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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/37825-8.txt b/37825-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5adf432 --- /dev/null +++ b/37825-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8675 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Thirty Years in Australia, by Ada Cambridge + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Thirty Years in Australia + +Author: Ada Cambridge + +Release Date: October 23, 2011 [EBook #37825] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA *** + + + + +Produced by Darleen Dove, Shannon Barker, Jeannie Howse +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/American +Libraries.) + + + + + + + * * * * * + + +-----------------------------------------------------------+ + | Transcriber's Note: | + | | + | Inconsistent hyphenation and unusual spelling in the | + | original document has been preserved. | + | | + | Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. For | + | a complete list, please see the end of this document. | + | | + +-----------------------------------------------------------+ + + * * * * * + + + + +THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA + + + + + * * * * * + + THIRTY YEARS IN + AUSTRALIA + + + + + BY + ADA CAMBRIDGE + AUTHOR OF "PATH AND GOAL" AND "THE DEVASTATORS" + + + + + METHUEN & CO. + 36 ESSEX STREET W.C. + LONDON + 1903 + + + + + TO + MY TWO LIVING CHILDREN + AND THE DEAR MEMORY OF ONE + WHO WAS LIVING WHEN I WROTE IT + I DEDICATE THIS BOOK + + + + +CONTENTS + + + CHAP. PAGE + + I. "ISLE OF BEAUTY, FARE THEE WELL!" 1 + + II. AUSTRALIA FELIX 11 + + III. THE BUSH 23 + + IV. THE FIRST HOME 35 + + V. DIK 48 + + VI. THE SECOND HOME 64 + + VII. THE THIRD HOME 79 + + VIII. THE MURRAY JOURNEY 93 + + IX. LOCAL COLOUR 111 + + X. THE FOURTH HOME 126 + + XI. THE FIFTH HOME 143 + + XII. THE SIXTH HOME 161 + + XIII. THE BOOM 177 + + XIV. THE SEVENTH HOME 189 + + XV. TOBY 203 + + XVI. THE GREAT STRIKE 214 + + XVII. OVER THE BORDER 236 + + XVIII. THE END OF BUSH LIFE 253 + + XIX. THE EIGHTH HOME 272 + + XX. CONCLUSION 295 + + + + +THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA + + + + +CHAPTER I + +"ISLE OF BEAUTY, FARE THEE WELL!" + + +I knew nothing whatever of Australia when I rashly consented to marry +a young man who had irrevocably bound himself to go and live there, +and, moreover, to go within three months of the day on which the wild +idea occurred to me. During the seven weeks or thereabouts of a +bewildering engagement, the while I got together my modest trousseau, +we hunted for information in local libraries, and from more or less +instructed friends. The books were mostly old ones, the tales the +same. _Geoffrey Hamlyn_ was my sheet anchor, but did not seem to be +supported by the scraps of prosaic history obtainable; we could not +verify those charming homes and social customs. On the other hand, +cannibal blacks and convict bushrangers appeared to be grim facts. As +for the physical characteristics of the country, there were but the +scentless flowers, the songless birds, the cherries with their stones +outside (none of which, actually, is the rule, and I have found +nothing to resemble the description of the latter), and the kangaroo +that carries its family in a breast-pocket, which we felt able to take +for granted. These things we did believe in, because all our +authorities mentioned them. G. had a letter from a college friend who +had preceded him to Australia, reporting the place not wild at all, +but quite like home. He instanced an episcopal dinner-party that he +had attended, and a church dignitary's "three sweetly pretty +daughters," who had come in the evening, and with whom he had sung +duets. But at time of writing he had got no further than +Melbourne--knew no more than we of the mysterious Bush, which I +thought of as a vast shrubbery, with occasional spears hurtling +through it. When we had assimilated all the information available, our +theory of the life before us was still shapeless. However, we were +young and trusting, and prepared to take things as they came. + +G. was an English curate for a few weeks, and an English rector for a +few more. It was just enough to give us an everlasting regret that the +conditions could not have remained permanent. Doubtless, if we had +settled in an English parish, we should have bewailed our narrow lot, +should have had everlasting regrets for missing the chance of breaking +away into the wide world; but since we did exile ourselves, and could +not help it, we have been homesick practically all the time--good as +Australia has been to us. At any moment of these thirty odd years we +would have made for our native land like homing pigeons, could we have +found the means; it was only the lack of the necessary "sinews" that +prevented us. Such a severe form of nostalgia is, however, uncommon +here, and would be cured, I am told, by a twelve months' trip. +Certainly, in nine cases out of ten, where I have known the remedy +tried, it has seemed infallible. The home-goers come back perfectly +satisfied to come back. It is when they stay at home for more than +twelve months that they want to stay altogether. + +G.'s brief curacy synchronised with our brief engagement. I was a +district visitor in the parish which he served, and in which he was +born. He became a rector on the wedding day. The charming rectory was +placed at our disposal for the honeymoon by the real incumbent, our +mutual friend, he and his good wife taking the opportunity to pay +visits until we had done with it. We drove thither in the afternoon, +and heard the bells ringing as we entered the village, and found the +rectory-gate set wide and the white-satin-ribboned maids awaiting us +on the doorstep of the beflowered house. We had two maids and a man +servant; we had a brougham; we had a tiny hamlet of a parish in which +(compared with what we have known of parishes) there was nothing to +do--two services on Sunday, and a little business of coal and clothing +clubs during the week--and where our parishioners dropped curtseys to +us on the road, and felt honoured beyond measure when we went to see +them. No wonder that, under the too totally opposite circumstances of +clerical life as we have lived it here, we have looked back to that +haven of dignified peace and ease with the wish--the stupid wish--that +we could have had it always. + +Nothing could have suited us better while we did have it. We were but +four miles from our homes, and could see our people, who were to lose +us in a month, while still ostensibly in bridal seclusion. A sister +from whom I was separated for the whole of the thirty years, but who +is with me now, to gossip, as we are always doing, of those old days, +used to walk out before breakfast. We would have a quiet sewing +morning, getting forward with the preparations still so far from +completed; then we would perhaps drive her home in the afternoon, and +get an hour with my mother, who surpassed all the mothers I ever knew +in her unselfish passion for her children, and for whom my heart +bleeds to this day when I think of what my going cost her--for I know +more of mothers' sufferings in that way than I did then. She would be +working her dear fingers to the bone over something to add to the +array of zinc-lined boxes which were being fed by instalments in my +deserted room, and I see now the flash of tearful joy that lit her +fair, fine-featured face when I came with my poor crumb of comfort for +her hungry heart. Intimate girl companions walked over to lunch or to +play a game of croquet, or to make better use of the little time +remaining to us; and we walked half-way back with them on the lonely +road and through the leafy lanes. It was April and May, and, as far as +I can remember, all fine weather--a last impression of English +springtime that has lived with me like a beautiful portrait, an +idealised portrait, of a dead and longed-for friend. "Oh to be in +England now that April's there!" has been the yearly aspiration of my +homesick soul, which takes no account of east winds and leaden skies, +but only of chaffinches and apple boughs, just as Browning's did. My +birds are the skylarks above those fen-meadows, and the flower I think +of first my favourite lily-of-the-valley, of which I carried a great +bunch, with the dew still on it, to the cathedral on my +wedding-morning. And those golden May evenings, when we wandered back +along the empty road, after setting our friends on their homeward +way--I see them in some of Leader's pictures, which, if I were rich, +I would buy to live with me, for that reason only. The friends could +dine with us at the then usual hour, and still get home before the +slow twilight passed into night--a thing impossible in this country. +They were the last hours that we spent together--all young things +then, but now grey and elderly, though I cannot realise it; three of +them widows, most of them grandmothers, but never old to me, nor I to +them. For more than thirty years we have not met, and there have been +long gaps in our correspondence; but friendship has survived all, +unchanged. They still write to ask when they are to see me, and I +still write back to make provisional appointments which I can by no +effort contrive to keep. + +I was married on the 25th of April 1870. On the same date of the +following month I left them all, never--as now seems only too +probable--to return. We buoyed ourselves up through the anguish of the +last farewells with a promise, made in all good faith, that I should +come back in five years. My husband promised to bring me. "We must +save up," we said to each other, "and have a holiday then." It was an +easy thing to plan, but proved too difficult to carry out. After we +became a family, going anywhere meant going as a family, and taking +all the roots of its support and livelihood with it. Theoretically, I +could have run home alone, if not in five years, in eight or ten--we +could have afforded that--but practically it was as impossible as that +we should all go, which we could never afford. So here we are still, +and my poor mother, who lived to the last on the hope that we had +given her, has long been in her grave. There is no trace of an English +home to go back to now. + +We went alone to London for two or three busy days. Friends of G.'s, +whom I had never seen before, adopted us for the time, and fathers and +mothers could not have done more for us. They furnished our cabin in +the docks, and attended to our luggage--we saw neither until we went +on board at Plymouth--and pressed help and comfort of every kind upon +us. The ship's regulation against private liquors was set at naught by +a great box that stood in our cabin throughout the voyage, placed +there by the order of one of these friends. The box was a complete +wine-cellar, containing, in addition to wines of the best and dozens +of soda water, an assortment of choice cordials and liqueurs, the like +of some of which we have not tasted since. There was a particular +ginger-brandy--administered to me in the cold, wild weather of which +we had so much--that we have tried to get at various times in vain. +What we get is as moonlight unto sunlight compared with that +ginger-brandy of the ship. I may say that the donor was a London wine +merchant in extensive business. Not we only, but many a sick and +shivering fellow-passenger had cause to bless his generous heart and +hand. + +Our last sight of this gentleman and his family was on Paddington +platform, whither they had driven us after a festive farewell dinner, +at which our healths were drunk and good fortune invoked upon our +journey. We sat in the train, and they piled their parting presents on +our laps. One of them brought me a fine pair of field-glasses to look +at flying-fish and porpoises with--I use them now, daily, to watch the +approach of family and visitors coming across Hobson's Bay; another +rushed to the bookstall that had already supplied us with all its +papers, bought a complete set of Dickens' novels, and tumbled them in +armfuls upon the carriage seat beside us, just as the train was moving +off. Australian hospitality cannot surpass that of those kind people, +to whom I had been a perfect stranger two days before. + +Most of the night, as we travelled down to Plymouth, I talked with paper +and pencil to my beloved ones at home. For change of position, and to +get better light, I knelt on the carriage seat for a time, spreading my +sheet on the leather of the back. Our one fellow-traveller, a stout +clergyman, dozing since we started in his distant corner, woke up to see +what I was doing, and remonstrated with me. "Don't you think," said he, +"that you had better try to sleep a little now, and write your letters +in the morning?" In the fulness of my heart, I told him that I did not +know how much of the morning might be left me, and the pressing reasons +that there were for making the most of my time. Then he informed us that +he too was to sail for Australia to-morrow, and by the same ship; and it +immediately transpired that he was the person for whose sake that ship +had been chosen for us. We had arranged a later start by one of Green's +line, when a venerable archdeacon, visiting us at our rectory, urged us +to change to one of Money Wigrams', because he knew of a Melbourne +clergyman who was going in her. The clergyman had his wife with him, +which our archdeacon thought would be so nice for me. With great +difficulty we transferred ourselves, anticipating advantages that we did +not get. The Melbourne clergyman--here revealed--was a good man, but an +uncongenial companion at close quarters; his wife--she was his second, +and had been the servant of his first--was more so, and a terrible +stirrer-up of strife amongst the other lady passengers. She had embarked +in London. + +I remember the look of Devonshire in the early May dawn. My +grandmother had died at Ottery St. Mary, and I loved the pleasant +county and for years had wanted to explore it. But this was all I ever +saw of its beautiful face--Ivy Bridge (was that the name?), one scene +that has not faded, and the place where the railway ran close beside +the sea. We reached Plymouth at a ghastly hour before anybody was up. +At the hotel recommended to us by our latest friend we were shown into +a room where the dirty glasses and tobacco ashes of the night before +still defiled the air and the tablecloth. Here we sat until a bedroom +was ready for us, when we went to bed--which seemed a most useless +proceeding--until there was a fair chance of getting breakfast. A bath +and a good meal pulled us together, and then we went out for our last +walk on English ground. A charming walk it was, exploring that old +town--I would give something to be able to repeat it--and a sweet +conclusion to our home life. We returned to our hotel for a bite of +lunch, hired an old man and a barrow to trundle our few things (the +heavy baggage having been put on board in London) to the waterside, +and after him a waterman and a boat, and got out to our ship lying in +the Sound--the first we saw of her--at a little before noon, which was +her advertised sailing hour. The newspapers called her a "fine +powerful clipper ship of 1150 tons," and boasted that her saloon, +which was "a very spacious apartment," could "accommodate forty +passengers with ease." We were thirty-two and a baby, which seemed +just to fill it comfortably. Such were the mammoth liners of those +days. As we were rowed up to her gangway, bashful under the eyes of a +number of keenly-interested spectators, whose heads hung over the +bulwark, we thought her wonderful. + +The wife of our latest acquaintance received us on deck, but all she +wanted of us was information as to where her husband was and what he +was doing. We could not tell her; we had not seen him since our +arrival in the town. She could do nothing but watch for him, fuming; +and we went to our quarters and our discoveries of the comforts there +provided for us by the thoughtfulness of our London friends. We had +one of the only two large cabins on the ship; the other was the +captain's; the rudder clanked between us and him, behind the bulkhead +at the end of our wide curved sofa, where the pillow, tucked into a +bright rug, was a full-sized feather bed, a wedding present that at +first we did not know what to do with, but which soon proved the most +valuable of them all, as it still is, in the form of plenty of soft, +fat cushions all over the house. I spent a large part of my days at +sea reclining upon this downy mass, which began below my +shoulder-blades and sloped upward nearly to the ceiling; as I lay I +could look out of and down from the row of stern windows that made one +side of my couch, and watch the following birds and fishes--sometimes +a shark beguiled with a piece of pork--without lifting my head. It was +an envied place in the tropics, when the air swept free to the main +deck through open doors; but in rough weather--and it was nearly all +rough weather--the swing of the sea-saw was killing. It used to fling +me out of bed over a high bunk board until I was black and blue with +my falls, and it kept me sea-sick the whole voyage. + +We "settled up" our room according to our inexperienced notions, and +at four o'clock we sat down to dinner in the "cuddy," still in port. +Excellent dinners we had at that odd hour for dining, which was the +regular hour, and really a very suitable one under the circumstances +of sea life, breaking up the long day of which most of us were tired +by the time the first dressing-bell rang at half-past three. The +function practically occupied the afternoon, and, as I said, was +carried out to the satisfaction of all save those who would never have +been satisfied with anything. That the company could feed us so well, +and lodge and carry us, for less than ten shillings a day argued good +management, but I think they must have relied on the dead cargo for +their profits. We were in Plymouth Sound on Sunday morning. On Sunday +evening a party of passengers went ashore to attend church. "Mind," +said the captain, "if a wind gets up while you are away, I shall not +wait for you." But no wind stirred that night, nor all the next day, +nor the next. Our clergyman friend (without his wife) darted to and +fro, for he was confident that no ship would venture to leave a person +of his importance behind, but we dared not risk it. We spent our time +leaning over the poop-rail, gazing at the dear land, so near and yet +so far, and thinking of our mourning relatives, with whom we might +have been if we had known. When I was not doing that, I was writing to +them. On Wednesday morning, the 1st of June--we had embarked on +Saturday--the post-bag was closed for the pilot, and I looked my last +on England through a grey sheet of rain. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +AUSTRALIA FELIX + + +The story of a sea-voyage thirty years ago, if it could properly be +included in this chronicle, might interest the young reader, born +since the era of the sailing ship, and to whom therefore the true +romance of ocean travel is unknown. To me, who, if I could cross the +world to-morrow, would choose the most civilised steamer I could +afford, the memory of the _Hampshire_ on her maiden trip brings regret +for beauty vanishing from the world, as the Pink Terraces of New +Zealand have vanished, or the big bird-thronged hedges of rural +England in my nutting and blackberrying childhood. All such losses +have been amply compensated for, no doubt--I am not of those who, +having outlived them, insist that the old times were better than the +new--but they are losses, notwithstanding. The fine old sailing +sailor-men and their noble seamanship, and the almost sentient +responsiveness of the "powerful clipper" of a thousand tons or so in +their hands--the spectacle of her with all her tiers of sails full, +leaning to the breeze, or fighting storms, bare-poled, by sheer brain +sense and the inspiration of the divinest unconscious courage that +human history can show--there is nothing in the splendid new régime to +touch the heart and the imagination as these did. I forget the +hard-bottomed and treacherous bunks, the soon-carpetless, soaked +floors, the dancing table that shot fowls and legs of mutton into our +laps out of dish and fiddle, the cold that one could find no shelter +from except in bed, the terrible gales, the incurable sea-sickness, +the petty feuds of the lady passengers; that is, I think of them as +not worth thinking of, with the feeling that it was finer to rough it +a bit as we did than to be pampered at every turn as sea-travellers +are now, and in recognition of the fact that my sufferings brought me +many pleasures that otherwise I should have been deprived of. The +captain wanted to--only I would not let him--give me his own swinging +cot. The head steward used to smuggle in mysterious parcels, which, +when unwrapped, disclosed little dainties, specially prepared and hot +from the cooking-stove, to tempt her who was said to be "the most +sea-sick lady they had ever carried." The other ladies, when not +immersed in their little social broils, from which my physical state +and geographical position detached me, were kindness itself. One of +them gave me that nearly extinct article, a hair net--it was the day +of chignons, the manufacture of which was beyond me--and seldom have I +received a more useful gift. With my hair tucked into this bag, +dressing-gowned and shawled, I used to go up after nightfall to a +couch on the skylight; there I would enjoy myself, feeling fairly well +until I moved to go down again--amused with the little comedies going +on around me, and enraptured with the picture of the winged vessel as +I looked up through her labyrinth of rigging to the mastheads and the +sky, and then down and around at the sea and the night through which +she moved so majestically. Pictures of her sweeping through a +dream-like world of moonlight and mystery are indelible in my mind. +Sometimes the moonlight was so bright that we played chess and card +games by it on the skylight and about the deck. At other times we lay +becalmed, and I had my chance to dress myself and enjoy the evening +dance or concert, or whatever was going on. But at the worst of +times--even in the tremendous storms, when the ship lay poop-rail +under, all but flat on her beam ends (drowning the fowls and pigs on +that side), or plunged and wallowed under swamping cross-seas that +pounded down through smashed skylights upon us tumbling about +helplessly in the dark--even in these crises of known danger and +physical misery there was something exhilarating and uplifting--a +sense of finely-lived if not heroic life, that may come to the coddled +steamer passenger when the machinery breaks down, but which I cannot +associate with him and his "floating hotel" under any circumstances +short of impending shipwreck. + +We sighted Cape Otway on the 16th of August. Seventy-seven days! Yet +the Melbourne newspapers of the 19th called it smart work, considering +the sensational weather we had passed through. More than forty ships +were reported overdue when we arrived--a curious thing to think of +now, with the steamers crowding every port keeping time like +clockwork. The pilots that bring them up the bay can rarely enjoy the +popularity and prestige of their predecessors of the last generation. +The sensation caused by the knowledge that ours was on board, with his +month-and-a-half-old letters and newspapers, filled with information +of the happenings in the world from which we had been totally cut off +for nearly a quarter of a year, must have been delightful to him. We +came out to breakfast to find him there, crowded about by the young +men, the honoured guest of the company, one and all of whom hung upon +his every word--particularly the gamblers who had had to wait till now +for the name of the Derby winner. I remember that this item of news +was considered the most important; next to it was the news that +Dickens was dead. + +Although we sighted land on the 16th, it was not until the 19th that +we set foot upon it, so leisurely did we do things in those days. +Contrary winds kept us hovering about the Heads for some hours. The +pilot who came on board before breakfast saw us well into our +afternoon dinner before he decided to tack through the Rip against +them; we shortened the meal which it was our custom to make the most +of in order to watch the manoeuvre, which was very pretty. The captain +was charmed with it, although there was one awful moment when the +vessel was but her own length from one of the reefs--the noise of the +wind had caused one of the yelled orders to be misunderstood--and it +was amusing to note his joyous excitement as he marched about, rubbing +his hands. "She's a yacht, sir," he bawled to the sympathetic pilot; +"you can do anything with her." "You can that," the pilot answered, as +he made his delicate zig-zags through that formidable gateway in the +teeth of the wind--a feat in seamanship that the dullest landlubber +could not but admire and marvel at. + +And so we came to shelter and calm water at last. We anchored off +Queenscliff and signalled for the doctor, who did not immediately put +out to us, as he should have done. We had had such hopes of getting +to a shore bed that night that most of us had stripped our cabins--the +furniture of which had to be of our own providing--and packed +everything up; now we had to unpack again, to get out bedding for +another night and find a candle by which to see to take off the smart +shore clothes in which we had sat all day, eyeing each other's +costumes, which for the first time seemed to reveal us in our true +characters. We were ungratefully disheartened by this trivial +disappointment, and retired to rest all grumbling at the Providence +which had brought us through so many perils unharmed. + +Next morning the ship seethed with indignation because the doctor +still made no sign. What happened to him afterwards I don't know, but +the penalties he was threatened with for being off duty at the wrong +time were heavy. He detained us so long that again our confident +expectation of a shore bed was frustrated; for yet another night we +had to camp in our dismantled cabin. The pair of tugs that dragged us +from the Heads to Hobson's Bay, making their best pace, could not get +us home until black night had fallen and it was considered too late to +go up to the pier. + +I suppose it was about nine o'clock when we dropped anchor. All we +could see of the near city was a three-quarter ring of lights dividing +dark water from dark sky--just what I see now every night when I come +upstairs to bed, before I draw the blinds down. We watched them, +fascinated, and--still more fascinating--the boats that presently +found their way to us, bringing welcoming friends and relatives to +those passengers who possessed them. We, strangers in a strange land, +sat apart and watched these favoured ones--listened to their callings +back and forth over the ship's side, beheld their embraces at the +gangway, their excited interviews in the cuddy, their gay departures +into the night and the unknown, which in nearly every case swallowed +them for ever as far as we were concerned. Three only of the whole +company have we set eyes on since--excepting the friend who became our +brother--and one of these three renewed acquaintance with us but a +year or two ago. Another I saw once across a hotel dinner-table. The +third was the clergyman who had been so kindly foisted on us--or we on +him--before we left England; and it was enough for us to see him afar +off at such few diocesan functions as we afterwards attended together; +we dropped closer relations as soon as there was room to drop them. +However, he was a useful and respected member of his profession, and +much valued by his own parish, from which death removed him many a +year ago. Quite a deputation of church members came off to welcome him +on that night of his return from his English holiday, and to tell him +of the things his _locum tenens_ had been doing in his absence. He was +furious at learning that this person--at the present moment the head +of the Church of England in this state--had had the presumption to +replace an old organ--_his_ old organ--with a new one. In the +deputation were ladies with votive bouquets for his wife; the perfume +of spring violets in the saloon deepened the sense of exile and +solitude that crept upon us when their boat and the rest had vanished +from view, leaving but the few friendless ones to the hospitality of +the ship for a last night's lodging. + +However, in the morning, we had our turn. It was the loveliest +morning, a sample of the really matchless climate (which we had been +informed was exactly like that of the palm-houses at Kew), clear as +crystal, full of sunshine and freshness; and when we awoke amid +strange noises, and looked out of our port-hole, we saw that not sea +but wooden planks lay under it--Port Melbourne railway pier, exactly +as it is now, only that its name was then Sandridge and its old piles +thirty years stouter where salt water and barnacles gnawed them. + +With what joy as well as confidence did we don our best clerical coat +and our best purple petticoat and immaculate black gown (the skirt +pulled up out of harm's way through a stout elastic waist-cord, over +which it hung behind in a soft, unobtrusive bag, for street wear), and +lay out our Peter Robinson jacket and bonnet, and gloves from the +hermetically sealed bottle, upon the bare bunk! And the breakfast we +then went to is a memory to gloat upon--the succulent steak, the fresh +butter and cream, the shore-baked rolls, the piled fruits and salads; +nothing ever surpassed it except the mid-day meal following, with its +juicy sirloin and such spring vegetables as I had never seen. This +also I battened on, with my splendidly prepared appetite, though G. +did not. The bishop's representative--our first Australian friend, +whose fine and kindly face is little changed in all these years, and +which I never look upon without recalling that moment, my first and +just impression of it and him--appeared in our cabin doorway early in +the morning; and it was deemed expedient that G. should go with him to +report himself at headquarters, and return for me when that business +was done. So I spent some hours alone, watching the railway station at +the head of the pier through my strong glasses. In the afternoon I +too landed, and was driven to lodgings that had been secured for us in +East Melbourne, where we at once dressed for dinner at the house of +our newest friend, and for one of the most charming social evenings +that I ever spent. The feature of it that I best remember was a vivid +literary discussion based upon _Lothair_, which was the new book of +the hour, and from which our host read excruciating extracts. How +brightly every detail of those first hours in Australia stands out in +the mind's records of the past--the refined little dinner (I could +name every dish on the dainty table), the beautiful and adored invalid +hostess, who died not long afterwards, and whom those who knew her +still speak of as "too good for this world"; the refreshment of +intellectual talk after the banalities of the ship; the warm kindness +of everybody, even our landlady, who was really a lady, and like a +mother to me; the comfort of the sweet and clean shore life--I shall +never cease to glow at the recollection of these things. The beautiful +weather enhanced the charm of all, and--still more--the fact that, +although at first I staggered with the weakness left by such long +sea-sickness, I not only recovered as soon as my foot touched land, +but enjoyed the best health of my life for a full year afterwards. + +The second day was a Saturday, and we were taken out to see the +sights. No description that we had read or heard of, even from our +fellow-passengers whose homes were there, had prepared us for the +wonder that Melbourne was to us. As I remember our metropolis then, +and see it now, I am not conscious of any striking general change, +although, of course, the changes in detail are innumerable. It was a +greater city for its age thirty years ago than it is to-day, great as +it is to-day. I lately read in some English magazine the statement +that tree-stumps--likewise, if I mistake not, kangaroos--were features +of Collins Street "twenty-five years ago." I can answer for it that in +1870 it was excellently paved and macadamised, thronged with its +waggonette-cabs, omnibuses, and private carriages--a perfectly good +and proper street, except for its open drainage gutters. The nearest +kangaroo hopped in the Zoological Gardens at Royal Park. In 1870, +also--although the theatrical proceedings of the Kelly gang took place +later--bushranging was virtually a thing of the past. So was the Bret +Harte mining-camp. We are credited still, I believe, with those +romantic institutions, and our local story-writers love to pander to +the delusion of some folks that Australia is made up of them; I can +only say--and I ought to know--that in Victoria, at any rate, they +have not existed in my time. Had they existed in the other colonies, I +must have heard of it. The last real bushranger came to his inevitable +bad end shortly before we arrived. The cowardly Kellys, murderers, and +brigands as they were, and costlier than all their predecessors to +hunt down, always seemed to me but imitation bushrangers. Mining has +been a sober pursuit, weighted with expensive machinery. Indeed, we +have been quite steady and respectable, so far as I know. In the way +of public rowdyism I can recall nothing worth mentioning--unless it be +the great strike of 1890. + +We went to see the Town Hall--the present one, lacking only its +present portico; and the splendid Public Library, as it was until a +few years ago, when a wing was added; and the Melbourne Hospital, as +it stands to-day; and the University, housed as it is now, and +beginning to gather its family of colleges about it. We were taken +a-walking in the Fitzroy Gardens--saw the same fern gully, the same +plaster statues, that still adorn it; and to the Botanical Gardens, +already furnished with their lakes and swans, and rustic bridges, and +all the rest of it. And how beautiful we thought it all! As I have +said, it was springtime, and the weather glorious. There had been +excessive rains, and were soon to be more--rains which caused 1870 to +be marked in history as "the year of the great floods"--but the +loveliness of the weather as we first knew it I shall never forget. + +We finished the week in the suburban parish that included Pentridge, +the great prison of the State--an awesome pile of dressed granite then +as now. The incumbent was not well, and G. was sent to help him with +his Sunday duty. The first early function was at the gaol, from which +they brought back an exquisitely-designed programme of the music and +order of service, which I still keep amongst my mementoes of those +days. It was done by a prisoner, who supplied one, and always a +different one, to the chaplain each Sunday. + +At his house--where again we were surprised to find all the +refinements we had supposed ourselves to have left in England, for he +and his wife were exceptionally cultivated persons--we slept on the +ground floor for the first time in our lives, all mixed up with +drawing-room and garden, which felt very strange and public, and +almost improper. Now I prefer the bungalow arrangement to any other; I +like to feel the house all round me, close and cosy, and to be able to +slip from my bed into the open air when I like, and not to be cut off +from folks when I am ill. For more than twenty years I was accustomed +to it, sleeping with open windows and unlocked doors, like any Bedouin +in his tent, unmolested in the loneliest localities by night-prowling +man or beast. I miss this now, when I live in town and have to climb +stairs and isolate myself--or sleep with shut windows (which I never +will) in a ground-floor fortress, made burglar-proof at every point. + +Bishop and Mrs. Perry had a dinner-party for us on Monday. That day +was otherwise given to our particular ship friend (of whom I shall say +more presently); with him, a stranger in the land like ourselves, we +had adventures and excursions "on our own," eluding the many kind folk +who would have liked to play courier. We lunched plentifully at an +excellent restaurant--I cannot identify it now, but it fixed our +impression that we had indeed come to a land of milk and honey--and +then rambled at large. The evening was very pleasant. Whether as host +or guest, the first Bishop of Melbourne was always perfect, and we met +some interesting people at his board. Others came in after dinner, +amongst them two of the "sweetly pretty daughters," of whom we had +heard in England, and who did not quite come up to our expectations. +They are hoary-headed maiden ladies now--the youngest as white as the +muslin of the frock she wore that night. + +We did many things during the remainder of the week, which was full of +business, pleasure, and hospitalities, very little of our time being +spent in privacy. The shops were surprisingly well furnished and +tempting, and we acted upon our supposition that we should find none +to speak of in the Bush. We made careful little purchases from day to +day. The very first of them, I think, was Professor Halford's +snake-bite cure. We had an idea that, once out of the city, our lives +would not be safe without it for a day. It was a hypodermic syringe +and bottle of stuff, done up in a neat pocket-case. That case did +cumber pockets for a time, but it was never opened, and eventually +went astray and was no more seen--or missed. Yet snakes were quite +common objects of the country then. I used to get weary of the +monotony of sitting my horse and holding G.'s, while at every mile or +so he stopped to kill one, during our Bush-rides in warm weather. +English readers should know that in the Bush it has ever been a point +of honour, by no means to be evaded, to kill every snake you see, if +possible, no matter how difficult the job, nor how great your +impatience to be after other jobs. That probably is why they are so +infrequent now that any chance appearance of the creature is +chronicled in the papers as news. + +Another early purchase was a couple of large pine-apples, at +threepence a-piece. We each ate one (surreptitiously, in a retired +spot), and realised one of the ambitions of our lives--to get enough +of that delicacy for once. + +On Saturday the 24th, the eighth day from our arrival, we turned our +backs upon all this wild dissipation and our faces towards stern duty. +We left Melbourne for the Bush. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE BUSH + + +It was not quite bush, to start with, because we travelled by railway +to our immediate destination, and that was a substantial township set +amongst substantial farms and stations, intersected by made roads. But +on the way we had samples of typical country, between one +stopping-place and another. First, there were the ugly, stony plains, +with their far-apart stone fences, formed by simply piling the brown +boulders, bound together by their own weight only, into walls of the +required height. This dreary country represented valuable estates, and +remains of the same aspect and in the hands of the same families, I +believe, still. Gradually these stone-strewn levels merged into +greener and softer country, which grew the gum-trees we had heard so +much of; and presently we came to closely-folded, densely-forested +hills, the "Dividing Range"--a locality to be afterwards associated +with many charming memories--where snow and cloud-mists enwrapped one +in winter, and from which the distant panorama of the low-lying +capital and the sea was lovely on a clear day. But it was like eating +one's first olive, that first acquaintance with Bush scenery; we had +not got the taste of it. I cannot remember that we admired anything. +Rather, an impression remains--the only one that does remain--of a +cheerless effect upon our minds. Perhaps the weather had changed. + +There was no lack of cheer in the welcome awaiting us at our journey's +end. Our clergyman-host met us on the railway platform with the face +of a father greeting children home from school. There was a cab +waiting, into which our traps were thrown, but we preferred to walk up +to the parsonage through the streets of the clean little town, that we +might study its unexpected points and see how enterprising and +civilised the Bush could be. The parson's wife, aged twenty-one and +four years married, received us on the doorstep of the cheerful house, +and at once we were as perfectly at home in it as in our own. That was +the way with all Australian houses, we found. + +Sunday was certainly wet. The two parsons drove out to a Bush service +in the afternoon, and we their wives had a bad quarter of an hour +listening to the bell ringing for the evening one, while yet there was +no sign of their return who had promised to be back for tea; the boggy +roads and swollen water-courses so delayed them that it was on the +stroke of church time ere they turned up. But next day the sun shone +again, and we were taken for a drive over macadamised roads and shown +things that corrected our opinion of Bush scenery. And that day, +neighbouring clergymen, Sunday off their minds, came to make our +acquaintance, all full of information and advice for us, all eager +themselves for news from the "Old Country." Mrs C. gave them +shakedowns on sofas and floor, to which they repaired at disgraceful +hours of the night, because they could not stop talking. Where is that +party now?--the merriest clerical party I was ever in. The host, our +friend from that day, and godfather to one of our sons, was made a +bishop, and died but a few months ago; his merry wife is a +broken-hearted widow, crippled with neuritis. One of the guests, in +after years still more intimately dear, became an archdeacon, and is +now dead also. Two others are past work, resting in retirement until +the end comes. We, the youngest of the group, bar one, are beginning +to realise that the evening for us also is drawing on. + +It was here, by the way, that we had news of the commencement of the +war between France and Prussia. It came by the monthly mail-boat, +which was our one channel of communication with the world. This budget +gave texts for the discussions that are so memorable for their +vivacity and charm. A great day was mail-day in those times. Looking +back, I cannot remember that we fretted much over our four blank +weeks, during which the most awful and personally serious things might +happen without our knowing it; but I do remember that when we got the +cable many of us grumbled because it took away the interest of +mail-day, which became to us as a novel of which we know the ending +before we begin to read it. + +Holiday travels ended on the last day of August. That night we started +for the up-country post to which G. had been appointed, and where he +was expected to begin his duties on the following Sunday. August 31st +was a Wednesday, and therefore ample time seemed to have been allowed +for a journey from Melbourne which the daily coach accomplished in +less than a couple of days (and which is now done by the Sydney +express in four hours). However, "the year of the great flood" was +already making its reputation. Bridges and culverts had been washed +away, and the coach-road was reported impassable for ladies. Men could +wade and swim, assist to push the vehicle and extricate it from +bogs--they were expected to do so--but the authorities in Melbourne +advised my husband that the conditions were too rough for me. +Consequently we took a round-about route, whereby it was still +reckoned that we should get to our destination before Sunday. + +The C.'s saw us off during the afternoon--not back to town, but on by +the railway which ended at the Murray. We were passed on from friend +to friend until a group of kind men--whom I never saw before or since, +but shall never forget--established us on board the little Murray +streamer which was to be our home till Saturday. It was the mild +spring night of that part of the colony, which embraces so many +climates; and I can see now, in my mind's eye, the swirl of the +brimming river that so soon after overflowed the town; the lights of +the wharf and the boat, which spangled the dark sky and water with +sparks from its wood-fed furnace; the generally romantic +picturesqueness of a scene--one of a sensational series--which +indelibly impressed itself upon me, an imaginative young person seeing +the world for the first time. + +I can only with an effort remember how uncomfortable that boat was; +when I think of it at all, my mind fills with recollections of the +deeply interesting experiences that came to me by its means. On that +flooded river--so flooded that its bed, for the greater part of the +way, was marked by no banks, but only its bordering trees--I saw +blacks in native costume, the now rare kangaroo and emu in flocks; +black swans, white ibises, grey cranes; the iguana running up a tree, +the dear laughing jackass in his glory; all the notorious +characteristics of the country, and many more undreamed of. Most +distinctly do I remember, the unceasing chorus of the frogs, and the +solemn-sounding echo of the steamer's puffs and pants through the +solitary gum-forests, especially at night. But we soon had to leave +off travelling at night, on account of the many foreign bodies that +the flood was whirling down--the débris of houses and bridges, trees, +stacks, all sorts of things. Indeed, even in daylight the navigation +of the turbulent stream was a most risky business. + +Consternation fell upon us when Saturday morning came, and we were +informed that there was small chance of completing the passage that +day. This meant being stranded in a strange township, at some possibly +low public-house, on Sunday, when the coach of our last stage would +not be running, and the breaking of an engagement that was considered +of immense importance. + +"What shall we do?" we asked ourselves, and the question was overheard +by fellow-passengers, anxious, as everybody was, to help us. + +"It's a pity you can't cut across," said one. "From here to W---- is +no distance as the crow flies." + +Compared with the bow-loop we were making, it was no distance--a few +hours' drive, with normal roads and weather; and just then the steamer +stopped to take in cargo from a lonely shed, near which we perceived a +cart, a grazing horse, and a man, evidently belonging to each other, +and on the right (Victorian) side of the stream. + +"Would it be possible," one of us suggested, "to hire that cart and +cut across?" + +G. went to try, while I leaned over the boat's rail and anxiously +watched the negotiations. They were successful, and we hurriedly +collected our wraps and bags, our heavy luggage was put ashore, and +the steamer passed on and vanished round the next bend of the river, +which was all bends, leaving us on the bank--in the real Bush for the +first time, and delighted with the situation. The man with the cart +had guaranteed to get us home before nightfall. + +We climbed over our boxes, which filled the body of the vehicle, +settled ourselves upon them as comfortably as their angles permitted, +and started merrily on our way. It was the morning of the day, of the +season, of the Australian year, of our two lives; and I could never +lose the memory of my sensations in that vernal hour. I can sniff now +the delicious air, rain-washed to more than even its accustomed +purity, the scents of gum and wattle and fresh-springing grass, the +atmosphere of untainted Nature and the free wilds. I can see the vast +flocks of screaming cockatoos and parrots of all colours that darted +about our path--how wonderful and romantic I thought them! And what +years it is since the wild parrot has shown himself to me in any +number or variety! Like the once ubiquitous 'possum, he seems a +vanishing race--at any rate, in this state. I suppose they still have +sanctuary in the larger and less settled ones. I hope so. + +However, we were not far on this promising journey when troubles +began. The rain returned, and settled to a solid downpour, that +increased to a deluge as the day wore on. The Bush track became softer +and softer, stickier and stickier, the dreadful bogs of its deeper +parts more and more difficult of negotiation by the poor overweighted, +willing horse, whose strength, as we soon saw, was unequal to the task +before him. He got on fairly well until after the noonday halt, when +he was rubbed down and fed--when we also were fed by a poor selector's +wife at whose hut (in the absence of hotels) we solicited food, and +who gave us all she had, bread and cream, as much as we could eat, and +then refused to take a penny for it. But starting again, with rain +heavier than before, the poor beast's struggles to do his hopeless +best became more than I could bear. When I had seen him scramble +through three or four bogs that sucked him down like quicksands, and +it seemed that he must burst his heart in the effort to get out of +them, I stopped the cart and said I would walk. My weight might not be +much, but such as it was he should be relieved of it. G. also walked, +but as he was needed to help the driver I left him and was soon far +ahead, intending to give this negative aid to the expedition as long +as I could find my way. + +I had been told to "follow the track," and I followed it for miles. +The Bush was drowned in rain, so that I had to jump pools, and climb +logs and branches, and get round swamps, in such a way that I felt it +every minute more impossible to retrace my steps. I carried an +umbrella, but I was wet to the skin. I was quite composed, however, +except for my distress on account of the poor horse, whose master's +voice and whip I could hear in the distance behind me from time to +time; and I was not at all alarmed. I had prepared myself for the +savageness of a savage country. I imagined that this was the sort of +thing I should have to get accustomed to. Now and then I sat down to +recover breath and to wring my sopping skirts, and to wait for the +sound of the cart advancing, after the frequent silences that +betokened bogs. + +By the way, I hear nothing nowadays of those bogs which, in their +various forms, made our winter drives so exciting--the "glue-pots," +the "rotten grounds," the "spue-holes," worst of all, indicated by a +little bubble-up of clayey mud that you could cover with a +handkerchief, but which, if a horse stepped on it, would take his leg +to the knee, or to any depth that it would go without breaking. "Made" +roads and drainage-works seem to have done away with them this long +time, for the other day I met a resident of the locality who did not +know, until I told him, what a spue-hole was. + +At last it was all silence. I waited for the cart, and it did not +come. I called--there was no answer. At the end of an hour--it may +have been two or three hours--the situation was the same. What had +happened was that the horse was at last in a bog that he could not get +out of, and that bog was miles away. I could not go back to see what +had happened. I did not know where I was. I conjectured that I had +turned off the track somewhere, and that my husband was travelling +away from me; that I was lost in the Bush, where I might never be +found again--where I should have to spend the night alone, at any +rate, in the horrible solitude and darkness and the drenching rain. + +Appropriately, in this extremity, and just as dusk was closing in, I +heard a splashing and a crashing, and my knight appeared--one of +those fine, burly, bearded squatter-men who were not only the backbone +of their young country, but everything else that was sound and strong. +He drew rein in amazement; I rose from my log and stood before him in +the deepest confusion. Finally I explained my plight, and in two +minutes all trouble was over. Bidding me stay where I was for a short +time longer, he galloped away, and presently returned in a buggy +loaded with rugs and wraps, and bore me off to his house somewhere +near, telling me that he would return again for my husband, and had +sent men to the rescue of the cart and horse, now so buried in the bog +that not much more than his head and neck were visible. + +Ah, those dear Bush-houses--so homely, so cosy, so hospitable, so +picturesque--and now so rare! At least a dozen present themselves to +my mind when I try to recall a perfect type, and this one amongst the +first, although I never was in it after that night. They were always a +nest of buildings that had grown one at a time, the house-father +having been his own architect, with no design but to make his family +comfortable, and to increase their comfort as his means allowed. And +this must have been the golden prime of the squatter class in +Victoria, for the free selector had but lately been let loose upon his +lands, and the consequent ruin that he prognosticated had not visibly +touched him. In the early stages of home-making, his home-life had +been rough enough; but there was no roughness in it now, although +there was plenty of work, and although the refinements about him were +all in keeping with his hardy manliness, his simplicity, and sincerity +of character. I used to be much struck by the contrast of his +cherished "imported" furniture with its homely setting--the cheval +glass and the mahogany wardrobe on the perhaps bare, dark-grey +hardwood floor--incongruities of that sort, which somehow always +seemed in taste. Never have I known greater luxury of toilet +appointments than in some of those hut-like dwellings. In the humblest +of them the bed stood always ready for the casual guest, a clean brush +and comb on the dressing-table, and easy house-slippers under it. And +then the paper-covered canvas walls used to belly out and in with the +wind that puffed behind them; opossums used to get in under the roof +and run over the canvas ceilings, which sagged under their weight, +showing the impression of their little feet and of the round of their +bodies where they sat down. + +The country-houses become more and more Europeanised, year by year. +The inward ordering matches the outward architecture, and, although +Australian hospitality has survived the homes that were its +birthplaces, one hesitates to present one's self as an uninvited guest +at the door with the electric bell and the white-capped maid, who +asks, "What name, sir?" when you inquire if the family are at home. +There is an off-chance that you may be unwelcome, or, at any rate +inopportune, whereas it was impossible to imagine such a thing in what +we now lovingly call "the old days." + +I came in, an utter stranger, out of the dark night and that wet and +boggy wilderness, weary and without a dry stitch on me, to such a +scene, such a welcome, as I could not forget in a dozen lifetimes. The +door had been flung wide on the approach of the buggy, and I was +lifted down into the light that poured from it, and passed straight +into what appeared to be the living room of the family, possibly +their only one. The glorious log fire of the country--the most +beautiful piece of house-furniture in the world--blazed on the snowy +white-washed hearth, filling every nook with warmth and comfort; and +the young mistress, a new-made mother just up from her bed, in a smart +loose garment that would now be called a tea-gown, came forward from +her armchair to greet me as if I had been her sister, at the least. +The table was spread for the dinner, to which the husband had been +riding home when I encountered and delayed him; and what a feature of +the charming picture it was! I remember the delicious boiled chicken +and mutton curry that were presently set upon it, and how I enjoyed +them. But first I was taken into an inner bedroom, to another glowing +fire, around which were grouped a warm bath ready to step into, soft +hot towels, sponge and soap, and a complete set of my hostess's best +clothes, from a handsome black silk dress to shoes and stockings and a +pocket-handkerchief. In these I dined, and, retiring early, as she had +to do, found a smart nightgown, dressing-gown, and slippers toasting +by my fire. And I sank to rest between fine linen sheets, and slept +like a top until crowing cocks, within a few feet of me, proclaimed +the break of day. + +That day was Sunday, and G. had to preach at morning service some +eight or nine miles away. So we were early seated at a good breakfast, +and a light buggy and a pair of strong, fast horses were brought +round, to take us in good time to our destination. Our host himself +drove us, and incidentally taught us what Bush driving meant. I +remember how we made new roads for ourselves on the spur of the moment +to avoid bogs, and how gamely we battled through those that were +unavoidable; how we flew over the treacherous green levels that the +expert eye recognised as "rotten," where, had the horses been allowed +to pause for a moment, they would have sunk and stuck; and how finally +we dashed in style into the township and up to the parsonage-gate, +where a venerable archdeacon was anxiously looking for the curate whom +he had almost given up for lost. The church-bell had not yet begun to +ring. In fact, the family were still at breakfast when we arrived. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE FIRST HOME + + +We had to wait in lodgings for a few weeks, during which time we made +acquaintance with the place and people. + +Our lodgings were very comfortable. Sitting-room and bedroom, with a +door between, our other door opening upon a big plot of virgin bush, +alive with magpies, whose exquisite carolling in the early hours of +the day is the thing that I remember best. There is no bird-song in +the world so fresh and cheery. I seldom hear it now, but when I do I +am back again, in imagination, at breakfast near that open door, +drinking in the sweetness of the lovely September mornings which were +the morning of my life. Never had I known such air and sunshine, or +such health to enjoy them; and never do I feel so much an Australian +as when I go to the Bush again and am welcomed by that fluty note. The +spirit of happy youth is in it, and of those "good old times" which we +old colonists have so many reasons to regret to-day. No song of +English nightingale could strike deeper to my heart. + +Speaking of breakfast reminds me of the luxury we lived in, in respect +of food. Never was such a land of plenty as this was then, when no one +dreamed of butter and beef at what is their market rate this day. We +had young appetites, in fine order after the sea-voyage, and the more +we ate the better was our landlady pleased. It hurt her as a hostess +and housewife to have any dish neglected. And she simply stuffed us +with good things; the meal prepared for us two might have served +half-a-dozen, and given bilious attacks to all. One mistake only did +she make in the arrangement of her bill of fare--she gave us too many +quinces; apparently they were a superfluity in her garden, as they +have since been in nearly all of ours. At first they were a novel and +welcome delicacy, but when we had had them at every meal for weeks--in +jam, jelly, tart, pudding, and pie, with cream, with custard, with +bread and butter, and inlaid in sandwich cake--we were so thoroughly +sickened of them that neither of us have wanted to look at a quince +since. We have given the fruit away in sacksful to our neighbours, +season after season, all these thirty years, and not cooked one; just +lately--tempted by a brilliant carbuncle-hued jelly presented to me by +a gifted little cook in my family--I have suddenly re-acquired a taste +for it (which G. says will never happen to him), and now for the first +time we have no quinces in the garden. That is to say, we have +quinces--as also pears and almonds and other fruits--but the thieving +little town-boys that live around us steal everything before it is fit +to pluck. And I may here add, in regard to this sad fact, that when we +came to our town-house we found a notice-board up in the +orchard-paddock at the back, offering a reward of Ł5 for the +apprehension of "trespassers upon these premises." While it remained +up, there was always a policeman outside the fence. It was the joy of +our own school-boys to bamboozle him by scaling the fence at night or +in some surreptitious manner, pretending to be trespassers, and only +when they had given him all the trouble and satisfaction of +apprehending them, revealing their identity as sons of the house. But +I could not bear this board--such an anomaly in the colony, as I had +known it; I thought it horrible in any case, but on a clergyman's land +quite scandalous; and I did not rest until it was taken down. Now I +understand the meaning of it. No sooner was it gone than the policeman +disappeared for ever. And the thieving boys took, and keep, possession +of the place--at any rate, of the fruit; and of the flowers when they +fancy them, as occasionally they do. The fowls are locked up in their +house at night, and could defend themselves with audible squawks in +day-time. The back gate is also locked. But those young villains make +their own gates; they breach the defences by simply tearing down a few +palings, and pass through the hole. We mend it up, or hire a man to +mend it--more than the Ł5 of the reward must have gone in this +way--and next night they break it open again, or make another in an +easier place. Then quite calmly, and boldly they come in and out, sit +in the rifled and broken tree or on the top of the fence to munch +their spoil and "cheek" the poor maid who goes out to expostulate; +and, the once zealous policeman steadily holding aloof (he has been +appealed to for succour a dozen times in vain), we have no redress, +except when we take the law into our own hands, which is an +unprofitable proceeding. One of my ex-schoolboys administers justice +occasionally, in a fashion to bring irate parents, and threats of +summonses for assault about his ears, but he cannot be in two places +at once, and his long absences from this place are calculated upon. As +for Bob, the current house-dog, a fox-terrier of some intelligence, +he behaves like a perfect idiot in this case. He will bark furiously +at the boys when ordered to do so, but will neither initiate the chase +nor follow it up with effective action. My idea is that he takes them +for permanent members of the establishment. Or "boys will be boys," he +thinks. Or he has seen me bribe them to come and ask for fruit, +instead of stealing it. Anyway the result is that we have no fruit for +ourselves. Year after year we see our trees blossom and the young crop +set and swell, knowing we shall gather no harvest beyond a few hard, +half-grown pears, which can be stewed soft. If I want to make quince +jelly, as now I do, I must buy the quinces. + +But in the country there were no thieves--no locks and bars in use--no +need for the policeman. The only raiders of the orchards were the +birds, who had the right to tax us. + +That town of W----, where we spent the first year of our Australian +life, was a typical country-town of the better class, and at that +period very lively and prosperous. The railway afterwards drained it +of much of its local importance, which has only revived again in quite +recent times--since the fat lands about it have become studded with +dairy-farms and butter and tobacco factories, industries and +population which have contrived to hold their own here and there +against the crushing discouragements to which both are subjected. +Within the last few months it has been made the seat of a bishopric. + +We found a highly-civilised society. The police magistrate at the head +of it--always a P.M. was at the head in those days, in the +country-towns big enough to have one, and not only by virtue of his +official standing, but by every right of personal character and +culture, as a rule--was a (to me) surprisingly well bred as well as +kindly gentleman; and his wife was as nice as he. They gave bright +evening-parties, at which he played the flute with a delicate skill, +and he read largely and liked to talk of what he read; also he was an +exemplary husband and father. In the group of pleasant households his +was one of the most serenely pleasant, and so we felt it deeply when +one morning, a few months after our arrival, the news of his sudden +death was brought to us. He had risen that morning apparently in his +usual health, and was in his dressing-room, making his toilet and +chatting with his wife through the open door between them--she with a +baby a week or so old--when she heard him fall; he did not answer her +call to know what was the matter, and when she went to see she found +him dead upon the floor. The catastrophe left her with six little ones +to provide for, and next to nothing to do it with. The good husband +and father, taken without warning in his prime (of unsuspected heart +disease), had begun to make provision for the rainy day, but not +completed the task. However, with pupils and boarders and what not, +she made a splendid fight of it. The baby son did not long survive his +father, but the five daughters grew up to testify to her good +mothering and to reward her for it. They are now good mothers in their +turn, sharing her society between them. + +Next to the P.M. in the social scale came the doctors. There were two, +English gentlemen both. One had emigrated for adventure and the +goldfields, and spent good years seeking his fortune by short cuts, +but had been glad at last to return to his profession for a living. +He was courting a girl of exactly half his age when we came upon the +scene, and their wedding was the first smart function that we +attended. The other doctor and his wife were new arrivals from home, +like ourselves; they had landed but a month or two before us; and they +were our special and best-beloved companions and friends. Alas! he +too--one of the most delightful of men--died suddenly and dreadfully, +shortly before the death of the P.M., also leaving six mere babies and +a wife to whom he was perfectly devoted, as she to him. She came to +stay with me after the funeral, and the almost simultaneous birth of +my first child--the latter event hastened, it was thought, by the +shock and grief that I had shared with her. She was the most uncommon +woman I ever met, as she was one of the most adorable. Superficially, +both in face and figure, with the exception of her beautiful hands, +she was quite plain, and absolutely without trace of conscious +fascination or coquetry--the only instance I have known of a woman of +that sort being irresistible to every man she came across. The story +of her engagement, as told me by her husband, was exactly appropriate +to them both. He was leaving England for a foreign appointment, with +but a few days to spare, when a friend or relative--a high church +dignitary--wrote to beg a farewell visit, mentioning by way of special +inducement that a charming girl was staying in the house. The doctor +responded by falling in love with her on sight, in such a desperate +and successful manner that she married him within those few spare days +and accompanied him to his foreign appointment. Perfect love and bliss +had been their portion ever since; it was an ideal union. They had the +habit of driving up to our door, just as we were finishing dinner, +and calling us, one or both, to come out with them. The country was +new to us all, and we spent many of the evenings of our first summer +exploring it together. We made common cause as new chums, although +they were such citizens of the world as to feel at home anywhere. Even +the little ones in the nursery could put us to shame in respect of +their cosmopolitan experience. It filled me with envy to hear them +chattering their pretty baby French to their Swiss nurse. The mother +married again some years afterwards. And not a man of her acquaintance +but felt and said--as my own husband did--that the not-too-well-off +bachelor who saddled himself with the almost penniless widow and her +six children did by that act the best day's work for himself that he +had ever done or was likely to do. He, we have been told (for it is +many a year since she drifted out of our reach), followed the example +of his predecessor in marital behaviour--waiting on her hand and foot, +writing her letters and packing her trunks to save her trouble, and +generally worshipping the ground she walked on. That also is +considered matter of course. But I wonder how it is with her now? She +is living still, I hear. And she is considerably older than I am. + +Next to the doctors, the bankers--_i.e._, the officials of the four or +five banks which have branches in every town of any importance. The +managers are handsomely housed, and live in the best Bush-town style; +they are really the backbone of country society, it being to the +interest of their employers that they should be popular with their +constituents, as well as to a man's own interest to make life pleasant +in a place where he may be settled for many years. The smart young +bank clerks are the natural complement of the young Bush-town ladies, +whose brothers always go away; the clerks will be managers in time, +and meanwhile are essential to the upkeep of tennis clubs and the +success of balls and picnics. In W----, in 1870-1, the bank people +were of very good quality--one household in particular, the heads of +which belonged to two substantial colonial families of high repute +(which they still enjoy); the lady here was a charming woman and +hostess, famous in local circles for her pleasant parties, for which I +frequently needed the evening dresses that I had supposed would be +superfluous. Indeed, with one thing and another, I was gayer in that +first year of "missionary" life than I had ever been in England. + +There were bazaars and church teas and such things--quite as exciting +as the private functions--at which our circle of friends and +acquaintances was augmented by the leading tradesfolk, between whose +class and that conventionally supposed to be above them the line of +demarcation is always very thin, sometimes scarcely perceptible--and +properly so, in these isolated communities. I keep in affectionate +remembrance the wife of a stationer who was like a mother to me, the +wife of a general storekeeper who often sat with me when I was lonely +and needed looking after, and the wife of a chemist with whom I was in +particular sympathy at the time. We sewed baby-clothes together, she +and I, and the wearers of them arrived in this world within an hour of +each other. My beloved first-born died at five years old; his +birth-mate at about twelve, I think. The gate by which he went seemed +awful enough, but the passing of the poor little girl was too dreadful +for words. She was coming home from a visit one day in the charge of a +friend: the creeks were flooded that they had to cross, and one of +them swept away horse and buggy, and drowned the driver. He hooked his +little companion to a branch or snag sticking out of the swirl, before +leaving her, as it was supposed, to swim ashore for help; there she +clung through the whole of the long night, from early evening to +daylight next morning, and was then found--warm, the breath just gone, +not more, the doctor said, than a few minutes too late. And there were +people living about the spot who testified that they had heard her +crying in the night, without knowing what the sound meant! + +And as for the cottage people--the marked thing about them was that +they were not "the poor." There was none with whom a clergyman or his +wife could safely take the liberties so customary at home. When a +sister-in-law, once my fellow district-visitor, came out to be our +guest for awhile, and started to make herself useful by teaching our +parishioners their duty on the traditional lines and by bestowing +doles of old clothes and kitchen scraps upon them, she got some +tremendous surprises--"insolence" that simply staggered her. No, what +they loved was to bring us little presents of new-laid eggs or poultry +or what not, and to charge us less than they charged the laity for +what they did for us in the way of business. The whole attitude of +parishes and lay people in this country towards their spiritual +pastors is benevolent to a degree. The parental spirit, tolerant, +indulgent, making allowances (in more senses than one), is here on +their side. The schools teach their children for half fees; the +doctors doctor them for no fees at all; the very shipping +companies--some, at least--make special fares for them. And so long as +they accept this rôle of the lame dog that needs helping over the +stile, so long will there be that tinge of contempt and patronage +which embitters these favours to some of us who receive them. + +Coming straight from our dignified Cathedral life, with its high and +mighty Church-and-State traditions, into this democratic +Salem-Chapel-like atmosphere, we still found nothing to disagree with +us--only one circumstance excepted, for which neither the country nor +the parish was to blame. Pure loving-kindness and open-armed +hospitality to strangers surrounded us on all sides but one, and the +unexpected welcome went to our young hearts. The single disappointment +came from a quarter whence it was least expected. But, as to that, +bygones may be bygones at this time of day. I shall not tell tales. + +The absorbing joy, to start with, was the making of the first home. +The town was so well filled that it was a difficult matter to find a +house; we took the first possible one that offered, after waiting +several weeks for it. + +A large railway station now stands, and for many years has stood, upon +the site. Walking about the Bush in the vicinity, we used to find here +and there in the ground small pegs which we were informed were the +surveyors' marks for the line--the line which now runs all the way to +Sydney, and thence to Brisbane, but which was then but beginning to be +made. + +The spot was quite on the outskirts of the township, and we passed +from our premises straight into the Bush behind the house, which faced +some open waste ground, analogous to an English common of unusual +size, which divided us from streets and church. House, do I call it! +Three tiny rooms, opening one into the other, the first into the +outer air, a lean-to at the back, and a detached kitchen--that was +all. We paid one pound a week for it, which certainly was an excessive +rent for such a place. Excessive also were the wages we gave our first +servant, an amiable but inefficient Irish girl--fifteen shillings a +week. We were told that these were the ruling rates; if they were, +they did not long remain so. + +The landlord papered the front rooms for us--for those to be occupied +in day-time we chose from a local store an appropriate pattern of +brown _fleur-de-lys_ on a green ground; we papered the back ourselves. +I made the drugget and matting floor-coverings, the chintz curtains, +the dimity bed-furniture--made everything, in fact, that was sewable, +for, fortunately, I come of a long line of good needle-women. When I +remember the time-honoured theory that a writing person is no good for +anything else, I feel obliged, at the risk of appearing a braggart, to +parade the above fact. I take pride in announcing that I never hired a +sewing-woman--that, having made all my own clothes as a girl, even to +the wedding-gown, I made all my children's, until the boys grew beyond +their sailor suits, and the girl put her hair up. In fact, housework +has all along been the business of life; novels have been squeezed +into the odd times. It was many a long year before I had a +dress-maker's dress, or went to such lengths of luxury and +extravagance as to order carpets or curtains to be made for me. I have +even manufactured sofas, with G.'s assistance, he making the very +solid hardwood frames. We once had two beautiful ones, regular +Chesterfields, entirely home-made, in one of the several auction sales +that the distance between one home and the next have forced upon us; +there was quite a rush to buy them. Only when the purchasers attempted +to take them away, it was found almost impossible to lift them from +the ground. The feather bed that had cradled me on board ship--we had +two really, but the smaller one cradled servants for awhile--now took +its permanent place amongst the never-failing comforts of the house; I +broke it up into pillows and cushions, a few of which covered, like +charity, all the sins of amateur workmanship in our springless +couches. + +The room of our cottage that had the front door in it was the +sitting-room, of course. Here we dined in full view of the street--had +there been one--when summer evenings gave light enough; our doctor and +his wife, pulling up their horses before the house, could see for +themselves whether we were at the end of our meal or in the middle; I +would go out with an offer of pudding or coffee sometimes, but as a +rule I left everything and flew for hat and gloves. The room at the +other end was our bedroom. The little cubicle between combined +dressing-room and study. There was not space to swing a cat in any of +them, had we wanted to swing a cat. There certainly was no room to +swing the cradle, when that article of furniture was introduced; +fortunately, we did not want to swing that either. We did not believe +in rockers, and made a great virtue of necessity when we took them +off. + +But after all, humble as it was, it was a sweet little place when we +had fixed it up. Bishop and Mrs Perry, paying us their first call, +were enthusiastic about it. They had been making a long tour from +country parsonage to country parsonage, which, notwithstanding the +benevolence of parishioners, are as a rule struggling homes, "shabby +genteel," in their appointments; and this bright, simple, tidy +(though I say it that shouldn't) little toy dwelling was, to use their +own word, an "oasis" amongst them. One truth that I have learned from +my manifold domestic vicissitudes is that you can make a nice home out +of anything, if you choose to try. You do not really want all the +things that you are brought up to think you want. Sometimes it is even +a relief to be without them. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +DIK + + +All my recollections of the first home, and the one succeeding it, +embrace the figure of a friend who was virtually of the family while +we lived in them. He has so long been dead that I may with propriety +refer to him more fully than I can speak of his contemporaries yet +living, and it is a particular pleasure to do so in view of his +nationality and of the times in which I write. For he was a +Dutchman--and everything, almost, that a man should be. If he did no +good for himself in Australia--his birth and training were against +that--he did much for his country within the compass of his little +sphere. He gave some of us a faith in and a respect for it that +nothing in the South African struggle has been able to impair. I have +been British throughout the war to the marrow of my bones, but in the +worst of times have had to bear in mind that our veldt foe comes of +the stock which produced that perfect gentleman. I have not otherwise +compared them, but I can never think meanly of any Dutchman after +knowing him. + +He joined our ship in London, and during the voyage we noticed that he +was a lonely traveller, silent and sitting by himself. We therefore +made little overtures, thinking to cheer him for the moment, and not +foreseeing what they would lead to. G. played chess with him a good +deal; when I was well enough to join them I undertook the difficult +but interesting task of drawing him out of his shell, where his +thoughts were. Although we learned from him that a knowledge of the +English language was imperative in Holland amongst cultured people, it +needed friendship to cast out of him the fear of making himself +ridiculous by his manner of speaking it, which certainly was quaint. +Without protestations on either side, friendship was established, and +then he talked, and did not mind our laughing at him. We instructed +him in our idioms and customs, and he us in his; some of the Dutch +names for things that we learned from him are in domestic use to this +day. I cannot remember that he overcame his sensitive reserve in +respect of any other passenger, unless in the case of a childless +married lady who was accompanied by her pet cat and dog. Pussy lived +with her and her husband in their cabin, where the arrangements for +its accommodation, and the cat's own intelligent adaptation to them, +were so wonderful that it caused no annoyance either to them or us; +the dog, for whom a high passage fare had been paid, spent his nights +somewhere under the care of the butcher, but his days with his devoted +mistress. Dogs were a passion with our friend, and there was soon an +affectionate understanding between him and this one. He got permission +to give it lessons, and at stated times went off with it under his arm +to his own cabin, where they would be closeted together for an hour or +two. Not a sound would we hear of what went on, but at intervals there +was a public performance by the pupil, which, eye to eye with its +teacher, would go through tricks and evolutions that a circus dog +might envy. This was the only instance I can recall of social +intercourse on his part with anyone on board, save us. + +He was intensely proud, with a temper behind his pride that could +never be safely played with, even by his familiar housemates; life +itself was a trifle compared with any point of honour in his code--to +be given in its defence, if need were, without an instant's +hesitation; but there was not a trace of false pride in the whole warp +and woof of him. This, however, goes without saying, since I have +already said that he was at all points a gentleman. + +And, back of his reserve and pride, which wore so cold and stolid an +air, was a heart like a shut furnace. Rarely did the flame shine +through his grave eyes, but it did when the moment of threatened +parting came. "Tell me where you live," he said, as if asking for his +life; "I must live there." + +As soon as we knew, we told him, and a week after our arrival at W---- +he turned up, together with a pair of beautiful (and very expensive) +dogs. He boarded at the hotel, and came to us every day. And, so far +as Australia was concerned, we were his family, and our house his +home, thenceforth. + +His name was Diederik, which we shortened to Dik. His other name was +not undistinguished in his own country, as we learned from his family +photographs and the casual but complete evidence provided by the +conditions of our joint domestic life--not by direct statement from +him, the most modest of men. The picture of his home in Leyden showed +a beautiful old house on a tree-bordered canal; in this house, it +seemed, each member of the large family had his or her suite of rooms +and separate personal servant. "This is a brother of me," he would +say, as we turned over his album; and questions would elicit the fact +that the person indicated held a court appointment at the Hague. +Another "brother of me" filled an important post in the Dutch East +Indies; he was governor--kontroleur 1st klasse--of Riouw. Dik was a +younger son, born with that bent for wandering which is not confined +to any class or nation. And his equipment for the enterprise to which +he had committed himself was almost ludicrously elaborate. He had a +perfect arsenal of deadly weapons--for the native savages and wild +beasts, I suppose. Guns and small arms of all sorts and sizes, the +finest of their kind, with tons of ammunition to match, enough to +furnish forth a small regiment. I still have a stumpy little +six-chambered revolver, which he insisted on my keeping by me, in case +I should be molested while alone in the house; and I ought to have +also a beautiful inlaid hair-trigger pistol, which was the instrument +with which he taught me the art of self-defence. Daily he would call +me from my sewing or cooking to shoot bottles off the yard fence, +until my execution upon ounce phials satisfied him that I was able to +protect myself from the marauding black or bushranger. He had a +tool-chest which contained every tool, and large sets of most of them, +that handicraftsman could need under any circumstances--even to a +turning-lathe, with which, and a great hunk of ivory tusk, he used to +make me buttons and sleeve-studs. As for "hempjes" and such things, +they were in dozens upon dozens. And all that costly outfit to be so +soon disintegrated and dispersed! + +The first thing he did at W---- was to help us into our cottage, +himself inheriting our lodgings and the quinces from us. How useful he +was! Until I had a maid--the last piece of furniture procured--he was +up o' mornings to chop wood, draw water, boil kettles, and so on; and +all day he was on the look-out for a job, the more menial the better. +Tears, even now, are not far from my eyes when I open my old diary +upon such items as these:--"October 31st. Dik beginning to make a +garden for me." ... "December 7th. Dik up in the dark to catch fish +for breakfast." ... "December 8th. Dik up early again to get me fish." +Whenever he was at home this sort of thing went on, and all without +the slightest fuss or gush, and with a frown for thanks. When there +came the prospect of a most important domestic event, we had every +reason to flatter ourselves that he had not the dimmest notion of it, +from first to last. I made every scrap of baby-clothes myself, and he, +being so constantly with us, must have seen me doing it; in fact, I +abandoned the usual precautions just because he seemed too utterly +dense to notice anything. He was nothing of the sort. It was part of +his perfect gentlemanliness not by word or sign to show that he knew, +even in his private talks with my husband, otherwise the talk of +brothers. One evening he left for his lodgings, as usual, and the +great business was comfortably disposed of before the hour of his +return in the morning. G. and I, in the midst of our excitements, +found a moment to laugh together over the tremendous shock of surprise +that we were going to give him. But lo! when he came he manifested no +surprise--only quite broke down in trying to express his thankfulness +that it was safely over. He was brought in to peep at the new +arrival, and I felt like a scoffer at sacred things to have met with a +jest that smileless and speechless emotion. On leaving my room, he +dashed for his horse, tied to the front gate, and galloped off towards +the town; thence in a few minutes he returned, bearing as his offering +to the new master of the house a wicker cradle on the saddle before +him! He must have looked a ridiculous object, but was lifted above all +care for the opinion of the street. That was the cradle I had to wedge +into such a tight place that rockers were no use to it. Later it was +his joy to nurse the little one, to watch his first movements of +intelligence, and speculate as to what period "his nose would come +downstairs." + +I ought to mention here that his attitude towards women was one of +austerest respect and dignity. I shall never forget the blackness of +his brow and mood when we returned one night from a day's outing, +having left him to keep house for us. It appeared that our Irish maid +had taken advantage of the opportunity to make tender overtures to +him. She had come behind him as he was reading and smoking, stroked +his hair, and addressed him as a "poor feller." I was not supposed to +know anything of this, but got the tale from G., and was thus able to +take steps to prevent such assaults in future. To me, for whom he had +so deep a regard, Dik was a brother, without ever using a brother's +familiarities. No man ever treated me with such absolute reverence and +respect. + +Between the 30th of that first October, when he was making me a road +through the "common" that the continued rains had turned into a +swamp, and the 7th of December, when he went a-fishing for my +breakfast, he made a start upon his own Australian career--the bright +beginning that declined to so sad an end. By no fault of his, poor +boy! unless his breeding was his fault. He was young and +strong--immensely strong--the typical big-limbed, burly Dutchman, +eager to work and to rough it, afraid of nothing; he simply failed as +I have seen dozens of young men of good family fail--as they all do, +if I may judge by my own experience--who come out to make their +fortunes under the same conditions. Had he been a skilled mechanic, he +would have found his luck immediately; had he been prepared to pay his +premium as a "jackaroo"--_i.e._ an apprentice to the run-holder, who +charged Ł100 a year or so for imparting "colonial experience"--he +would have been taken into one of those delightful Bush-houses that I +have mentioned, and might have risen (without capital) to be a station +manager. But as an amateur who did not know the ropes, his ideas of +the situation gathered from books or evolved from his inner +consciousness, Dik fared as I shall describe. I give his case because, +in its way, it is so distinctly characteristic of the country, and as +such may be instructive to the English reader. + +Having received ourselves such extraordinary kindness and attentions +from the squatter families of our parish (hundreds of miles in area), +we thought it an easy thing to make interest for our friend; and so it +proved--to a certain extent, which did not go beyond the rough +regulations of the Bush, not yet grasped by such new chums as we. An +old squatter accepted our guarantee for Dik, and told us to send him +along. It was the busy shearing-season, when odd hands were required. +Joyfully we took home our news. Hopefully we borrowed a buggy, and +ourselves drove him to the house of that old squatter, nursing-father +that we imagined him. It was so far that we stayed the night, and we +thought it odd to lose sight of Dik as soon as we arrived, and not to +see him again to say good-bye; but we came away under the impression +that, when not out on the run, he would be treated by the house as it +treated us. + +He left W---- on the 10th of November. On the night of the 19th he +rode back, departing at dawn on the 21st, which means that he spent +Sunday, his free day, with us. He was invisible for a time, while G. +got him a bath and clean linen, and when he appeared he was taciturn +and depressed, loth to talk of his experiences, which had evidently +been a shock to him. Of course he had been sent to live at the "men's +hut" amongst the all-sorts that at shearing season crowd that +unsavoury abode. It was his place, but he had not known it; nor had +we; and I for one was furious at the outrage, as I considered it, that +had been put upon him. He had had fights, it appeared, with the lowest +of the low--possibly decent work fellows, who had not understood him; +he had come through personal foulnesses not to be mentioned in ladies' +company. G. told me all about it afterwards. + +On the 26th that job was done. He returned to us like a released +convict, and we made much of him for a time. This would not do, +however, and again he sought for employment. One night, in a fit of +desperation at the delay in finding it, he took a sudden resolution to +go out into the Bush, with a swag on his saddle, and ask for work from +station to station, resigned to the men's hut--to anything. I remember +my feelings as I saw him start in the moonlight, just before I went to +my own comfortable bed. He was going to ride all the cool night, and +take his rest in the fiery day; for it was December now, and horses +and dogs were as children to Dik. By the way, he left his dogs with us +while on these expeditions. Their puppy exuberance got us into many +scrapes, although I do not believe that all the tattered fowls brought +to us by our neighbours, with hints that we should make their +excessive value good, came by their deaths as we were told they did. +Otherwise the keep of the playful creatures cost little or nothing, +because they were fed mainly upon opossums. Nightly, after dinner, the +gun or guns were taken out, and I don't know which enjoyed the +expedition most, the sportsmen or the dogs. There were 'possums in +every tree in those days, and Dik and G. were both good marksmen. When +too dark to distinguish 'possum or gun-barrel, they tied a white +handkerchief round the muzzle of the latter and located the former +(already approximately located by the dogs) with the stable-lantern +usually held up by me. An artificial light not only fascinates but +paralyses the little animal, draws him like a magnet, and then holds +him rigid, his large, liquid eyes fixed upon it, so that he is as +steady to shoot at as a target at the butts. Under those circumstances +he seems completely indifferent to his shrieking enemies at the foot +of the tree, ready to tear him in pieces the moment his limp body +thuds down to them. Although our valuable pair flourished upon it, I +am horrified now to think of feeding dogs upon such meat. Well, we +could not do it now, if we wanted to. At that time 'possums were +vermin to the white man, pests of the fruit garden (though we never +found them eating fruit, but only leaves), like the parrots and +minahs, from whom nothing was sacred. Not that they could have +troubled us, for all the fruit we had was a double row of peach trees +down one side of our back paddock. We had peaches of the finest +quality literally in tons--and nothing else. In their season I would +peel the flannel jackets from half a dozen before breakfast, and go on +eating them at intervals all day (whereby I destroyed my taste for +peaches, as it had already been destroyed for quinces, for the rest of +my life); and the ground was so cumbered with them that we were +grateful to the neighbours who came with buckets and wheelbarrows to +get them for their pigs. The railway absorbed the peach trees with the +cottage, and I buy peaches at the door to-day at a shilling the +plateful. And the opossum seems in a fair way to become extinct--at +any rate, in this state. + +I still go, almost yearly, to rest from town life a a station in the +neighbourhood of W----. The house--one of the first English-style +houses in the district--is the same that it was thirty years ago, +except that its red walls are mellower and its girdle of choice trees +more grown and beautiful; and the dear family is the same, only the +young ones now the elders, and a new generation in their place. On a +late visit they drove me to W----, some eighteen or twenty miles +distant; strange to say, it was the first time I had been into the +town since those early days of which I am talking, although I had +passed it many times on the railway; and we started on our journey +home in a soft twilight, prelude to a clear, faintly-moonlit +night--such a night as, thirty years earlier, would have shown us an +opossum in nearly every tree we drove by. It was country road or +bush-track all the way, and "Now, surely," I said, "I shall have the +long-desired pleasure of seeing a 'possum again." I settled down into +my front seat of the waggonette, laid my head back, and watched and +watched for little ears sticking up, and bushy tails hanging down, +which I should have been so quick to distinguish if they had been +there. Not a hair--not a sign that a 'possum had ever lived in the +land--all those lonely miles! + +But a few nights afterwards I had my wish in rather a strange way. +Being sleepless, I lit a candle at twelve or one o'clock, and tried to +tranquillise myself with a book. The candle made a little halo about +the bed, but left the rest of the room dim. One window was wide open, +as I always had it; an armchair, with a cushion in its back, stood +near the window. I heard no sound, but suddenly had that curious +feeling of fright which precedes the discovery of the thing that +frightens you; and, looking up, I saw two eyes, terrifyingly intense +in their expression, glowing and glaring at me from the armchair. The +thing crouched upon the top of the cushion, quite still, as if it had +been there for hours. I thought it was a cat, and shooed and slapped +my book; when it made no response to these manifestations, I knew it +was an oppossum. The candle-light outside had lured him to its source, +and he now sat lost in contemplation of the magic flame. I got out of +bed and ran window-wards, in the greatest haste to be rid of the +creature I had so long wished to see; he crawled cringingly an inch or +two, but I had to push him with the edge of my book off the cushion +and the window-sill and out into the night. I could not imagine how he +had got in, for my room was in an upper storey of the tall old house, +the roof of the verandah some distance below; but, looking out in the +morning, I saw that a course of brickwork, just about wide enough for +a mouse, ran along the face of the wall, not far from the window, and +that a great white cedar tree stood close to one end of it. I boasted +at breakfast that I had seen a 'possum at last, but I am careful now, +when I sleep in that room, not to burn a midnight candle with the +window open. + +To return to Dik. On the 18th he came back to tell us he had found a +job. I do not remember what it was, but it is recorded in my diary +that we had a gala dinner in honour of it. He returned again before +breakfast on Christmas Day. G. had distant country services afternoon +and evening, and the three of us went together and made a picnic of +it, keeping our domestic festival for Boxing Day, in the night of +which Dik left us, while we slept. But on the 28th of January that job +also came to an end--not from any fault of his, but just because it +was a little one and he had finished it. The neighbourhood was +searched again, and he went work-hunting into New South Wales with no +success. He had long ago sold his horse, and now he began to sell his +other things--guns, tool-chest, lathe, non-essential clothes--throwing +them away one after the other, for a mere song, in spite of our +remonstrances. He left his lodgings for cheaper ones; later on we +persuaded him to exchange these for a shakedown with us; but he was +too proud to owe us bed and board, and only stayed in the brief +intervals between his futile tramps, when he knew we should be cut to +the heart if he did not. It came to broken boots and ever-increasing +shabbiness, to the shunning and slighting of him by persons who were +not worthy to be named in the same breath with him, to his growing +gaunt for want of sufficient food. "This in your hospitable +Australia!" the reader may exclaim. Yes, indeed; and he is not the +only one I have seen thus circumstanced, by many--only the others were +mostly getting their deserts, which he was not. + +One night a mysterious message was brought to G., who slipped out of +the house in answer to it. It transpired later that Dik was lurking in +the vicinity wanting to know if there were any letters for him. He had +sent word secretly to G., not wishing me to know, because he was "not +fit to see her any more." Of course, I was not going to stand that. We +dragged him in, gave him a bath and clothes, fed him and talked to +him--scolded him well, indeed, for his obstinate refusal to write to +his father, a course that we had urged upon him until we were tired of +the hopeless conflict with his preposterous pride. + +However, he melted at last--that very night, I think. His confession +was made and posted, and all we had to do was to hold on until the +answer arrived. As it chanced, the only serious accident that I can +remember happening to a P. and O. steamer on the Australian line +(prior to the wreck of the _China_) happened to the one that had his +money on board. Her letters were recovered from the sea-bed, but not +in time to be of use to us; so there was yet another long delay. But +eventually all came right. His empty pockets were filled once more, +and a new career provided for him. He was to go to his brother in the +Dutch East Indies, and become a planter of something. + +The change was so great and sudden that he did not all at once "know +how he had it with himself," to use his own phrase. He wrote to us +from Melbourne before he sailed (April 20th, 1872):--"You know me +enough for being a bad hand in making speeches. What I want to let you +feel is"--and he made a very touching one upon the subject of our +friendship for him. Then he mentioned his state of mind. "The time +passes quick away. At day-time I have plenty to do, and in the evening +I am in the opera, what makes me a little jolly, but yet there is a +kind of stupidity about me. I don't know what it is." From Galle he +wrote at length, and with his old ease, describing his voyage in +detail, and his fellow-passengers, of whom one was a wholesome +annoyance to him. "When you are talking with somebody he always will +put his nose between it, and the rest of the day he whistle tunes out +of operas." In Ceylon he made a sporting expedition into the country, +and "after you have seen so long the miserable Bush of Australia is +this beautiful." He had some delightful shooting, in spite of the fact +that, in consequence of having cut his feet against a "coral riff" +while swimming, "the only way I could go shooting was on a pair of +slippers." Then, with the Dutch mail from Singapore to Batavia:--"it +was very pleasant for me, as you understand, to hear the Dutch again. +Everything was so as it was at home, no more puddings on table, but +delicious vegetables, and the bitterjes like the home ones." And he +had once more that first thing necessary to a happy life, his dog; not +one of those mentioned, which remained with us, but a new one. On +landing at Batavia, "I give my hondtje a walk. This is a beautiful +creature, and came all the way good over. From Melbourne to Singapore +was it expensive. I had to pay five pounds for him." Here he met +Leyden friends, with whom he "passed the time jolly," and who led him +to a place where he "had to get a ticket to be able to stop in this +country;" and "the last days," he writes, "I feel me quite different, +more as I was at home, surely in better spirits as on our road to +Melbourne." + +His brother shepherded him for a short time--took him to a place or +two, from which, when they left, were "fired from shore canons"--but, +unfortunately, the resident was ordered home by his doctor, and Dik +was left once more to his own guidance. He presently reported himself +from Deli, where he was learning the business of a "nutmace" planter. +But his teacher, he was sorry to say, had turned out an "offel snob," +and he (Dik) had "little to make with him. I have my room and +everything I want and pay him monthly, and when he is in a bad humour +he can go his way and don't talk to him." When this gentleman "used +one of his rough expressions to me," wrote Dik, "I got offel angry"--I +can imagine it!--"and told him if he did so again he would know me +better. You understand a fellow who stand that in his own house what +he is. So you see I am not all right yet. But I am practising +patience, fine thing, but offel tiresome." Incidentally he remarks, "I +see you think I am sitting on Java, but am a good distance away from +there;" and he gives much interesting information about Dutch colonial +government and customs, which I have not space to reproduce. He wishes +he had an Australian horse again. "These little things I am tired of; +they are very pretty, but I am too heavy for them." He promises me a +tiger skin, and mentions the ever-to-be-regretted fact that he had +found "no occasion" to have his likeness taken. + +The next letter (Deli, March 20th, 1873) was all unclouded joy. He had +left "that fellow" and was now "as jolly as possible," settled down in +partnership with four other gentlemen of his own class, one Dutch and +three English--"so you see there is no fear I will forget my English +the first time." They had 250 "culies." "I have a field where 100 are +working, and go there and see them work every day, with Victor my dog, +named after Victoria ... so you see at last I come to a good place, +and hope to stick to this ... if I don't get along will be my own +fault." + +Glad indeed were we to read those words! We wrote to tell him so. And +the letter containing our congratulations came back to us long months +afterwards, with this message scrawled across the envelope:--"Dead. Mr +van K---- died in Deli." + +The last document of the little bundle from which these extracts are +taken is as graceful a piece of composition as was ever penned. The +handwriting is Dutch, but the words are English, and I have never read +an English letter that was more faultlessly expressed. It is his +family's acknowledgment of what we did--little enough, but made much +of in his home letters--for their beloved son, "to support his +energies in his days of trial." From this we learned that he had been +"seized with typhus fever, to which he succumbed on the 4th of June +1873, after ten or twelve days' illness." + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +THE SECOND HOME + + +On the 26th of July 1871 we moved into our second home--not more than +a mile or so from the first--Dik again helping us. The chance to get a +little more breathing-space and elbow-room, much needed since we had +become a family, fell to us through the death of our friend the police +magistrate. That sad event left his widow with means too small to +permit of her retaining her pretty home for a day after she was able +to leave it. We took it from her, and lived in it for about four +months--until G. was appointed to his first parish; after which our +house was provided for us, with no rent to pay any more. + +Distance lends enchantment to it, of course, but it is impossible that +"Como" could have been other than charming, with its then +surroundings. It had been the dwelling of two police magistrates, and +the first and longest occupier had made the place, while his wife had +been a gardener. My journal reeks of that garden. In the prime of the +spring season (October 12th) there is an entry which credits it with +"innumerable varieties of everything," including, naturally, "roses +all over the house" and "our own asparagus for dinner every other +day." The (even then) old house, masked with shrubs and hedges, +surrounded by beds and borders full of sweets, turned its face upon a +wooded paddock, through which a path led out to the road; the ground +behind fell steeply to the "lake" so ambitiously named--a large +backwater of the river, preserved by the landlord (who allowed only +himself and his tenant to shoot over it), and therefore the sanctuary +of native aquatic fowl. + +That lake was the region of romance to me. The sunrises out of its +mists and shimmers, the moonbeams on its breast at night, that I used +to step out upon the terrace-like verandah to feast upon--they are +pictures of memory that can never fade. Flocks of black swans used to +sail past the kitchen door within reach not of a stone, but of a +potatoe peeling; early and late the air was full of the quick beat and +rush of wings--wild duck in hundreds and thousands going out or coming +home. They quacked and scuffled in the thick reeds at night, as we +walked near them. The two sportsmen could not resist the temptation to +shoot more than we could eat. I have it down in my diary that on the +28th of July 1871 G. killed three teal with one shot. I saw it done, +and it was no great feat, seeing that the little birds were so thick +that their flight at the moment was like the flutter of silver cloth. +In that watery time the lake was generally brimming. One night we were +called up by the bellowing of the cow, and Dik and G. rode naked into +the inclosure where her calf had been submerged to its nose by a +sudden rise; they were only just in time to save it. We had a roomy +boat, in almost constant use. A friend or two would come out to dine, +and after dinner we would paddle them about in the moonlight--explore +the "North-West Passage," which reminded me of a "fleet" in the +Broads at home. We fished sometimes for next day's breakfast; I +believe they were catfish and other coarse things, but we seem to have +eaten them contentedly; I remember how we used to light a candle to +see to bait our hooks. And it was, of course, a very paradise for +'possums. So near the water they swarmed--water being no less +attractive to trees, which crowd upon it wherever they can find +footing. Under the trees around Como we and the dogs enjoyed such +'possum hunts as we never had elsewhere. It was mostly dark, and on +warm nights dangerous--though we never thought of that--snakes being +as partial to the water-side as 'possums and trees; many an one did we +encounter when looking for something else, and we have seen them +undulating in mid-stream like miniature sea-serpents. + +But a greater danger than snakes attended these expeditions, as we +discovered on a certain night (August 28th). The sportsmen were too +well trained to be careless with firearms, but when you carry them in +the dark through a thicket of saplings and stumps and prostrate logs, +accidents are liable to happen. On this night we were proceeding +Indian file, Dik leading, I next, G. protecting my rear, when Dik's +gun, carried muzzle down, touched an invisible snag, which jerked it +from his arm. In falling forward the trigger was struck or jagged with +sufficient force to explode the charge. I saw down the barrel as the +flame leaped out, apparently at my breast; and then we all stood still +for some seconds, expecting horrors. When nothing more happened, and +each was proved unhurt, we returned home very soberly, Dik himself +much shaken. I then went to my room, took off the thick shawl in which +I had wrapped myself against the night air, and held it up before a +light. It was riddled with little holes. I took it back to the +sitting-room, and spread it between Dik's eyes and the lamp, and made +some joke about his having tried to kill me. I never joked that way +again. He could not have felt it more deeply if he had really injured +me and done so on purpose. I don't think he ever got over it. + +It was at Como that I had my first private snake adventure. I was +giving my baby an airing in the garden when a call from the +maid-of-all-work sent me hurrying into the backyard. A deadly +six-footer (carefully measured afterwards) sat upon a few rings of its +tail near the wall of the little dairy--a most enticing place to +snakes--the rest of its body upreared to about the level of my waist, +its head, with the flickering tongue, distractedly darting to and fro. +I often worried about snakes when I could not see them; having this +one in the open before me, I was not in the least afraid of it. + +"You keep it there," said the girl--for there was no man on the place +at the time--"while I go and get the clothes' prop." + +For some minutes I stood within a few feet of it, the baby in my arms, +cutting it off from its lakeside lair; and it must have been my +formidable calmness which kept it from flinging itself upon me, as I +have seen other snakes do when thus desperately at bay, although they +will always wriggle out of a difficulty if a loop-hole is left to +them. We killed it with the clothes' prop and put it under an inverted +wash-tub, whence I proudly drew it in the evening when the doctor came +to dinner. I gave him the history of the execution, and he read me a +serious lecture. I promised him never to "hold up" a cornered snake +again. + +But if I let myself go with snake stories I shall not know where to +stop, so I will only tell one more, which has some features out of the +common. This snake lived in the church of G.'s first parish. Its hole +was visible to the congregation, and it used to show its head to them +in service time (during the sermon, probably) and make them nervous. +So it was sought to entice it to its destruction with saucers of milk. +The parson used to lay the bait over-night, and go to look for results +in the morning. Always the saucer was found empty, but for a long time +the snake was not found. At last he saw it coiled asleep upon the +white cloth laid over the chancel carpet, where the sun from the east +window poured warmly down upon it. So he hewed it in pieces before the +altar, as Samuel hewed Agag. + +What alarmed me much more, though with less cause, than snakes were +the blacks, which at that time wandered into one's life as they never +did afterwards. Some remnants of the river tribes remained about their +old haunts, apparently in their old state of independence. I had seen +them from the deck of the steamer, squatting on the banks in their +'possum skins, or fishing naked from a boat that was simply a sheet of +bark as torn from the tree; in W---- they trailed about the streets in +some of the garments of civilisation, grinning amiably at the white +residents, on the look-out for any trifles of tobacco or coppers that +a kindly eye might give hope of. They are hideous creatures, poor +things, and their attempts at European costume did not improve their +appearance. The most extraordinary human figure that I ever saw was a +black gin in a bird-cage crinoline. She had something else on, but not +much--only what would drape a small part of the lattice-work of steels +and tapes, through which her broad-footed spindle legs were visible, +strutting proudly. When I, being alone in the house, saw a black +fellow evidently making for it, I used to think of all the horrible +tales I had read in missionary magazines as a child, and wonder where +Dik's revolver was. He only wanted bacca, or an old rag of clothes, or +a penny, or a bit of meat--bacca first, always; and there was nothing +savage about him except his looks. Some of the stations in that +district made a point of protecting and showing kindness to the +blacks. On these they made their camps, and swarmed like the dogs +about the homesteads, bringing offerings of fish, and receiving all +sorts of indulgences in return. I visited at the one of those places +which was most notoriously benevolent in this direction. The gins +whose husbands had used the waddy to them used to come to the house to +have their wounds plastered; the nursing mothers got milk and other +privileges; some of the least lazy and dirty young ones were put into +the family's cast-off clothes and taken into a sort of service--given +little jobs of dish-washing and wood-chopping, for which they were +overpaid in such luxuries as they most valued. I was deeply interested +in seeing them at such close quarters, and studying their strange +habits and customs; it was a valuable and picturesque experience. But +there was not a lock or bolt on any door, and a half-witted black +woman who was a particular pet used to roam into my bedroom in the +middle of the night, to examine me, my baby, my clothes, my trinkets +on the dressing-table--which was too much of a good thing. When I +hinted as much to the hospitable family, they used to say easily, +"Oh, she's quite harmless." But I never could get used to it. After +leaving W---- I saw little more of these disinherited ones, until many +years later a few visited us in the Western District. These were +refugees or escapees from a neighbouring Mission Settlement. Theirs +was a tale of tyranny and injustice to melt a heart of stone. They had +been compelled to sing and pray without getting any remuneration for +it. "Not a farden!" said one black man, solemnly, with a dramatic lift +and fall of the hands. "Not a farden!" I remember wondering how he had +come by the phrase, since I do not recollect ever seeing a farthing in +this country. The Australian despises a coin so petty. He treats it as +though it were not in the currency. To be sure, the tradesman charges +elevenpence three-farthings for many things, but an odd farthing on +the total of his bill always becomes a halfpenny. + +It was while living at Como that I "went to town" for the first and +last time in many years. There is a gap in my diary where the +happenings of November and December (1871) should have included this, +but memory easily retains the correct impression of such a sharply-cut +event. + +We made the trip in a ramshackle little open buggy, consisting of a +floor and two movable seats--a most useful country vehicle, upon which +you could cart firewood or potatoes, when it was not wanted to cart +human beings. We took a girl friend with us (the baby was left with +the visiting sister-in-law), and our three portmanteaux; and one poor +horse managed the journey in four or five days. We jogged along +easily, as near the making railway as we could get, because the scrub +had been cleared from that track more or less; camping in the shade +at mid-day to lunch and rest the horse, and putting up for the night +in a convenient township, taking our chances in the way of hotel +accommodation, which was of all sorts. Rarely could we bring ourselves +to make full use of the beds provided for us; we slept, as a rule, +outside of them, in blankets of our own improvising. + +When not far from Melbourne we fell in, towards evening, with the most +ferocious thunder-storm of my experience--and that is saying a great +deal. All we could do was to get ourselves and the horse away from the +trees and the buggy, over the tyres and metal work of which the +lightning ran like lighted spirit, and then stand doggedly--the horse +with head and tail between his legs, we three tightly clasped +together, our faces turned inward and hidden--and silently endure +until the fury of the elements was past. When it was passed, and we +drove drenched and dripping to the nearest hotel, which fussed over us +with fires and hot drinks, it was found that my little portmanteau +(frocks folded close in those days) had been put into the buggy that +morning wrong side up. The deluging rain, running inside the flap, had +saturated all my best clothes! My wedding-dress was done for; my next +best gory all over with the dye from cerise ribbons that had lain next +it; muslins and laces a flimsy pulp. And the ruin was irremediable, +except in the case of the latter (I sent the two silks to be dyed +black, and they were returned after some months stiff and crackly, so +obviously dyed that they were no use as frocks again). Literally, I +had not a stitch to wear. My companion lent me clothes while my +travelling things were drying, and when I got to Melbourne I could +hardly put my nose out of doors. Instead of enjoying myself with my +friends, I had to scheme to hide myself from them--the only thing to +be done, since I could not afford to repair my losses on the spot. As +soon as G. had done his necessary business, we turned round and came +home again. + +We brought back with us the widow of that police magistrate who had +dropped dead in his dressing-room at Como, and her baby. And we had +the hottest of midsummer weather, and the fiercest of north winds. The +tracks were deep in dust like sea-shore sand; our faces were skinned +with the sun; we wilted on the hard buggy seats under our useless +umbrellas; the poor horse gave up, and had to be left by the way. But +all our concern was for the unfortunate infant. Whenever we came to +sheltered water we used to get down and lay him in; we carried bottles +of it with us to pour over him as we drove. We spent one night in a +red-hot corrugated-iron hotel, and his mother and I sat up through the +whole of it, taking turns at sponging him. He came through safely, +although she lost him afterwards--her only son. + +That abortive expedition was, as I have said, the last I made to +Melbourne for a very long time. The Bush "township" became my world. +When I speak of the Bush, it is understood that I do not mean a place +of bushes. The term, with us, is equivalent to "the country"--the +country generally, though particularly and originally its uncultivated +parts. "The miserable Bush of Australia," poor Dik called it, and it +has that character with many, I know; but--save, perhaps, at the first +glance--it never struck me that way. In the exquisite lights, the +clear distances, the fine atmosphere of this climate, Nature has to +be beautiful, whatever she wears. I love her in this grey-green +gown--and I have been a bushwoman for twenty-three years in all. The +trouble is, of course, that man, who does not live by bread alone, +lives still less on scenery. + +We did not really settle down in W----. Life there was difficult and +worrying on the professional side, and with every passing week we +longed more to extricate ourselves from a position that we had seen at +the beginning to be without promise of comfort or success. But on the +social, the secular, side, we had nothing to complain of. We had not +begun to miss the things we were cut off from, and the new experiences +were delightful. So also with the domestic conditions. It was here +that I mastered the rudiments of Bush housekeeping, and no lessons +were ever more interesting. + +I may say, at once, of my Bush life that, from the housekeeper's point +of view, it has been full of comfort--always. This is, I suppose, +chiefly because I have never had that servant trouble which seems to +keep families in general in constant distress and turmoil. The Irish +girl who took liberties with Dik was otherwise a willing and likeable +person; the vinegary widow who followed her, and who, being the mother +of a boy of twelve, made me put her down in the census paper as aged +twenty-five, would have been considered an excellent servant in the +most proper English household; and so would her successor, a smart +lady who went to church o' Sundays in silks and velvets, and drank all +our spirituous liquors that she could lay her hands on. And these were +the slight, very slight, mistakes at the beginning. Since then I have +had virtually unbroken peace. I have never had to "look for a girl," +never been to a registry office, never wanted for the best. And I +have never yet met the missus who could say the same. I have my own +opinions on this servant question. They may be heterodox, but they +work out all right, which is the main thing. The proof of the pudding +is in the eating. At the same time I know that I have had exceptional +luck. The dear servants and friends who did so much to make my life +happy were born good. + +One devoted nurse who was with me for many years postponed a fixed +wedding-day three times, rather than leave me when she thought I +needed her more than usual. "No," she said, inexorably, when I +remonstrated with her on behalf of her poor young man, "I am going to +see you better first." On the last occasion it was:--"I am not going +to let you have the trouble of moving with only strangers to help you. +I shall see you settled first." She married from the house at last, so +collapsed with grief over the parting that she could not touch the +wedding-breakfast we had prepared. The bridegroom sat about forlornly, +while I struggled to rally her with brandy and water and (when I dared +not give her more of that) tea; and she drove away with the cake whole +in her box, drowned in tears. She was a strong-minded woman too, who +as a rule never "gave way," whatever the rest of us did. + +Another long-service paragon, an Irish woman with a warm temper, could +not get on with the lady-helps--sub-housekeepers during the years that +I had no health to speak of. "No, ma'am," she said, when their +disputes were brought before me, "I'll do anything for you, but I +won't take orders from a person who's no better than I am." Although +servants like her were precious rarities, and lady-helps a drug in +the market, I felt bound to stand by my representative--the +intermediary whose position is always difficult; and so the result +would be that the other got a week's notice there and then. It made no +difference. She stayed on just the same, although I did not ask her. +They all stayed on--only leaving us to be married, or owing to family +circumstances over which they had no control. The present incumbent of +the kitchen has occupied it for nearly nine years. + +Living, _i.e._, feeding, in Australia is proverbially good, although +the cooking is often unworthy of the material. Few in the land are, +perhaps I should say were, they who do (or did) not sit down to a meat +meal three times a day. Fruit that in England was nursed in +orchard-houses and counted on south walls we could batten on now; a +few pence would heap the sideboard with grapes or apricots, but all +was so plentiful that it generally cost us nothing. Wine was not what +it is now, and we could not at once break ourselves of our English +beer; but it was not long before we learned to prefer the product of +the local vineyards, to which we shall remain faithful to our lives' +end. We got it, as we do still, in large stone jars, at less than the +price of Bass or Guinness. With a poultry yard and a cow, and John +Chinaman's vegetables, even a poor parson could live like a prince. + +Two or three times a week, regular as clockwork, "John" came to the +back door with his loaded baskets of the vegetables in season, fresh +and good, various and cheap. Europeans had not the patience to grow +them where they had so many enemies; it did not pay to do it, while he +did it for us on such terms; it has been so all these years, and is +so still. You will hardly find a private kitchen garden, except on the +isolated stations, where the gardener is nearly always a Chinaman. +Every little township depends, for the food it can least afford to do +without, on the industry of this man who, of all others, is the most +despised in the community, and of all others--tradesmen, at any +rate--is the most reliable. I never was cheated, or in any way "let +in," by a Chinaman, and never found him discourteous or disobliging. +Those who clamour for his extinction from amongst us do not realise +what country folk would miss if he were gone. + +Poor John Chinaman! so industrious, so frugal, so inoffensive and +law-abiding--an example to the white citizen of his class--if ever I +feel ashamed of Australia it is on his account. Its treatment of him, +who seems to have no friend amongst the nations, is indeed a strange +satire upon the traditions of the British race. One can see a certain +reasonableness in the poll tax of Ł50, hard as it seems that one only +of the various aliens amongst us should be thus penalised (and for his +industry too); it is, doubtless, advisable that we should prevent +ourselves from being over-run (seeing that the earth is _not_ for +all); but the law which constitutes one Chinaman a factory is worthy +of the Dark Ages, simply. Here is a sample of the sort of thing that +Englishmen, with the Union Jack over their heads, can read in their +newspapers of a morning as calmly as they read reports on the +weather:-- + +"Hop Lee, who keeps a laundry in Gertrude Street, was charged at the +Fitzroy Police Court this morning with having worked after hours on +Saturday, the 26th January, contrary to the provisions of the Shops +and Factories Act. Constable P---- deposed that about 5.30 P.M. on the +day named he went into defendant's premises and found him ironing +collars. In September 1899 the defendant was fined for a similar +offence. As Ł5 is the minimum penalty for a second conviction, Hop Lee +was mulcted in that amount and ordered to pay Ł1, 1s. costs. + +"Sam Pittee, who also keeps a laundry in Gertrude Street, was then +charged with a similar offence, also on the afternoon of the 26th +January. The defendant having pleaded guilty, the Bench inflicted a +fine of Ł1, with Ł1, 1s. costs." + +These are not men employing hands, but poor cottage workers "on their +own"; and the police--who cannot take them up for brawling, or +thieving, or woman-beating--because they don't do such things--watch +and spy, as perhaps is their duty, to see that they sit with their +hands before them through all the cool hours, while the wash that +customers may be clamouring for lies about them undone. One poor +Chinaman was arrested and fined for--according to his defence in +court, which it appeared was not listened to--ironing his own shirt +out of factory hours. And when candidates for the Federal Senate and +House of Representatives were making their stump speeches, a +"Reverend" gentleman amongst them, now a M.H.R., shouted these words +to his electors (to be quoted almost without comment in the papers +next morning):--"Chinese should be either pole-axed or poll-taxed in +such a manner as would make the country too hot for them." + +Ah, poor country! By the mouths of dozens of her most patriotic +children I have heard her sigh for the old days (before my time) when +a deputy of the Crown and a few soldiers and policemen were all her +Government. And no wonder. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +THE THIRD HOME + + +On the 1st of January 1872 G. ceased to be a curate. On the 4th--and +with thankfulness, I must confess--we left W---- for our own first +parish. + +It comes back to me, as if it were yesterday, the departure from Como. +One of the numerous kind friends who seemed sorry to part with us lent +us a roomy buggy, into which we packed many things besides +ourselves--the small treasures of the house that we did not like to +entrust to the waggons sent on before us with our modest stock of +furniture. The last offerings of fruit and flowers being stowed on the +top of these, the last good-byes said, we set off at a quiet pace, and +took the whole day to the journey. It was all Bush track amongst the +hills, and the weather, for midsummer, was kind. Twice we made a camp +in a shady spot, sprawled on the grass while the horse grazed and the +billy boiled, and ate our picnic meal luxuriously; and for miles we +walked beside and around the buggy, fern hunting and curiosity +gathering on behalf of the sister-in-law, whose main interest in +Australia was centred in these things. It was our intention to make a +holiday of the occasion, and we carried the intention out. But, oh, +how tired we were when at last we sighted our destination! That is +the moment that I remember best, when we crawled down that break-neck +"gap" which was the gateway to our valley, and saw across it on the +other side, sitting on a soft slope, with a great blue mountain behind +it, the little stone church and parsonage-house which were our bourne. +In pity for our worn-out horse, we three elders were afoot, hobbling +stiffly and uttering involuntary moans of exhaustion; only the dear +baby, from whom we had not had a cry, lay fast asleep in the bottom of +the buggy, in no way upset by his adventures. + +The picture is before me now, bathed in the last lights of the summer +day. It is one of the most beautiful that Australia can show. A +newly-arrived bishop, being in the same spot as we were, and also for +the first time, said he could not understand how we, having been +privileged to live in such a place, had voluntarily left it! for we +had left it then, because, as we reminded him, man needs more than +scenery to satisfy him in this world. The little township nests in its +fertile valley, and from the top of the gap you look down upon it and +see no prosaic details, only that it is in itself a detail, completing +the charm of the natural scene, the scheme of colour of which the +lovely mountain blue is the dominant note--that blue which flames +celestial pink in parts when the sun goes down. An awful trap to the +amateur Jehu was that gap in those days; we realise it now far better +than we did then. A metalled road, cut out of the hillsides and +fenced, now winds through it, but it still calls for a good driver and +a strong brake. We used to blunder down it, as down a wrecked +staircase, in the darkest nights, and think nothing of it; no, +although we were shown the spot where a coach, whose horses missed +their footing, was hurled down the ravine to utter smithereens with +all hands. The fact was that in those days and in that part of the +country we had to do these foolhardy things all the time, or we should +never have got about at all. When confronted with a tight place--a +gully almost as steep as a house wall, or a river which was +continually changing its soon-washed-out crossing-place, without +putting up a guide post--we just "started in" and chanced it. It was +the custom of the country, and the custom which made its drivers what +they are, skilful and fearless beyond any in the world, unless we +except the Americans, who built the vehicles that we used, the only +sort capable of such use as we put them to. I do not remember that we +worried in the least over the dangers to life and limb that we saw +quite plainly before us; we were too well used to them. Now, when we +recall our exploits, we tell each other that nothing would induce us +to repeat them. + +Descending the Gap for the first time G. led the Bush-horse, which was +an old stager if we were not, calmly taking things as they came; and +the Bush harness, on which life so often depends, was equal to its +responsibilities (the owner was to be trusted to see to that). So we +arrived safely at the door of what looked like the principal inn--the +place and we were as yet strangers to each other--and there we camped +for the night. Beds were our crying need. Everything else had to wait +until sleep had recruited us. We were fairly dead beat. + +But next morning we were all alive and vigorous again, in a fever of +impatience to get home--completely home. The vans with our furniture +had not arrived; the parsonage was shut and empty; we had designedly +kept ourselves and our movements unannounced, so there was no one to +show us the way about. Still, we lost not a moment after breakfast in +getting the buggy re-packed, getting the keys of the house and church, +and driving thither--through the tiny town, over the bridge spanning +the willowy creek, and up the hilly road--firmly resolved to sit down +by our own hearthstone forthwith, for good and all. But we always did +that. In all our movings and re-furnishings, the first proceeding was +to go in ourselves; a shakedown and something to eat, and we set to +work from the centre and not from the outside. It is far the best way. +And if there is one thing I love more than another it is the whole +process of shifting camp--odd as I am sure it must appear: I grudge to +miss a bit of it. + +What a morning we had! Although the vans had not come, there was +plenty to do in examining the premises, planning out rooms, and +utilising the contents of the buggy, now put up, with the horse, in +our own good brick stables. We were charmed with our house, which was +nearly new and very complete in its appointments. Its walls of dressed +granite made it very sound and cool; it was papered and painted as +well as it could be, and the garden and young orchard were laid out +with the same care to have all of the best; while its situation was +almost unmatchable. The outlook from the French windows and the +verandah outside them down the valley of the town to the Gap beyond, +and backwards to the blue range behind, was one of ever-changing but +constant beauty; none of our eight Australian homes had a lovelier +setting. The brilliance and purity of the mountain air enhanced the +complexion of it all, as well as the healthful capacity of the seeing +eye. Down that grassy slope to the front gate big bushes of spirća +billowed in the spring; their overlapping wreaths were enormous; their +masses of white gleamed right across the valley, visible from the Gap +road. Everything one planted seemed to flourish there, and +particularly the vineyards on some of the hillsides. Fine wines went +out from that little town, to win medals and honourable mentions at +the industrial exhibitions of the world. The manufacturer combined the +professions of vigneron and doctor--in our time the only doctor for +many miles around. He was a German gentleman who had left his country +to escape some difficulty connected with military service, and was +debarred from returning thither by the knowledge that he would thereby +land himself in a fortress. Not that he had any hankerings for the +Fatherland; he might have been born where we found him, so attached +was he to his little town and the interests he had gathered about him; +he lived there for over forty years, I believe, and is buried there, +in the hill cemetery above our old home. Cut off as he seemed to be +from the intellectual world, he yet kept touch with it; with all the +work of his practice and his wine-making, he found time for scientific +studies, not reading only, but writing for magazines and newspapers; +and his active mind was absolutely free and fearless. Of course he +never came to church--his English wife did--but that made no +difference in the relations between us. No one was more welcome to the +house than he, and his company was the salt that gave savour to the +social life of the out-of-the-way little place. In his old age he +became an ardent spiritualist, much to my surprise and puzzlement, and +he died in that faith. His death was described to me by the doctor who +attended him, a mutual friend. The good old man was seized with +something which his medical knowledge told him must prove fatal within +a given number of hours. He made no fuss or bother about it, and +allowed no one else to do so, but chatted cheerfully with his +colleague until speech failed him, with no more emotion than if he was +preparing to go to bed and to sleep as usual. + +His vineyards--doubled and quadrupled as time went on--were carved out +of virgin Bush, and that Bush was a paradise for wild flowers and +ferns. From creek gullies close by I used to gather armfuls of +maiden-hair for church decoration, some fronds of which, measured on +the dining-room table, spanned the whole width from side to side. One +Christmas Eve I made the church a bower of it; every window was veiled +in the green lace. Unfortunately, it was withered by morning--the +usual condition of church decorations, on the actual day of festival, +in this country. + +The church, which we also rummaged over without loss of time, was of a +piece with the house. Here we found the same careful arrangements and +completeness of equipment, the lack of which in other colonial +churches had so much surprised us, coming to them with our English +eyes and notions; the stamp of the mind and quality of the first +incumbent was plain in every direction (he was an Oxford man, +expatriated for his health). A year or two ago I was there again; it +and the house had faded and been neglected, and I was struck by the +unexpected smallness of them both; but even then they were a pleasant +contrast to those at W----, as they were in '72. And regarding the +beauty of their situation, I found that memory had played no tricks +with the records. + +In the middle of our rummagings we realised that we were starving. +That air was the hungriest we had ever breathed, and we had no food +with us except the baby's. G. was despatched on a foraging expedition +to the town, and presently returned with bread, butter, cheese, beer, +meat, and a frying pan, together with smaller trifles, all in his own +arms and pockets--for he never minds what he carries or where he +carries it--the sister-in-law and I having prepared a fire in his +absence. Shortly afterwards we enjoyed the meal which stands out amid +the records of the past as _the_ meal of my life--my only excuse for +mentioning it. Soon the parish woke up to the fact of our presence in +its midst, and invitations and offers of assistance poured in upon us; +but I am always pleased to think that we got that wonderful scratch +lunch first. It is a delicious memory. + +The vans came, and we settled ourselves. I find an entry in my journal +for February 10th (1873), "G. and I making a dining-table." And, three +days later, "G. and I making a sideboard." We must have done these +things, or they would not be set down, but how we did them, and with +what result, I have no recollection, although the two sofas, also made +for this house, are as plain to the mind's eye as they ever were. We +could buy furniture at the shops--"stores" we called them--of our +little town; bullock drays, that took weeks to do the journey from +Melbourne, kept us regularly supplied with all necessary goods; so +that the explanation of our various dabblings in the art of cabinet +making will at once occur to the reader. We had expended the capital +of Ł50 with which we started housekeeping, and, if I remember rightly, +the parson's stipend did not exceed Ł250 per annum. In a parish of the +dimensions of this one, horses (as distinct from a horse) were +indispensable, and they had to be fed and shod. A buggy (second hand) +and a piano (on time payment) were here added to the establishment; +likewise a second baby and a nurse-girl. To make ends meet, and at the +same time to have things as one wished--nay, as one was determined--to +have them, considerable ingenuity and invention were required. I +flatter myself that we did well, considering our youth, and that we +were new to the conditions in which we found ourselves; but still we +had to learn experience in many directions at an unexpected cost in +cash. It is extraordinary how quickly money melts in Australia, +compared with what it does at home. The reason is not that living is +dearer, but that the ways of this country are so lavish and +free-handed. + +It was about this year (1873) that I began to write for the +_Australasian_--trifling little papers, at long intervals--not because +I found any fascination in such work to dispute the claims of the +house and family, but to add something to the family resources when +they threatened to give out. I had no time for more, until one day the +editor of the _Australasian_ wrote to inquire what had become of me +and my contributions, when it occurred to me that it might be worth +while to make time. + +The Sunday school was at the further end of the township--it was the +common school on week-days--and I used to rush thither morning and +afternoon on Sundays, and return breathless to attend to my baby and +play the (American) organ in church. I trained the choir, visited +every parishioner within reach, did all that hard work unfairly +demanded of the parson's wife under these democratic systems of church +government; besides the multifarious work at home--making and mending, +cooking and nursing, and, as it appears, building sideboards and +dining-tables. Moreover, the Free and Compulsory Education Act had +come into force (January 1873), and as the State had to be satisfied +that our little nursemaid, who was within school age, was being +educated according to law, I charged myself with this job also, rather +than lose her services for the greater part of the day. And I may add +that the baby in arms was rarely trusted to this functionary, except +for airings in the garden under my eye. All other attentions that it +required I gave myself. So there was enough occupation for one +not-over-robust woman, without the addition of literary work. + +Touching upon this matter, I am reminded of a conversation that I had +with Bishop Perry soon after our arrival. It was not the hardships of +the clergy that troubled him, he said, but the killing strain upon +their wives--literally killing, for he quoted figures to show the +disproportionately high rate of sickness and untimely death amongst +them. I rather think I have heard Bishop Moorhouse express himself to +the same effect. Certainly my own long and intimate acquaintance with +the subject leaves me in no doubt as to which of the clerical pair is +in the shafts and which in the lead. It is not the parson who, to use +the phrase so often in his mouth, bears the burden and heat of the +day, but the uncomplaining drudge who backs him at all points, and +too often makes him selfish and idle by her readiness to do his work +as well as her own. Under colonial and "disestablished" conditions, he +is not largely representative of the class from which our home clergy +are drawn; as a general rule he comes from that which, while as good +as another in many ways, and perhaps better in some, is not bred to +the chivalrous view of women and wives--regards them, that is to say, +as intended for no other purpose than to wait upon men and husbands. +The customs of the profession accord so well with this idea that it is +not surprising to find a pious man killing his wife by inches without +having the slightest notion that he is doing so. + +Amongst my colleagues of those days was a lady of exceptional culture +and refinement. Her husband, a Bush clergyman like my own, was poor, +of course, and they averaged a baby a year until the baker's dozen was +reached, if not passed. The way she "kept" this family was such that I +never saw a dirty child or a soiled table-cloth or a slatternly touch +of any sort in her house. She taught the children as they grew old +enough; I know that she did scrubbing and washing with her own hands. +In addition, she did "the parish work." + +One day, when she was run down and worn out, her husband told her that +the organist, from some cause, was not forthcoming, and there was no +time to procure a substitute. "So, my dear, you will have to play for +us." He knew that she could do it, for she had often done it before; +it was the merest trifle of a task, compared with those she hourly +struggled with; but it was the one straw too many that breaks the +over-loaded back. She looked at him in silence for a moment, flung out +her arms wildly, and, exclaiming "I can do no more!" went mad upon +the spot. She had to be put into an asylum, and the parish and the +husband and the growing young ones had to do the best they could +without her. The husband, I may say, was--apart from being the +inadvertent accomplice of the parish in her destruction--one of the +very best of husbands and of men. + +Only the other day I attended a gathering of the friends of a lady to +whose loved memory it was desired to raise some public monument. She, +lately dead, had been our bishop's wife, and so the meeting was +appropriately presided over by dignitaries of the Church. They stood +up, one after another, to air their views. "I propose," said a worthy +canon, with the most matter-of-fact air in the world, "that every +clergyman's wife be a collector for the fund"--of course. I heard a +sigh and a _sotto-voce_ ejaculation behind me--"the poor clergymen's +wives!"--and the incident exactly shows how their male belongings +treat them. + +I, however, have not been a victim. Before I was willing myself to +lighten the double strain, I was compelled to do so, and the +parish--as well as all succeeding parishes--had to put up with it. But +very early in the day I evolved opinions of my own as to the right of +parishes to exact tributes of service from private individuals in no +way bound to give them. And I came to a conclusion, which I have never +since seen reason to alter, that the less a clergyman's wife meddles +with her husband's business (except between themselves) the better, +not only for her but for all parties. After I could plead the claims +of a profession of my own, my position in the scheme of things was +finally and comfortably defined. Parishes, like clerical husbands, +when they tyrannise, do it unconsciously, from want of thought, and +not from want of heart. At any rate, my parish, for the time being, +never, so far as I can see, bears me any malice for my desertion of +the female-curate's post, but quite the contrary. For whereas we +should be sure to chafe each other if forced into an unnatural and +uncongenial relationship, we are now the best of neighbours and +mutually-respecting friends. + +Having been a fervid young churchwoman at home, where I +district-visited in the most exemplary manner, with tracts and +soup-tickets and all the rest of it, for my own pleasure, parish work, +when it became my business, was not at all irksome as such. And there +was one part of it which was a source of great enjoyment during the +three years that we lived in Y----. + +It was the training of the choir. At first, with much nervousness and +diffidence, I taught hymns and chants for an hour a week, and played +them at the Sunday services in the midst of my little band, which had +never conceived of higher flights. But ambition was generated in us as +we warmed to our work. Recruits arrived from far and near, some of +whom could read music, and we spread ourselves in an occasional +anthem. There have been, and are, many thousands of choirs as pleased +with themselves as we were, but never was there one more harmonious, +in every sense of the word. To the best of my recollection we never +had a tiff, and such was the attraction of our meetings that no +weather--rain, storm, mud, darkness--could keep away the men (some of +them quite elderly), who had to tramp miles through the Bush, after a +hard day's work, to attend them. Especially in the winter. + +For when winter came, and the church was cold, I had the practices in +the house, with piano accompaniment. The bright log fire--firewood is +the one thing we have always been extravagant in, on principle--and +the much-pillowed amateur sofa, and the chairs collected from the +general stock and grouped invitingly, made the homely drawing-room a +good, thawing sort of place for the storm-buffeted to come to and to +sing in. Most carefully were wet wraps and umbrellas left outside, and +boots rubbed and scrubbed on door-mats; and never did an evening-party +show itself better bred. For that is what the choir practice came +to--a "musical evening" once a week. We fell into the habit of +clearing off the chants and hymns rather hastily, and devoting the +bulk of our ever-extending time to experiments in the higher forms of +part-singing. We were not experts, any of us, but we made up in +enthusiasm what we lacked in knowledge, and ended by so distinguishing +ourselves that the fame of our performances has not died out in the +district yet. For although on pleasure bent, we kept an eye to +business, and selected music with the secondary view of getting +anthems out of it eventually. Our great achievement was Mozart's +Twelfth Mass. It took us a long time, but we fumbled through it from +beginning to end. And then we astonished the congregation with +"Glorious is Thy Name," and "Praise the Lord, for He is Gracious," and +other classic gems, as we got them perfectly. + +It was my first attempt at choir-leading and--which I am sure is a +very good thing for my reputation--the last. Thenceforth the parson +wielded the baton. The choir that now is, which could sing the Twelfth +Mass straight off as easily as look at it, if it had never seen the +thing before, would feel insulted at any comparison between their work +and ours; but often, when I am listening to the evening anthem, the +notes of those old voices, so fervid and sincere, float back upon the +tide of memory from those old days, with a heart-melting power that +these finished performances will never possess, for me. + +A year or two ago G. was escorting me to my seat in the cathedral +through a crowd pressing into the building to some special function--I +forget what--and he was accosted by a fine-looking grey-bearded +gentleman, with a lady on his arm. "You don't know who that is," said +G., turning to me. I looked, and knew--one of those men who used to +walk so far o' nights to attend choir practice, after working at his +mine all day--seven-or eight-and-twenty years before. We clasped hands +with some emotion and looked at each other, and the question that +sprang to our eyes was, "Do you remember the Twelfth Mass?" It was as +plain as print to both of us. Then we were swept apart before I could +learn where he was living, or anything about him, except that the lady +on his arm was his daughter. + +I hope many more have survived and prospered, and that they will read +these words so as to know how I remember them. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE MURRAY JOURNEY + + +This parish, although sparsely populated, was enormous in size; it +stretched out in one direction more than a hundred miles as the crow +flies. And when G. went that way he rode with a fat valise on the +saddle and did not return under a fortnight, during which time we were +unable to communicate with each other. It was the nearest thing to +being a missionary that he ever came to. There are roads and thriving +townships along that route now; in our time it was the wildest +Bush-track, about which lay the homesteads of the pioneer squatters, +at a day's journey one from another. These good men used to welcome +warmly the infrequent parson, round up their hands for service in +dining-room or wool-shed, fetch in the babies born since the last +visitation, and any candidates for matrimony anxious to seize a golden +chance. In the case of the latter it was not unusual for the whole +process of proposal, engagement, and marriage to take place during the +few hours that the clergyman was available. + +We called this expedition "the Murray Journey," and once I took it +with him. It was soon after we arrived in the district--the 24th of +March. That morning his horse, with the long-distance bolster on its +back, was saddled and he in his Bush riding costume of short coat, +tough trousers, and leather leggings, ready to set forth in the usual +way. But I was ill just then, and when it came to saying good-bye he +felt unable to leave me. At the same time, placards posted on trees +and fences and school-house doors had made engagements for him which +he could do nothing to cancel. + +"Suppose you come too?" he suggested, as the best way out of the +difficulty. "The change of air and the outing may be just what you +need." + +It seemed a good idea, and was acted upon at once. With a hopeful +effort I prepared a portmanteau for myself, and another for my little +boy, whom we proposed to leave at a friend's house (the sister-in-law +having left us) until our return; and G. went down to the township to +find a buggy. We had not yet provided ourselves with a vehicle of our +own, although we owned a horse. Practically we owned dozens of horses, +because the squatters were always pressing loans of them upon us, +exchanging fresh for stale, paddocking any that needed to be turned +out; and on this occasion the doctor, whom I have already spoken of, +hearing of our enterprise and approving it, made an offer of a good +animal which G. accepted. It was understood that relays, if needed, +would not be wanting on the road. The buggy he hired at hotel stables +for Ł5 the trip. + +We started after luncheon, and in the evening reached a place where we +were very much at home. It was one of the newer two-storey brick +houses, with a double girdle of wide verandahs outside, and any amount +of solid British furniture within--an imposing mansion for the times. +It had enormous willow trees about it, which the owner had planted--he +white-haired and a grandfather, but Australian born, as also was his +wife. They were the oldest of old families, their history interwoven +with the very foundations of the State. Her father was killed by +bushrangers, his father was almost killed by them, or by blacks--I +forget which; and he showed me dinted gun-barrels and other trophies +that implied a battle for existence on his own part in the stirring +days gone by. He was one of the finest men I ever met. The +never-ending--unless South African battle-fields have ended +it--argument that the British type of physique degenerates in her +colonial-born sons was made short work of in his neighbourhood. "Look +at Mr B." the defender of his country would remark, and the abashed +opponent was left without a word to say. + +I had a day's rest under his wide, warm roof, which it was hoped would +recuperate my strength for further efforts. On the 26th we started +again, leaving behind us our little son and his nurse--leaving also +the doctor's horse, which Mr B. pronounced inadequate. He had the +shafts removed from our buggy, and a pole substituted, and gave us a +pair of strong, staunch, sweet-tempered horses, which I have no doubt +saved our lives on one occasion, if not on two. There was no +discussion about it. They were simply ordered, and brought round when +we were ready. And I do not remember that my mortal hatred of debts +and favours stood in the way at all. The idea of being "under an +obligation" to these men did not occur to one, somehow. The pleasure +was theirs. + +At 9 A.M. we set out, calculating to make the next stage by nightfall. +The autumnal days were such that I could not describe them without +rhapsodising, but the nights were dark, and closed in at about seven +o'clock. Mrs B. stuffed luncheon basket and invalid comforts under the +buggy seat. Everybody did that when seeing us off. It was a pity I +could not do justice to the good things we turned out upon the grass +when we made our noontide halts. If I had been well, what feasts I +should have had, in that wholesome, hungry air. A normal picnic always +finds me ravenous. As it was, my main support was milk, with a dash of +brandy in it. Nothing heavier would "stay." + +Now began the struggles which I know were so painful at the time, but +which were so amply paid for. Our track was through the wild Bush, +sparely bisected by the primitive bush-fence--two or three a day, +perhaps--brush, dog-leg, chock-and-log, the post-and-rail reserved for +the stockyards and home enclosures; and it soon began to climb rough +hills and fall into abrupt ravines such as no sane driver would +attempt to negotiate nowadays. Not we, at any rate. The hills crowded +upon the river, and to get past them you either had to make a long and +uninteresting detour inland or clamber over the shoulders that sloped +sheer into the swiftly-running stream. We chose this left-hand route, +and thus put the splendid mettle of our horses to full proof for the +first time. Some of those "sidings" were so steep that while the +staunch creatures clung to the track, digging their toes in at every +step, the buggy hung at right angles to them down the hill; the least +jib would have run us plump into the water beneath. I walked while I +had the strength to do so; at the sharpest pinches we both walked; but +there was too much of it. I had to mount when I could crawl no more, +and tucking myself under the seat and covering my eyes, give myself up +into the hands of fate. "Tell me when it is all over," I said to G. + +G. had the good character in the Bush of being "so unlike a parson," +which meant he could ride and drive (accomplishments acquired at home, +fortunately), and go anywhere without losing himself. In those endless +miles of wilderness, faintly scratched with crossing and re-crossing +bridle-tracks, nothing to guide him that was visible to me, he was, +from the first, as good a Bushman as those to the manner born, as sure +of his course as a sailor on the sea. Nevertheless, we fell into the +disgrace (to an Australian Jehu) of being "bushed" that night. + +In mere miles it was a long day's journey; the difficult country made +it a slow one, and it was necessary to "out span" for an hour in the +middle of it, to feed and rest the horses. We started in the +afternoon, watch in hand. "We shall do it," said G.; and then, "We +shall just do it;" and then, "We've got our work cut out to do it." We +counted minutes, and watched the glooming sky. The horses raced in and +out amongst the trees and scrub while any shadow of trunk or stump +could be discerned by the straining eye; then they slackened, checked, +stumbled; branches broke under their feet and in the buggy wheels and +swished our hands and faces; and we had to recognise that we were off +the track, and that the darkest of dark nights had untimely caught us. +We were not lost, because we could hear the dogs barking at the +homestead that was our goal, but we were as good as lost--"bushed" for +the night, although for some time we would not acknowledge it. If the +reader asks what carriage-lamps were made for, I reply, not for +Bushmen in those days. People living in and about the towns used +them, in obedience to by-laws, and the coaches travelled at night with +grand hoods of light around their faces, top and sides; but +country-folks despised such artificial aids, such enervating luxuries. +They used to say they could see better without lamps than with, and +we, being Bush persons, thought so too. On any ordinary night and +fairly open track, we could manage to get along, but this night was +not only moonless but starless, and thick with gathering rain. "Black +as a wolf's mouth" well describes it. And we were in riverside scrub, +which is always dense and confusing, traversing it, moreover (since it +was not G.'s riding route, a still rougher one) for the first time. + +G. got down and hunted with lighted matches for the lost track. When +he thought he had discovered it he backed the horses and ran the buggy +into a worse fix than before. This manoeuvre was repeated several +times. While I held the reins, he made little excursions by himself, +and with the greatest difficulty found me again. The horses stood +quiet and patient, just snuffing and jingling a little, and we tied +them up and crept around the immediate neighbourhood together, hand in +hand, until they in turn were lost--lost for many agonising minutes. +Reminding ourselves of our responsibility for their welfare, and that +we should have to pay goodness only knew what for the buggy if harm +came to it, we decided, when reunited once more, not to part again. +Bushed we were, and had to make up our minds to it. + +So we unharnessed the gentle animals and haltered them, and let them +graze and rustle round within safe reach and the limit of their +tether, and we did what we could to ease the situation for ourselves. +I was deadly sick and tired, and had to lie down somewhere. The floor +of the buggy being too short for a bed, we were driven to seek rest on +the bosom of Mother Earth. We spread our one rug thereon, and covered +ourselves with the shawl that had Dik's shot-holes in it. That +shawl--a wedding present--was a dream of a shawl for softness, +thickness, cosiness, a family treasure for ever so many years. Babies +were rolled in it, and little invalids sitting up, and anybody who was +shivery or ailing (disease germs and such things not being in fashion +then); nothing was ever woven that gave so much comfort to so many +people. It was in constant demand--"the grey shawl"--as the last +safeguard against damps and chills, and so, as a matter of course, I +took it with me on the Murray Journey. But it was wofully insufficient +for the requirements of that cold March night. + +A mouthful from G.'s pocket-flask warmed me for a while, and there was +a romantic hour during which I lay and listened to the strange +undertones of the Bush, charmed to have fallen in with so interesting +an experience. It was, by the way, the only time that I ever "camped +out," although I have wished ever since to do it again, when well in +health and otherwise properly equipped. About two years ago I returned +(for the first time since '73) to that neighbourhood, and arrangements +were made for me and another enterprising matron to camp out with a +party of engineers surveying a proposed road through a wild jumble of +hills and glens, at what would have been an ideal spot. They were +taking tents and beds, and nice things to cook at the glorious fire +they would keep us warm with; nothing they could think of to enhance +our enjoyment had been forgotten. Alas! the rain came, and +extinguished that project and my joy. On the afternoon of the expected +happy night, a host-that-should-have-been drove me over one of the +old-time break-neck roads--but a real road now--and showed me the +scene of the camp that never was. Peeping from the mackintoshes that +he had heaped over me, I saw, through the driving rain and across a +thickly-wooded gorge, a high, dim hill. There it was, more than +half-way up--the loneliest eyrie. What a place to look down from at +nightfall, at daybreak, and in the dead waste and middle of the dark! +And not only the camp fire to make magic of it, but a moon! + +On the occasion of our involuntary camp-out in '73 there was neither. +I fancy we had used all our matches, but if not, we dared not have +made a fire. Grass and dead leaves were still tinder to a spark, and a +Bushman knows when he must respect that state of things. A Bush fire +is more easily started than put out. So we lay and listened to the +trampling and munching of the invisible horses, the scratchings and +runnings and snoring growls of the opossums, and those imaginary +footsteps that, to ears at the ground, were more distinct than either, +until we ached with the hardness of our bed and our teeth chattered +with cold. And then it began to rain. + +We sought the shelter of the buggy, and covered ourselves with the rug +and the grey shawl. We sat in the vehicle, where there was no room to +lie down, leaning one against the other, dropping this way and that, +sighing from our very boots, watching for a glint of dawn. It seemed a +thousand hours before it came. As soon as we could find our way we +went to the river to wash. How starvingly raw and cold that early +morning was! And to this day I am sorry for myself when I remember how +I felt, after the sleepless, supperless, wet, sick night. I would have +been glad to lie down and die, rather than face a pack of strangers. +However, we harnessed up, and set out for the house for which we were +bound. We seemed to have hardly started before we got there--a good +"Cooee" might have rescued us over-night--and nobody was stirring, +except a servant beginning to sweep. + +A new baby had recently arrived--it appears to me, looking back, that +in those days there was always a new baby in every house--so that the +mistress was invisible for a time; but I was soon in kind hands of +some sort, which helped me to tumble straightway into bed. For it was +useless to attempt to observe any of the usages of polite society, +under the circumstances. Daily, through that trip, I arrived in this +condition, more or less, at some new strange house--an uninvited +guest, too ill to talk to anyone, thrown at once upon the charity of +the family, and of course filled with the shame of so ignominious a +position; but I should have lost much more than I did lose if I had +been well. + +I slept till noon, while G. mended what he could of his broken +engagements (there should have been a service over-night, and now the +congregation had dispersed to its work); and after an early lunch we +took the road again. I was firm in insisting upon keeping a tight hold +of my husband, though I should die for it, rather than be left behind +to be nursed, which he and everyone deemed the proper thing to do with +me. + +In the evening we came to the place that, of all places visited at +this time, is the one I remember best and with most pleasure. A fine +day, after the rain, was closing with a finer sunset when we saw the +house, so effectively situated on a hill-side sloping to the river, +its pretty garden dropping down before, its neat vineyard and orchard +climbing behind, that as a picture I hung it "on the line," there and +then, and the gallery of memory holds nothing of the same age that has +worn so well. It was a bachelor establishment--an awkward +circumstance, at the first blush, but soon perceived to lack no +advantage on that account. One young partner was away; the one at home +came forth to receive us, with his nice, frank, gentlemanly air, that +made such an impression upon me. I don't know who he was; I never saw +or heard of him again; I have forgotten his name; but him I shall +never forget. + +He had made the most careful and graceful preparations for us. A +dinner-party had been arranged, the guests to meet us being a squatter +and his wife, of the same good class as himself, from the New South +Wales side of the river, which they crossed in their private +boat--evidently a voyage often taken--at the due hour. Sad to relate, +I could not join that party, much to the host's concern and my own +disappointment. The housekeeper bore me off to bed, and coddled me +with arrowroot or beef-tea or something, while at the same time she +supervised the serving of a meal which was described to me afterwards +in tantalising terms. I was glad that my bedroom was close to the +dining-room--probably opened out of it, like so many guest-chambers of +the period. I could hear the pleasant, cultivated voices, the bright +chat, broken by little silences during which the master of the house +waited to hear how I was, and whether I could fancy this or that; and +later in the evening I could follow the whole course of the service +that was held in the same apartment, and for which he had diligently +gathered in every stray sheep within his reach. + +As soon as dinner was over the other lady guest came in to sit with +me, and stayed with me until it was time for her to re-cross the dark +river to her own home and bed. We talked of our children, in low +tones, not to disturb the adjacent worshippers. She, too, I never saw +before or since--it was indeed a case of ships that pass in the +night--but I have loved her always, and thought of her as a life-long +friend. We promised to meet again. If she is alive now, I am sure she +regrets, as I do, that Fate declined to give us another chance. + +Refreshed by a night's rest, I rose early, and enjoyed my host's +companionship for perhaps half an hour. He took me for a gentle stroll +about the garden while breakfast was preparing, and I was sorry the +half hour could not be lengthened to a day--or a week. But the +exigencies of G.'s time-table drove us on. We had another day-long +journey before us to the next port of call, and it was necessary to +start betimes if we were not to be bushed again. + +We travelled beside the river for some hours, and my recollections are +of particularly lovely views. Doubtless the radiant morning gave them +much of their charm--Australian scenery is really a matter of light +and atmosphere--and allowance must be made for that enchantment which +distance lends; still, it was a pretty country. The Murray wriggles +through its two colonies like a length of waved dress braid, and here +it curved between hilly banks and woods whose fringes dipped into the +stream. Primeval forest it was, too (except for that daily rarer +brush fence), the free home of beautiful birds that may now be sought +in vain within the boundaries of the state; and a stream still +populous with wild-fowl of many kinds. By noon we must have worked a +little inland, for my journal says it was a creek we camped by for +lunch; and in the afternoon, during which we skirted a little hamlet +that is now a considerable town, we descended to country called +"Plains" in the title of its presiding station--the house we reached +safely just as night closed in. Here there was the usual new baby +(which G. christened next day), and no hostess immediately visible; +the governess received me--in the inevitable condition--and put me to +bed. + +Speaking of those Bush babies, I would point out that medical +attendance was in the category of non-essential luxuries that are now +necessaries of life in every class. When it cost a little fortune and +the waste of days to get a doctor, the struggling Bushman's wife, as a +rule, took her chance without him. Occasionally she was conveyed to a +township which possessed one, and there awaited in lodgings the +opportunity to profit by his services; but the majority of Bush women +preferred to stay at home and make shift with the peripatetic Gamp, +old and unscientific as she always was. There was no fuss made over +these affairs. The wives took after their husbands, who could drive +without gig-lamps in the darkest night. I remember, however, that the +mistress of this last house had all but lost her life in her recent +confinement. She was a beautiful woman, delicate in every way--not of +the ordinary type of squatter's wife. + +With her I rested for a day, while G. made business excursions on +horseback, and we spent a second night under that roof. This brought +us to Sunday--a typical Bush Sunday. + +A large family party loaded the waggonette which took us to morning +service some miles distant. The place of worship, as usual in such +parts, was the district school-house, called the Common School (the +title "State" was substituted for "Common" when the Compulsory +Education Act came into force, after which these buildings, enormously +multiplied, were not so readily obtainable for what are called +"sectarian" purposes). The school-house was utilised by the +denominations in turn, all having been placed on the same footing by +the withdrawal of State aid from the originally established (English) +church, only the Roman Catholics standing out from the miscellaneous +company. This seemed a sad "come-down" to us at first, with our +hereditary reserve and exclusiveness in relation to "dissenters"--a +word long eliminated from our vocabulary. The miner who, being invited +to church, replied affably, "Ay, ay, I'll give ye all a turn," showed +us our place in the colonial scheme of things, and we did not like it +a bit. But we soon adapted ourselves. And G. and the current +Presbyterian parson of the parish, that he could not call his own, +used to study their mutual convenience in arranging country services, +and give each other a lift when on the road together. A pity it was +that the "dissidence of dissent" could not have been further +modified--a pity it is, and must continue to be--for the existence of +half a score of little conventicles struggling one against the other +for the suffrages of one poor little town--the money question in each +case dominating and determining every other--is not good for their +common cause. + +In the simple seventies and these remote outskirts of the world, one +could still cherish the ideals of that English prelate who said of +Disestablishment that "it will nearly drown us, but at least it will +kill the fleas," one could survey the Church purified, before the new +vermin hatched. It was charming to see the country carts gathered +round the lowly wooden building, the horses unharnessed, feeding under +the trees; they had brought worshippers from many miles away, their +sincerity as such proved by the trouble they had taken to reach the +rendezvous, and by the heartiness of their demeanour while service was +going on. The school forms, made for children, would bend, and +sometimes break, under the heavy men, close-packed along them; the +mothers peacefully suckled their babes as they listened to the sermon; +the dogs strolled in, and up and down. Sometimes a dog had a +difference with another dog and disturbed the proceedings, but unless +this happened no one thought of driving the dear creatures out. They +were the sheep and cattle dogs of the congregation, each inseparable +from his master. + +This sort of function it was that I attended on the morning of the one +Sunday of that Murray Journey. A family present then convoyed us to +their home--another solitary station--whence, after a good meal, they +drove us to the second service of the day, similar to the first. We +then drove ourselves to a third station (a delightful place, G.'s +favourite camping-ground on every Murray trip), where, of course, I +went at once to bed, G. "having church" for the last time in the +evening, in the dining-room of the house. + +Monday was a rest-day here. On Tuesday morning we made the necessary +early departure, and a few hours later met with the first of our two +serious adventures. + +It was soon after our picnic lunch, early in the afternoon. We were +trundling through the eternal solitude, refreshed and content, +enjoying our conversation and the brilliant weather, when we saw a +Bush fire far ahead. Since we were not responsible for starting it, we +hailed it as a welcome variation in the monotony of our drive. We +hoped to skirt it near enough to see what it was doing. Bush fires +were pleasing novelties in those days; now the faintest distant scent +of them gives me a "turn" like a qualm of sickness. I shall explain +why later on. This incident does not explain it, although it well +might. + +As we advanced, the area of conflagration opened out. It was an +extensive fire, and in thick country. Not grass, but trees were +roaring to the sky. Our anxiety to get close to it gradually gave +place to a wish that it were further away. Misgivings deepened as we +drew near; alarm supervened. "It is right across the track," said G. +at last; and so it was, and far to right and left. + +The last thing we wanted to do was to turn back, and indeed the wings +of flame curved in behind us even as we drew rein to discuss our +chances--not until we had driven quite up to the blazing wall, in the +hope of seeing through to the other side, and finding a +crossing-place. To go into the unburnt scrub on either hand would have +been madness, for nothing could have saved us had the fire caught us +there. Every inch of earth provided fuel for it, except the narrow, +dusty buggy track. To that we knew we must stick at all hazards, and a +very hurried survey of our unpleasant position showed us that there +was nothing for it but to go on--to plunge into the flaming belt, and +get out as best we could. + +A few yards, we hopefully reckoned it: it turned out nearer half a +mile. It might have been midnight, for all the daylight or sunlight +that we saw during that dreadful passage: we were like Shadrach, +Meshach, and Abednego in the burning fiery furnace, enveloped in a +glare as of the infernal regions. The tree-torches over our heads +dropped blazing leaves on us (the useful grey shawl again +intervening): the grass-blades caught and curled up at the very tires +of the wheels; the buggy sides blistered like our hands and cheeks. +Not a word did we speak, except to urge on the horses, on which our +lives depended, and which we are convinced they saved. + +They shivered and jumped and snorted a little when the flames came +very near, or they were touched by a spark, but never for a moment +gave way to the panic which would have been natural, and which would +have destroyed us all. Digging their heads into their chests, obeying +voice, whip, and rein, they strained along doggedly, keeping the track +as they had done on the steep sidings, until they brought us out at +last into light and safety. Such nerve and courage I never saw or +heard of in horses, which can stand almost anything better than fire +at close quarters. But this pair were unmatchable. + +We staggered into port, and tried, with our parched tongues, to tell +the tale. Never shall I forget the shock I received from the behaviour +of the person interviewed. The thin veneer of his sympathy for us was +as glass over his solid and shining satisfaction at hearing how his +waste land was getting cleared--at no expense to him. I thought I had +never met a more heartless man. + +Then, after a night in the humble _chalet_ of two young fellows, just +starting squatting for themselves in a romantic nook of the hills--who +ought not to have been asked to entertain a lady, but did it most +hospitably with the best at their command, we passed on to our next +adventure. + +It was another lovely morning, and the usual bottle of new milk and +private spirit-flask compensated somewhat for the chops I had not been +able to eat at breakfast. It was a beautiful if rough drive down the +hills to the river-flats and another little hamlet that is now a +full-grown town, with a railway to it. On the way we stopped to watch +the evolutions of an eagle-hawk, which had caught up an opossum +(stupid as an owl in daylight), and was sailing through the ether with +it, fiercely chased by all the other birds of the neighbourhood. They +call these great creatures eagle-hawks, but they are wholly eagles, to +all intents and purposes. I have seen one swoop over a terrified +flock, claw up a good-sized lamb, and soar away with it as if it were +a mouse. + +Leaving the township, we came presently to a river--the Mitta, in +flood. And here our incomparable horses, which had saved us from a +fiery, saved us from a watery, grave--possibly. G., it is true, was a +good swimmer, but I was not, and the worst might have happened. +Drownings of venturesome travellers, under the same circumstances, +were frequently reported in those days. + +That river had to be crossed. There was no bridge, of course, and not +a soul within miles of whom to make inquiries as to the +fording-place. The only thing to do, therefore, was to take the last +one known, while anticipating--rightly as it proved--that it would be +found washed out and gone. "Oh, you can't cross there now," they told +us, after we had done it. + +I and all our belongings were gathered upon the buggy seat, skirts +tucked round me, railing and portmanteau tightly clutched; G. knelt on +the cushion of the driver's seat, and we plunged in. Deeper, deeper, +deeper, until we swayed and rocked and swung round upon our axis, and +the current took the horses off their feet and began to drift them +down. But their heads still pointed to the old landing-place: with all +their strength they held back against the stream; and swimming +steadily, got us ashore without an upset, and, with a tremendous spurt +and scramble, up a bank that would have tried the mettle of a South +African bullock team. + +It was the last "pinch." By noon we reached the wide-spreading roofs +of a house which was simply a free hotel for every passer-by--that +house where even the blacks were made welcome, one of them having the +run of visitors' bedrooms in the night. There G. left me, returning +after a few hours with our little boy and his nurse and the doctor's +horse. And the following day we were at home. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +LOCAL COLOUR + + +I often wonder what G. would have done if he had been a weakly man or +an indifferent rider. There were lengthy periods during which he +practically lived in the saddle, getting out of it merely for meals +and sleep. For a time we kept records of the totals of miles covered +per week or per year, but, these matters ceasing to be notable, we +lost them long ago. And it is better not to trust even to his memory +to reproduce them, for I am certain that no figure near the truth +would be credited by the English reader. + +The following is the programme for a monthly Sunday in W----, where +the breaking-in began:--Up at 4 A.M. Breakfast at a station +twenty-five miles distant. Morning service five miles further distant +(in an open shed, the congregation sitting on wheat-sacks or what +not). Dinner near by, and ride of twelve miles to afternoon service. +Tea, and ride of five miles to evening service. Ride of seventeen +miles home. Of course he could have started on Saturday and returned +on Monday, but he never spent a night away from his own house unless +absolutely compelled. I used to wake from my first sleep at the sound +of the cantering hoofs, pop on my dressing-gown, and go and hold the +lantern for him while he made his horse comfortable, and then join +him at his well-earned supper. He was always fresh at the end of this +tremendous day, or, at anyrate, not more than pleasantly +tired--generally more disposed to sit up and gossip than to go to bed. +The horse, too, which had carried him all day, though glad to reach +his journey's end, was undistressed. It was by no means an exceptional +day's work for an Australian horse. + +Only once do I remember seeing G., at the end of one of these Bush +excursions, thoroughly knocked up. That was in furnace-hot midsummer +weather, when he had been out all day in a north wind. He had been +sent for to take a burial service, and was first driven twenty-five +miles to the station where the body was lying. Hence the funeral +party, on horseback and in black clothes and hats, proceeded at a slow +foot-pace another twenty-five miles to the station where the family +burying-ground was situated. Here, at the grave, one mourner fell, +sun-struck; the rest were more or less prostrated. G. rode those +terrible twenty-five miles, and the same distance back to the first +station; there he had a meal and a short rest, and then rode home in +the night, which was pitchy dark. The temperature was still over 100° +and the wind in the north, and the whole thing proved too much even +for his strength. He was really tired out, for once. But that was the +only time that I remember him being so (from riding) in all the years +that I have known him. + +I may mention another funeral with some old-time features about it. +The summons came one evening, from a long distance, and the man +bringing it left directions for G. to follow in riding to the +appointed spot next day--for he had but just arrived in the district, +which was all unknown land to him. The man promised to meet him at a +certain swamp of some miles in extent; the funeral would have to skirt +round this swamp, but there was a track through it, known to the +initiated, by which a rider could save much distance; he had, however, +to be a good rider, on a good horse, because it was a quicksandy sort +of ground, and a guide was necessary. G. managed to find this place +and duly met his guide, who upbraided him for not being there earlier. +The man then led the way through the swamp, at a pace as near to +flying as possible, to avoid being sucked in; if a horse rested his +weight on the ground for a moment, he began to sink. They were awful +places, those. I once saw G. (I was riding behind him) caught by one +unawares. The instant he knew it he rolled off the saddle and back to +_terra firma_ like a streak of lightning, and eventually he got his +horse out too; but it gave me cold shivers to think what might have +happened. Though, as I never heard of anyone being engulfed entirely, +I suppose there were bottoms somewhere. + +On this occasion the guide tore along at the pace I have mentioned, +kicking up the sticky stuff behind him; G., obliged to ride in his +tracks and close at his heels, was smothered in the shower, and when +he joined the funeral procession was a cake of black mud from head to +foot. Arrived at the cemetery, it was found that the grave had not +been dug--not begun to be dug--and the party had to sit around for +three hours while this necessary business was transacted. A hospitable +soul amongst the mourners took G. to his neighbouring shanty, cleaned +him down a bit, and gave him eggs and chops and tea and all the usual +kindness. Word was brought to them when the grave was ready, and they +returned to finish the proceedings. + +This cemetery, although remote and small, was a public one; that of +the other funeral was private. I have known several of these family +burying-places, made in the first instance for the pioneers who "took +up" the land--crown land, become freehold and virtually entailed--now +occupied by their descendants; some of them are used still. Only a +short time ago I was visiting one of the old homes, a wealthy station, +administered by the third generation of its possessors; and, walking +about the grounds after luncheon, I was shown the cemetery, with its +rows of head-stones and monuments and its fence and gate, like a +section cut out of any well kept municipal burial-ground; only this +lay amongst garden-beds and orange-groves, in full view of the windows +on one side of the house. Hither had been brought back the daughters +who had married and gone away. "And here," said my white-haired host, +"we," indicating the family group of which he was the centre, "shall +all come, I hope." I trust there will be no law made to prevent it. +Technically unconsecrated, as I suppose they are, these little family +burying-places have a peculiar sacredness, to my thinking, not +belonging to the common gathering-places of the dead; the difference +is as between a bed at home and a bed in a hotel. + +One friend of ours, bachelor-owner of one of the finest properties in +the wealthy Western District, ordered that he should be interred on +the top of a hill on his estate, and that no monument was to be +erected over him. His wishes were carried out. G. read the burial +service at the lonely grave, which is marked only by a cairn of +stones. + +Some of the Bush weddings of those early times were as unconventional +as the Bush funerals. Our verger and odd man about the church at Y---- +(we took him over from our predecessor) could not read. G. called upon +him one day to say the responses at a marriage service, there being no +other congregation, and he pleaded this disability. "Well, at least," +said G., "you can say 'Amen' can't you?" Oh, yes, he could do that. +And he did--with a vengeance. Every time G. paused to take a breath, +no matter where, a loud "Amen!" was shot into the breach. Who giveth +this woman to be married to this man?--"Amen!" There was nothing for +it but to race through the ceremony, and "Old Jimmy" was not required +to officiate again. + +G. was often nonplussed in this way, by finding ignorance where he +expected knowledge as a matter of course. Once he started to read the +Litany in a strange place for the first time. Dead silence followed +the opening sentence. In a low voice he directed the congregation what +to do, but nothing would make them do it; evidently they had never had +the Litany before, and did not know what to make of it. In the end he +had to read the whole alone. I myself came upon a crowded class of +Sunday-school children who did not know who Noah was. I was trying to +stuff them with that legend of a submerged world, and I put the +question encouragingly: "Now, who was the good man whom God spared +when all the rest were drowned?" Rows and rows, dozens and dozens +(they filled that flower-stand-like arrangement of stair-seats running +up the wall, which the village school provides for the infant +scholars) of blank little faces were interrogated one by one. "Can't +you tell me? Can't _you_?" No, none of them could. At last one bright +little boy spoke up. "I know, teacher!" "Ah, then you tell these other +little boys and girls. Who was it?" He shouted triumphantly, "Robinson +Crusoe!" + +There was a Bush wedding that would have made quite a romantic story, +if I had thought to write it. G. was on the Murray Journey, and it was +one of his engagements for the outward route. Cantering along through +the Bush, he was met and accosted by a drunken old man, who asked him +whether he was not the parson and on the way to marry So-and-so. G. +informed him that he was. "Well, don't you do it," said the man. "I'm +the girl's father, and she's under age, and she can't marry without my +consent, and I won't give it." G. rode on, and at the appointed +rendezvous met the young couple, a nice modest girl and a +respectable-looking young man. Documents were produced for filling up +and signing, and G. asked for that necessary one which he feared would +not be forthcoming. It was not. The bridegroom-elect pretended that it +had been mislaid--"bluffed" all he knew, poor fellow--but he could not +produce it, and without it there could be no marriage. The bride, +being in her teens, must have her father's written consent, and this +father had refused it. They tried to persuade G. to marry them without +it, but, as he told them, it was more than his place was worth; the +law was plain and had to be obeyed. They retired for a while to +discuss the unhappy situation, and then the bride came back alone, +weeping, to renew the useless appeal. She had a wretched life with her +drunken father, who ill-used her, and her lover had prepared for her a +good and happy home, and oh, couldn't G., for once and in +consideration of the hard circumstances, stretch a point? He was +sorry enough that he could not. All he could do was to promise to see +them again on his homeward journey, and to marry them then if in the +meantime they had been able to soften the father's heart. But when he +returned he found the situation unchanged; the old ruffian's heart was +flint. The end of it all was that the poor young things, using the +legal knowledge acquired from G., went off to another colony and +another clergyman who knew them not, to whom the bride gave her age as +over twenty-one. G., when he heard of this, did not make it his +business to denounce the desperate young criminals. + +He celebrated another Bush wedding--and there was a wedding party to +it--in the destined home of the happy pair. It was a bark hut, with a +mud floor and as yet without a shred of furniture in it. The papers +were filled up and signed on an up-ended cask. At another marriage +feast all the guests were drunk to start with. They offered him a +glass of neat brandy in which to drink the health of the contracting +parties. In all sorts of places, and at all hours of the day and +night, he has been called upon to weld the bands of holy matrimony; +the evening--after dark--is the time preferred by those casual couples +who do not bother about wedding garments and the other conventional +displays. + +I once got a pathetic glimpse of one of these belated functions; it +was performed for G. by a _locum tenens_ in one of our country +parishes. "Why," said he to me, before going into church, "why do +these people make a point of being married in the vestry and not +before the altar?" They had pressed this point with such earnestness +that he had yielded to it. His idea was that they did not feel +themselves smart enough for the usual observances, although there were +to be no spectators; but even to him it seemed an absurd one. We knew +them well--that the mother, authorising the marriage as the only +surviving parent, was a highly-respected lady, and the bridegroom a +steady young man, long a member of her establishment; the bride, who +was very young, was her only child. The hour and the place chosen, and +the secrecy of the whole affair, puzzled us, though we might easily +have guessed their meaning. I happened to see the vestry door open on +the conclusion of the ceremony. In the bright patch of light suddenly +flung upon the screen of darkness stood mother and daughter, locked in +each other's arms, apparently weeping bitterly. "Tell me," said the +officiating minister, when he came in, "tell me how this business +turns out," and he left us next day for his home in Melbourne. The +first thing I heard was the news that the girl had been married, all +unbeknown to her friends and at some distant church, several months +before the date on which I knew she had been married; everybody told +me this, and of course I did not contradict the statement. Four or +five months later I met her in a railway carriage, and she had a +bouncing baby in her arms. The strict moralist would have been +horrified to see how proud of it she was, and how blooming and happy +and satisfied she looked. + +Strange to say, evening weddings are _de rigueur_ in the upper circles +of the place where I now live--the only place thus distinguished, so +far as I know. Soon after we came here a particularly "swell" wedding +took place--that may have set the fashion--the hour of which was fixed +at 8 P.M. The bridal robe, with its court train, had been sent from +London, the gift of a wealthy sister; it was a wonderful white +brocade shot with silver threads, and certainly shimmered in the +gaslight as it could not have done by day. The gorgeous costumes of +the guests also "lit up" with great effectiveness, as did the +elaborate decorations of the church. It was really a dramatic +spectacle. And the church was almost pulled to pieces by the crowd who +went to see it. + +And so now all the butchers and bakers and candlestick-makers have +their weddings at night. Business is over, and they can revel +thoroughly while they are about it. And outsiders, being also free to +enjoy themselves, come in shoals to see the fun. Gates have to be +locked and defended by brute force like barricades against besiegers, +and the police are welcome when they deign to grace the scene. We hate +this custom, which for several reasons is not nice to think of, but +cannot alter it. Fashion is always irresistible when there is no law +to the contrary, and canonical hours are ignored in this country. In +the Bush, in the old days, persons got married at night only because +they were ashamed to do so by day, or because they had no choice. + +Another more purely social function of the Church had its Australian +peculiarities, so marked at times as to obscure the lines of the +original model, followed with such religious care. I allude to the +time-honoured tea-meeting. I shall never forget how the first one that +I attended on this side of the world astonished me. + +It was while we were at W----, and the occasion was the laying of the +foundation stone of a church at a mining township some twelve miles +off. A large party of us, headed by our archdeacon, had a pleasant +drive to the spot during the afternoon; on arrival our buggies were +variously disposed of amongst the local residents, who, after the +business ceremony, welcomed us to the hall or schoolroom where the +festive tables were spread. I had seen the festive tables at +home--bread and butter, substantial whitish cake, currant buns--and +expected some approximation to that immemorial bill of fare, which to +me was all one with the Rubrics. + +I did not know--though I soon learnt--that the poorest Sunday-school +child would not look at it. For the Sunday-school treat--just so much +on a lower plane than a tea-meeting as boys and girls are inferior to +men and women--you must have nothing plainer than ham-sandwich; that +is the basis on which to build the rich edifice of sweets. Ham it must +be, and no meaner substitute. So, at least, it was when I took active +part in such affairs; for I know that once, when we thought to +economise with beef, an irate mother came to ask us what we meant by +it. The children never had been put off with beef, and she considered +it a burning shame. One year, when the "treat" food was provided, as +usual, by the ladies of the congregation, each cooking to outvie the +rest, I took upon myself to remonstrate with them for _their_ +cruelty--in stuffing the poor children with unlimited cream-cakes and +meringues. Yes, actually meringues, on my word of honour. But that, I +must admit, was an exceptional circumstance. + +Nowadays, as I am informed, things are not quite the same. For +instance, the current Sunday-school attached to this establishment +makes its annual sandwiches of ham, beef, and German sausage, in about +equal parts, and I do not hear of any complaints. It is a large +Sunday-school, and therefore not so much all one family as those +little ones of the past: and ham is something like a shilling a +pound; and town ways are not as Bush ways. In town it is a common +thing to employ a caterer at so much per head. So that we may say the +times have changed. But the children, wherever they are and whoever +makes it for them, still pack rich puff pastry on the top of their +sandwiches, and rich plum cake on the top of that, and miscellaneous +"lollies" on the top of all, until there is no room for a crumb more; +and what happens to them next day, and the day after, is a question +that yearly agitates my mind. Quite unnecessarily, I suppose. Their +little stomachs are hardened to it. + +So the aspect of my Bush feast--the tea-meeting tea--may be inferred. +Chickens and turkeys, hams and tongues, pies and sucking-pigs, jellies +and trifles--in short, all the features of an old-fashioned wedding +breakfast or a ball supper were there, except the wine. You had, +naturally, to drink tea at a tea-meeting--if you wanted to drink +anything with such oceans of whipped cream. But the tea is the only +remaining link between the Australian tea-meeting and the English one, +unless the English one has changed greatly since my time. + +A purely social function, did I call it? It had, of course, its +_raison d'ętre_ if only to "draw the people together," which is its +last excuse (the first always "goes without saying"). On one occasion +a tea-meeting was attached to a movement for getting some parochial +work done, of which part of the parish approved and part did not. +Speeches for and against were made when the tables had been cleared, +and G. spoke for the side that he personally espoused. The local +paper, which was on the opposite side, reported his speech in the +following ingenious manner: "The reverend gentleman was understood to +say" so and so (substantially what he actually did say), "but what he +meant to say was" so and so (what the local paper and its party +thought he ought to have said). + +The great tea-meeting of all is what is called the Diocesan Festival. +It is held annually, at the time of the sitting of the Church +Assembly, which is our House of Convocation; and all the leading +(English) Churchmen of the diocese, lay and clerical, take their part +in "running the show." The Melbourne Town Hall is filled with +tea-tables, individually donated by parishes or private families; +Church of England people, and many besides, flock thither and pack the +place to suffocation before six o'clock, at which hour they sit down +to eat and drink, having paid eighteen pence per head for the +privilege. When tea is over there is a great struggle for room to +remove the tables and their furnishings, but it is done somehow, and +only benches and chairs left for the evening assembly, augmented by +many not present at the tea. During this interval the cathedral +organist gives selections on the great instrument that was the city's +pride in the seventies and eighties, but now needs more money than +City fathers care to give (for mere artistic purposes) to bring it up +to the requirements of these times and of a self-respecting performer; +then, when all is ready, the orchestra platform fills with +big-wigs--governor, bishops, "special attractions" bespoken long +before--and stirring speeches fill the rest of the bill. It is a great +carnival for pious folk, and not without interest for mere ordinary +beings like myself; and the substantial profit resulting from it is +one of the mainstays of the "Bishop of Melbourne's Fund," which is the +general fund in aid of general diocesan distress. + +Substantial profit, it is needless to remark, is the first object of +the promoters of all these entertainments, so many and +various--tea-meetings, bazaars, "sales of gifts," Bruce auctions, cake +fairs, concerts, etc., etc.--and has to be so while the voluntary +system and poor human nature exist together. Each event is contrived +"for the benefit of the Church," a term well understood by all its +members, who will contribute pounds of money and endless time and +trouble to such affairs sooner than lay an extra shilling or two in +the offertory plate. Every parish is running its little money-making +enterprise at short intervals, the other denominations, whose parish +it is also, doing the same. Sometimes there is an unfriendly +competition between the churches, smart dodges to take the wind out of +a rival's sails; more often they have a tacit fraternal arrangement to +aid each other, or at anyrate not get into each other's way. You will +hear it said at a ladies' working party, "What a shame of the +Catholics to take our conversazione night for their concert!" Or, "The +Presbyterians sent a lot of things to our bazaar, so it is only right +we should help them with theirs." + +The concert is the commonest of these events. It costs, in money, +time, and trouble, less to get up than the others. Domestically, this +is a musical country, and local performers are never hard to find. My +natural impulse is to stay at home when the miscellaneous amateur is +abroad, but sometimes, when I have steeled myself to endure him or +her, I have been rewarded beyond my expectations or deserts. One thing +stands out from my experiences in this line that is worthy of +note--the high average of excellence in the quality of the amateur +voice. I am convinced there are as good fish in the sea as the Melbas +and Crossleys that have come out of it, judging by the number of +little girls, hardly past childhood, whom I have seen come upon the +stage in parish schoolrooms and rural shire-halls, and proceed to give +forth full, ringing notes that, for power, would do justice to the +Albert Hall or the Crystal Palace, and with the right training (as I +think) might do anything. I believe it is the climate that accounts +for it--the air that throat and lungs have grown on; and if so, this +is the place for the speculator in such wares to come to. Expert +fossicking might reveal a new Kimberley to the world. + +Still, in spite of these occasional surprises, the parish +concert--after so many of them--is apt to pall upon the too-accustomed +ear. One looks to the human interest for entertainment, rather than to +art. In what I believe was the very first parish concert that I went +to, this element largely predominated. + +It was held at a hamlet some eight or ten miles from head-quarters, +and we drove to it in a party, taking several of the performers with +us. Before business began, our _prima donna_, a young married lady, +confessed to not feeling very well; she said she had been eating +fruit, which had disagreed with her. However, she went through the two +hours' programme unflinchingly, and so acquitted herself as to rouse +no suspicion of the fact that she herself was perfectly aware of. She +was a tall, handsome, resolute sort of woman, who, finding herself in +a horrible dilemma, determined to brave it out. "I _had_ to do it," +she said to us afterwards, "or else upset everything and make a +disgraceful exhibition of myself. And I thought there would be plenty +of time." But she had miscalculated in this respect, as it is so easy +to do, and the situation had grown desperate before she was nearly +through with her last number; I noted her damp brow and deeply flushed +face, and wondered at the unsmiling look in her eyes when they met +mine; her accompanist also was put about a little here and there; +nevertheless, she made a finish of her song before she bowed to our +applause and bowed herself off the stage. Then a word went round +amongst the matrons which filled us with dismay and concern. The +doctor's horses were put to his buggy, and the doctor and his wife and +Mrs T. were gone ere "God Save the Queen" was finished. When the rest +of us got home afterwards, it was to hear that our _prima donna_ had +become a mother rather less than two minutes after gaining the shelter +of her own house. + +I think that was the most interesting concert I was ever at. Others +who were there, remembering it with equal vividness, say the same. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +THE FOURTH HOME + + +Sad indeed was the breaking-up of that pleasant home at Y----. It +followed upon, and was a consequence of, the death of our little +daughter, when she was nearly a year old. + +These are the times when the Bush dweller feels his geographical +position most keenly--when he needs the best medical advice and cannot +get it. I do not say that our dear old German doctor was not a good +doctor in his way, for he was; but practically nothing had been added +to his knowledge since he was young, and in this case he confessed +frankly that he was altogether at fault. He had never met with a +similar one--nor have I; and after looking up all the authorities at +his command, even to the papers and notes of lectures of his student +days, his honest mind would not pretend to have made itself up. His +professional credit was not so dear to that man as truth. "I don't +know," he said in so many words. And how often I have wondered +whether, if we had been rich, we could have found someone else who +did! Would a special train and a thousand guinea fee have saved her? + +These are questions that shock some of my clerical friends, mothers +amongst them. "It was the Lord's will," they say, and seem to think +that settles it. A few months ago I was spending an evening with a +young curate and his wife, whom I had not met before; they were +ardently religious people, in their own line, and they had recently +lost their only son. The mother gave me the history. He had had an +internal tumour or something of the sort, a growth that steadily +increased, and which the doctors had plainly said must be removed if +his life was to be saved. The parents replied--and they repeated the +words with such proud confidence that they were right words--"No, if +the Lord intends him to get well, he will get well without that." And +instead of the operation--urged by their incumbent, who also gave me +these facts, as well as by other friends--they had prayer-meetings at +the bed-side. The little sufferer, described as a bright boy of nine, +swelled and swelled until he died. "The Lord needed him," said the +mother to me. And "We feel so honoured to have a child in Heaven." She +made my blood run cold. I can never have shocked the "good" people +more than that ultra "good" woman shocked me. + +We left nothing to these chances. When whooping-cough came to the +township, I took extraordinary precautions to keep my children from +catching it. The epidemic was nearly over when the little boy fell a +victim, and then I watched day and night to prevent contact with the +baby. Quite at the last (the lady I have spoken of would have some +remarks to make on this) my efforts were defeated; the baby took it in +spite of me. She was a healthy and happy little soul, and at first her +case seemed just an ordinary one. But after coughing for a week or +two, she ceased to cough suddenly, and fell into strange +fainting-fits; they seized her so silently and swiftly that I hardly +once saw her go into one, although she was in the room with me, and my +eye, as I thought, never off her. A cry from her nurse or somebody +would cause me to jump as if I had been shot, and there lay my little +one, wherever she happened to have been sitting or crawling, exactly +like one dead--grey, limp, eyes sunk, lips drawn back, neither breath +nor heart-beat discoverable. We would snatch her up and rub her and +give her brandy; and after some minutes, more or less, she would +struggle painfully back to life, and as soon as respiration returned +begin to shriek in the most terrible manner, and keep it up until +completely exhausted; then she would drop asleep, remain asleep for a +whole day, perhaps, and awake placid and cooing, ready to be fed and +played with, apparently as well as ever. At intervals of a day, or two +days, she had perhaps half a dozen of these fits; then she had one +that lasted nearly three hours. All the while that she lay in our +arms, we having no hope that she would revive again, a thin stream of +what looked like grey water trickled from one nostril; it was the only +sign of life. The old doctor, having done all he knew, sat looking on, +as helpless as we. However, again she struggled back, and, getting +breath, began that quick, agonising shriek which was so maddening to +hear and impossible to stop. The doctor put his hands to his ears. "I +can't stand it," he said; "I must go outside. Call me if you want me." +After awhile he went home, but the shrieks lasted the greater part of +the night, gradually, as her strength wore out, dying into hoarse +wails and moaning off at last into exhausted sleep. + +She slept the entire day, and I sat by the cradle and watched her, +sopping several handkerchiefs with those foolish tears which I am +supposed to weep for the pleasure of it and could help shedding if I +liked. Then, towards evening, a little hand began playing with the +cradle-frills, and the happy little coo that used to wake me of a +morning broke the silence of the room. I could not believe my eyes and +ears. We sent post-haste for the doctor. Well, there she was, looking +as if nothing had happened. And for three weeks thereafter she had no +more fits, but ate and played, and throve and fattened, apparently +better than she had ever done in her life. + +"Whatever it was," said the doctor, "that last attack has carried it +off. You will see she will be all right now." + +At the end of the three happy weeks that seemed to prove him right, I +gave a little musical party. He brought his flute, and we were in the +middle of a more or less orchestral performance, when I fancied I +heard a cry from the next room--a cry with that peculiar sharp edge to +it that I had so learned to dread. I rushed to the cradle, the doctor +after me, and we lifted the child up and examined her. "Oh, she's all +right," we said, with long breaths of relief; "it was only our noisy +music that disturbed her." We placed the nursemaid on guard, and went +back to the drawing-room, and for the rest of the evening made less +noise, while she made none, but slumbered peacefully. + +In the morning she woke up as usual; that is, I did not know when she +woke. She hardly ever cried to be taken up, but played with her +bed-clothes and her toes, and gurgled and gabbled to herself until I +chose to lift her into my bed. She was in the most blooming condition. +From the time that I dressed her, until breakfast was ready, she +played with the cat on the dining-room floor, and a vivid memory of +the day is of the smothered chuckles of the two servants while G. was +reading prayers, because of the hilarious and irreverent shouts and +crows with which baby enlivened the proceedings. When breakfast came +in she was carried out. At the door her nurse held her up and told her +to say good-bye to her father and mother. The bright little creature, +perfection in my eyes, with her sunny curls and blue eyes and the +little face lit up with the fun of going through her tricks, kissed +her hand and waved it, and nodded and farewelled us in her baby +language, and the door closed upon our last sight of her in life. + +It was my habit to take her for an airing after breakfast, while the +servants helped each other with the housework, and this particular +morning was a glorious one, the crisp, sunny winter morning of +Australian hill country, with the first hint of spring in it. I got +her little cloak and hood and went to the kitchen to fetch her. The +kitchen was large and airy, opening upon the garden, and her cradle +was sometimes placed in a corner there, where she could be watched by +the servants, who were both devoted to her. It was there now, and she +was in it. "She seemed sleepy," said the elder girl, "so we laid her +down." + +"She must have been awake earlier than usual," I thought, and, +stooping over the cradle, I saw her, as I believed--and still +believe--sleeping quietly, carefully tucked up, the little golden head +laid sidewise on the pillow. It was not her bed-time by an hour or +two, but her habit of not telling me when she started the day seemed +to explain the too early sleepiness. I told the girls they were right +to put her down, and went off to the housework on my own account. +Some time later the elder servant came to me where I was busy, G. +being with me. "Oh, ma'am," said she, gaspingly, "I wish you'd come +and look at baby. She's so pale!" G. almost flung me aside lest I +should get to the door first, and dashed to the kitchen. We both knew +instantly what had happened. The servants had not left her for a +moment; she had not made a movement or a sound; she could not have +known what had happened herself, which was something to be thankful +for. One of her strange fits had seized her--the one, at last, that +she would never come out of. Her father snatched her up--lying exactly +as I had left her--and called for the brandy; we tried to pour it down +her throat, where not a drop would go, until she grew quite cold and +rigid in our arms. + +It was the first of these almost insupportable bereavements, and the +effect on my health was so severe that a complete change of +surroundings was considered necessary--to get me away from the house +whose every nook and corner was haunted by such agonising visions of +what had been. G., for his part, could no longer stand the Murray +journeys, involving such long and complete separation at a time when +we needed so much to be together. So he cast about for a more compact +parish, and one offered that fulfilled the requirements--and more. + +It was so far away from Y---- that we had to sell our furniture and +begin at the beginning again. At this auction the amateur sofas went, +and from that time I bought sofas. The new drawing-room was graced +with a "suite" in green rep--such was our taste in pre-exhibition +days--and the sofa was of that curly shape which prohibited repose. By +filling the upper concave end with my big cushions I could make head +and shoulders comfortable, but then there was no scope for legs and +feet; and one had to anchor one's self with the right hand to the +sloping and slippery framework of the back to keep from rolling off. I +never did appreciate that ingenious design, and the suite was no +sooner in its place than I found even the colour of it annoying. To +improve the effect I made holland covers for every piece--pretty +chintzes were unprocurable--and at least a fresher and brighter air +was imparted to the room; but I was not sorry that we had to have +another auction at the end of three years' companionship with the +suite. + +In other ways this fourth home was a great change from the other +three. We were now down in the flat, settled, macadamised country, +only twenty miles or so from Ballarat and fifty from the +metropolis--quite "in the world." I say "down," but it was a colder, +wetter, snowier place to winter in than any other that we have known +on this side of the globe--seventeen hundred feet above sea-level. + +Apart from the trouble I have spoken of, and a bitterer one of the +same nature that was soon to follow it, and the further misfortune of +a carriage accident from the results of which I suffered for many +years, my life at B----, socially considered, was more to my taste +than had been the case before in Australia, or than has been since. +For there I first discovered the resources of the colony in its +intellectually-cultivated class, and enjoyed the society and +friendship of some who represented it at its best--members of a small, +inter-related, highly exclusive circle of about half a dozen families, +who had had time and the means to read, travel, and generally sustain +the traditions of refinement to which they were born. + +Chronologically, they were the first gentlefolk of the land--"Rolf +Boldrewood" speaks of some of them in his _Old Melbourne +Memories_--and they still merit the title in another sense. The clans +have dwindled, indeed, but not all the original heads have fallen yet, +and I have not heard of a _mésalliance_ amongst their descendants. If +they do not marry with each other, they marry with their kind. As with +the Salisburys and Buccleuchs and modern London Society, they remain +uncontaminated by the influences which have made our own little world +of fashion a faint copy of the big one at home. Money, which "runs the +show" elsewhere, is no passport to those dignified homes, dating from +"before the gold," in which I have spent so many happy hours. + +My own passport to it was a little tale in the _Australasian_--my +first to run as a serial in that paper. It is gone now, and was never +worth keeping, but as a story about the colony, written from within, +it aroused interest in its anonymous author at the time, amongst those +whose eyes were keen to note literary events, small as well as big. My +friend, "Rolf Boldrewood," had not yet received the worldwide +recognition that he now enjoys; he was a "Sydneysider," and supposed +to belong to his own colony. Poor "Tasma" had scarcely begun her brief +literary career; Mary Gaunt, and others now on the roll, were mostly +in their nurseries or unborn. So that I had the advantage of a stage +very much to myself, which of course accounted largely for the +attention I received. And of all the pleasure and profit that I +derived from my long connection with the Australian press, nothing +was more valuable to me than the uplifting sympathy of those readers I +have mentioned, who were also as fine critics as any in the world. + +The first night at B---- gave me the key of the position. The one +socially "great house" of our new parish entertained us. Its owner, an +old Wykehamist and cadet of a noble Scottish family, who, having +practically built the church, and being its main supporter, stood for +what would have been the patron of the living at home, himself fetched +us from Ballarat, driving the wonderful "four greys" that were as well +known as he was. Never shall I forget my first sight of that sweet old +house in its incomparable old garden--of the sunset from the plateau +along which we drove to it from the lodge gates, the picture that has +delighted me so many, many times. And never shall I forget my +reception, the dinner, the evening, the sensation of finding myself +suddenly and unexpectedly in a place where brains and good breeding +alone counted, and nothing else was of any consequence. From the hour +that I set foot in that house the situation, as it concerned me +personally, was completely changed. I found, if not my level, the +level which suited me. + +Another house of the charmed circle began to help to make life +interesting for us both. It lay within comfortable driving distance, +and its family had recently returned to it from extensive travels +about the world. The actual structure, to which I paid my first +visits, was a modest relic of the fifties, but already there was +arising from the crest-of a neighbouring hill the most desirable +country house, in its own style, then built or a-building--to my +thinking, at anyrate--the final dwelling-place of the owner of the +surrounding land, who had been its owner from "before the gold." It +was after this home of taste had been completed that we held our +famous International Exhibition of 1880, which first taught us as a +community the rudiments of modern art; and I remember the satisfaction +with which the mistress of G---- wandered from court to court, and +found no exhibits more pleasing, in their respective classes, than the +treasures she had gathered for herself in foreign parts. Whether it +were a Persian rug or a Venetian wine-glass, her specimen was, in her +opinion, unsurpassed by any picked model of the like manufacture; in +which I agreed with her. There is no lack now of what are generally +described as artistic things; hundreds of Victorian homes, big and +little, may in the tastefulness of their appointments outshine G---- +to-day; but it was otherwise twenty years ago. At that date, when we +stay-at-homes were all for gold and white wall-paper and grass-green +suites (but the reader bears in mind that I put holland covers over +mine) in our drawing-rooms, I believe G---- was unique in the colony +as the first example of the new order. I may say here that we became +rapidly ćsthetic afterwards, because it is our constant habit to +follow English fashions ardently as soon as we get an idea of what +they are. + +I had not been long in B---- before I heard of the flattering notice +excited by my story--_Up the Murray_ was its name--and by the +discovery, on the part of our neighbours aforesaid, that the humble +author was living where she was. Arrangements, unbeknown to me, were +made for mutual introductions and acquaintanceship, and one day I was +invited to join a driving party from our "great house"--which I wish +I could describe in less vulgar terms (but to call it B---- would be +confusing)--to meet half-way upon the road a driving party from the +other. The day was beautiful, and I see now before my mind's eye the +panorama of the spring landscape. We halted on the brow of a hill--the +four greys dancing themselves into complicated knots and being +dramatically disentangled with the whip-thong--and down below the +carriage from G---- toiling up the stony Gap track towards us. How +well we learned that road afterwards, going to and fro continually +either in the vehicles of our friends or in our own. If I have ever +done anything to earn a respectable place in my profession I owe it to +the awakening and educating influences that surrounded me at this +time. My intellectual life was never so well-fed and fortified. + +Of Melbourne Society, so called, I knew little as yet. My "set" held +much aloof from it, gathering only its own affinities into the +charming house-parties that brought whiffs of the gay world to us from +time to time. Although I was now so near to it, I do not think I paid +one visit to the metropolis while we lived at B----; invitations I +had, but the inclination was lacking. I was satisfied as I was. We +made expeditions occasionally to Ballarat, then, as now, the second +city of our state, where a small group, long since vanished, of the +old families still resided, to attract our particular old family +thither, and where on our own account we had a few clerical and other +friends to welcome us. One of these expeditions was typical of +several. + +The date it stands against in my diary is September 10th, 1873--the +time of budding spring. Our "squire," with a part of his family, +arrived at the parsonage in the lovely morning, with the "old +carriage," as it was called--a deep-seated, roomy vehicle that I can +hardly give a name to, but which was the easiest and cosiest that I +ever rode in. G. and I joined the party, and we started on our long +drive. It took us about three hours if we did not stop by the way, but +these excursions would have been very incomplete without the roadside +picnic. Picnics were our joy, also our _forte_, and the country is +made for them. So we stopped when we met the groom who had been sent +ahead with fresh horses--the "old carriage" was heavy, and not built +for Australian roads--and we lunched under the gum-trees with that +exquisite appetite that we never know indoors. Then, at our leisure, +on again until we trundled into the streets of the golden city--which, +I may remark in passing, is a truly charming city, and to my mind +ought to be the Federal Capital, if only because of its cool and +bracing climate (although it is also almost exactly central for all +the states as well). But in discussing sites for the future +Washington, no one seems to take into account what an effect upon +legislation a languid air and mosquitoes of a night may have. + +We spent the balance of the afternoon shopping, and were then +deposited, with our evening clothes, at the house of one of the +historical few--perhaps the most witty and world-cultured of them all, +certainly the brightest company. He had been much in France, I think; +he spoke often of Paris, with the air and knowledge of a born +Parisian; his singing of French songs was as un-English as it could +be. It was always said of Colonel R. that he would never be old, and I +met him the other day on a tram, and in the course of our ride +together found him as mentally alert as ever, although he confessed +to me, with a comical dolefulness, that he was some years past eighty. +He still wore his smart, "well-groomed," gallant air (accent on the +first syllable of this adjective, please), and was as ready as of old +with his pretty compliments. + +We dined with him and his wife, and then went all together to the +Academy of Music (newly built) to hear Ilma de Murska. She was a +small, fair-haired, glittering person, with a frilly train like a pink +serpent meandering around her feet, and the way she trilled and +rouladed was amazing. After the concert we had a merry supper, and +then--by this time indifferent to the flight of the hours--changed our +clothes and prepared for the homeward drive. We had but one pair of +horses now for the whole journey, so that it was necessary to take the +hills at a walk, and we reached B---- at about four in the morning. We +inside the carriage could have slept almost as easily as in our beds, +but we were obliged to keep awake to watch the swaying bodies on the +box. It was funny to see us winding scarves round our squire's ample +waist, and tying him to the low rail behind him, without disturbing +his slumbers. These precautions would have been useless, however, had +not one of us stood ready to clutch his sleeve at critical moments. On +finding himself too sleepy for our safety, he had given the reins to +his little son, who was a perfectly competent substitute. But that it +was thought well to tie him into his seat to prevent them from +dragging him over the dashboard, he could at nine or ten years old +drive four horses so well that I preferred to trust myself to him +rather than to any casual man, if I was to ride behind them. + +It was upon one of the hills between B---- and Ballarat that the +accident took place which impaired my health for many years; but then +no member of this family was driving. We had just started after our +picnic lunch on the second stage of the journey, and had come to the +top of a steep bit of road that had a sharp turn at the bottom, when +something went wrong with the brake. The huge, top-heavy vehicle--one +we called "the caravan"--ran upon the horses, which, as usual in Bush +harness, had no breeching to back against, and there was nothing for +it but to send them downhill at full gallop; they did their part, but +the sharp corner was too sharp for us, and as we swung round it we +swung right over. It seemed an inevitable thing, yet I am convinced +that our squire would not have allowed it to happen. He was taking a +brief rest inside the carriage, with the ladies, and so got a broken +arm and a dislocated shoulder, which, together with the disgrace of +the catastrophe, much incensed him. We used to get into marvellous +tight places under his devil-may-care handling of his notoriously +wild, half-broken horses, but never without coming safely out of them; +they were the occasions of proving what a miraculous whip he was. Once +a wheel came off when the team were in mid-career, and in the +twinkling of an eye he had so turned the other three wheels as to +balance the waggonette upon them until its occupants could get out. +One day four other horses were rushed up a broken hill track amongst +trees to some mine workings on the top, and as there was no turning +space here they had to come down backwards. We were showing the +country to some officers of an Italian man-o'-war, and the dumb +dignity with which those men went through the ordeal spoke volumes +for their breeding as well as for their nerve. + + * * * * * + +But I feel clogged and dulled while talking of this place. I do not +want to go on talking of it, but to get past it to scenes that are not +forever associated with sorrows that do not bear thinking of. It was a +pleasant dwelling-place, indeed, but now it remains, even at so great +a distance off, but the stage setting of the second domestic tragedy, +so much more terrible than the first--the death of our eldest son when +he was five. He was one of those bright and beautiful children of whom +people say, when they are gone, "He was too good for this world," and +"He was not meant to live"--that was the first thing my friends said +to me, or I should know my place better than to thus speak of him; and +every year and day your child is with you adds that much more of +strength and depth to the love whose roots are the very substance of +the mother's heart; and the bitterest thing of all is the suffering +you cannot alleviate, and not to lose them at a stroke, which I had +thought so supremely dreadful. After ailing nothing all his life, he +took scarlet fever in its worst form, struggled against it with all +the power of his perfect constitution and brave and patient temper, +rallied and relapsed, got dropsy, and died by inches--conscious nearly +to the last, and only concerned for his mother's tears and the trouble +he was giving people. If he had been humanly restive under the agonies +that he must have borne I could myself have borne it better; it was +his heroic patience and unselfishness--that "Please," and "Thank you," +and "Don't mind," and "Don't cry" which only failed when he could no +longer force his tongue to act--which seemed the most heart-breaking +thing of all. "If you had read of this in a book," they said who +helped to nurse him, "you would never have believed it;" and so I may +expect incredulity from the reader to whom I now have the bad taste to +tell the tale; but whenever I have thought of his conduct during that +last and only trial of his short life, I have realised to the full +what he would have been to us if he had lived. People say to me, "Oh, +you cannot tell how he might have turned out." But I can tell. + +Well, if he had lived he would have been a man of thirty now--married, +doubtless, and perhaps to some woman who would have made him wretched. +There is always that pitfall in the path of the best of men. Also the +success that must have attended the possession of such mental powers +as his would have been a danger. "Don't you teach that child anything +until he is seven at the least," our old German doctor was continually +warning us, and we did not; but somebody gave the child a box of +letters, and he could read the newspaper before he died. If you +recited to him, once, a long narrative poem--"Beth Gelert" or "The +Wreck of the Hesperus"--he would go off to his nurse or somebody and +repeat it from end to end, almost without a mistake. He had a passion +for mechanics, and, having seen a railway or mining or agricultural +engine at work, would come home and, with bits of string and +cotton-reels and any rubbish he could lay his hands on, make a model +of it in which no essential part was lacking. The frequent appeal at +the study door, "Just a few nails, please, daddy, and I won't 'sturb +you any more," was the nearest he came to teasing anybody. + +Well, he died at five years old, and the common impulse of all who +knew him, including his fool of a mother, was to say, "Of course!" I +was childless for a fortnight. Then another little daughter came, as +it seemed, to save my life. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +THE FIFTH HOME + + +We left B---- in 1877. The diocese of Ballarat had been carved out of +that of Melbourne, hitherto bounded by the boundaries of the colony; +and the knife had lopped off a portion of our parish, leaving only +enough to support a "reader," who is supposed not to want anything to +live on. + +We passed then into the new diocese. And, to begin with, we did a +stupid thing--possibly two stupid things. G., after consultation with +his bishop, accepted a living without seeing it. A charming photograph +of the parsonage, and the knowledge that it was situated in a pleasant +district, within a short drive of our then metropolis, Ballarat, +seemed to make a preliminary inspection unnecessary, especially as the +financial soundness of the parish was guaranteed. We had dismantled +our house at B---- and packed our furniture for L---- before personally +making acquaintance with the latter place. Then--for I was fretting to +see and rummage over my new home with a measuring tape in my hands--we +arranged to drive over. It was on a Saturday that we started, in very +wintry weather; and all our subsequent lives might have been different +if only it had been summer or a fine day. + +We spent the night in Ballarat, and after breakfast drove to L----, +timing ourselves to get there for morning service, G. having taken +duty for the day. It teemed. There was hardly any congregation in +consequence, and the church was dark, cold, and dismal. Amongst the +absentees was the organist, and I was called upon to play the selected +music, without preparation, to a few watchful critics. They gave us a +kindly welcome after service, and invitations to dinner and tea; after +which we were able to inspect the parsonage in privacy. It had been +empty for some weeks, and rain had rained on it for days. The +picturesqueness of the photograph had been wholly washed away. We +should have made allowances for all this, but when we found one room +with the paper peeling from the wall, and another showing a wet patch, +and when we sniffed the fusty, mouldy, shut-up air, we exclaimed to +each other, "A damp house!" and there and then determined that it was +impossible for us to go into it. We had lost two children; nothing +should induce us to imperil the safety of the third. + +At dinner, and again at tea, our entertainers apologised for the +exceptional weather, and assured us that all was quite otherwise as a +rule. The parsonage needed fires for a few days, perhaps a patch on +the roof, possibly the clearing of leaves and birds' nests from the +water-pipes. They answered for it that, when in order, it was a +perfectly healthy house. I daresay they were right, for we never heard +that the family of the clergyman who subsequently jumped at it took +any harm while living there. But the possibility of its being damp was +enough for us; we dared not risk it. + +It was with some difficulty, and not without unpleasantness, that we +backed out of the engagement we had deliberately made. It was our +unexpected luck not to suffer more than we did. In the end, instead of +declining upon a lower level in the matter of the next appointment, it +fell to our lot to be promoted to what I think was considered at the +time the most important country parish in the diocese. + +Here, at anyrate, there was no fault to find with the parsonage house, +unless one objected to its lonely situation--which we did not. As a +parsonage house it was unique in Victoria, and I believe in Australia. +The wayfaring stranger might have taken it for but another station +homestead, on a smaller scale than most; as a fact, he frequently did, +in the person of the professional sundowner. + +We did not go there at once on leaving B----. Our first welcome was to +one of the "mansions" in its neighbourhood--the seat, as it might be +called, of the new squire of the parish--and such was the treatment we +received in it that we remained there as visitors for nearly half a +year. The lady of the house was young, and we became friends. She +said, "Why should I be here by myself, while you are over there by +yourself? Let us keep each other company." Never did I live in such +utter ease and luxury. Men and maid-servants to wait on one at every +turn, and to pet the year-old baby so that even her nurse found her +place a sinecure; a dear old housekeeper continually pursuing me with +"nourishment"; daily drives with my hostess, alone or with a cavalcade +of more ephemeral guests--so numerous that we seemed to have a +dinner-party every night; no domestic cares; no parish work--the +conditions were not only pleasant, but most beneficial to my health. +Meanwhile G. worked the parish from this base, using the horses and +buggies of the establishment as if they were his own. + +From July 25th, 1877, to January 8th of the following year, we lived +this feather-bed life. Then our friends set us gently down upon our +own premises--there had been a doubt as to whether they were to be our +own, up to this time, which partly accounted for the delay--and +started us in life again on our own base. A Brussels carpet from one, +a set of tea-things from another--it was like the going to +housekeeping of the newly-married. The buggy that finally took us to +our fifth home was found on arrival packed with toothsome tokens of +affection which the housekeeper had stuffed in at the last moment. + +That fifth home was a survival of the old, old times--quite the +beginnings of the colony. In those old times, before townships were, +the princely pioneer squatters (our late host the chief), wishing to +have their church represented amongst them, made a first gift for the +purpose of one hundred acres of their fat lands and a house--the +nucleus of this house. It was an inalienable endowment, not to any +parish--for there was none--but to the incumbent for the time being; +so that afterwards, when it came to belong to a parish, whose centre +of town and church was six miles off, the vestry could not turn it +into money, as they desired, so as to bring their parson to +headquarters. + +The first incumbent--a D.D. eminent in the Church and in the history +of the Western District, a pioneer himself, whose name is now +perpetuated in a Trinity College scholarship--began his long ministry +as a missionary at large. He saw all the changes that turned that +fertile wilderness into the garden of Victoria, studded with wealthy +homesteads and prosperous towns, while sitting, as Dik would say, upon +his own valuable bit of it, living the same pastoral life as the +squatters around him. The reader will remember that the term +"squatter," with us, means roughly the landed gentry; in its original +sense the word has no meaning now. + +In his old age Dr R. went "home" for a holiday, leaving two curates in +charge. Shortly before he was expected back, came the news of his +death, and, after a sorrowful time of inaction on the part of the +mourning parish, G. was selected to take his place. It was always +impressed upon us that it was to take his place, not to fill it, which +nobody could do. + +For six years we lived as he lived. Then the authorities six miles off +decided to put an end to the old _régime_. Incumbent No. 3 had to be +brought into line with other incumbents somehow. His property could +not be sold, but apparently (with his consent, I presume) it could be +let; for let it was, as soon as we had vacated it. Tenants of a class +to suit the house needed more than a hundred acres of land with it, so +it was let to a farmer, an ex-free-selector, whose selection adjoined. +He took up his abode in what we called the "old part"--the original +house (our kitchens, store-rooms, etc.), to which, according to Bush +custom, another and better had been attached, the two being connected +by a planked, bark-roofed, trellis-walled passage; and he used my +drawing-room and our other living-rooms to stack his produce in. And +the parson went to live in the town, beside his church--in a +corrugated iron house that was run up for him. + +I am glad it was he--not his predecessor. There is no ill-nature in +this, seeing that he doubtless congratulated himself also. For he +could get daily letters and newspapers, immediate access to the +stores, the schools, the church, the doctor, and next-door neighbours; +whereas we were often in straits owing to our six miles' distance from +them. Between us and the road lay a (to us) bridgeless river--it is +called a river--which it was necessary to pass to get to church and +back, and at the best of times its banks at the crossing-place were so +steep down and up again that I dreaded the spot on a dark night, after +going through it in safety hundreds of times, and after all the +breaking-in to such things that I had had. Its flood-water used to +overflow into what we called our "lane," the unavoidable approach to +the house, covering the fences on either side in the lower parts, +which between-whiles were either soft bogs or rough ruts and ridges +like those of a frosted ploughed field. Owing to these lions in the +path, we had few visitors in winter. In summer there were Bush +fires--of which I will say more presently. + +Then there were long waits for the doctor in dire emergencies, and +per-mile fees (if the doctor were non-Church-of-England, or you could +successfully save yourself from taking charity) for his tardy +attendance. Our groom nearly killed a pair of horses one night--when a +commonplace domestic event was impending--trying to make them do +twelve miles in time that would but comfortably cover four. One day my +nurse and I found a white speck on the throat of the youngest baby, +when no man or buggy or even wood-cart was at home. While I looked at +my devoted colleague in despair she began briskly to gather and tie on +our respective hats. "We have to get him to the doctor somehow," said +she. And off we started, and carried him (he was then twenty-one +months old), turn and turn about, the whole six miles, all up-hill, +since there was practically no alternative. As it chanced, the doctor, +when we got to him--dead beat as ever women were--laughed at the +baby's throat; but the incident illustrates some of the drawbacks of +our isolated life which were not suffered by our successors. + +Household supplies had to be laid in wholesale--sacks of sugar and +flour, chests of tea, boxes of kerosene and candles. We had to make +our own bread, and our own yeast for it; we had to kill our own mutton +and dress it; gather our own firewood and chop it. This meant keeping +a man (for the first time); beside whom we had a general servant, a +nurse, and a young lady companion. + +The kitchen party were not at all lonely in these wilds. They had +friends on the neighbouring stations and farms, with whom they +foregathered in their leisure hours; they had many picnics and +excursions to the town; they gave a ball every Christmas (which rather +scandalised a section of the parish, although the rigid etiquette +observed at them might have been copied with advantage in higher +circles), and were tendered balls in return. At ordinary times they +seemed sufficient for themselves. Sitting in my detached house of an +evening, I would hear cheerful sounds from the other building, and, +being mysteriously summoned thither, would find the groom, with his +concertina, playing reels and jigs for the little ones to dance to, +the dancing-mistresses standing by to enjoy the achievements of their +pupils and the surprise they had prepared for me. + +A new member was added to the household in a singular manner. The +selectors with families needed a school. To get a school, Government +had to be assured that so many children--twenty-five or +thereabouts--were entitled to it; and the parents came to ask if we +would aid them to make up the number. Our three were babies, and we +certainly did not mean to foist them on the State for their education, +but we somehow reconciled it with our consciences to sign the +requisition on our poorer neighbours' behalf. Thus they got their +school--a tiny white wooden building, and one teacher. The building, +consisting of schoolroom and teacher's quarters, was set up on the +public highway, just outside our outer gate, on the bank of the +so-called river (where the bridge was), a night camping-place of all +the teamsters and drovers on the road; and the teacher appointed to +live there, beyond call of any other house, was a good-looking young +woman. + +She came to us one day in great distress--perplexity, rather, for she +was far too sensible to make a fuss. She could not, under the +circumstances, live alone in her school quarters, and she had tried in +vain to find lodgings in the farmers' cottages: they were all too +small and full. What should she do? + +She was an extremely nice girl, and, finding we could solve her +difficulty in no other way, we took her in ourselves. Strange to say, +the experiment answered admirably. In the servants' house there was a +large spare room, which had once been Dr R.'s study. We put a screen +across the middle of it, made a bedroom behind and a simple +sitting-room in front, and there installed her. She attended to her +own little housework, and the servants took her in her meals from the +adjacent kitchen--a job to which they had no objection in the world; +and she used to sit in her basket-chair on their common verandah and +pass the time of day with them when so inclined, and adjusted herself +to the position generally with perfect taste, just as they did. To us +personally she made no difference whatever, except in her services to +the children. She paid us the trifle that covered the cost of her +board, and as a further return for hospitality took the two older +little ones to school with her once a day, taught and specially +shepherded them while there, and brought them back again. So, by +accident, we kept faith with the Government after all; and anything +like the rapidity and thoroughness with which all the drudgery of the +three R's was got through in that little school-house I never saw. I +used to walk over the paddock of an afternoon to see the process. We +made a new track across the paddock with our goings and comings, the +home-returning before nursery tea being usually a family procession, +led by the baby's perambulator. We were amused one wet winter to find +Miss C. and her charges making a bridge of a bullock's carcase that +conveniently spanned a muddy rift. They went over it, they said, until +the ribs bent too much and threatened to "let them through." + +Besides the milking cows of the establishment, we always had a herd of +bullocks on the place. We bought them as "store," intending to sell +them as "fats"--intending, indeed, to make our fortunes as land-owners +and cattle-dealers. Our hundred acres were notoriously one of the rich +patches of the district, coveted by our wealthy neighbours as badly as +ever Ahab coveted Naboth's vineyard; anything could be made of it--on +paper. + +Alas! the usual fate of the amateur farmer befell us. Perhaps we were +not there long enough. Certainly we had the worst of luck in the +matter of seasons. It was one long series of droughts, punctuated by +those floods already alluded to, which came at the wrong time to +benefit the grass. The store cattle would not make fat, on which we +could make profit; the precious "water-frontage," when it became a +rope of sand threaded with water-holes, unfenced one side of the +property, allowing the stock to stray at large. The stock, also, by +degrees became largely composed of unproductive horses, those +happening to be G.'s special weakness and temptation. He had an +assortment, continually being added to, for his own riding, and we had +two concurrent pairs for the buggy; the groom had one or two for his +constant journeys to the post, and there was one for the wood-cart. +They were for ever going to be shod, or they met with accidents and +had to be replaced. The most valuable that we ever possessed was +pricked in the haunch with a point of fencing wire--a wound almost +invisible to the naked eye--and died of lockjaw from it. + +Finally, we let fifty acres to a real farmer at Ł1 per acre. He +strongly fenced this off, and grew lovely crops of corn on it. And I +think that was about all the "increment" we enjoyed. + +Here we learned something of what Bush settlers have to suffer in our +frequent years of drought. We had a large underground rain tank, with +a pump to it, but there were times when it seemed a perfect sin to +wash. Our selector neighbours had only their zinc tanks and the +river--muddy, and fouled by creatures alive and dead; and the nurse +and children used to make it an object of their summer evening walks +to carry little cans of water to their friends, to make at least one +nice cup of tea with. It was regarded as a handsome present. Hydatids +raged over the country-side. Two of our servants (who married each +other, and went to live at the school-house by the river, in Miss C.'s +empty quarters) were crippled with the disease. + +"The reservoiring of rain-water is the greatest economic question in +South Africa," says the Subaltern in those charming _Letters to His +Wife_. "At present little or nothing is done to combat drought." The +same here, to the very word and letter. Another thing he says:--"After +all, it is the atmospheric conditions that make the veldt, and give +their character to its children." That applies as exactly to the +Australian Bush. + +A young soldier of ours came home from the war the other day. He had +been in seventy-five engagements, and might reasonably have felt a +little sick of South Africa. But no. "When it is all over, I am going +back there to settle," said he. "The climate and the country--somehow +they just suit me." + +Those hills around us, in formation like bread-dough turned out upon +the board and just beginning to sink--low and softly wavy, like the +Sussex Downs--were as good as tropical seas for the sun to set on, and +better. Such lights! Such tints! Such purity! Apply to them the +Subaltern's description of the uplands of the Orange River Colony--of +the sunset that he saw as he rode to Bloemfontein--and there you are. +I need not add a word. + +We were very close to Nature at this place. The wild things lived with +us even more intimately than at Como. Opossums did not keep to the +river; they loved the fruity old garden, and stuck to it in spite of +dogs and guns. Driving home o' nights we used to see them sitting on +the house roofs, silhouetted against the sky, and they used to keep us +awake with their talk to each other in a tree near our bedroom window. +On one occasion we were roused by the nurse calling to us that a +'possum had come down the chimney, and was flying round the nursery +and smashing everything. A candle and a stick soon ended the career of +that enterprising little animal. + +We had all the birds of the country flighting over us in the grey +dawns and the golden twilights. The lovely gabble of the cranes and +the wild swans comes back to me whenever I think of the place. My +diary records that on one occasion we had a young native companion, +"roast, with forcemeat," for dinner, and that it was "delicious." Also +that, two days later, we experimented upon a swan, and found it "not +so good." The gun, of course, went out for duck and snipe and quail in +their season, to vary the too-constant mutton. They were not easy to +get, for this is no true game country, but those huge sheep stations, +with their lonely dams, were practically wild country for them. + +In the elbow of the river at the corner of our paddock we used to +watch for the platypus, which had a home there, under the broken +banks. Four of these precious rarities were shot in the six years--we +are sorry for that now, but were proud of it at the time--and the +house smelt horribly while their dense, oily coats were being stripped +off and dressed. The same river provided a beautiful set of furs for +my friend at M----; they were made of the golden-brown skins of +water-rats, caught and cured for her by her butler. There, too, we +used to sit amid the evening mosquitoes, and angle for black-fish and +"yabbies." It was a corner much beloved by school-boys of our +acquaintance with Saturday afternoons or long twilights upon their +hands. One young fellow, the son of a lawyer in the town, spent many +patient hours there, all alone; but we, prolonging his enjoyment by +the offer of a meal or a bed, would sometimes look on at his tranquil +sport, amused by his methods. When he needed to bait a hook, he bent +the crown of his head earthward and took off his cap gingerly, +afterwards combing his rough locks with his grubby paw. He kept his +worms there, between his cap lining and his hair; it saved the trouble +of a bait-can. When he caught a fish, he slipped it into his pocket, +where it tangled itself with his handkerchief and oddments in its +dying throes. We were somewhat nicer in our proceedings. Neat little +blobs of meat at the end of strings were let down into the water, and +when the tiny cray-fish fastened upon them they were lifted delicately +into the air, the whole art consisting in not frightening them into +dropping off until the bank was under them. Nothing messy or murderous +or offensive to the sensibilities of women and children--until the +black creatures were boiled red for tea or breakfast, and that was +done by the cook in private, and we tried not to know anything about +it. A few dozens of them, warm from the pot, with bread and butter, +made a delicious meal. + +But Nature took toll of us in return for what she gave. Eagle-hawks, +that hankered after the lambs, and their lesser brethren that were +interested in the poultry, hares that loved young vegetables with the +morning dew upon them, nocturnal wildcats, and the tame cats gone wild +that were far worse than they--for them, too, the gun was kept in +readiness, and, alas! I grieve to say, the trap. Once we had an +extraordinary visitation of caterpillars; a dense, enormous mass, +marching straight in one direction, taking everything as it came. We +were in its path, and, until it had disentangled itself from the +premises, were simply overwhelmed. We barricaded all doors and +windows; we tried, like so many Mrs Partingtons, to sweep back the +living waves with brooms--in vain; those little, soft, green things +were as irresistible as the sea. We ran about, shuddering and in +tears, while they crawled up legs and arms, and down necks, and +amongst our hair; we went into the dairy to find them lining roofs and +walls and drowning all over the cream in every milk-pan--went to bed +to find sheets and pillows thick with them. No plague of Egypt could +have been more agonising while it lasted, which, fortunately, was not +long. They did not even stay to eat the garden up, as the grasshoppers +did when similarly out on a big march. Some end they had in view and +pursued relentlessly, without a pause. It was a phenomenon never, in +my experience, repeated or explained. + +But the terror of terrors was--fire. The land was rich, the years were +droughty, and we the innocent victims of a systematic incendiarism +directed against somebody else. The somebody else was like the Russian +Government, all palace and diamonds at the top and all black bread and +taxes at the bottom; or like the Government that we here groan under, +which acts upon the theory that the more you cut down trade the more +money you will get out of it. A station that "marched" with our +Naboth's vineyard had a black mark against it. + +Why does the Australian pastoralist provide free board and lodging +for every loafer that comes for them, instead of kicking him out and +telling him to go to work? Because he knows how easily and safely the +loafer could avenge himself if sent empty away--and how well the +loafer knows that he knows it. There is a tacit understanding between +them. The wise blackmailer is easy in his demands--the regulation +allowance and no more--and the blackmailed is glad to purchase +valuable good-will at no greater cost. It is one of the oldest +institutions of the country, which even we upon our hundred acres +would not have dared to flout. Our wealthy but frugal neighbour did, +as we were told, and reaped the consequences--which would not have +mattered much if the undeserving poor had not stood in the path of the +reaper. Thus, for weeks together, G. and his man never put up their +horses at night until they had circled round and round the place, +looking for little trails of dead sticks and straw carefully led into +a fat paddock that was not ours, as a fuse to a mine. One Sunday +night, on the way home from church, without looking for them--because +they were all alight, though refusing to burn effectively without a +wind--he found three. + +This was in what we call the "fire year." That summer we had ten in +almost ten consecutive days, each of which menaced the mass of old +sun-dried woodwork in which we lived. Two horses stood ready to mount +at the first signal, every homestead around being similarly prepared. +We slept with blinds up and windows open, and anyone waking would at +once jump up and go out and look into the night for the dreaded flare. +No matter where it was, or when, the men were off to it with the speed +of professional firemen; and if it was near, or the wind towards us, +we women started to make bucketsful of tea to send out to them. +Helpless with a new-born baby, I used to lie and smell the smoke and +listen to the flap of the bags, and wonder what was happening, and +nearly died from want of rest. One morning one of us unluckily +remarked that "actually here was breakfast nearly over, and no fire!" +Scarcely were the words uttered before the groom appeared with his +"Fire, sir!" and the next instant both were galloping across the +downs, to join other horsemen converging from all points of the +compass upon the same spot. It was Saturday morning, and that battle +lasted into Sunday, when we could have walked, we were told, ten miles +in a straight line from our back door without going off burnt ground. +One other morning, when I was well enough for a drive and wanted to do +some shopping, and it seemed safe to leave home for an hour or two, G. +took me to the township. We were hurrying through our business in the +street when a man came up and said to G., "There's a fire over your +way, sir." We had a pair of very fast horses, and we flew down those +hills in record time. Reaching home, we found our good neighbours +pouring water over the charred posts of the garden fence. + +Of course, this was not all incendiarism. Even the aggrieved sundowner +is not so bad as that. Under suitable conditions, nothing is easier +than to start a blaze that flies out of your hand before you see the +spark. A castaway bottle, a little ash knocked out of a pipe, will do +it. My own eyes have proved to me from what a small cause a great +conflagration may result. A cavalcade of vehicles from M----, while +we were staying there, was on the road to church; it was a well-used, +fenced Bush road, all dust and wild peppermint weed--a fire-break in +itself, one would have thought. But I, in the second buggy, saw a +flicker under the wheel of the first; it ran from one scrap of tinder +to another and was away over the country before one could draw breath. +"Like wildfire" is the best image for speed that I know. It used to +pour over those grassy rises just as released water does, a spreading +black stream with a scintillating yellow edge; not a menace to life as +in forest country, but sickening to the heart of one who knows his +home to windward of it, and knows the frailty of the most +carefully-prepared "break." The buggies were stopped, the men in their +Sunday coats out and after it on the instant, but there was no church +that day for any male of the party except the parson. An examination +of the spot where the fire started showed that the buggy wheel had +passed over a wax match. The unwritten law of the Bush is that no +matches must come into it, at these times, except the wooden ones +guaranteed to strike on the box only. + +The "fire year"--or the fire summer rather (1879-80)--is literally +burnt into my memory. Now, when I smell Bush smoke I feel as I would +at the sudden sight of blood in large quantities. All those old scenes +come back, and the old terror of the nerves, which were strained so +long that the effect upon me was something like what in pre-scientific +days was called going into a decline. My strength refused to return +after the birth of the child that arrived in the middle of the ordeal, +so that at last I had to be sent away out of sight, sound, and smell +of the place, to give me a chance to recover. But the worst was over +before I went. We were sitting at tea one night--evening dinners, by +the way, had early been given up--when there suddenly fell upon our +ears the sound of rain pattering. We nearly jumped from our chairs; we +looked at each other, beyond speech; and then I burst into a fit of +hysterical tears--some of the happiest I ever shed. + +In the evening a neighbour rode over--for the first time, as he +remarked, without his sack on the saddle, and for the first time on +any errand unconnected with its use. We had all been keeping guard of +our homes for weeks that had seemed years, friends meeting only on the +field of battle--as heroic a field of battle as those that our +"contingenters" went to, and better than the playing-fields of Eton as +a preparation for them; but we were free at last. And we could hardly +realise it. All the evening we sat, almost in silence, inanely +smirking at each other and listening to the rain. It was too sweet a +sound to drown with talk. + +The "old parsonage" was (allowing again for the enchantment that +distance lends) a charming home; but it had that against it. I have +been glad ever since to live where there is nothing more to do than +turn the gas off at the meter when one goes to bed. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +THE SIXTH HOME + + +The charms of solitude at "The Old Parsonage" were outweighed by its +disadvantages when I became that miserable creature, the confirmed +invalid. The fire danger which made me nervous in summer was bad for +health; the silence and loneliness of the winters, when nobody came, +were worse. My husband, of course, was much away from home; the +servants lived in their detached house; and so good and capable were +they that for a time--after the elder babies began to go with Miss C. +to school--I saved the expense of my dear little lady-help, who, +however, came back to me later on. It was only with the greatest +difficulty that I could get hold of my own children. Their devoted +nurse and mine, already mentioned, watched us like a cat to keep us +apart, lest their exuberance should fatigue me. The hour before tea +(not afternoon tea, but the solid evening meal) was grudgingly +conceded to us. Maria--she, like Dik, is dead, and I may give her the +name now held in so much love and honour--would then bring them, +beautifully brushed and garbed (she used to put clean socks and +pinafores on them twice a day, although there was nobody but ourselves +to see them), to my sofa side, and permit us to play together, +provided we behaved ourselves. All the while she hovered in the +doorway to see that I was not clambered over or roughly handled in any +way, and long before time was up would advance to sweep them out, with +her "Come now, I can see that mother is getting tired." She saw it +before I did. They were as good as gold, thanks to her splendid +training. Never were such model children--until the day that, as a +broken-hearted bride, she parted from them, when they "played up" in a +manner to drive the house distracted. When they had their little aches +and pains, and I used to beg Maria to let them sleep in my room, she +would not allow it. Many a time have I surreptitiously carried a +fretful child to my bed, and settled down with it comfortably, as I +thought, and then had it gently but firmly taken from me, despite my +expostulations. I had, at anyrate, the comfort of knowing that no +mother could tend them better than she did, and the theory of the +household that I was not strong enough to stand anything had some +foundation in fact. But my inactive life--although I still got through +a large amount of sewing and novel-writing--and my many hours of +brooding solitude, had their own bad effect upon my broken health. +There came a day when I declared, with tears, that if I had to spend +another winter in that place I should go melancholy mad. + +So I did not spend another. G. also had had enough of it. And +particularly he wanted to get back to the Melbourne diocese, from +which he had been automatically expelled. But although he had been +automatically expelled, his old diocese held him to be a legal +stranger when he applied for re-admittance. It had a regulation, since +abrogated, that no clergyman from outside could take a living until he +had served unbeneficed for a year; and no exception was made in his +peculiar case. However, we freely paid the price to get our +way--exchanged our substantial parish, secure for life, had we so +willed it, for a humble curacy, which might lead to anything or +nothing--and on the 16th of November 1883 left the old parsonage for a +home that was the greatest possible contrast to it--a grubby little +terrace house in a low part of one of our premier cities--a house we +had to take as the only one in our new parish that was then available. +Our principal occupation and amusement during the short time that we +lived there was hunting for another, which fortunately we had not +found when the summons came to us again to move on. + +But there was an interval between the uprooting in the Western +District and the re-planting in this cramped spot--for the children +and me. The elder ones were placed with some friends who kept a +kindergarten at the seaside, and the baby and Maria accompanied me on +a round of visits which lasted into January of the following year. +This was perhaps the gayest period of my life, in spite of increasing +invalidism. Socially it was the most brilliant era that Victoria has +known in my time, and I was so placed that the best of everything came +my way. The house that was my town head-quarters for many years then +possessed its magnet of a daughter--now on the roll of the grandees of +England, by her marriage an aunt to Royalty--and wherever she was, +there was good company and plenty of it, for she had her pick and +choice. And there for the time being was I also, for we were close +friends, as we remain to this day, none of the usual arguments of the +world against it having had any effect upon that faithful heart. + +And this reminds me to make--as in these intimate disclosures I have +an opportunity to do--a little explanation. When I wrote a novel +called _The Devastators_, I knew that I was laying down a rule +contradicted in my own circle by two glaring exceptions. This bright +and beautiful woman is one of them; the other is a person still nearer +to me. I had to apologise to both of them when that book came out. +From their childhood they have been exposed to flatteries that should +have spoiled them utterly; both have proved unspoilable. In the case +of one of the pretty faces, it does not even care to look at itself in +the glass; the mere ordinary vanity of the ordinary female is lacking. +So that to this large extent my theory of the effect of physical charm +upon its possessor is discredited. While I am glad to state the fact, +I am sorry to remain of the opinion that such exceptions are +exceptions, and that the rule is still the rule. + +With the elder of the incorruptible pair--the younger was then a small +child--I had great times in Melbourne, varying my social revels with a +visit to the doctor twice or thrice a week. The distinguished +globe-trotter was plentiful at that time. Lord and Lady Rosebery, +amongst others, were touring the colonies and the houses of some of my +friends. At one I spent three days with them. At another I had a still +more interesting week-end with Archibald Forbes. He came nearest to +the popular newspaper presentment of him, but I have little faith left +in printed history when it deals with the inner lives of my +illustrious contemporaries; from which it logically follows that I am +a hopeless sceptic in respect of the printed history of the past. "It +may have been thus," think I, when I con the so-called authentic +records of my race in this or that particular, "but I wish I could +have been there to see for myself." + +It is not for me, a fellow-guest, to play reporter, but some incidents +of those occasions when I could study England and Australia in +conjunction upon the domestic stage may be mentioned without offence +to taste or hospitality. For instance:--One fine afternoon the +house-party, which included the Roseberys, went out to the tennis +ground of the establishment. When we arrived there we found the +beautiful grass court, kept like a bowling green, in the possession of +a crowd of strangers, holiday trippers of the 'Arry and 'Arriet type; +they had invaded the grounds from the railway near by, had found +racquets and balls, and were in the middle of an exciting game. Did +they scurry away, scared, on the appearance of the smart folks from +the house? Did anybody order them off, or even request them to desist? +Not a bit of it. They calmly continued their game, which took a long +time, while we sat down meekly and waited. When they had quite done +they trooped away without a word, and then Lord Rosebery wearily took +up his racquet and started in. Typically Australian as this incident +was, I cannot imagine it happening to those older great houses spoken +of in a former chapter--houses of no particular size, as far as their +material fabric is concerned, and with no liveried servants attached +to them, but of a dignity secure of public respect, even in this +disrespectful country. + +Male house-servants, by the way, and men's valets, seem to me quite +out of harmony with the domestic traditions of this land. With us they +mark no caste, save that of wealth, and belong mainly to those who do +not know what to do with them. I have sat at breakfast with a regiment +of men in full-dress livery in waiting round the table--a degree of +state that, to the best of my belief, an English duke dispenses +with--and this in a house with no morning-room to go to when breakfast +was over, but only the same gilded and satiny drawing-room used +over-night; and where guests who had never done such a thing in their +lives might find themselves put to sleep in the same room with +strangers. A young titled Englishman, to whom this happened, cut his +acquaintance with the place in consequence, although his entertainers +never knew it. My "old families" are very chary of these exotic +innovations, and, whatever one's aristocratic leanings, it does hurt +one to think of an Australian man--synonym for simple and hardy +manliness--submitting to be dressed and coddled by a trousered +lady's-maid, and to think of another Australian man condescending to +that sort of servitude. But no Australian man does condescend to it, I +am sure; the Australian valet, as well as his liveried house-mates, is +an imported article. + +Against the lady's-maid in petticoats, who outnumbers him a hundred to +one, I have nothing to say--quite the contrary. She is a "grateful and +comforting" institution in this country, so far as I have known her, +and three representatives of her class are on my list of friends. I +like a lady's-maid myself at times, and my own Maria took up the +_rôle_ as one to the manner born when she and I were visiting "the +quality" together. She packed and unpacked, and sewed tuckers, and +laid out my evening clothes, and was as jealous of my dignity and her +own, amongst strange servants, as if we had been grandees all our +lives. I was envied the possession of her. "How do you come to have a +woman like that?" said a person of wealth and consequence to me one +day. "Why doesn't she go to the good houses? She would be snapped up +anywhere. She could command any wages she liked to ask." "Well," said +I, with a serene smile, "you offer her a better place. I will not +stand in her way if she likes to take it." Maria's father was overseer +of a great station, and she had never been in service until she came +to me. I knew no bribe short of a husband and home of her own would +entice her to leave me. + +Charming associations surround the spot where I foregathered with the +great war correspondent. There is a Mount--for it is not quite a +mountain, while it is much more than a hill--situated forty-four miles +from Melbourne and about seventeen hundred feet above it. In its +natural state every inch was covered with forest trees and scrub, so +that our mutual friend and host, who was one of the first to make a +residential suburb of it, had to chop out a hole in the dense growth +upon the steep hill-side to see where he was, when prospecting for a +site on which to make a home. That home, when I began to frequent it, +had become the show-place of the district. The pretty house made no +pretensions to be more than a cottage, but the garden was notoriously +one of the loveliest in the land. Its owner was a gardener born; he +came up twice a week to his family from his business in town and his +bachelor quarters at the Melbourne Club, and revelled in his darling +pursuit through all his leisure hours. His head gardener was an +importation from famous gardens at home; he had a salary of Ł200 a +year, a house in the grounds, and two men under him; and all their +work was exquisite. The garden dropped down and down, from the terrace +that had been cut for the house to stand on, to an artificial lake at +the bottom--velvet lawns and precious trees and shrubs, with a "fern +gully" on one side of it, where you stepped down a glade dark with +arching fronds, protecting thickets of innumerable rare varieties, +from New Zealand and elsewhere, kept moist and cooled by a perennial +cascade of crystal-clear mountain water, punctuated at intervals by +pools with goldfish or water-flowers in them. In the spring that fairy +tunnel was carpeted with lilies of the valley in myriads--the only +place where I have seen them growing in this country, except in +flower-pots. Up under the verandah roofs red bells of lapageria used +to hang like a drapery, and the treasures of the unpretentious glass +houses into which the sitting-rooms opened were beyond count. It was a +fitting environment for one of the finest flower-painters of her +day--known far beyond the limits of these realms, as, indeed, so is +the place which reared her. Many a globe-trotter would recall it if he +chanced to read these words. The Prince of Wales and his brother, when +they were boys, stayed here; their noble chief took the opportunity to +choose a wife for himself out of the house, a sister of the gifted +lady who painted flowers so marvellously, and with whom Archibald +Forbes fell--in a strictly platonic fashion, of course, for she was +already married and he about to become so for the second time--so +deeply in love. He raved about her in an English magazine article +after he got home. He said she was ... but there is the article (in a +bound volume) to speak for itself. + +It was winter when I went to this house to meet him. Beautiful as the +place was in warmer seasons, abloom with flowers, when one sat under +trees to read, and, looking up from one's book, looked down again upon +the glimmering city and the sea fifty miles away, I think it was in +winter that I liked it best. Oh, it was cold! Wrapped about with +mountain mists or with whirling snow, it was like an Alpine _chalet_; +but one came in out of this weather to great wood-fires with cushioned +basket-chairs beside them--a fire to each room--and that was an effect +that could not have been surpassed. It poured with rain on the night I +speak of. I was staying at a neighbouring country-house, and joined +the Saturday party coming up from town at a wayside station. A son of +my host, who had been through the Russo-Turkish war with Archibald +Forbes--one on one side, one on the other--was with them; and fine +company they made, with their deadly reminiscences. They had met on +the bloody field of Plevna, the most vivid incident of which, it +appeared, was a banquet upon a looted German sausage (I think it was) +when both were starving. + +We passed, in dripping mackintoshes, across the little platform lonely +in the scrub--there is a considerable station there now, and the Mount +is populous with country-houses--to the covered waggonette awaiting +us. Up the steep and miry Bush track, then like any other Bush track, +the poor horses strained and struggled, slipped and fell. The men had +to get out and do the climb on foot. It was pitchy dark, and the trees +closed us round. But presently we turned in at a gate and passed +through the perfect garden to the lighted house--the blazing bedroom +fire to dress by, the glowing drawing-room hearth to gather around +afterwards, the exhilarating dinner and evening talk. Mr Forbes had +just come from New Zealand, and that country had enchanted him. He had +roamed the earth--Switzerland, Norway, the Rockies, the Yosemite, all +the famous beauty spots--but never, he declared, had he seen anything +to match New Zealand scenery. A coach drive through the Otira Gorge +had simply turned his head. The husband of the flower-painter had +captained British troops in the Maori wars, and the house happened to +possess a fine collection of New Zealand photographs, bound in several +volumes. These I spent a long Sunday morning over, while Mr Forbes +descanted upon the pages as I turned them. I made a promise to myself +and him that not many years should pass before I saw the originals of +those pictures, but--as a matter of course--I have not seen them yet. +In my sadder moments I am convinced that I never shall. There was no +church upon the mountain then--only a little school-house where, on +alternate Sunday afternoons, an Anglican clergyman took a turn with +his Presbyterian brother; on such occasions we ladies of the house +brushed through the bracken-fern and woodland scrub to the humble +tabernacle. My hostess played the harmonium; the potential Personage +of the family led the singing. But on this wet and wintry Sunday we +stayed at home. I had much friendly intercourse with our chief guest, +and we corresponded afterwards. This was about four months before the +gay time which included the Rosebery episode. + +The diversions of that gay time soon palled upon me. I was glad to +exchange my camp in town--lap of love as well as luxury though it +was--for a home of my own, however 'umble. We collected ourselves in +the little terrace house, which managed to hold us, a governess for +the children included; and as soon as she had made us as comfortable +as she could, Maria's ill-used young man came for her, and we lost a +friend who could never be replaced. The 20th of February 1884 was her +wedding-day, and no obsequies were ever celebrated with more pangs and +tears. + +Miss P., the new governess, was a treasure notwithstanding. A curate +brother (he is a portly canon now), who wanted her for his +housekeeper, reft her from me three months afterwards; and she is +married, I hear, this long time, and I hope the man who has got her +appreciates his luck. She had a handful with those children after +Maria's influence was removed, but the way she managed them (in that +confined space) made me envious of her moral vigour and the texture of +her nerves. + +When they were all disposed of for the night she and I used to take +walks together. In my state of health, especially in the hot +weather--and that was a particularly hot place--dressing and calling +were too much for me; I waited until after dark, and then went out in +about three garments, the most delightful costume that I ever wore in +my life, and one to which I look back now with regret and longing +unspeakable. Oh, why can we not relieve the inescapable fatigue of +life in that way always, and not only for a few brief hours in thirty +years! It was the heavenly fashion then to wear a long, light, loose +paletot of China silk--the early dust-coat, before it had been +spoiled. It buttoned at the throat and all down the front to the hem, +which cleared the ground by about three inches. It had roomy pockets +outside; the sleeves were roomy also; there was no need to wear a +dress under it, nor anything whatever round the waist. I did not, and +so walked with the sensations (as I should imagine them) of a +disembodied spirit. + +Night after night, in this delicious liberty, we roamed that city +everywhere. It is a big city--the third in the state--with its due +proportion of dens and slums, of drunks and larrikins, but there was +not a hole or corner that we feared or had cause to fear. She, calm, +strong, protective, was the man of the pair; I, with my hand on her +arm, could wish no better. It was our joy to wander in the most +out-of-the-way places, and to find a new one if possible every night. +We watched trains from black railway embankments; we sat in the public +gardens away from lamps and out of call of people; we poked into blind +alleys and prowled over deserted mines--and we were never molested or +annoyed by anybody or anything. One day we read, with high +indignation, a letter in the newspaper which represented the town as +so rowdy at night-time that it was not safe for decent people to be +abroad. I became a newspaper controversialist myself, for once, in +order to confute that gratuitous liar, who, I am quite sure, was not a +decent person. The manners of our people may not be superfine, and in +fact they are not--there was no justification for the fastidiousness +of some persons who could not see any good in Archibald Forbes because +he drank his tea out of the saucer instead of the cup--but in the +conduct at the back of manners I have always found them decent to the +decent, in whatever walk of life. + +The pokiness of the poky house did not trouble me, but its situation +was detestable. Never will I live in a terrace house again, if I can +help it. I used to hunt in vain for a quiet corner to write in, for I +am not like my friend, "Rolf Boldrewood," who can calmly pursue his +literary labours in a roomful of noisy family. If I settled myself at +the rear of the premises, the maid next door would take the +opportunity to sing in her back-yard at the top of her voice, and, in +view of the performances of the children in mine, I was not in a +position to expostulate. If I fled to the front, I was distracted with +the rattle of the street and the horrible jingle of a public-house +piano out of tune. In the stilly night one had sometimes to bury one's +head in the bed-clothes to avoid hearing the conversations of the +husband and wife in the next house. Their window was close alongside +ours, and we had to open them in summer to enable us to breathe. Twice +a week or so G. used to go out with his broom and pail of +disinfectant, and, starting at the top of the terrace, flush and sweep +the main gutter of all the houses down to the bottom--and then was +summoned for creating a nuisance, because the overflow of a +neighbour's nastiness, from an unreachable source, was detected in our +ground. We had good reason to believe that this deadly insult (to +persons who made domestic sanitation a fad, if not a passion) was +contrived as a punishment for his impertinence in meddling with other +people's drains. One or two of them used to stand at their yard doors +and look at him sourly while he was doing it, but it was the only way +of cleansing our own. + +In spite of these drawbacks, our sojourn here was pleasant. There was +no hardship in being curate to such an incumbent as Archdeacon M'C., +beloved by all who knew him. The taste of town life was sweet, after +so many years of rural isolation. My friends were near, dropping in +continually, between one train and another, as they passed up and down +on the railway; and, best of all, there were the most "filling" +library and reading-rooms, conveniently near to me, that I had ever +had the run of. My pleasantest memories of this particular year are of +that institution and the grave, grey, bookish old librarian, who did +all he knew to make it delightful to me. Though I never saw him after +'84, he has his place in the little company of true friends made for +life; "gone, but not forgotten," as the obituary column says of a baby +buried yesterday--I have not forgotten him in seventeen years, nor +ever shall. We used to talk books by the hour when he was disengaged. +He hoarded volumes for me in the secret recesses of his desk, and of +the new publications coming in I always had my choice before they were +put upon the shelves. It mattered not that I was entitled to but one +or two at a time, the more I would accept in excess of my allowance, +the better he was pleased. Sometimes he left them at my door on his +way home to bed, although my door was out of his road. And I never was +at a loss for recreation with those reading-rooms to browse in--green +pastures and still waters for the fattening and refreshing of mind and +soul. They alone would have made any place good to live in. + +Just before Christmas, 1884, Bishop Moorhouse offered G. the parish +which was our favourite of the whole series--for six months. A +clergyman in England, belonging to one of our old families, already +mentioned, had a wish to return to his own people. He offered himself +unconditionally to the Bishop of Melbourne, who responded by +appointing him to this parish, up in the northeastern mountain +country, in the neighbourhood of our early homes; and G. was to take +charge of it until its incumbent-elect was ready. The latter, finding +it beneath his expectations, and being simultaneously offered a London +living, decided, after long deliberations, to remain where he was; and +we, who went there for six months, stayed nine years. It was so +congenial a place, that when (June 12, 1885) news came up to us that +the Board of Nominators in Melbourne had elected G. to the incumbency, +we said to each other that we had nothing left to wish for. To be safe +and settled once more had been our anxious desire for some months; we +now felt that if we had had our choice of all the districts and +dwellings in the diocese, we could not have suited ourselves better. + +But first we had to pay toll--heavy toll. My health continued to fail, +so that I could not enjoy my pretty home, and the end of years of +stop-gap doctoring was the announcement that it was useless, and that +radical measures must be resorted to. On March 9, 1886, I was +deposited in a private hospital in Melbourne, fully aware of the fact +that my case was considered serious enough to make it as likely as not +that I should die there. Of all the black hours of my life, I think +that was the worst--when my husband had said good-bye to me and gone +back to the children whom I dared not hope to see again, and I was +left to my hard fate (on a very hard bed) amongst cold-eyed strangers +to whom I was of no account whatever, except in the way of business. +Once, when I was a child under governesses, I took a violent fancy to +go to boarding-school; I pestered doting parents until they +reluctantly acceded to my wish; but no sooner was it realised than I +began to weep and pine away with a home-sickness that could only be +cured by fetching me back again--I think at the end of the first +quarter. That brief experience of exile from the Place of Love faintly +foreshadowed my mental sufferings--worse than the physical ones, which +were indeed no joke--under this bitterer separation; yet both school +and hospital did their best for me, and were governed with all the +kindness and good-will that discipline and the general conditions +admitted of. + +For months, that seemed years, I was imprisoned in the latter +place--even now I cannot pass it without a shudder, a thrill of +thankfulness to be outside instead of in--and I was then sent forth +with a reprieve only, and not a full discharge. The nurse, strange to +say, gave me the hint that I should probably "die of it" shortly; the +doctor, appealed to for the honest truth, first abused the nurse for +her indiscretion, and then endorsed her view. But nurses and doctors +have their human limitations; even they don't know everything. The +kindly reader may like to hear that I not only did not die of it, but +am in no danger of ever doing so. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +THE BOOM + + +I am not going to disgust the patient reader with sick-room talk. But +certain facts connected with my hospital life bear directly upon the +object of this book, which is to reflect in my trivial experiences the +character of the country as modified by its circumstances from year to +year. + +I had to pay Ł6, 6s. per week while an inmate of the house. This sum +did not cover medicines or washing, but board and nursing only. The +doctor who gave me chloroform three times charged me Ł5, 5s. on the +first occasion, and the same on the second; then his conscience +pricked him, I suppose, for he made me a present of his further +services. The surgeon's fee of Ł105 was comparatively moderate. _Per +contra_, I had a skimpy bed and room, and just the necessaries of life +as far as nursing was concerned. My nurse had too many other cases in +charge to give more attention to me than was surgically necessary; for +little spongings and pillow-shakings, a clean handkerchief, or such +trifle of comfort, I had to depend upon my friends when they were +allowed to see me. In dangerous crises a night nurse had me in charge; +at ordinary times a lay girl slept in my room. I moped in loneliness +through the greater part of the day, not knowing when I was well off, +until one morning the doctor asked me if I would mind having a +patient in with me, as the house was full. I weakly consented, +although horrified at the idea, and my one luxury of privacy was taken +from me. She was another surgical patient--another poor mother weeping +all the time for her children--and my sufferings on her account, which +included the total banishment of my friends from what was still my own +room, had such a bad effect upon me that they were soon obliged to +remove her. With regard to diet, I could hardly have cost more than +the cat. Fish, rabbit, cow-heel (not poultry) were the strong meats of +my convalescence; most of the time I was on broth and gruel--when not +sucking milk and soda from a spout. Nevertheless, I was no green +victim to experienced rapacity. None of those in whose power I +was--unless it were the chloroformist, who, I have been assured by +competent authority, did exceed his rights a little--took any unfair +advantage of me. The lady at the head of the establishment was a woman +of the very highest character, and is still my dear and honoured +friend; and the last of the facts I will give in connection with this +case is the fact that she could not make the hospital pay, even on +such terms, and although she worked herself to skin and bone to do it. + +Why? Because this was the merry Boom time, when rents were what we now +call "fabulous"--houses letting at three times the present rates--and +the general cost of living in proportion. Her expenditure, kept down +to the lowest limit, was so heavy that her large receipts would not +cover it. + +It is not for me, who never could do sums in my life, to give opinions +on matters of intricate finance that have proved beyond the grasp of +the most hard-headed experts, but no story of the country, or of +anyone living in it during the years when the great Land and Company +Boom occurred, would be complete without some description of that +amazing episode. I can, at least, give an interesting fact or two from +what I know. + +While I was still in my hospital bed, one public authority--not +listened to, of course--was telling the mad land-speculators that +already more allotments had been put up for suburban residences than +would suffice to house the population of London. "When the rage was at +its height, and land-sales and champagne lunches were _de rigueur_ on +Saturday afternoons, every available bit of land in the suburbs was +bought up by syndicates ... orchards were ruthlessly cut down, gardens +uprooted, hedges broken down, and surveyors set to work to mark out +streets and small allotments, while the astonished owners received +small fortunes for the title-deeds. Numbers of these _nouveaux riches_ +are now--this was written in '92--"touring in Europe, or living +comfortably at their ease on competencies thus acquired." But +some--friends of my own amongst them--handed over their properties to +be thus devastated for a further and higher sale, and got only a first +instalment of the purchase-money, or none at all; the "bottom fell +out" of the Boom before they knew it. While those who bought and were +too late to sell again--"witness," says the writer I am quoting, "the +suicides, the deserted homes, the present penury," domestic tragedies +beyond anything that "the pen of fiction" could produce. + +One affair caused much excitement in clerical (Church of England) +circles. Our cathedral was a-building. Dr Moorhouse had started the +work, after a strenuous fight on his part for the site it now +occupies--in the very heart of the busy city, which time has proved to +be the right place--as against one more retired and picturesque, the +land in both cases being Church property from the days of old. The +work, as far as it had gone, represented about Ł62,000, "when hungry +syndicates were casting about to find city blocks, then considered of +unassailable value," and it was announced in the papers that Ł300,000 +had been offered for the unfinished building and the land. "The +authorities were informed that even half a million might be +forthcoming, if they would appoint a committee to confer upon the +subject," and, oh, how that golden bait tantalised us all--or nearly +all! Bishop Moorhouse was gone to his see of Manchester, but there +were still a few men strong enough to breast the tide. "A fatal odd +vote," as it was called, saved us, the voter making himself for a +short time one of the most unpopular persons in the community. +"Business men will remember bitterly in the future, when funds are +scarce, that the sale of the cathedral would have represented a +perpetual income of Ł15,000 to Ł20,000 a year," wrote one of the many +good Churchmen who voiced their feelings in the newspapers; and he +said that those business men would be justified in refusing help to +the foolish ones who had "persisted in building on a veritable gold +mine," when those dark days came. The temptation was scarcely put +aside before the collapse occurred, and then, oh, what a sigh of +thankfulness went up from us all that the cathedral was there still! + +When it was known by the high financiers behind the scenes that the +bottom had fallen out of the Land Boom proper, then the +company-promoting began. Some idea of the energy that at once poured +itself into this channel may be derived from the statement that within +one year 270 new companies were registered in Melbourne, having an +aggregate nominal capital of fifty-two millions. These were the traps, +baited with the names of men in high positions, notorious for piety, +respectability, and business acumen, into which walked that long +procession of honest toilers who, with their little savings in their +hands, aimed, not to make a fortune, but a comfortable provision for +old age. + +Here is a sample of the kind of thing that might be found daily in the +newspapers--it is from the prospectus of the Centennial Land Bank, +Limited, Capital, Ł1,000,000, in 200,000 shares of Ł5 each:-- + + "The following statistics as regards the present values in + kindred institutions speak for themselves, and it is scarcely + necessary to point out the fact that this Company cannot + fail, with proper management, to have equally good, if not + better, returns:-- + + Australian Property and Investment Company, Ł5 paid; present + value, Ł8, 15s. + + Henry Arnold and Company, Ł5 paid; present value, Ł12. + + Standard Financial Investment and Agency Company, Ł1 paid; present + value, Ł7. + + Mercantile Finance and Guarantee Company, 25s. paid; present + value, Ł4, 19s. + + Freehold Investment and Banking Company, Ł2, 15s. 6d. paid; + present value, Ł10, 7s. 6d. + + Real Estate Bank, 50s. paid; present value, 73s. + + Australian Deposit and Mortgage Bank, Ł25 paid; present value, + Ł46. + + All the above have been paying dividends at the rate of from 10 to + 50 per cent." + +Is it any wonder that a spider's web of this description was simply +black with flies? Poor old maids, widows, parsons, school-marms, small +tradesmen who had laboriously put by a little--they tumbled over each +other in their eagerness to put a splendid finishing-touch to the work +of their industrious lives. They could not believe in frauds and +swindles at the hands of such men as they who enticed them to +irreparable financial ruin. Of the companies named in the Centennial +Land Bank prospectus, all, as I read in the records of the time, came +to grief, and "the names of four of them figure in the list of 133 +limited companies that the _Government Gazette_ supplies as having had +to wind up their affairs during the twelve months from June 1891 to +June 1892 inclusive." + +I said I would not meddle with figures, which are not in my line, but +I am tempted to give just a few more while I am about it. + +Purchasers (at slightly under Ł1100 per foot) of land in Collins +Street, on which a draper's shop had been burnt to the ground, refused +Ł2000 per foot for their bargain. Another block, with frontage to +Collins Street, was bought for Ł65,000, and sold a few months later +for Ł120,000. Other premises purchased for Ł25,000 were sold four +months later for Ł55,000--Ł2000 per foot. The Equitable Life Assurance +Company of New York paid, I believe, Ł2500 per foot for the fine site +on which they have erected the finest commercial building in +Melbourne. It was the same in the outside suburbs, where as yet they +were not suburbs at all. At Surrey Hills land worth 15s. in 1884 rose +to Ł15 in 1887. A "moderate estimate" of the sales of the latter year +was officially reported as over Ł14,000,000. But one of the best +indications of the violence of these ups and downs is afforded by a +comparison of the advertisement-columns of the newspapers one year +with another. In 1888 the Saturday issue (for several consecutive +Saturdays) of a morning journal averaged 170 advertisement-columns of +fine print; in 1892 (also for several Saturdays) the average number +was 67. It was calculated by "one of our leading financiers" that the +"shrinkage" which occurred in stocks and shares, together with the +shrinkage in silver (which had had a world-famed boom of its own), +from 1889 to 1892 totalled "the appalling sum of Ł50,000,000." It only +remains to add that the population of the entire continent did not +total 4,000,000. + +G. and I were amongst the fortunate ones who had no spare money to +play with, and so, when the crash came, we were in the position of the +cathedral--where we were--poor but free, not mortgaged body and bones +for "calls," like so many that we knew. Still, we had to bear our +little share of the general calamity. About a week after the State +Proclamation of five days' compulsory Bank Holiday--disregarded by the +only two banks which (with the exception of one little one) passed +unscathed through the storm--and when it was supposed that Government +had thereby checked the epidemic of bank disasters, G. was paid his +stipend, and on the stroke of three o'clock made a wild rush to +deposit the money before his bank shut for the day; _his_ bank being +above suspicion (to him), whatever others might be. He just, and only +just, managed it, and the doors that closed on him a minute afterwards +remained closed next morning. And so, as that money was for many a day +beyond recall, I had to make mine do for both of us, until I in my +turn was rendered penniless. With the narrow-mindedness of my sex in +business matters, I withstood the appeals of the manager of my own +bank, who assured me that his little all and the combined possessions +of his whole family reposed therein, and transferred what I had to the +Government Savings Bank, as being an approximately safe place--while +inclined to think that a hole in the ground or a tea-pot or an old +stocking would be safer--until things should have settled down. When +they did settle down, I opened my account with one of the two great +banks that had proved themselves impregnable. + +From a newspaper of May 20th, 1893, I take the following:--"Counting +in all stoppages up to Tuesday last, about Ł55,000,000 of Australian +money is now locked up in suspended banks of issue--not counting the +amounts locked up in about fifty bursted land banks, building +societies and investment companies, and leaving the Mercantile"--this +was the particularly scandalous boom-bank--"out of the calculation +altogether.... Within a year 64 per cent. of the working capital of +Queensland has been locked up, 60 per cent. of that of Victoria, 55 +per cent. in New South Wales, and 40 per cent. in South Australia." So +it appears, if these figures are correct, that there was still one +colony worse off than we were. + +But it was not 1893--it was 1886--when I was in hospital, and the +"high old times" were in full swing. When I came out, to remain for a +long time under the necessity of reporting myself to the doctor at +frequent intervals, I was again, at those frequent intervals, in the +thick of the distractions of our still gay capital, where it was the +aim of my friends to make me forget that I was going to "die of it" or +to persuade me that my medical adviser was a fool. + +I was not in the fevered crowd of those who "ran" the boom and made +the smell of money so rank in the nose; but it was high tide in the +fortunes of the landed gentry, and, indeed, generally speaking, of the +whole community. All in their degree were rich and lived lavishly; the +upper classes seemed wholly given over to pleasure-making, and their +appetite for social diversion was catered for as it never was before +or since. It was now that I heard so much good music, saw so much good +acting, met so many interesting travellers, enjoyed the greatest +race-meetings in the history of splendid Flemington, the hospitalities +of Government House in its best days, the most memorable +entertainments of a time when nothing but the first-rate was +tolerated. I look back now and wonder at my keen appreciation of it +all. But it never took much to make me enjoy myself, and I was younger +then. + +Out of the crowded spectacle, which in memory resembles the dream of +Verdant Green's father after the first visit to Oxford, the Centennial +Exhibition stands most conspicuous. As first conceived, it was to cost +Ł25,000, because the buildings of the Exhibition of 1880 were still +there to work upon. Being a Boom enterprise, it had not gone far +before it was estimated that Ł70,000 would be needed to complete it +properly. When the bill at last came in, it totalled Ł250,000. "A +costly blunder," it is called in these soberer times. Costly it was +certainly, but a blunder--no. Not to us who made it our haunt and +rendezvous, our palace of pleasure in a thousand forms. I should think +that no money ever spent gave so much direct enjoyment to so many +people. + +Ah, those days! Those days! I too had had my little boom on the +Australian press, and it was not yet over; bad times were still +undreamed of, the London Syndicate had not yet taken possession of the +fiction columns, pounds were freely to be had (I received Ł197 for the +serial rights of _A Marked Man_) where now shillings are hard to come +by; and my children were still under the expensive age. So that the +cost of two long journeys for a day or two in town seemed not worth +considering, and I appear never to have considered it. We were all +extravagant together. We made hay while the sun shone, if ever people +did. + +Therefore, looking back upon those gay times, I have not to regret +that I missed anything (except Madame Norman-Neruda), whatever else I +may regret. Living nearly 200 miles away I had all the good of the +Exhibition that I could have desired; more would have meant satiety. +Scores and scores of those orchestral concerts (under Frederick +Cowen's conductorship) I must have attended, first and last; there +were two a day, and they gave you the best music of all countries, and +you only had to stroll into the hall and sit down and listen, as if in +your own house. It was here that I learned to be a Wagnerite, after +several unsuccessful attempts. By finding a very quiet corner, and +listening with my eyes close shut and a fan before my face, I +discovered the secret; now there is no luxury in life like a Wagner +concert--other music, even other great music, that I am bidden to +place higher, seems by comparison what other novels seem beside George +Meredith's best (the Meridithian will understand me). As it has +chanced, all the Wagner that I have heard since Exhibition days has +been rendered by the still more highly-trained orchestra of Mr +Marshall Hall, ex-Ormond Professor of Music in the University of +Melbourne; and, as a musician, we have never had his equal amongst us +here, and are never likely to have his superior. + +The Art Galleries of the Exhibition were more to us than the Concert +Hall, for we were more in them. Amongst the Loan Pictures, of one +country or another, we met our friends; here we sat on soft lounges to +muse upon our favourites, in more or less congenial company, or we let +the pictures alone and gave friendship the whole field. There were +times in the day--the place was open from 11 A.M. to 10:30 P.M.--when +persons who desired privacy had no difficulty in finding it at fifty +different spots; wherefore it was a very paradise for lovers. And you +could live there all day long, with every comfort, including free +education worth years of school. It was delightful to show children +biscuits and hats and wire-mattresses a-making under their very noses, +and when they were tired of that to take them to see the seals fed in +the cool Aquarium, or up on the hydraulic lift to survey all Melbourne +from the great dome. The meals are a delicious memory--the little +lunches and dinner-parties, the afternoon teas (for nothing) in the +dainty tea-pavilions--all flavoured with the holiday spirit, the +bright talk of meeting friends. And the saunters to and fro, and up +and down (fatiguing, no doubt, but I have forgotten that), always with +something beautiful to look at, something interesting to do, and +generally with a comrade of your heart to talk to about it all! When +the place was shut at last, we wandered forlorn and lost for a long +time. We were spoiled for humdrum life. + +The Centennial Exhibition--our "Great" Exhibition--marked the climax +of the Boom, of what we erroneously call the "good times," when we +were rich and dishonest and mercenary and vulgar. The end was not far +off. A few more luxuries awaited us, of which the one that recalls +itself most vividly to my mind is Madame Patey's singing of "Alas! +Those Chimes," from _Maritana_. This was on 27th November 1890. On the +25th June 1801 I saw Sara Bernhardt in _Theodora_. She it was who rang +down the curtain. We were able to give her a good season, to treat +ourselves once more regardless of expense; then, upon the heels of her +departure, the bubble burst. "Thank God," I heard a man say, "that we +got Sara first." It was our last chance for many a long day. + +But the best thing that ever happened to Melbourne Society, as I have +known it, was the snuffing out of the lights of that feast, the coming +of that cold daylight to the revellers. A better example of the +vulgarising effects of wealth, and of the refining effects of being +without it, was never packed in a neater compass. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +THE SEVENTH HOME + + +Towards the end of May 1886--against professional advice, to which we +opposed our private opinion that the best way to get well was to get +rid of the homesick cravings that were beyond doctor's reach--I was +transferred from my hospital bed to one in the house of a dear +Melbourne friend, where I lay in all the luxury that love and money +could provide, and with portions of family around me, for a few more +weeks; until at last it was considered that I might make the long +journey to my home in safety. I had a bed in the railway carriage, and +reached the goal of my desires at midnight, when the long-motherless +bairns were asleep. Thereafter, although weighed down at times with +the thought of my supposed impending doom--never really out of my +mind, and constantly spurring me to extreme efforts to turn the +available time to the best account, in the interests of my prospective +orphans--I persisted in getting well and in enjoying myself +accordingly. Indeed, the charm of life at this period--only to be +understood by those in like case, who have been so near to losing +it--is a bloom upon the retrospect that is likely to misrepresent it +in these pages. Beauty is in the eye and heart of the beholder more +than in the thing beheld. However, I can only paint as I have seen, +and the reader will make allowances. + +Certainly Home No. 7, which was in the near neighbourhood of Homes 1, +2, and 3, was a trifle dilapidated. G.'s successor there, when he +first saw it, called it a "shanty"--he came from the modern suburban +villa which we now occupy, and was used to high ceilings and electric +bells--and he thought (until the rain ceased and the sun came out) +that it would be impossible to bring his family to quarters so mean by +comparison with what they were accustomed to. But they were good +enough for us. The most we asked of the vestry was to keep roofs +weather-tight; for the rest, we felt ourselves equal to making a +satisfactory abode out of a far worse shanty than that. Indeed, we had +done so more than once. + +All the paint was off it, and the soft grey of the dissolving +wood-work was in perfect harmony with every other detail of the +composition; I used to dread to turn my back on the place, lest the +parish should take a notion to smarten up while I was away, although I +knew that the time was near when something would have to be done. They +could only have put staring patches on their old garment, which would +have made it hideous. It was so beautifully, mellowly "all of a piece" +now, that I begged G., who rather hankered after painters and +carpenters, to keep their hands off, if he loved me. "It will last our +time," I said, as he drove the amateur nail, and I saw to it that old +age did not mean dirt; and we made it do that--barely. The back of the +house was level with the ground, but the front was in the air, so that +its verandah was a balcony and you descended from it to the garden by +a flight of twelve steps; before we left we had abandoned the front +entrance because it had become impossible by our unaided efforts to +keep those steps in place. Also the verandah floor in places was +dangerous to walk upon; the constant watering of flower-pots and +palm-tubs had rotted it through. And the ivy, cut into a hood round +one of the drawing-room windows, rioted out of bounds. On the whole, I +was glad to go when the time came--to our sunny, airy, far-too-public +villa with the high ceilings and the electric bells, which will never +suit me as well. We had grown too dilapidated to keep tidy, too +picturesque for health. + +After our time--and soon after--an opportune legacy to the parish was +devoted to the work of restoration, and enabled the restorers to make +what they called a good job of it. I saw the place the other day, and +it is now almost like a common house. The ivy is all cleared away; so +are some of the trees which, while I knew they were too many, I could +not bear to have touched; the verandahs are sound and painted, the +rooms light. My ćsthetic soul grieved over some details of the change, +but my hygienic conscience admitted that the whole change was a good +one. + +Many things were gone from the garden, which in our time had sheltered +us from every prying eye. The thinning of the trees and bushes had +left spaces bare but for pine-needles and cones, and exposed the house +to the gaze of the passer-by. Great screens of laurel used to stand +this way and that, and some had been taken down; a magnificent +lemon-tree had disappeared--but I think that was our fault. We sunk a +kerosene tin, with small holes in the bottom, in the earth beside it, +and filled the cavity with water whenever we thought of it, so that +moisture was always percolating to the roots; and the result of this +treatment was such splendid growth that the tree doubled and trebled +its size in two or three seasons. The fruit was enormous and weighed +it down. I used to break off a branch bearing a cluster of half a +dozen or more, and by the time I had carried it to a friend in the +town my arm would feel as if I had been carrying a pail of milk; and I +was ready to teach anybody the true art or lemon-growing. But after a +few splendid years the tree suddenly got tired: I suppose it had +worked itself out; and then it dwindled steadily, despite our care, +and we left it ragged and sick. It must have died of that illness. +Another lemon-tree, treated in the same way, lives still, in a sticky, +threadbare fashion, but this bears a small, half-sweet fruit, whereas +its neighbour was Lisbon of the finest quality. Evidently lemons do +not object to that vigorous climate, where it snows in winter, for our +doctor up there, whose recreation is fruit-farming, has a fine grove +of young trees, the produce of which has already gained top prices in +the market; but oranges will not climb so high. Within a few miles, +however--at W----, near Home No. 1--they grow to perfection. + +The two things in the parsonage garden which make it unique are there +still--the avenue and the slabbed pathways. The avenue, from the front +door to the front gate, is of some kind of pine that runs up in a +straight mast to a great height and then branches like an umbrella; +here it makes a roof to the descending aisle. And the aisle is paved +with shallow steps of the silvery granite which is the very substance +of the hills. No one step matches another; all are rough-hewn and of +about the same width, but they are long or short, thick or thin, just +as it happens, dropping down and down in a manner as informal as the +architecture of Nature herself; and the same arrangement obtains where +it has been necessary to make footholds round steep corners. Those +original alley-and-stairways were an inspiration of the designer, who +probably had no design but to face his tracks with something that the +rain would not wash away; but how often has the amiable Philistine +urged us to get the vestry to "make proper paths!" They will do it +some day, and then I hope no reader of these pages, touring in the +locality, will look for Home No. 7 in the expectation of finding it. +But, all the same, that garden was a trap to the stranger on a dark +night. + +I remember on one occasion being awakened from my first sleep--my +hours are early at both ends of the day--by terrifying bumpings and +crashes amongst the thick bushes and down the treacherous paths. G. +was at a meeting in the town; maid and lady-help had both followed the +children to bed; it was nine o'clock or thereabouts, when any other +house would have been still alive. My fears of burglars or stray +cattle were dispelled by the voices of lost and floundering men +calling to each other. Supposing the servant about, I left her to +attend to them, but it was a long time before they brought up at the +dining-room verandah. There she argued with them at length, and +presently tapped at my door. + +"It's two gentlemen from Melbourne, ma'am." Like Maria, she was most +particular in giving me that title so rare in this country. + +"Didn't you tell them Mr C. was out?" I called. + +"I did, ma'am. And they want to see you." + +"Didn't you tell them I had gone to bed?" + +"I did, ma'am. But--" + +"Well, go and tell them again that I have gone to bed." The idea of +that statement, once made, not being sufficient! I was indignant. + +She went, and talked to them again; she returned with a pair of +visiting-cards, and protested, as she lit my candle, that the +gentlemen would not go. I read the names, and knew them, although the +owners were strangers to me. One was a University Professor. +(N.B.--Since this was written he has joined the majority, one of the +greatest losses to the country, outside the University as well as in, +that it has sustained for many a day.) I decided to get up. + +"Put the lamps in the drawing-room, and tell them I will be there in a +minute." And I whisked up my hair, tossed on a tea-gown, and went +forth to receive them. "We were determined to have you out," said the +Professor to me years afterwards, and dwelt upon the extraordinary +difficulties that he and his friend had had to overcome to compass +that end. Glad enough was I, and still am, that they succeeded. No +talk that I ever had is more refreshing to remember than that which I +enjoyed until past midnight--especially after G. came back from his +meeting to divide us into pairs. There are books and ideas that can +never suggest themselves without bringing it all to mind. The garden +is haunted by the figures of those groping and resolute men. + +There, too, walks the ghost of that dear vice-regal lady whom we all +remember with such love. I see her slowly mount the rugged path under +the pines, glancing from side to side upon the half-wild growth with +pleasure in her artistic eye; coming for that quiet talk which +municipal dignity would have baulked us of, and the memory of which is +precious now that I am never likely to have another. I read somewhere +not long ago, in gossip of old Holland House and the charming society +that once gathered there--by one who was of it--that she was lovely as +a budding girl, and remarkable for her air of high distinction; +immediately I thought of her as she looked that day, coming towards me +under the trees. Like the rest of us, she is growing old now, but she +will always have that beauty and that air, the blend of a gentle +nature with gentle blood. + +An account of this visit from our then Governor's wife may be worth +giving, if only to illustrate municipal dignity--Government +authority--as it is conceived of in these parts. + +She had honoured me with a private friendship--unsought by me--for +some time when, in the ordinary routine of state functions, +arrangements were made for the Governor to visit our town, she +accompanying him. It was an exceptional compliment, conferred for the +first time, and the excitement throughout the district was intense. + +When the time approached she wrote to ask me to meet her on her +arrival, and I was duly at the station when the decorated train +arrived, but far, far away on the edge of the crowd, which built a +solid rampart between us--official representatives of the town, their +families, and the processions they had organised to receive and escort +the vice-regal party--and by no means could I get nearer. In normal +times I had every reason to feel myself a respected member of the +community, but I was now to be taught my place municipally as it were. +My representations were simply not listened to; I am sure they were +not believed. That vice-royalty could harbour a thought outside the +official demonstration was inconceivable to them. I could see my +friend's tall head turning from side to side as she sought for me over +the bowing heads of people presenting bouquets and reading addresses +of welcome, but I was not tall enough for her to see me; so I gave up +the struggle for that day, and went home and had a bath--it was +ragingly hot--intending to send her a note of explanation later. As I +was putting myself into an old, cool gown, word was brought to me that +she was coming up the garden. I went out to her as I was, and she +spent an hour or two, of happy memory, with me--the only resting time +she had throughout her visit--leaving me to my customary quiet evening +and early bed, while she returned to the hotel to the state banquet +and reception that filled the first day's programme. + +That of the next day (December 30, 1885, and a burning north wind) was +packed with engagements in a fashion that took no account of a woman's +strength--and a delicate woman at that. There was first a monster +picnic to the show view of the neighbourhood, twelve steep miles up +into the hills; it was to start as early as nine or thereabouts, feast +sumptuously and make speeches when it got there, and return in time +for two more afternoon functions, at two separate public institutions, +and a concert in the evening. It was arranged overnight that I should +accompany my friend to the picnic, and after she left my house she +notified to the proper authorities her wish that I should be allotted +to the carriage selected for her. Next day she told me the result. The +answer of the town was that it was very sorry, but it could not be +done. _The order of precedence had to be observed._ + +I was at the hotel at the appointed hour, and she was already in her +seat--she had chosen it, under the circumstances, on the box, between +the Governor and the driver--and the body of the vehicle, a large open +brake, was packed with municipal ladies, every bit as "good" as I was, +of course, but all strangers to her. Behind the vice-regal carriage +stood a long line of other brakes, rapidly filling up. I sat down on a +bench under the hotel verandah to watch the process and await my turn. +My dear lady in the distance made a gesture which signified "Where are +you going to be put?" I shook my head to indicate that I had not the +least idea. Then the cavalcade started, and soon all the splendid +four-in-hands had vanished in a cloud of dust--and I was still sitting +under the verandah, I and a friend staying with me, a daughter of that +house where I encountered the midnight opossum. It was discovered then +that there was still a remnant left behind, and a buggy was brought +out, a scratch pair harnessed to it, and we and a few more odds and +ends, as it were, cleaned up. + +Of course we were hours late at the rendezvous. When we arrived the +banquet was in progress, the Governor's wife sitting amid her court, +which occupied every chair, and looking almost as difficult to get at +as she had been at the railway station. I made no attempt to get at +her. My companion and I sat in our own buggy, and a nice man brought +us plates of turkey and trifle, and tumblers of champagne, and we +enjoyed our lunch and our liberty and the whole proceedings. By-and-by +the Governor came to tell me that he expected me to accompany his +party back to town the next morning. I had that to look forward to. + +On our return from the picnic, and when near the gates of the first +institution that was to be inspected, the cavalcade halted and word +was passed back to me that my lady in the leading carriage wished to +speak to me. I went to her. She was dusty and sunburnt, and very +tired. "Go home," she said, "and rest. You can rest--I can't." + +I went to Melbourne with her next day--the very hottest day, I think, +that I was ever out in. She had been unable to sleep, she said, and +was almost prostrated by the weather and her fatigues. In the state +carriage we could lie down on blue satin sofas, in the lightest indoor +clothes, and a maid in a little ante-room had cool drinks and sponges +and such things in readiness. The Governor held a cloth continually +soaked in water over an open window against the fierce north wind, to +try if by evaporation he could freshen the air; but it remained +oven-like for all his efforts. + +At last, when we were halting at a wayside station for a train to +pass, a minister was sent for from the compartment where he was +travelling with the suite, in some kind of official charge of the +expedition. + +"Do," said his liege lady, "do please go and ask them if they will +hose the carriage." She was fainting with the heat, and this seemed to +her the best way to get relief--as it would have been. He hurried off, +much concerned at her distress, to, as he said, see what he could do. +Presently he returned, and said--my own ears heard him--that he was +very sorry, but it could not be done. "_It would blister the paint._" + +She was idolised throughout the colony as no Governor's wife ever was +before or since, and with good reason; and the people who, as in this +case, were supposed to be entertaining her, were neither mean nor +selfish, nor intentionally rude. I am sure the idea that they were not +treating her with the highest consideration never crossed their minds. + +Other friends, departed or no more, are indissolubly one with that old +house and the old garden in which it stood. How many phantom faces +flit amongst those shades? Every block of stone, every step of the +verandah stairs, has a figure or a group. They sit in twilight, in +moonlight, musing alone or talking together--the deep, intimate talk +of those resting hours. There is a bishop amongst them with his +pipe--he, too, now on the other side of the world, but with a green +memory here that will not wither yet awhile. And still other friends, +that never talked, except in a language that few trouble to learn. + +For originally the garden was a "Zoo" on a small scale. The first +parson was a rabid naturalist, who experimented with new breeds of +birds and collected snakes for the study of their habits and customs. +We were warned that one of their habits was to escape frequently, and +that we should probably find house and grounds alive with their +descendants, but we did not; only two put in an appearance upon the +premises in nine years. Two large aviaries remained of the birds' +village that once was when we took possession; we kept flower-pots and +tools in one, and for a while I had turtledoves in another--not for +long, since cages are an abomination to me, however big. Both are +cleared away now, with their leafy screens. But the wild birds love +the place--or did love it. It was mainly for their sakes that the axe +was not laid at the root of any tree while we were there, and they +came to it from far and near--far, I should say, since one rarely +heard a bird-note, not even that of the once ubiquitous magpie, on the +surrounding hills--and set up housekeeping in peace and privacy, and +in larger and larger numbers every year. + +How soon they know where they are welcome! And it is the same with all +dumb things. I am convinced that there is scarcely a creature living +which does not prove itself possessed of quite human intelligence as +soon as one begins to make a friend of it. They walk under our feet +and scatter from our path in fear and trembling; their minds are +cramped and starved by their hunted, down-trodden, tragical lives; +they are shut up within themselves. But show them a little kindness +and understanding and comradeship, and the results are astonishing. I +have tried it often enough to know. I have had such things as toads +and hedgehogs scrambling after me about garden paths, preferring to +burst themselves rather than lose the chance of my company. Some white +rats presented to my children were let out of their cage to enjoy +themselves in an enemy-proof room, and had not been thus indulged for +a week before their endearments became overpowering. A widowed dove +was my companion for several years, and fell sick and refused food if +parted from me, which was only when I went out of the house; and then +it would follow if not guarded carefully, and was killed at last in a +tangle of street traffic through which it was hunting me. In this very +house at B---- I was silly enough to make friends with a mouse that +had a hole in the hearth by which I used to sit alone at work. All I +did was to put a crumb or a spoonful of milk between me and it. Soon +it took to sitting in its porch--we could just see its little snout +twiddling--to watch until the family were all gone from the room, and +to running out to me fearlessly the instant the door was closed behind +them. + +This was in the dining-room. Opposite its glass doors, across the +verandah and a path, there was an arrangement of granite blocks to +shore up the ground where the hill had been cut away to make a level +for the house, and in the interstices of this rough wall more mice +lived. We were quite unaware of the fact until I had begun petting the +hearth-dweller, when they suddenly popped out from their burrows as +bold as brass. I could not resist giving them a crumb or two, and +their subsequent behaviour convinced me that their indoor neighbour +had communicated to them the fact that there was a friend at court. As +I sat at meals, in broad daylight and sunshine, the French window open +between us, I could see them sitting on their thresholds, staring +across the gap with all their eyes. "You will rue this," said the +person in authority, and I soon did. We became all at once inundated +with mice. Alas for the eternal tragedy of life! A cat was introduced. +One morning I was writing at the dining-table, with my back to the +hearth, when a tremendous clatter of fire-irons made me jump out of my +chair. I flew after that young tigress, and I got her prey from her, +but too late. My pet died in my hand--and I am never going to take any +notice of a mouse again. + +Of all my dumb companions here--those humble fellow-creatures of ours, +the possibilities in the way of social intercourse with whom (I will +not say "which") are amongst the happy surprises reserved for an +enlightened future--Toby was the bosom friend. + +Toby, although he was only a dog, shall have a chapter to himself. The +reader who is not a dog-lover, being hereby forewarned, can skip it. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +TOBY + + +All I know of his breeding is that he had none. His mother, a +drawing-room pet and the only acknowledged parent, was a little +long-bodied, dainty bundle of silver-grey silk that swept the ground; +he, fully twice her size and height, with a compact, sinewy frame and +a close, wire-haired, rusty-black coat, was more in the style of the +useful out-door terrier that loves a scrimmage in the street and is +rough on rats--mere dog, in short, and a despicable animal from the +fancier's point of view. But when I saw him first--he was brought to +my bedside during illness, as a present more likely to cheer me than +anything else--I thought I had never seen a sweeter pup; and I do not +hope to meet again, still less to own, a brighter, smarter, dearer +creature than he afterwards became. + +There was nothing of the trick dog about him, and with respect to +striking exploits he was less distinguished than several of his +predecessors in my regard. One of these, for instance, was +part-proprietor of a town and a country house, both of which were kept +open and habitable (caretakers in one while the family occupied the +other), and there was a considerable railway journey between the two. +My canine friend preferred, of course, to live with the family, but +if they happened to hurt his feelings he quietly trotted to the +station, picked out the right train, and thereby conveyed himself to +his alternate home, where he remained until the trouble had blown +over. The railway officials at both ends knew him well, and he them, +but they declared that, even at the crowded station of the large town, +he was capable of finding his own train without their assistance. This +same dog knew when it was Sunday simply by count of days--at least, he +would seem to know before anything in the house could have told +him--and took his measures accordingly. He was always missing between +breakfast and church time, and always known to be in hiding under a +seat of the family pew during divine service, although an order +prohibiting his attendance had never been repealed. Another dog friend +used to wait for his mistress on doorsteps when she did errands or +paid calls, and one day she left a house by a different door from that +by which she had gone in, forgetting that he was there. Missing him +during the day, finding that he was not at home all night nor all next +day, she became frantic with fears that something dreadful had +happened to him, sending messages of inquiry in all directions. After +a hunt in more likely places, he was discovered on the doorstep where +she had left him. It had been snowing and blowing, and he was starved +with cold and hunger, but he had not budged. I knew a dog that nearly +died at his post in the same way, and quite lately the current dog of +this establishment spent a cold night at the local cemetery gates, +waiting for a master who had gone home unbeknown in a mourning coach +the day before. Dozens of incidents equally remarkable occur to me, +but not in connection with Toby; who, however, if he did not do any +very wonderful things, was capable of doing them. As with inglorious +Miltons amongst ourselves, he simply lacked opportunity. + +What entitled him to be remembered as I remember him was his splendid +force of character and his absolutely faithful heart. He was, indeed, +energetic to a fault in nearly all directions. No dog walked that he +was not game to tackle, and no cat, except his own cat, whose +successive kittens he nursed as if engaged for the purpose, was safe +for a moment within range of his alert eye; while to see him careering +round the paddock after frenzied poultry, or throwing the garden +bodily over his back when burying his bones and digging them up again, +was to understand in some degree why he was not exactly popular with +the powers of his world. But the ardour of his affection for, and +devotion to, his particular owner was a thing to shame human +friendship at its best. I can never think of it without thinking what +life would be if men and women loved each other like that. + +Full of business as he always was, I think he never lost the run of +his mistress for an hour when she was at home, unless he were tied up +for misdemeanours or otherwise forcibly restrained. A thing of +whalebone and quicksilver, of tireless energy and vivacity, he +schooled himself to the conditions of indoor companionship, and would +lie all day at my side, eyes watching for the merest glance from mine, +tail poised for a joyous thump the moment he received it. When I sat +out of doors, and he thought I was quite safe not to go away, he would +amuse himself in the vicinity in all sorts of cheerful ways. He always +took a deep interest in fowls, and a favourite game of his was to draw +an imaginary circle round a selected hen, and by working along that +line to keep her from breaking out of it. He did it so neatly and at +such a distance from her that she was not seriously alarmed; but when, +every time she started for a new point, she found him there ahead of +her, her disconcerted cluck and bewildered aspect were extremely +funny. The current kittens were also toys that he delighted in; he and +the mother cat would spend endless time and ingenuity in carrying them +away from one another and fetching them back again, all in the most +friendly fashion. Of course, he accompanied me everywhere in my walks +abroad. Some readers of these pages will recall his wit and his +persistence in following me into houses where I was paying calls after +doors and gates had been closed against him. How he did it we +sometimes could not tell, since he was neither a professional burglar +nor a kangaroo; and, of course, I ought to have brought him up not to +do it, as not to do a few other things that I weakly allowed for the +sake of the love that prompted them. + +At night, when not on that chain which we both disliked so much, he +preferred to sleep on my doorstep--I had an outside doorstep, where a +French window opened upon the raised verandah--deserting the kennel in +which he could have been dry and warm. When I was alone--he always +knew when that was--the worst weather would not keep him away; but +when the rain, which occasionally was sleet and snow, beat on him, he +would scratch and whine to be let in; and then I would be inclined to +wish that one or other of us had never been born. It was a torment to +hear him and refuse his plea, but the most doggy person must draw the +line somewhere; besides, if I had admitted him once, he would have +suffered for my indiscretion many times, as also should I. So I used +to shout, "Go to bed, sir!" with a make-believe severity that had no +more effect than to send him dejectedly flopping down the verandah +steps, to creep up again before he had reached the bottom. But +generally he was good and quiet. I used to wake sometimes to hear a +subdued sniff under the door, or the thud of a soft body flinging +itself ostentatiously upon hard boards. These were his ways of +reminding me, in case I doubted it, that he was there. + +Unfortunately, as before remarked, he was not popular with the +household. I daresay it was my fault. There are such differences of +opinion about dogs in our family that we never do have one without +quarrelling over it, more or less. Poor Toby was the domestic +scapegoat. If a chicken got roup or a stray cow walked over the +flower-beds, he was the suspected culprit; every muddy boot-print, +every unmentionable insect that came into the house, was laid at his +door; and to smell an unpleasant odour was at once to connect it with +his coat, and not with cabbage water in the kitchen or a neglected +drain. + +I went out a-visiting for a week or two, and when I returned found +that he had been given away. He was still on the premises to welcome +me in his vociferous manner, and the news was not broken too abruptly: +but I had to hear it before the following afternoon, which was the +time fixed for his departure. It appeared that in my absence he had +taken up with some friends of ours whom he had often called upon with +me, particularly attaching himself to the eldest schoolboy son, and +had virtually been living with them nearly all the time. They were but +temporary dwellers in the town, and about to leave it; and as he had +greatly endeared himself to the numerous children, and was rightly +supposed to be unappreciated in his own house, they had asked to keep +him and take him with them. Evidently the request had been hailed as +delightfully opportune, and unhesitatingly granted by those who had no +authority to dispose of him. + +"Now, you know," it was said to me, when, after something of a scene, +I was considered in a fit state to be reasoned with, "that Toby only +makes discord and dissension in an otherwise united family. He will +interfere with the fowls, and dig holes in the garden, and bring dirt +and fleas into the house; and then, when he is put on the chain, you +don't like it and make a fuss. Here's a splendid home for him, where +he'll be as happy as the day is long. The T.'s, who have just as much +as they can do to feed their own children and pay their own travelling +expenses, would not add him to the party if they were not really fond +of him; and you can see, by the way he has been haunting their place, +how fond he is of them. It is for the dog's own benefit as well as +ours, and we shall never get such another chance." + +Well, I saw that. When you love a creature, dumb or otherwise, its own +happiness is what you consider first, and every proof had been given +that his new proprietors would be good to him. In this case, as in so +many cases, the benevolent heart went with the slender purse; Toby +himself was well aware of it. And so I consented to let the bargain +stand. I had promised to see my friends off at the railway station, +but now cancelled that engagement, sending them a message to say that, +though they might take Toby, I could not see him go. They told me +afterwards that he went quietly; I daresay he did, not knowing what +was happening and how we should feel about it at our next meeting. + +I had no expectation, at the time, of any next meeting. But a year or +two later, while having a little travel for my health, I found myself +in the large town whither he had been taken when torn from me: and, of +course, I made it my business to find him there, if possible. I did +not know where his people lived, the streets were strange to me, and I +have no bump of locality whatever, so I started soon after breakfast +and gave the morning to it. By about lunch-time, after many inquiries +and misdirections, and much fatigue and exasperation, I discovered the +house in a very far-out suburb. But, before I discovered the house, +Toby discovered me. He had not seen me, I am convinced--had either +scented me in the distance or recognised my (to human ears inaudible) +step--when he uttered his first ecstatic yell and hurled himself over +the gate; I was still half a street's length off when I beheld him +tearing towards me as if discharged from a giant catapult. Literally, +I could hardly see him for dust. We fell into each other's arms +forthwith, and I must have looked, to the casual spectator, as if +engaged in a death grapple with a wild beast. + +His young master appeared, and I managed to shake his hand and ask if +he lived there, and how his mother was. He took me in to her, and she +was delighted to see me; his father and the family joined us, and said +how good it was of me to look them up, and of course I must stay to +dinner, and how were all at home, and so on; but it was dumb show--we +could not hear ourselves speak. Toby nearly lifted the roof with his +uproar of welcome, and seemed to have lost the power to stop himself; +every breath was a shriek, so full of the fury and passion of joy that +it seemed like to choke him. This sounds like exaggeration, but really +is not, as those present with me will testify, supposing they read +this tale. Since they never can have seen a dog so conduct himself +before or since, I am sure they will remember the circumstance. He +clawed me frantically, hugged my knees with his strong forelegs, +grovelled at my feet, licked them, rolled over them, rubbed his dear +snout, his ears, his shoulders, upon every part of me that he could +get at, contorting his body in the most grotesque and violent fashion, +as if in the throes of some mysterious convulsive fit. In short, no +hatter or March hare was ever so entirely mad and off his head and +beside himself. + +I confess I was almost as great a fool; seeing which, the kind +household bore with the deafening racket as long as we chose to make +it--ten minutes, perhaps, which must have had the wearing power of ten +hours in that small room. Then, out of pity for my hostess, who was +invalided at the time, and to give human friendship a chance, and +because really a continuation of that Bedlam hubbub would have been +too much for anybody's nerves, I consented to a suggestion that Toby +should be removed for an interval. His young master took him as far +away as the limits of the premises allowed, and shut as many doors +upon him as there were to shut. "Now we can talk," said my hostess, +with a sigh and smile of utter relief. + +So we talked; and as friends who had not met for a long time, as +mothers whose respective children were the most important objects in +the universe, we had a great deal to talk about. We could have +gossiped about our families and affairs for a whole day quite +contentedly, and should have made excellent use of the two or three +hours actually available--had Toby permitted. But he wailed and howled +in his shed in the backyard, and no doors could smother the +distracting sound. We pretended for some time that we did not hear it, +while I answered questions at random, incapable of fixing my thoughts +on anything but him. Finally the strain became unbearable, and the +prisoner was released upon my giving an undertaking that he should +reasonably behave himself. + +He returned like a whirlwind, but, after a brief struggle with +himself, submitted to what he perceived was necessary, and stood under +my hand, trembling, whimpering, thrilling in every fibre, his nose on +my knee, his liquid eyes fixed on my face with such an intensity of +adoring love as I never saw in any other pair. If the pressure was +relaxed for a moment, he leaped like a steel spring in an india-rubber +ball, because he could not help himself, and if I ventured to look at +him he yelped with delight; but he quieted down by degrees, lay on my +skirt, leaning against it in a way to drag the gathers out, licked my +fingers, and was quite happy. + +To please us both he was allowed to stay to dinner, and by this time +he was so far restored to his sober senses that he went to others +beside me to ask for food; and the confidence with which he begged +from each in turn showed that parents and children were all his +trusted friends--that this home, unlike the last, was an ideal home +for a being of his persuasion, the unattainable paradise of the +average dog. This is my one comfort when I think of Toby now. + +Having other engagements, I was obliged to say good-bye to my +entertainers immediately after the mid-day meal. But it was generally +felt that, in spite of his calmer demeanour, there must be no +good-byes to him. Stratagem was resorted to, together with tit-bits of +roast beef to lure him to a part of the house whence he could not see +me go; and as soon as the coast was clear I made off with all speed, +taking care that no door should creak, no gate click, no tip-toe +footstep leave an echo behind me. + +Alas! he heard. No, he did not hear--he _knew_. I was not fairly into +the roadway before he began to shriek with all his might, and now the +shrieks were as full of anguish as they had previously been full of +joy. I never heard anything so heart-thrilling, so heart-breaking in +my life. He was again shut up, and even his strength was not equal to +tearing down the walls that held him, though I am sure he did his +best. I wonder sometimes whether he hurt himself in that paroxysm of +despairing fury, how long it lasted, and what he thought when he was +let out and found that I had not answered his cry, but left him +without a word. + +All the way down the street, and down the next street, and into the +third, as far as the air-waves carried, I heard his voice at the same +pitch. I stood still again and again, agonised by the sound, and _now_ +I cannot imagine how I resisted it. I was hundreds of miles from home; +I was staying in the sort of house that one cannot easily take +liberties with; and, at the end of a holiday, my purse was almost +empty; besides, Toby was no longer my dog, whatever might have been +his views to the contrary, and I knew that his reappearance with me on +my return to my family would be objected to in the strongest manner. +These trivial circumstances overcame the impulse of my heart, and I +passed on. + +It is years and years ago, but I have never forgiven myself, and never +shall. Whenever I think of it--only I cannot bear to think of it--I +suffer pangs of regret and remorse acute enough to bring tears to my +eyes and make me miserable for a whole day. It sounds silly, I know, +but the fact remains. Oh, what things we would do--and not do--if we +could have our time over again! I am not so rich that I can afford to +throw money away, but I would give many hard-earned pounds to reverse +that deed. How readily he would have been given back to me, and +suffered to re-establish himself in his old home, had I properly +represented, and myself properly realised at the right moment, that +our two hearts were set on it; but I let the chance slip, and--his +people leaving soon afterwards for parts unknown--never had another. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE GREAT STRIKE + + +This is another chapter that some readers may like to skip. If talk +about a dog is too trivial for those who do not care for dogs, talk +about strikes and such politico-industrial matters--especially by one +unlearned in the subject--is calculated to bore intolerably the person +who merely seeks in these humble pages a little amusement for an idle +hour. But our great strike, which in point of time belongs to this +portion of my narrative, was part and parcel of my Australian life, +and no picture of that life can be made clear unless I sketch in a +line or two to indicate surrounding social circumstances of the larger +kind. + +When our vice-regal lady, already spoken of, was about to leave us, it +was inevitably desired to make her a parting gift. Subscriptions were +invited, and I gladly accepted the privilege of contributing thereto. +That is to say, I calculated what I could afford and prepared my +cheque. Then I was stopped by a move on the part of the official +promoters; they notified that the names of all subscribers would be +published, obviously with the intention of stimulating them to +generosity, which it did in many instances. It had the opposite effect +on me. Since it was under the eyes of the receiver that this parade of +the givers was to be made, and since there were certain to be +sneers--though it was small-minded to care about them--at the +self-advertiser with social ambitions, I had not the courage to enroll +myself. And the money I had set aside I sent to the funds of the great +Dock Strike in England, which was going on at that time. + +I mention this fact so that the poor working man and his friends may +not gather from any remarks I may make on the subject of Australian +labour conditions the mistaken idea that I am out of sympathy with his +cause. The contrary has ever been the case, and I hope always will be; +as a worker myself, I feel beyond measure for those who are unfairly +hampered in what is so stern a struggle at the best. It has been the +religion of my youth--poorly practised, I confess--to stand by the +down-trodden as against those who in their prosperity walk over them; +but whereas I was once fanatical in the matter, I am cooler-headed +now. Increasingly ignorant as I know myself to be, I understand many +things better than I did in 1889. And such enlightenment as I have +grown to in respect of the case of the working man has been given me +by himself. + +One thing that I have learned is to pay no regard to popular +definitions. The working man at the London Docks is so entirely unlike +in his circumstances to the whole body of working men here that it +seems an absurdity to use the same name for both. The one is possibly +the poorest of his class; the other, I should think, is beyond +question the richest. And half our working men, so-called, are not +only misnamed but grotesquely named; they are no more working men than +Paul Kruger's republic was a republic. + +A few facts may be adduced to show this. But indeed the one bare fact +that this great, rich continent is in possession of less than four +million people, who say they are not able to make a living in it, is +proof enough. + +The "starving unemployed" are never out of our streets. Yet, to quote +newspaper comments on this chronic situation--words continually +repeated, consistently unheeded, although no one can contradict +them--"the country is languishing for the labour congested in the +Metropolis. Private enterprise is dying, being slowly killed by +Government competition. Dairymen are turning their farms into +sheep-runs because they cannot get labour; fruit in the orchards is +rotting on the trees or on the ground from the same cause. The +selectors in Gippsland especially are crippled; they find it +impossible to get their land cleared. But everywhere through the state +there is the same complaint of scarcity of labour.... The Government +has raised the rate of wages to seven shillings a day ... the labourer +naturally prefers the Government stroke, and can be tempted away from +that easy and pleasant way of passing his time only by an increased +rate of wages. That increased rate very few industries can afford to +pay; thus all enterprise is crushed." So that one sees where the main +responsibility lies. It is not all the fault of the spoiled children +when they turn out badly. + +This one of several political Frankensteins now has its creator by the +throat. The "Organised Unemployed of the City" do their best to make +the life of the Government a burden to it. They will not leave the +city even for the Government stroke (synonym for work scamped and +shirked, the pretence of work) elsewhere--on account of their +families, they say, whom they cannot expose to the rigours of Bush +life. "What," cried a shocked deputationist to a courageous Minister +of Railways who had ventured to suggest that course as better for the +families than having their husbands doing nothing in town, "you don't +mean to say that a man should take his wife into the Mallee with him? +Well, any man who wishes a woman to live there in a tent with her +husband has no respect for humanity." The Mallee was "a hell upon +earth," and--on account of the ants that crawled upon the +sleepers--"the sleeping accommodation beastly." + +An independent inquiry amongst a crowd of "starving unemployed" +outside the Government Labour Bureau had some curious results. One +"young fellow" who had been railway cutting, "finding, after a +fortnight's trial, that he could not earn more than thirty shillings a +week, left the job and came back to join" these mendicants. The +reporter of this instance added that "fifty others left at the same +time and for the same reason." Another had thrown up a job of eight +shillings a day on the familiar plea that his wife and family were in +Melbourne. Asked by the inquirer whether he could not have taken them +with him to Camperdown--one of the finest settled districts in the +state--he answered "Yes," but "he could not carry along a quarter-acre +allotment." Another "did not care where he worked, but he must have +twelve shillings a day." + +The same issue of the paper which enlightened us in this way as to +what starving means to some folks, published the following:-- + +"The contractor for the supply of road metal to the Coburg Shire +Council has informed the Shire Engineer that he cannot obtain +sufficient stone-breakers for the necessary work under his contract. +At the meeting of the Council last evening the recommendation of the +engineer that the matter be brought under the notice of the local +parliamentary representatives was adopted." The only comment to make +upon this paragraph is that Coburg is not even country like +Camperdown, but a part of Melbourne. Stone-breaking, it is to be +inferred, is too much like hard work. + +This also is public and uncontradicted testimony:-- + +"It has been represented that many of the men who are clamouring for +employment are unfitted for heavy navvying labour but are eager for +light work. Mr Andrew Rowan, proprietor of St Hubert's Vineyard, put +this desire to the test yesterday. He wanted twenty men to assist in +gathering grapes ... and he went to the Labour Bureau to obtain them. +They were offered a fortnight's work at nine shillings per week, with +good quarters and food, and free passes to the vineyard. Out of 150 +men who were outside the Bureau, only eight promised to go, but +actually only four proceeded to St Hubert's by the appointed train." + +Exactly the same result of a Government effort to make acceptable work +for a large body of the unemployed occurred a few days previous to +this present date of writing. + +But I must hasten to say that these State-made drones--these spurious +workers, deliberately manufactured by Government out of material from +which the genuine article might have been made--are not all the family +of labour in this house of ours. They are not even all the +unemployed, worse luck! + +What, I wonder, are the numbers of those who starve--really starve--in +secret because the law forbids them to work for less than seven +shillings a day, which they cannot earn with service not worth the +half of it--all the old and slow and weak, but yet self-respecting and +self-reliant, whose honest bread the Minimum Wage Act has taken out of +their mouths? One is sick of the continual begging of these victims to +inexorable inspectors and Boards to be allowed to work for thirty +shillings a week--for twenty-five--one poor tailoress, who had +supported herself with her needle for fifteen years, stood up in court +and begged with tears to be allowed to work for twelve shillings and +sixpence, which she said would "keep" her--and seeing the invariable +brutal verdict given against them. I cannot bear to talk about it. + +And there are all those outside what may be called the official +working class, to which even these compulsorily-idle unfortunates +belong--salt amid the rottenness that wastes our young nation almost +before it has begun to live. How many of the fine young fellows who +went soldiering to South Africa have looked to that country for home +and work when soldiering was done? I could name a round dozen amongst +my own acquaintances. As a fact, they and their civilian comrades are +pouring thither as fast as they can get passage money and a hundred +pounds together; every ship that sails that way is packed with them. +"There is no opening for them here," say the fathers and mothers who, +when they were young, fared so differently; and they scrape and screw +to give their boys a chance. Well will they prove the quality of their +manhood if they get it, as the "contingenters" amongst them have +already done. But imagine going from a country like Australia to a +country like South Africa (as it is now) for a chance! + +Take again the youths of our cricket-fields--who, however, are one and +the same. Hard, quick-witted, thorough, "playing the game" in every +sense of the term, there is no evidence about them of deterioration +from British standards; rather the contrary, indeed, for the generous +climate and comparative brightness of life have added buoyancy to the +hereditary temperament, the good that happy circumstances always bring +to the originally wholesome nature. And those young men are the +diluted second generation of the race I knew in the old days--the +pioneers, who feared blacks and bushrangers far less than the +"starving unemployed" fear ants. + +See also the gallant Bushmen who go out into the wilds to "take up" +land, and who stay there, fighting with bare hands not only against +the forces of virgin Nature, but under fiscal burdens heavier than are +borne by any other class; who scorn to ask alms of the State which +they serve so well, and who bring up hardy children to the same fine +traditions of manly self-respect. Think of these men having to "turn +their farms into sheep-runs because they cannot get labour"--working +themselves so hard, early and late, as they do (for at least that is +allowed in their case)--while unworthy loafers are cockered up with +"Government works," often devised on purpose for them, and fancy wages +that they do not pretend to earn! + +Above all, there are the women. In the old times the Bush wives, from +the highest to the lowest, made their homes, so to speak, with their +own hands. The squatter's wife, who later came to her town house and +her carriage, did "all her own work" cheerfully "when she had to do +it," and is rarely ashamed to acknowledge the fact--refers to it, +indeed, with a wistful tenderness of voice and heart that plainly +tells how she compares the hard times with the easy ones. And after +that cataclysm already described--the Bursting of the Boom--when the +revels of riches were so rudely interrupted, as if somebody had turned +the gas off suddenly, what did we see? The girls who had never had to +work, who had seemed to live entirely for pleasure, who appeared to us +eaten up with the frivolity of their luxurious lives, as soon as their +great houses fell, instead of sitting down to mourn and weep, +overwhelmed with the shame of such a tremendous social "come-down," +turned to, like Britons indeed, to help their ruined fathers and to +support themselves. In no faddy, fine-lady fashion either. They took +the work that they could do, with no false pride about its being trade +or otherwise, and at this day you may see them still at it, calm and +business-like, never wanting favour on the score of having "seen +better days," never so much as reminding one that they have seen them. +They run many tea-rooms, or wait in them, or make cakes for them; they +keep various little shops, are milliners and dressmakers, typewriters, +dentists, all sorts of things. + +It was significant that our great Labour War developed with the Boom, +and that the defeat of the insurgents coincided with the downfall of +the rotten edifice that had towered so high. They were correlating +forces, the Boomsters and the Strikers, and worked together to pull +our house about our ears, as effectually as if it had been their +conscious purpose to do so. When the fight began the aggressors had no +wrongs to right, no worthy cause to fight for; on the contrary, they +were in a position to make them the envy of their class throughout the +world. They had but eight hours' toil for a day's wage of eight +shillings to ten shillings and more; universal suffrage; payment of +members in a Parliament where the labour vote was paramount; and +behind them that immense trades-union organisation which embraced the +whole continent, and as a governing power had but a handful of troops +and a few hundreds of police against it. What was left for the working +man to claim? I have searched the records for a justifiable cause of +the effects that made our strike unique in the industrial history of +those times, and I cannot find any. The only ostensible grievance on +the pastoral side was that a few squatters proposed to reduce wages +when wool was "up" and cheated their men by selling them poor food at +high prices; on the maritime side that ships' officers found +themselves, not ill-paid, except as all sailors are ill-paid, but paid +less than the unionist (and therefore more privileged) seamen under +them. If there was any other ground for hostilities it nowhere +appears, and as a fact hostilities were in progress long before the +two grievances mentioned took shape. + +We laughed at a funny little incident that occurred at the beginning +of the year, not realising all it signified. A baker in a poor suburb +had a faithful servant who did not belong to the Operative Bakers' +Society. Discovering this, the O.B.S. demanded his dismissal. The +baker refused to dismiss him. The O.B.S. then detailed two delegates +in a buggy to follow the baker's cart on its rounds, and to prevent +the delivery of his bread at every door. Upon which the baker armed +himself with a gun, and in another buggy followed the delegates, +threatening to shoot them at each attempt to interfere with his +business. The little procession was the delight of the streets for +some hours, I believe, when the delegates retired from the contest to +take out a summons. The baker was haled before justices and fined--but +only ten shillings, in consideration of his gun having been empty, and +of the "considerable provocation" that he had received. What became of +the baker's man I do not know, but I can guess. + +Another case, with nothing laughable about it, was that of a poor, +small farmer, who did all his own work. To him came the secretary of +the Slaughtermen's Union, demanding to be informed who killed his pigs +for market. When the farmer admitted doing it himself, he was told +that unless he joined the Union, and paid up all back fees, his pork +would not be allowed to be sold in the Melbourne markets. He wanted to +know whether the S.U. had leased the markets, or how else they +proposed to bar his pork. Simply, he was informed, by "calling out the +slaughtermen from the sheds of any salesman who dared to sell for +him." Thus this poor man had to join the Union, at a cost beyond his +means, to make himself liable for strikes and other things that he +disapproved of, or starve. And thus did Unionism, designed to +frustrate tyranny, play the licentious tyrant in its turn--not in +thoughtless passion but methodically and on principle, wresting the +liberty of the individual from him by brute force. + +Instances of this kind multiplied daily, and slowly roused +us--long-suffering people as we are--to a perception of our case as +Britons who never would be slaves. This was slave-driving pure and +simple; a bit of the Middle Ages back again, when men were denied +their elementary rights and had no redress. The reign of ignorant +tyranny passed, as it was bound to pass, but it has left its mark on +the national character. The habit of the high hand comes out in all +sorts of ways--in our treatment of our Chinese fellow-citizens, in the +despotic attitude of our Federal Government, which regards foreign +nations as pirates and our coloured brothers as vermin unfit to live. +And how the habit of being bullied has demoralised us is shown by our +acquiescence in a state of political bondage that hardly leaves us +free to blow our own noses in our own way. + +There was no limit to the extravagance of Unionist demands, most of +them ultimatums couched in Kruger-like terms. As, for instance, this +letter addressed to a ship captain who had dispensed with the services +of a misbehaving member of the crew who happened also to be a delegate +of the Seamen's Union:--"Dear Sir,--I am instructed by the members of +the above Society to state that we intend to have our delegate, ---- +----, reinstated on board the ----. If he is not reinstated by the +return of the ship to Sydney, the crew will be given their twenty-four +hours' notice." The agents of the Company replied on behalf of the +captain that the man had been discharged "because a change was +considered advisable in the Company's interests," but that there was +"no objection to his joining one of the other vessels of the Company." +This mild and generous answer was of no avail. The Union called out +the crew, and forbade its members ever to ship under the offending +captain in any vessel whatever. It was the tone of voice in which the +"other side" was habitually addressed. The Mill Employés, who would +have all their managers--gentlemen with salaries of Ł300 and Ł400 a +year, not one of whom could have been replaced from their +ranks--forced to join their Union with them; the Stewards and Cooks, +who would have their members on ships exempted from the punitive +regulations attached to losses of plate, and so on; the Tinsmiths and +Ironworkers, who would abolish piecework--always hateful to the +political working man; the Implement-makers, who would make ten +shillings a day the minimum wage and required other privileges--all +formulated their demands in the terms of the Seamen's letter. Indeed, +the most painful part of the business was the callous rudeness of the +methods pursued, which openly made the redressing of wrongs of less +importance than the humiliating of the adversary on whom, as it were, +the tables had been turned. Of course, it is here that one must admit +the two sides to the question, and make allowances for the one that is +not one's own. Still--even if we would have done the same under the +same circumstances--the element of personal insult was deplorable. +That indignity put upon the captain who was not allowed to know his +own business, or do it, was repeated with others as often as occasion +offered. There was a member of the Engine-drivers' and Firemen's +Association who, being appointed a delegate to some meeting or other, +left his work and went off to attend it without troubling himself to +ask leave of absence. He returned after five days, and was dismissed +for his act of insubordination. Upon which his Union notified his +employers that if they did not reinstate him the workers at his trade +would be called out. No just-minded person, whatever his sympathies, +can condone such unfair and un-British tactics of war. + +These, however, were but the sporadic skirmishes of the campaign. The +great engagements were two--they went on together and intermingled--the +Shearers' Strike and the Maritime Strike. I think the records establish +clearly that the Shearers began the trouble. Coincidently the Marine +Officers (not all the captains--at anyrate, not those of my +acquaintance--who do not desert their posts under any circumstances) +put themselves, which practically meant the ships as well, under the +"protection" of the Trades Hall--put themselves really under the +domination of the men they were supposed to govern, that they might +force the hands of their masters as the latter had done; but it was the +Shearers' announcement, already made, of their monstrous intentions +that showed the ship-owners what they were in for, and the necessity +for putting the foot down at this point. Having, as they expressed it, +"made concession after concession, for the sake of peace, until they +found that the ever-increasing requirements of the labour bodies +threatened to take the control of their business entirely from them," +they now refused to treat with their officers as unionists, taking all +the consequences of so defiant an act. It was a fight for existence +that had come upon them and the Pastoralists, who between them +represented the staple interests of the country; and they combined +their forces and stood up to continue the argument with the weapons of +the other side. They too formed Unions. + +But it was the Shearers who began it. Long before the shearing +season, the squatters had been commanded to employ none but Union men, +and had continued to employ non-unionists, although sparely, just to +show their independence. The squatters, with the farmers, and indeed +all the country dwellers who have settled homes, are the steady-going +Conservatives of the community, some good reasons for which will be +obvious to the thoughtful reader. Country interests seem always--which +is a great pity--opposed to town interests. There is a "country party" +in every parliament, and in the navigation of public affairs it +generally makes bad weather of it; but this is not due to the quality +of its representatives so much as to their deficient quantity, to the +fact that it is too busy at home to take such part in politics as +would qualify it to meet the other side on equal terms. But it is a +tough-fibred, stout-hearted breed of men, that has not accustomed +itself to being bullied. And it said--and stuck to it with truly +splendid gallantry--that no men or body of men could be allowed to +abrogate "the right of all to work peaceably under the laws of their +country." Very well, said the Shearers' Union in the inevitable +manifesto, then "not an ounce of non-union wool shall go unfought from +Australasia." "All right," rejoined the Pastoralists, in effect, "do +your worst." + +Consider for a moment the Pastoralists' case. They too were men +working for their living--we have no leisured class here--and few of +them but had suffered from droughts and bad times, and depended on +their clip to ease financial embarrassments. "A ring of capitalists +conspiring to crush labour" was how they were constantly described by +the strike leaders, but nothing was further from their intentions than +to ruin themselves if they could help it--the patent result of +hostile action at this time. They only accepted that risk because +there was a higher thing than money at stake. The Shearers, on the +other hand, were exceedingly well off. Good men could get Ł30 for a +few weeks' work, and then have the bulk of the year for other +avocations, or go on earning at that rate for months together. And the +shearing was not only the sheep farmer's harvest, it was the country's +as well, and all the interests of the country were bound up with it. + +But the strike leaders said that every ounce of wool that came from a +station on which so much as one non-unionist (a Chinese gardener was +sufficient in one case) was employed, was to be boycotted by the whole +strength of the federated labour organisations, and they +light-heartedly set out to do it. Very soon after the commencement of +active hostilities they claimed "the aid of the labour unions of +England, whom in their hour of need Australia aided so well"--as to +which it may be said that of the Ł20,887 sent to the London dockers up +to 20th November 1889, only Ł5817 was contributed by the trade +societies; the rest was the gift of soft-hearted non-unionists like +myself, who did not bestow it to ask it back again. + +The great shipping companies--I think the British India was the +first--were ordered to refuse non-union wool as cargo. When they +protested that they were mere public carriers for the world, and that +such a local matter was no concern of theirs, the Wharf Labourers were +called upon to refuse to load it or "come out" in a body. Bakers, +butchers, and other trades were not to supply those vessels which +touched the forbidden thing. When clerks and other non-professional +persons took up the abandoned work, the usual picketing and +persecution ensued--the conventional routine of strikes in all +countries. The odds just here seemed hopelessly against the defenders, +the sheer force of numbers overwhelming. The Seamen's Unions, with +which the Marine Officers had cast in their lot, had cast in theirs +with the Shearers and others, or, rather, their leaders had done so +for them; and the crews came out, officers and all, at a few hours' +notice, as they were "called" one after another, although the +passengers might be on board and perishable cargoes doomed. "Wharves +deserted" was a flaring headline in our morning papers, and the number +of vessels named as compulsorily "laid up" rose daily. The campaign, +from the unionist point of view, progressed without a hitch. + +Until the gas-works went on strike. "All the men at the works come +out," was announced to us one morning, and night brought an uncertain +dimness to the streets and a realisation of what was happening--the +plunging of our great city into darkness, while flooded with this +dangerous element of mob rule. + +This did seem a little too much, and the worm turned. There were +meetings of the Cabinet, and a wholesale creation of special +constables. It was announced by Authority that "order must be +maintained at all hazards," and that it was resolved "to bring 100 +members of the Mounted Rifles, with their horses, and 100 members of +the Rangers from the country districts into Melbourne without delay." +It was ordered that these troops "be kept on duty at the Military +Barracks, St. Kilda Road, and not brought into the city unless +occasion should demand it." But the Governor issued a proclamation +which warned all concerned that a state of legal "riot" had arrived, +which called for legal measures. + +The strikers were nonplussed. First, they did not believe in it; then +they felt furiously insulted; then they "went for" revenge headlong. +That is to say, the strike leaders did so, not only because such was +the natural course for them to take, as enemies of society who had had +soldiers set at them, but because it would have been as much as their +places were worth to admit that they had over-reached themselves. +Powerful they must remain at any cost, or, as far as they were +personally concerned, the game was up; and for the remainder of the +fight, as we saw it, they used all that splendid loyalty and +confidence which was, as it were, trust-money in their hands, to this +one end. If the gas-works could not be taken by assault, they could by +mining. The order went forth that "no more coal ships owned by the +Victorian steamship owners be loaded." The ship-owners being to a +large extent the coal-owners, the wide-reaching effects of this move +can be imagined; every poor family felt them. With a stroke of the pen +the Labour Congress in Sydney called out not only "all the miners from +the Western mines," but "all shearers, rouseabouts, carriers and +others _in any way connected with the wool industry_"--plain wool now, +and never mind who took it from the sheeps' backs. This was the last +card of those desperate gamblers--to destroy the wool industry bodily, +Ł20,000,000 of the "living" of 4,000,000 people--and it finished the +game they had already thrown away, so far, at anyrate, as Victoria was +concerned. During the following year, 1891, there was a tough struggle +in Queensland, where shearing began with the first month. The +Amalgamated Shearers had hoped that Pastoralists (now amalgamated too) +would "yet see their foolhardiness, and come to some satisfactory +arrangement in favour of the portion of their new rules, which are +obnoxious to the Shearers;" but the Pastoralists did not. Freedom! +Freedom! was still their cry, and they had more strength to back it +now. And when the disappointed ones took to riding about the immense +colony in armed bands, firing grass and wool-sheds, turning (at +anyrate, threatening to turn) out rabbits, and laying obstructions on +the railway lines that carried non-union workmen, then troops and guns +were sent to all the endangered places as far as they would go round, +so that at last the defence was passed on to the Queensland Government +itself, which had to end the duel. But it was in November 1890 that +the Trades of our colony, in meeting assembled, were informed by their +leaders that the strike was at an end, and they must make the best +terms they could with the employers. And our soldiers had not to be +sent anywhere. The moral effect of their known proximity and purpose, +the disgrace of it, was enough to calm the disorder of the town. +Strike leaders took care to give them a wide berth, and the men, who +were not cowards, showed by their attitude of insulted dignity how +this strong measure on the part of Government brought home to them the +lengths to which they had gone. The captain of a mail steamer once +sketched for me the comical picture of his big ship lying off a +certain hostile shore, under the protection of a British gun-boat that +he could have "put into his pocket"; so this handful of +uniforms--militia at that--sufficed to check that mighty organisation +of tens of thousands which so far had stuck at nothing. They did it +by merely "keeping on duty at the Military Barracks," without showing +a nose outside the barrack gates. + +I do not know whether they were disappointed that no more was required +of them, but I think they were, for it was their first chance of +service in the field--as much as they would ever get, it appeared at +the time. Certainly they responded with alacrity to the call for them, +and "stood by" for action with the air of men enjoying themselves. +Tents were pitched in the Barrack Square, and the little camp seethed +with the excitement of its sudden importance. This feature of the +great strike was one of much personal interest to me, because the +barracks were a haunt of mine at this period. A beloved friend, now in +her grave, was there, the wife of the colonel who created the Mounted +Rifles, who commanded the Second Victorian Contingent in South Africa, +a fine soldier of a race of soldiers, and now a C.B. in Imperial +recognition of the fact. Since the breaking-up of my town home at +Toorak, on the death of its head, whose daughter she was, her official +quarters had been its substitute; and many indeed are the happy +memories that flood back upon my mind when now I ride past the massive +granite pile without stopping as I used to do. As a family residence +it was not considered a success. The Barrack Square, seemingly walled +off, was not walled off enough for officers' little boys; the tall +rectangular rooms were gloomy, the stone stairs cold and prison-like, +the back-yard a mere well in the masonry--although the colonel kept +his shooting dogs there, and tried to keep a cow; the basement a haunt +of rats that ate our boots and shoes while they were down to be +cleaned, and one of those public stenches that Melbourne still keeps +amongst her institutions (though this particular one has been +eliminated) so close under the windows that it was necessary to shut +them when the wind blew a certain way. But it was an interesting place +to visit at, apart from the friendship that has hallowed it to me. The +bugle of a morning sent thrills through my waking senses, with its +associations of the past. The stately bustle of military business, +trampings and clankings, and the omnipotent word of command--the +pleasant officers dropping in so often, the reviews, the tattoos--all +had their charm for me, because then I knew only the picturesque +features of soldiering, the romantic side, which I think now it will +never wear again for anybody. + +And there never was a more interesting time at the barracks than that +which saw these country troops massed on the parade ground, waiting to +be summoned to so new and strange a duty. Their colonel was a man +notorious for plain speaking as for plain acting; the straight word +and the swift blow (if necessary) were his, and a perfect scorn of +consequences. In military affairs especially there was no mincing +matters. Business was strictly business. So he told the men, who might +at any time be called out to suppress civilian rioters, what they were +to do in the terms that they were accustomed to. An orderly patience +was to be maintained up to that point where the line had to be drawn; +if that were passed, then, said he, simply, "Fire low and lay 'em +out." + +To "fire low" was, I believe, enjoined under the given circumstances +by the regulations, and to "lay 'em out' is a colonial expression +covering a wide field. His men understood him perfectly, and nobody +within barrack walls had an idea of the potential sensationalism of +his words. But somebody repeated them outside; the exasperated +unionists got hold of them and found a plausible grievance in them, +and they seem to have been immortalised by the tremendous rumpus that +ensued. Here were poor innocent working men, and here was this +bloodthirsty swash-buckler inciting their own brothers to slay them. +Was the country going to allow such an outrage to pass? Not if they +knew it. The colonel had to stand a sort of military trial for his +offence before the avengers could be appeased. It came to nothing, but +gave him as a scapegoat to the revilings of those with whom soldiers +had become so unpopular. They hissed him in public places. They +soothed the soreness of their other reverses by trying to make his +life a burden to him. But it only hurt him through his wife, whose +bright, good life it saddened deeply for a time. "Fire-low" or "Lay +'em out" took the place of his Christian name in the public mouth, and +they keep it still, only that now the bitter nicknames have come to +sound almost like terms of endearment. + +For when the South African struggle came to widen our outlook in so +many directions, there was such a unanimous call for him all over the +country that it cannot be supposed that his one-time enemies did not +join in it. He was not chosen to lead the First Contingent, and the +crowds through which it passed from us loudly voiced their sympathy +with him in the untoward circumstance. I saw him go with the Second, +and the cheers that followed him from the barracks to the ship were +heart-stirring to listen to. It was thought that he was riding his own +charger, which was safe on board, and his borrowed mount was almost +denuded of its mane and tail by the enthusiasts who wanted a hair as a +memento of him; he was nearly dragged from the saddle by the press of +parting hand-shakers. It was the same when he came back, only more so. +Every returned soldier was mobbed by his friends, but the frenzied +"There he is!" and "That's him!" when the big colonel turned a corner +into view, and the resultant roar of welcome, proclaimed the popular +as well as the peculiar hero. + +The military intervention in the struggle of the strike appeared +decisive, but to deeper causes must be ascribed the modifications in +the situation that remained after the dust of combat was cleared away. +Labour Unions in this country were taught to "play the game" as +soldiers would never have taught them. It was the civilians who +manfully refused to knuckle under, who risked all for honour and the +public good, to whom, more than to any other cause whatever, we owe a +dozen years of industrial peace. And if that same wholesome spirit of +true patriotism would arise again to put down a form of tyranny that +has become quite as oppressive and ruinous as the Unionism of old.... + +But we shall see that too, some day. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +OVER THE BORDER + + +My experiences of life in Australia, long in time, have been narrow in +space. Of the thirty years of this chronicle, not six months were +spent outside Victoria. + +In earlier times I paid little visits to Albury, just over the border. +We drove from Y---- in our first buggy, which was bought there, taking +the babies to a house that was full of playmates for them, and where a +couple more or less added nothing to the family cares. Looking out of +my window one morning I realised why this was so. In a back-yard +below, on a kitchen chair, sat the hostess's young widowed +sister-in-law, who lived with her and was the mother of two; these +two, my two, and the dozen or thereabouts of the family proper, sat or +stood round her like a class in school, and from a huge basin on her +lap she fed the lot, each in turn, a spoonful at a time, round and +round, until the supplies were exhausted. The serious faces of the +little ones as they opened their mouths wide one after the other +showed they were not at games, but performing a duty they were +accustomed to. When I went down to breakfast I was quietly informed +that the children had had theirs and gone out to play. But I think my +clearest memory of Albury is of the splendid Fallon vineyards and +cellars, in which one morning a hospitable proprietor offered us +tastes of his famous brands in innumerable little glasses, which +politeness constrained me to "sample" at all costs. Taking but a sip +of each, I reckoned that I must have swallowed a quantity fully equal +to my daily allowance for a fortnight; and we drove home in the sun +directly afterwards. I am proud to say that, although not a seasoned +vessel, I passed the ordeal undisgraced even by a headache--my late +host had confidently predicted it--otherwise I should not tell this +tale. + +Then I once went to Tasmania--for four hours. This was not very long +ago, and I have ever since been awaiting opportunities to extend my +acquaintance with that charming place--so green, so cool, so rich in +the quality of its earth and all that springs from it, rightly +entitled to its name of the "garden island" as far as my skimming eye +could judge. Being out of health, I had taken one of those sudden +longings for the sea which come over me at such times, an instinctive +animal craving after the natural remedy for my complaint; and I had a +friend in the captain of a smart steamer plying to Tasmanian ports. An +invitation to a trip, as a privileged passenger, was too tempting to +be refused. Thus I found myself one morning, tucked up in pillows and +a 'possum rug in a long chair on the bridge, eating my breakfast of +fried fish and coffee while I gazed at the Tasmanian shore, which we +skirted between ports for several hours. We were near enough to +discern the little farmhouses in the nooks of the hills, the little +figures of milkers and carters, and housewives hanging the wash on the +clothes line; and there was a beautiful coach-road running up and +down and round the corners amongst the trees that I shall never be +satisfied until I have driven over. I have spoken of it to those who +have, and they tell me that imagination cannot conceive of it as more +beautiful than it really is, given the right season and weather. + +By-and-by we turned a corner ourselves and steered into a channel that +presently opened out into a little inland bay, a little port, +connected by a toy railway with Launceston. Its little town and +wharves, where other ships were loading and unloading, occupied a +section of the wooded hills enclosing it; elsewhere the green +basin-rim was dotted with nestling homes, and their orchards and +gardens. It was towards noon, and I was called to an early lunch, +after which the captain appeared in mufti to take me for a walk. We +were through the streets in a few minutes, and on a quiet road lined +with great holly-hedges, a mighty tree of which, one blaze of scarlet, +stood in a garden where the earliest spring flowers were sprouting +from rich brown earth such as I had never seen on this side of the +world. We followed the course of the bay as it narrowed in amongst the +hills until it became a mere woodland brook burrowing under the +bushes. The grass was lush and dewy, and the colour of the soil, where +the path revealed it, as delightful to English eyes as the colour of +flowers. It was too early for more than a sprinkling of these, but I +filled my hands with ferns and other vernal treasures that told me +what a Paradise the land would be in a few weeks if that was a fair +sample of it. We "hustlers" of the mainland think it a fine place to +visit in the hot weather, but far too dull and behind-the-times to +live in; but to those who love Nature and a quiet home, and find +their intellectual resources in themselves, what an ideal environment! +"Here," said I to the captain, as we strolled back to the ship, "is +where I should like to spend my last days--to rest when work is done." +The idea obscured for a time the settled plan of my life, which is to +get "Home" somehow before the final event. We sailed in the afternoon, +and from the bridge I watched the fading of the green land as I had +watched its unfolding, but feeling now that it was my friend for life. +Now and then you look into a face which gives you the masonic sign of +a natural affinity, absent in fifty faces that ought to be more dear; +thus it was with Tasmania, which captured my heart at the first +glance. + +The furthest and the chiefest of my few jaunts abroad was to the +mother-city of the mother-state--Sydney. And there is no place like +Sydney. I am firm on that point, although I am a Victorian, in whom +such an admission is rank heresy; and a son of mine who has spent +several Long Vacs. there--in summer, when I would not go near it--is +even more decidedly of the same mind. It was in the year following +that of my illness in hospital, and while I was enjoying my fresh +lease of life, that I took the journey after several false starts. + +The captain--an intimate friend in private life--of an Orient liner +telegraphed to me his arrival in port, the hour of his departure for +Sydney, and the information that cabins had been reserved for me. Two +of them, I found when I got on board. As I did not travel with a maid +I took but one, which afforded twice the accommodation that I had paid +for; even that I only occupied for a night. It was a stormy night, and +at daybreak the captain and stewardess surveyed from the doorway a +wretched object in the lower bunk, and it was ordered that I be +brought upstairs to the commander's quarters. His cabin on deck had +been my drawing-room the evening before; it now became my lodging +altogether until we reached port. In the fresh air blowing through it, +and after a light meal of champagne and biscuits, I recovered my +equilibrium, and was able to thoroughly enjoy myself all day. Then the +captain betook himself to the chart-room, where he had a bed that the +weather did not allow him to use, and his servant wedged me in with +pillows as I lay, still wearing the becoming and comfortable +dressing-gown of semi-public life. I had promised not to undress, in +view of his intention to fetch me up to the bridge when the little +world below had done with us, that I might be gratified by the sight +of a storm at sea under circumstances quite outside the common +experience and never likely to occur again in mine. It was officially +a "full" gale, and the newspapers of the next morning reported the +velocity of the wind to have been up to eighty miles an hour. It was, +moreover, the depth of winter and the dead of night. The turmoil of +the sea was tremendous, but it did not upset me now; I was quite well +and happy, swinging to the heavy roll and pitch of the ship in the +soft but tight clasp of my wedging pillows, thankful that no feeling +of sleepiness came to waste the time that was storing such romantic +impressions. Presently the skipper called at the half-open door. He +had oilskins and a woollen scarf, into which I was buttoned and tied; +he dragged me out into the storm, and somehow we staggered and +struggled over the swimming deck and up the stairs to the bridge and +the chart-room, where I spent half of the most wonderful night of my +life, with him and the helmsman and the spirits of the Deep. The +picture of that midnight sea could not fade from my memory in a +thousand years. Looking down from our high platform in the air at the +bulk of the vessel under us, big mail steamer that she was, the +thought of her as man's work, effectually defying, as it seemed, the +whole weight of the Universe, was more inspiring than words can say. +Still more wonderful was the fortitude and vitality of two ships that +passed us, fighting against the furious wind and not being hurtled +along before it as we were. I was sure they were foundering, but not a +bit of it--they were only going to be late at their destination. + +We were early at ours, passing through Sydney Heads at daybreak before +pilots expected us. When I went down to my cabin to dress I found my +belongings stowed on the upper bunk and the rest of the room wet from +the deluging seas that had swept us through the night. It was raw and +grey now, but calm within the harbour, the loveliness of which did not +reveal itself to me immediately. I was too rushed to get my hair done +and my shore clothes on to have time to look for it. Here we have +three hours of smooth water on which to make landing toilets; Sydney +has but a few minutes. When I returned, cloaked and bonneted, to my +late host, his successor was with him, awaiting me; and I was soon at +breakfast on shore, making the acquaintance of what I believed to be +the most charming city in the southern hemisphere. Well, at anyrate, +it is incomparably charming to me. Of course, if I had gone there as a +friendless woman, to struggle for a living in cheap lodgings, I might +have pronounced it ordinary--even horrid, a term that I once actually +heard applied to it by a mole-eyed person to whom it had never given a +good time. Or if I had gone again, to get second impressions. Or if +the weather--that arbitrary dispenser of joy and beauty--had not been +as heavenly-sweet as it was for all the three weeks of my sojourn +there. My letters from home reported rain, snow, dull skies, bad +colds, a thorough winter of discontent; I was out every day in +sunshine tempered with cool sea winds, an exhilarating freshness that +made a bit of fur and an evening fire comfortable; and the wild +flowers of spring were beginning to speckle the hills--cascades of +something like white foam surrounded a rocky lunching camp on a +memorable occasion--although it was only July. + +I cannot recall one hour that does not bring pleasant thoughts to +mind. Even at night I lay with the gleaming harbour under my eyes +whenever I liked to open them to look, and I loved the strange +experience of having my room flooded as with a search-light by the +revolving beam of the great South Head Light. As an early riser I +habitually wake at dawn, and then I watched the moving ships--a +pastime I could never weary of--until called to my bath. They curved +in and right up to the thresholds of our doors--that is one of the +features of this harbour which few others can match. The masts seem to +grow out of the streets, and you can step from the deck of a great +liner to your cab as easily as from one room to the next. + +At breakfast the programme for the day was submitted, and always it +had been carefully compiled so as to comprise as much variety of +pleasure as possible. I was taken on a cursory tour over the city the +first day--round the Domain and through the main streets and +beauty-places, to get that first good impression which has so much to +do with the after ones. I was enchanted with Sydney--even with the +narrow and twisted thoroughfares that are the mock of all good +Melbournites; they give "bits" of architectural composition delightful +to the uncommercial eye. In the evening we went to the theatre, and +afterwards to Parliament House, where the debaters came between whiles +to speak to us, and where I enjoyed a quite new and intensely +interesting experience up to one o'clock in the morning. Next day I +was at the Prorogation, and members entertained us with champagne in +private rooms, and I was shown parliamentary life behind the scenes. I +remember Lord Brassey was there, a visiting yachts-man, whom we did +not then anticipate would be anything more to us. As the hero of _The +Voyage of the Sunbeam_--then lying in Farm Cove, open to sightseers--I +looked at him a great deal, and also at the author of that book, who +at the ceremony sat just before me with her little daughters. She was +having her last taste of travel and of life. + +The afternoon of the same day brought quite a change of scene. That +very nice man, the current American Consul, came to fetch us to a +function that was after my own heart--the "send-off" of a popular +American actress by the San Francisco mail. I cared nothing who the +honoured person was; to assist at the departure of a ship was enough +for me. In a carriage piled with flowers we drove to the quay, and +there took tender for the _Zealandia_, lying in Lavender Bay. Before +the arrival of the heroine of the occasion I investigated the ship +that was to carry her--wondering if the day would ever come when such +an one would carry me. Then the crowd gathered until all one's wits +were needed to avoid being crushed in alley-ways and corners. The +distinguished traveller did not impair the effect by arriving too +early; her company preceded her, also her humble husband, hugging her +jewel-box to his breast as he hunted for the purser to take it from +him and deposit it in the strong-room, and while still unrelieved of +his responsibility naming to us and the general public the enormous +sum that it was worth. When at last she came--such a small and +ordinary-looking, every-day woman compared with the glittering stage +vision of the previous night--she was nursing and guarding a strange +bundle of her own, which, when opened in her cabin, disclosed a little +native bear that she was taking home to make a pet of. The wallet that +was to be its travelling house was lined with fur and had been +carefully constructed for the purpose, and a consignment of the +animal's natural foods was amongst her luggage. We crowded into her +room, where more champagne flowed, not always into the right +receptacles; bouquets were presented--they heaped her bed--and +speeches made. Then visitors were rung off the ship, and sat round in +their various small boats to cheer and wave handkerchiefs while the +_Zealandia_ got under way, and then chased the stately liner as long +as they could keep up with her. Our golden-haired friend was kind +enough to stand where we could see her, and was still hugging the fur +bag with the little bear in it as we looked our last. When we regained +the Consul's carriage he took us a drive round the Domain for the +balance of the afternoon, that loveliest hour when Sydney glows pink +in the setting sun and the whole scene is steeped in a dream-like haze +that I never saw in any other place. I suppose the smoke and other +breathings of the city, blending perhaps with exhalations of the sea, +weave that wonderful veil. It is certain that the paintings of a +sinking sun upon distant ranges in the country are never so beautiful +as when there is a Bush fire about. + +Next morning to Lane Cove--the first of the unforgetable series of +excursions about that harbour which indeed the wildest boasts of its +shore-dwellers could never do justice to. In the bright winter +weather, which to all intents and purposes was spring--the mean +temperature of Sydney, by the way, is two degrees above that of Nice, +and roses are never out of flower the whole year round--I suppose I +saw it at its best. We landed from the steamer on a bosky and solitary +shore, and basked awhile on beach boulders encrusted with oysters, +before climbing the steep paths to look at views. My son tells me that +when he goes on these excursions with his young parties they take +bread and butter and their pocket-knives with them, so that they can +sit down to a meal of oysters at any place or time. There was another +charming drive in the afternoon; in the evening theatre again, and a +midnight visit to a great newspaper office, where I was initiated into +the mysteries of newspaper production by all the modern processes, +including that of photographing by electric light. + +Next day to Coogee--an ocean shore, with great breakers thundering on +it. Here lived a literary wife and painter husband in a little wooden +house perched high upon the cliffs, where I think we lunched. A +Saturday night party of authors, artists, and press-men--my host was a +distinguished member of the latter clan--completed another day in the +most brilliant manner. Talk of good company! I smile when I compare +that party with any Society party that I ever attended. But no +comparison is possible. + +It is one of my delightful memories of Sydney, that it had this +intellectual kernel at its heart. I might not have found it in a +lifetime had I entered the social life of the place by any other door, +and so I hardly like to say that we have nothing of the kind in +Melbourne, where my opportunities of search are limited. But friends of +my own profession, who know the resources of both capitals, agree in +the opinion that there really is nothing like it here. The number of +representatives of letters and the arts, to whom mind and not money is +the essential thing, may be as great, but there is no cohesion amongst +them. They are lost in the general crowd. The little guild in Sydney +was a compact and living body, and carried out its objects in uniting +together with a sincerity rarely to be met with in the history of +clubs. Subscriptions were not the first consideration--nor the second, +nor the third; the question of its outward appearance was of the least +importance. No gilding, no formality, no ćsthetics--liberty and ease, +any sort of a chair, a pipe and the right companionship--that was the +idea; and it was good indeed to see the traditions of the intellectual +life respected in that way. + +I was its guest at a conversazione on the Wednesday following the +Saturday supper-party. The intervening time was filled with fresh and +bright sensations--more harbour trips, alternating with rambles about +the old quarters of the town, the "Rocks," Argyle Cut, the +Observatory, those blind streets and steep stairs from one tier to +another, which struck me as so romantic and un-Australian; and the +Arts Club's entertainment made the best possible contrast and relief +to these. We did not dress too much. I was advised that my skirt must +clear the ground, and for the rest a modest fichu and elbow sleeves +seemed the most that good taste permitted. We set forth on foot in the +cool darkness, comfortably untrammelled, and on arrival were received +by our friends of the previous Saturday and many more, who piloted us +through a series of little rooms, which were soon packed to the point +where a dress-train would have rendered its wearer altogether +immovable. We squeezed from place to place, a step at a time, ever +meeting somebody or something to make us positively enjoy the heat and +crush. Chairs and necessary tables, a piano, a blackboard, a raised +platform or two, comprised the furniture of the homely suite; its +ornaments were sketches pinned all over the walls, and the scientific +and artistic things that covered the tables, outspread for the ladies' +amusement. The mural decorations were fine. Phil May was a leading +light of the society, and the grimy and bedaubed plaster laughed with +his conceits at every turn. Amongst them was a portrait of the then +Governor of New South Wales, Lord Carington, as an utterly +disreputable vagabond. With no name to it, it was such a speaking +likeness of him, as he would have been if he could have metamorphosed +himself into such a character, that no one mistook the subject for an +instant. It was a focus of mirth the evening through. I wonder what +became of it? It might have been disrespectful, but it was a work of +art, and I think he who had inspired it would have valued it as much +as anybody. When, amongst other entertainments, this gifted +artist--and his equally (I used to think more) gifted colleague, "Hop" +of the _Bulletin_, who, still remaining with us, has not shared his +comrade's fame--drew "lightning sketches" on the blackboard with a +lump of chalk, we saw pictures that it was indeed a wicked waste to +destroy for ever a few seconds after they were made. Consummate +artfulness as well as art was employed, for the strokes were so put in +that we could not make head or tail of them until only the crowning +one or two were needed; then suddenly the multitude roared as with one +throat, and someone in the audience sat up in confused astonishment, +while everybody else turned to look and laugh at him. The last touch +of the chalk had given us his portrait to the life, with a shade of +caricature more or less, but unmistakable. I have always looked back +to those lightning sketches, so witty, so good-natured, so extremely +clever, as the most refined form of entertainment that I ever enjoyed, +and certainly the most generous. In other rooms were music, +recitations, microscopes, and such things; and everywhere kindred +spirits were intermingling and intercommuning. The ungarnished supper +was carried on trays over our heads--coffee and sandwiches, and cakes +and tarts from the pastry-cook's--and distributed to hands and mouths +with much difficulty and various mishaps; and at last we broke up and +broke away, and trotted home through the beautiful fresh night, still +exhilarated with all the mental champagne we had imbibed, leaving our +hosts, as we were secretly informed, to make a night of it on their +own account over pipes and whisky. + +There was yet another Saturday party--the party of them all. We +started out to it in the sweetest weather to be found on earth, sunny +and fresh, the living light of the sky the colour of nemophilas and +the sea like liquid diamonds under it--poor similes both for the glory +of that spring-like winter morning. On foot from Pott's Point to the +Quay, by boat to Mosman's, up the ferny sandstone hills to breezy +heights where I stood enraptured to look upon the Sound and the Heads +and the Pacific outspread below, and down a crooked woodland path to a +sequestered beach, we took our way: and if there had been nothing to +get to at the end, the walk alone would have been a joy for ever. But +on that lonely bit of shore, backed by the steep hills, fronted by the +open gateway of the Heads, stood "the Camp"--the camp, if I may be +allowed to remind the reader (with apologies, owed twice over, to the +camp's proprietors), which I sketched in my novel, _A Marked Man_, +written while the impressions of the place were fresh in my mind. The +proprietors were two members of the Arts Club--men with homes and +families in the city--who made this their private resting-place and +holiday resort. They had gathered a choice assortment of their +fellow-members on this occasion; they were "giving a party." But no +woman had been allowed to take any hand in the affair; their wives +were as much guests as I was; their cook was their old sailor +caretaker, whose huge blocks of cold roast and boiled, hot potatoes +and plum duff, bread and cake from his own camp oven, required no +kickshaws to supplement them. It was a banquet for the gods, with that +sauce of sea air to it. The permanent tent, combined sitting- and +bedroom, was the drawing-room of groups of us in turn; we crowded on +the covered-up truckle beds and the floor (of pine boards, well raised +from the sand) for afternoon tea; at lunch we sat on planks under an +awning, at long plank tables, like children at a school feast. It was +a perfect "spree," but at the back of the merry trifling was that deep +intellectual enjoyment of cultivated minds rubbing together which is +so rare in social gatherings. We strolled in twos and threes along the +lovely little beach, and sprawled under the bushes, and talked, +talked; a few games had been provided, but there were no blanks to +fill with them after lunch had crystallised us. The walk back to the +boat was the best of all. The sun was setting as we climbed out of the +glen of the camp, and, looking back from points of vantage as we rose, +we saw the moon swim up over the North Head--black as ebony above the +pale glitter of the water, while all other visible land was wrapped in +that beautiful rosy haze which so glorified every feature of it. Then +the great South Head Light began its revolutions, pouring over us and +the darkening path at intervals of a minute. I do not know how far +that long ray reaches, but I know that it is brilliant in the eyes of +the homing traveller for hours before his steamer makes the Heads. + +It was on the following morning that we took boat for Watson's Bay, +and stood near the lighthouse to look down the sheer wall at the foot +of which the _Dunbar_ was wrecked, one only of her living freight +surviving to tell the tale. It was awful to think of that event with +the scene under one's eyes--the jagged cliff face going down and down, +the thundering whirlpool raging at the bottom of it; and this was a +sunny Sunday morning, and that was pitch-black night, so thick with +rain and storm that a careful navigator accustomed to the port could +not see the beacon lit for him. But it was not, I think, the present +light; it could not have been. + +Those out-door excursions and intellectual entertainments--and I have +not named the half of them--come first in my memories of this time; +they are the pictures "on the line"; but around them were packed many +social incidents of a less special but still interesting kind. We went +to men-o'-war parties, which are always charming--the German +_Bismarck_ in particular was splendidly hospitable--and the American +Consul took pleasure in giving us dinner-theatre evenings. Between +whiles we gave parties at home, and filled the interstices with +drives. And so every day was a full holiday, and I was always well, +and the sky was always blue and the sun shining. And so, when people +ask me what I think of Sydney, I tell them that it is an earthly +Paradise. Nothing will shake that conviction--until I go again. + +I returned home overland, rather than descend to the status of an +ordinary passenger on a steamboat to whose captain I was unknown, and +I left my glass slipper on the Redfern platform. "Would you," implored +a strange lady at my carriage window, as the express was about to +start, "oh, would you mind taking charge of this little girl, who is +travelling to Melbourne alone?" She handed up a child, and what could +I do? I said I was not accustomed to taking charge of myself, that I +had never made the journey before, and was not going as far as +Melbourne; but she was sure it would be all right. What a night I had, +with no sleeping berth available! And in the dark of the raw morning, +when we were bundled out at Albury and into the hands of the Customs' +officers, while looking after the child's luggage I lost my own, and +did not recover it for months afterwards. And then I landed at W----, +chilled to the bone and exhausted with my fatigues, and had to wait +many hours for the B---- branch train; and finally reached home to +find winter again and all kinds of arrears of work awaiting me. I sat +down to mend the stockings, and two days later there was snow upon the +ground. + +After all, that was the best part of it. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +THE END OF BUSH LIFE + + +In 1893 our long country life came to an end. For years we had been +hankering after a Melbourne parish, and at times, I must confess, had +done a little canvassing for the vote and interest of the influential, +under the well-founded impression that Providence helps those who help +themselves; but it is very hard, when once "out of it," as the +country-clergy describe their case, to get in, and we had come to +consider our chances of metropolitan preferment as about equal to that +of the camel which would pass through a needle's eye. Then suddenly it +came to us, unsought. + +There are three ways of reaching the goal, in our diocese. To be +elected by the Board of Nominators is the regular way. When a parish +falls vacant the Board meets to fill it from a prepared list of +eligible candidates. The diocesan nominators have probably agreed upon +their man; the equal number of parochial nominators have almost +certainly done the same; the Bishop, acting as chairman, has the +casting vote. There is generally a friendly discussion, in which one +side or the other may allow itself to be over-ruled, but the result +may be fairly calculated upon when the parish representatives are +united and resolute, and not too unreasonable in their choice. Since +they pay the piper, they naturally demand to call the tune, and +considerations of justice no less than of peace make it inadvisable to +force an unwelcome instrumentalist upon them. What the parishes want +is the man they know--the man on the spot, that is--and let him be as +young and smart as possible. Seniority and long service have no part +in the merits of the case, so far as they are concerned. The old Bush +parson who, in his favourite phrase, has borne the burden and heat of +the day, and sees himself deprived of what he regards as his +legitimate reward, is not the man for them; for the efficiency of a +church in this country is in the last resort a matter of money, which +is also--it cannot be denied, nor can it be helped--the matter of +first concern to its official guardians. A good man is desirable, of +course, but not if he is too old and out of date to draw the large and +lively congregation necessary to the maintenance of a satisfactory +income. This is the squalid way in which the voluntary system works, +and I often wish the advocates of Disestablishment at home could live +under it for a few years. On the other hand I know the defects of the +arrangement I was brought up to. I remember a half-witted rector of my +child's days, occupant of a family living, who used to run belated to +the reading-desk dragging on his surplice over his hunting pinks and +tops, or leave us to wait for him in vain while he carried his +Saturday diversions too far afield to get home for Sunday; and another +who left all to a poor curate while he lived on the income of his fat +living in foreign parts; and still another--the son of a bishop, who +had bestowed the plums of the see upon him ere he was grown up--whose +long retinue of liveried servants was an object of interest to me at +church, and who, one of the last of the big pluralists, still alive +in old age when I left England, was too high above his parishioners to +be approached except through the humble curate. There are faults in +both systems--in all. And as for the one I am speaking of, which +leaves the old worker unpaid, and gives the prize to the beginner who +has not earned it, I for my part do not see that any great wrong is +done. That the world is for the young is Nature's own decree; if we, +who are no longer of that fortunate company, cannot see it, we ought. +We too have been young, we should remember, and have had our favoured +day--that day when we had as good a chance of getting the better of +our betters (if they were our betters) as those who supersede us now. +But what I started to say was that the regular path of promotion to a +Melbourne parish is to be elected by the Board of Nominators, and that +that path was virtually closed to us--not because we were old, for we +were not, but because we were so distant and little known. + +The second way is to be appointed directly by the Bishop. But, with +few exceptions, the Bishop can choose for himself only in the case of +parishes too small to have their own nominators, or not bothering to +have them, or not qualified to have them because their churches are +still in debt. A church must not only be built, but paid for, before +it can be consecrated, the act of consecration carrying with it full +parochial rights. These lame ducks of parishes did not come into our +account. + +The third way is by exchange. This was our way. + +G., being in town, fell in with the incumbent of the place which is +now our home. He had occupied it for many years, without thought of +leaving it; but his wife was convalescing from severe illness, and +the doctor had advised that she be taken from the sea to a bracing +inland climate. The climate we had to offer seemed the very thing--and +I may say here that it proved so, even beyond expectations--and the +suggestion of an exchange, coming in the nick of time as it did, was +hailed as a special interposition of Providence. That was exactly what +we thought it. + +About a week after G.'s return, Canon S. came up to B---- to +investigate. It rained hard, and he was a little dashed at first; he +called the picturesque little house a "shanty," though not in our +hearing. But when the weather cleared he brightened with it, and I +think I may say that he never had another regret in connection with +the place. The vestry was consulted, and the three parish nominators +gave consent. A few days later the Bishop gave his. Then G. went to +town, to be "passed," in his turn, by the vestry of the other parish, +and a night or two afterwards, as I was going to bed, the telegraph +boy brought me a message from him:--"All satisfactorily settled." + +The invalid came up, and we established her, with a daughter, in the +nicest lodgings we could find. She was a dreadful wreck, apparently +past being mended by any climate, but the next time I saw her she beat +all the records of persons of sixty-five for joyous energy and +youthfulness. "I wake up in the morning," she said to me, "and wonder +what it is that makes me feel so happy." It was the same with her +husband, several years her senior. "I can walk twelve hilly miles, and +take a service, and walk back again," he bragged, his figure and step +and fine-featured old face alert and alive. "I am twenty years younger +than when I came." + +Certainly B---- deserves to be one of the sanatoriums of the world, +and it is the fact that English doctors, who knew its virtues, sent +several hopeless invalids to us, either to make miraculous recoveries +or to prolong for years in tolerable comfort some life not worth a +month's purchase at home. One of the latter cases I lovingly recall to +mind--that of a gifted young fellow who, with mother and sisters, had +rooms in our chief hotel year after year, although he came to us in +apparently the last stage of consumption. He was a dear friend of +mine, and a loss to the stock of intellect and genius in the world. +"Don't you think I'd better stop this?" he once said to me as we were +taking a Bush walk. "I am keeping my mother too long from her home and +the rest of her family, and doing nothing to compensate her for what I +cost." He meant that he had only to cease breathing that life-giving +air to bring on the inevitable end, and that the sooner it came the +better for those who were exiled for his sake. We discussed the matter +quite fully, and in the quietest way, and I persuaded him that it was +better to go on, on their account and his own, at least until the +effort became too painful. He died amongst us at last, but none of +them regretted those saved years which he unquestionably owed to the +B---- climate. A consumptive friend of his came out to try the cure, +and became so well that he thought himself proof against further +danger, and went home again--to die. Another consumptive, whom winters +on the Riviera and in the Engadine had failed to benefit, lived in +B---- for, I think, five years, and from the day he came gained much +ground and never lost any; he was an active townsman, hard put to it +to find enough to do, and seemed to enjoy life as much as any of us. +Unfortunately he had a delicate wife, a sufferer from acute asthma, +for which a milder climate was required. The rare and vigorous climate +of our hills was pronounced to be as bad for her as it was good for +him. She grew worse and worse, and so they struck camp and went down +to live by the sea--and there he died. Of course he might have died if +he had stayed in B----. On the other hand, he might have been alive +now. + +But the best proof I can give of the healthiness of those parts is the +case of three brothers, the elder of whom entertained me on my first +visit into the remoter wilds of our first parish. Originally they were +four brothers, sons of a highly-placed English clergyman, all four +smitten with consumption, out in Australia to save their lives, if +possible. One was too far gone and died before he could get a start; +another, being at the time in apparently sound health, was killed in a +buggy accident many years later; the remaining two are still enjoying +life, as hale as the average old man of their age, and indeed more +than that. The elder, on that memorable drive to his home amongst the +Murray ranges, told me he had left England with but one lung. "I used +to feel it when digging or climbing hills," said he, "but now it +troubles me very little"--and that was thirty years ago. He had +already been some time in the country. + +They had good blood in their veins, but little or no money in their +pockets, and they had to make their own way by the hardest of hard +work--the sort of work that was done in those days, when men were men. +Indeed, the history of their career is the most instructive thing that +I can put into this casual chronicle, and I am glad I thought of it +before too late. + +The three brothers took up land, wild, uncleared land, together; each +had his own piece, but neighboured the other two. With their own hands +they felled trees and made fences, and built their huts and yards, dug +and ploughed and milked and all the rest of it--these consumptive +lads!--which seems to show that not only the right air, but strong +exercise in it, is necessary for the complaint. They spent nothing in +labour and next to nothing on food. They raised their own meat and +vegetables, made their own candles--after awhile sold them as +well--and their own soap; used wild honey for sugar, and indeed +carried frugality to the finest point in every direction. As soon as +they could marry they chose useful wives, who did not want servants, +but would nurse the baby with one hand and scrub and wash and make +butter with the other. When I paid the visit I speak of I found the +children trotting about bare-footed, in linsey-woolsey (I forget how +to spell that word) overalls, little sacks in shape, with two holes to +put the legs through, in which they could make mud pies without +spoiling anything. At dinner, after the mutton, there was a lovely +apple pudding, as I thought; I remember my greedy chagrin at finding +it was filled with quinces (so soon after the W---- quinces), to be +eaten with wild honey instead of sugar. The jams were also made with +wild honey, and the cakes and other sweets. + +This was the way to get on in the world, and the fortunes of this +household rose to the level of its deserts. Soon after I had made his +acquaintance, the house-father took a trip home, leaving his admirable +wife to keep things going in his absence. He came back with three +young Jackaroos, sons of the good families associated with his own, +enterprising lads with money and a desire for the life he had made +successful; they paid him high premiums for instruction, and he set +them on his farm work--which was far better, from his point of view, +than paying professional labourers to do it. One of them felt +aggrieved at being kept at milking and fencing within such narrow +bounds, and ran away and was never heard of more--by me; the other +two, and more who followed them, bought stations and took root in the +country, which they have made their own. + +So this plan of the relays of paying instead of paid labourers +increased the resources of our friend, and he started upon fresh +enterprises. He parted with his much-improved holding, settled his +family in a town where the growing children could go as day scholars +to one of the best public schools, and started for "out back" in +Queensland. Land speculation here was a big thing, with big money +hanging to it, in those days; and he was the right man for the golden +chance he saw. He took up country, no longer by acres but by miles, +did something to it to give it a claim to be a civilised "property," +sold it, and went back further to repeat the process. + +In a short time he was a very wealthy man. I believe the Boom and its +consequences gave him a bad set-back, but he could afford it. His +family, in a fine town house, have lived the life of the rich for many +years. The other surviving brother was of a slower temperament. He +still sits, as Dik would say, upon the same land that he first +squatted on--probably in the same house (with additions to it). He +dairy-farms, as so many of his neighbours now do, getting up with his +sons in the middle of the night to milk and to drive the load of cans +to the Butter Factory near by. He still works hard, and he has not +made his fortune. A quiet, staunch, useful man in shire and church and +all the relations of life, and "as good as they make 'em." Both are +good, and their country would be the better of a few more of the same +sort. + +And to think that it was all due to the accident of climate! For one +may be almost sure it was. + +Walk some fresh spring or autumn morning up those hills, as I used to +do--having always loved to kill two birds with one stone, and three +birds if possible, I would at those seasons take my work there, so as +to combine business with pleasure and with profit to my health--and +you will feel that you are literally drinking the elixir of life. A +week ago I went to call on an old friend come back from England, after +some years' residence there--her husband had been one of those very +Jackaroos of whom I have just been speaking--and she told me she had +been for a trip up to B----, where she had once lived, while we were +there. "I had forgotten," she said, "what that air was. It was a new +revelation to me. There certainly can be nothing like it in the +world"--and she had been travelling extensively. Yes, although I was +ill there, and felt that nothing but the sea would cure me, I go back +now at intervals, when the sea has temporarily failed in its effects, +and I get the same surprise that she did, every time. I step out upon +the little platform in the clear, cold night, at the end of my long +journey from the muggy city, and that stuff that I draw into my +expanding lungs makes a new creature of me in three breaths. + +Well, those mornings in the hills ... let me try to describe one of +them--in April, let us say. + +It begins with a nipping-cold bath and a roaring fire to breakfast by. +But while we pile the logs on the hearth we also set wide the two +door-windows to the sun. The meal and little housekeepings disposed +of, I look out over the tree-fern on the rockery to the sky which I +can see above the bank of new-blown chrysanthemums that line the upper +fence--look at the cat basking full-length on the threshold--and fetch +my big hat. Half an hour later I am in another world. + +It is ten o'clock, and the sun has been shining with all its might +since eight, yet the dew is thick on the steep and rugged track and on +the little strips of lawn between the rocks; my stout boots, made on +purpose for this rough work, and the hems of my petticoats are +drenched. No delicate wild flowers in these verdant spaces now. The +grass tufts are sprinkled with dead leaves and wisps of bark with the +colour bleached out of them. When those brittle shavings were freshly +peeled their outsides were a rich chocolate tint and the insides a +tender shade of lilac. They come from a large-leaved kind of gum-tree, +and I have often carried bits home and laid them on my writing-table, +merely to look at the colour, as if they were flowers; but they fade +like flowers too. + +11 A.M.--I sit with pencil and paper on my knee. The sun has long +since dried my skirts and is now burning my boots. I bask in the +warmth and the matchless air, like the cat on the doorstep, and +(having successfully dodged my dog) in the utmost solitude that can be +imagined. Though the hidden town behind me is so near, I have only +once, in scores of mornings, met a human being here--a local +naturalist with a butterfly-net. Not even a bridle-track threads the +thousand hills of which the one I sit on is as a single wave in a +heaving sea--a sea flowing to the horizon. The distant ranges and the +sky are of hues that neither language nor pigment could give an idea +of. The ranges are covered with trees, the rounded, feathery tops only +showing, with the effect of plush or the bloom of downy fruit; their +turquoise tint has a shade of indigo in it, deepening in the folds to +an intenser colour. The sky is living blue light, without an earthly +stain. + +Nearer--more within the limits of this world--wooded and rocky slopes, +darkly green against those heavenly blues, fold over unseen valleys at +my feet; nearer still, the gum saplings, with the sun shining through +their leaves, the sharply-contrasting spears of Murray pine, the +tossed heaps of granite rocks, mossed, lichened, fern-fringed in shady +crevices, the wattle tree that makes a frame for the beautiful whole. +It will be a golden frame later on; to-day its blossoms are +represented by crinkled buds of the size of a pin's head. Spiders' +webs shine between twigs and the green blades under them. The light +flashes up and down the little threads continually; they are never +still, though there is hardly a stir of air. + +But never was solitude less lonely. There is only too much +companionship for the purpose I have in view. The leaves talk, +although there is hardly a stir of air--the little tongues glitter at +the edges as they swing and turn; and another voice accompanies them, +one that never ceases and cannot be ignored. It belongs to a waterfall +in a hidden gorge near by. The stream, yellower than any Tiber with +the washings of gold mines, tumbles several hundreds of feet over a +jagged staircase of rock to the valley beneath, and makes a great +commotion at that place; here it is merely a purring, crooning whisper +all the time. Birds are scarce, but every now and then a handful of +minute brown things, with a delicate little unobtrusive twitter, +scatter themselves around me. A crow comes and sits as near as he +dare, to complain of my intrusion; perhaps he does not mean to +complain, but his comment upon my presence seems a perfect wail of +woe. As for the ground-dwellers--lizards, spiders, ants--they are +constant company, and the most distracting of all with their +complicated manoeuvres, which are full of cultivated intelligence when +you come to look into them, There was a time when the presence and +curiosity of so many little active creatures seemed a drawback to the +otherwise perfect charm of the place, but now I do not mind them any +more than they mind me. The trouble is that I cannot mind them less. +More and more I neglect my own business to watch them at theirs, until +I have to recognise that this study would have to be given up, even if +winter were not near. + +Winter ... that word reminds me of other scenes. There is an entry in +my journal against June 6th, 1887:--"Five hours' heavy snow. Five +inches on the ground." And another for the same month two years +later:--"Woke up to find everything white with snow. Four inches +officially reported. Broke trees and bushes." Our distant ranges used +to wear white caps for weeks together, and white mantles on occasion, +but oh, the joy of shovelling snow in one's own garden! It rarely +stayed long enough to be shovelled, but once in a way it did, and the +first of the occasions cited is unforgetable, because it was the +first. + +All the year round we sleep with windows open; here the upper sash was +pulled down level with the lower, and stayed so night and day; and +that window was at the foot of the bed. In wakeful hours I could watch +the stars shining through the branches of the trees, and trace the +shadow-patterns of the moon when it was her night out. Accustomed to +rise early, I rarely fail to note the first glimmer of the dawn, and +the first shaft of sunlight was levelled straight at my eyes, as by a +marksman ambushed behind the looking-glass. As the sun rose I used to +lie with eyes half shut to see the dazzle of rainbow colours that then +filled them--as likewise to see, involuntarily, how the room was swept +and dusted. There was a beautiful rosy-blossomed tree framed by that +open square--I forget its right name, the "Tree of Heaven" was that +given it by the vulgar tongue (I think it belongs to Queensland)--and +it was my almanac the year round. Every morning a little bud grew +bigger, a frond uncurled a little more; as the days passed the foliage +spread and thickened, the leaves yellowed, browned, and fluttered +away. And then the rain would drive in and make a mess on the +dressing-table. Or a wind blew down upon the bed, causing regrets for +the eider-down imprudently discarded overnight when we were full of +the warmth of the drawing-room fire. Or--wonderful and soul-stirring +experience--snow. + +On that morning of June 6th, 1887, I felt the peculiar snow-cold, +without knowing what it was, when I got out of bed to take in my early +cup of tea. I had finished it, and was enjoying a few peaceful minutes +before going to the bathroom, gazing upon the bare tree-twigs and +their background of leaden sky, when suddenly I perceived the picture +speckled with fine white particles, and understood that it was +snowing. In the twinkling of an eye I was into dressing-gown and +slippers, calling up the house to look at the sight. The governess was +an Englishwoman, who had not seen snow since leaving her Kentish +village, and never expected to see it in Australia. I went to her room +first, colliding with a maid who was rushing thither on the same +errand; then to the nursery, where I found three little night-gowned +figures already at the window, flattening three little noses against +the glass. The children were chattering and shouting with delight. The +fine white particles had become substantial flakes by this time, and +were dusting the roofs and bushes to an extent that promised snowballs +presently; and the two small boys were wild at the prospect of fights +in the street on their way to school. Australian boys of British +parentage take as naturally to snowballing as to plum-pudding; you +would think, to see them at it, that it was their regular winter +amusement. The bath tap flowed unheeded, until the water overflowed on +to the floor; the fowls invaded the sacred precincts of a +beautifully-kept kitchen, and walked about there unmolested; the cat +got on the table and drank the milk. It was washing-day, but no one +thought of that. The snowstorm was the one absorbing interest to +everybody, except the father of the family, who likes his bed and is +not in the habit of exciting himself. + +When the postman came it had been snowing--good solid snow--for more +than an hour, and as he tramped up the twelve white steps to the front +door his feet sank an inch and a half into the soft carpet that +covered them. Shrubs and trees, creepers and bushes were thick with +snow. Masses of the delicate foliage of the marguerite daisy and some +young pepper trees sent us into raptures with their beauty, for there +was no wind to shake them. So did some old fences smothered in green +creepers, the long sprays and trails of which were as neatly covered +as with hoar-frost. Each arching blade of pampas-grass bore heaped-up +ridges of snow, and the feathery heads looked as if they had been +dipped into cake-icing, as if nothing that was not sticky could have +adhered so thickly to such unsubstantial things. Every laurel leaf +held a sausage-roll of snow. The corrugated iron roofs were dazzlingly +white and smooth--two or three inches of snow in every groove. The +back-yard and orchard were a white plain, the latter diversified with +weeds and suckers that never looked so beautiful before, the naked +fruit-trees being loaded with the white powder on every branch and +twig. Beyond the outer fence on one side there was a mass of furze +bushes, covering a piece of waste land; all this was white, too, +stretching away to the grey sky. + +It was amusing to see the consternation of the fowls when they were +let out. They had never seen snow before, and did not know what to +make of it. They tried to walk through it, and they tried to eat it; +they flew from point to point and back again, craning their necks from +side to side, in search of the earth that had disappeared. They took +refuge in the kitchen under dressers and tables, and, when driven +thence, under the fowl-house walls, where they stood all day, each on +a single leg, with feathers puffed up, the picture of patient misery. +The cat had left her kittens in an outhouse before the snow began, and +afterwards proposed to return to them. She daintily sounded the snow +with her fore-paw, mewed piteously, and in the end went back to the +kitchen and left the kittens to their fate. But she was, for a dumb +animal, a singularly bad mother. The first time she had kittens she +overlaid and suffocated them, and the second batch she carried from a +warm bed in the middle of the night, and in a tempest of rain, while +they were yet blind and helpless, and deposited them beside an +overflowing water-tank, so that when they were found they were so +drowned and chilled that it took a whole day's nursing to bring them +round. + +This was the state of things at half-past eight. It snowed, without +stopping for a minute, until twelve, when the drift was six inches in +some places, and in others a foot. All the heads of pampas-grass were +broken off, borne down with the weight; and stout myrtle and box +bushes, which had taken the snow solidly, were trailing to the ground +with their stems splitting. We had one tree-fern that rose from the +centre of a rockery, and spread itself over it like a handsome +umbrella. It stood in front of the dining-room windows, and was an +object of constant interest to the family, which always knew when it +started a new frond and how it was getting on generally. At twelve +o'clock ferntree and rockery were one smooth white mound--the snow +covered the whole thing completely; not so much as a green tip the +size of a pin's head stuck out anywhere. Even the native gums had +managed to catch and accumulate the soft flakes, so that they looked +as if full of white blossoms; wattles were bent and loaded like the +pepper-trees, while the great pines would not have disgraced a +Canadian winter forest. Such a sight had not been seen in that town +since it was planted in the mountains in the old gold days. We +neglected all our work to gaze upon it. And then a little wind began +to blow through the white stillness, and there were signs that the +snow was going to turn to rain. Huge masses fell from roof eaves and +boughs, falling with a soft but heavy thud upon the garden beds and +paths, which had been so smooth and spotless. "Pure as untrodden +snow"--that is a good phrase. How dazzlingly pure it is! I know it is +silly to say these things to an English reader, but let him be an +exile for seventeen years, as I had been, and see how a snow-storm +will strike him then. It brought to my home-sick heart memories of the +old days of youth, before one realised that there was such a place as +Australia in the world; visions of flat fen marshes, all black, white, +and grey, like a photograph--of frozen meres fringed with pollard +willows, and dry reed-beds rattling in the wind--of old snowballings, +old skatings, old walks with old sweethearts on the ringing roads, old +talks by the winter firesides ... things unspeakable. + +By half-past twelve the rain had come, the snow was going. It was +already slushy about the doors, semi-transparent under eaves and +branches. More and bigger lumps of it slid and fell, revealing the +broken limbs of the trees that had seemed so strong, but were not +strong enough for the weight they had had to bear. The boys had come +home with rosy faces and exulting mien, their collars limp as rags, +their boots and stockings saturated, their coats plastered with +melting snow. They had had as good a snowballing as England could have +given them--one they will not forget as long as they live. + +But the common winter day up there was, in fine weather, a thing +beyond words. The nipping and eager temperature, the iced pools and +frosted grass in the shadows, the dazzling sun in the open, the +diamond glitter and transparency of the air through which one viewed +the sapphire-blue ranges miles away, the ringing granite roads, that +knew neither mud nor dust, the exhilaration, the invigoration, the +pure joy of life.... + +And I left this sweet place hard-heartedly, without a pang. So did G. +His dignity of Rural Dean was laid aside with no more regret than I +felt for the old frocks that I gave away because they were not worth +packing. We were Bush folks no more. He was going to be "town clergy," +and no unimportant member of that much-envied band; and I was going to +live with books and other stirring things--the "larger life," which +somehow never proves quite deserving of its name. And we were going +nearer to England than we had yet been. The day after I knew "all +satisfactorily settled," I began sorting, clearing up, dismantling--a +job I love only a few degrees less than the rebuilding of a new home +out of chaos. "The nuisance of moving!" is a lamentation one hears +often from those who have to do it; nobody ever heard it from me. It +puzzles me how any housewife, interested in having her things nice, +can fail to enjoy such an opportunity for putting new ideas in +practice. I have thoroughly enjoyed it eight times, and should like +nothing better than to move again to-morrow, provided it were to the +right place--the place that I am so long getting to that I almost +despair of seeing it again. + +We were moving now too far to take all the furniture with us; in bulk +it was not valuable enough to be worth the heavy railway charges. So I +packed the special treasures and all else that I could, and, leaving +G. to struggle with the sale and the final farewells, preceded him to +Melbourne, that I might lay the foundations of the new home before he +came to it. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +THE EIGHTH HOME + + +The eighth home was quite an imposing house--for us--too much so for +my taste and the resources of the moment, insomuch that I had to leave +the furnishing of the drawing-room to a future day; but what an +interesting time I had, with my paper-hangers and people! In a few +days I had the walls--raw plaster and grubby at that--decorated and +dry, and the floor-staining done, and the elementary necessaries of +family life collected; so that when I, and the little daughter who had +been with me, met our male belongings at Spencer Street Station on the +30th of October, we went home together for good and all. G. took over +his parish on the 1st of November, and we were then settled down, +although the delights of "fixing up" went on for weeks--I may say for +years--if it has not continued even to this day. A week or two after +the induction ceremonies the parish made a splendid evening party for +us in the largest public room of the town. A great horse-shoe of +flowers with "WELCOME" on it--the iron frame is still preserved in the +gas cupboard--was presented with charming compliments: members of +Parliament and mayors and other distinguished persons flattered us in +cordial speeches from the platform; professional singers--Ada +Crossley amongst them--rendered a choice programme. It was a proud +occasion, a happy beginning of the new life--the first rush of the +champagne out of the freshly-opened bottle--sweet to remember, but sad +also, because, like all such sanguine moments, it both gave and asked +too much. + +And now here I was living by the sea at last--the desire of my heart +from childhood. There is a family tradition that when, as a mere +infant on its mother's lap, I saw the sea for the first time--at +Hunstanton it was--I was so overcome with sentimental emotion that I +burst into tears. I can quite believe it. I do not remember ever to +have seen it, after absence, without feeling more or less that way, +whether I expressed the feeling or not. "Hunst'on" in those times was +only the old village of the L'Estranges; where the watering-place +proper was afterwards established there stood but a lonely inn on the +cliff--the New Inn, it was called, though it looked far from +new--where brides and bridegrooms went to get out of the world. We +used to have lodgings at the Coastguards' (parents and children, nurse +and governess, distributed amongst them at sleeping-time, with a +common rendezvous for meals), or at "Willoughby's," within a cobbled +courtyard with gates that shut at night, or at the Post Office, which +sold the wooden spades and pails that were always our first purchase, +or--when we could get it--a whole house of our own, bespoken for the +season from the year before. The same families, more or less, occupied +the limited accommodation of the place summer after summer, and it was +necessary to be beforehand to secure a footing. There was one year +when we were absolutely crowded out--a black year indeed! I see myself +now, face downwards in the orchard grass, broken-hearted by the +calamity. In those days we made the journey from Lynn on a stage +coach--the last one left in England, I should imagine--and the red +mass of Rising Castle was the memorably romantic feature of that +drive, next to the first opening to view at the end of it of the +ever-wonderful and mystic sea. We used to arrive late in the afternoon +and first open one of the enormous hampers and feed like a pack of +cormorants: then we little girls were fitted out in our +sea-clothes--all made on purpose, from the cotton hoods to the +raw-leather shoes--and the boys put on their fishermen's guernseys, +and down we went to revel in sand and rocks and sea-water until the +latest possible bed-time. Old Sam Dunn, the only waterman and one of +my dearest early friends, would already have been up to our lodgings +to welcome us, to take over the boys as partners for the summer in his +boat and enterprises, and to bring his votive offering of cornelian +stones and bits of jet and things to his "little missy." What days! +What days! When my own children were small I went to no end of trouble +and expense to give them the bliss that had made life so heavenly to +me at their age. I took them to the seaside; I bought them wooden +spades and pails; I would have got them a donkey (like Callaby's) if +there had been such a thing procurable. In vain. It was like trying to +teach them to understand Christmas. The sea is not in the blood of +Australian children as it was in ours. + +During all my inland life at home and twenty-three years in the +Australian bush, however happy I may have been, there was always that +one thing wanting--the near neighbourhood, the salt breath of the sea. +I used, when in the Western District, to spend hours sitting amongst +she-oak trees in a wind, because, with the eyes shut, one could +believe that there one listened to its very voice. Twice, when ill in +bed, I found the craving overmastering. "I know that, if I could get +to the sea, I should get well," I cried at a time when I was unable to +take myself thither and G. said he was too busy to take me. "Not for +one day?" I implored. "What's the use of wearing yourself out with +those two long journeys, and spending five or six pounds, for one +day?" he asked. It did seem unreasonable, but I begged and bribed him +to give me my wish. We left B---- one afternoon, reaching Melbourne +late at night; next morning took boat for Sorrento and the open +Pacific; saturated ourselves with sea-essences until night again, and +returned home next day. The result was so miraculous that, under the +same circumstances, we repeated the experiment three months later: +only then we took four days instead of one. I do now go back to the +hills for strength, as I said in the last chapter, but quite as often +exchange the sea for more sea. + +For where I live I am still forty or fifty miles from the shore +whereon the ocean rollers break. To be sure I can hear the sound of +waves on our Back Beach--one may occasionally be knocked over by them +in the Baths--but, looking across the water that runs sheer to the +sky, I am conscious of the engirdling land that I cannot see; it is +not the great deep that the great storms play with. Even upon this the +house turns its back; my windows command only Hobson's Bay--just a +pond with city round it--the mouth of the river piercing the ring to +my left, the mouth of escape to the sea and the world on my right, +round the breakwater pier and sea-wall that the convicts built. Well, +I am satisfied with that. I have a moving panorama before my eyes that +they never tire of dwelling on. I had amongst my wedding presents a +pair of good field-glasses that lay stowed away and forgotten in +drawer or cupboard until I came here; now they hang by my writing +window, and the case is worn out with the daily handling they get. +Every ship that comes in view passes me by, the multifarious craft +going to or from the river wharves, the great liners that tie up at +Port Melbourne opposite--these last the objects that fascinate me +most. A kind superintendent of the P. and O. Melbourne office sent me, +when I first arrived, a packet containing a separate letter of +introduction to every purser of every ship of theirs visiting the +port, instructing each gentleman to give me "all possible facilities" +to "fully inspect" his vessel. It was my favourite recreation for a +long time to rummage through these floating hotels, and pretend to +myself that I was a potential traveller in them; and then I came home +to watch them steam away without me, as I have watched them week by +week ever since. It is a melancholy pleasure that never palls. But I +have four of those letters to P. and O. pursers unexpended still. + +Close about me lie piers, ships, boat-slips, collections of anchors, +buoys, boilers, the old bones of dead vessels once so bravely +alive--more alive, as I think, than anything else that hand of man has +made; everything that meets the eye suggests the sea in some form. +"The fishing village" is a newspaper term for the place, and when I +was coming to live in it every other letter that I received condoled +with me on my being obliged to do so. It is not a village; it is not +more fishy than other towns along the shore; and I have never pitied +myself for belonging to it. The fact that it is not a watering-place, +with an esplanade and summer boarders, pleases me. It could easily +have rivalled the "residential suburbs" across the way, which are +cooled by the sea-breezes on one side only and not on three; but far +be it from me to put such an idea into its head. Let it jog along in +its unfashionable, unenterprising, unbusiness-like way while I am of +it, and begin its hustling--as it will do sooner or later, if the +powers that be allow our limbs to move again--when I am gone. It is a +treat to find something that does not know how to advertise itself, +nor want to know. + +In this humdrum place, that is so cool and quiet, and to me so +congenial, there is but one interesting walk. That is to say, but one +that I consider worth giving an afternoon to. G. says he gets tired of +it; I do not; and I am sure that Bob, the fox terrier, spends the week +looking forward to it. The three of us ramble off together on +Saturdays after lunch, weather and other circumstances permitting, and +our faces turn the one way automatically. + +We go "along the front"--_i.e._, the one-sided street that fronts +Hobson's Bay--until the little marine stores and cook-shops and +sailors' pubs lose themselves in a wilderness of docks and railway +yards and buildings, lonely and grass-grown since the river and the +port opposite took so much of our shipping from us, though there was a +partial return to some of the activities of former days while the war +was going on. Seldom a Saturday then that we did not find ourselves +blocked by rows of trucks shunting back and forth across our short +cuts, carrying hay or horses to the steamers whose clacking windlasses +we heard from the neighbouring piers. + +First we come to the yard within which lies the Graving Dock--once so +wonderful, now so inadequate, but seldom empty and always interesting, +no matter how insignificant the vessel on the chocks. Those +weather-worn tramps that fight the unseen Powers at a disadvantage in +everything, except courage and seamanship, are the ones I like to look +at best. Sometimes we are asked on board, and a rough old salt, hero +of untold brave deeds, shows us round and gives us tea, and feels +himself honoured by the visit of persons not worthy to brush his +shoes. These casual entertainments are my delight. Sometimes the +captain's wife is _cicerone_ and hostess. There was a whole family in +one case, including a melancholy and discontented girl, who had a +piano to practise on, and whose sad lot I was not too sea-crazy to +understand. I sent her a bundle of old novels to vary the monotony, +which was perhaps a cruel kindness. + +Now and then tragedy comes upon the scene. A wreck is dragged in to be +operated on. Some poor ship that has had a fire at sea, or her nose +smashed or her side ripped open in a collision, or who has drifted for +weeks with her propeller gone, lies naked before us with her wounds +exposed; and then I stand and gaze and imagine things until G. gets +cross because I cannot drag myself away. When the _Ormuz_ had that +accident in the Rip she so tightly filled the dock that her skeleton +bow was almost within my touch. No more do I wonder at what ships can +go through, having seen how that giant frame was put together. I went +down to the bottom of the dock and held up the great hull in the palms +of my hands. It was a strange sensation. + +From the dock we pass by devious ways from yard to yard and pier to +pier, descending and climbing, turning narrow corners, poking +walking-stick or umbrella into the tufts of coarse grass and +scrap-heaps of rusted iron or sea-rotted timber where Bob has his +exciting hunts for the rats he smells but never catches. "No +admittance except on business" is a legend with no meaning for us. If +it rains, or the sun is over-hot, we retire to a dark and spacious +shed where rows of gas buoys await their turn to shine beneficent in +the stormy nights. Impressive creatures they are when viewed so near. +Now and again we are shown torpedoes and compressed-air engines and +such things, but as a rule we are not sight-seeing in a business way +and do not desire company. + +So we drift to the outermost pier of all--the Breakwater, half of +which is stone rampart between Hobson's Bay and Port Phillip Bay, +which stands to us for open sea. We sit as long as Bob's patience +holds out on the bulkhead at the extreme end, and watch the ships go +past us--so near sometimes that we could toss a biscuit on to a deck. +They are intercolonial steamers that have started from a Melbourne +wharf or are bound thither; the great liners, of which few are visible +at this end of the week, take a more distant track. In the yachting +season the blue water is sprinkled with white sails; we follow the +manoeuvres of the boats we know, and wait to see the winner come home, +if she is not too long about it. Several times I have been aboard one +of those racing cutters in a "sailing wind," and--I refrain from +rhapsodising on the subject. + +If the afternoon is still young we stroll on around the point, along +that sea-wall which was built by convict labour--significant words, +recalling days we do not care to think of. The wall is broken down in +places, and stays so; this is the "old part" as the old times left +it--some day to be repaired and used, but gently going to pieces in +the meantime. All around us here we feel the spirit of those old +times, so stern and sad. Close by is the spot where Commandant Price +was murdered. It was before my time, but I have heard the tale of his +life and death from friends and relatives, co-officials and +eye-witnesses, authorities whom the author of _His Natural Life_ never +had opportunity to consult. They say--of course I can only take their +word--that he was a brave and just, if undoubtedly hard, man, and that +Frere in _His Natural Life_, supposed to be a portrait of him, is a +cruel caricature. One of his official colleagues, who was also one of +the kindest and most high-minded of men, solemnly assured me that what +he did was "what he had to do" and represented to him his duty. + +And just here, until a short time ago, lay the strangest little +graveyard that I ever knew. Its enclosing walls had fallen into +rubbish-heaps amongst the grass, which looked too thick and rank to +safely walk in except when summer heats had dried it up; then we would +prowl gingerly amid the forgotten graves--forty years old and +upwards--and read the touching legends on the dilapidated headstones, +which showed, amongst other things, that John Price was not the only +one done to death "in the execution of his duty." Here lay a whole +little world of people as utterly of the past as if they had lived +centuries ago. Periodically someone protested in the local papers +against the disgraceful condition of this lone bit of land, and at +last the town decided to transfer its contents to the present +cemetery. In a corner of that pretty garden they dug one big grave to +accommodate the remains of what they calculated would be between two +and three hundred bodies. The number found was nearly a thousand. I +saw them stacked in little boxes, like a grocer's stock of tea or +candles, half in the new grave, half piled on the brink. Several +pathetic secrets that Mother Earth might well have kept to herself +were dragged to light, and I am sure it must have been impossible to +avoid mixing the fragments up. The new grave now looks very neat, +slabbed all over; and the old burial-ground is ready to build on +whenever good times arrive. But when we walk past the spot we miss +something. We feel that we liked it best as it was. + +Usually we do not go beyond this point. We scramble out to the +furthest tenable boulder, and sit with our faces to the water, and +watch the practice of the big gun of the fort close by, firing at a +buoyed flag; and tease crabs, and lay plans for going Home some day, +until it is time to return. But we can go on along the shore until we +all but complete the circuit of the town, which is really a good walk +for cold weather. + +The sea makes in a sense the foreground of any picture I can draw of +my eight to nine years of Melbourne life, but there was more than the +sea to render the change to Melbourne instantly beneficial to us. That +was a luxury, an adornment, of our new life; a solid advantage to me +personally, since its air and influence improved my health, but not +otherwise to be so designated. The first substantial profit that we +reaped was in our nearness to the best schools. + +It is for his children that the poor Bush parson feels his isolation, +more than for himself. In Victoria he is never placed where he cannot +give them an education of a kind--at the private schools of his +township or the State School in the last resort--but the cost of the +better one that he must desire for them, to fit them for professions +and a good place in the world, is mostly beyond his means. The custom +of the great schools is to charge half fees to clergymen--I do not +know why, any more than I can see the justice of the doctors charging +them no fees at all, as the majority of them will not, unless you +force them to it--but even upon those easy terms I know from +experience that you cannot keep a son at a public school, giving him +all the advantages of it, for much under Ł100 a year. Lay mothers have +told me that in their case Ł150 was not too much to set aside for the +purpose to cover all expenses. The Public School means possible +scholarships, not only for the school years but for the University +afterwards; and it is hard to have a bright boy and see him blocked at +the outset from this shining path along which alone he can directly +attain distinction. I know one poor country clergyman who, with his +wife and daughters, lived servantless and on next to nothing to give +the only son his chance. Half their little income must have gone to +pay for it, and the boy was still a poor boy at school, in dress, +pursuits, pocket-money, friends, at a disadvantage amongst his +fellows. It is pleasant to record that he proved superior to these +petty circumstances and worthy of the sacrifices that were made for +him. But he is only a bank clerk now, because, not having a home near +the University, it was impossible for him to go there. Another +clergyman's son of my acquaintance, who had this convenient base, did +his course as an "out-patient," while earning his fees at other work. +He is now a "don" himself. + +So, with sons of our own, we soon had occasion to congratulate +ourselves--in the case of one, at anyrate. The boy who had been +pursuing a costly education more than two hundred miles from home was +now within easy reach of it; I could visit him by water for +half-a-crown. And of course I did so the very first thing, fetching +him back with me to make the house-warming complete. It was then +represented to him that the greater part of the expenses incurred on +his behalf might be saved by the simple expedient of transferring +himself from the "Geelong Grammar" to the sister, if rival, "Melbourne +Grammar," which he could attend as a day boy. His answer was--for he +had been over four years at Geelong, and his boat had been Head of the +River most of the time, and it was his school--"I would sooner kill +myself." We quite understood. It was perceived that in his case +economy might be practised at too great a cost, and we refrained from +further argument. The younger brother jumped at the privilege thus +scorned, and turned it to such account that in the following month we +were relieved of all pecuniary liability in respect of his education +for three years to come. In the result there were certain little +embarrassments which took time to wear off. States of tension occurred +in the vacations, and an occasional approach to civil war, all on +account of the merits and demerits of the respective corporations to +which they belonged, and I narrowly escaped witnessing a Public +School's Boat Race in which I must inevitably have seen a son +defeated. I used to wear at these functions, at one time, a +breast-knot of light-blue and dark-blue ribbons, mixed in exactly +equal proportions. + +I think the Boat Races and Speech Days have furnished the keenest +joys of my Melbourne life. At B---- there was racking suspense before +the postmaster's son came tumbling down the garden steps to the +dining-room window, waving the telegram and shouting--in defiance of +the regulations--"He's won!" And now, without the wicked waste of +money that I had once been guilty of to obtain the privilege, I could +follow the race on the umpire's boat, and drop proud hints to other +mothers that it was my son who--etc. As for the Speech Days, modesty +forbids me to say more than that I would not have missed them for the +world. But apart from these strictly personal enjoyments, many and +many, long unknown, now came to me. + +"Mullens," to start with--everyone who knows Melbourne at all knows +that delightful haunt of the book-lover--and all the new books I could +want, and more; and never the lack of a new magazine to entice me to +bed early. Any night of the week--the day's work done, even to the +last toilet, and a reading-lamp shining softly down upon the page +before me--I can realise my idea of luxury. Old books too--the +Literatures of the Past and of the World (of which I had scarcely +heard in youth before I was cut off from access to them)--these I +could batten on, and at no cost at all. The great Free Library--the +greatest, to my mind, of all Melbourne's civic institutions--was but +an hour's distance from me. It is rather the resort of the street +loafer, looking for a place to rest and doze in, than of the +student--other than press hacks and such like, who go there with the +business note-book and pencil; one never sees--at least, I have never +seen--any of those gentlefolk who throng Mullens's daily; it seems to +lie off the track somehow. I, like the rest, forget to go often when +I might go, but when I do think of it I am amazed at my neglect. A +lending library is included in the many privileges conferred upon +those who pay nothing, and there come from it into the family circle +weighty as well as up-to-date works not otherwise in library +circulation, and beyond the resources of the family purse and the +family bookshelves. For one reason why we do not buy books much more +largely than we do, is the want of settled homes for them. To a people +so wandering and restless, books in quantities become physically +burdensome; they take up too much room in a temporary house, and are +too costly as travelling furniture. By the way, I have not found that +rich people, with whom these considerations need not count, care to +accumulate them. + +Gathered under the same roof as this treasure of books are fine, +although relatively less fine, collections of objects representing the +arts of the world; and the picture galleries, with their medley of +good and bad, can charm a loafing hour at any time. Pictures, however, +unlike books, are amongst the things that are still too scarce. In +girlhood I used to haunt their homes in London, when periodically +visiting a spinster aunt who allowed me no more frivolous +entertainment; and it is the memory of those old feasts that keeps me +dissatisfied with the crumbs that have been cast up here. But the +crumbs are adequate to the general demand for them. Art, like Letters, +is still an exotic in the land. In the furnishing of ninety-nine out +of every hundred of the fine mansions that surround the capital, +pictures--real pictures--have, I have been told by those who know, +been the last thing thought of. Yet I have seen two private +collections--one loaned to an exhibition and one in the house it +belonged to--which would be hard to match for beauty and choiceness. +And there may be more. + +But I believe there are already guide-books to the city of Melbourne, +with all its British institutions common to every British city of any +consequence precisely catalogued. And I have lived too retired a life +as a Melbourne citizen to be qualified to enter into competition with +them. I do not know the faces of the City fathers when I see them, and +am unacquainted with much else that is common knowledge to any man in +the street. On the other hand I have strayed into some of the by-ways, +the underground tunnels, of our local civilisation, where the local +historian would feel off his beat. + +For some years, while in town on business or holiday from the country +(and parish), I was much with a dear friend who, while living far +above it in what we call the best society, shared my passion for +unconventional excursions into what answers here to Gissing's +Nether-World. We did not go "slumming" or anything of that sort--we +would have been the last to commit such impertinences--but we wanted +to see deeper into the workings of the mysterious problems of social +life which so much and equally concerned us. In memory of her and +those days of lofty thought and helpful companionship I keep on a +shelf apart the books she gave me--Mill, Morley, Thoreau, and the +like--that we read together under the trees of her beautiful garden or +by a secluded fireside, and which inspired us to the search for that +ideal truth which we could not admit was inaccessible. Our husbands +were both indulgent to our aberrations from the beaten path. In G.'s +case, I must confess, I traded a little upon the fact that what the +eye does not see the heart does not grieve for; I thought it just as +well that a parson--and one so far away--should not know everything; I +took the view that I was at large for the time being, and to that he +never made objection. Of course, I respected the altered circumstances +when we came to live in town together, and have known nothing of alien +"persuasions" and their goings on of a Sunday since. + +But it was just these irregular operations in the moral world that we +desired to investigate, my friend and I: our outlook over it was not +bounded by the walls of the Church of England or of our class. Drawn +as we felt ourselves to be towards our fellow-strugglers after light +and knowledge, we wanted to know what they were doing in furtherance +of the common aim. The phenomena of spiritual life, in whatever form, +attracted us; the more curious and unconvincing to us personally, the +more earnestly to be searched into and understood, if possible. The +Salvation Army was a case in point. Why was it such a power in the +land? Eclectic as we were, we could find but one theory to account for +it--which I still think a good one, _i.e._, that men and women share +equally and intimately in the whole work from top to bottom--but this +did not cover all the ground. It did not adequately explain the number +and fervour of its non-official adherents, and their long continuance +in faith. According to appearances, it is all force and artificial +emotionalism, the "unhealthy excitement" against which I have heard so +many good clergymen earnestly warn their flocks; yet time falsifies +the prediction I remember they made from the pulpit at least eighteen +years ago, that it was a passing craze, a grotesque epidemic, that +would quickly die. + +My friend and I--our minds burdened with, our thoughts and +conversation full of, the (to us) injustices of human arrangements, +and our responsibilities towards the (to us) enslaved and +wronged--wondered how much real amelioration of the lot of the more +miserable was wrought by this particular agency. We knew that, as we +sat, like Buddha in his palace, within our social shelters, we could +know little about it; we resolved to go outside and see. It was Sunday +morning, and we said we would go to a Salvation Army meeting, at the +Head-Quarter Barracks, that night. My friend's husband, who would have +liked to keep her (she was so precious) in a glass case, yet could not +bear to balk her wish if it was anywhere within the bounds of reason, +asked leave to take us into the city and to the door of the +tabernacle, and to wait for us until we came out; but we agreed that +that would spoil it all. For what we wanted to feel was that we were +one with our poorer fellow-wayfarers on this pilgrimage of life, afoot +and equal, not carrying any of our unfair privileges into their +rougher line of march. Her correct English maid, who must have had her +thoughts, though she did not express them, produced a plain waterproof +and a gossamer veil, in which my companion could hide her native +elegance from a curiosity that we did not wish to court--I easily made +myself inconspicuous--and we set forth, escorted only as far as the +railway station of our exclusive suburb. + +When we got into the Sunday-night city streets we were a happy pair. +Manners in Australia do not deteriorate as the social scale descends; +we were jostled on the crowded pavements, but not rudely; in fact, the +sensation was grateful to us. We were literally in touch with our +kind, free of artificial restrictions, and "seeing life" as we had +desired to see it. The crowds were later, however; going in we were +before them, thinking it wise to be early since we had to find our +way. The large building was filling fast when we arrived, but we +secured what we thought safe seats--near the door, and with a pillar +or something buttressing our backs--and from this point studied the +scene and the proceedings with rapt attention. I should think no +Salvation Army meeting ever included two persons at once so devout and +so hopelessly impervious. But, though impervious, we were deeply +impressed. The only thing that offended us--unless I except a hectic +and hysterical preaching girl, whose health we saw being destroyed +before our eyes--was the conduct of a group of lads who had evidently +come for the fun of the thing. They sat just within the door, and +ought to have been put outside it; yet their ill manners were +compensated for by the patient courtesy of the officer who from time +to time came to expostulate with them. For myself, I could willingly +have boxed their ears. I remembered this incident when afterwards I +had a Salvation Army servant and it was reported to me that my own +mischievous boys had gone to the little conventicle of her sect to +hear her preach. She was a quiet-mannered, sedate sort of person, and +never gave us Salvation Army in the house, except in the form of a +modest brooch; but on Saturday evenings--the Australian servants' free +time--she stole off in her hallelujah bonnet, and, I was told, carried +a torch or a banner in the procession that patrolled the town, and +sang and prayed with the best of them. We never minded these little +things, holding the view that a good servant was a good servant, and +that her religion was her own business. One of the best we ever had +was a Roman Catholic of the strictest type. I believe that girl never +omitted an observance required of such an one; yet she never allowed +us to be inconvenienced on that account. She would do her washing, or +whatever it was, in the middle of the night to go to a morning +service; on Sundays she would come out from her devotions at her +church, which was not a stone's throw from ours, to put on the +potatoes, and trot back again. Between our kitchen and that of the +Presbytery the most neighbourly relations existed during her reign. +They borrowed of each other without any false pride, and many a time, +at my secret instigation, B. went over to assist when the priest was +having company, sometimes carrying extra silver and such like from my +store. I was always desperately afraid of his hearing of these +liberties that a black heretic was taking with him--and he a dean, if +you please; mentally putting myself in his place, I knew how I should +feel, and I was always exhorting B., who was garrulous, to guard +against this risk.--One Christmas I heard that he was to have a party +of priests to dinner, and that his cook was quite incapable of rising +to such an occasion. "I'd like to send over one of our puddings," said +I, "only that I'd be so afraid he might ask who made it"--for our +puddings, I may modestly state, were good. B. jumped at the tentative +offer, and the pudding, with a few etceteras from the same source, +duly graced the dean's table. Our Christmas feast took place in the +middle of the day, his in the evening, so she could attend to both. +When she returned at night from the second function she was radiant. +The table, she said, was something beautiful, and they ate up all the +pudding, and praised it to the skies. "I do hope to goodness you never +breathed a word," said I, "and that that cook will keep the secret." +Alas! it transpired that B. herself had been unable to keep it. "But," +said she, "you needn't worry yourself at all, for he was quite pleased +about it, and says he is coming himself to thank you for your +kindness." + +That was a good old man, and the most liberal-minded ecclesiastic of +his faith that I ever came across. B. being so strict a daughter of +her Church, and living in a place where its influence was strong--for +the matter of that, it is strong everywhere in Australia--she used to +have qualms of conscience now and again, after the nuns had been +talking to her, as to the lawfulness of dwelling under a Protestant +roof. She went to the dean for advice, and he gave it promptly. "Don't +you be a little fool"--his very words, she told me. "You get more +Catholic privileges where you are than you'd get in many a Catholic +house. You stay where you are well off." Under these circumstances she +was delighted to stay. But some time afterwards, when under more rigid +discipline, she was inveigled from us--the only one of our good +servants who went, even to that extent from choice, except to be +married. But she still maintains intimate relations with the family, +and brings each little Pat and Biddy to show us as soon as it is old +enough to take the air. + +But to return to the Salvation Army. Personally, as I have said, we +were cold to its appeals, but seldom had our hearts been so warmed by +the reflected feeling around us. It was perfectly apparent to us that +we were in contact with things as sincere and real as they could be. +Even the hectic girl preacher, who almost frothed at the mouth, was in +earnest, whatever the old hands amongst her colleagues, who sat about +her and watched her, might have been. The music--their best--with its +swing and precision, was splendid, incalculably effective as a +stimulant; I could have thrilled to that if I had not heard so much of +the excruciating performances of the humbler rank and file. But it was +the congregation which so impressed us. Going to church all my +life--much against the grain sometimes, I must confess--I had never +seen anything like it; so many men in proportion to women, such +intensity of religious feeling as distinct from superficial ardour and +rant. The service was very long, and we grew anxious as the hours +passed, knowing how our husband and host would worry about us if we +missed the train he had fixed on for our return, and we had carefully +left our watches at home. So I leaned towards my next neighbour on the +left, a respectable and very quiet and silent young working-man--just +as I would have done in any other church--and whispered to him, "Would +you kindly tell me the time?" As soon as the words were out of my +mouth I was smitten with compunction, and felt more ashamed of myself +than I had ever done in my life. Wild prayers were going on, and the +young man was on his knees, and his uplifted face wore a stern +solemnity that showed him miles and miles above all such +considerations as the time of day. At first he took no notice, as if +he had not heard me; then he slowly climbed down and down from his +heights and looked at me with a blank, dazed stare; and his eyes were +full of tears. I shall never forget him, and all that he taught me in +that moment. We went home thoughtful, humbled in our intellectual +conceit, deeply touched and moved; certainly all the better for our +excursion into this by-path of national life, although we never felt +drawn to go into it again. + +On another Sunday evening we attended some sort of Free Thought +service in one of the theatres. Here the "minister," if not a +charlatan, was something of a fraud--to us, at anyrate, who had made a +deeper study of the questions dealt with than he had. But in this case +again the congregation, which filled the building, was the instructive +and surprising feature. Not only perfectly respectable and orderly, +but grave and attentive, and the majority well-dressed middle-class +people, husbands and wives together, dropping into their seats with +the air of habitual attendants. The proverbial pin might have been +heard while the pseudo-teacher poured forth words and phrases that had +no intelligible meaning in them; every eye was fixed on him, every ear +listening. We were much exercised in mind over the results of this +experiment. The size, seriousness, and social quality of the +congregation were our chief concern. Evidently seekers after light and +knowledge, like the rest of us--no mere heathen idlers wilfully or +carelessly breaking the Sabbath day. "And," sighed we, "getting only +this rubbish for their pains!" + +Then there was a place called, I think, the Progressive Lyceum--a +small body this, but, once in it, you found it a little world to +itself. I went there one Sunday, and again felt how little the +classified majority of us knew what the mixed minority was about. I +was with two other inquiring friends this time, and we were invited to +stay to a sort of little conference that was to conclude the morning +exercises. Well, before we knew it, we were joining in the +discussion--carried on without a trace of theological rancour--with +half-a-dozen or so of the leading members sitting in a group in a +corner of the otherwise emptied room, all as friendly as could be. +Other little worlds within worlds, colonies within the colony, I have +wandered into from time to time, never without gaining fresh +conviction of the interestingness of my fellow-creatures and of their +inherent goodness--more trust in and respect for that poor human +nature which, fumbling along its confused and crooked paths, yet ever +seems to be aiming at the true goal. More than that--as one can see by +taking the general bearings at intervals--it is getting there by +degrees. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +CONCLUSION + + +The thirty years covered by this chronicle came to an end with the +nineteenth century and the history of these colonies as such. + +On the last day of 1900 I sat at my writing window to watch the drop +of the time-ball that regulates all the Government clocks--the clocks +which the morning papers had warned us to set our time-pieces by at 1 +P.M., so as not to be a second out, if we could help it, when the +midnight hour should strike. I cannot describe the state of tension we +were in, the sense of fateful happenings that possessed us that day. +The New Year and the New Century were coming to all peoples, but we +could not think of them save as satellites of our New Commonwealth, +arranged for the purpose of fitly inaugurating the New Nation. +Australia believed herself on the threshold of the Golden Age. I +myself openly boasted of my happiness--reviewing my peaceful family +life, my little home circle, unbroken since 1876--when we began +wishing happy new years to one another. + +The same scene lies before me now. Hobson's Bay in the +foreground--never professing to be picturesque, but to me as full of +variety and charm as a good, homely human face--and the long line of +city dividing it from the sky. In the sunset of a fine day--sunset +taking place behind me--that thread of crowded life is glowing +beautifully, isolated buildings, as they catch the direct gleam, +standing out as distinctly as if they were not leagues away. And after +dark it will shine a thick-set band of lights many miles in length. +And then, later, a clear moon will flood the whole. All as it was +twenty months and more ago, when our hearts were so confident and our +hopes so high. + +But Fate has dealt with our hearts and hopes in the usual way. The +closing of this book synchronises with the ending of one of those +lives integrally a part of mine--that of my eldest son, in the prime +of his fine young manhood--which for me has altered the whole face of +the world and of the future, but yesterday so smiling for us both. I +took no account of the Ambushed Enemy when I said on that New Year's +night that I was happy. + +And as for the country that went mad with joy on the same occasion, +how does it feel now? Where is the enthusiasm for Federation which +then turned every head? + +Federation, so far as we can see, has put back the Golden Age. The +triumphant shout, "Advance, Australia!" has become a mockery in our +ears. "Australia for the Australians!"--that ignoble aspiration, which +even then meant "Australia for the Australians now in it"--less than +two to the square mile--now means that Australia is not even for them. +No, for the census returns of this state for 1891 gave us 446,195 young +persons of what census people call the marrying age (15 to 35), of whom +the excess of young men over young women was 17,047; and the census for +1901 shows 419,910, and the excess on the other side--16,742 more +young women than young men. Where are those lost young men? And why +have they gone from one of the gardens of the world, as Victoria should +be, with its temperate climate and its consequent potential fertility? +Most of them have gone since the new century came in, and the other +states have to mourn similar losses within the same short space of +time. There have been no gains. Immigration, even of the most desirable +"White Australia" brand, is discouraged in all possible ways, in the +supposed interests of the beneficiaries in possession--reapers of the +sowings of far different men--with their "work" and "wages" which no +longer correspond to the old meanings of those words. While as for our +coloured brothers--including Britain's ally, Japan--they are not +recognised as men at all. They are vermin, to be stamped out like +rabbits. + +One third of Australia lies within the tropic belt, where manual +labour is incompatible with the white man's physique, and where no +industry could afford him, at the price he puts upon himself. What +matter? Let the Queensland sugar fields, and the seven millions sunk +in them, revert to the desert waste they were before. Let the pearling +industry go to foreigners, as it must go. Let the Northern Territory, +an area equal to that of France, Germany, and Austria combined, with +all its known potential wealth, lie waste and empty, while millions +upon millions of our co-inheritors of the earth swarm upon little bits +of land that do not give them room to turn round. What does it care, +this dog in the manger? It will starve itself--it is starving +itself--to keep the world out, to shut off competition with existing +interests, to nip back growth at every point. Oh, that we had a +Washington to lead our young nation in more righteous paths, to nobler +ends! Had "Australia for the World" been the watchword of the +Commonwealth, we might now be making a second great United States such +as only the glorious First could rival. Instead of that a stationary +population of less than four millions, from which the best elements +are being rapidly drained away. + +For these four millions we have fourteen Houses of Parliament, with +over fifty ministers and little under a thousand members. They are +housed magnificently--in this State, at anyrate--regardless of +expense; they have billiard-rooms, and bowling and tennis grounds, and +every club luxury, the "keep" of the Victorian establishment alone +(the parliamentary bill for the year) running to Ł141,549. Each pair +of State Houses can pledge the credit of its section of the country as +it likes (what our public debt amounts to everybody knows); the +Federal Houses can pledge the credit of the whole. And what is there +to control them? "The State servants," says the _Argus_, "already +constitute almost a clear majority of the names on the electors' +rolls." Government "promises soon to become the sole employer of +labour in the community." The octopus of political rule holds the +private citizen--"pursued with regulations and prohibitions in his +uprising and his down-sitting," so that "there will soon be absolutely +no room left" for him--helpless in its grasp. + +And who are they that work this Juggernaut of an engine, that run this +overgrown business of state? To quote again the authority +above-mentioned, not seldom "men who, in private life, would hardly +be trusted to run an apple stall." + +There was a _Times_ correspondent with the royal party that recently +visited us, and he published his impression that "political +corruption" was amongst our little failings that he had noticed. That +was an observant man, worthy of his post. Here nobody had an idea of +such a thing, and the outcry that ensued upon the cabled report of his +report, the indignant protest of injured innocence, was almost +unanimous throughout the land. Every newspaper repudiated the foul +aspersion, and in good faith--because, as a fact, the parliamentary +candidate does not bribe and corrupt within the meaning of the act as +traditionally understood; he does not buy the individual's vote with +coin from his pocket or a pot of beer. But what he does--which +probably never strikes him as political corruption, although +recognised as that by the _Times_ correspondent--is to buy _en bloc_ +the party which gives him his comfortable place and perquisites--his +trade and living, in fact; and that party will be paid in full or know +the reason why. They support each other--both at the expense of the +general community. There is a printed rule of a Political Labour +League which says that "before any person can be accepted as a +candidate for the Federal or State Parliament" he shall "place in the +hands of the executive of the league an agreement that in the event of +his acting contrary to the policy of the combined Labour +Organisation," and of their consequently "passing a vote of +no-confidence in him, he will resign his seat." Furthermore, he is to +"place his resignation (undated) in the hands of the executive, +together with a document authorising the executive to fill in the date +subsequent to the day on which the vote is taken." Parliament would +not be what it is if there were not plenty of men willing to subscribe +to such contracts as these--to sell their votes in the House +beforehand, in order to get there. We all know that they do so sell +them. We see the price paid when such legislation as the Minimum Wage +Act is concocted, that pitiable outrage upon the natural, the moral, +and the economic law which is visibly recoiling upon the heads of +those it was framed to benefit, killing their goose of the golden eggs +as well as ours. + +It was to the Commonwealth Government that we looked for relief and +redress--that was the meaning of our wild jubilation when the union of +the states was consummated. Alas! Could we have foreknown the history +of its first couple of years, there would have been no federation in +our time. Could we be unfederated to-morrow, the _status quo ante_ +would be restored the day after, beyond the shadow of a doubt. For the +Federal politician is but the State politician writ large. His wider +sphere of action means but greater opportunities for the exercise of +those political vices which are so ingrained in him as to have become +his second nature. The first act of the Federal Ministry was one of +sordid personal greed; every following act seems to have been worse. +Federation, so far, has but riveted our chains at home and darkened +our character abroad--and I do not know which we feel most keenly, the +latter, I think. For when six voices spoke for us there was a chance +that some of them would do us justice; when the one voice that speaks +for all betrays and disgraces us, we have to take the loss and odium +silently and seem to acquiesce. + +However, the country itself is still, potentially, as fine a country +as the world contains--a huge manger, with provision for the +sustenance of myriads of happy homes--and it cannot always remain the +personal possession of a ring of unpatriotic self-seekers which may +more appropriately be likened to a vampire than to a dog. It was meant +to be a great country, and some day the hands that know how to make it +so will get hold of it, perhaps sooner than we think--possibly before +these pages see the light. I close my chronicle on the 18th of +September, 1902, at a moment when the political sky in this State is +brightened by a ray of hope such as it has not known for many a day, +and which may signify the approach of a new era, not for us only but +for the Commonwealth at large. + +Some months ago a movement of revolt against the state of things was +started by a few farmers, humble representatives of the uncorrupted +manhood of the community; they met in their little country town and +formed themselves into a league, which in a few months had branches in +all the rural districts. The moral force generated was enough to put +in a Government pledged (although no one believed its word) to the +league's programme of Economy and Reform. Only the typical, the +professional, politician jibed and jeered at the country bumpkins who +thought to touch his long-established power and his State-filled +pocket. "Is not this mine ass?" said he in effect, and, as soon as the +Reform Government submitted its Reform proposals, voted against them +with a light and fearless heart. But then an unexpected thing +happened. That Government chanced to be in earnest. On that vote it +not only resigned, but applied to the Governor for a dissolution--and +got it. "People's Turn Now" says (in big capitals) a city daily, +repeating the phrase with the same emphasis in every issue; and the +fact does seem to have come home to them at last. On the first of +October we shall see what we shall see. The Labour Party and the Civil +Service are combining in defence of the old _régime_, and their +numbers may be overwhelming; on the other side are the patriots, one +and all, and at their backs the Press, never before united at such a +time. + +I ought to have mentioned sooner--what everyone who knows this country +knows--how high and dignified is the moral and intellectual as well as +(comparatively speaking) the literary standard of our representative +journalism. It is beyond a doubt, and was never more so than at this +moment, that the Press of Australia has a consistent respect for +itself that is not found in some far greater nations. If there is a +"gutter" belonging to it, it is so small and inoffensive that no whiff +has reached my nose. With few exceptions (for which more or less can +be said on the score of other good qualities), there is nothing in +general circulation that is not almost austerely respectable. I have +been told of an editor of high position who, if "darling" appears in a +contributor's MS., crosses it out as an improper word, unfit for the +family circle. We are so respectable as that. The _Society Journal_, +vulgar spy and tale-bearer, cannot make a living here. In all the +papers, more or less, "social columns" are available for those who +wish to make public display of their frocks and entertainments, but +the old-fashioned lover of domestic privacy may count on being left +alone. As with some other of our national institutions, the founders +of our Press system were gentlemen. A standard of good taste and +high-mindedness was set in the beginning, and the tradition of it +remains a living force. When Edward Wilson of the _Argus_ bequeathed +the charge of his interests in that paper to the friend who for thirty +years conserved them so well--who for two-thirds of that time, until +his death, was my friend also and told me the story--the last +instructions of the dying man were: "Keep it gentlemanly, and never +let them be mean." The rival "great daily," the _Age_, is a power in +the State such as, I should think, no individual newspaper ever was in +any land, and the literary beauty and philosophical significance of +some of its Saturday leaders have reached a level that would have made +them notable amongst men of letters anywhere. And his daily newspaper +is as necessary as his meals to the average citizen, while the weekly +that belongs to it, a wonderful compendium of miscellaneous matter, is +drained to its last drop by the Sunday-resting Paterfamilias of the +rural districts, whose only book it is, and whom I have seen poring +over it luxuriously the live-long day. + +The Press of a country leads it, but it follows also, if only for the +reason that it has its living to earn. And our newspapers being what +they are--capable of the almost incredible nobleness of sinking their +life-long quarrels and party policies to stand shoulder to shoulder +when the true welfare of their State demands it--is the best proof of +its inherent soundness that any country could show. For the example of +Victoria will be an inspiration to her sister colonies, which are all +one people with her, and all in like case. + +It is indeed a good country, even as it stands. I can say with truth +and gratitude, homesickness notwithstanding, that nowhere could I have +been better off. And I am as sure as I am of anything that sooner or +later--this year or next year, or after my time--the day of +emancipation and enlightenment will come, to inevitably make it as +great as it is good. + + +THE END + + + _Colston & Coy., Limited, Printers. Edinburgh_ + + * * * * * + + +-----------------------------------------------------------+ + | Typographical errors corrected in text: | + | | + | Page 26: Melbourue replaced with Melbourne | + | Page 46: "in any of then" replaced with "in any of them" | + | Page 291: "so warmed by he reflected" replaced with | + | "so warmed by the reflected" | + | | + | Note that the spelling of 'canons' on page 62 is retained | + | as is since the writer of the quote does not have a good | + | grasp of the English language. | + | | + +-----------------------------------------------------------+ + + * * * * * + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Thirty Years in Australia, by Ada Cambridge + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA *** + +***** This file should be named 37825-8.txt or 37825-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/8/2/37825/ + +Produced by Darleen Dove, Shannon Barker, Jeannie Howse +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/American +Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Thirty Years in Australia + +Author: Ada Cambridge + +Release Date: October 23, 2011 [EBook #37825] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA *** + + + + +Produced by Darleen Dove, Shannon Barker, Jeannie Howse +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/American +Libraries.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> + +<div class="tr"> +<p class="cen" style="font-weight: bold;">Transcriber's Note:</p> +<br /> +<p class="noin">Inconsistent hyphenation and unusual spelling in the original document has been preserved.</p> +<p class="noin" style="text-align: left;">Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. +For a complete list, please see the <span style="white-space: nowrap;"><a href="#TN">end of this document</a>.</span></p> +<p class="noin">Click on the images to see a larger version.</p> +</div> + +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> + +<div class="img"> +<img border="0" src="images/cover.jpg" width="45%" alt="Book Cover" id='Coverpage' /> +</div> + +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h2>THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA</h2> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> + +<h1>THIRTY YEARS IN<br /> +AUSTRALIA</h1> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h4>BY</h4> +<h2>ADA CAMBRIDGE</h2> +<h5>AUTHOR OF "PATH AND GOAL" AND "THE DEVASTATORS"</h5> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h4>METHUEN & CO.<br /> +36 ESSEX STREET W.C.<br /> +LONDON<br /> +1903</h4> + +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h4>TO<br /> +MY TWO LIVING CHILDREN<br /> +AND THE DEAR MEMORY OF ONE<br /> +WHO WAS LIVING WHEN I WROTE IT<br /> +I DEDICATE THIS BOOK</h4> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="toc" id="toc"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_vii" id="Page_vii">[vii]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CONTENTS</h3> +<br /> + +<div class="centered"> +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" width="60%" summary="Table of Contents"> + <tr> + <td class="tdr" width="10%" style="font-size: 80%;">CHAP.</td> + <td class="tdl" width="70%"> </td> + <td class="tdr" width="20%" style="font-size: 80%;">PAGE</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">I.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">"ISLE OF BEAUTY, FARE THEE WELL!"</a></td> + <td class="tdr">1</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">II.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">AUSTRALIA FELIX</a></td> + <td class="tdr">11</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">III.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE BUSH</a></td> + <td class="tdr">23</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">IV.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE FIRST HOME</a></td> + <td class="tdr">35</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">V.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">DIK</a></td> + <td class="tdr">48</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">VI.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE SECOND HOME</a></td> + <td class="tdr">64</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">VII.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE THIRD HOME</a></td> + <td class="tdr">79</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">VIII.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE MURRAY JOURNEY</a></td> + <td class="tdr">93</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">IX.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">LOCAL COLOUR</a></td> + <td class="tdr">111</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">X.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE FOURTH HOME</a></td> + <td class="tdr">126</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XI.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE FIFTH HOME</a></td> + <td class="tdr">143</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XII.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE SIXTH HOME</a></td> + <td class="tdr">161</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XIII.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE BOOM</a></td> + <td class="tdr">177</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XIV.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE SEVENTH HOME</a></td> + <td class="tdr">189</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XV.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">TOBY</a></td> + <td class="tdr">203</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XVI.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE GREAT STRIKE</a></td> + <td class="tdr">214</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XVII.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">OVER THE BORDER</a></td> + <td class="tdr">236</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XVIII.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE END OF BUSH LIFE</a></td> + <td class="tdr">253</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XIX.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">THE EIGHTH HOME</a></td> + <td class="tdr">272</td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td class="tdr">XX.</td> + <td class="tdl"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">CONCLUSION</a></td> + <td class="tdr">295</td> + </tr> +</table> +</div> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span><br /> + +<h2>THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA</h2> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER I<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>"ISLE OF BEAUTY, FARE THEE WELL!"</h4> +<br /> + +<p>I knew nothing whatever of Australia when I rashly consented to marry +a young man who had irrevocably bound himself to go and live there, +and, moreover, to go within three months of the day on which the wild +idea occurred to me. During the seven weeks or thereabouts of a +bewildering engagement, the while I got together my modest trousseau, +we hunted for information in local libraries, and from more or less +instructed friends. The books were mostly old ones, the tales the +same. <i>Geoffrey Hamlyn</i> was my sheet anchor, but did not seem to be +supported by the scraps of prosaic history obtainable; we could not +verify those charming homes and social customs. On the other hand, +cannibal blacks and convict bushrangers appeared to be grim facts. As +for the physical characteristics of the country, there were but the +scentless flowers, the songless birds, the cherries with their stones +outside (none of which, actually, is the rule, and I have found +nothing to resemble the description of the latter), and the kangaroo +that carries its family in a breast-pocket, which we felt able to take +for granted. These <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span>things we did believe in, because all our +authorities mentioned them. G. had a letter from a college friend who +had preceded him to Australia, reporting the place not wild at all, +but quite like home. He instanced an episcopal dinner-party that he +had attended, and a church dignitary's "three sweetly pretty +daughters," who had come in the evening, and with whom he had sung +duets. But at time of writing he had got no further than +Melbourne—knew no more than we of the mysterious Bush, which I +thought of as a vast shrubbery, with occasional spears hurtling +through it. When we had assimilated all the information available, our +theory of the life before us was still shapeless. However, we were +young and trusting, and prepared to take things as they came.</p> + +<p>G. was an English curate for a few weeks, and an English rector for a +few more. It was just enough to give us an everlasting regret that the +conditions could not have remained permanent. Doubtless, if we had +settled in an English parish, we should have bewailed our narrow lot, +should have had everlasting regrets for missing the chance of breaking +away into the wide world; but since we did exile ourselves, and could +not help it, we have been homesick practically all the time—good as +Australia has been to us. At any moment of these thirty odd years we +would have made for our native land like homing pigeons, could we have +found the means; it was only the lack of the necessary "sinews" that +prevented us. Such a severe form of nostalgia is, however, uncommon +here, and would be cured, I am told, by a twelve months' trip. +Certainly, in nine cases out of ten, where I have known the remedy +tried, it has seemed infallible. The home-goers come <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span>back perfectly +satisfied to come back. It is when they stay at home for more than +twelve months that they want to stay altogether.</p> + +<p>G.'s brief curacy synchronised with our brief engagement. I was a +district visitor in the parish which he served, and in which he was +born. He became a rector on the wedding day. The charming rectory was +placed at our disposal for the honeymoon by the real incumbent, our +mutual friend, he and his good wife taking the opportunity to pay +visits until we had done with it. We drove thither in the afternoon, +and heard the bells ringing as we entered the village, and found the +rectory-gate set wide and the white-satin-ribboned maids awaiting us +on the doorstep of the beflowered house. We had two maids and a man +servant; we had a brougham; we had a tiny hamlet of a parish in which +(compared with what we have known of parishes) there was nothing to +do—two services on Sunday, and a little business of coal and clothing +clubs during the week—and where our parishioners dropped curtseys to +us on the road, and felt honoured beyond measure when we went to see +them. No wonder that, under the too totally opposite circumstances of +clerical life as we have lived it here, we have looked back to that +haven of dignified peace and ease with the wish—the stupid wish—that +we could have had it always.</p> + +<p>Nothing could have suited us better while we did have it. We were but +four miles from our homes, and could see our people, who were to lose +us in a month, while still ostensibly in bridal seclusion. A sister +from whom I was separated for the whole of the thirty years, but who +is with me now, to gossip, as we are always doing, of those old days, +used to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span>walk out before breakfast. We would have a quiet sewing +morning, getting forward with the preparations still so far from +completed; then we would perhaps drive her home in the afternoon, and +get an hour with my mother, who surpassed all the mothers I ever knew +in her unselfish passion for her children, and for whom my heart +bleeds to this day when I think of what my going cost her—for I know +more of mothers' sufferings in that way than I did then. She would be +working her dear fingers to the bone over something to add to the +array of zinc-lined boxes which were being fed by instalments in my +deserted room, and I see now the flash of tearful joy that lit her +fair, fine-featured face when I came with my poor crumb of comfort for +her hungry heart. Intimate girl companions walked over to lunch or to +play a game of croquet, or to make better use of the little time +remaining to us; and we walked half-way back with them on the lonely +road and through the leafy lanes. It was April and May, and, as far as +I can remember, all fine weather—a last impression of English +springtime that has lived with me like a beautiful portrait, an +idealised portrait, of a dead and longed-for friend. "Oh to be in +England now that April's there!" has been the yearly aspiration of my +homesick soul, which takes no account of east winds and leaden skies, +but only of chaffinches and apple boughs, just as Browning's did. My +birds are the skylarks above those fen-meadows, and the flower I think +of first my favourite lily-of-the-valley, of which I carried a great +bunch, with the dew still on it, to the cathedral on my +wedding-morning. And those golden May evenings, when we wandered back +along the empty road, after setting our friends on their homeward +way—I see them in some of Leader's <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span>pictures, which, if I were rich, +I would buy to live with me, for that reason only. The friends could +dine with us at the then usual hour, and still get home before the +slow twilight passed into night—a thing impossible in this country. +They were the last hours that we spent together—all young things +then, but now grey and elderly, though I cannot realise it; three of +them widows, most of them grandmothers, but never old to me, nor I to +them. For more than thirty years we have not met, and there have been +long gaps in our correspondence; but friendship has survived all, +unchanged. They still write to ask when they are to see me, and I +still write back to make provisional appointments which I can by no +effort contrive to keep.</p> + +<p>I was married on the 25th of April 1870. On the same date of the +following month I left them all, never—as now seems only too +probable—to return. We buoyed ourselves up through the anguish of the +last farewells with a promise, made in all good faith, that I should +come back in five years. My husband promised to bring me. "We must +save up," we said to each other, "and have a holiday then." It was an +easy thing to plan, but proved too difficult to carry out. After we +became a family, going anywhere meant going as a family, and taking +all the roots of its support and livelihood with it. Theoretically, I +could have run home alone, if not in five years, in eight or ten—we +could have afforded that—but practically it was as impossible as that +we should all go, which we could never afford. So here we are still, +and my poor mother, who lived to the last on the hope that we had +given her, has long been in her grave. There is no trace of an English +home to go back to now.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span>We went alone to London for two or three busy days. Friends of G.'s, +whom I had never seen before, adopted us for the time, and fathers and +mothers could not have done more for us. They furnished our cabin in +the docks, and attended to our luggage—we saw neither until we went +on board at Plymouth—and pressed help and comfort of every kind upon +us. The ship's regulation against private liquors was set at naught by +a great box that stood in our cabin throughout the voyage, placed +there by the order of one of these friends. The box was a complete +wine-cellar, containing, in addition to wines of the best and dozens +of soda water, an assortment of choice cordials and liqueurs, the like +of some of which we have not tasted since. There was a particular +ginger-brandy—administered to me in the cold, wild weather of which +we had so much—that we have tried to get at various times in vain. +What we get is as moonlight unto sunlight compared with that +ginger-brandy of the ship. I may say that the donor was a London wine +merchant in extensive business. Not we only, but many a sick and +shivering fellow-passenger had cause to bless his generous heart and +hand.</p> + +<p>Our last sight of this gentleman and his family was on Paddington +platform, whither they had driven us after a festive farewell dinner, +at which our healths were drunk and good fortune invoked upon our +journey. We sat in the train, and they piled their parting presents on +our laps. One of them brought me a fine pair of field-glasses to look +at flying-fish and porpoises with—I use them now, daily, to watch the +approach of family and visitors coming across Hobson's Bay; another +rushed to the bookstall that had already supplied us with all its +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span>papers, bought a complete set of Dickens' novels, and tumbled them in +armfuls upon the carriage seat beside us, just as the train was moving +off. Australian hospitality cannot surpass that of those kind people, +to whom I had been a perfect stranger two days before.</p> + +<p>Most of the night, as we travelled down to Plymouth, I talked with paper +and pencil to my beloved ones at home. For change of position, and to +get better light, I knelt on the carriage seat for a time, spreading my +sheet on the leather of the back. Our one fellow-traveller, a stout +clergyman, dozing since we started in his distant corner, woke up to see +what I was doing, and remonstrated with me. "Don't you think," said he, +"that you had better try to sleep a little now, and write your letters +in the morning?" In the fulness of my heart, I told him that I did not +know how much of the morning might be left me, and the pressing reasons +that there were for making the most of my time. Then he informed us that +he too was to sail for Australia to-morrow, and by the same ship; and it +immediately transpired that he was the person for whose sake that ship +had been chosen for us. We had arranged a later start by one of Green's +line, when a venerable archdeacon, visiting us at our rectory, urged us +to change to one of Money Wigrams', because he knew of a Melbourne +clergyman who was going in her. The clergyman had his wife with him, +which our archdeacon thought would be so nice for me. With great +difficulty we transferred ourselves, anticipating advantages that we did +not get. The Melbourne clergyman—here revealed—was a good man, but an +uncongenial companion at close quarters; his wife—she was his second, +and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span>had been the servant of his first—was more so, and a terrible +stirrer-up of strife amongst the other lady passengers. She had embarked +in London.</p> + +<p>I remember the look of Devonshire in the early May dawn. My +grandmother had died at Ottery St. Mary, and I loved the pleasant +county and for years had wanted to explore it. But this was all I ever +saw of its beautiful face—Ivy Bridge (was that the name?), one scene +that has not faded, and the place where the railway ran close beside +the sea. We reached Plymouth at a ghastly hour before anybody was up. +At the hotel recommended to us by our latest friend we were shown into +a room where the dirty glasses and tobacco ashes of the night before +still defiled the air and the tablecloth. Here we sat until a bedroom +was ready for us, when we went to bed—which seemed a most useless +proceeding—until there was a fair chance of getting breakfast. A bath +and a good meal pulled us together, and then we went out for our last +walk on English ground. A charming walk it was, exploring that old +town—I would give something to be able to repeat it—and a sweet +conclusion to our home life. We returned to our hotel for a bite of +lunch, hired an old man and a barrow to trundle our few things (the +heavy baggage having been put on board in London) to the waterside, +and after him a waterman and a boat, and got out to our ship lying in +the Sound—the first we saw of her—at a little before noon, which was +her advertised sailing hour. The newspapers called her a "fine +powerful clipper ship of 1150 tons," and boasted that her saloon, +which was "a very spacious apartment," could "accommodate forty +passengers with ease." We were thirty-two and a baby, which seemed +just <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span>to fill it comfortably. Such were the mammoth liners of those +days. As we were rowed up to her gangway, bashful under the eyes of a +number of keenly-interested spectators, whose heads hung over the +bulwark, we thought her wonderful.</p> + +<p>The wife of our latest acquaintance received us on deck, but all she +wanted of us was information as to where her husband was and what he +was doing. We could not tell her; we had not seen him since our +arrival in the town. She could do nothing but watch for him, fuming; +and we went to our quarters and our discoveries of the comforts there +provided for us by the thoughtfulness of our London friends. We had +one of the only two large cabins on the ship; the other was the +captain's; the rudder clanked between us and him, behind the bulkhead +at the end of our wide curved sofa, where the pillow, tucked into a +bright rug, was a full-sized feather bed, a wedding present that at +first we did not know what to do with, but which soon proved the most +valuable of them all, as it still is, in the form of plenty of soft, +fat cushions all over the house. I spent a large part of my days at +sea reclining upon this downy mass, which began below my +shoulder-blades and sloped upward nearly to the ceiling; as I lay I +could look out of and down from the row of stern windows that made one +side of my couch, and watch the following birds and fishes—sometimes +a shark beguiled with a piece of pork—without lifting my head. It was +an envied place in the tropics, when the air swept free to the main +deck through open doors; but in rough weather—and it was nearly all +rough weather—the swing of the sea-saw was killing. It used to fling +me out of bed over a high bunk board until I was black and blue <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>with +my falls, and it kept me sea-sick the whole voyage.</p> + +<p>We "settled up" our room according to our inexperienced notions, and +at four o'clock we sat down to dinner in the "cuddy," still in port. +Excellent dinners we had at that odd hour for dining, which was the +regular hour, and really a very suitable one under the circumstances +of sea life, breaking up the long day of which most of us were tired +by the time the first dressing-bell rang at half-past three. The +function practically occupied the afternoon, and, as I said, was +carried out to the satisfaction of all save those who would never have +been satisfied with anything. That the company could feed us so well, +and lodge and carry us, for less than ten shillings a day argued good +management, but I think they must have relied on the dead cargo for +their profits. We were in Plymouth Sound on Sunday morning. On Sunday +evening a party of passengers went ashore to attend church. "Mind," +said the captain, "if a wind gets up while you are away, I shall not +wait for you." But no wind stirred that night, nor all the next day, +nor the next. Our clergyman friend (without his wife) darted to and +fro, for he was confident that no ship would venture to leave a person +of his importance behind, but we dared not risk it. We spent our time +leaning over the poop-rail, gazing at the dear land, so near and yet +so far, and thinking of our mourning relatives, with whom we might +have been if we had known. When I was not doing that, I was writing to +them. On Wednesday morning, the 1st of June—we had embarked on +Saturday—the post-bag was closed for the pilot, and I looked my last +on England through a grey sheet of rain.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER II<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>AUSTRALIA FELIX</h4> +<br /> + +<p>The story of a sea-voyage thirty years ago, if it could properly be +included in this chronicle, might interest the young reader, born +since the era of the sailing ship, and to whom therefore the true +romance of ocean travel is unknown. To me, who, if I could cross the +world to-morrow, would choose the most civilised steamer I could +afford, the memory of the <i>Hampshire</i> on her maiden trip brings regret +for beauty vanishing from the world, as the Pink Terraces of New +Zealand have vanished, or the big bird-thronged hedges of rural +England in my nutting and blackberrying childhood. All such losses +have been amply compensated for, no doubt—I am not of those who, +having outlived them, insist that the old times were better than the +new—but they are losses, notwithstanding. The fine old sailing +sailor-men and their noble seamanship, and the almost sentient +responsiveness of the "powerful clipper" of a thousand tons or so in +their hands—the spectacle of her with all her tiers of sails full, +leaning to the breeze, or fighting storms, bare-poled, by sheer brain +sense and the inspiration of the divinest unconscious courage that +human history can show—there is nothing in the splendid new régime to +touch the heart and the imagination as these did. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>I forget the +hard-bottomed and treacherous bunks, the soon-carpetless, soaked +floors, the dancing table that shot fowls and legs of mutton into our +laps out of dish and fiddle, the cold that one could find no shelter +from except in bed, the terrible gales, the incurable sea-sickness, +the petty feuds of the lady passengers; that is, I think of them as +not worth thinking of, with the feeling that it was finer to rough it +a bit as we did than to be pampered at every turn as sea-travellers +are now, and in recognition of the fact that my sufferings brought me +many pleasures that otherwise I should have been deprived of. The +captain wanted to—only I would not let him—give me his own swinging +cot. The head steward used to smuggle in mysterious parcels, which, +when unwrapped, disclosed little dainties, specially prepared and hot +from the cooking-stove, to tempt her who was said to be "the most +sea-sick lady they had ever carried." The other ladies, when not +immersed in their little social broils, from which my physical state +and geographical position detached me, were kindness itself. One of +them gave me that nearly extinct article, a hair net—it was the day +of chignons, the manufacture of which was beyond me—and seldom have I +received a more useful gift. With my hair tucked into this bag, +dressing-gowned and shawled, I used to go up after nightfall to a +couch on the skylight; there I would enjoy myself, feeling fairly well +until I moved to go down again—amused with the little comedies going +on around me, and enraptured with the picture of the winged vessel as +I looked up through her labyrinth of rigging to the mastheads and the +sky, and then down and around at the sea and the night through which +she moved so majestically. Pictures <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>of her sweeping through a +dream-like world of moonlight and mystery are indelible in my mind. +Sometimes the moonlight was so bright that we played chess and card +games by it on the skylight and about the deck. At other times we lay +becalmed, and I had my chance to dress myself and enjoy the evening +dance or concert, or whatever was going on. But at the worst of +times—even in the tremendous storms, when the ship lay poop-rail +under, all but flat on her beam ends (drowning the fowls and pigs on +that side), or plunged and wallowed under swamping cross-seas that +pounded down through smashed skylights upon us tumbling about +helplessly in the dark—even in these crises of known danger and +physical misery there was something exhilarating and uplifting—a +sense of finely-lived if not heroic life, that may come to the coddled +steamer passenger when the machinery breaks down, but which I cannot +associate with him and his "floating hotel" under any circumstances +short of impending shipwreck.</p> + +<p>We sighted Cape Otway on the 16th of August. Seventy-seven days! Yet +the Melbourne newspapers of the 19th called it smart work, considering +the sensational weather we had passed through. More than forty ships +were reported overdue when we arrived—a curious thing to think of +now, with the steamers crowding every port keeping time like +clockwork. The pilots that bring them up the bay can rarely enjoy the +popularity and prestige of their predecessors of the last generation. +The sensation caused by the knowledge that ours was on board, with his +month-and-a-half-old letters and newspapers, filled with information +of the happenings in the world from which we had been totally cut off +for <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>nearly a quarter of a year, must have been delightful to him. We +came out to breakfast to find him there, crowded about by the young +men, the honoured guest of the company, one and all of whom hung upon +his every word—particularly the gamblers who had had to wait till now +for the name of the Derby winner. I remember that this item of news +was considered the most important; next to it was the news that +Dickens was dead.</p> + +<p>Although we sighted land on the 16th, it was not until the 19th that +we set foot upon it, so leisurely did we do things in those days. +Contrary winds kept us hovering about the Heads for some hours. The +pilot who came on board before breakfast saw us well into our +afternoon dinner before he decided to tack through the Rip against +them; we shortened the meal which it was our custom to make the most +of in order to watch the manœuvre, which was very pretty. The +captain was charmed with it, although there was one awful moment when +the vessel was but her own length from one of the reefs—the noise of +the wind had caused one of the yelled orders to be misunderstood—and +it was amusing to note his joyous excitement as he marched about, +rubbing his hands. "She's a yacht, sir," he bawled to the sympathetic +pilot; "you can do anything with her." "You can that," the pilot +answered, as he made his delicate zig-zags through that formidable +gateway in the teeth of the wind—a feat in seamanship that the +dullest landlubber could not but admire and marvel at.</p> + +<p>And so we came to shelter and calm water at last. We anchored off +Queenscliff and signalled for the doctor, who did not immediately put +out to us, as he should have done. We had had such hopes of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>getting +to a shore bed that night that most of us had stripped our cabins—the +furniture of which had to be of our own providing—and packed +everything up; now we had to unpack again, to get out bedding for +another night and find a candle by which to see to take off the smart +shore clothes in which we had sat all day, eyeing each other's +costumes, which for the first time seemed to reveal us in our true +characters. We were ungratefully disheartened by this trivial +disappointment, and retired to rest all grumbling at the Providence +which had brought us through so many perils unharmed.</p> + +<p>Next morning the ship seethed with indignation because the doctor +still made no sign. What happened to him afterwards I don't know, but +the penalties he was threatened with for being off duty at the wrong +time were heavy. He detained us so long that again our confident +expectation of a shore bed was frustrated; for yet another night we +had to camp in our dismantled cabin. The pair of tugs that dragged us +from the Heads to Hobson's Bay, making their best pace, could not get +us home until black night had fallen and it was considered too late to +go up to the pier.</p> + +<p>I suppose it was about nine o'clock when we dropped anchor. All we +could see of the near city was a three-quarter ring of lights dividing +dark water from dark sky—just what I see now every night when I come +upstairs to bed, before I draw the blinds down. We watched them, +fascinated, and—still more fascinating—the boats that presently +found their way to us, bringing welcoming friends and relatives to +those passengers who possessed them. We, strangers in a strange land, +sat apart and watched these favoured ones—listened to their <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>callings +back and forth over the ship's side, beheld their embraces at the +gangway, their excited interviews in the cuddy, their gay departures +into the night and the unknown, which in nearly every case swallowed +them for ever as far as we were concerned. Three only of the whole +company have we set eyes on since—excepting the friend who became our +brother—and one of these three renewed acquaintance with us but a +year or two ago. Another I saw once across a hotel dinner-table. The +third was the clergyman who had been so kindly foisted on us—or we on +him—before we left England; and it was enough for us to see him afar +off at such few diocesan functions as we afterwards attended together; +we dropped closer relations as soon as there was room to drop them. +However, he was a useful and respected member of his profession, and +much valued by his own parish, from which death removed him many a +year ago. Quite a deputation of church members came off to welcome him +on that night of his return from his English holiday, and to tell him +of the things his <i>locum tenens</i> had been doing in his absence. He was +furious at learning that this person—at the present moment the head +of the Church of England in this state—had had the presumption to +replace an old organ—<i>his</i> old organ—with a new one. In the +deputation were ladies with votive bouquets for his wife; the perfume +of spring violets in the saloon deepened the sense of exile and +solitude that crept upon us when their boat and the rest had vanished +from view, leaving but the few friendless ones to the hospitality of +the ship for a last night's lodging.</p> + +<p>However, in the morning, we had our turn. It was the loveliest +morning, a sample of the really <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span>matchless climate (which we had been +informed was exactly like that of the palm-houses at Kew), clear as +crystal, full of sunshine and freshness; and when we awoke amid +strange noises, and looked out of our port-hole, we saw that not sea +but wooden planks lay under it—Port Melbourne railway pier, exactly +as it is now, only that its name was then Sandridge and its old piles +thirty years stouter where salt water and barnacles gnawed them.</p> + +<p>With what joy as well as confidence did we don our best clerical coat +and our best purple petticoat and immaculate black gown (the skirt +pulled up out of harm's way through a stout elastic waist-cord, over +which it hung behind in a soft, unobtrusive bag, for street wear), and +lay out our Peter Robinson jacket and bonnet, and gloves from the +hermetically sealed bottle, upon the bare bunk! And the breakfast we +then went to is a memory to gloat upon—the succulent steak, the fresh +butter and cream, the shore-baked rolls, the piled fruits and salads; +nothing ever surpassed it except the mid-day meal following, with its +juicy sirloin and such spring vegetables as I had never seen. This +also I battened on, with my splendidly prepared appetite, though G. +did not. The bishop's representative—our first Australian friend, +whose fine and kindly face is little changed in all these years, and +which I never look upon without recalling that moment, my first and +just impression of it and him—appeared in our cabin doorway early in +the morning; and it was deemed expedient that G. should go with him to +report himself at headquarters, and return for me when that business +was done. So I spent some hours alone, watching the railway station at +the head of the pier through my strong glasses. In the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span>afternoon I +too landed, and was driven to lodgings that had been secured for us in +East Melbourne, where we at once dressed for dinner at the house of +our newest friend, and for one of the most charming social evenings +that I ever spent. The feature of it that I best remember was a vivid +literary discussion based upon <i>Lothair</i>, which was the new book of +the hour, and from which our host read excruciating extracts. How +brightly every detail of those first hours in Australia stands out in +the mind's records of the past—the refined little dinner (I could +name every dish on the dainty table), the beautiful and adored invalid +hostess, who died not long afterwards, and whom those who knew her +still speak of as "too good for this world"; the refreshment of +intellectual talk after the banalities of the ship; the warm kindness +of everybody, even our landlady, who was really a lady, and like a +mother to me; the comfort of the sweet and clean shore life—I shall +never cease to glow at the recollection of these things. The beautiful +weather enhanced the charm of all, and—still more—the fact that, +although at first I staggered with the weakness left by such long +sea-sickness, I not only recovered as soon as my foot touched land, +but enjoyed the best health of my life for a full year afterwards.</p> + +<p>The second day was a Saturday, and we were taken out to see the +sights. No description that we had read or heard of, even from our +fellow-passengers whose homes were there, had prepared us for the +wonder that Melbourne was to us. As I remember our metropolis then, +and see it now, I am not conscious of any striking general change, +although, of course, the changes in detail are innumerable. It was a +greater city for its age thirty years ago <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>than it is to-day, great as +it is to-day. I lately read in some English magazine the statement +that tree-stumps—likewise, if I mistake not, kangaroos—were features +of Collins Street "twenty-five years ago." I can answer for it that in +1870 it was excellently paved and macadamised, thronged with its +waggonette-cabs, omnibuses, and private carriages—a perfectly good +and proper street, except for its open drainage gutters. The nearest +kangaroo hopped in the Zoological Gardens at Royal Park. In 1870, +also—although the theatrical proceedings of the Kelly gang took place +later—bushranging was virtually a thing of the past. So was the Bret +Harte mining-camp. We are credited still, I believe, with those +romantic institutions, and our local story-writers love to pander to +the delusion of some folks that Australia is made up of them; I can +only say—and I ought to know—that in Victoria, at any rate, they +have not existed in my time. Had they existed in the other colonies, I +must have heard of it. The last real bushranger came to his inevitable +bad end shortly before we arrived. The cowardly Kellys, murderers, and +brigands as they were, and costlier than all their predecessors to +hunt down, always seemed to me but imitation bushrangers. Mining has +been a sober pursuit, weighted with expensive machinery. Indeed, we +have been quite steady and respectable, so far as I know. In the way +of public rowdyism I can recall nothing worth mentioning—unless it be +the great strike of 1890.</p> + +<p>We went to see the Town Hall—the present one, lacking only its +present portico; and the splendid Public Library, as it was until a +few years ago, when a wing was added; and the Melbourne Hospital, as +it stands to-day; and the University, housed as it is <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>now, and +beginning to gather its family of colleges about it. We were taken +a-walking in the Fitzroy Gardens—saw the same fern gully, the same +plaster statues, that still adorn it; and to the Botanical Gardens, +already furnished with their lakes and swans, and rustic bridges, and +all the rest of it. And how beautiful we thought it all! As I have +said, it was springtime, and the weather glorious. There had been +excessive rains, and were soon to be more—rains which caused 1870 to +be marked in history as "the year of the great floods"—but the +loveliness of the weather as we first knew it I shall never forget.</p> + +<p>We finished the week in the suburban parish that included Pentridge, +the great prison of the State—an awesome pile of dressed granite then +as now. The incumbent was not well, and G. was sent to help him with +his Sunday duty. The first early function was at the gaol, from which +they brought back an exquisitely-designed programme of the music and +order of service, which I still keep amongst my mementoes of those +days. It was done by a prisoner, who supplied one, and always a +different one, to the chaplain each Sunday.</p> + +<p>At his house—where again we were surprised to find all the +refinements we had supposed ourselves to have left in England, for he +and his wife were exceptionally cultivated persons—we slept on the +ground floor for the first time in our lives, all mixed up with +drawing-room and garden, which felt very strange and public, and +almost improper. Now I prefer the bungalow arrangement to any other; I +like to feel the house all round me, close and cosy, and to be able to +slip from my bed into the open air when I like, and not to be cut off +from folks <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span>when I am ill. For more than twenty years I was accustomed +to it, sleeping with open windows and unlocked doors, like any Bedouin +in his tent, unmolested in the loneliest localities by night-prowling +man or beast. I miss this now, when I live in town and have to climb +stairs and isolate myself—or sleep with shut windows (which I never +will) in a ground-floor fortress, made burglar-proof at every point.</p> + +<p>Bishop and Mrs. Perry had a dinner-party for us on Monday. That day +was otherwise given to our particular ship friend (of whom I shall say +more presently); with him, a stranger in the land like ourselves, we +had adventures and excursions "on our own," eluding the many kind folk +who would have liked to play courier. We lunched plentifully at an +excellent restaurant—I cannot identify it now, but it fixed our +impression that we had indeed come to a land of milk and honey—and +then rambled at large. The evening was very pleasant. Whether as host +or guest, the first Bishop of Melbourne was always perfect, and we met +some interesting people at his board. Others came in after dinner, +amongst them two of the "sweetly pretty daughters," of whom we had +heard in England, and who did not quite come up to our expectations. +They are hoary-headed maiden ladies now—the youngest as white as the +muslin of the frock she wore that night.</p> + +<p>We did many things during the remainder of the week, which was full of +business, pleasure, and hospitalities, very little of our time being +spent in privacy. The shops were surprisingly well furnished and +tempting, and we acted upon our supposition that we should find none +to speak of in the Bush. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>We made careful little purchases from day to +day. The very first of them, I think, was Professor Halford's +snake-bite cure. We had an idea that, once out of the city, our lives +would not be safe without it for a day. It was a hypodermic syringe +and bottle of stuff, done up in a neat pocket-case. That case did +cumber pockets for a time, but it was never opened, and eventually +went astray and was no more seen—or missed. Yet snakes were quite +common objects of the country then. I used to get weary of the +monotony of sitting my horse and holding G.'s, while at every mile or +so he stopped to kill one, during our Bush-rides in warm weather. +English readers should know that in the Bush it has ever been a point +of honour, by no means to be evaded, to kill every snake you see, if +possible, no matter how difficult the job, nor how great your +impatience to be after other jobs. That probably is why they are so +infrequent now that any chance appearance of the creature is +chronicled in the papers as news.</p> + +<p>Another early purchase was a couple of large pine-apples, at +threepence a-piece. We each ate one (surreptitiously, in a retired +spot), and realised one of the ambitions of our lives—to get enough +of that delicacy for once.</p> + +<p>On Saturday the 24th, the eighth day from our arrival, we turned our +backs upon all this wild dissipation and our faces towards stern duty. +We left Melbourne for the Bush.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER III<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE BUSH</h4> +<br /> + +<p>It was not quite bush, to start with, because we travelled by railway +to our immediate destination, and that was a substantial township set +amongst substantial farms and stations, intersected by made roads. But +on the way we had samples of typical country, between one +stopping-place and another. First, there were the ugly, stony plains, +with their far-apart stone fences, formed by simply piling the brown +boulders, bound together by their own weight only, into walls of the +required height. This dreary country represented valuable estates, and +remains of the same aspect and in the hands of the same families, I +believe, still. Gradually these stone-strewn levels merged into +greener and softer country, which grew the gum-trees we had heard so +much of; and presently we came to closely-folded, densely-forested +hills, the "Dividing Range"—a locality to be afterwards associated +with many charming memories—where snow and cloud-mists enwrapped one +in winter, and from which the distant panorama of the low-lying +capital and the sea was lovely on a clear day. But it was like eating +one's first olive, that first acquaintance with Bush scenery; we had +not got the taste of it. I cannot remember that we admired anything. +Rather, an impression <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>remains—the only one that does remain—of a +cheerless effect upon our minds. Perhaps the weather had changed.</p> + +<p>There was no lack of cheer in the welcome awaiting us at our journey's +end. Our clergyman-host met us on the railway platform with the face +of a father greeting children home from school. There was a cab +waiting, into which our traps were thrown, but we preferred to walk up +to the parsonage through the streets of the clean little town, that we +might study its unexpected points and see how enterprising and +civilised the Bush could be. The parson's wife, aged twenty-one and +four years married, received us on the doorstep of the cheerful house, +and at once we were as perfectly at home in it as in our own. That was +the way with all Australian houses, we found.</p> + +<p>Sunday was certainly wet. The two parsons drove out to a Bush service +in the afternoon, and we their wives had a bad quarter of an hour +listening to the bell ringing for the evening one, while yet there was +no sign of their return who had promised to be back for tea; the boggy +roads and swollen water-courses so delayed them that it was on the +stroke of church time ere they turned up. But next day the sun shone +again, and we were taken for a drive over macadamised roads and shown +things that corrected our opinion of Bush scenery. And that day, +neighbouring clergymen, Sunday off their minds, came to make our +acquaintance, all full of information and advice for us, all eager +themselves for news from the "Old Country." Mrs C. gave them +shakedowns on sofas and floor, to which they repaired at disgraceful +hours of the night, because they could not stop talking. Where is that +party now?—the merriest clerical party I was ever in. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span>The host, our +friend from that day, and godfather to one of our sons, was made a +bishop, and died but a few months ago; his merry wife is a +broken-hearted widow, crippled with neuritis. One of the guests, in +after years still more intimately dear, became an archdeacon, and is +now dead also. Two others are past work, resting in retirement until +the end comes. We, the youngest of the group, bar one, are beginning +to realise that the evening for us also is drawing on.</p> + +<p>It was here, by the way, that we had news of the commencement of the +war between France and Prussia. It came by the monthly mail-boat, +which was our one channel of communication with the world. This budget +gave texts for the discussions that are so memorable for their +vivacity and charm. A great day was mail-day in those times. Looking +back, I cannot remember that we fretted much over our four blank +weeks, during which the most awful and personally serious things might +happen without our knowing it; but I do remember that when we got the +cable many of us grumbled because it took away the interest of +mail-day, which became to us as a novel of which we know the ending +before we begin to read it.</p> + +<p>Holiday travels ended on the last day of August. That night we started +for the up-country post to which G. had been appointed, and where he +was expected to begin his duties on the following Sunday. August 31st +was a Wednesday, and therefore ample time seemed to have been allowed +for a journey from Melbourne which the daily coach accomplished in +less than a couple of days (and which is now done by the Sydney +express in four hours). However, "the year of the great flood" was +already making <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span>its reputation. Bridges and culverts had been washed +away, and the coach-road was reported impassable for ladies. Men could +wade and swim, assist to push the vehicle and extricate it from +bogs—they were expected to do so—but the authorities in Melbourne +advised my husband that the conditions were too rough for me. +Consequently we took a round-about route, whereby it was still +reckoned that we should get to our destination before Sunday.</p> + +<p>The C.'s saw us off during the afternoon—not back to town, but on by +the railway which ended at the Murray. We were passed on from friend +to friend until a group of kind men—whom I never saw before or since, +but shall never forget—established us on board the little Murray +streamer which was to be our home till Saturday. It was the mild +spring night of that part of the colony, which embraces so many +climates; and I can see now, in my mind's eye, the swirl of the +brimming river that so soon after overflowed the town; the lights of +the wharf and the boat, which spangled the dark sky and water with +sparks from its wood-fed furnace; the generally romantic +picturesqueness of a scene—one of a sensational series—which +indelibly impressed itself upon me, an imaginative young person seeing +the world for the first time.</p> + +<p>I can only with an effort remember how uncomfortable that boat was; +when I think of it at all, my mind fills with recollections of the +deeply interesting experiences that came to me by its means. On that +flooded river—so flooded that its bed, for the greater part of the +way, was marked by no banks, but only its bordering trees—I saw +blacks <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>in native costume, the now rare kangaroo and emu in flocks; +black swans, white ibises, grey cranes; the iguana running up a tree, +the dear laughing jackass in his glory; all the notorious +characteristics of the country, and many more undreamed of. Most +distinctly do I remember, the unceasing chorus of the frogs, and the +solemn-sounding echo of the steamer's puffs and pants through the +solitary gum-forests, especially at night. But we soon had to leave +off travelling at night, on account of the many foreign bodies that +the flood was whirling down—the débris of houses and bridges, trees, +stacks, all sorts of things. Indeed, even in daylight the navigation +of the turbulent stream was a most risky business.</p> + +<p>Consternation fell upon us when Saturday morning came, and we were +informed that there was small chance of completing the passage that +day. This meant being stranded in a strange township, at some possibly +low public-house, on Sunday, when the coach of our last stage would +not be running, and the breaking of an engagement that was considered +of immense importance.</p> + +<p>"What shall we do?" we asked ourselves, and the question was overheard +by fellow-passengers, anxious, as everybody was, to help us.</p> + +<p>"It's a pity you can't cut across," said one. "From here to W—— is +no distance as the crow flies."</p> + +<p>Compared with the bow-loop we were making, it was no distance—a few +hours' drive, with normal roads and weather; and just then the steamer +stopped to take in cargo from a lonely shed, near which we perceived a +cart, a grazing horse, and a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>man, evidently belonging to each other, +and on the right (Victorian) side of the stream.</p> + +<p>"Would it be possible," one of us suggested, "to hire that cart and +cut across?"</p> + +<p>G. went to try, while I leaned over the boat's rail and anxiously +watched the negotiations. They were successful, and we hurriedly +collected our wraps and bags, our heavy luggage was put ashore, and +the steamer passed on and vanished round the next bend of the river, +which was all bends, leaving us on the bank—in the real Bush for the +first time, and delighted with the situation. The man with the cart +had guaranteed to get us home before nightfall.</p> + +<p>We climbed over our boxes, which filled the body of the vehicle, +settled ourselves upon them as comfortably as their angles permitted, +and started merrily on our way. It was the morning of the day, of the +season, of the Australian year, of our two lives; and I could never +lose the memory of my sensations in that vernal hour. I can sniff now +the delicious air, rain-washed to more than even its accustomed +purity, the scents of gum and wattle and fresh-springing grass, the +atmosphere of untainted Nature and the free wilds. I can see the vast +flocks of screaming cockatoos and parrots of all colours that darted +about our path—how wonderful and romantic I thought them! And what +years it is since the wild parrot has shown himself to me in any +number or variety! Like the once ubiquitous 'possum, he seems a +vanishing race—at any rate, in this state. I suppose they still have +sanctuary in the larger and less settled ones. I hope so.</p> + +<p>However, we were not far on this promising journey when troubles +began. The rain returned, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span>and settled to a solid downpour, that +increased to a deluge as the day wore on. The Bush track became softer +and softer, stickier and stickier, the dreadful bogs of its deeper +parts more and more difficult of negotiation by the poor overweighted, +willing horse, whose strength, as we soon saw, was unequal to the task +before him. He got on fairly well until after the noonday halt, when +he was rubbed down and fed—when we also were fed by a poor selector's +wife at whose hut (in the absence of hotels) we solicited food, and +who gave us all she had, bread and cream, as much as we could eat, and +then refused to take a penny for it. But starting again, with rain +heavier than before, the poor beast's struggles to do his hopeless +best became more than I could bear. When I had seen him scramble +through three or four bogs that sucked him down like quicksands, and +it seemed that he must burst his heart in the effort to get out of +them, I stopped the cart and said I would walk. My weight might not be +much, but such as it was he should be relieved of it. G. also walked, +but as he was needed to help the driver I left him and was soon far +ahead, intending to give this negative aid to the expedition as long +as I could find my way.</p> + +<p>I had been told to "follow the track," and I followed it for miles. +The Bush was drowned in rain, so that I had to jump pools, and climb +logs and branches, and get round swamps, in such a way that I felt it +every minute more impossible to retrace my steps. I carried an +umbrella, but I was wet to the skin. I was quite composed, however, +except for my distress on account of the poor horse, whose master's +voice and whip I could hear in the distance behind me from time to +time; and I was not at all <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span>alarmed. I had prepared myself for the +savageness of a savage country. I imagined that this was the sort of +thing I should have to get accustomed to. Now and then I sat down to +recover breath and to wring my sopping skirts, and to wait for the +sound of the cart advancing, after the frequent silences that +betokened bogs.</p> + +<p>By the way, I hear nothing nowadays of those bogs which, in their +various forms, made our winter drives so exciting—the "glue-pots," +the "rotten grounds," the "spue-holes," worst of all, indicated by a +little bubble-up of clayey mud that you could cover with a +handkerchief, but which, if a horse stepped on it, would take his leg +to the knee, or to any depth that it would go without breaking. "Made" +roads and drainage-works seem to have done away with them this long +time, for the other day I met a resident of the locality who did not +know, until I told him, what a spue-hole was.</p> + +<p>At last it was all silence. I waited for the cart, and it did not +come. I called—there was no answer. At the end of an hour—it may +have been two or three hours—the situation was the same. What had +happened was that the horse was at last in a bog that he could not get +out of, and that bog was miles away. I could not go back to see what +had happened. I did not know where I was. I conjectured that I had +turned off the track somewhere, and that my husband was travelling +away from me; that I was lost in the Bush, where I might never be +found again—where I should have to spend the night alone, at any +rate, in the horrible solitude and darkness and the drenching rain.</p> + +<p>Appropriately, in this extremity, and just as dusk was closing in, I +heard a splashing and a crashing, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span>and my knight appeared—one of +those fine, burly, bearded squatter-men who were not only the backbone +of their young country, but everything else that was sound and strong. +He drew rein in amazement; I rose from my log and stood before him in +the deepest confusion. Finally I explained my plight, and in two +minutes all trouble was over. Bidding me stay where I was for a short +time longer, he galloped away, and presently returned in a buggy +loaded with rugs and wraps, and bore me off to his house somewhere +near, telling me that he would return again for my husband, and had +sent men to the rescue of the cart and horse, now so buried in the bog +that not much more than his head and neck were visible.</p> + +<p>Ah, those dear Bush-houses—so homely, so cosy, so hospitable, so +picturesque—and now so rare! At least a dozen present themselves to +my mind when I try to recall a perfect type, and this one amongst the +first, although I never was in it after that night. They were always a +nest of buildings that had grown one at a time, the house-father +having been his own architect, with no design but to make his family +comfortable, and to increase their comfort as his means allowed. And +this must have been the golden prime of the squatter class in +Victoria, for the free selector had but lately been let loose upon his +lands, and the consequent ruin that he prognosticated had not visibly +touched him. In the early stages of home-making, his home-life had +been rough enough; but there was no roughness in it now, although +there was plenty of work, and although the refinements about him were +all in keeping with his hardy manliness, his simplicity, and sincerity +of character. I used to be much struck by <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span>the contrast of his +cherished "imported" furniture with its homely setting—the cheval +glass and the mahogany wardrobe on the perhaps bare, dark-grey +hardwood floor—incongruities of that sort, which somehow always +seemed in taste. Never have I known greater luxury of toilet +appointments than in some of those hut-like dwellings. In the humblest +of them the bed stood always ready for the casual guest, a clean brush +and comb on the dressing-table, and easy house-slippers under it. And +then the paper-covered canvas walls used to belly out and in with the +wind that puffed behind them; opossums used to get in under the roof +and run over the canvas ceilings, which sagged under their weight, +showing the impression of their little feet and of the round of their +bodies where they sat down.</p> + +<p>The country-houses become more and more Europeanised, year by year. +The inward ordering matches the outward architecture, and, although +Australian hospitality has survived the homes that were its +birthplaces, one hesitates to present one's self as an uninvited guest +at the door with the electric bell and the white-capped maid, who +asks, "What name, sir?" when you inquire if the family are at home. +There is an off-chance that you may be unwelcome, or, at any rate +inopportune, whereas it was impossible to imagine such a thing in what +we now lovingly call "the old days."</p> + +<p>I came in, an utter stranger, out of the dark night and that wet and +boggy wilderness, weary and without a dry stitch on me, to such a +scene, such a welcome, as I could not forget in a dozen lifetimes. The +door had been flung wide on the approach of the buggy, and I was +lifted down into the light that poured from it, and passed straight +into what appeared <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span>to be the living room of the family, possibly +their only one. The glorious log fire of the country—the most +beautiful piece of house-furniture in the world—blazed on the snowy +white-washed hearth, filling every nook with warmth and comfort; and +the young mistress, a new-made mother just up from her bed, in a smart +loose garment that would now be called a tea-gown, came forward from +her armchair to greet me as if I had been her sister, at the least. +The table was spread for the dinner, to which the husband had been +riding home when I encountered and delayed him; and what a feature of +the charming picture it was! I remember the delicious boiled chicken +and mutton curry that were presently set upon it, and how I enjoyed +them. But first I was taken into an inner bedroom, to another glowing +fire, around which were grouped a warm bath ready to step into, soft +hot towels, sponge and soap, and a complete set of my hostess's best +clothes, from a handsome black silk dress to shoes and stockings and a +pocket-handkerchief. In these I dined, and, retiring early, as she had +to do, found a smart nightgown, dressing-gown, and slippers toasting +by my fire. And I sank to rest between fine linen sheets, and slept +like a top until crowing cocks, within a few feet of me, proclaimed +the break of day.</p> + +<p>That day was Sunday, and G. had to preach at morning service some +eight or nine miles away. So we were early seated at a good breakfast, +and a light buggy and a pair of strong, fast horses were brought +round, to take us in good time to our destination. Our host himself +drove us, and incidentally taught us what Bush driving meant. I +remember how we made new roads for ourselves on the spur of the moment +to avoid bogs, and how gamely we battled <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span>through those that were +unavoidable; how we flew over the treacherous green levels that the +expert eye recognised as "rotten," where, had the horses been allowed +to pause for a moment, they would have sunk and stuck; and how finally +we dashed in style into the township and up to the parsonage-gate, +where a venerable archdeacon was anxiously looking for the curate whom +he had almost given up for lost. The church-bell had not yet begun to +ring. In fact, the family were still at breakfast when we arrived.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER IV<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE FIRST HOME</h4> +<br /> + +<p>We had to wait in lodgings for a few weeks, during which time we made +acquaintance with the place and people.</p> + +<p>Our lodgings were very comfortable. Sitting-room and bedroom, with a +door between, our other door opening upon a big plot of virgin bush, +alive with magpies, whose exquisite carolling in the early hours of +the day is the thing that I remember best. There is no bird-song in +the world so fresh and cheery. I seldom hear it now, but when I do I +am back again, in imagination, at breakfast near that open door, +drinking in the sweetness of the lovely September mornings which were +the morning of my life. Never had I known such air and sunshine, or +such health to enjoy them; and never do I feel so much an Australian +as when I go to the Bush again and am welcomed by that fluty note. The +spirit of happy youth is in it, and of those "good old times" which we +old colonists have so many reasons to regret to-day. No song of +English nightingale could strike deeper to my heart.</p> + +<p>Speaking of breakfast reminds me of the luxury we lived in, in respect +of food. Never was such a land of plenty as this was then, when no one +dreamed of butter and beef at what is their market <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span>rate this day. We +had young appetites, in fine order after the sea-voyage, and the more +we ate the better was our landlady pleased. It hurt her as a hostess +and housewife to have any dish neglected. And she simply stuffed us +with good things; the meal prepared for us two might have served +half-a-dozen, and given bilious attacks to all. One mistake only did +she make in the arrangement of her bill of fare—she gave us too many +quinces; apparently they were a superfluity in her garden, as they +have since been in nearly all of ours. At first they were a novel and +welcome delicacy, but when we had had them at every meal for weeks—in +jam, jelly, tart, pudding, and pie, with cream, with custard, with +bread and butter, and inlaid in sandwich cake—we were so thoroughly +sickened of them that neither of us have wanted to look at a quince +since. We have given the fruit away in sacksful to our neighbours, +season after season, all these thirty years, and not cooked one; just +lately—tempted by a brilliant carbuncle-hued jelly presented to me by +a gifted little cook in my family—I have suddenly re-acquired a taste +for it (which G. says will never happen to him), and now for the first +time we have no quinces in the garden. That is to say, we have +quinces—as also pears and almonds and other fruits—but the thieving +little town-boys that live around us steal everything before it is fit +to pluck. And I may here add, in regard to this sad fact, that when we +came to our town-house we found a notice-board up in the +orchard-paddock at the back, offering a reward of £5 for the +apprehension of "trespassers upon these premises." While it remained +up, there was always a policeman outside the fence. It was the joy of +our own school-boys to bamboozle him by scaling the fence at night or +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span>in some surreptitious manner, pretending to be trespassers, and only +when they had given him all the trouble and satisfaction of +apprehending them, revealing their identity as sons of the house. But +I could not bear this board—such an anomaly in the colony, as I had +known it; I thought it horrible in any case, but on a clergyman's land +quite scandalous; and I did not rest until it was taken down. Now I +understand the meaning of it. No sooner was it gone than the policeman +disappeared for ever. And the thieving boys took, and keep, possession +of the place—at any rate, of the fruit; and of the flowers when they +fancy them, as occasionally they do. The fowls are locked up in their +house at night, and could defend themselves with audible squawks in +day-time. The back gate is also locked. But those young villains make +their own gates; they breach the defences by simply tearing down a few +palings, and pass through the hole. We mend it up, or hire a man to +mend it—more than the £5 of the reward must have gone in this +way—and next night they break it open again, or make another in an +easier place. Then quite calmly, and boldly they come in and out, sit +in the rifled and broken tree or on the top of the fence to munch +their spoil and "cheek" the poor maid who goes out to expostulate; +and, the once zealous policeman steadily holding aloof (he has been +appealed to for succour a dozen times in vain), we have no redress, +except when we take the law into our own hands, which is an +unprofitable proceeding. One of my ex-schoolboys administers justice +occasionally, in a fashion to bring irate parents, and threats of +summonses for assault about his ears, but he cannot be in two places +at once, and his long absences from this place are calculated upon. As +for <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span>Bob, the current house-dog, a fox-terrier of some intelligence, +he behaves like a perfect idiot in this case. He will bark furiously +at the boys when ordered to do so, but will neither initiate the chase +nor follow it up with effective action. My idea is that he takes them +for permanent members of the establishment. Or "boys will be boys," he +thinks. Or he has seen me bribe them to come and ask for fruit, +instead of stealing it. Anyway the result is that we have no fruit for +ourselves. Year after year we see our trees blossom and the young crop +set and swell, knowing we shall gather no harvest beyond a few hard, +half-grown pears, which can be stewed soft. If I want to make quince +jelly, as now I do, I must buy the quinces.</p> + +<p>But in the country there were no thieves—no locks and bars in use—no +need for the policeman. The only raiders of the orchards were the +birds, who had the right to tax us.</p> + +<p>That town of W——, where we spent the first year of our Australian +life, was a typical country-town of the better class, and at that +period very lively and prosperous. The railway afterwards drained it +of much of its local importance, which has only revived again in quite +recent times—since the fat lands about it have become studded with +dairy-farms and butter and tobacco factories, industries and +population which have contrived to hold their own here and there +against the crushing discouragements to which both are subjected. +Within the last few months it has been made the seat of a bishopric.</p> + +<p>We found a highly-civilised society. The police magistrate at the head +of it—always a P.M. was at the head in those days, in the +country-towns big enough to have one, and not only by virtue of his +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span>official standing, but by every right of personal character and +culture, as a rule—was a (to me) surprisingly well bred as well as +kindly gentleman; and his wife was as nice as he. They gave bright +evening-parties, at which he played the flute with a delicate skill, +and he read largely and liked to talk of what he read; also he was an +exemplary husband and father. In the group of pleasant households his +was one of the most serenely pleasant, and so we felt it deeply when +one morning, a few months after our arrival, the news of his sudden +death was brought to us. He had risen that morning apparently in his +usual health, and was in his dressing-room, making his toilet and +chatting with his wife through the open door between them—she with a +baby a week or so old—when she heard him fall; he did not answer her +call to know what was the matter, and when she went to see she found +him dead upon the floor. The catastrophe left her with six little ones +to provide for, and next to nothing to do it with. The good husband +and father, taken without warning in his prime (of unsuspected heart +disease), had begun to make provision for the rainy day, but not +completed the task. However, with pupils and boarders and what not, +she made a splendid fight of it. The baby son did not long survive his +father, but the five daughters grew up to testify to her good +mothering and to reward her for it. They are now good mothers in their +turn, sharing her society between them.</p> + +<p>Next to the P.M. in the social scale came the doctors. There were two, +English gentlemen both. One had emigrated for adventure and the +goldfields, and spent good years seeking his fortune by short cuts, +but had been glad at last to return to his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>profession for a living. +He was courting a girl of exactly half his age when we came upon the +scene, and their wedding was the first smart function that we +attended. The other doctor and his wife were new arrivals from home, +like ourselves; they had landed but a month or two before us; and they +were our special and best-beloved companions and friends. Alas! he +too—one of the most delightful of men—died suddenly and dreadfully, +shortly before the death of the P.M., also leaving six mere babies and +a wife to whom he was perfectly devoted, as she to him. She came to +stay with me after the funeral, and the almost simultaneous birth of +my first child—the latter event hastened, it was thought, by the +shock and grief that I had shared with her. She was the most uncommon +woman I ever met, as she was one of the most adorable. Superficially, +both in face and figure, with the exception of her beautiful hands, +she was quite plain, and absolutely without trace of conscious +fascination or coquetry—the only instance I have known of a woman of +that sort being irresistible to every man she came across. The story +of her engagement, as told me by her husband, was exactly appropriate +to them both. He was leaving England for a foreign appointment, with +but a few days to spare, when a friend or relative—a high church +dignitary—wrote to beg a farewell visit, mentioning by way of special +inducement that a charming girl was staying in the house. The doctor +responded by falling in love with her on sight, in such a desperate +and successful manner that she married him within those few spare days +and accompanied him to his foreign appointment. Perfect love and bliss +had been their portion ever since; it was an ideal union. They had the +habit of driving up to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>our door, just as we were finishing dinner, +and calling us, one or both, to come out with them. The country was +new to us all, and we spent many of the evenings of our first summer +exploring it together. We made common cause as new chums, although +they were such citizens of the world as to feel at home anywhere. Even +the little ones in the nursery could put us to shame in respect of +their cosmopolitan experience. It filled me with envy to hear them +chattering their pretty baby French to their Swiss nurse. The mother +married again some years afterwards. And not a man of her acquaintance +but felt and said—as my own husband did—that the not-too-well-off +bachelor who saddled himself with the almost penniless widow and her +six children did by that act the best day's work for himself that he +had ever done or was likely to do. He, we have been told (for it is +many a year since she drifted out of our reach), followed the example +of his predecessor in marital behaviour—waiting on her hand and foot, +writing her letters and packing her trunks to save her trouble, and +generally worshipping the ground she walked on. That also is +considered matter of course. But I wonder how it is with her now? She +is living still, I hear. And she is considerably older than I am.</p> + +<p>Next to the doctors, the bankers—<i>i.e.</i>, the officials of the four or +five banks which have branches in every town of any importance. The +managers are handsomely housed, and live in the best Bush-town style; +they are really the backbone of country society, it being to the +interest of their employers that they should be popular with their +constituents, as well as to a man's own interest to make life pleasant +in a place where he may be settled for many years. The smart young +bank clerks are the natural <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span>complement of the young Bush-town ladies, +whose brothers always go away; the clerks will be managers in time, +and meanwhile are essential to the upkeep of tennis clubs and the +success of balls and picnics. In W——, in 1870-1, the bank people +were of very good quality—one household in particular, the heads of +which belonged to two substantial colonial families of high repute +(which they still enjoy); the lady here was a charming woman and +hostess, famous in local circles for her pleasant parties, for which I +frequently needed the evening dresses that I had supposed would be +superfluous. Indeed, with one thing and another, I was gayer in that +first year of "missionary" life than I had ever been in England.</p> + +<p>There were bazaars and church teas and such things—quite as exciting +as the private functions—at which our circle of friends and +acquaintances was augmented by the leading tradesfolk, between whose +class and that conventionally supposed to be above them the line of +demarcation is always very thin, sometimes scarcely perceptible—and +properly so, in these isolated communities. I keep in affectionate +remembrance the wife of a stationer who was like a mother to me, the +wife of a general storekeeper who often sat with me when I was lonely +and needed looking after, and the wife of a chemist with whom I was in +particular sympathy at the time. We sewed baby-clothes together, she +and I, and the wearers of them arrived in this world within an hour of +each other. My beloved first-born died at five years old; his +birth-mate at about twelve, I think. The gate by which he went seemed +awful enough, but the passing of the poor little girl was too dreadful +for words. She was coming home from a visit one day in the charge of a +friend: the creeks were flooded <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span>that they had to cross, and one of +them swept away horse and buggy, and drowned the driver. He hooked his +little companion to a branch or snag sticking out of the swirl, before +leaving her, as it was supposed, to swim ashore for help; there she +clung through the whole of the long night, from early evening to +daylight next morning, and was then found—warm, the breath just gone, +not more, the doctor said, than a few minutes too late. And there were +people living about the spot who testified that they had heard her +crying in the night, without knowing what the sound meant!</p> + +<p>And as for the cottage people—the marked thing about them was that +they were not "the poor." There was none with whom a clergyman or his +wife could safely take the liberties so customary at home. When a +sister-in-law, once my fellow district-visitor, came out to be our +guest for awhile, and started to make herself useful by teaching our +parishioners their duty on the traditional lines and by bestowing +doles of old clothes and kitchen scraps upon them, she got some +tremendous surprises—"insolence" that simply staggered her. No, what +they loved was to bring us little presents of new-laid eggs or poultry +or what not, and to charge us less than they charged the laity for +what they did for us in the way of business. The whole attitude of +parishes and lay people in this country towards their spiritual +pastors is benevolent to a degree. The parental spirit, tolerant, +indulgent, making allowances (in more senses than one), is here on +their side. The schools teach their children for half fees; the +doctors doctor them for no fees at all; the very shipping +companies—some, at least—make special fares for them. And so long as +they accept this rôle of the lame dog that needs helping over the +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span>stile, so long will there be that tinge of contempt and patronage +which embitters these favours to some of us who receive them.</p> + +<p>Coming straight from our dignified Cathedral life, with its high and +mighty Church-and-State traditions, into this democratic +Salem-Chapel-like atmosphere, we still found nothing to disagree with +us—only one circumstance excepted, for which neither the country nor +the parish was to blame. Pure loving-kindness and open-armed +hospitality to strangers surrounded us on all sides but one, and the +unexpected welcome went to our young hearts. The single disappointment +came from a quarter whence it was least expected. But, as to that, +bygones may be bygones at this time of day. I shall not tell tales.</p> + +<p>The absorbing joy, to start with, was the making of the first home. +The town was so well filled that it was a difficult matter to find a +house; we took the first possible one that offered, after waiting +several weeks for it.</p> + +<p>A large railway station now stands, and for many years has stood, upon +the site. Walking about the Bush in the vicinity, we used to find here +and there in the ground small pegs which we were informed were the +surveyors' marks for the line—the line which now runs all the way to +Sydney, and thence to Brisbane, but which was then but beginning to be +made.</p> + +<p>The spot was quite on the outskirts of the township, and we passed +from our premises straight into the Bush behind the house, which faced +some open waste ground, analogous to an English common of unusual +size, which divided us from streets and church. House, do I call it! +Three tiny rooms, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>opening one into the other, the first into the +outer air, a lean-to at the back, and a detached kitchen—that was +all. We paid one pound a week for it, which certainly was an excessive +rent for such a place. Excessive also were the wages we gave our first +servant, an amiable but inefficient Irish girl—fifteen shillings a +week. We were told that these were the ruling rates; if they were, +they did not long remain so.</p> + +<p>The landlord papered the front rooms for us—for those to be occupied +in day-time we chose from a local store an appropriate pattern of +brown <i>fleur-de-lys</i> on a green ground; we papered the back ourselves. +I made the drugget and matting floor-coverings, the chintz curtains, +the dimity bed-furniture—made everything, in fact, that was sewable, +for, fortunately, I come of a long line of good needle-women. When I +remember the time-honoured theory that a writing person is no good for +anything else, I feel obliged, at the risk of appearing a braggart, to +parade the above fact. I take pride in announcing that I never hired a +sewing-woman—that, having made all my own clothes as a girl, even to +the wedding-gown, I made all my children's, until the boys grew beyond +their sailor suits, and the girl put her hair up. In fact, housework +has all along been the business of life; novels have been squeezed +into the odd times. It was many a long year before I had a +dress-maker's dress, or went to such lengths of luxury and +extravagance as to order carpets or curtains to be made for me. I have +even manufactured sofas, with G.'s assistance, he making the very +solid hardwood frames. We once had two beautiful ones, regular +Chesterfields, entirely home-made, in one of the several auction sales +that the distance between one home and the next have forced <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span>upon us; +there was quite a rush to buy them. Only when the purchasers attempted +to take them away, it was found almost impossible to lift them from +the ground. The feather bed that had cradled me on board ship—we had +two really, but the smaller one cradled servants for awhile—now took +its permanent place amongst the never-failing comforts of the house; I +broke it up into pillows and cushions, a few of which covered, like +charity, all the sins of amateur workmanship in our springless +couches.</p> + +<p>The room of our cottage that had the front door in it was the +sitting-room, of course. Here we dined in full view of the street—had +there been one—when summer evenings gave light enough; our doctor and +his wife, pulling up their horses before the house, could see for +themselves whether we were at the end of our meal or in the middle; I +would go out with an offer of pudding or coffee sometimes, but as a +rule I left everything and flew for hat and gloves. The room at the +other end was our bedroom. The little cubicle between combined +dressing-room and study. There was not space to swing a cat in any of +them, had we wanted to swing a cat. There certainly was no room to +swing the cradle, when that article of furniture was introduced; +fortunately, we did not want to swing that either. We did not believe +in rockers, and made a great virtue of necessity when we took them +off.</p> + +<p>But after all, humble as it was, it was a sweet little place when we +had fixed it up. Bishop and Mrs Perry, paying us their first call, +were enthusiastic about it. They had been making a long tour from +country parsonage to country parsonage, which, notwithstanding the +benevolence of parishioners, are as a rule struggling homes, "shabby +genteel," in their <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span>appointments; and this bright, simple, tidy +(though I say it that shouldn't) little toy dwelling was, to use their +own word, an "oasis" amongst them. One truth that I have learned from +my manifold domestic vicissitudes is that you can make a nice home out +of anything, if you choose to try. You do not really want all the +things that you are brought up to think you want. Sometimes it is even +a relief to be without them.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER V<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>DIK</h4> +<br /> + +<p>All my recollections of the first home, and the one succeeding it, +embrace the figure of a friend who was virtually of the family while +we lived in them. He has so long been dead that I may with propriety +refer to him more fully than I can speak of his contemporaries yet +living, and it is a particular pleasure to do so in view of his +nationality and of the times in which I write. For he was a +Dutchman—and everything, almost, that a man should be. If he did no +good for himself in Australia—his birth and training were against +that—he did much for his country within the compass of his little +sphere. He gave some of us a faith in and a respect for it that +nothing in the South African struggle has been able to impair. I have +been British throughout the war to the marrow of my bones, but in the +worst of times have had to bear in mind that our veldt foe comes of +the stock which produced that perfect gentleman. I have not otherwise +compared them, but I can never think meanly of any Dutchman after +knowing him.</p> + +<p>He joined our ship in London, and during the voyage we noticed that he +was a lonely traveller, silent and sitting by himself. We therefore +made little overtures, thinking to cheer him for the moment, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>and not +foreseeing what they would lead to. G. played chess with him a good +deal; when I was well enough to join them I undertook the difficult +but interesting task of drawing him out of his shell, where his +thoughts were. Although we learned from him that a knowledge of the +English language was imperative in Holland amongst cultured people, it +needed friendship to cast out of him the fear of making himself +ridiculous by his manner of speaking it, which certainly was quaint. +Without protestations on either side, friendship was established, and +then he talked, and did not mind our laughing at him. We instructed +him in our idioms and customs, and he us in his; some of the Dutch +names for things that we learned from him are in domestic use to this +day. I cannot remember that he overcame his sensitive reserve in +respect of any other passenger, unless in the case of a childless +married lady who was accompanied by her pet cat and dog. Pussy lived +with her and her husband in their cabin, where the arrangements for +its accommodation, and the cat's own intelligent adaptation to them, +were so wonderful that it caused no annoyance either to them or us; +the dog, for whom a high passage fare had been paid, spent his nights +somewhere under the care of the butcher, but his days with his devoted +mistress. Dogs were a passion with our friend, and there was soon an +affectionate understanding between him and this one. He got permission +to give it lessons, and at stated times went off with it under his arm +to his own cabin, where they would be closeted together for an hour or +two. Not a sound would we hear of what went on, but at intervals there +was a public performance by the pupil, which, eye to eye with its +teacher, would go through tricks and evolutions that a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>circus dog +might envy. This was the only instance I can recall of social +intercourse on his part with anyone on board, save us.</p> + +<p>He was intensely proud, with a temper behind his pride that could +never be safely played with, even by his familiar housemates; life +itself was a trifle compared with any point of honour in his code—to +be given in its defence, if need were, without an instant's +hesitation; but there was not a trace of false pride in the whole warp +and woof of him. This, however, goes without saying, since I have +already said that he was at all points a gentleman.</p> + +<p>And, back of his reserve and pride, which wore so cold and stolid an +air, was a heart like a shut furnace. Rarely did the flame shine +through his grave eyes, but it did when the moment of threatened +parting came. "Tell me where you live," he said, as if asking for his +life; "I must live there."</p> + +<p>As soon as we knew, we told him, and a week after our arrival at W—— +he turned up, together with a pair of beautiful (and very expensive) +dogs. He boarded at the hotel, and came to us every day. And, so far +as Australia was concerned, we were his family, and our house his +home, thenceforth.</p> + +<p>His name was Diederik, which we shortened to Dik. His other name was +not undistinguished in his own country, as we learned from his family +photographs and the casual but complete evidence provided by the +conditions of our joint domestic life—not by direct statement from +him, the most modest of men. The picture of his home in Leyden showed +a beautiful old house on a tree-bordered canal; in this house, it +seemed, each member of the large family had his or her suite of rooms +and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span>separate personal servant. "This is a brother of me," he would +say, as we turned over his album; and questions would elicit the fact +that the person indicated held a court appointment at the Hague. +Another "brother of me" filled an important post in the Dutch East +Indies; he was governor—kontroleur 1st klasse—of Riouw. Dik was a +younger son, born with that bent for wandering which is not confined +to any class or nation. And his equipment for the enterprise to which +he had committed himself was almost ludicrously elaborate. He had a +perfect arsenal of deadly weapons—for the native savages and wild +beasts, I suppose. Guns and small arms of all sorts and sizes, the +finest of their kind, with tons of ammunition to match, enough to +furnish forth a small regiment. I still have a stumpy little +six-chambered revolver, which he insisted on my keeping by me, in case +I should be molested while alone in the house; and I ought to have +also a beautiful inlaid hair-trigger pistol, which was the instrument +with which he taught me the art of self-defence. Daily he would call +me from my sewing or cooking to shoot bottles off the yard fence, +until my execution upon ounce phials satisfied him that I was able to +protect myself from the marauding black or bushranger. He had a +tool-chest which contained every tool, and large sets of most of them, +that handicraftsman could need under any circumstances—even to a +turning-lathe, with which, and a great hunk of ivory tusk, he used to +make me buttons and sleeve-studs. As for "hempjes" and such things, +they were in dozens upon dozens. And all that costly outfit to be so +soon disintegrated and dispersed!</p> + +<p>The first thing he did at W—— was to help <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span>us into our cottage, +himself inheriting our lodgings and the quinces from us. How useful he +was! Until I had a maid—the last piece of furniture procured—he was +up o' mornings to chop wood, draw water, boil kettles, and so on; and +all day he was on the look-out for a job, the more menial the better. +Tears, even now, are not far from my eyes when I open my old diary +upon such items as these:—"October 31st. Dik beginning to make a +garden for me." ... "December 7th. Dik up in the dark to catch fish +for breakfast." ... "December 8th. Dik up early again to get me fish." +Whenever he was at home this sort of thing went on, and all without +the slightest fuss or gush, and with a frown for thanks. When there +came the prospect of a most important domestic event, we had every +reason to flatter ourselves that he had not the dimmest notion of it, +from first to last. I made every scrap of baby-clothes myself, and he, +being so constantly with us, must have seen me doing it; in fact, I +abandoned the usual precautions just because he seemed too utterly +dense to notice anything. He was nothing of the sort. It was part of +his perfect gentlemanliness not by word or sign to show that he knew, +even in his private talks with my husband, otherwise the talk of +brothers. One evening he left for his lodgings, as usual, and the +great business was comfortably disposed of before the hour of his +return in the morning. G. and I, in the midst of our excitements, +found a moment to laugh together over the tremendous shock of surprise +that we were going to give him. But lo! when he came he manifested no +surprise—only quite broke down in trying to express his thankfulness +that it was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span>safely over. He was brought in to peep at the new +arrival, and I felt like a scoffer at sacred things to have met with a +jest that smileless and speechless emotion. On leaving my room, he +dashed for his horse, tied to the front gate, and galloped off towards +the town; thence in a few minutes he returned, bearing as his offering +to the new master of the house a wicker cradle on the saddle before +him! He must have looked a ridiculous object, but was lifted above all +care for the opinion of the street. That was the cradle I had to wedge +into such a tight place that rockers were no use to it. Later it was +his joy to nurse the little one, to watch his first movements of +intelligence, and speculate as to what period "his nose would come +downstairs."</p> + +<p>I ought to mention here that his attitude towards women was one of +austerest respect and dignity. I shall never forget the blackness of +his brow and mood when we returned one night from a day's outing, +having left him to keep house for us. It appeared that our Irish maid +had taken advantage of the opportunity to make tender overtures to +him. She had come behind him as he was reading and smoking, stroked +his hair, and addressed him as a "poor feller." I was not supposed to +know anything of this, but got the tale from G., and was thus able to +take steps to prevent such assaults in future. To me, for whom he had +so deep a regard, Dik was a brother, without ever using a brother's +familiarities. No man ever treated me with such absolute reverence and +respect.</p> + +<p>Between the 30th of that first October, when he was making me a road +through the "common" <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span>that the continued rains had turned into a +swamp, and the 7th of December, when he went a-fishing for my +breakfast, he made a start upon his own Australian career—the bright +beginning that declined to so sad an end. By no fault of his, poor +boy! unless his breeding was his fault. He was young and +strong—immensely strong—the typical big-limbed, burly Dutchman, +eager to work and to rough it, afraid of nothing; he simply failed as +I have seen dozens of young men of good family fail—as they all do, +if I may judge by my own experience—who come out to make their +fortunes under the same conditions. Had he been a skilled mechanic, he +would have found his luck immediately; had he been prepared to pay his +premium as a "jackaroo"—<i>i.e.</i> an apprentice to the run-holder, who +charged £100 a year or so for imparting "colonial experience"—he +would have been taken into one of those delightful Bush-houses that I +have mentioned, and might have risen (without capital) to be a station +manager. But as an amateur who did not know the ropes, his ideas of +the situation gathered from books or evolved from his inner +consciousness, Dik fared as I shall describe. I give his case because, +in its way, it is so distinctly characteristic of the country, and as +such may be instructive to the English reader.</p> + +<p>Having received ourselves such extraordinary kindness and attentions +from the squatter families of our parish (hundreds of miles in area), +we thought it an easy thing to make interest for our friend; and so it +proved—to a certain extent, which did not go beyond the rough +regulations of the Bush, not yet grasped by such new chums as we. An +old squatter accepted our guarantee for <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span>Dik, and told us to send him +along. It was the busy shearing-season, when odd hands were required. +Joyfully we took home our news. Hopefully we borrowed a buggy, and +ourselves drove him to the house of that old squatter, nursing-father +that we imagined him. It was so far that we stayed the night, and we +thought it odd to lose sight of Dik as soon as we arrived, and not to +see him again to say good-bye; but we came away under the impression +that, when not out on the run, he would be treated by the house as it +treated us.</p> + +<p>He left W—— on the 10th of November. On the night of the 19th he +rode back, departing at dawn on the 21st, which means that he spent +Sunday, his free day, with us. He was invisible for a time, while G. +got him a bath and clean linen, and when he appeared he was taciturn +and depressed, loth to talk of his experiences, which had evidently +been a shock to him. Of course he had been sent to live at the "men's +hut" amongst the all-sorts that at shearing season crowd that +unsavoury abode. It was his place, but he had not known it; nor had +we; and I for one was furious at the outrage, as I considered it, that +had been put upon him. He had had fights, it appeared, with the lowest +of the low—possibly decent work fellows, who had not understood him; +he had come through personal foulnesses not to be mentioned in ladies' +company. G. told me all about it afterwards.</p> + +<p>On the 26th that job was done. He returned to us like a released +convict, and we made much of him for a time. This would not do, +however, and again he sought for employment. One night, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span>in a fit of +desperation at the delay in finding it, he took a sudden resolution to +go out into the Bush, with a swag on his saddle, and ask for work from +station to station, resigned to the men's hut—to anything. I remember +my feelings as I saw him start in the moonlight, just before I went to +my own comfortable bed. He was going to ride all the cool night, and +take his rest in the fiery day; for it was December now, and horses +and dogs were as children to Dik. By the way, he left his dogs with us +while on these expeditions. Their puppy exuberance got us into many +scrapes, although I do not believe that all the tattered fowls brought +to us by our neighbours, with hints that we should make their +excessive value good, came by their deaths as we were told they did. +Otherwise the keep of the playful creatures cost little or nothing, +because they were fed mainly upon opossums. Nightly, after dinner, the +gun or guns were taken out, and I don't know which enjoyed the +expedition most, the sportsmen or the dogs. There were 'possums in +every tree in those days, and Dik and G. were both good marksmen. When +too dark to distinguish 'possum or gun-barrel, they tied a white +handkerchief round the muzzle of the latter and located the former +(already approximately located by the dogs) with the stable-lantern +usually held up by me. An artificial light not only fascinates but +paralyses the little animal, draws him like a magnet, and then holds +him rigid, his large, liquid eyes fixed upon it, so that he is as +steady to shoot at as a target at the butts. Under those circumstances +he seems completely indifferent to his shrieking enemies at the foot +of the tree, ready to tear him in pieces the moment his limp body +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>thuds down to them. Although our valuable pair flourished upon it, I +am horrified now to think of feeding dogs upon such meat. Well, we +could not do it now, if we wanted to. At that time 'possums were +vermin to the white man, pests of the fruit garden (though we never +found them eating fruit, but only leaves), like the parrots and +minahs, from whom nothing was sacred. Not that they could have +troubled us, for all the fruit we had was a double row of peach trees +down one side of our back paddock. We had peaches of the finest +quality literally in tons—and nothing else. In their season I would +peel the flannel jackets from half a dozen before breakfast, and go on +eating them at intervals all day (whereby I destroyed my taste for +peaches, as it had already been destroyed for quinces, for the rest of +my life); and the ground was so cumbered with them that we were +grateful to the neighbours who came with buckets and wheelbarrows to +get them for their pigs. The railway absorbed the peach trees with the +cottage, and I buy peaches at the door to-day at a shilling the +plateful. And the opossum seems in a fair way to become extinct—at +any rate, in this state.</p> + +<p>I still go, almost yearly, to rest from town life a a station in the +neighbourhood of W——. The house—one of the first English-style +houses in the district—is the same that it was thirty years ago, +except that its red walls are mellower and its girdle of choice trees +more grown and beautiful; and the dear family is the same, only the +young ones now the elders, and a new generation in their place. On a +late visit they drove me to W——, some eighteen or twenty miles +distant; strange to say, it was the first time I had been into the +town since those early days <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span>of which I am talking, although I had +passed it many times on the railway; and we started on our journey +home in a soft twilight, prelude to a clear, faintly-moonlit +night—such a night as, thirty years earlier, would have shown us an +opossum in nearly every tree we drove by. It was country road or +bush-track all the way, and "Now, surely," I said, "I shall have the +long-desired pleasure of seeing a 'possum again." I settled down into +my front seat of the waggonette, laid my head back, and watched and +watched for little ears sticking up, and bushy tails hanging down, +which I should have been so quick to distinguish if they had been +there. Not a hair—not a sign that a 'possum had ever lived in the +land—all those lonely miles!</p> + +<p>But a few nights afterwards I had my wish in rather a strange way. +Being sleepless, I lit a candle at twelve or one o'clock, and tried to +tranquillise myself with a book. The candle made a little halo about +the bed, but left the rest of the room dim. One window was wide open, +as I always had it; an armchair, with a cushion in its back, stood +near the window. I heard no sound, but suddenly had that curious +feeling of fright which precedes the discovery of the thing that +frightens you; and, looking up, I saw two eyes, terrifyingly intense +in their expression, glowing and glaring at me from the armchair. The +thing crouched upon the top of the cushion, quite still, as if it had +been there for hours. I thought it was a cat, and shooed and slapped +my book; when it made no response to these manifestations, I knew it +was an oppossum. The candle-light outside had lured him to its source, +and he now sat lost in contemplation of the magic flame. I got out of +bed and ran window-wards, in the greatest haste to be rid of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span>the +creature I had so long wished to see; he crawled cringingly an inch or +two, but I had to push him with the edge of my book off the cushion +and the window-sill and out into the night. I could not imagine how he +had got in, for my room was in an upper storey of the tall old house, +the roof of the verandah some distance below; but, looking out in the +morning, I saw that a course of brickwork, just about wide enough for +a mouse, ran along the face of the wall, not far from the window, and +that a great white cedar tree stood close to one end of it. I boasted +at breakfast that I had seen a 'possum at last, but I am careful now, +when I sleep in that room, not to burn a midnight candle with the +window open.</p> + +<p>To return to Dik. On the 18th he came back to tell us he had found a +job. I do not remember what it was, but it is recorded in my diary +that we had a gala dinner in honour of it. He returned again before +breakfast on Christmas Day. G. had distant country services afternoon +and evening, and the three of us went together and made a picnic of +it, keeping our domestic festival for Boxing Day, in the night of +which Dik left us, while we slept. But on the 28th of January that job +also came to an end—not from any fault of his, but just because it +was a little one and he had finished it. The neighbourhood was +searched again, and he went work-hunting into New South Wales with no +success. He had long ago sold his horse, and now he began to sell his +other things—guns, tool-chest, lathe, non-essential clothes—throwing +them away one after the other, for a mere song, in spite of our +remonstrances. He left his lodgings for cheaper ones; later on we +persuaded him to exchange these for a shakedown with us; but he was +too proud to owe us bed and board, and only <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>stayed in the brief +intervals between his futile tramps, when he knew we should be cut to +the heart if he did not. It came to broken boots and ever-increasing +shabbiness, to the shunning and slighting of him by persons who were +not worthy to be named in the same breath with him, to his growing +gaunt for want of sufficient food. "This in your hospitable +Australia!" the reader may exclaim. Yes, indeed; and he is not the +only one I have seen thus circumstanced, by many—only the others were +mostly getting their deserts, which he was not.</p> + +<p>One night a mysterious message was brought to G., who slipped out of +the house in answer to it. It transpired later that Dik was lurking in +the vicinity wanting to know if there were any letters for him. He had +sent word secretly to G., not wishing me to know, because he was "not +fit to see her any more." Of course, I was not going to stand that. We +dragged him in, gave him a bath and clothes, fed him and talked to +him—scolded him well, indeed, for his obstinate refusal to write to +his father, a course that we had urged upon him until we were tired of +the hopeless conflict with his preposterous pride.</p> + +<p>However, he melted at last—that very night, I think. His confession +was made and posted, and all we had to do was to hold on until the +answer arrived. As it chanced, the only serious accident that I can +remember happening to a P. and O. steamer on the Australian line +(prior to the wreck of the <i>China</i>) happened to the one that had his +money on board. Her letters were recovered from the sea-bed, but not +in time to be of use to us; so there was yet another long delay. But +eventually all came right. His empty pockets were filled once more, +and a new career provided for him. He was to go to his <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>brother in the +Dutch East Indies, and become a planter of something.</p> + +<p>The change was so great and sudden that he did not all at once "know +how he had it with himself," to use his own phrase. He wrote to us +from Melbourne before he sailed (April 20th, 1872):—"You know me +enough for being a bad hand in making speeches. What I want to let you +feel is"—and he made a very touching one upon the subject of our +friendship for him. Then he mentioned his state of mind. "The time +passes quick away. At day-time I have plenty to do, and in the evening +I am in the opera, what makes me a little jolly, but yet there is a +kind of stupidity about me. I don't know what it is." From Galle he +wrote at length, and with his old ease, describing his voyage in +detail, and his fellow-passengers, of whom one was a wholesome +annoyance to him. "When you are talking with somebody he always will +put his nose between it, and the rest of the day he whistle tunes out +of operas." In Ceylon he made a sporting expedition into the country, +and "after you have seen so long the miserable Bush of Australia is +this beautiful." He had some delightful shooting, in spite of the fact +that, in consequence of having cut his feet against a "coral riff" +while swimming, "the only way I could go shooting was on a pair of +slippers." Then, with the Dutch mail from Singapore to Batavia:—"it +was very pleasant for me, as you understand, to hear the Dutch again. +Everything was so as it was at home, no more puddings on table, but +delicious vegetables, and the bitterjes like the home ones." And he +had once more that first thing necessary to a happy life, his dog; not +one of those mentioned, which remained with us, but a new one. On +landing at Batavia, "I give my hondtje a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>walk. This is a beautiful +creature, and came all the way good over. From Melbourne to Singapore +was it expensive. I had to pay five pounds for him." Here he met +Leyden friends, with whom he "passed the time jolly," and who led him +to a place where he "had to get a ticket to be able to stop in this +country;" and "the last days," he writes, "I feel me quite different, +more as I was at home, surely in better spirits as on our road to +Melbourne."</p> + +<p>His brother shepherded him for a short time—took him to a place or +two, from which, when they left, were "fired from shore canons"—but, +unfortunately, the resident was ordered home by his doctor, and Dik +was left once more to his own guidance. He presently reported himself +from Deli, where he was learning the business of a "nutmace" planter. +But his teacher, he was sorry to say, had turned out an "offel snob," +and he (Dik) had "little to make with him. I have my room and +everything I want and pay him monthly, and when he is in a bad humour +he can go his way and don't talk to him." When this gentleman "used +one of his rough expressions to me," wrote Dik, "I got offel angry"—I +can imagine it!—"and told him if he did so again he would know me +better. You understand a fellow who stand that in his own house what +he is. So you see I am not all right yet. But I am practising +patience, fine thing, but offel tiresome." Incidentally he remarks, "I +see you think I am sitting on Java, but am a good distance away from +there;" and he gives much interesting information about Dutch colonial +government and customs, which I have not space to reproduce. He wishes +he had an Australian horse again. "These little things I am tired of; +they are very pretty, but I am too heavy <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span>for them." He promises me a +tiger skin, and mentions the ever-to-be-regretted fact that he had +found "no occasion" to have his likeness taken.</p> + +<p>The next letter (Deli, March 20th, 1873) was all unclouded joy. He had +left "that fellow" and was now "as jolly as possible," settled down in +partnership with four other gentlemen of his own class, one Dutch and +three English—"so you see there is no fear I will forget my English +the first time." They had 250 "culies." "I have a field where 100 are +working, and go there and see them work every day, with Victor my dog, +named after Victoria ... so you see at last I come to a good place, +and hope to stick to this ... if I don't get along will be my own +fault."</p> + +<p>Glad indeed were we to read those words! We wrote to tell him so. And +the letter containing our congratulations came back to us long months +afterwards, with this message scrawled across the envelope:—"Dead. Mr +van K—— died in Deli."</p> + +<p>The last document of the little bundle from which these extracts are +taken is as graceful a piece of composition as was ever penned. The +handwriting is Dutch, but the words are English, and I have never read +an English letter that was more faultlessly expressed. It is his +family's acknowledgment of what we did—little enough, but made much +of in his home letters—for their beloved son, "to support his +energies in his days of trial." From this we learned that he had been +"seized with typhus fever, to which he succumbed on the 4th of June +1873, after ten or twelve days' illness."</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER VI<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE SECOND HOME</h4> +<br /> + +<p>On the 26th of July 1871 we moved into our second home—not more than +a mile or so from the first—Dik again helping us. The chance to get a +little more breathing-space and elbow-room, much needed since we had +become a family, fell to us through the death of our friend the police +magistrate. That sad event left his widow with means too small to +permit of her retaining her pretty home for a day after she was able +to leave it. We took it from her, and lived in it for about four +months—until G. was appointed to his first parish; after which our +house was provided for us, with no rent to pay any more.</p> + +<p>Distance lends enchantment to it, of course, but it is impossible that +"Como" could have been other than charming, with its then +surroundings. It had been the dwelling of two police magistrates, and +the first and longest occupier had made the place, while his wife had +been a gardener. My journal reeks of that garden. In the prime of the +spring season (October 12th) there is an entry which credits it with +"innumerable varieties of everything," including, naturally, "roses +all over the house" and "our own asparagus for dinner every other +day." The (even then) old house, masked with shrubs and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span>hedges, +surrounded by beds and borders full of sweets, turned its face upon a +wooded paddock, through which a path led out to the road; the ground +behind fell steeply to the "lake" so ambitiously named—a large +backwater of the river, preserved by the landlord (who allowed only +himself and his tenant to shoot over it), and therefore the sanctuary +of native aquatic fowl.</p> + +<p>That lake was the region of romance to me. The sunrises out of its +mists and shimmers, the moonbeams on its breast at night, that I used +to step out upon the terrace-like verandah to feast upon—they are +pictures of memory that can never fade. Flocks of black swans used to +sail past the kitchen door within reach not of a stone, but of a +potatoe peeling; early and late the air was full of the quick beat and +rush of wings—wild duck in hundreds and thousands going out or coming +home. They quacked and scuffled in the thick reeds at night, as we +walked near them. The two sportsmen could not resist the temptation to +shoot more than we could eat. I have it down in my diary that on the +28th of July 1871 G. killed three teal with one shot. I saw it done, +and it was no great feat, seeing that the little birds were so thick +that their flight at the moment was like the flutter of silver cloth. +In that watery time the lake was generally brimming. One night we were +called up by the bellowing of the cow, and Dik and G. rode naked into +the inclosure where her calf had been submerged to its nose by a +sudden rise; they were only just in time to save it. We had a roomy +boat, in almost constant use. A friend or two would come out to dine, +and after dinner we would paddle them about in the moonlight—explore +the "North-West Passage," which reminded me of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span>a "fleet" in the +Broads at home. We fished sometimes for next day's breakfast; I +believe they were catfish and other coarse things, but we seem to have +eaten them contentedly; I remember how we used to light a candle to +see to bait our hooks. And it was, of course, a very paradise for +'possums. So near the water they swarmed—water being no less +attractive to trees, which crowd upon it wherever they can find +footing. Under the trees around Como we and the dogs enjoyed such +'possum hunts as we never had elsewhere. It was mostly dark, and on +warm nights dangerous—though we never thought of that—snakes being +as partial to the water-side as 'possums and trees; many an one did we +encounter when looking for something else, and we have seen them +undulating in mid-stream like miniature sea-serpents.</p> + +<p>But a greater danger than snakes attended these expeditions, as we +discovered on a certain night (August 28th). The sportsmen were too +well trained to be careless with firearms, but when you carry them in +the dark through a thicket of saplings and stumps and prostrate logs, +accidents are liable to happen. On this night we were proceeding +Indian file, Dik leading, I next, G. protecting my rear, when Dik's +gun, carried muzzle down, touched an invisible snag, which jerked it +from his arm. In falling forward the trigger was struck or jagged with +sufficient force to explode the charge. I saw down the barrel as the +flame leaped out, apparently at my breast; and then we all stood still +for some seconds, expecting horrors. When nothing more happened, and +each was proved unhurt, we returned home very soberly, Dik himself +much shaken. I then went to my room, took off the thick shawl in which +I had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>wrapped myself against the night air, and held it up before a +light. It was riddled with little holes. I took it back to the +sitting-room, and spread it between Dik's eyes and the lamp, and made +some joke about his having tried to kill me. I never joked that way +again. He could not have felt it more deeply if he had really injured +me and done so on purpose. I don't think he ever got over it.</p> + +<p>It was at Como that I had my first private snake adventure. I was +giving my baby an airing in the garden when a call from the +maid-of-all-work sent me hurrying into the backyard. A deadly +six-footer (carefully measured afterwards) sat upon a few rings of its +tail near the wall of the little dairy—a most enticing place to +snakes—the rest of its body upreared to about the level of my waist, +its head, with the flickering tongue, distractedly darting to and fro. +I often worried about snakes when I could not see them; having this +one in the open before me, I was not in the least afraid of it.</p> + +<p>"You keep it there," said the girl—for there was no man on the place +at the time—"while I go and get the clothes' prop."</p> + +<p>For some minutes I stood within a few feet of it, the baby in my arms, +cutting it off from its lakeside lair; and it must have been my +formidable calmness which kept it from flinging itself upon me, as I +have seen other snakes do when thus desperately at bay, although they +will always wriggle out of a difficulty if a loop-hole is left to +them. We killed it with the clothes' prop and put it under an inverted +wash-tub, whence I proudly drew it in the evening when the doctor came +to dinner. I gave him the history of the execution, and he read me a +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>serious lecture. I promised him never to "hold up" a cornered snake +again.</p> + +<p>But if I let myself go with snake stories I shall not know where to +stop, so I will only tell one more, which has some features out of the +common. This snake lived in the church of G.'s first parish. Its hole +was visible to the congregation, and it used to show its head to them +in service time (during the sermon, probably) and make them nervous. +So it was sought to entice it to its destruction with saucers of milk. +The parson used to lay the bait over-night, and go to look for results +in the morning. Always the saucer was found empty, but for a long time +the snake was not found. At last he saw it coiled asleep upon the +white cloth laid over the chancel carpet, where the sun from the east +window poured warmly down upon it. So he hewed it in pieces before the +altar, as Samuel hewed Agag.</p> + +<p>What alarmed me much more, though with less cause, than snakes were +the blacks, which at that time wandered into one's life as they never +did afterwards. Some remnants of the river tribes remained about their +old haunts, apparently in their old state of independence. I had seen +them from the deck of the steamer, squatting on the banks in their +'possum skins, or fishing naked from a boat that was simply a sheet of +bark as torn from the tree; in W—— they trailed about the streets in +some of the garments of civilisation, grinning amiably at the white +residents, on the look-out for any trifles of tobacco or coppers that +a kindly eye might give hope of. They are hideous creatures, poor +things, and their attempts at European costume did not improve their +appearance. The most extraordinary human figure that I ever <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span>saw was a +black gin in a bird-cage crinoline. She had something else on, but not +much—only what would drape a small part of the lattice-work of steels +and tapes, through which her broad-footed spindle legs were visible, +strutting proudly. When I, being alone in the house, saw a black +fellow evidently making for it, I used to think of all the horrible +tales I had read in missionary magazines as a child, and wonder where +Dik's revolver was. He only wanted bacca, or an old rag of clothes, or +a penny, or a bit of meat—bacca first, always; and there was nothing +savage about him except his looks. Some of the stations in that +district made a point of protecting and showing kindness to the +blacks. On these they made their camps, and swarmed like the dogs +about the homesteads, bringing offerings of fish, and receiving all +sorts of indulgences in return. I visited at the one of those places +which was most notoriously benevolent in this direction. The gins +whose husbands had used the waddy to them used to come to the house to +have their wounds plastered; the nursing mothers got milk and other +privileges; some of the least lazy and dirty young ones were put into +the family's cast-off clothes and taken into a sort of service—given +little jobs of dish-washing and wood-chopping, for which they were +overpaid in such luxuries as they most valued. I was deeply interested +in seeing them at such close quarters, and studying their strange +habits and customs; it was a valuable and picturesque experience. But +there was not a lock or bolt on any door, and a half-witted black +woman who was a particular pet used to roam into my bedroom in the +middle of the night, to examine me, my baby, my clothes, my trinkets +on the dressing-table—which was too much of a good thing. When I +hinted as much to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span>the hospitable family, they used to say easily, +"Oh, she's quite harmless." But I never could get used to it. After +leaving W—— I saw little more of these disinherited ones, until many +years later a few visited us in the Western District. These were +refugees or escapees from a neighbouring Mission Settlement. Theirs +was a tale of tyranny and injustice to melt a heart of stone. They had +been compelled to sing and pray without getting any remuneration for +it. "Not a farden!" said one black man, solemnly, with a dramatic lift +and fall of the hands. "Not a farden!" I remember wondering how he had +come by the phrase, since I do not recollect ever seeing a farthing in +this country. The Australian despises a coin so petty. He treats it as +though it were not in the currency. To be sure, the tradesman charges +elevenpence three-farthings for many things, but an odd farthing on +the total of his bill always becomes a halfpenny.</p> + +<p>It was while living at Como that I "went to town" for the first and +last time in many years. There is a gap in my diary where the +happenings of November and December (1871) should have included this, +but memory easily retains the correct impression of such a sharply-cut +event.</p> + +<p>We made the trip in a ramshackle little open buggy, consisting of a +floor and two movable seats—a most useful country vehicle, upon which +you could cart firewood or potatoes, when it was not wanted to cart +human beings. We took a girl friend with us (the baby was left with +the visiting sister-in-law), and our three portmanteaux; and one poor +horse managed the journey in four or five days. We jogged along +easily, as near the making railway as we could get, because the scrub +had been cleared <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span>from that track more or less; camping in the shade +at mid-day to lunch and rest the horse, and putting up for the night +in a convenient township, taking our chances in the way of hotel +accommodation, which was of all sorts. Rarely could we bring ourselves +to make full use of the beds provided for us; we slept, as a rule, +outside of them, in blankets of our own improvising.</p> + +<p>When not far from Melbourne we fell in, towards evening, with the most +ferocious thunder-storm of my experience—and that is saying a great +deal. All we could do was to get ourselves and the horse away from the +trees and the buggy, over the tyres and metal work of which the +lightning ran like lighted spirit, and then stand doggedly—the horse +with head and tail between his legs, we three tightly clasped +together, our faces turned inward and hidden—and silently endure +until the fury of the elements was past. When it was passed, and we +drove drenched and dripping to the nearest hotel, which fussed over us +with fires and hot drinks, it was found that my little portmanteau +(frocks folded close in those days) had been put into the buggy that +morning wrong side up. The deluging rain, running inside the flap, had +saturated all my best clothes! My wedding-dress was done for; my next +best gory all over with the dye from cerise ribbons that had lain next +it; muslins and laces a flimsy pulp. And the ruin was irremediable, +except in the case of the latter (I sent the two silks to be dyed +black, and they were returned after some months stiff and crackly, so +obviously dyed that they were no use as frocks again). Literally, I +had not a stitch to wear. My companion lent me clothes while my +travelling things were drying, and when I got to Melbourne I could +hardly put my <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span>nose out of doors. Instead of enjoying myself with my +friends, I had to scheme to hide myself from them—the only thing to +be done, since I could not afford to repair my losses on the spot. As +soon as G. had done his necessary business, we turned round and came +home again.</p> + +<p>We brought back with us the widow of that police magistrate who had +dropped dead in his dressing-room at Como, and her baby. And we had +the hottest of midsummer weather, and the fiercest of north winds. The +tracks were deep in dust like sea-shore sand; our faces were skinned +with the sun; we wilted on the hard buggy seats under our useless +umbrellas; the poor horse gave up, and had to be left by the way. But +all our concern was for the unfortunate infant. Whenever we came to +sheltered water we used to get down and lay him in; we carried bottles +of it with us to pour over him as we drove. We spent one night in a +red-hot corrugated-iron hotel, and his mother and I sat up through the +whole of it, taking turns at sponging him. He came through safely, +although she lost him afterwards—her only son.</p> + +<p>That abortive expedition was, as I have said, the last I made to +Melbourne for a very long time. The Bush "township" became my world. +When I speak of the Bush, it is understood that I do not mean a place +of bushes. The term, with us, is equivalent to "the country"—the +country generally, though particularly and originally its uncultivated +parts. "The miserable Bush of Australia," poor Dik called it, and it +has that character with many, I know; but—save, perhaps, at the first +glance—it never struck me that way. In the exquisite lights, the +clear distances, the fine atmosphere of this climate, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span>Nature has to +be beautiful, whatever she wears. I love her in this grey-green +gown—and I have been a bushwoman for twenty-three years in all. The +trouble is, of course, that man, who does not live by bread alone, +lives still less on scenery.</p> + +<p>We did not really settle down in W——. Life there was difficult and +worrying on the professional side, and with every passing week we +longed more to extricate ourselves from a position that we had seen at +the beginning to be without promise of comfort or success. But on the +social, the secular, side, we had nothing to complain of. We had not +begun to miss the things we were cut off from, and the new experiences +were delightful. So also with the domestic conditions. It was here +that I mastered the rudiments of Bush housekeeping, and no lessons +were ever more interesting.</p> + +<p>I may say, at once, of my Bush life that, from the housekeeper's point +of view, it has been full of comfort—always. This is, I suppose, +chiefly because I have never had that servant trouble which seems to +keep families in general in constant distress and turmoil. The Irish +girl who took liberties with Dik was otherwise a willing and likeable +person; the vinegary widow who followed her, and who, being the mother +of a boy of twelve, made me put her down in the census paper as aged +twenty-five, would have been considered an excellent servant in the +most proper English household; and so would her successor, a smart +lady who went to church o' Sundays in silks and velvets, and drank all +our spirituous liquors that she could lay her hands on. And these were +the slight, very slight, mistakes at the beginning. Since then I have +had virtually unbroken peace. I have never had to "look for a girl," +never been to a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span>registry office, never wanted for the best. And I +have never yet met the missus who could say the same. I have my own +opinions on this servant question. They may be heterodox, but they +work out all right, which is the main thing. The proof of the pudding +is in the eating. At the same time I know that I have had exceptional +luck. The dear servants and friends who did so much to make my life +happy were born good.</p> + +<p>One devoted nurse who was with me for many years postponed a fixed +wedding-day three times, rather than leave me when she thought I +needed her more than usual. "No," she said, inexorably, when I +remonstrated with her on behalf of her poor young man, "I am going to +see you better first." On the last occasion it was:—"I am not going +to let you have the trouble of moving with only strangers to help you. +I shall see you settled first." She married from the house at last, so +collapsed with grief over the parting that she could not touch the +wedding-breakfast we had prepared. The bridegroom sat about forlornly, +while I struggled to rally her with brandy and water and (when I dared +not give her more of that) tea; and she drove away with the cake whole +in her box, drowned in tears. She was a strong-minded woman too, who +as a rule never "gave way," whatever the rest of us did.</p> + +<p>Another long-service paragon, an Irish woman with a warm temper, could +not get on with the lady-helps—sub-housekeepers during the years that +I had no health to speak of. "No, ma'am," she said, when their +disputes were brought before me, "I'll do anything for you, but I +won't take orders from a person who's no better than I am." Although +servants like <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span>her were precious rarities, and lady-helps a drug in +the market, I felt bound to stand by my representative—the +intermediary whose position is always difficult; and so the result +would be that the other got a week's notice there and then. It made no +difference. She stayed on just the same, although I did not ask her. +They all stayed on—only leaving us to be married, or owing to family +circumstances over which they had no control. The present incumbent of +the kitchen has occupied it for nearly nine years.</p> + +<p>Living, <i>i.e.</i>, feeding, in Australia is proverbially good, although +the cooking is often unworthy of the material. Few in the land are, +perhaps I should say were, they who do (or did) not sit down to a meat +meal three times a day. Fruit that in England was nursed in +orchard-houses and counted on south walls we could batten on now; a +few pence would heap the sideboard with grapes or apricots, but all +was so plentiful that it generally cost us nothing. Wine was not what +it is now, and we could not at once break ourselves of our English +beer; but it was not long before we learned to prefer the product of +the local vineyards, to which we shall remain faithful to our lives' +end. We got it, as we do still, in large stone jars, at less than the +price of Bass or Guinness. With a poultry yard and a cow, and John +Chinaman's vegetables, even a poor parson could live like a prince.</p> + +<p>Two or three times a week, regular as clockwork, "John" came to the +back door with his loaded baskets of the vegetables in season, fresh +and good, various and cheap. Europeans had not the patience to grow +them where they had so many enemies; it did not pay to do it, while he +did it for us on such <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span>terms; it has been so all these years, and is +so still. You will hardly find a private kitchen garden, except on the +isolated stations, where the gardener is nearly always a Chinaman. +Every little township depends, for the food it can least afford to do +without, on the industry of this man who, of all others, is the most +despised in the community, and of all others—tradesmen, at any +rate—is the most reliable. I never was cheated, or in any way "let +in," by a Chinaman, and never found him discourteous or disobliging. +Those who clamour for his extinction from amongst us do not realise +what country folk would miss if he were gone.</p> + +<p>Poor John Chinaman! so industrious, so frugal, so inoffensive and +law-abiding—an example to the white citizen of his class—if ever I +feel ashamed of Australia it is on his account. Its treatment of him, +who seems to have no friend amongst the nations, is indeed a strange +satire upon the traditions of the British race. One can see a certain +reasonableness in the poll tax of £50, hard as it seems that one only +of the various aliens amongst us should be thus penalised (and for his +industry too); it is, doubtless, advisable that we should prevent +ourselves from being over-run (seeing that the earth is <i>not</i> for +all); but the law which constitutes one Chinaman a factory is worthy +of the Dark Ages, simply. Here is a sample of the sort of thing that +Englishmen, with the Union Jack over their heads, can read in their +newspapers of a morning as calmly as they read reports on the +weather:—</p> + +<p>"Hop Lee, who keeps a laundry in Gertrude Street, was charged at the +Fitzroy Police Court this morning with having worked after hours on +Saturday, the 26th January, contrary to the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>provisions of the Shops +and Factories Act. Constable P—— deposed that about 5.30 <span class="fakesc">P.M.</span> on the +day named he went into defendant's premises and found him ironing +collars. In September 1899 the defendant was fined for a similar +offence. As £5 is the minimum penalty for a second conviction, Hop Lee +was mulcted in that amount and ordered to pay £1, 1s. costs.</p> + +<p>"Sam Pittee, who also keeps a laundry in Gertrude Street, was then +charged with a similar offence, also on the afternoon of the 26th +January. The defendant having pleaded guilty, the Bench inflicted a +fine of £1, with £1, 1s. costs."</p> + +<p>These are not men employing hands, but poor cottage workers "on their +own"; and the police—who cannot take them up for brawling, or +thieving, or woman-beating—because they don't do such things—watch +and spy, as perhaps is their duty, to see that they sit with their +hands before them through all the cool hours, while the wash that +customers may be clamouring for lies about them undone. One poor +Chinaman was arrested and fined for—according to his defence in +court, which it appeared was not listened to—ironing his own shirt +out of factory hours. And when candidates for the Federal Senate and +House of Representatives were making their stump speeches, a +"Reverend" gentleman amongst them, now a M.H.R., shouted these words +to his electors (to be quoted almost without comment in the papers +next morning):—"Chinese should be either pole-axed or poll-taxed in +such a manner as would make the country too hot for them."</p> + +<p>Ah, poor country! By the mouths of dozens <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span>of her most patriotic +children I have heard her sigh for the old days (before my time) when +a deputy of the Crown and a few soldiers and policemen were all her +Government. And no wonder.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER VII<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE THIRD HOME</h4> +<br /> + +<p>On the 1st of January 1872 G. ceased to be a curate. On the 4th—and +with thankfulness, I must confess—we left W—— for our own first +parish.</p> + +<p>It comes back to me, as if it were yesterday, the departure from Como. +One of the numerous kind friends who seemed sorry to part with us lent +us a roomy buggy, into which we packed many things besides +ourselves—the small treasures of the house that we did not like to +entrust to the waggons sent on before us with our modest stock of +furniture. The last offerings of fruit and flowers being stowed on the +top of these, the last good-byes said, we set off at a quiet pace, and +took the whole day to the journey. It was all Bush track amongst the +hills, and the weather, for midsummer, was kind. Twice we made a camp +in a shady spot, sprawled on the grass while the horse grazed and the +billy boiled, and ate our picnic meal luxuriously; and for miles we +walked beside and around the buggy, fern hunting and curiosity +gathering on behalf of the sister-in-law, whose main interest in +Australia was centred in these things. It was our intention to make a +holiday of the occasion, and we carried the intention out. But, oh, +how tired we were when at last we <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span>sighted our destination! That is +the moment that I remember best, when we crawled down that break-neck +"gap" which was the gateway to our valley, and saw across it on the +other side, sitting on a soft slope, with a great blue mountain behind +it, the little stone church and parsonage-house which were our bourne. +In pity for our worn-out horse, we three elders were afoot, hobbling +stiffly and uttering involuntary moans of exhaustion; only the dear +baby, from whom we had not had a cry, lay fast asleep in the bottom of +the buggy, in no way upset by his adventures.</p> + +<p>The picture is before me now, bathed in the last lights of the summer +day. It is one of the most beautiful that Australia can show. A +newly-arrived bishop, being in the same spot as we were, and also for +the first time, said he could not understand how we, having been +privileged to live in such a place, had voluntarily left it! for we +had left it then, because, as we reminded him, man needs more than +scenery to satisfy him in this world. The little township nests in its +fertile valley, and from the top of the gap you look down upon it and +see no prosaic details, only that it is in itself a detail, completing +the charm of the natural scene, the scheme of colour of which the +lovely mountain blue is the dominant note—that blue which flames +celestial pink in parts when the sun goes down. An awful trap to the +amateur Jehu was that gap in those days; we realise it now far better +than we did then. A metalled road, cut out of the hillsides and +fenced, now winds through it, but it still calls for a good driver and +a strong brake. We used to blunder down it, as down a wrecked +staircase, in the darkest nights, and think nothing of it; no, +although we <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span>were shown the spot where a coach, whose horses missed +their footing, was hurled down the ravine to utter smithereens with +all hands. The fact was that in those days and in that part of the +country we had to do these foolhardy things all the time, or we should +never have got about at all. When confronted with a tight place—a +gully almost as steep as a house wall, or a river which was +continually changing its soon-washed-out crossing-place, without +putting up a guide post—we just "started in" and chanced it. It was +the custom of the country, and the custom which made its drivers what +they are, skilful and fearless beyond any in the world, unless we +except the Americans, who built the vehicles that we used, the only +sort capable of such use as we put them to. I do not remember that we +worried in the least over the dangers to life and limb that we saw +quite plainly before us; we were too well used to them. Now, when we +recall our exploits, we tell each other that nothing would induce us +to repeat them.</p> + +<p>Descending the Gap for the first time G. led the Bush-horse, which was +an old stager if we were not, calmly taking things as they came; and +the Bush harness, on which life so often depends, was equal to its +responsibilities (the owner was to be trusted to see to that). So we +arrived safely at the door of what looked like the principal inn—the +place and we were as yet strangers to each other—and there we camped +for the night. Beds were our crying need. Everything else had to wait +until sleep had recruited us. We were fairly dead beat.</p> + +<p>But next morning we were all alive and vigorous again, in a fever of +impatience to get home—completely home. The vans with our furniture +had not <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>arrived; the parsonage was shut and empty; we had designedly +kept ourselves and our movements unannounced, so there was no one to +show us the way about. Still, we lost not a moment after breakfast in +getting the buggy re-packed, getting the keys of the house and church, +and driving thither—through the tiny town, over the bridge spanning +the willowy creek, and up the hilly road—firmly resolved to sit down +by our own hearthstone forthwith, for good and all. But we always did +that. In all our movings and re-furnishings, the first proceeding was +to go in ourselves; a shakedown and something to eat, and we set to +work from the centre and not from the outside. It is far the best way. +And if there is one thing I love more than another it is the whole +process of shifting camp—odd as I am sure it must appear: I grudge to +miss a bit of it.</p> + +<p>What a morning we had! Although the vans had not come, there was +plenty to do in examining the premises, planning out rooms, and +utilising the contents of the buggy, now put up, with the horse, in +our own good brick stables. We were charmed with our house, which was +nearly new and very complete in its appointments. Its walls of dressed +granite made it very sound and cool; it was papered and painted as +well as it could be, and the garden and young orchard were laid out +with the same care to have all of the best; while its situation was +almost unmatchable. The outlook from the French windows and the +verandah outside them down the valley of the town to the Gap beyond, +and backwards to the blue range behind, was one of ever-changing but +constant beauty; none of our eight Australian homes had a lovelier +setting. The brilliance and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span>purity of the mountain air enhanced the +complexion of it all, as well as the healthful capacity of the seeing +eye. Down that grassy slope to the front gate big bushes of spiræa +billowed in the spring; their overlapping wreaths were enormous; their +masses of white gleamed right across the valley, visible from the Gap +road. Everything one planted seemed to flourish there, and +particularly the vineyards on some of the hillsides. Fine wines went +out from that little town, to win medals and honourable mentions at +the industrial exhibitions of the world. The manufacturer combined the +professions of vigneron and doctor—in our time the only doctor for +many miles around. He was a German gentleman who had left his country +to escape some difficulty connected with military service, and was +debarred from returning thither by the knowledge that he would thereby +land himself in a fortress. Not that he had any hankerings for the +Fatherland; he might have been born where we found him, so attached +was he to his little town and the interests he had gathered about him; +he lived there for over forty years, I believe, and is buried there, +in the hill cemetery above our old home. Cut off as he seemed to be +from the intellectual world, he yet kept touch with it; with all the +work of his practice and his wine-making, he found time for scientific +studies, not reading only, but writing for magazines and newspapers; +and his active mind was absolutely free and fearless. Of course he +never came to church—his English wife did—but that made no +difference in the relations between us. No one was more welcome to the +house than he, and his company was the salt that gave savour to the +social life of the out-of-the-way little place. In his old <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span>age he +became an ardent spiritualist, much to my surprise and puzzlement, and +he died in that faith. His death was described to me by the doctor who +attended him, a mutual friend. The good old man was seized with +something which his medical knowledge told him must prove fatal within +a given number of hours. He made no fuss or bother about it, and +allowed no one else to do so, but chatted cheerfully with his +colleague until speech failed him, with no more emotion than if he was +preparing to go to bed and to sleep as usual.</p> + +<p>His vineyards—doubled and quadrupled as time went on—were carved out +of virgin Bush, and that Bush was a paradise for wild flowers and +ferns. From creek gullies close by I used to gather armfuls of +maiden-hair for church decoration, some fronds of which, measured on +the dining-room table, spanned the whole width from side to side. One +Christmas Eve I made the church a bower of it; every window was veiled +in the green lace. Unfortunately, it was withered by morning—the +usual condition of church decorations, on the actual day of festival, +in this country.</p> + +<p>The church, which we also rummaged over without loss of time, was of a +piece with the house. Here we found the same careful arrangements and +completeness of equipment, the lack of which in other colonial +churches had so much surprised us, coming to them with our English +eyes and notions; the stamp of the mind and quality of the first +incumbent was plain in every direction (he was an Oxford man, +expatriated for his health). A year or two ago I was there again; it +and the house had faded and been neglected, and I was struck by the +unexpected smallness of them both; but even then they <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>were a pleasant +contrast to those at W——, as they were in '72. And regarding the +beauty of their situation, I found that memory had played no tricks +with the records.</p> + +<p>In the middle of our rummagings we realised that we were starving. +That air was the hungriest we had ever breathed, and we had no food +with us except the baby's. G. was despatched on a foraging expedition +to the town, and presently returned with bread, butter, cheese, beer, +meat, and a frying pan, together with smaller trifles, all in his own +arms and pockets—for he never minds what he carries or where he +carries it—the sister-in-law and I having prepared a fire in his +absence. Shortly afterwards we enjoyed the meal which stands out amid +the records of the past as <i>the</i> meal of my life—my only excuse for +mentioning it. Soon the parish woke up to the fact of our presence in +its midst, and invitations and offers of assistance poured in upon us; +but I am always pleased to think that we got that wonderful scratch +lunch first. It is a delicious memory.</p> + +<p>The vans came, and we settled ourselves. I find an entry in my journal +for February 10th (1873), "G. and I making a dining-table." And, three +days later, "G. and I making a sideboard." We must have done these +things, or they would not be set down, but how we did them, and with +what result, I have no recollection, although the two sofas, also made +for this house, are as plain to the mind's eye as they ever were. We +could buy furniture at the shops—"stores" we called them—of our +little town; bullock drays, that took weeks to do the journey from +Melbourne, kept us regularly supplied with all necessary goods; so +that the explanation <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span>of our various dabblings in the art of cabinet +making will at once occur to the reader. We had expended the capital +of £50 with which we started housekeeping, and, if I remember rightly, +the parson's stipend did not exceed £250 per annum. In a parish of the +dimensions of this one, horses (as distinct from a horse) were +indispensable, and they had to be fed and shod. A buggy (second hand) +and a piano (on time payment) were here added to the establishment; +likewise a second baby and a nurse-girl. To make ends meet, and at the +same time to have things as one wished—nay, as one was determined—to +have them, considerable ingenuity and invention were required. I +flatter myself that we did well, considering our youth, and that we +were new to the conditions in which we found ourselves; but still we +had to learn experience in many directions at an unexpected cost in +cash. It is extraordinary how quickly money melts in Australia, +compared with what it does at home. The reason is not that living is +dearer, but that the ways of this country are so lavish and +free-handed.</p> + +<p>It was about this year (1873) that I began to write for the +<i>Australasian</i>—trifling little papers, at long intervals—not because +I found any fascination in such work to dispute the claims of the +house and family, but to add something to the family resources when +they threatened to give out. I had no time for more, until one day the +editor of the <i>Australasian</i> wrote to inquire what had become of me +and my contributions, when it occurred to me that it might be worth +while to make time.</p> + +<p>The Sunday school was at the further end of the township—it was the +common school on week-days—and I used to rush thither morning and +afternoon <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span>on Sundays, and return breathless to attend to my baby and +play the (American) organ in church. I trained the choir, visited +every parishioner within reach, did all that hard work unfairly +demanded of the parson's wife under these democratic systems of church +government; besides the multifarious work at home—making and mending, +cooking and nursing, and, as it appears, building sideboards and +dining-tables. Moreover, the Free and Compulsory Education Act had +come into force (January 1873), and as the State had to be satisfied +that our little nursemaid, who was within school age, was being +educated according to law, I charged myself with this job also, rather +than lose her services for the greater part of the day. And I may add +that the baby in arms was rarely trusted to this functionary, except +for airings in the garden under my eye. All other attentions that it +required I gave myself. So there was enough occupation for one +not-over-robust woman, without the addition of literary work.</p> + +<p>Touching upon this matter, I am reminded of a conversation that I had +with Bishop Perry soon after our arrival. It was not the hardships of +the clergy that troubled him, he said, but the killing strain upon +their wives—literally killing, for he quoted figures to show the +disproportionately high rate of sickness and untimely death amongst +them. I rather think I have heard Bishop Moorhouse express himself to +the same effect. Certainly my own long and intimate acquaintance with +the subject leaves me in no doubt as to which of the clerical pair is +in the shafts and which in the lead. It is not the parson who, to use +the phrase so often in his mouth, bears the burden and heat of the +day, but the uncomplaining drudge who backs him at all points, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span>and +too often makes him selfish and idle by her readiness to do his work +as well as her own. Under colonial and "disestablished" conditions, he +is not largely representative of the class from which our home clergy +are drawn; as a general rule he comes from that which, while as good +as another in many ways, and perhaps better in some, is not bred to +the chivalrous view of women and wives—regards them, that is to say, +as intended for no other purpose than to wait upon men and husbands. +The customs of the profession accord so well with this idea that it is +not surprising to find a pious man killing his wife by inches without +having the slightest notion that he is doing so.</p> + +<p>Amongst my colleagues of those days was a lady of exceptional culture +and refinement. Her husband, a Bush clergyman like my own, was poor, +of course, and they averaged a baby a year until the baker's dozen was +reached, if not passed. The way she "kept" this family was such that I +never saw a dirty child or a soiled table-cloth or a slatternly touch +of any sort in her house. She taught the children as they grew old +enough; I know that she did scrubbing and washing with her own hands. +In addition, she did "the parish work."</p> + +<p>One day, when she was run down and worn out, her husband told her that +the organist, from some cause, was not forthcoming, and there was no +time to procure a substitute. "So, my dear, you will have to play for +us." He knew that she could do it, for she had often done it before; +it was the merest trifle of a task, compared with those she hourly +struggled with; but it was the one straw too many that breaks the +over-loaded back. She looked at him in silence for a moment, flung out +her arms <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span>wildly, and, exclaiming "I can do no more!" went mad upon +the spot. She had to be put into an asylum, and the parish and the +husband and the growing young ones had to do the best they could +without her. The husband, I may say, was—apart from being the +inadvertent accomplice of the parish in her destruction—one of the +very best of husbands and of men.</p> + +<p>Only the other day I attended a gathering of the friends of a lady to +whose loved memory it was desired to raise some public monument. She, +lately dead, had been our bishop's wife, and so the meeting was +appropriately presided over by dignitaries of the Church. They stood +up, one after another, to air their views. "I propose," said a worthy +canon, with the most matter-of-fact air in the world, "that every +clergyman's wife be a collector for the fund"—of course. I heard a +sigh and a <i>sotto-voce</i> ejaculation behind me—"the poor clergymen's +wives!"—and the incident exactly shows how their male belongings +treat them.</p> + +<p>I, however, have not been a victim. Before I was willing myself to +lighten the double strain, I was compelled to do so, and the +parish—as well as all succeeding parishes—had to put up with it. But +very early in the day I evolved opinions of my own as to the right of +parishes to exact tributes of service from private individuals in no +way bound to give them. And I came to a conclusion, which I have never +since seen reason to alter, that the less a clergyman's wife meddles +with her husband's business (except between themselves) the better, +not only for her but for all parties. After I could plead the claims +of a profession of my own, my position in the scheme of things was +finally and comfortably defined. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span>Parishes, like clerical husbands, +when they tyrannise, do it unconsciously, from want of thought, and +not from want of heart. At any rate, my parish, for the time being, +never, so far as I can see, bears me any malice for my desertion of +the female-curate's post, but quite the contrary. For whereas we +should be sure to chafe each other if forced into an unnatural and +uncongenial relationship, we are now the best of neighbours and +mutually-respecting friends.</p> + +<p>Having been a fervid young churchwoman at home, where I +district-visited in the most exemplary manner, with tracts and +soup-tickets and all the rest of it, for my own pleasure, parish work, +when it became my business, was not at all irksome as such. And there +was one part of it which was a source of great enjoyment during the +three years that we lived in Y——.</p> + +<p>It was the training of the choir. At first, with much nervousness and +diffidence, I taught hymns and chants for an hour a week, and played +them at the Sunday services in the midst of my little band, which had +never conceived of higher flights. But ambition was generated in us as +we warmed to our work. Recruits arrived from far and near, some of +whom could read music, and we spread ourselves in an occasional +anthem. There have been, and are, many thousands of choirs as pleased +with themselves as we were, but never was there one more harmonious, +in every sense of the word. To the best of my recollection we never +had a tiff, and such was the attraction of our meetings that no +weather—rain, storm, mud, darkness—could keep away the men (some of +them quite elderly), who had to tramp miles through the Bush, after a +hard day's work, to attend them. Especially in the winter.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>For when winter came, and the church was cold, I had the practices in +the house, with piano accompaniment. The bright log fire—firewood is +the one thing we have always been extravagant in, on principle—and +the much-pillowed amateur sofa, and the chairs collected from the +general stock and grouped invitingly, made the homely drawing-room a +good, thawing sort of place for the storm-buffeted to come to and to +sing in. Most carefully were wet wraps and umbrellas left outside, and +boots rubbed and scrubbed on door-mats; and never did an evening-party +show itself better bred. For that is what the choir practice came +to—a "musical evening" once a week. We fell into the habit of +clearing off the chants and hymns rather hastily, and devoting the +bulk of our ever-extending time to experiments in the higher forms of +part-singing. We were not experts, any of us, but we made up in +enthusiasm what we lacked in knowledge, and ended by so distinguishing +ourselves that the fame of our performances has not died out in the +district yet. For although on pleasure bent, we kept an eye to +business, and selected music with the secondary view of getting +anthems out of it eventually. Our great achievement was Mozart's +Twelfth Mass. It took us a long time, but we fumbled through it from +beginning to end. And then we astonished the congregation with +"Glorious is Thy Name," and "Praise the Lord, for He is Gracious," and +other classic gems, as we got them perfectly.</p> + +<p>It was my first attempt at choir-leading and—which I am sure is a +very good thing for my reputation—the last. Thenceforth the parson +wielded the baton. The choir that now is, which could sing the Twelfth +Mass straight off as easily as look at it, if it <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span>had never seen the +thing before, would feel insulted at any comparison between their work +and ours; but often, when I am listening to the evening anthem, the +notes of those old voices, so fervid and sincere, float back upon the +tide of memory from those old days, with a heart-melting power that +these finished performances will never possess, for me.</p> + +<p>A year or two ago G. was escorting me to my seat in the cathedral +through a crowd pressing into the building to some special function—I +forget what—and he was accosted by a fine-looking grey-bearded +gentleman, with a lady on his arm. "You don't know who that is," said +G., turning to me. I looked, and knew—one of those men who used to +walk so far o' nights to attend choir practice, after working at his +mine all day—seven-or eight-and-twenty years before. We clasped hands +with some emotion and looked at each other, and the question that +sprang to our eyes was, "Do you remember the Twelfth Mass?" It was as +plain as print to both of us. Then we were swept apart before I could +learn where he was living, or anything about him, except that the lady +on his arm was his daughter.</p> + +<p>I hope many more have survived and prospered, and that they will read +these words so as to know how I remember them.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER VIII<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE MURRAY JOURNEY</h4> +<br /> + +<p>This parish, although sparsely populated, was enormous in size; it +stretched out in one direction more than a hundred miles as the crow +flies. And when G. went that way he rode with a fat valise on the +saddle and did not return under a fortnight, during which time we were +unable to communicate with each other. It was the nearest thing to +being a missionary that he ever came to. There are roads and thriving +townships along that route now; in our time it was the wildest +Bush-track, about which lay the homesteads of the pioneer squatters, +at a day's journey one from another. These good men used to welcome +warmly the infrequent parson, round up their hands for service in +dining-room or wool-shed, fetch in the babies born since the last +visitation, and any candidates for matrimony anxious to seize a golden +chance. In the case of the latter it was not unusual for the whole +process of proposal, engagement, and marriage to take place during the +few hours that the clergyman was available.</p> + +<p>We called this expedition "the Murray Journey," and once I took it +with him. It was soon after we arrived in the district—the 24th of +March. That morning his horse, with the long-distance bolster on its +back, was saddled and he in his Bush <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span>riding costume of short coat, +tough trousers, and leather leggings, ready to set forth in the usual +way. But I was ill just then, and when it came to saying good-bye he +felt unable to leave me. At the same time, placards posted on trees +and fences and school-house doors had made engagements for him which +he could do nothing to cancel.</p> + +<p>"Suppose you come too?" he suggested, as the best way out of the +difficulty. "The change of air and the outing may be just what you +need."</p> + +<p>It seemed a good idea, and was acted upon at once. With a hopeful +effort I prepared a portmanteau for myself, and another for my little +boy, whom we proposed to leave at a friend's house (the sister-in-law +having left us) until our return; and G. went down to the township to +find a buggy. We had not yet provided ourselves with a vehicle of our +own, although we owned a horse. Practically we owned dozens of horses, +because the squatters were always pressing loans of them upon us, +exchanging fresh for stale, paddocking any that needed to be turned +out; and on this occasion the doctor, whom I have already spoken of, +hearing of our enterprise and approving it, made an offer of a good +animal which G. accepted. It was understood that relays, if needed, +would not be wanting on the road. The buggy he hired at hotel stables +for £5 the trip.</p> + +<p>We started after luncheon, and in the evening reached a place where we +were very much at home. It was one of the newer two-storey brick +houses, with a double girdle of wide verandahs outside, and any amount +of solid British furniture within—an imposing mansion for the times. +It had enormous willow trees about it, which the owner had planted—he +white-haired and a grandfather, but Australian born, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>as also was his +wife. They were the oldest of old families, their history interwoven +with the very foundations of the State. Her father was killed by +bushrangers, his father was almost killed by them, or by blacks—I +forget which; and he showed me dinted gun-barrels and other trophies +that implied a battle for existence on his own part in the stirring +days gone by. He was one of the finest men I ever met. The +never-ending—unless South African battle-fields have ended +it—argument that the British type of physique degenerates in her +colonial-born sons was made short work of in his neighbourhood. "Look +at Mr B." the defender of his country would remark, and the abashed +opponent was left without a word to say.</p> + +<p>I had a day's rest under his wide, warm roof, which it was hoped would +recuperate my strength for further efforts. On the 26th we started +again, leaving behind us our little son and his nurse—leaving also +the doctor's horse, which Mr B. pronounced inadequate. He had the +shafts removed from our buggy, and a pole substituted, and gave us a +pair of strong, staunch, sweet-tempered horses, which I have no doubt +saved our lives on one occasion, if not on two. There was no +discussion about it. They were simply ordered, and brought round when +we were ready. And I do not remember that my mortal hatred of debts +and favours stood in the way at all. The idea of being "under an +obligation" to these men did not occur to one, somehow. The pleasure +was theirs.</p> + +<p>At 9 <span class="fakesc">A.M.</span> we set out, calculating to make the next stage by nightfall. +The autumnal days were such that I could not describe them without +rhapsodising, but the nights were dark, and closed in at about <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span>seven +o'clock. Mrs B. stuffed luncheon basket and invalid comforts under the +buggy seat. Everybody did that when seeing us off. It was a pity I +could not do justice to the good things we turned out upon the grass +when we made our noontide halts. If I had been well, what feasts I +should have had, in that wholesome, hungry air. A normal picnic always +finds me ravenous. As it was, my main support was milk, with a dash of +brandy in it. Nothing heavier would "stay."</p> + +<p>Now began the struggles which I know were so painful at the time, but +which were so amply paid for. Our track was through the wild Bush, +sparely bisected by the primitive bush-fence—two or three a day, +perhaps—brush, dog-leg, chock-and-log, the post-and-rail reserved for +the stockyards and home enclosures; and it soon began to climb rough +hills and fall into abrupt ravines such as no sane driver would +attempt to negotiate nowadays. Not we, at any rate. The hills crowded +upon the river, and to get past them you either had to make a long and +uninteresting detour inland or clamber over the shoulders that sloped +sheer into the swiftly-running stream. We chose this left-hand route, +and thus put the splendid mettle of our horses to full proof for the +first time. Some of those "sidings" were so steep that while the +staunch creatures clung to the track, digging their toes in at every +step, the buggy hung at right angles to them down the hill; the least +jib would have run us plump into the water beneath. I walked while I +had the strength to do so; at the sharpest pinches we both walked; but +there was too much of it. I had to mount when I could crawl no more, +and tucking myself under the seat and covering my eyes, give myself up +into <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span>the hands of fate. "Tell me when it is all over," I said to G.</p> + +<p>G. had the good character in the Bush of being "so unlike a parson," +which meant he could ride and drive (accomplishments acquired at home, +fortunately), and go anywhere without losing himself. In those endless +miles of wilderness, faintly scratched with crossing and re-crossing +bridle-tracks, nothing to guide him that was visible to me, he was, +from the first, as good a Bushman as those to the manner born, as sure +of his course as a sailor on the sea. Nevertheless, we fell into the +disgrace (to an Australian Jehu) of being "bushed" that night.</p> + +<p>In mere miles it was a long day's journey; the difficult country made +it a slow one, and it was necessary to "out span" for an hour in the +middle of it, to feed and rest the horses. We started in the +afternoon, watch in hand. "We shall do it," said G.; and then, "We +shall just do it;" and then, "We've got our work cut out to do it." We +counted minutes, and watched the glooming sky. The horses raced in and +out amongst the trees and scrub while any shadow of trunk or stump +could be discerned by the straining eye; then they slackened, checked, +stumbled; branches broke under their feet and in the buggy wheels and +swished our hands and faces; and we had to recognise that we were off +the track, and that the darkest of dark nights had untimely caught us. +We were not lost, because we could hear the dogs barking at the +homestead that was our goal, but we were as good as lost—"bushed" for +the night, although for some time we would not acknowledge it. If the +reader asks what carriage-lamps were made for, I reply, not for +Bushmen in those days. People living in and about <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span>the towns used +them, in obedience to by-laws, and the coaches travelled at night with +grand hoods of light around their faces, top and sides; but +country-folks despised such artificial aids, such enervating luxuries. +They used to say they could see better without lamps than with, and +we, being Bush persons, thought so too. On any ordinary night and +fairly open track, we could manage to get along, but this night was +not only moonless but starless, and thick with gathering rain. "Black +as a wolf's mouth" well describes it. And we were in riverside scrub, +which is always dense and confusing, traversing it, moreover (since it +was not G.'s riding route, a still rougher one) for the first time.</p> + +<p>G. got down and hunted with lighted matches for the lost track. When +he thought he had discovered it he backed the horses and ran the buggy +into a worse fix than before. This manœuvre was repeated several +times. While I held the reins, he made little excursions by himself, +and with the greatest difficulty found me again. The horses stood +quiet and patient, just snuffing and jingling a little, and we tied +them up and crept around the immediate neighbourhood together, hand in +hand, until they in turn were lost—lost for many agonising minutes. +Reminding ourselves of our responsibility for their welfare, and that +we should have to pay goodness only knew what for the buggy if harm +came to it, we decided, when reunited once more, not to part again. +Bushed we were, and had to make up our minds to it.</p> + +<p>So we unharnessed the gentle animals and haltered them, and let them +graze and rustle round within safe reach and the limit of their +tether, and we did what we could to ease the situation for <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span>ourselves. +I was deadly sick and tired, and had to lie down somewhere. The floor +of the buggy being too short for a bed, we were driven to seek rest on +the bosom of Mother Earth. We spread our one rug thereon, and covered +ourselves with the shawl that had Dik's shot-holes in it. That +shawl—a wedding present—was a dream of a shawl for softness, +thickness, cosiness, a family treasure for ever so many years. Babies +were rolled in it, and little invalids sitting up, and anybody who was +shivery or ailing (disease germs and such things not being in fashion +then); nothing was ever woven that gave so much comfort to so many +people. It was in constant demand—"the grey shawl"—as the last +safeguard against damps and chills, and so, as a matter of course, I +took it with me on the Murray Journey. But it was wofully insufficient +for the requirements of that cold March night.</p> + +<p>A mouthful from G.'s pocket-flask warmed me for a while, and there was +a romantic hour during which I lay and listened to the strange +undertones of the Bush, charmed to have fallen in with so interesting +an experience. It was, by the way, the only time that I ever "camped +out," although I have wished ever since to do it again, when well in +health and otherwise properly equipped. About two years ago I returned +(for the first time since '73) to that neighbourhood, and arrangements +were made for me and another enterprising matron to camp out with a +party of engineers surveying a proposed road through a wild jumble of +hills and glens, at what would have been an ideal spot. They were +taking tents and beds, and nice things to cook at the glorious fire +they would keep us warm with; nothing they could think of to enhance +our <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span>enjoyment had been forgotten. Alas! the rain came, and +extinguished that project and my joy. On the afternoon of the expected +happy night, a host-that-should-have-been drove me over one of the +old-time break-neck roads—but a real road now—and showed me the +scene of the camp that never was. Peeping from the mackintoshes that +he had heaped over me, I saw, through the driving rain and across a +thickly-wooded gorge, a high, dim hill. There it was, more than +half-way up—the loneliest eyrie. What a place to look down from at +nightfall, at daybreak, and in the dead waste and middle of the dark! +And not only the camp fire to make magic of it, but a moon!</p> + +<p>On the occasion of our involuntary camp-out in '73 there was neither. +I fancy we had used all our matches, but if not, we dared not have +made a fire. Grass and dead leaves were still tinder to a spark, and a +Bushman knows when he must respect that state of things. A Bush fire +is more easily started than put out. So we lay and listened to the +trampling and munching of the invisible horses, the scratchings and +runnings and snoring growls of the opossums, and those imaginary +footsteps that, to ears at the ground, were more distinct than either, +until we ached with the hardness of our bed and our teeth chattered +with cold. And then it began to rain.</p> + +<p>We sought the shelter of the buggy, and covered ourselves with the rug +and the grey shawl. We sat in the vehicle, where there was no room to +lie down, leaning one against the other, dropping this way and that, +sighing from our very boots, watching for a glint of dawn. It seemed a +thousand hours before it came. As soon as we could find our way we +went to the river to wash. How starvingly raw <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span>and cold that early +morning was! And to this day I am sorry for myself when I remember how +I felt, after the sleepless, supperless, wet, sick night. I would have +been glad to lie down and die, rather than face a pack of strangers. +However, we harnessed up, and set out for the house for which we were +bound. We seemed to have hardly started before we got there—a good +"Cooee" might have rescued us over-night—and nobody was stirring, +except a servant beginning to sweep.</p> + +<p>A new baby had recently arrived—it appears to me, looking back, that +in those days there was always a new baby in every house—so that the +mistress was invisible for a time; but I was soon in kind hands of +some sort, which helped me to tumble straightway into bed. For it was +useless to attempt to observe any of the usages of polite society, +under the circumstances. Daily, through that trip, I arrived in this +condition, more or less, at some new strange house—an uninvited +guest, too ill to talk to anyone, thrown at once upon the charity of +the family, and of course filled with the shame of so ignominious a +position; but I should have lost much more than I did lose if I had +been well.</p> + +<p>I slept till noon, while G. mended what he could of his broken +engagements (there should have been a service over-night, and now the +congregation had dispersed to its work); and after an early lunch we +took the road again. I was firm in insisting upon keeping a tight hold +of my husband, though I should die for it, rather than be left behind +to be nursed, which he and everyone deemed the proper thing to do with +me.</p> + +<p>In the evening we came to the place that, of all places visited at +this time, is the one I remember <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span>best and with most pleasure. A fine +day, after the rain, was closing with a finer sunset when we saw the +house, so effectively situated on a hill-side sloping to the river, +its pretty garden dropping down before, its neat vineyard and orchard +climbing behind, that as a picture I hung it "on the line," there and +then, and the gallery of memory holds nothing of the same age that has +worn so well. It was a bachelor establishment—an awkward +circumstance, at the first blush, but soon perceived to lack no +advantage on that account. One young partner was away; the one at home +came forth to receive us, with his nice, frank, gentlemanly air, that +made such an impression upon me. I don't know who he was; I never saw +or heard of him again; I have forgotten his name; but him I shall +never forget.</p> + +<p>He had made the most careful and graceful preparations for us. A +dinner-party had been arranged, the guests to meet us being a squatter +and his wife, of the same good class as himself, from the New South +Wales side of the river, which they crossed in their private +boat—evidently a voyage often taken—at the due hour. Sad to relate, +I could not join that party, much to the host's concern and my own +disappointment. The housekeeper bore me off to bed, and coddled me +with arrowroot or beef-tea or something, while at the same time she +supervised the serving of a meal which was described to me afterwards +in tantalising terms. I was glad that my bedroom was close to the +dining-room—probably opened out of it, like so many guest-chambers of +the period. I could hear the pleasant, cultivated voices, the bright +chat, broken by little silences during which the master of the house +waited to hear how I was, and whether I could fancy this or that; and +later in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span>the evening I could follow the whole course of the service +that was held in the same apartment, and for which he had diligently +gathered in every stray sheep within his reach.</p> + +<p>As soon as dinner was over the other lady guest came in to sit with +me, and stayed with me until it was time for her to re-cross the dark +river to her own home and bed. We talked of our children, in low +tones, not to disturb the adjacent worshippers. She, too, I never saw +before or since—it was indeed a case of ships that pass in the +night—but I have loved her always, and thought of her as a life-long +friend. We promised to meet again. If she is alive now, I am sure she +regrets, as I do, that Fate declined to give us another chance.</p> + +<p>Refreshed by a night's rest, I rose early, and enjoyed my host's +companionship for perhaps half an hour. He took me for a gentle stroll +about the garden while breakfast was preparing, and I was sorry the +half hour could not be lengthened to a day—or a week. But the +exigencies of G.'s time-table drove us on. We had another day-long +journey before us to the next port of call, and it was necessary to +start betimes if we were not to be bushed again.</p> + +<p>We travelled beside the river for some hours, and my recollections are +of particularly lovely views. Doubtless the radiant morning gave them +much of their charm—Australian scenery is really a matter of light +and atmosphere—and allowance must be made for that enchantment which +distance lends; still, it was a pretty country. The Murray wriggles +through its two colonies like a length of waved dress braid, and here +it curved between hilly banks and woods whose fringes dipped into the +stream. Primeval forest it was, too (except for that daily rarer +brush <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span>fence), the free home of beautiful birds that may now be sought +in vain within the boundaries of the state; and a stream still +populous with wild-fowl of many kinds. By noon we must have worked a +little inland, for my journal says it was a creek we camped by for +lunch; and in the afternoon, during which we skirted a little hamlet +that is now a considerable town, we descended to country called +"Plains" in the title of its presiding station—the house we reached +safely just as night closed in. Here there was the usual new baby +(which G. christened next day), and no hostess immediately visible; +the governess received me—in the inevitable condition—and put me to +bed.</p> + +<p>Speaking of those Bush babies, I would point out that medical +attendance was in the category of non-essential luxuries that are now +necessaries of life in every class. When it cost a little fortune and +the waste of days to get a doctor, the struggling Bushman's wife, as a +rule, took her chance without him. Occasionally she was conveyed to a +township which possessed one, and there awaited in lodgings the +opportunity to profit by his services; but the majority of Bush women +preferred to stay at home and make shift with the peripatetic Gamp, +old and unscientific as she always was. There was no fuss made over +these affairs. The wives took after their husbands, who could drive +without gig-lamps in the darkest night. I remember, however, that the +mistress of this last house had all but lost her life in her recent +confinement. She was a beautiful woman, delicate in every way—not of +the ordinary type of squatter's wife.</p> + +<p>With her I rested for a day, while G. made business excursions on +horseback, and we spent a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>second night under that roof. This brought +us to Sunday—a typical Bush Sunday.</p> + +<p>A large family party loaded the waggonette which took us to morning +service some miles distant. The place of worship, as usual in such +parts, was the district school-house, called the Common School (the +title "State" was substituted for "Common" when the Compulsory +Education Act came into force, after which these buildings, enormously +multiplied, were not so readily obtainable for what are called +"sectarian" purposes). The school-house was utilised by the +denominations in turn, all having been placed on the same footing by +the withdrawal of State aid from the originally established (English) +church, only the Roman Catholics standing out from the miscellaneous +company. This seemed a sad "come-down" to us at first, with our +hereditary reserve and exclusiveness in relation to "dissenters"—a +word long eliminated from our vocabulary. The miner who, being invited +to church, replied affably, "Ay, ay, I'll give ye all a turn," showed +us our place in the colonial scheme of things, and we did not like it +a bit. But we soon adapted ourselves. And G. and the current +Presbyterian parson of the parish, that he could not call his own, +used to study their mutual convenience in arranging country services, +and give each other a lift when on the road together. A pity it was +that the "dissidence of dissent" could not have been further +modified—a pity it is, and must continue to be—for the existence of +half a score of little conventicles struggling one against the other +for the suffrages of one poor little town—the money question in each +case dominating and determining every other—is not good for their +common cause.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span>In the simple seventies and these remote outskirts of the world, one +could still cherish the ideals of that English prelate who said of +Disestablishment that "it will nearly drown us, but at least it will +kill the fleas," one could survey the Church purified, before the new +vermin hatched. It was charming to see the country carts gathered +round the lowly wooden building, the horses unharnessed, feeding under +the trees; they had brought worshippers from many miles away, their +sincerity as such proved by the trouble they had taken to reach the +rendezvous, and by the heartiness of their demeanour while service was +going on. The school forms, made for children, would bend, and +sometimes break, under the heavy men, close-packed along them; the +mothers peacefully suckled their babes as they listened to the sermon; +the dogs strolled in, and up and down. Sometimes a dog had a +difference with another dog and disturbed the proceedings, but unless +this happened no one thought of driving the dear creatures out. They +were the sheep and cattle dogs of the congregation, each inseparable +from his master.</p> + +<p>This sort of function it was that I attended on the morning of the one +Sunday of that Murray Journey. A family present then convoyed us to +their home—another solitary station—whence, after a good meal, they +drove us to the second service of the day, similar to the first. We +then drove ourselves to a third station (a delightful place, G.'s +favourite camping-ground on every Murray trip), where, of course, I +went at once to bed, G. "having church" for the last time in the +evening, in the dining-room of the house.</p> + +<p>Monday was a rest-day here. On Tuesday <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span>morning we made the necessary +early departure, and a few hours later met with the first of our two +serious adventures.</p> + +<p>It was soon after our picnic lunch, early in the afternoon. We were +trundling through the eternal solitude, refreshed and content, +enjoying our conversation and the brilliant weather, when we saw a +Bush fire far ahead. Since we were not responsible for starting it, we +hailed it as a welcome variation in the monotony of our drive. We +hoped to skirt it near enough to see what it was doing. Bush fires +were pleasing novelties in those days; now the faintest distant scent +of them gives me a "turn" like a qualm of sickness. I shall explain +why later on. This incident does not explain it, although it well +might.</p> + +<p>As we advanced, the area of conflagration opened out. It was an +extensive fire, and in thick country. Not grass, but trees were +roaring to the sky. Our anxiety to get close to it gradually gave +place to a wish that it were further away. Misgivings deepened as we +drew near; alarm supervened. "It is right across the track," said G. +at last; and so it was, and far to right and left.</p> + +<p>The last thing we wanted to do was to turn back, and indeed the wings +of flame curved in behind us even as we drew rein to discuss our +chances—not until we had driven quite up to the blazing wall, in the +hope of seeing through to the other side, and finding a +crossing-place. To go into the unburnt scrub on either hand would have +been madness, for nothing could have saved us had the fire caught us +there. Every inch of earth provided fuel for it, except the narrow, +dusty buggy track. To that we knew we must stick at all hazards, and a +very <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span>hurried survey of our unpleasant position showed us that there +was nothing for it but to go on—to plunge into the flaming belt, and +get out as best we could.</p> + +<p>A few yards, we hopefully reckoned it: it turned out nearer half a +mile. It might have been midnight, for all the daylight or sunlight +that we saw during that dreadful passage: we were like Shadrach, +Meshach, and Abednego in the burning fiery furnace, enveloped in a +glare as of the infernal regions. The tree-torches over our heads +dropped blazing leaves on us (the useful grey shawl again +intervening): the grass-blades caught and curled up at the very tires +of the wheels; the buggy sides blistered like our hands and cheeks. +Not a word did we speak, except to urge on the horses, on which our +lives depended, and which we are convinced they saved.</p> + +<p>They shivered and jumped and snorted a little when the flames came +very near, or they were touched by a spark, but never for a moment +gave way to the panic which would have been natural, and which would +have destroyed us all. Digging their heads into their chests, obeying +voice, whip, and rein, they strained along doggedly, keeping the track +as they had done on the steep sidings, until they brought us out at +last into light and safety. Such nerve and courage I never saw or +heard of in horses, which can stand almost anything better than fire +at close quarters. But this pair were unmatchable.</p> + +<p>We staggered into port, and tried, with our parched tongues, to tell +the tale. Never shall I forget the shock I received from the behaviour +of the person interviewed. The thin veneer of his sympathy for us was +as glass over his solid and shining satisfaction at hearing how his +waste land was getting <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span>cleared—at no expense to him. I thought I had +never met a more heartless man.</p> + +<p>Then, after a night in the humble <i>chalet</i> of two young fellows, just +starting squatting for themselves in a romantic nook of the hills—who +ought not to have been asked to entertain a lady, but did it most +hospitably with the best at their command, we passed on to our next +adventure.</p> + +<p>It was another lovely morning, and the usual bottle of new milk and +private spirit-flask compensated somewhat for the chops I had not been +able to eat at breakfast. It was a beautiful if rough drive down the +hills to the river-flats and another little hamlet that is now a +full-grown town, with a railway to it. On the way we stopped to watch +the evolutions of an eagle-hawk, which had caught up an opossum +(stupid as an owl in daylight), and was sailing through the ether with +it, fiercely chased by all the other birds of the neighbourhood. They +call these great creatures eagle-hawks, but they are wholly eagles, to +all intents and purposes. I have seen one swoop over a terrified +flock, claw up a good-sized lamb, and soar away with it as if it were +a mouse.</p> + +<p>Leaving the township, we came presently to a river—the Mitta, in +flood. And here our incomparable horses, which had saved us from a +fiery, saved us from a watery, grave—possibly. G., it is true, was a +good swimmer, but I was not, and the worst might have happened. +Drownings of venturesome travellers, under the same circumstances, +were frequently reported in those days.</p> + +<p>That river had to be crossed. There was no bridge, of course, and not +a soul within miles of whom to make inquiries as to the +fording-place. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span>The only thing to do, therefore, was to take the last +one known, while anticipating—rightly as it proved—that it would be +found washed out and gone. "Oh, you can't cross there now," they told +us, after we had done it.</p> + +<p>I and all our belongings were gathered upon the buggy seat, skirts +tucked round me, railing and portmanteau tightly clutched; G. knelt on +the cushion of the driver's seat, and we plunged in. Deeper, deeper, +deeper, until we swayed and rocked and swung round upon our axis, and +the current took the horses off their feet and began to drift them +down. But their heads still pointed to the old landing-place: with all +their strength they held back against the stream; and swimming +steadily, got us ashore without an upset, and, with a tremendous spurt +and scramble, up a bank that would have tried the mettle of a South +African bullock team.</p> + +<p>It was the last "pinch." By noon we reached the wide-spreading roofs +of a house which was simply a free hotel for every passer-by—that +house where even the blacks were made welcome, one of them having the +run of visitors' bedrooms in the night. There G. left me, returning +after a few hours with our little boy and his nurse and the doctor's +horse. And the following day we were at home.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER IX<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>LOCAL COLOUR</h4> +<br /> + +<p>I often wonder what G. would have done if he had been a weakly man or +an indifferent rider. There were lengthy periods during which he +practically lived in the saddle, getting out of it merely for meals +and sleep. For a time we kept records of the totals of miles covered +per week or per year, but, these matters ceasing to be notable, we +lost them long ago. And it is better not to trust even to his memory +to reproduce them, for I am certain that no figure near the truth +would be credited by the English reader.</p> + +<p>The following is the programme for a monthly Sunday in W——, where +the breaking-in began:—Up at 4 <span class="fakesc">A.M.</span> Breakfast at a station +twenty-five miles distant. Morning service five miles further distant +(in an open shed, the congregation sitting on wheat-sacks or what +not). Dinner near by, and ride of twelve miles to afternoon service. +Tea, and ride of five miles to evening service. Ride of seventeen +miles home. Of course he could have started on Saturday and returned +on Monday, but he never spent a night away from his own house unless +absolutely compelled. I used to wake from my first sleep at the sound +of the cantering hoofs, pop on my dressing-gown, and go and hold the +lantern for him <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span>while he made his horse comfortable, and then join +him at his well-earned supper. He was always fresh at the end of this +tremendous day, or, at anyrate, not more than pleasantly +tired—generally more disposed to sit up and gossip than to go to bed. +The horse, too, which had carried him all day, though glad to reach +his journey's end, was undistressed. It was by no means an exceptional +day's work for an Australian horse.</p> + +<p>Only once do I remember seeing G., at the end of one of these Bush +excursions, thoroughly knocked up. That was in furnace-hot midsummer +weather, when he had been out all day in a north wind. He had been +sent for to take a burial service, and was first driven twenty-five +miles to the station where the body was lying. Hence the funeral +party, on horseback and in black clothes and hats, proceeded at a slow +foot-pace another twenty-five miles to the station where the family +burying-ground was situated. Here, at the grave, one mourner fell, +sun-struck; the rest were more or less prostrated. G. rode those +terrible twenty-five miles, and the same distance back to the first +station; there he had a meal and a short rest, and then rode home in +the night, which was pitchy dark. The temperature was still over 100° +and the wind in the north, and the whole thing proved too much even +for his strength. He was really tired out, for once. But that was the +only time that I remember him being so (from riding) in all the years +that I have known him.</p> + +<p>I may mention another funeral with some old-time features about it. +The summons came one evening, from a long distance, and the man +bringing it left directions for G. to follow in riding to the +appointed spot next day—for he had but just arrived in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span>the district, +which was all unknown land to him. The man promised to meet him at a +certain swamp of some miles in extent; the funeral would have to skirt +round this swamp, but there was a track through it, known to the +initiated, by which a rider could save much distance; he had, however, +to be a good rider, on a good horse, because it was a quicksandy sort +of ground, and a guide was necessary. G. managed to find this place +and duly met his guide, who upbraided him for not being there earlier. +The man then led the way through the swamp, at a pace as near to +flying as possible, to avoid being sucked in; if a horse rested his +weight on the ground for a moment, he began to sink. They were awful +places, those. I once saw G. (I was riding behind him) caught by one +unawares. The instant he knew it he rolled off the saddle and back to +<i>terra firma</i> like a streak of lightning, and eventually he got his +horse out too; but it gave me cold shivers to think what might have +happened. Though, as I never heard of anyone being engulfed entirely, +I suppose there were bottoms somewhere.</p> + +<p>On this occasion the guide tore along at the pace I have mentioned, +kicking up the sticky stuff behind him; G., obliged to ride in his +tracks and close at his heels, was smothered in the shower, and when +he joined the funeral procession was a cake of black mud from head to +foot. Arrived at the cemetery, it was found that the grave had not +been dug—not begun to be dug—and the party had to sit around for +three hours while this necessary business was transacted. A hospitable +soul amongst the mourners took G. to his neighbouring shanty, cleaned +him down a bit, and gave him eggs and chops and tea and all the usual +kindness. Word was brought to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span>them when the grave was ready, and they +returned to finish the proceedings.</p> + +<p>This cemetery, although remote and small, was a public one; that of +the other funeral was private. I have known several of these family +burying-places, made in the first instance for the pioneers who "took +up" the land—crown land, become freehold and virtually entailed—now +occupied by their descendants; some of them are used still. Only a +short time ago I was visiting one of the old homes, a wealthy station, +administered by the third generation of its possessors; and, walking +about the grounds after luncheon, I was shown the cemetery, with its +rows of head-stones and monuments and its fence and gate, like a +section cut out of any well kept municipal burial-ground; only this +lay amongst garden-beds and orange-groves, in full view of the windows +on one side of the house. Hither had been brought back the daughters +who had married and gone away. "And here," said my white-haired host, +"we," indicating the family group of which he was the centre, "shall +all come, I hope." I trust there will be no law made to prevent it. +Technically unconsecrated, as I suppose they are, these little family +burying-places have a peculiar sacredness, to my thinking, not +belonging to the common gathering-places of the dead; the difference +is as between a bed at home and a bed in a hotel.</p> + +<p>One friend of ours, bachelor-owner of one of the finest properties in +the wealthy Western District, ordered that he should be interred on +the top of a hill on his estate, and that no monument was to be +erected over him. His wishes were carried out. G. read the burial +service at the lonely grave, which is marked only by a cairn of +stones.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span>Some of the Bush weddings of those early times were as unconventional +as the Bush funerals. Our verger and odd man about the church at Y—— +(we took him over from our predecessor) could not read. G. called upon +him one day to say the responses at a marriage service, there being no +other congregation, and he pleaded this disability. "Well, at least," +said G., "you can say 'Amen' can't you?" Oh, yes, he could do that. +And he did—with a vengeance. Every time G. paused to take a breath, +no matter where, a loud "Amen!" was shot into the breach. Who giveth +this woman to be married to this man?—"Amen!" There was nothing for +it but to race through the ceremony, and "Old Jimmy" was not required +to officiate again.</p> + +<p>G. was often nonplussed in this way, by finding ignorance where he +expected knowledge as a matter of course. Once he started to read the +Litany in a strange place for the first time. Dead silence followed +the opening sentence. In a low voice he directed the congregation what +to do, but nothing would make them do it; evidently they had never had +the Litany before, and did not know what to make of it. In the end he +had to read the whole alone. I myself came upon a crowded class of +Sunday-school children who did not know who Noah was. I was trying to +stuff them with that legend of a submerged world, and I put the +question encouragingly: "Now, who was the good man whom God spared +when all the rest were drowned?" Rows and rows, dozens and dozens +(they filled that flower-stand-like arrangement of stair-seats running +up the wall, which the village school provides for the infant +scholars) of blank little faces were interrogated one by one. "Can't +you tell me? Can't <i>you</i>?" No, none of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span>them could. At last one bright +little boy spoke up. "I know, teacher!" "Ah, then you tell these other +little boys and girls. Who was it?" He shouted triumphantly, "Robinson +Crusoe!"</p> + +<p>There was a Bush wedding that would have made quite a romantic story, +if I had thought to write it. G. was on the Murray Journey, and it was +one of his engagements for the outward route. Cantering along through +the Bush, he was met and accosted by a drunken old man, who asked him +whether he was not the parson and on the way to marry So-and-so. G. +informed him that he was. "Well, don't you do it," said the man. "I'm +the girl's father, and she's under age, and she can't marry without my +consent, and I won't give it." G. rode on, and at the appointed +rendezvous met the young couple, a nice modest girl and a +respectable-looking young man. Documents were produced for filling up +and signing, and G. asked for that necessary one which he feared would +not be forthcoming. It was not. The bridegroom-elect pretended that it +had been mislaid—"bluffed" all he knew, poor fellow—but he could not +produce it, and without it there could be no marriage. The bride, +being in her teens, must have her father's written consent, and this +father had refused it. They tried to persuade G. to marry them without +it, but, as he told them, it was more than his place was worth; the +law was plain and had to be obeyed. They retired for a while to +discuss the unhappy situation, and then the bride came back alone, +weeping, to renew the useless appeal. She had a wretched life with her +drunken father, who ill-used her, and her lover had prepared for her a +good and happy home, and oh, couldn't G., for once and in +consideration of the hard circumstances, stretch <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span>a point? He was +sorry enough that he could not. All he could do was to promise to see +them again on his homeward journey, and to marry them then if in the +meantime they had been able to soften the father's heart. But when he +returned he found the situation unchanged; the old ruffian's heart was +flint. The end of it all was that the poor young things, using the +legal knowledge acquired from G., went off to another colony and +another clergyman who knew them not, to whom the bride gave her age as +over twenty-one. G., when he heard of this, did not make it his +business to denounce the desperate young criminals.</p> + +<p>He celebrated another Bush wedding—and there was a wedding party to +it—in the destined home of the happy pair. It was a bark hut, with a +mud floor and as yet without a shred of furniture in it. The papers +were filled up and signed on an up-ended cask. At another marriage +feast all the guests were drunk to start with. They offered him a +glass of neat brandy in which to drink the health of the contracting +parties. In all sorts of places, and at all hours of the day and +night, he has been called upon to weld the bands of holy matrimony; +the evening—after dark—is the time preferred by those casual couples +who do not bother about wedding garments and the other conventional +displays.</p> + +<p>I once got a pathetic glimpse of one of these belated functions; it +was performed for G. by a <i>locum tenens</i> in one of our country +parishes. "Why," said he to me, before going into church, "why do +these people make a point of being married in the vestry and not +before the altar?" They had pressed this point with such earnestness +that he had yielded to it. His idea was that they did not feel +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span>themselves smart enough for the usual observances, although there were +to be no spectators; but even to him it seemed an absurd one. We knew +them well—that the mother, authorising the marriage as the only +surviving parent, was a highly-respected lady, and the bridegroom a +steady young man, long a member of her establishment; the bride, who +was very young, was her only child. The hour and the place chosen, and +the secrecy of the whole affair, puzzled us, though we might easily +have guessed their meaning. I happened to see the vestry door open on +the conclusion of the ceremony. In the bright patch of light suddenly +flung upon the screen of darkness stood mother and daughter, locked in +each other's arms, apparently weeping bitterly. "Tell me," said the +officiating minister, when he came in, "tell me how this business +turns out," and he left us next day for his home in Melbourne. The +first thing I heard was the news that the girl had been married, all +unbeknown to her friends and at some distant church, several months +before the date on which I knew she had been married; everybody told +me this, and of course I did not contradict the statement. Four or +five months later I met her in a railway carriage, and she had a +bouncing baby in her arms. The strict moralist would have been +horrified to see how proud of it she was, and how blooming and happy +and satisfied she looked.</p> + +<p>Strange to say, evening weddings are <i>de rigueur</i> in the upper circles +of the place where I now live—the only place thus distinguished, so +far as I know. Soon after we came here a particularly "swell" wedding +took place—that may have set the fashion—the hour of which was fixed +at 8 <span class="fakesc">P.M.</span> The bridal robe, with its court train, had been sent from +London, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span>the gift of a wealthy sister; it was a wonderful white +brocade shot with silver threads, and certainly shimmered in the +gaslight as it could not have done by day. The gorgeous costumes of +the guests also "lit up" with great effectiveness, as did the +elaborate decorations of the church. It was really a dramatic +spectacle. And the church was almost pulled to pieces by the crowd who +went to see it.</p> + +<p>And so now all the butchers and bakers and candlestick-makers have +their weddings at night. Business is over, and they can revel +thoroughly while they are about it. And outsiders, being also free to +enjoy themselves, come in shoals to see the fun. Gates have to be +locked and defended by brute force like barricades against besiegers, +and the police are welcome when they deign to grace the scene. We hate +this custom, which for several reasons is not nice to think of, but +cannot alter it. Fashion is always irresistible when there is no law +to the contrary, and canonical hours are ignored in this country. In +the Bush, in the old days, persons got married at night only because +they were ashamed to do so by day, or because they had no choice.</p> + +<p>Another more purely social function of the Church had its Australian +peculiarities, so marked at times as to obscure the lines of the +original model, followed with such religious care. I allude to the +time-honoured tea-meeting. I shall never forget how the first one that +I attended on this side of the world astonished me.</p> + +<p>It was while we were at W——, and the occasion was the laying of the +foundation stone of a church at a mining township some twelve miles +off. A large party of us, headed by our archdeacon, had a pleasant +drive to the spot during the afternoon; on <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span>arrival our buggies were +variously disposed of amongst the local residents, who, after the +business ceremony, welcomed us to the hall or schoolroom where the +festive tables were spread. I had seen the festive tables at +home—bread and butter, substantial whitish cake, currant buns—and +expected some approximation to that immemorial bill of fare, which to +me was all one with the Rubrics.</p> + +<p>I did not know—though I soon learnt—that the poorest Sunday-school +child would not look at it. For the Sunday-school treat—just so much +on a lower plane than a tea-meeting as boys and girls are inferior to +men and women—you must have nothing plainer than ham-sandwich; that +is the basis on which to build the rich edifice of sweets. Ham it must +be, and no meaner substitute. So, at least, it was when I took active +part in such affairs; for I know that once, when we thought to +economise with beef, an irate mother came to ask us what we meant by +it. The children never had been put off with beef, and she considered +it a burning shame. One year, when the "treat" food was provided, as +usual, by the ladies of the congregation, each cooking to outvie the +rest, I took upon myself to remonstrate with them for <i>their</i> +cruelty—in stuffing the poor children with unlimited cream-cakes and +meringues. Yes, actually meringues, on my word of honour. But that, I +must admit, was an exceptional circumstance.</p> + +<p>Nowadays, as I am informed, things are not quite the same. For +instance, the current Sunday-school attached to this establishment +makes its annual sandwiches of ham, beef, and German sausage, in about +equal parts, and I do not hear of any complaints. It is a large +Sunday-school, and therefore not so much all one family as those +little ones of the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span>past: and ham is something like a shilling a +pound; and town ways are not as Bush ways. In town it is a common +thing to employ a caterer at so much per head. So that we may say the +times have changed. But the children, wherever they are and whoever +makes it for them, still pack rich puff pastry on the top of their +sandwiches, and rich plum cake on the top of that, and miscellaneous +"lollies" on the top of all, until there is no room for a crumb more; +and what happens to them next day, and the day after, is a question +that yearly agitates my mind. Quite unnecessarily, I suppose. Their +little stomachs are hardened to it.</p> + +<p>So the aspect of my Bush feast—the tea-meeting tea—may be inferred. +Chickens and turkeys, hams and tongues, pies and sucking-pigs, jellies +and trifles—in short, all the features of an old-fashioned wedding +breakfast or a ball supper were there, except the wine. You had, +naturally, to drink tea at a tea-meeting—if you wanted to drink +anything with such oceans of whipped cream. But the tea is the only +remaining link between the Australian tea-meeting and the English one, +unless the English one has changed greatly since my time.</p> + +<p>A purely social function, did I call it? It had, of course, its +<i>raison d'être</i> if only to "draw the people together," which is its +last excuse (the first always "goes without saying"). On one occasion +a tea-meeting was attached to a movement for getting some parochial +work done, of which part of the parish approved and part did not. +Speeches for and against were made when the tables had been cleared, +and G. spoke for the side that he personally espoused. The local +paper, which was on the opposite side, reported his speech in the +following ingenious manner: <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span>"The reverend gentleman was understood to +say" so and so (substantially what he actually did say), "but what he +meant to say was" so and so (what the local paper and its party +thought he ought to have said).</p> + +<p>The great tea-meeting of all is what is called the Diocesan Festival. +It is held annually, at the time of the sitting of the Church +Assembly, which is our House of Convocation; and all the leading +(English) Churchmen of the diocese, lay and clerical, take their part +in "running the show." The Melbourne Town Hall is filled with +tea-tables, individually donated by parishes or private families; +Church of England people, and many besides, flock thither and pack the +place to suffocation before six o'clock, at which hour they sit down +to eat and drink, having paid eighteen pence per head for the +privilege. When tea is over there is a great struggle for room to +remove the tables and their furnishings, but it is done somehow, and +only benches and chairs left for the evening assembly, augmented by +many not present at the tea. During this interval the cathedral +organist gives selections on the great instrument that was the city's +pride in the seventies and eighties, but now needs more money than +City fathers care to give (for mere artistic purposes) to bring it up +to the requirements of these times and of a self-respecting performer; +then, when all is ready, the orchestra platform fills with +big-wigs—governor, bishops, "special attractions" bespoken long +before—and stirring speeches fill the rest of the bill. It is a great +carnival for pious folk, and not without interest for mere ordinary +beings like myself; and the substantial profit resulting from it is +one of the mainstays of the "Bishop of Melbourne's Fund," which is the +general fund in aid of general diocesan distress.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span>Substantial profit, it is needless to remark, is the first object of +the promoters of all these entertainments, so many and +various—tea-meetings, bazaars, "sales of gifts," Bruce auctions, cake +fairs, concerts, etc., etc.—and has to be so while the voluntary +system and poor human nature exist together. Each event is contrived +"for the benefit of the Church," a term well understood by all its +members, who will contribute pounds of money and endless time and +trouble to such affairs sooner than lay an extra shilling or two in +the offertory plate. Every parish is running its little money-making +enterprise at short intervals, the other denominations, whose parish +it is also, doing the same. Sometimes there is an unfriendly +competition between the churches, smart dodges to take the wind out of +a rival's sails; more often they have a tacit fraternal arrangement to +aid each other, or at anyrate not get into each other's way. You will +hear it said at a ladies' working party, "What a shame of the +Catholics to take our conversazione night for their concert!" Or, "The +Presbyterians sent a lot of things to our bazaar, so it is only right +we should help them with theirs."</p> + +<p>The concert is the commonest of these events. It costs, in money, +time, and trouble, less to get up than the others. Domestically, this +is a musical country, and local performers are never hard to find. My +natural impulse is to stay at home when the miscellaneous amateur is +abroad, but sometimes, when I have steeled myself to endure him or +her, I have been rewarded beyond my expectations or deserts. One thing +stands out from my experiences in this line that is worthy of +note—the high average of excellence in the quality of the amateur +voice. I am convinced there are as good fish in the sea as the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span>Melbas +and Crossleys that have come out of it, judging by the number of +little girls, hardly past childhood, whom I have seen come upon the +stage in parish schoolrooms and rural shire-halls, and proceed to give +forth full, ringing notes that, for power, would do justice to the +Albert Hall or the Crystal Palace, and with the right training (as I +think) might do anything. I believe it is the climate that accounts +for it—the air that throat and lungs have grown on; and if so, this +is the place for the speculator in such wares to come to. Expert +fossicking might reveal a new Kimberley to the world.</p> + +<p>Still, in spite of these occasional surprises, the parish +concert—after so many of them—is apt to pall upon the too-accustomed +ear. One looks to the human interest for entertainment, rather than to +art. In what I believe was the very first parish concert that I went +to, this element largely predominated.</p> + +<p>It was held at a hamlet some eight or ten miles from head-quarters, +and we drove to it in a party, taking several of the performers with +us. Before business began, our <i>prima donna</i>, a young married lady, +confessed to not feeling very well; she said she had been eating +fruit, which had disagreed with her. However, she went through the two +hours' programme unflinchingly, and so acquitted herself as to rouse +no suspicion of the fact that she herself was perfectly aware of. She +was a tall, handsome, resolute sort of woman, who, finding herself in +a horrible dilemma, determined to brave it out. "I <i>had</i> to do it," +she said to us afterwards, "or else upset everything and make a +disgraceful exhibition of myself. And I thought there would be plenty +of time." But she had miscalculated in this respect, as it is so easy +to do, and the situation had grown desperate before she was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span>nearly +through with her last number; I noted her damp brow and deeply flushed +face, and wondered at the unsmiling look in her eyes when they met +mine; her accompanist also was put about a little here and there; +nevertheless, she made a finish of her song before she bowed to our +applause and bowed herself off the stage. Then a word went round +amongst the matrons which filled us with dismay and concern. The +doctor's horses were put to his buggy, and the doctor and his wife and +Mrs T. were gone ere "God Save the Queen" was finished. When the rest +of us got home afterwards, it was to hear that our <i>prima donna</i> had +become a mother rather less than two minutes after gaining the shelter +of her own house.</p> + +<p>I think that was the most interesting concert I was ever at. Others +who were there, remembering it with equal vividness, say the same.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER X<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE FOURTH HOME</h4> +<br /> + +<p>Sad indeed was the breaking-up of that pleasant home at Y——. It +followed upon, and was a consequence of, the death of our little +daughter, when she was nearly a year old.</p> + +<p>These are the times when the Bush dweller feels his geographical +position most keenly—when he needs the best medical advice and cannot +get it. I do not say that our dear old German doctor was not a good +doctor in his way, for he was; but practically nothing had been added +to his knowledge since he was young, and in this case he confessed +frankly that he was altogether at fault. He had never met with a +similar one—nor have I; and after looking up all the authorities at +his command, even to the papers and notes of lectures of his student +days, his honest mind would not pretend to have made itself up. His +professional credit was not so dear to that man as truth. "I don't +know," he said in so many words. And how often I have wondered +whether, if we had been rich, we could have found someone else who +did! Would a special train and a thousand guinea fee have saved her?</p> + +<p>These are questions that shock some of my clerical friends, mothers +amongst them. "It was the Lord's will," they say, and seem to think +that <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span>settles it. A few months ago I was spending an evening with a +young curate and his wife, whom I had not met before; they were +ardently religious people, in their own line, and they had recently +lost their only son. The mother gave me the history. He had had an +internal tumour or something of the sort, a growth that steadily +increased, and which the doctors had plainly said must be removed if +his life was to be saved. The parents replied—and they repeated the +words with such proud confidence that they were right words—"No, if +the Lord intends him to get well, he will get well without that." And +instead of the operation—urged by their incumbent, who also gave me +these facts, as well as by other friends—they had prayer-meetings at +the bed-side. The little sufferer, described as a bright boy of nine, +swelled and swelled until he died. "The Lord needed him," said the +mother to me. And "We feel so honoured to have a child in Heaven." She +made my blood run cold. I can never have shocked the "good" people +more than that ultra "good" woman shocked me.</p> + +<p>We left nothing to these chances. When whooping-cough came to the +township, I took extraordinary precautions to keep my children from +catching it. The epidemic was nearly over when the little boy fell a +victim, and then I watched day and night to prevent contact with the +baby. Quite at the last (the lady I have spoken of would have some +remarks to make on this) my efforts were defeated; the baby took it in +spite of me. She was a healthy and happy little soul, and at first her +case seemed just an ordinary one. But after coughing for a week or +two, she ceased to cough suddenly, and fell into strange +fainting-fits; they seized her so silently and swiftly that <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span>I hardly +once saw her go into one, although she was in the room with me, and my +eye, as I thought, never off her. A cry from her nurse or somebody +would cause me to jump as if I had been shot, and there lay my little +one, wherever she happened to have been sitting or crawling, exactly +like one dead—grey, limp, eyes sunk, lips drawn back, neither breath +nor heart-beat discoverable. We would snatch her up and rub her and +give her brandy; and after some minutes, more or less, she would +struggle painfully back to life, and as soon as respiration returned +begin to shriek in the most terrible manner, and keep it up until +completely exhausted; then she would drop asleep, remain asleep for a +whole day, perhaps, and awake placid and cooing, ready to be fed and +played with, apparently as well as ever. At intervals of a day, or two +days, she had perhaps half a dozen of these fits; then she had one +that lasted nearly three hours. All the while that she lay in our +arms, we having no hope that she would revive again, a thin stream of +what looked like grey water trickled from one nostril; it was the only +sign of life. The old doctor, having done all he knew, sat looking on, +as helpless as we. However, again she struggled back, and, getting +breath, began that quick, agonising shriek which was so maddening to +hear and impossible to stop. The doctor put his hands to his ears. "I +can't stand it," he said; "I must go outside. Call me if you want me." +After awhile he went home, but the shrieks lasted the greater part of +the night, gradually, as her strength wore out, dying into hoarse +wails and moaning off at last into exhausted sleep.</p> + +<p>She slept the entire day, and I sat by the cradle and watched her, +sopping several handkerchiefs with <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span>those foolish tears which I am +supposed to weep for the pleasure of it and could help shedding if I +liked. Then, towards evening, a little hand began playing with the +cradle-frills, and the happy little coo that used to wake me of a +morning broke the silence of the room. I could not believe my eyes and +ears. We sent post-haste for the doctor. Well, there she was, looking +as if nothing had happened. And for three weeks thereafter she had no +more fits, but ate and played, and throve and fattened, apparently +better than she had ever done in her life.</p> + +<p>"Whatever it was," said the doctor, "that last attack has carried it +off. You will see she will be all right now."</p> + +<p>At the end of the three happy weeks that seemed to prove him right, I +gave a little musical party. He brought his flute, and we were in the +middle of a more or less orchestral performance, when I fancied I +heard a cry from the next room—a cry with that peculiar sharp edge to +it that I had so learned to dread. I rushed to the cradle, the doctor +after me, and we lifted the child up and examined her. "Oh, she's all +right," we said, with long breaths of relief; "it was only our noisy +music that disturbed her." We placed the nursemaid on guard, and went +back to the drawing-room, and for the rest of the evening made less +noise, while she made none, but slumbered peacefully.</p> + +<p>In the morning she woke up as usual; that is, I did not know when she +woke. She hardly ever cried to be taken up, but played with her +bed-clothes and her toes, and gurgled and gabbled to herself until I +chose to lift her into my bed. She was in the most blooming condition. +From the time that I dressed her, until breakfast was ready, she +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span>played with the cat on the dining-room floor, and a vivid memory of +the day is of the smothered chuckles of the two servants while G. was +reading prayers, because of the hilarious and irreverent shouts and +crows with which baby enlivened the proceedings. When breakfast came +in she was carried out. At the door her nurse held her up and told her +to say good-bye to her father and mother. The bright little creature, +perfection in my eyes, with her sunny curls and blue eyes and the +little face lit up with the fun of going through her tricks, kissed +her hand and waved it, and nodded and farewelled us in her baby +language, and the door closed upon our last sight of her in life.</p> + +<p>It was my habit to take her for an airing after breakfast, while the +servants helped each other with the housework, and this particular +morning was a glorious one, the crisp, sunny winter morning of +Australian hill country, with the first hint of spring in it. I got +her little cloak and hood and went to the kitchen to fetch her. The +kitchen was large and airy, opening upon the garden, and her cradle +was sometimes placed in a corner there, where she could be watched by +the servants, who were both devoted to her. It was there now, and she +was in it. "She seemed sleepy," said the elder girl, "so we laid her +down."</p> + +<p>"She must have been awake earlier than usual," I thought, and, +stooping over the cradle, I saw her, as I believed—and still +believe—sleeping quietly, carefully tucked up, the little golden head +laid sidewise on the pillow. It was not her bed-time by an hour or +two, but her habit of not telling me when she started the day seemed +to explain the too early sleepiness. I told the girls they were right +to put her <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span>down, and went off to the housework on my own account. +Some time later the elder servant came to me where I was busy, G. +being with me. "Oh, ma'am," said she, gaspingly, "I wish you'd come +and look at baby. She's so pale!" G. almost flung me aside lest I +should get to the door first, and dashed to the kitchen. We both knew +instantly what had happened. The servants had not left her for a +moment; she had not made a movement or a sound; she could not have +known what had happened herself, which was something to be thankful +for. One of her strange fits had seized her—the one, at last, that +she would never come out of. Her father snatched her up—lying exactly +as I had left her—and called for the brandy; we tried to pour it down +her throat, where not a drop would go, until she grew quite cold and +rigid in our arms.</p> + +<p>It was the first of these almost insupportable bereavements, and the +effect on my health was so severe that a complete change of +surroundings was considered necessary—to get me away from the house +whose every nook and corner was haunted by such agonising visions of +what had been. G., for his part, could no longer stand the Murray +journeys, involving such long and complete separation at a time when +we needed so much to be together. So he cast about for a more compact +parish, and one offered that fulfilled the requirements—and more.</p> + +<p>It was so far away from Y—— that we had to sell our furniture and +begin at the beginning again. At this auction the amateur sofas went, +and from that time I bought sofas. The new drawing-room was graced +with a "suite" in green rep—such was our taste in pre-exhibition +days—and the sofa was of that curly shape which prohibited repose. By +filling <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span>the upper concave end with my big cushions I could make head +and shoulders comfortable, but then there was no scope for legs and +feet; and one had to anchor one's self with the right hand to the +sloping and slippery framework of the back to keep from rolling off. I +never did appreciate that ingenious design, and the suite was no +sooner in its place than I found even the colour of it annoying. To +improve the effect I made holland covers for every piece—pretty +chintzes were unprocurable—and at least a fresher and brighter air +was imparted to the room; but I was not sorry that we had to have +another auction at the end of three years' companionship with the +suite.</p> + +<p>In other ways this fourth home was a great change from the other +three. We were now down in the flat, settled, macadamised country, +only twenty miles or so from Ballarat and fifty from the +metropolis—quite "in the world." I say "down," but it was a colder, +wetter, snowier place to winter in than any other that we have known +on this side of the globe—seventeen hundred feet above sea-level.</p> + +<p>Apart from the trouble I have spoken of, and a bitterer one of the +same nature that was soon to follow it, and the further misfortune of +a carriage accident from the results of which I suffered for many +years, my life at B——, socially considered, was more to my taste +than had been the case before in Australia, or than has been since. +For there I first discovered the resources of the colony in its +intellectually-cultivated class, and enjoyed the society and +friendship of some who represented it at its best—members of a small, +inter-related, highly exclusive circle of about half a dozen families, +who had had time and the means to read, travel, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span>generally sustain +the traditions of refinement to which they were born.</p> + +<p>Chronologically, they were the first gentlefolk of the land—"Rolf +Boldrewood" speaks of some of them in his <i>Old Melbourne +Memories</i>—and they still merit the title in another sense. The clans +have dwindled, indeed, but not all the original heads have fallen yet, +and I have not heard of a <i>mésalliance</i> amongst their descendants. If +they do not marry with each other, they marry with their kind. As with +the Salisburys and Buccleuchs and modern London Society, they remain +uncontaminated by the influences which have made our own little world +of fashion a faint copy of the big one at home. Money, which "runs the +show" elsewhere, is no passport to those dignified homes, dating from +"before the gold," in which I have spent so many happy hours.</p> + +<p>My own passport to it was a little tale in the <i>Australasian</i>—my +first to run as a serial in that paper. It is gone now, and was never +worth keeping, but as a story about the colony, written from within, +it aroused interest in its anonymous author at the time, amongst those +whose eyes were keen to note literary events, small as well as big. My +friend, "Rolf Boldrewood," had not yet received the worldwide +recognition that he now enjoys; he was a "Sydneysider," and supposed +to belong to his own colony. Poor "Tasma" had scarcely begun her brief +literary career; Mary Gaunt, and others now on the roll, were mostly +in their nurseries or unborn. So that I had the advantage of a stage +very much to myself, which of course accounted largely for the +attention I received. And of all the pleasure and profit that I +derived from my long connection with <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span>the Australian press, nothing +was more valuable to me than the uplifting sympathy of those readers I +have mentioned, who were also as fine critics as any in the world.</p> + +<p>The first night at B—— gave me the key of the position. The one +socially "great house" of our new parish entertained us. Its owner, an +old Wykehamist and cadet of a noble Scottish family, who, having +practically built the church, and being its main supporter, stood for +what would have been the patron of the living at home, himself fetched +us from Ballarat, driving the wonderful "four greys" that were as well +known as he was. Never shall I forget my first sight of that sweet old +house in its incomparable old garden—of the sunset from the plateau +along which we drove to it from the lodge gates, the picture that has +delighted me so many, many times. And never shall I forget my +reception, the dinner, the evening, the sensation of finding myself +suddenly and unexpectedly in a place where brains and good breeding +alone counted, and nothing else was of any consequence. From the hour +that I set foot in that house the situation, as it concerned me +personally, was completely changed. I found, if not my level, the +level which suited me.</p> + +<p>Another house of the charmed circle began to help to make life +interesting for us both. It lay within comfortable driving distance, +and its family had recently returned to it from extensive travels +about the world. The actual structure, to which I paid my first +visits, was a modest relic of the fifties, but already there was +arising from the crest-of a neighbouring hill the most desirable +country house, in its own style, then built or a-building—to my +thinking, at anyrate—the final dwelling-place of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span>the owner of the +surrounding land, who had been its owner from "before the gold." It +was after this home of taste had been completed that we held our +famous International Exhibition of 1880, which first taught us as a +community the rudiments of modern art; and I remember the satisfaction +with which the mistress of G—— wandered from court to court, and +found no exhibits more pleasing, in their respective classes, than the +treasures she had gathered for herself in foreign parts. Whether it +were a Persian rug or a Venetian wine-glass, her specimen was, in her +opinion, unsurpassed by any picked model of the like manufacture; in +which I agreed with her. There is no lack now of what are generally +described as artistic things; hundreds of Victorian homes, big and +little, may in the tastefulness of their appointments outshine G—— +to-day; but it was otherwise twenty years ago. At that date, when we +stay-at-homes were all for gold and white wall-paper and grass-green +suites (but the reader bears in mind that I put holland covers over +mine) in our drawing-rooms, I believe G—— was unique in the colony +as the first example of the new order. I may say here that we became +rapidly æsthetic afterwards, because it is our constant habit to +follow English fashions ardently as soon as we get an idea of what +they are.</p> + +<p>I had not been long in B—— before I heard of the flattering notice +excited by my story—<i>Up the Murray</i> was its name—and by the +discovery, on the part of our neighbours aforesaid, that the humble +author was living where she was. Arrangements, unbeknown to me, were +made for mutual introductions and acquaintanceship, and one day I was +invited to join a driving party from our "great <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span>house"—which I wish +I could describe in less vulgar terms (but to call it B—— would be +confusing)—to meet half-way upon the road a driving party from the +other. The day was beautiful, and I see now before my mind's eye the +panorama of the spring landscape. We halted on the brow of a hill—the +four greys dancing themselves into complicated knots and being +dramatically disentangled with the whip-thong—and down below the +carriage from G—— toiling up the stony Gap track towards us. How +well we learned that road afterwards, going to and fro continually +either in the vehicles of our friends or in our own. If I have ever +done anything to earn a respectable place in my profession I owe it to +the awakening and educating influences that surrounded me at this +time. My intellectual life was never so well-fed and fortified.</p> + +<p>Of Melbourne Society, so called, I knew little as yet. My "set" held +much aloof from it, gathering only its own affinities into the +charming house-parties that brought whiffs of the gay world to us from +time to time. Although I was now so near to it, I do not think I paid +one visit to the metropolis while we lived at B——; invitations I +had, but the inclination was lacking. I was satisfied as I was. We +made expeditions occasionally to Ballarat, then, as now, the second +city of our state, where a small group, long since vanished, of the +old families still resided, to attract our particular old family +thither, and where on our own account we had a few clerical and other +friends to welcome us. One of these expeditions was typical of +several.</p> + +<p>The date it stands against in my diary is September 10th, 1873—the +time of budding spring. Our "squire," with a part of his family, +arrived at <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span>the parsonage in the lovely morning, with the "old +carriage," as it was called—a deep-seated, roomy vehicle that I can +hardly give a name to, but which was the easiest and cosiest that I +ever rode in. G. and I joined the party, and we started on our long +drive. It took us about three hours if we did not stop by the way, but +these excursions would have been very incomplete without the roadside +picnic. Picnics were our joy, also our <i>forte</i>, and the country is +made for them. So we stopped when we met the groom who had been sent +ahead with fresh horses—the "old carriage" was heavy, and not built +for Australian roads—and we lunched under the gum-trees with that +exquisite appetite that we never know indoors. Then, at our leisure, +on again until we trundled into the streets of the golden city—which, +I may remark in passing, is a truly charming city, and to my mind +ought to be the Federal Capital, if only because of its cool and +bracing climate (although it is also almost exactly central for all +the states as well). But in discussing sites for the future +Washington, no one seems to take into account what an effect upon +legislation a languid air and mosquitoes of a night may have.</p> + +<p>We spent the balance of the afternoon shopping, and were then +deposited, with our evening clothes, at the house of one of the +historical few—perhaps the most witty and world-cultured of them all, +certainly the brightest company. He had been much in France, I think; +he spoke often of Paris, with the air and knowledge of a born +Parisian; his singing of French songs was as un-English as it could +be. It was always said of Colonel R. that he would never be old, and I +met him the other day on a tram, and in the course of our ride +together <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span>found him as mentally alert as ever, although he confessed +to me, with a comical dolefulness, that he was some years past eighty. +He still wore his smart, "well-groomed," gallant air (accent on the +first syllable of this adjective, please), and was as ready as of old +with his pretty compliments.</p> + +<p>We dined with him and his wife, and then went all together to the +Academy of Music (newly built) to hear Ilma de Murska. She was a +small, fair-haired, glittering person, with a frilly train like a pink +serpent meandering around her feet, and the way she trilled and +rouladed was amazing. After the concert we had a merry supper, and +then—by this time indifferent to the flight of the hours—changed our +clothes and prepared for the homeward drive. We had but one pair of +horses now for the whole journey, so that it was necessary to take the +hills at a walk, and we reached B—— at about four in the morning. We +inside the carriage could have slept almost as easily as in our beds, +but we were obliged to keep awake to watch the swaying bodies on the +box. It was funny to see us winding scarves round our squire's ample +waist, and tying him to the low rail behind him, without disturbing +his slumbers. These precautions would have been useless, however, had +not one of us stood ready to clutch his sleeve at critical moments. On +finding himself too sleepy for our safety, he had given the reins to +his little son, who was a perfectly competent substitute. But that it +was thought well to tie him into his seat to prevent them from +dragging him over the dashboard, he could at nine or ten years old +drive four horses so well that I preferred to trust myself to him +rather than to any casual man, if I was to ride behind them.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span>It was upon one of the hills between B—— and Ballarat that the +accident took place which impaired my health for many years; but then +no member of this family was driving. We had just started after our +picnic lunch on the second stage of the journey, and had come to the +top of a steep bit of road that had a sharp turn at the bottom, when +something went wrong with the brake. The huge, top-heavy vehicle—one +we called "the caravan"—ran upon the horses, which, as usual in Bush +harness, had no breeching to back against, and there was nothing for +it but to send them downhill at full gallop; they did their part, but +the sharp corner was too sharp for us, and as we swung round it we +swung right over. It seemed an inevitable thing, yet I am convinced +that our squire would not have allowed it to happen. He was taking a +brief rest inside the carriage, with the ladies, and so got a broken +arm and a dislocated shoulder, which, together with the disgrace of +the catastrophe, much incensed him. We used to get into marvellous +tight places under his devil-may-care handling of his notoriously +wild, half-broken horses, but never without coming safely out of them; +they were the occasions of proving what a miraculous whip he was. Once +a wheel came off when the team were in mid-career, and in the +twinkling of an eye he had so turned the other three wheels as to +balance the waggonette upon them until its occupants could get out. +One day four other horses were rushed up a broken hill track amongst +trees to some mine workings on the top, and as there was no turning +space here they had to come down backwards. We were showing the +country to some officers of an Italian man-o'-war, and the dumb +dignity with which those men went through the ordeal <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span>spoke volumes +for their breeding as well as for their nerve.</p> + +<br /> +<hr class="shorthr" /> +<br /> + +<p>But I feel clogged and dulled while talking of this place. I do not +want to go on talking of it, but to get past it to scenes that are not +forever associated with sorrows that do not bear thinking of. It was a +pleasant dwelling-place, indeed, but now it remains, even at so great +a distance off, but the stage setting of the second domestic tragedy, +so much more terrible than the first—the death of our eldest son when +he was five. He was one of those bright and beautiful children of whom +people say, when they are gone, "He was too good for this world," and +"He was not meant to live"—that was the first thing my friends said +to me, or I should know my place better than to thus speak of him; and +every year and day your child is with you adds that much more of +strength and depth to the love whose roots are the very substance of +the mother's heart; and the bitterest thing of all is the suffering +you cannot alleviate, and not to lose them at a stroke, which I had +thought so supremely dreadful. After ailing nothing all his life, he +took scarlet fever in its worst form, struggled against it with all +the power of his perfect constitution and brave and patient temper, +rallied and relapsed, got dropsy, and died by inches—conscious nearly +to the last, and only concerned for his mother's tears and the trouble +he was giving people. If he had been humanly restive under the agonies +that he must have borne I could myself have borne it better; it was +his heroic patience and unselfishness—that "Please," and "Thank you," +and "Don't mind," and "Don't cry" which only failed when he could no +longer force his tongue to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span>act—which seemed the most heart-breaking +thing of all. "If you had read of this in a book," they said who +helped to nurse him, "you would never have believed it;" and so I may +expect incredulity from the reader to whom I now have the bad taste to +tell the tale; but whenever I have thought of his conduct during that +last and only trial of his short life, I have realised to the full +what he would have been to us if he had lived. People say to me, "Oh, +you cannot tell how he might have turned out." But I can tell.</p> + +<p>Well, if he had lived he would have been a man of thirty now—married, +doubtless, and perhaps to some woman who would have made him wretched. +There is always that pitfall in the path of the best of men. Also the +success that must have attended the possession of such mental powers +as his would have been a danger. "Don't you teach that child anything +until he is seven at the least," our old German doctor was continually +warning us, and we did not; but somebody gave the child a box of +letters, and he could read the newspaper before he died. If you +recited to him, once, a long narrative poem—"Beth Gelert" or "The +Wreck of the Hesperus"—he would go off to his nurse or somebody and +repeat it from end to end, almost without a mistake. He had a passion +for mechanics, and, having seen a railway or mining or agricultural +engine at work, would come home and, with bits of string and +cotton-reels and any rubbish he could lay his hands on, make a model +of it in which no essential part was lacking. The frequent appeal at +the study door, "Just a few nails, please, daddy, and I won't 'sturb +you any more," was the nearest he came to teasing anybody.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span>Well, he died at five years old, and the common impulse of all who +knew him, including his fool of a mother, was to say, "Of course!" I +was childless for a fortnight. Then another little daughter came, as +it seemed, to save my life.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XI<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE FIFTH HOME</h4> +<br /> + +<p>We left B—— in 1877. The diocese of Ballarat had been carved out of +that of Melbourne, hitherto bounded by the boundaries of the colony; +and the knife had lopped off a portion of our parish, leaving only +enough to support a "reader," who is supposed not to want anything to +live on.</p> + +<p>We passed then into the new diocese. And, to begin with, we did a +stupid thing—possibly two stupid things. G., after consultation with +his bishop, accepted a living without seeing it. A charming photograph +of the parsonage, and the knowledge that it was situated in a pleasant +district, within a short drive of our then metropolis, Ballarat, +seemed to make a preliminary inspection unnecessary, especially as the +financial soundness of the parish was guaranteed. We had dismantled +our house at B—— and packed our furniture for L—— before personally +making acquaintance with the latter place. Then—for I was fretting to +see and rummage over my new home with a measuring tape in my hands—we +arranged to drive over. It was on a Saturday that we started, in very +wintry weather; and all our subsequent lives might have been different +if only it had been summer or a fine day.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span>We spent the night in Ballarat, and after breakfast drove to L——, +timing ourselves to get there for morning service, G. having taken +duty for the day. It teemed. There was hardly any congregation in +consequence, and the church was dark, cold, and dismal. Amongst the +absentees was the organist, and I was called upon to play the selected +music, without preparation, to a few watchful critics. They gave us a +kindly welcome after service, and invitations to dinner and tea; after +which we were able to inspect the parsonage in privacy. It had been +empty for some weeks, and rain had rained on it for days. The +picturesqueness of the photograph had been wholly washed away. We +should have made allowances for all this, but when we found one room +with the paper peeling from the wall, and another showing a wet patch, +and when we sniffed the fusty, mouldy, shut-up air, we exclaimed to +each other, "A damp house!" and there and then determined that it was +impossible for us to go into it. We had lost two children; nothing +should induce us to imperil the safety of the third.</p> + +<p>At dinner, and again at tea, our entertainers apologised for the +exceptional weather, and assured us that all was quite otherwise as a +rule. The parsonage needed fires for a few days, perhaps a patch on +the roof, possibly the clearing of leaves and birds' nests from the +water-pipes. They answered for it that, when in order, it was a +perfectly healthy house. I daresay they were right, for we never heard +that the family of the clergyman who subsequently jumped at it took +any harm while living there. But the possibility of its being damp was +enough for us; we dared not risk it.</p> + +<p>It was with some difficulty, and not without <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span>unpleasantness, that we +backed out of the engagement we had deliberately made. It was our +unexpected luck not to suffer more than we did. In the end, instead of +declining upon a lower level in the matter of the next appointment, it +fell to our lot to be promoted to what I think was considered at the +time the most important country parish in the diocese.</p> + +<p>Here, at anyrate, there was no fault to find with the parsonage house, +unless one objected to its lonely situation—which we did not. As a +parsonage house it was unique in Victoria, and I believe in Australia. +The wayfaring stranger might have taken it for but another station +homestead, on a smaller scale than most; as a fact, he frequently did, +in the person of the professional sundowner.</p> + +<p>We did not go there at once on leaving B——. Our first welcome was to +one of the "mansions" in its neighbourhood—the seat, as it might be +called, of the new squire of the parish—and such was the treatment we +received in it that we remained there as visitors for nearly half a +year. The lady of the house was young, and we became friends. She +said, "Why should I be here by myself, while you are over there by +yourself? Let us keep each other company." Never did I live in such +utter ease and luxury. Men and maid-servants to wait on one at every +turn, and to pet the year-old baby so that even her nurse found her +place a sinecure; a dear old housekeeper continually pursuing me with +"nourishment"; daily drives with my hostess, alone or with a cavalcade +of more ephemeral guests—so numerous that we seemed to have a +dinner-party every night; no domestic cares; no parish work—the +conditions were not only pleasant, but most beneficial to my health. +Meanwhile G. worked the parish from this <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span>base, using the horses and +buggies of the establishment as if they were his own.</p> + +<p>From July 25th, 1877, to January 8th of the following year, we lived +this feather-bed life. Then our friends set us gently down upon our +own premises—there had been a doubt as to whether they were to be our +own, up to this time, which partly accounted for the delay—and +started us in life again on our own base. A Brussels carpet from one, +a set of tea-things from another—it was like the going to +housekeeping of the newly-married. The buggy that finally took us to +our fifth home was found on arrival packed with toothsome tokens of +affection which the housekeeper had stuffed in at the last moment.</p> + +<p>That fifth home was a survival of the old, old times—quite the +beginnings of the colony. In those old times, before townships were, +the princely pioneer squatters (our late host the chief), wishing to +have their church represented amongst them, made a first gift for the +purpose of one hundred acres of their fat lands and a house—the +nucleus of this house. It was an inalienable endowment, not to any +parish—for there was none—but to the incumbent for the time being; +so that afterwards, when it came to belong to a parish, whose centre +of town and church was six miles off, the vestry could not turn it +into money, as they desired, so as to bring their parson to +headquarters.</p> + +<p>The first incumbent—a D.D. eminent in the Church and in the history +of the Western District, a pioneer himself, whose name is now +perpetuated in a Trinity College scholarship—began his long ministry +as a missionary at large. He saw all the changes that turned that +fertile wilderness into the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span>garden of Victoria, studded with wealthy +homesteads and prosperous towns, while sitting, as Dik would say, upon +his own valuable bit of it, living the same pastoral life as the +squatters around him. The reader will remember that the term +"squatter," with us, means roughly the landed gentry; in its original +sense the word has no meaning now.</p> + +<p>In his old age Dr R. went "home" for a holiday, leaving two curates in +charge. Shortly before he was expected back, came the news of his +death, and, after a sorrowful time of inaction on the part of the +mourning parish, G. was selected to take his place. It was always +impressed upon us that it was to take his place, not to fill it, which +nobody could do.</p> + +<p>For six years we lived as he lived. Then the authorities six miles off +decided to put an end to the old <i>régime</i>. Incumbent No. 3 had to be +brought into line with other incumbents somehow. His property could +not be sold, but apparently (with his consent, I presume) it could be +let; for let it was, as soon as we had vacated it. Tenants of a class +to suit the house needed more than a hundred acres of land with it, so +it was let to a farmer, an ex-free-selector, whose selection adjoined. +He took up his abode in what we called the "old part"—the original +house (our kitchens, store-rooms, etc.), to which, according to Bush +custom, another and better had been attached, the two being connected +by a planked, bark-roofed, trellis-walled passage; and he used my +drawing-room and our other living-rooms to stack his produce in. And +the parson went to live in the town, beside his church—in a +corrugated iron house that was run up for him.</p> + +<p>I am glad it was he—not his predecessor. There <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span>is no ill-nature in +this, seeing that he doubtless congratulated himself also. For he +could get daily letters and newspapers, immediate access to the +stores, the schools, the church, the doctor, and next-door neighbours; +whereas we were often in straits owing to our six miles' distance from +them. Between us and the road lay a (to us) bridgeless river—it is +called a river—which it was necessary to pass to get to church and +back, and at the best of times its banks at the crossing-place were so +steep down and up again that I dreaded the spot on a dark night, after +going through it in safety hundreds of times, and after all the +breaking-in to such things that I had had. Its flood-water used to +overflow into what we called our "lane," the unavoidable approach to +the house, covering the fences on either side in the lower parts, +which between-whiles were either soft bogs or rough ruts and ridges +like those of a frosted ploughed field. Owing to these lions in the +path, we had few visitors in winter. In summer there were Bush +fires—of which I will say more presently.</p> + +<p>Then there were long waits for the doctor in dire emergencies, and +per-mile fees (if the doctor were non-Church-of-England, or you could +successfully save yourself from taking charity) for his tardy +attendance. Our groom nearly killed a pair of horses one night—when a +commonplace domestic event was impending—trying to make them do +twelve miles in time that would but comfortably cover four. One day my +nurse and I found a white speck on the throat of the youngest baby, +when no man or buggy or even wood-cart was at home. While I looked at +my devoted colleague in despair she began briskly to gather and tie on +our respective hats. "We have to get him to the doctor somehow," said +she. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span>And off we started, and carried him (he was then twenty-one +months old), turn and turn about, the whole six miles, all up-hill, +since there was practically no alternative. As it chanced, the doctor, +when we got to him—dead beat as ever women were—laughed at the +baby's throat; but the incident illustrates some of the drawbacks of +our isolated life which were not suffered by our successors.</p> + +<p>Household supplies had to be laid in wholesale—sacks of sugar and +flour, chests of tea, boxes of kerosene and candles. We had to make +our own bread, and our own yeast for it; we had to kill our own mutton +and dress it; gather our own firewood and chop it. This meant keeping +a man (for the first time); beside whom we had a general servant, a +nurse, and a young lady companion.</p> + +<p>The kitchen party were not at all lonely in these wilds. They had +friends on the neighbouring stations and farms, with whom they +foregathered in their leisure hours; they had many picnics and +excursions to the town; they gave a ball every Christmas (which rather +scandalised a section of the parish, although the rigid etiquette +observed at them might have been copied with advantage in higher +circles), and were tendered balls in return. At ordinary times they +seemed sufficient for themselves. Sitting in my detached house of an +evening, I would hear cheerful sounds from the other building, and, +being mysteriously summoned thither, would find the groom, with his +concertina, playing reels and jigs for the little ones to dance to, +the dancing-mistresses standing by to enjoy the achievements of their +pupils and the surprise they had prepared for me.</p> + +<p>A new member was added to the household in a singular manner. The +selectors with families needed <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span>a school. To get a school, Government +had to be assured that so many children—twenty-five or +thereabouts—were entitled to it; and the parents came to ask if we +would aid them to make up the number. Our three were babies, and we +certainly did not mean to foist them on the State for their education, +but we somehow reconciled it with our consciences to sign the +requisition on our poorer neighbours' behalf. Thus they got their +school—a tiny white wooden building, and one teacher. The building, +consisting of schoolroom and teacher's quarters, was set up on the +public highway, just outside our outer gate, on the bank of the +so-called river (where the bridge was), a night camping-place of all +the teamsters and drovers on the road; and the teacher appointed to +live there, beyond call of any other house, was a good-looking young +woman.</p> + +<p>She came to us one day in great distress—perplexity, rather, for she +was far too sensible to make a fuss. She could not, under the +circumstances, live alone in her school quarters, and she had tried in +vain to find lodgings in the farmers' cottages: they were all too +small and full. What should she do?</p> + +<p>She was an extremely nice girl, and, finding we could solve her +difficulty in no other way, we took her in ourselves. Strange to say, +the experiment answered admirably. In the servants' house there was a +large spare room, which had once been Dr R.'s study. We put a screen +across the middle of it, made a bedroom behind and a simple +sitting-room in front, and there installed her. She attended to her +own little housework, and the servants took her in her meals from the +adjacent kitchen—a job to which they had no objection in the world; +and she used <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span>to sit in her basket-chair on their common verandah and +pass the time of day with them when so inclined, and adjusted herself +to the position generally with perfect taste, just as they did. To us +personally she made no difference whatever, except in her services to +the children. She paid us the trifle that covered the cost of her +board, and as a further return for hospitality took the two older +little ones to school with her once a day, taught and specially +shepherded them while there, and brought them back again. So, by +accident, we kept faith with the Government after all; and anything +like the rapidity and thoroughness with which all the drudgery of the +three R's was got through in that little school-house I never saw. I +used to walk over the paddock of an afternoon to see the process. We +made a new track across the paddock with our goings and comings, the +home-returning before nursery tea being usually a family procession, +led by the baby's perambulator. We were amused one wet winter to find +Miss C. and her charges making a bridge of a bullock's carcase that +conveniently spanned a muddy rift. They went over it, they said, until +the ribs bent too much and threatened to "let them through."</p> + +<p>Besides the milking cows of the establishment, we always had a herd of +bullocks on the place. We bought them as "store," intending to sell +them as "fats"—intending, indeed, to make our fortunes as land-owners +and cattle-dealers. Our hundred acres were notoriously one of the rich +patches of the district, coveted by our wealthy neighbours as badly as +ever Ahab coveted Naboth's vineyard; anything could be made of it—on +paper.</p> + +<p>Alas! the usual fate of the amateur farmer befell us. Perhaps we were +not there long enough. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span>Certainly we had the worst of luck in the +matter of seasons. It was one long series of droughts, punctuated by +those floods already alluded to, which came at the wrong time to +benefit the grass. The store cattle would not make fat, on which we +could make profit; the precious "water-frontage," when it became a +rope of sand threaded with water-holes, unfenced one side of the +property, allowing the stock to stray at large. The stock, also, by +degrees became largely composed of unproductive horses, those +happening to be G.'s special weakness and temptation. He had an +assortment, continually being added to, for his own riding, and we had +two concurrent pairs for the buggy; the groom had one or two for his +constant journeys to the post, and there was one for the wood-cart. +They were for ever going to be shod, or they met with accidents and +had to be replaced. The most valuable that we ever possessed was +pricked in the haunch with a point of fencing wire—a wound almost +invisible to the naked eye—and died of lockjaw from it.</p> + +<p>Finally, we let fifty acres to a real farmer at £1 per acre. He +strongly fenced this off, and grew lovely crops of corn on it. And I +think that was about all the "increment" we enjoyed.</p> + +<p>Here we learned something of what Bush settlers have to suffer in our +frequent years of drought. We had a large underground rain tank, with +a pump to it, but there were times when it seemed a perfect sin to +wash. Our selector neighbours had only their zinc tanks and the +river—muddy, and fouled by creatures alive and dead; and the nurse +and children used to make it an object of their summer evening walks +to carry little cans of water to their friends, to make at least one +nice cup of tea with. It was <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span>regarded as a handsome present. Hydatids +raged over the country-side. Two of our servants (who married each +other, and went to live at the school-house by the river, in Miss C.'s +empty quarters) were crippled with the disease.</p> + +<p>"The reservoiring of rain-water is the greatest economic question in +South Africa," says the Subaltern in those charming <i>Letters to His +Wife</i>. "At present little or nothing is done to combat drought." The +same here, to the very word and letter. Another thing he says:—"After +all, it is the atmospheric conditions that make the veldt, and give +their character to its children." That applies as exactly to the +Australian Bush.</p> + +<p>A young soldier of ours came home from the war the other day. He had +been in seventy-five engagements, and might reasonably have felt a +little sick of South Africa. But no. "When it is all over, I am going +back there to settle," said he. "The climate and the country—somehow +they just suit me."</p> + +<p>Those hills around us, in formation like bread-dough turned out upon +the board and just beginning to sink—low and softly wavy, like the +Sussex Downs—were as good as tropical seas for the sun to set on, and +better. Such lights! Such tints! Such purity! Apply to them the +Subaltern's description of the uplands of the Orange River Colony—of +the sunset that he saw as he rode to Bloemfontein—and there you are. +I need not add a word.</p> + +<p>We were very close to Nature at this place. The wild things lived with +us even more intimately than at Como. Opossums did not keep to the +river; they loved the fruity old garden, and stuck to it in spite of +dogs and guns. Driving home o' <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span>nights we used to see them sitting on +the house roofs, silhouetted against the sky, and they used to keep us +awake with their talk to each other in a tree near our bedroom window. +On one occasion we were roused by the nurse calling to us that a +'possum had come down the chimney, and was flying round the nursery +and smashing everything. A candle and a stick soon ended the career of +that enterprising little animal.</p> + +<p>We had all the birds of the country flighting over us in the grey +dawns and the golden twilights. The lovely gabble of the cranes and +the wild swans comes back to me whenever I think of the place. My +diary records that on one occasion we had a young native companion, +"roast, with forcemeat," for dinner, and that it was "delicious." Also +that, two days later, we experimented upon a swan, and found it "not +so good." The gun, of course, went out for duck and snipe and quail in +their season, to vary the too-constant mutton. They were not easy to +get, for this is no true game country, but those huge sheep stations, +with their lonely dams, were practically wild country for them.</p> + +<p>In the elbow of the river at the corner of our paddock we used to +watch for the platypus, which had a home there, under the broken +banks. Four of these precious rarities were shot in the six years—we +are sorry for that now, but were proud of it at the time—and the +house smelt horribly while their dense, oily coats were being stripped +off and dressed. The same river provided a beautiful set of furs for +my friend at M——; they were made of the golden-brown skins of +water-rats, caught and cured for her by her butler. There, too, we +used to sit amid the evening mosquitoes, and angle for <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span>black-fish and +"yabbies." It was a corner much beloved by school-boys of our +acquaintance with Saturday afternoons or long twilights upon their +hands. One young fellow, the son of a lawyer in the town, spent many +patient hours there, all alone; but we, prolonging his enjoyment by +the offer of a meal or a bed, would sometimes look on at his tranquil +sport, amused by his methods. When he needed to bait a hook, he bent +the crown of his head earthward and took off his cap gingerly, +afterwards combing his rough locks with his grubby paw. He kept his +worms there, between his cap lining and his hair; it saved the trouble +of a bait-can. When he caught a fish, he slipped it into his pocket, +where it tangled itself with his handkerchief and oddments in its +dying throes. We were somewhat nicer in our proceedings. Neat little +blobs of meat at the end of strings were let down into the water, and +when the tiny cray-fish fastened upon them they were lifted delicately +into the air, the whole art consisting in not frightening them into +dropping off until the bank was under them. Nothing messy or murderous +or offensive to the sensibilities of women and children—until the +black creatures were boiled red for tea or breakfast, and that was +done by the cook in private, and we tried not to know anything about +it. A few dozens of them, warm from the pot, with bread and butter, +made a delicious meal.</p> + +<p>But Nature took toll of us in return for what she gave. Eagle-hawks, +that hankered after the lambs, and their lesser brethren that were +interested in the poultry, hares that loved young vegetables with the +morning dew upon them, nocturnal wildcats, and the tame cats gone wild +that were far worse than they—for them, too, the gun was kept in +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span>readiness, and, alas! I grieve to say, the trap. Once we had an +extraordinary visitation of caterpillars; a dense, enormous mass, +marching straight in one direction, taking everything as it came. We +were in its path, and, until it had disentangled itself from the +premises, were simply overwhelmed. We barricaded all doors and +windows; we tried, like so many Mrs Partingtons, to sweep back the +living waves with brooms—in vain; those little, soft, green things +were as irresistible as the sea. We ran about, shuddering and in +tears, while they crawled up legs and arms, and down necks, and +amongst our hair; we went into the dairy to find them lining roofs and +walls and drowning all over the cream in every milk-pan—went to bed +to find sheets and pillows thick with them. No plague of Egypt could +have been more agonising while it lasted, which, fortunately, was not +long. They did not even stay to eat the garden up, as the grasshoppers +did when similarly out on a big march. Some end they had in view and +pursued relentlessly, without a pause. It was a phenomenon never, in +my experience, repeated or explained.</p> + +<p>But the terror of terrors was—fire. The land was rich, the years were +droughty, and we the innocent victims of a systematic incendiarism +directed against somebody else. The somebody else was like the Russian +Government, all palace and diamonds at the top and all black bread and +taxes at the bottom; or like the Government that we here groan under, +which acts upon the theory that the more you cut down trade the more +money you will get out of it. A station that "marched" with our +Naboth's vineyard had a black mark against it.</p> + +<p>Why does the Australian pastoralist provide free <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span>board and lodging +for every loafer that comes for them, instead of kicking him out and +telling him to go to work? Because he knows how easily and safely the +loafer could avenge himself if sent empty away—and how well the +loafer knows that he knows it. There is a tacit understanding between +them. The wise blackmailer is easy in his demands—the regulation +allowance and no more—and the blackmailed is glad to purchase +valuable good-will at no greater cost. It is one of the oldest +institutions of the country, which even we upon our hundred acres +would not have dared to flout. Our wealthy but frugal neighbour did, +as we were told, and reaped the consequences—which would not have +mattered much if the undeserving poor had not stood in the path of the +reaper. Thus, for weeks together, G. and his man never put up their +horses at night until they had circled round and round the place, +looking for little trails of dead sticks and straw carefully led into +a fat paddock that was not ours, as a fuse to a mine. One Sunday +night, on the way home from church, without looking for them—because +they were all alight, though refusing to burn effectively without a +wind—he found three.</p> + +<p>This was in what we call the "fire year." That summer we had ten in +almost ten consecutive days, each of which menaced the mass of old +sun-dried woodwork in which we lived. Two horses stood ready to mount +at the first signal, every homestead around being similarly prepared. +We slept with blinds up and windows open, and anyone waking would at +once jump up and go out and look into the night for the dreaded flare. +No matter where it was, or when, the men were off to it with the speed +of professional firemen; and if it was near, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span>or the wind towards us, +we women started to make bucketsful of tea to send out to them. +Helpless with a new-born baby, I used to lie and smell the smoke and +listen to the flap of the bags, and wonder what was happening, and +nearly died from want of rest. One morning one of us unluckily +remarked that "actually here was breakfast nearly over, and no fire!" +Scarcely were the words uttered before the groom appeared with his +"Fire, sir!" and the next instant both were galloping across the +downs, to join other horsemen converging from all points of the +compass upon the same spot. It was Saturday morning, and that battle +lasted into Sunday, when we could have walked, we were told, ten miles +in a straight line from our back door without going off burnt ground. +One other morning, when I was well enough for a drive and wanted to do +some shopping, and it seemed safe to leave home for an hour or two, G. +took me to the township. We were hurrying through our business in the +street when a man came up and said to G., "There's a fire over your +way, sir." We had a pair of very fast horses, and we flew down those +hills in record time. Reaching home, we found our good neighbours +pouring water over the charred posts of the garden fence.</p> + +<p>Of course, this was not all incendiarism. Even the aggrieved sundowner +is not so bad as that. Under suitable conditions, nothing is easier +than to start a blaze that flies out of your hand before you see the +spark. A castaway bottle, a little ash knocked out of a pipe, will do +it. My own eyes have proved to me from what a small cause a great +conflagration may result. A cavalcade <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span>of vehicles from M——, while +we were staying there, was on the road to church; it was a well-used, +fenced Bush road, all dust and wild peppermint weed—a fire-break in +itself, one would have thought. But I, in the second buggy, saw a +flicker under the wheel of the first; it ran from one scrap of tinder +to another and was away over the country before one could draw breath. +"Like wildfire" is the best image for speed that I know. It used to +pour over those grassy rises just as released water does, a spreading +black stream with a scintillating yellow edge; not a menace to life as +in forest country, but sickening to the heart of one who knows his +home to windward of it, and knows the frailty of the most +carefully-prepared "break." The buggies were stopped, the men in their +Sunday coats out and after it on the instant, but there was no church +that day for any male of the party except the parson. An examination +of the spot where the fire started showed that the buggy wheel had +passed over a wax match. The unwritten law of the Bush is that no +matches must come into it, at these times, except the wooden ones +guaranteed to strike on the box only.</p> + +<p>The "fire year"—or the fire summer rather (1879-80)—is literally +burnt into my memory. Now, when I smell Bush smoke I feel as I would +at the sudden sight of blood in large quantities. All those old scenes +come back, and the old terror of the nerves, which were strained so +long that the effect upon me was something like what in pre-scientific +days was called going into a decline. My strength refused to return +after the birth of the child that arrived in the middle of the ordeal, +so that at last I had to be sent away out of sight, sound, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span>smell +of the place, to give me a chance to recover. But the worst was over +before I went. We were sitting at tea one night—evening dinners, by +the way, had early been given up—when there suddenly fell upon our +ears the sound of rain pattering. We nearly jumped from our chairs; we +looked at each other, beyond speech; and then I burst into a fit of +hysterical tears—some of the happiest I ever shed.</p> + +<p>In the evening a neighbour rode over—for the first time, as he +remarked, without his sack on the saddle, and for the first time on +any errand unconnected with its use. We had all been keeping guard of +our homes for weeks that had seemed years, friends meeting only on the +field of battle—as heroic a field of battle as those that our +"contingenters" went to, and better than the playing-fields of Eton as +a preparation for them; but we were free at last. And we could hardly +realise it. All the evening we sat, almost in silence, inanely +smirking at each other and listening to the rain. It was too sweet a +sound to drown with talk.</p> + +<p>The "old parsonage" was (allowing again for the enchantment that +distance lends) a charming home; but it had that against it. I have +been glad ever since to live where there is nothing more to do than +turn the gas off at the meter when one goes to bed.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XII<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE SIXTH HOME</h4> +<br /> + +<p>The charms of solitude at "The Old Parsonage" were outweighed by its +disadvantages when I became that miserable creature, the confirmed +invalid. The fire danger which made me nervous in summer was bad for +health; the silence and loneliness of the winters, when nobody came, +were worse. My husband, of course, was much away from home; the +servants lived in their detached house; and so good and capable were +they that for a time—after the elder babies began to go with Miss C. +to school—I saved the expense of my dear little lady-help, who, +however, came back to me later on. It was only with the greatest +difficulty that I could get hold of my own children. Their devoted +nurse and mine, already mentioned, watched us like a cat to keep us +apart, lest their exuberance should fatigue me. The hour before tea +(not afternoon tea, but the solid evening meal) was grudgingly +conceded to us. Maria—she, like Dik, is dead, and I may give her the +name now held in so much love and honour—would then bring them, +beautifully brushed and garbed (she used to put clean socks and +pinafores on them twice a day, although there was nobody but ourselves +to see them), to my sofa side, and permit us to play together, +provided we behaved ourselves. All the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span>while she hovered in the +doorway to see that I was not clambered over or roughly handled in any +way, and long before time was up would advance to sweep them out, with +her "Come now, I can see that mother is getting tired." She saw it +before I did. They were as good as gold, thanks to her splendid +training. Never were such model children—until the day that, as a +broken-hearted bride, she parted from them, when they "played up" in a +manner to drive the house distracted. When they had their little aches +and pains, and I used to beg Maria to let them sleep in my room, she +would not allow it. Many a time have I surreptitiously carried a +fretful child to my bed, and settled down with it comfortably, as I +thought, and then had it gently but firmly taken from me, despite my +expostulations. I had, at anyrate, the comfort of knowing that no +mother could tend them better than she did, and the theory of the +household that I was not strong enough to stand anything had some +foundation in fact. But my inactive life—although I still got through +a large amount of sewing and novel-writing—and my many hours of +brooding solitude, had their own bad effect upon my broken health. +There came a day when I declared, with tears, that if I had to spend +another winter in that place I should go melancholy mad.</p> + +<p>So I did not spend another. G. also had had enough of it. And +particularly he wanted to get back to the Melbourne diocese, from +which he had been automatically expelled. But although he had been +automatically expelled, his old diocese held him to be a legal +stranger when he applied for re-admittance. It had a regulation, since +abrogated, that no clergyman from outside could take a living until he +had served unbeneficed for a year; and no exception <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span>was made in his +peculiar case. However, we freely paid the price to get our +way—exchanged our substantial parish, secure for life, had we so +willed it, for a humble curacy, which might lead to anything or +nothing—and on the 16th of November 1883 left the old parsonage for a +home that was the greatest possible contrast to it—a grubby little +terrace house in a low part of one of our premier cities—a house we +had to take as the only one in our new parish that was then available. +Our principal occupation and amusement during the short time that we +lived there was hunting for another, which fortunately we had not +found when the summons came to us again to move on.</p> + +<p>But there was an interval between the uprooting in the Western +District and the re-planting in this cramped spot—for the children +and me. The elder ones were placed with some friends who kept a +kindergarten at the seaside, and the baby and Maria accompanied me on +a round of visits which lasted into January of the following year. +This was perhaps the gayest period of my life, in spite of increasing +invalidism. Socially it was the most brilliant era that Victoria has +known in my time, and I was so placed that the best of everything came +my way. The house that was my town head-quarters for many years then +possessed its magnet of a daughter—now on the roll of the grandees of +England, by her marriage an aunt to Royalty—and wherever she was, +there was good company and plenty of it, for she had her pick and +choice. And there for the time being was I also, for we were close +friends, as we remain to this day, none of the usual arguments of the +world against it having had any effect upon that faithful heart.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span>And this reminds me to make—as in these intimate disclosures I have +an opportunity to do—a little explanation. When I wrote a novel +called <i>The Devastators</i>, I knew that I was laying down a rule +contradicted in my own circle by two glaring exceptions. This bright +and beautiful woman is one of them; the other is a person still nearer +to me. I had to apologise to both of them when that book came out. +From their childhood they have been exposed to flatteries that should +have spoiled them utterly; both have proved unspoilable. In the case +of one of the pretty faces, it does not even care to look at itself in +the glass; the mere ordinary vanity of the ordinary female is lacking. +So that to this large extent my theory of the effect of physical charm +upon its possessor is discredited. While I am glad to state the fact, +I am sorry to remain of the opinion that such exceptions are +exceptions, and that the rule is still the rule.</p> + +<p>With the elder of the incorruptible pair—the younger was then a small +child—I had great times in Melbourne, varying my social revels with a +visit to the doctor twice or thrice a week. The distinguished +globe-trotter was plentiful at that time. Lord and Lady Rosebery, +amongst others, were touring the colonies and the houses of some of my +friends. At one I spent three days with them. At another I had a still +more interesting week-end with Archibald Forbes. He came nearest to +the popular newspaper presentment of him, but I have little faith left +in printed history when it deals with the inner lives of my +illustrious contemporaries; from which it logically follows that I am +a hopeless sceptic in respect of the printed history of the past. "It +may have been thus," think I, when I con the so-called <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span>authentic +records of my race in this or that particular, "but I wish I could +have been there to see for myself."</p> + +<p>It is not for me, a fellow-guest, to play reporter, but some incidents +of those occasions when I could study England and Australia in +conjunction upon the domestic stage may be mentioned without offence +to taste or hospitality. For instance:—One fine afternoon the +house-party, which included the Roseberys, went out to the tennis +ground of the establishment. When we arrived there we found the +beautiful grass court, kept like a bowling green, in the possession of +a crowd of strangers, holiday trippers of the 'Arry and 'Arriet type; +they had invaded the grounds from the railway near by, had found +racquets and balls, and were in the middle of an exciting game. Did +they scurry away, scared, on the appearance of the smart folks from +the house? Did anybody order them off, or even request them to desist? +Not a bit of it. They calmly continued their game, which took a long +time, while we sat down meekly and waited. When they had quite done +they trooped away without a word, and then Lord Rosebery wearily took +up his racquet and started in. Typically Australian as this incident +was, I cannot imagine it happening to those older great houses spoken +of in a former chapter—houses of no particular size, as far as their +material fabric is concerned, and with no liveried servants attached +to them, but of a dignity secure of public respect, even in this +disrespectful country.</p> + +<p>Male house-servants, by the way, and men's valets, seem to me quite +out of harmony with the domestic traditions of this land. With us they +mark no caste, save that of wealth, and belong mainly to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span>those who do +not know what to do with them. I have sat at breakfast with a regiment +of men in full-dress livery in waiting round the table—a degree of +state that, to the best of my belief, an English duke dispenses +with—and this in a house with no morning-room to go to when breakfast +was over, but only the same gilded and satiny drawing-room used +over-night; and where guests who had never done such a thing in their +lives might find themselves put to sleep in the same room with +strangers. A young titled Englishman, to whom this happened, cut his +acquaintance with the place in consequence, although his entertainers +never knew it. My "old families" are very chary of these exotic +innovations, and, whatever one's aristocratic leanings, it does hurt +one to think of an Australian man—synonym for simple and hardy +manliness—submitting to be dressed and coddled by a trousered +lady's-maid, and to think of another Australian man condescending to +that sort of servitude. But no Australian man does condescend to it, I +am sure; the Australian valet, as well as his liveried house-mates, is +an imported article.</p> + +<p>Against the lady's-maid in petticoats, who outnumbers him a hundred to +one, I have nothing to say—quite the contrary. She is a "grateful and +comforting" institution in this country, so far as I have known her, +and three representatives of her class are on my list of friends. I +like a lady's-maid myself at times, and my own Maria took up the +<i>rôle</i> as one to the manner born when she and I were visiting "the +quality" together. She packed and unpacked, and sewed tuckers, and +laid out my evening clothes, and was as jealous of my dignity and her +own, amongst strange servants, as if we had <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span>been grandees all our +lives. I was envied the possession of her. "How do you come to have a +woman like that?" said a person of wealth and consequence to me one +day. "Why doesn't she go to the good houses? She would be snapped up +anywhere. She could command any wages she liked to ask." "Well," said +I, with a serene smile, "you offer her a better place. I will not +stand in her way if she likes to take it." Maria's father was overseer +of a great station, and she had never been in service until she came +to me. I knew no bribe short of a husband and home of her own would +entice her to leave me.</p> + +<p>Charming associations surround the spot where I foregathered with the +great war correspondent. There is a Mount—for it is not quite a +mountain, while it is much more than a hill—situated forty-four miles +from Melbourne and about seventeen hundred feet above it. In its +natural state every inch was covered with forest trees and scrub, so +that our mutual friend and host, who was one of the first to make a +residential suburb of it, had to chop out a hole in the dense growth +upon the steep hill-side to see where he was, when prospecting for a +site on which to make a home. That home, when I began to frequent it, +had become the show-place of the district. The pretty house made no +pretensions to be more than a cottage, but the garden was notoriously +one of the loveliest in the land. Its owner was a gardener born; he +came up twice a week to his family from his business in town and his +bachelor quarters at the Melbourne Club, and revelled in his darling +pursuit through all his leisure hours. His head gardener was an +importation from famous gardens at home; he had a salary of £200 a +year, a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span>house in the grounds, and two men under him; and all their +work was exquisite. The garden dropped down and down, from the terrace +that had been cut for the house to stand on, to an artificial lake at +the bottom—velvet lawns and precious trees and shrubs, with a "fern +gully" on one side of it, where you stepped down a glade dark with +arching fronds, protecting thickets of innumerable rare varieties, +from New Zealand and elsewhere, kept moist and cooled by a perennial +cascade of crystal-clear mountain water, punctuated at intervals by +pools with goldfish or water-flowers in them. In the spring that fairy +tunnel was carpeted with lilies of the valley in myriads—the only +place where I have seen them growing in this country, except in +flower-pots. Up under the verandah roofs red bells of lapageria used +to hang like a drapery, and the treasures of the unpretentious glass +houses into which the sitting-rooms opened were beyond count. It was a +fitting environment for one of the finest flower-painters of her +day—known far beyond the limits of these realms, as, indeed, so is +the place which reared her. Many a globe-trotter would recall it if he +chanced to read these words. The Prince of Wales and his brother, when +they were boys, stayed here; their noble chief took the opportunity to +choose a wife for himself out of the house, a sister of the gifted +lady who painted flowers so marvellously, and with whom Archibald +Forbes fell—in a strictly platonic fashion, of course, for she was +already married and he about to become so for the second time—so +deeply in love. He raved about her in an English magazine article +after he got home. He said she was ... but there is the article (in a +bound volume) to speak for itself.</p> + +<p>It was winter when I went to this house to meet <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span>him. Beautiful as the +place was in warmer seasons, abloom with flowers, when one sat under +trees to read, and, looking up from one's book, looked down again upon +the glimmering city and the sea fifty miles away, I think it was in +winter that I liked it best. Oh, it was cold! Wrapped about with +mountain mists or with whirling snow, it was like an Alpine <i>chalet</i>; +but one came in out of this weather to great wood-fires with cushioned +basket-chairs beside them—a fire to each room—and that was an effect +that could not have been surpassed. It poured with rain on the night I +speak of. I was staying at a neighbouring country-house, and joined +the Saturday party coming up from town at a wayside station. A son of +my host, who had been through the Russo-Turkish war with Archibald +Forbes—one on one side, one on the other—was with them; and fine +company they made, with their deadly reminiscences. They had met on +the bloody field of Plevna, the most vivid incident of which, it +appeared, was a banquet upon a looted German sausage (I think it was) +when both were starving.</p> + +<p>We passed, in dripping mackintoshes, across the little platform lonely +in the scrub—there is a considerable station there now, and the Mount +is populous with country-houses—to the covered waggonette awaiting +us. Up the steep and miry Bush track, then like any other Bush track, +the poor horses strained and struggled, slipped and fell. The men had +to get out and do the climb on foot. It was pitchy dark, and the trees +closed us round. But presently we turned in at a gate and passed +through the perfect garden to the lighted house—the blazing bedroom +fire to dress by, the glowing drawing-room hearth to gather around +afterwards, the exhilarating <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span>dinner and evening talk. Mr Forbes had +just come from New Zealand, and that country had enchanted him. He had +roamed the earth—Switzerland, Norway, the Rockies, the Yosemite, all +the famous beauty spots—but never, he declared, had he seen anything +to match New Zealand scenery. A coach drive through the Otira Gorge +had simply turned his head. The husband of the flower-painter had +captained British troops in the Maori wars, and the house happened to +possess a fine collection of New Zealand photographs, bound in several +volumes. These I spent a long Sunday morning over, while Mr Forbes +descanted upon the pages as I turned them. I made a promise to myself +and him that not many years should pass before I saw the originals of +those pictures, but—as a matter of course—I have not seen them yet. +In my sadder moments I am convinced that I never shall. There was no +church upon the mountain then—only a little school-house where, on +alternate Sunday afternoons, an Anglican clergyman took a turn with +his Presbyterian brother; on such occasions we ladies of the house +brushed through the bracken-fern and woodland scrub to the humble +tabernacle. My hostess played the harmonium; the potential Personage +of the family led the singing. But on this wet and wintry Sunday we +stayed at home. I had much friendly intercourse with our chief guest, +and we corresponded afterwards. This was about four months before the +gay time which included the Rosebery episode.</p> + +<p>The diversions of that gay time soon palled upon me. I was glad to +exchange my camp in town—lap of love as well as luxury though it +was—for a home of my own, however 'umble. We <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span>collected ourselves in +the little terrace house, which managed to hold us, a governess for +the children included; and as soon as she had made us as comfortable +as she could, Maria's ill-used young man came for her, and we lost a +friend who could never be replaced. The 20th of February 1884 was her +wedding-day, and no obsequies were ever celebrated with more pangs and +tears.</p> + +<p>Miss P., the new governess, was a treasure notwithstanding. A curate +brother (he is a portly canon now), who wanted her for his +housekeeper, reft her from me three months afterwards; and she is +married, I hear, this long time, and I hope the man who has got her +appreciates his luck. She had a handful with those children after +Maria's influence was removed, but the way she managed them (in that +confined space) made me envious of her moral vigour and the texture of +her nerves.</p> + +<p>When they were all disposed of for the night she and I used to take +walks together. In my state of health, especially in the hot +weather—and that was a particularly hot place—dressing and calling +were too much for me; I waited until after dark, and then went out in +about three garments, the most delightful costume that I ever wore in +my life, and one to which I look back now with regret and longing +unspeakable. Oh, why can we not relieve the inescapable fatigue of +life in that way always, and not only for a few brief hours in thirty +years! It was the heavenly fashion then to wear a long, light, loose +paletot of China silk—the early dust-coat, before it had been +spoiled. It buttoned at the throat and all down the front to the hem, +which cleared the ground by about three inches. It had roomy pockets +outside; the sleeves were roomy <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span>also; there was no need to wear a +dress under it, nor anything whatever round the waist. I did not, and +so walked with the sensations (as I should imagine them) of a +disembodied spirit.</p> + +<p>Night after night, in this delicious liberty, we roamed that city +everywhere. It is a big city—the third in the state—with its due +proportion of dens and slums, of drunks and larrikins, but there was +not a hole or corner that we feared or had cause to fear. She, calm, +strong, protective, was the man of the pair; I, with my hand on her +arm, could wish no better. It was our joy to wander in the most +out-of-the-way places, and to find a new one if possible every night. +We watched trains from black railway embankments; we sat in the public +gardens away from lamps and out of call of people; we poked into blind +alleys and prowled over deserted mines—and we were never molested or +annoyed by anybody or anything. One day we read, with high +indignation, a letter in the newspaper which represented the town as +so rowdy at night-time that it was not safe for decent people to be +abroad. I became a newspaper controversialist myself, for once, in +order to confute that gratuitous liar, who, I am quite sure, was not a +decent person. The manners of our people may not be superfine, and in +fact they are not—there was no justification for the fastidiousness +of some persons who could not see any good in Archibald Forbes because +he drank his tea out of the saucer instead of the cup—but in the +conduct at the back of manners I have always found them decent to the +decent, in whatever walk of life.</p> + +<p>The pokiness of the poky house did not trouble me, but its situation +was detestable. Never will I live in a terrace house again, if I can +help it. I <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span>used to hunt in vain for a quiet corner to write in, for I +am not like my friend, "Rolf Boldrewood," who can calmly pursue his +literary labours in a roomful of noisy family. If I settled myself at +the rear of the premises, the maid next door would take the +opportunity to sing in her back-yard at the top of her voice, and, in +view of the performances of the children in mine, I was not in a +position to expostulate. If I fled to the front, I was distracted with +the rattle of the street and the horrible jingle of a public-house +piano out of tune. In the stilly night one had sometimes to bury one's +head in the bed-clothes to avoid hearing the conversations of the +husband and wife in the next house. Their window was close alongside +ours, and we had to open them in summer to enable us to breathe. Twice +a week or so G. used to go out with his broom and pail of +disinfectant, and, starting at the top of the terrace, flush and sweep +the main gutter of all the houses down to the bottom—and then was +summoned for creating a nuisance, because the overflow of a +neighbour's nastiness, from an unreachable source, was detected in our +ground. We had good reason to believe that this deadly insult (to +persons who made domestic sanitation a fad, if not a passion) was +contrived as a punishment for his impertinence in meddling with other +people's drains. One or two of them used to stand at their yard doors +and look at him sourly while he was doing it, but it was the only way +of cleansing our own.</p> + +<p>In spite of these drawbacks, our sojourn here was pleasant. There was +no hardship in being curate to such an incumbent as Archdeacon M'C., +beloved by all who knew him. The taste of town life was sweet, after +so many years of rural isolation. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span>My friends were near, dropping in +continually, between one train and another, as they passed up and down +on the railway; and, best of all, there were the most "filling" +library and reading-rooms, conveniently near to me, that I had ever +had the run of. My pleasantest memories of this particular year are of +that institution and the grave, grey, bookish old librarian, who did +all he knew to make it delightful to me. Though I never saw him after +'84, he has his place in the little company of true friends made for +life; "gone, but not forgotten," as the obituary column says of a baby +buried yesterday—I have not forgotten him in seventeen years, nor +ever shall. We used to talk books by the hour when he was disengaged. +He hoarded volumes for me in the secret recesses of his desk, and of +the new publications coming in I always had my choice before they were +put upon the shelves. It mattered not that I was entitled to but one +or two at a time, the more I would accept in excess of my allowance, +the better he was pleased. Sometimes he left them at my door on his +way home to bed, although my door was out of his road. And I never was +at a loss for recreation with those reading-rooms to browse in—green +pastures and still waters for the fattening and refreshing of mind and +soul. They alone would have made any place good to live in.</p> + +<p>Just before Christmas, 1884, Bishop Moorhouse offered G. the parish +which was our favourite of the whole series—for six months. A +clergyman in England, belonging to one of our old families, already +mentioned, had a wish to return to his own people. He offered himself +unconditionally to the Bishop of Melbourne, who responded by +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span>appointing him to this parish, up in the northeastern mountain +country, in the neighbourhood of our early homes; and G. was to take +charge of it until its incumbent-elect was ready. The latter, finding +it beneath his expectations, and being simultaneously offered a London +living, decided, after long deliberations, to remain where he was; and +we, who went there for six months, stayed nine years. It was so +congenial a place, that when (June 12, 1885) news came up to us that +the Board of Nominators in Melbourne had elected G. to the incumbency, +we said to each other that we had nothing left to wish for. To be safe +and settled once more had been our anxious desire for some months; we +now felt that if we had had our choice of all the districts and +dwellings in the diocese, we could not have suited ourselves better.</p> + +<p>But first we had to pay toll—heavy toll. My health continued to fail, +so that I could not enjoy my pretty home, and the end of years of +stop-gap doctoring was the announcement that it was useless, and that +radical measures must be resorted to. On March 9, 1886, I was +deposited in a private hospital in Melbourne, fully aware of the fact +that my case was considered serious enough to make it as likely as not +that I should die there. Of all the black hours of my life, I think +that was the worst—when my husband had said good-bye to me and gone +back to the children whom I dared not hope to see again, and I was +left to my hard fate (on a very hard bed) amongst cold-eyed strangers +to whom I was of no account whatever, except in the way of business. +Once, when I was a child under governesses, I took a violent fancy to +go to boarding-school; I pestered doting parents until they +reluctantly acceded to my <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span>wish; but no sooner was it realised than I +began to weep and pine away with a home-sickness that could only be +cured by fetching me back again—I think at the end of the first +quarter. That brief experience of exile from the Place of Love faintly +foreshadowed my mental sufferings—worse than the physical ones, which +were indeed no joke—under this bitterer separation; yet both school +and hospital did their best for me, and were governed with all the +kindness and good-will that discipline and the general conditions +admitted of.</p> + +<p>For months, that seemed years, I was imprisoned in the latter +place—even now I cannot pass it without a shudder, a thrill of +thankfulness to be outside instead of in—and I was then sent forth +with a reprieve only, and not a full discharge. The nurse, strange to +say, gave me the hint that I should probably "die of it" shortly; the +doctor, appealed to for the honest truth, first abused the nurse for +her indiscretion, and then endorsed her view. But nurses and doctors +have their human limitations; even they don't know everything. The +kindly reader may like to hear that I not only did not die of it, but +am in no danger of ever doing so.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XIII" id="CHAPTER_XIII"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XIII<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE BOOM</h4> +<br /> + +<p>I am not going to disgust the patient reader with sick-room talk. But +certain facts connected with my hospital life bear directly upon the +object of this book, which is to reflect in my trivial experiences the +character of the country as modified by its circumstances from year to +year.</p> + +<p>I had to pay £6, 6s. per week while an inmate of the house. This sum +did not cover medicines or washing, but board and nursing only. The +doctor who gave me chloroform three times charged me £5, 5s. on the +first occasion, and the same on the second; then his conscience +pricked him, I suppose, for he made me a present of his further +services. The surgeon's fee of £105 was comparatively moderate. <i>Per +contra</i>, I had a skimpy bed and room, and just the necessaries of life +as far as nursing was concerned. My nurse had too many other cases in +charge to give more attention to me than was surgically necessary; for +little spongings and pillow-shakings, a clean handkerchief, or such +trifle of comfort, I had to depend upon my friends when they were +allowed to see me. In dangerous crises a night nurse had me in charge; +at ordinary times a lay girl slept in my room. I moped in loneliness +through the greater part of the day, not knowing when I was well off, +until one morning the doctor asked me if I would <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span>mind having a +patient in with me, as the house was full. I weakly consented, +although horrified at the idea, and my one luxury of privacy was taken +from me. She was another surgical patient—another poor mother weeping +all the time for her children—and my sufferings on her account, which +included the total banishment of my friends from what was still my own +room, had such a bad effect upon me that they were soon obliged to +remove her. With regard to diet, I could hardly have cost more than +the cat. Fish, rabbit, cow-heel (not poultry) were the strong meats of +my convalescence; most of the time I was on broth and gruel—when not +sucking milk and soda from a spout. Nevertheless, I was no green +victim to experienced rapacity. None of those in whose power I +was—unless it were the chloroformist, who, I have been assured by +competent authority, did exceed his rights a little—took any unfair +advantage of me. The lady at the head of the establishment was a woman +of the very highest character, and is still my dear and honoured +friend; and the last of the facts I will give in connection with this +case is the fact that she could not make the hospital pay, even on +such terms, and although she worked herself to skin and bone to do it.</p> + +<p>Why? Because this was the merry Boom time, when rents were what we now +call "fabulous"—houses letting at three times the present rates—and +the general cost of living in proportion. Her expenditure, kept down +to the lowest limit, was so heavy that her large receipts would not +cover it.</p> + +<p>It is not for me, who never could do sums in my life, to give opinions +on matters of intricate finance that have proved beyond the grasp of +the most hard-headed experts, but no story of the country, or of +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span>anyone living in it during the years when the great Land and Company +Boom occurred, would be complete without some description of that +amazing episode. I can, at least, give an interesting fact or two from +what I know.</p> + +<p>While I was still in my hospital bed, one public authority—not +listened to, of course—was telling the mad land-speculators that +already more allotments had been put up for suburban residences than +would suffice to house the population of London. "When the rage was at +its height, and land-sales and champagne lunches were <i>de rigueur</i> on +Saturday afternoons, every available bit of land in the suburbs was +bought up by syndicates ... orchards were ruthlessly cut down, gardens +uprooted, hedges broken down, and surveyors set to work to mark out +streets and small allotments, while the astonished owners received +small fortunes for the title-deeds. Numbers of these <i>nouveaux riches</i> +are now—this was written in '92—"touring in Europe, or living +comfortably at their ease on competencies thus acquired." But +some—friends of my own amongst them—handed over their properties to +be thus devastated for a further and higher sale, and got only a first +instalment of the purchase-money, or none at all; the "bottom fell +out" of the Boom before they knew it. While those who bought and were +too late to sell again—"witness," says the writer I am quoting, "the +suicides, the deserted homes, the present penury," domestic tragedies +beyond anything that "the pen of fiction" could produce.</p> + +<p>One affair caused much excitement in clerical (Church of England) +circles. Our cathedral was a-building. Dr Moorhouse had started the +work, after a strenuous fight on his part for the site it now +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span>occupies—in the very heart of the busy city, which time has proved to +be the right place—as against one more retired and picturesque, the +land in both cases being Church property from the days of old. The +work, as far as it had gone, represented about £62,000, "when hungry +syndicates were casting about to find city blocks, then considered of +unassailable value," and it was announced in the papers that £300,000 +had been offered for the unfinished building and the land. "The +authorities were informed that even half a million might be +forthcoming, if they would appoint a committee to confer upon the +subject," and, oh, how that golden bait tantalised us all—or nearly +all! Bishop Moorhouse was gone to his see of Manchester, but there +were still a few men strong enough to breast the tide. "A fatal odd +vote," as it was called, saved us, the voter making himself for a +short time one of the most unpopular persons in the community. +"Business men will remember bitterly in the future, when funds are +scarce, that the sale of the cathedral would have represented a +perpetual income of £15,000 to £20,000 a year," wrote one of the many +good Churchmen who voiced their feelings in the newspapers; and he +said that those business men would be justified in refusing help to +the foolish ones who had "persisted in building on a veritable gold +mine," when those dark days came. The temptation was scarcely put +aside before the collapse occurred, and then, oh, what a sigh of +thankfulness went up from us all that the cathedral was there still!</p> + +<p>When it was known by the high financiers behind the scenes that the +bottom had fallen out of the Land Boom proper, then the +company-promoting began. Some idea of the energy that at once poured +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span>itself into this channel may be derived from the statement that within +one year 270 new companies were registered in Melbourne, having an +aggregate nominal capital of fifty-two millions. These were the traps, +baited with the names of men in high positions, notorious for piety, +respectability, and business acumen, into which walked that long +procession of honest toilers who, with their little savings in their +hands, aimed, not to make a fortune, but a comfortable provision for +old age.</p> + +<p>Here is a sample of the kind of thing that might be found daily in the +newspapers—it is from the prospectus of the Centennial Land Bank, +Limited, Capital, £1,000,000, in 200,000 shares of £5 each:—</p> + +<div class="block"><p class="hang">"The following statistics as regards the present values in +kindred institutions speak for themselves, and it is scarcely +necessary to point out the fact that this Company cannot +fail, with proper management, to have equally good, if not +better, returns:—</p> + +<div class="block2"><p>Australian Property and Investment Company, £5 paid; present +value, £8, 15s.</p> + +<p>Henry Arnold and Company, £5 paid; present value, £12.</p> + +<p>Standard Financial Investment and Agency Company, £1 paid; present +value, £7.</p> + +<p>Mercantile Finance and Guarantee Company, 25s. paid; present +value, £4, 19s.</p> + +<p>Freehold Investment and Banking Company, £2, 15s. 6d. paid; +present value, £10, 7s. 6d.</p> + +<p>Real Estate Bank, 50s. paid; present value, 73s.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span>Australian Deposit and Mortgage Bank, £25 paid; present value, +£46.</p> + +<p>All the above have been paying dividends at the rate of from 10 to +50 per cent."</p></div> +</div> + +<p>Is it any wonder that a spider's web of this description was simply +black with flies? Poor old maids, widows, parsons, school-marms, small +tradesmen who had laboriously put by a little—they tumbled over each +other in their eagerness to put a splendid finishing-touch to the work +of their industrious lives. They could not believe in frauds and +swindles at the hands of such men as they who enticed them to +irreparable financial ruin. Of the companies named in the Centennial +Land Bank prospectus, all, as I read in the records of the time, came +to grief, and "the names of four of them figure in the list of 133 +limited companies that the <i>Government Gazette</i> supplies as having had +to wind up their affairs during the twelve months from June 1891 to +June 1892 inclusive."</p> + +<p>I said I would not meddle with figures, which are not in my line, but +I am tempted to give just a few more while I am about it.</p> + +<p>Purchasers (at slightly under £1100 per foot) of land in Collins +Street, on which a draper's shop had been burnt to the ground, refused +£2000 per foot for their bargain. Another block, with frontage to +Collins Street, was bought for £65,000, and sold a few months later +for £120,000. Other premises purchased for £25,000 were sold four +months later for £55,000—£2000 per foot. The Equitable Life Assurance +Company of New York paid, I believe, £2500 per foot for the fine site +on which they have erected the finest commercial building in +Melbourne. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span>It was the same in the outside suburbs, where as yet they +were not suburbs at all. At Surrey Hills land worth 15s. in 1884 rose +to £15 in 1887. A "moderate estimate" of the sales of the latter year +was officially reported as over £14,000,000. But one of the best +indications of the violence of these ups and downs is afforded by a +comparison of the advertisement-columns of the newspapers one year +with another. In 1888 the Saturday issue (for several consecutive +Saturdays) of a morning journal averaged 170 advertisement-columns of +fine print; in 1892 (also for several Saturdays) the average number +was 67. It was calculated by "one of our leading financiers" that the +"shrinkage" which occurred in stocks and shares, together with the +shrinkage in silver (which had had a world-famed boom of its own), +from 1889 to 1892 totalled "the appalling sum of £50,000,000." It only +remains to add that the population of the entire continent did not +total 4,000,000.</p> + +<p>G. and I were amongst the fortunate ones who had no spare money to +play with, and so, when the crash came, we were in the position of the +cathedral—where we were—poor but free, not mortgaged body and bones +for "calls," like so many that we knew. Still, we had to bear our +little share of the general calamity. About a week after the State +Proclamation of five days' compulsory Bank Holiday—disregarded by the +only two banks which (with the exception of one little one) passed +unscathed through the storm—and when it was supposed that Government +had thereby checked the epidemic of bank disasters, G. was paid his +stipend, and on the stroke of three o'clock made a wild rush to +deposit the money before his bank shut for the day; <i>his</i> <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span>bank being +above suspicion (to him), whatever others might be. He just, and only +just, managed it, and the doors that closed on him a minute afterwards +remained closed next morning. And so, as that money was for many a day +beyond recall, I had to make mine do for both of us, until I in my +turn was rendered penniless. With the narrow-mindedness of my sex in +business matters, I withstood the appeals of the manager of my own +bank, who assured me that his little all and the combined possessions +of his whole family reposed therein, and transferred what I had to the +Government Savings Bank, as being an approximately safe place—while +inclined to think that a hole in the ground or a tea-pot or an old +stocking would be safer—until things should have settled down. When +they did settle down, I opened my account with one of the two great +banks that had proved themselves impregnable.</p> + +<p>From a newspaper of May 20th, 1893, I take the following:—"Counting +in all stoppages up to Tuesday last, about £55,000,000 of Australian +money is now locked up in suspended banks of issue—not counting the +amounts locked up in about fifty bursted land banks, building +societies and investment companies, and leaving the Mercantile"—this +was the particularly scandalous boom-bank—"out of the calculation +altogether.... Within a year 64 per cent. of the working capital of +Queensland has been locked up, 60 per cent. of that of Victoria, 55 +per cent. in New South Wales, and 40 per cent. in South Australia." So +it appears, if these figures are correct, that there was still one +colony worse off than we were.</p> + +<p>But it was not 1893—it was 1886—when I was in hospital, and the +"high old times" were in full <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span>swing. When I came out, to remain for a +long time under the necessity of reporting myself to the doctor at +frequent intervals, I was again, at those frequent intervals, in the +thick of the distractions of our still gay capital, where it was the +aim of my friends to make me forget that I was going to "die of it" or +to persuade me that my medical adviser was a fool.</p> + +<p>I was not in the fevered crowd of those who "ran" the boom and made +the smell of money so rank in the nose; but it was high tide in the +fortunes of the landed gentry, and, indeed, generally speaking, of the +whole community. All in their degree were rich and lived lavishly; the +upper classes seemed wholly given over to pleasure-making, and their +appetite for social diversion was catered for as it never was before +or since. It was now that I heard so much good music, saw so much good +acting, met so many interesting travellers, enjoyed the greatest +race-meetings in the history of splendid Flemington, the hospitalities +of Government House in its best days, the most memorable +entertainments of a time when nothing but the first-rate was +tolerated. I look back now and wonder at my keen appreciation of it +all. But it never took much to make me enjoy myself, and I was younger +then.</p> + +<p>Out of the crowded spectacle, which in memory resembles the dream of +Verdant Green's father after the first visit to Oxford, the Centennial +Exhibition stands most conspicuous. As first conceived, it was to cost +£25,000, because the buildings of the Exhibition of 1880 were still +there to work upon. Being a Boom enterprise, it had not gone far +before it was estimated that £70,000 would be needed to complete it +properly. When the bill at last came in, it totalled £250,000. "A +costly blunder," <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span>it is called in these soberer times. Costly it was +certainly, but a blunder—no. Not to us who made it our haunt and +rendezvous, our palace of pleasure in a thousand forms. I should think +that no money ever spent gave so much direct enjoyment to so many +people.</p> + +<p>Ah, those days! Those days! I too had had my little boom on the +Australian press, and it was not yet over; bad times were still +undreamed of, the London Syndicate had not yet taken possession of the +fiction columns, pounds were freely to be had (I received £197 for the +serial rights of <i>A Marked Man</i>) where now shillings are hard to come +by; and my children were still under the expensive age. So that the +cost of two long journeys for a day or two in town seemed not worth +considering, and I appear never to have considered it. We were all +extravagant together. We made hay while the sun shone, if ever people +did.</p> + +<p>Therefore, looking back upon those gay times, I have not to regret +that I missed anything (except Madame Norman-Neruda), whatever else I +may regret. Living nearly 200 miles away I had all the good of the +Exhibition that I could have desired; more would have meant satiety. +Scores and scores of those orchestral concerts (under Frederick +Cowen's conductorship) I must have attended, first and last; there +were two a day, and they gave you the best music of all countries, and +you only had to stroll into the hall and sit down and listen, as if in +your own house. It was here that I learned to be a Wagnerite, after +several unsuccessful attempts. By finding a very quiet corner, and +listening with my eyes close <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span>shut and a fan before my face, I +discovered the secret; now there is no luxury in life like a Wagner +concert—other music, even other great music, that I am bidden to +place higher, seems by comparison what other novels seem beside George +Meredith's best (the Meridithian will understand me). As it has +chanced, all the Wagner that I have heard since Exhibition days has +been rendered by the still more highly-trained orchestra of Mr +Marshall Hall, ex-Ormond Professor of Music in the University of +Melbourne; and, as a musician, we have never had his equal amongst us +here, and are never likely to have his superior.</p> + +<p>The Art Galleries of the Exhibition were more to us than the Concert +Hall, for we were more in them. Amongst the Loan Pictures, of one +country or another, we met our friends; here we sat on soft lounges to +muse upon our favourites, in more or less congenial company, or we let +the pictures alone and gave friendship the whole field. There were +times in the day—the place was open from 11 <span class="fakesc">A.M.</span> to 10:30 <span class="fakesc">P.M.</span>—when +persons who desired privacy had no difficulty in finding it at fifty +different spots; wherefore it was a very paradise for lovers. And you +could live there all day long, with every comfort, including free +education worth years of school. It was delightful to show children +biscuits and hats and wire-mattresses a-making under their very noses, +and when they were tired of that to take them to see the seals fed in +the cool Aquarium, or up on the hydraulic lift to survey all Melbourne +from the great dome. The meals are a delicious memory—the little +lunches and dinner-parties, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span>the afternoon teas (for nothing) in the +dainty tea-pavilions—all flavoured with the holiday spirit, the +bright talk of meeting friends. And the saunters to and fro, and up +and down (fatiguing, no doubt, but I have forgotten that), always with +something beautiful to look at, something interesting to do, and +generally with a comrade of your heart to talk to about it all! When +the place was shut at last, we wandered forlorn and lost for a long +time. We were spoiled for humdrum life.</p> + +<p>The Centennial Exhibition—our "Great" Exhibition—marked the climax +of the Boom, of what we erroneously call the "good times," when we +were rich and dishonest and mercenary and vulgar. The end was not far +off. A few more luxuries awaited us, of which the one that recalls +itself most vividly to my mind is Madame Patey's singing of "Alas! +Those Chimes," from <i>Maritana</i>. This was on 27th November 1890. On the +25th June 1801 I saw Sara Bernhardt in <i>Theodora</i>. She it was who rang +down the curtain. We were able to give her a good season, to treat +ourselves once more regardless of expense; then, upon the heels of her +departure, the bubble burst. "Thank God," I heard a man say, "that we +got Sara first." It was our last chance for many a long day.</p> + +<p>But the best thing that ever happened to Melbourne Society, as I have +known it, was the snuffing out of the lights of that feast, the coming +of that cold daylight to the revellers. A better example of the +vulgarising effects of wealth, and of the refining effects of being +without it, was never packed in a neater compass.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XIV" id="CHAPTER_XIV"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XIV<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE SEVENTH HOME</h4> +<br /> + +<p>Towards the end of May 1886—against professional advice, to which we +opposed our private opinion that the best way to get well was to get +rid of the homesick cravings that were beyond doctor's reach—I was +transferred from my hospital bed to one in the house of a dear +Melbourne friend, where I lay in all the luxury that love and money +could provide, and with portions of family around me, for a few more +weeks; until at last it was considered that I might make the long +journey to my home in safety. I had a bed in the railway carriage, and +reached the goal of my desires at midnight, when the long-motherless +bairns were asleep. Thereafter, although weighed down at times with +the thought of my supposed impending doom—never really out of my +mind, and constantly spurring me to extreme efforts to turn the +available time to the best account, in the interests of my prospective +orphans—I persisted in getting well and in enjoying myself +accordingly. Indeed, the charm of life at this period—only to be +understood by those in like case, who have been so near to losing +it—is a bloom upon the retrospect that is likely to misrepresent it +in these pages. Beauty is in the eye and heart of the beholder more +than in the thing beheld. However, I <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span>can only paint as I have seen, +and the reader will make allowances.</p> + +<p>Certainly Home No. 7, which was in the near neighbourhood of Homes 1, +2, and 3, was a trifle dilapidated. G.'s successor there, when he +first saw it, called it a "shanty"—he came from the modern suburban +villa which we now occupy, and was used to high ceilings and electric +bells—and he thought (until the rain ceased and the sun came out) +that it would be impossible to bring his family to quarters so mean by +comparison with what they were accustomed to. But they were good +enough for us. The most we asked of the vestry was to keep roofs +weather-tight; for the rest, we felt ourselves equal to making a +satisfactory abode out of a far worse shanty than that. Indeed, we had +done so more than once.</p> + +<p>All the paint was off it, and the soft grey of the dissolving +wood-work was in perfect harmony with every other detail of the +composition; I used to dread to turn my back on the place, lest the +parish should take a notion to smarten up while I was away, although I +knew that the time was near when something would have to be done. They +could only have put staring patches on their old garment, which would +have made it hideous. It was so beautifully, mellowly "all of a piece" +now, that I begged G., who rather hankered after painters and +carpenters, to keep their hands off, if he loved me. "It will last our +time," I said, as he drove the amateur nail, and I saw to it that old +age did not mean dirt; and we made it do that—barely. The back of the +house was level with the ground, but the front was in the air, so that +its verandah was a balcony and you descended from it to the garden by +a flight of twelve <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span>steps; before we left we had abandoned the front +entrance because it had become impossible by our unaided efforts to +keep those steps in place. Also the verandah floor in places was +dangerous to walk upon; the constant watering of flower-pots and +palm-tubs had rotted it through. And the ivy, cut into a hood round +one of the drawing-room windows, rioted out of bounds. On the whole, I +was glad to go when the time came—to our sunny, airy, far-too-public +villa with the high ceilings and the electric bells, which will never +suit me as well. We had grown too dilapidated to keep tidy, too +picturesque for health.</p> + +<p>After our time—and soon after—an opportune legacy to the parish was +devoted to the work of restoration, and enabled the restorers to make +what they called a good job of it. I saw the place the other day, and +it is now almost like a common house. The ivy is all cleared away; so +are some of the trees which, while I knew they were too many, I could +not bear to have touched; the verandahs are sound and painted, the +rooms light. My æsthetic soul grieved over some details of the change, +but my hygienic conscience admitted that the whole change was a good +one.</p> + +<p>Many things were gone from the garden, which in our time had sheltered +us from every prying eye. The thinning of the trees and bushes had +left spaces bare but for pine-needles and cones, and exposed the house +to the gaze of the passer-by. Great screens of laurel used to stand +this way and that, and some had been taken down; a magnificent +lemon-tree had disappeared—but I think that was our fault. We sunk a +kerosene tin, with small holes in the bottom, in the earth beside it, +and filled the cavity with water <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span>whenever we thought of it, so that +moisture was always percolating to the roots; and the result of this +treatment was such splendid growth that the tree doubled and trebled +its size in two or three seasons. The fruit was enormous and weighed +it down. I used to break off a branch bearing a cluster of half a +dozen or more, and by the time I had carried it to a friend in the +town my arm would feel as if I had been carrying a pail of milk; and I +was ready to teach anybody the true art or lemon-growing. But after a +few splendid years the tree suddenly got tired: I suppose it had +worked itself out; and then it dwindled steadily, despite our care, +and we left it ragged and sick. It must have died of that illness. +Another lemon-tree, treated in the same way, lives still, in a sticky, +threadbare fashion, but this bears a small, half-sweet fruit, whereas +its neighbour was Lisbon of the finest quality. Evidently lemons do +not object to that vigorous climate, where it snows in winter, for our +doctor up there, whose recreation is fruit-farming, has a fine grove +of young trees, the produce of which has already gained top prices in +the market; but oranges will not climb so high. Within a few miles, +however—at W——, near Home No. 1—they grow to perfection.</p> + +<p>The two things in the parsonage garden which make it unique are there +still—the avenue and the slabbed pathways. The avenue, from the front +door to the front gate, is of some kind of pine that runs up in a +straight mast to a great height and then branches like an umbrella; +here it makes a roof to the descending aisle. And the aisle is paved +with shallow steps of the silvery granite which is the very substance +of the hills. No one step matches another; all are rough-hewn and of +about the same width, but <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span>they are long or short, thick or thin, just +as it happens, dropping down and down in a manner as informal as the +architecture of Nature herself; and the same arrangement obtains where +it has been necessary to make footholds round steep corners. Those +original alley-and-stairways were an inspiration of the designer, who +probably had no design but to face his tracks with something that the +rain would not wash away; but how often has the amiable Philistine +urged us to get the vestry to "make proper paths!" They will do it +some day, and then I hope no reader of these pages, touring in the +locality, will look for Home No. 7 in the expectation of finding it. +But, all the same, that garden was a trap to the stranger on a dark +night.</p> + +<p>I remember on one occasion being awakened from my first sleep—my +hours are early at both ends of the day—by terrifying bumpings and +crashes amongst the thick bushes and down the treacherous paths. G. +was at a meeting in the town; maid and lady-help had both followed the +children to bed; it was nine o'clock or thereabouts, when any other +house would have been still alive. My fears of burglars or stray +cattle were dispelled by the voices of lost and floundering men +calling to each other. Supposing the servant about, I left her to +attend to them, but it was a long time before they brought up at the +dining-room verandah. There she argued with them at length, and +presently tapped at my door.</p> + +<p>"It's two gentlemen from Melbourne, ma'am." Like Maria, she was most +particular in giving me that title so rare in this country.</p> + +<p>"Didn't you tell them Mr C. was out?" I called.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span>"I did, ma'am. And they want to see you."</p> + +<p>"Didn't you tell them I had gone to bed?"</p> + +<p>"I did, ma'am. But—"</p> + +<p>"Well, go and tell them again that I have gone to bed." The idea of +that statement, once made, not being sufficient! I was indignant.</p> + +<p>She went, and talked to them again; she returned with a pair of +visiting-cards, and protested, as she lit my candle, that the +gentlemen would not go. I read the names, and knew them, although the +owners were strangers to me. One was a University Professor. +(N.B.—Since this was written he has joined the majority, one of the +greatest losses to the country, outside the University as well as in, +that it has sustained for many a day.) I decided to get up.</p> + +<p>"Put the lamps in the drawing-room, and tell them I will be there in a +minute." And I whisked up my hair, tossed on a tea-gown, and went +forth to receive them. "We were determined to have you out," said the +Professor to me years afterwards, and dwelt upon the extraordinary +difficulties that he and his friend had had to overcome to compass +that end. Glad enough was I, and still am, that they succeeded. No +talk that I ever had is more refreshing to remember than that which I +enjoyed until past midnight—especially after G. came back from his +meeting to divide us into pairs. There are books and ideas that can +never suggest themselves without bringing it all to mind. The garden +is haunted by the figures of those groping and resolute men.</p> + +<p>There, too, walks the ghost of that dear vice-regal lady whom we all +remember with such love. I see her slowly mount the rugged path under +the pines, glancing from side to side upon the half-wild growth <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span>with +pleasure in her artistic eye; coming for that quiet talk which +municipal dignity would have baulked us of, and the memory of which is +precious now that I am never likely to have another. I read somewhere +not long ago, in gossip of old Holland House and the charming society +that once gathered there—by one who was of it—that she was lovely as +a budding girl, and remarkable for her air of high distinction; +immediately I thought of her as she looked that day, coming towards me +under the trees. Like the rest of us, she is growing old now, but she +will always have that beauty and that air, the blend of a gentle +nature with gentle blood.</p> + +<p>An account of this visit from our then Governor's wife may be worth +giving, if only to illustrate municipal dignity—Government +authority—as it is conceived of in these parts.</p> + +<p>She had honoured me with a private friendship—unsought by me—for +some time when, in the ordinary routine of state functions, +arrangements were made for the Governor to visit our town, she +accompanying him. It was an exceptional compliment, conferred for the +first time, and the excitement throughout the district was intense.</p> + +<p>When the time approached she wrote to ask me to meet her on her +arrival, and I was duly at the station when the decorated train +arrived, but far, far away on the edge of the crowd, which built a +solid rampart between us—official representatives of the town, their +families, and the processions they had organised to receive and escort +the vice-regal party—and by no means could I get nearer. In normal +times I had every reason to feel myself a respected member of the +community, but I was now to be taught my place municipally as it were. +My <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span>representations were simply not listened to; I am sure they were +not believed. That vice-royalty could harbour a thought outside the +official demonstration was inconceivable to them. I could see my +friend's tall head turning from side to side as she sought for me over +the bowing heads of people presenting bouquets and reading addresses +of welcome, but I was not tall enough for her to see me; so I gave up +the struggle for that day, and went home and had a bath—it was +ragingly hot—intending to send her a note of explanation later. As I +was putting myself into an old, cool gown, word was brought to me that +she was coming up the garden. I went out to her as I was, and she +spent an hour or two, of happy memory, with me—the only resting time +she had throughout her visit—leaving me to my customary quiet evening +and early bed, while she returned to the hotel to the state banquet +and reception that filled the first day's programme.</p> + +<p>That of the next day (December 30, 1885, and a burning north wind) was +packed with engagements in a fashion that took no account of a woman's +strength—and a delicate woman at that. There was first a monster +picnic to the show view of the neighbourhood, twelve steep miles up +into the hills; it was to start as early as nine or thereabouts, feast +sumptuously and make speeches when it got there, and return in time +for two more afternoon functions, at two separate public institutions, +and a concert in the evening. It was arranged overnight that I should +accompany my friend to the picnic, and after she left my house she +notified to the proper authorities her wish that I should be allotted +to the carriage selected for her. Next day she told me the result. The +answer of the town was that it was very sorry, but <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span>it could not be +done. <i>The order of precedence had to be observed.</i></p> + +<p>I was at the hotel at the appointed hour, and she was already in her +seat—she had chosen it, under the circumstances, on the box, between +the Governor and the driver—and the body of the vehicle, a large open +brake, was packed with municipal ladies, every bit as "good" as I was, +of course, but all strangers to her. Behind the vice-regal carriage +stood a long line of other brakes, rapidly filling up. I sat down on a +bench under the hotel verandah to watch the process and await my turn. +My dear lady in the distance made a gesture which signified "Where are +you going to be put?" I shook my head to indicate that I had not the +least idea. Then the cavalcade started, and soon all the splendid +four-in-hands had vanished in a cloud of dust—and I was still sitting +under the verandah, I and a friend staying with me, a daughter of that +house where I encountered the midnight opossum. It was discovered then +that there was still a remnant left behind, and a buggy was brought +out, a scratch pair harnessed to it, and we and a few more odds and +ends, as it were, cleaned up.</p> + +<p>Of course we were hours late at the rendezvous. When we arrived the +banquet was in progress, the Governor's wife sitting amid her court, +which occupied every chair, and looking almost as difficult to get at +as she had been at the railway station. I made no attempt to get at +her. My companion and I sat in our own buggy, and a nice man brought +us plates of turkey and trifle, and tumblers of champagne, and we +enjoyed our lunch and our liberty and the whole proceedings. By-and-by +the Governor came to tell me that he expected me to accompany his +party back <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span>to town the next morning. I had that to look forward to.</p> + +<p>On our return from the picnic, and when near the gates of the first +institution that was to be inspected, the cavalcade halted and word +was passed back to me that my lady in the leading carriage wished to +speak to me. I went to her. She was dusty and sunburnt, and very +tired. "Go home," she said, "and rest. You can rest—I can't."</p> + +<p>I went to Melbourne with her next day—the very hottest day, I think, +that I was ever out in. She had been unable to sleep, she said, and +was almost prostrated by the weather and her fatigues. In the state +carriage we could lie down on blue satin sofas, in the lightest indoor +clothes, and a maid in a little ante-room had cool drinks and sponges +and such things in readiness. The Governor held a cloth continually +soaked in water over an open window against the fierce north wind, to +try if by evaporation he could freshen the air; but it remained +oven-like for all his efforts.</p> + +<p>At last, when we were halting at a wayside station for a train to +pass, a minister was sent for from the compartment where he was +travelling with the suite, in some kind of official charge of the +expedition.</p> + +<p>"Do," said his liege lady, "do please go and ask them if they will +hose the carriage." She was fainting with the heat, and this seemed to +her the best way to get relief—as it would have been. He hurried off, +much concerned at her distress, to, as he said, see what he could do. +Presently he returned, and said—my own ears heard him—that he was +very sorry, but it could not be done. "<i>It would blister the paint.</i>"</p> + +<p>She was idolised throughout the colony as no <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span>Governor's wife ever was +before or since, and with good reason; and the people who, as in this +case, were supposed to be entertaining her, were neither mean nor +selfish, nor intentionally rude. I am sure the idea that they were not +treating her with the highest consideration never crossed their minds.</p> + +<p>Other friends, departed or no more, are indissolubly one with that old +house and the old garden in which it stood. How many phantom faces +flit amongst those shades? Every block of stone, every step of the +verandah stairs, has a figure or a group. They sit in twilight, in +moonlight, musing alone or talking together—the deep, intimate talk +of those resting hours. There is a bishop amongst them with his +pipe—he, too, now on the other side of the world, but with a green +memory here that will not wither yet awhile. And still other friends, +that never talked, except in a language that few trouble to learn.</p> + +<p>For originally the garden was a "Zoo" on a small scale. The first +parson was a rabid naturalist, who experimented with new breeds of +birds and collected snakes for the study of their habits and customs. +We were warned that one of their habits was to escape frequently, and +that we should probably find house and grounds alive with their +descendants, but we did not; only two put in an appearance upon the +premises in nine years. Two large aviaries remained of the birds' +village that once was when we took possession; we kept flower-pots and +tools in one, and for a while I had turtledoves in another—not for +long, since cages are an abomination to me, however big. Both are +cleared away now, with their leafy screens. But the wild birds love +the place—or did love it. It was mainly <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span>for their sakes that the axe +was not laid at the root of any tree while we were there, and they +came to it from far and near—far, I should say, since one rarely +heard a bird-note, not even that of the once ubiquitous magpie, on the +surrounding hills—and set up housekeeping in peace and privacy, and +in larger and larger numbers every year.</p> + +<p>How soon they know where they are welcome! And it is the same with all +dumb things. I am convinced that there is scarcely a creature living +which does not prove itself possessed of quite human intelligence as +soon as one begins to make a friend of it. They walk under our feet +and scatter from our path in fear and trembling; their minds are +cramped and starved by their hunted, down-trodden, tragical lives; +they are shut up within themselves. But show them a little kindness +and understanding and comradeship, and the results are astonishing. I +have tried it often enough to know. I have had such things as toads +and hedgehogs scrambling after me about garden paths, preferring to +burst themselves rather than lose the chance of my company. Some white +rats presented to my children were let out of their cage to enjoy +themselves in an enemy-proof room, and had not been thus indulged for +a week before their endearments became overpowering. A widowed dove +was my companion for several years, and fell sick and refused food if +parted from me, which was only when I went out of the house; and then +it would follow if not guarded carefully, and was killed at last in a +tangle of street traffic through which it was hunting me. In this very +house at B—— I was silly enough to make friends with a mouse that +had a hole in the hearth by which I used to sit alone at work. All I +did was to put a crumb or a spoonful of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span>milk between me and it. Soon +it took to sitting in its porch—we could just see its little snout +twiddling—to watch until the family were all gone from the room, and +to running out to me fearlessly the instant the door was closed behind +them.</p> + +<p>This was in the dining-room. Opposite its glass doors, across the +verandah and a path, there was an arrangement of granite blocks to +shore up the ground where the hill had been cut away to make a level +for the house, and in the interstices of this rough wall more mice +lived. We were quite unaware of the fact until I had begun petting the +hearth-dweller, when they suddenly popped out from their burrows as +bold as brass. I could not resist giving them a crumb or two, and +their subsequent behaviour convinced me that their indoor neighbour +had communicated to them the fact that there was a friend at court. As +I sat at meals, in broad daylight and sunshine, the French window open +between us, I could see them sitting on their thresholds, staring +across the gap with all their eyes. "You will rue this," said the +person in authority, and I soon did. We became all at once inundated +with mice. Alas for the eternal tragedy of life! A cat was introduced. +One morning I was writing at the dining-table, with my back to the +hearth, when a tremendous clatter of fire-irons made me jump out of my +chair. I flew after that young tigress, and I got her prey from her, +but too late. My pet died in my hand—and I am never going to take any +notice of a mouse again.</p> + +<p>Of all my dumb companions here—those humble fellow-creatures of ours, +the possibilities in the way of social intercourse with whom (I will +not say "which") are amongst the happy surprises reserved <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span>for an +enlightened future—Toby was the bosom friend.</p> + +<p>Toby, although he was only a dog, shall have a chapter to himself. The +reader who is not a dog-lover, being hereby forewarned, can skip it.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XV" id="CHAPTER_XV"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XV<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>TOBY</h4> +<br /> + +<p>All I know of his breeding is that he had none. His mother, a +drawing-room pet and the only acknowledged parent, was a little +long-bodied, dainty bundle of silver-grey silk that swept the ground; +he, fully twice her size and height, with a compact, sinewy frame and +a close, wire-haired, rusty-black coat, was more in the style of the +useful out-door terrier that loves a scrimmage in the street and is +rough on rats—mere dog, in short, and a despicable animal from the +fancier's point of view. But when I saw him first—he was brought to +my bedside during illness, as a present more likely to cheer me than +anything else—I thought I had never seen a sweeter pup; and I do not +hope to meet again, still less to own, a brighter, smarter, dearer +creature than he afterwards became.</p> + +<p>There was nothing of the trick dog about him, and with respect to +striking exploits he was less distinguished than several of his +predecessors in my regard. One of these, for instance, was +part-proprietor of a town and a country house, both of which were kept +open and habitable (caretakers in one while the family occupied the +other), and there was a considerable railway journey between the two. +My canine friend preferred, of course, to live with the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span>family, but +if they happened to hurt his feelings he quietly trotted to the +station, picked out the right train, and thereby conveyed himself to +his alternate home, where he remained until the trouble had blown +over. The railway officials at both ends knew him well, and he them, +but they declared that, even at the crowded station of the large town, +he was capable of finding his own train without their assistance. This +same dog knew when it was Sunday simply by count of days—at least, he +would seem to know before anything in the house could have told +him—and took his measures accordingly. He was always missing between +breakfast and church time, and always known to be in hiding under a +seat of the family pew during divine service, although an order +prohibiting his attendance had never been repealed. Another dog friend +used to wait for his mistress on doorsteps when she did errands or +paid calls, and one day she left a house by a different door from that +by which she had gone in, forgetting that he was there. Missing him +during the day, finding that he was not at home all night nor all next +day, she became frantic with fears that something dreadful had +happened to him, sending messages of inquiry in all directions. After +a hunt in more likely places, he was discovered on the doorstep where +she had left him. It had been snowing and blowing, and he was starved +with cold and hunger, but he had not budged. I knew a dog that nearly +died at his post in the same way, and quite lately the current dog of +this establishment spent a cold night at the local cemetery gates, +waiting for a master who had gone home unbeknown in a mourning coach +the day before. Dozens of incidents equally remarkable occur to me, +but not in connection with Toby; who, however, if he did not do any +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</a></span>very wonderful things, was capable of doing them. As with inglorious +Miltons amongst ourselves, he simply lacked opportunity.</p> + +<p>What entitled him to be remembered as I remember him was his splendid +force of character and his absolutely faithful heart. He was, indeed, +energetic to a fault in nearly all directions. No dog walked that he +was not game to tackle, and no cat, except his own cat, whose +successive kittens he nursed as if engaged for the purpose, was safe +for a moment within range of his alert eye; while to see him careering +round the paddock after frenzied poultry, or throwing the garden +bodily over his back when burying his bones and digging them up again, +was to understand in some degree why he was not exactly popular with +the powers of his world. But the ardour of his affection for, and +devotion to, his particular owner was a thing to shame human +friendship at its best. I can never think of it without thinking what +life would be if men and women loved each other like that.</p> + +<p>Full of business as he always was, I think he never lost the run of +his mistress for an hour when she was at home, unless he were tied up +for misdemeanours or otherwise forcibly restrained. A thing of +whalebone and quicksilver, of tireless energy and vivacity, he +schooled himself to the conditions of indoor companionship, and would +lie all day at my side, eyes watching for the merest glance from mine, +tail poised for a joyous thump the moment he received it. When I sat +out of doors, and he thought I was quite safe not to go away, he would +amuse himself in the vicinity in all sorts of cheerful ways. He always +took a deep interest in fowls, and a favourite game of his was to draw +an imaginary <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</a></span>circle round a selected hen, and by working along that +line to keep her from breaking out of it. He did it so neatly and at +such a distance from her that she was not seriously alarmed; but when, +every time she started for a new point, she found him there ahead of +her, her disconcerted cluck and bewildered aspect were extremely +funny. The current kittens were also toys that he delighted in; he and +the mother cat would spend endless time and ingenuity in carrying them +away from one another and fetching them back again, all in the most +friendly fashion. Of course, he accompanied me everywhere in my walks +abroad. Some readers of these pages will recall his wit and his +persistence in following me into houses where I was paying calls after +doors and gates had been closed against him. How he did it we +sometimes could not tell, since he was neither a professional burglar +nor a kangaroo; and, of course, I ought to have brought him up not to +do it, as not to do a few other things that I weakly allowed for the +sake of the love that prompted them.</p> + +<p>At night, when not on that chain which we both disliked so much, he +preferred to sleep on my doorstep—I had an outside doorstep, where a +French window opened upon the raised verandah—deserting the kennel in +which he could have been dry and warm. When I was alone—he always +knew when that was—the worst weather would not keep him away; but +when the rain, which occasionally was sleet and snow, beat on him, he +would scratch and whine to be let in; and then I would be inclined to +wish that one or other of us had never been born. It was a torment to +hear him and refuse his plea, but the most doggy person must draw the +line somewhere; besides, if I had admitted him once, he would have +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</a></span>suffered for my indiscretion many times, as also should I. So I used +to shout, "Go to bed, sir!" with a make-believe severity that had no +more effect than to send him dejectedly flopping down the verandah +steps, to creep up again before he had reached the bottom. But +generally he was good and quiet. I used to wake sometimes to hear a +subdued sniff under the door, or the thud of a soft body flinging +itself ostentatiously upon hard boards. These were his ways of +reminding me, in case I doubted it, that he was there.</p> + +<p>Unfortunately, as before remarked, he was not popular with the +household. I daresay it was my fault. There are such differences of +opinion about dogs in our family that we never do have one without +quarrelling over it, more or less. Poor Toby was the domestic +scapegoat. If a chicken got roup or a stray cow walked over the +flower-beds, he was the suspected culprit; every muddy boot-print, +every unmentionable insect that came into the house, was laid at his +door; and to smell an unpleasant odour was at once to connect it with +his coat, and not with cabbage water in the kitchen or a neglected +drain.</p> + +<p>I went out a-visiting for a week or two, and when I returned found +that he had been given away. He was still on the premises to welcome +me in his vociferous manner, and the news was not broken too abruptly: +but I had to hear it before the following afternoon, which was the +time fixed for his departure. It appeared that in my absence he had +taken up with some friends of ours whom he had often called upon with +me, particularly attaching himself to the eldest schoolboy son, and +had virtually been living with them nearly all the time. They were but +temporary dwellers in the town, and about <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</a></span>to leave it; and as he had +greatly endeared himself to the numerous children, and was rightly +supposed to be unappreciated in his own house, they had asked to keep +him and take him with them. Evidently the request had been hailed as +delightfully opportune, and unhesitatingly granted by those who had no +authority to dispose of him.</p> + +<p>"Now, you know," it was said to me, when, after something of a scene, +I was considered in a fit state to be reasoned with, "that Toby only +makes discord and dissension in an otherwise united family. He will +interfere with the fowls, and dig holes in the garden, and bring dirt +and fleas into the house; and then, when he is put on the chain, you +don't like it and make a fuss. Here's a splendid home for him, where +he'll be as happy as the day is long. The T.'s, who have just as much +as they can do to feed their own children and pay their own travelling +expenses, would not add him to the party if they were not really fond +of him; and you can see, by the way he has been haunting their place, +how fond he is of them. It is for the dog's own benefit as well as +ours, and we shall never get such another chance."</p> + +<p>Well, I saw that. When you love a creature, dumb or otherwise, its own +happiness is what you consider first, and every proof had been given +that his new proprietors would be good to him. In this case, as in so +many cases, the benevolent heart went with the slender purse; Toby +himself was well aware of it. And so I consented to let the bargain +stand. I had promised to see my friends off at the railway station, +but now cancelled that engagement, sending them a message to say that, +though they might take Toby, I could not see him go. They told me +afterwards that he went quietly; I daresay he did, not <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</a></span>knowing what +was happening and how we should feel about it at our next meeting.</p> + +<p>I had no expectation, at the time, of any next meeting. But a year or +two later, while having a little travel for my health, I found myself +in the large town whither he had been taken when torn from me: and, of +course, I made it my business to find him there, if possible. I did +not know where his people lived, the streets were strange to me, and I +have no bump of locality whatever, so I started soon after breakfast +and gave the morning to it. By about lunch-time, after many inquiries +and misdirections, and much fatigue and exasperation, I discovered the +house in a very far-out suburb. But, before I discovered the house, +Toby discovered me. He had not seen me, I am convinced—had either +scented me in the distance or recognised my (to human ears inaudible) +step—when he uttered his first ecstatic yell and hurled himself over +the gate; I was still half a street's length off when I beheld him +tearing towards me as if discharged from a giant catapult. Literally, +I could hardly see him for dust. We fell into each other's arms +forthwith, and I must have looked, to the casual spectator, as if +engaged in a death grapple with a wild beast.</p> + +<p>His young master appeared, and I managed to shake his hand and ask if +he lived there, and how his mother was. He took me in to her, and she +was delighted to see me; his father and the family joined us, and said +how good it was of me to look them up, and of course I must stay to +dinner, and how were all at home, and so on; but it was dumb show—we +could not hear ourselves speak. Toby nearly lifted the roof with his +uproar of welcome, and seemed to have lost the power to stop himself; +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</a></span>every breath was a shriek, so full of the fury and passion of joy that +it seemed like to choke him. This sounds like exaggeration, but really +is not, as those present with me will testify, supposing they read +this tale. Since they never can have seen a dog so conduct himself +before or since, I am sure they will remember the circumstance. He +clawed me frantically, hugged my knees with his strong forelegs, +grovelled at my feet, licked them, rolled over them, rubbed his dear +snout, his ears, his shoulders, upon every part of me that he could +get at, contorting his body in the most grotesque and violent fashion, +as if in the throes of some mysterious convulsive fit. In short, no +hatter or March hare was ever so entirely mad and off his head and +beside himself.</p> + +<p>I confess I was almost as great a fool; seeing which, the kind +household bore with the deafening racket as long as we chose to make +it—ten minutes, perhaps, which must have had the wearing power of ten +hours in that small room. Then, out of pity for my hostess, who was +invalided at the time, and to give human friendship a chance, and +because really a continuation of that Bedlam hubbub would have been +too much for anybody's nerves, I consented to a suggestion that Toby +should be removed for an interval. His young master took him as far +away as the limits of the premises allowed, and shut as many doors +upon him as there were to shut. "Now we can talk," said my hostess, +with a sigh and smile of utter relief.</p> + +<p>So we talked; and as friends who had not met for a long time, as +mothers whose respective children were the most important objects in +the universe, we had a great deal to talk about. We could have +gossiped about our families and affairs for a whole <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</a></span>day quite +contentedly, and should have made excellent use of the two or three +hours actually available—had Toby permitted. But he wailed and howled +in his shed in the backyard, and no doors could smother the +distracting sound. We pretended for some time that we did not hear it, +while I answered questions at random, incapable of fixing my thoughts +on anything but him. Finally the strain became unbearable, and the +prisoner was released upon my giving an undertaking that he should +reasonably behave himself.</p> + +<p>He returned like a whirlwind, but, after a brief struggle with +himself, submitted to what he perceived was necessary, and stood under +my hand, trembling, whimpering, thrilling in every fibre, his nose on +my knee, his liquid eyes fixed on my face with such an intensity of +adoring love as I never saw in any other pair. If the pressure was +relaxed for a moment, he leaped like a steel spring in an india-rubber +ball, because he could not help himself, and if I ventured to look at +him he yelped with delight; but he quieted down by degrees, lay on my +skirt, leaning against it in a way to drag the gathers out, licked my +fingers, and was quite happy.</p> + +<p>To please us both he was allowed to stay to dinner, and by this time +he was so far restored to his sober senses that he went to others +beside me to ask for food; and the confidence with which he begged +from each in turn showed that parents and children were all his +trusted friends—that this home, unlike the last, was an ideal home +for a being of his persuasion, the unattainable paradise of the +average dog. This is my one comfort when I think of Toby now.</p> + +<p>Having other engagements, I was obliged to say <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</a></span>good-bye to my +entertainers immediately after the mid-day meal. But it was generally +felt that, in spite of his calmer demeanour, there must be no +good-byes to him. Stratagem was resorted to, together with tit-bits of +roast beef to lure him to a part of the house whence he could not see +me go; and as soon as the coast was clear I made off with all speed, +taking care that no door should creak, no gate click, no tip-toe +footstep leave an echo behind me.</p> + +<p>Alas! he heard. No, he did not hear—he <i>knew</i>. I was not fairly into +the roadway before he began to shriek with all his might, and now the +shrieks were as full of anguish as they had previously been full of +joy. I never heard anything so heart-thrilling, so heart-breaking in +my life. He was again shut up, and even his strength was not equal to +tearing down the walls that held him, though I am sure he did his +best. I wonder sometimes whether he hurt himself in that paroxysm of +despairing fury, how long it lasted, and what he thought when he was +let out and found that I had not answered his cry, but left him +without a word.</p> + +<p>All the way down the street, and down the next street, and into the +third, as far as the air-waves carried, I heard his voice at the same +pitch. I stood still again and again, agonised by the sound, and <i>now</i> +I cannot imagine how I resisted it. I was hundreds of miles from home; +I was staying in the sort of house that one cannot easily take +liberties with; and, at the end of a holiday, my purse was almost +empty; besides, Toby was no longer my dog, whatever might have been +his views to the contrary, and I knew that his reappearance with me on +my return to my family would be objected to in the strongest manner. +These trivial circumstances <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</a></span>overcame the impulse of my heart, and I +passed on.</p> + +<p>It is years and years ago, but I have never forgiven myself, and never +shall. Whenever I think of it—only I cannot bear to think of it—I +suffer pangs of regret and remorse acute enough to bring tears to my +eyes and make me miserable for a whole day. It sounds silly, I know, +but the fact remains. Oh, what things we would do—and not do—if we +could have our time over again! I am not so rich that I can afford to +throw money away, but I would give many hard-earned pounds to reverse +that deed. How readily he would have been given back to me, and +suffered to re-establish himself in his old home, had I properly +represented, and myself properly realised at the right moment, that +our two hearts were set on it; but I let the chance slip, and—his +people leaving soon afterwards for parts unknown—never had another.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XVI" id="CHAPTER_XVI"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[214]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XVI<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE GREAT STRIKE</h4> +<br /> + +<p>This is another chapter that some readers may like to skip. If talk +about a dog is too trivial for those who do not care for dogs, talk +about strikes and such politico-industrial matters—especially by one +unlearned in the subject—is calculated to bore intolerably the person +who merely seeks in these humble pages a little amusement for an idle +hour. But our great strike, which in point of time belongs to this +portion of my narrative, was part and parcel of my Australian life, +and no picture of that life can be made clear unless I sketch in a +line or two to indicate surrounding social circumstances of the larger +kind.</p> + +<p>When our vice-regal lady, already spoken of, was about to leave us, it +was inevitably desired to make her a parting gift. Subscriptions were +invited, and I gladly accepted the privilege of contributing thereto. +That is to say, I calculated what I could afford and prepared my +cheque. Then I was stopped by a move on the part of the official +promoters; they notified that the names of all subscribers would be +published, obviously with the intention of stimulating them to +generosity, which it did in many instances. It had the opposite effect +on me. Since it was under the eyes of the receiver that this parade of +the givers <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[215]</a></span>was to be made, and since there were certain to be +sneers—though it was small-minded to care about them—at the +self-advertiser with social ambitions, I had not the courage to enroll +myself. And the money I had set aside I sent to the funds of the great +Dock Strike in England, which was going on at that time.</p> + +<p>I mention this fact so that the poor working man and his friends may +not gather from any remarks I may make on the subject of Australian +labour conditions the mistaken idea that I am out of sympathy with his +cause. The contrary has ever been the case, and I hope always will be; +as a worker myself, I feel beyond measure for those who are unfairly +hampered in what is so stern a struggle at the best. It has been the +religion of my youth—poorly practised, I confess—to stand by the +down-trodden as against those who in their prosperity walk over them; +but whereas I was once fanatical in the matter, I am cooler-headed +now. Increasingly ignorant as I know myself to be, I understand many +things better than I did in 1889. And such enlightenment as I have +grown to in respect of the case of the working man has been given me +by himself.</p> + +<p>One thing that I have learned is to pay no regard to popular +definitions. The working man at the London Docks is so entirely unlike +in his circumstances to the whole body of working men here that it +seems an absurdity to use the same name for both. The one is possibly +the poorest of his class; the other, I should think, is beyond +question the richest. And half our working men, so-called, are not +only misnamed but grotesquely named; they are no more working men than +Paul Kruger's republic was a republic.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[216]</a></span>A few facts may be adduced to show this. But indeed the one bare fact +that this great, rich continent is in possession of less than four +million people, who say they are not able to make a living in it, is +proof enough.</p> + +<p>The "starving unemployed" are never out of our streets. Yet, to quote +newspaper comments on this chronic situation—words continually +repeated, consistently unheeded, although no one can contradict +them—"the country is languishing for the labour congested in the +Metropolis. Private enterprise is dying, being slowly killed by +Government competition. Dairymen are turning their farms into +sheep-runs because they cannot get labour; fruit in the orchards is +rotting on the trees or on the ground from the same cause. The +selectors in Gippsland especially are crippled; they find it +impossible to get their land cleared. But everywhere through the state +there is the same complaint of scarcity of labour.... The Government +has raised the rate of wages to seven shillings a day ... the labourer +naturally prefers the Government stroke, and can be tempted away from +that easy and pleasant way of passing his time only by an increased +rate of wages. That increased rate very few industries can afford to +pay; thus all enterprise is crushed." So that one sees where the main +responsibility lies. It is not all the fault of the spoiled children +when they turn out badly.</p> + +<p>This one of several political Frankensteins now has its creator by the +throat. The "Organised Unemployed of the City" do their best to make +the life of the Government a burden to it. They will not leave the +city even for the Government stroke (synonym for work scamped and +shirked, the pretence <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[217]</a></span>of work) elsewhere—on account of their +families, they say, whom they cannot expose to the rigours of Bush +life. "What," cried a shocked deputationist to a courageous Minister +of Railways who had ventured to suggest that course as better for the +families than having their husbands doing nothing in town, "you don't +mean to say that a man should take his wife into the Mallee with him? +Well, any man who wishes a woman to live there in a tent with her +husband has no respect for humanity." The Mallee was "a hell upon +earth," and—on account of the ants that crawled upon the +sleepers—"the sleeping accommodation beastly."</p> + +<p>An independent inquiry amongst a crowd of "starving unemployed" +outside the Government Labour Bureau had some curious results. One +"young fellow" who had been railway cutting, "finding, after a +fortnight's trial, that he could not earn more than thirty shillings a +week, left the job and came back to join" these mendicants. The +reporter of this instance added that "fifty others left at the same +time and for the same reason." Another had thrown up a job of eight +shillings a day on the familiar plea that his wife and family were in +Melbourne. Asked by the inquirer whether he could not have taken them +with him to Camperdown—one of the finest settled districts in the +state—he answered "Yes," but "he could not carry along a quarter-acre +allotment." Another "did not care where he worked, but he must have +twelve shillings a day."</p> + +<p>The same issue of the paper which enlightened us in this way as to +what starving means to some folks, published the following:—</p> + +<p>"The contractor for the supply of road metal to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[218]</a></span>the Coburg Shire +Council has informed the Shire Engineer that he cannot obtain +sufficient stone-breakers for the necessary work under his contract. +At the meeting of the Council last evening the recommendation of the +engineer that the matter be brought under the notice of the local +parliamentary representatives was adopted." The only comment to make +upon this paragraph is that Coburg is not even country like +Camperdown, but a part of Melbourne. Stone-breaking, it is to be +inferred, is too much like hard work.</p> + +<p>This also is public and uncontradicted testimony:—</p> + +<p>"It has been represented that many of the men who are clamouring for +employment are unfitted for heavy navvying labour but are eager for +light work. Mr Andrew Rowan, proprietor of St Hubert's Vineyard, put +this desire to the test yesterday. He wanted twenty men to assist in +gathering grapes ... and he went to the Labour Bureau to obtain them. +They were offered a fortnight's work at nine shillings per week, with +good quarters and food, and free passes to the vineyard. Out of 150 +men who were outside the Bureau, only eight promised to go, but +actually only four proceeded to St Hubert's by the appointed train."</p> + +<p>Exactly the same result of a Government effort to make acceptable work +for a large body of the unemployed occurred a few days previous to +this present date of writing.</p> + +<p>But I must hasten to say that these State-made drones—these spurious +workers, deliberately manufactured by Government out of material from +which the genuine article might have been made—are not all the family +of labour in this house of ours. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[219]</a></span>They are not even all the +unemployed, worse luck!</p> + +<p>What, I wonder, are the numbers of those who starve—really starve—in +secret because the law forbids them to work for less than seven +shillings a day, which they cannot earn with service not worth the +half of it—all the old and slow and weak, but yet self-respecting and +self-reliant, whose honest bread the Minimum Wage Act has taken out of +their mouths? One is sick of the continual begging of these victims to +inexorable inspectors and Boards to be allowed to work for thirty +shillings a week—for twenty-five—one poor tailoress, who had +supported herself with her needle for fifteen years, stood up in court +and begged with tears to be allowed to work for twelve shillings and +sixpence, which she said would "keep" her—and seeing the invariable +brutal verdict given against them. I cannot bear to talk about it.</p> + +<p>And there are all those outside what may be called the official +working class, to which even these compulsorily-idle unfortunates +belong—salt amid the rottenness that wastes our young nation almost +before it has begun to live. How many of the fine young fellows who +went soldiering to South Africa have looked to that country for home +and work when soldiering was done? I could name a round dozen amongst +my own acquaintances. As a fact, they and their civilian comrades are +pouring thither as fast as they can get passage money and a hundred +pounds together; every ship that sails that way is packed with them. +"There is no opening for them here," say the fathers and mothers who, +when they were young, fared so differently; and they scrape and screw +to give their boys a chance. Well will they prove the quality of their +manhood if they <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[220]</a></span>get it, as the "contingenters" amongst them have +already done. But imagine going from a country like Australia to a +country like South Africa (as it is now) for a chance!</p> + +<p>Take again the youths of our cricket-fields—who, however, are one and +the same. Hard, quick-witted, thorough, "playing the game" in every +sense of the term, there is no evidence about them of deterioration +from British standards; rather the contrary, indeed, for the generous +climate and comparative brightness of life have added buoyancy to the +hereditary temperament, the good that happy circumstances always bring +to the originally wholesome nature. And those young men are the +diluted second generation of the race I knew in the old days—the +pioneers, who feared blacks and bushrangers far less than the +"starving unemployed" fear ants.</p> + +<p>See also the gallant Bushmen who go out into the wilds to "take up" +land, and who stay there, fighting with bare hands not only against +the forces of virgin Nature, but under fiscal burdens heavier than are +borne by any other class; who scorn to ask alms of the State which +they serve so well, and who bring up hardy children to the same fine +traditions of manly self-respect. Think of these men having to "turn +their farms into sheep-runs because they cannot get labour"—working +themselves so hard, early and late, as they do (for at least that is +allowed in their case)—while unworthy loafers are cockered up with +"Government works," often devised on purpose for them, and fancy wages +that they do not pretend to earn!</p> + +<p>Above all, there are the women. In the old times the Bush wives, from +the highest to the lowest, made their homes, so to speak, with their +own <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[221]</a></span>hands. The squatter's wife, who later came to her town house and +her carriage, did "all her own work" cheerfully "when she had to do +it," and is rarely ashamed to acknowledge the fact—refers to it, +indeed, with a wistful tenderness of voice and heart that plainly +tells how she compares the hard times with the easy ones. And after +that cataclysm already described—the Bursting of the Boom—when the +revels of riches were so rudely interrupted, as if somebody had turned +the gas off suddenly, what did we see? The girls who had never had to +work, who had seemed to live entirely for pleasure, who appeared to us +eaten up with the frivolity of their luxurious lives, as soon as their +great houses fell, instead of sitting down to mourn and weep, +overwhelmed with the shame of such a tremendous social "come-down," +turned to, like Britons indeed, to help their ruined fathers and to +support themselves. In no faddy, fine-lady fashion either. They took +the work that they could do, with no false pride about its being trade +or otherwise, and at this day you may see them still at it, calm and +business-like, never wanting favour on the score of having "seen +better days," never so much as reminding one that they have seen them. +They run many tea-rooms, or wait in them, or make cakes for them; they +keep various little shops, are milliners and dressmakers, typewriters, +dentists, all sorts of things.</p> + +<p>It was significant that our great Labour War developed with the Boom, +and that the defeat of the insurgents coincided with the downfall of +the rotten edifice that had towered so high. They were correlating +forces, the Boomsters and the Strikers, and worked together to pull +our house about our <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[222]</a></span>ears, as effectually as if it had been their +conscious purpose to do so. When the fight began the aggressors had no +wrongs to right, no worthy cause to fight for; on the contrary, they +were in a position to make them the envy of their class throughout the +world. They had but eight hours' toil for a day's wage of eight +shillings to ten shillings and more; universal suffrage; payment of +members in a Parliament where the labour vote was paramount; and +behind them that immense trades-union organisation which embraced the +whole continent, and as a governing power had but a handful of troops +and a few hundreds of police against it. What was left for the working +man to claim? I have searched the records for a justifiable cause of +the effects that made our strike unique in the industrial history of +those times, and I cannot find any. The only ostensible grievance on +the pastoral side was that a few squatters proposed to reduce wages +when wool was "up" and cheated their men by selling them poor food at +high prices; on the maritime side that ships' officers found +themselves, not ill-paid, except as all sailors are ill-paid, but paid +less than the unionist (and therefore more privileged) seamen under +them. If there was any other ground for hostilities it nowhere +appears, and as a fact hostilities were in progress long before the +two grievances mentioned took shape.</p> + +<p>We laughed at a funny little incident that occurred at the beginning +of the year, not realising all it signified. A baker in a poor suburb +had a faithful servant who did not belong to the Operative Bakers' +Society. Discovering this, the O.B.S. demanded his dismissal. The +baker refused to dismiss him. The O.B.S. then detailed two <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[223]</a></span>delegates +in a buggy to follow the baker's cart on its rounds, and to prevent +the delivery of his bread at every door. Upon which the baker armed +himself with a gun, and in another buggy followed the delegates, +threatening to shoot them at each attempt to interfere with his +business. The little procession was the delight of the streets for +some hours, I believe, when the delegates retired from the contest to +take out a summons. The baker was haled before justices and fined—but +only ten shillings, in consideration of his gun having been empty, and +of the "considerable provocation" that he had received. What became of +the baker's man I do not know, but I can guess.</p> + +<p>Another case, with nothing laughable about it, was that of a poor, +small farmer, who did all his own work. To him came the secretary of +the Slaughtermen's Union, demanding to be informed who killed his pigs +for market. When the farmer admitted doing it himself, he was told +that unless he joined the Union, and paid up all back fees, his pork +would not be allowed to be sold in the Melbourne markets. He wanted to +know whether the S.U. had leased the markets, or how else they +proposed to bar his pork. Simply, he was informed, by "calling out the +slaughtermen from the sheds of any salesman who dared to sell for +him." Thus this poor man had to join the Union, at a cost beyond his +means, to make himself liable for strikes and other things that he +disapproved of, or starve. And thus did Unionism, designed to +frustrate tyranny, play the licentious tyrant in its turn—not in +thoughtless passion but methodically and on principle, wresting the +liberty of the individual from him by brute force.</p> + +<p>Instances of this kind multiplied daily, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[224]</a></span>slowly roused +us—long-suffering people as we are—to a perception of our case as +Britons who never would be slaves. This was slave-driving pure and +simple; a bit of the Middle Ages back again, when men were denied +their elementary rights and had no redress. The reign of ignorant +tyranny passed, as it was bound to pass, but it has left its mark on +the national character. The habit of the high hand comes out in all +sorts of ways—in our treatment of our Chinese fellow-citizens, in the +despotic attitude of our Federal Government, which regards foreign +nations as pirates and our coloured brothers as vermin unfit to live. +And how the habit of being bullied has demoralised us is shown by our +acquiescence in a state of political bondage that hardly leaves us +free to blow our own noses in our own way.</p> + +<p>There was no limit to the extravagance of Unionist demands, most of +them ultimatums couched in Kruger-like terms. As, for instance, this +letter addressed to a ship captain who had dispensed with the services +of a misbehaving member of the crew who happened also to be a delegate +of the Seamen's Union:—"Dear Sir,—I am instructed by the members of +the above Society to state that we intend to have our delegate, —— +——, reinstated on board the ——. If he is not reinstated by the +return of the ship to Sydney, the crew will be given their twenty-four +hours' notice." The agents of the Company replied on behalf of the +captain that the man had been discharged "because a change was +considered advisable in the Company's interests," but that there was +"no objection to his joining one of the other vessels of the Company." +This mild and generous answer was of no avail. The Union called out +the crew, and forbade its members ever to ship under the offending +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[225]</a></span>captain in any vessel whatever. It was the tone of voice in which the +"other side" was habitually addressed. The Mill Employés, who would +have all their managers—gentlemen with salaries of £300 and £400 a +year, not one of whom could have been replaced from their +ranks—forced to join their Union with them; the Stewards and Cooks, +who would have their members on ships exempted from the punitive +regulations attached to losses of plate, and so on; the Tinsmiths and +Ironworkers, who would abolish piecework—always hateful to the +political working man; the Implement-makers, who would make ten +shillings a day the minimum wage and required other privileges—all +formulated their demands in the terms of the Seamen's letter. Indeed, +the most painful part of the business was the callous rudeness of the +methods pursued, which openly made the redressing of wrongs of less +importance than the humiliating of the adversary on whom, as it were, +the tables had been turned. Of course, it is here that one must admit +the two sides to the question, and make allowances for the one that is +not one's own. Still—even if we would have done the same under the +same circumstances—the element of personal insult was deplorable. +That indignity put upon the captain who was not allowed to know his +own business, or do it, was repeated with others as often as occasion +offered. There was a member of the Engine-drivers' and Firemen's +Association who, being appointed a delegate to some meeting or other, +left his work and went off to attend it without troubling himself to +ask leave of absence. He returned after five days, and was dismissed +for his act of insubordination. Upon which his Union notified his +employers that if they did not reinstate <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[226]</a></span>him the workers at his trade +would be called out. No just-minded person, whatever his sympathies, +can condone such unfair and un-British tactics of war.</p> + +<p>These, however, were but the sporadic skirmishes of the campaign. The +great engagements were two—they went on together and intermingled—the +Shearers' Strike and the Maritime Strike. I think the records establish +clearly that the Shearers began the trouble. Coincidently the Marine +Officers (not all the captains—at anyrate, not those of my +acquaintance—who do not desert their posts under any circumstances) +put themselves, which practically meant the ships as well, under the +"protection" of the Trades Hall—put themselves really under the +domination of the men they were supposed to govern, that they might +force the hands of their masters as the latter had done; but it was the +Shearers' announcement, already made, of their monstrous intentions +that showed the ship-owners what they were in for, and the necessity +for putting the foot down at this point. Having, as they expressed it, +"made concession after concession, for the sake of peace, until they +found that the ever-increasing requirements of the labour bodies +threatened to take the control of their business entirely from them," +they now refused to treat with their officers as unionists, taking all +the consequences of so defiant an act. It was a fight for existence +that had come upon them and the Pastoralists, who between them +represented the staple interests of the country; and they combined +their forces and stood up to continue the argument with the weapons of +the other side. They too formed Unions.</p> + +<p>But it was the Shearers who began it. Long <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[227]</a></span>before the shearing +season, the squatters had been commanded to employ none but Union men, +and had continued to employ non-unionists, although sparely, just to +show their independence. The squatters, with the farmers, and indeed +all the country dwellers who have settled homes, are the steady-going +Conservatives of the community, some good reasons for which will be +obvious to the thoughtful reader. Country interests seem always—which +is a great pity—opposed to town interests. There is a "country party" +in every parliament, and in the navigation of public affairs it +generally makes bad weather of it; but this is not due to the quality +of its representatives so much as to their deficient quantity, to the +fact that it is too busy at home to take such part in politics as +would qualify it to meet the other side on equal terms. But it is a +tough-fibred, stout-hearted breed of men, that has not accustomed +itself to being bullied. And it said—and stuck to it with truly +splendid gallantry—that no men or body of men could be allowed to +abrogate "the right of all to work peaceably under the laws of their +country." Very well, said the Shearers' Union in the inevitable +manifesto, then "not an ounce of non-union wool shall go unfought from +Australasia." "All right," rejoined the Pastoralists, in effect, "do +your worst."</p> + +<p>Consider for a moment the Pastoralists' case. They too were men +working for their living—we have no leisured class here—and few of +them but had suffered from droughts and bad times, and depended on +their clip to ease financial embarrassments. "A ring of capitalists +conspiring to crush labour" was how they were constantly described by +the strike leaders, but nothing was further from their intentions than +to ruin themselves if they could <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[228]</a></span>help it—the patent result of +hostile action at this time. They only accepted that risk because +there was a higher thing than money at stake. The Shearers, on the +other hand, were exceedingly well off. Good men could get £30 for a +few weeks' work, and then have the bulk of the year for other +avocations, or go on earning at that rate for months together. And the +shearing was not only the sheep farmer's harvest, it was the country's +as well, and all the interests of the country were bound up with it.</p> + +<p>But the strike leaders said that every ounce of wool that came from a +station on which so much as one non-unionist (a Chinese gardener was +sufficient in one case) was employed, was to be boycotted by the whole +strength of the federated labour organisations, and they +light-heartedly set out to do it. Very soon after the commencement of +active hostilities they claimed "the aid of the labour unions of +England, whom in their hour of need Australia aided so well"—as to +which it may be said that of the £20,887 sent to the London dockers up +to 20th November 1889, only £5817 was contributed by the trade +societies; the rest was the gift of soft-hearted non-unionists like +myself, who did not bestow it to ask it back again.</p> + +<p>The great shipping companies—I think the British India was the +first—were ordered to refuse non-union wool as cargo. When they +protested that they were mere public carriers for the world, and that +such a local matter was no concern of theirs, the Wharf Labourers were +called upon to refuse to load it or "come out" in a body. Bakers, +butchers, and other trades were not to supply those vessels which +touched the forbidden thing. When clerks and other non-professional +persons took up the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[229]</a></span>abandoned work, the usual picketing and +persecution ensued—the conventional routine of strikes in all +countries. The odds just here seemed hopelessly against the defenders, +the sheer force of numbers overwhelming. The Seamen's Unions, with +which the Marine Officers had cast in their lot, had cast in theirs +with the Shearers and others, or, rather, their leaders had done so +for them; and the crews came out, officers and all, at a few hours' +notice, as they were "called" one after another, although the +passengers might be on board and perishable cargoes doomed. "Wharves +deserted" was a flaring headline in our morning papers, and the number +of vessels named as compulsorily "laid up" rose daily. The campaign, +from the unionist point of view, progressed without a hitch.</p> + +<p>Until the gas-works went on strike. "All the men at the works come +out," was announced to us one morning, and night brought an uncertain +dimness to the streets and a realisation of what was happening—the +plunging of our great city into darkness, while flooded with this +dangerous element of mob rule.</p> + +<p>This did seem a little too much, and the worm turned. There were +meetings of the Cabinet, and a wholesale creation of special +constables. It was announced by Authority that "order must be +maintained at all hazards," and that it was resolved "to bring 100 +members of the Mounted Rifles, with their horses, and 100 members of +the Rangers from the country districts into Melbourne without delay." +It was ordered that these troops "be kept on duty at the Military +Barracks, St. Kilda Road, and not brought into the city unless +occasion should demand it." But the Governor issued a proclamation +which <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[230]</a></span>warned all concerned that a state of legal "riot" had arrived, +which called for legal measures.</p> + +<p>The strikers were nonplussed. First, they did not believe in it; then +they felt furiously insulted; then they "went for" revenge headlong. +That is to say, the strike leaders did so, not only because such was +the natural course for them to take, as enemies of society who had had +soldiers set at them, but because it would have been as much as their +places were worth to admit that they had over-reached themselves. +Powerful they must remain at any cost, or, as far as they were +personally concerned, the game was up; and for the remainder of the +fight, as we saw it, they used all that splendid loyalty and +confidence which was, as it were, trust-money in their hands, to this +one end. If the gas-works could not be taken by assault, they could by +mining. The order went forth that "no more coal ships owned by the +Victorian steamship owners be loaded." The ship-owners being to a +large extent the coal-owners, the wide-reaching effects of this move +can be imagined; every poor family felt them. With a stroke of the pen +the Labour Congress in Sydney called out not only "all the miners from +the Western mines," but "all shearers, rouseabouts, carriers and +others <i>in any way connected with the wool industry</i>"—plain wool now, +and never mind who took it from the sheeps' backs. This was the last +card of those desperate gamblers—to destroy the wool industry bodily, +£20,000,000 of the "living" of 4,000,000 people—and it finished the +game they had already thrown away, so far, at anyrate, as Victoria was +concerned. During the following year, 1891, there was a tough struggle +in Queensland, where shearing began with the first month. The +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[231]</a></span>Amalgamated Shearers had hoped that Pastoralists (now amalgamated too) +would "yet see their foolhardiness, and come to some satisfactory +arrangement in favour of the portion of their new rules, which are +obnoxious to the Shearers;" but the Pastoralists did not. Freedom! +Freedom! was still their cry, and they had more strength to back it +now. And when the disappointed ones took to riding about the immense +colony in armed bands, firing grass and wool-sheds, turning (at +anyrate, threatening to turn) out rabbits, and laying obstructions on +the railway lines that carried non-union workmen, then troops and guns +were sent to all the endangered places as far as they would go round, +so that at last the defence was passed on to the Queensland Government +itself, which had to end the duel. But it was in November 1890 that +the Trades of our colony, in meeting assembled, were informed by their +leaders that the strike was at an end, and they must make the best +terms they could with the employers. And our soldiers had not to be +sent anywhere. The moral effect of their known proximity and purpose, +the disgrace of it, was enough to calm the disorder of the town. +Strike leaders took care to give them a wide berth, and the men, who +were not cowards, showed by their attitude of insulted dignity how +this strong measure on the part of Government brought home to them the +lengths to which they had gone. The captain of a mail steamer once +sketched for me the comical picture of his big ship lying off a +certain hostile shore, under the protection of a British gun-boat that +he could have "put into his pocket"; so this handful of +uniforms—militia at that—sufficed to check that mighty organisation +of tens of thousands <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[232]</a></span>which so far had stuck at nothing. They did it +by merely "keeping on duty at the Military Barracks," without showing +a nose outside the barrack gates.</p> + +<p>I do not know whether they were disappointed that no more was required +of them, but I think they were, for it was their first chance of +service in the field—as much as they would ever get, it appeared at +the time. Certainly they responded with alacrity to the call for them, +and "stood by" for action with the air of men enjoying themselves. +Tents were pitched in the Barrack Square, and the little camp seethed +with the excitement of its sudden importance. This feature of the +great strike was one of much personal interest to me, because the +barracks were a haunt of mine at this period. A beloved friend, now in +her grave, was there, the wife of the colonel who created the Mounted +Rifles, who commanded the Second Victorian Contingent in South Africa, +a fine soldier of a race of soldiers, and now a C.B. in Imperial +recognition of the fact. Since the breaking-up of my town home at +Toorak, on the death of its head, whose daughter she was, her official +quarters had been its substitute; and many indeed are the happy +memories that flood back upon my mind when now I ride past the massive +granite pile without stopping as I used to do. As a family residence +it was not considered a success. The Barrack Square, seemingly walled +off, was not walled off enough for officers' little boys; the tall +rectangular rooms were gloomy, the stone stairs cold and prison-like, +the back-yard a mere well in the masonry—although the colonel kept +his shooting dogs there, and tried to keep a cow; the basement a haunt +of rats that ate our boots and shoes while they were down to be +cleaned, and one of those public stenches that <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[233]</a></span>Melbourne still keeps +amongst her institutions (though this particular one has been +eliminated) so close under the windows that it was necessary to shut +them when the wind blew a certain way. But it was an interesting place +to visit at, apart from the friendship that has hallowed it to me. The +bugle of a morning sent thrills through my waking senses, with its +associations of the past. The stately bustle of military business, +trampings and clankings, and the omnipotent word of command—the +pleasant officers dropping in so often, the reviews, the tattoos—all +had their charm for me, because then I knew only the picturesque +features of soldiering, the romantic side, which I think now it will +never wear again for anybody.</p> + +<p>And there never was a more interesting time at the barracks than that +which saw these country troops massed on the parade ground, waiting to +be summoned to so new and strange a duty. Their colonel was a man +notorious for plain speaking as for plain acting; the straight word +and the swift blow (if necessary) were his, and a perfect scorn of +consequences. In military affairs especially there was no mincing +matters. Business was strictly business. So he told the men, who might +at any time be called out to suppress civilian rioters, what they were +to do in the terms that they were accustomed to. An orderly patience +was to be maintained up to that point where the line had to be drawn; +if that were passed, then, said he, simply, "Fire low and lay 'em +out."</p> + +<p>To "fire low" was, I believe, enjoined under the given circumstances +by the regulations, and to "lay 'em out' is a colonial expression +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[234]</a></span>covering a wide field. His men understood him perfectly, and nobody +within barrack walls had an idea of the potential sensationalism of +his words. But somebody repeated them outside; the exasperated +unionists got hold of them and found a plausible grievance in them, +and they seem to have been immortalised by the tremendous rumpus that +ensued. Here were poor innocent working men, and here was this +bloodthirsty swash-buckler inciting their own brothers to slay them. +Was the country going to allow such an outrage to pass? Not if they +knew it. The colonel had to stand a sort of military trial for his +offence before the avengers could be appeased. It came to nothing, but +gave him as a scapegoat to the revilings of those with whom soldiers +had become so unpopular. They hissed him in public places. They +soothed the soreness of their other reverses by trying to make his +life a burden to him. But it only hurt him through his wife, whose +bright, good life it saddened deeply for a time. "Fire-low" or "Lay +'em out" took the place of his Christian name in the public mouth, and +they keep it still, only that now the bitter nicknames have come to +sound almost like terms of endearment.</p> + +<p>For when the South African struggle came to widen our outlook in so +many directions, there was such a unanimous call for him all over the +country that it cannot be supposed that his one-time enemies did not +join in it. He was not chosen to lead the First Contingent, and the +crowds through which it passed from us loudly voiced their sympathy +with him in the untoward <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[235]</a></span>circumstance. I saw him go with the Second, +and the cheers that followed him from the barracks to the ship were +heart-stirring to listen to. It was thought that he was riding his own +charger, which was safe on board, and his borrowed mount was almost +denuded of its mane and tail by the enthusiasts who wanted a hair as a +memento of him; he was nearly dragged from the saddle by the press of +parting hand-shakers. It was the same when he came back, only more so. +Every returned soldier was mobbed by his friends, but the frenzied +"There he is!" and "That's him!" when the big colonel turned a corner +into view, and the resultant roar of welcome, proclaimed the popular +as well as the peculiar hero.</p> + +<p>The military intervention in the struggle of the strike appeared +decisive, but to deeper causes must be ascribed the modifications in +the situation that remained after the dust of combat was cleared away. +Labour Unions in this country were taught to "play the game" as +soldiers would never have taught them. It was the civilians who +manfully refused to knuckle under, who risked all for honour and the +public good, to whom, more than to any other cause whatever, we owe a +dozen years of industrial peace. And if that same wholesome spirit of +true patriotism would arise again to put down a form of tyranny that +has become quite as oppressive and ruinous as the Unionism of old....</p> + +<p>But we shall see that too, some day.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XVII" id="CHAPTER_XVII"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[236]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XVII<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>OVER THE BORDER</h4> +<br /> + +<p>My experiences of life in Australia, long in time, have been narrow in +space. Of the thirty years of this chronicle, not six months were +spent outside Victoria.</p> + +<p>In earlier times I paid little visits to Albury, just over the border. +We drove from Y—— in our first buggy, which was bought there, taking +the babies to a house that was full of playmates for them, and where a +couple more or less added nothing to the family cares. Looking out of +my window one morning I realised why this was so. In a back-yard +below, on a kitchen chair, sat the hostess's young widowed +sister-in-law, who lived with her and was the mother of two; these +two, my two, and the dozen or thereabouts of the family proper, sat or +stood round her like a class in school, and from a huge basin on her +lap she fed the lot, each in turn, a spoonful at a time, round and +round, until the supplies were exhausted. The serious faces of the +little ones as they opened their mouths wide one after the other +showed they were not at games, but performing a duty they were +accustomed to. When I went down to breakfast I was quietly informed +that the children had had theirs and gone out to play. But I think my +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[237]</a></span>clearest memory of Albury is of the splendid Fallon vineyards and +cellars, in which one morning a hospitable proprietor offered us +tastes of his famous brands in innumerable little glasses, which +politeness constrained me to "sample" at all costs. Taking but a sip +of each, I reckoned that I must have swallowed a quantity fully equal +to my daily allowance for a fortnight; and we drove home in the sun +directly afterwards. I am proud to say that, although not a seasoned +vessel, I passed the ordeal undisgraced even by a headache—my late +host had confidently predicted it—otherwise I should not tell this +tale.</p> + +<p>Then I once went to Tasmania—for four hours. This was not very long +ago, and I have ever since been awaiting opportunities to extend my +acquaintance with that charming place—so green, so cool, so rich in +the quality of its earth and all that springs from it, rightly +entitled to its name of the "garden island" as far as my skimming eye +could judge. Being out of health, I had taken one of those sudden +longings for the sea which come over me at such times, an instinctive +animal craving after the natural remedy for my complaint; and I had a +friend in the captain of a smart steamer plying to Tasmanian ports. An +invitation to a trip, as a privileged passenger, was too tempting to +be refused. Thus I found myself one morning, tucked up in pillows and +a 'possum rug in a long chair on the bridge, eating my breakfast of +fried fish and coffee while I gazed at the Tasmanian shore, which we +skirted between ports for several hours. We were near enough to +discern the little farmhouses in the nooks of the hills, the little +figures of milkers and carters, and housewives hanging the wash on the +clothes <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[238]</a></span>line; and there was a beautiful coach-road running up and +down and round the corners amongst the trees that I shall never be +satisfied until I have driven over. I have spoken of it to those who +have, and they tell me that imagination cannot conceive of it as more +beautiful than it really is, given the right season and weather.</p> + +<p>By-and-by we turned a corner ourselves and steered into a channel that +presently opened out into a little inland bay, a little port, +connected by a toy railway with Launceston. Its little town and +wharves, where other ships were loading and unloading, occupied a +section of the wooded hills enclosing it; elsewhere the green +basin-rim was dotted with nestling homes, and their orchards and +gardens. It was towards noon, and I was called to an early lunch, +after which the captain appeared in mufti to take me for a walk. We +were through the streets in a few minutes, and on a quiet road lined +with great holly-hedges, a mighty tree of which, one blaze of scarlet, +stood in a garden where the earliest spring flowers were sprouting +from rich brown earth such as I had never seen on this side of the +world. We followed the course of the bay as it narrowed in amongst the +hills until it became a mere woodland brook burrowing under the +bushes. The grass was lush and dewy, and the colour of the soil, where +the path revealed it, as delightful to English eyes as the colour of +flowers. It was too early for more than a sprinkling of these, but I +filled my hands with ferns and other vernal treasures that told me +what a Paradise the land would be in a few weeks if that was a fair +sample of it. We "hustlers" of the mainland think it a fine place to +visit in the hot weather, but far too dull and behind-the-times to +live in; but <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[239]</a></span>to those who love Nature and a quiet home, and find +their intellectual resources in themselves, what an ideal environment! +"Here," said I to the captain, as we strolled back to the ship, "is +where I should like to spend my last days—to rest when work is done." +The idea obscured for a time the settled plan of my life, which is to +get "Home" somehow before the final event. We sailed in the afternoon, +and from the bridge I watched the fading of the green land as I had +watched its unfolding, but feeling now that it was my friend for life. +Now and then you look into a face which gives you the masonic sign of +a natural affinity, absent in fifty faces that ought to be more dear; +thus it was with Tasmania, which captured my heart at the first +glance.</p> + +<p>The furthest and the chiefest of my few jaunts abroad was to the +mother-city of the mother-state—Sydney. And there is no place like +Sydney. I am firm on that point, although I am a Victorian, in whom +such an admission is rank heresy; and a son of mine who has spent +several Long Vacs. there—in summer, when I would not go near it—is +even more decidedly of the same mind. It was in the year following +that of my illness in hospital, and while I was enjoying my fresh +lease of life, that I took the journey after several false starts.</p> + +<p>The captain—an intimate friend in private life—of an Orient liner +telegraphed to me his arrival in port, the hour of his departure for +Sydney, and the information that cabins had been reserved for me. Two +of them, I found when I got on board. As I did not travel with a maid +I took but one, which afforded twice the accommodation that I had paid +for; even that I only occupied for a night. It was a stormy night, and +at daybreak the captain and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[240]</a></span>stewardess surveyed from the doorway a +wretched object in the lower bunk, and it was ordered that I be +brought upstairs to the commander's quarters. His cabin on deck had +been my drawing-room the evening before; it now became my lodging +altogether until we reached port. In the fresh air blowing through it, +and after a light meal of champagne and biscuits, I recovered my +equilibrium, and was able to thoroughly enjoy myself all day. Then the +captain betook himself to the chart-room, where he had a bed that the +weather did not allow him to use, and his servant wedged me in with +pillows as I lay, still wearing the becoming and comfortable +dressing-gown of semi-public life. I had promised not to undress, in +view of his intention to fetch me up to the bridge when the little +world below had done with us, that I might be gratified by the sight +of a storm at sea under circumstances quite outside the common +experience and never likely to occur again in mine. It was officially +a "full" gale, and the newspapers of the next morning reported the +velocity of the wind to have been up to eighty miles an hour. It was, +moreover, the depth of winter and the dead of night. The turmoil of +the sea was tremendous, but it did not upset me now; I was quite well +and happy, swinging to the heavy roll and pitch of the ship in the +soft but tight clasp of my wedging pillows, thankful that no feeling +of sleepiness came to waste the time that was storing such romantic +impressions. Presently the skipper called at the half-open door. He +had oilskins and a woollen scarf, into which I was buttoned and tied; +he dragged me out into the storm, and somehow we staggered and +struggled over the swimming deck and up the stairs to the bridge and +the chart-room, where I spent half <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[241]</a></span>of the most wonderful night of my +life, with him and the helmsman and the spirits of the Deep. The +picture of that midnight sea could not fade from my memory in a +thousand years. Looking down from our high platform in the air at the +bulk of the vessel under us, big mail steamer that she was, the +thought of her as man's work, effectually defying, as it seemed, the +whole weight of the Universe, was more inspiring than words can say. +Still more wonderful was the fortitude and vitality of two ships that +passed us, fighting against the furious wind and not being hurtled +along before it as we were. I was sure they were foundering, but not a +bit of it—they were only going to be late at their destination.</p> + +<p>We were early at ours, passing through Sydney Heads at daybreak before +pilots expected us. When I went down to my cabin to dress I found my +belongings stowed on the upper bunk and the rest of the room wet from +the deluging seas that had swept us through the night. It was raw and +grey now, but calm within the harbour, the loveliness of which did not +reveal itself to me immediately. I was too rushed to get my hair done +and my shore clothes on to have time to look for it. Here we have +three hours of smooth water on which to make landing toilets; Sydney +has but a few minutes. When I returned, cloaked and bonneted, to my +late host, his successor was with him, awaiting me; and I was soon at +breakfast on shore, making the acquaintance of what I believed to be +the most charming city in the southern hemisphere. Well, at anyrate, +it is incomparably charming to me. Of course, if I had gone there as a +friendless woman, to struggle for a living in cheap lodgings, I might +have pronounced it ordinary—even horrid, a term that I once actually +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[242]</a></span>heard applied to it by a mole-eyed person to whom it had never given a +good time. Or if I had gone again, to get second impressions. Or if +the weather—that arbitrary dispenser of joy and beauty—had not been +as heavenly-sweet as it was for all the three weeks of my sojourn +there. My letters from home reported rain, snow, dull skies, bad +colds, a thorough winter of discontent; I was out every day in +sunshine tempered with cool sea winds, an exhilarating freshness that +made a bit of fur and an evening fire comfortable; and the wild +flowers of spring were beginning to speckle the hills—cascades of +something like white foam surrounded a rocky lunching camp on a +memorable occasion—although it was only July.</p> + +<p>I cannot recall one hour that does not bring pleasant thoughts to +mind. Even at night I lay with the gleaming harbour under my eyes +whenever I liked to open them to look, and I loved the strange +experience of having my room flooded as with a search-light by the +revolving beam of the great South Head Light. As an early riser I +habitually wake at dawn, and then I watched the moving ships—a +pastime I could never weary of—until called to my bath. They curved +in and right up to the thresholds of our doors—that is one of the +features of this harbour which few others can match. The masts seem to +grow out of the streets, and you can step from the deck of a great +liner to your cab as easily as from one room to the next.</p> + +<p>At breakfast the programme for the day was submitted, and always it +had been carefully compiled so as to comprise as much variety of +pleasure as possible. I was taken on a cursory tour over the city the +first day—round the Domain and through the <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[243]</a></span>main streets and +beauty-places, to get that first good impression which has so much to +do with the after ones. I was enchanted with Sydney—even with the +narrow and twisted thoroughfares that are the mock of all good +Melbournites; they give "bits" of architectural composition delightful +to the uncommercial eye. In the evening we went to the theatre, and +afterwards to Parliament House, where the debaters came between whiles +to speak to us, and where I enjoyed a quite new and intensely +interesting experience up to one o'clock in the morning. Next day I +was at the Prorogation, and members entertained us with champagne in +private rooms, and I was shown parliamentary life behind the scenes. I +remember Lord Brassey was there, a visiting yachts-man, whom we did +not then anticipate would be anything more to us. As the hero of <i>The +Voyage of the Sunbeam</i>—then lying in Farm Cove, open to sightseers—I +looked at him a great deal, and also at the author of that book, who +at the ceremony sat just before me with her little daughters. She was +having her last taste of travel and of life.</p> + +<p>The afternoon of the same day brought quite a change of scene. That +very nice man, the current American Consul, came to fetch us to a +function that was after my own heart—the "send-off" of a popular +American actress by the San Francisco mail. I cared nothing who the +honoured person was; to assist at the departure of a ship was enough +for me. In a carriage piled with flowers we drove to the quay, and +there took tender for the <i>Zealandia</i>, lying in Lavender Bay. Before +the arrival of the heroine of the occasion I investigated the ship +that was to carry her—wondering if the day would ever come when such +an one would carry me. Then the crowd <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[244]</a></span>gathered until all one's wits +were needed to avoid being crushed in alley-ways and corners. The +distinguished traveller did not impair the effect by arriving too +early; her company preceded her, also her humble husband, hugging her +jewel-box to his breast as he hunted for the purser to take it from +him and deposit it in the strong-room, and while still unrelieved of +his responsibility naming to us and the general public the enormous +sum that it was worth. When at last she came—such a small and +ordinary-looking, every-day woman compared with the glittering stage +vision of the previous night—she was nursing and guarding a strange +bundle of her own, which, when opened in her cabin, disclosed a little +native bear that she was taking home to make a pet of. The wallet that +was to be its travelling house was lined with fur and had been +carefully constructed for the purpose, and a consignment of the +animal's natural foods was amongst her luggage. We crowded into her +room, where more champagne flowed, not always into the right +receptacles; bouquets were presented—they heaped her bed—and +speeches made. Then visitors were rung off the ship, and sat round in +their various small boats to cheer and wave handkerchiefs while the +<i>Zealandia</i> got under way, and then chased the stately liner as long +as they could keep up with her. Our golden-haired friend was kind +enough to stand where we could see her, and was still hugging the fur +bag with the little bear in it as we looked our last. When we regained +the Consul's carriage he took us a drive round the Domain for the +balance of the afternoon, that loveliest hour when Sydney glows pink +in the setting sun and the whole scene is steeped in a dream-like haze +that I never saw in any other place. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[245]</a></span>I suppose the smoke and other +breathings of the city, blending perhaps with exhalations of the sea, +weave that wonderful veil. It is certain that the paintings of a +sinking sun upon distant ranges in the country are never so beautiful +as when there is a Bush fire about.</p> + +<p>Next morning to Lane Cove—the first of the unforgetable series of +excursions about that harbour which indeed the wildest boasts of its +shore-dwellers could never do justice to. In the bright winter +weather, which to all intents and purposes was spring—the mean +temperature of Sydney, by the way, is two degrees above that of Nice, +and roses are never out of flower the whole year round—I suppose I +saw it at its best. We landed from the steamer on a bosky and solitary +shore, and basked awhile on beach boulders encrusted with oysters, +before climbing the steep paths to look at views. My son tells me that +when he goes on these excursions with his young parties they take +bread and butter and their pocket-knives with them, so that they can +sit down to a meal of oysters at any place or time. There was another +charming drive in the afternoon; in the evening theatre again, and a +midnight visit to a great newspaper office, where I was initiated into +the mysteries of newspaper production by all the modern processes, +including that of photographing by electric light.</p> + +<p>Next day to Coogee—an ocean shore, with great breakers thundering on +it. Here lived a literary wife and painter husband in a little wooden +house perched high upon the cliffs, where I think we lunched. A +Saturday night party of authors, artists, and press-men—my host was a +distinguished member of the latter clan—completed another day <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[246]</a></span>in the +most brilliant manner. Talk of good company! I smile when I compare +that party with any Society party that I ever attended. But no +comparison is possible.</p> + +<p>It is one of my delightful memories of Sydney, that it had this +intellectual kernel at its heart. I might not have found it in a +lifetime had I entered the social life of the place by any other door, +and so I hardly like to say that we have nothing of the kind in +Melbourne, where my opportunities of search are limited. But friends of +my own profession, who know the resources of both capitals, agree in +the opinion that there really is nothing like it here. The number of +representatives of letters and the arts, to whom mind and not money is +the essential thing, may be as great, but there is no cohesion amongst +them. They are lost in the general crowd. The little guild in Sydney +was a compact and living body, and carried out its objects in uniting +together with a sincerity rarely to be met with in the history of +clubs. Subscriptions were not the first consideration—nor the second, +nor the third; the question of its outward appearance was of the least +importance. No gilding, no formality, no æsthetics—liberty and ease, +any sort of a chair, a pipe and the right companionship—that was the +idea; and it was good indeed to see the traditions of the intellectual +life respected in that way.</p> + +<p>I was its guest at a conversazione on the Wednesday following the +Saturday supper-party. The intervening time was filled with fresh and +bright sensations—more harbour trips, alternating with rambles about +the old quarters of the town, the "Rocks," Argyle Cut, the +Observatory, those blind streets and steep stairs from one tier to +another, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[247]</a></span>which struck me as so romantic and un-Australian; and the +Arts Club's entertainment made the best possible contrast and relief +to these. We did not dress too much. I was advised that my skirt must +clear the ground, and for the rest a modest fichu and elbow sleeves +seemed the most that good taste permitted. We set forth on foot in the +cool darkness, comfortably untrammelled, and on arrival were received +by our friends of the previous Saturday and many more, who piloted us +through a series of little rooms, which were soon packed to the point +where a dress-train would have rendered its wearer altogether +immovable. We squeezed from place to place, a step at a time, ever +meeting somebody or something to make us positively enjoy the heat and +crush. Chairs and necessary tables, a piano, a blackboard, a raised +platform or two, comprised the furniture of the homely suite; its +ornaments were sketches pinned all over the walls, and the scientific +and artistic things that covered the tables, outspread for the ladies' +amusement. The mural decorations were fine. Phil May was a leading +light of the society, and the grimy and bedaubed plaster laughed with +his conceits at every turn. Amongst them was a portrait of the then +Governor of New South Wales, Lord Carington, as an utterly +disreputable vagabond. With no name to it, it was such a speaking +likeness of him, as he would have been if he could have metamorphosed +himself into such a character, that no one mistook the subject for an +instant. It was a focus of mirth the evening through. I wonder what +became of it? It might have been disrespectful, but it was a work of +art, and I think he who had inspired it would have valued it as much +as anybody. When, amongst other entertainments, this gifted +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[248]</a></span>artist—and his equally (I used to think more) gifted colleague, "Hop" +of the <i>Bulletin</i>, who, still remaining with us, has not shared his +comrade's fame—drew "lightning sketches" on the blackboard with a +lump of chalk, we saw pictures that it was indeed a wicked waste to +destroy for ever a few seconds after they were made. Consummate +artfulness as well as art was employed, for the strokes were so put in +that we could not make head or tail of them until only the crowning +one or two were needed; then suddenly the multitude roared as with one +throat, and someone in the audience sat up in confused astonishment, +while everybody else turned to look and laugh at him. The last touch +of the chalk had given us his portrait to the life, with a shade of +caricature more or less, but unmistakable. I have always looked back +to those lightning sketches, so witty, so good-natured, so extremely +clever, as the most refined form of entertainment that I ever enjoyed, +and certainly the most generous. In other rooms were music, +recitations, microscopes, and such things; and everywhere kindred +spirits were intermingling and intercommuning. The ungarnished supper +was carried on trays over our heads—coffee and sandwiches, and cakes +and tarts from the pastry-cook's—and distributed to hands and mouths +with much difficulty and various mishaps; and at last we broke up and +broke away, and trotted home through the beautiful fresh night, still +exhilarated with all the mental champagne we had imbibed, leaving our +hosts, as we were secretly informed, to make a night of it on their +own account over pipes and whisky.</p> + +<p>There was yet another Saturday party—the party of them all. We +started out to it in the sweetest <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[249]</a></span>weather to be found on earth, sunny +and fresh, the living light of the sky the colour of nemophilas and +the sea like liquid diamonds under it—poor similes both for the glory +of that spring-like winter morning. On foot from Pott's Point to the +Quay, by boat to Mosman's, up the ferny sandstone hills to breezy +heights where I stood enraptured to look upon the Sound and the Heads +and the Pacific outspread below, and down a crooked woodland path to a +sequestered beach, we took our way: and if there had been nothing to +get to at the end, the walk alone would have been a joy for ever. But +on that lonely bit of shore, backed by the steep hills, fronted by the +open gateway of the Heads, stood "the Camp"—the camp, if I may be +allowed to remind the reader (with apologies, owed twice over, to the +camp's proprietors), which I sketched in my novel, <i>A Marked Man</i>, +written while the impressions of the place were fresh in my mind. The +proprietors were two members of the Arts Club—men with homes and +families in the city—who made this their private resting-place and +holiday resort. They had gathered a choice assortment of their +fellow-members on this occasion; they were "giving a party." But no +woman had been allowed to take any hand in the affair; their wives +were as much guests as I was; their cook was their old sailor +caretaker, whose huge blocks of cold roast and boiled, hot potatoes +and plum duff, bread and cake from his own camp oven, required no +kickshaws to supplement them. It was a banquet for the gods, with that +sauce of sea air to it. The permanent tent, combined sitting- and +bedroom, was the drawing-room of groups of us in turn; we crowded on +the covered-up truckle beds and the floor (of pine boards, well raised +from the sand) for <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[250]</a></span>afternoon tea; at lunch we sat on planks under an +awning, at long plank tables, like children at a school feast. It was +a perfect "spree," but at the back of the merry trifling was that deep +intellectual enjoyment of cultivated minds rubbing together which is +so rare in social gatherings. We strolled in twos and threes along the +lovely little beach, and sprawled under the bushes, and talked, +talked; a few games had been provided, but there were no blanks to +fill with them after lunch had crystallised us. The walk back to the +boat was the best of all. The sun was setting as we climbed out of the +glen of the camp, and, looking back from points of vantage as we rose, +we saw the moon swim up over the North Head—black as ebony above the +pale glitter of the water, while all other visible land was wrapped in +that beautiful rosy haze which so glorified every feature of it. Then +the great South Head Light began its revolutions, pouring over us and +the darkening path at intervals of a minute. I do not know how far +that long ray reaches, but I know that it is brilliant in the eyes of +the homing traveller for hours before his steamer makes the Heads.</p> + +<p>It was on the following morning that we took boat for Watson's Bay, +and stood near the lighthouse to look down the sheer wall at the foot +of which the <i>Dunbar</i> was wrecked, one only of her living freight +surviving to tell the tale. It was awful to think of that event with +the scene under one's eyes—the jagged cliff face going down and down, +the thundering whirlpool raging at the bottom of it; and this was a +sunny Sunday morning, and that was pitch-black night, so thick with +rain and storm that a careful navigator accustomed to the port could +not <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[251]</a></span>see the beacon lit for him. But it was not, I think, the present +light; it could not have been.</p> + +<p>Those out-door excursions and intellectual entertainments—and I have +not named the half of them—come first in my memories of this time; +they are the pictures "on the line"; but around them were packed many +social incidents of a less special but still interesting kind. We went +to men-o'-war parties, which are always charming—the German +<i>Bismarck</i> in particular was splendidly hospitable—and the American +Consul took pleasure in giving us dinner-theatre evenings. Between +whiles we gave parties at home, and filled the interstices with +drives. And so every day was a full holiday, and I was always well, +and the sky was always blue and the sun shining. And so, when people +ask me what I think of Sydney, I tell them that it is an earthly +Paradise. Nothing will shake that conviction—until I go again.</p> + +<p>I returned home overland, rather than descend to the status of an +ordinary passenger on a steamboat to whose captain I was unknown, and +I left my glass slipper on the Redfern platform. "Would you," implored +a strange lady at my carriage window, as the express was about to +start, "oh, would you mind taking charge of this little girl, who is +travelling to Melbourne alone?" She handed up a child, and what could +I do? I said I was not accustomed to taking charge of myself, that I +had never made the journey before, and was not going as far as +Melbourne; but she was sure it would be all right. What a night I had, +with no sleeping berth available! And in the dark of the raw morning, +when we were bundled out at Albury and into the hands of the Customs' +officers, while looking after the child's luggage I lost my own, and +did not recover it for <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[252]</a></span>months afterwards. And then I landed at W——, +chilled to the bone and exhausted with my fatigues, and had to wait +many hours for the B—— branch train; and finally reached home to +find winter again and all kinds of arrears of work awaiting me. I sat +down to mend the stockings, and two days later there was snow upon the +ground.</p> + +<p>After all, that was the best part of it.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XVIII" id="CHAPTER_XVIII"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[253]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XVIII<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE END OF BUSH LIFE</h4> +<br /> + +<p>In 1893 our long country life came to an end. For years we had been +hankering after a Melbourne parish, and at times, I must confess, had +done a little canvassing for the vote and interest of the influential, +under the well-founded impression that Providence helps those who help +themselves; but it is very hard, when once "out of it," as the +country-clergy describe their case, to get in, and we had come to +consider our chances of metropolitan preferment as about equal to that +of the camel which would pass through a needle's eye. Then suddenly it +came to us, unsought.</p> + +<p>There are three ways of reaching the goal, in our diocese. To be +elected by the Board of Nominators is the regular way. When a parish +falls vacant the Board meets to fill it from a prepared list of +eligible candidates. The diocesan nominators have probably agreed upon +their man; the equal number of parochial nominators have almost +certainly done the same; the Bishop, acting as chairman, has the +casting vote. There is generally a friendly discussion, in which one +side or the other may allow itself to be over-ruled, but the result +may be fairly calculated upon when the parish representatives are +united and resolute, and not too unreasonable in their choice. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[254]</a></span>Since +they pay the piper, they naturally demand to call the tune, and +considerations of justice no less than of peace make it inadvisable to +force an unwelcome instrumentalist upon them. What the parishes want +is the man they know—the man on the spot, that is—and let him be as +young and smart as possible. Seniority and long service have no part +in the merits of the case, so far as they are concerned. The old Bush +parson who, in his favourite phrase, has borne the burden and heat of +the day, and sees himself deprived of what he regards as his +legitimate reward, is not the man for them; for the efficiency of a +church in this country is in the last resort a matter of money, which +is also—it cannot be denied, nor can it be helped—the matter of +first concern to its official guardians. A good man is desirable, of +course, but not if he is too old and out of date to draw the large and +lively congregation necessary to the maintenance of a satisfactory +income. This is the squalid way in which the voluntary system works, +and I often wish the advocates of Disestablishment at home could live +under it for a few years. On the other hand I know the defects of the +arrangement I was brought up to. I remember a half-witted rector of my +child's days, occupant of a family living, who used to run belated to +the reading-desk dragging on his surplice over his hunting pinks and +tops, or leave us to wait for him in vain while he carried his +Saturday diversions too far afield to get home for Sunday; and another +who left all to a poor curate while he lived on the income of his fat +living in foreign parts; and still another—the son of a bishop, who +had bestowed the plums of the see upon him ere he was grown up—whose +long retinue of liveried servants was an object of interest to me at +church, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[255]</a></span>who, one of the last of the big pluralists, still alive +in old age when I left England, was too high above his parishioners to +be approached except through the humble curate. There are faults in +both systems—in all. And as for the one I am speaking of, which +leaves the old worker unpaid, and gives the prize to the beginner who +has not earned it, I for my part do not see that any great wrong is +done. That the world is for the young is Nature's own decree; if we, +who are no longer of that fortunate company, cannot see it, we ought. +We too have been young, we should remember, and have had our favoured +day—that day when we had as good a chance of getting the better of +our betters (if they were our betters) as those who supersede us now. +But what I started to say was that the regular path of promotion to a +Melbourne parish is to be elected by the Board of Nominators, and that +that path was virtually closed to us—not because we were old, for we +were not, but because we were so distant and little known.</p> + +<p>The second way is to be appointed directly by the Bishop. But, with +few exceptions, the Bishop can choose for himself only in the case of +parishes too small to have their own nominators, or not bothering to +have them, or not qualified to have them because their churches are +still in debt. A church must not only be built, but paid for, before +it can be consecrated, the act of consecration carrying with it full +parochial rights. These lame ducks of parishes did not come into our +account.</p> + +<p>The third way is by exchange. This was our way.</p> + +<p>G., being in town, fell in with the incumbent of the place which is +now our home. He had occupied it for many years, without thought of +leaving it; but his wife was convalescing from severe illness, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[256]</a></span>and +the doctor had advised that she be taken from the sea to a bracing +inland climate. The climate we had to offer seemed the very thing—and +I may say here that it proved so, even beyond expectations—and the +suggestion of an exchange, coming in the nick of time as it did, was +hailed as a special interposition of Providence. That was exactly what +we thought it.</p> + +<p>About a week after G.'s return, Canon S. came up to B—— to +investigate. It rained hard, and he was a little dashed at first; he +called the picturesque little house a "shanty," though not in our +hearing. But when the weather cleared he brightened with it, and I +think I may say that he never had another regret in connection with +the place. The vestry was consulted, and the three parish nominators +gave consent. A few days later the Bishop gave his. Then G. went to +town, to be "passed," in his turn, by the vestry of the other parish, +and a night or two afterwards, as I was going to bed, the telegraph +boy brought me a message from him:—"All satisfactorily settled."</p> + +<p>The invalid came up, and we established her, with a daughter, in the +nicest lodgings we could find. She was a dreadful wreck, apparently +past being mended by any climate, but the next time I saw her she beat +all the records of persons of sixty-five for joyous energy and +youthfulness. "I wake up in the morning," she said to me, "and wonder +what it is that makes me feel so happy." It was the same with her +husband, several years her senior. "I can walk twelve hilly miles, and +take a service, and walk back again," he bragged, his figure and step +and fine-featured old face alert and alive. "I am twenty years younger +than when I came."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[257]</a></span>Certainly B—— deserves to be one of the sanatoriums of the world, +and it is the fact that English doctors, who knew its virtues, sent +several hopeless invalids to us, either to make miraculous recoveries +or to prolong for years in tolerable comfort some life not worth a +month's purchase at home. One of the latter cases I lovingly recall to +mind—that of a gifted young fellow who, with mother and sisters, had +rooms in our chief hotel year after year, although he came to us in +apparently the last stage of consumption. He was a dear friend of +mine, and a loss to the stock of intellect and genius in the world. +"Don't you think I'd better stop this?" he once said to me as we were +taking a Bush walk. "I am keeping my mother too long from her home and +the rest of her family, and doing nothing to compensate her for what I +cost." He meant that he had only to cease breathing that life-giving +air to bring on the inevitable end, and that the sooner it came the +better for those who were exiled for his sake. We discussed the matter +quite fully, and in the quietest way, and I persuaded him that it was +better to go on, on their account and his own, at least until the +effort became too painful. He died amongst us at last, but none of +them regretted those saved years which he unquestionably owed to the +B—— climate. A consumptive friend of his came out to try the cure, +and became so well that he thought himself proof against further +danger, and went home again—to die. Another consumptive, whom winters +on the Riviera and in the Engadine had failed to benefit, lived in +B—— for, I think, five years, and from the day he came gained much +ground and never lost any; he was an active townsman, hard put to it +to find enough to do, and <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[258]</a></span>seemed to enjoy life as much as any of us. +Unfortunately he had a delicate wife, a sufferer from acute asthma, +for which a milder climate was required. The rare and vigorous climate +of our hills was pronounced to be as bad for her as it was good for +him. She grew worse and worse, and so they struck camp and went down +to live by the sea—and there he died. Of course he might have died if +he had stayed in B——. On the other hand, he might have been alive +now.</p> + +<p>But the best proof I can give of the healthiness of those parts is the +case of three brothers, the elder of whom entertained me on my first +visit into the remoter wilds of our first parish. Originally they were +four brothers, sons of a highly-placed English clergyman, all four +smitten with consumption, out in Australia to save their lives, if +possible. One was too far gone and died before he could get a start; +another, being at the time in apparently sound health, was killed in a +buggy accident many years later; the remaining two are still enjoying +life, as hale as the average old man of their age, and indeed more +than that. The elder, on that memorable drive to his home amongst the +Murray ranges, told me he had left England with but one lung. "I used +to feel it when digging or climbing hills," said he, "but now it +troubles me very little"—and that was thirty years ago. He had +already been some time in the country.</p> + +<p>They had good blood in their veins, but little or no money in their +pockets, and they had to make their own way by the hardest of hard +work—the sort of work that was done in those days, when men were men. +Indeed, the history of their career is the most instructive thing that +I can put into this casual <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[259]</a></span>chronicle, and I am glad I thought of it +before too late.</p> + +<p>The three brothers took up land, wild, uncleared land, together; each +had his own piece, but neighboured the other two. With their own hands +they felled trees and made fences, and built their huts and yards, dug +and ploughed and milked and all the rest of it—these consumptive +lads!—which seems to show that not only the right air, but strong +exercise in it, is necessary for the complaint. They spent nothing in +labour and next to nothing on food. They raised their own meat and +vegetables, made their own candles—after awhile sold them as +well—and their own soap; used wild honey for sugar, and indeed +carried frugality to the finest point in every direction. As soon as +they could marry they chose useful wives, who did not want servants, +but would nurse the baby with one hand and scrub and wash and make +butter with the other. When I paid the visit I speak of I found the +children trotting about bare-footed, in linsey-woolsey (I forget how +to spell that word) overalls, little sacks in shape, with two holes to +put the legs through, in which they could make mud pies without +spoiling anything. At dinner, after the mutton, there was a lovely +apple pudding, as I thought; I remember my greedy chagrin at finding +it was filled with quinces (so soon after the W—— quinces), to be +eaten with wild honey instead of sugar. The jams were also made with +wild honey, and the cakes and other sweets.</p> + +<p>This was the way to get on in the world, and the fortunes of this +household rose to the level of its deserts. Soon after I had made his +acquaintance, the house-father took a trip home, leaving his admirable +wife to keep things going in his absence. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[260]</a></span>He came back with three +young Jackaroos, sons of the good families associated with his own, +enterprising lads with money and a desire for the life he had made +successful; they paid him high premiums for instruction, and he set +them on his farm work—which was far better, from his point of view, +than paying professional labourers to do it. One of them felt +aggrieved at being kept at milking and fencing within such narrow +bounds, and ran away and was never heard of more—by me; the other +two, and more who followed them, bought stations and took root in the +country, which they have made their own.</p> + +<p>So this plan of the relays of paying instead of paid labourers +increased the resources of our friend, and he started upon fresh +enterprises. He parted with his much-improved holding, settled his +family in a town where the growing children could go as day scholars +to one of the best public schools, and started for "out back" in +Queensland. Land speculation here was a big thing, with big money +hanging to it, in those days; and he was the right man for the golden +chance he saw. He took up country, no longer by acres but by miles, +did something to it to give it a claim to be a civilised "property," +sold it, and went back further to repeat the process.</p> + +<p>In a short time he was a very wealthy man. I believe the Boom and its +consequences gave him a bad set-back, but he could afford it. His +family, in a fine town house, have lived the life of the rich for many +years. The other surviving brother was of a slower temperament. He +still sits, as Dik would say, upon the same land that he first +squatted on—probably in the same house (with additions to it). <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[261]</a></span>He +dairy-farms, as so many of his neighbours now do, getting up with his +sons in the middle of the night to milk and to drive the load of cans +to the Butter Factory near by. He still works hard, and he has not +made his fortune. A quiet, staunch, useful man in shire and church and +all the relations of life, and "as good as they make 'em." Both are +good, and their country would be the better of a few more of the same +sort.</p> + +<p>And to think that it was all due to the accident of climate! For one +may be almost sure it was.</p> + +<p>Walk some fresh spring or autumn morning up those hills, as I used to +do—having always loved to kill two birds with one stone, and three +birds if possible, I would at those seasons take my work there, so as +to combine business with pleasure and with profit to my health—and +you will feel that you are literally drinking the elixir of life. A +week ago I went to call on an old friend come back from England, after +some years' residence there—her husband had been one of those very +Jackaroos of whom I have just been speaking—and she told me she had +been for a trip up to B——, where she had once lived, while we were +there. "I had forgotten," she said, "what that air was. It was a new +revelation to me. There certainly can be nothing like it in the +world"—and she had been travelling extensively. Yes, although I was +ill there, and felt that nothing but the sea would cure me, I go back +now at intervals, when the sea has temporarily failed in its effects, +and I get the same surprise that she did, every time. I step out upon +the little platform in the clear, cold night, at the end of my long +journey from the muggy city, and that stuff that I draw into my +expanding lungs makes a new creature of me in three breaths.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[262]</a></span>Well, those mornings in the hills ... let me try to describe one of +them—in April, let us say.</p> + +<p>It begins with a nipping-cold bath and a roaring fire to breakfast by. +But while we pile the logs on the hearth we also set wide the two +door-windows to the sun. The meal and little housekeepings disposed +of, I look out over the tree-fern on the rockery to the sky which I +can see above the bank of new-blown chrysanthemums that line the upper +fence—look at the cat basking full-length on the threshold—and fetch +my big hat. Half an hour later I am in another world.</p> + +<p>It is ten o'clock, and the sun has been shining with all its might +since eight, yet the dew is thick on the steep and rugged track and on +the little strips of lawn between the rocks; my stout boots, made on +purpose for this rough work, and the hems of my petticoats are +drenched. No delicate wild flowers in these verdant spaces now. The +grass tufts are sprinkled with dead leaves and wisps of bark with the +colour bleached out of them. When those brittle shavings were freshly +peeled their outsides were a rich chocolate tint and the insides a +tender shade of lilac. They come from a large-leaved kind of gum-tree, +and I have often carried bits home and laid them on my writing-table, +merely to look at the colour, as if they were flowers; but they fade +like flowers too.</p> + +<p>11 <span class="fakesc">A.M.</span>—I sit with pencil and paper on my knee. The sun has +long since dried my skirts and is now burning my boots. I bask in the +warmth and the matchless air, like the cat on the doorstep, and +(having successfully dodged my dog) in the utmost solitude that can be +imagined. Though the hidden town behind me is so near, I have only +once, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[263]</a></span>in scores of mornings, met a human being here—a local +naturalist with a butterfly-net. Not even a bridle-track threads the +thousand hills of which the one I sit on is as a single wave in a +heaving sea—a sea flowing to the horizon. The distant ranges and the +sky are of hues that neither language nor pigment could give an idea +of. The ranges are covered with trees, the rounded, feathery tops only +showing, with the effect of plush or the bloom of downy fruit; their +turquoise tint has a shade of indigo in it, deepening in the folds to +an intenser colour. The sky is living blue light, without an earthly +stain.</p> + +<p>Nearer—more within the limits of this world—wooded and rocky slopes, +darkly green against those heavenly blues, fold over unseen valleys at +my feet; nearer still, the gum saplings, with the sun shining through +their leaves, the sharply-contrasting spears of Murray pine, the +tossed heaps of granite rocks, mossed, lichened, fern-fringed in shady +crevices, the wattle tree that makes a frame for the beautiful whole. +It will be a golden frame later on; to-day its blossoms are +represented by crinkled buds of the size of a pin's head. Spiders' +webs shine between twigs and the green blades under them. The light +flashes up and down the little threads continually; they are never +still, though there is hardly a stir of air.</p> + +<p>But never was solitude less lonely. There is only too much +companionship for the purpose I have in view. The leaves talk, +although there is hardly a stir of air—the little tongues glitter at +the edges as they swing and turn; and another voice accompanies them, +one that never ceases and cannot be ignored. It belongs to a waterfall +in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[264]</a></span>a hidden gorge near by. The stream, yellower than any Tiber with +the washings of gold mines, tumbles several hundreds of feet over a +jagged staircase of rock to the valley beneath, and makes a great +commotion at that place; here it is merely a purring, crooning whisper +all the time. Birds are scarce, but every now and then a handful of +minute brown things, with a delicate little unobtrusive twitter, +scatter themselves around me. A crow comes and sits as near as he +dare, to complain of my intrusion; perhaps he does not mean to +complain, but his comment upon my presence seems a perfect wail of +woe. As for the ground-dwellers—lizards, spiders, ants—they are +constant company, and the most distracting of all with their +complicated manœuvres, which are full of cultivated intelligence +when you come to look into them, There was a time when the presence +and curiosity of so many little active creatures seemed a drawback to +the otherwise perfect charm of the place, but now I do not mind them +any more than they mind me. The trouble is that I cannot mind them +less. More and more I neglect my own business to watch them at theirs, +until I have to recognise that this study would have to be given up, +even if winter were not near.</p> + +<p>Winter ... that word reminds me of other scenes. There is an entry in +my journal against June 6th, 1887:—"Five hours' heavy snow. Five +inches on the ground." And another for the same month two years +later:—"Woke up to find everything white with snow. Four inches +officially reported. Broke trees and bushes." Our distant ranges used +to wear white caps for weeks together, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[265]</a></span>and white mantles on occasion, +but oh, the joy of shovelling snow in one's own garden! It rarely +stayed long enough to be shovelled, but once in a way it did, and the +first of the occasions cited is unforgetable, because it was the +first.</p> + +<p>All the year round we sleep with windows open; here the upper sash was +pulled down level with the lower, and stayed so night and day; and +that window was at the foot of the bed. In wakeful hours I could watch +the stars shining through the branches of the trees, and trace the +shadow-patterns of the moon when it was her night out. Accustomed to +rise early, I rarely fail to note the first glimmer of the dawn, and +the first shaft of sunlight was levelled straight at my eyes, as by a +marksman ambushed behind the looking-glass. As the sun rose I used to +lie with eyes half shut to see the dazzle of rainbow colours that then +filled them—as likewise to see, involuntarily, how the room was swept +and dusted. There was a beautiful rosy-blossomed tree framed by that +open square—I forget its right name, the "Tree of Heaven" was that +given it by the vulgar tongue (I think it belongs to Queensland)—and +it was my almanac the year round. Every morning a little bud grew +bigger, a frond uncurled a little more; as the days passed the foliage +spread and thickened, the leaves yellowed, browned, and fluttered +away. And then the rain would drive in and make a mess on the +dressing-table. Or a wind blew down upon the bed, causing regrets for +the eider-down imprudently discarded overnight when we were full of +the warmth of the drawing-room fire. Or—wonderful and soul-stirring +experience—snow.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[266]</a></span>On that morning of June 6th, 1887, I felt the peculiar snow-cold, +without knowing what it was, when I got out of bed to take in my early +cup of tea. I had finished it, and was enjoying a few peaceful minutes +before going to the bathroom, gazing upon the bare tree-twigs and +their background of leaden sky, when suddenly I perceived the picture +speckled with fine white particles, and understood that it was +snowing. In the twinkling of an eye I was into dressing-gown and +slippers, calling up the house to look at the sight. The governess was +an Englishwoman, who had not seen snow since leaving her Kentish +village, and never expected to see it in Australia. I went to her room +first, colliding with a maid who was rushing thither on the same +errand; then to the nursery, where I found three little night-gowned +figures already at the window, flattening three little noses against +the glass. The children were chattering and shouting with delight. The +fine white particles had become substantial flakes by this time, and +were dusting the roofs and bushes to an extent that promised snowballs +presently; and the two small boys were wild at the prospect of fights +in the street on their way to school. Australian boys of British +parentage take as naturally to snowballing as to plum-pudding; you +would think, to see them at it, that it was their regular winter +amusement. The bath tap flowed unheeded, until the water overflowed on +to the floor; the fowls invaded the sacred precincts of a +beautifully-kept kitchen, and walked about there unmolested; the cat +got on the table and drank the milk. It was washing-day, but no one +thought of that. The <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[267]</a></span>snowstorm was the one absorbing interest to +everybody, except the father of the family, who likes his bed and is +not in the habit of exciting himself.</p> + +<p>When the postman came it had been snowing—good solid snow—for more +than an hour, and as he tramped up the twelve white steps to the front +door his feet sank an inch and a half into the soft carpet that +covered them. Shrubs and trees, creepers and bushes were thick with +snow. Masses of the delicate foliage of the marguerite daisy and some +young pepper trees sent us into raptures with their beauty, for there +was no wind to shake them. So did some old fences smothered in green +creepers, the long sprays and trails of which were as neatly covered +as with hoar-frost. Each arching blade of pampas-grass bore heaped-up +ridges of snow, and the feathery heads looked as if they had been +dipped into cake-icing, as if nothing that was not sticky could have +adhered so thickly to such unsubstantial things. Every laurel leaf +held a sausage-roll of snow. The corrugated iron roofs were dazzlingly +white and smooth—two or three inches of snow in every groove. The +back-yard and orchard were a white plain, the latter diversified with +weeds and suckers that never looked so beautiful before, the naked +fruit-trees being loaded with the white powder on every branch and +twig. Beyond the outer fence on one side there was a mass of furze +bushes, covering a piece of waste land; all this was white, too, +stretching away to the grey sky.</p> + +<p>It was amusing to see the consternation of the fowls when they were +let out. They had never seen snow before, and did not know what to +make of it. They tried to walk through it, and they tried to eat <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[268]</a></span>it; +they flew from point to point and back again, craning their necks from +side to side, in search of the earth that had disappeared. They took +refuge in the kitchen under dressers and tables, and, when driven +thence, under the fowl-house walls, where they stood all day, each on +a single leg, with feathers puffed up, the picture of patient misery. +The cat had left her kittens in an outhouse before the snow began, and +afterwards proposed to return to them. She daintily sounded the snow +with her fore-paw, mewed piteously, and in the end went back to the +kitchen and left the kittens to their fate. But she was, for a dumb +animal, a singularly bad mother. The first time she had kittens she +overlaid and suffocated them, and the second batch she carried from a +warm bed in the middle of the night, and in a tempest of rain, while +they were yet blind and helpless, and deposited them beside an +overflowing water-tank, so that when they were found they were so +drowned and chilled that it took a whole day's nursing to bring them +round.</p> + +<p>This was the state of things at half-past eight. It snowed, without +stopping for a minute, until twelve, when the drift was six inches in +some places, and in others a foot. All the heads of pampas-grass were +broken off, borne down with the weight; and stout myrtle and box +bushes, which had taken the snow solidly, were trailing to the ground +with their stems splitting. We had one tree-fern that rose from the +centre of a rockery, and spread itself over it like a handsome +umbrella. It stood in front of the dining-room windows, and was an +object of constant interest to the family, which always knew when it +started a new frond and how it was getting on generally. At twelve +o'clock <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[269]</a></span>ferntree and rockery were one smooth white mound—the snow +covered the whole thing completely; not so much as a green tip the +size of a pin's head stuck out anywhere. Even the native gums had +managed to catch and accumulate the soft flakes, so that they looked +as if full of white blossoms; wattles were bent and loaded like the +pepper-trees, while the great pines would not have disgraced a +Canadian winter forest. Such a sight had not been seen in that town +since it was planted in the mountains in the old gold days. We +neglected all our work to gaze upon it. And then a little wind began +to blow through the white stillness, and there were signs that the +snow was going to turn to rain. Huge masses fell from roof eaves and +boughs, falling with a soft but heavy thud upon the garden beds and +paths, which had been so smooth and spotless. "Pure as untrodden +snow"—that is a good phrase. How dazzlingly pure it is! I know it is +silly to say these things to an English reader, but let him be an +exile for seventeen years, as I had been, and see how a snow-storm +will strike him then. It brought to my home-sick heart memories of the +old days of youth, before one realised that there was such a place as +Australia in the world; visions of flat fen marshes, all black, white, +and grey, like a photograph—of frozen meres fringed with pollard +willows, and dry reed-beds rattling in the wind—of old snowballings, +old skatings, old walks with old sweethearts on the ringing roads, old +talks by the winter firesides ... things unspeakable.</p> + +<p>By half-past twelve the rain had come, the snow was going. It was +already slushy about the doors, semi-transparent under eaves and +branches. More and bigger lumps of it slid and fell, revealing the +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[270]</a></span>broken limbs of the trees that had seemed so strong, but were not +strong enough for the weight they had had to bear. The boys had come +home with rosy faces and exulting mien, their collars limp as rags, +their boots and stockings saturated, their coats plastered with +melting snow. They had had as good a snowballing as England could have +given them—one they will not forget as long as they live.</p> + +<p>But the common winter day up there was, in fine weather, a thing +beyond words. The nipping and eager temperature, the iced pools and +frosted grass in the shadows, the dazzling sun in the open, the +diamond glitter and transparency of the air through which one viewed +the sapphire-blue ranges miles away, the ringing granite roads, that +knew neither mud nor dust, the exhilaration, the invigoration, the +pure joy of life....</p> + +<p>And I left this sweet place hard-heartedly, without a pang. So did G. +His dignity of Rural Dean was laid aside with no more regret than I +felt for the old frocks that I gave away because they were not worth +packing. We were Bush folks no more. He was going to be "town clergy," +and no unimportant member of that much-envied band; and I was going to +live with books and other stirring things—the "larger life," which +somehow never proves quite deserving of its name. And we were going +nearer to England than we had yet been. The day after I knew "all +satisfactorily settled," I began sorting, clearing up, dismantling—a +job I love only a few degrees less than the rebuilding of a new home +out of chaos. "The nuisance of moving!" is a lamentation one hears +often from those who have to do it; nobody ever heard it from me. It +puzzles me how any housewife, interested in having her things nice, +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[271]</a></span>can fail to enjoy such an opportunity for putting new ideas in +practice. I have thoroughly enjoyed it eight times, and should like +nothing better than to move again to-morrow, provided it were to the +right place—the place that I am so long getting to that I almost +despair of seeing it again.</p> + +<p>We were moving now too far to take all the furniture with us; in bulk +it was not valuable enough to be worth the heavy railway charges. So I +packed the special treasures and all else that I could, and, leaving +G. to struggle with the sale and the final farewells, preceded him to +Melbourne, that I might lay the foundations of the new home before he +came to it.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XIX" id="CHAPTER_XIX"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[272]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XIX<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>THE EIGHTH HOME</h4> +<br /> + +<p>The eighth home was quite an imposing house—for us—too much so for +my taste and the resources of the moment, insomuch that I had to leave +the furnishing of the drawing-room to a future day; but what an +interesting time I had, with my paper-hangers and people! In a few +days I had the walls—raw plaster and grubby at that—decorated and +dry, and the floor-staining done, and the elementary necessaries of +family life collected; so that when I, and the little daughter who had +been with me, met our male belongings at Spencer Street Station on the +30th of October, we went home together for good and all. G. took over +his parish on the 1st of November, and we were then settled down, +although the delights of "fixing up" went on for weeks—I may say for +years—if it has not continued even to this day. A week or two after +the induction ceremonies the parish made a splendid evening party for +us in the largest public room of the town. A great horse-shoe of +flowers with "WELCOME" on it—the iron frame is still preserved in the +gas cupboard—was presented with charming compliments: members of +Parliament and mayors and other distinguished persons flattered us in +cordial speeches from the platform; professional singers—Ada +Crossley <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[273]</a></span>amongst them—rendered a choice programme. It was a proud +occasion, a happy beginning of the new life—the first rush of the +champagne out of the freshly-opened bottle—sweet to remember, but sad +also, because, like all such sanguine moments, it both gave and asked +too much.</p> + +<p>And now here I was living by the sea at last—the desire of my heart +from childhood. There is a family tradition that when, as a mere +infant on its mother's lap, I saw the sea for the first time—at +Hunstanton it was—I was so overcome with sentimental emotion that I +burst into tears. I can quite believe it. I do not remember ever to +have seen it, after absence, without feeling more or less that way, +whether I expressed the feeling or not. "Hunst'on" in those times was +only the old village of the L'Estranges; where the watering-place +proper was afterwards established there stood but a lonely inn on the +cliff—the New Inn, it was called, though it looked far from +new—where brides and bridegrooms went to get out of the world. We +used to have lodgings at the Coastguards' (parents and children, nurse +and governess, distributed amongst them at sleeping-time, with a +common rendezvous for meals), or at "Willoughby's," within a cobbled +courtyard with gates that shut at night, or at the Post Office, which +sold the wooden spades and pails that were always our first purchase, +or—when we could get it—a whole house of our own, bespoken for the +season from the year before. The same families, more or less, occupied +the limited accommodation of the place summer after summer, and it was +necessary to be beforehand to secure a footing. There was one year +when we were absolutely crowded out—a black year indeed! I see myself +now, face downwards in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[274]</a></span>the orchard grass, broken-hearted by the +calamity. In those days we made the journey from Lynn on a stage +coach—the last one left in England, I should imagine—and the red +mass of Rising Castle was the memorably romantic feature of that +drive, next to the first opening to view at the end of it of the +ever-wonderful and mystic sea. We used to arrive late in the afternoon +and first open one of the enormous hampers and feed like a pack of +cormorants: then we little girls were fitted out in our +sea-clothes—all made on purpose, from the cotton hoods to the +raw-leather shoes—and the boys put on their fishermen's guernseys, +and down we went to revel in sand and rocks and sea-water until the +latest possible bed-time. Old Sam Dunn, the only waterman and one of +my dearest early friends, would already have been up to our lodgings +to welcome us, to take over the boys as partners for the summer in his +boat and enterprises, and to bring his votive offering of cornelian +stones and bits of jet and things to his "little missy." What days! +What days! When my own children were small I went to no end of trouble +and expense to give them the bliss that had made life so heavenly to +me at their age. I took them to the seaside; I bought them wooden +spades and pails; I would have got them a donkey (like Callaby's) if +there had been such a thing procurable. In vain. It was like trying to +teach them to understand Christmas. The sea is not in the blood of +Australian children as it was in ours.</p> + +<p>During all my inland life at home and twenty-three years in the +Australian bush, however happy I may have been, there was always that +one thing wanting—the near neighbourhood, the salt breath of the sea. +I used, when in the Western District, to <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[275]</a></span>spend hours sitting amongst +she-oak trees in a wind, because, with the eyes shut, one could +believe that there one listened to its very voice. Twice, when ill in +bed, I found the craving overmastering. "I know that, if I could get +to the sea, I should get well," I cried at a time when I was unable to +take myself thither and G. said he was too busy to take me. "Not for +one day?" I implored. "What's the use of wearing yourself out with +those two long journeys, and spending five or six pounds, for one +day?" he asked. It did seem unreasonable, but I begged and bribed him +to give me my wish. We left B—— one afternoon, reaching Melbourne +late at night; next morning took boat for Sorrento and the open +Pacific; saturated ourselves with sea-essences until night again, and +returned home next day. The result was so miraculous that, under the +same circumstances, we repeated the experiment three months later: +only then we took four days instead of one. I do now go back to the +hills for strength, as I said in the last chapter, but quite as often +exchange the sea for more sea.</p> + +<p>For where I live I am still forty or fifty miles from the shore +whereon the ocean rollers break. To be sure I can hear the sound of +waves on our Back Beach—one may occasionally be knocked over by them +in the Baths—but, looking across the water that runs sheer to the +sky, I am conscious of the engirdling land that I cannot see; it is +not the great deep that the great storms play with. Even upon this the +house turns its back; my windows command only Hobson's Bay—just a +pond with city round it—the mouth of the river piercing the ring to +my left, the mouth of escape to the sea and the world on my right, +round the breakwater pier and sea-wall that <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[276]</a></span>the convicts built. Well, +I am satisfied with that. I have a moving panorama before my eyes that +they never tire of dwelling on. I had amongst my wedding presents a +pair of good field-glasses that lay stowed away and forgotten in +drawer or cupboard until I came here; now they hang by my writing +window, and the case is worn out with the daily handling they get. +Every ship that comes in view passes me by, the multifarious craft +going to or from the river wharves, the great liners that tie up at +Port Melbourne opposite—these last the objects that fascinate me +most. A kind superintendent of the P. and O. Melbourne office sent me, +when I first arrived, a packet containing a separate letter of +introduction to every purser of every ship of theirs visiting the +port, instructing each gentleman to give me "all possible facilities" +to "fully inspect" his vessel. It was my favourite recreation for a +long time to rummage through these floating hotels, and pretend to +myself that I was a potential traveller in them; and then I came home +to watch them steam away without me, as I have watched them week by +week ever since. It is a melancholy pleasure that never palls. But I +have four of those letters to P. and O. pursers unexpended still.</p> + +<p>Close about me lie piers, ships, boat-slips, collections of anchors, +buoys, boilers, the old bones of dead vessels once so bravely +alive—more alive, as I think, than anything else that hand of man has +made; everything that meets the eye suggests the sea in some form. +"The fishing village" is a newspaper term for the place, and when I +was coming to live in it every other letter that I received condoled +with me on my being obliged to do so. It is not a village; it is not +more fishy than other <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[277]</a></span>towns along the shore; and I have never pitied +myself for belonging to it. The fact that it is not a watering-place, +with an esplanade and summer boarders, pleases me. It could easily +have rivalled the "residential suburbs" across the way, which are +cooled by the sea-breezes on one side only and not on three; but far +be it from me to put such an idea into its head. Let it jog along in +its unfashionable, unenterprising, unbusiness-like way while I am of +it, and begin its hustling—as it will do sooner or later, if the +powers that be allow our limbs to move again—when I am gone. It is a +treat to find something that does not know how to advertise itself, +nor want to know.</p> + +<p>In this humdrum place, that is so cool and quiet, and to me so +congenial, there is but one interesting walk. That is to say, but one +that I consider worth giving an afternoon to. G. says he gets tired of +it; I do not; and I am sure that Bob, the fox terrier, spends the week +looking forward to it. The three of us ramble off together on +Saturdays after lunch, weather and other circumstances permitting, and +our faces turn the one way automatically.</p> + +<p>We go "along the front"—<i>i.e.</i>, the one-sided street that fronts +Hobson's Bay—until the little marine stores and cook-shops and +sailors' pubs lose themselves in a wilderness of docks and railway +yards and buildings, lonely and grass-grown since the river and the +port opposite took so much of our shipping from us, though there was a +partial return to some of the activities of former days while the war +was going on. Seldom a Saturday then that we did not find ourselves +blocked by rows of trucks shunting back and forth across our short +cuts, carrying hay or horses to the steamers whose clacking windlasses +we heard from the neighbouring piers.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[278]</a></span>First we come to the yard within which lies the Graving Dock—once so +wonderful, now so inadequate, but seldom empty and always interesting, +no matter how insignificant the vessel on the chocks. Those +weather-worn tramps that fight the unseen Powers at a disadvantage in +everything, except courage and seamanship, are the ones I like to look +at best. Sometimes we are asked on board, and a rough old salt, hero +of untold brave deeds, shows us round and gives us tea, and feels +himself honoured by the visit of persons not worthy to brush his +shoes. These casual entertainments are my delight. Sometimes the +captain's wife is <i>cicerone</i> and hostess. There was a whole family in +one case, including a melancholy and discontented girl, who had a +piano to practise on, and whose sad lot I was not too sea-crazy to +understand. I sent her a bundle of old novels to vary the monotony, +which was perhaps a cruel kindness.</p> + +<p>Now and then tragedy comes upon the scene. A wreck is dragged in to be +operated on. Some poor ship that has had a fire at sea, or her nose +smashed or her side ripped open in a collision, or who has drifted for +weeks with her propeller gone, lies naked before us with her wounds +exposed; and then I stand and gaze and imagine things until G. gets +cross because I cannot drag myself away. When the <i>Ormuz</i> had that +accident in the Rip she so tightly filled the dock that her skeleton +bow was almost within my touch. No more do I wonder at what ships can +go through, having seen how that giant frame was put together. I went +down to the bottom of the dock and held up the great hull in the palms +of my hands. It was a strange sensation.</p> + +<p>From the dock we pass by devious ways from <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[279]</a></span>yard to yard and pier to +pier, descending and climbing, turning narrow corners, poking +walking-stick or umbrella into the tufts of coarse grass and +scrap-heaps of rusted iron or sea-rotted timber where Bob has his +exciting hunts for the rats he smells but never catches. "No +admittance except on business" is a legend with no meaning for us. If +it rains, or the sun is over-hot, we retire to a dark and spacious +shed where rows of gas buoys await their turn to shine beneficent in +the stormy nights. Impressive creatures they are when viewed so near. +Now and again we are shown torpedoes and compressed-air engines and +such things, but as a rule we are not sight-seeing in a business way +and do not desire company.</p> + +<p>So we drift to the outermost pier of all—the Breakwater, half of +which is stone rampart between Hobson's Bay and Port Phillip Bay, +which stands to us for open sea. We sit as long as Bob's patience +holds out on the bulkhead at the extreme end, and watch the ships go +past us—so near sometimes that we could toss a biscuit on to a deck. +They are intercolonial steamers that have started from a Melbourne +wharf or are bound thither; the great liners, of which few are visible +at this end of the week, take a more distant track. In the yachting +season the blue water is sprinkled with white sails; we follow the +manœuvres of the boats we know, and wait to see the winner come +home, if she is not too long about it. Several times I have been +aboard one of those racing cutters in a "sailing wind," and—I refrain +from rhapsodising on the subject.</p> + +<p>If the afternoon is still young we stroll on around the point, along +that sea-wall which was built by convict labour—significant words, +recalling days we <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[280]</a></span>do not care to think of. The wall is broken down in +places, and stays so; this is the "old part" as the old times left +it—some day to be repaired and used, but gently going to pieces in +the meantime. All around us here we feel the spirit of those old +times, so stern and sad. Close by is the spot where Commandant Price +was murdered. It was before my time, but I have heard the tale of his +life and death from friends and relatives, co-officials and +eye-witnesses, authorities whom the author of <i>His Natural Life</i> never +had opportunity to consult. They say—of course I can only take their +word—that he was a brave and just, if undoubtedly hard, man, and that +Frere in <i>His Natural Life</i>, supposed to be a portrait of him, is a +cruel caricature. One of his official colleagues, who was also one of +the kindest and most high-minded of men, solemnly assured me that what +he did was "what he had to do" and represented to him his duty.</p> + +<p>And just here, until a short time ago, lay the strangest little +graveyard that I ever knew. Its enclosing walls had fallen into +rubbish-heaps amongst the grass, which looked too thick and rank to +safely walk in except when summer heats had dried it up; then we would +prowl gingerly amid the forgotten graves—forty years old and +upwards—and read the touching legends on the dilapidated headstones, +which showed, amongst other things, that John Price was not the only +one done to death "in the execution of his duty." Here lay a whole +little world of people as utterly of the past as if they had lived +centuries ago. Periodically someone protested in the local papers +against the disgraceful condition of this lone bit of land, and at +last the town decided to transfer its contents to the present +cemetery. In a corner of <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[281]</a></span>that pretty garden they dug one big grave to +accommodate the remains of what they calculated would be between two +and three hundred bodies. The number found was nearly a thousand. I +saw them stacked in little boxes, like a grocer's stock of tea or +candles, half in the new grave, half piled on the brink. Several +pathetic secrets that Mother Earth might well have kept to herself +were dragged to light, and I am sure it must have been impossible to +avoid mixing the fragments up. The new grave now looks very neat, +slabbed all over; and the old burial-ground is ready to build on +whenever good times arrive. But when we walk past the spot we miss +something. We feel that we liked it best as it was.</p> + +<p>Usually we do not go beyond this point. We scramble out to the +furthest tenable boulder, and sit with our faces to the water, and +watch the practice of the big gun of the fort close by, firing at a +buoyed flag; and tease crabs, and lay plans for going Home some day, +until it is time to return. But we can go on along the shore until we +all but complete the circuit of the town, which is really a good walk +for cold weather.</p> + +<p>The sea makes in a sense the foreground of any picture I can draw of +my eight to nine years of Melbourne life, but there was more than the +sea to render the change to Melbourne instantly beneficial to us. That +was a luxury, an adornment, of our new life; a solid advantage to me +personally, since its air and influence improved my health, but not +otherwise to be so designated. The first substantial profit that we +reaped was in our nearness to the best schools.</p> + +<p>It is for his children that the poor Bush parson feels his isolation, +more than for himself. In Victoria he is never placed where he cannot +give them an <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[282]</a></span>education of a kind—at the private schools of his +township or the State School in the last resort—but the cost of the +better one that he must desire for them, to fit them for professions +and a good place in the world, is mostly beyond his means. The custom +of the great schools is to charge half fees to clergymen—I do not +know why, any more than I can see the justice of the doctors charging +them no fees at all, as the majority of them will not, unless you +force them to it—but even upon those easy terms I know from +experience that you cannot keep a son at a public school, giving him +all the advantages of it, for much under £100 a year. Lay mothers have +told me that in their case £150 was not too much to set aside for the +purpose to cover all expenses. The Public School means possible +scholarships, not only for the school years but for the University +afterwards; and it is hard to have a bright boy and see him blocked at +the outset from this shining path along which alone he can directly +attain distinction. I know one poor country clergyman who, with his +wife and daughters, lived servantless and on next to nothing to give +the only son his chance. Half their little income must have gone to +pay for it, and the boy was still a poor boy at school, in dress, +pursuits, pocket-money, friends, at a disadvantage amongst his +fellows. It is pleasant to record that he proved superior to these +petty circumstances and worthy of the sacrifices that were made for +him. But he is only a bank clerk now, because, not having a home near +the University, it was impossible for him to go there. Another +clergyman's son of my acquaintance, who had this convenient base, did +his course as an "out-patient," while earning his fees at other work. +He is now a "don" himself.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[283]</a></span>So, with sons of our own, we soon had occasion to congratulate +ourselves—in the case of one, at anyrate. The boy who had been +pursuing a costly education more than two hundred miles from home was +now within easy reach of it; I could visit him by water for +half-a-crown. And of course I did so the very first thing, fetching +him back with me to make the house-warming complete. It was then +represented to him that the greater part of the expenses incurred on +his behalf might be saved by the simple expedient of transferring +himself from the "Geelong Grammar" to the sister, if rival, "Melbourne +Grammar," which he could attend as a day boy. His answer was—for he +had been over four years at Geelong, and his boat had been Head of the +River most of the time, and it was his school—"I would sooner kill +myself." We quite understood. It was perceived that in his case +economy might be practised at too great a cost, and we refrained from +further argument. The younger brother jumped at the privilege thus +scorned, and turned it to such account that in the following month we +were relieved of all pecuniary liability in respect of his education +for three years to come. In the result there were certain little +embarrassments which took time to wear off. States of tension occurred +in the vacations, and an occasional approach to civil war, all on +account of the merits and demerits of the respective corporations to +which they belonged, and I narrowly escaped witnessing a Public +School's Boat Race in which I must inevitably have seen a son +defeated. I used to wear at these functions, at one time, a +breast-knot of light-blue and dark-blue ribbons, mixed in exactly +equal proportions.</p> + +<p>I think the Boat Races and Speech Days have <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[284]</a></span>furnished the keenest +joys of my Melbourne life. At B—— there was racking suspense before +the postmaster's son came tumbling down the garden steps to the +dining-room window, waving the telegram and shouting—in defiance of +the regulations—"He's won!" And now, without the wicked waste of +money that I had once been guilty of to obtain the privilege, I could +follow the race on the umpire's boat, and drop proud hints to other +mothers that it was my son who—etc. As for the Speech Days, modesty +forbids me to say more than that I would not have missed them for the +world. But apart from these strictly personal enjoyments, many and +many, long unknown, now came to me.</p> + +<p>"Mullens," to start with—everyone who knows Melbourne at all knows +that delightful haunt of the book-lover—and all the new books I could +want, and more; and never the lack of a new magazine to entice me to +bed early. Any night of the week—the day's work done, even to the +last toilet, and a reading-lamp shining softly down upon the page +before me—I can realise my idea of luxury. Old books too—the +Literatures of the Past and of the World (of which I had scarcely +heard in youth before I was cut off from access to them)—these I +could batten on, and at no cost at all. The great Free Library—the +greatest, to my mind, of all Melbourne's civic institutions—was but +an hour's distance from me. It is rather the resort of the street +loafer, looking for a place to rest and doze in, than of the +student—other than press hacks and such like, who go there with the +business note-book and pencil; one never sees—at least, I have never +seen—any of those gentlefolk who throng Mullens's daily; it seems to +lie off the track somehow. I, like <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[285]</a></span>the rest, forget to go often when +I might go, but when I do think of it I am amazed at my neglect. A +lending library is included in the many privileges conferred upon +those who pay nothing, and there come from it into the family circle +weighty as well as up-to-date works not otherwise in library +circulation, and beyond the resources of the family purse and the +family bookshelves. For one reason why we do not buy books much more +largely than we do, is the want of settled homes for them. To a people +so wandering and restless, books in quantities become physically +burdensome; they take up too much room in a temporary house, and are +too costly as travelling furniture. By the way, I have not found that +rich people, with whom these considerations need not count, care to +accumulate them.</p> + +<p>Gathered under the same roof as this treasure of books are fine, +although relatively less fine, collections of objects representing the +arts of the world; and the picture galleries, with their medley of +good and bad, can charm a loafing hour at any time. Pictures, however, +unlike books, are amongst the things that are still too scarce. In +girlhood I used to haunt their homes in London, when periodically +visiting a spinster aunt who allowed me no more frivolous +entertainment; and it is the memory of those old feasts that keeps me +dissatisfied with the crumbs that have been cast up here. But the +crumbs are adequate to the general demand for them. Art, like Letters, +is still an exotic in the land. In the furnishing of ninety-nine out +of every hundred of the fine mansions that surround the capital, +pictures—real pictures—have, I have been told by those who know, +been the last thing thought of. Yet I have seen two private +collections—one loaned to an <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[286]</a></span>exhibition and one in the house it +belonged to—which would be hard to match for beauty and choiceness. +And there may be more.</p> + +<p>But I believe there are already guide-books to the city of Melbourne, +with all its British institutions common to every British city of any +consequence precisely catalogued. And I have lived too retired a life +as a Melbourne citizen to be qualified to enter into competition with +them. I do not know the faces of the City fathers when I see them, and +am unacquainted with much else that is common knowledge to any man in +the street. On the other hand I have strayed into some of the by-ways, +the underground tunnels, of our local civilisation, where the local +historian would feel off his beat.</p> + +<p>For some years, while in town on business or holiday from the country +(and parish), I was much with a dear friend who, while living far +above it in what we call the best society, shared my passion for +unconventional excursions into what answers here to Gissing's +Nether-World. We did not go "slumming" or anything of that sort—we +would have been the last to commit such impertinences—but we wanted +to see deeper into the workings of the mysterious problems of social +life which so much and equally concerned us. In memory of her and +those days of lofty thought and helpful companionship I keep on a +shelf apart the books she gave me—Mill, Morley, Thoreau, and the +like—that we read together under the trees of her beautiful garden or +by a secluded fireside, and which inspired us to the search for that +ideal truth which we could not admit was inaccessible. Our husbands +were both indulgent to our aberrations from the beaten path. In G.'s +case, I must confess, I traded a little upon the fact that what the +eye does <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[287]</a></span>not see the heart does not grieve for; I thought it just as +well that a parson—and one so far away—should not know everything; I +took the view that I was at large for the time being, and to that he +never made objection. Of course, I respected the altered circumstances +when we came to live in town together, and have known nothing of alien +"persuasions" and their goings on of a Sunday since.</p> + +<p>But it was just these irregular operations in the moral world that we +desired to investigate, my friend and I: our outlook over it was not +bounded by the walls of the Church of England or of our class. Drawn +as we felt ourselves to be towards our fellow-strugglers after light +and knowledge, we wanted to know what they were doing in furtherance +of the common aim. The phenomena of spiritual life, in whatever form, +attracted us; the more curious and unconvincing to us personally, the +more earnestly to be searched into and understood, if possible. The +Salvation Army was a case in point. Why was it such a power in the +land? Eclectic as we were, we could find but one theory to account for +it—which I still think a good one, <i>i.e.</i>, that men and women share +equally and intimately in the whole work from top to bottom—but this +did not cover all the ground. It did not adequately explain the number +and fervour of its non-official adherents, and their long continuance +in faith. According to appearances, it is all force and artificial +emotionalism, the "unhealthy excitement" against which I have heard so +many good clergymen earnestly warn their flocks; yet time falsifies +the prediction I remember they made from the pulpit at least eighteen +years ago, that it was a passing craze, a grotesque epidemic, that +would quickly die.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[288]</a></span>My friend and I—our minds burdened with, our thoughts and +conversation full of, the (to us) injustices of human arrangements, +and our responsibilities towards the (to us) enslaved and +wronged—wondered how much real amelioration of the lot of the more +miserable was wrought by this particular agency. We knew that, as we +sat, like Buddha in his palace, within our social shelters, we could +know little about it; we resolved to go outside and see. It was Sunday +morning, and we said we would go to a Salvation Army meeting, at the +Head-Quarter Barracks, that night. My friend's husband, who would have +liked to keep her (she was so precious) in a glass case, yet could not +bear to balk her wish if it was anywhere within the bounds of reason, +asked leave to take us into the city and to the door of the +tabernacle, and to wait for us until we came out; but we agreed that +that would spoil it all. For what we wanted to feel was that we were +one with our poorer fellow-wayfarers on this pilgrimage of life, afoot +and equal, not carrying any of our unfair privileges into their +rougher line of march. Her correct English maid, who must have had her +thoughts, though she did not express them, produced a plain waterproof +and a gossamer veil, in which my companion could hide her native +elegance from a curiosity that we did not wish to court—I easily made +myself inconspicuous—and we set forth, escorted only as far as the +railway station of our exclusive suburb.</p> + +<p>When we got into the Sunday-night city streets we were a happy pair. +Manners in Australia do not deteriorate as the social scale descends; +we were jostled on the crowded pavements, but not rudely; in fact, the +sensation was grateful to us. We were <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[289]</a></span>literally in touch with our +kind, free of artificial restrictions, and "seeing life" as we had +desired to see it. The crowds were later, however; going in we were +before them, thinking it wise to be early since we had to find our +way. The large building was filling fast when we arrived, but we +secured what we thought safe seats—near the door, and with a pillar +or something buttressing our backs—and from this point studied the +scene and the proceedings with rapt attention. I should think no +Salvation Army meeting ever included two persons at once so devout and +so hopelessly impervious. But, though impervious, we were deeply +impressed. The only thing that offended us—unless I except a hectic +and hysterical preaching girl, whose health we saw being destroyed +before our eyes—was the conduct of a group of lads who had evidently +come for the fun of the thing. They sat just within the door, and +ought to have been put outside it; yet their ill manners were +compensated for by the patient courtesy of the officer who from time +to time came to expostulate with them. For myself, I could willingly +have boxed their ears. I remembered this incident when afterwards I +had a Salvation Army servant and it was reported to me that my own +mischievous boys had gone to the little conventicle of her sect to +hear her preach. She was a quiet-mannered, sedate sort of person, and +never gave us Salvation Army in the house, except in the form of a +modest brooch; but on Saturday evenings—the Australian servants' free +time—she stole off in her hallelujah bonnet, and, I was told, carried +a torch or a banner in the procession that patrolled the town, and +sang and prayed with the best of them. We never minded these little +things, holding the view <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[290]</a></span>that a good servant was a good servant, and +that her religion was her own business. One of the best we ever had +was a Roman Catholic of the strictest type. I believe that girl never +omitted an observance required of such an one; yet she never allowed +us to be inconvenienced on that account. She would do her washing, or +whatever it was, in the middle of the night to go to a morning +service; on Sundays she would come out from her devotions at her +church, which was not a stone's throw from ours, to put on the +potatoes, and trot back again. Between our kitchen and that of the +Presbytery the most neighbourly relations existed during her reign. +They borrowed of each other without any false pride, and many a time, +at my secret instigation, B. went over to assist when the priest was +having company, sometimes carrying extra silver and such like from my +store. I was always desperately afraid of his hearing of these +liberties that a black heretic was taking with him—and he a dean, if +you please; mentally putting myself in his place, I knew how I should +feel, and I was always exhorting B., who was garrulous, to guard +against this risk.—One Christmas I heard that he was to have a party +of priests to dinner, and that his cook was quite incapable of rising +to such an occasion. "I'd like to send over one of our puddings," said +I, "only that I'd be so afraid he might ask who made it"—for our +puddings, I may modestly state, were good. B. jumped at the tentative +offer, and the pudding, with a few etceteras from the same source, +duly graced the dean's table. Our Christmas feast took place in the +middle of the day, his in the evening, so she could attend to both. +When she returned at night from the second function she was radiant. +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[291]</a></span>The table, she said, was something beautiful, and they ate up all the +pudding, and praised it to the skies. "I do hope to goodness you never +breathed a word," said I, "and that that cook will keep the secret." +Alas! it transpired that B. herself had been unable to keep it. "But," +said she, "you needn't worry yourself at all, for he was quite pleased +about it, and says he is coming himself to thank you for your +kindness."</p> + +<p>That was a good old man, and the most liberal-minded ecclesiastic of +his faith that I ever came across. B. being so strict a daughter of +her Church, and living in a place where its influence was strong—for +the matter of that, it is strong everywhere in Australia—she used to +have qualms of conscience now and again, after the nuns had been +talking to her, as to the lawfulness of dwelling under a Protestant +roof. She went to the dean for advice, and he gave it promptly. "Don't +you be a little fool"—his very words, she told me. "You get more +Catholic privileges where you are than you'd get in many a Catholic +house. You stay where you are well off." Under these circumstances she +was delighted to stay. But some time afterwards, when under more rigid +discipline, she was inveigled from us—the only one of our good +servants who went, even to that extent from choice, except to be +married. But she still maintains intimate relations with the family, +and brings each little Pat and Biddy to show us as soon as it is old +enough to take the air.</p> + +<p>But to return to the Salvation Army. Personally, as I have said, we +were cold to its appeals, but seldom had our hearts been so warmed by +the reflected feeling around us. It was perfectly apparent to us that +we were in contact with things as sincere <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[292]</a></span>and real as they could be. +Even the hectic girl preacher, who almost frothed at the mouth, was in +earnest, whatever the old hands amongst her colleagues, who sat about +her and watched her, might have been. The music—their best—with its +swing and precision, was splendid, incalculably effective as a +stimulant; I could have thrilled to that if I had not heard so much of +the excruciating performances of the humbler rank and file. But it was +the congregation which so impressed us. Going to church all my +life—much against the grain sometimes, I must confess—I had never +seen anything like it; so many men in proportion to women, such +intensity of religious feeling as distinct from superficial ardour and +rant. The service was very long, and we grew anxious as the hours +passed, knowing how our husband and host would worry about us if we +missed the train he had fixed on for our return, and we had carefully +left our watches at home. So I leaned towards my next neighbour on the +left, a respectable and very quiet and silent young working-man—just +as I would have done in any other church—and whispered to him, "Would +you kindly tell me the time?" As soon as the words were out of my +mouth I was smitten with compunction, and felt more ashamed of myself +than I had ever done in my life. Wild prayers were going on, and the +young man was on his knees, and his uplifted face wore a stern +solemnity that showed him miles and miles above all such +considerations as the time of day. At first he took no notice, as if +he had not heard me; then he slowly climbed down and down from his +heights and looked at me with a blank, dazed stare; and his eyes were +full of tears. I shall never forget him, and all that he taught me in +that moment. We <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">[293]</a></span>went home thoughtful, humbled in our intellectual +conceit, deeply touched and moved; certainly all the better for our +excursion into this by-path of national life, although we never felt +drawn to go into it again.</p> + +<p>On another Sunday evening we attended some sort of Free Thought +service in one of the theatres. Here the "minister," if not a +charlatan, was something of a fraud—to us, at anyrate, who had made a +deeper study of the questions dealt with than he had. But in this case +again the congregation, which filled the building, was the instructive +and surprising feature. Not only perfectly respectable and orderly, +but grave and attentive, and the majority well-dressed middle-class +people, husbands and wives together, dropping into their seats with +the air of habitual attendants. The proverbial pin might have been +heard while the pseudo-teacher poured forth words and phrases that had +no intelligible meaning in them; every eye was fixed on him, every ear +listening. We were much exercised in mind over the results of this +experiment. The size, seriousness, and social quality of the +congregation were our chief concern. Evidently seekers after light and +knowledge, like the rest of us—no mere heathen idlers wilfully or +carelessly breaking the Sabbath day. "And," sighed we, "getting only +this rubbish for their pains!"</p> + +<p>Then there was a place called, I think, the Progressive Lyceum—a +small body this, but, once in it, you found it a little world to +itself. I went there one Sunday, and again felt how little the +classified majority of us knew what the mixed minority was about. I +was with two other inquiring friends this time, and we were invited to +stay to a <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">[294]</a></span>sort of little conference that was to conclude the morning +exercises. Well, before we knew it, we were joining in the +discussion—carried on without a trace of theological rancour—with +half-a-dozen or so of the leading members sitting in a group in a +corner of the otherwise emptied room, all as friendly as could be. +Other little worlds within worlds, colonies within the colony, I have +wandered into from time to time, never without gaining fresh +conviction of the interestingness of my fellow-creatures and of their +inherent goodness—more trust in and respect for that poor human +nature which, fumbling along its confused and crooked paths, yet ever +seems to be aiming at the true goal. More than that—as one can see by +taking the general bearings at intervals—it is getting there by +degrees.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<a name="CHAPTER_XX" id="CHAPTER_XX"></a><hr /> +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">[295]</a></span><br /> + +<h3>CHAPTER XX<span class="totoc"><a href="#toc">ToC</a></span></h3> + +<h4>CONCLUSION</h4> +<br /> + +<p>The thirty years covered by this chronicle came to an end with the +nineteenth century and the history of these colonies as such.</p> + +<p>On the last day of 1900 I sat at my writing window to watch the drop +of the time-ball that regulates all the Government clocks—the clocks +which the morning papers had warned us to set our time-pieces by at 1 +<span class="fakesc">P.M.</span>, so as not to be a second out, if we could help it, when +the midnight hour should strike. I cannot describe the state of +tension we were in, the sense of fateful happenings that possessed us +that day. The New Year and the New Century were coming to all peoples, +but we could not think of them save as satellites of our New +Commonwealth, arranged for the purpose of fitly inaugurating the New +Nation. Australia believed herself on the threshold of the Golden Age. +I myself openly boasted of my happiness—reviewing my peaceful family +life, my little home circle, unbroken since 1876—when we began +wishing happy new years to one another.</p> + +<p>The same scene lies before me now. Hobson's Bay in the +foreground—never professing to be picturesque, but to me as full of +variety and charm as a good, homely human face—and the long line of +<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">[296]</a></span>city dividing it from the sky. In the sunset of a fine day—sunset +taking place behind me—that thread of crowded life is glowing +beautifully, isolated buildings, as they catch the direct gleam, +standing out as distinctly as if they were not leagues away. And after +dark it will shine a thick-set band of lights many miles in length. +And then, later, a clear moon will flood the whole. All as it was +twenty months and more ago, when our hearts were so confident and our +hopes so high.</p> + +<p>But Fate has dealt with our hearts and hopes in the usual way. The +closing of this book synchronises with the ending of one of those +lives integrally a part of mine—that of my eldest son, in the prime +of his fine young manhood—which for me has altered the whole face of +the world and of the future, but yesterday so smiling for us both. I +took no account of the Ambushed Enemy when I said on that New Year's +night that I was happy.</p> + +<p>And as for the country that went mad with joy on the same occasion, +how does it feel now? Where is the enthusiasm for Federation which +then turned every head?</p> + +<p>Federation, so far as we can see, has put back the Golden Age. The +triumphant shout, "Advance, Australia!" has become a mockery in our +ears. "Australia for the Australians!"—that ignoble aspiration, which +even then meant "Australia for the Australians now in it"—less than +two to the square mile—now means that Australia is not even for them. +No, for the census returns of this state for 1891 gave us 446,195 young +persons of what census people call the marrying age (15 to 35), of whom +the excess of young men over young women was 17,047; and the census for +1901 shows 419,910, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">[297]</a></span>and the excess on the other side—16,742 more +young women than young men. Where are those lost young men? And why +have they gone from one of the gardens of the world, as Victoria should +be, with its temperate climate and its consequent potential fertility? +Most of them have gone since the new century came in, and the other +states have to mourn similar losses within the same short space of +time. There have been no gains. Immigration, even of the most desirable +"White Australia" brand, is discouraged in all possible ways, in the +supposed interests of the beneficiaries in possession—reapers of the +sowings of far different men—with their "work" and "wages" which no +longer correspond to the old meanings of those words. While as for our +coloured brothers—including Britain's ally, Japan—they are not +recognised as men at all. They are vermin, to be stamped out like +rabbits.</p> + +<p>One third of Australia lies within the tropic belt, where manual +labour is incompatible with the white man's physique, and where no +industry could afford him, at the price he puts upon himself. What +matter? Let the Queensland sugar fields, and the seven millions sunk +in them, revert to the desert waste they were before. Let the pearling +industry go to foreigners, as it must go. Let the Northern Territory, +an area equal to that of France, Germany, and Austria combined, with +all its known potential wealth, lie waste and empty, while millions +upon millions of our co-inheritors of the earth swarm upon little bits +of land that do not give them room to turn round. What does it care, +this dog in the manger? It will starve itself—it is starving +itself—to keep the world out, to shut off competition with existing +interests, to nip back growth at every point. <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">[298]</a></span>Oh, that we had a +Washington to lead our young nation in more righteous paths, to nobler +ends! Had "Australia for the World" been the watchword of the +Commonwealth, we might now be making a second great United States such +as only the glorious First could rival. Instead of that a stationary +population of less than four millions, from which the best elements +are being rapidly drained away.</p> + +<p>For these four millions we have fourteen Houses of Parliament, with +over fifty ministers and little under a thousand members. They are +housed magnificently—in this State, at anyrate—regardless of +expense; they have billiard-rooms, and bowling and tennis grounds, and +every club luxury, the "keep" of the Victorian establishment alone +(the parliamentary bill for the year) running to £141,549. Each pair +of State Houses can pledge the credit of its section of the country as +it likes (what our public debt amounts to everybody knows); the +Federal Houses can pledge the credit of the whole. And what is there +to control them? "The State servants," says the <i>Argus</i>, "already +constitute almost a clear majority of the names on the electors' +rolls." Government "promises soon to become the sole employer of +labour in the community." The octopus of political rule holds the +private citizen—"pursued with regulations and prohibitions in his +uprising and his down-sitting," so that "there will soon be absolutely +no room left" for him—helpless in its grasp.</p> + +<p>And who are they that work this Juggernaut of an engine, that run this +overgrown business of state? To quote again the authority +above-mentioned, not seldom "men who, in private <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">[299]</a></span>life, would hardly +be trusted to run an apple stall."</p> + +<p>There was a <i>Times</i> correspondent with the royal party that recently +visited us, and he published his impression that "political +corruption" was amongst our little failings that he had noticed. That +was an observant man, worthy of his post. Here nobody had an idea of +such a thing, and the outcry that ensued upon the cabled report of his +report, the indignant protest of injured innocence, was almost +unanimous throughout the land. Every newspaper repudiated the foul +aspersion, and in good faith—because, as a fact, the parliamentary +candidate does not bribe and corrupt within the meaning of the act as +traditionally understood; he does not buy the individual's vote with +coin from his pocket or a pot of beer. But what he does—which +probably never strikes him as political corruption, although +recognised as that by the <i>Times</i> correspondent—is to buy <i>en bloc</i> +the party which gives him his comfortable place and perquisites—his +trade and living, in fact; and that party will be paid in full or know +the reason why. They support each other—both at the expense of the +general community. There is a printed rule of a Political Labour +League which says that "before any person can be accepted as a +candidate for the Federal or State Parliament" he shall "place in the +hands of the executive of the league an agreement that in the event of +his acting contrary to the policy of the combined Labour +Organisation," and of their consequently "passing a vote of +no-confidence in him, he will resign his seat." Furthermore, he is to +"place his resignation (undated) in the hands of the executive, +together with a document authorising the executive to fill in the date +subsequent to the day <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">[300]</a></span>on which the vote is taken." Parliament would +not be what it is if there were not plenty of men willing to subscribe +to such contracts as these—to sell their votes in the House +beforehand, in order to get there. We all know that they do so sell +them. We see the price paid when such legislation as the Minimum Wage +Act is concocted, that pitiable outrage upon the natural, the moral, +and the economic law which is visibly recoiling upon the heads of +those it was framed to benefit, killing their goose of the golden eggs +as well as ours.</p> + +<p>It was to the Commonwealth Government that we looked for relief and +redress—that was the meaning of our wild jubilation when the union of +the states was consummated. Alas! Could we have foreknown the history +of its first couple of years, there would have been no federation in +our time. Could we be unfederated to-morrow, the <i>status quo ante</i> +would be restored the day after, beyond the shadow of a doubt. For the +Federal politician is but the State politician writ large. His wider +sphere of action means but greater opportunities for the exercise of +those political vices which are so ingrained in him as to have become +his second nature. The first act of the Federal Ministry was one of +sordid personal greed; every following act seems to have been worse. +Federation, so far, has but riveted our chains at home and darkened +our character abroad—and I do not know which we feel most keenly, the +latter, I think. For when six voices spoke for us there was a chance +that some of them would do us justice; when the one voice that speaks +for all betrays and disgraces us, we have to take the loss and odium +silently and seem to acquiesce.</p> + +<p>However, the country itself is still, potentially, <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">[301]</a></span>as fine a country +as the world contains—a huge manger, with provision for the +sustenance of myriads of happy homes—and it cannot always remain the +personal possession of a ring of unpatriotic self-seekers which may +more appropriately be likened to a vampire than to a dog. It was meant +to be a great country, and some day the hands that know how to make it +so will get hold of it, perhaps sooner than we think—possibly before +these pages see the light. I close my chronicle on the 18th of +September, 1902, at a moment when the political sky in this State is +brightened by a ray of hope such as it has not known for many a day, +and which may signify the approach of a new era, not for us only but +for the Commonwealth at large.</p> + +<p>Some months ago a movement of revolt against the state of things was +started by a few farmers, humble representatives of the uncorrupted +manhood of the community; they met in their little country town and +formed themselves into a league, which in a few months had branches in +all the rural districts. The moral force generated was enough to put +in a Government pledged (although no one believed its word) to the +league's programme of Economy and Reform. Only the typical, the +professional, politician jibed and jeered at the country bumpkins who +thought to touch his long-established power and his State-filled +pocket. "Is not this mine ass?" said he in effect, and, as soon as the +Reform Government submitted its Reform proposals, voted against them +with a light and fearless heart. But then an unexpected thing +happened. That Government chanced to be in earnest. On that vote it +not only resigned, but applied to the Governor for a dissolution—and +got it. "People's Turn Now" says (in <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">[302]</a></span>big capitals) a city daily, +repeating the phrase with the same emphasis in every issue; and the +fact does seem to have come home to them at last. On the first of +October we shall see what we shall see. The Labour Party and the Civil +Service are combining in defence of the old <i>régime</i>, and their +numbers may be overwhelming; on the other side are the patriots, one +and all, and at their backs the Press, never before united at such a +time.</p> + +<p>I ought to have mentioned sooner—what everyone who knows this country +knows—how high and dignified is the moral and intellectual as well as +(comparatively speaking) the literary standard of our representative +journalism. It is beyond a doubt, and was never more so than at this +moment, that the Press of Australia has a consistent respect for +itself that is not found in some far greater nations. If there is a +"gutter" belonging to it, it is so small and inoffensive that no whiff +has reached my nose. With few exceptions (for which more or less can +be said on the score of other good qualities), there is nothing in +general circulation that is not almost austerely respectable. I have +been told of an editor of high position who, if "darling" appears in a +contributor's MS., crosses it out as an improper word, unfit for the +family circle. We are so respectable as that. The <i>Society Journal</i>, +vulgar spy and tale-bearer, cannot make a living here. In all the +papers, more or less, "social columns" are available for those who +wish to make public display of their frocks and entertainments, but +the old-fashioned lover of domestic privacy may count on being left +alone. As with some other of our national institutions, the founders +of our Press system were gentlemen. A standard of good taste and +high-mindedness was set <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">[303]</a></span>in the beginning, and the tradition of it +remains a living force. When Edward Wilson of the <i>Argus</i> bequeathed +the charge of his interests in that paper to the friend who for thirty +years conserved them so well—who for two-thirds of that time, until +his death, was my friend also and told me the story—the last +instructions of the dying man were: "Keep it gentlemanly, and never +let them be mean." The rival "great daily," the <i>Age</i>, is a power in +the State such as, I should think, no individual newspaper ever was in +any land, and the literary beauty and philosophical significance of +some of its Saturday leaders have reached a level that would have made +them notable amongst men of letters anywhere. And his daily newspaper +is as necessary as his meals to the average citizen, while the weekly +that belongs to it, a wonderful compendium of miscellaneous matter, is +drained to its last drop by the Sunday-resting Paterfamilias of the +rural districts, whose only book it is, and whom I have seen poring +over it luxuriously the live-long day.</p> + +<p>The Press of a country leads it, but it follows also, if only for the +reason that it has its living to earn. And our newspapers being what +they are—capable of the almost incredible nobleness of sinking their +life-long quarrels and party policies to stand shoulder to shoulder +when the true welfare of their State demands it—is the best proof of +its inherent soundness that any country could show. For the example of +Victoria will be an inspiration to her sister colonies, which are all +one people with her, and all in like case.</p> + +<p>It is indeed a good country, even as it stands. I can say with truth +and gratitude, homesickness notwithstanding, that nowhere could I have +been better <span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">[304]</a></span>off. And I am as sure as I am of anything that sooner or +later—this year or next year, or after my time—the day of +emancipation and enlightenment will come, to inevitably make it as +great as it is good.</p> + +<br /> +<br /> + +<h4>THE END</h4> + +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> +<br /> + +<h4><i>Colston & Coy., Limited, Printers. Edinburgh</i></h4> + +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> + +<div class="tr"> +<p class="cen"><a name="TN" id="TN"></a>Typographical errors corrected in text:</p> +<br /> +Page 26: Melbourue replaced with Melbourne<br /> +Page 46: "in any of then" replaced with "in any of them"<br /> +Page 291: "so warmed by he reflected" replaced with "so warmed by the reflected"<br /> + +<p>Note that the spelling of 'canons' on page 62 is retained +as is since the writer of the quote does not have a good +grasp of the English language.</p> +</div> + + +<br /> +<hr /> +<br /> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Thirty Years in Australia, by Ada Cambridge + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA *** + +***** This file should be named 37825-h.htm or 37825-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/8/2/37825/ + +Produced by Darleen Dove, Shannon Barker, Jeannie Howse +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/American +Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Thirty Years in Australia + +Author: Ada Cambridge + +Release Date: October 23, 2011 [EBook #37825] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA *** + + + + +Produced by Darleen Dove, Shannon Barker, Jeannie Howse +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/American +Libraries.) + + + + + + + * * * * * + + +-----------------------------------------------------------+ + | Transcriber's Note: | + | | + | Inconsistent hyphenation and unusual spelling in the | + | original document has been preserved. | + | | + | Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. For | + | a complete list, please see the end of this document. | + | | + +-----------------------------------------------------------+ + + * * * * * + + + + +THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA + + + + + * * * * * + + THIRTY YEARS IN + AUSTRALIA + + + + + BY + ADA CAMBRIDGE + AUTHOR OF "PATH AND GOAL" AND "THE DEVASTATORS" + + + + + METHUEN & CO. + 36 ESSEX STREET W.C. + LONDON + 1903 + + + + + TO + MY TWO LIVING CHILDREN + AND THE DEAR MEMORY OF ONE + WHO WAS LIVING WHEN I WROTE IT + I DEDICATE THIS BOOK + + + + +CONTENTS + + + CHAP. PAGE + + I. "ISLE OF BEAUTY, FARE THEE WELL!" 1 + + II. AUSTRALIA FELIX 11 + + III. THE BUSH 23 + + IV. THE FIRST HOME 35 + + V. DIK 48 + + VI. THE SECOND HOME 64 + + VII. THE THIRD HOME 79 + + VIII. THE MURRAY JOURNEY 93 + + IX. LOCAL COLOUR 111 + + X. THE FOURTH HOME 126 + + XI. THE FIFTH HOME 143 + + XII. THE SIXTH HOME 161 + + XIII. THE BOOM 177 + + XIV. THE SEVENTH HOME 189 + + XV. TOBY 203 + + XVI. THE GREAT STRIKE 214 + + XVII. OVER THE BORDER 236 + + XVIII. THE END OF BUSH LIFE 253 + + XIX. THE EIGHTH HOME 272 + + XX. CONCLUSION 295 + + + + +THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA + + + + +CHAPTER I + +"ISLE OF BEAUTY, FARE THEE WELL!" + + +I knew nothing whatever of Australia when I rashly consented to marry +a young man who had irrevocably bound himself to go and live there, +and, moreover, to go within three months of the day on which the wild +idea occurred to me. During the seven weeks or thereabouts of a +bewildering engagement, the while I got together my modest trousseau, +we hunted for information in local libraries, and from more or less +instructed friends. The books were mostly old ones, the tales the +same. _Geoffrey Hamlyn_ was my sheet anchor, but did not seem to be +supported by the scraps of prosaic history obtainable; we could not +verify those charming homes and social customs. On the other hand, +cannibal blacks and convict bushrangers appeared to be grim facts. As +for the physical characteristics of the country, there were but the +scentless flowers, the songless birds, the cherries with their stones +outside (none of which, actually, is the rule, and I have found +nothing to resemble the description of the latter), and the kangaroo +that carries its family in a breast-pocket, which we felt able to take +for granted. These things we did believe in, because all our +authorities mentioned them. G. had a letter from a college friend who +had preceded him to Australia, reporting the place not wild at all, +but quite like home. He instanced an episcopal dinner-party that he +had attended, and a church dignitary's "three sweetly pretty +daughters," who had come in the evening, and with whom he had sung +duets. But at time of writing he had got no further than +Melbourne--knew no more than we of the mysterious Bush, which I +thought of as a vast shrubbery, with occasional spears hurtling +through it. When we had assimilated all the information available, our +theory of the life before us was still shapeless. However, we were +young and trusting, and prepared to take things as they came. + +G. was an English curate for a few weeks, and an English rector for a +few more. It was just enough to give us an everlasting regret that the +conditions could not have remained permanent. Doubtless, if we had +settled in an English parish, we should have bewailed our narrow lot, +should have had everlasting regrets for missing the chance of breaking +away into the wide world; but since we did exile ourselves, and could +not help it, we have been homesick practically all the time--good as +Australia has been to us. At any moment of these thirty odd years we +would have made for our native land like homing pigeons, could we have +found the means; it was only the lack of the necessary "sinews" that +prevented us. Such a severe form of nostalgia is, however, uncommon +here, and would be cured, I am told, by a twelve months' trip. +Certainly, in nine cases out of ten, where I have known the remedy +tried, it has seemed infallible. The home-goers come back perfectly +satisfied to come back. It is when they stay at home for more than +twelve months that they want to stay altogether. + +G.'s brief curacy synchronised with our brief engagement. I was a +district visitor in the parish which he served, and in which he was +born. He became a rector on the wedding day. The charming rectory was +placed at our disposal for the honeymoon by the real incumbent, our +mutual friend, he and his good wife taking the opportunity to pay +visits until we had done with it. We drove thither in the afternoon, +and heard the bells ringing as we entered the village, and found the +rectory-gate set wide and the white-satin-ribboned maids awaiting us +on the doorstep of the beflowered house. We had two maids and a man +servant; we had a brougham; we had a tiny hamlet of a parish in which +(compared with what we have known of parishes) there was nothing to +do--two services on Sunday, and a little business of coal and clothing +clubs during the week--and where our parishioners dropped curtseys to +us on the road, and felt honoured beyond measure when we went to see +them. No wonder that, under the too totally opposite circumstances of +clerical life as we have lived it here, we have looked back to that +haven of dignified peace and ease with the wish--the stupid wish--that +we could have had it always. + +Nothing could have suited us better while we did have it. We were but +four miles from our homes, and could see our people, who were to lose +us in a month, while still ostensibly in bridal seclusion. A sister +from whom I was separated for the whole of the thirty years, but who +is with me now, to gossip, as we are always doing, of those old days, +used to walk out before breakfast. We would have a quiet sewing +morning, getting forward with the preparations still so far from +completed; then we would perhaps drive her home in the afternoon, and +get an hour with my mother, who surpassed all the mothers I ever knew +in her unselfish passion for her children, and for whom my heart +bleeds to this day when I think of what my going cost her--for I know +more of mothers' sufferings in that way than I did then. She would be +working her dear fingers to the bone over something to add to the +array of zinc-lined boxes which were being fed by instalments in my +deserted room, and I see now the flash of tearful joy that lit her +fair, fine-featured face when I came with my poor crumb of comfort for +her hungry heart. Intimate girl companions walked over to lunch or to +play a game of croquet, or to make better use of the little time +remaining to us; and we walked half-way back with them on the lonely +road and through the leafy lanes. It was April and May, and, as far as +I can remember, all fine weather--a last impression of English +springtime that has lived with me like a beautiful portrait, an +idealised portrait, of a dead and longed-for friend. "Oh to be in +England now that April's there!" has been the yearly aspiration of my +homesick soul, which takes no account of east winds and leaden skies, +but only of chaffinches and apple boughs, just as Browning's did. My +birds are the skylarks above those fen-meadows, and the flower I think +of first my favourite lily-of-the-valley, of which I carried a great +bunch, with the dew still on it, to the cathedral on my +wedding-morning. And those golden May evenings, when we wandered back +along the empty road, after setting our friends on their homeward +way--I see them in some of Leader's pictures, which, if I were rich, +I would buy to live with me, for that reason only. The friends could +dine with us at the then usual hour, and still get home before the +slow twilight passed into night--a thing impossible in this country. +They were the last hours that we spent together--all young things +then, but now grey and elderly, though I cannot realise it; three of +them widows, most of them grandmothers, but never old to me, nor I to +them. For more than thirty years we have not met, and there have been +long gaps in our correspondence; but friendship has survived all, +unchanged. They still write to ask when they are to see me, and I +still write back to make provisional appointments which I can by no +effort contrive to keep. + +I was married on the 25th of April 1870. On the same date of the +following month I left them all, never--as now seems only too +probable--to return. We buoyed ourselves up through the anguish of the +last farewells with a promise, made in all good faith, that I should +come back in five years. My husband promised to bring me. "We must +save up," we said to each other, "and have a holiday then." It was an +easy thing to plan, but proved too difficult to carry out. After we +became a family, going anywhere meant going as a family, and taking +all the roots of its support and livelihood with it. Theoretically, I +could have run home alone, if not in five years, in eight or ten--we +could have afforded that--but practically it was as impossible as that +we should all go, which we could never afford. So here we are still, +and my poor mother, who lived to the last on the hope that we had +given her, has long been in her grave. There is no trace of an English +home to go back to now. + +We went alone to London for two or three busy days. Friends of G.'s, +whom I had never seen before, adopted us for the time, and fathers and +mothers could not have done more for us. They furnished our cabin in +the docks, and attended to our luggage--we saw neither until we went +on board at Plymouth--and pressed help and comfort of every kind upon +us. The ship's regulation against private liquors was set at naught by +a great box that stood in our cabin throughout the voyage, placed +there by the order of one of these friends. The box was a complete +wine-cellar, containing, in addition to wines of the best and dozens +of soda water, an assortment of choice cordials and liqueurs, the like +of some of which we have not tasted since. There was a particular +ginger-brandy--administered to me in the cold, wild weather of which +we had so much--that we have tried to get at various times in vain. +What we get is as moonlight unto sunlight compared with that +ginger-brandy of the ship. I may say that the donor was a London wine +merchant in extensive business. Not we only, but many a sick and +shivering fellow-passenger had cause to bless his generous heart and +hand. + +Our last sight of this gentleman and his family was on Paddington +platform, whither they had driven us after a festive farewell dinner, +at which our healths were drunk and good fortune invoked upon our +journey. We sat in the train, and they piled their parting presents on +our laps. One of them brought me a fine pair of field-glasses to look +at flying-fish and porpoises with--I use them now, daily, to watch the +approach of family and visitors coming across Hobson's Bay; another +rushed to the bookstall that had already supplied us with all its +papers, bought a complete set of Dickens' novels, and tumbled them in +armfuls upon the carriage seat beside us, just as the train was moving +off. Australian hospitality cannot surpass that of those kind people, +to whom I had been a perfect stranger two days before. + +Most of the night, as we travelled down to Plymouth, I talked with paper +and pencil to my beloved ones at home. For change of position, and to +get better light, I knelt on the carriage seat for a time, spreading my +sheet on the leather of the back. Our one fellow-traveller, a stout +clergyman, dozing since we started in his distant corner, woke up to see +what I was doing, and remonstrated with me. "Don't you think," said he, +"that you had better try to sleep a little now, and write your letters +in the morning?" In the fulness of my heart, I told him that I did not +know how much of the morning might be left me, and the pressing reasons +that there were for making the most of my time. Then he informed us that +he too was to sail for Australia to-morrow, and by the same ship; and it +immediately transpired that he was the person for whose sake that ship +had been chosen for us. We had arranged a later start by one of Green's +line, when a venerable archdeacon, visiting us at our rectory, urged us +to change to one of Money Wigrams', because he knew of a Melbourne +clergyman who was going in her. The clergyman had his wife with him, +which our archdeacon thought would be so nice for me. With great +difficulty we transferred ourselves, anticipating advantages that we did +not get. The Melbourne clergyman--here revealed--was a good man, but an +uncongenial companion at close quarters; his wife--she was his second, +and had been the servant of his first--was more so, and a terrible +stirrer-up of strife amongst the other lady passengers. She had embarked +in London. + +I remember the look of Devonshire in the early May dawn. My +grandmother had died at Ottery St. Mary, and I loved the pleasant +county and for years had wanted to explore it. But this was all I ever +saw of its beautiful face--Ivy Bridge (was that the name?), one scene +that has not faded, and the place where the railway ran close beside +the sea. We reached Plymouth at a ghastly hour before anybody was up. +At the hotel recommended to us by our latest friend we were shown into +a room where the dirty glasses and tobacco ashes of the night before +still defiled the air and the tablecloth. Here we sat until a bedroom +was ready for us, when we went to bed--which seemed a most useless +proceeding--until there was a fair chance of getting breakfast. A bath +and a good meal pulled us together, and then we went out for our last +walk on English ground. A charming walk it was, exploring that old +town--I would give something to be able to repeat it--and a sweet +conclusion to our home life. We returned to our hotel for a bite of +lunch, hired an old man and a barrow to trundle our few things (the +heavy baggage having been put on board in London) to the waterside, +and after him a waterman and a boat, and got out to our ship lying in +the Sound--the first we saw of her--at a little before noon, which was +her advertised sailing hour. The newspapers called her a "fine +powerful clipper ship of 1150 tons," and boasted that her saloon, +which was "a very spacious apartment," could "accommodate forty +passengers with ease." We were thirty-two and a baby, which seemed +just to fill it comfortably. Such were the mammoth liners of those +days. As we were rowed up to her gangway, bashful under the eyes of a +number of keenly-interested spectators, whose heads hung over the +bulwark, we thought her wonderful. + +The wife of our latest acquaintance received us on deck, but all she +wanted of us was information as to where her husband was and what he +was doing. We could not tell her; we had not seen him since our +arrival in the town. She could do nothing but watch for him, fuming; +and we went to our quarters and our discoveries of the comforts there +provided for us by the thoughtfulness of our London friends. We had +one of the only two large cabins on the ship; the other was the +captain's; the rudder clanked between us and him, behind the bulkhead +at the end of our wide curved sofa, where the pillow, tucked into a +bright rug, was a full-sized feather bed, a wedding present that at +first we did not know what to do with, but which soon proved the most +valuable of them all, as it still is, in the form of plenty of soft, +fat cushions all over the house. I spent a large part of my days at +sea reclining upon this downy mass, which began below my +shoulder-blades and sloped upward nearly to the ceiling; as I lay I +could look out of and down from the row of stern windows that made one +side of my couch, and watch the following birds and fishes--sometimes +a shark beguiled with a piece of pork--without lifting my head. It was +an envied place in the tropics, when the air swept free to the main +deck through open doors; but in rough weather--and it was nearly all +rough weather--the swing of the sea-saw was killing. It used to fling +me out of bed over a high bunk board until I was black and blue with +my falls, and it kept me sea-sick the whole voyage. + +We "settled up" our room according to our inexperienced notions, and +at four o'clock we sat down to dinner in the "cuddy," still in port. +Excellent dinners we had at that odd hour for dining, which was the +regular hour, and really a very suitable one under the circumstances +of sea life, breaking up the long day of which most of us were tired +by the time the first dressing-bell rang at half-past three. The +function practically occupied the afternoon, and, as I said, was +carried out to the satisfaction of all save those who would never have +been satisfied with anything. That the company could feed us so well, +and lodge and carry us, for less than ten shillings a day argued good +management, but I think they must have relied on the dead cargo for +their profits. We were in Plymouth Sound on Sunday morning. On Sunday +evening a party of passengers went ashore to attend church. "Mind," +said the captain, "if a wind gets up while you are away, I shall not +wait for you." But no wind stirred that night, nor all the next day, +nor the next. Our clergyman friend (without his wife) darted to and +fro, for he was confident that no ship would venture to leave a person +of his importance behind, but we dared not risk it. We spent our time +leaning over the poop-rail, gazing at the dear land, so near and yet +so far, and thinking of our mourning relatives, with whom we might +have been if we had known. When I was not doing that, I was writing to +them. On Wednesday morning, the 1st of June--we had embarked on +Saturday--the post-bag was closed for the pilot, and I looked my last +on England through a grey sheet of rain. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +AUSTRALIA FELIX + + +The story of a sea-voyage thirty years ago, if it could properly be +included in this chronicle, might interest the young reader, born +since the era of the sailing ship, and to whom therefore the true +romance of ocean travel is unknown. To me, who, if I could cross the +world to-morrow, would choose the most civilised steamer I could +afford, the memory of the _Hampshire_ on her maiden trip brings regret +for beauty vanishing from the world, as the Pink Terraces of New +Zealand have vanished, or the big bird-thronged hedges of rural +England in my nutting and blackberrying childhood. All such losses +have been amply compensated for, no doubt--I am not of those who, +having outlived them, insist that the old times were better than the +new--but they are losses, notwithstanding. The fine old sailing +sailor-men and their noble seamanship, and the almost sentient +responsiveness of the "powerful clipper" of a thousand tons or so in +their hands--the spectacle of her with all her tiers of sails full, +leaning to the breeze, or fighting storms, bare-poled, by sheer brain +sense and the inspiration of the divinest unconscious courage that +human history can show--there is nothing in the splendid new regime to +touch the heart and the imagination as these did. I forget the +hard-bottomed and treacherous bunks, the soon-carpetless, soaked +floors, the dancing table that shot fowls and legs of mutton into our +laps out of dish and fiddle, the cold that one could find no shelter +from except in bed, the terrible gales, the incurable sea-sickness, +the petty feuds of the lady passengers; that is, I think of them as +not worth thinking of, with the feeling that it was finer to rough it +a bit as we did than to be pampered at every turn as sea-travellers +are now, and in recognition of the fact that my sufferings brought me +many pleasures that otherwise I should have been deprived of. The +captain wanted to--only I would not let him--give me his own swinging +cot. The head steward used to smuggle in mysterious parcels, which, +when unwrapped, disclosed little dainties, specially prepared and hot +from the cooking-stove, to tempt her who was said to be "the most +sea-sick lady they had ever carried." The other ladies, when not +immersed in their little social broils, from which my physical state +and geographical position detached me, were kindness itself. One of +them gave me that nearly extinct article, a hair net--it was the day +of chignons, the manufacture of which was beyond me--and seldom have I +received a more useful gift. With my hair tucked into this bag, +dressing-gowned and shawled, I used to go up after nightfall to a +couch on the skylight; there I would enjoy myself, feeling fairly well +until I moved to go down again--amused with the little comedies going +on around me, and enraptured with the picture of the winged vessel as +I looked up through her labyrinth of rigging to the mastheads and the +sky, and then down and around at the sea and the night through which +she moved so majestically. Pictures of her sweeping through a +dream-like world of moonlight and mystery are indelible in my mind. +Sometimes the moonlight was so bright that we played chess and card +games by it on the skylight and about the deck. At other times we lay +becalmed, and I had my chance to dress myself and enjoy the evening +dance or concert, or whatever was going on. But at the worst of +times--even in the tremendous storms, when the ship lay poop-rail +under, all but flat on her beam ends (drowning the fowls and pigs on +that side), or plunged and wallowed under swamping cross-seas that +pounded down through smashed skylights upon us tumbling about +helplessly in the dark--even in these crises of known danger and +physical misery there was something exhilarating and uplifting--a +sense of finely-lived if not heroic life, that may come to the coddled +steamer passenger when the machinery breaks down, but which I cannot +associate with him and his "floating hotel" under any circumstances +short of impending shipwreck. + +We sighted Cape Otway on the 16th of August. Seventy-seven days! Yet +the Melbourne newspapers of the 19th called it smart work, considering +the sensational weather we had passed through. More than forty ships +were reported overdue when we arrived--a curious thing to think of +now, with the steamers crowding every port keeping time like +clockwork. The pilots that bring them up the bay can rarely enjoy the +popularity and prestige of their predecessors of the last generation. +The sensation caused by the knowledge that ours was on board, with his +month-and-a-half-old letters and newspapers, filled with information +of the happenings in the world from which we had been totally cut off +for nearly a quarter of a year, must have been delightful to him. We +came out to breakfast to find him there, crowded about by the young +men, the honoured guest of the company, one and all of whom hung upon +his every word--particularly the gamblers who had had to wait till now +for the name of the Derby winner. I remember that this item of news +was considered the most important; next to it was the news that +Dickens was dead. + +Although we sighted land on the 16th, it was not until the 19th that +we set foot upon it, so leisurely did we do things in those days. +Contrary winds kept us hovering about the Heads for some hours. The +pilot who came on board before breakfast saw us well into our +afternoon dinner before he decided to tack through the Rip against +them; we shortened the meal which it was our custom to make the most +of in order to watch the manoeuvre, which was very pretty. The captain +was charmed with it, although there was one awful moment when the +vessel was but her own length from one of the reefs--the noise of the +wind had caused one of the yelled orders to be misunderstood--and it +was amusing to note his joyous excitement as he marched about, rubbing +his hands. "She's a yacht, sir," he bawled to the sympathetic pilot; +"you can do anything with her." "You can that," the pilot answered, as +he made his delicate zig-zags through that formidable gateway in the +teeth of the wind--a feat in seamanship that the dullest landlubber +could not but admire and marvel at. + +And so we came to shelter and calm water at last. We anchored off +Queenscliff and signalled for the doctor, who did not immediately put +out to us, as he should have done. We had had such hopes of getting +to a shore bed that night that most of us had stripped our cabins--the +furniture of which had to be of our own providing--and packed +everything up; now we had to unpack again, to get out bedding for +another night and find a candle by which to see to take off the smart +shore clothes in which we had sat all day, eyeing each other's +costumes, which for the first time seemed to reveal us in our true +characters. We were ungratefully disheartened by this trivial +disappointment, and retired to rest all grumbling at the Providence +which had brought us through so many perils unharmed. + +Next morning the ship seethed with indignation because the doctor +still made no sign. What happened to him afterwards I don't know, but +the penalties he was threatened with for being off duty at the wrong +time were heavy. He detained us so long that again our confident +expectation of a shore bed was frustrated; for yet another night we +had to camp in our dismantled cabin. The pair of tugs that dragged us +from the Heads to Hobson's Bay, making their best pace, could not get +us home until black night had fallen and it was considered too late to +go up to the pier. + +I suppose it was about nine o'clock when we dropped anchor. All we +could see of the near city was a three-quarter ring of lights dividing +dark water from dark sky--just what I see now every night when I come +upstairs to bed, before I draw the blinds down. We watched them, +fascinated, and--still more fascinating--the boats that presently +found their way to us, bringing welcoming friends and relatives to +those passengers who possessed them. We, strangers in a strange land, +sat apart and watched these favoured ones--listened to their callings +back and forth over the ship's side, beheld their embraces at the +gangway, their excited interviews in the cuddy, their gay departures +into the night and the unknown, which in nearly every case swallowed +them for ever as far as we were concerned. Three only of the whole +company have we set eyes on since--excepting the friend who became our +brother--and one of these three renewed acquaintance with us but a +year or two ago. Another I saw once across a hotel dinner-table. The +third was the clergyman who had been so kindly foisted on us--or we on +him--before we left England; and it was enough for us to see him afar +off at such few diocesan functions as we afterwards attended together; +we dropped closer relations as soon as there was room to drop them. +However, he was a useful and respected member of his profession, and +much valued by his own parish, from which death removed him many a +year ago. Quite a deputation of church members came off to welcome him +on that night of his return from his English holiday, and to tell him +of the things his _locum tenens_ had been doing in his absence. He was +furious at learning that this person--at the present moment the head +of the Church of England in this state--had had the presumption to +replace an old organ--_his_ old organ--with a new one. In the +deputation were ladies with votive bouquets for his wife; the perfume +of spring violets in the saloon deepened the sense of exile and +solitude that crept upon us when their boat and the rest had vanished +from view, leaving but the few friendless ones to the hospitality of +the ship for a last night's lodging. + +However, in the morning, we had our turn. It was the loveliest +morning, a sample of the really matchless climate (which we had been +informed was exactly like that of the palm-houses at Kew), clear as +crystal, full of sunshine and freshness; and when we awoke amid +strange noises, and looked out of our port-hole, we saw that not sea +but wooden planks lay under it--Port Melbourne railway pier, exactly +as it is now, only that its name was then Sandridge and its old piles +thirty years stouter where salt water and barnacles gnawed them. + +With what joy as well as confidence did we don our best clerical coat +and our best purple petticoat and immaculate black gown (the skirt +pulled up out of harm's way through a stout elastic waist-cord, over +which it hung behind in a soft, unobtrusive bag, for street wear), and +lay out our Peter Robinson jacket and bonnet, and gloves from the +hermetically sealed bottle, upon the bare bunk! And the breakfast we +then went to is a memory to gloat upon--the succulent steak, the fresh +butter and cream, the shore-baked rolls, the piled fruits and salads; +nothing ever surpassed it except the mid-day meal following, with its +juicy sirloin and such spring vegetables as I had never seen. This +also I battened on, with my splendidly prepared appetite, though G. +did not. The bishop's representative--our first Australian friend, +whose fine and kindly face is little changed in all these years, and +which I never look upon without recalling that moment, my first and +just impression of it and him--appeared in our cabin doorway early in +the morning; and it was deemed expedient that G. should go with him to +report himself at headquarters, and return for me when that business +was done. So I spent some hours alone, watching the railway station at +the head of the pier through my strong glasses. In the afternoon I +too landed, and was driven to lodgings that had been secured for us in +East Melbourne, where we at once dressed for dinner at the house of +our newest friend, and for one of the most charming social evenings +that I ever spent. The feature of it that I best remember was a vivid +literary discussion based upon _Lothair_, which was the new book of +the hour, and from which our host read excruciating extracts. How +brightly every detail of those first hours in Australia stands out in +the mind's records of the past--the refined little dinner (I could +name every dish on the dainty table), the beautiful and adored invalid +hostess, who died not long afterwards, and whom those who knew her +still speak of as "too good for this world"; the refreshment of +intellectual talk after the banalities of the ship; the warm kindness +of everybody, even our landlady, who was really a lady, and like a +mother to me; the comfort of the sweet and clean shore life--I shall +never cease to glow at the recollection of these things. The beautiful +weather enhanced the charm of all, and--still more--the fact that, +although at first I staggered with the weakness left by such long +sea-sickness, I not only recovered as soon as my foot touched land, +but enjoyed the best health of my life for a full year afterwards. + +The second day was a Saturday, and we were taken out to see the +sights. No description that we had read or heard of, even from our +fellow-passengers whose homes were there, had prepared us for the +wonder that Melbourne was to us. As I remember our metropolis then, +and see it now, I am not conscious of any striking general change, +although, of course, the changes in detail are innumerable. It was a +greater city for its age thirty years ago than it is to-day, great as +it is to-day. I lately read in some English magazine the statement +that tree-stumps--likewise, if I mistake not, kangaroos--were features +of Collins Street "twenty-five years ago." I can answer for it that in +1870 it was excellently paved and macadamised, thronged with its +waggonette-cabs, omnibuses, and private carriages--a perfectly good +and proper street, except for its open drainage gutters. The nearest +kangaroo hopped in the Zoological Gardens at Royal Park. In 1870, +also--although the theatrical proceedings of the Kelly gang took place +later--bushranging was virtually a thing of the past. So was the Bret +Harte mining-camp. We are credited still, I believe, with those +romantic institutions, and our local story-writers love to pander to +the delusion of some folks that Australia is made up of them; I can +only say--and I ought to know--that in Victoria, at any rate, they +have not existed in my time. Had they existed in the other colonies, I +must have heard of it. The last real bushranger came to his inevitable +bad end shortly before we arrived. The cowardly Kellys, murderers, and +brigands as they were, and costlier than all their predecessors to +hunt down, always seemed to me but imitation bushrangers. Mining has +been a sober pursuit, weighted with expensive machinery. Indeed, we +have been quite steady and respectable, so far as I know. In the way +of public rowdyism I can recall nothing worth mentioning--unless it be +the great strike of 1890. + +We went to see the Town Hall--the present one, lacking only its +present portico; and the splendid Public Library, as it was until a +few years ago, when a wing was added; and the Melbourne Hospital, as +it stands to-day; and the University, housed as it is now, and +beginning to gather its family of colleges about it. We were taken +a-walking in the Fitzroy Gardens--saw the same fern gully, the same +plaster statues, that still adorn it; and to the Botanical Gardens, +already furnished with their lakes and swans, and rustic bridges, and +all the rest of it. And how beautiful we thought it all! As I have +said, it was springtime, and the weather glorious. There had been +excessive rains, and were soon to be more--rains which caused 1870 to +be marked in history as "the year of the great floods"--but the +loveliness of the weather as we first knew it I shall never forget. + +We finished the week in the suburban parish that included Pentridge, +the great prison of the State--an awesome pile of dressed granite then +as now. The incumbent was not well, and G. was sent to help him with +his Sunday duty. The first early function was at the gaol, from which +they brought back an exquisitely-designed programme of the music and +order of service, which I still keep amongst my mementoes of those +days. It was done by a prisoner, who supplied one, and always a +different one, to the chaplain each Sunday. + +At his house--where again we were surprised to find all the +refinements we had supposed ourselves to have left in England, for he +and his wife were exceptionally cultivated persons--we slept on the +ground floor for the first time in our lives, all mixed up with +drawing-room and garden, which felt very strange and public, and +almost improper. Now I prefer the bungalow arrangement to any other; I +like to feel the house all round me, close and cosy, and to be able to +slip from my bed into the open air when I like, and not to be cut off +from folks when I am ill. For more than twenty years I was accustomed +to it, sleeping with open windows and unlocked doors, like any Bedouin +in his tent, unmolested in the loneliest localities by night-prowling +man or beast. I miss this now, when I live in town and have to climb +stairs and isolate myself--or sleep with shut windows (which I never +will) in a ground-floor fortress, made burglar-proof at every point. + +Bishop and Mrs. Perry had a dinner-party for us on Monday. That day +was otherwise given to our particular ship friend (of whom I shall say +more presently); with him, a stranger in the land like ourselves, we +had adventures and excursions "on our own," eluding the many kind folk +who would have liked to play courier. We lunched plentifully at an +excellent restaurant--I cannot identify it now, but it fixed our +impression that we had indeed come to a land of milk and honey--and +then rambled at large. The evening was very pleasant. Whether as host +or guest, the first Bishop of Melbourne was always perfect, and we met +some interesting people at his board. Others came in after dinner, +amongst them two of the "sweetly pretty daughters," of whom we had +heard in England, and who did not quite come up to our expectations. +They are hoary-headed maiden ladies now--the youngest as white as the +muslin of the frock she wore that night. + +We did many things during the remainder of the week, which was full of +business, pleasure, and hospitalities, very little of our time being +spent in privacy. The shops were surprisingly well furnished and +tempting, and we acted upon our supposition that we should find none +to speak of in the Bush. We made careful little purchases from day to +day. The very first of them, I think, was Professor Halford's +snake-bite cure. We had an idea that, once out of the city, our lives +would not be safe without it for a day. It was a hypodermic syringe +and bottle of stuff, done up in a neat pocket-case. That case did +cumber pockets for a time, but it was never opened, and eventually +went astray and was no more seen--or missed. Yet snakes were quite +common objects of the country then. I used to get weary of the +monotony of sitting my horse and holding G.'s, while at every mile or +so he stopped to kill one, during our Bush-rides in warm weather. +English readers should know that in the Bush it has ever been a point +of honour, by no means to be evaded, to kill every snake you see, if +possible, no matter how difficult the job, nor how great your +impatience to be after other jobs. That probably is why they are so +infrequent now that any chance appearance of the creature is +chronicled in the papers as news. + +Another early purchase was a couple of large pine-apples, at +threepence a-piece. We each ate one (surreptitiously, in a retired +spot), and realised one of the ambitions of our lives--to get enough +of that delicacy for once. + +On Saturday the 24th, the eighth day from our arrival, we turned our +backs upon all this wild dissipation and our faces towards stern duty. +We left Melbourne for the Bush. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE BUSH + + +It was not quite bush, to start with, because we travelled by railway +to our immediate destination, and that was a substantial township set +amongst substantial farms and stations, intersected by made roads. But +on the way we had samples of typical country, between one +stopping-place and another. First, there were the ugly, stony plains, +with their far-apart stone fences, formed by simply piling the brown +boulders, bound together by their own weight only, into walls of the +required height. This dreary country represented valuable estates, and +remains of the same aspect and in the hands of the same families, I +believe, still. Gradually these stone-strewn levels merged into +greener and softer country, which grew the gum-trees we had heard so +much of; and presently we came to closely-folded, densely-forested +hills, the "Dividing Range"--a locality to be afterwards associated +with many charming memories--where snow and cloud-mists enwrapped one +in winter, and from which the distant panorama of the low-lying +capital and the sea was lovely on a clear day. But it was like eating +one's first olive, that first acquaintance with Bush scenery; we had +not got the taste of it. I cannot remember that we admired anything. +Rather, an impression remains--the only one that does remain--of a +cheerless effect upon our minds. Perhaps the weather had changed. + +There was no lack of cheer in the welcome awaiting us at our journey's +end. Our clergyman-host met us on the railway platform with the face +of a father greeting children home from school. There was a cab +waiting, into which our traps were thrown, but we preferred to walk up +to the parsonage through the streets of the clean little town, that we +might study its unexpected points and see how enterprising and +civilised the Bush could be. The parson's wife, aged twenty-one and +four years married, received us on the doorstep of the cheerful house, +and at once we were as perfectly at home in it as in our own. That was +the way with all Australian houses, we found. + +Sunday was certainly wet. The two parsons drove out to a Bush service +in the afternoon, and we their wives had a bad quarter of an hour +listening to the bell ringing for the evening one, while yet there was +no sign of their return who had promised to be back for tea; the boggy +roads and swollen water-courses so delayed them that it was on the +stroke of church time ere they turned up. But next day the sun shone +again, and we were taken for a drive over macadamised roads and shown +things that corrected our opinion of Bush scenery. And that day, +neighbouring clergymen, Sunday off their minds, came to make our +acquaintance, all full of information and advice for us, all eager +themselves for news from the "Old Country." Mrs C. gave them +shakedowns on sofas and floor, to which they repaired at disgraceful +hours of the night, because they could not stop talking. Where is that +party now?--the merriest clerical party I was ever in. The host, our +friend from that day, and godfather to one of our sons, was made a +bishop, and died but a few months ago; his merry wife is a +broken-hearted widow, crippled with neuritis. One of the guests, in +after years still more intimately dear, became an archdeacon, and is +now dead also. Two others are past work, resting in retirement until +the end comes. We, the youngest of the group, bar one, are beginning +to realise that the evening for us also is drawing on. + +It was here, by the way, that we had news of the commencement of the +war between France and Prussia. It came by the monthly mail-boat, +which was our one channel of communication with the world. This budget +gave texts for the discussions that are so memorable for their +vivacity and charm. A great day was mail-day in those times. Looking +back, I cannot remember that we fretted much over our four blank +weeks, during which the most awful and personally serious things might +happen without our knowing it; but I do remember that when we got the +cable many of us grumbled because it took away the interest of +mail-day, which became to us as a novel of which we know the ending +before we begin to read it. + +Holiday travels ended on the last day of August. That night we started +for the up-country post to which G. had been appointed, and where he +was expected to begin his duties on the following Sunday. August 31st +was a Wednesday, and therefore ample time seemed to have been allowed +for a journey from Melbourne which the daily coach accomplished in +less than a couple of days (and which is now done by the Sydney +express in four hours). However, "the year of the great flood" was +already making its reputation. Bridges and culverts had been washed +away, and the coach-road was reported impassable for ladies. Men could +wade and swim, assist to push the vehicle and extricate it from +bogs--they were expected to do so--but the authorities in Melbourne +advised my husband that the conditions were too rough for me. +Consequently we took a round-about route, whereby it was still +reckoned that we should get to our destination before Sunday. + +The C.'s saw us off during the afternoon--not back to town, but on by +the railway which ended at the Murray. We were passed on from friend +to friend until a group of kind men--whom I never saw before or since, +but shall never forget--established us on board the little Murray +streamer which was to be our home till Saturday. It was the mild +spring night of that part of the colony, which embraces so many +climates; and I can see now, in my mind's eye, the swirl of the +brimming river that so soon after overflowed the town; the lights of +the wharf and the boat, which spangled the dark sky and water with +sparks from its wood-fed furnace; the generally romantic +picturesqueness of a scene--one of a sensational series--which +indelibly impressed itself upon me, an imaginative young person seeing +the world for the first time. + +I can only with an effort remember how uncomfortable that boat was; +when I think of it at all, my mind fills with recollections of the +deeply interesting experiences that came to me by its means. On that +flooded river--so flooded that its bed, for the greater part of the +way, was marked by no banks, but only its bordering trees--I saw +blacks in native costume, the now rare kangaroo and emu in flocks; +black swans, white ibises, grey cranes; the iguana running up a tree, +the dear laughing jackass in his glory; all the notorious +characteristics of the country, and many more undreamed of. Most +distinctly do I remember, the unceasing chorus of the frogs, and the +solemn-sounding echo of the steamer's puffs and pants through the +solitary gum-forests, especially at night. But we soon had to leave +off travelling at night, on account of the many foreign bodies that +the flood was whirling down--the debris of houses and bridges, trees, +stacks, all sorts of things. Indeed, even in daylight the navigation +of the turbulent stream was a most risky business. + +Consternation fell upon us when Saturday morning came, and we were +informed that there was small chance of completing the passage that +day. This meant being stranded in a strange township, at some possibly +low public-house, on Sunday, when the coach of our last stage would +not be running, and the breaking of an engagement that was considered +of immense importance. + +"What shall we do?" we asked ourselves, and the question was overheard +by fellow-passengers, anxious, as everybody was, to help us. + +"It's a pity you can't cut across," said one. "From here to W---- is +no distance as the crow flies." + +Compared with the bow-loop we were making, it was no distance--a few +hours' drive, with normal roads and weather; and just then the steamer +stopped to take in cargo from a lonely shed, near which we perceived a +cart, a grazing horse, and a man, evidently belonging to each other, +and on the right (Victorian) side of the stream. + +"Would it be possible," one of us suggested, "to hire that cart and +cut across?" + +G. went to try, while I leaned over the boat's rail and anxiously +watched the negotiations. They were successful, and we hurriedly +collected our wraps and bags, our heavy luggage was put ashore, and +the steamer passed on and vanished round the next bend of the river, +which was all bends, leaving us on the bank--in the real Bush for the +first time, and delighted with the situation. The man with the cart +had guaranteed to get us home before nightfall. + +We climbed over our boxes, which filled the body of the vehicle, +settled ourselves upon them as comfortably as their angles permitted, +and started merrily on our way. It was the morning of the day, of the +season, of the Australian year, of our two lives; and I could never +lose the memory of my sensations in that vernal hour. I can sniff now +the delicious air, rain-washed to more than even its accustomed +purity, the scents of gum and wattle and fresh-springing grass, the +atmosphere of untainted Nature and the free wilds. I can see the vast +flocks of screaming cockatoos and parrots of all colours that darted +about our path--how wonderful and romantic I thought them! And what +years it is since the wild parrot has shown himself to me in any +number or variety! Like the once ubiquitous 'possum, he seems a +vanishing race--at any rate, in this state. I suppose they still have +sanctuary in the larger and less settled ones. I hope so. + +However, we were not far on this promising journey when troubles +began. The rain returned, and settled to a solid downpour, that +increased to a deluge as the day wore on. The Bush track became softer +and softer, stickier and stickier, the dreadful bogs of its deeper +parts more and more difficult of negotiation by the poor overweighted, +willing horse, whose strength, as we soon saw, was unequal to the task +before him. He got on fairly well until after the noonday halt, when +he was rubbed down and fed--when we also were fed by a poor selector's +wife at whose hut (in the absence of hotels) we solicited food, and +who gave us all she had, bread and cream, as much as we could eat, and +then refused to take a penny for it. But starting again, with rain +heavier than before, the poor beast's struggles to do his hopeless +best became more than I could bear. When I had seen him scramble +through three or four bogs that sucked him down like quicksands, and +it seemed that he must burst his heart in the effort to get out of +them, I stopped the cart and said I would walk. My weight might not be +much, but such as it was he should be relieved of it. G. also walked, +but as he was needed to help the driver I left him and was soon far +ahead, intending to give this negative aid to the expedition as long +as I could find my way. + +I had been told to "follow the track," and I followed it for miles. +The Bush was drowned in rain, so that I had to jump pools, and climb +logs and branches, and get round swamps, in such a way that I felt it +every minute more impossible to retrace my steps. I carried an +umbrella, but I was wet to the skin. I was quite composed, however, +except for my distress on account of the poor horse, whose master's +voice and whip I could hear in the distance behind me from time to +time; and I was not at all alarmed. I had prepared myself for the +savageness of a savage country. I imagined that this was the sort of +thing I should have to get accustomed to. Now and then I sat down to +recover breath and to wring my sopping skirts, and to wait for the +sound of the cart advancing, after the frequent silences that +betokened bogs. + +By the way, I hear nothing nowadays of those bogs which, in their +various forms, made our winter drives so exciting--the "glue-pots," +the "rotten grounds," the "spue-holes," worst of all, indicated by a +little bubble-up of clayey mud that you could cover with a +handkerchief, but which, if a horse stepped on it, would take his leg +to the knee, or to any depth that it would go without breaking. "Made" +roads and drainage-works seem to have done away with them this long +time, for the other day I met a resident of the locality who did not +know, until I told him, what a spue-hole was. + +At last it was all silence. I waited for the cart, and it did not +come. I called--there was no answer. At the end of an hour--it may +have been two or three hours--the situation was the same. What had +happened was that the horse was at last in a bog that he could not get +out of, and that bog was miles away. I could not go back to see what +had happened. I did not know where I was. I conjectured that I had +turned off the track somewhere, and that my husband was travelling +away from me; that I was lost in the Bush, where I might never be +found again--where I should have to spend the night alone, at any +rate, in the horrible solitude and darkness and the drenching rain. + +Appropriately, in this extremity, and just as dusk was closing in, I +heard a splashing and a crashing, and my knight appeared--one of +those fine, burly, bearded squatter-men who were not only the backbone +of their young country, but everything else that was sound and strong. +He drew rein in amazement; I rose from my log and stood before him in +the deepest confusion. Finally I explained my plight, and in two +minutes all trouble was over. Bidding me stay where I was for a short +time longer, he galloped away, and presently returned in a buggy +loaded with rugs and wraps, and bore me off to his house somewhere +near, telling me that he would return again for my husband, and had +sent men to the rescue of the cart and horse, now so buried in the bog +that not much more than his head and neck were visible. + +Ah, those dear Bush-houses--so homely, so cosy, so hospitable, so +picturesque--and now so rare! At least a dozen present themselves to +my mind when I try to recall a perfect type, and this one amongst the +first, although I never was in it after that night. They were always a +nest of buildings that had grown one at a time, the house-father +having been his own architect, with no design but to make his family +comfortable, and to increase their comfort as his means allowed. And +this must have been the golden prime of the squatter class in +Victoria, for the free selector had but lately been let loose upon his +lands, and the consequent ruin that he prognosticated had not visibly +touched him. In the early stages of home-making, his home-life had +been rough enough; but there was no roughness in it now, although +there was plenty of work, and although the refinements about him were +all in keeping with his hardy manliness, his simplicity, and sincerity +of character. I used to be much struck by the contrast of his +cherished "imported" furniture with its homely setting--the cheval +glass and the mahogany wardrobe on the perhaps bare, dark-grey +hardwood floor--incongruities of that sort, which somehow always +seemed in taste. Never have I known greater luxury of toilet +appointments than in some of those hut-like dwellings. In the humblest +of them the bed stood always ready for the casual guest, a clean brush +and comb on the dressing-table, and easy house-slippers under it. And +then the paper-covered canvas walls used to belly out and in with the +wind that puffed behind them; opossums used to get in under the roof +and run over the canvas ceilings, which sagged under their weight, +showing the impression of their little feet and of the round of their +bodies where they sat down. + +The country-houses become more and more Europeanised, year by year. +The inward ordering matches the outward architecture, and, although +Australian hospitality has survived the homes that were its +birthplaces, one hesitates to present one's self as an uninvited guest +at the door with the electric bell and the white-capped maid, who +asks, "What name, sir?" when you inquire if the family are at home. +There is an off-chance that you may be unwelcome, or, at any rate +inopportune, whereas it was impossible to imagine such a thing in what +we now lovingly call "the old days." + +I came in, an utter stranger, out of the dark night and that wet and +boggy wilderness, weary and without a dry stitch on me, to such a +scene, such a welcome, as I could not forget in a dozen lifetimes. The +door had been flung wide on the approach of the buggy, and I was +lifted down into the light that poured from it, and passed straight +into what appeared to be the living room of the family, possibly +their only one. The glorious log fire of the country--the most +beautiful piece of house-furniture in the world--blazed on the snowy +white-washed hearth, filling every nook with warmth and comfort; and +the young mistress, a new-made mother just up from her bed, in a smart +loose garment that would now be called a tea-gown, came forward from +her armchair to greet me as if I had been her sister, at the least. +The table was spread for the dinner, to which the husband had been +riding home when I encountered and delayed him; and what a feature of +the charming picture it was! I remember the delicious boiled chicken +and mutton curry that were presently set upon it, and how I enjoyed +them. But first I was taken into an inner bedroom, to another glowing +fire, around which were grouped a warm bath ready to step into, soft +hot towels, sponge and soap, and a complete set of my hostess's best +clothes, from a handsome black silk dress to shoes and stockings and a +pocket-handkerchief. In these I dined, and, retiring early, as she had +to do, found a smart nightgown, dressing-gown, and slippers toasting +by my fire. And I sank to rest between fine linen sheets, and slept +like a top until crowing cocks, within a few feet of me, proclaimed +the break of day. + +That day was Sunday, and G. had to preach at morning service some +eight or nine miles away. So we were early seated at a good breakfast, +and a light buggy and a pair of strong, fast horses were brought +round, to take us in good time to our destination. Our host himself +drove us, and incidentally taught us what Bush driving meant. I +remember how we made new roads for ourselves on the spur of the moment +to avoid bogs, and how gamely we battled through those that were +unavoidable; how we flew over the treacherous green levels that the +expert eye recognised as "rotten," where, had the horses been allowed +to pause for a moment, they would have sunk and stuck; and how finally +we dashed in style into the township and up to the parsonage-gate, +where a venerable archdeacon was anxiously looking for the curate whom +he had almost given up for lost. The church-bell had not yet begun to +ring. In fact, the family were still at breakfast when we arrived. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +THE FIRST HOME + + +We had to wait in lodgings for a few weeks, during which time we made +acquaintance with the place and people. + +Our lodgings were very comfortable. Sitting-room and bedroom, with a +door between, our other door opening upon a big plot of virgin bush, +alive with magpies, whose exquisite carolling in the early hours of +the day is the thing that I remember best. There is no bird-song in +the world so fresh and cheery. I seldom hear it now, but when I do I +am back again, in imagination, at breakfast near that open door, +drinking in the sweetness of the lovely September mornings which were +the morning of my life. Never had I known such air and sunshine, or +such health to enjoy them; and never do I feel so much an Australian +as when I go to the Bush again and am welcomed by that fluty note. The +spirit of happy youth is in it, and of those "good old times" which we +old colonists have so many reasons to regret to-day. No song of +English nightingale could strike deeper to my heart. + +Speaking of breakfast reminds me of the luxury we lived in, in respect +of food. Never was such a land of plenty as this was then, when no one +dreamed of butter and beef at what is their market rate this day. We +had young appetites, in fine order after the sea-voyage, and the more +we ate the better was our landlady pleased. It hurt her as a hostess +and housewife to have any dish neglected. And she simply stuffed us +with good things; the meal prepared for us two might have served +half-a-dozen, and given bilious attacks to all. One mistake only did +she make in the arrangement of her bill of fare--she gave us too many +quinces; apparently they were a superfluity in her garden, as they +have since been in nearly all of ours. At first they were a novel and +welcome delicacy, but when we had had them at every meal for weeks--in +jam, jelly, tart, pudding, and pie, with cream, with custard, with +bread and butter, and inlaid in sandwich cake--we were so thoroughly +sickened of them that neither of us have wanted to look at a quince +since. We have given the fruit away in sacksful to our neighbours, +season after season, all these thirty years, and not cooked one; just +lately--tempted by a brilliant carbuncle-hued jelly presented to me by +a gifted little cook in my family--I have suddenly re-acquired a taste +for it (which G. says will never happen to him), and now for the first +time we have no quinces in the garden. That is to say, we have +quinces--as also pears and almonds and other fruits--but the thieving +little town-boys that live around us steal everything before it is fit +to pluck. And I may here add, in regard to this sad fact, that when we +came to our town-house we found a notice-board up in the +orchard-paddock at the back, offering a reward of L5 for the +apprehension of "trespassers upon these premises." While it remained +up, there was always a policeman outside the fence. It was the joy of +our own school-boys to bamboozle him by scaling the fence at night or +in some surreptitious manner, pretending to be trespassers, and only +when they had given him all the trouble and satisfaction of +apprehending them, revealing their identity as sons of the house. But +I could not bear this board--such an anomaly in the colony, as I had +known it; I thought it horrible in any case, but on a clergyman's land +quite scandalous; and I did not rest until it was taken down. Now I +understand the meaning of it. No sooner was it gone than the policeman +disappeared for ever. And the thieving boys took, and keep, possession +of the place--at any rate, of the fruit; and of the flowers when they +fancy them, as occasionally they do. The fowls are locked up in their +house at night, and could defend themselves with audible squawks in +day-time. The back gate is also locked. But those young villains make +their own gates; they breach the defences by simply tearing down a few +palings, and pass through the hole. We mend it up, or hire a man to +mend it--more than the L5 of the reward must have gone in this +way--and next night they break it open again, or make another in an +easier place. Then quite calmly, and boldly they come in and out, sit +in the rifled and broken tree or on the top of the fence to munch +their spoil and "cheek" the poor maid who goes out to expostulate; +and, the once zealous policeman steadily holding aloof (he has been +appealed to for succour a dozen times in vain), we have no redress, +except when we take the law into our own hands, which is an +unprofitable proceeding. One of my ex-schoolboys administers justice +occasionally, in a fashion to bring irate parents, and threats of +summonses for assault about his ears, but he cannot be in two places +at once, and his long absences from this place are calculated upon. As +for Bob, the current house-dog, a fox-terrier of some intelligence, +he behaves like a perfect idiot in this case. He will bark furiously +at the boys when ordered to do so, but will neither initiate the chase +nor follow it up with effective action. My idea is that he takes them +for permanent members of the establishment. Or "boys will be boys," he +thinks. Or he has seen me bribe them to come and ask for fruit, +instead of stealing it. Anyway the result is that we have no fruit for +ourselves. Year after year we see our trees blossom and the young crop +set and swell, knowing we shall gather no harvest beyond a few hard, +half-grown pears, which can be stewed soft. If I want to make quince +jelly, as now I do, I must buy the quinces. + +But in the country there were no thieves--no locks and bars in use--no +need for the policeman. The only raiders of the orchards were the +birds, who had the right to tax us. + +That town of W----, where we spent the first year of our Australian +life, was a typical country-town of the better class, and at that +period very lively and prosperous. The railway afterwards drained it +of much of its local importance, which has only revived again in quite +recent times--since the fat lands about it have become studded with +dairy-farms and butter and tobacco factories, industries and +population which have contrived to hold their own here and there +against the crushing discouragements to which both are subjected. +Within the last few months it has been made the seat of a bishopric. + +We found a highly-civilised society. The police magistrate at the head +of it--always a P.M. was at the head in those days, in the +country-towns big enough to have one, and not only by virtue of his +official standing, but by every right of personal character and +culture, as a rule--was a (to me) surprisingly well bred as well as +kindly gentleman; and his wife was as nice as he. They gave bright +evening-parties, at which he played the flute with a delicate skill, +and he read largely and liked to talk of what he read; also he was an +exemplary husband and father. In the group of pleasant households his +was one of the most serenely pleasant, and so we felt it deeply when +one morning, a few months after our arrival, the news of his sudden +death was brought to us. He had risen that morning apparently in his +usual health, and was in his dressing-room, making his toilet and +chatting with his wife through the open door between them--she with a +baby a week or so old--when she heard him fall; he did not answer her +call to know what was the matter, and when she went to see she found +him dead upon the floor. The catastrophe left her with six little ones +to provide for, and next to nothing to do it with. The good husband +and father, taken without warning in his prime (of unsuspected heart +disease), had begun to make provision for the rainy day, but not +completed the task. However, with pupils and boarders and what not, +she made a splendid fight of it. The baby son did not long survive his +father, but the five daughters grew up to testify to her good +mothering and to reward her for it. They are now good mothers in their +turn, sharing her society between them. + +Next to the P.M. in the social scale came the doctors. There were two, +English gentlemen both. One had emigrated for adventure and the +goldfields, and spent good years seeking his fortune by short cuts, +but had been glad at last to return to his profession for a living. +He was courting a girl of exactly half his age when we came upon the +scene, and their wedding was the first smart function that we +attended. The other doctor and his wife were new arrivals from home, +like ourselves; they had landed but a month or two before us; and they +were our special and best-beloved companions and friends. Alas! he +too--one of the most delightful of men--died suddenly and dreadfully, +shortly before the death of the P.M., also leaving six mere babies and +a wife to whom he was perfectly devoted, as she to him. She came to +stay with me after the funeral, and the almost simultaneous birth of +my first child--the latter event hastened, it was thought, by the +shock and grief that I had shared with her. She was the most uncommon +woman I ever met, as she was one of the most adorable. Superficially, +both in face and figure, with the exception of her beautiful hands, +she was quite plain, and absolutely without trace of conscious +fascination or coquetry--the only instance I have known of a woman of +that sort being irresistible to every man she came across. The story +of her engagement, as told me by her husband, was exactly appropriate +to them both. He was leaving England for a foreign appointment, with +but a few days to spare, when a friend or relative--a high church +dignitary--wrote to beg a farewell visit, mentioning by way of special +inducement that a charming girl was staying in the house. The doctor +responded by falling in love with her on sight, in such a desperate +and successful manner that she married him within those few spare days +and accompanied him to his foreign appointment. Perfect love and bliss +had been their portion ever since; it was an ideal union. They had the +habit of driving up to our door, just as we were finishing dinner, +and calling us, one or both, to come out with them. The country was +new to us all, and we spent many of the evenings of our first summer +exploring it together. We made common cause as new chums, although +they were such citizens of the world as to feel at home anywhere. Even +the little ones in the nursery could put us to shame in respect of +their cosmopolitan experience. It filled me with envy to hear them +chattering their pretty baby French to their Swiss nurse. The mother +married again some years afterwards. And not a man of her acquaintance +but felt and said--as my own husband did--that the not-too-well-off +bachelor who saddled himself with the almost penniless widow and her +six children did by that act the best day's work for himself that he +had ever done or was likely to do. He, we have been told (for it is +many a year since she drifted out of our reach), followed the example +of his predecessor in marital behaviour--waiting on her hand and foot, +writing her letters and packing her trunks to save her trouble, and +generally worshipping the ground she walked on. That also is +considered matter of course. But I wonder how it is with her now? She +is living still, I hear. And she is considerably older than I am. + +Next to the doctors, the bankers--_i.e._, the officials of the four or +five banks which have branches in every town of any importance. The +managers are handsomely housed, and live in the best Bush-town style; +they are really the backbone of country society, it being to the +interest of their employers that they should be popular with their +constituents, as well as to a man's own interest to make life pleasant +in a place where he may be settled for many years. The smart young +bank clerks are the natural complement of the young Bush-town ladies, +whose brothers always go away; the clerks will be managers in time, +and meanwhile are essential to the upkeep of tennis clubs and the +success of balls and picnics. In W----, in 1870-1, the bank people +were of very good quality--one household in particular, the heads of +which belonged to two substantial colonial families of high repute +(which they still enjoy); the lady here was a charming woman and +hostess, famous in local circles for her pleasant parties, for which I +frequently needed the evening dresses that I had supposed would be +superfluous. Indeed, with one thing and another, I was gayer in that +first year of "missionary" life than I had ever been in England. + +There were bazaars and church teas and such things--quite as exciting +as the private functions--at which our circle of friends and +acquaintances was augmented by the leading tradesfolk, between whose +class and that conventionally supposed to be above them the line of +demarcation is always very thin, sometimes scarcely perceptible--and +properly so, in these isolated communities. I keep in affectionate +remembrance the wife of a stationer who was like a mother to me, the +wife of a general storekeeper who often sat with me when I was lonely +and needed looking after, and the wife of a chemist with whom I was in +particular sympathy at the time. We sewed baby-clothes together, she +and I, and the wearers of them arrived in this world within an hour of +each other. My beloved first-born died at five years old; his +birth-mate at about twelve, I think. The gate by which he went seemed +awful enough, but the passing of the poor little girl was too dreadful +for words. She was coming home from a visit one day in the charge of a +friend: the creeks were flooded that they had to cross, and one of +them swept away horse and buggy, and drowned the driver. He hooked his +little companion to a branch or snag sticking out of the swirl, before +leaving her, as it was supposed, to swim ashore for help; there she +clung through the whole of the long night, from early evening to +daylight next morning, and was then found--warm, the breath just gone, +not more, the doctor said, than a few minutes too late. And there were +people living about the spot who testified that they had heard her +crying in the night, without knowing what the sound meant! + +And as for the cottage people--the marked thing about them was that +they were not "the poor." There was none with whom a clergyman or his +wife could safely take the liberties so customary at home. When a +sister-in-law, once my fellow district-visitor, came out to be our +guest for awhile, and started to make herself useful by teaching our +parishioners their duty on the traditional lines and by bestowing +doles of old clothes and kitchen scraps upon them, she got some +tremendous surprises--"insolence" that simply staggered her. No, what +they loved was to bring us little presents of new-laid eggs or poultry +or what not, and to charge us less than they charged the laity for +what they did for us in the way of business. The whole attitude of +parishes and lay people in this country towards their spiritual +pastors is benevolent to a degree. The parental spirit, tolerant, +indulgent, making allowances (in more senses than one), is here on +their side. The schools teach their children for half fees; the +doctors doctor them for no fees at all; the very shipping +companies--some, at least--make special fares for them. And so long as +they accept this role of the lame dog that needs helping over the +stile, so long will there be that tinge of contempt and patronage +which embitters these favours to some of us who receive them. + +Coming straight from our dignified Cathedral life, with its high and +mighty Church-and-State traditions, into this democratic +Salem-Chapel-like atmosphere, we still found nothing to disagree with +us--only one circumstance excepted, for which neither the country nor +the parish was to blame. Pure loving-kindness and open-armed +hospitality to strangers surrounded us on all sides but one, and the +unexpected welcome went to our young hearts. The single disappointment +came from a quarter whence it was least expected. But, as to that, +bygones may be bygones at this time of day. I shall not tell tales. + +The absorbing joy, to start with, was the making of the first home. +The town was so well filled that it was a difficult matter to find a +house; we took the first possible one that offered, after waiting +several weeks for it. + +A large railway station now stands, and for many years has stood, upon +the site. Walking about the Bush in the vicinity, we used to find here +and there in the ground small pegs which we were informed were the +surveyors' marks for the line--the line which now runs all the way to +Sydney, and thence to Brisbane, but which was then but beginning to be +made. + +The spot was quite on the outskirts of the township, and we passed +from our premises straight into the Bush behind the house, which faced +some open waste ground, analogous to an English common of unusual +size, which divided us from streets and church. House, do I call it! +Three tiny rooms, opening one into the other, the first into the +outer air, a lean-to at the back, and a detached kitchen--that was +all. We paid one pound a week for it, which certainly was an excessive +rent for such a place. Excessive also were the wages we gave our first +servant, an amiable but inefficient Irish girl--fifteen shillings a +week. We were told that these were the ruling rates; if they were, +they did not long remain so. + +The landlord papered the front rooms for us--for those to be occupied +in day-time we chose from a local store an appropriate pattern of +brown _fleur-de-lys_ on a green ground; we papered the back ourselves. +I made the drugget and matting floor-coverings, the chintz curtains, +the dimity bed-furniture--made everything, in fact, that was sewable, +for, fortunately, I come of a long line of good needle-women. When I +remember the time-honoured theory that a writing person is no good for +anything else, I feel obliged, at the risk of appearing a braggart, to +parade the above fact. I take pride in announcing that I never hired a +sewing-woman--that, having made all my own clothes as a girl, even to +the wedding-gown, I made all my children's, until the boys grew beyond +their sailor suits, and the girl put her hair up. In fact, housework +has all along been the business of life; novels have been squeezed +into the odd times. It was many a long year before I had a +dress-maker's dress, or went to such lengths of luxury and +extravagance as to order carpets or curtains to be made for me. I have +even manufactured sofas, with G.'s assistance, he making the very +solid hardwood frames. We once had two beautiful ones, regular +Chesterfields, entirely home-made, in one of the several auction sales +that the distance between one home and the next have forced upon us; +there was quite a rush to buy them. Only when the purchasers attempted +to take them away, it was found almost impossible to lift them from +the ground. The feather bed that had cradled me on board ship--we had +two really, but the smaller one cradled servants for awhile--now took +its permanent place amongst the never-failing comforts of the house; I +broke it up into pillows and cushions, a few of which covered, like +charity, all the sins of amateur workmanship in our springless +couches. + +The room of our cottage that had the front door in it was the +sitting-room, of course. Here we dined in full view of the street--had +there been one--when summer evenings gave light enough; our doctor and +his wife, pulling up their horses before the house, could see for +themselves whether we were at the end of our meal or in the middle; I +would go out with an offer of pudding or coffee sometimes, but as a +rule I left everything and flew for hat and gloves. The room at the +other end was our bedroom. The little cubicle between combined +dressing-room and study. There was not space to swing a cat in any of +them, had we wanted to swing a cat. There certainly was no room to +swing the cradle, when that article of furniture was introduced; +fortunately, we did not want to swing that either. We did not believe +in rockers, and made a great virtue of necessity when we took them +off. + +But after all, humble as it was, it was a sweet little place when we +had fixed it up. Bishop and Mrs Perry, paying us their first call, +were enthusiastic about it. They had been making a long tour from +country parsonage to country parsonage, which, notwithstanding the +benevolence of parishioners, are as a rule struggling homes, "shabby +genteel," in their appointments; and this bright, simple, tidy +(though I say it that shouldn't) little toy dwelling was, to use their +own word, an "oasis" amongst them. One truth that I have learned from +my manifold domestic vicissitudes is that you can make a nice home out +of anything, if you choose to try. You do not really want all the +things that you are brought up to think you want. Sometimes it is even +a relief to be without them. + + + + +CHAPTER V + +DIK + + +All my recollections of the first home, and the one succeeding it, +embrace the figure of a friend who was virtually of the family while +we lived in them. He has so long been dead that I may with propriety +refer to him more fully than I can speak of his contemporaries yet +living, and it is a particular pleasure to do so in view of his +nationality and of the times in which I write. For he was a +Dutchman--and everything, almost, that a man should be. If he did no +good for himself in Australia--his birth and training were against +that--he did much for his country within the compass of his little +sphere. He gave some of us a faith in and a respect for it that +nothing in the South African struggle has been able to impair. I have +been British throughout the war to the marrow of my bones, but in the +worst of times have had to bear in mind that our veldt foe comes of +the stock which produced that perfect gentleman. I have not otherwise +compared them, but I can never think meanly of any Dutchman after +knowing him. + +He joined our ship in London, and during the voyage we noticed that he +was a lonely traveller, silent and sitting by himself. We therefore +made little overtures, thinking to cheer him for the moment, and not +foreseeing what they would lead to. G. played chess with him a good +deal; when I was well enough to join them I undertook the difficult +but interesting task of drawing him out of his shell, where his +thoughts were. Although we learned from him that a knowledge of the +English language was imperative in Holland amongst cultured people, it +needed friendship to cast out of him the fear of making himself +ridiculous by his manner of speaking it, which certainly was quaint. +Without protestations on either side, friendship was established, and +then he talked, and did not mind our laughing at him. We instructed +him in our idioms and customs, and he us in his; some of the Dutch +names for things that we learned from him are in domestic use to this +day. I cannot remember that he overcame his sensitive reserve in +respect of any other passenger, unless in the case of a childless +married lady who was accompanied by her pet cat and dog. Pussy lived +with her and her husband in their cabin, where the arrangements for +its accommodation, and the cat's own intelligent adaptation to them, +were so wonderful that it caused no annoyance either to them or us; +the dog, for whom a high passage fare had been paid, spent his nights +somewhere under the care of the butcher, but his days with his devoted +mistress. Dogs were a passion with our friend, and there was soon an +affectionate understanding between him and this one. He got permission +to give it lessons, and at stated times went off with it under his arm +to his own cabin, where they would be closeted together for an hour or +two. Not a sound would we hear of what went on, but at intervals there +was a public performance by the pupil, which, eye to eye with its +teacher, would go through tricks and evolutions that a circus dog +might envy. This was the only instance I can recall of social +intercourse on his part with anyone on board, save us. + +He was intensely proud, with a temper behind his pride that could +never be safely played with, even by his familiar housemates; life +itself was a trifle compared with any point of honour in his code--to +be given in its defence, if need were, without an instant's +hesitation; but there was not a trace of false pride in the whole warp +and woof of him. This, however, goes without saying, since I have +already said that he was at all points a gentleman. + +And, back of his reserve and pride, which wore so cold and stolid an +air, was a heart like a shut furnace. Rarely did the flame shine +through his grave eyes, but it did when the moment of threatened +parting came. "Tell me where you live," he said, as if asking for his +life; "I must live there." + +As soon as we knew, we told him, and a week after our arrival at W---- +he turned up, together with a pair of beautiful (and very expensive) +dogs. He boarded at the hotel, and came to us every day. And, so far +as Australia was concerned, we were his family, and our house his +home, thenceforth. + +His name was Diederik, which we shortened to Dik. His other name was +not undistinguished in his own country, as we learned from his family +photographs and the casual but complete evidence provided by the +conditions of our joint domestic life--not by direct statement from +him, the most modest of men. The picture of his home in Leyden showed +a beautiful old house on a tree-bordered canal; in this house, it +seemed, each member of the large family had his or her suite of rooms +and separate personal servant. "This is a brother of me," he would +say, as we turned over his album; and questions would elicit the fact +that the person indicated held a court appointment at the Hague. +Another "brother of me" filled an important post in the Dutch East +Indies; he was governor--kontroleur 1st klasse--of Riouw. Dik was a +younger son, born with that bent for wandering which is not confined +to any class or nation. And his equipment for the enterprise to which +he had committed himself was almost ludicrously elaborate. He had a +perfect arsenal of deadly weapons--for the native savages and wild +beasts, I suppose. Guns and small arms of all sorts and sizes, the +finest of their kind, with tons of ammunition to match, enough to +furnish forth a small regiment. I still have a stumpy little +six-chambered revolver, which he insisted on my keeping by me, in case +I should be molested while alone in the house; and I ought to have +also a beautiful inlaid hair-trigger pistol, which was the instrument +with which he taught me the art of self-defence. Daily he would call +me from my sewing or cooking to shoot bottles off the yard fence, +until my execution upon ounce phials satisfied him that I was able to +protect myself from the marauding black or bushranger. He had a +tool-chest which contained every tool, and large sets of most of them, +that handicraftsman could need under any circumstances--even to a +turning-lathe, with which, and a great hunk of ivory tusk, he used to +make me buttons and sleeve-studs. As for "hempjes" and such things, +they were in dozens upon dozens. And all that costly outfit to be so +soon disintegrated and dispersed! + +The first thing he did at W---- was to help us into our cottage, +himself inheriting our lodgings and the quinces from us. How useful he +was! Until I had a maid--the last piece of furniture procured--he was +up o' mornings to chop wood, draw water, boil kettles, and so on; and +all day he was on the look-out for a job, the more menial the better. +Tears, even now, are not far from my eyes when I open my old diary +upon such items as these:--"October 31st. Dik beginning to make a +garden for me." ... "December 7th. Dik up in the dark to catch fish +for breakfast." ... "December 8th. Dik up early again to get me fish." +Whenever he was at home this sort of thing went on, and all without +the slightest fuss or gush, and with a frown for thanks. When there +came the prospect of a most important domestic event, we had every +reason to flatter ourselves that he had not the dimmest notion of it, +from first to last. I made every scrap of baby-clothes myself, and he, +being so constantly with us, must have seen me doing it; in fact, I +abandoned the usual precautions just because he seemed too utterly +dense to notice anything. He was nothing of the sort. It was part of +his perfect gentlemanliness not by word or sign to show that he knew, +even in his private talks with my husband, otherwise the talk of +brothers. One evening he left for his lodgings, as usual, and the +great business was comfortably disposed of before the hour of his +return in the morning. G. and I, in the midst of our excitements, +found a moment to laugh together over the tremendous shock of surprise +that we were going to give him. But lo! when he came he manifested no +surprise--only quite broke down in trying to express his thankfulness +that it was safely over. He was brought in to peep at the new +arrival, and I felt like a scoffer at sacred things to have met with a +jest that smileless and speechless emotion. On leaving my room, he +dashed for his horse, tied to the front gate, and galloped off towards +the town; thence in a few minutes he returned, bearing as his offering +to the new master of the house a wicker cradle on the saddle before +him! He must have looked a ridiculous object, but was lifted above all +care for the opinion of the street. That was the cradle I had to wedge +into such a tight place that rockers were no use to it. Later it was +his joy to nurse the little one, to watch his first movements of +intelligence, and speculate as to what period "his nose would come +downstairs." + +I ought to mention here that his attitude towards women was one of +austerest respect and dignity. I shall never forget the blackness of +his brow and mood when we returned one night from a day's outing, +having left him to keep house for us. It appeared that our Irish maid +had taken advantage of the opportunity to make tender overtures to +him. She had come behind him as he was reading and smoking, stroked +his hair, and addressed him as a "poor feller." I was not supposed to +know anything of this, but got the tale from G., and was thus able to +take steps to prevent such assaults in future. To me, for whom he had +so deep a regard, Dik was a brother, without ever using a brother's +familiarities. No man ever treated me with such absolute reverence and +respect. + +Between the 30th of that first October, when he was making me a road +through the "common" that the continued rains had turned into a +swamp, and the 7th of December, when he went a-fishing for my +breakfast, he made a start upon his own Australian career--the bright +beginning that declined to so sad an end. By no fault of his, poor +boy! unless his breeding was his fault. He was young and +strong--immensely strong--the typical big-limbed, burly Dutchman, +eager to work and to rough it, afraid of nothing; he simply failed as +I have seen dozens of young men of good family fail--as they all do, +if I may judge by my own experience--who come out to make their +fortunes under the same conditions. Had he been a skilled mechanic, he +would have found his luck immediately; had he been prepared to pay his +premium as a "jackaroo"--_i.e._ an apprentice to the run-holder, who +charged L100 a year or so for imparting "colonial experience"--he +would have been taken into one of those delightful Bush-houses that I +have mentioned, and might have risen (without capital) to be a station +manager. But as an amateur who did not know the ropes, his ideas of +the situation gathered from books or evolved from his inner +consciousness, Dik fared as I shall describe. I give his case because, +in its way, it is so distinctly characteristic of the country, and as +such may be instructive to the English reader. + +Having received ourselves such extraordinary kindness and attentions +from the squatter families of our parish (hundreds of miles in area), +we thought it an easy thing to make interest for our friend; and so it +proved--to a certain extent, which did not go beyond the rough +regulations of the Bush, not yet grasped by such new chums as we. An +old squatter accepted our guarantee for Dik, and told us to send him +along. It was the busy shearing-season, when odd hands were required. +Joyfully we took home our news. Hopefully we borrowed a buggy, and +ourselves drove him to the house of that old squatter, nursing-father +that we imagined him. It was so far that we stayed the night, and we +thought it odd to lose sight of Dik as soon as we arrived, and not to +see him again to say good-bye; but we came away under the impression +that, when not out on the run, he would be treated by the house as it +treated us. + +He left W---- on the 10th of November. On the night of the 19th he +rode back, departing at dawn on the 21st, which means that he spent +Sunday, his free day, with us. He was invisible for a time, while G. +got him a bath and clean linen, and when he appeared he was taciturn +and depressed, loth to talk of his experiences, which had evidently +been a shock to him. Of course he had been sent to live at the "men's +hut" amongst the all-sorts that at shearing season crowd that +unsavoury abode. It was his place, but he had not known it; nor had +we; and I for one was furious at the outrage, as I considered it, that +had been put upon him. He had had fights, it appeared, with the lowest +of the low--possibly decent work fellows, who had not understood him; +he had come through personal foulnesses not to be mentioned in ladies' +company. G. told me all about it afterwards. + +On the 26th that job was done. He returned to us like a released +convict, and we made much of him for a time. This would not do, +however, and again he sought for employment. One night, in a fit of +desperation at the delay in finding it, he took a sudden resolution to +go out into the Bush, with a swag on his saddle, and ask for work from +station to station, resigned to the men's hut--to anything. I remember +my feelings as I saw him start in the moonlight, just before I went to +my own comfortable bed. He was going to ride all the cool night, and +take his rest in the fiery day; for it was December now, and horses +and dogs were as children to Dik. By the way, he left his dogs with us +while on these expeditions. Their puppy exuberance got us into many +scrapes, although I do not believe that all the tattered fowls brought +to us by our neighbours, with hints that we should make their +excessive value good, came by their deaths as we were told they did. +Otherwise the keep of the playful creatures cost little or nothing, +because they were fed mainly upon opossums. Nightly, after dinner, the +gun or guns were taken out, and I don't know which enjoyed the +expedition most, the sportsmen or the dogs. There were 'possums in +every tree in those days, and Dik and G. were both good marksmen. When +too dark to distinguish 'possum or gun-barrel, they tied a white +handkerchief round the muzzle of the latter and located the former +(already approximately located by the dogs) with the stable-lantern +usually held up by me. An artificial light not only fascinates but +paralyses the little animal, draws him like a magnet, and then holds +him rigid, his large, liquid eyes fixed upon it, so that he is as +steady to shoot at as a target at the butts. Under those circumstances +he seems completely indifferent to his shrieking enemies at the foot +of the tree, ready to tear him in pieces the moment his limp body +thuds down to them. Although our valuable pair flourished upon it, I +am horrified now to think of feeding dogs upon such meat. Well, we +could not do it now, if we wanted to. At that time 'possums were +vermin to the white man, pests of the fruit garden (though we never +found them eating fruit, but only leaves), like the parrots and +minahs, from whom nothing was sacred. Not that they could have +troubled us, for all the fruit we had was a double row of peach trees +down one side of our back paddock. We had peaches of the finest +quality literally in tons--and nothing else. In their season I would +peel the flannel jackets from half a dozen before breakfast, and go on +eating them at intervals all day (whereby I destroyed my taste for +peaches, as it had already been destroyed for quinces, for the rest of +my life); and the ground was so cumbered with them that we were +grateful to the neighbours who came with buckets and wheelbarrows to +get them for their pigs. The railway absorbed the peach trees with the +cottage, and I buy peaches at the door to-day at a shilling the +plateful. And the opossum seems in a fair way to become extinct--at +any rate, in this state. + +I still go, almost yearly, to rest from town life a a station in the +neighbourhood of W----. The house--one of the first English-style +houses in the district--is the same that it was thirty years ago, +except that its red walls are mellower and its girdle of choice trees +more grown and beautiful; and the dear family is the same, only the +young ones now the elders, and a new generation in their place. On a +late visit they drove me to W----, some eighteen or twenty miles +distant; strange to say, it was the first time I had been into the +town since those early days of which I am talking, although I had +passed it many times on the railway; and we started on our journey +home in a soft twilight, prelude to a clear, faintly-moonlit +night--such a night as, thirty years earlier, would have shown us an +opossum in nearly every tree we drove by. It was country road or +bush-track all the way, and "Now, surely," I said, "I shall have the +long-desired pleasure of seeing a 'possum again." I settled down into +my front seat of the waggonette, laid my head back, and watched and +watched for little ears sticking up, and bushy tails hanging down, +which I should have been so quick to distinguish if they had been +there. Not a hair--not a sign that a 'possum had ever lived in the +land--all those lonely miles! + +But a few nights afterwards I had my wish in rather a strange way. +Being sleepless, I lit a candle at twelve or one o'clock, and tried to +tranquillise myself with a book. The candle made a little halo about +the bed, but left the rest of the room dim. One window was wide open, +as I always had it; an armchair, with a cushion in its back, stood +near the window. I heard no sound, but suddenly had that curious +feeling of fright which precedes the discovery of the thing that +frightens you; and, looking up, I saw two eyes, terrifyingly intense +in their expression, glowing and glaring at me from the armchair. The +thing crouched upon the top of the cushion, quite still, as if it had +been there for hours. I thought it was a cat, and shooed and slapped +my book; when it made no response to these manifestations, I knew it +was an oppossum. The candle-light outside had lured him to its source, +and he now sat lost in contemplation of the magic flame. I got out of +bed and ran window-wards, in the greatest haste to be rid of the +creature I had so long wished to see; he crawled cringingly an inch or +two, but I had to push him with the edge of my book off the cushion +and the window-sill and out into the night. I could not imagine how he +had got in, for my room was in an upper storey of the tall old house, +the roof of the verandah some distance below; but, looking out in the +morning, I saw that a course of brickwork, just about wide enough for +a mouse, ran along the face of the wall, not far from the window, and +that a great white cedar tree stood close to one end of it. I boasted +at breakfast that I had seen a 'possum at last, but I am careful now, +when I sleep in that room, not to burn a midnight candle with the +window open. + +To return to Dik. On the 18th he came back to tell us he had found a +job. I do not remember what it was, but it is recorded in my diary +that we had a gala dinner in honour of it. He returned again before +breakfast on Christmas Day. G. had distant country services afternoon +and evening, and the three of us went together and made a picnic of +it, keeping our domestic festival for Boxing Day, in the night of +which Dik left us, while we slept. But on the 28th of January that job +also came to an end--not from any fault of his, but just because it +was a little one and he had finished it. The neighbourhood was +searched again, and he went work-hunting into New South Wales with no +success. He had long ago sold his horse, and now he began to sell his +other things--guns, tool-chest, lathe, non-essential clothes--throwing +them away one after the other, for a mere song, in spite of our +remonstrances. He left his lodgings for cheaper ones; later on we +persuaded him to exchange these for a shakedown with us; but he was +too proud to owe us bed and board, and only stayed in the brief +intervals between his futile tramps, when he knew we should be cut to +the heart if he did not. It came to broken boots and ever-increasing +shabbiness, to the shunning and slighting of him by persons who were +not worthy to be named in the same breath with him, to his growing +gaunt for want of sufficient food. "This in your hospitable +Australia!" the reader may exclaim. Yes, indeed; and he is not the +only one I have seen thus circumstanced, by many--only the others were +mostly getting their deserts, which he was not. + +One night a mysterious message was brought to G., who slipped out of +the house in answer to it. It transpired later that Dik was lurking in +the vicinity wanting to know if there were any letters for him. He had +sent word secretly to G., not wishing me to know, because he was "not +fit to see her any more." Of course, I was not going to stand that. We +dragged him in, gave him a bath and clothes, fed him and talked to +him--scolded him well, indeed, for his obstinate refusal to write to +his father, a course that we had urged upon him until we were tired of +the hopeless conflict with his preposterous pride. + +However, he melted at last--that very night, I think. His confession +was made and posted, and all we had to do was to hold on until the +answer arrived. As it chanced, the only serious accident that I can +remember happening to a P. and O. steamer on the Australian line +(prior to the wreck of the _China_) happened to the one that had his +money on board. Her letters were recovered from the sea-bed, but not +in time to be of use to us; so there was yet another long delay. But +eventually all came right. His empty pockets were filled once more, +and a new career provided for him. He was to go to his brother in the +Dutch East Indies, and become a planter of something. + +The change was so great and sudden that he did not all at once "know +how he had it with himself," to use his own phrase. He wrote to us +from Melbourne before he sailed (April 20th, 1872):--"You know me +enough for being a bad hand in making speeches. What I want to let you +feel is"--and he made a very touching one upon the subject of our +friendship for him. Then he mentioned his state of mind. "The time +passes quick away. At day-time I have plenty to do, and in the evening +I am in the opera, what makes me a little jolly, but yet there is a +kind of stupidity about me. I don't know what it is." From Galle he +wrote at length, and with his old ease, describing his voyage in +detail, and his fellow-passengers, of whom one was a wholesome +annoyance to him. "When you are talking with somebody he always will +put his nose between it, and the rest of the day he whistle tunes out +of operas." In Ceylon he made a sporting expedition into the country, +and "after you have seen so long the miserable Bush of Australia is +this beautiful." He had some delightful shooting, in spite of the fact +that, in consequence of having cut his feet against a "coral riff" +while swimming, "the only way I could go shooting was on a pair of +slippers." Then, with the Dutch mail from Singapore to Batavia:--"it +was very pleasant for me, as you understand, to hear the Dutch again. +Everything was so as it was at home, no more puddings on table, but +delicious vegetables, and the bitterjes like the home ones." And he +had once more that first thing necessary to a happy life, his dog; not +one of those mentioned, which remained with us, but a new one. On +landing at Batavia, "I give my hondtje a walk. This is a beautiful +creature, and came all the way good over. From Melbourne to Singapore +was it expensive. I had to pay five pounds for him." Here he met +Leyden friends, with whom he "passed the time jolly," and who led him +to a place where he "had to get a ticket to be able to stop in this +country;" and "the last days," he writes, "I feel me quite different, +more as I was at home, surely in better spirits as on our road to +Melbourne." + +His brother shepherded him for a short time--took him to a place or +two, from which, when they left, were "fired from shore canons"--but, +unfortunately, the resident was ordered home by his doctor, and Dik +was left once more to his own guidance. He presently reported himself +from Deli, where he was learning the business of a "nutmace" planter. +But his teacher, he was sorry to say, had turned out an "offel snob," +and he (Dik) had "little to make with him. I have my room and +everything I want and pay him monthly, and when he is in a bad humour +he can go his way and don't talk to him." When this gentleman "used +one of his rough expressions to me," wrote Dik, "I got offel angry"--I +can imagine it!--"and told him if he did so again he would know me +better. You understand a fellow who stand that in his own house what +he is. So you see I am not all right yet. But I am practising +patience, fine thing, but offel tiresome." Incidentally he remarks, "I +see you think I am sitting on Java, but am a good distance away from +there;" and he gives much interesting information about Dutch colonial +government and customs, which I have not space to reproduce. He wishes +he had an Australian horse again. "These little things I am tired of; +they are very pretty, but I am too heavy for them." He promises me a +tiger skin, and mentions the ever-to-be-regretted fact that he had +found "no occasion" to have his likeness taken. + +The next letter (Deli, March 20th, 1873) was all unclouded joy. He had +left "that fellow" and was now "as jolly as possible," settled down in +partnership with four other gentlemen of his own class, one Dutch and +three English--"so you see there is no fear I will forget my English +the first time." They had 250 "culies." "I have a field where 100 are +working, and go there and see them work every day, with Victor my dog, +named after Victoria ... so you see at last I come to a good place, +and hope to stick to this ... if I don't get along will be my own +fault." + +Glad indeed were we to read those words! We wrote to tell him so. And +the letter containing our congratulations came back to us long months +afterwards, with this message scrawled across the envelope:--"Dead. Mr +van K---- died in Deli." + +The last document of the little bundle from which these extracts are +taken is as graceful a piece of composition as was ever penned. The +handwriting is Dutch, but the words are English, and I have never read +an English letter that was more faultlessly expressed. It is his +family's acknowledgment of what we did--little enough, but made much +of in his home letters--for their beloved son, "to support his +energies in his days of trial." From this we learned that he had been +"seized with typhus fever, to which he succumbed on the 4th of June +1873, after ten or twelve days' illness." + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +THE SECOND HOME + + +On the 26th of July 1871 we moved into our second home--not more than +a mile or so from the first--Dik again helping us. The chance to get a +little more breathing-space and elbow-room, much needed since we had +become a family, fell to us through the death of our friend the police +magistrate. That sad event left his widow with means too small to +permit of her retaining her pretty home for a day after she was able +to leave it. We took it from her, and lived in it for about four +months--until G. was appointed to his first parish; after which our +house was provided for us, with no rent to pay any more. + +Distance lends enchantment to it, of course, but it is impossible that +"Como" could have been other than charming, with its then +surroundings. It had been the dwelling of two police magistrates, and +the first and longest occupier had made the place, while his wife had +been a gardener. My journal reeks of that garden. In the prime of the +spring season (October 12th) there is an entry which credits it with +"innumerable varieties of everything," including, naturally, "roses +all over the house" and "our own asparagus for dinner every other +day." The (even then) old house, masked with shrubs and hedges, +surrounded by beds and borders full of sweets, turned its face upon a +wooded paddock, through which a path led out to the road; the ground +behind fell steeply to the "lake" so ambitiously named--a large +backwater of the river, preserved by the landlord (who allowed only +himself and his tenant to shoot over it), and therefore the sanctuary +of native aquatic fowl. + +That lake was the region of romance to me. The sunrises out of its +mists and shimmers, the moonbeams on its breast at night, that I used +to step out upon the terrace-like verandah to feast upon--they are +pictures of memory that can never fade. Flocks of black swans used to +sail past the kitchen door within reach not of a stone, but of a +potatoe peeling; early and late the air was full of the quick beat and +rush of wings--wild duck in hundreds and thousands going out or coming +home. They quacked and scuffled in the thick reeds at night, as we +walked near them. The two sportsmen could not resist the temptation to +shoot more than we could eat. I have it down in my diary that on the +28th of July 1871 G. killed three teal with one shot. I saw it done, +and it was no great feat, seeing that the little birds were so thick +that their flight at the moment was like the flutter of silver cloth. +In that watery time the lake was generally brimming. One night we were +called up by the bellowing of the cow, and Dik and G. rode naked into +the inclosure where her calf had been submerged to its nose by a +sudden rise; they were only just in time to save it. We had a roomy +boat, in almost constant use. A friend or two would come out to dine, +and after dinner we would paddle them about in the moonlight--explore +the "North-West Passage," which reminded me of a "fleet" in the +Broads at home. We fished sometimes for next day's breakfast; I +believe they were catfish and other coarse things, but we seem to have +eaten them contentedly; I remember how we used to light a candle to +see to bait our hooks. And it was, of course, a very paradise for +'possums. So near the water they swarmed--water being no less +attractive to trees, which crowd upon it wherever they can find +footing. Under the trees around Como we and the dogs enjoyed such +'possum hunts as we never had elsewhere. It was mostly dark, and on +warm nights dangerous--though we never thought of that--snakes being +as partial to the water-side as 'possums and trees; many an one did we +encounter when looking for something else, and we have seen them +undulating in mid-stream like miniature sea-serpents. + +But a greater danger than snakes attended these expeditions, as we +discovered on a certain night (August 28th). The sportsmen were too +well trained to be careless with firearms, but when you carry them in +the dark through a thicket of saplings and stumps and prostrate logs, +accidents are liable to happen. On this night we were proceeding +Indian file, Dik leading, I next, G. protecting my rear, when Dik's +gun, carried muzzle down, touched an invisible snag, which jerked it +from his arm. In falling forward the trigger was struck or jagged with +sufficient force to explode the charge. I saw down the barrel as the +flame leaped out, apparently at my breast; and then we all stood still +for some seconds, expecting horrors. When nothing more happened, and +each was proved unhurt, we returned home very soberly, Dik himself +much shaken. I then went to my room, took off the thick shawl in which +I had wrapped myself against the night air, and held it up before a +light. It was riddled with little holes. I took it back to the +sitting-room, and spread it between Dik's eyes and the lamp, and made +some joke about his having tried to kill me. I never joked that way +again. He could not have felt it more deeply if he had really injured +me and done so on purpose. I don't think he ever got over it. + +It was at Como that I had my first private snake adventure. I was +giving my baby an airing in the garden when a call from the +maid-of-all-work sent me hurrying into the backyard. A deadly +six-footer (carefully measured afterwards) sat upon a few rings of its +tail near the wall of the little dairy--a most enticing place to +snakes--the rest of its body upreared to about the level of my waist, +its head, with the flickering tongue, distractedly darting to and fro. +I often worried about snakes when I could not see them; having this +one in the open before me, I was not in the least afraid of it. + +"You keep it there," said the girl--for there was no man on the place +at the time--"while I go and get the clothes' prop." + +For some minutes I stood within a few feet of it, the baby in my arms, +cutting it off from its lakeside lair; and it must have been my +formidable calmness which kept it from flinging itself upon me, as I +have seen other snakes do when thus desperately at bay, although they +will always wriggle out of a difficulty if a loop-hole is left to +them. We killed it with the clothes' prop and put it under an inverted +wash-tub, whence I proudly drew it in the evening when the doctor came +to dinner. I gave him the history of the execution, and he read me a +serious lecture. I promised him never to "hold up" a cornered snake +again. + +But if I let myself go with snake stories I shall not know where to +stop, so I will only tell one more, which has some features out of the +common. This snake lived in the church of G.'s first parish. Its hole +was visible to the congregation, and it used to show its head to them +in service time (during the sermon, probably) and make them nervous. +So it was sought to entice it to its destruction with saucers of milk. +The parson used to lay the bait over-night, and go to look for results +in the morning. Always the saucer was found empty, but for a long time +the snake was not found. At last he saw it coiled asleep upon the +white cloth laid over the chancel carpet, where the sun from the east +window poured warmly down upon it. So he hewed it in pieces before the +altar, as Samuel hewed Agag. + +What alarmed me much more, though with less cause, than snakes were +the blacks, which at that time wandered into one's life as they never +did afterwards. Some remnants of the river tribes remained about their +old haunts, apparently in their old state of independence. I had seen +them from the deck of the steamer, squatting on the banks in their +'possum skins, or fishing naked from a boat that was simply a sheet of +bark as torn from the tree; in W---- they trailed about the streets in +some of the garments of civilisation, grinning amiably at the white +residents, on the look-out for any trifles of tobacco or coppers that +a kindly eye might give hope of. They are hideous creatures, poor +things, and their attempts at European costume did not improve their +appearance. The most extraordinary human figure that I ever saw was a +black gin in a bird-cage crinoline. She had something else on, but not +much--only what would drape a small part of the lattice-work of steels +and tapes, through which her broad-footed spindle legs were visible, +strutting proudly. When I, being alone in the house, saw a black +fellow evidently making for it, I used to think of all the horrible +tales I had read in missionary magazines as a child, and wonder where +Dik's revolver was. He only wanted bacca, or an old rag of clothes, or +a penny, or a bit of meat--bacca first, always; and there was nothing +savage about him except his looks. Some of the stations in that +district made a point of protecting and showing kindness to the +blacks. On these they made their camps, and swarmed like the dogs +about the homesteads, bringing offerings of fish, and receiving all +sorts of indulgences in return. I visited at the one of those places +which was most notoriously benevolent in this direction. The gins +whose husbands had used the waddy to them used to come to the house to +have their wounds plastered; the nursing mothers got milk and other +privileges; some of the least lazy and dirty young ones were put into +the family's cast-off clothes and taken into a sort of service--given +little jobs of dish-washing and wood-chopping, for which they were +overpaid in such luxuries as they most valued. I was deeply interested +in seeing them at such close quarters, and studying their strange +habits and customs; it was a valuable and picturesque experience. But +there was not a lock or bolt on any door, and a half-witted black +woman who was a particular pet used to roam into my bedroom in the +middle of the night, to examine me, my baby, my clothes, my trinkets +on the dressing-table--which was too much of a good thing. When I +hinted as much to the hospitable family, they used to say easily, +"Oh, she's quite harmless." But I never could get used to it. After +leaving W---- I saw little more of these disinherited ones, until many +years later a few visited us in the Western District. These were +refugees or escapees from a neighbouring Mission Settlement. Theirs +was a tale of tyranny and injustice to melt a heart of stone. They had +been compelled to sing and pray without getting any remuneration for +it. "Not a farden!" said one black man, solemnly, with a dramatic lift +and fall of the hands. "Not a farden!" I remember wondering how he had +come by the phrase, since I do not recollect ever seeing a farthing in +this country. The Australian despises a coin so petty. He treats it as +though it were not in the currency. To be sure, the tradesman charges +elevenpence three-farthings for many things, but an odd farthing on +the total of his bill always becomes a halfpenny. + +It was while living at Como that I "went to town" for the first and +last time in many years. There is a gap in my diary where the +happenings of November and December (1871) should have included this, +but memory easily retains the correct impression of such a sharply-cut +event. + +We made the trip in a ramshackle little open buggy, consisting of a +floor and two movable seats--a most useful country vehicle, upon which +you could cart firewood or potatoes, when it was not wanted to cart +human beings. We took a girl friend with us (the baby was left with +the visiting sister-in-law), and our three portmanteaux; and one poor +horse managed the journey in four or five days. We jogged along +easily, as near the making railway as we could get, because the scrub +had been cleared from that track more or less; camping in the shade +at mid-day to lunch and rest the horse, and putting up for the night +in a convenient township, taking our chances in the way of hotel +accommodation, which was of all sorts. Rarely could we bring ourselves +to make full use of the beds provided for us; we slept, as a rule, +outside of them, in blankets of our own improvising. + +When not far from Melbourne we fell in, towards evening, with the most +ferocious thunder-storm of my experience--and that is saying a great +deal. All we could do was to get ourselves and the horse away from the +trees and the buggy, over the tyres and metal work of which the +lightning ran like lighted spirit, and then stand doggedly--the horse +with head and tail between his legs, we three tightly clasped +together, our faces turned inward and hidden--and silently endure +until the fury of the elements was past. When it was passed, and we +drove drenched and dripping to the nearest hotel, which fussed over us +with fires and hot drinks, it was found that my little portmanteau +(frocks folded close in those days) had been put into the buggy that +morning wrong side up. The deluging rain, running inside the flap, had +saturated all my best clothes! My wedding-dress was done for; my next +best gory all over with the dye from cerise ribbons that had lain next +it; muslins and laces a flimsy pulp. And the ruin was irremediable, +except in the case of the latter (I sent the two silks to be dyed +black, and they were returned after some months stiff and crackly, so +obviously dyed that they were no use as frocks again). Literally, I +had not a stitch to wear. My companion lent me clothes while my +travelling things were drying, and when I got to Melbourne I could +hardly put my nose out of doors. Instead of enjoying myself with my +friends, I had to scheme to hide myself from them--the only thing to +be done, since I could not afford to repair my losses on the spot. As +soon as G. had done his necessary business, we turned round and came +home again. + +We brought back with us the widow of that police magistrate who had +dropped dead in his dressing-room at Como, and her baby. And we had +the hottest of midsummer weather, and the fiercest of north winds. The +tracks were deep in dust like sea-shore sand; our faces were skinned +with the sun; we wilted on the hard buggy seats under our useless +umbrellas; the poor horse gave up, and had to be left by the way. But +all our concern was for the unfortunate infant. Whenever we came to +sheltered water we used to get down and lay him in; we carried bottles +of it with us to pour over him as we drove. We spent one night in a +red-hot corrugated-iron hotel, and his mother and I sat up through the +whole of it, taking turns at sponging him. He came through safely, +although she lost him afterwards--her only son. + +That abortive expedition was, as I have said, the last I made to +Melbourne for a very long time. The Bush "township" became my world. +When I speak of the Bush, it is understood that I do not mean a place +of bushes. The term, with us, is equivalent to "the country"--the +country generally, though particularly and originally its uncultivated +parts. "The miserable Bush of Australia," poor Dik called it, and it +has that character with many, I know; but--save, perhaps, at the first +glance--it never struck me that way. In the exquisite lights, the +clear distances, the fine atmosphere of this climate, Nature has to +be beautiful, whatever she wears. I love her in this grey-green +gown--and I have been a bushwoman for twenty-three years in all. The +trouble is, of course, that man, who does not live by bread alone, +lives still less on scenery. + +We did not really settle down in W----. Life there was difficult and +worrying on the professional side, and with every passing week we +longed more to extricate ourselves from a position that we had seen at +the beginning to be without promise of comfort or success. But on the +social, the secular, side, we had nothing to complain of. We had not +begun to miss the things we were cut off from, and the new experiences +were delightful. So also with the domestic conditions. It was here +that I mastered the rudiments of Bush housekeeping, and no lessons +were ever more interesting. + +I may say, at once, of my Bush life that, from the housekeeper's point +of view, it has been full of comfort--always. This is, I suppose, +chiefly because I have never had that servant trouble which seems to +keep families in general in constant distress and turmoil. The Irish +girl who took liberties with Dik was otherwise a willing and likeable +person; the vinegary widow who followed her, and who, being the mother +of a boy of twelve, made me put her down in the census paper as aged +twenty-five, would have been considered an excellent servant in the +most proper English household; and so would her successor, a smart +lady who went to church o' Sundays in silks and velvets, and drank all +our spirituous liquors that she could lay her hands on. And these were +the slight, very slight, mistakes at the beginning. Since then I have +had virtually unbroken peace. I have never had to "look for a girl," +never been to a registry office, never wanted for the best. And I +have never yet met the missus who could say the same. I have my own +opinions on this servant question. They may be heterodox, but they +work out all right, which is the main thing. The proof of the pudding +is in the eating. At the same time I know that I have had exceptional +luck. The dear servants and friends who did so much to make my life +happy were born good. + +One devoted nurse who was with me for many years postponed a fixed +wedding-day three times, rather than leave me when she thought I +needed her more than usual. "No," she said, inexorably, when I +remonstrated with her on behalf of her poor young man, "I am going to +see you better first." On the last occasion it was:--"I am not going +to let you have the trouble of moving with only strangers to help you. +I shall see you settled first." She married from the house at last, so +collapsed with grief over the parting that she could not touch the +wedding-breakfast we had prepared. The bridegroom sat about forlornly, +while I struggled to rally her with brandy and water and (when I dared +not give her more of that) tea; and she drove away with the cake whole +in her box, drowned in tears. She was a strong-minded woman too, who +as a rule never "gave way," whatever the rest of us did. + +Another long-service paragon, an Irish woman with a warm temper, could +not get on with the lady-helps--sub-housekeepers during the years that +I had no health to speak of. "No, ma'am," she said, when their +disputes were brought before me, "I'll do anything for you, but I +won't take orders from a person who's no better than I am." Although +servants like her were precious rarities, and lady-helps a drug in +the market, I felt bound to stand by my representative--the +intermediary whose position is always difficult; and so the result +would be that the other got a week's notice there and then. It made no +difference. She stayed on just the same, although I did not ask her. +They all stayed on--only leaving us to be married, or owing to family +circumstances over which they had no control. The present incumbent of +the kitchen has occupied it for nearly nine years. + +Living, _i.e._, feeding, in Australia is proverbially good, although +the cooking is often unworthy of the material. Few in the land are, +perhaps I should say were, they who do (or did) not sit down to a meat +meal three times a day. Fruit that in England was nursed in +orchard-houses and counted on south walls we could batten on now; a +few pence would heap the sideboard with grapes or apricots, but all +was so plentiful that it generally cost us nothing. Wine was not what +it is now, and we could not at once break ourselves of our English +beer; but it was not long before we learned to prefer the product of +the local vineyards, to which we shall remain faithful to our lives' +end. We got it, as we do still, in large stone jars, at less than the +price of Bass or Guinness. With a poultry yard and a cow, and John +Chinaman's vegetables, even a poor parson could live like a prince. + +Two or three times a week, regular as clockwork, "John" came to the +back door with his loaded baskets of the vegetables in season, fresh +and good, various and cheap. Europeans had not the patience to grow +them where they had so many enemies; it did not pay to do it, while he +did it for us on such terms; it has been so all these years, and is +so still. You will hardly find a private kitchen garden, except on the +isolated stations, where the gardener is nearly always a Chinaman. +Every little township depends, for the food it can least afford to do +without, on the industry of this man who, of all others, is the most +despised in the community, and of all others--tradesmen, at any +rate--is the most reliable. I never was cheated, or in any way "let +in," by a Chinaman, and never found him discourteous or disobliging. +Those who clamour for his extinction from amongst us do not realise +what country folk would miss if he were gone. + +Poor John Chinaman! so industrious, so frugal, so inoffensive and +law-abiding--an example to the white citizen of his class--if ever I +feel ashamed of Australia it is on his account. Its treatment of him, +who seems to have no friend amongst the nations, is indeed a strange +satire upon the traditions of the British race. One can see a certain +reasonableness in the poll tax of L50, hard as it seems that one only +of the various aliens amongst us should be thus penalised (and for his +industry too); it is, doubtless, advisable that we should prevent +ourselves from being over-run (seeing that the earth is _not_ for +all); but the law which constitutes one Chinaman a factory is worthy +of the Dark Ages, simply. Here is a sample of the sort of thing that +Englishmen, with the Union Jack over their heads, can read in their +newspapers of a morning as calmly as they read reports on the +weather:-- + +"Hop Lee, who keeps a laundry in Gertrude Street, was charged at the +Fitzroy Police Court this morning with having worked after hours on +Saturday, the 26th January, contrary to the provisions of the Shops +and Factories Act. Constable P---- deposed that about 5.30 P.M. on the +day named he went into defendant's premises and found him ironing +collars. In September 1899 the defendant was fined for a similar +offence. As L5 is the minimum penalty for a second conviction, Hop Lee +was mulcted in that amount and ordered to pay L1, 1s. costs. + +"Sam Pittee, who also keeps a laundry in Gertrude Street, was then +charged with a similar offence, also on the afternoon of the 26th +January. The defendant having pleaded guilty, the Bench inflicted a +fine of L1, with L1, 1s. costs." + +These are not men employing hands, but poor cottage workers "on their +own"; and the police--who cannot take them up for brawling, or +thieving, or woman-beating--because they don't do such things--watch +and spy, as perhaps is their duty, to see that they sit with their +hands before them through all the cool hours, while the wash that +customers may be clamouring for lies about them undone. One poor +Chinaman was arrested and fined for--according to his defence in +court, which it appeared was not listened to--ironing his own shirt +out of factory hours. And when candidates for the Federal Senate and +House of Representatives were making their stump speeches, a +"Reverend" gentleman amongst them, now a M.H.R., shouted these words +to his electors (to be quoted almost without comment in the papers +next morning):--"Chinese should be either pole-axed or poll-taxed in +such a manner as would make the country too hot for them." + +Ah, poor country! By the mouths of dozens of her most patriotic +children I have heard her sigh for the old days (before my time) when +a deputy of the Crown and a few soldiers and policemen were all her +Government. And no wonder. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +THE THIRD HOME + + +On the 1st of January 1872 G. ceased to be a curate. On the 4th--and +with thankfulness, I must confess--we left W---- for our own first +parish. + +It comes back to me, as if it were yesterday, the departure from Como. +One of the numerous kind friends who seemed sorry to part with us lent +us a roomy buggy, into which we packed many things besides +ourselves--the small treasures of the house that we did not like to +entrust to the waggons sent on before us with our modest stock of +furniture. The last offerings of fruit and flowers being stowed on the +top of these, the last good-byes said, we set off at a quiet pace, and +took the whole day to the journey. It was all Bush track amongst the +hills, and the weather, for midsummer, was kind. Twice we made a camp +in a shady spot, sprawled on the grass while the horse grazed and the +billy boiled, and ate our picnic meal luxuriously; and for miles we +walked beside and around the buggy, fern hunting and curiosity +gathering on behalf of the sister-in-law, whose main interest in +Australia was centred in these things. It was our intention to make a +holiday of the occasion, and we carried the intention out. But, oh, +how tired we were when at last we sighted our destination! That is +the moment that I remember best, when we crawled down that break-neck +"gap" which was the gateway to our valley, and saw across it on the +other side, sitting on a soft slope, with a great blue mountain behind +it, the little stone church and parsonage-house which were our bourne. +In pity for our worn-out horse, we three elders were afoot, hobbling +stiffly and uttering involuntary moans of exhaustion; only the dear +baby, from whom we had not had a cry, lay fast asleep in the bottom of +the buggy, in no way upset by his adventures. + +The picture is before me now, bathed in the last lights of the summer +day. It is one of the most beautiful that Australia can show. A +newly-arrived bishop, being in the same spot as we were, and also for +the first time, said he could not understand how we, having been +privileged to live in such a place, had voluntarily left it! for we +had left it then, because, as we reminded him, man needs more than +scenery to satisfy him in this world. The little township nests in its +fertile valley, and from the top of the gap you look down upon it and +see no prosaic details, only that it is in itself a detail, completing +the charm of the natural scene, the scheme of colour of which the +lovely mountain blue is the dominant note--that blue which flames +celestial pink in parts when the sun goes down. An awful trap to the +amateur Jehu was that gap in those days; we realise it now far better +than we did then. A metalled road, cut out of the hillsides and +fenced, now winds through it, but it still calls for a good driver and +a strong brake. We used to blunder down it, as down a wrecked +staircase, in the darkest nights, and think nothing of it; no, +although we were shown the spot where a coach, whose horses missed +their footing, was hurled down the ravine to utter smithereens with +all hands. The fact was that in those days and in that part of the +country we had to do these foolhardy things all the time, or we should +never have got about at all. When confronted with a tight place--a +gully almost as steep as a house wall, or a river which was +continually changing its soon-washed-out crossing-place, without +putting up a guide post--we just "started in" and chanced it. It was +the custom of the country, and the custom which made its drivers what +they are, skilful and fearless beyond any in the world, unless we +except the Americans, who built the vehicles that we used, the only +sort capable of such use as we put them to. I do not remember that we +worried in the least over the dangers to life and limb that we saw +quite plainly before us; we were too well used to them. Now, when we +recall our exploits, we tell each other that nothing would induce us +to repeat them. + +Descending the Gap for the first time G. led the Bush-horse, which was +an old stager if we were not, calmly taking things as they came; and +the Bush harness, on which life so often depends, was equal to its +responsibilities (the owner was to be trusted to see to that). So we +arrived safely at the door of what looked like the principal inn--the +place and we were as yet strangers to each other--and there we camped +for the night. Beds were our crying need. Everything else had to wait +until sleep had recruited us. We were fairly dead beat. + +But next morning we were all alive and vigorous again, in a fever of +impatience to get home--completely home. The vans with our furniture +had not arrived; the parsonage was shut and empty; we had designedly +kept ourselves and our movements unannounced, so there was no one to +show us the way about. Still, we lost not a moment after breakfast in +getting the buggy re-packed, getting the keys of the house and church, +and driving thither--through the tiny town, over the bridge spanning +the willowy creek, and up the hilly road--firmly resolved to sit down +by our own hearthstone forthwith, for good and all. But we always did +that. In all our movings and re-furnishings, the first proceeding was +to go in ourselves; a shakedown and something to eat, and we set to +work from the centre and not from the outside. It is far the best way. +And if there is one thing I love more than another it is the whole +process of shifting camp--odd as I am sure it must appear: I grudge to +miss a bit of it. + +What a morning we had! Although the vans had not come, there was +plenty to do in examining the premises, planning out rooms, and +utilising the contents of the buggy, now put up, with the horse, in +our own good brick stables. We were charmed with our house, which was +nearly new and very complete in its appointments. Its walls of dressed +granite made it very sound and cool; it was papered and painted as +well as it could be, and the garden and young orchard were laid out +with the same care to have all of the best; while its situation was +almost unmatchable. The outlook from the French windows and the +verandah outside them down the valley of the town to the Gap beyond, +and backwards to the blue range behind, was one of ever-changing but +constant beauty; none of our eight Australian homes had a lovelier +setting. The brilliance and purity of the mountain air enhanced the +complexion of it all, as well as the healthful capacity of the seeing +eye. Down that grassy slope to the front gate big bushes of spiraea +billowed in the spring; their overlapping wreaths were enormous; their +masses of white gleamed right across the valley, visible from the Gap +road. Everything one planted seemed to flourish there, and +particularly the vineyards on some of the hillsides. Fine wines went +out from that little town, to win medals and honourable mentions at +the industrial exhibitions of the world. The manufacturer combined the +professions of vigneron and doctor--in our time the only doctor for +many miles around. He was a German gentleman who had left his country +to escape some difficulty connected with military service, and was +debarred from returning thither by the knowledge that he would thereby +land himself in a fortress. Not that he had any hankerings for the +Fatherland; he might have been born where we found him, so attached +was he to his little town and the interests he had gathered about him; +he lived there for over forty years, I believe, and is buried there, +in the hill cemetery above our old home. Cut off as he seemed to be +from the intellectual world, he yet kept touch with it; with all the +work of his practice and his wine-making, he found time for scientific +studies, not reading only, but writing for magazines and newspapers; +and his active mind was absolutely free and fearless. Of course he +never came to church--his English wife did--but that made no +difference in the relations between us. No one was more welcome to the +house than he, and his company was the salt that gave savour to the +social life of the out-of-the-way little place. In his old age he +became an ardent spiritualist, much to my surprise and puzzlement, and +he died in that faith. His death was described to me by the doctor who +attended him, a mutual friend. The good old man was seized with +something which his medical knowledge told him must prove fatal within +a given number of hours. He made no fuss or bother about it, and +allowed no one else to do so, but chatted cheerfully with his +colleague until speech failed him, with no more emotion than if he was +preparing to go to bed and to sleep as usual. + +His vineyards--doubled and quadrupled as time went on--were carved out +of virgin Bush, and that Bush was a paradise for wild flowers and +ferns. From creek gullies close by I used to gather armfuls of +maiden-hair for church decoration, some fronds of which, measured on +the dining-room table, spanned the whole width from side to side. One +Christmas Eve I made the church a bower of it; every window was veiled +in the green lace. Unfortunately, it was withered by morning--the +usual condition of church decorations, on the actual day of festival, +in this country. + +The church, which we also rummaged over without loss of time, was of a +piece with the house. Here we found the same careful arrangements and +completeness of equipment, the lack of which in other colonial +churches had so much surprised us, coming to them with our English +eyes and notions; the stamp of the mind and quality of the first +incumbent was plain in every direction (he was an Oxford man, +expatriated for his health). A year or two ago I was there again; it +and the house had faded and been neglected, and I was struck by the +unexpected smallness of them both; but even then they were a pleasant +contrast to those at W----, as they were in '72. And regarding the +beauty of their situation, I found that memory had played no tricks +with the records. + +In the middle of our rummagings we realised that we were starving. +That air was the hungriest we had ever breathed, and we had no food +with us except the baby's. G. was despatched on a foraging expedition +to the town, and presently returned with bread, butter, cheese, beer, +meat, and a frying pan, together with smaller trifles, all in his own +arms and pockets--for he never minds what he carries or where he +carries it--the sister-in-law and I having prepared a fire in his +absence. Shortly afterwards we enjoyed the meal which stands out amid +the records of the past as _the_ meal of my life--my only excuse for +mentioning it. Soon the parish woke up to the fact of our presence in +its midst, and invitations and offers of assistance poured in upon us; +but I am always pleased to think that we got that wonderful scratch +lunch first. It is a delicious memory. + +The vans came, and we settled ourselves. I find an entry in my journal +for February 10th (1873), "G. and I making a dining-table." And, three +days later, "G. and I making a sideboard." We must have done these +things, or they would not be set down, but how we did them, and with +what result, I have no recollection, although the two sofas, also made +for this house, are as plain to the mind's eye as they ever were. We +could buy furniture at the shops--"stores" we called them--of our +little town; bullock drays, that took weeks to do the journey from +Melbourne, kept us regularly supplied with all necessary goods; so +that the explanation of our various dabblings in the art of cabinet +making will at once occur to the reader. We had expended the capital +of L50 with which we started housekeeping, and, if I remember rightly, +the parson's stipend did not exceed L250 per annum. In a parish of the +dimensions of this one, horses (as distinct from a horse) were +indispensable, and they had to be fed and shod. A buggy (second hand) +and a piano (on time payment) were here added to the establishment; +likewise a second baby and a nurse-girl. To make ends meet, and at the +same time to have things as one wished--nay, as one was determined--to +have them, considerable ingenuity and invention were required. I +flatter myself that we did well, considering our youth, and that we +were new to the conditions in which we found ourselves; but still we +had to learn experience in many directions at an unexpected cost in +cash. It is extraordinary how quickly money melts in Australia, +compared with what it does at home. The reason is not that living is +dearer, but that the ways of this country are so lavish and +free-handed. + +It was about this year (1873) that I began to write for the +_Australasian_--trifling little papers, at long intervals--not because +I found any fascination in such work to dispute the claims of the +house and family, but to add something to the family resources when +they threatened to give out. I had no time for more, until one day the +editor of the _Australasian_ wrote to inquire what had become of me +and my contributions, when it occurred to me that it might be worth +while to make time. + +The Sunday school was at the further end of the township--it was the +common school on week-days--and I used to rush thither morning and +afternoon on Sundays, and return breathless to attend to my baby and +play the (American) organ in church. I trained the choir, visited +every parishioner within reach, did all that hard work unfairly +demanded of the parson's wife under these democratic systems of church +government; besides the multifarious work at home--making and mending, +cooking and nursing, and, as it appears, building sideboards and +dining-tables. Moreover, the Free and Compulsory Education Act had +come into force (January 1873), and as the State had to be satisfied +that our little nursemaid, who was within school age, was being +educated according to law, I charged myself with this job also, rather +than lose her services for the greater part of the day. And I may add +that the baby in arms was rarely trusted to this functionary, except +for airings in the garden under my eye. All other attentions that it +required I gave myself. So there was enough occupation for one +not-over-robust woman, without the addition of literary work. + +Touching upon this matter, I am reminded of a conversation that I had +with Bishop Perry soon after our arrival. It was not the hardships of +the clergy that troubled him, he said, but the killing strain upon +their wives--literally killing, for he quoted figures to show the +disproportionately high rate of sickness and untimely death amongst +them. I rather think I have heard Bishop Moorhouse express himself to +the same effect. Certainly my own long and intimate acquaintance with +the subject leaves me in no doubt as to which of the clerical pair is +in the shafts and which in the lead. It is not the parson who, to use +the phrase so often in his mouth, bears the burden and heat of the +day, but the uncomplaining drudge who backs him at all points, and +too often makes him selfish and idle by her readiness to do his work +as well as her own. Under colonial and "disestablished" conditions, he +is not largely representative of the class from which our home clergy +are drawn; as a general rule he comes from that which, while as good +as another in many ways, and perhaps better in some, is not bred to +the chivalrous view of women and wives--regards them, that is to say, +as intended for no other purpose than to wait upon men and husbands. +The customs of the profession accord so well with this idea that it is +not surprising to find a pious man killing his wife by inches without +having the slightest notion that he is doing so. + +Amongst my colleagues of those days was a lady of exceptional culture +and refinement. Her husband, a Bush clergyman like my own, was poor, +of course, and they averaged a baby a year until the baker's dozen was +reached, if not passed. The way she "kept" this family was such that I +never saw a dirty child or a soiled table-cloth or a slatternly touch +of any sort in her house. She taught the children as they grew old +enough; I know that she did scrubbing and washing with her own hands. +In addition, she did "the parish work." + +One day, when she was run down and worn out, her husband told her that +the organist, from some cause, was not forthcoming, and there was no +time to procure a substitute. "So, my dear, you will have to play for +us." He knew that she could do it, for she had often done it before; +it was the merest trifle of a task, compared with those she hourly +struggled with; but it was the one straw too many that breaks the +over-loaded back. She looked at him in silence for a moment, flung out +her arms wildly, and, exclaiming "I can do no more!" went mad upon +the spot. She had to be put into an asylum, and the parish and the +husband and the growing young ones had to do the best they could +without her. The husband, I may say, was--apart from being the +inadvertent accomplice of the parish in her destruction--one of the +very best of husbands and of men. + +Only the other day I attended a gathering of the friends of a lady to +whose loved memory it was desired to raise some public monument. She, +lately dead, had been our bishop's wife, and so the meeting was +appropriately presided over by dignitaries of the Church. They stood +up, one after another, to air their views. "I propose," said a worthy +canon, with the most matter-of-fact air in the world, "that every +clergyman's wife be a collector for the fund"--of course. I heard a +sigh and a _sotto-voce_ ejaculation behind me--"the poor clergymen's +wives!"--and the incident exactly shows how their male belongings +treat them. + +I, however, have not been a victim. Before I was willing myself to +lighten the double strain, I was compelled to do so, and the +parish--as well as all succeeding parishes--had to put up with it. But +very early in the day I evolved opinions of my own as to the right of +parishes to exact tributes of service from private individuals in no +way bound to give them. And I came to a conclusion, which I have never +since seen reason to alter, that the less a clergyman's wife meddles +with her husband's business (except between themselves) the better, +not only for her but for all parties. After I could plead the claims +of a profession of my own, my position in the scheme of things was +finally and comfortably defined. Parishes, like clerical husbands, +when they tyrannise, do it unconsciously, from want of thought, and +not from want of heart. At any rate, my parish, for the time being, +never, so far as I can see, bears me any malice for my desertion of +the female-curate's post, but quite the contrary. For whereas we +should be sure to chafe each other if forced into an unnatural and +uncongenial relationship, we are now the best of neighbours and +mutually-respecting friends. + +Having been a fervid young churchwoman at home, where I +district-visited in the most exemplary manner, with tracts and +soup-tickets and all the rest of it, for my own pleasure, parish work, +when it became my business, was not at all irksome as such. And there +was one part of it which was a source of great enjoyment during the +three years that we lived in Y----. + +It was the training of the choir. At first, with much nervousness and +diffidence, I taught hymns and chants for an hour a week, and played +them at the Sunday services in the midst of my little band, which had +never conceived of higher flights. But ambition was generated in us as +we warmed to our work. Recruits arrived from far and near, some of +whom could read music, and we spread ourselves in an occasional +anthem. There have been, and are, many thousands of choirs as pleased +with themselves as we were, but never was there one more harmonious, +in every sense of the word. To the best of my recollection we never +had a tiff, and such was the attraction of our meetings that no +weather--rain, storm, mud, darkness--could keep away the men (some of +them quite elderly), who had to tramp miles through the Bush, after a +hard day's work, to attend them. Especially in the winter. + +For when winter came, and the church was cold, I had the practices in +the house, with piano accompaniment. The bright log fire--firewood is +the one thing we have always been extravagant in, on principle--and +the much-pillowed amateur sofa, and the chairs collected from the +general stock and grouped invitingly, made the homely drawing-room a +good, thawing sort of place for the storm-buffeted to come to and to +sing in. Most carefully were wet wraps and umbrellas left outside, and +boots rubbed and scrubbed on door-mats; and never did an evening-party +show itself better bred. For that is what the choir practice came +to--a "musical evening" once a week. We fell into the habit of +clearing off the chants and hymns rather hastily, and devoting the +bulk of our ever-extending time to experiments in the higher forms of +part-singing. We were not experts, any of us, but we made up in +enthusiasm what we lacked in knowledge, and ended by so distinguishing +ourselves that the fame of our performances has not died out in the +district yet. For although on pleasure bent, we kept an eye to +business, and selected music with the secondary view of getting +anthems out of it eventually. Our great achievement was Mozart's +Twelfth Mass. It took us a long time, but we fumbled through it from +beginning to end. And then we astonished the congregation with +"Glorious is Thy Name," and "Praise the Lord, for He is Gracious," and +other classic gems, as we got them perfectly. + +It was my first attempt at choir-leading and--which I am sure is a +very good thing for my reputation--the last. Thenceforth the parson +wielded the baton. The choir that now is, which could sing the Twelfth +Mass straight off as easily as look at it, if it had never seen the +thing before, would feel insulted at any comparison between their work +and ours; but often, when I am listening to the evening anthem, the +notes of those old voices, so fervid and sincere, float back upon the +tide of memory from those old days, with a heart-melting power that +these finished performances will never possess, for me. + +A year or two ago G. was escorting me to my seat in the cathedral +through a crowd pressing into the building to some special function--I +forget what--and he was accosted by a fine-looking grey-bearded +gentleman, with a lady on his arm. "You don't know who that is," said +G., turning to me. I looked, and knew--one of those men who used to +walk so far o' nights to attend choir practice, after working at his +mine all day--seven-or eight-and-twenty years before. We clasped hands +with some emotion and looked at each other, and the question that +sprang to our eyes was, "Do you remember the Twelfth Mass?" It was as +plain as print to both of us. Then we were swept apart before I could +learn where he was living, or anything about him, except that the lady +on his arm was his daughter. + +I hope many more have survived and prospered, and that they will read +these words so as to know how I remember them. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE MURRAY JOURNEY + + +This parish, although sparsely populated, was enormous in size; it +stretched out in one direction more than a hundred miles as the crow +flies. And when G. went that way he rode with a fat valise on the +saddle and did not return under a fortnight, during which time we were +unable to communicate with each other. It was the nearest thing to +being a missionary that he ever came to. There are roads and thriving +townships along that route now; in our time it was the wildest +Bush-track, about which lay the homesteads of the pioneer squatters, +at a day's journey one from another. These good men used to welcome +warmly the infrequent parson, round up their hands for service in +dining-room or wool-shed, fetch in the babies born since the last +visitation, and any candidates for matrimony anxious to seize a golden +chance. In the case of the latter it was not unusual for the whole +process of proposal, engagement, and marriage to take place during the +few hours that the clergyman was available. + +We called this expedition "the Murray Journey," and once I took it +with him. It was soon after we arrived in the district--the 24th of +March. That morning his horse, with the long-distance bolster on its +back, was saddled and he in his Bush riding costume of short coat, +tough trousers, and leather leggings, ready to set forth in the usual +way. But I was ill just then, and when it came to saying good-bye he +felt unable to leave me. At the same time, placards posted on trees +and fences and school-house doors had made engagements for him which +he could do nothing to cancel. + +"Suppose you come too?" he suggested, as the best way out of the +difficulty. "The change of air and the outing may be just what you +need." + +It seemed a good idea, and was acted upon at once. With a hopeful +effort I prepared a portmanteau for myself, and another for my little +boy, whom we proposed to leave at a friend's house (the sister-in-law +having left us) until our return; and G. went down to the township to +find a buggy. We had not yet provided ourselves with a vehicle of our +own, although we owned a horse. Practically we owned dozens of horses, +because the squatters were always pressing loans of them upon us, +exchanging fresh for stale, paddocking any that needed to be turned +out; and on this occasion the doctor, whom I have already spoken of, +hearing of our enterprise and approving it, made an offer of a good +animal which G. accepted. It was understood that relays, if needed, +would not be wanting on the road. The buggy he hired at hotel stables +for L5 the trip. + +We started after luncheon, and in the evening reached a place where we +were very much at home. It was one of the newer two-storey brick +houses, with a double girdle of wide verandahs outside, and any amount +of solid British furniture within--an imposing mansion for the times. +It had enormous willow trees about it, which the owner had planted--he +white-haired and a grandfather, but Australian born, as also was his +wife. They were the oldest of old families, their history interwoven +with the very foundations of the State. Her father was killed by +bushrangers, his father was almost killed by them, or by blacks--I +forget which; and he showed me dinted gun-barrels and other trophies +that implied a battle for existence on his own part in the stirring +days gone by. He was one of the finest men I ever met. The +never-ending--unless South African battle-fields have ended +it--argument that the British type of physique degenerates in her +colonial-born sons was made short work of in his neighbourhood. "Look +at Mr B." the defender of his country would remark, and the abashed +opponent was left without a word to say. + +I had a day's rest under his wide, warm roof, which it was hoped would +recuperate my strength for further efforts. On the 26th we started +again, leaving behind us our little son and his nurse--leaving also +the doctor's horse, which Mr B. pronounced inadequate. He had the +shafts removed from our buggy, and a pole substituted, and gave us a +pair of strong, staunch, sweet-tempered horses, which I have no doubt +saved our lives on one occasion, if not on two. There was no +discussion about it. They were simply ordered, and brought round when +we were ready. And I do not remember that my mortal hatred of debts +and favours stood in the way at all. The idea of being "under an +obligation" to these men did not occur to one, somehow. The pleasure +was theirs. + +At 9 A.M. we set out, calculating to make the next stage by nightfall. +The autumnal days were such that I could not describe them without +rhapsodising, but the nights were dark, and closed in at about seven +o'clock. Mrs B. stuffed luncheon basket and invalid comforts under the +buggy seat. Everybody did that when seeing us off. It was a pity I +could not do justice to the good things we turned out upon the grass +when we made our noontide halts. If I had been well, what feasts I +should have had, in that wholesome, hungry air. A normal picnic always +finds me ravenous. As it was, my main support was milk, with a dash of +brandy in it. Nothing heavier would "stay." + +Now began the struggles which I know were so painful at the time, but +which were so amply paid for. Our track was through the wild Bush, +sparely bisected by the primitive bush-fence--two or three a day, +perhaps--brush, dog-leg, chock-and-log, the post-and-rail reserved for +the stockyards and home enclosures; and it soon began to climb rough +hills and fall into abrupt ravines such as no sane driver would +attempt to negotiate nowadays. Not we, at any rate. The hills crowded +upon the river, and to get past them you either had to make a long and +uninteresting detour inland or clamber over the shoulders that sloped +sheer into the swiftly-running stream. We chose this left-hand route, +and thus put the splendid mettle of our horses to full proof for the +first time. Some of those "sidings" were so steep that while the +staunch creatures clung to the track, digging their toes in at every +step, the buggy hung at right angles to them down the hill; the least +jib would have run us plump into the water beneath. I walked while I +had the strength to do so; at the sharpest pinches we both walked; but +there was too much of it. I had to mount when I could crawl no more, +and tucking myself under the seat and covering my eyes, give myself up +into the hands of fate. "Tell me when it is all over," I said to G. + +G. had the good character in the Bush of being "so unlike a parson," +which meant he could ride and drive (accomplishments acquired at home, +fortunately), and go anywhere without losing himself. In those endless +miles of wilderness, faintly scratched with crossing and re-crossing +bridle-tracks, nothing to guide him that was visible to me, he was, +from the first, as good a Bushman as those to the manner born, as sure +of his course as a sailor on the sea. Nevertheless, we fell into the +disgrace (to an Australian Jehu) of being "bushed" that night. + +In mere miles it was a long day's journey; the difficult country made +it a slow one, and it was necessary to "out span" for an hour in the +middle of it, to feed and rest the horses. We started in the +afternoon, watch in hand. "We shall do it," said G.; and then, "We +shall just do it;" and then, "We've got our work cut out to do it." We +counted minutes, and watched the glooming sky. The horses raced in and +out amongst the trees and scrub while any shadow of trunk or stump +could be discerned by the straining eye; then they slackened, checked, +stumbled; branches broke under their feet and in the buggy wheels and +swished our hands and faces; and we had to recognise that we were off +the track, and that the darkest of dark nights had untimely caught us. +We were not lost, because we could hear the dogs barking at the +homestead that was our goal, but we were as good as lost--"bushed" for +the night, although for some time we would not acknowledge it. If the +reader asks what carriage-lamps were made for, I reply, not for +Bushmen in those days. People living in and about the towns used +them, in obedience to by-laws, and the coaches travelled at night with +grand hoods of light around their faces, top and sides; but +country-folks despised such artificial aids, such enervating luxuries. +They used to say they could see better without lamps than with, and +we, being Bush persons, thought so too. On any ordinary night and +fairly open track, we could manage to get along, but this night was +not only moonless but starless, and thick with gathering rain. "Black +as a wolf's mouth" well describes it. And we were in riverside scrub, +which is always dense and confusing, traversing it, moreover (since it +was not G.'s riding route, a still rougher one) for the first time. + +G. got down and hunted with lighted matches for the lost track. When +he thought he had discovered it he backed the horses and ran the buggy +into a worse fix than before. This manoeuvre was repeated several +times. While I held the reins, he made little excursions by himself, +and with the greatest difficulty found me again. The horses stood +quiet and patient, just snuffing and jingling a little, and we tied +them up and crept around the immediate neighbourhood together, hand in +hand, until they in turn were lost--lost for many agonising minutes. +Reminding ourselves of our responsibility for their welfare, and that +we should have to pay goodness only knew what for the buggy if harm +came to it, we decided, when reunited once more, not to part again. +Bushed we were, and had to make up our minds to it. + +So we unharnessed the gentle animals and haltered them, and let them +graze and rustle round within safe reach and the limit of their +tether, and we did what we could to ease the situation for ourselves. +I was deadly sick and tired, and had to lie down somewhere. The floor +of the buggy being too short for a bed, we were driven to seek rest on +the bosom of Mother Earth. We spread our one rug thereon, and covered +ourselves with the shawl that had Dik's shot-holes in it. That +shawl--a wedding present--was a dream of a shawl for softness, +thickness, cosiness, a family treasure for ever so many years. Babies +were rolled in it, and little invalids sitting up, and anybody who was +shivery or ailing (disease germs and such things not being in fashion +then); nothing was ever woven that gave so much comfort to so many +people. It was in constant demand--"the grey shawl"--as the last +safeguard against damps and chills, and so, as a matter of course, I +took it with me on the Murray Journey. But it was wofully insufficient +for the requirements of that cold March night. + +A mouthful from G.'s pocket-flask warmed me for a while, and there was +a romantic hour during which I lay and listened to the strange +undertones of the Bush, charmed to have fallen in with so interesting +an experience. It was, by the way, the only time that I ever "camped +out," although I have wished ever since to do it again, when well in +health and otherwise properly equipped. About two years ago I returned +(for the first time since '73) to that neighbourhood, and arrangements +were made for me and another enterprising matron to camp out with a +party of engineers surveying a proposed road through a wild jumble of +hills and glens, at what would have been an ideal spot. They were +taking tents and beds, and nice things to cook at the glorious fire +they would keep us warm with; nothing they could think of to enhance +our enjoyment had been forgotten. Alas! the rain came, and +extinguished that project and my joy. On the afternoon of the expected +happy night, a host-that-should-have-been drove me over one of the +old-time break-neck roads--but a real road now--and showed me the +scene of the camp that never was. Peeping from the mackintoshes that +he had heaped over me, I saw, through the driving rain and across a +thickly-wooded gorge, a high, dim hill. There it was, more than +half-way up--the loneliest eyrie. What a place to look down from at +nightfall, at daybreak, and in the dead waste and middle of the dark! +And not only the camp fire to make magic of it, but a moon! + +On the occasion of our involuntary camp-out in '73 there was neither. +I fancy we had used all our matches, but if not, we dared not have +made a fire. Grass and dead leaves were still tinder to a spark, and a +Bushman knows when he must respect that state of things. A Bush fire +is more easily started than put out. So we lay and listened to the +trampling and munching of the invisible horses, the scratchings and +runnings and snoring growls of the opossums, and those imaginary +footsteps that, to ears at the ground, were more distinct than either, +until we ached with the hardness of our bed and our teeth chattered +with cold. And then it began to rain. + +We sought the shelter of the buggy, and covered ourselves with the rug +and the grey shawl. We sat in the vehicle, where there was no room to +lie down, leaning one against the other, dropping this way and that, +sighing from our very boots, watching for a glint of dawn. It seemed a +thousand hours before it came. As soon as we could find our way we +went to the river to wash. How starvingly raw and cold that early +morning was! And to this day I am sorry for myself when I remember how +I felt, after the sleepless, supperless, wet, sick night. I would have +been glad to lie down and die, rather than face a pack of strangers. +However, we harnessed up, and set out for the house for which we were +bound. We seemed to have hardly started before we got there--a good +"Cooee" might have rescued us over-night--and nobody was stirring, +except a servant beginning to sweep. + +A new baby had recently arrived--it appears to me, looking back, that +in those days there was always a new baby in every house--so that the +mistress was invisible for a time; but I was soon in kind hands of +some sort, which helped me to tumble straightway into bed. For it was +useless to attempt to observe any of the usages of polite society, +under the circumstances. Daily, through that trip, I arrived in this +condition, more or less, at some new strange house--an uninvited +guest, too ill to talk to anyone, thrown at once upon the charity of +the family, and of course filled with the shame of so ignominious a +position; but I should have lost much more than I did lose if I had +been well. + +I slept till noon, while G. mended what he could of his broken +engagements (there should have been a service over-night, and now the +congregation had dispersed to its work); and after an early lunch we +took the road again. I was firm in insisting upon keeping a tight hold +of my husband, though I should die for it, rather than be left behind +to be nursed, which he and everyone deemed the proper thing to do with +me. + +In the evening we came to the place that, of all places visited at +this time, is the one I remember best and with most pleasure. A fine +day, after the rain, was closing with a finer sunset when we saw the +house, so effectively situated on a hill-side sloping to the river, +its pretty garden dropping down before, its neat vineyard and orchard +climbing behind, that as a picture I hung it "on the line," there and +then, and the gallery of memory holds nothing of the same age that has +worn so well. It was a bachelor establishment--an awkward +circumstance, at the first blush, but soon perceived to lack no +advantage on that account. One young partner was away; the one at home +came forth to receive us, with his nice, frank, gentlemanly air, that +made such an impression upon me. I don't know who he was; I never saw +or heard of him again; I have forgotten his name; but him I shall +never forget. + +He had made the most careful and graceful preparations for us. A +dinner-party had been arranged, the guests to meet us being a squatter +and his wife, of the same good class as himself, from the New South +Wales side of the river, which they crossed in their private +boat--evidently a voyage often taken--at the due hour. Sad to relate, +I could not join that party, much to the host's concern and my own +disappointment. The housekeeper bore me off to bed, and coddled me +with arrowroot or beef-tea or something, while at the same time she +supervised the serving of a meal which was described to me afterwards +in tantalising terms. I was glad that my bedroom was close to the +dining-room--probably opened out of it, like so many guest-chambers of +the period. I could hear the pleasant, cultivated voices, the bright +chat, broken by little silences during which the master of the house +waited to hear how I was, and whether I could fancy this or that; and +later in the evening I could follow the whole course of the service +that was held in the same apartment, and for which he had diligently +gathered in every stray sheep within his reach. + +As soon as dinner was over the other lady guest came in to sit with +me, and stayed with me until it was time for her to re-cross the dark +river to her own home and bed. We talked of our children, in low +tones, not to disturb the adjacent worshippers. She, too, I never saw +before or since--it was indeed a case of ships that pass in the +night--but I have loved her always, and thought of her as a life-long +friend. We promised to meet again. If she is alive now, I am sure she +regrets, as I do, that Fate declined to give us another chance. + +Refreshed by a night's rest, I rose early, and enjoyed my host's +companionship for perhaps half an hour. He took me for a gentle stroll +about the garden while breakfast was preparing, and I was sorry the +half hour could not be lengthened to a day--or a week. But the +exigencies of G.'s time-table drove us on. We had another day-long +journey before us to the next port of call, and it was necessary to +start betimes if we were not to be bushed again. + +We travelled beside the river for some hours, and my recollections are +of particularly lovely views. Doubtless the radiant morning gave them +much of their charm--Australian scenery is really a matter of light +and atmosphere--and allowance must be made for that enchantment which +distance lends; still, it was a pretty country. The Murray wriggles +through its two colonies like a length of waved dress braid, and here +it curved between hilly banks and woods whose fringes dipped into the +stream. Primeval forest it was, too (except for that daily rarer +brush fence), the free home of beautiful birds that may now be sought +in vain within the boundaries of the state; and a stream still +populous with wild-fowl of many kinds. By noon we must have worked a +little inland, for my journal says it was a creek we camped by for +lunch; and in the afternoon, during which we skirted a little hamlet +that is now a considerable town, we descended to country called +"Plains" in the title of its presiding station--the house we reached +safely just as night closed in. Here there was the usual new baby +(which G. christened next day), and no hostess immediately visible; +the governess received me--in the inevitable condition--and put me to +bed. + +Speaking of those Bush babies, I would point out that medical +attendance was in the category of non-essential luxuries that are now +necessaries of life in every class. When it cost a little fortune and +the waste of days to get a doctor, the struggling Bushman's wife, as a +rule, took her chance without him. Occasionally she was conveyed to a +township which possessed one, and there awaited in lodgings the +opportunity to profit by his services; but the majority of Bush women +preferred to stay at home and make shift with the peripatetic Gamp, +old and unscientific as she always was. There was no fuss made over +these affairs. The wives took after their husbands, who could drive +without gig-lamps in the darkest night. I remember, however, that the +mistress of this last house had all but lost her life in her recent +confinement. She was a beautiful woman, delicate in every way--not of +the ordinary type of squatter's wife. + +With her I rested for a day, while G. made business excursions on +horseback, and we spent a second night under that roof. This brought +us to Sunday--a typical Bush Sunday. + +A large family party loaded the waggonette which took us to morning +service some miles distant. The place of worship, as usual in such +parts, was the district school-house, called the Common School (the +title "State" was substituted for "Common" when the Compulsory +Education Act came into force, after which these buildings, enormously +multiplied, were not so readily obtainable for what are called +"sectarian" purposes). The school-house was utilised by the +denominations in turn, all having been placed on the same footing by +the withdrawal of State aid from the originally established (English) +church, only the Roman Catholics standing out from the miscellaneous +company. This seemed a sad "come-down" to us at first, with our +hereditary reserve and exclusiveness in relation to "dissenters"--a +word long eliminated from our vocabulary. The miner who, being invited +to church, replied affably, "Ay, ay, I'll give ye all a turn," showed +us our place in the colonial scheme of things, and we did not like it +a bit. But we soon adapted ourselves. And G. and the current +Presbyterian parson of the parish, that he could not call his own, +used to study their mutual convenience in arranging country services, +and give each other a lift when on the road together. A pity it was +that the "dissidence of dissent" could not have been further +modified--a pity it is, and must continue to be--for the existence of +half a score of little conventicles struggling one against the other +for the suffrages of one poor little town--the money question in each +case dominating and determining every other--is not good for their +common cause. + +In the simple seventies and these remote outskirts of the world, one +could still cherish the ideals of that English prelate who said of +Disestablishment that "it will nearly drown us, but at least it will +kill the fleas," one could survey the Church purified, before the new +vermin hatched. It was charming to see the country carts gathered +round the lowly wooden building, the horses unharnessed, feeding under +the trees; they had brought worshippers from many miles away, their +sincerity as such proved by the trouble they had taken to reach the +rendezvous, and by the heartiness of their demeanour while service was +going on. The school forms, made for children, would bend, and +sometimes break, under the heavy men, close-packed along them; the +mothers peacefully suckled their babes as they listened to the sermon; +the dogs strolled in, and up and down. Sometimes a dog had a +difference with another dog and disturbed the proceedings, but unless +this happened no one thought of driving the dear creatures out. They +were the sheep and cattle dogs of the congregation, each inseparable +from his master. + +This sort of function it was that I attended on the morning of the one +Sunday of that Murray Journey. A family present then convoyed us to +their home--another solitary station--whence, after a good meal, they +drove us to the second service of the day, similar to the first. We +then drove ourselves to a third station (a delightful place, G.'s +favourite camping-ground on every Murray trip), where, of course, I +went at once to bed, G. "having church" for the last time in the +evening, in the dining-room of the house. + +Monday was a rest-day here. On Tuesday morning we made the necessary +early departure, and a few hours later met with the first of our two +serious adventures. + +It was soon after our picnic lunch, early in the afternoon. We were +trundling through the eternal solitude, refreshed and content, +enjoying our conversation and the brilliant weather, when we saw a +Bush fire far ahead. Since we were not responsible for starting it, we +hailed it as a welcome variation in the monotony of our drive. We +hoped to skirt it near enough to see what it was doing. Bush fires +were pleasing novelties in those days; now the faintest distant scent +of them gives me a "turn" like a qualm of sickness. I shall explain +why later on. This incident does not explain it, although it well +might. + +As we advanced, the area of conflagration opened out. It was an +extensive fire, and in thick country. Not grass, but trees were +roaring to the sky. Our anxiety to get close to it gradually gave +place to a wish that it were further away. Misgivings deepened as we +drew near; alarm supervened. "It is right across the track," said G. +at last; and so it was, and far to right and left. + +The last thing we wanted to do was to turn back, and indeed the wings +of flame curved in behind us even as we drew rein to discuss our +chances--not until we had driven quite up to the blazing wall, in the +hope of seeing through to the other side, and finding a +crossing-place. To go into the unburnt scrub on either hand would have +been madness, for nothing could have saved us had the fire caught us +there. Every inch of earth provided fuel for it, except the narrow, +dusty buggy track. To that we knew we must stick at all hazards, and a +very hurried survey of our unpleasant position showed us that there +was nothing for it but to go on--to plunge into the flaming belt, and +get out as best we could. + +A few yards, we hopefully reckoned it: it turned out nearer half a +mile. It might have been midnight, for all the daylight or sunlight +that we saw during that dreadful passage: we were like Shadrach, +Meshach, and Abednego in the burning fiery furnace, enveloped in a +glare as of the infernal regions. The tree-torches over our heads +dropped blazing leaves on us (the useful grey shawl again +intervening): the grass-blades caught and curled up at the very tires +of the wheels; the buggy sides blistered like our hands and cheeks. +Not a word did we speak, except to urge on the horses, on which our +lives depended, and which we are convinced they saved. + +They shivered and jumped and snorted a little when the flames came +very near, or they were touched by a spark, but never for a moment +gave way to the panic which would have been natural, and which would +have destroyed us all. Digging their heads into their chests, obeying +voice, whip, and rein, they strained along doggedly, keeping the track +as they had done on the steep sidings, until they brought us out at +last into light and safety. Such nerve and courage I never saw or +heard of in horses, which can stand almost anything better than fire +at close quarters. But this pair were unmatchable. + +We staggered into port, and tried, with our parched tongues, to tell +the tale. Never shall I forget the shock I received from the behaviour +of the person interviewed. The thin veneer of his sympathy for us was +as glass over his solid and shining satisfaction at hearing how his +waste land was getting cleared--at no expense to him. I thought I had +never met a more heartless man. + +Then, after a night in the humble _chalet_ of two young fellows, just +starting squatting for themselves in a romantic nook of the hills--who +ought not to have been asked to entertain a lady, but did it most +hospitably with the best at their command, we passed on to our next +adventure. + +It was another lovely morning, and the usual bottle of new milk and +private spirit-flask compensated somewhat for the chops I had not been +able to eat at breakfast. It was a beautiful if rough drive down the +hills to the river-flats and another little hamlet that is now a +full-grown town, with a railway to it. On the way we stopped to watch +the evolutions of an eagle-hawk, which had caught up an opossum +(stupid as an owl in daylight), and was sailing through the ether with +it, fiercely chased by all the other birds of the neighbourhood. They +call these great creatures eagle-hawks, but they are wholly eagles, to +all intents and purposes. I have seen one swoop over a terrified +flock, claw up a good-sized lamb, and soar away with it as if it were +a mouse. + +Leaving the township, we came presently to a river--the Mitta, in +flood. And here our incomparable horses, which had saved us from a +fiery, saved us from a watery, grave--possibly. G., it is true, was a +good swimmer, but I was not, and the worst might have happened. +Drownings of venturesome travellers, under the same circumstances, +were frequently reported in those days. + +That river had to be crossed. There was no bridge, of course, and not +a soul within miles of whom to make inquiries as to the +fording-place. The only thing to do, therefore, was to take the last +one known, while anticipating--rightly as it proved--that it would be +found washed out and gone. "Oh, you can't cross there now," they told +us, after we had done it. + +I and all our belongings were gathered upon the buggy seat, skirts +tucked round me, railing and portmanteau tightly clutched; G. knelt on +the cushion of the driver's seat, and we plunged in. Deeper, deeper, +deeper, until we swayed and rocked and swung round upon our axis, and +the current took the horses off their feet and began to drift them +down. But their heads still pointed to the old landing-place: with all +their strength they held back against the stream; and swimming +steadily, got us ashore without an upset, and, with a tremendous spurt +and scramble, up a bank that would have tried the mettle of a South +African bullock team. + +It was the last "pinch." By noon we reached the wide-spreading roofs +of a house which was simply a free hotel for every passer-by--that +house where even the blacks were made welcome, one of them having the +run of visitors' bedrooms in the night. There G. left me, returning +after a few hours with our little boy and his nurse and the doctor's +horse. And the following day we were at home. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +LOCAL COLOUR + + +I often wonder what G. would have done if he had been a weakly man or +an indifferent rider. There were lengthy periods during which he +practically lived in the saddle, getting out of it merely for meals +and sleep. For a time we kept records of the totals of miles covered +per week or per year, but, these matters ceasing to be notable, we +lost them long ago. And it is better not to trust even to his memory +to reproduce them, for I am certain that no figure near the truth +would be credited by the English reader. + +The following is the programme for a monthly Sunday in W----, where +the breaking-in began:--Up at 4 A.M. Breakfast at a station +twenty-five miles distant. Morning service five miles further distant +(in an open shed, the congregation sitting on wheat-sacks or what +not). Dinner near by, and ride of twelve miles to afternoon service. +Tea, and ride of five miles to evening service. Ride of seventeen +miles home. Of course he could have started on Saturday and returned +on Monday, but he never spent a night away from his own house unless +absolutely compelled. I used to wake from my first sleep at the sound +of the cantering hoofs, pop on my dressing-gown, and go and hold the +lantern for him while he made his horse comfortable, and then join +him at his well-earned supper. He was always fresh at the end of this +tremendous day, or, at anyrate, not more than pleasantly +tired--generally more disposed to sit up and gossip than to go to bed. +The horse, too, which had carried him all day, though glad to reach +his journey's end, was undistressed. It was by no means an exceptional +day's work for an Australian horse. + +Only once do I remember seeing G., at the end of one of these Bush +excursions, thoroughly knocked up. That was in furnace-hot midsummer +weather, when he had been out all day in a north wind. He had been +sent for to take a burial service, and was first driven twenty-five +miles to the station where the body was lying. Hence the funeral +party, on horseback and in black clothes and hats, proceeded at a slow +foot-pace another twenty-five miles to the station where the family +burying-ground was situated. Here, at the grave, one mourner fell, +sun-struck; the rest were more or less prostrated. G. rode those +terrible twenty-five miles, and the same distance back to the first +station; there he had a meal and a short rest, and then rode home in +the night, which was pitchy dark. The temperature was still over 100 deg. +and the wind in the north, and the whole thing proved too much even +for his strength. He was really tired out, for once. But that was the +only time that I remember him being so (from riding) in all the years +that I have known him. + +I may mention another funeral with some old-time features about it. +The summons came one evening, from a long distance, and the man +bringing it left directions for G. to follow in riding to the +appointed spot next day--for he had but just arrived in the district, +which was all unknown land to him. The man promised to meet him at a +certain swamp of some miles in extent; the funeral would have to skirt +round this swamp, but there was a track through it, known to the +initiated, by which a rider could save much distance; he had, however, +to be a good rider, on a good horse, because it was a quicksandy sort +of ground, and a guide was necessary. G. managed to find this place +and duly met his guide, who upbraided him for not being there earlier. +The man then led the way through the swamp, at a pace as near to +flying as possible, to avoid being sucked in; if a horse rested his +weight on the ground for a moment, he began to sink. They were awful +places, those. I once saw G. (I was riding behind him) caught by one +unawares. The instant he knew it he rolled off the saddle and back to +_terra firma_ like a streak of lightning, and eventually he got his +horse out too; but it gave me cold shivers to think what might have +happened. Though, as I never heard of anyone being engulfed entirely, +I suppose there were bottoms somewhere. + +On this occasion the guide tore along at the pace I have mentioned, +kicking up the sticky stuff behind him; G., obliged to ride in his +tracks and close at his heels, was smothered in the shower, and when +he joined the funeral procession was a cake of black mud from head to +foot. Arrived at the cemetery, it was found that the grave had not +been dug--not begun to be dug--and the party had to sit around for +three hours while this necessary business was transacted. A hospitable +soul amongst the mourners took G. to his neighbouring shanty, cleaned +him down a bit, and gave him eggs and chops and tea and all the usual +kindness. Word was brought to them when the grave was ready, and they +returned to finish the proceedings. + +This cemetery, although remote and small, was a public one; that of +the other funeral was private. I have known several of these family +burying-places, made in the first instance for the pioneers who "took +up" the land--crown land, become freehold and virtually entailed--now +occupied by their descendants; some of them are used still. Only a +short time ago I was visiting one of the old homes, a wealthy station, +administered by the third generation of its possessors; and, walking +about the grounds after luncheon, I was shown the cemetery, with its +rows of head-stones and monuments and its fence and gate, like a +section cut out of any well kept municipal burial-ground; only this +lay amongst garden-beds and orange-groves, in full view of the windows +on one side of the house. Hither had been brought back the daughters +who had married and gone away. "And here," said my white-haired host, +"we," indicating the family group of which he was the centre, "shall +all come, I hope." I trust there will be no law made to prevent it. +Technically unconsecrated, as I suppose they are, these little family +burying-places have a peculiar sacredness, to my thinking, not +belonging to the common gathering-places of the dead; the difference +is as between a bed at home and a bed in a hotel. + +One friend of ours, bachelor-owner of one of the finest properties in +the wealthy Western District, ordered that he should be interred on +the top of a hill on his estate, and that no monument was to be +erected over him. His wishes were carried out. G. read the burial +service at the lonely grave, which is marked only by a cairn of +stones. + +Some of the Bush weddings of those early times were as unconventional +as the Bush funerals. Our verger and odd man about the church at Y---- +(we took him over from our predecessor) could not read. G. called upon +him one day to say the responses at a marriage service, there being no +other congregation, and he pleaded this disability. "Well, at least," +said G., "you can say 'Amen' can't you?" Oh, yes, he could do that. +And he did--with a vengeance. Every time G. paused to take a breath, +no matter where, a loud "Amen!" was shot into the breach. Who giveth +this woman to be married to this man?--"Amen!" There was nothing for +it but to race through the ceremony, and "Old Jimmy" was not required +to officiate again. + +G. was often nonplussed in this way, by finding ignorance where he +expected knowledge as a matter of course. Once he started to read the +Litany in a strange place for the first time. Dead silence followed +the opening sentence. In a low voice he directed the congregation what +to do, but nothing would make them do it; evidently they had never had +the Litany before, and did not know what to make of it. In the end he +had to read the whole alone. I myself came upon a crowded class of +Sunday-school children who did not know who Noah was. I was trying to +stuff them with that legend of a submerged world, and I put the +question encouragingly: "Now, who was the good man whom God spared +when all the rest were drowned?" Rows and rows, dozens and dozens +(they filled that flower-stand-like arrangement of stair-seats running +up the wall, which the village school provides for the infant +scholars) of blank little faces were interrogated one by one. "Can't +you tell me? Can't _you_?" No, none of them could. At last one bright +little boy spoke up. "I know, teacher!" "Ah, then you tell these other +little boys and girls. Who was it?" He shouted triumphantly, "Robinson +Crusoe!" + +There was a Bush wedding that would have made quite a romantic story, +if I had thought to write it. G. was on the Murray Journey, and it was +one of his engagements for the outward route. Cantering along through +the Bush, he was met and accosted by a drunken old man, who asked him +whether he was not the parson and on the way to marry So-and-so. G. +informed him that he was. "Well, don't you do it," said the man. "I'm +the girl's father, and she's under age, and she can't marry without my +consent, and I won't give it." G. rode on, and at the appointed +rendezvous met the young couple, a nice modest girl and a +respectable-looking young man. Documents were produced for filling up +and signing, and G. asked for that necessary one which he feared would +not be forthcoming. It was not. The bridegroom-elect pretended that it +had been mislaid--"bluffed" all he knew, poor fellow--but he could not +produce it, and without it there could be no marriage. The bride, +being in her teens, must have her father's written consent, and this +father had refused it. They tried to persuade G. to marry them without +it, but, as he told them, it was more than his place was worth; the +law was plain and had to be obeyed. They retired for a while to +discuss the unhappy situation, and then the bride came back alone, +weeping, to renew the useless appeal. She had a wretched life with her +drunken father, who ill-used her, and her lover had prepared for her a +good and happy home, and oh, couldn't G., for once and in +consideration of the hard circumstances, stretch a point? He was +sorry enough that he could not. All he could do was to promise to see +them again on his homeward journey, and to marry them then if in the +meantime they had been able to soften the father's heart. But when he +returned he found the situation unchanged; the old ruffian's heart was +flint. The end of it all was that the poor young things, using the +legal knowledge acquired from G., went off to another colony and +another clergyman who knew them not, to whom the bride gave her age as +over twenty-one. G., when he heard of this, did not make it his +business to denounce the desperate young criminals. + +He celebrated another Bush wedding--and there was a wedding party to +it--in the destined home of the happy pair. It was a bark hut, with a +mud floor and as yet without a shred of furniture in it. The papers +were filled up and signed on an up-ended cask. At another marriage +feast all the guests were drunk to start with. They offered him a +glass of neat brandy in which to drink the health of the contracting +parties. In all sorts of places, and at all hours of the day and +night, he has been called upon to weld the bands of holy matrimony; +the evening--after dark--is the time preferred by those casual couples +who do not bother about wedding garments and the other conventional +displays. + +I once got a pathetic glimpse of one of these belated functions; it +was performed for G. by a _locum tenens_ in one of our country +parishes. "Why," said he to me, before going into church, "why do +these people make a point of being married in the vestry and not +before the altar?" They had pressed this point with such earnestness +that he had yielded to it. His idea was that they did not feel +themselves smart enough for the usual observances, although there were +to be no spectators; but even to him it seemed an absurd one. We knew +them well--that the mother, authorising the marriage as the only +surviving parent, was a highly-respected lady, and the bridegroom a +steady young man, long a member of her establishment; the bride, who +was very young, was her only child. The hour and the place chosen, and +the secrecy of the whole affair, puzzled us, though we might easily +have guessed their meaning. I happened to see the vestry door open on +the conclusion of the ceremony. In the bright patch of light suddenly +flung upon the screen of darkness stood mother and daughter, locked in +each other's arms, apparently weeping bitterly. "Tell me," said the +officiating minister, when he came in, "tell me how this business +turns out," and he left us next day for his home in Melbourne. The +first thing I heard was the news that the girl had been married, all +unbeknown to her friends and at some distant church, several months +before the date on which I knew she had been married; everybody told +me this, and of course I did not contradict the statement. Four or +five months later I met her in a railway carriage, and she had a +bouncing baby in her arms. The strict moralist would have been +horrified to see how proud of it she was, and how blooming and happy +and satisfied she looked. + +Strange to say, evening weddings are _de rigueur_ in the upper circles +of the place where I now live--the only place thus distinguished, so +far as I know. Soon after we came here a particularly "swell" wedding +took place--that may have set the fashion--the hour of which was fixed +at 8 P.M. The bridal robe, with its court train, had been sent from +London, the gift of a wealthy sister; it was a wonderful white +brocade shot with silver threads, and certainly shimmered in the +gaslight as it could not have done by day. The gorgeous costumes of +the guests also "lit up" with great effectiveness, as did the +elaborate decorations of the church. It was really a dramatic +spectacle. And the church was almost pulled to pieces by the crowd who +went to see it. + +And so now all the butchers and bakers and candlestick-makers have +their weddings at night. Business is over, and they can revel +thoroughly while they are about it. And outsiders, being also free to +enjoy themselves, come in shoals to see the fun. Gates have to be +locked and defended by brute force like barricades against besiegers, +and the police are welcome when they deign to grace the scene. We hate +this custom, which for several reasons is not nice to think of, but +cannot alter it. Fashion is always irresistible when there is no law +to the contrary, and canonical hours are ignored in this country. In +the Bush, in the old days, persons got married at night only because +they were ashamed to do so by day, or because they had no choice. + +Another more purely social function of the Church had its Australian +peculiarities, so marked at times as to obscure the lines of the +original model, followed with such religious care. I allude to the +time-honoured tea-meeting. I shall never forget how the first one that +I attended on this side of the world astonished me. + +It was while we were at W----, and the occasion was the laying of the +foundation stone of a church at a mining township some twelve miles +off. A large party of us, headed by our archdeacon, had a pleasant +drive to the spot during the afternoon; on arrival our buggies were +variously disposed of amongst the local residents, who, after the +business ceremony, welcomed us to the hall or schoolroom where the +festive tables were spread. I had seen the festive tables at +home--bread and butter, substantial whitish cake, currant buns--and +expected some approximation to that immemorial bill of fare, which to +me was all one with the Rubrics. + +I did not know--though I soon learnt--that the poorest Sunday-school +child would not look at it. For the Sunday-school treat--just so much +on a lower plane than a tea-meeting as boys and girls are inferior to +men and women--you must have nothing plainer than ham-sandwich; that +is the basis on which to build the rich edifice of sweets. Ham it must +be, and no meaner substitute. So, at least, it was when I took active +part in such affairs; for I know that once, when we thought to +economise with beef, an irate mother came to ask us what we meant by +it. The children never had been put off with beef, and she considered +it a burning shame. One year, when the "treat" food was provided, as +usual, by the ladies of the congregation, each cooking to outvie the +rest, I took upon myself to remonstrate with them for _their_ +cruelty--in stuffing the poor children with unlimited cream-cakes and +meringues. Yes, actually meringues, on my word of honour. But that, I +must admit, was an exceptional circumstance. + +Nowadays, as I am informed, things are not quite the same. For +instance, the current Sunday-school attached to this establishment +makes its annual sandwiches of ham, beef, and German sausage, in about +equal parts, and I do not hear of any complaints. It is a large +Sunday-school, and therefore not so much all one family as those +little ones of the past: and ham is something like a shilling a +pound; and town ways are not as Bush ways. In town it is a common +thing to employ a caterer at so much per head. So that we may say the +times have changed. But the children, wherever they are and whoever +makes it for them, still pack rich puff pastry on the top of their +sandwiches, and rich plum cake on the top of that, and miscellaneous +"lollies" on the top of all, until there is no room for a crumb more; +and what happens to them next day, and the day after, is a question +that yearly agitates my mind. Quite unnecessarily, I suppose. Their +little stomachs are hardened to it. + +So the aspect of my Bush feast--the tea-meeting tea--may be inferred. +Chickens and turkeys, hams and tongues, pies and sucking-pigs, jellies +and trifles--in short, all the features of an old-fashioned wedding +breakfast or a ball supper were there, except the wine. You had, +naturally, to drink tea at a tea-meeting--if you wanted to drink +anything with such oceans of whipped cream. But the tea is the only +remaining link between the Australian tea-meeting and the English one, +unless the English one has changed greatly since my time. + +A purely social function, did I call it? It had, of course, its +_raison d'etre_ if only to "draw the people together," which is its +last excuse (the first always "goes without saying"). On one occasion +a tea-meeting was attached to a movement for getting some parochial +work done, of which part of the parish approved and part did not. +Speeches for and against were made when the tables had been cleared, +and G. spoke for the side that he personally espoused. The local +paper, which was on the opposite side, reported his speech in the +following ingenious manner: "The reverend gentleman was understood to +say" so and so (substantially what he actually did say), "but what he +meant to say was" so and so (what the local paper and its party +thought he ought to have said). + +The great tea-meeting of all is what is called the Diocesan Festival. +It is held annually, at the time of the sitting of the Church +Assembly, which is our House of Convocation; and all the leading +(English) Churchmen of the diocese, lay and clerical, take their part +in "running the show." The Melbourne Town Hall is filled with +tea-tables, individually donated by parishes or private families; +Church of England people, and many besides, flock thither and pack the +place to suffocation before six o'clock, at which hour they sit down +to eat and drink, having paid eighteen pence per head for the +privilege. When tea is over there is a great struggle for room to +remove the tables and their furnishings, but it is done somehow, and +only benches and chairs left for the evening assembly, augmented by +many not present at the tea. During this interval the cathedral +organist gives selections on the great instrument that was the city's +pride in the seventies and eighties, but now needs more money than +City fathers care to give (for mere artistic purposes) to bring it up +to the requirements of these times and of a self-respecting performer; +then, when all is ready, the orchestra platform fills with +big-wigs--governor, bishops, "special attractions" bespoken long +before--and stirring speeches fill the rest of the bill. It is a great +carnival for pious folk, and not without interest for mere ordinary +beings like myself; and the substantial profit resulting from it is +one of the mainstays of the "Bishop of Melbourne's Fund," which is the +general fund in aid of general diocesan distress. + +Substantial profit, it is needless to remark, is the first object of +the promoters of all these entertainments, so many and +various--tea-meetings, bazaars, "sales of gifts," Bruce auctions, cake +fairs, concerts, etc., etc.--and has to be so while the voluntary +system and poor human nature exist together. Each event is contrived +"for the benefit of the Church," a term well understood by all its +members, who will contribute pounds of money and endless time and +trouble to such affairs sooner than lay an extra shilling or two in +the offertory plate. Every parish is running its little money-making +enterprise at short intervals, the other denominations, whose parish +it is also, doing the same. Sometimes there is an unfriendly +competition between the churches, smart dodges to take the wind out of +a rival's sails; more often they have a tacit fraternal arrangement to +aid each other, or at anyrate not get into each other's way. You will +hear it said at a ladies' working party, "What a shame of the +Catholics to take our conversazione night for their concert!" Or, "The +Presbyterians sent a lot of things to our bazaar, so it is only right +we should help them with theirs." + +The concert is the commonest of these events. It costs, in money, +time, and trouble, less to get up than the others. Domestically, this +is a musical country, and local performers are never hard to find. My +natural impulse is to stay at home when the miscellaneous amateur is +abroad, but sometimes, when I have steeled myself to endure him or +her, I have been rewarded beyond my expectations or deserts. One thing +stands out from my experiences in this line that is worthy of +note--the high average of excellence in the quality of the amateur +voice. I am convinced there are as good fish in the sea as the Melbas +and Crossleys that have come out of it, judging by the number of +little girls, hardly past childhood, whom I have seen come upon the +stage in parish schoolrooms and rural shire-halls, and proceed to give +forth full, ringing notes that, for power, would do justice to the +Albert Hall or the Crystal Palace, and with the right training (as I +think) might do anything. I believe it is the climate that accounts +for it--the air that throat and lungs have grown on; and if so, this +is the place for the speculator in such wares to come to. Expert +fossicking might reveal a new Kimberley to the world. + +Still, in spite of these occasional surprises, the parish +concert--after so many of them--is apt to pall upon the too-accustomed +ear. One looks to the human interest for entertainment, rather than to +art. In what I believe was the very first parish concert that I went +to, this element largely predominated. + +It was held at a hamlet some eight or ten miles from head-quarters, +and we drove to it in a party, taking several of the performers with +us. Before business began, our _prima donna_, a young married lady, +confessed to not feeling very well; she said she had been eating +fruit, which had disagreed with her. However, she went through the two +hours' programme unflinchingly, and so acquitted herself as to rouse +no suspicion of the fact that she herself was perfectly aware of. She +was a tall, handsome, resolute sort of woman, who, finding herself in +a horrible dilemma, determined to brave it out. "I _had_ to do it," +she said to us afterwards, "or else upset everything and make a +disgraceful exhibition of myself. And I thought there would be plenty +of time." But she had miscalculated in this respect, as it is so easy +to do, and the situation had grown desperate before she was nearly +through with her last number; I noted her damp brow and deeply flushed +face, and wondered at the unsmiling look in her eyes when they met +mine; her accompanist also was put about a little here and there; +nevertheless, she made a finish of her song before she bowed to our +applause and bowed herself off the stage. Then a word went round +amongst the matrons which filled us with dismay and concern. The +doctor's horses were put to his buggy, and the doctor and his wife and +Mrs T. were gone ere "God Save the Queen" was finished. When the rest +of us got home afterwards, it was to hear that our _prima donna_ had +become a mother rather less than two minutes after gaining the shelter +of her own house. + +I think that was the most interesting concert I was ever at. Others +who were there, remembering it with equal vividness, say the same. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +THE FOURTH HOME + + +Sad indeed was the breaking-up of that pleasant home at Y----. It +followed upon, and was a consequence of, the death of our little +daughter, when she was nearly a year old. + +These are the times when the Bush dweller feels his geographical +position most keenly--when he needs the best medical advice and cannot +get it. I do not say that our dear old German doctor was not a good +doctor in his way, for he was; but practically nothing had been added +to his knowledge since he was young, and in this case he confessed +frankly that he was altogether at fault. He had never met with a +similar one--nor have I; and after looking up all the authorities at +his command, even to the papers and notes of lectures of his student +days, his honest mind would not pretend to have made itself up. His +professional credit was not so dear to that man as truth. "I don't +know," he said in so many words. And how often I have wondered +whether, if we had been rich, we could have found someone else who +did! Would a special train and a thousand guinea fee have saved her? + +These are questions that shock some of my clerical friends, mothers +amongst them. "It was the Lord's will," they say, and seem to think +that settles it. A few months ago I was spending an evening with a +young curate and his wife, whom I had not met before; they were +ardently religious people, in their own line, and they had recently +lost their only son. The mother gave me the history. He had had an +internal tumour or something of the sort, a growth that steadily +increased, and which the doctors had plainly said must be removed if +his life was to be saved. The parents replied--and they repeated the +words with such proud confidence that they were right words--"No, if +the Lord intends him to get well, he will get well without that." And +instead of the operation--urged by their incumbent, who also gave me +these facts, as well as by other friends--they had prayer-meetings at +the bed-side. The little sufferer, described as a bright boy of nine, +swelled and swelled until he died. "The Lord needed him," said the +mother to me. And "We feel so honoured to have a child in Heaven." She +made my blood run cold. I can never have shocked the "good" people +more than that ultra "good" woman shocked me. + +We left nothing to these chances. When whooping-cough came to the +township, I took extraordinary precautions to keep my children from +catching it. The epidemic was nearly over when the little boy fell a +victim, and then I watched day and night to prevent contact with the +baby. Quite at the last (the lady I have spoken of would have some +remarks to make on this) my efforts were defeated; the baby took it in +spite of me. She was a healthy and happy little soul, and at first her +case seemed just an ordinary one. But after coughing for a week or +two, she ceased to cough suddenly, and fell into strange +fainting-fits; they seized her so silently and swiftly that I hardly +once saw her go into one, although she was in the room with me, and my +eye, as I thought, never off her. A cry from her nurse or somebody +would cause me to jump as if I had been shot, and there lay my little +one, wherever she happened to have been sitting or crawling, exactly +like one dead--grey, limp, eyes sunk, lips drawn back, neither breath +nor heart-beat discoverable. We would snatch her up and rub her and +give her brandy; and after some minutes, more or less, she would +struggle painfully back to life, and as soon as respiration returned +begin to shriek in the most terrible manner, and keep it up until +completely exhausted; then she would drop asleep, remain asleep for a +whole day, perhaps, and awake placid and cooing, ready to be fed and +played with, apparently as well as ever. At intervals of a day, or two +days, she had perhaps half a dozen of these fits; then she had one +that lasted nearly three hours. All the while that she lay in our +arms, we having no hope that she would revive again, a thin stream of +what looked like grey water trickled from one nostril; it was the only +sign of life. The old doctor, having done all he knew, sat looking on, +as helpless as we. However, again she struggled back, and, getting +breath, began that quick, agonising shriek which was so maddening to +hear and impossible to stop. The doctor put his hands to his ears. "I +can't stand it," he said; "I must go outside. Call me if you want me." +After awhile he went home, but the shrieks lasted the greater part of +the night, gradually, as her strength wore out, dying into hoarse +wails and moaning off at last into exhausted sleep. + +She slept the entire day, and I sat by the cradle and watched her, +sopping several handkerchiefs with those foolish tears which I am +supposed to weep for the pleasure of it and could help shedding if I +liked. Then, towards evening, a little hand began playing with the +cradle-frills, and the happy little coo that used to wake me of a +morning broke the silence of the room. I could not believe my eyes and +ears. We sent post-haste for the doctor. Well, there she was, looking +as if nothing had happened. And for three weeks thereafter she had no +more fits, but ate and played, and throve and fattened, apparently +better than she had ever done in her life. + +"Whatever it was," said the doctor, "that last attack has carried it +off. You will see she will be all right now." + +At the end of the three happy weeks that seemed to prove him right, I +gave a little musical party. He brought his flute, and we were in the +middle of a more or less orchestral performance, when I fancied I +heard a cry from the next room--a cry with that peculiar sharp edge to +it that I had so learned to dread. I rushed to the cradle, the doctor +after me, and we lifted the child up and examined her. "Oh, she's all +right," we said, with long breaths of relief; "it was only our noisy +music that disturbed her." We placed the nursemaid on guard, and went +back to the drawing-room, and for the rest of the evening made less +noise, while she made none, but slumbered peacefully. + +In the morning she woke up as usual; that is, I did not know when she +woke. She hardly ever cried to be taken up, but played with her +bed-clothes and her toes, and gurgled and gabbled to herself until I +chose to lift her into my bed. She was in the most blooming condition. +From the time that I dressed her, until breakfast was ready, she +played with the cat on the dining-room floor, and a vivid memory of +the day is of the smothered chuckles of the two servants while G. was +reading prayers, because of the hilarious and irreverent shouts and +crows with which baby enlivened the proceedings. When breakfast came +in she was carried out. At the door her nurse held her up and told her +to say good-bye to her father and mother. The bright little creature, +perfection in my eyes, with her sunny curls and blue eyes and the +little face lit up with the fun of going through her tricks, kissed +her hand and waved it, and nodded and farewelled us in her baby +language, and the door closed upon our last sight of her in life. + +It was my habit to take her for an airing after breakfast, while the +servants helped each other with the housework, and this particular +morning was a glorious one, the crisp, sunny winter morning of +Australian hill country, with the first hint of spring in it. I got +her little cloak and hood and went to the kitchen to fetch her. The +kitchen was large and airy, opening upon the garden, and her cradle +was sometimes placed in a corner there, where she could be watched by +the servants, who were both devoted to her. It was there now, and she +was in it. "She seemed sleepy," said the elder girl, "so we laid her +down." + +"She must have been awake earlier than usual," I thought, and, +stooping over the cradle, I saw her, as I believed--and still +believe--sleeping quietly, carefully tucked up, the little golden head +laid sidewise on the pillow. It was not her bed-time by an hour or +two, but her habit of not telling me when she started the day seemed +to explain the too early sleepiness. I told the girls they were right +to put her down, and went off to the housework on my own account. +Some time later the elder servant came to me where I was busy, G. +being with me. "Oh, ma'am," said she, gaspingly, "I wish you'd come +and look at baby. She's so pale!" G. almost flung me aside lest I +should get to the door first, and dashed to the kitchen. We both knew +instantly what had happened. The servants had not left her for a +moment; she had not made a movement or a sound; she could not have +known what had happened herself, which was something to be thankful +for. One of her strange fits had seized her--the one, at last, that +she would never come out of. Her father snatched her up--lying exactly +as I had left her--and called for the brandy; we tried to pour it down +her throat, where not a drop would go, until she grew quite cold and +rigid in our arms. + +It was the first of these almost insupportable bereavements, and the +effect on my health was so severe that a complete change of +surroundings was considered necessary--to get me away from the house +whose every nook and corner was haunted by such agonising visions of +what had been. G., for his part, could no longer stand the Murray +journeys, involving such long and complete separation at a time when +we needed so much to be together. So he cast about for a more compact +parish, and one offered that fulfilled the requirements--and more. + +It was so far away from Y---- that we had to sell our furniture and +begin at the beginning again. At this auction the amateur sofas went, +and from that time I bought sofas. The new drawing-room was graced +with a "suite" in green rep--such was our taste in pre-exhibition +days--and the sofa was of that curly shape which prohibited repose. By +filling the upper concave end with my big cushions I could make head +and shoulders comfortable, but then there was no scope for legs and +feet; and one had to anchor one's self with the right hand to the +sloping and slippery framework of the back to keep from rolling off. I +never did appreciate that ingenious design, and the suite was no +sooner in its place than I found even the colour of it annoying. To +improve the effect I made holland covers for every piece--pretty +chintzes were unprocurable--and at least a fresher and brighter air +was imparted to the room; but I was not sorry that we had to have +another auction at the end of three years' companionship with the +suite. + +In other ways this fourth home was a great change from the other +three. We were now down in the flat, settled, macadamised country, +only twenty miles or so from Ballarat and fifty from the +metropolis--quite "in the world." I say "down," but it was a colder, +wetter, snowier place to winter in than any other that we have known +on this side of the globe--seventeen hundred feet above sea-level. + +Apart from the trouble I have spoken of, and a bitterer one of the +same nature that was soon to follow it, and the further misfortune of +a carriage accident from the results of which I suffered for many +years, my life at B----, socially considered, was more to my taste +than had been the case before in Australia, or than has been since. +For there I first discovered the resources of the colony in its +intellectually-cultivated class, and enjoyed the society and +friendship of some who represented it at its best--members of a small, +inter-related, highly exclusive circle of about half a dozen families, +who had had time and the means to read, travel, and generally sustain +the traditions of refinement to which they were born. + +Chronologically, they were the first gentlefolk of the land--"Rolf +Boldrewood" speaks of some of them in his _Old Melbourne +Memories_--and they still merit the title in another sense. The clans +have dwindled, indeed, but not all the original heads have fallen yet, +and I have not heard of a _mesalliance_ amongst their descendants. If +they do not marry with each other, they marry with their kind. As with +the Salisburys and Buccleuchs and modern London Society, they remain +uncontaminated by the influences which have made our own little world +of fashion a faint copy of the big one at home. Money, which "runs the +show" elsewhere, is no passport to those dignified homes, dating from +"before the gold," in which I have spent so many happy hours. + +My own passport to it was a little tale in the _Australasian_--my +first to run as a serial in that paper. It is gone now, and was never +worth keeping, but as a story about the colony, written from within, +it aroused interest in its anonymous author at the time, amongst those +whose eyes were keen to note literary events, small as well as big. My +friend, "Rolf Boldrewood," had not yet received the worldwide +recognition that he now enjoys; he was a "Sydneysider," and supposed +to belong to his own colony. Poor "Tasma" had scarcely begun her brief +literary career; Mary Gaunt, and others now on the roll, were mostly +in their nurseries or unborn. So that I had the advantage of a stage +very much to myself, which of course accounted largely for the +attention I received. And of all the pleasure and profit that I +derived from my long connection with the Australian press, nothing +was more valuable to me than the uplifting sympathy of those readers I +have mentioned, who were also as fine critics as any in the world. + +The first night at B---- gave me the key of the position. The one +socially "great house" of our new parish entertained us. Its owner, an +old Wykehamist and cadet of a noble Scottish family, who, having +practically built the church, and being its main supporter, stood for +what would have been the patron of the living at home, himself fetched +us from Ballarat, driving the wonderful "four greys" that were as well +known as he was. Never shall I forget my first sight of that sweet old +house in its incomparable old garden--of the sunset from the plateau +along which we drove to it from the lodge gates, the picture that has +delighted me so many, many times. And never shall I forget my +reception, the dinner, the evening, the sensation of finding myself +suddenly and unexpectedly in a place where brains and good breeding +alone counted, and nothing else was of any consequence. From the hour +that I set foot in that house the situation, as it concerned me +personally, was completely changed. I found, if not my level, the +level which suited me. + +Another house of the charmed circle began to help to make life +interesting for us both. It lay within comfortable driving distance, +and its family had recently returned to it from extensive travels +about the world. The actual structure, to which I paid my first +visits, was a modest relic of the fifties, but already there was +arising from the crest-of a neighbouring hill the most desirable +country house, in its own style, then built or a-building--to my +thinking, at anyrate--the final dwelling-place of the owner of the +surrounding land, who had been its owner from "before the gold." It +was after this home of taste had been completed that we held our +famous International Exhibition of 1880, which first taught us as a +community the rudiments of modern art; and I remember the satisfaction +with which the mistress of G---- wandered from court to court, and +found no exhibits more pleasing, in their respective classes, than the +treasures she had gathered for herself in foreign parts. Whether it +were a Persian rug or a Venetian wine-glass, her specimen was, in her +opinion, unsurpassed by any picked model of the like manufacture; in +which I agreed with her. There is no lack now of what are generally +described as artistic things; hundreds of Victorian homes, big and +little, may in the tastefulness of their appointments outshine G---- +to-day; but it was otherwise twenty years ago. At that date, when we +stay-at-homes were all for gold and white wall-paper and grass-green +suites (but the reader bears in mind that I put holland covers over +mine) in our drawing-rooms, I believe G---- was unique in the colony +as the first example of the new order. I may say here that we became +rapidly aesthetic afterwards, because it is our constant habit to +follow English fashions ardently as soon as we get an idea of what +they are. + +I had not been long in B---- before I heard of the flattering notice +excited by my story--_Up the Murray_ was its name--and by the +discovery, on the part of our neighbours aforesaid, that the humble +author was living where she was. Arrangements, unbeknown to me, were +made for mutual introductions and acquaintanceship, and one day I was +invited to join a driving party from our "great house"--which I wish +I could describe in less vulgar terms (but to call it B---- would be +confusing)--to meet half-way upon the road a driving party from the +other. The day was beautiful, and I see now before my mind's eye the +panorama of the spring landscape. We halted on the brow of a hill--the +four greys dancing themselves into complicated knots and being +dramatically disentangled with the whip-thong--and down below the +carriage from G---- toiling up the stony Gap track towards us. How +well we learned that road afterwards, going to and fro continually +either in the vehicles of our friends or in our own. If I have ever +done anything to earn a respectable place in my profession I owe it to +the awakening and educating influences that surrounded me at this +time. My intellectual life was never so well-fed and fortified. + +Of Melbourne Society, so called, I knew little as yet. My "set" held +much aloof from it, gathering only its own affinities into the +charming house-parties that brought whiffs of the gay world to us from +time to time. Although I was now so near to it, I do not think I paid +one visit to the metropolis while we lived at B----; invitations I +had, but the inclination was lacking. I was satisfied as I was. We +made expeditions occasionally to Ballarat, then, as now, the second +city of our state, where a small group, long since vanished, of the +old families still resided, to attract our particular old family +thither, and where on our own account we had a few clerical and other +friends to welcome us. One of these expeditions was typical of +several. + +The date it stands against in my diary is September 10th, 1873--the +time of budding spring. Our "squire," with a part of his family, +arrived at the parsonage in the lovely morning, with the "old +carriage," as it was called--a deep-seated, roomy vehicle that I can +hardly give a name to, but which was the easiest and cosiest that I +ever rode in. G. and I joined the party, and we started on our long +drive. It took us about three hours if we did not stop by the way, but +these excursions would have been very incomplete without the roadside +picnic. Picnics were our joy, also our _forte_, and the country is +made for them. So we stopped when we met the groom who had been sent +ahead with fresh horses--the "old carriage" was heavy, and not built +for Australian roads--and we lunched under the gum-trees with that +exquisite appetite that we never know indoors. Then, at our leisure, +on again until we trundled into the streets of the golden city--which, +I may remark in passing, is a truly charming city, and to my mind +ought to be the Federal Capital, if only because of its cool and +bracing climate (although it is also almost exactly central for all +the states as well). But in discussing sites for the future +Washington, no one seems to take into account what an effect upon +legislation a languid air and mosquitoes of a night may have. + +We spent the balance of the afternoon shopping, and were then +deposited, with our evening clothes, at the house of one of the +historical few--perhaps the most witty and world-cultured of them all, +certainly the brightest company. He had been much in France, I think; +he spoke often of Paris, with the air and knowledge of a born +Parisian; his singing of French songs was as un-English as it could +be. It was always said of Colonel R. that he would never be old, and I +met him the other day on a tram, and in the course of our ride +together found him as mentally alert as ever, although he confessed +to me, with a comical dolefulness, that he was some years past eighty. +He still wore his smart, "well-groomed," gallant air (accent on the +first syllable of this adjective, please), and was as ready as of old +with his pretty compliments. + +We dined with him and his wife, and then went all together to the +Academy of Music (newly built) to hear Ilma de Murska. She was a +small, fair-haired, glittering person, with a frilly train like a pink +serpent meandering around her feet, and the way she trilled and +rouladed was amazing. After the concert we had a merry supper, and +then--by this time indifferent to the flight of the hours--changed our +clothes and prepared for the homeward drive. We had but one pair of +horses now for the whole journey, so that it was necessary to take the +hills at a walk, and we reached B---- at about four in the morning. We +inside the carriage could have slept almost as easily as in our beds, +but we were obliged to keep awake to watch the swaying bodies on the +box. It was funny to see us winding scarves round our squire's ample +waist, and tying him to the low rail behind him, without disturbing +his slumbers. These precautions would have been useless, however, had +not one of us stood ready to clutch his sleeve at critical moments. On +finding himself too sleepy for our safety, he had given the reins to +his little son, who was a perfectly competent substitute. But that it +was thought well to tie him into his seat to prevent them from +dragging him over the dashboard, he could at nine or ten years old +drive four horses so well that I preferred to trust myself to him +rather than to any casual man, if I was to ride behind them. + +It was upon one of the hills between B---- and Ballarat that the +accident took place which impaired my health for many years; but then +no member of this family was driving. We had just started after our +picnic lunch on the second stage of the journey, and had come to the +top of a steep bit of road that had a sharp turn at the bottom, when +something went wrong with the brake. The huge, top-heavy vehicle--one +we called "the caravan"--ran upon the horses, which, as usual in Bush +harness, had no breeching to back against, and there was nothing for +it but to send them downhill at full gallop; they did their part, but +the sharp corner was too sharp for us, and as we swung round it we +swung right over. It seemed an inevitable thing, yet I am convinced +that our squire would not have allowed it to happen. He was taking a +brief rest inside the carriage, with the ladies, and so got a broken +arm and a dislocated shoulder, which, together with the disgrace of +the catastrophe, much incensed him. We used to get into marvellous +tight places under his devil-may-care handling of his notoriously +wild, half-broken horses, but never without coming safely out of them; +they were the occasions of proving what a miraculous whip he was. Once +a wheel came off when the team were in mid-career, and in the +twinkling of an eye he had so turned the other three wheels as to +balance the waggonette upon them until its occupants could get out. +One day four other horses were rushed up a broken hill track amongst +trees to some mine workings on the top, and as there was no turning +space here they had to come down backwards. We were showing the +country to some officers of an Italian man-o'-war, and the dumb +dignity with which those men went through the ordeal spoke volumes +for their breeding as well as for their nerve. + + * * * * * + +But I feel clogged and dulled while talking of this place. I do not +want to go on talking of it, but to get past it to scenes that are not +forever associated with sorrows that do not bear thinking of. It was a +pleasant dwelling-place, indeed, but now it remains, even at so great +a distance off, but the stage setting of the second domestic tragedy, +so much more terrible than the first--the death of our eldest son when +he was five. He was one of those bright and beautiful children of whom +people say, when they are gone, "He was too good for this world," and +"He was not meant to live"--that was the first thing my friends said +to me, or I should know my place better than to thus speak of him; and +every year and day your child is with you adds that much more of +strength and depth to the love whose roots are the very substance of +the mother's heart; and the bitterest thing of all is the suffering +you cannot alleviate, and not to lose them at a stroke, which I had +thought so supremely dreadful. After ailing nothing all his life, he +took scarlet fever in its worst form, struggled against it with all +the power of his perfect constitution and brave and patient temper, +rallied and relapsed, got dropsy, and died by inches--conscious nearly +to the last, and only concerned for his mother's tears and the trouble +he was giving people. If he had been humanly restive under the agonies +that he must have borne I could myself have borne it better; it was +his heroic patience and unselfishness--that "Please," and "Thank you," +and "Don't mind," and "Don't cry" which only failed when he could no +longer force his tongue to act--which seemed the most heart-breaking +thing of all. "If you had read of this in a book," they said who +helped to nurse him, "you would never have believed it;" and so I may +expect incredulity from the reader to whom I now have the bad taste to +tell the tale; but whenever I have thought of his conduct during that +last and only trial of his short life, I have realised to the full +what he would have been to us if he had lived. People say to me, "Oh, +you cannot tell how he might have turned out." But I can tell. + +Well, if he had lived he would have been a man of thirty now--married, +doubtless, and perhaps to some woman who would have made him wretched. +There is always that pitfall in the path of the best of men. Also the +success that must have attended the possession of such mental powers +as his would have been a danger. "Don't you teach that child anything +until he is seven at the least," our old German doctor was continually +warning us, and we did not; but somebody gave the child a box of +letters, and he could read the newspaper before he died. If you +recited to him, once, a long narrative poem--"Beth Gelert" or "The +Wreck of the Hesperus"--he would go off to his nurse or somebody and +repeat it from end to end, almost without a mistake. He had a passion +for mechanics, and, having seen a railway or mining or agricultural +engine at work, would come home and, with bits of string and +cotton-reels and any rubbish he could lay his hands on, make a model +of it in which no essential part was lacking. The frequent appeal at +the study door, "Just a few nails, please, daddy, and I won't 'sturb +you any more," was the nearest he came to teasing anybody. + +Well, he died at five years old, and the common impulse of all who +knew him, including his fool of a mother, was to say, "Of course!" I +was childless for a fortnight. Then another little daughter came, as +it seemed, to save my life. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +THE FIFTH HOME + + +We left B---- in 1877. The diocese of Ballarat had been carved out of +that of Melbourne, hitherto bounded by the boundaries of the colony; +and the knife had lopped off a portion of our parish, leaving only +enough to support a "reader," who is supposed not to want anything to +live on. + +We passed then into the new diocese. And, to begin with, we did a +stupid thing--possibly two stupid things. G., after consultation with +his bishop, accepted a living without seeing it. A charming photograph +of the parsonage, and the knowledge that it was situated in a pleasant +district, within a short drive of our then metropolis, Ballarat, +seemed to make a preliminary inspection unnecessary, especially as the +financial soundness of the parish was guaranteed. We had dismantled +our house at B---- and packed our furniture for L---- before personally +making acquaintance with the latter place. Then--for I was fretting to +see and rummage over my new home with a measuring tape in my hands--we +arranged to drive over. It was on a Saturday that we started, in very +wintry weather; and all our subsequent lives might have been different +if only it had been summer or a fine day. + +We spent the night in Ballarat, and after breakfast drove to L----, +timing ourselves to get there for morning service, G. having taken +duty for the day. It teemed. There was hardly any congregation in +consequence, and the church was dark, cold, and dismal. Amongst the +absentees was the organist, and I was called upon to play the selected +music, without preparation, to a few watchful critics. They gave us a +kindly welcome after service, and invitations to dinner and tea; after +which we were able to inspect the parsonage in privacy. It had been +empty for some weeks, and rain had rained on it for days. The +picturesqueness of the photograph had been wholly washed away. We +should have made allowances for all this, but when we found one room +with the paper peeling from the wall, and another showing a wet patch, +and when we sniffed the fusty, mouldy, shut-up air, we exclaimed to +each other, "A damp house!" and there and then determined that it was +impossible for us to go into it. We had lost two children; nothing +should induce us to imperil the safety of the third. + +At dinner, and again at tea, our entertainers apologised for the +exceptional weather, and assured us that all was quite otherwise as a +rule. The parsonage needed fires for a few days, perhaps a patch on +the roof, possibly the clearing of leaves and birds' nests from the +water-pipes. They answered for it that, when in order, it was a +perfectly healthy house. I daresay they were right, for we never heard +that the family of the clergyman who subsequently jumped at it took +any harm while living there. But the possibility of its being damp was +enough for us; we dared not risk it. + +It was with some difficulty, and not without unpleasantness, that we +backed out of the engagement we had deliberately made. It was our +unexpected luck not to suffer more than we did. In the end, instead of +declining upon a lower level in the matter of the next appointment, it +fell to our lot to be promoted to what I think was considered at the +time the most important country parish in the diocese. + +Here, at anyrate, there was no fault to find with the parsonage house, +unless one objected to its lonely situation--which we did not. As a +parsonage house it was unique in Victoria, and I believe in Australia. +The wayfaring stranger might have taken it for but another station +homestead, on a smaller scale than most; as a fact, he frequently did, +in the person of the professional sundowner. + +We did not go there at once on leaving B----. Our first welcome was to +one of the "mansions" in its neighbourhood--the seat, as it might be +called, of the new squire of the parish--and such was the treatment we +received in it that we remained there as visitors for nearly half a +year. The lady of the house was young, and we became friends. She +said, "Why should I be here by myself, while you are over there by +yourself? Let us keep each other company." Never did I live in such +utter ease and luxury. Men and maid-servants to wait on one at every +turn, and to pet the year-old baby so that even her nurse found her +place a sinecure; a dear old housekeeper continually pursuing me with +"nourishment"; daily drives with my hostess, alone or with a cavalcade +of more ephemeral guests--so numerous that we seemed to have a +dinner-party every night; no domestic cares; no parish work--the +conditions were not only pleasant, but most beneficial to my health. +Meanwhile G. worked the parish from this base, using the horses and +buggies of the establishment as if they were his own. + +From July 25th, 1877, to January 8th of the following year, we lived +this feather-bed life. Then our friends set us gently down upon our +own premises--there had been a doubt as to whether they were to be our +own, up to this time, which partly accounted for the delay--and +started us in life again on our own base. A Brussels carpet from one, +a set of tea-things from another--it was like the going to +housekeeping of the newly-married. The buggy that finally took us to +our fifth home was found on arrival packed with toothsome tokens of +affection which the housekeeper had stuffed in at the last moment. + +That fifth home was a survival of the old, old times--quite the +beginnings of the colony. In those old times, before townships were, +the princely pioneer squatters (our late host the chief), wishing to +have their church represented amongst them, made a first gift for the +purpose of one hundred acres of their fat lands and a house--the +nucleus of this house. It was an inalienable endowment, not to any +parish--for there was none--but to the incumbent for the time being; +so that afterwards, when it came to belong to a parish, whose centre +of town and church was six miles off, the vestry could not turn it +into money, as they desired, so as to bring their parson to +headquarters. + +The first incumbent--a D.D. eminent in the Church and in the history +of the Western District, a pioneer himself, whose name is now +perpetuated in a Trinity College scholarship--began his long ministry +as a missionary at large. He saw all the changes that turned that +fertile wilderness into the garden of Victoria, studded with wealthy +homesteads and prosperous towns, while sitting, as Dik would say, upon +his own valuable bit of it, living the same pastoral life as the +squatters around him. The reader will remember that the term +"squatter," with us, means roughly the landed gentry; in its original +sense the word has no meaning now. + +In his old age Dr R. went "home" for a holiday, leaving two curates in +charge. Shortly before he was expected back, came the news of his +death, and, after a sorrowful time of inaction on the part of the +mourning parish, G. was selected to take his place. It was always +impressed upon us that it was to take his place, not to fill it, which +nobody could do. + +For six years we lived as he lived. Then the authorities six miles off +decided to put an end to the old _regime_. Incumbent No. 3 had to be +brought into line with other incumbents somehow. His property could +not be sold, but apparently (with his consent, I presume) it could be +let; for let it was, as soon as we had vacated it. Tenants of a class +to suit the house needed more than a hundred acres of land with it, so +it was let to a farmer, an ex-free-selector, whose selection adjoined. +He took up his abode in what we called the "old part"--the original +house (our kitchens, store-rooms, etc.), to which, according to Bush +custom, another and better had been attached, the two being connected +by a planked, bark-roofed, trellis-walled passage; and he used my +drawing-room and our other living-rooms to stack his produce in. And +the parson went to live in the town, beside his church--in a +corrugated iron house that was run up for him. + +I am glad it was he--not his predecessor. There is no ill-nature in +this, seeing that he doubtless congratulated himself also. For he +could get daily letters and newspapers, immediate access to the +stores, the schools, the church, the doctor, and next-door neighbours; +whereas we were often in straits owing to our six miles' distance from +them. Between us and the road lay a (to us) bridgeless river--it is +called a river--which it was necessary to pass to get to church and +back, and at the best of times its banks at the crossing-place were so +steep down and up again that I dreaded the spot on a dark night, after +going through it in safety hundreds of times, and after all the +breaking-in to such things that I had had. Its flood-water used to +overflow into what we called our "lane," the unavoidable approach to +the house, covering the fences on either side in the lower parts, +which between-whiles were either soft bogs or rough ruts and ridges +like those of a frosted ploughed field. Owing to these lions in the +path, we had few visitors in winter. In summer there were Bush +fires--of which I will say more presently. + +Then there were long waits for the doctor in dire emergencies, and +per-mile fees (if the doctor were non-Church-of-England, or you could +successfully save yourself from taking charity) for his tardy +attendance. Our groom nearly killed a pair of horses one night--when a +commonplace domestic event was impending--trying to make them do +twelve miles in time that would but comfortably cover four. One day my +nurse and I found a white speck on the throat of the youngest baby, +when no man or buggy or even wood-cart was at home. While I looked at +my devoted colleague in despair she began briskly to gather and tie on +our respective hats. "We have to get him to the doctor somehow," said +she. And off we started, and carried him (he was then twenty-one +months old), turn and turn about, the whole six miles, all up-hill, +since there was practically no alternative. As it chanced, the doctor, +when we got to him--dead beat as ever women were--laughed at the +baby's throat; but the incident illustrates some of the drawbacks of +our isolated life which were not suffered by our successors. + +Household supplies had to be laid in wholesale--sacks of sugar and +flour, chests of tea, boxes of kerosene and candles. We had to make +our own bread, and our own yeast for it; we had to kill our own mutton +and dress it; gather our own firewood and chop it. This meant keeping +a man (for the first time); beside whom we had a general servant, a +nurse, and a young lady companion. + +The kitchen party were not at all lonely in these wilds. They had +friends on the neighbouring stations and farms, with whom they +foregathered in their leisure hours; they had many picnics and +excursions to the town; they gave a ball every Christmas (which rather +scandalised a section of the parish, although the rigid etiquette +observed at them might have been copied with advantage in higher +circles), and were tendered balls in return. At ordinary times they +seemed sufficient for themselves. Sitting in my detached house of an +evening, I would hear cheerful sounds from the other building, and, +being mysteriously summoned thither, would find the groom, with his +concertina, playing reels and jigs for the little ones to dance to, +the dancing-mistresses standing by to enjoy the achievements of their +pupils and the surprise they had prepared for me. + +A new member was added to the household in a singular manner. The +selectors with families needed a school. To get a school, Government +had to be assured that so many children--twenty-five or +thereabouts--were entitled to it; and the parents came to ask if we +would aid them to make up the number. Our three were babies, and we +certainly did not mean to foist them on the State for their education, +but we somehow reconciled it with our consciences to sign the +requisition on our poorer neighbours' behalf. Thus they got their +school--a tiny white wooden building, and one teacher. The building, +consisting of schoolroom and teacher's quarters, was set up on the +public highway, just outside our outer gate, on the bank of the +so-called river (where the bridge was), a night camping-place of all +the teamsters and drovers on the road; and the teacher appointed to +live there, beyond call of any other house, was a good-looking young +woman. + +She came to us one day in great distress--perplexity, rather, for she +was far too sensible to make a fuss. She could not, under the +circumstances, live alone in her school quarters, and she had tried in +vain to find lodgings in the farmers' cottages: they were all too +small and full. What should she do? + +She was an extremely nice girl, and, finding we could solve her +difficulty in no other way, we took her in ourselves. Strange to say, +the experiment answered admirably. In the servants' house there was a +large spare room, which had once been Dr R.'s study. We put a screen +across the middle of it, made a bedroom behind and a simple +sitting-room in front, and there installed her. She attended to her +own little housework, and the servants took her in her meals from the +adjacent kitchen--a job to which they had no objection in the world; +and she used to sit in her basket-chair on their common verandah and +pass the time of day with them when so inclined, and adjusted herself +to the position generally with perfect taste, just as they did. To us +personally she made no difference whatever, except in her services to +the children. She paid us the trifle that covered the cost of her +board, and as a further return for hospitality took the two older +little ones to school with her once a day, taught and specially +shepherded them while there, and brought them back again. So, by +accident, we kept faith with the Government after all; and anything +like the rapidity and thoroughness with which all the drudgery of the +three R's was got through in that little school-house I never saw. I +used to walk over the paddock of an afternoon to see the process. We +made a new track across the paddock with our goings and comings, the +home-returning before nursery tea being usually a family procession, +led by the baby's perambulator. We were amused one wet winter to find +Miss C. and her charges making a bridge of a bullock's carcase that +conveniently spanned a muddy rift. They went over it, they said, until +the ribs bent too much and threatened to "let them through." + +Besides the milking cows of the establishment, we always had a herd of +bullocks on the place. We bought them as "store," intending to sell +them as "fats"--intending, indeed, to make our fortunes as land-owners +and cattle-dealers. Our hundred acres were notoriously one of the rich +patches of the district, coveted by our wealthy neighbours as badly as +ever Ahab coveted Naboth's vineyard; anything could be made of it--on +paper. + +Alas! the usual fate of the amateur farmer befell us. Perhaps we were +not there long enough. Certainly we had the worst of luck in the +matter of seasons. It was one long series of droughts, punctuated by +those floods already alluded to, which came at the wrong time to +benefit the grass. The store cattle would not make fat, on which we +could make profit; the precious "water-frontage," when it became a +rope of sand threaded with water-holes, unfenced one side of the +property, allowing the stock to stray at large. The stock, also, by +degrees became largely composed of unproductive horses, those +happening to be G.'s special weakness and temptation. He had an +assortment, continually being added to, for his own riding, and we had +two concurrent pairs for the buggy; the groom had one or two for his +constant journeys to the post, and there was one for the wood-cart. +They were for ever going to be shod, or they met with accidents and +had to be replaced. The most valuable that we ever possessed was +pricked in the haunch with a point of fencing wire--a wound almost +invisible to the naked eye--and died of lockjaw from it. + +Finally, we let fifty acres to a real farmer at L1 per acre. He +strongly fenced this off, and grew lovely crops of corn on it. And I +think that was about all the "increment" we enjoyed. + +Here we learned something of what Bush settlers have to suffer in our +frequent years of drought. We had a large underground rain tank, with +a pump to it, but there were times when it seemed a perfect sin to +wash. Our selector neighbours had only their zinc tanks and the +river--muddy, and fouled by creatures alive and dead; and the nurse +and children used to make it an object of their summer evening walks +to carry little cans of water to their friends, to make at least one +nice cup of tea with. It was regarded as a handsome present. Hydatids +raged over the country-side. Two of our servants (who married each +other, and went to live at the school-house by the river, in Miss C.'s +empty quarters) were crippled with the disease. + +"The reservoiring of rain-water is the greatest economic question in +South Africa," says the Subaltern in those charming _Letters to His +Wife_. "At present little or nothing is done to combat drought." The +same here, to the very word and letter. Another thing he says:--"After +all, it is the atmospheric conditions that make the veldt, and give +their character to its children." That applies as exactly to the +Australian Bush. + +A young soldier of ours came home from the war the other day. He had +been in seventy-five engagements, and might reasonably have felt a +little sick of South Africa. But no. "When it is all over, I am going +back there to settle," said he. "The climate and the country--somehow +they just suit me." + +Those hills around us, in formation like bread-dough turned out upon +the board and just beginning to sink--low and softly wavy, like the +Sussex Downs--were as good as tropical seas for the sun to set on, and +better. Such lights! Such tints! Such purity! Apply to them the +Subaltern's description of the uplands of the Orange River Colony--of +the sunset that he saw as he rode to Bloemfontein--and there you are. +I need not add a word. + +We were very close to Nature at this place. The wild things lived with +us even more intimately than at Como. Opossums did not keep to the +river; they loved the fruity old garden, and stuck to it in spite of +dogs and guns. Driving home o' nights we used to see them sitting on +the house roofs, silhouetted against the sky, and they used to keep us +awake with their talk to each other in a tree near our bedroom window. +On one occasion we were roused by the nurse calling to us that a +'possum had come down the chimney, and was flying round the nursery +and smashing everything. A candle and a stick soon ended the career of +that enterprising little animal. + +We had all the birds of the country flighting over us in the grey +dawns and the golden twilights. The lovely gabble of the cranes and +the wild swans comes back to me whenever I think of the place. My +diary records that on one occasion we had a young native companion, +"roast, with forcemeat," for dinner, and that it was "delicious." Also +that, two days later, we experimented upon a swan, and found it "not +so good." The gun, of course, went out for duck and snipe and quail in +their season, to vary the too-constant mutton. They were not easy to +get, for this is no true game country, but those huge sheep stations, +with their lonely dams, were practically wild country for them. + +In the elbow of the river at the corner of our paddock we used to +watch for the platypus, which had a home there, under the broken +banks. Four of these precious rarities were shot in the six years--we +are sorry for that now, but were proud of it at the time--and the +house smelt horribly while their dense, oily coats were being stripped +off and dressed. The same river provided a beautiful set of furs for +my friend at M----; they were made of the golden-brown skins of +water-rats, caught and cured for her by her butler. There, too, we +used to sit amid the evening mosquitoes, and angle for black-fish and +"yabbies." It was a corner much beloved by school-boys of our +acquaintance with Saturday afternoons or long twilights upon their +hands. One young fellow, the son of a lawyer in the town, spent many +patient hours there, all alone; but we, prolonging his enjoyment by +the offer of a meal or a bed, would sometimes look on at his tranquil +sport, amused by his methods. When he needed to bait a hook, he bent +the crown of his head earthward and took off his cap gingerly, +afterwards combing his rough locks with his grubby paw. He kept his +worms there, between his cap lining and his hair; it saved the trouble +of a bait-can. When he caught a fish, he slipped it into his pocket, +where it tangled itself with his handkerchief and oddments in its +dying throes. We were somewhat nicer in our proceedings. Neat little +blobs of meat at the end of strings were let down into the water, and +when the tiny cray-fish fastened upon them they were lifted delicately +into the air, the whole art consisting in not frightening them into +dropping off until the bank was under them. Nothing messy or murderous +or offensive to the sensibilities of women and children--until the +black creatures were boiled red for tea or breakfast, and that was +done by the cook in private, and we tried not to know anything about +it. A few dozens of them, warm from the pot, with bread and butter, +made a delicious meal. + +But Nature took toll of us in return for what she gave. Eagle-hawks, +that hankered after the lambs, and their lesser brethren that were +interested in the poultry, hares that loved young vegetables with the +morning dew upon them, nocturnal wildcats, and the tame cats gone wild +that were far worse than they--for them, too, the gun was kept in +readiness, and, alas! I grieve to say, the trap. Once we had an +extraordinary visitation of caterpillars; a dense, enormous mass, +marching straight in one direction, taking everything as it came. We +were in its path, and, until it had disentangled itself from the +premises, were simply overwhelmed. We barricaded all doors and +windows; we tried, like so many Mrs Partingtons, to sweep back the +living waves with brooms--in vain; those little, soft, green things +were as irresistible as the sea. We ran about, shuddering and in +tears, while they crawled up legs and arms, and down necks, and +amongst our hair; we went into the dairy to find them lining roofs and +walls and drowning all over the cream in every milk-pan--went to bed +to find sheets and pillows thick with them. No plague of Egypt could +have been more agonising while it lasted, which, fortunately, was not +long. They did not even stay to eat the garden up, as the grasshoppers +did when similarly out on a big march. Some end they had in view and +pursued relentlessly, without a pause. It was a phenomenon never, in +my experience, repeated or explained. + +But the terror of terrors was--fire. The land was rich, the years were +droughty, and we the innocent victims of a systematic incendiarism +directed against somebody else. The somebody else was like the Russian +Government, all palace and diamonds at the top and all black bread and +taxes at the bottom; or like the Government that we here groan under, +which acts upon the theory that the more you cut down trade the more +money you will get out of it. A station that "marched" with our +Naboth's vineyard had a black mark against it. + +Why does the Australian pastoralist provide free board and lodging +for every loafer that comes for them, instead of kicking him out and +telling him to go to work? Because he knows how easily and safely the +loafer could avenge himself if sent empty away--and how well the +loafer knows that he knows it. There is a tacit understanding between +them. The wise blackmailer is easy in his demands--the regulation +allowance and no more--and the blackmailed is glad to purchase +valuable good-will at no greater cost. It is one of the oldest +institutions of the country, which even we upon our hundred acres +would not have dared to flout. Our wealthy but frugal neighbour did, +as we were told, and reaped the consequences--which would not have +mattered much if the undeserving poor had not stood in the path of the +reaper. Thus, for weeks together, G. and his man never put up their +horses at night until they had circled round and round the place, +looking for little trails of dead sticks and straw carefully led into +a fat paddock that was not ours, as a fuse to a mine. One Sunday +night, on the way home from church, without looking for them--because +they were all alight, though refusing to burn effectively without a +wind--he found three. + +This was in what we call the "fire year." That summer we had ten in +almost ten consecutive days, each of which menaced the mass of old +sun-dried woodwork in which we lived. Two horses stood ready to mount +at the first signal, every homestead around being similarly prepared. +We slept with blinds up and windows open, and anyone waking would at +once jump up and go out and look into the night for the dreaded flare. +No matter where it was, or when, the men were off to it with the speed +of professional firemen; and if it was near, or the wind towards us, +we women started to make bucketsful of tea to send out to them. +Helpless with a new-born baby, I used to lie and smell the smoke and +listen to the flap of the bags, and wonder what was happening, and +nearly died from want of rest. One morning one of us unluckily +remarked that "actually here was breakfast nearly over, and no fire!" +Scarcely were the words uttered before the groom appeared with his +"Fire, sir!" and the next instant both were galloping across the +downs, to join other horsemen converging from all points of the +compass upon the same spot. It was Saturday morning, and that battle +lasted into Sunday, when we could have walked, we were told, ten miles +in a straight line from our back door without going off burnt ground. +One other morning, when I was well enough for a drive and wanted to do +some shopping, and it seemed safe to leave home for an hour or two, G. +took me to the township. We were hurrying through our business in the +street when a man came up and said to G., "There's a fire over your +way, sir." We had a pair of very fast horses, and we flew down those +hills in record time. Reaching home, we found our good neighbours +pouring water over the charred posts of the garden fence. + +Of course, this was not all incendiarism. Even the aggrieved sundowner +is not so bad as that. Under suitable conditions, nothing is easier +than to start a blaze that flies out of your hand before you see the +spark. A castaway bottle, a little ash knocked out of a pipe, will do +it. My own eyes have proved to me from what a small cause a great +conflagration may result. A cavalcade of vehicles from M----, while +we were staying there, was on the road to church; it was a well-used, +fenced Bush road, all dust and wild peppermint weed--a fire-break in +itself, one would have thought. But I, in the second buggy, saw a +flicker under the wheel of the first; it ran from one scrap of tinder +to another and was away over the country before one could draw breath. +"Like wildfire" is the best image for speed that I know. It used to +pour over those grassy rises just as released water does, a spreading +black stream with a scintillating yellow edge; not a menace to life as +in forest country, but sickening to the heart of one who knows his +home to windward of it, and knows the frailty of the most +carefully-prepared "break." The buggies were stopped, the men in their +Sunday coats out and after it on the instant, but there was no church +that day for any male of the party except the parson. An examination +of the spot where the fire started showed that the buggy wheel had +passed over a wax match. The unwritten law of the Bush is that no +matches must come into it, at these times, except the wooden ones +guaranteed to strike on the box only. + +The "fire year"--or the fire summer rather (1879-80)--is literally +burnt into my memory. Now, when I smell Bush smoke I feel as I would +at the sudden sight of blood in large quantities. All those old scenes +come back, and the old terror of the nerves, which were strained so +long that the effect upon me was something like what in pre-scientific +days was called going into a decline. My strength refused to return +after the birth of the child that arrived in the middle of the ordeal, +so that at last I had to be sent away out of sight, sound, and smell +of the place, to give me a chance to recover. But the worst was over +before I went. We were sitting at tea one night--evening dinners, by +the way, had early been given up--when there suddenly fell upon our +ears the sound of rain pattering. We nearly jumped from our chairs; we +looked at each other, beyond speech; and then I burst into a fit of +hysterical tears--some of the happiest I ever shed. + +In the evening a neighbour rode over--for the first time, as he +remarked, without his sack on the saddle, and for the first time on +any errand unconnected with its use. We had all been keeping guard of +our homes for weeks that had seemed years, friends meeting only on the +field of battle--as heroic a field of battle as those that our +"contingenters" went to, and better than the playing-fields of Eton as +a preparation for them; but we were free at last. And we could hardly +realise it. All the evening we sat, almost in silence, inanely +smirking at each other and listening to the rain. It was too sweet a +sound to drown with talk. + +The "old parsonage" was (allowing again for the enchantment that +distance lends) a charming home; but it had that against it. I have +been glad ever since to live where there is nothing more to do than +turn the gas off at the meter when one goes to bed. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +THE SIXTH HOME + + +The charms of solitude at "The Old Parsonage" were outweighed by its +disadvantages when I became that miserable creature, the confirmed +invalid. The fire danger which made me nervous in summer was bad for +health; the silence and loneliness of the winters, when nobody came, +were worse. My husband, of course, was much away from home; the +servants lived in their detached house; and so good and capable were +they that for a time--after the elder babies began to go with Miss C. +to school--I saved the expense of my dear little lady-help, who, +however, came back to me later on. It was only with the greatest +difficulty that I could get hold of my own children. Their devoted +nurse and mine, already mentioned, watched us like a cat to keep us +apart, lest their exuberance should fatigue me. The hour before tea +(not afternoon tea, but the solid evening meal) was grudgingly +conceded to us. Maria--she, like Dik, is dead, and I may give her the +name now held in so much love and honour--would then bring them, +beautifully brushed and garbed (she used to put clean socks and +pinafores on them twice a day, although there was nobody but ourselves +to see them), to my sofa side, and permit us to play together, +provided we behaved ourselves. All the while she hovered in the +doorway to see that I was not clambered over or roughly handled in any +way, and long before time was up would advance to sweep them out, with +her "Come now, I can see that mother is getting tired." She saw it +before I did. They were as good as gold, thanks to her splendid +training. Never were such model children--until the day that, as a +broken-hearted bride, she parted from them, when they "played up" in a +manner to drive the house distracted. When they had their little aches +and pains, and I used to beg Maria to let them sleep in my room, she +would not allow it. Many a time have I surreptitiously carried a +fretful child to my bed, and settled down with it comfortably, as I +thought, and then had it gently but firmly taken from me, despite my +expostulations. I had, at anyrate, the comfort of knowing that no +mother could tend them better than she did, and the theory of the +household that I was not strong enough to stand anything had some +foundation in fact. But my inactive life--although I still got through +a large amount of sewing and novel-writing--and my many hours of +brooding solitude, had their own bad effect upon my broken health. +There came a day when I declared, with tears, that if I had to spend +another winter in that place I should go melancholy mad. + +So I did not spend another. G. also had had enough of it. And +particularly he wanted to get back to the Melbourne diocese, from +which he had been automatically expelled. But although he had been +automatically expelled, his old diocese held him to be a legal +stranger when he applied for re-admittance. It had a regulation, since +abrogated, that no clergyman from outside could take a living until he +had served unbeneficed for a year; and no exception was made in his +peculiar case. However, we freely paid the price to get our +way--exchanged our substantial parish, secure for life, had we so +willed it, for a humble curacy, which might lead to anything or +nothing--and on the 16th of November 1883 left the old parsonage for a +home that was the greatest possible contrast to it--a grubby little +terrace house in a low part of one of our premier cities--a house we +had to take as the only one in our new parish that was then available. +Our principal occupation and amusement during the short time that we +lived there was hunting for another, which fortunately we had not +found when the summons came to us again to move on. + +But there was an interval between the uprooting in the Western +District and the re-planting in this cramped spot--for the children +and me. The elder ones were placed with some friends who kept a +kindergarten at the seaside, and the baby and Maria accompanied me on +a round of visits which lasted into January of the following year. +This was perhaps the gayest period of my life, in spite of increasing +invalidism. Socially it was the most brilliant era that Victoria has +known in my time, and I was so placed that the best of everything came +my way. The house that was my town head-quarters for many years then +possessed its magnet of a daughter--now on the roll of the grandees of +England, by her marriage an aunt to Royalty--and wherever she was, +there was good company and plenty of it, for she had her pick and +choice. And there for the time being was I also, for we were close +friends, as we remain to this day, none of the usual arguments of the +world against it having had any effect upon that faithful heart. + +And this reminds me to make--as in these intimate disclosures I have +an opportunity to do--a little explanation. When I wrote a novel +called _The Devastators_, I knew that I was laying down a rule +contradicted in my own circle by two glaring exceptions. This bright +and beautiful woman is one of them; the other is a person still nearer +to me. I had to apologise to both of them when that book came out. +From their childhood they have been exposed to flatteries that should +have spoiled them utterly; both have proved unspoilable. In the case +of one of the pretty faces, it does not even care to look at itself in +the glass; the mere ordinary vanity of the ordinary female is lacking. +So that to this large extent my theory of the effect of physical charm +upon its possessor is discredited. While I am glad to state the fact, +I am sorry to remain of the opinion that such exceptions are +exceptions, and that the rule is still the rule. + +With the elder of the incorruptible pair--the younger was then a small +child--I had great times in Melbourne, varying my social revels with a +visit to the doctor twice or thrice a week. The distinguished +globe-trotter was plentiful at that time. Lord and Lady Rosebery, +amongst others, were touring the colonies and the houses of some of my +friends. At one I spent three days with them. At another I had a still +more interesting week-end with Archibald Forbes. He came nearest to +the popular newspaper presentment of him, but I have little faith left +in printed history when it deals with the inner lives of my +illustrious contemporaries; from which it logically follows that I am +a hopeless sceptic in respect of the printed history of the past. "It +may have been thus," think I, when I con the so-called authentic +records of my race in this or that particular, "but I wish I could +have been there to see for myself." + +It is not for me, a fellow-guest, to play reporter, but some incidents +of those occasions when I could study England and Australia in +conjunction upon the domestic stage may be mentioned without offence +to taste or hospitality. For instance:--One fine afternoon the +house-party, which included the Roseberys, went out to the tennis +ground of the establishment. When we arrived there we found the +beautiful grass court, kept like a bowling green, in the possession of +a crowd of strangers, holiday trippers of the 'Arry and 'Arriet type; +they had invaded the grounds from the railway near by, had found +racquets and balls, and were in the middle of an exciting game. Did +they scurry away, scared, on the appearance of the smart folks from +the house? Did anybody order them off, or even request them to desist? +Not a bit of it. They calmly continued their game, which took a long +time, while we sat down meekly and waited. When they had quite done +they trooped away without a word, and then Lord Rosebery wearily took +up his racquet and started in. Typically Australian as this incident +was, I cannot imagine it happening to those older great houses spoken +of in a former chapter--houses of no particular size, as far as their +material fabric is concerned, and with no liveried servants attached +to them, but of a dignity secure of public respect, even in this +disrespectful country. + +Male house-servants, by the way, and men's valets, seem to me quite +out of harmony with the domestic traditions of this land. With us they +mark no caste, save that of wealth, and belong mainly to those who do +not know what to do with them. I have sat at breakfast with a regiment +of men in full-dress livery in waiting round the table--a degree of +state that, to the best of my belief, an English duke dispenses +with--and this in a house with no morning-room to go to when breakfast +was over, but only the same gilded and satiny drawing-room used +over-night; and where guests who had never done such a thing in their +lives might find themselves put to sleep in the same room with +strangers. A young titled Englishman, to whom this happened, cut his +acquaintance with the place in consequence, although his entertainers +never knew it. My "old families" are very chary of these exotic +innovations, and, whatever one's aristocratic leanings, it does hurt +one to think of an Australian man--synonym for simple and hardy +manliness--submitting to be dressed and coddled by a trousered +lady's-maid, and to think of another Australian man condescending to +that sort of servitude. But no Australian man does condescend to it, I +am sure; the Australian valet, as well as his liveried house-mates, is +an imported article. + +Against the lady's-maid in petticoats, who outnumbers him a hundred to +one, I have nothing to say--quite the contrary. She is a "grateful and +comforting" institution in this country, so far as I have known her, +and three representatives of her class are on my list of friends. I +like a lady's-maid myself at times, and my own Maria took up the +_role_ as one to the manner born when she and I were visiting "the +quality" together. She packed and unpacked, and sewed tuckers, and +laid out my evening clothes, and was as jealous of my dignity and her +own, amongst strange servants, as if we had been grandees all our +lives. I was envied the possession of her. "How do you come to have a +woman like that?" said a person of wealth and consequence to me one +day. "Why doesn't she go to the good houses? She would be snapped up +anywhere. She could command any wages she liked to ask." "Well," said +I, with a serene smile, "you offer her a better place. I will not +stand in her way if she likes to take it." Maria's father was overseer +of a great station, and she had never been in service until she came +to me. I knew no bribe short of a husband and home of her own would +entice her to leave me. + +Charming associations surround the spot where I foregathered with the +great war correspondent. There is a Mount--for it is not quite a +mountain, while it is much more than a hill--situated forty-four miles +from Melbourne and about seventeen hundred feet above it. In its +natural state every inch was covered with forest trees and scrub, so +that our mutual friend and host, who was one of the first to make a +residential suburb of it, had to chop out a hole in the dense growth +upon the steep hill-side to see where he was, when prospecting for a +site on which to make a home. That home, when I began to frequent it, +had become the show-place of the district. The pretty house made no +pretensions to be more than a cottage, but the garden was notoriously +one of the loveliest in the land. Its owner was a gardener born; he +came up twice a week to his family from his business in town and his +bachelor quarters at the Melbourne Club, and revelled in his darling +pursuit through all his leisure hours. His head gardener was an +importation from famous gardens at home; he had a salary of L200 a +year, a house in the grounds, and two men under him; and all their +work was exquisite. The garden dropped down and down, from the terrace +that had been cut for the house to stand on, to an artificial lake at +the bottom--velvet lawns and precious trees and shrubs, with a "fern +gully" on one side of it, where you stepped down a glade dark with +arching fronds, protecting thickets of innumerable rare varieties, +from New Zealand and elsewhere, kept moist and cooled by a perennial +cascade of crystal-clear mountain water, punctuated at intervals by +pools with goldfish or water-flowers in them. In the spring that fairy +tunnel was carpeted with lilies of the valley in myriads--the only +place where I have seen them growing in this country, except in +flower-pots. Up under the verandah roofs red bells of lapageria used +to hang like a drapery, and the treasures of the unpretentious glass +houses into which the sitting-rooms opened were beyond count. It was a +fitting environment for one of the finest flower-painters of her +day--known far beyond the limits of these realms, as, indeed, so is +the place which reared her. Many a globe-trotter would recall it if he +chanced to read these words. The Prince of Wales and his brother, when +they were boys, stayed here; their noble chief took the opportunity to +choose a wife for himself out of the house, a sister of the gifted +lady who painted flowers so marvellously, and with whom Archibald +Forbes fell--in a strictly platonic fashion, of course, for she was +already married and he about to become so for the second time--so +deeply in love. He raved about her in an English magazine article +after he got home. He said she was ... but there is the article (in a +bound volume) to speak for itself. + +It was winter when I went to this house to meet him. Beautiful as the +place was in warmer seasons, abloom with flowers, when one sat under +trees to read, and, looking up from one's book, looked down again upon +the glimmering city and the sea fifty miles away, I think it was in +winter that I liked it best. Oh, it was cold! Wrapped about with +mountain mists or with whirling snow, it was like an Alpine _chalet_; +but one came in out of this weather to great wood-fires with cushioned +basket-chairs beside them--a fire to each room--and that was an effect +that could not have been surpassed. It poured with rain on the night I +speak of. I was staying at a neighbouring country-house, and joined +the Saturday party coming up from town at a wayside station. A son of +my host, who had been through the Russo-Turkish war with Archibald +Forbes--one on one side, one on the other--was with them; and fine +company they made, with their deadly reminiscences. They had met on +the bloody field of Plevna, the most vivid incident of which, it +appeared, was a banquet upon a looted German sausage (I think it was) +when both were starving. + +We passed, in dripping mackintoshes, across the little platform lonely +in the scrub--there is a considerable station there now, and the Mount +is populous with country-houses--to the covered waggonette awaiting +us. Up the steep and miry Bush track, then like any other Bush track, +the poor horses strained and struggled, slipped and fell. The men had +to get out and do the climb on foot. It was pitchy dark, and the trees +closed us round. But presently we turned in at a gate and passed +through the perfect garden to the lighted house--the blazing bedroom +fire to dress by, the glowing drawing-room hearth to gather around +afterwards, the exhilarating dinner and evening talk. Mr Forbes had +just come from New Zealand, and that country had enchanted him. He had +roamed the earth--Switzerland, Norway, the Rockies, the Yosemite, all +the famous beauty spots--but never, he declared, had he seen anything +to match New Zealand scenery. A coach drive through the Otira Gorge +had simply turned his head. The husband of the flower-painter had +captained British troops in the Maori wars, and the house happened to +possess a fine collection of New Zealand photographs, bound in several +volumes. These I spent a long Sunday morning over, while Mr Forbes +descanted upon the pages as I turned them. I made a promise to myself +and him that not many years should pass before I saw the originals of +those pictures, but--as a matter of course--I have not seen them yet. +In my sadder moments I am convinced that I never shall. There was no +church upon the mountain then--only a little school-house where, on +alternate Sunday afternoons, an Anglican clergyman took a turn with +his Presbyterian brother; on such occasions we ladies of the house +brushed through the bracken-fern and woodland scrub to the humble +tabernacle. My hostess played the harmonium; the potential Personage +of the family led the singing. But on this wet and wintry Sunday we +stayed at home. I had much friendly intercourse with our chief guest, +and we corresponded afterwards. This was about four months before the +gay time which included the Rosebery episode. + +The diversions of that gay time soon palled upon me. I was glad to +exchange my camp in town--lap of love as well as luxury though it +was--for a home of my own, however 'umble. We collected ourselves in +the little terrace house, which managed to hold us, a governess for +the children included; and as soon as she had made us as comfortable +as she could, Maria's ill-used young man came for her, and we lost a +friend who could never be replaced. The 20th of February 1884 was her +wedding-day, and no obsequies were ever celebrated with more pangs and +tears. + +Miss P., the new governess, was a treasure notwithstanding. A curate +brother (he is a portly canon now), who wanted her for his +housekeeper, reft her from me three months afterwards; and she is +married, I hear, this long time, and I hope the man who has got her +appreciates his luck. She had a handful with those children after +Maria's influence was removed, but the way she managed them (in that +confined space) made me envious of her moral vigour and the texture of +her nerves. + +When they were all disposed of for the night she and I used to take +walks together. In my state of health, especially in the hot +weather--and that was a particularly hot place--dressing and calling +were too much for me; I waited until after dark, and then went out in +about three garments, the most delightful costume that I ever wore in +my life, and one to which I look back now with regret and longing +unspeakable. Oh, why can we not relieve the inescapable fatigue of +life in that way always, and not only for a few brief hours in thirty +years! It was the heavenly fashion then to wear a long, light, loose +paletot of China silk--the early dust-coat, before it had been +spoiled. It buttoned at the throat and all down the front to the hem, +which cleared the ground by about three inches. It had roomy pockets +outside; the sleeves were roomy also; there was no need to wear a +dress under it, nor anything whatever round the waist. I did not, and +so walked with the sensations (as I should imagine them) of a +disembodied spirit. + +Night after night, in this delicious liberty, we roamed that city +everywhere. It is a big city--the third in the state--with its due +proportion of dens and slums, of drunks and larrikins, but there was +not a hole or corner that we feared or had cause to fear. She, calm, +strong, protective, was the man of the pair; I, with my hand on her +arm, could wish no better. It was our joy to wander in the most +out-of-the-way places, and to find a new one if possible every night. +We watched trains from black railway embankments; we sat in the public +gardens away from lamps and out of call of people; we poked into blind +alleys and prowled over deserted mines--and we were never molested or +annoyed by anybody or anything. One day we read, with high +indignation, a letter in the newspaper which represented the town as +so rowdy at night-time that it was not safe for decent people to be +abroad. I became a newspaper controversialist myself, for once, in +order to confute that gratuitous liar, who, I am quite sure, was not a +decent person. The manners of our people may not be superfine, and in +fact they are not--there was no justification for the fastidiousness +of some persons who could not see any good in Archibald Forbes because +he drank his tea out of the saucer instead of the cup--but in the +conduct at the back of manners I have always found them decent to the +decent, in whatever walk of life. + +The pokiness of the poky house did not trouble me, but its situation +was detestable. Never will I live in a terrace house again, if I can +help it. I used to hunt in vain for a quiet corner to write in, for I +am not like my friend, "Rolf Boldrewood," who can calmly pursue his +literary labours in a roomful of noisy family. If I settled myself at +the rear of the premises, the maid next door would take the +opportunity to sing in her back-yard at the top of her voice, and, in +view of the performances of the children in mine, I was not in a +position to expostulate. If I fled to the front, I was distracted with +the rattle of the street and the horrible jingle of a public-house +piano out of tune. In the stilly night one had sometimes to bury one's +head in the bed-clothes to avoid hearing the conversations of the +husband and wife in the next house. Their window was close alongside +ours, and we had to open them in summer to enable us to breathe. Twice +a week or so G. used to go out with his broom and pail of +disinfectant, and, starting at the top of the terrace, flush and sweep +the main gutter of all the houses down to the bottom--and then was +summoned for creating a nuisance, because the overflow of a +neighbour's nastiness, from an unreachable source, was detected in our +ground. We had good reason to believe that this deadly insult (to +persons who made domestic sanitation a fad, if not a passion) was +contrived as a punishment for his impertinence in meddling with other +people's drains. One or two of them used to stand at their yard doors +and look at him sourly while he was doing it, but it was the only way +of cleansing our own. + +In spite of these drawbacks, our sojourn here was pleasant. There was +no hardship in being curate to such an incumbent as Archdeacon M'C., +beloved by all who knew him. The taste of town life was sweet, after +so many years of rural isolation. My friends were near, dropping in +continually, between one train and another, as they passed up and down +on the railway; and, best of all, there were the most "filling" +library and reading-rooms, conveniently near to me, that I had ever +had the run of. My pleasantest memories of this particular year are of +that institution and the grave, grey, bookish old librarian, who did +all he knew to make it delightful to me. Though I never saw him after +'84, he has his place in the little company of true friends made for +life; "gone, but not forgotten," as the obituary column says of a baby +buried yesterday--I have not forgotten him in seventeen years, nor +ever shall. We used to talk books by the hour when he was disengaged. +He hoarded volumes for me in the secret recesses of his desk, and of +the new publications coming in I always had my choice before they were +put upon the shelves. It mattered not that I was entitled to but one +or two at a time, the more I would accept in excess of my allowance, +the better he was pleased. Sometimes he left them at my door on his +way home to bed, although my door was out of his road. And I never was +at a loss for recreation with those reading-rooms to browse in--green +pastures and still waters for the fattening and refreshing of mind and +soul. They alone would have made any place good to live in. + +Just before Christmas, 1884, Bishop Moorhouse offered G. the parish +which was our favourite of the whole series--for six months. A +clergyman in England, belonging to one of our old families, already +mentioned, had a wish to return to his own people. He offered himself +unconditionally to the Bishop of Melbourne, who responded by +appointing him to this parish, up in the northeastern mountain +country, in the neighbourhood of our early homes; and G. was to take +charge of it until its incumbent-elect was ready. The latter, finding +it beneath his expectations, and being simultaneously offered a London +living, decided, after long deliberations, to remain where he was; and +we, who went there for six months, stayed nine years. It was so +congenial a place, that when (June 12, 1885) news came up to us that +the Board of Nominators in Melbourne had elected G. to the incumbency, +we said to each other that we had nothing left to wish for. To be safe +and settled once more had been our anxious desire for some months; we +now felt that if we had had our choice of all the districts and +dwellings in the diocese, we could not have suited ourselves better. + +But first we had to pay toll--heavy toll. My health continued to fail, +so that I could not enjoy my pretty home, and the end of years of +stop-gap doctoring was the announcement that it was useless, and that +radical measures must be resorted to. On March 9, 1886, I was +deposited in a private hospital in Melbourne, fully aware of the fact +that my case was considered serious enough to make it as likely as not +that I should die there. Of all the black hours of my life, I think +that was the worst--when my husband had said good-bye to me and gone +back to the children whom I dared not hope to see again, and I was +left to my hard fate (on a very hard bed) amongst cold-eyed strangers +to whom I was of no account whatever, except in the way of business. +Once, when I was a child under governesses, I took a violent fancy to +go to boarding-school; I pestered doting parents until they +reluctantly acceded to my wish; but no sooner was it realised than I +began to weep and pine away with a home-sickness that could only be +cured by fetching me back again--I think at the end of the first +quarter. That brief experience of exile from the Place of Love faintly +foreshadowed my mental sufferings--worse than the physical ones, which +were indeed no joke--under this bitterer separation; yet both school +and hospital did their best for me, and were governed with all the +kindness and good-will that discipline and the general conditions +admitted of. + +For months, that seemed years, I was imprisoned in the latter +place--even now I cannot pass it without a shudder, a thrill of +thankfulness to be outside instead of in--and I was then sent forth +with a reprieve only, and not a full discharge. The nurse, strange to +say, gave me the hint that I should probably "die of it" shortly; the +doctor, appealed to for the honest truth, first abused the nurse for +her indiscretion, and then endorsed her view. But nurses and doctors +have their human limitations; even they don't know everything. The +kindly reader may like to hear that I not only did not die of it, but +am in no danger of ever doing so. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +THE BOOM + + +I am not going to disgust the patient reader with sick-room talk. But +certain facts connected with my hospital life bear directly upon the +object of this book, which is to reflect in my trivial experiences the +character of the country as modified by its circumstances from year to +year. + +I had to pay L6, 6s. per week while an inmate of the house. This sum +did not cover medicines or washing, but board and nursing only. The +doctor who gave me chloroform three times charged me L5, 5s. on the +first occasion, and the same on the second; then his conscience +pricked him, I suppose, for he made me a present of his further +services. The surgeon's fee of L105 was comparatively moderate. _Per +contra_, I had a skimpy bed and room, and just the necessaries of life +as far as nursing was concerned. My nurse had too many other cases in +charge to give more attention to me than was surgically necessary; for +little spongings and pillow-shakings, a clean handkerchief, or such +trifle of comfort, I had to depend upon my friends when they were +allowed to see me. In dangerous crises a night nurse had me in charge; +at ordinary times a lay girl slept in my room. I moped in loneliness +through the greater part of the day, not knowing when I was well off, +until one morning the doctor asked me if I would mind having a +patient in with me, as the house was full. I weakly consented, +although horrified at the idea, and my one luxury of privacy was taken +from me. She was another surgical patient--another poor mother weeping +all the time for her children--and my sufferings on her account, which +included the total banishment of my friends from what was still my own +room, had such a bad effect upon me that they were soon obliged to +remove her. With regard to diet, I could hardly have cost more than +the cat. Fish, rabbit, cow-heel (not poultry) were the strong meats of +my convalescence; most of the time I was on broth and gruel--when not +sucking milk and soda from a spout. Nevertheless, I was no green +victim to experienced rapacity. None of those in whose power I +was--unless it were the chloroformist, who, I have been assured by +competent authority, did exceed his rights a little--took any unfair +advantage of me. The lady at the head of the establishment was a woman +of the very highest character, and is still my dear and honoured +friend; and the last of the facts I will give in connection with this +case is the fact that she could not make the hospital pay, even on +such terms, and although she worked herself to skin and bone to do it. + +Why? Because this was the merry Boom time, when rents were what we now +call "fabulous"--houses letting at three times the present rates--and +the general cost of living in proportion. Her expenditure, kept down +to the lowest limit, was so heavy that her large receipts would not +cover it. + +It is not for me, who never could do sums in my life, to give opinions +on matters of intricate finance that have proved beyond the grasp of +the most hard-headed experts, but no story of the country, or of +anyone living in it during the years when the great Land and Company +Boom occurred, would be complete without some description of that +amazing episode. I can, at least, give an interesting fact or two from +what I know. + +While I was still in my hospital bed, one public authority--not +listened to, of course--was telling the mad land-speculators that +already more allotments had been put up for suburban residences than +would suffice to house the population of London. "When the rage was at +its height, and land-sales and champagne lunches were _de rigueur_ on +Saturday afternoons, every available bit of land in the suburbs was +bought up by syndicates ... orchards were ruthlessly cut down, gardens +uprooted, hedges broken down, and surveyors set to work to mark out +streets and small allotments, while the astonished owners received +small fortunes for the title-deeds. Numbers of these _nouveaux riches_ +are now--this was written in '92--"touring in Europe, or living +comfortably at their ease on competencies thus acquired." But +some--friends of my own amongst them--handed over their properties to +be thus devastated for a further and higher sale, and got only a first +instalment of the purchase-money, or none at all; the "bottom fell +out" of the Boom before they knew it. While those who bought and were +too late to sell again--"witness," says the writer I am quoting, "the +suicides, the deserted homes, the present penury," domestic tragedies +beyond anything that "the pen of fiction" could produce. + +One affair caused much excitement in clerical (Church of England) +circles. Our cathedral was a-building. Dr Moorhouse had started the +work, after a strenuous fight on his part for the site it now +occupies--in the very heart of the busy city, which time has proved to +be the right place--as against one more retired and picturesque, the +land in both cases being Church property from the days of old. The +work, as far as it had gone, represented about L62,000, "when hungry +syndicates were casting about to find city blocks, then considered of +unassailable value," and it was announced in the papers that L300,000 +had been offered for the unfinished building and the land. "The +authorities were informed that even half a million might be +forthcoming, if they would appoint a committee to confer upon the +subject," and, oh, how that golden bait tantalised us all--or nearly +all! Bishop Moorhouse was gone to his see of Manchester, but there +were still a few men strong enough to breast the tide. "A fatal odd +vote," as it was called, saved us, the voter making himself for a +short time one of the most unpopular persons in the community. +"Business men will remember bitterly in the future, when funds are +scarce, that the sale of the cathedral would have represented a +perpetual income of L15,000 to L20,000 a year," wrote one of the many +good Churchmen who voiced their feelings in the newspapers; and he +said that those business men would be justified in refusing help to +the foolish ones who had "persisted in building on a veritable gold +mine," when those dark days came. The temptation was scarcely put +aside before the collapse occurred, and then, oh, what a sigh of +thankfulness went up from us all that the cathedral was there still! + +When it was known by the high financiers behind the scenes that the +bottom had fallen out of the Land Boom proper, then the +company-promoting began. Some idea of the energy that at once poured +itself into this channel may be derived from the statement that within +one year 270 new companies were registered in Melbourne, having an +aggregate nominal capital of fifty-two millions. These were the traps, +baited with the names of men in high positions, notorious for piety, +respectability, and business acumen, into which walked that long +procession of honest toilers who, with their little savings in their +hands, aimed, not to make a fortune, but a comfortable provision for +old age. + +Here is a sample of the kind of thing that might be found daily in the +newspapers--it is from the prospectus of the Centennial Land Bank, +Limited, Capital, L1,000,000, in 200,000 shares of L5 each:-- + + "The following statistics as regards the present values in + kindred institutions speak for themselves, and it is scarcely + necessary to point out the fact that this Company cannot + fail, with proper management, to have equally good, if not + better, returns:-- + + Australian Property and Investment Company, L5 paid; present + value, L8, 15s. + + Henry Arnold and Company, L5 paid; present value, L12. + + Standard Financial Investment and Agency Company, L1 paid; present + value, L7. + + Mercantile Finance and Guarantee Company, 25s. paid; present + value, L4, 19s. + + Freehold Investment and Banking Company, L2, 15s. 6d. paid; + present value, L10, 7s. 6d. + + Real Estate Bank, 50s. paid; present value, 73s. + + Australian Deposit and Mortgage Bank, L25 paid; present value, + L46. + + All the above have been paying dividends at the rate of from 10 to + 50 per cent." + +Is it any wonder that a spider's web of this description was simply +black with flies? Poor old maids, widows, parsons, school-marms, small +tradesmen who had laboriously put by a little--they tumbled over each +other in their eagerness to put a splendid finishing-touch to the work +of their industrious lives. They could not believe in frauds and +swindles at the hands of such men as they who enticed them to +irreparable financial ruin. Of the companies named in the Centennial +Land Bank prospectus, all, as I read in the records of the time, came +to grief, and "the names of four of them figure in the list of 133 +limited companies that the _Government Gazette_ supplies as having had +to wind up their affairs during the twelve months from June 1891 to +June 1892 inclusive." + +I said I would not meddle with figures, which are not in my line, but +I am tempted to give just a few more while I am about it. + +Purchasers (at slightly under L1100 per foot) of land in Collins +Street, on which a draper's shop had been burnt to the ground, refused +L2000 per foot for their bargain. Another block, with frontage to +Collins Street, was bought for L65,000, and sold a few months later +for L120,000. Other premises purchased for L25,000 were sold four +months later for L55,000--L2000 per foot. The Equitable Life Assurance +Company of New York paid, I believe, L2500 per foot for the fine site +on which they have erected the finest commercial building in +Melbourne. It was the same in the outside suburbs, where as yet they +were not suburbs at all. At Surrey Hills land worth 15s. in 1884 rose +to L15 in 1887. A "moderate estimate" of the sales of the latter year +was officially reported as over L14,000,000. But one of the best +indications of the violence of these ups and downs is afforded by a +comparison of the advertisement-columns of the newspapers one year +with another. In 1888 the Saturday issue (for several consecutive +Saturdays) of a morning journal averaged 170 advertisement-columns of +fine print; in 1892 (also for several Saturdays) the average number +was 67. It was calculated by "one of our leading financiers" that the +"shrinkage" which occurred in stocks and shares, together with the +shrinkage in silver (which had had a world-famed boom of its own), +from 1889 to 1892 totalled "the appalling sum of L50,000,000." It only +remains to add that the population of the entire continent did not +total 4,000,000. + +G. and I were amongst the fortunate ones who had no spare money to +play with, and so, when the crash came, we were in the position of the +cathedral--where we were--poor but free, not mortgaged body and bones +for "calls," like so many that we knew. Still, we had to bear our +little share of the general calamity. About a week after the State +Proclamation of five days' compulsory Bank Holiday--disregarded by the +only two banks which (with the exception of one little one) passed +unscathed through the storm--and when it was supposed that Government +had thereby checked the epidemic of bank disasters, G. was paid his +stipend, and on the stroke of three o'clock made a wild rush to +deposit the money before his bank shut for the day; _his_ bank being +above suspicion (to him), whatever others might be. He just, and only +just, managed it, and the doors that closed on him a minute afterwards +remained closed next morning. And so, as that money was for many a day +beyond recall, I had to make mine do for both of us, until I in my +turn was rendered penniless. With the narrow-mindedness of my sex in +business matters, I withstood the appeals of the manager of my own +bank, who assured me that his little all and the combined possessions +of his whole family reposed therein, and transferred what I had to the +Government Savings Bank, as being an approximately safe place--while +inclined to think that a hole in the ground or a tea-pot or an old +stocking would be safer--until things should have settled down. When +they did settle down, I opened my account with one of the two great +banks that had proved themselves impregnable. + +From a newspaper of May 20th, 1893, I take the following:--"Counting +in all stoppages up to Tuesday last, about L55,000,000 of Australian +money is now locked up in suspended banks of issue--not counting the +amounts locked up in about fifty bursted land banks, building +societies and investment companies, and leaving the Mercantile"--this +was the particularly scandalous boom-bank--"out of the calculation +altogether.... Within a year 64 per cent. of the working capital of +Queensland has been locked up, 60 per cent. of that of Victoria, 55 +per cent. in New South Wales, and 40 per cent. in South Australia." So +it appears, if these figures are correct, that there was still one +colony worse off than we were. + +But it was not 1893--it was 1886--when I was in hospital, and the +"high old times" were in full swing. When I came out, to remain for a +long time under the necessity of reporting myself to the doctor at +frequent intervals, I was again, at those frequent intervals, in the +thick of the distractions of our still gay capital, where it was the +aim of my friends to make me forget that I was going to "die of it" or +to persuade me that my medical adviser was a fool. + +I was not in the fevered crowd of those who "ran" the boom and made +the smell of money so rank in the nose; but it was high tide in the +fortunes of the landed gentry, and, indeed, generally speaking, of the +whole community. All in their degree were rich and lived lavishly; the +upper classes seemed wholly given over to pleasure-making, and their +appetite for social diversion was catered for as it never was before +or since. It was now that I heard so much good music, saw so much good +acting, met so many interesting travellers, enjoyed the greatest +race-meetings in the history of splendid Flemington, the hospitalities +of Government House in its best days, the most memorable +entertainments of a time when nothing but the first-rate was +tolerated. I look back now and wonder at my keen appreciation of it +all. But it never took much to make me enjoy myself, and I was younger +then. + +Out of the crowded spectacle, which in memory resembles the dream of +Verdant Green's father after the first visit to Oxford, the Centennial +Exhibition stands most conspicuous. As first conceived, it was to cost +L25,000, because the buildings of the Exhibition of 1880 were still +there to work upon. Being a Boom enterprise, it had not gone far +before it was estimated that L70,000 would be needed to complete it +properly. When the bill at last came in, it totalled L250,000. "A +costly blunder," it is called in these soberer times. Costly it was +certainly, but a blunder--no. Not to us who made it our haunt and +rendezvous, our palace of pleasure in a thousand forms. I should think +that no money ever spent gave so much direct enjoyment to so many +people. + +Ah, those days! Those days! I too had had my little boom on the +Australian press, and it was not yet over; bad times were still +undreamed of, the London Syndicate had not yet taken possession of the +fiction columns, pounds were freely to be had (I received L197 for the +serial rights of _A Marked Man_) where now shillings are hard to come +by; and my children were still under the expensive age. So that the +cost of two long journeys for a day or two in town seemed not worth +considering, and I appear never to have considered it. We were all +extravagant together. We made hay while the sun shone, if ever people +did. + +Therefore, looking back upon those gay times, I have not to regret +that I missed anything (except Madame Norman-Neruda), whatever else I +may regret. Living nearly 200 miles away I had all the good of the +Exhibition that I could have desired; more would have meant satiety. +Scores and scores of those orchestral concerts (under Frederick +Cowen's conductorship) I must have attended, first and last; there +were two a day, and they gave you the best music of all countries, and +you only had to stroll into the hall and sit down and listen, as if in +your own house. It was here that I learned to be a Wagnerite, after +several unsuccessful attempts. By finding a very quiet corner, and +listening with my eyes close shut and a fan before my face, I +discovered the secret; now there is no luxury in life like a Wagner +concert--other music, even other great music, that I am bidden to +place higher, seems by comparison what other novels seem beside George +Meredith's best (the Meridithian will understand me). As it has +chanced, all the Wagner that I have heard since Exhibition days has +been rendered by the still more highly-trained orchestra of Mr +Marshall Hall, ex-Ormond Professor of Music in the University of +Melbourne; and, as a musician, we have never had his equal amongst us +here, and are never likely to have his superior. + +The Art Galleries of the Exhibition were more to us than the Concert +Hall, for we were more in them. Amongst the Loan Pictures, of one +country or another, we met our friends; here we sat on soft lounges to +muse upon our favourites, in more or less congenial company, or we let +the pictures alone and gave friendship the whole field. There were +times in the day--the place was open from 11 A.M. to 10:30 P.M.--when +persons who desired privacy had no difficulty in finding it at fifty +different spots; wherefore it was a very paradise for lovers. And you +could live there all day long, with every comfort, including free +education worth years of school. It was delightful to show children +biscuits and hats and wire-mattresses a-making under their very noses, +and when they were tired of that to take them to see the seals fed in +the cool Aquarium, or up on the hydraulic lift to survey all Melbourne +from the great dome. The meals are a delicious memory--the little +lunches and dinner-parties, the afternoon teas (for nothing) in the +dainty tea-pavilions--all flavoured with the holiday spirit, the +bright talk of meeting friends. And the saunters to and fro, and up +and down (fatiguing, no doubt, but I have forgotten that), always with +something beautiful to look at, something interesting to do, and +generally with a comrade of your heart to talk to about it all! When +the place was shut at last, we wandered forlorn and lost for a long +time. We were spoiled for humdrum life. + +The Centennial Exhibition--our "Great" Exhibition--marked the climax +of the Boom, of what we erroneously call the "good times," when we +were rich and dishonest and mercenary and vulgar. The end was not far +off. A few more luxuries awaited us, of which the one that recalls +itself most vividly to my mind is Madame Patey's singing of "Alas! +Those Chimes," from _Maritana_. This was on 27th November 1890. On the +25th June 1801 I saw Sara Bernhardt in _Theodora_. She it was who rang +down the curtain. We were able to give her a good season, to treat +ourselves once more regardless of expense; then, upon the heels of her +departure, the bubble burst. "Thank God," I heard a man say, "that we +got Sara first." It was our last chance for many a long day. + +But the best thing that ever happened to Melbourne Society, as I have +known it, was the snuffing out of the lights of that feast, the coming +of that cold daylight to the revellers. A better example of the +vulgarising effects of wealth, and of the refining effects of being +without it, was never packed in a neater compass. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +THE SEVENTH HOME + + +Towards the end of May 1886--against professional advice, to which we +opposed our private opinion that the best way to get well was to get +rid of the homesick cravings that were beyond doctor's reach--I was +transferred from my hospital bed to one in the house of a dear +Melbourne friend, where I lay in all the luxury that love and money +could provide, and with portions of family around me, for a few more +weeks; until at last it was considered that I might make the long +journey to my home in safety. I had a bed in the railway carriage, and +reached the goal of my desires at midnight, when the long-motherless +bairns were asleep. Thereafter, although weighed down at times with +the thought of my supposed impending doom--never really out of my +mind, and constantly spurring me to extreme efforts to turn the +available time to the best account, in the interests of my prospective +orphans--I persisted in getting well and in enjoying myself +accordingly. Indeed, the charm of life at this period--only to be +understood by those in like case, who have been so near to losing +it--is a bloom upon the retrospect that is likely to misrepresent it +in these pages. Beauty is in the eye and heart of the beholder more +than in the thing beheld. However, I can only paint as I have seen, +and the reader will make allowances. + +Certainly Home No. 7, which was in the near neighbourhood of Homes 1, +2, and 3, was a trifle dilapidated. G.'s successor there, when he +first saw it, called it a "shanty"--he came from the modern suburban +villa which we now occupy, and was used to high ceilings and electric +bells--and he thought (until the rain ceased and the sun came out) +that it would be impossible to bring his family to quarters so mean by +comparison with what they were accustomed to. But they were good +enough for us. The most we asked of the vestry was to keep roofs +weather-tight; for the rest, we felt ourselves equal to making a +satisfactory abode out of a far worse shanty than that. Indeed, we had +done so more than once. + +All the paint was off it, and the soft grey of the dissolving +wood-work was in perfect harmony with every other detail of the +composition; I used to dread to turn my back on the place, lest the +parish should take a notion to smarten up while I was away, although I +knew that the time was near when something would have to be done. They +could only have put staring patches on their old garment, which would +have made it hideous. It was so beautifully, mellowly "all of a piece" +now, that I begged G., who rather hankered after painters and +carpenters, to keep their hands off, if he loved me. "It will last our +time," I said, as he drove the amateur nail, and I saw to it that old +age did not mean dirt; and we made it do that--barely. The back of the +house was level with the ground, but the front was in the air, so that +its verandah was a balcony and you descended from it to the garden by +a flight of twelve steps; before we left we had abandoned the front +entrance because it had become impossible by our unaided efforts to +keep those steps in place. Also the verandah floor in places was +dangerous to walk upon; the constant watering of flower-pots and +palm-tubs had rotted it through. And the ivy, cut into a hood round +one of the drawing-room windows, rioted out of bounds. On the whole, I +was glad to go when the time came--to our sunny, airy, far-too-public +villa with the high ceilings and the electric bells, which will never +suit me as well. We had grown too dilapidated to keep tidy, too +picturesque for health. + +After our time--and soon after--an opportune legacy to the parish was +devoted to the work of restoration, and enabled the restorers to make +what they called a good job of it. I saw the place the other day, and +it is now almost like a common house. The ivy is all cleared away; so +are some of the trees which, while I knew they were too many, I could +not bear to have touched; the verandahs are sound and painted, the +rooms light. My aesthetic soul grieved over some details of the change, +but my hygienic conscience admitted that the whole change was a good +one. + +Many things were gone from the garden, which in our time had sheltered +us from every prying eye. The thinning of the trees and bushes had +left spaces bare but for pine-needles and cones, and exposed the house +to the gaze of the passer-by. Great screens of laurel used to stand +this way and that, and some had been taken down; a magnificent +lemon-tree had disappeared--but I think that was our fault. We sunk a +kerosene tin, with small holes in the bottom, in the earth beside it, +and filled the cavity with water whenever we thought of it, so that +moisture was always percolating to the roots; and the result of this +treatment was such splendid growth that the tree doubled and trebled +its size in two or three seasons. The fruit was enormous and weighed +it down. I used to break off a branch bearing a cluster of half a +dozen or more, and by the time I had carried it to a friend in the +town my arm would feel as if I had been carrying a pail of milk; and I +was ready to teach anybody the true art or lemon-growing. But after a +few splendid years the tree suddenly got tired: I suppose it had +worked itself out; and then it dwindled steadily, despite our care, +and we left it ragged and sick. It must have died of that illness. +Another lemon-tree, treated in the same way, lives still, in a sticky, +threadbare fashion, but this bears a small, half-sweet fruit, whereas +its neighbour was Lisbon of the finest quality. Evidently lemons do +not object to that vigorous climate, where it snows in winter, for our +doctor up there, whose recreation is fruit-farming, has a fine grove +of young trees, the produce of which has already gained top prices in +the market; but oranges will not climb so high. Within a few miles, +however--at W----, near Home No. 1--they grow to perfection. + +The two things in the parsonage garden which make it unique are there +still--the avenue and the slabbed pathways. The avenue, from the front +door to the front gate, is of some kind of pine that runs up in a +straight mast to a great height and then branches like an umbrella; +here it makes a roof to the descending aisle. And the aisle is paved +with shallow steps of the silvery granite which is the very substance +of the hills. No one step matches another; all are rough-hewn and of +about the same width, but they are long or short, thick or thin, just +as it happens, dropping down and down in a manner as informal as the +architecture of Nature herself; and the same arrangement obtains where +it has been necessary to make footholds round steep corners. Those +original alley-and-stairways were an inspiration of the designer, who +probably had no design but to face his tracks with something that the +rain would not wash away; but how often has the amiable Philistine +urged us to get the vestry to "make proper paths!" They will do it +some day, and then I hope no reader of these pages, touring in the +locality, will look for Home No. 7 in the expectation of finding it. +But, all the same, that garden was a trap to the stranger on a dark +night. + +I remember on one occasion being awakened from my first sleep--my +hours are early at both ends of the day--by terrifying bumpings and +crashes amongst the thick bushes and down the treacherous paths. G. +was at a meeting in the town; maid and lady-help had both followed the +children to bed; it was nine o'clock or thereabouts, when any other +house would have been still alive. My fears of burglars or stray +cattle were dispelled by the voices of lost and floundering men +calling to each other. Supposing the servant about, I left her to +attend to them, but it was a long time before they brought up at the +dining-room verandah. There she argued with them at length, and +presently tapped at my door. + +"It's two gentlemen from Melbourne, ma'am." Like Maria, she was most +particular in giving me that title so rare in this country. + +"Didn't you tell them Mr C. was out?" I called. + +"I did, ma'am. And they want to see you." + +"Didn't you tell them I had gone to bed?" + +"I did, ma'am. But--" + +"Well, go and tell them again that I have gone to bed." The idea of +that statement, once made, not being sufficient! I was indignant. + +She went, and talked to them again; she returned with a pair of +visiting-cards, and protested, as she lit my candle, that the +gentlemen would not go. I read the names, and knew them, although the +owners were strangers to me. One was a University Professor. +(N.B.--Since this was written he has joined the majority, one of the +greatest losses to the country, outside the University as well as in, +that it has sustained for many a day.) I decided to get up. + +"Put the lamps in the drawing-room, and tell them I will be there in a +minute." And I whisked up my hair, tossed on a tea-gown, and went +forth to receive them. "We were determined to have you out," said the +Professor to me years afterwards, and dwelt upon the extraordinary +difficulties that he and his friend had had to overcome to compass +that end. Glad enough was I, and still am, that they succeeded. No +talk that I ever had is more refreshing to remember than that which I +enjoyed until past midnight--especially after G. came back from his +meeting to divide us into pairs. There are books and ideas that can +never suggest themselves without bringing it all to mind. The garden +is haunted by the figures of those groping and resolute men. + +There, too, walks the ghost of that dear vice-regal lady whom we all +remember with such love. I see her slowly mount the rugged path under +the pines, glancing from side to side upon the half-wild growth with +pleasure in her artistic eye; coming for that quiet talk which +municipal dignity would have baulked us of, and the memory of which is +precious now that I am never likely to have another. I read somewhere +not long ago, in gossip of old Holland House and the charming society +that once gathered there--by one who was of it--that she was lovely as +a budding girl, and remarkable for her air of high distinction; +immediately I thought of her as she looked that day, coming towards me +under the trees. Like the rest of us, she is growing old now, but she +will always have that beauty and that air, the blend of a gentle +nature with gentle blood. + +An account of this visit from our then Governor's wife may be worth +giving, if only to illustrate municipal dignity--Government +authority--as it is conceived of in these parts. + +She had honoured me with a private friendship--unsought by me--for +some time when, in the ordinary routine of state functions, +arrangements were made for the Governor to visit our town, she +accompanying him. It was an exceptional compliment, conferred for the +first time, and the excitement throughout the district was intense. + +When the time approached she wrote to ask me to meet her on her +arrival, and I was duly at the station when the decorated train +arrived, but far, far away on the edge of the crowd, which built a +solid rampart between us--official representatives of the town, their +families, and the processions they had organised to receive and escort +the vice-regal party--and by no means could I get nearer. In normal +times I had every reason to feel myself a respected member of the +community, but I was now to be taught my place municipally as it were. +My representations were simply not listened to; I am sure they were +not believed. That vice-royalty could harbour a thought outside the +official demonstration was inconceivable to them. I could see my +friend's tall head turning from side to side as she sought for me over +the bowing heads of people presenting bouquets and reading addresses +of welcome, but I was not tall enough for her to see me; so I gave up +the struggle for that day, and went home and had a bath--it was +ragingly hot--intending to send her a note of explanation later. As I +was putting myself into an old, cool gown, word was brought to me that +she was coming up the garden. I went out to her as I was, and she +spent an hour or two, of happy memory, with me--the only resting time +she had throughout her visit--leaving me to my customary quiet evening +and early bed, while she returned to the hotel to the state banquet +and reception that filled the first day's programme. + +That of the next day (December 30, 1885, and a burning north wind) was +packed with engagements in a fashion that took no account of a woman's +strength--and a delicate woman at that. There was first a monster +picnic to the show view of the neighbourhood, twelve steep miles up +into the hills; it was to start as early as nine or thereabouts, feast +sumptuously and make speeches when it got there, and return in time +for two more afternoon functions, at two separate public institutions, +and a concert in the evening. It was arranged overnight that I should +accompany my friend to the picnic, and after she left my house she +notified to the proper authorities her wish that I should be allotted +to the carriage selected for her. Next day she told me the result. The +answer of the town was that it was very sorry, but it could not be +done. _The order of precedence had to be observed._ + +I was at the hotel at the appointed hour, and she was already in her +seat--she had chosen it, under the circumstances, on the box, between +the Governor and the driver--and the body of the vehicle, a large open +brake, was packed with municipal ladies, every bit as "good" as I was, +of course, but all strangers to her. Behind the vice-regal carriage +stood a long line of other brakes, rapidly filling up. I sat down on a +bench under the hotel verandah to watch the process and await my turn. +My dear lady in the distance made a gesture which signified "Where are +you going to be put?" I shook my head to indicate that I had not the +least idea. Then the cavalcade started, and soon all the splendid +four-in-hands had vanished in a cloud of dust--and I was still sitting +under the verandah, I and a friend staying with me, a daughter of that +house where I encountered the midnight opossum. It was discovered then +that there was still a remnant left behind, and a buggy was brought +out, a scratch pair harnessed to it, and we and a few more odds and +ends, as it were, cleaned up. + +Of course we were hours late at the rendezvous. When we arrived the +banquet was in progress, the Governor's wife sitting amid her court, +which occupied every chair, and looking almost as difficult to get at +as she had been at the railway station. I made no attempt to get at +her. My companion and I sat in our own buggy, and a nice man brought +us plates of turkey and trifle, and tumblers of champagne, and we +enjoyed our lunch and our liberty and the whole proceedings. By-and-by +the Governor came to tell me that he expected me to accompany his +party back to town the next morning. I had that to look forward to. + +On our return from the picnic, and when near the gates of the first +institution that was to be inspected, the cavalcade halted and word +was passed back to me that my lady in the leading carriage wished to +speak to me. I went to her. She was dusty and sunburnt, and very +tired. "Go home," she said, "and rest. You can rest--I can't." + +I went to Melbourne with her next day--the very hottest day, I think, +that I was ever out in. She had been unable to sleep, she said, and +was almost prostrated by the weather and her fatigues. In the state +carriage we could lie down on blue satin sofas, in the lightest indoor +clothes, and a maid in a little ante-room had cool drinks and sponges +and such things in readiness. The Governor held a cloth continually +soaked in water over an open window against the fierce north wind, to +try if by evaporation he could freshen the air; but it remained +oven-like for all his efforts. + +At last, when we were halting at a wayside station for a train to +pass, a minister was sent for from the compartment where he was +travelling with the suite, in some kind of official charge of the +expedition. + +"Do," said his liege lady, "do please go and ask them if they will +hose the carriage." She was fainting with the heat, and this seemed to +her the best way to get relief--as it would have been. He hurried off, +much concerned at her distress, to, as he said, see what he could do. +Presently he returned, and said--my own ears heard him--that he was +very sorry, but it could not be done. "_It would blister the paint._" + +She was idolised throughout the colony as no Governor's wife ever was +before or since, and with good reason; and the people who, as in this +case, were supposed to be entertaining her, were neither mean nor +selfish, nor intentionally rude. I am sure the idea that they were not +treating her with the highest consideration never crossed their minds. + +Other friends, departed or no more, are indissolubly one with that old +house and the old garden in which it stood. How many phantom faces +flit amongst those shades? Every block of stone, every step of the +verandah stairs, has a figure or a group. They sit in twilight, in +moonlight, musing alone or talking together--the deep, intimate talk +of those resting hours. There is a bishop amongst them with his +pipe--he, too, now on the other side of the world, but with a green +memory here that will not wither yet awhile. And still other friends, +that never talked, except in a language that few trouble to learn. + +For originally the garden was a "Zoo" on a small scale. The first +parson was a rabid naturalist, who experimented with new breeds of +birds and collected snakes for the study of their habits and customs. +We were warned that one of their habits was to escape frequently, and +that we should probably find house and grounds alive with their +descendants, but we did not; only two put in an appearance upon the +premises in nine years. Two large aviaries remained of the birds' +village that once was when we took possession; we kept flower-pots and +tools in one, and for a while I had turtledoves in another--not for +long, since cages are an abomination to me, however big. Both are +cleared away now, with their leafy screens. But the wild birds love +the place--or did love it. It was mainly for their sakes that the axe +was not laid at the root of any tree while we were there, and they +came to it from far and near--far, I should say, since one rarely +heard a bird-note, not even that of the once ubiquitous magpie, on the +surrounding hills--and set up housekeeping in peace and privacy, and +in larger and larger numbers every year. + +How soon they know where they are welcome! And it is the same with all +dumb things. I am convinced that there is scarcely a creature living +which does not prove itself possessed of quite human intelligence as +soon as one begins to make a friend of it. They walk under our feet +and scatter from our path in fear and trembling; their minds are +cramped and starved by their hunted, down-trodden, tragical lives; +they are shut up within themselves. But show them a little kindness +and understanding and comradeship, and the results are astonishing. I +have tried it often enough to know. I have had such things as toads +and hedgehogs scrambling after me about garden paths, preferring to +burst themselves rather than lose the chance of my company. Some white +rats presented to my children were let out of their cage to enjoy +themselves in an enemy-proof room, and had not been thus indulged for +a week before their endearments became overpowering. A widowed dove +was my companion for several years, and fell sick and refused food if +parted from me, which was only when I went out of the house; and then +it would follow if not guarded carefully, and was killed at last in a +tangle of street traffic through which it was hunting me. In this very +house at B---- I was silly enough to make friends with a mouse that +had a hole in the hearth by which I used to sit alone at work. All I +did was to put a crumb or a spoonful of milk between me and it. Soon +it took to sitting in its porch--we could just see its little snout +twiddling--to watch until the family were all gone from the room, and +to running out to me fearlessly the instant the door was closed behind +them. + +This was in the dining-room. Opposite its glass doors, across the +verandah and a path, there was an arrangement of granite blocks to +shore up the ground where the hill had been cut away to make a level +for the house, and in the interstices of this rough wall more mice +lived. We were quite unaware of the fact until I had begun petting the +hearth-dweller, when they suddenly popped out from their burrows as +bold as brass. I could not resist giving them a crumb or two, and +their subsequent behaviour convinced me that their indoor neighbour +had communicated to them the fact that there was a friend at court. As +I sat at meals, in broad daylight and sunshine, the French window open +between us, I could see them sitting on their thresholds, staring +across the gap with all their eyes. "You will rue this," said the +person in authority, and I soon did. We became all at once inundated +with mice. Alas for the eternal tragedy of life! A cat was introduced. +One morning I was writing at the dining-table, with my back to the +hearth, when a tremendous clatter of fire-irons made me jump out of my +chair. I flew after that young tigress, and I got her prey from her, +but too late. My pet died in my hand--and I am never going to take any +notice of a mouse again. + +Of all my dumb companions here--those humble fellow-creatures of ours, +the possibilities in the way of social intercourse with whom (I will +not say "which") are amongst the happy surprises reserved for an +enlightened future--Toby was the bosom friend. + +Toby, although he was only a dog, shall have a chapter to himself. The +reader who is not a dog-lover, being hereby forewarned, can skip it. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +TOBY + + +All I know of his breeding is that he had none. His mother, a +drawing-room pet and the only acknowledged parent, was a little +long-bodied, dainty bundle of silver-grey silk that swept the ground; +he, fully twice her size and height, with a compact, sinewy frame and +a close, wire-haired, rusty-black coat, was more in the style of the +useful out-door terrier that loves a scrimmage in the street and is +rough on rats--mere dog, in short, and a despicable animal from the +fancier's point of view. But when I saw him first--he was brought to +my bedside during illness, as a present more likely to cheer me than +anything else--I thought I had never seen a sweeter pup; and I do not +hope to meet again, still less to own, a brighter, smarter, dearer +creature than he afterwards became. + +There was nothing of the trick dog about him, and with respect to +striking exploits he was less distinguished than several of his +predecessors in my regard. One of these, for instance, was +part-proprietor of a town and a country house, both of which were kept +open and habitable (caretakers in one while the family occupied the +other), and there was a considerable railway journey between the two. +My canine friend preferred, of course, to live with the family, but +if they happened to hurt his feelings he quietly trotted to the +station, picked out the right train, and thereby conveyed himself to +his alternate home, where he remained until the trouble had blown +over. The railway officials at both ends knew him well, and he them, +but they declared that, even at the crowded station of the large town, +he was capable of finding his own train without their assistance. This +same dog knew when it was Sunday simply by count of days--at least, he +would seem to know before anything in the house could have told +him--and took his measures accordingly. He was always missing between +breakfast and church time, and always known to be in hiding under a +seat of the family pew during divine service, although an order +prohibiting his attendance had never been repealed. Another dog friend +used to wait for his mistress on doorsteps when she did errands or +paid calls, and one day she left a house by a different door from that +by which she had gone in, forgetting that he was there. Missing him +during the day, finding that he was not at home all night nor all next +day, she became frantic with fears that something dreadful had +happened to him, sending messages of inquiry in all directions. After +a hunt in more likely places, he was discovered on the doorstep where +she had left him. It had been snowing and blowing, and he was starved +with cold and hunger, but he had not budged. I knew a dog that nearly +died at his post in the same way, and quite lately the current dog of +this establishment spent a cold night at the local cemetery gates, +waiting for a master who had gone home unbeknown in a mourning coach +the day before. Dozens of incidents equally remarkable occur to me, +but not in connection with Toby; who, however, if he did not do any +very wonderful things, was capable of doing them. As with inglorious +Miltons amongst ourselves, he simply lacked opportunity. + +What entitled him to be remembered as I remember him was his splendid +force of character and his absolutely faithful heart. He was, indeed, +energetic to a fault in nearly all directions. No dog walked that he +was not game to tackle, and no cat, except his own cat, whose +successive kittens he nursed as if engaged for the purpose, was safe +for a moment within range of his alert eye; while to see him careering +round the paddock after frenzied poultry, or throwing the garden +bodily over his back when burying his bones and digging them up again, +was to understand in some degree why he was not exactly popular with +the powers of his world. But the ardour of his affection for, and +devotion to, his particular owner was a thing to shame human +friendship at its best. I can never think of it without thinking what +life would be if men and women loved each other like that. + +Full of business as he always was, I think he never lost the run of +his mistress for an hour when she was at home, unless he were tied up +for misdemeanours or otherwise forcibly restrained. A thing of +whalebone and quicksilver, of tireless energy and vivacity, he +schooled himself to the conditions of indoor companionship, and would +lie all day at my side, eyes watching for the merest glance from mine, +tail poised for a joyous thump the moment he received it. When I sat +out of doors, and he thought I was quite safe not to go away, he would +amuse himself in the vicinity in all sorts of cheerful ways. He always +took a deep interest in fowls, and a favourite game of his was to draw +an imaginary circle round a selected hen, and by working along that +line to keep her from breaking out of it. He did it so neatly and at +such a distance from her that she was not seriously alarmed; but when, +every time she started for a new point, she found him there ahead of +her, her disconcerted cluck and bewildered aspect were extremely +funny. The current kittens were also toys that he delighted in; he and +the mother cat would spend endless time and ingenuity in carrying them +away from one another and fetching them back again, all in the most +friendly fashion. Of course, he accompanied me everywhere in my walks +abroad. Some readers of these pages will recall his wit and his +persistence in following me into houses where I was paying calls after +doors and gates had been closed against him. How he did it we +sometimes could not tell, since he was neither a professional burglar +nor a kangaroo; and, of course, I ought to have brought him up not to +do it, as not to do a few other things that I weakly allowed for the +sake of the love that prompted them. + +At night, when not on that chain which we both disliked so much, he +preferred to sleep on my doorstep--I had an outside doorstep, where a +French window opened upon the raised verandah--deserting the kennel in +which he could have been dry and warm. When I was alone--he always +knew when that was--the worst weather would not keep him away; but +when the rain, which occasionally was sleet and snow, beat on him, he +would scratch and whine to be let in; and then I would be inclined to +wish that one or other of us had never been born. It was a torment to +hear him and refuse his plea, but the most doggy person must draw the +line somewhere; besides, if I had admitted him once, he would have +suffered for my indiscretion many times, as also should I. So I used +to shout, "Go to bed, sir!" with a make-believe severity that had no +more effect than to send him dejectedly flopping down the verandah +steps, to creep up again before he had reached the bottom. But +generally he was good and quiet. I used to wake sometimes to hear a +subdued sniff under the door, or the thud of a soft body flinging +itself ostentatiously upon hard boards. These were his ways of +reminding me, in case I doubted it, that he was there. + +Unfortunately, as before remarked, he was not popular with the +household. I daresay it was my fault. There are such differences of +opinion about dogs in our family that we never do have one without +quarrelling over it, more or less. Poor Toby was the domestic +scapegoat. If a chicken got roup or a stray cow walked over the +flower-beds, he was the suspected culprit; every muddy boot-print, +every unmentionable insect that came into the house, was laid at his +door; and to smell an unpleasant odour was at once to connect it with +his coat, and not with cabbage water in the kitchen or a neglected +drain. + +I went out a-visiting for a week or two, and when I returned found +that he had been given away. He was still on the premises to welcome +me in his vociferous manner, and the news was not broken too abruptly: +but I had to hear it before the following afternoon, which was the +time fixed for his departure. It appeared that in my absence he had +taken up with some friends of ours whom he had often called upon with +me, particularly attaching himself to the eldest schoolboy son, and +had virtually been living with them nearly all the time. They were but +temporary dwellers in the town, and about to leave it; and as he had +greatly endeared himself to the numerous children, and was rightly +supposed to be unappreciated in his own house, they had asked to keep +him and take him with them. Evidently the request had been hailed as +delightfully opportune, and unhesitatingly granted by those who had no +authority to dispose of him. + +"Now, you know," it was said to me, when, after something of a scene, +I was considered in a fit state to be reasoned with, "that Toby only +makes discord and dissension in an otherwise united family. He will +interfere with the fowls, and dig holes in the garden, and bring dirt +and fleas into the house; and then, when he is put on the chain, you +don't like it and make a fuss. Here's a splendid home for him, where +he'll be as happy as the day is long. The T.'s, who have just as much +as they can do to feed their own children and pay their own travelling +expenses, would not add him to the party if they were not really fond +of him; and you can see, by the way he has been haunting their place, +how fond he is of them. It is for the dog's own benefit as well as +ours, and we shall never get such another chance." + +Well, I saw that. When you love a creature, dumb or otherwise, its own +happiness is what you consider first, and every proof had been given +that his new proprietors would be good to him. In this case, as in so +many cases, the benevolent heart went with the slender purse; Toby +himself was well aware of it. And so I consented to let the bargain +stand. I had promised to see my friends off at the railway station, +but now cancelled that engagement, sending them a message to say that, +though they might take Toby, I could not see him go. They told me +afterwards that he went quietly; I daresay he did, not knowing what +was happening and how we should feel about it at our next meeting. + +I had no expectation, at the time, of any next meeting. But a year or +two later, while having a little travel for my health, I found myself +in the large town whither he had been taken when torn from me: and, of +course, I made it my business to find him there, if possible. I did +not know where his people lived, the streets were strange to me, and I +have no bump of locality whatever, so I started soon after breakfast +and gave the morning to it. By about lunch-time, after many inquiries +and misdirections, and much fatigue and exasperation, I discovered the +house in a very far-out suburb. But, before I discovered the house, +Toby discovered me. He had not seen me, I am convinced--had either +scented me in the distance or recognised my (to human ears inaudible) +step--when he uttered his first ecstatic yell and hurled himself over +the gate; I was still half a street's length off when I beheld him +tearing towards me as if discharged from a giant catapult. Literally, +I could hardly see him for dust. We fell into each other's arms +forthwith, and I must have looked, to the casual spectator, as if +engaged in a death grapple with a wild beast. + +His young master appeared, and I managed to shake his hand and ask if +he lived there, and how his mother was. He took me in to her, and she +was delighted to see me; his father and the family joined us, and said +how good it was of me to look them up, and of course I must stay to +dinner, and how were all at home, and so on; but it was dumb show--we +could not hear ourselves speak. Toby nearly lifted the roof with his +uproar of welcome, and seemed to have lost the power to stop himself; +every breath was a shriek, so full of the fury and passion of joy that +it seemed like to choke him. This sounds like exaggeration, but really +is not, as those present with me will testify, supposing they read +this tale. Since they never can have seen a dog so conduct himself +before or since, I am sure they will remember the circumstance. He +clawed me frantically, hugged my knees with his strong forelegs, +grovelled at my feet, licked them, rolled over them, rubbed his dear +snout, his ears, his shoulders, upon every part of me that he could +get at, contorting his body in the most grotesque and violent fashion, +as if in the throes of some mysterious convulsive fit. In short, no +hatter or March hare was ever so entirely mad and off his head and +beside himself. + +I confess I was almost as great a fool; seeing which, the kind +household bore with the deafening racket as long as we chose to make +it--ten minutes, perhaps, which must have had the wearing power of ten +hours in that small room. Then, out of pity for my hostess, who was +invalided at the time, and to give human friendship a chance, and +because really a continuation of that Bedlam hubbub would have been +too much for anybody's nerves, I consented to a suggestion that Toby +should be removed for an interval. His young master took him as far +away as the limits of the premises allowed, and shut as many doors +upon him as there were to shut. "Now we can talk," said my hostess, +with a sigh and smile of utter relief. + +So we talked; and as friends who had not met for a long time, as +mothers whose respective children were the most important objects in +the universe, we had a great deal to talk about. We could have +gossiped about our families and affairs for a whole day quite +contentedly, and should have made excellent use of the two or three +hours actually available--had Toby permitted. But he wailed and howled +in his shed in the backyard, and no doors could smother the +distracting sound. We pretended for some time that we did not hear it, +while I answered questions at random, incapable of fixing my thoughts +on anything but him. Finally the strain became unbearable, and the +prisoner was released upon my giving an undertaking that he should +reasonably behave himself. + +He returned like a whirlwind, but, after a brief struggle with +himself, submitted to what he perceived was necessary, and stood under +my hand, trembling, whimpering, thrilling in every fibre, his nose on +my knee, his liquid eyes fixed on my face with such an intensity of +adoring love as I never saw in any other pair. If the pressure was +relaxed for a moment, he leaped like a steel spring in an india-rubber +ball, because he could not help himself, and if I ventured to look at +him he yelped with delight; but he quieted down by degrees, lay on my +skirt, leaning against it in a way to drag the gathers out, licked my +fingers, and was quite happy. + +To please us both he was allowed to stay to dinner, and by this time +he was so far restored to his sober senses that he went to others +beside me to ask for food; and the confidence with which he begged +from each in turn showed that parents and children were all his +trusted friends--that this home, unlike the last, was an ideal home +for a being of his persuasion, the unattainable paradise of the +average dog. This is my one comfort when I think of Toby now. + +Having other engagements, I was obliged to say good-bye to my +entertainers immediately after the mid-day meal. But it was generally +felt that, in spite of his calmer demeanour, there must be no +good-byes to him. Stratagem was resorted to, together with tit-bits of +roast beef to lure him to a part of the house whence he could not see +me go; and as soon as the coast was clear I made off with all speed, +taking care that no door should creak, no gate click, no tip-toe +footstep leave an echo behind me. + +Alas! he heard. No, he did not hear--he _knew_. I was not fairly into +the roadway before he began to shriek with all his might, and now the +shrieks were as full of anguish as they had previously been full of +joy. I never heard anything so heart-thrilling, so heart-breaking in +my life. He was again shut up, and even his strength was not equal to +tearing down the walls that held him, though I am sure he did his +best. I wonder sometimes whether he hurt himself in that paroxysm of +despairing fury, how long it lasted, and what he thought when he was +let out and found that I had not answered his cry, but left him +without a word. + +All the way down the street, and down the next street, and into the +third, as far as the air-waves carried, I heard his voice at the same +pitch. I stood still again and again, agonised by the sound, and _now_ +I cannot imagine how I resisted it. I was hundreds of miles from home; +I was staying in the sort of house that one cannot easily take +liberties with; and, at the end of a holiday, my purse was almost +empty; besides, Toby was no longer my dog, whatever might have been +his views to the contrary, and I knew that his reappearance with me on +my return to my family would be objected to in the strongest manner. +These trivial circumstances overcame the impulse of my heart, and I +passed on. + +It is years and years ago, but I have never forgiven myself, and never +shall. Whenever I think of it--only I cannot bear to think of it--I +suffer pangs of regret and remorse acute enough to bring tears to my +eyes and make me miserable for a whole day. It sounds silly, I know, +but the fact remains. Oh, what things we would do--and not do--if we +could have our time over again! I am not so rich that I can afford to +throw money away, but I would give many hard-earned pounds to reverse +that deed. How readily he would have been given back to me, and +suffered to re-establish himself in his old home, had I properly +represented, and myself properly realised at the right moment, that +our two hearts were set on it; but I let the chance slip, and--his +people leaving soon afterwards for parts unknown--never had another. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +THE GREAT STRIKE + + +This is another chapter that some readers may like to skip. If talk +about a dog is too trivial for those who do not care for dogs, talk +about strikes and such politico-industrial matters--especially by one +unlearned in the subject--is calculated to bore intolerably the person +who merely seeks in these humble pages a little amusement for an idle +hour. But our great strike, which in point of time belongs to this +portion of my narrative, was part and parcel of my Australian life, +and no picture of that life can be made clear unless I sketch in a +line or two to indicate surrounding social circumstances of the larger +kind. + +When our vice-regal lady, already spoken of, was about to leave us, it +was inevitably desired to make her a parting gift. Subscriptions were +invited, and I gladly accepted the privilege of contributing thereto. +That is to say, I calculated what I could afford and prepared my +cheque. Then I was stopped by a move on the part of the official +promoters; they notified that the names of all subscribers would be +published, obviously with the intention of stimulating them to +generosity, which it did in many instances. It had the opposite effect +on me. Since it was under the eyes of the receiver that this parade of +the givers was to be made, and since there were certain to be +sneers--though it was small-minded to care about them--at the +self-advertiser with social ambitions, I had not the courage to enroll +myself. And the money I had set aside I sent to the funds of the great +Dock Strike in England, which was going on at that time. + +I mention this fact so that the poor working man and his friends may +not gather from any remarks I may make on the subject of Australian +labour conditions the mistaken idea that I am out of sympathy with his +cause. The contrary has ever been the case, and I hope always will be; +as a worker myself, I feel beyond measure for those who are unfairly +hampered in what is so stern a struggle at the best. It has been the +religion of my youth--poorly practised, I confess--to stand by the +down-trodden as against those who in their prosperity walk over them; +but whereas I was once fanatical in the matter, I am cooler-headed +now. Increasingly ignorant as I know myself to be, I understand many +things better than I did in 1889. And such enlightenment as I have +grown to in respect of the case of the working man has been given me +by himself. + +One thing that I have learned is to pay no regard to popular +definitions. The working man at the London Docks is so entirely unlike +in his circumstances to the whole body of working men here that it +seems an absurdity to use the same name for both. The one is possibly +the poorest of his class; the other, I should think, is beyond +question the richest. And half our working men, so-called, are not +only misnamed but grotesquely named; they are no more working men than +Paul Kruger's republic was a republic. + +A few facts may be adduced to show this. But indeed the one bare fact +that this great, rich continent is in possession of less than four +million people, who say they are not able to make a living in it, is +proof enough. + +The "starving unemployed" are never out of our streets. Yet, to quote +newspaper comments on this chronic situation--words continually +repeated, consistently unheeded, although no one can contradict +them--"the country is languishing for the labour congested in the +Metropolis. Private enterprise is dying, being slowly killed by +Government competition. Dairymen are turning their farms into +sheep-runs because they cannot get labour; fruit in the orchards is +rotting on the trees or on the ground from the same cause. The +selectors in Gippsland especially are crippled; they find it +impossible to get their land cleared. But everywhere through the state +there is the same complaint of scarcity of labour.... The Government +has raised the rate of wages to seven shillings a day ... the labourer +naturally prefers the Government stroke, and can be tempted away from +that easy and pleasant way of passing his time only by an increased +rate of wages. That increased rate very few industries can afford to +pay; thus all enterprise is crushed." So that one sees where the main +responsibility lies. It is not all the fault of the spoiled children +when they turn out badly. + +This one of several political Frankensteins now has its creator by the +throat. The "Organised Unemployed of the City" do their best to make +the life of the Government a burden to it. They will not leave the +city even for the Government stroke (synonym for work scamped and +shirked, the pretence of work) elsewhere--on account of their +families, they say, whom they cannot expose to the rigours of Bush +life. "What," cried a shocked deputationist to a courageous Minister +of Railways who had ventured to suggest that course as better for the +families than having their husbands doing nothing in town, "you don't +mean to say that a man should take his wife into the Mallee with him? +Well, any man who wishes a woman to live there in a tent with her +husband has no respect for humanity." The Mallee was "a hell upon +earth," and--on account of the ants that crawled upon the +sleepers--"the sleeping accommodation beastly." + +An independent inquiry amongst a crowd of "starving unemployed" +outside the Government Labour Bureau had some curious results. One +"young fellow" who had been railway cutting, "finding, after a +fortnight's trial, that he could not earn more than thirty shillings a +week, left the job and came back to join" these mendicants. The +reporter of this instance added that "fifty others left at the same +time and for the same reason." Another had thrown up a job of eight +shillings a day on the familiar plea that his wife and family were in +Melbourne. Asked by the inquirer whether he could not have taken them +with him to Camperdown--one of the finest settled districts in the +state--he answered "Yes," but "he could not carry along a quarter-acre +allotment." Another "did not care where he worked, but he must have +twelve shillings a day." + +The same issue of the paper which enlightened us in this way as to +what starving means to some folks, published the following:-- + +"The contractor for the supply of road metal to the Coburg Shire +Council has informed the Shire Engineer that he cannot obtain +sufficient stone-breakers for the necessary work under his contract. +At the meeting of the Council last evening the recommendation of the +engineer that the matter be brought under the notice of the local +parliamentary representatives was adopted." The only comment to make +upon this paragraph is that Coburg is not even country like +Camperdown, but a part of Melbourne. Stone-breaking, it is to be +inferred, is too much like hard work. + +This also is public and uncontradicted testimony:-- + +"It has been represented that many of the men who are clamouring for +employment are unfitted for heavy navvying labour but are eager for +light work. Mr Andrew Rowan, proprietor of St Hubert's Vineyard, put +this desire to the test yesterday. He wanted twenty men to assist in +gathering grapes ... and he went to the Labour Bureau to obtain them. +They were offered a fortnight's work at nine shillings per week, with +good quarters and food, and free passes to the vineyard. Out of 150 +men who were outside the Bureau, only eight promised to go, but +actually only four proceeded to St Hubert's by the appointed train." + +Exactly the same result of a Government effort to make acceptable work +for a large body of the unemployed occurred a few days previous to +this present date of writing. + +But I must hasten to say that these State-made drones--these spurious +workers, deliberately manufactured by Government out of material from +which the genuine article might have been made--are not all the family +of labour in this house of ours. They are not even all the +unemployed, worse luck! + +What, I wonder, are the numbers of those who starve--really starve--in +secret because the law forbids them to work for less than seven +shillings a day, which they cannot earn with service not worth the +half of it--all the old and slow and weak, but yet self-respecting and +self-reliant, whose honest bread the Minimum Wage Act has taken out of +their mouths? One is sick of the continual begging of these victims to +inexorable inspectors and Boards to be allowed to work for thirty +shillings a week--for twenty-five--one poor tailoress, who had +supported herself with her needle for fifteen years, stood up in court +and begged with tears to be allowed to work for twelve shillings and +sixpence, which she said would "keep" her--and seeing the invariable +brutal verdict given against them. I cannot bear to talk about it. + +And there are all those outside what may be called the official +working class, to which even these compulsorily-idle unfortunates +belong--salt amid the rottenness that wastes our young nation almost +before it has begun to live. How many of the fine young fellows who +went soldiering to South Africa have looked to that country for home +and work when soldiering was done? I could name a round dozen amongst +my own acquaintances. As a fact, they and their civilian comrades are +pouring thither as fast as they can get passage money and a hundred +pounds together; every ship that sails that way is packed with them. +"There is no opening for them here," say the fathers and mothers who, +when they were young, fared so differently; and they scrape and screw +to give their boys a chance. Well will they prove the quality of their +manhood if they get it, as the "contingenters" amongst them have +already done. But imagine going from a country like Australia to a +country like South Africa (as it is now) for a chance! + +Take again the youths of our cricket-fields--who, however, are one and +the same. Hard, quick-witted, thorough, "playing the game" in every +sense of the term, there is no evidence about them of deterioration +from British standards; rather the contrary, indeed, for the generous +climate and comparative brightness of life have added buoyancy to the +hereditary temperament, the good that happy circumstances always bring +to the originally wholesome nature. And those young men are the +diluted second generation of the race I knew in the old days--the +pioneers, who feared blacks and bushrangers far less than the +"starving unemployed" fear ants. + +See also the gallant Bushmen who go out into the wilds to "take up" +land, and who stay there, fighting with bare hands not only against +the forces of virgin Nature, but under fiscal burdens heavier than are +borne by any other class; who scorn to ask alms of the State which +they serve so well, and who bring up hardy children to the same fine +traditions of manly self-respect. Think of these men having to "turn +their farms into sheep-runs because they cannot get labour"--working +themselves so hard, early and late, as they do (for at least that is +allowed in their case)--while unworthy loafers are cockered up with +"Government works," often devised on purpose for them, and fancy wages +that they do not pretend to earn! + +Above all, there are the women. In the old times the Bush wives, from +the highest to the lowest, made their homes, so to speak, with their +own hands. The squatter's wife, who later came to her town house and +her carriage, did "all her own work" cheerfully "when she had to do +it," and is rarely ashamed to acknowledge the fact--refers to it, +indeed, with a wistful tenderness of voice and heart that plainly +tells how she compares the hard times with the easy ones. And after +that cataclysm already described--the Bursting of the Boom--when the +revels of riches were so rudely interrupted, as if somebody had turned +the gas off suddenly, what did we see? The girls who had never had to +work, who had seemed to live entirely for pleasure, who appeared to us +eaten up with the frivolity of their luxurious lives, as soon as their +great houses fell, instead of sitting down to mourn and weep, +overwhelmed with the shame of such a tremendous social "come-down," +turned to, like Britons indeed, to help their ruined fathers and to +support themselves. In no faddy, fine-lady fashion either. They took +the work that they could do, with no false pride about its being trade +or otherwise, and at this day you may see them still at it, calm and +business-like, never wanting favour on the score of having "seen +better days," never so much as reminding one that they have seen them. +They run many tea-rooms, or wait in them, or make cakes for them; they +keep various little shops, are milliners and dressmakers, typewriters, +dentists, all sorts of things. + +It was significant that our great Labour War developed with the Boom, +and that the defeat of the insurgents coincided with the downfall of +the rotten edifice that had towered so high. They were correlating +forces, the Boomsters and the Strikers, and worked together to pull +our house about our ears, as effectually as if it had been their +conscious purpose to do so. When the fight began the aggressors had no +wrongs to right, no worthy cause to fight for; on the contrary, they +were in a position to make them the envy of their class throughout the +world. They had but eight hours' toil for a day's wage of eight +shillings to ten shillings and more; universal suffrage; payment of +members in a Parliament where the labour vote was paramount; and +behind them that immense trades-union organisation which embraced the +whole continent, and as a governing power had but a handful of troops +and a few hundreds of police against it. What was left for the working +man to claim? I have searched the records for a justifiable cause of +the effects that made our strike unique in the industrial history of +those times, and I cannot find any. The only ostensible grievance on +the pastoral side was that a few squatters proposed to reduce wages +when wool was "up" and cheated their men by selling them poor food at +high prices; on the maritime side that ships' officers found +themselves, not ill-paid, except as all sailors are ill-paid, but paid +less than the unionist (and therefore more privileged) seamen under +them. If there was any other ground for hostilities it nowhere +appears, and as a fact hostilities were in progress long before the +two grievances mentioned took shape. + +We laughed at a funny little incident that occurred at the beginning +of the year, not realising all it signified. A baker in a poor suburb +had a faithful servant who did not belong to the Operative Bakers' +Society. Discovering this, the O.B.S. demanded his dismissal. The +baker refused to dismiss him. The O.B.S. then detailed two delegates +in a buggy to follow the baker's cart on its rounds, and to prevent +the delivery of his bread at every door. Upon which the baker armed +himself with a gun, and in another buggy followed the delegates, +threatening to shoot them at each attempt to interfere with his +business. The little procession was the delight of the streets for +some hours, I believe, when the delegates retired from the contest to +take out a summons. The baker was haled before justices and fined--but +only ten shillings, in consideration of his gun having been empty, and +of the "considerable provocation" that he had received. What became of +the baker's man I do not know, but I can guess. + +Another case, with nothing laughable about it, was that of a poor, +small farmer, who did all his own work. To him came the secretary of +the Slaughtermen's Union, demanding to be informed who killed his pigs +for market. When the farmer admitted doing it himself, he was told +that unless he joined the Union, and paid up all back fees, his pork +would not be allowed to be sold in the Melbourne markets. He wanted to +know whether the S.U. had leased the markets, or how else they +proposed to bar his pork. Simply, he was informed, by "calling out the +slaughtermen from the sheds of any salesman who dared to sell for +him." Thus this poor man had to join the Union, at a cost beyond his +means, to make himself liable for strikes and other things that he +disapproved of, or starve. And thus did Unionism, designed to +frustrate tyranny, play the licentious tyrant in its turn--not in +thoughtless passion but methodically and on principle, wresting the +liberty of the individual from him by brute force. + +Instances of this kind multiplied daily, and slowly roused +us--long-suffering people as we are--to a perception of our case as +Britons who never would be slaves. This was slave-driving pure and +simple; a bit of the Middle Ages back again, when men were denied +their elementary rights and had no redress. The reign of ignorant +tyranny passed, as it was bound to pass, but it has left its mark on +the national character. The habit of the high hand comes out in all +sorts of ways--in our treatment of our Chinese fellow-citizens, in the +despotic attitude of our Federal Government, which regards foreign +nations as pirates and our coloured brothers as vermin unfit to live. +And how the habit of being bullied has demoralised us is shown by our +acquiescence in a state of political bondage that hardly leaves us +free to blow our own noses in our own way. + +There was no limit to the extravagance of Unionist demands, most of +them ultimatums couched in Kruger-like terms. As, for instance, this +letter addressed to a ship captain who had dispensed with the services +of a misbehaving member of the crew who happened also to be a delegate +of the Seamen's Union:--"Dear Sir,--I am instructed by the members of +the above Society to state that we intend to have our delegate, ---- +----, reinstated on board the ----. If he is not reinstated by the +return of the ship to Sydney, the crew will be given their twenty-four +hours' notice." The agents of the Company replied on behalf of the +captain that the man had been discharged "because a change was +considered advisable in the Company's interests," but that there was +"no objection to his joining one of the other vessels of the Company." +This mild and generous answer was of no avail. The Union called out +the crew, and forbade its members ever to ship under the offending +captain in any vessel whatever. It was the tone of voice in which the +"other side" was habitually addressed. The Mill Employes, who would +have all their managers--gentlemen with salaries of L300 and L400 a +year, not one of whom could have been replaced from their +ranks--forced to join their Union with them; the Stewards and Cooks, +who would have their members on ships exempted from the punitive +regulations attached to losses of plate, and so on; the Tinsmiths and +Ironworkers, who would abolish piecework--always hateful to the +political working man; the Implement-makers, who would make ten +shillings a day the minimum wage and required other privileges--all +formulated their demands in the terms of the Seamen's letter. Indeed, +the most painful part of the business was the callous rudeness of the +methods pursued, which openly made the redressing of wrongs of less +importance than the humiliating of the adversary on whom, as it were, +the tables had been turned. Of course, it is here that one must admit +the two sides to the question, and make allowances for the one that is +not one's own. Still--even if we would have done the same under the +same circumstances--the element of personal insult was deplorable. +That indignity put upon the captain who was not allowed to know his +own business, or do it, was repeated with others as often as occasion +offered. There was a member of the Engine-drivers' and Firemen's +Association who, being appointed a delegate to some meeting or other, +left his work and went off to attend it without troubling himself to +ask leave of absence. He returned after five days, and was dismissed +for his act of insubordination. Upon which his Union notified his +employers that if they did not reinstate him the workers at his trade +would be called out. No just-minded person, whatever his sympathies, +can condone such unfair and un-British tactics of war. + +These, however, were but the sporadic skirmishes of the campaign. The +great engagements were two--they went on together and intermingled--the +Shearers' Strike and the Maritime Strike. I think the records establish +clearly that the Shearers began the trouble. Coincidently the Marine +Officers (not all the captains--at anyrate, not those of my +acquaintance--who do not desert their posts under any circumstances) +put themselves, which practically meant the ships as well, under the +"protection" of the Trades Hall--put themselves really under the +domination of the men they were supposed to govern, that they might +force the hands of their masters as the latter had done; but it was the +Shearers' announcement, already made, of their monstrous intentions +that showed the ship-owners what they were in for, and the necessity +for putting the foot down at this point. Having, as they expressed it, +"made concession after concession, for the sake of peace, until they +found that the ever-increasing requirements of the labour bodies +threatened to take the control of their business entirely from them," +they now refused to treat with their officers as unionists, taking all +the consequences of so defiant an act. It was a fight for existence +that had come upon them and the Pastoralists, who between them +represented the staple interests of the country; and they combined +their forces and stood up to continue the argument with the weapons of +the other side. They too formed Unions. + +But it was the Shearers who began it. Long before the shearing +season, the squatters had been commanded to employ none but Union men, +and had continued to employ non-unionists, although sparely, just to +show their independence. The squatters, with the farmers, and indeed +all the country dwellers who have settled homes, are the steady-going +Conservatives of the community, some good reasons for which will be +obvious to the thoughtful reader. Country interests seem always--which +is a great pity--opposed to town interests. There is a "country party" +in every parliament, and in the navigation of public affairs it +generally makes bad weather of it; but this is not due to the quality +of its representatives so much as to their deficient quantity, to the +fact that it is too busy at home to take such part in politics as +would qualify it to meet the other side on equal terms. But it is a +tough-fibred, stout-hearted breed of men, that has not accustomed +itself to being bullied. And it said--and stuck to it with truly +splendid gallantry--that no men or body of men could be allowed to +abrogate "the right of all to work peaceably under the laws of their +country." Very well, said the Shearers' Union in the inevitable +manifesto, then "not an ounce of non-union wool shall go unfought from +Australasia." "All right," rejoined the Pastoralists, in effect, "do +your worst." + +Consider for a moment the Pastoralists' case. They too were men +working for their living--we have no leisured class here--and few of +them but had suffered from droughts and bad times, and depended on +their clip to ease financial embarrassments. "A ring of capitalists +conspiring to crush labour" was how they were constantly described by +the strike leaders, but nothing was further from their intentions than +to ruin themselves if they could help it--the patent result of +hostile action at this time. They only accepted that risk because +there was a higher thing than money at stake. The Shearers, on the +other hand, were exceedingly well off. Good men could get L30 for a +few weeks' work, and then have the bulk of the year for other +avocations, or go on earning at that rate for months together. And the +shearing was not only the sheep farmer's harvest, it was the country's +as well, and all the interests of the country were bound up with it. + +But the strike leaders said that every ounce of wool that came from a +station on which so much as one non-unionist (a Chinese gardener was +sufficient in one case) was employed, was to be boycotted by the whole +strength of the federated labour organisations, and they +light-heartedly set out to do it. Very soon after the commencement of +active hostilities they claimed "the aid of the labour unions of +England, whom in their hour of need Australia aided so well"--as to +which it may be said that of the L20,887 sent to the London dockers up +to 20th November 1889, only L5817 was contributed by the trade +societies; the rest was the gift of soft-hearted non-unionists like +myself, who did not bestow it to ask it back again. + +The great shipping companies--I think the British India was the +first--were ordered to refuse non-union wool as cargo. When they +protested that they were mere public carriers for the world, and that +such a local matter was no concern of theirs, the Wharf Labourers were +called upon to refuse to load it or "come out" in a body. Bakers, +butchers, and other trades were not to supply those vessels which +touched the forbidden thing. When clerks and other non-professional +persons took up the abandoned work, the usual picketing and +persecution ensued--the conventional routine of strikes in all +countries. The odds just here seemed hopelessly against the defenders, +the sheer force of numbers overwhelming. The Seamen's Unions, with +which the Marine Officers had cast in their lot, had cast in theirs +with the Shearers and others, or, rather, their leaders had done so +for them; and the crews came out, officers and all, at a few hours' +notice, as they were "called" one after another, although the +passengers might be on board and perishable cargoes doomed. "Wharves +deserted" was a flaring headline in our morning papers, and the number +of vessels named as compulsorily "laid up" rose daily. The campaign, +from the unionist point of view, progressed without a hitch. + +Until the gas-works went on strike. "All the men at the works come +out," was announced to us one morning, and night brought an uncertain +dimness to the streets and a realisation of what was happening--the +plunging of our great city into darkness, while flooded with this +dangerous element of mob rule. + +This did seem a little too much, and the worm turned. There were +meetings of the Cabinet, and a wholesale creation of special +constables. It was announced by Authority that "order must be +maintained at all hazards," and that it was resolved "to bring 100 +members of the Mounted Rifles, with their horses, and 100 members of +the Rangers from the country districts into Melbourne without delay." +It was ordered that these troops "be kept on duty at the Military +Barracks, St. Kilda Road, and not brought into the city unless +occasion should demand it." But the Governor issued a proclamation +which warned all concerned that a state of legal "riot" had arrived, +which called for legal measures. + +The strikers were nonplussed. First, they did not believe in it; then +they felt furiously insulted; then they "went for" revenge headlong. +That is to say, the strike leaders did so, not only because such was +the natural course for them to take, as enemies of society who had had +soldiers set at them, but because it would have been as much as their +places were worth to admit that they had over-reached themselves. +Powerful they must remain at any cost, or, as far as they were +personally concerned, the game was up; and for the remainder of the +fight, as we saw it, they used all that splendid loyalty and +confidence which was, as it were, trust-money in their hands, to this +one end. If the gas-works could not be taken by assault, they could by +mining. The order went forth that "no more coal ships owned by the +Victorian steamship owners be loaded." The ship-owners being to a +large extent the coal-owners, the wide-reaching effects of this move +can be imagined; every poor family felt them. With a stroke of the pen +the Labour Congress in Sydney called out not only "all the miners from +the Western mines," but "all shearers, rouseabouts, carriers and +others _in any way connected with the wool industry_"--plain wool now, +and never mind who took it from the sheeps' backs. This was the last +card of those desperate gamblers--to destroy the wool industry bodily, +L20,000,000 of the "living" of 4,000,000 people--and it finished the +game they had already thrown away, so far, at anyrate, as Victoria was +concerned. During the following year, 1891, there was a tough struggle +in Queensland, where shearing began with the first month. The +Amalgamated Shearers had hoped that Pastoralists (now amalgamated too) +would "yet see their foolhardiness, and come to some satisfactory +arrangement in favour of the portion of their new rules, which are +obnoxious to the Shearers;" but the Pastoralists did not. Freedom! +Freedom! was still their cry, and they had more strength to back it +now. And when the disappointed ones took to riding about the immense +colony in armed bands, firing grass and wool-sheds, turning (at +anyrate, threatening to turn) out rabbits, and laying obstructions on +the railway lines that carried non-union workmen, then troops and guns +were sent to all the endangered places as far as they would go round, +so that at last the defence was passed on to the Queensland Government +itself, which had to end the duel. But it was in November 1890 that +the Trades of our colony, in meeting assembled, were informed by their +leaders that the strike was at an end, and they must make the best +terms they could with the employers. And our soldiers had not to be +sent anywhere. The moral effect of their known proximity and purpose, +the disgrace of it, was enough to calm the disorder of the town. +Strike leaders took care to give them a wide berth, and the men, who +were not cowards, showed by their attitude of insulted dignity how +this strong measure on the part of Government brought home to them the +lengths to which they had gone. The captain of a mail steamer once +sketched for me the comical picture of his big ship lying off a +certain hostile shore, under the protection of a British gun-boat that +he could have "put into his pocket"; so this handful of +uniforms--militia at that--sufficed to check that mighty organisation +of tens of thousands which so far had stuck at nothing. They did it +by merely "keeping on duty at the Military Barracks," without showing +a nose outside the barrack gates. + +I do not know whether they were disappointed that no more was required +of them, but I think they were, for it was their first chance of +service in the field--as much as they would ever get, it appeared at +the time. Certainly they responded with alacrity to the call for them, +and "stood by" for action with the air of men enjoying themselves. +Tents were pitched in the Barrack Square, and the little camp seethed +with the excitement of its sudden importance. This feature of the +great strike was one of much personal interest to me, because the +barracks were a haunt of mine at this period. A beloved friend, now in +her grave, was there, the wife of the colonel who created the Mounted +Rifles, who commanded the Second Victorian Contingent in South Africa, +a fine soldier of a race of soldiers, and now a C.B. in Imperial +recognition of the fact. Since the breaking-up of my town home at +Toorak, on the death of its head, whose daughter she was, her official +quarters had been its substitute; and many indeed are the happy +memories that flood back upon my mind when now I ride past the massive +granite pile without stopping as I used to do. As a family residence +it was not considered a success. The Barrack Square, seemingly walled +off, was not walled off enough for officers' little boys; the tall +rectangular rooms were gloomy, the stone stairs cold and prison-like, +the back-yard a mere well in the masonry--although the colonel kept +his shooting dogs there, and tried to keep a cow; the basement a haunt +of rats that ate our boots and shoes while they were down to be +cleaned, and one of those public stenches that Melbourne still keeps +amongst her institutions (though this particular one has been +eliminated) so close under the windows that it was necessary to shut +them when the wind blew a certain way. But it was an interesting place +to visit at, apart from the friendship that has hallowed it to me. The +bugle of a morning sent thrills through my waking senses, with its +associations of the past. The stately bustle of military business, +trampings and clankings, and the omnipotent word of command--the +pleasant officers dropping in so often, the reviews, the tattoos--all +had their charm for me, because then I knew only the picturesque +features of soldiering, the romantic side, which I think now it will +never wear again for anybody. + +And there never was a more interesting time at the barracks than that +which saw these country troops massed on the parade ground, waiting to +be summoned to so new and strange a duty. Their colonel was a man +notorious for plain speaking as for plain acting; the straight word +and the swift blow (if necessary) were his, and a perfect scorn of +consequences. In military affairs especially there was no mincing +matters. Business was strictly business. So he told the men, who might +at any time be called out to suppress civilian rioters, what they were +to do in the terms that they were accustomed to. An orderly patience +was to be maintained up to that point where the line had to be drawn; +if that were passed, then, said he, simply, "Fire low and lay 'em +out." + +To "fire low" was, I believe, enjoined under the given circumstances +by the regulations, and to "lay 'em out' is a colonial expression +covering a wide field. His men understood him perfectly, and nobody +within barrack walls had an idea of the potential sensationalism of +his words. But somebody repeated them outside; the exasperated +unionists got hold of them and found a plausible grievance in them, +and they seem to have been immortalised by the tremendous rumpus that +ensued. Here were poor innocent working men, and here was this +bloodthirsty swash-buckler inciting their own brothers to slay them. +Was the country going to allow such an outrage to pass? Not if they +knew it. The colonel had to stand a sort of military trial for his +offence before the avengers could be appeased. It came to nothing, but +gave him as a scapegoat to the revilings of those with whom soldiers +had become so unpopular. They hissed him in public places. They +soothed the soreness of their other reverses by trying to make his +life a burden to him. But it only hurt him through his wife, whose +bright, good life it saddened deeply for a time. "Fire-low" or "Lay +'em out" took the place of his Christian name in the public mouth, and +they keep it still, only that now the bitter nicknames have come to +sound almost like terms of endearment. + +For when the South African struggle came to widen our outlook in so +many directions, there was such a unanimous call for him all over the +country that it cannot be supposed that his one-time enemies did not +join in it. He was not chosen to lead the First Contingent, and the +crowds through which it passed from us loudly voiced their sympathy +with him in the untoward circumstance. I saw him go with the Second, +and the cheers that followed him from the barracks to the ship were +heart-stirring to listen to. It was thought that he was riding his own +charger, which was safe on board, and his borrowed mount was almost +denuded of its mane and tail by the enthusiasts who wanted a hair as a +memento of him; he was nearly dragged from the saddle by the press of +parting hand-shakers. It was the same when he came back, only more so. +Every returned soldier was mobbed by his friends, but the frenzied +"There he is!" and "That's him!" when the big colonel turned a corner +into view, and the resultant roar of welcome, proclaimed the popular +as well as the peculiar hero. + +The military intervention in the struggle of the strike appeared +decisive, but to deeper causes must be ascribed the modifications in +the situation that remained after the dust of combat was cleared away. +Labour Unions in this country were taught to "play the game" as +soldiers would never have taught them. It was the civilians who +manfully refused to knuckle under, who risked all for honour and the +public good, to whom, more than to any other cause whatever, we owe a +dozen years of industrial peace. And if that same wholesome spirit of +true patriotism would arise again to put down a form of tyranny that +has become quite as oppressive and ruinous as the Unionism of old.... + +But we shall see that too, some day. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +OVER THE BORDER + + +My experiences of life in Australia, long in time, have been narrow in +space. Of the thirty years of this chronicle, not six months were +spent outside Victoria. + +In earlier times I paid little visits to Albury, just over the border. +We drove from Y---- in our first buggy, which was bought there, taking +the babies to a house that was full of playmates for them, and where a +couple more or less added nothing to the family cares. Looking out of +my window one morning I realised why this was so. In a back-yard +below, on a kitchen chair, sat the hostess's young widowed +sister-in-law, who lived with her and was the mother of two; these +two, my two, and the dozen or thereabouts of the family proper, sat or +stood round her like a class in school, and from a huge basin on her +lap she fed the lot, each in turn, a spoonful at a time, round and +round, until the supplies were exhausted. The serious faces of the +little ones as they opened their mouths wide one after the other +showed they were not at games, but performing a duty they were +accustomed to. When I went down to breakfast I was quietly informed +that the children had had theirs and gone out to play. But I think my +clearest memory of Albury is of the splendid Fallon vineyards and +cellars, in which one morning a hospitable proprietor offered us +tastes of his famous brands in innumerable little glasses, which +politeness constrained me to "sample" at all costs. Taking but a sip +of each, I reckoned that I must have swallowed a quantity fully equal +to my daily allowance for a fortnight; and we drove home in the sun +directly afterwards. I am proud to say that, although not a seasoned +vessel, I passed the ordeal undisgraced even by a headache--my late +host had confidently predicted it--otherwise I should not tell this +tale. + +Then I once went to Tasmania--for four hours. This was not very long +ago, and I have ever since been awaiting opportunities to extend my +acquaintance with that charming place--so green, so cool, so rich in +the quality of its earth and all that springs from it, rightly +entitled to its name of the "garden island" as far as my skimming eye +could judge. Being out of health, I had taken one of those sudden +longings for the sea which come over me at such times, an instinctive +animal craving after the natural remedy for my complaint; and I had a +friend in the captain of a smart steamer plying to Tasmanian ports. An +invitation to a trip, as a privileged passenger, was too tempting to +be refused. Thus I found myself one morning, tucked up in pillows and +a 'possum rug in a long chair on the bridge, eating my breakfast of +fried fish and coffee while I gazed at the Tasmanian shore, which we +skirted between ports for several hours. We were near enough to +discern the little farmhouses in the nooks of the hills, the little +figures of milkers and carters, and housewives hanging the wash on the +clothes line; and there was a beautiful coach-road running up and +down and round the corners amongst the trees that I shall never be +satisfied until I have driven over. I have spoken of it to those who +have, and they tell me that imagination cannot conceive of it as more +beautiful than it really is, given the right season and weather. + +By-and-by we turned a corner ourselves and steered into a channel that +presently opened out into a little inland bay, a little port, +connected by a toy railway with Launceston. Its little town and +wharves, where other ships were loading and unloading, occupied a +section of the wooded hills enclosing it; elsewhere the green +basin-rim was dotted with nestling homes, and their orchards and +gardens. It was towards noon, and I was called to an early lunch, +after which the captain appeared in mufti to take me for a walk. We +were through the streets in a few minutes, and on a quiet road lined +with great holly-hedges, a mighty tree of which, one blaze of scarlet, +stood in a garden where the earliest spring flowers were sprouting +from rich brown earth such as I had never seen on this side of the +world. We followed the course of the bay as it narrowed in amongst the +hills until it became a mere woodland brook burrowing under the +bushes. The grass was lush and dewy, and the colour of the soil, where +the path revealed it, as delightful to English eyes as the colour of +flowers. It was too early for more than a sprinkling of these, but I +filled my hands with ferns and other vernal treasures that told me +what a Paradise the land would be in a few weeks if that was a fair +sample of it. We "hustlers" of the mainland think it a fine place to +visit in the hot weather, but far too dull and behind-the-times to +live in; but to those who love Nature and a quiet home, and find +their intellectual resources in themselves, what an ideal environment! +"Here," said I to the captain, as we strolled back to the ship, "is +where I should like to spend my last days--to rest when work is done." +The idea obscured for a time the settled plan of my life, which is to +get "Home" somehow before the final event. We sailed in the afternoon, +and from the bridge I watched the fading of the green land as I had +watched its unfolding, but feeling now that it was my friend for life. +Now and then you look into a face which gives you the masonic sign of +a natural affinity, absent in fifty faces that ought to be more dear; +thus it was with Tasmania, which captured my heart at the first +glance. + +The furthest and the chiefest of my few jaunts abroad was to the +mother-city of the mother-state--Sydney. And there is no place like +Sydney. I am firm on that point, although I am a Victorian, in whom +such an admission is rank heresy; and a son of mine who has spent +several Long Vacs. there--in summer, when I would not go near it--is +even more decidedly of the same mind. It was in the year following +that of my illness in hospital, and while I was enjoying my fresh +lease of life, that I took the journey after several false starts. + +The captain--an intimate friend in private life--of an Orient liner +telegraphed to me his arrival in port, the hour of his departure for +Sydney, and the information that cabins had been reserved for me. Two +of them, I found when I got on board. As I did not travel with a maid +I took but one, which afforded twice the accommodation that I had paid +for; even that I only occupied for a night. It was a stormy night, and +at daybreak the captain and stewardess surveyed from the doorway a +wretched object in the lower bunk, and it was ordered that I be +brought upstairs to the commander's quarters. His cabin on deck had +been my drawing-room the evening before; it now became my lodging +altogether until we reached port. In the fresh air blowing through it, +and after a light meal of champagne and biscuits, I recovered my +equilibrium, and was able to thoroughly enjoy myself all day. Then the +captain betook himself to the chart-room, where he had a bed that the +weather did not allow him to use, and his servant wedged me in with +pillows as I lay, still wearing the becoming and comfortable +dressing-gown of semi-public life. I had promised not to undress, in +view of his intention to fetch me up to the bridge when the little +world below had done with us, that I might be gratified by the sight +of a storm at sea under circumstances quite outside the common +experience and never likely to occur again in mine. It was officially +a "full" gale, and the newspapers of the next morning reported the +velocity of the wind to have been up to eighty miles an hour. It was, +moreover, the depth of winter and the dead of night. The turmoil of +the sea was tremendous, but it did not upset me now; I was quite well +and happy, swinging to the heavy roll and pitch of the ship in the +soft but tight clasp of my wedging pillows, thankful that no feeling +of sleepiness came to waste the time that was storing such romantic +impressions. Presently the skipper called at the half-open door. He +had oilskins and a woollen scarf, into which I was buttoned and tied; +he dragged me out into the storm, and somehow we staggered and +struggled over the swimming deck and up the stairs to the bridge and +the chart-room, where I spent half of the most wonderful night of my +life, with him and the helmsman and the spirits of the Deep. The +picture of that midnight sea could not fade from my memory in a +thousand years. Looking down from our high platform in the air at the +bulk of the vessel under us, big mail steamer that she was, the +thought of her as man's work, effectually defying, as it seemed, the +whole weight of the Universe, was more inspiring than words can say. +Still more wonderful was the fortitude and vitality of two ships that +passed us, fighting against the furious wind and not being hurtled +along before it as we were. I was sure they were foundering, but not a +bit of it--they were only going to be late at their destination. + +We were early at ours, passing through Sydney Heads at daybreak before +pilots expected us. When I went down to my cabin to dress I found my +belongings stowed on the upper bunk and the rest of the room wet from +the deluging seas that had swept us through the night. It was raw and +grey now, but calm within the harbour, the loveliness of which did not +reveal itself to me immediately. I was too rushed to get my hair done +and my shore clothes on to have time to look for it. Here we have +three hours of smooth water on which to make landing toilets; Sydney +has but a few minutes. When I returned, cloaked and bonneted, to my +late host, his successor was with him, awaiting me; and I was soon at +breakfast on shore, making the acquaintance of what I believed to be +the most charming city in the southern hemisphere. Well, at anyrate, +it is incomparably charming to me. Of course, if I had gone there as a +friendless woman, to struggle for a living in cheap lodgings, I might +have pronounced it ordinary--even horrid, a term that I once actually +heard applied to it by a mole-eyed person to whom it had never given a +good time. Or if I had gone again, to get second impressions. Or if +the weather--that arbitrary dispenser of joy and beauty--had not been +as heavenly-sweet as it was for all the three weeks of my sojourn +there. My letters from home reported rain, snow, dull skies, bad +colds, a thorough winter of discontent; I was out every day in +sunshine tempered with cool sea winds, an exhilarating freshness that +made a bit of fur and an evening fire comfortable; and the wild +flowers of spring were beginning to speckle the hills--cascades of +something like white foam surrounded a rocky lunching camp on a +memorable occasion--although it was only July. + +I cannot recall one hour that does not bring pleasant thoughts to +mind. Even at night I lay with the gleaming harbour under my eyes +whenever I liked to open them to look, and I loved the strange +experience of having my room flooded as with a search-light by the +revolving beam of the great South Head Light. As an early riser I +habitually wake at dawn, and then I watched the moving ships--a +pastime I could never weary of--until called to my bath. They curved +in and right up to the thresholds of our doors--that is one of the +features of this harbour which few others can match. The masts seem to +grow out of the streets, and you can step from the deck of a great +liner to your cab as easily as from one room to the next. + +At breakfast the programme for the day was submitted, and always it +had been carefully compiled so as to comprise as much variety of +pleasure as possible. I was taken on a cursory tour over the city the +first day--round the Domain and through the main streets and +beauty-places, to get that first good impression which has so much to +do with the after ones. I was enchanted with Sydney--even with the +narrow and twisted thoroughfares that are the mock of all good +Melbournites; they give "bits" of architectural composition delightful +to the uncommercial eye. In the evening we went to the theatre, and +afterwards to Parliament House, where the debaters came between whiles +to speak to us, and where I enjoyed a quite new and intensely +interesting experience up to one o'clock in the morning. Next day I +was at the Prorogation, and members entertained us with champagne in +private rooms, and I was shown parliamentary life behind the scenes. I +remember Lord Brassey was there, a visiting yachts-man, whom we did +not then anticipate would be anything more to us. As the hero of _The +Voyage of the Sunbeam_--then lying in Farm Cove, open to sightseers--I +looked at him a great deal, and also at the author of that book, who +at the ceremony sat just before me with her little daughters. She was +having her last taste of travel and of life. + +The afternoon of the same day brought quite a change of scene. That +very nice man, the current American Consul, came to fetch us to a +function that was after my own heart--the "send-off" of a popular +American actress by the San Francisco mail. I cared nothing who the +honoured person was; to assist at the departure of a ship was enough +for me. In a carriage piled with flowers we drove to the quay, and +there took tender for the _Zealandia_, lying in Lavender Bay. Before +the arrival of the heroine of the occasion I investigated the ship +that was to carry her--wondering if the day would ever come when such +an one would carry me. Then the crowd gathered until all one's wits +were needed to avoid being crushed in alley-ways and corners. The +distinguished traveller did not impair the effect by arriving too +early; her company preceded her, also her humble husband, hugging her +jewel-box to his breast as he hunted for the purser to take it from +him and deposit it in the strong-room, and while still unrelieved of +his responsibility naming to us and the general public the enormous +sum that it was worth. When at last she came--such a small and +ordinary-looking, every-day woman compared with the glittering stage +vision of the previous night--she was nursing and guarding a strange +bundle of her own, which, when opened in her cabin, disclosed a little +native bear that she was taking home to make a pet of. The wallet that +was to be its travelling house was lined with fur and had been +carefully constructed for the purpose, and a consignment of the +animal's natural foods was amongst her luggage. We crowded into her +room, where more champagne flowed, not always into the right +receptacles; bouquets were presented--they heaped her bed--and +speeches made. Then visitors were rung off the ship, and sat round in +their various small boats to cheer and wave handkerchiefs while the +_Zealandia_ got under way, and then chased the stately liner as long +as they could keep up with her. Our golden-haired friend was kind +enough to stand where we could see her, and was still hugging the fur +bag with the little bear in it as we looked our last. When we regained +the Consul's carriage he took us a drive round the Domain for the +balance of the afternoon, that loveliest hour when Sydney glows pink +in the setting sun and the whole scene is steeped in a dream-like haze +that I never saw in any other place. I suppose the smoke and other +breathings of the city, blending perhaps with exhalations of the sea, +weave that wonderful veil. It is certain that the paintings of a +sinking sun upon distant ranges in the country are never so beautiful +as when there is a Bush fire about. + +Next morning to Lane Cove--the first of the unforgetable series of +excursions about that harbour which indeed the wildest boasts of its +shore-dwellers could never do justice to. In the bright winter +weather, which to all intents and purposes was spring--the mean +temperature of Sydney, by the way, is two degrees above that of Nice, +and roses are never out of flower the whole year round--I suppose I +saw it at its best. We landed from the steamer on a bosky and solitary +shore, and basked awhile on beach boulders encrusted with oysters, +before climbing the steep paths to look at views. My son tells me that +when he goes on these excursions with his young parties they take +bread and butter and their pocket-knives with them, so that they can +sit down to a meal of oysters at any place or time. There was another +charming drive in the afternoon; in the evening theatre again, and a +midnight visit to a great newspaper office, where I was initiated into +the mysteries of newspaper production by all the modern processes, +including that of photographing by electric light. + +Next day to Coogee--an ocean shore, with great breakers thundering on +it. Here lived a literary wife and painter husband in a little wooden +house perched high upon the cliffs, where I think we lunched. A +Saturday night party of authors, artists, and press-men--my host was a +distinguished member of the latter clan--completed another day in the +most brilliant manner. Talk of good company! I smile when I compare +that party with any Society party that I ever attended. But no +comparison is possible. + +It is one of my delightful memories of Sydney, that it had this +intellectual kernel at its heart. I might not have found it in a +lifetime had I entered the social life of the place by any other door, +and so I hardly like to say that we have nothing of the kind in +Melbourne, where my opportunities of search are limited. But friends of +my own profession, who know the resources of both capitals, agree in +the opinion that there really is nothing like it here. The number of +representatives of letters and the arts, to whom mind and not money is +the essential thing, may be as great, but there is no cohesion amongst +them. They are lost in the general crowd. The little guild in Sydney +was a compact and living body, and carried out its objects in uniting +together with a sincerity rarely to be met with in the history of +clubs. Subscriptions were not the first consideration--nor the second, +nor the third; the question of its outward appearance was of the least +importance. No gilding, no formality, no aesthetics--liberty and ease, +any sort of a chair, a pipe and the right companionship--that was the +idea; and it was good indeed to see the traditions of the intellectual +life respected in that way. + +I was its guest at a conversazione on the Wednesday following the +Saturday supper-party. The intervening time was filled with fresh and +bright sensations--more harbour trips, alternating with rambles about +the old quarters of the town, the "Rocks," Argyle Cut, the +Observatory, those blind streets and steep stairs from one tier to +another, which struck me as so romantic and un-Australian; and the +Arts Club's entertainment made the best possible contrast and relief +to these. We did not dress too much. I was advised that my skirt must +clear the ground, and for the rest a modest fichu and elbow sleeves +seemed the most that good taste permitted. We set forth on foot in the +cool darkness, comfortably untrammelled, and on arrival were received +by our friends of the previous Saturday and many more, who piloted us +through a series of little rooms, which were soon packed to the point +where a dress-train would have rendered its wearer altogether +immovable. We squeezed from place to place, a step at a time, ever +meeting somebody or something to make us positively enjoy the heat and +crush. Chairs and necessary tables, a piano, a blackboard, a raised +platform or two, comprised the furniture of the homely suite; its +ornaments were sketches pinned all over the walls, and the scientific +and artistic things that covered the tables, outspread for the ladies' +amusement. The mural decorations were fine. Phil May was a leading +light of the society, and the grimy and bedaubed plaster laughed with +his conceits at every turn. Amongst them was a portrait of the then +Governor of New South Wales, Lord Carington, as an utterly +disreputable vagabond. With no name to it, it was such a speaking +likeness of him, as he would have been if he could have metamorphosed +himself into such a character, that no one mistook the subject for an +instant. It was a focus of mirth the evening through. I wonder what +became of it? It might have been disrespectful, but it was a work of +art, and I think he who had inspired it would have valued it as much +as anybody. When, amongst other entertainments, this gifted +artist--and his equally (I used to think more) gifted colleague, "Hop" +of the _Bulletin_, who, still remaining with us, has not shared his +comrade's fame--drew "lightning sketches" on the blackboard with a +lump of chalk, we saw pictures that it was indeed a wicked waste to +destroy for ever a few seconds after they were made. Consummate +artfulness as well as art was employed, for the strokes were so put in +that we could not make head or tail of them until only the crowning +one or two were needed; then suddenly the multitude roared as with one +throat, and someone in the audience sat up in confused astonishment, +while everybody else turned to look and laugh at him. The last touch +of the chalk had given us his portrait to the life, with a shade of +caricature more or less, but unmistakable. I have always looked back +to those lightning sketches, so witty, so good-natured, so extremely +clever, as the most refined form of entertainment that I ever enjoyed, +and certainly the most generous. In other rooms were music, +recitations, microscopes, and such things; and everywhere kindred +spirits were intermingling and intercommuning. The ungarnished supper +was carried on trays over our heads--coffee and sandwiches, and cakes +and tarts from the pastry-cook's--and distributed to hands and mouths +with much difficulty and various mishaps; and at last we broke up and +broke away, and trotted home through the beautiful fresh night, still +exhilarated with all the mental champagne we had imbibed, leaving our +hosts, as we were secretly informed, to make a night of it on their +own account over pipes and whisky. + +There was yet another Saturday party--the party of them all. We +started out to it in the sweetest weather to be found on earth, sunny +and fresh, the living light of the sky the colour of nemophilas and +the sea like liquid diamonds under it--poor similes both for the glory +of that spring-like winter morning. On foot from Pott's Point to the +Quay, by boat to Mosman's, up the ferny sandstone hills to breezy +heights where I stood enraptured to look upon the Sound and the Heads +and the Pacific outspread below, and down a crooked woodland path to a +sequestered beach, we took our way: and if there had been nothing to +get to at the end, the walk alone would have been a joy for ever. But +on that lonely bit of shore, backed by the steep hills, fronted by the +open gateway of the Heads, stood "the Camp"--the camp, if I may be +allowed to remind the reader (with apologies, owed twice over, to the +camp's proprietors), which I sketched in my novel, _A Marked Man_, +written while the impressions of the place were fresh in my mind. The +proprietors were two members of the Arts Club--men with homes and +families in the city--who made this their private resting-place and +holiday resort. They had gathered a choice assortment of their +fellow-members on this occasion; they were "giving a party." But no +woman had been allowed to take any hand in the affair; their wives +were as much guests as I was; their cook was their old sailor +caretaker, whose huge blocks of cold roast and boiled, hot potatoes +and plum duff, bread and cake from his own camp oven, required no +kickshaws to supplement them. It was a banquet for the gods, with that +sauce of sea air to it. The permanent tent, combined sitting- and +bedroom, was the drawing-room of groups of us in turn; we crowded on +the covered-up truckle beds and the floor (of pine boards, well raised +from the sand) for afternoon tea; at lunch we sat on planks under an +awning, at long plank tables, like children at a school feast. It was +a perfect "spree," but at the back of the merry trifling was that deep +intellectual enjoyment of cultivated minds rubbing together which is +so rare in social gatherings. We strolled in twos and threes along the +lovely little beach, and sprawled under the bushes, and talked, +talked; a few games had been provided, but there were no blanks to +fill with them after lunch had crystallised us. The walk back to the +boat was the best of all. The sun was setting as we climbed out of the +glen of the camp, and, looking back from points of vantage as we rose, +we saw the moon swim up over the North Head--black as ebony above the +pale glitter of the water, while all other visible land was wrapped in +that beautiful rosy haze which so glorified every feature of it. Then +the great South Head Light began its revolutions, pouring over us and +the darkening path at intervals of a minute. I do not know how far +that long ray reaches, but I know that it is brilliant in the eyes of +the homing traveller for hours before his steamer makes the Heads. + +It was on the following morning that we took boat for Watson's Bay, +and stood near the lighthouse to look down the sheer wall at the foot +of which the _Dunbar_ was wrecked, one only of her living freight +surviving to tell the tale. It was awful to think of that event with +the scene under one's eyes--the jagged cliff face going down and down, +the thundering whirlpool raging at the bottom of it; and this was a +sunny Sunday morning, and that was pitch-black night, so thick with +rain and storm that a careful navigator accustomed to the port could +not see the beacon lit for him. But it was not, I think, the present +light; it could not have been. + +Those out-door excursions and intellectual entertainments--and I have +not named the half of them--come first in my memories of this time; +they are the pictures "on the line"; but around them were packed many +social incidents of a less special but still interesting kind. We went +to men-o'-war parties, which are always charming--the German +_Bismarck_ in particular was splendidly hospitable--and the American +Consul took pleasure in giving us dinner-theatre evenings. Between +whiles we gave parties at home, and filled the interstices with +drives. And so every day was a full holiday, and I was always well, +and the sky was always blue and the sun shining. And so, when people +ask me what I think of Sydney, I tell them that it is an earthly +Paradise. Nothing will shake that conviction--until I go again. + +I returned home overland, rather than descend to the status of an +ordinary passenger on a steamboat to whose captain I was unknown, and +I left my glass slipper on the Redfern platform. "Would you," implored +a strange lady at my carriage window, as the express was about to +start, "oh, would you mind taking charge of this little girl, who is +travelling to Melbourne alone?" She handed up a child, and what could +I do? I said I was not accustomed to taking charge of myself, that I +had never made the journey before, and was not going as far as +Melbourne; but she was sure it would be all right. What a night I had, +with no sleeping berth available! And in the dark of the raw morning, +when we were bundled out at Albury and into the hands of the Customs' +officers, while looking after the child's luggage I lost my own, and +did not recover it for months afterwards. And then I landed at W----, +chilled to the bone and exhausted with my fatigues, and had to wait +many hours for the B---- branch train; and finally reached home to +find winter again and all kinds of arrears of work awaiting me. I sat +down to mend the stockings, and two days later there was snow upon the +ground. + +After all, that was the best part of it. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +THE END OF BUSH LIFE + + +In 1893 our long country life came to an end. For years we had been +hankering after a Melbourne parish, and at times, I must confess, had +done a little canvassing for the vote and interest of the influential, +under the well-founded impression that Providence helps those who help +themselves; but it is very hard, when once "out of it," as the +country-clergy describe their case, to get in, and we had come to +consider our chances of metropolitan preferment as about equal to that +of the camel which would pass through a needle's eye. Then suddenly it +came to us, unsought. + +There are three ways of reaching the goal, in our diocese. To be +elected by the Board of Nominators is the regular way. When a parish +falls vacant the Board meets to fill it from a prepared list of +eligible candidates. The diocesan nominators have probably agreed upon +their man; the equal number of parochial nominators have almost +certainly done the same; the Bishop, acting as chairman, has the +casting vote. There is generally a friendly discussion, in which one +side or the other may allow itself to be over-ruled, but the result +may be fairly calculated upon when the parish representatives are +united and resolute, and not too unreasonable in their choice. Since +they pay the piper, they naturally demand to call the tune, and +considerations of justice no less than of peace make it inadvisable to +force an unwelcome instrumentalist upon them. What the parishes want +is the man they know--the man on the spot, that is--and let him be as +young and smart as possible. Seniority and long service have no part +in the merits of the case, so far as they are concerned. The old Bush +parson who, in his favourite phrase, has borne the burden and heat of +the day, and sees himself deprived of what he regards as his +legitimate reward, is not the man for them; for the efficiency of a +church in this country is in the last resort a matter of money, which +is also--it cannot be denied, nor can it be helped--the matter of +first concern to its official guardians. A good man is desirable, of +course, but not if he is too old and out of date to draw the large and +lively congregation necessary to the maintenance of a satisfactory +income. This is the squalid way in which the voluntary system works, +and I often wish the advocates of Disestablishment at home could live +under it for a few years. On the other hand I know the defects of the +arrangement I was brought up to. I remember a half-witted rector of my +child's days, occupant of a family living, who used to run belated to +the reading-desk dragging on his surplice over his hunting pinks and +tops, or leave us to wait for him in vain while he carried his +Saturday diversions too far afield to get home for Sunday; and another +who left all to a poor curate while he lived on the income of his fat +living in foreign parts; and still another--the son of a bishop, who +had bestowed the plums of the see upon him ere he was grown up--whose +long retinue of liveried servants was an object of interest to me at +church, and who, one of the last of the big pluralists, still alive +in old age when I left England, was too high above his parishioners to +be approached except through the humble curate. There are faults in +both systems--in all. And as for the one I am speaking of, which +leaves the old worker unpaid, and gives the prize to the beginner who +has not earned it, I for my part do not see that any great wrong is +done. That the world is for the young is Nature's own decree; if we, +who are no longer of that fortunate company, cannot see it, we ought. +We too have been young, we should remember, and have had our favoured +day--that day when we had as good a chance of getting the better of +our betters (if they were our betters) as those who supersede us now. +But what I started to say was that the regular path of promotion to a +Melbourne parish is to be elected by the Board of Nominators, and that +that path was virtually closed to us--not because we were old, for we +were not, but because we were so distant and little known. + +The second way is to be appointed directly by the Bishop. But, with +few exceptions, the Bishop can choose for himself only in the case of +parishes too small to have their own nominators, or not bothering to +have them, or not qualified to have them because their churches are +still in debt. A church must not only be built, but paid for, before +it can be consecrated, the act of consecration carrying with it full +parochial rights. These lame ducks of parishes did not come into our +account. + +The third way is by exchange. This was our way. + +G., being in town, fell in with the incumbent of the place which is +now our home. He had occupied it for many years, without thought of +leaving it; but his wife was convalescing from severe illness, and +the doctor had advised that she be taken from the sea to a bracing +inland climate. The climate we had to offer seemed the very thing--and +I may say here that it proved so, even beyond expectations--and the +suggestion of an exchange, coming in the nick of time as it did, was +hailed as a special interposition of Providence. That was exactly what +we thought it. + +About a week after G.'s return, Canon S. came up to B---- to +investigate. It rained hard, and he was a little dashed at first; he +called the picturesque little house a "shanty," though not in our +hearing. But when the weather cleared he brightened with it, and I +think I may say that he never had another regret in connection with +the place. The vestry was consulted, and the three parish nominators +gave consent. A few days later the Bishop gave his. Then G. went to +town, to be "passed," in his turn, by the vestry of the other parish, +and a night or two afterwards, as I was going to bed, the telegraph +boy brought me a message from him:--"All satisfactorily settled." + +The invalid came up, and we established her, with a daughter, in the +nicest lodgings we could find. She was a dreadful wreck, apparently +past being mended by any climate, but the next time I saw her she beat +all the records of persons of sixty-five for joyous energy and +youthfulness. "I wake up in the morning," she said to me, "and wonder +what it is that makes me feel so happy." It was the same with her +husband, several years her senior. "I can walk twelve hilly miles, and +take a service, and walk back again," he bragged, his figure and step +and fine-featured old face alert and alive. "I am twenty years younger +than when I came." + +Certainly B---- deserves to be one of the sanatoriums of the world, +and it is the fact that English doctors, who knew its virtues, sent +several hopeless invalids to us, either to make miraculous recoveries +or to prolong for years in tolerable comfort some life not worth a +month's purchase at home. One of the latter cases I lovingly recall to +mind--that of a gifted young fellow who, with mother and sisters, had +rooms in our chief hotel year after year, although he came to us in +apparently the last stage of consumption. He was a dear friend of +mine, and a loss to the stock of intellect and genius in the world. +"Don't you think I'd better stop this?" he once said to me as we were +taking a Bush walk. "I am keeping my mother too long from her home and +the rest of her family, and doing nothing to compensate her for what I +cost." He meant that he had only to cease breathing that life-giving +air to bring on the inevitable end, and that the sooner it came the +better for those who were exiled for his sake. We discussed the matter +quite fully, and in the quietest way, and I persuaded him that it was +better to go on, on their account and his own, at least until the +effort became too painful. He died amongst us at last, but none of +them regretted those saved years which he unquestionably owed to the +B---- climate. A consumptive friend of his came out to try the cure, +and became so well that he thought himself proof against further +danger, and went home again--to die. Another consumptive, whom winters +on the Riviera and in the Engadine had failed to benefit, lived in +B---- for, I think, five years, and from the day he came gained much +ground and never lost any; he was an active townsman, hard put to it +to find enough to do, and seemed to enjoy life as much as any of us. +Unfortunately he had a delicate wife, a sufferer from acute asthma, +for which a milder climate was required. The rare and vigorous climate +of our hills was pronounced to be as bad for her as it was good for +him. She grew worse and worse, and so they struck camp and went down +to live by the sea--and there he died. Of course he might have died if +he had stayed in B----. On the other hand, he might have been alive +now. + +But the best proof I can give of the healthiness of those parts is the +case of three brothers, the elder of whom entertained me on my first +visit into the remoter wilds of our first parish. Originally they were +four brothers, sons of a highly-placed English clergyman, all four +smitten with consumption, out in Australia to save their lives, if +possible. One was too far gone and died before he could get a start; +another, being at the time in apparently sound health, was killed in a +buggy accident many years later; the remaining two are still enjoying +life, as hale as the average old man of their age, and indeed more +than that. The elder, on that memorable drive to his home amongst the +Murray ranges, told me he had left England with but one lung. "I used +to feel it when digging or climbing hills," said he, "but now it +troubles me very little"--and that was thirty years ago. He had +already been some time in the country. + +They had good blood in their veins, but little or no money in their +pockets, and they had to make their own way by the hardest of hard +work--the sort of work that was done in those days, when men were men. +Indeed, the history of their career is the most instructive thing that +I can put into this casual chronicle, and I am glad I thought of it +before too late. + +The three brothers took up land, wild, uncleared land, together; each +had his own piece, but neighboured the other two. With their own hands +they felled trees and made fences, and built their huts and yards, dug +and ploughed and milked and all the rest of it--these consumptive +lads!--which seems to show that not only the right air, but strong +exercise in it, is necessary for the complaint. They spent nothing in +labour and next to nothing on food. They raised their own meat and +vegetables, made their own candles--after awhile sold them as +well--and their own soap; used wild honey for sugar, and indeed +carried frugality to the finest point in every direction. As soon as +they could marry they chose useful wives, who did not want servants, +but would nurse the baby with one hand and scrub and wash and make +butter with the other. When I paid the visit I speak of I found the +children trotting about bare-footed, in linsey-woolsey (I forget how +to spell that word) overalls, little sacks in shape, with two holes to +put the legs through, in which they could make mud pies without +spoiling anything. At dinner, after the mutton, there was a lovely +apple pudding, as I thought; I remember my greedy chagrin at finding +it was filled with quinces (so soon after the W---- quinces), to be +eaten with wild honey instead of sugar. The jams were also made with +wild honey, and the cakes and other sweets. + +This was the way to get on in the world, and the fortunes of this +household rose to the level of its deserts. Soon after I had made his +acquaintance, the house-father took a trip home, leaving his admirable +wife to keep things going in his absence. He came back with three +young Jackaroos, sons of the good families associated with his own, +enterprising lads with money and a desire for the life he had made +successful; they paid him high premiums for instruction, and he set +them on his farm work--which was far better, from his point of view, +than paying professional labourers to do it. One of them felt +aggrieved at being kept at milking and fencing within such narrow +bounds, and ran away and was never heard of more--by me; the other +two, and more who followed them, bought stations and took root in the +country, which they have made their own. + +So this plan of the relays of paying instead of paid labourers +increased the resources of our friend, and he started upon fresh +enterprises. He parted with his much-improved holding, settled his +family in a town where the growing children could go as day scholars +to one of the best public schools, and started for "out back" in +Queensland. Land speculation here was a big thing, with big money +hanging to it, in those days; and he was the right man for the golden +chance he saw. He took up country, no longer by acres but by miles, +did something to it to give it a claim to be a civilised "property," +sold it, and went back further to repeat the process. + +In a short time he was a very wealthy man. I believe the Boom and its +consequences gave him a bad set-back, but he could afford it. His +family, in a fine town house, have lived the life of the rich for many +years. The other surviving brother was of a slower temperament. He +still sits, as Dik would say, upon the same land that he first +squatted on--probably in the same house (with additions to it). He +dairy-farms, as so many of his neighbours now do, getting up with his +sons in the middle of the night to milk and to drive the load of cans +to the Butter Factory near by. He still works hard, and he has not +made his fortune. A quiet, staunch, useful man in shire and church and +all the relations of life, and "as good as they make 'em." Both are +good, and their country would be the better of a few more of the same +sort. + +And to think that it was all due to the accident of climate! For one +may be almost sure it was. + +Walk some fresh spring or autumn morning up those hills, as I used to +do--having always loved to kill two birds with one stone, and three +birds if possible, I would at those seasons take my work there, so as +to combine business with pleasure and with profit to my health--and +you will feel that you are literally drinking the elixir of life. A +week ago I went to call on an old friend come back from England, after +some years' residence there--her husband had been one of those very +Jackaroos of whom I have just been speaking--and she told me she had +been for a trip up to B----, where she had once lived, while we were +there. "I had forgotten," she said, "what that air was. It was a new +revelation to me. There certainly can be nothing like it in the +world"--and she had been travelling extensively. Yes, although I was +ill there, and felt that nothing but the sea would cure me, I go back +now at intervals, when the sea has temporarily failed in its effects, +and I get the same surprise that she did, every time. I step out upon +the little platform in the clear, cold night, at the end of my long +journey from the muggy city, and that stuff that I draw into my +expanding lungs makes a new creature of me in three breaths. + +Well, those mornings in the hills ... let me try to describe one of +them--in April, let us say. + +It begins with a nipping-cold bath and a roaring fire to breakfast by. +But while we pile the logs on the hearth we also set wide the two +door-windows to the sun. The meal and little housekeepings disposed +of, I look out over the tree-fern on the rockery to the sky which I +can see above the bank of new-blown chrysanthemums that line the upper +fence--look at the cat basking full-length on the threshold--and fetch +my big hat. Half an hour later I am in another world. + +It is ten o'clock, and the sun has been shining with all its might +since eight, yet the dew is thick on the steep and rugged track and on +the little strips of lawn between the rocks; my stout boots, made on +purpose for this rough work, and the hems of my petticoats are +drenched. No delicate wild flowers in these verdant spaces now. The +grass tufts are sprinkled with dead leaves and wisps of bark with the +colour bleached out of them. When those brittle shavings were freshly +peeled their outsides were a rich chocolate tint and the insides a +tender shade of lilac. They come from a large-leaved kind of gum-tree, +and I have often carried bits home and laid them on my writing-table, +merely to look at the colour, as if they were flowers; but they fade +like flowers too. + +11 A.M.--I sit with pencil and paper on my knee. The sun has long +since dried my skirts and is now burning my boots. I bask in the +warmth and the matchless air, like the cat on the doorstep, and +(having successfully dodged my dog) in the utmost solitude that can be +imagined. Though the hidden town behind me is so near, I have only +once, in scores of mornings, met a human being here--a local +naturalist with a butterfly-net. Not even a bridle-track threads the +thousand hills of which the one I sit on is as a single wave in a +heaving sea--a sea flowing to the horizon. The distant ranges and the +sky are of hues that neither language nor pigment could give an idea +of. The ranges are covered with trees, the rounded, feathery tops only +showing, with the effect of plush or the bloom of downy fruit; their +turquoise tint has a shade of indigo in it, deepening in the folds to +an intenser colour. The sky is living blue light, without an earthly +stain. + +Nearer--more within the limits of this world--wooded and rocky slopes, +darkly green against those heavenly blues, fold over unseen valleys at +my feet; nearer still, the gum saplings, with the sun shining through +their leaves, the sharply-contrasting spears of Murray pine, the +tossed heaps of granite rocks, mossed, lichened, fern-fringed in shady +crevices, the wattle tree that makes a frame for the beautiful whole. +It will be a golden frame later on; to-day its blossoms are +represented by crinkled buds of the size of a pin's head. Spiders' +webs shine between twigs and the green blades under them. The light +flashes up and down the little threads continually; they are never +still, though there is hardly a stir of air. + +But never was solitude less lonely. There is only too much +companionship for the purpose I have in view. The leaves talk, +although there is hardly a stir of air--the little tongues glitter at +the edges as they swing and turn; and another voice accompanies them, +one that never ceases and cannot be ignored. It belongs to a waterfall +in a hidden gorge near by. The stream, yellower than any Tiber with +the washings of gold mines, tumbles several hundreds of feet over a +jagged staircase of rock to the valley beneath, and makes a great +commotion at that place; here it is merely a purring, crooning whisper +all the time. Birds are scarce, but every now and then a handful of +minute brown things, with a delicate little unobtrusive twitter, +scatter themselves around me. A crow comes and sits as near as he +dare, to complain of my intrusion; perhaps he does not mean to +complain, but his comment upon my presence seems a perfect wail of +woe. As for the ground-dwellers--lizards, spiders, ants--they are +constant company, and the most distracting of all with their +complicated manoeuvres, which are full of cultivated intelligence when +you come to look into them, There was a time when the presence and +curiosity of so many little active creatures seemed a drawback to the +otherwise perfect charm of the place, but now I do not mind them any +more than they mind me. The trouble is that I cannot mind them less. +More and more I neglect my own business to watch them at theirs, until +I have to recognise that this study would have to be given up, even if +winter were not near. + +Winter ... that word reminds me of other scenes. There is an entry in +my journal against June 6th, 1887:--"Five hours' heavy snow. Five +inches on the ground." And another for the same month two years +later:--"Woke up to find everything white with snow. Four inches +officially reported. Broke trees and bushes." Our distant ranges used +to wear white caps for weeks together, and white mantles on occasion, +but oh, the joy of shovelling snow in one's own garden! It rarely +stayed long enough to be shovelled, but once in a way it did, and the +first of the occasions cited is unforgetable, because it was the +first. + +All the year round we sleep with windows open; here the upper sash was +pulled down level with the lower, and stayed so night and day; and +that window was at the foot of the bed. In wakeful hours I could watch +the stars shining through the branches of the trees, and trace the +shadow-patterns of the moon when it was her night out. Accustomed to +rise early, I rarely fail to note the first glimmer of the dawn, and +the first shaft of sunlight was levelled straight at my eyes, as by a +marksman ambushed behind the looking-glass. As the sun rose I used to +lie with eyes half shut to see the dazzle of rainbow colours that then +filled them--as likewise to see, involuntarily, how the room was swept +and dusted. There was a beautiful rosy-blossomed tree framed by that +open square--I forget its right name, the "Tree of Heaven" was that +given it by the vulgar tongue (I think it belongs to Queensland)--and +it was my almanac the year round. Every morning a little bud grew +bigger, a frond uncurled a little more; as the days passed the foliage +spread and thickened, the leaves yellowed, browned, and fluttered +away. And then the rain would drive in and make a mess on the +dressing-table. Or a wind blew down upon the bed, causing regrets for +the eider-down imprudently discarded overnight when we were full of +the warmth of the drawing-room fire. Or--wonderful and soul-stirring +experience--snow. + +On that morning of June 6th, 1887, I felt the peculiar snow-cold, +without knowing what it was, when I got out of bed to take in my early +cup of tea. I had finished it, and was enjoying a few peaceful minutes +before going to the bathroom, gazing upon the bare tree-twigs and +their background of leaden sky, when suddenly I perceived the picture +speckled with fine white particles, and understood that it was +snowing. In the twinkling of an eye I was into dressing-gown and +slippers, calling up the house to look at the sight. The governess was +an Englishwoman, who had not seen snow since leaving her Kentish +village, and never expected to see it in Australia. I went to her room +first, colliding with a maid who was rushing thither on the same +errand; then to the nursery, where I found three little night-gowned +figures already at the window, flattening three little noses against +the glass. The children were chattering and shouting with delight. The +fine white particles had become substantial flakes by this time, and +were dusting the roofs and bushes to an extent that promised snowballs +presently; and the two small boys were wild at the prospect of fights +in the street on their way to school. Australian boys of British +parentage take as naturally to snowballing as to plum-pudding; you +would think, to see them at it, that it was their regular winter +amusement. The bath tap flowed unheeded, until the water overflowed on +to the floor; the fowls invaded the sacred precincts of a +beautifully-kept kitchen, and walked about there unmolested; the cat +got on the table and drank the milk. It was washing-day, but no one +thought of that. The snowstorm was the one absorbing interest to +everybody, except the father of the family, who likes his bed and is +not in the habit of exciting himself. + +When the postman came it had been snowing--good solid snow--for more +than an hour, and as he tramped up the twelve white steps to the front +door his feet sank an inch and a half into the soft carpet that +covered them. Shrubs and trees, creepers and bushes were thick with +snow. Masses of the delicate foliage of the marguerite daisy and some +young pepper trees sent us into raptures with their beauty, for there +was no wind to shake them. So did some old fences smothered in green +creepers, the long sprays and trails of which were as neatly covered +as with hoar-frost. Each arching blade of pampas-grass bore heaped-up +ridges of snow, and the feathery heads looked as if they had been +dipped into cake-icing, as if nothing that was not sticky could have +adhered so thickly to such unsubstantial things. Every laurel leaf +held a sausage-roll of snow. The corrugated iron roofs were dazzlingly +white and smooth--two or three inches of snow in every groove. The +back-yard and orchard were a white plain, the latter diversified with +weeds and suckers that never looked so beautiful before, the naked +fruit-trees being loaded with the white powder on every branch and +twig. Beyond the outer fence on one side there was a mass of furze +bushes, covering a piece of waste land; all this was white, too, +stretching away to the grey sky. + +It was amusing to see the consternation of the fowls when they were +let out. They had never seen snow before, and did not know what to +make of it. They tried to walk through it, and they tried to eat it; +they flew from point to point and back again, craning their necks from +side to side, in search of the earth that had disappeared. They took +refuge in the kitchen under dressers and tables, and, when driven +thence, under the fowl-house walls, where they stood all day, each on +a single leg, with feathers puffed up, the picture of patient misery. +The cat had left her kittens in an outhouse before the snow began, and +afterwards proposed to return to them. She daintily sounded the snow +with her fore-paw, mewed piteously, and in the end went back to the +kitchen and left the kittens to their fate. But she was, for a dumb +animal, a singularly bad mother. The first time she had kittens she +overlaid and suffocated them, and the second batch she carried from a +warm bed in the middle of the night, and in a tempest of rain, while +they were yet blind and helpless, and deposited them beside an +overflowing water-tank, so that when they were found they were so +drowned and chilled that it took a whole day's nursing to bring them +round. + +This was the state of things at half-past eight. It snowed, without +stopping for a minute, until twelve, when the drift was six inches in +some places, and in others a foot. All the heads of pampas-grass were +broken off, borne down with the weight; and stout myrtle and box +bushes, which had taken the snow solidly, were trailing to the ground +with their stems splitting. We had one tree-fern that rose from the +centre of a rockery, and spread itself over it like a handsome +umbrella. It stood in front of the dining-room windows, and was an +object of constant interest to the family, which always knew when it +started a new frond and how it was getting on generally. At twelve +o'clock ferntree and rockery were one smooth white mound--the snow +covered the whole thing completely; not so much as a green tip the +size of a pin's head stuck out anywhere. Even the native gums had +managed to catch and accumulate the soft flakes, so that they looked +as if full of white blossoms; wattles were bent and loaded like the +pepper-trees, while the great pines would not have disgraced a +Canadian winter forest. Such a sight had not been seen in that town +since it was planted in the mountains in the old gold days. We +neglected all our work to gaze upon it. And then a little wind began +to blow through the white stillness, and there were signs that the +snow was going to turn to rain. Huge masses fell from roof eaves and +boughs, falling with a soft but heavy thud upon the garden beds and +paths, which had been so smooth and spotless. "Pure as untrodden +snow"--that is a good phrase. How dazzlingly pure it is! I know it is +silly to say these things to an English reader, but let him be an +exile for seventeen years, as I had been, and see how a snow-storm +will strike him then. It brought to my home-sick heart memories of the +old days of youth, before one realised that there was such a place as +Australia in the world; visions of flat fen marshes, all black, white, +and grey, like a photograph--of frozen meres fringed with pollard +willows, and dry reed-beds rattling in the wind--of old snowballings, +old skatings, old walks with old sweethearts on the ringing roads, old +talks by the winter firesides ... things unspeakable. + +By half-past twelve the rain had come, the snow was going. It was +already slushy about the doors, semi-transparent under eaves and +branches. More and bigger lumps of it slid and fell, revealing the +broken limbs of the trees that had seemed so strong, but were not +strong enough for the weight they had had to bear. The boys had come +home with rosy faces and exulting mien, their collars limp as rags, +their boots and stockings saturated, their coats plastered with +melting snow. They had had as good a snowballing as England could have +given them--one they will not forget as long as they live. + +But the common winter day up there was, in fine weather, a thing +beyond words. The nipping and eager temperature, the iced pools and +frosted grass in the shadows, the dazzling sun in the open, the +diamond glitter and transparency of the air through which one viewed +the sapphire-blue ranges miles away, the ringing granite roads, that +knew neither mud nor dust, the exhilaration, the invigoration, the +pure joy of life.... + +And I left this sweet place hard-heartedly, without a pang. So did G. +His dignity of Rural Dean was laid aside with no more regret than I +felt for the old frocks that I gave away because they were not worth +packing. We were Bush folks no more. He was going to be "town clergy," +and no unimportant member of that much-envied band; and I was going to +live with books and other stirring things--the "larger life," which +somehow never proves quite deserving of its name. And we were going +nearer to England than we had yet been. The day after I knew "all +satisfactorily settled," I began sorting, clearing up, dismantling--a +job I love only a few degrees less than the rebuilding of a new home +out of chaos. "The nuisance of moving!" is a lamentation one hears +often from those who have to do it; nobody ever heard it from me. It +puzzles me how any housewife, interested in having her things nice, +can fail to enjoy such an opportunity for putting new ideas in +practice. I have thoroughly enjoyed it eight times, and should like +nothing better than to move again to-morrow, provided it were to the +right place--the place that I am so long getting to that I almost +despair of seeing it again. + +We were moving now too far to take all the furniture with us; in bulk +it was not valuable enough to be worth the heavy railway charges. So I +packed the special treasures and all else that I could, and, leaving +G. to struggle with the sale and the final farewells, preceded him to +Melbourne, that I might lay the foundations of the new home before he +came to it. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +THE EIGHTH HOME + + +The eighth home was quite an imposing house--for us--too much so for +my taste and the resources of the moment, insomuch that I had to leave +the furnishing of the drawing-room to a future day; but what an +interesting time I had, with my paper-hangers and people! In a few +days I had the walls--raw plaster and grubby at that--decorated and +dry, and the floor-staining done, and the elementary necessaries of +family life collected; so that when I, and the little daughter who had +been with me, met our male belongings at Spencer Street Station on the +30th of October, we went home together for good and all. G. took over +his parish on the 1st of November, and we were then settled down, +although the delights of "fixing up" went on for weeks--I may say for +years--if it has not continued even to this day. A week or two after +the induction ceremonies the parish made a splendid evening party for +us in the largest public room of the town. A great horse-shoe of +flowers with "WELCOME" on it--the iron frame is still preserved in the +gas cupboard--was presented with charming compliments: members of +Parliament and mayors and other distinguished persons flattered us in +cordial speeches from the platform; professional singers--Ada +Crossley amongst them--rendered a choice programme. It was a proud +occasion, a happy beginning of the new life--the first rush of the +champagne out of the freshly-opened bottle--sweet to remember, but sad +also, because, like all such sanguine moments, it both gave and asked +too much. + +And now here I was living by the sea at last--the desire of my heart +from childhood. There is a family tradition that when, as a mere +infant on its mother's lap, I saw the sea for the first time--at +Hunstanton it was--I was so overcome with sentimental emotion that I +burst into tears. I can quite believe it. I do not remember ever to +have seen it, after absence, without feeling more or less that way, +whether I expressed the feeling or not. "Hunst'on" in those times was +only the old village of the L'Estranges; where the watering-place +proper was afterwards established there stood but a lonely inn on the +cliff--the New Inn, it was called, though it looked far from +new--where brides and bridegrooms went to get out of the world. We +used to have lodgings at the Coastguards' (parents and children, nurse +and governess, distributed amongst them at sleeping-time, with a +common rendezvous for meals), or at "Willoughby's," within a cobbled +courtyard with gates that shut at night, or at the Post Office, which +sold the wooden spades and pails that were always our first purchase, +or--when we could get it--a whole house of our own, bespoken for the +season from the year before. The same families, more or less, occupied +the limited accommodation of the place summer after summer, and it was +necessary to be beforehand to secure a footing. There was one year +when we were absolutely crowded out--a black year indeed! I see myself +now, face downwards in the orchard grass, broken-hearted by the +calamity. In those days we made the journey from Lynn on a stage +coach--the last one left in England, I should imagine--and the red +mass of Rising Castle was the memorably romantic feature of that +drive, next to the first opening to view at the end of it of the +ever-wonderful and mystic sea. We used to arrive late in the afternoon +and first open one of the enormous hampers and feed like a pack of +cormorants: then we little girls were fitted out in our +sea-clothes--all made on purpose, from the cotton hoods to the +raw-leather shoes--and the boys put on their fishermen's guernseys, +and down we went to revel in sand and rocks and sea-water until the +latest possible bed-time. Old Sam Dunn, the only waterman and one of +my dearest early friends, would already have been up to our lodgings +to welcome us, to take over the boys as partners for the summer in his +boat and enterprises, and to bring his votive offering of cornelian +stones and bits of jet and things to his "little missy." What days! +What days! When my own children were small I went to no end of trouble +and expense to give them the bliss that had made life so heavenly to +me at their age. I took them to the seaside; I bought them wooden +spades and pails; I would have got them a donkey (like Callaby's) if +there had been such a thing procurable. In vain. It was like trying to +teach them to understand Christmas. The sea is not in the blood of +Australian children as it was in ours. + +During all my inland life at home and twenty-three years in the +Australian bush, however happy I may have been, there was always that +one thing wanting--the near neighbourhood, the salt breath of the sea. +I used, when in the Western District, to spend hours sitting amongst +she-oak trees in a wind, because, with the eyes shut, one could +believe that there one listened to its very voice. Twice, when ill in +bed, I found the craving overmastering. "I know that, if I could get +to the sea, I should get well," I cried at a time when I was unable to +take myself thither and G. said he was too busy to take me. "Not for +one day?" I implored. "What's the use of wearing yourself out with +those two long journeys, and spending five or six pounds, for one +day?" he asked. It did seem unreasonable, but I begged and bribed him +to give me my wish. We left B---- one afternoon, reaching Melbourne +late at night; next morning took boat for Sorrento and the open +Pacific; saturated ourselves with sea-essences until night again, and +returned home next day. The result was so miraculous that, under the +same circumstances, we repeated the experiment three months later: +only then we took four days instead of one. I do now go back to the +hills for strength, as I said in the last chapter, but quite as often +exchange the sea for more sea. + +For where I live I am still forty or fifty miles from the shore +whereon the ocean rollers break. To be sure I can hear the sound of +waves on our Back Beach--one may occasionally be knocked over by them +in the Baths--but, looking across the water that runs sheer to the +sky, I am conscious of the engirdling land that I cannot see; it is +not the great deep that the great storms play with. Even upon this the +house turns its back; my windows command only Hobson's Bay--just a +pond with city round it--the mouth of the river piercing the ring to +my left, the mouth of escape to the sea and the world on my right, +round the breakwater pier and sea-wall that the convicts built. Well, +I am satisfied with that. I have a moving panorama before my eyes that +they never tire of dwelling on. I had amongst my wedding presents a +pair of good field-glasses that lay stowed away and forgotten in +drawer or cupboard until I came here; now they hang by my writing +window, and the case is worn out with the daily handling they get. +Every ship that comes in view passes me by, the multifarious craft +going to or from the river wharves, the great liners that tie up at +Port Melbourne opposite--these last the objects that fascinate me +most. A kind superintendent of the P. and O. Melbourne office sent me, +when I first arrived, a packet containing a separate letter of +introduction to every purser of every ship of theirs visiting the +port, instructing each gentleman to give me "all possible facilities" +to "fully inspect" his vessel. It was my favourite recreation for a +long time to rummage through these floating hotels, and pretend to +myself that I was a potential traveller in them; and then I came home +to watch them steam away without me, as I have watched them week by +week ever since. It is a melancholy pleasure that never palls. But I +have four of those letters to P. and O. pursers unexpended still. + +Close about me lie piers, ships, boat-slips, collections of anchors, +buoys, boilers, the old bones of dead vessels once so bravely +alive--more alive, as I think, than anything else that hand of man has +made; everything that meets the eye suggests the sea in some form. +"The fishing village" is a newspaper term for the place, and when I +was coming to live in it every other letter that I received condoled +with me on my being obliged to do so. It is not a village; it is not +more fishy than other towns along the shore; and I have never pitied +myself for belonging to it. The fact that it is not a watering-place, +with an esplanade and summer boarders, pleases me. It could easily +have rivalled the "residential suburbs" across the way, which are +cooled by the sea-breezes on one side only and not on three; but far +be it from me to put such an idea into its head. Let it jog along in +its unfashionable, unenterprising, unbusiness-like way while I am of +it, and begin its hustling--as it will do sooner or later, if the +powers that be allow our limbs to move again--when I am gone. It is a +treat to find something that does not know how to advertise itself, +nor want to know. + +In this humdrum place, that is so cool and quiet, and to me so +congenial, there is but one interesting walk. That is to say, but one +that I consider worth giving an afternoon to. G. says he gets tired of +it; I do not; and I am sure that Bob, the fox terrier, spends the week +looking forward to it. The three of us ramble off together on +Saturdays after lunch, weather and other circumstances permitting, and +our faces turn the one way automatically. + +We go "along the front"--_i.e._, the one-sided street that fronts +Hobson's Bay--until the little marine stores and cook-shops and +sailors' pubs lose themselves in a wilderness of docks and railway +yards and buildings, lonely and grass-grown since the river and the +port opposite took so much of our shipping from us, though there was a +partial return to some of the activities of former days while the war +was going on. Seldom a Saturday then that we did not find ourselves +blocked by rows of trucks shunting back and forth across our short +cuts, carrying hay or horses to the steamers whose clacking windlasses +we heard from the neighbouring piers. + +First we come to the yard within which lies the Graving Dock--once so +wonderful, now so inadequate, but seldom empty and always interesting, +no matter how insignificant the vessel on the chocks. Those +weather-worn tramps that fight the unseen Powers at a disadvantage in +everything, except courage and seamanship, are the ones I like to look +at best. Sometimes we are asked on board, and a rough old salt, hero +of untold brave deeds, shows us round and gives us tea, and feels +himself honoured by the visit of persons not worthy to brush his +shoes. These casual entertainments are my delight. Sometimes the +captain's wife is _cicerone_ and hostess. There was a whole family in +one case, including a melancholy and discontented girl, who had a +piano to practise on, and whose sad lot I was not too sea-crazy to +understand. I sent her a bundle of old novels to vary the monotony, +which was perhaps a cruel kindness. + +Now and then tragedy comes upon the scene. A wreck is dragged in to be +operated on. Some poor ship that has had a fire at sea, or her nose +smashed or her side ripped open in a collision, or who has drifted for +weeks with her propeller gone, lies naked before us with her wounds +exposed; and then I stand and gaze and imagine things until G. gets +cross because I cannot drag myself away. When the _Ormuz_ had that +accident in the Rip she so tightly filled the dock that her skeleton +bow was almost within my touch. No more do I wonder at what ships can +go through, having seen how that giant frame was put together. I went +down to the bottom of the dock and held up the great hull in the palms +of my hands. It was a strange sensation. + +From the dock we pass by devious ways from yard to yard and pier to +pier, descending and climbing, turning narrow corners, poking +walking-stick or umbrella into the tufts of coarse grass and +scrap-heaps of rusted iron or sea-rotted timber where Bob has his +exciting hunts for the rats he smells but never catches. "No +admittance except on business" is a legend with no meaning for us. If +it rains, or the sun is over-hot, we retire to a dark and spacious +shed where rows of gas buoys await their turn to shine beneficent in +the stormy nights. Impressive creatures they are when viewed so near. +Now and again we are shown torpedoes and compressed-air engines and +such things, but as a rule we are not sight-seeing in a business way +and do not desire company. + +So we drift to the outermost pier of all--the Breakwater, half of +which is stone rampart between Hobson's Bay and Port Phillip Bay, +which stands to us for open sea. We sit as long as Bob's patience +holds out on the bulkhead at the extreme end, and watch the ships go +past us--so near sometimes that we could toss a biscuit on to a deck. +They are intercolonial steamers that have started from a Melbourne +wharf or are bound thither; the great liners, of which few are visible +at this end of the week, take a more distant track. In the yachting +season the blue water is sprinkled with white sails; we follow the +manoeuvres of the boats we know, and wait to see the winner come home, +if she is not too long about it. Several times I have been aboard one +of those racing cutters in a "sailing wind," and--I refrain from +rhapsodising on the subject. + +If the afternoon is still young we stroll on around the point, along +that sea-wall which was built by convict labour--significant words, +recalling days we do not care to think of. The wall is broken down in +places, and stays so; this is the "old part" as the old times left +it--some day to be repaired and used, but gently going to pieces in +the meantime. All around us here we feel the spirit of those old +times, so stern and sad. Close by is the spot where Commandant Price +was murdered. It was before my time, but I have heard the tale of his +life and death from friends and relatives, co-officials and +eye-witnesses, authorities whom the author of _His Natural Life_ never +had opportunity to consult. They say--of course I can only take their +word--that he was a brave and just, if undoubtedly hard, man, and that +Frere in _His Natural Life_, supposed to be a portrait of him, is a +cruel caricature. One of his official colleagues, who was also one of +the kindest and most high-minded of men, solemnly assured me that what +he did was "what he had to do" and represented to him his duty. + +And just here, until a short time ago, lay the strangest little +graveyard that I ever knew. Its enclosing walls had fallen into +rubbish-heaps amongst the grass, which looked too thick and rank to +safely walk in except when summer heats had dried it up; then we would +prowl gingerly amid the forgotten graves--forty years old and +upwards--and read the touching legends on the dilapidated headstones, +which showed, amongst other things, that John Price was not the only +one done to death "in the execution of his duty." Here lay a whole +little world of people as utterly of the past as if they had lived +centuries ago. Periodically someone protested in the local papers +against the disgraceful condition of this lone bit of land, and at +last the town decided to transfer its contents to the present +cemetery. In a corner of that pretty garden they dug one big grave to +accommodate the remains of what they calculated would be between two +and three hundred bodies. The number found was nearly a thousand. I +saw them stacked in little boxes, like a grocer's stock of tea or +candles, half in the new grave, half piled on the brink. Several +pathetic secrets that Mother Earth might well have kept to herself +were dragged to light, and I am sure it must have been impossible to +avoid mixing the fragments up. The new grave now looks very neat, +slabbed all over; and the old burial-ground is ready to build on +whenever good times arrive. But when we walk past the spot we miss +something. We feel that we liked it best as it was. + +Usually we do not go beyond this point. We scramble out to the +furthest tenable boulder, and sit with our faces to the water, and +watch the practice of the big gun of the fort close by, firing at a +buoyed flag; and tease crabs, and lay plans for going Home some day, +until it is time to return. But we can go on along the shore until we +all but complete the circuit of the town, which is really a good walk +for cold weather. + +The sea makes in a sense the foreground of any picture I can draw of +my eight to nine years of Melbourne life, but there was more than the +sea to render the change to Melbourne instantly beneficial to us. That +was a luxury, an adornment, of our new life; a solid advantage to me +personally, since its air and influence improved my health, but not +otherwise to be so designated. The first substantial profit that we +reaped was in our nearness to the best schools. + +It is for his children that the poor Bush parson feels his isolation, +more than for himself. In Victoria he is never placed where he cannot +give them an education of a kind--at the private schools of his +township or the State School in the last resort--but the cost of the +better one that he must desire for them, to fit them for professions +and a good place in the world, is mostly beyond his means. The custom +of the great schools is to charge half fees to clergymen--I do not +know why, any more than I can see the justice of the doctors charging +them no fees at all, as the majority of them will not, unless you +force them to it--but even upon those easy terms I know from +experience that you cannot keep a son at a public school, giving him +all the advantages of it, for much under L100 a year. Lay mothers have +told me that in their case L150 was not too much to set aside for the +purpose to cover all expenses. The Public School means possible +scholarships, not only for the school years but for the University +afterwards; and it is hard to have a bright boy and see him blocked at +the outset from this shining path along which alone he can directly +attain distinction. I know one poor country clergyman who, with his +wife and daughters, lived servantless and on next to nothing to give +the only son his chance. Half their little income must have gone to +pay for it, and the boy was still a poor boy at school, in dress, +pursuits, pocket-money, friends, at a disadvantage amongst his +fellows. It is pleasant to record that he proved superior to these +petty circumstances and worthy of the sacrifices that were made for +him. But he is only a bank clerk now, because, not having a home near +the University, it was impossible for him to go there. Another +clergyman's son of my acquaintance, who had this convenient base, did +his course as an "out-patient," while earning his fees at other work. +He is now a "don" himself. + +So, with sons of our own, we soon had occasion to congratulate +ourselves--in the case of one, at anyrate. The boy who had been +pursuing a costly education more than two hundred miles from home was +now within easy reach of it; I could visit him by water for +half-a-crown. And of course I did so the very first thing, fetching +him back with me to make the house-warming complete. It was then +represented to him that the greater part of the expenses incurred on +his behalf might be saved by the simple expedient of transferring +himself from the "Geelong Grammar" to the sister, if rival, "Melbourne +Grammar," which he could attend as a day boy. His answer was--for he +had been over four years at Geelong, and his boat had been Head of the +River most of the time, and it was his school--"I would sooner kill +myself." We quite understood. It was perceived that in his case +economy might be practised at too great a cost, and we refrained from +further argument. The younger brother jumped at the privilege thus +scorned, and turned it to such account that in the following month we +were relieved of all pecuniary liability in respect of his education +for three years to come. In the result there were certain little +embarrassments which took time to wear off. States of tension occurred +in the vacations, and an occasional approach to civil war, all on +account of the merits and demerits of the respective corporations to +which they belonged, and I narrowly escaped witnessing a Public +School's Boat Race in which I must inevitably have seen a son +defeated. I used to wear at these functions, at one time, a +breast-knot of light-blue and dark-blue ribbons, mixed in exactly +equal proportions. + +I think the Boat Races and Speech Days have furnished the keenest +joys of my Melbourne life. At B---- there was racking suspense before +the postmaster's son came tumbling down the garden steps to the +dining-room window, waving the telegram and shouting--in defiance of +the regulations--"He's won!" And now, without the wicked waste of +money that I had once been guilty of to obtain the privilege, I could +follow the race on the umpire's boat, and drop proud hints to other +mothers that it was my son who--etc. As for the Speech Days, modesty +forbids me to say more than that I would not have missed them for the +world. But apart from these strictly personal enjoyments, many and +many, long unknown, now came to me. + +"Mullens," to start with--everyone who knows Melbourne at all knows +that delightful haunt of the book-lover--and all the new books I could +want, and more; and never the lack of a new magazine to entice me to +bed early. Any night of the week--the day's work done, even to the +last toilet, and a reading-lamp shining softly down upon the page +before me--I can realise my idea of luxury. Old books too--the +Literatures of the Past and of the World (of which I had scarcely +heard in youth before I was cut off from access to them)--these I +could batten on, and at no cost at all. The great Free Library--the +greatest, to my mind, of all Melbourne's civic institutions--was but +an hour's distance from me. It is rather the resort of the street +loafer, looking for a place to rest and doze in, than of the +student--other than press hacks and such like, who go there with the +business note-book and pencil; one never sees--at least, I have never +seen--any of those gentlefolk who throng Mullens's daily; it seems to +lie off the track somehow. I, like the rest, forget to go often when +I might go, but when I do think of it I am amazed at my neglect. A +lending library is included in the many privileges conferred upon +those who pay nothing, and there come from it into the family circle +weighty as well as up-to-date works not otherwise in library +circulation, and beyond the resources of the family purse and the +family bookshelves. For one reason why we do not buy books much more +largely than we do, is the want of settled homes for them. To a people +so wandering and restless, books in quantities become physically +burdensome; they take up too much room in a temporary house, and are +too costly as travelling furniture. By the way, I have not found that +rich people, with whom these considerations need not count, care to +accumulate them. + +Gathered under the same roof as this treasure of books are fine, +although relatively less fine, collections of objects representing the +arts of the world; and the picture galleries, with their medley of +good and bad, can charm a loafing hour at any time. Pictures, however, +unlike books, are amongst the things that are still too scarce. In +girlhood I used to haunt their homes in London, when periodically +visiting a spinster aunt who allowed me no more frivolous +entertainment; and it is the memory of those old feasts that keeps me +dissatisfied with the crumbs that have been cast up here. But the +crumbs are adequate to the general demand for them. Art, like Letters, +is still an exotic in the land. In the furnishing of ninety-nine out +of every hundred of the fine mansions that surround the capital, +pictures--real pictures--have, I have been told by those who know, +been the last thing thought of. Yet I have seen two private +collections--one loaned to an exhibition and one in the house it +belonged to--which would be hard to match for beauty and choiceness. +And there may be more. + +But I believe there are already guide-books to the city of Melbourne, +with all its British institutions common to every British city of any +consequence precisely catalogued. And I have lived too retired a life +as a Melbourne citizen to be qualified to enter into competition with +them. I do not know the faces of the City fathers when I see them, and +am unacquainted with much else that is common knowledge to any man in +the street. On the other hand I have strayed into some of the by-ways, +the underground tunnels, of our local civilisation, where the local +historian would feel off his beat. + +For some years, while in town on business or holiday from the country +(and parish), I was much with a dear friend who, while living far +above it in what we call the best society, shared my passion for +unconventional excursions into what answers here to Gissing's +Nether-World. We did not go "slumming" or anything of that sort--we +would have been the last to commit such impertinences--but we wanted +to see deeper into the workings of the mysterious problems of social +life which so much and equally concerned us. In memory of her and +those days of lofty thought and helpful companionship I keep on a +shelf apart the books she gave me--Mill, Morley, Thoreau, and the +like--that we read together under the trees of her beautiful garden or +by a secluded fireside, and which inspired us to the search for that +ideal truth which we could not admit was inaccessible. Our husbands +were both indulgent to our aberrations from the beaten path. In G.'s +case, I must confess, I traded a little upon the fact that what the +eye does not see the heart does not grieve for; I thought it just as +well that a parson--and one so far away--should not know everything; I +took the view that I was at large for the time being, and to that he +never made objection. Of course, I respected the altered circumstances +when we came to live in town together, and have known nothing of alien +"persuasions" and their goings on of a Sunday since. + +But it was just these irregular operations in the moral world that we +desired to investigate, my friend and I: our outlook over it was not +bounded by the walls of the Church of England or of our class. Drawn +as we felt ourselves to be towards our fellow-strugglers after light +and knowledge, we wanted to know what they were doing in furtherance +of the common aim. The phenomena of spiritual life, in whatever form, +attracted us; the more curious and unconvincing to us personally, the +more earnestly to be searched into and understood, if possible. The +Salvation Army was a case in point. Why was it such a power in the +land? Eclectic as we were, we could find but one theory to account for +it--which I still think a good one, _i.e._, that men and women share +equally and intimately in the whole work from top to bottom--but this +did not cover all the ground. It did not adequately explain the number +and fervour of its non-official adherents, and their long continuance +in faith. According to appearances, it is all force and artificial +emotionalism, the "unhealthy excitement" against which I have heard so +many good clergymen earnestly warn their flocks; yet time falsifies +the prediction I remember they made from the pulpit at least eighteen +years ago, that it was a passing craze, a grotesque epidemic, that +would quickly die. + +My friend and I--our minds burdened with, our thoughts and +conversation full of, the (to us) injustices of human arrangements, +and our responsibilities towards the (to us) enslaved and +wronged--wondered how much real amelioration of the lot of the more +miserable was wrought by this particular agency. We knew that, as we +sat, like Buddha in his palace, within our social shelters, we could +know little about it; we resolved to go outside and see. It was Sunday +morning, and we said we would go to a Salvation Army meeting, at the +Head-Quarter Barracks, that night. My friend's husband, who would have +liked to keep her (she was so precious) in a glass case, yet could not +bear to balk her wish if it was anywhere within the bounds of reason, +asked leave to take us into the city and to the door of the +tabernacle, and to wait for us until we came out; but we agreed that +that would spoil it all. For what we wanted to feel was that we were +one with our poorer fellow-wayfarers on this pilgrimage of life, afoot +and equal, not carrying any of our unfair privileges into their +rougher line of march. Her correct English maid, who must have had her +thoughts, though she did not express them, produced a plain waterproof +and a gossamer veil, in which my companion could hide her native +elegance from a curiosity that we did not wish to court--I easily made +myself inconspicuous--and we set forth, escorted only as far as the +railway station of our exclusive suburb. + +When we got into the Sunday-night city streets we were a happy pair. +Manners in Australia do not deteriorate as the social scale descends; +we were jostled on the crowded pavements, but not rudely; in fact, the +sensation was grateful to us. We were literally in touch with our +kind, free of artificial restrictions, and "seeing life" as we had +desired to see it. The crowds were later, however; going in we were +before them, thinking it wise to be early since we had to find our +way. The large building was filling fast when we arrived, but we +secured what we thought safe seats--near the door, and with a pillar +or something buttressing our backs--and from this point studied the +scene and the proceedings with rapt attention. I should think no +Salvation Army meeting ever included two persons at once so devout and +so hopelessly impervious. But, though impervious, we were deeply +impressed. The only thing that offended us--unless I except a hectic +and hysterical preaching girl, whose health we saw being destroyed +before our eyes--was the conduct of a group of lads who had evidently +come for the fun of the thing. They sat just within the door, and +ought to have been put outside it; yet their ill manners were +compensated for by the patient courtesy of the officer who from time +to time came to expostulate with them. For myself, I could willingly +have boxed their ears. I remembered this incident when afterwards I +had a Salvation Army servant and it was reported to me that my own +mischievous boys had gone to the little conventicle of her sect to +hear her preach. She was a quiet-mannered, sedate sort of person, and +never gave us Salvation Army in the house, except in the form of a +modest brooch; but on Saturday evenings--the Australian servants' free +time--she stole off in her hallelujah bonnet, and, I was told, carried +a torch or a banner in the procession that patrolled the town, and +sang and prayed with the best of them. We never minded these little +things, holding the view that a good servant was a good servant, and +that her religion was her own business. One of the best we ever had +was a Roman Catholic of the strictest type. I believe that girl never +omitted an observance required of such an one; yet she never allowed +us to be inconvenienced on that account. She would do her washing, or +whatever it was, in the middle of the night to go to a morning +service; on Sundays she would come out from her devotions at her +church, which was not a stone's throw from ours, to put on the +potatoes, and trot back again. Between our kitchen and that of the +Presbytery the most neighbourly relations existed during her reign. +They borrowed of each other without any false pride, and many a time, +at my secret instigation, B. went over to assist when the priest was +having company, sometimes carrying extra silver and such like from my +store. I was always desperately afraid of his hearing of these +liberties that a black heretic was taking with him--and he a dean, if +you please; mentally putting myself in his place, I knew how I should +feel, and I was always exhorting B., who was garrulous, to guard +against this risk.--One Christmas I heard that he was to have a party +of priests to dinner, and that his cook was quite incapable of rising +to such an occasion. "I'd like to send over one of our puddings," said +I, "only that I'd be so afraid he might ask who made it"--for our +puddings, I may modestly state, were good. B. jumped at the tentative +offer, and the pudding, with a few etceteras from the same source, +duly graced the dean's table. Our Christmas feast took place in the +middle of the day, his in the evening, so she could attend to both. +When she returned at night from the second function she was radiant. +The table, she said, was something beautiful, and they ate up all the +pudding, and praised it to the skies. "I do hope to goodness you never +breathed a word," said I, "and that that cook will keep the secret." +Alas! it transpired that B. herself had been unable to keep it. "But," +said she, "you needn't worry yourself at all, for he was quite pleased +about it, and says he is coming himself to thank you for your +kindness." + +That was a good old man, and the most liberal-minded ecclesiastic of +his faith that I ever came across. B. being so strict a daughter of +her Church, and living in a place where its influence was strong--for +the matter of that, it is strong everywhere in Australia--she used to +have qualms of conscience now and again, after the nuns had been +talking to her, as to the lawfulness of dwelling under a Protestant +roof. She went to the dean for advice, and he gave it promptly. "Don't +you be a little fool"--his very words, she told me. "You get more +Catholic privileges where you are than you'd get in many a Catholic +house. You stay where you are well off." Under these circumstances she +was delighted to stay. But some time afterwards, when under more rigid +discipline, she was inveigled from us--the only one of our good +servants who went, even to that extent from choice, except to be +married. But she still maintains intimate relations with the family, +and brings each little Pat and Biddy to show us as soon as it is old +enough to take the air. + +But to return to the Salvation Army. Personally, as I have said, we +were cold to its appeals, but seldom had our hearts been so warmed by +the reflected feeling around us. It was perfectly apparent to us that +we were in contact with things as sincere and real as they could be. +Even the hectic girl preacher, who almost frothed at the mouth, was in +earnest, whatever the old hands amongst her colleagues, who sat about +her and watched her, might have been. The music--their best--with its +swing and precision, was splendid, incalculably effective as a +stimulant; I could have thrilled to that if I had not heard so much of +the excruciating performances of the humbler rank and file. But it was +the congregation which so impressed us. Going to church all my +life--much against the grain sometimes, I must confess--I had never +seen anything like it; so many men in proportion to women, such +intensity of religious feeling as distinct from superficial ardour and +rant. The service was very long, and we grew anxious as the hours +passed, knowing how our husband and host would worry about us if we +missed the train he had fixed on for our return, and we had carefully +left our watches at home. So I leaned towards my next neighbour on the +left, a respectable and very quiet and silent young working-man--just +as I would have done in any other church--and whispered to him, "Would +you kindly tell me the time?" As soon as the words were out of my +mouth I was smitten with compunction, and felt more ashamed of myself +than I had ever done in my life. Wild prayers were going on, and the +young man was on his knees, and his uplifted face wore a stern +solemnity that showed him miles and miles above all such +considerations as the time of day. At first he took no notice, as if +he had not heard me; then he slowly climbed down and down from his +heights and looked at me with a blank, dazed stare; and his eyes were +full of tears. I shall never forget him, and all that he taught me in +that moment. We went home thoughtful, humbled in our intellectual +conceit, deeply touched and moved; certainly all the better for our +excursion into this by-path of national life, although we never felt +drawn to go into it again. + +On another Sunday evening we attended some sort of Free Thought +service in one of the theatres. Here the "minister," if not a +charlatan, was something of a fraud--to us, at anyrate, who had made a +deeper study of the questions dealt with than he had. But in this case +again the congregation, which filled the building, was the instructive +and surprising feature. Not only perfectly respectable and orderly, +but grave and attentive, and the majority well-dressed middle-class +people, husbands and wives together, dropping into their seats with +the air of habitual attendants. The proverbial pin might have been +heard while the pseudo-teacher poured forth words and phrases that had +no intelligible meaning in them; every eye was fixed on him, every ear +listening. We were much exercised in mind over the results of this +experiment. The size, seriousness, and social quality of the +congregation were our chief concern. Evidently seekers after light and +knowledge, like the rest of us--no mere heathen idlers wilfully or +carelessly breaking the Sabbath day. "And," sighed we, "getting only +this rubbish for their pains!" + +Then there was a place called, I think, the Progressive Lyceum--a +small body this, but, once in it, you found it a little world to +itself. I went there one Sunday, and again felt how little the +classified majority of us knew what the mixed minority was about. I +was with two other inquiring friends this time, and we were invited to +stay to a sort of little conference that was to conclude the morning +exercises. Well, before we knew it, we were joining in the +discussion--carried on without a trace of theological rancour--with +half-a-dozen or so of the leading members sitting in a group in a +corner of the otherwise emptied room, all as friendly as could be. +Other little worlds within worlds, colonies within the colony, I have +wandered into from time to time, never without gaining fresh +conviction of the interestingness of my fellow-creatures and of their +inherent goodness--more trust in and respect for that poor human +nature which, fumbling along its confused and crooked paths, yet ever +seems to be aiming at the true goal. More than that--as one can see by +taking the general bearings at intervals--it is getting there by +degrees. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + +CONCLUSION + + +The thirty years covered by this chronicle came to an end with the +nineteenth century and the history of these colonies as such. + +On the last day of 1900 I sat at my writing window to watch the drop +of the time-ball that regulates all the Government clocks--the clocks +which the morning papers had warned us to set our time-pieces by at 1 +P.M., so as not to be a second out, if we could help it, when the +midnight hour should strike. I cannot describe the state of tension we +were in, the sense of fateful happenings that possessed us that day. +The New Year and the New Century were coming to all peoples, but we +could not think of them save as satellites of our New Commonwealth, +arranged for the purpose of fitly inaugurating the New Nation. +Australia believed herself on the threshold of the Golden Age. I +myself openly boasted of my happiness--reviewing my peaceful family +life, my little home circle, unbroken since 1876--when we began +wishing happy new years to one another. + +The same scene lies before me now. Hobson's Bay in the +foreground--never professing to be picturesque, but to me as full of +variety and charm as a good, homely human face--and the long line of +city dividing it from the sky. In the sunset of a fine day--sunset +taking place behind me--that thread of crowded life is glowing +beautifully, isolated buildings, as they catch the direct gleam, +standing out as distinctly as if they were not leagues away. And after +dark it will shine a thick-set band of lights many miles in length. +And then, later, a clear moon will flood the whole. All as it was +twenty months and more ago, when our hearts were so confident and our +hopes so high. + +But Fate has dealt with our hearts and hopes in the usual way. The +closing of this book synchronises with the ending of one of those +lives integrally a part of mine--that of my eldest son, in the prime +of his fine young manhood--which for me has altered the whole face of +the world and of the future, but yesterday so smiling for us both. I +took no account of the Ambushed Enemy when I said on that New Year's +night that I was happy. + +And as for the country that went mad with joy on the same occasion, +how does it feel now? Where is the enthusiasm for Federation which +then turned every head? + +Federation, so far as we can see, has put back the Golden Age. The +triumphant shout, "Advance, Australia!" has become a mockery in our +ears. "Australia for the Australians!"--that ignoble aspiration, which +even then meant "Australia for the Australians now in it"--less than +two to the square mile--now means that Australia is not even for them. +No, for the census returns of this state for 1891 gave us 446,195 young +persons of what census people call the marrying age (15 to 35), of whom +the excess of young men over young women was 17,047; and the census for +1901 shows 419,910, and the excess on the other side--16,742 more +young women than young men. Where are those lost young men? And why +have they gone from one of the gardens of the world, as Victoria should +be, with its temperate climate and its consequent potential fertility? +Most of them have gone since the new century came in, and the other +states have to mourn similar losses within the same short space of +time. There have been no gains. Immigration, even of the most desirable +"White Australia" brand, is discouraged in all possible ways, in the +supposed interests of the beneficiaries in possession--reapers of the +sowings of far different men--with their "work" and "wages" which no +longer correspond to the old meanings of those words. While as for our +coloured brothers--including Britain's ally, Japan--they are not +recognised as men at all. They are vermin, to be stamped out like +rabbits. + +One third of Australia lies within the tropic belt, where manual +labour is incompatible with the white man's physique, and where no +industry could afford him, at the price he puts upon himself. What +matter? Let the Queensland sugar fields, and the seven millions sunk +in them, revert to the desert waste they were before. Let the pearling +industry go to foreigners, as it must go. Let the Northern Territory, +an area equal to that of France, Germany, and Austria combined, with +all its known potential wealth, lie waste and empty, while millions +upon millions of our co-inheritors of the earth swarm upon little bits +of land that do not give them room to turn round. What does it care, +this dog in the manger? It will starve itself--it is starving +itself--to keep the world out, to shut off competition with existing +interests, to nip back growth at every point. Oh, that we had a +Washington to lead our young nation in more righteous paths, to nobler +ends! Had "Australia for the World" been the watchword of the +Commonwealth, we might now be making a second great United States such +as only the glorious First could rival. Instead of that a stationary +population of less than four millions, from which the best elements +are being rapidly drained away. + +For these four millions we have fourteen Houses of Parliament, with +over fifty ministers and little under a thousand members. They are +housed magnificently--in this State, at anyrate--regardless of +expense; they have billiard-rooms, and bowling and tennis grounds, and +every club luxury, the "keep" of the Victorian establishment alone +(the parliamentary bill for the year) running to L141,549. Each pair +of State Houses can pledge the credit of its section of the country as +it likes (what our public debt amounts to everybody knows); the +Federal Houses can pledge the credit of the whole. And what is there +to control them? "The State servants," says the _Argus_, "already +constitute almost a clear majority of the names on the electors' +rolls." Government "promises soon to become the sole employer of +labour in the community." The octopus of political rule holds the +private citizen--"pursued with regulations and prohibitions in his +uprising and his down-sitting," so that "there will soon be absolutely +no room left" for him--helpless in its grasp. + +And who are they that work this Juggernaut of an engine, that run this +overgrown business of state? To quote again the authority +above-mentioned, not seldom "men who, in private life, would hardly +be trusted to run an apple stall." + +There was a _Times_ correspondent with the royal party that recently +visited us, and he published his impression that "political +corruption" was amongst our little failings that he had noticed. That +was an observant man, worthy of his post. Here nobody had an idea of +such a thing, and the outcry that ensued upon the cabled report of his +report, the indignant protest of injured innocence, was almost +unanimous throughout the land. Every newspaper repudiated the foul +aspersion, and in good faith--because, as a fact, the parliamentary +candidate does not bribe and corrupt within the meaning of the act as +traditionally understood; he does not buy the individual's vote with +coin from his pocket or a pot of beer. But what he does--which +probably never strikes him as political corruption, although +recognised as that by the _Times_ correspondent--is to buy _en bloc_ +the party which gives him his comfortable place and perquisites--his +trade and living, in fact; and that party will be paid in full or know +the reason why. They support each other--both at the expense of the +general community. There is a printed rule of a Political Labour +League which says that "before any person can be accepted as a +candidate for the Federal or State Parliament" he shall "place in the +hands of the executive of the league an agreement that in the event of +his acting contrary to the policy of the combined Labour +Organisation," and of their consequently "passing a vote of +no-confidence in him, he will resign his seat." Furthermore, he is to +"place his resignation (undated) in the hands of the executive, +together with a document authorising the executive to fill in the date +subsequent to the day on which the vote is taken." Parliament would +not be what it is if there were not plenty of men willing to subscribe +to such contracts as these--to sell their votes in the House +beforehand, in order to get there. We all know that they do so sell +them. We see the price paid when such legislation as the Minimum Wage +Act is concocted, that pitiable outrage upon the natural, the moral, +and the economic law which is visibly recoiling upon the heads of +those it was framed to benefit, killing their goose of the golden eggs +as well as ours. + +It was to the Commonwealth Government that we looked for relief and +redress--that was the meaning of our wild jubilation when the union of +the states was consummated. Alas! Could we have foreknown the history +of its first couple of years, there would have been no federation in +our time. Could we be unfederated to-morrow, the _status quo ante_ +would be restored the day after, beyond the shadow of a doubt. For the +Federal politician is but the State politician writ large. His wider +sphere of action means but greater opportunities for the exercise of +those political vices which are so ingrained in him as to have become +his second nature. The first act of the Federal Ministry was one of +sordid personal greed; every following act seems to have been worse. +Federation, so far, has but riveted our chains at home and darkened +our character abroad--and I do not know which we feel most keenly, the +latter, I think. For when six voices spoke for us there was a chance +that some of them would do us justice; when the one voice that speaks +for all betrays and disgraces us, we have to take the loss and odium +silently and seem to acquiesce. + +However, the country itself is still, potentially, as fine a country +as the world contains--a huge manger, with provision for the +sustenance of myriads of happy homes--and it cannot always remain the +personal possession of a ring of unpatriotic self-seekers which may +more appropriately be likened to a vampire than to a dog. It was meant +to be a great country, and some day the hands that know how to make it +so will get hold of it, perhaps sooner than we think--possibly before +these pages see the light. I close my chronicle on the 18th of +September, 1902, at a moment when the political sky in this State is +brightened by a ray of hope such as it has not known for many a day, +and which may signify the approach of a new era, not for us only but +for the Commonwealth at large. + +Some months ago a movement of revolt against the state of things was +started by a few farmers, humble representatives of the uncorrupted +manhood of the community; they met in their little country town and +formed themselves into a league, which in a few months had branches in +all the rural districts. The moral force generated was enough to put +in a Government pledged (although no one believed its word) to the +league's programme of Economy and Reform. Only the typical, the +professional, politician jibed and jeered at the country bumpkins who +thought to touch his long-established power and his State-filled +pocket. "Is not this mine ass?" said he in effect, and, as soon as the +Reform Government submitted its Reform proposals, voted against them +with a light and fearless heart. But then an unexpected thing +happened. That Government chanced to be in earnest. On that vote it +not only resigned, but applied to the Governor for a dissolution--and +got it. "People's Turn Now" says (in big capitals) a city daily, +repeating the phrase with the same emphasis in every issue; and the +fact does seem to have come home to them at last. On the first of +October we shall see what we shall see. The Labour Party and the Civil +Service are combining in defence of the old _regime_, and their +numbers may be overwhelming; on the other side are the patriots, one +and all, and at their backs the Press, never before united at such a +time. + +I ought to have mentioned sooner--what everyone who knows this country +knows--how high and dignified is the moral and intellectual as well as +(comparatively speaking) the literary standard of our representative +journalism. It is beyond a doubt, and was never more so than at this +moment, that the Press of Australia has a consistent respect for +itself that is not found in some far greater nations. If there is a +"gutter" belonging to it, it is so small and inoffensive that no whiff +has reached my nose. With few exceptions (for which more or less can +be said on the score of other good qualities), there is nothing in +general circulation that is not almost austerely respectable. I have +been told of an editor of high position who, if "darling" appears in a +contributor's MS., crosses it out as an improper word, unfit for the +family circle. We are so respectable as that. The _Society Journal_, +vulgar spy and tale-bearer, cannot make a living here. In all the +papers, more or less, "social columns" are available for those who +wish to make public display of their frocks and entertainments, but +the old-fashioned lover of domestic privacy may count on being left +alone. As with some other of our national institutions, the founders +of our Press system were gentlemen. A standard of good taste and +high-mindedness was set in the beginning, and the tradition of it +remains a living force. When Edward Wilson of the _Argus_ bequeathed +the charge of his interests in that paper to the friend who for thirty +years conserved them so well--who for two-thirds of that time, until +his death, was my friend also and told me the story--the last +instructions of the dying man were: "Keep it gentlemanly, and never +let them be mean." The rival "great daily," the _Age_, is a power in +the State such as, I should think, no individual newspaper ever was in +any land, and the literary beauty and philosophical significance of +some of its Saturday leaders have reached a level that would have made +them notable amongst men of letters anywhere. And his daily newspaper +is as necessary as his meals to the average citizen, while the weekly +that belongs to it, a wonderful compendium of miscellaneous matter, is +drained to its last drop by the Sunday-resting Paterfamilias of the +rural districts, whose only book it is, and whom I have seen poring +over it luxuriously the live-long day. + +The Press of a country leads it, but it follows also, if only for the +reason that it has its living to earn. And our newspapers being what +they are--capable of the almost incredible nobleness of sinking their +life-long quarrels and party policies to stand shoulder to shoulder +when the true welfare of their State demands it--is the best proof of +its inherent soundness that any country could show. For the example of +Victoria will be an inspiration to her sister colonies, which are all +one people with her, and all in like case. + +It is indeed a good country, even as it stands. I can say with truth +and gratitude, homesickness notwithstanding, that nowhere could I have +been better off. And I am as sure as I am of anything that sooner or +later--this year or next year, or after my time--the day of +emancipation and enlightenment will come, to inevitably make it as +great as it is good. + + +THE END + + + _Colston & Coy., Limited, Printers. Edinburgh_ + + * * * * * + + +-----------------------------------------------------------+ + | Typographical errors corrected in text: | + | | + | Page 26: Melbourue replaced with Melbourne | + | Page 46: "in any of then" replaced with "in any of them" | + | Page 291: "so warmed by he reflected" replaced with | + | "so warmed by the reflected" | + | | + | Note that the spelling of 'canons' on page 62 is retained | + | as is since the writer of the quote does not have a good | + | grasp of the English language. | + | | + +-----------------------------------------------------------+ + + * * * * * + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Thirty Years in Australia, by Ada Cambridge + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THIRTY YEARS IN AUSTRALIA *** + +***** This file should be named 37825.txt or 37825.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/8/2/37825/ + +Produced by Darleen Dove, Shannon Barker, Jeannie Howse +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive/American +Libraries.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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