! Let's go.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Turns to right. The women take their satchels and follow him.</i></p></div> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" [<i>To the</i> <span class="smcap">Tragedian</span>.] Get up and take the trunk. We will +settle the score with him some other time. It is he who has the dollar +now.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>Rising and shaking his fist.</i>] I'll get him yet.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>He takes his side of the trunk.</i></p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Tragedian</span>.] First put one of my bundles on your back.<a name="page_338" id="page_338"></a></p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>In rage.</i>] One of your bundles on my back?</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Oh, for all I care you can put it on your head, or between your +teeth.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" We will put the bundle on the trunk.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Sitting up.</i>] Look here, are you joking or are you in +earnest?</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. [<i>Contemptuously.</i>] I never joke.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Then you are in earnest?</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. I'll make no explanations.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Do you really think that because you have the dollar——</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. The holy dollar, the almighty dollar, the king of kings.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Continuing.</i>] That therefore you are the master——</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Bread-giver and provider.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. And that we must——</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Do what I bid you to.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. So you are in earnest?</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. You must get up, take the baggage and follow me.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Rising.</i>] Then I declare a revolution.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. What? A revolution!</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. A bloody one, if need be.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>Dropping his end of the trunk and advancing with a +bellicose attitude toward the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>.] And I shall be the first to let +your blood, you scoundrel.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. If that's the case I have nothing to say to you. Those who +wish, come along.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Getting in his way.</i>] No, you shall not go until you give up +the dollar.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Ha-ha. It is to laugh!</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. The dollar, please, or——</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. He-he-he!</p> + +<p><a name="page_339" id="page_339"></a><span class="smcap">Comedian.</span> Then let there be blood. [<i>Turns up his sleeves.</i></p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. [<i>Taking off his coat.</i>] Ah! Blood, blood!</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" [<i>Dropping his end of the trunk.</i>] I'm not going to keep out +of a fight.</p> + +<p>W<small>OMEN</small>. [<i>Dropping his satchels.</i>] Nor we. Nor we.</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. [<i>Shouting.</i>] To whom shall I give up the dollar? +You—you—you—you?</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. This argument will not work any more. You are to give the +dollar up to all of us. At the first opportunity we'll get change and +divide it into equal parts.</p> + +<p>W<small>OMEN</small>. Hurrah, hurrah! Divide it, divide it!</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>.] And I will even be so good as to give you a +share.</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. I'd rather give him a sound thrashing.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. It shall be as I say. Give up the dollar.</p> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. [<i>Throwing herself on the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian's</span> <i>breast</i>.] My comedian! +My comedian!</p> + +<p>I<small>NGENUE</small>. [<i>To the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>.] I'm sick of you. Give up the dollar.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Pushing the</i> <span class="smcap">Heroine</span> <i>aside</i>.] You better step aside or else +you may get the punch I aim at the master and bread-giver. [<i>To the</i> +<span class="smcap">Villain</span>.] Come up with the dollar!</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. Give up the dollar to him, do you hear?</p> + +<p>A<small>LL</small>. The dollar, the dollar!</p> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. I'll tear it to pieces.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. Then we shall tear out what little hair you have left on your +head. The dollar, quick!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They surround the</i> <span class="smcap">Villain</span>; <i>the women pull his hair; the</i> +<span class="smcap">Tragedian</span> <i>grabs him by the collar and shakes him; the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>" +<i>strikes him on his bald pate; the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>struggles with him +and finally grasps the dollar</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Holding up the dollar.</i>] I have it!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The women dance and sing.</i></p></div> + +<p>V<small>ILLAIN</small>. Bandits! Thieves!</p> + +<p>T<small>RAGEDIAN</small>. Silence, or I'll shut your mouth.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Goes back to the trunk and assumes his heroic pose.</i></p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Putting the dollar into his pocket.</i>] That's what I call a +successful and a bloodless revolution, except for a little fright and +heart palpitation on the part of the late master and bread-giver. +Listen, some one is coming. Perhaps he'll be able to change the dollar +and then we can divide it at once.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" I am puzzled how we can change it into equal parts.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Starts to calculate with the</i> <span class="smcap">Ingenue</span> <i>and the</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Woman</span>."</p></div> + +<p>H<small>EROINE</small>. [<i>Tenderly attentive to the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span>.] You are angry with me, +but I was only playing with him so as to wheedle the dollar out of him.</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. And now you want to trick me out of my share of it.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Old Man.</span>" It is impossible to divide it into equal parts. It is +absolutely impossible. If it were ninety-eight cents or one hundred and +five cents or——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Stranger</span> <i>enters from the right, perceives the company, +greets it, and continues his way to left</i>. <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>stops him</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. I beg your pardon, sir; perhaps you have change of a dollar in +dimes, nickels, and pennies.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Showing the dollar. The</i> "<span class="smcap">Old Man</span>" <i>and women step forward</i>.</p></div> + +<p>S<small>TRANGER</small>. [<i>Getting slightly nervous, starts somewhat, makes a quick +movement for his pistol-pocket, looks at the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian</span> <i>and the others +and says slowly</i>.] Change of a dollar? [<i>Moving from the circle to +left.</i>] I believe I have.</p> + +<p>W<small>OMEN</small>. Hurrah!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRANGER</small>. [<i>Turns so that no one is behind him and pulls his revolver.</i>] +Hands up!</p> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>In a gentle tone of voice.</i>] My dear sir, we are altogether +peaceful folk.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRANGER</small>. [<i>Takes the dollar from the</i> <span class="smcap">Comedian's</span> <i>hand and<a name="page_341" id="page_341"></a> walks +backwards to left with the pistol pointed at the group</i>.] Good-night, +everybody.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He disappears, the actors remain dumb with fear, with their hands +up, mouths wide open, and staring into space.</i></p></div> + +<p>C<small>OMEDIAN</small>. [<i>Finally breaks out into thunderous laughter.</i>] +Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c">CURTAIN</p> + +<p><a name="page_342" id="page_342"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_343" id="page_343"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +THE DIABOLICAL CIRCLE<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +BEULAH BORNSTEAD</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>The Diabolical Circle</i> is reprinted by special permission of Professor +Franz Rickaby, in whose course in dramatic composition (English 36) in +the University of North Dakota this play was written. For permission to +perform, address Professor Franz Rickaby, University of North Dakota, +University, North Dakota.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_344" id="page_344"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_345" id="page_345"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="BEULAH_BORNSTEAD" id="BEULAH_BORNSTEAD"></a>BEULAH BORNSTEAD</p> + +<p>Beulah Bornstead, one of the promising young playwrights of the +Northwest, was born in Grand Forks, North Dakota, May 5, 1896. She has +had her academic training at the University of North Dakota, from which +she received her B.A. in 1921. At present Miss Bornstead is principal of +the Cavalier High School, North Dakota. Before attempting drama she +tried her hand at journalism and at short-story writing.</p> + +<p>Miss Bornstead was introduced into playwriting by Professor Franz +Rickaby, in whose course in dramatic composition at the University of +North Dakota <i>The Diabolical Circle</i> was written. In speaking of this +play Miss Bornstead writes: "<i>The Diabolical Circle</i> is the first play I +have ever written. I never enjoyed doing anything so much in my life. +The characters were so real to me that if I had bumped into one going +round the corner I should not have been surprised in the least. <span class="smcap">Betty</span> +and <span class="smcap">Charles</span> and <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> and even <span class="smcap">Cotton Mather</span> himself worked that play +out. All the humble author did was to set it down on paper." <i>The +Diabolical Circle</i> was produced May 5, 1921, by the Dakota Playmakers in +their Little Theatre at the University of North Dakota.</p> + +<p><i>The Diabolical Circle</i> is one of the best contemporary plays dealing +with American historical material. Its characterization is one of its +noteworthy elements.<a name="page_346" id="page_346"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Cotton Mather</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Betty</span>, <i>his daughter</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Adonijah Wigglesworth</span>, <i>a suitor, and</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton's</span> <i>choice</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Charles Manning</span>, <i>likewise a suitor, but</i> <span class="smcap">Betty's</span> <i>choice</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Clock</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_347" id="page_347"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="THE_DIABOLICAL_CIRCLE" id="THE_DIABOLICAL_CIRCLE"></a>THE DIABOLICAL CIRCLE</h2> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>The living-room in the Mather home in Boston.</i></p> + +<p class="hang">TIME: <i>About 1700, an evening in early autumn.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The stage represents the living-room of the Mather home. A large +colonial fireplace is seen down-stage left, within which stand huge +brass andirons. To one side hangs the bellows, with the tongs near +by, while above, underneath the mantelpiece, is suspended an old +flint-lock rifle. On both ends of the mantel are brass +candlesticks, and hanging directly above is an old-fashioned +portrait of Betty's mother. There are two doors, one leading into +the hall at centre left, the other, communicating with the rest of +the house, up-stage right. A straight high-backed settee is +down-stage right, while in the centre back towers an old +grandfather's clock.<a name="FNanchor_K_11" id="FNanchor_K_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_K_11" class="fnanchor">[K]</a> To the left of the clock is the window, +cross-barred and draped with flowered chintz. An old-fashioned +table occupies the corner between the window and the hall door. +Here and there are various straight-backed chairs of Dutch origin. +Rag rugs cover the floor.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>As the curtain rises</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton Mather</span> <i>is seated in a large armchair +by the fire, with</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>on a stool at his feet, with her +knitting</i>.</p> + +<p class="hang"><span class="smcap">Cotton</span>, <i>his hair already touched with the whitening frost of many +a severe New England winter, is grave and sedate. Very much +exercised with the perils of this life, and serenely contemplative +of the life to come, he takes himself and the world about him very +seriously.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Not so with</i> <span class="smcap">Mistress Betty</span>. <i>Outwardly demure, yet inwardly<a name="page_348" id="page_348"></a> +rebellious against the straitened conventions of the times, she +dimples over with roguish merriment upon the slightest +provocation.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>As we first see them</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>is giving</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>some timely +advice</i>.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. But you must understand that marriage, my daughter, is a most +reverend and serious matter which should be approached in a manner +fittingly considerate of its grave responsibility.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Thoughtfully.</i>] Truly reverend and most serious, father +[<i>looking up roguishly</i>], but I like not so much of the grave about it.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Continuing.</i>] I fear thou lookest upon the matter too lightly. +It is not seemly to treat such a momentous occasion thus flippantly.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Protesting.</i>] Nay, father, why consider it at all? Marriage is +yet a great way off. Mayhap I shall never leave thee.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Thou little thinkest that I may be suddenly called on to leave +<i>thee</i>. The Good Word cautions us to boast not ourselves of the morrow, +for we know not what a day may bring forth.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Dropping her knitting.</i>] Father, thou art not feeling well. +Perhaps——</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Nay, child, be not alarmed. 'Tis but a most necessary lesson to +be learned and laid up in the heart. I will not always be with thee and +I would like to be comfortably assured of thy future welfare before I +go.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Picking her knitting up.</i>] Be comfortably assured, then, I +prithee; I have no fears.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Bringing his arm down forcibly on the arm of the chair.</i>] Aye! +There it is. Thou hast no fears. Would that thou had'st some! [<i>Looks up +at the portrait.</i>] Had thy prudent and virtuous mother only lived to +point the way, I might be<a name="page_349" id="page_349"></a> spared this anxiety; but, beset by diverse +difficulties in establishing the kingdom of God in this country, and +sorely harassed by many hardships and by evil men, I fear me I have not +propounded to thee much that I ought.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. In what then is mine education lacking? Have I not all that is +fitting and proper for a maiden to know?</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Perplexed.</i>] I know not. I have done my best, but thou hast +not the proper attitude of mind befitting a maiden about to enter the +married estate.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Protesting.</i>] Nay, but I am not about to enter the married +estate.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. It is time.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Mockingly pleading.</i>] Entreat me not to leave thee, father, nor +forsake thee; for whither thou goest I will go, and whither——</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Interrupting sternly.</i>] Betty! It ill befitteth a daughter of +mine to quote the Scriptures with such seeming irreverence.—I would not +be parted from thee, yet I would that thou wert promised to some godly +and upright soul that would guide thee yet more surely in the paths of +righteousness. There be many such.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Yea, too many.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. What meanest thou?</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. One were one too many when I would have none.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Shaking his head.</i>] Ah. Betty, Betty! When wilt thou be +serious? There is a goodly youth among the friends surrounding thee whom +I have often marked, both on account of his godly demeanor and simple +wisdom.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Nodding.</i>] Yea, simple.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. I speak of Adonijah Wigglesworth, a most estimable young +gentleman, an acquaintance whom thou would'st do well to cultivate.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Yea, cultivate.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. What thinkest thou?<a name="page_350" id="page_350"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. A sod too dense for any ploughshare. My wit would break in the +turning.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. His is a strong nature, born to drive and not be driven. There +is not such another, nay, not in the whole of Boston.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Nay. I have lately heard there be many such!</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Testily.</i>] Mayhap thou wouldst name a few.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Musingly, holds up her left hand with fingers outspread.</i>] Aye, +that I can. [<i>Checks off one on the little finger.</i>] There be Marcus +Ainslee——</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. A goodly youth that hath an eye for books.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. One eye, sayest thou? Nay, four; and since I am neither morocco +bound nor edged with gilt, let us consign him to the shelf wherein he +findeth fullest compensation.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. How now? A man of action, then, should appeal to thy brash +tastes. What sayest thou to Jeremiah Wadsworth?</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Too brash and rash for me [<i>checking off that candidate on the +next finger</i>], and I'll have none of him. There's Percy Wayne.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Of the bluest blood in Boston.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Yet that be not everything [<i>checks off another finger</i>]—and +Jonas Appleby——</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. He hath an eye to worldly goods——</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Quickly.</i>] Especially the larder. To marry him would be an +everlasting round between the tankard and the kettle. [<i>Checks him +off.</i>] Nay, let me look yet farther—James Endicott. [<i>Checking.</i>]</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Aye, there might be a lad for thee; birth, breeding, a +well-favored countenance, and most agreeable.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Yea, most agreeable—unto himself. 'Twere a pity to disturb such +unanimity. Therefore, let us pass on. Take Charles Manning, an you +please——</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. It pleaseth me not! I know the ilk; his father before<a name="page_351" id="page_351"></a> him a +devoted servant of the devil and King Charles. With others of his kind +he hath brought dissension among the young men of Harvard, many of whom +are dedicated to the service of the Lord, with his wicked apparel and +ungodly fashion of wearing long hair after the manner of Russians and +barbarous Indians. Many there be with him brought up in such pride as +doth in no ways become the service of the Lord. The devil himself hath +laid hold on our young men, so that they do evaporate senseless, +useless, noisy impertinency wherever they may be; and now it has e'en +got out in the pulpits of the land, to the great grief and fear of many +godly hearts.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>He starts to his feet and paces the floor.</i></p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Standing upright.</i>] But Charles——</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Interrupting.</i>] Mention not that scapegrace in my hearing.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Still persisting.</i>] But, father, truly thou knowest not——</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Almost savagely, while</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>retreats to a safe distance</i>.] +Name him not. I will not have it. Compared with Adonijah he is a reed +shaken in the winds, whereas Adonijah resembleth a tree planted by the +river of waters.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Who has been looking out of the window.</i>] Converse of the devil +and thou wilt behold his horns. Even now he approacheth the knocker.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The knocker sounds.</i></p></div> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Sternly.</i>] Betake thyself to thine own chamber with thine +unseemly tongue, which so ill befitteth a maid.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>is very demure, with head slightly bent and downcast eyes; +but the moment</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>turns she glances roguishly after his +retreating form; then while her glance revolves about the room, she +starts slightly as her gaze falls upon the clock. A smile of +mischievous delight flits over her countenance as she tiptoes in</i> +<span class="smcap">Cotton's</span> <i>wake until the clock is reached</i>. <span class="smcap">Cotton</span>, <i>unsuspecting, +meanwhile, proceeds<a name="page_352" id="page_352"></a> to do his duty as host, with never a backward +glance. While he is out in the hall</i> <span class="smcap">Betty,</span> <i>with a lingering smile +of triumph, climbs into the clock and cautiously peeks forth as her +father opens the door and ushers in</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>, <i>whereupon the door +softly closes</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Good-morrow, reverend sir.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Enter, and doubly welcome.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. I would inquire whether thy daughter Betty is within.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. We were but speaking of thee as thy knock sounded. Betty will be +here presently; she hath but retired for the moment. Remove thy wraps +and make thyself in comfort.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>is a lean, lank, lantern-jawed individual, clad in the +conventional sober gray of the Puritan, with high-crowned hat, and +a fur tippet wound about his neck up to his ears. He removes the +hat and tippet and hands them to</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span>, <i>who carefully places +them upon the table; meanwhile</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>looks appraisingly about +him and judiciously selects the armchair by the fire. He pauses a +moment to rub his hands before the blaze, and then gingerly relaxes +into the depths of the armchair, as though fearful his comfort +would give way ere fully attained.</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>places a chair on the +other side of</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>and is seated</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. And how is it with thee since I have seen thee last?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. My business prospereth [<i>mournfully</i>], but not so finely as it +might well do.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The clock strikes four, but is unnoticed by the two men.</i></p></div> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Thou hast suffered some great loss?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. But yes—and no—this matter of lending money hath many and +grievous complications, not the least of which is the duplicity of the +borrower. I but insist on the thirty pounds to the hundred as my due +recompense, and when I demand it<a name="page_353" id="page_353"></a> they respond not, but let my kindness +lie under the clods of ingratitude. [<i>Straightening up, and speaking +with conviction.</i>] They shall come before the council. I will have what +is mine own.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Righteously.</i>] And it is not unbecoming of thee to demand it. +I wist not what the present generation is coming to.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. They have no sense of the value of money. They know not how to +demean themselves properly in due proportion to their worldly goods, as +the Lord hath prospered them. There be many that have nothing and do +hold their heads above us that be worthy of our possessions.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. The wicked stand in slippery places. It will not always be thus. +Judgment shall come upon them.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Aye, let them fall. I for one have upheld them too far. They +squander their means in riotous living, and walk not in the ways of +their fathers.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. There be many such—many such—but thou, my lad, thou art not +one of the multitude. As I have often observed to my Betty, thou +standest out as a most upright and God-fearing young man.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Brimming over with self-satisfaction.</i>] That have I ever +sought to be.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. An example that others would do well to imitate.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>All puffed up.</i>] Nay, others value it not. They be envious +of my good fortune.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. A most prudent young man! Nay, be not so over-blushingly timid. +Thou'rt too modest.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>His face falling.</i>] But Betty—doth she regard me thus?</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. The ways of a maid are past finding out; but despair not. I +think she hath thee much to heart, but, as the perverse heart of woman +dictateth, behaveth much to the contrary.<a name="page_354" id="page_354"></a></p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Brightening up as one with new hopes.</i>] Thou thinkest——</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Interrupting.</i>] Nay, lad, I am sure of it. Betty was ever a +dutiful daughter.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All unseen</i>, <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>peeks out mischievously</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. But I mistrust me her heart is elsewhere.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Thou referr'st to young Manning without doubt. It can never be. +'Tis but a passing fancy.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Nay, but I fear Charles thinketh not so. I have been told in +secret [<i>leaning forward confidentially</i>] by one that hath every +opportunity to know, that he hath enjoined Goodman Shrewsbury to send +for—[<i>impressively</i>] a ring!</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Angered.</i>] A ring, sayest thou?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Nodding.</i>] Aye, even so.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. But he hath not signified such intention here to me.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Then there are no grounds for his rash presumption?</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Humph! Grounds! For a ring! Aye, there'll be no diabolical +circle here for the devil to daunce in. I will question Betty thereon. +[<i>Rises.</i>] Do thou remain here and I will send her to thee. Oh, that he +should offer daughter of mine a ring!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>leaves the room</i>. <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>leans back in his chair in +supreme contentment at the turn affairs have taken. The clamorous +knocker arouses him from his reverie. He gazes stupidly around. The +continued imperious tattoo on the knocker finally brings him to his +feet. He goes into the hall and opens the door. His voice is +heard.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Frostily.</i>] Good-afternoon, Sir Charles, mine host is +absent.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Stepping in.</i>] My mission has rather to do with Mistress +Betty. Is she in?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Closing the hall door, and turning to</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span>,<a name="page_355" id="page_355"></a> <i>replies in +grandiose hauteur</i>.] Mistress Betty is otherwise engaged, I would have +thee know.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Engaged? [<i>Bowing.</i>] Your humble servant, I trust, hath the +supreme pleasure of that engagement.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He glances inquiringly about the room, and places the hat on the +table beside that of</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>. <i>The two hats are as different as +the two men</i>: <span class="smcap">Adonijah's</span> <i>prim, Puritanic, severe</i>; <span class="smcap">Charles's</span> +<i>three-cornered, with a flowing plume</i>.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>is a handsome chap of goodly proportions, with a +straightforward air and a pleasant smile. He is dressed more after +the fashion of the cavaliers of Virginia, and wears a long wig with +flowing curls. The two men size each other up.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Meaningly.</i>] Her father will shortly arrive.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Impatiently striding forth.</i>] Devil take her father. 'Tis +Mistress Betty I would see. Where is she?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>continues pacing the floor</i>. <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>, <i>shocked beyond +measure, turns his back on the offending</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span>, <i>and with folded +arms and bowed head stands aside in profound meditation. The clock +door slowly opens and</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>cautiously peeks out</i>. <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>stops +short and is about to begin a decided demonstration, when</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>, +<i>with a warning glance toward</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>, <i>checks him with upraised +hand. The clock door closes and</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>subsides into the +armchair with a comprehending grin of delight</i>. <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>slowly +turns and faces</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>with a melancholy air</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Prithee, why so sad?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>The grin becomes a chuckle.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. I do discern no cause for such unrighteous merriment.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. 'Tis none the less for all of that. I take life as I find it, +and for that matter so do they all, even thou. The difference <a name="page_356" id="page_356"></a>be in the +finding.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Whistles.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Uneasily.</i>] It is time her father did arrive.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Where then hath he been?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. He but went in search of Betty.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Ah, then we'll wait.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He whistles, while</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>moves uneasily about the room, +glancing every now and then at this disturbing element of his +peace, as if he would send him to kingdom come, if he only could</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>After considerable toleration.</i>] Waiting may avail thee +naught.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. And thee? Nevertheless we'll wait.</p> + +<p class="r"> [<i>Whistles.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Takes another turn or two and fetches up a counterfeit +sigh.</i>] Methinks, her father's quest be fruitless.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Starting up.</i>] Ah, then, let us go.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Adonijah.</span>, <i>visibly relieved, sits down in the chair opposite</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Amused.</i>] Nay? [<i>Sits down and relaxes.</i>] Ah, then, we'll +wait. [<i>Whistles.</i></p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Troubled.</i>] 'Tis certain Mistress Betty be not here.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Nay, if she be not here, then I am neither here nor there. I +would wager ten pounds to a farthing she be revealed in time if she but +will it. Wilt take me up?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. It be not seemly so to stake thy fortune on a woman's whim.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Laughs.</i>] Thou'rt right on it. If she will, say I, for if she +will she won't, and if she won't she will.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. False jargon! A woman has no will but e'en her father's as a +maid, her husband's later still.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span>, <i>who stops short on seeing</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span>, <i>rallies +quickly, and proceeds</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Stiffly.</i>] Good-day to you, sir.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Bowing; he has risen.</i>] And to you, sire.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>.] I am deeply grieved to report that Mistress +Betty is not to be found.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Adonijah.</span> <i>steals a sly look of triumph at</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>In mock solemnity.</i>] I prithee present my deep regrets to +Mistress Betty. I will call again.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. God speed thee! [<i>And as</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>takes his leave</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span> +<i>places his hand affectionately upon</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah's</span> <i>shoulder, saying +reassuringly</i>.] Come again, my son; Betty may not be afar off. I fain +would have her soon persuaded of thy worth. Improve thy time.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Beaming.</i>] Good morrow, sir; I will.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>As the door closes behind them</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>slowly walks toward the +fire, where he stands in complete revery. Still absorbed in thought +he walks slowly out the door at the right.</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>peeks cautiously +out, but hearing footsteps quickly withdraws</i>. <span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>re-enters +with hat on. He is talking to himself, reflectively.</i></p></div> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Where can she be? Mayhap at Neighbor Ainslee's.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He goes hurriedly out through the hall door. The banging of the +outside door is heard. The clock door once more slowly opens and</i> +<span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>peers forth, listening. The sound of a door opening causes +her to draw back. As the noise is further emphasized by approaching +footsteps, she pulls the clock door quickly to.</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>enters. +He looks inquiringly about, tosses his hat on the table, and goes +for the clock. He opens it with a gay laugh.</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>steps forth +out of the clock, very much assisted by</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Blessed relief! Thou art in very truth, then, flesh and blood?</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. And what else should I be, forsooth?</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Laughing.</i>] I marked thee for a mummy there entombed.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Disengaging her hand.</i>] What? Darest thou?</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. A lively mummy now thou art come to, whilst I [<i>sighs</i>]—I +waited through the ages!</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Laughingly.</i>] A veritable monument of patient grief.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. And Adonijah——<a name="page_358" id="page_358"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Yea, verily, old Father Time but come to life. [<i>Mimics.</i>] Thy +waiting may avail thee naught.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. In truth, it may avail me naught; thy father may be back at any +time, while I have much to say, sweet Betty——</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Interrupting.</i>] Nay, sweet Betty call me not.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Dear Betty, then, the dearest——</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Quickly.</i>] Yea, call me dearest mummy, Hottentot, or what you +will, just so it be not <i>sweet</i>, like Adonijah. It sickens me beyond +expressing.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Then, <i>sweet</i> Betty thou art <i>not</i>, say rather sour Betty, +cross Betty, mean Betty, bad Betty, mad Betty, sad Betty.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Suddenly dimpling.</i>] Nay, glad Betty!</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Art then so glad? Wilt tell me why? In sooth, I know not +whither to be glad, or sad, or mad. Sometimes I am but one, sometimes I +am all three.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Wilt tell me why?</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Stepping closer and imprisoning her left hand.</i>] Thou wilt +not now escape it, for I will tell thee why, and mayhap this will aid +me. [<i>Slips ring, which he has had concealed in his pocket, on her +finger.</i>] Hath this no meaning for thee?</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Her eyes sparkling with mischief.</i>] Aye, 'tis a diabolical +circle for the devil to daunce in!</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>In astonishment.</i>] A what?</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Slowly.</i>] A diabolical circle for the devil to daunce in—so +father saith. Likewise Adonijah.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Weakly endeavoring to comprehend.</i>] A diabolical circle—but +what!—say it again, Betty.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Repeats slowly, emphasizing it with pointed finger.</i>] A +diabolical circle for the devil to daunce in.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Throws back his head and laughs.</i>] May I be the devil!<a name="page_359" id="page_359"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Shaking her finger at him.</i>] Then daunce!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They take position, as though for a minuet. The knocker sounds.</i> +<span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>runs to the window</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Aye, there's <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> at the knocker. Into the clock—hie +thee—quick, quick!</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Reproachfully.</i>] And would'st thou incarcerate me through the +ages? [<i>Turns to the clock.</i>] O timely sarcophagus!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>is smuggled into the clock, and</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>has barely enough +time to make a dash for the hat and conceal it behind her before +the door opens and in stalks</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>. <i>He looks about +suspiciously.</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>faces him with the hat held behind her. He +removes his hat and tippet and lays them on the table.</i></p></div> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Methought I heard a sound of many feet.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Looking down.</i>] Two feet have I; no more, no less.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Dryly.</i>] Aye, two be quite sufficient.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. An thou sayest the word, they yet can beat as loud a retreat as +an whole regiment.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Thou dost my meaning misconstrue.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Construe it then, I prithee.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. I came not here to vex——</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Then get thee hence. [<i>He steps forward.</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>steps back</i>.] +But not behind me, Satan.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Coming closer.</i>] And yet thou driv'st me to it.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Backing off.</i>] Indeed, thou hast a nature born to <i>drive</i> and +not be driven.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Highly complimented.</i>] So be it, yet I scarce had hoped that +thou would'st notice. [<i>Advancing.</i>] Born to drive, thou sayest, not be +driven.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Retreating.</i>] Thou hast said it, born to <i>drive</i>. But what to +drive I have not said. That knowledge hath my father yet concealed.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Thy father, then, hath told thee——<a name="page_360" id="page_360"></a></p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Who is retreating steadily across the room.</i>] Thou wert born to +<i>drive</i>!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Strikes settee and goes down on the hat.</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>seats himself +beside</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>. <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>is of necessity forced to remain—on the +hat</i>. <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>slides arm along the back of the settee. The clock +door strikes erratically. He jerks his arm back and gazes in the +direction of the clock. The clock hands wigwag.</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>stares +abstractedly and passes his hand over his forehead in a dazed +manner</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Solicitously.</i>] What aileth thee?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Still staring.</i>] The time!</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Stifles a yawn.</i>] It doth grow late.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. But not consistently; it changeth.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. 'Twas ever so with time.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Reminiscently.</i>] Of a certainty they moved.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Yea, verily, 'tis not uncommon.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. But backwards!</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Joyfully.</i>] Why, then, my prayers are answered. How often I +have prayed them thus to move! Yet hath it never come to pass.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Nay, had'st thou seen——</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Prithee calm thyself. Thou'rt ill.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Steals his arm along the back of the settee and moves over +closer.</i>] Sweet Betty! [<span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>looks away with a wry face</i>.] Thy +indifference in no wise blinds me to thy conception of my true value. +[<span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>sits up, round-eyed</i>.] There was a time when I despaired—[<i>The +clock again strikes wildly. The hands drop and rise as before.</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> +<i>excitedly points at the clock</i>.] Again! Did'st mark it? Something doth +ail the clock!</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Yea, truly thou art ill. The clock behaveth much more to the +point than thou.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Tearing his gaze from the clock.</i>] As I was on the point of +saying—[<i>glances at the clock</i>] thy father hath given—[<i>another +glance</i>] me to understand—[<i>with eye on the clock he hitches up +closer</i>] that thou art not averse to mine affections——<a name="page_361" id="page_361"></a></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>As he attempts to put his arm around</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>the clock strikes a +tattoo and startles him excitedly to his feet, as the hands travel +all the way round</i>.</p></div> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Pointing.</i>] Now look! Mark the time!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>enters</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Tarry yet awhile, my son, the time doth not prevent thee.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Tarry? Time doth not prevent? Little knowest thou! [<i>Gazes +abstractedly about. Sights the ring on</i> <span class="smcap">Betty's</span> <i>finger, who in +excitement has forgotten to keep her hands behind her back</i>.] Aye, there +it is, the diabolical circle. It is a charm. It harms her not, while all +about me is askew. Whence came she here? [<i>Points at</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>.] She +neither came nor went, and yet she was not there and now she is. A manly +form did enter. Yet hath vanished into thin air. Yea, verily, it was +none other than the devil himself in one of his divers forms, of which +he hath aplenty. The very clock indulgeth in unseemly pranks. A strange +influence hangs over me. I cannot now abide. I must depart from hence. +My conscience bids me go.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Striving to detain him.</i>] Hold! Thou'rt mad!</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Nay, father, he is ill.</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Wildly.</i>] Aye, if I be mad, thy daughter be to blame. The +spell did come upon me. I have seen strange things.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. What meanest thou?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. [<i>Pointing at</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>, <i>who regards him wonderingly</i>.] Thy +daughter is a witch!</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Runs to</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span>.] Oh, father!</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Consoles</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>; <i>thunders at</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>.] What? Darest thou to +being forth such an accusation?</p> + +<p>A<small>DONIJAH</small>. Aye, while I yet have strength to order mine own will. We +shall see what we shall see when the fires leap round the stake. All the +diabolical circles the devil may invent or his helpmeets acquire will be +of small avail when the leaping tongues<a name="page_362" id="page_362"></a> of flame curl round you, false +servant of the devil. I can delay no longer. I will repair to the +council at once, and report what I have seen.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>faints away</i>. <span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>is at once all paternal solicitude</i>. +<span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>gazes in stupefaction. All unobserved</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>slips out +of the clock. Finally</i> <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span>, <i>as</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span> <i>shows signs of +reviving, turns himself away, only to find himself face to face +with</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span>. <span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>stops dead in his tracks, absolutely +nonplussed</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Thou goest to the council? Thou lackest evidence. Behold the +devil an' thou wilt.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Adonijah's</span> <i>jaw drops. He stares unbelievingly.</i> <span class="smcap">Cotton</span> <i>looks up +in surprise as</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>continues</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. An' thou goest to the council with such a message, the devil +will dog thy very footsteps. And match word of thine with word of truth +in such a light that thine own words shall imprison thee in the stocks +over Sunday.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Adonijah</span> <i>recovers from his temporary abstraction, and seizing his +hat and tippet, tears out the door as if a whole legion of imps +were in full pursuit</i>. <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>contemptuously turns on his heel +and goes over to</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>, <i>who is now clinging to her father's arm</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Faintly.</i>] They will not burn me for a witch?</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Savagely.</i>] Aye, let them try it an they will.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Hotly.</i>] Aye—let them! [<i>Then starting suddenly with a new +thought.</i>] But how cam'st thou here? Yea, verily, it seemeth to me thou +did'st materialize out of thin air.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Surveys</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>with piercing scrutiny</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Nay, see through me an thou can'st. Thou wilt find me a most +material shadow, the like of which no eye hath ever pierced. 'Twas not +out of the air, but out of yonder clock that I materialized.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Yea, father, I put him there.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. [<i>Going to the clock and opening it.</i>] Of a truth, the<a name="page_363" id="page_363"></a> +evidence, all told, is here. Thou wert of a certainty in the clock. +[<i>Takes out the detached pendulum. Steps back and surveys the timepiece, +whose hands clearly indicate a time long passed or not yet come.</i>] And +as far as pendulums are concerned [<i>looking ruefully at the one in his +hand</i>], thou certainly wert no improve——</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Aye, that I'll warrant. And may I never more be called to +fulfil such position; the requirements be far too exacting for one of my +build and constitution.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. But what extremity hath induced thee to take up thine abode in +such a place?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Lays the pendulum aside and gives</i> <span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>his entire +attention</i>.</p></div> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Why, that came all in the course of events as I take it. When I +returned a short time ago, hard upon mine heels came Adonijah; and, +being loath either to leave the field or share it, I hid within the +clock. Once there, the temptation to help time in covering its course +grew strong upon me in the hope that Adonijah, misled by the lateness of +the hour, would soon depart. Only I looked not for such a departure. +Judge me not too harshly, sire, for I love thy daughter, and if thou +wilt give thy consent to our marriage I will do all that becometh a man +to deserve such treasure.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. I like not thy frivolous manner of wearing hair that is not +thine own; it becomes thee not. And I strongly mistrust thine attitude +toward the more serious things of life.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. If my wig standeth between me and my heart's desire, why, I'll +have no wig at all. [<i>He pulls the wig off and tosses it aside.</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>, +<i>with a little cry, picks it up and smooths its disarranged curls</i>.] And +as for mine outlook on life, I promise thee that hath but matched the +outer trappings, and can be doffed as quickly. I am as serious beneath +all outward levity as any sober-minded judge, and can act accordingly.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. See to it that thou suit the action to those words. My heart is +strangely moved toward thee, yet I would ponder<a name="page_364" id="page_364"></a> the matter more deeply. +[<i>Turns to</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>, <i>who has been absent-mindedly twirling the curls on +the wig</i>.] And where is thy voice, my daughter? Thou art strangely +silent—[<i>as an afterthought</i>] for the once. But it is of small wonder, +since thou hast had enough excitement for one evening. Methinks that +scoundrel, Adonijah, needeth following up. Do thou remain with Betty, +Charles, and I will hasten after him.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Nay, thou need'st not trouble thyself regarding Adonijah. He +hath much too wholesome a regard for the ducking-stool to cause further +mischief.</p> + +<p>C<small>OTTON</small>. Nevertheless, I will away to the council and make sure. [<i>He +plants his hat on his head and departs.</i></p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Turning to</i> <span class="smcap">Betty</span>, <i>who has dropped the wig on the settee, +and who is now gazing demurely at the floor</i>.] And now to finish up +where we left off. The devil hath led us a merrier dance than we +suspected. Thou hast not truly given answer to the question I have asked +of thee.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. What more of an answer would'st thou yet require?</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Why, I have yet had none at all.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. Must tell thee further?</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. [<i>Gravely.</i>] Thou must.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Mischievously.</i>] Then—put the question once again.</p> + +<p>C<small>HARLES</small>. Thou knowest the question, an thou wilt.</p> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. An' thou knowest the answer.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Charles</span> <i>takes her in his arms</i>.</p></div> + +<p>B<small>ETTY</small>. [<i>Holding up her hand so that the ring sparkles.</i>] Look, +Charles—the diabolical circle!</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_365" id="page_365"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +THE FAR-AWAY PRINCESS<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +HERMANN SUDERMANN</small></h2> + +<div class="copyr"> +<p><i>The Far-Away Princess</i> is reprinted by special arrangement with Charles +Scribner's Sons, the publishers of <i>Roses</i>, from which this play is +taken. For permission to perform address the publishers.</p> +</div> + +<p><a name="page_366" id="page_366"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_367" id="page_367"></a></p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="HERMANN_SUDERMANN" id="HERMANN_SUDERMANN"></a>HERMANN SUDERMANN</p> + +<p>Hermann Sudermann, one of the foremost of the Continental European +dramatists, was born at Matziken, in East Prussia, Germany, September +30, 1857. He attended school at Elbing and Tilsit, and then at fourteen +became a druggist's apprentice. He received his university training at +Königsberg and Berlin. Soon he devoted his energies to literary work.</p> + +<p>His greatest literary work is in the field of the drama, in which he +became successful almost instantly. His strength is not in poetic beauty +and in deep insight into human character, as in the instance of a number +of other German dramatists. He is essentially a man of the theatre, a +dramatist, and a technician by instinct. He is a dramatic craftsman of +the first order.</p> + +<p>His chief one-act plays are in two volumes: <i>Morituri</i>, which contains +<i>Teja</i>, <i>Fritchen</i>, and <i>The Eternal Masculine</i>; and <i>Roses</i>, which +contains <i>Streaks of Light</i>, <i>Margot</i>, <i>The Last Visit</i>, and <i>The +Far-Away Princess</i>.</p> + +<p><i>The Far-Away Princess</i> is one of the most subtle and most delicate of +Sudermann's plays. Its technic is exemplary.<a name="page_368" id="page_368"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">CHARACTERS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">The Princess von Geldern</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Baroness von Brook</span>, <i>her maid of honor</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Frau von Halldorf</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Liddy</span> }<i>her daughters</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Milly</span> }</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Fritz Strübel</span>, <i>a student</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Frau Lindemann</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Rosa</span>, <i>a waitress</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">A Lackey</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_369" id="page_369"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="THE_FAR-AWAY_PRINCESSL" id="THE_FAR-AWAY_PRINCESSL"></a>THE FAR-AWAY PRINCESS<a name="FNanchor_L_12" id="FNanchor_L_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_L_12" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[L]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang">THE PRESENT DAY: <i>The scene is laid at an inn situated above a +watering-place in central Germany.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The veranda of an inn. The right side of the stage and half of the +background represent a framework of glass enclosing the veranda. +The left side and the other half of the background represent the +stone walls of the house. To the left, in the foreground, a door; +another door in the background, at the left. On the left, back, a +buffet and serving-table. Neat little tables and small iron chairs +for visitors are placed about the veranda. On the right, in the +centre, a large telescope, standing on a tripod, is directed +through an open window.</i> <span class="smcap">Rosa</span>, <i>dressed in the costume of the +country, is arranging flowers on the small tables</i>. <span class="smcap">Frau Lindemann</span>, +<i>a handsome, stoutish woman in the thirties, hurries in excitedly +from the left</i>.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. There! Now she can come—curtains, bedding—everything +fresh and clean as new! No, this honor, this unexpected honor—! Barons +and counts have been here often enough. Even the Russian princes +sometimes come up from the Springs. I don't bother my head about +them—they're just like—that!—But a princess—a real princess!</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. Perhaps it isn't a real princess after all.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. [<i>Indignantly.</i>] What? What do you mean by that!</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. I was only thinking that a real princess wouldn't be coming to an +inn like this. Real princesses won't lie on anything but silks and +velvets. You just wait and see; it's a trick!<a name="page_370" id="page_370"></a></p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. Are you going to pretend that the letter isn't genuine; +that the letter is a forgery?</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. Maybe one of the regular customers is playing a joke. That +student, Herr Strübel, he's always joking. [<i>Giggles.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. When Herr Strübel makes a joke he makes a decent joke, a +real, genuine joke. Oh, of course one has to pretend to be angry +sometimes—but as for writing a forged letter—My land!—a letter with a +gold crown on it—there! [<i>She takes a letter from her waist and +reads.</i>] "This afternoon Her Highness, the Princess von Geldern, will +stop at the Fairview Inn, to rest an hour or so before making the +descent to the Springs. You are requested to have ready a quiet and +comfortable room, to guard Her Highness from any annoying advances, and, +above all, to maintain the strictest secrecy regarding this event, as +otherwise the royal visit will not be repeated. Baroness von Brook, maid +of honor to Her Highness." Now, what have you got to say?</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. Herr Strübel lent me a book once. A maid of honor came into that, +too. I'm sure it's a trick!</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. [<i>Looking out toward the back.</i>] Dear, dear, isn't that +Herr Strübel now, coming up the hill? To-day of all days! What on earth +does he always want up here?</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. [<i>Pointedly.</i>] He's in such favor at the Inn. He won't be leaving +here all day.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. That won't do at all. He's got to be sent off. If I only +knew how I could—Oh, ho! I'll be disagreeable to him—that's the only +way to manage it!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Strübel</span> <i>enters. He is a handsome young fellow without much +polish, but cheerful, unaffected, entirely at his ease, and +invariably good-natured.</i></p></div> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Good day, everybody.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. [<i>Sarcastically.</i>] Charming day.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Surprised at her coolness.</i>] I say! What's up? Who's been +rubbing you the wrong way? May I have a glass<a name="page_371" id="page_371"></a> of beer, anyway? Glass of +beer, if you please! Several glasses of beer, if you please. [<i>Sits +down.</i>] Pestiferously hot this afternoon.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. [<i>After a pause.</i>] H'm, H'm.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Landlady Linda, dear, why so quiet to-day?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. In the first place, Herr Strübel, I would have you know +that my name is Frau Lindemann.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Just so.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. And, secondly, if you don't stop your familiarity——</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Singing, as</i> <span class="smcap">Rosa</span> <i>brings him a glass of beer</i>.] +"Beer—beer!"—Heavens and earth, how hot it is! [<i>Drinks.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. If you find it so hot, why don't you stay quietly down +there at the Springs?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Ah, my soul thirsts for the heights—my soul thirsts for the +heights every afternoon. Just as soon as ever my sallow-faced pupil has +thrown himself down on the couch to give his red corpuscles a chance to +grow, "I gayly grasp my Alpine staff and mount to my beloved."</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. [<i>Scornfully.</i>] Bah!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Oh, you're thinking that <i>you</i> are my beloved? No, dearest; my +beloved stays down there. But to get nearer to her, I have to come up +here—up to your telescope. With the aid of your telescope I can look +right into her window—see?</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. [<i>Laughing.</i>] Oh, so that's why——</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. Perhaps you think I'm interested in all that? Besides, +I've no more time for you. Moreover, I'm going to have this place +cleaned right away. Good-by, Herr Strübel. [<i>Goes out.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Laughing.</i>] I certainly caught it that time! See here, Rosa, +what's got into her head?</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. [<i>Mysteriously.</i>] Ahem, there are crowned heads and other +heads—and—ahem—there are letters <i>with</i> crowns and letters <i>without</i> +crowns.<a name="page_372" id="page_372"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Letters—? Are you——?</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. There are maids of honor—and other maids! [<i>Giggles.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Permit me. [<i>Tapping her forehead lightly with his finger.</i>] +Ow! Ow!</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. What's the matter?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Why, your head's on fire. Blow! Blow! And while you are getting +some salve for my burns, I'll just——</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Goes to the telescope.</i></p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter</i> <span class="smcap">Frau von Halldorf</span>, <span class="smcap">Liddy</span>, <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Milly</span>. <span class="smcap">Frau von Halldorf</span> +<i>is an aristocratic woman, somewhat supercilious and affected</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. Here's the telescope, mother. Now you can see for yourself.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. What a pity that it's in use just now.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Stepping back.</i>] Oh, I beg of you, ladies—I have plenty of +time. I can wait.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. [<i>Condescendingly.</i>] Ah, thanks so much. [<i>She goes up +to the telescope, while</i> <span class="smcap">Strübel</span> <i>returns to his former place</i>.] +Waitress! Bring us three glasses of milk.</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. [<i>As</i> <span class="smcap">Milly</span> <i>languidly drops into a chair</i>.] Beyond to the right +is the road, mother.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Oh, I have found the road, but I see no +carriage—neither a royal carriage nor any other sort.</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. Let me look.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Please do.</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. It has disappeared now.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Are you quite sure that it was a royal carriage?</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. Oh, one has an instinct for that sort of thing, mother. It comes +to one in the cradle.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. [<i>As</i> <span class="smcap">Milly</span> <i>yawns and sighs aloud</i>.] Are you sleepy, +dear?</p> + +<p>M<small>ILLY</small>. No, only tired. I'm always tired.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Well, that's just why we are at the<a name="page_373" id="page_373"></a> Springs. Do as +the princess does: take the waters religiously.</p> + +<p>M<small>ILLY</small>. The princess oughtn't to be climbing up such a steep hill either +on a hot day like this.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. [<i>More softly.</i>] Well, you know why we are taking all +this trouble. If, by good luck, we should happen to meet the +princess——</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. [<i>Who has been looking through the telescope.</i>] Oh, there it is +again!</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Where? Where?</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Takes</i> <span class="smcap">Liddy's</span> <i>place</i>.</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. It's just coming around the turn at the top.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Oh, now I see it! Why, there's no one inside!</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. Well, then she's coming up on foot.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Milly</span>.] See, the princess is coming up on foot, +too. And she is just as anæmic as you are.</p> + +<p>M<small>ILLY</small>. If I were going to marry a grand-duke, and if I could have my own +carriage driven along beside me, I wouldn't complain of having to walk +either.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. I can't see a thing now.</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. You have to turn the screw, mother.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. I have been turning it right along, but the telescope +won't move.</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. Let me try.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Who has been throwing little wads of paper at</i> <span class="smcap">Rosa</span> <i>during +the preceding conversation</i>.] What are they up to?</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. It seems to me that you've turned the screw too far, mother.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Well, what shall we do about it?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Rising.</i>] Permit me to come to your aid, ladies. I've had +some experience with these old screws.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Very kind—indeed.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Strübel</span> <i>busies himself with the instrument</i>.</p></div> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. Listen, mother. If the carriage has almost reached<a name="page_374" id="page_374"></a> the top the +princess can't be far off. Wouldn't it be best, then, to watch for them +on the road?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Certainly, if you think that would be best, dear +Liddy.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. This is not only an old screw, but it's a regular perverted old +screw.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Ah, really? [<i>Aside to her daughters.</i>] And if she +should actually speak to us at this accidental meeting—and if we could +present ourselves as the subjects of her noble fiancé, and tell her that +we live at her future home—just imagine what an advantage that would +give us over the other women of the court!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. There, ladies! We have now rescued the useful instrument to +which the far-sightedness of mankind is indebted.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. Thanks, so much. Pardon me, sir, but have you heard +anything about the report that the princess is going to make the journey +up here to-day?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. The princess? The princess of the Springs? The princess of the +lonely villa? The princess who is expected at the iron spring every +morning, but who has never been seen by a living soul? Why, I am +enormously interested. You wouldn't believe how much interested I am!</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. [<i>Who has looked out, back.</i>] There—there—there—it is!</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. The carriage?</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY</small>. It's reached the top already. It is stopping over there at the +edge of the woods.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. She will surely enter it there, then. Come quickly, my +dear children, so that it will look quite accidental. Here is your +money. [<i>She throws a coin to</i> <span class="smcap">Rosa</span> <i>and unwraps a small package done up +in tissue-paper, which she has brought with her</i>.] Here is a bouquet for +you—and here's one for you. You are to present these to the princess.</p> + +<p>M<small>ILLY</small>. So that it will look quite accidental—oh, yes!</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All three go out.</i></p></div> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Good heavens! Could I—? I don't believe it! Surely she +sits—well, I'll make sure right away—[<i>Goes up to the telescope and +stops.</i>] Oh, I'll go along with them, anyhow.</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Exit after them.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. [<i>Entering.</i>] Have they all gone—all of them?</p> + +<p>R<small>OSA</small>. All of them.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. [<i>Looking toward the right.</i>] There—there—two ladies +and a lackey are coming up the footpath. Mercy me! How my heart is +beating!—If I had only had the sofa recovered last spring!—What am I +going to say to them?—Rosa, don't you know a poem by heart which you +could speak to the princess? [<span class="smcap">Rosa</span> <i>shrugs her shoulders</i>.] They're +coming through the court now!—Stop putting your arms under your apron +that way, you stupid thing!—oh dear, oh dear——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The door opens.</i> <span class="smcap">A Lackey</span> <i>in plain black livery enters, and +remains standing at the door. He precedes</i> <span class="smcap">The Princess</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Frau +v. Brook</span>. <span class="smcap">The Princess</span> <i>is a pale, sickly, unassuming young girl, +wearing a very simple walking costume and a medium-sized leghorn +hat trimmed with roses</i>. <span class="smcap">Frau v. Brook</span> <i>is a handsome, stately, +stern-looking woman, in the thirties. She is well-dressed, but in +accordance with the simple tastes of the North German nobility.</i></p></div> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Who is the proprietor of this place?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. At your command, your Highness.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. [<i>Reprovingly.</i>] I am the maid of honor. Where is the +room that has been ordered?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. [<i>Opens the door, left.</i>] Here—at the head of the +stairs—my lady.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Would your Highness care to remain here for a few +moments?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Very much, dear Frau von Brook.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Edward, order what is needed for Her Highness, and see +that a room next to Her Highness is prepared<a name="page_376" id="page_376"></a> for me. I may assume that +these are Your Highness's wishes?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Why certainly, dear Frau von Brook.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">The Lackey</span>, <i>who is carrying shawls and pillows, goes out with</i> <span class="smcap">Rosa</span>, +<i>left</i>.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Mais puisque je te dis, Eugénie, que je n'ai pas sommeil. +M'envoyer coucher comme une enfant, c'est abominable.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Mais je t'implore, chérie, sois sage! Tu sais, que c'est +le médecin, qui——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Ah, ton médecin! Toujours cette corvée. Et si je te +dis——</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Chut! My dear woman, wouldn't it be best for you to +superintend the preparations?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. I am entirely at your service.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>About to go out, left.</i></p></div> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. One thing more. This veranda, leading from the house to +the grounds—would it be possible to close it to the public?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. Oh, certainly. The guests as often as not sit out under +the trees.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Very well, then do so, please. [<span class="smcap">Frau Lindemann</span> <i>locks the +door</i>.] We may be assured that no one will enter this place?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. If it is desired, none of us belonging to the house will +come in here either.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. We should like that.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU</small> L<small>INDEMANN</small>. Very well. [<i>Exit.</i></p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Really, you must be more careful, darling. If that woman +had understood French— You must be careful!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. What would have been so dreadful about it?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Oh, my dear child! This mood of yours, which is due to +nothing but your illness—that reminds me, you haven't taken your +peptonized milk yet—this is a secret which we must keep from every one, +above all from your fiancé. If the Grand Duke should discover——<a name="page_377" id="page_377"></a></p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Shrugging her shoulders.</i>] Well, what of it?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. A bride's duty is to be a happy bride. Otherwise——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Otherwise?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. She will be a lonely and an unloved woman.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>With a little smile of resignation.</i>] Ah!</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. What is it, dear? [<span class="smcap">The Princess</span> <i>shakes her head</i>.] And +then think of the strain of those formal presentations awaiting you in +the autumn! You must grow strong. Remember that you must be equal to the +most exacting demands of life.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Of life? Whose life?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. What do you mean by that?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Ah, what good does it do to talk about it?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Yes, you are right. In my soul, too, there are unhappy +and unholy thoughts that I would rather not utter. From my own +experience I know that it is best to keep strictly within the narrow +path of duty.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. And to go to sleep.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Ah, it isn't only that.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Look out there! See the woods! Ah, to lie down on the +moss, to cover oneself with leaves, to watch the clouds pass by high +above——</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. [<i>Softening.</i>] We can do that, too, some-time.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Laughing aloud.</i>] Sometime!</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">The Lackey</span> <i>appears at the door</i>.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Is everything ready?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">The Lackey</span> <i>bows</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Aside to</i> <span class="smcap">Frau v. Brook</span>.] But I simply cannot sleep.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Try to, for my sake. [<i>Aloud.</i>] Does Your Highness +command——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Smiling and sighing.</i>] Yes, I command.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They go out, left.</i><a name="page_378" id="page_378"></a></p> + +<p>[<i>The stage remains empty for several moments. Then</i> <span class="smcap">Strübel</span> <i>is +heard trying the latch of the back door</i>.</p></div> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL'S </small>V<small>OICE</small>. Hullo! What's up! Why is this locked all of a sudden? +Rosa! Open up! I've got to look through the telescope! Rosa! Won't you? +Oh, well, I know how to help myself. [<i>He is seen walking outside of the +glass-covered veranda. Then he puts his head through the open window at +the right.</i>] Not a soul inside? [<i>Climbs over.</i>] Well, here we are. What +on earth has happened to these people? [<i>Unlocks the back door and looks +out.</i>] Everything deserted. Well, it's all the same to me. [<i>Locks the +door again.</i>] But let's find out right away what the carriage has to do +with the case.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Prepares to look through the telescope.</i> <span class="smcap">The Princess</span> <i>enters +cautiously through the door at the left, her hat in her hand. +Without noticing</i> <span class="smcap">Strübel</span>, <i>who is standing motionless before the +telescope, she goes hurriedly to the door at the back and unlocks +it</i>.</p></div> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Startled at the sound of the key, turns around.</i>] Why, how do +you do? [<span class="smcap">The Princess</span>, <i>not venturing to move, glances back at the door +through which she has entered</i>.] Wouldn't you like to look through the +telescope a while? Please do. [<span class="smcap">The Princess</span>, <i>undecided as to whether or +not she should answer him, takes a few steps back toward the door at the +left</i>.] Why are you going away? I won't do anything to you.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Reassured.</i>] Oh, I'm not going away.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. That's right. But—where have you come from? The door was +locked. Surely you didn't climb through the window as I did?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Frightened.</i>] What? You came—through the window?——</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Of course I did.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Frightened anew.</i>] Then I had rather——</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>About to go back.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Oh, my dear young lady, you just stay right here.<a name="page_379" id="page_379"></a> Why, before +I'd drive you away I'd pitch myself headlong over a precipice!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Smiling, reassured.</i>] I only wanted to go out into the +woods for half an hour.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Oh, then you're a regular guest here at the Inn?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Quickly.</i>] Yes—yes, of course.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. And of course you drink the waters down below?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>In a friendly way.</i>] Oh, yes, I drink the waters. And +I'm taking the baths, too.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Two hundred metres up and down every time! Isn't that very hard +on you? Heavens! And you look so pale! See here, my dear young lady, +don't you do it. It would be better for you to go down there—that +is— Oh, forgive me! I've been talking without thinking. Of +course, you have your own reasons— It's decidedly cheaper up +here. <i>I</i> know how to value a thing of that sort. I've never had any +money in all my life!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Trying to seem practical.</i>] But when one comes to a +watering-place, one must have money.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Slapping himself on the chest.</i>] Do I look to you as if I +drank iron? Thank Heaven, I can't afford such luxuries! No; I'm only a +poor fellow who earns his miserable pittance during vacation by acting +as a private tutor—that's to say, "miserable" is only a figure of +speech, for in the morning I lie abed until nine, at noon I eat five and +at night seven courses; and as for work, I really haven't a thing to do! +My pupil is so anæmic—why, compared to him, <i>you're</i> fit for a circus +rider!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Laughing unrestrainedly.</i>] Oh, well, I'm rather glad I'm +not one.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Dear me, it's a business like any other.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Like any other? Really, I didn't think that.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. And pray, what did you think then?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, I thought that they were—an entirely different sort +of people.<a name="page_380" id="page_380"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. My dear young lady, all people are "an entirely different +sort." Of course <i>we</i> two aren't. We get along real well together, don't +we? As poor as church mice, both of us!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Smiling reflectively.</i>] Who knows? Perhaps that's true.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Kindly.</i>] Do you know what? If you want to stay down +there—I'll tell you how one can live cheaply. I have a friend, a +student like myself. He's here to mend up as you are. I feed him up at +the house where I'm staying. [<i>Frightened at a peculiar look of</i> <span class="smcap">The +Princess's</span>.] Oh, but you mustn't be—No, I shouldn't have said it. It +wasn't decent of me. Only, let me tell you, I'm so glad to be able to +help the poor fellow out of my unexpected earnings, that I'd like to be +shouting it from the housetops all the time! Of course, you understand +that, don't you?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. You like to help people, then?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Surely—don't you?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Reflecting.</i>] No. There's always so much talk about it, +and the whole thing immediately appears in the newspapers.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. What? If you help some one, that appears——?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Quietly correcting herself.</i>] I only mean if one takes +part in entertainments for charity——</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Oh, yes, naturally. In those things they always get some woman +of rank to act as patroness, if they can, and she sees to it, you may be +sure, that the newspapers make a fuss over it.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Demurely.</i>] Oh, not every——</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Just try to teach me something I don't know about these titled +women! Besides, my dear young lady, where is your home—in one of the +large cities, or——?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, no. In quite a small town—really more like the +country.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Then I'm going to show you something that you probably never +saw before in all your life.<a name="page_381" id="page_381"></a></p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh do! What is it?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. A princess! H'm—not a make-believe, but a real, true-blue +princess!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, really?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Yes. Our Princess of the Springs.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. And who may that be?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Why, Princess Marie Louise.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Of Geldern?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Of course.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Do you know her?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Why, certainly.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Really? I thought that she lived in great retirement.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Well, that doesn't do her any good. Not a bit of it. And +because you are such a jolly good fellow I'm going to tell you my +secret. I'm in love with this princess!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. You can't imagine what a comfort it is. The fact is, every +young poet has got to have a princess to love.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Are you a poet?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Can't you tell that by looking at me?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. I never saw a poet before.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Never saw a poet—never saw a princess! Why, you're learning a +heap of things to-day!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Assenting.</i>] H'm—and have you written poems to her?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Why, that goes without saying! Quantities of 'em!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, please recite some little thing—won't you?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. No, not yet. Everything at the proper time.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Ah, yes, first I should like to see the princess.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. No, first I am going to tell you the whole story.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, yes, yes. Please do. [<i>Sits down.</i></p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Well, then—I had hardly heard that she was here<a name="page_382" id="page_382"></a> before I was +dead in love with her. It was just as quick as a shot, I tell you. Just +as if I had waited all my life long to fall in love with her. Besides, I +also heard about her beauty—and her sorrow. You see, she had an early +love affair.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Disconcerted.</i>] What? Are they saying that?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Yes. It was a young officer who went to Africa because of +her—and died there.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. And they know that, too?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. What don't they know? But that's a mere detail—it doesn't +concern me. Even the fact that in six months she will become the bride +of a grand-duke—even that can make no difference to me. For the present +she is <i>my</i> princess. But you're not listening to me!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, yes, I am!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Do you know what that means—<i>my</i> princess! I'll not give up +<i>my</i> princess—not for anything in all the world!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. But—if you don't even know her——?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. I don't know her? Why, I know her as well as I know myself!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Have you ever met her, then?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. I don't know of any one who has ever met her. And there's not a +soul that can tell what she looks like. It is said that there were +pictures of her in the shop-windows when she first came, but they were +removed immediately. In the morning a great many people are always +lurking around the Springs trying to catch a glimpse of her. I, myself, +have gotten up at six o'clock a couple of times—on the same errand—and +if you knew me better, you'd realize what that meant. But not a sign of +her! Either she has the stuff brought to her house or she has the power +of making herself invisible. [<span class="smcap">The Princess</span> <i>turns aside to conceal a +smile</i>.] After that, I used to hang around her garden—every day, for +hours at a time. Until one day the policeman, whom the managers of the +Springs have stationed at<a name="page_383" id="page_383"></a> the gates, came up to me and asked me what on +earth I was doing there. Well, that was the end of those methods of +approach! Suddenly, however, a happy thought struck me. Now I can see +her and have her near to me as often as I wish.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Why, that's very interesting. How?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Yes, that's just the point. H'm, should I risk it? Should I +take you into my confidence?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. You promised me some time ago that you would show her to +me.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Wait a second. [<i>Looks through the telescope.</i>] There she is. +Please look for yourself.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. But I am—[<i>She, too, looks through the telescope.</i>] +Actually, there is the garden as plain as if one were in it.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. And at the corner window on the left—with the +embroidery-frame—that's she.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Are you absolutely certain that that is the princess?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Why, who else could it be?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, 'round about a princess like that—there are such a +lot of people. For instance, there is her waiting-woman, there's the +seamstress and her assistants, there's——</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. But, my dear young lady, if you only understood anything about +these matters, you would have been certain at the very first glance that +it was she—and no one else. Observe the nobility in every motion—the +queenly grace with which she bends over the embroidery-frame——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. How do you know that it's an embroidery-frame?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Why, what should a princess be bending over if not an +embroidery-frame? Do you expect her to be darning stockings?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. It wouldn't hurt her at all!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Now, that's just one of those petty, bourgeois notions<a name="page_384" id="page_384"></a> which +we ought to suppress. It's not enough that <i>we</i> have to stick in this +misery, but we'd like to drag her down, too—that being far above all +earthly care——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, dear me!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. What are you sighing about so terribly?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Tell me, wouldn't you like to have a closer acquaintance +with your princess, some time?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Closer? Why should I? Isn't she close enough to me, my far-away +princess?—for that's what I call her when I talk to myself about her. +And to have her <i>still</i> closer?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Why, so that you could talk to her and know what she +really was like?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Terrified.</i>] Talk to her! Heaven forbid! Goodness gracious, +no! Just see here—how am I to face a princess? I'm an ordinary fellow, +the son of poor folks. I haven't polished manners—I haven't even a +decent tailor. A lady like that—why, she'd measure me from top to toe +in one glance. I've had my lessons in the fine houses where I've applied +as tutor. A glance from boots to cravat—and you're dismissed!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. And you think that I—[<i>correcting herself</i>] that this +girl is as superficial as that?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. "This girl"! Dear me, how that sounds! But, how should I ever +succeed in showing her my real self? And even if I should, what would +she care? Oh, yes, if she were like you—so nice and simple—and with +such a kindhearted, roguish little twinkle in her eye——!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Roguish—I? Why so?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Because you are laughing at me in your sleeve. And really I +deserve nothing better.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. But your princess deserves something better than your +opinion of her.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. How do you know that?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. You really ought to try to become acquainted with her some +time.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. No, no, no—and again no! As long as she remains<a name="page_385" id="page_385"></a> my far-away +princess she is everything that I want her to be—modest, gracious, +loving. She smiles upon me dreamily. Yes, she even listens when I recite +my poems to her—and that can't be said of many people! And as soon as I +have finished she sighs, takes a rose from her breast, and casts it down +to the poet. I wrote a few verses yesterday about that rose, that flower +which represents the pinnacle of my desires, as it were.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Eagerly.</i>] Oh, yes. Oh, please, please!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Well, then, here goes. H'm——</p> + +<p class="c">"Twenty roses nestling close——"</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. What? Are there twenty now?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Severely.</i>] My princess would not have interrupted me.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, please—forgive me.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. I shall begin again.</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">"Twenty roses nestling close</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Gleam upon thy breast,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: .25em;">Twenty years of rose-red love</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Upon thy fair cheeks rest.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">"Twenty years would I gladly give</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Out of life's brief reign,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: .25em;">Could I but ask a rose of thee</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 2em;">And ask it not in vain.</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">"Twenty roses thou dost not need—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Why, pearls and rubies are thine!</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: .25em;">With nineteen thou'dst be just as fair,</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 2em;">And <i>one</i> would then be <i>mine</i>!</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 0em;">"And twenty years of rose-wreathed joy</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 2em;">Would spring to life for me—</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: .25em;">Yet twenty years could ne'er suffice</span></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span style="margin-left: 2em;">To worship it—and thee!"</span></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_386" id="page_386"></a></p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. How nice that is! I've never had any verses written to me +b——</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Ah, my dear young lady, ordinary folks like us have to do their +own verse-making!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. And all for one rose! Dear me, how soon it fades! And then +what is left you?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. No, my dear friend, a rose like that never fades—even as my +love for the gracious giver can never die.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. But you haven't even got it yet!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. That makes no difference in the end. I'm entirely independent +of such externals. When some day I shall be explaining Ovid to the +beginners, or perhaps even reading Horace with the more advanced +classes—no, it's better for the present not to think of reaching any +such dizzy heights of greatness—well, then I shall always be saying to +myself with a smile of satisfaction: "You, too, were one of those +confounded artist fellows—why, you once went so far as to love a +princess!"</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. And that will make you happy?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Enormously! For what makes us happy, after all? A bit of +happiness? Great heavens, no! Happiness wears out like an old glove.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Well, then, what does?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Ah, how should I know! Any kind of a dream—a fancy—a wish +unfulfilled—a sorrow that we coddle—some nothing which suddenly +becomes everything to us. I shall always say to my pupils: "Young men, +if you want to be happy as long as you live, create gods for yourselves +in your own image; these gods will take care of your happiness."</p> + +<p>The Princess. And what would the god be like that you would create?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. <i>Would be?</i> <i>Is</i>, my dear young lady, <i>is!</i> A man of the world, +a gentleman, well-bred, smiling, enjoying life—who looks out upon +mankind from under bushy eyebrows, who knows Nietzsche and Stendhal by +heart, and—[<i>pointing to his shoes</i>] who<a name="page_387" id="page_387"></a> isn't down at the heels—a +god, in short, worthy of my princess. I know perfectly well that all my +life long I shall never do anything but crawl around on the ground like +an industrious ant, but I know, too, that the god of my fancy will +always take me by the collar when the proper moment comes and pull me up +again into the clouds. Yes, up there I'm safe. And your god, or rather +your goddess—what would she look like?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Thoughtfully.</i>] That's not easy to say. My goddess would +be—a quiet, peaceful woman who would treasure a secret little joy like +the apple of her eye, who would know nothing of the world except what +she wanted to know, and who would have the strength to make her own +choice when it pleased her.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. But that doesn't seem to me a particularly lofty aspiration, my +dear young lady.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Lofty as the heavens, my friend.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. My princess would be of a different opinion.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Do you think so?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. For that's merely the ideal of every little country girl.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Not her ideal—her daily life which she counts as naught. +It is my ideal because I can never attain it.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Oh, I say, my dear young girl! It can't be as bad as that! A +young girl like you—so charming and—I don't want to be forward, but if +I could only help you a bit!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Have you got to be helping all the time? Before, it was +only a cheap lunch, now it's actually——</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Yes, yes, I'm an awful donkey, I know, but——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Smiling.</i>] Don't say any more about it, dear friend! I +like you that way.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Feeling oppressed by her superiority.</i>] Really, you are an +awfully strange person! There's something about you that—that——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Well?<a name="page_388" id="page_388"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. I can't exactly define it. Tell me, weren't you wanting to go +into the woods before? It's so—so oppressive in here.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oppressive? I don't find it so at all—quite the contrary.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. No, no—I'm restless. I don't know what—at all events, may I +not escort you—? One can chat more freely, one can express himself more +openly—if one——</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Takes a deep breath.</i></p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Smiling.</i>] And you are leaving your far-away princess +with such a light heart?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Carelessly.</i>] Oh, she! She won't run away. She'll be sitting +there to-morrow again—and the day after, too!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. And so that is your great, undying love?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Yes, but when a girl like you comes across one's path——</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. [<i>Hurrying in and then drawing back in feigned +astonishment.</i>] Oh!</p> + +<p>L<small>IDDY AND</small> M<small>ILLY</small>. [<i>Similarly.</i>] Oh!</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Well, ladies, didn't I tell you that you wouldn't find her? +Princesses don't grow along the roadside like weeds!</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. [<i>Disregarding him—ceremoniously.</i>] The infinite +happiness with which this glorious event fills our hearts must excuse in +some measure the extraordinary breach of good manners which we are +committing in daring to address Your Highness. But, as the fortunate +subjects of Your Highness's most noble fiancé, we could not refrain +from——</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Well, well! What's all this?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>.—from offering to our eagerly awaited sovereign a +slight token of our future loyalty. Liddy! Milly! [<span class="smcap">Liddy</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Milly</span> +<i>come forward, and, with low court bows, offer their bouquets</i>.] My +daughters respectfully present these few flowers to the illustrious +princess——<a name="page_389" id="page_389"></a></p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. I beg your pardon, but who is doing the joking here, you +or——?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Frau v. Brook</span> <i>enters</i>. <span class="smcap">The Princess</span>, <i>taken unawares, has +retreated more and more helplessly toward the door at the left, +undecided whether to take flight or remain. She greets the arrival +of</i> <span class="smcap">Frau v. Brook</span> <i>with a happy sigh of relief</i>.</p></div> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. [<i>Severely.</i>] Pardon me, ladies. Apparently you have not +taken the proper steps toward being presented to Her Highness. In +matters of this sort one must first apply to me. I may be addressed +every morning from eleven to twelve, and I shall be happy to consider +your desires.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. H<small>ALLDORF</small>. [<i>With dignity.</i>] I and my children, madame, were +aware of the fact that we were acting contrary to the usual procedure; +but the impulse of loyal hearts is guided by no rule. I shall be glad to +avail myself of your—very kind invitation.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All three go out with low curtsies to</i> <span class="smcap">The Princess.</span></p></div> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. What forwardness! But how could you come down without me? +And what is that young man over there doing? Does he belong to those +people?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">The Princess</span> <i>shakes her head</i>. <span class="smcap">Strübel</span>, <i>without a word, goes to +get his hat, which has been lying on a chair, bows abruptly, and is +about to leave</i>.</p></div> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Oh, no! That wouldn't be nice. Not that way——</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. [<i>Amazed.</i>] What? What! Why, Your Highness——!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Let me be, Eugenie. This young man and I have become far +too good friends to part in such an unfriendly, yes, almost hostile +fashion.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Your Highness, I am <i>very</i> much——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Strübel</span>.] You and I will certainly remember<a name="page_390" id="page_390"></a> this +hour with great pleasure, and I thank you for it with all my heart. If I +only had a rose with me, so as to give you your dear wish! Eugenie, +haven't we any roses with us?</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Your Highness, I am <i>very</i> much——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Examining herself and searching among the vases.</i>] Well, +how are we going to manage it?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. I most humbly thank—your Highness—for the kind intention.</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. No, no—wait! [<i>Her glance falls upon the hat which she is +holding in her hand—with a sudden thought.</i>] I have it! But don't think +that I'm joking. And we'll have to do without scissors! [<i>She tears one +of the roses from the hat.</i>] I don't know whether there are just +twenty—[<i>Holding out one of the roses to him.</i>] Well? This rose has the +merit of being just as real as the sentiment of which we were speaking +before—and just as unfading.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. Is this—to be—my punishment? [<span class="smcap">The Princess</span> <i>smilingly shakes +her head</i>.] Or does your Highness mean by it that only the Unreal never +fades?</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. That's exactly what I mean—because the Unreal must always +dwell in the imagination.</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. So that's it! Just as it is only the <i>far-away</i> princesses who +are always near to us.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Permit me to remark, Your Highness—that it is <i>high</i> +time——</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. As you see, those who are near must hurry away. [<i>Offering +him the rose again.</i>] Well?</p> + +<p>S<small>TRÜBEL</small>. [<i>Is about to take it, but lets his hand fall.</i>] With the +far-away princess there—[<i>pointing down</i>] it would have been in +harmony, but with the—[<i>Shakes his head, then softly and with +emotion.</i>] No, thanks—I'd rather not.</p> + +<p>[<i>He bows and goes out.</i></p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. [<i>Smiling pensively, throws away the artificial<a name="page_391" id="page_391"></a> flower.</i>] +I'm going to ask my fiancé to let me send him a rose.</p> + +<p>F<small>RAU V</small>. B<small>ROOK</small>. Your Highness, I am <i>very</i> much—surprised!</p> + +<p>T<small>HE</small> P<small>RINCESS</small>. Well, I told you that I wasn't sleepy.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_392" id="page_392"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_393" id="page_393"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2> +THE STRONGER<br /> +<br /> +<small>BY<br /> +AUGUST STRINDBERG</small></h2> + +<p><a name="page_394" id="page_394"></a></p> + +<p><a name="page_395" id="page_395"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="AUGUST_STRINDBERG" id="AUGUST_STRINDBERG"></a>AUGUST STRINDBERG</p> + +<p>August Strindberg, Sweden's foremost dramatist, was born at Stockholm in +1849. He attended the University of Upsala but did not graduate. In 1872 +he wrote <i>Master Olaf</i>, which was for six years steadily refused by +managers. When it did appear it inaugurated the Swedish dramatic +renascence. By turns Strindberg was schoolmaster, journalist, dramatist, +writer of scientific and political treatises, and writer of short +stories. In 1883 he left Sweden and travelled extensively in Denmark, +Germany, France, and Italy. He died in 1912.</p> + +<p>As a dramatist Strindberg's chief strength lies not so much in dramatic +technique as it does in his trenchant and searching power of analysis of +the human mind. His chief plays are very exact and narrow views of the +feminine soul. Some of his own domestic bitterness finds expression in +the feminine studies in his plays. He is very fond of showing the power +of one character over another.</p> + +<p>His important one-act plays are <i>The Outlaw</i>, <i>Countess Julie</i>, +<i>Creditors</i>, <i>Pariah</i>, <i>Facing Death</i>, and <i>The Stronger</i>. <i>The +Stronger</i> has a dramatic intensity that few plays possess. Though but +one character speaks, the souls of three are skilfully laid bare.<a name="page_396" id="page_396"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="center">PERSONS</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mrs. X.</span>, <i>an actress, married</i></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span>, <i>an actress, unmarried</i></td></tr> +</table> + +<p><a name="page_397" id="page_397"></a></p> + +<h2><a name="THE_STRONGERM" id="THE_STRONGERM"></a>THE STRONGER<a name="FNanchor_M_13" id="FNanchor_M_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_M_13" class="fnanchor"><span style="font-size:50%;">[M]</span></a></h2> + +<p class="hang">SCENE: <i>A corner of a ladies' restaurant; two small tables of +cast-iron, a sofa covered with red plush, and a few chairs.</i></p> + +<p class="hang"><span class="smcap">Mrs. X.</span> <i>enters, dressed in hat and winter coat, and carrying a +pretty Japanese basket on her arm</i>.</p> + +<p class="hang"><span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>has in front of her a partly emptied bottle of beer; she +is reading an illustrated weekly, and every now and then, she +exchanges it for a new one</i>.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. Well, how do, Millie! Here you are sitting on Christmas Eve, as +lonely as a poor bachelor.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>looks up from the paper for a moment, nods, and resumes +her reading</i>.]</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. Really, I feel sorry to find you like this—alone—alone in a +restaurant, and on Christmas Eve of all times. It makes me as sad as +when I saw a wedding party at Paris once in a restaurant—the bride was +reading a comic paper and the groom was playing billiards with the +witnesses. Ugh, when it begins that way, I thought, how will it end? +Think of it, playing billiards on his wedding day! Yes, and you're going +to say that she was reading a comic paper—- that's a different case, my +dear.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>A waitress brings a cup of chocolate, places it before</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. X.</span>, +<i>and disappears again</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. [<i>Sips a few spoonfuls; opens the basket and displays a number +of Christmas presents.</i>] See what I've bought for my<a name="page_398" id="page_398"></a> tots. [<i>Picks up a +doll.</i>] What do you think of this? Lisa is to have it. She can roll her +eyes and twist her head, do you see? Fine, is it not? And here's a cork +pistol for Carl.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Loads the pistol and pops it at</i> <span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>starts as if +frightened</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. Did I scare you? Why, you didn't fear I was going to shoot you, +did you? Really, I didn't think you could believe that of me. If you +were to shoot <i>me</i>—well, that wouldn't surprise me the least. I've got +in your way once, and I know you'll never forget it—but I couldn't help +it. You still think I intrigued you away from the Royal Theatre, and I +didn't do anything of the kind—although you think so. But it doesn't +matter what I say, of course—you believe it was I just the same. +[<i>Pulls out a pair of embroidered slippers.</i>] Well, these are for my +hubby—tulips—I've embroidered them myself. H'm!—I hate tulips—and he +must have them on everything.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>looks up from the paper with an expression of mingled +sarcasm and curiosity</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. [<i>Puts a hand in each slipper.</i>] Just see what small feet Bob +has. See? And you should see him walk—elegant! Of course, you've never +seen him in slippers.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>laughs aloud</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. Look here—here he comes.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Makes the slippers walk across the table.</i> <span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>laughs +again</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. Then he gets angry, and he stamps his foot just like this: +"Blame that cook who can't learn how to make coffee." Or: "The +idiot—now that girl has forgotten to fix my study lamp again." Then +there is a draught through the floor and his feet get cold. "Gee, but +it's freezing, and those blanked idiots don't even know enough to keep +the house warm."</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She rubs the sole of one slipper against the instep of the +other.</i> <span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>breaks into prolonged laughter</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. And then he comes home and has to hunt for his<a name="page_399" id="page_399"></a> slippers—Mary +has pushed them under the bureau. Well, perhaps it is not right to be +making fun of one's own husband. He's pretty good for all that—a real +dear little hubby, that's what he is. You should have such a +husband—what are you laughing at? Can't you tell? Then, you see, I know +he is faithful. Yes, I know, for he has told me himself—what in the +world makes you giggle like that? That nasty Betty tried to get him away +from me while I was on the road. Can you think of anything more +infamous? [<i>Pause.</i>] But I'd have scratched the eyes out of her face, +that's what I'd have done, if I had been at home when she tried it. +[<i>Pause.</i>] I'm glad Bob told me all about it, so I didn't have to hear +it first from somebody else. [<i>Pause.</i>] And, just think of it, Betty was +not the only one! I don't know why it is, but all women seem to be crazy +after my husband. It must be because they imagine his government +position gives him something to say about the engagements. Perhaps +you've tried it yourself—you may have set your traps for him, too? Yes, +I don't trust you very far—but I know he never cared for you—and then +I have been thinking you rather had a grudge against him.</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Pause. They look at each other in an embarrassed manner.</i></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. Amelia, spend the evening with us, won't you? Just to show that +you are not angry—not with me, at least. I cannot tell exactly why, but +it seems so awfully unpleasant to have you—you—for an enemy. Perhaps +because I got in your way that time [<i>rallentando</i>] or—I don't +know—really, I don't know at all——</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Pause.</i> <span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>gazes searchingly at</i> <span class="smcap">Mrs. X.</span></p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. [<i>Thoughtfully.</i>] It was so peculiar, the way our +acquaintance—why, I was afraid of you when I first met you; so afraid +that I did not dare to let you out of sight. It didn't matter where I +tried to go—I always found myself near you. I didn't have the courage +to be your enemy—and so I became your friend. But there was always +something discordant in the air<a name="page_400" id="page_400"></a> when you called at our home, for I saw +that my husband didn't like you—and it annoyed me—just as it does when +a dress won't fit. I've tried my very best to make him appear friendly +to you at least, but I couldn't move him—not until you were engaged. +Then you two became such fast friends that it almost looked as if you +had not dared to show your real feelings before, when it was not +safe—and later—let me see, now! I didn't get jealous—strange, was it +not? And I remember the baptism—you were acting as godmother, and I +made him kiss you—and he did, but both of you looked terribly +embarrassed—that is, I didn't think of it then—or afterwards, even—I +never thought of it—till—<i>now</i>! [<i>Rises impulsively.</i>] Why don't you +say something? You have not uttered a single word all this time. You've +just let me go on talking. You've been sitting there staring at me only, +and your eyes have drawn out of me all these thoughts which were lying +in me like silk in a cocoon—thoughts—bad thoughts maybe—let me think. +Why did you break your engagement? Why have you never called on us +afterward? Why don't you want to be with us to-night?</p> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>[<span class="smcap">Miss Y.</span> <i>makes a motion as if intending to speak</i>.</p></div> + +<p>M<small>RS</small>. X</small>. No, you don't need to say anything at all. All is clear to me +now. So, that's the reason of it all. Yes, yes! Everything fits together +now. Shame on you! I don't want to sit at the same table with you. +[<i>Moves her things to another table.</i>] That's why I must put those +hateful tulips on his slippers—because you love them. [<i>Throws the +slippers on the floor.</i>] That's why we have to spend the summer in the +mountains—because you can't bear the salt smell of the ocean; that's +why my boy had to be called Eskil—because that was your father's name; +that's why I had to wear your color, and read your books, and eat your +favorite dishes, and drink your drinks—this chocolate, for instance; +that's why—great heavens!—it's terrible to think of it—it's terrible! +Everything was forced on me by you—even your passions. Your soul bored +itself into mine as a worm into<a name="page_401" id="page_401"></a> an apple, and it ate and ate and +burrowed and burrowed, till nothing was left but the outside shell and a +little black dust. I wanted to run away from you, but I couldn't. You +were always on hand like a snake, with your black eyes, to charm me—I +felt how my wings beat the air only to drag me down—I was in the water +with my feet tied together, and the harder I worked with my arms, the +further down I went—down, down, till I sank to the bottom, where you +lay in wait like a monster crab to catch me with your claws—and now I'm +there! Shame on you! How I hate you, hate you, hate you! But you, you +just sit there, silent and calm and indifferent, whether the moon is new +or full; whether it's Christmas or mid-summer; whether other people are +happy or unhappy. You are incapable of hatred and you don't know how to +love. As a cat in front of a mouse-hole, you are sitting there. You +can't drag your prey out, and you can't pursue it, but you can outwait +it. Here you sit in this comer—do you know they've nicknamed it "the +mousetrap" on your account? Here you read the papers to see if anybody +is in trouble, or if anybody is about to be discharged from the theatre. +Here you watch your victims and calculate your chances and take your +tributes. Poor Amelia! Do you know, I pity you all the same, for I know +you are unhappy—unhappy as one who has been wounded, and malicious +because you are wounded. I ought to be angry with you, but really I +can't—you are so small, after all—and as to Bob, why, that does not +bother me in the least. What does it matter to me, anyhow? If you or +somebody else taught me to drink chocolate—what of that? [<i>Takes a +spoonful of chocolate; then, sententiously.</i>] They say chocolate is very +wholesome. And if I have learned from you how to dress—<i>tant +mieux!</i>—it has only given me a stronger hold on my husband—and you +have lost where I have gained. Yes, judging by several signs, I think +you have lost him already. Of course, you meant me to break with him—as +you did, and as you are now regretting—but, you see, <i>I</i><a name="page_402" id="page_402"></a> never would +do that. It wouldn't do to be narrow-minded, you know. And why should I +take only what nobody else wants? Perhaps, after all, I am the stronger +now. You never got anything from me; you merely gave—and thus happened +to me what happened to the thief—I had what you missed when you woke +up. How explain in any other way that, in your hand, everything proved +worthless and useless? You were never able to keep a man's love, in +spite of your tulips and your passions—and I could; you could never +learn the art of living from the books—as I learned it; you bore no +little Eskil, although that was your father's name. And why do you keep +silent always and everywhere—silent, ever silent? I used to think it +was because you were so strong; and maybe the simple truth was you never +had anything to say—because you were unable to think! [<i>Rises and picks +up the slippers.</i>] I'm going home now—I'll take the tulips with +me—your tulips. You couldn't learn anything from others; you couldn't +bend—and so you broke like a dry stem—and I didn't. Thank you, Amelia, +for all your instructions. I thank you that you have taught me how to +love my husband. Now I'm going home—to him!</p> + +<p class="r">[<i>Exit.</i></p> + +<p> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="c"><small>CURTAIN</small></p> + +<p><a name="page_403" id="page_403"></a></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>BIBLIOGRAPHIES</h2> + +<p><a name="page_404" id="page_404"></a></p> + +<p class="hang"><a name="page_405" id="page_405"></a></p> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="COLLECTIONS_OF_ONE-ACT_PLAYS" id="COLLECTIONS_OF_ONE-ACT_PLAYS"></a>COLLECTIONS OF ONE-ACT PLAYS</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The Atlantic Book of Modern Plays.</i> The Atlantic Monthly Press, +Boston, 1921.</p> + +<p class="hang">Baker, Geo. Pierce. <i>Plays of the 47 Workship</i> (two volumes) and +<i>Plays of the Harvard Dramatic Club</i> (two volumes). Brentano's, New +York City, 1918-20.</p> + +<p class="hang">Clark, Barrett H., <i>Representative One-Act Plays by British and +Irish Authors</i>. Little, Brown and Company, Boston, 1921.</p> + +<p class="hang">Cohen, Helen Louise, <i>One-Act Plays by Modern Authors</i>. Harcourt, +Brace and Company, New York, 1921.</p> + +<p class="hang">Eliot, Samuel A., <i>Little Theatre Classics</i>, one-act versions of +standard plays from the modern and the classic plays. Four volumes +now issued. Little, Brown and Company, Boston, 1918.</p> + +<p class="hang">Mayorga, Margaret Gardner, <i>Representative One-Act Plays by +American Authors</i>. Little, Brown and Company, Boston, 1919.</p> + +<p class="hang">Moses, Montrose J., <i>Representative One-Act Plays by Continental +European Authors</i>. Little, Brown and Company, Boston, 1922.</p> + +<p class="hang">Shay, Frank, and Loving, Pierre, <i>Fifty Contemporary One-Act +Plays</i>. Stewart and Kidd Company, Cincinnati, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Wisconsin Plays</i>, First and Second Series. B. W. Huebsch, New York +City, 1914, 1918.</p> + +<p class="hang">Smith, Alice M., <i>Short Plays by Representative Authors</i>. The +Macmillan Company, New York City, 1921.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>A Volume of Plays from the Drama</i>, 59 East Van Buren Street, +Chicago, is announced for 1922.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>A Volume of One-Act Plays</i> from the work of Professor Franz +Rickaby, of the University of North Dakota, is under way.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>A Volume of One-Act Plays</i>, from the work of Professor Frederick +H. Koch, of the University of North Carolina, is under way.</p> + +<p> +<br /><a name="page_406" id="page_406"></a> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="LISTS_OF_ONE-ACT_PLAYS" id="LISTS_OF_ONE-ACT_PLAYS"></a>LISTS OF ONE-ACT PLAYS</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Bibliography of Published Plays Available in English.</i> World Drama +Promoters, La Jolla, California.</p> + +<p class="hang">Cheney, Sheldon, <i>The Art Theatre</i>. (Appendix: <i>Plays Produced at +the Arts and Crafts Theatre, Detroit</i>.) Alfred A. Knopf, New York, +1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Clapp, John Mantel, <i>Plays for Amateurs</i>. <i>Bulletin of The Drama +League of America</i>, Chicago, 1915.</p> + +<p class="hang">Clark, Barrett Harper, <i>How to Produce Amateur Plays</i>. Little, +Brown and Company, Boston, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Dickinson, Thomas H., <i>The Insurgent Theatre</i>. (Appendix: <i>List of +Plays Produced by Little Theatres</i>.) B. W. Huebsch, New York, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Drummond, Alex. M., <i>Fifty One-Act Plays</i>. <i>Quarterly Journal of +Public Speaking</i>, Vol. I, p. 234, 1915.</p> + +<p class="hang">Drummond, Alex. M., <i>One-Act Plays for Schools and Colleges</i>. +<i>Education</i>, Vol. 4, p. 372, 1918.</p> + +<p class="hang">Faxon, F. W., <i>Dramatic Index</i>. Published from year to year, +Boston.</p> + +<p class="hang">French, Samuel, <i>Guide to Selecting Plays</i>. Catalogues, etc. Samuel +French, publisher, New York.</p> + +<p class="hang">Johnson, Gertrude, <i>Choosing a Play</i>. Lists of various types of +one-act plays in the Appendix. The Century Company, New York, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang">Kaplan, Samuel, <i>Actable One-Act Plays</i>. Chicago Public Library, +Chicago, 1916.</p> + +<p class="hang">Koch, Frederick H., <i>Community Drama Service</i>. A select list of +one-act plays. Extension Series, Number 36, in <i>University of North +Carolina Record</i>, Chapel Hill, North Carolina, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang">Lewis, B. Roland, <i>The Technique of the One-Act Play</i> (Appendix: +<i>Contemporary One-Act Plays</i>). John W. Luce and Company, Boston, +1918.</p> + +<p class="hang">Lewis, B. Roland, <i>The One-Act Play in Colleges and High Schools</i>. +A select list of fifty one-act plays. <i>Bulletin of Extension +Division of University of Utah</i>, Series No. 2, Vol. 10, No. 16, +Salt Lake City, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang">Lewis, B. Roland, <i>One Hundred Representative One-Act Plays</i>, in +<i>The Drama</i>, April, 1921, Vol. 11, No. 7, Chicago.<a name="page_407" id="page_407"></a></p> + +<p class="hang">Lewis, B. Roland. <i>Bulletin on the One-Act Play</i>, prepared for The +Drama League of America. Contains a selected list of one hundred +and fifty one-act plays, with analyses, etc. The Drama League of +America, Chicago, Illinois, 1921.</p> + +<p class="hang">McFadden, E. A., <i>Selected List of Plays for Amateurs</i>, 113 Lake +View Avenue, Cambridge, Massachusetts, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang">Mackay, Constance D'Arcy, <i>The Little Theatre in the United States</i> +(Appendix: <i>List of Plays Produced in Little Theatres</i>). Henry Holt +& Company, New York, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Mayorga, Margaret Gardner, <i>Representative One-Act Plays by +American Authors</i> (Appendix: <i>Selective List of One-Act Plays by +American Authors</i>). Little, Brown & Company, Boston, 1919.</p> + +<p class="hang">Merry, Glenn Newton, <i>College Plays</i>. University of Iowa, Iowa +City, Iowa, 1919.</p> + +<p class="hang">Riley, Alice C. D., <i>The One-Act Play—Study Course</i>. Three issues +(February, March, April) of <i>The Drama League Bulletin</i>, 1918, +Washington, D. C.</p> + +<p class="hang">Riley, Ruth, <i>Plays and Recitations, Extension Division Record</i>, +Vol. 2, No. 2, November, 1920. University of Florida, Gainesville, +Florida.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Selected List of Christmas Plays.</i> Drama League Calendar, November +15, 1918, New York.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Selected List of Patriotic Plays and Pageants Suitable for +Amateurs.</i> Drama League Calendar, October 1, 1918, New York.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Selected List of Plays for Amateurs.</i> The Drama League, Boston. +Also Doubleday, Page & Company, New York, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Shay, Frank, <i>Play List, Winter, 1921.</i> Frank Shay, 4 Christopher +Street, New York.</p> + +<p class="hang">Shay, Frank, and Loving, Pierre, <i>Fifty Contemporary One-Act Plays</i> +(Appendix: <i>The Plays of the Little Theatre</i>). Stewart & Kidd +Company, Cincinnati, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang">Stratton, Clarence, <i>Two Hundred Plays Suitable for Amateurs</i>. One +hundred of them are one-act plays. St. Louis, Missouri, 1920. The +Drama Shop, 7 East 42d Street, New York.</p> + +<p class="hang">Stratton, Clarence, <i>Producing in Little Theatres</i> (Appendix +contains a revised list of one-act plays). Henry Holt & Company, +New York City, 1921.</p> + +<p class="hang">Swartout, Norman Lee, <i>One Hundred and One Good Plays</i>. Summit, New +Jersey, 1920.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /><a name="page_408" id="page_408"></a> +</p> + +<p class="cb"><a name="BIBLIOGRAPHY_OF_REFERENCE_ON_THE_ONE-ACT_PLAY" id="BIBLIOGRAPHY_OF_REFERENCE_ON_THE_ONE-ACT_PLAY"></a>BIBLIOGRAPHY OF REFERENCE ON THE ONE-ACT PLAY</p> + +<p class="hang">Andrews, Charlton, <i>The Technique of Play Writing</i>, Chapter XVIII. +Home Correspondence School, Springfield, Massachusetts.</p> + +<p class="hang">Cannon, Fanny, <i>Writing and Selling a Play</i>, Chapter XXII. Henry +Holt & Company, New York, 1915.</p> + +<p class="hang">Cohen, Helen Louise, <i>One-Act Plays by Modern Authors</i>, +Introduction. Harcourt, Brace and Company, New York, 1921.</p> + +<p class="hang">Corbin, John, <i>The One-Act Play</i>, in the New York <i>Times</i>, May, +1918. Vol. IV, p. 8, col. 1.</p> + +<p class="hang">Eaton, Walter P., <i>Washington Square Plays</i>, Introduction. +Doubleday, Page & Company, Garden City, New York, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Gibbs, Clayton E., <i>The One-Act Play</i>, in <i>The Theatre</i>, Vol. +XXIII, pp. 143-156, March, 1916.</p> + +<p class="hang">Goodman, Edward, <i>Why the One-Act Play</i>?, in <i>The Theatre</i>, Vol. +XXV, p. 327, June, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Gregory, Lady Augusta, <i>Our Irish Theatre</i>. G. P. Putnam's Sons, +New York, 1913.</p> + +<p class="hang">Hamilton, Clayton, <i>The One-Act Play in America</i>, in <i>The Bookman</i>, +April, 1913. Appears as Chapter XXII in <i>Studies in Stagecraft</i>, +Henry Holt & Company, New York, 1914.</p> + +<p class="hang">Johnson, Gertrude, <i>Choosing a Play</i>, Chapter III, <i>Why the One-Act +Play?</i>?The Century Company, New York, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang">Lewis, B. Roland, <i>The Technique of the One-Act Play</i>. John W. Luce +& Company, Boston, 1918.</p> + +<p class="hang">Lewis, B. Roland, <i>The One-Act Play in Colleges and High Schools, +Bulletin of the University of Utah</i>, Extension Series No. 2, Vol. +X, No. 16, 1920. Extension Division, University of Utah, Salt Lake +City.</p> + +<p class="hang">Mackay, Constance D'Arcy, <i>The Little Theatre in the United +States</i>, some interesting comments on various one-act plays. Henry +Holt & Company, New York, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Middleton, George, <i>Tradition and Other One-Act Plays</i>, +Introduction, 1913; <i>Embers, Etc.</i>, Introduction, 1911; +<i>Possession, Etc.</i>, Introduction, 1915. All published by Henry Holt +& Company, New York.</p> + +<p class="hang">Middleton, George, <i>The Neglected One-Act Play</i>, in <i>The Dramatic +Mirror</i>, January 31, 1913, pp. 13-14, New York.<a name="page_409" id="page_409"></a></p> + +<p class="hang">Moses, Montrose J., <i>The American Dramatist</i>, comment on the +one-act play. Little, Brown & Company, Boston, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Neal, Robert Wilson, <i>Short Stories in the Making</i>, Chapter I. +Oxford University Press, New York, 1914.</p> + +<p class="hang">Page, Brett, <i>Writing for Vaudeville</i>. Home Correspondence School, +Springfield, Massachusetts, 1915.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>Poole's Index</i>, for articles on the one-act play in the magazines.</p> + +<p class="hang"><i>The Reader's Guide to Periodical Literature</i> for articles on the +one-act play in the magazines.</p> + +<p class="hang">Schitzler, Arthur, <i>Comedies of Words</i>, Introduction by Pierre +Loving. Stewart & Kidd Company, Cincinnati, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Underhill, John Garrett, <i>The One-Art Play in Spain</i>, in <i>The +Drama: A Quarterly Review</i>, February, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Wilde, Percival, <i>Confessional, and Other One-Act Plays</i>, Preface. +Henry Holt & Company, New York, 1916.</p> + +<p class="hang">The several volumes dealing with the short story are suggested as +collateral study: Pitkin, Neal, Williams, Grabo, Baker, Esenwein, +Notestein and Dunn, Canby, Albright, Smith, Cross, Barrett, +Mathews, Pain, Gerwig.</p> + +<p> +<br /> +<br /> +</p> + +<p class="cb">BIBLIOGRAPHY ON HOW TO PRODUCE PLAYS</p> + +<p class="hang">Beegle, Mary Porter, and Crawford, Jack, <i>Community Drama and +Pageantry</i>. The Appendices in this volume contain excellent +bibliographies on almost every aspect of dramatic production. It is +a most valuable work. Yale University Press, New Haven, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Chubb, Percival, <i>Festivals and Plays</i>. Harper and Brothers, New +York, 1912.</p> + +<p class="hang">Clark, Barrett H., <i>How to Produce Amateur Plays</i>. Little, Brown & +Company, Boston, 1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Crampton, C. Ward, <i>Folk Dance Book</i>. A. S. Barnes & Company, New +York, 1909.</p> + +<p class="hang">Hughes, Talbot, <i>Dress Designs</i>. The Macmillan Company, New York, +1913.</p> + +<p class="hang">Johnson, Gertrude, <i>Choosing a Play</i>. The Century Company, New +York, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang">Mackay, Constance D'Arcy, <i>Costumes and Scenery for Amateurs</i>. +Henry Holt & Company, New York, 1915.</p> + +<p class="hang">Mackay, Constance D'Arcy, <i>How to Produce Children's Plays</i>. Henry +Holt & Company, New York, 1915.<a name="page_410" id="page_410"></a></p> + +<p class="hang">Rath, Emil, <i>Esthetic Dancing</i>. A. S. Barnes & Company, New York, +1914.</p> + +<p class="hang">Rhead, G. N., <i>Chats on Costume, or Treatment of Draperies in Art</i>. +F. A. Stokes Company, New York, 1906.</p> + +<p class="hang">Stratton, Clarence, <i>Producing in the Little Theatres</i>. Henry Holt +& Company, New York, 1921.</p> + +<p class="hang">Stratton, Clarence, <i>Public Speaking</i>, has a chapter on Dramatics. +Henry Holt & Company, New York, 1920.</p> + +<p class="hang">Taylor, Emerson, <i>Practical Stage Directing for Amateurs</i>. E. P. +Dutton & Company, New York, 1916.</p> + +<p class="hang">Waugh, Frank A., <i>Outdoor Theatres</i>. Richard G. Badger, Boston, +1917.</p> + +<p class="hang">Young, James, <i>Making Up</i>. M. Witmark & Sons, 114 West 37th Street, +New York.</p> + +<div class="footnotes"><p class="cb">FOOTNOTES:</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> Copyright, 1914, by Charles Scribner's Sons. All rights +reserved.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_B_2" id="Footnote_B_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_B_2"><span class="label">[B]</span></a> Copyright, 1913, by George Middleton. All rights reserved.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_C_3" id="Footnote_C_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_C_3"><span class="label">[C]</span></a> Copyright, 1921. All rights reserved.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_D_4" id="Footnote_D_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_D_4"><span class="label">[D]</span></a> Copyright, 1912, 1921, by Percy Mackaye. All rights +reserved.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_E_5" id="Footnote_E_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_E_5"><span class="label">[E]</span></a> The head and face of the Figure are partly hidden by a +beak-shaped cowl. Momentarily, however, when his head is turned toward +the fire, enough of the face is discernible to reveal his narrow +iron-gray beard, shaven upper lip, aquiline nose, and eyes that twinkle +in the dimness.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_F_6" id="Footnote_F_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_F_6"><span class="label">[F]</span></a> Copyright, 1919, by <i>The Stratford Journal</i>.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_G_7" id="Footnote_G_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_G_7"><span class="label">[G]</span></a> Copyright, 1914, by Bosworth Crocker. All rights reserved.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_H_8" id="Footnote_H_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_H_8"><span class="label">[H]</span></a> Pronounced <i>niece</i>.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_I_9" id="Footnote_I_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_I_9"><span class="label">[I]</span></a> Copyright, 1917, by Little, Brown & Co. All rights +reserved.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_J_10" id="Footnote_J_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_J_10"><span class="label">[J]</span></a> Copyright, 1917, by Oscar M. Wolff. All rights reserved.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_K_11" id="Footnote_K_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_K_11"><span class="label">[K]</span></a> Plans for this clock may be had by addressing Professor N. +B. Knapp, of the Manual Training Department, University of North Dakota, +University, North Dakota. +</p><p> +Copyright, 1922, by the Dakota Playmakers.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_L_12" id="Footnote_L_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_L_12"><span class="label">[L]</span></a> Copyright, 1909, by Charles Scribner's Sons. All rights +reserved.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_M_13" id="Footnote_M_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_M_13"><span class="label">[M]</span></a> Copyright, 1912, by Charles Scribner's Sons. All rights +reserved.</p></div> + +</div> +<hr class="full" /> + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Contemporary One-Act Plays, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CONTEMPORARY ONE-ACT PLAYS *** + +***** This file should be named 37970-h.htm or 37970-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/9/7/37970/ + +Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This book was +produced from scanned images of public domain material +from the Google Print project.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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