diff options
Diffstat (limited to '37104-h/37104-h.htm')
| -rw-r--r-- | 37104-h/37104-h.htm | 7551 |
1 files changed, 7551 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/37104-h/37104-h.htm b/37104-h/37104-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9de76ab --- /dev/null +++ b/37104-h/37104-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,7551 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<!-- $Id: header.txt 236 2009-12-07 18:57:00Z vlsimpson $ --> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Demands of Rome, by Elizabeth Schoffen. + </title> + <style type="text/css"> + +body { + margin-left: 10%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { + text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ + clear: both; +} + +p { + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; +} + +hr { + width: 33%; + margin-top: 2em; + margin-bottom: 2em; + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; + clear: both; +} + +table { + margin-left: auto; + margin-right: auto; +} + +.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ + /* visibility: hidden; */ + position: absolute; + left: 92%; + font-size: smaller; + text-align: right; +} /* page numbers */ + +blockquote { + margin-left: 5%; + margin-right: 10%; +} + +.center {text-align: center;} + +.right {text-align: right;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + +.caption {font-weight: bold; text-align: center;} + +/* Images */ +.figcenter { + margin: auto; + text-align: center; +} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Demands of Rome, by Elizabeth Schoffen + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Demands of Rome + Her Own Story of Thirty-One Years as a Sister of Charity + in the Order of the Sisters of Charity of Providence of + the Roman Catholic Church + +Author: Elizabeth Schoffen + +Release Date: August 16, 2011 [EBook #37104] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DEMANDS OF ROME *** + + + + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Michael and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="700" height="572" alt="Cover" title="" /> +<p class="caption">Cover</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span></p> +<h1>THE DEMANDS OF ROME</h1> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p><div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_003.png" width="373" height="600" alt="Elizabeth Schoffen as Sister Lucretia" title="" /> +<p class="caption">Elizabeth Schoffen as Sister Lucretia</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span></p><div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_004.png" width="583" height="936" alt="Elizabeth Schoffen, Lecturer and Author" title="" /> +<p class="caption">Elizabeth Schoffen, Lecturer and Author</p> +</div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>DEDICATION</h2> + +<p class="center">In the name of all that is good, kind and +Christian, I humbly dedicate this book to +those two dauntless Americans, my friends +and benefactors, Mr. and Mrs. E. U. Morrison. +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p> + +<h1>"The Demands of Rome"</h1> + +<p class="center">—By—</p> + +<h2>ELIZABETH SCHOFFEN +(SISTER LUCRETIA)</h2> + + +<p class="center">Second Edition</p> + + +<h2><i>Her Own Story of Thirty-One Years as a</i></h2> +<h2><i>Sister of Charity in the Order of the</i></h2> +<h2><i>Sisters of Charity of Providence of</i></h2> +<h2><i>the Roman Catholic Church</i></h2> + +<p class="center">PUBLISHED BY THE AUTHOR, PORTLAND, OREGON</p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span></p> +<p class="center">Copyright, 1917,</p> +<p class="center">by</p> +<p class="center">ELIZABETH SCHOFFEN</p> + +<p class="center">(All rights reserved)</p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p> + + + + +<h2>PREFACE.</h2> + + +<p>After many entreaties and a sincere vow, it is now "mine to tell the +story" of "<span class="smcap">The Demands of Rome</span>" as I have lived them during my long life +and faithful service in the Roman Catholic Church and sisterhood. I +would sound this story in the ear of everyone who has the interest of +the oppressed at heart—in the ear of everyone who has the interest +of disseminating knowledge, the light and power of which would be a +great help to the freeing of the captive from religious bondage. For as +I view it now, religious bondage is the most direful of all.</p> + +<p>In a few words, "<span class="smcap">The Demands of Rome</span>" from the +individual are from the "cradle to the grave," and they do +not stop there, he is followed through "purgatory" and into +eternity. In the commercial world, you must listen to "<span class="smcap">The +Demands of Rome</span>" or the Roman Catholic trade goes elsewhere, +and the anathema of the church is invoked upon you.</p> + +<p>The church of Rome <i>demands</i> property, and when they have it, <i>demand</i> +that they be not taxed for that privilege; they <i>demand</i> wealth, never +being satisfied, but forever <i>demanding</i>; they <i>demand</i> the suppression +of liberty; they <i>demand</i> life; they <i>demand</i> death.</p> + +<p>Now, as a sister in the church of Rome, it is <i>demand</i> from the very day +she enters the convent, as I have explained throughout this book. The +first <i>demand</i> is the hair of the victim. The Word of God says, "If a +woman have long hair, it is a glory to her," but what does the church of +Rome care what the Bible says? It is the <i>demand</i> from the church, and +blind obedience of the subject to that <i>demand</i><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> that Rome cares +about. It is their endless <i>demands</i> for supremacy of heaven, earth and +hell.</p> + +<p>We have all heard of the dumb animal which would run +back to his stall in case of fire; nevertheless, we must take +an interest in the faithful old horse and use every effort to +save his life from the horrible death that he would rush to.</p> + +<p>How much more must we take an interest in the lives of the poor, +oppressed humans, the over-burdened, entrapped nuns behind the convent +walls, though she may imagine that she is enjoying the greatest freedom +and the happiest life. Yes, we must all look well to the doors that +stand between Liberty and bondage, even though those doors seem bright +with "religious" paint.</p> + +<p>Let me say with the poet, that I cannot hope to "live but a few more +days, or years, at most," and my one aim is to give to the world a book +that will stand the crucial time of the changing years—a book that +shall be known and read long after the author is forgotten. I write it +with a fond hope that it may be helpful to "those who have a zeal for +God, but not according to knowledge," those who may be floundering in +the meshes of a crooked and perversed theology. I want no other +monument.</p> + +<p> +ELIZABETH SCHOFFEN.<br /> +<br /> +February, 1917.<br /> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span></p> + + + + +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> +<div class="center"> +<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="CONTENTS"> +<tr><td align="left">Chapter.</td><td></td><td align="left">Page</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">I.</td><td align="left">Introductory</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_11">11</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">II.</td><td align="left">My Early Life and Schooling</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_17">17</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">III.</td><td align="left">My Novitiate Life</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_23">23</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">IV.</td><td align="left">A Virgin Spouse of Christ—My First Mission</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_37">37</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">V.</td><td align="left">My Begging Expedition—St. Vincent's Hospital—Routine of a Sister</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_47">47</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">VI.</td><td align="left">How I Educated Myself—I Become Superintendent of the Third Floor at St. Vincent's</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_61">61</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">VII.</td><td align="left">Sacrament of Penance—Mass and Communion—Extreme Unction—Indulgences—Annual Retreat</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_72">72</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">VIII.</td><td align="left">My Trip to the General Mother House</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_85">85</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">IX.</td><td align="left">I Receive My Diploma for Nursing from St. Vincent's Hospital—Trouble Among the Sisters</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_103">103</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">X.</td><td align="left">My Removal from St. Vincent's Hospital</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_122">122</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">XI.</td><td align="left">Two Interesting Letters from Sisters—My Letters for Redress to Archbishop Christie</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_130">130</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">XII.</td><td align="left">My Emancipation</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_144">144</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">XIII.</td><td align="left">I Quit the Roman Catholic Church</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_155">155</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">XIV.</td><td align="left">Form for Dispensation of the "Holy" Vows—My Suit and Settlement With the Sisters of Charity</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_165">165</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">XV.</td><td align="left">My Recommendation from the Doctors of Portland—The Good Samaritan—I Affiliate With a Protestant Church—My New Work</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_181">181</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">XVI.</td><td align="left">My "Advertisement" in the Catholic Sentinel</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_191">191</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">XVII.</td><td align="left">The Care of Old Sisters by the Roman Catholic System</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_199">199</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">XVIII.</td><td align="left">Conclusion</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_205">205</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"></td><td align="left">Appendix</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_217">217</a></td></tr> +</table></div> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> + + + + + +<h2>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> +<div class="center"> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left">Page</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Elizabeth Schoffen attired in the garb of a Sister</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_2">2</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Elizabeth Schoffen—Lecturer and Author</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_3">3</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Elizabeth Schoffen one month before she entered the Convent</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_25">25</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">"Father" Louis de G. Schram</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_33">33</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Sister Ethelbert</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_49">49</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Caught in the Act of Kissing the Floor</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_55">55</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Oregon</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_65">65</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Mother House, Montreal, Canada</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_89">89</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Fac-simile of My Diploma</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_107">107</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Archbishop Alexander Christie of Portland, Oregon</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_139">139</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Fac-simile of the Check I received from the Sisters of Charity</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_180">180</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">A Gift from God</td><td align="right"><a href="#Page_195">195</a></td></tr> +<tr><td align="left"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span></td></tr> +</table></div> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>THE DEMANDS OF ROME</h2> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER I.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">INTRODUCTORY</span></h3> + + +<p>In writing this story of thirty-one years of my service +in the Sisterhood of the Roman Catholic Church, I have no +apologies to make. From the treatment I received after +I left the cruel and oppressive Romish institution, I feel +that there are thousands of Protestants, so-called, that need +to know what is required and demanded of the poor, duped +girls that are in these prisons of darkness that dot this +beautiful country of ours from one end to the other, guising +themselves under the cloak of religion.</p> + +<p>Then, there is the Roman Catholic, who has been brought +up in that faith, and yet feels that the system as practiced +in this country is not in accord with the American principles. +To these I wish to give my message, that they might know +the inner workings of these damnable institutions, falsely +called "charitable and religious."</p> + +<p>With malice toward no one, but for love of God, charity +and liberty to all, I tell this story of my life, with a +sincere hope that it may—in some little way—help you, +dear reader, and your posterity from drifting into the +now threatening condition of pagan darkness and the indescribable, +as well as uncalled for, unnatural, inhuman +tortures I escaped from.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span></p> + +<p>Protestants are brought up in such grand freedom and +liberty of spirit, both civil and religious, that it is almost +impossible for them to believe that there can be anything +to prevent Roman Catholics (I now mean the good Roman +Catholic) from enjoying the same rights and privileges +that they do. If my Protestant friends will just stop one +moment and think about the difference between Americanism +and Catholicism, then they will realize how it is that the +good Roman Catholic cannot enjoy the true liberal government +that their forefathers fought, bled and died for, and +which they are enjoying today.</p> + +<p>Americanism means true democracy—the rule of the +majority in matters civil, and the protection of the rights +of the minority.</p> + +<p>Americanism means freedom of thought, conscience, +speech and press.</p> + +<p>Americanism means the right to worship God according +to the dictates of your own conscience.</p> + +<p>Americanism means that liberty of body, soul and spirit +which tends to the development of all that is noblest and +best in the individual.</p> + +<p>Does Roman Catholicism mean these great principles?</p> + +<p>Let me say emphatically, NO.</p> + +<p>Catholicism means the rule of the Pope.</p> + +<p>Catholicism means restriction of thought, speech, and +censorship of the press.</p> + +<p>Catholicism means the worship of God in no other manner +than set forth by the Popes, and the persecution of +heretics, even unto death. You weak Protestants will prob<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>ably +say, "Oh, not that bad." Well, let me tell you, that +you had better open your eyes. Let me quote from the +"Golden Manual," a prayer book I used while a Sister. +This book has the approval of John Card. McCloskey, then +Archbishop of New York, page 666: "That thou wouldst +vouchsafe to defeat the attempts of all Turks and heretics, +and bring them to naught." And according to the Roman +Catholic Church, a heretic is anyone who does not believe +all the teachings of that church. So you Protestants are +each and every one heretics and the Roman Catholic church +has no use for you, so why should you cater to them?</p> + +<p>Catholicism means repression of individuality and the +subjection of the body, soul and spirit to a ruling class +(the priests) by the terrible doctrine of infallibility, for we, +as Catholics and sisters, believe that the priest cannot sin, +as priest.</p> + +<p>With these Roman Catholic principles, which I learned +and practiced as a sister, so diabolically opposed to our +American principles, it can readily be seen why a good +Roman Catholic cannot enjoy the freedom which the Constitution +gives to every American citizen. And, my dear +American Protestant, if you do not get any other thought +from this book, I wish to give you one here in the introductory +which will be well worth your earnest, thoughtful +study: If these principles of the Roman Catholic system +are allowed to continue being put into practice, there is a +possibility that we may lose our precious heritage of freedom +which has been handed down to us. I was deprived of all +the rights of an American citizen till about five years ago. +I was buried in pagan darkness and superstition and my +soul longed and was dying for light and life, and I did +not know how to obtain freedom because of the ignorant<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> +manner in which I was raised in the parochial school, +and the damnable instructions I received from the so-called +representative of Christ on earth, the priest. I have heard +that there are about eighty thousand sisters in the convents +of the Roman Catholic system in the United States, +and if this power can keep that number of girls in subjection +and ignorance, do you not think that they will +do the same with the seculars, if they had a little more +power?</p> + +<p>Just think it over, and read of the demands of Rome +I had to yield to for thirty-one years. Read the dark history +of the Roman Catholic Church, and remember that +Rome never changes; 'Semper eadem—' "As it was in the +beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. +Amen." Then maybe you will cease being Protestant in +name only, and begin to protest.</p> + +<p>Why are we Protestants? What is the meaning of the +word Protestant?</p> + +<p>Protestant is one who protests, and we are called Protestants +because at the time of the Reformation the people +who protested against the cruelties and superstitious practices +of Rome took the name Protestant, and we are supposed +to protest against the same teachings and cruelties +today.</p> + +<p>But how many true Protestants have we today? Very +few, indeed. If you would be a true Protestant, you must +protest twenty-four hours a day, and seven days in every +week in the year. Thank God, the American people have, +in the last few years, begun to wake up, and see the evils +of this terrible system, which is gnawing at the very vitals +of our free institutions. And, if the American people do not +become indifferent, as they have in the past, Rome will<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> +meet the same fate here that she has met, or is meeting, in +nearly every country where she has held sway for any +length of time.</p> + +<p>History tells us in no uncertain language of the downfall +of the once powerful country of Spain, of the suppression +of the convents and monasteries in Portugal, Italy and +France, and without the system of convents and monasteries, +priestcraft can amount to naught. With these historical +facts staring us in the face, the convent and monastery +system is becoming a power in this land, and the inevitable +is sure to come—the suppression of all closed institutions. +"History repeats."</p> + +<p>Therefore, I wish to give to the world my experience +of thirty-one years in a convent, that I may help hasten the +time when these institutions will be open, and the captive set +free; that I may help, if I can, the real true, red-blooded +American citizens from returning to sleepy indifference.</p> + +<p>I cannot write this story in the language of an educated +person, for as you will learn in the succeeding chapters, my +education was sadly neglected. There will, no doubt, be +many grammatical errors, which I ask my readers to overlook, +as it is not intended as a work of rhetoric, but a +message from the heart. I will write it in my own language, +that which I had to learn mostly by myself, and it took a +great many years of hard work and a great deal of deception +on my part to be able to tell it even as well as I will. And, +if I can convey to my American brothers and sisters any +new light on the workings of these damnable institutions, +or, if I may be the means of influencing a few more to be +real, true, honest Protestants, then this effort will not be +in vain.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span></p> + +<p>I have no tale of immorality to tell, as the order of +which I was a member was what may be classed as one of +the "open orders," and the institutions in which I worked +most of my so-called "religious" career, were among the +most modern operated by the Roman Catholic system in this +country. I have heard and read a great deal about the +nameless infamies and the degradation of the "cloistered" +orders, but that story I must leave for some other to tell. +I will tell the unvarnished, plain truth of my experience in +the "modern" institutions, and let the reader draw his or +her own conclusion as to the life the sisters in the closed +orders have to live.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER II.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">My Early Life and Schooling</span></h3> + + +<p>I was born in 1861, in Minnesota, of German parents, +who had come from Germany in quest of greater liberty +and a home in a free land.</p> + +<p>My mother was a most devout Roman Catholic, absolutely +under priest guidance, and by his instructions to her +the children were reared and schooled. My father was a +broad-minded Roman Catholic, not very strong in the faith. +I have heard him speak of the teachings and superstitious +practices, as "priest foolishness." But, that there might +be peace in the family, he would leave matters regarding +the children to mother, and leaving these things with her +was leaving them with the priest.</p> + +<p>When I was five years old, we migrated to the State +of Washington near Walla Walla (then called Fort Walla +Walla).</p> + +<p>I was the eighth child of a large family, and as my +parents could not afford to send all of us to the convent +or parochial school, it was my lot to go to the public school +a few weeks occasionally for three years. This was when +I was at the age of eight, nine and ten years. But, for +fear of imbibing the "Protestant godless spirit," as my<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> +mother called it, I was given only a reader and speller. +Nearly every day my mother would question me as to what +the Protestant children would say to me at school. She +cautioned me many, many times not to talk to them, as they +were the children of bad Protestants, that they would +grow up bad and wicked the same as their parents were, +without belief in God and church, as Protestants were people +who fell away from God by leaving the true church and +following a very wicked man, named Luther, who became +proud and disobedient to the Pope.</p> + +<p>These Protestant godless (public) schools were greatly +deplored in my home by my mother, and yet my father was +a teacher and director in these public schools for a great +many years. Because the Roman Catholic people had to +pay taxes to keep these schools running, there was much +murmuring against that unjust government of an infidel +people, as it was called. With these contentions continually +wrangling in my home, it did not require serious excuses +for my being kept out of school. I have heard my mother +make the statement many times that it would be better to +have no education than to have this Protestant godless public +school education.</p> + +<p>When I was eleven years old, my mother and the priest +decided that it was time for me to go to the convent school +to learn my catechism, confession, my first communion, the +rosary—my religion. In fact, during the three years I +attended this school, that was about all I learned. True, +there were classes of reading, spelling and arithmetic, but +the books I used in these studies were of a lesser grade +than those I used during the short time I went to the public +school. By the order of the sister who taught arithmetic, +I had to teach smaller children what little arithmetic I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> +learned from blackboard study in the public school, having +my class in the back of the room we occupied. The sister +who taught reading (Sister Agnes) told us that before she +came to that school to teach, she had been a cook in an +Indian Mission. Well qualified, wasn't she? The catechism +teacher (Sister Mary Rosary) taught sewing and catechism +alternately, in that part of the building known as the wash-house.</p> + +<p>Three years of my life were wasted in this manner, +learning practically nothing but Roman Catholic catechism +and pagan religion. Three years of just that time of a +child's life which should be spent laying the foundation for +something nobler and grander.</p> + +<p>And now, after all is said and done, I was prepared to +take my first communion. This was administered to me on +May 23d, 1875, by "Father" Duffy, in the parish church of +Walla Walla. I was confirmed the same day, in the same +church, by Bishop Blanchet, of Vancouver, Washington.</p> + +<p>I thought that I now had religion, and as I thought that +was the one objective of the convent schooling, I took my +few books home and told my mother that I would not go +to that school any longer. I wanted to return to the public +school, but mother said we were Catholics, and as such, we +had to go to the Catholic school. Finally, after a great deal +of persistence, I was permitted to go to the public school, +but it was only for a very short time again. Mother took +sick, and regardless of the fact that there were two sisters +and a brother younger than I, and a sister and brother +older, at home, this was a very good excuse to get me out +of school.</p> + +<p>From this time till I was twenty years old, six years, +I did nothing but idle away the most precious time of one's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> +existence. Oh, what stupid, lonely, sorrowful girlhood +years they were. I knew in a dreamy way that I was being +cheated out of my right of education, but what was I to +do? I was tempted many times to leave home and work +for schooling. I once made mention of this intention to +mother. I was threatened with all sorts of punishments if +I ever attempted a thing of this nature. She told me that +I could study the catechism at home, that that was enough +for me to know—that I would not forget the things that +would take me to heaven and keep me from going to that +terrible hell-fire with the devils. If there would have been +any reasonable excuse for all this, I would have nothing +to say. But there the school was at our very door, free to +all, without price, with the exception of the few books that +were needed, and yet I was denied that privilege. And +why? All in the name of religion.</p> + +<p>Oh, my American friends, can you not see the folly of +it all? Can you not see the folly of allowing this one-man +power to continue building these institutions all over this +fair land of ours? Every time you see a parochial school +in the shadow of a cross, just think that there is the institution +taking the place of our public schools, and you can +rest assured that even the parochial schools would not be +here if it were not for the public schools. Institutions supposed +to be educational, when in reality they are institutions +for the purpose of teaching Roman Catholic paganism.</p> + +<p>You may say that there are Roman Catholics who are +well educated. Yes, there are. But where you will see one +who is well educated, there will be hundreds and maybe +thousands who have only a duped education, a fooled education, +so to speak. I have given you a fair example of +Roman Catholic education in my own life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span></p> + +<p>Six years before I entered the sisterhood, I had nothing +to do outside the few home chores, kept in inexcusable +ignorance, deprived of every opportunity for any enlightenment, +even for my own future home life. I could hear +nothing but punishments, purgatory, hell-fire and everlasting +damnation. Prayer to the crucifix in honor of the five +holy wounds, to the holy Virgin Mary and her badge—the +scapular—for protection; confession, the church, the priest-Christ—these +were my schooling. No reading, no society, +except one Catholic neighbor family, and I was being continually +cautioned to beware of them, as they had little of +the Roman Catholic religion, were too worldly and were +given almost entirely to dress and nice times.</p> + +<p>Be assured that I had a real Roman Catholic raising, +absolute ignorance, steeped in Popery, superstition, idolatry +filled with Roman fanaticism. One of the Popes has said, +"Ignorance is the mother of devotion." Yes, superstition +was the name of my Roman Catholic mother; indifference +was the name, in effect, of my Roman Catholic father. But +the Lord God, the pope, through the priest, the devil's +hellish system, was the school I was raised in. It was this +cunningly devised, diabolical system which was responsible +for the ignorance and mental blindness of my good, honest, +but deluded parents, as it was to blame for the awful +wrongs, injustice and the wretched life of abject convent +slavery I had to live so many years.</p> + +<p>So I had been compelled to hear and see nothing but +the one sided teaching of the Roman Catholic catechism, +the priest's hell and damnation preaching, had been held +back and down in Roman Catholic ignorance, darkness and +superstition, until at length I became as one deaf, dumb +and blind, which very well explains the principle of the +teachings of the Roman Catholic system.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span></p> + +<p>During the last few years of my home life, all home +and priestly influence was brought to bear on the convent +life as the preferable choice for a girl. I had a great ambition +to be a teacher, and the Jesuit priests (Father Jordan +and Father Cathaldo) assured me that in the convent the +sisters taught everything a girl needed to know; music, +singing, needlework and the necessary education for teaching. +The beautiful, glowing picture of convent and a sister's +life were constantly being brought to my mind, till I could +at last think of nothing else.</p> + +<p>The world was pictured as terrible and sinful; the people +being educated in the public schools, living under the influence +of an unbelieving government, parents having no +religion, people of irresponsible character and loose morals, +caring for nothing but the material things of this world +and good times, which consisted of sinful pleasures. And, +living in this manner, there was no hope of eternal life for +them, as there was no one to whom they could confess their +sins, and "nothing defiled can enter heaven."</p> + +<p>With these things constantly burdening my undeveloped +mind, and the thought of the great work I could do for the +church and priests, and of some day being a great sister-teacher, +I at last consented to be a sister for the Roman +Catholic system.</p> + +<p>Very natural, under this kind of home life and influence, +when every thing human, natural, ennobling, elevating +and commonly decent and Christian was withheld and kept +out of my life, and all of nature's endowments and rights +distorted and put to my mind as something deceptive and +leading to sin and deplorable wrongs.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER III.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">My Novitiate Life</span></h3> + + +<p>My last two confessions, in preparation to entering the +convent were made to "Father" Ceserri. When I had finished +the last one, and he was expounding and explaining +my admirable choice of sisterhood life, he raised his right +hand while pronouncing the words, "I absolve thee, etc." +and then he put his arm around my neck and very "fatherly" +kissed me. In the midst of my sanctifying confusion I +did not know whether it was the Holy Ghost, or if it +was meant in brotherly love. But, I quieted my mind +with the happy thought that as the priest was Christ in +the confessional, it must have been Him who had kissed +me, and I believed myself highly favored by this mark +of His love.</p> + +<p>This same priest, "Father" Ceserri, took me from my +home, which was in the Palouse country in the eastern +part of Washington, to Walla Walla, which was two days' +travel by stage, and a few hours on the railroad. At the +end of the two days' stage travel, we were in Dayton, +Washington. It had been very warm and dusty all day. +The clerk of the hotel showed us to a large room prepared +for two. "Father" Ceserri, in a laughing, jolly, good-natured +manner, remarked that the clerk took us for man<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span> +and wife. The priest left the room while I was dusting +and arranging myself. When he returned, he had a couple +of bottles of porter, he called it, and two big goblets. He +opened the porter and filled the goblets, handed one to me +and kept the other himself. I would not take it, telling +him that I never took liquor. He pleaded that I should +drink it as it would do me good after the tiresome travel +of the day. He could not prevail upon me to take it, so he +left the room again, returning soon with some beer, saying +that this was milder and insisted that I take it. I refused +as before. He told me that if I wanted to be a sister +that I had to learn to obey, as sisters made vows of obedience. +So I consented to taste it in obedience to him. He +was then satisfied, as I had obeyed.</p> + +<p>The next day we went to Walla Walla, where I remained +about a month with the Sisters of Charity, who took me to +Vancouver, Washington, where I entered the convent.</p> + +<p>It was understood between the priest and my mother, +before I left home, that I would have a year's schooling +before entering the Sisterhood. This promise had also +been made to me by the Reverend Mother John of the +Cross.</p> + +<p>On the day set by the sisters, July 30th, 1881, I was +notified that I was to be received into the novitiate that +evening. I reminded the reverend mother of her promise +to me in regard to school, and she told me that she had not +forgotten it, that the two years' novitiate was all schooling. +I believed her, and, as I had already had a few lessons +in obedience, I thought it best for me to do as she directed. +I had learned that the reverend mother superior was the +same over us in the convent as the priest in the confessional +and church. So I yielded in all confidence to her for my +future interests.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_026.png" width="476" height="645" alt="Elizabeth Schoffen, One Month Before Leaving Home for +the Convent." title="" /> +<p class="caption">Elizabeth Schoffen, One Month Before Leaving Home for +the Convent.</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span></p> + +<p>On entering the novitiate, I was given a formula, which +I said kneeling, as follows: "Reverend Mother, I beg to +enter this holy house, and will submit to all the trials to +prove myself worthy to become a servant of the poor, and +pray for perseverance." I was then led into a large, barn-like +hall or room, with a long, sort-of-workshop table in the +center, and a number of plain chairs—this was all the furniture. +There were a few holy pictures on the wall which +broke the awful bareness. The frames were black, coffin-like +strips of wood, very forcibly impressing the idea of +death on my mind.</p> + +<p>I was then led to a graded oratory where there were +various statues and lighted candles, before which I knelt, +ahead of the novices and the Mistress of Novices, and +prayed: "Veni, Creator Spiritus," meaning, "Come, O +Holy Ghost," and the Litany of the Saints. With this +introductory ceremony over, the Mistress came to me with +a large pair of scissors and cut off my beautiful, golden-brown +hair, my only beauty. This was the first "mark +of the beast," the first preparatory act for Rome's "holy" +institution.</p> + +<p>I was then a "postulant" which means on probation. +The postulant period generally is six months. During that +time the sisters decide whether or not the candidate has a +religious calling—that is, to find out more intimately her +character, disposition, temperament, inclinations, disinclinations—to +see if she has the bodily fitness and soul requirements +to be permitted the next step of advancement in this +"holy" calling.</p> + +<p>I was told by the mistress that the closing of the door +of that "holy" house was a complete separation of myself +from the sinful world. That if I wanted to be a spouse<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> +of Christ and a good sister, I had to absolutely forget +everything outside the convent, even to my own parents and +relations. "He that is not willing to leave father and mother +for my sake is not worthy of me." The one important +obligation that was repeatedly impressed upon my mind +was that I had entered the convent to become a religious +to save my soul. The quotation, "Let the dead bury their +dead," was translated literally to me, and I was not to +worry about any one outside the four walls that enclosed me.</p> + +<p>As a postulant, I was to learn the fundamental virtues +of the community of the Sisters of Charity—Humility, +Simplicity and Charity. For the acquisition of these virtues +I had to learn to diminish in my own estimation; be glad +whenever I was given an opportunity to abase, to renounce +or to mortify myself. By the interior and exterior practice +of these virtues I had to prove myself. By true humility +of heart, I had to bear all things and refuse the soul its +desires. The poor and humble in spirit pass their life in +abundance of peace, I was taught.</p> + +<p>One of the first humiliating experiences I had, to illustrate +the above teaching, was one Sunday evening soon +after I entered. The sister who was to relieve me in the +department I was working in, had failed to report and I +had not had any supper. The next exercise was benediction +in the church and I could not absent myself from this +without being dispensed by my superior, and then for only +very grave reasons. I went to the novitiate room about +eight o'clock, and the mistress of novices rebuked me +severely for not being in rank with the novices. I told her +that I had not had any supper yet, as the sister officer had +failed to replace me in time. I had broken a rule by being +absent from supper without permission, so I went on my<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span> +knees and asked a penance. The mistress told me that +I could go to the pantry and get some eatables and take +them up to the novitiate room and eat my supper before +the novices. She also informed me that I had done +wrong for blaming a professed sister for the breach of +the rule.</p> + +<p>This seems like a very childish occurrence, and so it +was. But it was humiliating for me to sit before a number +of novices eating a cold supper, and Rome had made her +point by demanding from one of her dupes, and the dupe +responded.</p> + +<p>Almost from the first day I entered, I had to learn +Latin prayers. This was probably the education I was +promised. It would have been alright had I been taught +Latin so it would have been of some benefit to me. But +these prayers were taught me in a sort of parrot-like manner, +the mistress of novices telling me how to pronounce the +words in Latin, and I knew what they meant in English, +having learned the prayers previously. If I were to see +the same words written, explaining something I had not +previously memorized, I would not be able to read or +understand the meaning of them. I learned prayers in +French in the same manner.</p> + +<p>I will give you an example of a Latin prayer. This is +the Angelical Salutation, or Hail! Mary:</p> + +<p>Ave, Maria, gratia plena; Dominus tecum; benedicta +tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus.</p> + +<p>Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, +nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.</p> + +<p>Quite often during my postulant period, while I was +learning these Latin prayers, I would have to do sewing.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span> +This was a beginning of the vow of poverty, which I hoped +to take in the near future—learning to be a religious, and +at the same time working my hands for the Roman Catholic +system.</p> + +<p>The candidate is assigned her work by the mistress of +novices and goes through a test to see in what way she can +become useful in the service of God as a Sister of Charity. +It is a case of getting all the work possible out of the girls +from the very start, for these so-called "holy" institutions.</p> + +<p>My two years' novitiate training was served in the boys' +department of the Orphanage of the Sisters of Charity at +Vancouver, Washington. There was an average of about +seventy boys in this institution, ranging in age from three +to fourteen years. Two sisters had all the care of these +children, except the cooking of the food. And, oh, the care +these poor children received. They were physically and +mentally weak from having been underfed and poorly cared +for, and being taught by two sisters who had a parochial +school education such as I had.</p> + +<p>One of my duties was to awaken these poor, little waif +children for Mass at five thirty in the morning. If, on +arising, I found that any of them had failed to get up +during the night to attend to nature's call, it was my duty +to whip them with a substantial leather strap, which was +provided for that purpose. If some of the larger boys +needed this persuasive remedy for their ills, they would be +taken to the attic, stripped, and some sister would be there +to administer the medicine in prolific doses. With this +kind of treatment, it was no wonder that we had to be continually +on our guard to keep them from running away. +I have known as many as six at one time to run away for +two or three days, and sometimes some of them would not +come back at all.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span></p> + +<p>On the twenty-fourth day of February, 1882, I was +admitted to the "holy habit," in most orders called the +taking of the "white veil," the next step to my "religious +perfection."</p> + +<p>I was now a "novice" and I must present myself every +two weeks to the mistress of novices, and in order that she +may direct my soul in the spiritual life, I must kneel to her +in private and make what is called "manifestation of conscience." +That is, to lay bare my heart and mind in everything +I can possibly think of, excepting grave sins. If the +mistress, who is a cunning director, has any dislike for any +of the novices, this exercise is very cruel, for these "saintly" +nuns know better than any one on earth how to cunningly +torture those in their power—the system forcing them to it.</p> + +<p>Every week I had to go to the priest for confession, +whether I had anything to confess or not. Very often I +had to search my heart and mind to find something to tell +this "Christ" in the confessional.</p> + +<p>Soon after I became a "novice," we were called to the +novitiate for spiritual instruction. "Father" Louis de G. +Schram was the chaplain. An orphan boy had been taken +out of the orphanage on account of one of the younger +sisters having talked a little too much. "Father" Schram +said, "Now, sisters, always tell the truth, but to tell the +truth you do not have to tell everything you know. Suppose, +Sister O'Brien, if somebody would come and ask you, +'Is Johnny Morgan here?' you would not have to say 'Yes, +Johnny Morgan is here.' You place one hand in the sleeve +of the other hand, and you say, 'No, Johnny Morgan is +not here,' and you will mean that Johnny Morgan is not up +your sleeve."</p> + +<p>This story was given as a spiritual instruction, but it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span> +very truly represents the system I lived for thirty-one +years—deception, from beginning to finish. With teachings +of this nature constantly before us, it was a case of lying, +stealing, thieving and "swipping" among ourselves, from +morning till night, to make life a little more comfortable +for ourselves.</p> + +<p>A novice is not allowed to talk in general conversation +with a professed sister during her novitiate period, with +the exception of the mistress of novices and the mother +superior. These two sisters, and the priest, are the only +confidents we have, as we are taught to talk among ourselves +on religious subjects only, and if we hear another +novice talking in any other subject or breaking any other +rule, it is our duty by rule and conscience to report her +to the mistress of novices. We are told that we are all +"monitors," which means, carry the reports to the mistress +of novices.</p> + +<p>This practice destroys confidence and causes us to regard +one another with suspicion, the result of which is distrust +and hatred, and a general spy system. This is one of the +most devilish practices taught in this part of a sister's +life, one that stays with her throughout her whole sisterhood. +Tattling, accusing, charging one another with the most +trivial, cruel, and very often wicked acts. Many times the +sister accused is innocent of any wrong doing, but there is +nearly always a penance imposed upon her, and if she is +not in the good grace of the mother superior, the penance +is often very severe.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_034.png" width="568" height="766" alt=""Father" Louis de G. Schram +(Johnny Morgan Story)" title="" /> +<p class="caption">"Father" Louis de G. Schram +(Johnny Morgan Story)</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span></p> + +<p>From the first day we enter, we are not allowed to send +or receive mail, without it first being censored. This is +another manner Rome has of keeping the girls in the convent +after they are once there. The practice of censorship +of mail is absolutely against the postal laws of the country, +but it is done in the convents every day. Why should the +postal authorities permit the continuous disregard for the +laws? Are the sisters in the convents American citizens +and under the protection of the laws of the country, or are +they not American citizens? If <i>you</i> would open mail belonging +to some other person, unless you could give a very +good reason for so doing, you would find yourself in the +clutches of the law, and would have to account to the +Federal government. But you never hear of a superior +of a convent being held for opening another sister's mail. +Why this discrimination? Is it not breaking the law in one +instance the same as the other?</p> + +<p>While I was in the novitiate, a letter that I had written +to my parents, was returned to me by the mistress of novices, +with the instruction that I rewrite it and leave certain parts +out, as it would cause my people to think that I was not +happy. Yes, dear reader, that is it exactly. It did not make +any difference how I felt, whether I was happy or not, the +fact was that I was in the convent, seemingly, for better or +worse. It was the impression I left on the outer world that +Rome was most interested in.</p> + +<p>The fact of the matter is, that I was not happy and +wished to leave, but did not know what to do or where to +go. I knew that I would not be welcomed in my own home +or among Roman Catholics, and with the bringing up I +had received and under the influence of this religious training, +I believed it impossible to be saved among Protestants. +Several times I made mention of my unhappiness to the +Master of Novices in the confessional. He implored me +to be faithful and God would reward me, and if I was not +faithful there was small chance of saving my soul.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span></p> + +<p>Nearly always after telling the Master of Novices of +the unhappiness in the convent, he would, at the next +"spiritual" instruction, give us a long talk about girls who +had lost their vocation by leaving the convent, and that they +nearly all came to a bad end.</p> + +<p>My dear reader, you can readily understand why more +of these poor, deluded sisters do not leave these institutions, +when, from the very beginning these principles are ground +in their very hearts and minds until they become as one +bound, tied and gagged.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER IV.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">A Virgin Spouse of Christ</span></h3> + +<p><span class="smcap">My First Mission</span></p> + + +<p>My novitiate training of two years being finished, I +was now ready to be prepared to become a "Virgin Spouse +of Christ." My "canonical examination" was conducted by +"The Right Reverend" Aegedius Jounger, Bishop of Nesqually. +This examination was a very private affair. It +consisted of rigid questioning in regard to the vows I was +about to take, poverty, chastity and obedience, and especially +the vow of chastity. I was asked what I understood by the +vow of chastity, and if I thought I could keep it through +my life. I was also questioned very closely as to my fitness +to take a vow of this nature.</p> + +<p>I was informed that my examination had been satisfactory, +and on the sixth day of August, 1883, I made my +profession as a Sister of Charity of Providence, in the convent +of that order, the House of Providence, in Vancouver, +Washington. Bishop Jounger officiated at this ceremony, +assisted by "Father" Schram and several other priests.</p> + +<p>This ceremony included the "nuptial mass" which is the +wedding ceremony between the novice, or candidate, as the +bride, and Jesus Christ, the absent bridegroom. At this<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> +ceremony I received my wedding ring (which I have yet) +and took the perpetual vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. +These three things—the wedding ceremony, receiving +the ring and the taking of the vows—made me a "virgin +bride of Jesus Christ." The head-gear of the garb was +changed at this ceremony of my "religious profession," +which was the only difference between the garb of the +novice and the professed sister in the order I had entered. +I also received my number, 554, which meant that I was the +554th sister to enter that order, and which I kept throughout +my sisterhood life. All clothes and articles assigned to us +for our use are marked with the sister's number, just as +seculars (people of the world) use their names or initials, +or the numbering of convicts in the penitentiary.</p> + +<p>The following is, in substance, the form of the final and +perpetual vows I took:</p> + +<p>"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the +Holy Ghost. I, Elizabeth Schoffen, in religion Sister Lucretia, +wishing to consecrate myself to God as a daughter +of charity, a servant of the poor, do hereby make to the +Divine Majesty the perpetual vows of poverty, chastity and +obedience, under the authority of the General Superior, and +according to the constitution and laws of the institute and +organization.</p> + +<p>"I humbly beg the Divine mercy through the infinite +merits of our Lord Jesus Christ, the intercession of His +glorious Mother and the prayers of the Patron Saints of +this Institute, to grant me the grace of being faithful to +these vows of poverty, chastity and obedience; for the dispensation +of which I will humbly submit to my Mother +General and the Holy Father, the Pope. Amen."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span></p> + +<p>After the taking of these vows, there is more mass +during which the act of "Consecration to the Holy Virgin +Mary" takes place. I had just been consecrated to Jesus +Christ as His virgin spouse, but now I must be consecrated +to His mother. Let me say right here that once each year +the sisters are required to renew their vows of poverty, +chastity and obedience, and the act of consecration to the +Holy Virgin Mary.</p> + +<p>The act of consecration to the Holy Virgin Mary is as +follows:</p> + +<p>'O, Holy Virgin, virgin among all virgins, and queen +of all religious associations, we humbly prostrate ourselves +at your feet in order to acknowledge that after God, it is to +you, O good mother of ours, that we owe the grace of our +vocation—devoted and consecrated in a special manner to +the devotion of your sorrows. Being called to take care +of your dear Son in His poverty, His suffering and to assist +Him when dying, we desire that you make us share in +your feelings as a mother. Therefore, please make us partake +of your compassion for all the spiritual and physical +miseries of the children that you have begotten on the cross. +Be pleased to look at us as the daughters of sorrow. Deign +to receive us in your most amiable heart—this heart of yours +that was pierced with the seven swords of sorrow We +willingly love this heart of yours so good. You know the +dangers we go through in the exercise of Charity; take +great care of us in the midst of our perils, O you who are +the helper of all Christians. In acknowledgment of your +kindness, we shall work with all our strength to make all +people love, serve and glorify thee. Amen.'</p> + +<p>Allow me to explain, in a concise manner, the three +vows, poverty, chastity and obedience:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span></p> + +<p>By the vow of poverty, I had to give up all the material +goods I possessed and all that I ever hoped to possess either +by service or inheritance—being guided according to the +Lord's counsel, "If thou wilt be perfect, go, sell all thou +hast and give it to the poor." Even my material body no +longer belonged to myself, I was an inherent part of the +order. Nothing belonged to me—the clothes I wore, even +to a pin, belonged to the community. I had to always say, +"This is <i>ours</i>," never say "This is <i>mine</i>." If any presents +were given to me in any of the work I was to do, I had to +turn them over to the superior. Not a minute of time is +mine any longer, the twenty-four hours of the day belongs +to the community, and if I wish to do anything other than +the daily routine, I must be dispensed by my superior.</p> + +<p>By the vow of chastity I was forbidden to think of a +man or marriage. I was not allowed to kiss and fondle +children, especially male children, or to kiss another sister. +After a long absence, sisters may embrace and greet each +other by rubbing head-gears against the cheeks. I was not +allowed to enter the curtained-off apartment of another +sister in the dormitory. I was not allowed any more liberty +towards even my mother or any of my relatives than I was +towards strangers. I may, as my book of rule reads, see +them for one-half an hour, upon permission from my superior, +and if the time is extended I must be dispensed by +my superior for the non-observance of this point of the +"holy" rule. Now, when I had this permission to speak to +some of my relatives, or some one else, I must never speak +in a language not understood by the sister in near surveillance. +If these visits occur more than once or twice a +year, it is ample ground for humility, and mean, cutting +things said by the superior and sisters. This is also a +breach of the vow of poverty, as the time spent talking does<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span> +not belong to the sister but to the community. She is told +that it is a bad example to others who may wish the same +privilege. It is a continual determined vigilance, keeping +the sisters from any communication with the outside world. +The rule particularly emphasizes that the sisters shall not +keep birds or pet animals, as it would take time, which is +not hers, and divert her affection which, as a sister spouse, +must be given entirely to her heavenly spouse, Jesus Christ.</p> + +<p>Another great teaching of this vow of chastity is modesty. +A sister is taught to keep her eyes modestly cast down, +fold her hands in the big sleeves of her garb when in the +presence of the "opposite sex" (as men are called), and +never look them in the face any higher than the chin. I +tried this teaching for some time, but somehow Mother +Nature was still with me, and every once in a while I would +take a quick look at a man full in the face to see if he was +good-looking, and if I could not see a good-looking man, I +would look at the priest to see if he was handsome.</p> + +<p>As an example for this virtue of modesty, we were told +of the young Jesuit priest, St. Aloysius, who was so good +and pure and holy, that he never looked his own mother full +in the face.</p> + +<p>By the vow of obedience a sister is to yield entire obedience +of thought, word and understanding to her superior. +The will of her superior must be her will, believing that +black was white if the superior said so. Literally, she was +like a corpse in her superior's hands, and still a tool to work +for the Roman Catholic system. What is worse than mental +slavery, the stultifying of all our intellectual powers and +bringing them under the despotic will of another, and this +behind the prison walls and barred doors of the Romish +religious convent?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span></p> + +<p>Obligations to convent life and practices crush all natural +instinct. If the sister desires to aim at the high "ideals" +taught in the sisterhood, she must abase and humiliate herself. +If she has not the courage to make a fool of herself, +by abasing and humiliating herself, she must ask her superior +to give her some humiliating penance to suppress her +feelings of higher nature as proud and coming from the +devil. The more sinful and criminal a sister can believe +herself in the eyes of God, and the more deserving of prisonlike +treatment, and as a worm under the feet of all her +companions, the more perfect and saintly she becomes in +her own eyes and in the eyes of her superior, who can then +use her as a better tool for the benefit of the system.</p> + +<p>Any one who knows anything about nuns knows that +they are nearly all like children, for under the ironclad, +narrow and restricted rule, the sisters retrograde from the +day they enter, and as time goes on they become as the +rule itself—bitter and heartless, from a sense of morbidness +and from the unnatural conditions, circumstances and environment +surrounding them. There are the sisters who +are childish and silly; others who are the cunning hypocrite. +The latter type become the schemers among the sisters for +the system, and believe me, they will leave nothing undone +to gain favor with the heads of the order and the priests +that they might gain some high office for themselves.</p> + +<p>For nearly a year after I took my vows, I remained +at the Orphanage in Vancouver.</p> + +<p>As you already know, I was raised on a ranch, and was +accustomed to being in the open air and having plenty of +sunshine. These three years of almost complete confinement +in this institution, and the long hours of hard, tedious work +had begun to tell on my health. And, now as I could hardly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> +attend to my duties, I was transferred to an Indian Mission +at Tulalip, Washington, about June, 1884.</p> + +<p>I was at this Mission five years. The first eight months +I worked in the boys' department, assisting in the industrial +training of about seventy-five Indian boys. The part I had +in training these boys was more manual service than real +instruction. But my labors kept me out of doors considerably +and at the end of the eight months, my health +was practically restored.</p> + +<p>I was then given charge of the girls' department of the +Mission where the work was again very confining.</p> + +<p>Imagine, if you can, the terrible conditions I had to +contend with at this school. There were about sixty girls, +ranging in age from five to twenty-five years. They all +slept in one large dormitory with beds so close together, +that there was barely passing space, and I occupied one +corner of that room. The accommodations for cleanliness +were very poor, and the stench in that sleeping room was +simply nauseating, and there was no remedy for it, with +the existing conditions. In the morning, I had to dress +about twenty-five of these girls, and care for the running, +mattering sores of many, who were diseased (scrofulous), +with an ointment supplied for that purpose by the government +physician.</p> + +<p>After this doctor had made a few visits and I had +become a little acquainted with him, the superior came to +me and asked me about our conversation. When she found +out that we had talked about some things that were not +strictly business, I was not allowed to be in the room when +he came again. She told me that I should be very careful +around a man, that I might lose my vocation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span></p> + +<p>I had to take my turn in the laundry nearly every week, +and I remember one instance which occurred which will +illustrate how the Roman Catholic system makes a "mountain +out of a mole hill" and causes so much sorrow over +practically nothing. I had damaged a little red-flannel +shirt belonging to one of the children, while washing it, +and I never heard the end of this terrible thing until after +I wrote to my father and asked him to send me five dollars, +that I might replace it. A very trivial thing in itself but +the superior kept talking about it, causing me very much +sorrow and grief that I shed many tears over it.</p> + +<p>While I was at this Mission, I received a letter from +my father informing me that my mother was very ill, and +that in all probability would soon pass away. This letter +had been addressed to Vancouver, and my Mother Superior +had opened it and knew the contents. When she forwarded +it to me, she inclosed a letter to my superior at Tulalip, +telling her to tell me that if I could get some one to take +my place and get the money necessary for my fare from my +father, she would give me permission to go home to see +my mother before she died. She knew very well that it +was an impossibility to get any other to take my place, as +I did not have the assigning of sisters to work of any +nature, and none but sisters were allowed in the Mission. +The answer was simply that my mother died and I never +saw her after the day I left home to enter the "holy" +convent.</p> + +<p>Again, after four years of confining work in this department +of the mission, my health absolutely failed. I +asked to be transferred to some other house where I might +have a chance to recuperate. About the first of September, +1889, I was transferred to the Indian Mission at Colville,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span> +Washington. At this Mission I had charge of the sewing +and assisted in the dining-room. The responsibility was +much less than it had been at Tulalip, and, having been +relieved of this strain, and depressing conditions, I gradually +regained my health.</p> + +<p>I had now spent a little over six years in Mission work, +and being naturally of an active disposition, both mentally +and physically, I knew that I could not endure this banishment +much longer. I say "banishment" very thoughtfully, +for banishment it was. No companions with whom to converse, +as the other sisters in these Missions were generally +foreigners who could speak very little English, and as for +being companions they were little better than no one. Then, +the work was very tiresome and monotonous, with no physical +exercise attached to it, nearly all being done in a +sitting posture, with nothing to use or enlighten the mentality.</p> + +<p>So, realizing these conditions, I asked to be given some +work of a more active nature. And, about the first of +December, 1890, I was transferred to the Sacred Heart +Hospital, Spokane, Washington.</p> + +<p>I was at this hospital only a short time, but while there +I had charge of the laundry, which meant doing most of +the work in that department, and also charge of a ward of +fourteen patients, regardless of the fact that I had never +had any previous experience of this nature. And, believe +me, there were many trying, disagreeable experiences both +to myself and the sick, due to my being untrained.</p> + +<p>I recall one instance when I nearly injured myself for +life lifting a patient when I did not know how to handle a +person in a helpless condition. My back was crippled for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> +about a month, but they say experience is the best teacher, +and I had had my first lesson of this nature.</p> + +<p>A physician had prescribed a seidlitz powder for a +patient I was attending, but I had never given one and did +not know how to proceed. I asked the sister superior, and +then endeavored to carry out her orders. I took two large +tumblers half filled with water and a powder in each. +Hurriedly I poured the contents of one tumbler into the +other and the effervescing saline ran all over the poor man +and bed, while he was making desperate efforts to drink a +little. All the men in the ward raised their heads to see +the experiment and enjoyed a hearty laugh, while the patient +received his prescription and a shower bath, both at the +same time.</p> + +<p>This was one time in my convent life that I received +what I had asked for, in fact, it was just the opposite extreme +of what I had been experiencing in my previous +Mission. I was on my feet from morning till night, and +even for recreation and diversion, I was sent to the kitchen +to assist in the work there.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER V.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">My Begging Expedition.</span></h3> + +<p><span class="smcap">St. Vincent's Hospital—Routine of a Sister.</span></p> + + +<p>During the spring of 1891, the Province of the Sisters +of Charity of Providence of the Pacific Northwest was +divided, and by an order from the head Mother House at +Montreal, the sisters were to remain in the provinces where +they were when the division went into effect. I was ordered +to report to the Mother House at Vancouver, Washington. +This was in March, 1891. On my way to Vancouver from +Spokane, I had to pass through Portland, Oregon, and +while there the order went into effect, and the sister superior +of St. Vincent's Hospital claimed me as a subject of the +Oregon Province.</p> + +<p>I was at St. Vincent's Hospital about a month, when I +was transferred to Astoria, Oregon, to St. Mary's Hospital, +where I practiced on typhoid patients and became more +efficient in laundry work, for a little over a year.</p> + +<p>In June, 1892, I was missioned to St. Mary's Hospital, +New Westminster, B. C. My duties in this hospital were +practically the same as in the other hospitals I had +worked in.</p> + +<p>It was while I was at this hospital that I was sent on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span> +my principal begging expedition. On July fourth, 1892, +Sister Ethelbert and myself were commissioned to go north +to the logging camps on the islands in the Gulf of Georgia +(near Alaska) to secure contributions in the name of Charity +for the Roman Catholic Church and to sell tickets for ten +dollars each, which would entitle the holder to care in St. +Mary's Hospital, New Westminter, B. C., for a specified +time.</p> + +<p>The hardship and terrors of this trip are indescribable. +Crossing the stormy straights in small canoes, camping out +at night in the wildest woods, our lives were endangered +many times. Arriving at the camps at all hours of the +night, tired, wet, cold and hungry; being lifted into bunks +by the men when we were so cold, in fact nearly frozen, +that we could hardly move; being carried on the backs of +the men across muddy and wet places where the water was +too shallow for the canoe, or boat, to land. Oh, yes, in the +convent we were taught to be so modest—modesty to the +very extreme, but it is all right, in the Roman Catholic +Church, to send sisters to such places as this, where, as +some of the men told me, they had not seen a woman for +from three to eight years. It was all right in the Roman +Catholic Church because we were getting the money for +the fat living of the priests and to enrich the coffers of +the Pope of Rome. Believe me, dear reader, no benefit do +the sisters ever get from the hardships and indignities imposed +upon them on a trip of this nature.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_050.png" width="540" height="805" alt="Sister Ethelbert, my companion on the "begging trip" +to the Gulf of Georgia, near Alaska. She told me +this was her seventh trip to this part of the country on +a mission of this nature. She died at the age of thirty-six +years." title="" /> +<p class="caption">Sister Ethelbert, my companion on the "begging trip" +to the Gulf of Georgia, near Alaska. She told me +this was her seventh trip to this part of the country on +a mission of this nature. She died at the age of thirty-six +years.</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span></p> + +<p>At one camp we visited, the men refused to keep us over +night, so the men who had rowed us all day, began to row +us to the next camp. About ten o'clock in the night, a storm +arose, and we had to land, as it was too rough to go farther. +The shore space was very limited, as there were huge +mountains on one side and the breakers on the other. Dry +wood was very scarce so the fire we had was little better +than none at all. There were four of us—two sisters and +two men—and all the covering we had was one double +blanket, with the rough, rocky shore for a bed. About two +o'clock in the morning, the storm subsided and we embarked +again and continued our journey, arriving at the next camp +about four o'clock. Two of the workmen very kindly gave +us their bunk, but because of the cold there was very little +sleep. When we arose, the Chinese cook took us to the +kitchen and had us warm our feet in the large oven. He +was a very good and kind sympathetic friend for he looked +so sorry for us and said, "You have hard time."</p> + +<p>Since I had to go begging, I was very pleased to have +Sister Ethelbert for a companion because I knew that she +was not a trouble-maker, but a truly good and sisterly +person. I had hungered and longed for many years to +be with some sister that I could talk with on some other +than the written religious subjects and I was sure that this +was the opportunity. I tried to talk to her, and she would +smile at me, and she tried to talk to me, and I would smile +at her. It was very apparent that our vocabulary was very +limited and simple, when it came to talking on outside subjects. +It was not till some years later that I realized why +this condition existed. It was from the long silence and +suppression, of not only speech, but our very thoughts, +having been in bondage so long.</p> + +<p>We were away from St. Mary's Hospital just three +weeks and brought back a little over eleven hundred dollars +in checks and cash. Is it any wonder that Rome can build +such magnificent institutions?</p> + +<p>As a result of the exposure and hardships on this trip<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span> +I contracted sickness from which I did not completely recover +during the remainder of my convent life. And oh, +if I could only explain what it means to be a sick sister! +I was not receiving the proper care, so I wrote to my Mother +House, located in Portland, Oregon, pleading that something +might be done for me. I waited for three weeks for +an answer, but received none. I wrote to my Superior +again, and told her that if the community could not give +me the care I needed, I would write to my father and ask +him to see that I received medical assistance. This was a +very bold thing for a sister to do, but I was certainly very +sick and little did I care what the community would do +to me.</p> + +<p>When the Mother Superior received this letter, I was +immediately recalled to the Mother House by telegram. I +arrived at the Mother House, St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, +on the seventh day of July, 1893.</p> + +<p>I received fairly good care for a short time; then I was +handed a picture of our suffering Lord, and told by the +Mother Provincial, Sister Mary Theresa, to practice resignation +and make novenas to this miraculous picture for help. +(Novena means nine days' prayer.)</p> + +<p>For years I was not sick enough to be confined to my +bed, although I should have been there many times when +I was drudging away, working for the Church of Rome. +A sick sister need not look for any care until she is about +ready to pass to the Great Beyond. The climax of my +sickness came many years later when I had to submit to +an operation.</p> + +<p>During the first eight months I was at St. Vincent's +Hospital, I had very little use of my left hand and arm.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span> +I thought it was partial paralysis. A very prominent physician +of the hospital staff, whose name I purposely withhold, +diagnosed my case and gave it a technical name, which +my unintelligible mind could not comprehend. But in my +presence he told Sister Mary Bonsecours, who was my +officer and who had received orders to see what the doctor +could do for me, that I would never be any better. Nevertheless, +he prescribed for me which improved my condition +to a certain extent.</p> + +<p>In this condition I assisted in the caring of patients, +doing the best I could, experimenting, as it were, and learning +a little here and there at the expense of the suffering +sick. We had no instructors or books on nursing until after +I had been there about three years, when we were furnished +one book, a manual of nursing, and whenever a sister was +lucky enough to get it she would keep it until some other +sister would have a chance to "swipe" it. A sister once +"swiped" it from me, and it took me eight months to get +a chance to "swipe" it back. Also, about this time we were +allowed to attend certain lectures given by the staff doctors. +One of the "certain" lectures we were <i>not</i> allowed to attend +were those given on maternity, and yet the sisters were +held responsible for any errors in caring for cases of this +nature. To sum it all up in short, we were instructed to +pray that God would bless us and our work and that nothing +wrong would happen to the patients.</p> + +<p>During the first six years of my experience at St. +Vincent's Hospital and after I had recovered sufficiently +from my sickness, I was sent to St. Mary's Hospital, Astoria, +Oregon, off and on, for short periods to assist in the +work there.</p> + +<p>In 1895 the new magnificent, six-story brick St. Vincent's<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span> +Hospital was finished, and we took charge in September of +that year.</p> + +<p>Here I had charge of ten rooms, and had the serving of +two meals daily to the entire floor, which meant about fifty +patients, and the only assistance I had was one girl who +was neither sister nor nurse, but very good and kind to me. +Besides these duties, I had to take my turn in the laundry, +do sewing, and above all else, attend to the numberless +religious obligations.</p> + +<p>In order that you might realize of what these numberless +religious obligations consisted, I will here give a program +of the daily routine which I had to follow throughout +my Sisterhood career:</p> + +<div class="center"> +<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="left">Rise at</td><td align="left">5:00 A.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Morning prayer, followed by meditation</td><td align="left">5:30 A.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Mass</td><td align="left">6:00 A.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Breakfast</td><td align="left">7:00 A.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Spiritual reading</td><td align="left">9:00 A.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Examination of conscience</td><td align="left">11:25 A.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Dinner</td><td align="left">11:30 A.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Beads</td><td align="left">11:35 A.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Recreation for one hour beginning at</td><td align="left">12:00 noon</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Spiritual reading</td><td align="left">1:30 P.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Prostration</td><td align="left">3:00 P.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Meditation</td><td align="left">4:00 P.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Examination of conscience</td><td align="left">5:55 P.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Supper</td><td align="left">6:00 P.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Beads</td><td align="left">6:25 P.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Recreation for one hour beginning at</td><td align="left">7:00 P.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Evening prayer and examination of conscience</td><td align="left">8:00 P.M.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Followed by a visit to the blessed Sacrament in the Chapel.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Retire—lights out and silence</td><td align="left">9:00 P.M.<br /></td></tr> +</table></div> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_056.png" width="700" height="423" alt="Caught in the Act of Kissing the Floor, a Very Common Penance for the Sisters in the +Order I Was a Member of." title="" /> +<p class="caption">Caught in the Act of Kissing the Floor, a Very Common Penance for the Sisters in the +Order I Was a Member of.</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span></p> + +<p>In addition to these, the following must be observed:</p> + +<p>Every hour of the day when the clock strikes, each sister +must rise to her feet and say, "Let us remember that we +are in the holy presence of God. Blessed be the hours of +the birth, death and resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ. +O my God, I give thee my heart, grant me the grace to +pass this hour, and the rest of this day in thy holy love and +without offending thee," and one "Hail, Mary."</p> + +<p>An hour each week must be spent in the chapel in +honor of the Blessed Sacrament.</p> + +<p>From fifteen to thirty minutes every Friday evening +after evening prayer for the exercise called the "culp," in +some orders called "chapter." This exercise consists of each +sister kneeling before the superior, and all the other sisters +charges her with every mean, contemptible, petty wrong, +usually a breach of some rule of the order, which they +have remarked in her during the past week. Then the +"culprit" so charged acknowledges some of these faults, +adds a few more herself, and, kissing the floor, asks a +penance of the superior. The superior has the authority +to impose any of the accustomed penances.</p> + +<p>One Sunday of each month is called "retreat day," which +means additional prayer and devotion, that the sister may be +fortified spiritually for the next month. During this day +there are three meditations in addition to the regular daily +routine. Each sister must present herself to the superior +to tell her spiritual advancement and the difficulties she has +had in the work. Sometimes all the sisters do not have the +time to appear before the superior on this day, but she must +do so the first opportunity she has during the week, and +then it is generally a reprimand for not being there sooner.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span> +This retreat day is ended with a long Te Deum, which +means a canticle of thanksgiving.</p> + +<p>An explanation of some of the daily exercises will no +doubt be of interest to most of my readers.</p> + +<p>The morning meal is eaten in silence, except on Feast +days or unusual occasions. During the noon and evening +meal some sister is appointed to read, generally from the +"Lives of the Saints" or "Roman Martyrology," narrations +very repulsive and revolting to nature. In this manner we +mortify the senses. If we wish something passed while we +are eating, we make signs for it. Ten minutes is about the +time spent in consuming the gout defying food supplied us. +There is a dish-pan with about two quarts of warm water +in it on the table, and the first sister finished eating has this +pan passed to her and she washes her dishes, dries them +and places them in her private drawer in the table at her +place. From six to ten sisters wash their own dishes in this +same water, and no difference if some of these sisters are +diseased, as I have seen them, they would be wasting time +to make a change of water, and that would be a breach of +the vow of poverty. In all my thirty-one years of convent +life, I never had a chair with a back to it more than a dozen +times in the refectory (as the dining-room is called). It +was either benches or stools.</p> + +<p>The following will show the spirit in which a sister +should receive her food, given at my spiritual instruction +during retreat:</p> + +<p>MEALS.</p> + +<p>"Attention and devotion in saying the prayers before +and after meals, eyes modestly cast down, a deep sense of +my own misery, a pure intention in this animal exercise. +Never to pick or choose of what comes to table. If any<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span>thing +is disagreeable, to thank God for having given me +an opportunity of mortification."</p> + +<p>According to rule, we are allowed two hours' recreation +each day, which, in reality, are about the busiest two hours +of the day. Oh, no, Rome does not give her sisters any +two hours' real recreation, or rest, during her long hours +of labor. Such work as preparing fruit for canning or +vegetables for cooking, folding clothes that are often very +damp, picking over unsanitary gauze, tearing rags for +carpet, picking over feathers from old pillows, and other +undesirable work is done during these two hours; and then +they say the sisters have plenty of recreation and rest.</p> + +<p>At three o'clock every afternoon the sister must repair +to some private place for profound prostration. That is, +she must kneel and bend forward and say: "Jesus Christ +became obedient unto death, even unto the death of the +cross. Son of God, dying upon the cross for the salvation +of souls, we adore thee; eternal Father, we offer Thee this, +thy divine Son; accept, we beseech thee, His merits in behalf +of the suffering souls in purgatory, for the conversion +of all poor sinners, and of all in their agony." In addition +to this prayer, she must say the "Hail! Mary" and the "Our +Father" three times each, or remain kneeling the time it +would take to say them and meditate on the prayer said. +Then, this exercise is completed by kissing the floor.</p> + +<p>Three times each day, five minutes is spent in examining +our conscience. We write in a little book provided for that +purpose, our faults and imperfections. Before going to +confession we are supposed to look over this book and in +this manner we forget nothing the priest should know.</p> + +<p>A bell called the "regulation bell" calls us to each and +every one of these "holy" exercises, and no matter what<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span> +the sister is doing when this bell rings, even if a patient is +sorely in need of her care, she must stop and go to her +religious duties. If she is late to any of them, it means +punishment, either by reprimand or penance, or maybe both. +My readers can draw their own conclusions as to the care +a patient gets from a sister-nurse, when these religious +duties comes before the duties of nursing.</p> + +<p>One of the great inconveniences and discomforts of a +sister-nurse is the clothes which she is compelled to wear. +The garb which I wore for thirty-one years weighed about +fifteen pounds, and there is no change of weight in this +"holy habit" for cold or warm weather. Our petticoats +and stockings are the only garments that are changed in +weight for the different temperatures. We are allowed two +garbs at a time, but a sister wears one nearly all the time +until it is worn out. All the cleaning these garbs get is a +little brushing with soap and water, and when it gets discolored, +it is dyed to its original color. One of these garbs +I had for twelve years, and when I discarded it, there was +only a small piece of the original left. Think of the cleanliness +and sanitation of these poor girls, wearing such clothes, +perspiring over the sick, and from cooking and doing +laundry work, and even being under the rule of asking +permission to take a bath. Over all this when we cared +for the sick, we tied a large white apron, slipped on a pair +of white sleeves, and then the patients would say, "How +sanitary these sisters were." Poor, deluded public; poor, +secluded girls; they are not to blame, they do the very best +they can under the gag-rule of Rome. Is it any wonder to +you that the average sister dies between the ages of twenty-one +and thirty-five years, when they are compelled to live +in this manner and endure the terrible practices I have +mentioned in this chapter?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER VI.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">How I Educated Myself.</span></h3> + +<p><span class="smcap">I Become Superintendent of the Third Floor at St. +Vincent's.</span></p> + + +<p>In the order of the Sisters of Charity of Providence, +the rules restrict the members to certain reading. The books +we were allowed to read were those on the Roman Catholic +religious practices, such as "Christian Perfection" by the +Jesuit, Alphonsus Rodriguez, a set of books on "Meditation" +by St. Ignatius, also a Jesuit, a book on the "Conferences +of St. Vincent de Paul," a prayer book, a manual +of community prayers, and a book of rule. If a sister +should wish to read any other books, outside of a few +like these I have named, she must have permission from +her superior, even to the reading of "The Lives of the +Saints."</p> + +<p>The reading of secular, or profane, as it is called, books +are never allowed under any conditions. No magazines, +newspapers or periodicals are they ever allowed to read. +If there happened to be an article in some religious magazine +or paper that it was decided to let the sisters read, +it was cut out and handed to them, hereby having permission +to read it. Think of the terrible darkness the poor girls<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span> +are kept in, with nothing to develop their mental faculties, +nothing to read except the few chosen books, and when +you have read one you have read all, and this over and +over again, year in and year out.</p> + +<p>When I came to St. Vincent's Hospital, I had been in the +order about twelve years. Twelve years of almost silence; +twelve years of Latin prayers; twelve years of communion +and confession; twelve years of Roman convent-slavery; +twelve years of retrogression.</p> + +<p>I found myself almost lost as to how to talk intelligibly +to the doctors and patients. My vocabulary was certainly +very limited. I felt the grave necessity of doing something +to aid me in my work. But how? That was the great +question in my mind for some time. I had been taught +that God would punish me if I dared to read anything +except what I was allowed. And, believe me, even twelve +years' experience in the convent had changed my views of +Romanism but very little, if any.</p> + +<p>Finally, one day while on the daily routine, a newspaper +came to my notice, and I dared to read just one line. I +waited a day or two to see if God would punish me. Then, +when nothing extraordinary happened, I dared to read a +few lines more, and I waited a few days again to see what +God would do.</p> + +<p>At last the opportunity came. In one of the rooms I +found a book, by the name of "At the Mercy of Tiberius." +I dared to read it, and oh, how I enjoyed that novel. It +was the first book of that nature, profane reading, that I +had ever read. But trouble was brewing. Some sister had +seen me reading, and although she did not know exactly +what it was, she knew that it was not a religious book, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span> +she reported me to the superior. When the superior asked +me about it, I told her I had been reading a book, where +it could be found and offered to go and get it for her. But +I had her "bluffed" and she told me to never mind.</p> + +<p>It took me about six months to read this first book, as +I had to steal away and read for only a few minutes at a +time. Where do you suppose I went to do this un-Roman, +"un-Christian" act of endeavoring to enlighten my mind? +In dark closets, bath-rooms, and in fact any place I could +secret myself, so I would not be seen by some of the other +sisters. For it would mean a reprimand and very often +a penance, and the sister thus charged with having broken +this point of the "holy" rules, is held under suspicion.</p> + +<p>For some time after this it was a problem to my mind +as to how I was to obtain other reading. In time I made +friends among those who came to the hospital, and very +often these good people, mostly Protestant or non-Catholic, +would present me with some little token, showing their +appreciation of the kindness shown them, as is done to +most sisters. Instead of accepting money or other gifts, +which by rule had to be turned over to the superior, I would +ask them to give me some book, generally leaving the nature +of it to their discretion, if I thought I could trust them. +Then I would warn them to be very careful when they gave +it to me that no sister saw them do so, as it would mean +trouble for me.</p> + +<p>In this manner I received much good reading, books that +were very instructive. When a book was too large to carry +around in my big pockets, I would cut or tear off a piece +of it, and throw the remaining portion on some old, dusty +cupboard in the attic, until I had read the piece torn off, +then get a small ladder or box and tear off another piece,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span> +and so on until I had finished reading the entire book. One +good friend gave me a small dictionary, which was a great +help to me. Another gave me a book of word study, which +I covered with a prayer-book cover and studied in chapel. +This was a case of "Johnny Morgan wasn't here."</p> + +<p>By stealing, thieving and lying, so to speak, in this +manner I read and studied for a great many years, and I +credit my final escape from darkness and ignorance largely +to the fact that I had independence enough to read and +friends kind enough to give me these books.</p> + +<p>During the summer of 1899, I was appointed to the +superintendency of the third floor of St. Vincent's Hospital. +In this position, which I held for twelve years, I found a +few more minutes occasionally to read, and to exercise the +little independence I possessed. The result, the more I +read, the more independent I became, and this was one of +the grave charges brought against me when I was at last +transferred, or, I might say, dragged from Portland.</p> + +<p>One of the great responsibilities of the office of superintendent +was the caring of the priest's apartment which +was on my floor. There was the chaplain of the hospital +who resided in this apartment, and he nearly always had +from one to four "wafer God manufacturers" visiting him, +and you may be sure it was not a small care to see that +these "gentlemen" had everything of the best, principally in +the dining-room. I always had to take particular care to +see that there was plenty of cream for their tables when +possibly some of the patients had to do without or take +skimmed milk, and many times the over supply would sour +before it could be used. I just mention cream, but it was +the same about many other things, it was always the very +best of everything obtainable—cigars and liquors included.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span> +Yes, I have carried many bottles of wine to these priests, +as well as carrying baskets of empty bottles down the back +stairs, that had been emptied by these "holy celibate men +of God." A large refrigerator was kept especially for this +apartment with a large padlock on the door. It might +have contaminated these "holy men of God" if their food +had happened to have been mixed with that of a wicked +secular, you know.</p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_066.png" width="700" height="373" alt="St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Oregon, Where I Served Eighteen Years of My +Sisterhood Life." title="" /> +<p class="caption">St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Oregon, Where I Served Eighteen Years of My +Sisterhood Life.</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span></p> + +<p>Another very interesting feature of this new office was +the care I had to give sick priests. There was nearly always +some priest occupying a private room on my floor, sometimes +sick, as they are only human and susceptible to the +same ills as others, but many times on "sick leave," in other +words, just plain drunk. Many times they would stay with +us a month at a time, and once I remember, one made a +nice long stay of a year, or more, but he was not drunk. +I had to help these "gentlemen" many times, when they +were much more able to help themselves than I was. But +I was a woman, "a spouse of Christ," and these so-called +men were the "representatives of Christ," and that made +the difference.</p> + +<p>Soon after I had received the appointment of officer of +the third floor there were many complaints from the patients +and physicians about the food and the manner in which it +was prepared. So it was decided that some of the sisters +should go to a cooking school which was being conducted +by a woman by the name of Miss Porter, in the Exposition +Building, Nineteenth and Washington Streets. I happened +to be one of the chosen number, and we took a series of +twelve lessons, principally on preparing dainty dishes such +as could be used for the sick.</p> + +<p>After I had completed this course, I was appointed to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span> +teach cooking to the nurses in the training school and the +young sisters in addition to my other duties. I conducted +this class from two to three-thirty in the afternoon.</p> + +<p>Our rules prescribe that the hour from two to three be +observed by profound silence, and also that no sister shall +partake of any food outside of the dining-room without +special permission from the superior. During the teaching +of this class on cooking, I was compelled to talk to the +sisters, and it was also quite necessary that they should +talk to me, in order that they could get the proper instruction. +When they would cook some dish I would request +them to taste it, that they might judge for themselves as +to the seasoning. These were serious breaks of the rules, +and it caused trouble for me after I had been instructing +the class about six weeks.</p> + +<p>My young sister pupils plotted with the superior to cause +my removal, and wrote to the Mother Provincial, Sister +Mary Theresa, who was at that time in Oakland, California, +instituting a new house of the order. Sister Mary Theresa +did not write to me about the matter, but took it up with +my superior, who came to me and said that there was so +much complaint about me causing the sisters to break the +rule that she would have to change me. She was going +to take the superintendency of the third floor away from me +and send me to the basement to the fruit cannery to teach +cooking. I told her that I could not do that. I had learned +how to cook because she had wanted me to, and that if I +was going to teach it, I was going to teach it right; and +if she would delegate some other sister, I would teach her +all I knew about cooking and I would be through with it. +But she did not want me to do that, she wanted me to +keep the class.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span></p> + +<p>I had done the very best I could with the class, and all +this trouble was caused, not because I was unsuccessful, +but because the sisters broke some of the rules of the order, +which could not be avoided if they wished to learn. The +action of the superior had caused me much distress, both +of heart and mind, and with the assistance of two stewards +of my floor, I placed all the cooking utensils and supplies +of the school in a large box and sent it to the superior's +room. For weeks she tried to prevail upon me to take the +school back, but I refused to have anything more to do +with it.</p> + +<p>This instance may not be very interesting to my readers, +but I relate it to show how little petty happenings cause so +very much trouble, and very often serious trouble for the +poor girls in these institutions. There are many more +instances of this nature I could relate, but I do not care +to burden you with them. My action in this little matter +caused me to be looked upon with great suspicion and a +certain amount of contempt from the other sisters. It was +this sort of treatment that caused me to write notes of the +cruelties I, with other sisters, had to endure. I expected +to give these notes to some trust-worthy friend to read after +my death, but for some unknown reason I kept them and +have them at the present time.</p> + +<p>About this time, also, I had a class of about twenty +young sisters to whom I taught what nursing I had acquired, +principally from experience. This was soon abandoned, +for the reason that it interfered with evening prayer and +retirement at nine o'clock, the only time that could be +found during the day to hold the class.</p> + +<p>Of all the superstitious and pagan practices that enforces +the vow of obedience, is the traditional exercise of penances<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span> +or penalties. The most inhuman, unjust, humiliating and +very often torturing punishments are imposed upon the +sisters for breaking any of the many childish rules—rules +that just as really and truly bind the poor victim as though +she was a criminal in the penitentiary.</p> + +<p>A sister is only human. The "holy" black garb she wears +does not change her. She is subject to the same sorrows, +the same joys, the same love, the same hate, the same +humility, the same pain as you. But here in these hellish, +soul-destroying institutions, walled high "to keep the +Protestants out," they say, there is a system in vogue that +holds women in servitude—yes, slavery—and for failing to +heed the "voice of God," which is the voice of the priest, +or superior, or the toll of the religious bell, or the observance +of the book of rule, there is a penalty imposed, penalties +such as will torture or humiliate the poor subject.</p> + +<p>Some of the torturing penances are the wearing of the +armlet—a chain with little prongs on it to prick the flesh; +the scourging of the bare body with the "discipline" or +cat-o'-nine-tails—constructed of heavy, knotted cord; kneeling +and praying with arms extended in the shape of a cross; +and the wearing of the chastity cord—constructed of heavy, +knotted cord. This practice ties up our virtues and keeps +us chaste and pure.</p> + +<p>Some of the humiliating penances are the kissing of the +floor many times a day, kissing the feet of our companions, +fasting, silence, eating off the floor, and many other little, +petty practices and self-denials too numerous to mention.</p> + +<p>Think of it, a system here in free, Protestant America, +in this day of advanced civilization, holding women in +subjection and demanding practices of this nature!<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span></p> + +<p>To illustrate the teaching of this system in regard to +penances, I wish to quote from "St. Rita's Prayer Book," +compiled by Rev. Chas. Ferina, D.D., and this publication +has the imprimatur cross of John M. Farley, then Archbishop +elect of New York. On pages 35-36: "She (St. Rita) +renounced her property in favor of the poor, renounced +every earthly tie to devote herself entirely to austere penance. +She professed to have no compassion for her body. +She scourged herself thrice every day, the first time being +the longest and the instrument composed of little iron chains. +Vigils, hair-shirt, the discipline, and rigid fasts were the +arms used to afflict her body, knowing that penance is the +only means of expiation and salvation for fallen man, although +our material age would utterly ignore it. In changing +her costume Rita had no need to change her habits, for, +as we have seen, as a girl, a wife and widow, she had ever +led a stainless life. Her aim now was to attain the height +of perfection. But amidst her penances, she had the +sweetest consolations; and during her lengthy prayers, her +fervent colloquies with God, her daily and nightly meditations +on the passions of our Lord Jesus Christ, rapt in +her Creator, her soul totally absorbed in Him and almost +detached from her body, experienced heavenly delights."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER VII.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Sacrament of Penance—Mass and Communion—Extreme +Unction—Indulgences—Annual Retreat.</span></h3> + + +<p>I have previously mentioned that I was compelled by +rule to go to confession every eight days. I wish to comment +on this Sacrament of Penance, as confession is called, +and some of the other practices and ceremonies of the +Roman Catholic religion.</p> + +<p>Of all the practices that holds adherents to the Roman +Catholic system, the telling of the many faults to the so-called +mediator between God and man—the priest—stands +paramount. Why not? Roman Catholics are raised to +think and believe that by confessing their sins to the man +representative of Christ in the confessional and receiving +absolution, God has also forgiven them. God's Word says +in 1st Timothy, second chapter, fifth verse, "For there is +one God, and one mediator between God and man, the +man Christ Jesus." Not any representative of Christ, but +Christ Himself.</p> + +<p>The confessional box is a trap for the convent, and +after the poor girls are once there they are shackled more +than ever in the faith of the religion by the priest in the +confessional. The girls abandon themselves, body, heart<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span> +and soul, to the instructions and directions of this ungentlemanly +man—for no true gentleman would ever ask the +dirty, filthy, indecent questions in public or private that +these men ask many of the girls and women in this so-called +holy private place, the confessional—this man, whom we, +as sisters and Roman Catholics look to as the mediator +between us and God, often in the form of a drunken man. +Yes, I have known not a few, and have waited on them +in my work at the hospital for a great many years, and I +cannot call to my mind one of these "holy men of God" +who did not partake of the best liquors obtainable, and +I have had to protect more than one from the people there +so there would be no scandal.</p> + +<p>Then to these liquor-soaked priests I was forced to turn +and kneel to confess my sins, to lay bare the innermost +thoughts of my soul and most sensitive feelings of the heart +and then submit to the most humiliating, shameful questions—so +shameful and degrading that I am not permitted +to print them or to repeat them.</p> + +<p>The priest is the sister's only confident—she must talk +to him on subjects that she would not tell her mother. He +is to her what Christ would be if He would come from +Heaven and sit there with her. He is her justifier, as she +is absolutely in his wily meshes and victimized in his hellish +power—for nothing less than hell on earth is the confessional +to sisters. It is the destroyer of womanly purity, +womanly refinement—destroying the higher instincts and +ennobling qualities. A sister does not talk in the confessional +of what is best and noblest in her, but is racking her +brain all week preparing and gathering everything that is +mean, low, degrading, contemptible—digging up secret +things to tell and talk about to the priest. The thought of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span> +having to stoop and grovel so low and worm-like is sickening, +not only soul sickening, but often agonizing physically +to the extreme, in the act of ejecting and getting rid of a +vast amount of much imaginary wrong and scruples. It +keeps the mind poisoned and enslaved in the powers of +darkness, busily endeavoring to become sanctified on the +mistaken road of pagan degradation, dispair and hell.</p> + +<p>A form of beginning and finishing confession. This is +precisely the same form I used all my life in the church of +Rome, but I will copy from Deharbe's Catechism, translated +from the German by a Father of the Society of Jesus, +of the Province of Missouri, published by Benziger Brothers, +Printers to the Holy Apostolic See, and with the Imprimatur +of John Card. McCloskey, then Archbishop of +New York. Page 110, question 55:</p> + +<p>"How do you begin Confession?</p> + +<p>"Having knelt down, I make the sign of the cross and +say: 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I confess to +Almighty God, and to you, Father, in His stead, that since +my last confession, which was ... I have committed +the following sins.' (Here I confess my sins.)"</p> + +<p>Question 56. "How do you conclude your confession?</p> + +<p>"I conclude by saying, 'For these and all my other (P. +III) sins which I cannot at present call to mind, and also +for the sins of my past life, especially for ... I +am heartily sorry. I most humbly ask pardon of God, and +penance and absolution of you, my Ghostly Father.'"</p> + +<p>Question 57. "What must you do then?</p> + +<p>"I must listen with attention to the advice which my +Confessor may think proper to give me, and to the Penance<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span> +he enjoins; and whilst he gives me absolution I must excite +my heart to true sorrow."</p> + +<p>Now, if the priest is good and kind enough to say the +magic words, "I absolve the, etc." and absolve the penitent, +he is just as pure and free from sin, according to the +Roman Catholic belief, as if he had submitted to baptism, +and he can go and sin again, so long as he will return to +the priest for absolution.</p> + +<p>Jeremiah J. Crowley, in his book, "Romanism—A +Menace to the Nation," tells of the "moral theology" which +the priests have to study to become priests, and which I +think will interest my readers. Mr. Crowley was a priest +in the church of Rome for twenty years.</p> + +<p>Page 74. "Moral Theology of the Roman Catholic +Church, printed in Latin, a dead language, containing instructions +for auricular confession, is so viciously obscene +that it could not be transmitted through the mails were it +printed in a living language; neither would priests and +bishops dare to propound said obscene matter in the form +of questions to female penitents if their fathers, husbands +and brothers were cognizant of the satanic evils lurking +therein; in fact, they would cause the suppression of auricular +confession by penal enactment.</p> + +<p>* * * Confessors search the secrets of the home, and +so are worshiped there, and feared for what they know.</p> + +<p>(Page 76.) "If it is the purpose of state or government +to prevent crime and eradicate its causes, the whole +of this diabolical system called the Confessional, which is +known to worm out the secrets of families, the weaknesses +of public men, and thereby get them under control—to +either silence them or make them active agents in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span> +Roman Catholic cause—above all, the debauching of maids +and matrons by means of vile interrogatories prescribed +by Liguori, and sanctioned by the Church—should be abrogated +by a national law in every civilized country on the +globe."</p> + +<p>While I was a novice, the Master of Novices in his +religious instructions to the novices, told us that the worst +Catholic stood a better chance of saving his soul than the +best Protestant, because the Catholic, no matter how many +or grievous the sins he might commit, could confess them +to the priest and be forgiven; while the Protestant, though +he might be a very good man, had no priest to confess his +sins to, and cannot be forgiven. Therefore, he dies in sin, +as every man is sinful, and is lost, for the Scripture says, +"Nothing defiled can enter Heaven."</p> + +<p>Three things are necessary for absolution—contrition, +confession and penance. Of course, the priest pronounces +the words of absolution before the penance is performed, +but the remission of the sins confessed is not complete +until the penance is performed. Every sin must be confessed +to the priest, the most secret and grievous, or there +can be no remission, according to the Roman Catholic +teaching.</p> + +<p>With these teachings and this papal practice of confession +you can readily understand how this one sacrament +of the Roman Catholic Church, more than any other binds +the people to it. Let me say as Mr. Crowley said to the +American brothers, husbands and fathers who have sisters, +wives and daughters being entrapped in this terror of all +terrors, the confessional—get educated on this subject. And +let me say that when you do, if there is any manhood in +you, the confessional in the Roman Catholic Church will +cease.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span></p> + +<p>"Mass is the perpetual sacrifice of the New Law, in +which Christ offers Himself in an unbloody manner, as +He once offered Himself in a bloody manner on the Cross." +(Deharbe's Catechism, page 98.)</p> + +<p>To hear mass, we are witnessing in a sort of "mummyfied" +manner, a show at the altar, which is lighted with +candles, decorated with flowers, costly images of the Blessed +Virgin Mary and Saints, holy pictures, relics of the saints, +gold or silver ciboriums and ostensoriums, and many other +articles of altar and sanctuary use too many to enumerate.</p> + +<p>During this or other ceremonies, the priest is dressed +in a long oriental robe covered with a kimona-style surplice—which +is often nearly all costly lace—chasuble, cope, +maniple, stole, mitre, and other gaudy-colored, gold-fringed, +embroidered pieces of apparel.</p> + +<p>The mass must be recited in Latin. The priest at the +altar with his back to the congregation, recites Latin prayers +for from one-half to three-quarters of an hour. During +these prayers the act of "transubstantiation" takes place. +That is, the changing of the wine and bread into the actual +body, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ. That is the actual +belief of the Roman Catholic adherents, as in the creed of +Pope Pius V, it says, "I profess, likewise, that in the Mass +there is offered to God a true, proper and propitiatary +sacrifice for the living and the dead; and that in the most +holy sacrament of the Eucharist there is truly, really, and +substantially the Body and Blood, together with the soul +and divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ; and that there is +made a conversion of the whole substance of the bread +into the Body, and of the whole substance of the wine into +the Blood; which conversion the Catholic Church calleth +Transubstantiation. I also confess that under either kind<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span> +alone Christ is received whole and entire, and a true sacrament." +(Chamber's Ency., Collier 1890, under Roman +Catholic Church.)</p> + +<p>To receive communion, the sisters in the convents where +I have been, marched to the altar by twos, knelt and received +the "body of Christ," but never the "blood." No one is +allowed any of the wine, or "blood," except the priest or +"substitute Christ."</p> + +<p>If, during this ceremony, a crumb of the "body of +Christ" should happen to drop on the communion cloth, +that spot must be marked, and after the ceremony is completed, +the priest sprinkles some "holy water" on the spot, +says a few Latin words, makes a few signs with his "holy +hands," then it is purified, and whatever is used in this +purification is burned, or sometimes washed. The Corporal, +which is a piece of linen used for handling the "body and +blood of Christ" in the mass, must always be washed or +rinsed by the priest before it goes to the laundry, because +the sisters who do the work in the laundries have not "holy +hands," and the priest's fingers have been consecrated and +are therefore "holy."</p> + +<p>In speaking on transubstantiation, William Cathcart, in +his book, "The Papal System," says (pages 170-171), "The +priests scorn the idea that there could be any figure in +the declaration: 'This is my body,' but when Paul says: +'For as often as you shall eat and <i>drink the chalice</i>,' they +must grant that it is not the <i>chalice</i> but its <i>contents</i> that +are to be drunk. If it is not a figurative expression, the +priests of Rome should swallow the cup as well as the +contents. The words, 'I am the vine, I am the door,' are +literal if the expression is not figurative, 'This is my body.' +No community would suffer more than the Catholic Church<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span> +from a non-figurative interpretation of every scripture +word. In the Catholic New Testament, Matt. xvi. 22, 23, +it is said: 'And Peter taking him began to rebuke him, +saying: 'Lord, be it far from thee, this shall not be unto +thee'; who turning said to Peter: 'GO BEHIND ME, +SATAN, THOU ART A SCANDAL UNTO ME, because +thou savourest not the things that are of God, but the things +that are of men.' If the words, 'This is my body,' must be +taken literally, we would mildly insist that Christ's address +to Peter shall be taken literally too when He said to him: +'Go behind me, Satan, thou art a scandal unto me.' According +to that interpretation, Peter is the chief of devils, +and the Church of Rome, built on Simon, is founded on +Beelzebub himself. A literal interpretation of the words, +'This is my body,' leads to sacred cannibalism; and of the +saying in Matt. xvi. 22, 23, makes Peter the devil, and +Lucifer the foundation of the Papal Church. A figurative +view of both passages is the true one."</p> + +<p>"Extreme Unction is a Sacrament, in which by the +annointing with holy oil and by the prayers of the priest, +the sick receive the grace of God, for the good of their +souls, and often also of their bodies." (Deharbe's Catechism, +Page 114.)</p> + +<p>Extreme Unction is commonly known as the Last Sacrament +of the Roman Catholic Church. It is administered +only when there is danger of death.</p> + +<p>I often had to prepare the dying for this sacrament. +The articles used were a crucifix, holy water, lighted candles, +a piece of bread, and five "wads" of absorbing cotton. The +priest would come, unwrap his silk bag containing the holy +oil (chrism), dip the cotton in the holy oil and apply to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span> +the parts of the body where the five senses are located—the +forehead, to cleanse the mind of the sins of thought; +the eyes, for the sins committed by the sight; the mouth, +for the sins of speech; the ears, for the sins of hearing; +and the hands and feet, for the sins of feeling. The last +members of the poor suffering, I often had a difficult time +to get handy for the priest to apply his chrism, particularily +in paralysis or accident cases. During all the ceremony +the priest is reciting Latin prayers.</p> + +<p>The piece of bread is for the priest to cleanse his fingers +after the ceremony. It must be destroyed, together with +the cotton used, by fire so that no particle of the holy oil +will be desecrated.</p> + +<p>This sacrament is supposed to help the soul of the person +receiving it to heaven, but it does not keep him from the +torments of purgatory.</p> + +<p>Before a person is entitled or can accept this sacrament +he must be baptized in the Roman Catholic Church. The +sisters in the hospital must do all in their power to convert +Protestants to the Roman Catholic faith before death. I +was instructed that I was not a secular nurse, but a religious +and Sister of Charity, and as such it was my duty to convert +all Protestants and non-Catholics possible.</p> + +<p>I remember one very interesting case of this kind that +happened soon after I went to St. Vincent's Hospital. My +officer, Sister Mary Bonsecours, requested me to go with +her to a room occupied by a Methodist lady who was dying, +and she would show me how to make converts. In addressing +the lady, among other things, she said that the Roman +Catholic Church was the only true church. All who were +not baptized in it would not be saved and would surely +never see God. The lady simply remarked that she was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span> +satisfied with her religion. About the third time I accompanied +the sister to the lady's room, she was passing into +the last agony, and the sister leaned over her and shouted +into her ear that her soul was going to hell forever for not +being a Roman Catholic. That is the manner in which many +of the sisters endeavor to obtain the patient's consent for +baptism into the Roman Catholic Church, and if they are +yet rational, they are entitled to the last sacrament, Extreme +Unction.</p> + +<p>A very convenient practice for the Roman Catholic +adherents is that of gaining Indulgences.</p> + +<p>"An Indulgence is a remission of the temporal punishment +due to our sins, which the church grants outside of +the Sacrament of Penance." (Deharbe's Catechism, Page +112.)</p> + +<p>"Can Indulgences be applied also to the Souls in Purgatory?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, all those which the Pope has declared to be applicable +to them." (Deharbe's Catechism, Page 113.)</p> + +<p>"Temporal punishment due to our sins" is that which +we have to suffer here on earth or in purgatory. This +includes the penance imposed upon the penitent by the +priest after confession. If the penitent is truly contrite for +his crime, the priest has the privilege to relax the penance +and grant indulgence, that is, he cannot be granted indulgence +unless he is in a "state of grace," which is after +having confessed and having been absolved, and fulfilled +the requirements of the absolution.</p> + +<p>One of the means of gaining indulgences for the sisters +was the saying of short prayers, for each one said, so +many days indulgence being gained. For instance, for +saying:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span></p> + +<p>"My Jesus, mercy! Mary, help!" 200 days' indulgence.</p> + +<p>"Sweet Heart of Jesus, be my love." 300 days' indulgence.</p> + +<p>"Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation." 300 days' +indulgence.</p> + +<p>If we should have some friend or relative dead whom +we thought was in purgatory, we could offer these prayers, +with many others, for them and in that manner shorten +their days of torment in that middle region, as well as +shorten our own sufferings there.</p> + +<p>Once each year every sister is required to spend eight +days in what is called "annual retreat." That is, eight +days' religious exercises and spiritual instructions by a +priest—generally a Jesuit priest in the order I was a member +of—conferences, the performance of penances, etc.</p> + +<p>The priest gives five spiritual instructions each day of +this retreat, each one lasting about an hour. We must keep +absolute silence during these eight days, except to speak +to the Mother Provincial on our shortcomings and to the +priest in confession. At this confession the poor sister is +supposed to tell all the wrongs and sins committed during +the past year, and hours are spent in preparing and waiting, +kneeling outside the confessional box, crouching in fear +and trembling, hoping and praying that she may escape +some of the indignities of this terrible exercise.</p> + +<p>At these "retreats" the sisters were allowed to take +notes of the spiritual instructions, and I will copy from +some of the notes I took. These instructions were given +by "Father" McGuckin at the Mother House at Vancouver, +Washington, on the subject of "Poverty."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span></p> + +<p>"It is not according to the spirit of poverty if we think +we must require a remedy for every little ache or suffering +or pain. We must bear those things with Christian fortitude +without a remedy or alleviation. We must not make a +superfluous use of things, even of things we are allowed +to have for our use of necessity. If we have things that +we are attached to, we should take them to the superior, +even if she should make us take them back, then we have +made the sacrifice, and God accepts the will for the deed.</p> + +<p>"Why deprive ourselves of that merit? There is nothing +small in regard to poverty, even to a piece of thread. We +cannot be too scrupulous in detaching ourselves from the +world and ourselves.</p> + +<p>"The things of the community do not belong to us and +we have no right to anything at all nor to dispose of anything—everything +belongs to God and should be used as +such and taken care of just the same as the sacred vestments. +We have no right to make any agreements with +any person in the world, where we, personally, would have +any responsibility, for we have nothing and it would be +shifting the responsibility upon the community.</p> + +<p>"We cannot accept a present for ourselves without permission, +but we can and ought, whenever no condition is +expressed, with the intention to give it to the superior to +dispose of for the congregation. We must never refuse an +offer when it is for the congregation. It is our duty to +accept and let that person do his good work. Every congregation +is generally or always in need of means to perform +good works. Let everybody contribute to good.</p> + +<p>"We must do our work with anxiety or solicitude, doing +our best. Cast your care on the Lord and He will take +care of you."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span></p> + +<p>In this chapter I have endeavored to explain some of the +many practices and ceremonies of the Roman Catholic system, +as I have found that there are very few Protestants +who understand the import of these in the Roman Catholic +religion.</p> + +<p>The Roman Catholic definition for "ceremonies of the +Church," is "Certain significant signs and actions, ordained +by the Church for the celebration of the Divine Service." +(Deharbe's Catechism, Page 127.) So you see that these +various ceremonies must be observed by the Roman +Catholics because the church says so, not that Christ instituted +any such practices while He was here. And, whenever +the <i>Church</i> wishes, she can add a few more to her +already long list of ceremonies, and the Roman Catholic +must believe in it and practice it, or he cannot continue to +be Roman Catholic.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER VIII.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">My Trip to the General Mother House.</span></h3> + + +<p>The sisters of the order to which I belonged were given +a visit to the Mother House in Montreal, Canada, once +during their sisterhood life, providing they could outlive +their turn, as the older sisters came first. This was a +great privilege for the sisters, an opportunity to drink deep +in their souls the spirit of "holiness" emanating from the +saintly sisters who had been spiritually formed and perfected +in conventual practices—the Mother Foundresses of +the Order.</p> + +<p>I will now tell you how I received this privilege.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>My father died in 1896, and when his estate was settled +I received $500.00 in cash. It was understood long before +this between the sisters and myself that when he died, if I +would receive anything from him, I would pay my dowry +of $300.00 to the community. Out of the $500.00 I received +from him, I paid my promised $300.00 to the community, +and placed the remaining $200.00 on deposit at St. Vincent's +Hospital for safe keeping, as I had promised it to the Abbott +of Mt. Angel College for the education of a nephew of +mine.</p> + +<p>While this money was on deposit at the hospital, the +Superior General, Mother Antoinette, tried to induce me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span> +to take my trip to the Mother House. There were several +sisters who wanted the office I filled at that time, superintendent +of the third floor, and they also thought it was +a good time for me to go on this trip. I could see that it +was the $200.00 and my office they were after, so I refused +to take the trip at that time.</p> + +<p>A few years later, 1907, Sister Rita and myself decided +it was then time for us to go to the Mother House, so we +began to plan in order that we would not be refused when +we asked permission of the Superior General, Mother +Antoinette.</p> + +<p>Sister Rita had been at the hospital all the years I had +been there, and we had become very friendly and chummy—that +is, as friendly and chummy as sisters can be. We +had agreed not to make trouble for each other by telling +tales to the superior, and this agreement made it possible +for us to come together on some common, sisterly interests +with just a little less suspicion. So, on account of this +friendly feeling, and because we could talk on a few subjects +other than the <i>Sainte Vierge</i> and miraculous medals, we +were determined to take the trip together.</p> + +<p>We made our desire known to one of the leading doctors +of St. Vincent's Hospital, whose name I purposely withhold, +and he promised to see the officials of the transportation +companies, and arrange, if possible, for our transportation. +He returned with a very favorable report, and then +we asked Mother Antoinette for the permission to go to +Montreal, which was granted. Our doctor friend told us +that we should visit New York while in the East, and asked +us if we would go if he would get transportation. We +told him we certainly would if we could get the consent of +the Superior General. He informed us a little later that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span> +arrangements had been made for the trip to New York. +He then suggested that we should return by way of the +South, but we feared that we could not get the consent of +the officer of the order. Mother Antoinette did not care +about giving us the permission to take the trip to New York +and through the South, but she knew that the transportation +had been arranged, and that Sister Rita and myself were +popular with the patients and doctors at the hospital, so +she consented, fearing that if she did otherwise it would +injure the interests of the institution with the business people +and doctors of Portland, who were our friends.</p> + +<p>As soon as our many friends learned of our plans to +go East, they very readily came to our rescue with money +for our berths, meals and other expenses while stopping +at the various cities we expected to visit. One very good +friend of Sister Rita's gave her a check of $200.00. She +also had some money from her relatives and friends. I +had received some money from relatives and from my +friends, and this, together with some "Johnny Morgan" +money made several hundred dollars we had between us. +I had heard of sisters taking trips East with the so-called +"Johnny Morgan" money, and I had also seen one of the +superiors of St. Vincent's, Sister Frederick, send presents +which had been given to me and been turned over to her +by me as our rule prescribes, to her people in Canada, so +I decided to use my "Johnny Morgan" teaching now, and +I found it very handy. A nurse friend who had trained at +St. Vincent's presented each of us with a very fine Japanese +suitcase, so we were well equipped for our journey.</p> + +<p>I had been sick for a long time before this, several times +sick enough to die, and Sister Rita told me that she was +almost afraid to go with me for fear that she would have +to bury me on the way. I told her not to worry about me;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span> +that if I died to see that I was put under ground, and say, +"Good-bye, Lucretia," and go on with the journey.</p> + +<p>On the evening of June third, 1907, we were prepared +to start and were met by a few friends at the Union Depot, +who presented us with dainty lunch baskets with enough +good things to eat until we arrived at Chicago, our first +stop.</p> + +<p>We were met at Chicago by some of my relatives, Mr. +and Mrs. Gorman, who entertained us during our stay of +ten days. I had a relative in the Notre Dame Convent, +whom I visited while there. Her sister, a married woman, +asked me if I could do anything for her sister's (the nun) +sickness, which I found to be nervousness. I told her the +best thing to do for her was to take her out of the convent +and let her live like other people live.</p> + +<p>The next stop was the Mother House, Montreal, Canada. +This building was an immense, dark stone structure, six +stories in height, a sure enough penitentiary-looking Roman +fortification. The walls of this enormous building encloses +a large novitiate, which has about one hundred novices most +of the time; large dormitories for the sisters, some of them +fitted to accommodate forty, and dark except when lighted +by artificial light; a printing plant operated by the sisters, +used to print the books and other literature for the many +houses of the order; sewing rooms, where clothes are made +for the novices in the novitiate and other inmates of the +Mother House; a department where the sisters make slippers +for the inmates of the house; a chapel, community room, +large kitchens, dining-rooms for the chaplain and sisters, +bakeries, an infirmary and operating room, and in fact a +department for nearly everything used for the sisters in +this institution.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_090.png" width="700" height="429" alt="Head Mother House of the Sisters of Charity of Providence, Montreal, Canada." title="" /> +<p class="caption">Head Mother House of the Sisters of Charity of Providence, Montreal, Canada.</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span></p> + +<p>Most of the professed sisters at this house are those +who have passed their years of usefulness in the work done +by the order, such as hospital work, teaching, orphanage, +etc., or are sickly sisters who cannot do the outside work. +There are always several hundred sisters at the Mother +House sent from the numerous houses of the order from +all over the country, many of which pass their few remaining +years in solitude.</p> + +<p>There are about six sisters who attend to the business +of this house, which is the head of all the different houses +of this particular order, and all reports must be made to +the head sister, who is called the Mother General.</p> + +<p>During our visit there, we were accompanied by two +of the holy Maison Mere (Mother House) nuns to an iron +vault, to gaze upon and venerate the fleshy heart of the +Bishop Founder of the order, Monseigneur Ignase Bourget, +which was there preserved in about two quarts of alcohol. +We were told by the accompanying sisters that every year +on Monseigneur Bourget's feast day, this heart turned to +its natural blood-color.</p> + +<p>This Bishop was the Christ representative who said to +the five foundress sisters who first came to the Northwest +to build prison convents here: "Go, my daughters! Fear +nothing—I send you in the name of the Sovereign Pontiff. +Multiply yourselves to the greater glory of God." (Nov. +1st, 1856.)</p> + +<p>We also had the privilege and honor of joining in a +novena prayer for the cure of a crippled girl. This novena +was offered to Mother Gamelin, a sister foundress of the +order, who had been dead since September 23d, 1851, and +who was now working miracles which was a final test to +prove she was worthy of canonization by the Mother<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span> +Church. It being time for our annual retreat, we were +obliged to listen to eight days of French preaching, confession, +prayer and silence in the Mother House.</p> + +<p>A large portion of the city of Montreal is now in the +hands of the Roman Catholic system—churches, convents, +parochial schools or other Roman institutions facing the +streets every few blocks. These portions of the city are +inhabited by the French Canadians mostly, and as a general +thing they have very large families and are poor, almost +to a degree of poverty. The church bleeds them of their +scanty earnings, then in the winter open soup houses in the +name of Charity. One of the sisters at the Mother House +told me that she had seen some of these people walk in +their bare feet in the snow to some of these "charitable +soup houses" to partake of the little bowl of soup that body +and soul might be kept together.</p> + +<p>The children in these families are nearly all raised in +the parochial schools and churches and know nothing but +the Romish teaching and that is the reason there are so +many French Canadian priests and sisters. The home and +family life of the people are so closely related to monastic +life that it cannot be called taking a step in life when the +boys and girls enter the convent, it is just continuing from +babyhood to the end of life in the drudgery of the nunneries.</p> + +<p>While at the Mother House, I was told that the French +Canadian people were fast loosing their faith and becoming +infidels, leading a life of worldliness and degradation. Who +is to blame for this condition? Surely not the poor people +who have been priest-ridden all these years. It is just the +same story you hear of every country where Rome has +had the control for any length of time.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span></p> + +<p>We visited the Hotel Dieu Nunnery where Maria Monk +had her terrible experiences as a black nun. The interior +of this convent indicated the truth of her description in her +book. In the hospital part there were a few rooms for +patients, but principally wards—the beds having curtains +around them. We witnessed a doctor making his daily sick +visit. He was accompanied by sisters all in black, except +a bit of the face and hands. These sisters would handle +the medicine and dressings which were kept in a cabinetlike +table, with nothing to protect them from the dust but +a curtain around the table. On top of these tables were +oratories, such as we had in the chapels, containing flowers, +statues, holy water fountains, etc. I asked what these +oratories were for and was told they were for the sick to +pray to for their cures.</p> + +<p>When we were ready to leave this institution, I asked +the sister that accompanied us through, if she would come +to the gate with us. She came to the threshold of the +door and stopped and said that the sisters were not allowed +to pass the door without special dispensation from the +Archbishop.</p> + +<p>In another Black Nunnery Convent we visited there +was a large ward, probably one hundred feet long and sixty +feet wide, filled with small, low beds, for the accommodation +of babies and children. I saw probably forty or fifty +children not older than six years. I asked the sister if the +sisters there were allowed to take care of babies of that +age, for I knew the sisters in my community were <i>not</i>, and +she told me that they were not; that they had nurse-girls +to take care of them and that there was a sister appointed +to oversee the work.</p> + +<p>We were taken to the basement of this institution and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span> +saw the private burial places of the "holy" Mother Foundress +of the order and several other sisters particularly +distinguished for great sanctity and "supernaturally gifted" +while living, as we were told. These burial places were +marked by a small, narrow board at one end, and a small +wooden cross, about a foot high at the other. The fourteen +stations of the cross were erected along the walls that +surrounded this burial ground. Special indulgences and +blessings were supposed to come to anyone praying in this +"holy" place. We were also told that anything that was +placed on the grave of the holy Mother, and remained there +for some time, became holy, and that if these articles were +kept and venerated, the holy person or saint would be the +means of special blessings to us. I was given a small sprig +of a flower made "holy" in this manner, and Sister Rita +and myself had a laugh over it. When I reached the street, +I discarded this holy relic.</p> + +<p>We spent four days visiting the Longue Pointe Insane +Asylum near Montreal. This asylum included seven magnificent +stone buildings, and had four hundred and twenty +acres of ground. At the time we were visiting, there were +two thousand inmates and two hundred sisters who attended +the sick. There were also a large number of uniformed men +to guard and attend the male patients. We were told that +the institution belonged to the government, but had been +turned over to the Sisters of Charity of Providence who +had the sole supervision of it. A great many sisters of the +order I belonged to, and other orders as well, who became +drunkards and with other ailments, as well as being insane, +are sent to this institution from all over the United States +and Canada.</p> + +<p>I will give you an example of how some of the sisters +go to this institution. A sister I knew very well at Van<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>couver, +Washington, after an eight-days' retreat, was found +in a closet by another sister, "sawing" on her neck with a +common, ordinary butcher-knife, and had almost succeeded +in putting an end to her troubles. When asked what she +was doing she just said, "Hell here or Hell hereafter, what +is the difference?" and kept on "sawing." Three older +sisters sewed and bandaged the wound and as soon as she +had recovered sufficiently to travel, was sent to this asylum +at Longue Pointe. And this sister was <i>not</i> insane but was +sick and needed a doctor and medicine, but in order to +kill the scandal, she was sent away so it would be forgotten.</p> + +<p>We availed ourselves of the opportunity and went on a +pilgrimage to St. Anne de Beaupre, Quebec, about one +hundred and sixty miles from Montreal on the St. Lawrence +River. There were about seven hundred people on the +steamer chartered for this pilgrimage. The steamer was +equipped with counters laden with small statues, pictures, +rosaries, images magnified and encased in pen-holders, +lockets and other cheap trinkets for the passengers to purchase +as souvenirs. After buying them we would take them +to the priest and have them blessed. About every two hours +during the entire pilgrimage, we were assembled by order +of the priest and made to say the rosary and other prayers.</p> + +<p>At eleven o'clock at night we arrived at Cape Holy +Sacrament. Here we were all requested to go ashore and +assemble in the church for a special benediction. Each +passenger was required to purchase a candle, just a simple +tallow candle, for which was charged fifteen cents. When +we were assembled in the church the priest blessed these +candles with some Latin prayers, and then turned his back +to us for about twenty minutes for some more Latin prayers. +After this "holy" benediction, which very few, if any of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span> +us, understood, we returned to the boat and continued our +journey.</p> + +<p>We arrived at the village of St. Anne de Beaupre about +seven o'clock in the morning and went direct to the wonderful +basilica of St. Anne de Beaupre, where we heard +mass and received the consecrated wafter-god before we +could have any breakfast.</p> + +<p>This basilica is a magnificent temple, probably six stories +in height, with two high spires, and wonderful chiming +bells. In the interior there is a large costly decorated +altar, and above this on either side are other altars. On +either side of the main auditorium are rows of installed +chapels, ten on each side, making twenty in all. Each of +these chapels has its own altar and is dedicated to some +saint and contains a life-size statue of that special saint.</p> + +<p>The statue of St. Anne which works the "miraculous +cures" is located about the centre of the basilica. It is +about twice the size of a man, and standing on an onyx +pillar about four feet high. The open hands are extended +a little from the body, and from them stream rays of gold, +representing the great richness of St. Anne's dispensing +power. It is to this statue that hundreds of sufferers from +all parts of Canada and this country travel every year in +search of a cure for their infirmities. There were on exhibition +hundreds and hundreds of crutches, canes, sticks +and supports for all kinds of infirmities hung on the walls +in the back of the church and on two immense pillars. +These were supposed to have been left there by people who +had been cured by this wonderful statue of St. Anne. +Then upon believing themselves cured of their ailment or +infirmity they would pay whatever sum of money they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span> +could afford, and that is the reason for such a magnificent +institution in this small village.</p> + +<p>On an elevation near the church was a small building +called the holy Sanctum. Leading to this building were +twelve steps, which, in order to reach the entrance of the +building, we had to ascend on our knees. The images and +statues in this building were most beautiful to behold—costly +shrines, life-sized statues of some of the martyred +saints, and our Lord, as represented in the tomb. The +fourteen stations of the cross were engraved in fine art +on the walls, magnificent paintings on the ceiling, such +as the Angelical Salutation of the Virgin Mary, and other +views emblematic of religion. These things were all very +interesting to look upon, but the more I tried to pray +and convince myself in my heart that this show was +religion, the more I found myself losing what little belief +I then had.</p> + +<p>On leaving this holy Sanctum, we passed a spring +which had been tapped to make a fountain. This was +known as St. Anne's fountain, and the water was supposed +to possess great curative qualities. I could not believe in +all this sort of "holy rot," it was getting too strong for +me, but Sister Rita took a small bottle of the water which +she carried throughout the remainder of the trip.</p> + +<p>Next we looked in the basement of the church, which +was fitted up very much like the basements of our large +department stores, where all kinds of "holy" articles were +for sale, everything from expensive statues and priest's +vestments to hundreds of devotional and superstitious trinkets +of the Romish belief.</p> + +<p>There were thousands of people from the surrounding<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span> +country at this village that day, as it was one of the +periodical pilgrimages to the St. Anne Basilica.</p> + +<p>Returning to Montreal we witnessed the grand processional +parade of the French Canadian people celebrating +their National holiday, the Feast of St. John the Baptist. +This celebration, instead of being a civil affair, seemed to +be more of an ecclesiastical show, with all the various +societies and clubs of the church parading in all the pomp +and glittering raiment characteristic of the Church of +Rome. It seemed to me that it was more for the aggrandizement +of the church than for the kindling of patriotism +in the hearts of the citizens.</p> + +<p>In Quebec, Joliette, and other cities and towns, we +could neither see nor hear anything of interest except the +greatness of the rich churches, the halls and pavilions for +the celebration of festival and saint's days and nunneries, +and to admire the self-sacrificing spirit of the French +Canadian people for the Romish superstition. Of course, +the beauties of nature were very grand at that time of the +year, and we enjoyed it to a certain extent, as much probably, +as a sister could.</p> + +<p>Thus seven weeks were spent in Canada and we both +rejoiced in shaking off the feeling of morbid depression +of Romish domination even though the trip was supposed +to be one of pleasure.</p> + +<p>In returning to the States, at St. Albans, on the state +line, the trainman announced "twenty minutes for lunch." +Sister Rita and myself hurriedly ordered some clam-chowder. +In a few minutes it was served, and we had +just begun to eat it, when we heard "all aboard." We had +a forty-cent laugh, minus the stew, and a run for the train.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span></p> + +<p>We stopped at Burlington, Vermont, at Niagara Falls, +Buffalo, Albany, New York City, Philadelphia, and Atlantic +City. At Atlantic City, Sister Rita took sick, so we went +to Washington, D. C., to the Providence Hospital which +was conducted by the Sisters of Charity whose Mother +House was still in France.</p> + +<p>In two weeks Sister Rita had sufficiently recovered to +continue our trip. We were determined to see what was +dearest to our hearts in all this trip—Washington's Tomb. +We went as close as we could to the tomb, knelt down and +touched the cement floor inside the vault with our hands, +in feeling of gratitude for liberty to our country, even +though we were bound to the government of the Pope of +Rome. For just after our visit to priest-ridden Montreal, +we were surely thankful for the liberty enjoyed in this +country, and we could see that it was this liberty that +saved us from a greater hell on earth than we were living.</p> + +<p>We visited Washington's Monument, the Soldiers Home, +the White House, the Capitol Building and various other +administration and government buildings.</p> + +<p>Our respects were paid to St. Peter's Cathedral, which +has become famous for the Pan-American Mass held every +Thanksgiving Day, and which has been attended by several +of our late Presidents.</p> + +<p>Near the city, we visited a new monastery which was +inhabited by French Monks. The most interesting part of +this place was that portion under the main building where +the basement ordinarily would have been. There was a +long, narrow zig-zag tunnel, or passage, about six feet +wide and probably seven or eight feet high. We were +escorted through about one hundred feet of this tunnel +and then the accompanying Monk told us that the re<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span>mainder +of it had not been finished, so we returned. Along +the sides of this tunnel were niches, in which were placed +statues, which were visible only by the aid of small burning +tapers. In fact, most of the tunnel was so dark that we +were unable to find our way without the aid of a light +carried by the Monk. It was a crude, "spooky-looking" +place, and both Sister Rita and myself gave a sigh of relief +when we were once again in the light of day and on top +of God's green foot-stool.</p> + +<p>We were informed by the priest that these tunnels +were to commemorate the Catacombs of Rome at the time +of the early Christians.</p> + +<p>We went to Baltimore, then crossed the Chesapeake +Bay to Norfolk, Virginia, where we visited the Jamestown +Exposition. The wonderful exhibits at this exposition, the +historic and other interesting places visited while there, were +a revelation of the achievements and advancements of this +great country, and the acquisition of much historical enlightenment. +We knew we were acquiring much knowledge +forbidden by the Pope of Rome, but we were greatly +pleased to think that we were defeating this self-styled +ruler of heaven, earth and hell.</p> + +<p>From Norfolk we went to New Orleans. For miles +the streets of this large city were lined with little, antiquated, +unkept homes, many of which seemed to be falling in ruin. +The question came to my mind, "Why do these people +not advance?" The answer was very apparent when we +saw the strangle-hold the Roman Church had on them, +and how they had built immense churches, monasteries +and convents for the glorification and fat-living of the +ecclesiastical gods. We visited the Jesuit church, which +was a structure magnificent and beautiful to behold—with +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span> its altars and ornamentations of bronze. At that +time this church was considered one of the most costly in +America.</p> + +<p>During our stay in New Orleans, we stopped at the +convent of the Dominican Sisters. In conversing with +some of these sisters, we learned how they recruited their +ranks. Some of the most trust-worthy sisters would be sent +to Ireland to talk the poor Irish girls into coming to this +country and living good, pure, holy lives as sisters. We +were also told that as a rule, these girls died very young, +and generally of consumption. We saw some of them, +and they surely looked like caged birds, sorry and discontented, +home-sick and care-worn. Previous to this, feelers +had been placed before the sisters in my community to see +what sisters were willing to go to Europe to get recruits +for the Sisters of Charity of Providence, and when I saw +these girls, once, no doubt, rosy cheeked and beautiful, but +now pale and care-worn from the unnatural, caged life they +were living, I made a vow that I would never be the means +of enticing any foreigners to leave their homes to become +slaves for the Roman Hierarchy.</p> + +<p>When we were in Burlington, Vermont, a sister-member +of the same order I belonged to, asked me to visit a relative +sister of hers in the Ursuline Convent in New Orleans. +On the twelfth day of September, 1907, we visited this +convent—a monstrous prison-looking institution, about five +hundred feet long. Within the entrance there was a hall +along the outer wall and on the other side of the hall there +were a number of small rooms, or "stalls," about eight by +ten feet in size. These stalls were separated from the hall +by iron bars, about one-half inch in diameter, running from +the floor to the ceiling, about two inches apart. I asked<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span> +to see the sister by name, and when she came we had to talk +to her from the other side of these bars. She extended her +hand through the bars to shake hands, and we kissed her +the best we could with that barrier between us. This was +a cloistered order, and yet there was a parochial school +within the enclosure. The children's parents and other +visitors were only permitted to see the children or sisters +as we had seen this sister. About five feet from the floor, +in the center of the grating of each of these stalls, was a +little door about fifteen inches square, with a padlock on +the inside. We were told these were used for articles +brought there that were too large to pass between the bars.</p> + +<p>We visited some of the large plantations for which the +South is famous, seeing the cotton plants in all their different +stages, from the flowering to the picking of the +cotton.</p> + +<p>Returning to the Pacific Coast we came by the southern +route, through Texas, Arizona and California. We stopped +a few hours in Los Angeles, and about ten days at San +Francisco and Oakland. From Oakland we visited Stanford +University, which was still very much demolished from the +earthquake nearly eighteen months before.</p> + +<p>We arrived home—at St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland—on +September thirtieth, after an absence of nearly four +months, and I wish to impress upon you that in all our +travels we did not receive one cent from our order—and +they never once offered us any money to pay any of our +expenses or showed us any sisterly solicitude.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER IX.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">I Receive My Diploma for Nursing from St. Vincent's +Hospital—Trouble Among the Sisters.</span></h3> + + +<p>Hundreds of people take trips like Sister Rita and I +took in 1907 every year and there is nothing said about it, +for it is only a common trip for the people of the world. +But for two nuns in their garb to travel from one side of +the continent to the other, and from the north to the south, +on a trip like this, is extraordinary. In all my sisterhood +life, I have never known any other two sisters to go on +such a trip. I have known them to take longer trips, some +of them to Europe, but always on business.</p> + +<p>Once more at the hospital where we had spent so many +years in drudgery, the smoldering pride and natural ambition +which had been suppressed and rudely beaten and +forced into oblivion, came from the hiding place with renewed +vigor. We realized that a great <i>something</i> had +taken place within us. We could not see things in the +same light as before. The trip had been educational for +us, and the knowledge acquired had driven deep into our +hearts the conviction of the truth with such power that we +found a terrible battle raging within us—Romish convent +"rot" on one side and light on the other.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span></p> + +<p>What were we to do? We had no homes, no place +to go to live the remainder of our earthly sojourn; we had +served the best part of our lives for the Roman institution +and were no longer young; our health was not the best; +helpless from every point of view, it was a plain case of +go to work, "for better or for worse."</p> + +<p>It was impossible for us to believe opened-eyed the +foolishness of all the silly superstitions we had so long +lived, and yet from it there was no escape, as it was by +rule and practice and demand, compulsory. We talked it +over and realized that we stood in need of a remedy to +counteract the wiles of darkness—neither allopathic nor +homeopathic prescription could accomplish this for us, and +we knew from experience that the Romish priest could do +nothing for us as he was the fountain head of the darkness +and ignorance, except perhaps administer a spiritual emetic +in the confessional. So we just took up our part of the +work as tools, grinding for the Roman machine.</p> + +<p>Naturally, the conditions at the hospital were the same +as they had always been, but the great change that had +taken place in my life caused me to be more independent +than I had ever been before. I saw that the treatment +accorded the sisters, doctors, nurses and patients was not +right, as well as they knew it. They soon realized the +degree of independence I had delegated to myself, and I +was overburdened with complaints of the wrongs that were +going on. Not that I could directly correct the irregularities, +but that I might have some influence with those in +charge of the workings of the institution.</p> + +<p>At St. Vincent's there were sixty sisters—simply women—in +whose hearts existed the same aspirations, cravings +and desires inherent in all human flesh. There were those<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span> +sisters with their whole heart and soul perfectly sincere +in their religion. Others who were the schemers, intriguing +in the most cunningly devised plans imaginable, workers +of iniquity and the greatest injustices in the guise of religious +show. To your face this class would be so sanctified, +always saying prayers and looking to heaven, but when +your back was turned, they would step on you, trample you +under their feet, or knife you to attain their end, and that +they might be glorified and exalted in the eyes of their +companions and superiors. The outside world will never +know the real meaning of the word "scheme" until they +have the opportunity of seeing the hellish plottings of a +sister-schemer.</p> + +<p>It is only natural that a sister will do her utmost to +have work in which she is interested and has some inclination +toward, so that she can see and hear those things +pleasing to her. Then when she is in her chosen work, +she will do all in her power, just the same as other people, +to attain the best position possible that life might be +brighter and she do the most good, as well as to have a +little more authority. In order to gain her aspirations, a +sister is compelled by the hell-bound system to live in continual +fire—the fire of fear and remorse—the fire of fierce +wrangling through pride, jealousy and ambition. Patients +and doctors have come to me many, many times, with proof +of the awful jealousy and inharmony among sisters. They +could not understand that a sister's world was so small and +cramped by obedience that they could not get away from +their last scene of hell and latest oppression.</p> + +<p>It was about this time, soon after my return from the +East, that there was a demand from the doctors and patients +for more efficient nursing. It had been public talk that the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span> +sisters did not train for the care of the sick and consequently +did not have diplomas. And yet, these sisters, with only +experimental knowledge of nursing, were head-nurses, as +superintendents and teachers in the training-school. Superiors +were appointed who never had any previous hospital +experience, coming directly from orphanages, schools or +kitchen work. Others who came direct from Canada, who +could not speak a dozen words of English, would be appointed +to some high office. From these we would be +compelled to take orders which meant blind and military +obedience under penalty for the non-observance.</p> + +<p>It was decided that some of the sisters should be given +diplomas to show their qualifications for nursing. I was +one of the chosen few who received a beautiful scroll of +paper certifying that I had completed a thorough course of +training in medical and surgical nursing and had undergone +a satisfactory examination, in the branches taught in the +training school, before certain members of the hospital staff +who had attached their signatures. It was also signed by +the Superior Provincial and the local Superior. This diploma +was a triple falsehood on the face of it, as I had not +taken a course of training, I had not taken an examination +before these doctors, or any other doctors, on the tenth +day of June, 1901, or any other time; and, moreover, I did +not receive it until after I had returned from my trip East, +which was 1907, which shows that it was either back-dated +or had been kept in "cold storage" for several years.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_108.png" width="649" height="524" alt="Fac-simile of the Diploma I Received from St. Vincent's +Hospital." title="" /> +<p class="caption">Fac-simile of the Diploma I Received from St. Vincent's +Hospital.</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span></p> + +<p>This was simply another delusion of the Roman Catholic +Hierarchy to hood-wink the public and cause them to think +that the Roman institutions were as efficient as other institutions. +Personally, I was qualified to nurse in nearly all +branches, as I will prove to my readers before I close this +book, but what I knew was not learned by a "thorough +training" by any teacher other than the teacher of experience, +and now, with over fifteen years of hospital work to +my credit, I was receiving what the ordinary nurse receives +after three years' training—the diploma.</p> + +<p>About 1910 the new addition to St. Vincent's was opened +for occupancy and it could then accommodate about four +hundred patients.</p> + +<p>The reports of the unfair treatment of the sisters and +others as well, were coming to me so fast that I decided to +try to right them from within the order. It was only the +beginning of the end for me. I appealed to all the women +authorities, from the local superior to the Mother General, +but to no avail. It simply caused the sisters in authority +to look upon me with suspicion and disfavor, and from the +very first, reports were circulated about me losing my faith, +and being a "bad religious." Orders were given the sisters +on my floor as to the management and also as to the manner +in which they were to treat me.</p> + +<p>The reports of what was going on had reached the +Mother House in Montreal, and the assistant Mother General, +who was a very good friend of mine, and at the same +time endeavoring to smooth matters over in the community, +asked me to take the office of superior at Astoria. It was +simply an attempt to get me out of St. Vincent's and I +refused to take the office, knowing that I could not treat +the sisters as a superior had to.</p> + +<p>A letter soon came from the Mother House, which I will +here copy, with others, showing how the news of strife +within the community travels. Also how cautious a sister +must be with her letters. The envelope was addressed to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span> +me, and on the top of it had these words: "P. S. If not +there return to me unopened."</p> + +<p class="right"> +Providence Mother House,<br /> +Montreal, Feb. 11th, 1910.<br /> +</p> + +<p>(This letter is for yourself alone.)</p> + +<p> +Sr. Lucretia,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 8em;">Portland, Oregon.</span><br /> +<br /> +Dear Sister:<br /> +</p> + +<p>What's up? It seems people find you so very, very +naughty—so naughty that strong measures are required. +Look out, the comet (Haley's Comet) may play serious +tricks! But nonsense apart, do write me what has happened +in that house? You cannot imagine how anxious I am, +knowing what injustice is sometimes meted out under the +plea of good order and merely for the sake of carrying +out certain plans to attain ones end. Be watchful. I love +the community with all my soul, but I hate the iniquity +wrought by some of its members through jealousy and +ambition. God help the weak! I shall say no more today, +but leave it all to the strong right arm of the Almighty.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left:2em;">Good-bye and believe me,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 10em;">Sincerely yours,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 18em;">SISTER M. WILFRID.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>This letter is proof that I was not the only sister who +knew of the wrongs and injustices that were going on under +the plea of religion. And believe me, I was very grateful +to receive this letter from one so high in the order as +Sister Wilfrid. It braced me up for the coming battle.</p> + +<p>My reply was as follows:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span></p> + +<p class="right"> +St. Vincent's Hospital,<br /> +Portland, Oregon, Feb. 20, 1910.<br /></p> +<br /> +<p>Rev. Mother Wilfrid, Asst. Gen.,<br /> +<span style="margin-left:2em;">Montreal, Canada.</span><br /> +<br /> +Dear Mother Wilfrid:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I am not aware of being so terribly naughty, and the +same comet (Haley's) that will play unfair tricks on me +might get a few played on it, when tricky cards will be +played.</p> + +<p>When these strange and strong measures will be put +to me I will certainly have to know of them and then it +shall be my business to learn the reason, and mine to +employ whatever means I may require for justice or peace +of soul and body. Any grievous wrongs coming to me +through jealous and ambitious evil-doers will not be borne +by me in a pent up heart any more like in the past. Accusations, +as also insinuations, which falsify will have to come +to light and proof. They can say all the dirty, wicked +remarks about me they please. I know but precious little +good has ever been said of me by the community representatives +out here in the past, and I do not expect better +yet. If I am American in my views and ways, it does not +make me irreligious or disloyal. My faults and shortcomings +are not worse, nor of meaner character than those I +am with, and have lived with. With little effort I can +produce plenty comparisons.</p> + +<p>I will not again suffer humiliating trials cast upon me +without cause, and worse, to no purpose, but to incur the +displeasure of God and to please deceitful, jealous, scheming +spirits.</p> + +<p>You ask me what has happened this house? It would<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span> +take me six months to put it in writing and make a +nervous wreck of myself and then be compelled to leave +to others what I attempted to better. Time, and sisters who +will be trained by home religious, who will understand our +people and sisters, can only right things with us out here. +Along these lines the trouble lies in this house. We are +even bad for knowing where trouble lies, etc., etc., etc. +You know as well as I do.</p> + +<p>I work hard and know that I work well, and I do my +duty the best I know. The crime is, I haven't the "L'esprit +de la religieuse," because I am not French and they can't +bake me over other than God made me. Amen.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left:2em;">With love in prayer, I am,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left:8em;">Yours very sincerely,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left:14em;">SISTER LUCRETIA,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left:20em;">S. C. S. P.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>On March 10th, 1910, I wrote her again, further explaining +what was going on, as follows:</p> + +<p>Dear Mother Wilfrid:</p> + +<p>Another item which stands black against me is that I +have been taking care of Archbishop Christie this winter. +Three weeks' special nurse and for three months I went +nearly every day to his residence to give his arm massage +treatment. I did my hospital work all but the entering of +a few names along with the extra work. I gave classes in +nursing to the sisters two evenings per week.</p> + +<p>Now, of course, I should be made to feel very sorry +that I have been capable of giving agreeable service to +such a distinguished patient. It being out of the question +to punish him for being pleased with my care or an expression +of a word of gratitude. So, it should behoove me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span> +to be put through the expiatory system to atone for my +sins of having done well and more than the usual effort. +I can't tell where the glory of such Christ-like doings belong. +No doubt it is the right spirit—too bad I haven't +it. What a grievous sin it must be to please, etc.</p> + +<p>Another item, my name was cast a good many times +in the ballot box on election evening for the new superior. +I suppose I might be called upon to glorify God by expiating +for this crime also, in some way or other. Those brilliant +gems are being added to other hallows, too. What Paradise! +minus innocence. Amen.</p> + +<p> +As ever.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left:8em;">Very truly yours,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left:14em;">SISTER LUCRETIA,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left:20em;">S. C. S. P.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>Just a day or two after I mailed the foregoing letter, +I received a note from Mother Wilfrid asking me to write +further, explaining more fully the national hatred mentioned +in my first letter—she not having received this last one as +yet. So on March 18th, 1910, I wrote at length:</p> + +<blockquote><p>Dear Mother Wilfrid:</p> + +<p>The only reason French sisters have no use for me, +and would never give me a sign of prestige is that I am +not French. That is my awful crime. I am liked and +approved of by all that I have dealings with—the doctors, +the people, the sick—great and lowly—the nurses, the help +of the floor—all express happiness and pleasure on seeing +me. The English-speaking sisters find a few minutes' comfort +of mind and a little peace and enjoyment in my company. +In the eyes of jealous, evil minds it must be wicked +to possess gifts which radiate peace, happiness and harmony.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span></p></blockquote> + +<blockquote><p>I even admit that I am not dead to approbation or condemnation. I +naturally like to give to everybody of the best I have, whatever it may +be—to receive people well and friendly, to serve someone a lunch, +or to do some little favor of whatever kind, or if it were only a few +kind words of encouragement. If anyone wishes my secret, I am not +jealous to give my recipe. I always made it a particular point to do +everything as well as I could and know that I do it with as pleasing and +cheerful disposition as possible. But that is poison to the other side. +I am and always have been successful in my office. I taught a class of +sisters (nursing) since the beginning of last September, and I know that +I did it right and successful the times I could get them.</p> + +<p>Why such national prejudice and jealousy? Really what +the last election (superior's election) here showed, after +all the talking of doing away with the spirit of nationality, +the prayers and conferences to the same purpose, then +the nationality spirit manifested itself with more force +than ever before, at least openly, so that one knows what +to call it. It shows clearly, too, that there will never be +harmony, and it is obvious that one kind will predominate +as long as they can, and when they cannot, the next majority +will.</p> + +<p>Our community has failed to prove, up to now, that it +is a success to have mixed nationalities. In time, of course, +anyone can see that one kind will give way to the other, +but not by means of harmony—probably by the same methods +as of the past, the stronger or the majority shall control +the weaker or minority. "As it was in the beginning, is +now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen." Said +this time in truth and effect.</p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span></p> +<p>First of all, our people, the English-speaking sisters, +have no one to go to for redress, who understands them +in their troubles and trials and difficulties of a business or +social nature, simply silence and obedience without a faint +feeling of even a little sympathy in common.</p> + +<p>The Jews did not understand our Lord and His suffering, +but the Blessed Virgin did. I believe He had a few +other household members who were not only loyal, faithful +and devoted to Him, but harmonious, too. If there was +jealousy and disagreement, I do not believe that a good +and generous worker was taken out of office by the Master +and put aside as an evil spirit or put through humiliating +and heart-rending trials till there would be nothing left +but a grimace and distorted body or an insensible being, +an object of pity and sadness.</p> + +<p>Should religion, if it was the right kind, make people +wish and sigh for death to come and put an end to their +misery? Why all this profession of religion if it cannot +grow a few flowers and plants of joy and happiness, if it +has to legislate people so stiff and cramped in body and mind +that they cannot bend without breaking, or breath enough +left in them without looking haggard or half dead?</p> + +<p>Religion and church are not to blame for want of +breadth, harmony and strength amongst ourselves in organizations. +It is up to the majority of us sisters to make +life part Paradise or all Purgatory on earth, and all the +sermons on charity that could be preached in the world +and all the good will and generosity put together will fail +to produce peace and harmony in a community which cannot +organize and legislate just and fair dealings to begin +with. Man knows and appreciates this.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span></p> + +<p>With the other letters I have sent you, you can see the +situation. With love as ever.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left:8em;">Sincerely yours,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left:14em;">SISTER LUCRETIA,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left:20em;">S. C. S. P.</span><br /> +</p></blockquote> + +<p>The reply I received was as follows:</p> + +<blockquote><p> +My dear Sister Lucretia:<br /> +</p> + +<p>Lest you worry about your letter of March 18th, I +come, although I have but a few moments to myself, to say +it reached me in due time. I have read and re-read it and +find that what you say is true. Oh! if trying to please and +comfort (without sacrificing one's religious principles) and +succeeding therein were crime, I earnestly wish there were +more criminals among us. In any case, I would urge you +to continue to make other's lives happy, and not allow the +narrow-mindedness of some and the unkindness of others +to cast bitterness into your own life. It is hard, sometimes, +but there are enough beauties and sweetnesses in +life if we will only take them, and I am sure you have +proved until now you know where they are to be found +and how to make use of them. Continue, dear Sister +Lucretia; nothing that is good ever dies; we have often +heard this and perhaps so far have had occasions to experience +its truth. Allow me to quote a few lines I found +not long ago and find encouraging: "If you live the most +devoted and disinterested life possible, you will find people +sneering at you and imputing your actions to selfish motives +and putting a cruel construction on all you do or say. +Well, it does not matter, for we shall all be manifested +at the Judgment seat of Christ, before God and men and +angels. Let us live to please Him, for our integrity of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span> +motive will be known at the last, and put beyond all +dispute."</p> + +<p>I have just learned that Sister Rita has been transferred +to Oakland. I hope she will like the South and make +herself happy.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left:2em;">Believe me, dear Sister,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left:8em;">Sincerely yours,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left:14em;">SISTER M. WILFRID,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left:20em;">S. C. S. P.</span><br /> +</p></blockquote> + +<p>You will observe from the foregoing letters that we, +as sisters, do not hold the system accountable for the +wrongs we have to endure in the convent. We believe that +the sisters alone are at fault, as I have stated in my letters +to Mother Wilfrid. But the man or woman with ordinary +intelligence, who reads these conditions as they were at +that time can readily see the real source. The heads of +the institution, who had the sole power, instead of the +bettering conditions, tolerated and permitted them to remain. +At that, I have my grave doubts if the convent system +could <i>ever</i> be harmonious. Think of housing a large number +of women under one roof, bound by the ironclad, childish +rules and precepts. They are a barrier to "life, liberty and +the pursuit of happiness," which the Constitution of the +United States guarantees every citizen. They make progress +an impossibility. The outside world thinks the convent +system is a success because they see the institutions grow +in size and number, which is due to the economic methods +of free sister-service. They never have the opportunity to +see "success" from within.</p> + +<p>As a further proof that the system is the cause of discord, +strife and inharmony among the sisters I will copy<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span> +another letter I wrote to Mother Wilfrid. There is some +repetition of portions of my former letters, but I think +the whole of the letter will interest my readers, even though +it is lengthy:</p> + +<blockquote><p> +Dear Mother Wilfrid:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I will bring a few other points before you, Mother, +which means inharmony in our order. I do not intend to +convey to you the idea that I am an oracle of success. The +intention being simply to consider some of the principal +essentials required for success. Just a little mental view +of things.</p> + +<p>We all admit that experience is a great teacher—observation +its necessary accompaniment. Both are in vain +unless a practical application can be made of the lessons +to be learned from them.</p> + +<p>One of the first essentials of success is common honesty. +If those who have had experience in one kind of work +could only dare to be sincere enough to express the difficulties +they meet, in such a manner as to better conditions. +What's in the way? Prejudice, the fear of not standing +high as a perfect religious, sisters, whether qualified for +leadership or not, ambitious for high offices. If the companion +should be a little more gifted in some things than +the superior, she should make herself so small and subservient +that she can scarcely think. If she cannot look +scared, stand back and look perfectly mum. She is proud, +independent, trespassing on the superior's rights, disloyal +and rebelling against all rightful and lawful authority. She +is placed in a responsible position and not permitted to be +woman enough to be justified in her own actions. She has +to of necessity, due to inorganization, make a blunder of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span> +herself and her work. We are constantly blundering and +straightening out after each other. Experience should have +taught some of us how to improve upon blundering ways. +Take for one thing, the frequent changing of the sisters +without system or method, often for no reason—then because +some have put their heads together to bare so-and-so +out, they have to eat "black bread." She has given offence—God +alone knows for what trifle. She must be punished +and made unsuccessful even if the house and place where +she is will suffer the loss of her good and successful work. +This might be saying a good deal for a subordinate, but +it is the price paid for lessons taught by experience. We +will have better organization only when we will have our +sisters taught from the time they enter the work for which +they have aptitude, talent and inclination, and leave them +generally where they are contented and successful and not +shift them about from house to house, pillar to post, without +serious reason. We ought to know by this time that +a work one does not care anything about she will not put +much effort or interest in.</p> + +<p>To stand the hardships in connection with every occupation, +one must have some liking for it and be qualified +to succeed. And then there will be plenty of room to love +God and suffer for Him, and any number of chances to +practice the highest degree of religious perfection—entire +abnegation, if you will. Such a one can be on the way to +Gethsemane every day with greater fervor rather than +murmurs.</p> + +<p>As a general rule, people who have worked the greater +part of their lives or years in certain works, particularly +when they reach the years of about forty, adapt themselves +with great difficulty to an entirely different kind. They<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span> +need the efforts and thoughts as well, of younger years to +correspond with their generosity and good will. First of +all to grasp the situation, and then a renewing of energy, +as it were, they need new thoughts to keep in progress +with the changing conditions. I cannot see that we have +to be a misfit to be a good religious, and to cripple every +natural gift—physically or intellectually.</p> + +<p>It takes years of study, practice and experience to acquire +the knowledge to fit ones self for the proper and +successful way of handling any work or business. People +who are every year, or every few years, starting something +new, are always beginners, possessing a superficial or smattering +knowledge of many things, and thorough in none.</p> + +<p>This is the way our house is largely represented here +now—and we wonder what is the matter! "What has +happened, St. Vincent's?" The greater wonder is that +things go on as well as they do.</p> + +<p>Another mistake our people make is that of ousting +out of office those who do have the good will and energy +to capacitate themselves for their work and prove a success +all round by making a little more of themselves than +the ordinary hum-drum routine sisters. The spirit of the +rule is one kind of spirit—and there are other spirits. If +I have not the spirit, God forgive me. There are plenty +of others who have not the spirit. Is it the spirit when +one is successful in an office and in all her dealings with +the people she comes in contact with, to not even make +an effort to have harmony and understanding on the part +of her superiors if misunderstanding and discord exists? +They are not able to face you with one correction or complaint, +but through the religious system, under cover of all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span> +that is holy, to oust her and throw her down and out, as +it were, regardless of human feelings or sense of righteousness—no, +not even common civility. Anyone not made of +cast-iron is bound to break—body and spirit—under such +tremendous pressure.</p> + +<span style="margin-left:2em;">Such is Sister Rita's case, for one.</span> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left:8em;">Yours as ever,</span><br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left:14em;">SISTER LUCRETIA,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left:20em;">S. C. S. P.</span><br /> +</p></blockquote> + +<p>I want it strictly understood by my readers that all the +letters I have here produced were written by me while I +was yet a sister at St. Vincent's Hospital, and superintendent +of the third floor of that institution. I could tell the +same facts without the evidence of these letters, and in a +great many less words, but I wish to let the world know +that I knew while there that the governing heads of the +institution were doing nothing to better the then existing +conditions of inharmony and discord among the sisters; +but, on the other hand, were making matters worse for +them by transferring older sisters who were acquainted +with the work and supplanting them with younger sisters +who were ignorant in the care of the sick.</p> + +<p>In a few words the wrongs could be summed up as +follows:</p> + +<p>National hatred and jealousy;</p> + +<p>The rule of the system compelling the sisters to report +on the other sisters to the superior, which means a great +many false reports;</p> + +<p>The employment of sisters who had no previous ex<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span>perience, +and the transferring of those who did know about +the care of the sick;</p> + +<p>Superiors who were absolutely unqualified for hospital +work;</p> + +<p>Non-care of sick sisters;</p> + +<p>Ignorance and blind obedience;</p> + +<p>The numberless religious practices which took us away +from the sick, very often when they needed the most careful +attention;</p> + +<p>Besides the taking care of the sick, the many other +obligations which the sisters were called upon to perform—such +as laundry work, janitor work, kitchen work, etc.</p> + +<p>And no one to go to for redress in case of wrong.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER X.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">My Removal from St. Vincent's Hospital.</span></h3> + + +<p>On the tenth of July, 1911, I went to Vancouver, Washington, +for my annual retreat. Immediately upon my return +to St. Vincent's, July 19, I was summoned to the room of +the Provincial Superior, Mother Nazareth, and she informed +me that I had been "nominated" to go to Cranbrook, B. C., +saying that as my health had not been very good for some +time, the change would be good for me. I had undergone +a very serious operation some time before this, from which +I had not fully recovered. The nervous strain caused by +the troubles within the order had not been of any physical +benefit to me, owing to the weakened condition of my +system from the operation. So I told Mother Nazareth +that I did not think that going up in the mountains where +the climate was so cold would be very beneficial to my +health. I also told her that I did not think that my health +was the reason for my removal, but that it was on account +of reports, and I wished to know what some of them were. +She refused to tell me, and I told her that if she did not +care to, or would not, I would go to higher authority, the +Superior General.</p> + +<p>Talk about system, and the traveling of news! On July +21st, two days after I was informed that I was to go to +Cranbrook, I received the following letter:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span></p> +<blockquote> +<p class="right">House of Providence,<br /> +Vancouver, Wash., July 20, 1911.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Sister Lucretia,</span><br /> +St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Ore.<br /> +<br /> +Dear Sister:<br /> +I am informed by your Provincial Superior that you +refuse to accept your nomination to another house.</p> + +<p>Please write me to that effect.</p> + +<p>Awaiting your answer within a reasonable time, I am,</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 8em;">Very sincerely yours,</span><br /> +<br /> +(Seal) <span style="margin-left: 14em;">SISTER MARY JULIAN,</span><br /> +<span style="margin-left: 20em;">Superior General.</span><br /> +</p></blockquote> + +<p>Can you see how the sisters work to keep ahead of all +the other sisters? Using, if necessary, unfair and unjust +methods to attain their ends. I had told Mother Nazareth +that I would go over her head, and from all evidence she +must have immediately sent a messenger to the Superior +General with the message that was written me in that letter, +which was not true. I had not refused to accept the +appointment, but had asked the reason for such a change. +Our rule on "Fraternal Charity" and the "Roman Circular" +from the Pope, says to "tell the wrongdoer of her faults." +So I had the right to be given the reason for my change, +after all the reports I had received of my very "irreligious +conduct."</p> + +<p>Instead of writing to the Superior General, as requested +in her letter, I went in person. I asked her to tell me some +of the reports she had against me. She informed me that +she had heard many reports about me, but that she did<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span> +not have to tell me. I told her that if I was to correct +myself of my faults, I should know what some of them +were. She told me that she had heard reports about me +counseling a young sister to leave the community, when +she was in Missoula, Montana, long before she was Superior +General. This I flatly denied, as I had not done so, and +I asked her to name the sister, but she refused to do so. +She also informed me that a great fault of mine was +that I would not report on the other sisters. I told her +that this was very true, and that I would not report on +the other sisters unless there was something very wrong +to report, as I did not think it was right. She became +very angry after me questioning her, and said, "I am the +authority and you are the subject, and you have nothing to +do but to obey your superiors." I said, "All right, I made +a vow of obedience, and I will obey; I will go where you +send me, and I will do what I am told, but it will be mine +to tell the story."</p> + +<p>On my return to St. Vincent's, I went direct to Mother +Nazareth and asked her if she had any fault to find with +my work. She replied, "No." I asked her if she had any +fault to find with my character. She replied "No."</p> + +<p>I then went to my local superior, Sister Alexander, to +whom by rule I was obliged to go every month to give an +account of my spiritual and material progress or difficulties. +It was her duty to tell me if she had any fault to find. She +had never found any fault with me all the time she had +been my superior, except that I had once given some food +to an employee without her permission. I asked her the +same questions I had asked Mother Nazareth in regard to +my work and character, and she answered the same as +Mother Nazareth had. I told her that no one ever had any<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span> +faults against me before, why all the reports and faults +now? To this she made no reply.</p> + +<p>My rule gave me the right to appeal to ecclesiastical +authority for redress of grievances if I was not satisfied +with the decision of my women superiors. So I next +went to Archbishop Alexander Christie.</p> + +<p>I told him of the wrongs which were causing me many +heartaches and sorrows, and also the report the Superior +General had told me she had heard so many years before. +He told me that the Superior General had no right to +handle me on reports she had heard before she had been +in office, according to Church or Canon law. He said that +I had made a vow of obedience and that the best thing I +could do was to obey for the present and maybe he could +do something for me later.</p> + +<p>I had heard from priests about the justice of Archbishop +Christie's Coadjutor, or Vicar General, as he is called, Monsignor +Rauw, so I decided to go to him and see if he could +intercede for me, or at least cause an investigation. He +listened very intently and, seemingly, with much interest to +my story of the injust treatment I was receiving, how +I had spent so many years in the service of the community +and church. In tears and sorrow I appealed to him to +see that the right was done, not that I was complaining +about my appointment to another mission, but I was complaining +about my appointment to this particular mission +on account of the climatic conditions, and in the manner +in which I was being sent. There must have been some +reason for all this—and I knew well what it was—but I +could get no one to tell me so I could defend myself. When +I had finished telling my story to this great "holy father," +he stood up, and holding himself together with both hands,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span> +said, with much force, "In religion we have to make big +sacrifices!"</p> + +<p>Sacrifice! I was all but sacrificed then, and to get an +answer like that from the last one I could appeal to for +right! It is impossible to find words to express the feeling +that came over me. My heart and very being became chilled. +I shuddered at the very thought of religion. In my novitiate +I had been taught that if at any time during my community +life I would be in need of fatherly kindness and redress, +I was free to go in all childlike simplicity to authorized +priests or bishops. This was the first time in all my service +to the church that I had asked anything of the priestly +"fathers." It had always been <i>my</i> service and sacrificing +for them. And now, when it was my turn to look for some +assistance in my extreme oppression—when only a few +words from any one of them would have caused the sun +of justice to shine on my life—they stood by and did not +say a word in my behalf.</p> + +<p>"His watchmen are blind: they are all ignorant, they +are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, +loving to slumber. Yea, they are greedy dogs which can +never have enough, and they are shepherds that cannot +understand: they all look to their own way, every one for +his gain, from his quarter. Come ye, say they, I will fetch +wine, and we will fill ourselves with strong drink; and +tomorrow shall be as this day, and much more abundant." +(Isaiah, 56:10,12.)</p> + +<p>In all my attempts for redress, the only word of encouragement +I had received was from Archbishop Christie, who +had said that he "might be able to do something for me +later." But, as for the present, I could clearly see that +nothing could be done, except for me to reconcile myself +to my removal and go.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span></p> + +<p>Remember, dear reader, that I had served eighteen years +at St. Vincent's, and it had become as a home to me. Not +only had eighteen years of my service been utilized in building +this institution, but I had sold hundreds and hundreds +of little cards to my friends and patients for five cents +each, each card representing a brick in the building. More +than that, I loved the work and had made hundreds of +friends from every part of Oregon, administering to them +in sickness. But laying all these things aside, I wanted to +go and have it over with.</p> + +<p>So I packed the wreck of a trunk that was assigned to +me with what few belongings I had, stealing in a few forbidden +books and pictures. In all cases of removals of +sisters, the superior is supposed to examine the trunk, but +for some reason, unknown to me, the superior did not +examine mine, so I succeeded in keeping a great many +little articles which otherwise I would not have.</p> + +<p>During the last two days, I avoided meeting everyone +possible for the final adieu, as the despotic and un-Christian +manner of my removal was too sensibly present to me. +The friends I did meet expressed great sympathy for me +and often there was bitterness of tears from both of us. +One of the leading physicians of the staff halted me near +the main office, and in the presence of Sister Rita, told me +that it was criminal to me after the years of service to that +institution and at my years and poor health. He said that +it was heartless and most un-Christian treatment. This +little speech caused me to think differently of Protestants +than I had in the past—that in the end I would rather go +to the Protestant heaven than to ever again meet some of +these "holy fathers and religious saints."</p> + +<p>On July 26th, I left for Cranbrook in company with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span> +Mother Nazareth. On leaving St. Vincent's, I placed my +arm over my eyes so that I could not see the sisters, or +other friends, or even the building where I had lived so +long. This was the first of many long, sad, sorrowful days +for me.</p> + +<p>We arrived at our destination on July 28th, at one +o'clock in the morning. The institution which was to be +my new home, was a small hospital, which could accommodate +about sixty patients.</p> + +<p>The next morning, Mother Nazareth and my new superior, +Sister Mary Vincent, assigned me to my new work. +I was to serve in the dining-rooms—including the priest's—wash +dishes, take care of the halls, the sister's community +room and the priest's apartment, and to do the work that +would be necessary in and about the building. Then, to +make everything more "pleasing" for me, they told me +that in the near future I could go begging as I had done +in my younger years. To this, I told them that I would +go, <i>providing</i> that I could be home every night, as I did +not think I was physically able to be out nights as I had +in years past.</p> + +<p>This was all for the benefit of my health, and this same +Mother Nazareth, who was helping the superior assign me +to my work, was the one that told me the change was for +that purpose.</p> + +<p>After years of struggle and convent slavery, endeavoring +to make myself efficient in nursing, this the reward. +If I had not been strong and robust, I could never have +lasted as long as I had. The average girl in this drudgery +goes years before she reaches the age I was at that time. But +the years of grind and confinement had begun to tell on<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span> +me, and the heads of the institution—sly old foxes—could +see it; so I had to go.</p> + +<p> +"Authority intoxicates,<br /> +And makes mere sots of magistrates;<br /> +The fumes of it invade the brain,<br /> +And make men giddy, proud and vain;<br /> +By this the fool commands the wise,<br /> +The noble with the base complies,<br /> +The sot assumes the rule of wit,<br /> +And cowards make the brave submit."<br /> +<br /></p> +<p class="center">—Butler.</p><br /> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XI.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Two Interesting Letters from Sisters—My Letters +for Redress to Archbishop Christie.</span></h3> + + +<p>I was now permitted to be on mission with my own +blood sister, Sister Cassilda. After having been estranged +and poisoned in mind against me by the system for over +twenty years, she was to be an example for making me a +"good religious." And, poor girl, she sure enough was a +"good example" of the products of the Roman convent +system. She had been on Indian mission nearly all of her +sisterhood life. For five years, without ever seeing civilization, +she was kept at the Blackfoot Indian Mission, in Alta +Territory, B. C. I remember once when she came to Vancouver, +Washington, for her retreat, the poor, dear girl +looked as primitive as the American natives she had been +taking care of. Her sensibilities were dulled from the long +practice of mortification and the endurance of terrible hardships. +She did not realize it, but she was verily an object +of pity. Oh, how sorry I felt, to have my sister there +with me, and yet no sister to talk to, owing to the moulding +and shaping we had undergone by the Roman Catholic +system.</p> + +<p>Even though she had never had any previous experience +in caring for the sick, she was, at the time I went to Cran<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span>brook, +assistant superior of the hospital there. And after +all the years I had served in nursing, I was under her +direction.</p> + +<p>A short time after my arrival at my new mission I +received a letter from my dear friend, Sister Rita, as +follows:</p> + +<blockquote><p> +Dear Lucretia:<br /> +</p> + +<p>Another change. Now they say Mere General (Mother +General) intends leaving for your place Thursday the 10th +(August 10th). I am not stealing your letter out, as I +read it to Mother Nazareth, also to Sister Alexander, then +told them that I wanted to see that it got off.</p> + +<p>You need your reputation and I would make them prove +the <i>lies</i>. You were missioned through reports of companions +who were out of their rule for not warning you +first. Then, superiors have their rule. You have obeyed. +Now you sift the matter, though stay in the community and +make them take good care of you. That is only fair and +just before God and man. When they make use of religion +to cover dirty politics it is time to make them face it. You +may show this to Mother General or anybody else.</p> + +<p class="center">With love, from</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="right">RITA.</p><br /> +</blockquote> + +<p>Another letter I received from Sister Mary Winifred, +about this time, will explain itself:</p> + +<blockquote> +<p class="right">Providence Academy, Vancouver, Wash.<br /> +August 13, 1911.<br /> +<br /> +Dear Sister Lucretia:<br /> +</p> + +<p>Last week I spent a few days in Portland and it is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span> +needless to say that I missed you very much, as do all +your friends there.</p> + +<p>From conversations at recreation I understand that +your change was made doubly painful by false charges. +You have my heartfelt sympathy in this, for I have experienced +that painful ordeal, and I say God help those who +must go through it. Let me say to you what dear Father +Schram said to me, "Be thankful that you are the accused +rather than the accuser. I would rather be in your place +than theirs." It is only a matter of time; justice will assert +itself in spite of all human power. Your sorrow will be +turned into joy. Be brave, dear sister, this will all be +righted.</p> + +<p>There are some hard things in religious life. God +knows why! The words of our dear Lord, "For which of +my favors would you stone me," must come to the mind +of some religious often during life.</p> + +<p>Now, dear sister, I must close.</p> + +<p>Believe me in union of prayer and suffering.</p> + +<p class="center">Yours ever,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="right">SISTER M. WINIFRED.</p><br /></blockquote> + +<p>Mother General Julian visited Cranbrook on August +13, 1911, and I endeavored to have her right matters, but +to no avail. So I decided to write my complaints to +Archbishop Christie of Portland. These letters also explain +the most important points of the visit of Mother General +Julian of August 13th.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span></p> +<blockquote> +<p class="right">St. Eugene Hospital,<br /> +Cranbrook, B. C., August 17, 1911.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p>Most Reverend A. Christie, D.D.,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 8em;">Portland, Oregon.</span><br /> +<br /> +Very Dear Bishop:<br /></p> + +<p>I am now here three weeks lacking one day; needless +to say that I have not been feeling very well, for in the +manner I had to take my dismissal from St. Vincent's and +move out to mission, I do not think it hardly possible for +me to feel extra good, either mentally or physically, unless +one was made of cast-iron.</p> + +<p>Your Grace, I hate to trouble you; I know you must +have enough care on your mind and heavy responsibilities. +Nevertheless, I beg you to listen to me a little while. I +feel it an awful strain upon my mind and weight upon +my heart to have to submit to so much downright cruelty +and injustice. Power made use of to take advantage of +others. My removal was prompted through ambition and +jealousy. I was too successful and well liked, and no +means could be found to break my influence except by +taking advantage of my sacred vow of obedience to get +me out of their way. Now what is this but making use +of religion to play dirty politics? This change was brought +about over my provincial's head. Our rule says reports +are to go to the provincial and she is to make the change +or report for such to higher authority. In the visit of our +Mother General here, August 13, 1911, I told her I was +not satisfied nor at peace in the service of God about the +way I had been changed, because I had to feel too keenly +that it was as a punishment influenced by reports. She +then said that she might have been influenced and talked<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span> +to the effect that she had all right to make any change, +whatever the reasons were. She said that she had reports +and that she did not need to tell me where they came from +or what they were. I said that if she expected me to correct +myself for what was reported against me, I thought I should +be told. She insisted that I had been told. I said the only +thing I had been told, the one and only charge you already +made "counseling a young sister to leave the community," +which I positively denied and said that I might ask an +investigation. Moreover, you had this against me before +you were in office and I did not believe you could use it +against me, even were it true.</p> + +<p>Is it not convenient to get into power and take advantage +of another for all reports and remarks ever heard +about you, years before they knew you?</p> + +<p>When I spoke of investigation, she said that she did +not say that I was not telling the truth in denying the +charge she made. I answered that it was easy to say that +now, but the mischief was done; that I was thrown out +of the occupation I worked so very hard to become efficient +and useful in, and that I did not feel that it should +be required of me to begin over as if I was twenty or +twenty-five, neither did I think it was required of me to +mould myself over according to every new superior's individual +ways of thinking and liking, nor to run and jump +about my work like a young soldier on picket duty.</p> + +<p>I don't claim perfection or sanctity, simply doing the +best I know how, and at the same time trying to make +the most of myself, becoming a decent human being and +Sister of Charity. If I did not appear religious enough +to please every sister that knows or hears of me, I could +not help it. If I did good work and behaved myself in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span> +accordance with our rules and constitution, I thought this +was a good deal to be taken into account; and that I did +not think that one should be so easily trifled with and +annoyed to desperation over faults and imperfections that +we are all, more or less, subject to, and for me to be treated +like this was injurious to my mind and health.</p> + +<p>She (Mother General) said this was a nice place for +me, and I did not need to work if I did not feel well, and +that I could do the same work I had done before if I wanted +to do it and resign myself.</p> + +<p>This is the kind of redress we have, Your Grace. They +can even dispense the subject from any or all activity when +it could mean torment to some one in their "black book."</p> + +<p>I told her I wanted to find out if the church had nothing +to say concerning these matters, and also the way I +had been removed from office, without one bit of consideration, +either for my years of service in the community, which +I thought was church service, or my ability or experience. +It made no difference in the least how I felt, or what it had +cost me to fit myself for my work. All that seemed required +on their part was to show me and give me to understand +that I was not needed or wanted any longer.</p> + +<p>Dismissal in a heartless manner from the work in which +I have suffered all sorts of inconveniences, wretched trials +due to narrowness, which I could enumerate to you, but +would be too lengthy to write. God alone knows the circumstances +under which I had to learn my lessons to fit +myself for the work I did and managed. I had to be +orderly, diet-cook, dish-washer, scrub-woman, painter, +seamstress, account-keeper, collector—also take names and +history of the patients, nurse and overseeing other nurses'<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span> +work—these and other things have been my daily round of +duties.</p> + +<p>Nice time of the day and years of my life for my superiors +to say to my face that they have no fault to find with my +work and none of character, and at the same time to do +what they have done in the name of good under cover of +religion, claiming all right because authority is theirs. Must +unfit and unscrupulous ones be left to have their own way +entirely? Has justice no weight or meaning in the government +of church organizations?</p> + +<p>Does it seem fair to take one away from a work that +she knows well and gave satisfaction, without giving one a +single reason, and put beginners in her place and send the +experienced one where beginners ought to start from? If +I were even needed here! It really seems as if pleasure +had to be taken in seeing how far one could be driven. +It is maddening for the victim who has to stand it. I could +not have the good will I ought to have, these things embitter +one and in conscience I cannot hold myself accountable +before God. It is discouraging and checks the better +feelings, desires and efforts in doing their best, and in time +the result will be callousness, indifference and unfitness for +any good whatever. This way of doing is applying the +system of authority in the old accustomed way when they +want to make a human machine of one—is to deprive +them of all chances of interest in life, the final result is +bound to be physical and mental break-down or nervous +wreck—as I have seen it too many times, unfortunately. +Going through this process a number of times hurries our +sisters to some cemetery or asylum.</p> + +<p>Your Grace, I feel to ask an investigation unless I can<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span> +be given assurance that I shall be reinstated in my former +work and have my name restored.</p> + +<p>Our superiors claim that even an Archbishop has +nothing to say in these matters in an order governed by +a Mother General. That would be news to me. I thought +he was our first ecclesiastical head of church affairs in his +domain. I know in Canada the Mother General is not over +Archbishop Bruchasie. There might be a big difference +in the States, probably in the West.</p> + +<p>Your Grace, I am sorry and humiliated to have to +trouble you in this unpleasant manner about so much awful +disagreeableness, but I could not endure it without doing +my utmost to get such unfairness righted. I cannot tell +you in words how much I appreciate knowing you as I +do, and that I feel perfectly at home in addressing myself +to you during this time of difficulties. I hope and pray +that your health remains good, Your Grace.</p> + +<p>Awaiting an answer, with much esteem and very best +regards,</p> + +<p class="center">Yours sincerely and respectfully,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="right">SISTER LUCRETIA,<br /></p> +<p class="right">S. C. S. P.<br /> +</p></blockquote> + +<p>Letter No. 2:</p> + +<blockquote> +<p class="right">St. Eugene Hospital,<br /> +Cranbrook, B. C., August 28, 1911.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p>Very dear Archbishop Christie:<br /> +</p> + +<p>Your Grace, the large letter enclosed in this envelope, +dated August 17th, I intended to send at the time, and +after I had written it, I thought it was better for me to +come to Portland and see you, as some matters in it might<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span> +require further explanation than I could express in writing, +because I wanted you to know the true state of things, +and for fear that I might induce you to do anything rash +in regard to me, I thought it better to bring the letter +myself.</p> + +<p>When Mother General was here on August 13, 1911, I +told her that I might ask an investigation. She said it +was alright, that I could do so if I wanted to. I supposed +that this included my permission to come and see you +when I decided to do so—if I needed permission from the +lesser authority to speak to the higher. I had told Mother +Nazareth that I wanted to go to Portland to see my higher +superior on a matter of conscience.</p> + +<p>August 26th, last Saturday, I asked her for her pass +or transportation to Portland. She said her pass was in +Portland and that she would send for it and that it would +be here by Wednesday. Instead of that she communicated +with our Mother General, this morning she told me so, +and that neither Mother General nor she could give me +permission or money to go to Portland. I was frank with +Mother Nazareth when she spoke of money; I said I could +wait a few days for the pass. I cannot understand why +this deception. I do not feel good over it, after telling +her that I had Mother General's consent for what I was +to do. Our people are afraid to make one move without +Canada. I do not suppose from this transaction that Mother +Nazareth gave Mother General an agreeable account of me +since I am here.</p></blockquote><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_140.png" width="480" height="700" alt="Most Reverend Alexander Christie, D.D., Archbishop of +Portland, Oregon." title="" /> +<p class="caption">Most Reverend Alexander Christie, D.D., Archbishop of +Portland, Oregon.</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span></p> + +<blockquote><p>I am having a much begrudged vacation. I am not +any profit to the community just now, having been sick +and unable to work for a few weeks. How could I be +otherwise, or anyone else with a grain of sense or feeling, +I cannot do things slipshod or by halves. Outside of my +trip East, I cannot recollect of ever having had more than +perhaps a couple of days cessation from hard work in all +my thirty years of community life—without speaking of +vacation, which I never dared to ask for, feeling sure of +punishment of some sort to follow if I did.</p> + +<p>Mother Nazareth quoted Mother General as saying to +me, "There was work here if I wanted to do it," and she +added, "What was good enough for the sisters here was +good enough for me." I told her "Yes, what was good +enough for the sisters here was good enough for me, and +it was not beneath me at all to do what the sisters here +did, but it was out of the question and I do not wish to +discuss it, as it is useless."</p> + +<p>You see they have determined together—our people +having yielded to Canadian "todiers"—to show me that +I am to take in silence as much, or as little, as it is theirs to +demand. It belongs absolutely to them to subdue me in +whatever way they please, to make me see and accept as +right the one and only way they see it, and taking upon +themselves to refuse me the right of speaking to our own +archbishop. This is one of the reasons why I am out of +Portland. They are uneasy as what I may say to you. +They cannot see it in any other light than that I am +telling wrong things and having a bad influence, hence it +is better for me to be where there will be no such occasion. +What a shame to have to talk of such narrow, childish +treatment and small things, but, truths just the same which +can make one's life very hard to live.</p> + +<p>I also enclose a short letter from Mother Wilfrid, one +of our Western sisters General Assistant Councilor. Letter +dated February 11, 1910, which is only a little over a year<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span> +ago now. I found it amongst my things after my letter +dated August 17, 1911, was written. I cannot make use +of it. It will show that I am not imagining things so +terribly in mind, and it is positive proof that I am handled +on reports, the nature of which and the numbers of years +in gathering I am not permitted to know. They have the +advantage of me by my vow of obedience. Your Grace, +I leave everything to your wisdom and discretion. I do +not want you to do anything hasty or by persuasion, which +might be regrettable, though I do think they need to be +taught the lesson that they are not God Almighty, even +though power be entrusted them. I do not say on the +minute—but in your own good time and judgment. Mother +Nazareth is terribly frightened, and says I will regret +going to you.</p> + +<p>Our people's talk is that Archbishop Bruchasie is the +only ecclesiastical head above our superiors. It is that +with them, or pine away out of life seems to be the only +alternative permissible. I could address myself to him and +then be ordered to go and sit in some dark corner in +Montreal the remainder of my days, like poor Sister Paul +of the Sacred Heart is doing, and like sickly Sister Gabriel +was told that the sheriff would be called to take her to +Montreal if she would not go by their orders.</p> + +<p>Your Grace, it is a comfort and a miracle to me to be +able to tell these things to you, because I know that you +can have much good come out of all it now, and more +for the future sisters of the country. I am sorry to have +to bother you.</p> + +<p>Mother General did remark to me here when I told her +that I did not feel right about the way this had been +done to me, that it might not be for long. Your Grace,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span> +I will pray every day that God will bless you with good +health and success, and that you will be with us many +years to come.</p> + +<p> +<span style="margin-left: 4em;">Awaiting an answer, I remain,</span><br /> +<br /></p> +<p class="center">Yours devotedly and respectfully,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="right">SISTER LUCRETIA,</p><br /> +<p class="right">S. C. S. P.</p><br /> +</blockquote> + +<p>These three letters (one from Mother Wilfrid to me) +were enclosed in one envelope and sent to Archbishop +Christie by registered mail.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XII</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">My Emancipation.</span></h3> + + +<p>The many, long, dreary days of suspense that followed +awaiting a reply from Archbishop Christie were surely days +of indescribable penance. No one for a confident but myself, +and my thoughts so pent up within me that I had to +contrive some means of relief. My heart was crushed and +broken. The suppression of my feelings and the burning +sensation of the physical pain I had to endure in the awful +conflict of soul and body were almost unbearable. I took +advantage of the only remedy within this Roman "house +of correction." I would go to the garret, which was the +nurses' dormitory, and holding my garb up so that I could +move freely, I would pace the floor, hundreds of times, +exhausting, so to speak, the surplus energy caused by the +unrighteous indignation. And, at the same time, praying +in my simple way to the saints for light as to the next +step to take. During the late hours of the sleepless nights, +with the heavy burden of my troubles on my mind, I would +walk the floor of my little room (about ten feet square) +like some caged animal pacing his den in quest of liberty.</p> + +<p>At the holiday season I wrote a short letter to Archbishop +Christie, wishing him the greetings of the season, +to which I received the following reply:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span></p> + +<blockquote> +<p class="right">Portland, Oregon, January 2, 1912.</p><br /> +<br /><p> +Dear Sister:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I thank you sincerely for your kind Xmas remembrance.</p> + +<p>My Xmas was an exceedingly busy one. But it brought +me great consolation. The large number of men and women +who received holy communion was most edifying. Asking +God to grant you a blessed New Year, I am,</p> + +<p class="center">Sincerely in Xto,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="center">X A. CHRISTIE.</p><br /> +</blockquote> + +<p>It had been over four months since I had written my +letters for redress to him, and he never once even acknowledged +receipt of them, and in this letter, as you can see, he +never once mentioned anything about them.</p> + +<p>In my depressing perplexities, I had begun to think +that there was no such thing as redress in the order, and +that the clause in my book of rule, "the right to apply to +high ecclesiastical authority," was a blind and a farce, as +was the teaching of "fatherly" kindness.</p> + +<p>As my eyes opened I realized that I might as well try +to tear down the mighty stone walls of the Rocky Mountains, +which I could behold daily, as to move the Roman +Catholic "religious" machine to interest itself in righting +wrongs for a sister in the community. There was nothing +for me to do but live on and take whatever wrongs the +system was pleased to mete out to me to the end of my +days, or to play the hypocrite for a few years, waiting +for something better, if those in authority saw fit to give +me a change.</p> + +<p>I should have had the same privilege of receiving and +sending mail in Canada as other American citizens are<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span> +accorded, but not so. The system, as it always does, +demanded and delegated to itself the right to scrutinize all +mail sent or received by its subjects. So, in order that +I might send and receive letters dealing with subjects other +than the Roman Catholic religion and convent, I had to +gain the confidence of a "secular" and receive my mail +outside the convent.</p> + +<p>I had written to a friend in Spokane, Washington, Mrs. +A. J. Kearney, who was a graduated nurse from St. Vincent's +Hospital, telling her of my trouble and that I was +contemplating leaving the order, as I was at last satisfied +in my own mind that this was the only step to take. I +received an encouraging reply and wrote again, planning +further.</p> + +<p>In the meantime, I continued my novenas to the Blessed +Virgin Mary, St. Anthony and St. Joseph, in heart-breaking +sorrow and tears—praying for enlightenment, as I had +been doing for weeks and months. In all earnestness and +sincerity I was bowing, scraping, kneeling, pleading to the +images, the statues and the fourteen stations of the cross.</p> + +<p>At last, after so long a time, it came to me as if a +thunderbolt had come from Heaven, that these statues and +images and relics could do me no good. They were all +clay and material. What I needed was something divine, +but after living what I had lived, I was now ready to believe +in nothing. I thought that if God was a just God, He +could not and would not permit such oppression and cruelties +and injustices to be perpetrated in the name of Christian +religion and in His name. I decided that if there was +a God who was the Creator of heaven and earth and all +things therein, He would surely hear me if I would pour +out my heart to Him. So I fell upon my knees and prayed<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span> +as I had never prayed before—not to St. Anthony, not +to St. Joseph, not to St. Vincent de Paul, no, not even to +the Blessed Virgin Mary or any other saint, but to God +Almighty, asking Him to show me the light and right; +that "if what I am living is right, give me strength and +courage to live it and endure it to the end, and I will try +to believe it. But, O, God! if it is not right, show me the +right that I may do Thy will; be Thou my helper now and +forever," and I left my future in His hands, continuing +to ask His help and guidance each day.</p> + +<p>I had been suffering for several months from eye trouble, +caused by the excessive cold temperature, it being such +a decided change from what I had been accustomed to for +so many years. I was being treated by the government +physician, but I used the trouble as a pretext to get permission +from Mother Nazareth, who was in Portland, to +go to Spokane to obtain the services of a specialist. The +real reason for which I wished to go to Spokane was to +see Mrs. Kearney and make the final arrangements for my +leaving the community.</p> + +<p>About March 10, 1912, I went to Spokane. During +my three weeks there I stopped at the Sacred Heart Hospital. +Mrs. Kearney was friendly to the sisters of the +hospital, so I had her accompany me to the office of Dr. +Hopkins, who was treating me. In that manner, Mrs. +Kearney and I had ample time to talk and perfect the +plans for my emancipation from the everlasting demands +of Rome.</p> + +<p>When the time came, I could not reconcile myself fully +to the thought of leaving. My childhood and novitiate +teaching of the terrible sins of the outside world would come +to my mind, and I would then think that I could never leave<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span> +the convent. The final test came two days before I left +Spokane for my return trip to Cranbrook. I concluded +that I could not get worse treatment in the world than I +had received in the community; that I would not have to +work any harder in the world than I had for nearly thirty-one +years for the Roman Catholic system; that I would +not have to live a more abasing or humiliating life in the +world than I had been subjected to, by serving the meanest +despotism of government; and I realized that death was +preferable and a thousand times more honorable than to +remain living in this sort of injustice. I loved the name +"Sister of Charity," but I knew I could no longer be a +real Sister of Charity under the cruel, oppressive, authoritative +guidance I had endured for so many years. I knew +that I could be a better Sister of Charity in the world +than I could under the dictation of the Pope or his representatives.</p> + +<p>On April 2d, I returned to Cranbrook to get my few +belongings and to spend a few days with my sister before +making the change. My heart was so filled with what I +had planned, that I could not refrain from telling her +almost as soon as I arrived from Spokane. When I told +her of my decision to leave the order, neither of us could +restrain our feelings and it was a day of tears and sorrow. +We could neither eat nor talk. So in the evening I told +her that I had intended to spend several days with her +before going, but as it would do neither of us any particular +good, only causing grief, sorrow, and in the end +probably nervous prostration, I had decided to leave on the +next train, which was on the following afternoon.</p> + +<p>The next morning I packed my trunk, then called my +sister to my room and asked her to read two letters which<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span> +I had written while in Spokane, excepting for the date, +one to Archbishop Christie and one to Mother Nazareth. +I told her that the authorities and sisters of the order +would come to her with all kinds of reports in regard to +my leaving, and that I wanted her to read the letters so she +would know for herself my reasons for leaving. She read +them and then said, "You will regret this." I simply replied, +"I cannot have more regrets than I have here."</p> + +<p>I had my trunk taken to the railroad station, and after +lunch, in company of my sister, I went to the post office +where I mailed the two letters, sending them by registered +mail. Then we went to the station and in a very few +minutes the train arrived that was to take me from a +darkness to light and liberty that I had no conception of +at that time.</p> + +<p>At 2:15 I boarded the train and left my poor, deluded +sister standing there alone, until the train started, and +then watched her walk slowly toward the hospital, until +I was carried from her view.</p> + +<p>During this last visit to Cranbrook, my sister was in +authority at the hospital, the sister superior, Sister Mary +Vincent, being away on retreat. This I did not know until +I arrived from Spokane, but it would have been just the +same if the superior would have been there, as I had made +up my mind to leave.</p> + +<p>My last letter written to Archbishop Christie, as Sister +Lucretia, was as follows:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span></p> + +<blockquote><p class="right">Cranbrook, B. C.<br /> +St. Eugene Hospital, April 3, 1912.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p> +Most Reverend A. Christie, D.D.,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 8em;">Portland, Oregon.</span><br /> +<br /> +Very Dear Bishop:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I have now had my situation before my eyes and +present to my mind the past eight months. I cannot reconcile +myself to live this punishment existence out, as I know +others of my companions are doing in exiled corners of this +earth, like five-year-old children who dare to speak when +they should have been only seen. Really, this sort of +treatment is equal to locking a grown woman advanced +in years up in a closet as a child for misbehavior. The only +difference the parent would tell the child what its punishment +was for, while the woman in my case is not to be +given a reason, except one false report by my higher superior, +which she heard and held against me years before +she knew me or was in authority, to knock me as she did +shortly after she was in office.</p> + +<p>The mission I was sent to was alright as far as mission +goes, but I will never believe that it was alright to me, +under the circumstances. If this had to be done, the blow +might just as well have been applied with a little less cruelty. +Of all the houses our very prosperous order owns and +controls, I had to go at my years of life to this place +enclosed by snowy mountains, the weather temperature +being twenty to forty degrees below zero about one-half +the year. Having always lived in a warm climate and not +feeling well, I was unable to resist the cold. It caused +me systemic disturbance and the consequence was eye +trouble. The government doctor of the place said the +cold did it.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span></p> + +<p>I had to miss Sunday mass from the first of November +to the first Sunday in March. I had to sit with a blanket +around me near a radiator most of the winter and a comforter +over the window to keep the cold out. Splendid +remedy to get one over wretched loneliness and sorrow—to +make one feel religious and grateful for having worked +and sacrificed ones self nearly to the end of ones life and +then hear from those over you, "now you can work if you +want to," and a sister stays where she is sent, even if she +dies, and more bold talk of that kind.</p> + +<p>I am not tired of being a Sister of Charity, but I am +more than tired living it under the conditions that we have +to live it. I will never be anything else at heart than a +Sister of Charity; I was that from the age of fifteen, and +I will be that to my dying day. It takes nothing short of +a trained hypocrite to get along in here. I do not think +myself so good or of such excellent worth—I lay no claim +above being an ordinary person, but if I do not have the +spirit of a good religious and Sister of Charity, I am sure +not so many of those I have lived with have it, and I +would have to be punished to death, and then I could not +in my conscience copy the leading or guiding spirits I lived +with knowing all I do from daily practical life and experience +for years. If what was done to me in this change +is the good spirit, then I have not the least idea what good +or evil spirits mean. One thing I know it did for me; I +have a dreadful horror of a repetition of anything of the +kind and want to remove myself from its possibility. I was +not only deprived of every right, but of the least share of +interest in any one thing in the community.</p> + +<p>Now you know this is maddening and most cruel and +disheartening. This usage kills the body and all ones personalities +and fitness for anything. They have done to me<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span> +in action what others have been told boldly, in so many +words, when you are not wanted, get out of the way. +After it is plain to see one is about to the end of doing +the very hardest work, the meaning is, hurry up and die +or get out of the order. It has all it wants of you and +is not going to need you or have any further regard +for you.</p> + +<p>I have made up my mind to leave and do what I can +to get a new lease on a home of some sort, because this +means neither home, occupation, nor pastime to me.</p> + +<p>I am asking the community two thousand dollars. That +would be for my clothing and towards getting myself situated +for my support. I cannot expect anyone to take me +in on absolutely nothing at my years. I am not able to +work like a beginner, but with that amount and with what +I can do, I will arrange to get along the best I can.</p> + +<p>I have been the means through my economy and ingenuity, +of much more than that to the community, without +the regular earnings of my services. In Canada, I +was told that our community is paying twenty dollars a +month to some sisters that left, and have been doing that +for years. My request does not come to as much, considering.</p> + +<p>I wish to get everything settled quietly. I dislike any +publicity about it whatever. As soon as I can get it I +intend to leave the country.</p> + +<p>I have asked dispensation, not that I intend to break +any of God's commandments. I cannot tell you how much +I am pained to have to leave you. I have shed many a +tear since I left St. Vincent's, and before I could decide +to write this letter. If I am to be exiled from friends, +that would be only additional sorrow, etc. Or, even if I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span> +were stationed where you are and had to feel the uneasiness +of some punishment coming upon me for speaking +to my higher superiors, that would not add very much to +making things agreeable. I appreciate your very great and +fatherly kindness to me, and I will always remember you +as a very dear friend.</p> + +<p>Begging a remembrance in your prayers,</p> + +<p class="center">Most sincerely,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="right">SISTER LUCRETIA.</p><br /> + +<p>P. S.—I leave here this afternoon at 2 p.m. My address +until things are settled is 0707 Toledo St., Spokane, +Wash.</p></blockquote> + +<p>My letter to Mother Nazareth was as follows:</p> + +<blockquote> +<p class="right">St. Eugene Hospital,<br /> +Cranbrook, B. C., April 3, 1912.</p><br /> +<br /><p> +Mother M. Nazareth,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 8em;">Portland, Oregon.</span><br /> +<br /> +Dear Mother:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I have decided to leave the community. Will you please +see about obtaining the dispensation of my vows. I have +written to His Grace Archbishop Christie.</p> + +<p>If authority is all that is necessary to constitute right, +I think I can continue to save my soul better elsewhere, +as that was what I took these obligations upon myself for. +I am not tired of being a Sister of Charity, but I am +more than tired of living it the way we have to do. I did +not know until last summer that the spirit of a good religious +and Sister of Charity meant to be the victim of +evil reports, and that reports were for the satisfaction of +the feelings of those in authority. I lay no claim to high +perfection, but I cannot see virtue or religion in being<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span> +taken advantage of as I was. I have always tried to do my +best, but at last I see plainly that it is impossible to do +enough or to sacrifice enough. The extreme cold has caused +me systemic disturbance and the result is eye trouble. The +doctor said it was the cold that did it.</p> + +<p>Well, I do not want to refer to too much useless talk. +I have made arrangements with a friend of mine for a +home. But as I cannot expect anyone to take me in on +absolutely nothing at my years, not being able to work any +more like I did twenty-five years ago, I must have some +little means, and I ask two thousand dollars which would +be for my clothing and towards my support. With that +amount and with what little I can do, I will have to manage +somehow.</p> + +<p>I wish to have things settled quietly, if possible, as I +do not care to have publicity about this affair any more +than the community I am leaving. I must have some means +to go out on or I would not ask anything. As soon as I +can get this little sum requested, I will leave the country.</p> + +<p>Begging a remembrance in your prayers, and those of +the community and wishing the community and every one +of the sisters God's blessing,</p> + +<p class="center">Very sincerely and respectfully,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="right">SISTER LUCRETIA,</p><br /> +<p class="right">S. C. S. P.</p><br /> + +<p>P. S.—I leave here at two p.m. My address, until I +get away will be 0707 Toledo St., Spokane, Wash. If I +can get the business part settled as soon as possible, I can +move on. This same address will forward my dispensation +whenever it can be sent to same.</p> + +<p class="center">Humbly yours, Sr. L.</p><br /> +</blockquote><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XIII.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">I Quit the Roman Catholic Church.</span></h3> + + +<p>After I had signed and sent these two letters, copied +in the preceding chapter, to the agents of the ecclesiastical +system, I thought that I had declared the independence of +my personal liberty and freedom. I had not the least intention +of leaving the Church of Rome, as I still believed +that it was the only true church, outside of which there +was no salvation. But before many weeks had passed, conditions +so shaped themselves, through the persecutions of +Rome's representatives, that I decided that the liberty and +freedom I hoped to have gained by leaving the convent, +was not to be found even in the church.</p> + +<p>I arrived in Spokane at nine o'clock on the evening of +April 3, 1912, and went direct to the home of Mrs. Kearney. +She received me very cordially and we had a long talk +before retiring. This first night in the world was a long, +sleepless one for me. Everything seemed reversed, so to +speak, and my heart was heavy from the terrible ordeal +I had endured for the last two days.</p> + +<p>The following morning, April 4th, I discarded the +burdensome garb, that great load of black serge, and +donned a large-flowered kimona, the only other clothes I +had, and this was given me. This was the first day since<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span> +July 30th, 1881, that I had attired myself in any other +than the garb of the Sisters of Charity of the Roman +Catholic system—nearly thirty-one years. My hair, which +was about long enough to hang in my eyes, I tied back with +a pretty little red ribbon, which had been on a candy box.</p> + +<p>On Monday, April 8th, Sister Matilda of St. Vincent's +telephoned to me, saying that she was at the Sacred Heart +Hospital with Mother Nazareth and asked me to come +there to see them. When they could not prevail upon me +to do so, they condescended to come to Mrs. Kearney's to +see me.</p> + +<p>Their visit lasted about three hours. In tears and, +seemingly, great sorrow at my leaving the community, +they tried to get me to return to Cranbrook, saying that +none of the sisters except the superior and my own sister +knew anything about my leaving the order. Our rule says +that if a sister leaves the community of her own free will, +she cannot return without dispensation. So I told Mother +Nazareth that I could not go back, as it was against the +rule. She then handed me a letter from Archbishop Christie +and said that that was my dispensation to return. I +read as follows:</p> + +<blockquote> +<p class="right">Portland, Oregon, April 7, 1912.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p> +Dear Sister:<br /> +</p> + +<p>The contents of your letter was a great shock to me. +I never thought you would give way to the temptation to +leave your order. I have requested Mother N. (Nazareth) +to go and see you.</p> + +<p>You did not become a sister in order to be appreciated +and praised for the talents which God has given you. You +entered religion to do God's work and to save your soul.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span></p> + +<p>Now, sister, return to your convent. Do not allow the +evil one to induce you to leave it. Do as Mother N. +directs to do.</p> + +<p>Asking God to direct and bless you, I am,</p> + +<p class="center">Sincerely in Xto,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="center">X A. CHRISTIE.</p><br /> +</blockquote> + +<p>I flatly refused to do as Archbishop Christie requested. +Mother Nazareth then offered me my choice of the Sacred +Heart Hospital in Spokane, or to return to St. Vincent's +Hospital in Portland. When I refused to go to any house +as a sister, she offered me my choice of any of the houses +of the order, as a home, or boarder, as long as I lived. +I had seen too many poor, old sisters, who had received +a home such as they were offering me, and knew too well +what it meant—"hurry up and get off the face of the +earth"—and so I refused this, seemingly, very lucrative +offer.</p> + +<p>After many more entreaties and the shedding of many +tears, I finally said to these two "holy scheming-spirits" +of the Roman Catholic system, "I am out, and I am out +to stay. If you want someone back, go and take Sister +Zita back or some of the other sisters who are sitting in +the four corners of the community-world doing penance." +(Sister Zita was a poor sister who had left the community +for about the same reasons I had left, after serving the +church for thirty years. She had begged the system to +take her back, but they absolutely refused to do so. Sister +Zita told me this herself, together with some of the terrible +wrongs that had been perpetrated upon her.)</p> + +<p>When they were convinced that I could not be persuaded +to return, they then wanted my garb, saying that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span> +it did not belong to me. I said that I had worn it long +enough, and that I thought I was entitled to keep it. Mother +Nazareth then said, "The community might DEMAND +it." I answered, "DEMAND! That is the word that has +put me where I am, DEMAND. You DEMAND!" (This +conversation led to the naming of my book.)</p> + +<p>At last they were beaten and did not know what course +to pursue. Finally, Mother Nazareth said, "What will +we tell Archbishop Christie?" I said, "Tell him the truth; +tell him what has taken place in this room," and with that +they left.</p> + +<p>On April 9th, "Father" Carti, a Jesuit priest from the +Gonzaga College, came to see me.</p> + +<p>He had been sent to me by the community in regard +to the amount that I had asked in the last letter I had +written them. He told me that the community could not +give the two thousand dollars, as other sisters would leave +and want the same, but that they might give me one +thousand dollars.</p> + +<p>He then asked me to return to the convent, saying that +I did not have dispensation, and that my being out like this +could <i>not</i> be so, and that I was not out in the world. I +looked around to assure myself that I was really out, and +said, "Well, I <i>am</i> out, and I am out to stay." He tried +to convince me that I was in honor bound to go to some +religious house till I would be released from my vows by +the church, naming several Roman Catholic institutions, +lastly, the House of the Good Shepherd. I looked at him +in scorn and repeated, "The House of the Good Shepherd?" +as the sisters of the order of Sisters of Charity always had +a horror for the very name "House of the Good Shepherd." +When he saw how I felt over this, he very quickly offered<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span> +me a home at the Gonzaga College, although that is a +Jesuit institution and, as a general rule, women are not +allowed there. When all his efforts had failed, he said, +in a cunning manner, that as I had trouble in the community, +so I would now have trouble in the world.</p> + +<p>I did not realize the significance of this statement at +that time—I think Rome's representative had slipped a little—but +in the few years to follow I have surely understood +the full meaning of it. That is a very true Jesuitical +teaching of the Roman Catholic System—Rome rule or ruin.</p> + +<p>I told this "holy father" that the community had sent +him to see me on business, and that I did not need his +exhortation. The business was soon over, I refusing all +his offers of every nature, and he retired.</p> + +<p>On Thursday, April 11th, Sister Rita visited me. We +had as pleasant a time as could be expected under the +circumstances. She informed me as to the scandalous +manner Mother Nazareth and Sister Matilda had found +me dressed when they visited me—"with a flowered kimona +and a red ribbon around my hair." She said that they +had told Archbishop Christie about it. She also told me +that the sisters at St. Vincent's were praying and had forty +candles burning for my return.</p> + +<p>I read her a copy of my letter for redress to Archbishop +Christie, which I had mailed August 28, 1911. She was +much surprised that he had not answered, and could not +hold him free from blame for the awful wrongs, as he +had the authority to right them if he cared to. She endeavored +to get my garb, saying that I had no further use +for it, but I was continually on my guard, knowing that +even my dear, good friend and former "chum," Sister Rita, +could not go beyond the Roman dictation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span></p> + +<p>The first Sunday after I had left the convent was +Easter Sunday, but I could not go to mass, as I did not +have any clothing except "the flowered kimona." By the +second Sunday, April 14th, with the assistance of Mrs. +Kearney, I had secured sufficient clothes to be attired fairly +respectable, and I decided that I would go to church. I did +not care to be conspicuous, or to mix with the people very +much, as I was not accustomed to the ways of the world +as yet, so I decided to go to Hilyard, a suburb of Spokane, +to hear "holy mass" and the sermon.</p> + +<p>During the entire service, it all seemed darker and more +stupid than at any time during my past life. I thought it +was due to the newness of my present life, and I left the +church in silence.</p> + +<p>On Saturday morning, April 20th, Sister Rita came to +visit me for the second time since I had left. As she entered +the door she said that this time she had taken it upon herself +to come and see her dear friend, Sister Lucretia, and that +she was going to stay with me till Sunday night.</p> + +<p>Think of it, people, how Rome was using this dear, +good friend of mine to do its work. I still had enough +Roman Catholicism embedded in my heart and mind to +watch her, even at night, sleeping with one eye open, so +to speak. My suspicions were so strong that I had my +few belongings moved to safe-keeping during her stay +with me.</p> + +<p>She told me that I did not look right in civilian clothes, +and that I could never look as nice in any other as the +sister's garb. She tried to induce me to clothe myself as +a sister again and return with her, saying that she could +get the consent of the ecclesiastical authorities and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span> +superiors of the community for us to take a trip to Rome +and other parts of Europe.</p> + +<p>This was a mighty temptation to me, as I had wished +many times to see the Vatican and visit the Pope, but I +knew that if I accepted this offer I would have to return +to the community, and now, as I was out, I was determined +to stay; so I told her that I could not accept the +offer, as I did not intend to return to the sisterhood. Many +times since, I have looked back to this visit of Sister Rita, +and concluded that some guiding hand, some power, greater +and mightier than my own, was directing my actions and +decisions on the great temptations that were being placed +before me.</p> + +<p>On Monday, April 22d, Mother Nazareth and Sister +Matilda came to see me again. Mother Nazareth told me +that I was living in mortal sin every day for not having +dispensation from my vows. I told her that it was through +no fault of my own, as I was waiting for them to get my +dispensation. She then took a long document from her +pocket, asking me to sign it for my dispensation. I looked +at it and informed her that it was written in Latin and +that I did not understand Latin sufficiently to sign my +name to a document written in that language. She then +handed me another document, and upon examination, I +found that it was written in French. I told her that I +did not understand French sufficiently to sign my name to +it, and asked her to explain it to me. (I knew from former +association with her and Sister Matilda that neither of +them could read French or Latin.) Without any explanation +she handed me the third document. This one was +written in English. I asked them to excuse me for a minute +and I went to an adjoining room, where, in the pres<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span>ence +of Mrs. Kearney, I copied the following, which was +under the heading on the document, "Reasons for leaving +the Order":</p> + +<p>"Community life has become wearisome to me, and, +therefore, it interferes with the saving of my soul. I am +convinced that it is best for me to return to the world."</p> + +<p>I returned to the room where the two sisters were and +handed them the document, informing them that I could +not sign it, as it did not contain the reasons for my leaving +the order, as I had never been weary a day in my life. I +told them that they both knew the reasons for which I left, +and, if they did not, they could find them in my letter to +the community which was written when I left the order. +"Such lies!" I said, "Why can't you be honest? I can +send my own reasons to Rome and get dispensation for +myself when I get ready."</p> + +<p>Two days later, "Father" Carti came to see me for +the second time, with practically the same message as +before, viz., to return to the community and in regards to +settlement of my claims against them.</p> + +<p>The next day, Thursday, April 25th, "Father" Carti +telephoned to me and asked me to come to the Gonzaga +College, so we could talk further in regard to the settlement +and if possible, come to some agreement.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Kearney accompanied me to the college, and +when "Father" Carti saw that I had a witness, he asked, +"Do you want this woman to hear what we have to say?" +I answered, "Yes, I want her to hear whatever is said." +He hinted that there would be no business transacted in +her company, so we left.</p> + +<p>From the college I called on my attorney, whom I had<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span> +retained as my adviser, and he advised me to give them +till the first of May to settle for two thousand dollars. On +returning home, I telephoned to "Father" Carti, and informed +him that I had been to see my attorney since I left +the college and that I would give them (the community) +until the first of May to settle for the two thousand dollars +I originally asked; and that in the future all business +was to be transacted through my attorney, as I was not +physically able to attend to it myself, being on the verge +of nervous collapse. He was very angry, saying that I +was wrong and had no business to go to secular law +(meaning a secular attorney) and that we could have +settled it ourselves.</p> + +<p>I had been out of the sisterhood nearly four weeks, +and had attended church only once, so now I thought I +would take up my religion again and attend mass and church +service. So, on Sunday, April 28th, I again went to Hilyard +and heard the Latin mass and the priest preach. During +the sermon I was looking at the statues and other religious +show in the church, and then and there, in that house, +being used for so-called religious services, God revealed +Himself to me. The whole show really was nauseating to +me, and before the sermon was finished I retired as quietly +as I could. I had heard of the idols and images of the +Chinese Joss-house, and that is just as it appeared to me +that day. When I arrived home, I told Mrs. Kearney to +not awaken me again for mass, unless I told her to do so.</p> + +<p>The following week, Mrs. Kearney came to me and told +me that "Father" Carti had told her to put me out of her +house, that by keeping me there it would hurt her with +the sisters, the priests and the Roman Catholics. My answer +was that I had left the sisterhood because of the +wrongs and oppressive, tyrannical treatment; now I see<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span> +that there is something wrong with that religion, too. If +they are going to follow and hound and down me, I am +through with them, and I do not want anything further +to do with any of them. I also told her that if anything +happened me, or if I got sick, to call the first Protestant +minister she could find.</p> + +<p>This instance, together with the persecutions that had +been going on since I had been out of the sisterhood, caused +me to decide conclusively in my own mind that I did not +want anything to do with them.</p> + +<p>I had been a Roman Catholic up to that moment, and +had given them no cause to treat me in that manner, other +than having left the sisterhood, as many sisters do, but +now they did not care what became of me. Mrs. Kearney +was the only friend I had in Spokane to whom I could go +and this was probably the last subterfuge of the Hierarchy +to force me back to their clutches.</p> + +<p>So I became a Protestant, not in reality for some time, +but I was no longer a Roman Catholic.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XIV.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Form for Dispensation of the "Holy" Vows—My Suit +and Settlement With the Sisters of Charity.</span></h3> + + +<p>I was informed by Mrs. Kearney that Mother Nazareth +had given her fifty dollars so she could purchase some +clothes for me. This was a princely sum, after all the +years of service I had given them. I have never been +able to figure in my own mind, whether this was supposed +to be a settlement or whether it was some of the charity +the sisters were supposed to do.</p> + +<p>Yes, they are called "Sisters of Charity," but with all +my experience with them I now have to rack my brain to +find the charity done by the Roman Catholic system, through +them. If some person died at the hospital and left some +clothes that were not claimed by anyone, they would be +given to some poor person and call it "charity." If some +patient could not or would not pay all of their bill, it would +be entered in the books as "charity." But, God forbid that +I should blame the poor sisters for what they do <i>not do</i>. It +is the sisters who do the charity—not for the poor people—but +for the church, by giving their life's service. It is their +bounden duty to do as they are told, and their troubles +are great enough without me adding to their heavy load.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span> +On the other hand, may God speed the day when the +system, which holds these poor women, as it had me for +thirty-one years, will be investigated by the proper authorities; +and when this comes to pass, we need have no fear +of the outcome.</p> + +<p>After Mother Nazareth's last visit to me, and when she +was convinced that I would do generally as I saw fit in +regard to the dispensation from my vows, I received the +following in due time:</p> + +<p class="right">St. Vincent's Hospital,<br /> +Portland, Oregon, May 10, 1912.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p>Miss Elizabeth Schoffen,<br /> +Spokane, Washington.<br /> +<br /> +Dear Miss Schoffen:<br /> +</p> + +<p>Enclosed you will find form to guide you in petitioning +for the dispensation of your holy vows. Copy it upon +paper found herein, and fill out No. 2 according to your +desire.</p> + +<p>Please return as soon as possible, as it has to be signed +by the Superiors before going to Rome.</p> + +<p class="center">Most sincerely yours,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="right">SR. M. NAZARETH.</p><br /> + +<p>The form to guide me in petitioning "His Holiness" +was:</p> + +<p> +To His Holiness Pius X:<br /> +Most Holy Father:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I, the undersigned, a sister of the Institute of the +Daughters of Charity, Servants of the Poor, of Montreal, +Canada, respectfully submit to your Holiness the following:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span></p> + +<p> +1.—I am fifty-one years of age and professed (vocal)<br /> +twenty-nine years.<br /> +<br /> +2.—Here sister may give her reasons herself, to suit<br /> +her own disposition. She is perfectly free...........<br /> +.....................................................<br /> +.....................................................<br /> +.....................................................<br /> +<br /> +3.—In consequence I humbly suplicate Your Holiness<br /> +to give me dispensation from my vows of poverty, chastity<br /> +and obedience, and to grant me permission to live in the<br /> +world in secular habit.<br /> +<br /> +Spokane, Washington, this ........ (date) ........ 1912.<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 2em;">(Sign) Sister Lucretia, nee Elizabeth Schoffen.</span><br /> +</p> + +<p>Notice it says, "She is perfectly free." Yes, I was "perfectly +free" after the agents of "His Holiness" found out +in plain words spoken by me that I was through answering +to their demands. I was "perfectly free," and yet in the +next breath, according to the Roman Catholic idea, I <i>had</i> +to have permission from an Italian Pope even to wear the +common clothes of an American citizen. Think of it, dear +reader, I was an American born citizen, under the protection +of the laws of this country; but because I had been +born and raised a Roman Catholic, and then induced to +take the vows of the Roman Catholic sisterhood, I <i>had</i> no +rights as an American citizen, and had to have the permission +of this self-styled "infallible" pope before I could live +like other people live. I might say right here, that I have +never applied for, and consequently have never received +the dispensation from my vows as a sister in the Roman +Catholic Church, as I soon learned after I left that organization +that the Church of Rome had no right in the first<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span> +place to deprive me of the liberties guaranteed every citizen +of this country.</p> + +<p>The authorities of the Roman Catholic system will tell +the civil authorities and the Protestants that the adherents +of the Roman Catholic Church are citizens first and Roman +Catholics second. But that is not according to the inner +teaching of that system. Read what one of their own +representatives, the late "Father" D. S. Phelan, has said, +when speaking from his own "throne":</p> + +<p>"They tell us that we think more of the church than +we do of the United States; of course we do. Why, if +the government of the United States were at war with the +church, we would say tomorrow, to hell with the government +of the United States; and if the church and all the +governments of the world were at war, we would say, to +hell with all the governments of the world. They say we +are Catholics first and Americans decidedly afterwards. +There is no doubt about it.... The Catholics of the +world are Catholics first and always; they are Americans, +they are Germans, they are French, or they are English +afterwards." (The Patriots Manual, as copied from the +Western Watchman, issue of June 27, 1912.)</p> + +<p>Think on these points, my dear American friend! Use +the brain which God has given you, and decide for yourself +if an institution such as the Roman Catholic system +is an American institution. Have we room within our +borders for any other than that which will uphold our laws, +and fight, if need be, for the protection of the principles +upon which this great democracy is builded?</p> + +<p>As I have previously stated, I told the community that +I would give them until May 1st to settle with me for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span> +two thousand dollars. This they refused to do, so my +attorney wrote as follows:</p> + +<blockquote> +<p class="right">Spokane, Wash., May 2, 1912.</p> + +<p> +Mother M. Nazareth, Prov. Sup.,<br /> +St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Oregon.<br /> +<br /> +Dear Madam:<br /> +</p> + +<p>We have placed in our hands for settlement the matter +of Sister Lucretia, which we are informed you are familiar +with. If this matter can be settled for twenty thousand +dollars, we are in a position to settle it, and if not attended +to at once, we will take such steps as may become necessary +to enforce settlement at once.</p> + +<p class="center">Yours very truly,</p><br /> +<p class="right">SCOTT & CAMPBELL.</p><br /> +</blockquote> + +<p>The community made no favorable reply to the above +communication, so it was decided that I, with my attorney, +Mr. Scott, would go to Portland, to look into the matter +of filing suit against them for salary due me for my services +at St. Vincent's Hospital.</p> + +<p>In the Spokesman Review (a Spokane daily) there +appeared two articles about the case, issue of June 9, 1912. +The first article was a lengthy one, discussing in general +the case, and containing a statement obtained from me. +The second, a dispatch from Portland, I will reprint. It +will explain itself:</p> + +<blockquote><p><i>SUPERIOR SURPRISED AT SUIT.</i></p> + +<p><i>Hospital Head Gives Sister Lucretia High Testimonial.</i></p> + +<p>Portland, Ore., June 8.—Sister Alexander, superior at +St. Vincent's Hospital, was surprised to learn from Spokane<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span> +tonight that Sister Lucretia threatened proceedings against +the order, and gave Sister Lucretia a high testimonial for +her work while at the hospital.</p> + +<p>"Sister Lucretia severed her connections with the hospital +and with the Sisters of Charity last April," said Sister +Alexander. "She was dissatisfied at having been assigned +to another field of labor, that at St. Eugene's Hospital +at Cranbrook, B. C., after having served in Portland so +long.</p> + +<p>"There was nothing improper in her leaving, as she +was free to leave the order if she choose. She did not +express any hostile feelings toward the sisters, however, and +seemed to have been perfectly satisfied with her treatment. +I have been in touch with her up to a few weeks ago and +have received no intimation of her intention to bring suit.</p> + +<p>"I cannot imagine on what grounds she bases her contention. +She was an excellent nurse while at the hospital +and was well and favorably known about the city."</p> + +<p>Before entering the order, Sister Lucretia's home was +near Spokane, and she has been at St. Vincent's Hospital +here almost the entire time of her sisterhood.</p></blockquote> + +<p>On June 10th I donned my sisterhood garb, and in +company with Mr. Scott, went to Portland. The reason +for my wearing the garb again, was that I had a clerical +half-fare railroad book, which had been given to me by +the community for my use, and as I had not received my +dispensation, I was still a sister and was entitled to wear +the garb of the Roman Catholic sisterhood, if I so choose.</p> + +<p>During my entire sisterhood I had always traveled either +half-fare, or on a pass which would generally be made out +for the superior and her companion. The sisters were<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span> +trained to imitate the hand-writing of the sisters in whose +names the passes or half-fare books were issued, so they +could sign the name appearing on these passes or half-fare +books. At retreat time these passes and books were kept +busy, carrying sisters one way, and then returned by mail +for others to travel on.</p> + +<p>I remember once when I was traveling on Mother +Theresa's pass, and after I had signed her name, the conductor +who knew both Mother Theresa and myself, came +to me in a good-natured, smiling manner and said that I +was a rather young-looking Mother Theresa.</p> + +<p>I returned to Spokane, June 18th, again using the half-fare +book. The authorities of the Roman Hierarchy may +deny that I had this clergy half-fare book, but I might +say right here, let them deny! I still have the book with +forty-two tickets in it, good only in the year 1912, and +with the stamp of the Trans-Continental Clergy Bureau, +January 27, 1912, and even the Roman Catholic Hierarchy +cannot deny that I was a sister in good standing in January, +1912.</p> + +<p>On July 21st I bade adieu to Spokane. I had just +boarded the train when a priest, whom I had never seen +before, came to me and began to question me as to where +I was going, who I was, etc. This was the first time I had +been alone since I had been out of the sisterhood, and +whether this was an accidental meeting or whether he was +sent purposely I am unable to say. I answered his questions, +and then asked him his name. He told me "Father +Cronin." While he did not annoy me on the journey +to Portland, I was very suspicious, and was very careful +that he did not have a chance to get any of my few<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span> +belongings, as I had some very valuable papers in my +suitcase.</p> + +<p>Mrs. Kearney had come to Portland before and had +made arrangements for hotel accommodations.</p> + +<p>The law firm of Kollock and Zollinger were my representatives +in Portland, arrangements having been previously +made by Mr. Scott with them.</p> + +<p>My complaint against the Sisters of Charity having +been completed, I signed it on the twenty-fourth day of +July, 1912, and it was duly filed in the Circuit Court of +Multnomah County.</p> + +<blockquote><p class="center"><i>COPY OF COMPLAINT.</i></p> + +<p class="center"><i>In the Circuit Court of the State of Oregon for Multnomah +County.</i></p> + +<p> +Elizabeth Schoffen, Plaintiff, )<br /> +vs. )<br /> +Sisters of Charity of Providence, St.) COMPLAINT<br /> +Vincent's Hospital, a corporation, )<br /> + Defendant.)<br /> +</p> + +<p>Comes now the plaintiff herein and for cause of action +against defendant alleges:</p> + +<p class="center">I.</p> + +<p>That defendant is a corporation, incorporated, organized +and existing under and by virtue of the laws of the State +of Oregon;</p> + +<p class="center">II.</p> + +<p>That at the special instance and request of the defendant +the plaintiff performed work and labor for the defendant<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span> +as a nurse at, in and about the hospital owned and operated +by the defendant in the City of Portland, County of Multnomah +and State of Oregon, known and described as St. +Vincent's Hospital, from and about July 7, 1893, to and +including the first day of July, 1899;</p> + +<p class="center">III.</p> + +<p>That from and after the 1st day of July, 1899, to and +including July 26, 1911, the plaintiff performed work and +labor for the defendant as nurse and manager and superintendent +of a floor in the hospital owned and operated by +the defendant in the City of Portland, County of Multnomah +and State of Oregon;</p> + +<p class="center">IV.</p> + +<p>That during all of said period of the time the account +between plaintiff and defendant was an open, mutual and +current account, and that plaintiff continuously performed +work and labor during said period for the defendant, and +defendant during said period furnished and gave to the +plaintiff clothing and board and lodging;</p> + +<p class="center">V.</p> + +<p>That the reasonable value of the services rendered by +plaintiff to defendant as a nurse, between July 7, 1893, and +the 1st day of July, 1899, over and above and in addition +to the clothing and board and lodging furnished by defendant +to plaintiff was and is the sum of $100.00 per month; +that the reasonable value of the services rendered and work +and labor performed by plaintiff for defendant as nurse +and manager or superintendent of the floor in the hospital +owned and operated by the defendant, from the 1st day of +July, 1899, to and including July 26, 1911, over and above +and in addition to the clothing and board and lodging fur<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span>nished +and given by the defendant to the plaintiff during +the said period, was and is the sum of $150.00 per month;</p> + +<p class="center">VI.</p> + +<p>That the plaintiff has demanded of defendant payment +of said sums, but the defendant has wholly failed, refused +and neglected to pay same or any part thereof, and that +there is now due and owing from defendant to plaintiff, +on account thereof the sum of $28,800.00.</p> + +<p>WHEREFORE, plaintiff prays for judgment against +the defendant in the sum of $28,800.00, together with the +costs and disbursements herein.</p> + +<p class="center"> +SCOTT & COMPBELL,<br /> +KOLLOCK & ZOLLINGER,<br /> +Attorneys for Plaintiff.<br /> +</p> + +<p> +STATE OF OREGON,<br /> +County of Multnomah—ss.<br /> +</p> + +<p>I, Elizabeth Schoffen, being first duly sworn, depose +and say that I am the plaintiff in the above action; and +the foregoing complaint is true as I verily believe.</p> + +<p class="right"> +(Signed) ELIZABETH SCHOFFEN.<br /> +</p> + +<p>Subscribed and sworn to before me this 24th day of +July, 1912.</p> + +<p class="right"> +(Signed) JOHN K. KOLLOCK,<br /> +</p> + +<p> +(Seal) </p><p class="right">Notary Public for the State of Oregon.</p><br /> +</blockquote> + +<p>The summons was served on the Sisters of Charity and +on Sister Alexander personally, on July 28, 1912, according +to the record of the sheriff's office. Soon after this, +and several other times before the answer to the complaint<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span> +was filed, which was nearly four months later, the attorneys +for the defendants endeavored to settle for various amounts +up to $1,500.00. The answer to the complaint was as +follows:</p> + +<blockquote><p class="center"><i>In the Circuit Court of the State of Oregon for Multnomah +County.</i></p> + +<p> +Elizabeth Schoffen, Plaintiff, )<br /> +vs. )<br /> +Sisters of Charity of Providence, St. ) ANSWER<br /> +Vincent's Hospital, a corporation, v )<br /> + Defendant.)<br /> +</p> + +<p>Now comes the defendant and answers the complaint +herein as follows:</p> + +<p>Admits that it is a corporation organized and existing +under and by virtue of the laws of the State of Oregon.</p> + +<p>Save as herein admitted, defendant denies each and +every allegation of the complaint.</p> + +<p>Further answering, defendant alleges that its incorporation +was effected by and on behalf of members of a +charitable and religious organization known as "Sisters of +Charity of the House of Providence in the Territory of +Washington," and that its affairs during all the time stated +in the complaint have been managed and are still managed +by and through the said religious organization acting +through the medium of the corporation. Said organization +has been engaged during all the time stated in the complaint +and is still engaged in charitable and religious work, +conducting, among other institutions, a hospital in the City +of Portland, State of Oregon.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span></p> + +<p>Prior to the 7th day of July, 1893, plaintiff applied to +the members of said religious organization to be admitted +as a member thereof, for the purpose of gaining the spiritual +advantages accruing to the members thereof, and for +the purpose of engaging in religious and charitable work +with the members of said religious organization. On some +day prior to said 7th day of July, 1893, the plaintiff, upon +such application, was admitted to membership in said religious +organization and has been engaged since that time +and up to the 26th day of July, 1911, in religious and +charitable work with the members of said organization, +including work in and about the care of the sick at the +said St. Vincent's Hospital in the City of Portland, Oregon.</p> + +<p>At the time when plaintiff applied for membership in +said religious community, and at the time she was admitted +as a member thereof, and during all of the time plaintiff +continued to be a member thereof, and during all the time +plaintiff was engaged in such religious and charitable work +aforesaid, it was distinctly understood by plaintiff and her +acceptance into said religious community and the permission +to engage in charitable and religious work, with the +members of said religious community, through the medium +of the corporation defendant herein, and otherwise was +based upon the distinct and expressed understanding that +no pecuniary reward or financial return of any kind whatsoever +was to be paid to plaintiff for any work done at +the instance of the members of said religious community, +or at the instance of the corporation defendant herein, or +for any services of any kind in any manner connected with +the work of said religious organization and of the corporation, +the defendant, herein.</p> + +<p>Wherefore, defendant demands that plaintiff take noth<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span>ing +by this action, and that it has judgment for costs and +its disbursements.</p> + +<p class="right"> +M. M. CONNOR,<br /> +CAREY & KERR,<br /> +Attorneys for Defendant.<br /> +</p> + +<p> +STATE OF OREGON,<br /> +County of Multnomah—ss.<br /> +</p> + +<p>I, Sister Alexander, being first duly sworn, depose and +say that I am an officer, to wit., Superioress of the defendant +in the above entitled action; that I have read the foregoing +answer, know the contents thereof, and believe the +same to be true.</p> + +<p class="right"> +SISTER ALEXANDER.<br /> +</p> + +<p>Subscribed and sworn to before me this 15th day of +November, 1912.</p> + +<p> +(Seal) </p><p class="right">M. M. CONNOR,</p><br /> +<p class="right">Notary Public for Oregon.</p><br /> +</blockquote> + +<p>I have explained throughout this book the kind of +"religious and charitable" work I was engaged in. Very +true, as stated in the above document, when I entered, I +believed, as I was taught by the priest and sisters, that the +most certain way to save my soul was by entering the +convent and living a good, pure, "holy" life as a "virgin +spouse of the church and Christ," and, if possible, to become +a great "saint" so that I might secure a high place +in Heaven among the "saints" and near our Lord. But, +the spiritual benefits I derived were that I was compelled +by the teachings and practices of the Roman Catholic convent +system to be an unwilling hypocrite, and in the end +had to seek religion and consolation out of the convent and +the Roman Catholic Church.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span></p> + +<p>My suit against the community was evidently causing +them much discomfort, as the attorneys for the defendant, +several times during the winter offered to settle, but for +such small amounts that I could not accept. By spring they +had reached the sum of three thousand dollars, and asked +me to pay my attorneys from that amount. This I refused, +as I believed I could force them to pay more than that if +the case would come to court. I knew at least that I could +cause them very much uneasiness.</p> + +<p>By March, I was offered three thousand dollars, and +the Sisters of Charity promised to pay my attorneys' fee. +My attorneys and myself conferred in this matter, and as +I was nearly destitute, I thought it best to take what I +could get and have the strain off my mind, and I authorized +Mr. Scott and Mr. Kollock to notify the defendant's attorneys +that I would accept their offer. So, on March 15, +1913, I received from the Sisters of Charity of Providence, +through their representatives, the sum of three thousand +dollars for thirty-one years of service to them. My attorneys' +fee was fifteen hundred dollars, which was promptly +paid. So it cost the Roman Catholic Hierarchy the sum of four +thousand five hundred dollars ($4,500.00) for the service +I had given them, and to keep the case out of court and +the publicity of the same, which would have been a bankruptcy +producer for St. Vincent's Hospital.</p> + +<p>A great deal has been said by the Roman Catholics +about the <i>large</i> sum of money the church paid me after I +left the sisterhood. I will agree with my Roman Catholic +friends that the amount I received from the community +was a magnificent sum, when seen in <i>silver dollar pieces</i>. +But, if they will consider the thirty-one years' service I +gave them, they will very readily see that I received just<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span> +about one dollar and eighty-six cents ($1.86) a week, most +of the time nursing and managing one of the floors of St. +Vincent's Hospital. A nurse in the world ordinarily is paid +twenty-five dollars a week; now my good Roman Catholic +"knocker," compare that with the "large" sum I received. +If the service of a nurse is worth that amount, why is a +sister-nurse not worth just as much, if she does the work +required or more?</p> + +<p>I am not complaining about the pay I received. I feel +that I am repaid, <i>not in dollars and cents</i>, but in experience. +I am only too thankful to think that I saw the folly +of the whole system in time to be free before I would +be called upon to face my Maker, and I trust and pray that +in His great judgment, He may give me strength and health +and wisdom for many years to come that I may be able to +tell my story to those in darkness and indifference.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_181.png" width="700" height="278" alt="Fac-simile of Check I Received from Attorneys for Sisters of Charity, as Payment for +Thirty-one Years' Service Rendered to Them." title="" /> +<p class="caption">Fac-simile of Check I Received from Attorneys for Sisters of Charity, as Payment for +Thirty-one Years' Service Rendered to Them.</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XV.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">My Recommendation From the Doctors of Portland—The +Good Samaritan—I Affiliate With a +Protestant Church—My New Work.</span></h3> + + +<p>When I came to Portland, and before I had settled +with the community, I decided that I would try to make +my living by nursing, as that was practically all I knew.</p> + +<p>I had my diploma to show that I was a graduated nurse, +that is, so the diploma said, and in addition to that I received +the signatures of eighty-eight physicians of Portland, +recommending me as an efficient nurse, so I thought +I had sufficient proof that I was capable to do at least +ordinary nursing.</p> + +<p>My recommendation from the physicians was as follows:</p> + +<p class="right"> +Portland, Oregon, July 31, 1912.<br /> +</p> + +<p>THIS IS TO CERTIFY that we, the undersigned, +physicians and surgeons in the City of Portland, Oregon, +have been well acquainted for many years with Elizabeth +Schoffen, otherwise known as Sister Lucretia, and have +been thoroughly familiar with her work as a nurse and +member of the order of Sisters of Charity of Providence<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span> +at St. Vincent's Hospital in the City of Portland; that in +our opinion she is a thoroughly competent nurse;</p> + +<p>That for a number of years prior to July, 1911, she +was in charge of one of the floors at St. Vincent's Hospital, +and was an efficient and capable superintendent and officer; +that to the best of our knowledge and belief, while a nurse +at St. Vincent's Hospital and particularly while in charge +of one of the floors, she performed faithfully and efficiently +all duties entrusted to her by the management of the +hospital and by the doctors who came in contact with her.</p> + +<p>As I have stated above, I received the signatures of +eighty-eight prominent physicians and surgeons of Portland +to this document, the original of which I have in safe-keeping.</p> + +<p>With these recommendations and the promise of several +of the physicians who were prominent at St. Vincent's that +they would help me get started in my work, I opened a +nursing home in East Portland with a friend nurse, in +September.</p> + +<p>Nearly every day during the fall and winter I went in +search of work—most of the time walking, as nickels were +not very plentiful—visiting the doctors' offices, hoping +against hope that I might induce them to send a few +patients to the Home.</p> + +<p>During the winter we just about made expenses. As +yet, I had a very faint idea of how the Roman Catholic +boycott was influencing the pubic—probably not openly, but +influencing it just the same, so that people were afraid to +come to the Home, or to send anyone there. By the end +of winter I realized that I could not succeed in this manner, +but, nevertheless, I put forth every effort.</p> + +<p>It had been almost a year since I had left the Romish +institution. I had not become accustomed to the ways of +the world sufficiently to know how to search for work<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span> +intelligently. I was completely "down and out," not knowing +what to do to make my living except to nurse, and +I had been a failure at that up to this time, being unable +to obtain the work. My sorrow weighed upon my mind +and heart, which was already broken and crushed by the +awful Romish convent cruelty and oppression. No priest, +no sister, nor was ever a messenger from any of their so-called +"religious and charitable" institutions, sent to me +to do a kind turn whatever. After thirty-one years of +service to the Roman Catholic System, it seemed to me +that the hardest and harshest of masters, not of hell itself, +would have shown me a little mercy.</p> + +<p>It was in this condition that, one day in the late winter +I had been out from early in the morning, walking the +streets in quest of some honest employment that I might +keep body and soul together. My clothing was very thin; +my feet nearly bare. I arrived <i>home</i> about nine o'clock +in the evening, tired and disappointed from the day's unsuccessful +effort, as I had done many other nights. Had +I been successful, it would have helped the woman I was +with just as much as it would have helped me, and it +would only be natural to think that she would have been +very anxious to know about the day's result. But, quite +to the contrary, when I arrived home this particular evening +the doors were all locked against me, and by a woman +who pleased to call herself Protestant. And I wish it plainly +understood that this was not a warm summer night, but +just the opposite, a cold, dark, wintry night in the latter +part of February. Could anyone blame me for believing +the terrible stories I had heard about Protestant people +while I was in the convent?</p> + +<p>I made my presence known by knocking on the door, +but this lady who was comfortably warm in her bed did +not condescend to stir herself to admit me. I found a window<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span> +which was not locked and I entered by climbing through +it. When she saw that I was inside she asked, "How did +you get in?" Indeed, I will never forget that question. +Imagine, if you can, the feeling I had. There were six +vacant beds in the house that night, but with the unwelcome +feeling which was implied by her actions and talk, I +did not retire, but laid on the sofa in the clothes I had +worn during the day, as I did for several nights to follow. +Shame, shame on such Protestant people! To my sorrow I +have found many who have the same spirit that this lady +had. She evidently did not care what became of me. If +she did not want me there, why did she not tell me? No, +she would rather break what little spirits I had remaining.</p> + +<p>In the meantime, I had made the acquaintance of two +real Protestant people, Mr. and Mrs. E. U. Morrison. I +went to Mrs. Morrison the following morning and told her +about the above incident. She told me that I did not have +to endure this kind of treatment, and that, if I wished, I +could move to her home, and that as long as she had a +crust of bread it would be shared with me. I accepted +her very kind offer, and moved a few days later, March +1st. From that day till now, they have been the Good +Samaritan to me, always the same in all kindness and +Christian spirit. All I am, all I have today, I owe it, to +a certain extent, to these good people, Mr. and Mrs. Morrison. +"For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat; I +was thirsty, and ye gave me drink; I was a stranger, and +ye took me in; naked, and ye clothed me; I was sick, and +ye visited me; I was in prison, and ye came unto me." +Matt. 25:35, 36.</p> + +<p>In all my trouble and sorrow of moving, and settling +with the sisters, there were many instances which I now +look upon with much amusement. I remember about the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span> +first thing that happened when I arrived at Mrs. Morrison's +home. She came to my room and asked me if I +wanted "to eat with the family or eat by myself or how I +wanted to eat." There were several men there, and I +had never eaten with a man, except once when I was with +Mrs. Kearney in Spokane, since I left my home in 1881. +I thought for a moment and then I told Mrs. Morrison that +I was not accustomed to eating with men, but that I would +try it. It was a very peculiar feeling that came over me +the first time I sat at the table with them, but I soon became +acquainted and felt very much at home. When I would +go to the dining-room, I would very often say, "Well, I +used to go to mass, now I go to mess."</p> + +<p>As the days and weeks passed by, I more and more +realized that the great hand of God was directing me in +all my movements. Even though my short experience out +of the shadow of the convent cross had not been a success, +so to speak, yet it was preparing me for the days to follow. +God was very good to me, and my sentiments cannot be +better expressed than my repeating that wonderful twenty-third +Psalm: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. +He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth +me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul; He +leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His name's +sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow +of death I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy +rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a +table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou +anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely +goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my +life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."</p> + +<p>I visited a great many Protestant ministers, asking them +to explain different parts of the Bible to me, and they all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span> +received me and treated me very courteously. I started +studying God's Word as revealed by Christ in the New +Testament, and the more I read and studied, the more I +became convinced that the religion I had been living all +my life was not the religion of a Christ "crucified, dead and +buried" for the salvation of poor, fallen mankind.</p> + +<p>The Scriptures are replete with teachings that conflict +with the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, which +are traditional and a great many of them are taken from +religions other than Christianity.</p> + +<p>"And call no man your father upon the earth: for one +is your Father, which is in heaven." Matt. 23:9.</p> + +<p>"We have one Father, even God." John 8:41.</p> + +<p>These, and many more verses of the like, show conclusively +that it was never intended that the priests of the +church of Rome should be called "father," for God is our +spiritual Father, and the Good Book does not lie.</p> + +<p>"Now the Spirit speaketh expressly that in the latter +times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to +seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; speaking lies in +hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; +forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from +meats, which God has created to be received with thanksgiving +of them which believe and know the truth. For +every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, +if it be received with thanksgiving: for it is sanctified by +the word of God and prayer." 1st Timothy 4:1, 5.</p> + +<p>All my life I had lied in hypocrisy, not that I wanted +to, but just what the Roman Catholic system had made of +me by their hypocritical teachings, such as the "Johnny +Morgan" story; and my conscience had been seared many, +many times with a hot iron. Who forbids to marry but<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span> +the Roman Catholic system? Who commands to abstain +from eating meat but the Roman Catholic system on Fridays, +ember days and during Lent?</p> + +<p>The Protestant people that I came in contact with from +time to time was not the class of people that the Roman +Catholic system had pictured to me—they were refined, +educated and, above all, charitable. I attended Protestant +churches, and heard sermons preached from the Word of +God according to Christ's teaching—with the man-made +Latin mass missing.</p> + +<p>At last, I learned that I was to be saved by faith and +not by penance. "Therefore being justified by faith, we +have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." +Romans 5:1. I also learned that there was no mediator +between God and man, except Jesus Christ as I have +explained under the heading "Confession," and that if I +would confess my sins to Him, He would forgive me and +help me. So I gave myself to His keeping, and on Sunday, +April 20, 1913, I was baptized into the Protestant faith—which +was the happiest day of all my life.</p> + +<p>The following Sunday I became a member of that church +and have been a Protestant, not in name only, but in reality, +ever since. God keep me strong in the faith.</p> + +<p>I continued doing nursing for a livelihood. Some of +my doctor friends gave me a few private cases, and I also +was called on by some of the Protestant people I had become +acquainted with to wait on them in sickness.</p> + +<p>Several times I was asked to take obstetric (maternity) +cases, but had to refuse them on account of the lack of +training in this particular line. I have stated before that +we were kept in ignorance in regard to this line of nursing +at St. Vincent's Hospital. Finally, I decided that I would<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span> +take a special course in obstetrics, and I spent about six +months studying very hard. Now, remember, that I had +spent eighteen years at St. Vincent's besides two more years +in hospital work and yet I was not allowed to learn this +very important branch of nursing, regardless of the fact +that I had the maternity ward on my floor all the time I +was superintendent, and was held responsible for any errors +in the nursing of these cases.</p> + +<p>Before very long the saying of "Father" Carti, "You +will have trouble in the world," became very vivid to me. +The boycott was working well. I remember one case I +was called on, that of an old lady. She was very sick +and needed care night and day. She had one nurse, but +she could not work all the time. I worked only two days, +when the other nurse, who was a Roman Catholic, went +to the lady and told her that she could get along without +me. This only came about after she learned that I had +been a sister in the Roman Catholic sisterhood.</p> + +<p>In this, and other cases, my qualifications as a nurse +were not taken into consideration. It was only the fact +that I had once been a Roman Catholic and sister, but was +now a Protestant. Another incident of the boycott that will +be very clear to my readers is that a prominent doctor, +whose name is on my recommendation, told a nurse I was +working with that she could not get any more cases as +long as Sister Lucretia was working with her.</p> + +<p>In many of the states there has been agitation about a +law protecting ex-convicts from the boycott of the public, +simply because he is an ex-convict. Let us also have a law +for the protection of ex-nuns against the boycott of the +Roman Catholic system and the public, simply because she +is an ex-nun.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span></p> + +<p>It became very apparent to me that I would have to +do something besides nursing. But what? I was no longer +a young girl, and I had worked nearly all my life to make +of myself an efficient nurse, and I had succeeded thus +far. But, circumstances so shaped themselves that I could +not secure sufficient work to do to keep body and soul +together.</p> + +<p>After a great deal of deliberation and much thoughtful +prayer, I came to the conclusion that as God had been +with me and brought me out of darkness and idolatry, I +would dedicate my services to Him, in word of mouth and +pen, telling the story of my life as a Sister of Charity in +the Roman Catholic sisterhood.</p> + +<p>During July, 1915, I had the opportunity to spend a +few days at the annual Chautauqua being held at Gladstone, +Oregon. There I met several women with whom I had +been acquainted in Portland. They knew of my past life +and asked me to tell of some of my past experiences to +the members of the Women's Christian Temperance Union. +I had never had occasion to stand before any number of +people to talk to them, and I was very reluctant about +accepting the invitation. But it came to me that this was +the opportunity to obtain my first experience, and the few +days I stayed there I talked to them twice.</p> + +<p>After my return to Portland, and during the fall and +winter, I told my story to small crowds in the homes of +some of the real Protestant women. Then came 1916. I +began to talk upon invitation in the churches, before lodges +and in homes. During the year I delivered my lectures +one hundred and fourteen times in and about Portland. +In the summer, I had to decline many invitations, as I +was too busy to fill the engagements.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span></p> + +<p>This is how I began my lecturing, not that I ever intended +to do so when I left the sisterhood, but the Roman +Catholic system drove me to it, and now I am thankful +that it did, for I can do more good telling my story than +I ever could by being a Sister of Charity in the Roman +Catholic sisterhood, or by being a nurse caring for the sick. +I love to aid the poor, suffering sick, but I feel that there +are many nurses better than I could ever be, even with +my experience, but there are, indeed, very few who live +thirty-one years in the sisterhood of the Roman Catholic +Church, and live to leave it and tell their experiences.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XVI.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">My "Advertisement" in the Catholic Sentinel.</span></h3> + + +<p>During the spring and early summer of 1916, an election +campaign was on, and the issue was very apparent. The +patriotic citizens were determined to elect American citizens +to office who would uphold the American principles.</p> + +<p>I was talking several times each week, and evidently +something was hurting, for the <i>Catholic Sentinel</i>, published +in Portland, which is the mouthpiece of Archbishop Christie, +printed a fine "advertisement" for me in its issue of +June 8, 1916. There has been many comments on some +of my statements regarding the activities of the "Knights +of Columbus," and this article from their own paper will +substantiate what I have said:</p> + +<blockquote><p>A. P. A.'S FEATURE "ESCAPED" NUN</p> + +<p>Former Sister of Charity Appears on Anti-Catholic Platform.</p> + +<p>BIGOTRY RUNS WILD</p> + +<p>Protestant Churches Are Placed at the Disposal of Miss +Schoffen.</p> + +<p>Portland is a hotbed of religious bigotry. While the +rest of the world is storming Heaven for peace, the "patriots"<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span> +here are doing everything in their power to stir +up religious dissension. To this end they are using Miss +Elizabeth Schoffen, a former nun.</p> + +<p>This unfortunate woman was for 31 years a member of +the Sisters of Charity of Providence. For 17 years she +was a nursing sister in St. Vincent's Hospital here. She +left the order four years ago as a protest against having +been transferred from Portland to Vancouver against her +will. The order paid to her or her representatives a considerable +sum of money in recognition of her services.</p> + +<p>Some months back she went on the lecture platform, +billing herself as an ex-nun. The public did not flock to +hear her in any great numbers. Her audiences consisted +for the most part of that undesirable element in this community +who would revive Know-Nothingism and to whom +that which is vulgar and salacious carries an appeal.</p> + +<p>Miss Schoffen, more widely known as "Sister Lucretia," +is a plain featured woman about 55. For the last few weeks +she has been delivering afternoon lectures "for women +only." Several Protestant ministers have extended to her +the hospitality of their churches. Among the churches in +which she has spoken are the First Methodist Church, the +Woodlawn Christian Church, the Sunnyside Methodist +Church, the Brentwood Methodist Church and the Sellwood +Christian Church. She was billed to speak at the White +Temple (Baptist) last Tuesday afternoon to women only, +but the strong disapproval of the trustees of that church +resulted in the cancellation of her engagement.</p> + +<p>Miss Schoffen is a studious disseminator of malicious +inuendoes, suggestions and hints. She is careful to say +nothing that would render her liable to prosecution for +criminal libel or defamation of character. She has much<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span> +to say on the divided allegiances of Catholics, on the "military +activity" of the Knights of Columbus and on the deep, +dark Roman dungeons. She is no orator. Her discourse +is full of inconsistencies and is couched at times in the +language of the gutter. She adduces no evidence in support +of her insinuations and declines to answer questions during +or after the "lecture." The stage is well set. The proceedings +generally open with a prayer! This is often followed +by the singing of "America," in which the audience +joins. Her manager then drapes the American flag over +Miss Schoffen's shoulder, saying as he does so: "This is +to show that during her lecture Miss Schoffen is under the +protection of the Stars and Stripes!" These words never +fail to elicit tremendous applause.</p> + +<p>... Her lectures have become so obnoxious that +the Knights of Columbus have decided to take action and +to that end have appointed the following committee: J. W. +Kelly, W. J. Prendergast, Roger B. Sinnot, James Clarkson, +J. N. Casey, D. J. Malarkey, M. G. Munley, R. J. +O'Neil, Joseph Jacobberger, H. V. Stahl, John F. Daly.</p></blockquote> + +<p>I do not care to take space here to comment on this +article at length; there is a great deal of truth in it and +then there is a great deal that is not true. I will say +that the time spoken of when the White Temple turned me +down, there were about three thousand women that congregated +to hear my message, and I delivered it to them, +but not in the White Temple; I hired an automobile and +we went to the Plaza, where I talked from the machine. +The above article speaks of the "strong disapproval of the +trustees of the church." It took them quite a long time +to give out the announcement, for the lecture had been +advertised for two weeks. Any American can guess why +this building was closed at the eleventh hour.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span></p> + +<p>Of course, I am no orator. How could I be after spending +my life in the convents of the Roman Catholic system? +And, if I talked in the language of the gutter, where do +you think I learned it? Surely it must have been learned +in the parochial school, the confessional or the convent.</p> + +<p>Four of the eleven Knights of Columbus appointed to +take action against me were prominent lawyers of Portland, +and no doubt they worked overtime trying to hatch +up some scheme to get me before the bar of justice. If +they for one moment thought that I could not prove what +I was saying about the system I had lived so many years, +why did they not call on me to produce my proof?</p> + +<p>I have in my possession a letter from the wife of one +of these noble "knights," which, in part, reads as follows: +"I was not surprised when I heard that you had left the +order. The last time I was up there I asked for you and +they told me you had been sent to Canada. I felt then +it was the beginning of the end. What led up to it all I +do not know, but I felt I must tell you that so far as we +are concerned, our sympathies are with you. I know such +a thing could not have come to pass without your having +experienced much suffering and heartache. And I want +to tell you we are with you heart and soul. Of course, +you know our attitude toward them. We have felt for a +long time they are lacking in charity. We could not reconcile +ourselves to their attitude towards the nurses. Mr. +—— and Sister —— had a passage at arms the last +time he was up there. The old order of things was good, +but there seems to have crept in an element which has the +money-making. If you have time, I should like to hear +from you and something about the work you are doing. +I know one thing, that it is effective. We have never forgotten +the service you rendered Mr. ——, and I have +always felt that you more than any other contributed to his +recovery."<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span></p> + +<div class="figcenter"> +<img src="images/i_196.png" width="426" height="700" alt=""A Gift from God"—Five Years' Growth. +(Photographed Jan. 29, 1917)" title="" /> +<p class="caption">"A Gift from God"—Five Years' Growth. +(Photographed Jan. 29, 1917)</p> +</div><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span></p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span></p> + +<p>Yes, I did contribute to a great extent to this gentleman's +recovery when his two physicians and the special +nurse had abandoned all hope. And from this letter it was +apparent that he was pleased to hear that I had left the +order. Then, why such a radical change in the mind of +such a highly educated man? Had some of the "holy +fathers" been to see him and demanded, and as a good +"knight" he had to serve? Or, was his name placed on +the committee for show? The latter is more probable.</p> + +<p>I wish my readers to read the article very carefully and +thoughtfully and then draw your own conclusions. The +fact remains that I was lecturing and the effects were +hurting somebody. These "somebodies" were busy in nearly +every town where I would be billed to speak, endeavoring, +with their threats of boycott and with their committees +appointed to wait on the city officials, to close halls, and +to even keep me from entering the city. What was evidently +hurting them was the fact that I was telling the +truth to their own adherents, and in several of the small +cities where I spoke, some of them renounced the Roman +Catholic faith; others would take their children or some +relative out of a Roman Catholic orphanage or parochial +school. "An institution that cannot stand the light, needs +to have the light turned on it," and that is just what I was +trying to do.</p> + +<p>It makes no particular difference whether I was drawing +large crowds or not (but I was drawing immense crowds), +whether I was using language of the gutter or not, whether +I produced any evidence to prove my contentions or not, +whether the churches turned me down or not, I was doing +the work I had started out to do, viz., tell the public of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span> +the treatment I had received while I was in the Roman +Catholic convent and the treatment I had received since I +left the convent at the instigation of the Roman Catholic +system, and, thank God, I found the people eager to listen +to the truth. It seems that the truth is the very worst thing +that can be said about the Roman Catholic system.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XVII.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">The Care of Old Sisters by the Roman Catholic +System.</span></h3> + + +<p>I cannot close this book without devoting a few lines to +the care of the old sisters—those who have spent many +years serving the Roman Catholic Church—who have passed +their years of usefulness, and then—</p> + +<p>It would seem only natural and human, that any institution +after having received thirty, forty or more years of +free service from a human being, would at least see to it +that the person would spend their last few years of earthly +existence in ease and comfort. Indeed, very few pass their +years of usefulness in the Roman Catholic sisterhood—a +great many dying in their twenties, and more in their +thirties. And I might state right here that tuberculosis is +a very common disease to take the sisters to a young +grave. Probably forty to fifty per cent of the sisters I knew +that died during my sisterhood life was caused by tuberculosis. +Surely there must be some cause for this ravaging +disease among this people. It is the unnatural, secluded life +the girls are forced to live, together with the lack of proper +care when they are taken sick.</p> + +<p>That I might produce proof to substantiate what I say +in regard to the care of the old sisters, I wish to call to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span> +your particular attention one dear, old lady I knew very +well, and who suffered untold agonies after giving the +Roman Catholic Church forty years' service, according to +her own letters. I will print three of her letters written +to a friend (a Protestant) in Portland, when this dear, +sainted old lady, Sister Gabriel, was in Vancouver, Washington.</p> + +<p class="right">Vancouver, Wash., Aug. 3d, 1901.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p>My dear ....:<br /> +</p> + +<p>These few lines are a secret for yourself. Will you +please tell Mother Theresa that I am not able for any more +corrections. I have lost my sleep and appetite altogether. +I had no care since I came February 18th. I was ordered +back to Vancouver to sit in a room alone and suffer as I +had for six long years, since they discharged me from teaching. +They kept me in this work thirty-six years—four years +were spent at apothecary work in hospitals. I have been +kept idle altogether for six years. Now they seem pleased +to see me loosing my memory. Dr. .... was called to +see me Monday. He seemed to sympathize with me for +having nothing to do. The medicine the sister gave me +made me vomit and a diarrhea that is killing me. He +said he had no time to call and see me a second time.</p> + +<p class="right"> +(Signed) SR. GABRIEL.<br /> +</p> + +<p class="right">House of Providence,<br /> +Vancouver, Wash., Nov. 6th, 1901.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p>My very dear friend:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I send you these few lines by our dear Mother Provincial, +who will try to meet you, if not, to send you the note. +I am suffering very much from the rectal ailment ever since +that seasickness in September. The protrusion is much +larger. The inside is getting sore, and a slight hemorrage<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span> +of slime and blood keeps me busy. I do not know what +to do any longer, there is no one here who understands +anything about this complaint. I use glycerine suppositories +and sweet oil, etc.... Please write a prescription +if you cannot come to see me, and tell Rev. Mother what +kind of a tube to get. I feel pretty well, only a dizziness +now and then.</p> + +<p class="center">Your grateful friend,</p><br /> +<p class="right">SISTER GABRIEL.</p><br /> + +<p class="right">House of Providence.<br /> +Vancouver, Wash., Feb. 4, 1902.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p>The dearest of my friends:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I should have written to wish you the many blessings +of the new year ere this, but I was not in the writing +mood. I hope you enjoy good health as a reward from +the great God, and may He prolong your life many years—serving +the poor sick.</p> + +<p>"I would give the world to see you," but as that is +impossible for a few weeks longer, I will try to continue +the prescription you gave me when you kindly came here +to see me November 12th. I prefer to do all the dressing +myself as long as I am able, but sometimes I cry out for +relief in pain. No one knows what a painful, tedious disease +it is, and only those who have suffered themselves +can appreciate a relief.</p> + +<p>I fear the interior lining will become ulcerated, owing +to constipation for several days. Then I take purgatives, +Sedlitz powders, clover-root tea or soda phosphate, which +causes a diarrhea that cannot be stopped for so long, causing +sleeplessness, weakness and trembling. Will you please +tell me what would be a good laxative to prevent all this +trouble? Exterior applications have but very little effect.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span> +... Do you think that I will ever get better? +Every one tries his best to be relieved from pain. I am +pretty old now, "sixty-six years," hoping at least not to +become worse.</p> + +<p>I dread more the affliction of becoming insane than +any other ailment. Every little thing contrary to my way +of thinking disturbs my mind and keeps me thinking for +hours. I thank God I have a taste for reading and will +walk outside when the weather gets warm. I will expect a +few lines as soon as convenient. You told me to let you +know after a few weeks how I am, so then you will excuse +me for intruding on your precious time.</p> + +<p>Excuse my quill and old shaking hand.</p> + +<p class="center">Your most grateful,</p><br /> +<br /> +<p class="right">(Signed) SISTER GABRIEL.</p><br /> + +<p>Just before these letters were written, Sister Gabriel +was at St. Vincent's Hospital for a short time. One day +as I was passing the bathroom, I heard moans and cries +for assistance, and as I entered the bathroom I found her +lying in the bathtub, overcome from her sickness and unable +to help herself. I assisted her to her room and nursed her +the best I could, as I had no permission from my superior +to wait on her. Many times I would talk to her, as she +was far more intelligent than the average sister. As soon +as Mother Theresa learned that I was taking care of this +sister, and talking to her, she forbade me to do so any +further, and ordered me to look for the letters she (Sister +Gabriel) was sending out. Sister Gabriel remained at Vancouver +until about 1905, and then she was ordered to the +Mother House at Montreal to sit alone the remaining few +years of her life. I know she did not want to make this +move, but she was forced to do so, as she was getting to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span> +be a drudge to the community here. Sister Gabriel had +been a missionary to this part of the country, and she told +me many times that she did not wish to go to Canada, but +wanted to stay in this country among English-speaking +sisters to spend her old age. But it was never so with a +sister—it is not what they desire or wish for in their old +age, it is the desires of the Roman Catholic system, which +has them bound, tied and gagged by the vow of obedience.</p> + +<p>Treatment such as this was coming to me. I had served +them faithfully for thirty-one years and my health was +beginning to break under the pressure of wrongs and the +unnatural conditions. When a sister gets in this condition, +they move her from mission to mission and very often send +reports ahead of her, that she is irreligious and has a +"bad" spirit, causing the other sisters to treat her with +suspicion and contempt. This is done until her heart is +broken, and the final result is a general break-down in health. +Then she can go and sit alone in some secluded place for +the remaining few years of life. The strongest mind and +body would break under the strain and worry and sorrow +of such treatment as the Roman Catholic system gives their +old sisters. Had I remained with them, no doubt now, five +years later, I would be a physical and nervous wreck.</p> + +<p>I will quote from another letter written by another +sister to me shortly after my transfer to Cranbrook:</p> + +<p>"... When one has passed the three score mark +the situation is, to say the least, not pleasant. I can only +say, 'Courage, dear Sister Lucretia, a few more struggles +and Heaven will be ours.' The above quotation was a +friend's loving message to our dear saintly Sister Mary +Precious Blood but three weeks before her death. She was +ill but one week, mental anguish filled many of her days<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span> +and shortened her beautiful religious life. Sad, but true, +that a fearful retribution follows every injustice. 'Revenge +to me,' said the Lord.... I know too well what it +means to be in your plight, to even hope you are not +lonely. Time alone can dull the keenest of that sword's +edge. Let your many, many kind deeds comfort you. +Those in favor of my poor self when cast on St. Vincent's +charity, as well as those to my deceased Sister John, whose +loving appreciation was with you to the end, will never +be forgotten. Strange how few such souls we meet in this +vast world...."</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>CHAPTER XVIII.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Conclusion.</span></h3> + + +<p>My sister, Sister Cassilda, and myself corresponded with +each other considerably after I left the sisterhood, and I +received many letters from her that are exemplary of the +Roman Catholic teaching. I would like to quote from one +of these letters here:</p> + +<p class="right">Cranbrook, B. C., June 24th, 1915.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p>My very dear Sister:<br /> +</p> + +<p>Your two kind letters, May 24th, No. 13, and the +other June 16th, No. 14, have both been received with the +greatest pleasure. It is always a pleasure for me to hear +from you and to know that you are well and getting on so +nicely. It does seem negligent, dear Sister, for me to have +delayed so long in writing, and I beg your pardon for the +sorrow I have caused you. It was no ones fault, you see +I have been changed from New Westminster back to St. +Eugene Mission. I always intended to write as soon as I +got settled, time passed so quickly, hence the cause of my +delay. I am very well and as happy as any one can be in +this world....</p> + +<p>.... I would no more let anyone say anything +against the religion I have practiced all my life, which was +taught me by my own dear parents and which I love dearly.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</a></span> +I would rather die than go and put my parents and people +below those Bible preachers; they better practice what is +in the Bible instead of talking about their neighbors. My +love for you, my dear sister, is the same as it ever was, +nothing can ever change that, but it grieves me to think +that you have turned against our dear religion what you +and I were taught together in our infancy. I surely would +not compare Bible reading with that. I pray the Lord to +give me strength to be faithful to it all my life and not to +be deceived by false prophets. I have seen enough of the +world to know which is right. Unfortunately there are +many Catholics that are not what they should be; they +will be responsible for themselves; that does not change +religion any.</p> + +<p>Now a little news about my mission. It is about the +same, only we have a grand, new <i>cement house</i>, with all +the comforts possible, and the government will build us +new barns and stables, and renew all the fences, so it will +be a swell place after that.... Hope to hear from +you soon again, love and good wishes for yourself and +your friends.</p> + +<p class="center"> +Your loving sister,</p><br /> +<p class="right">SISTER CASSILDA.<br /> +</p> + +<p>This letter shows how the sisters are duped about the +Protestant ministers and the preaching from the Bible. It +also shows how strong they are held in the faith of the +Roman Catholic church. At the end of the letter you will +notice that the government was building, or helping to +build, the new institution at Cranbrook.</p> + +<p>The Roman Catholic Church, from time to time, has +broken away from the teaching of the Bible, and instituted +practices, man-made and traditional. The adherent of the +Roman Catholic Church accepts these teachings and prac<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</a></span>tices +because he believes, as I did for so many years, that +the word of the Pope is God's word, and whatever is +dictated to the subject through the pope, or his ecclesiastical +representatives, must be obeyed. The reason he believes +this, is that he is not allowed to read and study the +Word of God. When the priest talks <i>about</i> the Bible, that +is sufficient for the laity. In all my years of sisterhood life, +I never studied the Bible, and when I say "I," I wish it +understood that I was no exception.</p> + +<p>Surely if Christ intended that all these practices, and +institutions of graft, should be necessary for the salvation +of mankind, He would have practiced some of them while +He was here.</p> + +<p>Since the combining of paganism and Christianity, forming +the Roman Catholic Church, here are some of the man-made +practices and the time instituted:</p> + + +<div class="center"> +<table border="0" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="0" summary=""> +<tr><td align="right">A. D.</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Invocation of saints</td><td align="left">375</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">The Latin service</td><td align="left">600</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Supremacy of the pope</td><td align="left">606</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Worships of images and relics</td><td align="left">787</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Transubstantiation</td><td align="left">1000</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Infallibility of the Church of Rome</td><td align="left">1076</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">The sacrifice of the Mass</td><td align="left">1100</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Sale of indulgences</td><td align="left">1190</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Withholding the cup from the laity</td><td align="left">1415</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Purgatory</td><td align="left">1439</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Restriction of the Bible</td><td align="left">1546</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Seven Sacraments</td><td align="left">1547</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">Worship of the Virgin Mary</td><td align="left">1563</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">The creed of the pope added</td><td align="left">1564</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">The immaculate conception of Mary</td><td align="left">1854</td></tr> +<tr><td align="left">The infallibility of the pope</td><td align="left">1870</td></tr> +</table></div> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</a></span></p> + +<p>I copy this table from ex-Priest P. A. Seguin's book, +"Out of Hell and Purgatory," and he asks, "How old is +this popish combination?" And well might he ask it. If +the popes and cardinals continue to add to the creed of the +Roman Catholic Church in the next few centuries as they +have in the past, God help the poor people who continue +in that faith, for they must believe each and every one of +the practices and innovations.</p> + +<p>Why the pope, purgatory, seven sacraments necessary +for salvation, worship of the Virgin Mary, the immaculate +conception of Mary, worship of images and statues, sale +of indulgences, etc.? Yes, there may be Christianity in the +Roman Catholic teachings and practices, but if you wish +to find it you must search for it.</p> + +<p>If the Christianity existed in the Roman Catholic Church +that should be there, why is there so much rottenness +connected with it? Whenever there is any scandal (this is +a great Roman Catholic word) in the Protestant churches, +is it hidden and tried to be kept down? Verily, no! It is +sifted through, and the cause of the wrong is found and +righted. But Archbishop Christie knew there were wrongs +being perpetrated right here in Portland, and he knew I +knew it, but not once did he endeavor to right these wrongs.</p> + +<p>Read this letter he wrote me soon after I left the sisterhood. +In explaining this letter, I will say that the letter +he speaks of from Mother Wilfrid was sent to him by me +at the time I sent my letters for redress, and it was of such +a nature that I do not understand how he could have forgotten +it so easily; but, doubtless, he wished to keep it +rather than to know that I had it.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</a></span></p> + +<p class="right">Portland, Oregon, May 16, 1912.</p><br /> +<br /> +<p>Dear Sister:<br /> +</p> + +<p>I cannot remember having received a letter from Mother +Wilfrid. You must have sent it to some other person and +not to me.</p> + +<p>I hope and pray you will do nothing what will cause +any scandal.</p> + +<p>Asking God to bless and direct you, I am sincerely +in Xto</p> + +<p class="center"> +X A. CHRISTIE.<br /> +</p> + +<p>If the Roman Catholic system would clean up from +within, there would be no need for the ecclesiastical authorities +to "hope and pray" that any of the sisters who left +any of their institutions "would tell anything that would +cause any scandal."</p> + +<p>It was ever so, dear reader, and it will always be. The +same rottenness will always exist in the Church of Rome +that has always existed. It was because of this rottenness +and corruption that practically all of the ex-priests have +left Romanism, and because of the wrongs perpetrated that +practically all of the ex-nuns have left.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The conditions I have written about, as I have lived +them, not only exist in the convents of the Pacific Northwest, +but in other Roman Catholic convents and monasteries, +as the teachings and practices here come from other +convents and of necessity they must be the same. "Like +father, like son." There may be a few exceptions, where +there is convent inspection, or some other law governing +them, but as a general thing they are as I have explained, +and in a great many, the practices are rigorous to the +extreme.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</a></span></p> + +<p>So, the great question arises, "How are we going to +better conditions?" I could answer this question in a few +words, and it would be the most logical answer, "Abolish +all the convents and monasteries." Institutions of darkness +and ignorance and evil are surely not necessary for the +salvation of the souls of the women of this country, or of +any other country. Christ did not institute any such specifications +when He was on earth, or did He leave them in +written form in His Holy Word. The secluding of girls +and women is a man-made institution, and not for the +saving of the souls of the poor girls, but for the profit of +their work to the church. Is this Christianity?</p> + +<p>How long will the American people be blind to this +"religious cloak" for graft—school graft, hospital graft, +laundry graft, and various other sweat-shop grafts? It is +very convenient for the owners of the profitable "religious" +institutions to operate them with sister service without paying +either the wages or taxes required by the owners of +legitimate industries. Think how it must affect competition +and the wages of free workers.</p> + +<p>Slavery of any degree is a curse to society as well as to +the enslaved. I beg every American to look into this question +seriously before it is too late. If you continue your +sleepy indifference you may some day wake up to find that +you have over-slept, to find that your own flesh and blood +are being tricked and exploited into these "holy" institutions.</p> + +<p>Under no condition should any institution, private or +public, be permitted to immure girls and young women and +keep them in servitude, hidden from their parents and +friends and denied the common justice due every citizen. +The laws of this country are made "by the people and for +the people," and therefore, it is for the people of every state<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</a></span> +to see that there is a law on the statute books calling for +the inspection of every institution where girls and women +are incarcerated; the doors opened, that the truth may be +obtained from every inmate and redress granted to all +without intimidation.</p> + +<p>As the convent system is now in vogue there is no +redress, as I have shown you, nor is there any protection +from the convent crimes, as they are absolutely under the +government of the Roman Catholic hierarchy. From behind +the convent walls the heartbroken cries of the victims cannot +be heard by the deceived world, and therefore, there is no +appeal for justice.</p> + +<p>Open the doors of every convent and monastery and +let the deluded victims return to the world and live useful +lives if they so choose! Let them be free to come and go +at will, like any other citizen, and grant them the liberty +guaranteed by the Constitution to all within our borders.</p> + +<p>For the nuns who desire to leave the convent system, +there should be in every state a home where they can work +out their own salvation, until such a time as they are prepared +to make their own living. Such a home should be +supervised in a manner to guarantee that the inmates +will not be intimidated by the priests or other representatives +of Rome. Convent work is all routine, and from the +very day a girl enters she becomes as a spoke in a wheel; +her thoughts, judgment and body become an incorporate +part of the written rule and customary observances of the +system. From long seclusion, peculiar dress, separation +from people and all civil society, she becomes estranged to +the habits and customs of the world. On account of these +conditions, the sisters feel very sensitive and it makes them +timid and shrink in embarrassment. If it was not for these +difficulties and barriers, and perhaps humiliations, there are<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</a></span> +hundreds of sisters who would leave the convent system. +Many of them stay, not because they desire to do so, but +because they do not know where to go or what to do if +they leave. I myself would have left many years before, +had I known where to have gone or what to have done.</p> + +<p>Another thing every American citizen should work for +and see to, is that no sectarian school or institution of any +nature shall receive financial aid from the State. We are +blessed with one of the greatest and best public school +systems in the world, and if they are not good enough for +the people to send their children to, then this is no country +for such a person. The taxpayer has enough to do without +keeping up a school system for the purpose of teaching +"Hail! Mary!" or the Roman Catholic catechism. Nor do +we want sisters of the Roman Catholic sisterhood teaching +in our public school, attired in their religious garb. These +sisters have taken the vow of poverty, and yet draw their +monthly salary from the State school fund. Who do you +suppose gets this money? Surely not the poor sister! It +of necessity goes to the church. In one county of this state +of Oregon we have seven sisters of the sisterhood of the +Roman Catholic church teaching in our public schools, +attired in their religious garbs. This information comes +direct from the county school superintendent's office.</p> + +<p>Take away the parochial schools and the Roman Catholic +system could not long survive in this country, and, as I +have stated in the beginning of this book, the Roman +Catholic system would not even have the parochial schools +if it were not for our public schools. They must have +some means of combating with the popular public education, +and to do so institute the parochial schools and demand of +the good members of their parishes to send their children +to them.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</a></span></p> + +<p>So, it behooves us to have a law compelling every child +between certain ages to attend the <i>public</i> school and to +refuse further aid to sectarian schools.</p> + +<p>Theodore Roosevelt in his "American Ideals" says:</p> + +<p>"... We stand unalterably in favor of the public-school +system in its entirety. We believe that English, and +no other language, is that in which all the school exercises +should be conducted. We are against any division of the +school fund, and against any appropriation of public money +for sectarian purposes. We are against any recognition +whatever by the state in any shape or form of state-aided +parochial schools."</p> + +<p>Jeremiah J. Crowley says in his book, "The Parochial +School, A Curse to the Church, A Menace to the Nation":</p> + +<p>"The Catholic parochial school in the United States is +not founded on loyalty to the Republic, and the ecclesiastics +who control it would throttle, if they could, the liberties of +the American people.</p> + +<p>"It is my profound conviction that the masses of the +Catholic people prefer the public schools, and that they send +their children to the parochial schools to avoid eternal punishment, +as their pastors preach from the pulpit, 'Catholic +parents who send their children to the godless public schools +are going straight to hell.'"</p> + +<p>Again Mr. Crowley says:</p> + +<p>"Catholic public school opponents declare that at least +one-third of the American people favor their position. I +deny it. I am morally certain that not five per cent of the +Catholic men of America endorse at heart the parochial +school. They may send their children to the parochial +schools to keep peace in the family and to avoid an open<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[214]</a></span> +rupture with the parish rector; they may be induced to pass +resolutions of approval of the parochial school in their +lodges and conventions; but if it ever becomes a matter +of blood, not one per cent of them will be found outside of +the ranks of the defenders of the American public schools.</p> + +<p>"If a perfectly free ballot could be cast by the Catholic +men of America for the perpetuity or suppression of the +parochial school, it would be suppressed by an astounding +majority."</p> + +<p>The above quotations were written by Mr. Crowley +while he was yet a priest in the church of Rome, and he +evidently knew whereof he spoke. I will comment no further, +as these remarks speak for themselves and very plainly.</p> + +<p>Before I close, I wish to warn every Protestant parent +about sending their children to Roman Catholic institutions +for some special training which they claim to be superior +in, and at the same time raise them to be Protestants. The +instructors in these institutions will promise that they will +use no influence to change the child's religious belief, but +the sisters are bound by rule to convert every person to the +Roman Catholic faith with whom she comes in contact, +if she possibly can. If influence and coercion are not used, +the environment is there just the same. Many times since +I have left the sisterhood, mothers have come to me in tears +and grief and asked me to help them keep their daughters +from joining the Roman Catholic church or sisterhood. +They would tell me that when they had placed their children +in these institutions, the sisters had told them that no +influence would be used to change their religious faith. +Maybe not, but if such a person does not accede to the +demands of those in charge and go to mass and say the +prayers of a Roman Catholic, conditions are made very<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[215]</a></span> +disagreeable for them and they soon learn that it is best +for them to go through the performance, even though they +do not believe it. Then, as time goes on, these practices +become imbedded in their hearts and minds, until at last +they become hypnotized, so to speak, by the superstitious +teaching and practices of the Roman Catholic religion.</p> + +<p>In this small volume I have told of the practices and +teachings of the Roman Catholic church and convent as +I have lived them. I am sometimes asked if I can prove +this or that. If any of you, dear readers, will live these +things as I have lived them they will be realistic enough +to you. God's Word says, "Ye shall know the truth and +the truth shall make you free."</p> + +<p>I may have written with prejudice, and I ask God to +prejudice me against <i>all</i> wrong that I may live to do His +work and glorify Him. He knows that I hold no ill-feeling +against <i>any</i> Roman Catholic individual—laity, sister, priest +or archbishop. But the system they represent—the system +that I have served so faithfully for so many years—I have +no sympathy for. Whatever a sister, priest or archbishop +may be, the system has made them. I only hope and pray +that they will all see the light and come out of their superstition +and live the religious life they entered the Roman +Catholic church to live. God's Word says, "Come out of +her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and +that ye receive not of her plagues."</p> + +<p>In the last lines of this book, I wish to plead with each +and every American to stand for the right, and do not be +afraid to show your colors. Stand for the true American +principles; stand by that Wonder of Wonders, the Menace—which +has been a Martin Luther in print; and above all, +<i>stand together</i>. Unite—for without union there is no<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[216]</a></span> +strength. Follow the Roman Catholic system in this respect. +And when the patriotic men and women do unite on one +common ground and for the one cause—love of God, freedom +and country—there need be no fear of a second St. +Bartholemew's Day; there need be no fear of a repetition +of the terrible Inquisition of Spain; there need be no fear +of internal strife as poor, blood-drenched Mexico is experiencing +today.</p> + +<p>All I ask is for you to think on the few thoughts I have +endeavored to give you in plain words, and to take the +warning as coming from one who lived for thirty-one years.</p> + +<p class="center">"THE DEMANDS OF ROME"</p> + +<p class="center"> +Yes, a church without a Bible<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Is like a ship without a sail,</span><br /> +Trying to withstand the tempest<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">In some fearful, howling gale;</span><br /> +Yes, a church without a Bible<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Is like a general in the fight,</span><br /> +Who is trying empty-handed<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To put enemies to flight.</span><br /> +<br /> +It will surely be defeated;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Foes without and foes within</span><br /> +Drag it onward, downward, plunging<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">In a deep abyss of sin.</span><br /> +In the Bible is many a remedy;<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">If 'twas hidden in its heart,</span><br /> +It from pagan rules and customs<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Would forevermore depart.</span><br /> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[217]</a></span></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>APPENDIX.</h2> + + +<p>I hesitate to add this appendix, for I have copied a +great many documents and letters in the preceding chapters. +But this case, which I will present to you, will be additional +proof that the same wrongs which I tried to right, existed +years before and that there was no redress.</p> + +<p>Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart presented her complaint +to her local superiors, but was utterly ignored. She next +addressed herself to Archbishop Paul Bruchasie of Montreal, +who was her ecclesiastical superior. Archbishop Bruchasie +answered her, saying that it was none of her affairs +to be busying herself about these matters and that it would +be better for her if she would say her prayers, be an humble +and obedient religious. That looking after the affairs of +the community was her superior's business and that God +would punish her for her presumption and pride.</p> + +<p>She then addressed herself to the Roman Apostolic +Delegate at Washington, D. C., the following being a copy +of her statement in behalf of the sisters of this country:</p> + +<p>I, Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart, a member of the +Order of the Daughters of Charity, Servants of the Poor, +most respectfully submit the following articles to the proper +Ecclesiastical Authorities—Subject of Complaint, involving +a right to demand justice by the members of the Order who +are not French or French Canadian. All members of the +Order who are not French or French Canadian are slaves. +To prove the above assertion, I will state facts as follows:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[218]</a></span></p> + +<p>1. All the higher officers of the Order such as Superior +General, Councillors General, Provincial Superior and +Councillors, have always, with the exception of one German +Provincial, been French Canadian Sisters.</p> + +<p>2. When rights have been called for, only one provincial +councillor was given in the province, which is +manifestly of little practical utility, she being one among +five, four of which being Canadian.</p> + +<p>At the last general chapter, one assistant general was +elected, and this only through the interposition of the +Archbishop of Montreal. As she was the one who had +filled the office of provincial councillor in the province of +the Sacred Heart, her place in that council was left vacant, +and it was immediately filled by a Canadian sister.</p> + +<p>3. The opening clause of No. 200 of our constitution, +and all sense of justice, are flagrantly and officially violated, +not only in the ways above mentioned, but we are not even +permitted to have a sufficient number of representatives in +the general chapter, no, nor even one. And thus superiors +are thrust upon us without our consent—and laws of which +we had no voice in the making.</p> + +<p>No. 200 of our constitution reads thus: "The spirit of +nationality must be banished as the most dangerous enemy +of an institution created to serve the church in all countries +of the earth, without distinction of people or language, etc."</p> + +<p>4. When it was known by the Superior General and +her council that complaints had been made to Ecclesiastical +Superiors, a member and representative of the General +Council was sent to the Western provinces, and she used +her utmost endeavors in our provincial house to make the +sisters afraid to address complaints to the ecclesiastical +superiors.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[219]</a></span></p> + +<p>5. Novices of all other nationalities are received into +all the novitiates, who, of course, do not realize until after +the last vows, that they are to be treated as subordinates +in the order. Thus we occupy a position inferior to that of +the coadjutrix sister, for they are admitted only on condition +of being subject to the vocal nuns, and consent to +this condition and therefore are not slaves.</p> + +<p>6. Is it not a public insult to the sisters of this country, +that only French sisters are constantly kept in offices which +have relation with seculars? And this enhanced by the fact +that French sisters are, as a rule, not suitable to govern +an English-speaking province, as they neither understand +the ways of the people nor even of the sisters not French, +nor conduct matters in a manner to do them good, not to +speak of their imperfect knowledge of the language, and +that sisters of a rude and inferior character are often placed +in relation with outsiders.</p> + +<p>7. Sisters who are not French have been treated with +the least consideration, either as to their health (and this +even sometimes to the extreme), or to their human feelings. +And the schools, which are of necessity taught by English-speaking +sisters, have been much neglected by the Canadian +superiors as to equipment.</p> + +<p>The only reason for this injustice that could be alleged +is that there are no English-speaking sisters competent to +fill the offices. But this would be false and absurd, for +from the time of our Foundresses, there have always been +some of these who were able to fill high offices and conduct +the business of the order, and at present I could +mention many who are able for anything that might be +asked for them.</p> + +<p>As for the spirit of the Order, is it not possessed far +more fully by those who have patiently and faithfully toiled<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[220]</a></span> +during long years under an unjust administration, rather +than those who officially and persistently carry on matters +in a spirit of nationality?</p> + +<p>Therefore, in the name of justice, in the name of all +of our professed sisters who are afraid to complain to +Ecclesiastical Superiors, in the name of those who are too +young to realize the position thrust upon them, in the name +of future members of the Order, and in my name, I most +respectfully ask and demand of the proper Ecclesiastical +Authority to arrange these matters in the spirit of religion +and justice.</p> + +<p>As a simple command given in writing or by word of +mouth, or even inserted in the Customary would have no +other than temporary effect, I shall consider my petition +granted only when there will be inserted in the constitution +an explicit and emphatic rule that will give us our own +rights and forever prohibit all such injustice and tyranny.</p> + +<p>It seems to me that in all conscience it has been borne +too long and that after fifty years of endurance we should +have our rights as soon as possible.</p> + +<p>I feel confident that the wise and holy rulers of the +Church will as soon as possible act in accordance with +these principles.</p> + +<p>Reverently, and with profound respect, I sign myself +an humble and obedient child of the Church</p> + +<p class="center"> +SISTER PAUL OF THE SACRED HEART.<br /> +</p> + +<p>As soon as it was reported at the various houses of the +order that Sister Paul was endeavoring to obtain the enactment +of rules for the equal recognition of all sisters, the +local superior of one of these houses wrote a letter containing +a petition to the Mother House, asking them not to +recognize the appeal of Sister Paul for justice. This letter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[221]</a></span> +and petition was sent from house to house, obtaining all +the signatures possible. Several sisters told me that they +were requested to sign the petition without being allowed +to read the contents.</p> + +<p>The following is a copy of the letter and petition written +by Sister M. Alexander:</p> + +<blockquote><p class="right"> +Providence Hospital, +Everett, Wash., January 9, 1905.</p> + +<p>My very dear Sister: +</p> + +<p>You are no doubt aware that for some time past our +poor, misguided Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart has been +trying to create disunion and dissatisfaction in the Community, +particularly among those who are not French or +of Canadian birth. She has gone so far as to write to +the higher ecclesiastical authority to obtain redress for +fancied wrongs which have no existence save in her disordered +imagination.</p> + +<p>She has used our names without our knowledge or +consent to give color and strength to her assertions. Therefore +in justice to ourselves, personally and collectively, it +is high time for us to act in a way so dignified, vigorous +and religious that our loyalty and unswerving fidelity to +our beloved community may never be questioned; and that +this testimonial of our devotion to the government, customs +and usages of the order to which we have the happiness of +belonging, may be placed on the record in the archives of +the Mother House and of the Provincial House as an undeniable +proof that we forever abhor any act or word or +deed contrary to the spirit of our cherished Mother House +or its past or present or future government. Therefore, +let each American Sister (Member) sign the accompanying +document, act of submission, freely and willingly according +to the dictates of her conscience. Let the document be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[222]</a></span> +transmitted in regular order to all the houses of the Province +and then forwarded to our worthy Mother Provincial +that she may have the satisfaction of conveying to our +esteemed Mother General this undying proof of our filial +devotion and everlasting attachment.</p> + +<p><i>Document</i>—We, the undersigned, do hereby certify that +the action of Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart against the +Community, and that her assertions that the constitutions +are officially violated in the absence of American members +from the general and provincial councils is condemned by +us. We denounce any act by which she threatens division +on the ground of nationality. We declare our refusal to +take part in any act against the government of the community. +We further pledge allegiance and loyalty to our +community and superiors in office and recognize their +authority as eminating from God.</p> + +<p class="right">SISTER M. ALEXANDER.</p></blockquote> + +<p>Answer of Sister Paul to the document circulated by +Sister M. Alexander:</p> + +<blockquote><p>I, Sister Paul of the Sacred Heart, positively declare +that I never tried to create disunion in the community, nor +have I ever either taken any action against the community +or endeavored to incite any other Sister to do so. Neither +have I advocated division or rebellion, but have spoken +against both these. Nor have I sent the names of the +sisters to higher ecclesiastical superiors.</p> + +<p>All that I have done towards ameliorating existing +conditions is the following: I have written to higher ecclesiastical +authorities and spoken to them, as I have a perfect +right to do and shall do so again if I feel such to be my duty.</p> + +<p>I also advised other sisters to address ecclesiastical +superiors concerning what other sisters of sound mind, as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[223]</a></span> +well as myself, considered to be an injustice. These matters +are public, and we have a right to speak of them.</p> + +<p>Furthermore, I have spoken only to sisters who have +spent some years in the Order; while the slandering paper +dated Everett, January 9, 1905, which was sent to the +American sisters of this province for them to sign, was +given into the hands of very young sisters.</p> + +<p>I declare that paper to be a libel against my character, +as is easily perceived on reading it together with what I +have written above.</p> + +<p>I therefore demand, in justice to myself, that a copy of +this present writing be pasted below the writing of each +of the two copies of the paper circulated for the American +sisters of the Province to sign, which are kept respectively +in the archives of the Mother House in Montreal and in +those of the Provincial House in Vancouver.</p> + +<p>I also declare, that until my reputation shall be fully +cleared from the false accusations contained in that paper, +I shall consider myself as living under the unjust action +or sanction of the responsible superiors.</p> + +<p class="right"> +House of Providence,<br /> +Vancouver, Wash., Dec. 14th, 1906.<br /> +</p></blockquote> + +<p>The result: Sister Alexander was made superior and +was elevated to the very best houses of the order, among +them St. Vincent's Hospital, Portland, Oregon. This is the +same Sister Alexander who was superior when I was taken +out of St. Vincent's.</p> + +<p>Sister Paul was sent to the Mother House in Montreal, +Canada, to while away her time translating French into +English.</p> + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's The Demands of Rome, by Elizabeth Schoffen + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE DEMANDS OF ROME *** + +***** This file should be named 37104-h.htm or 37104-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/7/1/0/37104/ + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Katie Hernandez, Michael and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> |