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diff --git a/old/crtsb10.txt b/old/crtsb10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5dce1e0 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/crtsb10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1781 @@ +Project Gutenberg Etext of The Courtship of Susan Bell, by Trollope +#17 in our series by Anthony Trollope + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. 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She had not only deserved it but had +possessed it, and as long as John Munroe Bell had lived, Henrietta +Bell--Hetta as he called her--had been a woman rich in blessings. +After twelve years of such blessings he had left her, and had left +with her two daughters, a second Hetta, and the heroine of our +little story, Susan Bell. + +A lawyer in Albany may thrive passing well for eight or ten years, +and yet not leave behind him any very large sum of money if he dies +at the end of that time. Some small modicum, some few thousand +dollars, John Bell had amassed, so that his widow and daughters were +not absolutely driven to look for work or bread. + +In those happy days when cash had begun to flow in plenteously to +the young father of the family, he had taken it into his head to +build for himself, or rather for his young female brood, a small +neat house in the outskirts of Saratoga Springs. In doing so he was +instigated as much by the excellence of the investment for his +pocket as by the salubrity of the place for his girls. He furnished +the house well, and then during some summer weeks his wife lived +there, and sometimes he let it. + +How the widow grieved when the lord of her heart and master of her +mind was laid in the grave, I need not tell. She had already +counted ten years of widowhood, and her children had grown to be +young women beside her at the time of which I am now about to speak. +Since that sad day on which they had left Albany they had lived +together at the cottage at the Springs. In winter their life had +been lonely enough; but as soon as the hot weather began to drive +the fainting citizens out from New York, they had always received +two or three boarders--old ladies generally, and occasionally an old +gentleman--persons of very steady habits, with whose pockets the +widow's moderate demands agreed better than the hotel charges. And +so the Bells lived for ten years. + +That Saratoga is a gay place in July, August, and September, the +world knows well enough. To girls who go there with trunks full of +muslin and crinoline, for whom a carriage and pair of horses is +always waiting immediately after dinner, whose fathers' pockets are +bursting with dollars, it is a very gay place. Dancing and +flirtations come as a matter of course, and matrimony follows after +with only too great rapidity. But the place was not very gay for +Hetta or Susan Bell. + +In the first place the widow was a timid woman, and among other +fears feared greatly that she should be thought guilty of setting +traps for husbands. Poor mothers! how often are they charged with +this sin when their honest desires go no further than that their +bairns may be "respectit like the lave." And then she feared +flirtations; flirtations that should be that and nothing more, +flirtations that are so destructive of the heart's sweetest essence. +She feared love also, though she longed for that as well as feared +it;--for her girls, I mean; all such feelings for herself were long +laid under ground;--and then, like a timid creature as she was, she +had other indefinite fears, and among them a great fear that those +girls of hers would be left husbandless,--a phase of life which +after her twelve years of bliss she regarded as anything but +desirable. But the upshot was,--the upshot of so many fears and +such small means,--that Hetta and Susan Bell had but a dull life of +it. + +Were it not that I am somewhat closely restricted in the number of +my pages, I would describe at full the merits and beauties of Hetta +and Susan Bell. As it is I can but say a few words. At our period +of their lives Hetta was nearly one-and-twenty, and Susan was just +nineteen. Hetta was a short, plump, demure young woman, with the +softest smoothed hair, and the brownest brightest eyes. She was +very useful in the house, good at corn cakes, and thought much, +particularly in these latter months, of her religious duties. Her +sister in the privacy of their own little room would sometimes twit +her with the admiring patience with which she would listen to the +lengthened eloquence of Mr. Phineas Beckard, the Baptist minister. +Now Mr. Phineas Beckard was a bachelor. + +Susan was not so good a girl in the kitchen or about the house as +was her sister; but she was bright in the parlour, and if that +motherly heart could have been made to give out its inmost secret-- +which however, it could not have been made to give out in any way +painful to dear Hetta--perhaps it might have been found that Susan +was loved with the closest love. She was taller than her sister, +and lighter; her eyes were blue as were her mother's; her hair was +brighter than Hetta's, but not always so singularly neat. She had a +dimple on her chin, whereas Hetta had none; dimples on her cheeks +too, when she smiled; and, oh, such a mouth! There; my allowance of +pages permits no more. + +One piercing cold winter's day there came knocking at the widow's +door--a young man. Winter days, when the ice of January is refrozen +by the wind of February, are very cold at Saratoga Springs. In +these days there was not often much to disturb the serenity of Mrs. +Bell's house; but on the day in question there came knocking at the +door--a young man. + +Mrs. Bell kept an old domestic, who had lived with them in those +happy Albany days. Her name was Kate O'Brien, but though +picturesque in name she was hardly so in person. She was a thick- +set, noisy, good-natured old Irishwoman, who had joined her lot to +that of Mrs. Bell when the latter first began housekeeping, and +knowing when she was well off; had remained in the same place from +that day forth. She had known Hetta as a baby, and, so to say, had +seen Susan's birth. + +"And what might you be wanting, sir?" said Kate O'Brien, apparently +not quite pleased as she opened the door and let in all the cold +air. + +"I wish to see Mrs. Bell. Is not this Mrs. Bell's house?" said the +young man, shaking the snow from out of the breast of his coat. + +He did see Mrs. Bell, and we will now tell who he was, and why he +had come, and how it came to pass that his carpet-bag was brought +down to the widow's house and one of the front bedrooms was prepared +for him, and that he drank tea that night in the widow's parlour. + +His name was Aaron Dunn, and by profession he was an engineer. What +peculiar misfortune in those days of frost and snow had befallen the +line of rails which runs from Schenectady to Lake Champlain, I never +quite understood. Banks and bridges had in some way come to grief, +and on Aaron Dunn's shoulders was thrown the burden of seeing that +they were duly repaired. Saratoga Springs was the centre of these +mishaps, and therefore at Saratoga Springs it was necessary that he +should take up his temporary abode. + +Now there was at that time in New York city a Mr. Bell, great in +railway matters--an uncle of the once thriving but now departed +Albany lawyer. He was a rich man, but he liked his riches himself; +or at any rate had not found himself called upon to share them with +the widow and daughters of his nephew. But when it chanced to come +to pass that he had a hand in despatching Aaron Dunn to Saratoga, he +took the young man aside and recommended him to lodge with the +widow. "There," said he, "show her my card." So much the rich +uncle thought he might vouchsafe to do for the nephew's widow. + +Mrs. Bell and both her daughters were in the parlour when Aaron Dunn +was shown in, snow and all. He told his story in a rough, shaky +voice, for his teeth chattered; and he gave the card, almost wishing +that he had gone to the empty big hotel, for the widow's welcome was +not at first quite warm. + +The widow listened to him as he gave his message, and then she took +the card and looked at it. Hetta, who was sitting on the side of +the fireplace facing the door, went on demurely with her work. +Susan gave one glance round--her back was to the stranger--and then +another; and then she moved her chair a little nearer to the wall, +so as to give the young man room to come to the fire, if he would. +He did not come, but his eyes glanced upon Susan Bell; and he +thought that the old man in New York was right, and that the big +hotel would be cold and dull. It was a pretty face to look on that +cold evening as she turned it up from the stocking she was mending. + +"Perhaps you don't wish to take winter boarders, ma'am?" said Aaron +Dunn. + +"We never have done so yet, sir," said Mrs. Bell timidly. Could she +let this young wolf in among her lamb-fold? He might be a wolf;-- +who could tell? + +"Mr. Bell seemed to think it would suit," said Aaron. + +Had he acquiesced in her timidity and not pressed the point, it +would have been all up with him. But the widow did not like to go +against the big uncle; and so she said, "Perhaps it may, sir." + +"I guess it will, finely," said Aaron. And then the widow seeing +that the matter was so far settled, put down her work and came round +into the passage. Hetta followed her, for there would be housework +to do. Aaron gave himself another shake, settled the weekly number +of dollars--with very little difficulty on his part, for he had +caught another glance at Susan's face; and then went after his bag. +'Twas thus that Aaron Dunn obtained an entrance into Mrs. Bell's +house. "But what if he be a wolf?" she said to herself over and +over again that night, though not exactly in those words. Ay, but +there is another side to that question. What if he be a stalwart +man, honest-minded, with clever eye, cunning hand, ready brain, +broad back, and warm heart; in want of a wife mayhap; a man that can +earn his own bread and another's;--half a dozen others' when the +half dozen come? Would not that be a good sort of lodger? Such a +question as that too did flit, just flit, across the widow's +sleepless mind. But then she thought so much more of the wolf! +Wolves, she had taught herself to think, were more common than +stalwart, honest-minded, wife-desirous men. + +"I wonder mother consented to take him," said Hetta, when they were +in the little room together. + +"And why shouldn't she?" said Susan. "It will be a help." + +"Yes, it will be a little help," said Hetta. "But we have done very +well hitherto without winter lodgers." + +"But uncle Bell said she was to." + +"What is uncle Bell to us?" said Hetta, who had a spirit of her own. +And she began to surmise within herself whether Aaron Dunn would +join the Baptist congregation, and whether Phineas Beckard would +approve of this new move. + +"He is a very well-behaved young man at any rate," said Susan, "and +he draws beautifully. Did you see those things he was doing?" + +"He draws very well, I dare say," said Hetta, who regarded this as +but a poor warranty for good behaviour. Hetta also had some fear of +wolves--not for herself perhaps; but for her sister. + +Aaron Dunn's work--the commencement of his work--lay at some +distance from the Springs, and he left every morning with a lot of +workmen by an early train--almost before daylight. And every +morning, cold and wintry as the mornings were, the widow got him his +breakfast with her own hands. She took his dollars and would not +leave him altogether to the awkward mercies of Kate O'Brien; nor +would she trust her girls to attend upon the young man. Hetta she +might have trusted; but then Susan would have asked why she was +spared her share of such hardship. + +In the evening, leaving his work when it was dark, Aaron always +returned, and then the evening was passed together. But they were +passed with the most demure propriety. These women would make the +tea, cut the bread and butter, and then sew; while Aaron Dunn, when +the cups were removed, would always go to his plans and drawings. + +On Sundays they were more together; but even on this day there was +cause of separation, for Aaron went to the Episcopalian church, +rather to the disgust of Hetta. In the afternoon, however, they +were together; and then Phineas Beckard came in to tea on Sundays, +and he and Aaron got to talking on religion; and though they +disagreed pretty much, and would not give an inch either one or the +other, nevertheless the minister told the widow, and Hetta too +probably, that the lad had good stuff in him, though he was so +stiff-necked. + +"But he should be more modest in talking on such matters with a +minister," said Hetta. + +The Rev. Phineas acknowledged that perhaps he should; but he was +honest enough to repeat that the lad had stuff in him. "Perhaps +after all he is not a wolf," said the widow to herself. + +Things went on in this way for above a month. Aaron had declared to +himself over and over again that that face was sweet to look upon, +and had unconsciously promised to himself certain delights in +talking and perhaps walking with the owner of it. But the walkings +had not been achieved--nor even the talkings as yet. The truth was +that Dunn was bashful with young women, though he could be so stiff- +necked with the minister. + +And then he felt angry with himself, inasmuch as he had advanced no +further; and as he lay in his bed--which perhaps those pretty hands +had helped to make--he resolved that he would be a thought bolder in +his bearing. He had no idea of making love to Susan Bell; of course +not. But why should he not amuse himself by talking to a pretty +girl when she sat so near him, evening after evening? + +"What a very quiet young man he is," said Susan to her sister. + +"He has his bread to earn, and sticks to his work," said Hetta. "No +doubt he has his amusement when he is in the city," added the elder +sister, not wishing to leave too strong an impression of the young +man's virtue. + +They had all now their settled places in the parlour. Hetta sat on +one side of the fire, close to the table, having that side to +herself. There she sat always busy. She must have made every dress +and bit of linen worn in the house, and hemmed every sheet and +towel, so busy was she always. Sometimes, once in a week or so, +Phineas Beckard would come in, and then place was made for him +between Hetta's usual seat and the table. For when there he would +read out loud. On the other side, close also to the table, sat the +widow, busy, but not savagely busy as her elder daughter. Between +Mrs. Bell and the wall, with her feet ever on the fender, Susan used +to sit; not absolutely idle, but doing work of some slender pretty +sort, and talking ever and anon to her mother. Opposite to them +all, at the other side of the table, far away from the fire, would +Aaron Dunn place himself with his plans and drawings before him. + +"Are you a judge of bridges, ma'am?" said Aaron, the evening after +he had made his resolution. 'Twas thus he began his courtship. + +"Of bridges?" said Mrs. Bell--"oh dear no, sir." But she put out +her hand to take the little drawing which Aaron handed to her. + +"Because that's one I've planned for our bit of a new branch from +Moreau up to Lake George. I guess Miss Susan knows something about +bridges." + +"I guess I don't," said Susan--"only that they oughtn't to tumble +down when the frost comes." + +"Ha, ha, ha; no more they ought. I'll tell McEvoy that." McEvoy +had been a former engineer on the line. "Well, that won't burst +with any frost, I guess." + +"Oh my! how pretty!" said the widow, and then Susan of course jumped +up to look over her mother's shoulder. + +The artful dodger! he had drawn and coloured a beautiful little +sketch of a bridge; not an engineer's plan with sections and +measurements, vexatious to a woman's eye, but a graceful little +bridge with a string of cars running under it. You could almost +hear the bell going. + +"Well; that is a pretty bridge," said Susan. "Isn't it, Hetta?" + +"I don't know anything about bridges," said Hetta, to whose clever +eyes the dodge was quite apparent. But in spite of her cleverness +Mrs. Bell and Susan had soon moved their chairs round to the table, +and were looking through the contents of Aaron's portfolio. "But +yet he may be a wolf," thought the poor widow, just as she was +kneeling down to say her prayers. + +That evening certainly made a commencement. Though Hetta went on +pertinaciously with the body of a new dress, the other two ladies +did not put in another stitch that night. From his drawings Aaron +got to his instruments, and before bedtime was teaching Susan how to +draw parallel lines. Susan found that she had quite an aptitude for +parallel lines, and altogether had a good time of it that evening. +It is dull to go on week after week, and month after month, talking +only to one's mother and sister. It is dull though one does not +oneself recognise it to be so. A little change in such matters is +so very pleasant. Susan had not the slightest idea of regarding +Aaron as even a possible lover. But young ladies do like the +conversation of young gentlemen. Oh, my exceedingly proper prim old +lady, you who are so shocked at this as a general doctrine, has it +never occurred to you that the Creator has so intended it? + +Susan understanding little of the how and why, knew that she had had +a good time, and was rather in spirits as she went to bed. But +Hetta had been frightened by the dodge. + +"Oh, Hetta, you should have looked at those drawings. He is so +clever!" said Susan. + +"I don't know that they would have done me much good," replied +Hetta. + +"Good! Well, they'd do me more good than a long sermon, I know," +said Susan; "except on a Sunday, of course," she added +apologetically. This was an ill-tempered attack both on Hetta and +Hetta's admirer. But then why had Hetta been so snappish? + +"I'm sure he's a wolf;" thought Hetta as she went to bed. + +"What a very clever young man he is!" thought Susan to herself as +she pulled the warm clothes round about her shoulders and ears. + +"Well that certainly was an improvement," thought Aaron as he went +through the same operation, with a stronger feeling of self- +approbation than he had enjoyed for some time past. + +In the course of the next fortnight the family arrangements all +altered themselves. Unless when Beckard was there Aaron would sit +in the widow's place, the widow would take Susan's chair, and the +two girls would be opposite. And then Dunn would read to them; not +sermons, but passages from Shakspeare, and Byron, and Longfellow. +"He reads much better than Mr. Beckard," Susan had said one night. +"Of course you're a competent judge!" had been Hetta's retort. "I +mean that I like it better," said Susan. "It's well that all people +don't think alike," replied Hetta. + +And then there was a deal of talking. The widow herself, as +unconscious in this respect as her youngest daughter, certainly did +find that a little variety was agreeable on those long winter +nights; and talked herself with unaccustomed freedom. And Beckard +came there oftener and talked very much. When he was there the two +young men did all the talking, and they pounded each other +immensely. But still there grew up a sort of friendship between +them. + +"Mr. Beckard seems quite to take to him," said Mrs. Bell to her +eldest daughter. + +"It is his great good nature, mother," replied Hetta. + +It was at the end of the second month when Aaron took another step +in advance--a perilous step. Sometimes on evenings he still went on +with his drawing for an hour or so; but during three or four +evenings he never asked any one to look at what he was doing. On +one Friday he sat over his work till late, without any reading or +talking at all; so late that at last Mrs. Bell said, "If you're +going to sit much longer, Mr. Dunn, I'll get you to put out the +candles." Thereby showing, had he known it or had she, that the +mother's confidence in the young man was growing fast. Hetta knew +all about it, and dreaded that the growth was too quick. + +"I've finished now," said Aaron; and he looked carefully at the +cardboard on which he had been washing in his water-colours. "I've +finished now." He then hesitated a moment; but ultimately he put +the card into his portfolio and carried it up to his bedroom. Who +does not perceive that it was intended as a present to Susan Bell? + +The question which Aaron asked himself that night, and which he +hardly knew how to answer, was this. Should he offer the drawing to +Susan in the presence of her mother and sister, or on some occasion +when they two might be alone together? No such occasion had ever +yet occurred, but Aaron thought that it might probably be brought +about. But then he wanted to make no fuss about it. His first +intention had been to chuck the drawing lightly across the table +when it was completed, and so make nothing of it. But he had +finished it with more care than he had at first intended; and then +he had hesitated when he had finished it. It was too late now for +that plan of chucking it over the table. + +On the Saturday evening when he came down from his room, Mr. Beckard +was there, and there was no opportunity that night. On the Sunday, +in conformity with a previous engagement, he went to hear Mr. +Beckard preach, and walked to and from meeting with the family. +This pleased Mrs. Bell, and they were all very gracious that +afternoon. But Sunday was no day for the picture. + +On Monday the thing had become of importance to him. Things always +do when they are kept over. Before tea that evening when he came +down Mrs. Bell and Susan only were in the room. He knew Hetta for +his foe, and therefore determined to use this occasion. + +"Miss Susan," he said, stammering somewhat, and blushing too, poor +fool! "I have done a little drawing which I want you to accept," +and he put his portfolio down on the table. + +"Oh! I don't know," said Susan, who had seen the blush. + +Mrs. Bell had seen the blush also, and pursed her mouth up, and +looked grave. Had there been no stammering and no blush, she might +have thought nothing of it. + +Aaron saw at once that his little gift was not to go down smoothly. +He was, however, in for it now, so he picked it out from among the +other papers in the case and brought it over to Susan. He +endeavoured to hand it to her with an air of indifference, but I +cannot say that he succeeded. + +It was a very pretty, well-finished, water-coloured drawing, +representing still the same bridge, but with more adjuncts. In +Susan's eyes it was a work of high art. Of pictures probably she +had seen but little, and her liking for the artist no doubt added to +her admiration. But the more she admired it and wished for it, the +stronger was her feeling that she ought not to take it. + +Poor Susan! she stood for a minute looking at the drawing, but she +said nothing; not even a word of praise. She felt that she was red +in the face, and uncourteous to their lodger; but her mother was +looking at her and she did not know how to behave herself. + +Mrs. Bell put out her hand for the sketch, trying to bethink herself +as she did so in what least uncivil way she could refuse the +present. She took a moment to look at it collecting her thoughts, +and as she did so her woman's wit came to her aid. + +"Oh dear, Mr. Dunn, it is very pretty; quite a beautiful picture. I +cannot let Susan rob you of that. You must keep that for some of +your own particular friends." + +"But I did it for her," said Aaron innocently. + +Susan looked down at the ground, half pleased at the declaration. +The drawing would look very pretty in a small gilt frame put over +her dressing-table. But the matter now was altogether in her +mother's hands. + +"I am afraid it is too valuable, sir, for Susan to accept." + +"It is not valuable at all," said Aaron, declining to take it back +from the widow's hand. + +"Oh, I am quite sure it is. It is worth ten dollars at least--or +twenty," said poor Mrs. Bell, not in the very best taste. But she +was perplexed, and did not know how to get out of the scrape. The +article in question now lay upon the table-cloth, appropriated by no +one, and at this moment Hetta came into the room. + +"It is not worth ten cents," said Aaron, with something like a frown +on his brow. "But as we had been talking about the bridge, I +thought Miss Susan would accept it." + +"Accept what?" said Hetta. And then her eye fell upon the drawing +and she took it up. + +"It is beautifully done," said Mrs. Bell, wishing much to soften the +matter; perhaps the more so that Hetta the demure was now present. +"I am telling Mr. Dunn that we can't take a present of anything so +valuable." + +"Oh dear no," said Hetta. "It wouldn't be right." + +It was a cold frosty evening in March, and the fire was burning +brightly on the hearth. Aaron Dunn took up the drawing quietly-- +very quietly--and rolling it up, as such drawings are rolled, put it +between the blazing logs. It was the work of four evenings, and his +chef-d'oeuvre in the way of art. + +Susan, when she saw what he had done, burst out into tears. The +widow could very readily have done so also, but she was able to +refrain herself, and merely exclaimed--"Oh, Mr. Dunn!" + +"If Mr. Dunn chooses to burn his own picture, he has certainly a +right to do so," said Hetta. + +Aaron immediately felt ashamed of what he had done; and he also +could have cried, but for his manliness. He walked away to one of +the parlour-windows, and looked out upon the frosty night. It was +dark, but the stars were bright, and he thought that he should like +to be walking fast by himself along the line of rails towards +Balston. There he stood, perhaps for three minutes. He thought it +would be proper to give Susan time to recover from her tears. + +"Will you please to come to your tea, sir?" said the soft voice of +Mrs. Bell. + +He turned round to do so, and found that Susan was gone. It was not +quite in her power to recover from her tears in three minutes. And +then the drawing had been so beautiful! It had been done expressly +for her too! And there had been something, she knew not what, in +his eye as he had so declared. She had watched him intently over +those four evenings' work, wondering why he did not show it, till +her feminine curiosity had become rather strong. It was something +very particular, she was sure, and she had learned that all that +precious work had been for her. Now all that precious work was +destroyed. How was it possible that she should not cry for more +than three minutes? + +The others took their meal in perfect silence, and when it was over +the two women sat down to their work. Aaron had a book which he +pretended to read, but instead of reading he was bethinking himself +that he had behaved badly. What right had he to throw them all into +such confusion by indulging in his passion? He was ashamed of what +he had done, and fancied that Susan would hate him. Fancying that, +he began to find at the same time that he by no means hated her. + +At last Hetta got up and left the room. She knew that her sister +was sitting alone in the cold, and Hetta was affectionate. Susan +had not been in fault, and therefore Hetta went up to console her. + +"Mrs. Bell," said Aaron, as soon as the door was closed, "I beg your +pardon for what I did just now." + +"Oh, sir, I'm so sorry that the picture is burnt," said poor Mrs. +Bell. + +"The picture does not matter a straw," said Aaron. "But I see that +I have disturbed you all,--and I am afraid I have made Miss Susan +unhappy." + +"She was grieved because your picture was burnt," said Mrs. Bell, +putting some emphasis on the "your," intending to show that her +daughter had not regarded the drawing as her own. But the emphasis +bore another meaning; and so the widow perceived as soon as she had +spoken. + +"Oh, I can do twenty more of the same if anybody wanted them," said +Aaron. "If I do another like it, will you let her take it, Mrs. +Bell?--just to show that you have forgiven me, and that we are +friends as we were before?" + +Was he, or was he not a wolf? That was the question which Mrs. Bell +scarcely knew how to answer. Hetta had given her voice, saying he +was lupine. Mr. Beckard's opinion she had not liked to ask +directly. Mr. Beckard she thought would probably propose to Hetta; +but as yet he had not done so. And, as he was still a stranger in +the family, she did not like in any way to compromise Susan's name. +Indirectly she had asked the question, and, indirectly also, Mr. +Beckard's answer had been favourable. + +"But it mustn't mean anything, sir," was the widow's weak answer, +when she had paused on the question for a moment. + +"Oh no, of course not," said Aaron, joyously, and his face became +radiant and happy. "And I do beg your pardon for burning it; and +the young ladies' pardon too." And then he rapidly got out his +cardboard, and set himself to work about another bridge. The widow, +meditating many things in her heart, commenced the hemming of a +handkerchief. + +In about an hour the two girls came back to the room and silently +took their accustomed places. Aaron hardly looked up, but went on +diligently with his drawing. This bridge should be a better bridge +than that other. Its acceptance was now assured. Of course it was +to mean nothing. That was a matter of course. So he worked away +diligently, and said nothing to anybody. + +When they went off to bed the two girls went into the mother's room. +"Oh, mother, I hope he is not very angry," said Susan. + +"Angry!" said Hetta, "if anybody should be angry, it is mother. He +ought to have known that Susan could not accept it. He should never +have offered it." + +"But he's doing another," said Mrs. Bell. + +"Not for her," said Hetta. + +"Yes he is," said Mrs. Bell, "and I have promised that she shall +take it." Susan as she heard this sank gently into the chair behind +her, and her eyes became full of tears. The intimation was almost +too much for her. + +"Oh, mother!" said Hetta. + +"But I particularly said that it was to mean nothing." + +"Oh, mother, that makes it worse." + +Why should Hetta interfere in this way, thought Susan to herself. +Had she interfered when Mr. Beckard gave Hetta a testament bound in +Morocco? had not she smiled, and looked gratified, and kissed her +sister, and declared that Phineas Beckard was a nice dear man, and +by far the most elegant preacher at the Springs? Why should Hetta +be so cruel? + +"I don't see that, my dear," said the mother. Hetta would not +explain before her sister, so they all went to bed. + +On the Thursday evening the drawing was finished. Not a word had +been said about it, at any rate in his presence, and he had gone on +working in silence. "There," said he, late on the Thursday evening, +"I don't know that it will be any better if I go on daubing for +another hour. There, Miss Susan; there's another bridge. I hope +that will neither burst with the frost, nor yet be destroyed by +fire," and he gave it a light flip with his fingers and sent it +skimming over the table. + +Susan blushed and smiled, and took it up. "Oh, it is beautiful," +she said. "Isn't it beautifully done, mother?" and then all the +three got up to look at it, and all confessed that it was +excellently done. + +"And I am sure we are very much obliged to you," said Susan after a +pause, remembering that she had not yet thanked him. + +"Oh, it's nothing," said he, not quite liking the word "we." On the +following day he returned from his work to Saratoga about noon. +This he had never done before, and therefore no one expected that he +would be seen in the house before the evening. On this occasion, +however, he went straight thither, and as chance would have it, both +the widow and her elder daughter were out. Susan was there alone in +charge of the house. + +He walked in and opened the parlour door. There she sat, with her +feet on the fender, with her work unheeded on the table behind her, +and the picture, Aaron's drawing, lying on her knees. She was +gazing at it intently as he entered, thinking in her young heart +that it possessed all the beauties which a picture could possess. + +"Oh, Mr. Dunn," she said, getting up and holding the telltale sketch +behind the skirt of her dress. + +"Miss Susan, I have come here to tell your mother that I must start +for New York this afternoon and be there for six weeks, or perhaps +longer." + +"Mother is out," said she; "I'm so sorry." + +"Is she?" said Aaron. + +"And Hetta too. Dear me. And you'll be wanting dinner. I'll go +and see about it." + +Aaron began to swear that he could not possibly eat any dinner. He +had dined once, and was going to dine again;--anything to keep her +from going. + +"But you must have something, Mr. Dunn," and she walked towards the +door. + +But he put his back to it. "Miss Susan," said he, "I guess I've +been here nearly two months." + +"Yes, sir, I believe you have," she replied, shaking in her shoes, +and not knowing which way to look. + +"And I hope we have been good friends." + +"Yes, sir," said Susan, almost beside herself as to what she was +saying. + +"I'm going away now, and it seems to be such a time before I'll be +back." + +"Will it, Sir?" + +"Six weeks, Miss Susan!" and then he paused, looking into her eyes, +to see what he could read there. She leant against the table, +pulling to pieces a morsel of half-ravelled muslin which she held in +her hand; but her eyes were turned to the ground, and he could +hardly see them. + +"Miss Susan," he continued, "I may as well speak out now as at +another time." He too was looking towards the ground, and clearly +did not know what to do with his hands. "The truth is just this. +I--I love you dearly, with all my heart. I never saw any one I ever +thought so beautiful, so nice, and so good;--and what's more, I +never shall. I'm not very good at this sort of thing, I know; but I +couldn't go away from Saratoga for six weeks and not tell you." And +then he ceased. He did not ask for any love in return. His +presumption had not got so far as that yet. He merely declared his +passion, leaning against the door, and there he stood twiddling his +thumbs. + +Susan had not the slightest conception of the way in which she ought +to receive such a declaration. She had never had a lover before; +nor had she ever thought of Aaron absolutely as a lover, though +something very like love for him had been crossing over her spirit. +Now, at this moment, she felt that he was the beau-ideal of manhood, +though his boots were covered with the railway mud, and though his +pantaloons were tucked up in rolls round his ankles. He was a fine, +well-grown, open-faced fellow, whose eye was bold and yet tender, +whose brow was full and broad, and all his bearing manly. Love him! +Of course she loved him. Why else had her heart melted with +pleasure when her mother said that that second picture was to be +accepted? + +But what was she to say? Anything but the open truth; she well knew +that. The open truth would not do at all. What would her mother +say and Hetta if she were rashly to say that? Hetta, she knew, +would be dead against such a lover, and of her mother's approbation +she had hardly more hope. Why they should disapprove of Aaron as a +lover she had never asked herself. There are many nice things that +seem to be wrong only because they are so nice. Maybe that Susan +regarded a lover as one of them. "Oh, Mr. Dunn, you shouldn't." +That in fact was all that she could say. + +"Should not I?" said he. "Well, perhaps not; but there's the truth, +and no harm ever comes of that. Perhaps I'd better not ask you for +an answer now, but I thought it better you should know it all. And +remember this--I only care for one thing now in the world, and that +is for your love." And then he paused, thinking possibly that in +spite of what he had said he might perhaps get some sort of an +answer, some inkling of the state of her heart's disposition towards +him. + +But Susan had at once resolved to take him at his word when he +suggested that an immediate reply was not necessary. To say that +she loved him was of course impossible, and to say that she did not +was equally so. She determined therefore to close at once with the +offer of silence. + +When he ceased speaking there was a moment's pause, during which he +strove hard to read what might be written on her down-turned face. +But he was not good at such reading. "Well, I guess I'll go and get +my things ready now," he said, and then turned round to open the +door. + +"Mother will be in before you are gone, I suppose," said Susan. + +"I have only got twenty minutes," said he, looking at his watch. +"But, Susan, tell her what I have said to you. Goodbye." And he +put out his hand. He knew he should see her again, but this had +been his plan to get her hand in his. + +"Good-bye, Mr. Dunn," and she gave him her hand. + +He held it tight for a moment, so that she could not draw it away,-- +could not if she would. "Will you tell your mother?" he asked. + +"Yes," she answered, quite in a whisper. "I guess I'd better tell +her." And then she gave a long sigh. He pressed her hand again and +got it up to his lips. + +"Mr. Dunn, don't," she said. But he did kiss it. "God bless you, +my own dearest, dearest girl! I'll just open the door as I come +down. Perhaps Mrs. Bell will be here." And then he rushed up +stairs. + +But Mrs. Bell did not come in. She and Hetta were at a weekly +service at Mr. Beckard's meeting-house, and Mr. Beckard it seemed +had much to say. Susan, when left alone, sat down and tried to +think. But she could not think; she could only love. She could use +her mind only in recounting to herself the perfections of that +demigod whose heavy steps were so audible overhead, as he walked to +and fro collecting his things and putting them into his bag. + +And then, just when he had finished, she bethought herself that he +must be hungry. She flew to the kitchen, but she was too late. +Before she could even reach at the loaf of bread he descended the +stairs, with a clattering noise, and heard her voice as she spoke +quickly to Kate O'Brien. + +"Miss Susan," he said, "don't get anything for me, for I'm off." + +"Oh, Mr. Dunn, I am so sorry. You'll be so hungry on your journey," +and she came out to him in the passage. + +"I shall want nothing on the journey, dearest, if you'll say one +kind word to me." + +Again her eyes went to the ground. "What do you want me to say, Mr. +Dunn?" + +"Say, God bless you, Aaron." + +"God bless you, Aaron," said she; and yet she was sure that she had +not declared her love. He however thought otherwise, and went up to +New York with a happy heart. + +Things happened in the next fortnight rather quickly. Susan at once +resolved to tell her mother, but she resolved also not to tell +Hetta. That afternoon she got her mother to herself in Mrs. Bell's +own room, and then she made a clean breast of it. + +"And what did you say to him, Susan?" + +"I said nothing, mother." + +"Nothing, dear!" + +"No, mother; not a word. He told me he didn't want it." She forgot +how she had used his Christian name in bidding God bless him. + +"Oh dear!" said the widow. + +"Was it very wrong?" asked Susan. + +"But what do you think yourself, my child?" asked Mrs. Bell after a +while. "What are your own feelings." + +Mrs. Bell was sitting on a chair and Susan was standing opposite to +her against the post of the bed. She made no answer, but moving +from her place, she threw herself into her mother's arms, and hid +her face on her mother's shoulder. It was easy enough to guess what +were her feelings. + +"But, my darling," said her mother, "you must not think that it is +an engagement." + +"No," said Susan, sorrowfully. + +"Young men say those things to amuse themselves." Wolves, she would +have said, had she spoken out her mind freely. + +"Oh, mother, he is not like that." + +The daughter contrived to extract a promise from the mother that +Hetta should not be told just at present. Mrs. Bell calculated that +she had six weeks before her; as yet Mr. Beckard had not spoken out, +but there was reason to suppose that he would do so before those six +weeks would be over, and then she would be able to seek counsel from +him. + +Mr. Beckard spoke out at the end of six days, and Hetta frankly +accepted him. "I hope you'll love your brother-in-law," said she to +Susan. + +"Oh, I will indeed," said Susan; and in the softness of her heart at +the moment she almost made up her mind to tell; but Hetta was full +of her own affairs, and thus it passed off. + +It was then arranged that Hetta should go and spend a week with Mr. +Beckard's parents. Old Mr. Beckard was a farmer living near Utica, +and now that the match was declared and approved, it was thought +well that Hetta should know her future husband's family. So she +went for a week, and Mr. Beckard went with her. "He will be back in +plenty of time for me to speak to him before Aaron Dunn's six weeks +are over," said Mrs. Bell to herself. + +But things did not go exactly as she expected. On the very morning +after the departure of the engaged couple, there came a letter from +Aaron, saying that he would be at Saratoga that very evening. The +railway people had ordered him down again for some days' special +work; then he was to go elsewhere, and not to return to Saratoga +till June. "But he hoped," so said the letter, "that Mrs. Bell +would not turn him into the street even then, though the summer +might have come, and her regular lodgers might be expected." + +"Oh dear, oh dear!" said Mrs. Bell to herself, reflecting that she +had no one of whom she could ask advice, and that she must decide +that very day. Why had she let Mr. Beckard go without telling him? +Then she told Susan, and Susan spent the day trembling. Perhaps, +thought Mrs. Bell, he will say nothing about it. In such case, +however, would it not be her duty to say something? Poor mother! +She trembled nearly as much as Susan. + +It was dark when the fatal knock came at the door. The tea-things +were already laid, and the tea-cake was already baked; for it would +at any rate be necessary to give Mr. Dunn his tea. Susan, when she +heard the knock, rushed from her chair and took refuge up stairs. +The widow gave a long sigh and settled her dress. Kate O'Brien with +willing step opened the door, and bade her old friend welcome. + +"How are the ladies?" asked Aaron, trying to gather something from +the face and voice of the domestic. + +"Miss Hetta and Mr. Beckard be gone off to Utica, just man-and-wife +like! and so they are, more power to them." + +"Oh indeed; I'm very glad," said Aaron--and so he was; very glad to +have Hetta the demure out of the way. And then he made his way into +the parlour, doubting much, and hoping much. + +Mrs. Bell rose from her chair, and tried to look grave. Aaron +glancing round the room saw that Susan was not there. He walked +straight up to the widow, and offered her his hand, which she took. +It might be that Susan had not thought fit to tell, and in such case +it would not be right for him to compromise her; so he said never a +word. + +But the subject was too important to the mother to allow of her +being silent when the young man stood before her. "Oh, Mr. Dunn," +said she, "what is this you have been saying to Susan?" + +"I have asked her to be my wife," said he, drawing himself up and +looking her full in the face. Mrs. Bell's heart was almost as soft +as her daughter's, and it was nearly gone; but at the moment she had +nothing to say but, "Oh dear, oh dear!" + +"May I not call you mother?" said he, taking both her hands in his. + +"Oh dear--oh dear! But will you be good to her? Oh, Aaron Dunn, if +you deceive my child!" + +In another quarter of an hour, Susan was kneeling at her mother's +knee, with her face on her mother's lap; the mother was wiping tears +out of her eyes; and Aaron was standing by holding one of the +widow's hands. + +"You are my mother too, now," said he. What would Hetta and Mr. +Beckard say, when they came back? But then he surely was not a +wolf! + +There were four or five days left for courtship before Hetta and Mr. +Beckard would return; four or five days during which Susan might be +happy, Aaron triumphant, and Mrs. Bell nervous. Days I have said, +but after all it was only the evenings that were so left. Every +morning Susan got up to give Aaron his breakfast, but Mrs. Bell got +up also. Susan boldly declared her right to do so, and Mrs. Bell +found no objection which she could urge. + +But after that Aaron was always absent till seven or eight in the +evening, when he would return to his tea. Then came the hour or two +of lovers' intercourse. + +But they were very tame, those hours. The widow still felt an +undefined fear that she was wrong, and though her heart yearned to +know that her daughter was happy in the sweet happiness of accepted +love, yet she dreaded to be too confident. Not a word had been said +about money matters; not a word of Aaron Dunn's relatives. So she +did not leave them by themselves, but waited with what patience she +could for the return of her wise counsellors. + +And then Susan hardly knew how to behave herself with her accepted +suitor. She felt that she was very happy; but perhaps she was most +happy when she was thinking about him through the long day, +assisting in fixing little things for his comfort, and waiting for +his evening return. And as he sat there in the parlour, she could +be happy then too, if she were but allowed to sit still and look at +him,--not stare at him, but raise her eyes every now and again to +his face for the shortest possible glance, as she had been used to +do ever since he came there. + +But he, unconscionable lover, wanted to hear her speak, was desirous +of being talked to, and perhaps thought that he should by rights be +allowed to sit by her, and hold her hand. No such privileges were +accorded to him. If they had been alone together, walking side by +side on the green turf, as lovers should walk, she would soon have +found the use of her tongue,--have talked fast enough no doubt. +Under such circumstances, when a girl's shyness has given way to +real intimacy, there is in general no end to her power of chatting. +But though there was much love between Aaron and Susan, there was as +yet but little intimacy. And then, let a mother be ever so +motherly--and no mother could have more of a mother's tenderness +than Mrs. Bell--still her presence must be a restraint. Aaron was +very fond of Mrs. Bell; but nevertheless he did sometimes wish that +some domestic duty would take her out of the parlour for a few happy +minutes. Susan went out very often, but Mrs. Bell seemed to be a +fixture. + +Once for a moment he did find his love alone, immediately as he came +into the house. "My own Susan, you do love me? do say so to me +once." And he contrived to slip his arm round her waist. "Yes," +she whispered; but she slipped like an eel from his hands, and left +him only preparing himself for a kiss. And then when she got to her +room, half frightened, she clasped her hands together, and bethought +herself that she did really love him with a strength and depth of +love which filled her whole existence. Why could she not have told +him something of all this? + +And so the few days of his second sojourn at Saratoga passed away, +not altogether satisfactorily. It was settled that he should return +to New York on Saturday night, leaving Saratoga on that evening; and +as the Beckards--Hetta was already regarded quite as a Beckard--were +to be back to dinner on that day, Mrs. Bell would have an +opportunity of telling her wondrous tale. It might be well that Mr. +Beckard should see Aaron before his departure. + +On that Saturday the Beckards did arrive just in time for dinner. +It may be imagined that Susan's appetite was not very keen, nor her +manner very collected. But all this passed by unobserved in the +importance attached to the various Beckard arrangements which came +under discussion. Ladies and gentlemen circumstanced as were Hetta +and Mr. Beckard are perhaps a little too apt to think that their own +affairs are paramount. But after dinner Susan vanished at once, and +when Hetta prepared to follow her, desirous of further talk about +matrimonial arrangements, her mother stopped her, and the disclosure +was made. + +"Proposed to her!" said Hetta, who perhaps thought that one marriage +in a family was enough at a time. + +"Yes, my love--and he did it, I must say, in a very honourable way, +telling her not to make any answer till she had spoken to me;--now +that was very nice; was it not, Phineas?" Mrs. Bell had become very +anxious that Aaron should not be voted a wolf. + +"And what has been said to him since?" asked the discreet Phineas. + +"Why--nothing absolutely decisive." Oh, Mrs. Bell! "You see I know +nothing as to his means." + +"Nothing at all," said Hetta. + +"He is a man that will always earn his bread," said Mr. Beckard; and +Mrs. Bell blessed him in her heart for saying it. + +"But has he been encouraged?" asked Hetta. + +"Well; yes, he has," said the widow. + +"Then Susan I suppose likes him?" asked Phineas. + +"Well; yes, she does," said the widow. And the conference ended in +a resolution that Phineas Beckard should have a conversation with +Aaron Dunn, as to his worldly means and position; and that he, +Phineas, should decide whether Aaron might, or might not be at once +accepted as a lover, according to the tenor of that conversation. +Poor Susan was not told anything of all this. "Better not," said +Hetta the demure. "It will only flurry her the more." How would +she have liked it, if without consulting her, they had left it to +Aaron to decide whether or no she might marry Phineas? + +They knew where on the works Aaron was to be found, and thither Mr. +Beckard rode after dinner. We need not narrate at length the +conference between the young men. Aaron at once declared that he +had nothing but what he made as an engineer, and explained that he +held no permanent situation on the line. He was well paid at that +present moment, but at the end of summer he would have to look for +employment. + +"Then you can hardly marry quite at present," said the discreet +minister. + +"Perhaps not quite immediately." + +"And long engagements are never wise," said the other. + +"Three or four months," suggested Aaron. But Mr. Beckard shook his +head. + +The afternoon at Mrs. Bell's house was melancholy. The final +decision of the three judges was as follows. There was to be no +engagement; of course no correspondence. Aaron was to be told that +it would be better that he should get lodgings elsewhere when he +returned; but that he would be allowed to visit at Mrs. Bell's +house,--and at Mrs. Beckard's, which was very considerate. If he +should succeed in getting a permanent appointment, and if he and +Susan still held the same mind, why then--&c. &c. Such was Susan's +fate, as communicated to her by Mrs. Bell and Hetta. She sat still +and wept when she heard it; but she did not complain. She had +always felt that Hetta would be against her. + +"Mayn't I see him, then?" she said through her tears. + +Hetta thought she had better not. Mrs. Bell thought she might. +Phineas decided that they might shake hands, but only in full +conclave. There was to be no lovers' farewell. Aaron was to leave +the house at half-past five; but before he went Susan should be +called down. Poor Susan! She sat down and bemoaned herself; +uncomplaining, but very sad. + +Susan was soft, feminine, and manageable. But Aaron Dunn was not +very soft, was especially masculine, and in some matters not easily +manageable. When Mr. Beckard in the widow's presence--Hetta had +retired in obedience to her lover--informed him of the court's +decision, there came over his face the look which he had worn when +he burned the picture. "Mrs. Bell," he said, "had encouraged his +engagement; and he did not understand why other people should now +come and disturb it." + +"Not an engagement, Aaron," said Mrs. Bell piteously. + +"He was able and willing to work," he said, "and knew his +profession. What young man of his age had done better than he had?" +and he glanced round at them with perhaps more pride than was quite +becoming. + +Then Mr. Beckard spoke out, very wisely no doubt, but perhaps a +little too much at length. Sons and daughters, as well as fathers +and mothers, will know very well what he said; so I need not repeat +his words. I cannot say that Aaron listened with much attention, +but he understood perfectly what the upshot of it was. Many a man +understands the purport of many a sermon without listening to one +word in ten. Mr. Beckard meant to be kind in his manner; indeed was +so, only that Aaron could not accept as kindness any interference on +his part. + +"I'll tell you what, Mrs. Bell," said he. "I look upon myself as +engaged to her. And I look on her as engaged to me. I tell you so +fairly; and I believe that's her mind as well as mine." + +"But, Aaron, you won't try to see her--or to write to her,--not in +secret; will you?" + +"When I try to see her, I'll come and knock at this door; and if I +write to her, I'll write to her full address by the post. I never +did and never will do anything in secret." + +"I know you're good and honest," said the widow with her +handkerchief to her eyes. + +"Then why do you separate us?" asked he, almost roughly. "I suppose +I may see her at any rate before I go. My time's nearly up now, I +guess." + +And then Susan was called for, and she and Hetta came down together. +Susan crept in behind her sister. Her eyes were red with weeping, +and her appearance was altogether disconsolate. She had had a lover +for a week, and now she was to be robbed of him. + +"Good-bye, Susan," said Aaron, and he walked up to her without +bashfulness or embarrassment. Had they all been compliant and +gracious to him he would have been as bashful as his love; but now +his temper was hot. "Good-bye, Susan," and she took his hand, and +he held hers till he had finished. "And remember this, I look upon +you as my promised wife, and I don't fear that you'll deceive me. +At any rate I shan't deceive you." + +"Good-bye, Aaron," she sobbed. + +"Good-bye, and God bless you, my own darling!" And then without +saying a word to any one else, he turned his back upon them and went +his way. + +There had been something very consolatory, very sweet, to the poor +girl in her lover's last words. And yet they had almost made her +tremble. He had been so bold, and stern, and confident. He had +seemed so utterly to defy the impregnable discretion of Mr. Beckard, +so to despise the demure propriety of Hetta. But of this she felt +sure, when she came to question her heart, that she could never, +never, never cease to love him better than all the world beside. +She would wait--patiently if she could find patience--and then, if +he deserted her, she would die. + +In another month Hetta became Mrs. Beckard. Susan brisked up a +little for the occasion, and looked very pretty as bridesmaid. She +was serviceable too in arranging household matters, hemming linen +and sewing table-cloths; though of course in these matters she did +not do a tenth of what Hetta did. + +Then the summer came, the Saratoga summer of July, August, and +September, during which the widow's house was full; and Susan's +hands saved the pain of her heart, for she was forced into +occupation. Now that Hetta was gone to her own duties, it was +necessary that Susan's part in the household should be more +prominent. + +Aaron did not come back to his work at Saratoga. Why he did not +they could not then learn. During the whole long summer they heard +not a word of him nor from him; and then when the cold winter months +came and their boarders had left them, Mrs. Beckard congratulated +her sister in that she had given no further encouragement to a lover +who cared so little for her. This was very hard to bear. But Susan +did bear it. + +That winter was very sad. They learned nothing of Aaron Dunn till +about January; and then they heard that he was doing very well. He +was engaged on the Erie trunk line, was paid highly, and was much +esteemed. And yet he neither came nor sent! "He has an excellent +situation," their informant told them. "And a permanent one?" asked +the widow. "Oh, yes, no doubt," said the gentleman, "for I happen +to know that they count greatly on him." And yet he sent no word of +love. + +After that the winter became very sad indeed. Mrs. Bell thought it +to be her duty now to teach her daughter that in all probability she +would see Aaron Dunn no more. It was open to him to leave her +without being absolutely a wolf. He had been driven from the house +when he was poor, and they had no right to expect that he would +return, now that he had made some rise in the world. "Men do amuse +themselves in that way," the widow tried to teach her. + +"He is not like that, mother," she said again. + +"But they do not think so much of these things as we do," urged the +mother. + +"Don't they?" said Susan, oh, so sorrowfully; and so through the +whole long winter months she became paler and paler, and thinner and +thinner. + +And then Hetta tried to console her with religion, and that perhaps +did not make things any better. Religious consolation is the best +cure for all griefs; but it must not be looked for specially with +regard to any individual sorrow. A religious man, should he become +bankrupt through the misfortunes of the world, will find true +consolation in his religion even for that sorrow. But a bankrupt, +who has not thought much of such things, will hardly find solace by +taking up religion for that special occasion. + +And Hetta perhaps was hardly prudent in her attempts. She thought +that it was wicked in Susan to grow thin and pale for love of Aaron +Dunn, and she hardly hid her thoughts. Susan was not sure but that +it might be wicked, but this doubt in no way tended to make her +plump or rosy. So that in those days she found no comfort in her +sister. + +But her mother's pity and soft love did ease her sufferings, though +it could not make them cease. Her mother did not tell her that she +was wicked, or bid her read long sermons, or force her to go oftener +to the meeting-house. + +"He will never come again, I think," she said one day, as with a +shawl wrapped around her shoulders, she leant with her head upon her +mother's bosom. + +"My own darling," said the mother, pressing her child closely to her +side. + +"You think he never will, eh, mother?" What could Mrs. Bell say? +In her heart of hearts she did not think he ever would come again. + +"No, my child. I do not think he will." And then the hot tears ran +down, and the sobs came thick and frequent. + +"My darling, my darling!" exclaimed the mother; and they wept +together. + +"Was I wicked to love him at the first," she asked that night. + +"No, my child; you were not wicked at all. At least I think not." + +"Then why--" Why was he sent away? It was on her tongue to ask +that question; but she paused and spared her mother. This was as +they were going to bed. The next morning Susan did not get up. She +was not ill, she said; but weak and weary. Would her mother let her +lie that day? And then Mrs. Bell went down alone to her room, and +sorrowed with all her heart for the sorrow of her child. Why, oh +why, had she driven away from her door-sill the love of an honest +man? + +On the next morning Susan again did not get up;--nor did she hear, +or if she heard she did not recognise, the step of the postman who +brought a letter to the door. Early, before the widow's breakfast, +the postman came, and the letter which he brought was as follows:- + + +"MY DEAR MRS. BELL, + +"I have now got a permanent situation on the Erie line, and the +salary is enough for myself and a wife. At least I think so, and I +hope you will too. I shall be down at Saratoga to-morrow evening, +and I hope neither Susan nor you will refuse to receive me. + +"Yours affectionately, + +"AARON DUNN." + + +That was all. It was very short, and did not contain one word of +love; but it made the widow's heart leap for joy. She was rather +afraid that Aaron was angry, he wrote so curtly and with such a +brusque business-like attention to mere facts; but surely he could +have but one object in coming there. And then he alluded specially +to a wife. So the widow's heart leapt with joy. + +But how was she to tell Susan? She ran up stairs almost breathless +with haste, to the bedroom door; but then she stopped; too much joy +she had heard was as dangerous as too much sorrow; she must think it +over for a while, and so she crept back again. + +But after breakfast--that is, when she had sat for a while over her +teacup--she returned to the room, and this time she entered it. The +letter was in her hand, but held so as to be hidden;--in her left +hand as she sat down with her right arm towards the invalid. + +"Susan dear," she said, and smiled at her child, "you'll be able to +get up this morning? eh, dear?" + +"Yes, mother," said Susan, thinking that her mother objected to this +idleness of her lying in bed. And so she began to bestir herself. + +"I don't mean this very moment, love. Indeed, I want to sit with +you for a little while," and she put her right arm affectionately +round her daughter's waist. + +"Dearest mother," said Susan. + +"Ah! there's one dearer than me, I guess," and Mrs. Bell smiled +sweetly, as she made the maternal charge against her daughter. + +Susan raised herself quickly in the bed, and looked straight into +her mother's face. "Mother, mother," she said, "what is it? You've +something to tell. Oh, mother!" And stretching herself over, she +struck her hand against the corner of Aaron's letter. "Mother, +you've a letter. Is he coming, mother?" and with eager eyes and +open lips, she sat up, holding tight to her mother's arm. + +"Yes, love. I have got a letter." + +"Is he--is he coming?" + +How the mother answered, I can hardly tell; but she did answer, and +they were soon lying in each other's arms, warm with each other's +tears. It was almost hard to say which was the happier. + +Aaron was to be there that evening--that very evening. "Oh, mother, +let me get up," said Susan. + +But Mrs. Bell said no, not yet; her darling was pale and thin, and +she almost wished that Aaron was not coming for another week. What +if he should come and look at her, and finding her beauty gone, +vanish again and seek a wife elsewhere! + +So Susan lay in bed, thinking of her happiness, dozing now and +again, and fearing as she waked that it was a dream, looking +constantly at that drawing of his, which she kept outside upon the +bed, nursing her love and thinking of it, and endeavouring, vainly +endeavouring, to arrange what she would say to him. + +"Mother," she said, when Mrs. Bell once went up to her, "you won't +tell Hetta and Phineas, will you? Not to-day, I mean?" Mrs. Bell +agreed that it would be better not to tell them. Perhaps she +thought that she had already depended too much on Hetta and Phineas +in the matter. + +Susan's finery in the way of dress had never been extensive, and now +lately, in these last sad winter days, she had thought but little of +the fashion of her clothes. But when she began to dress herself for +the evening, she did ask her mother with some anxiety what she had +better wear. "If he loves you he will hardly see what you have on," +said the mother. But not the less was she careful to smooth her +daughter's hair, and make the most that might be made of those faded +roses. + +How Susan's heart beat,--how both their hearts beat as the hands of +the clock came round to seven! And then, sharp at seven, came the +knock; that same short bold ringing knock which Susan had so soon +learned to know as belonging to Aaron Dunn. "Oh mother, I had +better go up stairs," she cried, starting from her chair. + +"No dear; you would only be more nervous." + +"I will, mother." + +"No, no, dear; you have not time;" and then Aaron Dunn was in the +room. + +She had thought much what she would say to him, but had not yet +quite made up her mind. It mattered however but very little. On +whatever she might have resolved, her resolution would have vanished +to the wind. Aaron Dunn came into the room, and in one second she +found herself in the centre of a whirlwind, and his arms were the +storms that enveloped her on every side. + +"My own, own darling girl," he said over and over again, as he +pressed her to his heart, quite regardless of Mrs. Bell, who stood +by, sobbing with joy. "My own Susan." + +"Aaron, dear Aaron," she whispered. But she had already recognised +the fact that for the present meeting a passive part would become +her well, and save her a deal of trouble. She had her lover there +quite safe, safe beyond anything that Mr. or Mrs. Beckard might have +to say to the contrary. She was quite happy; only that there were +symptoms now and again that the whirlwind was about to engulf her +yet once more. + +"Dear Aaron, I am so glad you are come," said the innocent-minded +widow, as she went up stairs with him, to show him his room; and +then he embraced her also. "Dear, dear mother," he said. + +On the next day there was, as a matter of course, a family conclave. +Hetta and Phineas came down, and discussed the whole subject of the +coming marriage with Mrs. Bell. Hetta at first was not quite +certain;--ought they not to inquire whether the situation was +permanent? + +"I won't inquire at all," said Mrs. Bell, with an energy that +startled both the daughter and son-in-law. "I would not part them +now; no, not if--" and the widow shuddered as she thought of her +daughter's sunken eyes, and pale cheeks. + +"He is a good lad," said Phineas, "and I trust she will make him a +sober steady wife;" and so the matter was settled. + +During this time, Susan and Aaron were walking along the Balston +road; and they also had settled the matter--quite as satisfactorily. + +Such was the courtship of Susan Dunn. + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg Etext of The Courtship of Susan Bell, by Trollope + diff --git a/old/crtsb10.zip b/old/crtsb10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3b9fb52 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/crtsb10.zip |