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diff --git a/old/hhwkn10.txt b/old/hhwkn10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9dfe93 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/hhwkn10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11885 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext of Happy Hawkins, by Robert Alexander Wason + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.07/27/01*END* + + + + + +This etext was produced by Charles Franks and the +Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + +Happy Hawkins + +by Robert Alexander Wason + + + + +TO + +MY OLD PAL + + + + + +CONTENTS + + + I THE DIAMOND DOT + + II CONVINCING A COOK + + III UNDER FIRE + + IV PROFESSIONAL DUTY + + V JUST MONODY--A MAN + + VI THE RACE + + VII MENTAL TREATMENT FOR A BROKEN LEG + + VIII THE LETTER + + IX ADRIFT AGAIN + + X A WINTER AT SLOCUM'S LUCK + + XI DRESS REFORM AT THE DIAMOND DOT + + XII THE LASSOO DUEL + + XIII BUSINESS is BUSINESS + + XIV THE CHINESE QUESTION + + XV THE DIAMOND DOT AGAIN + + XVI THE HIGHER EDUCATION OF WOMAN + + XVII IN RETIREMENT + + XVIII CUPID + + XIX BARBIE MAKES A DISCOVERY + + XX RICHARD WHITTINCTON ARRIVES + + XXI HAPPY MAKES A DISCOVERY + + XXII A FRIENDLY GAME + + XXIII CAST STEEL + + XXIV FEMININE LOGIC + + XXV THE WAYS OF WOMANKIND + + XXVI A MODERN KNIGHT-ERRANT + + XXVII THE CREOLE BELLE + + XXVIII THE DAY OF THE WEDDING + + XXIX THE FINAL RECKONING + + XXX THE AFTERGLOW + + + + +CHAPTER ONE + +THE DIAMOND DOT + + +I wasn't really a Westerner an' that's why I'm so different from +most of 'em. Take your regular bonie fide Westerner an' when he dies +he don't turn to dust, he turns to alkali; but when it comes my turn +to settle, I'll jest natchely become the good rich soil o' the +Indiana cornbelt. + +I was born in Indiana and I never left it till after I was ten years +old. That's about the time boys generally start out to hunt Injuns; +but I kept on goin' till I found mine--but I didn't kill him--nor +him me neither, as far as that goes. + +I allus did have the misfortune o' gettin' hungry at the most +inconvenient times, an' after I 'd been gone about two weeks I got +quite powerful hungry, so I natchely got a job waitin' on a lunch +counter back in Omaha. The third day I was there I was all alone in +the front room when in walked an Injun. He was about eight feet +high, I reckon; and the fiercest Injun I ever see. I took one look +at him a' then I dropped behind the counter and wiggled back to the +kitchen where the boss was. I gasped out that the Injuns was upon us +an' then I flew for my firearms. + +When the boss discovered that the Injun and fourteen doughnuts, +almost new, had vanished, he was some put out, and after we had +discussed the matter, I acted on his advice and came farther West. +That business experience lasted me a good long while. I don't like +business an' I don't blame any one who has to follow it for a livin' +for wantin' to have a vacation so he can get out where the air is +fit to breathe. + +Just imagine bein' hived up day after day with nothin' to see but +walls an' nothin' to do but customers. You first got to be friendly +with your visitors to make 'em feel at home, an' then you got to get +as much of their money as you can in order to keep on bein' friendly +with 'em in order to keep on gettin' as much of their money as you +can. + +Now out in the open a feller don't have to be a hypocrite: once I +worked a whole year for a man who hated me so he wouldn't speak to +me; but I didn't care, I liked the work and I did it an' he raised +my wages twice an' gave me a pony when I quit. + +He was the sourest tempered man I ever see; but it was good trainin' +to live with him a spell. Lots of men has streaks of bein' +unbearable; but this man was the only one I ever met up with who was +solid that way, and didn't have one single streak of bein' likeable. +He was the only man I ever see who wouldn't talk to me. I was a +noticing sort of a kid an' I saw mighty early that what wins the +hearts o' ninety-nine men out of a hundred is listenin' to 'em talk. +That's why I don't talk much myself. But you couldn't listen to old +Spike Williams, 'cause the' wasn't no opportunity--he didn't even +cuss. + +We was snowed up for two weeks one time an' I took a vow 'at I'd +make him talk. I tried every subject I'd ever heard of; but he +didn't even grunt. Just when things was clearin' off, I sez to him, +usin' my biggest trump: "Spike," sez I, "do you know what they say +about you?" + +"No," sez he, "but you know what I say about them," an' he went on +with his packin'. + +I thought for a while 'at the year I'd spent with Spike Williams was +a total loss; but jest the contrary. It had kept me studyin' an' +schemin' an' analysin' until, after that year had been stored away +to season, I discovered it was the best year I'd ever put in, an' +while I hadn't got overly well acquainted with Spike, I had become +mighty friendly with myself and was surprised to find out how much +the' was to me. + +Did you ever think of that? You start out an' a feller comes along +an' throws an opinion around your off fore foot an' you go down in a +heap an' that opinion holds you fast for some time. When you start +on again another feller ropes you with a new opinion, an' the first +thing you know you are all cluttered up an' loaded down with other +fellers' opinions, an' the' ain't enough o' your own self left to +tell what you're like; but after that winter with Spike I was pretty +well able to dodge an opinion until I had time to learn what it +meant. + +But the main good I got out of Spike was learnin' how to take old +Cast Steel Judson. It was some years after this before I met up with +him; but the good effect hadn't worn off and me an' Cast Steel just +merged together like butter an' a hot penny. I wasn't much more 'an +a kid even then, but law! I wish I knew just half as much now as I +thought I did then. My self respect was certainly a bulky article +those days an' I wasn't in the habit of undervaluin' my own +judgment--not to any great extent; but that habit o' study I'd +formed with Spike was my balance wheel, an' I generally managed to +keep my conceit from shuttin' out the entire landscape. The' wasn't +a great deal escaped my eye, 'cause I begun to notice purty tol'able +young that experience is consid'able like a bank account: takes a +heap o' sweat to get her started, but she's comfortable to draw on +in a pinch. + +Ol' man Judson was a curious affair, had his own way o' doin' every +blessed thing, an' whenever he hired a man he always went through +the same rigamarole. "Now what I'm contractin' for," he'd say, "is +just only your time an' whatever part o' your thinkin' apparatus as +is needed in doin' YOUR share o' my business. If I detail you to sit +in the shade an' count clouds, I don't want no argument, I want the +clouds counted. When I don't specially express a hungerin' for any +of your advice, that's the very time when you don't need to give +any. Whenever you think you have a kick comin'--why think again. +Then if you still see the kick, make it to the foreman. If that +don't work make it to me; but when you make it to me, you want to be +mighty sure it will hold water. Above all things I hate a liar, a +coward, an' a sneak. Now get busy 'cause life is short an' time is +fleetin'." + +That was the way he used to talk, an' some used to set him down as a +tyrant, an' some had him guessed in as a rough old codger with a +soft heart,--everybody took a guess at him,--but the blood in the +turnip was that ol' Jabez Judson was purty tol'able sizey when you +carne to fence him in. Everybody called him Cast Steel Judson, an' +you might work through the langwidge five times without adding much +to the description. Hard he was an' stern an' no bend to him; but at +the same time you could count on him acting up to his nature. He +wa'n't no hypocrite, an' th''s a heap o' comfort jest in that. A +feller ain't got no kick comin' when a rattler lands on him; but if +a wood dove was to poison him, he'd have a fair right to be put out. +The only child 'at Cast Steel had was one daughter; but that don't +indicate that paternity was one long vacation for Jabez. Barbie--her +full name was Barbara--was the sweetest an' the gamest an' the most +surpriseable creature a human being ever met up with, an' ol' Jabez +could 'a' got along handier with seven sons than he did with that +one girl. Oh, the eyes of her were like the two stars over old +Savage, snappin' an' twinklin' an' sparklin' in the clear winter +nights, or soft an' shy an' tender when the hazy spring moon cuddles +up to them. She wasn't afraid of anything 'at walks the face o' the +earth, an' Jabez had a hard time gettin' used to this--'cause he +thought she ought to be afraid o' him. + +Still, he fair worshiped her, an' if he'd been given full charge o' +the earth for jest one day, an' anything would 'a' pestered the girl +durin' that day, why the map-maker would sure have had a job on the +day follerin'; 'cause from his standpoint, that girl was what the +sun shone for an' the rain rained for an' the blossoms blossomed +for. + +We was allus havin' a lot o' Easterners string along during the +summer, an' they generally was easy to entice into makin' a little +visit with us. Some of 'em would spend their time crackin' stones +an' makin' up tales about their bein' speciments o' the Zelooic age +or the Palazoric age or some such a fool thing. They was mostly +heathens, an' it didn't do no good to spring the Bible on 'em--in +fact after we got able to read their signs we never contraried 'em +at all, but just let 'em heave out any tale they could think up an' +pretend 'at we believed it; an' hanged if I don't begin to suspicion +that the' 's a heap o' truth in some o' their nonsense. + +Purty near every one of 'em insisted that at one time all those +mountains, even old Savage, had been under water, an' they'd take us +out an' show us the signs; but we couldn't stomach that until we +found out that this was one o' the Injun traditions too, an' then we +give in. + +Well, one o' these strays was what they call an astronomer. His +speciality was the stars, nothing less; an' he knew 'em by name an' +could tell you how far off they are an' what they weigh an' how many +moons they had an'--oh, he knew 'em the same as I know the home +herd, an' he didn't only know what they had done--he knew what they +was a-goin' to do, an' when he called the turn on 'em, why they up +an' done it. Comets an' eclipses an' sech like miracles were jest +the same to this feller as winter an' summer was to me, an' we fed +him until he like to founder himself, tryin' to hold him through the +winter; but at last he had to go, an' after he'd gone Cast Steel was +purty down-hearted for quite a spell. + +"It ain't fair, Happy," sez he to me one day after the astronomer +had gone. + +"No," sez I, "I reckon it will rain before mornin'." + +"I mean it ain't a fair shake," sez he. "Jupiter has eight of 'em +an' we ain't but one an' the' ain't nobody lives there, while--" + +"What do you happen to be talkin' of?" sez I. + +"Why moons," sez he. "It seems too doggone bad for that confounded +planet to have eight moons an' no one to enjoy 'em while my little +girl jest dotes on 'em an' we only have one--an' IT don't work +more'n half the time." + +That was Cast Steel: he didn't look on life or death, or wealth or +poverty, or anything else except in the way it applied to Barbie-- +but she was worth it, she was worth it, an' I never blamed him none. + +But you needn't get the idea that Jabez was one o' these fond an' +lovin' parents what sez: "My child, right if perfectly convenient, +but right or wrong, my child." Not on your future prospects! Jabez, +he sez: "My child, right from the shoes up, if the Rocky Mountains +has to be ground to powder to make her so." + +I remember the day she was six year old; he hardly ever laid out the +details for her conduct, he jest sort o' schemed out a general plan +and left her free to adjust herself to it, like a feller does with a +dog or a pony he expects to keep a long time an' don't want to turn +into a machine. He had told Barbie he didn't want her to ride +nothin' 'at wasn't safe. Well, on the mornin' she became a six-year- +old he came out o' the side door an' saw her disappearin' in the +distance on top a big pinto 'at he had sent over for Buck Harmon to +bust; it havin' already pitched Spider Kelley an' dislocated his +shoulder. + +"Who roped that pony for her?" yelled Cast Steel. + +"I did," sez I. "She said 'at this was her birthday an' she was +tired of actin' like a kid an' intended to ride a real ridin' hoss." + +"If a hair of her head is injured, hell won't hide ya!" sez Cast +Steel, an' his lip trembled an' his eyes fairly smoked. + +"She's jest as safe as if she was in her bed," sez I, as gentle as I +could. "I taught her how to ride, an' I ain't ashamed o' the job. +She can give Spider Kelley cards an' spades an' beat him to it every +time. But as far as that goes--" + +I didn't get to finish because here she come, tearin' back on the +pinto. Her hair was flyin', her eyes was dancin', an' she was +laughin'--laughin' out loud. Light an' easy she pulled the pinto up +beside us an' calls out: "Oh, daddy, this is lovely, this is mag-ni- +fi-cent"--the little scamp used to pick up big words from the +Easterners, an' when she had one to fit she never wasted time on a +measly little ranch word--"oh, I'm never goin' to ride old Kate +again." + +"Git off that pony," sez Jabez, makin' a reach for the bit; but the +pony shied, whirled, an' purty nigh kicked his head off. He stood +still in a daze while Barbie was circling the pony an' gettin' him +quiet again. + +"How's she goin' to get off?" asked Jabez, turnin' to me. + +"Simply climb down," sez I purty short. I had some temper those +days, an' I hadn't got over his insinuations, an' I didn't intend +to. + +"She'll be killed!" sez Jabez. I never said a word. + +"She'll be killed!" he repeated, an' his voice was filled with +anguish. + +"Get down off the pony, Barbie," sez I, an' she threw her little leg +over the saddle an' hit the grass like an antelope. The pony never +stirred. Ol' Jabez stood watchin' her with his eyes poppin' out. +"Turn the brute loose!" he shouts. "What for?" sez she. "'Cause I +say so!" he fairly roars. + +Well, she walks up, pats the pinto on the nose, an' slips the bridle +off his head. He just stands still an' watches her as mild as a pint +o' cream. + +"Rope that pony," sez Cast Steel to me. + +"Get one o' your own men to rope it," sez I. + +He looked into my eyes a moment an' then he called to George +Hendricks to rope the pinto; but when George hove in sight with his +rope the pinto took to his heels an' made for the horizon. "There +goes a ninety-dollar saddle," sez Jabez to me, "an' it's all your +damned nonsense." + +"It ain't either," sez Barbie, as fierce as a wounded bear, "it's +all your damned nonsense. Happy has been trainin' that pony nights +for my birthday an'--" + +"Barbara!" yells Jabez, "what do you mean by usin' such langwidge? +I'll line you out for this. You know mighty well--" + +"Now you play accordin' to the rule," sez Barbie. "You was teachin' +me to play seven up last week an' you said that everybody had to +play by the same rule. I reckon that goes in cussin' too." + +Well, they looked into each other's eyes for quite some while, an' +then Jabez sez: "Go into the house, Barbara, an' we'll both think it +over, an' as soon as we get time we'll settle it." + +"All right," sez Barbie, an' she turns around an' marches to the +house, her little head held like a colonel's. Just before she +reached the house she turned an' calls: "You'll get the pinto for +me, won't you, Happy?" I sort o' half nodded my head, an' she went +on into the house. + +"Did you ever see such grit?" sez Cast Steel, "an' her only six. +Kids oughtn't to act so grown up at six, had they, Happy?" + +"I reckon 'at kids are pretty much like colts an' puppies an' other +young things: give 'em dolls to play with an' they'll play like +children, but start 'em out on cards an' ponies, an' range 'em off +with nothin' but grown folks, an' they're bound to have ways like +grown folks'." + +Jabez fidgeted around a while, an' then he sez, "Are you goin' to +try to catch the pinto? + +"I am goin' to catch it," sez I, rollin' a cigarette. + +He kind o' nervoused around a few minutes longer an' then he sez, +"What did you mean a while ago?" + +"Jest whatever I said," sez I. "I don't know what you're a-referrin' +to, but if I said it, that's what I meant." + +"When I asked you to rope the pinto you told me to git one o' my own +men to rope it; what does that mean?" + +"It means that when a man tells me that hell can't hide me from his +wrath, I 'm free to consider myself foot loose. A man don't want to +slaughter none of his own hands, an' if it should be that any one +feels called upon to go after my hide, I don't want to feel that the +time I 'm wastin' in takin' care o' that hide rightfully belongs to +another man who is payin' for it. Therefore I have quit. I'm goin' +to rope the pinto for Barbie, but I wouldn't do it for you, an' when +I get back I'll call around for what's comin' to me." + +"Well, go an' be hanged! You always was the most obstinate, high- +headed, bull-intellected thin-skin 'at ever drew down top wages for +punchin' cows. You're nothin' more than a kid, an' yet you swell +around an' expect a man--" + +"Well, I don't expect nothin' from you, ceptin' my wages," sez I. + +"You go to Jericho, will you!" snaps Jabez. "You don't need to think +that I'd try to argue any man on earth into workin' for me. I can +get an army o' riders as good or better than you--but the gel likes +you, Happy, an'--" + +"An' that's why I 'm goin' after the pinto," sez I, an' I flopped +onto a pony an' sailed out to a little glen in the foothills where I +knew I 'd find him, an' as soon as I had towed him back to the +corral I put my saddle on the old beast I had rode there an' set +off. + +Just as I rode around the edge o' the corral, ol' man Judson stood +there grittin' his teeth. "What are you ridin' that old skin for?" +sez he. + +"'Cause it's the only pony I got," sez I. + +"You leave it here an' take your pick out o' the five-year-olds," +sez he. + +"All I want out o' this ranch is what I have earned," sez I. + +"If you don't get something 'at your pride'll earn some day, I'm the +biggest fool this side o' the big ditch. Here's your pay. You've +been a fair hand, but don't forget that I never hire a man twice, +an' I've hired you once already." + +"Now look here, Jabez," sez I, "I ain't so old as I'll get if I live +as long as I may, but I'm old enough to know that it's just as easy, +to find a good boss as it is to find a good man. I've done my work +without fussin', an' you've seen me in a pinch or two; an' yet this +very mornin' you intimated than I 'd risk Barbie on a pony she +couldn't ride. The' ain't nothin' I wouldn't do for that child, but +you don't understand her, an' if you go on in your high-handed way +with her you 're in for the sorrow o' your life--mark my words." + +"Here's your money. You ain't got sense enough to know your place +an' I 'm glad to be shut of you." Jabez handed me my pay an' stamped +over to the ranch house, while I kept on down the valley trail. + +When I reached the turn I twisted about in my saddle an' looked at +the cluster o' buildings. They looked soft an' gray with old Mount +Savage standin' on guard back of 'em, an' the' was a bigger lump +under my necktie than I generally wore. I didn't have mach call to +go anywhere, an' I sat there on my old pony, wonderin' whether or +not it paid to be game. + +If my mother had been alive, jest at that point would have been +where the West would have lost the benefit of my personal +supervision--but then if my mother had lived I shouldn't never 'a' +left home. I stood a stepmother six months out o' respect to my Dad, +but I wouldn't 'a' stood that one a year--well, anyway, not unless +I'd been chained an' muzzled. + +It's a funny thing to me how a man can drink an' fight an' carry on +for a year at a clip an' then all of a sudden feel a hurtin' +somewhere inside that nothin' wouldn't help but a little pettin'. He +knows doggone well 'at there ain't none comin' to him, so he hides +it by cuttin' up a little worse than usual but it's there, an' Gee! +but it does rest heavy when it comes. Why, take me even now when +the' wouldn't nothin' but a grizzly bear have the nerve to coddle +me, an' yet week before last I felt so blue an' solitary 'at I +couldn't 'a' told to save me whether I was homesick or whether it +was only 'cause the beans was a little sour. + +I sat there on the old pony a good long time, an' then I heaved a +sigh 'at made me swell out like an accordion, an' headed back to the +valley trail. When I turned around, there, standin' in the trail +before me with a streak down each cheek, stood Barbie. + +"Ya ain't goin', are ya?" sez she. + +"I got to go, honey," sez I. + +"Ain't ya never comin' back?" asked she. + +"Oh, I'll come back some day, ridin' a big black hoss with silver +trimmed leather--an' what shall I bring little Barbie?" sez I, +tryin' to be gay. + +"Just bring me yourself, Happy, that's all the present I want. I +love you because you're the handsomest man in the world"--yes, it +was me she meant, only o' course that was some years ago an' the +child was unthinkable young--"an' cause you tell me the nicest +stories, an' train pintos, an'--an' I'm goin' to marry you when I +grow up." + +"Marry me, kitten?" sez I, laughin' free an' natural this time. +"Why, bless your heart, where did you ever hear o' marriage?" + +"My Daddy tells me of my mother, an' what a beautiful lady she was, +an' how happy they were together--an' I'm goin' to marry you when +you come back." + +"Well, Barbie," sez I right soberly, "you be true to me an' I'll be +true to you, an' now we'll kiss to bind the promise." + +So I lifted her to my saddle an' kissed her. "How did you get here, +child?" sez I. + +She didn't answer for a minute. "I rode old Kate," said she at last, +"but I didn't want you to know it. She's over behind that rock. And +now, Happy, don't you dare to forget me. Good-bye." + +I set her down in the road with her eyes misty an' her white teeth +set in her lips, an' my own eyes were so hazy like that I couldn't +see her when I looked back, an' then I rode away down the valley +trail. + + + + +CHAPTER TWO + +CONVINCING A COOK + + +I'm as wild as any comet when I first swing out o' my regular orbit, +an' I rode on an' on, sometimes puttin' up for the night at a ranch +house an' sometimes campin' out in the open, where I'd lay till dawn +gazin' up at the stars an' wonderin' how things were goin', back at +the Diamond Dot. I mooned on until at last I wound up in the Pan +Handle without a red copper, an' my pony sore footed an' lookin' +like what a crow gets when the coyotes invite him out to dinner. + +I drew rein one night along side a most allurin' camp fire. I had +noticed the herd when I came along in, an' they was dandies; big +solid five-year-olds, hog fat, but they wasn't contented--kept +fidgetin' around. When I struck the fire, a fair haired young feller +was readin' a book, two Greasers an' a half blood Injun was playin' +poker with an old bunch o' whiskers 'at wasn't a ridin' man at all +while the cook had turned in without washin' the dishes. + +"If anybody's at home," sez I, "I'd like to ask permission to set +down an' rest." + +"Why, certainly, make yourself at home," sez the fair hair. The +balance o' the bunch only give me the side eye. + +"Would you need any more help?" I asked, most respectful. + +"No, thank you," sez the young feller, "I think we'll make it all +right." + +"You have a nice bunch here," sez I, "an' I thought perhaps you +might want to get 'em to market in good shape. I am referrin' to the +cows"--I continued, kind o' takin' the cover off my voice. + +"We expect to get them to market in good shape," sez the fair-hair, +uncoilin' his dignity. I rolled a cigarette. + +"What makes you think we won't get them to market in good shape?" +sez he. + +"'Cause your cook's got a sour temper, an' the' ain't no one bossin' +the job--'at knows how," sez I, mild an' open-faced, an' lookin' +into the fire. The fair-hair straightens up with a snort, while the +pot-openers begin to cuss sort o' growly. + +"Where are you from an' how long have you been making my business +your own?" asked the fair-hair. + +"Oh, I come from up no'th a ways; but I ain't ever made your +business mine. I never saw your outfit until twenty minutes ago--but +I've seen other outfits." + +"Can you handle cattle?" sez he. + +"Yes," sez I--"and men." + +"Well, I think you can join us," sez he, kind o' slow. "The cattle +don't seem to be as gentle as they did when we started. I think it +is because we are short handed and have to be a little too rough +with them." I didn't answer. + +"Well, do you want the job?" sez he. + +"Who's the foreman?" sez I. + +"I am in charge," he answers stiff like. + +"You're the owner, I know, but who's in charge o' the men?" + +"I take full supervision," sez he. + +"I don't want the job," sez I. + +"All right," he snaps, "I don't recall havin' sent for you." "No +offense," sez I, "but up my way it's generally polite to inquire +about the appetite. If any one was to ask me, I'd say I was hungry. +If any one was to urge me, I'd be obliged to meet up with a little +food." I looked him gently in the eyes. He dropped his an' looked +put out. + +"Tell you the truth, I'm havin' a dog's time of it with my cook. +He's gone to bed an' I don't think there's a thing to eat." + +"What'll the night riders do?" I asked. + +"Oh, they'll raise Cain as usual, but that's all the good it'll do +'em." + +"That ain't all they'll do," sez I. "Chances are they'll take it out +on the cattle, an' they may--they may even go so far as to get the +cattle to cut up until the day shift has to turn out an' help quiet +'em." + +"Is that the reason?" he asked, his face lightin' up. + +"I don't know for sure, but that's my first guess," sez I. + +He looked down at his feet an' I looked him over. He was a nice +lookin', well built boy, but he was up against it for about the +first time, an' I saw his finish. "I would take the job o' foreman," +I sez. + +"I hire you--ten a month advance over regular wages, an' you to +begin to-morrow." + +"No," sez I, "me to begin to-night--with supper." + +"All right," sez he, laughin', "help yourself." + +I walked over to the cook wagon, as I hit the shadow I loosened my +guns, an' the very minute they slipped in their holsters my lone- +sickness rolled off like a cloud an' the hurtin' melted out o' my +inwards. They was somethin' rolled up in a Navajo under the cook +wagon an' I sized it up. It appeared to be seven feet long, but I +kicked it in the ribs. Things began to happen at once. A huge +creature of a man slid out on the opposite side of the cook wagon, +an' when he came around the tail of it he was holdin' a bear gun so +it would explode without much ceremony. He was usin' some language +an' his speed was a thing to covet; but I just stood with my back to +the fire, waitin' until I could get a chance to introduce myself. He +was in the light, an' he was enough to make a man reform. Nigger, +Greaser, Injun--oh, he was the hardest lookin' specimen I had ever +seen, an' the think that occurred to me was that some time a woman +had rocked him to sleep an'--kissed him. That's the queer thing +about me. My face don't change, but I never got into a mess in my +life without some outlandish, foreign idea poppin' into my head an' +tryin' to hog my attention. + +My attention wasn't much required just at that moment anyhow. He +held the bear gun loose in his hand an' swore on like the roar of a +mountain torrent. Once I glanced over my shoulder an' saw a pained +look on the fair-hair's face, while the ante-up bunch was grinning +wickedly an' waitin' for my finish. Me lookin' younger an' easier at +that time than I really was, proved a big thing in my favor. Well, +as soon as the mongrel cook had cussed himself clean an' dry, he +yells at me, "Who in the hell are you an' what in the hell do you +want?" + +"I'm the new foreman," sez I in a school-girl voice, "an' I want my +supper." + +He wasn't prepared for it an' dropped his gun to his side while he +began to narrate false an' profane eulogies about my breedin' an' +past history. He took a few steps toward me so as I wouldn't lose +none of his remarks, an' all of a sudden I swung half around an' +kicked him in the jaw with my heel, which was a trick I had learned +from a French sailor. It took me forty-five minutes to come to, +after I received my first an' only lesson, an' I wasted a full year +huntin' for that sailor. Any time durin' the first six months I'd +have ventilated him completely, but after that I wanted to thank +him, 'cause I had learned an' tried the trick by that time, an' it +was worth all it cost. + +But this cook was no wax figger, an' he only lay quiet a moment +before he began to roll around an' groan. I picked up a neck yoke +what was handy, an' I went for him. I hit him in the butt o' the ear +an' on the back o' the neck an' in the center o' the forehead--I +tried him out in all the most stylish places, until finally he dozed +off. + +"Bring me a lantern--you man with the whiskers," I called out. + +He riz to his feet like a machine. "It ain't filled," he said. + +"I don't know much about fillin' LANTERNS," I remarked to him +kindly, "but I have had some experience in fillin' other things. +Bring me the lantern, filled an' lighted--and don't keep me +waitin'." + +I then noticed two fellers a hoss back. "Do you belong to this +outfit?" sez I. + +"Yes, we're the night riders," answered one o' 'em stickin' up his +hands, which plan seemed good to the other one also. + +"What are you doin' here this time o' the evenin'?" I asked 'em. + +"We heard the racket an' we--we thought something was wrong, an' we- +-we came in to see--" + +"That's all right," sez I, "I'm the new foreman. You don't need to +put your hands up every time we meet, but I want you to understand +right now that I don't want those cows pestered any more. This +outfit is going to run smoother from this on, an' as soon as the +cook feels better he is going to cook my supper. I'll see that there +is plenty o' coffee for your midnight lunch, an' I want you to enjoy +yourselves--but I don't stand for no nonsense." + +I made a motion with my eye an' they rode back to the herd, an' by +that time the lantern had arrived, an' I poked around in the cook's +belongings an' confiscated two shootin' irons an' a wicked Mexican +knife. Then I threw a bucket o' water in his face an' he came out of +it. + +"How do you feel?" I asked him. + +"Oh, hell," he moaned, an' he meant every word of it, an' more. + +"Now see here, cook," sez I, in a mild voice, "I hate trouble, an' I +don't intend to be pestered with it. Do you know how to cook?" + +"Yes," he muttered. + +"Speak out free an' easy," I sez; "no blood at all is better than +bad blood, an' if you don't feel able to forgive me an' go about +your work in a friendly way, why I'll feel compelled to remove you +from our midst. You're not injured none, only bruised a bit, and I'm +famished for my supper. I'm always quick tempered when I'm hungry +an' I'm gettin' hungrier every minute. Are you ready to begin?" + +He slowly got up to his feet an' looked at me. "Come over to the +fire an' have a good look," I said, as though we were old friends. + +He followed me over to the fire an' he sure gave me a lookover. +"You're bigger'n I thought you was, an' you've been purty well +seasoned. I ain't never yet been licked without a gun an' I didn't +think it could be did. Will you fight me again--without weapons?" +"I'll never fight you again but once," sez I, an' my lips were +smiling, but all of a sudden a hatred of his cruel, evil eyes came +over me, an' my lips curled back over my teeth. "If you had known I +was your foreman an' had mixed with me I'd 'a' killed you a few +moments ago. The very next time you cross me I'll kill you. I sleep +light--when I do sleep. Are you goin' to cook my supper?" + +"Yes, you blasted rattler," sez he, with a grin, "you're the killin' +kind an' you're the killin' age, but I know when the jig's up. I +know your name all right, but hanged if I can see through your game. +I ain't goin' to try, either. As long as you choose to play at bein' +foreman, I'll play at bein' cook, an' when you start on again, I'm +willin' to join ya. I'll get your supper in a jiffey, Kid." + +I sauntered over to the fair-hair, tryin' to act as if this was an +every day occurrence. He had never changed his position all through +it, although his hands were tremblin'. + +I sat down beside him an' he chuckled softly--I liked that chuckle. +It was boyish an' friendly, but most of all it showed a good +foundation. He was new to the game, but he was the kind that +learned. + +"I suppose I'm purt nigh as old as you," he blurted out. + +"In some things, mebbe--not in the cattle business," sez I. + +"No," he grinned, "nor in the man-handlin' business, but I want to +tell you right now that I have enjoyed this evenin's performance, no +matter what happens from it. I ain't carryin' much cash with me," he +added after a moment's thought. + +"I ain't carryin' any," sez I. + +He looked into my face again an' gave his chuckle. A feller couldn't +help but echo when that fair-hair chuckled. "I heard the cook say he +knew you an' he called you Kid--I suppose you are the Pan Handle +Kid?" he asked. + +"I didn't know the' was a Pan Handle Kid, but they're pretty common +an' they're all a good bit alike. Forced to begin killin' before +they're able to put the right value on life, an' once they begin, no +way to stop. Now I'll tell you confidential that I'm not the Pan +Handle, nor any other kind of a kid, although I once was the makin' +of one. Still, it will make matters easier if this bunch thinks I +am, so we'll just let it go at that. My name is Happy Hawkins; what +might I call you?" + +"Happy?"--he opens his eyes like saucers an' then he laughs like a +boy. "Well, I watched you goin' after the cook with the neck yoke +an' I never in the world would have called you Happy." + +"Well, you'll see me trail in this bunch o' beef cattle, smooth an' +contented an' with every man jack rollin' fat an' dimpled to the +knuckles. They've had their last fuss. I'll feed 'em an' I'll work +'em from now on, an' you won't know 'em when we hit the market. +Where you headin' for, K.C.? + +"Yes. My name is Mister Jamison--James Jamison." + +"This is a warm climate," sez I. + +"Yes," he sez sort o' surprised, "it is." + +"It has an awful meltin' effect on names," I continued. + +He chuckled again. "I'm mighty glad you arrived, Happy," sez he. +"What do you suppose'll happen to my name?" + +"Well" I sez, "if you get yours before they learn to like you, it'll +probably be James Jamison on the headboard, but if you make good, +it'll be Jim Jimison on Sundays an' jest plain Jim for every day." +"That suits me," sez he. "I'm entered for the whole race, an' I'm +glad to get off as soon as possible." + +"Supper's ready," called the cooks, an' when I gave a whoop an' +bolted for it he giggled like a big fat mammy. I had turned up the +side of his nature 'at would be most useful to our business. I took +a sip o' the coffee while he kept his eyes glued on me. "Come over +here, Jim," I called. + +Jim came over lookin' a little anxious. "Taste that stuff," sez I. + +He tasted it an' his face changed as though he had caught a vision +of the better world, but I kept my face like the face of an angry +bear. "What do you call this stuff?" I asked the cook, an' his face +grew dark as a thunder cloud. + +"That's coffee!" he roared. + +"When was the pot cleaned?" I asked, with my brows drawn down to the +bridge of my nose. + +"Not more'n ten minutes ago," he yelled; and I got up an' holding my +cup in my hand I danced about twenty different dances, while that +cook like to split his sides laughin'. He was a cook, the' was no +gettin' around it, an' Jim, he turned in an' fed his face while +first his cheeks would dimple with the gladness o' the moment, an' +then his eyes would sadden as he thought of all the good eatin' he +had missed by not knowin' the proper kind o' diplomacy to use in +handlin' a cook. An' me!--say, I mowed away until my skin begun to +creak under the strain an' I couldn't roll my eyes more'n two +degrees. Then I got up an' I shook hands with the cook. + +"Cook," I sez, "no matter how devilish wicked you've been in the +past, an' no matter how faithful you live up to your inner nature in +the future, you're sure of a number nine crown an' a spotless robe +jest fer this one meal"; an' the cook, he fairly glistened in the +firelight. + +Well, this was about all they was to that expedition. We all got to +be so friendly with one another that by the time we had trailed that +bunch into the stock yards, we was like one big family of elder +brothers, an' Jim, he teased me into goin' back to the Pan Handle +with him. + +Jim was an Englishman--a younger brother. Up to that time I had +allus supposed 'at bein' a younger brother was somewhat in the +nature of an accident, an' not a thing to be hurled in a feller's +teeth; but over in England it's looked upon as a heinius crime, an' +the only thing a younger brother can do to square himself is to get +out o' sight. That's how Tim happened to be in the Texas Pan Handle +with a tidy little fortune his aunt had left him, tucked away in a +good-sized, well-stocked ranch. + +I took a good deal o' pains with him, 'cause he didn't have nothin' +but a book education, an' it wasn't altogether easy to get him to +see the true value o' things. He used to talk about Eton an' Oxford +purty solemn, until one night he helped me mill the herd durin' a +Norther', an' after that he took more kindly to the vital things o' +life, but he was a man, Jim was, an' he kept raisin' my wages right +along until I got that opulent feelin'. I never could stand +prosperity those days; just as soon as I had a weight o' money 'at I +could notice, I begun to grow restless, an' nothin' 'at Jim could do +or say had much effect. + +If things hadn't run in oil, I'd a-stayed right along, I reckon; but +it got so 'at the' wasn't a hitch from week to week, an' I couldn't +stand it. I never had a better friend in the world'n that cook was +after he'd saved my life. + +Jim had a kid sort o' chorin' around the place an' keepin' us from +gettin' old an' stupid. One nice bright winter's day the kid went +out for a ride; his pony came lopin' in just at sun down in the face +of a blizzard, an' I went out to look for the kid. I found him +trudgin' toward home an' cussin' his luck somethin' terrible. I put +him up behind me an' by that time the wind was shootin' needles o' +sleet into my face 'till I couldn't see a yard ahead. The kid +snuggled up to me an' went to sleep, an' I gave the pony his head +an' trusted to luck--no, come to think about it, that night I +trusted to somethin' higher than luck, 'cause it was a perfect demon +of a night. + +The pony dropped from a lope to a walk an' then he put his nose to +the ground an' fairly shuffled along. I was wearin' sheepskin with +the wool on, but after a time the needles began to creep in an' I +grew numb as a stone, while my flesh seemed shook loose from my +bones, an' it hurt me to breathe. Oh, Lord, but it was cold! If it +hadn't 'a' been for the kid I'd have gotten down an' walked +alongside the pony, but as it was, he was out o' the wind an' +sleepin' peaceful, so I just sat an' took it. + +At last I sort o' drowsed off myself. I didn't sleep, but I wasn't +awake; I seemed to be back at the Diamond Dot an' playin' in a +little sheltered dell with Barbie. She had made up a game called +Fairy Princess; sometimes she was the Fairy Princess an' sometimes I +was, an' it was a mighty amusin' sort of a game, but different from +most o' the games I was familiar with. + +Well, that night out in the Texas blizzard I was playin' that game +with little Barbie, an' all of a sudden--smash! Before I knowed what +had happened we had been run into an' knocked down a ravine an' both +the kid an' the pony was lyin' on top o' me. The kid got up all' +begun to cuss as usual, but the pony never moved. I'd a heap sight +rather had the conditions reversed, 'cause the pony was on my right +leg an' my right leg was on a sharp stone. + +"Shut up, kid," sez I, "this ain't no time for such talk. Here, you +curl up alongside the pony an' I'll spread part o' my coat over +you." + +That kid was a home-maker all right; nothin' ever surprised him, an' +wherever he lit he made himself comfortable. In two minutes he was +asleep, while I began to puzzle it out. We were in a sheltered spot +an' the wind swept above us; but it was so dark that you couldn't +see ten inches. The wind was from the no'th, an' I went over every +bit o' landscape in the country until at last I figgered out the' +was only one place in Texas that filled the bill. A path swung +around a crag an' the' was a shelf of stone ten feet below it an' +eight feet wide, then it cut off sheer, fifty feet to the rocky bank +of a creek. I reached out with my hand an' felt the edge of it, an' +it give me an awful chill. I don't like to come quite so close. + +After a time the wind veered around a little more to the east an' +then it sucked up through the cut an' I began to freeze. I didn't +care a great deal 'cause it stopped the horrid hurtin' in my leg; +but the dead pony began to cool, an' I knew it was only a question +o' minutes. Finally I awoke the kid. "Where is your gun, kid?" I +sez. + +"I shot all my catridges tryin' to bring some one out on a pony," +sez the kid, drowsily, an' then he dozes off again. + +We were only a mile from the ranch house; it was again the wind an' +it wasn't much use to waste ammunition, but I finally got out my gun +an' begun to shoot at intervals. + +"What the deuce you makin' that racket for?" grunted the kid at the +third shot. I boxed his ears and went on shootin' until at last the +cold went through sheepskin an' woolens an' hide an' flesh, an' I +grew warm an' contented; an' the next I knew, the cook was rubbin' +my wrists an' pourin' hot coffee into me. I was purty mad at bein' +dragged back to earth an' grumbled about it free an' hearty, but the +cook kept croonin' to me the same as if I'd been a baby: "Neveh +mind, honey, neveh mind; ol' Monody'll bring ya around all right. +Take another sip o' coffee, chile, that's right, that's right." + +It took me quite a spell before I could tell whether I was alive or +not, 'cause while the cook had changed a heap since I'd first met up +with him, I'd never heard any such talk as this; but after a time I +came out of it an' the anguish I underwent gettin' back to life +wasn't nowise worth the experiment. + +It had stopped blowin', but it was colder than ever, an' at last I +began to take enough interest in things to want 'em to get settled +one way or another. As soon as I was able to think along a straight +line, the cook would give a heave to the pony an' I would give +myself a jerk. The lantern shed a splash o' light on the shelf, but +the jump-off looked like the mouth o' the pit, an' I jerked purty +tol'able careful. At last I was out, an' if you'll believe it, my +leg was only broke in two places. I thought it was broken clear off. +I couldn't get back up the cliff to the trail any way we could +figger, so the cook said I should roll up in the Navajos he'd +brought an' he'd take the kid an' go back an' bring a couple o' the +boys an' pack me in. + +The kid had found the blankets all right an' had rolled himself up, +an' we had to shake the stuffin' out of him to rouse him again. He +complained most bitter when he found he had to go back to the ranch +house; but at last they got started an' it wasn't long before they +had me there too, an' next day Phil McLaughlin rode over an' brought +out a doctor who lined up my bones as good as new, while Jim told me +about the cook. + +Old Monody was like a salamander for heat, an' you couldn't drag him +away from the fire in the winter time; but when I didn't return he +began to worry: "If the' was a man left in this outfit I reckon he'd +go out an' get him," he'd say scornful. "Riders! you call yourselves +riders? You're loafers an' eaters, that's what you are! I'm a cook, +but if nobody else has the nerve to go an' git him, I'll go myself." + +Jim started to go at last, but he wouldn't let him. "You got the +grit, Jim, but you ain't got the night sense yet. You stay where you +are or you'd be on our hands too." Well, he steamed up an' down +makin' new hot coffee an' drinkin' it by the bowl. All of a sudden +he give a scream: "Oh, oh! there he goes over the cliff! Get me a +pony--get me a pony, while I wrap up some coffee an' pick out some +blankets!" Well, the cook was so blame wild by this time 'at they +was glad to get shut of him; so they rigged him out an' he rode a +bee line right to me, an' what led him you can figger out for +yourselves. He was a queer cook, but after that night he was +different: he acted as though he had adopted me; he petted me an' +spoiled me an' you can talk all you want to about the flesh-pots of +Egypt--why, that cook could fix beans eleven different ways, an' +each one better'n the other. + +But while I was lyin' there waitin' for my leg to knit up, I kept +thinkin' o' the little lass back at the Diamond Dot, an' when I got +about again, I knew I was signed for a trip No'th. + + The cook was mighty good to me while I was backin' it; he used to +deal out fussy little fixin's 'at kept the appetite an' the fever +both down, an' when they wasn't no one around he used to pat out my +pillers an' oncet he smoothed back my hair. He cut out his cussin' +too, an' he used to line up the kid for it. + +"You're from the South, ain't ya, Happy?" sez he to me one day. + +"Not so you could notice," sez I. "I reckon this is the southest I +ever got before." + +"Hu," sez the cook, "Texas ain't south. Texas is just the rubbish +heap o' this whole country. Where did you hook up to that word +'reckon'?" + +"I dunno," sez I, thinkin' back. "A feller just catches words like +the mumps, I suppose; but my pap, he used to use it right often." + +"Where did your folks come from?" sez the cook. + +"Oh, they come from Kentucky, an' before that from Virginia an' +No'th Carolina, an' before that they came from Scotch Irish an' +English, an' go clear back to Adam an' you'll find us Hawkinses was +a ramblin' crew, I reckon; but what on earth you drivin' at, Monody, +an' where on earth did your line hail from?" + +He sat there a moment with lights an' shades dartin' over his ugly +face, which somehow wasn't ugly to me any more, an' at last he said: +"I have the blood of an Injun chief an' an African king an' a +Spanish nobleman in my veins, an'--" + +"Lord, man, you ought to let some of it out," I interrupted. "You'll +have an eruption in your in'ards some day 'at'll blow you into a +million pieces." + +"No, I got 'em all whipped out now, Happy, an' I reckon 'at you did +it. You 're the only man I ever met 'at I ain't once felt like +killin'." + +"It's pleasant to think o' what a good neighbor you've been all your +life, cook; but I'm glad you've turned over since I met up with you. +Anyhow, you've been a heap o' comfort to me, an' anything I got is +on your list too, don't you never forget it." + +But just the same, as soon as I got up an' around again, I had a +terrible tuggin' from the no'th an' I couldn't resist it. I'd be +makin' plans for the summer an' then all of a sudden I'd find myself +sayin, "What in the world do you reckon 'at that child is doin' now. +She'll be eight years old shortly, an' I simply have to see her on +her next birthday, even if she don't see me." At last I couldn't +stand it no longer, so I told the boys I had to cut, an' it fell +like a stone on a lamp chimney; but the cook, he took it harder'n +any one else. I liked the boys an' I liked Jim an' I liked the job; +but there was that tuggin' allus at my heart, an' in the end I set a +day. Jim, he made me all kinds of offers, 'cause things were gettin' +easy with him; but when I made it clear to him, he saw how it was +an' he sez: "I know 'at you'll come back to me some day, Happy, an' +if you'll settle down, you can be a rich man. I've kept back five +hundred dollars for you 'at I haven't mentioned in your wages, an' +you can take your pick o' the colts an' just as soon as you've had +your little flier I want you back; we all want you back." + +It's a comfortin' feelin' to know 'at you're goin' to be missed; but +I couldn't savvy that cook. He had one big tearin' time of it an' +sluiced himself out with gin an' dug up his old profanity, an' then +he simmered down an' just cooked himself into a new record. Gee! it +was hard to separate from that mess table; but I had set my day an' +the' was no goin' back. + +Jim had a black Arabian stallion an' a couple o' high grade mares +an' he was showin' up something fancy in the hoss line. He raised +the colts just like range ponies, an' while they wasn't quite so +tough when it came to livin' on sage brush an' pleasant memories, +they could eat up the ground like a prairie fire, an' they was +gentle. I bought a silver trimmed bridle an' some Mexican didoes, +an' then I said good-bye to all of 'em except the cook--he wasn't +there. + +I hunted for him an hour; but he had so many peculiar ways 'at I +just let it go at that an' finally gave him up; so I left him a +nifty present an' pulled out with about a thousand yellow ones in my +belt an' the best mount in the West. + +I hadn't gone more than two miles before I turned a corner an' came +face to face with ol' Monody. He was settin' on a big bald-faced +roan, an' he had a serious look on his face. "Well, I wondered if +you was goin' to let me go away without sayin' good-bye," sez I, +tryin' to talk light an' easy. + +"I'd be apt to," sez he. "Why, I've been peacefuller since you been +here'n ever I was in my life before, an' it ain't likely I'd let you +scoot out an' leave me. I'm goin' along." + +Well, what do you think of that! Me startin' up to where I wasn't +sure of a welcome an' takin' such a tow as ol' Monody along with me. +I argued with him for an hour, an' then I got hot an' told him that +merely savin' my life didn't give him no mortgage on me an' that he +couldn't nowise keep up with me, an' by the time he reached the +Diamond Dot, the chances were 'at I'd be on my way back to the Lion +Head. He didn't waste no time in words, just sat sour an' moody, an' +every tine I'd stop he'd growl out, "I don't care where you go or +how fast you go or nothin' at all about it. I'm goin' along, an' +I'll catch up with you sometime." + +I sure gave him a chase; I wanted the black hoss to show up well +when I landed, but I sent him along pretty steady an' took extra +care of him. Ol' Monody had picked out the toughest pony at the Lion +Head, an' he had good hands, but he never sighted me till the night +I reached the ranch and was busy wipin' Starlight's legs. "I got +some news for ya," sez ol' Monody, gettin' down slow from his leg- +weary roan. "I'll tell it to ya while you 're eatin supper,"--an' I +was sure glad to see him--an' glad to eat food again. + + + + +CHAPTER THREE + +UNDER FIRE + + +As soon as I finished takin' care o' Starlight, I give Monody's +mount a look-over. The old bald-face was whipcord an' steel; but he +looked purty near ready to own up. + +"Monody, confound you," I sez. "What the deuce did you hammer this +old skin over the road like this for?" + +"That's my pony," he growled. + +"Since when?" + +"Since I bought him, that's since when." + +"When did you buy him?" + +"It ain't none o' your business when I bought him. I bought him the +mo'nin' you pulled out." + +"What did you pay for him?" + +"Are you goin' to talk about that ol' cayuse all night?" he snorts, +gettin' wrought up. + +"I'm goin' to talk about him until I find out about him," sez I, +"an' you might as well come out of it an' tell what the' is to +tell." + +"I don't have to tell nothin' about him. He neveh belonged to you. +Jim, he owed me some money on my wages so I just took the pony for +the money. An' now I hope you're through pesterin' me." + +"How much did he owe ya?" sez I. + +"Now you gone about far enough with this!" yells Monody. "I don't +know how much he owed me, an' I don't care. I reckon he owed me +more'n the pony's worth,'n if he didn't he can just pertend he +raised my wages last month." + + "Why didn't you let him raise your wages a little more, an' bring +along a bunch o' five-year-olds too?" sez I, grinning. I was mighty +glad to see the old scamp, an' I knew he had drawed the worst end o' +the bargain; but I wanted him to understand that it was embarrassin' +to go again my wishes without my consent. He had the pot o' coffee +just ready to set on the rock where we was goin' to eat, an' all of +a sudden he straightened up an' shot a scowl into me. "Look here, +Happy." sez he, "I don't care a sky blue flap doodle for the whole +Jim Jimison outfit! I told you I was comin' along, an' I come. I +tells you again that I'm goin' wherever you go; but if you don't +shet up about that royally sequestered ol' ball faced camel, I'll +dash this scaldin' hot coffee--right on the ground!" + +Well, I fell on my knees an' begged him to spare me, an' I kept it +up until he was gigglin' with laughter--he had a funny way o' +laughin'--an' then we sat on the stone an'--well, the' never was a +human mortal 'at was qualified to carry water for ol' Monody's +cookin'. + +"What's your news, Monody?" I sez, after I 'd satisfied myself that +I couldn't swaller another crumb. + +"You're headin' for the Diamond Dot, ain't ya?" sez he. + +"This is a corner o' the Diamond Dot range," sez I, lollin' back an' +puffin' slow an' comfortable at my pipe. + +"The pony corral stands at the mouth of a little canon, don't it?" + +"Yes," sez I. + +"An' the cook house is to the right of it?" + +"Yes," sez I. + +"An' the ranch house is kind o' sprawly with--" + +"Look here, Monody," sez I, interruptin', "this ain't no news. What +are you gettin' at?" + +"You got friends there, ain't ya?" sez he. + +"I got one friend anyhow," sez I, "but as long as you've insisted on +taggin' along after me, you'll see the place an' you'll see my +friend; though I somehow doubt if you'll be invited in for a meal." + +"Is your friend a lady?" sez Monody. + +"Oh, no," sez I, sarcastic, "she 's a two-year-old heifer. I +wouldn't think o' goin' this distance just to call on a lady." + +"How old is she?" asked Monody. + +"Now you look here, you old pest," sez I, "lf you're just tryin' to +get even with me about the bald-faced roan, why cut it; but if +you've got anything to tell, why tell it, 'cause I'm gettin' sleepy. +She'll be eight years old to-morrow." + +Old Monody shook with silent laughter for a moment. "A lady!" sez +he. Then he sobered an' sez, "Is it your child?" + +I heaved a rock at him which he dodged, an' then I sez, "You wicked +of beast you, do I look old enough to have an eight-year-old +daughter?" + +"Sometimes you do an' sometimes you don't. You're one o' these +fellers 'at ain't got no age o' their own, but just age up accordin' +to what's goin' on,"--an' ol' Monody stumbled on a bit o' truth when +he said this, an' it's still true. + +"Well, what are you gettin' at?" sez I. + +"The Diamond Dot is goin' to be raided to-night," sez he. + +I jumped to my feet. "Who by?" I sez. + +"You're fifteen years older right now than you was two minutes ago," +sez Monody. "I stumbled onto Bill Brophy's gang last night. Bill has +seven o' the lowest grade wolves 'at ever wore man-hide--I--I used +to know Bill down in the Territory, an' Bill he thought I was still +on the grab. He put me on. I'm supposed to be at the pony corral at +midnight to turn the ponies loose an' bottle up the house gang in +their shack. Brophy's bad medicine; you'd better pass up your eight- +year-old lady friend an' come on back to the Lion Head with ol' +Monody." + +I walked up an' down a time or two, thinkin' it over. "We can ride +right into the ravine 'at leads to the pony corral from here," sez +I. "It's a good average four hours' ride. Now I can do it in three +on Starlight; the old bald-face couldn't do it at all to-night--" + +"Look at him now," sez Monody. There he was eatin' grass as lively +as a cricket. "Well, you follow as you can, only you'd better lay +low unless I whistle the Lion Head signal. If I get time to break +you gentle to the home gang, it'll be all right; but you ain't apt +to be due for a cordial welcome, not when strangers to you are +lookin' for hold-ups." + +He had tossed the saddles an' bridles on the hosses by this time, +an' we left our outfit lyin' on the rocks. We hit the saddles in the +same tick an' settled into a swing. Big an' heavy as ol' Monody was, +be was a light rider, an' the bald-face hung at my cinch for the +best part of an hour an' then we slowly oozed away from him. The +stars were all full power that night, an' a feller could see most as +plain as if the'd been a moon. + +It smelt good to be back at the old place again, an' my blood was +racin' through my veins till I fair tingled. Finally I reached the +canon an' began to ride careful. It was only about eleven; but I +didn't want any o' Brophy's gang to take a pot shot at me. All of a +sudden something moved on a little grassy shelf on the side of the +cliff. Starlight shied off to the left an' my gun flew up over my +head, ready to drop on whatever it happened to be. My eyes were +drillin' into the gloom when a mite of a creature with her hands +clasped rose up an' said, "Oh, Happy, Happy! is it really you? an' +ridin' on the black hoss with the silver trimmed leather!" + +"Barbie, child!" I cried, "what on earth you doin' out here this +time o' night an' all by your lone?" + +"I just couldn't sleep, Happy," she said, comin' to the edge o' the +shelf an' sittin' down with her little bare feet swingin' over; "I +got to wonderin' how it would feel just when the birthday was a- +comin' on; so I sneaked out here, an' I was just beginnin' to feel +it when you hove into sight. I been thinkin' o' you lots lately, +Happy." + +"You little minx, you," sez I, "I doubt if you've thought of me +twice since I been away, while I've been thinkin' of you every +minute. But come, jump down behind me an' we'll hurry on. I want you +to go in an' wake Daddy up an' tell him I've got something mighty +important to say to him, while I scurry over an' wake up the home +gang." + +"The home gang ain't here," sez Barbie." The ponies vamoosed this +afternoon--they nearly always do the days I turn Mr. H. Hawkins with +them,--that's what I call the pinto. He's an awful scamp; but the +best pony on the place." + +"Then I reckon they'll bring 'em around the twist an' down this +canon. Now you get down here an' sneak into the house while I stake +out Starlight in the big cathedral--see how well I remember +everything." + +I set the child down, rode Starlight into a big open nook with a +narrow mouth, an' then hustled into the house. Old Cast Steel was +standin' in the dining room in his stockin'-feet with a gun in each +hand an' a question in his eyes. "Get ready for a raid, Jabez," sez +I. "Who from?" sez he. + +"From the Brophy gang," sez I. + +"How do you know?" sez he. "They are due to arrive here at midnight, +Jabez," sez I. "I don't know why; but I think we'd better get ready +for 'em now an' argue about it to-morrow." + +"I know why," sez lie. "One of 'em stole one o' my ponies an' +started to run off a bunch o' my own cows with it. I strung him up +an' he said 'at Bill Brophy'd get even with me for it. That was two +months ago, an' the' hasn't been a minute since 'at I was so bad +prepared for 'em. How many's in the gang?" + +"Bill an' seven others. I found out through the meanest lookin' +mortal you ever set eyes on. He's a giant, nearly black, an' the +ugliest critter you ever set eyes on; but he's white inside. He'll +be along as soon as he can get here--don't shoot him." + +"I ain't apt to shoot any help this night," grins Jabez. + +"If it wasn't for the little girl, Happy, I'd be right satisfied to +have it out with Bill; but I hate to think of what may happen to +her. How'll we fix for 'em?" + +"Get in the dug-out cellar," sez I, for I'd been plannin' it all +along. + +"I reckon they'll burn the house down," sez Jabez; "but I'd rather +they destroyed the whole blame outfit than to have anything happen +to the little lass." + +"Where's Melisse?" sez I. "She left," sez Jabez; an' I hadn't time +to learn particulars. + +By this time we had everything barricaded, an' gettin' Barbie we +made a run for the dug-out. It was only two hundred yards; but we +hadn't left the shadow of the house before a rifle sings out +followed by two revolver shots. The' was a big pile o' winter wood +in the L of the ranch house, an' without sayin' a word I swung Jabez +with little Barbie in his arms back of the wood pile. + +We didn't shoot much, although the gang kept pepperin' at the wood +pile purty frequent from behind the cook house. "They'll fire the +house purty soon," mutters Jabez, after we'd beat'em off on their +second rush. "We'll have to try for the dug-out sooner or later." + +Just at this minute the six notes o' the Lion Head signal floated +in. "There's ol' Monody," sez I. "I wish Barbie was safe an' we'd +show'em a merry time of it." I answered the call an' the' was +silence for a long time. Presently we heard a rattlin' volley, an' +the cook rolled around the corner o' the house an' joined us. + +"The next time they rush," sez Jabez, "we'll charge out after 'em +an' try for the dug-out. They won't monkey much longer." + +They didn't monkey at all. Two of 'em had broke into the house from +in front, an' the next we knew a window had been flung open at our +back an' we would a-got it right then, but Monody heard 'em, an' as +soon as the window shutter flew back he emptied his gun inside. At +the same time the remainin' six charged in a body, an' for the next +few minutes we was some busy. But we beat'em off, an' as they +scurried for shelter to load, we made for the dug-out; me in front, +ol' Jabez in the center, an' Monody closin' up the rear. + +Just before we reached it, a revolver cracked in the doorway o' the +dug-out, I felt a sting in the left shoulder, spun around and fell, +but jumped up just as Jabez changed directions for the cook shack. +It was only a step from the dug-out an' we rushed in, slammed the +door, dropped in the bar, an' turned to face a man with two guns on +us. Monody dropped on him, an' I was about to shoot from the hip +when of Jabez sez, "By George, Jim, I'd forgot all about you--we can +sure fix'em now. These is friends, Jim." Jim was a savage lookin' +brute an' I eyed him purty close. "This feller is cookin' while +Flapjack is on his bender, Happy," sez Jabez. + +The cook shack was built out o' pine logs at the bottom, an' fixed +so the upper sides'd swing out like awnings in hot weather. We felt +purty comfortable. The' was a square window at each end an' one on +the side facin' the house; the stove was on the other side. We made +little Barbie sit in the corner behind the stove. Jabez took the +window facin' the house, me the one facin' the dug-out, an' the sub- +cook facin' the corral. I could shoot cleaner'n Monody, so he stood +by to do my loadin', an' we proceeded to waste ammunition. It's +enough to make the oldest man the' is reckless, when you think of +the weight o' lead good aimers can throw without spillin' any blood. + +After a bit things grew quiet, an' then we saw a small freight-wagon +backin' down to the door with a lot o' wood across the back of it. +Jabez came over to my window an' we shot into an' under the wagon; +but it still backed up. The' was a little grade down to the cook +shack, an' after they got it started the' wasn't much to do but +guide. They had fixed a stick o' wood pointin' straight back from +the rear axle, an' when it hit the door the bar broke an' the door +flew off its hinges an' clear across the room. + +But gettin' the wagon away for their rush was a different matter, +an' we all shot at one another purty regardless. Once I reached back +my hand for a fresh gun an' failed to get any. I turned around, an' +there was Monody holdin' the sub-cook's right wrist with his left +hand an' grippin' at his throat with his right. The' was a horrid +look on the sub-cook's face, an' just as I turned to interfere, +Monody gave a wrench which tore out the cook's wind-pipe, gave him a +sling which landed him under the table, an' handed me a fresh gun. I +was some bothered about this; but that wa'n't no time to hold an +investigation, so I begun shootin' at flashes again. + +"How's your catridges holdin' out?" sez Jabez. + +"Ain't many left," sez Monody. + +"I'm about cleaned myself," sez Jabez. "Where's Jim?" + +"I think he's about once through," sez I, an' we proceeded to shoot +more economical. + +Purty soon they quit firin' again an' then the freight wagon started +up the hill. They had put their ropes on the tongue an' were +draggin' it out with ponies. We knew what that meant an' took a +brace. + +The lull what followed was the hardest part o' the whole business. +Ther' wasn't a blasted thing we could do, an' it seemed hours before +the neat volley came from the corner o' the dug-out. We didn't reply +to it, which was most uncommon lucky for us; 'cause first thing we +knew, they came rompin' around each corner an' poured in on top of +us. They was used to fightin' against odds, an' it irritated 'em +consid'able to take so long at a job with the odds in their favor. +Outside, the starlight give us a purty fair aim, while they couldn't +do more than guess at us--so we beat 'em off once more. + +"The's only three shots in this gun," sez Monody, cheerfully, as he +handed my iron back to me. + +"What's that?" sez Jabez. + +"We're about out o' fuel, Jabez," sez I. + +I heard him grit his teeth in the darkness. "Where is she, Happy?" +sez he. + +"She's still in her corner back of the stove with the shack door in +front of her. They won't hurt her, Jabez--no matter what happens, +an' the' 's a good fight in us yet. Ol' Monody here don't begin to +fight till the ammunition has give out; so keep your mind easy for +the next rush," sez I. + +Next moment they surged down on us, shootin' as fast as they could +fan. We didn't explode a catridge until they was bunched in the door +an' then we emptied out. They cussed an' groaned consid'able; but +they surged on into the cabin, just the same. The smoke was like a +cloud inside, an' a newcomer couldn't see an inch; so I backed into +my corner with my left arm danglin' at my side an' holdin' my gun by +the barrel. + +The shootin' stopped in a flash an' the silence hurt a feller's +ears. The' was a sloppy, floppin' sound over under the table an' now +an' again a low groan. "Fetch the lantern out o' the freight wagon, +an' let's chalk up." said a deep, heavy voice. In about a minute a +light ripped its way into darkness an' I never saw a worse sight. +Jabez was lyin' face down with a hairy viper on top of him face up. +The feller'd been pinked in the bridge o' the nose an' it was most +horrid ghastly. Two others lay still with their bodies inside the +shack an' their legs outside; while another was lyin' just at my +feet. Some one had swatted him in the temple with a revolver butt; +but the sight that just about made me homesick was Jim, the deputy +cook. + +Monody hadn't broken the windpipe, an' he wasn't dead yet. It was +him 'at made the floppin' sound. Oh, it was sickening! Brophy was a +fine lookin' man--I recognized him from his description right at +once--an' he hadn't been even grazed. He looked around cool but +quick, an' just about took it all in, in the snap of a finger. Then +he loaded both his guns before us an' made the feller with the +lantern do the same. After which he looked into Monody's eyes-- +looked into 'em until Monody's ugly black face turned ashy; but +Brophy hadn't even a scowl, an' when he spoke, his deep voice was +steady an' calm. "How did that happen, Monody?" sez he, pointin' to +the sub-cook. + +"I--I reckon one o' the boys mistook him in the dark," sez Monody. + +"I reckon you lie," sez Brophy. "The' ain't no white man would be +beast enough. It's one o' your own heathen tricks." + +I was surprised at the way Brophy talked. I'd allus heard 'at he was +a rip-snortin' screamer, an' here he was talkin' low an' level like, +as if he was conversin' about the weather; but when I looked into +Monody's face an' saw it gray an' quivery, I knew 'at Brophy wasn't +no bluffer, whether he yelled or whether he whispered. + +I moved about an inch 'cause my leg was strainin', an' three guns +dropped on me. "Don't try nothin'," sez Brophy. I didn't--I stood +mighty still. + +The man under the table give a gaspy squawk, Brophy dropped on one +knee to look at him, an' I could see him shudder as he looked at the +torn throat. "My God!" he muttered, an' then he started to git up, +his voice fairly snarlin' with rage. "Monody, you beast!" he yelled, +snap-pin' back the hammer of his gun, "I'll--" + +He never finished it. With a queer, guttural cry Monody took a step +forward with his left foot an' kicked him under the chin, lifted him +clear from the ground, an' rolled him over, a crumpled an' broken +thing, on top o' the sub-cook The man with the lantern began to fan- +shoot into Monody, an' I jumped for him an' hit him in the temple +with the butt, o' my gun. He went down with a crash an' the lantern +went out. + +"Monody!" I called. "Monody, are you hurt?" The' wasn't no answer; +the' wasn't a sound. I felt like the last man on earth. Then I +thought of the girl. I waited a moment to quiet my voice, an' then I +sez, "Are you all right, little Barbie?" Still the' wasn't no +answer, an' I fairly yelled to her. + +"Yes, I'm all right, Happy, but I want to get out. Are you all +right?" Her voice was steady, but it sounded a long ways off. + +"Yes, Honey Bird, I'm all right," I sez. + +"And is my Daddy all right?" she asked. + +My! but it was a world o' comfort to hear the child's voice again, +an' some way I felt unreasonable tickled to think 'at she had asked +about me first. "Your Daddy ain't here just now, Barbie," I sez. +"You'd better just stay where you are until we make sure 'at they're +all gone." + +"Well, all right," she said in the same muffled voice; "but I'd like +to get out." + +I hunted through my pockets for a match, but I couldn't find one, +an' what I wanted just then was light--Lord, how I did want a light! + +And then I heard a tramplin' an' a poundin' as the herd swept down +the ravine an' into the corral, an' next minute I heard George +Hendricks give the yell he allus give when a job was done, an' I +yelled back--yelled till my voice cracked; an' it was the biggest +relief I ever had. + + + + +CHAPTER FOUR + +PROFESSIONAL DUTY + + +I kept on yellin' until they got to the cook shack. "What the +bloomin' blue blasted blazes is the matter?" sez Spider Kelley. "An' +who the fiber fingered flub-dub are ya?" + +"Get a light, get a light an' see!" I yells, hatin' to move. + +"It's Happy Hawkins!" yells the whole bunch, an' the tone they used +was all-fired welcome. + +Purty soon they come in with a lantern, an' then they stopped askin' +questions. For a moment we all just looked at that floor, an' it was +sure a hideous sight. I put my finger on my lips an' pointed to the +corner back of the stove where I'd put the shack door in front o' +little Barbie, an' then I motioned for 'em to drag the bodies out. +Monody was alive an' he had a satisfied grin on his face when I +helped to carry him out in the air. Jabez never moved, an' the boys +lifted him mighty tender--he'd been a good man to work for, spite of +his queer ways. The two men in the doorway were still gaspin', but +the rest of Brophy's gang had passed on as they had a right to +expect, wearin' their boots an' their guns hot in their hands. +Brophy himself had his neck broken, but his face didn't look bad. It +was peaceful under the lantern light. + +As soon as they was all lined up on the side porch I took the shack +door down, but Barbie wasn't there. "Barbie!" I called. "Barbie, +child! where are you?" + +"Here I am, Happy," answered a muted voice. "I'm in the oven. Can't +I come out now?" I opened the door to the big oven an' there she +was, wrapped in a coat an' all rumpled up as if she'd been sleepin'. +"Who put you in there, child?" I asked. + +"A woman," she answered. "A woman with a soft, kind voice. She put +me in here an' she told me to go to sleep, an' I did sleep most o' +the time. When you'd all shoot together it would wake me up; but +then after a minute I'd doze off again, an' now it's gettin' +daylight an' I'm eight years old, an' I didn't get to see how it +felt comin' on. Where's my Daddy, an' are all the robbers gone?" + +"A woman!" sez I. + +"Yes, an' she had the kindest voice," sez Barbie. "Ain't she here +now? I want to talk to her. I've missed ol' Melisse something +fierce--but I never let on to Daddy. Where is Daddy, Happy?" + +"You ask more questions'n an almanac, Barbie," sez I, tryin' to +speak easy. "I'm goin' to carry you in an' put you to bed, an' you +can go on dreamin' about your beautiful lady, an' then in the +mornin' I'll tell you all about what's happened." + +My heart weighed about a ton in my breast as I carried the child +into the house with the gray dawn light drippin' over her an' the +still form of her father lyin' around on the side porch. I thought +o' the mother she hadn't never seen, an' I hoped that things was +fixed so 'at that mother could keep on comin' back now an' again to +put a dream into her lonely little heart like she'd already done +that night; but I carried her into her little white bedroom hummin' +a dance-tune, took off her shoes an' stockin's, covered her up warm, +an' told her she could sleep late, as we wasn't goin' to have an +early breakfast. The big lids closed down over her bright little +eyes, an' purty soon she was breathin' soft an' quiet, an' then I +left her. I stopped in the doorway an' looked back, an' my heart +ached when I thought of her havin' to wake up an' face it all. It +ain't just killin' a man that's so bad, it's the awful hole most of +'em makes in some innocent woman's heart. + +When I got back to the side porch my breath liked to 'a' stopped, +for there was Jabez sittin' up an' complainin' most bitter because +he had an achin' in the back of his neck. I stopped in my tracks +gappin' at him, an' purty soon he noticed me an' sez, "Well, what +are YOU starin' at? Remember 'at I ain't no chicken heart, an' +remember 'at what I hate worse'n anything else is a liar. Now where +is my child?" + +"She's in bed and asleep, an' if you're sure you 're alive you've +lifted a ton off my heart. I thought you was dead," sez I. + +"This whole pack of idiots thinks so yet," he yells, "an' they won't +let me get up. I got to see her, Happy, I got to touch her an' make +sure for myself that she's all right." + +"Where was you hit, Jabez?" I sez. + +"I was creased--I was creased the same as they crease a mustang" he +sez. "I was just touched in the back o' the neck an' it paralyzed +me. These blame pin-heads are crazy to strip me an' see if I ain't +shot all to pieces, but I won't stand for it." He tried to get up, +but his legs wouldn't work, an' he sank back again. + +"You just set an' rest a bit, Jabez," I sez. "I want to see how old +Monody is." + +The boys hadn't paid much attention to him, thinkin' him one o' +Brophy's gang, an' not carin' much whether or not he was +comfortable, 'cause he was the most bloodthirsty lookin' of the +whole bunch. "Are you hurt bad, Monody" I said. His face lit up with +a smile. "I don't hurt at all, Happy, but I reckon I 'm done for-- +the' ain't no feelin' in me from the waist down." + +I got three o' the boys to help me, an' we put him on the shack door +an' packed him into the house an' put him into one o' the spare +beds. He was shot three times in the left shoulder, an' it wasn't +till I noticed it that I recalled my own fix. Monody's shoulder was +all shattered to smash, but still, it wasn't no reason for him to +die, so I begun to kid him about it. He grinned an' said he didn't +intend to die on purpose, but he reckoned it was his turn, an' he +didn't intend to side step. He was most unreasonable an' wouldn't +let us bandage him nor nothin', said he had a salve 'at beat +anything a doctor had, an' we got it for him out of his coat which +was the one wrapped around Barbie. He examined my shoulder with his +right hand, an' his fingers worked around inside my bones clear and +true, but some way without hurtin' me much. "It ain't broke," sez +he, "just grooved a bit. You got bones like a grizzly." + +When his salve came he rubbed it on me an' then he rubbed it on +himself, an' then he told us to clear out so he could sleep. We all +left him after a little, an' I sent Spider Kelley after the doctor. +The' was only one member of Brophy's gang alive when I got back to +the side porch, an' he was sinkin' fast. He had told Jabez 'at then +intended to clean him out completely, an' that Jim, the sub-cook, +was one o' the gang an' had let the ridin' ponies loose so 'at the' +was no choice but to walk after the herd when they stampeded. He +said that if he hadn't 'a' had that chance he would 'a' put knock- +out drops in the coffee that night, which made all the men madder'n +ever. Knock-out drops ain't no fair way o' fightin'. + +Well, this feller had been with Brophy a long time, an' he gave us a +purty complete list of his doin's an' his ways. As a rule a man only +lasted about a year with the gang, an' when it was possible Brophy +tried to get boys to fill up the vacancies,--boys likin' the game +an' not carin' much for the consequences. He tried to tell us where +Brophy had a lot o' gold salted down in Nevada, but it was hard to +understand him, an' before he made it clear he tuckered out. + +We sent out word to the neighbors, an' that evening about forty of +'em rode over to the buryin', and they made a good bit of a fuss +over us, 'cause the gang had been worse'n a plague an' a famine. You +can judge o' their nerve when they made war on the Diamond Dot, we +havin' one o' the biggest outfits in the territory, an' all +patriotic toward the old man. Jabez give me more credit'n was due +me, but he sure tried to do the fair thing by of Monody too. Monody +had saved us all, an' that was the simple truth. It seemed odd to +think of how that kick I had in the jaw won me a friend in Monody, +an' then, when it was passed on, saved the Diamond Dot. I 'd like to +know what it did for the French sailor an' the feller what handed it +to him. Funny thing, life. + +We tried to get Monody to take his clothes off an' be comfortable; +the boys fairly pestered the life out of him tryin' to do somethin' +for him, but he was obstinate, said 'at his clothes was clean, an' +he didn't intend to take 'em off till they got dirty. They bothered +him so that finally he made me bring him one of his guns, an' he +swore he'd use it before they got his clothes off. "I want to be +buried in 'em, Happy," he said to me, most earnest. "If I die with +'em on you won't let 'em take 'em off, will ya?" He had a lot o' +fever, so I humored him; but I wished, myself, he wasn't so set in +his ways. His salve was the bulliest stuff I ever used on a bullet +hole, an' my arm begun to mend right from the start. His shoulder +was splintered purty bad, but still, it didn't seem as if it ought +to have bothered his legs none. The next day he was a little wobbly +in his head, an' it seemed to rest him to hold my hand. He didn't +want no one else in the room, so I just sat an' talked nonsense to +him, an' twice Barbie came in to see him. + +In spite of his ugly face the child wasn't a mite afraid of him, an' +she would smooth back his black, coarse hair; but she didn't talk to +him much--just looked into his eyes an' smiled. + +"I wish Melisse was here," she said to me once when Monody was +dozin', "she'd cook somethin' nice an' tasty, an' she's such a good +nurse." + +"Melisse?" sez Monody comein' to, "who's Melisse?" + +"She's my old nurse," sez Barbie. "I told her a story--just a little +one--an' she wouldn't whip me for it, so Daddy told her to clear out +until she was willin' to do her duty. He thinks she's gone for good, +but I know where she is." + +"Melisse, Melisse," muttered Monody. "Well, after all, it might be. +The' ain't nothin' too strange to happen." + +I see 'at he was a bit out of his head, so I didn't question him +none. "Where is she, Barbie?" I asked in a low tone. + +"I don't know just exactly where she is or I'd go bring her back, of +course," she sez; "but I know 'at she's somewhere hereabouts, 'cause +the day before my birthday--why, it was only day before yesterday, +wasn't it? It seems years ago. Well, day before yesterday I found a +big pan o' cakes in my playhouse, an' no one can't bake 'em but +Melisse." + +Monody didn't say anything more until after Barbie'd gone from the +room, and then he made me tell him all I knew of Jabez, which was +mighty little. He lay there a long time without speakin', an' then +he sez: "O' course the' may not be anything in it, but if ever you +an' this Jabez lock horns, you just ask him about the Creole Belle, +an' if he's the man I mean--an' he sure favors him--it'll most +likely unnerve him. Now I want to sleep." + +Spider Kelley an' the doctor got back about ten that night, an' ol' +Monody was in a ragin' fever an' some out of his head, but he kept +his gun handy an' wouldn't stand for any one startin' to undress +him. + +"The''s somethin' worse'n that shoulder," sez the doctor, "though +that's bad enough, goodness knows. He's hurt somewhere in the spine, +an' I'll have to examine him. Take that fool gun away from him." + +I put my hand on Monody's an' he loosened his hold on the gun an' +took hold of my hand, his face lightin' up contented. Then I handed +the gun to one o' the boys an' took tight hold of his right arm +while the doctor started to unbutton his shirt. Ol' Monody's eyes +opened with a jerk, an' the fever had left 'em. "Happy, Happy!" he +pleaded. "You know 'at I'd give my life for ya! You won't let 'em +bother me, will ya? I'm done for, I know it; an' the' ain't nothin' +to do. Happy, Happy, let me go in peace, won't ya? Let me die like a +man!" + +The' wa'n't no fever in his eyes, an' he was sure earnest about it. +I knew 'at if things was changed an' I was in his place he'd give me +my way, so I sez to the doctor, "Dock, ol' Monody here is a cure-all +himself; he give me the best salve ever I see for my own shoulder, +an' when he sez it's all up with him, he ain't bluffin'. I reckon +you'd better just let him alone." I hadn't never seen this doctor +before; he was a youngish buck with sharp features an' an obstinate +chin. "No," sez he, "it wouldn't be professional. I got to make an +examination. Now some o' you boys hold his feet an' some o' you hold +his good hands an'--" + +"Some o' you go to hell!" sez I. "If ol' Monody here wants to die +with his clothes on he's sure goin' to do it or else the' 's goin' +to be consid'able more funerals on this place than we've already +had. Now you git!" + +The Dock, he was the first to go, an' then the rest o' the boys +filed out. + +"You're square, Happy," sez Monody, after they'd gone. "You're +square, an' I knew it the first time I looked into your eyes. If I'd +fell in with square ones at the start it would 'a' been a heap +easier--a heap easier." + +Cast Steel hadn't hardly taken his eyes off Barbie since lie 'd got +up an' around again, but right after the Dock had left, in he +popped. "What's this I hear, Happy?" he sez, excited. + +"I don't know, Jabez," I replied. + +"Dock Wilson sez 'at you chased hire out o' the room with a gun an' +wouldn't let him examine this man." + +"Well," sez I, "as far as that goes, this man has a right to judge +for himself. He saved your life an' your outfit an' your daughter, +an' I don't reckon you're goin' to tie him into a knot so as a +doctor can go pokin' around in him when he don't want it." + +"You're as obstinate as ever!" shouts Jabez. "He 's probably out of +his head." + +"No, he ain't out of his head," sez Monody, in a low, soft voice, +but without openin' his eyes more'n a crack. + +"He ain't out of his head an' he ain't forgot nothin' he ever knew, +an' it'll be better all around if he's allowed to go in peace." + +Jabez looked at him in surprise, and Monody scowled up his face till +he looked like a wounded Silver Tip, but the' came a queer hunted +look into Jabez' eyes for a moment, an' then he muttered, "Well, +this is a free country an' I reckon lie has the right to decide. He +has sure saved us, an' if the' 's anything on earth I can give him, +all lie has to do is to ask for it, an' I hope he pulls through in +his own way." + +Jabez fidgeted around a minute or two longer an' then he oozed out +o' the room. When he'd gone of Monody chuckled a wicked, contented +chuckle, an' after a bit lie sez, + +"It's him all right, it's him, but he never did me any harm, an' I +wouldn't worry the child, not for worlds. She ought to have a woman +around her though. You get old Melisse back, Happy, an' remember--if +it ever comes to a question of you or him--just call him George +Jordan an' say 'at Jack Whitman wasn't killed "--Monody chuckled +again, an' then sobered--"but don't spring it except as a last +resort, 'cause the little girl couldn't help nothin' about the +Creole Belle, an' she ain't no call to be worried by it. Jim +Jimison, he's white, Happy, but he 'd 'a' been killed that trip if +you hadn't taken bolt when you did. He's learned the game purty well +now, though, an' I reckon he'll make good." + +Poor old Monody kept on talkin' disconnected until about midnight, +first tellin' some devilish deed he'd seen or took part in, an' then +tellin' o' some joke or some act o' kindness. Just at midnight he +took my hand, an' the' came a look into his eyes like as if he was +about overcome by some beautiful vision; but in a moment he cohered +down an' he gripped my hand till it hurt. "Happy," he gasped, "I +allus loved ya, Happy. You won't let--you won't let 'em--" an' it +was all over with ol' Monody. + +I sat by the bed a long time thinkin' it over, an' then I went out +into the settin' room. Jabez an' a couple o' the boys was there an' +I told 'em it was over. I went out into the night to have a look at +the stars. Whenever somethin' has happened in my little wobbly life +down here I like to get out an' see the same old stars in their same +old places, calm an' steady an' true. That was one thing which allus +drew me to the child Barbie,--she was a star-worshiper too, same as +me. + +When I got back I see the little doctor explainin' somethin' to +Jabez. I thought he had gone long ago, but the hooked-nosed buzzard +couldn't leave without satisfyin' his curiosity. "What do you reckon +was the reason your friend wouldn't let himself be examined?" sez +he, with a leer. + +"It wasn't nowise my business," sez I," so I didn't think about it +at all." + +"Well, it was because he wasn't a man at all--he was a woman." + +For a moment I stood an' looked at him, while a lot o' things became +clear as day to me. A woman--ol' Monody was a woman! When I thought +of what a girl is, an' what it must have took to make one want to +really be a man, I felt plumb ashamed o' my sex; but here was +another creature in man's clothes standin' an' grinnin' into my face +as though he had done somethin' smart. + +"How do you know?" I sez soft an' steady. + +"I went in an' examined--it was my professional duty. She had been +shot in the abdomen and the bullet had lodged in the spine. She had +stuffed a rag into the hole an' all the bleedin' was internal. I +found that--" + +"Who was with you?" I asked him. + +"Nobody," he said with pride; "I went in alone an' I found--" + +"I'm obliged to ya, Boys," sez I, "an' I'll be obliged to you still +more if you'll just stand to one side an' watch me make an +examination. I only got one arm, so it's perfectly fair. It seems to +be the fashion now days to examine human beings who wear men's +clothes--but who ain't men--so I feel it my PROFESSIONAL DUTY to +examine this here speciment before us." + +The grin kind o' left his face when I started for him. He wasn't +near my size, but me only havin' one workin' arm made it fair. He +looked to the boys to help him, but they was unusual placid. I +reached out an' grabbed him by the collar an' put my knee in his +stomach as a brace; he struck me in the face an' in my wounded +shoulder, but in about one minute I had his clothes off him, an' +there he stood the shamedest thing I ever see. "Now you get out o' +here an' ride home," sez I, "an' I believe if I was you I'd pick +myself out a new home--one 'at would take about six weeks to ride +to. You won't be popular around here from this on." + +"Can't I put my clothes on," he sez. + +"Not these," sez I. "If you have any more where you've been livin' +you can put them on; but I hope in my heart the sun peels your back +before you arrive, an' I hope when you do arrive the' 'll be enough +women awake to give you a raw-hidin' for bein' indecent. Now git." + +He looked into the boys' faces again, but they wasn't friendly--they +wasn't even smilin', an' then he went outside, got his pony, an' +rode away. He rode clear out o' the West I reckon, 'cause while I +heard of the story purty much everywhere I went after that, I ain't +never heard o' the buzzard himself since that day long, long ago. + +It was dawn by the time he'd rode out o' sight with his white skin +shinin' on his hunched up form, an' then I went in to set with ol' +Monody a while. + + + + +CHAPTER FIVE + +JUST MONODY--A MAN + + +He looked mighty peaceful, did ol' Monody. Curious thing about +death, is the way it seems to beautify a person. In life Monody was +the homeliest human I ever see, an' yet the' was something so +kindly, an' gentle, an'--an' satisfied in his face there under the +lamplight, that I reached out an' patted his hand, almost envious-- +even though my fool eyes was a-winkin' mighty fast. + +We all of us would give the first ten years of our life to know what +it's like out yonder; when he was here, ol' Monody would 'a' done +anything he could for me,--well, he lay down his life an' I reckon +that's about skinnin' the deck,--but here I was achin' to know how +it was with him, an' there he was with all his guesses answered, an' +him not able to pass back a single tip to me. + +It wasn't him that I was lookin' down at, it was just the shell of +him, scarred and battered and bruised, but all his life--or at least +most of it--he had twisted up his face to make it as ugly as +possible, so 'at no one wouldn't take him for a woman. Now it could +relax an' give a sort of a hint as to what it might have been if +he'd had a chance to live. Oh, it's sure a crime the way we torture +some o' the white souls 'at drift to this Sorrowful Star, as I once +heard a feller call it. + +Injun, Nigger, an' Greaser--why, such a combination as that ain't +entitled to trial in a civilized nation--it's guilty on sight. Any +one would know 'at such a bein' would be cruel an' treacherous an' +thievin' an' everything else 'at was bad--but yet the' come a good +streak into Monody some way or other. All in the world I had ever +done for him was to beat him over the head when he acted like a +beast, an' then to treat hint like a human when he acted like one. +The' wasn't nothin' especially kind nor thoughtful in it, just +simple justice as you might say, an' yet in spite of his treacherous +mixture he wasn't askin' no favors; all he wanted was a square deal, +an' when he got it he was square clear to the finish. It's a funny +thing, life. + +In spite of all he'd done to kill it the' was a mother streak in him +which made him fair hungry for somethin' to pet an' fondle. He was +allus good to any kind of an animal, an' though I didn't notice it +at the time, he was allus motherin' me; an' look at the way he had +soothed little Barbie with a touch that night in the cook shack! O' +course I ain't questioning the judgment o' the Almighty, but for the +life o' me the I can't see why it was necessary to make a woman as +big an' as tall as ol' Monody was, an' yet perhaps if I just knew +the story from the beginnin', I 'd see it was a mercy, after all. + +Anyhow, it made it easy enough for him to work out his scheme. + +The' ain't no rules for women anyhow, 'cause their hearts won't +never surrender to their heads; when they do, they ain't all woman. +Well, yes, there is one rule 'at 's safe for a man to foller In +dealin with woman, an' that is that when a woman's in love, she 's +in love all over. Sometimes a man's in love up to his pocket-book, +sometimes up to his appetite, an' sometimes up to his heart, but +he's mighty seldom in love all over. If nothin' else stays dry he's +generally able to take care of his head, but with a woman everything +goes; so I'm purty tol'able sure that away back at the beginnin' it +was love 'at drove ol' Monody out of her own sex down into ours. + +When the news spread abroad 'at the man who had killed Bill Brophy +without a weapon had cashed in, the neighbors gathered from ninety +miles around, and we sure gave Monody the rip-snortin'est funeral +ever seen in those parts. We didn't say nothin' about him not really +bein' a man, an' though I reckon 'at every feller there knew of it, +the' wasn't a single one of 'em spoke of it--so we didn't have no +trouble at all. + +He lies on a little knoll about a mile to the north of the ranch +house. Up back of him ol' Mount Savage stands guard an' fights off +the roughest of the storms; while the soft winds from the south +steal gently up a little cut in the rocks an' seem to circle about +him, whisperin' secrets of countries far away. If the' 's a single +bird in Wyoming, you can find it hoppin' about his narrow bed or +singin' in the oak tree 'at stands above him, spreadin' out its +branches like a priest givin' the blessin'. Winter or summer, +Monody's grave is the quietest, peacefullest, purtiest spot 'at lies +outdoors, as if the old Earth had repented of the way it had treated +him, and was tryin' to make it up to him now. + +Take it in winter when the' 's a clean sheet o' soft, white snow +over everything, an' I like to go out an' stand on another little +knoll about a half mile this side. The last speck of light in the +valley comes through a narrow cleft an' falls on Monody's grave. As +the sun sinks lower an' lower the crimson glory on the soft fleecy +snow seems to come up out of the grave an' climb the black shadow of +the mountain, like--but pshaw, I reckon it'd be a mighty tame sight +to ol' Monody himself. + +I never speak of him, an' I never think of him, as anything but a +man. He lived like a man, God knows he died like a man; and on the +little stone at his head the' ain't nothin' carved except just-- +Monody, a Man. + + + + +CHAPTER SIX + +THE RACE + + +It was mighty pleasant back at the Diamond Dot after things got +settled again. Barbie had become a curious little trick with a way +of doin' strange things in a sober old-fashioned manner like as if +she was a hundred years of age, but was tryin' to hide it. + +She was more like Jabez too, which give me a heap of amusement, +seein' which one was goin' to win when they straddled a question. +Barbie wasn't sassy, not at all; she just didn't seem able to savvy +that a few small matters, like age an' parentage an' ownin' the +ranch, gave Jabez a sort of a majority vote, as you might say, on +all questions. No, Barbie couldn't seem to get callous to this, an' +she fought out all differences of opinion from the mere facts o' the +case, an' I got to do Jabez the justice of admittin' that he never +retreated behind his authority until after he'd been well licked in +the open; an' unless it was a mighty important question he took his +lickin' like a man. Barbie was game about it too, an' when she got +the worst of a fair fight she never put up a howl; but when she had +won in the open it used to grind her something fierce to be told +point blank that she had to do such an' so, "'Cause she was a girl." + +"If tobacco stunts your growth, how's it come 'at old Tank Williams +an' George Hendricks an' Happy an' a lot more o' the boys is all +over six feet tall," she sez one day durin' a try-out, "while Flap +Jack is the smallest man on the place an' he don't never use it at +all--'cept when he cuts his finger." + +"Things don't allus work alike," sez Jabez, slow an' cautious. "The +tall ones would all 'av' been taller if they hadn't used it, an' +Flappy, he wouldn't 'a' been able to see out of his boots if he +had." + +"Well, I don't see as it makes much difference, anyhow," sez she. "I +don't want to be so everlastin' tall, so I reckon I'll just smoke +four a day an' that'll--" + +"I reckon you won't smoke any a day," sez Jabez, gettin' riled. +"Smokin' cigarettes is a nasty, filthy habit, an'--" + +"Then I'll smoke a pipe," sez Barbie. + +"No you won't smoke a pipe! I don't intend to have a gal child of +mine smokin' anything. It's disgustin', an--" + +"It ain't as disgustin' as chewin', an' you chew," sez Barbie. + +"Now you look here!" yells Jabez, hot as a hornet, "I'm a man an' +you ain't, an' that makes a heap o' difference. I had to give up +cussin' on your account, but I don't intend to go to wearin' dresses +complete, just to keep you halfway respectable." + +"Yes, an' I got three cusses comin' to me too," sez Barbie. "I heard +you over at the hay-barn yesterday." + +"That don't count--the agreement was, 'about the house'; an' +besides, you didn't have no call to be there." + +"Yes I did. I couldn't light my cigarette out in the wind so I got +behind the barn. You are the one 'at didn't have no call to cuss. +The' wasn't anything wrong at the hay-barn an' you was all alone. I +just know 'at you went there to cuss 'cause I made you own up at +breakfast that it wasn't no worse for me to fling the oatmeal out +the window when it didn't suit me than it was for you to fling the +coffee." + +The old man just stood an' stared at her so I knew 'at the little +witch had rooted out his devisement. "When you are older, Barbara," +ol' Cast Steel sez in his coldest tone, "you will understand these +things an' be glad of the care I took of you; but now I am compelled +to lay down a law. You are never to smoke again until you're of +legal age." + +"What's legal age?" sez she. + +"Twenty-one years," sez Jabez. + +"That'll be thirteen years," sez Barbie. "All right; but I'm goin' +to roll three cigarettes a day for thirteen years an' the very day +I'm twenty-one I'm goin' to smoke 'em all." + +"You go to your room an' stay there," sez Jabez, white-hot. + +"I will," she answers as cool as an icicle, "an' I'm goin' to figure +up how many it will be, so I'll have some sort of fun to look +forward to--when I get of legal age." + +After she'd gone Jabez set down on a stone an' wiped his forehead. +"She ain't a child, Happy. She ain't nothin' like a child," sez +Jabez to me. "Here she is only eight year old an' she's got me out +beyond my depth already. I don't know what I ought to do with her. +She went to the spring round-up this year an' slept in a Navajo +right outdoors. She wants to go bear huntin' or anything else 'at's +wild an' dis-accordin' to her nature. What on earth am I goin' to do +with her?" + +"You ought to have children to play with her. She wants to play all +right, she tries to play; but the only kind of play she knows is +grown-up play. Get some children an' dolls an' pet kittens an' such +things for her; that'll give her a chance," sez I. + +"I tried it," sez Jabez. "I tried it last summer, but she about +killed 'em. The only children I could get was two little Injuns, but +she about ruined 'em. The only game she would play was war, an' when +they wouldn't stand for her way o' playin' it she got on her pinto-- +the one you broke for her--an' roped 'em both an' like to dragged +the hide off 'em. I don't know what to do." + +"You ought to send her to school," sez I. "They'll be white children +there an' they won't be slow an' gentle like the little Injuns; +they'll be just as full o' devil as what she is, an' she'll get the +sharp corners wore off her." + +"Hang it I tried that too. I sent her when she was six year old--I'd +been lookin' forward to it a good long time too, but it didn't do no +good. + +"She put in the first day all right, but things went too slow for +her after that, an' she brought home her books an' made me pester +over 'em with her, an' she went into it like a game, an' now she's +gone through about four years' work in two. It's a blame shame, +'cause the school is only ten miles away an' she could go as well as +not, but she's so terrible impatient. She reads all kinds o' books +already, an' sez she's goin' to read 'em all before she quits. She +ain't a bit like a child an' I don't think it's natural. I wish +she'd pester me for dolls an' pink dresses an' things like that +instead of wantin' all kinds of firearms, an' playin' poker with the +boys." + +Ol' Cast Steel was all worked up over it, an' I thought a long time +before I answered him, then I sez, "Jabez, you're hard enough on the +child an' you're strict enough with her, but you ain't strict enough +with yourself. When it comes to a show down,--when you actually say +yes and now,--why, she gives in; but when you argue with her she's +just as sharp as you are, an' the' 's a heap o' things all children +has to do 'at I reckon the' ain't no real sense in, so when you try +to dig up a reason for 'em you give 'em the whip hand. Just like +religion: lots of it is better just stated an' not mussed up tryin' +to be explained. When a parson tries to tell me why God created this +universe, it don't sound reasonable; but when I go out an' look at +the stars an' the mountains an' the big sweep o' the plains an' then +try to round up all that astronomer feller said about things, why, I +just know 'at nobody but God could 'a' done it--an' I reckon it's +that way with a child. She trusts you until you get down to her +level an' then she sees that the' ain't much difference between you, +an' she naturally expects you to play the same game by the same +rules. You send her to school an' tell her it's for her own good, +an' let her'n the teacher fight it out. That's a teacher's business +an' they know how." + +Well, they was a heap o' sense in what I said, an' I'd been thinkin' +over it a long spell; so when school opened up again in the fall +Barbie had her orders an' the' wasn't much in the way of trouble. + +I didn't have any regular duties at the Diamond Dot--the worst +trouble about the Diamond Dot was that nobody had any regular +duties. Jabez was notionable to a degree, an' we all just floated +along, doin' what we did do right, but not havin' much of a plan for +it. I could have handled the place with ten less men an' got through +on a tighter schedule, but it was a fine place to work at an' we all +got what was comin' to us. Through the winter I used to ride over +with Barbie when the days was anyways rough, an' it took her a long +time to find out that Starlight really could beat her pinto. I +reckon that child was the best rider 'at ever backed a pony. As you +might say she grew up with a pony between her knees, an' the way she +could play a bit in a hoss's mouth was the finest sight I ever see. +I ain't much of a fool when it comes to pickin' out a ridin' +critter, an' the pinto was able--most uncommon able. + +One Saturday morning she told me that she was tired o' seein' +Starlight beat Hawkins on ten-mile dashes, an' she was goin' to have +a real race that day. She allus called the pinto "Hawkins" after I +got back; she had said it wouldn't be polite to call us both "Happy" +an' as long as I had owned both names the longest, she was willin' +to give me my choice--an' then she said 'at that wouldn't be quite +fair to the pinto--she was mighty rigid on bein' square--so she said +'at we'd have to draw for 'em. She wrote "Happy" on one piece of +paper an' "Hawkins" on the other, put her hat in the pony's mouth,-- +she had taught him a lot o' tricks,--an' I had to turn my back while +she dropped in the names. My luck was good, so I drawed "Happy," an' +the pony was called "Hawkins." I was feared I might have to go back +to John, an' John's a sort of a heavy baggage for a careless cuss to +he luggin' around. + +It was spring, an' the range was smooth an' tough. All through the +snow Starlight's long legs had given him a big advantage, but now +her weight made it a purty good bet either way. "Let 'em go +grassin', Barbie," sez I. "This fine young grass--" + +"I knew you were afraid to make a fair test of it," she sez +scornful. + +"I ain't neither afraid," I sez, "but what's the use of a race just +to satisfy our curiosity?" + +"What's the use of curiosity except to satisfy it?" sez Barbie, an' +she had me sure enough. A feller was a fool to argue with that +little witch. She allus had a come-back, an' the only way to get +ahead of her was either to boss or beg. I hadn't no authority to +boss, an' I was too blame young to beg, so she just about had me +roped an' tied. "How far are you goin' to race?" sez I. + +"A hundred miles," sez she. + +"Pshaw," sez I, "the country's wider'n that. Why don't you give'em a +decent work out." + +"That'll be enough for this time," sez she, "an' if you hustle you +can have'em ready by five o'clock." + +"Does the boss know?" sez I. + +"He will sometime," sez she. "Now hustle." + +It was a glorious day, an' I own up I was amused at the prospect. +Both hosses was hard as flint an' nervy. If I'd 'a' stayed at the +ranch I'd have collected up brandin' irons an' other truck for the +round-up, an' a hundred miles through spring sweetness was a heap +sight more temptin' to me; so I give in an' soon we was under way. +"Where is the course laid out, Barbie?" I sez. "You know I won't see +much of you back there in the ruck an' I want to know the path." + +"All you need to do is to foller Hawkins's trail," sez she, "but in +case you can't find it just circle Mount Savage an' that'll be the +distance, so the boys say." + +We started out at a comfortable gait, an' I watched her pretty +close. Once I tried her out by sendin' Starlight along for a mile, +but she just kept the pinto pluggin' away, an' I sensed I was up +against some head ridin'. Oh, it was gratifyin' to watch the little +rascal ridin' with her brain, like I'd taught her. She didn't throw +the reins down on her pony's neck, an' she didn't pull in on the +bit; she just played it in his mouth to keep remindin' him that this +was his busy day, an' that he'd better tend to his knittin'. Old +Starlight knew every move I made, an' he was resigned to a good long +pump of it. + +I nonsensed a while, tryin' to get her to laugh an' cut up, but not +her. "Now don't talk unless you have somethin' to say, Happy," sez +she. "I don't want Hawkins to imagine 'at we're out ridin' for an +appetite. I want him to believe 'at we're on mighty important +business." + +"Oh, he'll sure enough think it," sez I, "when we swing around Mount +Savage an' he gets to see home through Starlight's dust." + +"When it comes to that, I'll bet he won't be complainin' o' the +dullness of the business he's been on. Now just practice thinkin' a +while." + +We watered about noon at a little snow stream on the opposite side +of old Savage; but we et our vittles on hoss back an' we didn't +waste any time on the waterin'. I figured we'd scaled up about fifty +miles, an' the pinto was still tonguin' his bit an' waitin' for +somethin' interestin' to turn up. Starlight was gettin' some +disgusted with the monotony. + +We rode on for another hour an' then Barbie began to ride a little. +The pinto let out a couple of links as cheerful as a rainbow, an' I +rode at his cinch. I knew I could beat her in the brush, an' she was +easin' the pinto too much to make it a question of grit unless she +began to herd him mighty shortly. Well she did begin ridin' purty +soon, an' brother Hawkins responded like an echo. He was a hog for +distance, was that pinto. He was short on top with plenty of depth +to him, and his belly cut up quick, showin' he had lots o' room for +his heart an' his lungs an' his forage. Starlight's nostrils worked +a shade more than his did, but we were gettin' purty close to the +pinto's speed, an' Starlight had a load of it left, and he'd pay out +the last ounce of it when I said the word. I knew I could beat her +this time, but I was feared she might call for a repeat the next +day--an' I intended to remind Jabez it was the Sabbath. + +Starlight was pretty wet with sweat, while the pinto was bone dry +when we struck Trouble Creek which was boilin' full. In we went, an' +the water hissed and sucked around our waists; but we crossed at +about the same time, an' then it was only ten miles to the ranch +house an' Barbie shook her quirt. Away shot the pinto, but Starlight +had his fussy streak warm by this time, an' I let him edge ahead as +fast as he wanted to. He knew the distance now, an' he knew I wanted +to cover it in the least possible time, an' he knew just how much +the' was left in him, so I drew a tight rein, eased it off again, +an' we dropped a gap between us an' the shorter legs of Barbie's +mount. We only gained an inch at a time an' I wasn't sure I'd be the +one to do the braggin' even yet, when all of a sudden we swept +around a point of rock an' there was Melisse hot-footin' it to the +ranch house. She heard us the minute we saw her, an' when we drew up +to her she gasped: "Pluto has about killed ol' Cast Steel, an' +Spider Kelley has gone for the doctor." + +Barbie caught the words, but she never made a reply or asked a +single question; she just laid the quirt without a sting over +Hawkins's foreshoulder an' raced on. I stopped long enough to tell +Melisse that I would send the buckboard after her, an' then I took +after Barbie. It looked like a race, sure enough. I was worried. +Pluto was a high grade stallion Jabez had got after I lined up +Starlight alongside the range ponies, an' he had the meanest temper +I ever see put into a hoss. I had been tendin' him 'cause I'd got +wise to the ways o' these thin-skinned fellers down at the Lion +Head, but I never quite trusted him, an' I feared 'at maybe Barbie's +goin' off without notice had riled the old man an' he had tried to +take it out on Pluto. + +We only had five miles to go, an' we sure went it. I beat her to the +ranch house, but Starlight hadn't got his breath back when she rode +in, an' the pinto only took one long breath an' shook his head. I +turned the hosses over to one o' the boys 'at were hangin' around +the door lookin' troubled, an' hustled inside. Jabez lay on the +lounge with a face like soured vinegar. He had a bandage round his +head an' another around his arm, while his leg was propped up on +pillows. + +"What's the damage, Jabez?" I asked. + +"Where's Barbie?" he demanded, not payin' any heed to my question. +She had flung herself from the pinto an' came running into the room. +"Oh, Daddy," she said, throwin' her arms around him. + +"Where have you been?" sez he. + +"I been racin' with Happy," she said. "Are you bad hurt, Daddy?" + +"Who beat?" sez he. + +"Happy did, about a hundred yards." + +"It wasn't more'n fifty," sez I. + +"How far did you race?" asked Jabez, grittin' his teeth. + +"A hundred miles," sez Barbie. + +"A hundred miles?" sez Jabez, grinnin' painful. "A hundred miles, +an' the black hoss beat your pinto carryin' a hundred'n fifty pounds +more weight. Hendricks--tell those blame fools not to kill Pluto. +Happy, you go an' see that they don't even hurt him. It was my +fault. Now, Barbie, tell me about the race." + +I went out to the big open stall where Pluto was kept all by +himself, but first I sent one o' the boys with the buckboard after +Melisse. I found Pluto in the middle of his stall with three ropes +around his neck an' the boys snubbin' him to posts. They wasn't +minded to let him go, even on Hendricks's say-so, but I went into +the stall an' told 'em to ease off. "He's whipped one man in a fair +fight," sez I, "an' if another man don't whip him in a fair fight +the' won't be any handlin' of him from this on. Ease off these +ropes." + +Well, I whipped that hoss in a fair fight, an' then I went in to see +how Jabez was gettin' along. I said a fair fight an' I meant a fair +fight. Yes, the' is a way to fight a hoss fair--that is, as fair as +any fight is. If you look at it one way, the' can't never be a fair +fight, 'cause one is bound to have an advantage--skill, luck, +experience, or courage; but what I mean is, that I fought that hoss +with nothing but just my own hands an' I whipped him. + +Why the way I did it was this: as soon as they slacked off the ropes +I slipped up beside him an' jerked 'em over his head, an' we two +stood alone in the big box stall with size in his favor an' brains +in mine. I had some consid'able size in those days, an' he was +almost too brainy for a hoss; but I own up 'at I 'd had the most +experience. + +First I stood off an' insulted him: I cussed him an' I called him +all manner of names an' then I laughed at him--you think a hoss, a +hoss like Pluto, can't be insulted? Why, pshaw! they're as high +feelin' as children. He was out o' humor to begin with, an' purty +soon his ears went back an' his eyes got red. I've heard tell about +an animal not bein' able to look a man in the eyes, an' I never saw +the wild animal 'at could; but I've seen three man-eatin' stallions +in my time 'at could look clear to your liver, an' a bulldog can do +it too. + +First off he tried to bite, but I got him a shoulder-blow right on +the nose. It made him wink, an' he reared an' struck at me with his +front hoofs. I ducked to the left an' the minute his hoofs came down +I slipped thumb an' forefinger into his nostrils, an' tried to jerk +his head around to the right; but I'd thrown him once before that +way an' he was too quick. He threw up his head before I could grip +his mane with my left, an' a reachin' kick with his right hind foot +tore my vest away. + +He floundered me around consid'able for a spell, but at last in +tryin' to jam me against the wall I got hold of his mane. I braced +my feet against the wall an' liftin' myself, I got his ear in my +mouth an' I bit it. It was a trick I'd learned from ol' Monody, an' +I sure bit hard an' close to the head. For mighty nigh a minute he +stood it fightin', an' then he give a groan. He hadn't had a sniff +of air through his nose since I'd grabbed it, an' he wasn't no +bulldog, he was a satin-skinned thoroughbred, an' he couldn't stand +the anguish in his ear. + +He groaned an' then he shivered an' then of a sudden I let go his +ear, jerked his head around to the right, pulled up his left front +foot with my left hand an' heaved with my shoulder. Down he went an' +as he fell I leaped across him, an' put my weight on his head. Then +I took my fingers out of his nose an' patted him. + +I hate to whip a hoss, I hate to break the pride of any livin' +creature; but when I start in to do it I don't just pester him. I +wait until I have good reason an' then I convince him--whether he's +able to live through it or not. I stroked old Pluto's ears an' nose, +all the time murmurin' to him, an' durin' the murmurin' I told the +boys to file out. I never shame nobody in front of anybody if the' +'s any other way round. + +Well, Pluto was drippin' with sweat an' havin' his bit ear rubbed +was mighty soothin' to him. We all like a lot of babyin' after we've +been hurt, whether we own up to it or not, an' Pluto wasn't any +exception to the rule. After a while I explained everything to him +an' told him that if he'd just act like a human bein', he'd be +treated like a king; but if he wanted to carry on like some savage +varmint we'd have to remove his hide an inch at a time; an' when I +finally let him up he was mortal shamed of himself. + +It was plumb dark by the time I let him up, an' I watered him an' +fed him an' rubbed him until he began to eat, an' that was the last +bother any man ever had with Pluto; but I was the only one he'd mind +without bein' chainbitted. He counted me his best friend, an' after +a while he got so he'd play with me--nip my ear with his lips an' +such things, which I count as bein' a game way of takin' punishment. +Still, it ain't just gettin' beat, it's havin' it rubbed in that +makes a feller bitter. + +I walked around to where Starlight an' Hawkins was enjoyin' their +evenin' meal, an' I was mortal proud of the condition they was in. I +reckon the' wasn't another pair in the territory 'at could 'a' +covered their ante that day, an' it was a feather in Uncle Happy's +cap all right. + +But all the time I was thinkin' o' these things I was dreadin' +havin' it out with Jabez. He was contrairy enough at the best; but +all bunged up, I could see my self-control gettin' strained twice a +minute. I knew enough about us both to know 'at whenever it came to +a show down, it meant a breakin' of home ties, an' I hated to cut +loose from Barbie. After a while, I washed up, fed up, an' went in +to have it over with. + + + + +CHAPTER SEVEN + +MENTAL TREATMENT FOR A BROKEN LEG + + +Barbie an' three of the boys were in the room when I went in. Barbie +was tellin' the old man of our ride, an' the three punchers sat with +the rims of their lids between thumb an' finger, lookin' at the +floor as solemn as if they was on trial for their life. Barbie had +just finished about our meetin' up with Melisse when I stepped in. + +"Who's boss o' this place?" sez Jabez to me. + +"If the' is any boss," sez I, "I reckon you're it." + +"Who told you you could be gone all day?" sez he. + +"Nobody told me. Nobody told me what was to be done if I stayed. +Nobody hasn't told me what to do on a ranch for some several years. +Why?" + +"Looks to me as if you 'd have sense enough not to risk this child's +life with your fool nonsense," sez he. I looked at him calm an' +steady, an' I didn't grin--much. + +He knew all 'at I was thinkin' of,--about my leavin' the last time +an' also about my comin' back,--but he also knew 'at I knew he was +thinkin' of the same thing, an' that we'd neither of us mention it, +an' that it wouldn't ever weigh an ounce in whatever happened to +come between us. I didn't say anything. + +"What makes you humor her in everything for?" sez he. + +"As far as I know, she ain't my child," sez I. + +He give a start an' it made him groan. "What's the matter with your +leg?" sez I. "It's broke!" he yells. "Do you think I got it stuck up +on pillers 'cause my foot's asleep?" + +"Is it easy that way?" sez I. + +"No it ain't," he snaps. + +"Perhaps if you'd get it fixed easy you might be able to talk easy," +I sez. "Do you want me to fix it easy?" + +"For heaven's sake, yes, if you know how," he sez; so I examined it. +It was a nasty break. It seems 'at Jabez had hunted over the place +to find something to fuss about as soon as he discovered 'at Barbie +an' me had flown the coop. Luck was in his favor when Slinky Bill +left Pluto's door open an' he got out. It took 'em some time to get +him back, an' they finally roped him. None o' the boys seemed +anxious to go into his stall an' take the rope off unless he'd let +them ride him a while to get the ginger out of him. Jabez took a +short club an' went in an' took off the rope, an' if the boys hadn't +been handy he'd 'a' been took off himself. As it was the hoss had +smashed his leg something fierce. + +"Get a board," sez I. The three boys left in a body to get the +board. I lined up the bones as well as I could, 'cause the leg was +some swelled. Then I bandaged it purty tight, next took an old boot- +leg an' bandaged that in, an' finally split a joint of stovepipe an' +packed cotton to fit the leg, tyin' the whole business to the board +when it arrived, an' proppin' the board up on pillers with one at +each side of the foot. Then I wet the bandage on his head an' arm, +puttin' in plenty of turpentine on the arm to prevent poisonin'. The +turpentine made him twist an' grunt, but when it stopped burnin' his +face cleared up. + +"My leg's a heap easier," he sez. I only nodded. I knew he had a lot +more steam on his mind. Presently he said, "But we might as well +settle things now as any time. Who are you workin' for?" + +"I settled that a long time ago," sez I. "I'm workin' for myself." + +"Then what the deuce do you mean takin' my wages?" sez he. + +"I ain't takin' your wages, I'm takin' my own," sez I; "but if I was +you I'd keep calm. You'll raise your fever." + +"It's my fever!" he yells, an' even the three punchers had to grin. + +"Look here, Jabez," sez I, "the' ain't any sense in your gettin' +riled. You ain't dangerous when you rant around, an' I know it; but +you're most uncommon irritatin'. We didn't run any risk in our ride +to-day, an' it proved 'at my way o' feedin' is the right way. You +don't own a pair o' hosses 'at can go out to-morrow an' keep in +sight o' Starlight an' the pinto. An' my way o' handlin' Pluto is +the right way too, but if you don't like my way o' workin' for +myself on your ranch--why, the' 's plenty of other ranches. The' +ain't no use o' your makin' us both miserable, quarrellin' like a +pair o' children." + +"That's what I say," sez Barbie. + +"You wait till you're spoke to," sez Jabez; but at that moment the +buckboard came in with old Melisse, an' the very first thing she did +was to chase the three punchers out o' the house, fix up a mess of +her own to put on Jabez's head an' arm, an' then she picks up Barbie +in her arms an' I saw the little chap's lip begin to quiver; I saw +Jabez wink his eyes too fast for comfort; I saw the tears rollin' +down the cheeks of old Melisse, an' I went out into the starlight to +look up toward Mount Savage where Monody was sleepin'. It's a funny +thing, life. After a while I went back inside an' they were purty +cozy again. "You been away purt nigh a year," sez Jabez, "where you +been?" + +Melisse grinned; she was a Mexican an' had been good lookin' a +century or so before. She was the silent sort, but she could do a +heap sight keener thinkin' 'an lots of 'em 'at kicks up more dust at +it. + +"Part o' the time I been right here at the ranch," she sez," but +when the snow was heavy I stayed in a little cave right up the +ravine from the pony corral. You don't reckon 'at I'd leave this +child just on your account, do ya?" + +It was some comical to see Jabez's face. "Lord, no!" sez he. "I'm in +the habit o' payin' wages to people 'at work for themselves, an' I +don't reckon I got the authority to make anybody get off my ranch. +If you've been foolin' around here, how come the dogs never barked +at ya?" + +"Dogs ain't apt to forget the hand that feeds 'em. After a dog has +thought well of ya for a while, he don't turn on ya just because +you've become out o' favor for a spell; the friendship of a dog +works both ways--dogs ain't like human beings, Jabez Judson." + +Melisse had a low, musical voice; but I kind o' felt my hair raisin' +in pity for the man on the sofey. It seemed like she had stuck a +knife into him, an' was twistin' it around slow without losin' her +temper. He squirmed, he bit his lip, his thumbs kept runnin' over +the inside of his fingers. It was some time before he spoke, an' +then he said, "How much longer you goin' to keep that child awake?" + +"She's been asleep in my arms for some time," sez Melisse, lookin' +down at Barbie's face, which was nestled up close to hers. "I reckon +I'll put her to bed now." She got up an' carried Barbie to the door +an' then she turned an' sez in a low tone: "You're mighty proud o' +being called Cast Steel, you love to trample over people; but I want +to tell you somethin' to remember; I sha'n't never be separated from +this child again except by her own will. Next time I can't live +around you I'll take her with me. You've known me a long time"--an' +she shut the door without slammin' it. + +"Oh, I don't reckon it's allus some one else's fault," I sez, after +he had got through cussin' about his luck. + +"Am I a hard man to work for?" sez he. + +"You ain't," sez I. + +"When am I ever unjust?" sez he. + +"When you go off halfcock," sez I. + +"What is it allus about?" sez he. + +I thought over everything before I answered. "Why, it's allus about +the child Barbie." + +"I ain't Cast Steel about her; I'm spring steel where she's +concerned, an' you fellers ought to know the way spring steel works +if any one does." + +"That's all right," sez I,--I was still smartin' a little,--"but the +deuce of the thing is that you go off at halfcock, an' then you +allus expect the other feller to pay the damage. It's goin' hard +with you some day, Jabez, if you don't watch closer." + +"Oh, you can't understand it. If you only knew what lyin' an' +disobedience sometimes does, you wouldn't talk so calm about it, +neither. The' ain't nothin' I wouldn't do for Barbara--except see +her get started wrong. You're different from the rest, some way, an' +she thinks more of you than the others. That's one reason why I give +you a wider circle to range in, an' why I give you foreman's pay for +odd-job work--" + +"Now if you think 'at I don't earn all you're payin' me," sez I--but +he broke in: "If I didn't think I wouldn't pay it," sez he. + +"I can go down to the Lion Head any time I want an' get more'n +you're payin' me," sez I. + +"I can pay you as much as any man in the West," sez he. + +"You couldn't hire me at all if it wasn't for Barbie," sez I. + +"An' I wouldn't hire you at all if it wasn't for her," he snaps. +"You can do the right thing at the right time better'n any other man +I ever had; but you're the contrariest man to work with on the job. +You're allus flyin' up, an' you'd talk back if your throat was cut." + +"I'm free," sez I, "an' what's more, I know it. The' ain't no law +ever been framed up yet 'at can herd me in with the cows, an' I +don't never intend to act like a cow. I'm man to man wherever I am, +an' a lot o' you fellers with big outfits are beginnin' to forget +that proposition; but I don't forget it, an'--" + +"Well, for heaven's sake," he yells, "I ain't tryin' to put a bit in +your mouth; though I must confess if I had my way about it, I'd like +to put a quart o' bran there sometimes. What I'm tryin' to do is to +come to an understandin' about the child." + +"Hasn't she gone to school every day this term?" sez I. + +"There's another thing," sez he. "When I told you to give that +schoolmaster a rawhidin', you wouldn't do it." + +"Course I wouldn't do it," sez I. "He may have been in the right as +far as I know, an' anyway, she gave him the worst of it." + +"I don't want her to give 'em the worst of it. I want her to act +like a gal child. Ridin' her pony into the schoolroom an' ropin' the +master ain't no way for a gal child to act. What I want is for the +teachers to play fair. It ain't reasonable to suppose 'at these +mountains was ever under water." + + "You stood for it when the astronomer said so," sez I; "an' the +Bible sez so, an'--" "Well, that's all right when it comes to grown- +ups; but the' ain't no use makin' a child say somethin' it don't +nowise believe. The truth is more important than a lot of water 'at +dried up millions of years ago--if it ever was here." + +"Well, the truth is a heap o' bother to Barbie's teachers at the +best," sez I. "Look at her spellin'--she comes upon a cross-bred +word in a book an' the teacher sez it's pronounced one way, an' you +another, an' me another, until she thinks we're all liars; and she +knows it the next day when she comes across another word spelled +almost alike an' pronounced just the opposite. How you goin' to +teach a child to spell an' be honest both?" + +"It's a damned outrage!" sez Jabez, his eyes flashin'. "Take +'thought' an' through,' an' 'though'--why, it's enough to ruin the +morals of the best child the' is. Hang it, I--" + +"Well, you had your own way about it," sez I. "You've had three +different teachers here this term." + +"Who built the school?" sez Jabez. "Didn't I build it with my own +money, just so I'd have it handy, an' didn't I offer to pay the +teacher if they'd put it right here at the ranch?" + +"You ain't got money enough to bring the world here to her feet, +Jabez," sez I, "an' it wouldn't be the best thing for her if you +could." + +Well, I sat there the whole blessed night, cheerin' him up. Every +time he'd get to thinkin' about his arm or his leg, I'd say +somethin' to rile him an' take his mind off his afflictions, an' +along about dawn he fell asleep. Spider Kelley had found the doctor +almost in our neighborhood, an' he arrived with him by ten in the +mornin'. He paid me a high compliment on the leg, an' after he'd +rounded up a few splinters it wasn't no trouble at all to set it; +but Jabez was in for a good long spell of it, an' the Spring round- +up in sight. You might think that this would rile him up too; but he +took it like a hero, an' I kept him in touch with everything. + +We didn't have a regular foreman at the Diamond Dot. George +Hendricks took charge around the house, an' Omaha was a sort of +ridin' over-see-er; but Jabez himself tended to even little details +when he felt like it. When he didn't feel that way, any one else who +thought of it did. After the round-up Flap Jack decided to go on a +bender. I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted, an' finally +I sent him into Jabez. + +Flappy came away just tearin' mad. "He's the hardest-hearted old +tyrant ever breathed," sez Flappy to me. + +"What now?" sez I. + +"Last time I came back I was a day late," sez Flappy. "He fair +frothed at the mouth at it, an' made me promise to give him a +month's notice next time. How's a man to know a month ahead when +he's goin' to be in the notion for a bender. I'm fair ravin' for it +now; but like's not I'll be all out o' the notion in a month." + +"Then you'll be a sight o' money ahead," sez I. + +"Money? What's money for? Can you buy a thirst like mine with money? +Why, I could take this thirst o' mine to a city an' get independent +rich, just rentin' it out by the night. I've watched fellers +drinkin' when they didn't crave it, an' it hurt 'em somethin' +dreadful. If you don't want it, you can't enjoy it until you're +under the influence of it, an' after you're under the influence of +it half the fun o' drinkin' it is gone." + +Flappy had studied this question more'n airy other man I ever see, +an' it was edicatin' to hear him lecture on it. + +"The's only one way to get around ol' Cast Steel," sez I, winkin'; +so he got Barbie to beg for him when she went in that evenin', an' +she got Jabez to let him go next day; but after Jabez'd had time to +think it over, he sez to me, "Now see what I've done--I've let that +child wheedle me into changin' my mind an' lettin' a man break his +word." + +"Well, he needed it mighty bad," sez I. + +"An' another thing; it ain't no fit thing for a gal child to be +beggin' for a man to go get drunk," sez Jabez. "Maybe not," sez I, +"but he sure needed it." + + + + +CHAPTER EIGHT + +THE LETTER + + +It all came about through me bein' edicated. Most any one can read +print words, if they're of a reasonable size,--the words I mean,-- +but I could read handwritin' too. I never was no great mathematician +when you got above fractions, an' I was some particular in what I +read; but if I 'd been minded that way, I reckon I could have waded +through purty much any kind of a book ever was written. At that +time, however, I was still middlin' young in some things, an' I sure +was suspicious of any kind of book 'at looked like a school book. + +If you'd have school books did up in paper with the right kind of +pictures on the covers you could easy get children to peruse 'em. +Did you ever notice bear cubs gettin' an edication? They ain't beat +into it, they has to be helt back. Same with the Injun kids; they +was up on edge to learn until they got to schoolin' 'em, then they +fought again it just like the white kids. The reason is that we make +children learn things they ain't curious about. I bet if you was to +try an' keep it a secret about George Washington bein' made +President because he wouldn't lie about choppin' down that cherry +tree, the kids would stay awake nights to pry into it. Kids is only +human, any way you take 'em. + +But this business was sure a fetcher to me, an' Barbie, she just +stumbled on it too. One afternoon me an' her went for a little ride +up into the foothills, an' after we'd built our fire, like we allus +did, no matter how hot it was, she lay there rollin' cigarettes for +me to smoke, like she allus did--the little scamp used to get on the +lee side o' me so the smoke would blow in her face; but we never +mentioned it. + +Well, after a while she begun to talk of romances, an' to ask me +questions about 'em. I told her as many as I could remember, an' the +one what suited her best was "Claud, the Boy Hero of Gore Gulch." It +allus used to fret her to think 'at the' wasn't nothing she could do +to make her a boy, an' she tried to even up by plannin' to herself +what she'd have done if so be she had been a boy. We talked along +about as usual; but I see the' was somethin' on her mind. She wasn't +the one to flare up an' shout for information. She allus talked in a +circle like an Injun when she really needed news. + +After a while she fished out a funny old letter. It wasn't put into +an envelope, it was just wrapped inside itself an' stuck fast with a +gob o' some kind o' wax which had been broke before it was opened. +The' had been a name on the outside, but it had been rubbed out. +Inside at the beginning was the name "Rose Cottage, San Francisco," +and a date; but I've forgotten the date. The letter began, "Dearest +George." I read that much an' then I looked at Barbie. "Where'd you +get this?" sez I. + +She reddened a little, an' then she looked me straight in the face, +and sez "I found it in the attic. I wanted a new box to put my +cigarettes in, an' one day Daddy left the attic door open an' I went +in. The' was just a dandy chest there an' he had left the key in it. +I opened it an' this letter was on top. He goes to the attic alone +every now an' again,--mostly at night,--an' he won't never let me go +with him." + +"I suppose that was the reason you thought he wanted you to go alone +to the attic, too," sez I. She flushed again. "If a person don't +trust me he ain't got no call to be surprised when I don't suit +him." + +I shook my head. Now in talkin' to her you forgot she was a child, +'cause she didn't talk broken like most of 'em do--nor she didn't +think broken neither; but when you looked at her, little and slim +an' purty as a picture, you couldn't help but wonder if she hadn't +got her soul changed off with some one else, like what they say the +Chinese believe. She had the same rules that I did for so many +things that it floored me to understand how she got 'em that young, +me havin' had to figger 'em out with a heap o' sweat. + +"Was the letter to you?" I sez, gettin' around to facts. + +"No, it wasn't; but I read it, an' I wisht I knew what it means." + +"I ain't a-goin' to read it," sez I. + +"You 're a coward," sez she. + +"That's nothing," sez I; "if it wasn't for the cowards the' would be +a heap o' vacant land in this country," sez I. + +"I thought you was my friend," sez she, takin' back the letter an' +holdin' it open in her hand. "If Spider Kelley could read he would +read it for me." + +"So would Hawkins, your pinto," sez I, grinnin'. "What you ought to +do is to tell your Dad that you have the letter. If you don't tell +him, I reckon I'll have to." + +At first she was mad as hops, an' then she looked into my eyes an' +laughed. "I'll dare you to," sez she. The' was some woman in her +even then. + +The' wasn't no way to bluff her, so I said serious, "Well, what do +you intend to do about it?" + +"I don't know," said she. "Dad has lost so many other things beside +his temper, stumpin' around with that cane, that he thinks he has +lost the key to the chest. He goes around grumblin' an' lookin' for +it; but he don't ask if any one has found it. Why do you suppose +that is?" + +"It ain't any of my supposin'," sez I. "What are you goin' to do +about it?" + +"As soon as I get through with this letter--an' make up my mind not +to hunt through the chest--I'm goin' to slip the key into his +pocket--an' then watch his face when he finds it." + +"You oughtn't to treat your own father so, Barbara," sez I. + +She laughed. "Barbara! that's a good soundin' name on your tongue, +Happy," sez she. Then she sobered. "I don't care nothing for what +you say or what he says; the' 's things I'm goin' to find out; an' I +have a right to. I never told him why it was that I whopped those +two girls over at school last winter, an' I never told even you. I +whopped 'em 'cause they said I never had a mother. Everything has to +have a mother, even a snake, an' I had one too. Why don't he tell me +about her? Why does he allus turn me off when I ask about her? I +don't intend to just let him tell me that she was the most beautiful +woman in the world an' too good to stay here, an' such things. I am +going to find out who she was, an' if you wasn't a coward you'd help +me. Now." + +It was true what she said, an' I might have known she was studyin' +about it. I might, if I'd had the sense of a hoss, have known that +this was what made her old-like--studyin' about things she never +ought to have been forced to study about. + +"Does that letter tell about her, Barbie?" I asked. + +"That's what I want to know; but you ain't got the sand to read it, +an' I can't make it out. Here, read it." + +I took it an' read it. The writin' was fine an' like what was in +Barbie's writin' book along the top. It sounded like as if a young +girl had written it partly against her will, although it was purty +lovesome too. It told about how lonely she was, an' that she hadn't +never been able to tell whether it was Jack or him she was most in +love with until Jack had asked her, an' then after Jack had deceived +her an' he had been so kind, she found out 'at he was the one she +had loved the most all the time. She reminded him 'at she had +written to him before acceptin' Jack, an' that now if he was still +sure he wanted her, she would accept him; but she could never live +near the Creole Belle. She closed with love, an' signed herself +Barbara. + +I kept on lookin' at the page a long time after I had read it. I +remembered what Monody had said when I thought he was out of his +head--about George Jordan an' Jack Whitman, an' the Creole Belle. I +knew 'at Barbie was studyin' my face, an' I pertended to spell out +the words a letter at a time until I could get full control o' +myself. + +"What kind of a bell is a Creole Bell?" sez I. "She ain't got it +spelled right neither." + +"A Creole Belle is a beautiful woman of French an' Spanish blood who +lives in New Orleans," sez Barbie. "What do you make out about it?" + +I was thinkin' fast as I could, but I still pertended to read the +letter. So Jabez had been in a scrape with some cross-breed woman, +an' he an' this Jack Whitman had loved the same girl, an' the' was a +bad mix-up somewhere. + +"Little girl," I sez, "the' 's a lot o' wickedness in this world you +don't know about--" + +"An' the' a lot o' wickedness I do know about 'at I ain't supposed +to," she snaps in. "Do you reckon I could knock around this ranch +the way I have an' not know nothin' except about flowers an' +moonlight? You cut out the little girl part an' play square." + +"Well, you look here," I sez. "I don't know what you do know an' I +don't know what you don't know; but I do know 'at lots of the things +you think you know ain't so, if you picked it up from the fool +stories some o' these damn cow punchers tell; an' you ought to be +ashamed to listen to 'em." + +"Oh, yes, of course!" she fires up. "I am the one what ought to be +ashamed of the stories the cow punchers tell! That's the way from +one end to the other; somebody else says somethin' an' I ought to be +ashamed 'cause I ain't too deaf to hear it. Now the' 's a lot of +questions I'm goin' to ask you as soon as I get time. I want to know +why--" + +"No, you don't!" I yells, jumpin' to my feet an' blushin' clear to +my ears. "I ain't neither one o' your parents an' I ain't your +teacher. If you want to know things you ask Melisse. If you don't +put a curb on yourself I'm goin' to flop myself on Starlight an' +streak for the Lion Head this very minute, an' I won't stop before +reachin' the Pan Handle." + +She knew enough to stop bettin' up a pair o' tens when she see the +other feller wasn't to be bluffed; so she sez, "Well, I'm goin' to +find it out some way or other--I'm going to find out everything I +want to know before I'm done. I love my Daddy, but he don't always +play fair; an' I'm goin' to find out what I want to find out-- +whether he wants me to or not." + +I was in a sweat. "Barbie," I sez at last, "supposin' he is playin' +fair? Supposin' he has sacrificed his own happiness to keep sorrow +out of your life, an' supposin' you nose around an' discover it-- +who'd be the one 'at played un-fair then? You're powerful young yet; +you're a heap younger'n you realize, an' you can't know it all in a +day. He'll tell you when he can, an' you ought to trust him. He +loves you more'n anything else in this wide world. You ought to +trust him, Barbie." + +She trembled tryin' to steady herself, an' I looked off into the +valley for a moment. "I know he loves me, an' I wouldn't hurt him +for the world; but I think I'm old enough to know, an' I'm goin' to +ask him. If he won't tell me now he has to set a date to tell me. I +ain't goin' to have no dirty-faced school kids askin' me questions I +can't answer." + +"I reckon all you want to know is in that chest in the garret," sez +I; "an' I reckon it's kept for you to read after--well some day; but +if I was you, I'd put back the letter an' I'd not think about it any +more'n I could help. Supposin' your Dad had had to kill a man to +save your mother, an' didn't want you to know 'at he had ever killed +a man--" + +"Humph!" she snaps in. "Didn't Claud kill fourteen men in Gore +Gulch, an' didn't I think it was fine? If he's killed a man I'd be +proud of it." + +"It's different in real life," sez I. "I like to read about Claud +myself, but I wouldn't want to slaughter men in the quantities he +does." + +"You killed a man oncet yourself," sez she. + +"When?" sez I. + +"You killed at least one o' the Brophy gang with the butt of your +gun," sez she. + +"It couldn't be proved," sez I. + +"It couldn't be denied," sez she. "If that's all you think it is I'm +goin' to ask him." + +"Supposin' your mother had made him promise not to tell you until +you came of age,--you know what store he sets on keepin' his word,-- +would you be glad to know 'at you had made him break it? This +Barbara might have been his sister, an' some one else might have +been your mother." + +"Oh, I see it now--my mother was the Creole Belle, the beautiful +lady. He allus said she was beautiful, the most beautiful woman in +the world--" She sat there with her eyes flashin', but I didn't want +to let her make up things 'at wasn't so an' then be disappointed. +"Who do you suppose George was, an' Jack?" sez I quiet. + +She drew her brows together an' sat diggin' her spur into the dirt. +"That's so, too," she said, thinkin' aloud. "But Barbara certainly +did have something to do with me, an' I wisht I knew! Oh, I wish I +could grow as big as I feel--I hate this bein' a child. I hate it!" + +"Will you put the letter back an' try to forget it?" I said at last. + +"I'll put it back at once, I'll give him the key at once; that is, +I'll slip it into his pocket, an' I won't pester him about it--now; +but you got to promise to tell me if you ever find it out. Will ya?" + +"Yes," sez I. "If I ever find it all out I'll tell you, honest +across my heart." + +"An' you won't say nothin' about this letter to Daddy, until I let +you?" she said, fixin' her eyes on me. + +"No, I won't say a word about that until you tell me to," sez I. + +"Now, then, let's play tag goin' back to the house," she said, with +her lip stiff again. Oh, she had a heart in her, that child had. + +"You know the pinto has Starlight beat on turns an' twists," sez I. + +"Yes," she sez, "an' on a two-hundred mile race, too." She played +away through the summer an' never spoke a word on the subject again; +but she hid it most too careful, and Jabez saw the' was somethin' on +her mind. "Have you any idea what the child's thinkin' about?" he +asked me one day when we was figurin' some on the beef round-up. + +I didn't answer straight off, an' he noticed it. "What is she +studyin' about?" sez he, mighty shrewd. + +"How can a body tell what that child is studyin' about?" sez I. + +"You're with her most of the time--fact is, about all you do is to +play with her these days." + +"Any time my work here don't suit you," I began; but he snaps in, +"It ain't a question o' work. If you amuse her you're worth more to +me'n any other ten men; but I have some rights. I want to know what +you think." + +"Have you asked her?" sez I. + +"I'm askin' you," sez he. + +"Well, I want you to understand 'at I ain't no spy," sez I, glad of +a way out. "I don't know all 'at 's on her mind, an' I don't propose +to guess; and if I did know, I wouldn't tell unless she told me to. +If you know any way to make me tell, why go ahead and I'll stand by +and watch the proceedin's." + +Well, he ranted up an' down a while, an' finally he pulls himself +down an' sez, "Now look here, Happy, the' 's a difference between a +parent an' anybody else." + +"I own too to that," sez I; "but what have I got to do with it?" + +"Well, you can sort of hint around until you find out what's on her +mind, an' if it ain't somethin' fit, you can tell her so; because if +it comes to a show down, she thinks I ought to tell her anything she +wants to know." + +"Well, hadn't you?" sez I. + +"Yes, sometime, I suppose--but hang it, it's mighty hard to answer +some of her questions, or to give reasons why I can't answer 'em." + +"Have you asked her what's on her mind this time?" sez I. + +He fidgeted around a while, an' then he sez, "Yes, I asked her." + +"What did she say?" sez I. + +"She looked me plumb in the eyes, an' said, 'Do you want me to ask +you what I want to find out?'" + +"What did you say?" sez I. + +"Why, I said, 'Yes, Barbara, if it is something you ought to know.'" + +"Well?" I sez, after waitin' a bit. + +"Why, she flared up," sez Jabez, "an' went on sarcastic about it +bein' strange to her why girls was so much different from other +folks, an' there bein' so many things 'at they wasn't fit to know; +an' finally she said to me point blank, 'Do you want me to ask you +what I want to know, an' if I do ask you will you answer?'" + +"What did you say?" I sez. + +"I didn't know what to say," sez Jabez. "She looked different from +any way she had ever looked before, and after a minute I sez, 'No, +Barbara, I don't think you had better ask me, an' I don't think you +had better think of it any more.' Don't you think I did right?" + +"No," sez I, "you did not. You simply side-stepped; you wilted under +fire, an' she hates a coward as much as you do. Why didn't you face +it right then?" + +"Happy," he sez, an' his voice wrung my heart, "the' 's things +she'll have to know sometime, but she ain't old enough to know 'em +yet." He stopped, an' his face grew hard as stone when he went on. +"But the' 's some things that she never can know, an' I don't want +her to even learn that there are such things. That's why you have to +find out what's on her mind." + +"Now you know, Jabez, that I have my own ideas on what I have to do; +but you tell me what kind o' things there are that she mustn't ever +learn, an' maybe I'll see your way of it." + +Jabez looked down at the ground, an' the sweat broke out on his +forehead before he answered me. When he did the' wasn't a trace of +friendliness in his tone. "You have done a heap for me, Happy, and +if there's anything in the money line that you think I owe you, why, +name it an' it's yours; but you can see for yourself that we can't +go on this way. I haven't asked you to do anything unreasonable and +you have refused point blank. I don't intend to explain myself to +one of my own men, and I don't intend to have an argument with him +every time I want anything done my way. This is my ranch and as long +'s my own way suits me, that's the only man it has to suit." + +"Yes, you own this ranch," sez I; "but you don't own the earth, so +I'll move on." + +"I haven't fired you," sez Jabez. "You're welcome to work here as +long as you want to; but you'll have to be like the other men from +this on. You've been like one of the family so long 'at we don't +pull together any more, and so if you stay I'll have to send you out +with the riding gangs." + +I looked into his face and laughed, though even then I was sorry for +him. He led a lonely life, an' I knew 'at he'd miss me; but we was +both as we was, so I rolled up my stuff, loaded up Starlight, an' +said good-bye to little Barbie. That was the hard part of it. She +didn't cry when I told her I was goin'--that would 'a' been too +girlish-like for her; she just breathed hard an' jerky for a couple +o' minutes while we looked in opposite directions, an' then she +said, "How'll you come back next time, Happy? It's over three years +ago since you left that other time, an' you came back just as you +said, ridin' on a black hoss with silver trimmed leather. How'll you +come back next time?" + +"I don't know, Barbie," I said, "but I'll sure come back, true to +you." + +"Yes," she said, "an' I'll sure be true to you, all the time you're +away and when you come back." + +"Barbie," I said, "you haven't treated your father right. You've let +him see that you're worryin' about somethin', an' it bothers him." + +"I ain't made out o' wood," she snaps out fierce. "I try to be +contented, but I get tired o' bein' a girl. I've half a mind to go +with you, Happy." + +"Yes, but the other half of your mind is the best half, Barbie," I +said. "Now I'm goin' to tell you a secret; your daddy is twice as +lonesome as you are, and he's been through a heap of trouble +sometime. You miss the mother that you never did see, but he misses +the mother that he knew and loved; and I want you to promise to do +all you can to cheer him up and make him happy." + +"I never thought o' that before," said she, "I'll do the best I can- +-but you'll come back to me sometime, won't you, Happy?" + +"I sure will," I said, an' we shook hands on it. Then I decided that +I'd leave Starlight with her. He wasn't as good for knockin' around +as a range pony, and I didn't know what I'd be doin', so I took my +stuff off him, picked out a tough little mustang from the home herd, +shook hands with her again, an' started. I glanced up toward old +Savage, and she read my thoughts. "I'll take flowers to him now and +again," sez she, "and I'll go up there and talk to him about you; +and Happy, Happy, we'll both be lonesome until you come back!" And +so I kissed her on the lips, and rode away the second time. + + + + +CHAPTER NINE + +ADRIFT AGAIN + + +Well, I rode purty tol'able slow. Some way I didn't want to go back +to the Lion Head Ranch. I knew 'at Jim would be glad to see me, but +I knew I'd be lonesomer there than among total strangers; so I just +floated, punchin' cows most o' the time, but not runnin' very long +over the same range. + +It was just about this period that I begun to lose my serious view +o' life and get more man-like. The usual idea is that a boy is a +careless, happy, easy-goin' sort of a creature, and a man is a +steady, serious minded, thoughtful kind of an outfit; but just the +reverse. A boy starts out believin' most o' what's told him an' +thinkin' that it's his duty to reform the world; an' about the only +thing he is careless of is human life--his own or any one else's. +Fact o' the matter is that if you watch him close enough you'll find +out that even in his games a boy is about the solemnest thing on +earth, an' you have to know the game purty thorough to tell when it +drifts into a real fight. That's why all wars have been fought by +boys. They believe in any cause 'at looks big enough to lay down +their lives for, an' that's their chief ambition. A man, though; +gets to see after a time that the' 's most generally somebody up +behind who's working the wires, an' he gets so 'at he don't want to +lay down ANYBODY's life, except as a last resort. He looks favorable +upon amusement, an' after a while he kind o' sort o' gets hardened +to the fact that the whole thing's a joke and he'd rather laugh than +shoot. Why, I'd be more afraid of a boy with a popgun than I 'd be +of a man with a standin' army. + +So as I said, it was just about this time in my life that I begun to +hunt up pleasant places to eat and sleep; an' if I heard of trouble +in the next county I turned out an' went around. I did a little of +everything; even lugged a chain in a surveyor outfit, but the' +wasn't enough chance in that. I got to have a trace of gamblin' in +anything I do; so the first thing I knew I was down in Nevada +lookin' for the treasure 'at Bill Brophy had buried there. The last +of his gang had tried to describe the place, but his description +would have done for 'most any place in Nevada--she not bein' what +you might call free-handed in the way of variety. + +Well, I ragged around in the mountains between Nevada and +California, lookin' for a flat-shaped rock with a mountain-peak on +each side of it, an' a cold wind sweepin' up the canon--I don't know +just how the cold wind got included, but the dyin' outlaw dwelt upon +that cold wind something particular. I stayed out puny late in the +season, an' if cold winds was identifyin', Brophy had his treasure +buried purty unpartially all over the West. + +I reckon I'd have died if I had it fallen in with Slocum. Slocum was +a queer lookin' speciment when you first came upon him. His skin +didn't fit him very well, bein' a trifle too big, an' wrankled an' +baggy in consequence; his eyes was kind of a washy blue, an' they +stuck out from his face, givin' him the most sorrowful expression I +ever see. You just couldn't be suspicious of a man with such eyes as +that; he seemed to have throwed himself wide open an' invited the +whole world to come an' look inside. Why, a perfect stranger would +have trusted Slocum with his last plug of tobacoo, and like as not +he'd have gotten part of it back. Well, as I said, I was headin' for +warmer weather, but I got overtook an' had about given up all hope +when I noticed the smell of smoke in the air. I was walkin' on foot +an' pullin' a burro with a pack behind me, an' after a time I +located that smoke comin' right up through the snow. + +I yelled and shouted around for a while without gettin' any +response. Night and the snow was both fallin' fast, an' that smoke +was exceeding temptin'. Finally I took a piece of burlap off the +pack, put it over the hole where the smoke was comin' up through, +an' piled snow on top of it. I was curious to see what would happen. +I waited--perhaps it was only five minutes, but it seemed that many +hours--an' then a low, calm voice, down somewhere beneath me, sez, +"Get off that chimney!" + +"I will," sez I, "when you tell me how to get to the fire." + +I waited again, an' then a man with a lantern emerged into the cut +about forty feet below me, an' told me how I could wind around and +come down to him. Well, me an' the burro finally worked it out, an' +there was a man with long whiskers standin' in his shirt-sleeves in +front of a hole in the snow. + +"You like to 'a' smothered me," he grumbled. "Don't you know +better'n to stop up a chimney that's workin'?" + +"I wanted the chimney to work double," sez I, "an' that was the only +way I could think up to attract your attention." + +"Do you live around here?" sez he. "Not very much," sez I, "but I 'm +minded to try it a while, if there 's room in your burrow for two." + +"Got any tobacco?" sez he. + +"Plenty," sez I. + +"You're welcome," sez he. + +We took the burro over to a clump of pine woods an' turned him +loose, an' then I crawled in through the tunnel to Slocum's fire. It +was in a cave which had a natural chimney runnin' up the hill, an' +it looked considerable much like Paradise to me. We ate an' smoked +together for a week. an' then one day our fire went out an' a flood +of water poured down through the chimney. We worked like beavers for +a while, gettin' our stuff outdoors, an' it was as hot as summer +outside. + +"That's the only drawback to this cave," said Slocum. "It will be +all to the good when the winter settles in earnest, but it will be +some bother while it's still snowin' an' thawin'." + +I told him that I agreed with him to such an extent that if I could +locate the burro I'd rather risk gettin' back to humanity than to +dyin' there of rheumatiz. I was wringin' wet through. + +"Nobody can't die of rheumatiz around me," sez Slocum, an' he went +to one of his packs an' got out a piece of root. + +"Chew this," sez he, "an' it will drive the rheumatiz out of your +system." + +Anybody would have trusted those eyes, so I chewed the root for +about a minute, an' then I chewed snow an' mud an' tobacco an' red +pepper for an hour, tryin' to get rid of the taste. Drive the +rheumatiz out of your system? Why, the blame stuff would drive out +your system too if you chewed it long enough. It was the +tarnationest stuff 'at ever a human man met up with. + +"It's most too strong to take pure," sez Slocum, "but if you grind +it an' put a shall pinch in a quart of alcohol it makes a fine +remedy. Don't throw the rest o' that root away. There is enough +there to do you a lifetime." + +"Yes," sez I, "there is, an' more." + +A feiler once told me that man was a slave to his envirament-- +envirament is anything around you, scenery, books, evil companions, +an' sech; well, a burro ain't no slave to his envirament 'cause he +generally eats it. My burro was fat, an' the clump of pine trees had +mostly disappeared. I loaded up my stuff, shook hands with Slocum, +and started down the mountain. Just as I got fully started Slocum +sez to me, "I 'm sure sorry to see you go. I don't generally get +much friendly with folks any more, but I took to you from the first, +an' any time I can do you a favor, all you got to do is to wink." + +"What's your general plan of occupation, Slocum?" sez I. + +"All that I ever expect to do for the remainder of my days," sez he, +"is to search for my Rheumatiz Remedy." + +"Well," sez I, "any time you get to do me a favor in that line, +it'll be when I'm too weak to wink." So we parted the best o' +friends, an' I went on to a lumber camp where I put in the winter +bossin' a gang. I didn't know much about lumber, but the men there +was just the same as anywhere else, an' we got along fine. + +I was bossin' a little ranch up in Idaho next June when I heard tell +of a big strike in the Esmeralda range--not such a great distance +from where I had spent the week with Slocum. The report had it that +a feller named Slocum had located the big ace of gold mines, an' I +was some et up with curiosity to see if it was the same Slocum; but +I was needed at the ranch that winter, an' as I took a likin' for +the young feller who was tryin' to make it go, I stuck to him, an' +it wasn't until the followin' July that I pulled out an' floated +down that way. + +Well, it was the same old Slocum sure enough. He was the most +onlucky cuss 'at ever breathed, I reckon. Every time he had made up +his mind to do something, Fate had stepped up an' voted again it. He +had wasted the best part of his life locatin' gold mines 'at +wouldn't hang out, until at last even he got disgusted an' went to +huntin' for his Injun root to cure rheumatiz with. First thing he +knew, he had stumbled on a bonanza lode in the Esmeralda range. This +here lode was a peach. Ten-foot face on top, just soggy with gold +an' silver, an' copper an' tin enough to pay expenses. It just +looked as if they's said, "Now then, there's Slocum; he been +hammered so long he's got callous to it. Let's jus' see how he'd act +if we switched his luck on him." An' they sure done it. + +Slocum, he scratched around until he see that it wasn't no joke, an' +then he set bait for a couple o' capitalists. He trapped two +beauties, an' they put up the assets an' went in, equal partners. +They sunk shafts an' built stamp mills an' smelters an' retorts; oh, +they sure made plans to get the metal wholesale. As soon as it began +to flow in they built stores an' shacks an' a big hotel--they wasn't +timorous about puttin' their coin into circulation, you bet your +life, an' it looked as if they was going to flood the market. + +Well, Slocum, he owned a third of everything, mind, an' his +expression flopped square over like a dry moon, an' stayed points +up. He forgot all those years 'at he'd been havin' the muddy end of +it, an' after a time he got 'em to call the mine "Slocum's Luck." +The' wasn't no call to hurl such an insult as that into the mouth of +an honest, hard-workin' mine, an' naturally, as soon as it was done, +the mine laid down in its tracts an' refused to give up another +ounce. + +They came to a break in the lode an' couldn't find the beginnin' +again. The same twist that had hove one edge out of the ground had +unjointed the other. But they had got out a tidy sum already, an' +they knew the' must be a loose end somewhere, so they was anxious to +keep their outfit in good order. + +Slocum hadn't swelled clear out of shape with his new fortune, an' +when I made myself known to him he had give me a purty tol'able +decent sort of a job, where there was more bossin' an' +responsibility than brute labor; an' I felt kindly toward him. +Winter lasted full four months out there. It was a good ninety miles +to the railroad, an' so when the mornin's begun to get frosty every +one else scooted for humanity, an' I, bein' more or less weak- +minded, took the job o' watchman, at forty a month an' my needin's. +I always was a hog for litachure, so I got a bushel o' libraries an' +started in to play it alone. + +The' wasn't a blessed thing to do, so I read 'em through by New +Years, an' got out of tobacco by the first of February. From that on +I begun to think in a circle, an' my, intellect creaked like a dry +axle before the bluebirds began to sing. Quiet? I could hear the +shadows crawlin' along the side of the house. The snow was seventy- +five feet deep in the canyons, so you might say I was duty bound to +stay there. As a general rule, I don't shirk breakin' a path, but +when the snow is more than fifty feet higher than my head, I'd +rather walk fourth or fifth. + +When the outfit came back in the spring I was the entire reception +committee; but I bet the' never was one more able to do its part. + + + + +CHAPTER TEN + +A WINTER AT SLOCUM'S LUCK + + +They only brought out about half a gang that summer, an' they kept +them probin' around all over the neighborhood; but though they found +enough stuff to about pay expenses, they couldn't get back on the +main track. Both the Eastern capitalists showed up along toward fall +to see what was doin', an' when it came time to knock off work, they +tried to get me to repeat my little performance as watchman. + +I thanked 'em for their trustfulness, but i politely declined the +honor. I told 'em 'at I was purty tol'able quick-witted, an' it +didn't take me four months to study out what I was goin' to say +next. But I compromised by sayin' that if they would give me two +other fellers for company I'd stay; otherwise they'd have to rustle +up some poor devil 'at needed the money. They knew 'at I was +reliable, so they agreed; an' I selected out my two companions in +affliction. What I mostly wanted was a heap of variety, an' when the +number is limited to two, a feller has to be some choicy; but I +reckon I got the best the' was. + +There'd been a little light-haired feller there all season, kind o' +gettin' familiar with labor, like. He was no account to work, he +couldn't even learn to tie a knot; but he talked kin' o' blotchy, +an' it was divertin' to listen to him. One day we was kiddin' him +about bein' so thumby, an' he sez, "That's right, boys, laugh while +you can; but I'll have you all between the covers of a book some +day, an' then it will be my grin. I ain't swore no everlastin' +felicity to the holy cause o' labor; I'm just gettin' local color +now." + +Next day he fell into a barrel of red paint he was swobbin' on the +hotel to keep her from warpin', an' every blessed man in camp passed +out about six jokes apiece relatin' to local color. He never +saddened up none, though, just smiled sorrowful, as though he pitied +us, an' went on tanglin' up everything he touched. + +An' then there was another curious speciment there; a tall thin +feller, with one o' them lean, chinny faces. He claimed 'at he had +been a show actor, but his lungs had given out--claimed he was a +tragudian, but Great Scott! he couldn't even turn a handspring. + +He said he was recuperatin', an' he sure did hit his liquor purty +hard; but I never could make out what he expected to get out of a +minin' camp, 'cause he was full as useless as Local Color. About +half the fellers you meet strayin' around out here are a bit one- +sided, but we don't care so long as they're peaceable. When you'd +guy this one a little stout, he'd fold his arms, throw back his +head, an' say, "Laugh, varlets, laugh! Like the cracklin' o' thorns +under a pot, is the laughter of fools." This was the brand of +langwidge 'at flowed from this one, an' he wasn't no ways stingy +with it. + +Well, they had kept these two at boys' jobs an' boys' wages, an' +when I offered 'em the position of deputy watchmen, they fair jumped +at it. Said Local Color, "It will be a golden opportunity to +perpetuate the seething thoughts which crowd upon my brain." Said +Hamlet, "I thank thee, sir, for this, thy proposition fair. In sooth +I'll try the cold-air cure, and in the majesty of prime-evil +silence, I shall make the snow-capped mountains echo to the +wonderful rhapsodies of Shakespeare." Well, the' was a super- +abundance of cold air an' prime-evil silence an' snow-capped +mountains, an' I didn't care a hang what he did to 'em, so long as +it kept me from gettin' everlastin' sick o' my own company. + +I never see any company yet 'at wasn't a shade better'n just my own. +I knew I could stand these two innocents for four months, an' if +they got violent I could rope an' tie 'em. When everybody begun to +get ready to pull out, I took the twenty-mule team down to town to +get our needin's. I took the children along with me, an' I sez to +'em, "Now, boys, no drinkin' goes up above through the winter. We +simply have to go out an' get disgusted with it before we start +back." + +Well, we sure had a work-out. On the sixth day Hamlet, he throws his +arm around my neck an' busts out cryin' an' sez, "Happy, it is the +inflexible destiny o' the human race to weary of all things mortal, +an' I'm dog-tired o' bein' drunk--an' 'sides, I'm busted." + +It turned out that he didn't have any advantage over me an' Locals +in this respect, so we went to the company store an' got three +bushels o' nickle libraries, enough grub to do six men six months, +enough tobacco to do twelve men a car, an' a little yeller pup 'at +we give six bits for. I didn't 'low to run any risks this deal. + +When we got back 'most everybody had pulled out, an' the roads was +beginnin' to choke up. Slocum an' the two capitalists was there +waitin' for us, but when all their stuff was loaded on the wagon +the' wasn't room for the men; so Miller, the youngest capitalist, +who was a bit of a highroller, an' had been shakin' up the coast off +an' on, he took off four trunks, an' sez to me, "Happy, if you run +out of clothes, here's four trunks-full." Then they hopped on the +wagon an' left us alone in our glory. + +I reckon, take it all in all, that was about the most florid winter +I ever put in, an' it purt' nigh spoilt me for hard work. I did the +cookin', the innocents did the chores, an' we got along as bully as +a fat bear for a while, livin' in the hotel. The' was a hundred +rooms, but we didn't use 'em all. Locals, he wrote most of the time, +when he wasn't lookin' at the ceiling an' tryin' to think. Hammy, he +walked barefoot in the snow, on' hollered at the snow-capped +mountains. I read nickle libraries, an' we didn't care a dang for +the Czar of Russia, until along toward Christmas a spark lit in my +pile of litachure, an' doggone near burned the hotel down. Then we +began to feel snowed-in. Locals had writ himself dry, Hammy was +tired of listenin' to himself, besides havin' chilblains up to his +knees, an' I was half crazy, 'count of havin' nothing to read. We +didn't have a nickle between us, so we couldn't gamble, an' I +resigned my mind that when spring climbed up the trail the 'd be two +corpses an' one maniac in that cussed hotel. + +One day Hammy came stalkin' in to where me an' Locals was playin' +guess. Guess ain't never apt to be a popular pastime 'cause it has +to be played without any kind o' cheatin' whatever. The one who is +it, guesses what the other one is thinkin' of, an' if he guesses +before he falls asleep, he wins. Well, Hammy, he breaks in on our +game just the same as if we hadn't been doin' anything at all, an' I +knew by his action that the' was somethin' afoot. Whenever Hammy was +ready to speak something, he always walked like a hoss 'at was +string-haltered in all four legs. Well, he paraded up to us that +day, hip action, knee action, and instep action all workin', stopped +in front of us, folded his arms, an' sez, "Good sirs, I have +conceived a fitting fete." "The only fate I expect is to go mad an' +cut my own throat," sez Locals; but Hammy frowned an' went on in a +scoldy, indignant voice. "When Wisdom speaks, Folly replies with +jest; yet, having little choice of company, I needs must make the +best of what I have." + +Well, those two had what they called a war of wits until finally +Locals hit Hammy with a chair, which was the way most o' their +discussions ended; but it turned out that what Hammy was tryin' to +say was that we should open the trunks, dress ourselves in the +clothes, an' give a show. He said he knew parts to fit any make-ups +we'd find; an' after Locals found out what it was 'at Hammy had +schemed out, he joined in enthusiastic, an' said that if the' had +never been a part writ to fit 'em yet, he could do it on the spot, +an' he wasn't swamped with business right then anyway. "Yes," I sez, +" it's a great idee, an' we'll sure draw a mammoth crowd. We'll +charge 'em a library apiece an' get enough litachure to last us a +hundred years." "At best, sarcasm is out of season; at worst, the +season 's out of it," sez Hammy to me: "and furthermore, good +friend, in life, as on the stage, your part must be a role of +actions, not of words." I used to say over the things 'at this pair +made up, until I had 'em by heart, an' since then I've had a lot o' +fun springin' 'em on strangers. They used to speak to me as though I +was a horse, and of me as though I was part of the furniture. Hammy +sez to me one day, "Me good man, you do very well with your hands, +but kindly Nature designed your head merely for a hatrack." + +They could say these little things right off the roll, an' it allus +made me feel like a fish out o' water, somehow, but I stored 'em up +in my memory, an' I've got my worth out of 'em all right. + +We did open the trunks a week or so after this--and clothes! Well, +say, Miller sure was the dresser. The' was fifteen hats in a little +trunk built a-purpose for 'em, an' the' was all kinds of vests an' +pants an' neckties 'at a feller could imagine. But best of all was a +book 'at we found at the bottom of one o' the trunks. It was a hard- +shelled book, an' I never took much stock in that kind. When it's my +turn to read a book, a little old paper-back fits me out all right. +I've been fooled on them hard-shells too often; but this here one +was a hummer. + +I ain't no tenderfoot when it comes to a book, but this one was sure +the corkin'est I ever met up with. I had allus thought 'at +"Seventeen Buckets o' Blood; or the Mormon Widder's Revenge" was +about the extreme limit in books, but this here one lays over even +that. It was called "Monte Cristo," an' had the darndest set o' Dago +names in it ever a mortal human bein' laid eyes on. I tried to mine +it out by myself at first, but pshaw, every cuss in the book had a +name like an Injun town, an' the' was about as many characters in +the book as the' is on the earth; so I delegated Hammy to read her +out loud. This suited Hammy to the limit, an' he didn't only read +her--he acted her. He'd roar an' screech an' whisper an' glare into +your eyes so blame natural that a feller never used the back of his +chair from start to finish, an' twice I was on the point of shootin' +him, thinkin' it was real. + +If you ain't never read the book it'll pay you to fling up your job +an' wrastle through it. It starts out with a nice, decent young +feller sailin' home to marry his steady, but all his friends turn in +an' stack the cards on him, an' get him chucked into the rottenest +dungeon in France. He knowed how they soak it to a feller citizen in +that country, an' at first he was all for killin' himself; but after +he'd studied it over ten or twelve years, he suddenly heard a queer +scratchin' noise. + +In that same prison was another prisoner, an Abbey. An Abbey is a +kind of foreman priest. Well, this Abbey wasn't one to throw out a +prayer an' then set down to wait for results, not him. He was one o' +these nervous, fretty fellers what like to do their own drivin', an' +he makes him a set o' minin' tools out of a tin saucepan an' a bed- +castor, an' runs a level from his own cell into Eddie's--an' that +was the queer, scratchin' sound that made Eddie decide not to kill +himself. + +By George, if I could find a prison what had an Abbey shut up in it, +the' wouldn't be any way in the world to keep me out. This Abbey, he +cottoned to Eddie right from the start, an' durin' the next few +years they mine around in the prison till she's as holey as a +Switzer cheeze; an' durin' their leisure he edicates Eddie till he +knows more'n a college professor. + +Then the Abbey begins to have fits, an' when all the medicine 'at he +could make out of old soot an' sulphur matches an' such stuff is +gone, he gives up an' tells Eddie where he has a little holler +island, chuck full o' diamonds an' money an' such like plunder. Then +he dies, an' Eddie gets in the sack. They chain a round shot to +Eddie's feet an' hurl him off a cliff into the angry sea, an' when +it comes to that part you can't hardly breathe; but Eddie kicks off +the chain, rips open the sack, an' when he strikes the water he's a +free man. + +He swims along for a couple of days until he overtakes a smuggler, +an' he climbs on board an' shows 'ern how to run their business +accordin' to Hoyle. He only stays with 'em long enough to learn all +their secrets, an' then he gives 'em the slip an' goes to his little +holler island. He pulls off the top, an' it's all so, what the Abbey +told him. Then he lifts up his hand an' he sez, sez he, "I'll be +avenged!" And he sure done it. + +He didn't believe in none o' your cheap little killin's. He gives +'em all the range they wanted while he was fixin' up the cards; but +when he was ready to call their hands, the' was somethin' doin' +every minute, an' don't you never forget it. Oh, he was a deep one. +It is creepy to think of any one like him bein' turned loose on the +earth, 'cause a feller might do somethin' 'at didn`t suit him, an' +the' wasn't no place you could hide in afterward. He kept watchin' +all the while, an' nobody couldn't commit a crime nowheres on earth +but what he knew of it, an' he'd go an' call the feller over to one +side an' say, "Young man, you are doomed to die; but if you'll +promise to do anything I want you to, I'll give the Pope, or the +Emp'rer of Chinee, or whoever the main stem happened to be, a +scuttle o' diamonds an' get you free--what's the word?" + +Well, in a few years the' wasn't half a dozen criminals in the whole +world who wasn't bound to carry out his orders, an' you can see what +an outfit he had to back him up. Some of 'em he'd make his body- +servants; but that wasn't no snap, you can bet, 'cause he was +notionable to a degree. He'd make plans for a little party, an' he'd +send one man to Siberia for a fish, an' another to Asia for a fowl, +an' another to Chinee for a bird's nest--to make soup of--an' so on. +He never give his guests nothin' to eat 'at growed in the same +country the feast was to be give in. Then he'd say to his steward, +who had the hardest job of all," hill "--Bill wasn't his name, but +it'll do--"Bill, where did I see that six-foot vase, made out of a +single ruby?" + +An' Bill would turn pale an' say, "It was in the secret vault of the +Em'prer of Chince, your Excellency." Then Monte Cristo, he'd say, +"Ah, yes, so it was. `Tell, go an' get it an' have it here by the +twenty-fifth day of next month." + +Well, Bill, he'd just about flicker out, an' begin to tell how it +couldn't be did; but Xlonte, he'd only look at him cold, an' say, +"Never mind the details, Bill--get the vase. If you think you need +the British Navy, why, buy it, but don't bother me. It seems to me, +Bill, 'at you ought to begin gittin' on to my curves purty soon. +Good-bye." + +This was the way he carried on. He'd go to a prison an' he'd say, +"Young man, you was buried to death when you was a baby, but I +figgered I could use you later on, so I had you transplanted. You +come out o' this prison, get an edication, an' on the ninth o' next +June you show up at number forty-nine, Rue de Champaign, Paris, at +two fifteen P. M.--sharp. Here's a million francs to pay expenses. +Don't be a tight-wad--the's plenty more." A franc is worth five +dollars, but he didn't give a durn for 'em. That was HIS style. + +He'd come to town an' buy a tenement house 'at wouldn't rent, +because it was haunted; an' he'd tear it all down except the rooms +'at had been most popular to commit murder in. Then next day he'd +run up a swell mansion around these rooms--big an' gorgeous, like +the Capitol at Cheyenne, with full-grown trees from all over the +world, standin' in the front yard. Then he 'd give a party to all +the substantial citizens who had once used those rooms to commit +murders in, an' he'd bring 'em face to face with the ones they +thought they had murdered--an' it was comical to see 'em fallin' +around in faints; but Monte, he'd pretend 'at he hadn't noticed +anything unusual, an' he'd get 'em a glass of wine an' make 'em face +the torture, till it gives a feller a cold sweat, just to read about +it. + +You might think that a man runnin' for congress in this country has +a hard time sinkin' his reputation; but the way 'at Monte Cristo +mined around in a feller's past was enough to scare a cat out of a +cellar. They don't run things over in France like they do here; they +make Counts an' Markusses an' Bankers out of the bad men, an' slap +the innocent ones into dungeons to keep 'em from gettin' spoilt. But +this didn't suit Monte for a minute; so when he gets the gang all +settin' up in front of him like a herd o' tenpins he sez, "Let her +go!" an' you ought to have seen 'em drop. + +He don't do none o' the dirty work himself--no more prisons for him. +He just goes around like a Sunday-school director at Christmas time, +while his enemies turn to an' poison an' stab an' mutilate each +other in a way to turn a butcher pale; but his favorite plan is to +make 'em go insane an' have their hair turn white in a single night. +That got to be his private brand. + +Well, Hammy read the book to us so natural that we all slept in one +bed for company; but it cheered us a heap, an' we begun to feel +rich, ourselves, an' talked about millions as easy an' natural as +though we each had little holler islands of our own. Miller was +about my size, so 'at all his clothes fit me like the skin on a +potato. Hammy was a leetle too tall an' thin, and Locals, a foot or +so short; but they fished out a couple of swell outfits too. + +We found a lot of empty check-books, an' used to play draw, settlin' +at night by check. It was purty good fun for a while--until we woke +up. Hammy owed me ten million francs an' Locals was into me for +fifteen. I offered to give 'em a receipt in full if they'd give me +their interest in the yeller pup. As long as the pup had three +bosses he wouldn't mind no one, an' I wanted to teach him somethin' +besides eatin' an' sleepin; but them two cusses wouldn't sell out at +the price. When I saw that a hundred an' twenty-five million dollars +wouldn't buy two-thirds of a seventy-five cent pup, I understood +what the spell-binders mean by a debased currency, an' I felt hurt +an' lonesome again. + +One day Hammy stacked himself in front of a window an' began to talk +about the gloomy ghastliness of solitude, until me an' Locals +couldn't stand it no longer, an' we heaved him out into a drift. +Under ordinary circumstances he would have rolled his eyes, pulled +his hair, an' ranted around about the base ungratitude of man; but +this time he looked up to the sky an' hollered, "Come out here +quick! Hurry up! COME ON!" + +We went out, an' the' was somethin' a-floatin' away up yonder, +lookin' like a flyspeck on a new tablecloth. "What is it?" asked +Hammy. "Is it a bird?" asked Locals. Under such conditions I never +say nothin' until I have somethin' to say, so we stood an' gazed. In +about ten minutes we all shouted together, "It's a balloon!" + +An' by jinks, that's what it was. We hollered an' fired off guns, +an' after a while it settled down an' lodged in a tree. The' was +only one man in it, but he was dyked out in Sunday clothes, an' +purt' nigh froze to death. We fed an' warmed him, an' he was about +as much surprised at us as we was at him. I was wearin' a Prince +Albert coat an' a high plug hat, Locals had on a white flannel +yachtin' rig, an' Hammy was sportin' a velvet suit with yeller +leggin's an' a belt around the waist. After we had fitted him out +with a pipe he sez, "Gentlemen, I may possibly be able to repay you +at some future time. I am Lord Arthur Cleighton, second son of the +Earl o' Clarenden." + +When he registered himself thus, I see Locals an' Hammy open their +eyes, an' I knew 'at we had landed somethin' purty stately. + +"I am pleased to meet you, me lord," sez Hammy, in his most gorgeous +manner. "I am Gene De Arcy. You may have heard of my father, the +multimillionaire." + +Locals, he looked at Lord Arthur, an' see that Hammy's bluff had +stuck, so he girded up his loins an' sez, "Sir, it gives me great +pleasure to make your acquaintance. My uncle, Silas Martin, the late +copper king, has just died, leavin' me as his sole heir; an' I have +been seein' a bit of my own country, preparatory to a prolonged trip +around the world." + +Lord Arthur, he jumps to his feet an' shakes hands with 'em, tellin' +'em to just cut out his title, as he was a simple Democrat while in +the United States. + +I hardly knew what to do. I didn't hold openers, an' yet if I didn't +draw some cards an' see it out I stood to lose entirely. I had been +corralin' a heap o' city langwidge since I had been cooped up with +Locals an' Hammy, but my heart failed me. I knew I was still some +shy on society manners; but I also knew 'at the' was a heap o' +bluffin' goin' on, so I stuck up my bet an' called. + +"Artie," I sez, holdin' out my hand, "you 're the first lord my eyes +has ever feasted on; but I like you--you're game. it ain't many 'at +will own up to bein' a Democrat these days, not even in the secrecy +of the ballot box, but here in Nevada you're safe. Pa has just +retired from business, leavin' me this little mine; but it only pays +about ten million a year now, so I've made up my mind not to bother +with it, but to shut it down an' go on a tour of the world with my +two friends here. I never cared much for school, so this will be a +good way to finish my edication. We was up here last fall seein' +that things was closed in proper order, an' waited for the watchman +to come up from below, when we expected to drive down to our special +train an' start for Paris. But the snow came unexpected, and the +expected watchman failed to come; and here we are, with no food fit +for a human, an' all our servants in the special train, ninety miles +away." + +When I begun my oration Locals and Hammy leaned forward, holdin' +their breath; but when they see 'at I wasn't turnin' out no +schoolboy article of a lie, they settled back with a long sigh, an' +I could tell by their faces 'at they were takin' pride in my work. +They was about the best qualified judges o' that kind o' work I ever +met up with, an' I'll own 'at I never felt prouder in my life 'an I +did when Hammy slapped me on the back as soon as I finished an' sez +to Artie, "Me Lord, this is a typical American. He plans his life on +larger things than rules; but you can depend on him--yea, though the +heavens fall, you can depend on Jack here." + +I was glad we didn't have any liquor there, or like as not we'd 'a' +burned the hotel down just for a lark. We was so full of that +doggone Monte Cristo book that we believed our own lies as easy as +Artie did, an' begun to talk to each other like we was society folks +at a banquet. + +But Artie was a good, decent sort of a chap, as common as we were, +when we got to know him. He never kicked none on the grub, an' his +appetite was a thing to make preparations for; but, as Locals said, +his high descent came out the minute he was brought face to face +with work--he didn't recognize it. Now he didn't try to dodge it, +nor he didn't apologize for not doing it; he just didn't seem to +know the' was such a thing. It never occurred to him that the only +way to have clean dishes was to wash dirty ones. Hammy and Locals, +those freeborn sons of Independence, was glad an' proud to have the +chance to wait on him; but I must confess that the day he sat by the +fire with a pile of wood within reachin' distance, an' let the fire +go out, I grew a trifle loquacious about it. + +Hammy overheard me mutterin' to myself in a voice 'at could be heard +anywhere in the hotel, an' he drew me to one side an' sez, "Hush, +presumptuous peasant; for all you know the blood of Alfred flows +within his veins." + +"That ain't my fault," sez I; "but some of it will flow down this +mountain side if he don't begin stayin' awake daytimes." + +Still, all in all, he was a likeable young feller an' the' ain't no +doubt but what he saved us from bein' lonesome any more. He said 'at +this balloon had been exhibited in Los Angeles, an' he had got into +it just for fun; but the rope had parted an' he had been fifteen +hours on the way. It was only by luck 'at he had happened to have +his overcoat along. + +He had four or five newspapers, which he had tied around his feet to +keep 'em warm, but nare a library; so after we had lied our +imaginations sore for a week or so, we fell back on draw, settlin' +by checks at night. By a dazzling piece of luck Artie had his money +in the same New York bank 'at Miller had, so he could use our +checks, an' things began to brighten. Three of us were playin' for +real money, an' the other feller thought he was--it was genuine +poker, an' the stiffest game I ever sat in. + +Time didn't drag none now. Artie knew the game, an' it kept me in a +sweat to beat him. White chips was a hundred dollars apiece; but we +bet colored ones mostly, to keep from litterin' up the table. Spring +began to loosen up about the first of March, an' by that time Artie +owed me two million real dollars. Locals an' Hammy was into me for +close to a billion, but I didn't treasure their humble offerings +much, 'ceptin' as pipe-lighters. We was keyed up to a high pitch by +this time, an' was beginnin' to get thin and ringey about the eyes. +Artie from losin', me from longin' for the time to come when I +should start out to be a little Monte Cristo on my own hook, an' +Locals an' Hammy, from pityin' Artie an' envyin' me. + +On the twenty-fifth of March a wagon-load of grub an' four men came +out to get things started. I see 'em comin' up the grade, an' I +piked down an' told'em 'at I had landed a good thing, an' to just +treat me as the boss for a few days an' I'd make it all right with +'em. + +When Artie saw the new men he turned pale about the gills. He owed +me close to three millions, an' blame if I didn't feel a little +sorry for him. Still, I'd played fair all the while, an' I 'lowed +'at the Earl o' Clarenden could stand it, and I needed the money a +heap more'n some who might 'a' won it. + +When old Bill Sykes came in to report to me I was wearin' a plug hat +on the back o' my head an' sportin' a white vest an' a red necktie, +so I looked enough like the real thing to make it easy for him to +act his part. He came in an' blurted out, right while we was +boostin' up a jack-pot. "That'll do, me good man," sez I, "wait +until this hand is played." Bill, he took off his hat an' stood +humble until Artie had scooped in a hundred thousand dollars, an' +then I told Bill he might talk. + +"The watchman was found froze to death, Mr. Hawkins," sez Bill to me +mighty respectful, "an' your train waited until two relief parties +had been drove back by storms, an' then it pulled out for 'Frisco. +We are all ready to take charge here, an' as soon as you wish you +can drive down in the wagon an' telegraph for the train." + +Bill backed out bowin', an' we made plans to emigrate a little. I +promised Locals an' Hammy a generous rake-off, an' we fixed to have +a tol'able fair time as soon as I cashed in. + +Next mornin' I found a letter addressed to Mr. John Hawkins, Esq. +Artie wasn't around, but Locals an' Hammy was, so I opened the +letter an' read it. This here is the letter. It's one o' my greatest +treasures. + +"GENTLEMEN,--You have all treated me fine an' I hate to skin out +without saying good-bye but I have not the nerve. I have lied to you +all the time. I am not a real lord at all. My father was gardener at +Clarenden Castle an' I was under groom at St. James Court. When the +younger son came to this country, I came with him but left him an' +became a waiter in New York City. I went to an excursion to Long +Branch an' got to flirting with a widow just for pastime. She dogged +my life after that and my wife is something terrible so I took her +and came to Los Angeles. We was as happy as any one could be with a +wife like mine until the widow showed up. Then I stood between two +fires and either one of them was hell so I got into the balloon and +cut the rope expecting to drift over into Mexico. You are all rich +and will not need the money but I always play fair and I hate to +skin out this way; + +"yours truly "L. A. C. + +"P.S. It was all I could do to keep from helping with the work +'cause some of your cooking was rotten and you did not wash the +dishes clean but I knew if I worked you would not think me a real +lord. I hope some day I may be able to repay you for all your +kindness" + +I didn't say a word after I finished readin' the letter. I had +fallen too far to have any breath left for talkin'; but Hammy an' +Locals unbosomed their hearts something terrible. + +"A murrian on the filthy swine!" sez Hammy, after he began to quiet +down a little. "I would I had his treacherous throat within my +grasp, that I might squeeze his inky soul back to the lower depths +from whence he sprung." + +"Hush, you punkin headed peasant," sez I. "The' 's just as much of +Alfred's blood flowin' through his veins now as the' ever was." + +"'T is not the money I have lost that makes me mad," sez Locals. +"It's finding out that a man can become so degenerate that he will +impose upon the very ones who save his life--deceive them, lie to +them!" + +"Oh, he ain't the only liar 'at was ever in this hotel," sez I; "an' +when it comes to the money YOU'VE lost, that'd be a small matter to +get mad over. He risked just as much money as we did, an' if he'd +'a' won, he wouldn't 'a' won a cent more." + +After a while they grew more resigned in their langwidge; but after +we had driven down to town without finding him, Hammy sez, "In sooth +'t is bitter truth that all the world's a stage; yet Fate, however +cruel, never decreed that I should play the second season, as +servile server to a worn out mine--my health is all right again, an' +I'm goin' back where a feller gets paid decent wages for makin' a +fool of himself." + +Suddenly Locals gave a yell of joy and shouted, "My fortune's made! +I can take this thing and have a runaway boy and a lost orphan and a +rich uncle and a villanous cousin, and write the novel of the age +about it." + +"No, no!" sez Hammy, catchin' the excitement, "tragedy--make it a +tragedy. It is for the stage! Think of them lost without food and +the balloon coming into sight! Think of the scenic effects, the low +music as the orphan kneels in the middle of the stage and prays that +the balloon may bring them food; and then have the villanous cousin +in the balloon--" + +Well, they purt' nigh fought about it, and they were still at it +when I left them. The tingle of spring in the air made me wild to +get back to the range again. I thought of little Barbie and what a +great girl she must be by this time. I thought of the big-eyed +winter calves huggin' up to their mothers and wonderin' what it all +meant. I thought of old Mount Savage, and all of a sudden somethin' +seemed pullin' at my breast like a rope, an' I drew down my winter +wages, an' set out for the no'th, eager as a hound pup on his first +hunt. + + + + +CHAPTER ELEVEN + +DRESS REFORM AT THE DIAMOND DOT + + +I've heard it called Christian fortitude, an' I've heard it called +Injun stoickcism, an' I've heard it called bulldog grit; but it's a +handy thing to have, no matter what it is. I mean the thing that +keeps a feller good company when the' 's a hurtin' in his heart that +he never quite forgets. A little child away from home an' just sick +to go back, a man who has to grit his teeth an'--but no, the first +expresses the feelin' better--a child, homesick, but keepin' a stiff +upper lip; and it don't make much difference what the age, that's a +condition 'at nobody ever outgrows. + +Well, all the years I'd been away the' was a little empty sore spot +in my heart that I couldn't quite forget; but I never aired it none, +an' I don't believe I knew myself how big it was, until I left +Slocum's Luck behind me an' headed for the Diamond Dot. Then I +spread a grin on my face that nothin' wouldn't wipe off, an' I +stepped so high an' light that I was like a nervous man goin' +barefoot through a thistle patch. I was headed for home; an' even a +mule that gets dressed down regular with the neck-yoke gives a +little simmer of joy when he's headed toward home, while a dog,-- +well, a dog will just naturally joyful himself all over when the +trail doubles back on itself, an' a dog ain't no parlor loafer, +neither, if I'm any judge. + +Why, for two years I hadn't polished a saddle, an' I whistled like a +boy when I pictured to myself the feel of a hoss under me. The' 's +somethin' about feelin' a hoss's strength slide into your legs an' +up through your body that must be a good deal like the sensation a +saint enjoys the first fly he takes with his new wings. A little +pop-eyed drug merchant was out here on a tour oncet, an' he asked me +the usual list of blame-fool questions, about what we et an' where +we washed an' if it didn't make us ache to sleep on the hard ground, +an so on. When I had made answers to his queries accordin' to the +amount of information I thought it wise to load him with, he shakes +his head solemn like an' sez, "I do not see where you get any +compensation for such a life as this." + +"We don't get any compensation," sez I, "but look at all the hoss- +back ridin' we get to make up for it." + +An' there I was with the spring drippin' all about me, the plains +standin' beckonin' to me on every side, just coaxin' to be rode +over, an' me walkin' on foot with flat-heeled boots on! + +I had rode out on Sam Cutler's freighter to within' twenty miles o' +the ranch house, an' I built a little fire an' unrolled my blankets; +but I couldn't sleep. I just lay lookin' up at the stars an' tryin' +to imagine what Barbie looked like an' whether Starlight was still +at the ranch, an' every now an' again I tried to decide as to +whether I'd grin or he haughty when I first spied Jabez. I was some +anxious to come upon Barbie first. I knew she'd be glad to see me, +but I was rather leery about Jabez. He would 'a' welcomed a projical +son of his own as often as occasion offered, but he wasn't just the +sort of a man to be a public welcomer. I couldn't picture him +puttin' up a sign sayin', "Projical sons turn to the left. If +chicken is proferred to veal, shoot in the air twice when you get +within a mile of the house." + +But I was too much elated to worry much, an' along about one o'clock +I rolled up my blankets, kicked out my fire, an' started to drill. +When the sun rose I was in sight of the ranch house, an' the sun +seemed to throw an arm around my shoulder an' go skippin' along by +my side--an' I did skip now an' again. + +When I got about a mile from the house I came upon Jabez, walkin' +slow an' lookin' down-hearted. He hadn't changed a mite in the five +years--in fact from what I could see he hadn't even changed his +clothes; so for a moment I thought his sour look was the same ill +humor I'd left him in; an' then I saw it was more serious, an' my +heart stopped with a thump. + +He looked up just then an' we stared at each other without speakin'. +"Ain't you dead?" sez he. + +"No I ain't," sez I. + +"We heard you was," sez he; "killed in a muss over at Danders." + +"I don't believe it," sez I, "an' besides, I ain't been in Danders +for over seven years." + +"Well, then, what made you stay away so long for?" sez he, sort o' +snappy. + +"I don't remember you sheddin' any tears when I left, an' I don't +recall you beggin' me to hurry back," sez I. I was pleased at the +way I was bein' received an' I meant to make him show his hand. + +"You know as well as I do that things allus go better on this ranch +when you're here." + +"Yes," sez I. + +"An' you know 'at I don't like to beg no man to do anything; but you +ought to see that I know that you're the usefullest man I ever had, +an' you oughtn't to be so fly-uppity," sez he. + +"Now see here, Jabez," sez I, "you're one o' the kind o' men who +never own up 'at a man was fit to live until after he's dead. You're +like some o' these Easterners--they get so everlastin' entranced +with the beautiful scenery that they forget to water their ridin' +hosses. I don't ask no special favors, but I ain't so mortal thick- +skinned myself, an' you ought to learn sometime that there is hosses +'at work better when they're not beat up an' yelled at." + +"Are you goin' to stay this time?" sez he. + +"As long as it's agreeable--all around," sez I. "Is everything goin' +smooth?" + +The down-hearted look came into his eyes again. "She won't speak to +me," sez he. + +"You don't mean to say 'at you've gone an' got married," sez I, "or +that you are tryin' to?" + +"I ain't such a fool," he snaps. "It's Barbie, I mean." + +"How long has this been goin' on?" sez I. + +"This is the fourth meal," sez he; an' he was so solemn about it +that I was some inclined to snicker, but then it flashed upon me +that when I left, the child was all het up over the letter she'd +found in the attic, and I sobered an' sez, "Is it something 'at's +goin' to be hard to smooth over?" + +"I don't see how the deuce it's ever goin' to be smoothed over," sez +Jabez, desperately. + +"Would you feel like sort o' hintin' what it was about?" sez I. + +"Well, it's about the way she acts," sez Jabez. "Confound it, Happy, +she's the best gal child ever was on this earth, I reckon, but she +don't want to be one, an' she won't act like it, an' she--she won't +dress like it. Every time I argue with her she beats me to it, an' +I'm plumb stumped. Yesterday I told her she had to take 'em off an' +wear dresses, an' she did; but now she won't speak to me." + +"You mean that you said that she was never to argue with you again?" +sez I, indignant. + +"No, I mean that I sez she must take those confounded buckskin pants +off! She's big enough now to begin to train to become a woman--not a +man." + +I had to grin a little, but even though it didn't seem as skeptical +to me as it did to him, I saw he might be right about it. Still, I +wasn't goin' to take sides without hearin' all the evidence, so I +sez, "Is she healthy, Jabez?" + +"Healthy?" he sez. "Why, that child could winter through without +shelter an' come out in the spring kickin' up her heels an' +snortin'." + +"Well, that much is in her favor," sez I. "Is she good at her +studies?" + +"Where you been that you haven't heard about it?" sez he. "Last +winter she out-ciphered an' out-spelt the schoolmarm, an' she +fuddled up one o' these missionary preachers till he didn't know +where he was at. She has been studyin' about all kinds o' things, +an' she cornered him up on the first chapter o' Genesis. She lined +out the school-marm first, an' the schoolmarm came an' told me that +she was an infidel--the' ain't no sense in havin' women teach +school, Happy. You can't reason with 'em an' you can't fight with +'em an' they just about pester a body to death. I don't see how +Barbie stands it." + +"Well, what did you do about her bein' an infidel?" sez I. + +"I couldn't do anything to the teacher except tell her what I +thought of her; but next Sunday I had Barbie read to me the first +chapter o' Genesis. Did you ever read it, Happy?" + +"Yes," sez I, "I read all of that book an' most of the next one. Me +an' another feller had a dispute about the Bible one time, an' he +said it was the best readin' the' was, an' I said it was too dry. He +read me about a feller in it named Samson, who was full o' jokes an' +the strongest man ever was, I reckon, before he let that Philistine +woman loco him, an' he read about another feller, just a mite of a +boy, who killed a giant with a slingshot in front of an army which +had made fun of him an' was all ready to give in to the giant, an' +he read me some poems about mountains; an' I had to give in that the +Bible was the greatest book ever was. That was up at a little ranch +in Idaho, an' he was goin' to read it all to me an' explain what it +meant,--he was full edicated, this feller was, an' had a voice as +soft as a far-off bell, an' an eye that seemed to reach right out +an' shake hands with ya,--but one day when I was away a posse +surprised him, an' though he potted two of 'em they finally put him +out. He left me his Bible with a note in it which said that he had +killed the man all right an' that he would do it again under the +circumstances; but he couldn't tell a word in his own defense 'count +of mixin' in a woman. We never found out a word about it, not even +where the posse came from. Well, afterward I tried to read it alone; +but I couldn't make any headway. For one thing, the' 's too many +pedigrees to keep track of, an' the names are simply awful. I don't +want to be profane nor nothin', but hanged if I think the Children +of Israel was square enough to deserve all the heavenly favors they +got; so I finally gave up tryin' to read it. But what about you an' +Barbie?" + +"Well," sez he, "I'd read the Bible clean through from cover to +cover an' I never saw anything unreasonable in it, so I thought I +could set Barbie right without any trouble. She read the first +chapter, an' by that time I was runnin' for cover an' yellin' for +help. The' ought to be something done about that book, it ain't +right to try an' raise a child to be honest, an' tell 'em that they +must believe the Bible, an' then have 'em find out what the Bible +really sez." + +"Well, what about it?" sez I. + +"Well, it sez that the' was light an' darkness an' evenin' an' +mornin' on the first day; on the third day the' was all kinds o' +grass an' herbs yieldin' seeds, an' fruit trees yieldin' fruit; but +the' wasn't no sun or stars until the fourth day. Now how could you +have evenings an' mornings an' grass an' fruit trees without +sunshine? You know that wouldn't work, an' when she put it up to me +I simply threw up my hands, an' sent Spider Kelley with the +buckboard to hunt up this missionary preacher. He was long-haired +an' pius, an' when I saw him I felt purty sure he could straighten +it out; but he wasn't game. Barbie argued fair an' square, an' he +lost his temper an' called her an infidel an' a heretic an' a +nagnostic; but she pulled a lot o' books on him, an' he couldn't +uniderstand 'em an' blasphemed 'em something terrible; but he see he +was whipped, an' just simply ran away. I felt mighty bad about +Barbie bein' an infidel until Friar Tuck came around. You remember +Friar Tuck--the one they call an Episcolopian?" Course I remembered +Friar Tuck. Everybody knew him an' he was about as easy to forget as +a stiff neck--though for different reasons. Preachers are about as +different as other humans to begin with, but the women seem more +unanimously bent on spoilin' 'em; so as a general rule I wade in +purty careful when I 'm startin' an acquaintance with a strange one, +but I did know that this here one was all to the right, an' his time +belonged to any one who demanded it. This made him purty wearin' on +hosses, an' when one would give out on him he'd just turn it loose +an' rope another 'thout makin' any preliminary about it; all the +explanation a body got was just seein' a tired, stray pony eatin' +grass. The first time he tried that game they gathered up a posse +an' ran him down; but he pulled a Bible on 'em showin' where he got +his commission from, threw a sermon into 'em 'at converted two an' +made one other sign the pledge, an' that put an end to any +unsolicited interference in his line o' work. He was a big man with +two right hands, an' some one gave him the name of Friar Tuck out of +a book, an' he was known by it the whole country over. + +I nodded my head: "Did the Friar get fainty about Barbie bein' a +heretic?" sez I. + +"No, he didn't," sez Jabez, "he just laughed when I told him about +it, an' he an' Barbie, they wrangled over it for a long time; but he +played fair. When he didn't know the answer he owned up to it, an' +then he told her that the Bible was written by a lot of different +men, an' that the spirit of it was inspired; but that the' wasn't +any words ever invented that could describe creation; because the +origin of life was a thing 'at man wasn't wise enough to comprehend, +an' that all the scientific books ever written couldn't come any +nearer to it than that first chapter of Genesis, which had been +written ages ago when the old Earth was still in its childhood." + +"How did Barbie get around this?" sez I. + +"Well, she didn't have much to say; he didn't climb up on a perch +an' call her names, he just sat there by her side like they was both +children together; an' then he took some of her books an' explained +things she didn't understand an' pointed out things 'at other +scientists didn't believe in, an' he actually said 'at he believed +that after they had examined the earth all over, inside an' out with +a magnifyin' glass, every last scientist the' was would be willin' +to admit that it must have been created some way or another; and +that we'd all be the better for the work these scientists was doin', +but that she mustn't confuse the word with the spirit, for it was +the spirit which giveth life. He's an A I man, Friar Tuck is; but +when I offered him twice as much a year as he's gettin' to stay an' +teach her, he just laughed again, an' said that I wasn't in no +position to double the kind o' wages he was workin' for. I was a +little put out at this, but Barbie said he was talkin' in parables." + +"Was she wearin' the buckskin pants when he was here?" sez I. + +"Yes, she was, an' I didn't much like the way he acted about that. +At first he thought she was a boy, an' it made me hot; but he sez to +me, 'Didn't God create man first?' I owned up that he did. 'Well, +then,' said he, `let this child develop the man side of her first, +so that she may have strength an' courage for all her journey.' +Everything that man sez has the ring o' truth in it, an' I didn't +have much of a come-back, except to say that she was overdoing it. +He called Barbie over to him an' looked into her eyes an' put his +big hand on her head an' afterward he sez to me, `You needn't worry; +soon enough a soul which is all woman will stand before you and ask +questions which will make you long for these days back again. Give +her all the time she will take,'" + +"What else did he say?" sez I. + +"Well, he asked me if I had ever noticed a litter of pups. I said I +had, and he wanted to know if the' was much difference in the way +they played. I owned up that the' wasn't. Then he looked sort o' +worried an' asked me if I had ever found any of 'em to get their sex +mixed up bad enough to have the tangle last through life. I had to +admit that I never had, an' he laughed at me good an' proper--but +his laughs never hurt. I didn't mind about her wearin' the buckskins +after that so much." + +"Well, then, what made you rear up about 'em yesterday?" sez I. + +"I hired a new man when she was out ridin',--day before yesterday it +was,--an' when she came in he thought she was a boy an' kind o' got +gay, an' she panned him out; an' he cussed her an' she drew a gun on +him an' made him take it back, an' he might o' taken some spite out +on her before he found out she was a girl. She is too sizey now, an' +confound it, leggin's an' a short skirt ought to satisfy any female- +-but now she won't speak to me, an' I can't go back on my order, so +I don't see how we're goin' to straighten it out." + +I pertended to be mad. "Jabez," I sez, "I do wish I could come back +to this ranch just once an' find it runnin' smooth. Here I come all +the way from Nevada just to see it once again, an' I find the boss +an' his daughter ain't on speakin' terms, an' I have to stand +palaverin' for a solid hour without anything bein' asked about my +appetite, an' me just finishin' a twenty-mile walk." + +"By George, I'm sorry!" sez Jabez. "But hang it, Happy, you ought to +savvy this place well enough by this time to know 'at no human ever +has to set up an' beg for food. I'm glad to see you 'cause the +little girl does set a heap by you, an' you seem to have a way o' +straightenin' out the kinks. While you're eatin' breakfast see if +you can't think up some way to get her to talkin' again." We started +to walk to the house, an' I sez, "just what was your orders about +these buckskins?" + +"I told her to take 'em off at once an' throw 'em out the window, +sez he. + +"Did she do it?" sez I. + +"She allus obeys orders when she drives me to issue 'em--but I allus +get a sting out of it, some way or other. This time I issued the +order at the supper table, an' she went upstairs to her room, +stuffed the suit full o' pillows, stood in the window, an' screamed +until me an' the boys ran out to see what was the matter. Then she +threw the figger out an' we thought she had jumped, an' I made a +fool o' myself. It's playin' with fire every time you cross her, but +she allus obeys orders. Still, it's tarnation hard to be her father- +-not that I'd trade the job for any other in the country, at that." + +I had to chuckle inward all the way to the housc, an' just before we +arrived to it I purt' nigh exploded. Here come a figger, heavily +veiled an' wearin' a shapeless sort of a dress affair made out of a +bedquilt an' draggin' behind on the ground. It walked along slow an' +diginfied, like some sort of a heathen ghost, an' when it came to a +pebble in the path it would walk around it an' not step over, all +the time holdin' a hand lookin' glass to see that her toe didn't +show. I just took one side-eye at Jabez an' his face looked like a +storm cioud at a picnic; but when Barbie see who I was she tore off +the veil, gathered up her skirts, an' yelled, "Happy! Happy Hawkins, +is it really you? " + +"I'm ready to take my oath on it, madame," sez I, not Cracktn' a +smile; "but if I might make so bold, who are you?" + +"Oh, Happy, we thought you was dead," said she, with a little catch +in her voice that made me wink a time or two. "Where have you been +all these years, an' why didn't you come back to us?" + +She stood lookin' into my eyes, half tender an' half cross, an' I +couldn't help but try her out to see which would win. "I didn't know +for sure that I'd be welcome," sez I. + +"Oh. Happy!" she sez; an' she threw her arms around my neck an' +kissed me, an' then we went in to breakfast. I answered her +questions between bites, an' as soon as we'd finished I proposed +we'd go for a ride. "I haven't crossed a saddle for two years," sez +I. "Is Starlight here yet?" + +"Well I should say he is, and fat an' bossy," sez she. "The' hasn't +airy another body but me rode him neither. I divide my ridin' +between him an' Hawkins, just ridin' a colt now an' again to keep +from gettin' careless." Then she stopped an' looked down at the +thing she was wearin' an' said, sadly, "But I reckon my ridin' days +are over." + +"Alas, yes," sez I, usin' Hammy's most solemn voice, "Old Age has +set his seal upon your brow, an' I can see you sitting knitting by +the fire for your few remainin' days." + +"Where did you learn to talk that way?" sez she, quick as a wink. So +I told her of my winter at Slocum's Luck, an' she asked me a million +questions about Hammy an' Locals. When I was through she sat silent +for a while an' then she sez, "Happy, I'm goin' to see more o' the +world than just this ranch some day." + +"Well, the' ain't much of it that's a whole lot better--an' I've +seen it about all," sez I. + +"You seen it about all?" sez she, scornful; "why, you haven't seen +the inside of one real house." + +I glanced around, but she snaps in, "This ain't a house, this is +just shelter from the elements. I'm goin' to see mansions an' +palaces, an' I'm goin' to see 'em from the inside too." + +"Have you ever read Monte Cristo?" sez I. + +"No," sez she. + +"Then don't you do it," sez I. "Your head's about as far turned now +as your neck'll stand, an' what you ought to do is to learn how to +cook an' sew." + +She looked at me with her eyes snappin', but in a second her face +broke into a grin. "The' ain't a mite o' use in your tryin' that," +sez she. "You like me just as I am, an' you don't need to feel it's +your duty to work in any that teacher stuff. Gee, but I'm glad you +came back It looks as if me an' Dad is in for a long siege of it +this time, an' you'll keep me from gettin' lonesome." + +"Not the right answer," sez I. "I'm goin' to leave tomorrow." + +Her face grew long in a minute, when she see I meant it. "Happy--you +don't really mean that, do you?" + +"Barbie," I sez, "I had to leave before, or take sides. Well, you +an' the boss are warrin' again; I can't fight you, an' I won't side +again him. You don't leave me any choice--I just have to go away +again." + +"Oh, I don't want you to go away again," she sez. "You allus find +more in things than the rest of 'em ever do, an' I want you to tell +me all about those two queer men you spent the winter with, an' to +teach me just the way the one you call Hammy used his voice. Happy, +you just can't go away again." + +"I don't want to go away again," sez I, an' I was down-right in +earnest by this time, "but you make me. Barbie, you are hard- +hearted. You know that your father thinks the world of you--" + +"He don't think one speck more of me than I do of him," she snaps +in. + +"Yes, but he's different," I sez. "He's your father, an' he has to +guide and correct you." + +"Well, he don't have to throw in my teeth that I'm a girl every tine +I want to do anything." + +I'm disappointed in you," I sez to her in a hard voice. "I thought +that you would be game, but you're not." + +"What ain't I game about?" sez she. + +"You're ashamed of bein' a girl," sez I. + +"I ain't," sez she. "I'm glad I'm a girl, an' I want to tell you +that the' 's been just about as many heroines as heros too. I don't +mean just these patient women who put up with things; I mean +heroines in history. Look at Joan of Arc!" + +"I never heard of her before," sez I, "but I reckon she must have +been Noah's wife." She breaks in an' tells me the story of the +French farm girl who got to be the leader of an army and whipped the +king of England an' was finally burned; an' then, naturally, became +a heroine an' a saint. + +"She didn't wear boys clothes, did she?" I sez, thinkin' I had her. + +"Yes, she did!" sez Barbie. + +"Well, she ought to be ashamed of herself," I said; but I knew I was +gettin' the worst of it, so I changes the sub-ject. "But speakin' +about the Ark," sez I, "there's another example of your obstinacy. +When I went away from here you was fussin' with the school-teachers +because they said this whole earth was once under water, an' now I +find you cuttin' around an' linin' out missionary-preachers because +you ain't suited with the way the Bible was wrote. It looks to me as +if you ought to get old enough sometime to realize 'at you ain't +nothin' but a child. Your father is willin' to give you a fair show; +he don't ask you to act like a girl, all he wants is for you to look +like one." + +"If I have to wear a skirt, you know mighty well I can't ride," sez +she. + +"You don't have to wear a thing like what you have on now," I sez. +"Why don't you get over your pout an' be sensible. He never asks you +to humble yourself. All you need is to do what he wants, an' he'll +drop it at once." + +"Yes," sez she, "all I need to do is to give up my independence an' +he'll think I'm a nice little girl." + +"Why don't you figger out some kind of a dress that would look like +a girl's and--and work like a boy's?" sez I. + +She sat thinkin' for a minute an' then sez, "That wouldn't be a +complete surrender, that would only be a compromise; an' I'd be +mighty glad to do it if the' was only some way." + +"Where's that picture of the girl who whipped the king?" sez I. + +She ran an' got it, an' it was a dandy lookin' girl all right,--it +looked a little mite like Barbie herself,--but she was wearin' +clothes 'at most folks would think undesirable; they was made out of +iron an' covered with cloth. + +"You don't want to wear any such thing as that, Barbie," sez I, "it +would be too blame hot, an' that bedquilt thing's bad enough." + +"That's what they used to fight in," sez she. + +"They must 'a' been blame poor shots," sez I. "Why, I could shoot +'em through those eye-holes as fast as they came up, an' she don't +even wear any head part with hers." Then an idea struck me: "But why +don't you make a suit like her outside one?" sez I. "It comes below +her knees an' yet she can ride in it all right." + +Well, we got old Melisse to help us, an' by four o'clock the thing +was done. We had used up some dark-green flannel that Jabez had +bought to have a dress made of, an' which she had kicked on. She +took it up to her room an' I went out to find Jabez. I told him that +she was always willin' to give in when any honorable way was pointed +out, an' he was the tickledest man in the West. He went in to supper +four times before it was ready, but when it finally was ready Barbie +wouldn't come down. + +Melisse went after her an' come back sayin' that Barbie didn't feel +hungrv an' was goin' to wait until after dark an' then wear it +outdoors. + +"What nonsense!" sez Jabez. "Here she's been wearin' regular +buckskin pants, an' now she fusses up about what you say is a half +dress. You go an' get her." + +I went to the head of the stairs an' called her, an' she finally +stuck her head out of her room an' sez, "Happy, I just can't wear +this thing. It flaps!" + +"Let it flap!" sez I. "You're just like a colt gettin' used to a +single-tree; you won't mind it after the first hour. Let me see how +it looks." + +She opens the door an' stands with a queer new look on her face, an' +her cheeks pink as wild roses. I hadn't never seen those cheeks pink +up for anything but fun or anger before, an' it flashed upon me what +Friar Tuck had told Jabez; an' I was willin' to bet that the time +would come when he'd have full as much girl on his hands as any one +man could wish. + +The waist part of it was loose an' low in the neck an' came to a +little below the knees where the leggin's began. The upper part of +the leggin's which you couldn't see were loose an' easy. Her little +legs looked cute an' shapely, an' her smooth, round throat came up +from the open neck mighty winnin'--the whole thing was just right +an' I sez to her, "Why, Barbie, this is the finest rig you ever had +on, an' you're as purty as a picture." + +Well, her face went the color of a sunset an' she slammed the door. +"If I was your Dad," sez I to myself, "you'd go back to those +buckskins to-morrow." I waited a moment an' then I began to make fun +of her, and after a while she came out with her teeth set tight +together an' we went down to the dinin' room; but it was the first +time I had ever seen her take an awkward step. + +"Now that's what I call a sensible garment," sez Jabez, heartily, +an' then he begun talkin' to me. Jabez had a lot o' wisdom when he +kept his head, an' by the time supper was over Barbie was purty well +used to the feel, an' we all three went for a ride; me ridin' +Starlight, Barbie, Hawkins, an' Jabez a strappin' bay, one of +Pluto's colts, an' a beauty. Well, I'll never forget that ride: you +know how tobacco tastes after a man owns up that he was only jokin' +when he swore off; you know how liquor seems to ooz all through you +after you've been out in the alkali for three months--well, that +first ride, after bein' out o' commission for two years, makes these +two sensations something like the affection a man has for sour-dough +bread. Oh, it was glorious! we all felt like a flock o' birds-- +hosses an' all. In the first place it was spring, an' that was +excuse enough if the' hadn't been any other; but two of us had gone +into that day not on speakin' terms, an' now they were closer than +ever, an' the third one had brought 'em together. The old sayin' is +that three's a crowd, but it took a crowd to hold all the joyfulness +that we was luggin' that night, an' it was ten o'clock before we +turned around on the velvet carpet an' came swingin' back to the +house. + +We had to finish with a little race, an' I was rejoiced to see that +old Starlight hadn't become a back number, even though the bay colt +did make it a mighty close finish. + +As soon as we unsaddled, Barbie sort o' whispered to me, "I 'm awful +glad you came back, Happy"; an' then she ran into the house. + +Jabez shook hands an' sez, "It seems to me, Happy, that I've been +waitin' for you for months. I hope to goodness you don't fly up any +more." "I ain't goin' to look for trouble Jabez" sez I "This spot is +the most homelike to me of any on earth; but I don't believe I'll +turn in yet. I want to stroll around a little." + +I walked off in the quiet to the little mound where Monody lay, an' +I sat there a long while, thinkin' o' the last time I'd come back. +The night was unusual warm, an' I hunted up all the stars that I +knew, an' watched 'em as they dropped down one by one behind the +mountains. I thought of all that Friar Tuck had said about the +origin of life, an' what a nerve a child like Barbie had to even +study on such a subject. Then I dropped back to all the happiness +I'd had that day, an' the last thing I knew I was lookin' into +Barbie's eyes an' wonderin' what made her face so pink. It was the +cold, gray dawn-wind that woke me up. + + + + +CHAPTER TWELVE + +THE LASSOO DUEL + + +That was a summer I love to think over; but the' wasn't nothin' +happened to tell about. I was a little soft at first, but it didn't +take me long to get my hand in, an' I roped my half o' the winter +calves. It had been a mild winter an' the' was a big run of 'em, an' +Jabez was in a good humor most o' the time. + +The men mostly liked Jabez; but they used to talk a lot about him, +as he was some different from the usual run. He had first come into +that locality when Barbie was two years old, buyin' the big Sembrick +ranch an' stockin' it up to the limit. Ye never said a word about +his wife, nor his past; an' Jabez wasn't just the sort of character +a man felt like pryin' private history out of. + +The men laughed a good bit about the time Jabez had had with the +Spike Crick school. He had a fool notion that money was entitled to +do all the talkin', an' that's a hard position to make good in a new +country. After his money had built the schoolhouse, they refused to +elect him one o' the trustees; said it might lead to one-man +control. Still, Jabez wasn't no blind worshiper of the law, an' when +he found that they'd put a rope on him, he just sidles in an' +asserts himself. It was easy enough to convince a teacher that the +trustees was boss; but when Jabez began to get impatient, the +school-teacher generally emigrated a little. Then they put a cinch +on him for true. They hired a woman teacher. When it came to +bluffin' a woman teacher, Jabez got tongue-handled so bad that once +did him for all time to come. + +But the' wasn't any difference of opinion when it came to Barbie. +The' wasn't a man on the place who wasn't willin' to stretch a neck +for her. She knew 'em all by name an' used to tease 'em an' +contrairy 'em; but she never hid behind bein' the boss's daughter. +Any time they scored, she paid, an' that was the thing that made 'em +worship her. She had changed a lot in the five years I'd been away; +not only in size, in fact, that was the least noticed in her; but +she had more thinkin' spells. + +It used to be that she made up to every one right from the start; +but now she was a little shy at first, especially with Easterners. +Easterners generally are about as tantalizin' as it's possible for a +human to get, but she had never minded 'em much until this summer. +Now she'd answer the first twenty-five or thirty fool questions +polite enough, but after that she got purty frosty an' would ask 'em +some questions herself that would straighten 'em up right short in +their tracks. About every time an Easterner would pull out I noticed +that she'd put a little wider heal on the bottom of her skirt. + +But she was purty much the same with me, an' after the spring round- +up she used to keep me ridin' with her most o' the time when the' +wasn't anything actually demandin' my attention. It was just about +this time that Jabez hired a new man by the name of Bill Andrews. He +was about as near speak-less as a man ever gets, an' he wasn't much +liked by the rest of us; but be was a hard worker an' a good, all- +around hand, so he got along all right. + +When the fall round-up came, Barbie surprised every one by sayin' +she wasn't goin' to do any of the ridin', but would wait until after +we'd got all the sortin' out an' brandin' done, an' would then come +out an' see the whole herd in a bunch. The' wasn't a thing the +matter with her health an' we all wondered what was her reason; but +I had my own private opinion--she was beginnin' to find out she was +a girl, an' she wasn't quite used to it. + +We finally rounded up in the big bend of Spike Crick, an' the stuff +was in the suet, every one of 'em. Omaha was supposed to be straw +boss; but he was too easy-goin' an' generally let the men do about +as they pleased. Bill Andrews, the new man, had a sneer on his face +about half the time, an' one mornin' when I came in from night +ridin', he sez to a bunch o' the boys: "I didn't suppose the parlor +boarder ever risked any night dampness." + +They all grinned, 'cause the' wasn't any jokes barred with us; but I +didn't grin. I walked over to the group an' I sez: "Is the' anybody +else in this outfit that has any o' that brand o' supposin' about +'im?" + +"Aw sit down, Happy," they sez; an' "What's the matter, Happy; you +gettin' tender?" an' such like things; but Bill Andrews continued to +sit an' grin, so I sez to him: "As a rule, the last comer in an +outfit has sense enough to either use his eyes or ask questions. I +admit that this is a purty easy-goin' place,--they don't even ask +where a man comes from when they take him on,--but I've been here +off an' on for some time, an' I reckon that the boss is able to +figger out whether or not I've been worth what I cost." + +"Yes," sez Andrews, slow an' drawly, "the boss--or his daughter." + +Three o' the boys grabbed me, but Andrews never moved; so I let go +of my gun an' sez, "It seems 'at you're the kind of a hound 'at +picks out a safe time to snarl--but the' 'll be other times." + +"Any time you wish," sez he, "but I didn't mean what you seem to +think. I know well enough 'at the' 'll never be nothin' between you +an' her--the old man knows it too, an' you ain't kept here for +nothin' except to be her play-mate." + +I was so blame mad I couldn't see. I couldn't speak. I was so +infernal het up that I choked an' spluttered; but when I got my +hands on his throat I put my finger-prints on his neck-bone. The +boys had a hard time tearin' us apart, an' a heap harder time +startin' Andrews goin' again; but as soon as he was able to talk, I +sez to him, "Now we ain't through with this yet. I'm willin' to give +you your choice of settlements, but you sure have to settle some +way. How do you want to settle?" + +He had black blood--an' he was a coward. It's the hardest mix-up a +man ever has to deal with. He jumped to his feet, his face all +twisted up in a wolf-snarl, but he couldn't look me in the eyes, an' +he finally tries to smile. Its a weak, sickly affair, but it is a +smile all right, an' he sez, "We'll just compete to see which is the +best man at a round-up, an' we'll settle it that way. The' ain't no +use of us makin' fools of ourselves over nothin' at all. I was just +jokin' an' I didn't think you'd be so blame pernicious about boldin' +down an easy snap; so as the' ain't really nothin' between us, we'll +settle it that way." + +I had been doin' some quick thinkin' while he was talkin', an' when +he finished, I broke out laughin', "Why, you blame rookie," sez I, +"you don't really think I was mad, do you? I see 'at you was only +jokin' right from the start, but I wanted to do a little play-actin' +for the boys here. That'll be the best way of all to settle it--see +who's the best man at a round-up." + +He looked some relieved when he laughed--an' then he rubbed his +neck. I indulged in some hoss-play with Omaha, an' began to eat my +breakfast; but all the time I was thinkin'. I was thinkin' several +different ways too: first, was the' some truth in what Bill Andrews +had said--was I gettin' to be nothin' but the playmate of a girl? +Then I wondered if Jabez had studied over it any--I never had myself +before. I knew that he never cared nothin' about my wages, knowin' +that I had saved him more the night I brought Monody back than he'd +ever pay me--but I didn't want to be pensioned, an' I didn't care to +be looked on as the ranch watchdog. But the thing that finally came +an' refused to leave was a question--what right did I have to waste +the best part of my life loafin' around with a child? The' was a lot +more o' these pesterin' questions; but they all finally perched on +Bill Andrews an' made me want to blow him up with dynamite. + +That was the swiftest round-up ever the Diamond Dot had. Bill +Andrews was a roper for true, an' I don't believe the' was a man in +the West 'at could touch me those days. When me an' Barbie would be +out ridin' I was always practicin' with a rope or a gun, an' I had a +dozen foller-up throws 'at I've never seen beat. I did my work +cleaner an' more showy'n he did, but it couldn't be done much +quicker. We finished three days ahead of the schedule an' the boys +said it was a tie. I had roped twenty-six more calves'n he had, but +they wanted to see us contest a little more, an' they figgered out +excuses for him. The' ain't nothin' ever satisfies a civilized human +except a finish fight. He don't care a hang for points. + +Well, we did all kinds o' fancy ropin', an' I was a shade the better +at all of it; but those confounded cusses kept on claimin' it was a +tic until I got het up a little, an' sez 'at we'll have a lassoo +duel an' that'll settle it, even among blind men. This ain't all +amusement, this lassoo-duel on hoss-back, an' I see Andrews look +wickedly content. "Nothing barred," sez he; "we rope hoss or rider, +either one." + +"Sure thing," sez I. I don't know to this day whether or not he +really thought I was green, but anyhow, he thought he had me at this +game, an' I saw in a moment 'at he had trained his pony; but he +didn't have any advantage over me. I was ridin' Hawkins, an' he had +been dodgin' ropes all his life an' liked the sport. We fenced for +an hour without bein' able to land, an' then he gets his noose over +Hawkins' neck. Before he can draw it tight I rides straight at him; +his pony has settled back for a jerk; I gets my noose over the +pony's neck, a loop over Andrew's right wrist, when he tries to ward +it off his own neck, an' then another loop over his shoulders, +pinnin' the left arm an' the right wrist to his body. My rope was +the shorter now so I sets Hawkins back an' takes a strain. I knew +what was goin' to happen when that. rope tightened--he would be +twisted out of the saddle an' his right arm dislocated--an' he knew +it too; an' he knew that I was goin' to do it. The boys was as +silent as the ace o'clubs. + +His face went pale an' he looked at me with beggin' eyes, but mine +was hard as stone. I hated him for all the devil-thoughts he had put +into my head, an' I wanted to see him twisted an' torn. Then I just +happened to see two riders comin' in from toward the ranch house. I +knew by instinct it was Jabez an' Barbie, an' just as Andrews +started to twist in the saddle I touched Hawkins with the spurs, +rode up to him, threw off the loops, put a smile on my face--an' +shook hands with Bill Andrews, while all the boys give a cheer. I +was pantin' an' tremblin', but I don't think it was noticed, as I +kept that smile as easy-goin' an' good-natured as a floatin' cork. + +Well, I kidded with the boys until Jabez got through decidin' on +what he wanted done with the different bunches, an' then when he an' +Barbie rode back to the house I went along. I made sure to brazen it +out as much as possible, an' not to give the impression that I was +as het up as I had been; but I knew that Bill Andrews was well aware +of what had saved him. I also knew that he'd hate me to the day of +his death--but he'd fear me to the last minute, an' he'd never start +but one more contest. + +The Diamond Dot didn't seem so homelike after that; it was a heap +easier to get the best of Bill Andrews than it was to get rid of +those questions; but I tried to act just as much the same as +possible, only I did as much range ridin' as I could make seem +natural. I supposed that Bill Andrews would leave, but he didn't; he +stayed right along an' he worked hard an' he never kicked. He was +allus friendly with me, but he didn't overdo it, an' things went +along smooth as joint oil. + +Barbie had gone through all the stuff they taught at the Spike Crick +School, an' was studyin' some advance stuff with the teacher who was +ambitious to finish her own edication. This was a big surprise to +me; I had allus supposed that a teacher knew everything, but it +seems not. The' 's lots they don't know, an' the front they put up +before a pupil is two thirds bluff. A naked body's a disappointin' +sight, but I bet a naked soul would make a crow laugh. + +All through that winter I was tryin' to find an excuse to quarrel +with Jabez, but the' wasn't none. The' wasn't one hitch in the whole +outfit except that I'd lost my taste for it. I couldn't get it out +of my head that one man had already taken me for a child's playmate, +an' while I knew that this particular man had other views by this +time, I didn't know how long it would be before some one else would +find that same idea gettin' too big to keep under his breath; so the +very second that spring opened I hunted up Jabez one mornin' after I +had given old Pluto a special good rubbin', an' after talkin' a +while about nothin' at all, I sez to him, "Jabez, I'm goin' to pull +out purty soon." + +"What for?" sez he. + +The' ain't no chance on this place for a man to get on," I sez. +"What do you want to get on for?" Sez he. Well, that was a fetcher. +The great trouble in debatin' with a man is, that he never flushes +up the kind of an idea 'at your gun is loaded to shoot. "What does +any one want to get on for?" sez I. + +"I don't know," sez Jabez, kind o' sad like. "It's been so long +since I wanted to get on that I can't remember what fool notion it +was that sicked me at it; but it looks to me as though you was doing +purty well, considerin' the way you work." + +There it was again. It was just for all the world as if the watchdog +had gone on a strike for higher wages. "Well, you're right about +that," sez I. "If I owned a place like this, I wouldn't board a man +who didn't do more than I do. That's one reason why I'm goin' to +travel on a little--I 'm gettin' so rusty that the creakin' o' my +joints sets my teeth on edge." + +"Poor old man," sez Jabez, sarcastic. "I saw you vaultin' over Pluto +this mornin'. You'd better be careful, you're liable to snap some o' +your brittle bones. I'll have to put you on a pension." + +"Pension bell!" I snaps. "I've been pensioned too long already. The' +ain't any chance for a man with get-up, over a low grade coffee- +cooler on this place, an' I 'm sick of it. I'm goin' to hunt up a +job where it will pay me to do my best." + +"How much pay do you want, for heaven's sake?" sez he. + +"I don't want any more pay for what I 'm doin'," sez I, "but I do +want more opportunity. You don't keep any out an' out foreman here +an'--" + +"An' it wouldn't make any difference if I did," he snaps in. "It's +allus best to get an imported foreman, an' not have any jealousy; +but confound you, I pay six men on this place foremen's wages--an' +you're one of 'em." + +"Six?" sez I. + +"Yes, I raised Bill Andrews' pay last week. He does more work than +any of you, all' he ain't all the time growlin'. He won't never have +any friends either, so if I was to choose a foreman he'd be my +pick." "I was foreman of the Lion Head a good many years ago," sez +I, "an' I built it up, an' my work was appreciated: but I was a fool +kid then. Now I 'm gettin' along ill years an' I don't intend to +waste any more o' my life." + +"How old are ya, Happy?" sez he, laughin'. + +"Well, I'll be thirty years old--before so many more years," sez I, +lookin' full as indignant as I felt, I reckon. "You're nothin' but a +kid in most things," sez Jabez, an' his voice was so friendly that I +began to cool. Then he said, "Why, I never think of you like I do +the rest o' the boys, though I rely on you a heap more. You've allus +been like one o' the family, like; an' you an' Barbie have played +around together until most o' the time I think of ya as about the +same age; but if it's anything in the money line, why speak out. I +was a young feller myself once, an' if you've happened to run up any +debts on some o' your town trips, why I'll pass you over a little +extra an' take it out in laughin' at you." + +By George, he made it hard for me. One moment he'd tramp on my corn +an' the next he'd scratch me between the shoulders; but the more he +said the more I see that I did not have any regular place in the +team; I was just a colt playin; beside, an' it gritten on me +something fierce. + +"Jabez," I sez, "it's hard for me to explain myself. I like this +place an' you know it; but if you had a son o' your own, you +wouldn't like to see him settlin' down before he'd struggled up a +little. I'm old enough now to take a practical view o' life, an' I +intend to become a business man." + +He tried not to grin, I'll say that for him, but he couldn't cut it. +"Why, bless your heart, boy, you never will be practical, an' as for +business, you have about the same talent for it as a grizzly bear. +You enjoy life as you go along, an' you enjoy it full an' free; a +business man don't enjoy anything but makin' money. You may be rich +some day, but it won't be from attendin' to business. Now take a +lay-off if you want to, an' get this nonsense out of your system, +then come back here. You know 'at Barbie misses you every minute +you're away." + +"All right," I sez, "I'll try it. I want to leave this place once, +the same as if we was both grownup, not as if we had had a child's +quarrel. I'll go an' I'll take my lay-off by bucklin' tight down to +business; but if it don't seem to agree with me, why, I'll come back +here an' make a report." + +"Now, don't stay away long, cause the little girl is lonesome for +company, an' as she sez to me the other night, you're better company +than any book, an' you've got more intelligence than a school- +teacher." + +"Yes," I went on, "an' I don't require beatin' as often as a fur +rug, an' my hair don't shed off as bad as a dog's, an' if I could +just forget that I 'm a human bein' I wouldn't be any more bother +than the rest o' the furnishings; but that is the one thing that 's +on my mind just now--I 'm a man, an' it's time I began to practice +at it." + +Barbie wasn't quite so easy to get away from as Jabez was. She +couldn't believe but what we'd been quarrelin'. When you came right +down to givin' the actual reason for my departure without mentionin' +any o' the true cause, it was a rather delicate project for a man +who hadn't no experience in makin' political speeches: an' Barbie +gave me a purty complete goin' over. + +We talked it out for a week, but my mind was made up to go an' the' +wasn't anything that could stop me, unless it was mighty important; +an' at last she stopped arguin' an' just began to look sorry. That +was hardest of all. + +"Happy," she sez to me one night when we was ridin' back from Look +Out, "don't you think I'm old enough now to ask Dad about what that +letter meant?" + +I turned an' looked at her; the sun was just about to duck behind +the ridge, an' her face was in all its brightness. It was a lot +different face from that of the child who had asked the question so +long ago. It was serious with its question, an' it looked like the +face of a woman. This was the first time she had mentioned the +subject since I'd been back, an' I hadn't thought she dwelt on it +any more; but I saw now that it lay close up to her heart, an' was +the one thing she never could ride away from. "I'm purt' nigh +fifteen," she went on. "Fifteen is a goodly age," I sez, but not +sarcastic. I was thinkin' of Jabez an' myself that mornin', an' +wonderin' if age cut so much figger after all. "Do you an' your dad +ever talk about your mother any more?" I asked her. + +"Not much," she said. "When one wants to know all, and one don't +want to tell any, the' ain't much satisfaction in talkin' about-- +about even your own mother. Don't you still miss your mother?" + +"Well, I wouldn't like to tell everybody," sez I, "but I sure do. +Why, if the' was any way on earth that I could go back to her, I'd +sure go--this very minute." + +"At least you know about her. If I just knew about my mother it +might be all right. You can't seem to get close to even a mother +when you don't know a single thing about her. If you know people +well, you can tell what they'd do under any kind of conditions, an' +if you know what they have done, an' what they've been through, you +know purty well what they are; but when you don't know anything at +all, it makes it hard, awful hard." + +I didn't have anything to say to her that would help, so I didn't +say anything; an' after we had ridden on a while she said, "Happy, I +don't want you to be a business man. The Easterners that rile me up +worse than any other kind are the business men. They allus calculate +how a thing could be turned into money. Why, if one of 'em lived out +here he'd put a cash value on of Mount Savage. They allus make me +think o' Dombey." + +"What was th' about that buckskin mustang to make you think of a +business man?" sez I, thinkin' she meant a little ridin' pony she +used to have. + +"I don't mean Dobbins," sez she, "I mean a character out of a book. +He was such a good business man that he let most of life slip by +him. I don't want you to do that." "Well, I'll try not to," sez I, +"an' it may be that beginnin' late in life like I am, I won't become +enough of a business man to get that way; but the' is one thing +sure--I 'm through with my nonsense. I'm not goin' around playin' +like a boy any more, I'm goin' to start in an' stick to business all +this summer, an' see what comes of it." + +"Where you goin' to start in?" sez she. + +"How do I know?" sez I. "I'm just goin' to knock around till I meet +up with a business openin', an' then I 'm goin' to put my full might +into it till I know the whole game." + +"I don't believe that's the way they do it," sez she. "These ones +that I've heard braggin' about bein' business men don't look to me +as if they ever did much knockin' around. They generally have +everything all planned out when they begin, and then follow out the +plans. Are you goin' to start in some town or go into a big city?" + +"Well, I can tell you more about it when I get back," sez I. "I +stayed three days in San Francisco oncet, but I didn't like it--it +was too cramped up. I'm thinkin' o' headin' that way though." + +"Well, as soon as you've give business a good fair try-out, you'll +come back here an' tell us about it, won't you?" sez she. The sun +had dropped by this time; but I could still make out her face in the +twilight. The eyes were big an' soft an' glisteny, the lips were +parted an' were tremblin' a little; it was a brave little face, but +it looked lonesome. Something began to tighten around my heart. an' +I didn't want to go; but I had put my hands to the plow, an' I +didn't intend to back-track till I'd turned one full furrow. "Yes," +I sez. "Honor bright, just as soon as I've give it a fair trial I'll +come back an' let you know." + +"You'll come before it snows if you can, won't you?" she sez, an' I +nodded. + +Well, for my part, I'd rather quarrel when I'm goin' to break any +ties. I stayed for five meals after that, but they was uncommon +dismal. We all tried to act as if everything was runnin' to suit us, +an' we all made a successful failure of it. When at last I was ready +to leave, Jabez shook my hand and said, "Now this is just a +vacation, Happy. Have your outing an' then come back an' settle down +here. Do you want to take your money with you, or leave it in the +bank until you decide to invest it?" + +"What money?" sez I. + +He grinned. "Oh, you'll make a business man all right. Don't you +remember givin' me six hundred dollars after you came back from the +Pan Handle? Well, it's been in the bank ever since, an' it's grew +some, I reckon." + +"Well, let her keep on growin'," sez I. "I'm goin' to learn the +business before I invest in it." + +"That's sense," sez he. "Did you ever have any experience?" + +"I was clerk in a restaurant once," sez I; "but I didn't like it, +an' I don't reckon I'll go into the restaurant business." + +Barbie rode a long way with me, but we didn't talk much. + +I don't suppose the' ever was a time when we both had so much to +say; but we couldn't seem to say it, an' when we came to part all +she said was, "Oh, Happy, I hate to see you go, but I'm sure you'll +come back in the fall." + +"I'll come back as soon as I feel I can," sez I; "an' now don't +worry none yourself, an' don't fret your Dad--an' don't forget old +Happy." We shook hands long an' firm, an' her eyes seemed tryin' to +hold me until I couldn't look into 'em--but I didn't kiss her this +time. We both noticed it, an' we both knew 'at while I was partin' +from her she was partin' from her childhood. Partin' from anything +'at you've been fond of is mighty sad business; and so I rode away +again. + + + + +CHAPTER THIRTEEN + +BUSINESS IS BUSINESS + + +I felt entirely different this time. I wasn't smartin' under anger +an' unjust treatment; I was goin' out of my own accord an' because I +had left behind me the carelessness of boyhood, hood, an' was ready +to plow an' plant an' wait for a crop. No more gaiety, no more +frivolity, no more heedlessness. I was to scheme an' plan for the +future an' not be led astray by every enticin' amusement that +beckoned to me. + +When I came in sight of Danders the second day, I didn't inquire how +my thirst was feelin'--no more thirst emersions for mine. The' ain't +any profit in that, sez I to myself; what I want to do is to ease +this old skin of a pony along until I can get a piece of money for +him; that's business. + +I wasn't much acquainted over in Danders, an' I thought it would be +easy slidin'; but the first feller I met was a useless sort of a +cuss what had been punchin' cows at the Diamond Dot the time the +Prophy Gang tried to clean it out, an' he has to tell 'em who I am, +an' they had all heard about me an' Bill Andrews; so 'at it was +purt' nigh impossible for me to hold out. I apologized for not +drinkin', an' they let me off; but the old Diamond Dot hand said he +was broke, an' wanted me to shove him a little stake. + +Well, that was sure a bad opening: "Business," sez I, "don't let go +one cent unless it's goin' to grab another an' fetch it back home;" +an' I knew that all I gave this feller would keep in circulation for +the balance of eternity. Then a brilliant thought struck me, an' I +told him I'd give him one fourth of all he got for the pony over ten +dollars. He looked at the pony an' sez, "Who gets the ten dollars?" + +"I gets the ten dollars," sez I. "This is business: I own the pony, +I pay you wages to sell him, the more you sell him for the more you +get." + +He looks at me a moment an' then he calls a gang around him an' sez +to 'em: "Here's a rich one, fellers. You see this pony--well, he was +too blame old to herd geese with when I was punchin' cows over at +the Diamond Dot, ten year ago, an' now Happy wants me to sell him, +me gettin' one fourth of all I rake in over ten dollars--an' HIM +gettin' the ten dollars. What do ya think o' that for nerve?" + +Course they all laughed like a lot o' guinea-hens, but I knew that a +business man has to overlook the inborn ignorance of his customers, +or else it's twice as hard to land 'em; so I just smiled polite. + +"What is your first offer, men?" sez my salesman. "Who'll give me a +hundred dollars for this grand old relic; this veteran of a hundred +wars; this venerable and honorable souvynier of bygone ages?" Well, +that blame fool went on pilin' it up while the crowd egged him on by +offerin' two bits, an' four bits, an' six bits an' a drink; an' so +on until I was disgusted and turned it off as a joke, tellin' the +blasted rascal to take the pony an' try to trade him for a night's +lodgin'. + +He takes my saddle an' bridle off an' puts 'em careful in the hotel, +an' then he takes the pony across the street an' begins to rub him +down. He rubs him a while an' combs out his stringy mane an' tail +with his fingers. Every now an' again he backs off an' examines that +pony as though he was actually worth stealin'. I couldn't make out +what he was up to, so I stood in front of the hotel watchin' him. +Purty soon up comes a tourist what has been lurkin' around in the +distance. + +"What is the' about that pony that everybody takes such an interest +in him for?" sez he, glancin' over to where us fellers was gawkin'. + +"Don't you know?" sez the feller, in surprise. I can't quite recall +his name now, but I think it was Bill. Anyhow, most fellers' names +is Bill, so we'll call him Bill. "Don't you know who this pony is?" +sez Bill. + +"Why no," sez the tourist. "I just arrived this mornin', an' I'm +waitin' for my uncle to send in after me." + +"Is that so?" sez Bill. "Well, I'll bet your uncle knows who this +pony is. This pony is Captain. Who is your Uncle?" + +"Why, my uncle is Charles W. Hampton," sez the tourist. + +"You don't say!" sez Bill. "Well, Cholly knows who Captain is all +right." + +"Oh, do you know him?" sez the tourist. + +"Why, everybody knows him around here," sez Bill. + +"That's funny; they told me he lived over a hundred and forty miles +from here," sez the tourist. "But what is the' about Captain that +makes him so wonderful? He don't look like much of a pony to me." + +Bill looks at the pony and then he looks at the tourist, then he +looks at the pony again an' sez in a low voice: "It ain't on his +looks, it's for what he's done that makes Captain famous." + +"What's he done?" sez the tourist. + +"Did you ever hear of Custer's massacre?" sez Bill. + +"Of course I have," sez the tourist, gettin' interested. + +Bill, he walks up an' puts his hand on the pony's neck, an' then he +turns an' sez proudly, "This here pony is the last survivin' remnant +of that historical event." + +"You don't say!" sez the tourist. "What are you goin' to do with +him?" + +"I don't want to say a word again the flag of my country," sez Bill, +holdin' tip his hand, "but my country ain't got the gratitude it ort +to have when it comes to hosses. I don't blame 'em for condemnin' +the common run o' hosses an' sellin' 'em to wear out their pore +lives in--in toilsome labor, but when it comes to a hoss with a +record like Captain--well, I kept him as long as I could afford it. +Now I'm goin' to give him a good groomin', spend my last penny in +givin' him one more feed, an' then take him out on the broad free +prairie of his native soil--an' shoot him. Of course I could sell +him, but I won't do it. I'd rather give him a soldier's death than +to have him hammered around in his old age, after all he's done for +his country." + +Well, the tourist, he gets all het up over it, an' then he comes +over to where us fellers gathered. We're standin' in solemn awe, an' +he sees the' ain't any of it put on; but he can't tell that it ain't +respect for what the pony has done that makes us so solemn; he can't +see 'at we 're off erin' up our tribute to Bill. + +"Do any of you gentlemen know anything about that pony?" sez the +tourist. + +"Who, Captain!" sez a tall, lanky, sad-lookin' puncher. "Well, it +ain't likely that you can find a man in the West who wouldn't +recognize that pony by the description. That there pony was in the +Custer Massacre." + +"The gentleman what owns him is goin' to shoot him," sez the +tourist. + +"Well, perhaps it's all for the best," sez the sad one. "I ain't no +millionaire, but I offered him thirty-seven dollars for that pony. +He doubted that I'd take good care of him, so he wouldn't sell him +to me. He said he didn't think I'd abuse the pony when I was sober, +but I'll have to own up that when a friend--when a friend invites me +to have a drink, I can't say no--an' I got a darn sight o' friends +in this country." + +The' ain't no use in draggin' this out. After that tourist had +agreed to treat that pony like the saints of glory, Bill, he finally +sold him to him for an even fifty dollars--an' it was me that bought +the liquor for the crowd. + +I'm good-natured enough to suit any one reasonable, but I own up I +was sore. Here I'd started out with the best intentions in the +world, with my mind all made up not to be led into temptation or +turned from a set purpose, an' what was the first result? I had +simply given my entire stock in trade away to a worthless loafer, +an' had seen him sell it for fifty dollars after he had made all +manner of fun of me for offerin' one fourth of all he made over ten. +Why, the pony was worth seven dollars, an' I could have sold him for +that money myself if I hadn't let them laugh me into showin' of. +Then to top off with, I'd blown in about a month's wages just to +show the gang I was able to take a joke when it was measured out to +me. + +I was ready right at that minute to own tip that business didn't +come natural to me; but I enjoyed myself plenty enough until along +toward mornin', an' then the penjalum begun to swing back. I sat +over in the corner kickin' myself purty freely, when a funny, +twisted little man came over an' sat across from me. He had pink- +like cheeks an' shiny little eyes, an' he was middlin' well crowded +with part of the wet goods I had been payin' for. "It was one o' the +smoothest business deals I ever saw put through--on a small scale," +sez he. + +"Oh, hang business," sez I. + +"Well, it's a hangin' matter often enough," sez he. "Do you know the +reason why the' 's so much devilment in this world?" + +"It's 'cause the' 's so many people here," sez I; "that's easy +enough." + +"It's 'cause the preachers ain't got the nerve to explain what the +commandments mean," sez he. + +It was an awful curious little man, an' I kind o' straightened up +an' give him a searchin' look: "I've met a heap like you," sez I. +"Some folks think that preachers is paid to make the world better, +but they ain't. They're paid so that when a feller's conscience +hurts him he can just lay all the sins of the whole world on the +preachers." + +"They deserve 'em," sez the little man. "What does it mean to +steal?" + +"Why, any fool knows what stealin' is," sez I. "It's takin' +something that don't belong to you." + +"How can you tell what does belong to you," he sez, leanin' forward +as if he was makin' a point. + +I looked at him an' saw that he really thought he was talkin' sense, +so I sez: "You go talk to some one else. I'm too sleepy an' I'm too +blame sore to bother with such nonsense." + +"It ain't nonsense," sez he. "I'm an edicated man, an' I been +studyin' life ever since I been born. My father was a preacher +across the water, an' I got arrested for stealin' a bottle of +whiskey when I wasn't nothin' but a boy. The whole family was +disgraced on account of me, an' my father told 'em to go ahead an' +give it to me hard. Now I stole that whiskey on a dare, an' I stole +it from a good church member; but all the rest of my life I been +stretchin' that there commandment until I tell you the whole human +race is one set o' thieves." + +Well, I was purty sleepy, but the little old man had an eye in him +like a headlight, an' he just made you listen to him. "The' ain't no +sense in your slingin' mud that way," sez I. "The' 's lots of men +'at wouldn't steal, if they had a chance." + +"If I ruin my constitution through depravity, is it stealin'?" sez +he. + +"No," sez I, "it's darn foolishness." + +"It is stealin'," sez he, "just as much as if I help to waste +natural products what can't be replaced--stealin' from the children +of the next generation, an' all the followin' generations." + +"What rights have they got?" I sez, losin' my patience. "They ain't +even born yet." + +"Did you ever see a baby?" sez he. + +"Yes," I sez, "I bet I've seen a dozen of 'em." + +"Well," sez he, "was they polite? Did they beg for what they wanted? +Did they have any doubt but that they'd be plenty of everything to +go around?" + +"Not them what I saw," sez I. "They'd give one little coo, to see if +any one was handy, an' then they'd holler an' yell an' scold an' +fuss until they got what they wanted." + +"Do you suppose if they didn't have any rights they'd have the nerve +to carry on that way?" sez he. + +"Rights!" sez I. "They didn't have to have rights--they had +mothers." + +Well, that set him back a good ways, an' by the time he had thought +up some new stuff I was asleep; but he shook me awake an' sez, "Of +course the child's mother will do all she can; but supposin' she +ain't got what the child wants--how'll she explain it to him?" + +"She won't bother explainin' nothin' to a baby," sez I. "She'll just +send the old man out to get it." + +He looked sort o' disgusted like, as if he wasn't used to arguin' +with a man what could handle logic an' make points. "You're just +like the rest," sez he. "What I mean is, that every man who has ever +been on earth is just sort of an overseer for them what is yet to +come. We have the right to use everything we want in the right way, +but we haven't any right to waste it or destroy it, or hog it up so +that all can't enjoy it. Why, when you start to savin' an' draw in +what ought to be circulatin', you steal from them what haven't had +the chance 'at you've had. It's wicked to be thrifty." + +"Well, you're the craziest one I've seen yet," sez I, laughin'. +"Why, if you had your way you'd utterly ruin business." + +"Business!" he yells, gettin' excited. "Do you know what business +is?" + +I thought a moment. "I don't know all the' is to know about it," sez +I, "but I expect to give it a fair good work-out before I'm through +with it." + +"Business," he sez, leanin' across the table an' hittin' it with his +finger-nail, "business is simply havin' the laws fixed so you can +steal without havin' to pay any fine. What is business? Ain't it +figgerin' an' schemin' to get away from a man whatever he happens to +have? That's nothin' but stealin'." + +"Confound you," sez I, "do you mean to say that just because I'm +goin' to engage in business I'm a thief?" + +He looked at me a moment an' then he shook his head. "No," he sez, +"you won't never be that kind, you'll be some other kind; but that's +about all business is--just thievery. Why, I once knew two men 'at +was the best friends 'at ever lived; an' they just ruined their +lives 'cause they couldn't resist the temptation of each tryin' to +grab all. It was over the Creole Belle--" "Yes, but she was a +woman!" I yells, jumpin' to my feet, an' leanin' over the table. + +"No, it was a mine," sez he, sittin' still. + +"A Creole is a cross-breed woman 'at came from New Orleans," sez I; +"an' when they're good lookin' enough, they call 'em belles." + +"Well this here mine 'at I'm goin' to tell you about was called the +Creole Belle," he sez. "For a longtime it didn't pay to amount to +anything, an' then it began to pay; an' the two friends got +covetous, an' first George had Jack killed an' then he gets killed +himself by Jack's--" + +"No, he wasn't killed," I snaps in like a blame fool. + +The old man looked at me with his little shiny eyes all scrouged up. +"Who wasn't killed?" he sez, slow an' cautious. "Why, George Jordan +wasn't killed," I sez. + +"What would a kid like you know about it" sez he. + +"Well, I do know 'at he wasn't killed," I sez. "I been workin' for +him; he don't live but a short way from here. Tell the the whole +story. I'll make it worth your while. Come on, what'll you have to +drink?" + +He leaned forward with his hand clutchin' at his side, an' his pink +checks gray an' twisted. He coughed a dry, short cough, an' groans +out between his set teeth. "It 's my heart; I got a bum pump. You +tell George Jordan that I never breathed a word of it, but that Jack +Whitman--Oh, my God! Get me a drink of whiskey! Get me a drink of +hell-fire!" + +He doubled up, grabbin' an' clawin' at his breast while I jumped to +the bar yellin' for whiskey. I grabbed the bottle an' hustled back +to him, but he was all crumpled up on the floor. We straightened him +out an' rubbed his wrists an' poured whiskey down his throat, an' +after a while he opened his eyes. The minute his senses got back to +him he clutched at his heart again, rollin' an' writhin', an' makin' +noises like a wounded beast. "I knew it would end this way," he +gasped. "I'm goin' out now, but listen to what I say"--he helt his +breath to keep from coughin'--"the' ain't no sin but stealin'. Don't +never take nothin' that don't belong to ya." + +All his muscles grew rigid an' twisted, an' then a smile came on his +face an' he sank back. They had the doctor there by that time, but +the' wasn't anything to be done, except to give a big heathen name +to what had been the matter with him. There he lay on the bar-room +floor; the' was filth an' refuse all around him, but the smile on +his face was just plumb satisfied, an' yet it was a knowledgeable +smile too. I could 'a' cried when I thought that this man, who could +have told little Barbie what she wanted to know, had wasted all that +time tryin' to convince me that business an' stealin' was all one. +What he knew wouldn't do him a mite o' good, wherever he was; an' +yet the' wasn't any way on earth to bring him back long enough to +have him tell it. + +They told me his name was Sandy Fergoson, an' that he was harmless +crazy. He used to float around doin' odd jobs an' talkin' nonsense +about stealin'; but nobody knew where he had come from, so I chipped +in a little something to help bury him, an' gave up the rest of my +money for a ticket to Frisco. + +I didn't enjoy that trip to Frisco; business didn't seem so +attractive when you once set out to find her, an' then again, I was +broke. I don't mind bein' broke when I 'm on the range 'cause a +feller can pick up a job anywhere; but I wasn't city-wise, an' I +didn't know how long it would take me to track down the kind o' +business I wanted to engage in. + +I suppose cities must suit some folks, or they wouldn't keep on +livin' in 'em; but cities sure don't suit me. I allus had a kind of +an idea from what Slocum had told me that I'd enjoy the bankin' +business, so I applied to the banks first. They're a blame offish +set, bankers. They didn't laugh at me,--leastwise not until after +I'd gone out,--but they didn't offer much encouragement. I tramped +around that city for four days, an' by the time I finally got +located in business my appetite was tearin' around inside my empty +body till I couldn't sleep nights. Oh, it was not joyful! I had +taken the position of porter in a mammoth big drygoods store, an' I +was some glad when noon arrived; but no one called me to partake of +dinner, so I went up to a young lad, an' sez, "Where do they spread +it?" + +"Spread what?" sez he. + +"Dinner," sez I. + +"I bring mine with me," sez he. + +"Is the grub that rotten?" sez I. + +"What grub?" sez he. "You surely don't think they serve meals here, +do you?" + +"Do you mean to tell me that I got to find myself, out of forty a +month?" sez I. + +He started to make up a joke, but I looked too famished to trifle +with; so he explained to me that all we got was wages, an' we +couldn't even sleep in the store. I was gettin' purty disgusted with +business, but he told me that the man what owned the whole store had +started in as a porter; so I went back an' portered harder than ever +that afternoon, wonderin' what in thunder kind of a man it was who +could save enough out of a porter's wages to buy a store like that. +I was dressed some different from the rest o' the folks around +there, so I attracted a lot of attention, an' the' wasn't much I did +that wasn't enjoyed by more or less of a crowd. When quittin' time +came I hustled up to the feller what had hired me an' told him I'd +like to have my day's pay. "We don't pay until Saturday night," sez +he, hustlin' out o' the store. I stood on the sidewalk thinkin'; an' +what I was thinkin' of, was the nonsense 'at Sandy Fergoson had been +talkin'. It didn't sound so foolish now. + +The' was a little restaurant across the street, an' the owner of it +had noticed me washin' the windows--he had seemed to enjoy it too. I +went over an' told him that I would like to board with him if he +would make me rates. He sized me up an' sez he would board me for +six dollars a week. I didn't see how I could save enough to buy a +store out of four dollars a week, an' after I got tired o' seein' +the sights I'd have to rent a bed somewheres too; but what I needed +then was food, so I agreed. + +I sat down an' begun to eat slow, 'cause it's always best to warm up +careful on a long job. I et away peaceful an' contented until I got +good an' used to it again, an' then I kept the waiters hoppin' purty +lively. The proprietor took a deep interest in me, an' dodged around +so he could have an unobstructed view; while the rest of the guests +got to noticin' too, an' when they'd finish they'd just stick around +an' keep cases, until after a while things began to jam, an' every +time I'd order in some new food they'd make bets on whether I'd be +able to finish it or not. When I finally quit, the proprietor came +up to me on a run an' sez, "Are you sure you have had all you wish?" + +"Yes," I sez, "an' I ain't no fault to find with the cookin' +either." + +He eyed me all over, an' then he drew me to one side. "I don't want +to go back on my word," sez he, "an' I don't intend to charge you a +cent for this meal; but Great Scott, man, I wouldn't board you for +six dollars a day, let alone six dollars a week." + +I didn't intend to let him know that I was stone broke, 'cause it +didn't seem the thing in a business man; but I did tell him that I +hardly ever et quite so much as I had that night. Still, he wouldn't +take any chances, so I took my blankets an' went on. I was purty +sleepy after my meal, an' it was just all I could do to stagger up +an' down the hills, before I found a place to flop in. It was under +a little tree in a big yard, an' I got out at sun-up 'cause I didn't +want any one to see a business man occupyin' such quarters as that. +I didn't miss breakfast much that day, an' I went about my work +singin' an' whistlin'. Just before noon I found a hundred dollars on +the floor close to the door. + +I asked every one around if they had lost any money, an' most of 'em +said no, an' them what bad lost any--an' the' was a purty high +average that mornin'--had all lost the wrong amount, or else it was +in a different kind of a sack; so I knocked off at noon, went to a +new restaurant, an' et a fair meal, which they charged me one dollar +for. I thought that was goin' a little stout for a porter, but I +knew I'd find a place where I could live on my income as soon as I +got better acquainted, an' I was purty light-hearted when I got back +that noon. + +"You're nineteen minutes late," sez the floor boss. + +"Is that so; what's happened?" sez I, pleasantly. + +"You are not supposed to take more than an hour for lunch," sez he. + +"Well, you can just take the nineteen minutes out of the time I +saved up yesterday," sez I. + +"You must understand right at the start that business depends on +method," sez he, sour like. "Mr. Hailsworth wishes to see you at +once." + +Hailsworth was the capital letter o' that outfit, an' I was glad o' +the chance to see him, 'cause the' was some several changes I wanted +to make in the porterin' department. I follered the floor boss +upstairs an' back to a private room, where a little wizen-faced old +man sat up an' looked at me over his spectacles. "I understand you +found some money?" sez he. + +"I did," sez I. "Do you know who lost it?" + +"Well, no, not yet," sez he; "but of course you understand that any +money that is found in this building belongs to the firm, unless its +rightful owner claims it." + +"Well that's a new wrinkle" sez I. "Why don't it belong to me?" + +"'Cause you have hired your time to me, an' whatever you find here +you find in my time, so it's mine. This is the law, an' I am very +busy. Just hand it over at once." + +"That ain't right," sez I, "an' I don't intend to hand over a nickle +of it." + +"Then we'll have to arrest you," sez he. I put my hand down to my +leg, but both my guns was rolled up in my blankets. "I'm goin' out +to see a lawyer," sez I, thinkin' that would be more business-like +than to tell him I 'd blow the top of his head off. The' was lots +more things I wanted to tell him, but it took most o' my strength to +manage my self-control; an' I allus like to have good footin' when I +make my spring. I didn't feel at home, either, an' that's a heap. It +kind o' got on my nerves to see that little shrimp squattin' there +behind his spectacles an' tellin' me what I had to do, the same as +if I was a hoss. I turned on my heel and strode out o' that store +head up an' I was some glad that Hammy had taught me what strodin' +was, 'cause the rest o' the gang opened up a path you could 'a' +drove a street-sprinkler through. + +I didn't like the looks o' that lawyer, he reminded me of a rat. I +don't care much for the law anyhow. All the law is fit for is to +take care o' the weak an' the ignorant--an' they can't afford it. +I've noticed that much, the little time I've been penned up in +cities. This lawyer o' mine had full command o' the kind o' talk +that bottles up a man an' keeps him from expressin' himself. He said +I had a good case an' that he would save me my findin's, but that I +had to give him half of it for his services--in advance. If you +don't tell a lawyer the truth he can't fight your case; an' if you +do you put yourself in his power. Course I don't claim to be +authority, but I just actually don't like the law. + +When I came away from the law office, a nice friendly feller got +into conversation with me, an' after I'd bought him a couple o' +drinks, he grew confidential an' told me his troubles. He was owner +of a whole block of buildin's an' a lot o' residence houses, but he +was stone broke. He had had a quarrel with the banks, an' couldn't +raise a penny, an' he had lost ten thousand dollars the night +before, gamblin'. He said it would take forty dollars for him to go +to Los Angeles, where he had friends who would lend him any amount. +Otherwise they would foreclose the little mortgage he had on the +business block. + +He talked along until I couldn't stand it any longer, so I give him +the forty on the condition that I was to be his collecting agent at +wages of two hundred a month, as soon as he got back from Los +Angeles. + +I went down to the station with him and then I hunted up a place +where I took board and lodging for a week at six dollars in advance. +This left me purt' nigh two dollars to go on until the real estate +owner got back. I called around at my lawyer's every day, an' he +told me just to lay low an' he'd keep me out o' trouble. Then the +sixth day passed without the real estate owner I told the lawyer +about it an' asked him if he thought anything might have happened. +He got awful mad an' said he'd ought to be kicked for not chargin' +me ninety-five dollars for his services in the first place; an' by +Jinks that was the truth: that rascally real-estate owner wasn't +nothing but a flim-flammer. + +At first I couldn't believe that the block he had showed me over +didn't belong to him; but when I did I was ready to wreak vengeance. +The lawyer said that wreakin' vengeance wasn't a thing that paid in +city life, but that if I ever met up with that flim-flammer I could +scare a lot of money out of him. My lawyer was a purty good sort of +a feller, after all, an' he gave me a lot of high-class advice. He +told me that it might be years before my case came up, an' that the' +wasn't any use of me waitin' around for it. Then he talked about +business, an' he an' Sandy Fergoson had about the same ideas of it, +though they used different words. He told me that it was all right +for a boy to start in in some old business an' learn the trade, but +that the thing for a man to do was to get a start in a smaller town, +an' then after he'd learned the ropes to come to the big town an' +cut things wide open. + +The more I thought over this the better it looked to me; but I +hardly knew where to start in. Then the thought struck me that about +the best business move I could make was to go to Los Angeles an' +scare enough money out of the flim-flammer to give me a good start +in some little business of my own. My board bein' out an' my cash +bein' likewise, I had to travel on foot; but as my back was pointed +toward Frisco, I didn't mind that much. + +I trudged along for several days, an' the' was enough people along +the line to welcome me to my meals, so I begun to get more resigned +to bein' a human again. The farther I got from Frisco the nearer I +got to Los Angeles, an' though I was some anxious to meet up with +the flim-flammer, I finally began to doubt if he was worth the +bother, an' besides, he might not be there anyway. + +I was beginnin' to get good an' sick of business; an' I was more +than convinced that gettin' a feller's own consent to engage in it +wasn't the hardest step he'd ever have to take. Wayside friends was +beginnin' to get mighty scarce, an' I was feelin' lonesome above the +average one mornin', when I came to a pause in front of one o' these +little six-acre ranches where they raise lawn grass an' fresh air. +It was a purty, restful sort of a place, with a double row of trees +leadin' up to the house, an' somethin' seemed to be drawin' me in at +the front gate, although I couldn't smell any food cookin', either. +I only waited about a minute, an' then I followed the draw. + +I'm a firm believer in Fate. Fate is a funny word: leave the first +letter off, an' it 's the cause; leave the last letter off, an' it's +the result. Barbie found this out one night when we was discussin' +Fate. But I mean the sober side o' Fate, when I say I believe in it. +A train starts out o' New York city just the same time that a fool +cow puncher ropes a pony so he can ride to town for a big time. The +puncher reaches the washed-out railroad bridge five minutes before +the train--what do you call that? + +I was thinkin' o' these things while I was walkin' up the drive-way; +an' when I raised up my hand to knock, I felt just as if I'd been +sent for. + + + + +CHAPTER FOURTEEN + +THE CHINESE QUESTION + + +It happened just like I thought it would. I hadn't more than struck +the fourth or fifth tap before the door was opened by the finest +little woman you ever saw. She had a worried lock on her face, but +when she saw me the clouds rolled away an' she smiled clear into my +heart. She was a real lady--it stuck out all over her, like a keep- +off-the-grass sign. + +"Are you the man?" sez she. + +"Well, I'm one of 'em," sez I. + +"You know I sent clear to San Francisco for a man," sez she, "an' I +suppose you're the man." + +"To tell you the honest truth," sez I, "I was so preoccupied in +Frisco that I clean forgot to stop around for my mail, but as long +as we're conversin' on this subject, I'll just be bold enough to say +'at I'll take the job, without askin' what it is." + +"Have you had a wide experience?" sez she. + +"Wide?" sez I. "Wide, only just begins to give you a hint at it. I +ain't filled with the lust of vanity, nor I ain't overly much given +to tootin' my own horn; but in my humble an' modest way I guarantee +to be able to do anything on this good, green earth 'at don't +require a book edication." + +"Can I trust you?" sez she, lookin' into my face mighty searchin'. + +"If you sell me anything," sez I, smilin' as near like a baby as I +could, "you'll have to trust me, 'cause I'm dead broke." She just +stood an' looked in through my face; an' I tell ya, boys, I was +mighty glad that in all this rip-snortin' world the' wasn't one +single woman who could rise up an' say that I hadn't played fair. +She kept on lookin' into me, until I knew she was readin' everything +I had ever done or said or thought, an' the sweat was tricklin' down +my back like meltin' snow. + +"Yes," she sez finally, "I can trust you." + +"Don't you never doubt it," sez I. "All you need to do is to issue +the orders, an' if I don't carry 'em out, why, just tell the folks +not to send flowers. I ain't long on talk, but I'll agree to carry +out any plan you've got, from ditchin' a limited to shootin' up a +Methodist Church. That's me," sez I, "an' now let's have the news." + +Talk about bein' surprised! I thought she had a fence war on her +hands at the least; but what she wanted me to do was to take care of +a gentle old pair o' hosses, milk a cow, tend a garden, cut the +grass, an' help around the house. By the time she finished the +program, I felt like a fightin' bulldog when a week-old kitten spits +at him. Here I was, willin' to leave my hide tacked up on her barn, +an' all she wanted was a kind of lady-gardener. I just sort o' +wilted down on the steps, an' I must 'a' turned pale, 'cause she +said to me, "Why, you must be hungry. Haven't you had your +breakfast?" + +"Oh, yes," sez I, "day before yesterday." + +Then she begun to rustle about an' fix me up a snack, an' I was glad +I had followed the finger o' Fate. The bill o' fare seemed +altogether adapted to my disposition. + +While I was fillin' up the chinks an' crevices, she dealt out a +varigated assortment of facts. It seemed they lived there on account +o' the health o' the baby. Her husband had had to go East, an' would +be there some six weeks longer. When he had left, she had an Irish +cook, an' a Chinaman as polite as an insurance agent; but as soon as +he was gone, the Chink began to take liberties, the cook packed up +her brogue an' headed for an inhabited community, an' then the Chink +concluded that all he saw was his'n. She finally took a brace a' +told him to hit the trail, an' he had gone off, vowin' to come back +an' burn down the whole place. This was her first year there, an' +the closest neighbor was seven miles across country, an' not well +acquainted. + +She expected her cousin in a week or so, but as it was, she was +beginnin' to have trouble with her nerves. Then I was glad that I +had made her my little openin' address, 'cause she had joyfulled up +like a desert poney when he smells water. + +Well, I put in a rich an' useful day, as the preacher sez. First, I +rode one o' the veterans over to the station about ten miles away, +an telegraphed the other man not to bother; then I came back an' wed +the onions, washed the dishes, ran the washin' machine--say, I was +bein' entertained all right, but every minute I felt like reachin' +to see if my back hair wasn't comin' down. + +Me an' the cow had the time of our life that night. She had missed a +couple o' milkin's, an' didn't seem to care much about resumin' +payment; so I finally had to rope an' tie her, an' milk up hill into +a fruit-jar. Talk about bein' handy? I didn't know but what next day +I'd be doin' some plain sewin', or tuckin' the crust around a +vinegar pie. + +That night after supper she put the kid to bed an' then came down, +an' we went around nailin' the house up. Finally she showed me where +to flop. It was in her husband's cave, I believe she called it--a +little room full o' books an' pipes an' resty-lookin' furniture. +The' was a big leather bunk, an' that was where I was to get mine. +Her room was at the head of the stairs, an' she had a rope goin' +over the transom with a bell hangin' to it, close in front of my +door. The bell was to be my signal if she heard the Chink attack +before I did. Just before she went upstairs she reached into the +bosom of her dress an' fished out a real revolver, about the size of +a watch-charm. She held it in her hand and looked into my eyes with +her lips tight set. + +"Are the mosquitoes as bad as that?" sez I. + +"I carry this all the time, to defend myself an' child," sez she, +rufflin' up like a hen when you pick up her chicken, an' she was so +earnest about it that I nearly choked, swallerin' a grin; 'cause +honest, I could 'a' snuffed the thing up my nose. + +I pulled a long face an' sez to her as solemn as a judge, "Is there +enough food and water in the house to stand a siege, in case the +Chinaman'd pen us up?" Her face grew drawn an' worried until she +caught the twinkle in my eye, an' then she broke into a simile an' +tripped upstairs like a girl. I stood out in the hall a moment +lookin' after her an' I was mighty glad I had come. We was both in +need of company; her mind was a heap easier than it had been that +mornin', an' I felt better than I had for some several days. I +couldn't see where Sandy Fergoson had told me anything that would +get me any nearer what Barbie wanted to know; an' yet I couldn't +keep my mind off studyin' over it, except when I was busy. It was +the same with Bill Andrews, an' I was glad to have some one new to +worry over until I got tuned up again. + +As soon as she shut an' locked her door, I backed into my stall an' +looked about. The' was some invitin' lookin' books on the wall, an' +I read over the titles, finally selectin' one called, "The Ten +Years' Conflict." Now, if ever the' was a name framed up to deceive +the innocent, this here was the name. I opened the book with my +mouth waterin', thinkin' I was about to wade through two volumes of +gore; but it started out to tell about the Church of Scotland, an' I +wasn't able to keep awake to even the beginnin' of the scrap; so I +started to prepare myself for the morrow's duties, as the preacher +sez. + +After I had opened my roll an' took out my guns, so I could show 'em +to her in the mornin' an' sort o' cheer her up, I shed my boots an' +proceeded to occupy my bunk. Say, it was like floppin' down on a +tubful o' suds. Springs! Well, you should have seen Uncle Happy +bouncin' up an' down. I reckon I went to sleep in mid-air, 'cause I +was too tired to remember whether I was a husky maid or a tender +man. + +When I came to, I thought it must sure be the last day, an' that I +had waited for the very last call. The dinner-bell was a-knockin' +all the echoes in the house loose an' they was fallin' on my ear- +drums in bunches. I rushed out into the hall an' grabbed that bell +by the tongue, an' give a yell to let her know that I was ready for +orders. She opened the door an' came to the head of the stairs, an' +sez, "Hush-shh! Don't make any noise." + +"Noise!" sez I. "The' ain't any left. You used up all the raw +material. What seems to be wrong?" + +"Fido has just been growlin'," sez she, in a low whisper, "an' I +heard a noise out in the bushes." + +"What shall I do?" sez I. "Come up there an' toss Fido out into the +bushes, so as to kill two birds with one stone?" "No," sez she. "If +you are willin' to take the risk, I wish that you would go out the +front door an' lock it after you. Then look around careful and see +if he is settin' fire to the house. Take my revolver an' Fido, an' +do be careful not to get hurt--an' don't kill him unless you have +to." + +"I won't kill him unless I see him, an' he won't hurt me unless he +sees me first," sez I. "You better keep Fido an' the gun. I don't +want to be bothered with a couple o' noncombatants." + +Fido was a little black woolly-faced dog, an' he didn't impress me +as bein' no old Injun-fighter. I went out an' chased a cat out o' +the bushes; but didn't flush up a single thing wantin' to disturb +the peace, except the goat. He was the most frolicsome goat I ever +see, an' he about got my tag before I heard him comin'. I rummaged +the place purty thorough, an' after tellin' her that all was well, I +folded my wings an' went to roost on the leather bunk again. + +Twice more that night the clanging bell summoned me to go forth an' +chase imaginary Chinamen, an' then my patience begun to get baggy at +the knees. I wanted to be up in time to gather the milk before the +heat of the day, an' I was a couple o' nights shy on my sleep +already. The last time I took Fido along an' dropped him into the +feed-bin, where he could hunt Chinamen to his heart's content 'thout +disturbin' my beauty sleep. + +Our days flowed along smooth an' peaceful; but most o' the nights I +put in huntin' Chinamen. No, I wouldn't have killed one if I could +have found him--well, not all at once. I got so I could churn an' +dust an' do fancy cookin', until if they'd been any men in that +locality, I reckon one would have chose me to be his wife--an' then +came the cousin. + + She'd been tellin' me all about him--it's miraculous the way a +woman's talk'll flow after it's been dammed up a spell. He was from +Virginie an' was goin' to college to study chemistry, whatever that +is; an' he was an athlete an' a quarter-back an' a coxswain--oh, he +was the whole herd, the cousin was. I begun to feel shy whenever I +thought of him. I feared he might arrive when I was peelin' spuds +with my apron on, an' he might choose to kiss me. + +I drove to the station after him; but nobody got off the train +except a nice lookin' boy with outlandish clothes, an' a couple o' +trunks. After the train had pulled out, he sez to me, "Can you tell +me the way to Mrs. B. A. Cameron's?" + +"I can sight you purty close," sez I. "That's my present +headquarters. You--you ain't Ralph Chester Stuart, are ya?" + +"You win," sez he, as though we had made mud-pies together. "Come +on, let's load the trunks an' trip toward where ther's a noise like +food. I'm troubled with what they call a famine." + +We drove along, an' he was as merry as a bug an' talked a langwidge +the like of nothin' that I had ever met up with before; but I was +tryin' to fit his real size with my idea of it. I had been lookin' +for a six-footer with bulgy muscles an' a grippy jaw. This pink- +cheeked boy didn't look like no athlete to me. He was so cute an' +sweet that I felt like hangin' a string o' coral beads around his +neck an' savin' him for my adopted daughter. I had just concluded to +hand over the dish-washin' right at the start, when he fished up a +pipe out of a case, filled it, an' begun to puff like a grown-up, +an' then I savvied that dish-washin' wasn't one of his hobbies. "Any +sport here?" sez he. + +"If you're good at dreamin," sez I, "you can have the time of your +life huntin' Chinamen. I never see a place yet where the huntin' was +so plentiful an' the game so scarce." + +He got interested in a minute an' told me he had a shotgun, a rifle, +an' three revolvers. + +"I wish I could write Chinese," sez I. + +"What for?" sez he. + +"So I could put up a sign warnin' him away," sez I. "Why, if we'd +all three get a chance at that Chinaman, it'd take me a solid week +to clean him off the lawn." + +Ches an' me got along fine. He was a game little rooster, an' his +college stories used to tickle me half to death. I never would have +believed that a little feller could 'a' been a college athlete; but +Ches had got his pictures in the papers, time an' again. At college +they race in a boat about the size an' shape of a telegraph pole, +eight of 'em rowin' an' the coxswain perched tip behind, pickin' out +the path an' tellin' the rowers not to think of their future, but to +kill theirselves right then if it will win the race. Ches sez that +the coxswain is the most important man in the boat. He had a good +deal the same views about the quarter-back, in fact he took what +they call a purely personal estimate of life. + +He showed me how to play football. It's pleasant pastime, but too +excitin' for a frail thing like me. He gave me his cap to carry, an' +told me to back off about twenty feet, an' try to run over him, or +stick my stiff-arm in his face or dodge him--any way at all to get +by. I backed off an' then I looked at him. He looked about as hard +to get by as a toadstool. + +"Now, Ches, I don't want to have your blood on my head," I sez, "an +if you've just been jokin', why say so." But no, nothin' would do +but I must run him down. I never won much of a reputation for bein' +slow, an' I weigh one ninety when I'm ganted down to workin' trim. I +took a full breath an' sailed into him. I intended to give a jump +just before I reached him an' go clear over his head, but I lacked +the time. Just as I took my jump he gave a lunge, wrapped himself +about my lower extremities, an' we sailed up among the tree-tops. +All the way up I was tryin' to figure out how it happened; but when +we struck the earth again, I didn't care. I knew it would never +happen again. I'd shoot first. + +We lit on top of my face an' whirled around a few times an' then +sort o' crumbled up in a heap, with him still shuttin' off the +circulation in my legs. "Down!" sez he. "an' now the ball is dead." + +"I can't answer for the ball," sez I, "but I'm about as near bein' +in the coffin mood myself as I ever get at this season of the year. +What game did you say we was indulgin' in?" + +"This is football," sez he. + +"I'm glad to know it," sez I, "so that in the future when any one +issues an invitation for me to play football I can make arrangements +for provin' an alibi. If I HAD to play a game like this I should +choose to be the ball." + +He was full o' little ways like this an' entertained me fine; but it +was mighty hard to wring any useful work out of him. He used to +prune the rose vines, and now and again he'd do a little dustin'; +but once when I had to bake sourdough bread, I pointed out that the +garden needed weedin', an' explained to him just what effect weedin' +had on garden truck. He sez to me, "My motto is, `Competition +results in the survival of the fittest.' I ain't no Socialist." When +I asked him what this bunch of words meant, he told me that he +didn't know of any exercise 'at would do me so much good as learnin' +to think for myself; an' that's all the satisfaction I could get out +of him. He was some like other edicated persons I've met up with: +when you tried to get him to do something useful, he'd fall back on +his book knowledge, roll out a string of high steppin' words, an' +then look prepossessed. + +He was good about one thing, though: he just about took the night +trick off my hands, so that I begun catchin' up with my sleep again. +He used to load himself down with firearms an' he and Fido would +hunt Chinamen two or three hours every night, but he never had no +luck. Several times the neighbors rode by an' they told us that the' +was a gang breakin' into houses an' stealin', but they couldn't seem +to get any track of 'em. + +One mornin' I was tryin' to find out what made the sewin' machine +drop stitches, when he came runnin' in with his eyes stickin' out +like a toad's. + +"He's been sleepin' in the barn," sez he. + +"Who--the horse?" sez I, thinkin' it was one of his jokes. + +"No," sez he, "the Chinaman." + +Well, I looked at him, an' he explained how his suspicions had been +aroused, an' that he had made a practice of stirrin' up the straw +each evenin', an' then each mornin' would find the print of a man's +body but that he had put tar on the ladder without gettin' any +evidence. + +I pricked up my ears at this, an' turned the machine out on pasture +for a while. We went to the barn, an' there, sure enough, was the +print of a man's body. Then we adjourned to the shade to hatch up a +sub-tile plot. We smoked an' hatched until it was time for me to go +in an' help with dinner. We was both thinkin' hard, an' finally I +sez, "Now, Ches, the craftiest thing for us to do, is for me to +cover up in the straw, an' when he lays down, explode my gun against +his ribs." He had pestered me a mighty sight, an' I never was +partial to 'em nohow. Ches never made any reply; he was what you +call engrossed. All of a sudden he leaps to his feet an' slaps me on +the shoulder. + +"Happy," sez he, "are ya game?" + +I looked at him a while, an' then I sez gently, "Now look here, +Mister, I ain't no hero, an' if you happen to have any more college +festivities to introduce, why I'll own up to a yellow streak a foot +wide; but I don't recollect just what day it was that any livin' man +accused me of bein' down-right pale-blooded. If you got any hair- +raisin' projec' in your head, don't bother to break it gentle. Just +tell it right out, an' I'll lean up against this tree, so as not to +hurt myself should I faint." + +"Well," sez he, chucklin' like a prairie-dog. "I propose we paint up +the goat with phosphorus, put him in the barn, an' me an' you get up +in the trees to watch." + +"What's the goat done?" sez I. + +"The goat ain't done nothin'," sez he, "but he'll scare the Chink to +death, an' when he comes out we can shoot him in the leg or +something." + +"No," sez I, "it won't work. The Chink knows the goat better'n we +do; an' it'll be the goat that'll come out an' get shot in the leg, +while the Chink'll get away." + +"Oh, rats!" sez Ches. "He won't even know it's a goat. Can't you see +that?" "Why won't he know it's a goat?" I sez, gettin' impatient. "A +Chinaman's got just as much sense as a human being, an' you'll find +it out sometime too." + +"Yes, but didn't I tell you I was goin' to paint him with +phosphorus?" sez Ches, all het up. + +"I don't know what phosphorus is," sez I, "but you'll have to do a +master job of painting to make that William goat look like a +pinchin'-bug. Still, this is your projec' an' if you want to play +the wheel one whirl, why I'll help stick up the stake." + +I was busy about the house all afternoon, an' Ches kept himself +penned up in his labatory. He had brought out a lot of stuff in cans +an' bottles, had turned the woodshed into what he called a labatory, +an' spent a good part of his time there, mixin' up peculiar +stenches. They used to smell something frightful; but they only +exploded about half the time. No matter what they did do, he always +claimed that it was just exactly what he intended; but his hands was +colored up constant like a fried egg, an' I never took much joy in +loafin' about the woodshed. + +That night as soon as I had my dishes washed an' the kitchen red up, +we caught the goat an' took him to the barn. He was considerable of +a goat, this one was, with horns on him a foot long an' a fright of +a temper. He was one o' these fellers what is always out o' humor, +only sometimes farther out than common. Still, me with my rope, an' +Ches with his football habits, was one too many for Mr. Goat; an' we +soon had him up in the haymow. Then I passed up the can o' paint, +an' took a stroll around to see that no one had been givin' us the +look-over. + +The can o' paint did have a pretty fierce smell, but I didn't put +much faith in it. I'd been in opium joints, an' I knew that a +Chinaman would FATTEN on a smell 'at would suffocate a goat; an' +when it comes to vigorous an' able-bodied odors, a billy-goat ain't +no tenderfoot himself. + +After a time Ches came down with a heavenly smile on his face, so I +knew the goat hadn't smothered yet; an' then we went into the house +an' handled the lights in just the regular way; but when the time +came, instead of goin' to bed, we went out an' cooned up a big tree, +about on a level with the mow-window. Ches had nailed up a kind of +platform, which was rickety enough to keep a sensible man on the +watch; but first I knew he was wakin' me up. He had his hand over my +mouth, an' whispered, "He's in the yard now." + +I ain't one o' them what yawns an' grunts an' stretches; I wake up +like an antelope--all in a bunch. + +The' was a little rustlin' back in some bushes over by the fence. +Then, after a pause, we heard a queer scratchin' noise. He was +climbin' up a tree at the back o' the barn so as to get in through a +scuttle in the roof. 'T was gettin' interestin', an' I got out my +guns an' held 'em ready. Ches had a whole arsenal spread out around +him, an' I could easy see a week's work ahead of me, a-policin' up +the premises. + +The sky was just literally soggy with stars, an' you could see the +outline of things purty plain. It was one o' those nights when +everything is so still that you hear with the inside of your head, +an' any little real noise fair puts a crimp in ya. + +We was leanin' on the rail of Ches's platform, when all of a sudden +we hear the greatest jabberin' ever a human man heard. A goat an' a +Chinaman speaks the same langwidge, an' goodness only knows what +Billy Buck was a-tellin' him but the tone was insistent an' the +effect was most exhilaratin'. I had my ears stretched out to catch +every sound--an' sounds wasn't nowise scarce just then. Squeals an' +groans, an' wrastlin' an' blows, kept a feller all keyed up, an' we +was bitin' our lips to keep from laughin'--an' then it happened! + +The door o' that mow flew open as though it was struck by eleven +engines, a dark form shot out, followed by two more--an' then the +devil, himself, poked his head out through that haymow window. Talk +about faces--Lord! I attended a ghost dance over in the Sioux +country oncet; but it was a Sunday-school picnic alongside the face +that poked its way out of that door. + +The' was rings of fire around the eyes, nose, an' mouth, the +whiskers was one long waverin', ghastly flame, an' the horns was two +others. The' was a blue gritchety sort o' smoke curlin' up around +the face, an' my heart laid right down in its tracks an' rolled over +on its back. I only saw that face a second, but I can shut my eyes +an' see it right now. Gosh! + +I ain't much superstiticus, 'cept when I'm gamblin', but of course I +know the' 's such things as ghosts an' devils an' sich, an' I don't +take no liberties with 'em. I screeched out, a "Great Scott! what's +that?" My hands shut up voluntary, both my guns went off in the air, +the rail broke, an' me an' Ches sort o' chuck-lucked to the ground. +We didn't miss any limbs on the way down, nor the guns didn't +neither. Every time they bumped a limb, they went off, an' it +sounded like Custer's last stand. + +We weren't hurt none, an' scrambled to our feet in a second. The' +was an awful squawkin' goin' on under the haymow window, an' that +horrible, fire-faced devil seemed to be eatin' the heads off the +Chinamen. I got a better view of it this time, an' I see it was one +o' the dragons they worship. It made me feel a little better, 'cause +I didn't see why he'd have any grudge against a Christian. Still, I +wasn't takin' no chances, so I grabbed Ches by the arm an' headed +for the kitchen--him stickin' his heels in the ground an' callin' me +coward. I thought he had lost his mind, so I didn't pay any heed to +him. + +We threw ourselves against the kitchen door, an' I hammered on it +with my knuckles, while Ches kicked me on the shins an' tried to get +away. Finally Mrs. Cameron raised an upstairs window an' began +shootin' with her bean-blower. I've no idy what she was shootin' at; +but she hit me twice in the boot-leg, an' blame if it didn't sting +like a whip. + +Ches jerked loose while I was rubbin' the sore spot, an' as I +glanced up I saw the three dark forms comin' after us followed +closer by the devil-dragon, his face fairly drippin' with liquid +fire. The whole bunch of 'em looked outrageous big, an' I felt about +as massive an' forceful as an angle-worm; but at that, I managed to +open the celler door, an' tried to get Ches to come in too. "Ches," +I whispered, for I hadn't strength enough to yell, "Ches, come on in +an' save yourself;" but he never gave no heed. He just stood +crouching over in the shadow while they headed for him, devil-dragon +an' all. + +I wanted to crawl into the cellar alone, but I lacked just one grain +of havin' moral courage enough, so I stood still with my knees +beatin' together, watchin' 'em come. My heart ached to think that he +was out of his head an' fairly throwin' himself away, an' then all +of a sudden, it flashed upon me that the blame fool was playin' +football. On they charged like a stampeded herd, a-screechin' like a +run-away freight wagon with dry axles, while that pink-checked +tenderfoot stood in his tracks, as calm an' cool as the North Star, +until they arrived at the proper distance, an' then he sorted out +the big one in the center an' dove for his legs. + +They went up in the air, like a long-horn foolin' with the leg-throw +for the first time, the other two bumped into them, the fire-faced +devil-dragon slipped through, caught me full in the pantry, an' we +all avalanched into the celler in one mixed up tangle. I can't +describe it to you. I saw a photograph oncet of the bottomless pit +at a revival meeting, and this lay-out was a card out of the same +deck. I ain't stuck-up nor exclusive; but hang me if I ever want to +get into such a mixed crowd again. We bit an' kicked an' hammered +each other till I felt like quartz at a stamp-mill. The only light +we had, came from the Chinese devil'-an' I 'd a heap sooner had +none. + +Finally I got hold of two cues, an' it give me a logical purpose. I +simply took a short hold on those cues an' bumped the heads they +belonged to, together, until that dragon caught sight of me an' hit +me a thump in the back that loosened all my teeth. Something began +to make an awful bawling sound, an' it scared the life out of me +until I see the Chinese devil go up the stairs leaving a trail of +flame behind him; an' then I knew that one of our own Medicines had +arrived. + +This was some the worst roar I ever heard. It would start in with a +lot of foreign words an' end up with Rah! Rah Rah! The voice sounded +something like Chess; but when I called him he didn't answer, an' I +feared it was his spirit. + +The' didn't seem to be any use in bumpin' my two heads together any +more, so purty soon I dropped 'em, an' straightened up. The' wasn't +a sound, an' it was enough sight scarier than the noise had been. I +looked around in the dark, an' the' was ghastly waverin' flames all +over an' I could see hideous faces grinnin' at me. + +I scuttled out o' that cellar like a homin' rabbit, an' ran around +to the side door. Mrs. Cameron put her head out after a bit, an' +when she found out who I was, she let her lantern down to me on a +string, an' I screwed up my courage an' went back to the cellar. I +listened a moment, an' it was quiet as a grave--it was too much like +a grave to suit me. I needed the touch of an old friend, so I went +back an' hunted up one of my guns, loaded it, an' went down into +that cellar--an' I never want my nerves stretched no tighter than +the' were right at that minute. I see three Chinamen an' Ches +stretched out in a heap, Ches still huggin' the big one he had +picked out first. + +I carried the two of 'em upstairs still locked together, an' laid +'em on the porch. As I did so, Ches opened his eyes an' smiled +weakly, ail sez to me most beseechful, "Gi' me the ball, gi' me the +ball, an' let Hodge an' Roger throw me over the line. It's no use +tryin' to buck through." The doggone loon still thought the was +playin' football, I don't reckon a railroad wreck would give one o' +them football players a single new sensation. + +He jumps up after a minute, shakes himself, an' seems as good as +new. I was for lettin' the Chinks go, an' gettin' indoors; but not +for him, so we ties 'em; but I ain't a mite easy in my mind. I was +still lookin' for old Mister Devil-Dragon to come chargin' back with +his Fourth o' July face, an' put an' everlastin' crimp in us. His +man had a cut in the back of the head, while my two was merely +softened up a little; an' as soon as we got 'em in the kitchen an' +threw some water in their faces, they revived out of it an' began to +jabber enough to give a steam whistle the headache. + +"I'd better go an' let my cousin know we're all right," sez Ches. + +"Yes, we'll both go," sez I, quickly. + +"You'd better stay an' keep guard," sez Ches. + +"The door's locked an' they're tied," sez I. + +We went together, an' Mrs. Cameron laughed an' wept an' made a great +fuss. When we came back, the Chinks were gone. + +"I told you to stay on guard," yells Ches. + +"Well, I'm mighty glad I didn't," sez I. + +"What do you mean?" sez he. + +"Can't you see what happened?" sez I. "Their blamed fire-faced +dragon came back an' took 'em off, an' if I'd been here, like as +not, he'd have taken me too. He'd 'a' taken 'em down cellar; but +your Good Medicine came an' gave a shriek an' scared him away." + +Ches stood an' looked at me. "If you are really crazy, I don't mind +your talkin' this way;" he sez finally, "but if you have a grain of +sense left, tell me what you mean." + +"Do you mean to tell me that you didn't see him? I sez. "He had +horns an' a long bcard, an' was about six feet high an' spouted +fire, an'--" + +"Do you mean the goat?" he snaps in. + +"Goat!" I sez, gettin' mad. "Now don't get gay. The goat has tried +to butt me fifty times since I been here, an' I guess I know him by +sight; but this thing--" + +He see I was in earnest, took a match, wet it, an' held it in a dark +corner. "The goat was painted with that," sez he, an' I saw it all, +an' I--well, I just natchly shriveled. I thought it all over. "Well, +then," sez I, "what was the thing that gave the spirit call in the +cellar?" + +"That was my college yell," sez Ches, an' he gave it again, an' gee, +but it would 'a' made an Injun's mouth water. + +I was beginnin' to see that the' was a heap more in a college +edication than I'd ever supposed. + + + + +CHAPTER FIFTEEN + +THE DIAMOND DOT AGAIN + + +Next day we searched the barn an' found her just soggy with stolen +stuff. We started out the news an' most of it was claimed up by the +neighbors for a hundred miles around. They heroed me an' Ches right +consid'able; but we didn't tell 'em about the goat. It might put the +Chinamen wise, you see. They took up a purse of eighteen hundred +dollars for us which had been offered in rewards one place an' +another, an' we felt purty tol'able contented. + +But I was beginnin' to get lonesome, the same as I allus do when +I've been in one o' these quiet, stagnant places for a spell. I was +fond o' Mrs. Cameron an' the baby an' the place an' the cookin', an' +I thought the world o' Ches; but the' was a constant tuggin' at my +heart to get back to the Diamond Dot, back to the big, free sweep o' +plains, back to little Barbie. + +I'd been soakin' away all Ches's stories an' ways, an' I knew she 'd +be full as interested in 'em as I was. I had had enough o' business +too. I could easy see 'at I wasn't cut out for a business man, but I +generally managed to round up a little wealth one way or another. I +knew all along that I didn't really have a taste for business; it +was just that fool talk o' Bill Andrews that made me want to cut +loose from the Diamond Dot. I'd made up my mind now on that +question, an' it was surprisin' how simple the answer was after I'd +finally worked it out. The answer was this: I had as good a right +anywhere on earth as any one else did. I was some company for Barbie +at the Diamond Dot, an' it suited us both first rate. If it got on +Bill Andrews' nerves till he couldn't keep it under his breath, why +I'd have to furnish him with an excuse for movin'; but as for +myself, I'd just stick around until things began to creak a little. + +When Mr. Cameron came back, he made a big fuss over me an' Ches--he +was an' A1 sort of a man, Cameron was--an' he wanted me to stay +right along offerin' me big wages, which was a thing that Mrs. +Cameron had forgot all about, an' me too; but I didn't feel like +stayin'; so I set a date an' then it was settled. Besides, Ches +would be goin' back to college again soon. + +Cameron was a real estate broker in the East, but was beginnin' to +study up on minin' propositions. He knew all about Slocum's Luck, +that is, he knew the' was such a mine, an' that they was still +lawin' over it; but when I asked him about ever havin' heard of a +mine called the Creole Belle, he shook his head an' said he never +had. He hadn't heard of Jack Whitman, nor George Jordan, nor even +Sandy Fergoson; so I see the' wasn't any use in stayin' around +there, an' while I hated to part with 'em, I was glad when the time +came for me to say good-bye. + +They wanted to give some kind of a present when I left; but the only +thing I'd accept of, was a pair of chickens. I had got used to +eatin' eggs whilst I was there, an' I knew 'at Barbie would like +'em; so they put me up a rooster an' a hen in a basket, an' I rolled +up my roll, an' drove off to the depot with Ches. He was mighty +sober when we got out of sight of the house, an' after he did get to +talkin' it was mostly of all the good times we had had, an' how he +wished I was goin' back with him, or else he was goin' on with me. I +told him all about the Diamond Dot, an' how to get to it, an' +invited him out for a visit any time he could get away. I didn't +tell him much about Barbie; but I made him promise that if ever his +Cousin found out the facts about the Creole Belle mine, he'd let me +know at once. I couldn't bring myself to believe that Sandy Fergoson +had been crazy, an' I was beginnin' to come to the conclusion that +the' must have been both a woman an' a mine mixed up--an' that's a +combination to bowl over the best of us. + +Ches said he was so stuck on the West that he half believed he'd +learn to be a minin' engineer an' come out here an' live. He tried +to get me to promise to come an' visit him, but I told him that I +ranged over the same territory mostly, an' wouldn't know how to act +in the East; but that if I ever did head in that direction, I'd sure +look him 'up. He bought my ticket while I was gettin' my roll out of +the wagon, an' I couldn't make him take the money for it. + +"This ain't on me," he sez, "the Camerons's payin' for this; but +even if I was, I reckon I could afford it. You've brought me my +luck." + +"How about it bein' your bringin' me mine?" sez I, but he wouldn't +stand for it, so I got on the train with purty close to a thousand +dollars in my clothes an' a pair of chickens in my basket. He stood +on the platform until we were out o' sight, an' then I settled back +to think things over. + +People are more different than the other kinds of animals, an' yet +they're a heap alike, too. Now, me an' Ches was about as different +as they ever get, most ways, an' yet we pulled a level double-tree +out in the open. I could see the difference between my kind o' talk +an' his; but neither one of 'em was the booky kind that Mr. Cameron +talked, an' yet we had all three sat out one night watchin' the +stars, an' the' wasn't much difference in what we thought about a +lot o' things; but by the time we reached Oakland, I wasn't takn' +such friendly views of humanity. + +Now, I don't mind what a feller does as long as it don't interfere +with me, an' even then, I can put up with a sight o' bother; but all +the passengers on that train, an' the train crew too, seemed to +think that it just about capped the climax to see a man o' my build +totin' along a pair o' chickens. The' wasn't anybody on that train +who behaved any better'n those chickens did, except the first time I +tried to water'em out o' the cup; but they nearly pestered me to +death tryin' to find out what was mysterious about 'em I told 'em +the full reasons for my takin' 'em up to the Diamond Dot; but that +didn't suit 'em, they had to have some outlandish excuse. I stuck to +the truth until my good nature began to blister an' then I fixed up +a past history for those chickens that wasn't nowise common. + +When you just glance at it, a chicken ain't a creature that's apt to +have a adventurous life; but long before we reached Oakland, folks +was gettin' on the train every place we stopped, just to have a look +at chickens what had been taught to tell counterfeit money. It was +easy enough when I got started. Every one knows that a chicken's eye +is mighty detectin'. They stroll along pickin' up bugs 'at you or I +can't see with a magnascope, an' all 'at would be necessary to make +'em experts at money, would be to get 'em interested. + +The' 's allus somebody in a crowd who don't swaller bait as easy as +the rest, an' bye an' bye a feller holds up a silver dollar to the +rooster. The rooster was a pretty beast, all red an' blue, an' a +good feeler; but he didn't care a hang for money. He turned his head +away, an' I sez, "The dollar's good." + +But the feller had to keep on makin' tests, which didn't interest +the rooster any until finally the rooster begun to get some +exasperated. The feller held out a five-dollar bill to the rooster, +an' he was tired o' such nonsense an' took a sudden peck at it an' +tore it in two. It's bad," sez I. + +"I knew it was bad," sez he. "I said when I took it that I bet it +wasn't any good; but one o' these smooth Easterners give it to me. +If I'd had a bird like that I wouldn't 'a' got stuck. What'll you +take for him?" + +I smiled and sez, "I don't reckon you'd believe what these birds is +worth, but I wouldn't want to sell 'em even if I got my price. I +wish you'd give me that counterfeit bill though. The hen ain't fully +taught an' bills like that are scarce." + +He give me the bill, an' offered me all kinds o' prices for the +poultry; but I wanted to take 'em to Barbie, an' I finally stuck 'em +under the seat an' refused to let any one see 'em. That blame fool +offered me seventy-five dollars for that pair o' chickens when he +got off the train at Oakland, an' I was blame glad I had give up +business, 'cause it was sure good business to take a price like +that. The five-dollar bill was all right an' I spent part of it at +the restaurants along the way. + +When I got off the train at Webb Station, who did I see but Spider +Kelley an' the home freight-wagon. Well, we was both glad to see +each other, an' he stayed sober just so we could chat together on +the home ride. + +"How did you like business?" sez he. "Oh, it pays--in a money way," +sez I, "but it's too monotonous. I don't like it." + +"You ain't been gone long enough to make much money," sez he. + +"Oh, no, not what you would call money in business," sez I, "but +I've handled several pieces o' coin since I been away, an' I'll have +nine hundred for ol' Cast Steel to put out on pasture for me." + +"Nine hundred! Well, by gee!" sez Spider. "What kind o' business +have you been in, Happy?" + +"Oh, I tried hosses first, but they wasn't enough change in it, then +I went to Frisco an' give the dry-goods business a work-out. I tried +the real estate business next; but, Spider, you'll be surprised to +learn that I made more money out o' goats an' chickens than any +other business I got into." + +Well, that sure is wonderful," sez Spider. "Are you goin' to stay +here a spell, or are you just goin' to try to get Old Cast Steel +interested in poultry? I doubt if he goes into chickens deep, he +allus likes to herd on a big scale." + +"I'm goin' to give this here pair to Barbie," sez I. "If the old man +wants me to take on for the fall round-up, why it's likely I'll do +it, an' I may even stay through the winter. Money ain't the whole o' +life, an' I like this range better'n any I ever rode over." + +"Well, he'll be glad enough to take you on for the round-up," sez +Spider. "Omaha has quit." + +"The deuce he has," sez I. "What did he quit for?" + +"Him an' Bill Andrews had some words, an' I got to own up that Bill +was in the right of it. Cast Steel didn't take any sides, an' Omaha, +he finally pulled out week before last. Bill Andrews is the nearest +thing we got to a foreman now." "How's everything goin'?" sez I. + +"Smoother'n oil," sez he. "I've been around the ranch house ever +since you been away, tendin' to Pluto an' breakin' colts." + +"I'm goin' to get out an' walk back," sez I. + +"What the 'ell for?" sez he. + +"I never struck this place before when it wasn't in a tangle," sez +I, "an' I feel in my bones, it betokens bad luck." + +"Oh, hoofs," sez he, "you ain't that superstitious are you? Did you +leave last time in the same humor as usual?" + +Then I felt a shade easier. "No," sez I, "every other time me an' +Cast Steel had had a little difference; but this time, I was simply +tired o' the place. Well, I'll go on an' chance it; but I'm leery +that somethin' will happen." + +We arrived next day in time for supper, an' Barbie an' Jabez was +mighty glad to see me. Barbie went wild over the chickens, just as I +knew she would, an' Jabez said that he used to like eggs himself +when he was a boy, an' would have got some poultry long ago if he'd +only thought of it. They both of 'em laughed to think that I had at +last come back to the Diamond Dot without findin' any kind of +warfare; an' when I told 'em that it sort o' worried me, they only +laughed the more. + +"How did you like business, Happy?" sez Jabez. + +"I got nine hundred dollars I wish you'd range out with the rest o' +my herd," sez I, "but to tell you the simple truth, I don't like +business, not one mite." + +I thought I could stall 'em off without tellin' 'em what kind o' +business I'd made my stake in, but they wormed it out o' me before +that first meal was over. It was a merry meal, an' lasted about +three hours. I enjoyed it, but I made up my mind that if I took on +again, I was goin' to eat with the rest of the boys. I had allus et +with Barbie an' Jabez; but I didn't want to have any o' the outfit +get to thinkin' that I wasn't nothin' but a visitor. When bedtime +hove around, Jabez sez, "Well, you'll find your old room ready, +Happy." + +"Why, I reckon I'll sleep in the bunk shack from this on," sez I. + +"I reckon you won't," sez he. "You're worth more to me as a sort o' +reserve than you 'd be as a straight puncher, an' the' ain't no use +o' your gettin' so blame finicky all of a sudden. What's got into +you lately?" + +"Now, you knob' how it is, Jabez," sez I, "if I cut loose from the +rest o' the bunch, they're bound to talk about it an'--" + +"Let 'em talk," he snaps in. "Talk ain't expensive; but I don't +think they're a jealous lot. They all like you, Happy, an' I got a +sort of a suspicion that those who don't won't pester you overly +much. I ain't heard the straight of it, but I have heard some talk +about him overestimatin' his ability in the ridin' line. Now cut out +this nonsense an' just begin where you left off. Barbie here'll be +mighty glad of some company again." + +It didn't take 'em long to talk me into it--it generally is easy to +break down a man's will when it ain't braced up by his natural +desires; so after I'd balked as long as seemed polite, i settled +into the collar again an' trotted along just in the same old gait. + +It was just as I thought. Barbie was plumb wild to hear all those +college stories, an' the queer words that Ches used to talk with. +She asked me about a thousand questions that I wasn't sure on the +answers; but I made out to interest her, an' Jabez' face used to +beam when he'd hear her laugh ring out. + +We were sure a happy household; but I noticed mighty soon that +Barbie was more restless than ever; but also had more control over +herself. She wasn't so quick about either askin' questions nor +givin' answers as she used to be, an' she noticed things closer--an' +this was goin' some too; 'cause she allus did inspect everything +that came on her range. + +We had a gang o' tourists swoop down on us for a couple o' days, an' +it tickled me to see her watch 'em an' draw back in her shell any +time she thought they was watchin' her. I knew every line in her +face, an' mighty few of her thoughts came as a surprise when she +framed 'em into words. She never said it all now, unless she was het +up about something, an' I like to listen to any one 'at talks like +that. Her best thoughts were never accented, they just came in as +packin' like, an' it added to the interest. When a feller hands out +a little commonplace idy an' then sends along a couple o' verses to +tell what it means, I get weary; but when I'm able to see into +somethin' that lays too close to his heart to say out, an' too close +to forget, why I feel as if I had found a real jewel, an' that was +the way with Barbie. I knew that somethin' was tuggin' at her; but +when I found out exactly what it was, it came with almost as much of +a shock as if I hadn't known it was there all the time. + + + + +CHAPTER SIXTEEN + +THE HIGHER EDUCATION OF WOMAN + + +Barbie had grown some more, even durin' the little time 'at I'd been +away. She had got used to the new rig she wore an' wasn't a mite +awkward, an' her face was firmer an' more self-composed. She was +purtier too, though it don't seem possible. It even seems more +impossible when I tell ya that she looked more like of Cast Steel +than ever. He an' the girl was a heap alike, 'cept that he was big +an' raw-boned an' spare-featured; while she was as dainty as an +antelope, an' as far as looks went, she was the Queen Bee of +Creation, I reckon. + +When it came to ridin' a bucker or shootin' off an eye-winker or +expressin' herself free an' frank, she didn't have to import no +testimony to prove 'at she was his daughter either. She had him +skinned on ridin' though; 'cause while he was able to set anything +on four feet, he allus showed 'at he had begun late in life, an' he +sometimes jerked the bit unintentional; while she--well, I reckon +she must 'a' been born on hoss-back, an' besides, I had give her all +the pointers the' was. + +One mornin' about ten days after I'd come back, I heard 'em +discussin' purty heatedly out back of the corral; an' I just +sauntered over to harken to it. It wasn't a case of eavesdroppin', +'cause when them two had any comments to make they didn't care a +blue bean what the prevailin' style in opinions happened to be, they +nailed their own personal jedgments on the wall an' then stuck +around handy to back 'em up. I was particular anxious to know what +they was crossin' words over, 'cause I couldn't get it out o' my +head but what my comin' back an' findin' 'em peaceable betokened +something. + +Jabez was standin' with his feet wide apart, his hands on his hips, +his hat tilted over one ear, his chin stickin' out with the lips +pursed up, an' his eyes had a dogged look in 'em. Line by line an' +feature by feature, she shadowed him to the last item; an' neither +one of 'em saw a twinkle o' comicalness in it, neither. + +"Do you know who you're talkin' to?" he yells just as I arrived. +"I'm your father!" + +"What of it?" she snaps back. "It's too late to remedy that--I just +got to make the best of it. But do you know who you're talkin' to? +I'm the future owner of the Diamond Dot, an' I ain't a-layin' no +plans to have the lala-kadinks from the civilized parts o' this +country come out an' round up my langwidge, same as they gather +Injun speciments. You may be my father, but you can just bet your +saddle that before I reach the end o' my trail, a stranger won't be +able to guess it from our talk." + +Now the old man was mighty savin' with his cuss-words, a' he put out +a purty tol'able fair grade o' grammar; but the girl had an eye in +her head and an ear to listen with, an' she had been for a long time +takin' notice o' the side winks o' the Easterners. Some Easterners +put on their manners the same as their complexions, an' the open air +is apt to put cracks in 'em. + +The of man looked at her a good long while, but she never blinked a +winker; an' he finally turned away an' said in a soft-like voice, "I +know, child, I ain't been able to fill the part full measure--but it +ain't 'cause I haven't tried. I reckon you'll have to go, honey; but +it'll sure be lonesome while you're away; an' when you do come back +you'll never be my little kid any more." His voice kept gettin' +sadder an' sadder until I about snuffled myself when he continued +"I'll rub up my talk all I can while you're away, an' then if you +bring out any friends next summer you can tell 'em that I'm the +foreman an' that you let me eat in the house while your father is +takin' a trip to Europe." + +The ol' man would have played that part about as natural as a bull +buffalo, but he fooled himself into believin' it, an' his voice was +purty shaky at the end. Barbie's eyes filled up with tears, an' when +he stopped an' began to totter feebly toward the house, she ran up +an' threw her arms about his neck, an' said. "Dad. I just hate you-- +you don't play fair. You start the game under one set o' rules an' +then when you get the worst of it you just simply crawfish. When we +were sayin' mean things out in the open, I just natchly put it all +over you; an' now you flop over on your back an' work that 'coals o' +fire' stunt, an' I just hate you. You know in your heart I'd be +proud of you in any company on earth, but the' is a heap o' +difference between you an' me. You have been successful, an' +strangers will respect you for it; but it's got to be a show-down +with me every time. If I don't learn the new gaits, so a stranger +will think I'm city-broke, some fresh tourist is apt to get the idee +that I'm as uncivilized as my manners, an' it won't do to tramp on +my toes--not overly often. But I don't have to leave you. I'll just +turn in an' do the job right here on the ranch, an' accordin' to the +very latest models. You get me a lot o' books an' all the magazines +an' fashion papers, an' hanged if I don't turn out a job 'at'll fool +the best of 'em. You're a mean old Daddy, you are, for a fact; but +we snake too dandy a duet for me to go away an' leave you to grind +out a solo all alone. But--but I sure wanted to go." + +Well, Jabez grinned all over; but I saw that he wasn't through with +it so easy. Barbie wasn't the one to throw her rope before she was +all braced for the jerk, an' the' wouldn't be any kinks in her +logic, neither. She had thrown a purty stout string of arguments, +an' I was full prepared when they told me that he was to have his +way about it, an' she was to go to college that very fall. + +She did go in less'n a month to a prep-school clear down East. A +prep-school is a sort of a calf college, you know; an' she had to +train there a solid year before they had the nerve to turn her loose +on a full-grown university. But she had a head on her, Barbie had; +an' when she got squared away, she made 'em all get down an' +scratch. They do say that she put more life an' vim in that +institution than anybody what had ever give it a work-out before. + +Ol' Cast Steel went down twice the first winter, an' never let her +know 'at he was in the neighborhood, for fear it would make her +think 'at he was pinin' for her. He just went down there an' bought +some store clothes an' prowled around waitin' for the chance to see +her at a distance--never even lined out the professors to see if +they were doin' their duty, nor mixed in the game the slightest bit. +Talk about bein' game? I reckon that puts a shadow on anything ever +that man had to face. + +She used to come back every summer, bringin' a lot of chums an' all +kinds o' pets with her. She was just daffy over any kind of a wild +animal from an Injun papoose to a white mouse; an' when she'd go +back in the fall, Jabez had his hands full with parrots an' +alligators an' butterfly coons an' sech--to say nothin' of a lot of +potted flowers what was mighty notionable in their tastes. + +I was so busy tendin' to this branch o' the outfit that about all +the ridin' I did was for exercise--yes, an' for company, 'cause it +allus seemed as if she was along when I'd be out on the range. Then, +again, I allus felt a kind of drawin', myself, to the silent people, +who think an' wish an' feel, just the same as we do, but aren't able +to handle our langwidge. I got so I could purt' nigh tell what an +animal had on his mind, just from tendin' to her speciments. + +She had one speciment which was a possom, an' the blame thing bit me +eight times one winter, me tryin' to give it baths--an' then she +wrote back home that the doggone critter didn't need'em nohow. She +purt'nigh got expended for takin' a rattlesnake back to the +university an' keepin' it hid in her room; an' after I'd had a deuce +of a time catchin' 'em, they made her send a bob-cat an' a mountain +lion to some kind of a garden--wouldn't let her keep 'em at all. The +professors allus was a sore trial to her, but once she began a thing +she allus fought it through, so she put up with 'em the best way she +could. + +She used to tell us that bein' housed up like to 'a' drove her crazy +at first, an' they was so tarnation fussy that she felt like a +hobbled pony in a stampede. They wouldn't even let her picket her +ponies out in what they call the campus, which she said was just +drippin' fat with rich grass, an' nary a hoof to graze it. Why, they +even had fool notions about havin' certain hours about goin' to bed, +an' even when you had to put your lights out. + +One night she got fidgety an' nervous with the lonesomeness of it, +an' she got up about one o'clock an' fired her revolvers out the +window,--just for sport, you know, like a feller sometimes will when +he's--well, when his soul gets kind o' itchy like,--an' it purt' +nigh started a riot. She said 'at we wouldn't never believe how +different the people was down there. I reckon a university must be +run a good bit like a penitentiary. But as I said, she wasn't no +quitter, an' I reckon, takin' it all in all, she give 'em back about +as good as they sent. + +Course we could see a lot o' change in her when she'd first come +back, but it seemed to slide off as the tan came on, an' by the time +she left in the fall again she'd be purty much the same old Barbie. +She went full five years, countin' the prep-school, an' I don't +suppose they was much in the way o' learnin' they didn't filter +through her; but it didn't spoil her, an' the very moment her knees +clamped on a pony again you could see that her blood was as red as +ever, even if her face was roses an' cream. My heart allus beat out +of time when I knew she was headin' back; but the very minute she +gave my hand the old-time grip I knew she was still the old-time +girl, an' when she'd turn to the chums an' say, "Girls, this is +Happy," why, I was big brother to the lot, an' before they went back +I'd teach 'em ridin' till they could giggle on hoss-back without +fallin' off. They all owned up that she was the takin'est girl at +the university, and while her pals was a mighty attractive lot, they +didn't have to use any arguments to convince me it was the truth. + +She allus left me so much to do when she was away that I never felt +like leavin' through the winter; while durin' vacation time I +wouldn't have gone without bein' drove; but toward the middle of her +fourth year, me an' Bill Andrews had another little run in. + +We was havin' a terrible streak of weather, an' Bill wanted to move +a herd over to the southwest corner of the ranch where the' was some +extra good bunch grass. It was a wise move all right, an' I said so; +but when he wanted me to help trail 'em, I vetoed it. I was watchin' +up some experiments with silkworms an' I didn't want to leave 'em. +We were short-handed an' Jabez 'lowed 'at I'd better go. Well, we +argued back an' forth until he finally said that he could take full +care o' the silkworms, an' intimated that my work with 'em wasn't +much but pastime, anyway. + +That settled it with me. I helped drive the herd, an' it was the +bitterest weather we'd ever had. The sleet blew in the cow's faces +an' it was simply one long fight. Three o' the boys gave up an' +pulled back to the ranch house, but not me. I don't believe I slept +on that drive, night or day, an' when, the boys finally told Bill +Andrews that it couldn't be done, I told 'em that it could, an' that +if any more of 'ern dropped out I'd count it a personal insult. We +got 'em there all right, an' then I rode back to the ranch house. + +Jabez had let the silkworms die--an' I told him what I thought of +him, an' pulled out. It was cold weather an' I was travelin' on +foot, but it wasn't cold I was suffer in' from, it was heat. + + + + +CHAPTER SEVENTEEN + +IN RETIREMENT + + +I plugged along through the cold, gettin' hotter an' hotter all the +time, 'cause I didn't want to go away at all. Barbie'd be home in a +few months and I wanted to be there when she came--but I couldn't +get over those silkworms. She was goin' to write somethin' about 'em +for some kind of a paper, an' it meant a good deal to her, an' I had +kept a record of all the projec's she'd written me to do with 'em-- +only to have Cast Steel an' flint fool Bill Andrews flounder in with +that herd o' cows. + +I piked on over to Danders thinkin' I'd get on a train an' go +somewhere; but on my way there I met the foreman o' the E. Z. outfit +ridin' into town to see if he couldn't pick up a fence-rider. Then I +see old Mrs. Fate nudgin' me in the ribs with her finger again. We +was all down on fences at the Diamond Dot. Jabez said that as far as +he was concerned, he preferred to have his fences mounted on hoss- +back, 'cause they was easiest moved, an' we didn't have a foot o' +wire on the place. I knew that no one would ever think o' me ridin' +fence, so I just up an' spoke for the job. The foreman, Hank Midders +was his name, didn't know me an' he was suspicious of me bein' on +foot. "Can you ride?" sez he. + +"I used to could," sez I. "How many days' ridin' does it take to go +around?" + +"We don't ride that way," sez he, "we put two men in a camp an' they +ride out fifteen miles an' then double back." "They waste the return +trip," sez I. + +"We think different," sez he. "We keep a big run o' cows, an' we +want the whole fence rode twice a day. We allus have plenty o' good +ridin' ponies." + +"Well, they ain't ridin' on my time," sez I, "so it ain't nothing to +me. Do I get the job?" + +"Where you been ridin' at?" sez he. + +"At the Lion Head, for Jim Jimison," sez I. + +"I've seen some o' their stuff," sez he. "It's a good outfit; but +it's a rather lengthy walk from here." + +"Yes, I stopped off a while in Californie an' Idaho to rest," sez I. +"Do I get the job?" + +"We don't find a man's saddle an' bridle for him," sez he. + +"I got mine cached over at Danders," sez I, recallin' the ones I had +left there before I went into business. + +"What's your name?" sez he. + +"I ain't nowise choicy," sez I, "call me anything you want." + +"I guess you won't do," sez he, ridin' on into Danders. + +I reached it myself about two hours later, an' went to the hotel. +Hank was settin' by the stove when I came into the bar-room. The' +was eight or ten other fellers still restin' from last summer's +work, but I didn't see the old landlord. "Where's Peabody?" sez I. + +"He's dead," sez a tall, snarley lookin' feller; "what do ya want +with him?" + +"I don't want nothin' with him--if he's dead," sez I. "Who's runnin' +this place now?" + +"I am," sez the snarley one. I didn't take to him at all. + +"Would you be so kind enough as to tell me where my saddle an' +bridle is?" sez I in my softest voice. "What the 'ell do I know +about your saddle an' bridle?" sez he. + +"I left 'em here with Peabody," sez I. + +"How would I know it was yours?" sez he, sneerin'. + +"I'd recognize it," sez I. "It had H. H. burned into it." + +"What does H. H. stand for?" sez he. + +"It stands for Henry Higinson--sometimes," sez I. Then I turned to +the bar mop an' said, "Where's that saddle an' bridle?" + +"Why, it's back in--" he began; but Snarley snaps in "You shut up, +will ya? Even if this puncher did leave an old saddle here years +ago, I bought everything on the place from Peabody, an' the storage +on the rubbish would amount to more than it's worth." + +"That 's kind o' new doctrine out this way," sez I; "an' I'm 'bliged +to request you to produce the articles so I can claim 'em up." + +"You go ahead an' make me do it," sez he, grinnin'. + +"Wouldn't you sooner do it of your own free will?" sez I, like a +missionary tryin' to get up enthusiasm over a donation. + +"I'm good an' sick o' your fool nonsense," sez he, comin' down +toward me. I was wearin' a gun on each leg, an' I pulled 'em out an' +punctuated both his ears at one time; but I never stopped smilin'. +He grabbed an ear in each hand an' begun to swear in a foreign +langwidge, dancin' around most comical. "Won't you please get my +leather for me," sez I, "or would you sooner have me guess off the +center o' those two shots?" + +"Yes," he roared, usin' a lot o' high-power words 'at ain't needful +in repetin', "take your blame junk an' get out o' here." I nodded to +the bar mop. "Shall I get 'em, Frenchy?" sez he. + +"Yes, for heaven's sake, get 'em," sez the snarley one, while some +o' the boys snickered, but not too noticeable. + +Well, they was my saddle an' bridle all right, an' I thanked the bar +mop an' flung 'em in a corner. Then I went over an' sat down by Hank +Midders. "Did you get your fence-rider yet?" sez I. + +"No, I ain't got him yet, but I got two days to look for him in," he +sez. + +Just then who should come in but the same old Diamond Dot hand who +had beat me out of the pony. "Well, sign my name! If there ain't +Happy Hawkins!" sez he, rushin' over an' shakin' my hand, "Still in +business, Happy?" sez he. + +"Nope, I've retired," sez I. + +"You'd ought to have stuck around here until that tourist went home +from his vacation," sez Bill,--I reckon his name was still Bill, +though for the life o' me I can't remember it plain,--"he got the +whole town hilarious on account o' the joke we'd played on him. He +was game all right, an' he got me a job out to his uncle's, which +I've held ever since--off an' on." + +"Happy?" sez Hank Midders, "Happy what?" + +"Happy Hawkins," sez Bill. "Haven't you never heard o' Happy +Hawkins?" + +"Happy Hawkins is down in the Texas-Pan Handle," sez I, in a matter- +o'-fact voice. "Don't forget that, Bill." + +"Surest thing there is," sez Bill, winkin'. "I seen him get on the +train myself." + +"When will supper be ready, Frenchy?" I sez to the snarley one, who +had been puttin' some grease on his ears an' wishin' he'd had better +manners. + +"In about an hour," sez he, an' I knew the' wouldn't be any more +trouble from him. He was one o' these fellers what can take a +lickin' without gettin' all broke up over it, an' he'd be just as +gay about bluffin' the next stranger as ever, an' he'd be just as +dominatin' over them what he had already bluffed. + +"Well, I'm goin' out for a little stroll," sez I, "but I'll be back +in time for supper, an' I'll likely be hungry." + +I knew they'd all want to ask a few questions, so I went outside an' +walked down the street. I couldn't make up my mind what to do, an' I +wanted that fence-ridin' job more than ever. When T turned around to +come back, I see Hank Midders walkin' toward me. "So you're Happy +Hawkins?" sez he. + +"Well, that's what some folks call me," sez I. + +"I thought 'at you had finally settled down at the Diamond Dot?" sez +he. + +"The' ain't nothin' that I know of that changes any oftener than the +style in thoughts," sez I. "Do you think it's goin' to snow?" + +He laughed. "You're Happy Hawkins all right," sez he. "Do you want +that fence-ridin' job?" + +"That's what I went to the trouble o' rootin' out that saddle an' +bridle for," sez I, "but I don't care to have it advertised that I'm +ridin' fence at my time o' life, an' I don't promise to continue at +it more'n a few months." + +"I see," sez he, "an' it'll be all right. Kid Porter'll be down with +the buckboard day after to-morrow, an' you can go out with him." + +When I went back I see that Bill hadn't spared no details to make me +interestin', an' all the boys was friendly to me--an' called me +Higinson. Me an' Frenchy got along all right, an' when I threw my +saddle an' bridle into the back o' the buckboard, an' sez, "Well, +good-bye, fellers! I'm on my way to the Pan Handle," they all calls +out, "Goodbye, Happy! If any o' your friends inquire for you we'll +tell 'em we saw you start; but the next time you come this way, +Higinson, don't forget to drop in for a little sport." + +Things generally even up pretty well in this life, an' before we had +driven very far I was able to see where I had got full value out o' +that seven-dollar pony 'at Bill had beat me out of. Kid Porter +explained things to me an' I saw it was goin' to be a purty fair +sort of a layout. Our shack was closer to Danders than it was to +headquarters, so we got our needin's there. He said that Colonel +Scott was an allright man to work for, but that he'd only seen him +once since he'd been on the job. + +Ridin' fence is about as excitin' as waitin' for sun-up, an' after a +couple of months at it I was feelin' the need of a little change, so +I drove down to Danders the first day of April, an' while I was +standin' on the platform watchin' the train pull in an' take water, +a cute little feller dismounted an' after givin' me a complete look- +over, he sez: "Me good man, are you a type of this comunity?" + +I put my hand to my ear as though I had heard a noise close to the +ground. After a bit I let my gaze rest on him sort o' surprised +like, an' then I sez in a soft, oozy voice, like a cow conversin' to +her first calf, "Be you speakin' to me, little one?" sez I. + +It allus riles me some, to be called "me good man." It seems to give +me a curious, itchy feelin' in the right hand, an' I have had to +make several extra peculiar speciments dance a few steps for no +other reason; but this little cuss never batted an eye. He looks me +square in the face, an' sez, "It is perfectly obious that I could be +addressin' nobody else. I am out in the West hunting for a place to +study the most pronounced types of American citizens, an' I am very +favorable impressed with your appearance." + +Did you ever have a stranger brace you like that? I suppose the fat +lady an' the livin' skeleton gets used to it, but I allus feel a +trifle too big for my background. I stand six foot two an' dress +easy an' comfortable, an' some o' the guys on the trains allus seem +to think 'at I'm part of the show, out for an airin'. + +"Well, to tell you the truth, honey," I sez to the little feller, "I +ain't fully maychured yet. We get hair on our faces pretty young out +here, but we don't get our growth till we're twenty-five. I'm water- +boy to the E. Z. outfit. If you want to see somethin' worth lookin' +at, you ought to come out where the men are. You'll find American +citizens out there, a darn sight harder type to pronounce than what +I am. They sent me to town on an errant." + +He examined me, but I never blinked a winker, an' then his face lit +up, like as if he'd found a whole plug of tobacco, when he thought +his last chew was gone. Finally he gave a wink an' a chuckle, an' +sez, "Here, smoke a cigar on me, an' tell me if I can get board out +your way. I think you'll make copy." + +He was just what I needed as a time-killer, so I spun him a yarn +about the lovely life me an' Kid Porter was livin'. We jerked out +his trunk just before the train left, bought a month's grub, an' +came along out to our shack. His name was William Sinclair +Hammersly, an' the' never was a squarer boy on the face o' the +earth, after he'd shed off those spectator ways. He won my +affections, as the storybooks say, before we was out o' sight o' +Danders. + +He said he had relations scattered all over the British Empire, an' +owned up that he had just come back from a long visit to England, +where he had picked up the "good man" habit. I told him that it +might suit that climate all right, but that out our way I couldn't +recommend it to a peace-lovin' man for every-day use. He thanked me +an' said he was ashamed to know so little about his own country, +this bein' the first time he had ever been west of Philadelphia. He +said that he was minded to become an author, an' had come out to +study the aboriginal types an' get the true local color. Whenever I +hear this little bunch o' sounds, I know I got a nibble. Any time a +man goes nosin' around after local color, you can bet your saddle +he's got several zigzags in his think-organ. + +These fellers is a breed to themselves. I wouldn't exactly call 'em +wise--wordy'd come a sight nearer fittin' these local-color fellers +without wrinklin'. The''s a ringin' in my ears yet from the time +that I was penned up with Hammy an' Locals, an' this one had a good +many o' the same outward an' visible signs, but more o' the inward +an' spiritual grace, as Friar Tuck sez. + +Bill slid right into our mode of livin' like a younger brother, but +it took us some consid'able time to savvy his little private +oddities. The' was one wide bunk in the shack an' one narrow one. Me +an' Bill took the wide one, but it wasn't so eternal wide that a +feller could flop around altogether accordin' to the dictates of his +own conscience. When she was carryin' double we had to hold a little +consultation of war, to see whether we'd turn over or not. + +We used to start out early in the mornin', an' if the' wasn't much +fixin' to be done we got back long before dark. About seven-thirty +was our perchin' time before Bill took a hand, but after that we got +so convivual that sometimes we'd sit up till purt' nigh half-past +nine, playin' cut-throat an' swappin' tales. Sleep allus was a kind +of a nuisance to Bill. Purt' nigh every night when me an' the Kid +would stretch ourselves out, Bill would speak a piece about "God +bless the man what first invented sleep"; but he was only joshin', +an' all the time he was sayin' it he'd be buildin' up the fire an' +changin' his clothes. He had one suit which he never wore for +nothin' except just to sleep in. Pajamers, he called 'em, an' they +sure was purty. + +Well, he'd put on this suit an' a pair o' red-pointed slippers, +light his pipe, pick his guitar, an' saw his fiddle till along +toward mornin', all the while singin' little batches o' song an' +speakin' pieces. Then he'd heave a sigh an' lay down alongside o' +me; but in about fifteen minutes he'd jump out o' bed, sayin', +"That's good! That's great! I mustn't lose that!" an' he'd get out a +book an' write something into it. Sometimes he'd laugh over it an' +sometimes he'd cry. + +The Kid'd never had no experiences with geniuses before, an' at +first he feared that he might get violent durin' the night, so he +took his gun to bed with him, but I knowed the' wasn't a mite o' +danger in him. When breakfast was ready we purt' nigh had to get a +hoss to pull him out o' bed. + +I was interested in his tales of foreign countries, an' he used to +tell me all about the castles he had been to. One day I happened to +think of the letter what the drug clerk at Slocum's Luck had wrote +us, an' I asked Bill what kind of a lookin' place Clarenden Castle +was. "Clarenden Castle?" sez Bill. "Where the deuce did you ever +hear of Clarenden Castle?" + +"Well, I might have heard of it from the younger son," sez I. "He +came over to this country, you know." + +"Where is he now?" sez Bill, mighty interested. + +"Minin' law is, that the first feller what stakes out a claim gets +it," sez I. "Now my question staked out the first claim. You answer +my questions an' then we'll be ready for yours." + +"Humph," sez Bill. + +"Where is St. James Court, Bill?" sez I. + +"Well, I never expected you to know anything about such things!" sez +Bill. + +"'Tis wonderful how intelligent some trained animals are, ain't it?" +sez I, sarcastic. "But you must remember, little one, that I've been +livin' right in the house with folks a good part of my life. Now if +you'll just answer my questions the same as if I was human, I'll sit +up an' beg, jump over a stick, an' do all my other tricks for you." + +Bill would allus tumble if you hit him hard enough, so after a bit +he grinned an' said, "Well, Clarenden Castle is one o' the seats of +the Cleighton family--" + +"Seat?" sez I. "I allus thought it was a house." + +"You see, over in England they call--" Bill began to explain it to +me an' then he saw me grinnin' an' he broke off short. "I know what +a seat is, Bill," sez I. "They have country seats an' town seats; +but some o' you fellers pout when you're obliged to live up to the +rules, an' I wanted to see if you was square enough to own up after +you'd been shown--the's lots o' fellers, not as well edicated as +you, who can't do it without groanin'." + +Bill studied out this last remark before he answered, an' I was glad +to notice it. Most fellers look for a marked passage, but I like to +train 'em out to pan everything I say, an' then do their own +testin'. Bill was all right. "Now, dear teacher," sez he, "if we are +through with that lesson, we shall return to the original subject." +We both laughed, lookin' into each other's eyes, an' it did us good. + +"Now this Cleighton family is a great family in England and +Scotland," sez Bill, "The Earl of Clarenden is the head of one +branch an' the Duke of Avondale is the head of another. The sons are +called lords, an' they have lots of land, but are running shy on +money, an' the main stem of the family is getting purty well thinned +out." + +"About this younger son that came to America, now?" sez I. + +"Well, the present Earl married beneath him--I visited close to +Clarenden Castle, an' I know all about it," sez Bill. "He married an +American girl with lots of money, Florence Jamison of Philadelphia." + +"Jamison?" sez I. + +"Yes, Jamison," sez Bill. "I suppose you are well acquainted with +the Philadelphia Jamisons?" + +"Well, that name does awaken a purty tol'able fairsized echo," sez +I, "but still, to be perfectly frank with you, me an' the Jamisons +ain't on what you could call intimate terms any more." + +"I'm glad to learn it," sez Bill. "I'd hate to think that I had +irritated you by implicatin' that it was a come-down for an English +Earl to marry into your circle." Bill most generally squoze all the +dampness out of his jokes. "This was his second marriage," Bill went +on, "an' he had one son by it, named James Arthur Fitzhugh Patrick-- +" + +"That's plenty for me," sez I, breakin' in. "The first two names is +interestin' to me, but the' ain't no use loadin' down a feller with +names till he has to pay excess baggage on 'em. Now, how did this +one get to be a younger son?" + +"Why, the first marriage of the Earl also resulted in a son," sez +Bill. "His first wife was a lady of quality, but she had a weak +constitution an' the son has epolepsy. The younger son was fitted +for the army, but he got into a scrape, was given a lump sum by his +father, an' came to this country, where he disappeared. He also had +an inheritance from an aunt, a maiden sister of his mother, who +didn't like the first son for a minute." + +"What kind of a scrape did the youngster get into, Bill?" sez I. + +"He was engaged to the daughter of the curat at Avondale Chapel," +sez Bill, "an' he bein' the heir presumptive to the title--" + +"What is that, Bill?" sez I. + +"The one what gets the title as soon as the one who is holding it, +dies, is the heir apparent, an' the one who gets the next chance is +the heir presumptive. It's a legal term an'--" + +"Never mind explainin' it then," sez I, "If I was to live as long as +Methusleh, all I'd know about law would be that ignorance wasn't no +excuse for it; but what is a curat?" + +"A curate is a sort of preacher," sez Bill. + +"I thought it was some kind of a doctor. But what in thunder did you +mean when you said that gettin' engaged to the daughter of one was a +scrape?" sez I. + +"Why, it wouldn't do for the heir presumptive to Clarenden, and a +possible claimant to Avondale, to get engaged to a person in that +station of life; he had to make up either to a heap of money or else +a big title; he simply had to marry a lady of quality," sez Bill. + +"So he could contribute his share of epolepsy to the family +collection," I suppose," sez I. + +"Well, James gets an awful callin' down," sez Bill, "an' he cuts +loose from the family an' goes to live in London, where he's a +leftenant. Richard Cleighton, his cousin, who is the heir +presumptive, once removed, sneaks down there an' comes back with the +report that James is married to Alice LeMoyne, a music-hall dancer." + +Jim swung purty wide in his taste for women, didn't he?" sez I. + +"The upshot of it was," sez Bill, never heedin' me, "that they +settled with James, an' he lit out--his mother had died several +years before. About four years after, this Alice LeMoyne dies, an, +on her deathbed she confesses that she is the wife of Richard +Cleighton an' helped to put up the job on James to get him out of +the way, as the heir apparent didn't look like a long-liver, an' she +thought she would like to be an Erless, with a chance of being a +Duchess even." + +An' you mean to tell me that this low-grade Dick Cleighton puts up +that job on Jim, just so he can beat him to the title?" sez I. + +"Yes," sez Bill, "you see he was the heir presumptive, only once +removed." + +"Well, if I'd had the job o' removin'," sez I, "once, would 'a' been +plenty." + +"That put Richard out o' the runnin'," sez Bill, "Lord Wilfred, the +apparent, was livin' along all right, an' the old Earl had come to +the conclusion that when it came to a presumptive, he'd sooner have +Jim; so he turned the hose on Dick, an' started out to find Jim. Jim +wrote 'em from New York that he was goin' to South Africa, an' then +he wrote 'em from Australia that he was goin' to India, an' then he +wrote 'em from--" + +"Oh, those was only jokes," sez I. "Jim's all right; but what become +of Dick?" + +"Nobody knows," sez Bill, "an' nobody cares. He's got lots better +health than Lord Wilfred, but he's got some epolepsy, too, an' he's +a mean sneak. His mother was insane, but she left him a little bunch +of money." + +"She must have had more quality than the average of 'em;" sez I, +"but hanged if I wouldn't sooner do without the quality than to have +all that epolepsy thrown in with it. Jim's all right though, I'll +say that for the breed." + +"Yes, Jim was a fine feller from all accounts," sez Bill, "but where +the Jink did you meet up with him?" + +"It's a state secret," sez I, "or I'd let you in. Jim's doin' fine +an' I wouldn't for the world have him dragged down where he'd have +to marry up with a lot o' quality. Now while you're givin' your +concert, I'm goin' out an' check up the stars." + +I was purty yell pleased with Bill. I had bothered him all I could +in the tellin' an' yet he had kept his temper an' handed out the +facts; an' I wanted to go over 'em forward an' hack till I could get +the full hang of 'em. It was wonderful queer how a ridin' man like +me had brushed shoulders, as you might say, with the Earl of +Clarenden, an' I was beginnin' to think that old Mrs. Fate was +stirrin' things up a shade extra. As a usual thing I don't go into +scandal an' gossip so prodigious; but I was hungry to have another +look at Jim, now that I knew he was the son of an Earl, an' I +decided to pull out an' give the Pan Handle a look-over as soon as +it was handy. I spent about two hours that night lookin' at the +stars an' wishin' they could tell me all they'd ever seen. They knew +all that Barbie wanted to know, an' I didn't seem able to git on the +track, in spite of me readin' detective stories every chance I had. + + + + +CHAPTER EIGHTEEN + +CUPID + + +Well, I didn't go down to the Pan Handle after all. I just fatten on +a new variety of entertainment an' the sample that Bill was puttin' +out amused me to the limit. Me an' Bill drove down to Danders on the +first o' May to get some grub. Most o' this breed has a purty +tol'able active thirst, but Bill was unusual harmless when it came +to storin' away liquor. About the only excitement Danders held out +to a temperance crank was goin' down to the depot to watch the train +come in. This time the west-bound had to take a sidin' and wait +twenty minutes for the cast bound; an' a feller got his dog out o' +the baggage car an' started to climb the mountains. + +You fellers all know how this air is, but a stranger thinks he can +spit on a mountain that's ten miles off. When the whistle blew, he +made a good run an' got on all right; but the pup was havin' the +time of his life an' missed his chance of gettin' on the same car +that the feller did. He was game all right an' give a purty jump +onto the front platform of the last car, where a big buck nigger was +standin' with a white coat on. He give the pup a kick under the chin +an' sent him rollin' over backward. + +"Why, the vile wretch!" yells Bill, at the same time snatchin' my +gun out of the holster. I had barely time to bump up his arm, an' +even as it was he knocked the paint off right above the coon's head. +Bill turned on me with his eyes snappin' sparks, an' in a voice as +cold as the click of a Winchester, he sez, "Next time, John Hawkins, +I'll thank you to mind your own business." An' he held the gun kind +o' friendly like, with the muzzle pointin' at my watch pocket. + +I own up I was jarred; he'd been as gentle as a butterfly up to that +minute, an' here he was lookin' into me with the chilly eyes of a +killin' man; but I put a little edge on my own voice an' sez, +"Heretofore, I allus counted it my business to look after what my +own gun was engaged in doin'. When you're sure that you're all +through with it, I'll thank you to return it to where you found it." + +Then I turned on my heel an' strode up toward town; but be grabbed +me by the shoulder an' whirled me around. "Here's your gun, Happy." +sez he. "You know I didn't aim to offend you. It was that confounded +Zulu 'at riled me up." + +The pup had give up his chase after the train an' was comin' back +the track to town, lookin' mighty down in the mouth--he had a purty +prominent mouth, too, the pup had. He was a brindle bull; not one o' +these that look like an Injun idol, but a nice, clean-built, +upstandin' feller with a quiet, business-like air. + +"Purty tough on the pup to be turned out to starve this way," sez I. + +"Who's goin' to let him starve?" sez Bill. "Come here, old feller." +"Better look out," sez I, "bulldogs is fierce." + +"So is men," sez Bill; "an' besides, this ain't no bulldog, this is +a London brindle bull-terrier, an' a crackerjack. Look at the brass +collar he's wearin'. This is ain't no stray. I'll telegraph ahead +an' see if they want him expressed." + +Bill caught the feller at the next station, an' he telegraphed back +that he'd been havin' trouble with the pup all along the line; an' +if we'd keep him a month, he'd stop an' get him on his way back. He +sent us ten dollars to pay expenses. I never believed that they +could send money by telegraph before; but I saw the agent give it to +Bill, with my own eyes. + +We all went to the hotel for dinner, the pup lookin' miserable +sorrowful. Frenchy was goin' to kick the pup out--he was a low-grade +heathen, but he was big an' he didn't mind a little trouble now and +again. + +"If this dog can't eat here, neither can I," sez Bill, "but as for +your kickin' him out, you 'd better pray for guidance before you +tackle that job." + +"Do you think I'm afraid o' that cur?" sneers Frenchy. + +"Cur!" yells Bill. "Cur? Why you maul-headed, misshapen blotch on +the face o' nature, what do you mean by callin' this dog a cur! I +never saw this dog before to-day; but I'll bet ten to one that I can +find out who his great-great-grandfather's great-great-grandfather +was; an' I doubt if you know who your own father happened to be." + +Bill was firin' at random o' course, but it looked as if he had hit +somethin'. Frenchy was fair crazy. He pulled out his gun an' came +chargin' down on us. Bill tried to get mine again, but I thought I'd +better run it myself just then. I covered Frenchy, Frenchy covered +Bill, an' the bull pup turned his back on us and looked down toward +the depot, to see if his train was comin' back. + +"Better put up your gun, Frenchy," I sez, soft as a wood dove, "or +you'll get this office all mussed up." + +Well, he knew me; so we arbitrated a little an' then we all went in +an' the pup et his dinner like any other Christian, payin' for it +himself out of his own money. First thing after dinner, Bill went +out an' bought a gun of his own, an' I scented trouble. He wasn't +old enough to shoot only from principle, not merely for practice. + +The' was another young feller at Frenchy's with a lot o' hot money +in his clothes. He seemed to have a deep-felt prejudice against +fire, too, the way he was blowin' it in. When Bill came back, the +young feller tried to buy the dog from him. Bill was polite an' +refused to sell, givin' as the main reason that the dog didn't fully +belong to him yet, but the feller pestered around until finally he +offered Bill two hundred dollars for the dog. + +"You ain't no fool when it comes to a dog," sez Bill, "but I'm +givin' you the honest truth. This here pup don't belong to me-- +though if I can buy him I sure intend to do it." + +"How far would you go when it came to payin' for him?" sez the man. + +"Well, I'd give two fifty for him just on speculation," sez Bill. +"He's put together, this pup is; but I didn't suppose 'at you people +out here in the cattle country would know enough about the points of +a dog, to offer two hundred for just a fancy one." + +"I don't know nothin' about the points o' that dog," sez the feller. +"I never even saw a dog like that one before; but when I see a man +willin' to go the pace you went for this dog, I'd kind o' sort o' +like to own the dog." + +Bill got interested in the feller an' began pumpin' him for what he +called copy. The young feller had punched cattle most of his life, +blowin' in his wages at variegated intervals. About a month before +he had slipped over to Laramie an' had gone against Silver Dick's +game, winnin' over eleven hundred dollars. He said that Silver Dick +was plumb on the square an' that he never intended to work again, +just spend down to his last hundred an' then go an' play at Silver +Dick's. Bill got a paper an' figured out what he called percents, +showin' how an outsider was bound to lose to the game in the end; +but most o' the fellers there had been up against Dick's game an' +they took sides against Bill, tryin' to prove that they stood a show +to win, until finally Bill give it up an' we started back home. + +When we started home, Bill was still discoursin' about us +Westerners. He said that we wasn't nothin' but a lot o' children +playin' games an' believin' in fairy tales, that we never provided +for the future, that we was allus willin' to risk anything we had on +some fool thing that wouldn't benefit us none, an' so on until I got +weary of it, an' after I'd took a shuffle I dealt him out this hand. + +"An' the''s another breed," sez I, "that ain't nothin' but children +an' that's the writers. An idea comes along an' stings 'em like a +bee, an' they immejetly begin to swell. They swell an' swell until +the whole earth ain't nothin' but the background for that bee-sting. +They howl about it as if it was the most important thing in +creation; but if you call around next week, you find that swellin' +gone down an' they're howlin' just as fierce over a new swellin' +where a different idea has stung 'em; ain't it so?" + +"Not exactly," sez Bill; "for we set down our thoughts an' emotions +while we're smartin' from the sting an' the other fellers can get +the sense of 'em an' pass judgment on 'em in cold blood without +gettin' stung at all." + +"Well, you landed there," sez I, "but the' wasn't one o' those +fellers there to-day, who was a quarter whit more childish'n what +you was. Talk about providin' For their future! Why, the way you +went on over this stray pup, purt' nigh put you in the position of a +man who didn't have no future to provide for, an' what in thunder +good can this here pup ever do you, no matter what happens?" + +The pup was sittin' with his head between Bill's knees, an' Bill +pulled his ear a time or two, an' then sez, "I reckon you're right; +the whole earth ain't nothin' but a kindergarten. We all play +different games an' when you stop an' look at it they all cost about +the same in the end an' they all bring in about the same profit; but +I'm glad I'm livin' anyhow; an' I'm glad I've got this dog. I'm +special fond o' dogs." + +You couldn't help likin' Bill; he allus played in the open an' when +he kept score, he give you all the points you made without fussin' +over 'em; but I didn't like the look o' that new outfit on his hip. +He was too impulsive to carry a gun, an' he was too young. Take it +when a man has had some experience in gun-fightin', he gets purty +sober over the effect of it; but a young feller--well, who on earth +knows what way a young feller is goin' to jump when he gets touched +up a little? + +"That's a purty likely lookin' gun you got there, Bill," sez I. "Do +you savvy how to run one?" + +He took it out of his pocket an' looked around, but the' wasn't +nothin' in sight that needed killin', so he began to pop at an old +single-tree lyin' about thirty yards away. The ponies were trottin' +along purty jerky, but hanged if he didn't hit it four times out of +six. + +"It don't just hang to suit me," sez Bill, "but I'll learn it after +a bit." + +I looked at him a moment, but he was merely speakin' his mind, an' I +sez: "Bill, where in Goshen did you get to be a killin' man?" + +"Me?" sez Bill. "I never shot a man in my life, but I used to knock +down glass balls purty accurate, an' I've hunted big game in Africa +an' India. I don't want no trouble, but I'm set in my ways about +dogs. It's a heap o' responsibility to raise a pup; but I'm goin' to +give this one a fair show, an' I'm goin' to own him some way or +another--I feel it in my bones that this here dog was sent to me. I +had a dog, the livin' picture o' this feller once, an' he traded his +life for mine, out there in the Indian Jungle. Now don't ask me any +questions about it." + +That night after we'd got the supper things red up, Bill sez; "Now I +don't want no one to punish this dog but me, till he gets his +edication. I don't care a bean for a trick dog; all I expect him to +learn is jest English an' a part o' the sign langwidge, so as he'll +be pleasant company an' useful in an emergency. I'll pay for any +property he destroys, but please don't punish him." + +The pup was about fifteen months old when he came, an' at first he +sorrowed a heap for his old boss; but purty soon he see that Bill +knew more about dogs'n he did himself, so he just transferred his +affections over to Bill. Bill never raised his voice, he never +whipped him nor even threatened him; he just reasoned with him an' +explained why it was necessary to learn the conventionalities o' +polite society. It took him a solid week to learn that pup how to +shake hands, an' yet Bill told us confidential that he was certain +that the pup knew it all the while; but at the end of the week the +pup gave in, an' from that on he was as eager for knowledge as a +new-born baby. + +Cupid was the name of the pup, engraved right on to his brass +collar, an' when he set his mind on acquirin' an edication, he made +me an' the Kid leery 'at he'd beat us at the finish in spite of our +start. He could walk on his hind legs an' speak an' open an' shut +doors an' wipe his feet on the door-mat an' roll over an' pray an'-- +oh, well he knew 'em all an' six more; but Bill said it wasn't +learnin' the tricks that counted, it was learnin' to think for +himself. Bill used to put obstacles in his way, so that the pup +would have to cipher a while to figger out how to work it, an' this +was what Bill called stretchin' his intellect to match his +envirament. He was some the solemnest pup I ever see, an' it was +kind o' creepy to see him come to the shack, open the door, slam it +after him, wipe his feet on the burlap, look into Bill's face, an' +give a short bark. This was to ask if Bill had any new jobs for him. + +I had it all planned out that the pup was to sleep in the wagon +shed; but this didn't look good to the pup, nor to Bill, neither. +When night would come, Cupid would go through his lessons, eat his +supper, an' fling himself slaunchways on the wide bunk. He didn't +weigh more'n sixty pounds, but they was the solidest sixty ever +wrapped up in a dog hide. He wouldn't mind no one but Bill, an' it +was all I could do to get room enough on the perch to hang on. Then +Bill would open up his vau-dee-ville show, an' when he'd simmer +down, the pup would begin to chase jackrabbits, which was the most +devilish-lookin' sight I ever see. He'd lay there with his eyelids +rolled up, an' his eyes turned inside out, givin' short barks an' +jerkin' his legs. + +"Bill," I sez one night, "I ain't no chronic coward, but doggone me +if I want to be mistook for a jack-rabbit, an' have this bulldog +sock his ivories into me." + +"He ain't no bulldog," snaps Bill. "It looks to me as if you might +learn purty soon that he's a brindle bull-terrier!" + +"Oh, I know that all right, an' I'm willin' to swear to it," sez I, +"but just now it's his teeth, not his ancestors, that are botherin' +me. If I'm to be mistook for a jack-rabbit, I ain't nowise +particular just which kind of a bulldog is goin' to do the +mistakin'." + +Bill, he smiled sadly an' walked over an' stuck his naked finger +right into the pup's mouth. I looked to see it bit off, but the pup +only opened his eyes, looked foolish, an' tramped down another acre +of imaginary grass; finally goin' to sleep again an' usin' my feet +for a piller. + +Talk about grit! That little cuss was willin' to fight any-thing +that walked. We took him out to the herd one day, an' after he'd +been kicked an' tossed an' trampled, he got on to throwin' a steer +by the nose, an' from that on it was his favorite pastime. He played +the game so enthusiastic, that I finally sez to Bill, "Bill, you +mustn't forget that Colonel Scott has other uses for these cattle +besides usin' 'em for dog exercisers." From that on, Bill made the +pup be a little more temperate in the use o' steers. + +The muscles on that pup got to be like hard rubber, an' you couldn't +pinch him hard enough to make him squeak. He allus took a serious +view o' life except when the' was a chance for a little rough an' +tumble; then his face would light up like an angel's. Pullin' on a +rope was his idee o' draw poker, an' he could wear out the whole +bunch of us at it. Bill fair idolized him--fact is, we all thought a +heap of him; but I'd 'a' liked him a mite better if the' 'd been +more bunks in the shack. + +If he got cold, he'd scratch your face till you let him under the +covers, an' then when he got too hot, he'd pull the covers off an' +roll 'em into a nice soft heap, with himself on top. He never +overlooked himself much, the pup didn't. First I knew, I got to +missin' a right smart o' sleep that really belonged to me; 'cause, +while I'm opposed to speakin' ill o' the absent, I'd just about as +soon try to sleep with a colicky hoss as with Bill an' the pup. When +the pup wasn't chasin' imaginary jack-rabbits or live fleas, Bill +was jumpin' up an' down to write somethin' new into his book; until +Kid Porter swore that if any more came, he was goin' to leave. + +I like a dog the full limit, but I never hankered to sleep with 'em, +not when they have fleas; an' when they don't, they allus put me in +mind of a man 'at uses perfumery. I tried to devise a plan for +sleepin' on the floor, but I couldn't engineer it through. + +"No," sez Bill, in a hurt kind of a tone, "I wouldn't inconvenience +you for the world. Me an' Cupid will sleep on the floor." Well, +there I was. I'm as tender-hearted as a baby antelope, so I just +turned it off as a joke, an' got to sleepin' in the saddle on the +return trip. + +Nothin' on earth made Bill so mad as to call the pup a bulldog, +though if he wasn't one, he sure looked the part. I knowed it +wouldn't do to take too many chances, so me an' the Kid used to post +the boys, an' when one of 'em would drop in an' say as natural as +though he was chattin' about the weather: "That's a mighty fine +London, brindle, bull-terrier you-uns have got," Bill's face would +light up as if he was the mother of it, an' he would turn in an' +preach us a sermon on dogs. That was why you liked Bill; he was just +the same all the way through an' if he was friendly when it paid, +you was certain sure he'd be just as friendly when it cost. + +Colonel Scott's niece came out to visit him some time in May, an' we +heard of her long before we saw her. 'Bout every one we met had +somethin' to tell about what a really, truly heart-buster she was. +She learned to ride, an' one afternoon she an' the Colonel struck +our outfit just in front of a howlin' storm. + +The' wasn't no show to get back to headquarters that night, so we +smoothed out the wide bunk for the lady, an' us men planned to flop +in the shed. She sure had dandy manners! She pitched in an' helped +us get supper, an' we had about everything to eat that a man could +think of--side meat an' boiled beans an' ham an' corn-bread an' +baked beans an' flapjacks an' fried potatoes an' bean soup, an' +coffee so stout that you couldn't see the bottom in a teaspoonful of +it. We just turned ourselves loose an' gave her a banquet. + +As soon as the dishes was off our hands, we started in to be jovial. +Me an' the Kid wasn't just altogether at home, but Bill was right in +his element. He played, an' him an' her sang, an' they talked, an' +it was the most festive function I ever see; until the pup came in +an' jumped up on the wide bunk where she was settin'. "Oh, take that +horrid bull-dog away!" she squealed. + +I dreaded the result; but I sez to myself, "Now surely that doggone +ijit won't throw a call-down into the lady." but he did. "Miss +Johnston," sez he, "that ain't no bulldog. That's a high-bred London +bull-terrier. How would you like to be called a Chinaman? Come here, +Cupid." + +It was like throwin' a bucket o' water on a bed o' coals. Bill was +like an oyster from that on, an' the girl looked as if she'd been +slapped. I was mad all the way through. It's all right for a man to +be crazy, if he'll only keep it private, but the' ain't no sense in +tryin' to get the whole balance o' creation over to his side. + +The Colonel thought it a mighty prime joke to have his niece called +down over a bull pup, an' he chuckled about it consid'able. Next +mornin' he made Bill promise to come over an' visit him; but the +girl said HER good-byes to me an' the Kid. From that on, Bill was +over to headquarters half his time, but it didn't do him much good. +The girl wouldn't stand for the pup, an' Bill wouldn't go back on +him; so it looked purty much like a deadlock. + +One Sunday about the first of August, we was all sittin' in the +shade of the shack, lookin' down into the valley. The shack backed +up against a massive crag on the edge of a high plateau. The road +from headquarters came in from the North, wound around a steep +butte, then along the top o' the cliff to where it slid down into +the valley to Danders. + +We heard the thud o' hoofs an' turnin' around, we saw the Colonel's +niece tearin' down the road on a big hoss. It was a plain case of +runaway, an' I felt something break inside my chest. They were +headin' straight for the top o' the cliff, the hoss was goin' too +fast to make the turn, an' we was too far off to beat him to it. + +We simply stood there like a flock o' sheep, without a single +thought among us. The' didn't seem to be a thing to do, but just +watch 'em plunge two hundred feet into the ravine. I glanced at +Bill, but I hardly knew him. His brows was drawn down like a +wildcat's, his jaws was clamped so tight you could hear 'em grit, +an' his eyes seemed to smoke. + +I looked back to the road again, an' there was the pup, standin' +down by the road watchin' the hoss runnin' toward him. I touched +Bill on the shoulder, an sez, "Can the pup do anything, Bill?" Bill +gave a sigh as though he had just come back from the dead, an' in a +voice that wavered an' trembled, but still rang out like a trumpet, +he yelled: "Throw him, Cupid, throw him!" Lord, man! I wish you +could have seen it. The mane bristled up on that dog's back an' his +muscles bulged out till he looked like a stone image. We heard him +give a low whine, like as if he knowed it was too big a job for a +little feller like him. But did he try to flunk it? Not him. Then I +knew 'at he wasn't neither a bulldog nor a bull-terrier, but a +little sixty-pound hero, willin' to pass out his life any time 'at +Bill would draw a check for it. + +We fair helt our breath as he backed away from the road an' took a +little easy gallop until the hoss was near even with him. Another +dog would have blown his lungs loose, tellin' what he was a-goin' to +do; but Cupid never said a word. His lip curled up till you could +catch the glisten of those wicked white teeth of his, an' then when +the hoss was right alongside an' it looked as if he had lost his +chance, he gave a couple of short jumps an' threw himself for the +critter's nose. + +Well, I can't rightly tell you just what did happen then. I saw him +make his spring an' swing around full sweep, hangin' on to the +hoss's nose; but from that on the whole earth seemed to be shook +loose. The boss keeled over like he was shot, the girl seemed to +turn a somerset in the air, an' light all in a heap, with one arm +hangin' over the edge of the cliff. We heard a shriek, a little +smothered yelp, an' then we ran down to them. + +Bill looked first toward the girl an' then toward the pup, an' it +was tearing his heart apart to tell which one he would go to first. +Finally he ran to the girl an' carried her back from the cliff. He +knelt an' put his ear to her heart, then he took her wrist an' after +what seemed a mighty long time. he gave a little sigh, an' sez, +"Kid, run for some water. Run! What do you stand lookin' at me for?" +Cupid + +The Kid, he certainly did run, while Bill stepped over to where +Cupid was layin', still an' quiet, but with a piece o' the hoss's +nose still in his grip. The hoss's right shoulder was broke an' he +couldn't get up, but was thrashin' an' strugglin' around. "Get your +gun an' put that hoss out of his misery, Happy," sez Bill, an' the' +was somethin' in his tone that filled me plumb full o' the spirit of +action. + +When I came back, the Kid was pourin' a bucket o' water over the +girl, an' Bill, with the tears rollin' down his cheeks, was feelin' +over the body of the little bull-pup. I put the muzzle to within an +inch o' the soft spot in the hoss's forehead, an' fired. The hoss's +head sank, an' then I gulped a couple o' times like a flabby galoot, +an' sez, "Bill, do you reckon the brindle bull-terrier'll pull +through?" + +"Get me some o' that water," sez Bill. When I got it, he showed me a +place where the whole o' the pup's scalp had been kicked loose. I +couldn't see what good water was goin' to do, but Bill wouldn't give +up. "I can't find where the skull is broke," he sez, "an' maybe the +water'll fetch him around." + +He poured some water over the little feller's face, but it didn't +seem to be no use. He just lay still with his head on Bill's knee, +an' I knew it was all up with little Cupid; but just to please Bill, +I gave him a flask, I happened to have, an' sez, "Give the little +feller a drink, Bill. He never was used to hittin' it none, an' +it'll have a powerful effect on him." Bill opened the pup's mouth +an' poured in a tol'able stiff swig, an' by cracky, the pup opened +his eyes, an' when he saw Bill bendin' down over him, he tried to +wag his little tail. + +Well, Bill took that pup up in his arms an' hugged him--an' if the' +'s any one in this crowd that feels like laughin', it'll be +healthier for 'im to step outside. + +Then Bill picked up the pup, an' motioned for me an' the Kid to tote +the lady up to the shack, an' we did it, though it wasn't fittin' +work for a couple o' ridin men. She had fully come to when we +reached the shack, an' we laid her on the wide bunk. Bill put the +pup on the narrow bunk, washed out the hole in his head, an' tied it +up with a clean handkerchief. Then he crossed over an' spoke to the +girl. I could easy tell by his voice that the last time they had +parted it had been a little stormy. + +"Miss Johnston," he sez in a low tone, "are you sufferin' much?" + +She owned up to a perfectly rippin' headache, an' said she was sore +all over; but it was her ankle 'at pained her most. Bill started to +look at it; but she reddened up an' tried to draw it under her. Bill +never paid any attention to her, but sez calmly, "I've had +consid'able experience, Miss Johnston. A great deal depends on +promptness. Now just let the limb lay natural till I remove the +shoe." + +Me an' the Kid started to break for the foothills, but he set me to +makin' bandages, an' sent the Kid after some more water. We was +losin' our age fast, an' Bill's voice sounded like grandpa's. He +said it was a corkin' bad sprain, but he tied it up an' wet down the +bandages; an' then he sent me to headquarters after the spring- +wagon, an' the Kid to Danders for the doctor. + +We both got back before daylight, an' by that time Bill an' the girl +had come to a purty harmonious agreement concernin' the proper +standin' of a brindle bull-terrier. When I came in he was holdin' +the lady's hand--an' I was the only one what reddened up. + + + + +CHAPTER NINETEEN + +BARBIE MAKES A DISCOVERY + + +Jessamie, that was Miss Johnston's real name, had been ridin' one o' +the Colonel's high-breds, an' again orders at that; but the Colonel +was purty comfortable like at the upshot. Bill was fitted out with a +pedigree an 'a bank account what made him a parlor guest purty much +everywhere he went, an' on top o' that it tickled the Colonel a heap +to have things ironed out by the bull pup himself. + +I didn't much suppose when I see that sorrowful pup pikin' back the +track that he was doomed to achieve prominence an' fame, but Fate +had him entered on her book all right, an' he made so everlastin' +good that it wouldn't have surprised me a mite if they'd have run +him for Governor. + +You just bet your life the other feller never got him again! Why +they'd 'a' had to bring the whole standin' army to filch that dog +away from Bill after the big doin's. Out here in Wyoming it's a test +of class--owners of one of Cupid's pups are first-class, others +belong to the herd. + +It was two weeks after the accident that us four--countin' Kid +Porter--was sittin' in exactly the same place back of the shack; +only this time, Bill was pullin' the pup's ears. Bill hadn't spent +overly much time with us the last fortnight, an' we were talkin' it +all over, when hanged if we didn't hear the thud of hoofs again, an' +I reckon we all turned blue. + +Cupid himself appeared a shade disgusted at the prospect of an +encore. He had only just shed his bandages, an' the flap on his lid +was still too tender to scratch, so that you can't hardly blame him +for takin' the narrow view of it. We jumped around the corner of the +house, but the' was two riders this time, an' while they was +spinnin' along at a purty merry clip, they had control of the hosses +all right. Both of 'em was girls, an' one of 'em was Jessamie. When +I see who the other was, I felt as though I was standin' on the +outer edge of a fleecy cloud. It was Barbie. I ducked back around +the corner of the house. + +Bill, he ran down an' helped his lady to alight, while Barbie +flopped herself off her mount an' ran up to Cupid. Oh, they know a +heap, dogs do. Cupid took just one look in her eyes, an' when she +squatted down on her knees, he tried to get into her lap an' they +made a heap o' fuss over each other. I could tell by her eyes that +Jessamie felt a shade jealous, 'cause Cupid hadn't quite forgiven +her for slightin' him at the first. I was watchin' 'em through a +chink in the shack and I was feelin' purty glum myself, to think +that Barbie would spend all that time on a dog an' never give one +little inquiry about me. + +Well, they examined the spot where Cupid had made his tackle, an' +the dent in the earth where the hoss an' Jessamie had lit, an' then +they meandered up to the house to see just how helpless we'd been, +aside from Cupid. + +"Well, you all had a share in it;" Barbie was sayin' as they neared +the shack. "Cupid did the actual work, you trained him for it, and +Higinson had the kind of a nerve that don't melt under fire." + +"Sure thing," sez Bill, "I own up that I was plumb petrified, an' +Cupid wasn't carin' much one way or the other; but Hank Higinson +never lost his self-possession a second,"--this was all bosh, 'cause +I was purty nigh stampeded, an' that's the simple truth. + +"Where is he?" sez Barbie. "I want to see him an' then I can tell +just about how much he could do on his own hook." + +I was feelin' a sight better. I saw exactly how it was. Bill an' all +the rest o' the fellers had done exactly what I had hinted at an' +hadn't divulged my identity, an' Barbie hadn't the slightest idea +that I was in the state. Those people who know precisely the right +time to disobey orders, are a big help to humanity; but they're +mighty scarce. + +Bill, he opened the door of the shack, an' sez, "Come on out. Hank, +a lady wants to be introduced to you." + +I stepped to the door feelin' wonderful bashful, but when Barbie saw +me, she went several different colors an' shouts: + +"Happy, Happy Hawkins! What on earth do you mean by bein' here?" + +Her voice was trembly an' accusin' an' reproachful an' glad an' a +lot of other things; an' I found it mighty hard to come back with a +joke, quick enough to suit me. I felt sort o' flighty, with her big +dark eyes lookin' into me, an' while I was stutterin' she opened up +on me an' give me a good old-fashioned scoldin'--an' I felt dandy. +Bill, he was troubled some with startin' eyes. Jessamie was breedy +all right, but compared to Barbie, she looked like a six o' suit +alongside the queen o' trumps. + +"Why," sez Barbie, turnin' to Jessamie, "everything always goes +right when Happy's present. I might have known from your description +that it was Happy who saw the only way--" + +"Oh, pshaw, now," sez I, breakin' in, "I didn't do a blasted thing. +Cupid here was the master workman on this job, while Bill--" + +"That's all true enough," sez Barbie, "you have the gift of hidin' +yourself in your work; but I can see you just the same." + +It was certainly comfortin' to hear the way she went on about it; +but it was a little too cold-blooded for my nerves, 'cause I hadn't +done a thing this time but make one small suggestion; so we finally +compromised by admnittin' that now an' again, I was picked out to be +the nail on the finger of Fate. Sometimes I rather think that comes +purty close to hittin' me. + +Jessamie had graduated from the university where Barbie was goin', +at the close of Barbie's first year. They had met, an' remembered +each other; an' as soon as the news of the doin's had reached the +Diamond Dot, of course Barbie piked over to make a call. The outcome +was that when the Colonel sent out a man to take my place, I rode +back to the Diamond Dot with Barbie, an' it was mighty good to be +there again. + +Jabez give me a good firm hand-shake, an' didn't rub it in about the +silkworms; so that everything just slid along as smooth as joint- +oil, an' I had a good opportunity to estimate the benefit of +Barbie's schoolin'. She was a heap more changed than I had supposed +at first; the' was a way she had of holdin' her head an' walkin' an' +talkin', that showed me quick enough that money spent on her +edication wasn't nowise wasted. + +But she went back to her last year soon after this, intendin' to be +the best maid at Jessamie's weddin'. This weddin' was a curious +thing an' opened my eyes purty wide to the ways of women. I'd 'a' +been willin' to bet my saddle that the one man she never would +marry, was Bill; but she owned up herself that she had made up her +mind to marry him the first night they met. She wasn't quite sure of +it until him an' her had the fall-out over Cupid, and that settled +it. She said a man who had the spunk to stick up for his dog the way +Bill did would be a purty handy kind to have around the house, an' +she was just tryin' him out to see how far he'd go. She was actually +fond of dogs all the time, especially bulldogs. A girl-baby three +years old could have fooled Methusaleh in his prime, an' that means +after he'd had about six hundred years of experience. She's a +wonderful invention, woman. + +All the while before Barbie left, she was tryin' to plan out what +use she was goin' to put her edication to. Sometimes she was minded +to go on the stage, at others lawyerin' looked good to her, but most +of the time she seemed to think that a female doctor would come +nearer fittin' her than anything else. + +Me an' Jabez worried about it a heap; but we was wise enough to hide +it. We knew that Barbie carted around at all times what they call a +spirit of combativity, which fattened on opposition, an' we +preferred to let her scrap it out with herself, hopin' that what she +finally decided on would be all for the best. + +Jabez said good-bye at the edge of the ranch, while I drove her over +to Webb Station. I kind o' fought shy of Danders 'cause it seemed to +me that the' was always some kind of a job waitin' for me there, an' +Barbie had left me a heap of work for that winter. "Have you learned +anything yet?" she asked me, after the train had pulled into sight +an' we was shakin' hands. + +"Not a thing for certain," sez I. "I've stumbled onto several +rumors, but they always went out. Do you still study over it much, +Barbie?" + +"Never a day goes by but what I study over it," sez she. "There +isn't anything I wouldn't give to know about my mother--all about +her." + +"Are you sure, Barbie?" said I. + +She thought hard a minute, an' then she threw back her head an' +looked into my eyes. "Yes," she said, in a low tone, "I'd give +everything--even the love and respect I feel for my father." + +I gave a little shiver. "Barbie," I sez, "I don't think you'll ever +have to pay that high a price. I never saw your Dad cruel in cold +blood, an' he's purty just." + +"Oh, I would rather die than find out that he'd ever been cruel to +my mother; but I do want to know about her; and some day I will." +She squeezed my hand hard and her eyes were wet with tears when she +stepped on the train; but she tried to smile, she sure did. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY + +RICHARD WHITTINGTON ARRIVES + + +Well, that winter rolled by without a break. Me an' Jabez had just +about learned how to take each other, an' we didn't stretch our +harness to the snappin' point. Bill Andrews had finally got tol'able +well acquainted with me also, an' was able to savvy that while peace +was my one great desire, the' was some prices that I wouldn't pay +for it. + +We was all het up when the graduation day finally came, an' we +didn't do a lick of work on the ranch; just gathered around the +ranch buildin's, polishin' up her harness an' hosses, an' talkin' +about her in hushed voices. She had won honors an' medals an' one +thing or another until I reckon we felt purty much as Mrs. +Washington did when she was cleanin' house to welcome the father of +his country after he had showed England where to reset the boundery +stakes. + +Barbie had wrote us that she was goin' to cut out a string of +invitations as long as your arm and pike right out for home as soon +as she had finished her part of the program, an' we weren't able to +do a tap until she arrived. At first I was minded to drive down +after her, an' then I decided that it would be better for me to stay +at home an' line up the boys in some sort of style to receive her. +Spider Kelley went after her and as soon as they hove in sight I had +all the punchers charge down an' shoot their guns off in the air. +They was wearin' their gaudiest raiment an' shoutin' their heads +off, an' she owned up herself that it topped anything she ever saw +in the East. She stood up in the buckboard an' took off her hat an' +swung it about her head and shouted, "Boys, you're just bully--every +one of you!" an' say, the' wasn't a puncher on the Diamond Dot that +wouldn't have given up his hide to make her a pair o' ridin' gloves. +Jabez had waited back at the ranch house an' he was tremblin' when +we left him to ride down an' meet her. + +Here she was, comin' back for the last time with all the learnin' of +the earth packed away in her head, an' niched up with more degrees +than a thermometer; but it hadn't changed her heart, not one grain; +an' when she saw the home buildin's with ol' Mount Savage sittin' up +on his throne an' all the little peaks bowin' before him, like pages +to a king, she jes' threw out her arms as though she would take in +the whole outfit in one big hug, an' her eyes filled up with tears +as she sez, "Oh, Dad. I love it! I love every inch of it, every line +of it, every shade of it; an' I've hungered an' thirsted for it all +these years--an' for you, Dad, for you most of all." + +Well, you should have seen Jabez. Beam? Why, I reckon you could have +lit a cigar on his face, an' he fluttered around like a hen with one +chicken an' that one a duck. He couldn't quite believe that it was +all true and that he was actually awake. He had worried so long +about her cuttin' into some new game as soon as her schoolin' was +done that he hardly dared rejoice for fear it would wake him up; but +it didn't take her long to begin enjoyin' her old freedom again. It +took us some longer to adjust ourselves to her, however. + +Now she hadn't changed such an awful sight, an' yet the' was +somethin' about her 'at made you feel like touchin' your hat when +she issued an order. Not that she was uppity nor nothin'; she +rambled around playin' with the colts an' the calves, an' rompin' +with the dogs, an' fairly stackin' up the whole place in little +heaps. An' she rustled up her old sombrero an' leggin's just as +though she had never set a hoof off the range. Still, the' was +somethin' about her you couldn't quite put your finger on; but which +you knew in your heart was there all the time, awaitin' till she +made up her mind to call it out; like a handful o' regulars givin' +dignity to a scrawny two by twice fort in the Injun country. + +We took up our ridin' again, an' just as I was gettin' used to it, +along comes a feller lookin' about two thirds starved. His clothes +was ragged an' soiled, he had forgot his baggage, he was on foot +(an' when I say on foot, I don't only mean that he was dispensin' +with the luxury of a pony; he was also unemcumbered with soles to +his boots), but he had indoor hands, a back as straight as an +Injun's, an' a way of flingin' up his head an' drawin' down his +brows when you spoke to him sudden, which proved 'at trampin' was +only a sideline with him. He put in an application as cook for the +home gang. + +Ol' Cast Steel looked into him: examined his eyes, his hands, an' +the way he carried his head. Then he spoke kind o' slow an' drawly. +"Cook?" sez he. "We'll, I'd be willin' to bet 'at you've stayed up +till three o'clock a heap more times'n you have ever arose at this +wholesome hour. What can you cook?" + +Well, the feller he laughed, an' sez, "You win. I own up 'at I ain't +no cook, nor I ain't no cow puncher; but my pension has stopped an' +my appetite is still runnin'. I never yet recall readin' no notice +of any cook what died of starvation." + +Jabez grinned. "I don't ask no man about his past," sez he. "No man +knows nothin' about his future. As for the present, you can help +with the cookin'. Flap Jack is due for his bender, week after next, +an' if you can learn the trade by that time you'll come in handy." + +'Twas the first time I ever heard of Cast Steel vary his hirin' +speech; so I knew 'at he too had the feller spotted for a stray; but +he rolled up his sleeves an' started to peel spuds for the evenin' +slum. He said that his name was Richard Whittington, an' while he +didn't talk overly extensive about himself, he wasn't nowise offish +nor snarly. He did his work up to the limit too, an' even of Flap +Jack didn't complain as much as he generally did whenever he was +furnished with a little extra help. The peculiar thing was the way +'at Barbie treated him. She came down to the cook shack soon after +he landed, with a lot of Jabez' old clothes an' a pair of boots, +'cause anything in distress got to her heart by the shortest cut. +She came lopin' along with about fifteen dogs, whistlin' an' hummin' +an' sort o' dancin' up in the air like a young angel; but the minute +she saw him she sobered up, an' after he had thanked her, which he +did in book langwidge, she simply pulled down the blinds an' locked +the door. It was mighty curious an' set us all to talkin', 'cause +she treated us feliers just as friendly as the rest of the stock; +but Dick made a bad impression right at the start, an' we kept our +eyes on him for the first crooked move. + +He was a restless feller, was Dick, allus askin' questions about +breeds an' fencin' an' winter feeds an' marketin'. Said he liked to +have somethin' to study about when his hands was workin'. Barbie +left one of her books out in the wagon-shed one day an' Dick found +it. He curled right up on a cushion an' begun to read. That was the +very day 'at Flappy was to start off on his periodical, an' he had +made all his preparations so that everything would be in apple-pie +order. When dinner went by an' no deputy showed up he ground out +several canticles of profanity; but when supper time hove in sight +and nairy a report from the substitute hash-herder, he fairly stood +on tiptoe an' screamed his woes into what they call the wel-kin; an' +you can bet that Flappy made her welk all right. + +He had been training for this jag for full three months, an' the +thirst he had built up was somethin' for the whole ranch to be proud +of; an' all the boys was full of sympathy an' interest, an' wanted +him to have every show in the world. They wanted his mind to be +utterly free from care, so that he could give his full attention to +tackin' up a Diamond Dot record that would arouse the envy of the +entire West, an' Flappy was in fine shape to do it. + +We all started out to find Dick, whether he was still hidin' around +the ranch or had started to hike; but it was Barbie herself who +found him. She came racin' along with a herd of dogs, friskin' an' +rompin' the same as they was; but when she came onto Dick readin' +her book she simmered down immejet. When he looked up an' saw her he +seemed like a feller wakin' up out of a dream. It didn't break on +him all at once; but when it did, he looked as guilty as a sheep- +herder. He stood up an' bowed an' helt out the book an' stammered, +an' all in all, it was painful to watch 'em. None of us was able to +figger out why they acted this way ever time they happened to meet; +but they did. + +Well, after he'd apologized a couple o' chapters she told him 'at +she was nearly through with the book, an' if he'd come up to the +house after supper she'd he glad to let him take it. After supper up +he went to the house an' sent ol' Mellisse in for it. When he got it +he went back to the cook-shack an' stayed up all night readin' it. +One of the boys what got in about two o'clock said 'at he was just +about half through with it the second time when he came along. Books +is the same as opium to some folks. After that Barbie used to send +him down books purty often, an' he used to get a world of comfort +out of 'em. + +One afternoon when Dick was cookin' up a stew Jabez came out an' sat +on a cracker-box talkin' to him. He allus seemed to have a likin' +for Dick, an' used to chat with him right consid'able. This +afternoon he got to spreadin' himself about how much money the place +handled every year an' how much the' was invested in it, an' what a +great thing the cattle industry was to the entire country. Jabez had +his vanities all right, an' he used to parade 'em occasional an' got +a heap o' comfort out of 'em. Dick went along seasonin' an' addin' +an' stirrin' an' not seemin' to pay a mite of attention, until +finally Jabez got tired of appreciatin' himself, an' sez, "Well, +what do you think of this little plant anyway?" + +"Do you like the scenery around here, or do you have to live here on +account of your health?" sez Dick, sort of unconcerned like. + +Jabez looked at him about a minute to kind of get the drift of his +remark, an' then he sez, "What do you mean by that?" + +"Why," sez Dick, "you ain't makin' two percent profit, an' I was +just wonderin' what you stayed here for--if it wasn't for somethin' +else beside the filthy looger." + +Jabez, he jumps to his feet an' goes all through it again, tellin' +all he has took in an' all he has paid out; while Dick kept +attendin' to his pots an' pans the same as if he was stone deaf. +Jabez rattled on an ended up with: "An' this here ranch has the best +water an' the best range an' the best shelter of any ranch in the +state. What do you think of that?" "Why, I think it all the more +reason why it should pay a business profit," drawls Dick. "Only last +week I heard you complainin' somethin' fierce because you had to put +up for a new freight-wagon. The great trouble with you is that you +don't have no system. You need a manager, a man who takes an +interest in modern progress, a man who sees that the rest o' the men +pay a profit. I don't mean a foreman, you got plenty o' them. I mean +a business man. You ain't no business man; you don't like it." + +Well, Jabez was stupefied. He'd never had no wage-earner dump advice +on him before, an' here was a tramp, as you might say, who started +in by telling him that what he really needed was some one to run his +business for him. He didn't fly up through. He just rose an' gave +Dick a searchin' look, an' then he meandered up to the house; an' +you could tell by the very droop of his shoulders that what he was +doin' was thinkin'. + +The upshot of it was that when Flappy was hauled out to the ranch +the next week, an' as soon as he got so he could tell fire from +water, Dick fitted up an office in the North wing; an' about fifteen +minutes afterward we all felt the difference. From that on +everything ran like a round-up. Dick didn't boss none, he just +pointed out the best way, an' we did it. All those answers we had +told him about calves an' winter hay an' such-like had simply gone +in one ear--an' stuck to the inside of his mental gearing. He +discovered that Jabez had been stuck for further orders on most of +his supplies, an' had allus managed to win the bottom price whenever +it came his turn to make a sale. + +Well, Dick was a perpetual surprise party. You could tell by the +color of his skin that he was an indoor man; but he sat a hoss like +a cow puncher, an' as soon as he got things runnin' to suit him on +our place he got to makin' side trips to the other ranches. He would +spend two hours talkin' about the weather; but at the end o' that +time, he knew more about a man's outfit than the owner himself. Then +he ordered out a lot of stock papers, an' the first thing we knew, +we was askin' him questions about things 'at we'd allus supposed we +savvied from tail to muzzle. He seemed to like me more'n the rest, +an' chose me out to be his ridin' pal an' what he called an A. D. +Kong, which was simply the French for messenger boy; but Dick never +unloaded a lot of talk about himself. You wouldn't notice it, but he +allus managed to have the other feller do most o' the talkin'. + +When winter came he took a trainload o' cattle clear to Chicago an' +brought back twenty bulls--dandies! Big white-faced fellers with +pool-table backs an' stocky legs, an' they sure made the other stuff +look like the champion scrubs of creation. No one in our parts had +ever seen such cattle, an' for the rest of the winter we helt a fair +an' booked enough orders for calves to make a man nervous. Jabez had +gone along, an' it must have ganted him consid'able to heave out the +wampum for that bunch; but you should have seen him swell up when +folks got to talkin' about 'em. He was game though, an' gave Dick +the credit. He thought Dick was the whole manuver by this time. + +Barbie an' Dick had got over givin' antelope starts every time they +met; but they wasn't what you would call friendly by a long ways. +Dick had worn a rough lookin' beard when he first arrived; but +afterward he had trimmed it to a point, an' it made him look some +like a doctor. His ears were set tight to his head, an' he had a +proud nose; but it was his hands an' his eyes that set him apart. +His hands were fair size but white, an' they stayed white. They had +a nervous way of fussin' around with things whenever he got to +thinkin'; but after all, the thing that was the final call was his +eyes. They were bright an' set in under heavy brows; but they never +seemed tryin' to bend you, like some eyes do, they just seemed so +completely sure of what they saw, an' they seemed to have seen so +much beforehand, that a feller was tempted to stick to the truth in +front of 'em--even when it wasn't altogether convenient. Dick was +the first cold-blooded man I ever liked, an' he was sure cold- +blooded at this period. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE + +HAPPY MAKES A DISCOVERY + + +Now dogs an' Barbie was allus exceedin' intimate. Dogs just doted on +her, an she recipercated full measure; but she had one dog what was +only a dog by what they call an act of courtesy. It must 'a' weighed +fully two pounds, an' had bushy hair at that. It had a bark to it +like one o' these intellectual dolls what can say Ma-maa, Ma-maa, +but the critter was as proud o' this bark as though it shook all the +buildin's on the place. The blame thing wasn't physically able to +inflict much more damage than a mosquito, but it was full as +bloodthirsty, an' it had took a keen disregard for Bill Andrews. + +Bill Andrews was still the foreman, an' one day he was on his way to +the office to make a report to Dick when this imitation dog came +sailin' around the corner an' took a grab at his leg. He had a +brand-new pair of pants on, an' they was outside his boots. You know +how corduroy tears when the dye has been a bit too progressive. +Well, the pup loosened up a piece like a section of pie. Bill +Andrews lost his Christian fortitude, give that toy muff a kick that +landed him fifteen feet--an' Barbie came around the corner, an' Dick +came out of the office at the same time. + +The poor little pup was a-layin' on his back yelpin' like a love- +sick bob-cat; a white rage came over me an' I pulled out my gun; but +before I could use it Dick had sailed into him without a word. Bill +Andrews was too flustered to pull his own gun, so he put up his +hands, but it didn't do no good. Dick caught him under the chin, an' +the back of his head struck the ground several moments before his +feet arrived. It was a beautiful blow; I never seen a neater. I +don't reckon Barbie ever did either; 'cause as soon as she had +gathered up the pup she walked up to Dick an' sez, "I want to thank +you for this, an' to say that I am in your debt to the extent of any +favor what's in my power." Course Dick was locoed the same as usual. +His face looked like the settin' sun, an' he couldn't pump out a +word to save him. Them two found it mighty hard to overcome the +first prejudice they'd felt again each other. + +Bill Andrews he set up after a bit, with his hands on the ground, +bracin' himself while he was tryin' to recall the history of the few +precedin' moments. Dick looked down at him calmly an' said, "As soon +as you have apologized to Miss Judson you may come into the office +and we shall transact our business." Then he lifted his hat, whirled +on his heel, an 'stalked inside like as if he was a colonel. + +Bill Andrews was purty tol'able low-spirited; but he handed out as +affectin' an excuse as he could dream up, and as soon as Barbie had +spoke her piece he slouched into the office purty consid'able +cargoed up with conflictin' emotions. I'd ruther shoot a man an' not +kill him, than to be the cause of makin' him look ridiculous before +a woman--that is, a revengeful sneak like what Bill Andrews was. + +As soon as he an' Dick got through with their talk, an' it was a +purty tol'able lengthy confab at that, Bill Andrews went to the boss +an' tendered in his resignation. Cast Steel accepted it mighty +hearty, 'cause Barbie had just been callin' on him; an' that very +mornin' Dick made Pete Hanson foreman. + +Next night the office safe was opened an' fifteen hundred dollars +was took. Every one thought right away of Bill Andrews, an' the ol' +man sent us out in pairs to scour the country. The' wasn't much +scourin' to be done, how-ever, 'cause we found Bill Andrews on the +next ranch, an' they was ready to swear 'at he hadn't left it all +night. The' wasn't no one else that any one felt like suspectin'. +Jabez wasn't the man to weep over upsettin' a can o' condensed, an' +purty soon the theft was forgot an' everything was runnin' along as +smooth as forty quarts o' joint-oil. + +The ol' man kept dependin' more an' more on Dick, until finally Dick +got to signin' checks, orderin' all the supplies, an' takin' full +charge; while Jabez spent most of his time taggin' around after +Barbie. They was like a couple o' young children; but Barbie wasn't +quite so high-headed with Dick after the dog affair, an' they got to +ridin' together quite a bit themselves. Barbie was just as good +friends with me as ever; but I could see--any one could see--that +Jabez was willin' to call Dick a son-in-law just the minute that +Barbie was. + +By the time he had been there a year Dick was the big head chief, +an' the ranch was boomin' along like a river steamboat. He allus got +the best of everything in the way of supplies, an' every laddie-buck +in the West knew of it; so 'at a Diamond Dot puncher didn't throw up +his job just for exercise. The' was a swarm o' white-faced calves, +an' about half of 'em wore other fellers' brands, which was a +receipt for a lot of fancy money, so 'at Jabez was as well satisfied +as the men; an' even Barbie had come to own up that Dick was the +fittin'est man in those parts. I could read every thought in her +head, an' it hurt me to think that at last I had dropped back to +second fiddle; but I could see that Dick had had chances that I +hadn't had, an'--an' I allus aim to play fair, so I took to ridin' +alone an' workin' harder than I was used to. + +She could strum a guitar till you'd be willin' to swear it was the +heavenly harps of the Celustial Choir; an' she an' Dick used to loaf +around in the moonlight makin' melody 'at was worth goin' a good +long ways to hear. They sure made a tasty couple, an' all the boys +used to like to see 'em together. In fact, the whole Diamond Dot was +as match-makey as a quiltin' bee. + +One moonlight night I'd been up to ol' Monody's grave, an' I came +walkin' back about half-past nine. It was more'n twelve years since +Ol' Monody had passed over, but it didn't seem that long. Just as I +turned a corner; I heard a laugh that seemed to float to me from a +long ways back in the past. It was Jim Jimison's laugh, an' as I +came around the corner of the house there he stood with his back to +me, talkin' to Barbie. "Well, for the Gee Whizz!" I cried. He +turned, an' it was Dick. We looked into each other's eyes a moment, +an' then I forced a laugh an' went on to the stallion stable, where +I sat down to puzzle it out. + +It wasn't very long before Dick came to me an' held out his hand. I +took it, an' we gave an old-time grip. "I was wonderin' how long it +would be before you saw through me," he sez. + +I got the moon in his face an' looked at him a long time. Of course +a dozen years and the beard made a lot of difference, but not near +all. When I'd left him, he was only a boy, a boy all the way +through,--looks, words, actions; while now he was a man an' a sizey +one at that. It ain't years alone that make any such change. I knew +in a minute that Jim had been through something that was mighty near +too narrow to get through. "Well," sez I, "what's the story?" + +"You put me on my feet, Happy," sez he, "an' after you left I just +kept on goin'. I tended to my stuff, an' I improved it an' I took on +new ranges, an' I made it go, I sure made it go. Then the Exporters +Cattle Company got after me. My range was needed to fill a gap +between two o' their ranges, an' they tried to make me sell. + +"I didn't want to sell, I was makin' money an' I was layin' it up; +and I wasn't ready to stop workin' at my age, so I fought back. I +didn't stand any show. There's a bunch o' these big companies that +are all the same, under different names, an' they fought me on the +ground an' on the railroads, an' at the stock yards; they tried to +turn my men again me; they had my stuff run onto their range, an' +then tried to prevent my gettin' it back. I didn't mind their open +warfare; but their underhanded ways drove me wild. One o' their +agents used to dog me around every time I'd go to town. He'd grin +an' ask me if I wasn't ready to sell out YET. I finally closed out +the cattle, an' started to raise only horses. One night my three +thorough-bred stallions had their throats cut, an' then next time I +went to town he came in when I was eatin' my supper, grinnin' as +usual, an' asked me if I thought raisin' hosses would pay. + +"I knew what his game was an' tried my best to hold in, but I +couldn't help tellin' him that I didn't suppose it would pay quite +so well as hirin' out to murder hosses would. This was enough for +him; he called me everything he could lay tongue to, and when I rose +to my feet he pulled his gun. The other men in the room were +beginnin' to sneer at me, but I knew the consequences, and started +to leave. He grabbed me by the shoulder an' whirled me around. 'Git +down on your knees,' he sez, 'an' 'pologize to me.' + +"That was my limit. My cup was nearly full of coffee, an' I dashed +the coffee in his face, hoping to get hold of his gun. But he jumped +back an' fired. He missed me, an' I hit him in the center of the +forehead with the coffee cup. It was big an' heavy, and it--killed +him. This was just what the bunch wanted; but in spite of their +precautions I got away, came north, and got into another business; +but that didn't suit either; so here I am, with the worst gang in +this country achin' to get track o' me." + +"How long ago was this, Jim?" sez I. + +"Call me Dick," sez he. "It was about four years ago now. I leased +my land for more'n enough to pay taxes, but I suppose it will all +blow up sometime, an' they'll get me in the end." + +"I don't suppose the' 's any way to go back an' square it, is +there?" sez I. + +"Hell, no!" he sez, bitter as death. "They own Texas." + +"Haven't you any friends there who would swear it was self-defense?" +sez I. + +"I've got plenty of friends there--that's how I got away; but they +don't dare to fight that cattle crowd in the open," sez he. + +"Looks purty bad," sez I. + +"It's rotten bad!" sez he. "But this is business all right. Whenever +I hear any one talk about the morals of business it drives me wild. +The' ain't any morals in business. The best it ever is, is straight +gamblin'--I say the BEST it ever is, is straight gamblin'"--Jim's +voice was gritty with wrath--"while at the worst," he went on, "it +stoops to murder, wholesale and retail, it ruins homes, it +manufactures thieves an' perjurers an'--" "You remind me of a feller +named Fergoson," sez I. "He said that at the best, business was +stealin'." + +"I like him," sez Jim, or I suppose I better say Dick. "I like him. +You couldn't fool him with a lot o' pleasant names for things. He +dealt in the spirit of a deed. I like him." + +It wasn't much peculiar that I hadn't recognized the boy. As he +talked, I could see the caged tiger glarin' out through his eyes, +an' I knew that something wild would happen if the bars ever broke. + +"I'm mighty sorry, Dick," sez I. + +"Oh, I ain't through with 'em yet. I'm not clear out of the game. +You don't need to think 'at they've broke me," sez he. + +"I wasn't thinkin' o' you," I said in a low tone. + +He drew in his breath, an' the noise he made was half way between a +sob an' a groan. "My God!" he said between set teeth. "Do you think +that I haven't carried that cross also? But I've changed a lot in +five years, an' they won't think of me at the Diamond Dot. Happy, +I've got a scheme for organizin' the cattlemen o' the Northwest to +fight that Texas crowd an' whip 'em out o' the business. I know the +game from A to Z, an' if I can just work it through without comin' +out in the open I can beat 'em." + +"Mebbe," sez I, "but it's exposin' her to a mighty big risk." + +"I'll never do that, whatever happens," sez he. + +"As long as this Texas crime hangs over you, it hangs over her too," +sez I, "an' as soon as your fight gets under way they'll turn your +record inside out, an' you know it." + +He gripped his hands together an' punched a hole in the ground with +his heel, an' you could tell by his face that he was mighty sorry he +couldn't have picked out the face he'd have liked to have under his +heel instead of the ground. Finally he put his hand on my shoulder +an' sez, "Well, Happy, you allus did have the gift of hittin' the +nail on the head; an' I'll promise that no matter what comes up, I +won't do anything to risk the happiness of--of Barbie. You just +remember to keep on callin' me Dick, an' I reckon I'll be content to +let the revenge part go, an' just settle down with my head under +cover. They didn't remember me in the Chicago stock yards, an' you +didn't recognize me; so I suppose it's safe enough, if I just keep +quiet." + +We shook hands, an' he went back to the house; but I could easy see +that he was troubled. I stayed out with the stars purty late that +night. It was clear an' bright an' peaceful when I looked up, but +when I tried to look ahead it seemed misty an' dark an' gloomy, so I +looked straight up for a long, long time; an' then when they soothed +me, as they allus do, I went to bed an' slept like a log. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO + +A FRIENDLY GAME + + +About three days after this, a slick lookin' feller came ridin' in +about sun-down, an' of course they booked him for supper an' bed; a +stranger didn't want to expose himself to a meal at that outfit, +less'n he was in the mood to eat. He was a fine easy talker, an' he +had indoor hands too, an' one o' these smiles what is made to order; +what you might call a candidate's smile--a sort o' lightin' up in +honor o' the person bein' addressed. Barbie had a bit of a headache, +'cause her cinch had broke that mornin' while she was havin' a +little argument with a bad-actor; an' about eight o'clock she give +us the fare-you-well an' fluttered up to bed. + +So the four of us--me, Dick, the stranger, an' ol' Jabez--sat there +smokin' seegars an' tellin' anecdotes. About nine Piker, which was +the name the stranger had handed in, sez, "Do you gentlemen ever +indulge in a little friendly game?" + +Now Dick had never throwed a card in his life, to my knowin'. The +ol' man used to play some, but he was mighty choicy who he played +with; while I--well, o' course, I played. Dick didn't say anything +at first, but he give the stranger a long an' a curious look, as +though he was tryin' to place him. He looked so long that both me +an' the ol' man noticed it. "I don't care to play," sez Dick, +blowin' a ring o' smoke to the ceilin'. + +The ol' man had been trottin' along without a break for a +consid'able of a stretch, an' the proposition looked amply +sufficient to him, so he sez pleasantly, "Well, now, boys, it +wouldn't be a bad way to spend the evenin'. We could make the stakes +small an' we could have a right sociable time together." + +'Tain't altogether wise to jump hasty at another man's idee of size. +I had seen the ol' man sit in a game where steers was the ante an' +car-loads the limit; but at that time I thought I knew just a little +wee mite more about the game than any other man what played +straight, so I sez, "Well, I'll set in a while; but I don't care to +lose more'n a hundred dollars"; which was just what I'd saved out +for a little vacation I was ruminatin' about. + +"Oh, we'll only play a quarter ante an' five dollar limit," sez +Jabez. "Come on, boys, clear the table an' let's get started." + +Dick didn't seem to want to play at all, but after the ol' man had +coaxed him a little he drew up his chair an' we started in. The old +man's deck was purty tol'able careworn an' floppy, an' the stranger +sez, "I happen to have a couple o' new decks what have never been +opened. We'll open one in honor o' the occasion." + +"This deck is good enough," sez Dick, an' he spoke purty harsh. As +me an' the ol' man looked up, our glances met an' we showed +surprise. Dick wasn't a bit like himself; but the stranger didn't +take no offense, he just smiled a bit careless an' put his cards on +the stand, sayin, "Well, I'll just leave 'em here handy, an' if we +decide to use 'em later we can open 'em up. For my part, I like a +new deck." + +"So do I," sez the ol' man. "I'm sorry mine are so bum. I meant to +send for some new ones a long time ago, but I allus forgot it." + +The stranger took out a healthy lookin' stack o' gold, Dick an' +Jabez did the same, an' my little squad o' yella fellers looked +purty tol'able squeezy. Dick was tremendous sober; his face was +pale, his eyes were hid away beneath his brows, an' kept dartin' +here an' there like the eyes of a hawk. Now for me, I allus have a +curious promonition when anything is goin' to happen, an' I began to +have it bad. + +Still the longer we played the easier Dick got in his ways, an' +purty soon he was smilin' as open-faced as a dollar watch. We played +along nice an' gentle; my luck arrived early, an purty soon the +yella fellers begun to percalate in my direction. About half-past +ten Piker had to dig up some more funds, an' he sez, "It's gettin' +kind o' late, boys, let's raise the edge a bit. Hawkins there has +had all the luck so far, an' when it changes we ought to have a show +to get back our riskin's." + +"All right," sez Jabez, "we'll double." + +"The stakes suit me all right," sez Dick. "In fact, I'd ruther split +'em." + +I was feelin' purty consid'able opulent myself, so I voted to +double. + +"Three to one," sez Piker, "the stakes are doubled." + +"The original agreement can't be changed durin' a game without the +unanimous consent of all the players," sez Dick, speakin' like a +judge; "but as the rest of you wish it, I'll give mine." + +From that on the luck shifted. Two or three times I see a queer look +steal across the ol' man's face; but everything was out in the open, +as far as I could see. I played even Steven; but the wind shifted +plumb away from Jabez, an' he lost steady. Part of the time Dick +corraled the pots, an' part of the time me an' Piker provided +shelter for 'em: but no matter who won, the ol' man lost. + +Twice he frowned purty serious, an' once I caught him givin' Dick a +queer hurt look. The ol' man hadn't a drop o' welcher blood in his +make-up; but cheatin' was spelled in mighty red letters to 'im. Dick +was smilin' now as sweet as a girl baby, an' makin' funny, joshin' +remarks, which was a new turn for him; but at the same time the' was +somethin' in his face that wasn't altogether pleasant. + +When midnight arrived Dick an' Piker was each about two thousand +ahead, I was slidin' back to taw, an' the old man was payin' the +fiddler. We had doubled the edge again at eleven, an' were usin' +both the strange decks, changin' every few deals. Then the luck +began to settle to Dick. Two out of three times on his own deals, +an' every single time on Piker's deals, the devidends slid into +Dick's coffers, while I was growin' resigned to havin' had a good +run for my money. Jabez' face was drawn an' worried, which was +queer, 'cause he was allus a royal loser. + +At last we had built up a four-story jack-pot, an' every feller's +face wore the take-off-your-hat-to-me smile. It was Dick's deal an' +we all held three cards except Jabez who had furnished openers. He +only wintered through a pair, but after he looked at his draw he +settled back to enjoy himself. I held three kings an' a brace o +trays. It looked to me as if that jack-pot belonged to Happy +Hawkins. The peculiar expression had wore off Jabez' face, an' his +eyes had a glad glint in 'em. I was only in for my table stakes, so +I didn't make much of a noise, nohow; but the other three kept +boostin' her up till it begun to look like a man's game all right. + +"If you'll excuse the limit, I'd like to show my appreciation of +this little hand by bettin' a hundred on it," sez Piker. + +"I'm willin'," sez Jabez, "an' if it goes, why, I'll see your +appreciation an' raise you five hundred." "I don't have any more +vote," sez I, "just enjoy yourselves." + +"Oh, no, Happy," sez Dick, as serious as a hangman; "no matter if we +raise the edge every hand, you must vote on it each time. We must be +perfectly regular, you know, because this is merely a friendly +little game to pass away the evening, you remember. I shall make no +objections." + +Jabez had slid deep into his chair, an' now he had a fierce scowl on +his face. "That was MY toe you was a-pressin'," he sez, lookin' +Piker between the eyes. + +"I beg your pardon," sez Piker, laughin' easy; "I thought it was +Silv--I mean Whittington's. I wanted him to keep still until after +this hand was out. Then I'll be willin' to quit or go back to the +old limit, or keep right along with the lid off." + +I glanced at Dick; an' talk about jerk-lightnin'! Well, I can't see +yet what kept Piker from gettin' scorched; but Jabez was in a good +humor again from lookin' at his royalty, so he turns to Dick an' +sez, "Now, Dick, Piker's company, you know, an' I reckon we'd better +humor him. What do you say?" + +"Off goes the lid," sez Dick. + +They bet around awhile longer until nearly all of Dick's money was +in the pot an' Jabez had a neat little pile of checks representin' +him. Then Dick bet his balance an' called. We all laid down with a +satisfied grin. Jabez had queens full on jacks, Piker had three +bullets an' a team o' ten-spots; Dick had a royal straight flush, +an' I had a nervous chill. Three aristocratic fulls an' a royal +straight! Nobody spoke, an' the money stayed where it was, in the +center of the table. Finally the of man sez, makin' an effort to +speak cordial, "Well, I've had enough for one evenin', I guess I'll +quit." "Now, boys," sez Dick, in a low, husky voice, "I don't +believe in gamblin'. I only went into this to be sociable, an' I +want you all to take your money back." + +We sat an' looked at Dick with our eyes poppin' out, 'cause that +wasn't our way o' playin' the game in that neighborhood. Suddenly +the ol' man whirled an' glared at Piker. "What the hell do you mean +by pressin' my toe?" he growls between his set teeth. "This is the +fourth time you've done it to-night." + +Piker seemed confused, an' mumbled an' stammered, an' couldn't +hardly speak at all. "It ain't my custom to play with strangers," +sez Jabez, an' he was fast gettin' into the dangerous stage, "but +you are my guest. I won't take my money back, but if Dick is +willin', I'll write him a check for yours an' you can take your +condemned filthy gold an' get out o' here." + +"I ain't askin' my money back," sez Piker. "I'm game, I am; but I +can't savvy this scheme o' dividin' up after the game." He paused a +second, an' then sez clear an' distinct, "This ain't exactly the way +'at Silver Dick used to play the game when he made a business of +it." + +Piker leaned back an' stared at Dick in a sneerin' sort of way; +while me an' the ol' man stared at him with our eyes poppin' out. +Silver Dick, Silver Dick: every one in the West had heard of Silver +Dick. It didn't seem possible; but as me an' Jabez sat gazin' at +him, we knew 'at our Dick was Silver Dick the gambler, an' the +smoothest article, accordin' to reports, 'at ever threw a card. Dick +didn't say a word; just sat there with his face pale as a sheet, an' +his glitterin' black eyes dartin' flame at Piker's nasty grin. + +"I see you don't recognize me with a full beard," sez Piker; "but +down at Laramie they called me Jo Denton. It was my cousin, Big +Brown, that you shot." + +"Do you happen to know what I shot him for?" Dick's face was as hard +as marble, an' his voice was as cold as ice. + +"I wasn't there at the time," sez Piker in an irritatin' voice, "but +I know that it was because he spoke about it bein' a little peculiar +that you held such wonderful good hands on your own deal." + +Dick didn't make no reply, but he slipped his hand inside his shirt, +an' I knew he had his gun there. + +"I say that this was the EXCUSE for your shootin';" Piker went on, +bent on gettin' all the trouble the' was; "but I allus believed, +myself, that it started over the woman you was keepin'." + +Dick's gun flashed in the air; but quick as a wink ol' Cast Steel +knocked it up with his right hand, an' struck at Dick with his left. +The bullet crashed through the ceiling, an' Dick grabbed Jabez' +wrist at the same instant. Piker made a quick snap under the table, +a gun went off, an' the bullet tore through the slack o' Dick's vest +an' spinged into the wall behind him. + +Then I kicked off my hobbles an' sailed in on my own hook. Dick had +allus been white to me--an' back in the old days he was the squarest +feller on earth--so I felt mightly relieved when I caught Piker in +the center of the forehead with a full left swing. It was a blow 'at +nobody didn't have no grounds to complain of. The chair flew over +backwards, Piker's feet made a lovely circle, an' his head tried to +insinuate itself into the mopboard. He remained quiet, an' I started +in to satisfy my curiosity. + +"Stay where you are," commanded Dick, an' I stuck in my tracks. "No +man is allowed to doubt my deal without havin' something to remind +him of it. I ain't a-goin' to kill that snake now; but I do intend +to remove his trigger fingers." + +Dick still held Jabez by a peculiar twist in the wrist 'at made the +ol' man wince a little; he held his gun ready, an' calmly sized up +Piker's hand, which was flattened out again the wall. I stood where +I was, an' the room was so quiet it hurt your ears. + +A grin of wolfish joy came into Dick's face as he stood there with +his gun back of his head an' his thumb on the hammer--of course he +was a snap-shooter--these nervous fellers allus are. It seemed as if +we had all been in that same position for ages, when suddenly a +voice said, "Why, Dad, what's the matter?" + +It was Barbie with her hair all rumpled up an' a loose gray wrapper +on. Dick dropped his hands to his side an' turned his face away; +while Jabez put his arm about her an' told her that we had had a +little mix-up but that it was all over now an' she must go back to +bed. She reared up an' vetoed the motion without parley; but the ol' +man finally convinced her, an' she agreed to go if we'd promise not +to stir up any more trouble. Me an' Jabez promised quick, but Dick +never said a word. She looked him in the face mighty beseechful, but +he wouldn't look at her; an' when he finally promised not to START +any more fuss his voice was so low you could hardly hear him. + +She was pale as a ghost, an' Dick's voice made her all the more +suspicious. "I'll not go one step," she said at last, sinkin' down +in a chair; but Dick walked over to her an' asked her to step into +the next room with him a minute. They only talked together a few +moments, an' then we heard her give a stifled sob an' go back +upstairs. I never see such a change as had come over Jabez. His face +was drawn an' haggard like the face of a man lost in the desert +without water. + +The time had come at last when another man stood between his +daughter--his greatest treasure on earth--an' himself. I remembered +what Friar Tuck had said about the time comin' when she'd be all +girl an' would stand before him with the questions of life in her +eyes, an' I pitied him, God knows I pitied him. + + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE + +CAST STEEL + + +Jabez had got the rope on himself when Dick came back, an' he spoke +to him in the voice of a father sayin' farewell to the son who had +gone wrong once too often. "I don't care nothin' about the money, +Dick," he said. "You'd 'a' been welcome to all I had; but I can't +forgive you about my little girl. You made her love you, you schemed +to do it, an' you came here with that end in view. I trusted you +from the ground up, but I can see a heap o' things now 'at I +wouldn't see before. I had a letter written from Bill Andrews +tellin' me 'at he had heard you brag 'at you intended to get holt o' +my money, an' that it would pay me to search you instead o' +suspectin' him--" + +"Where was the letter from?" asked Dick. + +"Laramie," sez the ol' man. + +"Kind o' curious," sez Dick, an' his vice was as bitter as the dregs +o' sin; "that's where Denton came from too." + +"You deceived me all along," sez the ol' man, not payin' much heed +to Dick, but speakin' mostly to himself. "You know 'at what I hate +worse'n anything else is deceit--an' here you've been fast an' loose +with women--" Dick tried to say somethin', but the ol' man stopped +him. "That was bad enough," he went on, "but I'm no fool; I know the +world, an' I could forgive you a good deal; but hang it, I never +could forgive you bein' a professional gambler--a man that lives by +deceit an' trickery an' false pretenses. Lookin' back now, it +strikes me as bein' mighty curious how you got the best o' Piker's +deals too. Was Piker or Denton, or whatever his name is, a gambler +too?" + +"He was," answered Dick in a low tone. + +The ol' man squared himself, an' his face was as fierce as the face +of an ol' she bear. "Of all the human snakes I ever heard of, you +crawl the closest to the ground. You come here an' act as square as +a man can until you have made us all think the world of ya; an' yet +in your black heart you were all the time plottin' to get my money, +usin' my little girl as a burglar would use a bar to open a safe +with. Even then you couldn't wait in patience; your inborn +cussedness forced you to steal an' cheat--and yet, boy, I could +almost forgive you for deceivin' me, but I can't never forgive you +for deceivin' my little girl. You stand there with a gun in your +hand an' I stand here with none; you brag 'at no man can't doubt +your dealin' without havin' cause to remember it; but I tell you to +your teeth that you're a sneak an' a cheat an' a low-grade coward." + +Dick stood with his head thrown back an' his left hand clenched, +while his right gripped the butt of his gun so fierce that the +knuckles stood out white as chalk an' the veins was black an' +swollen. His bosom was heavin', his teeth showed in a threatenin' +white line, an' all the savage th' was in him was cryin' kill, kill, +kill! + +He tottered a little when he took a step toward Jabez; but he laid +the gun on the table with the butt pointin' towards Jabez, an' then +he went back to the wall an' folded his arms. He stood lookin' at +Jabez for a moment, an' then he sez slow an' soft an' creepy: "Every +word you have said from start to finish is a lie; and you yourself +are a liar." + +The ol' man choked. He loosened the collar around his neck, fairly +gaspin' for breath; an' then he grabbed up the gun an' held it ready +to drop on Dick's heart. A curious expression came over Dick as he +looked into Jabez' face; a tired, heart-achy smile as though he'd be +so glad to be all through with it that he wouldn't care a great deal +how it was done. Ol' Cast Steel was livin' up to his name if ever a +man did. The' wasn't a sign of anger in his face by this time, +nothin' but one grim purpose, an' it was horrid. It looked like a +plain case o' suicide on Dick's part, an' I was just makin' up my +mind whether or not it would be polite to interfere, when the door +opened noiselessly an' Barbie stood in the openin'. + +She seemed turned to stone for a second, an' then she gave a spring +an' grabbed the ol' man's arm. "Jabez Judson, what are you doin'?" +she said, an' the' wasn't much blood relation in her tone. + +The ol' man lowered his gun an' sank into a chair, while Barbie +stood with her hands on her hips an' looked from one to the other of +us. Then it would be the time for our eyes to hit the carpet. "Now I +want to know the meanin' o' this," sez she, "an' I want the full +truth. This is nice doin's over a game o' cards. I wish I had +thought to set up a bar, so you'd all felt a little more at home. +What's it about?" + +We didn't none of us seem to have a great deal to say, but just +stood there lookin' foolish. Finally Dick came out of it an' sez, "I +have been accused of cheatin' an' lyin' an' stealin'. The +circumstantial evidence is all again me, so I shall have to go away, +but you remember all I told you out in the other room--an' on our +rides across the plain, an' on our walks in the moonlight; an' +Barbie, girl, don't you believe a word of it. + +"Good-bye, Happy--I know you an' you know me. Jabez Judson, I know +it ain't no use to attempt any explanation; but I give you my word +of honor--an' I set just as much store by it as any man in all the +world--that I never stacked a deck o' cards in my life, an' I never +held a single underhanded thought again you; while as for Barbie-- +well, Barbie knows. Good-bye." + +Dick turned on his heel an' stalked out o' the room, Barbie dropped +into a chair sobbin', an' me an' the old man continued to look like +the genuine guilty parties. Then it occurred to me that mebbe it +would be wise to see if Piker was worth botherin' with. First thing +I did though was to see where he had helt his gun when he fired +beneath the table. The' wasn't no gun on the floor, an' I couldn't +nowise savvy it. + +He had one gun in his holster, but he couldn't have pulled it out +without bein' seen, an' he couldn't have put it back, nohow. I was +plumb mystified, an' had about give it up when I came across it. I +own up it was a clever dodge, but snakish to an extreme. He had +fashioned a rig just above his knee, an' when he had sat down the +gun had been pointin' at Dick all through the game, an' nothin' but +Jabez makin' Dick move had saved him. It was a blood-thirsty scheme, +an' I felt like stampin' his face into a jelly. + +His head was still bent over an' he was black in the face; but when +I straightened him out an' soused a lot o' water over him, he came +out of it, an' I fair itched to make him eat his gun--knee-riggin' +an' all! He sat up an' began to tell what a low-down, sneakin' cuss +Dick had allus been. I let him sing a couple o' verses, an' then I +sez: "Now, you look here, you slimy spider. Dick's too busy just now +to attend to your case an' if you don't swaller them few remarks +instant I'll be obliged to prepare you for the coroner myself. I've +knowed Dick sometime, an' I've knowed several other men; an' I know +enough to know that such a dust-eatin' lizard as you never could +know enough to know what such a man as Dick was thinkin' out or +plannin' to do. An' furthermore, you're a liar in your heart, an' +still further more, I don't like your face; an' one other +furthermore--the longer I look at you the madder I get! My advice to +you, an' I give it in the name o' peace an' sobriety, an' because +the' 's a lady present, is to start right now to a more salubrious +climate--you an' your knee-gun an' your black lies an' your marked +decks. Do you hear what I say? Are you goin' to go?" + +I was surely losin' my temper; the' was a blood taste in my throat, +an' when I asked him the question I kicked him gently in the chest, +just to let him know 'at I was ready for his verdict. + +He was a coward. He just lunched himself away from me on his back +an' whined somethin' about only tryin' to show us the truth an' not +wantin' any trouble, an' a lot o' such foolishness; but I soon +wearied of it, an' grabbed him by the collar an' yanked him to his +feet, an' sez, "Now answer me one question--who told you that Dick +was here?" + +"Bill Andrews," he sez; an' I opened the door an' kicked him through +it: but in a minute back he comes, cringin' like a cur. "Don't send +me away until after I see what direction Silver takes," he +whimpered. "He never forgives; He'll kill me if he sees me; let me +stay until after he starts." + +I laughed. "Why, you fool you," I sez, "if he SHOULD happen to ruin +you beyond repair you don't imagine any one would put on mournin' do +ya? But if it's goin' to make your mind any easier I stand ready to +give you a written guarantee 'at he won't use any knee-gun to do it +with. Now you get; I'm strainin' myself to keep from spoilin' you on +my own hook." + +I was in an advanced state of bein' exasperated, an' I walked up to +him intendin' to brand him a few with the butt of his own gun, when +Barbie spoke low an' cold, but in a voice fairly jagged with scorn: +"Let the creature alone; I don't want Dick to soil his boots." +Barbie's voice had lost its college finish, an' she was in the mood +to do a little shootin' herself just then. + +Dick finished his packin' in short order, an' went out an' saddled +his pony an' rode away toward Danders an' Laramie. We all set like +corpse-watchers for half an hour longer, an' then Jabez straightened +up an' sez to Piker; "Take your money out o' that pot an' never get +caught in this neighborhood again. Your partner started toward +Laramie; when you see him tell him I'll send the full amount o' the +pot to him as soon as he sends me his address. You can also tell him +that I'll kill him if he ever sets foot on this ranch again." + +Barbie was standin' at the window lookin' out into the moonlight +which had swallered up the best part of her world. When Jabez +finished speakin' she turned around an' looked at Piker. "I can't +figger out just whose dog-robber yon are," she sez; "but next time +you go gunnin' for Silver Dick--you better take the whole gang with +you." + +It fair hurt me to see Barbie's face, so hard it was an' so +different from the real Barbie: but it warmed my heart to hear the +way she made that Silver Dick ring out. Oh, she was a thoroughbred +every inch of her, that girl was. Piker didn't say a word; he just +picked up his coin an' walked out o' the room, an' I raised up the +window an' drew a deep breath. The blame pole-cat had managed to +slip out an' saddle his pony about supper time, an' in a second he +dashed away toward Webb Station, mighty thankful in his nasty little +heart that he wasn't bound for hell, where he rightly belonged. + +"Did you ever know Dick before he came here, Happy?" asked Barbie. + +"I swear to heaven that I never knew that our Dick was Silver Dick +until this very night," sez I; "but I'd be willing to stake my life +on his word, an' I'd take it again the word of any other livin' man- +-bar none." + +"Thank you, Happy. Good-night." She held her head high as she walked +out o' the room; but I knew that livin' serpents was tearin' at her +heart. + +Ol' Cast Steel sat for an hour, his chin on his hands an' his elbows +on the table, lookin' at the pile of money an' checks on the table +before him. + +"Gold, gold, gold!" he mutters at last; "it builds the churches an' +the schoolhouses an' the homes; an' it fills the jails and the +insane asylums an' hell itself. It drives brother to murder brother, +an' neither love nor friendship is proof against its curse. It +starves those who scorn it, while those who pay out their souls for +it find themselves sinking, sinking, sinking in its hideous +quicksand until at last it closes above their mad screams. God! if I +only had my life to live over!" + +That was just the way he said it, deep an' hoarse an' coning between +his set teeth; an' I felt the hair raisin' on my head. He looked +like a lost soul, an' the whites of his eyes showed in ghastly rings +around the pupils. + +"You take this rubbish, Happy," sez he, turnin' on me. "You're too +much like the birds an' the beasts for it to ever injure you. Take +it an' spend it--drink it, throw it away, burn it up, destroy it, +an' when it is gone come back here an' live in the open again an' +you'll never be far from the spirit of God." + +Well, I knew it was ol' Cast Steel who was speakin', but it was +mighty hard to believe it. "I don't mean no disrespect to you, +Jabez," I sez, edgin' toward the door, "but I'll see you damned +first." An' I slid outside an' straddled a pony an' rode till the +dawn wind blew all the fever out of me an' let the sunshine in. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR + +FEMININE LOGIC + + +Well, the Diamond Dot was sure a dismal dump after that. Every one +had liked Dick; but they didn't know how much until he was snuffed +out like the flame of a candle. The ol' man had me make a stagger at +fillin' Dick's shoes; but it wasn't what a truthful man would call a +coal-ossal success. Dick had left a lot of directions, tellin' how +to judge the markets an' how to make improvements without feelin' +the cost, an' a dozen other things that. I had allus supposed was +simply a mixture o' luck an' Providence; but it wasn't in my line to +figger things out on paper. Give me the actual cattle an' I could +nurse 'em along through sand-storm an' blizzard, an' round 'em up in +the President's back yard; but at that time they didn't signify much +to me when they was corraled up on a sheet of paper. When it cane to +action I was as prepossessed as a clerk at a pie counter; but I +didn't have the slightest symptom of what they call the legal mind. + +The' wouldn't much 'a' come of it; but one day Barbie came out of +her daze an' walked into the office where I was sweatin' over some +of Dick's prognostications, stuck a pencil behind her ear, an' waded +into 'em; an' from that on I took off my hat to a college edication. +Dick may have been on the queer all right, but he was smooth enough +to hide it. Anyhow, ol' man Judson's bank account was a heap +plumper'n it was when Dick had his first whack at it, an' Dick had +drawn a mighty stately salery himself. But he earned it, for the +ranch was in strictly modern order an' runnin' on a passenger +schedule. + +It allus gave me a hurtin' in the chest to see either Barbie or the +ol' man himself those days. The' was a set look in Barbie's eyes; +cold an' unflinchin' an' defiant. I once saw the same expression in +the eyes of a trapped mountain lion. The ol' man's face was all +plowed up too. He reminded me of an Injun up to Port Bridger. A +Shoshone he was from the Wind River country, an' he had the look of +an eagle; but he got a holt of some alcohol an' upset a kettle o' +boilin' grease on himself. He lived for eight days with part of his +bones stickin' through, but never givin' a groan; an' I ain't got +the look of his face out o' my system yet. Jabez reminded me of it a +heap: an' he was just about as noisy over it too. I never supposed +that the Diamond Dot could get to lookin' so much like a desert +island to me. I got to feelin' like one who had been sent up for +life, an' I would sure have made a break for freedom if it hadn't +been for the little girl. I couldn't bear to leave her. + +One of the saddest things I ever see in my whole life was the +difference between the way she an' Jabez acted an' the way they used +to. I've heard preachers beseech their victims to live in peace an' +harmony together, an' not to quarrel or complain; an' right at the +time it didn't sound so empty an' mockish; but when you come to boil +it down the' ain't nothin' in that theory. Why, I'd seen the ol' man +hunt Barbie all forenoon just to pick a quarrel with her; an' they +would fuss an' stew an' revile each other an' keep it up all through +dinner; an' then go off in the afternoon an' scrap from wire to +wire; but they was enjoyin' themselves fine, an' addin' to their +stock of what is called mutual respect. Every time one of 'em would +land it would cheer him up an' put the other one on his mettle; an' +they certainly did get more comfort an' brotherly love out of it +than most folks does out of a prayer-meetin'; but after Dick went +away the' wasn't no more quarrels. No, they was as differential as a +pair of Japanese ambassadors; an' she never called him Dad again-- +never once! an' I could see him a-hunngerin' for it with the look in +his eyes a young cow has when she is huntin' for the little wet calf +the coyotes has beat her to. It was allus, "Yes, sir," or "No, sir," +until I could almost hear the ol' man's heart a-breakin' in his +breast. + +She never complained none, Barbie didn't. She plowed through her +work as though it was goin' to bring him back to her; an' when she +couldn't think of anything else to do she would tramp off to the +hills or ride like the wind over the roughest roads she could find. +Time an' again she wouldn't be able to sleep, but would steal out o' +the house, an' we could hear her guitar sobbin' an' wailin of in the +night; but if Barbie herself ever shed a tear it never left a mark +on her cheek nor put a glaze to her eye. + +The' was one knoll not far from the house which commanded the view a +long way toward Danders in one direction, an' a long way toward Webb +Station in another, an' she spent about ten minutes each evenin' on +this knoll. Oh, it used to hurt, it used to hurt, to see that purty +little light-hearted creature makin' her fight all alone, an' never +lettin' another livin' bein' come within hailin' distance. At times +it was all I could do to keep from goin' gunnin' for Dick myself. + +Once she sez to me, "Happy, if any mail comes to me I want to get it +myself, an' I want you to see that I do get it" + +"Barbie," sez I, "as far as my feeble power goes you'll get your +mail; an' if it happens to involve any other male--why, from this +on, I'm under your orders." She was grateful all right, an' tried to +smile, but it was a purty successful failure. + +Soon the winter settled down an' the snow blotted out the trails, +but she never heard from him. The ol' man had wrote to the +postmaster at Laramie, an' he had answered that Dick had allus +played fair accordin' to the best o' his belief. He went on to say +that Dick was generally counted about the best citizen they had; but +that after he had shut Big Brown he had pulled out an' no one knew +where he was. He said 'at Brown hadn't died, which was a cause for +sorrow to the whole town. He also said that Denton would be a +disgrace to coyote parents. He furthermore went on to state that +Dick still owned quite a little property in Laramie. The old man +showed me an' Barbie the letter; but it didn't help much. + +When Thanksgivin' hove in sight the ol' man dug up a bottle o' +whiskey, an' put on a few ruffles to sort o' stiffen up his back; +an' one day after dinner he sez to Barbie, "Now you just stay +settin'." She was in the habit of estimatin' just how little +nurishment it would take to run her to the next feed, gettin' it +into her in the shortest possible time, an' then makin' a streak for +it. + +"Now, little girl," sez Jabez, tryin' to look joyous an' free from +care, "you are leadin' too sober a life. I want to see you happy +again. I want to see you laughin' about the house, like you used to. +Can't you sort o' liven up a little?" + +"I might," sez she, with the first sneer I ever see her use on the +ol' man, "I might, if you'd give me the rest o' the bottle you got +your own gaiety out of." + +Cast Steel's face turned as red as a brick, an' his fist doubled up. +"That's a sample o' your idee of respect, is it? You're gettin' too +infernal biggoty. Now you pay attention. I want to have a little +gatherin' here Thanks-givin'. Will you, or will you not, see that +the arrangements are attended to?" + +"Yes, sir," sez Barbie, lookin' down at her plate. "How many guests +will the' be?" + +"Well, how can I tell?" sez Jabez. "Can you get ready for twenty?" + +"Yes, sir," answers Barbie, never liftin' her eyes. + +"Yes, sir; yes, sir; yes, sir!" yells the of man. "I get everlastin' +tired o' your `yes, sirs.' Am I or am I not your ol' Dad?" "If you +prefer, I can call you father," sez she, like she was talkin' to the +moon through a telephone. "Dad is not correct English; it is a +kalowquism." + +This was allus like a pail o' water to the of man. Nothin' stung him +any worse than to have her peel a couple o' layers off her edication +an' chuck 'em at him. + +"Do you know what is apt to happen if you keep on pesterin' me?" he +sez, glarin' at her. "Do you think 'at you're too big to be +whipped?" + +She raised her eyes an' looked at him then. Poor feller, he could +'a' torn his tongue out by the roots the minute it was guilty o' +that fool speech; but she didn't spare him. She let him have the +full effect o' that look, an' he seemed to shrivel up. "I reckon +you're big enough to whip me--once," she said; "but I'm of age, an' +I'm mighty sure 'at that would be the finishin' touch 'at would +break the bonds what seem to hold me to this house. I probably have +bad blood o' some kind in me; but I'm not so ill-favored but what I +can find a man to go along with me when I do conclude to go." She +looked at me, an' the ol' man looked at me, an' I felt like a red- +hot stove; but I straightened back in my chair, an' I cleared my +throat. "I ain't no mind-reader," sez I, "but I'm bettin' on that +same card." + +The ol' man couldn't think up a come-back; so in about a minute he +pushed back his chair, upsettin' it an' lettin' it lay where it +fell. He went up to his room, slammin' the door after him, an' +Barbie got out a pony an' galloped off to the hills. + +But the ol' man hadn't give up his project. He opened it again, an' +was mighty crafty in the way he handled it, until finally he +engineered it through. The' was purt' nigh forty of 'em who arrived +to make merry over Thanksgivin'. Some of 'em came the day before, +an' some of 'em two days before, an' some didn't arrive till the day +itself, 'cause they had lived such a ways. The' was four women an' +three unmarried ladies, countin' Miss Wiggins, the Spike Crick +schoolmarm, who was a friendly little thing, though a shade too +coltish for her years. Most o' the men was still liable to +matrimony. + +Jabez had an idee in his head, an' it didn't take no ferret to nose +it out, neither. He was extra cordial to the store-keeper from Webb +Station, an' a young Englishman by the name o' Hawthorn, finally +settlin' down to Hawthorn an' playin' him wide open. We had a mighty +sociable time, an' whenever we wasn't eatin' we played games. Barbie +did just exactly what of Cast Steel played her to do. She was too +red-blooded to let an outsider see 'at she'd been bad hurt; so she +brazened up an' laughed an' danced an' sang, an' showed 'em games +they hadn't never dreamt of before. + +Most of 'em went home by Sunday night, but Hawthorn was prevailed +upon to stay a week longer. He had a little ranch up in the hills, +an' seemed a well-meanin' sort of a feller, but slow. He belonged to +the show-me club, an' had all his facical muscles spiked fast for +fear they'd come loose an' grin before he saw the point himself. + +Barbie see through the ol' man's lead, an' she took her revenge out +on Hawthorn. She would lean forward an' hold his eye, an' say, in +the sweetest voice you ever heard, "Oh. Mr. Hawthorn, I want to tell +you somethin' that happened at school;" an' then she would start in +an' tell some long-winded tale 'at didn't have no more point than a +mush room, an' as she told along she would call his attention to +certain details as though they was goin' to figger in at the wind- +up. When she would reach the end she would break out in a peal o' +spontunious laughter; while he would look as if he had been lost in +the heart of a great city without his name-plate on. Still, he had a +certain breedy look about him, an' before the week was up she grew +ashamed of her-self an' showed him a good time. + +He was one o' these sad ones--sentimental an' romantic, with a bad +case o' chronic lonesomeness; an' one twilight he told her a +pathetic little love story about a girl back in England what had had +sense enough to cut him out of her assets when he had trooped over +to this country to punch a fortune out o' beef cattle. This had been +about five years previous; but his heart still ached about it-- +though it hadn't cut his appetite so you could notice. She treated +him mighty gentle after this, an' when he started to ride away Jabez +had the look of a man what had filled his hand. + +In about a week he came over an' stayed for a couple o' days, an' he +showed up at Christmas too; an' about once a week after that he'd +drop in an' stay four or five days. Early in March he paid a visit +to his own ranch to ready things up for spring, an' the day after he +was gone Jabez sez to Barbie at dinner, "Now, Mr Hawthorn is a +gentle man. He asked me for the honor of winnin' your hand in holy +wedlock; an' I have give my consent." + +Barbie went along eatin' her meal, an' purty soon Jabez sez, "Well, +did you hear what I had to say?" + +"Why, certainly I did," sez Barbie, calmly. + +"What have you got to say about it?" sez he. + +"Oh, nothin' in particular," sez she. "It was very polite in him to +ask, an' very kind in you to give your consent; but I can't see as +it interests me much. I can't see that he has any show of winnin' +the hand. I promised that once, an' I ain't never got the promise +back." + +"Yes," snaps Jabez, "an' who did you promise it to? To a sneak who +didn't care a pin for you but was only after my money. If he was +honest why didn't he ask me, the same as Hawthorn did?" + +"Of course I can't tell for sure," sez she, without raisin' her +voice or changin' her expression, "but I thought at the time that it +was the hand itself he wanted, an' not merely permission to set an' +wish for it. In this life a man generally gets what he asks for. +Dick got the hand." + +"Seems to set a heap o' store by it," sez the ol' man, edgin' up his +voice cruel an' tantalizin'. "Where's this Dick now; when did you +last hear from this winner of hands?" + +It was a fierce stab, an' Barbie went white as a sheet; but she +faced him cool an' steady. "I ain't never heard from him since the +day he left; but I trust him just the same. The hand will be his +when he chooses to claim it; or if he never comes back at all--why +the hand will still be his." + +Cast Steel got on his hind legs an' struck the table till every dish +on it jumped, an' I rose a bit myself; but Barbie only curled her +little red lip. "Curse him," sez the ol' man, "curse him, wherever +he is an' wherever he goes. He has ruined my life an' he has ruined +yours; an' if he ever steps foot on this ranch again, I'll--" + +"Stop!" sez Barbie, springin' to her feet. "You give me more sadness +every day I live than Dick has altogether; but for pity's sake don't +bind yourself by a threat. Wait till he comes back, an' be free to +meet him like a man, not like a thug pledged to murder." + +"What do you know about him?" sez the ol' man, sittin' down. "For +all you know, he may be robbin' trains for a livin'. It would be +right in his line." + +"For all I know, robbin' trains was where you got your start," sez +Barbie; an' the of man's face turned gray an' his eyes stuck out +like picture nails. He wasn't used to gettin' it quite so +unpolluted, an' it gave him a nasty jar. + +"How do you know 'at he ain't livin' with the woman he kept over at +Laramie?" sez Jabez, tryin' to get the whip hand again. "How do you +know he ain't married?" + +"An' how do I know 'at you ever was married--" she stopped short, +bitin' her lip an' turnin' red with shame. "I know it's well nigh +hopeless to plead with a natural bully," she sez in a new tone; "but +I do wish 'at you'd let me alone. You're destroyin' my respect for +everything. I can't stand this much longer. If I can't live here in +peace I'll have to hunt a new place to live; but as long as I do +stay here you will have to act like a man--even if you can't act +like a father. I think that in the future I shall take my meals +alone." + +"I do want to act like a father, little girl. That's what I want +most of all. If you would only go back to the old times, if you +would only get this sneak out of your head"--Jabez had started in +gentle an' repentent, but the minute he thought of Dick again he +flared out white with rage--"an' you might just as well get him out +of your head, 'cause he's the same as dead to you. I hate him! I +hate every sneak; an' I hate every lie--spoken or lived, I hate a +lie!" + +The ol' man leaned forward, shaking with anger, an' Barbie got up +like a queen an' walked out o' the room as though she was steppin' +on the necks of the airy-stockracy. She went to the office, an' +after a couple o' minutes I follered her, expectin' to cheer her up +a bit; but she wasn't mournin' none; she was workin' like a steam +engine, with her face cold an' white except for a little patch o' +red in each cheek; an' when she raised her eyes to mine I knew 'at +the ol' man had gone a link too far. + +After me and Barbie had taken up Dick's work we had divided his +wages, an' she had a nice little roll of her own corded away. I +didn't ask no questions, but it was plain as day that she had jerked +up her tie-rope; an' the next time Cast Steel used the spurs he was +goin' to be dumped off an' she was goin' to flit the trail for +Never-again. I didn't blame her a mite; an' though I didn't pester +her with queries nor smother her with advice nor sicken her with +consolation nor madden her with pity, I did give her the man-to-man +look, an' she knew 'at all she had to do was to issue orders. + +It was that very afternoon that she started to correctin' my talk +an' stimulatin' my ambition, an' tellin' me about it never bein' too +late to mend; an' while I couldn't quite decide just what she was +drivin' at I saw that when she found she couldn't trust her cinches +any longer we was both goin' to jump together. About five o'clock +she put her hand on my shoulder an' sez: "We've been mighty good +pals, Happy Hawkins; an' while you ain't parlor-broke nor city-wise, +any time 'at anybody counts on you they don't have to count over." + +She walked softly out o' the office, an' I sat until it was long +after dark. I couldn't believe 'at she was desperate enough to marry +me; I could see the gulf between us plain enough, an' the higher you +are the plainer you can see the difference; but I could see that +unless Jabez changed his ways, why, the oldest man the' was couldn't +tell how far Barbie would go. I didn't think a bit of myself, I can +say that much; all I looked at was what would make her the happiest, +an' she was welcome to take my life any way she wanted. If she chose +to drag it out for fifty years, or if she selected that I cash it in +the next hour, my only regret would be that I hadn't but one life to +give her. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE + +THE WAYS OF WOMANKIND + + +Things went along purty much the same after that; but I could see +'at the ol' man sensed a new tone in things, an' he begun to look +agey. He was still gallin' on Barbie, but I couldn't help but feel +mighty sorry for him. He had paid all them years 'at she was away at +school, out o' the joy of his own heart, lookin' for his pay in the +time when she'd come back an' be his chum again, an' here they was +with a wall of ice between 'em an' nairy a lovin' glance to melt it +down. + +The' come a warm spell toward the last o' the month; an' one evenin' +just as we was finishin' supper we heard a cry o' distress in a +man's voice--an' the cry sounded like "Barbie!" I reckon all our +hearts stood still, an' I reckon we all thought exactly the same +thing. In about a minute the cry came again, an' the ol' man jumped +to his feet an' pulled his gun. "If that's Silver Dick," sez he, +"I'll kill him." + +Barbie had also sprung up, an' she looked him square in the eyes. +"If you harm a hair of his head I'll--I'll do some shootin' myself." + +She pulled a little gun out of her bosom, an' we all stood quiet for +a moment. It was easy to see 'at she wasn't bluffin': but I'm purty +sure that Jabez an' I had different idees as to what she meant. +Jabez thought she meant him self; but he hadn't got the name o' Cast +Steel for nothin', an' a sort of a grim smile crept onto his face. +We stood still for a moment, an' then we went out together, an' +before long we heard the sound again--a long, waverin', ghostly call +in the gatherin' twilight. + +We hurried along, an' purty soon we saw a man lyin' across the +trail. The ol' man held his gun in his hand, an' so did Barbie, +while I walked a step behind doin' a heap o' thinkin'. If the ol' +man killed Dick, Barbie would shoot herself; if any one stopped the +ol' man that one would take on weight exceedin' fast, unless he +crippled the of man first. I finally made up my mind that I would +try to overpower the ol' man without hurtin' him, an' ol' Cast Steel +was built like a grizzly. I didn't enjoy that walk as much as some +I've took. When we got close to the figger lyin' in the trail we all +walked a little crouchy. It looked quite a little like Dick; but +when we saw it wasn't nothin' but that fool Hawthorn with a busted +leg, we three looked like the reception committee of the Foolish +Society. + +I hustled back an' got Hanson an' a couple o' the boys and an ol' +door, an' we fetched him home an' put him to bed an' sent for the +doctor--an' that was the worst luck that ever happened to ol' Dick. +You know how a woman is with anything hurt or sick; they're the same +the world over. A right strickly wise married man would have +everything broke except his pocket-book, an' then he'd be sure o' +lots of pettin'. They allus want to spoil a feller when he's on the +flat of his back. When he's walkin' around on his own feet all he +needs to do is to express a desire, an' they vetoe it on general +principles, an' after they've talked themselves dry they send out +an' get the preacher to finish the job; but when that same vile +speciment of masculine humanity gets some of his runnin' gear +damaged, why they bed him on rose leaves, feed him on honey, an', +good or bad, they give him whatever he wants. This particular feller +wanted Barbie, an' Barbie was mighty gentle with him. + +Sometimes it seems to me that the only men who can understand a +woman are the men who work a lot with the dumb creatures. Take an +animal now, wild or tame, an' it hates to confess a weakness; it'll +just go on head up an' eyes flashin' till it drops in its tracks--so +will a woman. Take the fiercest female animal the' is, an' it's all +mother on the inside. Why, they're everlastin'ly adoptin' somethin' +'at don't rightly belong to 'em. Sometimes they go to work an' adopt +a little straggler that in a regular way is their daily food; an' it +ain't no step-mother affair neither, it 's the real thing. + +The wild animals are the best to study, 'cause the tame ones have +been some spoiled by associatin' with man. Well, the wild animals +spend all their spare time dressin' up an' cleanin' their clothes, +an' when it ain't absolutely necessary they hate to get a toe wet; +but when it comes to love or duty, why fire, water, nor the fear o' +man ain't goin' to stop 'em; so again I sez 'at the man what can +savvy the wild animals can get purty nigh within hailin' distance of +woman, an' that's gettin' close; but you want to remember this, no +animal never tells the truth to an outsider. The principle part o' +their life is spent in throwin' folks off their trail, an' they +allus make their lairs in the most secret places. If a feller ever +gets to know 'em even a little he has to be mighty patient an' +mighty careful, an' above all things, he mustn't never get the idee +that he knows every last thing about 'em the' is to know, 'cause no +man never knows that. Some men try to estimate a woman by their own +earthy way o' doin' things. 'T would be just as reasonable for a man +who was purty wise to the ways of a pug-dog to get inflated with the +idee that he had a natural talent for hivin' grizzly bears. + +But to get back to my tale: this Englishman had fallen on his feet +all right, even if the connection to one of 'em was busted up a bit. +I was around 'em a good bit, bein' forced to consult with Barbie +about things, an' I was able to piece out the method he was usin'. +He wasn't such a fool as he looked, by consid'able many rods. He +talked a heap about the sacrifice he had made for the girl back in +England, an' how much he had loved her an' how much Barbie had +comforted him, although even yet he could not forget her. Once +Barbie asked him what her name was. For a moment he didn't answer, +an' then he sez in a low voice, Alice LeMoyne. I lifted my face +quick an' gave him a look, but he wasn't noticin' me. I didn't say +anything; but I couldn't help wonderin' if this Alice LeMoyne had +anything to do with the dancer what had married into the Clarenden +family, an' then died. It was an odd name, but still I didn't reckon +the' was a patent on it. + +Finally I could tell by their talk that Barbie had told him about +Dick, an' then I knew the jig was about up. He allus spoke o' Dick +in a gentle, soothin' way, makin' every excuse for him; an' this +made her think him a noble-minded feller! an' the most natural +outcome was for 'm to just bunch their woes an' cling together for +comfort. She allus used to sit by his side in the twilight, singin' +sorrowful love songs to him, an' once I caught him holdin' her hand. +You see she was just naturally hungry for somethin' to pet an' care +for; luck offered a spavined Englishman, an' she was tryin' to make +the best of it. + +Jabez savvied this to the queen's taste, an' he got gentle an' +lovin' to Barbie, an' did all he could to square himself; so that +poor old Dick wasn't much more'n a memory, which is one o' the +complications absence is apt to cause after it gets tired o' makin' +the heart grow fonder. + +But hang it, I didn't like this Englishman more than the law +required. The' didn't seem to be much harm to him; but he had washy +eyes, an' he was too blame oily an' gentle. I never heard him swear +all through it, an' it ain't natural for a real man to stand on his +back for eight weeks without havin' a little molten lava slop over +into his conversation. It was all I could do to keep from stickin' a +pin into him. + +"Barbie," I sez one day, as innocent as an Injun, "I over-heard our +honored guest tell you that a girl by the name of Alice LeMoyne put +a crack in his heart over the water." + +"Yes," sez she, with a sigh. + +"It don't seem to be a popular name," sez I. "I've met lots o' women +who wasn't called Alice LeMoyne." + +"It is probably French," sez she. + +"It does sound like a circus, that's a fact," sez I. "Well, you +break it to him gently that Alice LeMoyne is dead. Don't ask me any +questions, but do be careful not to shock him, he seems purty high +strung." + +You might as well use sarcasm on a steer as on a woman; Barbie went +up to Hawthorn with her eyes full o' pity, while I waited below an' +made up pictures o' the crockadile tears he'd pump up for her. All +of a sudden she gave a shriek. I hit the stairs, goin' forty miles +an hour, an' there was Barbie with her hands clasped, lookin' down +at the Englishman. + +Well, he was enough to make a snake shriek. He was layin' there with +his head jerked back, his eyes wide open an' pointin' inwards, an' +lookin' altogether like the ancient corpse of a strangled cat. His +hands was doubled up tight, an' the' was a little froth on his lips. +I'd never seen nothing like that before, so I threw some water in +his face. That's about all the rule I know for any one who is +missin' cogs, an' I poured enough water on him to please a duck. He +didn't respond for some several minutes, an' when he did come out of +it he looked loose all over. I helped Barbie get some dry stuff +under him, an' then I went down, wonderin' what kind o' dynamite for +him they'd been in that name I'd sent up. + +I tried to convince Barbie that his wires were all mixed up an' he +wasn't healthy; but she argued that it showed a loyal nature to be +so affected by mention of his old sweet-heart, an' tried to pump me +for where I had picked up the name. It looked too much like a chance +shot to me; as this guy had only been among us a few years, an' I +gathered from Bill Hammersly that the Alice LeMoyne I was springin' +had journeyed on, some several years earlier. + +But the Englishman continued to repose on his bed o' down, Barbie +read to him, cooked little tid-bits for him, an' he opened up his +nature an' gave a new shine to his eyes; while Jabez--well, Jabez +was buoyant as a balloon, an' sent here an' there for nick-hacks an' +jim-cracks an' such like luxuries. He got to callin' Hawthorn +"Clarence" an' "my boy," an' kindry epithets, till even a casual +stranger would 'a' knowed the' was a roarin' in the ol' man's head +like a chime o' weddin' bells. + +Hawthorn was able to crutch around a bit by the first o' May; it was +an early season, an' the' was a great harvest o' calves at the +round-up. I was in work up to my eyes, an' sort o' lost track of the +doin's except when Barbie would have the buckboard hooked up an' +come out to the brandin' ground. The weather was glorious, an' you +couldn't have blamed an Injun idol for fallin' in love, so I lost +heart an' was two-thirds mad nine-tenths o' the time. + +Jabez had had a hard siege of it an' it showed. His face was lined, +his hair was white at the temples, an' the' was a wistful look in +his eyes which was mighty touchy. Barbie was more chummy with him +too, an' they was edgin' back to ol' times; but I was darn glad to +see Hawthorn finally admit that he was sufficiently recovered to +drive over an' see what had become of his own lay-out. + +The very first meal that we et alone, however, showed that the old +sore wasn't plumb healed over yet. Jabez couldn't wait any longer, +so he called for a show-down as soon as our food began to catch up +with our appetite. "Has Clarence popped the question yet, honey?" +sez he. + +"About twice a day on the average," sez Barbie, chillin' up a +trifle; "but I don't think he stands much chance. I like him an' he +is kind an' good; but I don't reckon I could ever marry him." + +The ol' man didn't flare up, same as he would have once. He just sat +still, lookin' at his plate, an' that was the hardest blow he had +ever struck her. She asked me twice that afternoon if I thought he +was failin'. + +Next day at dinner Jabez finished his rations, an' then leaned back +an' looked lovin'ly at Barbie for a minute. "Little girl," he sez, +"I know 'at you don't like to hurt me intentional; but you have give +me a mighty sight of heartaches in my time. I have allus aimed to do +what seemed best for you, an' it has generally been a hard job. I +haven't complained much; but I'm gettin' old, child, I'm gettin' +old. It's not for myself, Barbie, it's all for you, for you an' for- +-for the mother you never knew; but who made me promise to watch +over an' protect ya. I can't speak of her, Barbie; but when I meet +her out yonder I want to be able to tell her that as far as I was +able I've done my part. + +"This Dick has been gone a year, an' never a word to ya to let you +know even whether he's alive or not. This ain't love, honey; he was +only after my money. Now Clarence is honest an' open; why can't you +take up with him, so 'at if I'd be called sudden I could go in +peace. It would mean a lot to me to see you in good hands, honey. +I'm afraid 'at Dick'll wait until I'm gone, an' then come snoopin' +around, like a coyote sneakin' into camp when the hunters are away. +Don't answer me now, child; just think it over careful. I've +generally let you have your own way, but I do wish you'd give in to +me this time." + +Was Jabez failin'--was he? Well, not so you could notice it! Course +he wasn't quite so physically able as once; but I never saw him put +up a toppier mental exhibition than he did right then. Barbie didn't +have a word to say that afternoon until about five o'clock. Then she +suddenly looked up from some reports we was goin' over, an' sez, +"Happy, if you had gone away from me like Dick did, what would be +the only thing what would have kept you from comin' back to me?" + +"By God, nothin' but death!" sez I, without stoppin' to think. + +The color rushed to her cheeks as if I had slapped her; an' then it +oozed away, leavin' her white as chalk, while I bit my lip an' +pinched myself somethin' hearty. I had wanted to compliment her I +suppose, if I'd had any motive at all; but what I had done, when you +come to look it square in the teeth, was to ask her to cut an ace +out of a deck with nothin' left higher than a six spot. I ain't what +you would call inventionative; but I could 'a' done a blame sight +better'n that if I'd taken the time to think, instead o' simply +blurtin' out the truth like some fool amateur. + +"Well," sez she, finally, "Dick was twice the man you are, so he +must be--dead." + +We didn't say anything for some time. Vanity ain't like a mill-store +about my neck; but at the same time, whenever any one plugs me in +the face with an aged cabbage, I allus like to make a some little +acknowledgment. Of course I knew that she was handin' me one for my +fool break; but she did it in cold blood, an' if it hadn't been for +her bein' so stewed up in trouble, I'd have made her furnish some +specifications to back up that remark. Twice is a good many, but I +let it go. + +She sat lost in study for a while, an' then said, mostly to herself, +"I reckon I might as well take him"--my heart popped up in my mouth +till I liked to have gagged, but she went on--"he's honest an' kind, +an' he's been true a long time to his first love. I hope he'll stay +true to her after we're married; I know I'll stay true to mine"-- +then I knew she meant that fool Englishman. "Anyway, father has been +good to me," she continued, "an' I don't set enough store by my own +life to risk spoilin' his." + +"I suppose that mis-shapen stray from the other side is twice the +man I am, too," sez I. She put her hand on mine an' sez in a tired +voice, "Ah, Happy, you've been my staff so far through the valley, +don't you slip out from under me too"; so I swallered hard a couple +o' times an' let it go. + +She sat still a long while, lookin' out the window an' up to the of +gray mountains; and as I watched her with her lips tremblin, an' her +eyes misty, with courage winnin' a battle over pain, I saw the woman +lines of her face steal forth an' bury the last traces o' girlhood. +After a time she sez softly, "Poor ol' Dick, I wonder how it +happened"; but never one tear got by her eyelids--never one single +tear. + +From that on it was plain sailin'. Barbie didn't put up any more +fight to either of 'em. She told 'em open an' fair that she would +never in the world have consented if she had thought that Dick was +still alive; but if they was willin' to take what part of her heart +was left why they was welcome to it. Jabez was pleased at any kind +of a compromise 'at would give him his own way, an' Clarence, poor +dear, wasn't a proud lot. The flesh-pots of Egypt was about all the +arguments needed to win his vote, confound him. I used to give him +some sneerin' glances what would 'a' put fight into the heart of a +ring-dove; but he was resigned an' submissive; so 'at I had to +swaller my tongue when I saw him comin', for fear I might tell him +my opinion of him an' then stamp his life out for not bein' +insulted. + +The first of November was selected for the weddin' day; an' Jabez +told 'em 'at his present would be a trip to Europe an' a half +interest in the ranch. Clarence sort o' perked up his face when +Jabez told him about it; an' I thought he was goin' to suggest that +they cut out the trip to Europe an' take the whole o' the ranch. I +had the makin's of a good many cyclones in my system those days. + + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX + +A MODERN KNIGHT-ERRANT + + +I was lonesome once. I don't mean simply willin' to sit in a game, +or to join a friendly little booze competition, or feelin' a sort of +inward desire to mingle about with some o' the old boys an' see who +could remember the biggest tales--I mean LONESOME,--the real rib- +strainin' article when a man sits in a limpy little heap with his +tongue hangin' out, a-wishin' that a flea-bit coyote would saunter +along, slap him on the back, an' call him friens. + +I was out in No-man's land with just a small bunch o' mangy cows, +an' the grass so scarce I purt' nigh had to get 'em shod--they had +to travel so far in makin' a meal. It was hot an' it was dusty an' +it was dry--the whole earth seemed to reek. My victuals got moldy +an' soft an' sticky, my appetite laid down an' refused to go another +peg; 'I was just simply dyin' o' thirst, an' every single drop o' +water we came across had a breath like the dyin' gasp of a coal-oil +stove, expirin' for a couple o' fingers o' the stuff they float +universities in. + +Now I'd allus supposed that the' wasn't anything left to tell me +about bein' lonesome; but when it was finally settled that Barbie +was to waste herself on that imported imitation of a hand-made +mechanical toy, I found out that heretofore I'd been only dealin' in +childish delusions. The whole Diamond Dot seemed to rest right on +top o' my soul: the air didn't smell sweet, I got so I'd lie awake +at night, food grew so fearless it could look me right in the face +without flinchin'; but one night I saw Merry England with his arm +around Barbie's waist, an' that settled it. By the time I had +regained my self-control, I was twenty miles from the ranch, an' I +knew that if I went back it would be to make arrangements for the +last sad obsequaries of Clarence the Comforter. + +I had about three hundred bucks in my belt, so I wended my way to +Danders an' sneaked aboard the East-bound without attractin' the +notice of ol' Mrs. Fate or any o' the rest o' the Danders bunch. I +got out at Laramie, an' they all knew Dick an' was proud of him an' +eager to learn what had become of him. One thing else I found out, +an' that was that he had been keepin' a woman all right, an' that +she was livin' there yet; but never went out without a heavy veil, +an' the' wasn't any way short o' physical force to get to speak to +her. + +I figured out that Dick wouldn't care to go back to Texas, so the +chances were that he was either in San Francisco or England. I +didn't know anything about England, so I went to Frisco. I prowled +around for a couple o' days exactly like a story-detective; an' by +jinks, I turned up a clew. That feller, Piker, was the clew, an' +when I spied him in a low gamblin' room I made some little stir +until I got him alone so I could talk to him. I hadn't hurt him +none; but I had been tol'able firm, an' he was minded to speak the +truth. He told me that Dick was in the Texas Penitentiary for life-- +that he had surrendered himself up, an' that this was what had give +him life instead of the rope. + +I knew the gang what had put him there, an' I knew that his chances +for gettin' out were about as good as if he was in his grave. I was +stumped an' I knew it; so I sez to Piker: "Piker, you may think that +I'm allus as gentle as I've been with you; but if this ain't the +truth you've told me I'll get your life if I have to track you bare- +footed through hell." + +He swore by everything he could remember that it was the solemn +truth, an' then I turned him loose an' I turned myself loose too. +The boys down at Frisco was certainly glad to see me, an' we sure +had a royal good time as long as my money lasted; but when it began +to dry up they seemed to lose interest in me an' had a heap o' +private business to attend to. + +One mornin' I noticed that I was dead broke; so I drilled down to +the dock an' sat on a post. Pretty soon along comes a little fat +man, an' he looks me over from nose to toe. I don't know why it is, +but as a rule a city man takes as open-hearted an' disembarrassed an +interest in me as though I was a prize punkin' or the father of a +new breed o' beef cattle. After he had made up his opinion he smiles +into my eyes an' sez, "I like your face." + +"You soothe me," sez I. "I was just thinkin' o' havin' it +remodelled; but now I'll leave it just as it is." + +Well, he laughs an' slaps me on the back an' sez, "I like your +style. Want to take a ride?" + +"What on?" sez I, for he seemed purty blocky an' fat-legged for a +ridin' man. + +"On that there sailboat," sez he, pointin' to a thing about the size +of a flat-iron with a knittin'-needle stickin' out of it. I give a +little think, an' I sez: "To tell you the gospel truth, Bud, I ain't +never been on a sailboat in my life; but I'm game to play her one +whirl if you'll just wait until I get my breakfast." + +"How long will it take?" sez he. "Deuced if I know," sez I. "I've +been waitin' hereabout two hours already an' the' ain't none showed +up yet." + +"Why don't you go to a restaurant?" sez he. + +"I thank you kindly for the suggestion," sez I; "but the same +brilliant idee occurred to me a little over two hours ago, an' all +my finger-nails is wore to the quick tryin' to scratch up enough +change." + +He studied my face a moment, then he chuckled up a laugh, an' +scooted over to an eatin'-house, comin' back with a lot o' stuff an' +some coffee. Then we got into the boat an' begun to sail. Oh, it +certainly was grand! By the time I had made it up with my stomach we +were out on the Pacific Ocean, an' I felt like Christopher Columbus. + +Enjoy myself? Well. I guess I did! I felt like a boy with copper- +toed boots an' a toy balloon. Then things began to churn up wild an' +furious. Fatty said that Pacific meant mild an' peaceful--the +darned, sarcastic, little liar! The storm that was presently +kazooin' along was fierce an' horrible, an' that dinky little soap- +bubble cut up scand'lous. + +We went jumpin' an' slidin' ahead, tilted away over on one side, but +Fatty never turned a hair; he said it was nothin' but a capful o' +wind, an' he sat in the back end o' the boat with a little stick in +his hand, hummin' tunes an' havin' the time of his life; but give me +a bunch of blizzard-scared long-horns for mine. + +I never knowed a boat was so human. This one bucked an' kicked an' +reared up an' tried to fall over on its back, the same as a mustang; +while I held on with my teeth an' wondered if it was a put-up job. +Then I began to feel as though I had partakin' of a balloon. I +gritted my teeth an' swallered hot water constant; but it wasn't no +use; purty soon that beautiful breakfast began to fight its way to +liberty. Layer after layer, up it came; an' all the while mebbe I +wasn't feelin' like a tender-foot, with that fat little cuss puffin' +his pipe in the back seat, as happy as a toad. + +After a bit he looks at me purty sympathetic like, an' sez, "You +seem to have a weak stomach." + +"Weak?" I yells. "Weak! why you doggone son of a pirate, it kicks +like a shotgun every time it goes off. Weak!" + +We stayed out on our pleasure trip the best part of the day, me +layin' with what used to be my head jammed under the front seat, +while my liver chased my stomach up an' down my backbone, tryin' to +squeeze out a few more crumbs o' that breakfast. You can believe me +or not; but when noon came that double dyed villain got out the grub +an' began to eat--even goin' so far as to ask me to join him. A hog +wouldn't 'a' done it. We came back; about five o'clock, an' by the +time we reached the landin' place I was feelin' fine. An' hungry-- +Say! + +When we got upon the platform an' started to walk up-town Fatty sez +to me, "What are you goin' to do to kill time now?" + +"Time?" sez I. "Well, now, I dunno as I feel any inborn hankerin' to +slaughter time; but if the game laws ain't in force I wouldn't mind +flushin' up a covey of fat young ham sandwidges." + +"You're a funny cuss," sez he. + +"I am," sez I; "an' I hope I won't come sudden in front of a +lookin'-glass. A good hearty laugh just now would be purty apt to +puncture my stomach--it's jammed up so tight again my backbone." + +"You don't seem to like this community," sez he. + +"I don't know," sez I. "It's been a mighty long time since I tasted +it; but I have an idy that I'd enjoy some served hot with a couple +o' porterhouse steaks smothered in cornbeef hash an' about three +pints o' coffee." + +He chuckled up another laugh, an sez, "If you had a good job here +would you be apt to settle?" + +"Settle?" sez I. "You needn't worry much about that; I'm no tight- +wad. When it comes my turn to settle I generally fish up a handful +an' say, 'Here, take it out o' that an' keep the change.'" + +He looked at me a minute without speakin', an' then he said, as +though he was thinkin' aloud, "You seem to be mighty well set up." + +I was hurt at this. "Your ticket entitles you to one more guess," +sez I. "Any time anybody got set up in my company since I struck +town the bartender allus managed to sneak me the checks without +gettin' caught at it. The' must 'a' been a cold snap here, an' all +the easy spenders got froze up." + +"No, I mean you're wonderful well built," sez he. "Kin you ride a +hoss?" + +"I can," sez I, "if he's kind an' gentle, an' I manage to get a good +grip on the saddle horn, an' he don't start to lopin' or somethin' +like that." + +"Do you know what a knight is?" sez he. + +"Yes," sez I, "I do when I'm home; but since I've been here I ain't +wasted none of 'em in sleep, so I ain't right certain." + +"No, I don't mean that kind," sez he. "I mean the soldiers of long +ago who used to wear steel armor an' fight with spears an' rescue +maidens an' so forth. I believe I can get you a job at it for a +month or so, at three dollars a day." + +"Now look here, Bud," sez I, "them three dollars look mighty +enticin' to me, an' I ain't no objection to rescuin' the maidens; +but I move we cut out the steel armor an' the spears. If the' 's any +great amount o' maidens in need o' rescuin', I could do the job a +heap quicker with my six-shooters." + +"Oh, I don't mean to be a real knight," sez he. "I want you to +advertise tobacco." + +"Say," sez I, "perhaps you never noticed it; but after you've been +livin' on air for some time you get so you can't tell whether it's +yourself or the other feller what's crazy. I came down to this town +because my appetite was clogged up an' wouldn't work; but I'm cured. +I'm the most infernally cured individual you ever set eyes on, an' +I'm goin' back where food ain't too blame proud to be seen in +company with a poor man." + +Well, I broke through his crust that time, an' we sidled into a +feed-joint, where I pried my ribs apart while he un folded his plot. +It seemed the' was a brand of chewin' tobacco what had one o' these +here knights on the tag, an' I was to dress up like the picture an' +advertise it. The man who was to do it had sprained his ankle, an' +Fatty's brother was huntin' up a new man. Fatty said he'd get me the +job. + +Well, he did, an' next mornin' I started out in a tin suit with a +sort of kettle turned upside down an' covered with feathers for a +sky-piece. I certainly made an imposin' sight, an' all I had to do +was to ride around an' fling little plugs o' tobacco out o' my +saddle-bags. But the' was draw-backs. The' generally is. + +Take the real native-son brand of Friscoite, an' he'll tell you 'at +Frisco an' Paradise are sunonomous. I used to like to argue 'em out +about it. One day I had a thirty-third degree one pointin' his +finger in my eye an' beatin' his palm with his fist, an' spreadin' +himself somethin' gorgeous. He never curbed his jubilization nor +altered the heavy seriousness of his expression; but in the most +matter-of-fact way in the world he backs over to the door-jamb an' +begins to polish it up with his spinal column. If ya'll notice +you'll find most o' the coats in that locality has curious little +streaks up the back--but it ain't polite to ask questions about 'em. + +"Look here, Bud," sez I, interruptin', "I know all about your golden +gates an' sea lions an' cosmopopilic civilization; but how about +your fleas?" + +"Fleas!" sez he. "Hang the fleas! I'll tell you about them. The +devil He tried an experiment; he wanted a place so fine to live in +that man wouldn't have no inducement to try to get to heaven; so he +studied all the cities an' the towns--an' then he made Frisco. The +experiment worked to perfection; everybody what lived there was +perfectly satisfied, an' the preachers couldn't make 'em believe 'at +any place could be any better. But the good Lord, he was powerful +fond o' the Friscoites, so he finally figgered out the little red +flea--an' then even Frisco had a drawback; not enough to give the +town anything of a black eye; just enough to leave one little +talkin'-point in favor of everlastin' bliss." + +Well, these here fleas was consid'able of a talkin'-point with me +all right when I was takin' the part of a canned knight. They used +to congregate together in the valley between my shoulder-blades, an' +I'd get off an' back up again a lamp-post, but it wa'n't no use. I +couldn't reach 'em, an' the' ain't no way on earth to scare 'em. +Finally I hit upon a plan of wearin' a couple o' feet o' chain down +the back o' my neck an' givin' it a jerk now an' again. It was only +just moderately comfortable; but I had the satisfaction of knowin' +that it was more of a bother to them than it was to me. A suit of +armor ain't no tenement house, it's only meant for one. But when +they got on my face they had me beat. I'd forget all about bein' +sealed up, an' I'd take a smash at one an' bat the kettle over again +my forehead until I had both eyebrows knocked out o' line. + +I carried a spear with a little flag on it, an' rode a hoss built +like a barrel. He had been in the brewery business all his life an' +looked the part. About the only item in the whole parade that put me +in mind of myself was my lariat. I smuggled that along for company, +an' so I'd have somethin' to work with, provided anything turned up. + +Fatty had give me a book called "Ivanhoe" the night before I started +out, an' it was full o' pictures about knights knockin' each other +about with spears; an' I bet a hat it was fun to be a real one an' +not have no tobacco to advertise, but just nothin' to do except jab +each other with spears. I reckon a corkin' good one like Ivanhoe +himself or the Black Knight got more 'an three a day for it too; but +the one best bet is, that the vigilance committee those days didn't +take on much superfluous fat. + +I enjoyed myself first rate, an' upset a couple o' delivery wagons +because they wouldn't make way for me, roped a runaway steer 'at had +the whole town scared, an' chased a flat-head clear into the Palace +Hotel for throwin' a pear at me. Fatty's brother confided to him +that I was the best advertisement they'd ever had. + +Still I allus get weary o' doin' the same sort o' thing day after +day. That's what gets me about livin' in town; it's so blame +monotonous. Out on the range now a feller can allus be expectin' a +little excitement even if he ain't enjoyin' it right at the time; +but in town it's just the same thing over an' over again. It's bad +enough at any time; but if you want to soak yourself plumb full o' +the horrors of a great city you want to wear a tin suit with an iron +kettle strapped on your head that you can't take off without help. I +got so blame disgusted drinkin' steam beer through a straw that if +any one would 'a' dared me I'd 'a' signed the pledge. + +If it hadn't been for the children I'd probably got hysterical an' +been voted into the uncurable ward; but they thought I was the +finest thing out, an' I used to give 'em little plugs o' tobacco for +souvynears. I used to read "Ivanhoe" at night an' tell stories to +the kids the next day. Some o' them thought I was a fairy godmother; +an' I generally had such a gang troopin' after me that we looked +like an orphan asylum out for an airin'. I allus did like children. + +Well, one day I was out at the foot o' the hill neighbor-hood on +Sutter Street. A lot o' cars was blockaded, an' a herd o' kids stood +lookin' on. I stopped an' talked to 'em, an' the' was one little +girl, just for all the world like another little girl I used to +know, away back yonder in Indiana. She had the same confidin' smile +an' the same big, wide open eyes; an' I felt a sort o' lump in my +throat when she looked at me. She had that same queer little look +that Barbie'd had when she was a child too. Her mother was named +Maggie, which also happened to be the name o' the little girl I had +known clear away back when I'd been a school-boy. All of a sudden I +felt lonesome again; so I give the kids the slip an' skirted the +car. + +I started to ride up the Hyde Street hill on the other side, an' +say, it was a hill! Steep? Well, it was about all Mr. Hoss could do +to climb it. While I was wonderin' if I hadn't better let that part +o' town go unadvertised I heard a rumble, looked up, an' saw comin' +over the square o' the next street a big wagon loaded with lumber +an' runnin' towards me down the hill. The' wasn't no hosses hitched +to it, an' the tongue stuck straight out in front. It was comin' +like a steam-engine, an' like a flash I remembered Maggie on the +other side o' the car. That wagon would 'a' weighed six tons, an' +any fool could see what would happen when it struck that street car. + +For a second--for just one second, which seemed to last a thousand +years--I was turned to stone. I could hear the crash; I could hear +the screams; I could feel the horrid scrunch as car, wagon, an' all +ground over poor little Maggie; and then everything cleared up, an' +I could think ninety times a minute. + +I turned my rope loose an' backed ol' Mr. Barrel up on the sidewalk +in the wink of a hair trigger. I looked down at the hoss, an' he +would have weighed a full ton himself; but I knew that he wouldn't +have sense enough to brace himself when the jerk came. It was +comical the way thoughts kept flashin' through my head--everything I +had done, an' everything I might have done, an' a heap more beside; +but the thing that worried me most was the thought that a mighty +good story was about to happen, an' the chances were that I wouldn't +be the one to do the tellin' of it afterward. I can talk about it +easy now,: but I wasn't BREATHIN' then. + +On came the wagon, an' it looked as though nothin' under heaven +could stop it. A strange feelin' o' weakness swept over me for a +minute, and--and--darned if I didn't pray, right then. The pressure +lifted like a fog, an' I sat there as cool an' still as though I was +Ivanhoe, darin' the whole blame outfit to come at me in a bunch; an' +I was some pleased to notice that a little group had gathered to see +the outcome. My knees dug into the hoss's ribs as I circled the rope +around my head, an' then at just the right instant I gave the +foreleg throw. Well, it landed--everything landed. As soon as the +noose caught the tip o' the tongue I yanked back on the brewer until +he must 'a' thought his lower jaw had dissolved partnership. + +The' never was any neater work--never. The noose tightened well out +on the tongue, an' when the strain came the wagon turned in toward +the sidewalk, runnin' in a big circle on the outside wheels. The +jerk had lifted ol' Uncle Brewer, who didn't have gumption enough to +squat, plumb out in the middle o' the street, an' just as the wagon +climbed the curb an' dove into the basement office of a Jew doctor +the rope tightened up with me an' the brewer square behind. It +didn't last long; the' was only one cinch to the saddle, an' the +first jerk had purty well discouraged that; the brewer had grew +suspicious an' all four of his feet was dug into the cobble stones; +the wagon was lopin' along about ninety miles a second, an' when the +tug came me an' the saddle an' the tinware an' about four thousand +plugs o' tobacco made a half-circle in the air an' plunged through +the first story winder onto the dinin'-table--an' the family was at +dinner. + +Nobody was hurt; but I wish you could have seen the eyes o' that +family--an' their hands--yes, an' their tonsils too. They didn't +seem fully prepared. After a time the doctor got his heart to +pumpin' again, an' he roars out, "Vat are you doin'--vat are you +doin'?" + +"I'm advertisin' tobacco," sez I, tryin' to cut the kettle off my +head with a fruit-knife. + +Then he did the wind-mill act with his hands an' rolled up his eyes +an' sez, "Vell, mine Cott, man, dis iss no vay to atfertice +dobaggo!" + +"Mebbe not, ol' sport," sez I, thinkin' o' the way that wagon had +dove into his office, an' takin' a general survey o' the dinner +table; "but if you're game at all you got to own up it makes a +strong impression." + +He was a comical little cuss, an' it amused me a heap to see how +excited he was. He splutered an' fizzed away like a leaky sody +fountain, while the rest o' the tribe kept up a most infernal +squawkin'. + +By the time I had the tobacco an' the balance o' the trimmin's +picked up an' got back to the street again I found the rest o' the +population gathered together to see who was holdin' the celebration; +an' from that on my stay in the city was a nightmare. The passengers +in the car gave me gold watches an' champagne suppers, the Jew +doctor wore himself to a bone tryin' to find out whether it was me, +the lumber company, or the tobacco firm which had to pay the piper; +while the newspaper reporters pumped me as dry as the desert. The +tobacco company kept me on double pay, because when it came to what +they call a publicity agent I had played every winnin' number open +an' coppered all the ones that lost. + +That car had been loaded with a group o' the real, genuine gold- +sweaters, an' they entered into a fierce competition to see which +could load me down with the finest watch an' load me up with the +finest champagne. They got me to make 'em after-dinner speeches an' +do fancy stunts with my raw-hide--ropin' wine bottles off the +waiters' trays an' such--until we got as friendly as a herd of +tramps. They even got me into a long-tailed coat an' a bullfrog +vest; but I didn't take kindly to that, 'count o' there not bein' +any handy place to tote a gun except the tail pocket, which I never +could have got at in case the trouble was to slop over. + +I kept lookin' for little Maggie, an' one day I found her. I bought +her a couple o' pounds o' candy an' a lot o' new dresses; an' I took +her out to her home in a carriage. Well, this home o' hers was a +thing to wring the heart of an ossi-fied toad. It was up near the +Barbery coast, where they kill folks for exercise. She an' her +mother was livin' in two miserable rooms, her mother doin' washin' +an' Maggie runnin' errands; but they was as near respectable as +half-fed people ever was in the world, an' it made 'em hustle to +even keep half fed, too, 'cause they was in competition with the +Chinks, who don't have to eat at all--that is, not regular food. + +An' would you believe it, her mother was the little Maggie I used to +know away back yonder in the kid days when all the world was just +like a big, bulgey Christmas-stocking. She had married a good man, +an' had come out to the coast with him on account of his health, an' +he had flickered out without leavin' her much but a stack o' +doctor's bills an' little Maggie. She had struggled along ever +since, an' it made my heart ache like a tooth to see the sweetness +an' the beauty o' the little girl I used to know come to the eyes o' +this poor tired woman an' smile--smile the same old smile like what +she used to when I'd given her an apple, or when she'd written me a +little note an' sneaked it across the aisle. + +Well, I didn't stay long. I had a special swell function to attend +that night, but next mornin', when the Turkish-bath man was willin' +to risk the peace o' that locality by turnin' me loose, I gathered +up a peck or so o' watches an' cashed 'em in. I reckon I got beat +some; but anyhow, I drew down somethin' over sixteen hundred in +yeller money; an' I took them two Maggies down to the train an' +shipped 'em back where the little one would have a chance to grow up +like a flower, with plenty o' green grass an' sunshine about her, +an' the mother could put on a clean dress afternoons an' visit +'round a little with the friends o' long ago. + +After they was gone everything seemed mighty gloomy an' damp an' +lonesome, an' I entered into the social festivities most +enthusiastic. The' was somethin' about both these two Maggies that +kept bringin' Barbie before me, an' what I felt most like doin' was +to bolster up my forgetfulness. It wasn't very long, however, before +I noticed that my quiet an' simple life hadn't in nowise fitted me +for refined society, an' I made my plans to bid it a fond farewell. +I'm just as cordial a friend as whiskey ever had; but my con science +rebels at floodin' my vital organs with seventeen different colored +wines at one meal. I've been infested with pink elephants an' green +dragons an' I never com plained none; but hang me if I can get any +comfort out of a striped yellow spider ten feet high on horrid hairy +legs. + +I was sittin' in the Palace lobby one mornin' wonderin' if I'd bump +my head should I happen to sneeze, when in come one o' my pals. His +face lit up when he see me an' he came over holdin' out his hand. I +held out my own hearty enough; but I sez in a warnin' voice, "Now, +before you ask me the customary question I want to inform you that I +positively don't want a drink, neither now nor this evenin', nor +never again." "Pshaw," sez he, "I'm goin' to pull out for home to +day, an' I don't want to go without a farewell libation to the good +times we've been havin'." + +"I'm goin' to pull out, myself," sez I, "but I went on my farewell +libation last night. Where might your home be?" + +"Texas," sez he. I straightened up. + +"Know the governor?" sez I. + +"Some," sez he, his eyes twinklin'; "he was my sister's youngest +brother." + +"Your sister's youngest brother?" sez I, an' then I tumbled. "Say," +I yelled, jumpin' to my feet, "you don't mean that you're it +yourself?" + +"That's the history," sez he; "but if it's just the same to you, I'd +rather you didn't work up much of a story about the way I've handled +this town since you saved that car." + +"Do you really think 'at I saved your life?" sez I. + +"Why," sez he, "if that wagon had ever hit the car the' wouldn't 'a' +been anything left but my teeth to identify me by, an' I ain't never +had one filled yet." + +Well, I took one drink with him an' I told him the straight o' that +cattle ring an' how Jim Jimison had surrendered on account o' the +best little girl that walked, an' that he was the all around +squarest boy the' was. I didn't cork up any natural eloquence I +happened to have, an' I was some sorry 'at ol' Hammy couldn't have +heard that plea. It was dramatic, an' I'll bet money on it. The +outcome was, that he swore he'd have Jim out o' the pen as soon as +he could get back an' do the signin'. He was a big man with steel +gray eyes, an' by jing I felt good over it; but I stuck to the one +drink proposition. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN + +THE CREOLE BELLE + + +Well, now, mebbe I didn't feel fine! I'd have a real man for Barbie +to marry purty soon, an' it was a good job o' work to send that +washy-eyed Englishman back to his one-hoss ranch to learn hove to +act grown-up. I was all squared around now. Up to that mornin' I +couldn't tell where on the face I did want to head for; but now I +knew. I wanted to bee-line straight for the Diamond Dot an' light +the joy-lamps in Barbie's eyes again. When I had given my life to +her the' wasn't no strings to the gift. I hadn't said that my +happiness was to be considered at all, nor the happiness of any one +else on the whole earth except just her own, an' I was wild to be +back. + +I was makin' up my mind to sneak away without seein' any o' the glad +band--those Frisco fellers are terrors when they take a fancy to ya- +-I mean the thoroughbreds, the toppy lad with rolls 'at a ten-year- +old boy couldn't up-end without strainin' himself. I hated to do it; +but I'm only human, an' when I'm in earnest about bein' delivered +from evil I allus get up early in the dawn an' get a good start +while temptation is still enjoyin' its beauty sleep. + +I had just got my will power properly stiffened up, when lo an' +behold, I was slapped on the back an' a merry voice exclaimed, +"Happy Hawkins, by the Chinese Devil!" + +I glanced up into a bearded face with two twinklin' eyes an' an +outdoor look about it. I recognized the eyes all right, but I knew I +hadn't never seen 'em in that sort o' trimmin' before; so I sez in a +dignified manner, "I'm exceeding glad to see ya, but who the 'll are +ya?" + +"Ches!" sez he. "Ralph Chester Stuart--Great Scott, have you lost +your memory?" + +Well, by the Jinks, but I was glad to see the boy, an' we hid away +in a private room with two pure an' proper lemonades before us. He +was a genuine minin' engineer, an' had been havin' lots of queer +experiences. He wanted me to sign up with him, promisin' me that +we'd have change of bill twice a week; but I finally prevailed upon +him that I had aged considerable since our didoes with the goat, an' +all of a sudden he ups an' sez, "By the way, old hat, I've got you +news!" + +"Yes?" sez I. "Where'd you get it?" + +"Why, about the Creole Belle," sez he. + +"Creole Belle!" sez I. "Well, tell it, tell it. Why don't you tell +it?" + +"Oh, fudge," sez he; "it's been long enough on the way, an' I reckon +it'll keep a minute longer. The Creole Belle was a gold-mine named +after a woman." + +"Good or bad?" sez I. + +"Good," sez he. "Paid two hundred dollars to the ton in spots." + +"I meant the woman, confound ya," sez I. + +"Well, it seems that she was a purty square sort of a woman," sez +Ches, "but I didn't suppose 'at you'd care much about her. The mine- +-" I groaned. "Well, you fool me," sez Ches, seein' I was in +earnest. "The' was a purty florid romance mixed up in it too; but I +didn't suppose you was interested in such things, an' I didn't pay +much heed to that part of it." + +"That's allus the way when a boy does anything," sez I, with +peevishness. "Now you set there an' think up all you can about the +deal--everything." + +"Well," sez Ches, slowly, "it seems that a couple o' young +Easterners came out to find their fortune. They was the true Damon +an' Pythias brand o' partners, an' stood back to back durin' a +protracted spell o' good, stiff, copper-bottomed misfortune. They +finally located a mine that looked good-natured an' generous; but it +was a fooler. One day it coaxed 'em an' next it give 'em the laugh. +Finally they each got down in turn with mountain-fever an' a +beautiful young girl nursed 'em. She was there with her father, who +was workin' a claim near by. He was an odd sort of chap to be +minin'--though come to think of, that's not possible, seein' that +all kinds o' men--" + +"Ches," I breaks in, "will you kindly get on with that tale, or must +I shake it out o' you?" + +He seemed mightily surprised, but he went on: "Well, the girl was a +beauty, an' she had a gigantic maid--" + +"Monody!" I shouted. + +"Keeno!" shouts back Ches, some exasperated. + +"Now that wasn't slang nor sarcasm what I was usin'," sez I, +smoothin' it over. "That gigantic maid you mentioned is part o' the +tale that you don't know yet." + +"Well, naturally, while they was bein' nursed they both fell in love +with her--" + +"With Monody?" I yells. + +"No, you ijot, with the girl!" Ches was gettin' flustered. "She was +a corkin' handsome girl, an' they all called her the Creole Belle. +To be strictly honest though, they didn't really fall in love with +her. They both loved the same girl back in Philadelphia, an' they +just took to the Creole Belle as a sort of a substitute. Now the ol' +man an' the big maid watched over the girl careful, an' the' wasn't +no harm come of it; an' when the mine finally got to handin' out the +gilt without jokin' about it, the two pals got to goin' off alone +an' thinkin' o' the girl back East. They had four or five miners +workin' for 'em by this time, an' they was gettin' the dust in +quantities. Finally they got together about it. It seems that they +had an agreement that neither one would propose to the girl without +the other's consent, but they had each been makin' gentle-love in +their letters to her, while she didn't seem to know which she liked +best." + +"Where'd you learn all this?" sez I. + +"Oh, I've been askin' all the of miners I've met," sez Ches, "an' at +last I found one who knew the whole of it. All of 'em knew +something; things ain't done secret in a minin' camp, an' all the +boys got interested. Well, they finally agreed to play five hands o' +draw for the first chance to propose. If the lucky one got the girl +he was to pay the loser half the profits. If he lost an' the second +feller got the girl on his proposal, he was to get mine an' girl +both. They was still fond o' the Creole Belle an' she was fond o' +them--from all accounts they was men above the average, all right. +Well, they played the five hands an' it was even bones at the fourth +show. Then Jordan made a crooked move o' some kind, an' Whitman +called for a new deal. It was the first suspicion that had ever +raised its head between 'em, an' they looked into each other's eyes +a long time; then Jordan dealt again an' Whitman won. + +"He wrote to the girl, an' after a time she answered, sayin' yes. +Jordan an' Whitman wasn't such good pals as before; but when the +girl was due to arrive they started down in the stage to meet her, +both together. Just as they was goin' by the of man's claim--Ol' +Pizarro, or some such a name as that he had--the stage lost a front +wheel an' Whitman got a broken leg. They took him into the ol' man's +cabin, sent a man on hoss-back after the doctor, an' Whitman +insisted that Jordan ride on down to meet the girl. They'd had a +hard time gettin' the girl to consent to come at all; but she was an +orphan with only a faithful servant for a family, an' she had +finally give in, seein' as Jordan would be there as her best friend; +an' now Whitman forced Jordan to go down an' meet her." I remembered +the letter 'at little Barbie had made me read, an' I was able to +guess the rest. + +"Well, Jordan met the girl, an' the servant who had tagged along,-- +the name of the servant was Melisse, if you want all the details." + +"I knew it," sez I; "go on." + +"He brought the girl back to where the Creole Belle was tendin' to +Whitman in a mighty gentle an' tender way. The girl didn't seem to +care much for Whitman when she saw him, an' that very day they had +it out. She didn't make no fuss, she was a game one all right; just +said that it was a mistake all 'round an' left on the next stage, +goin' to Frisco. + +"Whitman was laid up six weeks, an' by the time he was out Jordan +told him that he was ready to propose to the girl on his own hook. +Whitman agreed, Jordan made his play, got a favorable answer, an' +Whitman made over a full deed to the Creole Belle. Just at this time +ol' Pizzaro cashed in, an' the first thing Whitman knew he was +married to the Creole Belle, had sold his wife's mine an' started to +leave the country. Down at the station he hears a chance word that +gives him a tip, an' he leaves his wife there an' goes back to the +mine. He accuses Jordan of havin' told the eastern girl that he was +already married to the Creole Belle when she came out to marry him +herself. Jordan denies it, but they fight, an' it's sure a bad +fight. Jordan gets three bullets in his body an' only laughs about +it; but he shoots Whitman twice, so that fever sets in, an' it was +reported that he died. Anyhow, he's taken down to the train an' put +on board, out of his head; an' was never heard of again. + +"Jordan hid his wounds purty well, bein' a man o' wonderful grit; +but just when he was gettin' around again one o' the boys what +Whitman had done a good turn to picks a quarrel with Jordan, an' +Jordan still bein' stiff from the wounds he was hidin', gets the +worst of it, is hammered up with a pick-handle an' left for dead. He +don't die, however, he works the Creole Belle mine till he's taken +out about a million, an' then she closes up an' he gets out o' the +country for keeps. That's all the' is to that tale. Now you tell me +what part of it you're interested in." + +"Was that all you heard about the gigantic maid?" sez I. + +"You certainly have a healthy appetite for gossip," sez Chez, +laughin'. "But I did hear more about the maid: she came back to that +part a few months later to square things up with her lover. He +didn't appear willin' to square, an' they found him in his cabin one +mornin' with his throat tore out by the roots, an' they found her +clothes on the bank o' Devil Crick; so that ends her story. She must +'a' been some devil herself." + +"No," sez I to chez, "the worst any one can call her is a man; an' +it wasn't altogether her fault that you can call her that, I'll +stake my soul on it." + +Ches was ravenous to learn why it was that I wanted all that old +scandal dished up; but I was too busy to tell him right then, an' he +was goin' to leave in an hour to overlook some new findin's out in +Nevada. We promised to write to each other, an' I told him that +probably I'd be willin' to take a job with him in a month or so; an' +then he skinned out to make ready, an' I got busy on my letter. +Letters never was one o' my chief delights; but I wrote to Jim, +tellin' him enough o' the details to throw a bluff into Jabez; but +not enough to put Jim wise to the tale. Just gave him the right +names an' the name o' the mine an' told him to bluff that he knew it +all; but not to speak too free; an' that would suit all around an' +put Jabez into a nervous condition. I sent this letter to the +governor, tellin' him to give it to Jim personal, an' to hustle +things for a quick finish. + +I posted my letter an' started up to the desk to pay my bill, when I +had another turn. I stood still with a shock, pinchin' myself to see +if I was in my right mind or only sufferin' from an extra foolin' +hang-over. A jaunty young chap with out-standin' clothes, an' a +brindle bull-terrier was registerin' their names, an' if I was in my +right mind I knew them folks for true. I was feelin' exuberant to a +dangerous limit, an' I sneaks up an' unsnaps the bull-terrier from +the leash what the porter was holdin'. Well, it was Cupid all right, +an' he was bugs to see me. He started jumpin' up on my shoulders an' +makin' queer sounds, an' I pertends 'at I'm scared to death an' duck +an' dodge around that office until I have all the inmates standin' +on the furniture an' yellin' police. + +Bill runs around after us tellin' me not to be frightened, an' +givin' Cupid a tongue-handlin' that would 'a' stung a deaf +alligator. When I can't hold in any longer I rolls over on a dievan- +-that's what they call a hotel sofy--an' get Cupid in my arms an' +make a sound as if he was stranglin' me. Bill gets Cupid by the +collar an' jerks him off, an' then I stands up an' sez in a hurt an' +dignified voice, "It seems darned funny to me that I can't welcome +an old friend without you interferin'." + +He give me one look--I was festooned a little out o' the ordinary-- +an' then he begins. First he'd sing a chant about how tickled he was +to meet up with me, an' then he'd sermonize most doleful about how +untasteful it was to commit such a havoc as that in a hotel lobby, +especially with a dog what had been trained to have quiet an' +refined manners. I finally refused to hold my safety valve down any +longer; an' I grabbed him under the arms an' waltzed him over the +marble, while Cupid frolicked around us an' Bill kicked me on the +shins. I had had too many things happen to me in a small space o' +time to be altogether sane, an' it took a good many kicks on the +shins to get me down to a practical basis again. Bill was plumb +disgusted; but Jessamie, who had seen the last part of it, had to +join in with the rest o' the crowd an' have a laugh. + +Bill refused to eat unless we could have a private dinin' room. Not +on Cupid's account neither; he'd got civilized enough to stand for +Cupid bein' treated like a dog by this time; but it was me he was +scared of, an' I sensed it, an' refused to feed with him at all +unless it would be in the main mess hall, an' Jessamie voted with +me; so Bill had to give in. + +He didn't want to make the contrast too strong, so he slid into a +dark suit instead of the real caper, while I wiggled into my +champagne apron an' marched in like I was a foreign delegate. Well, +you should have seen Bill--his mouth took on the triangle droop, an' +his lamps was stretched to match. I was entirely at home, et with +the right forks, joshed the waiters, an' when my friends began to +drop over an' pass the season's greetings, an' I presented 'em to +Bill an' Jessamie, an' Bill saw that they was nothin' at all but +cream, I bet you a tip that he was the worst locoed man in topsy- +turvy Frisco. + +We had a hard time throwin' the gang off the trail; but I finally +sent 'em over to the Pampered Pug restaurant, while I took Bill an' +Jessamie to a quiet little spot to hold our own reunion. They had +just come from a trip around the world--they was still on their +honeymoon, in fact; an' I had to listen to a heap o' Sunday-school +story adventures 'at they'd been havin'. + +After a while, though, I nudged Bill hack to the Clarenden family +trail, an' he said 'at they had stopped for over a month with his +friends in England, an' was posted up to the minute. + +"Well," sez I, as though I was inquirin' after an old pal, how's the +Earl?" + +"They're plumb out o' earls in that family," sez Bill. "The old +one's dead an' they've hunted high an' low for the strays an' can't +even find Richard." + +"They won't need him," sez I. "The younger son is still in good +order, an' when the proper time comes I'll spring him on 'em; but I +doubt if he takes the job after all." + +"Confound you, Happy," sez Bill, "I never can tell whether you're +jokin' or not on this subject. Deuced if I ever could see where your +trail could have junctioned onto the Clarenden family." + +"Son," sez I, "I'm a store-house o' knowledge, an' I'm about to open +the flood-gates an' pour it forth. How many Alice LeMoynes did you +ever happen to hear of?" + +"Only but the one," sez Bill. "It was a fake name probably, an' one +was all they ever struck off that die. What about her?" + +"Oh, nothin' much," sez I, "only a stray Englishman happened to pull +that name on us a while back, an' I wondered where he came into +possession of it." + +"You got somethin' up your sleeve," sez Bill, who was a mite too +observin' at times; "what is it you want to know?" + +"Nothin' at all," sez I; "I know all I want to now." + +"What kind of lonkin' feller was it?" sez Bill. + +"Purty harmless," sez I; "watery blue eyes, fair size, purty good +lookin', nice manners, book-talker, owns a little ranch; oh, he +won't set no important rivers on fire." + +Bill studied awhile. "How old was he?" sez he. + +"Why, he's about my age, in years," sez I. + +"It might be Richard--if Lord James is still alive, Richard is the +heir apparent," sez Bill. "How long have you known o' this feller?" + +"Oh, this ain't Richard," sez I. "He ain't got epolepsy nor +insanity; he's just stingy an' stupid." + +"How do you know he ain't got epolepsy?" sez Bill. + +"'Cause he don't bark like a dog nor froth at the mouth, nor he +ain't afraid o' water," sez I. + +"You're thinkin' o' hydrophobia," sez Bill. "Epolepsy is sort o' +fits." + +"Well, by gum, he did have one fit!" sez I. + +"What kind?" sez Bill. + +"Why, I worked a trick on him, an' he stiffened out an' his eyes got +set, an' he was the sickenest lookin' human I ever met up with," sez +I. + +"That's it!" sez Bill, "an' you say he knew about Alice LeMoyne?" + +"That's what give him the fit," sez I. + +"I bet it's Richard," sez Bill. "This will make a story for me, an' +you can work things for the reward. Where is he?" + +"Say, you come along with me to the Diamond Dot," sez I. "Things are +goin' to happen promiscuous up there after a bit, an' you don't want +to miss it. Never mind about the reward. I'm goin' to handle this +affair just as if the' wasn't such a thing on earth as the Clarenden +family." + +"You make me tired," sez Bill; it allus was spurs to him to cut him +out of a secret. "You try to pertend 'at you're nothin' short of a +world power; but I bet you're just flim-flammin'." + +"Nothin' 'at Happy Hawkins'd do would surprise me," sez Jessamie. +"Now that I've seen him in a dress suit, hob-nobbin' with the bun- +tong, I'm prepared for anything." She was a good feller all right. + +Well, we chatted along a while, an' they told me that they wanted to +see Frisco an' the Yosemite Valley, an' then would head for Colonel +Scott's, where it'd be handy to drop over to the Diamond Dot at any +time. + +"Well," sez I, "I'll write you some letters of introduction to a few +o' my friends here, an' mebbe after you've seen Frisco, all you'll +want will be rest--just plain, simple rest; less'n your ruggeder +built than me." + +So sure enough I wrote 'em a parcel o' letters, pickin' out about +the most persistent spenders the town could show, an' it made me +laugh when I pictured Bill tryin' to lug home the list o' stuff +they'd load him up with. I packed up for the early, train, an' then +as it wasn't worth while to waste the handful o' minutes left o' +that night, I got back into my workin' togs an' went out for one +last Turkish bath. I'm mighty partial to Turkish baths, an' I wanted +to let 'em know that I was perfectly sober at least one night o' my +visit. + +It was gray dawn when I came out o' the buildin', an' even in Frisco +that's a shivery period. In spite of me holdin' all the good cards +in the deck, an' knowin' just about how I was goin' to play 'em, I +was lonely an' down-hearted there in the dawning. All I wanted was +Barbie's happiness, an' I was goin' to give it to her full measure +an' nairy a whimper: but if it could just have been my home-comin' +instead of what I was goin' to do, that would light up her world for +her, I reckon I could have FLOWN all the way back to the Diamond +Dot. + +I turned a corner an' came face to face on Piker. He was lookin' +downcast an' harried, an' I bought him a drink. He had told me where +Jim was, an' I didn't try to forget it. I sat down an' talked to him +an tried to soften his crust an' get him to agree to make a new try- +out o' life. + +He finally got purty mellow an' told me some o' the steps down which +he had stumbled, an' how slippery the'd been when he'd tried to +climb back. I confided to him a lot o' my own mishaps, an' he got +purty near up to the mourner's bench, when all of a sudden he gets +bitter. "You're just like all the rest," sez he, "you make all kinds +of allowance for a good lookin', proud sort, like Silver Dick; but a +feller like me--you allus give the verdict again a feller like me, +an' you know it." + +"Dick ain't been no saint, I know," sez I; "but at least he was out +in the open, while I can't quite get over that knee-gun you wore." + +"Out in the open, was he?" sez Piker, with a leer. "Didn't he get to +your ranch an' try to land the daughter o' the boss--an' him a +married man all the time!" + +I reached across the table an' got him by the collar, jerked him to +me, an' flopped him face up across the table. "You lie," sez I. He +shook his head, an' I felt a cold streak hit my heart. + +I loosened up on him an' let him set up, an' he said 'at Silver Dick +was married to the woman at Laramte, an' he knew it. I tried to +bluff him out of it, but he stuck to it, finally sayin' that I had +him, an' could finish him if I wanted to; but that it was the God's +truth, an' he'd stick to it. + +As I looked into his eyes I knew beyond a doubt that he was dealin' +straight; an' as my plans toppled over an' came tumblin' about me, I +felt like walkin' down to the dock an' endin' it all. Put this +passed in a flash; it wasn't my turn yet to think of myself. There +was little Barbie with the two serpents creepin' toward her, an' my +place was at her side till the fight was fairly won. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT + +THE DAY OF THE WEDDING + + +I had struck the Diamond Dot in a tol'able wide variety o' moods; +but I never felt like I did the mornin' I came back to ditch +Barbie's weddin'. I knew 'at the chances were 'at I'd break her +heart; but I had only one course open, an' I didn't intend to waver. +I had gone on through to Laramie, an' had found 'at Silver Dick's +wife was still there, livin' her locked-in life. Then I came on back +through Danders to Webb Station where I hired a feller to drive me +to within a mile o' the ranch house. All he knew was that the +weddin' was to come off in three weeks. + +Jabez an' Barbie was both glad to see me; but I didn't make much +explanation for leavin' without notice, an' I didn't tell all about +my trip. Just told 'em about my experience as a knight an' on the +boat an' such. Barbie was purty thin an' a little under color; but +her grit was still keyed up to full tone. I had a good long talk +with her that very afternoon, tellin' her that I had found out a lot +o' stuff about the remnant she was thinkin' o' marryin', an' tried +to get her to test him out an' find out where he'd come from an' +what he was; but she seemed numb, an' told me that she would not +think it friendly if I said anything evil against the man she had to +marry. I couldn't understand her, she didn't seem like the same old +Barbie; but the more I hinted the more froze-up she got, so I +dropped it. + +Then I told her that I had found out that Dick was even worse'n this +one; an' she opened up on me an' we had a purty square-off talkin' +match. She wouldn't listen to me, an' she wouldn't pay any heed to +my suggestions; an' I was consid'able out of patience. I was afraid +if I turned her again Dick she might marry this Hawthorn thing, an' +if I turned her again him too soon she might run off with Dick on +the rebound; so I was purty much hobbled, an' made a botch of it. +Finally she turned on me. "We've been good pals, Happy," sez she, +"an' we'll be good pals again some day; but you're not playin' +square now--I can tell by your actions. I almost believe 'at what +you're tryin' to do is to--" she stopped with her face red as fire. + +"Well, say it," sez I. + +"Is to marry me yourself," she blurted out. + +I didn't say anything for a long time. I made every allowance for +her, an' I knew 'at some one had threw it in her face, 'cause this +wasn't one of her own brand o' thoughts; but I'm not all horn an' +bone, an' when I saw that she intended to go her own gait I made up +my mind that she'd know at the end of the course that she might have +saved herself several hard bumps. + +"Barbie." I sez, an' at my voice she turned her face an' looked a +little frightened, "I ain't denyin' that I'd rather marry you than +be sure of gettin' into Heaven; but I want you to remember one +thing, an' that is that if I ever do marry you it will be because +you ask me to yourself." + +We rode side by side back to the ranch house, an' her head wasn't +held an inch higher than mine nor her lips shut a grain tighter. I +was willin' to be used for a bumper; but I couldn't stand everything +even when I knew 'at she'd been hounded beyond endurance. From that +on Barbie was some cool to me; but I wasn't there for a vacation, I +had a duty to perform. Poor little Barbie, she didn't act much like +a bride elect. Jabez wanted a weddin' that would be the talk for +years; but Barbie said no, that she felt more like a widder than a +maid, an' she didn't take much stock in turnin' a second weddin' +into a circus. I didn't say nothin'. The ol' man didn't contrary her +much them days, so he dropped the subject; but he sent all the way +to Frisco for a store full o' fixin's an' a couple o' women to +engineer the construction of 'em. + +A full week passed without me hearin' from Dick, an' then I +telegraphed to the Governor. I waited at Webb Station till I got the +answer. He said 'at he had give Dick my letter an' that he had left +two days before. That kept me on edge 'cause I wanted to see him +when he first arrived; so I kept a couple o' the boys watchin' each +road; but day after day dragged around until I got desperate. For +all I knew Silver Dick had enough black blood in him to take +advantage of me an' just fly his kite. He might have got news from +England too, an' all in all I was agitated. + +Two days before the ceremony was scheduled I gave him up an' made a +run to Laramie. I wasn't sure just what I would do, but I was minded +to get all the evidence I could. I tried to get speech with Dick's +wife, but she wouldn't pay any heed to my knocks, an' finally the +lights in the house went out. I scented trouble; so when a couple o' +men pounced onto the place where I'd just stood they found me +immejetly behind 'em, an' I rapped 'em on the heads before they +could express a sound. I heard a noise at the keyhole an' I +whispered in, "If you want to save the life o' Silver Dick, open the +door." + +I waited a minute an' then the door opened an inch, but a chain kept +it from goin' any wider. A woman's coarse voice sez, "What do ya +want?" I couldn't believe that this was the woman, so I sez, "I want +to speak to the other woman, an' it's got to be done quick." + +Presently a soft, gentle voice sez, "What is it?" + +"Silver Dick is in the Texas penitentiary, sentenced to be hanged +for a murder committed there in April four years ago. He'll be +hanged a week from to-morrow night if some one don't make a plea for +him. It takes a woman to do such a job as this--are you game?" + +"Why, he couldn't have done it," sez she. "He was here all that +spring." + +"Are you willin' to swear to it?" sez I. + +"Oh, I don't want to appear in public--but of course I will, if the' +ain't no other way." + +"You won't have to if you'll come with me to-night. The Governor of +Texas is up here on a huntin' trip; he'll be at a party to-morrow +night; all you'll need to do is to wait in a room where I'll hide +you until he gets into a meller mood--I know him well--an' then I'll +bring him to you an' you make a plea for him. You can be his wife or +his mother or daughter--or anything you wish." + +"I'll go," sez she, in a quiet tone, an' I breathed free; an' as +soon as she opened the door I dragged the two men inside. They were +Greasers, the same as the old woman what had first talked to me; an' +I turned 'em over to her a' took the woman with the soft voice down +to the train by a back street. She still wore a heavy veil, an' I +never looked at her--not right straight--but I could see that she +walked with her feet an' held her head on the top of her neck; so I +was purty certain that if Dick did return an' try to finish the +weddin' as the star performer she'd give us an interestin' +exhibition. + +Spider Kelley was at the station when I got off the train. I turned +the woman over to him, tellin' him to bring her out so as to arrive +the evenin' of the weddin', not to talk to her, an' not to let Dick +see her should he chance to come back that way; but to smuggle her +into the office as soon as preparations for the ceremony got +started. I still half looked for Dick, but I thought I had things +blocked out, no matter what turned up, an' I flopped on my hoss an' +rode him at about his best. + +Everything around the house was whirlin' with preparation; but +Barbie was about the palest lookin' bride 'at ever got ready to toe +the scratch, I reckon. The Hawthorn critter had stayed over at his +own ranch for the last week, an' Barbie wouldn't 'a' had no search- +warrant swore out if he had sent over word that it looked so good to +him that he had decided to continue to remain there for a million +years. + +The guests had arrived plenty early, an' whenever Barbie would +stumble on to a bunch of 'em she would head up an' get right rompy +again. We had about a ton o' stuff cooked, 'cause we was tol'able +thoroughly experienced on the neighbors. Folks out our way ain't +nowise uppity about such matters. All you need to do is to hint that +a little celebration is goin' to be pulled off an' you can count on +their presence; an' if so be 'at you've forgot anybody's invite, why +like as not they'll hear about it anyway an' be on hand in plenty o' +time. The weddin' was scheduled for Wednesday evenin' at eight +thirty; but by Sunday the house was full an' the grounds looked like +an Injun camp-meetin'. + +Jabez, intended to give Barbie the full penalty; none o' your +squires for him, nothin' but Friar Tuck, who was one o' these here +Episcolopian preachers what sport a full regalia an' a book o' +tactics calculated to meet any complication a human bein' is apt to +veer into. Some say they're just Roman Catholics, gone Republican, +an' some say that they're the ones who started the first strike--I +don't know much about it myself. + +He hadn't arrived by seven o'clock, but we didn't worry none; he +might have had to come fifty miles, an' he never had any time to +waste. + +We'd had a sort o' light supper at four o'clock, an' it was intended +to have the weddin' feast after the performance was finished. It was +just eight o'clock when Friar Tuck swung off his pony an' as many of +the crowd as could gathered in the big dinin' room an' waited for +the words to be said. Spidier Kelley came an' told me that he had +locked the woman in the office, an' that she was behavin' herself +reasonable, so I knew 'at the finish wasn't far off. The tables an' +chairs had been taken out, the intention bein' to dance in the +store-room after the ceremony, an' while the dancin' was goin' on to +set the banquet in the dinin' room. Oh, it was all planned out like +a theater show: Jabez had a full orchestra too, three fiddlers, a +guitarist, an' a fifer; an' they began to play solemn music, like +they allus do at a wedding. It's a toss-up which is the most +touchin', a weddin' or a funeral,--a feller's takin' a mighty long +shot at either one. + +The whole crowd was on edge, but myself was strained to the breakin' +point. Just as the old clock struck the half hour the orchestra +pealed forth a march, an' they all came struttin' in, slow an' +stately an' top-heavy, accordin' to the city way. Jabez was in a +brand-new suit o' black store clothes, an' had a mighty proud look +on his face; he was wearin' gloves too. Barbie was a-leanin' on his +arm, an' she was wearin' a dress 'at would 'a' made some o' the +queens crane their necks a bit, I reckon. Hawthorn had his nerve +with him, an' wore a low-necked vest an' a droop-tailed coat. I had +my own rig like this hid away in the stallion stable; so it didn't +jar me none; but some o' the boys had a hard time chokin' back their +grins. It was the first weddin' I had ever seen where the groom +hadn't wore a silk handkerchief around his neck. + +They all met in front o' Friar Tuck, who was standin' under a tissha +paper bell with about four miles o' ribbon tied to it. I couldn't +see Barbie's face on account o' the veil she was wearin'; but she +held her head high, an' I knew she was ready to take all the jumps +without balkin'. The Friar had one o' these voices 'at never seem to +say an idle word, an' the room got as still as though it was a trial +for life; which ain't so mighty far off the mark, that bein' the +usual sentence, an' out our way we don't count it game to get +pardoned out for a new trial. + +I was on pins an' needles durin' the openin', but Friar Tuck boomed +along until he arrived at the part where it sez "If any man knows +just cause why this here couple should not be joined together in +holy wedlock let him make his kick right now, or forever after hold +his peace." The room was as still as the grave, an' I had just taken +a full breath, so that I could make a clean throw, when a deep voice +at the back of the room sez: "I think that I know a cause. I don't +believe the girl is doin' this of her own free will." + +We all whirled around, an' there stood Silver Dick. Dusty he was an' +travel-stained; but as he loomed up, straight an' tall, he certainly +did look like a man. His beard was gone, his face was pale with a +sort of unnatural whiteness, an' he was ganted down in weight a +little; but all the same he put up a great front as he stood with +his hands on his hips, his head thrown back, an' a grim smile on his +face. Quick as a flash the ol' man, who had half expected this, +pulls a gun out of his pocket an' drops it on Dick, while the crowd +politely splits apart to give 'em a fair show. Barbie had settled +back, an' I caught her in my arms an' held her a moment; but all the +time my eyes were on Dick as though I'd been charmed. + +Never in my life have I seen such a figger of a man as him, as he +stood there alone an' unfriended. His hat was tilted back a bit, an' +his short wavey hair rippled across his forehead, his mustache had +been shaved off and his lips somehow reminded me of the muzzle of a +gun, they was that firm; while his eyes--man, he had the greatest +eyes in the world. Blue steel they was, but never for a moment free +from some hidden fire. When he smiled they danced; when he frowned +they blazed; but to-night the' was a new darin' in 'em,--a +confidence, a purpose, an' a strength that defied Death himself. + +He had changed a heap since we'd seen him last. His face was as +smooth as a woman's, his hands were white, an' his clothes looked +like picture clothes out of a book. He didn't speak for some time, +an' then he said: "Is your gun broke, Mr. Judson, or do you think it +would be only the square thing to talk things over first? I think I +can interest you. I am not armed; perhaps you would be more +comfortable if you lowered your gun until you were ready to shoot." + +The' was a sting in his slow, sarcastic tone, an' a scowl came over +Jabez' face; but he lowered his gun just the same. I didn't want to +soften any toward Dick so I had to keep grittin' my teeth as I +watched him, 'cause bluffin' a man like Cast Steel, armed an' ready, +was a stirrin' sight, an' Dick looked as if he had the backin' of an +army. + +"Mr. Judson," sez Dick, "when I left here your daughter was promised +to marry me, an' I promised to write as often as possible; but after +I started in to clean up my record I was denied the privilege of +writin'. I am here now, with my record clean; the' ain't no spot on +this earth where I don't feel free to go--an' now I claim her hand." + +"Claim her hand, do ya?" sez Jabez, with a wicked leer. "Well, you +allus was better at claimin' than at gettin'. I don't want to sadden +my daughter's weddin' night, but if you ain't minded to go your way +peaceable I'll have to spoil ya." + +"Barbie," sez Dick, an' his voice was meller as a flute, "don't ya +love me no more?" + +She raised her head an' looked at him, but she couldn't speak, so +she only nodded her head. + +"Will ya marry me?" sez Dick, an' we all waited a long time for the +answer. + +Once or twice she tried it, before her voice finally got back to +her, "Dick,," she sez, "I waited for ya a long time, an' I never +heard from you; so I thought 'at you had either forgot me or else +you were--were no longer living; an'--oh, Dick, you have no idee how +hard it has been for me. You can't imagine how often I refused, nor +what a lonely life I was forced to live; but I've never ceased to +love you, an' I allus told 'em so. Now I am half married to another +man; an' I don't see what we can do." + +"Well, I see what we can do!" blurts out Jabez, raisin' his gun +again. "We can go right on with this ceremony. You have give your +word, an' the word of a Judson is bindin'. As for you, you sneakin' +card-sharp, I'll give you just ten to state your intentions." + +Jabez started to count slow an' steady with his left forefinger, +while he held his gun above his right shoulder ready for the drop. +His face was white an' his eyes blazed like live coals. The' was no +time to waste now; Dick had a card up his sleeve, an' this was his +chance to take the trick, or he'd spoil my own game. The room was so +still it hurt you to breathe. Somebody sneezed, an' it sounded like +a boiler explosion. + +"Judson," sez Dick, an' he was smilin' now; but it was the chillin' +smile I had first seen durin' the card game. It wasn't a pleasant +smile. "Judson, I did not cheat durin' that game, an' I never did +cheat, although gamblin was my business. You have become a fanatic +on the subject o' truth, an' I propose to tell you some. You are a +bully; you have bullied this girl in order to make her consent; and +you are a coward, a miserable coward. Any man afraid of his own past +is a coward; and your past stands back of you like a ghost, doggin' +your steps awake, an' hauntin' your dreams 'sleep. You preach the +truth; but your entire life is one black--" + +"Stop!" yells Jabez, holdin' his hand over his heart, but gettin' +the drop on Dick, although his face looked like the face of a man +long dead. "Say another word an' a bullet will drive it back through +your teeth." + +"All right," sez Dick, still smilin' his cruel, hard smile; "but you +have only counted up to five, an' you gave me ten. You're surely +honest enough to stick to your own agreement. Begin to count now, +while I start the tale about Jack Whitman an' the Creole Belle--" + +When Dick mentioned the name o' Jack Whitman both o' Jabez' arms +fell to his side; an' when Dick spoke o' the Creole Belle his legs +shut together like a pocket knife; an' he crumpled down on a little +padded bench they had fixed up to kneel on. His face was gray, an' +his eyes had a scum over 'em, while his mouth hung open like the +mouth of a man dyin' of old age. Barbie gave a low, waverin' call: +"Oh, what have you done, oh, Dick! Daddy, Daddy; what's the matter +Dad?" + +She jumped to his side, an' after tearin' off her veil she knelt at +his feet; but he drew his hands feebly away, an' refused to touch +her; while a look of sorrow--sorrow an' pain an' shame, swept across +his old gray face, an' his lips trembled so 'at he couldn't talk. + +I glanced at Silver Dick; he stood there with his lips set tight, +his eyes cold an' hard, an' I knew 'at he was ready to make his +kill, cost what it would. + +"Oh, Daddy," pleaded Barbie, "don't look this way. Tell me what it +is all about. Don't turn away from me, Dad; I don't care what it is, +or whether it is true or false--I am ready to forgive you, an' to +love you. Look at me. Daddy. I care more for you than for any one +else in the whole world. + +"Yes," she sez, standin' up an' flashin' a look into Dick's eyes as +fierce as they had ever shot themselves. "Yes, an' if you think to +win me by strikin' down my old Dad, why--we have both been mistaken, +an' I despise you!" + +Silver looked as though she had struck him in the face with a whip; +the hot blood swept up to his hair, an' then left him ghastly white +again; while she put her hand on the ol' man's shoulder an' looked +like an eagle protectin' her brood. I looked around for Hawthorn, +who had become entirely forgotten. Gee! how I envied him his chance +just then; but there he stood, lookin' like a white rabbit bein' +tried for murder. The girl looked at him too, gave him one long +scornful look; then she looked back at Silver, standin' all alone +like the statue of a king; an' then she looked up at me. "Happy," +she sez, "you never failed me yet. Clear this room--clear it of +every one but just ourselves." + +"Clear the room," I yells. "Come, friends, this is the time to step +lively. You can go into the store-room an' dance if you want to, but +the weddin' has been postponed." + +They filed out in good order, all except Dick, Friar Tuck, an' +Hawthorn. Hawthorn stood leanin' again the wall, lookin' at Dick as +though he was seein' a ghost. I tapped him on the shoulder. "Git!" I +sez, "your number didn't win nothin'." He gives a start, then down +on the floor he flops with his eyes turned in an' his mouth frothin' +a little. Friar Tuck straightened him out an' began to rub his +hands; an' I turned to Dick. + +"Now, it's your turn to go," I sez. "I'd advise you to go clear to +England, where you'll find good news." + +He came toward me as if he didn't see me, an' when he reached me he +said: "You better go along too, Happy. I want to talk to them +alone." + +"Jim," I said, usin' the old name, "I don't want to do you harm. +This game is up; you'd better go along peaceable." + +He looked at me a moment in surprise, an' then his face got haughty, +an' he put out his hand to push me aside. I took him by the arm an' +swung him over against the wall. At first he couldn't seem to +understand that I was in ear-nest, an' then his hand shot to hip an' +breast; but he had spoke the truth, he wasn't armed. I had him +covered, an' he sneered into my face without speakin'. I walled over +an' examined him, but he didn't have even a knife. I didn't have the +heart to drive him forth like a dog, so I sez, too low for the rest +to hear: "Jim, I know the double life you've been leadin'; but you +can't break Barbie's heart. You're a married man, an' I know it." + +"You lie," he sez, clear an' cold. It was just the word I needed. + +I crossed the room an' laid my gun on a chair, an' then I turned to +him. "We're equal now," sez I. "The winner gets the gun." + +He wasn't as strong as I was, quite; an' he was some out o' +condition; but he had had trainin' more than me, an' for a few +minutes he stood me off; an' then as he struck at me I grabbed his +wrist, his left wrist, with my right hand, shot it in close to his +body, an' clamped it behind his back; while I got his throat with my +left. Slowly I brought him to his knees, my fingers all the time +workin' deeper into his throat, while his right kept jabbin' me till +it made me grunt. No one tried to interfere at first; but then he +got too weak to strike. Barbie said sharply, "Happy Hawkins, stop +that at once!" + +"I'll stop as soon as he promisses to go without further trouble," +sez I. + +She got up an' came across the room to us like a flash, an' seized +the wrist that held Jim's throat. "Let him alone, Happy," she said +fiercely. + +I gave him a little push that sent him to the floor, an' then I +picked up my, gun. Jim rose to his feet; but the starch was purty +well taken out of him, an' of course this touched her heart, she +bein' a woman. "Are you hurt, Dick?" she sez sympathetic. "Yes, I'm +hurt," he snaps back, glarin' at me; "not at what he's done, but at +his lies." + +"It's no lie," sez I. + +"What was it?" asked Barbie--of Jim. He didn't answer for a minute, +an' when he did his voice shook; but he looked into her eyes as he +answered: "He said I was married." + +Barbie drew away with a sharp gasp an' looked at him in horror; then +she looked at me with her face all drawn up with anguish. "I tried +to prepare you for this three weeks ago, Barbie," I sez, "an' you-- +you know what you threw in my face." + +"Oh, Happy, Happy," she whispered, "it's not true, it's not true-- +say it's not true!" + +"It is true, Barbie," sez I, an' she gave a scream. + +"It is not true," sez Dick, an' she glanced from one to the other. + +"I can prove it at once," sez I; "she's here to-night." + +"Who?" asked Dick with a start. + +"The wife you left in Laramie," sez I. + +"Good God, you haven't brought her here. have you!" shouted Dick, +an' Barbie a queer, heart-broken little laugh. "It's true, it's +true," she sez. "You have convicted yourself, and it's true. +Happy,"--she went on speakin' to me,--"of all the men I have ever +known you are the only one that has been always true to me. You said +that you would never marry me unless I asked you to--prove to me +that this man is already married, an' I'll marry you. I'll get down +on my knees an' beg you to marry me. The world seems full of wolves +an' I want a man I can trust." + +She was wild, an' the look in her eyes frightened me; but she came +over an' put her hand on my arm, an' said: "Prove it, prove it, an' +then let us go away together!" + +"She's out in the office," sez I. "Shall I bring her in here?" + +"No," sez Dick. "Happy, for heaven's sake don't do anything hasty." + +"Bring her in, bring her in at once!" sez Barbie. "This is my +wedding-day, an' my father wanted it to be the talk of the whole +state. Bring her in!" + +Just as I reached the door it opened, an' the strange woman came in +with old Melisse, who was makin' queer throaty noises like a dog. +Her veil was raised, an' I stepped back in surprise. She was an +elderly woman with gray hair, white at the temples, an' dark eyes +that rested for a moment on Dick, for a longer second on Barbie, an' +then stopped when they met the starin' eyes of of Cast Steel, who +had staggered to his feet. + +He stood there with his hands clutchin' the side of his head, an' +his lips movin' rapidly, but not a sound comin' through 'em, an' +then his knees gave way beneath him, an' Friar Tuck eased him back +to the little padded bench. The hands of the strange woman were +clasped on her breast; but even when the rest of us started for +Jabez she didn't move. + + + + +CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE + +THE FINAL RECKONING + + +It hurts me inside to see anything plumb beaten. I've hunted a lot, +an' I'm as keen on the trail as a terrier dog an' durin the fight I +don't have no disturbin shudders; but after I've won an' I see the +light of joy an' hope an' freedom fadin' out of eyes that have been +so bright an' fearless, the' 's allus somethin' 'at swells inside o' +my breast an' makes me half sorry 'at all fights can't end in a +draw. The' 's one kind of nature which I never yet was able to +figger out, an' that's the nature that can rub it in on a fallen +foe. + +Poor old Jabez, I'd judged him an' I'd judges him harsh; but when I +saw him go to pieces there on the padded bench I just seemed to go +to pieces with him. When I saw the strength leave him like the steam +from an engine as the flood reaches its fire-box; when I saw the +hands that thought they was strong enough to shape the future +danglin' between his crooked knees, an' the eyes that had never +before asked mercy lookin' up glazed an' pitiful, why, it felt to me +as if I was just tryin' to send the strength out of my own body into +his. Poor ol' Jabez, he was cast steel to the finish, no spring, +just simply rigid an' stiff, till at last he broke. + +But runnin' the universe is no job for a human; every man would +choose to look his best when he's to meet the one woman; but if +Jabez had still been standin' like a rock an' lookin' out at the +world through eagle-eyes the woman at the door wouldn't never have +spoke to him. When she saw him tired an' broken an' heart-sick of +life itself, the mother in her finally tore out all the wrongs o' +the past, an' she crossed the room an' took one of his hands an' +said, "George, you mustn't give up, you mustn't give up now." + +Barbie was holdin' his other hand, an' the ol' man looked first from +one to the other while big tears gathered in his open eyes an' +rolled slowly down his cheeks. I tell you it was a touchy sight, an' +I was sweatin' like a fish when ol' Friar Tuck tip-toed over an' put +one hand on my shoulder an' the other on Jim's, an' said: "They'll +get along better without us, boys. Let's just step outside till they +call us." + +Oh, I tell you that Friar Tuck was a sky-pilot for true! We sneaked +stealthily to the door, passin' ol' Melisse on the way. She was +huddled up on the floor prayin' in Spanish, an' Friar Tuck rested +his hand on her head a second, an' then we went out into the night +air--I can taste my first breath of it yet. + +He went over to see how the crowd was doin' in the storeroom, sayin' +that he thought he'd get some eatin'-things under way to sort of +ease the strain--he knew a human all right, the Friar did. Jim an' I +walked out together under the stars, an' I told him my side of it; +an' he told me that he had met Jack Whitman when he was runnin' a +gamblin' place close to the New Mexico line. Whitman ran it on the +square an' he had saved Jim a lot o' money one night, an' then +afterwards Jim had helped to stand off a hold-up gang, an' a strong +feelin' had grew up between 'em. Whitman had told part of the story, +but made out that Barbie's mother was his own sister. When she had +left Jabez an' the child--I don't know, myself, just why she left +him. It started when she found out how he had lied to Whitman an' +mighty near killed him; but just all that happened, before she +burned out her brand and skipped, I don't know to this day, but they +was both purty high-headed an' nervy in their youth, an' I've often +suspected that Jabez' conscience didn't get to workin' smooth until +after he was left alone with the child on his hands. It sometimes +happens that way. + +Well, anyhow, when she had left him she had gone to the southern +part of California, where she'd got a job teachin' school. Whitman +had located her, an' when her health gave out he had sent her money +without lettin' her know where it came from. Whitman had follered +minin' till his wife died, an' then he got to speculatin' in stocks, +finally gettin' cleaned out full an' proper, an' then he started to +gamblin' in earnest. It was from him that Jim had picked up most of +his idees about business an' gamblin'. When Whitman himself had died +he had turned Barbie's mother over to Jim. + +She was livin' on a ranch in northern Colorado at this time, on +account of her health. When Jim got cleaned out by the cattle crowd, +an' opened his joint in Laramie, he brought her over to keep house +an' be company for him. He pertended to be the son of a wild uncle +she'd had, an' he fixed up a believable tale to go with it. All the +while he'd been at the Diamond Dot he had supposed that she was +Whitman's sister--she went by her maiden name of Miss Garrison, an' +she had never told him her full story, simply hintin' enough at +times to let him know that she had gone through the mill. + +He had never pieced things together until I had sent him my letter, +an' then he guessed how it was, an' puttin' what I told him onto +what she an' Whitman had told him, he saw it all. He didn't know +what had made her leave Judson, or rather Jordan; but he said he was +positive it was his fault, as she was some the finest woman he had +ever met, exceptin' of course her own daughter. + +We talked it all over there in the starlight, until ol' Melisse came +an' called us in. I didn't want to go; I was tryin' to cut myself +out of the game entirely an' forget that I even existed; for the' +was a cry in my heart that wouldn't hush, an' I wanted to be alone; +but when Jim insisted I braced up an' went in. + +Ol' Jabez looked a heap better, but still shaky; his wife had a +tender half sad smile on her face, while Barbie was radiant with the +joy she had waited for so long; she had kept her father, she had +found her mother, an' she was about to meet--her lover. I saw the +Sioux Injuns doin' the dance once, where they tie thongs through +their breast muscles an' circle around a pole. Every now an' again +they'd fling back their full weight on the thongs, an' their faces +would light with savage joy. That was the kind of joy I felt when I +saw Barbie's face. + +Her mother smiled into Jim's eyes when he came in, an' Jabez stood +up an' held out his hand. "Do you want to marry her?" he said. + +"That's the only wish I have," sez Jim. + +"Then she's yours, an' I thank God she's got a true man," sez Jabez, +puttin' Barbie's hand into Jim's. I turned my face away. + +The first thing I knew I felt a hand on my shoulder an' another hand +taken' hold of mine. I turned an' looked down into Barbie's face, +but I couldn't bear the light in her eyes. I turned my face away +again--an' my lips were tremblin', the blasted traitors. + +But she turned me around until my eyes looked down into hers, an' +they were swimmin' in tears. Her little soft hand clasped my big +rough one, tight an' warm, an' her voice was husky as she whispered, +"You--you won't care much, will you, Happy?" + +"No, Barbie," I sez between my set teeth, "not much"; an' by God, I +smiled. + +"An', Happy," she went on, "my home will allus be your home, an' +anything that is mine is yours; but my heart ain't mine, ol' pal; +an' so--an' so we can't help it." + +"No," I sez, an' I was back in the saddle again this time. "No, +little gel, we can't help it; but we can allus make the best of it; +so I vote that we don't disappoint the crowd; but go on an' have a +weddin'." + +She backed away from me a little, while her face took the color of a +rose, an' her eyes went to the floor; an' then I turned to Jabez an' +said: "Jabez, I've took a mighty sight off you in my time without +ever puttin' up one little squeal; but if you send this gang away +to-night without a weddin', why, I quit you for good." + +The' was all so wrought up that I was about the steadiest in the +room; an' in about two minutes I had 'em lined up, an' the crowd +back in place an' Friar Tuck in full regimentals under the tissha +paper bell. + +Before we could begin, however. Jabez mounted on a chair an' said in +a new, soft voice: "Friends, in all my life I never told but one +black lie. I may have spoken falsely through ignorance, or to spare +sorrow to my child; but I never fought through the temptation but +once, an' got whipped by it. I told one black lie, an' it was the +blackest one ever told, I reckon. It brought me my money an' my +wife; an' my load of shame an' sin an' contempt--it lost me the best +friend I ever had, an' it led to my losin' my wife for most o' my +journey. All my life I've tried to live down that lie an' to fill +every man I met with a reverence for the truth, an' that's what +makes me so blame ashamed of the way I've treated Dick. I ought to +have seen quicker'n anybody else the kind of a fight he was a- +makin', an' pitched in an' helped him instead of findin' him guilty, +on the first suspicion, an' tryin' to make his life as sour as mine +has been. But"--here Jabez put his arm about Barbie's shoulder, an' +looked down on her a moment--"it was all on account o' this little +girl." + +Then we all gave a cheer an' Friar Tuck tied the knot, after which +every one opened the sluice-gates o' their hearts an' let the +sociability gush forth in a torrent. I stuck around until the +dancin' began, an' then I flopped myself on a hoss an' rode, an' +rode, an' rode. The air was cool an' crisp as it swept over my face; +but it was a long time before it took the fever out of my blood. +Finally I circled back to of Monody's grave an' got off an' sat +there till the sun came up, fresh an' strong. Ol' Monody had taken +the burden 'at had been handed to him, an' had borne it along to a +mighty fire finish; an' it made me ashamed of myself, so I got to my +feet, gave myself a shake, an' rode back to the ranch house. + + + + +CHAPTER THIRTY + +THE AFTERGLOW + + +I didn't look for anybody to be about that early after the night +that outfit had put in; but just before I reached the corral I saw +Barbie an' Jim ridin' slowly toward the stable. They was ridin' +close together an' lookin' into each other's eyes, an' I'm glad to +say that even that soon I felt nothin' but joy in the sight. A +little farther on I spied Jabez an' his wife standin' on a knoll, +lookin' at the sunshine, an' before I reached the house I saw two +others swingin' up the trail on a lope. In a minute I made out Bill +Hammersly an' Jessamie. For just one second I did feel a little bit +out o' the world; but by the time they rode up I was able to welcome +'em with a joke. + +"We lost our way," sez Bill. "Is it too late?" + +"It's never too late," sez I. "But I'm right down sorry that you +didn't arrive last evenin'. We had about as stirrin' a weddin' here +as ever you see." + +"Who was it that Barbie married?" asked Jessamie. + +Just then Jim an' Barbie came around the corner o' the house, an' I +sez: "Mr. an' Mrs. Bill Hammersly, allow me to make you introduced +to the Earl o' Clarenden an' his bride." + +They was totally devoid of remarks for some time. Jim was the first +to speak, an' he seemed a trifle put out. "What do you mean by such +nonsense, Happy?" sez he. Then they all looked at him on account of +him usin' the tone he had. I turned to Barbie an' sez easily: "I was +tellin' Bill down at Frisco about a month ago that I rather doubted +if Jim here would take the job; but if so be that he wants it, it's +open for him. If not, that Hawthorn thing has the next chance." + +I stepped back a few paces after this an' let 'em talk it out. Jim +was the most flabbergasted of any, Barbie looked a little bit +frightened; but Jessamie sez: "If Happy Hawkins sez 'at you're the +Earl of Clarenden, why you might as well give up. He has inside +information on every given subject, an' things don't never happen +until he's had his finger in it somewhere." Jessamie allus was a +good feller. + +An' that's the way it turned out. Jim an' Barbie went back to +Clarenden on their honeymoon, an' Barbie's taken the lead over there +the same as she'd do anywhere. I stayed right at the Diamond Dot +'cause Jabez didn't seem able to get along without me; an' I hit +work harder than ever. Now I oversee the Diamond Dot, Jim's place +down in the Pan Handle, which is full stocked an' runnin' easy with +the ex-governor's backin', an' also the ol' Colonel Scott ranch +which Bill and Jessamie fell heir to. + +Jim an' Barbie an' the children come back every summer; Bill an' +Jessamie an' their outfit hop in on me most any time, Ches an' his +bunch drop in for a week or so now an' again, an' if I ever do get +lonesome I just sneak my full-dress uniform out o' the hay an' go +down to Frisco for a little easin' off o' the guy-ropes. Oh, I +haven't had to petition to congress to have my name changed; I'm +Happy. I'm happier than any human ever had a right to be, an' life +never drags none--at least not in the daytimes. The' 's dozens o' +boys named after me, an' only the recordin' angel knows how many +dogs an' ponies. Take it as a big gatherin', an' if any one yells, +"Happy, you rascal, get out o' here," Why the' 's a general +stampede. + +Barbie's allus extra kind to me, as if she still felt that the' was +somethin' left for me to forgive her; but my goodness, the' ain't a +thing. It wasn't her fault--she couldn't never have loved me--not in +the only way I wanted her to. And it ain't my fault--I couldn't help +but love her, an' the' was only one way that I could love her, an' +that was world without end. I'm not sorry I loved her; why, the' +ain't nothin' in life I'd take for this love of mine--and it is +mine. The' ain't nothin' can ever take it away from me, the' ain't +nothin' can ever put a limit to it; an' though it has burned in my +heart like fire, I reckon the worst it has ever done was to burn up +the natural-born evil I started out with. I ain't mean-hearted nor +jealous--I can't even understand it. + +I can easy see how a feller would kill a man for ill-treatin' the +woman he loved; but I can't see how he could marry a girl who didn't +love him with all her heart. An' Jim, he's been square. They're +happy, an' I stand afar off watchin' 'em; an' some way when I'm out +in the starlight--when it seems that I ain't lyin' on the earth at +all, but floatin' slow an' easy like an eagle restin' on his wings-- +I seem to share in their love, an' I don't seem to grow old. + +I don't reckon I ever will grow old, 'cause love is--love is--some +way MY love is like the starlight itself; an' the starlight don't +scorch an' weaken an' pester like the sun; it soothes an' softens +an' lifts a man up where it's calm an' steady and--and pure. + +The longer I live the fonder I grow o' the stars. It don't take as +much sleep for me now as it used to, an' I never was dopey; so the' +'s mighty few nights 'at I don't have a little visit with 'em. I +know now 'at they keep whirlin' an' circlin' away up there; but they +never deceive a body. You can allus keep track of 'm, an' when the +seasons change an' you can't see 'em for a while, you know 'at +they're tendin' to their duties just the same; an' somehow it kind +o' holds a man to the trail when the trail is gettin' rougher than +he thinks he can stand. + +I've got a heap o' friends, men an' women of all kinds; an' when +they come to me ragin' an' bitter, I just take 'em out an' show 'em +the stars; tell 'em the ones who are about to go on a long journey, +but who will come back again when they're due, an' not a minute +late. The' 's something about the stars 'at allus seems to take the +wickedness out of a human. I've had 'em come to me--men an' women +both--with murder in their hearts; but after we've visited a while +with the stars they either sigh or sob--but they allus go away clean +an' rested. + +It's a funny notion; but sometimes I feet like as if I'd like to be +a star myself; away up above the worry an' selfishness of the world, +an' helpin' to bring peace an content to those who look up to me. +It's a funny notion--especially for a feller what's follered the +trail I have. + +Me an' the preachers lock horns purty often; but they're all right, +most of 'em, when you treat 'em like humans an' make 'em play fair. +One of 'em happened out here on a visit, to sort o' rest up, an' he +called me some kind of a Persian name an' read me a little book +called The Other Wise Man. I reckon I know that book, all except the +big names, by heart; an' if one of my stars would ever cut out o' +the herd an' go off, slow an' stately on a new trail, why I'd foller +that star--God knows I'd foller; an'--I wouldn't let on to no one +else except you--but, way down, deep in my heart, I'm hopin' that +sometime I'll get the chance. + + + + + +End Project Gutenberg Etext of Happy Hawkins, by Robert Alexander Wason + diff --git a/old/hhwkn10.zip b/old/hhwkn10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a48cbe0 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/hhwkn10.zip |