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diff --git a/37745-8.txt b/37745-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..48c30ef --- /dev/null +++ b/37745-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3237 @@ +Project Gutenberg's Manners & Cvftoms of ye Englyfhe, by Richard Doyle + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Manners & Cvftoms of ye Englyfhe + Drawn from ye Qvick + +Author: Richard Doyle + +Release Date: October 13, 2011 [EBook #37745] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANNERS & CVFTOMS OF YE ENGLYFHE *** + + + + +Produced by Chris Curnow, fulvia and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + +[Transcriber's Note: Italic text is denoted by _underscores_ and +superscript is denoted by {curly brackets}.] + + + + +_MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF YE ENGLYSHE_ + + [Illustration: Manners + & Cvstoms + of y{e} Englyshe] + + DRAWN FROM ye QVICK + + BY RICHARD DOYLE + + WITH EXTRACTS FROM + MR. PIPS HIS DIARY + BY PERCIVAL LEIGH + + T·N·FOULIS + London & Edinburgh + 1911 + +_The publisher has to acknowledge his indebtedness +to Messrs. Bradbury, Agnew, & Co. Ltd., the +publishers of the original edition of this work, +for permission kindly granted to include in this +new edition several copyright pictures with their +accompanying text._ + +_November 1911_ + +_Printed by_ MORRISON & GIBB LIMITED, _Edinburgh_ + + + + +_CONTENTS OF YE VOLUME._ + + + _Ye Contributor hys Preface_ _Page_ vii + + _A Cydere Cellare duryng a Comyck Songe_ 1 + + _An "At Home." Ye Polka_ 3 + + _Ye Fashonable Worlde in Hyde Parke_ 5 + + _A Drawynge Room Day_ 7 + + _Smythfield Cattle Markete_ 9 + + _A Few Friends to Tea, and a Lyttle Musyck_ 11 + + _Ye National Sporte!!! of Steeple Chasynge_ 13 + + _Ye Commons ressolved into a Commytte_ 15 + + _Ye Public its Excytemente on ye Appearance of Miss Lind_ 17 + + _A Prospect of Exeter Hall_ 19 + + _Ye Exhybityon at ye Royal Academye_ 21 + + _A View of Epsom Downes on ye Derbye Daye_ 23 + + _A Prospect of Greenwich Fair_ 25 + + _Kensyngton Gardens with ye Bande Playinge there_ 27 + + _Ye Hyghest Court of Law in ye Kyngdom_ 29 + + _Ye Flower Showe at Chysyk Gardens_ 31 + + _"Socyetye" enjoyinge itselfe at a Soyrée_ 33 + + _A View of Mr. Lorde hys Cryket Grounde_ 35 + + _A Raylwaye Meetynge_ 37 + + _A Prospect of ye Thames its Regatta_ 39 + + _A Raylway Statyon_ 41 + + _Ye Brytysh Granadiers amountynge Guard_ 43 + + _A Prospect of a Fashyonable Haberdasher hys Shope_ 45 + + _Regente Streete at Four of ye Clocke p.m._ 47 + + _Blackwall_ 49 + + _Ye Sporte of Punte Fyshynge off Rychmonde_ 51 + + _Trycks of ye London Trade_ 53 + + _Madame Tussaud her Wax Werkes_ 55 + + _Deere Stalkynge in ye Hyghlandes_ 57 + + _A Prospect of an Election_ 59 + + _A Partie of Sportsmen out a Shutynge_ 61 + + _Ye Wyne Vaults at ye Docks_ 63 + + _A Weddynge Breakfaste_ 65 + + _A Theatre. Ye House amused by ye Comycke Actor_ 67 + + _A Prospecte of ye Zoological Societye its Gardens_ 69 + + _Westminster Hall_ 71 + + _A Prospecte of ye 5th of November_ 73 + + _A Banquet of ye Agricultural Interest_ 75 + + _Ye Appearance of ye Crymynyal Courte_ 77 + + _A Promenade Concerte_ 79 + + _Ye Serpentyne during a Hard Frost_ 81 + + _A Fashionable Club. Four o'clock p.m._ 83 + + _The Circus at Astley's_ 85 + + _Ye Fathers of ye Churche gyving Judgmente_ 87 + + _A Juvenile Partye_ 89 + + _A Grande Review_ 91 + + _A Pic-nic_ 93 + + _Vauxhall_ 95 + + _A Scientific Institution_ 97 + + + + +_YE CONTRIBUTOR HYS PREFACE_ + + +Suppose the great-grandfather of anybody could step down from his +picture-frame and stalk abroad, his descendant would be eager to hear +his opinion of the world we live in. Most of us would like to know what +the men of the _Past_ would say of the _Present_. If some old +philosopher, for instance SOCRATES, exchanging robes for modern clothes, +lest he should be followed by the boys and taken up by the police, could +revisit this earth, walk our streets, see our sights, behold the scenes +of our political and social life, and, contemplating this bustling age +through the medium of his own quiet mind, set down his observations +respecting us and our usages, he would write a work, no doubt, very +interesting to her MAJESTY'S subjects. + +It would answer the purpose of a skilful literary enchanter to "unsphere +the spirit of PLATO," or that of PYTHAGORAS, ARISTOTLE, or any other +distinguished sage of antiquity, and send it out on its rambles with a +commission to take, and report, its views of things in general. But such +necromancy would have tasked even the Warlock of the North, would puzzle +the wizard of any point of the compass, and, it is probable, could be +cleverly achieved by no adept inferior to the ingenious MR. SHAKSPEARE. + +However, there flourished in a somewhat later day a philosopher, for +such he was after his fashion, a virtuoso, antiquary, and _F.R.S._, +whose ghost an inconsiderable person may perhaps attempt to raise +without being accused of pretending to be too much of a conjuror. He +appears to have been a _Peripatetic_, at least until he could keep a +coach, but on the subjects of dress, dining, and some others, his +opinions favour strongly of _Epicurism_. A little more than a hundred +and eighty years ago he employed his leisure in going about everywhere, +peeping into everything, seeing all that he could, and chronicling his +experiences daily. In his _Diary_, which happily has come down to our +times, the historical facts are highly valuable, the comments mostly +sensible, the style is very odd, and the autobiography extremely +ludicrous. I have adventured reverently to evoke this worshipful +gentleman, that, resuming his old vocation as a journalist, he might +comment on the "_Manners and Customs of ye Englyshe_," in the name of +MR. PIPS. I hope his shadow, if not his spirit, may be recognised in the +following pages. + + PERCIVAL LEIGH. + + + + +[Illustration: _A CIDERE CELLARE DURING A COMICK SONGE._ + + SATURDAY, _March 10, 1849_.] + + +To Drury Lane this Evening, to see the Horsemanship, which did divert me +mightily; but had rather it had been at Astley's, which is the fitter +Place for it. After that, to Supper at the Cider Cellars in Maiden Lane, +wherein was much Company, great and small, and did call for Kidneys and +Stout, then a small Glass of _Aqua-Vitæ_ and Water, and thereto a Cigar. +While we supped, the Singers did entertain us with Glees and Comical +Ditties; but Lack, to hear with how little Wit the young Sparks about +Town are tickled! But the Thing that did most take me was to see and +hear one Ross sing the Song of SAM HALL the Chimney-Sweep, going to be +hanged: for he had begrimed his Muzzle to look unshaven, and in rusty +black Clothes, with a battered old Hat on his Crown and a short Pipe in +his Mouth, did sit upon the Platform, leaning over the Back of a Chair: +so making believe that he was on his way to Tyburn. And then he did sing +to a dismal Psalm-Tune, how that his Name was SAM HALL, and that he had +been a great Thief, and was now about to pay for all with his Life; and +thereupon he swore an Oath which did make me somewhat shiver, though +divers laugh. Then, in so many Verses, how his Master had badly taught +him and now he must hang for it; how he should ride up Holborn Hill in a +Cart, and the Sheriffs would come, and then the Parson, and preach to +him, and after them would come the Hangman; and at the End of each Verse +he did repeat his Oath. Last of all, how that he should go up to the +Gallows; and desired the Prayers of his Audience, and ended by cursing +them all round. Methinks it had been a Sermon to a Rogue to hear him, +and I wish it may have done good to some of the Company. Yet was his +cursing very horrible, albeit to not a few it seemed a high Joke; but I +do doubt that they understood the Song and did only relish the Oaths. +Strange to think what a Hit this Song of SAM HALL hath made, and how it +hath taken the Town, and how popular it is not only among Tavern +Haunters and Frequenters of Night Houses, but also with the Gentry and +Aristocracy who do vote it a Thing that ought to be heard though a +blackguard, and look in at the Cider Cellars Night by Night after Dinner +at their Clubs to hear it sung. After SAM HALL, to pay for my Supper, +which cost me 2s. 2d., besides 4d. to the Waiter; and then Home in a +Cab, it being late, and I fearing to anger my Wife, which cost me 2s. +more; but I grudged not the Money, having been much diverted, and so to +Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _AN "AT HOME." YE POLKA._ + + WEDNESDAY, _March 21st, 1849_.] + + +To-night to an Evening Party with my Wife, to SIR HILARY JINKS'S, +whereunto we had been bidden to come at 10 of the Clock; for SIR HILARY +and her Ladyship have taken to keeping rare Hours. Thereat was a goodly +Company of about an hundred, and the Women all very fine, my Wife in her +last Year's Gown, which I am tired of, and do hate to see. But did not +tell her that, knowing she would have said how soon I might rid me of +that Objection. We did fall to dancing Quadrilles, wherein I made one, +and had for my Partner a pretty little black Damsel, whom after the +Dance was ended, did hand to a Sofa, and thereon sit me by her Side; but +seeing my Wife looking hard at us, did presently make my Bow, and go +away. And, my Wife seated by the Wall, to walk about the Room, and speak +with such as I thought like to tell me Something worth hearing, but told +me Nothing I cared to hear, they all shunning to talk, and in their +white Ties, and Waistcoats, and Kid Gloves, starch, and constrained, and +ill at Ease, which was ridiculous. Then to look on while some did dance +the Polka, which did please me not much, for had beheld it better danced +at the _Casino_, and do think it more suitable to such a Place than to a +Drawing Room. The Young Fellows did take their Partners by the Waist, +and these did lean upon the other's Shoulders, and with one Arm +stretched out, and holding Hand in Hand, they did spin round the Room +together. But, Lack! to see the kicking up of Heels and stamping of them +on the Ground, which did mightily remind me of _Jim Crow_. In Truth, I +am told that the Polka is but a Peasant's Hop, from Hungary, and to +think now of Persons of Quality cutting such Capers! SIR HILARY to his +Taste; but a Minuet for me at Home, with Gentlewomen, and a Polka with +Milkmaids at a Maying or Show Girls in a Booth. Meanwhile the Servants +did hand round Glasses of Negus, which was poor Stuff; and those who +listed to Supper when they chose, in a side Room, off wretched +Sandwiches of the Size of the Triangles of EUCLID his _Geometry_, which +did think shabby. Expected Chicken and Lobster Salad, with Champagne, +and Oysters and Ale and Stout, but disappointed. Home in a Cab, at Two +in the Morning, much wearied and little pleased; and on our Way Home, +spying a Tavern open, did go and get me a Pint of Beer, and the same to +my Wife; for we were both athirst, and she in an ill Humour about the +Beauty I had danced with, and I because of the bad Supper; and so very +ill-contented to Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE FASHONABLE WORLDE TAYKNGE ITS EXERCYSE IN HYDE +PARKE._ + + TUESDAY, _March 27th, 1849_.] + + +This Day to the Ring in Hyde Park for a Walk to get me an Appetite, and +look at the fine Folks and People of Fashion riding in their carriages, +which it do much delight me to behold. But, good Lack! what a strange +Notion of the Pleasure of a Drive; with the Carriages in a close Line +jammed all together, and sometimes coming to a dead Stop like the +Omnibuses in Fleet Street of an Afternoon, and seldom moving on faster +than Mourning Coaches at a Funeral. Did see many mighty pretty young +Ladies; and one sitting in a Landau with a Coronet on the Panel, upon +whom I did smile, but perceiving that she did turn up her Nose at me, I +did look glum; howbeit, another comely Damsel that I smiled at did blush +and simper, which gave me Joy. It was as good as a Play to watch the +young Guardsmen, with their Tufts and Mustaches, riding straight-legged, +and them and the other Bucks taking off their Hats and kissing their +Hands to the charming Belles as they passed them by. But it was rarer +still to behold a Snob that strove to do the same Sort of Thing, and did +get laughed at for his Pains. Then what Sport to observe the fat +Coachmen, in their Wigs, something like Bishops', sitting on their +Boxes, and the Footmen behind with their parti-coloured Liveries of drab +and green, and red and yellow Plush, and gold-laced Hats, Shoulderknots +and Cockades, bearing their Canes, and their Noses to the Sky, holding +their Heads as high as Peacocks for Pride in their Frippery and plump +Calves! These Fellows are as fine as Court Cards, and full as +Ridiculous, and they do divert me in the Extreme: only their bepowdered +Pates do offend me, for I think the Fashion an uncleanly one; and after +all, I wonder how their Masters and Mistresses can delight in dressing +them out so much like Mountebanks. Did note divers Noble Lords and +Gentlemen of the House of Commons whom I did know either by Sight or +from the Caricatures in the Shop-Windows. From four to five o'Clock +around the Ring and up and down by the Serpentine to make my +observations. Methought how jolly these fine People must be, and how +happy they looked compared to a Beggar Boy whom I did spy squatting on +the Grass: yet no Doubt many of them have Troubles enough, and some may +be even short of Cash to pay for their Vanities. After that, to the +Corner, by the Powder Magazine, nigh to Kensington Gardens, to see the +Company alight from their Carriages, and take an Inventory of the +Ladies' Dresses, whereof to furnish an Account to my Wife. Then away +home at half-past Five, and so to Dinner off a Shoulder of Mutton and +Onion-Sauce, which my Wife doth make exceeding well, and my Dinner did +content me much; and thereupon I did promise my Wife a new Bonnet, the +Like whereof I had seen on a Countess in the Park, and so both in great +Good Humour, and very loving all the Evening. + + + + +[Illustration: _A DRAWYNGE ROOM DAY. SAYNTE JAMES HYS STREETE._ + + THURSDAY, _March 29th, 1849_.] + + +To see the Nobility and Gentry, and other great Company, go to the +QUEEN'S Drawing-Room, with a Friend to St. James's Street, where did +stand in Front of BOODLE'S Club-House in the Rain, which was heavy, and +spoiled my Paris Hat, cost me twelve Shillings. But the Sight of the +Show almost worth the Damage; for the Red and Blue Uniforms of the Army +and Navy Officers with their Orders on their Breasts, and their Cocked +Hats and Plumes in their Laps, and the Ladies of Quality in their Silks +and Satins of all Manner of Colours, and their Hair crowned with Ostrich +Feathers, and sparkling with Pearls and Diamonds, did much delight me to +behold. But I wish I could have had as good a View of the Gentlefolks +within the Carriages as I had of the Lackeys outside, who, with their +supercilious Airs, and their Jackanapes Garb, did divert me more than +ever. I do continually marvel at the enormous Calves of those Varlets, +for which one might almost think they were reared, like a sort of +Cattle. Indeed, I should have believed that their Stockings were +stuffed, if I had not seen one of them wince when a Horse chanced to lay +hold of his Leg. It did more and more amaze me to observe how high they +carried their Noses, especially as most of them had Posies in their +bosoms; whereas they looked as though, instead, there were some +unsavoury Odour beneath their Nostrils. But much as the Servants +resembled Zanies and Harlequins, yet did some of their Masters look not +much better; being dressed in a Court Suit, which methinks do make a +Gentleman seem a sort of embroidered Quaker. I do greatly wonder why the +ugliest Apparel of any Date in English History should be pitched upon +for the Court Dress. But the splendid Carriages painted with Coats of +Arms, and the stately caparisoned Horses, did make a rare Show; and +among them mighty droll to mark the Hack Cabs not suffered to enter at +the Palace Gate; so the Fares had to alight and walk on foot the Rest of +the Way to the Drawing-Room: and so into the Presence of Her MAJESTY in +dirty Boots: which was not seemly; but many of them are Half Pay +Officers, and other poor Subjects, who could afford no better than a +Cab. Pleased to see the Police with their Truncheons, keeping Order +among the Vagabonds, till one did tell me to move on, which did vex me. +Then there were the Guards, in full Uniform on Horseback, with their +Helmets on their Heads and their Swords drawn, about one under each Lamp +Post, mounting Guard, and I believe this is the heaviest Part of their +Duty. What with the blazing Uniforms and glittering Jewels, my Eyes were +dazzled and my Head did somewhat ache; moreover, some pretty Faces put +my Heart in a Flutter, which did not think fit to mention to my Wife. +Methinks how fine it would be to ride in State to Court, if it were not +so chargeable, and I should much delight in the Honour and Glory of the +Thing, but not like the Expense. A Drawing-Room doth altogether eclipse +the LORD MAYOR'S Show; although it do seem but a Toy and gilt +Gingerbread Affair, and an empty, childish Display, like the Babies' +Game of King and Queen; but then it hath certainly this Advantage, that +it do much good to Trade. + + + + +[Illustration: _SMYTHFIELD CATTLE MARKETE._ + + MONDAY, _April 9th, 1849_.] + + +Up betimes, it being scarcely Light, to Smithfield, to see the Cattle +Market, which I do think a great Disgrace to the City, being so nasty, +filthy, and dangerous a Place in the very Heart of London. I did observe +the Manner of driving the Beasts together, used by the Drovers, which +did disgust me. To force the Oxen into their Places, they have stout +Cudgels, pointed with iron Goads or Prods, wherewith they thrust the +Creatures in the flesh of their Hind Quarters, or with the Cudgel +belabour them on the Hock. These means failing, they do seize the +Animal's Tail and give it a sudden Wrench with a Turn of the Wrist, +whereby they snap the Tail-bone, and so twist and wring the spinal Cord +till he pushes forward as far as they would have him. Some, not getting +Room for the Beasts in the Pens, do drive them into Circles called Ring +Droves, with their hind Parts outwards, and their Heads forced as close +as may be together: this done by beating them with all their Might about +the Head and Eyes, and between the Horns, which they do call pething +them. Then to see how they crowd the Sheep into the Pens by dogging them +as their Word is, which means baiting them with Dogs that do tear the +Sheeps' Eyes, Ears, and Cheeks, until they worry such Numbers in, that +not one can budge an Inch. All this Cruelty is caused by the Market not +being big enough: for which Reason they are obliged to force the unlucky +Brutes into the smallest possible Space. What with the Oaths and Curses +of the Drovers and Butchers and the Barking of their Dogs and the Cries +of the Animals in Torture, I do think I never heard a more horrid Din in +my Life. The Hearing was as bad as the Seeing, and both as bad as could +be, except the Smell, which was worse than either. But to be sure it was +good Sport to see here and there a fat Grazier overthrown by a Pig +running between his Legs, and so upsetting him in the Mire. It were well +if it were never worse; but with mad Oxen driven from the Market through +Streets full of People, it continually happens that some Person is +tossed and gored, and one of these Days it will be an Alderman, and then +Smithfield will be put an End to. No doubt it would have been done away +with long ago, but for the Tolls and Dues which the Corporation do +derive from the Market. This is why they do keep up a Nuisance which did +well nigh poison me; though one of them at a Meeting did declare that he +thought Smithfield salubrious, and did send his Children to walk there +for Change of Air, which if it were for the better, methinks that +Gentleman's Dwelling-House should be a sweet Abode. All but the Citizens +do say that Parliament ought to abolish this Nuisance; but it is thought +that my LORD JOHN dare not stir in the Matter, because he is Member for +the City. To Breakfast to an Early Coffee House, having lost my Pocket +Handkerchief, cost me 5s., doubtless by the Pickpockets, of whom +Smithfield, besides its other Recommendations, is a great Resort. But +content, not having had an Ox's Horn in my Stomach, and having seen all +I wanted, and do not wish to see any more. + + + + +[Illustration: _A FEW FRIENDS TO TEA, AND A LYTTLE MUSYCK._ + + TUESDAY, _April 17, 1849_.] + + +To MR. JIGGINS'S, where my Wife and I were invited to Tea and a little +Musique, but we had much Musique and little Tea, though the Musique was +like the Tea in Quality, and I do prefer a stronger Kind of Musique as +well as Liquor. Yet it was pleasing enough to the Ear to hear the +fashionable Ballads, and the Airs from all the New Italian Operas sung +by the young Ladies; which, though they expressed Nothing but +common-place Love and Sentiment, yet were a pretty Sing-Song. But to see +the young Fellows whilst a Beauty was singing crowd round her, and bend +over her Shoulders, and almost scramble to turn over the Leaves of her +Musique Book! Besides the Singing, there was Playing of the Piano Forte, +with the Accompaniment of a Fiddle and Bass Violl, the Piano being +played by a stout fat Lady with a Dumpling Face; but for all her being +so fat it did amaze me to see how nimbly she did fillip the Keys. They +did call this Piece a Concerto, and I was told it was mighty brilliant; +but when I asked what Fancy, Passion, or Description there was in it, no +one could tell; and I verily thought the Brilliancy like that of a Paste +Buckle. It had not even an Air to carry away and whistle, and would have +pleased me just as well if I had stopped my Ears, for I could discern +Nothing in it but Musical Sleight of Hand. But good Lack! to think how, +in these Days, Execution is Everything in Musique, and Composition +little or Nothing: for almost no Account is made of the Master, and a +preposterous Value put upon the Player, or artiste, as the Frenchified +Phrase now is! After the Concerto, some Polkas and Waltzes, which did +better please me; for they were a lively Jingle certainly, and not quite +unmeaning. Strange, to find how rare a Thing good Musique is in Company; +and by good Musique I mean such as do stir up the Soul, like the Flowers +and Sunshine in Spring, or Storms and Tempests, or ghostly Imaginations, +or the thought of great Deeds, or tender or terrible Passages in Poetry. +My Wife do play some brave Pieces in this Kind, by MYNHEER VAN +BEETHOVEN, and I would rather hear her perform one of them, than all I +did hear to-Night put together; and so I did tell her when we got Home, +which did content her well. But every one to his Taste; and they who +delight in the trivial Style of Musique to theirs, as I to mine, not +doubting that the English, that have but just begun to be sensible to +Musique at all, will be awake to the nobler Sort of it by-and-by. And, +at any Rate, an Evening of insipid Musique and weak Tea is better than +sitting toping and guzzling after Dinner. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE NATIONAL SPORTE!!! OF STEEPLE CHASYNGE._ + + MONDAY, _April 23, 1849_.] + + +Down the Road to a Steeple Chase, which I had never seen before, and did +much long to behold: for of all Things I do love Diversion and +Merriment; and both MR. STRAPPES and SIR WILLIAM SPURKINS did tell me +there would be rare Sport. Got a Place in the Grand Stand, cost me +half-a-Guinea, which was loth to part with, but thought I should have +brave Entertainment for so much Money. Did find myself here in fine +Company, Dukes, and Earls, and Lords and Ladies too, which did please +me; but among them some Snobs, in Stable-cut-Clothes, with spotted +Neckcloths and Fox-headed Breast-pins; though some of these were Lords +too, who seemed to have been at Pains to look like Ostlers. To see the +Crowd on Horseback and in Carriages, and those on Foot pushing and +scrambling, and trampling each other to get a Sight of the Course, as if +there had been going to be a Coronation, or a Man hanged! The Course, +marked out with Flags, and having Hurdles, Posts, Fences, Rails, +Hedges, Drains, Ditches, and Brooks in the Way; and this Sportsmen do +call the Country, and say such a Country is a Teaser, and so I should +think. By-and-by Jockies in their Saddles, but their word is Pig-skins, +looking, in their gay Colours, like Tulips on Horseback, which was a +pretty Sight. Then a Bell rung to clear the Course, and the Horses with +their Riders drawn up ready to start, and presently a Flag flourished +for a Signal: and so they off. Good Lack, to see them galloping +helter-skelter, like mad, through Rivers, and over Hedges and Ditches, +and the whole Thing done in ten Minutes! Some did jump the Fences and +Hedges, which they about me did term Raspers, clean over; but others not +so lucky, and stuck in Brambles or on Stakes, or between double Rows of +Posts, with a Quickset in the Middle, whereof the cant name is +Bullfinchers. Others upset in Ditches; and one or two of them not able +to get up again, and carried away upon some of the Hurdles; and when the +Race was over, three Horses found lying with their Backs broken, and so +shot. SIR WILLIAM did inform me that it was a tidy Field, which I could +not agree, with the Raspers and Palisades upon it, and the Horses +spiked, or sprawling with their Riders on the Ground with broken Backs +and Limbs. Nor did I understand the Fun of this Part of the Thing; +wherefore I suppose I must be dull; for it do seem to be the chief +Delight that People take in it. For, as if the Gates and Rails belonging +to the Ground were not dangerous enough, they do set up others called +made Fences, being stubborn Posts and Stakes twisted with Briars and +Brambles, which do seem to be meant for Nothing but to be tumbled over, +and in that Case to do as much Mischief, as may be, to Man and Beast. +The Horses mostly ridden by Jockeys for Hire; but some by their Owners, +who, methinks, do set a sufficient Value upon their own Existence when +they venture their Necks in riding a Steeple Chase; but I do blame them +for risking the Life of a useful Horse. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE COMMONS RESSOLVED INTO A COMMYTTE OF YE WHOLE HOUSE._ + + FRIDAY, _April 27, 1849_.] + + +To the House of Commons, where an Irish Debate on the Rate-in-Aid Bill, +which did make me drowsy. The House in Committee; the Irish Members +moving all Sorts of frivolous Amendments, abusing the Government, and +quarrelling among themselves. SIR H. BARRON did accuse MR. REYNOLDS of +being ready to Vote away other People's Money because he had none of his +own, and MR. REYNOLDS did say that he never saw such Misery as on SIR H. +BARRON'S Estate; whereupon SIR H. BARRON up in a Rage, and did deny the +Fact with vehement Gestures, flourishing his Fists gallantly. Then MR. +REYNOLDS did fall foul of MR. BATESON, one that had been a Captain, for +questioning the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER concerning young REYNOLDS'S +Place; and did make a Joke upon MR. BATESON'S Mustachios: whereat much +laughter. But a small Joke do go a great Way in the House of Commons. +Before the Debate, LORD JOHN RUSSELL marching up one of the side +Galleries, and taking the Measure of the House through his Eye-Glass: a +sharp delicate little Man, with a mild Voice, but do carry himself +stately. Methought his Observations amused him, for he smirked a little, +and looked as if he knew the Customers he had to deal with. But to see +him and the HOME SECRETARY and the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER trying to +persuade the Irish Members not to press their ridiculous Motions to a +Division, wheedling and coaxing them, as smiling and civil as +Haberdashers! The Bill to be reported to-morrow; and then the House to a +little ordinary Business; and MR. HORSMAN'S Bill postponed, through the +Irish cavilling and squabbling. Then a Debate on naming the Committee on +Savings Banks; and made an Irish Question too; the Dispute how many +Irish Members were to serve on the Committee: and the End, the Naming of +the Committee delayed. This Way of doing Business in the House of +Commons makes it no Wonder how little is done; and the chief Cause is +the Irish Members haranguing upon Nothing and quarrelling about Straws, +which do seem to me a childish and spiteful Attempt to give Trouble to +Government. I did hope to hear a Speech from SIR ROBERT PEEL, but was +disappointed, which did vex me; but heard a few Words from COLONEL +SIBTHORP, which made mighty Laughter, and were as sensible as any Thing +I heard all the Evening: and the Colonel in a brave Waistcoat, with his +droll Figure did divert me much. Last of all, a Settlement of the +Smithfield Committee: and I do wonder this became not an Irish Matter +too. The House adjourning at half-past One in the Morning; and to see +the Number of Members lying asleep on the Gallery Benches! All this +While Nothing whatever done of more Importance than Parish Business at a +Vestry. I off to Supper in the Haymarket on pickled Salmon and Stout, +cost me 1s. 6d., and then Home and to Bed, past 2 o'Clock, and my Wife +do say that the House of Commons keep worse Hours than any Tavern in +Town. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE PUBLIC ITS EXCYTEMENTE ON YE APPEARANCE OF MISS +LIND._ + + SATURDAY, _May 5, 1849_.] + + +To the Queen's House in the Haymarket to hear Jenny Lind, whom Everybody +do call the Swedish Nightingale. Did go with a Pit Ticket, cost me 8s. +6d., which is a mighty Sum of Money to pay for only the Chance of a +Seat. Went at 6 p.m., expecting a Crowd, and there a Mob of People +already at the Doors, and some did say they had come as early as Five. +Got as close as I could to the Pit Entrance, and the Throng increasing; +and by-and-by Ladies in their Opera Dresses standing without their +Bonnets in the Street. Many of them between the Carriage Wheels and +under the Horses' Heads: and methinks I did never see more Carriages +together in my Life. At last the Doors open; which I began to fear they +never would, and I in with the Press, a most terrible Crush, and the +Ladies screaming and their Dresses torn in the Scramble, wherefore I +thought it a good Job that my Wife was not with me. With much ado into +the Pit, the Way being stopped by a Snob in a green Jockey Coat and +Bird's Eye Neckcloth, that the Checktakers would not suffer to pass. The +Pit full in a Twinkling, and I fain to stand where I best might, nigh to +Fop's Alley: but presently a Lady fainting with the Heat and carried +out, which I glad of; I mean that I got her Place. I did never behold so +much Company in the House before; and every Box full of Beauties, and +hung with yellow Satin Curtains, did show like a brave picture in a Gold +Frame; which was very handsome to look round upon while the Musicians +were tuning. The Fiddles tuned, and the Overture played, the Curtain up +for the Opera; which was the _Sonnambula_; the Part of _Amina_ acted by +JENNY. The moment she came on the Stage, the Audience, Lords, Ladies, +and all, upon their Legs, shouting, cheering, waving Hats and +Handkerchiefs, and clapping of Hands in white Kid Gloves. But at last +they silent, and let the Nightingale sing: and for certain she is a +wonderful Singer. It did amaze me to hear how easy and sweetly she do +trill and warble the most difficult Passages: and I perceive she hath a +rare Ability of Voice. But what did no less astonish me was her Acting, +it being as good as her singing; for she did seem to forget herself in +her Part, instead of her Part in herself; which is the Mistake of most +Opera Singers. To think that she should draw the whole Town in Crowds +together to hear her sing a few pretty Sugar-plum Melodies and portray +the Grief of a poor Peasant Wench cast off by her Lover! But she do put +a Grace and Beauty of her own into the Character and Musique: which I +take to be the Mark of a true Genius. She made to sing divers Songs +twice over, and called upon the Stage at the End of the Act, and again +when the Opera was finished; when, good Lack, to see the Nosegays and +Posies flung in Heaps upon the Stage! She must needs get a Mint of Money +by her Singing; but she has spent a Deal of it in building Hospitals, +and I do wish (Heaven forgive me!) I had all she has given away in +Charity. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PROSPECT OF EXETER HALL. SHOWYNGE A CHRISTIAN +GENTLEMAN DENOUNCYNGE YE POPE._ + + WEDNESDAY, _May 9, 1849_.] + + +Went this Morning to Exeter Hall, where one of the May Meetings that do +regularly take Place at this Time of the Season, and serve in Lieu of +Concerts and Shows to a Sort of People that call themselves serious. +This, one of the Meetings of a Protestant Association, which I had heard +much of and did long to go to, expecting to hear some good Argument +against the Roman Catholiques. But instead of Argument, I did hear +Nothing but Abuse, which do always go in at one Ear and out at the +other. No new Point brought forward to confute Popery; but only an +Iteration of the Old Charges of Superstition and so forth, urged with no +greater Power than mere Strength of Lungs. The Commotions on the +Continent last Year laid much Stress on, and the Turmoils in Catholique +and Quiet in Protestant States contrasted, as though there had been no +Disturbance or Trouble in Prussia or Denmark, or any Tumult or +Revolution in Belgium or Portugal. I did note two chief Speakers, whom, +on their rising, the Assembly did applaud as if they had been Actors, +and to be sure, they ranted more frantically than I did ever see HICKS. +Yet at Times they stooped to Drollery in the Height of their Passion, +and one of them did make such Sport of the Roman Catholique Religion as +would not have been suffered in the Adelphi Theatre. But I do find that +some who would not be seen in a Play-House can enjoy their laugh at +Exeter Hall. This Orator was a Clergyman of some Kind, for he was called +Reverend in the Hand-bill, and dressed in a clerical Habit, but his Eyes +and Face blazing with Wrath, did storm like a Madman against the +Maynooth Grant and the POPE OF ROME; and howled as fierce as a Hyæna. +The other a Clergyman too, and looked as much like one, with his +sneering angry Visage, and did vehemently harangue, crying bitterly out +on some of my Lords and the Members of the Commons' House that had voted +for Popish Endowment. His Oration a medley of Sarcasm, Invective, and +Buffoonery, and wound up with a Flourish of Patriotism and Loyalty. The +Speeches received with Applause and Laughter, but also with +Interruptions and crying to turn Somebody out. The Speakers on a +Platform, whereon they bounced backwards and forwards, having Rails in +Front as if to hinder them from breaking loose on the Audience. Behind +them a Crowd of dainty smooth Gentlemen in Black, with white +Neckerchiefs, and to see how demure they looked, as if Butter would not +melt in their Mouths! In the Body of the Hall a goodly Number of Heads, +but by far the Most of them in Bonnets. The two chief Speeches lasted an +Hour and a Half each, and the Chairman leaving his Seat, I away, my Head +aching through the Raving. Such Violence, methinks, do only prove that +there are other Bigots besides Papists; and is the worst Means of +enforcing any Truth; for they that speak in Anger and Passion are +commonly concluded by indifferent People to be in the Wrong. The Society +complaining of want of Funds, which I do not wonder at, for I fear me +the Subscribers have but few Catholiques converted for their Money. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE EXHYBITYON AT YE ROYAL ACADEMYE._ + + MONDAY, _May 21, 1849_.] + + +This Morning with my Wife to the Exhibition of the Royal Academy, where +611 Paintings, besides Miniatures and other Drawings, and Pieces of +Sculpture, making altogether 1341 Works of Art, and methought it would +be strange if there were not some Masterpiece among so many. The Whole +to be seen for the small Sum of 1s., and the Catalogue cost me 1s. more, +but should have known all the old Hands as well without it. To see how +easy it is to distinguish them by their Styles after two or three Years' +Experience: as one by his Dogs, that might be expected to bark, or to +talk rather, with their Looks and Ways like Human Creatures. Then +another by his Colouring that do resemble a Mash of sweet Omelet with +all the Colours of the Rainbow and many more; which methinks is a +strange Fancy; but now he hath a Picture out of his trite Fashion; done +after the Manner of the antique Masters, and a good Imitation. A third +also by his unadorned Beauties with their glowing Eyes and Cheeks and +plump swarthy flesh, and a fourth by his never-ending Perspectives, and +Gulfs of Darkness, and Mountains of Blue. But this year I do mark fewer +of these old Acquaintances, and more of the Works of younger Men, +wherein there is less of Knack and more of Freshness, which I do esteem +a hopeful Sign. The Exhibition at large I judge to be a very excellent +middling one, many Pictures good in their Kind, but that Kind in very +few Cases high. The Silks and Satins mostly painted to Admiration, and +the Figures copied carefully from the Model; but this do appear too +plainly; and the Action generally too much like a Scene in a Play. In +the historical Pictures the Characters dressed strictly in the Fashion +of their Time, but in the best of them a Lack of Fancy and Imagination, +though seeming original through a certain Quaintness that do smack of +Church-Window Saints and illuminated Missals. The Landscapes better, and +a most brave Morning on the Lake of Zurich by one that hath the right +Stuff in him, and some sweet melancholy Shades and solemn Groves, and a +Solitary Pool that did please me mightily, and my Wife do say that the +Artist should be Commissioner of Woods and Forests. Some Pictures of +common Life pretty enough, and a little Crowd before a pleasant +sentimental one called the Duet. One or two droll ones, as the Slide, +and Drawing for the Militia, did make me laugh; but to think how many +Woodcuts as good as the best you can get in a little Miscellany +published weekly, cost you 3d. Fewer silly Portraits of Gentlemen and +Ladies than formerly, which is a Comfort. The Pictures fairly enough +hung, and strange to see a dead Lion between MONSIEUR GUIZOT and PRINCE +METTERNICH, as though to represent absolute Monarchy, and seemed meant +for a Joke. Some Pictures in the Octagon Room, which could not tell +whether they were good or no for Want of Light, and the same with all +the Sculptures in their Lumber Hole. This is how we treat Art in this +Country, and with Paintings presented to the Nation buried in a Vault, +but sorry Encouragement is given to Genius; and no Wonder that Artists +do Pictures for Furniture to sell to the great and small Vulgar, and so +produce the Kind of Works that make up the greater Part of the +Exhibition. + + + + +[Illustration: _A VIEW OF EPSOM DOWNES ON YE DERBYE DAYE._ + + WEDNESDAY, _May 23, 1849_.--DERBY DAY.] + + +To Epsom Downs to the Great Derby Race. In a Barouche, with a Party, +over Vauxhall Bridge, and by Clapham, carrying Hampers with Store of +every Thing needful for a brave Lunch. The Windows and House Fronts +crowded, and School-Boys mounted on Walls and Gates, and they and the +Urchins in the Street shouting, as though we were going to the Races for +their Amusement. But Lack! to see the pretty smart Damsels come out to +gaze at us, or peeping behind Blinds and Curtains, all in high Glee, and +good Humour do wonderfully heighten Beauty, as I do tell my Wife. The +Road through Trees and Orchards, and the Sun shining through the young +Leaves and on the Horse-Chestnut Blossoms, and the Flowers looking +bright like the Lasses. So we on, till into the Ruck, which is the Jam +of Carriages caused by the Stoppage at the Turnpike: and did banter each +other and them about us. Across the Course to the Hill, the Admission +cost us £1. Good Lack! what a Crowd of People collected to see which +out of six-and-twenty Horses should run the fastest, and what a Medley +of Vans, Omnibusses, and Taxed Carts on either Side of the Course with +the People in Front of them, and the Grand Stand crowded with Heads, +plenty as Blackberries, and seeming like a huge Mass of them. A Throng +of Carriages about us, whereon young handsome rakish-looking Gallants +with Mustaches and Cigars. Here and there, in open Coaches, Ladies in +lilac and blue Dresses, and pink Bonnets, and gay Ribbons, all Manner of +Colours, looking, with the parti-coloured Flags over the Booths, mighty +lively. Presently a Bell rung and the Course cleared, but then to see an +unlucky Dog running to get out, and the Mob yelling at him, and the poor +Dog in his Fright rushing straight on like mad! Then the Horses with the +motley Jockies on them prancing up and down before the Grand Stand, to +show their Paces to the Folks in the Betting Ring. At last, they taken +to the Post, and so started with much Cheering, and came easy round +Tattenham Corner; but presently away in good earnest, like Shot! The +Chief Struggle between the _Flying Dutchman_ and _Hotspur_, but +Yellow-Cap did win by half a Length. The Winner declared by his Number, +hung out in Front of the Grand Stand, and to see the Flock of Carrier +Pigeons sent up to bear away the News; but MR. WAGSTAFFE do say they +were Nothing to the Pigeons left behind. The Race run in three Minutes, +but to think of the Money lost and won in that little Time! My LORD +EGLINTON and the Public, as I hear, do gain much, and the Ring and +Rogues do lose, which I am glad of. After the Race to a brave Lunch; but +the Gipsy Women and Children did come and beg Morsels out of our Plates, +which in the Midst of all the Luxury was a sorry Sight. Then about the +Course to see the Company and the Flinging at Snuff-Boxes, and the +Thimble-Rig, and some playing at Roulette and Hazard, but the Police did +seize and break several of the Tables, and take away the Stakes. Great +Sport returning Home, with the Shouting for the Winner, and trumpeting +on Horns, and tossing of Snuff-Boxes and Toys to the pretty Lasses at +the Windows. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PROSPECT OF GREENWICH FAIR._ + + TUESDAY, _May 29, 1849_.--WHIT-TUESDAY.] + + +Down the River with BROWNE to Greenwich to view the Fair. To the Park, +where young Fellows and Hoydens at Archery, Donkey Riding, playing at +Kiss-in-the-Ring, and running down the Hill, romping, tripping, and +tumbling over Head and Heels, with Shouting, Screaming, and Laughter. +Then down to the Fair, made in a narrow Space in the Town by a Couple of +Rows of Booths and Sweet-Meat and Toy-Stalls, with Raree Shows at the +farther End, and Swings and Roundabouts on the Outside. The Passage most +insufferably crammed; and we having to force our Way between Walls hung +with Dolls and gilt Ginger-Bread. The Stalls and Booths crowded also, +and the Tobacco Smoke rising from the Drinking Places like a Fog. Young +Prentice Blades and Shop-Boys pushing about with large Masquerade Noses, +and did entertain themselves more than me. But the chief Amusement of +these Roysterers and the frolicksome Wenches do seem to be scratching +People behind, with a Scraper, which is a notched Disk of Wood, that +turns on an Axle in a Mortise, with a Handle some six Inches long, and +being dragged down a Man's Back, do make him believe that his Coat is +torn, as I thought mine was, when first served so, which did trouble me. +With this Noise of continual Tearing, and the Squeaking of Tin Trumpets, +and blowing of Whistles, and half-a-dozen different Bands playing as +many Tunes, is altogether made a most discordant Musique; and the +Showmen bellowing to the Spectators to walk up, do increase the Babel. +Strange to see the Lads and Lasses, heaved up and down, over and under, +in the Swings, and to think what Pleasure they can take in such a +Motion, which methinks a Physician might prescribe in Lieu of a Sea +Voyage. With much Ado, to RICHARDSON'S Show, where a Tragedy, a Comic +Song and a Pantomime all in Half an Hour, and the Tragedy accompanied on +Whistles and Penny Trumpets by the Audience. But the best of the Fun +outside, between the Performances, with the Beef-Eaters' Band playing, +and the Show-Girls in their Spangles and Paint, dancing, and the Clowns +grimacing and flinging Summersets, and the Robber Chief standing in a +brave Posture in the Corner. Store of Fat Ladies, Wonderful Pigs, Giants +and Dwarfs to see, and Conjurors in Plenty, specially in the Crowd, +conjuring Handkerchiefs out of Pockets. In the Evening to the great +Dancing-Booth, which lighted up and hung with variegated Lamps, was, to +be sure, a pretty fine Sight. But the Company uproarious through Drink; +and yet the Dancing without Liveliness, being mostly that rogueish +Chin-and-Shoulder French Dance, gone heavily through. Here again that +perpetual Scraping, and they who sold the Scrapers, did cry, "All the +Fun of the Fair for 2d."; which was true. Home by the Railway Train, +wherein the tipsy Passengers bawling and singing the whole of the Way. +Methinks these Fairs do cause a Concourse of Rogues and bad Characters; +and the more good cheap Concerts abound, and Museums and Exhibitions are +opened to the Public, the less will the People frequent such Places as +Greenwich Fair. + + + + +[Illustration: _KENSYNGTON GARDENS WITH YE BANDE PLAYINGE THERE._ + + FRIDAY, _June 1, 1849_.] + + +In the Afternoon to Kensington Gardens, where a Band of the Guards do +play on this Day, and also on Monday throughout the Season, and draw +together a great Crowd of Fashionable Folks. The Tunes played mostly +Polkas and Waltzes, though now and then a Piece of Musique of a better +Sort; but the Musique little more than an Excuse for a Number of People +assembling to see and be seen. There all the World and his Wife; and she +in all her Finery. The Day very fair, and the Sun shining gloriously, +and the bright coloured Silks and Muslins at a Distance between the +Trees, did make a mighty pleasant Picture. But I got as near as I could +to gaze upon the Beauties, and am afraid that I did look too hard at +some; but they mostly smiled, and methinks they do not trick themselves +out so bravely to discourage Observation. To see them pacing to and fro +in such smart Attire, with their shewy pink, and green, and +Forget-me-not Blue Parasols, I could fancy they were the London +Fashions for June come out a walking. But many on Seats with tall +well-looking Gallants posted beside them, or bending down to converse +with them with vast Attention and Politeness, whereat they seeming +mightily pleased. Others standing in Groups here and there under the +Shade, and a great Throng of them round about the Musicians; but all +walking to and fro between the Tunes to show themselves. Many of the +Army among the Crowd, and strange, to compare them and others of our +Gentry, in Air and Manner, with one or two dingy Foreigners with their +stubbly Beards and ill-favoured Looks. The little fashionable Children +by the side of their Mammas elegant enough to see; but overdressed in +their Velvet and Plaid Tunics and Plumes of Feathers, and their Ways too +mincing and dainty, and looking as though they had stepped from out a +Band-Box. Methinks they do seem brought up to think too much of their +Outsides, and to look on Display and Show as the Business of their +Lives, which is a silly Schooling. I did mark some of their Mothers, old +enough to know better, bedizened like the young Beauties, but looking +sour and glum, and plainly ill at ease in their Pride and Vanity. But it +divert me much to compare the delicate Children with some Charity-School +Urchins on the other Side of the Wall that did anger the Park Keeper by +mocking him. I doubt me that the young Leatherbreeches be not the +happier as long as they can get a Bellyful of Victuals. The Company +doubtless enjoying themselves after their Fashion, but in general +looking marvellous grave; and strange to shut my Eyes between the Tunes +and to hear Nothing but the Rustling of Dresses and a Murmur of Voices +as they did walk up and down. It is wonderful how we English do go +through our Amusements after the Manner of a solemn Ceremony. Yet do the +people of Fashion in Kensington Gardens make an exceeding rare Show; and +I do only wish that there were no Reverse of the Picture to be seen +among us. But their Finery do afford Employment to Work-People, and I do +thank them for parading themselves for my Amusement, and the Officers of +the Guards for treating the Town to Musique, and so giving Occasion to +such a fine Spectacle. + + + + +[Illustration: _HYGHEST COURT OF LAW IN YE KYNGDOM. YE LORDS HEARYNG +APPEALS._ + + THURSDAY, _June 7, 1849_.] + + +Up, and to the House of Lords, where a Committee of Privileges touching +a disputed Peerage, but I did only go for a Sight of the Inside of the +House, well worth seeing; and the Carving, and Gilding, and Blazoning, a +rich Feast to the Eye. There present none but my LORD BROUGHAM and my +LORD CAMPBELL, and three or four other Lords, but a smaller Muster do +often serve for a Court of Appeal; for their Lordships do trust all +their Law Business to the Law-Lords' Hands. Counsel speaking at the Bar +of the House, and the Clerks of the House before them at the Table, all +in their Wigs very stately, but my Lords lolling on the Benches, free +and easy, they only having the Right to make themselves at Home, yet +droll to see the Officers of the House forced to stand, but some of them +leaning against the Stems of the gilt Candlesticks, fast asleep on their +Legs. Did think I should go to sleep too, if I stayed much longer, and +about to depart; but glad I did not; for presently the Counsel made an +End, and then my LORD BROUGHAM examining a Witness was almost the best +Sport that I ever had in my Life. The Witness, one of the Attornies for +the Claimant of the Title, and LORD BROUGHAM suspecting some Trickery in +the Case, and good Lack! how he did bait and ferret him to draw it out, +asking the most peremptory Questions, and sometimes a second before the +first could be answered, firking with Impatience like one smarting with +Stinging Nettles: which was great Mirth. It did well-nigh cause me to +laugh outright, and commit a Breach of Privilege, to hear him in a Fume, +echo the Witness's Answers, and cry Eh? What! How! Why? and Wherefore? +and demand how he could do this, or came not to do the other, and how +was that, and so forth, and then set his Memory right, next made a short +Speech, then give a little Evidence of his own, and again go back to the +Examination. It seemed that the Pretender to the Peerage had been helped +with Money to maintain his Suit by certain Persons, and my Lord did +strive to worm out of the Lawyer their End therein: but to no Purpose; +for he had met with his Match; so forced to content himself with a Quip +on the Chances of the Witness's Client. Then another Witness examined; a +Chirurgeon, whom LORD BROUGHAM did make merry with for his jolly +good-natured Looks, and did jest upon concerning his Vocation: and the +other did bandy Jokes with my Lord, and gave him as good as he brought. +Methinks such Bantering is strange of a Peer, and one that hath been +Lord Chancellor and used to sit on the Woolsack, or anywhere else but +the Box of an Omnibus. But strange, how sober a Speech in summing up the +Evidence my Lord did make after all; and no Doubt he can be reasonable +and quiet when he pleases. Save a few words from LORD CAMPBELL, not a +Syllable spoke but my LORD BROUGHAM; wherefore methinks he must have +been thoroughly happy, having had nigh all the Talk to himself. But the +highest Court of Law in the Realm numbering so few, put me much in mind +of the Army in _Bombastes Furioso_. + + + + +[Illustration: _THE FLOWER SHOWE AT CHYSYK GARDENS._ + + SATURDAY, _June 9, 1849_.] + + +My Wife holding me to my Promise to take her to the Chiswick Flower +Show, and I could not break it; for certainly the poor Wretch do drudge +in the House like a Slave; and so often as I go out for Pleasure myself, +methinks it were well to give her a Treat now and then, to ease my +Conscience, and keep her quiet also. So took her, though our two Tickets +together came to 10s., and we thither in an Omnibus, and the Fare +doubled on the Occasion, instead of 1s. cost me 2s. more, which made me +mad. A rare Sight, nigh the Gardens, to look out on the Line of +Carriages behind us, and methought how mean and paltry it seemed to be +riding in an Omnibus; and was in some Trouble lest any of our +acquaintance should be in the Carriages, and see us 'light. At the +Passage to the Gardens beset by Fellows with Shoe-Brushes and +Clothes-Brushes, importunate to brush my Coat and Boots, that were clean +enough, but only to earn 4d. or 6d. Our Tickets delivered, and we into +the Grounds with a Stream of Company, and followed them and our Ears to +a Band of Musique, the Horse Guards playing hard by a Grove of +Rhododendrons in full Bloom, and a Mob of Beauties round about them more +blooming still. Heard a Medley-Piece of Scraps of most of the Operas +that I knew; which was better Musique than I expected. Then to the +Tents, where the Prize-Flowers are shown, on high Stands as long as a +moderate-sized Barn: and there a pretty Display of Orchids, Azaleas, +Cactuses, Pelargoniums, and Heaths, very rare and curious, and a few +choice Roses; but I expected to see Roses as big as Cabbages. Many of +the Flowers finely variegated, and giving forth a Perfume sweeter than +ATKINSON his shop. Strange how to some of the Pelargoniums were given +the names of GRISI, ALBONI, MARIO, and other Opera Singers: and MR. +WAGSTAFFE do say it is Musique in a Flower-Pot. After seeing the +Flowers, to stroll about the Walks and among the Trees, and view the +Flowers without Stalks, which I do admire most of all, and a brave show +they were, drest out in their gayest, and smiling as if resolved to look +as pretty as they could; and looking all the brighter for the Sun +shining without a Cloud to be seen: whereby out of Pain for my Wife's +pink Bonnet, which, if spoiled by the Rain usual at this Show, had been +£2, 2s. gone. The Bands from Time to Time beat a March about the Garden; +when to see the fine Ladies and Gentlemen follow at the Soldiers' Heels, +natural as ragged Street-Children! At last all played together, and +ended with _God Save the Queen_; when the Flowers wheeled away. But the +Company remaining, some sitting on Benches to make a Lane, and the Rest +of the Multitude walking up and down to be seen, and the Beauties +showing off their Graces, which I did inspect from Head to Foot. My Wife +beginning to admire a certain Satin; so knowing what this signified, +away, and home to a Leg of Mutton; thinking of the State of the Nation, +which should not be so mighty gloomy to judge of it by Chiswick Flower +Show, and wondering how much all the Finery there cost, and where all +the Money could have come from. + + + + +[Illustration: _"SOCYETYE" ENJOYINGE ITSELFE AT A SOYRÉE._ + + FRIDAY, _June 15, 1849_.] + + +After a Dinner off Bubble and Squeak, my Wife and I to my LORD +WILKINSON'S At Home, by invitation; though Heaven knows if ever I set +Eyes on his Lordship in my Life or he on me; but do ascribe this Honour +to having my Name put down in the _Court Guide_, and am glad to find the +Consequence and Importance I have got thereby. I in my new Suit of Black +and Silk Neckerchief, with a Fringe at the Ends, and my Wife did wear +her Lace Dress over her pink Satin Slip, which was very handsome. Gave +our Card to a Lackey in Yellow and Crimson Livery, with a huge +Shoulder-knot, who did shout out our Name, which, passing along a Row of +his Fellows lining the Stairs, was by the Time it reached the +Drawing-Room changed to PIPPINS--but no matter; and so we were presented +to my Lord and my Lady. So on in the Crowd; for my Lord's Drawing-Room +as thronged as the Opera Pit Entrance on a Thursday Night. Methought +surely there was Something worth seeing and hearing; but saw nothing +extraordinary beyond the Multitude of Company, and divers Writers, +Painters, and other Persons of Note, elbowing their Way through the +Press; nor heard anything but Puffing and Gasping, and complaining of +the terrible Heat. Several Ladies fainting; and my Wife declaring she +feared she should faint too, which made me mad; for it is always the Way +with Women at Spectacles and Assemblies, and yet they needs must and +will go to them. At some Distance before us, a Bustle and Stir, and in +the midst of it a Lackey with a Tray, whereon were Ices--the People +struggling for them; and I also strove to get one for my Wife; but the +Attempt vain, and we borne clear away by the Current to the other side +of the Room. Some young Beauties there, whom to have looked upon at my +Ease, and they at theirs, would have been a great delight; but they in +such Discomfort, that it quite spoilt their Prettiness, which was +pitiful. We met DR. DABBES the great Chemist, with whom some pretty +Discourse concerning the Air of crowded Rooms, which he said do contain +a Gas called Carbonic Acid, and is poisonous, and we were now breathing +too much per Cent. of it, which did trouble me. To think what Delight +fashionable Folks can take in crowding together, to the Danger of +Health, a Set of People, for the most Part, Strangers both to them and +to one another! Away early; for we could endure the Stifling no longer: +and good Lack, what a Relief to get into the open Air! My white Kid +Gloves soiled, cost me 3s. 6d.; but am thankful I carried with me my +Spring Hat, which do shut up; and did chuckle to see how many others got +their Hats crushed. Home in a Cab, and on the Way bought a Lobster, +whereunto my Wife would have me add a Bottle of Stout, which did think a +good Notion; cost me together 3s. 6d., and the Cab 2s. 6d. more, and +then to Supper; mighty proud that I had been invited by my Lord, though +utterly tired with his Party, and so with great Satisfaction, but much +Weariness, to Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _A VIEW OF MR. LORDE HYS CRYKET GROUNDE._ + + MONDAY, _June 18, 1849_.] + + +This Day a great Cricket Match, Surrey against England, at LORD'S, and I +thither, all the Way to St. John's Wood, to see the Place, having often +heard Talk of it, and the Playing, which MR. LONGSTOPPE did tell me was +a pretty Sight. Paid 6d. to be let in, and 2d. for a Card of the +Innings, and bought a little Book of the Laws of the Game, cost me 1s. +6d. more, though when I had got it, could hardly understand a Word of +it; but to think how much Money I spend out of Curiosity, and how +inquisitive I am, so as to be vexed to the Heart if I cannot thoroughly +make out every Thing I see! The Cricketing I believe very fine; but +could not judge of it; for I think I did never before see any Cricket +since I was a little Varlet Boy at School. But what a Difference between +the Manner of Bowling in those Days, and that Players now use! for then +they did moderately trundle the Ball under-hand; but now they fling it +over-handed from the Elbow, as though viciously, and it flies like a +Shot, being at least Five Ounces and a Half in Weight, and hard as a +Block. I saw it strike one of the Batmen on the Knuckles, who Danced and +shook his Fist, as methought well he might. But to see how handy some +did catch it, though knocked off the Bat by a strong Man with all his +Force; albeit now and then they missing it, and struck by it on the +Head, or in the Mouth, and how any one can learn to play Cricket without +losing his front Teeth is a Wonder. The Spectators sitting on Benches in +a Circle, at a Distance, and out of the Way of the Ball, which was wise; +but some on a raised Stand, and others aside at Tables, under a Row of +Trees near a Tavern within the Grounds, with Pipes and Beer; and many in +the Circle also Smoking and Drinking, and the Drawers continually going +the Round of them to serve them Liquor and Tobacco. But all as quiet as +a Quaker's Meeting, except when a good Hit made, or a Player bowled out, +and strange to see how grave and solemn they looked, as if the Sight of +Men in white Clothes, knocking a Ball about, were Something serious to +think on. Did hear that many had Wagers on the Game, but doubt it, for +methinks there had been more Liveliness if much Betting, and Chance of +winning or losing Money. The Company very numerous, and among them some +in Carriages, and was glad to see so many People diverted, although at +what I could not tell. But they enjoyed themselves in their Way, +whatever that was, and I in mine, thinking how droll they looked, so +earnestly attending to a mere Show of Dexterity. I, for my Part, soon +out of Patience with the Length of the Innings, and the Stopping and +Interruption after each Run, and so away, more tired, I am sure, than +any of the Cricketers. Yet I do take Pride, as an Englishman, in our +Country Sport of Cricket, albeit I do not care to watch it playing; and +certainly it is a manly Game, throwing open the Chest, and strengthening +the Limbs, and the Player so often in Danger of being hit by the Ball. + + + + +[Illustration: _A RAYLWAYE MEETYNGE. EMOTYON OF YE SHAREHOLDERES AT YE +ANNOUNCEMENTE OF A DIVIDENDE OF 2-1/2d._ + + MONDAY, _July 2, 1849_.] + + +Comes MR. STAGGE to take me to the great Railway Meeting at a London +Tavern; and we up the Back Stairs to the Platform among the Directors, +and glad of so good a Place; but fearing to be taken for one of my +Company, did get behind a fat Man to hide myself. The Shareholders below +met to hear their Affairs debated, and what a Collection of wry and +doleful Faces! Methought the poor anxious Parsons and eager Half-pay +Officers among them was a pitiful Sight. Looked hard about for the +Railway King, but MR. STAGGE did say in my Ear he was not likely to show +his Face. The Secretary reading Bills to be brought into the Parliament +to join other Railways with this, and all the while interrupted by the +Shareholders with Noise and Outcries; but at last got through. Then the +Chairman did propose that the Bills be approved of; but an Amendment +moved with much Clapping of Hands that the Meeting do adjourn for one +Month to examine the Company's Accounts; which they do say have been +cooked. Upon this a long Speech from a Director, denying that it was so, +and One made answer to him in a bouncing, ranting Harangue; but to hear +how the Shareholders did shout and cheer whenever he accused the Board +of a Piece of Roguery! He complained that Proxy Papers had been sent out +by some for Votes, whereby to gain their own Ends, at £900 Expense to +the Company; whereat more Uproar, in the midst whereof he moved another +Amendment; when the Noise greater than ever, with Groans and calling for +Dividends; and several in the Meeting strove to speak, but could only +wag their Jaws and shake their Fists at the Chairman, and he imploring +Quiet in Dumb Show. Howbeit, one old Gentleman got Attention for a +Moment, and in great Wrath and Choler did declare that the Directors' +Statement was all Humbug. Then Another, with much ado to get a Hearing, +did move a third Amendment: and after that, more Wrangling and Jangling, +until the only Man of any Brains I had yet heard, up and showed the +folly of moving Amendment on Amendment. So the first and last Amendment +withdrawn, and the second put to the Vote, and lost, and then the +Chairman's Resolution put and lost also, and the Shareholders hooting +and hissing, and shouting "Shame!" and crying that they could not +understand the Question. So the Amendment and former Resolution both put +over again, and both again lost; whereupon the Shareholders stark mad, +and rushed in a Mob on the Platform, raving at the Chairman, who jumped +up in his Chair, throwing his Arms abroad, and shrieking for Silence; +till at last a Poll determined on to decide whether for Adjournment or +not; and so the Meeting brought to an End in as great a Hurly-Burly as I +ever heard; and a pretty Chairman methinks they have to keep Order, and +brave Directors to cook their Accounts, and their Meetings do seem as +confused as their Affairs; and thank my Stars, I have not sunk my Money +in a Railway. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PROSPECT OF YE THAMES ITS REGATTA._ + + TUESDAY, _July 10, 1849_.] + + +Sent my Vest to the Tailor's to be let out in the Back, and my Wife and +every Body say I grow too stout, which do put me in mighty Pain lest I +should lose my Shape; wherefore I have resolved to take a long Walk +daily, for Exercise, to bring down my Fat. So begin this Day, and set +out to walk to Barn-Elms, by the way of Hammersmith, on a brave melting +Afternoon. I did muse at the Carriages and Omnibuses that passed me, +crowded both inside and on the Roof, and the People upon them whooping +and blowing Horns, as the British Public always do when they ride to see +any Sport. At Hammersmith found what all this meant, everyone there +hastening to the River, this being the first Day of the Thames Regatta, +and the Suspension-Bridge thronged, and Festoons of Spectators on the +Chains. Did go upon the Bridge, cost me 1/2d. toll, but would not have +missed the Sight for 6d. or 1s.; for the Thames with Boats scattered all +over it, their Flags fluttering, and their Crews shouting and laughing +full of Fun and Glee, made a lively Picture; and also I was just in the +Nick of Time to see a Race; four Boats of as many Oars darting under the +Bridge at full Speed, while the Beholders cheered and halloaed with all +their Might, and a Bell rung, and a Band of Musique upon the Bridge Pier +did play "Love Not." Good Lack! how wrapped up the People did seem to be +in the Race, and did now cry for Blue to go it; and then Red, and then +Pink, and at last that Red had it, meaning the Colours of the Rowers, +which indeed looked very smart and spruce. Over the Bridge, and, instead +of to Barnes, down the River, along the Towing Path, which was also +thronged with Folks running to and fro, all Eagerness and Bustle. So to +Putney, and there the Multitude greatest both on the Bridge and the +Shore, and FINCH his Ground to the Water-Side quite a Fair, with Fat +Ladies and Learned Pigs and Gilt Gingerbread; and his Tavern beset by +Customers for Ale, and mighty good Ale it is. Here more Boat-Racing, +with Firing of Cannon, Jollity, Shouting, Jangling of Street Pianos, and +everywhere Tobacco-Smoke and the Popping of Ginger-Beer. Some fouling of +Barges, but no worse Mishap, though I expected every moment that +Somebody would be ducked. Methought how neat and dainty the light +Wherries and Wager-Boats did look among the other Craft; but loth I +should be to trust my Carcase in a Cockle-Shell, that sitting an Inch +too much on one side would overthrow. Mighty pleasant also to behold on +the Water the little Parties of Beauties, rowed by their Sweethearts, +under Awnings to shade them from the Sun, and the Ripple on the Water, +and the Smiles on their Faces, and to hear their Giggling, which was a +pretty Noise. Afloat everywhere in their Boating-Trim I did note sundry +of those young Sparks that do and think and talk of Nothing but pulling +up the River, and live upon it almost, like Swans or Geese. But, +however, that Boat-Racing is a true British Pastime, and so long as we +pull together he will back us against all the World. "And talking of +that," says he, "the Sport being ended, suppose we take a pull at some +of FINCH his Ale." + + + + +[Illustration: _A RAYLWAY STATYON. SHOWYNGE YE TRAVELLERS REFRESHYNGE +THEMSELVES._ + + TUESDAY, _July 31, 1849_.] + + +Prevailed upon by my Wife to carry her to Bath, as she said, to go see +her Aunt DOROTHY, but I know she looked more to the Pleasure of her Trip +than any Thing else; nevertheless I do think it necessary Policy to keep +in with her Aunt, who is an old Maid and hath a pretty Fortune; and to +see what Court and Attention I pay her though I do not care 2d. about +her! But am mightily troubled to know whether she hath sunk her Money in +an Annuity, which makes me somewhat uneasy at the Charge of our Journey, +for what with Fare, Cab-Hire, and Vails to DOROTHY'S Servants for their +good Word, it did cost me altogether £6, 2s. 6d. To the Great Western +Station in a Cab, by Reason of our Luggage; for my Wife must needs take +so many Trunks and Bandboxes, as is always the Way with Women: or else +we might have gone there for 2s. 6d. less in an Omnibus. Did take our +places in the First Class notwithstanding the Expense, preferring both +the Seats and the Company; and also because if any Necks or Limbs are +broken I note it is generally in the Second and Third Classes. So we +settled, and the Carriage-Doors slammed to, and the Bell rung, the Train +with a Whistle off like a Shot, and in the Carriage with me and my Wife +a mighty pretty Lady, a Frenchwoman, and I did begin to talk French with +her, which my Wife do not well understand, and by and by did find the +Air too much for her where she was sitting, and would come and take her +Seat between us; I know, on Purpose. So fell a reading the _Times_, till +One got in at Hanwell who seemed to be a Physician, and mighty pretty +Discourse with him touching the Manner of treating Madmen and Lunatics, +which is now by gentle Management, and is a great Improvement on the old +Plan of Chains and the Whip. Also of the Foulness of London for Want of +fit Drainage, and how it do breed Cholera and Typhus, as sure as rotten +Cheese do Mites, and of the horrid Folly of making a great Gutter of the +River. So to Swindon Station, where the Train do stop ten Minutes for +Refreshment, and there my Wife hungry, and I too with a good Appetite, +notwithstanding the Discourse about London Filth. So we out, and to the +Refreshment-Room with a Crowd of Passengers, all pushing and jostling, +and trampling on each other's Toes, striving which should get served +first. With much Ado got a Basin of Soup for my Wife, and for myself a +Veal and Ham Pie, and to see me looking at my Watch, and taking a +Mouthful by Turns; and how I did gulp a Glass of GUINNESS his Stout! +Before we had half finished, the Guard rang the Bell, and my Wife with a +start did spill her Soup over her Dress, and was obliged to leave Half +of it; and to think how ridiculous I looked, scampering back to the +Train with my Meat-Pie in my Mouth! To run hurry-skurry at the Sound of +the Bell, do seem only fit for a Gang of Workmen; and the Bustle of +Railways do destroy all the Dignity of Travelling; but the World +altogether is less grand, and do go faster than formerly. Off again, and +to the End of our Journey, troubled at the Soup on my Wife's Dress, but +thankful I had got my Change, and not left it behind me at the Swindon +Station. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE BRYTYSH GRANADIERS AMOUNTYNGE GUARD AT ST. JAMES HYS +PALACE YARDE._ + + WEDNESDAY, _August 1, 1849_.] + + +Up mighty betimes, and after a four Miles' Walk, losing Weight like a +Jockey, to the Palace Yard of St. James's Palace, to see the Soldiers +mount Guard to guard the QUEEN, which they do every Morning whether she +is there or no, and is a pretty pompous Ceremony. Found myself among as +dirty shabby a Set of Fellows hanging about as I think I ever saw, with +whom two or three with the Look of Gentlemen, and a pretty Sprinkling of +Milliner-Girls and Nurse-Maids. Strange how all Women almost do run +after Soldiers; which MR. PUMPKYNS do say is because Weakness do, by +Instinct, seek the Protection of Courage; but I think is owing to +nothing at all but the Bravery of a Red Coat. In a few Minutes more +Riff-Raff pouring in; then a Noise without of drumming: and then just at +1/4 to 11, a Party of the Grenadier Guards marching in under the +Clock-Tower, the Drums and Fifes in Front of them, and, at the Head of +all, the Drum Major, twirling his Staff, strutted like a Pouter-Pigeon, +as stately, almost, as ever I saw J. BLAND. The Men at the Word of +Command ground arms with a Clang, and stood at Ease in Lines, and +together with the Spectators made a Square, with the Drums and Fifes at +one End, and the Band at the other by the Clock-Tower, and a Post in the +Middle, and around the Post, with the Colours, the Officers in full +Figg, mighty trim; and MR. WAGSTAFFE do tell me that the Guards have +brave clothing Colonels. The Band did play while the Men that should +relieve Guard were marching off; and I do muse why Soldiers are provided +with so much Musique, and conclude it is to hinder them from thinking, +and also in Battle to inflame their Minds without making them drunk. At +five Minutes to the Hour comes the relieved Guard, and draws up ready to +be marched away, and to see them backing for Room on the Crowd's Toes! +Droll, also, to watch the Marshalman, in his grand Uniform and with his +Staff of Office, going about to make Space and keep Order among the +ragged Boys; and I remember how, in my Youth, I thought he was a General +Officer. More Musique, in the Meanwhile, by the Band; the Band-Master, a +rare plump Fellow, in goodly Condition, conducting, with a Clarionet for +his Batoon. Suddenly the Musique cut short by the Drums and Fifes, the +Word given, and the Men did fall in, and away to Barracks, a Grand March +playing, and all the Tag-Rag at their Heels. But to see the Lieutenant, +the Officer of the Day, set up the Colours on the Post, and touch his +Cap and kiss his Sword to them, saluting them, which do seem a senseless +Pantomime. Besides, the Flag, a most old and sorry one, blown into +Tatters, which, in our long Peace, must have been done by the Breeze and +not the Battle; but so left, with a Grenadier to guard it, sticking in +the Post. Then the Officer did dismiss the Off Guard, and away to his +Quarters for the Day. Methinks that mounting Guard at the Palace is a +Service of little Danger or Hardship; but, good Lack! to think what +Fire-eaters in Battle are the Dandy Officers of the Guards, and how +their Men will follow them through thick and thin, and what Work those +Fellows can do when called on, that play Soldiers about St. James's! + + + + +[Illustration: _A PROSPECT OF A FASHYONABLE HABERDASHER HYS SHOPE._ + + TUESDAY, _August 7, 1849_.] + + +Finding Fault with my Wife, for that she do not use enough Exercise; +whence her continual Headach, and FADDELL, the 'Potticary his bill of +£5. She replying that I would never take her out, I said I would, +whenever she liked; whereupon, we agreed to go a Walk forthwith, and my +Wife did propose Regent Street. So we thither, pleasing ourselves with +observing the Passers-by and the Carriages, and the Streets blazing with +fine Ladies and flaming Liveries. Going by LINDSEY AND WOOLSEY'S, my +Wife's Eye taken with a Scarf in the Window, and would stop to look at +it with a Crowd of other Women gazing at the Finery, which MR. SKITT do +call Baits, and a Draper's Shop a Lady-Trap. Presently she recollected +that she wanted a Collar; so we into the Shop, where some sixty or +eighty Ladies sitting before the Counters, examining the Wares, busy as +Blue-Bottle Flies at a Sugar-Cask. Behind the Counters the Shopmen and +Assistants, showing off the Goods, and themselves also, with mighty +dainty Airs, every one of them, almost, NARCISSUS his Image. One of +these dapper young Sirs did help my Wife to her Collar, cost 3s. 6d.; +when she thought she had better get another while about it, cost 3s. 6d. +more. Then, says he, in his soft condoling Voice, "What is the next +Article?" Hereupon, my Wife bethought her of lacking some Lace Cuffs, +four Pair: cost 12s. "And now, Mem," says the young Fellow with a +Simper, "allow me to show you a Love of a Robe, a Barège, Double Glacé, +brocaded in the Flouncings, and reduced to Twenty-One-and-Six from +Forty-Five." But she professed that she needed it not: whereat I was +glad; when he did tell her he would do it at One-and-Four less: and she +then saying that it was indeed a Bargain, which I find is a Woman's Word +for anything cheap whether wanted or no, I let her have it: cost £1, 0s. +2d. But, to be sure, the Pattern was pretty, and my Wife being +well-dressed do please my Taste, and also increase my Consequence and +Dignity. The Robe bought, it comes into her Head that she could not do +without a new Shawl to match it, blue and scarlet, cost £2, 2s., but +will look mighty fine, and, I hope, last. Here I thought to hale her at +once by Force away; but seeing a stout middle-aged Gentleman doing the +very Thing, and how mean it looked, did forbear; and in the Meanwhile +the Shopman did beg, as he said, to tempt her with a superior Assortment +of Ribbons. She rummaging over this Frippery, I to gaze about the Shop, +and with Fellow-Feeling did mark an unhappy small Boy, while his Mother +was comparing some three-score different Pieces of Satin, perched on a +Stool, out of Patience. My Wife would have 5s. worth of Ribbons, and +here I hoped would make an End; but the Shopman did exhibit to her some +Silk Stockings; and I telling her they were unnecessary, she declared +that then she must wear Boots, which she knows I hate; and concluded +with buying half a Dozen Pair, cost 24s.; and we away, bowed out of the +Shop with Congees by the smirking Shopwalker, rubbing his Hands and +grinning, as obsequious as could be; and so Home; I mighty serious, +having laid out £5, 10s. 2d.; and the next Time I take out my Wife for a +Walk, it shall be in the Fields and not in Regent Street. + + + + +[Illustration: _REGENTE STRETE AT FOUR OF YE CLOCKE, P.M._ + + THURSDAY, _August 16, 1849_.] + + +This Afternoon about Four of the Clock to Regent Street, and did walk up +and down, among the fine Folk mostly, many Foreigners, and a few Street +Urchins, and others of the lower Sort, and note the Carriages stand in +Front of the Shops, and the Walking Advertisement Boys and Men, and the +Cabs and Omnibuses go by, and the Advertising Vans, and mighty fine and +droll the Monster Advertising Car of MOSES AND SON the Tailors. In the +Evening to the Queen's House in the Haymarket, to hear MOZART his famous +Opera "_Le Nozze di Figaro_" and SONTAG in _Susanna_, which she do act +mighty skittish, and with the prettiest sidelong Looks, but the most +graceful and like a Lady, and do trip the Stage the daintiest and make +the nicest Curtsies, and sing the sweetest that methinks I ever did hear +or see: and to think that MR. VIEUXBOYS should tell me she do it as well +now as he did see her twenty Years ago! Pretty, to hear her sing +"_Venite inginocchiatevi_," where she do make _Cherubino_ kneel down on +the Cushion before the _Countess_, and put him on a Girl's Cap, and pat +his Chin and Face. Also her singing of "_Sull' Aria_" with PARODI, the +_Countess_, and the mingling of their Voices very musicall. Likewise +that jolly blooming she-BACCHUS-ALBONI, _Cherubino_, with her passionate +fine singing of "_Non so più_" and "_Voi che sapete_," did delight me +much; and she did play a stripling of a Page in Love to the very Life. +BELLETTI did mightily take me with his Knaveries, in _Figaro_, and +singing of "_Non più andrai_," which is a most lively and martial Song; +and the Grand March very brave as well, and did make my Heart leap, and +me almost jump out of my Seat. COLLETTI, too, the _Count_, did content +me much, and to the utmost with "_Crudel! perchè finora_." But then to +hear LABLACHE, what a great Thing he do make out of so small a Part as +_Bartolo_, with his Voice in the Concert-Pieces heard above all the +Rest, and thundering out "_La Vendetta_," like a musicall STENTOR; and +his undertaking of little Characters to make an Opera perfect is very +magnanimous; and MR. WAGSTAFFE do well say that he "_Ingentes Animos +ingenti in Pectore versat_," and have as much Brains as Body. Mighty +droll to hear the Quartett, with each Singer in turn holding the Voice +on the word "_Io_," called for three Times, and the Singers each Time +spinning "_Io_" out longer, whereat great Laughter; and the Performers +laughing as much as the Audience. Wonderfull how still all the House was +while SONTAG was a singing of "_Deh! vieni non tardar_," and the +_Bravas_ and Clapping of Hands when she had ended; and to hear how she +did stick to the Text, and not, like a vulgar silly _Prima Donna_, +disfigure noble Musique by ridiculous Flourishes. Home to Supper, it +being late, though, walking up the Haymarket, did sorely long for stewed +Oysters. Telling my Wife of the Opera, did speak of _Susanna_ boxing +_Figaro_ his Ears, and let out that I could have been glad to have her +box mine too, which my Wife did say she could do as well if I pleased; +but I said I had rather not, and so, whistling "_Non più andrai_," +rather small to Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _BLACKWALL. SHOWYNGE YE PUBLICK A DINYNGE ON WHYTEBAIT._ + + SATURDAY, _August 18, 1849_.] + + +Comes MR. GOLLOPE, this being his Birth-day, to bid me to go dine with +him and a Company of some Half-dozen of our Acquaintance, off Whitebait +at Blackwall. So we first to London Bridge, on Foot, walking for an +Appetite, and there took Water, and down the River in a Steam-Boat, with +great Pleasure, enjoying the Breeze, and the View of the Shipping, and +also the Prospect of a good Dinner. Landed at the Pier, and as fast as +we could to LOVEGROVE'S, where our Table engaged in the large Room. But +good Lack! to see the Fulness of the Place, every Table almost crowded +with eager Eaters, the Heaps of Whitebait among them, and they with open +Mouths and Eyes shovelling Spoonful after Spoonful into their Plates and +thence thrusting them five or six at a Time into their Chaps. Then, here +and there, a fat Fellow, stopping, out of Breath, to put down his Knife +and Fork, and gulp a Goblet of iced Punch, was mighty droll; also to +hear others speaking with their Mouths full. But Dinner coming, I cared +not to look about me, there being on Table some dozen different Dishes +of Fish, whereof the Sight did at first bewilder me, like the Donkey +between the Haystacks, not knowing which to choose; and MR. GOBLESTONE +do lament that at a Feast with Plenty of good Things he never was able +to eat his Fill of every one. A Dish of Salmon with India-Pickle did +please me mightily, also some Eels, spitchcocked, and a stewed Carp, and +ate heartily of them with much Relish; but did only nibble at the Rest +by way of a Taste, for I felt exceeding full, and methought I should +have no Stomach for the Whitebait. But Lack! to see when it came, how my +Appetite returned, and I did fall to upon it, and drink iced Punch, and +then at the Whitebait again. Pretty, the little Slices of brown Bread +and Butter, they did bring us to eat it withal, and truly, with a +Squeeze of Lemon and Cayenne Pepper, it is delicate Eating. After the +Whitebait plain, Whitebait devilled made us to eat the more, and drink +too, which we did in Champagne and Hock, pledging each other with great +Mirth. After the Fish comes a Course of Ducks, and a Haunch of Mutton, +and divers made Dishes; and then Tarts and Custards and Grouse; and +lastly, a Dessert, and I did partake of all, as much as I had a Mind to, +and after Dinner drank Port and Claret, when much Joking and rare +Stories, and very merry we were. Pretty to look out of Window as we sat, +at the Craft and the White Sails in the Sunset on the River. Back in a +Railway Carriage, shouting and singing, and in a Cab Home, where DR. +SHARPE called to see my Wife for her Vapours. Pretty Discourse with him +touching the Epidemic, he telling me that of all Things to bring it on +the likeliest was Excess in Food and Drink, which did trouble me, and so +with a Draught of Soda and a Dose of Pills to Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE SPORT OF PUNTE FYSHYNGE OFF RYCHMONDE._ + + WEDNESDAY, _August 22, 1849_.] + + +This Day to Richmond, to go a Fishing on the River, and with me MR. +ITCHENBROOKE, out of Hampshire, a cunning Angler, who did mightily +desire to see what this Sport should be. So first we out in a Boat below +Richmond Bridge, where a Dozen or more of Punts full of People a +Fishing, and rowed among them to observe the Manner of doing it, which +is sinking with a Gentle, sitting upon Chairs, and smoking Cigars and +Pipes of Tobacco, and drinking cold Brandy and Water. We did note one +young Spark lying at full Length, in a Punt's End, asleep, and did +conclude he had had enough of the Fishing, or else of the Grog. Some +very silent, and bent on their Sport, but others bandying Fun and Jokes, +and shouting for Joy and Merriment whenever they caught a Fish, which +MR. ITCHENBROOKE do say is not the Wont of a Sportsman. Among the +Fishers I did note with Wonder one or two Damsels; but MR. WAGSTAFFE do +say it is a common Thing for Ladies to fish for Gudgeons. Several of +them also quite old Men; but seeming as much taken up with their Fishing +as Schoolboys, though catching Nothing but little Fish not a Span long. +So, satisfied with looking at the Sportsmen, we to try the Quality of +the Sport ourselves, and did hire a Punt, and Fishing Tackle, and a Man +to guide the Punt, and bait our Hooks, and did take on board a +Stone-Bottle of Half-and-Half Beer, to follow the Fashion. Pretty, to +see our Man sound the Depth of the River with a Plumb, to resolve +whereabouts on our Lines to place the Float, and glad to have him to put +the Bait on, being Gentles, which I was loath to touch. Our Hooks no +sooner dropped into the Water than MR. ITCHENBROOKE did pull up a Fish +about the Bigness of a Sprat, though, but for the Punt-Man, he would +have thrown it in again, saying that he never heard of keeping any Fish +under Half-a-Pound, and that while such small Fry were killed there +would be no good Fish in the River. But Lack! to see how my Float did +bob up and down, and I jerk at my Line, but generally bring up a Weed. +Did marvel at the Punt-Man flinging Lumps of Earth and Meal into the +Water to entice the Fish, which methought would either have driven them +away or surfeited them, but did not, and the Trick did much divert MR. +ITCHENBROOKE. We did catch Roach and Dace to the Number of fifteen, +which my Companion did call seven Brace-and-a-Half; and I caught the +Half: I mean the Half Brace. Our Fishing did last two Hours, cost 3s., +and 6d. besides for the Beer, but we had much mirth for our Time and +Money, though little Fish, and yet more Fish than some our Man did show +us, saying they had been at it all the Day. So to Dinner at the Star and +Garter, where a most brave Dinner and excellent Wine, and pretty +Discourse with MR. ITCHENBROOKE of true Sport in Fishing and the Art of +Whipping for Trout with an Imitation Fly, made out of coloured Silk +Thread and Birds' Feathers. Our Dinner ended, cost me £1, 9s. 0d., went +and bought 6d. worth of Maids of Honour at the Pastrycook's, and did +take them Home to my Wife. + + + + +[Illustration: _TRYCKS OF YE LONDON TRADE._ + + TUESDAY, _September 4, 1849_.] + + +With my Wife this Day to Westminster, and walking thereabouts in +Regent-Street and Oxford-Street, and the principal Streets, though +contrary to my Resolution to walk with her only in the Fields, but did +it to please her, and keep her in good Humour, but in mighty Fear of +what it might cost me, trembling to observe her continually looking +askance at the Shop-Windows. But I cannot wonder that they did catch her +Eye; particularly the Haberdashers, and Drapers, and Mercers, whereof +many were full of Bills, stuck in all Manner of Ways across the Panes, +and printed in Letters of from two Inches to a Span long, and staring +Dashes of Admiration two and three together. In one Window posted a +"Tremendous Sacrifice!" in another an "Alarming Failure!!" in a third a +"Ruinous Bankruptcy!!!", by reason whereof, the Goods within were +a-selling off at 50, 60, or 70 per Cent. under prime Cost, but at any +Rate the Owners must raise Money. Good Lack! to think of the dreadful +Pass the Drapery Trade must have come to; so many Master-Mercers and +Haberdashers on the Threshold of the Prison or the Workhouse, and their +Wives and Families becoming Paupers on the Parish, or Beggars, and their +People out of Employ starving; if their notices do tell true. But my +Wife did say, very serious, that we were not to judge, or to know of +their Tricks and Cozenage, and, that it was no Matter to us if they did +cheat their Creditors, provided we could buy their Wares at a Bargain, +and besides, if we did not, others would. So going by RAGGE, RIP & CO., +their Establishment, as they do call their Shop, she would needs stop in +Front of it to look in; which did trouble me. I to read the Posters in +the Window, which were the worst and most pitiful of any, and by their +showing MR. RAGGE and MR. RIP, and their CO. were going altogether to +the Dogs. My Wife did presently, as I expected, find somewhat she had a +Mind to: a Muslin she did say was Dirt-cheap, and I knew was Dirt-worth. +I plainly refused to let her buy it, or anything else at RAGGE and +RIP'S, who have been, to my knowledge, making a Tremendous Sacrifice any +Time the last two Years; but the Simpletons their Customers the only +Victims. But I pity not a Whit such Gudgeons as are caught by these +Tricks of the Drapery Trade; rightly served by being cheated in seeking +to profit, as they think, by Fraud and dishonest Bankruptcy. I told my +Wife that RAGGE and RIP do sell off at a Loss to none but those that +deal with them, and were like at that Moment, instead of being +Bankrupts, to be making merry at the Expense of their Dupes. But she +being sullen at my Denial of her Muslin, I did quiet her by the Promise +of a better Piece at FAIRCLOTH and PRYCE'S, who do carry on Business +without rogueish Puffery, and after the old Fashion of English Traders, +according to the Maxim, that "Good Wine needs no Bush," which my Wife, +poor silly Wretch, not understanding, I explained to her did mean, that +stuffs worth the buying, to find a Sale, do stand in no need of +Haberdashers' trickish Advertisements. + + + + +[Illustration: _MADAME TUSSAUD HER WAX WERKES. YE CHAMBER OF HORRORS!!_ + + WEDNESDAY, _September 5, 1849_.] + + +To please my Wife, did take her this Evening to MADAME TUSSAUD her Wax +Works; a grand large Room, with Gilding, lighted up very splendid: cost +2s., and a Catalogue 6d. The Wax Figures showy: but with their painted +Cheeks and glassy Eyes--especially such as nod and move--do look like +Life in Death. The Dresses very handsome, and I think correct; and the +Sight of so many People of Note in the Array of their Time, did much +delight me. Among the Company Numbers of Country Folk, and to see how +they did stare at the Effigies of the QUEEN, and the PRINCE, and the +DUKE OF WELLINGTON, and the KING OF THE BELGIANS, and the PRINCESS +CHARLOTTE that was, and GEORGE THE FOURTH in his Coronation Robes, grand +as a Peacock! The Catalogue do say that his Chair is the very one +wherein he sat in the Abbey; but it look like a Play-House Property, and +little thought the King where it would come down to figure! A Crowd of +Dames gazing at the Group of the Royal Family, calling the Children +"Dears" and "Ducks," and would, I verily believe, have liked to kiss +their Wax Chaps. My Wife feasted her Eyes on the little Princes and +Princesses, I mine upon a pretty, modest, black Maid beside me, and she +hers on me, till my Wife spying us, did pinch me with her Nails in the +Arm. Pretty, to see the Sovereign Allies in the last War, and bluff old +BLUCHER, and BONAPARTE and his Officers, in brave Postures, but stiff. +Also the two KING CHARLESES, and OLIVER, together; CHARLES THE FIRST +protesting against his Death-Warrant, and his Son Backing him; and +CARDINAL WOLSEY looking on. LORD BYRON in the Dress of a Greek Pirate, +looking Daggers and Pistols, close to JOHN WESLEY preaching a Sermon; +and methought, if all MADAME TUSSAUD'S Figures were their Originals +instead, what Ado there would be! Many of the Faces that I knew very +like; and my LORD BROUGHAM I did know directly, and LISTON in _Paul +Pry_. But strange, among the Kings to see him that was the Railway King; +and methinks that it were as well now if he were melted up. Thence to +the NAPOLEON Rooms, where BONAPARTE'S Coach, and one of his Teeth, and +other Reliques and Gimcracks of his, well enough to see for such as care +about him a Button. Then to the Chamber of Horrors, which my Wife did +long to see most of all; cost, with the NAPOLEON Rooms, 1s. more; a Room +like a Dungeon, where the Head of ROBESPIERRE, and other Scoundrels of +the great French Revolution, in Wax, as though just cut off, horrid +ghastly, and Plaster Casts of Fellows that have been hanged: but the +chief attraction a Sort of Dock, wherein all the notorious Murderers of +late Years; the foremost of all, RUSH, according to the Bill, taken from +Life at Norwich, which, seeing he was hanged there, is an odd Phrase. +Methinks it is of ill Consequence that there should be a Murderers' +Corner, wherein a Villain may look to have his Figure put more certainly +than a Poet can to a Statue in the Abbey. So away again to the large +Room, to look at JENNY LIND instead of GREENACRE, and at 10 of the Clock +Home, and so to Bed, my Wife declaring she should dream of the Chamber +of Horrors. + + + + +[Illustration: _DEERE STALKYNGE IN YE HYGHLANDES._ + + MONDAY, _September 17, 1849_.] + + +Comes MR. GOLLOPE, and MR. GOBLESTONE, and JENKYNS, to dine with me off +a Haunch of Venison, and MR. MC. NAB calling, I did make him stay Dinner +too, and the Venison very fat and good; and MR. GOLLOPE did commend my +Carving, whereof I was proud. Between them a Debate over our Dinner, as +to whether the Red Deer or the Fallow Deer were the better Venison, and +both MR. GOLLOPE and MR. GOBLESTONE do say the Fallow, but MR. MC. NAB +will have it that the Red is by far the better, and do tell them they +know nothing about the Matter, and never tasted Red Deer but such as had +been mewed up in Richmond Park, which are mighty different from them +that do browse in the Highlands on the Heather. He do say that Highland +Deer-Stalking do excel every other Sport, from Tiger-Hunting to +Fox-Hunting, which I mean to repeat to MR. CORDUROYS to make him mad. +Then he to describe the Manner of Stalking the Deer, and his Account +thereof mighty taking, but, with his broad Scottish Accent and Phrases, +droll; and good Lack, to hear him talk of Braes, and Burns, and Cairns, +and Corries, rattling the R in every Word! He says that the Deer are the +cunningest and the watchfullest, and can see, and hear, and smell at the +greatest Distance of any Creature almost living, and do keep Spies to +look out, and their Ears and Eyes always open and their Noses to the +Wind, and do think and reason in their Minds like human Beings; which, +methinks, is peculiar to the Scotch Deer. He says that the Sport is to +fetch a Compass on them by Stratagem, so as to approach or drive them +nigh enough to shoot them with a Rifle, and it do often take some Hours +and several Miles, mostly crawling on the Hands and Knees, to get one +Shot. He says that the Stalker and Hill-Keepers that wait on him must, +to gain their Chance, dodge, stooping behind Crags, wriggle and creep +over Flats and up Brooks like Snakes or Eels, clamber up and run down +Precipices, and stride over Bogs, wherein they do sometimes sink plump +up to the Middle; which should be rather Sport to the Stag than the +Huntsman. But after all, the Deer shot dead, or wounded, and at Bay with +the Hounds at his Throat, but despatched at last, and paunched, which he +do call "gralloched," is such a Triumph that it do repay the Sportsman +for all his Pains. He do say that what with the Grandeur of the +Mountains, and the Freshness of the Air, the Spirits are raised beyond +what we could imagine, and the Appetite also increased wonderfully; +whereat MR. GOLLOPE did prick up his Ears. To conclude, he did declare +that no one could know what Deer-Stalking was that had not tried it; but +methinks I can, remembering how I used in my Youth to creep in Ditches +and behind Hedges to shoot Larks. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PROSPECT OF AN ELECTION._ + + THURSDAY, _September 27, 1849_.] + + +Up, and by Railway with MR. WAGSTAFFE to Guzzleford to my COSIN PEG her +Wedding, and heard the Bells a ringing at 9 o'clock, the Marriage not to +be till 11, but found they were rung for an Election; 'SQUIRE CALLOW and +MR. FAIRPORT standing for County Members in the Room of MR. BROWNJOHN. +So, the Wedding over, we about the Town to see the Fun. A Fellow the +worse for Beer demanding whose Colours we wore, meaning our +Wedding-Favours, MR. WAGSTAFFE did pleasantly answer, HYMEN'S, whereupon +the Fellow, crying "CALLOW for ever!" did rush full at us, but, we +parting, slip between us and tumble headlong into the Mud. Good Lack! to +see what Numbers of Ragamuffins everywhere with their Hats awry, Noses +bleeding, or Eyes blacked, staggering under huge Placard Boards, +whereon, in great Letters, "CALLOW and Agriculture," or, "Vote for +FAIRPORT and Commerce!" The Windows and Balconies full of Ladies, some +pretty, to whom in my Wife's Absence I did kiss my Hand. But to think +of the Ladies wearing the Colours of the Candidates, Blue and Yellow, +but only for an Excuse to deck themselves out with Ribbons! In the +Streets, Horsemen galloping to and fro, to tell the State of the Polls, +and the Mob cheering and bantering them, mighty droll. 'SQUIRE CALLOW +did put up at the Barley-Mow, and MR. FAIRPORT at the Rising Sun, and +between the two Inns, with a few plump rosy Farmers in Top-Boots, was a +noisy Rabble, quarrelling and fighting, with Skins unwashed, and unshorn +Muzzles, whom the Candidates' Committee-Men, speaking to them from the +Windows, did call Free and Independent Electors. To some that harangued +them, the Mob did cry, "Go Home," and "Who cheated his Washerwoman?" or, +"How about the Workhouse Beef?" yet listened to a few that were familiar +and cracked old Jokes with them. Presently they addressed by the +Candidates in Turn; and nasty to see them pelt each Speaker with stale +Eggs. But to hear, as well as might be for the Shouting and Hissing, +'SQUIRE CALLOW promising the Farmers to restore the Corn Laws, and +laying the Potato Blight and late Sickness to Free Trade; while MR. +FAIRPORT did as loudly charge all the Woes and Grievances of the Country +on the Landlords. By-and-by, MR. FAIRPORT, the Poll going so much +against him, did give in, and then 'SQUIRE CALLOW come forward, and make +a brave Speech about our Glorious Institutions and the British Lion, and +so away to have his Election declared, to the Town Hall, in a Carriage +and Four, and the Rabblement after him. Then they left behind did set to +on both Sides to fling Stones, and 'SQUIRE CALLOW'S Mob did break the +Windows of the Rising Sun, and MR. FAIRPORT'S the Windows of the +Barley-Mow; which the Townsmen did say would be good for the Glaziers, +and MR. WAGSTAFFE do observe that the Conservative 'SQUIRE CALLOW hath +destructive Constituents. What with Publicans, and Lawyers, and Damage, +the Election will cost the Candidates £6000 or £7000 a-Piece, and to +think what a good Motive one must have to become a Parliament-Man, that +will spend so much Money for the Chance of a Seat. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PARTIE OF SPORTSMEN OUT A SHUTYNGE._ + + MONDAY, _October 1, 1849_.] + + +Up mighty betimes, and to Brushwood for a Day's Shooting, by Invitation +from MR. TIBBITTS, whose Father, the rich Furrier, did die the other +Day, and leave him a Fortune, and now he hath rented Brushwood Manor to +shoot over for the Season. But Lack, what a set of young Rogues I found +there of TIBBITTS his Acquaintance, a-smoking of Cigars and short Pipes, +and a-drinking of Ale and bottled Stout at 10 o'clock of the Morning! +Mighty ashamed of, though diverted with, my Company, to hear their loose +and idle Conversation, and how none of them could pronounce the letter +H, and to think what an unlettered vulgar Fellow TIBBITTS is, and that I +should demean myself to associate with such a Companion only because of +his Riches, and Wine, and Dinners. One of the Party, WIGGYNS, did tell +me we should have a prime Lark, which, this being the first Day of +Pheasant-Shooting, I did think droll; but divers Larks, indeed, were +shot before the Day was over. So we into the Fields, and a Keeper +following us with the Dogs, and, whenever I did look over my Shoulder, +did catch him grinning and making Faces behind our Backs. But strange, +to see how much better the Rogues did shoot than I expected, though +firing at Tom-Tits, or anything almost, and do understand they got this +Skill at the Red House, Battersea, through popping at Pigeons and +Sparrows let loose from a Trap; which do seem but a cruel and a +barbarous kind of Sport. But little Birds were not all they shot, for +one HIGGES aiming at a Hare did miss, and instead of the Hare hit one of +the Dogges, and sent him yelping and limping Home. But good Lack, to see +how careless the Fellows were with their Fire-Arms, carrying their Guns, +full-cocked, pointing right in one another's Faces, and one, dragging +his Piece through a Hedge after him, it went off, but finding it had +only carried off the Skirt of his Shooting-Coat, we had a good Laugh of +it. Another, with a double-barrelled Gun, having shot off one Barrel at +a Blackbird, I did see reloading; the other Barrel being still loaded +and at full Cock. He, forcing down the Ramrod with all his Might, I did +catch him by the Elbow, and point to the Cock of the Gun, and methinks I +did never see a Man on a Sudden tremble so terribly, or grow so pale. +Getting beyond Brushwood, into a Field hard by, MR. WIGGYNS did let fly +at some Ducks, for one of those Larks he had been talking of, which did +bring down upon us the Farmer, with his Bull-Dog, and cause us to make +off with all the Speed we could. I in mighty Dread of being seized as an +Accomplice in shooting the Duck, fearing the Farmer, who is horridly +enraged with the Game-Preserving at Brushwood, for that the Game do eat +up his Crops; and, truly, the Game Laws are a great Nuisance. Home from +our Shooting, with our Bag, carried by TIBBITTS his Tiger-Boy, very +full, with a Brace or two of Pheasants and Partridges, but many more +Brace of Chaffinches, and Yellow-Hammers, and Robin Redbreasts, and so +to Dinner, where all very merry, and so to Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE WYNE VAULTS AT YE DOCKS. SHOWYNGE A PARTYE TASTYNGE._ + + THURSDAY, _October 11, 1849_.] + + +To the Docks, to meet MR. SOKER, and go over the Wine Vaults with a +Tasting-Order, and taste the Wine there before it hath undergone any +Roguery for the Market. Found there SOKER, and MR. WAGSTAFFE, and +SWILBY, and SWYPE, and SHARPE, and with them MR. GOODFELLOWE, who had +gotten SOKER the Order. First to the Quay, heaped with Barrels of Wine, +and one huge Barrel, they did tell me, holding 625 Gallons, hoisted +ashore, MR. WAGSTAFFE did say, by an Adjutant, or Gigantic Crane. Then, +through all Manner of Casks and Tubs, and Bales of Merchandise, to St. +Katherine's Dock, and down to the Vault, where a Cooper forthwith did +wait on us with a Couple of Glasses, and gave each Man a flat Stick with +a Lamp at the farther End, to see our Way. The Vault almost quite dark, +only lighted by Sconces from the Roof, and the farthest Sconce looking +half-a-mile off, and all this Space full of Barrels of Wine! The Roof +supported by Rows of Columns; and the Vault altogether like the Crypt of +a vast Cathedral, but sweeter; the Air smelling of Wine very strong, +which alone did make me feel giddy. Strange to see the Mildew hanging +in all Sorts of Forms from the Roof, which many do mistake for Cobwebs, +but some call Fungus, and DR. LIMBECK, the Chymist, do tell me is mostly +Nitrate of Lime. The Cooper did lead us to the Wine we were to taste, +and pretty to see him tap the Barrel by boring a Hole in it with a +Gimlet. We did drink, all round, a good Ale-glass each of excellent +Sherry, all except MR. SHARPE; and I did wonder to see him taste the +Wine, and call it rare good Stuff, and yet spit it out, but found by and +by that he was wise. Next, to the London Dock; and MR. GOODFELLOWE did +give us Biscuit, and recommend us to eat, and I did take his advice, and +glad I did. Here, more Curiosities in Mildew, hanging from the Roof; and +one a Festoon as big as the great Sausage in the Pork-Shop at the Corner +of Bow Street. A good Story from the Cooper, of a Visitor that took a +Specimen of the Mildew away in his Hat, and with the Moisture of his +Head, it melted and blackened his Face, and served him right, that--like +more than enough Sight-Seers--could not keep his Hands from Picking. To +several Vaults, and tasted Wine in each; all very vast, but the East +Vault the biggest, and do contain more thousand Pipes, and cover more +Acres than I doubt, by Reason of the Wine I drunk, I can remember. By +this Time, our Party very jolly and noisy, and did begin to dance and +sing, and flourish their Lamps like Playhouse Devils; and methought I +did see the Meaning of the Notice outside, that Ladies could not be +admitted after 1 o'Clock. Coming into the open Air, could scarcely +stand; and MR. GOODFELLOWE did see them into Cabs, and I home on +Foot--straight as I could go--and my Wife wondering at the Redness of my +Nose. Good Lack! to see the Quantity of Goods and Wine in the Docks; and +to think what a great and mighty Nation we are, and what Oceans of +Liquor we do swill and guzzle! + + + + +[Illustration: _A WEDDYNGE BREAKFASTE._ + + MONDAY, _October 22, 1849_.] + + +Up, and to Church together with my Wife, to see PALL HARLEY married this +Morning to DICK BAKER; on both Sides mighty genteel People, and their +Guests, all except ourselves, such as they do call Carriage-Company. +PALL, in a Dress of White Satin, and Orange Flowers in her Hair, very +pretty and demure, and DICK, wearing a Sky-Blue Coat, Crimson Velvet +Waistcoat, Yellow Moleskin Trousers, and Japanned Boots; with Lavender +Kid Gloves, and a Carbuncle in his Shirt-Front, a great Buck. DICK and +every Man of us with great White Favours at our Breasts, mighty +conspicuous and, methought, absurd, the Things serving neither for Use +nor Ornament. But to see how grand were old fat MR. HARLEY and MR. +BAKER, and how more grand were their fat Wives, and how fine and serious +they looked and how high they carried their Noses! And when the Ring was +put on PALL'S Finger (DICK first having fumbled for it in the wrong +Pocket), her Mother did weep, and falling for stay on MR. HARLEY, nigh +overthrew him. But the pretty modest Bridesmaids did most of all take +me; which my Wife observing, I saw, did trouble her. The Ceremony over, +and the Fees paid, and the Bride kissed by some of the old Gentlemen, we +to old HARLEY'S to Breakfast, where what WIGGYNS do call a Grand Spread, +very fine both for Show and Meats, every Dish ornamented with Flowers +and Gimcracks, the cold Chickens trimmed with Ribbons, and the +Bride-Cake, having upon it Wax CUPIDS and Turtle-Doves, was pretty. So +down we sat, DICK stiff and sheepish, and PALL also, shamefaced, and +trying to hide her Blushes with a Nosegay. PALL'S Mother in Tears, and +her Father solemn, and the Bridesmaids mostly bashful, but a little +black one that sate by me very merry, and I did by-and-by pull Crackers +with her, till my Wife suddenly thrust a Pin into my Arm, to the Quick. +The Company first silent, till a Friend of the young Pair, who did say +he had known them both from Babies, did propose their Health in a pretty +pathetic but confused Speech, and breaking down in the Midst of a +Sentence, conclude by wishing them long Life and Happiness, with great +Applause. Then the Bride-Groom to return Thanks, but, perplexed with his +Pronouns, obliged to stop short too, but, he said, overcome by his +Feelings. The Champagne flowing, we soon merrier, especially an old +Uncle of DICK'S who began to make Jokes, which did trouble the Bride and +Bride-Groom. But they presently with much Crying and Kissing, and +Shaking of Hands, away in a Coach-and-Four, amid the Cheering of the +Crowd in the Street and the Boys shouting to behold the fine Equipage; +and Servants and old Women looking on from the opposite Windows. We +eating and drinking with great Delight till late in the Afternoon, but +at last broke up, the Multitude saluting us each as we stepped into the +Street, and the Policeman and Beadle that were guarding the Door in +great State, touching their Hats. A grand Marriage Breakfast do give a +brave Treat to the Mob, in Show, and to the Company in Eating and +Drinking, and is great Fun to all but those most concerned. But to think +what a Fuss is made about most Marriages, and how little Reason for it +is shown by most People's married Life. + + + + +[Illustration: A THEATRE, SHOWYNGE YE HOUSE AMUSED BY YE COMYCKE ACTOR. + + FRIDAY, _October 26, 1849_.] + + +To the old House in the Market, where I would fain have seen _Macbeth_, +for the Acting as well as the Divertisement; but this not the Night, so +went Half-Price, and did see the _Unpolished Gem_, instead. TOUCHSTONE +did play _Brother Dick_, a Country Clown, and his Figure, in a Coat +short in the Waist, a huge striped Waistcoat, Trousers too big for him +tucked up at the Ankles, Hob-Nail Boots, and a great ill-shaped Hat, +mighty droll, and did move the People to clap their Hands and laugh the +Moment he come on the Stage. Then did he take off his Hat, and show a +red-cropped Head, and smooth down his Hair, and make a Face upon the +Audience, whereat they did laugh again, and then turning round show them +a Back View of himself, which made them laugh the more. Still greater +Laughter the Moment he opened his Mouth, and I did laugh too, as much as +any, though I heard not what he said; but only for the Oddness of his +Voice, which is such that methinks I could not keep my Countenance to +hear him, even if he were speaking _Hamlet_. Mighty droll to see him in +a fine House make himself at Home after the Fashion of a Bumpkin, and +hear him in his rustical Drawl and Twang relate all the News and Tattle +of his Village. What with his clodhopping Gait, and Awkwardness, and +Independence, and Impudence, he did make, methinks, the veriest Lout I +did ever see, even in Hampshire. His politeness even droller than his +Rudeness, and his Ploughboy Courtesy of kissing his Hand as comical as +could be. But I know not well whether I do more prefer his Cocknies or +his Clowns; for methinks I have seen him do a Snob as well as a +Clodpole, and he is very good in both, whether a rustical Booby or a +Whippersnapper Spark; and do use V for W, and misuse or drop his H, and +talk the Flash and Cant of the Town mighty natural. But to think how we +English People do take Delight in everything that is ridiculous; and how +I have seen a Theatre ringing with Merriment at the Sight of TOUCHSTONE +in a Paper Cap and Apron, with a Baker's Tray, and a Bell, crying +"Muffins!" or eating with his Mouth full; or even putting his Arms +a-Kimbo, or pulling his Hat over his Eyes, and some of the Audience, and +myself too, in Fits almost with Laughter. Methinks that Foreigners are +wrong to suppose that we are a melancholy People, and would give up this +Notion if they could see us at a broad Farce, and how easily we are +pleased, and what Straws will tickle us almost to Death. Home, my Sides +aching by Reason of TOUCHSTONE'S Drolleries, and truly he do make a +mighty excellent roguish Buffoon. So to Bed mimicking TOUCHSTONE his +Voice to my Wife, which did divert her mightily. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PROSPECTE OF YE ZOOLOGICAL SOCIETYE ITS GARDENS. +FEEDYNGE YE BEASTS._ + + MONDAY, _October 29, 1849_.] + + +To the Zoological Gardens, in the Regent's Park, at 3 p.m., in Time to +see the Otter fed with live Fishes, which he do chase round his Basin in +the Water, and dive after mighty clever. Then to the Wild Beasts, +hungry, in a terrible Rage, as I have seen others than Wild Beasts +waiting for Dinner. Some of the Dens with Trees in them for the Beasts +to climb in; Lions, old and young, Lionesses, He and She Tigers, a +Jaguar, an Ounce, a Cheetah, a Spotted and Black Leopard: and on the +other side Hyænas, and Pumas, and more Leopards, and Bears. Their +Yelling and Howling for Hunger a most horrid Musique, while the Tigers +rear on their hind Legs, and dash at their Bars, and grin and glare at +the Children outside. The Ramping and Roaring doubled when the Keeper +come with the Meat, and Lack! how they did fly at it with Teeth and +Claws, and howl and snort over it, and munch and crunch the Bones! But +one Hyæna droll, the Keeper passing him by, and he, thinking he was to +go without his Meal, throwing himself on his Back, and moaning, and +crying in Despair. Pretty, to see the Bears in their Pit climb up their +Post for Buns; which the Visitors did hold to them on the End of a long +Stick, and them below fighting for the Morsels that fell; and their +Clumsiness, and awkward Standing on their hind Legs. The White Bear, +also, swimming in his Tank, pleasant, I being on the outside of his +Cage. A fine old Wolf and Cubs, but snarling and snapping over their +Victuals, seemed not a Happy Family. Saw the Eagles and Vultures Prey, +treading on their Meat, and tearing it up with their Beaks; the Eagles +brave, but the Vultures look ignoble. Yet fine the Great Condor Vulture, +when the Wind blew, stretching forth his Wings upon it; and glad, no +doubt, would have been to sail away. The Parrots gay; but so shriek and +squall, that their Abode do seem the Madhouse of the Place. Much taken +with the Seal swim in the Water, and waddle out on his Stomach with his +Tail and Flappers, like a Fellow with his Legs tied for a Wager. +Diverted by the Gambols and Antics of the Monkeys and Apes: yet ashamed +to see such vile Likenesses of ourselves: and the Apes especially; and +the Crowd of Women and Ladies gazing at them! With Pleasure, yet Horror, +did view the Snakes and Lizards in the Reptile House, and glad they +could not get at me; but hoped to see the Boa Constrictor swallow a live +Rabbit: but did not. Bought Gingerbread Nuts to feed the Elephant, cost +me 2d. and he did please me, but I wished he had been bigger; but the +Rhinoceros did give me great Delight, and with Mirth heard a Countryman +standing by, call him the Hog in Armour. The Bison, with his huge shaggy +Head and Mane, Horns, and fiery Eyes, do look the most like a Demon I +ever did see. To the Camel-Leopards, graceful Creatures; after the Bison +and Rhinoceros. Then about the Gardens to watch the People and the +Children stare at, and feed and poke the Animals. Did mark some pretty +Damsels, and, having done gazing at the Beasts, gaze at them. So Home, +and described to my Wife what I had seen, except the Damsels, and did +discourse with her of Natural History; which the Zoological Gardens do +breed a pretty Taste for among the People. + + + + +[Illustration: _WESTMINSTER HALL, SHOWYNGE YE CEREMONYE OF OPENYNGE +TERME._ + + FRIDAY, _November 2, 1849_.] + + +Up, and by Appointment to MR. WAGSTAFFE'S, and so with him to +Westminster Hall, to see my LORD CHANCELLOR and the Judges, after +Breakfast with my Lord, this being the first Day of Michaelmas Term, +open the Law Courts in State, in their Robes and Wigs. We there at 12, +the Hour set for the Ceremony, but, we found, only for the Beginning of +it by Breakfast, which had we thought of, we had taken our Time, as +knowing that my Lords would be sure to take theirs. So clear that we +must have Patience, MR. WAGSTAFFE did say, like many besides us in +Westminster Hall. So out to look at the New Houses of Parliament, and +how the Masons speed with the Building, which will be mighty fine when +it is done, and MR. TRANSOM do commend the Style, and I too, both for +the Proportions and also for the Heraldry and Lions. Then back again to +the Hall, where now a few more People; and presently comes marching in a +Party of Policemen, large enough to have taken up all present, and yet +hardly have had one Prisoner a-piece; But the Numbers did by Degrees +increase, and were, I did note, mostly of the better Sort; thank the +Police. Among them divers Barristers-at-Law, some with their Sisters, +some with their Wives, or such as did seem like to be their Wives, many +of whom mighty comely Damsels, and were a Sight I never expected, not +thinking they could care for Law Matters, or to see the Judges, 2d.; but +strange how Women do flock to every Concourse, whether it be to see or +only to be seen. There for the first Time I did behold MR. TOMKYNS, the +young Barrister, in his Wig, wherein he do look mighty sedate, and I +telling him I hoped he would come to open Term himself, made answer as +it might be some while first, he wished I might live to see it. The +people now crowding about the Doors of the Courts, the Police did make a +Lane between them for my LORD CHANCELLOR and the Judges to walk down, +and MR. WAGSTAFFE did call it Chancery Lane. My Lords still not coming, +he did observe that now we had a Sample of the Law's Delay, and did +pleasantly lay the Lateness of the Breakfast to the Account of the +MASTER OF THE ROLLS. But they at last come, and we opposite the Court of +Common Pleas got a good View of them to my Heart's Content. First comes +the Mace, and a gentleman in his Court Suit, wearing a Sword and Bag, +and with them the Great Seal; then my LORD CHANCELLOR, and did walk down +to his Court at the end of the Hall, looking the better of his Sickness, +which I was glad of. After him the other Judges, of whom most did enter +the Door whereby we were, and mighty reverend they looked, but merry and +in good Humour, and beamy and ruddy after their Breakfast. But to see +MR. JUSTICE TALFOURD come last of all, shaking Hands with his Friends on +both Sides, he newly made a Judge, being a Poet, did most content me; +and MR. WAGSTAFFE did say he looked in good Case and by no means +_puisne_. The Judges all entered, the Rabblement let into the Hall, and +we away, fearing for our Pockets; which are like to be very soon emptied +in Westminster Hall. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PROSPECTE OF YE 5TH OF NOVEMBER, SHOWYNGE YE "GUYS."_ + + MONDAY, _Nov. 5, 1849_.--GUY FAWKES' DAY.] + + +At Breakfast this Morning off a new-laid Egg, cost me 2d., but cheap for +the Time of Year, did hear a shrill Hallooing in the Street, which my +Wife told me was made by the Boys, going by with their GUY FAWKES. So on +this, GUY FAWKES his Day, did in Haste swallow my Breakfast, put on my +Boots and Over-Coat, and so out and about the Streets and Squares to see +the Sport, the Bells ringing for Church, and a Scarecrow of a GUY, borne +by Urchins on a Handbarrow, with Rough Musique at almost every Turn and +Corner. GUY FAWKES his Effigies, with his Fingers sticking out like +Spikes, and his Feet all awry, his Body and Limbs stuffed with Straw, a +Mask for his Face, with a Pipe in the Mouth, and a Lantern and +Tinder-Box dangling from his Wrist, and on his Head a Paper Cap, like an +old Grenadier's, but a Cross on it, and meant for the POPE his Crown. I +thought to see GUY with his Company, borne by the Police in State to the +Station House, but they this Year mostly let alone, and more GUYS, and +ragged Regiments of Boys shouting after them, than ever. The Varlets, as +they went, repeating Doggrel Verses, bidding to remember the Day, and +asking whomsoever they met for Money for a Bonfire to burn their GUY, +and did beg of me; but I would not fling my Money into the Fire. But +Lack to think of the Delight I do take in GUY FAWKES, because of his +ridiculous Figure, and recollecting how I loved to play with Fireworks +on this Day when a Boy; though I know what a Libel is the Holyday on the +Roman Catholiques, and the good Reason, though the Doggrel say to the +contrary, why Gunpowder Treason should be forgot. But some, who should +have known better, did give the Rogues Halfpence and encourage them in a +show of Bigotry; albeit the young Ragamuffins know not what it do mean, +and care only for the Frolick and Halfpence. From Westminster, by the +Back Ways and Streets to Fleet Street, Squibs and Crackers in the Courts +and Alleys fizzing and bouncing all the Way, and did in Fleet Street +dine at a Chop-house, cost me, with Beer and Punch, 2s.; and so to Tower +Hill, where the Banging and Blazing of the Fireworks the greatest of +all; and the Roman Candles and Pin-wheels mighty pretty; but some +letting off Guns and Pistols put me in Fear. Here presently I did hear a +Popping and Cracking behind me; which was a Cracker pinned by some +Scapegrace to my Coat-Tail, and did make me jump, and the Standers-by to +laugh: which did vex me to the Heart; and MR. GREGORY do say, served me +right for countenancing such Doings. But to see the Mob flinging +Serpents at each other, and burning and singeing one another like +Devils, did much divert me, till a Squib whizzing past me did scorch me +in the Face. Truly GUY FAWKES his Day this Time was mighty well kept, +and MR. HOWLETT do say its better Observance is a revival of Protestant +Spirit; but I do agree with MR. WAGSTAFFE that Protestancy is not a +Doctrine of Fireworks, and must own it were better to bury GUY FAWKES, +and not burn him any more. + + + + +[Illustration: _A BANQUET SHOWYNGE YE FARMERS' FRIEND IMPRESSYNGE ON YE +AGRICULTURAL INTEREST THAT IT IS RUINED._ + + MONDAY, _November 19, 1849_.] + + +By Rail to Clod's Norton, to my old Country Friend MR. GILES the Farmer, +and with him to the Meeting and yearly Dinner of the North Gruntham +Agricultural Society at Grumbleton, at the Plantagenet Arms. A mighty +fine and great Dinner; and the Appetite of the Company droll to observe, +and hear MR. GILES declare that all the Farmers were starving. I did +mightily admire the Breadth and Bigness of the Countrymen, and their +round Faces like the Sign of the Rising Sun, but not so bright, for +though ruddy, looking glum. My LORD MOUNTBUSHEL in the Chair, very grand +and high and mighty, yet gently demeaning himself, and did pledge them +about him in Wine with an Obeisance the most stately I think that I did +ever see a Man, and wish I could do like him, and with Practice hope to +be able. The Dinner over, and the QUEEN drunk, and the Royal Family, +and also the Church and Army and Navy all drunk, the Chairman did +propose the Toast of the Evening, which was, Prosperity to the North +Gruntham Agricultural Society, and made a Speech, and did tell his +Hearers that they and the whole Farming Body were going to the Dogs as +fast as they could go; whereat, strange to hear them applaud mightily. +He ended his Speech by saying he hoped Gentlemen would that Evening, +according to Custom, keep clear of Politics, which Rule SQUIRE HAWEBUCKE +next rising to speak, did promise he would observe, and forthwith made a +violent Harangue against SIR ROBERT PEEL and MR. COBDEN. After him got +up MR. FLUMMERIE, and with great Action, and thumping the Table, spoke +for Half-an-Hour, with most brave Flourishes both of his Fists and of +Language. He did tell his Audience that they must be up and stirring, +and quit them like good Men and true, and did exhort them to rally round +the Altar and Throne, and nail their Colours to the Mast, and range +themselves under the Banner of Protection; which he did say was a Flag +that had braved 1,000 Years the Battle and the Breeze, and if so, +should, methinks, be by this time in Tatters. He did say that the +British Lion had been long asleep, but was now at last aroused, which do +seem a simple Saying, the British Lion being only a fabulous Beast, like +the Unicorn, also in the Royal Arms. But to hear how the Company did +cheer at this Mouthing, albeit it was the veriest Cant and Stuff; for, +good Lack! to think of the Monarchy and Church, and all Morals, +Religion, and Government, depending on the price of Wheat! After more +Speeches in the same Strain, the British Labourer his Health drunk, and +then the Prizes given out; and an old Man of 80, for bringing up a +Family without costing the Parish 1d. in 50 Years, did receive £1, and +others for honest Service nigh as long, a Jacket, a Smock Frock, or a +Pair of Hob-Nail Boots, in Reward of Merit. The Toasts and Speech-making +lasted till late, and then we broke up, the Farmers mighty merry, though +grumbling, but not more than their Wont, at the Laws and the Weather, +but their best Friends say, will have little to complain of either, if +they will but mind their Business, and turn seriously to improving their +Husbandry. + + + + +[Illustration: _APPEARANCE OF YE CRYMYNYAL COURTE DURING AN +"INTERESTYNG" TRYAL FOR MURDER._ + + FRIDAY, _November 30, 1849_.] + + +Up, and did take my Wife, with a Party of Friends, to the Old Bailey, my +Wife having a great Longing to see a Prisoner tried, especially for +Murder, and little Pleasure as she do take, poor Wretch, I could not +find in my Heart to deny her this. Got our Places in the Gallery, cost +me 10s., which did begrudge, and do think it a Scandal to the City to +have Money taken at the Old Bailey Doors, as at a Play, yet it do serve +to keep the Company choice. And, good Lack! to see the Assemblage of +great Folks about us, we sitting close by SIR JESSAMIE SPINKES, and my +LORD POUNCETT, and two or three other Lords on the Bench by my Lords the +Judges, and the Aldermen, did make the Place look as fine almost as the +Opera. But in Truth it was as good as a Play, if not better, to hear the +Barristers speak to the Jury, especially the Counsel for the Prisoners, +making believe to be mightily concerned for their Clients, though most +observable Rogues, and arguing in their Behalf through Thick and Thin, +and striving as hard as they could to prove the Black, that did come out +in Evidence against them, White; and pleading their Cause as though they +were injured Innocents, with smiting of the Breast, and turning up of +the Eyes, more natural than I remember I did ever see any Actor. But +methinks they did go a little too far when, cross-examining the +Witnesses, they strove to entangle them in their Talk, and confound +them, trying to make them blunder, so as to mislead the Jury, which do +seem to me only telling a Lie by the Witness his Mouth. And then to hear +them labour to destroy the Witnesses' Credit, and make their Oath +suspected; and them, however honest, seem Perjurers; and to think that +they do practise all this Wickedness only for the Lucre of their Fees! +Among the Prisoners some of the most horrid Ruffians that methinks I +ever did see, and some, when found guilty and sentenced even to +Transportation, skipping out of the Dock, and snapping their Fingers, +which did remind me of the Saying, "Merry as Thieves." But others +looking mighty dismal, and when the Evidence did tell against them, +turning pale and shivering, and we had Eye-Glasses we took with us on +Purpose, and through our Eye-Glasses did watch the Quivering of their +Features, which, Heaven forgive us! we did take Delight in. Using +Eye-Glasses did the more make it seem as if I were at a Play, and what +did jump with the Notion was the Bunches of Rue on the Dock in Front of +the Prisoners, seeming almost like Nosegays, which glad I am that my +Wife and our other Ladies had not with them, for so taken were they with +the ranting Barristers and hang-Gallows Ruffians, that I do verily +believe they would have flung their Posies to them if they had. Strange +that we do make such Account of Criminals, and will sit for Hours to see +how it goes with a Villain, when we would not spare five Minutes to the +Cause of many an honest Man. But for one good Reason I did take Pleasure +in the Old Bailey, which was the Fairness of the Trials, and the +Patience of the Judge, and Justness of his summing up, which do cause me +mightily to reverence our Law, and to hear and see was pretty. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PROMENADE CONCERTE._ + + THURSDAY, _December 6, 1849_.] + + +Did set me Wife, poor Wretch! this Evening to mending my Socks, and +myself to Drury Lane, to MONSIEUR JULLIEN his Concert. The first Part of +the Concert all DR. MENDELSSOHN his Musique, which I did long mightily +to hear, and, so to do in Comfort, buy a Ticket for the Dress Circle, +cost me 2s. 6d., but found the Seats all full, and obliged to stand the +whole While, which made me mad, but a pretty full-eyed young Lady being +forced to stand too, and close by me, though with her Brother, did +comfort me a little, not that she could not sit, but that she was by me. +Heard a Symphony that did well please me, seeming to lift me into the +Clouds, and was mighty mystical and pretty; and the Musique in the +_Midsummer Night's Dream_ did give me much Delight, the Twittering +throughout the Overture putting me in Mind of Singing-Birds and Fairies +and I know not what, and the sleepy Passages very sweet and lulling. +Mightily taken with the Prelude to the Mock-Tragedy, _Bottom_ his March, +as droll Musique as I ever heard; but what did most of all delight me +was the Wedding March, a noble Piece, and I did rejoice therein, and do +think to hire a Band to play it under our Window on my Wedding Day. +MONSIEUR JULLIEN in his white Waistcoat and with his Moustachios mighty +spruce and as grand as ever, and did conduct the Musique, but so quietly +in the first Part that I could scarce have believed it, and methought +showed Reverence for the Composer; which was handsome. But good Lack! to +see him presently, when he come to direct "_God Save the Queen_," +flourish his Batoon, and act the mad Musician! All the Company rising +and taking off their Hats to hear that majestical Anthem, presently some +most ridiculous and impertinent Variations set all the House a laughing +and some hissing, and I do suspect MONSIEUR JULLIEN had a special +Audience this night, that would not away with such Tricks. Between the +Parts of the Concert, I into the Pit to walk about among the Sparks, +where a great Press, the House crammed to the Ceiling. In the +Refreshment and Reading Rooms, young Blades and Lasses drinking of +Coffee and eating of Ices, and Reading of the News, with Shrubs and +Statues round about, and the House all White and Gold, and brightly +lighted, mighty gay; and the Sparks jaunty, but not, I think, wearing +such flaming Neckcloths and Breast Pins as they were wont. Heard in Part +second some Musique of the _Prophète_, full of Snorting of Brass +Instruments and Tinkling of Triangles, and a long Waltz that did give me +the Fidgets, and nothing please me at all, save JETTY TREFFZ her singing +of "_Trab, trab_," which was pretty. Lastly, the Row-Polka played, and +well-named and very droll and absurd, with Chiming-in of Voices and +other monstrous Accompaniments, a good ridiculous rough Musique. But +many of the Hearers did hiss, methought with Unreason, the Polka being +no emptier than any other Polka, and having some Joke in it. Home, the +Wedding March running in my Head, and glad to find good Musique drawing +so great a House, which I do hope will be a Hint to MONSIEUR JULLIEN. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE SERPENTYNE DURING A HARD FROST. YE PUBLIQUE UPON IT._ + + TUESDAY, _January 29, 1850_.] + + +Up, and after Breakfast, to which a new laid Egg at this Time of Year +cost me 2d., to Hyde Park to see the Skating on the Serpentine, very +admirable and mighty good Mirth. The Members of the Skating Club, with +their Booth by the Ice mighty select, yet do as it were perform for the +Amusement of the British Publique. Pretty to see them cut out Figures of +8, and in a Sort dance Quadrilles upon the Ice, which I very much wish I +could do myself, but cannot skate at all, and never could, but whenever +I tried to always tumbled down, generally a Squat, which hurt me. Upon +the Ice all sorts of People high and low, great and little, old and +young, Women and Children, indeed a Multitude of the British Publique +altogether. With their Hollaing and Shouting a continual Roar like the +Cawing and Clacking of innumerable Rooks and Jackdaws. Pretty to see the +Chairs and Forms on the Brink of the Ice, where dirty Boys and Men do +ply with Skates for Hire, and kneeling and screwing and straping them on +to Skater's Feet turn a good Penny. Many fine Girls also, both fair and +black, skating in their warm Furs and Muffs mighty snug and elegant, +please me most of all; and a Troop of Schoolgirls walk two and two along +the Shore very pretty. Fun to see how the Skaters do throw themselves +into all manner of Postures, and how many of them tumble down, and +sprawl about, and roll over one another topsy-turvy, and kick their +Heels in the Air. Also the Unskilful beginning to learn to skate helped +on to the Ice, and an old Woman pulled on by a lively Urchin, make me +laugh heartily. But the most ridiculous Sight the Lower Sort, not +skating but sliding, Butcher Lads, and Costermongers, and Street Boys +with Sticks and Bludgeons in their Hands, and some in their Mouths short +Pipes, smoking while they slide, which I wonder how they can. Good Lack, +to see them come the Cobbler's Knock as they say, and keep the Pot +a-boiling! Likewise how of a Fellow upon the Ice with a Potato Can upon +a Fire-Basket, they buy and eat roast Potatoes which the Sellers cry +_Taturs all hot!_ The Street Boys, too, where the Ice at the Sides thin, +flock together nigh the Edge, and throw Stones breaking the Ice, and I +did hear one of the Varlets as his Pebble crash through cry, "There goes +a Window," and could not but laugh, though I would fain have boxed his +Ears. On Top of a Pole in one Part of the Ice a Board marked +"Dangerous," nevertheless many so foolhardy as to skate close to it, +until at last the Ice broke and a Fool went in and was like to have +drowned, but the Humane Society's Men did come with Drags, and one of +them fish him out by the Scuff of his Trowsers, mighty laughable. They +carry him off to the Receiving House, where they chafe and wrap him in +warm Blankets to bring him to, and give him hot Brandy and Water to +recruit him and send him Home Comfortable, and so reward him for his +Folly, and encourage other Fools to imitate his silly Example. Methinks +such an idle Companion were well served if, instead of getting hot Grog, +he were sent Home with a good Hiding. + + + + +[Illustration: _A FASHIONABLE CLUB. FOUR O'CLOCK P.M._ + + THURSDAY, _February 14, 1850_.] + + +This Afternoon at four o'clock with GUBBYNS to the Leviathan Club +whereof he is a member, and do mean to propose me to be a Member too +which I very much wish, only fear I may be black-balled but hope not. +To-day he take me over the Club to see it, which delight me much, and +good Lack to see how splendid the Building and the Carvings and Gildings +of the Walls and Windows, for all the World like a Palace, wherein a +private Man every Day of his Life may live like a King, as I should like +to. All the Rooms as full as could be of all Manner of Comforts and +Conveniences, especially the great Room where the Members do sit in easy +Chairs with well-stuffed soft Backs and Cushions lined with lovely +smooth shining Morocco Leather, or loll along on Sofas and Ottomans the +same, and read the Reviews and Papers and are served by Footmen in +Livery with Glasses of Sherry and Tumblers of Brandy and Soda Water, all +at their Ease, and enjoy such Accommodation as I think I never could +have imagined unless I had seen. Curious to observe the different +Readers and the Paper each reading; a Parliament or City Man the Times, +a Member, I take it, of the Protestant Association at Exeter-Hall the +Morning Herald, another the Standard, newspapers the wits call Mrs. GAMP +and Mrs. HARRIS, which is great Roguery. Some in Groups stand a +gossiping, some looking out of Windows down on the People in the Street +as they go by, mighty agreeable to such as are well off, and would give +me very much Pleasure. Others with their Backs to the Fire, and one +methought a Country Squire striding in front of the Grate, with his +Hands behind him under his Coat Tails warming himself and looking abroad +over his Neckcloth, as though upon his Parish, and as if he were Monarch +of all he surveyed; mighty dignified and droll. Likewise a Youth of some +Condition, but somewhat too like a Shopboy, in a pretty ridiculous +Posture, eyeing himself in a Pier Glass, did, with his walking Cane +sticking athwart his Arm, divert me. The Magazines, Guide Books, Post +Directories, and so on lying about on the Tables mighty handy, and I did +note also a Pack of Cards and hear some of the Club Men do play. After +going all over the Club-house, and the Lavatories and all, GUBBYNS take +me to dine with him in the Strangers' Room, and a mighty good Dinner +with excellent Claret, cost him how much I did not like to ask, but no +doubt much more cheap and better than it would have come to in the +cheapest tolerable Inn. Thence, after dinner, to the Smoking Room to +smoke a Cigar, and drink Seltzer Water and Brandy, and, after Talk of +the News, and all the Rumour about Town, and a good deal of Scandal, and +some Roguish Conversation, Home, and so to Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _THE CIRCUS AT ASTLEY'S._ + + FRIDAY, _March 8, 1850_.] + + +To the Circus at Astley's late, so missed the Grand Equestrian Drama, +which vex me not much, for the Acting only Horseplay. But in time to see +the Horsemanship in the Circle, which was what I wanted, and got a good +Place in the Boxes, but would have preferred the Pit, except for the +Company, which is of the Lower Sort, and there they do sit with their +Hats on, and eat Oranges and drink Soda Water and Ginger Beer, which +make me ashamed. Pretty riding on a Cream-coloured Horse by a pretty +black girl, and on horseback dancing carried a basket of Flowers, and +dance mighty pretty, but being above I could but look down upon little +but her Head, which did somewhat vex me that I was not below in the Pit. +Also a Fellow in the Dress of an Italian Robber they call a Brigand ride +on three Horses at once, and please me I think as much as anything I +ever saw in my Life. One of the Horses he rode piebald, the others +spotted, pretty to see. Curious to observe the Riding Master continually +smacking his Whip to keep the Horses galloping close to the Circle, but +above all the Head Riding Master they call WIDDICOMBE in a Uniform with +Epaulettes, as it were a Generalissimo, mighty pompous and droll, divert +me beyond measure, and good Lack to hear, between the Horsemanship, the +dialogues between WIDDICOMBE and the Clown. As the Clown walking before +WIDDICOMBE out of the Ring, WIDDICOMBE say "Stop, Sir, go behind; I +never follow the Fool." "Don't you," say the Clown, "then I do," and +walk after him; which tickle me and make me laugh, so that I was like to +burst my Sides. And Lack to see the Dignity of WIDDICOMBE, how grand he +bear himself and look down upon the Clown as an inferior Being, calling +him generally Fool, or else sometimes more gracious, Mr. Merriman. I do +hear WIDDICOMBE is now an old Man, but his Cherry Cheeks, and black Hair +and Eyebrows, make him look young, and his Waistcoat padded well out on +the Chest takes from his Paunch, and though no Doubt he be made up, he +make himself up mighty clever. All this while the Orchestra, mostly of +Brass, trumpeting and banging away the most suitable Music to the +Performance I think that ever could be played except the Tongs and +Bones. About me in the Boxes great Numbers of Small Children, both Boys +and Girls, some Babies almost, enjoy the Spectacle as much as any, and I +do like to see them, and think they with their Mirth do make their +Elders enjoy it all the more, and did think I should have liked to have +had some of my own to take with me, but then thinking of the Expense of +a Family make me better content with None. The Horsemanship mighty good +Fun for the Children, but serious Entertainment to the grown-up, and +strange to see how earnest they sit and gaze and stare with their Eyes +wide open, and their Minds also fixed upon the Horses, and to perceive +that they who think so much of Horses do commonly think very little upon +much else, and how many there be of that Sort among the English People. +After Astley's in a Cab to the Albion Tavern, where a Dish of Kidneys, a +Welsh Rarebit, a Pint of Stout, and a Go of Whisky cost me 3s., and so +Home in another Cab and so to Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _YE FATHERS OF YE CHURCHE GYVING JUDGMENTE UPON YE +KNOTTYE POYNT._ + + SATURDAY, _March 9, 1850_.] + + +To the Judicial Committee of Privy Council to hear Judgment delivered in +the great GORHAM Case, the Reverend Mr. GORHAM against the BISHOP of +EXETER for refusing to institute him to the Living of Bramford Speke, +which the Bishop refuse because Mr. GORHAM deny Baptismal Regeneration. +The Court of Arches gave sentence for the BISHOP, and GORHAM then appeal +to the Privy Council. A great Commotion among the Clergy, and not a +little among the People also. The High Church hold, with the BISHOP of +EXETER, the same Opinion of Baptism as the Catholiques, and the Low do +side with GORHAM and the Baptists and most other Dissenters. To the +Council Chamber betimes, and did get a good Place and hear very well. +The Chamber all the public Part of it crammed with as many People as +could well get in. Lack, to see what Numbers of the Clergy here, both +High Church and Low, and distinguish them by their Looks, and their +Dress, and particularly by their Ties and Waistcoats. Also present many +Dissenters and Roman Catholiques, and among the Catholiques I did note +Bishop WISEMAN the Catholique Bishop of Melipotamus, and Vicar +Apostolique of the London District in the front Row next my Lord the +President's Chair, pricking up his Ears. By and by in come the Lords of +the Council and take their places, mighty Grave, yet as they sit do seem +to take it easy. They sit at a Table in the midst of the Chamber, where, +among them, Lords Brougham and Campbell look mighty ill-favoured and +droll. Behind, towards the Bookshelves, the Lay Lords, but with them a +Bishop in his Knee Breeches and Apron, and a Shovel Hat in his Hand. +Among the Lay Lords the EARL of CARLISLE, a Great Nobleman, and do look +noble, and very much like LISTON the Player. Hush, and Silence, even the +Ladies, of whom some present in the Crowd, when my Lord LANGDALE rise to +deliver Judgment, which he did mighty clever, and lay down the Law, but +no theological Argument, which I expected to hear, but did not. For he +said the Committee have no Authority to determine Points of Doctrine, +and whether Baptismal Regeneration were true or false, but only whether +the Clergy were bound to hold it, or free to deny it, by the Thirty-nine +Articles. And by that Rule he gave Judgment for GORHAM against the +BISHOP, and I see not how he could have done otherwise, nor why the High +Church should be so aghast and angry, nor WISEMAN smile and look so +merry and scornful as he did, and seem so mightily diverted. So the +BISHOP will have to submit, and institute GORHAM, or else resign his +Bishoprick, which I dare swear he will not. Nor do I much fear that many +of the High Church Clergy will leave the Church, as some prophesy, and +turn Catholiques, and relinquish the Loaves and Fishes. Methinks it is a +mighty good Thing that both High Church Clergy and Low are bound only by +the Articles as interpreted by the Law Lords in the Judicial Committee, +and not by themselves on either one Side or the other, for of all Men +methinks the Clergy of every Sect have less than any of a Judicial +Mind. + + + + +[Illustration: _A JUVENILE PARTYE._ + + WEDNESDAY, _April 24, 1850_.] + + +With my Wife this Evening to Mr. HARTLEY'S to a Children's Party, but +some grown up, and among them me and my Wife, though we have no +Children, which vex me, but not much, for Children mighty expensive and +cost money, and, if I had them, would only force me to deny myself a +great many Pleasures I now enjoy, and could not then afford. A large +Drawing Room very fine, and well lighted up, and so many Children of all +Ages down to Babies almost as I think I did never before, altogether in +one room, see. Pretty to see how the little Boys and Girls dance when +MYNHEER SCHLAMM thump and bang the Piano, and some of the very smallest +taught to dance nearly as soon as they could walk, and how they stand in +Position and point their Toes with heels close together, and arms +hanging down, as they do when the Dancing-Master teach them their +dancing Lessons. And to see how pleased all the Girls to dance, but not +all the Boys, but a good many of them look unhappy, yet pretty to +observe how a few little Boys make love to the little Girls, and one +little Boy offer a little Girl a Nosegay, like a young Gallant, and she +take it with the Air of a Coquette mighty pretty. But most of the Boys +make a great deal more Love to the good Things on the Tables; the Sweets +and Pastry, Jelly, Blanc-Mange, Tarts, Pies, Tipsy-Cake, Trifle, and +Ice-creams, and good Lack how they push, and scramble, and hold out +their plates, to get slices of Cake, while HARTLEY cut up a great rich +Cake like a Twelfth-cake and share it between them, and they eat and +stuff all they can, and I fear me some of them ill to-morrow if not +before. Droll to see a little Boy stand astride stuffing into his Mouth +a Pie whole like a Pantomime Clown. Another small Boy sitting down upon +a Pile of Plates set by on the Floor, they having been eaten from, in +the Remains of Trifle, cause great Laughter. So did a fat Dame with her +little Boy and Girl, and an Arm round each, like a great plump Fowl, a +Gizzard under one Wing and Liver beneath the other. Droll to see +HARTLEY'S little girl sit in her Grandmother's Chair beside her Crutch, +where her Grandmother hobbling in did find her, and to think that she +too will be such another old Woman, one of these Days, if she live. Some +of the bigger Boys public School Boys, mighty grand, and a few wearing +Spectacles like young Owls. Mrs. HARTLEY'S Brother, Mr. ST. LEGER, dress +himself like a Conjuror, in a conjuring Cap with magick Characters on +it, and conjure with Cards, and Oranges, and little Images, and Dolls, +mighty clever, and I do mean to get him if I can to teach me. One Thing +made me laugh heartily was to see the Page they call BUTTONS stand +behind him while he conjure, BUTTONS with his Eyes staring wide open, +and he grinning with his Mouth from Ear to Ear. The young Folk after +Supper to dance again, and romp, and play at Blindman's Buff, and +meanwhile the elder sup too, and I and my Wife on cold Fowl and Ham, and +Lobster Salad, and Champagne, mighty merry, and so Home betimes mighty +comfortable, and methinks I do like a Children's more than any other +Evening Party, to see the Children and their Elders also, play the Fool, +and to break up, and get Home early, and so with Content and Comfort to +Bed. + + + + +[Illustration: _GRANDE REVIEW._ + + WEDNESDAY, _May 15, 1850_.] + + +Up, and to St. James's Park, to see on the Parade Ground, the +Inspection, as usual upon the Queen's Birthday, appointed to be +celebrated beforehand this Day, of a Battalion of the Coldstream and +Grenadier Guards, and a Troop of the Royal Horse Guards they call the +Blues. Through a Friend at Court, got, with a choice Few, a good Place, +nigh the Sentry with the Colours, where he stood to keep the Ground, and +the Publique at a Distance, where I also wish always to keep yet pleased +to see them. The Troops reviewed by the Commander in Chief, Field +Marshal the DUKE of WELLINGTON, and with him the other Field Marshals, +Prince ALBERT and the DUKE of CAMBRIDGE, made Field Marshals I suppose +for the martial Deeds they would no doubt have done, if they had ever +had the chance in the Field. Field Marshal the PRINCE, the Colonel of +the Scots Fusiliers, and Field Marshal the Royal DUKE of the +Coldstream, and the great Field Marshal the DUKE of WELLINGTON, Colonel +of the Grenadier Guards. Besides the Field Marshals, at their Heels a +great Staff of Officers, of Lancers and Hussars, and the EARL of +CARDIGAN among them, looking mighty fierce. The DUKE of WELLINGTON at +their Head riding gently along inspecting his Regiment standing in their +big Caps of Bearskin, which do seem much too big for them though they +mostly six feet high, a mighty brave sight, yet a comical, as the men +stood shouldering Arms with their Heels together, and their Toes turned +out like the little Girls and Boys I did see dance at a Children's +Party. Glad to get so good a View as I had of the Duke, and wonderful to +see how well and firm he sits his horse, and he now fourscore-and-two +Years old, and to think what a great General he is and do look, and with +his Eagle Nose, very much resemble _Mr. Punch_. The Officers of the +Staff bestriding their Horses very gallant, and the Horses most noble +Animals and their prancing very pretty. Good Sport to see a Dragoon ride +keeping Order, flourish and point drawn Sword at a fat old Woman who +with a cotton Umbrella and Arms spread all abroad in Terror, run out of +his Way, and Policemen with their Staves closing in as it were to catch +the old Woman. Other Policemen rushing to and fro, help the Soldiers +keep the Ground, and the British Publique back, and beat back them that +would fain press too forward with their staves. Pleasant in a Place +where plenty of Elbow-Room, to behold the British Publique, around one +in the Midst the Likeness of JOHN BULL, perched on a Barrel, jostled one +against the other, push and scramble and tread upon one another's Toes, +and tumble topsy-turvy some of them and Head over Heels; when I had got +comfortable Standing in the meanwhile with a Dozen or so of the Better +Sort, and two or three Poodle and Terrier Dogs, in the Middle of the +Parade where the Troops were inspected, got in I suppose by Favour, like +me. But, good Lack, to think what playing at Soldiers now a holiday +Review like this do seem, and think at the same time what serious Work +the DUKE of WELLINGTON hath seen and done in his Day, which how many +seem to forget, and almost think him a Humbug, and if ever and how soon +we shall have the like to do again, and find another such a Man, to do +it. + + + + +[Illustration: _A PIC-NIC._ + + THURSDAY, _May 23, 1850_.] + + +With my Wife to a Pic-nic Party. I to content her more than to please +myself, and to think how I always study her Pleasure more than my own, +and sacrifice my own Inclinations to hers always. For I prefer to eat +good Things off a Plate or a Table, and not upon my Knees. Besides, the +Fly hired to carry us from Home and back, cost me three Guineas. The +Pic-Nic in my Lord Bilberry's Park, where the Ruins of an old Abbey, +open by my Lord's Allowance, People come to see from all Parts, +gipsying, and making merry and dancing basely among the Ruins. These +with mouldering Arches and Stones overgrown with Moss, and Lichen, and +Ivy, mighty venerable, and set off by a Youth with long Hair and +turned-down Collar, leaning on a broken Pillar, striking an attitude and +staring at the Sky, as though musing on Infinity but in Truth fancying +himself an Object of Admiration. But, he wrapt up in that Mistake, and +forgetting his Meals, the rest intent altogether on the good Things from +Fortnum and Mason's and the Pastry Cook's; and good Lack to see how +they, to the Number of nigh forty Men, Women, and Girls, pitch into the +Ham and Chicken, and the Cold Meat and Lobster Salad, and Pigeon and +Veal and Ham Pie, and therewith drink bottled Ale and Stout, whereof a +fat Serving Man in Livery, hardly drawing a Quart Bottle, mighty +comical, and also a Page, who, carrying Plates, kick against a Wasps' +Nest and raise the Wasps about his Ears and there he stand fighting them +with a Knife, his Face in the Centre of the swarm the Image of Horror. +The Younger Men mostly mighty Polite, they, and especially one with a +fine slim Figure and hooked Nose, with constrained Postures, making +Obeisance as they serve the Girls with Beer and Wine, whereof they as +well as the Men mostly drink their Whack, and pretty to see how one most +elegant Damsel seem falling into a happy Dream and how with her Hair +flowing all adown she droop her Eyelids, muzzy. But some did get full of +Fun, and a little Rogue I see pour the Heel-tap of a Champagne Glass +into the Face of a Youngster, who, lying on his Back, had fallen on +Sleep. The Managers of the Collection also mighty attentive, doing the +Honours, and rare to see one of them, a fine portly Man, carve Slices +off Great Round of Beef, in high Glee. But another rising from his Camp +Stool to hand a Plate to a fine fat Dame, she and her pretty Daughter +suddenly frighted by a Toad and Frog, which crawl and hop towards them +out of some Flags by the Water, start back in Horror, and startle him +and make him upset several Wine Glasses and the Water Can, and stamp on +and smash a Plate. Among the Elders worth noting a lean old Professor, +and his Neighbour a smug Lawyer how they gave their whole minds to most +serious Eating, and also one or two of the younger Men did nought but +stuff themselves; but most made Love; and pretty to see a loving Couple +clink Glasses together, while other Pairs having had enough, saunter and +strut about among and outside the Ruins. Good Lack to think what a Deal +we ate and drank between us, and how famished on one Hand looked a lean +old Labourer in a Smock Frock with a chubby but hungry little Clown, +eyeing the picked Bones, while a Cur on the other did, in his Mouth, run +away with the Wing of a Fowl. + + + + +[Illustration: _VAUXHALL._ + + MONDAY, _July 15, 1850_.] + + +This Evening to Vauxhall, where a Gala Night and much Company, mostly of +the middling Sort, except the worse. Very few Gentlemen of any Condition +do now visit this Place, but plenty of the whippersnapper Sparks that +Shopmen used to call Gents, and a very good Word to distinguish them, +although a vile, as much as to say Snobs. The better Sort of all there +chiefly Medical Students. No Place for Ladies, but here and there a +respectable but stupid Farmer from the Country with his Wife or +Daughter. A bare, faded kind of a Garden, patched with shabby Trees, +variegated Lamps hanging to their Branches among smoky Leaves. The Lamps +do seem the main Attraction, the Bill of Entertainments advertise 10,000 +additional every Night, which seems great Folly. However, the Outlines +of all the Buildings picked out with parti-coloured Lamps mighty gay. A +wooden Building on one Side called the Rotunda, where an Orchestra and +they sing, and opposite an Alcove where a Band in Uniform play at the +same Time Tunes which the Gents and their Partners dance to, waltzing +and spinning round like Teetotums, droll to look upon. The Partners some +pretty but nearly all ill-looking, and one or two horribly +ill-favoured, and to see the People sit and look on, and among them a +fat Country Wife, and prim starched old Maid very thin, make me ashamed. +Also a fat singing Woman sung a Song, not at all to my Liking, and did +throw herself about and make faces. Another Alcove hung with Lamps in +Festoons, and in the Middle a Circus Theatre and a Crowd at the Door +crowding to See a Dancing Girl jump through Hoops and dance upon +Horseback. Other Alcoves with Seats for Eating and Drinking, and they +eat Ham and Chicken, and I a Plate cost me 2s. 6d., and the Ham mighty +thin, which is Vauxhall Fashion, and they drink Arrack, a Spirit I was +curious to taste, and did and never shall again. But what did please me +was a Drink newly come in from America, and called Sherry Cobbler, made +of Sherry and Orange and lumps of Ice, and sucked up into the Mouth with +a Straw, which to see two Gents do for the first Time did take me +mightily, and I did do likewise, mighty cool and refreshing and did +delight me much, and three Cobblers cost me 3 Shillings. Amused to see +the Gents strut about so jaunty smoking Cigars, I think Cabbage Leaf +steeped in Tobacco-Juice. They also drink Rhubarb Wine they call +Champagne cost them 10s. a bottle, and bottled Stout, and good Lack to +see the Lots of empty Bottles on the by-Tables! An old Fellow with a +Pot-Paunch that had had too much Drink fallen asleep, a comical Sight, +whilst pretty to see the Waiters dance Attendance with the Refreshments, +and hear the hollaing and shouting, and altogether a good Deal of Fun, +but dreary; but a Family of little Boys and Girls with their fat Father +mighty merry, and clap their Hands to see the Balloon go up in another +Part of the Gardens. A grand Display of Fireworks to conclude diverted +me too, and so Home and to Bed, hoping after my Evening's Entertainment +I shall not wake with a Headache in the Morning. + + + + +[Illustration: _A SCIENTIFIC INSTITUTION._ + + FRIDAY (_further date wanting in MS._). + + WEEKLY EVENING MEETING.] + + +This Evening to the Royal Institution, to hear Professor OWEN, the +Hunterian Professor to Surgeons' College, Lecturer on Comparative +Anatomy and Physiology, on the Nature of Limbs. To the Institution +early, to the Theatre, and there got a good Place, the Theatre already +filling and soon crammed like any Playhouse where some leading Actor +make his appearance in a great Part, Gallery and all, as they say, to +the Ceiling. The Audience sitting on semi-circular Benches covered with +red Stuff, Tier above Tier, behind the select Visitors to the Front in +reserved Chairs. A mighty droll Sea of Faces, mostly wry, with Eyes +peering and squinting, many through Spectacles, though some +well-featured, one here and there a great Head, but few handsome, Ladies +excepted, a good Sprinkling of belles, and they look mighty pretty, the +rather by Comparison with their Elders, the strong-minded Women, and the +Philosophers around them, for the greater Part to look at, as the Vulgar +Phrase is, a rum Lot. In the Centre of the reserved Seats an Arm-Chair +for the Chairman facing the Lecture Table, whereon Prints and Papers, a +Book and a Water-Carafe and Tumbler. Behind on a Showboard on the Wall +Diagrams and Plates of Skeletons of Extinct Animals, Fish, and Flying +Lizards, and a Dinotherium, and Mastodon, and Mammoth, and withal a +human Skull, the People contemplate, and the Ladies and Damsels even, +with Complacence, and to think all those pretty Creatures have Skeletons +in themselves! By-and-by at eight, enter the Chairman and take the +Chair, a fine fat portly Man with a great Jole, and solemn Look, mighty +noble, and was, a Medical Student say, an awful Swell. Then in come the +Lecturer, the Professor, to great clapping of Hands, and he make his +Bow, and begin. I mighty taken with his Discourse, and to see him point +out with a long Wand he lean upon while he lecture, the Bones and other +Parts in the Diagrams of the Skeletons behind him he Describe, and +explain how this and that Bone, the same as a human Bone, exist only in +a different Form in Animals, and strange the Pterodactyl's Wing-bone a +great little Finger. Lack to think of such Animals nothing remain but +fossil Bones, and the Animals, Geologists say, did live and die Ages +before Adam, shake some People's Faith. But Mr. HOLDFAST think Geology +Bosh, extinct Quadrupeds Monsters destroyed in ancient Times by the +Heroes. Likewise the Fish Lizards and Pterodactyles Dragons, ST. GEORGE +and the Dragon all true, and ST. GEORGE did verily slay a Dragon, and +Accounts of real Reptiles under the name of Dragons handed down by +Tradition; their Bones now dug up out of the Earth witness Legends true, +and no Fable, and reconcile Orthodoxy with Science. However he do not +say he believe they belch Fire and Smoke. So my Thoughts a little +wandering from Professor OWEN'S Lecture, to listen attentively, but the +Air so foul with much Breath and burning of Gas that I at last nearly +asleep and fain to pinch myself to keep awake. Strange, in the chief of +Chemical Lecture Rooms such bad Ventilation. But to think what a +Philosopher Professor OWEN is and can tell an unknown Animal whether +Bird or Beast by a single Bone, and the French may brag of Monsieur +CUVIER, but England have as good Reason to be proud of Professor OWEN. + + + + + _THE CITIES SERIES_ + + A brilliant series of Drawings by Eminent Artists. + + In Decorative Covers, 8-1/4 x 5 inches, 1/-net. + + With the Illustrations in Photogravure mounted on hand-made + paper. Bound in Parchment Boards, with mounted Illustrations, + 2/6 net. + + _I. A LITTLE BOOK OF LONDON_ + Twenty-five Drawings in Photogravure by JOSEPH PENNELL. + + _II. THE GREAT NEW YORK_ + Twenty-four Drawings in Photogravure by JOSEPH PENNELL. + + _III. THE CITY OF THE WEST_ + Twenty-four Drawings in Photogravure by JESSIE M. KING. + + _IV. THE GREY CITY OF THE NORTH_ + Twenty-four Drawings by JESSIE M. KING. + + _Uniform Volume_ + _MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF YE ENGLYSHE_ + Forty-nine Drawings by RICHARD DOYLE, to which are added + MR. PIPS HIS DIARY, by PERCIVAL LEIGH. + + T. N. FOULIS + + 91 GREAT RUSSELL STREET, LONDON, W.C. + & AT 15 FREDERICK STREET, EDINBURGH + + + * * * * * + + +Transcriber's Notes: + + +Multiple spellings not changed: + +Multiple spellings are left as in the original. + +fashionable, fashonable + +both "birthday" and "birth-day" appear in the text + +both "Club-House" and "Club-house" + +both "Exeter-Hall" p.092 and "Exeter Hall" + +both "Pic-Nic" and "Pic-nic" + +both "raylway" and "raylwaye" + +different spellings of "street" + + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Manners & Cvftoms of ye Englyfhe, by Richard Doyle + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MANNERS & CVFTOMS OF YE ENGLYFHE *** + +***** This file should be named 37745-8.txt or 37745-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/7/4/37745/ + +Produced by Chris Curnow, fulvia and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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