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diff --git a/37104.txt b/37104.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cffb636 --- /dev/null +++ b/37104.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6416 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Demands of Rome, by Elizabeth Schoffen + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Demands of Rome + Her Own Story of Thirty-One Years as a Sister of Charity + in the Order of the Sisters of Charity of Providence of + the Roman Catholic Church + +Author: Elizabeth Schoffen + +Release Date: August 16, 2011 [EBook #37104] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DEMANDS OF ROME *** + + + + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Michael and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + +THE DEMANDS OF ROME + +[Illustration: _Elizabeth Schoffen as Sister Lucretia_] + +[Illustration: _Elizabeth Schoffen, Lecturer and Author_] + +DEDICATION + +In the name of all that is good, kind and Christian, I humbly dedicate +this book to those two dauntless Americans, my friends and benefactors, +Mr. and Mrs. E. U. Morrison. + +"The Demands of Rome" + +--By-- + +ELIZABETH SCHOFFEN (SISTER LUCRETIA) + +Second Edition + +_Her Own Story of Thirty-One Years as a Sister of Charity in the Order +of the Sisters of Charity of Providence of the Roman Catholic Church_ + +PUBLISHED BY THE AUTHOR, PORTLAND, OREGON + +Copyright, 1917, by ELIZABETH SCHOFFEN + +(All rights reserved) + + + + +PREFACE. + + +After many entreaties and a sincere vow, it is now "mine to tell the +story" of "THE DEMANDS OF ROME" as I have lived them during my long life +and faithful service in the Roman Catholic Church and sisterhood. I +would sound this story in the ear of everyone who has the interest of +the oppressed at heart--in the ear of everyone who has the interest of +disseminating knowledge, the light and power of which would be a great +help to the freeing of the captive from religious bondage. For as I view +it now, religious bondage is the most direful of all. + +In a few words, "THE DEMANDS OF ROME" from the individual are from the +"cradle to the grave," and they do not stop there, he is followed +through "purgatory" and into eternity. In the commercial world, you must +listen to "THE DEMANDS OF ROME" or the Roman Catholic trade goes +elsewhere, and the anathema of the church is invoked upon you. + +The church of Rome _demands_ property, and when they have it, _demand_ +that they be not taxed for that privilege; they _demand_ wealth, never +being satisfied, but forever _demanding_; they _demand_ the suppression +of liberty; they _demand_ life; they _demand_ death. + +Now, as a sister in the church of Rome, it is _demand_ from the very day +she enters the convent, as I have explained throughout this book. The +first _demand_ is the hair of the victim. The Word of God says, "If a +woman have long hair, it is a glory to her," but what does the church of +Rome care what the Bible says? It is the _demand_ from the church, and +blind obedience of the subject to that _demand_ that Rome cares about. +It is their endless _demands_ for supremacy of heaven, earth and hell. + +We have all heard of the dumb animal which would run back to his stall +in case of fire; nevertheless, we must take an interest in the faithful +old horse and use every effort to save his life from the horrible death +that he would rush to. + +How much more must we take an interest in the lives of the poor, +oppressed humans, the over-burdened, entrapped nuns behind the convent +walls, though she may imagine that she is enjoying the greatest freedom +and the happiest life. Yes, we must all look well to the doors that +stand between Liberty and bondage, even though those doors seem bright +with "religious" paint. + +Let me say with the poet, that I cannot hope to "live but a few more +days, or years, at most," and my one aim is to give to the world a book +that will stand the crucial time of the changing years--a book that +shall be known and read long after the author is forgotten. I write it +with a fond hope that it may be helpful to "those who have a zeal for +God, but not according to knowledge," those who may be floundering in +the meshes of a crooked and perversed theology. I want no other +monument. + + ELIZABETH SCHOFFEN. + + February, 1917. + + + + + CONTENTS. + + + Chapter. Page + + I. Introductory 11 + + II. My Early Life and Schooling 17 + + III. My Novitiate Life 23 + + IV. A Virgin Spouse of Christ--My First Mission 37 + + V. My Begging Expedition--St. Vincent's Hospital--Routine + of a Sister 47 + + VI. How I Educated Myself--I Become Superintendent + of the Third Floor at St. Vincent's 61 + + VII. Sacrament of Penance--Mass and Communion--Extreme + Unction--Indulgences--Annual + Retreat 72 + + VIII. My Trip to the General Mother House 85 + + IX. I Receive My Diploma for Nursing from St. + Vincent's Hospital--Trouble Among the + Sisters 103 + + X. My Removal from St. Vincent's Hospital 122 + + XI. Two Interesting Letters from Sisters--My + Letters for Redress to Archbishop Christie 130 + + XII. My Emancipation 144 + + XIII. I Quit the Roman Catholic Church 155 + + XIV. Form for Dispensation of the "Holy" Vows--My + Suit and Settlement With the Sisters + of Charity 165 + + XV. My Recommendation from the Doctors of + Portland--The Good Samaritan--I Affiliate + With a Protestant Church--My New + Work 181 + + XVI. My "Advertisement" in the Catholic Sentinel 191 + + XVII. The Care of Old Sisters by the Roman Catholic + System 199 + + XVIII. Conclusion 205 + + Appendix 217 + + + + + LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS Page + + Elizabeth Schoffen attired in the garb of a Sister 2 + + Elizabeth Schoffen--Lecturer and Author 3 + + Elizabeth Schoffen one month before she entered the + Convent 25 + + "Father" Louis de G. Schram 33 + + Sister Ethelbert 49 + + Caught in the Act of Kissing the Floor 55 + + St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Oregon 65 + + Mother House, Montreal, Canada 89 + + Fac-simile of My Diploma 107 + + Archbishop Alexander Christie of Portland, Oregon 139 + + Fac-simile of the Check I received from the Sisters of + Charity 180 + + A Gift from God 195 + + + + +THE DEMANDS OF ROME + + + + +CHAPTER I. + + INTRODUCTORY + + +In writing this story of thirty-one years of my service in the +Sisterhood of the Roman Catholic Church, I have no apologies to make. +From the treatment I received after I left the cruel and oppressive +Romish institution, I feel that there are thousands of Protestants, +so-called, that need to know what is required and demanded of the poor, +duped girls that are in these prisons of darkness that dot this +beautiful country of ours from one end to the other, guising themselves +under the cloak of religion. + +Then, there is the Roman Catholic, who has been brought up in that +faith, and yet feels that the system as practiced in this country is not +in accord with the American principles. To these I wish to give my +message, that they might know the inner workings of these damnable +institutions, falsely called "charitable and religious." + +With malice toward no one, but for love of God, charity and liberty to +all, I tell this story of my life, with a sincere hope that it may--in +some little way--help you, dear reader, and your posterity from drifting +into the now threatening condition of pagan darkness and the +indescribable, as well as uncalled for, unnatural, inhuman tortures I +escaped from. + +Protestants are brought up in such grand freedom and liberty of spirit, +both civil and religious, that it is almost impossible for them to +believe that there can be anything to prevent Roman Catholics (I now +mean the good Roman Catholic) from enjoying the same rights and +privileges that they do. If my Protestant friends will just stop one +moment and think about the difference between Americanism and +Catholicism, then they will realize how it is that the good Roman +Catholic cannot enjoy the true liberal government that their forefathers +fought, bled and died for, and which they are enjoying today. + +Americanism means true democracy--the rule of the majority in matters +civil, and the protection of the rights of the minority. + +Americanism means freedom of thought, conscience, speech and press. + +Americanism means the right to worship God according to the dictates of +your own conscience. + +Americanism means that liberty of body, soul and spirit which tends to +the development of all that is noblest and best in the individual. + +Does Roman Catholicism mean these great principles? + +Let me say emphatically, NO. + +Catholicism means the rule of the Pope. + +Catholicism means restriction of thought, speech, and censorship of the +press. + +Catholicism means the worship of God in no other manner than set forth +by the Popes, and the persecution of heretics, even unto death. You weak +Protestants will probably say, "Oh, not that bad." Well, let me tell +you, that you had better open your eyes. Let me quote from the "Golden +Manual," a prayer book I used while a Sister. This book has the approval +of John Card. McCloskey, then Archbishop of New York, page 666: "That +thou wouldst vouchsafe to defeat the attempts of all Turks and heretics, +and bring them to naught." And according to the Roman Catholic Church, a +heretic is anyone who does not believe all the teachings of that church. +So you Protestants are each and every one heretics and the Roman +Catholic church has no use for you, so why should you cater to them? + +Catholicism means repression of individuality and the subjection of the +body, soul and spirit to a ruling class (the priests) by the terrible +doctrine of infallibility, for we, as Catholics and sisters, believe +that the priest cannot sin, as priest. + +With these Roman Catholic principles, which I learned and practiced as a +sister, so diabolically opposed to our American principles, it can +readily be seen why a good Roman Catholic cannot enjoy the freedom which +the Constitution gives to every American citizen. And, my dear American +Protestant, if you do not get any other thought from this book, I wish +to give you one here in the introductory which will be well worth your +earnest, thoughtful study: If these principles of the Roman Catholic +system are allowed to continue being put into practice, there is a +possibility that we may lose our precious heritage of freedom which has +been handed down to us. I was deprived of all the rights of an American +citizen till about five years ago. I was buried in pagan darkness and +superstition and my soul longed and was dying for light and life, and I +did not know how to obtain freedom because of the ignorant manner in +which I was raised in the parochial school, and the damnable +instructions I received from the so-called representative of Christ on +earth, the priest. I have heard that there are about eighty thousand +sisters in the convents of the Roman Catholic system in the United +States, and if this power can keep that number of girls in subjection +and ignorance, do you not think that they will do the same with the +seculars, if they had a little more power? + +Just think it over, and read of the demands of Rome I had to yield to +for thirty-one years. Read the dark history of the Roman Catholic +Church, and remember that Rome never changes; 'Semper eadem--' "As it +was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. +Amen." Then maybe you will cease being Protestant in name only, and +begin to protest. + +Why are we Protestants? What is the meaning of the word Protestant? + +Protestant is one who protests, and we are called Protestants because at +the time of the Reformation the people who protested against the +cruelties and superstitious practices of Rome took the name Protestant, +and we are supposed to protest against the same teachings and cruelties +today. + +But how many true Protestants have we today? Very few, indeed. If you +would be a true Protestant, you must protest twenty-four hours a day, +and seven days in every week in the year. Thank God, the American people +have, in the last few years, begun to wake up, and see the evils of this +terrible system, which is gnawing at the very vitals of our free +institutions. And, if the American people do not become indifferent, as +they have in the past, Rome will meet the same fate here that she has +met, or is meeting, in nearly every country where she has held sway for +any length of time. + +History tells us in no uncertain language of the downfall of the once +powerful country of Spain, of the suppression of the convents and +monasteries in Portugal, Italy and France, and without the system of +convents and monasteries, priestcraft can amount to naught. With these +historical facts staring us in the face, the convent and monastery +system is becoming a power in this land, and the inevitable is sure to +come--the suppression of all closed institutions. "History repeats." + +Therefore, I wish to give to the world my experience of thirty-one years +in a convent, that I may help hasten the time when these institutions +will be open, and the captive set free; that I may help, if I can, the +real true, red-blooded American citizens from returning to sleepy +indifference. + +I cannot write this story in the language of an educated person, for as +you will learn in the succeeding chapters, my education was sadly +neglected. There will, no doubt, be many grammatical errors, which I ask +my readers to overlook, as it is not intended as a work of rhetoric, but +a message from the heart. I will write it in my own language, that which +I had to learn mostly by myself, and it took a great many years of hard +work and a great deal of deception on my part to be able to tell it even +as well as I will. And, if I can convey to my American brothers and +sisters any new light on the workings of these damnable institutions, +or, if I may be the means of influencing a few more to be real, true, +honest Protestants, then this effort will not be in vain. + +I have no tale of immorality to tell, as the order of which I was a +member was what may be classed as one of the "open orders," and the +institutions in which I worked most of my so-called "religious" career, +were among the most modern operated by the Roman Catholic system in this +country. I have heard and read a great deal about the nameless infamies +and the degradation of the "cloistered" orders, but that story I must +leave for some other to tell. I will tell the unvarnished, plain truth +of my experience in the "modern" institutions, and let the reader draw +his or her own conclusion as to the life the sisters in the closed +orders have to live. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + + MY EARLY LIFE AND SCHOOLING + + +I was born in 1861, in Minnesota, of German parents, who had come from +Germany in quest of greater liberty and a home in a free land. + +My mother was a most devout Roman Catholic, absolutely under priest +guidance, and by his instructions to her the children were reared and +schooled. My father was a broad-minded Roman Catholic, not very strong +in the faith. I have heard him speak of the teachings and superstitious +practices, as "priest foolishness." But, that there might be peace in +the family, he would leave matters regarding the children to mother, and +leaving these things with her was leaving them with the priest. + +When I was five years old, we migrated to the State of Washington near +Walla Walla (then called Fort Walla Walla). + +I was the eighth child of a large family, and as my parents could not +afford to send all of us to the convent or parochial school, it was my +lot to go to the public school a few weeks occasionally for three years. +This was when I was at the age of eight, nine and ten years. But, for +fear of imbibing the "Protestant godless spirit," as my mother called +it, I was given only a reader and speller. Nearly every day my mother +would question me as to what the Protestant children would say to me at +school. She cautioned me many, many times not to talk to them, as they +were the children of bad Protestants, that they would grow up bad and +wicked the same as their parents were, without belief in God and church, +as Protestants were people who fell away from God by leaving the true +church and following a very wicked man, named Luther, who became proud +and disobedient to the Pope. + +These Protestant godless (public) schools were greatly deplored in my +home by my mother, and yet my father was a teacher and director in these +public schools for a great many years. Because the Roman Catholic people +had to pay taxes to keep these schools running, there was much murmuring +against that unjust government of an infidel people, as it was called. +With these contentions continually wrangling in my home, it did not +require serious excuses for my being kept out of school. I have heard my +mother make the statement many times that it would be better to have no +education than to have this Protestant godless public school education. + +When I was eleven years old, my mother and the priest decided that it +was time for me to go to the convent school to learn my catechism, +confession, my first communion, the rosary--my religion. In fact, during +the three years I attended this school, that was about all I learned. +True, there were classes of reading, spelling and arithmetic, but the +books I used in these studies were of a lesser grade than those I used +during the short time I went to the public school. By the order of the +sister who taught arithmetic, I had to teach smaller children what +little arithmetic I learned from blackboard study in the public school, +having my class in the back of the room we occupied. The sister who +taught reading (Sister Agnes) told us that before she came to that +school to teach, she had been a cook in an Indian Mission. Well +qualified, wasn't she? The catechism teacher (Sister Mary Rosary) taught +sewing and catechism alternately, in that part of the building known as +the wash-house. + +Three years of my life were wasted in this manner, learning practically +nothing but Roman Catholic catechism and pagan religion. Three years of +just that time of a child's life which should be spent laying the +foundation for something nobler and grander. + +And now, after all is said and done, I was prepared to take my first +communion. This was administered to me on May 23d, 1875, by "Father" +Duffy, in the parish church of Walla Walla. I was confirmed the same +day, in the same church, by Bishop Blanchet, of Vancouver, Washington. + +I thought that I now had religion, and as I thought that was the one +objective of the convent schooling, I took my few books home and told my +mother that I would not go to that school any longer. I wanted to return +to the public school, but mother said we were Catholics, and as such, we +had to go to the Catholic school. Finally, after a great deal of +persistence, I was permitted to go to the public school, but it was only +for a very short time again. Mother took sick, and regardless of the +fact that there were two sisters and a brother younger than I, and a +sister and brother older, at home, this was a very good excuse to get me +out of school. + +From this time till I was twenty years old, six years, I did nothing but +idle away the most precious time of one's existence. Oh, what stupid, +lonely, sorrowful girlhood years they were. I knew in a dreamy way that +I was being cheated out of my right of education, but what was I to do? +I was tempted many times to leave home and work for schooling. I once +made mention of this intention to mother. I was threatened with all +sorts of punishments if I ever attempted a thing of this nature. She +told me that I could study the catechism at home, that that was enough +for me to know--that I would not forget the things that would take me to +heaven and keep me from going to that terrible hell-fire with the +devils. If there would have been any reasonable excuse for all this, I +would have nothing to say. But there the school was at our very door, +free to all, without price, with the exception of the few books that +were needed, and yet I was denied that privilege. And why? All in the +name of religion. + +Oh, my American friends, can you not see the folly of it all? Can you +not see the folly of allowing this one-man power to continue building +these institutions all over this fair land of ours? Every time you see a +parochial school in the shadow of a cross, just think that there is the +institution taking the place of our public schools, and you can rest +assured that even the parochial schools would not be here if it were not +for the public schools. Institutions supposed to be educational, when in +reality they are institutions for the purpose of teaching Roman Catholic +paganism. + +You may say that there are Roman Catholics who are well educated. Yes, +there are. But where you will see one who is well educated, there will +be hundreds and maybe thousands who have only a duped education, a +fooled education, so to speak. I have given you a fair example of Roman +Catholic education in my own life. + +Six years before I entered the sisterhood, I had nothing to do outside +the few home chores, kept in inexcusable ignorance, deprived of every +opportunity for any enlightenment, even for my own future home life. I +could hear nothing but punishments, purgatory, hell-fire and everlasting +damnation. Prayer to the crucifix in honor of the five holy wounds, to +the holy Virgin Mary and her badge--the scapular--for protection; +confession, the church, the priest-Christ--these were my schooling. No +reading, no society, except one Catholic neighbor family, and I was +being continually cautioned to beware of them, as they had little of the +Roman Catholic religion, were too worldly and were given almost entirely +to dress and nice times. + +Be assured that I had a real Roman Catholic raising, absolute ignorance, +steeped in Popery, superstition, idolatry filled with Roman fanaticism. +One of the Popes has said, "Ignorance is the mother of devotion." Yes, +superstition was the name of my Roman Catholic mother; indifference was +the name, in effect, of my Roman Catholic father. But the Lord God, the +pope, through the priest, the devil's hellish system, was the school I +was raised in. It was this cunningly devised, diabolical system which +was responsible for the ignorance and mental blindness of my good, +honest, but deluded parents, as it was to blame for the awful wrongs, +injustice and the wretched life of abject convent slavery I had to live +so many years. + +So I had been compelled to hear and see nothing but the one sided +teaching of the Roman Catholic catechism, the priest's hell and +damnation preaching, had been held back and down in Roman Catholic +ignorance, darkness and superstition, until at length I became as one +deaf, dumb and blind, which very well explains the principle of the +teachings of the Roman Catholic system. + +During the last few years of my home life, all home and priestly +influence was brought to bear on the convent life as the preferable +choice for a girl. I had a great ambition to be a teacher, and the +Jesuit priests (Father Jordan and Father Cathaldo) assured me that in +the convent the sisters taught everything a girl needed to know; music, +singing, needlework and the necessary education for teaching. The +beautiful, glowing picture of convent and a sister's life were +constantly being brought to my mind, till I could at last think of +nothing else. + +The world was pictured as terrible and sinful; the people being educated +in the public schools, living under the influence of an unbelieving +government, parents having no religion, people of irresponsible +character and loose morals, caring for nothing but the material things +of this world and good times, which consisted of sinful pleasures. And, +living in this manner, there was no hope of eternal life for them, as +there was no one to whom they could confess their sins, and "nothing +defiled can enter heaven." + +With these things constantly burdening my undeveloped mind, and the +thought of the great work I could do for the church and priests, and of +some day being a great sister-teacher, I at last consented to be a +sister for the Roman Catholic system. + +Very natural, under this kind of home life and influence, when every +thing human, natural, ennobling, elevating and commonly decent and +Christian was withheld and kept out of my life, and all of nature's +endowments and rights distorted and put to my mind as something +deceptive and leading to sin and deplorable wrongs. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + + MY NOVITIATE LIFE + + +My last two confessions, in preparation to entering the convent were +made to "Father" Ceserri. When I had finished the last one, and he was +expounding and explaining my admirable choice of sisterhood life, he +raised his right hand while pronouncing the words, "I absolve thee, +etc." and then he put his arm around my neck and very "fatherly" kissed +me. In the midst of my sanctifying confusion I did not know whether it +was the Holy Ghost, or if it was meant in brotherly love. But, I quieted +my mind with the happy thought that as the priest was Christ in the +confessional, it must have been Him who had kissed me, and I believed +myself highly favored by this mark of His love. + +This same priest, "Father" Ceserri, took me from my home, which was in +the Palouse country in the eastern part of Washington, to Walla Walla, +which was two days' travel by stage, and a few hours on the railroad. At +the end of the two days' stage travel, we were in Dayton, Washington. It +had been very warm and dusty all day. The clerk of the hotel showed us +to a large room prepared for two. "Father" Ceserri, in a laughing, +jolly, good-natured manner, remarked that the clerk took us for man and +wife. The priest left the room while I was dusting and arranging myself. +When he returned, he had a couple of bottles of porter, he called it, +and two big goblets. He opened the porter and filled the goblets, handed +one to me and kept the other himself. I would not take it, telling him +that I never took liquor. He pleaded that I should drink it as it would +do me good after the tiresome travel of the day. He could not prevail +upon me to take it, so he left the room again, returning soon with some +beer, saying that this was milder and insisted that I take it. I refused +as before. He told me that if I wanted to be a sister that I had to +learn to obey, as sisters made vows of obedience. So I consented to +taste it in obedience to him. He was then satisfied, as I had obeyed. + +The next day we went to Walla Walla, where I remained about a month with +the Sisters of Charity, who took me to Vancouver, Washington, where I +entered the convent. + +It was understood between the priest and my mother, before I left home, +that I would have a year's schooling before entering the Sisterhood. +This promise had also been made to me by the Reverend Mother John of the +Cross. + +On the day set by the sisters, July 30th, 1881, I was notified that I +was to be received into the novitiate that evening. I reminded the +reverend mother of her promise to me in regard to school, and she told +me that she had not forgotten it, that the two years' novitiate was all +schooling. I believed her, and, as I had already had a few lessons in +obedience, I thought it best for me to do as she directed. I had learned +that the reverend mother superior was the same over us in the convent as +the priest in the confessional and church. So I yielded in all +confidence to her for my future interests. + +[Illustration: _Elizabeth Schoffen, One Month Before Leaving Home for +the Convent._] + +On entering the novitiate, I was given a formula, which I said kneeling, +as follows: "Reverend Mother, I beg to enter this holy house, and will +submit to all the trials to prove myself worthy to become a servant of +the poor, and pray for perseverance." I was then led into a large, +barn-like hall or room, with a long, sort-of-workshop table in the +center, and a number of plain chairs--this was all the furniture. There +were a few holy pictures on the wall which broke the awful bareness. The +frames were black, coffin-like strips of wood, very forcibly impressing +the idea of death on my mind. + +I was then led to a graded oratory where there were various statues and +lighted candles, before which I knelt, ahead of the novices and the +Mistress of Novices, and prayed: "Veni, Creator Spiritus," meaning, +"Come, O Holy Ghost," and the Litany of the Saints. With this +introductory ceremony over, the Mistress came to me with a large pair of +scissors and cut off my beautiful, golden-brown hair, my only beauty. +This was the first "mark of the beast," the first preparatory act for +Rome's "holy" institution. + +I was then a "postulant" which means on probation. The postulant period +generally is six months. During that time the sisters decide whether or +not the candidate has a religious calling--that is, to find out more +intimately her character, disposition, temperament, inclinations, +disinclinations--to see if she has the bodily fitness and soul +requirements to be permitted the next step of advancement in this "holy" +calling. + +I was told by the mistress that the closing of the door of that "holy" +house was a complete separation of myself from the sinful world. That if +I wanted to be a spouse of Christ and a good sister, I had to +absolutely forget everything outside the convent, even to my own parents +and relations. "He that is not willing to leave father and mother for my +sake is not worthy of me." The one important obligation that was +repeatedly impressed upon my mind was that I had entered the convent to +become a religious to save my soul. The quotation, "Let the dead bury +their dead," was translated literally to me, and I was not to worry +about any one outside the four walls that enclosed me. + +As a postulant, I was to learn the fundamental virtues of the community +of the Sisters of Charity--Humility, Simplicity and Charity. For the +acquisition of these virtues I had to learn to diminish in my own +estimation; be glad whenever I was given an opportunity to abase, to +renounce or to mortify myself. By the interior and exterior practice of +these virtues I had to prove myself. By true humility of heart, I had to +bear all things and refuse the soul its desires. The poor and humble in +spirit pass their life in abundance of peace, I was taught. + +One of the first humiliating experiences I had, to illustrate the above +teaching, was one Sunday evening soon after I entered. The sister who +was to relieve me in the department I was working in, had failed to +report and I had not had any supper. The next exercise was benediction +in the church and I could not absent myself from this without being +dispensed by my superior, and then for only very grave reasons. I went +to the novitiate room about eight o'clock, and the mistress of novices +rebuked me severely for not being in rank with the novices. I told her +that I had not had any supper yet, as the sister officer had failed to +replace me in time. I had broken a rule by being absent from supper +without permission, so I went on my knees and asked a penance. The +mistress told me that I could go to the pantry and get some eatables and +take them up to the novitiate room and eat my supper before the novices. +She also informed me that I had done wrong for blaming a professed +sister for the breach of the rule. + +This seems like a very childish occurrence, and so it was. But it was +humiliating for me to sit before a number of novices eating a cold +supper, and Rome had made her point by demanding from one of her dupes, +and the dupe responded. + +Almost from the first day I entered, I had to learn Latin prayers. This +was probably the education I was promised. It would have been alright +had I been taught Latin so it would have been of some benefit to me. But +these prayers were taught me in a sort of parrot-like manner, the +mistress of novices telling me how to pronounce the words in Latin, and +I knew what they meant in English, having learned the prayers +previously. If I were to see the same words written, explaining +something I had not previously memorized, I would not be able to read or +understand the meaning of them. I learned prayers in French in the same +manner. + +I will give you an example of a Latin prayer. This is the Angelical +Salutation, or Hail! Mary: + +Ave, Maria, gratia plena; Dominus tecum; benedicta tu in mulieribus, et +benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus. + +Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora +mortis nostrae. Amen. + +Quite often during my postulant period, while I was learning these Latin +prayers, I would have to do sewing. This was a beginning of the vow of +poverty, which I hoped to take in the near future--learning to be a +religious, and at the same time working my hands for the Roman Catholic +system. + +The candidate is assigned her work by the mistress of novices and goes +through a test to see in what way she can become useful in the service +of God as a Sister of Charity. It is a case of getting all the work +possible out of the girls from the very start, for these so-called +"holy" institutions. + +My two years' novitiate training was served in the boys' department of +the Orphanage of the Sisters of Charity at Vancouver, Washington. There +was an average of about seventy boys in this institution, ranging in age +from three to fourteen years. Two sisters had all the care of these +children, except the cooking of the food. And, oh, the care these poor +children received. They were physically and mentally weak from having +been underfed and poorly cared for, and being taught by two sisters who +had a parochial school education such as I had. + +One of my duties was to awaken these poor, little waif children for Mass +at five thirty in the morning. If, on arising, I found that any of them +had failed to get up during the night to attend to nature's call, it was +my duty to whip them with a substantial leather strap, which was +provided for that purpose. If some of the larger boys needed this +persuasive remedy for their ills, they would be taken to the attic, +stripped, and some sister would be there to administer the medicine in +prolific doses. With this kind of treatment, it was no wonder that we +had to be continually on our guard to keep them from running away. I +have known as many as six at one time to run away for two or three days, +and sometimes some of them would not come back at all. + +On the twenty-fourth day of February, 1882, I was admitted to the "holy +habit," in most orders called the taking of the "white veil," the next +step to my "religious perfection." + +I was now a "novice" and I must present myself every two weeks to the +mistress of novices, and in order that she may direct my soul in the +spiritual life, I must kneel to her in private and make what is called +"manifestation of conscience." That is, to lay bare my heart and mind in +everything I can possibly think of, excepting grave sins. If the +mistress, who is a cunning director, has any dislike for any of the +novices, this exercise is very cruel, for these "saintly" nuns know +better than any one on earth how to cunningly torture those in their +power--the system forcing them to it. + +Every week I had to go to the priest for confession, whether I had +anything to confess or not. Very often I had to search my heart and mind +to find something to tell this "Christ" in the confessional. + +Soon after I became a "novice," we were called to the novitiate for +spiritual instruction. "Father" Louis de G. Schram was the chaplain. An +orphan boy had been taken out of the orphanage on account of one of the +younger sisters having talked a little too much. "Father" Schram said, +"Now, sisters, always tell the truth, but to tell the truth you do not +have to tell everything you know. Suppose, Sister O'Brien, if somebody +would come and ask you, 'Is Johnny Morgan here?' you would not have to +say 'Yes, Johnny Morgan is here.' You place one hand in the sleeve of +the other hand, and you say, 'No, Johnny Morgan is not here,' and you +will mean that Johnny Morgan is not up your sleeve." + +This story was given as a spiritual instruction, but it very truly +represents the system I lived for thirty-one years--deception, from +beginning to finish. With teachings of this nature constantly before us, +it was a case of lying, stealing, thieving and "swipping" among +ourselves, from morning till night, to make life a little more +comfortable for ourselves. + +A novice is not allowed to talk in general conversation with a professed +sister during her novitiate period, with the exception of the mistress +of novices and the mother superior. These two sisters, and the priest, +are the only confidents we have, as we are taught to talk among +ourselves on religious subjects only, and if we hear another novice +talking in any other subject or breaking any other rule, it is our duty +by rule and conscience to report her to the mistress of novices. We are +told that we are all "monitors," which means, carry the reports to the +mistress of novices. + +This practice destroys confidence and causes us to regard one another +with suspicion, the result of which is distrust and hatred, and a +general spy system. This is one of the most devilish practices taught in +this part of a sister's life, one that stays with her throughout her +whole sisterhood. Tattling, accusing, charging one another with the most +trivial, cruel, and very often wicked acts. Many times the sister +accused is innocent of any wrong doing, but there is nearly always a +penance imposed upon her, and if she is not in the good grace of the +mother superior, the penance is often very severe. + +[Illustration: _"Father" Louis de G. Schram_ (Johnny Morgan Story)] + +From the first day we enter, we are not allowed to send or receive mail, +without it first being censored. This is another manner Rome has of +keeping the girls in the convent after they are once there. The practice +of censorship of mail is absolutely against the postal laws of the +country, but it is done in the convents every day. Why should the postal +authorities permit the continuous disregard for the laws? Are the +sisters in the convents American citizens and under the protection of +the laws of the country, or are they not American citizens? If _you_ +would open mail belonging to some other person, unless you could give a +very good reason for so doing, you would find yourself in the clutches +of the law, and would have to account to the Federal government. But you +never hear of a superior of a convent being held for opening another +sister's mail. Why this discrimination? Is it not breaking the law in +one instance the same as the other? + +While I was in the novitiate, a letter that I had written to my parents, +was returned to me by the mistress of novices, with the instruction that +I rewrite it and leave certain parts out, as it would cause my people to +think that I was not happy. Yes, dear reader, that is it exactly. It did +not make any difference how I felt, whether I was happy or not, the fact +was that I was in the convent, seemingly, for better or worse. It was +the impression I left on the outer world that Rome was most interested +in. + +The fact of the matter is, that I was not happy and wished to leave, but +did not know what to do or where to go. I knew that I would not be +welcomed in my own home or among Roman Catholics, and with the bringing +up I had received and under the influence of this religious training, I +believed it impossible to be saved among Protestants. Several times I +made mention of my unhappiness to the Master of Novices in the +confessional. He implored me to be faithful and God would reward me, and +if I was not faithful there was small chance of saving my soul. + +Nearly always after telling the Master of Novices of the unhappiness in +the convent, he would, at the next "spiritual" instruction, give us a +long talk about girls who had lost their vocation by leaving the +convent, and that they nearly all came to a bad end. + +My dear reader, you can readily understand why more of these poor, +deluded sisters do not leave these institutions, when, from the very +beginning these principles are ground in their very hearts and minds +until they become as one bound, tied and gagged. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + + A VIRGIN SPOUSE OF CHRIST + MY FIRST MISSION + + +My novitiate training of two years being finished, I was now ready to be +prepared to become a "Virgin Spouse of Christ." My "canonical +examination" was conducted by "The Right Reverend" Aegedius Jounger, +Bishop of Nesqually. This examination was a very private affair. It +consisted of rigid questioning in regard to the vows I was about to +take, poverty, chastity and obedience, and especially the vow of +chastity. I was asked what I understood by the vow of chastity, and if I +thought I could keep it through my life. I was also questioned very +closely as to my fitness to take a vow of this nature. + +I was informed that my examination had been satisfactory, and on the +sixth day of August, 1883, I made my profession as a Sister of Charity +of Providence, in the convent of that order, the House of Providence, in +Vancouver, Washington. Bishop Jounger officiated at this ceremony, +assisted by "Father" Schram and several other priests. + +This ceremony included the "nuptial mass" which is the wedding ceremony +between the novice, or candidate, as the bride, and Jesus Christ, the +absent bridegroom. At this ceremony I received my wedding ring (which I +have yet) and took the perpetual vows of poverty, chastity and +obedience. These three things--the wedding ceremony, receiving the ring +and the taking of the vows--made me a "virgin bride of Jesus Christ." +The head-gear of the garb was changed at this ceremony of my "religious +profession," which was the only difference between the garb of the +novice and the professed sister in the order I had entered. I also +received my number, 554, which meant that I was the 554th sister to +enter that order, and which I kept throughout my sisterhood life. All +clothes and articles assigned to us for our use are marked with the +sister's number, just as seculars (people of the world) use their names +or initials, or the numbering of convicts in the penitentiary. + +The following is, in substance, the form of the final and perpetual vows +I took: + +"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. I, +Elizabeth Schoffen, in religion Sister Lucretia, wishing to consecrate +myself to God as a daughter of charity, a servant of the poor, do hereby +make to the Divine Majesty the perpetual vows of poverty, chastity and +obedience, under the authority of the General Superior, and according to +the constitution and laws of the institute and organization. + +"I humbly beg the Divine mercy through the infinite merits of our Lord +Jesus Christ, the intercession of His glorious Mother and the prayers of +the Patron Saints of this Institute, to grant me the grace of being +faithful to these vows of poverty, chastity and obedience; for the +dispensation of which I will humbly submit to my Mother General and the +Holy Father, the Pope. Amen." + +After the taking of these vows, there is more mass during which the act +of "Consecration to the Holy Virgin Mary" takes place. I had just been +consecrated to Jesus Christ as His virgin spouse, but now I must be +consecrated to His mother. Let me say right here that once each year the +sisters are required to renew their vows of poverty, chastity and +obedience, and the act of consecration to the Holy Virgin Mary. + +The act of consecration to the Holy Virgin Mary is as follows: + +'O, Holy Virgin, virgin among all virgins, and queen of all religious +associations, we humbly prostrate ourselves at your feet in order to +acknowledge that after God, it is to you, O good mother of ours, that we +owe the grace of our vocation--devoted and consecrated in a special +manner to the devotion of your sorrows. Being called to take care of +your dear Son in His poverty, His suffering and to assist Him when +dying, we desire that you make us share in your feelings as a mother. +Therefore, please make us partake of your compassion for all the +spiritual and physical miseries of the children that you have begotten +on the cross. Be pleased to look at us as the daughters of sorrow. Deign +to receive us in your most amiable heart--this heart of yours that was +pierced with the seven swords of sorrow We willingly love this heart of +yours so good. You know the dangers we go through in the exercise of +Charity; take great care of us in the midst of our perils, O you who are +the helper of all Christians. In acknowledgment of your kindness, we +shall work with all our strength to make all people love, serve and +glorify thee. Amen.' + +Allow me to explain, in a concise manner, the three vows, poverty, +chastity and obedience: + +By the vow of poverty, I had to give up all the material goods I +possessed and all that I ever hoped to possess either by service or +inheritance--being guided according to the Lord's counsel, "If thou wilt +be perfect, go, sell all thou hast and give it to the poor." Even my +material body no longer belonged to myself, I was an inherent part of +the order. Nothing belonged to me--the clothes I wore, even to a pin, +belonged to the community. I had to always say, "This is _ours_," never +say "This is _mine_." If any presents were given to me in any of the +work I was to do, I had to turn them over to the superior. Not a minute +of time is mine any longer, the twenty-four hours of the day belongs to +the community, and if I wish to do anything other than the daily +routine, I must be dispensed by my superior. + +By the vow of chastity I was forbidden to think of a man or marriage. I +was not allowed to kiss and fondle children, especially male children, +or to kiss another sister. After a long absence, sisters may embrace and +greet each other by rubbing head-gears against the cheeks. I was not +allowed to enter the curtained-off apartment of another sister in the +dormitory. I was not allowed any more liberty towards even my mother or +any of my relatives than I was towards strangers. I may, as my book of +rule reads, see them for one-half an hour, upon permission from my +superior, and if the time is extended I must be dispensed by my superior +for the non-observance of this point of the "holy" rule. Now, when I had +this permission to speak to some of my relatives, or some one else, I +must never speak in a language not understood by the sister in near +surveillance. If these visits occur more than once or twice a year, it +is ample ground for humility, and mean, cutting things said by the +superior and sisters. This is also a breach of the vow of poverty, as +the time spent talking does not belong to the sister but to the +community. She is told that it is a bad example to others who may wish +the same privilege. It is a continual determined vigilance, keeping the +sisters from any communication with the outside world. The rule +particularly emphasizes that the sisters shall not keep birds or pet +animals, as it would take time, which is not hers, and divert her +affection which, as a sister spouse, must be given entirely to her +heavenly spouse, Jesus Christ. + +Another great teaching of this vow of chastity is modesty. A sister is +taught to keep her eyes modestly cast down, fold her hands in the big +sleeves of her garb when in the presence of the "opposite sex" (as men +are called), and never look them in the face any higher than the chin. I +tried this teaching for some time, but somehow Mother Nature was still +with me, and every once in a while I would take a quick look at a man +full in the face to see if he was good-looking, and if I could not see a +good-looking man, I would look at the priest to see if he was handsome. + +As an example for this virtue of modesty, we were told of the young +Jesuit priest, St. Aloysius, who was so good and pure and holy, that he +never looked his own mother full in the face. + +By the vow of obedience a sister is to yield entire obedience of +thought, word and understanding to her superior. The will of her +superior must be her will, believing that black was white if the +superior said so. Literally, she was like a corpse in her superior's +hands, and still a tool to work for the Roman Catholic system. What is +worse than mental slavery, the stultifying of all our intellectual +powers and bringing them under the despotic will of another, and this +behind the prison walls and barred doors of the Romish religious +convent? + +Obligations to convent life and practices crush all natural instinct. If +the sister desires to aim at the high "ideals" taught in the sisterhood, +she must abase and humiliate herself. If she has not the courage to make +a fool of herself, by abasing and humiliating herself, she must ask her +superior to give her some humiliating penance to suppress her feelings +of higher nature as proud and coming from the devil. The more sinful and +criminal a sister can believe herself in the eyes of God, and the more +deserving of prisonlike treatment, and as a worm under the feet of all +her companions, the more perfect and saintly she becomes in her own eyes +and in the eyes of her superior, who can then use her as a better tool +for the benefit of the system. + +Any one who knows anything about nuns knows that they are nearly all +like children, for under the ironclad, narrow and restricted rule, the +sisters retrograde from the day they enter, and as time goes on they +become as the rule itself--bitter and heartless, from a sense of +morbidness and from the unnatural conditions, circumstances and +environment surrounding them. There are the sisters who are childish and +silly; others who are the cunning hypocrite. The latter type become the +schemers among the sisters for the system, and believe me, they will +leave nothing undone to gain favor with the heads of the order and the +priests that they might gain some high office for themselves. + +For nearly a year after I took my vows, I remained at the Orphanage in +Vancouver. + +As you already know, I was raised on a ranch, and was accustomed to +being in the open air and having plenty of sunshine. These three years +of almost complete confinement in this institution, and the long hours +of hard, tedious work had begun to tell on my health. And, now as I +could hardly attend to my duties, I was transferred to an Indian +Mission at Tulalip, Washington, about June, 1884. + +I was at this Mission five years. The first eight months I worked in the +boys' department, assisting in the industrial training of about +seventy-five Indian boys. The part I had in training these boys was more +manual service than real instruction. But my labors kept me out of doors +considerably and at the end of the eight months, my health was +practically restored. + +I was then given charge of the girls' department of the Mission where +the work was again very confining. + +Imagine, if you can, the terrible conditions I had to contend with at +this school. There were about sixty girls, ranging in age from five to +twenty-five years. They all slept in one large dormitory with beds so +close together, that there was barely passing space, and I occupied one +corner of that room. The accommodations for cleanliness were very poor, +and the stench in that sleeping room was simply nauseating, and there +was no remedy for it, with the existing conditions. In the morning, I +had to dress about twenty-five of these girls, and care for the running, +mattering sores of many, who were diseased (scrofulous), with an +ointment supplied for that purpose by the government physician. + +After this doctor had made a few visits and I had become a little +acquainted with him, the superior came to me and asked me about our +conversation. When she found out that we had talked about some things +that were not strictly business, I was not allowed to be in the room +when he came again. She told me that I should be very careful around a +man, that I might lose my vocation. + +I had to take my turn in the laundry nearly every week, and I remember +one instance which occurred which will illustrate how the Roman Catholic +system makes a "mountain out of a mole hill" and causes so much sorrow +over practically nothing. I had damaged a little red-flannel shirt +belonging to one of the children, while washing it, and I never heard +the end of this terrible thing until after I wrote to my father and +asked him to send me five dollars, that I might replace it. A very +trivial thing in itself but the superior kept talking about it, causing +me very much sorrow and grief that I shed many tears over it. + +While I was at this Mission, I received a letter from my father +informing me that my mother was very ill, and that in all probability +would soon pass away. This letter had been addressed to Vancouver, and +my Mother Superior had opened it and knew the contents. When she +forwarded it to me, she inclosed a letter to my superior at Tulalip, +telling her to tell me that if I could get some one to take my place and +get the money necessary for my fare from my father, she would give me +permission to go home to see my mother before she died. She knew very +well that it was an impossibility to get any other to take my place, as +I did not have the assigning of sisters to work of any nature, and none +but sisters were allowed in the Mission. The answer was simply that my +mother died and I never saw her after the day I left home to enter the +"holy" convent. + +Again, after four years of confining work in this department of the +mission, my health absolutely failed. I asked to be transferred to some +other house where I might have a chance to recuperate. About the first +of September, 1889, I was transferred to the Indian Mission at +Colville, Washington. At this Mission I had charge of the sewing and +assisted in the dining-room. The responsibility was much less than it +had been at Tulalip, and, having been relieved of this strain, and +depressing conditions, I gradually regained my health. + +I had now spent a little over six years in Mission work, and being +naturally of an active disposition, both mentally and physically, I knew +that I could not endure this banishment much longer. I say "banishment" +very thoughtfully, for banishment it was. No companions with whom to +converse, as the other sisters in these Missions were generally +foreigners who could speak very little English, and as for being +companions they were little better than no one. Then, the work was very +tiresome and monotonous, with no physical exercise attached to it, +nearly all being done in a sitting posture, with nothing to use or +enlighten the mentality. + +So, realizing these conditions, I asked to be given some work of a more +active nature. And, about the first of December, 1890, I was transferred +to the Sacred Heart Hospital, Spokane, Washington. + +I was at this hospital only a short time, but while there I had charge +of the laundry, which meant doing most of the work in that department, +and also charge of a ward of fourteen patients, regardless of the fact +that I had never had any previous experience of this nature. And, +believe me, there were many trying, disagreeable experiences both to +myself and the sick, due to my being untrained. + +I recall one instance when I nearly injured myself for life lifting a +patient when I did not know how to handle a person in a helpless +condition. My back was crippled for about a month, but they say +experience is the best teacher, and I had had my first lesson of this +nature. + +A physician had prescribed a seidlitz powder for a patient I was +attending, but I had never given one and did not know how to proceed. I +asked the sister superior, and then endeavored to carry out her orders. +I took two large tumblers half filled with water and a powder in each. +Hurriedly I poured the contents of one tumbler into the other and the +effervescing saline ran all over the poor man and bed, while he was +making desperate efforts to drink a little. All the men in the ward +raised their heads to see the experiment and enjoyed a hearty laugh, +while the patient received his prescription and a shower bath, both at +the same time. + +This was one time in my convent life that I received what I had asked +for, in fact, it was just the opposite extreme of what I had been +experiencing in my previous Mission. I was on my feet from morning till +night, and even for recreation and diversion, I was sent to the kitchen +to assist in the work there. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + + MY BEGGING EXPEDITION. + ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL--ROUTINE OF A SISTER. + + +During the spring of 1891, the Province of the Sisters of Charity of +Providence of the Pacific Northwest was divided, and by an order from +the head Mother House at Montreal, the sisters were to remain in the +provinces where they were when the division went into effect. I was +ordered to report to the Mother House at Vancouver, Washington. This was +in March, 1891. On my way to Vancouver from Spokane, I had to pass +through Portland, Oregon, and while there the order went into effect, +and the sister superior of St. Vincent's Hospital claimed me as a +subject of the Oregon Province. + +I was at St. Vincent's Hospital about a month, when I was transferred to +Astoria, Oregon, to St. Mary's Hospital, where I practiced on typhoid +patients and became more efficient in laundry work, for a little over a +year. + +In June, 1892, I was missioned to St. Mary's Hospital, New Westminster, +B. C. My duties in this hospital were practically the same as in the +other hospitals I had worked in. + +It was while I was at this hospital that I was sent on my principal +begging expedition. On July fourth, 1892, Sister Ethelbert and myself +were commissioned to go north to the logging camps on the islands in the +Gulf of Georgia (near Alaska) to secure contributions in the name of +Charity for the Roman Catholic Church and to sell tickets for ten +dollars each, which would entitle the holder to care in St. Mary's +Hospital, New Westminter, B. C., for a specified time. + +The hardship and terrors of this trip are indescribable. Crossing the +stormy straights in small canoes, camping out at night in the wildest +woods, our lives were endangered many times. Arriving at the camps at +all hours of the night, tired, wet, cold and hungry; being lifted into +bunks by the men when we were so cold, in fact nearly frozen, that we +could hardly move; being carried on the backs of the men across muddy +and wet places where the water was too shallow for the canoe, or boat, +to land. Oh, yes, in the convent we were taught to be so modest--modesty +to the very extreme, but it is all right, in the Roman Catholic Church, +to send sisters to such places as this, where, as some of the men told +me, they had not seen a woman for from three to eight years. It was all +right in the Roman Catholic Church because we were getting the money for +the fat living of the priests and to enrich the coffers of the Pope of +Rome. Believe me, dear reader, no benefit do the sisters ever get from +the hardships and indignities imposed upon them on a trip of this +nature. + +[Illustration: _Sister Ethelbert, my companion on the "begging trip" to +the Gulf of Georgia, near Alaska. She told me this was her seventh trip +to this part of the country on a mission of this nature. She died at the +age of thirty-six years._] + +At one camp we visited, the men refused to keep us over night, so the +men who had rowed us all day, began to row us to the next camp. About +ten o'clock in the night, a storm arose, and we had to land, as it was +too rough to go farther. The shore space was very limited, as there were +huge mountains on one side and the breakers on the other. Dry wood was +very scarce so the fire we had was little better than none at all. There +were four of us--two sisters and two men--and all the covering we had +was one double blanket, with the rough, rocky shore for a bed. About two +o'clock in the morning, the storm subsided and we embarked again and +continued our journey, arriving at the next camp about four o'clock. Two +of the workmen very kindly gave us their bunk, but because of the cold +there was very little sleep. When we arose, the Chinese cook took us to +the kitchen and had us warm our feet in the large oven. He was a very +good and kind sympathetic friend for he looked so sorry for us and said, +"You have hard time." + +Since I had to go begging, I was very pleased to have Sister Ethelbert +for a companion because I knew that she was not a trouble-maker, but a +truly good and sisterly person. I had hungered and longed for many years +to be with some sister that I could talk with on some other than the +written religious subjects and I was sure that this was the opportunity. +I tried to talk to her, and she would smile at me, and she tried to talk +to me, and I would smile at her. It was very apparent that our +vocabulary was very limited and simple, when it came to talking on +outside subjects. It was not till some years later that I realized why +this condition existed. It was from the long silence and suppression, of +not only speech, but our very thoughts, having been in bondage so long. + +We were away from St. Mary's Hospital just three weeks and brought back +a little over eleven hundred dollars in checks and cash. Is it any +wonder that Rome can build such magnificent institutions? + +As a result of the exposure and hardships on this trip I contracted +sickness from which I did not completely recover during the remainder of +my convent life. And oh, if I could only explain what it means to be a +sick sister! I was not receiving the proper care, so I wrote to my +Mother House, located in Portland, Oregon, pleading that something might +be done for me. I waited for three weeks for an answer, but received +none. I wrote to my Superior again, and told her that if the community +could not give me the care I needed, I would write to my father and ask +him to see that I received medical assistance. This was a very bold +thing for a sister to do, but I was certainly very sick and little did I +care what the community would do to me. + +When the Mother Superior received this letter, I was immediately +recalled to the Mother House by telegram. I arrived at the Mother House, +St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, on the seventh day of July, 1893. + +I received fairly good care for a short time; then I was handed a +picture of our suffering Lord, and told by the Mother Provincial, Sister +Mary Theresa, to practice resignation and make novenas to this +miraculous picture for help. (Novena means nine days' prayer.) + +For years I was not sick enough to be confined to my bed, although I +should have been there many times when I was drudging away, working for +the Church of Rome. A sick sister need not look for any care until she +is about ready to pass to the Great Beyond. The climax of my sickness +came many years later when I had to submit to an operation. + +During the first eight months I was at St. Vincent's Hospital, I had +very little use of my left hand and arm. I thought it was partial +paralysis. A very prominent physician of the hospital staff, whose name +I purposely withhold, diagnosed my case and gave it a technical name, +which my unintelligible mind could not comprehend. But in my presence he +told Sister Mary Bonsecours, who was my officer and who had received +orders to see what the doctor could do for me, that I would never be any +better. Nevertheless, he prescribed for me which improved my condition +to a certain extent. + +In this condition I assisted in the caring of patients, doing the best I +could, experimenting, as it were, and learning a little here and there +at the expense of the suffering sick. We had no instructors or books on +nursing until after I had been there about three years, when we were +furnished one book, a manual of nursing, and whenever a sister was lucky +enough to get it she would keep it until some other sister would have a +chance to "swipe" it. A sister once "swiped" it from me, and it took me +eight months to get a chance to "swipe" it back. Also, about this time +we were allowed to attend certain lectures given by the staff doctors. +One of the "certain" lectures we were _not_ allowed to attend were those +given on maternity, and yet the sisters were held responsible for any +errors in caring for cases of this nature. To sum it all up in short, we +were instructed to pray that God would bless us and our work and that +nothing wrong would happen to the patients. + +During the first six years of my experience at St. Vincent's Hospital +and after I had recovered sufficiently from my sickness, I was sent to +St. Mary's Hospital, Astoria, Oregon, off and on, for short periods to +assist in the work there. + +In 1895 the new magnificent, six-story brick St. Vincent's Hospital was +finished, and we took charge in September of that year. + +Here I had charge of ten rooms, and had the serving of two meals daily +to the entire floor, which meant about fifty patients, and the only +assistance I had was one girl who was neither sister nor nurse, but very +good and kind to me. Besides these duties, I had to take my turn in the +laundry, do sewing, and above all else, attend to the numberless +religious obligations. + +In order that you might realize of what these numberless religious +obligations consisted, I will here give a program of the daily routine +which I had to follow throughout my Sisterhood career: + + Rise at 5:00 A.M. + Morning prayer, followed by meditation 5:30 A.M. + Mass 6:00 A.M. + Breakfast 7:00 A.M. + Spiritual reading 9:00 A.M. + Examination of conscience 11:25 A.M. + Dinner 11:30 A.M. + Beads 11:35 A.M. + Recreation for one hour beginning at 12:00 noon + Spiritual reading 1:30 P.M. + Prostration 3:00 P.M. + Meditation 4:00 P.M. + Examination of conscience 5:55 P.M. + Supper 6:00 P.M. + Beads 6:25 P.M. + Recreation for one hour beginning at 7:00 P.M. + Evening prayer and examination of conscience 8:00 P.M. + Followed by a visit to the blessed Sacrament in the Chapel. + Retire--lights out and silence 9:00 P.M. + +[Illustration: _Caught in the Act of Kissing the Floor, a Very Common +Penance for the Sisters in the Order I Was a Member of._] + +In addition to these, the following must be observed: + +Every hour of the day when the clock strikes, each sister must rise to +her feet and say, "Let us remember that we are in the holy presence of +God. Blessed be the hours of the birth, death and resurrection of our +Lord, Jesus Christ. O my God, I give thee my heart, grant me the grace +to pass this hour, and the rest of this day in thy holy love and without +offending thee," and one "Hail, Mary." + +An hour each week must be spent in the chapel in honor of the Blessed +Sacrament. + +From fifteen to thirty minutes every Friday evening after evening prayer +for the exercise called the "culp," in some orders called "chapter." +This exercise consists of each sister kneeling before the superior, and +all the other sisters charges her with every mean, contemptible, petty +wrong, usually a breach of some rule of the order, which they have +remarked in her during the past week. Then the "culprit" so charged +acknowledges some of these faults, adds a few more herself, and, kissing +the floor, asks a penance of the superior. The superior has the +authority to impose any of the accustomed penances. + +One Sunday of each month is called "retreat day," which means additional +prayer and devotion, that the sister may be fortified spiritually for +the next month. During this day there are three meditations in addition +to the regular daily routine. Each sister must present herself to the +superior to tell her spiritual advancement and the difficulties she has +had in the work. Sometimes all the sisters do not have the time to +appear before the superior on this day, but she must do so the first +opportunity she has during the week, and then it is generally a +reprimand for not being there sooner. This retreat day is ended with a +long Te Deum, which means a canticle of thanksgiving. + +An explanation of some of the daily exercises will no doubt be of +interest to most of my readers. + +The morning meal is eaten in silence, except on Feast days or unusual +occasions. During the noon and evening meal some sister is appointed to +read, generally from the "Lives of the Saints" or "Roman Martyrology," +narrations very repulsive and revolting to nature. In this manner we +mortify the senses. If we wish something passed while we are eating, we +make signs for it. Ten minutes is about the time spent in consuming the +gout defying food supplied us. There is a dish-pan with about two quarts +of warm water in it on the table, and the first sister finished eating +has this pan passed to her and she washes her dishes, dries them and +places them in her private drawer in the table at her place. From six to +ten sisters wash their own dishes in this same water, and no difference +if some of these sisters are diseased, as I have seen them, they would +be wasting time to make a change of water, and that would be a breach of +the vow of poverty. In all my thirty-one years of convent life, I never +had a chair with a back to it more than a dozen times in the refectory +(as the dining-room is called). It was either benches or stools. + +The following will show the spirit in which a sister should receive her +food, given at my spiritual instruction during retreat: + +MEALS. + +"Attention and devotion in saying the prayers before and after meals, +eyes modestly cast down, a deep sense of my own misery, a pure intention +in this animal exercise. Never to pick or choose of what comes to table. +If anything is disagreeable, to thank God for having given me an +opportunity of mortification." + +According to rule, we are allowed two hours' recreation each day, which, +in reality, are about the busiest two hours of the day. Oh, no, Rome +does not give her sisters any two hours' real recreation, or rest, +during her long hours of labor. Such work as preparing fruit for canning +or vegetables for cooking, folding clothes that are often very damp, +picking over unsanitary gauze, tearing rags for carpet, picking over +feathers from old pillows, and other undesirable work is done during +these two hours; and then they say the sisters have plenty of recreation +and rest. + +At three o'clock every afternoon the sister must repair to some private +place for profound prostration. That is, she must kneel and bend forward +and say: "Jesus Christ became obedient unto death, even unto the death +of the cross. Son of God, dying upon the cross for the salvation of +souls, we adore thee; eternal Father, we offer Thee this, thy divine +Son; accept, we beseech thee, His merits in behalf of the suffering +souls in purgatory, for the conversion of all poor sinners, and of all +in their agony." In addition to this prayer, she must say the "Hail! +Mary" and the "Our Father" three times each, or remain kneeling the time +it would take to say them and meditate on the prayer said. Then, this +exercise is completed by kissing the floor. + +Three times each day, five minutes is spent in examining our conscience. +We write in a little book provided for that purpose, our faults and +imperfections. Before going to confession we are supposed to look over +this book and in this manner we forget nothing the priest should know. + +A bell called the "regulation bell" calls us to each and every one of +these "holy" exercises, and no matter what the sister is doing when +this bell rings, even if a patient is sorely in need of her care, she +must stop and go to her religious duties. If she is late to any of them, +it means punishment, either by reprimand or penance, or maybe both. My +readers can draw their own conclusions as to the care a patient gets +from a sister-nurse, when these religious duties comes before the duties +of nursing. + +One of the great inconveniences and discomforts of a sister-nurse is the +clothes which she is compelled to wear. The garb which I wore for +thirty-one years weighed about fifteen pounds, and there is no change of +weight in this "holy habit" for cold or warm weather. Our petticoats and +stockings are the only garments that are changed in weight for the +different temperatures. We are allowed two garbs at a time, but a sister +wears one nearly all the time until it is worn out. All the cleaning +these garbs get is a little brushing with soap and water, and when it +gets discolored, it is dyed to its original color. One of these garbs I +had for twelve years, and when I discarded it, there was only a small +piece of the original left. Think of the cleanliness and sanitation of +these poor girls, wearing such clothes, perspiring over the sick, and +from cooking and doing laundry work, and even being under the rule of +asking permission to take a bath. Over all this when we cared for the +sick, we tied a large white apron, slipped on a pair of white sleeves, +and then the patients would say, "How sanitary these sisters were." +Poor, deluded public; poor, secluded girls; they are not to blame, they +do the very best they can under the gag-rule of Rome. Is it any wonder +to you that the average sister dies between the ages of twenty-one and +thirty-five years, when they are compelled to live in this manner and +endure the terrible practices I have mentioned in this chapter? + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + + HOW I EDUCATED MYSELF. + I BECOME SUPERINTENDENT OF THE THIRD FLOOR AT ST. VINCENT'S. + + +In the order of the Sisters of Charity of Providence, the rules restrict +the members to certain reading. The books we were allowed to read were +those on the Roman Catholic religious practices, such as "Christian +Perfection" by the Jesuit, Alphonsus Rodriguez, a set of books on +"Meditation" by St. Ignatius, also a Jesuit, a book on the "Conferences +of St. Vincent de Paul," a prayer book, a manual of community prayers, +and a book of rule. If a sister should wish to read any other books, +outside of a few like these I have named, she must have permission from +her superior, even to the reading of "The Lives of the Saints." + +The reading of secular, or profane, as it is called, books are never +allowed under any conditions. No magazines, newspapers or periodicals +are they ever allowed to read. If there happened to be an article in +some religious magazine or paper that it was decided to let the sisters +read, it was cut out and handed to them, hereby having permission to +read it. Think of the terrible darkness the poor girls are kept in, +with nothing to develop their mental faculties, nothing to read except +the few chosen books, and when you have read one you have read all, and +this over and over again, year in and year out. + +When I came to St. Vincent's Hospital, I had been in the order about +twelve years. Twelve years of almost silence; twelve years of Latin +prayers; twelve years of communion and confession; twelve years of Roman +convent-slavery; twelve years of retrogression. + +I found myself almost lost as to how to talk intelligibly to the doctors +and patients. My vocabulary was certainly very limited. I felt the grave +necessity of doing something to aid me in my work. But how? That was the +great question in my mind for some time. I had been taught that God +would punish me if I dared to read anything except what I was allowed. +And, believe me, even twelve years' experience in the convent had +changed my views of Romanism but very little, if any. + +Finally, one day while on the daily routine, a newspaper came to my +notice, and I dared to read just one line. I waited a day or two to see +if God would punish me. Then, when nothing extraordinary happened, I +dared to read a few lines more, and I waited a few days again to see +what God would do. + +At last the opportunity came. In one of the rooms I found a book, by the +name of "At the Mercy of Tiberius." I dared to read it, and oh, how I +enjoyed that novel. It was the first book of that nature, profane +reading, that I had ever read. But trouble was brewing. Some sister had +seen me reading, and although she did not know exactly what it was, she +knew that it was not a religious book, and she reported me to the +superior. When the superior asked me about it, I told her I had been +reading a book, where it could be found and offered to go and get it for +her. But I had her "bluffed" and she told me to never mind. + +It took me about six months to read this first book, as I had to steal +away and read for only a few minutes at a time. Where do you suppose I +went to do this un-Roman, "un-Christian" act of endeavoring to enlighten +my mind? In dark closets, bath-rooms, and in fact any place I could +secret myself, so I would not be seen by some of the other sisters. For +it would mean a reprimand and very often a penance, and the sister thus +charged with having broken this point of the "holy" rules, is held under +suspicion. + +For some time after this it was a problem to my mind as to how I was to +obtain other reading. In time I made friends among those who came to the +hospital, and very often these good people, mostly Protestant or +non-Catholic, would present me with some little token, showing their +appreciation of the kindness shown them, as is done to most sisters. +Instead of accepting money or other gifts, which by rule had to be +turned over to the superior, I would ask them to give me some book, +generally leaving the nature of it to their discretion, if I thought I +could trust them. Then I would warn them to be very careful when they +gave it to me that no sister saw them do so, as it would mean trouble +for me. + +In this manner I received much good reading, books that were very +instructive. When a book was too large to carry around in my big +pockets, I would cut or tear off a piece of it, and throw the remaining +portion on some old, dusty cupboard in the attic, until I had read the +piece torn off, then get a small ladder or box and tear off another +piece, and so on until I had finished reading the entire book. One good +friend gave me a small dictionary, which was a great help to me. Another +gave me a book of word study, which I covered with a prayer-book cover +and studied in chapel. This was a case of "Johnny Morgan wasn't here." + +By stealing, thieving and lying, so to speak, in this manner I read and +studied for a great many years, and I credit my final escape from +darkness and ignorance largely to the fact that I had independence +enough to read and friends kind enough to give me these books. + +During the summer of 1899, I was appointed to the superintendency of the +third floor of St. Vincent's Hospital. In this position, which I held +for twelve years, I found a few more minutes occasionally to read, and +to exercise the little independence I possessed. The result, the more I +read, the more independent I became, and this was one of the grave +charges brought against me when I was at last transferred, or, I might +say, dragged from Portland. + +One of the great responsibilities of the office of superintendent was the +caring of the priest's apartment which was on my floor. There was the +chaplain of the hospital who resided in this apartment, and he nearly +always had from one to four "wafer God manufacturers" visiting him, and +you may be sure it was not a small care to see that these "gentlemen" +had everything of the best, principally in the dining-room. I always had +to take particular care to see that there was plenty of cream for their +tables when possibly some of the patients had to do without or take +skimmed milk, and many times the over supply would sour before it could +be used. I just mention cream, but it was the same about many other +things, it was always the very best of everything obtainable--cigars and +liquors included. Yes, I have carried many bottles of wine to these +priests, as well as carrying baskets of empty bottles down the back +stairs, that had been emptied by these "holy celibate men of God." A +large refrigerator was kept especially for this apartment with a large +padlock on the door. It might have contaminated these "holy men of God" +if their food had happened to have been mixed with that of a wicked +secular, you know. + +[Illustration: _St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Oregon, Where I Served +Eighteen Years of My Sisterhood Life._] + +Another very interesting feature of this new office was the care I had +to give sick priests. There was nearly always some priest occupying a +private room on my floor, sometimes sick, as they are only human and +susceptible to the same ills as others, but many times on "sick leave," +in other words, just plain drunk. Many times they would stay with us a +month at a time, and once I remember, one made a nice long stay of a +year, or more, but he was not drunk. I had to help these "gentlemen" +many times, when they were much more able to help themselves than I was. +But I was a woman, "a spouse of Christ," and these so-called men were +the "representatives of Christ," and that made the difference. + +Soon after I had received the appointment of officer of the third floor +there were many complaints from the patients and physicians about the +food and the manner in which it was prepared. So it was decided that +some of the sisters should go to a cooking school which was being +conducted by a woman by the name of Miss Porter, in the Exposition +Building, Nineteenth and Washington Streets. I happened to be one of the +chosen number, and we took a series of twelve lessons, principally on +preparing dainty dishes such as could be used for the sick. + +After I had completed this course, I was appointed to teach cooking to +the nurses in the training school and the young sisters in addition to +my other duties. I conducted this class from two to three-thirty in the +afternoon. + +Our rules prescribe that the hour from two to three be observed by +profound silence, and also that no sister shall partake of any food +outside of the dining-room without special permission from the superior. +During the teaching of this class on cooking, I was compelled to talk to +the sisters, and it was also quite necessary that they should talk to +me, in order that they could get the proper instruction. When they would +cook some dish I would request them to taste it, that they might judge +for themselves as to the seasoning. These were serious breaks of the +rules, and it caused trouble for me after I had been instructing the +class about six weeks. + +My young sister pupils plotted with the superior to cause my removal, +and wrote to the Mother Provincial, Sister Mary Theresa, who was at that +time in Oakland, California, instituting a new house of the order. +Sister Mary Theresa did not write to me about the matter, but took it up +with my superior, who came to me and said that there was so much +complaint about me causing the sisters to break the rule that she would +have to change me. She was going to take the superintendency of the +third floor away from me and send me to the basement to the fruit +cannery to teach cooking. I told her that I could not do that. I had +learned how to cook because she had wanted me to, and that if I was +going to teach it, I was going to teach it right; and if she would +delegate some other sister, I would teach her all I knew about cooking +and I would be through with it. But she did not want me to do that, she +wanted me to keep the class. + +I had done the very best I could with the class, and all this trouble +was caused, not because I was unsuccessful, but because the sisters +broke some of the rules of the order, which could not be avoided if they +wished to learn. The action of the superior had caused me much distress, +both of heart and mind, and with the assistance of two stewards of my +floor, I placed all the cooking utensils and supplies of the school in a +large box and sent it to the superior's room. For weeks she tried to +prevail upon me to take the school back, but I refused to have anything +more to do with it. + +This instance may not be very interesting to my readers, but I relate it +to show how little petty happenings cause so very much trouble, and very +often serious trouble for the poor girls in these institutions. There +are many more instances of this nature I could relate, but I do not care +to burden you with them. My action in this little matter caused me to be +looked upon with great suspicion and a certain amount of contempt from +the other sisters. It was this sort of treatment that caused me to write +notes of the cruelties I, with other sisters, had to endure. I expected +to give these notes to some trust-worthy friend to read after my death, +but for some unknown reason I kept them and have them at the present +time. + +About this time, also, I had a class of about twenty young sisters to +whom I taught what nursing I had acquired, principally from experience. +This was soon abandoned, for the reason that it interfered with evening +prayer and retirement at nine o'clock, the only time that could be found +during the day to hold the class. + +Of all the superstitious and pagan practices that enforces the vow of +obedience, is the traditional exercise of penances or penalties. The +most inhuman, unjust, humiliating and very often torturing punishments +are imposed upon the sisters for breaking any of the many childish +rules--rules that just as really and truly bind the poor victim as +though she was a criminal in the penitentiary. + +A sister is only human. The "holy" black garb she wears does not change +her. She is subject to the same sorrows, the same joys, the same love, +the same hate, the same humility, the same pain as you. But here in +these hellish, soul-destroying institutions, walled high "to keep the +Protestants out," they say, there is a system in vogue that holds women +in servitude--yes, slavery--and for failing to heed the "voice of God," +which is the voice of the priest, or superior, or the toll of the +religious bell, or the observance of the book of rule, there is a +penalty imposed, penalties such as will torture or humiliate the poor +subject. + +Some of the torturing penances are the wearing of the armlet--a chain +with little prongs on it to prick the flesh; the scourging of the bare +body with the "discipline" or cat-o'-nine-tails--constructed of heavy, +knotted cord; kneeling and praying with arms extended in the shape of a +cross; and the wearing of the chastity cord--constructed of heavy, +knotted cord. This practice ties up our virtues and keeps us chaste and +pure. + +Some of the humiliating penances are the kissing of the floor many times +a day, kissing the feet of our companions, fasting, silence, eating off +the floor, and many other little, petty practices and self-denials too +numerous to mention. + +Think of it, a system here in free, Protestant America, in this day of +advanced civilization, holding women in subjection and demanding +practices of this nature! + +To illustrate the teaching of this system in regard to penances, I wish +to quote from "St. Rita's Prayer Book," compiled by Rev. Chas. Ferina, +D.D., and this publication has the imprimatur cross of John M. Farley, +then Archbishop elect of New York. On pages 35-36: "She (St. Rita) +renounced her property in favor of the poor, renounced every earthly tie +to devote herself entirely to austere penance. She professed to have no +compassion for her body. She scourged herself thrice every day, the +first time being the longest and the instrument composed of little iron +chains. Vigils, hair-shirt, the discipline, and rigid fasts were the +arms used to afflict her body, knowing that penance is the only means of +expiation and salvation for fallen man, although our material age would +utterly ignore it. In changing her costume Rita had no need to change +her habits, for, as we have seen, as a girl, a wife and widow, she had +ever led a stainless life. Her aim now was to attain the height of +perfection. But amidst her penances, she had the sweetest consolations; +and during her lengthy prayers, her fervent colloquies with God, her +daily and nightly meditations on the passions of our Lord Jesus Christ, +rapt in her Creator, her soul totally absorbed in Him and almost +detached from her body, experienced heavenly delights." + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + + SACRAMENT OF PENANCE--MASS AND COMMUNION--EXTREME + UNCTION--INDULGENCES--ANNUAL RETREAT. + + +I have previously mentioned that I was compelled by rule to go to +confession every eight days. I wish to comment on this Sacrament of +Penance, as confession is called, and some of the other practices and +ceremonies of the Roman Catholic religion. + +Of all the practices that holds adherents to the Roman Catholic system, +the telling of the many faults to the so-called mediator between God and +man--the priest--stands paramount. Why not? Roman Catholics are raised +to think and believe that by confessing their sins to the man +representative of Christ in the confessional and receiving absolution, +God has also forgiven them. God's Word says in 1st Timothy, second +chapter, fifth verse, "For there is one God, and one mediator between +God and man, the man Christ Jesus." Not any representative of Christ, +but Christ Himself. + +The confessional box is a trap for the convent, and after the poor girls +are once there they are shackled more than ever in the faith of the +religion by the priest in the confessional. The girls abandon +themselves, body, heart and soul, to the instructions and directions of +this ungentlemanly man--for no true gentleman would ever ask the dirty, +filthy, indecent questions in public or private that these men ask many +of the girls and women in this so-called holy private place, the +confessional--this man, whom we, as sisters and Roman Catholics look to +as the mediator between us and God, often in the form of a drunken man. +Yes, I have known not a few, and have waited on them in my work at the +hospital for a great many years, and I cannot call to my mind one of +these "holy men of God" who did not partake of the best liquors +obtainable, and I have had to protect more than one from the people +there so there would be no scandal. + +Then to these liquor-soaked priests I was forced to turn and kneel to +confess my sins, to lay bare the innermost thoughts of my soul and most +sensitive feelings of the heart and then submit to the most humiliating, +shameful questions--so shameful and degrading that I am not permitted to +print them or to repeat them. + +The priest is the sister's only confident--she must talk to him on +subjects that she would not tell her mother. He is to her what Christ +would be if He would come from Heaven and sit there with her. He is her +justifier, as she is absolutely in his wily meshes and victimized in his +hellish power--for nothing less than hell on earth is the confessional +to sisters. It is the destroyer of womanly purity, womanly +refinement--destroying the higher instincts and ennobling qualities. A +sister does not talk in the confessional of what is best and noblest in +her, but is racking her brain all week preparing and gathering +everything that is mean, low, degrading, contemptible--digging up secret +things to tell and talk about to the priest. The thought of having to +stoop and grovel so low and worm-like is sickening, not only soul +sickening, but often agonizing physically to the extreme, in the act of +ejecting and getting rid of a vast amount of much imaginary wrong and +scruples. It keeps the mind poisoned and enslaved in the powers of +darkness, busily endeavoring to become sanctified on the mistaken road +of pagan degradation, dispair and hell. + +A form of beginning and finishing confession. This is precisely the same +form I used all my life in the church of Rome, but I will copy from +Deharbe's Catechism, translated from the German by a Father of the +Society of Jesus, of the Province of Missouri, published by Benziger +Brothers, Printers to the Holy Apostolic See, and with the Imprimatur of +John Card. McCloskey, then Archbishop of New York. Page 110, question +55: + +"How do you begin Confession? + +"Having knelt down, I make the sign of the cross and say: 'Bless me, +Father, for I have sinned. I confess to Almighty God, and to you, +Father, in His stead, that since my last confession, which was ... I +have committed the following sins.' (Here I confess my sins.)" + +Question 56. "How do you conclude your confession? + +"I conclude by saying, 'For these and all my other (P. III) sins which I +cannot at present call to mind, and also for the sins of my past life, +especially for ... I am heartily sorry. I most humbly ask pardon of God, +and penance and absolution of you, my Ghostly Father.'" + +Question 57. "What must you do then? + +"I must listen with attention to the advice which my Confessor may think +proper to give me, and to the Penance he enjoins; and whilst he gives +me absolution I must excite my heart to true sorrow." + +Now, if the priest is good and kind enough to say the magic words, "I +absolve the, etc." and absolve the penitent, he is just as pure and free +from sin, according to the Roman Catholic belief, as if he had submitted +to baptism, and he can go and sin again, so long as he will return to +the priest for absolution. + +Jeremiah J. Crowley, in his book, 'Romanism--A Menace to the Nation,' +tells of the "moral theology" which the priests have to study to become +priests, and which I think will interest my readers. Mr. Crowley was a +priest in the church of Rome for twenty years. + +Page 74. "Moral Theology of the Roman Catholic Church, printed in Latin, +a dead language, containing instructions for auricular confession, is so +viciously obscene that it could not be transmitted through the mails +were it printed in a living language; neither would priests and bishops +dare to propound said obscene matter in the form of questions to female +penitents if their fathers, husbands and brothers were cognizant of the +satanic evils lurking therein; in fact, they would cause the suppression +of auricular confession by penal enactment. + +* * * Confessors search the secrets of the home, and so are worshiped +there, and feared for what they know. + +(Page 76.) "If it is the purpose of state or government to prevent crime +and eradicate its causes, the whole of this diabolical system called the +Confessional, which is known to worm out the secrets of families, the +weaknesses of public men, and thereby get them under control--to either +silence them or make them active agents in the Roman Catholic +cause--above all, the debauching of maids and matrons by means of vile +interrogatories prescribed by Liguori, and sanctioned by the +Church--should be abrogated by a national law in every civilized country +on the globe." + +While I was a novice, the Master of Novices in his religious +instructions to the novices, told us that the worst Catholic stood a +better chance of saving his soul than the best Protestant, because the +Catholic, no matter how many or grievous the sins he might commit, could +confess them to the priest and be forgiven; while the Protestant, though +he might be a very good man, had no priest to confess his sins to, and +cannot be forgiven. Therefore, he dies in sin, as every man is sinful, +and is lost, for the Scripture says, "Nothing defiled can enter Heaven." + +Three things are necessary for absolution--contrition, confession and +penance. Of course, the priest pronounces the words of absolution before +the penance is performed, but the remission of the sins confessed is not +complete until the penance is performed. Every sin must be confessed to +the priest, the most secret and grievous, or there can be no remission, +according to the Roman Catholic teaching. + +With these teachings and this papal practice of confession you can +readily understand how this one sacrament of the Roman Catholic Church, +more than any other binds the people to it. Let me say as Mr. Crowley +said to the American brothers, husbands and fathers who have sisters, +wives and daughters being entrapped in this terror of all terrors, the +confessional--get educated on this subject. And let me say that when you +do, if there is any manhood in you, the confessional in the Roman +Catholic Church will cease. + +"Mass is the perpetual sacrifice of the New Law, in which Christ offers +Himself in an unbloody manner, as He once offered Himself in a bloody +manner on the Cross." (Deharbe's Catechism, page 98.) + +To hear mass, we are witnessing in a sort of "mummyfied" manner, a show +at the altar, which is lighted with candles, decorated with flowers, +costly images of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Saints, holy pictures, +relics of the saints, gold or silver ciboriums and ostensoriums, and +many other articles of altar and sanctuary use too many to enumerate. + +During this or other ceremonies, the priest is dressed in a long +oriental robe covered with a kimona-style surplice--which is often +nearly all costly lace--chasuble, cope, maniple, stole, mitre, and other +gaudy-colored, gold-fringed, embroidered pieces of apparel. + +The mass must be recited in Latin. The priest at the altar with his back +to the congregation, recites Latin prayers for from one-half to +three-quarters of an hour. During these prayers the act of +"transubstantiation" takes place. That is, the changing of the wine and +bread into the actual body, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ. That is +the actual belief of the Roman Catholic adherents, as in the creed of +Pope Pius V, it says, "I profess, likewise, that in the Mass there is +offered to God a true, proper and propitiatary sacrifice for the living +and the dead; and that in the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist there +is truly, really, and substantially the Body and Blood, together with +the soul and divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ; and that there is made a +conversion of the whole substance of the bread into the Body, and of the +whole substance of the wine into the Blood; which conversion the +Catholic Church calleth Transubstantiation. I also confess that under +either kind alone Christ is received whole and entire, and a true +sacrament." (Chamber's Ency., Collier 1890, under Roman Catholic +Church.) + +To receive communion, the sisters in the convents where I have been, +marched to the altar by twos, knelt and received the "body of Christ," +but never the "blood." No one is allowed any of the wine, or "blood," +except the priest or "substitute Christ." + +If, during this ceremony, a crumb of the "body of Christ" should happen +to drop on the communion cloth, that spot must be marked, and after the +ceremony is completed, the priest sprinkles some "holy water" on the +spot, says a few Latin words, makes a few signs with his "holy hands," +then it is purified, and whatever is used in this purification is +burned, or sometimes washed. The Corporal, which is a piece of linen +used for handling the "body and blood of Christ" in the mass, must +always be washed or rinsed by the priest before it goes to the laundry, +because the sisters who do the work in the laundries have not "holy +hands," and the priest's fingers have been consecrated and are therefore +"holy." + +In speaking on transubstantiation, William Cathcart, in his book, "The +Papal System," says (pages 170-171), "The priests scorn the idea that +there could be any figure in the declaration: 'This is my body,' but +when Paul says: 'For as often as you shall eat and _drink the chalice_,' +they must grant that it is not the _chalice_ but its _contents_ that are +to be drunk. If it is not a figurative expression, the priests of Rome +should swallow the cup as well as the contents. The words, 'I am the +vine, I am the door,' are literal if the expression is not figurative, +'This is my body.' No community would suffer more than the Catholic +Church from a non-figurative interpretation of every scripture word. In +the Catholic New Testament, Matt. xvi. 22, 23, it is said: 'And Peter +taking him began to rebuke him, saying: 'Lord, be it far from thee, this +shall not be unto thee'; who turning said to Peter: 'GO BEHIND ME, +SATAN, THOU ART A SCANDAL UNTO ME, because thou savourest not the things +that are of God, but the things that are of men.' If the words, 'This is +my body,' must be taken literally, we would mildly insist that Christ's +address to Peter shall be taken literally too when He said to him: 'Go +behind me, Satan, thou art a scandal unto me.' According to that +interpretation, Peter is the chief of devils, and the Church of Rome, +built on Simon, is founded on Beelzebub himself. A literal +interpretation of the words, 'This is my body,' leads to sacred +cannibalism; and of the saying in Matt. xvi. 22, 23, makes Peter the +devil, and Lucifer the foundation of the Papal Church. A figurative view +of both passages is the true one." + +"Extreme Unction is a Sacrament, in which by the annointing with holy +oil and by the prayers of the priest, the sick receive the grace of God, +for the good of their souls, and often also of their bodies." (Deharbe's +Catechism, Page 114.) + +Extreme Unction is commonly known as the Last Sacrament of the Roman +Catholic Church. It is administered only when there is danger of death. + +I often had to prepare the dying for this sacrament. The articles used +were a crucifix, holy water, lighted candles, a piece of bread, and five +"wads" of absorbing cotton. The priest would come, unwrap his silk bag +containing the holy oil (chrism), dip the cotton in the holy oil and +apply to the parts of the body where the five senses are located--the +forehead, to cleanse the mind of the sins of thought; the eyes, for the +sins committed by the sight; the mouth, for the sins of speech; the +ears, for the sins of hearing; and the hands and feet, for the sins of +feeling. The last members of the poor suffering, I often had a difficult +time to get handy for the priest to apply his chrism, particularily in +paralysis or accident cases. During all the ceremony the priest is +reciting Latin prayers. + +The piece of bread is for the priest to cleanse his fingers after the +ceremony. It must be destroyed, together with the cotton used, by fire +so that no particle of the holy oil will be desecrated. + +This sacrament is supposed to help the soul of the person receiving it +to heaven, but it does not keep him from the torments of purgatory. + +Before a person is entitled or can accept this sacrament he must be +baptized in the Roman Catholic Church. The sisters in the hospital must +do all in their power to convert Protestants to the Roman Catholic faith +before death. I was instructed that I was not a secular nurse, but a +religious and Sister of Charity, and as such it was my duty to convert +all Protestants and non-Catholics possible. + +I remember one very interesting case of this kind that happened soon +after I went to St. Vincent's Hospital. My officer, Sister Mary +Bonsecours, requested me to go with her to a room occupied by a +Methodist lady who was dying, and she would show me how to make +converts. In addressing the lady, among other things, she said that the +Roman Catholic Church was the only true church. All who were not +baptized in it would not be saved and would surely never see God. The +lady simply remarked that she was satisfied with her religion. About +the third time I accompanied the sister to the lady's room, she was +passing into the last agony, and the sister leaned over her and shouted +into her ear that her soul was going to hell forever for not being a +Roman Catholic. That is the manner in which many of the sisters endeavor +to obtain the patient's consent for baptism into the Roman Catholic +Church, and if they are yet rational, they are entitled to the last +sacrament, Extreme Unction. + +A very convenient practice for the Roman Catholic adherents is that of +gaining Indulgences. + +"An Indulgence is a remission of the temporal punishment due to our +sins, which the church grants outside of the Sacrament of Penance." +(Deharbe's Catechism, Page 112.) + +"Can Indulgences be applied also to the Souls in Purgatory?" + +"Yes, all those which the Pope has declared to be applicable to them." +(Deharbe's Catechism, Page 113.) + +"Temporal punishment due to our sins" is that which we have to suffer +here on earth or in purgatory. This includes the penance imposed upon +the penitent by the priest after confession. If the penitent is truly +contrite for his crime, the priest has the privilege to relax the +penance and grant indulgence, that is, he cannot be granted indulgence +unless he is in a "state of grace," which is after having confessed and +having been absolved, and fulfilled the requirements of the absolution. + +One of the means of gaining indulgences for the sisters was the saying +of short prayers, for each one said, so many days indulgence being +gained. For instance, for saying: + +"My Jesus, mercy! Mary, help!" 200 days' indulgence. + +"Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love." 300 days' indulgence. + +"Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation." 300 days' indulgence. + +If we should have some friend or relative dead whom we thought was in +purgatory, we could offer these prayers, with many others, for them and +in that manner shorten their days of torment in that middle region, as +well as shorten our own sufferings there. + +Once each year every sister is required to spend eight days in what is +called "annual retreat." That is, eight days' religious exercises and +spiritual instructions by a priest--generally a Jesuit priest in the +order I was a member of--conferences, the performance of penances, etc. + +The priest gives five spiritual instructions each day of this retreat, +each one lasting about an hour. We must keep absolute silence during +these eight days, except to speak to the Mother Provincial on our +shortcomings and to the priest in confession. At this confession the +poor sister is supposed to tell all the wrongs and sins committed during +the past year, and hours are spent in preparing and waiting, kneeling +outside the confessional box, crouching in fear and trembling, hoping +and praying that she may escape some of the indignities of this terrible +exercise. + +At these "retreats" the sisters were allowed to take notes of the +spiritual instructions, and I will copy from some of the notes I took. +These instructions were given by "Father" McGuckin at the Mother House +at Vancouver, Washington, on the subject of "Poverty." + +"It is not according to the spirit of poverty if we think we must +require a remedy for every little ache or suffering or pain. We must +bear those things with Christian fortitude without a remedy or +alleviation. We must not make a superfluous use of things, even of +things we are allowed to have for our use of necessity. If we have +things that we are attached to, we should take them to the superior, +even if she should make us take them back, then we have made the +sacrifice, and God accepts the will for the deed. + +"Why deprive ourselves of that merit? There is nothing small in regard +to poverty, even to a piece of thread. We cannot be too scrupulous in +detaching ourselves from the world and ourselves. + +"The things of the community do not belong to us and we have no right to +anything at all nor to dispose of anything--everything belongs to God +and should be used as such and taken care of just the same as the sacred +vestments. We have no right to make any agreements with any person in +the world, where we, personally, would have any responsibility, for we +have nothing and it would be shifting the responsibility upon the +community. + +"We cannot accept a present for ourselves without permission, but we can +and ought, whenever no condition is expressed, with the intention to +give it to the superior to dispose of for the congregation. We must +never refuse an offer when it is for the congregation. It is our duty to +accept and let that person do his good work. Every congregation is +generally or always in need of means to perform good works. Let +everybody contribute to good. + +"We must do our work with anxiety or solicitude, doing our best. Cast +your care on the Lord and He will take care of you." + +In this chapter I have endeavored to explain some of the many practices +and ceremonies of the Roman Catholic system, as I have found that there +are very few Protestants who understand the import of these in the Roman +Catholic religion. + +The Roman Catholic definition for "ceremonies of the Church," is +"Certain significant signs and actions, ordained by the Church for the +celebration of the Divine Service." (Deharbe's Catechism, Page 127.) So +you see that these various ceremonies must be observed by the Roman +Catholics because the church says so, not that Christ instituted any +such practices while He was here. And, whenever the _Church_ wishes, she +can add a few more to her already long list of ceremonies, and the Roman +Catholic must believe in it and practice it, or he cannot continue to be +Roman Catholic. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + + MY TRIP TO THE GENERAL MOTHER HOUSE + + +The sisters of the order to which I belonged were given a visit to the +Mother House in Montreal, Canada, once during their sisterhood life, +providing they could outlive their turn, as the older sisters came +first. This was a great privilege for the sisters, an opportunity to +drink deep in their souls the spirit of "holiness" emanating from the +saintly sisters who had been spiritually formed and perfected in +conventual practices--the Mother Foundresses of the Order. + +I will now tell you how I received this privilege. + + * * * * * + +My father died in 1896, and when his estate was settled I received +$500.00 in cash. It was understood long before this between the sisters +and myself that when he died, if I would receive anything from him, I +would pay my dowry of $300.00 to the community. Out of the $500.00 I +received from him, I paid my promised $300.00 to the community, and +placed the remaining $200.00 on deposit at St. Vincent's Hospital for +safe keeping, as I had promised it to the Abbott of Mt. Angel College +for the education of a nephew of mine. + +While this money was on deposit at the hospital, the Superior General, +Mother Antoinette, tried to induce me to take my trip to the Mother +House. There were several sisters who wanted the office I filled at that +time, superintendent of the third floor, and they also thought it was a +good time for me to go on this trip. I could see that it was the $200.00 +and my office they were after, so I refused to take the trip at that +time. + +A few years later, 1907, Sister Rita and myself decided it was then time +for us to go to the Mother House, so we began to plan in order that we +would not be refused when we asked permission of the Superior General, +Mother Antoinette. + +Sister Rita had been at the hospital all the years I had been there, and +we had become very friendly and chummy--that is, as friendly and chummy +as sisters can be. We had agreed not to make trouble for each other by +telling tales to the superior, and this agreement made it possible for +us to come together on some common, sisterly interests with just a +little less suspicion. So, on account of this friendly feeling, and +because we could talk on a few subjects other than the _Sainte Vierge_ +and miraculous medals, we were determined to take the trip together. + +We made our desire known to one of the leading doctors of St. Vincent's +Hospital, whose name I purposely withhold, and he promised to see the +officials of the transportation companies, and arrange, if possible, for +our transportation. He returned with a very favorable report, and then +we asked Mother Antoinette for the permission to go to Montreal, which +was granted. Our doctor friend told us that we should visit New York +while in the East, and asked us if we would go if he would get +transportation. We told him we certainly would if we could get the +consent of the Superior General. He informed us a little later that +arrangements had been made for the trip to New York. He then suggested +that we should return by way of the South, but we feared that we could +not get the consent of the officer of the order. Mother Antoinette did +not care about giving us the permission to take the trip to New York and +through the South, but she knew that the transportation had been +arranged, and that Sister Rita and myself were popular with the patients +and doctors at the hospital, so she consented, fearing that if she did +otherwise it would injure the interests of the institution with the +business people and doctors of Portland, who were our friends. + +As soon as our many friends learned of our plans to go East, they very +readily came to our rescue with money for our berths, meals and other +expenses while stopping at the various cities we expected to visit. One +very good friend of Sister Rita's gave her a check of $200.00. She also +had some money from her relatives and friends. I had received some money +from relatives and from my friends, and this, together with some "Johnny +Morgan" money made several hundred dollars we had between us. I had +heard of sisters taking trips East with the so-called "Johnny Morgan" +money, and I had also seen one of the superiors of St. Vincent's, Sister +Frederick, send presents which had been given to me and been turned over +to her by me as our rule prescribes, to her people in Canada, so I +decided to use my "Johnny Morgan" teaching now, and I found it very +handy. A nurse friend who had trained at St. Vincent's presented each of +us with a very fine Japanese suitcase, so we were well equipped for our +journey. + +I had been sick for a long time before this, several times sick enough +to die, and Sister Rita told me that she was almost afraid to go with me +for fear that she would have to bury me on the way. I told her not to +worry about me; that if I died to see that I was put under ground, and +say, "Good-bye, Lucretia," and go on with the journey. + +On the evening of June third, 1907, we were prepared to start and were +met by a few friends at the Union Depot, who presented us with dainty +lunch baskets with enough good things to eat until we arrived at +Chicago, our first stop. + +We were met at Chicago by some of my relatives, Mr. and Mrs. Gorman, who +entertained us during our stay of ten days. I had a relative in the +Notre Dame Convent, whom I visited while there. Her sister, a married +woman, asked me if I could do anything for her sister's (the nun) +sickness, which I found to be nervousness. I told her the best thing to +do for her was to take her out of the convent and let her live like +other people live. + +The next stop was the Mother House, Montreal, Canada. This building was +an immense, dark stone structure, six stories in height, a sure enough +penitentiary-looking Roman fortification. The walls of this enormous +building encloses a large novitiate, which has about one hundred novices +most of the time; large dormitories for the sisters, some of them fitted +to accommodate forty, and dark except when lighted by artificial light; +a printing plant operated by the sisters, used to print the books and +other literature for the many houses of the order; sewing rooms, where +clothes are made for the novices in the novitiate and other inmates of +the Mother House; a department where the sisters make slippers for the +inmates of the house; a chapel, community room, large kitchens, +dining-rooms for the chaplain and sisters, bakeries, an infirmary and +operating room, and in fact a department for nearly everything used for +the sisters in this institution. + +[Illustration: _Head Mother House of the Sisters of Charity of +Providence, Montreal, Canada._] + +Most of the professed sisters at this house are those who have passed +their years of usefulness in the work done by the order, such as +hospital work, teaching, orphanage, etc., or are sickly sisters who +cannot do the outside work. There are always several hundred sisters at +the Mother House sent from the numerous houses of the order from all +over the country, many of which pass their few remaining years in +solitude. + +There are about six sisters who attend to the business of this house, +which is the head of all the different houses of this particular order, +and all reports must be made to the head sister, who is called the +Mother General. + +During our visit there, we were accompanied by two of the holy Maison +Mere (Mother House) nuns to an iron vault, to gaze upon and venerate the +fleshy heart of the Bishop Founder of the order, Monseigneur Ignase +Bourget, which was there preserved in about two quarts of alcohol. We +were told by the accompanying sisters that every year on Monseigneur +Bourget's feast day, this heart turned to its natural blood-color. + +This Bishop was the Christ representative who said to the five foundress +sisters who first came to the Northwest to build prison convents here: +"Go, my daughters! Fear nothing--I send you in the name of the Sovereign +Pontiff. Multiply yourselves to the greater glory of God." (Nov. 1st, +1856.) + +We also had the privilege and honor of joining in a novena prayer for +the cure of a crippled girl. This novena was offered to Mother Gamelin, +a sister foundress of the order, who had been dead since September 23d, +1851, and who was now working miracles which was a final test to prove +she was worthy of canonization by the Mother Church. It being time for +our annual retreat, we were obliged to listen to eight days of French +preaching, confession, prayer and silence in the Mother House. + +A large portion of the city of Montreal is now in the hands of the Roman +Catholic system--churches, convents, parochial schools or other Roman +institutions facing the streets every few blocks. These portions of the +city are inhabited by the French Canadians mostly, and as a general +thing they have very large families and are poor, almost to a degree of +poverty. The church bleeds them of their scanty earnings, then in the +winter open soup houses in the name of Charity. One of the sisters at +the Mother House told me that she had seen some of these people walk in +their bare feet in the snow to some of these "charitable soup houses" to +partake of the little bowl of soup that body and soul might be kept +together. + +The children in these families are nearly all raised in the parochial +schools and churches and know nothing but the Romish teaching and that +is the reason there are so many French Canadian priests and sisters. The +home and family life of the people are so closely related to monastic +life that it cannot be called taking a step in life when the boys and +girls enter the convent, it is just continuing from babyhood to the end +of life in the drudgery of the nunneries. + +While at the Mother House, I was told that the French Canadian people +were fast loosing their faith and becoming infidels, leading a life of +worldliness and degradation. Who is to blame for this condition? Surely +not the poor people who have been priest-ridden all these years. It is +just the same story you hear of every country where Rome has had the +control for any length of time. + +We visited the Hotel Dieu Nunnery where Maria Monk had her terrible +experiences as a black nun. The interior of this convent indicated the +truth of her description in her book. In the hospital part there were a +few rooms for patients, but principally wards--the beds having curtains +around them. We witnessed a doctor making his daily sick visit. He was +accompanied by sisters all in black, except a bit of the face and hands. +These sisters would handle the medicine and dressings which were kept in +a cabinetlike table, with nothing to protect them from the dust but a +curtain around the table. On top of these tables were oratories, such as +we had in the chapels, containing flowers, statues, holy water +fountains, etc. I asked what these oratories were for and was told they +were for the sick to pray to for their cures. + +When we were ready to leave this institution, I asked the sister that +accompanied us through, if she would come to the gate with us. She came +to the threshold of the door and stopped and said that the sisters were +not allowed to pass the door without special dispensation from the +Archbishop. + +In another Black Nunnery Convent we visited there was a large ward, +probably one hundred feet long and sixty feet wide, filled with small, +low beds, for the accommodation of babies and children. I saw probably +forty or fifty children not older than six years. I asked the sister if +the sisters there were allowed to take care of babies of that age, for I +knew the sisters in my community were _not_, and she told me that they +were not; that they had nurse-girls to take care of them and that there +was a sister appointed to oversee the work. + +We were taken to the basement of this institution and saw the private +burial places of the "holy" Mother Foundress of the order and several +other sisters particularly distinguished for great sanctity and +"supernaturally gifted" while living, as we were told. These burial +places were marked by a small, narrow board at one end, and a small +wooden cross, about a foot high at the other. The fourteen stations of +the cross were erected along the walls that surrounded this burial +ground. Special indulgences and blessings were supposed to come to +anyone praying in this "holy" place. We were also told that anything +that was placed on the grave of the holy Mother, and remained there for +some time, became holy, and that if these articles were kept and +venerated, the holy person or saint would be the means of special +blessings to us. I was given a small sprig of a flower made "holy" in +this manner, and Sister Rita and myself had a laugh over it. When I +reached the street, I discarded this holy relic. + +We spent four days visiting the Longue Pointe Insane Asylum near +Montreal. This asylum included seven magnificent stone buildings, and +had four hundred and twenty acres of ground. At the time we were +visiting, there were two thousand inmates and two hundred sisters who +attended the sick. There were also a large number of uniformed men to +guard and attend the male patients. We were told that the institution +belonged to the government, but had been turned over to the Sisters of +Charity of Providence who had the sole supervision of it. A great many +sisters of the order I belonged to, and other orders as well, who became +drunkards and with other ailments, as well as being insane, are sent to +this institution from all over the United States and Canada. + +I will give you an example of how some of the sisters go to this +institution. A sister I knew very well at Vancouver, Washington, after +an eight-days' retreat, was found in a closet by another sister, +"sawing" on her neck with a common, ordinary butcher-knife, and had +almost succeeded in putting an end to her troubles. When asked what she +was doing she just said, "Hell here or Hell hereafter, what is the +difference?" and kept on "sawing." Three older sisters sewed and +bandaged the wound and as soon as she had recovered sufficiently to +travel, was sent to this asylum at Longue Pointe. And this sister was +_not_ insane but was sick and needed a doctor and medicine, but in order +to kill the scandal, she was sent away so it would be forgotten. + +We availed ourselves of the opportunity and went on a pilgrimage to St. +Anne de Beaupre, Quebec, about one hundred and sixty miles from Montreal +on the St. Lawrence River. There were about seven hundred people on the +steamer chartered for this pilgrimage. The steamer was equipped with +counters laden with small statues, pictures, rosaries, images magnified +and encased in pen-holders, lockets and other cheap trinkets for the +passengers to purchase as souvenirs. After buying them we would take +them to the priest and have them blessed. About every two hours during +the entire pilgrimage, we were assembled by order of the priest and made +to say the rosary and other prayers. + +At eleven o'clock at night we arrived at Cape Holy Sacrament. Here we +were all requested to go ashore and assemble in the church for a special +benediction. Each passenger was required to purchase a candle, just a +simple tallow candle, for which was charged fifteen cents. When we were +assembled in the church the priest blessed these candles with some Latin +prayers, and then turned his back to us for about twenty minutes for +some more Latin prayers. After this "holy" benediction, which very few, +if any of us, understood, we returned to the boat and continued our +journey. + +We arrived at the village of St. Anne de Beaupre about seven o'clock in +the morning and went direct to the wonderful basilica of St. Anne de +Beaupre, where we heard mass and received the consecrated wafter-god +before we could have any breakfast. + +This basilica is a magnificent temple, probably six stories in height, +with two high spires, and wonderful chiming bells. In the interior there +is a large costly decorated altar, and above this on either side are +other altars. On either side of the main auditorium are rows of +installed chapels, ten on each side, making twenty in all. Each of these +chapels has its own altar and is dedicated to some saint and contains a +life-size statue of that special saint. + +The statue of St. Anne which works the "miraculous cures" is located +about the centre of the basilica. It is about twice the size of a man, +and standing on an onyx pillar about four feet high. The open hands are +extended a little from the body, and from them stream rays of gold, +representing the great richness of St. Anne's dispensing power. It is to +this statue that hundreds of sufferers from all parts of Canada and this +country travel every year in search of a cure for their infirmities. +There were on exhibition hundreds and hundreds of crutches, canes, +sticks and supports for all kinds of infirmities hung on the walls in +the back of the church and on two immense pillars. These were supposed +to have been left there by people who had been cured by this wonderful +statue of St. Anne. Then upon believing themselves cured of their +ailment or infirmity they would pay whatever sum of money they could +afford, and that is the reason for such a magnificent institution in +this small village. + +On an elevation near the church was a small building called the holy +Sanctum. Leading to this building were twelve steps, which, in order to +reach the entrance of the building, we had to ascend on our knees. The +images and statues in this building were most beautiful to +behold--costly shrines, life-sized statues of some of the martyred +saints, and our Lord, as represented in the tomb. The fourteen stations +of the cross were engraved in fine art on the walls, magnificent +paintings on the ceiling, such as the Angelical Salutation of the Virgin +Mary, and other views emblematic of religion. These things were all very +interesting to look upon, but the more I tried to pray and convince +myself in my heart that this show was religion, the more I found myself +losing what little belief I then had. + +On leaving this holy Sanctum, we passed a spring which had been tapped +to make a fountain. This was known as St. Anne's fountain, and the water +was supposed to possess great curative qualities. I could not believe in +all this sort of "holy rot," it was getting too strong for me, but +Sister Rita took a small bottle of the water which she carried +throughout the remainder of the trip. + +Next we looked in the basement of the church, which was fitted up very +much like the basements of our large department stores, where all kinds +of "holy" articles were for sale, everything from expensive statues and +priest's vestments to hundreds of devotional and superstitious trinkets +of the Romish belief. + +There were thousands of people from the surrounding country at this +village that day, as it was one of the periodical pilgrimages to the St. +Anne Basilica. + +Returning to Montreal we witnessed the grand processional parade of the +French Canadian people celebrating their National holiday, the Feast of +St. John the Baptist. This celebration, instead of being a civil affair, +seemed to be more of an ecclesiastical show, with all the various +societies and clubs of the church parading in all the pomp and +glittering raiment characteristic of the Church of Rome. It seemed to me +that it was more for the aggrandizement of the church than for the +kindling of patriotism in the hearts of the citizens. + +In Quebec, Joliette, and other cities and towns, we could neither see +nor hear anything of interest except the greatness of the rich churches, +the halls and pavilions for the celebration of festival and saint's days +and nunneries, and to admire the self-sacrificing spirit of the French +Canadian people for the Romish superstition. Of course, the beauties of +nature were very grand at that time of the year, and we enjoyed it to a +certain extent, as much probably, as a sister could. + +Thus seven weeks were spent in Canada and we both rejoiced in shaking +off the feeling of morbid depression of Romish domination even though +the trip was supposed to be one of pleasure. + +In returning to the States, at St. Albans, on the state line, the +trainman announced "twenty minutes for lunch." Sister Rita and myself +hurriedly ordered some clam-chowder. In a few minutes it was served, and +we had just begun to eat it, when we heard "all aboard." We had a +forty-cent laugh, minus the stew, and a run for the train. + +We stopped at Burlington, Vermont, at Niagara Falls, Buffalo, Albany, +New York City, Philadelphia, and Atlantic City. At Atlantic City, +Sister Rita took sick, so we went to Washington, D. C., to the +Providence Hospital which was conducted by the Sisters of Charity +whose Mother House was still in France. + +In two weeks Sister Rita had sufficiently recovered to continue our +trip. We were determined to see what was dearest to our hearts in all +this trip--Washington's Tomb. We went as close as we could to the tomb, +knelt down and touched the cement floor inside the vault with our hands, +in feeling of gratitude for liberty to our country, even though we were +bound to the government of the Pope of Rome. For just after our visit to +priest-ridden Montreal, we were surely thankful for the liberty enjoyed +in this country, and we could see that it was this liberty that saved us +from a greater hell on earth than we were living. + +We visited Washington's Monument, the Soldiers Home, the White House, +the Capitol Building and various other administration and government +buildings. + +Our respects were paid to St. Peter's Cathedral, which has become famous +for the Pan-American Mass held every Thanksgiving Day, and which has +been attended by several of our late Presidents. + +Near the city, we visited a new monastery which was inhabited by French +Monks. The most interesting part of this place was that portion under +the main building where the basement ordinarily would have been. There +was a long, narrow zig-zag tunnel, or passage, about six feet wide and +probably seven or eight feet high. We were escorted through about one +hundred feet of this tunnel and then the accompanying Monk told us that +the remainder of it had not been finished, so we returned. Along the +sides of this tunnel were niches, in which were placed statues, which +were visible only by the aid of small burning tapers. In fact, most of +the tunnel was so dark that we were unable to find our way without the +aid of a light carried by the Monk. It was a crude, "spooky-looking" +place, and both Sister Rita and myself gave a sigh of relief when we +were once again in the light of day and on top of God's green +foot-stool. + +We were informed by the priest that these tunnels were to commemorate +the Catacombs of Rome at the time of the early Christians. + +We went to Baltimore, then crossed the Chesapeake Bay to Norfolk, +Virginia, where we visited the Jamestown Exposition. The wonderful +exhibits at this exposition, the historic and other interesting places +visited while there, were a revelation of the achievements and +advancements of this great country, and the acquisition of much +historical enlightenment. We knew we were acquiring much knowledge +forbidden by the Pope of Rome, but we were greatly pleased to think that +we were defeating this self-styled ruler of heaven, earth and hell. + +From Norfolk we went to New Orleans. For miles the streets of this large +city were lined with little, antiquated, unkept homes, many of which +seemed to be falling in ruin. The question came to my mind, "Why do +these people not advance?" The answer was very apparent when we saw the +strangle-hold the Roman Church had on them, and how they had built +immense churches, monasteries and convents for the glorification and +fat-living of the ecclesiastical gods. We visited the Jesuit church, +which was a structure magnificent and beautiful to behold--with its +altars and ornamentations of bronze. At that time this church was +considered one of the most costly in America. + +During our stay in New Orleans, we stopped at the convent of the +Dominican Sisters. In conversing with some of these sisters, we learned +how they recruited their ranks. Some of the most trust-worthy sisters +would be sent to Ireland to talk the poor Irish girls into coming to +this country and living good, pure, holy lives as sisters. We were also +told that as a rule, these girls died very young, and generally of +consumption. We saw some of them, and they surely looked like caged +birds, sorry and discontented, home-sick and care-worn. Previous to +this, feelers had been placed before the sisters in my community to see +what sisters were willing to go to Europe to get recruits for the +Sisters of Charity of Providence, and when I saw these girls, once, no +doubt, rosy cheeked and beautiful, but now pale and care-worn from the +unnatural, caged life they were living, I made a vow that I would never +be the means of enticing any foreigners to leave their homes to become +slaves for the Roman Hierarchy. + +When we were in Burlington, Vermont, a sister-member of the same order I +belonged to, asked me to visit a relative sister of hers in the Ursuline +Convent in New Orleans. On the twelfth day of September, 1907, we +visited this convent--a monstrous prison-looking institution, about five +hundred feet long. Within the entrance there was a hall along the outer +wall and on the other side of the hall there were a number of small +rooms, or "stalls," about eight by ten feet in size. These stalls were +separated from the hall by iron bars, about one-half inch in diameter, +running from the floor to the ceiling, about two inches apart. I asked +to see the sister by name, and when she came we had to talk to her from +the other side of these bars. She extended her hand through the bars to +shake hands, and we kissed her the best we could with that barrier +between us. This was a cloistered order, and yet there was a parochial +school within the enclosure. The children's parents and other visitors +were only permitted to see the children or sisters as we had seen this +sister. About five feet from the floor, in the center of the grating of +each of these stalls, was a little door about fifteen inches square, +with a padlock on the inside. We were told these were used for articles +brought there that were too large to pass between the bars. + +We visited some of the large plantations for which the South is famous, +seeing the cotton plants in all their different stages, from the +flowering to the picking of the cotton. + +Returning to the Pacific Coast we came by the southern route, through +Texas, Arizona and California. We stopped a few hours in Los Angeles, +and about ten days at San Francisco and Oakland. From Oakland we visited +Stanford University, which was still very much demolished from the +earthquake nearly eighteen months before. + +We arrived home--at St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland--on September +thirtieth, after an absence of nearly four months, and I wish to impress +upon you that in all our travels we did not receive one cent from our +order--and they never once offered us any money to pay any of our +expenses or showed us any sisterly solicitude. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + + I RECEIVE MY DIPLOMA FOR NURSING FROM ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL--TROUBLE + AMONG THE SISTERS. + + +Hundreds of people take trips like Sister Rita and I took in 1907 every +year and there is nothing said about it, for it is only a common trip +for the people of the world. But for two nuns in their garb to travel +from one side of the continent to the other, and from the north to the +south, on a trip like this, is extraordinary. In all my sisterhood life, +I have never known any other two sisters to go on such a trip. I have +known them to take longer trips, some of them to Europe, but always on +business. + +Once more at the hospital where we had spent so many years in drudgery, +the smoldering pride and natural ambition which had been suppressed and +rudely beaten and forced into oblivion, came from the hiding place with +renewed vigor. We realized that a great _something_ had taken place +within us. We could not see things in the same light as before. The trip +had been educational for us, and the knowledge acquired had driven deep +into our hearts the conviction of the truth with such power that we +found a terrible battle raging within us--Romish convent "rot" on one +side and light on the other. + +What were we to do? We had no homes, no place to go to live the +remainder of our earthly sojourn; we had served the best part of our +lives for the Roman institution and were no longer young; our health was +not the best; helpless from every point of view, it was a plain case of +go to work, "for better or for worse." + +It was impossible for us to believe opened-eyed the foolishness of all +the silly superstitions we had so long lived, and yet from it there was +no escape, as it was by rule and practice and demand, compulsory. We +talked it over and realized that we stood in need of a remedy to +counteract the wiles of darkness--neither allopathic nor homeopathic +prescription could accomplish this for us, and we knew from experience +that the Romish priest could do nothing for us as he was the fountain +head of the darkness and ignorance, except perhaps administer a +spiritual emetic in the confessional. So we just took up our part of the +work as tools, grinding for the Roman machine. + +Naturally, the conditions at the hospital were the same as they had +always been, but the great change that had taken place in my life caused +me to be more independent than I had ever been before. I saw that the +treatment accorded the sisters, doctors, nurses and patients was not +right, as well as they knew it. They soon realized the degree of +independence I had delegated to myself, and I was overburdened with +complaints of the wrongs that were going on. Not that I could directly +correct the irregularities, but that I might have some influence with +those in charge of the workings of the institution. + +At St. Vincent's there were sixty sisters--simply women--in whose hearts +existed the same aspirations, cravings and desires inherent in all human +flesh. There were those sisters with their whole heart and soul +perfectly sincere in their religion. Others who were the schemers, +intriguing in the most cunningly devised plans imaginable, workers of +iniquity and the greatest injustices in the guise of religious show. To +your face this class would be so sanctified, always saying prayers and +looking to heaven, but when your back was turned, they would step on +you, trample you under their feet, or knife you to attain their end, and +that they might be glorified and exalted in the eyes of their companions +and superiors. The outside world will never know the real meaning of the +word "scheme" until they have the opportunity of seeing the hellish +plottings of a sister-schemer. + +It is only natural that a sister will do her utmost to have work in +which she is interested and has some inclination toward, so that she can +see and hear those things pleasing to her. Then when she is in her +chosen work, she will do all in her power, just the same as other +people, to attain the best position possible that life might be brighter +and she do the most good, as well as to have a little more authority. In +order to gain her aspirations, a sister is compelled by the hell-bound +system to live in continual fire--the fire of fear and remorse--the fire +of fierce wrangling through pride, jealousy and ambition. Patients and +doctors have come to me many, many times, with proof of the awful +jealousy and inharmony among sisters. They could not understand that a +sister's world was so small and cramped by obedience that they could not +get away from their last scene of hell and latest oppression. + +It was about this time, soon after my return from the East, that there +was a demand from the doctors and patients for more efficient nursing. +It had been public talk that the sisters did not train for the care of +the sick and consequently did not have diplomas. And yet, these sisters, +with only experimental knowledge of nursing, were head-nurses, as +superintendents and teachers in the training-school. Superiors were +appointed who never had any previous hospital experience, coming +directly from orphanages, schools or kitchen work. Others who came +direct from Canada, who could not speak a dozen words of English, would +be appointed to some high office. From these we would be compelled to +take orders which meant blind and military obedience under penalty for +the non-observance. + +It was decided that some of the sisters should be given diplomas to show +their qualifications for nursing. I was one of the chosen few who +received a beautiful scroll of paper certifying that I had completed a +thorough course of training in medical and surgical nursing and had +undergone a satisfactory examination, in the branches taught in the +training school, before certain members of the hospital staff who had +attached their signatures. It was also signed by the Superior Provincial +and the local Superior. This diploma was a triple falsehood on the face +of it, as I had not taken a course of training, I had not taken an +examination before these doctors, or any other doctors, on the tenth day +of June, 1901, or any other time; and, moreover, I did not receive it +until after I had returned from my trip East, which was 1907, which +shows that it was either back-dated or had been kept in "cold storage" +for several years. + +[Illustration: _Fac-simile of the Diploma I Received from St. Vincent's +Hospital._] + +This was simply another delusion of the Roman Catholic Hierarchy to +hood-wink the public and cause them to think that the Roman institutions +were as efficient as other institutions. Personally, I was qualified to +nurse in nearly all branches, as I will prove to my readers before I +close this book, but what I knew was not learned by a "thorough +training" by any teacher other than the teacher of experience, and now, +with over fifteen years of hospital work to my credit, I was receiving +what the ordinary nurse receives after three years' training--the +diploma. + +About 1910 the new addition to St. Vincent's was opened for occupancy +and it could then accommodate about four hundred patients. + +The reports of the unfair treatment of the sisters and others as well, +were coming to me so fast that I decided to try to right them from +within the order. It was only the beginning of the end for me. I +appealed to all the women authorities, from the local superior to the +Mother General, but to no avail. It simply caused the sisters in +authority to look upon me with suspicion and disfavor, and from the very +first, reports were circulated about me losing my faith, and being a +"bad religious." Orders were given the sisters on my floor as to the +management and also as to the manner in which they were to treat me. + +The reports of what was going on had reached the Mother House in +Montreal, and the assistant Mother General, who was a very good friend +of mine, and at the same time endeavoring to smooth matters over in the +community, asked me to take the office of superior at Astoria. It was +simply an attempt to get me out of St. Vincent's and I refused to take +the office, knowing that I could not treat the sisters as a superior had +to. + +A letter soon came from the Mother House, which I will here copy, with +others, showing how the news of strife within the community travels. +Also how cautious a sister must be with her letters. The envelope was +addressed to me, and on the top of it had these words: "P. S. If not +there return to me unopened." + + Providence Mother House, + Montreal, Feb. 11th, 1910. + +(This letter is for yourself alone.) + + Sr. Lucretia, + Portland, Oregon. + + Dear Sister: + +What's up? It seems people find you so very, very naughty--so naughty +that strong measures are required. Look out, the comet (Haley's Comet) +may play serious tricks! But nonsense apart, do write me what has +happened in that house? You cannot imagine how anxious I am, knowing +what injustice is sometimes meted out under the plea of good order and +merely for the sake of carrying out certain plans to attain ones end. Be +watchful. I love the community with all my soul, but I hate the iniquity +wrought by some of its members through jealousy and ambition. God help +the weak! I shall say no more today, but leave it all to the strong +right arm of the Almighty. + + Good-bye and believe me, + + Sincerely yours, + + SISTER M. WILFRID. + +This letter is proof that I was not the only sister who knew of the +wrongs and injustices that were going on under the plea of religion. And +believe me, I was very grateful to receive this letter from one so high +in the order as Sister Wilfrid. It braced me up for the coming battle. + +My reply was as follows: + + St. Vincent's Hospital, + Portland, Oregon, Feb. 20, 1910. + + Rev. Mother Wilfrid, Asst. Gen., + Montreal, Canada. + + Dear Mother Wilfrid: + +I am not aware of being so terribly naughty, and the same comet +(Haley's) that will play unfair tricks on me might get a few played on +it, when tricky cards will be played. + +When these strange and strong measures will be put to me I will +certainly have to know of them and then it shall be my business to learn +the reason, and mine to employ whatever means I may require for justice +or peace of soul and body. Any grievous wrongs coming to me through +jealous and ambitious evil-doers will not be borne by me in a pent up +heart any more like in the past. Accusations, as also insinuations, +which falsify will have to come to light and proof. They can say all the +dirty, wicked remarks about me they please. I know but precious little +good has ever been said of me by the community representatives out here +in the past, and I do not expect better yet. If I am American in my +views and ways, it does not make me irreligious or disloyal. My faults +and shortcomings are not worse, nor of meaner character than those I am +with, and have lived with. With little effort I can produce plenty +comparisons. + +I will not again suffer humiliating trials cast upon me without cause, +and worse, to no purpose, but to incur the displeasure of God and to +please deceitful, jealous, scheming spirits. + +You ask me what has happened this house? It would take me six months to +put it in writing and make a nervous wreck of myself and then be +compelled to leave to others what I attempted to better. Time, and +sisters who will be trained by home religious, who will understand our +people and sisters, can only right things with us out here. Along these +lines the trouble lies in this house. We are even bad for knowing where +trouble lies, etc., etc., etc. You know as well as I do. + +I work hard and know that I work well, and I do my duty the best I know. +The crime is, I haven't the "L'esprit de la religieuse," because I am +not French and they can't bake me over other than God made me. Amen. + + With love in prayer, I am, + + Yours very sincerely, + + SISTER LUCRETIA, + S. C. S. P. + +On March 10th, 1910, I wrote her again, further explaining what was +going on, as follows: + +Dear Mother Wilfrid: + +Another item which stands black against me is that I have been taking +care of Archbishop Christie this winter. Three weeks' special nurse and +for three months I went nearly every day to his residence to give his +arm massage treatment. I did my hospital work all but the entering of a +few names along with the extra work. I gave classes in nursing to the +sisters two evenings per week. + +Now, of course, I should be made to feel very sorry that I have been +capable of giving agreeable service to such a distinguished patient. It +being out of the question to punish him for being pleased with my care +or an expression of a word of gratitude. So, it should behoove me to be +put through the expiatory system to atone for my sins of having done +well and more than the usual effort. I can't tell where the glory of +such Christ-like doings belong. No doubt it is the right spirit--too bad +I haven't it. What a grievous sin it must be to please, etc. + +Another item, my name was cast a good many times in the ballot box on +election evening for the new superior. I suppose I might be called upon +to glorify God by expiating for this crime also, in some way or other. +Those brilliant gems are being added to other hallows, too. What +Paradise! minus innocence. Amen. + + As ever. + + Very truly yours, + + SISTER LUCRETIA, + S. C. S. P. + +Just a day or two after I mailed the foregoing letter, I received a note +from Mother Wilfrid asking me to write further, explaining more fully +the national hatred mentioned in my first letter--she not having +received this last one as yet. So on March 18th, 1910, I wrote at +length: + + Dear Mother Wilfrid: + + The only reason French sisters have no use for me, and would never give +me a sign of prestige is that I am not French. That is my awful crime. I +am liked and approved of by all that I have dealings with--the doctors, +the people, the sick--great and lowly--the nurses, the help of the +floor--all express happiness and pleasure on seeing me. The +English-speaking sisters find a few minutes' comfort of mind and a +little peace and enjoyment in my company. In the eyes of jealous, evil +minds it must be wicked to possess gifts which radiate peace, happiness +and harmony. + +I even admit that I am not dead to approbation or condemnation. I +naturally like to give to everybody of the best I have, whatever it may +be--to receive people well and friendly, to serve someone a lunch, or to +do some little favor of whatever kind, or if it were only a few kind +words of encouragement. If anyone wishes my secret, I am not jealous to +give my recipe. I always made it a particular point to do everything as +well as I could and know that I do it with as pleasing and cheerful +disposition as possible. But that is poison to the other side. I am and +always have been successful in my office. I taught a class of sisters +(nursing) since the beginning of last September, and I know that I did +it right and successful the times I could get them. + +Why such national prejudice and jealousy? Really what the last election +(superior's election) here showed, after all the talking of doing away +with the spirit of nationality, the prayers and conferences to the same +purpose, then the nationality spirit manifested itself with more force +than ever before, at least openly, so that one knows what to call it. It +shows clearly, too, that there will never be harmony, and it is obvious +that one kind will predominate as long as they can, and when they +cannot, the next majority will. + +Our community has failed to prove, up to now, that it is a success to +have mixed nationalities. In time, of course, anyone can see that one +kind will give way to the other, but not by means of harmony--probably +by the same methods as of the past, the stronger or the majority shall +control the weaker or minority. "As it was in the beginning, is now, and +ever shall be, world without end. Amen." Said this time in truth and +effect. + +First of all, our people, the English-speaking sisters, have no one to +go to for redress, who understands them in their troubles and trials and +difficulties of a business or social nature, simply silence and +obedience without a faint feeling of even a little sympathy in common. + +The Jews did not understand our Lord and His suffering, but the Blessed +Virgin did. I believe He had a few other household members who were not +only loyal, faithful and devoted to Him, but harmonious, too. If there +was jealousy and disagreement, I do not believe that a good and generous +worker was taken out of office by the Master and put aside as an evil +spirit or put through humiliating and heart-rending trials till there +would be nothing left but a grimace and distorted body or an insensible +being, an object of pity and sadness. + +Should religion, if it was the right kind, make people wish and sigh for +death to come and put an end to their misery? Why all this profession of +religion if it cannot grow a few flowers and plants of joy and +happiness, if it has to legislate people so stiff and cramped in body +and mind that they cannot bend without breaking, or breath enough left +in them without looking haggard or half dead? + +Religion and church are not to blame for want of breadth, harmony and +strength amongst ourselves in organizations. It is up to the majority of +us sisters to make life part Paradise or all Purgatory on earth, and all +the sermons on charity that could be preached in the world and all the +good will and generosity put together will fail to produce peace and +harmony in a community which cannot organize and legislate just and fair +dealings to begin with. Man knows and appreciates this. + +With the other letters I have sent you, you can see the situation. With +love as ever. + + Sincerely yours, + + SISTER LUCRETIA, + S. C. S. P. + +The reply I received was as follows: + + + My dear Sister Lucretia: + + Lest you worry about your letter of March 18th, I come, + although I have but a few moments to myself, to say it reached + me in due time. I have read and re-read it and find that what + you say is true. Oh! if trying to please and comfort (without + sacrificing one's religious principles) and succeeding therein + were crime, I earnestly wish there were more criminals among + us. In any case, I would urge you to continue to make other's + lives happy, and not allow the narrow-mindedness of some and + the unkindness of others to cast bitterness into your own life. + It is hard, sometimes, but there are enough beauties and + sweetnesses in life if we will only take them, and I am sure + you have proved until now you know where they are to be found + and how to make use of them. Continue, dear Sister Lucretia; + nothing that is good ever dies; we have often heard this and + perhaps so far have had occasions to experience its truth. + Allow me to quote a few lines I found not long ago and find + encouraging: "If you live the most devoted and disinterested + life possible, you will find people sneering at you and + imputing your actions to selfish motives and putting a cruel + construction on all you do or say. Well, it does not matter, + for we shall all be manifested at the Judgment seat of Christ, + before God and men and angels. Let us live to please Him, for + our integrity of motive will be known at the last, and put + beyond all dispute." + + I have just learned that Sister Rita has been transferred to + Oakland. I hope she will like the South and make herself happy. + + Believe me, dear Sister, + + Sincerely yours, + + SISTER M. WILFRID, + S. C. S. P. + +You will observe from the foregoing letters that we, as sisters, do not +hold the system accountable for the wrongs we have to endure in the +convent. We believe that the sisters alone are at fault, as I have +stated in my letters to Mother Wilfrid. But the man or woman with +ordinary intelligence, who reads these conditions as they were at that +time can readily see the real source. The heads of the institution, who +had the sole power, instead of the bettering conditions, tolerated and +permitted them to remain. At that, I have my grave doubts if the convent +system could _ever_ be harmonious. Think of housing a large number of +women under one roof, bound by the ironclad, childish rules and +precepts. They are a barrier to "life, liberty and the pursuit of +happiness," which the Constitution of the United States guarantees every +citizen. They make progress an impossibility. The outside world thinks +the convent system is a success because they see the institutions grow +in size and number, which is due to the economic methods of free +sister-service. They never have the opportunity to see "success" from +within. + +As a further proof that the system is the cause of discord, strife and +inharmony among the sisters I will copy another letter I wrote to +Mother Wilfrid. There is some repetition of portions of my former +letters, but I think the whole of the letter will interest my readers, +even though it is lengthy: + + + Dear Mother Wilfrid: + + I will bring a few other points before you, Mother, which means + inharmony in our order. I do not intend to convey to you the + idea that I am an oracle of success. The intention being simply + to consider some of the principal essentials required for + success. Just a little mental view of things. + + We all admit that experience is a great teacher--observation + its necessary accompaniment. Both are in vain unless a + practical application can be made of the lessons to be learned + from them. + + One of the first essentials of success is common honesty. If + those who have had experience in one kind of work could only + dare to be sincere enough to express the difficulties they + meet, in such a manner as to better conditions. What's in the + way? Prejudice, the fear of not standing high as a perfect + religious, sisters, whether qualified for leadership or not, + ambitious for high offices. If the companion should be a little + more gifted in some things than the superior, she should make + herself so small and subservient that she can scarcely think. + If she cannot look scared, stand back and look perfectly mum. + She is proud, independent, trespassing on the superior's + rights, disloyal and rebelling against all rightful and lawful + authority. She is placed in a responsible position and not + permitted to be woman enough to be justified in her own + actions. She has to of necessity, due to inorganization, make a + blunder of herself and her work. We are constantly blundering + and straightening out after each other. Experience should have + taught some of us how to improve upon blundering ways. Take for + one thing, the frequent changing of the sisters without system + or method, often for no reason--then because some have put + their heads together to bare so-and-so out, they have to eat + "black bread." She has given offence--God alone knows for what + trifle. She must be punished and made unsuccessful even if the + house and place where she is will suffer the loss of her good + and successful work. This might be saying a good deal for a + subordinate, but it is the price paid for lessons taught by + experience. We will have better organization only when we will + have our sisters taught from the time they enter the work for + which they have aptitude, talent and inclination, and leave + them generally where they are contented and successful and not + shift them about from house to house, pillar to post, without + serious reason. We ought to know by this time that a work one + does not care anything about she will not put much effort or + interest in. + + To stand the hardships in connection with every occupation, one + must have some liking for it and be qualified to succeed. And + then there will be plenty of room to love God and suffer for + Him, and any number of chances to practice the highest degree + of religious perfection--entire abnegation, if you will. Such a + one can be on the way to Gethsemane every day with greater + fervor rather than murmurs. + + As a general rule, people who have worked the greater part of + their lives or years in certain works, particularly when they + reach the years of about forty, adapt themselves with great + difficulty to an entirely different kind. They need the + efforts and thoughts as well, of younger years to correspond + with their generosity and good will. First of all to grasp the + situation, and then a renewing of energy, as it were, they need + new thoughts to keep in progress with the changing conditions. + I cannot see that we have to be a misfit to be a good + religious, and to cripple every natural gift--physically or + intellectually. + + It takes years of study, practice and experience to acquire the + knowledge to fit ones self for the proper and successful way of + handling any work or business. People who are every year, or + every few years, starting something new, are always beginners, + possessing a superficial or smattering knowledge of many + things, and thorough in none. + + This is the way our house is largely represented here now--and + we wonder what is the matter! "What has happened, St. + Vincent's?" The greater wonder is that things go on as well as + they do. + + Another mistake our people make is that of ousting out of + office those who do have the good will and energy to capacitate + themselves for their work and prove a success all round by + making a little more of themselves than the ordinary hum-drum + routine sisters. The spirit of the rule is one kind of + spirit--and there are other spirits. If I have not the spirit, + God forgive me. There are plenty of others who have not the + spirit. Is it the spirit when one is successful in an office + and in all her dealings with the people she comes in contact + with, to not even make an effort to have harmony and + understanding on the part of her superiors if misunderstanding + and discord exists? They are not able to face you with one + correction or complaint, but through the religious system, + under cover of all that is holy, to oust her and throw her + down and out, as it were, regardless of human feelings or sense + of righteousness--no, not even common civility. Anyone not made + of cast-iron is bound to break--body and spirit--under such + tremendous pressure. + + Such is Sister Rita's case, for one. + + Yours as ever, + + SISTER LUCRETIA, + S. C. S. P. + + +I want it strictly understood by my readers that all the letters I have +here produced were written by me while I was yet a sister at St. +Vincent's Hospital, and superintendent of the third floor of that +institution. I could tell the same facts without the evidence of these +letters, and in a great many less words, but I wish to let the world +know that I knew while there that the governing heads of the institution +were doing nothing to better the then existing conditions of inharmony +and discord among the sisters; but, on the other hand, were making +matters worse for them by transferring older sisters who were acquainted +with the work and supplanting them with younger sisters who were +ignorant in the care of the sick. + +In a few words the wrongs could be summed up as follows: + +National hatred and jealousy; + +The rule of the system compelling the sisters to report on the other +sisters to the superior, which means a great many false reports; + +The employment of sisters who had no previous experience, and the +transferring of those who did know about the care of the sick; + +Superiors who were absolutely unqualified for hospital work; + +Non-care of sick sisters; + +Ignorance and blind obedience; + +The numberless religious practices which took us away from the sick, +very often when they needed the most careful attention; + +Besides the taking care of the sick, the many other obligations which +the sisters were called upon to perform--such as laundry work, janitor +work, kitchen work, etc. + +And no one to go to for redress in case of wrong. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + + MY REMOVAL FROM ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL. + + +On the tenth of July, 1911, I went to Vancouver, Washington, for my +annual retreat. Immediately upon my return to St. Vincent's, July 19, I +was summoned to the room of the Provincial Superior, Mother Nazareth, +and she informed me that I had been "nominated" to go to Cranbrook, B. +C., saying that as my health had not been very good for some time, the +change would be good for me. I had undergone a very serious operation +some time before this, from which I had not fully recovered. The nervous +strain caused by the troubles within the order had not been of any +physical benefit to me, owing to the weakened condition of my system +from the operation. So I told Mother Nazareth that I did not think that +going up in the mountains where the climate was so cold would be very +beneficial to my health. I also told her that I did not think that my +health was the reason for my removal, but that it was on account of +reports, and I wished to know what some of them were. She refused to +tell me, and I told her that if she did not care to, or would not, I +would go to higher authority, the Superior General. + +Talk about system, and the traveling of news! On July 21st, two days +after I was informed that I was to go to Cranbrook, I received the +following letter: + + House of Providence, + Vancouver, Wash., July 20, 1911. + + Sister Lucretia, + St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Ore. + + Dear Sister: + +I am informed by your Provincial Superior that you refuse to accept your +nomination to another house. + +Please write me to that effect. + +Awaiting your answer within a reasonable time, I am, + + Very sincerely yours, + + (Seal) SISTER MARY JULIAN, + Superior General. + +Can you see how the sisters work to keep ahead of all the other sisters? +Using, if necessary, unfair and unjust methods to attain their ends. I +had told Mother Nazareth that I would go over her head, and from all +evidence she must have immediately sent a messenger to the Superior +General with the message that was written me in that letter, which was +not true. I had not refused to accept the appointment, but had asked the +reason for such a change. Our rule on "Fraternal Charity" and the "Roman +Circular" from the Pope, says to "tell the wrongdoer of her faults." So +I had the right to be given the reason for my change, after all the +reports I had received of my very "irreligious conduct." + +Instead of writing to the Superior General, as requested in her letter, +I went in person. I asked her to tell me some of the reports she had +against me. She informed me that she had heard many reports about me, +but that she did not have to tell me. I told her that if I was to +correct myself of my faults, I should know what some of them were. She +told me that she had heard reports about me counseling a young sister to +leave the community, when she was in Missoula, Montana, long before she +was Superior General. This I flatly denied, as I had not done so, and I +asked her to name the sister, but she refused to do so. She also +informed me that a great fault of mine was that I would not report on +the other sisters. I told her that this was very true, and that I would +not report on the other sisters unless there was something very wrong to +report, as I did not think it was right. She became very angry after me +questioning her, and said, "I am the authority and you are the subject, +and you have nothing to do but to obey your superiors." I said, "All +right, I made a vow of obedience, and I will obey; I will go where you +send me, and I will do what I am told, but it will be mine to tell the +story." + +On my return to St. Vincent's, I went direct to Mother Nazareth and +asked her if she had any fault to find with my work. She replied, "No." +I asked her if she had any fault to find with my character. She replied +"No." + +I then went to my local superior, Sister Alexander, to whom by rule I +was obliged to go every month to give an account of my spiritual and +material progress or difficulties. It was her duty to tell me if she had +any fault to find. She had never found any fault with me all the time +she had been my superior, except that I had once given some food to an +employee without her permission. I asked her the same questions I had +asked Mother Nazareth in regard to my work and character, and she +answered the same as Mother Nazareth had. I told her that no one ever +had any faults against me before, why all the reports and faults now? +To this she made no reply. + +My rule gave me the right to appeal to ecclesiastical authority for +redress of grievances if I was not satisfied with the decision of my +women superiors. So I next went to Archbishop Alexander Christie. + +I told him of the wrongs which were causing me many heartaches and +sorrows, and also the report the Superior General had told me she had +heard so many years before. He told me that the Superior General had no +right to handle me on reports she had heard before she had been in +office, according to Church or Canon law. He said that I had made a vow +of obedience and that the best thing I could do was to obey for the +present and maybe he could do something for me later. + +I had heard from priests about the justice of Archbishop Christie's +Coadjutor, or Vicar General, as he is called, Monsignor Rauw, so I +decided to go to him and see if he could intercede for me, or at least +cause an investigation. He listened very intently and, seemingly, with +much interest to my story of the injust treatment I was receiving, how I +had spent so many years in the service of the community and church. In +tears and sorrow I appealed to him to see that the right was done, not +that I was complaining about my appointment to another mission, but I +was complaining about my appointment to this particular mission on +account of the climatic conditions, and in the manner in which I was +being sent. There must have been some reason for all this--and I knew +well what it was--but I could get no one to tell me so I could defend +myself. When I had finished telling my story to this great "holy +father," he stood up, and holding himself together with both hands, +said, with much force, "In religion we have to make big sacrifices!" + +Sacrifice! I was all but sacrificed then, and to get an answer like that +from the last one I could appeal to for right! It is impossible to find +words to express the feeling that came over me. My heart and very being +became chilled. I shuddered at the very thought of religion. In my +novitiate I had been taught that if at any time during my community life +I would be in need of fatherly kindness and redress, I was free to go in +all childlike simplicity to authorized priests or bishops. This was the +first time in all my service to the church that I had asked anything of +the priestly "fathers." It had always been _my_ service and sacrificing +for them. And now, when it was my turn to look for some assistance in my +extreme oppression--when only a few words from any one of them would +have caused the sun of justice to shine on my life--they stood by and +did not say a word in my behalf. + +"His watchmen are blind: they are all ignorant, they are all dumb dogs, +they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, loving to slumber. Yea, they are +greedy dogs which can never have enough, and they are shepherds that +cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his +gain, from his quarter. Come ye, say they, I will fetch wine, and we +will fill ourselves with strong drink; and tomorrow shall be as this +day, and much more abundant." (Isaiah, 56:10,12.) + +In all my attempts for redress, the only word of encouragement I had +received was from Archbishop Christie, who had said that he "might be +able to do something for me later." But, as for the present, I could +clearly see that nothing could be done, except for me to reconcile +myself to my removal and go. + +Remember, dear reader, that I had served eighteen years at St. +Vincent's, and it had become as a home to me. Not only had eighteen +years of my service been utilized in building this institution, but I +had sold hundreds and hundreds of little cards to my friends and +patients for five cents each, each card representing a brick in the +building. More than that, I loved the work and had made hundreds of +friends from every part of Oregon, administering to them in sickness. +But laying all these things aside, I wanted to go and have it over with. + +So I packed the wreck of a trunk that was assigned to me with what few +belongings I had, stealing in a few forbidden books and pictures. In all +cases of removals of sisters, the superior is supposed to examine the +trunk, but for some reason, unknown to me, the superior did not examine +mine, so I succeeded in keeping a great many little articles which +otherwise I would not have. + +During the last two days, I avoided meeting everyone possible for the +final adieu, as the despotic and un-Christian manner of my removal was +too sensibly present to me. The friends I did meet expressed great +sympathy for me and often there was bitterness of tears from both of us. +One of the leading physicians of the staff halted me near the main +office, and in the presence of Sister Rita, told me that it was criminal +to me after the years of service to that institution and at my years and +poor health. He said that it was heartless and most un-Christian +treatment. This little speech caused me to think differently of +Protestants than I had in the past--that in the end I would rather go to +the Protestant heaven than to ever again meet some of these "holy +fathers and religious saints." + +On July 26th, I left for Cranbrook in company with Mother Nazareth. On +leaving St. Vincent's, I placed my arm over my eyes so that I could not +see the sisters, or other friends, or even the building where I had +lived so long. This was the first of many long, sad, sorrowful days for +me. + +We arrived at our destination on July 28th, at one o'clock in the +morning. The institution which was to be my new home, was a small +hospital, which could accommodate about sixty patients. + +The next morning, Mother Nazareth and my new superior, Sister Mary +Vincent, assigned me to my new work. I was to serve in the +dining-rooms--including the priest's--wash dishes, take care of the +halls, the sister's community room and the priest's apartment, and to do +the work that would be necessary in and about the building. Then, to +make everything more "pleasing" for me, they told me that in the near +future I could go begging as I had done in my younger years. To this, I +told them that I would go, _providing_ that I could be home every night, +as I did not think I was physically able to be out nights as I had in +years past. + +This was all for the benefit of my health, and this same Mother +Nazareth, who was helping the superior assign me to my work, was the one +that told me the change was for that purpose. + +After years of struggle and convent slavery, endeavoring to make myself +efficient in nursing, this the reward. If I had not been strong and +robust, I could never have lasted as long as I had. The average girl in +this drudgery goes years before she reaches the age I was at that time. +But the years of grind and confinement had begun to tell on me, and the +heads of the institution--sly old foxes--could see it; so I had to go. + + "Authority intoxicates, + And makes mere sots of magistrates; + The fumes of it invade the brain, + And make men giddy, proud and vain; + By this the fool commands the wise, + The noble with the base complies, + The sot assumes the rule of wit, + And cowards make the brave submit." + --Butler. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + + TWO INTERESTING LETTERS FROM SISTERS--MY LETTERS FOR REDRESS TO + ARCHBISHOP CHRISTIE. + + +I was now permitted to be on mission with my own blood sister, Sister +Cassilda. After having been estranged and poisoned in mind against me by +the system for over twenty years, she was to be an example for making me +a "good religious." And, poor girl, she sure enough was a "good example" +of the products of the Roman convent system. She had been on Indian +mission nearly all of her sisterhood life. For five years, without ever +seeing civilization, she was kept at the Blackfoot Indian Mission, in +Alta Territory, B. C. I remember once when she came to Vancouver, +Washington, for her retreat, the poor, dear girl looked as primitive as +the American natives she had been taking care of. Her sensibilities were +dulled from the long practice of mortification and the endurance of +terrible hardships. She did not realize it, but she was verily an object +of pity. Oh, how sorry I felt, to have my sister there with me, and yet +no sister to talk to, owing to the moulding and shaping we had undergone +by the Roman Catholic system. + +Even though she had never had any previous experience in caring for the +sick, she was, at the time I went to Cranbrook, assistant superior of +the hospital there. And after all the years I had served in nursing, I +was under her direction. + +A short time after my arrival at my new mission I received a letter from +my dear friend, Sister Rita, as follows: + + + Dear Lucretia: + + Another change. Now they say Mere General (Mother General) + intends leaving for your place Thursday the 10th (August 10th). + I am not stealing your letter out, as I read it to Mother + Nazareth, also to Sister Alexander, then told them that I + wanted to see that it got off. + + You need your reputation and I would make them prove the + _lies_. You were missioned through reports of companions who + were out of their rule for not warning you first. Then, + superiors have their rule. You have obeyed. Now you sift the + matter, though stay in the community and make them take good + care of you. That is only fair and just before God and man. + When they make use of religion to cover dirty politics it is + time to make them face it. You may show this to Mother General + or anybody else. + + With love, from + + RITA. + + +Another letter I received from Sister Mary Winifred, about this time, +will explain itself: + + + Providence Academy, Vancouver, Wash. + August 13, 1911. + + Dear Sister Lucretia: + + Last week I spent a few days in Portland and it is needless to + say that I missed you very much, as do all your friends there. + + From conversations at recreation I understand that your change + was made doubly painful by false charges. You have my heartfelt + sympathy in this, for I have experienced that painful ordeal, + and I say God help those who must go through it. Let me say to + you what dear Father Schram said to me, "Be thankful that you + are the accused rather than the accuser. I would rather be in + your place than theirs." It is only a matter of time; justice + will assert itself in spite of all human power. Your sorrow + will be turned into joy. Be brave, dear sister, this will all + be righted. + + There are some hard things in religious life. God knows why! + The words of our dear Lord, "For which of my favors would you + stone me," must come to the mind of some religious often during + life. + + Now, dear sister, I must close. + + Believe me in union of prayer and suffering. + + Yours ever, + + SISTER M. WINIFRED. + + +Mother General Julian visited Cranbrook on August 13, 1911, and I +endeavored to have her right matters, but to no avail. So I decided to +write my complaints to Archbishop Christie of Portland. These letters +also explain the most important points of the visit of Mother General +Julian of August 13th. + + St. Eugene Hospital, + Cranbrook, B. C., August 17, 1911. + + Most Reverend A. Christie, D.D., + Portland, Oregon. + + Very Dear Bishop: + +I am now here three weeks lacking one day; needless to say that I have +not been feeling very well, for in the manner I had to take my dismissal +from St. Vincent's and move out to mission, I do not think it hardly +possible for me to feel extra good, either mentally or physically, +unless one was made of cast-iron. + +Your Grace, I hate to trouble you; I know you must have enough care on +your mind and heavy responsibilities. Nevertheless, I beg you to listen +to me a little while. I feel it an awful strain upon my mind and weight +upon my heart to have to submit to so much downright cruelty and +injustice. Power made use of to take advantage of others. My removal was +prompted through ambition and jealousy. I was too successful and well +liked, and no means could be found to break my influence except by +taking advantage of my sacred vow of obedience to get me out of their +way. Now what is this but making use of religion to play dirty politics? +This change was brought about over my provincial's head. Our rule says +reports are to go to the provincial and she is to make the change or +report for such to higher authority. In the visit of our Mother General +here, August 13, 1911, I told her I was not satisfied nor at peace in +the service of God about the way I had been changed, because I had to +feel too keenly that it was as a punishment influenced by reports. She +then said that she might have been influenced and talked to the effect +that she had all right to make any change, whatever the reasons were. +She said that she had reports and that she did not need to tell me where +they came from or what they were. I said that if she expected me to +correct myself for what was reported against me, I thought I should be +told. She insisted that I had been told. I said the only thing I had +been told, the one and only charge you already made "counseling a young +sister to leave the community," which I positively denied and said that +I might ask an investigation. Moreover, you had this against me before +you were in office and I did not believe you could use it against me, +even were it true. + +Is it not convenient to get into power and take advantage of another for +all reports and remarks ever heard about you, years before they knew +you? + +When I spoke of investigation, she said that she did not say that I was +not telling the truth in denying the charge she made. I answered that it +was easy to say that now, but the mischief was done; that I was thrown +out of the occupation I worked so very hard to become efficient and +useful in, and that I did not feel that it should be required of me to +begin over as if I was twenty or twenty-five, neither did I think it was +required of me to mould myself over according to every new superior's +individual ways of thinking and liking, nor to run and jump about my +work like a young soldier on picket duty. + +I don't claim perfection or sanctity, simply doing the best I know how, +and at the same time trying to make the most of myself, becoming a +decent human being and Sister of Charity. If I did not appear religious +enough to please every sister that knows or hears of me, I could not +help it. If I did good work and behaved myself in accordance with our +rules and constitution, I thought this was a good deal to be taken into +account; and that I did not think that one should be so easily trifled +with and annoyed to desperation over faults and imperfections that we +are all, more or less, subject to, and for me to be treated like this +was injurious to my mind and health. + +She (Mother General) said this was a nice place for me, and I did not +need to work if I did not feel well, and that I could do the same work I +had done before if I wanted to do it and resign myself. + +This is the kind of redress we have, Your Grace. They can even dispense +the subject from any or all activity when it could mean torment to some +one in their "black book." + +I told her I wanted to find out if the church had nothing to say +concerning these matters, and also the way I had been removed from +office, without one bit of consideration, either for my years of service +in the community, which I thought was church service, or my ability or +experience. It made no difference in the least how I felt, or what it +had cost me to fit myself for my work. All that seemed required on their +part was to show me and give me to understand that I was not needed or +wanted any longer. + +Dismissal in a heartless manner from the work in which I have suffered +all sorts of inconveniences, wretched trials due to narrowness, which I +could enumerate to you, but would be too lengthy to write. God alone +knows the circumstances under which I had to learn my lessons to fit +myself for the work I did and managed. I had to be orderly, diet-cook, +dish-washer, scrub-woman, painter, seamstress, account-keeper, +collector--also take names and history of the patients, nurse and +overseeing other nurses' work--these and other things have been my +daily round of duties. + +Nice time of the day and years of my life for my superiors to say to my +face that they have no fault to find with my work and none of character, +and at the same time to do what they have done in the name of good under +cover of religion, claiming all right because authority is theirs. Must +unfit and unscrupulous ones be left to have their own way entirely? Has +justice no weight or meaning in the government of church organizations? + +Does it seem fair to take one away from a work that she knows well and +gave satisfaction, without giving one a single reason, and put beginners +in her place and send the experienced one where beginners ought to start +from? If I were even needed here! It really seems as if pleasure had to +be taken in seeing how far one could be driven. It is maddening for the +victim who has to stand it. I could not have the good will I ought to +have, these things embitter one and in conscience I cannot hold myself +accountable before God. It is discouraging and checks the better +feelings, desires and efforts in doing their best, and in time the +result will be callousness, indifference and unfitness for any good +whatever. This way of doing is applying the system of authority in the +old accustomed way when they want to make a human machine of one--is to +deprive them of all chances of interest in life, the final result is +bound to be physical and mental break-down or nervous wreck--as I have +seen it too many times, unfortunately. Going through this process a +number of times hurries our sisters to some cemetery or asylum. + +Your Grace, I feel to ask an investigation unless I can be given +assurance that I shall be reinstated in my former work and have my name +restored. + +Our superiors claim that even an Archbishop has nothing to say in these +matters in an order governed by a Mother General. That would be news to +me. I thought he was our first ecclesiastical head of church affairs in +his domain. I know in Canada the Mother General is not over Archbishop +Bruchasie. There might be a big difference in the States, probably in +the West. + +Your Grace, I am sorry and humiliated to have to trouble you in this +unpleasant manner about so much awful disagreeableness, but I could not +endure it without doing my utmost to get such unfairness righted. I +cannot tell you in words how much I appreciate knowing you as I do, and +that I feel perfectly at home in addressing myself to you during this +time of difficulties. I hope and pray that your health remains good, +Your Grace. + +Awaiting an answer, with much esteem and very best regards, + + Yours sincerely and respectfully, + + SISTER LUCRETIA, + S. C. S. P. + +Letter No. 2: + + + St. Eugene Hospital, + Cranbrook, B. C., August 28, 1911. + + Very dear Archbishop Christie: + + Your Grace, the large letter enclosed in this envelope, dated + August 17th, I intended to send at the time, and after I had + written it, I thought it was better for me to come to Portland + and see you, as some matters in it might require further + explanation than I could express in writing, because I wanted + you to know the true state of things, and for fear that I might + induce you to do anything rash in regard to me, I thought it + better to bring the letter myself. + + When Mother General was here on August 13, 1911, I told her + that I might ask an investigation. She said it was alright, + that I could do so if I wanted to. I supposed that this + included my permission to come and see you when I decided to do + so--if I needed permission from the lesser authority to speak + to the higher. I had told Mother Nazareth that I wanted to go + to Portland to see my higher superior on a matter of + conscience. + + August 26th, last Saturday, I asked her for her pass or + transportation to Portland. She said her pass was in Portland + and that she would send for it and that it would be here by + Wednesday. Instead of that she communicated with our Mother + General, this morning she told me so, and that neither Mother + General nor she could give me permission or money to go to + Portland. I was frank with Mother Nazareth when she spoke of + money; I said I could wait a few days for the pass. I cannot + understand why this deception. I do not feel good over it, + after telling her that I had Mother General's consent for what + I was to do. Our people are afraid to make one move without + Canada. I do not suppose from this transaction that Mother + Nazareth gave Mother General an agreeable account of me since I + am here. + +[Illustration: _Most Reverend Alexander Christie, D.D., Archbishop of +Portland, Oregon._] + + I am having a much begrudged vacation. I am not any profit to + the community just now, having been sick and unable to work for + a few weeks. How could I be otherwise, or anyone else with a + grain of sense or feeling, I cannot do things slipshod or by + halves. Outside of my trip East, I cannot recollect of ever + having had more than perhaps a couple of days cessation from + hard work in all my thirty years of community life--without + speaking of vacation, which I never dared to ask for, feeling + sure of punishment of some sort to follow if I did. + + Mother Nazareth quoted Mother General as saying to me, "There + was work here if I wanted to do it," and she added, "What was + good enough for the sisters here was good enough for me." I + told her "Yes, what was good enough for the sisters here was + good enough for me, and it was not beneath me at all to do what + the sisters here did, but it was out of the question and I do + not wish to discuss it, as it is useless." + + You see they have determined together--our people having + yielded to Canadian "todiers"--to show me that I am to take in + silence as much, or as little, as it is theirs to demand. It + belongs absolutely to them to subdue me in whatever way they + please, to make me see and accept as right the one and only way + they see it, and taking upon themselves to refuse me the right + of speaking to our own archbishop. This is one of the reasons + why I am out of Portland. They are uneasy as what I may say to + you. They cannot see it in any other light than that I am + telling wrong things and having a bad influence, hence it is + better for me to be where there will be no such occasion. What + a shame to have to talk of such narrow, childish treatment and + small things, but, truths just the same which can make one's + life very hard to live. + + I also enclose a short letter from Mother Wilfrid, one of our + Western sisters General Assistant Councilor. Letter dated + February 11, 1910, which is only a little over a year ago now. + I found it amongst my things after my letter dated August 17, + 1911, was written. I cannot make use of it. It will show that I + am not imagining things so terribly in mind, and it is positive + proof that I am handled on reports, the nature of which and the + numbers of years in gathering I am not permitted to know. They + have the advantage of me by my vow of obedience. Your Grace, I + leave everything to your wisdom and discretion. I do not want + you to do anything hasty or by persuasion, which might be + regrettable, though I do think they need to be taught the + lesson that they are not God Almighty, even though power be + entrusted them. I do not say on the minute--but in your own + good time and judgment. Mother Nazareth is terribly frightened, + and says I will regret going to you. + + Our people's talk is that Archbishop Bruchasie is the only + ecclesiastical head above our superiors. It is that with them, + or pine away out of life seems to be the only alternative + permissible. I could address myself to him and then be ordered + to go and sit in some dark corner in Montreal the remainder of + my days, like poor Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart is doing, + and like sickly Sister Gabriel was told that the sheriff would + be called to take her to Montreal if she would not go by their + orders. + + Your Grace, it is a comfort and a miracle to me to be able to + tell these things to you, because I know that you can have much + good come out of all it now, and more for the future sisters of + the country. I am sorry to have to bother you. + + Mother General did remark to me here when I told her that I did + not feel right about the way this had been done to me, that it + might not be for long. Your Grace, I will pray every day that + God will bless you with good health and success, and that you + will be with us many years to come. + + Awaiting an answer, I remain, + + Yours devotedly and respectfully, + + SISTER LUCRETIA, + S. C. S. P. + + +These three letters (one from Mother Wilfrid to me) were enclosed in one +envelope and sent to Archbishop Christie by registered mail. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + MY EMANCIPATION. + + +The many, long, dreary days of suspense that followed awaiting a reply +from Archbishop Christie were surely days of indescribable penance. No +one for a confident but myself, and my thoughts so pent up within me +that I had to contrive some means of relief. My heart was crushed and +broken. The suppression of my feelings and the burning sensation of the +physical pain I had to endure in the awful conflict of soul and body +were almost unbearable. I took advantage of the only remedy within this +Roman "house of correction." I would go to the garret, which was the +nurses' dormitory, and holding my garb up so that I could move freely, I +would pace the floor, hundreds of times, exhausting, so to speak, the +surplus energy caused by the unrighteous indignation. And, at the same +time, praying in my simple way to the saints for light as to the next +step to take. During the late hours of the sleepless nights, with the +heavy burden of my troubles on my mind, I would walk the floor of my +little room (about ten feet square) like some caged animal pacing his +den in quest of liberty. + +At the holiday season I wrote a short letter to Archbishop Christie, +wishing him the greetings of the season, to which I received the +following reply: + + + Portland, Oregon, January 2, 1912. + + Dear Sister: + + I thank you sincerely for your kind Xmas remembrance. + + My Xmas was an exceedingly busy one. But it brought me great + consolation. The large number of men and women who received + holy communion was most edifying. Asking God to grant you a + blessed New Year, I am, + + Sincerely in Xto, + + X A. CHRISTIE. + + +It had been over four months since I had written my letters for redress +to him, and he never once even acknowledged receipt of them, and in this +letter, as you can see, he never once mentioned anything about them. + +In my depressing perplexities, I had begun to think that there was no +such thing as redress in the order, and that the clause in my book of +rule, "the right to apply to high ecclesiastical authority," was a blind +and a farce, as was the teaching of "fatherly" kindness. + +As my eyes opened I realized that I might as well try to tear down the +mighty stone walls of the Rocky Mountains, which I could behold daily, +as to move the Roman Catholic "religious" machine to interest itself in +righting wrongs for a sister in the community. There was nothing for me +to do but live on and take whatever wrongs the system was pleased to +mete out to me to the end of my days, or to play the hypocrite for a few +years, waiting for something better, if those in authority saw fit to +give me a change. + +I should have had the same privilege of receiving and sending mail in +Canada as other American citizens are accorded, but not so. The system, +as it always does, demanded and delegated to itself the right to +scrutinize all mail sent or received by its subjects. So, in order that +I might send and receive letters dealing with subjects other than the +Roman Catholic religion and convent, I had to gain the confidence of a +"secular" and receive my mail outside the convent. + +I had written to a friend in Spokane, Washington, Mrs. A. J. Kearney, +who was a graduated nurse from St. Vincent's Hospital, telling her of my +trouble and that I was contemplating leaving the order, as I was at last +satisfied in my own mind that this was the only step to take. I received +an encouraging reply and wrote again, planning further. + +In the meantime, I continued my novenas to the Blessed Virgin Mary, St. +Anthony and St. Joseph, in heart-breaking sorrow and tears--praying for +enlightenment, as I had been doing for weeks and months. In all +earnestness and sincerity I was bowing, scraping, kneeling, pleading to +the images, the statues and the fourteen stations of the cross. + +At last, after so long a time, it came to me as if a thunderbolt had +come from Heaven, that these statues and images and relics could do me +no good. They were all clay and material. What I needed was something +divine, but after living what I had lived, I was now ready to believe in +nothing. I thought that if God was a just God, He could not and would +not permit such oppression and cruelties and injustices to be +perpetrated in the name of Christian religion and in His name. I decided +that if there was a God who was the Creator of heaven and earth and all +things therein, He would surely hear me if I would pour out my heart to +Him. So I fell upon my knees and prayed as I had never prayed +before--not to St. Anthony, not to St. Joseph, not to St. Vincent de +Paul, no, not even to the Blessed Virgin Mary or any other saint, but to +God Almighty, asking Him to show me the light and right; that "if what I +am living is right, give me strength and courage to live it and endure +it to the end, and I will try to believe it. But, O, God! if it is not +right, show me the right that I may do Thy will; be Thou my helper now +and forever," and I left my future in His hands, continuing to ask His +help and guidance each day. + +I had been suffering for several months from eye trouble, caused by the +excessive cold temperature, it being such a decided change from what I +had been accustomed to for so many years. I was being treated by the +government physician, but I used the trouble as a pretext to get +permission from Mother Nazareth, who was in Portland, to go to Spokane +to obtain the services of a specialist. The real reason for which I +wished to go to Spokane was to see Mrs. Kearney and make the final +arrangements for my leaving the community. + +About March 10, 1912, I went to Spokane. During my three weeks there I +stopped at the Sacred Heart Hospital. Mrs. Kearney was friendly to the +sisters of the hospital, so I had her accompany me to the office of Dr. +Hopkins, who was treating me. In that manner, Mrs. Kearney and I had +ample time to talk and perfect the plans for my emancipation from the +everlasting demands of Rome. + +When the time came, I could not reconcile myself fully to the thought of +leaving. My childhood and novitiate teaching of the terrible sins of the +outside world would come to my mind, and I would then think that I could +never leave the convent. The final test came two days before I left +Spokane for my return trip to Cranbrook. I concluded that I could not +get worse treatment in the world than I had received in the community; +that I would not have to work any harder in the world than I had for +nearly thirty-one years for the Roman Catholic system; that I would not +have to live a more abasing or humiliating life in the world than I had +been subjected to, by serving the meanest despotism of government; and I +realized that death was preferable and a thousand times more honorable +than to remain living in this sort of injustice. I loved the name +"Sister of Charity," but I knew I could no longer be a real Sister of +Charity under the cruel, oppressive, authoritative guidance I had +endured for so many years. I knew that I could be a better Sister of +Charity in the world than I could under the dictation of the Pope or his +representatives. + +On April 2d, I returned to Cranbrook to get my few belongings and to +spend a few days with my sister before making the change. My heart was +so filled with what I had planned, that I could not refrain from telling +her almost as soon as I arrived from Spokane. When I told her of my +decision to leave the order, neither of us could restrain our feelings +and it was a day of tears and sorrow. We could neither eat nor talk. So +in the evening I told her that I had intended to spend several days with +her before going, but as it would do neither of us any particular good, +only causing grief, sorrow, and in the end probably nervous prostration, +I had decided to leave on the next train, which was on the following +afternoon. + +The next morning I packed my trunk, then called my sister to my room and +asked her to read two letters which I had written while in Spokane, +excepting for the date, one to Archbishop Christie and one to Mother +Nazareth. I told her that the authorities and sisters of the order would +come to her with all kinds of reports in regard to my leaving, and that +I wanted her to read the letters so she would know for herself my +reasons for leaving. She read them and then said, "You will regret +this." I simply replied, "I cannot have more regrets than I have here." + +I had my trunk taken to the railroad station, and after lunch, in +company of my sister, I went to the post office where I mailed the two +letters, sending them by registered mail. Then we went to the station +and in a very few minutes the train arrived that was to take me from a +darkness to light and liberty that I had no conception of at that time. + +At 2:15 I boarded the train and left my poor, deluded sister standing +there alone, until the train started, and then watched her walk slowly +toward the hospital, until I was carried from her view. + +During this last visit to Cranbrook, my sister was in authority at the +hospital, the sister superior, Sister Mary Vincent, being away on +retreat. This I did not know until I arrived from Spokane, but it would +have been just the same if the superior would have been there, as I had +made up my mind to leave. + +My last letter written to Archbishop Christie, as Sister Lucretia, was +as follows: + + + Cranbrook, B. C. + St. Eugene Hospital, April 3, 1912. + + Most Reverend A. Christie, D.D., + Portland, Oregon. + + Very Dear Bishop: + + I have now had my situation before my eyes and present to my + mind the past eight months. I cannot reconcile myself to live + this punishment existence out, as I know others of my + companions are doing in exiled corners of this earth, like + five-year-old children who dare to speak when they should have + been only seen. Really, this sort of treatment is equal to + locking a grown woman advanced in years up in a closet as a + child for misbehavior. The only difference the parent would + tell the child what its punishment was for, while the woman in + my case is not to be given a reason, except one false report by + my higher superior, which she heard and held against me years + before she knew me or was in authority, to knock me as she did + shortly after she was in office. + + The mission I was sent to was alright as far as mission goes, + but I will never believe that it was alright to me, under the + circumstances. If this had to be done, the blow might just as + well have been applied with a little less cruelty. Of all the + houses our very prosperous order owns and controls, I had to go + at my years of life to this place enclosed by snowy mountains, + the weather temperature being twenty to forty degrees below + zero about one-half the year. Having always lived in a warm + climate and not feeling well, I was unable to resist the cold. + It caused me systemic disturbance and the consequence was eye + trouble. The government doctor of the place said the cold did + it. + + I had to miss Sunday mass from the first of November to the + first Sunday in March. I had to sit with a blanket around me + near a radiator most of the winter and a comforter over the + window to keep the cold out. Splendid remedy to get one over + wretched loneliness and sorrow--to make one feel religious and + grateful for having worked and sacrificed ones self nearly to + the end of ones life and then hear from those over you, "now + you can work if you want to," and a sister stays where she is + sent, even if she dies, and more bold talk of that kind. + + I am not tired of being a Sister of Charity, but I am more than + tired living it under the conditions that we have to live it. I + will never be anything else at heart than a Sister of Charity; + I was that from the age of fifteen, and I will be that to my + dying day. It takes nothing short of a trained hypocrite to get + along in here. I do not think myself so good or of such + excellent worth--I lay no claim above being an ordinary person, + but if I do not have the spirit of a good religious and Sister + of Charity, I am sure not so many of those I have lived with + have it, and I would have to be punished to death, and then I + could not in my conscience copy the leading or guiding spirits + I lived with knowing all I do from daily practical life and + experience for years. If what was done to me in this change is + the good spirit, then I have not the least idea what good or + evil spirits mean. One thing I know it did for me; I have a + dreadful horror of a repetition of anything of the kind and + want to remove myself from its possibility. I was not only + deprived of every right, but of the least share of interest in + any one thing in the community. + + Now you know this is maddening and most cruel and + disheartening. This usage kills the body and all ones + personalities and fitness for anything. They have done to me + in action what others have been told boldly, in so many words, + when you are not wanted, get out of the way. After it is plain + to see one is about to the end of doing the very hardest work, + the meaning is, hurry up and die or get out of the order. It + has all it wants of you and is not going to need you or have + any further regard for you. + + I have made up my mind to leave and do what I can to get a new + lease on a home of some sort, because this means neither home, + occupation, nor pastime to me. + + I am asking the community two thousand dollars. That would be + for my clothing and towards getting myself situated for my + support. I cannot expect anyone to take me in on absolutely + nothing at my years. I am not able to work like a beginner, but + with that amount and with what I can do, I will arrange to get + along the best I can. + + I have been the means through my economy and ingenuity, of much + more than that to the community, without the regular earnings + of my services. In Canada, I was told that our community is + paying twenty dollars a month to some sisters that left, and + have been doing that for years. My request does not come to as + much, considering. + + I wish to get everything settled quietly. I dislike any + publicity about it whatever. As soon as I can get it I intend + to leave the country. + + I have asked dispensation, not that I intend to break any of + God's commandments. I cannot tell you how much I am pained to + have to leave you. I have shed many a tear since I left St. + Vincent's, and before I could decide to write this letter. If I + am to be exiled from friends, that would be only additional + sorrow, etc. Or, even if I were stationed where you are and + had to feel the uneasiness of some punishment coming upon me + for speaking to my higher superiors, that would not add very + much to making things agreeable. I appreciate your very great + and fatherly kindness to me, and I will always remember you as + a very dear friend. + + Begging a remembrance in your prayers, + + Most sincerely, + + SISTER LUCRETIA. + + P. S.--I leave here this afternoon at 2 p.m. My address until + things are settled is 0707 Toledo St., Spokane, Wash. + +My letter to Mother Nazareth was as follows: + + + St. Eugene Hospital, + Cranbrook, B. C., April 3, 1912. + + Mother M. Nazareth, + Portland, Oregon. + + Dear Mother: + + I have decided to leave the community. Will you please see + about obtaining the dispensation of my vows. I have written to + His Grace Archbishop Christie. + + If authority is all that is necessary to constitute right, I + think I can continue to save my soul better elsewhere, as that + was what I took these obligations upon myself for. I am not + tired of being a Sister of Charity, but I am more than tired of + living it the way we have to do. I did not know until last + summer that the spirit of a good religious and Sister of + Charity meant to be the victim of evil reports, and that + reports were for the satisfaction of the feelings of those in + authority. I lay no claim to high perfection, but I cannot see + virtue or religion in being taken advantage of as I was. I + have always tried to do my best, but at last I see plainly that + it is impossible to do enough or to sacrifice enough. The + extreme cold has caused me systemic disturbance and the result + is eye trouble. The doctor said it was the cold that did it. + + Well, I do not want to refer to too much useless talk. I have + made arrangements with a friend of mine for a home. But as I + cannot expect anyone to take me in on absolutely nothing at my + years, not being able to work any more like I did twenty-five + years ago, I must have some little means, and I ask two + thousand dollars which would be for my clothing and towards my + support. With that amount and with what little I can do, I will + have to manage somehow. + + I wish to have things settled quietly, if possible, as I do not + care to have publicity about this affair any more than the + community I am leaving. I must have some means to go out on or + I would not ask anything. As soon as I can get this little sum + requested, I will leave the country. + + Begging a remembrance in your prayers, and those of the + community and wishing the community and every one of the + sisters God's blessing, + + Very sincerely and respectfully, + + SISTER LUCRETIA, + S. C. S. P. + + P. S.--I leave here at two p.m. My address, until I get away + will be 0707 Toledo St., Spokane, Wash. If I can get the + business part settled as soon as possible, I can move on. This + same address will forward my dispensation whenever it can be + sent to same. + + Humbly yours, Sr. L. + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + + I QUIT THE ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH. + + +After I had signed and sent these two letters, copied in the preceding +chapter, to the agents of the ecclesiastical system, I thought that I +had declared the independence of my personal liberty and freedom. I had +not the least intention of leaving the Church of Rome, as I still +believed that it was the only true church, outside of which there was no +salvation. But before many weeks had passed, conditions so shaped +themselves, through the persecutions of Rome's representatives, that I +decided that the liberty and freedom I hoped to have gained by leaving +the convent, was not to be found even in the church. + +I arrived in Spokane at nine o'clock on the evening of April 3, 1912, +and went direct to the home of Mrs. Kearney. She received me very +cordially and we had a long talk before retiring. This first night in +the world was a long, sleepless one for me. Everything seemed reversed, +so to speak, and my heart was heavy from the terrible ordeal I had +endured for the last two days. + +The following morning, April 4th, I discarded the burdensome garb, that +great load of black serge, and donned a large-flowered kimona, the only +other clothes I had, and this was given me. This was the first day +since July 30th, 1881, that I had attired myself in any other than the +garb of the Sisters of Charity of the Roman Catholic system--nearly +thirty-one years. My hair, which was about long enough to hang in my +eyes, I tied back with a pretty little red ribbon, which had been on a +candy box. + +On Monday, April 8th, Sister Matilda of St. Vincent's telephoned to me, +saying that she was at the Sacred Heart Hospital with Mother Nazareth +and asked me to come there to see them. When they could not prevail upon +me to do so, they condescended to come to Mrs. Kearney's to see me. + +Their visit lasted about three hours. In tears and, seemingly, great +sorrow at my leaving the community, they tried to get me to return to +Cranbrook, saying that none of the sisters except the superior and my +own sister knew anything about my leaving the order. Our rule says that +if a sister leaves the community of her own free will, she cannot return +without dispensation. So I told Mother Nazareth that I could not go +back, as it was against the rule. She then handed me a letter from +Archbishop Christie and said that that was my dispensation to return. I +read as follows: + + + Portland, Oregon, April 7, 1912. + + Dear Sister: + + The contents of your letter was a great shock to me. I never + thought you would give way to the temptation to leave your + order. I have requested Mother N. (Nazareth) to go and see you. + + You did not become a sister in order to be appreciated and + praised for the talents which God has given you. You entered + religion to do God's work and to save your soul. + + Now, sister, return to your convent. Do not allow the evil one + to induce you to leave it. Do as Mother N. directs to do. + + Asking God to direct and bless you, I am, + + Sincerely in Xto, + + X A. CHRISTIE. + + +I flatly refused to do as Archbishop Christie requested. Mother Nazareth +then offered me my choice of the Sacred Heart Hospital in Spokane, or to +return to St. Vincent's Hospital in Portland. When I refused to go to +any house as a sister, she offered me my choice of any of the houses of +the order, as a home, or boarder, as long as I lived. I had seen too +many poor, old sisters, who had received a home such as they were +offering me, and knew too well what it meant--"hurry up and get off the +face of the earth"--and so I refused this, seemingly, very lucrative +offer. + +After many more entreaties and the shedding of many tears, I finally +said to these two "holy scheming-spirits" of the Roman Catholic system, +"I am out, and I am out to stay. If you want someone back, go and take +Sister Zita back or some of the other sisters who are sitting in the +four corners of the community-world doing penance." (Sister Zita was a +poor sister who had left the community for about the same reasons I had +left, after serving the church for thirty years. She had begged the +system to take her back, but they absolutely refused to do so. Sister +Zita told me this herself, together with some of the terrible wrongs +that had been perpetrated upon her.) + +When they were convinced that I could not be persuaded to return, they +then wanted my garb, saying that it did not belong to me. I said that I +had worn it long enough, and that I thought I was entitled to keep it. +Mother Nazareth then said, "The community might DEMAND it." I answered, +"DEMAND! That is the word that has put me where I am, DEMAND. You +DEMAND!" (This conversation led to the naming of my book.) + +At last they were beaten and did not know what course to pursue. +Finally, Mother Nazareth said, "What will we tell Archbishop Christie?" +I said, "Tell him the truth; tell him what has taken place in this +room," and with that they left. + +On April 9th, "Father" Carti, a Jesuit priest from the Gonzaga College, +came to see me. + +He had been sent to me by the community in regard to the amount that I +had asked in the last letter I had written them. He told me that the +community could not give the two thousand dollars, as other sisters +would leave and want the same, but that they might give me one thousand +dollars. + +He then asked me to return to the convent, saying that I did not have +dispensation, and that my being out like this could _not_ be so, and +that I was not out in the world. I looked around to assure myself that I +was really out, and said, "Well, I _am_ out, and I am out to stay." He +tried to convince me that I was in honor bound to go to some religious +house till I would be released from my vows by the church, naming +several Roman Catholic institutions, lastly, the House of the Good +Shepherd. I looked at him in scorn and repeated, "The House of the Good +Shepherd?" as the sisters of the order of Sisters of Charity always had +a horror for the very name "House of the Good Shepherd." When he saw how +I felt over this, he very quickly offered me a home at the Gonzaga +College, although that is a Jesuit institution and, as a general rule, +women are not allowed there. When all his efforts had failed, he said, +in a cunning manner, that as I had trouble in the community, so I would +now have trouble in the world. + +I did not realize the significance of this statement at that time--I +think Rome's representative had slipped a little--but in the few years +to follow I have surely understood the full meaning of it. That is a +very true Jesuitical teaching of the Roman Catholic System--Rome rule or +ruin. + +I told this "holy father" that the community had sent him to see me on +business, and that I did not need his exhortation. The business was soon +over, I refusing all his offers of every nature, and he retired. + +On Thursday, April 11th, Sister Rita visited me. We had as pleasant a +time as could be expected under the circumstances. She informed me as to +the scandalous manner Mother Nazareth and Sister Matilda had found me +dressed when they visited me--"with a flowered kimona and a red ribbon +around my hair." She said that they had told Archbishop Christie about +it. She also told me that the sisters at St. Vincent's were praying and +had forty candles burning for my return. + +I read her a copy of my letter for redress to Archbishop Christie, which +I had mailed August 28, 1911. She was much surprised that he had not +answered, and could not hold him free from blame for the awful wrongs, +as he had the authority to right them if he cared to. She endeavored to +get my garb, saying that I had no further use for it, but I was +continually on my guard, knowing that even my dear, good friend and +former "chum," Sister Rita, could not go beyond the Roman dictation. + +The first Sunday after I had left the convent was Easter Sunday, but I +could not go to mass, as I did not have any clothing except "the +flowered kimona." By the second Sunday, April 14th, with the assistance +of Mrs. Kearney, I had secured sufficient clothes to be attired fairly +respectable, and I decided that I would go to church. I did not care to +be conspicuous, or to mix with the people very much, as I was not +accustomed to the ways of the world as yet, so I decided to go to +Hilyard, a suburb of Spokane, to hear "holy mass" and the sermon. + +During the entire service, it all seemed darker and more stupid than at +any time during my past life. I thought it was due to the newness of my +present life, and I left the church in silence. + +On Saturday morning, April 20th, Sister Rita came to visit me for the +second time since I had left. As she entered the door she said that this +time she had taken it upon herself to come and see her dear friend, +Sister Lucretia, and that she was going to stay with me till Sunday +night. + +Think of it, people, how Rome was using this dear, good friend of mine +to do its work. I still had enough Roman Catholicism embedded in my +heart and mind to watch her, even at night, sleeping with one eye open, +so to speak. My suspicions were so strong that I had my few belongings +moved to safe-keeping during her stay with me. + +She told me that I did not look right in civilian clothes, and that I +could never look as nice in any other as the sister's garb. She tried to +induce me to clothe myself as a sister again and return with her, saying +that she could get the consent of the ecclesiastical authorities and +the superiors of the community for us to take a trip to Rome and other +parts of Europe. + +This was a mighty temptation to me, as I had wished many times to see +the Vatican and visit the Pope, but I knew that if I accepted this offer +I would have to return to the community, and now, as I was out, I was +determined to stay; so I told her that I could not accept the offer, as +I did not intend to return to the sisterhood. Many times since, I have +looked back to this visit of Sister Rita, and concluded that some +guiding hand, some power, greater and mightier than my own, was +directing my actions and decisions on the great temptations that were +being placed before me. + +On Monday, April 22d, Mother Nazareth and Sister Matilda came to see me +again. Mother Nazareth told me that I was living in mortal sin every day +for not having dispensation from my vows. I told her that it was through +no fault of my own, as I was waiting for them to get my dispensation. +She then took a long document from her pocket, asking me to sign it for +my dispensation. I looked at it and informed her that it was written in +Latin and that I did not understand Latin sufficiently to sign my name +to a document written in that language. She then handed me another +document, and upon examination, I found that it was written in French. I +told her that I did not understand French sufficiently to sign my name +to it, and asked her to explain it to me. (I knew from former +association with her and Sister Matilda that neither of them could read +French or Latin.) Without any explanation she handed me the third +document. This one was written in English. I asked them to excuse me for +a minute and I went to an adjoining room, where, in the presence of +Mrs. Kearney, I copied the following, which was under the heading on the +document, "Reasons for leaving the Order": + +"Community life has become wearisome to me, and, therefore, it +interferes with the saving of my soul. I am convinced that it is best +for me to return to the world." + +I returned to the room where the two sisters were and handed them the +document, informing them that I could not sign it, as it did not contain +the reasons for my leaving the order, as I had never been weary a day in +my life. I told them that they both knew the reasons for which I left, +and, if they did not, they could find them in my letter to the community +which was written when I left the order. "Such lies!" I said, "Why can't +you be honest? I can send my own reasons to Rome and get dispensation +for myself when I get ready." + +Two days later, "Father" Carti came to see me for the second time, with +practically the same message as before, viz., to return to the community +and in regards to settlement of my claims against them. + +The next day, Thursday, April 25th, "Father" Carti telephoned to me and +asked me to come to the Gonzaga College, so we could talk further in +regard to the settlement and if possible, come to some agreement. + +Mrs. Kearney accompanied me to the college, and when "Father" Carti saw +that I had a witness, he asked, "Do you want this woman to hear what we +have to say?" I answered, "Yes, I want her to hear whatever is said." He +hinted that there would be no business transacted in her company, so we +left. + +From the college I called on my attorney, whom I had retained as my +adviser, and he advised me to give them till the first of May to settle +for two thousand dollars. On returning home, I telephoned to "Father" +Carti, and informed him that I had been to see my attorney since I left +the college and that I would give them (the community) until the first +of May to settle for the two thousand dollars I originally asked; and +that in the future all business was to be transacted through my +attorney, as I was not physically able to attend to it myself, being on +the verge of nervous collapse. He was very angry, saying that I was +wrong and had no business to go to secular law (meaning a secular +attorney) and that we could have settled it ourselves. + +I had been out of the sisterhood nearly four weeks, and had attended +church only once, so now I thought I would take up my religion again and +attend mass and church service. So, on Sunday, April 28th, I again went +to Hilyard and heard the Latin mass and the priest preach. During the +sermon I was looking at the statues and other religious show in the +church, and then and there, in that house, being used for so-called +religious services, God revealed Himself to me. The whole show really +was nauseating to me, and before the sermon was finished I retired as +quietly as I could. I had heard of the idols and images of the Chinese +Joss-house, and that is just as it appeared to me that day. When I +arrived home, I told Mrs. Kearney to not awaken me again for mass, +unless I told her to do so. + +The following week, Mrs. Kearney came to me and told me that "Father" +Carti had told her to put me out of her house, that by keeping me there +it would hurt her with the sisters, the priests and the Roman Catholics. +My answer was that I had left the sisterhood because of the wrongs and +oppressive, tyrannical treatment; now I see that there is something +wrong with that religion, too. If they are going to follow and hound and +down me, I am through with them, and I do not want anything further to +do with any of them. I also told her that if anything happened me, or if +I got sick, to call the first Protestant minister she could find. + +This instance, together with the persecutions that had been going on +since I had been out of the sisterhood, caused me to decide conclusively +in my own mind that I did not want anything to do with them. + +I had been a Roman Catholic up to that moment, and had given them no +cause to treat me in that manner, other than having left the sisterhood, +as many sisters do, but now they did not care what became of me. Mrs. +Kearney was the only friend I had in Spokane to whom I could go and this +was probably the last subterfuge of the Hierarchy to force me back to +their clutches. + +So I became a Protestant, not in reality for some time, but I was no +longer a Roman Catholic. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + + FORM FOR DISPENSATION OF THE "HOLY" VOWS--MY SUIT AND SETTLEMENT WITH + THE SISTERS OF CHARITY. + + +I was informed by Mrs. Kearney that Mother Nazareth had given her fifty +dollars so she could purchase some clothes for me. This was a princely +sum, after all the years of service I had given them. I have never been +able to figure in my own mind, whether this was supposed to be a +settlement or whether it was some of the charity the sisters were +supposed to do. + +Yes, they are called "Sisters of Charity," but with all my experience +with them I now have to rack my brain to find the charity done by the +Roman Catholic system, through them. If some person died at the hospital +and left some clothes that were not claimed by anyone, they would be +given to some poor person and call it "charity." If some patient could +not or would not pay all of their bill, it would be entered in the books +as "charity." But, God forbid that I should blame the poor sisters for +what they do _not do_. It is the sisters who do the charity--not for the +poor people--but for the church, by giving their life's service. It is +their bounden duty to do as they are told, and their troubles are great +enough without me adding to their heavy load. On the other hand, may +God speed the day when the system, which holds these poor women, as it +had me for thirty-one years, will be investigated by the proper +authorities; and when this comes to pass, we need have no fear of the +outcome. + +After Mother Nazareth's last visit to me, and when she was convinced +that I would do generally as I saw fit in regard to the dispensation +from my vows, I received the following in due time: + + St. Vincent's Hospital, + Portland, Oregon, May 10, 1912. + + Miss Elizabeth Schoffen, + Spokane, Washington. + + Dear Miss Schoffen: + +Enclosed you will find form to guide you in petitioning for the +dispensation of your holy vows. Copy it upon paper found herein, and +fill out No. 2 according to your desire. + +Please return as soon as possible, as it has to be signed by the +Superiors before going to Rome. + + Most sincerely yours, + + SR. M. NAZARETH. + +The form to guide me in petitioning "His Holiness" was: + + To His Holiness Pius X: + Most Holy Father: + +I, the undersigned, a sister of the Institute of the Daughters of +Charity, Servants of the Poor, of Montreal, Canada, respectfully submit +to your Holiness the following: + + 1.--I am fifty-one years of age and professed (vocal) + twenty-nine years. + + 2.--Here sister may give her reasons herself, to suit + her own disposition. She is perfectly free........... + ..................................................... + ..................................................... + ..................................................... + + 3.--In consequence I humbly suplicate Your Holiness + to give me dispensation from my vows of poverty, chastity + and obedience, and to grant me permission to live in the + world in secular habit. + + Spokane, Washington, this ........ (date) ........ 1912. + + (Sign) Sister Lucretia, nee Elizabeth Schoffen. + +Notice it says, "She is perfectly free." Yes, I was "perfectly free" +after the agents of "His Holiness" found out in plain words spoken by me +that I was through answering to their demands. I was "perfectly free," +and yet in the next breath, according to the Roman Catholic idea, I +_had_ to have permission from an Italian Pope even to wear the common +clothes of an American citizen. Think of it, dear reader, I was an +American born citizen, under the protection of the laws of this country; +but because I had been born and raised a Roman Catholic, and then +induced to take the vows of the Roman Catholic sisterhood, I _had_ no +rights as an American citizen, and had to have the permission of this +self-styled "infallible" pope before I could live like other people +live. I might say right here, that I have never applied for, and +consequently have never received the dispensation from my vows as a +sister in the Roman Catholic Church, as I soon learned after I left that +organization that the Church of Rome had no right in the first place to +deprive me of the liberties guaranteed every citizen of this country. + +The authorities of the Roman Catholic system will tell the civil +authorities and the Protestants that the adherents of the Roman Catholic +Church are citizens first and Roman Catholics second. But that is not +according to the inner teaching of that system. Read what one of their +own representatives, the late "Father" D. S. Phelan, has said, when +speaking from his own "throne": + +"They tell us that we think more of the church than we do of the United +States; of course we do. Why, if the government of the United States +were at war with the church, we would say tomorrow, to hell with the +government of the United States; and if the church and all the +governments of the world were at war, we would say, to hell with all the +governments of the world. They say we are Catholics first and Americans +decidedly afterwards. There is no doubt about it.... The Catholics of +the world are Catholics first and always; they are Americans, they are +Germans, they are French, or they are English afterwards." (The Patriots +Manual, as copied from the Western Watchman, issue of June 27, 1912.) + +Think on these points, my dear American friend! Use the brain which God +has given you, and decide for yourself if an institution such as the +Roman Catholic system is an American institution. Have we room within +our borders for any other than that which will uphold our laws, and +fight, if need be, for the protection of the principles upon which this +great democracy is builded? + +As I have previously stated, I told the community that I would give them +until May 1st to settle with me for two thousand dollars. This they +refused to do, so my attorney wrote as follows: + + Spokane, Wash., May 2, 1912. + + Mother M. Nazareth, Prov. Sup., + St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Oregon. + + Dear Madam: + + We have placed in our hands for settlement the matter of Sister + Lucretia, which we are informed you are familiar with. If this + matter can be settled for twenty thousand dollars, we are in a + position to settle it, and if not attended to at once, we will + take such steps as may become necessary to enforce settlement + at once. + + Yours very truly, + SCOTT & CAMPBELL. + +The community made no favorable reply to the above communication, so it +was decided that I, with my attorney, Mr. Scott, would go to Portland, +to look into the matter of filing suit against them for salary due me +for my services at St. Vincent's Hospital. + +In the Spokesman Review (a Spokane daily) there appeared two articles +about the case, issue of June 9, 1912. The first article was a lengthy +one, discussing in general the case, and containing a statement obtained +from me. The second, a dispatch from Portland, I will reprint. It will +explain itself: + + _SUPERIOR SURPRISED AT SUIT._ + + _Hospital Head Gives Sister Lucretia High Testimonial._ + + Portland, Ore., June 8.--Sister Alexander, superior at St. + Vincent's Hospital, was surprised to learn from Spokane + tonight that Sister Lucretia threatened proceedings against the + order, and gave Sister Lucretia a high testimonial for her work + while at the hospital. + + "Sister Lucretia severed her connections with the hospital and + with the Sisters of Charity last April," said Sister Alexander. + "She was dissatisfied at having been assigned to another field + of labor, that at St. Eugene's Hospital at Cranbrook, B. C., + after having served in Portland so long. + + "There was nothing improper in her leaving, as she was free to + leave the order if she choose. She did not express any hostile + feelings toward the sisters, however, and seemed to have been + perfectly satisfied with her treatment. I have been in touch + with her up to a few weeks ago and have received no intimation + of her intention to bring suit. + + "I cannot imagine on what grounds she bases her contention. She + was an excellent nurse while at the hospital and was well and + favorably known about the city." + + Before entering the order, Sister Lucretia's home was near + Spokane, and she has been at St. Vincent's Hospital here almost + the entire time of her sisterhood. + +On June 10th I donned my sisterhood garb, and in company with Mr. Scott, +went to Portland. The reason for my wearing the garb again, was that I +had a clerical half-fare railroad book, which had been given to me by +the community for my use, and as I had not received my dispensation, I +was still a sister and was entitled to wear the garb of the Roman +Catholic sisterhood, if I so choose. + +During my entire sisterhood I had always traveled either half-fare, or +on a pass which would generally be made out for the superior and her +companion. The sisters were trained to imitate the hand-writing of the +sisters in whose names the passes or half-fare books were issued, so +they could sign the name appearing on these passes or half-fare books. +At retreat time these passes and books were kept busy, carrying sisters +one way, and then returned by mail for others to travel on. + +I remember once when I was traveling on Mother Theresa's pass, and after +I had signed her name, the conductor who knew both Mother Theresa and +myself, came to me in a good-natured, smiling manner and said that I was +a rather young-looking Mother Theresa. + +I returned to Spokane, June 18th, again using the half-fare book. The +authorities of the Roman Hierarchy may deny that I had this clergy +half-fare book, but I might say right here, let them deny! I still have +the book with forty-two tickets in it, good only in the year 1912, and +with the stamp of the Trans-Continental Clergy Bureau, January 27, 1912, +and even the Roman Catholic Hierarchy cannot deny that I was a sister in +good standing in January, 1912. + +On July 21st I bade adieu to Spokane. I had just boarded the train when +a priest, whom I had never seen before, came to me and began to question +me as to where I was going, who I was, etc. This was the first time I +had been alone since I had been out of the sisterhood, and whether this +was an accidental meeting or whether he was sent purposely I am unable +to say. I answered his questions, and then asked him his name. He told +me "Father Cronin." While he did not annoy me on the journey to +Portland, I was very suspicious, and was very careful that he did not +have a chance to get any of my few belongings, as I had some very +valuable papers in my suitcase. + +Mrs. Kearney had come to Portland before and had made arrangements for +hotel accommodations. + +The law firm of Kollock and Zollinger were my representatives in +Portland, arrangements having been previously made by Mr. Scott with +them. + +My complaint against the Sisters of Charity having been completed, I +signed it on the twenty-fourth day of July, 1912, and it was duly filed +in the Circuit Court of Multnomah County. + + _COPY OF COMPLAINT._ + + _In the Circuit Court of the State of Oregon for Multnomah + County._ + + Elizabeth Schoffen, Plaintiff, ) + vs. ) + Sisters of Charity of Providence, St. ) COMPLAINT + Vincent's Hospital, a corporation, ) + Defendant.) + + Comes now the plaintiff herein and for cause of action against + defendant alleges: + + I. + + That defendant is a corporation, incorporated, organized and + existing under and by virtue of the laws of the State of + Oregon; + + II. + + That at the special instance and request of the defendant the + plaintiff performed work and labor for the defendant as a + nurse at, in and about the hospital owned and operated by the + defendant in the City of Portland, County of Multnomah and + State of Oregon, known and described as St. Vincent's Hospital, + from and about July 7, 1893, to and including the first day of + July, 1899; + + III. + + That from and after the 1st day of July, 1899, to and including + July 26, 1911, the plaintiff performed work and labor for the + defendant as nurse and manager and superintendent of a floor in + the hospital owned and operated by the defendant in the City of + Portland, County of Multnomah and State of Oregon; + + IV. + + That during all of said period of the time the account between + plaintiff and defendant was an open, mutual and current + account, and that plaintiff continuously performed work and + labor during said period for the defendant, and defendant + during said period furnished and gave to the plaintiff clothing + and board and lodging; + + V. + + That the reasonable value of the services rendered by plaintiff + to defendant as a nurse, between July 7, 1893, and the 1st day + of July, 1899, over and above and in addition to the clothing + and board and lodging furnished by defendant to plaintiff, was + and is the sum of $100.00 per month; that the reasonable value + of the services rendered and work and labor performed by + plaintiff for defendant as nurse and manager or superintendent + of the floor in the hospital owned and operated by the + defendant, from the 1st day of July, 1899, to and including + July 26, 1911, over and above and in addition to the clothing + and board and lodging furnished and given by the defendant to + the plaintiff during the said period, was and is the sum of + $150.00 per month; + + VI. + + That the plaintiff has demanded of defendant payment of said + sums, but the defendant has wholly failed, refused and + neglected to pay same or any part thereof, and that there is + now due and owing from defendant to plaintiff on account + thereof the sum of $28,800.00. + + WHEREFORE, plaintiff prays for judgment against the defendant + in the sum of $28,800.00, together with the costs and + disbursements herein. + + SCOTT & COMPBELL, + KOLLOCK & ZOLLINGER, + Attorneys for Plaintiff. + + STATE OF OREGON, + County of Multnomah--ss. + + I, Elizabeth Schoffen, being first duly sworn, depose and say + that I am the plaintiff in the above action; and the foregoing + complaint is true as I verily believe. + + (Signed) ELIZABETH SCHOFFEN. + + Subscribed and sworn to before me this 24th day of July, 1912. + + (Signed) JOHN K. KOLLOCK, + + (Seal) Notary Public for the State of Oregon. + +The summons was served on the Sisters of Charity and on Sister Alexander +personally, on July 28, 1912, according to the record of the sheriff's +office. Soon after this, and several other times before the answer to +the complaint was filed, which was nearly four months later, the +attorneys for the defendants endeavored to settle for various amounts up +to $1,500.00. The answer to the complaint was as follows: + + _In the Circuit Court of the State of Oregon for Multnomah + County._ + + Elizabeth Schoffen, Plaintiff, ) + vs. ) + Sisters of Charity of Providence, St. ) ANSWER + Vincent's Hospital, a corporation, ) + Defendant. ) + + Now comes the defendant and answers the complaint herein as + follows: + + Admits that it is a corporation organized and existing under + and by virtue of the laws of the State of Oregon. + + Save as herein admitted, defendant denies each and every + allegation of the complaint. + + Further answering, defendant alleges that its incorporation was + effected by and on behalf of members of a charitable and + religious organization known as "Sisters of Charity of the + House of Providence in the Territory of Washington," and that + its affairs during all the time stated in the complaint have + been managed and are still managed by and through the said + religious organization acting through the medium of the + corporation. Said organization has been engaged during all the + time stated in the complaint and is still engaged in charitable + and religious work, conducting, among other institutions, a + hospital in the City of Portland, State of Oregon. + + Prior to the 7th day of July, 1893, plaintiff applied to the + members of said religious organization to be admitted as a + member thereof, for the purpose of gaining the spiritual + advantages accruing to the members thereof, and for the purpose + of engaging in religious and charitable work with the members + of said religious organization. On some day prior to said 7th + day of July, 1893, the plaintiff, upon such application, was + admitted to membership in said religious organization and has + been engaged since that time and up to the 26th day of July, + 1911, in religious and charitable work with the members of said + organization, including work in and about the care of the sick + at the said St. Vincent's Hospital in the City of Portland, + Oregon. + + At the time when plaintiff applied for membership in said + religious community, and at the time she was admitted as a + member thereof, and during all of the time plaintiff continued + to be a member thereof, and during all the time plaintiff was + engaged in such religious and charitable work aforesaid, it was + distinctly understood by plaintiff and her acceptance into said + religious community and the permission to engage in charitable + and religious work, with the members of said religious + community, through the medium of the corporation defendant + herein, and otherwise was based upon the distinct and expressed + understanding that no pecuniary reward or financial return of + any kind whatsoever was to be paid to plaintiff for any work + done at the instance of the members of said religious + community, or at the instance of the corporation defendant + herein, or for any services of any kind in any manner connected + with the work of said religious organization and of the + corporation, the defendant, herein. + + Wherefore, defendant demands that plaintiff take nothing by + this action, and that it has judgment for costs and its + disbursements. + + M. M. CONNOR, + CAREY & KERR, + Attorneys for Defendant. + + STATE OF OREGON, + County of Multnomah--ss. + + I, Sister Alexander, being first duly sworn, depose and say + that I am an officer, to wit., Superioress of the defendant in + the above entitled action; that I have read the foregoing + answer, know the contents thereof, and believe the same to be + true. + + SISTER ALEXANDER. + + Subscribed and sworn to before me this 15th day of November, + 1912. + + (Seal) M. M. CONNOR, + Notary Public for Oregon. + +I have explained throughout this book the kind of "religious and +charitable" work I was engaged in. Very true, as stated in the above +document, when I entered, I believed, as I was taught by the priest and +sisters, that the most certain way to save my soul was by entering the +convent and living a good, pure, "holy" life as a "virgin spouse of the +church and Christ," and, if possible, to become a great "saint" so that +I might secure a high place in Heaven among the "saints" and near our +Lord. But, the spiritual benefits I derived were that I was compelled by +the teachings and practices of the Roman Catholic convent system to be +an unwilling hypocrite, and in the end had to seek religion and +consolation out of the convent and the Roman Catholic Church. + +My suit against the community was evidently causing them much +discomfort, as the attorneys for the defendant, several times during the +winter offered to settle, but for such small amounts that I could not +accept. By spring they had reached the sum of three thousand dollars, +and asked me to pay my attorneys from that amount. This I refused, as I +believed I could force them to pay more than that if the case would come +to court. I knew at least that I could cause them very much uneasiness. + +By March, I was offered three thousand dollars, and the Sisters of +Charity promised to pay my attorneys' fee. My attorneys and myself +conferred in this matter, and as I was nearly destitute, I thought it +best to take what I could get and have the strain off my mind, and I +authorized Mr. Scott and Mr. Kollock to notify the defendant's attorneys +that I would accept their offer. So, on March 15, 1913, I received from +the Sisters of Charity of Providence, through their representatives, the +sum of three thousand dollars for thirty-one years of service to them. +My attorneys' fee was fifteen hundred dollars, which was promptly paid. +So it cost the Roman Catholic Hierarchy the sum of four thousand five +hundred dollars ($4,500.00) for the service I had given them, and to +keep the case out of court and the publicity of the same, which would +have been a bankruptcy producer for St. Vincent's Hospital. + +A great deal has been said by the Roman Catholics about the _large_ sum +of money the church paid me after I left the sisterhood. I will agree +with my Roman Catholic friends that the amount I received from the +community was a magnificent sum, when seen in _silver dollar pieces_. +But, if they will consider the thirty-one years' service I gave them, +they will very readily see that I received just about one dollar and +eighty-six cents ($1.86) a week, most of the time nursing and managing +one of the floors of St. Vincent's Hospital. A nurse in the world +ordinarily is paid twenty-five dollars a week; now my good Roman +Catholic "knocker," compare that with the "large" sum I received. If the +service of a nurse is worth that amount, why is a sister-nurse not worth +just as much, if she does the work required or more? + +I am not complaining about the pay I received. I feel that I am repaid, +_not in dollars and cents_, but in experience. I am only too thankful to +think that I saw the folly of the whole system in time to be free before +I would be called upon to face my Maker, and I trust and pray that in +His great judgment, He may give me strength and health and wisdom for +many years to come that I may be able to tell my story to those in +darkness and indifference. + +[Illustration: _Fac-simile of Check I Received from Attorneys for +Sisters of Charity, as Payment for Thirty-one Years' Service Rendered to +Them._] + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + + MY RECOMMENDATION FROM THE DOCTORS OF PORTLAND--THE GOOD SAMARITAN--I + AFFILIATE WITH A PROTESTANT CHURCH--MY NEW WORK. + + +When I came to Portland, and before I had settled with the community, I +decided that I would try to make my living by nursing, as that was +practically all I knew. + +I had my diploma to show that I was a graduated nurse, that is, so the +diploma said, and in addition to that I received the signatures of +eighty-eight physicians of Portland, recommending me as an efficient +nurse, so I thought I had sufficient proof that I was capable to do at +least ordinary nursing. + +My recommendation from the physicians was as follows: + + Portland, Oregon, July 31, 1912. + +THIS IS TO CERTIFY that we, the undersigned, physicians and surgeons in +the City of Portland, Oregon, have been well acquainted for many years +with Elizabeth Schoffen, otherwise known as Sister Lucretia, and have +been thoroughly familiar with her work as a nurse and member of the +order of Sisters of Charity of Providence at St. Vincent's Hospital in +the City of Portland; that in our opinion she is a thoroughly competent +nurse; + +That for a number of years prior to July, 1911, she was in charge of one +of the floors at St. Vincent's Hospital, and was an efficient and +capable superintendent and officer; that to the best of our knowledge +and belief, while a nurse at St. Vincent's Hospital and particularly +while in charge of one of the floors, she performed faithfully and +efficiently all duties entrusted to her by the management of the +hospital and by the doctors who came in contact with her. + +As I have stated above, I received the signatures of eighty-eight +prominent physicians and surgeons of Portland to this document, the +original of which I have in safe-keeping. + +With these recommendations and the promise of several of the physicians +who were prominent at St. Vincent's that they would help me get started +in my work, I opened a nursing home in East Portland with a friend +nurse, in September. + +Nearly every day during the fall and winter I went in search of +work--most of the time walking, as nickels were not very +plentiful--visiting the doctors' offices, hoping against hope that I +might induce them to send a few patients to the Home. + +During the winter we just about made expenses. As yet, I had a very +faint idea of how the Roman Catholic boycott was influencing the +pubic--probably not openly, but influencing it just the same, so that +people were afraid to come to the Home, or to send anyone there. By the +end of winter I realized that I could not succeed in this manner, but, +nevertheless, I put forth every effort. + +It had been almost a year since I had left the Romish institution. I had +not become accustomed to the ways of the world sufficiently to know how +to search for work intelligently. I was completely "down and out," not +knowing what to do to make my living except to nurse, and I had been a +failure at that up to this time, being unable to obtain the work. My +sorrow weighed upon my mind and heart, which was already broken and +crushed by the awful Romish convent cruelty and oppression. No priest, +no sister, nor was ever a messenger from any of their so-called +"religious and charitable" institutions, sent to me to do a kind turn +whatever. After thirty-one years of service to the Roman Catholic +System, it seemed to me that the hardest and harshest of masters, not of +hell itself, would have shown me a little mercy. + +It was in this condition that, one day in the late winter I had been out +from early in the morning, walking the streets in quest of some honest +employment that I might keep body and soul together. My clothing was +very thin; my feet nearly bare. I arrived _home_ about nine o'clock in +the evening, tired and disappointed from the day's unsuccessful effort, +as I had done many other nights. Had I been successful, it would have +helped the woman I was with just as much as it would have helped me, and +it would only be natural to think that she would have been very anxious +to know about the day's result. But, quite to the contrary, when I +arrived home this particular evening the doors were all locked against +me, and by a woman who pleased to call herself Protestant. And I wish it +plainly understood that this was not a warm summer night, but just the +opposite, a cold, dark, wintry night in the latter part of February. +Could anyone blame me for believing the terrible stories I had heard +about Protestant people while I was in the convent? + +I made my presence known by knocking on the door, but this lady who was +comfortably warm in her bed did not condescend to stir herself to admit +me. I found a window which was not locked and I entered by climbing +through it. When she saw that I was inside she asked, "How did you get +in?" Indeed, I will never forget that question. Imagine, if you can, the +feeling I had. There were six vacant beds in the house that night, but +with the unwelcome feeling which was implied by her actions and talk, I +did not retire, but laid on the sofa in the clothes I had worn during +the day, as I did for several nights to follow. Shame, shame on such +Protestant people! To my sorrow I have found many who have the same +spirit that this lady had. She evidently did not care what became of me. +If she did not want me there, why did she not tell me? No, she would +rather break what little spirits I had remaining. + +In the meantime, I had made the acquaintance of two real Protestant +people, Mr. and Mrs. E. U. Morrison. I went to Mrs. Morrison the +following morning and told her about the above incident. She told me +that I did not have to endure this kind of treatment, and that, if I +wished, I could move to her home, and that as long as she had a crust of +bread it would be shared with me. I accepted her very kind offer, and +moved a few days later, March 1st. From that day till now, they have +been the Good Samaritan to me, always the same in all kindness and +Christian spirit. All I am, all I have today, I owe it, to a certain +extent, to these good people, Mr. and Mrs. Morrison. "For I was an +hungered, and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink; I +was a stranger, and ye took me in; naked, and ye clothed me; I was sick, +and ye visited me; I was in prison, and ye came unto me." Matt. 25:35, +36. + +In all my trouble and sorrow of moving, and settling with the sisters, +there were many instances which I now look upon with much amusement. I +remember about the first thing that happened when I arrived at Mrs. +Morrison's home. She came to my room and asked me if I wanted "to eat +with the family or eat by myself or how I wanted to eat." There were +several men there, and I had never eaten with a man, except once when I +was with Mrs. Kearney in Spokane, since I left my home in 1881. I +thought for a moment and then I told Mrs. Morrison that I was not +accustomed to eating with men, but that I would try it. It was a very +peculiar feeling that came over me the first time I sat at the table +with them, but I soon became acquainted and felt very much at home. When +I would go to the dining-room, I would very often say, "Well, I used to +go to mass, now I go to mess." + +As the days and weeks passed by, I more and more realized that the great +hand of God was directing me in all my movements. Even though my short +experience out of the shadow of the convent cross had not been a +success, so to speak, yet it was preparing me for the days to follow. +God was very good to me, and my sentiments cannot be better expressed +than my repeating that wonderful twenty-third Psalm: "The Lord is my +shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; +He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul; He leadeth +me in the path of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk +through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for Thou +art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a +table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head +with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me +all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord +forever." + +I visited a great many Protestant ministers, asking them to explain +different parts of the Bible to me, and they all received me and +treated me very courteously. I started studying God's Word as revealed +by Christ in the New Testament, and the more I read and studied, the +more I became convinced that the religion I had been living all my life +was not the religion of a Christ "crucified, dead and buried" for the +salvation of poor, fallen mankind. + +The Scriptures are replete with teachings that conflict with the +teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, which are traditional and a +great many of them are taken from religions other than Christianity. + +"And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, +which is in heaven." Matt. 23:9. + +"We have one Father, even God." John 8:41. + +These, and many more verses of the like, show conclusively that it was +never intended that the priests of the church of Rome should be called +"father," for God is our spiritual Father, and the Good Book does not +lie. + +"Now the Spirit speaketh expressly that in the latter times some shall +depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of +devils; speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with +a hot iron; forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, +which God has created to be received with thanksgiving of them which +believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and +nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: for it is +sanctified by the word of God and prayer." 1st Timothy 4:1, 5. + +All my life I had lied in hypocrisy, not that I wanted to, but just what +the Roman Catholic system had made of me by their hypocritical +teachings, such as the "Johnny Morgan" story; and my conscience had been +seared many, many times with a hot iron. Who forbids to marry but the +Roman Catholic system? Who commands to abstain from eating meat but the +Roman Catholic system on Fridays, ember days and during Lent? + +The Protestant people that I came in contact with from time to time was +not the class of people that the Roman Catholic system had pictured to +me--they were refined, educated and, above all, charitable. I attended +Protestant churches, and heard sermons preached from the Word of God +according to Christ's teaching--with the man-made Latin mass missing. + +At last, I learned that I was to be saved by faith and not by penance. +"Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our +Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 5:1. I also learned that there was no +mediator between God and man, except Jesus Christ as I have explained +under the heading "Confession," and that if I would confess my sins to +Him, He would forgive me and help me. So I gave myself to His keeping, +and on Sunday, April 20, 1913, I was baptized into the Protestant +faith--which was the happiest day of all my life. + +The following Sunday I became a member of that church and have been a +Protestant, not in name only, but in reality, ever since. God keep me +strong in the faith. + +I continued doing nursing for a livelihood. Some of my doctor friends +gave me a few private cases, and I also was called on by some of the +Protestant people I had become acquainted with to wait on them in +sickness. + +Several times I was asked to take obstetric (maternity) cases, but had +to refuse them on account of the lack of training in this particular +line. I have stated before that we were kept in ignorance in regard to +this line of nursing at St. Vincent's Hospital. Finally, I decided that +I would take a special course in obstetrics, and I spent about six +months studying very hard. Now, remember, that I had spent eighteen +years at St. Vincent's besides two more years in hospital work and yet I +was not allowed to learn this very important branch of nursing, +regardless of the fact that I had the maternity ward on my floor all the +time I was superintendent, and was held responsible for any errors in +the nursing of these cases. + +Before very long the saying of "Father" Carti, "You will have trouble in +the world," became very vivid to me. The boycott was working well. I +remember one case I was called on, that of an old lady. She was very +sick and needed care night and day. She had one nurse, but she could not +work all the time. I worked only two days, when the other nurse, who was +a Roman Catholic, went to the lady and told her that she could get along +without me. This only came about after she learned that I had been a +sister in the Roman Catholic sisterhood. + +In this, and other cases, my qualifications as a nurse were not taken +into consideration. It was only the fact that I had once been a Roman +Catholic and sister, but was now a Protestant. Another incident of the +boycott that will be very clear to my readers is that a prominent +doctor, whose name is on my recommendation, told a nurse I was working +with that she could not get any more cases as long as Sister Lucretia +was working with her. + +In many of the states there has been agitation about a law protecting +ex-convicts from the boycott of the public, simply because he is an +ex-convict. Let us also have a law for the protection of ex-nuns against +the boycott of the Roman Catholic system and the public, simply because +she is an ex-nun. + +It became very apparent to me that I would have to do something besides +nursing. But what? I was no longer a young girl, and I had worked nearly +all my life to make of myself an efficient nurse, and I had succeeded +thus far. But, circumstances so shaped themselves that I could not +secure sufficient work to do to keep body and soul together. + +After a great deal of deliberation and much thoughtful prayer, I came to +the conclusion that as God had been with me and brought me out of +darkness and idolatry, I would dedicate my services to Him, in word of +mouth and pen, telling the story of my life as a Sister of Charity in +the Roman Catholic sisterhood. + +During July, 1915, I had the opportunity to spend a few days at the +annual Chautauqua being held at Gladstone, Oregon. There I met several +women with whom I had been acquainted in Portland. They knew of my past +life and asked me to tell of some of my past experiences to the members +of the Women's Christian Temperance Union. I had never had occasion to +stand before any number of people to talk to them, and I was very +reluctant about accepting the invitation. But it came to me that this +was the opportunity to obtain my first experience, and the few days I +stayed there I talked to them twice. + +After my return to Portland, and during the fall and winter, I told my +story to small crowds in the homes of some of the real Protestant women. +Then came 1916. I began to talk upon invitation in the churches, before +lodges and in homes. During the year I delivered my lectures one hundred +and fourteen times in and about Portland. In the summer, I had to +decline many invitations, as I was too busy to fill the engagements. + +This is how I began my lecturing, not that I ever intended to do so when +I left the sisterhood, but the Roman Catholic system drove me to it, and +now I am thankful that it did, for I can do more good telling my story +than I ever could by being a Sister of Charity in the Roman Catholic +sisterhood, or by being a nurse caring for the sick. I love to aid the +poor, suffering sick, but I feel that there are many nurses better than +I could ever be, even with my experience, but there are, indeed, very +few who live thirty-one years in the sisterhood of the Roman Catholic +Church, and live to leave it and tell their experiences. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + + MY "ADVERTISEMENT" IN THE CATHOLIC SENTINEL. + + +During the spring and early summer of 1916, an election campaign was on, +and the issue was very apparent. The patriotic citizens were determined +to elect American citizens to office who would uphold the American +principles. + +I was talking several times each week, and evidently something was +hurting, for the _Catholic Sentinel_, published in Portland, which is +the mouthpiece of Archbishop Christie, printed a fine "advertisement" +for me in its issue of June 8, 1916. There has been many comments on +some of my statements regarding the activities of the "Knights of +Columbus," and this article from their own paper will substantiate what +I have said: + + A. P. A.'S FEATURE "ESCAPED" NUN + + Former Sister of Charity Appears on Anti-Catholic Platform. + + BIGOTRY RUNS WILD + + Protestant Churches Are Placed at the Disposal of Miss + Schoffen. + + Portland is a hotbed of religious bigotry. While the rest of + the world is storming Heaven for peace, the "patriots" here are + doing everything in their power to stir up religious + dissension. To this end they are using Miss Elizabeth Schoffen, + a former nun. + + This unfortunate woman was for 31 years a member of the Sisters + of Charity of Providence. For 17 years she was a nursing sister + in St. Vincent's Hospital here. She left the order four years + ago as a protest against having been transferred from Portland + to Vancouver against her will. The order paid to her or her + representatives a considerable sum of money in recognition of + her services. + + Some months back she went on the lecture platform, billing + herself as an ex-nun. The public did not flock to hear her in + any great numbers. Her audiences consisted for the most part of + that undesirable element in this community who would revive + Know-Nothingism and to whom that which is vulgar and salacious + carries an appeal. + + Miss Schoffen, more widely known as "Sister Lucretia," is a + plain featured woman about 55. For the last few weeks she has + been delivering afternoon lectures "for women only." Several + Protestant ministers have extended to her the hospitality of + their churches. Among the churches in which she has spoken are + the First Methodist Church, the Woodlawn Christian Church, the + Sunnyside Methodist Church, the Brentwood Methodist Church and + the Sellwood Christian Church. She was billed to speak at the + White Temple (Baptist) last Tuesday afternoon to women only, + but the strong disapproval of the trustees of that church + resulted in the cancellation of her engagement. + + Miss Schoffen is a studious disseminator of malicious + inuendoes, suggestions and hints. She is careful to say nothing + that would render her liable to prosecution for criminal libel + or defamation of character. She has much to say on the divided + allegiances of Catholics, on the "military activity" of the + Knights of Columbus and on the deep, dark Roman dungeons. She + is no orator. Her discourse is full of inconsistencies and is + couched at times in the language of the gutter. She adduces no + evidence in support of her insinuations and declines to answer + questions during or after the "lecture." The stage is well set. + The proceedings generally open with a prayer! This is often + followed by the singing of "America," in which the audience + joins. Her manager then drapes the American flag over Miss + Schoffen's shoulder, saying as he does so: "This is to show + that during her lecture Miss Schoffen is under the protection + of the Stars and Stripes!" These words never fail to elicit + tremendous applause. + + ... Her lectures have become so obnoxious that the Knights of + Columbus have decided to take action and to that end have + appointed the following committee: J. W. Kelly, W. J. + Prendergast, Roger B. Sinnot, James Clarkson, J. N. Casey, D. + J. Malarkey, M. G. Munley, R. J. O'Neil, Joseph Jacobberger, H. + V. Stahl, John F. Daly. + +I do not care to take space here to comment on this article at length; +there is a great deal of truth in it and then there is a great deal that +is not true. I will say that the time spoken of when the White Temple +turned me down, there were about three thousand women that congregated +to hear my message, and I delivered it to them, but not in the White +Temple; I hired an automobile and we went to the Plaza, where I talked +from the machine. The above article speaks of the "strong disapproval of +the trustees of the church." It took them quite a long time to give out +the announcement, for the lecture had been advertised for two weeks. Any +American can guess why this building was closed at the eleventh hour. + +Of course, I am no orator. How could I be after spending my life in the +convents of the Roman Catholic system? And, if I talked in the language +of the gutter, where do you think I learned it? Surely it must have been +learned in the parochial school, the confessional or the convent. + +Four of the eleven Knights of Columbus appointed to take action against +me were prominent lawyers of Portland, and no doubt they worked overtime +trying to hatch up some scheme to get me before the bar of justice. If +they for one moment thought that I could not prove what I was saying +about the system I had lived so many years, why did they not call on me +to produce my proof? + +I have in my possession a letter from the wife of one of these noble +"knights," which, in part, reads as follows: "I was not surprised when I +heard that you had left the order. The last time I was up there I asked +for you and they told me you had been sent to Canada. I felt then it was +the beginning of the end. What led up to it all I do not know, but I +felt I must tell you that so far as we are concerned, our sympathies are +with you. I know such a thing could not have come to pass without your +having experienced much suffering and heartache. And I want to tell you +we are with you heart and soul. Of course, you know our attitude toward +them. We have felt for a long time they are lacking in charity. We could +not reconcile ourselves to their attitude towards the nurses. Mr. ---- +and Sister ---- had a passage at arms the last time he was up there. The +old order of things was good, but there seems to have crept in an +element which has the money-making. If you have time, I should like to +hear from you and something about the work you are doing. I know one +thing, that it is effective. We have never forgotten the service you +rendered Mr. ----, and I have always felt that you more than any other +contributed to his recovery." + +[Illustration: "_A Gift from God_"--_Five Years' Growth._ (Photographed +Jan. 29, 1917)] + +Yes, I did contribute to a great extent to this gentleman's recovery +when his two physicians and the special nurse had abandoned all hope. +And from this letter it was apparent that he was pleased to hear that I +had left the order. Then, why such a radical change in the mind of such +a highly educated man? Had some of the "holy fathers" been to see him +and demanded, and as a good "knight" he had to serve? Or, was his name +placed on the committee for show? The latter is more probable. + +I wish my readers to read the article very carefully and thoughtfully +and then draw your own conclusions. The fact remains that I was +lecturing and the effects were hurting somebody. These "somebodies" were +busy in nearly every town where I would be billed to speak, endeavoring, +with their threats of boycott and with their committees appointed to +wait on the city officials, to close halls, and to even keep me from +entering the city. What was evidently hurting them was the fact that I +was telling the truth to their own adherents, and in several of the +small cities where I spoke, some of them renounced the Roman Catholic +faith; others would take their children or some relative out of a Roman +Catholic orphanage or parochial school. "An institution that cannot +stand the light, needs to have the light turned on it," and that is just +what I was trying to do. + +It makes no particular difference whether I was drawing large crowds or +not (but I was drawing immense crowds), whether I was using language of +the gutter or not, whether I produced any evidence to prove my +contentions or not, whether the churches turned me down or not, I was +doing the work I had started out to do, viz., tell the public of the +treatment I had received while I was in the Roman Catholic convent and +the treatment I had received since I left the convent at the instigation +of the Roman Catholic system, and, thank God, I found the people eager +to listen to the truth. It seems that the truth is the very worst thing +that can be said about the Roman Catholic system. + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + + THE CARE OF OLD SISTERS BY THE ROMAN CATHOLIC SYSTEM. + + +I cannot close this book without devoting a few lines to the care of the +old sisters--those who have spent many years serving the Roman Catholic +Church--who have passed their years of usefulness, and then-- + +It would seem only natural and human, that any institution after having +received thirty, forty or more years of free service from a human being, +would at least see to it that the person would spend their last few +years of earthly existence in ease and comfort. Indeed, very few pass +their years of usefulness in the Roman Catholic sisterhood--a great many +dying in their twenties, and more in their thirties. And I might state +right here that tuberculosis is a very common disease to take the +sisters to a young grave. Probably forty to fifty per cent of the +sisters I knew that died during my sisterhood life was caused by +tuberculosis. Surely there must be some cause for this ravaging disease +among this people. It is the unnatural, secluded life the girls are +forced to live, together with the lack of proper care when they are +taken sick. + +That I might produce proof to substantiate what I say in regard to the +care of the old sisters, I wish to call to your particular attention +one dear, old lady I knew very well, and who suffered untold agonies +after giving the Roman Catholic Church forty years' service, according +to her own letters. I will print three of her letters written to a +friend (a Protestant) in Portland, when this dear, sainted old lady, +Sister Gabriel, was in Vancouver, Washington. + + Vancouver, Wash., Aug. 3d, 1901. + + My dear ....: + +These few lines are a secret for yourself. Will you please tell Mother +Theresa that I am not able for any more corrections. I have lost my +sleep and appetite altogether. I had no care since I came February 18th. +I was ordered back to Vancouver to sit in a room alone and suffer as I +had for six long years, since they discharged me from teaching. They +kept me in this work thirty-six years--four years were spent at +apothecary work in hospitals. I have been kept idle altogether for six +years. Now they seem pleased to see me loosing my memory. Dr. .... was +called to see me Monday. He seemed to sympathize with me for having +nothing to do. The medicine the sister gave me made me vomit and a +diarrhea that is killing me. He said he had no time to call and see me a +second time. + + (Signed) SR. GABRIEL. + + House of Providence, + Vancouver, Wash., Nov. 6th, 1901. + + My very dear friend: + +I send you these few lines by our dear Mother Provincial, who will try +to meet you, if not, to send you the note. I am suffering very much from +the rectal ailment ever since that seasickness in September. The +protrusion is much larger. The inside is getting sore, and a slight +hemorrage of slime and blood keeps me busy. I do not know what to do +any longer, there is no one here who understands anything about this +complaint. I use glycerine suppositories and sweet oil, etc.... Please +write a prescription if you cannot come to see me, and tell Rev. Mother +what kind of a tube to get. I feel pretty well, only a dizziness now and +then. + + Your grateful friend, + SISTER GABRIEL. + + House of Providence. + Vancouver, Wash., Feb. 4, 1902. + + The dearest of my friends: + +I should have written to wish you the many blessings of the new year ere +this, but I was not in the writing mood. I hope you enjoy good health as +a reward from the great God, and may He prolong your life many +years--serving the poor sick. + +"I would give the world to see you," but as that is impossible for a few +weeks longer, I will try to continue the prescription you gave me when +you kindly came here to see me November 12th. I prefer to do all the +dressing myself as long as I am able, but sometimes I cry out for relief +in pain. No one knows what a painful, tedious disease it is, and only +those who have suffered themselves can appreciate a relief. + +I fear the interior lining will become ulcerated, owing to constipation +for several days. Then I take purgatives, Sedlitz powders, clover-root +tea or soda phosphate, which causes a diarrhea that cannot be stopped +for so long, causing sleeplessness, weakness and trembling. Will you +please tell me what would be a good laxative to prevent all this +trouble? Exterior applications have but very little effect. ... Do you +think that I will ever get better? Every one tries his best to be +relieved from pain. I am pretty old now, "sixty-six years," hoping at +least not to become worse. + +I dread more the affliction of becoming insane than any other ailment. +Every little thing contrary to my way of thinking disturbs my mind and +keeps me thinking for hours. I thank God I have a taste for reading and +will walk outside when the weather gets warm. I will expect a few lines +as soon as convenient. You told me to let you know after a few weeks how +I am, so then you will excuse me for intruding on your precious time. + +Excuse my quill and old shaking hand. + + Your most grateful, + + (Signed) SISTER GABRIEL. + +Just before these letters were written, Sister Gabriel was at St. +Vincent's Hospital for a short time. One day as I was passing the +bathroom, I heard moans and cries for assistance, and as I entered the +bathroom I found her lying in the bathtub, overcome from her sickness +and unable to help herself. I assisted her to her room and nursed her +the best I could, as I had no permission from my superior to wait on +her. Many times I would talk to her, as she was far more intelligent +than the average sister. As soon as Mother Theresa learned that I was +taking care of this sister, and talking to her, she forbade me to do so +any further, and ordered me to look for the letters she (Sister Gabriel) +was sending out. Sister Gabriel remained at Vancouver until about 1905, +and then she was ordered to the Mother House at Montreal to sit alone +the remaining few years of her life. I know she did not want to make +this move, but she was forced to do so, as she was getting to be a +drudge to the community here. Sister Gabriel had been a missionary to +this part of the country, and she told me many times that she did not +wish to go to Canada, but wanted to stay in this country among +English-speaking sisters to spend her old age. But it was never so with +a sister--it is not what they desire or wish for in their old age, it is +the desires of the Roman Catholic system, which has them bound, tied and +gagged by the vow of obedience. + +Treatment such as this was coming to me. I had served them faithfully +for thirty-one years and my health was beginning to break under the +pressure of wrongs and the unnatural conditions. When a sister gets in +this condition, they move her from mission to mission and very often +send reports ahead of her, that she is irreligious and has a "bad" +spirit, causing the other sisters to treat her with suspicion and +contempt. This is done until her heart is broken, and the final result +is a general break-down in health. Then she can go and sit alone in some +secluded place for the remaining few years of life. The strongest mind +and body would break under the strain and worry and sorrow of such +treatment as the Roman Catholic system gives their old sisters. Had I +remained with them, no doubt now, five years later, I would be a +physical and nervous wreck. + +I will quote from another letter written by another sister to me shortly +after my transfer to Cranbrook: + +"... When one has passed the three score mark the situation is, to say +the least, not pleasant. I can only say, 'Courage, dear Sister Lucretia, +a few more struggles and Heaven will be ours.' The above quotation was a +friend's loving message to our dear saintly Sister Mary Precious Blood +but three weeks before her death. She was ill but one week, mental +anguish filled many of her days and shortened her beautiful religious +life. Sad, but true, that a fearful retribution follows every injustice. +'Revenge to me,' said the Lord.... I know too well what it means to be +in your plight, to even hope you are not lonely. Time alone can dull the +keenest of that sword's edge. Let your many, many kind deeds comfort +you. Those in favor of my poor self when cast on St. Vincent's charity, +as well as those to my deceased Sister John, whose loving appreciation +was with you to the end, will never be forgotten. Strange how few such +souls we meet in this vast world...." + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + + CONCLUSION. + + +My sister, Sister Cassilda, and myself corresponded with each other +considerably after I left the sisterhood, and I received many letters +from her that are exemplary of the Roman Catholic teaching. I would like +to quote from one of these letters here: + + Cranbrook, B. C., June 24th, 1915. + + My very dear Sister: + +Your two kind letters, May 24th, No. 13, and the other June 16th, No. +14, have both been received with the greatest pleasure. It is always a +pleasure for me to hear from you and to know that you are well and +getting on so nicely. It does seem negligent, dear Sister, for me to +have delayed so long in writing, and I beg your pardon for the sorrow I +have caused you. It was no ones fault, you see I have been changed from +New Westminster back to St. Eugene Mission. I always intended to write +as soon as I got settled, time passed so quickly, hence the cause of my +delay. I am very well and as happy as any one can be in this world.... + +.... I would no more let anyone say anything against the religion I have +practiced all my life, which was taught me by my own dear parents and +which I love dearly. I would rather die than go and put my parents and +people below those Bible preachers; they better practice what is in the +Bible instead of talking about their neighbors. My love for you, my dear +sister, is the same as it ever was, nothing can ever change that, but it +grieves me to think that you have turned against our dear religion what +you and I were taught together in our infancy. I surely would not +compare Bible reading with that. I pray the Lord to give me strength to +be faithful to it all my life and not to be deceived by false prophets. +I have seen enough of the world to know which is right. Unfortunately +there are many Catholics that are not what they should be; they will be +responsible for themselves; that does not change religion any. + +Now a little news about my mission. It is about the same, only we have a +grand, new _cement house_, with all the comforts possible, and the +government will build us new barns and stables, and renew all the +fences, so it will be a swell place after that.... Hope to hear from you +soon again, love and good wishes for yourself and your friends. + + Your loving sister, + SISTER CASSILDA. + +This letter shows how the sisters are duped about the Protestant +ministers and the preaching from the Bible. It also shows how strong +they are held in the faith of the Roman Catholic church. At the end of +the letter you will notice that the government was building, or helping +to build, the new institution at Cranbrook. + +The Roman Catholic Church, from time to time, has broken away from the +teaching of the Bible, and instituted practices, man-made and +traditional. The adherent of the Roman Catholic Church accepts these +teachings and practices because he believes, as I did for so many +years, that the word of the Pope is God's word, and whatever is dictated +to the subject through the pope, or his ecclesiastical representatives, +must be obeyed. The reason he believes this, is that he is not allowed +to read and study the Word of God. When the priest talks _about_ the +Bible, that is sufficient for the laity. In all my years of sisterhood +life, I never studied the Bible, and when I say "I," I wish it +understood that I was no exception. + +Surely if Christ intended that all these practices, and institutions of +graft, should be necessary for the salvation of mankind, He would have +practiced some of them while He was here. + +Since the combining of paganism and Christianity, forming the Roman +Catholic Church, here are some of the man-made practices and the time +instituted: + + A. D. + Invocation of saints 375 + The Latin service 600 + Supremacy of the pope 606 + Worships of images and relics 787 + Transubstantiation 1000 + Infallibility of the Church of Rome 1076 + The sacrifice of the Mass 1100 + Sale of indulgences 1190 + Withholding the cup from the laity 1415 + Purgatory 1439 + Restriction of the Bible 1546 + Seven Sacraments 1547 + Worship of the Virgin Mary 1563 + The creed of the pope added 1564 + The immaculate conception of Mary 1854 + The infallibility of the pope 1870 + +I copy this table from ex-Priest P. A. Seguin's book, "Out of Hell and +Purgatory," and he asks, "How old is this popish combination?" And well +might he ask it. If the popes and cardinals continue to add to the creed +of the Roman Catholic Church in the next few centuries as they have in +the past, God help the poor people who continue in that faith, for they +must believe each and every one of the practices and innovations. + +Why the pope, purgatory, seven sacraments necessary for salvation, +worship of the Virgin Mary, the immaculate conception of Mary, worship +of images and statues, sale of indulgences, etc.? Yes, there may be +Christianity in the Roman Catholic teachings and practices, but if you +wish to find it you must search for it. + +If the Christianity existed in the Roman Catholic Church that should be +there, why is there so much rottenness connected with it? Whenever there +is any scandal (this is a great Roman Catholic word) in the Protestant +churches, is it hidden and tried to be kept down? Verily, no! It is +sifted through, and the cause of the wrong is found and righted. But +Archbishop Christie knew there were wrongs being perpetrated right here +in Portland, and he knew I knew it, but not once did he endeavor to +right these wrongs. + +Read this letter he wrote me soon after I left the sisterhood. In +explaining this letter, I will say that the letter he speaks of from +Mother Wilfrid was sent to him by me at the time I sent my letters for +redress, and it was of such a nature that I do not understand how he +could have forgotten it so easily; but, doubtless, he wished to keep it +rather than to know that I had it. + + Portland, Oregon, May 16, 1912. + + Dear Sister: + +I cannot remember having received a letter from Mother Wilfrid. You must +have sent it to some other person and not to me. + +I hope and pray you will do nothing what will cause any scandal. + +Asking God to bless and direct you, I am sincerely in Xto + + X A. CHRISTIE. + +If the Roman Catholic system would clean up from within, there would be +no need for the ecclesiastical authorities to "hope and pray" that any +of the sisters who left any of their institutions "would tell anything +that would cause any scandal." + +It was ever so, dear reader, and it will always be. The same rottenness +will always exist in the Church of Rome that has always existed. It was +because of this rottenness and corruption that practically all of the +ex-priests have left Romanism, and because of the wrongs perpetrated +that practically all of the ex-nuns have left. + + * * * * * + +The conditions I have written about, as I have lived them, not only +exist in the convents of the Pacific Northwest, but in other Roman +Catholic convents and monasteries, as the teachings and practices here +come from other convents and of necessity they must be the same. "Like +father, like son." There may be a few exceptions, where there is convent +inspection, or some other law governing them, but as a general thing +they are as I have explained, and in a great many, the practices are +rigorous to the extreme. + +So, the great question arises, "How are we going to better conditions?" +I could answer this question in a few words, and it would be the most +logical answer, "Abolish all the convents and monasteries." Institutions +of darkness and ignorance and evil are surely not necessary for the +salvation of the souls of the women of this country, or of any other +country. Christ did not institute any such specifications when He was on +earth, or did He leave them in written form in His Holy Word. The +secluding of girls and women is a man-made institution, and not for the +saving of the souls of the poor girls, but for the profit of their work +to the church. Is this Christianity? + +How long will the American people be blind to this "religious cloak" for +graft--school graft, hospital graft, laundry graft, and various other +sweat-shop grafts? It is very convenient for the owners of the +profitable "religious" institutions to operate them with sister service +without paying either the wages or taxes required by the owners of +legitimate industries. Think how it must affect competition and the +wages of free workers. + +Slavery of any degree is a curse to society as well as to the enslaved. +I beg every American to look into this question seriously before it is +too late. If you continue your sleepy indifference you may some day wake +up to find that you have over-slept, to find that your own flesh and +blood are being tricked and exploited into these "holy" institutions. + +Under no condition should any institution, private or public, be +permitted to immure girls and young women and keep them in servitude, +hidden from their parents and friends and denied the common justice due +every citizen. The laws of this country are made "by the people and for +the people," and therefore, it is for the people of every state to see +that there is a law on the statute books calling for the inspection of +every institution where girls and women are incarcerated; the doors +opened, that the truth may be obtained from every inmate and redress +granted to all without intimidation. + +As the convent system is now in vogue there is no redress, as I have +shown you, nor is there any protection from the convent crimes, as they +are absolutely under the government of the Roman Catholic hierarchy. +From behind the convent walls the heartbroken cries of the victims +cannot be heard by the deceived world, and therefore, there is no appeal +for justice. + +Open the doors of every convent and monastery and let the deluded +victims return to the world and live useful lives if they so choose! Let +them be free to come and go at will, like any other citizen, and grant +them the liberty guaranteed by the Constitution to all within our +borders. + +For the nuns who desire to leave the convent system, there should be in +every state a home where they can work out their own salvation, until +such a time as they are prepared to make their own living. Such a home +should be supervised in a manner to guarantee that the inmates will not +be intimidated by the priests or other representatives of Rome. Convent +work is all routine, and from the very day a girl enters she becomes as +a spoke in a wheel; her thoughts, judgment and body become an +incorporate part of the written rule and customary observances of the +system. From long seclusion, peculiar dress, separation from people and +all civil society, she becomes estranged to the habits and customs of +the world. On account of these conditions, the sisters feel very +sensitive and it makes them timid and shrink in embarrassment. If it was +not for these difficulties and barriers, and perhaps humiliations, there +are hundreds of sisters who would leave the convent system. Many of +them stay, not because they desire to do so, but because they do not +know where to go or what to do if they leave. I myself would have left +many years before, had I known where to have gone or what to have done. + +Another thing every American citizen should work for and see to, is that +no sectarian school or institution of any nature shall receive financial +aid from the State. We are blessed with one of the greatest and best +public school systems in the world, and if they are not good enough for +the people to send their children to, then this is no country for such a +person. The taxpayer has enough to do without keeping up a school system +for the purpose of teaching "Hail! Mary!" or the Roman Catholic +catechism. Nor do we want sisters of the Roman Catholic sisterhood +teaching in our public school, attired in their religious garb. These +sisters have taken the vow of poverty, and yet draw their monthly salary +from the State school fund. Who do you suppose gets this money? Surely +not the poor sister! It of necessity goes to the church. In one county +of this state of Oregon we have seven sisters of the sisterhood of the +Roman Catholic church teaching in our public schools, attired in their +religious garbs. This information comes direct from the county school +superintendent's office. + +Take away the parochial schools and the Roman Catholic system could not +long survive in this country, and, as I have stated in the beginning of +this book, the Roman Catholic system would not even have the parochial +schools if it were not for our public schools. They must have some means +of combating with the popular public education, and to do so institute +the parochial schools and demand of the good members of their parishes +to send their children to them. + +So, it behooves us to have a law compelling every child between certain +ages to attend the _public_ school and to refuse further aid to +sectarian schools. + +Theodore Roosevelt in his "American Ideals" says: + +"... We stand unalterably in favor of the public-school system in its +entirety. We believe that English, and no other language, is that in +which all the school exercises should be conducted. We are against any +division of the school fund, and against any appropriation of public +money for sectarian purposes. We are against any recognition whatever by +the state in any shape or form of state-aided parochial schools." + +Jeremiah J. Crowley says in his book, "The Parochial School, A Curse to +the Church, A Menace to the Nation": + +"The Catholic parochial school in the United States is not founded on +loyalty to the Republic, and the ecclesiastics who control it would +throttle, if they could, the liberties of the American people. + +"It is my profound conviction that the masses of the Catholic people +prefer the public schools, and that they send their children to the +parochial schools to avoid eternal punishment, as their pastors preach +from the pulpit, 'Catholic parents who send their children to the +godless public schools are going straight to hell.'" + +Again Mr. Crowley says: + +"Catholic public school opponents declare that at least one-third of the +American people favor their position. I deny it. I am morally certain +that not five per cent of the Catholic men of America endorse at heart +the parochial school. They may send their children to the parochial +schools to keep peace in the family and to avoid an open rupture with +the parish rector; they may be induced to pass resolutions of approval +of the parochial school in their lodges and conventions; but if it ever +becomes a matter of blood, not one per cent of them will be found +outside of the ranks of the defenders of the American public schools. + +"If a perfectly free ballot could be cast by the Catholic men of America +for the perpetuity or suppression of the parochial school, it would be +suppressed by an astounding majority." + +The above quotations were written by Mr. Crowley while he was yet a +priest in the church of Rome, and he evidently knew whereof he spoke. I +will comment no further, as these remarks speak for themselves and very +plainly. + +Before I close, I wish to warn every Protestant parent about sending +their children to Roman Catholic institutions for some special training +which they claim to be superior in, and at the same time raise them to +be Protestants. The instructors in these institutions will promise that +they will use no influence to change the child's religious belief, but +the sisters are bound by rule to convert every person to the Roman +Catholic faith with whom she comes in contact, if she possibly can. If +influence and coercion are not used, the environment is there just the +same. Many times since I have left the sisterhood, mothers have come to +me in tears and grief and asked me to help them keep their daughters +from joining the Roman Catholic church or sisterhood. They would tell me +that when they had placed their children in these institutions, the +sisters had told them that no influence would be used to change their +religious faith. Maybe not, but if such a person does not accede to the +demands of those in charge and go to mass and say the prayers of a Roman +Catholic, conditions are made very disagreeable for them and they soon +learn that it is best for them to go through the performance, even +though they do not believe it. Then, as time goes on, these practices +become imbedded in their hearts and minds, until at last they become +hypnotized, so to speak, by the superstitious teaching and practices of +the Roman Catholic religion. + +In this small volume I have told of the practices and teachings of the +Roman Catholic church and convent as I have lived them. I am sometimes +asked if I can prove this or that. If any of you, dear readers, will +live these things as I have lived them they will be realistic enough to +you. God's Word says, "Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make +you free." + +I may have written with prejudice, and I ask God to prejudice me against +_all_ wrong that I may live to do His work and glorify Him. He knows +that I hold no ill-feeling against _any_ Roman Catholic +individual--laity, sister, priest or archbishop. But the system they +represent--the system that I have served so faithfully for so many +years--I have no sympathy for. Whatever a sister, priest or archbishop +may be, the system has made them. I only hope and pray that they will +all see the light and come out of their superstition and live the +religious life they entered the Roman Catholic church to live. God's +Word says, "Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her +sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues." + +In the last lines of this book, I wish to plead with each and every +American to stand for the right, and do not be afraid to show your +colors. Stand for the true American principles; stand by that Wonder of +Wonders, the Menace--which has been a Martin Luther in print; and above +all, _stand together_. Unite--for without union there is no strength. +Follow the Roman Catholic system in this respect. And when the patriotic +men and women do unite on one common ground and for the one cause--love +of God, freedom and country--there need be no fear of a second St. +Bartholemew's Day; there need be no fear of a repetition of the terrible +Inquisition of Spain; there need be no fear of internal strife as poor, +blood-drenched Mexico is experiencing today. + +All I ask is for you to think on the few thoughts I have endeavored to +give you in plain words, and to take the warning as coming from one who +lived for thirty-one years. + +"THE DEMANDS OF ROME" + + Yes, a church without a Bible + Is like a ship without a sail, + Trying to withstand the tempest + In some fearful, howling gale; + Yes, a church without a Bible + Is like a general in the fight, + Who is trying empty-handed + To put enemies to flight. + + It will surely be defeated; + Foes without and foes within + Drag it onward, downward, plunging + In a deep abyss of sin. + In the Bible is many a remedy; + If 'twas hidden in its heart, + It from pagan rules and customs + Would forevermore depart. + + + + +APPENDIX. + + +I hesitate to add this appendix, for I have copied a great many +documents and letters in the preceding chapters. But this case, which I +will present to you, will be additional proof that the same wrongs which +I tried to right, existed years before and that there was no redress. + +Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart presented her complaint to her local +superiors, but was utterly ignored. She next addressed herself to +Archbishop Paul Bruchasie of Montreal, who was her ecclesiastical +superior. Archbishop Bruchasie answered her, saying that it was none of +her affairs to be busying herself about these matters and that it would +be better for her if she would say her prayers, be an humble and +obedient religious. That looking after the affairs of the community was +her superior's business and that God would punish her for her +presumption and pride. + +She then addressed herself to the Roman Apostolic Delegate at +Washington, D. C., the following being a copy of her statement in behalf +of the sisters of this country: + +I, Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart, a member of the Order of the +Daughters of Charity, Servants of the Poor, most respectfully submit the +following articles to the proper Ecclesiastical Authorities--Subject of +Complaint, involving a right to demand justice by the members of the +Order who are not French or French Canadian. All members of the Order +who are not French or French Canadian are slaves. To prove the above +assertion, I will state facts as follows: + +1. All the higher officers of the Order such as Superior General, +Councillors General, Provincial Superior and Councillors, have always, +with the exception of one German Provincial, been French Canadian +Sisters. + +2. When rights have been called for, only one provincial councillor was +given in the province, which is manifestly of little practical utility, +she being one among five, four of which being Canadian. + +At the last general chapter, one assistant general was elected, and this +only through the interposition of the Archbishop of Montreal. As she was +the one who had filled the office of provincial councillor in the +province of the Sacred Heart, her place in that council was left vacant, +and it was immediately filled by a Canadian sister. + +3. The opening clause of No. 200 of our constitution, and all sense of +justice, are flagrantly and officially violated, not only in the ways +above mentioned, but we are not even permitted to have a sufficient +number of representatives in the general chapter, no, nor even one. And +thus superiors are thrust upon us without our consent--and laws of which +we had no voice in the making. + +No. 200 of our constitution reads thus: "The spirit of nationality must +be banished as the most dangerous enemy of an institution created to +serve the church in all countries of the earth, without distinction of +people or language, etc." + +4. When it was known by the Superior General and her council that +complaints had been made to Ecclesiastical Superiors, a member and +representative of the General Council was sent to the Western provinces, +and she used her utmost endeavors in our provincial house to make the +sisters afraid to address complaints to the ecclesiastical superiors. + +5. Novices of all other nationalities are received into all the +novitiates, who, of course, do not realize until after the last vows, +that they are to be treated as subordinates in the order. Thus we occupy +a position inferior to that of the coadjutrix sister, for they are +admitted only on condition of being subject to the vocal nuns, and +consent to this condition and therefore are not slaves. + +6. Is it not a public insult to the sisters of this country, that only +French sisters are constantly kept in offices which have relation with +seculars? And this enhanced by the fact that French sisters are, as a +rule, not suitable to govern an English-speaking province, as they +neither understand the ways of the people nor even of the sisters not +French, nor conduct matters in a manner to do them good, not to speak of +their imperfect knowledge of the language, and that sisters of a rude +and inferior character are often placed in relation with outsiders. + +7. Sisters who are not French have been treated with the least +consideration, either as to their health (and this even sometimes to the +extreme), or to their human feelings. And the schools, which are of +necessity taught by English-speaking sisters, have been much neglected +by the Canadian superiors as to equipment. + +The only reason for this injustice that could be alleged is that there +are no English-speaking sisters competent to fill the offices. But this +would be false and absurd, for from the time of our Foundresses, there +have always been some of these who were able to fill high offices and +conduct the business of the order, and at present I could mention many +who are able for anything that might be asked for them. + +As for the spirit of the Order, is it not possessed far more fully by +those who have patiently and faithfully toiled during long years under +an unjust administration, rather than those who officially and +persistently carry on matters in a spirit of nationality? + +Therefore, in the name of justice, in the name of all of our professed +sisters who are afraid to complain to Ecclesiastical Superiors, in the +name of those who are too young to realize the position thrust upon +them, in the name of future members of the Order, and in my name, I most +respectfully ask and demand of the proper Ecclesiastical Authority to +arrange these matters in the spirit of religion and justice. + +As a simple command given in writing or by word of mouth, or even +inserted in the Customary would have no other than temporary effect, I +shall consider my petition granted only when there will be inserted in +the constitution an explicit and emphatic rule that will give us our own +rights and forever prohibit all such injustice and tyranny. + +It seems to me that in all conscience it has been borne too long and +that after fifty years of endurance we should have our rights as soon as +possible. + +I feel confident that the wise and holy rulers of the Church will as +soon as possible act in accordance with these principles. + +Reverently, and with profound respect, I sign myself an humble and +obedient child of the Church + + SISTER PAUL OF THE SACRED HEART. + +As soon as it was reported at the various houses of the order that +Sister Paul was endeavoring to obtain the enactment of rules for the +equal recognition of all sisters, the local superior of one of these +houses wrote a letter containing a petition to the Mother House, asking +them not to recognize the appeal of Sister Paul for justice. This +letter and petition was sent from house to house, obtaining all the +signatures possible. Several sisters told me that they were requested to +sign the petition without being allowed to read the contents. + +The following is a copy of the letter and petition written by Sister M. +Alexander: + + Providence Hospital, Everett, Wash., January 9, 1905. + + My very dear Sister: + + You are no doubt aware that for some time past our poor, + misguided Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart has been trying to + create disunion and dissatisfaction in the Community, + particularly among those who are not French or of Canadian + birth. She has gone so far as to write to the higher + ecclesiastical authority to obtain redress for fancied wrongs + which have no existence save in her disordered imagination. + + She has used our names without our knowledge or consent to give + color and strength to her assertions. Therefore in justice to + ourselves, personally and collectively, it is high time for us + to act in a way so dignified, vigorous and religious that our + loyalty and unswerving fidelity to our beloved community may + never be questioned; and that this testimonial of our devotion + to the government, customs and usages of the order to which we + have the happiness of belonging, may be placed on the record in + the archives of the Mother House and of the Provincial House as + an undeniable proof that we forever abhor any act or word or + deed contrary to the spirit of our cherished Mother House or + its past or present or future government. Therefore, let each + American Sister (Member) sign the accompanying document, act of + submission, freely and willingly according to the dictates of + her conscience. Let the document be transmitted in regular + order to all the houses of the Province and then forwarded to + our worthy Mother Provincial that she may have the satisfaction + of conveying to our esteemed Mother General this undying proof + of our filial devotion and everlasting attachment. + + _Document_--We, the undersigned, do hereby certify that the + action of Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart against the + Community, and that her assertions that the constitutions are + officially violated in the absence of American members from the + general and provincial councils is condemned by us. We denounce + any act by which she threatens division on the ground of + nationality. We declare our refusal to take part in any act + against the government of the community. We further pledge + allegiance and loyalty to our community and superiors in office + and recognize their authority as eminating from God. + + SISTER M. ALEXANDER. + +Answer of Sister Paul to the document circulated by Sister M. Alexander: + + I, Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart, positively declare that I + never tried to create disunion in the community, nor have I + ever either taken any action against the community or + endeavored to incite any other Sister to do so. Neither have I + advocated division or rebellion, but have spoken against both + these. Nor have I sent the names of the sisters to higher + ecclesiastical superiors. + + All that I have done towards ameliorating existing conditions + is the following: I have written to higher ecclesiastical + authorities and spoken to them, as I have a perfect right to do + and shall do so again if I feel such to be my duty. + + I also advised other sisters to address ecclesiastical + superiors concerning what other sisters of sound mind, as well + as myself, considered to be an injustice. These matters are + public, and we have a right to speak of them. + + Furthermore, I have spoken only to sisters who have spent some + years in the Order; while the slandering paper dated Everett, + January 9, 1905, which was sent to the American sisters of this + province for them to sign, was given into the hands of very + young sisters. + + I declare that paper to be a libel against my character, as is + easily perceived on reading it together with what I have + written above. + + I therefore demand, in justice to myself, that a copy of this + present writing be pasted below the writing of each of the two + copies of the paper circulated for the American sisters of the + Province to sign, which are kept respectively in the archives + of the Mother House in Montreal and in those of the Provincial + House in Vancouver. + + I also declare, that until my reputation shall be fully cleared + from the false accusations contained in that paper, I shall + consider myself as living under the unjust action or sanction + of the responsible superiors. + + House of Providence, + Vancouver, Wash., Dec. 14th, 1906. + +The result: Sister Alexander was made superior and was elevated to the +very best houses of the order, among them St. Vincent's Hospital, +Portland, Oregon. This is the same Sister Alexander who was superior +when I was taken out of St. Vincent's. + +Sister Paul was sent to the Mother House in Montreal, Canada, to while +away her time translating French into English. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Demands of Rome, by Elizabeth Schoffen + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DEMANDS OF ROME *** + +***** This file should be named 37104.txt or 37104.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/1/0/37104/ + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Michael and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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