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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Moll Flanders, by Daniel Defoe
+#1 in our series by Daniel Defoe
+
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+
+Title: Moll Flanders
+
+Author: Daniel Defoe
+
+Release Date: December, 1995 [EBook #370]
+[This file was last updated on March 5, 2003]
+
+Edition: 11
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MOLL FLANDERS ***
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+The Fortunes & Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders &c.
+
+Who was Born in Newgate, and during a Life of
+continu'd Variety for Threescore Years, besides her
+Childhood, was Twelve Year a Whore, five times a
+Wife (whereof once to her own Brother), Twelve Year
+a Thief, Eight Year a Transported Felon in Virginia,
+at last grew Rich, liv'd Honest, and dies a Penitent.
+Written from her own Memorandums . . .
+
+by Daniel Defoe
+
+
+
+
+THE AUTHOR'S PREFACE
+
+The world is so taken up of late with novels and romances,
+that it will be hard for a private history to be taken for genuine,
+where the names and other circumstances of the person are
+concealed, and on this account we must be content to leave
+the reader to pass his own opinion upon the ensuing sheet,
+and take it just as he pleases.
+
+The author is here supposed to be writing her own history,
+and in the very beginning of her account she gives the reasons
+why she thinks fit to conceal her true name, after which there
+is no occasion to say any more about that.
+
+It is true that the original of this story is put into new words,
+and the style of the famous lady we here speak of is a little
+altered; particularly she is made to tell her own tale in modester
+words that she told it at first, the copy which came first to
+hand having been written in language more like one still in
+Newgate than one grown penitent and humble, as she
+afterwards pretends to be.
+
+The pen employed in finishing her story, and making it what
+you now see it to be, has had no little difficulty to put it into
+a dress fit to be seen, and to make it speak language fit to be
+read.  When a woman debauched from her youth, nay, even
+being the offspring of debauchery and vice, comes to give an
+account of all her vicious practices, and even to descend to the
+particular occasions and circumstances by which she ran through
+in threescore years, an author must be hard put to it wrap it
+up so clean as not to give room, especially for vicious readers,
+to turn it to his disadvantage.
+
+All possible care, however, has been taken to give no lewd
+ideas, no immodest turns in the new dressing up of this story;
+no, not to the worst parts of  her expressions.  To this purpose
+some of the vicious part of her life, which could not be
+modestly told, is quite left out, and several other parts are
+very much shortened.  What is left 'tis hoped will not offend
+the chastest reader or the modest hearer; and as the best use
+is made even of the worst story, the moral 'tis hoped will keep
+the reader serious, even where the story might incline him to
+be otherwise.  To give the history of a wicked life repented of,
+necessarily requires that the wicked part should be make as
+wicked as the real history of it will bear, to illustrate and give
+a beauty to the penitent part, which is certainly the best and
+brightest, if related with equal spirit and life.
+
+It is suggested there cannot be the same life, the same brightness
+and beauty, in relating the penitent part as is in the criminal
+part.  If there is any truth in that suggestion, I must be allowed
+to say 'tis because there is not the same taste and relish in the
+reading, and indeed it is to true that the difference lies not in
+the real worth of the subject so much as in the gust and palate
+of the reader.
+
+But as this work is chiefly recommended to those who know
+how to read it, and how to make the good uses of it which the
+story all along recommends to them, so it is to be hoped that
+such readers will be more leased with the moral than the fable,
+with the application than with the relation, and with the end
+of the writer than with the life of the person written of.
+
+There is in this story abundance of delightful incidents, and
+all of them usefully applied.  There is an agreeable turn artfully
+given them in the relating, that naturally instructs the reader,
+either one way or other.  The first part of her lewd life with the
+young gentleman at Colchester has so many happy turns given
+it to expose the crime, and warn all whose circumstances are
+adapted to it, of the ruinous end of such things, and the foolish,
+thoughtless, and abhorred conduct of both the parties, that it
+abundantly atones for all the lively description she gives of her
+folly and wickedness.
+
+The repentance of her lover at the Bath, and how brought by
+the just alarm of his fit of sickness to abandon her; the just
+caution given there against even the lawful intimacies of the
+dearest friends, and how unable they are to preserve the most
+solemn resolutions of virtue without divine assistance; these
+are parts which, to a just discernment, will appear to have
+more real beauty in them all the amorous chain of story which
+introduces it.
+
+In a word, as the whole relation is carefully garbled of all the
+levity and looseness that was in it, so it all applied, and with
+the utmost care, to virtuous and religious uses.  None can,
+without being guilty of manifest injustice, cast any reproach
+upon it, or upon our design in publishing it.
+
+The advocates for the stage have, in all ages, made this the
+great argument to persuade people that their plays are useful,
+and that they ought to be allowed in the most civilised and in
+the most religious government; namely, that they are applied
+to virtuous purposes, and that by the most lively representations,
+they fail not to recommend virtue and generous principles, and
+to discourage and expose all sorts of vice and corruption of
+manners; and were it true that they did so, and that they
+constantly adhered to that rule, as the test of their acting on
+the theatre, much might be said in their favour.
+
+Throughout the infinite variety of this book, this fundamental
+is most strictly adhered to; there is not a wicked action in any
+part of it, but is first and last rendered unhappy and unfortunate;
+there is not a superlative villain brought upon the stage, but
+either he is brought to an unhappy end, or brought to be a
+penitent; there is not an ill thing mentioned but it is condemned,
+even in the relation, nor a virtuous, just thing but it carries its
+praise along with it.  What can more exactly answer the rule
+laid down, to recommend even those representations of things
+which have so many other just objections leaving against them?
+namely, of example, of bad company, obscene language, and
+the like.
+
+Upon this foundation this book is recommended to the reader
+as a work from every part of which something may be learned,
+and some just and religious inference is drawn, by which the
+reader will have something of instruction, if he pleases to make
+use of it.
+
+All the exploits of this lady of fame, in her depredations upon
+mankind, stand as so many warnings to honest people to
+beware of them, intimating to them by what methods innocent
+people are drawn in, plundered and robbed, and by consequence
+how to avoid them.  Her robbing a little innocent child, dressed
+fine by the vanity of the mother, to go to the dancing-school,
+is a good memento to such people hereafter, as is likewise her
+picking the gold watch from the young lady's side in the Park.
+
+Her getting a parcel from a hare-brained wench at the coaches
+in St. John Street; her booty made at the fire, and again at
+Harwich, all give us excellent warnings in such cases to be
+more present to ourselves in sudden surprises of every sort.
+
+Her application to a sober life and industrious management at
+last in Virginia, with her transported spouse, is a story fruitful
+of instruction to all the unfortunate creatures who are obliged
+to seek their re-establishment abroad, whether by the misery
+of transportation or other disaster; letting them know that
+diligence and application have their due encouragement, even
+in the remotest parts of the world, and that no case can be so
+low, so despicable, or so empty of  prospect, but that an
+unwearied industry will go a great way to deliver us from it,
+will in time raise the meanest creature to appear again the
+world, and give him a new case for his life.
+
+There are a few of the serious inferences which we are led
+by the hand to in this book, and these are fully sufficient to
+justify any man in recommending it to the world, and much
+more to justify the publication of it.
+
+There are two of the most beautiful parts still behind, which
+this story gives some idea of, and lets us into the parts of them,
+but they are either of them too long to be brought into the same
+volume, and indeed are, as I may call them, whole volumes of
+themselves, viz.: 1. The life of her governess, as she calls her,
+who had run through, it seems, in a few years, all the eminent
+degrees of a gentlewoman, a whore, and a bawd; a midwife
+and a midwife-keeper, as they are called; a pawnbroker, a
+childtaker, a receiver of thieves, and of thieves' purchase,
+that is to say, of stolen goods; and in a word, herself a thief,
+a breeder up of thieves and the like, and yet at last a penitent.
+
+The second is the life of her transported husband, a highwayman,
+who it seems, lived a twelve years' life of successful villainy
+upon the road, and even at last came off so well as to be a
+volunteer transport, not a convict; and in whose life there is
+an incredible variety.
+
+But, as I have said, these are things too long to bring in here,
+so neither can I make a promise of the coming out by
+themselves.
+
+We cannot say, indeed, that this history is carried on quite to
+the end of the life of this famous Moll Flanders, as she calls
+herself, for nobody can write their own life to the full end of it,
+unless they can write it after they are dead.  But her husband's
+life, being written by a third hand, gives a full account of them
+both, how long they lived together in that country, and how
+they both came to England again, after about eight years, in
+which time they were grown very rich, and where she lived,
+it seems, to be very old, but was not so extraordinary a penitent
+as she was at first; it seems only that indeed she always spoke
+with abhorrence of her former life, and of every part of it.
+
+In her last scene, at Maryland and Virginia, many pleasant
+things happened, which makes that part of her life very
+agreeable, but they are not told with the same elegancy as those
+accounted for by herself; so it is still to the more advantage that
+we break off here.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+My true name is so well known in the records or registers
+at Newgate, and in the Old Bailey, and there are some things
+of such consequence still depending there, relating to my
+particular conduct, that it is not be expected I should set my
+name or the account of my family to this work; perhaps, after
+my death, it may be better known; at present it would not be
+proper, no not though a general pardon should be issued, even
+without exceptions and reserve of persons or crimes.
+
+It is enough to tell you, that as some of my worst comrades,
+who are out of the way of doing me harm (having gone out of
+the world by the steps and the string, as I often expected to go ),
+knew me by the name of Moll Flanders, so you may give me
+leave to speak of myself under that name till I dare own who
+I have been, as well as who I am.
+
+I have been told that in one of neighbour nations, whether it
+be in France or where else I know not, they have an order from
+the king, that when any criminal is condemned, either to die,
+or to the galleys, or to be transported, if they leave any children,
+as such are generally unprovided for, by the poverty or forfeiture
+of their parents, so they are immediately taken into the care of
+the Government, and put into a hospital called the House of
+Orphans, where they are bred up, clothed, fed, taught, and
+when fit to go out, are placed out to trades or to services, so
+as to be well able to provide for themselves by an honest,
+industrious behaviour.
+
+Had this been the custom in our country, I had not been left
+a poor desolate girl without friends, without clothes, without
+help or helper in the world, as was my fate; and by which I
+was not only exposed to very great distresses, even before I
+was capable either of understanding my case or how to amend
+it, but brought into a course of life which was not only scandalous
+in itself, but which in its ordinary course tended to the swift
+destruction both of soul and body.
+
+But the case was otherwise here.  My mother was convicted
+of felony for a certain petty theft scarce worth naming, viz.
+having an opportunity of borrowing three pieces of fine holland
+of a certain draper in Cheapside.  The circumstances are too
+long to repeat, and I have heard them related so many ways,
+that I can scarce be certain which is the right account.
+
+However it was, this they all agree in, that my mother pleaded
+her belly, and being found quick with child, she was respited
+for about seven months; in which time having brought me into
+the world, and being about again, she was called down, as they
+term it, to her former judgment, but obtained the favour of
+being transported to the plantations, and left me about half a
+year old; and in bad hands, you may be sure.
+
+This is too near the first hours of my life for me to relate
+anything of myself but by hearsay; it is enough to mention,
+that as I was born in such an unhappy place, I had no parish
+to have recourse to for my nourishment in my infancy; nor
+can I give the least account how I was kept alive, other than
+that, as I have been told, some relation of my mother's took
+me away for a while as a nurse, but at whose expense, or by
+whose direction, I know nothing at all of it.
+
+The first account that I can recollect, or could ever learn of
+myself, was that I had wandered among a crew of those people
+they call gypsies, or Egyptians; but I believe it was but a very
+little while that I had been among them, for I had not had my
+skin discoloured or blackened, as they do very young to all the
+children they carry about with them; nor can I tell how I came
+among them, or how I got from them.
+
+It was at Colchester, in Essex, that those people left me; and
+I have a notion in my head that I left them there (that is, that
+I hid myself and would not go any farther with them), but I am
+not able to be particular in that account; only this I remember,
+that being taken up by some of the parish officers of Colchester,
+I gave an account that I came into the town with the gypsies,
+but that I would not go any farther with them, and that so they
+had left me, but whither they were gone that I knew not, nor
+could they expect it of me; for though they send round the
+country to inquire after them, it seems they could not be found.
+
+I was now in a way to be provided for; for though I was not a
+parish charge upon this or that part of the town by law, yet as
+my case came to be known, and that I was too young to do any
+work, being not above three years old, compassion moved the
+magistrates of the town to order some care to be taken of me,
+and I became one of their own as much as if I had been born
+in the place.
+
+In the provision they made for me, it was my good hap to be
+put to nurse, as they call it, to a woman who was indeed poor
+but had been in better circumstances, and who got a little
+livelihood by taking such as I was supposed to be, and keeping
+them with all necessaries, till they were at a certain age, in
+which it might be supposed they might go to service or get
+their own bread.
+
+This woman had also had a little school, which she kept to
+teach children to read and to work; and having, as I have said,
+lived before that in good fashion, she bred up the children she
+took with a great deal of art, as well as with a great deal of care.
+
+But that which was worth all the rest, she bred them up very
+religiously, being herself a very sober, pious woman, very house-
+wifely and clean, and very mannerly, and with good behaviour.
+So that in a word, expecting a plain diet, coarse lodging, and
+mean clothes, we were brought up as mannerly and as genteelly
+as if we had been at the dancing-school.
+
+I was continued here till I was eight years old, when I was
+terrified with news that the magistrates (as I think they called
+them) had ordered that I should go to service.  I was able to
+do but very little service wherever I was to go, except it was
+to run of errands and be a drudge to some cookmaid, and this
+they told me of often, which put me into a great fright; for I
+had a thorough aversion to going to service, as they called it
+(that is, to be a servant), though I was so young; and I told my
+nurse, as we called her, that I believed I could get my living
+without going to service, if she pleased to let me; for she had
+taught me to work with my needle, and spin worsted, which
+is the chief trade of that city, and I told her that if she would
+keep me, I would work for her, and I would work very hard.
+
+I talked to her almost every day of working hard; and, in short,
+I did nothing but work and cry all day, which grieved the good,
+kind woman so much, that at last she began to be concerned
+for me, for she loved me very well.
+
+One day after this, as she came into the room where all we
+poor children were at work, she sat down just over against me,
+not in her usual place as mistress, but as if she set herself on
+purpose to observe me and see me work.  I was doing something
+she had set me to; as I remember, it was marking some shirts
+which she had taken to make, and after a while she began to
+talk to me.  'Thou foolish child,' says she, 'thou art always
+crying (for I was crying then); 'prithee, what dost cry for?'
+'Because they will take me away,' says I, 'and put me to service,
+and I can't work housework.'  'Well, child,' says she, 'but
+though you can't work housework, as you call it, you will learn
+it in time, and they won't put you to hard things at first.'  'Yes,
+they will,' says I, 'and if I can't do it they will beat me, and the
+maids will beat me to make me do great work, and I am but a
+little girl and I can't do it'; and then I cried again, till I could
+not speak any more to her.
+
+This moved my good motherly nurse, so that she from that
+time resolved I should not go to service yet; so she bid me not
+cry, and she would speak to Mr. Mayor, and I should not go to
+service till I was bigger.
+
+Well, this did not satisfy me, for to think of going to service
+was such a frightful thing to me, that if she had assured me I
+should not have gone till I was twenty years old, it would have
+been the same to me; I should have cried, I believe, all the
+time, with the very apprehension of its being to be so at last.
+
+When she saw that I was not pacified yet, she began to be
+angry with me.  'And what would you have?' says she; 'don't
+I tell you that you shall not go to service till your are bigger?'
+'Ay,' said I, 'but then I must go at last.'  'Why, what?' said she;
+'is the girl mad?  What would you be -- a gentlewoman?'
+'Yes,' says I, and cried heartily till I roared out again.
+
+This set the old gentlewoman a-laughing at me, as you may be
+sure it would.  'Well, madam, forsooth,' says she, gibing at me,
+'you would be a gentlewoman; and pray how will you come to
+be a gentlewoman?  What! will you do it by your fingers' end?'
+
+'Yes,' says I again, very innocently.
+
+'Why, what can you earn?' says she; 'what can you get at your
+work?'
+
+'Threepence,' said I, 'when I spin, and fourpence when I work
+plain work.'
+
+'Alas! poor gentlewoman,' said she again, laughing, 'what will
+that do for thee?'
+
+'It will keep me,' says I, 'if you will let me live with you.'  And
+this I said in such a poor petitioning tone, that it made the poor
+woman's heart yearn to me, as she told me afterwards.
+
+'But,' says she, 'that will not keep you and buy you clothes
+too; and who must buy the little gentlewoman clothes?' says
+she, and smiled all the while at me.
+
+'I will work harder, then,' says I, 'and you shall have it all.'
+
+'Poor child! it won't keep you,' says she; 'it will hardly keep
+you in victuals.'
+
+'Then I will have no victuals,' says I, again very innocently;
+'let me but live with you.'
+
+'Why, can you live without victuals?' says she.
+
+'Yes,' again says I, very much like a child, you may be sure,
+and still I cried heartily.
+
+I had no policy in all this; you may easily see it was all nature;
+but it was joined with so much innocence and so much passion
+that, in short, it set the good motherly creature a-weeping too,
+and she cried at last as fast as I did, and then took me and led
+me out of the teaching-room.  'Come,' says she, 'you shan't
+go to service; you shall live with me'; and this pacified me
+for the present.
+
+Some time after this, she going to wait on the Mayor, and
+talking of such things as belonged to her business, at last my
+story came up, and my good nurse told Mr. Mayor the whole
+tale.  He was so pleased with it, that he would call his lady
+and his two daughters to hear it, and it made mirth enough
+among them, you may be sure.
+
+However, not a week had passed over, but on a sudden comes
+Mrs. Mayoress and her two daughters to the house to see my
+old nurse, and to see her school and the children.  When they
+had looked about them a little, 'Well, Mrs. ----,' says the
+Mayoress to my nurse, 'and pray which is the little lass that
+intends to be a gentlewoman?'  I heard her, and I was terribly
+frighted at first, though I did not know why neither; but Mrs.
+Mayoress comes up to me.  'Well, miss,' says she, 'and what
+are you at work upon?'  The word miss was a language that
+had hardly been heard of in our school, and I wondered what
+sad name it was she called me.  However, I stood up, made a
+curtsy, and she took my work out of my hand, looked on it,
+and said it was very well; then she took up one of the hands.
+'Nay,' says she, 'the child may come to be a gentlewoman for
+aught anybody knows; she has a gentlewoman's hand,' says she.
+This pleased me mightily, you may be sure; but Mrs. Mayoress
+did not stop there, but giving me my work again, she put her
+hand in her pocket, gave me a shilling, and bid me mind my
+work, and learn to work well, and I might be a gentlewoman
+for aught she knew.
+
+Now all this while my good old nurse, Mrs. Mayoress, and all
+the rest of them did not understand me at all, for they meant
+one sort of thing by the word gentlewoman, and I meant quite
+another; for alas! all I understood by being a gentlewoman was
+to be able to work for myself, and get enough to keep me
+without that terrible bugbear going to service, whereas they
+meant to live great, rich and high, and I know not what.
+
+Well, after Mrs. Mayoress was gone, her two daughters came
+in, and they called for the gentlewoman too, and they talked
+a long while to me, and I answered them in my innocent way;
+but always, if they asked me whether I resolved to be a
+gentlewoman, I answered Yes.  At last one of them asked me
+what a gentlewoman was?  That puzzled me much; but,
+however, I explained myself negatively, that it was one that
+did not go to service, to do housework.  They were pleased
+to be familiar with me, and like my little prattle to them, which,
+it seems, was agreeable enough to them, and they gave me
+money too.
+
+As for my money, I gave it all to my mistress-nurse, as I called
+her, and told her she should have all I got for myself when I
+was a gentlewoman, as well as now.  By this and some other
+of my talk, my old tutoress began to understand me about what
+I meant by being a gentlewoman, and that I understood by it
+no more than to be able to get my bread by my own work; and
+at last she asked me whether it was not so.
+
+I told her, yes, and insisted on it, that to do so was to be a
+gentlewoman; 'for,' says I, 'there is such a one,' naming a
+woman that mended lace and washed the ladies' laced-heads;
+'she,' says I, 'is a gentlewoman, and they call her madam.'
+
+"Poor child,' says my good old nurse, 'you may soon be such
+a gentlewoman as that, for she is a person of ill fame, and has
+had two or three bastards.'
+
+I did not understand anything of that; but I answered, 'I am
+sure they call her madam, and she does not go to service nor
+do housework'; and therefore I insisted that she was a
+gentlewoman, and I would be such a gentlewoman as that.
+
+The ladies were told all this again, to be sure, and they made
+themselves merry with it, and every now and then the young
+ladies, Mr. Mayor's daughters, would come and see me, and
+ask where the little gentlewoman was, which made me not a
+little proud of myself.
+
+This held a great while, and I was often visited by these young
+ladies, and sometimes they brought others with them; so that I
+was known by it almost all over the town.
+
+I was now about ten years old, and began to look a little
+womanish, for I was mighty grave and humble, very mannerly,
+and as I had often heard the ladies say I was pretty, and would
+be a very handsome woman, so you may be sure that hearing
+them say so made me not a little proud.  However, that pride
+had no ill effect upon me yet; only, as they often gave me
+money, and I gave it to my old nurse, she, honest woman,
+was so just to me as to lay it all out again for me, and gave
+me head-dresses, and linen, and gloves, and ribbons, and I
+went very neat, and always clean; for that I would do, and if
+I had rags on, I would always be clean, or else I would dabble
+them in water myself; but, I say, my good nurse, when I had
+money given me, very honestly laid it out for me, and would
+always tell the ladies this or that was bought with their money;
+and this made them oftentimes give me more, till at last I was
+indeed called upon by the magistrates, as I understood it, to
+go out to service; but then I was come to be so good a
+workwoman myself, and the ladies were so kind to me, that it
+was plain I could maintain myself--that is to say, I could earn
+as much for my nurse as she was able by it to keep me--so she
+told them that if they would give her leave, she would keep
+the gentlewoman, as she called me, to be her assistant and
+teach the children, which I was very well able to do; for I was
+very nimble at my work, and had a good hand with my needle,
+though I was yet very young.
+
+But the kindness of the ladies of the town did not end here,
+for when they came to understand that I was no more maintained
+by the public allowance as before, they gave me money oftener
+than formerly; and as I grew up they brought me work to do
+for them, such as linen to make, and laces to mend, and heads
+to dress up, and not only paid me for doing them, but even
+taught me how to do them; so that now I was a gentlewoman
+indeed, as I understood that word, I not only found myself
+clothes and paid my nurse for my keeping, but got money in
+my pocket too beforehand.
+
+The ladies also gave me clothes frequently of their own or
+their children's; some stockings, some petticoats, some gowns,
+some one thing, some another, and these my old woman
+managed for me like a mere mother, and kept them for me,
+obliged me to mend them, and turn them and twist them to
+the best advantage, for she was a rare housewife.
+
+At last one of the ladies took so much fancy to me that she
+would have me home to her house, for a month, she said, to
+be among her daughters.
+
+Now, though this was exceeding kind in her, yet, as my old
+good woman said to her, unless she resolved to keep me for
+good and all, she would do the little gentlewoman more harm
+than good.  'Well,' says the lady, 'that's true; and therefore I'll
+only take her home for a week, then, that I may see how my
+daughters and she agree together, and how I like her temper,
+and then I'll tell you more; and in the meantime, if anybody
+comes to see her as they used to do, you may only tell them
+you have sent her out to my house.'
+
+This was prudently managed enough, and I went to the lady's
+house; but I was so pleased there with the young ladies, and
+they so pleased with me, that I had enough to do to come away,
+and they were as unwilling to part with me.
+
+However, I did come away, and lived almost a year more with
+my honest old woman, and began now to be very helpful to
+her; for I was almost fourteen years old, was tall of my age,
+and looked a little womanish; but I had such a taste of genteel
+living at the lady's house that I was not so easy in my old
+quarters as I used to be, and I thought it was fine to be a
+gentlewoman indeed, for I had quite other notions of a
+gentlewoman now than I had before; and as I thought, I say,
+that it was fine to be a gentlewoman, so I loved to be among
+gentlewomen, and therefore I longed to be there again.
+
+About the time that I was fourteen years and a quarter old,
+my good nurse, mother I rather to call her, fell sick and died.
+I was then in a sad condition indeed, for as there is no great
+bustle in putting an end to a poor body's family when once
+they are carried to the grave, so the poor good woman being
+buried, the parish children she kept were immediately removed
+by the church-wardens; the school was at an end, and the
+children of it had no more to do but just stay at home till they
+were sent somewhere else; and as for what she left, her daughter,
+a married woman with six or seven children, came and swept
+it all away at once, and removing the goods, they had no more
+to say to me than to jest with me, and tell me that the little
+gentlewoman might set up for herself if she pleased.
+
+I was frighted out of my wits almost, and knew not what to do,
+for I was, as it were, turned out of doors to the wide world, and
+that which was still worse, the old honest woman had two-and-
+twenty shillings of mine in her hand, which was all the estate the
+little gentlewoman had in the world; and when I asked the
+daughter for it, she huffed me and laughed at me, and told me
+she had nothing to do with it.
+
+It was true the good, poor woman had told her daughter of it,
+and that it lay in such a place, that it was the child's money,
+and  had called once or twice for me to give it me, but I was,
+unhappily, out of the way somewhere or other, and when I
+came back she was past being in a condition to speak of it.
+However, the daughter was so honest afterwards as to give it
+me, though at first she used me cruelly about it.
+
+Now was I a poor gentlewoman indeed, and I was just that
+very night to be turned into the wide world; for the daughter
+removed all the goods, and I had not so much as a lodging to
+go to, or a bit of bread to eat.  But it seems some of the neighbours,
+who had known my circumstances, took so much compassion
+of me as to acquaint the lady in whose family I had been a week,
+as I mentioned above; and immediately she sent her maid to
+fetch me away, and two of her daughters came with the maid
+though unsent.  So I went with them, bag and baggage, and
+with a glad heart, you may be sure.  The fright of my condition
+had made such an impression upon me, that I did not want now
+to be a gentlewoman, but was very willing to be a servant, and
+that any kind of servant they thought fit to have me be.
+
+But my new generous mistress, for she exceeded the good
+woman I was with before, in everything, as well as in the
+matter of estate; I say, in everything except honesty; and for
+that, though this was a lady most exactly just, yet I must not
+forget to say on all occasions, that the first, though poor, was
+as uprightly honest as it was possible for any one to be.
+
+I was no sooner carried away, as I have said, by this good
+gentlewoman, but the first lady, that is to say, the Mayoress
+that was, sent her two daughters to take care of me; and another
+family which had taken notice of me when I was the little
+gentlewoman, and had given me work to do, sent for me after
+her, so that I was mightily made of, as we say; nay, and they
+were not a little angry, especially madam the Mayoress, that
+her friend had taken me away from her, as she called it; for,
+as she said, I was hers by right, she having been the first that
+took any notice of me.  But they that had me would not part
+with me; and as for me, though I should have been very well
+treated with any of the others, yet I could not be better than
+where I was.
+
+Here I continued till I was between seventeen and eighteen
+years old, and here I had all the advantages for my education
+that could be imagined; the lady had masters home to the
+house to teach her daughters to dance, and to speak French,
+and to write, and other to teach them music; and I was always
+with them, I learned as fast as they; and though the masters
+were not appointed to teach me, yet I learned by imitation and
+inquiry all that they learned by instruction and direction; so
+that, in short, I learned to dance and speak French as well as
+any of them, and to sing much better, for I had a better voice
+than any of them.  I could not so readily come at playing on
+the harpsichord or spinet, because I had no instrument of my
+own to practice on, and could only come at theirs in the intervals
+when they left it, which was uncertain; but yet I learned tolerably
+well too, and the young ladies at length got two instruments,
+that is to say, a harpsichord and a spinet too, and then they
+taught me themselves.  But as to dancing, they could hardly
+help my learning country-dances, because they always wanted
+me to make up even number; and, on the other hand, they were
+as heartily willing to learn me everything that they had been
+taught themselves, as I could be to take the learning.
+
+By this means I had, as I have said above, all the advantages
+of education that I could have had if I had been as much a
+gentlewoman as they were with whom I lived; and in some
+things I had the advantage of my ladies, though they were my
+superiors; but they were all the gifts of nature, and which all
+their fortunes could not furnish.  First, I was apparently
+handsomer than any of them; secondly, I was better shaped;
+and, thirdly, I sang better, by which I mean I had a better voice;
+in all which you will, I hope, allow me to say, I do not speak
+my own conceit of myself, but the opinion of all that knew
+the family.
+
+I had with all these the common vanity of my sex, viz. that
+being really taken for very handsome, or, if you please, for a
+great beauty, I very well knew it, and had as good an opinion
+of myself as anybody else could have of me; and particularly
+I loved to hear anybody speak of it, which could not but happen
+to me sometimes, and was a great satisfaction to me.
+
+Thus far I have had a smooth story to tell of myself, and in all
+this part of my life I not only had the reputation of living in a
+very good family, and a family noted and respected everywhere
+for virtue and sobriety, and for every valuable thing; but I had
+the character too of a very sober, modest, and virtuous young
+woman, and such I had always been; neither had I yet any
+occasion to think of anything else, or to know what a temptation
+to wickedness meant.
+
+But that which I was too vain of was my ruin, or rather my
+vanity was the cause of it.  The lady in the house where I was
+had two sons, young gentlemen of very promising parts and
+of extraordinary behaviour, and it was my misfortune to be
+very well with them both, but they managed themselves with
+me in a quite different manner.
+
+The eldest, a gay gentleman that knew the town as well as the
+country, and though he had levity enough to do an ill-natured
+thing, yet had too much judgment of things to pay too dear
+for his pleasures; he began with the unhappy snare to all
+women, viz. taking notice upon all occasions how pretty I was,
+as he called it, how agreeable, how well-carriaged, and the
+like; and this he contrived so subtly, as if he had known as
+well how to catch a woman in his net as a partridge when he
+went a-setting; for he would contrive to be talking this to his
+sisters when, though I was not by, yet when he knew I was
+not far off but that I should be sure to hear him.  His sisters
+would return softly to him, 'Hush, brother, she will hear you;
+she is but in the next room.'  Then he would put it off and talk
+softlier, as if he had not know it, and begin to acknowledge he
+was wrong; and then, as if he had forgot himself, he would
+speak aloud again, and I, that was so well pleased to hear it,
+was sure to listen for it upon all occasions.
+
+After he had thus baited his hook, and found easily enough
+the method how to lay it in my way, he played an opener game;
+and one day, going by his sister's chamber when I was there,
+doing something about dressing her, he comes in with an air
+of gaiety.  'Oh, Mrs. Betty,' said he to me, 'how do you do,
+Mrs. Betty?  Don't your cheeks burn, Mrs. Betty?'  I made a
+curtsy and blushed, but said nothing.  'What makes you talk so,
+brother?' says the lady.  'Why,' says he, 'we have been talking
+of her below-stairs this half-hour.'  'Well,' says his sister,
+'you can say no harm of her, that I am sure, so 'tis no matter
+what you have been talking about.' 'Nay,' says he, ''tis so far
+from talking harm of her, that we have been talking a great
+deal of good, and a great many fine things have been said of
+Mrs. Betty, I assure you; and particularly, that she is the
+handsomest young woman in Colchester; and, in short, they
+begin to toast her health in the town.'
+
+'I wonder at you, brother,' says the sister.  'Betty wants but one
+thing, but she had as good want everything, for the market is
+against our sex just now; and if a young woman have beauty,
+birth, breeding, wit, sense, manners, modesty, and all these to
+an extreme, yet if she have not money, she's nobody, she had
+as good want them all for nothing but money now recommends
+a woman; the men play the game all into their own hands.'
+
+Her younger brother, who was by, cried, 'Hold, sister, you run
+too fast; I am an exception to your rule.  I assure you, if I find
+a woman so accomplished as you talk of, I say, I assure you, I
+would not trouble myself about the money.'
+
+'Oh,' says the sister, 'but you will take care not to fancy one,
+then, without the money.'
+
+'You don't know that neither,' says the brother.
+
+'But why, sister,' says the elder brother, 'why do you exclaim
+so at the men for aiming so much at the fortune?  You are none
+of them that want a fortune, whatever else you want.'
+
+'I understand you, brother,' replies the lady very smartly; 'you
+suppose I have the money, and want the beauty; but as times
+go now, the first will do without the last, so I have the better
+of my neighbours.'
+
+'Well,' says the younger brother, 'but your neighbours, as you
+call them, may be even with you, for beauty will steal a husband
+sometimes in spite of money, and when the maid chances to be
+handsomer than the mistress, she oftentimes makes as good a
+market, and rides in a coach before her.'
+
+I thought it was time for me to withdraw and leave them, and
+I did so, but not so far but that I heard all their discourse, in
+which I heard abundance of the fine things said of myself,
+which served to prompt my vanity, but, as I soon found, was
+not the way to increase my interest in the family, for the sister
+and the younger brother fell grievously out about it; and as he
+said some very disobliging things to her upon my account, so
+I could easily see that she resented them by her future conduct
+to me, which indeed was very unjust to me, for I had never
+had the least thought of what she suspected as to her younger
+brother; indeed, the elder brother, in his distant, remote way,
+had said a great many things as in jest, which I had the folly
+to believe were in earnest, or to flatter myself with the hopes
+of what I ought to have supposed he never intended, and
+perhaps never thought of.
+
+It happened one day that he came running upstairs, towards
+the room where his sisters used to sit and work, as he often
+used to do; and calling to them before he came in, as was his
+way too, I, being there alone, stepped to the door, and said,
+'Sir, the ladies are not here, they are walked down the garden.'
+As I stepped forward to say this, towards the door, he was just
+got to the door, and clasping me in his arms, as if it had been
+by chance, 'Oh, Mrs. Betty,' says he, 'are you here?  That's
+better still; I want to speak with you more than I do with them';
+and then, having me in his arms, he kissed me three or four times.
+
+I struggled to get away, and yet did it but faintly neither, and
+he held me fast, and still kissed me, till he was almost out of
+breath, and then, sitting down, says, 'Dear Betty, I am in love
+with you.'
+
+His words, I must confess, fired my blood; all my spirits flew
+about my heart and put me into disorder enough, which he
+might easily have seen in my face.  He repeated it afterwards
+several times, that he was in love with me, and my heart spoke
+as plain as a voice, that I liked it; nay, whenever he said, 'I am
+in love with you,' my blushes plainly replied, 'Would you
+were, sir.'
+
+However, nothing else passed at that time; it was but a sur-
+prise, and when he was gone I soon recovered myself again.
+He had stayed longer with me, but he happened to look out
+at the window and see his sisters coming up the garden, so
+he took his leave, kissed me again, told me he was very serious,
+and I should hear more of him very quickly, and away he went,
+leaving me infinitely pleased, though surprised; and had there
+not been one misfortune in it, I had been in the right, but the
+mistake lay here, that Mrs. Betty was in earnest and the
+gentleman was not.
+
+From this time my head ran upon strange things, and I may
+truly say I was not myself; to have such a gentleman talk to
+me of being in love with me, and of my being such a charming
+creature, as he told me I was; these were things I knew not
+how to bear, my vanity was elevated to the last degree.  It is
+true I had my head full of pride, but, knowing nothing of the
+wickedness of the times, I had not one thought of my own
+safety or of my virtue about me; and had my young master
+offered it at first sight, he might have taken any liberty he
+thought fit with me; but he did not see his advantage, which
+was my happiness for that time.
+
+After this attack it was not long but he found an opportunity
+to catch me again, and almost in the same posture; indeed, it
+had more of design in it on his part, though not on my part.  It
+was thus:  the young ladies were all gone a-visiting with their
+mother; his brother was out of town; and as for his father, he
+had been in London for a week before.  He had so well watched
+me that he knew where I was, though I did not so much as know
+that he was in the house; and he briskly comes up the stairs and,
+seeing me at work, comes into the room to me directly, and
+began just as he did before, with taking me in his arms, and
+kissing me for almost a quarter of an hour together.
+
+It was his younger sister's chamber that I was in, and as there
+was nobody in the house but the maids below-stairs, he was,
+it may be, the ruder; in short, he began to be in earnest with me
+indeed.  Perhaps he found me a little too easy, for God knows
+I made no resistance to him while he only held me in his arms
+and kissed me; indeed, I was too well pleased with it to resist
+him much.
+
+However, as it were, tired with that kind of work, we sat down,
+and there he talked with me a great while; he said he was
+charmed with me, and that he could not rest night or day till
+he had told me how he was in love with me, and, if I was able
+to love him again, and would make him happy, I should be the
+saving of his life, and many such fine things.  I said little to
+him again, but easily discovered that I was a fool, and that I
+did not in the least perceive what he meant.
+
+Then he walked about the room, and taking me by the hand,
+I walked with him; and by and by, taking his advantage, he
+threw me down upon the bed, and kissed me there most
+violently; but, to give him his due, offered no manner of
+rudeness to me, only kissed a great while.  After this he
+thought he had heard somebody come upstairs, so got off from
+the bed, lifted me up, professing a great deal of love for me,
+but told me it was all an honest affection, and that he meant
+no ill to me; and with that he put five guineas into my hand,
+and went away downstairs.
+
+I was more confounded with the money than I was before with
+the love, and began to be so elevated that I scarce knew the
+ground I stood on.  I am the more particular in this part, that
+if my story comes to be read by any innocent young body, they
+may learn from it to guard themselves against the mischiefs
+which attend an early knowledge of their own beauty.  If a
+young woman once thinks herself handsome, she never doubts
+the truth of any man that tells her he is in love with her; for if
+she believes herself charming enough to captivate him, 'tis
+natural to expect the effects of it.
+
+This young gentleman had fired his inclination as much as he
+had my vanity, and, as if he had found that he had an opportunity
+and was sorry he did not take hold of it, he comes up again in
+half an hour or thereabouts, and falls to work with me again as
+before, only with a little less introduction.
+
+And first, when he entered the room, he turned about and shut
+the door.  'Mrs. Betty,' said he, 'I fancied before somebody
+was coming upstairs, but it was not so; however,' adds he,
+'if they find me in the room with you, they shan't catch me
+a-kissing of you.' I told him I did not know who should be
+coming upstairs, for I believed there was nobody in the house
+but the cook and the other maid, and they never came up those
+stairs.  'Well, my dear,' says he, ''tis good to be sure, however';
+and so he sits down, and we began to talk.  And now, though
+I was still all on fire with his first visit, and said little, he did
+as it were put words in my mouth, telling me how passionately
+he loved me, and that though he could not mention such a thing
+till he came to this estate, yet he was resolved to make me happy
+then, and himself too; that is to say, to marry me, and abundance
+of such fine things, which I, poor fool, did not understand the
+drift of, but acted as if there was no such thing as any kind of
+love but that which tended to matrimony; and if he had spoke
+of that, I had no room, as well as no power, to have said no;
+but we were not come that length yet.
+
+We had not sat long, but he got up, and, stopping my very
+breath with kisses, threw me upon the bed again; but then
+being both well warmed, he went farther with me than decency
+permits me to mention, nor had it been in my power to have
+denied him at that moment, had he offered much more than
+he did.
+
+However, though he took these freedoms with me, it did not
+go to that which they call the last favour, which, to do him
+justice, he did not attempt; and he made that self-denial of his
+a plea for all his freedoms with me upon other occasions after
+this.  When this was over, he stayed but a little while, but he
+put almost a handful of gold in my hand, and left me, making
+a thousand protestations of his passion for me, and of his
+loving me above all the women in the world.
+
+It will not be strange if I now began to think, but alas! it was
+but with very little solid reflection.  I had a most unbounded
+stock of vanity and pride, and but a very little stock of virtue.
+I did indeed case sometimes with myself what young master
+aimed at, but thought of nothing but the fine words and the
+gold; whether he intended to marry me, or not to marry me,
+seemed a matter of no great consequence to me; nor did my
+thoughts so much as suggest to me the necessity of making
+any capitulation for myself, till he came to make a kind of
+formal proposal to me, as you shall hear presently.
+
+Thus I gave up myself to a readiness of being ruined without
+the least concern and am a fair memento to all young women
+whose vanity prevails over their virtue.  Nothing was ever so
+stupid on both sides.  Had I acted as became me, and resisted
+as virtue and honour require, this gentleman had either desisted
+his attacks, finding no room to expect the accomplishment of
+his design, or had made fair and honourable proposals of
+marriage; in which case, whoever had blamed him, nobody
+could have blamed me.  In short, if he had known me, and
+how easy the trifle he aimed at was to be had, he would have
+troubled his head no farther, but have given me four or five
+guineas, and have lain with me the next time he had come at me.
+And if I had known his thoughts, and how hard he thought I
+would be to be gained, I might have made my own terms with
+him; and if I had not capitulated for an immediate marriage,
+I might for a maintenance till marriage, and might have had
+what I would; for he was already rich to excess, besides what
+he had in expectation; but I seemed wholly to have abandoned
+all such thoughts as these, and was taken up only with the pride
+of my beauty, and of being beloved by such a gentleman.  As
+for the gold, I spent whole hours in looking upon it; I told the
+guineas over and over a thousand times a day.  Never poor
+vain creature was so wrapt up with every part of the story as
+I was, not considering what was before me, and how near my
+ruin was at the door; indeed, I think I rather wished for that
+ruin than studied to avoid it.
+
+In the meantime, however, I was cunning enough not to give
+the least room to any in the family to suspect me, or to imagine
+that I had the least correspondence with this young gentleman.
+I scarce ever looked towards him in public, or answered if he
+spoke to me when anybody was near us; but for all that, we
+had every now and then a little encounter, where we had room
+for a word or two, an now and then a kiss, but no fair opportunity
+for the mischief intended; and especially considering that he
+made more circumlocution than, if he had known by thoughts,
+he had occasion for; and the work appearing difficult to him,
+he really made it so.
+
+But as the devil is an unwearied tempter, so he never fails to
+find opportunity for that wickedness he invites to.  It was one
+evening that I was in the garden, with his two younger sisters
+and himself, and all very innocently merry, when he found
+means to convey a note into my hand, by which he directed
+me to understand that he would to-morrow desire me publicly
+to go of an errand for him into the town, and that I should see
+him somewhere by the way.
+
+Accordingly, after dinner, he very gravely says to me, his
+sisters being all by, 'Mrs. Betty, I must ask a favour of you.'
+'What's that?' says his second sister.  'Nay, sister,' says he
+very gravely, 'if you can't spare Mrs. Betty to-day, any other
+time will do.'  Yes, they said, they could spare her well enough,
+and the sister begged pardon for asking, which they did but of
+mere course, without any meaning.  'Well, but, brother,' says
+the eldest sister, 'you must tell Mrs. Betty what it is; if it be
+any private business that we must not hear, you may call her
+out.  There she is.'  'Why, sister,' says the gentleman very
+gravely, 'what do you mean?  I only desire her to go into the
+High Street' (and then he pulls out a turnover), 'to such a shop';
+and then he tells them a long story of two fine neckcloths he
+had bid money for, and he wanted to have me go and make an
+errand to buy a neck to the turnover that he showed, to see if
+they would take my money for the neckcloths; to bid a shilling
+more, and haggle with them; and then he made more errands,
+and so continued to have such petty business to do, that I should
+be sure to stay a good while.
+
+When he had given me my errands, he told them a long story
+of a visit he was going to make to a family they all knew, and
+where was to be such-and-such gentlemen, and how merry
+they were to be, and very formally asks his sisters to go with
+him, and they as formally excused themselves, because of
+company that they had notice was to come and visit them that
+afternoon; which, by the way, he had contrived on purpose.
+
+He had scarce done speaking to them, and giving me my
+errand, but his man came up to tell him that Sir W---- H----'s
+coach stopped at the door; so he runs down, and comes up
+again immediately.  'Alas!' says he aloud, 'there's all my
+mirth spoiled at once; sir W---- has sent his coach for me,
+and desires to speak with me upon some earnest business.'
+It seems this Sir W---- was a gentleman who lived about three
+miles out of town, to whom he had spoken on purpose the day
+before, to lend him his chariot for a particular occasion, and
+had appointed it to call for him, as it did, about three o'clock.
+
+Immediately he calls for his best wig, hat, and sword, and
+ordering his man to go to the other place to make his excuse--
+that was to say, he made an excuse to send his man away--he
+prepares to go into the coach.  As he was going, he stopped a
+while, and speaks mighty earnestly to me about his business,
+and finds an opportunity to say very softly to me, 'Come away,
+my dear, as soon as ever you can.'  I said nothing, but made a
+curtsy, as if I had done so to what he said in public.  In about
+a quarter of an hour I went out too; I had no dress other than
+before, except that I had a hood, a mask, a fan, and a pair of
+gloves in my pocket; so that there was not the least suspicion
+in the house.  He waited for me in the coach in a back-lane,
+which he knew I must pass by, and had directed the coachman
+whither to go, which was to a certain place, called Mile End,
+where lived a confidant of his, where we went in, and where
+was all the convenience in the world to be as wicked as we
+pleased.
+
+When we were together he began to talk very gravely to me,
+and to tell me he did not bring me there to betray me; that his
+passion for me would not suffer him to abuse me; that he
+resolved to marry me as soon as he came to his estate; that in
+the meantime, if I would grant his request, he would maintain
+me very honourably; and made me a thousand protestations
+of his sincerity and of his affection to me; and that he would
+never abandon me, and as I may say, made a thousand more
+preambles than he need to have done.
+
+However, as he pressed me to speak, I told him I had no
+reason to question the sincerity of his love to me after so many
+protestations, but--and there I stopped, as if I left him to
+guess the rest.  'But what, my dear?' says he.  'I guess what
+you mean:  what if you should be with child?  Is not that it?
+Why, then,' says he, 'I'll take care of you and provide for you,
+and the child too; and that you may see I am not in jest,' says
+he, 'here's an earnest for you,' and with that he pulls out a silk
+purse, with an hundred guineas in it, and gave it me.  'And I'll
+give you such another,' says he, 'every year till I marry you.'
+
+My colour came and went, at the sight of the purse and with
+the fire of his proposal together, so that I could not say a word,
+and he easily perceived it; so putting the purse into my bosom,
+I made no more resistance to him, but let him do just what he
+pleased, and as often as he pleased; and thus I finished my
+own destruction at once, for from this day, being forsaken of
+my virtue and my modesty, I had nothing of value left to
+recommend me, either to God's blessing or man's assistance.
+
+But things did not end here.  I went back to the town, did the
+business he publicly directed me to, and was at home before
+anybody thought me long.  As for my gentleman, he stayed
+out, as he told me he would, till late at night, and there was
+not the least suspicion in the family either on his account or
+on mine.
+
+We had, after this, frequent opportunities to repeat our crime
+--chiefly by his contrivance--especially at home, when his
+mother and the young ladies went abroad a-visiting, which he
+watched so narrowly as never to miss; knowing always
+beforehand when they went out, and then failed not to catch
+me all alone, and securely enough; so that we took our fill of
+our wicked pleasure for near half a year; and yet, which was
+the most to my satisfaction, I was not with child.
+
+But before this half-year was expired, his younger brother, of
+whom I have made some mention in the beginning of the story,
+falls to work with me; and he, finding me alone in the garden
+one evening, begins a story of the same kind to me, made
+good honest professions of being in love with me, and in short,
+proposes fairly and honourably to marry me, and that before
+he made any other offer to me at all.
+
+I was now confounded, and driven to such an extremity as
+the like was never known; at least not to me.  I resisted the
+proposal with obstinacy; and now I began to arm myself with
+arguments.  I laid before him the inequality of the match; the
+treatment I should meet with in the family; the ingratitude it
+would be to his good father and mother, who had taken me
+into their house upon such generous principles, and when I
+was in such a low condition; and, in short, I said everything
+to dissuade him from his design that I could imagine, except
+telling him the truth, which would indeed have put an end to
+it all, but that I durst not think of mentioning.
+
+But here happened a circumstance that I did not expect
+indeed, which put me to my shifts; for this young gentleman,
+as he was plain and honest, so he pretended to nothing with
+me but what was so too; and, knowing his own innocence, he
+was not so careful to make his having a kindness for Mrs. Betty
+a secret I the house, as his brother was.  And though he did
+not let them know that he had talked to me about it, yet he
+said enough to let his sisters perceive he loved me, and his
+mother saw it too, which, though they took no notice of it to
+me, yet they did to him, an immediately I found their carriage
+to me altered, more than ever before.
+
+I saw the cloud, though I did not foresee the storm.  It was
+easy, I say, to see that their carriage to me was altered, and
+that it grew worse and worse every day; till at last I got
+information among the servants that I should, in a very little
+while, be desired to remove.
+
+I was not alarmed at the news, having a full satisfaction that
+I should be otherwise provided for; and especially considering
+that I had reason every day to expect I should be with child,
+and that then I should be obliged to remove without any
+pretences for it.
+
+After some time the younger gentleman took an opportunity
+to tell me that the kindness he had for me had got vent in the
+family.  He did not charge me with it, he said, for he know
+well enough which way it came out.  He told me his plain way
+of  talking had been the occasion of it, for that he did not make
+his respect for me so much a secret as he might have done,
+and the reason was, that he was at a point, that if I would
+consent to have him, he would tell them all openly that he
+loved me, and that he intended to marry me; that it was true
+his father and mother might resent it, and be unkind, but that
+he was now in a way to live, being bred to the law, and he did
+not fear maintaining me agreeable to what I should expect;
+and that, in short, as he believed I would not be ashamed of
+him, so he was resolved not to be ashamed of me, and that he
+scorned to be afraid to own me now, whom he resolved to
+own after I was his wife, and therefore I had nothing to do but
+to give him my hand, and he would answer for all the rest.
+
+I was now in a dreadful condition indeed, and now I repented
+heartily my easiness with the eldest brother; not from any
+reflection of conscience, but from a view of the happiness I
+might have enjoyed, and had now made impossible; for though
+I had no great scruples of conscience, as I have said, to struggle
+with, yet I could not think of being a whore to one brother and
+a wife to the other.  But then it came into my thoughts that the
+first brother had promised to made me his wife when he came
+to his estate; but I presently remembered what I had often
+thought of, that he had never spoken a word of having me for
+a wife after he had conquered me for a mistress; and indeed,
+till now, though I said I thought of it often, yet it gave me no
+disturbance at all, for as he did not seem in the least to lessen
+his affection to me, so neither did he lessen his bounty, though
+he had the discretion himself to desire me not to lay out a
+penny of what he gave me in clothes, or to make the least show
+extraordinary, because it would necessarily give jealousy in
+the family, since everybody know I could come at such things
+no manner of ordinary way, but by some private friendship,
+which they would presently have suspected.
+
+But I was now in a great strait, and knew not what to
+do.  The main difficulty was this:  the younger brother not
+only laid close siege to me, but suffered it to be seen.  He
+would come into his sister's room, and his mother's room,
+and sit down, and talk a thousand kind things of me, and to
+me, even before their faces, and when they were all there.
+This grew so public that the whole house talked of it, and his
+mother reproved him for it, and their carriage to me appeared
+quite altered.  In short, his mother had let fall some speeches,
+as if she intended to put me out of the family; that is, in
+English, to turn me out of doors.  Now I was sure this could
+not be a secret to his brother, only that he might not think, as
+indeed nobody else yet did, that the youngest brother had made
+any proposal to me about it; but as I easily could see that it
+would go farther, so I saw likewise there was an absolute
+necessity to speak of it to him, or that he would speak of it to
+me, and which to do first I knew not; that is, whether I should
+break it to him or let it alone till he should break it to me.
+
+Upon serious consideration, for indeed now I began to consider
+things very seriously, and never till now; I say, upon serious
+consideration, I resolved to tell him of it first; and it was not
+long before I had an opportunity, for the very next day his
+brother went to London upon some business, and the family
+being out a-visiting, just as it had happened before, and as
+indeed was often the case, he came according to his custom,
+to spend an hour or two with Mrs. Betty.
+
+When he came had had sat down a while, he easily perceived
+there was an alteration in my countenance, that I was not so
+free and pleasant with him as I used to be, and particularly,
+that I had been a-crying; he was not long before he took notice
+of it, and asked me in very kind terms what was the matter,
+and if  anything troubled me.  I would have put it off if I could,
+but it was not to be concealed; so after suffering many
+importunities to draw that out of me which I longed as much
+as possible to disclose, I told him that it was true something
+did trouble me, and something of such a nature that I could
+not conceal from him, and yet that I could not tell how to tell
+him of it neither; that it was a thing that not only surprised me,
+but greatly perplexed me, and that I knew not what course to
+take, unless he would direct me.  He told me with great
+tenderness, that let it be what it would, I should not let it
+trouble me, for he would protect me from all the world.
+
+I then began at a distance, and told him I was afraid the ladies
+had got some secret information of our correspondence; for
+that it was easy to see that their conduct was very much
+changed towards me for a great while, and that now it was
+come to that pass that they frequently found fault with me,
+and sometimes fell quite out with me, though I never gave
+them the least occasion; that whereas I used always to lie
+with the eldest sister, I was lately put to lie by myself, or with
+one of the maids; and that I had overheard them several times
+talking very unkindly about me; but that which confirmed it
+all was, that one of the servants had told me that she had heard
+I  was to be turned out, and that it was not safe for the family
+that I should be any longer in the house.
+
+He smiled when he herd all this, and I asked him how he
+could make so light of it, when he must needs know that if
+there was any discovery I was undone for ever, and that even
+it would hurt him, though not ruin him as it would me.  I
+upbraided him, that he was like all the rest of the sex, that,
+when they had the character and honour of a woman at their
+mercy, oftentimes made it their jest, and at least looked upon
+it as a trifle, and counted the ruin of those they had had their
+will of as a thing of no value.
+
+He saw me warm and serious, and he changed his style
+immediately; he told me he was sorry I should have such a
+thought of him; that he had never given me the least occasion
+for it, but had been as tender of my reputation as he could be
+of his own; that he was sure our correspondence had been
+managed with so much address, that not one creature in the
+family had so much as a suspicion of it; that if he smiled when
+I told him my thoughts, it was at the assurance he lately
+received, that our understanding one another was not so much
+as known or guessed at; and that when he had told me how
+much reason he had to be easy, I should smile as he did, for
+he was very certain it would give me a full satisfaction.
+
+'This is a mystery I cannot understand,' says I, 'or how it
+should be to my satisfaction that I am to be turned out of
+doors; for if our correspondence is not discovered, I know
+not what else I have done to change the countenances of the
+whole family to me, or to have them treat me as they do now,
+who formerly used me with so much tenderness, as if I had
+been one of their own children.'
+
+'Why, look you, child,' says he, 'that they are uneasy about
+you, that is true; but that they have the least suspicion of the
+case as it is, and as it respects you and I, is so far from being
+true, that they suspect my brother Robin; and, in short, they
+are fully persuaded he makes love to you; nay, the fool has
+put it into their heads too himself, for he is continually bantering
+them about it, and making a jest of himself.  I confess I think
+he is wrong to do so, because he cannot but see it vexes them,
+and makes them unkind to you; but 'tis a satisfaction to me,
+because of the assurance it gives me, that they do not suspect
+me in the least, and I hope this will be to your satisfaction too.'
+
+'So it is,' says I, 'one way; but this does not reach my case at
+all, nor is this the chief thing that troubles me, though I have
+been concerned about that too.'  'What is it, then?' says he.
+With which I fell to tears, and could say nothing to him at all.
+He strove to pacify me all he could, but began at last to be
+very pressing upon me to tell what it was.  At last I answered
+that I thought I ought to tell him too, and that he had some
+right to know it; besides, that I wanted his direction in the case,
+for I was in such perplexity that I knew not what course to take,
+and then I related the whole affair to him.  I told him how
+imprudently his brother had managed himself, in making
+himself so public; for that if he had kept it a secret, as such a
+thing out to have been, I could but have denied him positively,
+without giving any reason for it, and he would in time have
+ceased his solicitations; but that he had the vanity, first, to
+depend upon it that I would not deny him, and then had taken
+the freedom to tell his resolution of having me to the whole house.
+
+I told him how far I had resisted him, and told him how sincere
+and honourable his offers were.  'But,' says I, 'my case will
+be doubly hard; for as they carry it ill to me now, because he
+desires to have me, they'll carry it worse when they shall find
+I have denied him; and they will presently say, there's something
+else in it, and then out it comes that I am married already to
+somebody else, or that I would never refuse a match so much
+above me as this was.'
+
+This discourse surprised him indeed very much.  He told me
+that it was a critical point indeed for me to manage, and he
+did not see which way I should get out of it; but he would
+consider it, and let me know next time we met, what resolution
+he was come to about it; and in the meantime desired I would
+not give my consent to his brother, nor yet give him a flat
+denial, but that I would hold him in suspense a while.
+
+I seemed to start at his saying I should not give him my
+consent.  I told him he knew very well I had no consent to
+give; that he had engaged himself to marry me, and that my
+consent was the same time engaged to him; that he had all
+along told me I was his wife, and I looked upon myself as
+effectually so as if the ceremony had passed; and that it was
+from his own mouth that I did so, he having all along persuaded
+me to call myself his wife.
+
+'Well, my dear,' says he, 'don't be concerned at that now;
+if I am not your husband, I'll be as good as a husband to you;
+and do not let those things trouble you now, but let me look
+a little farther into this affair, and I shall be able to say more
+next time we meet.'
+
+He pacified me as well as he could with this, but I found he
+was very thoughtful, and that though he was very kind to me
+and  kissed me a thousand times, and more I believe, and gave
+me money too, yet he offered no more all the while we were
+together, which was above two hours, and which I much
+wondered at indeed at that time, considering how it used to be,
+and what opportunity we had.
+
+His brother did not come from London for five or six days,
+and it was two days more before he got an opportunity to talk
+with him; but then getting him by himself he began to talk
+very close to him about it, and the same evening got an
+opportunity (for we had a long conference together) to repeat
+all their discourse to me, which, as near as I can remember,
+was to the purpose following.  He told him he heard strange
+news of him since he went, viz. that he made love to Mrs.
+Betty.  'Well, says his brother a little angrily, 'and so I do.
+And what then?  What has anybody to do with that?'  'Nay,'
+says his brother, 'don't be angry, Robin; I don't pretend to
+have anything to do with it; nor do I pretend to be angry with
+you about it.  But I find they do concern themselves about it,
+and that they have used the poor girl ill about it, which I should
+take as done to myself.'  'Whom do you mean by THEY?'
+says Robin.  'I mean my mother and the girls,' says the elder
+brother.  'But hark ye,' says his brother, 'are you in earnest?
+Do you really love this girl?  You may be free with me, you
+know.'  'Why, then,' says Robin, 'I will be free with you; I do
+love her above all the women in the world, and I will have her,
+let them say and do what they will.  I believe the girl will not
+deny me.'
+
+It struck me to the heart when he told me this, for though
+it was most rational to think I would not deny him, yet I knew
+in my own conscience I must deny him, and I saw my ruin in
+my being obliged to do so; but I knew it was my business to
+talk otherwise then, so I interrupted him in his story thus.
+
+'Ay!,' said I, 'does he think I cannot deny him?  But he shall
+find I can deny him, for all that.'
+
+'Well, my dear,' says he, 'but let me give you the whole story
+as it went on between us, and then say what you will.'
+
+Then he went on and told me that he replied thus:  'But,
+brother, you know she has nothing, and you may have several
+ladies with good fortunes.'
+
+''Tis no matter for that,' said Robin; 'I love the girl, and I will
+never please my pocket in marrying, and not please my fancy.'
+'And so, my dear,' adds he, 'there is no opposing him.'
+
+'Yes, yes,' says I, 'you shall see I can oppose him; I have
+learnt to say No, now though I had not learnt it before; if the
+best lord in the land offered me marriage now, I could very
+cheerfully say No to him.'
+
+'Well, but, my dear,' says he, 'what can you say to him?  You
+know, as you said when we talked of it before, he well ask
+you many questions about it, and all the house will wonder
+what the meaning of it should be.'
+
+'Why,' says I, smiling, 'I can stop all their mouths at one clap
+by telling him, and them too, that I am married already to his
+elder brother.'
+
+He smiled a little too at the word, but I could see it startled
+him, and he could not hide the disorder it put him into.
+However, he returned, 'Why, though that may be true in some
+sense, yet I suppose you are but in jest when you talk of
+giving such an answer as that; it may not be convenient on
+many accounts.'
+
+'No, no,' says I pleasantly, 'I am not so fond of letting the
+secret come out without your consent.'
+
+'But what, then, can you say to him, or to them,' says he,
+'when they find you positive against a match which would
+be apparently so much to your advantage?'
+
+'Why,' says I, 'should I be at a loss?  First of all, I am not
+obliged to give me any reason at all; on the other hand, I may
+tell them I am married already, and stop there, and that will
+be a full stop too to him, for he can have no reason to ask one
+question after it.'
+
+'Ay,' says he; 'but the whole house will tease you about that,
+even to father and mother, and if you deny them positively,
+they will be disobliged at you, and suspicious besides.'
+
+'Why,' says I, 'what can I do?  What would have me do?  I
+was in straight enough before, and as I told you, I was in
+perplexity before, and acquainted you with the circumstances,
+that I might have your advice.'
+
+'My dear,' says he, 'I have been considering very much upon
+it, you may be sure, and though it is a piece of advice that has
+a great many mortifications in it to me, and may at first seem
+strange to you, yet, all things considered, I see no better way
+for you than to let him go on; and if you find him hearty and
+in earnest, marry him.'
+
+I gave him a look full of horror at those words, and, turning
+pale as death, was at the very point of sinking down out of the
+chair I sat in; when, giving a start, 'My dear,' says he aloud,
+'what's the matter with you?  Where are you a-going?' and a
+great many such things; and with jogging and called to me,
+fetched me a little to myself, though it was a good while before
+I fully recovered my senses, and was not able to speak for
+several minutes more.
+
+When I was fully recovered he began again.  'My dear,' says
+he, 'what made you so surprised at what I said?  I would have
+you consider seriously of it?  You may see plainly how the
+family stand in this case, and they would be stark mad if it
+was my case, as it is my brother's; and for aught I see, it
+would be my ruin and yours too.'
+
+'Ay!' says I, still speaking angrily; 'are all your protestations
+and vows to be shaken by the dislike of the family?  Did I not
+always object that to you, and you made light thing of it, as
+what you were above, and would value; and is it come to
+this now?' said I.  'Is this your faith and honour, your love,
+and the solidity of your promises?'
+
+He continued perfectly calm, notwithstanding all my reproaches,
+and I was not sparing of them at all; but he replied at last,
+'My dear, I have not broken one promise with you yet; I did
+tell you I would marry you when I was come to my estate; but
+you see my father is a hale, healthy man, and may live these
+thirty years still, and not be older than several are round us in
+town; and you never proposed my marrying you sooner,
+because you knew it might be my ruin; and as to all the rest, I
+have not failed you in anything, you have wanted for nothing.'
+
+I could not deny a word of this, and had nothing to say to it
+in general.  'But why, then,' says I, 'can you persuade me to
+such a horrid step as leaving you, since you have not left me?
+Will you allow no affection, no love on my side, where there
+has been so much on your side?  Have I made you no returns?
+Have I given no testimony of my sincerity and of my passion?
+Are the sacrifices I have made of honour and modesty to you
+no proof of my being tied to you in bonds too strong to be
+broken?'
+
+'But here, my dear,' says he, 'you may come into a safe station,
+and appear with honour and with splendour at once, and the
+remembrance of what we have done may be wrapt up in an
+eternal silence, as if it had never happened; you shall always
+have my respect, and my sincere affection, only then it shall
+be honest, and perfectly just to my brother; you shall be my
+dear sister, as now you are my dear----' and there he stopped.
+
+'Your dear whore,' says I, 'you would have said if you had
+gone on, and you might as well have said it; but I understand
+you.  However, I desire you to remember the long discourses
+you have had with me, and the many hours' pains you have
+taken to persuade me to believe myself an honest woman;
+that I was your wife intentionally, though not in the eyes of
+the world, and that it was as effectual a marriage that had
+passed between us as is we had been publicly wedded by the
+parson of the parish.  You know and cannot but remember
+that these have been your own words to me.'
+
+I found this was a little too close upon him, but I made it up
+in what follows.  He stood stock-still for a while and said
+nothing, and I went on thus:  'You cannot,' says I, 'without
+the highest injustice, believe that I yielded upon all these
+persuasions without a love not to be questioned, not to be
+shaken again by anything that could happen afterward.  If you
+have such dishonourable thoughts of me, I must ask you what
+foundation in any of my behaviour have I given for such a
+suggestion?
+
+'If, then, I have yielded to the importunities of my affection,
+and if I have been persuaded to believe that I am really, and
+in the essence of the thing, your wife, shall I now give the lie
+to all those arguments and call myself your whore, or mistress,
+which is the same thing?  And will you transfer me to your
+brother?  Can you transfer my affection?  Can you bid me
+cease loving you, and bid me love him?  It is in my power,
+think you, to make such a change at demand?  No, sir,' said I,
+'depend upon it 'tis impossible, and whatever the change of
+your side may be, I will ever be true; and I had much rather,
+since it is come that unhappy length, be your whore than your
+brother's wife.'
+
+He appeared pleased and touched with the impression of this
+last discourse, and told me that he stood where he did before;
+that he had not been unfaithful to me in any one promise he
+had ever made yet, but that there were so many terrible things
+presented themselves to his view in the affair before me, and
+that on my account in particular, that he had thought of the
+other as a remedy so effectual as nothing could come up to it.
+That he thought this would not be entire parting us, but we
+might love as friends all our days, and perhaps with more
+satisfaction than we should in the station we were now in,
+as things might happen; that he durst say, I could not apprehend
+anything from him as to betraying a secret, which could not
+but be the destruction of us both, if it came out; that he had
+but one question to ask of me that could lie in the way of it,
+and if that question was answered in the negative, he could
+not but think still it was the only step I could take.
+
+I guessed at his question presently, namely, whether I was
+sure I was not with child?  As to that, I told him he need not
+be concerned about it, for I was not with child.  'Why, then,
+my dear,' says he, 'we have no time to talk further now.
+Consider of it, and think closely about it; I cannot but be of
+the opinion still, that it will be the best course you can take.'
+And with this he took his leave, and the more hastily too, his
+mother and sisters ringing at the gate, just at the moment that
+he had risen up to go.
+
+He left me in the utmost confusion of  thought; and he easily
+perceived it the next day, and all the rest of the week, for it
+was but Tuesday evening when we talked; but he had no
+opportunity to come at me all that week, till the Sunday after,
+when I, being indisposed, did not go to church, and he, making
+some excuse for the like, stayed at home.
+
+And now he had me an hour and a half again by myself, and
+we fell into the same arguments all over again, or at least so
+near the same, as it would be to no purpose to repeat them.
+At last I asked him warmly, what opinion he must have of my
+modesty, that he could suppose I should so much as entertain
+a thought of lying with two brothers, and assured him it could
+never be.  I added, if he was to tell me that he would never
+see me more, than which nothing but death could be more
+terrible, yet I could never entertain a thought so dishonourable
+to myself, and so base to him; and therefore, I entreated him,
+if he had one grain of respect or affection left for me, that he
+would speak no more of it to me, or that he would pull his
+sword out and kill me.  He appeared surprised at my obstinacy,
+as he called it; told me I was unkind to myself, and unkind to
+him in it; that it was a crisis unlooked for upon us both, and
+impossible for either of us to foresee, but that he did not see
+any other way to save us both from ruin, and therefore he
+thought it the more unkind; but that if he must say no more
+of it to me, he added with an unusual coldness, that he did
+not know anything else we had to talk of; and so he rose up to
+take his leave.  I rose up too, as if with the same indifference;
+but when he came to give me as it were a parting kiss, I burst
+out into such a passion of crying, that though I would have spoke,
+I could not, and only pressing his hand, seemed to give him the
+adieu, but cried vehemently.
+
+He was sensibly moved with this; so he sat down again, and
+said a great many kind things to me, to abate the excess of my
+passion, but still urged the necessity of what he had proposed;
+all the while insisting, that if I did refuse, he would
+notwithstanding provide for me; but letting me plainly see that
+he would decline me in the main point--nay, even as a mistress;
+making it a point of honour not to lie with the woman that,
+for aught he knew, might come to be his brother's wife.
+
+The bare loss of him as a gallant was not so much my affliction
+as the loss of his person, whom indeed I loved to distraction;
+and the loss of all the expectations I had, and which I always
+had built my hopes upon, of having him one day for my
+husband.  These things oppressed my mind so much, that, in
+short, I fell very ill; the agonies of my mind, in a word, threw
+ me into a high fever, and long it was, that none in the family
+expected my life.
+
+I was reduced very low indeed, and was often delirious and
+light-headed; but nothing lay so near me as the fear that, when
+I was light-headed, I should say something or other to his
+prejudice.  I was distressed in my mind also to see him, and
+so he was to see me, for he really loved me most passionately;
+but it could not be; there was not the least room to desire it
+on one side or other, or so much as to make it decent.
+
+It was near five weeks that I kept my bed and though the
+violence of my fever abated in three weeks, yet it several
+times returned; and the physicians said two or three times,
+they could do no more for me, but that they must leave nature
+and the distemper to fight it out, only strengthening the first
+with cordials to maintain the struggle.  After the end of five
+weeks I grew better, but was so weak, so altered, so melancholy,
+and recovered so slowly, that they physicians apprehended I
+should go into a consumption; and which vexed me most,
+they gave it as their opinion that my mind was oppressed,
+that something troubled me, and, in short, that I was in love.
+Upon this, the whole house was set upon me to examine me,
+and to press me to tell whether I was in love or not, and with
+whom; but as I well might, I denied my being in love at all.
+
+They had on this occasion a squabble one day about me at
+table, that had like to have put the whole family in an uproar,
+and for some time did so.  They happened to be all at table but
+the father; as for me, I was ill, and in my chamber.  At the
+beginning of the talk, which was just as they had finished
+their dinner, the old gentlewoman, who had sent me somewhat
+to eat, called her maid to go up and ask me if I would have any
+more; but the maid brought down word I had not eaten half
+what she had sent me already.
+
+'Alas, says the old lady, 'that poor girl!  I am afraid she will
+never be well.'
+
+'Well!' says the elder brother, 'how should Mrs. Betty be well?
+They say she is in love.'
+
+'I believe nothing of it,' says the old gentlewoman.
+
+'I don't know,' says the eldest sister, 'what to say to it;
+they have made such a rout about her being so handsome, and
+so charming, and I know not what, and that in her hearing too,
+that has turned the creature's head, I believe, and who knows
+what possessions may follow such doings?  For my part, I
+don't know what to make of it.'
+
+'Why, sister, you must acknowledge she is very handsome,'
+says the elder brother.
+
+'Ay, and a great deal handsomer than you, sister,' says Robin,
+'and that's your mortification.'
+
+'Well, well, that is not the question,' says his sister; 'that girl
+is well enough, and she knows it well enough; she need not
+be told of it to make her vain.'
+
+'We are not talking of her being vain,' says the elder brother,
+'but of her being in love; it may be she is in love with herself;
+it seems my sisters think so.'
+
+'I would she was in love with me,' says Robin; 'I'd quickly
+put her out of her pain.'
+
+'What d'ye mean by that, son,' says the old lady; 'how can
+you talk so?'
+
+'Why, madam,' says Robin, again, very honestly, 'do you
+think I'd let the poor girl die for love, and of one that is near
+at hand to be had, too?'
+
+'Fie, brother!', says the second sister, 'how can you talk so?
+Would you take a creature that has not a groat in the world?'
+
+'Prithee, child,' says Robin, 'beauty's a portion, and good-
+humour with it is a double portion; I wish thou hadst half her
+stock of both for thy portion.'  So there was her mouth stopped.
+
+'I find,' says the eldest sister, 'if Betty is not in love, my
+brother is.  I wonder he has not broke his mind to Betty; I
+warrant she won't say No.'
+
+'They that yield when they're asked,' says Robin, 'are one
+step before them that were never asked to yield, sister, and
+two steps before them that yield before they are asked; and
+that's an answer to you, sister.'
+
+This fired the sister, and she flew into a passion, and said,
+things were come to that pass that it was time the wench,
+meaning me, was out of the family; and but that she was not
+fit to be turned out, she hoped her father and mother would
+consider of it as soon as she could be removed.
+
+Robin replied, that was business for the master and mistress
+of the family, who where not to be taught by one that had so
+little judgment as his eldest sister.
+
+It ran up a great deal farther; the sister scolded, Robin rallied
+and bantered, but poor Betty lost ground by it extremely in
+the family.  I heard of it, and I cried heartily, and the old lady
+came up to me, somebody having told her that I was so much
+concerned about it.  I complained to her, that it was very hard
+the doctors should pass such a censure upon me, for which
+they had no ground; and that it was still harder, considering
+the circumstances I was under in the family; that I hoped I
+had done nothing to lessen her esteem for me, or given any
+occasion for the bickering between her sons and daughters,
+and I had more need to think of a coffin than of being in love,
+and begged she would not let me suffer in her opinion for
+anybody's mistakes but my own.
+
+She was sensible of the justice of what I said, but told me,
+since there had been such a clamour among them, and that her
+younger son talked after such a rattling way as he did, she
+desired I would be so faithful to her as to answer her but one
+question sincerely.  I told her I would, with all my heart, and
+with the utmost plainness and sincerity.  Why, then, the
+question was, whether there way anything between her son
+Robert and me.  I told her with all the protestations of sincerity
+that I was able to make, and as I might well, do, that there was
+not, nor every had been; I told her that Mr. Robert had rattled
+and jested, as she knew it was his way, and that I took it always,
+as I supposed he meant it, to be a wild airy way of discourse
+that had no signification in it; and again assured her, that there
+was not the least tittle of what she understood by it between
+us; and that those who had suggested it had done me a great
+deal of wrong, and Mr. Robert no service at all.
+
+The old lady was fully satisfied, and kissed me, spoke
+cheerfully to me, and bid me take care of my health and want
+for nothing, and so took her leave.  But when she came down
+she found the brother and all his sisters together by the ears;
+they were angry, even to passion, at his upbraiding them with
+their being homely, and having never had any sweethearts,
+never having been asked the question, and their being so
+forward as almost to ask first.  He rallied them upon the
+subject of Mrs. Betty; how pretty, how good-humoured, how
+she sung better then they did, and danced better, and how
+much handsomer she was; and in doing this he omitted no
+ill-natured thing that could vex them, and indeed, pushed too
+hard upon them.  The old lady came down in the height of it,
+and to put a stop it to, told them all the discourse she had had
+with me, and how I answered, that there was nothing between
+Mr. Robert and I.
+
+'She's wrong there,' says Robin, 'for if there was not a great
+deal between us, we should be closer together than we are.
+I told her I loved her hugely,' says he, 'but I could never make
+the jade believe I was in earnest.'  'I do not know how you
+should,' says his mother; 'nobody in their senses could believe
+you were in earnest, to talk so to a poor girl, whose circumstances
+you know so well.
+
+'But prithee, son,' adds she, 'since you tell me that you could
+not make her believe you were in earnest, what must we
+believe about it?  For you ramble so in your discourse, that
+nobody knows whether you are in earnest or in jest; but as I
+find the girl, by your own confession, has answered truly, I
+wish you would do so too, and tell me seriously, so that I may
+depend upon it.  Is there anything in it or no?  Are you in
+earnest or no?  Are you distracted, indeed, or are you not?
+'Tis a weighty question, and I wish you would make us easy
+about it.'
+
+'By my faith, madam,' says Robin, ''tis in vain to mince the
+matter or tell any more lies about it; I am in earnest, as much
+as a man is that's going to be hanged.  If Mrs. Betty would
+say she loved me, and that she would marry me, I'd have her
+tomorrow morning fasting, and say, 'To have and to hold,'
+instead of eating my breakfast.'
+
+'Well,' says the mother, 'then there's one son lost'; and she
+said it in a very mournful tone, as one greatly concerned at it.
+
+'I hope not, madam,' says Robin; 'no man is lost when a good
+wife has found him.'
+
+'Why, but, child,' says the old lady, 'she is a beggar.'
+
+'Why, then, madam, she has the more need of charity,' says
+Robin; 'I'll take her off the hands of the parish, and she and
+I'll beg together.'
+
+'It's bad jesting with such things,' says the mother.
+
+'I don't jest, madam,' says Robin.  'We'll come and beg your
+pardon, madam; and your blessing, madam, and my father's.'
+
+'This is all out of the way, son,' says the mother.  'If you are
+in earnest you are undone.'
+
+'I am afraid not,' says he, 'for I am really afraid she won't
+have me; after all my sister's huffing and blustering, I believe
+I shall never be able to persuade her to it.'
+
+'That's a fine tale, indeed; she is not so far out of her senses
+neither.  Mrs. Betty is no fool,' says the younger sister.  'Do
+you think she has learnt to say No, any more than other people?'
+
+'No, Mrs. Mirth-wit,' says Robin, 'Mrs. Betty's no fool; but
+Mrs. Betty may be engaged some other way, and what then?'
+
+'Nay,' says the eldest sister, 'we can say nothing to that.  Who
+must it be to, then?  She is never out of the doors; it must be
+between you.'
+
+'I have nothing to say to that,' says Robin.  'I have been
+examined enough; there's my brother.  If it must be between
+us, go to work with him.'
+
+This stung the elder brother to the quick, and he concluded
+that Robin had discovered something.  However, he kept
+himself from appearing disturbed.  'Prithee,' says he, 'don't
+go to shame your stories off upon me; I tell you, I deal in no
+such ware; I have nothing to say to Mrs. Betty, nor to any of
+the Mrs. Bettys in the parish'; and with that he rose up and
+brushed off.
+
+'No,' says the eldest sister, 'I dare answer for my brother; he
+knows the world better.'
+
+Thus the discourse ended, but it left the elder brother quite
+confounded.  He concluded his brother had made a full
+discovery, and he began to doubt whether I had been concerned
+in it or not; but with all his management he could not bring
+it about to get at me.  At last he was so perplexed that he was
+quite desperate, and resolved he would come into my chamber
+and see me, whatever came of it.  In order to do this, he
+contrived it so, that one day after dinner, watching his eldest
+sister till he could see her go upstairs, he runs after her.  'Hark
+ye, sister,' says he, 'where is this sick woman?  May not a
+body see her?'  'Yes,' says the sister, 'I believe you may; but
+let me go first a little, and I'll tell you.'  So she ran up to the
+door and gave me notice, and presently called to him again.
+'Brother,' says she, 'you may come if you please.'  So in he
+came, just in the same kind of rant.  'Well,' says he at the door
+as he came in, 'where is this sick body that's in love?  How
+do ye do, Mrs. Betty?'  I would have got up out of my chair,
+but was so weak I could not for a good while; and he saw it,
+and his sister to, and she said, 'Come, do not strive to stand
+up; my brother desires no ceremony, especially now you are
+so weak.'  'No, no, Mrs. Betty, pray sit still,' says he, and so
+sits himself down in a chair over against me, and appeared as
+if he was mighty merry.
+
+He talked a lot of rambling stuff to his sister and to me,
+sometimes of one thing, sometimes of another, on purpose
+to amuse his sister, and every now and then would turn it
+upon the old story, directing it to me.  'Poor Mrs. Betty,' says
+he, 'it is a sad thing to be in love; why, it has reduced you
+sadly.'  At last I spoke a little.  'I am glad to see you so merry,
+sir,' says I; 'but I think the doctor might have found something
+better to do than to make his game at his patients.  If I had
+been ill of no other distemper, I know the proverb too well to
+have let him come to me.'  'What proverb?' says he, 'Oh!  I
+remember it now.  What--
+
+     "Where love is the case,
+      The doctor's an ass."
+
+Is not that it, Mrs. Betty?'  I smiled and said nothing.  'Nay,'
+says he, 'I think the effect has proved it to be love, for it
+seems the doctor has been able to do you but little service;
+you mend very slowly, they say.  I doubt there's somewhat in
+it, Mrs. Betty; I doubt you are sick of the incurables, and that
+is love.'  I smiled and said, 'No, indeed, sir, that's none of my
+distemper.'
+
+We had a deal of such discourse, and sometimes others that
+signified as little.  By and by he asked me to sing them a song,
+at which I smiled, and said my singing days were over.  At last
+he asked me if he should play upon his flute to me; his sister
+said she believe it would hurt me, and that my head could
+not bear it.  I bowed, and said, No, it would not hurt me.
+'And, pray, madam.' said I, 'do not hinder it; I love the music
+of the flute very much.'  Then his sister said, 'Well, do, then,
+brother.'  With that he pulled out the key of his closet.  'Dear
+sister,' says he, 'I am very lazy; do step to my closet and fetch
+my flute; it lies in such a drawer,' naming a place where he
+was sure it was not, that she might be a little while a-looking
+for it.
+
+As soon as she was gone, he related the whole story to me
+of the discourse his brother had about me, and of his pushing
+it at him, and his concern about it, which was the reason of
+his contriving this visit to me.  I assured him I had never
+opened my mouth either to his brother or to anybody else.
+I told him the dreadful exigence I was in; that my love to him,
+and his offering to have me forget that affection and remove
+it to another, had thrown me down; and that I had a thousand
+times wished I might die rather than recover, and to have the
+same circumstances to struggle with as I had before, and that
+his backwardness to life had been the great reason of the
+slowness of my recovering.  I added that I foresaw that as soon
+as I was well, I must quit the family, and that as for marrying
+his brother, I abhorred the thoughts of it after what had been
+my case with him, and that he might depend upon it I would
+never see his brother again upon that subject; that if he would
+break all his vows and oaths and engagements with me, be
+that between his conscience and his honour and himself; but
+he should never be able to say that I, whom he had persuaded
+to call myself his wife, and who had given him the liberty to
+use me as a wife, was not as faithful to him as a wife ought to
+be, whatever he might be to me.
+
+He was going to reply, and had said that he was sorry I could
+not be persuaded, and was a-going to say more, but he heard
+his sister a-coming, and so did I; and yet I forced out these
+few words as a reply, that I could never be persuaded to love
+one brother and marry another.  He shook his head and said,
+'Then I am ruined,' meaning himself; and that moment his
+sister entered the room and told him she could not find the
+flute. 'Well,' says he merrily, 'this laziness won't do'; so he
+gets up and goes himself to go to look for it, but comes back
+without it too; not but that he could have found it, but because
+his mind was a little disturbed, and he had no mind to play;
+and, besides, the errand he sent his sister on was answered
+another way; for he only wanted an opportunity to speak to
+me, which he gained, though not much to his satisfaction.
+
+I had, however, a great deal of satisfaction in having spoken
+my mind to him with freedom, and with such an honest
+plainness, as I have related; and though it did not at all work
+the way I desired, that is to say, to oblige the person to me
+the more, yet it took from him all possibility of quitting me
+but by a downright breach of honour, and giving up all the
+faith of a gentleman to me, which he had so often engaged by,
+never to abandon me, but to make me his wife as soon as he
+came to his estate.
+
+It was not many weeks after this before I was about the house
+again, and began to grow well; but I continued melancholy,
+silent, dull, and retired, which amazed the whole family, except
+he that knew the reason of it; yet it was a great while before
+he took any notice of it, and I, as backward to speak as he,
+carried respectfully to him, but never offered to speak a word
+to him that was particular of any kind whatsoever; and this
+continued for sixteen or seventeen weeks; so that, as I expected
+every day to be dismissed the family, on account of what
+distaste they had taken another way, in which I had no guilt,
+so I expected to hear no more of this gentleman, after all his
+solemn vows and protestations, but to be ruined and abandoned.
+
+At last I broke the way myself in the family for my removing;
+for being talking seriously with the old lady one day, about
+my own circumstances in the world, and how my distemper
+had left a heaviness upon my spirits, that I was not the same
+thing I was before, the old lady said, 'I am afraid, Betty, what
+I have said to you about my son has had some influence upon
+you, and that you are melancholy on his account; pray, will
+you let me know how the matter stands with you both, if it
+may not be improper?  For, as for Robin, he does nothing but
+rally and banter when I speak of it to him.'  'Why, truly,
+madam,' said I 'that matter stands as I wish it did not, and I
+shall be very sincere with you in it, whatever befalls me for it.
+Mr. Robert has several times proposed marriage to me, which
+is what I had no reason to expect, my poor circumstances
+considered; but I have always resisted him, and that perhaps
+in terms more positive than became me, considering the regard
+that I ought to have for every branch of your family; but,' said
+I, 'madam, I could never so far forget my obligation to you
+and all your house, to offer to consent to a thing which I know
+must needs be disobliging to you, and this I have made my
+argument to him, and have positively told him that I would
+never entertain a thought of that kind unless I had your consent,
+and his father's also, to whom I was bound by so many
+invincible obligations.'
+
+'And is this possible, Mrs. Betty?' says the old lady.  'Then
+you have been much juster to us than we have been to you;
+for we have all looked upon you as a kind of snare to my son,
+and I had a proposal to make to you for your removing, for
+fear of it; but I had not yet mentioned it to you, because I
+thought you were not thorough well, and I was afraid of
+grieving you too much, lest it should throw you down again;
+for we have all a respect for you still, though not so much as
+to have it be the ruin of my son; but if it be as you say, we have
+all wronged you very much.'
+
+'As to the truth of what I say, madam,' said I, 'refer you to
+your son himself; if he will do me any justice, he must tell you
+the story just as I have told it.'
+
+Away goes the old lady to her daughters and tells them the
+whole story, just as I had told it her; and they were surprised
+at it, you may be sure, as I believed they would be.  One said
+she could never have thought it; another said Robin was a fool;
+a third said she would not believe a word of it, and she would
+warrant that Robin would tell the story another way.  But the
+old gentlewoman, who was resolved to go to the bottom of it
+before I could have the least opportunity of acquainting her
+son with what had passed, resolved too that she would talk
+with her son immediately, and to that purpose sent for him,
+for he was gone but to a lawyer's house in the town, upon
+some petty business of his own, and upon her sending he
+returned immediately.
+
+Upon his coming up to them, for they were all still together,
+'Sit down, Robin,' says the old lady, 'I must have some talk
+with you.'  'With all my heart, madam,' says Robin, looking
+very merry.  'I hope it is about a good wife, for I am at a great
+loss in that affair.'  'How can that be?' says his mother; 'did
+not you say you resolved to have Mrs. Betty?'  'Ay, madam,'
+says Robin, 'but there is one has forbid the banns.'  'Forbid,
+the banns!' says his mother; 'who can that be?'  'Even Mrs.
+Betty herself,' says Robin.  'How so?' says his mother.  'Have
+you asked her the question, then?'  'Yes, indeed, madam,' says
+Robin.  'I have attacked her in form five times since she was sick,
+and am beaten off; the jade is so stout she won't capitulate nor
+yield upon any terms, except such as I cannot effectually grant.'
+'Explain yourself,' says the mother, 'for I am surprised; I do
+not understand you.  I hope you are not in earnest.'
+
+'Why, madam,' says he, 'the case is plain enough upon me,
+it explains itself; she won't have me, she says; is not that plain
+enough?  I think 'tis plain, and pretty rough too.'  'Well, but,'
+says the mother, 'you talk of conditions that you cannot grant;
+what does she want--a settlement?  Her jointure ought to be
+according to her portion; but what fortune does she bring you?'
+'Nay, as to fortune,' says Robin, 'she is rich enough; I am
+satisfied in that point; but 'tis I that am not able to come up
+to her terms, and she is positive she will not have me without.'
+
+Here the sisters put in.  'Madam,' says the second sister, ''tis
+impossible to be serious with him; he will never give a direct
+answer to anything; you had better let him alone, and talk no
+more of it to him; you know how to dispose of her out of his
+way if you thought there was anything in it.'  Robin was a little
+warmed with his sister's rudeness, but he was even with her,
+and yet with good manners too.  'There are two sorts of people,
+madam,' says he, turning to his mother, 'that there is no
+contending with; that is, a wise body and a fool; 'tis a little
+hard I should engage with both of them together.'
+
+The younger sister then put in.  'We must be fools indeed,'
+says she, 'in my brother's opinion, that he should think we can
+believe he has seriously asked Mrs. Betty to marry him, and
+that she has refused him.'
+
+'Answer, and answer not, say Solomon,' replied her brother.
+'When your brother had said to your mother that he had asked
+her no less than five times, and that it was so, that she positively
+denied him, methinks a younger sister need not question the
+truth of it when her mother did not.'  'My mother, you see,
+did not understand it,' says the second sister.  'There's some
+difference,' says Robin, 'between desiring me to explain it,
+and telling me she did not believe it.'
+
+'Well, but, son,' says the old lady, 'if you are disposed to let
+us into the mystery of it, what were these hard conditions?'
+'Yes, madam,' says Robin, 'I had done it before now, if the
+teasers here had not worried my by way of interruption.  The
+conditions are, that I bring my father and you to consent to it,
+and without that she protests she will never see me more upon
+that head; and to these conditions, as I said, I suppose I shall
+never be able to grant.  I hope my warm sisters will be
+answered now, and blush a little; if not, I have no more to say
+till I hear further.'
+
+This answer was surprising to them all, though less to the
+mother, because of what I had said to her.  As to the daughters,
+they stood mute a great while; but the mother said with some
+passion, 'Well, I had heard this before, but I could not believe
+it; but if it is so, they we have all done Betty wrong, and she
+has behaved better than I ever expected.'  'Nay,' says the eldest
+sister, 'if it be so, she has acted handsomely indeed.'  'I confess,'
+says the mother, 'it was none of her fault, if he was fool enough
+to take a fancy to her; but to give such an answer to him, shows
+more respect to your father and me than I can tell how to
+express; I shall value the girl the better for it as long as I know
+her.'  'But I shall not,' says Robin, 'unless you will give your
+consent.' 'I'll consider of that a while,' says the mother; 'I
+assure you, if there were not some other objections in the way,
+this conduct of hers would go a great way to bring me to
+consent.'  'I wish it would go quite through it,' says Robin;
+'if you had a much thought about making me easy as you have
+about making me rich, you would soon consent to it.'
+
+'Why, Robin,' says the mother again, 'are you really in earnest?
+Would you so fain have her as you pretend?'  "Really, madam,'
+says Robin, 'I think 'tis hard you should question me upon
+that head after all I have said.  I won't say that I will have her;
+how can I resolve that point, when you see I cannot have her
+without your consent?  Besides, I am not bound to marry at
+all.  But this I will say, I am in earnest in, that I will never have
+anybody else if I can help it; so you may determine for me.
+Betty or nobody is the word, and the question which of the
+two shall be in your breast to decide, madam, provided only,
+that my good-humoured sisters here may have no vote in it.'
+
+All this was dreadful to me, for the mother began to yield,
+and Robin pressed her home on it.  On the other hand, she
+advised with the eldest son, and he used all the arguments in
+the world to persuade her to consent; alleging his brother's
+passionate love for me, and my generous regard to the family,
+in refusing my own advantages upon such a nice point of
+honour, and a thousand such things.  And as to the father, he
+was a man in a hurry of public affairs and getting money,
+seldom at home, thoughtful of the main chance, but left all
+those things to his wife.
+
+You may easily believe, that when the plot was thus, as they
+thought, broke out, and that every one thought they knew how
+things were carried, it was not so difficult or so dangerous for
+the elder brother, whom nobody suspected of anything, to have
+a freer access to me than before; nay, the mother, which was
+just as he wished, proposed it to him to talk with Mrs. Betty.
+'For it may be, son,' said she, 'you may see farther into the
+thing than I, and see if you think she has been so positive as
+Robin says she has been, or no.'  This was as well as he could
+wish, and he, as it were, yielding to talk with me at his mother's
+request, she brought me to him into her own chamber, told me
+her son had some business with me at her request, and desired
+me to be very sincere with him, and then she left us together,
+and he went and shut the door after her.
+
+He came back to me and took me in his arms, and kissed me
+very tenderly; but told me he had a long discourse to hold
+with me, and it was not come to that crisis, that I should make
+myself happy or miserable as long as I lived; that the thing
+was now gone so far, that if I could not comply with his desire,
+we would both be ruined.  Then he told the whole story
+between Robin, as he called him, and his mother and sisters
+and himself, as it is above.  'And now, dear child,' says he,
+'consider what it will be to marry a gentleman of a good family,
+in good circumstances, and with the consent of the whole house,
+and to enjoy all that he world can give you; and what, on the
+other hand, to be sunk into the dark circumstances of a woman
+that has lost her reputation; and that though I shall be a private
+friend to you while I live, yet as I shall be suspected always,
+so you will be afraid to see me, and I shall be afraid to own you.'
+
+He gave me no time to reply, but went on with me thus:  'What
+has happened between us, child, so long as we both agree to do
+so, may be buried and forgotten.  I shall always be your sincere
+friend, without any inclination to nearer intimacy, when you
+become my sister; and we shall have all the honest part of
+conversation without any reproaches between us of having
+done amiss.  I beg of you to consider it, and to not stand in the
+way of your own safety and prosperity; and to satisfy you that
+I am sincere,' added he, 'I here offer you #500 in money, to
+make you some amends for the freedoms I have taken with
+you, which we shall look upon as some of the follies of our
+lives,  which 'tis hoped we may repent of.'
+
+He spoke this in so much more moving terms than it is possible
+for me to express, and with so much greater force of argument
+than I can repeat, that I only recommend it to those who read
+the story, to suppose, that as he held me above an hour and a
+half in that discourse, so he answered all my objections, and
+fortified his discourse with all the arguments that human wit
+and art could devise.
+
+I cannot say, however, that anything he said made impression
+enough upon me so as to give me any thought of the matter,
+till he told me at last very plainly, that if I refused, he was
+sorry to add that he could never go on with me in that station
+as we stood before; that though he loved me as well as ever,
+and that I was as agreeable to him as ever, yet sense of virtue
+had not so far forsaken him as to suffer him to lie with a
+woman that his brother courted to make his wife; and if he
+took his leave of me, with a denial in this affair, whatever he
+might do for me in the point of support, grounded on his first
+engagement of maintaining me, yet he would not have me be
+surprised that he was obliged to tell me he could not allow
+himself to see me any more; and that, indeed, I could not
+expect it of him.
+
+I received this last part with some token of surprise and
+disorder, and had much ado to avoid sinking down, for indeed
+I loved him to an extravagance not easy to imagine; but he
+perceived my disorder.  He entreated me to consider seriously
+of it; assured me that it was the only way to preserve our
+mutual affection; that in this station we might love as friends,
+with the utmost passion, and with a love of relation untainted,
+free from our just reproaches, and free from other people's
+suspicions; that he should ever acknowledge his happiness
+owing to me; that he would be debtor to me as long as he
+lived, and would be paying that debt as long as he had breath.
+Thus he wrought me up, in short, to a kind of hesitation in the
+matter; having the dangers on one side represented in lively
+figures, and indeed, heightened by my imagination of being
+turned out to the wide world a mere cast-off whore, for it was
+no less, and perhaps exposed as such, with little to provide for
+ myself, with no friend, no acquaintance in the whole world,
+out of that town, and there I could not pretend to stay.  All
+this terrified me to the last degree, and he took care upon all
+occasions to lay it home to me in the worst colours that it could
+be possible to be drawn in.  On the other hand, he failed not to
+set forth the easy, prosperous life which I was going to live.
+
+He answered all that I could object from affection, and from
+former engagements, with telling me the necessity that was
+before us of taking other measures now; and as to his promises
+of marriage, the nature of things, he said, had put an end to
+that, by the probability of my being his brother's wife, before
+the time to which his promises all referred.
+
+Thus, in a word, I may say, he reasoned me out of my reason;
+he conquered all my arguments, and I began to see a danger
+that I was in, which I had not considered of before, and that
+was, of being dropped by both of them and left alone in the
+world to shift for myself.
+
+This, and his persuasion, at length prevailed with me to
+consent, though with so much reluctance, that it was easy to
+see I should go to church like a bear to the stake.  I had some
+little apprehensions about me, too, lest my new spouse, who,
+by the way, I had not the least affection for, should be skillful
+enough to challenge me on another account, upon our first
+coming to bed together.  But whether he did it with design or
+not, I know not, but his elder brother took care to make him
+very much fuddled before he went to bed, so that I had the
+satisfaction of a drunken bedfellow the first night.  How he
+did it I know not, but I concluded that he certainly contrived
+it, that his brother might be able to make no judgment of the
+difference between a maid and a married woman; nor did he
+ever entertain any notions of it, or disturb his thoughts about it.
+
+I should go back a little here to where I left off.  The elder
+brother having thus managed me, his next business was to
+manage his mother, and he never left till he had brought her
+to acquiesce and be passive in the thing, even without
+acquainting the father, other than by post letters; so that she
+consented to our marrying privately, and leaving her to mange
+the father afterwards.
+
+Then he cajoled with his brother, and persuaded him what
+service he had done him, and how he had brought his mother
+to consent, which, though true, was not indeed done to serve
+him, but to serve himself; but thus diligently did he cheat him,
+and had the thanks of a faithful friend for shifting off his whore
+into his brother's arms for a wife.  So certainly does interest
+banish all manner of affection, and so naturally do men give
+up honour and justice, humanity, and even Christianity, to
+secure themselves.
+
+I must now come back to brother Robin, as we always called
+him, who having got his mother's consent, as above, came
+big with the news to me, and told me the whole story of it,
+with a sincerity so visible, that I must confess it grieved me
+that I must be the instrument to abuse so honest a gentleman.
+But there was no remedy; he would have me, and I was not
+obliged to tell him that I was his brother's whore, though I had
+no other way to put him off; so I came gradually into it, to his
+satisfaction, and behold we were married.
+
+Modesty forbids me to reveal the secrets of the marriage-bed,
+but nothing could have happened more suitable to my
+circumstances than that, as above, my husband was so fuddled
+when he came to bed, that he could not remember in the
+morning whether he had had any conversation with me or no,
+and I was obliged to tell him he had, though in reality he had
+not, that I might be sure he could make to inquiry about
+anything else.
+
+It concerns the story in hand very little to enter into the further
+particulars of the family, or of myself, for the five years that I
+lived with this husband, only to observe that I had two children
+by him, and that at the end of five years he died.  He had been
+really a very good husband to me, and we lived very agreeably
+together; but as he had not received much from them, and had
+in the little time he lived acquired no great matters, so my
+circumstances were not great, nor was I much mended by the
+match.  Indeed, I had preserved the elder brother's bonds to
+me, to pay #500, which he offered me for my consent to marry
+his brother; and this, with what I had saved of the money he
+formerly gave me, about as much more by my husband, left me
+a widow with about #1200 in my pocket.
+
+My two children were, indeed, taken happily off my hands by
+my husband's father and mother, and that, by the way, was all
+they got by Mrs. Betty.
+
+I confess I was not suitably affected with the loss of my husband,
+nor indeed can I say that I ever loved him as I ought to have
+done, or as was proportionable to the good usage I had from
+him, for he was a tender, kind, good-humoured man as any
+woman could desire; but his brother being so always in my
+sight, at least while we were in the country, was a continual
+snare to me, and I never was in bed with my husband but I
+wished myself in the arms of his brother; and though his brother
+never offered me the least kindness that way after our marriage,
+but carried it just as a brother out to do, yet it was impossible
+for me to do so to him; in short, I committed adultery and incest
+with him every day in my desires, which, without doubt, was as
+effectually criminal in the nature of the guilt as if I had actually
+done it.
+
+Before my husband died his elder brother was married, and
+we, being then removed to London, were written to by the old
+lady to come and be at the wedding.  My husband went, but I
+pretended indisposition, and that I could not possibly travel,
+so I stayed behind; for, in short, I could not bear the sight of
+his being given to another woman, though I knew I was never
+to have him myself.
+
+I was now, as above, left loose to the world, and being still
+young and handsome, as everybody said of me, and I assure
+you I thought myself so, and with a tolerable fortune in my
+pocket, I put no small value upon myself.  I was courted by
+several very considerable tradesmen, and particularly very
+warmly by one, a linen-draper, at whose house, after my
+husband's death, I took a lodging, his sister being my acquaintance.
+Here I had all the liberty and all the opportunity to be gay and
+appear in company that I could desire, my landlord's sister
+being one of the maddest, gayest things alive, and not so much
+mistress of her virtue as I thought as first she had been.  She
+brought me into a world of  wild company, and even brought
+home several persons, such as she liked well enough to gratify,
+to see her pretty widow, so she was pleased to call me, and
+that name I got in a little time in public.  Now, as fame and
+fools make an assembly, I was here wonderfully caressed, had
+abundance of admirers, and such as called themselves lovers;
+but I found not one fair proposal among them all.  As for their
+common design, that I understood too well to be drawn into
+any more snares of that kind.  The case was altered with me:
+I had money in my pocket, and had nothing to say to them.  I
+had been tricked once by that cheat called love, but the game
+was over;  I was resolved now to be married or nothing, and
+to be well married or not at all.
+
+I loved the company, indeed, of men of mirth and wit, men of
+gallantry and figure, and was often entertained with such, as
+I was also with others; but I found by just observation, that the
+brightest men came upon the dullest errand--that is to say, the
+dullest as to what I aimed at.  On the other hand, those who
+came with the best proposals were the dullest and most
+disagreeable part of the world.  I was not averse to a tradesman,
+but then I would have a tradesman, forsooth, that was
+something of a gentleman too; that when my husband had a
+mind to carry me to the court, or to the play, he might become
+a sword, and look as like a gentleman as another man; and not
+be one that had the mark of his apron-strings upon his coat,
+or the mark of his hat upon his periwig; that should look as if
+he was set on to his sword, when his sword was put on to him,
+and that carried his trade in his countenance.
+
+Well, at last I found this amphibious creature, this land-water
+thing called a gentleman-tradesman; and as a just plague upon
+my folly, I was catched in the very snare which, as I might say,
+I laid for myself.  I said for myself, for I was not trepanned,
+I confess, but I betrayed myself.
+
+This was a draper, too, for though my comrade would have
+brought me to a bargain with her brother, yet when it came to
+the point, it was, it seems, for a mistress, not a wife; and I kept
+true to this notion, that a woman should never be kept for a
+mistress that had money to keep herself.
+
+Thus my pride, not my principle, my money, not my virtue,
+kept me honest; though, as it proved, I found I had much better
+have been sold by my she-comrade to her brother, than have
+sold myself as I did to a tradesman that was rake, gentleman,
+shopkeeper, and beggar, all together.
+
+But I was hurried on (by my fancy to a gentleman) to ruin
+myself in the grossest manner that every woman did; for my
+new husband coming to a lump of money at once, fell into
+such a profusion of expense, that all I had, and all he had
+before, if he had anything worth mentioning, would not have
+held it out above one year.
+
+He was very fond of me for about a quarter of a year, and
+what I got by that was, that I had the pleasure of seeing a great
+deal of my money spent upon myself, and, as I may say, had
+some of the spending it too.  'Come, my dear,' says he to me
+one day, 'shall we go and take a turn into the country for about
+a week?' 'Ay, my dear,' says I, 'whither would you go?'  'I
+care not whither,' says he, 'but I have a mind to look like
+quality for a week.  We'll go to Oxford,' says he.  'How,' says
+I, 'shall we go? I am no horsewoman, and 'tis too far for a coach.'
+'Too far!' says he; 'no place is too far for a coach-and-six.  If
+I carry you out, you shall travel like a duchess.'  'Hum,' says
+I, 'my dear, 'tis a frolic; but if you have a mind to it, I don't
+care.'  Well, the time was appointed, we had a rich coach, very
+good horses, a coachman, postillion, and two footmen in very
+good liveries; a gentleman on horseback, and a page with a
+feather in his hat upon another horse.  The servants all called
+him my lord, and the inn-keepers, you may be sure, did the like,
+and I was her honour the Countess, and thus we traveled to
+Oxford, and a very pleasant journey we had; for, give him his
+due, not a beggar alive knew better how to be a lord than my
+husband.  We saw all the rarities at Oxford, talked with two or
+three Fellows of colleges about putting out a young nephew,
+that was left to his lordship's care, to the University, and of
+their being his tutors.  We diverted ourselves with bantering
+several other poor scholars, with hopes of being at least his
+lordship's chaplains and putting on a scarf; and thus having
+lived like quality indeed, as to expense, we went away for
+Northampton, and, in a word, in about twelve days' ramble
+came home again, to the tune of about #93 expense.
+
+Vanity is the perfection of a fop.  My husband had this
+excellence, that he valued nothing of expense; and as his
+history, you may be sure, has very little weight in it, 'tis
+enough to tell you that in about two years and a quarter he
+broke, and was not so happy to get over into the Mint, but got
+into a sponging-house, being arrested in an action too heavy
+from him to give bail to, so he sent for me to come to him.
+
+It was no surprise to me, for I had foreseen some time that
+all was going to wreck, and had been taking care to reserve
+something if I could, though it was not much, for myself.  But
+when he sent for me, he behaved much better than I expected,
+and told me plainly he had played the fool, and suffered
+himself to be surprised, which he might have prevented; that
+now he foresaw he could not stand it, and therefore he would
+have me go home, and in the night take away everything I had
+in the house of any value, and secure it; and after that, he told
+me that if I could get away one hundred or two hundred pounds
+in goods out of the shop, I should do it; 'only,' says he, 'let me
+know nothing of it, neither what you take nor whither you
+carry it; for as for me,' says he, 'I am resolved to get out of
+this house and be gone; and if you never hear of me more, my
+dear,' says he, 'I wish you well; I am only sorry for the injury
+I have done you.'  He said some very handsome things to me
+indeed at parting; for I told you he was a gentleman, and that
+was all the benefit  I had of his being so; that he used me very
+handsomely and with good manners upon all occasions, even
+to the last, only spent all I had, and left me to rob the creditors
+for something to subsist on.
+
+However, I did as he bade me, that you may be sure; and
+having thus taken my leave of him, I never saw him more, for
+he found means to break out of the bailiff's house that night
+or the next, and go over into France, and for the rest of the
+creditors scrambled for it as well as they could.  How, I knew
+not, for I could come at no knowledge of anything, more than
+this, that he came home about three o'clock in the morning,
+caused the rest of his goods to be removed into the Mint, and
+the shop to be shut up; and having raised what money he could
+get together, he got over, as I said, to France, from whence I
+had one or two letters from him, and no more.  I did not see him
+when he came home, for he having given me such instructions
+as above, and I having made the best of my time, I had no more
+business back again at the house, not knowing but I might have
+been stopped there by the creditors; for a commission of
+bankrupt being soon after issued, they might have stopped me
+by orders from the commissioners.  But my husband, having
+so dexterously got out of the bailiff's house by letting himself
+down in a most desperate manner from almost the top of the
+house to the top of another building, and leaping from thence,
+which was almost two storeys, and which was enough indeed
+to have broken his neck, he came home and got away his goods
+before the creditors could come to seize; that is to say, before
+they could get out the commission, and be ready to send their
+officers to take possession.
+
+My husband was so civil to me, for still I say he was much
+of a gentleman, that in the first letter he wrote me from France,
+he let me know where he had pawned twenty pieces of fine
+holland for #30, which were really worth #90, and enclosed
+me the token and an order for the taking them up, paying the
+money, which I did, and made in time above #100 of them,
+having leisure to cut them and sell them, some and some, to
+private families, as opportunity offered.
+
+However, with all this, and all that I had secured before, I
+found, upon casting things up, my case was very much altered,
+any my fortune much lessened; for, including the hollands and
+a parcel of fine muslins, which I carried off before, and some
+plate, and other things, I found I could hardly muster up #500;
+and my condition was very odd, for though I had no child (I
+had had one by my gentleman draper, but it was buried), yet I
+was a widow bewitched; I had a husband and no husband, and
+I could not pretend to marry again, though I knew well enough
+my husband would never see England any more, if he lived fifty
+years.  Thus, I say, I was limited from marriage, what offer
+might soever be made me; and I had not one friend to advise
+with in the condition I was in, least not one I durst trust the
+secret of my circumstances to, for if the commissioners were
+to have been informed where I was, I should have been fetched
+up and examined upon oath, and all I have saved be taken away
+from me.
+
+Upon these apprehensions, the first thing I did was to go quite
+out of my knowledge, and go by another name.  This I did
+effectually, for I went into the Mint too, took lodgings in a
+very private place, dressed up in the habit of a widow, and
+called myself Mrs. Flanders.
+
+Here, however, I concealed myself, and though my new
+acquaintances knew nothing of me, yet I soon got a great
+deal of company about me; and whether it be that women are
+scarce among the sorts of people that generally are to be found
+there, or that some consolations in the miseries of the place
+are more requisite than on other occasions, I soon found an
+agreeable woman was exceedingly valuable among the sons
+of affliction there, and that those that wanted money to pay
+half a crown on the pound to their creditors, and that run in debt
+at the sign of the Bull for their dinners, would yet find money
+for a supper, if they liked the woman.
+
+However, I kept myself safe yet, though I began, like my Lord
+Rochester's mistress, that loved his company, but would not
+admit him farther, to have the scandal of a whore, without the
+joy; and upon this score, tired with the place, and indeed
+with the company too, I began to think of removing.
+
+It was indeed a subject of strange reflection to me to see men
+who were overwhelmed in perplexed circumstances, who
+were reduced some degrees below being ruined, whose families
+were objects of their own terror and other people's charity,
+yet while a penny lasted, nay, even beyond it, endeavouring to
+drown themselves, labouring to forget former things, which
+now it was the proper time to remember, making more work for
+repentance, and sinning on, as a remedy for sin past.
+
+But it is none of my talent to preach; these men were too
+wicked, even for me.  There was something horrid and absurd
+in their way of sinning, for it was all a force even upon
+themselves; they did not only act against conscience, but
+against nature; they put a rape upon their temper to drown the
+reflections, which their circumstances continually gave them;
+and nothing was more easy than to see how sighs would
+interrupt their songs, and paleness and anguish sit upon their
+brows, in spite of the forced smiles they put on; nay, sometimes
+it would break out at their very mouths when they had parted
+with their money for a lewd treat or a wicked embrace.  I have
+heard them, turning about, fetch a deep sigh, and cry, 'What a
+dog am I!  Well, Betty, my dear, I'll drink thy health, though';
+meaning the honest wife, that perhaps had not a half-crown
+for herself and three or four children.  The next morning they
+are at their penitentials again; and perhaps the poor weeping
+wife comes over to him, either brings him some account of
+what his creditors are doing, and how she and the children are
+turned out of doors, or some other dreadful news; and this
+adds to his self-reproaches; but when he has thought and pored
+on it till he is almost mad, having no principles to support him,
+nothing within him or above him to comfort him, but finding
+it all darkness on every side, he flies to the same relief again,
+viz. to drink it away, debauch it away, and falling into
+company of men in just the same condition with himself, he
+repeats the crime, and thus he goes every day one step
+onward of his way to destruction.
+
+I was not wicked enough for such fellows as these yet.  On
+the contrary, I began to consider here very seriously what I
+had to do; how things stood with me, and what course I ought
+to take.  I knew I had no friends, no, not one friend or relation
+in the world; and that little I had left apparently wasted, which
+when it was gone, I saw nothing but misery and starving was
+before me.  Upon these considerations, I say, and filled with
+horror at the place I was in, and the dreadful objects which I
+had always before me, I resolved to be gone.
+
+I had made an acquaintance with a very sober, good sort of a
+woman, who was a widow too, like me, but in better circumstances.
+Her husband had been a captain of a merchant ship, and having
+had the misfortune to be cast away coming home on a voyage
+from the West Indies, which would have been very profitable
+if he had come safe, was so reduced by the loss, that though
+he had saved his life then, it broke his heart, and killed him
+afterwards; and his widow, being pursued by the creditors, was
+forced to take shelter in the Mint.  She soon made things up
+with the help of friends, and was at liberty again; and finding
+that I rather was there to be concealed, than by any particular
+prosecutions and finding also that I agreed with her, or rather
+she with me, in a just abhorrence of the place and of the
+company, she invited to go home with her till I could put
+myself in some posture of settling in the world to my mind;
+withal telling me, that it was ten to one but some good captain
+of a ship might take a fancy to me, and court me, in that part
+of the town where she lived.
+
+I accepted her offer, and was with her half a year, and should
+have been longer, but in that interval what she proposed to me
+happened to herself, and she married very much to her advantage.
+But whose fortune soever was upon the increase, mine seemed
+to be upon the wane, and I found nothing present, except two
+or three boatswains, or such fellows, but as for the commanders,
+they were generally of two sorts:  1. Such as, having good
+business, that is to say, a good ship, resolved not to marry
+but with advantage, that is, with a good fortune; 2. Such as,
+being out of employ, wanted a wife to help them to a ship; I
+mean (1) a wife who, having some money, could enable them
+to hold, as they call it, a good part of a ship themselves, so to
+encourage owners to come in; or (2) a wife who, if she had not
+money, had friends who were concerned in shipping, and so
+could help to put the young man into a good ship, which to
+them is as good as a portion; and neither of these was my case,
+so I looked like one that was to lie on hand.
+
+This knowledge I soon learned by experience, viz. that the
+state of things was altered as to  matrimony, and that I was not
+to expect at London what I had found in the country:  that
+marriages were here the consequences of politic schemes for
+forming interests, and carrying on business, and that Love had
+no share, or but very little, in the matter.
+
+That as my sister-in-law at Colchester had said, beauty, wit,
+manners, sense, good humour, good behaviour, education,
+virtue, piety, or any other qualification, whether of body or
+mind, had no power to recommend; that money only made a
+woman agreeable; that men chose mistresses indeed by the
+gust of their affection, and it was requisite to a whore to be
+handsome, well-shaped, have a good mien and a graceful
+behaviour; but that for a wife, no deformity would shock the
+fancy, no ill qualities the judgment; the money was the thing;
+the portion was neither crooked nor monstrous, but the money
+was always agreeable, whatever the wife was.
+
+On the other hand, as the market ran very unhappily on the
+men's side, I found the women had lost the privilege of saying
+No; that it was a favour now for a woman to have the Question
+asked, and if any young lady had so much arrogance as to
+counterfeit a negative, she never had the opportunity given
+her of denying twice, much less of recovering that false step,
+and accepting what she had but seemed to decline.  The men
+had such choice everywhere, that the case of the women was
+very unhappy; for they seemed to ply at every door, and if the
+man was by great chance refused at one house, he was sure to
+be received at the next.
+
+Besides this, I observed that the men made no scruple to set
+themselves out, and to go a-fortunehunting, as they call it,
+when they had really no fortune themselves to demand it, or
+merit to deserve it; and that they carried it so high, that a woman
+was scarce allowed to inquire after the character or estate of
+the person that pretended to her.  This I had an example of, in
+a young lady in the next house to me, and with whom I had
+contracted an intimacy; she was courted by a young captain,
+and though she had near #2000 to her fortune, she did but
+inquire of some of his neighbours about his character, his
+morals, or substance, and he took occasion at the next visit to
+let her know, truly, that he took it very ill, and that he should
+not give her the trouble of his visits any more.  I heard of it,
+and I had begun my acquaintance with her, I went to see her
+upon it.  She entered into a close conversation with me about
+it, and unbosomed herself very freely.  I perceived presently
+that though she thought herself very ill used, yet she had no
+power to resent it, and was exceedingly piqued that she had
+lost him, and particularly that another of  less fortune had
+gained him.
+
+I fortified her mind against such a meanness, as I called it; I
+told her, that as low as I was in the world, I would have
+despised a man that should think I ought to take him upon his
+own recommendation only, without having the liberty to
+inform myself of his fortune and of his character; also I told
+her, that as she had a good fortune, she had no need to stoop
+to the disaster of the time; that it was enough that the men
+could insult us that had but little money to recommend us, but
+if she suffered such an affront to pass upon her without resenting
+it, she would be rendered low-prized upon all occasions, and
+would be the contempt of all the women in that part of the town;
+that a woman can never want an opportunity to be revenged
+of a man that has used her ill, and that there were ways enough
+to humble such a fellow as that, or else certainly women were
+the most unhappy creatures in the world.
+
+I found she was very well pleased with the discourse, and she
+told me seriously that she would be very glad to make him
+sensible of her just resentment, and either to bring him on again,
+ or have the satisfaction of her revenge being as public as possible.
+
+I told her, that if she would take my advice, I would tell her
+how she should obtain her wishes in both those things, and
+that I would engage I would bring the man to her door again,
+and make him beg to be let in.  She smiled at that, and soon
+let me see, that if he came to her door, her resentment was
+not so great as to give her leave to let him stand long there.
+
+However, she listened very willingly to my offer of advice;
+so I told her that the first thing she ought to do was a piece
+of justice to herself, namely, that whereas she had been told
+by several people that he had reported among the ladies that
+he had left her, and pretended to give the advantage of the
+negative to himself, she should take care to have it well spread
+among the women--which she could not fail of an opportunity
+to do in a neighbourhood so addicted to family news as that
+she live in was--that she had inquired into his circumstances,
+and found he was not the man as to estate he pretended to be.
+'Let them be told, madam,' said I, 'that you had been well
+informed that he was not the man that you expected, and that
+you thought it was not safe to meddle with him; that you heard
+he was of an ill temper, and that he boasted how he had used
+the women ill upon many occasions, and that particularly he
+was debauched in his morals', etc.  The last of which, indeed,
+had some truth in it; but at the same time I did not find that
+she seemed to like him much the worse for that part.
+
+As I had put this into her head, she came most readily into it.
+Immediately she went to work to find instruments, and she
+had very little difficulty in the search, for telling her story in
+general to a couple of gossips in the neighbourhood, it was the
+chat of the tea-table all over that part of the town, and I met
+with it wherever I visited; also, as it was known that I was
+acquainted with the young lady herself, my opinion was asked
+very often, and I confirmed it with all the necessary aggravations,
+and set out his character in the blackest colours; but then as a
+piece of secret intelligence, I added, as what the other gossips
+knew nothing of, viz. that I had heard he was in very bad
+circumstances; that he was under a necessity of a fortune to
+support his interest with the owners of the ship he commanded;
+that his own part was not paid for, and if it was not paid quickly,
+his owners would put him out of the ship, and his chief mate
+was likely to command it, who offered to buy that part which
+the captain had promised to take.
+
+I added, for I confess I was heartily piqued at the rogue, as I
+called him, that I had heard a rumour, too, that he had a wife
+alive at Plymouth, and another in the West Indies, a thing which
+they all knew was not very uncommon for such kind of gentlemen.
+
+This worked as we both desire it, for presently the young lady
+next door, who had a father and mother that governed both
+her and her fortune, was shut up, and her father forbid him the
+house.  Also in one place more where he went, the woman had
+the courage, however strange it was, to say No; and he could
+try nowhere but he was reproached with his pride, and that he
+pretended not to give the women leave to inquire into his
+character, and the like.
+
+Well, by this time he began to be sensible of his mistake; and
+having alarmed all the women on that side of the water, he
+went over to Ratcliff, and got access to some of the ladies
+there; but though the young women there too were, according
+to the fate of the day, pretty willing to be asked, yet such was
+his ill-luck, that his character followed him over the water and
+his good name was much the same there as it was on our side;
+so that though he might have had wives enough, yet it did not
+happen among the women that had good fortunes, which was
+what he wanted.
+
+But this was not all; she very ingeniously managed another
+thing herself, for she got a young gentleman, who as a relation,
+and was indeed a married man, to come and visit her two or
+three times a week in a very fine chariot and good liveries, and
+her two agents, and I also, presently spread a report all over,
+that this gentleman came to court her; that he was a gentleman
+of a #1000 a year, and that he was fallen in love with her, and
+that she was going to her aunt's in the city, because it was
+inconvenient for the gentleman to come to her with his coach
+in Redriff, the streets being so narrow and difficult.
+
+This took immediately.  The captain was laughed at in all
+companies, and was ready to hang himself.  He tried all the
+ways possible to come at her again, and wrote the most
+passionate letters to her in the world, excusing his former
+rashness; and in short, by great application, obtained leave to
+wait on her again, as he said, to clear his reputation.
+
+
+At this meeting she had her full revenge of him; for she told
+him she wondered what he took her to be, that she should
+admit any man to a treaty of so much consequence as that to
+marriage, without inquiring very well into his circumstances;
+that if he thought she was to be huffed into wedlock, and that
+she was in the same circumstances which her neighbours might
+be in, viz. to take up with the first good Christian that came,
+he was mistaken; that, in a word, his character was really bad,
+or he was very ill beholden to his neighbours; and that unless
+he could clear up some points, in which she had justly been
+prejudiced, she had no more to say to him, but to do herself
+justice, and give him the satisfaction of knowing that she was
+not afraid to say No, either to him or any man else.
+
+With that she told him what she had heard, or rather raised
+herself by my means, of his character; his not having paid for
+the part he pretended to own of the ship he commanded; of
+the resolution of his owners to put him out of the command,
+and to put his mate in his stead; and of the scandal raised on
+his morals; his having been reproached with such-and-such
+women, and having a wife at Plymouth and in the West Indies,
+and the like; and she asked him whether he could deny that she
+had good reason, if these things were not cleared up, to refuse
+him, and in the meantime to insist upon having satisfaction in
+points to significant as they were.
+
+He was so confounded at her discourse that he could not
+answer a word, and she almost began to believe that all was
+true, by his disorder, though at the same time she knew that
+she had been the raiser of all those reports herself.
+
+After some time he recovered himself a little, and from that
+time became the most humble, the most modest, and most
+importunate man alive in his courtship.
+
+She carried her jest on a great way.  She asked him, if he
+thought she was so at her last shift that she could or ought to
+bear such treatment, and if he did not see that she did not
+want those who thought it worth their while to come farther
+to her than he did; meaning the gentleman whom she had
+brought to visit her by way of sham.
+
+She brought him by these tricks to submit to all possible
+measures to satisfy her, as well of his circumstances as of his
+behaviour.  He brought her undeniable evidence of his having
+paid for his part of the ship; he brought her certificates from
+his owners, that the report of their intending to remove him
+from the command of the ship and put his chief mate in was
+false and groundless; in short, he was quite the reverse of what
+he was before.
+
+Thus I convinced her, that if the men made their advantage
+of our sex in the affair of marriage, upon the supposition of
+there being such choice to be had, and of the women being
+so easy, it was only owing to this, that the women wanted
+courage to maintain their ground and to play their part; and
+that, according to my Lord Rochester,
+
+     'A woman's ne'er so ruined but she can
+     Revenge herself on her undoer, Man.'
+
+After these things this young lady played her part so well, that
+though she resolved to have him, and that indeed having him
+was the main bent of her design, yet she made his obtaining
+her be to him the most difficult thing in the world; and this she
+did, not by a haughty reserved carriage, but by a just policy,
+turning the tables upon him, and playing back upon him his
+own game; for as he pretended, by a kind of lofty carriage, to
+place himself above the occasion of a character, and to make
+inquiring into his character a kind of an affront to him, she
+broke with him upon that subject, and at the same time that
+she make him submit to all possible inquiry after his affairs,
+she apparently shut the door against his looking into her own.
+
+It was enough to him to obtain her for a wife.  As to what
+she had, she told him plainly, that as he knew her circumstances,
+it was but just she should know his; and though at the same
+time he had only known her circumstances by common fame,
+yet he had made so many protestations of his passion for her,
+that he could ask no more but her hand to his grand request,
+and the like ramble according to the custom of lovers.  In short,
+he left himself no room to ask any more questions about her
+estate, and she took the advantage of it like a prudent woman,
+for she placed part of her fortune so in trustees, without letting
+him know anything of it, that it was quite out of his reach, and
+made him be very well content with the rest.
+
+It is true she was pretty well besides, that is to say, she had
+about #1400 in money, which she gave him; and the other,
+after some time, she brought to light as a perquisite to herself,
+which he was to accept as a mighty favour, seeing though it
+was not to be his, it might ease him in the article of her particular
+expenses; and I must add, that by this conduct the gentleman
+himself became not only the more humble in his applications
+to her to obtain her, but also was much the more an obliging
+husband to her when he had her.  I cannot but remind the ladies
+here how much they place themselves below the common
+station of a wife, which, if I may be allowed not to be partial,
+is low enough already; I say, they place themselves below their
+common station, and prepare their own mortifications, by their
+submitting so to be insulted by the men beforehand, which I
+confess I see no necessity of.
+
+This relation may serve, therefore, to let the ladies see that
+the advantage is not so much on the other side as the men
+think it is; and though it may be true that the men have but too
+much choice among us, and that some women may be found
+who will dishonour themselves, be cheap, and easy to come
+at, and will scarce wait to be asked, yet if they will have women,
+as I may say, worth having, they may find them as uncomeatable
+as ever and that those that are otherwise are a sort of people
+that have such deficiencies, when had, as rather recommend
+the ladies that are difficult than encourage the men to go on
+with their easy courtship, and expect wives equally valuable
+that will come at first call.
+
+Nothing is more certain than that the ladies always gain of the
+men by keeping their ground, and letting their pretended
+lovers see they can resent being slighted, and that they are not
+afraid of saying No.  They, I observe, insult us mightily with
+telling us of the number of women; that the wars, and the sea,
+and trade, and other incidents have carried the men so much
+away, that there is no proportion between the numbers of the
+sexes, and therefore the women have the disadvantage; but I
+am far from granting that the number of women is so great,
+or the number of men so small; but if they will have me tell
+the truth, the disadvantage of the women is a terrible scandal
+upon the men, and it lies here, and here only; namely, that the
+age is so wicked, and the sex so debauched, that, in short, the
+number of such men as an honest woman ought to meddle
+with is small indeed, and it is but here and there that a man is
+to be found who is fit for a woman to venture upon.
+
+But the consequence even of that too amounts to no more
+than this, that women ought to be the more nice; for how do
+we know the just character of the man that makes the offer?
+To say that the woman should be the more easy on this
+occasion, is to say we should be the forwarder to venture
+because of the greatness of the danger, which, in my way of
+reasoning, is very absurd.
+
+On the contrary, the women have ten thousand times the more
+reason to be wary and backward, by how much the hazard of
+being betrayed is the greater; and would the ladies consider
+this, and act the wary part, they would discover every cheat
+that offered; for, in short, the lives of very few men nowadays
+will bear a character; and if the ladies do but make a little
+inquiry, they will soon be able to distinguish the men and
+deliver themselves.  As for women that do not think their own
+safety worth their thought, that, impatient of their perfect state,
+resolve, as they call it, to take the first good Christian that
+comes, that run into matrimony as a horse rushes into the battle,
+I can say nothing to them but this, that they are a sort of ladies
+that are to be prayed for among the rest of distempered people,
+and to me they look like people that venture their whole estates
+in a lottery where there is a hundred thousand blanks to one prize.
+
+No man of common-sense will value a woman the less for not
+giving up herself at the first attack, or for accepting his proposal
+without inquiring into his person or character; on the contrary,
+he must think her the weakest of all creatures in the world, as
+the rate of men now goes.  In short, he must have a very
+contemptible opinion of her capacities, nay, every of her
+understanding, that, having but one case of her life, shall call
+that life away at once, and make matrimony, like death, be a
+leap in the dark.
+
+I would fain have the conduct of my sex a little regulated in
+this particular, which is the thing in which, of all the parts of
+life, I think at this time we suffer most in; 'tis nothing but lack
+of courage, the fear of not being married at all, and of that
+frightful state of life called an old maid, of which I have a
+story to tell by itself.  This, I say, is the woman's snare; but
+would the ladies once but get above that fear and manage
+rightly, they would more certainly avoid it by standing their
+ground, in a case so absolutely necessary to their felicity, that
+by exposing themselves as they do; and if they did not marry
+so soon as they may do otherwise, they would make themselves
+amends by marrying safer.  She is always married too soon who
+gets a bad husband, and she is never married too late who gets
+a good one; in a word, there is no woman, deformity or lost
+reputation excepted, but if she manages well, may be married
+safely one time or other; but if she precipitates herself, it is ten
+thousand to one but she is undone.
+
+But I come now to my own case, in which there was at this
+time no little nicety.  The circumstances I was in made the
+offer of a good husband the most necessary thing in the world
+to me, but I found soon that to be made cheap and easy was
+not the way.  It soon began to be found that the widow had
+no fortune, and to say this was to say all that was ill of me,
+for I began to be dropped in all the discourses of matrimony.
+Being well-bred, handsome, witty, modest, and agreeable; all
+which I had allowed to my character--whether justly or no is
+not the purpose--I say, all these would not do without the
+dross, which way now become more valuable than virtue itself.
+In short, the widow, they said, had no money.
+
+I resolved, therefore, as to the state of my present circumstances,
+that it was absolutely necessary to change my station, and make
+a new appearance in some other place where I was not known,
+and even to pass by another name if I found occasion.
+
+I communicated my thoughts to my intimate friend, the captain's
+lady, whom I had so faithfully served in her case with the
+captain, and who was as ready to serve me in the same kind
+as I could desire.  I made no scruple to lay my circumstances
+open to her; my stock was but low, for I had made but about
+#540 at the close of my last affair, and I had wasted some of
+that; however, I had about #460 left, a great many very rich
+clothes, a gold watch, and some jewels, though of no
+extraordinary value, and about #30 or #40 left in linen not
+disposed of.
+
+My dear and faithful friend, the captain's wife, was so sensible
+of the service I had done her in the affair above, that she was
+not only a steady friend to me, but, knowing my circumstances,
+she frequently made me presents as money came into her
+hands, such as fully amounted to a maintenance, so that I spent
+none of my own; and at last she made this unhappy proposal
+to me, viz. that as we had observed, as above, how the men
+made no scruple to set themselves out as persons meriting a
+woman of fortune, when they had really no fortune of their
+own, it was but just to deal with them in their own way and,
+if it was possible, to deceive the deceiver.
+
+The captain's lady, in short, put this project into my head, and
+told me if I would be ruled by her I should certainly get a
+husband of fortune, without leaving him any room to reproach
+me with want of my own.  I told her, as I had reason to do,
+that I would give up myself wholly to her directions, and that
+I would have neither tongue to speak nor feet to step in that
+affair but as she should direct me, depending that she would
+extricate me out of every difficulty she brought me into,
+which she said she would answer for.
+
+The first step she put me upon was to call her cousin, and to
+to a relation's house of hers in the country, where she directed
+me, and where she brought her husband to visit me; and calling
+me cousin, she worked matters so about, that her husband
+and she together invited me most passionately to come to town
+and be with them, for they now live in a quite different place
+from where they were before.  In the next place, she tells her
+husband that I had at least #1500 fortune, and that after some
+of my relations I was like to have a great deal more.
+
+It was enough to tell her husband this; there needed nothing
+on my side.  I was but to sit still and wait the event, for it
+presently went all over the neighbourhood that the young
+widow at Captain ----'s was a fortune, that she had at least
+#1500, and perhaps a great deal more, and that the captain
+said so; and if the captain was asked at any time about me,
+he made no scruple to affirm it, though he knew not one word
+of the matter, other  than that his wife had told him so; and in
+this he thought no harm, for he really believed it to be so,
+because he had it from his wife:  so slender a foundation will
+those fellows build upon, if they do but think there is a fortune
+in the game.  With the reputation of this fortune, I presently
+found myself blessed with admirers enough, and that I had my
+choice of men, as scarce as they said they were, which, by the
+way, confirms what I was saying before.  This being my case,
+I, who had a subtle game to play, had nothing now to do but
+to single out from them all the properest man that might be
+for my purpose; that is to say, the man who was most likely
+to depend upon the hearsay of a fortune, and not inquire too
+far into the particulars; and unless I did this I did nothing, for
+my case would not bear much inquiry.
+
+I picked out my man without much difficulty, by the judgment
+I made of his way of courting me.  I had let him run on with
+his protestations and oaths that he loved me above all the world;
+that if I would make him happy, that was enough; all which I
+knew was upon supposition, nay, it was upon a full satisfaction,
+that I was very rich, though I never told him a word of it myself.
+
+This was my man; but I was to try him to the bottom, and
+indeed in that consisted my safety; for if he baulked, I knew I
+was undone, as surely as he was undone if he took me; and
+if I did not make some scruple about his fortune, it was the
+way to lead him to raise some about mine; and first, therefore,
+I pretended on all occasions to doubt his sincerity, and told
+him, perhaps he only courted me for my fortune.  He stopped
+my mouth in that part with the thunder of his protestations,
+as above,  but still I pretended to doubt.
+
+One morning he pulls off his diamond ring, and writes upon
+the glass of the sash in my chamber this line--
+     'You I love, and you alone.'
+
+I read it, and asked him to lend me his ring, with which I wrote
+under it, thus--
+
+    'And so in love says every one.'
+
+He takes his ring again, and writes another line thus--
+
+     'Virtue alone is an estate.'
+
+I borrowed it again, and I wrote under it--
+
+     'But money's virtue, gold is fate.'
+
+He coloured as red as fire to see me turn so quick upon him,
+and in a kind of a rage told me he would conquer me, and
+writes again thus--
+
+     'I scorn your gold, and yet I love.'
+
+I ventured all upon the last cast of poetry, as you'll see, for I
+wrote boldly under his last--
+
+     'I'm poor:  let's see how kind you'll prove.'
+
+This was a sad truth to me; whether he believed me or no, I
+could not tell; I supposed then that he did not.  However, he
+flew to me, took me in his arms, and, kissing me very eagerly,
+and with the greatest passion imaginable, he held me fast till
+he called for a pen and ink, and then told me he could not wait
+the tedious writing on the glass, but, pulling out a piece of
+paper, he began and wrote again--
+
+     'Be mine, with all your poverty.'
+
+I took his pen, and followed him immediately, thus--
+
+     'Yet secretly you hope I lie.'
+
+He told me that was unkind, because it was not just, and that
+I put him upon contradicting me, which did not consist with
+good manners, any more than with his affection; and therefore,
+since I had insensibly drawn him into this poetical scribble, he
+begged I would not oblige him to break it off; so he writes
+again--
+
+     'Let love alone be our debate.'
+
+I wrote again--
+
+     'She loves enough that does not hate.'
+
+
+This he took for a favour, and so laid down the cudgels, that
+is to say, the pen; I say, he took if for a favour, and a mighty
+one it was, if he had known all.  However, he took it as I meant
+it, that is, to let him think I was inclined to go on with him, as
+indeed I had all the reason in the world to do, for he was the
+best-humoured, merry sort of a fellow that I ever met with,
+and I often reflected on myself how doubly criminal it was to
+deceive such a man; but that necessity, which pressed me to
+a settlement suitable to my condition, was my authority for it;
+and certainly his affection to me, and the goodness of his temper,
+however they might argue against using him ill, yet they strongly
+argued to me that he would better take the disappointment
+than some fiery-tempered wretch, who might have nothing to
+recommend him but those passions which would serve only to
+make a woman miserable all her days.
+
+Besides, though I jested with him (as he supposed it) so
+often about my poverty, yet, when he found it to be true, he
+had foreclosed all manner of objection, seeing, whether he
+was in jest or in earnest, he had declared he took me without
+any regard to my portion, and, whether I was in jest or in
+earnest, I had declared myself to be very poor; so that, in a
+word, I had him fast both ways; and though he might say
+afterwards he was cheated, yet he could never say that I had
+cheated him.
+
+He pursued me close after this, and as I saw there was no need
+to fear losing him, I played the indifferent part with him longer
+than prudence might otherwise have dictated to me.  But I
+considered how much this caution and indifference would give
+me the advantage over him, when I should come to be under
+the necessity of owning my own circumstances to him; and I
+managed it the more warily, because I found he inferred from
+thence, as indeed he ought to do, that I either had the more
+money or the more judgment, and would not venture at all.
+
+I took the freedom one day, after we had talked pretty close
+to the subject, to tell him that it was true I had received the
+compliment of a lover from him, namely, that he would take
+me without inquiring into my fortune, and I would make him
+a suitable return in this, viz. that I would make as little inquiry
+into his as consisted with reason, but I hoped he would allow
+me to ask a few questions, which he would answer or not as
+he thought fit; and that I would not be offended if he did not
+answer me at all; one of these questions related to our manner
+of living, and the place where, because I had heard he had a
+great plantation in Virginia, and that he had talked of going
+to live there, and I told him I did not care to be transported.
+
+He began from this discourse to let me voluntarily into all
+his affairs, and to tell me in a frank, open way all his
+circumstances, by which I found he was very well to pass in
+the world; but that great part of his estate consisted of three
+plantations, which he had in Virginia, which brought him in a
+very good income, generally speaking, to the tune of #300, a
+year, but that if he was to live upon them, would bring him in
+four times as much.  'Very well,' thought I; 'you shall carry
+me thither as soon as you please, though I won't tell you so
+beforehand.'
+
+I jested with him extremely about the figure he would make
+in Virginia; but I found he would do anything I desired, though
+he did not seem glad to have me undervalue his plantations,
+so I turned my tale.  I told him I had good reason not to go
+there to live, because if his plantations were worth so much
+there, I had not a fortune suitable to a gentleman of #1200 a
+year, as he said his estate would be.
+
+He replied generously, he did not ask what my fortune was;
+he had told me from the beginning he would not, and he would
+be as good as his word; but whatever it was, he assured me he
+would never desire me to go to Virginia with him, or go thither
+himself without me, unless I was perfectly willing, and made
+it my choice.
+
+All this, you may be sure, was as I wished, and indeed nothing
+could have happened more perfectly agreeable.  I carried it on
+as far as this with a sort of indifferency that he often wondered
+at, more than at first, but which was the only support of his
+courtship; and I mention it the rather to intimate again to the
+ladies that nothing but want of courage for such an indifferency
+makes our sex so cheap, and prepares them to be ill-used as
+they are; would they venture the loss of a pretending fop now
+and then, who carries it high upon the point of his own merit,
+they would certainly be less slighted, and courted more.  Had
+I discovered really and truly what my great fortune was, and
+that in all I had not full #500 when he expected #1500, yet I
+had hooked him so fast, and played him so long, that I was
+satisfied he would have had me in my worst circumstances;
+and indeed it was less a surprise to him when he learned the
+truth than it would have been, because having not the least
+blame to lay on me, who had carried it with an air of indifference
+to the last, he would not say one word, except that indeed he
+thought it had been more, but that if it had been less he did
+not repent his bargain; only that he should not be able to
+maintain me so well as he intended.
+
+In short, we were married, and very happily married on my
+side, I assure you, as to the man; for he was the best-humoured
+man that every woman had, but his circumstances were not so
+good as I imagined, as, on the other hand, he had not bettered
+himself by marrying so much as he expected.
+
+When we were married, I was shrewdly put to it to bring him
+that little stock I had, and to let him see it was no more; but
+there was a necessity for it, so I took my opportunity one day
+when we were alone, to enter into a short dialogue with him
+about it.  'My dear,' said I, 'we have been married a fortnight;
+is it not time to let you know whether you have got a wife
+with something or with nothing?'  'Your own time for that,
+my dear,' says he; 'I am satisfied that I have got the wife I
+love; I have not troubled you much,' says he, 'with my inquiry
+after it.'
+
+'That's true,' says I, 'but I have a great difficulty upon me
+about it, which I scarce know how to manage.'
+
+'What's that, m dear?' says he.
+
+'Why,' says I, ''tis a little hard upon me, and 'tis harder upon
+you.  I am told that Captain ----' (meaning my friend's husband)
+'has told you I had a great deal more money than I ever
+pretended to have, and I am sure I never employed him to do so.'
+
+'Well,' says he, 'Captain ---- may have told me so, but what
+then?  If you have not so much, that may lie at his door, but
+you never told me what you had, so I have no reason to blame
+you if you have nothing at all.'
+
+'That's is so just,' said I, 'and so generous, that it makes my
+having but a little a double affliction to me.'
+
+'The less you have, my dear,' says he, 'the worse for us both;
+but I hope your affliction you speak of is not caused for fear
+I should be unkind to you, for want of a portion.  No, no, if
+you have nothing, tell me plainly, and at once; I may perhaps
+tell the captain he has cheated me, but I can never say you
+have cheated me, for did you not give it under your hand that
+you were poor?  and so I ought to expect you to be.'
+
+'Well,' said I, 'my dear, I am glad I have not been concerned
+in deceiving you before marriage.  If I deceive you since, 'tis
+ne'er the worse; that I am poor is too true, but not so poor as
+to have nothing neither'; so I pulled out some bank bills, and
+gave him about #160.  'There's something, my dear,' said I,
+'and not quite all neither.'
+
+I had brought him so near to expecting nothing, by what I had
+said before, that the money, though the sum was small in itself,
+was doubly welcome to him; he owned it was more than he
+looked for, and that he did not question by my discourse to
+him, but that my fine clothes, gold watch, and a diamond ring
+or two, had been all my fortune.
+
+I let him please himself with that #160 two or three days, and
+then, having been abroad that day, and as if I had  been to fetch
+it, I brought him #100 more home in gold, and told him there
+was a little more portion for him; and, in short, in about a week
+more I brought him #180 more, and about #60 in linen, which
+I made him believe I had been obliged to take with the #100
+which I gave him in gold, as a composition for a debt of #600,
+being little more than five shillings in the pound, and overvalued too.
+
+'And now, my dear,' says I to him, 'I am very sorry to tell you,
+that there is all, and that I have given you my whole fortune.'
+I added, that if the person who had my #600 had not abused
+me, I had been worth #1000 to him, but that as it was, I had
+been faithful to him, and reserved nothing to myself, but if it
+had been more he should have had it.
+
+He was so obliged by the manner, and so pleased with the sum,
+for he had been in a terrible fright lest it had been nothing at
+all, that he accepted it very thankfully.  And thus I got over
+the fraud of passing for a fortune without money, and cheating
+a man into marrying me on pretence of a fortune; which, by
+the way, I take to be one of the most dangerous steps a woman
+can take, and in which she runs the most hazard of being
+ill-used afterwards.
+
+My husband, to give him his due, was a man of infinite good
+nature, but he was no fool; and finding his income not suited
+to the manner of living which he had intended, if I had brought
+him what he expected, and being under a disappointment in
+his return of his plantations in Virginia, he discovered many
+times his inclination of going over to Virginia, to live upon
+his own; and often would be magnifying the way of living
+there, how cheap, how plentiful, how pleasant, and the like.
+
+I began presently to understand this meaning, and I took
+him up very plainly one morning, and told him that I did so;
+that I found his estate turned to no account at this distance,
+compared to what it would do if he lived upon the spot, and
+that I found he had a mind to go and live there; and I added,
+that I was sensible he had been disappointed in a wife, and
+that finding his expectations not answered that way, I could
+do no less, to make him amends, than tell him that I was very
+willing to go over to Virginia with him and live there.
+
+He said a thousand kind things to me upon the subject of my
+making such a proposal to him.  He told me, that however
+he was disappointed in his expectations of a fortune, he was
+not disappointed in a wife, and that I was all to him that a
+wife could be, and he was more than satisfied on the whole
+when the particulars were put together, but that this offer was
+so kind, that it was more than he could express.
+
+To bring the story short, we agreed to go.  He told me that he
+had a very good house there, that it was well furnished, that
+his mother was alive and lived in it, and one sister, which was
+all the relations he had; that as soon as he came there, his
+mother would remove to another house, which was her own
+for life, and his after her decease; so that I should have all the
+house to myself; and I found all this to be exactly as he had
+said.
+
+To make this part of the story short, we put on board the ship
+which we went in, a large quantity of good furniture for our
+house, with stores of linen and other necessaries, and a good
+cargo for sale, and away we went.
+
+To give an account of the manner of our voyage, which was
+long and full of dangers, is out of my way; I kept no journal,
+neither did my husband.  All that I can say is, that after a
+terrible passage, frighted twice with dreadful storms, and once
+with what was still more terrible, I mean a pirate who came
+on board and took away almost all our provisions; and which
+would have been beyond all to me, they had once taken my
+husband to go along with them, but by entreaties were prevailed
+with to leave him;--I say, after all these terrible things, we
+arrived in York River in Virginia, and coming to our plantation,
+we were received with all the demonstrations of tenderness
+and affection, by my husband's mother, that were possible to
+be expressed.
+
+We lived here all together, my mother-in-law, at my entreaty,
+continuing in the house, for she was too kind a mother to be
+parted with; my husband likewise continued the same as at
+first, and I thought myself the happiest creature alive, when
+an odd and surprising event put an end to all that felicity in a
+moment, and rendered my condition the most uncomfortable,
+if not the most miserable, in the world.
+
+My mother was a mighty cheerful, good-humoured old woman
+--I may call her old woman, for her son was above thirty; I
+say she was very pleasant, good company, and used to entertain
+me, in particular, with abundance of stories to divert me, as
+well of  the country we were in as of the people.
+
+Among the rest, she often told me how the greatest part of
+the inhabitants of the colony came thither in very indifferent
+circumstances from England; that, generally speaking, they
+were of two sorts; either, first, such as were brought over by
+masters of ships to be sold as servants.  'Such as we call them,
+my dear,' says she, 'but they are more properly called slaves.'
+Or, secondly, such as are transported from Newgate and other
+prisons, after having been found guilty of felony and other
+crimes punishable with death.
+
+'When they come here,' says she, 'we make no difference; the
+planters buy them, and they work together in the field till
+their time is out.  When 'tis expired,' said she, 'they have
+encouragement given them to plant for themselves; for they
+have a certain number of acres of land allotted them by the
+country, and they go to work to clear and cure the land, and
+then to plant it with tobacco and corn for their own use; and
+as the tradesmen and merchants will trust them with tools and
+clothes and other necessaries, upon the credit of their crop
+before it is grown, so they again plant every year a little more
+than the year before, and so buy whatever they want with the
+crop that is before them.
+
+'Hence, child,' says she, 'man a Newgate-bird becomes a great
+man, and we have,' continued she, 'several justices of the peace,
+officers of the trained bands, and magistrates of the towns they
+live in, that have been burnt in the hand.'
+
+She was going on with that part of the story, when her own
+part in it interrupted her, and with a great deal of good-humoured
+confidence she told me she was one of the second sort of
+inhabitants herself; that she came away openly, having ventured
+too far in a particular case, so that she was become a criminal.
+'And here's the mark of it, child,' says she; and, pulling off her
+glove, 'look ye here,' says she, turning up the palm of her
+hand, and showed me a very fine white arm and hand, but
+branded in the inside of the hand, as in such cases it must be.
+
+This story was very moving to me, but my mother, smiling,
+said, 'You need not think a thing strange, daughter, for as I
+told you, some of the best men in this country are burnt in the
+hand, and they are not ashamed to own it.  There's Major ----,'
+says she, 'he was an eminent pickpocket; there's Justice Ba----r,
+was a shoplifter, and both of them were burnt in the hand; and
+I could name you several such as they are.'
+
+We had frequent discourses of this kind, and abundance of
+instances she gave me of the like.  After some time, as she was
+telling some stories of one that was transported but a few
+weeks ago, I began in an intimate kind of way to ask her to
+tell me something of her own story, which she did with the
+utmost plainness and sincerity; how she had fallen into very ill
+company in London in her young days, occasioned by her
+mother sending her frequently to carry victuals and other relief
+to a kinswoman of hers who was a prisoner in Newgate, and
+who lay in a miserable starving condition, was afterwards
+condemned to be hanged, but having got respite by pleading
+her belly, dies afterwards in the prison.
+
+Here my mother-in-law ran out in a long account of the wicked
+practices in that dreadful place, and how it ruined more young
+people that all the town besides.  'And child,' says my mother,
+'perhaps you may know little of it, or, it may be, have heard
+nothing about it; but depend upon it,' says she, 'we all know
+here that there are more thieves and rogues made by that one
+prison of Newgate than by all the clubs and societies of villains
+in the nation; 'tis that cursed place,' says my mother, 'that half
+peopled this colony.'
+
+Here she went on with her own story so long, and in so particular
+a manner, that I began to be very uneasy; but coming to one
+particular that required telling her name, I thought I should
+have sunk down in the place.  She perceived I was out of
+order, and asked me if I was not well, and what ailed me.  I
+told her I was so affected with the melancholy story she had
+told, and the terrible things she had gone through, that it had
+overcome me, and I begged of her to talk no more of it.  'Why,
+my dear,' says she very kindly, 'what need these things trouble
+you?  These passages were long before your time, and they
+give me no trouble at all now; nay, I look back on them with
+a particular satisfaction, as they have been a means to bring
+me to this place.'  Then she went on to tell me how she very
+luckily fell into a good family, where, behaving herself well,
+and her mistress dying, her master married her, by whom she
+had my husband and his sister, and that by her diligence and
+good management after her husband's death, she had improved
+the plantations to such a degree as they then were, so that most
+of the estate was of her getting, not her husband's, for she had
+been a widow upwards of sixteen years.
+
+I heard this part of they story with very little attention, because
+I wanted much to retire and give vent to my passions, which
+I did soon after; and let any one judge what must be the anguish
+of my mind, when I came to reflect that this was certainly no
+more or less than my own mother, and I had now had two
+children, and was big with another by my own brother, and
+lay with him still every night.
+
+I was now the most unhappy of all women in the world.  Oh!
+had the story never been told me, all had been well; it had been
+no crime to have lain with my husband, since as to his being
+my relation I had known nothing of it.
+
+I had now such a load on my mind that it kept me perpetually
+waking; to reveal it, which would have been some ease to me,
+I could not find would be to any purpose, and yet to conceal
+it would be next to impossible; nay, I did not doubt but I should
+talk of it in my sleep, and tell my husband of it whether I would
+or no.  If I discovered it, the least thing I could expect was to
+lose my husband, for he was too nice and too honest a man
+to have continued my husband after he had known I had been
+his sister; so that I was perplexed to the last degree.
+
+I leave it to any man to judge what difficulties presented to
+my view.  I was away from my native country, at a distance
+prodigious, and the return to me unpassable.  I lived very well,
+but in a circumstance insufferable in itself.  If I had discovered
+myself to my mother, it might be difficult to convince her of
+the particulars, and I had no way to prove them.  On the other
+hand, if she had questioned or doubted me, I had been undone,
+for the bare suggestion would have immediately separated me
+from my husband, without gaining my mother or him, who
+would have been neither a husband nor a brother; so that
+between the surprise on one hand, and the uncertainty on the
+other, I had been sure to be undone.
+
+In the meantime, as I was but too sure of the fact, I lived
+therefore in open avowed incest and whoredom, and all under
+the appearance of an honest wife; and though I was not much
+touched with the crime of it, yet the action had something in
+it shocking to nature, and made my husband, as he thought
+himself, even nauseous to me.
+
+However, upon the most sedate consideration, I resolved that
+it was absolutely necessary to conceal it all and not make the
+least discovery of it either to mother or husband; and thus I
+lived with the greatest pressure imaginable for three years
+more, but had no more children.
+
+During this time my mother used to be frequently telling me
+old stories of her former adventures, which, however, were
+no ways pleasant to me; for by it, though she did not tell it me
+in plain terms, yet I could easily understand, joined with what
+I had heard myself, of my first tutors, that in her younger days
+she had been both whore and thief; but I verily believed she
+had lived to repent sincerely of both, and that she was then a
+very pious, sober, and religious woman.
+
+Well, let her life have been what it would then, it was certain
+that my life was very uneasy to me; for I lived, as I have said,
+but in the worst sort of whoredom, and as I could expect no
+good of it, so really no good issue came of it, and all my
+seeming prosperity wore off, and ended in misery and
+destruction.  It was some time, indeed, before it came to this,
+for, but I know not by what ill fate guided, everything went
+wrong with us afterwards, and that which was worse, my
+husband grew strangely altered, forward, jealous, and unkind,
+and I was as impatient of bearing his carriage, as the carriage
+was unreasonable and unjust.  These things proceeded so far,
+that we came at last to be in such ill terms with one another,
+that I claimed a promise of him, which he entered willingly
+into with me when I consented to come from England with
+him, viz. that if I found the country not to agree with me, or
+that I did not like to live there, I should come away to England
+again when I pleased, giving him a year's warning to settle
+his affairs.
+
+I say, I now claimed this promise of him, and I must confess
+I did it not in the most obliging terms that could be in the
+world neither; but I insisted that he treated me ill, that I was
+remote from my friends, and could do myself no justice, and
+that he was jealous without cause, my conversation having
+been unblamable, and he having no pretense for it, and that to
+remove to England would take away all occasion from him.
+
+I insisted so peremptorily upon it, that he could not avoid
+coming to a point, either to keep his word with me or to break
+it; and this, notwithstanding he used all the skill he was master
+of, and employed his mother and other agents to prevail with
+me to alter my resolutions; indeed, the bottom of the thing lay
+at my heart, and that made all his endeavours fruitless, for my
+heart was alienated from him as a husband.  I loathed the
+thoughts of bedding with him, and used a thousand pretenses
+of illness and humour to prevent his touching me, fearing
+nothing more than to be with child by him, which to be sure
+would have prevented, or at least delayed, my going over to
+England.
+
+However, at last I put him so out of humour, that he took up
+a rash and fatal resolution; in short, I should not go to England;
+and though he had promised me, yet it was an unreasonable
+thing for me to desire it; that it would be ruinous to his affairs,
+would unhinge his whole family, and be next to an undoing
+him in the world; that therefore I ought not to desire it of him,
+and that no wife in the world that valued her family and her
+husband's prosperity would insist upon such a thing.
+
+This plunged me again, for when I considered the thing
+calmly, and took my husband as he really was, a diligent,
+careful man in the main work of laying up an estate for his
+children, and that he knew nothing of the dreadful circumstances
+that he was in, I could not but confess to myself that my
+proposal was very unreasonable, and what no wife that had
+the good of her family at heart would have desired.
+
+But my discontents were of another nature; I looked upon him
+no longer as a husband, but as a near relation, the son of my
+own mother, and I resolved somehow or other to be clear of
+him, but which way I did not know, nor did it seem possible.
+
+It is said by the ill-natured world, of our sex, that if we are
+set on a thing, it is impossible to turn us from our resolutions;
+in short, I never ceased poring upon the means to bring to
+pass my voyage, and came that length with my husband at last,
+as to propose going without him.  This provoked him to the
+last degree, and he called me not only an unkind wife, but an
+unnatural mother, and asked me how I could entertain such a
+thought without horror, as that of leaving my two children
+(for one was dead) without a mother, and to be brought up by
+strangers, and never to see them more.  It was true, had things
+been right, I should not have done it, but now it was my real
+desire never to see them, or him either, any more; and as to the
+charge of unnatural, I could easily answer it to myself, while
+I knew that the whole relation was unnatural in the highest
+degree in the world.
+
+However, it was plain there was no bringing my husband to
+anything; he would neither go with me nor let me go without
+him, and it was quite out of my power to stir without his
+consent, as any one that knows the constitution of the country
+I was in, knows very well.
+
+We had many family quarrels about it, and they began in
+time to grow up to a dangerous height; for as I was quite
+estranged form my husband (as he was called) in affection, so
+I took no heed to my words, but sometimes gave him language
+that was provoking; and, in short, strove all I could to bring
+him to a parting with me, which was what above all things in
+the world I desired most.
+
+He took my carriage very ill, and indeed he might well do so,
+for at last I refused to bed with him, and carrying on the breach
+upon all occasions to extremity, he told me once he thought I
+was mad, and if I did not alter my conduct, he would put me
+under cure; that is to say, into a madhouse.  I told him he
+should find I was far enough from mad, and that it was not in
+his power, or any other villain's, to murder me.  I confess at
+the same time I was heartily frighted at his thoughts of putting
+me into a madhouse, which would at once have destroyed all
+the possibility of breaking the truth out, whatever the occasion
+might be; for that then no one would have given credit to a
+word of it.
+
+This therefore brought me to a resolution, whatever came of
+it, to lay open my whole case; but which way to do it, or to
+whom, was an inextricable difficulty, and took me many months
+to resolve.  In the meantime, another quarrel with my husband
+happened, which came up to such a mad extreme as almost
+pushed me on to tell it him all to his face; but though I kept it
+in so as not to come to the particulars, I spoke so much as put
+him into the utmost confusion, and in the end brought out the
+whole story.
+
+He began with a calm expostulation upon my being so resolute
+to go to England; I defended it, and one hard word bringing
+on another, as is usual in all family strife, he told me I did not
+treat him as if he was my husband, or talk of my children as if
+I was a mother; and, in short, that I did not deserve to be used
+as a wife; that he had used all the fair means possible with me;
+that he had argued with all the kindness and calmness that a
+husband or a Christian ought to do, and that I made him such
+a vile return, that I treated him rather like a dog than a man,
+and rather like the most contemptible stranger than a husband;
+that he was very loth to use violence with me, but that, in short,
+he saw a necessity of it now, and that for the future he should
+be obliged to take such measures as should reduce me to my
+duty.
+
+My blood was now fired to the utmost, though I knew what
+he had said was very true, and nothing could appear more
+provoked.  I told him, for his fair means and his foul, they
+were equally contemned by me; that for my going to England,
+I was resolved on it, come what would; and that as to treating
+him not like a husband, and not showing myself a mother to
+my children, there might be something more in it than he
+understood at present; but, for his further consideration, I
+thought fit to tell him thus much, that he neither was my lawful
+husband, nor they lawful children, and that I had reason to
+regard neither of them more than I did.
+
+I confess I was moved to pity him when I spoke it, for he
+turned pale as death, and stood mute as one thunderstruck,
+and once or twice I thought he would have fainted; in short,
+it put him in a fit something like an apoplex; he trembled, a
+sweat or dew ran off his face, and yet he was cold as a clod,
+so that I was forced to run and fetch something for him to
+keep life in him.  When he recovered of that, he grew sick and
+vomited, and in a little after was put to bed, and the next
+morning was, as he had been indeed all night, in a violent fever.
+
+However, it went off again, and he recovered, though but
+slowly, and when he came to be a little better, he told me I
+had given him a mortal wound with my tongue, and he had
+only one thing to ask before he desired an explanation.  I
+interrupted him, and told him I was sorry I had gone so far,
+since I saw what disorder it put him into, but I desired him
+not to talk to me of explanations, for that would but make
+things worse.
+
+This heightened his impatience, and, indeed, perplexed him
+beyond all bearing; for now he began to suspect that there
+was some mystery yet unfolded, but could not make the least
+guess at the real particulars of it; all that ran in his brain was,
+that I had another husband alive, which I could not say in fact
+might not be true, but I assured him, however, there was not
+the least of that in it; and indeed, as to my other husband, he
+was effectually dead in law to me, and had told me I should
+look on him as such, so I had not the least uneasiness on that
+score.
+
+But now I found the thing too far gone to conceal it much
+longer, and my husband himself gave me an opportunity to
+ease myself of the secret, much to my satisfaction.  He had
+laboured with me three or four weeks, but to no purpose, only
+to tell him whether I had spoken these words only as the effect
+of my passion, to put him in a passion, or whether there was
+anything of  truth in the bottom of them.  But I continued
+inflexible, and would explain nothing, unless he would first
+consent to my going to England, which he would never do,
+he said, while he lived; on the other hand, I said it was in my
+power to make him willing when I pleased--nay, to make him
+entreat me to go; and this increased his curiosity, and made him
+importunate to the highest degree, but it was all to no purpose.
+
+At length he tells all this story to his mother, and sets her upon
+me to get the main secret out of me, and she used her utmost
+skill with me indeed; but I put her to a full stop at once by
+telling her that the reason and mystery of the whole matter lay
+in herself, and that it was my respect to her that had made me
+conceal it; and that, in short, I could go no farther, and therefore
+conjured her not to insist upon it.
+
+She was struck dumb at this suggestion, and could not tell
+what to say or to think; but, laying aside the supposition as a
+policy of mine, continued her importunity on account of her
+son, and, if possible, to make up the breach between us two.
+As to that, I told her that it was indeed a good design in her,
+but that it was impossible to be done; and that if I should reveal
+to her the truth of what she desired, she would grant it to be
+impossible, and cease to desire it.  At last I seemed to be
+prevailed on by her importunity, and told her I dared trust her
+with a secret of the greatest importance, and she would soon
+see that this was so, and that I would consent to lodge it in
+her breast, if she would engage solemnly not to acquaint her
+son with it without my consent.
+
+She was long in promising this part, but rather than not come
+at the main secret, she agreed to that too, and after a great
+many other preliminaries, I began, and told her the whole story.
+First I told her how much she was concerned in all the unhappy
+breach which had happened between her son and me, by telling
+me her own story and her London name; and that the surprise
+she saw I was in was upon that occasion.   The I told her my
+own story, and my name, and assured her, by such other tokens
+as she could not deny, that I was no other, nor more or less,
+than her own child, her daughter, born of her body in Newgate;
+the same that had saved her from the gallows by being in her
+belly, and the same that she left in such-and-such hands when
+she was transported.
+
+It is impossible to express the astonishment she was in; she
+was not inclined to believe the story, or to remember the
+particulars, for she immediately foresaw the confusion that
+must follow in the family upon it.  But everything concurred
+so exactly with the stories she had told me of herself, and which,
+if she had not told me, she would perhaps have been content
+to have denied, that she had stopped her own mouth, and she
+had nothing to do but to take me about the neck and kiss me,
+and cry most vehemently over me, without speaking one word
+for a long time together.  At last she broke out:  'Unhappy child!'
+says she, 'what miserable chance could bring thee hither? and
+in the arms of my own son, too!  Dreadful girl,' says she, 'why,
+we are all undone!  Married to thy own brother!  Three children,
+and two alive, all of the same flesh and blood!  My son and my
+daughter lying together as husband and wife!  All confusion
+and distraction for ever!  Miserable family! what will become
+of us?  What is to be said?  What is to be done?'  And thus she
+ran on for a great while; nor had I any power to speak, or if
+I had, did I know what to say, for every word wounded me to
+the soul.  With this kind of amazement on our thoughts we
+parted for the first time, though my mother was more surprised
+than I was, because it was more news to her than to me.
+However, she promised again to me at parting, that she would
+say nothing of it to her son, till we had talked of it again.
+
+It was not long, you may be sure, before we had a second
+conference upon the same subject; when, as if she had been
+willing to forget the story she had told me of herself, or to
+suppose that I had forgot some of the particulars, she began
+to tell them with alterations and omissions; but I refreshed her
+memory and set her to rights in many things which I supposed
+she had forgot, and then came in so opportunely with the
+whole history, that it was impossible for her to go from it; and
+then she fell into her rhapsodies again, and exclamations at the
+severity of her misfortunes.  When these things were a little
+over with her, we fell into a close debate about what should
+be first done before we gave an account of the matter to my
+husband.  But to what purpose could be all our consultations?
+We could neither of us see our way through it, nor see how it
+could be safe to open such a scene to him.  It was impossible
+to make any judgment, or give any guess at what temper he
+would receive it in, or what measures he would take upon it;
+and if he should have so little government of himself as to make
+it public, we easily foresaw that it would be the ruin of the
+whole family, and expose my mother and me to the last degree;
+and if at last he should take the advantage the law would give
+him, he might put me away with disdain and leave me to sue
+for the little portion that I had, and perhaps waste it all in the
+suit, and then be a beggar; the children would be ruined too,
+having no legal claim to any of his effects; and thus I should
+see him, perhaps, in the arms of another wife in a few months,
+and be myself the most miserable creature alive.
+
+My mother was as sensible of this as I; and, upon the whole,
+we knew not what to do.  After some time we came to more
+sober resolutions, but then it was with this misfortune too, that
+my mother's opinion and mine were quite different from one
+another, and indeed inconsistent with one another; for my
+mother's opinion was, that I should bury the whole thing
+entirely, and continue to live with him as my husband till some
+other event should make the discovery of it more convenient;
+and that in the meantime she would endeavour to reconcile us
+together again, and restore our mutual comfort and family
+peace; that we might lie as we used to do together, and so let
+the whole matter remain a secret as close as death.  'For, child,'
+says she, 'we are both undone if it comes out.'
+
+To encourage me to this, she promised to make me easy in my
+circumstances, as far as she was able, and to leave me what
+she could at her death, secured for me separately from my
+husband; so that if it should come out afterwards, I should not
+be left destitute, but be able to stand on my own feet and
+procure justice from him.
+
+This proposal did not agree at all with my judgment of the
+thing, though it was very fair and kind in my mother; but my
+thoughts ran quite another way.
+
+As to keeping the thing in our own breasts, and letting it all
+remain as it was, I told her it was impossible; and I asked her
+how she could think I could bear the thoughts of lying with
+my own brother.  In the next place, I told her that her being
+alive was the only support of the discovery, and that while she
+owned me for her child, and saw reason to be satisfied that I
+was so, nobody else would doubt it; but that if she should die
+before the discovery, I should be taken for an impudent creature
+that had forged such a thing to go away from my husband, or
+should be counted crazed and distracted.  Then I told her how
+he had threatened already to put me into a madhouse, and what
+concern I had been in about it, and how that was the thing that
+drove me to the necessity of discovering it to her as I had done.
+
+From all which I told her, that I had, on the most serious
+reflections I was able to make in the case, come to this resolution,
+which I hoped she would like, as a medium between both, viz.
+that she should use her endeavours with her son to give me
+leave to go to England, as I had desired, and to furnish me with
+a sufficient sum of money, either in goods along with me, or
+in bills for my support there, all along suggesting that he might
+one time or other think it proper to come over to me.
+
+That when I was gone, she should then, in cold blood, and
+after first obliging him in the solemnest manner possible to
+secrecy, discover the case to him, doing it gradually, and as
+her own discretion should guide her, so that he might not be
+surprised with it, and fly out into any passions and excesses
+on my account, or on hers; and that she should concern herself
+to prevent his slighting the children, or marrying again, unless
+he had a certain account of my being dead.
+
+This was my scheme, and my reasons were good; I was really
+alienated from him in the consequences of these things; indeed,
+I mortally hated him as a husband, and it was impossible to
+remove that riveted aversion I had to him.  At the same time,
+it being an unlawful, incestuous living, added to that aversion,
+and though I had no great concern about it in point of
+conscience, yet everything added to make cohabiting with him
+the most nauseous thing to me in the world; and I think verily
+it was come to such a height, that I could almost as willingly
+have embraced a dog as have let him offer anything of that
+kind to me, for which reason I could not bear the thoughts of
+coming between the sheets with him.  I cannot say that I was
+right in point of policy in carrying it such a length, while at the
+same time I did not resolve to discover the thing to him; but I
+am giving an account of what was, not of what ought or ought
+not to be.
+
+In their directly opposite opinion to one another my mother
+and I continued a long time, and it was impossible to reconcile
+our judgments; many disputes we had about it, but we could
+never either of us yield our own, or bring over the other.
+
+I insisted on my aversion to lying with my own brother, and
+she insisted upon its being impossible to bring him to consent
+to my going from him to England; and in this uncertainty we
+continued, not differing so as to quarrel, or anything like it,
+but so as not to be able to resolve what we should do to make
+up that terrible breach that was before us.
+
+At last I resolved on a desperate course, and told my mother
+my resolution, viz. that, in short, I would tell him of it myself.
+My mother was frighted to the last degree at the very thoughts
+of it; but I bid her be easy, told her I would do it gradually
+and softly, and with all the art and good-humour I was mistress
+of, and time it also as well as I could, taking him in good-humour
+too.  I told her I did not question but, if I could be hypocrite
+enough to feign more affection to him than I really had, I should
+succeed in all my design, and we might part by consent, and
+with a good agreement, for I might live him well enough for
+a brother, though I could not for a husband.
+
+All this while he lay at my mother to find out, if possible, what
+was the meaning of that dreadful expression of mine, as he
+called it, which I mentioned before:  namely, that I was not his
+lawful wife, nor my children his legal children.  My mother put
+him off, told him she could bring me to no explanations, but
+found there was something that disturbed me very much, and
+she hoped she should get it out of me in time, and in the
+meantime recommended to him earnestly to use me more
+tenderly, and win me with his usual good carriage; told him
+of his  terrifying and affrighting me with his threats of sending
+me to a madhouse, and the like, and advised him not to make
+a woman desperate on any account whatever.
+
+He promised her to soften his behaviour, and bid her assure
+me that he loved me as well as ever, and that he had so such
+design as that of sending me to a madhouse, whatever he might
+say in his passion; also he desired my mother to use the same
+persuasions to me too, that our affections might be renewed,
+and we might lie together in a good understanding as we used
+to do.
+
+I found the effects of this treaty presently.  My husband's
+conduct was immediately altered, and he was quite another
+man to me; nothing could be kinder and more obliging than he
+was to me upon all occasions; and I could do no less than
+make some return to it, which I did as well as I could, but it
+was but in an awkward manner at best, for nothing was more
+frightful to me than his caresses, and the apprehensions of being
+with child again by him was ready to throw me into fits; and
+this made me see that there was an absolute necessity of breaking
+the case to him without any more delay, which, however, I did
+with all the caution and reserve imaginable.
+
+He had continued his altered carriage to me near a month,
+and we began to live a new kind of life with one another; and
+could I have satisfied myself to have gone on with it, I believe
+it might have continued as long as we had continued alive
+together.  One evening, as we were sitting and talking very
+friendly together under a little awning, which served as an
+arbour at the entrance from our house into the garden, he was
+in a very pleasant, agreeable humour, and said abundance of
+kind things to me relating to the pleasure of our present good
+agreement, and the disorders of our past breach, and what a
+satisfaction it was to him that we had room to hope we should
+never have any more of it.
+
+I fetched a deep sigh, and told him there was nobody in the
+world could be more delighted than I was in the good agreement
+we had always kept up, or more afflicted with the breach of it,
+and should be so still; but I was sorry to tell him that there was
+an unhappy circumstance in our case, which lay too close to
+my heart, and which I knew not how to break to him, that
+rendered my part of it very miserable, and took from me all the
+comfort of the rest.
+
+He importuned me to tell him what it was.  I told him I could
+not tell how to do it; that while it was concealed from him
+I alone was unhappy, but if he knew it also, we should be both
+so; and that, therefore, to keep him in the dark about it was
+the kindest thing that I could do, and it was on that account
+alone that I kept a secret from him, the very keeping of which,
+I thought, would first or last be my destruction.
+
+It is impossible to express his surprise at this relation, and the
+double importunity which he used with me to discover it to him.
+He told me I could not be called kind to him, nay, I could not
+be faithful to him if I concealed it from him.  I told him I thought
+so too, and yet I could not do it.  He went back to what I had
+said before to him, and told me he hoped it did not relate to
+what I had said in my passion, and that he had resolved to
+forget all that as the effect of a rash, provoked spirit.  I told
+him I wished I could forget it all too, but that it was not to be
+done, the impression was too deep, and I could not do it:  it
+was impossible.
+
+He then told me he was resolved not to differ with me in
+anything, and that therefore he would importune me no more
+about it, resolving to acquiesce in whatever I did or said; only
+begged I should then agree, that whatever it was, it should no
+more interrupt our quiet and our mutual kindness.
+
+This was the most provoking thing he could have said to me,
+for I really wanted his further importunities, that I might be
+prevailed with to bring out that which indeed it was like death
+to me to conceal; so I answered him plainly that I could not
+say I was glad not to be importuned, thought I could not tell
+how to comply.  'But come, my dear,' said I, 'what conditions
+will you make with me upon the opening this affair to you?'
+
+'Any conditions in the world,' said he, 'that you can in reason
+desire of me.'  'Well,' said I, 'come, give it me under your
+hand, that if you do not find I am in any fault, or that I am
+willingly concerned in the causes of the misfortune that is to
+follow, you will not blame me, use me the worse, do my any
+injury, or make me be the sufferer for that which is not my fault.'
+
+'That,' says he, 'is the most reasonable demand in the world:
+not to blame you for that which is not your fault.  Give me a
+pen and ink,' says he; so I ran in and fetched a pen, ink, and
+paper, and he wrote the condition down in the very words I
+had proposed it, and signed it with his name.  "Well,' says  he,
+'what is next, my dear?'
+
+'Why,' says I, 'the next is, that you will not blame me for not
+discovering the secret of it to you before I knew it.'
+
+'Very just again,' says he; 'with all my heart'; so he wrote
+down that also, and signed it.
+
+'Well, my dear,' says I, 'then I have but one condition more
+to make with you, and that is, that as there is nobody concerned
+in it but you and I, you shall not discover it to any person in
+the world, except your own mother; and that in all the measures
+you shall take upon the discovery, as I am equally concerned
+in it with you, though as innocent as yourself, you shall do
+nothing in a passion, nothing to my prejudice or to your
+mother's prejudice, without my knowledge and consent.'
+
+This a little amazed him, and he wrote down the words distinctly,
+but read them over and over before he signed them,
+hesitating at them several times, and repeating them:  'My
+mother's prejudice! and your prejudice!  What mysterious thing
+can this be?'  However, at last he signed it.
+
+'Well, says I, 'my dear, I'll ask you no more under your hand;
+but as you are to hear the most unexpected and surprising thing
+that perhaps ever befell any family in the world, I beg you to
+promise me you will receive it with composure and a presence
+of mind suitable to a man of sense.'
+
+'I'll do my utmost,' says he, 'upon condition you will keep me
+no longer in suspense, for you terrify me with all these
+preliminaries.'
+
+'Well, then,' says I, 'it is this: as I told you before in a heat,
+that I was not your lawful wife, and that our children were not
+legal children, so I must let you know now in calmness and in
+kindness, but with affliction enough, that I am your own sister,
+and you my own brother, and that we are both the children of
+our mother now alive, and in the house, who is convinced of
+the truth of it, in a manner not to be denied or contradicted.'
+
+I saw him turn pale and look wild; and I said, 'Now remember
+your promise, and receive it with presence of mind; for who
+could have said more to prepare you for it than I have done?'
+However, I called a servant, and got him a little glass of rum
+(which is the usual dram of that country), for he was just
+fainting away.  When he was a little recovered, I said to him,
+'This story, you may be sure, requires a long explanation, and
+therefore, have patience and compose your mind to hear it out,
+and I'll make it as short as I can'; and with this, I told him
+what I thought was needful of the fact, and particularly how
+my mother came to discover it to me, as above.  'And now,
+my dear,' says I, 'you will see reason for my capitulations,
+and that I neither have been the cause of this matter, nor could
+be so, and that I could know nothing of it before now.'
+
+'I am fully satisfied of that,' says he, 'but 'tis a dreadful surprise
+to me; however, I know a remedy for it all, and a remedy
+that shall put an end to your difficulties, without your going to
+England.'  'That would be strange,' said I, 'as all the rest.'
+'No, no,' says he, 'I'll make it easy; there's nobody in the way
+of it but myself.'  He looked a little disordered when he said
+this, but I did not apprehend anything from it at that time,
+believing, as it used to be said, that they who do those things
+never talk of them, or that they who talk of such things never
+do them.
+
+But things were not come to their height with him, and I
+observed he became pensive and melancholy; and in a word,
+as I thought, a little distempered in his head.  I endeavoured
+to talk him into temper, and to reason him into a kind of scheme
+for our government in the affair, and sometimes he would be
+well, and talk with some courage about it; but the weight of
+it lay too heavy upon his thoughts, and, in short, it went so far
+that he made attempts upon himself, and in one of them had
+actually strangled himself and had not his mother come into
+the room in the very moment, he had died; but with the help
+of a Negro servant she cut him down and recovered him.
+
+Things were now come to a lamentable height in the family.
+My pity for him now began to revive that affection which at
+first I really had for him, and I endeavoured sincerely, by all
+the kind carriage I could, to make up the breach; but, in short,
+it had gotten too great a head, it preyed upon his spirits, and
+it threw him into a long, lingering consumption, though it
+happened not to be mortal.  In this distress I did not know
+what to do, as his life was apparently declining, and I might
+perhaps have married again there, very much to my advantage;
+it had been certainly my business to have stayed in the country,
+but my mind was restless too, and uneasy; I hankered after
+coming to England, and nothing would satisfy me without it.
+
+In short, by an unwearied importunity, my husband, who was
+apparently decaying, as I observed, was at last prevailed with;
+and so my own fate pushing me on, the way was made clear
+for me, and my mother concurring, I obtained a very good
+cargo for my coming to England.
+
+When I parted with my brother (for such I am now to call
+him), we agreed that after I arrived he should pretend to have
+an account that I was dead in England, and so might marry
+again when he would.  He promised, and engaged to me to
+correspond with me as a sister, and to assist and support me
+as long as I lived; and that if he died before me, he would leave
+sufficient to his mother to take care of me still, in the name of
+a sister, and he was in some respects careful of me, when he
+heard of me; but it was so oddly managed that I felt the
+disappointments very sensibly afterwards, as you shall hear in
+its time.
+
+I came away for England in the month of August, after I had
+been eight years in that country; and now a new scene of
+misfortunes attended me, which perhaps few women have
+gone through the life of.
+
+We had an indifferent good voyage till we came just upon the
+coast of England, and where we arrived in two-and-thirty days,
+but were then ruffled with two or three storms, one of which
+drove us away to the coast of Ireland, and we put in at Kinsdale.
+We remained there about thirteen days, got some refreshment
+on shore, and put to sea again, though we met with very bad
+weather again, in which the ship sprung her mainmast, as they
+called it, for I knew not what they meant.  But we got at last
+into Milford Haven, in Wales, where, though it was remote
+from our port, yet having my foot safe upon the firm ground
+of my native country, the isle of Britain, I resolved to venture
+it no more upon the waters, which had been so terrible to me;
+so getting my clothes and money on shore, with my bills of
+loading and other papers, I resolved to come for London, and
+leave the ship to get to her port as she could; the port whither
+she was bound was to Bristol, where my brother's chief
+correspondent lived.
+
+I got to London in about three weeks, where I heard a little
+while after that the ship was arrived in Bristol, but at the same
+time had the misfortune to know that by the violent weather
+she had been in, and the breaking of her mainmast, she had
+great damage on board, and that a great part of her cargo was
+spoiled.
+
+I had now a new scene of life upon my hands, and a dreadful
+appearance it had.  I was come away with a kind of final
+farewell.  What I brought with me was indeed considerable,
+had it come safe, and by the help of it, I might have married
+again tolerably well; but as it was, I was reduced to between
+two or three hundred pounds in the whole, and this without
+any hope of recruit.  I was entirely without friends, nay, even
+so much as without acquaintance, for I found it was absolutely
+necessary not to revive former acquaintances; and as for my
+subtle friend that set me up formerly for a fortune, she was
+dead, and her husband also; as I was informed, upon sending
+a person unknown to inquire.
+
+The looking after my cargo of goods soon after obliged me to
+take a journey to Bristol, and during my attendance upon that
+affair I took the diversion of going to the Bath, for as I was
+still far from being old, so my humour, which was always gay,
+continued so to an extreme; and being now, as it were, a
+woman of fortune though I was a woman without a fortune,
+I expected something or other might happen in my way that
+might mend my circumstances, as had been my case before.
+
+The Bath is a place of gallantry enough; expensive, and full
+of snares.  I went thither, indeed, in the view of taking anything
+that might offer, but I must do myself justice, as to protest I
+knew nothing amiss; I meant nothing but in an honest way, nor
+had I any thoughts about me at first that looked the way which
+afterwards I suffered them to be guided.
+
+Here I stayed the whole latter season, as it is called there,
+and contracted some unhappy acquaintances, which rather
+prompted the follies I fell afterwards into than fortified me
+against them.  I lived pleasantly enough, kept good company,
+that is to say, gay, fine company; but had the discouragement
+to find this way of living sunk me exceedingly, and that as I
+had no settled income, so spending upon the main stock was
+but a certain kind of bleeding to death; and this gave me many
+sad reflections in the interval of my other thoughts.  However,
+I shook them off, and still flattered myself that something or
+other might offer for my advantage.
+
+But I was in the wrong place for it.  I was not now at Redriff,
+where, if I had set myself tolerably up, some honest sea captain
+or other might have talked with me upon the honourable terms
+of matrimony; but I was at the Bath, where men find a mistress
+sometimes, but very rarely look for a wife; and consequently
+all the particular acquaintances a woman can expect to make
+there must have some tendency that way.
+
+I had spent the first season well enough; for though I had
+contracted some acquaintance with a gentleman who came to
+the Bath for his diversion, yet I had entered into no felonious
+treaty, as it might be called.  I had resisted some casual offers
+of gallantry, and had managed that way well enough.  I was
+not wicked enough to come into the crime for the mere vice
+of it, and I had no extraordinary offers made me that tempted
+me with the main thing which I wanted.
+
+However, I went this length the first season, viz. I contracted
+an acquaintance with a woman in whose house I lodged, who,
+though she did not keep an ill house, as we call it, yet had none
+of the best principles in herself.  I had on all occasions behaved
+myself so well as not to get the least slur upon my reputation
+on any account whatever, and all the men that I had conversed
+with were of so good reputation that I had not given the least
+reflection by conversing with them; nor did any of them seem
+to think there was room for a wicked correspondence, if they
+had any of them offered it; yet there was one gentleman, as
+above, who always singled me out for the diversion of my
+company, as he called it, which, as he was pleased to say, was
+very agreeable to him, but at that time there was no more in it.
+
+I had many melancholy hours at the Bath after the company
+was gone; for though I went to Bristol sometime for the
+disposing my effects, and for recruits of money, yet I chose to
+come back to Bath for my residence, because being on good
+terms with the woman in whose house I lodged in the summer,
+I found that during the winter I lived rather cheaper there than
+I could do anywhere else.  Here, I say, I passed the winter as
+heavily as I had passed the autumn cheerfully; but having
+contracted a nearer intimacy with the said woman in whose
+house I lodged, I could not avoid communicating to her
+something of what lay hardest upon my mind and particularly
+the narrowness of my circumstances, and the loss of my fortune
+by the damage of my goods at sea.  I told her also, that I had
+a mother and a brother in Virginia in good circumstances; and
+as I had really written back to my mother in particular to
+represent my condition, and the great loss I had received,
+which indeed came to almost #500, so I did not fail to let my
+new friend know that I expected a supply from thence, and so
+indeed I did; and as the ships went from Bristol to York River,
+in Virginia, and back again generally in less time from London,
+and that my brother corresponded chiefly at Bristol, I thought
+it was much better for me to wait here for my returns than to
+go to London, where also I had not the least acquaintance.
+
+My new friend appeared sensibly affected with my condition,
+and indeed was so very kind as to reduce the rate of my living
+with her to so low a price during the winter, that she convinced
+me she got nothing by me; and as for lodging, during the winter
+I paid nothing at all.
+
+When the spring season came on, she continued to be as kind
+to me as she could, and I lodged with her for a time, till it was
+found necessary to do otherwise.  She had some persons of
+character that frequently lodged in her house, and in particular
+the gentleman who, as I said, singled me out for his companion
+the winter before; and he came down again with another
+gentleman in his company and two servants, and lodged in the
+same house.  I suspected that my landlady had invited him
+thither, letting him know that I was still with her; but she denied
+it, and protested to me that she did not, and he said the same.
+
+In a word, this gentleman came down and continued to single
+me out for his peculiar confidence as well as conversation.
+He was a complete gentleman, that must be confessed, and
+his company was very agreeable to me, as mine, if I might
+believe him, was to him.  He made no professions to be but
+of an extraordinary respect, and he had such an opinion of my
+virtue, that, as he often professed, he believed if he should offer
+anything else, I should reject him with contempt.  He soon
+understood from me that I was a widow; that I had arrived at
+Bristol from Virginia by the last ships; and that I waited at Bath
+till the next Virginia fleet should arrive, by which I expected
+considerable effects.  I understood by him, and by others of
+him, that he had a wife, but that the lady was distempered in
+her head, and was under the conduct of her own relations,
+which he consented to, to avoid any reflections that might (as
+was not unusual in such cases) be cast on him for mismanaging
+her cure; and in the meantime he came to the Bath to divert his
+thoughts from the disturbance of such a melancholy circumstance
+as that was.
+
+My landlady, who of her own accord encouraged the
+correspondence on all occasions, gave me an advantageous
+ character of him, as a man of honour and of virtue, as well
+as of great estate.  And indeed I had a great deal of reason to
+say so of him too; for though we lodged both on a floor, and
+he had frequently come into my chamber, even when I was in
+bed, and I also into his when he was in bed, yet he never offered
+anything to me further than a kiss, or so much as solicited me
+to anything till long after, as you shall hear.
+
+I frequently took notice to my landlady of his exceeding
+modesty, and she again used to tell me, she believed it was so
+from the beginning; however, she used to tell me that she
+thought I ought to expect some gratification from him for my
+company, for indeed he did, as it were, engross me, and I was
+seldom from him.  I told her I had not given him the least
+occasion to think I wanted it, or that I would accept of it from
+him.  She told me she would take that part upon her, and she
+did so, and managed it so dexterously, that the first time we
+were together alone, after she had talked with him, he began
+to inquire a little into my circumstances, as how I had subsisted
+myself since I came on shore, and whether I did not want money.
+I stood off very boldly.  I told him that though my cargo of
+tobacco was damaged, yet that it was not quite lost; that the
+merchant I had been consigned to had so honestly managed
+for me that I had not wanted, and that I hoped, with frugal
+management, I should make it hold out till more would come,
+which I expected by the next fleet; that in the meantime I had
+retrenched my expenses, and whereas I kept a maid last season,
+now I lived without; and whereas I had a chamber and a
+dining-room then on the first floor, as he knew, I now had but
+one room, two pair of stairs, and the like.  'But I live,' said I,
+'as well satisfied now as I did then'; adding, that his company
+had been a means to make me live much more cheerfully than
+otherwise I should have done, for which I was much obliged
+to him; and so I put off all room for any offer for the present.
+However, it was not long before he attacked me again, and
+told me he found that I was backward to trust him with the
+secret of my circumstances, which he was sorry for; assuring
+me that he inquired into it with no design to satisfy his own
+curiosity, but merely to assist me, if there was any occasion;
+but since I would not own myself to stand in need of any
+assistance, he had but one thing more to desire of me, and that
+was, that I would promise him that when I was any way straitened,
+or like to be so, I would frankly tell him of it, and that I would
+make use of him with the same freedom that he made the offer;
+adding, that I should always find I had a true friend, though
+perhaps I was afraid to trust him.
+
+I omitted nothing that was fit to be said by one infinitely
+obliged, to let him know that I had a due sense of his kindness;
+and indeed from that time I did not appear so much reserved
+to him as I had done before, though still within the bounds of
+the strictest virtue on both sides; but how free soever our
+conversation was, I could not arrive to that sort of freedom
+which he desired, viz. to tell him I wanted money, though I
+was secretly very glad of his offer.
+
+Some weeks passed after this, and still I never asked him for
+money; when my landlady, a cunning creature, who had often
+pressed me to it, but found that I could not do it, makes a
+story of her own inventing, and comes in bluntly to me when
+we were together.  'Oh, widow!' says she, 'I have bad news
+to tell you this morning.'  'What is that?' said I; 'are the
+Virginia ships taken by the French?'--for that was my fear.
+'No, no,' says she, 'but the man you sent to Bristol yesterday
+for money is come back, and says he has brought none.'
+
+Now I could by no means like her project; I though it looked
+too much like prompting him, which indeed he did not want,
+and I clearly saw that I should lose nothing by being backward to
+ask, so I took her up short.  'I can't image why he should say
+so to you,' said I, 'for I assure you he brought me all the
+money I sent him for, and here it is,' said I (pulling out my
+purse with about twelve guineas in it); and added, 'I intend
+you shall have most of it by and by.'
+
+He seemed distasted a little at her talking as she did at first,
+as well as I, taking it, as I fancied he would, as something
+forward of her; but when he saw me give such an answer, he
+came immediately to himself again.  The next morning we
+talked of it again, when I found he was fully satisfied, and,
+smiling, said he hoped I would not want money and not tell
+him of it, and that I had promised him otherwise.  I told him
+I had been very much dissatisfied at my landlady's talking so
+publicly the day before of  what she had nothing to do with;
+but I supposed she wanted what I owed her, which was about
+eight guineas, which I had resolved to give her, and had
+accordingly given it her the same night she talked so foolishly.
+
+He was in a might good humour when he heard me say I had
+paid her, and it went off into some other discourse at that time.
+But the next morning, he having heard me up about my room
+before him, he called to me, and I answering, he asked me to
+come into his chamber.  He was in bed when I came in, and
+he made me come and sit down on his bedside, for he said he
+had something to say to me which was of some moment.
+After some very kind expressions, he asked me if I would be
+very honest to him, and give a sincere answer to one thing he
+would desire of me.  After some little cavil at the word 'sincere,'
+and asking him if I had ever given him any answers which were
+not sincere, I promised him I would.  Why, then, his request
+was, he said, to let him see my purse.  I immediately put my
+hand into my pocket, and, laughing to him, pulled it out, and
+there was in it three guineas and a half.  Then he asked me if
+there was all the money I had.  I told him No, laughing again,
+not by a great deal.
+
+Well, then, he said, he would have me promise to go and
+fetch him all the money I had, every farthing.  I told him I
+would, and I went into my chamber and fetched him a little
+private drawer, where I had about six guineas more, and some
+silver, and threw it all down upon the bed, and told him there
+was all my wealth, honestly to a shilling.  He looked a little
+at it, but did not tell it, and huddled it all into the drawer again,
+and then reaching his pocket, pulled out a key, and bade me
+open a little walnut-tree box he had upon the table, and bring
+him such a drawer, which I did.  In which drawer there was a
+great deal of money in gold, I believe near two hundred guineas,
+but I knew not how much.  He took the drawer, and taking my
+hand, made me put it in and take a whole handful.  I was
+backward at that, but he held my hand hard in his hand, and
+put it into the drawer, and made me take out as many guineas
+almost as I could well take up at once.
+
+When I had done so, he made me put them into my lap,
+and took my little drawer, and poured out all my money among
+his, and bade me get me gone, and carry it all home into my
+own chamber.
+
+I relate this story the more particularly because of the
+good-humour there was in it, and to show the temper with
+which we conversed.  It was not long after this but he began
+every day to find fault with my clothes, with my laces and
+headdresses, and, in a word, pressed me to buy better; which,
+by the way, I was willing enough to do, though I did not seem
+to be so, for I loved nothing in the world better than fine clothes.
+I told him I must housewife the money he had lent me, or else
+I should not be able to pay him again.  He then told me, in a
+few words, that as he had a sincere respect for me, and knew
+my circumstances, he had not lent me that money, but given
+it me, and that he thought I had merited it from him by giving
+him my company so entirely as I had done.  After this he made
+me take a maid, and keep house, and his friend that come with
+him to Bath being gone, he obliged me to diet him, which I did
+very willingly, believing, as it appeared, that I should lose
+nothing by it, nor did the woman of the house fail to find her
+account in it too.
+
+We had lived thus near three months, when the company
+beginning to wear away at the Bath, he talked of going away,
+and fain he would have me to go to London with him.  I was
+not very easy in that proposal, not knowing what posture I
+was to live in there, or how he might use me.  But while this
+was in debate he fell very sick; he had gone out to a place in
+Somersetshire, called Shepton, where he had some business
+and was there taken very ill, and so ill that he could not travel;
+so he sent his man back to Bath, to beg me that I would hire
+a coach and come over to him.  Before he went, he had left
+all his money and other things of value with me, and what to
+do with them I did not know, but I secured them as well as I
+could, and locked up the lodgings and went to him, where I
+found him very ill indeed; however, I persuaded him to be
+carried in a litter to the Bath, where there was more help and
+better advice to be had.
+
+He consented, and I brought him to the Bath, which was about
+fifteen miles, as I remember.  Here he continued very ill of a
+fever, and kept his bed five weeks, all which time I nursed him
+and tended him myself, as much and as carefully as if I had
+been his wife; indeed, if I had been his wife I could not have
+done more.  I sat up with him so much and so often, that at
+last, indeed, he would not let me sit up any longer, and then I
+got a pallet-bed into his room, and lay in it just at his bed's
+feet.
+
+I was indeed sensibly affected with his condition, and with the
+apprehension of losing such a friend as he was, and was like to
+be to me, and I used to sit and cry by him many hours together.
+However, at last he grew better, and gave hopes that he would
+recover, as indeed he did, though very slowly.
+
+Were it otherwise than what I am going to say, I should not
+be backward to disclose it, as it is apparent I have done in
+other cases in this account; but I affirm, that through all this
+conversation, abating the freedom of coming into the chamber
+when I or he was in bed, and abating the necessary offices of
+attending him night and day when he was sick, there had not
+passed the least immodest word or action between us.  Oh
+that it had been so to the last!
+
+After some time he gathered strength and grew well apace,
+and I would have removed my pallet-bed, but he would not
+let me, till he was able to venture himself without anybody to
+sit up with him, and then I removed to my own chamber.
+
+He took many occasions to express his sense of my tenderness
+and concern for him; and when he grew quite well, he made me
+a present of fifty guineas for my care and, as he called it, for
+hazarding my life to save his.
+
+And now he made deep protestations of a sincere inviolable
+affection for me, but all along attested it to be with the utmost
+reserve for my virtue and his own.  I told him I was fully
+satisfied of it.  He carried it that length that he protested to me,
+that if he was naked in bed with me, he would as sacredly
+preserve my virtue as he would defend it if I was assaulted by
+a ravisher.  I believed him, and told him I did so; but this did
+not satisfy him, he would, he said, wait for some opportunity
+to give me an undoubted testimony of it.
+
+It was a great while after this that I had occasion, on my own
+business, to go to Bristol, upon which he hired me a coach,
+and would go with me, and did so; and now indeed our intimacy
+increased.  From Bristol he carried me to Gloucester, which
+was merely a journey of pleasure, to take the air; and here it
+was our hap to have no lodging in the inn but in one large
+chamber with two beds in it.  The master of the house going
+up with us to show his rooms, and coming into that room,
+said very frankly to him, 'Sir, it is none of my business to inquire
+whether the lady be your spouse or no, but if not, you may lie
+as honestly in these two beds as if you were in two chambers,'
+and with that he pulls a great curtain which drew quite across
+the room and effectually divided the beds.  'Well,' says my
+friend, very readily, 'these beds will do, and as for the rest, we
+are too near akin to lie together, though we may lodge near
+one another'; and this put an honest face on the thing too.
+When we came to go to bed, he decently went out of the room
+till I was in bed, and then went to bed in the bed on his own
+side of the room, but lay there talking to me a great while.
+
+At last, repeating his usual saying, that he could lie naked in
+the bed with me and not offer me the least injury, he starts out
+of his bed.  'And now, my dear,' says he, 'you shall see how
+just I will be to you, and that I can keep my word,' and away
+he comes to my bed.
+
+I resisted a little, but I must confess I should not have resisted
+him much if he had not made those promises at all; so after a
+little struggle, as I said, I lay still and let him come to bed.
+When he was there he took me in his arms, and so I lay all
+night with him, but he had no more to do with me, or offered
+anything to me, other than embracing me, as I say, in his arms,
+no, not the whole night, but rose up and dressed him in the
+morning, and left me as innocent for him as I was the day I
+was born.
+
+This was a surprising thing to me, and perhaps may be so to
+others, who know how the laws of nature work; for he was a
+strong, vigorous, brisk person; nor did he act thus on a principle
+of religion at all, but of mere affection; insisting on it, that
+though I was to him to most agreeable woman in the world,
+yet, because he loved me, he could not injure me.
+
+I own it was a noble principle, but as it was what I never
+understood before, so it was to me perfectly amazing.  We
+traveled the rest of the journey as we did before, and came
+back to the Bath, where, as he had opportunity to come to
+me when he would, he often repeated the moderation, and I
+frequently lay with him, and he with me, and although all the
+familiarities between man and wife were common to us, yet
+he never once offered to go any farther, and he valued himself
+much upon it.  I do not say that I was so wholly pleased with
+it as he thought I was, for I own much wickeder than he, as
+you shall hear presently.
+
+We lived thus near two years, only with this exception, that
+he went three times to London in that time, and once he
+continued there four months; but, to do him justice, he always
+supplied me with money to subsist me very handsomely.
+
+Had we continued thus, I confess we had had much to boast
+of; but as wise men say, it is ill venturing too near the brink of
+a command, so we found it; and here again I must do him the
+justice to own that the first breach was not on his part.  It was
+one night that we were in bed together warm and merry, and
+having drunk, I think, a little more wine that night, both of us,
+than usual, although not in the least to disorder either of us,
+when, after some other follies which I cannot name, and being
+clasped close in his arms, I told him (I repeat it with shame
+and horror of soul) that I could find in my heart to discharge
+him of his engagement for one night and no more.
+
+He took me at my word immediately, and after that there was
+no resisting him; neither indeed had I any mind to resist him
+any more, let what would come of it.
+
+Thus the government of our virtue was broken, and I
+exchanged the place of friend for that unmusical, harsh-sounding
+title of whore.  In the morning we were both at our penitentials;
+I cried very heartily, he expressed himself very sorry; but that
+was all either of us could do at that time, and the way being
+thus cleared, and the bars of virtue and conscience thus removed,
+we had the less difficult afterwards to struggle with.
+
+It was but a dull kind of conversation that we had together
+for all the rest of that week; I looked on him with blushes, and
+every now and then started that melancholy objection, 'What
+if I should be with child now?  What will become of me then?'
+He encouraged me by telling me, that as long as I was true to
+him, he would be so to me; and since it was gone such a length
+(which indeed he never intended), yet if I was with child, he
+would take care of that, and of me too.  This hardened us both.
+I assured him if I was with child, I would die for want of a
+midwife rather than name him as the father of it; and he assured
+me I should never want if I should be with child.  These mutual
+assurances hardened us in the thing, and after this we repeated
+the crime as often as we pleased, till at length, as I had feared,
+so it came to pass, and I was indeed with child.
+
+After I was sure it was so, and I had satisfied him of it too,
+we began to think of taking measures for the managing it, and
+I proposed trusting the secret to my landlady, and asking her
+advice, which he agreed to.  My landlady, a woman (as I found)
+used to such things, made light of it; she said she knew it would
+come to that at last, and made us very merry about it.  As I said
+above, we found her an experienced old lady at such work; she
+undertook everything, engaged to procure a midwife and a nurse,
+to satisfy all inquiries, and bring us off with reputation, and she
+did so very dexterously indeed.
+
+When I grew near my time she desired my gentleman to go
+away to London, or make as if he did so.  When he was gone,
+she acquainted the parish officers that there was a lady ready
+to lie in at her house, but that she knew her husband very well,
+and gave them, as she pretended, an account of his name, which
+she called Sir Walter Cleve; telling them he was a very worthy
+gentleman, and that she would answer for all inquiries, and the
+like.  This satisfied the parish officers presently, and I lay in
+with as much credit as I could have done if I had really been
+my Lady Cleve, and was assisted in my travail by three or four
+of the best citizens' wives of Bath who lived in the neighbourhood,
+which, however, made me a little the more expensive to him.
+I often expressed my concern to him about it, but he bid me not
+be concerned at it.
+
+As he had furnished me very sufficiently with money for the
+extraordinary expenses of my lying in, I had everything very
+handsome about me, but did not affect to be gay or extravagant
+neither; besides, knowing my own circumstances, and knowing
+the world as I had done, and that such kind of things do not
+often last long, I took care to lay up as much money as I could
+for a wet day, as I called it; making him believe it was all spent
+upon the extraordinary appearance of things in my lying in.
+
+By this means, and including what he had given me as above,
+I had at the end of my lying in about two hundred guineas by
+me, including also what was left of my own.
+
+I was brought to bed of a fine boy indeed, and a charming
+child it was; and when he heard of it he wrote me a very kind,
+obliging letter about it, and then told me, he thought it would
+look better for me to come away for London as soon as I was
+up and well; that he had provided apartments for me at
+Hammersmith, as if I came thither only from London; and that
+after a little while I should go back to the Bath, and he would
+go with me.
+
+I liked this offer very well, and accordingly hired a coach on
+purpose, and taking my child, and a wet-nurse to tend and
+suckle it, and a maid-servant with me, away I went for London.
+
+He met me at Reading in his own chariot, and taking me into
+that, left the servant and the child in the hired coach, and so
+he brought me to my new lodgings at Hammersmith; with
+which I had abundance of reason to be very well pleased, for
+they were very handsome rooms, and I was very well
+accommodated.
+
+And now I was indeed in the height of what I might call my
+prosperity, and I wanted nothing but to be a wife, which,
+however, could not be in this case, there was no room for it;
+and therefore on all occasions I studied to save what I could,
+as I have said above, against a time of scarcity, knowing well
+enough that such things as these do not always continue; that
+men that keep mistresses often change them, grow weary of
+them, or jealous of them, or something or other happens to
+make them withdraw their bounty; and sometimes the ladies
+that are thus well used are not careful by a prudent conduct
+to preserve the esteem of their persons, or the nice article of
+their fidelity, and then they are justly cast off with contempt.
+
+But I was secured in this point, for as I had no inclination
+to change, so I had no manner of acquaintance in the whole
+house, and so no temptation to look any farther.  I kept no
+company but in the family when I lodged, and with the
+clergyman's lady at next door; so that when he was absent I
+visited nobody, nor did he ever find me out of my chamber
+or parlour whenever he came down; if I went anywhere to
+take the air, it was always with him.
+
+The living in this manner with him, and his with me, was
+certainly the most undesigned thing in the world; he often
+protested to me, that when he became first acquainted with
+me, and even to the very night when we first broke in upon
+our rules, he never had the least design of lying with me; that
+he always had a sincere affection for me, but not the least real
+inclination to do what he had done.  I assured him I never
+suspected him; that if I had I should not so easily have yielded
+to the freedom which brought it on, but that it was all a surprise,
+and was owing to the accident of our having yielded too far to
+our mutual inclinations that night; and indeed I have often
+observed since, and leave it as a caution to the readers of this
+story, that we ought to be cautious of gratifying our inclinations
+in loose and lewd freedoms, lest we find our resolutions of
+virtue fail us in the junction when their assistance should be
+most necessary.
+
+It is true, and I have confessed it before, that from the first
+hour I began to converse with him, I resolved to let him lie
+with me, if he offered it; but it was because I wanted his help
+and assistance, and I knew no other way of securing him than
+that.  But when were that night together, and, as I have said,
+had gone such a length, I found my weakness; the inclination
+was not to be resisted, but I was obliged to yield up all even
+before he asked it.
+
+However, he was so just to me that he never upbraided me
+with that; nor did he ever express the least dislike of my
+conduct on any other occasion, but always protested he was
+as much delighted with my company as he was the first hour
+we came together:  I mean, came together as bedfellows.
+
+It is true that he had no wife, that is to say, she was as no
+wife to him, and so I was in no danger that way, but the just
+reflections of conscience oftentimes snatch a man, especially
+a man of sense, from the arms of a mistress, as it did him at
+last, though on another occasion.
+
+On the other hand, though I was not without secret reproaches
+of my own conscience for the life I led, and that even in the
+greatest height of the satisfaction I ever took, yet I  had the
+terrible prospect of poverty and starving, which lay on me as
+a frightful spectre, so that there was no looking behind me.
+But as poverty brought me into it, so fear of poverty kept me
+in it, and I frequently resolved to leave it quite off, if I could
+but come to lay up money enough to maintain me.  But these
+were thoughts of no weight, and whenever he came to me they
+vanished; for his company was so delightful, that there was no
+being melancholy when he was there; the reflections were all
+the subject of those hours when I was alone.
+
+I lived six years in this happy but unhappy condition, in which
+time I brought him three children, but only the first of them
+lived; and though I removed twice in those six years, yet I came
+ back the sixth year to my first lodgings at Hammersmith.
+Here it was that I was one morning surprised with a kind but
+melancholy letter from my gentleman, intimating that he was
+very ill, and was afraid he should have another fit of sickness,
+but that his wife's relations being in the house with him, it
+would not be practicable to have me with him, which, however,
+he expressed his great dissatisfaction in, and that he wished I
+could be allowed to tend and nurse him as I did before.
+
+I was very much concerned at this account, and was very
+impatient to know how it was with him.  I waited a fortnight
+or thereabouts, and heard nothing, which surprised me, and I
+began to be very uneasy indeed.  I think, I may say, that for
+the next fortnight I was near to distracted.  It was my particular
+difficulty that I did not know directly where he was; for I
+understood at first he was in the lodgings of his wife's mother;
+but having removed myself to London, I soon found, by the
+help of the direction I had for writing my letters to him, how
+to inquire after him, and there I found that he was at a house
+in Bloomsbury, whither he had, a little before he fell sick,
+removed his whole family; and that his wife and wife's mother
+were in the same house, though the wife was not suffered to
+know that she was in the same house with her husband.
+
+Here I also soon understood that he was at the last extremity,
+which made me almost at the last extremity too, to have a true
+account.  One night I had the curiosity to disguise myself like
+a servant-maid, in a round cap and straw hat, and went to the
+door, as sent by a lady of his neighbourhood, where he lived
+before, and giving master and mistress's service, I said I was
+sent to know how Mr. ---- did, and how he had rested that night.
+In delivering this message I got the opportunity I desired; for,
+speaking with one of the maids, I held a long gossip's tale with
+her, and had all the particulars of his illness, which I found was
+a pleurisy, attended with a cough and a fever.  She told me also
+who was in the house, and how his wife was, who, by her
+relation, they were in some hopes might recover her understanding;
+but as to the gentleman himself, in short she told me the doctors
+said there was very little hopes of him, that in the morning
+they thought he had been dying, and that he was but little better
+then, for they did not expect that he could live over the next
+night.
+
+This was heavy news for me, and I began now to see an end
+of my prosperity, and to see also that it was very well I had
+played to good housewife, and secured or saved something
+while he was alive, for that now I had no view of my own
+living before me.
+
+It lay very heavy upon my mind, too, that I had a son, a fine
+lovely boy, about five years old, and no provision made for it,
+at least that I knew of.  With these considerations, and a sad
+heart, I went home that evening, and began to cast with myself
+how I should live, and in what manner to bestow myself, for
+the residue of my life.
+
+You may be sure I could not rest without inquiring again very
+quickly what was become of him; and not venturing to go
+myself, I sent several sham messengers, till after a fortnight's
+waiting longer, I found that there was hopes of his life, though
+he was still very ill; then I abated my sending any more to the
+house, and in some time after I learned in the neighbourhood
+that he was about house, and then that he was abroad again.
+
+I made no doubt then but that I should soon hear of him,
+and began to comfort myself with my circumstances being, as
+I thought, recovered. I waited a week, and two weeks, and
+with much surprise and amazement I waited near two months
+and heard nothing, but that, being recovered, he was gone into
+the country for the air, and for the better recovery after his
+distemper.  After this it was yet two months more, and then I
+understood he was come to his city house again, but still I
+heard nothing from him.
+
+I had written several letters for him, and directed them as
+usual, and found two or three of them had been called for, but
+not the rest.  I wrote again in a more pressing manner than
+ever, and in one of them let him know, that I must be forced
+to wait on him myself, representing my circumstances, the rent
+of lodgings to pay, and the provision for the child wanting, and
+my own deplorable condition, destitute of subsistence for his
+most solemn engagement to take care of and provide for me.
+I took a copy of this letter, and finding it lay at the house near
+a month and was not called for, I found means to have the copy
+of it put into his own hands at a coffee-house, where I had by
+inquiry found he used to go.
+
+This letter forced an answer from him, by which, though I
+found I was to be abandoned, yet I found he had sent a letter
+to me some time before, desiring me to go down to the Bath
+again.  Its contents I shall come to presently.
+
+It is true that sick-beds are the time when such correspondences
+as this are looked on with different countenances, and seen
+with other eyes than we saw them with, or than they appeared
+with before.  My lover had been at the gates of death, and at
+the very brink of eternity; and, it seems, had been struck with
+a due remorse, and with sad reflections upon his past life of
+gallantry and levity; and among the rest, criminal correspondence
+with me, which was neither more nor less than a long-continued
+life of adultery, and represented itself as it really was, not as
+it had been formerly thought by him to be, and he looked upon
+it now with a just and religious abhorrence.
+
+I cannot but observe also, and leave it for the direction of my
+sex in such cases of pleasure, that whenever sincere repentance
+succeeds such a crime as this, there never fails to attend a
+hatred of the object; and the more the affection might seem to
+be before, the hatred will be the more in proportion.  It will
+always be so, indeed it can be no otherwise; for there cannot
+be a true and sincere abhorrence of the offence, and the love
+to the cause of it remain; there will, with an abhorrence of the
+sin, be found a detestation of the fellow-sinner; you can expect
+no other.
+
+I found it so here, though good manners and justice in this
+gentleman kept him from carrying it on to any extreme but the
+short history of his part in this affair was thus:  he perceived
+by my last letter, and by all the rest, which he went for after,
+that I was not gone to Bath, that his first letter had not come
+to my hand; upon which he write me this following:--
+
+
+'MADAM,--I am surprised that my letter, dated the 8th of last
+month, did not come to your hand; I give you my word it was
+delivered at your lodgings, and to the hands of your maid.
+
+'I need not acquaint you with what has been my condition
+for some time past; and how, having been at the edge of the
+grave, I am, by the unexpected and undeserved mercy of
+Heaven, restored again.  In the condition I have been in, it
+cannot be strange to you that our unhappy correspondence
+had not been the least of the burthens which lay upon my
+conscience.  I need say no more; those things that must be
+repented of, must be also reformed.
+
+I wish you would think of going back to the Bath.  I enclose
+you here a bill for #50 for clearing yourself at your lodgings,
+and carrying you down, and hope it will be no surprise to you
+to add, that on this account only, and not for any offence given
+me on your side, I can see you no more.  I will take due care
+of the child; leave him where he is, or take him with you, as
+you please.  I wish you the like reflections, and that they may
+be to your advantage.--I am,' etc.
+
+
+I was struck with this letter as with a thousand wounds, such
+as I cannot describe; the reproaches of my own conscience were
+such as I cannot express, for I was not blind to my own crime;
+and I reflected that I might with less offence have continued
+with my brother, and lived with him as a wife, since there was
+ no crime in our marriage on that score, neither of us knowing it.
+
+But I never once reflected that I was all this while a married
+woman, a wife to Mr. ---- the linen-draper, who, though he
+had left me by the necessity of his circumstances, had no power
+to discharge me from the marriage contract which was between
+us, or to give me a legal liberty to marry again; so that I had
+been no less than a whore and an adulteress all this while.  I
+then reproached myself with the liberties I had taken, and how
+I had been a snare to this gentleman, and that indeed I was
+principal in the crime; that now he was mercifully snatched out
+of the gulf by a convincing work upon his mind, but that I was
+left as if I was forsaken of God's grace, and abandoned by
+Heaven to a continuing in my wickedness.
+
+Under these reflections I continued very pensive and sad for
+near month, and did not go down to the Bath, having no
+inclination to be with the woman whom I was with before;
+lest, as I thought, she should prompt me to some wicked
+course of life again, as she had done; and besides, I was very
+loth she should know I was cast off as above.
+
+And now I was greatly perplexed about my little boy.  It was
+death to me to part with the child, and yet when I considered
+the danger of being one time or other left with him to keep
+without a maintenance to support him, I then resolved to leave
+him where he was; but then I concluded also to be near him
+myself too, that I then might have the satisfaction of seeing
+him, without the care of providing for him.
+
+I sent my gentleman a short letter, therefore, that I had obeyed
+his orders in all things but that of going back to the Bath,
+which I could not think of for many reasons; that however
+parting from him was a wound to me that I could never recover,
+yet that I was fully satisfied his reflections were just, and would
+be very far from desiring to obstruct his reformation or repentance.
+
+Then I represented my own circumstances to him in the most
+moving terms that I was able.  I told him that those unhappy
+distresses which first moved him to a generous and an honest
+friendship for me, would, I hope, move him to a little concern
+for me now, though the criminal part of our correspondence,
+which I believed neither of us intended to fall into at the time,
+was broken off; that I desired to repent as sincerely as he had
+done, but entreated him to put me in some condition that I
+might not be exposed to the temptations which the devil never
+fails to excite us to from the frightful prospect of poverty and
+distress; and if he had the least apprehensions of my being
+troublesome to him, I begged he would put me in a posture
+to go back to my mother in Virginia, from when he knew I
+came, and that would put an end to all his fears on that account.
+I concluded, that if he would send me #50 more to facilitate
+my going away, I would send him back a general release, and
+would promise never to disturb him more with any importunities;
+unless it was to hear of the well-doing of the child, whom, if
+I found my mother living and my circumstances able, I would
+send for to come over to me, and take him also effectually off
+his hands.
+
+This was indeed all a cheat thus far, viz. that I had no intention
+to go to Virginia, as the account of my former affairs there may
+convince anybody of; but the business was to get this last #50
+of him, if possible, knowing well enough it would be the last
+penny I was ever to expect.
+
+However, the argument I used, namely, of giving him a general
+release, and never troubling him any more, prevailed effectually
+with him, and he sent me a bill for the money by a person who
+brought with him a general release for me to sign, and which
+I frankly signed, and received the money; and thus, though full
+sore against my will, a final end was put to this affair.
+
+And here I cannot but reflect upon the unhappy consequence
+of too great freedoms between persons stated as we were,
+upon the pretence of innocent intentions, love of friendship,
+and the like; for the flesh has generally so great a share in those
+friendships, that is great odds but inclination prevails at last
+over the most solemn resolutions; and that vice breaks in at
+the breaches of decency, which really innocent friendship ought
+to preserve with the greatest strictness.  But I leave the readers
+of these things to their own just reflections, which they will be
+more able to make effectual than I, who so soon forgot myself,
+and am therefore but a very indifferent monitor.
+
+I was now a single person again, as I may call myself; I was
+loosed from all the obligations either of wedlock or mistress-ship
+in the world, except my husband the linen-draper, whom, I having
+not now heard from in almost fifteen years, nobody could
+blame me for thinking myself entirely freed from; seeing also he
+had at his going away told me, that if I did not hear frequently
+from him, I should conclude he was dead, and I might freely
+marry again to whom I pleased.
+
+I now began to cast up my accounts.  I had by many letters
+and much importunity, and with the intercession of my mother
+too, had a second return of some goods from my brother (as I
+now call him) in Virginia, to make up the damage of the cargo
+I brought away with me, and this too was upon the condition
+of my sealing a general release to him, and to send it him by
+his correspondent at Bristol, which, though I thought hard of,
+yet I was obliged to promise to do.  However, I managed so
+well in this case, that I got my goods away before the release
+was signed, and then I always found something or other to say
+to evade the thing, and to put off the signing it at all; till at
+length I pretended I must write to my brother, and have his
+answer, before I could do it.
+
+Including this recruit, and before I got the last #50, I found
+my strength to amount, put all together, to about #400, so
+that with that I had about #450.  I had saved above #100 more,
+but I met with a disaster with that, which was this--that a
+goldsmith in whose hands I had trusted it, broke, so I lost #70
+of my money, the man's composition not making above #30
+out of his #100.  I had a little plate, but not much, and was
+well enough stocked with clothes and linen.
+
+With this stock I had the world to begin again; but you are to
+consider that I was not now the same woman as when I lived
+at Redriff; for, first of all, I was near twenty years older, and
+did not look the better for my age, nor for my rambles to
+Virginia and back again; and though I omitted nothing that
+might set me out to advantage, except painting, for that I never
+stooped to, and had pride enough to think I did not want it, yet
+there would always be some difference seen between five-and-twenty
+and two-and-forty.
+
+I cast about innumerable ways for my future state of life, and
+began to consider very seriously what I should do, but nothing
+offered.  I took care to make the world take me for something
+more than I was, and had it given out that I was a fortune, and
+that my estate was in my own hands; the last of which was
+very true, the first of it was as above.  I had no acquaintance,
+which was one of my worst misfortunes, and the consequence
+of that was, I had no adviser, at least who could assist and
+advise together; and above all, I had nobody to whom I could
+in  confidence commit the secret of my circumstances to, and
+could depend upon for their secrecy and fidelity; and I found
+by experience, that to be friendless in the worst condition,
+next to being in want that a woman can be reduced to:  I say
+a woman, because 'tis evident men can be their own advisers,
+and their own directors, and know how to work themselves
+out of difficulties and into business better than women; but if
+a woman has no friend to communicate her affairs to, and to
+advise and assist her, 'tis ten to one but she is undone; nay,
+and the more money she has, the more danger she is in of being
+wronged and deceived; and this was my case in the affair of
+the #100 which I left in the hands of the goldsmith, as above,
+whose credit, it seems, was upon the ebb before, but I, that
+had no knowledge of things and nobody to consult with, knew
+nothing of it, and so lost my money.
+
+In the next place, when a woman is thus left desolate and void
+of counsel, she is just like a bag of money or a jewel dropped
+on the highway, which is a prey to the next comer; if a man of
+virtue and upright principles happens to find it, he will have it
+cried, and the owner may come to hear of it again; but how
+many times shall such a thing fall into hands that will make no
+scruple of seizing it for their own, to once that it shall come
+into good hands?
+
+This was evidently my case, for I was now a loose, unguided
+creature, and had no help, no assistance, no guide for my
+conduct; I knew what I aimed at and what I wanted, but knew
+nothing how to pursue the end by direct means.  I wanted to
+be placed in a settle state of living, and had I happened to meet
+with a sober, good husband, I should have been as faithful and
+true a wife to him as virtue itself could have formed.  If I had
+been otherwise, the vice came in always at the door of necessity,
+not at the door of inclination; and I understood too well, by
+the want of it, what the value of a settled life was, to do
+anything to forfeit the felicity of it; nay, I should have made
+the better wife for all the difficulties I had passed through, by
+a great deal; nor did I in any of the time that I had been a wife
+give my husbands the least uneasiness on account of my
+behaviour.
+
+But all this was nothing; I found no encouraging prospect.  I
+waited; I lived regularly, and with as much frugality as became
+my circumstances, but nothing offered, nothing presented, and
+the main stock wasted apace.  What to do I knew not; the
+terror of approaching poverty lay hard upon my spirits.  I had
+some money, but where to place it I knew not, nor would the
+interest of it maintain me, at least not in London.
+
+At length a new scene opened.  There was in the house where
+I lodged a north-country woman that went for a gentlewoman,
+and nothing was more frequent in her discourse than her account
+of the cheapness of provisions, and the easy way of living in
+her country; how plentiful and how cheap everything was, what
+good company they kept, and the like; till at last I told her she
+almost tempted me to go and live in her country; for I that
+was a widow, though I had sufficient to live on, yet had no
+way of increasing it; and that I found I could not live here
+under #100 a year, unless I kept no company, no servant, made
+no appearance, and buried myself in privacy, as if I was obliged
+to it by necessity.
+
+I should have observed, that she was always made to believe,
+as everybody else was, that I was a great fortune, or at least
+that I had three or four thousand pounds, if not more, and all
+in my own hands; and she was mighty sweet upon me when
+she thought me inclined in the least to go into her country.
+She said she had a sister lived near Liverpool, that her brother
+was a considerable gentleman there, and had a great estate
+also in Ireland; that she would go down there in about two
+months, and if I would give her my company thither, I should
+be as welcome as herself for a month or more as I pleased,
+till I should see how I liked the country; and if I thought fit to
+live there, she would undertake they would take care, though
+they did not entertain lodgers themselves, they would recommend
+me to some agreeable family, where I should be placed to my
+content.
+
+If this woman had known my real circumstances, she would
+never have laid so many snares, and taken so many weary steps
+to catch a poor desolate creature that was good for little when
+it was caught; and indeed I, whose case was almost desperate,
+and thought I could not be much worse, was not very anxious
+about what might befall me, provided they did me no personal
+injury; so I suffered myself, though not without a great deal
+of invitation and great professions of sincere friendship and
+real kindness--I say, I suffered myself to be prevailed upon to
+go with her, and accordingly I packed up my baggage, and put
+myself in a posture for a journey, though I did not absolutely
+know whither I was to go.
+
+And now I found myself in great distress; what little I had
+in the world was all in money, except as before, a little plate,
+some linen, and my clothes; as for my household stuff, I had
+little or none, for I had lived always in lodgings; but I had not
+one friend in the world with whom to trust that little I had, or
+to direct me how to dispose of it, and this perplexed me night
+and day.  I thought of the bank, and of the other companies in
+London, but I had no friend to commit the management of it
+to, and keep and carry about with me bank bills, tallies, orders,
+and such things, I looked upon at as unsafe; that if they were
+lost, my money was lost, and then I was undone; and, on the
+other hand, I might be robbed and perhaps murdered in a strange
+place for them.  This perplexed me strangely, and what to do I
+knew not.
+
+It came in my thoughts one morning that I would go to the
+bank myself, where I had often been to receive the interest of
+some bills I had, which had interest payable on them, and where
+I had found a clerk, to whom I applied myself, very honest and
+just to me, and particularly so fair one time that when I had
+mistold my money, and taken less than my due, and was coming
+away, he set me to rights and gave me the rest, which he might
+have put into his own pocket.
+
+I went to him and represented my case very plainly, and asked
+if he would trouble himself to be my adviser, who was a poor
+friendless widow, and knew not what to do.  He told me, if
+I desired his opinion of anything within the reach of his business,
+he would do his endeavour that I should not be wronged, but
+that he would also help me to a good sober person who was
+a grave man of his acquaintance, who was a clerk in such
+business too, though not in their house, whose judgment was
+good, and whose honesty I might depend upon.  'For,' added
+he, 'I will answer for him, and for every step he takes; if he
+wrongs you, madam, of one farthing, it shall lie at my door, I
+will make it good; and he delights to assist people in such
+cases--he does it as an act of charity.'
+
+I was a little at a stand in this discourse; but after some pause
+I told him I had rather have depended upon him, because I had
+found him honest, but if that could not be, I would take his
+recommendation sooner than any one's else.  'I dare say,
+madam,' says he, 'that you will be as well satisfied with my
+friend as with me, and he is thoroughly able to assist you,
+which I am not.'  It seems he had his hands full of the business
+of the bank, and had engaged to meddle with no other business
+that that of his office, which I heard afterwards, but did not
+understand then.  He added, that his friend should take nothing
+of me for his advice or assistance, and this indeed encouraged
+me very much.
+
+He appointed the same evening, after the bank was shut and
+business over, for me to meet him and his friend.  And indeed
+as soon as I saw his friend, and he began but to talk of the
+affair, I was fully satisfied that I had a very honest man to deal
+with; his countenance spoke it, and his character, as I heard
+afterwards, was everywhere so good, that I had no room for
+any more  doubts upon me.
+
+After the first meeting, in which I only said what I had said
+before, we parted, and he appointed me to come the next day
+to him, telling me I might in the meantime satisfy myself of
+him by inquiry, which, however, I knew not how well to do,
+having no acquaintance myself.
+
+Accordingly I met him the next day, when I entered more
+freely with him into my case.  I told him my circumstances at
+large:  that I was a widow come over from American, perfectly
+desolate and friendless; that I had a little money, and but a
+little, and was almost distracted for fear of losing it, having no
+friend in the world to trust with the management of it; that I
+was going into the north of England to live cheap, that my
+stock might not waste; that I would willingly lodge my money
+in the bank, but that I durst not carry the bills about me, and
+the like, as above; and how to correspond about it, or with
+whom, I knew not.
+
+He told me I might lodge the money in the bank as an account,
+and its being entered into the books would entitle me to the
+money at any time, and if I was in the north I might draw bills
+on the cashier and receive it when I would; but that then it
+would be esteemed as running cash, and the bank would give
+no interest for it; that I might buy stock with it, and so it would
+lie in store for me, but that then if I wanted to dispose if it, I
+must come up to town on purpose to transfer it, and even it
+would be with some difficulty I should receive the half-yearly
+dividend, unless I was here in person, or had some friend I
+could trust with having the stock in his name to do it for me,
+and that would have the same difficulty in it as before; and
+with that he looked hard at me and smiled a little.  At last, says
+he, 'Why do you not get a head steward, madam, that may take
+you and your money together into keeping, and then you would
+have the trouble taken off your hands?'  'Ay, sir, and the money
+too, it may be,' said I; 'for truly I find the hazard that way is as
+much as 'tis t'other way'; but I remember I said secretly to myself,
+'I wish you would ask me the question fairly, I would consider
+very seriously on it before I said No.'
+
+He went on a good way with me, and I thought once or twice
+he was in earnest, but to my real affliction, I found at last he
+had a wife; but when he owned he had a wife he shook his head,
+and said with some concern, that indeed he had a wife, and no
+wife.  I began to think he had been in the condition of my late
+lover, and that his wife had been distempered or lunatic, or
+some such thing.  However, we had not much more discourse
+at that time, but he told me he was in too much hurry of
+business then, but that if I would come home to his house after
+their business was over, he would by that time consider what
+might be done for me, to put my affairs in a posture of security.
+I told him I would come, and desired to know where he lived.
+He gave me a direction in writing, and when he gave it me he
+read it to me, and said, 'There 'tis, madam, if you dare trust
+yourself with me.'  'Yes, sir,' said I, 'I believe I may venture
+to trust you with myself, for you have a wife, you say, and I
+don't want a husband; besides, I dare trust you with my money,
+which is all I have in the world, and if that were gone, I may
+trust myself anywhere.'
+
+He said some things in jest that were very handsome and
+mannerly, and would have pleased me very well if they had
+been in earnest; but that passed over, I took the directions,
+and appointed to attend him at his house at seven o'clock the
+same evening.
+
+When I came he made several proposals for my placing my
+money in the bank, in order to my having interest for it; but
+still some difficulty or other came in the way, which he objected
+as not safe; and I found such a sincere disinterested honesty
+in him, that I began to muse with myself, that I had certainly
+found the honest man I wanted, and that I could never put
+myself into better hands; so I told him with a great deal of
+frankness that I had never met with a man or woman yet that
+I could trust, or in whom I could think myself safe, but that I
+saw he was so disinterestedly concerned for my safety, that I
+said I would freely trust him with the management of that little
+I had, if he would accept to be steward for a poor widow that
+could give him no salary.
+
+He smiled and, standing up, with great respect saluted me.
+He told me he could not but take it very kindly that I had so
+good an opinion of him; that he would not deceive me, that
+he would do anything in his power to serve me, and expect
+no salary; but that he could not by any means accept of a trust,
+that it might bring him to be suspected of self-interest, and that
+if I should die he might have disputes with my executors, which
+he should be very loth to encumber himself with.
+
+I told him if those were all his objections I would soon remove
+them, and convince him that there was not the least room for
+any difficulty; for that, first, as for suspecting him, if ever I
+should do it, now is the time to suspect him, and not put the
+trust into his hands, and whenever I did suspect him, he could
+but throw it up then and refuse to go any further.  Then, as to
+executors, I assured him I had no heirs, nor any relations in
+England, and I should alter my condition before I died, and
+then his trust and trouble should cease together, which,
+however, I had no prospect of yet; but I told him if I died as
+I was, it should be all his own, and he would deserve it by
+being so faithful to me as I was satisfied he would be.
+
+He changed his countenance at this discourse, and asked me
+how I came to have so much good-will for him; and, looking
+very much pleased, said he might very lawfully wish he was
+a single man for my sake.  I smiled, and told him as he was
+not, my offer could have no design upon him in it, and to wish,
+as he did, was not to be allowed, 'twas criminal to his wife.
+
+He told me I was wrong.  'For,' says he, 'madam, as I said
+before, I have a wife and no wife, and 'twould be no sin to me
+to wish her hanged, if that were all.'  'I know nothing of your
+circumstances that way, sir,' said I; 'but it cannot be innocent
+to wish your wife dead.'  'I tell you,' says he again, 'she is a
+wife and no wife; you don't know what I am, or what she is.'
+
+'That's true,' said I; 'sir, I do not know what you are, but I
+believe you to be an honest man, and that's the cause of all
+my confidence in you.'
+
+'Well, well,' says he, 'and so I am, I hope, too.  But I am
+something else too, madam; for,' says he, 'to be plain with you,
+I am a cuckold, and she is a whore.'  He spoke it in a kind of
+jest, but it was with such an awkward smile, that I perceived
+it was what struck very close to him, and he looked dismally
+when he said it.
+
+'That alters the case indeed, sir,' said I, 'as to that part you
+were speaking of; but a cuckold, you know, may be an honest
+man; it does not alter that case at all.  Besides, I think,' said
+I, 'since your wife is so dishonest to you, you are too honest
+to her to own her for your wife; but that,' said I, 'is what I
+have nothing to do with.'
+
+'Nay,' says he, 'I do not think to clear my hands of her; for,
+to be plain with you, madam,' added he, 'I am no contended
+cuckold neither:  on the other hand, I assure you it provokes
+me the highest degree, but I can't help myself; she that will
+be a whore, will be a whore.'
+
+I waived the discourse and began to talk of my business; but
+I found he could not have done with it, so I let him alone, and
+he went on to tell me all the circumstances of his case, too
+long to relate here; particularly, that having been out of England
+some time before he came to the post he was in, she had had
+two children in the meantime by an officer of the army; and
+that when he came to England and, upon her submission, took
+her again, and maintained her very well, yet she ran away from
+him with a linen-draper's apprentice, robbed him of what she
+could come at, and continued to live from him still.  'So that,
+madam,' says he, 'she is a whore not by necessity, which is
+the common bait of your sex, but by inclination, and for the
+sake of the vice.'
+
+Well, I pitied him, and wished him well rid of her, and still
+would have talked of my business, but it would not do.  At
+last he looks steadily at me.  'Look you, madam,' says he,
+'you came to ask advice of me, and I will serve you as faithfully
+as if you were my own sister; but I must turn the tables, since
+you oblige me to do it, and are so friendly to me, and I think
+I must ask advice of you.  Tell me, what must a poor abused
+fellow do with a whore?  What can I do to do myself justice
+upon her?'
+
+'Alas! sir,' says I, ''tis a case too nice for me to advise in, but
+it seems she has run away from you, so you are rid of her
+fairly; what can you desire more?'  'Ay, she is gone indeed,'
+said he, 'but I am not clear of her for all that.'
+
+'That's true,' says I; 'she may indeed run you into debt, but
+the law has furnished you with methods to prevent that also;
+you may cry her down, as they call it.'
+
+'No, no,' says he, 'that is not the case neither; I have taken
+care of all that; 'tis not that part that I speak of, but I would
+be rid of her so that I might marry again.'
+
+'Well, sir,' says I, 'then you must divorce her.  If you can
+prove what you say, you may certainly get that done, and then,
+I suppose, you are free.'
+
+'That's very tedious and expensive,' says he.
+
+'Why,' says I, 'if you can get any woman you like to take your
+word, I suppose your wife would not dispute the liberty with
+you that she takes herself.'
+
+'Ay,' says he, 'but 'twould be hard to bring an honest woman
+to do that; and for the other sort,' says he, 'I have had enough
+of her to meddle with any more whores.'
+
+It occurred to me presently, 'I would have taken your word
+with all my heart, if you had but asked me the question';
+but that was to myself.  To him I replied, 'Why, you shut the
+door against any honest woman accepting you, for you condemn
+all that should venture upon you at once, and conclude, that
+really a woman that takes you now can't be honest.'
+
+'Why,' says he, 'I wish you would satisfy me that an honest
+woman would take me; I'd venture it'; and then turns short
+upon me, 'Will you take me, madam?'
+
+'That's not a fair question,' says I, 'after what you have said;
+however, lest you should think I wait only for a recantation
+of it, I shall answer you plainly, No, not I; my business is of
+another kind with you, and I did not expect you would have
+turned my serious application to you, in my own distracted
+case, into a comedy.'
+
+'Why, madam,' says he, 'my case is as distracted as yours can
+be, and I stand in as much need of advice as you do, for I think
+if I have not relief somewhere, I shall be made myself, and I
+know not what course to take, I protest to you.'
+
+'Why, sir,' says I, ''tis easy to give advice in your case, much
+easier than it is in mine.'  'Speak then,' says he, 'I beg of you,
+for now you encourage me.'
+
+'Why,' says I, 'if your case is so plain as you say it is, you may
+be legally divorced, and then you may find honest women
+enough to ask the question of fairly; the sex is not so scarce
+that you can want a wife.'
+
+'Well, then,' said he, 'I am in earnest; I'll take your advice;
+but shall I ask you one question seriously beforehand?'
+
+'Any question,' said I, 'but that you did before.'
+
+'No, that answer will not do,' said he, 'for, in short, that is the
+question I shall ask.'
+
+'You may ask what questions you please, but you have my
+answer to that already,' said I.  'Besides, sir,' said I, 'can you
+think so ill of me as that I would give any answer to such a
+question beforehand?  Can any woman alive believe you in
+earnest, or think you design anything but to banter her?'
+
+'Well, well,' says he, 'I do not banter you, I am in earnest;
+consider of it.'
+
+'But, sir,' says I, a little gravely, 'I came to you about my own
+business; I beg of you to let me know, what you will advise me
+to do?'
+
+'I will be prepared,' says he, 'against you come again.'
+
+'Nay,' says I, 'you have forbid my coming any more.'
+
+'Why so?' said he, and looked a little surprised.
+
+'Because,' said I, 'you can't expect I should visit you on the
+account you talk of.'
+
+'Well,' says he, 'you shall promise me to come again, however,
+and I will not say any more of it till I have gotten the divorce,
+but I desire you will prepare to be better conditioned when
+that's done, for you shall be the woman, or I will not be
+divorced at all; why, I owe it to your unlooked-for kindness,
+if it were to nothing else, but I have other reasons too.'
+
+He could not have said anything in the world that pleased me
+better; however, I knew that the way to secure him was to
+stand off while the thing was so remote, as it appeared to be,
+and that it was time enough to accept of it when he was able
+to perform it; so I said very respectfully to him, it was time
+enough to consider of these things when he was in a condition
+to talk of them; in the meantime, I told him, I was going a
+great way from him, and he would find objects enough to
+please him better.  We broke off here for the present, and he
+made me promise him to come again the next day, for his
+resolutions upon my own business, which after some pressing
+I did; though had he seen farther into me, I wanted no pressing
+on that account.
+
+I came the next evening, accordingly, and brought my maid
+with me, to let him see that I kept a maid, but I sent her away
+as soon as I was gone in.  He would have had me let the maid
+have stayed, but I would not, but ordered her aloud to come
+for me again about nine o'clock.  But he forbade that, and told
+me he would see me safe home, which, by the way, I was not
+very well please with, supposing he might do that to know
+where I lived and inquire into my character and circumstances.
+However, I ventured that, for all that the people there or
+thereabout knew of me, was to my advantage; and all the
+character he had of me, after he had inquired, was that I was
+a woman of fortune, and that I was a very modest, sober body;
+which, whether true or not in the main, yet you may see how
+necessary it is for all women who expect anything in the world,
+to preserve the character of their virtue, even when perhaps
+they may have sacrificed the thing itself.
+
+I found, and was not a little please with it, that he had provided
+a supper for me.  I found also he lived very handsomely, and
+had a house very handsomely furnished; all of which I was
+rejoiced at indeed, for I looked upon it as all my own.
+
+We had now a second conference upon the subject-matter of
+the last conference.  He laid his business very home indeed; he
+protested his affection to me, and indeed I had no room to
+doubt it; he declared that it began from the first moment I
+talked with him, and long before I had mentioned leaving my
+effects with him.  ''Tis no matter when it began,' thought I;
+'if it will but hold, 'twill be well enough.'  He then told me
+how much the offer I had made of trusting him with my effects,
+and leaving them to him, had engaged him.  'So I intended it
+should,' thought I, 'but then I thought you had been a single
+man too.'  After we had supped, I observed he pressed me
+very hard to drink two or three glasses of wine, which, however,
+I declined, but drank one glass or two.  He then told me he
+had a proposal to make to me, which I should promise him I
+would not take ill if I should not grant it.  I told him I hoped
+he would make no dishonourable proposal to me, especially
+in his own house, and that if it was such, I desired he would
+not propose it, that I might not be obliged to offer any
+resentment to him that did not become the respect I professed
+for him, and the trust I had placed in him in coming to his house;
+and begged of him he would give me leave to go away, and
+accordingly began to put on my gloves and prepare to be gone,
+though at the same time I no more intended it than he intended
+to let me.
+
+Well, he importuned me not to talk of going; he assured me
+he had no dishonourable thing in his thoughts about me, and
+was very far from offering anything to me that was dishonourable,
+and if I thought so, he would choose to say no more of it.
+
+That part I did not relish at all.  I told him I was ready to hear
+anything that he had to say, depending that he would say nothing
+unworthy of himself, or unfit for me to hear.  Upon this, he
+told me his proposal was this:  that I would marry him, though
+he had not yet obtained the divorce from the whore his wife;
+and to satisfy me that he meant honourably, he would promise
+not to desire me to live with him, or go to bed with him till the
+divorce was obtained.  My heart said yes to this offer at first
+word, but it was necessary to play the hypocrite a little more
+with him; so I seemed to decline the motion with some warmth,
+and besides a little condemning the thing as unfair, told him
+that such a proposal could be of no signification, but to entangle
+us both in great difficulties; for if he should not at last obtain
+the divorce, yet we could not dissolve the marriage, neither
+could we proceed in it; so that if he was disappointed in the
+divorce, I left him to consider what a condition we should
+both be in.
+
+In short, I carried on the argument against this so far, that I
+convinced him it was not a proposal that had any sense in it.
+Well, then he went from it to another, and that was, that I
+would sign and seal a contract with him, conditioning to marry
+him as soon as the divorce was obtained, and to be void if he
+could not obtain it.
+
+I told him such a thing was more rational than the other; but
+as this was the first time that ever I could imagine him weak
+enough to be in earnest in this affair, I did not use to say Yes
+at first asking; I would consider of it.
+
+I played with this lover as an angler does with a trout.  I found
+I had him fast on the hook, so I jested with his new proposal,
+and put him off.  I told him he knew little of me, and bade him
+inquire about me; I let him also go home with me to my lodging,
+though I would not ask him to go in, for I told him it was not
+decent.
+
+In short, I ventured to avoid signing a contract of marriage,
+and the reason why I did it was because the lady that had
+invited me so earnestly to go with her into Lancashire insisted
+so positively upon it, and promised me such great fortunes,
+and such fine things there, that I was tempted to go and try.
+'Perhaps,' said I, 'I may mend myself very much'; and then I
+made no scruple in my thoughts of quitting my honest citizen,
+whom I was not so much in love with as not to leave him for
+a richer.
+
+In a word, I avoided a contract; but told him I would go into
+the north, that he should know where to write to me by the
+consequence of the business I had entrusted with him; that I
+would give him a sufficient pledge of my respect for him, for
+I would leave almost all I had in the world in his hands; and
+I would thus far give him my word, that as soon as he had
+sued out a divorce from his first wife, he would send me an
+account of it, I would come up to London, and that then we
+would talk seriously of the matter.
+
+It was a base design I went with, that I must confess, though
+I was invited thither with a design much worse than mine was,
+as the sequel will discover.  Well, I went with my friend, as I
+called her, into Lancashire.  All the way we went she caressed
+me with the utmost appearance of a sincere, undissembled
+affection; treated me, except my coach-hire, all the way; and
+her brother brought a gentleman's coach to Warrington to
+receive us, and we were carried from thence to Liverpool with
+as much ceremony as I could desire.  We were also entertained
+at a merchant's house in Liverpool three or four days very
+handsomely; I forbear to tell his name, because of what followed.
+Then she told me she would carry me to an uncle's house of
+hers, where we should be nobly entertained.  She did so; her
+uncle, as she called him, sent a coach and four horses for us,
+and we were carried near forty miles I know not whither.
+
+We came, however, to a gentleman's seat, where was a
+numerous family, a large park, extraordinary company indeed,
+and where she was called cousin.  I told her if she had resolved
+to bring me into such company as this, she should have let me
+have prepared myself, and have furnished myself with better
+clothes.  The ladies took notice of that, and told me very
+genteelly they did not value people in their country so much
+by their clothes as they did in London; that their cousin had
+fully informed them of my quality, and that I did not want
+clothes to set me off; in short, they entertained me, not like
+what I was, but like what they thought I had been, namely, a
+widow lady of a great fortune.
+
+The first discovery I made here was, that the family were all
+Roman Catholics, and the cousin too, whom I called my friend;
+however, I must say that nobody in the world could behave
+better to me, and I had all the civility shown me that I could
+have had if I had been of their opinion.  The truth is, I had not
+so much principle of any kind as to be nice in point of religion,
+and I presently learned to speak favourably of the Romish
+Church; particularly, I told them I saw little but the prejudice
+of education in all the difference that were among Christians
+about religion, and if it had so happened that my father had
+been a Roman Catholic, I doubted not but I should have been
+as well pleased with their religion as my own.
+
+This obliged them in the highest degree, and as I was besieged
+day and night with good company and pleasant discourse, so
+I had two or three old ladies that lay at me upon the subject
+of religion too.  I was so complaisant, that though I would not
+completely engage, yet I made no scruple to be present at their
+mass, and to conform to all their gestures as they showed me
+the pattern, but I would not come too cheap; so that I only in
+the main encouraged them to expect that I would turn Roman
+Catholic, if I was instructed in the Catholic doctrine as they
+called it, and so the matter rested.
+
+I stayed here about six weeks; and then my conductor led me
+back to a country village, about six miles from Liverpool,
+where her brother (as she called him) came to visit me in his
+own chariot, and in a very good figure, with two footmen in
+a good livery; and the next thing was to make love to me.  As
+it had happened to me, one would think I could not have been
+cheated, and indeed I thought so myself, having a safe card at
+home, which I resolved not to quit unless I could mend myself
+very much.  However, in all appearance this brother was a
+match worth my listening to, and the least his estate was valued
+at was #1000 a year, but the sister said it was worth #1500 a
+year, and  lay most of it in Ireland.
+
+I that was a great fortune, and passed for such, was above
+being asked how much my estate was; and my false friend
+taking it upon a foolish hearsay, had raised it from #500 to
+#5000, and by the time she came into the country she called
+it  #15,000.  The Irishman, for such I understood him to be,
+was stark mad at this bait; in short, he courted me, made me
+presents, and ran in debt like a madman for the expenses of
+his equipage and of  his courtship.  He had, to give him his due,
+the appearance of an extraordinary fine gentleman; he was tall,
+well-shaped, and had an extraordinary address; talked as
+naturally of his park and his stables, of his horses, his gamekeepers,
+his woods, his tenants, and his servants, as if we had been in
+the mansion-house, and I had seen them all about me.
+
+He never so much as asked me about my fortune or estate, but
+assured me that when we came to Dublin he would jointure
+me in #600 a year good land; and that we could enter into a
+deed of settlement or contract here for the performance of it.
+
+This was such language indeed as I had not been used to, and
+I was here beaten out of all my measures; I had a she-devil in
+my bosom, every hour telling me how great her brother lived.
+One time she would come for my orders, how I would have
+my coaches painted, and how lined; and another time what
+clothes my page should wear; in short, my eyes were dazzled.
+I had now lost my power of saying No, and, to cut the story
+short, I consented to be married; but to be the more private,
+we were carried farther into the country, and married by a
+Romish clergyman, who I was assured would marry us as
+effectually as a Church of England parson.
+
+I cannot say but I had some reflections in this affair upon the
+dishonourable forsaking my faithful citizen, who loved me
+sincerely, and who was endeavouring to quit himself of a
+scandalous whore by whom he had been indeed barbarously
+used, and promised himself infinite happiness in his new choice;
+which choice was now giving up herself to another in a manner
+almost as scandalous as hers could be.
+
+But the glittering shoe of a great estate, and of fine things,
+which the deceived creature that was now my deceiver
+represented every hour to my imagination, hurried me away,
+and gave me no time to think of London, or of anything there,
+much less of the obligation I had to a person of infinitely more
+real merit than what was now before me.
+
+But the thing was done; I was now in the arms of my new
+spouse, who appeared still the same as before; great even to
+magnificence, and nothing less than #1000 a year could support
+the ordinary equipage he appeared in.
+
+After we had been married about a month, he began to talk
+of my going to West Chester in order to embark for Ireland.
+However, he did not hurry me, for we stayed near three weeks
+longer, and then he sent to Chester for a coach to meet us at
+the Black Rock, as they call it, over against Liverpool.  Thither
+we went in a fine boat they call a pinnace, with six oars; his
+servants, and horses, and baggage going in the ferry-boat.
+He made his excuse to me that he had no acquaintance in
+Chester, but he would go before and get some handsome
+apartment for me at a private house.  I asked him how long
+we should stay at Chester.  He said, not at all, any longer than
+one night or two, but he would immediately hire a coach to
+go to Holyhead.  Then I told him he should by no means give
+ himself the trouble to get private lodgings for one night or
+two, for that Chester being a great place, I made no doubt but
+there would be very good inns and accommodation enough;
+so we lodged at an inn in the West Street, not far from the
+Cathedral; I forget what sign it was at.
+
+Here my spouse, talking of my going to Ireland, asked me if
+I had no affairs to settle at London before we went off.  I
+told him No, not of any great consequence, but what might be
+done as well by letter from Dublin.  'Madam,' says he, very
+respectfully, 'I suppose the greatest part of your estate, which
+my sister tells me is most of it in money in the Bank of England,
+lies secure enough, but in case it required transferring, or any
+way altering its property, it might be necessary to go up to
+London and settle those things before we went over.'
+
+I seemed to look strange at it, and told him I knew not what
+he meant; that I had no effects in the Bank of England that I
+knew of; and I hoped he could not say that I had ever told him
+I had.  No, he said, I had not told him so, but his sister had
+said the greatest part of my estate lay there.  'And I only
+mentioned it, me dear,' said he, 'that if there was any occasion
+to settle it, or order anything about it, we might not be obliged
+to the hazard and trouble of another voyage back again'; for
+he added, that he did not care to venture me too much upon
+the sea.
+
+I was surprised at this talk, and began to consider very seriously
+what the meaning of it must be; and it presently occurred to me
+that my friend, who called him brother, had represented me in
+colours which were not my due; and I thought, since it was come
+to that pitch, that I would know the bottom of it before I went
+out of England, and before I should put myself into I knew not
+whose hands in a strange country.
+
+Upon this I called his sister into my chamber the next morning,
+and letting her know the discourse her brother and I had
+been upon the evening before, I conjured her to tell me what
+she had said to him, and upon what foot it was that she had
+made this marriage.  She owned that she had told him that I
+was a great fortune, and said that she was told so at London.
+'Told so!' says I warmly; 'did I ever tell you so?'  No, she
+said, it was true I did not tell her so, but I had said several
+times that what I had was in my own disposal.  'I did so,'
+returned I very quickly and hastily, 'but I never told you I had
+anything called a fortune; no, not that I had #100, or the value
+of #100, in the world.  Any how did it consist with my being
+a fortune,' said I, 'that I should come here into the north of
+England with you, only upon the account of living cheap?'
+At these words, which I spoke warm and high, my husband,
+her brother (as she called him), came into the room, and I
+desired him to come and sit down, for I had something of
+moment to say before them both, which it was absolutely
+necessary he should hear.
+
+He looked a little disturbed at the assurance with which I
+seemed to speak it, and came and sat down by me, having first
+shut the door; upon which I began, for I was very much provoked,
+and turning myself to him, 'I am afraid,' says I, 'my dear' (for
+I spoke with kindness on his side), 'that you have a very great
+abuse put upon you, and an injury done you never to be
+repaired in your marrying me, which, however, as I have had
+no hand in it, I desire I may be fairly acquitted of it, and that
+the blame may lie where it ought to lie, and nowhere else, for
+I wash my hands of every part of it.'
+
+'What injury can be done me, my dear,' says he, 'in marrying
+you.  I hope it is to my honour and advantage every way.'  'I
+will soon explain it to you,' says I, 'and I fear you will have
+no reason to think yourself well used; but I will convince you,
+my dear,' says I again, 'that I have had no hand in it'; and there
+I stopped a while.
+
+He looked now scared and wild, and began, I believe, to
+suspect what followed; however, looking towards me, and
+saying only, 'Go on,' he sat silent, as if to hear what I had
+more to say; so I went on.  'I asked you last night,' said I,
+speaking to him, 'if ever I made any boast to you of my estate,
+or ever told you I had any estate in the Bank of England or
+anywhere else, and you owned I had not, as is most true; and
+I desire you will tell me here, before your sister, if ever I gave
+you any reason from me to think so, or that ever we had any
+discourse about it'; and he owned again I had not, but said I
+had appeared always as a woman of fortune, and he depended
+on it that I was so, and hoped he was not deceived.  'I am not
+inquiring yet whether you have been deceived or not,' said I;
+'I fear you have, and I too; but I am clearing myself from the
+unjust charge of being concerned in deceiving you.
+
+'I have been now asking your sister if ever I told her of any
+fortune or estate I had, or gave her any particulars of it; and
+she owns I never did.  Any pray, madam,' said I, turning myself
+to her, 'be so just to me, before your brother, to charge me,
+if you can, if ever I pretended to you that I had an estate; and
+why, if I had, should I come down into this country with you
+on purpose to spare that little I had, and live cheap?'  She
+could not deny one word, but said she had been told in London
+that I had a very great fortune, and that it lay in the Bank of
+England.
+
+'And now, dear sir,' said I, turning myself to my new spouse
+again, 'be so just to me as to tell me who has abused both you
+and me so much as to make you believe I was a fortune, and
+prompt you to court me to this marriage?'  He could not speak
+a word, but pointed to her; and, after some more pause, flew
+out in the most furious passion that ever I saw a man in my
+life, cursing her, and calling her all the whores and hard names
+he could think of; and that she had ruined him, declaring that
+she had told him I had #15,000, and that she was to have #500
+of him for procuring this match for him.  He then added,
+directing his speech to me, that she was none of his sister, but
+had been his whore for two years before, that she had had #100
+of him in part of this bargain, and that he was utterly undone
+if things were as I said; and in his raving he swore he would
+let her heart's blood out immediately, which frightened her
+and me too.  She cried, said she had been told so in the house
+where I lodged.  But this aggravated him more than before,
+that she should put so far upon him, and run things such a
+length upon no other authority than a hearsay; and then, turning
+to me again, said very honestly, he was afraid we were both
+undone.  'For, to be plain, my dear, I have no estate,' says he;
+'what little I had, this devil has made me run out in waiting
+on you and putting me into this equipage.'  She took the
+opportunity of his being earnest in talking with me, and got
+out of the room, and I never saw her more.
+
+I was confounded now as much as he,  and knew not what to
+say.  I thought many ways that I had the worst of it, but his
+saying he was undone, and that he had no estate neither, put
+me into a mere distraction.  'Why,' says I to him, 'this has
+been a hellish juggle, for we are married here upon the foot
+of a double fraud; you are undone by the disappointment, it
+seems; and if I had had a fortune I had been cheated too, for
+you say you have nothing.'
+
+'You would indeed have been cheated, my dear,' says he, 'but
+you would not have been undone, for #15,000 would have
+maintained us both very handsomely in this country; and I
+assure you,' added he, 'I had resolved to have dedicated every
+groat of it to you; I would not have wronged you of a shilling,
+and the rest I would have made up in my affection to you, and
+tenderness of you, as long as I lived.'
+
+This was very honest indeed, and I really believe he spoke
+as he intended, and that he was a man that was as well qualified
+to make me happy, as to his temper and behaviour, as any
+man ever was; but his having no estate, and being run into debt
+on this ridiculous account in the country, made all the prospect
+dismal and dreadful, and I knew not what to say, or what to
+think of myself.
+
+I told him it was very unhappy that so much love, and so much
+good nature as I discovered in him, should be thus precipitated
+into misery; that I saw nothing before us but ruin; for as to me,
+it was my unhappiness that what little I had was not able to
+relieve us week, and with that I pulled out a bank bill of #20
+and eleven guineas, which I told him I had saved out of  my
+little income, and that by the account that creature had given
+me of the way of living in that country, I expected it would
+maintain me three or four years; that if it was taken from me,
+I was left destitute, and he knew what the condition of a woman
+among strangers must be, if she had no money in her pocket;
+however, I told him, if he would take it, there it was.
+
+He told me with a great concern, and I thought I saw tears
+stand in his eyes, that he would not touch it; that he abhorred
+the thoughts of stripping me and make me miserable; that, on
+the contrary, he had fifty guineas left, which was all he had in
+the world, and he pulled it out and threw it down on the table,
+bidding me take it, though he were to starve for want of it.
+
+I returned, with the same concern for him, that I could not
+bear to hear him talk so; that, on the contrary, if he could
+propose any probable method of living, I would do anything
+that became me on my part, and that I would live as close
+and as narrow as he could desire.
+
+He begged of me to talk no more at that rate, for it would
+make him distracted; he said he was bred a gentleman, though
+he was reduced to a low fortune, and that there was but one
+way left which he could think of, and that would not do,
+unless I could answer him one question, which, however, he
+said he would not press me to.  I told him I would answer it
+honestly; whether it would be to his satisfaction or not, that
+I could not tell.
+
+'Why, then, my dear, tell me plainly,' says he, 'will the little
+you have keep us together in any figure, or in any station or
+place, or will it not?'
+
+It was my happiness hitherto that I had not discovered myself
+or my circumstances at all--no, not so much as my name; and
+seeing these was nothing to be expected from him, however
+good-humoured and however honest he seemed to be, but to
+live on what I knew would soon be wasted, I resolved to
+conceal everything but the bank bill and the eleven guineas
+which I had owned; and I would have been very glad to have
+lost that and have been set down where he took me up.  I had
+indeed another bank bill about me of #30, which was the whole
+of what I brought with me, as well to subsist on in the country,
+as not knowing what might offer; because this creature, the
+go-between that had thus betrayed us both, had made me
+believe strange things of my marrying to my advantage in the
+country, and I was not willing to be without money, whatever
+might happen.  This bill I concealed, and that made me the
+freer of the rest, in consideration of his circumstances, for I
+really pitied him heartily.
+
+But to return to his question, I told him I never willingly
+deceived him, and I never would.  I was very sorry to tell him
+that the little I had would not subsist us; that it was not
+sufficient to subsist me alone in the south country, and that
+this was the reason that made me put myself into the hands
+of that woman who called him brother, she having assured
+me that I might board very handsomely at a town called
+Manchester, where I had not yet been, for about #6 a year;
+and my whole income not being about #15 a year, I thought I
+might live easy upon it, and wait for better things.
+
+He shook his head and remained silent, and a very melancholy
+evening we had; however, we supped together, and lay together
+that night, and when we had almost supped he looked a little
+better and more cheerful, and called for a bottle of wine.  'Come,
+my dear,' says he, 'though the case is bad, it is to no purpose
+to be dejected.  Come, be as easy as you can; I will endeavour
+to find out some way or other to live; if you can but subsist
+yourself, that is better than nothing.  I must try the world again;
+a man ought to think like a man; to be discouraged is to yield
+to the misfortune.'  With this he filled a glass and drank to me,
+holding my hand and pressing it hard in his hand all the while
+the wine went down, and protesting afterwards his main
+concern was for me.
+
+It was really a true, gallant spirit he was of, and it was the
+more grievous to me.  'Tis something of relief even to be
+undone by a man of honour, rather than by a scoundrel; but
+here the greatest disappointment was on his side, for he had
+really spent a great deal of money, deluded by this madam the
+procuress; and it was very remarkable on what poor terms he
+proceeded.  First the baseness of the creature herself is to be
+observed, who, for the getting #100 herself, could be content
+to let him spend three or four more, though perhaps it was all
+he had in the world, and more than all; when she had not the
+least ground, more than a little tea-table chat, to say that I had
+any estate, or was a fortune, or the like.  It is true the design
+of deluding a woman of fortune, if I had been so, was base
+enough; the putting the face of great things upon poor
+circumstances was a fraud, and bad enough; but the case a
+little differed too, and that in his favour, for he was not a rake
+that made a trade to delude women, and, as some have done,
+get six or seven fortunes after one another, and then rifle and
+run away from them; but he was really a gentleman, unfortunate
+and low, but had lived well; and though, if I had had a fortune,
+I should have been enraged at the slut for betraying me, yet
+really for the man, a fortune would not have been ill bestowed
+on him, for he was a lovely person indeed, of generous principles,
+good sense, and of abundance of good-humour.
+
+We had a great deal of close conversation that night, for we
+neither of us slept much; he was as penitent for having put all
+those cheats upon me as if it had been felony, and that he was
+going to execution; he offered me again every shilling of the
+money he had about him, and said he would go into the army
+and seek the world for more.
+
+I asked him why he would be so unkind to carry me into
+Ireland, when I might suppose he could not have subsisted me
+there.  He took me in his arms.  'My dear,' said he, 'depend
+upon it, I never designed to go to Ireland at all, much less to
+have carried you thither, but came hither to be out of the
+observation of the people, who had heard what I pretended to,
+and withal, that nobody might ask me for money before I was
+furnished to supply them.'
+
+'But where, then,' said I, 'were we to have gone next?'
+
+'Why, my dear,' said he, 'I'll confess the whole scheme to you
+as I had laid it; I purposed here to ask you something about
+your estate, as you see I did, and when you, as I expected you
+would, had entered into some account with me of the particulars,
+I would have made an excuse to you to have put off our voyage
+to Ireland for some time, and to have gone first towards London.
+
+'Then, my dear,' said he, 'I resolved to have confessed all the
+circumstances of my own affairs to you, and let you know I
+had indeed made use of these artifices to obtain your consent
+to marry me, but had now nothing to do but ask to your pardon,
+and to tell you how abundantly, as I have said above, I would
+endeavour to make you forget what was past, by the felicity
+of the days to come.'
+
+'Truly,' said I to him, 'I find you would soon have conquered
+me; and it is my affliction now, that I am not in a condition to
+let you see how easily I should have been reconciled to you,
+and have passed by all the tricks you had put upon me, in
+recompense of so much good-humour.  But, my dear,' said I,
+'what can we do now?  We are both undone, and what better
+are we for our being reconciled together, seeing we have
+nothing to live on?'
+
+We proposed a great many things, but nothing could offer
+where there was nothing to begin with.  He begged me at last
+to talk no more of it, for, he said, I would break his heart; so
+we talked of other things a little, till at last he took a husband's
+leave of me, and so we went to sleep.
+
+He rose before me in the morning; and indeed, having lain
+awake almost all night, I was very sleepy, and lay till near
+eleven o'clock.  In this time he took his horses and three
+servants, and all his linen and baggage, and away he went,
+leaving a short but moving letter for me on the table, as
+follows:--
+
+
+'MY DEAR--I am a dog; I have abused you; but I have been
+drawn into do it by a base creature, contrary to my principle
+and the general practice of my life.  Forgive me, my dear!  I
+ask your pardon with the greatest sincerity; I am the most
+miserable of men, in having deluded you.  I have been so happy
+to posses you, and now am so wretched as to be forced to fly
+from you.  Forgive me, my dear; once more I say, forgive me!
+I am not able to see you ruined by me, and myself unable to
+support you.  Our marriage is nothing; I shall never be able to
+see you again; I here discharge you from it; if you can marry
+to your advantage, do not decline it on my account; I here
+swear to you on my faith, and on the word of a man of honour,
+I will never disturb your repose if I should know of it, which,
+however, is not likely.  On the other hand, if you should not
+marry, and if good fortune should befall me, it shall be all yours,
+wherever you are.
+
+'I have put some of the stock of money I have left into your
+pocket; take places for yourself and your maid in the stage-coach,
+and go for London; I hope it will bear your charges thither,
+without breaking into your own.  Again I sincerely ask your
+pardon, and will do so as often as I shall ever think of you.
+Adieu, my dear, for ever!--I am, your most affectionately, J.E.'
+
+
+Nothing that ever befell me in my life sank so deep into my
+heart as this farewell.  I reproached him a thousand times in
+my thoughts for leaving me, for I would have gone with him
+through the world, if I had begged my bread.  I felt in my
+pocket, and there found ten guineas, his gold watch, and two
+little rings, one a small diamond ring worth only about #6, and
+the other a plain gold ring.
+
+I sat me down and looked upon these things two hours
+together, and scarce spoke a word, till my maid interrupted
+me by telling me my dinner was ready.  I ate but little, and
+after dinner I fell into a vehement fit of crying, every now and
+then calling him by his name, which was James.  'O Jemmy!'
+said I, 'come back, come back.  I'll give you all I have; I'll
+beg, I'll starve with you.'  And thus I ran raving about the
+room several times, and then sat down between whiles, and
+then walking about again, called upon him to come back, and
+then cried again; and thus I passed the afternoon, till about
+seven o'clock, when it was near dusk, in the evening, being
+August, when, to my unspeakable surprise, he comes back
+into the inn, but without a servant, and comes directly up into
+my chamber.
+
+I was in the greatest confusion imaginable, and so was he too.
+I could not imagine what should be the occasion of it, and
+began to be at odds with myself whether to be glad or sorry;
+but my affection biassed all the rest, and it was impossible to
+conceal my joy, which was too great for smiles, for it burst
+out into tears.  He was no sooner entered the room but he ran
+to me and took me in his arms, holding me fast, and almost
+stopping my breath with his kisses, but spoke not a word.
+At length I began.  'My dear,' said I, 'how could you go away
+from me?' to which he gave no answer, for it was impossible
+for him to speak.
+
+When our ecstasies were a little over, he told me he was gone
+about fifteen miles, but it was not in his power to go any farther
+without coming back to see me again, and to take his leave of
+me once more.
+
+I told him how I had passed my time, and how loud I had
+called him to come back again.  He told me he heard me very
+plain upon Delamere Forest, at a place about twelve miles off.
+I smiled.   'Nay,' says he, 'do not think I am in jest, for if ever
+I heard your voice in my life, I heard you call me aloud, and
+sometimes I thought I saw you running after me.'  'Why,'
+said I, 'what did I say?'--for I had not named the words to him.
+'You called aloud,' says he, 'and said, O Jemmy!  O Jemmy!
+come back, come back.'
+
+I laughed at him.  'My dear,' says he, 'do not laugh, for, depend
+upon it, I heard your voice as plain as you hear mine now; if
+you please, I'll go before a magistrate and make oath of it.'  I
+then began to be amazed and surprised, and indeed frightened,
+and told him what I had really done, and how I had called after
+him, as above.
+
+When we had amused ourselves a while about this, I said to
+him:  'Well, you shall go away from me no more; I'll go all
+over the world with you rather.'  He told me it would be very
+difficult thing for him to leave me, but since it must be, he
+hoped I would make it as easy to me as I could; but as for him,
+it would be his destruction that he foresaw.
+
+However, he told me that he considered he had left me to
+travel to London alone, which was too long a journey; and
+that as he might as well go that way as any way else, he was
+resolved to see me safe thither, or near it; and if he did go
+away then without taking his leave, I should not take it ill of
+him; and this he made me promise.
+
+He told me how he had dismissed his three servants, sold
+their horses, and sent the fellows away to seek their fortunes,
+and all in a little time, at a town on the road, I know not where.
+'And,' says he, 'it cost me some tears all alone by myself, to
+think how much happier they were than their master, for they
+could go to the next gentleman's house to see for a service,
+whereas,' said he, 'I knew not wither to go, or what to do
+with myself.'
+
+I told him I was so completely miserable in parting with him,
+that I could not be worse; and that now he was come again,
+I would not go from him, if he would take me with him, let
+him go whither he would, or do what he would.  And in the
+meantime I agreed that we would go together to London; but
+I could not be brought to consent he should go away at last
+and not take his leave of me, as he proposed to do; but told
+him, jesting, that if he did, I would call him back again as loud
+as I did before.  Then I pulled out his watch and gave it him
+back, and his two rings, and his ten guineas; but he would not
+take them, which made me very much suspect that he resolved
+to go off upon the road and leave me.
+
+The truth is, the circumstances he was in, the passionate
+expressions of his letter, the kind, gentlemanly treatment I had
+from him in all the affair, with the concern he showed for me
+in it, his manner of parting with that large share which he gave
+me of his little stock left--all these had joined to make such
+impressions on me, that I really loved him most tenderly, and
+could not bear the thoughts of parting with him.
+
+Two days after this we quitted Chester, I in the stage-coach,
+and he on horseback.  I dismissed my maid at Chester.  He
+was very much against my being without a maid, but she being
+a servant hired in the country, and I resolving to keep no
+servant at London, I told him it would have been barbarous
+to have taken the poor wench and have turned her away as
+soon as I came to town; and it would also have been a needless
+charge on the road, so I satisfied him, and he was easy enough
+on the score.
+
+He came with me as far as Dunstable, within thirty miles of
+London, and then he told me fate and his own misfortunes
+obliged him to leave me, and that it was not convenient for
+him to go to London, for reasons which it was of no value to
+me to know, and I saw him preparing to go.  The stage-coach
+we were in did not usually stop at Dunstable, but I desiring it
+but for a quart of an hour, they were content to stand at an
+inndoor a while, and we went into the house.
+
+Being in the inn, I told him I had but one favour more to ask
+of him, and that was, that since he could not go any farther,
+he would give me leave to stay a week or two in the town with
+him, that we might in that time think of something to prevent
+such a ruinous thing to us both, as a final separation would be;
+and that I had something of moment to offer him, that I had
+never said yet, and which perhaps he might find practicable to
+our mutual advantage.
+
+This was too reasonable a proposal to be denied, so he called
+the landlady of the house, and told her his wife was taken ill,
+and so ill that she could not think of going any farther in the
+stage-coach, which had tired her almost to death, and asked
+if she could not get us a lodging for two or three days in a
+private house, where I might rest me a little, for the journey
+had been too much for me.  The landlady, a good sort of
+woman, well-bred and very obliging, came immediately to
+see me; told me she had two or three very good rooms in a
+part of the house quite out of the noise, and if I saw them,
+she did not doubt but I would like them, and I should have
+one of her maids, that should do nothing else but be appointed
+to wait on me.  This was so very kind, that I could not but
+accept of it, and thank her; so I went to look on the rooms and
+liked them very well, and indeed they were extraordinarily
+furnished, and very pleasant lodgings; so we paid the stage-coach,
+took out our baggage, and resolved to stay here a while.
+
+Here I told him I would live with him now till all my money
+was spent, but would not let him spend a shilling of his own.
+We had some kind squabble about that, but I told him it was
+the last time I was like to enjoy his company, and I desired he
+would let me be master in that thing only, and he should govern
+in everything else; so he acquiesced.
+
+Here one evening, taking a walk into the fields, I told him I
+would now make the proposal to him I had told him of;
+accordingly I related to him how I had lived in Virginia, that
+I had a mother I believed was alive there still, though my
+husband was dead some years.  I told him that had not my
+effects miscarried, which, by the way, I magnified pretty much,
+I might have been fortune good enough to him to have kept
+us from being parted in this manner.  Then I entered into the
+manner of peoples going over to those countries to settle,
+how they had a quantity of land given them by the Constitution
+of the place; and if not, that it might be purchased at so easy a
+rate this it was not worth naming.
+
+I then gave him a full and distinct account of the nature of
+planting; how with carrying over but two or three hundred
+pounds value in English goods, with some servants and tools,
+a man of application would presently lay a foundation for a
+family, and in a very few years be certain to raise an estate.
+
+I let him into the nature of the product of the earth; how the
+ground was cured and prepared, and what the usual increase
+of it was; and demonstrated to him, that in a very few years,
+with such a beginning, we should be as certain of being rich
+as we were now certain of being poor.
+
+He was surprised at my discourse; for we made it the whole
+subject of our conversation for near a week together, in which
+time I laid it down in black and white, as we say, that it was
+morally impossible, with a supposition of any reasonable good
+conduct, but that we must thrive there and do very well.
+
+Then I told him what measures I would take to raise such a
+sum of #300 or thereabouts; and I argued with him how good
+a method it would be to put an end to our misfortunes and
+restore our circumstances in the world, to what we had both
+expected; and I added, that after seven years, if we lived, we
+might be in a posture to leave our plantations in good hands,
+and come over again and receive the income of it, and live
+here and enjoy it; and I gave him examples of some that had
+done so, and lived now in very good circumstances in London.
+
+In short, I pressed him so to it, that he almost agreed to it, but
+still something or other broke it off again; till at last he turned
+the tables, and he began to talk almost to the same purpose of
+Ireland.
+
+He told me that a man that could confine himself to country
+life, and that could find but stock to enter upon any land,
+should have farms there for #50 a year, as good as were here
+let for #200 a year; that the produce was such, and so rich the
+land, that if much was not laid up, we were sure to live as
+handsomely upon it as a gentleman of #3000 a year could do
+in England and that he had laid a scheme to leave me in London,
+and go over and try; and if he found he could lay a handsome
+foundation of living suitable to the respect he had for me, as
+he doubted not he should do, he would come over and fetch me.
+
+I was dreadfully afraid that upon such a proposal he would
+have taken me at my word, viz. to sell my little income as I
+called it, and turn it into money, and let him carry it over into
+Ireland and try his experiment with it; but he was too just to
+desire it, or to have accepted it if I had offered it; and he
+anticipated me in that, for he added, that he would go and try
+his fortune that way, and if he found he could do anything at
+it to live, then, by adding mine to it when I went over, we
+should live like ourselves; but that he would not hazard a
+shilling of mine till he had made the experiment with a little,
+and he assured me that if he found nothing to be done in Ireland,
+he would then come to me and join in my project for Virginia.
+
+He was so earnest upon his project being to be tried first, that
+I could not withstand him; however, he promised to let me
+hear from him in a very little time after his arriving there, to
+let me know whether his prospect answered his design, that
+if there was not a possibility of success, I might take the
+occasion to prepare for our other voyage, and then, he assured
+me, he would go with me to America with all his heart.
+
+I could bring him to nothing further than this.  However, those
+consultations entertained us near a month, during which I
+enjoyed his company, which indeed was the most entertaining
+that ever I met in my life before.  In this time he let me into
+the whole story of his own life, which was indeed surprising,
+and full of an infinite variety sufficient to fill up a much brighter
+history, for its adventures and incidents, than any I ever say in
+print; but I shall have occasion to say more of him hereafter.
+
+We parted at last, though with the utmost reluctance on my
+side; and indeed he took his leave very unwillingly too, but
+necessity obliged him, for his reasons were very good why he
+would not come to London, as I understood more fully some
+time afterwards.
+
+I gave him a direction how to write to me, though still I
+reserved the grand secret, and never broke my resolution,
+which was not to let him ever know my true name, who I was,
+or where to be found; he likewise let me know how to write a
+letter to him, so that, he said, he would be sure to receive it.
+
+I came to London the next day after we parted, but did not go
+directly to my old lodgings; but for another nameless reason
+took a private lodging in St. John's Street, or, as it is vulgarly
+called, St. Jones's, near Clerkenwell; and here, being perfectly
+alone, I had leisure to sit down and reflect seriously upon the
+last seven months' ramble I had made, for I had been abroad
+no less.  The pleasant hours I had with my last husband I looked
+back on with an infinite deal of pleasure; but that pleasure was
+very much lessened when I found some time after that I was
+really with child.
+
+This was a perplexing thing, because of the difficulty which
+was before me where I should get leave to lie in; it being one of
+the nicest things in the world at that time of day for a woman
+that was a stranger, and had no friends, to be entertained in
+that circumstance without security, which, by the way, I had
+not, neither could I procure any.
+
+I had taken care all this while to preserve a correspondence
+with my honest friend at the bank, or rather he took care to
+correspond with me, for he wrote to me once a week; and
+though I had not spent my money so fast as to want any from
+him, yet I often wrote also to let him know I was alive.  I had
+left directions in Lancashire, so that I had these letters, which
+he sent, conveyed to me; and during my recess at St. Jones's
+received a very obliging letter from him, assuring me that his
+process for a divorce from his wife went on with success,
+though he met with some difficulties in it that he did not expect.
+
+I was not displeased with the news that his process was more
+tedious than he expected; for though I was in no condition to
+have him yet, not being so foolish to marry him when I knew
+myself to be with child by another man, as some I know have
+ventured to do, yet I was not willing to lose him, and, in a
+word, resolved to have him if he continued in the same mind,
+as soon as I was up again; for I saw apparently I should hear
+no more from my husband; and as he had all along pressed to
+marry, and had assured me he would not be at all disgusted at
+it, or ever offer to claim me again, so I made no scruple to
+resolve to do it if I could, and if my other friend stood to his
+bargain; and I had a great deal of reason to be assured that he
+would stand to it, by the letters he wrote to me, which were
+the kindest and most obliging that could be.
+
+I now grew big, and the people where I lodged perceived it,
+and began to take notice of it to me, and, as far as civility
+would allow, intimated that I must think of removing.  This
+put me to extreme perplexity, and I grew very melancholy, for
+indeed I knew not what course to take.  I had money, but no
+friends, and was like to have a child upon my hands to keep,
+which was a difficulty I had never had upon me yet, as the
+particulars of my story hitherto make appear.
+
+In the course of this affair I fell very ill, and my melancholy
+really increased my distemper; my illness proved at length to
+be only an ague, but my apprehensions were really that I should
+miscarry.  I should not say apprehensions, for indeed I would
+have been glad to miscarry, but I could never be brought to
+entertain so much as a thought of endeavouring to miscarry,
+or of taking any thing to make me miscarry; I abhorred, I say,
+so much as the thought of it.
+
+However, speaking of it in the house, the gentlewoman who
+kept the house proposed to me to send for a midwife.  I
+scrupled it at first, but after some time consented to it, but
+told her I had no particular acquaintance with any midwife,
+and so left it to her.
+
+It seems the mistress of the house was not so great a stranger
+to such cases as mine was as I thought at first she had been,
+as will appear presently, and she sent for a midwife of the
+right sort--that is to say, the right sort for me.
+
+The woman appeared to be an experienced woman in her
+business, I mean as a midwife; but she had another calling too,
+in which she was as expert as most women if not more.  My
+landlady had told her I was very melancholy, and that she
+believed that had done me harm; and once, before me, said to
+her, 'Mrs. B----' (meaning the midwife), 'I believe this lady's
+trouble is of a kind that is pretty much in your way, and
+therefore if you can do anything for her, pray do, for she is a
+very civil gentlewoman'; and so she went out of the room.
+
+I really did not understand her, but my Mother Midnight began
+very seriously to explain what she mean, as soon as she was
+gone.  'Madam,' says she, 'you seem not to understand what
+your landlady means; and when you do understand it, you need
+not let her know at all that you do so.
+
+'She means that you are under some circumstances that may
+render your lying in difficult to you, and that you are not willing
+to be exposed.  I need say no more, but to tell you, that if you
+think fit to communicate so much of your case to me, if it be so,
+as is necessary, for I do not desire to pry into those things, I
+perhaps may be in a position to help you and to make you
+perfectly easy, and remove all your dull thoughts upon that
+subject.'
+
+Every word this creature said was a cordial to me, and put
+new life and new spirit into my heart; my blood began to
+circulate immediately, and I was quite another body; I ate my
+victuals again, and grew better presently after it.  She said a
+great deal more to the same purpose, and then, having pressed
+me to be free with her, and promised in the solemnest manner
+to be secret, she stopped a little, as if waiting to see what
+impression it made on me, and what I would say.
+
+I was too sensible to the want I was in of such a woman, not
+to accept her offer; I told her my case was partly as she
+guessed, and partly not, for I was really married, and had a
+husband, though he was in such fine circumstances and so
+remote at that time, as that he could not appear publicly.
+
+She took me short, and told me that was none of her business;
+all the ladies that came under her care were married women
+to her.  'Every woman,' she says, 'that is with child has a father
+for it,' and whether that father was a husband or no husband,
+was no business of hers; her business was to assist me in my
+present circumstances, whether I had a husband or no.  'For,
+madam,' says she, 'to have a husband that cannot appear, is
+to have no husband in the sense of the case; and, therefore,
+whether you are a wife or a mistress is all one to me.'
+
+I found presently, that whether I was a whore or a wife, I was
+to pass for a whore here, so I let that go.  I told her it was
+true, as she said, but that, however, if I must tell her my case,
+I must tell it her as it was; so I related it to her as short as I
+could, and I concluded it to her thus.  'I trouble you with all
+this, madam,' said I, 'not that, as you said before, it is much
+to the purpose in your affair, but this is to the purpose, namely,
+that I am not in any pain about being seen, or being public or
+concealed, for 'tis perfectly indifferent to me; but my difficulty
+is, that I have no acquaintance in this part of the nation.'
+
+'I understand you, madam' says she; 'you have no security to
+bring to prevent the parish impertinences usual in such cases,
+and perhaps,' says she, 'do not know very well how to dispose
+of the child when it comes.'  'The last,' says I, 'is not so much
+my concern as the first.'  'Well, madam,' answered the midwife,
+'dare you put yourself into my hands?  I live in such a place;
+though I do not inquire after you, you may inquire after me.
+My name is B----; I live in such a street'--naming the street--
+'at the sign of the Cradle.  My profession is a midwife, and I
+have many ladies that come to my house to lie in.  I have given
+security to the parish in general terms to secure them from any
+charge from whatsoever shall come into the world under my
+roof.  I have but one question to ask in the whole affair, madam,'
+says she, 'and if that be answered you shall be entirely easy for
+all the rest.'
+
+I presently understood what she meant, and told her, 'Madam,
+I believe I understand you.  I thank God, though I want friends
+in this part of the world, I do not want money, so far as may
+be necessary, though I do not abound in that neither':  this I
+added because I would not make her expect great things.
+'Well, madam,' says she, 'that is the thing indeed, without
+which nothing can be done in these cases; and yet,' says she,
+'you shall see that I will not impose upon you, or offer anything
+that is unkind to you, and if you desire it, you shall know
+everything beforehand, that you may suit yourself to the
+occasion, and be neither costly or sparing as you see fit.'
+
+I told her she seemed to be so perfectly sensible of my condition,
+that I had nothing to ask of her but this, that as I had told her
+that I had money sufficient, but not a great quantity, she would
+order it so that I might be at as little superfluous charge as
+possible.
+
+She replied that she would bring in an account of the expenses
+of it in two or three shapes, and like a bill of fare, I should
+choose as I pleased; and I desired her to do so.
+
+The next day she brought it, and the copy of her three bills
+was a follows:--
+
+
+1.  For three months' lodging in her house, including
+    my diet, at 10s. a week . . . . . . . . . . . 6#,  0s., 0d.
+
+2.  For a nurse for the month, and use of childbed
+    linen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1#, 10s., 0d.
+
+3.  For a minister to christen the child, and to the
+    godfathers and clerk  . . . . . . . . . . . . 1#, 10s., 0d.
+
+4.  For a supper at the christening if I had five friends
+    at it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1#,  0s., 0d.
+
+    For her fees as a midwife, and the taking off the
+    trouble of the parish . . . . . . . . . . . . 3#,  3s., 0d.
+
+    To her maid servant attending . . . . . . . . 0#, 10s., 0d.
+                                                ________________
+                                                 13#, 13s., 0d.
+
+
+This was the first bill; the second was the same terms:--
+
+1.  For three months' lodging and diet, etc., at 20s.
+    per week . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13#,  0s., 0d.
+
+2.  For a nurse for the month, and the use of linen
+    and lace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  2#, 10s., 0d.
+
+3.  For the minister to christen the child, etc., as
+    above . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2#,  0s., 0d.
+
+4.  For supper and for sweetmeats
+    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3#,  3s., 0d.
+
+    For her fees as above . . . . . . . . . . . . 5#,  5s., 0d.
+
+    For a servant-maid  . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1#,  0s., 0d.
+                                               _______________
+                                                 26#, 18s., 0d.
+
+
+This was the second-rate bill; the third, she said, was for
+a degree higher, and when the father or friends appeared:--
+
+1.  For three months' lodging and diet, having two
+    rooms and a garret for a servant . . . . . . 30#,  0s., 0d.,
+
+2.  For a nurse for the month, and the finest suit
+    of childbed linen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4#,  4s., 0d.
+
+3.  For the minister to christen the child, etc.  2#, 10s., 0d.
+
+4.  For a supper, the gentlemen to send in the
+    wine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  6#,  0s., 0d.
+
+    For my fees, etc. . . . . . . . . . . . . .  10#, 10s., 0d.
+
+    The maid, besides their own maid, only
+    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0#, 10s., 0d.
+                                               _________________
+                                                 53#, 14s., 0d.
+
+
+I looked upon all three bills, and smiled, and told her I did not
+see but that she was very reasonable in her demands, all things
+considered, and for that I did not doubt but her accommodations
+were good.
+
+She told me I should be judge of that when I saw them.  I told
+her I was sorry to tell her that I feared I must be her lowest-
+rated customer.  'And perhaps, madam,' said I, 'you will make
+me the less welcome upon that account.'  'No, not at all,' said
+she; 'for where I have one of the third sort I have two of the
+second, and four to one of the first, and I get as much by them
+in proportion as by any; but if you doubt my care of you, I will
+allow any friend you have to overlook and see if you are well
+waited on or no.'
+
+Then she explained the particulars of her bill.  'In the first place,
+madam,' said she, 'I would have you observe that here is three
+months' keeping; you are but ten shillings a week; I undertake
+to say you will not complain of my table.  I suppose,' says she,
+'you do not live cheaper where you are now?'  'No, indeed,'
+said I, 'not so cheap, for I give six shillings per week for my
+chamber, and find my own diet as well as I can, which costs
+me a great deal more.'
+
+'Then, madam,' says she, 'if the child should not live, or should
+be dead-born, as you know sometimes happens, then there is
+the minister's article saved; and if you have no friends to come
+to you, you may save the expense of a supper; so that take those
+articles out, madam,' says she, 'your lying in will not cost you
+above #5, 3s. in all more than your ordinary charge of  living.'
+
+This was the most reasonable thing that I ever heard of; so I
+smiled, and told her I would come and be her customer; but I
+told her also, that as I had two months and more to do, I might
+perhaps be obliged to stay longer with her than three months,
+and desired to know if she would not be obliged to remove me
+before it was proper.  No, she said; her house was large, and
+besides, she never put anybody to remove, that had lain in, till
+they were willing to go; and if she had more ladies offered, she
+was not so ill-beloved among her neighbours but she could
+provide accommodations for twenty, if there was occasion.
+
+I found she was an eminent lady in her way; and, in short, I
+agreed to put myself into her hands, and promised her.  She
+then talked of other things, looked about into my accommodations
+where I was, found fault with my wanting attendance and
+conveniences, and that I should not be used so at her house.
+I told her I was shy of speaking, for the woman of the house
+looked stranger, or at least I thought so, since I had been ill,
+because I was with child; and I was afraid she would put some
+affront or other upon me, supposing that I had been able to
+give but a slight account of myself.
+
+'Oh dear,' said she, 'her ladyship is no stranger to these things;
+she has tried to entertain ladies in your condition several times,
+but she could not secure the parish; and besides, she is not such a
+nice lady as you take her to be; however, since you are a-going,
+you shall not meddle with her, but I'll see you are a little better
+looked after while you are here than I think you are, and it shall
+not cost you the more neither.'
+
+I did not understand her at all; however, I thanked her, and  so
+we parted.  The next morning she sent me a chicken roasted
+and hot, and a pint bottle of sherry, and ordered the maid to
+tell me that she was to wait on me every day as long as I stayed
+there.
+
+This was surprisingly good and kind, and I accepted it very
+willingly.  At night she sent to me again, to know if I wanted
+anything, and how I did, and to order the maid to come to her
+in the morning with my dinner.  The maid  had orders to make
+me some chocolate in the morning before she came away, and
+did so, and at noon she brought me the sweetbread of a breast
+of veal, whole, and a dish of soup for my dinner; and after this
+manner she nursed me up at a distance, so that I was mightily
+well pleased, and quickly well, for indeed my dejections before
+were the principal part of my illness.
+
+I expected, as is usually the case among such people, that the
+servant she sent me would have been some imprudent brazen
+wench of Drury Lane breeding, and I was very uneasy at having
+her with me upon that account; so I would not let her lie in
+that house the first night by any means, but had my eyes about
+me as narrowly as if she had been a public thief.
+
+My gentlewoman guessed presently what was the matter, and
+sent her back with a short note, that I might depend upon the
+honesty of her maid; that she would be answerable for her upon
+all accounts; and that she took no servants into her house
+without very good security for their fidelity.  I was then perfectly
+easy; and indeed the maid's behaviour spoke for itself, for a
+modester, quieter, soberer girl never came into anybody's family,
+and I found her so afterwards.
+
+As soon as I was well enough to go abroad, I went with the
+maid to see the house, and to see the apartment I was to have;
+and everything was so handsome and so clean and well, that,
+in short, I had nothing to say, but was wonderfully pleased
+and satisfied with what I had met with, which, considering
+the melancholy circumstances I was in, was far beyond what
+I looked for.
+
+It might be expected that I should give some account of the
+nature of the wicked practices of this woman, in whose hands
+I was now fallen; but it would be too much encouragement to
+the vice, to let the world see what easy measures were here
+taken to rid the women's unwelcome burthen of a child
+clandestinely gotten.  This grave matron had several sorts of
+practice, and this was one particular, that if a child was born,
+though not in her house (for she had occasion to be called to
+many private labours), she had people at hand, who for a piece
+of money would take the child off their hands, and off from
+the hands of the parish too; and those children, as she said,
+were honestly provided for and taken care of.  What should
+become of them all, considering so many, as by her account
+she was concerned with, I cannot conceive.
+
+I had many times discourses upon that subject with her; but
+she was full of this argument, that she save the life of many an
+innocent lamb, as she called them, which would otherwise
+perhaps have been murdered; and of many women who, made
+desperate by the misfortune, would otherwise be tempted to
+destroy their children, and bring themselves to the gallows.  I
+granted her that this was true, and a very commendable thing,
+provided the poor children fell into good hands afterwards,
+and were not abused, starved, and neglected by the nurses
+that bred them up.  She answered, that she always took care
+of that, and had no nurses in her business but what were very
+good, honest people, and such as might be depended upon.
+
+I could say nothing to the contrary, and so was obliged to say,
+'Madam, I do not question you do your part honestly, but what
+those people do afterwards is the main question'; and she
+stopped my mouth again with saying that she took the utmost
+care about it.
+
+The only thing I found in all her conversation on these subjects
+that gave me any distaste, was, that one time in discouraging
+about my being far gone with child, and the time I expected
+to come, she said something that looked as if she could help
+me off with my burthen sooner, if I was willing; or, in English,
+that she could give me something to make me miscarry, if I
+had a desire to put an end to my troubles that way; but I soon
+let her see that I abhorred the thoughts of it; and, to do her
+justice, she put it off so cleverly, that I could not say she really
+intended it, or whether she only mentioned the practice as a
+horrible thing; for she couched her words so well, and took my
+meaning so quickly, that she gave her negative before I could
+explain myself.
+
+To bring this part into as narrow a compass as possible, I quitted
+my lodging at St. Jones's and went to my new governess, for
+so they called her in the house, and there I was indeed treated
+with so much courtesy, so carefully looked to, so handsomely
+provided, and everything so well, that I was surprised at it, and
+could not at first see what advantage my governess made of it;
+but I found afterwards that she professed to make no profit of
+lodgers' diet, nor indeed could she get much by it, but that
+her profit lay in the other articles of her management, and she
+made enough that way, I assure you; for 'tis scarce credible
+what practice she had, as well abroad as at home, and yet all
+upon the private account, or, in plain English, the whoring
+account.
+
+While I was in her house, which was near four months, she
+had no less than twelve ladies of pleasure brought to bed within
+the doors, and I think she had two-and-thirty, or thereabouts,
+under her conduct without doors, whereof one, as nice as she
+was with me, was lodged with my old landlady at St. Jones's.
+
+This was a strange testimony of the growing vice of the age,
+and such a one, that as bad as I had been myself, it shocked
+my very senses.  I began to nauseate the place I was in and,
+about all, the wicked practice; and yet I must say that I never
+saw, or do I believe there was to be seen, the least indecency
+in the house the whole time I was there.
+
+Not a man was ever seen to come upstairs, except to visit the
+lying-in ladies within their month, nor then without the old lady
+with them, who made it a piece of honour of her management
+that no man should touch a woman, no, not his own wife, within
+the month; nor would she permit any man to lie in the house
+upon any pretence whatever, no, not though she was sure it
+was with his own wife; and her general saying for it was, that
+she cared not how many children were born in her house, but
+she would have none got there if she could help it.
+
+It might perhaps be carried further than was needful, but it was
+an error of the right hand if it was an error, for by this she kept
+up the reputation, such as it was, of her business, and obtained
+this character, that though she did take care of the women when
+they were debauched, yet she was not instrumental to their being
+debauched at all; and yet it was a wicked trade she drove too.
+
+While I was there, and before I was brought to bed, I received
+a letter from my trustee at the bank, full of kind, obliging things,
+and earnestly pressing me to return to London.  It was near a
+fortnight old when it came to me, because it had been first sent
+into Lancashire, and then returned to me.  He concludes with
+telling me that he had obtained a decree, I think he called it,
+against his wife, and that he would be ready to make good his
+engagement to me, if I would accept of him, adding a great
+many protestations of kindness and affection, such as he would
+have been far from offering if he had known the circumstances
+I had been in, and which as it was I had been very far from
+deserving.
+
+I returned an answer to his letter, and dated it at Liverpool,
+but sent it by messenger, alleging that it came in cover to a
+friend in town.  I gave him joy of his deliverance, but raised
+some scruples at the lawfulness of his marrying again, and told
+him I supposed he would consider very seriously upon that
+point before he resolved on it, the consequence being too great
+for a man of his judgment to venture rashly upon a thing of that
+nature; so concluded, wishing him very well in whatever he
+resolved, without letting him into anything of my own mind,
+or giving any answer to his proposal of my coming to London
+to him, but mentioned at a distance my intention to return the
+latter end of the year, this being dated in April.
+
+I was brought to bed about the middle of May and had another
+brave boy, and myself in as good condition as usual on such
+occasions.  My governess did her part as a midwife with the
+greatest art and dexterity imaginable, and far beyond all that
+ever I had had any experience of before.
+
+Her care of me in my travail, and after in my lying in, was
+such, that if she had been my own mother it could not have
+been better.  Let none be encouraged in their loose practices
+from this dexterous lady's management, for she is gone to her
+place, and I dare say has left nothing behind her that can or
+will come up on it.
+
+I think I had been brought to bed about twenty-two days when
+I received another letter from my friend at the bank, with the
+surprising news that he had obtained a final sentence of divorce
+against his wife, and had served her with it on such a day, and
+that he had such an answer to give to all my scruples about his
+marrying again, as I could not expect, and as he had no desire
+of; for that his wife, who had been under some remorse before
+for her usage of him, as soon as she had the account that he
+had gained his point, had very unhappily destroyed herself that
+same evening.
+
+He expressed himself very handsomely as to his being concerned
+at her disaster, but cleared himself of having any hand in it,
+and that he had only done himself justice in a case in which he
+was notoriously injured and abused.  However, he said that
+he was extremely afflicted at it, and had no view of any
+satisfaction left in his world, but only in the hope that I would
+come and relieve him by my company; and then he pressed me
+violently indeed to give him some hopes that I would at least
+come up to town and let him see me, when he would further
+enter into discourse about it.
+
+I was exceedingly surprised at the news, and began now
+seriously to reflect on my present circumstances, and the
+inexpressible misfortune it was to me to have a child upon my
+hands, and what to do in it I knew not.  At last I opened my
+case at a distance to my governess.  I appeared melancholy
+and uneasy for several days, and she lay at me continually to
+know what trouble me.  I could not for my life tell her that I
+had an offer of marriage, after I had so often told her that I
+had a husband, so that I really knew not what to say to her.  I
+owned I had something which very much troubled me, but at
+the same time told her I could not speak of it to any one alive.
+
+She continued importuning me several days, but it was
+impossible, I told her, for me to commit the secret to anybody.
+This, instead of being an answer to her, increased her
+importunities; she urged her having been trusted with the
+greatest secrets of this nature, that it was her business to
+conceal everything, and that to discover things of that nature
+would be her ruin.  She asked me if ever I had found her tattling
+to me of other people's affairs, and how could I suspect her?
+She told me, to unfold myself to her was telling it to nobody;
+that she was silent as death; that it must be a very strange case
+indeed that she could not help me out of; but to conceal it was
+to deprive myself of all possible help, or means of help, and to
+deprive her of the opportunity of serving me.  In short, she had
+such a bewitching eloquence, and so great a power of persuasion
+that there was no concealing anything from her.
+
+So I resolved to unbosom myself to her.  I told her the history
+of my Lancashire marriage, and how both of us had been
+disappointed; how we came together, and how we parted; how
+he absolutely discharged me, as far as lay in him, free liberty to
+marry again, protesting that if he knew it he would never claim
+me, or disturb or expose me; that I thought I was free, but was
+dreadfully afraid to venture, for fear of the consequences that
+might follow in case of a discovery.
+
+Then I told her what a good offer I had; showed her my friend's
+two last letters, inviting me to come to London, and let her see
+with what affection and earnestness they were written, but
+blotted out the name, and also the story about the disaster of
+his wife, only that she was dead.
+
+She fell a-laughing at my scruples about marrying, and told
+me the other was no marriage, but a cheat on both sides; and
+that, as we were parted by mutual consent, the nature of the
+contract was destroyed, and the obligation was mutually
+discharged.  She had arguments for this at the tip of her tongue;
+and, in short, reasoned me out of my reason; not but that it
+was too by the help of my own inclination.
+
+But then came the great and main difficulty, and that was the
+child; this, she told me in so many words, must be removed,
+and that so as that it should never be possible for any one to
+discover it.  I knew there was no marrying without entirely
+concealing that I had had a child, for he would soon have
+discovered by the age of it that it was born, nay, and gotten
+too, since my parley with him, and that would have destroyed
+all the affair.
+
+But it touched my heart so forcibly to think of parting entirely
+with the child, and, for aught I knew, of having it murdered,
+or starved by neglect and ill-usage (which was much the same),
+that I could not think of it without horror.  I wish all those
+women who consent to the disposing their children out of the
+way, as it is called, for decency sake, would consider that 'tis
+only a contrived method for murder; that is to say, a-killing
+their children with safety.
+
+It is manifest to all that understand anything of children, that
+we are born into the world helpless, and incapable either to
+supply our own wants or so much as make them known; and
+that without help we must perish; and this help requires not
+only an assisting hand, whether of the mother or somebody
+else, but there are two things necessary in that assisting  hand,
+that is, care and skill; without both which, half the children
+that are born would die, nay, though they were not to be
+denied food; and one half more of those that remained would
+be cripples or fools, lose their limbs, and perhaps their sense.
+I question not but that these are partly the reasons why affection
+was placed by nature in the hearts of mothers to their children;
+without which they would never be able to give themselves up,
+as 'tis necessary they should, to the care and waking pains
+needful to the support of their children.
+
+Since this care is needful to the life of children, to neglect them
+is to murder them; again, to give them up to be managed by
+those people who have none of that needful affection placed
+by nature in them, is to neglect them in the highest degree; nay,
+in some it goes farther, and is a neglect in order to their being
+lost; so that 'tis even an intentional murder, whether the child
+lives or dies.
+
+All those things represented themselves to my view, and that
+is the blackest and most frightful form:  and as I was very free
+with my governess, whom I had now learned to call mother,
+I represented to her all the dark thoughts which I had upon
+me about it, and told her what distress I was in.  She seemed
+graver by much at this part than at the other; but as she was
+hardened in these things beyond all possibility of being touched
+with the religious part, and the scruples about the murder, so
+she was equally impenetrable in that part which related to
+affection.  She asked me if she had not been careful and tender
+to me in my lying in, as if I had been her own child.  I told her
+I owned she had.  'Well, my dear,' says she, 'and when you
+are gone, what are you to me?  And what would it be to me
+if you were to be hanged?  Do you think there are not women
+who, as it is their trade and they get their bread by it, value
+themselves upon their being as careful of children as their own
+mothers can be, and understand it rather better?  Yes, yes,
+child,' says she, 'fear it not; how were we nursed ourselves?
+Are you sure you was nursed up by your own mother? and
+yet you look fat and fair, child,' says the old beldam; and with
+that she stroked me over the face.  'Never be concerned, child,'
+says she, going on in her drolling way; 'I have no murderers
+about me; I employ the best and the honestest nurses that can
+be had, and have as few children miscarry under their hands
+as there would if they were all nursed by mothers; we want
+neither care nor skill.'
+
+She touched me to the quick when she asked if I was sure
+that I was nursed by my own mother; on the contrary I was
+sure I was not; and I trembled, and looked pale at the very
+expression.  'Sure,' said I to myself, 'this creature cannot be
+a witch, or have any conversation with a spirit, that can inform
+her what was done with me before I was able to know it myself';
+and I looked at her as if I had been frightened; but reflecting
+that it could not be possible for her to know anything about
+me, that disorder went off, and I began to be easy, but it was
+not presently.
+
+She perceived the disorder I was in, but did not know the
+meaning of it; so she ran on in her wild talk upon the weakness
+of my supposing that children were murdered because they
+were not all nursed by the mother, and to persuade me that
+the children she disposed of were as well used as if the mothers
+had the nursing of them themselves.
+
+'It may be true, mother,' says I, 'for aught I know, but my
+doubts are very strongly grounded indeed.'  'Come, then,' says
+she, 'let's hear some of them.'  'Why, first,' says I, 'you give
+a piece of money to these people to take the child off the
+parent's hands, and to take care of it as long as it lives.  Now
+we know, mother,' said I, 'that those are poor people, and
+their gain consists in being quit of the charge as soon as they
+can; how can I doubt but that, as it is best for them to have
+the child die, they are not over solicitous about life?'
+
+'This is all vapours and fancy,' says the old woman; 'I tell you
+their credit depends upon the child's life, and they are as careful
+as any mother of you all.'
+
+'O mother,' says I, 'if I was but sure my little baby would be
+carefully looked to, and have justice done it, I should be happy
+indeed; but it is impossible I can be satisfied in that point
+unless I saw it, and to see it would be ruin and destruction to
+me, as now my case stands; so what to do I know not.'
+
+'A fine story!' says the governess.  'You would see the child,
+and you would not see the child; you would be concealed and
+discovered both together.  These are things impossible, my
+dear; so you must e'en do as other conscientious mothers have
+done before you, and be contented with things as they must be,
+though they are not as you wish them to be.'
+
+I understood what she meant by conscientious mothers; she
+would have said conscientious whores, but she was not willing
+to disoblige me, for really in this case I was not a whore,
+because legally married, the force of former marriage excepted.
+
+However, let me be what I would, I was not come up to that
+pitch of hardness common to the profession; I mean, to be
+unnatural, and regardless of the safety of my child; and I
+preserved this honest affection so long, that I was upon the
+point of giving up my friend at the bank, who lay so hard at
+me to come to him and marry him, that, in short, there was
+hardly any room to deny him.
+
+At last my old governess came to me, with her usual assurance.
+'Come, my dear,' says she, 'I have found out a way how you
+shall be at a certainty that your child shall be used well, and
+yet the people that take care of it shall never know you, or
+who the mother of the child is.'
+
+'Oh mother,' says I, 'if you can do so, you will engage me to
+you for ever.'  'Well,' says she, 'are you willing to be a some
+small annual expense, more than what we usually give to the
+people we contract with?'  'Ay,' says I, 'with all my heart,
+provided I may be concealed.'  'As to that,' says the governess,
+'you shall be secure, for the nurse shall never so much as dare
+to inquire about you, and you shall once or twice a year go
+with me and see your child, and see how 'tis used, and be
+satisfied that it is in good hands, nobody knowing who you are.'
+
+'Why,' said I, 'do you think, mother, that when I come to see
+my child, I shall be able to conceal my being the mother of it?
+Do you think that possible?'
+
+'Well, well,' says my governess, 'if you discover it, the nurse
+shall be never the wiser; for she shall be forbid to ask any
+questions about you, or to take any notice.  If she offers it,
+she shall lose the money which you are suppose to give her,
+and the child shall be taken from her too.'
+
+I was very well pleased with this.  So the next week a
+countrywoman was brought from Hertford, or thereabouts,
+who was to take the child off our hands entirely for #10 in
+money.  But if I would allow #5 a year more of her, she would
+be obliged to bring the child to my governess's house as often
+as we desired, or we should come down and look at it, and see
+how well she used it.
+
+The woman was very wholesome-looking, a likely woman,
+a cottager's wife, but she had very good clothes and linen, and
+everything well about her; and with a heavy heart and many a
+tear, I let her have my child.  I had been down at Hertford, and
+looked at her and at her dwelling, which I liked well enough;
+and I promised her great things if she would be kind to the
+child, so she knew at first word that I was the child's mother.
+But she seemed to be so much out of the way, and to have no
+room to inquire after me, that I thought I was safe enough.
+So, in short, I consented to let her have the child, and I gave
+her #10; that is to say, I gave it to my governess, who gave it
+the poor woman before my face, she agreeing never to return
+the child back to me, or to claim anything more for its keeping
+or bringing up; only that I promised, if she took a great deal
+of care of it, I would give her something more as often as I
+came to see it; so that I was not bound to pay the #5, only
+that I promised my governess I would do it.  And thus my
+great care was over, after a manner, which though it did not
+at all satisfy my mind, yet was the most convenient for me,
+as my affairs then stood, of any that could be thought of at
+that time.
+
+I then began to write to my friend at the bank in a more kindly
+style, and particularly about the beginning of July I sent him a
+letter, that I proposed to be in town some time in August.  He
+returned me an answer in the most passionate terms imaginable,
+and desired me to let him have timely notice, and he would
+come and meet me, two day's journey.  This puzzled me scurvily,
+and I did not know what answer to make of it.  Once I resolved
+to take the stage-coach to West Chester, on purpose only to
+have the satisfaction of coming back, that he might see me
+really come in the same coach; for I had a jealous thought,
+though I had no ground for it at all, lest he should think I was
+not really in the country.  And it was no ill-grounded thought
+as you shall hear presently.
+
+I endeavoured to reason myself out of it, but it was in vain;
+the impression lay so strong on my mind, that it was not to
+be resisted.  At last it came as an addition to my new design
+of going into the country, that it would be an excellent blind
+to my old governess, and would cover entirely all my other
+affairs, for she did not know in the least whether my new lover
+lived in London or in Lancashire; and when I told her my
+resolution, she was fully persuaded it was in Lancashire.
+
+Having taken my measure for this journey I let her know it,
+and sent the maid that tended me, from the beginning, to take
+a place for me in the coach.  She would have had me let the
+maid have waited on me down to the last stage, and come up
+again in the waggon, but I convinced her it would not be
+convenient.  When I went away, she told me she would enter
+into no measures for correspondence, for she saw evidently
+that my affection to my child would cause me to write to her,
+and to visit her too when I came to town again.  I assured her
+it would, and so took my leave, well satisfied to have been
+freed from such a house, however good my accommodations
+there had been, as I have related above.
+
+I took the place in the coach not to its full extent, but to a
+place called Stone, in Cheshire, I think it is, where I not only
+had no manner of business, but not so much as the least
+acquaintance with any person in the town or near it.  But I
+knew that with money in the pocket one is at home anywhere;
+so I lodged there two or three days, till, watching my opportunity,
+I found room in another stage-coach, and took passage back
+again for London, sending a letter to my gentleman that I should
+be such a certain day at Stony-Stratford, where the coachman
+told me he was to lodge.
+
+It happened to be a chance coach that I had taken up, which,
+having been hired on purpose to carry some gentlemen to West
+Chester who were going for Ireland, was now returning, and
+did not tie itself to exact times or places as the stages did; so
+that, having been obliged to lie still on Sunday, he had time to
+get himself ready to come out, which otherwise he could not
+have done.
+
+However, his warning was so short, that he could not reach
+to Stony-Stratford time enough to be with me at night, but he
+met me at a place called Brickhill the next morning, as we
+were just coming in to tow.
+
+I confess I was very glad to see him, for I had thought myself
+a little disappointed over-night, seeing I had gone so far to
+contrive my coming on purpose.  He pleased me doubly too
+by the figure he came in, for he brought a very handsome
+(gentleman's) coach and four horses, with a servant to attend
+him.
+
+He took me out of the stage-coach immediately, which stopped
+at an inn in Brickhill; and putting into the same inn, he set up
+his own coach, and bespoke his dinner.  I asked him what he
+meant by that, for I was for going forward with the journey.
+He said, No, I had need of a little rest upon the road, and that
+was a very good sort of a house, though it was but a little town;
+so we would go no farther that night, whatever came of it.
+
+I did not press him much, for since he had come so to meet
+me, and put himself to so much expense, it was but reasonable
+I should oblige him a little too; so I was easy as to that point.
+
+After dinner we walked to see the town, to see the church,
+and to view the fields, and the country, as is usual for strangers
+to do; and our landlord was our guide in going to see the
+church. I observed my gentleman inquired pretty much about
+the parson, and I took the hint immediately that he certainly
+would propose to be married; and though it was a sudden
+thought, it followed presently, that, in short, I would not refuse
+him; for, to be plain, with my circumstances I was in no
+condition now to say No; I had no reason now to run any more
+such hazards.
+
+But while these thoughts ran round in my head, which was the
+work but of a few moments, I observed my landlord took him
+aside and whispered to him, though not very softly neither, for
+so much I overheard:  'Sir, if you shall have occasion----' the
+rest I could not hear, but it seems it was to this purpose:  'Sir,
+if you shall have occasion for a minister, I have a friend a little
+way off that will serve you, and be as private as you please.'
+My gentleman answered loud enough for me to hear, 'Very
+well, I believe I shall.'
+
+I was no sooner come back to the inn but he fell upon me with
+irresistible words, that since he had had the good fortune to
+meet me, and everything concurred, it would be hastening his
+felicity if I would put an end to the matter just there.  'What
+do you mean?' says I, colouring a little.  'What, in an inn, and
+upon the road!  Bless us all,' said I, as if I had been surprised,
+'how can you talk so?'  'Oh, I can talk so very well,' says he,
+'I came a-purpose to talk so, and I'll show you that I did'; and
+with that he pulls out a great bundle of papers.  'You fright me,'
+said I; 'what are all these?'  'Don't be frighted, my dear,' said
+he, and kissed me.  This was the first time that he had been so
+free to call me 'my dear'; then he repeated it, 'Don't be frighted;
+you shall see what it is all'; then he laid them all abroad.  There
+was first the deed or sentence of divorce from his wife, and
+the full evidence of her playing the whore; then there were the
+certificates of the minister and churchwardens of the parish
+where she lived, proving that she was buried, and intimating
+the manner of her death; the copy of the coroner's warrant for
+a jury to sit upon her, and the verdict of the jury, who brought
+it in Non compos mentis.  All this was indeed to the purpose,
+and to give me satisfaction, though, by the way, I was not so
+scrupulous, had he known all, but that I might have taken him
+without it.  However, I looked them all over as well as I could,
+and told him that this was all very clear indeed, but that he
+need not have given himself the trouble to have brought them
+out with him, for it was time enough.  Well, he said, it might
+be time enough for me, but no time but the present time was
+time enough for him.
+
+There were other papers rolled up, and I asked him what they
+were.  'Why, ay,' says he, 'that's the question I wanted to have
+you ask me'; so he unrolls them and takes out a little shagreen
+case, and gives me out of it a very fine diamond ring.  I could
+not refuse it, if I had a mind to do so, for he put it upon my
+finger; so I made him a curtsy and accepted it.  Then he takes
+out another ring:  'And this,' says he, 'is for another occasion,'
+so he puts that in his pocket.  'Well, but let me see it, though,'
+says I, and smiled; 'I guess what it is; I think you are mad.'
+'I should have been mad if I had done less,' says he, and still
+he did not show me, and I had a great mind to see it; so I says,
+'Well, but let me see it.'  'Hold,' says he, 'first look here';
+then he took up the roll again and read it, and behold! it was
+a licence for us to be married.  'Why,' says I, 'are you distracted?
+Why, you were fully satisfied that I would comply and yield
+at first word, or resolved to take no denial.'  'The last is
+certainly the case,' said he.  'But you may be mistaken,' said I.
+'No, no,' says he, 'how can you think so?  I must not be denied,
+I can't be denied'; and with that he fell to kissing me so violently,
+I could not get rid of him.
+
+There was a bed in the room, and we were walking to and
+again, eager in the discourse; at last he takes me by surprise
+in his arms, and threw me on the bed and himself with me,
+and holding me fast in his arms, but without the least offer of
+any indecency, courted me to consent with such repeated
+entreaties and arguments, protesting his affection, and vowing
+he would not let me go till I had promised him, that at last I
+said, 'Why, you resolve not to be denied, indeed, I can't be
+denied.'  'Well, well,' said I, and giving him a slight kiss, 'then
+you shan't be denied,' said I; 'let me get up.'
+
+He was so transported with my consent, and the kind manner
+of it, that I began to think once he took it for a marriage, and
+would not stay for the form; but I wronged him, for he gave
+over kissing me, and then giving me two or three kisses again,
+thanked me for my kind yielding to him; and was so overcome
+with the satisfaction and joy of it, that I saw tears stand in his eyes.
+
+I turned from him, for it filled my eyes with tears too, and I
+asked him leave to retire a little to my chamber.  If ever I had
+a grain of true repentance for a vicious and abominable life
+for twenty-four years past, it was then.  On, what a felicity is
+it to mankind, said I to myself, that they cannot see into the
+hearts of one another!  How happy had it been for me if I had
+been wife to a man of so much honesty, and so much affection
+from the beginning!
+
+Then it occurred to me, 'What an abominable creature am I!
+and how is this innocent gentleman going to be abused by me!
+How little does he think, that having divorced a whore, he is
+throwing himself into the arms of another! that he is going to
+marry one that has lain with two brothers, and has had three
+children by her own brother! one that was born in Newgate,
+whose mother was a whore, and is now a transported thief!
+one that has lain with thirteen men, and has had a child since
+he saw me!  Poor gentleman!' said I, 'what is he going to do?'
+After this reproaching myself was over, it following thus:
+'Well, if I must be his wife, if it please God to give me grace,
+I'll be a true wife to him, and love him suitably to the strange
+excess of his passion for me; I will make him amends if possible,
+ by what he shall see, for the cheats and abuses I put upon him,
+which he does not see.'
+
+He was impatient for my coming out of my chamber, but
+finding me long, he went downstairs and talked with my
+landlord about the parson.
+
+My landlord, an officious though well-meaning fellow, had sent
+away for the neighbouring clergyman; and when my gentleman
+began to speak of it to him, and talk of sending for him, 'Sir,'
+says he to him, 'my friend is in the house'; so without any more
+words he brought them together.  When he came to the minister,
+he asked him if he would venture to marry a couple of strangers
+that were both willing.  The parson said that Mr. ---- had said
+something to him of it; that he hoped it was no clandestine
+business; that he seemed to be a grave gentleman, and he
+supposed madam was not a girl, so that the consent of friends
+should be wanted.  'To put you out of doubt of that,' says my
+gentleman, 'read this paper'; and out he pulls the license.  'I
+am satisfied,' says the minister; 'where is the lady?'  'You
+shall see her presently,' says my gentleman.
+
+When he had said thus he comes upstairs, and I was by that
+time come out of my room; so he tells me the minister was
+below, and that he had talked with him, and that upon showing
+him the license, he was free to marry us with all his heart, 'but
+he asks to see you'; so he asked if I would let him come up.
+
+''Tis time enough,' said I, 'in the morning, is it not?'  'Why,'
+said he, 'my dear, he seemed to scruple whether it was not
+some young girl stolen from her parents, and I assured him we
+were both of age to command our own consent; and that made
+him ask to see you.'  'Well,' said I, 'do as you please'; so up
+they brings the parson, and a merry, good sort of gentleman
+he was.  He had been told, it seems, that we had met there by
+accident, that I came in the Chester coach, and my gentleman
+in his own coach to meet me; that we were to have met last
+night at Stony-Stratford, but that he could not reach so far.
+'Well, sir,' says the parson, 'every ill turn has some good in it.
+The disappointment, sir,' says he to my gentleman, 'was yours,
+and the good turn is mine, for if you had met at Stony-Stratford
+I had not had the honour to marry you.  Landlord, have you a
+Common Prayer Book?'
+
+I started as if I had been frightened.  'Lord, sir,' says I, 'what
+do you mean?  What, to marry in an inn, and at night too?'
+'Madam,' says the minister, 'if you will have it be in the church,
+you shall; but I assure you your marriage will be as firm here
+as in the church; we are not tied by the canons to marry nowhere
+but in the church; and if you will have it in the church, it
+will be a public as a county fair; and as for the time of day, it
+does not at all weigh in this case; our princes are married in
+their chambers, and at eight or ten o'clock at night.'
+
+I was a great while before I could be persuaded, and pretended
+not to be willing at all to be married but in the church.  But
+it was all grimace; so I seemed at last to be prevailed on, and
+my landlord and his wife and daughter were called up.  My
+landlord was father and clerk and all together, and we were
+married, and very merry we were; though I confess the
+self-reproaches which I had upon me before lay close to me,
+and extorted every now and then a deep sigh from me, which
+my bridegroom took notice of, and endeavoured to encourage
+me, thinking, poor man, that I had some little hesitations at
+the step I had taken so hastily.
+
+We enjoyed ourselves that evening completely, and yet all was
+kept so private in the inn that not a servant in the house knew
+of it, for my landlady and her daughter waited on me, and
+would not let any of the maids come upstairs, except while we
+were at supper.  My landlady's daughter I called my bridesmaid;
+and sending for a shopkeeper the next morning, I gave the young
+woman a good suit of knots, as good as the town would afford,
+and finding it was a lace-making town, I gave her mother a
+piece of bone-lace for a head.
+
+One reason that my landlord was so close was, that he was
+unwilling the minister of the parish should hear of it; but for
+all that somebody heard of it, so at that we had the bells set
+a-ringing the next morning early, and the music, such as the
+town would afford, under our window; but my landlord
+brazened it out, that we were married before we came thither,
+only that, being his former guests, we would have our
+wedding-supper at his house.
+
+We could not find in our hearts to stir the next day; for, in
+short, having been disturbed by the bells in the morning, and
+having perhaps not slept overmuch before, we were so sleepy
+afterwards that we lay in bed till almost twelve o'clock.
+
+I begged my landlady that we might not have any more music
+in the town, nor ringing of bells, and she managed it so well
+that we were very quiet; but an odd passage interrupted all my
+mirth for a good while.  The great room of the house looked
+into the street, and my new spouse being belowstairs, I had
+walked to the end of the room; and it being a pleasant, warm
+day, I had opened the window, and was standing at it for some
+air, when I saw three gentlemen come by on horseback and go
+into an inn just against us.
+
+It was not to be concealed, nor was it so doubtful as to leave
+me any room to question it, but the second of the three was
+my Lancashire husband.  I was frightened to death; I never
+was in such a consternation in my life; I though I should have
+sunk into the ground; my blood ran chill in my veins, and I
+trembled as if I had been in a cold fit of ague.  I say, there
+was no room to question the truth of it; I knew his clothes, I
+knew his horse, and I knew his face.
+
+The first sensible reflect I made was, that my husband was
+not by to see my disorder, and that I was very glad of it.  The
+gentlemen had not been long in the house but they came to
+the window of their room, as is usual; but my window was
+shut, you may be sure.  However, I could not keep from
+peeping at them, and there I saw him again, heard him call out
+to one of the servants of the house for something he wanted,
+and received all the terrifying confirmations of its being the
+same person that were possible to be had.
+
+My next concern was to know, if possible, what was his business
+there; but that was impossible.  Sometimes my imagination
+formed an idea of one frightful thing, sometimes of another;
+sometime I thought he had discovered me, and was come to
+upbraid me with ingratitude and breach of honour; and every
+moment I fancied he was coming up the stairs to insult me; and
+innumerable fancies came into my head of what was never in
+his head, nor ever could be, unless the devil had revealed it to
+him.
+
+I remained in this fright nearly two hours, and scarce ever kept
+my eye from the window or door of the inn where they were.
+At last, hearing a great clatter in the passage of their inn, I ran
+to the window, and, to my great satisfaction, saw them all three
+go out again and travel on westward.  Had they gone towards
+London, I should have been still in a fright, lest I should meet
+him on the road again, and that he should know me; but he
+went the contrary way, and so I was eased of that disorder.
+
+We resolved to be going the next day, but about six o'clock
+at night we were alarmed with a great uproar in the street, and
+people riding as if they had been out of their wits; and what
+was it but a hue-and-cry after three highwaymen that had
+robbed two coaches and some other travellers near Dunstable
+Hill, and notice had, it seems, been given that they had been
+seen at Brickhill at such a house, meaning the house where
+those gentlemen had been.
+
+The house was immediately beset and searched, but there were
+witnesses enough that the gentlemen had been gone over three
+hours.  The crowd having gathered about, we had the news
+presently; and I was heartily concerned now another way.  I
+presently told the people of the house, that I durst to say those
+were not the persons, for that I knew one of the gentlemen to
+be a very honest person, and of a good estate in Lancashire.
+
+The constable who came with the hue-and-cry was immediately
+informed of this, and came over to me to be satisfied from my
+own mouth, and I assured him that I saw the three gentlemen
+as I was at the window; that I saw them afterwards at the
+windows of the room they dined in; that I saw them afterwards
+take horse, and I could assure him I knew one of them to be
+such a man, that he was a gentleman of a very good estate, and
+an undoubted character in Lancashire, from whence I was just
+now upon my journey.
+
+The assurance with which I delivered this gave the mob gentry
+a check, and gave the constable such satisfaction, that he
+immediately sounded a retreat, told his people these were not
+the men, but that he had an account they were very honest
+gentlemen; and so they went all back again.  What the truth of
+the matter was I knew not, but certain it was that the coaches
+were robbed at Dunstable Hill, and #560 in money taken;
+besides, some of the lace merchants that always travel that way
+had been visited too.  As to the three gentlemen, that remains
+to be explained hereafter.
+
+Well, this alarm stopped us another day, though my spouse
+was for travelling, and told me that it was always safest travelling
+after a robbery, for that the thieves were sure to be gone far
+enough off when they had alarmed the country; but I was afraid
+and uneasy, and indeed principally lest my old acquaintance
+should be upon the road still, and should chance to see me.
+
+I never lived four pleasanter days together in my life.  I was a
+mere bride all this while, and my new spouse strove to make
+me entirely easy in everything.  Oh could this state of life have
+continued, how had all my past troubles been forgot, and my
+future sorrows avoided!  But I had a past life of a most wretched
+kind to account for, some if it in this world as well as in another.
+
+We came away the fifth day; and my landlord, because he saw
+me uneasy, mounted himself, his son, and three honest country
+fellows with good firearms, and, without telling us of it,
+followed the coach, and would see us safe into Dunstable.  We
+could do no less than treat them very handsomely at Dunstable,
+which cost my spouse about ten or twelve shillings, and
+something he gave the men for their time too, but my landlord
+would take nothing for himself.
+
+This was the most happy contrivance for me that could have
+fallen out; for had I come to London unmarried, I must either
+have come to him for the first night's entertainment, or have
+discovered to him that I had not one acquaintance in the whole
+city of London that could receive a poor bride for the first
+night's lodging with her spouse.  But now, being an old married
+woman, I made no scruple of going directly home with him,
+and there I took possession at once of a house well furnished,
+and a husband in very good circumstances, so that I had a
+prospect of a very happy life, if I knew how to manage it; and
+I had leisure to consider of the real value of the life I was likely
+to live.  How different it was to be from the loose ungoverned
+part I had acted before, and how much happier a life of virtue
+and sobriety is, than that which we call a life of pleasure.
+
+Oh had this particular scene of life lasted, or had I learned
+from that time I enjoyed it, to have tasted the true sweetness
+of it, and had I not fallen into that poverty which is the sure
+bane of virtue, how happy had I been, not only here, but perhaps
+for ever!  for while I lived thus, I was really a penitent for all
+my life past.  I looked back on it with abhorrence, and might
+truly be said to hate myself for it.  I often reflected how my
+lover at the Bath, struck at the hand of God, repented and
+abandoned me, and refused to see me any more, though he
+loved me to an extreme; but I, prompted by that worst of
+devils, poverty, returned to the vile practice, and made the
+advantage of what they call a handsome face to be the relief
+to my necessities, and beauty be a pimp to vice.
+
+Now I seemed landed in a safe harbour, after the stormy voyage
+of life past was at an end, and I began to be thankful for my
+deliverance.  I sat many an hour by myself, and wept over the
+remembrance of past follies, and the dreadful extravagances
+of a wicked life, and sometimes I flattered myself that I had
+sincerely repented.
+
+But there are temptations which it is not in the power of human
+nature to resist, and few know what would be their case if
+driven to the same exigencies.  As covetousness is the root of
+all evil, so poverty is, I believe, the worst of all snares.  But I
+waive that discourse till I come to an experiment.
+
+I lived with this husband with the utmost tranquillity; he was a
+quiet, sensible, sober man; virtuous, modest, sincere, and in
+his business diligent and just.  His business was in a narrow
+compass, and his income sufficient to a plentiful way of living
+in the ordinary way.  I do not say to keep an equipage, and
+make a figure, as the world calls it, nor did I expect it, or desire
+it; for as I abhorred the levity and extravagance of my former
+life, so I chose now to live retired, frugal, and within ourselves.
+I kept no company, made no visits; minded my family, and
+obliged my husband; and this kind of life became a pleasure to me.
+
+We lived in an uninterrupted course of ease and content for
+five years, when a sudden blow from an almost invisible hand
+blasted all my happiness, and turned me out into the world in
+a condition the reverse of all that had been before it.
+
+My husband having trusted one of his fellow-clerks with a sum
+of money, too much for our fortunes to bear the loss of, the
+clerk failed, and the loss fell very heavy on my husband, yet it
+was not so great neither but that, if he had had spirit and courage
+to have looked his misfortunes in the face, his credit was so
+good that, as I told him, he would easily recover it; for to sink
+under trouble is to double the weight, and he that will die in it,
+shall die in it.
+
+It was in vain to speak comfortably to him; the wound had
+sunk too deep; it was a stab that touched the vitals; he grew
+melancholy and disconsolate, and from thence lethargic, and
+died.  I foresaw the blow, and was extremely oppressed in my
+mind, for I saw evidently that if he died I was undone.
+
+I had had two children by him and no more, for, to tell the
+truth, it began to be time for me to leave bearing children, for
+I was now eight-and-forty, and I suppose if he had lived I
+should have had no more.
+
+I was now left in a dismal and disconsolate case indeed, and
+in several things worse than ever.  First, it was past the
+flourishing time with me when I might expect to be courted
+for a mistress; that agreeable part had declined some time, and
+the ruins only appeared of what had been; and that which was
+worse than all this, that I was the most dejected, disconsolate
+creature alive.  I that had encouraged my husband, and
+endeavoured to support his spirits under his trouble, could not
+support my own; I wanted that spirit in trouble which I told
+him was so necessary to him for bearing the burthen.
+
+But my case was indeed deplorable, for I was left perfectly
+friendless and helpless, and the loss my husband had sustained
+had reduced his circumstances so low, that though indeed I
+was not in debt, yet I could easily foresee that what was left
+would not support me long; that while it wasted daily for
+subsistence, I had not way to increase it one shilling, so that
+it would be soon all spent, and then I saw nothing before me
+but the utmost distress; and this represented itself so lively to
+my thoughts, that it seemed as if it was come, before it was
+really very near; also my very apprehensions doubled the misery,
+for I fancied every sixpence that I paid for a loaf of bread was
+the last that I had in the world, and that to-morrow I was to
+fast, and be starved to death.
+
+In this distress I had no assistant, no friend to comfort or
+advise me; I sat and cried and tormented myself night and day,
+wringing my hands, and sometimes raving like a distracted
+woman; and indeed I have often wondered it had not affected
+my reason, for I had the vapours to such a degree, that my
+understanding was sometimes quite lost in fancies and
+imaginations.
+
+I lived two years in this dismal condition, wasting that little I
+had, weeping continually over my dismal circumstances, and,
+as it were, only bleeding to death, without the least hope or
+prospect of help from God or man; and now I had cried too
+long, and so often, that tears were, as I might say, exhausted,
+and I began to be desperate, for I grew poor apace.
+
+For a little relief I had put off my house and took lodgings;
+and as I was reducing my living, so I sold off most of my goods,
+which put a little money in my pocket, and I lived near a year
+upon that, spending very sparingly, and eking things out to the
+utmost; but still when I looked before me, my very heart would
+sink within me at the inevitable approach of misery and want.
+Oh let none read this part without seriously reflecting on the
+circumstances of a desolate state, and how they would grapple
+with mere want of friends and want of bread; it will certainly
+make them think not of sparing what they have only, but of
+looking up to heaven for support, and of the wise man's prayer,
+'Give me not poverty, lest I steal.'
+
+Let them remember that a time of distress is a time of dreadful
+temptation, and all the strength to resist is taken away;  poverty
+presses, the soul is made desperate by distress, and what can
+be done?  It was one evening, when being brought, as I may
+say, to the last gasp, I think I may truly say I was distracted
+and raving, when prompted by I know not what spirit, and, as
+it were, doing I did not know what or why, I dressed me (for
+I had still pretty good clothes) and went out.  I am very sure
+I had no manner of design in my head when I went out; I neither
+knew nor considered where to go, or on what business; but as
+the devil carried me out and laid his bait for me, so he brought
+me, to be sure, to the place, for I knew not whither I was going
+or what I did.
+
+Wandering thus about, I knew not whither, I passed by an
+apothecary's shop in Leadenhall Street, when I saw lie on a
+stool just before the counter a little bundle wrapped in a white
+cloth; beyond it stood a maid-servant with her back to it,
+looking towards the top of the shop, where the apothecary's
+apprentice, as I suppose, was standing upon the counter, with
+his back also to the door, and a candle in his hand, looking
+and reaching up to the upper shelf for something he wanted,
+so that both were engaged mighty earnestly, and nobody else
+in the shop.
+
+This was the bait; and the devil, who I said laid the snare, as
+readily prompted me as if he had spoke, for I remember, and
+shall never forget it, 'twas like a voice spoken to me over my
+shoulder, 'Take the bundle; be quick; do it this moment.'  It
+was no sooner said but I stepped into the shop, and with my
+back to the wench, as if I had stood up for a cart that was
+going by, I put my hand behind me and took the bundle, and
+went off with it, the maid or the fellow not perceiving me, or
+any one else.
+
+It is impossible to express the horror of my soul all the while
+I did it.  When I went away I had no heart to run, or scarce to
+mend my pace.  I crossed the street indeed, and went down
+the first turning I came to, and I think it was a street that went
+through into Fenchurch Street.  From thence I crossed and
+turned through so many ways and turnings, that I could never
+tell which way it was, not where I went; for I felt not the
+ground I stepped on, and the farther I was out of danger, the
+faster I went, till, tired and out of breath, I was forced to sit
+down on a little bench at a door, and then I began to recover,
+and found I was got into Thames Street, near Billingsgate.  I
+rested me a little and went on; my blood was all in a fire; my
+heart beat as if I was in a sudden fright.  In short, I was under
+such a surprise that I still knew not wither I was going, or
+what to do.
+
+After I had tired myself thus with walking a long way about,
+and so eagerly, I began to consider and make home to my
+lodging, where I came about nine o'clock at night.
+
+When the bundle was made up for, or on what occasion laid
+where I found it, I knew not, but when I came to open it I
+found there was a suit of childbed-linen in it, very good and
+almost new, the lace very fine; there was a silver porringer of
+a pint, a small silver mug and six spoons, with some other
+linen, a good smock, and three silk handkerchiefs, and in the
+mug, wrapped up in a paper, 18s. 6d. in money.
+
+All the while I was opening these things I was under such
+dreadful impressions of fear, and I such terror of mind, though
+I was perfectly safe, that I cannot express the manner of it.  I
+sat me down, and cried most vehemently.  'Lord,' said I, 'what
+am I now? a thief!  Why, I shall be taken next time, and be
+carried to Newgate and be tried for my life!'  And with that I
+cried again a long time, and I am sure, as poor as I was, if I
+had durst for fear, I would certainly have carried the things
+back again; but that went off after a while.  Well, I went to
+bed for that night, but slept little; the horror of the fact was
+upon my mind, and I knew not what I said or did all night,
+and all the next day.  Then I was impatient to hear some news
+of the loss; and would fain know how it was, whether they
+were a poor body's goods, or a rich.  'Perhaps,' said I, 'it
+may be some poor widow like me, that had packed up these
+goods to go and sell them for a little bread for herself and a
+poor child, and are now starving and breaking their hearts for
+want of that little they would have fetched.'  And this thought
+tormented me worse than all the rest, for three or four days'
+time.
+
+But my own distresses silenced all these reflections, and the
+prospect of my own starving, which grew every day more
+frightful to me, hardened my heart by degrees.  It was then
+particularly heavy upon my mind, that I had been reformed,
+and had, as I hoped, repented of all my past wickedness; that
+I had lived a sober, grave, retired life for several years, but now
+I should be driven by the dreadful necessity of my circumstances
+to the gates of destruction, soul and body; and two or three
+times I fell upon my knees, praying to God, as well as I could,
+for deliverance; but I cannot but say, my prayers had no hope
+in them.  I knew not what to do; it was all fear without, and
+dark within; and I reflected on my past life as not sincerely
+repented of, that Heaven was now beginning to punish me on
+this side the grave, and would make me as miserable as I had
+been wicked.
+
+Had I gone on here I had perhaps been a true penitent; but I
+had an evil counsellor within, and he was continually prompting
+me to relieve myself by the worst means; so one evening he
+tempted me again, by the same wicked impulse that had said
+'Take that bundle,' to go out again and seek for what might
+happen.
+
+I went out now by daylight, and wandered about I knew not
+whither, and in search of I knew not what, when the devil put
+a snare in my way of a dreadful nature indeed, and such a one
+as I have never had before or since.  Going through Aldersgate
+Street, there was a pretty little child who had been at a dancing-
+school, and was going home, all alone; and my prompter, like
+a true devil, set me upon this innocent creature.  I talked to it,
+and it prattled to me again, and I took it by the hand and led
+it along till I came to a paved alley that goes into Bartholomew
+Close, and I led it in there.  The child said that was not its way
+home.  I said, 'Yes, my dear, it is; I'll show you the way home.'
+The child had a little necklace on of gold beads, and I had my
+eye upon that, and in the dark of the alley I stooped, pretending
+to mend the child's clog that was loose, and took off her
+necklace, and the child never felt it, and so led the child on
+again.  Here, I say, the devil put me upon killing the child in
+the dark alley, that it might not cry, but the very thought
+frighted me so that I was ready to drop down; but I turned the
+child about and bade it go back again, for that was not its way
+home.  The child said, so she would, and I went through into
+Bartholomew Close, and then turned round to another passage
+that goes into St. John Street; then, crossing into Smithfield,
+went down Chick Lane and into Field Lane to Holborn Bridge,
+when, mixing with the crowd of people usually passing there,
+it was not possible to have been found out; and thus I
+enterprised my second sally into the world.
+
+The thoughts of this booty put out all the thoughts of the first,
+and the reflections I had made wore quickly off; poverty, as I
+have said, hardened my heart, and my own necessities made
+me regardless of anything.  The last affair left no great concern
+upon me, for as I did the poor child no harm, I only said to
+myself, I had given the parents a just reproof for their negligence
+in leaving the poor little lamb to come home by itself, and it
+would teach them to take more care of it another time.
+
+This string of beads was worth about twelve or fourteen pounds.
+I suppose it might have been formerly the mother's, for it was
+too big for the child's wear, but that perhaps the vanity of the
+mother, to have her child look fine at the dancing-school, had
+made her let the child wear it; and no doubt the child had a
+maid sent to take care of it, but she, careless jade, was taken
+up perhaps with some fellow that had met her by the way,
+and so the poor baby wandered till it fell into my hands.
+
+However, I did the child no harm; I did not so much as fright
+it, for I had a great many tender thoughts about me yet, and
+did nothing but what, as I may say, mere necessity drove me to.
+
+I had a great many adventures after this, but I was young in
+the business, and did not know how to manage, otherwise than
+as the devil put things into my head; and indeed he was seldom
+backward to me.  One adventure I had which was very lucky
+to me.  I was going through Lombard Street in the dusk of the
+evening, just by the end of Three King court, when on a sudden
+comes a fellow running by me as swift as lightning, and throws
+a bundle that was in his hand, just behind me, as I stood up
+against the corner of the house at the turning into the alley.
+Just as he threw it in he said, 'God bless you, mistress, let it
+lie there a little,' and away he runs swift as the wind.  After
+him comes two more, and immediately a young fellow without
+his hat, crying 'Stop thief!' and after him two or three more.
+They pursued the two last fellows so close, that they were
+forced to drop what they had got, and one of them was taken
+into the bargain, and other got off free.
+
+I stood stock-still all this while, till they came back, dragging
+the poor fellow they had taken, and lugging the things they
+had found, extremely well satisfied that they had recovered
+the booty and taken the thief; and thus they passed by me, for
+I looked only like one who stood up while the crowd was gone.
+
+Once or twice I asked what was the matter, but the people
+neglected answering me, and I was not very importunate; but
+after the crowd was wholly past, I took my opportunity to turn
+about and take up what was behind me and walk away.  This,
+indeed, I did with less disturbance than I had done formerly,
+for these things I did not steal, but they were stolen to my hand.
+I got safe to my lodgings with this cargo, which was a piece of
+fine black lustring silk, and a piece of velvet; the latter was but
+part of a piece of about eleven yards; the former was a whole
+piece of near fifty yards.  It seems it was a mercer's shop that
+they had rifled.  I say rifled, because the goods were so
+considerable that they had lost; for the goods that they
+recovered were pretty many, and I believe came to about six
+or seven several pieces of silk.  How they came to get so many
+I could not tell; but as I had only robbed the thief, I made no
+scruple at taking these goods, and being very glad of them too.
+
+I had pretty good luck thus far, and I made several adventures
+more, though with but small purchase, yet with good success,
+but I went in daily dread that some mischief would befall me,
+and that I should certainly come to be hanged at last.  The
+impression this made on me was too strong to be slighted, and
+it kept me from making attempts that, for ought I knew, might
+have been very safely performed; but one thing I cannot omit,
+which was a bait to me many a day.  I walked frequently out
+into the villages round the town, to see if nothing would fall
+in my way there; and going by a house near Stepney, I saw on
+the window-board two rings, one a small diamond ring, and
+the other a gold ring, to be sure laid there by some thoughtless
+lady, that had more money then forecast, perhaps only till
+she washed her hands.
+
+I walked several times by the window to observe if I could
+see whether there was anybody in the room or no, and I could
+see nobody, but still I was not sure.  It came presently into my
+thoughts to rap at the glass, as if I wanted to speak with
+somebody, and if anybody was there they would be sure to
+come to the window, and then I would tell them to remove
+those rings, for that I had seen two suspicious fellows take
+notice of them.  This was a ready thought.  I rapped once or
+twice and nobody came, when, seeing the coast clear, I thrust
+hard against the square of the glass, and broke it with very
+little noise, and took  out the two rings, and walked away with
+them very safe.  The diamond ring was worth about #3, and
+the other about 9s.
+
+I was now at a loss for a market for my goods, and especially
+for my two pieces of silk.  I was very loth to dispose of them
+for a trifle, as the poor unhappy thieves in general do, who,
+after they have ventured their lives for perhaps a thing of value,
+are fain to sell it for a song when they have done; but I was
+resolved I would not do thus, whatever shift I made, unless I
+was driven to the last extremity.  However, I did not well know
+what course to take.  At last I resolved to go to my old governess,
+and acquaint myself with her again.  I had punctually supplied
+the #5 a year to her for my little boy as long as I was able, but
+at last was obliged to put a stop to it.  However, I had written
+a letter to her, wherein I had told her that my circumstances
+were reduced very low; that I had lost my husband, and that I
+was not able to do it any longer, and so begged that the poor
+child might not suffer too much for its mother's misfortunes.
+
+I now made her a visit, and I found that she drove something
+of the old trade still, but that she was not in such flourishing
+circumstances as before; for she had been sued by a certain
+gentleman who had had his daughter stolen from him, and who,
+it seems, she had helped to convey away; and it was very
+narrowly that she escaped the gallows.  The expense also had
+ravaged her, and she was become very poor; her house was
+but meanly furnished, and she was not in such repute for her
+practice as before; however, she stood upon her legs, as they
+say, and a she was a stirring, bustling woman, and had some
+stock left, she was turned pawnbroker, and lived pretty well.
+
+She received me very civilly, and with her usual obliging
+manner told me she would not have the less respect for me for
+my being reduced; that she had taken care my boy was very
+well looked after, though I could not pay for him, and that the
+woman that had him was easy, so that I needed not to trouble
+myself about him till I might be better able to do it effectually.
+
+I told her that I had not much money left, but that I had some
+things that were money's worth, if she could tell me how I
+might turn them into money.  She asked me what it was I had.
+I pulled out the string of gold beads, and told her it was one
+of my husband's presents to me; then I showed her the two
+parcels of silk, which I told her I had from Ireland, and brought
+up to town with me; and the little diamond ring.  As to the
+small parcel of plate and spoons, I had found means to dispose
+of them myself before; and as for the childbed-linen I had, she
+offered me to take it herself, believing it to have been my own.
+She told me that she was turned pawnbroker, and that she
+would sell those things for me as pawn to her; and so she sent
+presently for proper agents that bought them, being in her
+hands, without any scruple, and gave good prices too.
+
+I now began to think this necessary woman might help me a
+little in my low condition to some business, for I would gladly
+have turned my hand to any honest employment if I could have
+got it.  But here she was deficient; honest business did not
+come within her reach.  If I had been younger, perhaps she
+might have helped me to a spark, but my thoughts were off
+that kind of livelihood, as being quite out of the way after fifty,
+which was my case, and so I told her.
+
+She invited me at last to come, and be at her house till I could
+find something to do, and it should cost me very little, and this
+I gladly accepted of.  And now living a little easier, I entered
+into some measures to have my little son by my last husband
+taken off; and this she made easy too, reserving a payment
+only of #5 a year, if I could pay it.  This was such a help to me,
+that for a good while I left off the wicked trade that I had so
+newly taken up; and gladly I would have got my bread by the
+help of my needle if I could have got work, but that was very
+hard to do for one that had no manner of acquaintance in the
+world.
+
+However, at last I got some quilting work for ladies' beds,
+petticoats, and the like; and this I liked very well, and worked
+very hard, and with this I began to live; but the diligent devil,
+who resolved I should continue in his service, continually
+prompted me to go out and take a walk, that is to say, to see
+if anything would offer in the old way.
+
+One evening I blindly obeyed his summons, and fetched a long
+circuit through the streets, but met with no purchase, and came
+home very weary and empty; but not content with that, I went
+out the next evening too, when going by an alehouse I saw the
+door of a little room open, next the very street, and on the table
+a silver tankard, things much in use in public-houses at that
+time.  It seems some company had been drinking there, and the
+careless boys had forgot to take it away.
+
+I went into the box frankly, and setting the silver tankard on
+the corner of the bench, I sat down before it, and knocked with
+my foot; a boy came presently, and I bade him fetch me a pint
+of warm ale, for it was cold weather; the boy ran, and I heard
+him go down the cellar to draw the ale.  While the boy was
+gone, another boy came into the room, and cried, 'D' ye call?'
+I spoke with a melancholy air, and said, 'No, child; the boy is
+gone for a pint of ale for me.'
+
+While I sat here, I heard the woman in the bar say, 'Are they
+all gone in the five?' which was the box I sat in, and the boy
+said, 'Yes.'  'Who fetched the tankard away?' says the woman.
+'I did,' says another boy; 'that's it,' pointing, it seems, to
+another tankard, which he had fetched from another box by
+mistake; or else it must be, that the rogue forgot that he had
+not brought it in, which certainly he had not.
+
+I heard all this, much to my satisfaction, for I found plainly
+that the tankard was not missed, and yet they concluded it was
+fetched away; so I drank my ale, called to pay, and as I went
+away I said, 'Take care of your plate, child,' meaning a silver
+pint mug, which he brought me drink in.  The boy said, 'Yes,
+madam, very welcome,' and away I came.
+
+I came home to my governess, and now I thought it was a
+time to try her, that if I might be put to the necessity of being
+exposed, she might offer me some assistance.  When I had
+been at home some time, and had an opportunity of talking to
+her, I told her I had a secret of the greatest consequence in the
+world to commit to her, if she had respect enough for me to
+keep it a secret.  She told me she had kept one of my secrets
+faithfully; why should I doubt her keeping another?  I told her
+the strangest thing in the world had befallen me, and that it
+had made a thief of me, even without any design, and so told
+her the whole story of the tankard.  'And have you brought it
+away with you, my dear?' says she.  'To be sure I have,' says
+I, and showed it her.  'But what shall I do now,' says I; 'must
+not carry it again?'
+
+'Carry it again!' says she.  'Ay, if you are minded to be sent
+to Newgate for stealing it.'  'Why,' says I, 'they can't be so
+base to stop me, when I carry it to them again?'  'You don't
+know those sort of people, child,' says she; 'they'll not only
+carry you to Newgate, but hang you too, without any regard
+to the honesty of returning it; or bring in an account of all the
+other tankards they have lost, for you to pay for.'  'What must
+I do, then?' says I.  'Nay,' says she, 'as you have played the
+cunning part and stole it, you must e'en keep it; there's no
+going back now.  Besides, child,' says she, 'don't you want it
+more than they do?  I wish you could light of such a bargain
+once a week.'
+
+This gave me a new notion of my governess, and that since
+she was turned pawnbroker, she had a sort of people about
+her that were none of the honest ones that I had met with
+there before.
+
+I had not been long there but I discovered it more plainly than
+before, for every now and then I saw hilts of swords, spoons,
+forks, tankards, and all such kind of ware brought in, not to be
+pawned, but to be sold downright; and she bought everything
+that came without asking any questions, but had very good
+bargains, as I found by her discourse.
+
+I found also that in following this trade she always melted
+down the plate she bought, that it might not be challenged;
+and she came to me and told me one morning that she was
+going to melt, and if I would, she would put my tankard in,
+that it might not be seen by anybody.  I told her, with all my
+heart; so she weighed it, and allowed me the full value in silver
+again; but I found she did not do the same to the rest of her
+customers.
+
+Some time after this, as I was at work, and very melancholy,
+she begins to ask me what the matter was, as she was used to
+do.  I told her my heart was heavy; I had little work, and
+nothing to live on, and knew not what course to take.  She
+laughed, and told me I must go out again and try my fortune;
+it might be that I might meet with another piece of plate.
+'O mother!' says I, 'that is a trade I have no skill in, and if I
+should be taken I am undone at once.'  Says she, 'I could help
+you to a schoolmistress that shall make you as dexterous as
+herself.'  I trembled at  that proposal, for hitherto I had had
+no confederates, nor any acquaintance among that tribe.  But
+she conquered all my modesty, and all my fears; and in a little
+time, by the help of this confederate, I grew as impudent a
+thief, and as dexterous as ever Moll Cutpurse was, though,
+if fame does not belie her, not half so handsome.
+
+The comrade she helped me to dealt in three sorts of craft, viz.
+shoplifting, stealing of shop-books and pocket-books, and
+taking off gold watches from the ladies' sides; and this last she
+did so dexterously that no woman ever arrived to the performance
+of that art so as to do it like her.  I liked the first and the last
+of these things very well, and I attended her some time in the
+practice, just as a deputy attends a midwife, without any pay.
+
+At length she put me to practice.  She had shown me her art,
+and I had several times unhooked a watch from her own side
+with great dexterity.  At last she showed me a prize, and this
+was a young lady big with child, who had a charming watch.
+The thing was to be done as she came out of church.  She goes
+on one side of the lady, and pretends, just as she came to the
+steps, to fall, and fell against the lady with so much violence
+as put her into a great fright, and both cried out terribly.  In
+the very moment that she jostled the lady, I had hold of the
+watch, and holding it the right way, the start she gave drew
+the hook out, and she never felt it.  I made off immediately,
+and left my schoolmistress to come out of her pretended fright
+gradually, and the lady too; and presently the watch was missed.
+'Ay,' says my comrade, 'then it was those rogues that thrust
+me down, I warrant ye; I wonder the gentlewoman did not miss
+her watch before, then we might have taken them.'
+
+She humoured the thing so well that nobody suspected her,
+and I was got home a full hour before her.  This was my first
+adventure in company.  The watch was indeed a very fine one,
+and had a great many trinkets about it, and my governess
+allowed us #20 for it, of which I had half.  And thus I was
+entered a complete thief, hardened to the pitch above all the
+reflections of conscience or modesty, and to a degree which
+I must acknowledge I never thought possible in me.
+
+Thus the devil, who began, by the help of an irresistible poverty,
+to push me into this wickedness, brought me on to a height
+beyond the common rate, even when my necessities were not
+so great, or the prospect of my misery so terrifying; for I had
+now got into a little vein of work, and as I was not at a loss
+to handle my needle, it was very probable, as acquaintance
+came in, I might have got my bread honestly enough.
+
+I must say, that if such a prospect of work had presented itself
+at first, when I began to feel the approach of my miserable
+circumstances--I say, had such a prospect of getting my bread
+by working presented itself then, I had never fallen into this
+wicked trade, or into such a wicked gang as I was now embarked
+with; but practice had hardened me, and I grew audacious to
+the last degree; and the more so because I had carried it on so
+long, and had never been taken; for, in a word, my new partner
+in wickedness and I went on together so long, without being
+ever detected, that we not only grew bold, but we grew rich,
+and we had at one time one-and-twenty gold watches in our
+hands.
+
+I remember that one day being a little more serious than
+ordinary, and finding I had so good a stock beforehand as I
+had, for I had near #200 in money for my share, it came
+strongly into my mind, no doubt from some kind spirit, if such
+there be, that at first poverty excited me, and my distresses
+drove me to these dreadful shifts; so seeing those distresses
+were now relieved, and I could also get something towards a
+maintenance by working, and had so good a bank to support
+me, why should I now not leave off, as they say, while I was
+well? that I could not expect to go always free; and if I was
+once surprised, and miscarried, I was undone.
+
+This was doubtless the happy minute, when, if I had hearkened
+to the blessed hint, from whatsoever had it came, I had still a
+cast for an easy life.  But my fate was otherwise determined;
+the busy devil that so industriously drew me in had too fast
+hold of me to let me go back; but as poverty brought me into
+the mire, so avarice kept me in, till there was no going back.
+As to the  arguments which my reason dictated for persuading
+me to lay down, avarice stepped in and said, 'Go on, go on;
+you have had very good luck; go on till you have gotten four
+or five hundred pounds, and they you shall leave off, and then
+you may live easy without working at all.'
+
+Thus I, that was once in the devil's clutches, was held fast
+there as with a charm, and had no power to go without the
+circle, till I was engulfed in labyrinths of trouble too great to
+get out at all.
+
+However, these thoughts left some impression upon me, and
+made me act with some more caution than before, and more
+than my directors used for themselves.  My comrade, as I
+called her, but rather she should have been called my teacher,
+with another of her scholars, was the first in the misfortune;
+for, happening to be upon the hunt for purchase, they made
+an attempt upon a linen-draper in Cheapside, but were snapped
+by a hawk's-eyed journeyman, and seized with two pieces of
+cambric, which were taken also upon them.
+
+This was enough to lodge them both in Newgate, where they
+had the misfortune to have some of their former sins brought
+to remembrance.  Two other indictments being brought against
+them, and the facts being proved upon them, they were both
+condemned to die.  They both pleaded their bellies, and were
+both voted quick with child; though my tutoress was no more
+with child than I was.
+
+I went frequently to see them, and condole with them, expecting
+that it would be my turn next; but the place gave me so much
+horror, reflecting that it was the place of my unhappy birth,
+and of my mother's misfortunes, and that I could not bear it,
+so I was forced to leave off going to see them.
+
+And oh! could I have but taken warning by their disasters, I
+had been happy still, for I was yet free, and had nothing brought
+against me; but it could not be, my measure was not yet filled
+up.
+
+My comrade, having the brand of an old offender, was executed;
+the young offender was spared, having obtained a reprieve,
+but lay starving a long while in prison, till at last she got her
+name into what they call a circuit pardon, and so came off.
+
+This terrible example of my comrade frighted me heartily, and
+for a good while I made no excursions; but one night, in the
+neighbourhood of my governess's house, they cried 'Fire.'
+My governess looked out, for we were all up, and cried
+immediately that such a gentlewoman's house was all of a light
+fire atop, and so indeed it was.  Here she gives me a job.  'Now,
+child,' says she, 'there is a rare opportunity, for the fire being
+so near that you may go to it before the street is blocked up
+with the crowd.'  She presently gave me my cue.  'Go, child,'
+says she, 'to the house, and run in and tell the lady, or anybody
+you see, that you come to help them, and that you came from
+such a gentlewoman (that is, one of her acquaintance farther
+up the street).'  She gave me the like cue to the next house,
+naming another name that was also an acquaintance of the
+gentlewoman of the house.
+
+Away I went, and, coming to the house, I found them all in
+confusion, you may be sure.  I ran in, and finding one of the
+maids, 'Lord! sweetheart,' says I, 'how came this dismal
+accident?  Where is your mistress?  Any how does she do?
+Is she safe?  And where are the children?  I come from
+Madam ---- to help you.'  Away runs the maid.  'Madam,
+madam,' says she, screaming as loud as she could yell, 'here
+is a gentlewoman come from Madam ---- to help us.'  The
+poor woman, half out of her wits, with a bundle under her arm,
+an two little children, comes toward me.  'Lord! madam,' says
+I, 'let me carry the poor children to Madam ----,' she desires
+you to send them; she'll take care of the poor lambs;' and
+immediately I takes one of them out of her hand, and she lifts
+the other up into my arms.  'Ay, do, for God's sake,' says she,
+'carry them to her.  Oh! thank her for her kindness.'  'Have
+you anything else to secure, madam?' says I; 'she will take
+care of it.'  'Oh dear! ay,' says she, 'God bless her, and thank
+her. Take this bundle of plate and carry it to her too.  Oh, she
+is a good woman.  Oh Lord! we are utterly ruined, utterly
+undone!'  And away she runs from me out of her wits, and
+the maids after her; and away comes I with the two children
+and the bundle.
+
+I was no sooner got into the street but I saw another woman
+come to me.  'Oh!' says she, 'mistress,' in a piteous tone, 'you
+will let fall the child.  Come, this is a sad time; let me help you';
+and immediately lays hold of my bundle to carry it for me.
+'No,' says I; 'if you will help me, take the child by the hand,
+and lead it for me but to the upper end of the street; I'll go
+with you and satisfy you for your pains.'
+
+She could not aviod going, after what I said; but the creature,
+in short, was one of the same business with me, and wanted
+nothing but the bundle; however, she went with me to the
+door, for she could not help it.  When we were come there I
+whispered her, 'Go, child,' said I, 'I understand your trade;
+you may meet with purchase enough.'
+
+She understood me and walked off.  I thundered at the door
+with the children, and as the people were raised before by the
+noise of the fire, I was soon let in, and I said, 'Is madam
+awake?  Pray tell her Mrs. ---- desires the favour of her to
+take the two children in; poor lady, she will be undone, their
+house is all of a flame,'  They took the children in very civilly,
+pitied the family in distress, and away came I with my bundle.
+One of the maids asked me if  I was not to leave the bundle
+too.  I said, 'No, sweetheart, 'tis to go to another place; it
+does not belong to them.'
+
+I was a great way out of the hurry now, and so I went on,
+clear of anybody's inquiry, and brought the bundle of plate,
+which was very considerable, straight home, and gave it to
+my old governess.  She told me she would not look into it,
+but bade me go out again to look for more.
+
+She gave me the like cue to the gentlewoman of the next house
+to that which was on fire, and I did my endeavour to go, but
+by this time the alarm of fire was so great, and so many
+engines playing, and the street so thronged with people, that
+I could not get near the house whatever I would do; so I came
+back again to my governess's, and taking the bundle up into
+my chamber, I began to examine it.  It is with horror that I
+tell what a treasure I found there; 'tis enough to say, that
+besides most of the family plate, which was considerable, I
+found a gold chain, an old-fashioned thing, the locket of which
+was broken, so that I suppose it had not been used some years,
+but the gold was not the worse for that; also a little box of
+burying-rings, the lady's wedding-ring, and some broken bits
+of old lockets of gold, a gold watch, and a purse with about
+#24 value in old pieces of gold coin, and several other things
+of value.
+
+This was the greatest and the worst prize that ever I was
+concerned in; for indeed, though, as I have said above, I was
+hardened now beyond the power of all reflection in other cases,
+yet it really touched me to the very soul when I looked into
+this treasure, to think of the poor disconsolate gentlewoman
+who had lost so much by the fire besides; and who would think,
+to be sure, that she had saved her plate and best things; how
+she would be surprised and afflicted when she should find that
+she had been deceived, and should find that the person that
+took her children and her goods, had not come, as was pretended,
+from the gentlewoman in the next street, but that the children
+had been put upon her without her own knowledge.
+
+I say, I confess the inhumanity of this action moved me very
+much, and made me relent exceedingly, and tears stood in my
+eyes upon that subject; but with all my sense of its being cruel
+and inhuman, I could never find in my heart to make any
+restitution.  The reflection wore off, and I began quickly to
+forget the circumstances that attended the taking them.
+
+Nor was this all; for though by this job I was become
+considerably richer than before, yet the resolution I had
+formerly taken, of leaving off this horrid trade when I had
+gotten a little more, did not return, but I must still get farther,
+and more; and the avarice joined so with the success, that I
+had no more thought of coming to a timely alteration of life,
+though without it I could expect no safety, no tranquillity in
+the possession of what I had so wickedly gained; but a little
+more, and a little more, was the case still.
+
+At length, yielding to the importunities of my crime, I cast off
+all remorse and repentance, and all the reflections on that head
+turned to no more than this, that I might perhaps come to have
+one booty more that might complete my desires; but though I
+certainly had that one booty, yet every hit looked towards
+another, and was so encouraging to me to go on with the trade,
+that I had no gust to the thought of laying it down.
+
+In this condition, hardened by success, and resolving to go on,
+I fell into the snare in which I was appointed to meet with my
+last reward for this kind of life.  But even this was not yet, for
+I met with several successful adventures more in this way of
+being undone.
+
+I remained still with my governess, who was for a while really
+concerned for the misfortune of my comrade that had been
+hanged, and who, it seems, knew enough of my governess to
+have sent her the same way, and which made her very uneasy;
+indeed, she was in a very great fright.
+
+It is true that when she was gone, and had not opened mouth
+to tell what she knew, my governess was easy as to that point,
+and perhaps glad she was hanged, for it was in her power to
+have obtained a pardon at the expense of her friends; but on
+the other hand, the loss of her, and the sense of her kindness
+in not making her market of what she knew, moved my
+governess to mourn very sincerely for her.  I comforted her
+as well as I could, and she in return hardened me to merit
+more completely the same fate.
+
+However, as I have said, it made me the more wary, and
+particularly I was very shy of shoplifting, especially among
+the mercers and drapers, who are a set of fellows that have
+their eyes very much about them.  I made a venture or two
+among the lace folks and the milliners, and particularly at one
+shop where I got notice of two young women who were newly
+set up, and had not been bred to the trade.  There I think I
+carried off a piece of bone-lace, worth six or seven pounds,
+and a paper of thread.  But this was but once; it was a trick
+that would not serve again.
+
+It was always reckoned a safe job when we heard of a new
+shop, and especially when the people were such as were not
+bred to shops.  Such may depend upon it that they will be
+visited once or twice at their beginning, and they must be very
+sharp indeed if they can prevent it.
+
+I made another adventure or two, but they were but trifles too,
+though sufficient to live on.  After this nothing considerable
+offering for a good while, I began to think that I must give
+over the trade in earnest; but my governess, who was not
+willing to lose me, and expected great things of me, brought
+me one day into company with a young woman and a fellow
+that went for her husband, though as it appeared afterwards,
+she was not his wife, but they were partners, it seems, in the
+trade they carried on, and partners in something else.  In short,
+they robbed together, lay together, were taken together, and
+at last were hanged together.
+
+I came into a kind of league with these two by the help of my
+governess, and they carried me out into three or four adventures,
+where I rather saw them commit some coarse and unhandy
+robberies, in which nothing but a great stock of impudence
+on their side, and gross negligence on the people's side who
+were robbed, could have made them successful.  So I resolved
+from that time forward to be very cautious how I adventured
+upon anything with them; and indeed, when two or three
+unlucky projects were proposed by them, I declined the offer,
+and persuaded them against it.  One time they particularly
+proposed robbing a watchmaker of three gold watches, which
+they had eyed in the daytime, and found the place where he
+laid them.  One of them had so many keys of all kinds, that he
+made no question to open the place where the watchmaker
+had laid them; and so we made a kind of an appointment; but
+when I came to look narrowly into the thing, I found they
+proposed breaking open the house, and this, as a thing out of
+my way, I would not embark in, so they went without me.
+They did get into the house by main force, and broke up the
+locked place where the watches were, but found but one of
+the gold watches, and a silver one, which they took, and got
+out of the house again very clear.  But the family, being alarmed,
+cried out 'Thieves,' and the man was pursued and taken; the
+young woman had got off too, but unhappily was stopped at
+a distance, and the watches found upon her.  And thus I had
+a second escape, for they were convicted, and both hanged,
+being old offenders, though but young people.  As I said before
+that they robbed together and lay together, so now they hanged
+together, and there ended my new partnership.
+
+I began now to be very wary, having so narrowly escaped a
+scouring, and having such an example before me; but I had a
+new tempter, who prompted me every day--I mean my governess;
+and now a prize presented, which as it came by her management,
+so she expected a good share of the booty.  There was a good
+quantity of Flanders lace lodged in a private house, where she
+had gotten intelligence of it, and Flanders lace being prohibited,
+it was a good booty to any custom-house officer that could
+come at it.  I had a full account from my governess, as well
+of the quantity as of the very place where it was concealed,
+and I went to a custom-house officer, and told him I had such
+a discovery to make to him of such a quantity of lace, if he
+would assure me that I should have my due share of the reward.
+This was so just an offer, that nothing could be fairer; so he
+agreed, and taking a constable and me with him, we beset the
+house.  As I told him I could go directly to the place, he left
+it to me; and the hole being very dark, I squeezed myself into
+it, with a candle in my hand, and so reached the pieces out to
+him, taking care as I gave him some so to secure as much about
+myself as I could conveniently dispose of.  There was near
+#300 worth of lace in the hole, and I secured about #50 worth
+of it to myself.  The people of the house were not owners of
+the lace, but a merchant who had entrusted them with it; so
+that they were not so surprised as I thought they would be.
+
+I left the officer overjoyed with his prize, and fully satisfied
+with what he had got, and appointed to meet him at a house
+of his own directing, where I came after I had disposed of the
+cargo I had about me, of which he had not the least suspicion.
+When I came to him he began to capitulate with me, believing
+I did not understand the right I had to a share in the prize, and
+would fain have put me off with #20, but I let him know that I
+was not so ignorant as he supposed I was; and yet I was glad,
+too, that he offered to bring me to a certainty.
+
+I asked #100, and he rose up to #30; I fell to #80, and he rose
+again to #40; in a word, he offered #50, and I consented, only
+demanding a piece of lace, which I though came to about #8
+or #9, as if it had been for my own wear, and he agreed to it.
+So I got #50 in money paid me that same night, and made an
+end of the bargain; nor did he ever know who I was, or where
+to inquire for me, so that if it had been discovered that part of
+the goods were embezzled, he could have made no challenge
+upon me for it.
+
+I very punctually divided this spoil with my governess, and I
+passed with her from this time for a very dexterous manager
+in the nicest cases.  I found that this last was the best and
+easiest sort of work that was in my way, and I made it my
+business to inquire out prohibited goods, and after buying
+some, usually betrayed them, but none of these discoveries
+amounted to anything considerable, not like that I related just
+now; but I was willing to act safe, and was still cautious of
+running the great risks which I found others did, and in which
+they miscarried every day.
+
+The next thing of moment was an attempt at a gentlewoman's
+good watch.  It happened in a crowd, at a meeting-house,
+where I was in very great danger of being taken.  I had full
+hold of her watch, but giving a great jostle, as if somebody
+had thrust me against her, and in the juncture giving the watch
+a fair pull, I found it would not come, so I let it go that moment,
+and cried out as if I had been killed, that somebody had trod
+upon my foot, and that there were certainly pickpockets there,
+for somebody or other had given a pull at my watch; for you
+are to observe that on these adventures we always went very
+well dressed, and I had very good clothes on, and a gold watch
+by my side, as like a lady as other fold.
+
+I had no sooner said so, but the other gentlewoman cried out
+'A pickpocket' too, for somebody, she said, had tried to pull
+her watch away.
+
+When I touched her watch I was close to her, but when I cried
+out I stopped as it were short, and the crowd bearing her
+forward a little, she made a noise too, but it was at some distance
+from me, so that she did not in the least suspect me; but when
+she cried out 'A pickpocket,' somebody cried, 'Ay, and here
+has been another! this gentlewoman has been attempted too.'
+
+At that very instance, a little farther in the crowd, and very
+luckily too, they cried out 'A pickpocket,' again, and really
+seized a young fellow in the very act.  This, though unhappy
+for the wretch, was very opportunely for my case, though I
+had carried it off handsomely enough before; but now it was
+out of doubt, and all the loose part of the crowd ran that way,
+and the poor boy was delivered up to the rage of the street,
+which is a cruelty I need not describe, and which, however,
+they are always glad of, rather than to be sent to Newgate,
+where they lie often a long time, till they are almost perished,
+and sometimes they are hanged, and the best they can look for,
+if they are convicted, is to be transported.
+
+This was a narrow escape to me, and I was so frighted that I
+ventured no more at gold watches a great while.  There was
+indeed a great many concurring circumstances in this adventure
+which assisted to my escape; but the chief was, that the woman
+whose watch I had pulled at was a fool; that is to say, she was
+ignorant of the nature of the attempt, which one would have
+thought she should not have been, seeing she was wise enough
+to fasten her watch so that it could not be slipped up.  But she
+was in such a fright that she had no thought about her proper
+for the discovery; for she, when she felt the pull, screamed out,
+and pushed herself forward, and put all the people about her into
+disorder, but said not a word of her watch, or of a pickpocket,
+for a least two minutes' time, which was time enough for me,
+and to spare.  For as I had cried out behind her, as I have said,
+and bore myself back in the crowd as she bore forward, there
+were several people, at least seven or eight, the throng being
+still moving on, that were got between me and her in that time,
+and then I crying out 'A pickpocket,' rather sooner than she,
+or at least as soon, she might as well be the person suspected
+as I, and the people were confused in their inquiry; whereas,
+had she with a presence of mind needful on such an occasion,
+as soon as she felt the pull, not screamed out as she did, but
+turned immediately round and seized the next body that was
+behind her, she had infallibly taken me.
+
+This is a direction not of the kindest sort to the fraternity, but
+'tis certainly a key to the clue of a pickpocket's motions, and
+whoever can follow it will as certainly catch the thief as he
+will be sure to miss if he does not.
+
+I had another adventure, which puts this matter out of doubt,
+and which may be an instruction for posterity in the case of a
+pickpocket.  My good old governess, to give a short touch at
+her history, though she had left off the trade, was, as I may say,
+born a pickpocket, and, as I understood afterwards, had run
+through all the several degrees of that art, and yet had never
+been taken but once, when she was so grossly detected, that
+she was convicted and ordered to be transported; but being a
+woman of a rare tongue, and withal having money in her pocket,
+she found means, the ship putting into Ireland for provisions,
+to get on shore there, where she lived and practised her old
+trade for some years; when falling into another sort of bad
+company, she turned midwife and procuress, and played a
+hundred pranks there, which she gave me a little history of in
+confidence between us as we grew more intimate; and it was
+to this wicked creature that I owed all the art and dexterity I
+arrived to, in which there were few that ever went beyond me,
+or that practised so long without any misfortune.
+
+It was after those adventures in Ireland, and when she was
+pretty well known in that country, that she left Dublin and
+came over to England, where, the time of her transportation
+being not expired, she left her former trade, for fear of falling
+into bad hands again, for then she was sure to have gone to
+wreck.  Here she set up the same trade she had followed in
+Ireland, in which she soon, by her admirable management and
+good tongue, arrived to the height which I have already
+described, and indeed began to be rich, though her trade fell
+off again afterwards, as I have hinted before.
+
+I mentioned thus much of the history of this woman here, the
+better to account for the concern she had in the wicked life I
+was now leading, into all the particulars of which she led me,
+as it were, by the hand, and gave me such directions, and I so
+well followed them, that I grew the greatest artist of my time
+and worked myself out of every danger with such dexterity,
+that when several more of my comrades ran themselves into
+Newgate presently, and by that time they had been half a year
+at the trade, I had now practised upwards of five years, and
+the people at Newgate did not so much as know me; they had
+heard much of me indeed, and often expected me there, but I
+always got off, though many times in the extremest danger.
+
+One of the greatest dangers I was now in, was that I was too
+well known among the trade, and some of them, whose hatred
+was owing rather to envy than any injury I had done them,
+began to be angry that I should always escape when they were
+always catched and hurried to Newgate.  These were they that
+gave me the name of Moll Flanders; for it was no more of
+affinity with my real name or with any of the name I had ever
+gone by, than black is of kin to white, except that once, as
+before, I called myself Mrs. Flanders; when I sheltered myself
+in the Mint; but that these rogues never knew, nor could I ever
+learn how they came to give me the name, or what the occasion
+of it was.
+
+I was soon informed that some of these who were gotten fast
+into Newgate had vowed to impeach me; and as I knew that
+two or three of them were but too able to do it, I was under
+a great concern about it, and kept within doors for a good
+while.  But my governess--whom I always made partner in my
+success, and who now played a sure game with me, for that
+she had a share of the gain and no share in the hazard--I say,
+my governess was something impatient of my leading such a
+useless, unprofitable life, as she called it; and she laid a new
+contrivance for my going abroad, and this was to dress me up
+in men's clothes, and so put me into a new kind of practice.
+
+I was tall and personable, but a little too smooth-faced for a
+man; however, I seldom went abroad but in the night, it did
+well enough; but it was a long time before I could behave in
+my new clothes--I mean, as to my craft.  It was impossible to
+be so nimble, so ready, so dexterous at these things in a dress
+so contrary to nature; and I did everything clumsily, so I had
+neither the success nor the easiness of escape that I had before,
+and I resolved to leave it off; but that resolution was confirmed
+soon after by the following accident.
+
+As my governess disguised me like a man, so she joined me
+with a man, a young fellow that was nimble enough at his
+business, and for about three weeks we did very well together.
+Our principal trade was watching shopkeepers' counters, and
+slipping off any kind of goods we could see carelessly laid
+anywhere, and we made several good bargains, as we called
+them, at this work.  And as we kept always together, so we
+grew very intimate, yet he never knew that I was not a man,
+nay, though I several times went home with him to his lodgings,
+according as our business directed, and four or five times lay
+with him all night.  But our design lay another way, and it was
+absolutely necessary to me to conceal my sex from him, as
+appeared afterwards.  The circumstances of our living, coming
+in late, and having such and such business to do as required
+that nobody should be trusted with the coming into our lodgings,
+were such as made it impossible to me to refuse lying with him,
+unless I would have owned my sex; and as it was, I effectually
+concealed myself.  But his ill, and my good fortune, soon put
+an end to this life, which I must own I was sick of too, on
+several other accounts.  We had made several prizes in this
+new way of business, but the last would be extraordinary.
+There was a shop in a certain street which had a warehouse
+behind it that looked into another street, the house making the
+corner of the turning.
+
+Through the window of the warehouse we saw, lying on the
+counter or showboard, which was just before it, five pieces of
+silks, besides other stuffs, and though it was almost dark, yet
+the people, being busy in the fore-shop with customers, had
+not had time to shut up those windows, or else had forgot it.
+
+This the young fellow was so overjoyed with, that he could
+not restrain himself.  It lay all within his reach he said, and he
+swore violently to me that he would have it, if he broke down
+the house for it.  I dissuaded him a little, but saw there was no
+remedy; so he ran rashly upon it, slipped out a square of the
+sash window dexterously enough, and without noise, and got
+out four pieces of the silks, and came with them towards me,
+but was immediately pursued with a terrible clutter and noise.
+We were standing together indeed, but I had not taken any of
+the goods out of his hand, when I said to him hastily, 'You are
+undone, fly, for God's sake!'  He ran like lightning, and I too,
+but the pursuit was hotter after him because he had the goods,
+than after me.  He dropped two of the pieces, which stopped
+them a little, but the crowd increased and pursued us both.
+They took him soon after with the other two pieces upon him,
+and then the rest followed me.  I ran for it and got into my
+governess's house whither some quick-eyed people followed
+me to warmly as to fix me there.  They did not immediately
+knock, at the door, by which I got time to throw off my disguise
+and dress me in my own clothes; besides, when they came there,
+my governess, who had her tale ready, kept her door shut, and
+called out to them and told them there was no man come in
+there.  The people affirmed there did a man come in there, and
+swore they would break open the door.
+
+My governess, not at all surprised, spoke calmly to them, told
+them they should very freely come and search her house, if
+they should bring a constable, and let in none but such as the
+constable would admit, for it was unreasonable to let in a whole
+crowd.  This they could not refuse, though they were a crowd.
+So a constable was fetched immediately, and she very freely
+opened the door; the constable kept the door, and the men he
+appointed searched the house, my governess going with them
+from room to room.  When she came to my room she called
+to me, and said aloud, 'Cousin, pray open the door; here's
+some gentlemen that must come and look into your room.'
+
+I had a little girl with me, which was my governess's grandchild,
+as she called her; and I bade her open the door, and there sat
+I at work with a great litter of things about me, as if I had been
+at work all day, being myself quite undressed, with only
+night-clothes on my head, and a loose morning-gown wrapped
+about me.  My governess made a kind of excuse for their
+disturbing me, telling me partly the occasion of it, and that she
+had no remedy but to open the doors to them, and let them
+satisfy themselves, for all she could say to them would not
+satisfy them.  I sat still, and bid them search the room if they
+pleased, for if there was anybody in the house, I was sure they
+were not in my room; and as for the rest of the house, I had
+nothing to say to that, I did not understand what they looked for.
+
+Everything looked so innocent and to honest about me, that
+they treated me civiller than I expected, but it was not till they
+had searched the room to a nicety, even under the bed, in the
+bed, and everywhere else where it was possible anything could
+be hid.  When they had done this, and could find nothing, they
+asked my pardon for troubling me, and went down.
+
+When they had thus searched the house from bottom to top,
+and then top to bottom, and could find nothing, they
+appeased the mob pretty well; but they carried my governess
+before the justice.  Two men swore that they saw the man
+whom they pursued go into her house.  My governess rattled
+and made a great noise that her house should be insulted, and
+that she should be used thus for nothing; that if a man did
+come in, he might go out again presently for aught she knew,
+for she was ready to make oath that no man had been within
+her doors all that day as she knew of (and that was very true
+indeed); that is might be indeed that as she was abovestairs,
+any fellow in a fright might find the door open and run in for
+shelter when he was pursued, but that she knew nothing of it;
+and if it had been so, he certainly went out again, perhaps at
+the other door, for she had another door into an alley, and so
+had made his escape and cheated them all.
+
+This was indeed probable enough, and the justice satisfied
+himself with giving her an oath that she had not received or
+admitted any man into her house to conceal him, or protect or
+hide him from justice.  This oath she might justly take, and
+did so, and so she was dismissed.
+
+It is easy to judge what a fright I was in upon this occasion,
+and it was impossible for my governess ever to bring me to
+dress in that disguise again; for, as I told her, I should certainly
+betray myself.
+
+My poor partner in this mischief was now in a bad case, for
+he was carried away before my Lord Mayor, and by his worship
+committed to Newgate, and the people that took him were so
+willing, as well as able, to prosecute him, that they offered
+themselves to enter into recognisances to appear at the sessions
+and pursue the charge against him.
+
+However, he got his indictment deferred, upon promise to
+discover his accomplices, and particularly the man that was
+concerned with him in his robbery; and he failed not to do his
+endeavour, for he gave in my name, whom he called Gabriel
+Spencer, which was the name I went by to him; and here
+appeared the wisdom of my concealing my name and sex from
+him, which, if he had ever known I had been undone.
+
+He did all he could to discover this Gabriel Spencer; he
+described me, he discovered the place where he said I lodged,
+and, in a word, all the particulars that he could of my dwelling;
+but having concealed the main circumstances of my sex from
+him, I had a vast advantage, and he never could hear of me.  He
+brought two or three families into trouble by his endeavouring
+to find me out, but they knew nothing of me, any more than
+that I had a fellow with me that they had seen, but knew nothing
+of.  And as for my governess, though she was the means of his
+coming to me, yet it was done at second-hand, and he knew
+nothing of her.
+
+This turned to his disadvantage; for having promised discoveries,
+but not being able to make it good, it was looked upon as
+trifling with the justice of the city, and he was the more fiercely
+pursued by the shopkeepers who took him.
+
+I was, however, terribly uneasy all this while, and that I might
+be quite out of the way, I went away from my governess's
+for a while; but not knowing wither to wander, I took a
+maid-servant with me, and took the stage-coach to Dunstable,
+to my old landlord and landlady, where I had lived so
+handsomely with my Lancashire husband.  Here I told her a
+formal story, that I expected my husband every day from
+Ireland, and that I had sent a letter to him that I would meet
+him at Dunstable at her house, and that he would certainly
+land, if the wind was fair, in a few days, so that I was come to
+spend a few days with them till he should come, for he was
+either come post, or in the West Chester coach, I knew not
+which; but whichsoever it was, he would be sure to come to
+that house to meet me.
+
+My landlady was mighty glad to see me, and my landlord made
+such a stir with me, that if I had been a princess I could not
+have been better used, and here I might have been welcome
+a month or two if I had thought fit.
+
+But my business was of another nature.  I was very uneasy
+(though so well disguised that it was scarce possible to detect
+me) lest this fellow should somehow or other find me out; and
+though he could not charge me with this robbery, having
+persuaded him not to venture, and having also done nothing
+in it myself but run away, yet he might have charged me with
+other things, and have bought his own life at the expense of
+mine.
+
+This filled me with horrible apprehensions.  I had no recourse,
+no friend, no confidante but my old governess, and I knew no
+remedy but to put my life in her hands, and so I did, for I let
+her know where to send to me, and had several letters from
+her while I stayed here.  Some of them almost scared me out
+my wits but at last she sent me the joyful news that he was
+hanged, which was the best news to me that I had heard a
+great while.
+
+I had stayed here five weeks, and lived very comfortably indeed
+(the secret anxiety of my mind excepted); but when I received
+this letter I looked pleasantly again, and told my landlady that
+I had received a letter from my spouse in Ireland, that I had
+the good news of his being very well, but had the bad news
+that his business would not permit him to come away so soon
+as he expected, and so I was like to go back again without him.
+
+My landlady complimented me upon the good news however,
+that I had heard he was well.  'For I have observed, madam,'
+says she, 'you hadn't been so pleasant as you used to be; you
+have been over head and ears in care for him, I dare say,' says
+the good woman; ''tis easy to be seen there's an alteration in
+you for the better,' says she.  'Well, I am sorry the esquire
+can't come yet,' says my landlord; 'I should have been heartily
+glad to have seen him.  But I hope, when you have certain
+news of his coming, you'll take a step hither again, madam,'
+says he; 'you shall be very welcome whenever you please to
+come.'
+
+With all these fine compliments we parted, and I came merry
+enough to London, and found my governess as well pleased
+as I was.  And now she told me she would never recommend
+any partner to me again, for she always found, she said, that
+I had the best luck when I ventured by myself.  And so indeed
+I had, for I was seldom in any danger when I was by myself,
+or if I was, I got out of it with more dexterity than when I was
+entangled with the dull measures of other people, who had
+perhaps less forecast, and were more rash and impatient than
+I; for though I had as much courage to venture as any of them,
+yet I used more caution before I undertook a thing, and had
+more presence of mind when I was to bring myself off.
+
+I have often wondered even at my own hardiness another
+way, that when all my companions were surprised and fell so
+suddenly into the hand of justice, and that I so narrowly escaped,
+yet I could not all this while enter into one serious resolution
+to leave off this trade, and especially considering that I was
+now very far from being poor; that the temptation of necessity,
+which is generally the introduction of all such wickedness, was
+now removed; for I had near #500 by me in ready money, on
+which I might have lived very well, if I had thought fit to have
+retired; but I say, I had not so much as the least inclination to
+leave off; no, not so much as I had before when I had but #200
+beforehand, and when I had no such frightful examples before
+my eyes as these were.  From hence 'tis evident to me, that
+when once we are hardened in crime, no fear can affect us,
+no example give us any warning.
+
+I had indeed one comrade whose fate went very near me for
+a good while, though I wore it off too in time.  That case was
+indeed very unhappy.  I had made a prize of a piece of very
+good damask in a mercer's shop, and went clear off myself,
+but had conveyed the piece to this companion of mine when
+we went out of the shop, and she went one way and I went
+another.  We had not been long out of the shop but the mercer
+missed his piece of stuff, and sent his messengers, one one
+way and one another, and they presently seized her that had
+the piece, with the damask upon her.  As for me, I had very
+luckily stepped into a house where there was a lace chamber,
+up one pair of stairs, and had the satisfaction, or the terror
+indeed, of looking out of the window upon the noise they
+made, and seeing the poor creature dragged away in triumph
+to the justice, who immediately committed her to Newgate.
+
+I was careful to attempt nothing in the lace chamber, but
+tumbled their goods pretty much to spend time; then bought
+a few yards of edging and paid for it, and came away very
+sad-hearted indeed for the poor woman, who was in tribulation
+for what I only had stolen.
+
+Here again my old caution stood me in good stead; namely,
+that though I often robbed with these people, yet I never let
+them know who I was, or where I lodged, nor could they ever
+find out my lodging, though they often endeavoured to watch
+me to it.  They all knew me by the name of Moll Flanders,
+though even some of them rather believed I was she than knew
+me to be so.  My name was public among them indeed, but
+how to find me out they knew not, nor so much as how to
+guess at my quarters, whether they were at the east end of the
+town or the west; and this wariness was my safety upon all
+these occasions.
+
+I kept close a great while upon the occasion of this woman's
+disaster.  I knew that if I should do anything that should
+miscarry, and should be carried to prison, she would be there
+and ready to witness against me, and perhaps save her life at
+my expense.  I considered that I began to be very well known
+by name at the Old Bailey, though they did not know my face,
+and that if I should fall into their hands, I should be treated as
+an old offender; and for this reason I was resolved to see what
+this poor creature's fate should be before I stirred abroad,
+though several times in her distress I conveyed money to her
+for her relief.
+
+At length she came to her trial.  She pleaded she did not steal
+the thing, but that one Mrs. Flanders, as she heard her called
+(for she did not know her), gave the bundle to her after they
+came out of the shop, and bade her carry it home to her lodging.
+They asked her where this Mrs. Flanders was, but she could
+not produce her, neither could she give the least account of
+me; and the mercer's men swearing positively that she was in
+the shop when the goods were stolen, that they immediately
+missed them, and pursued her, and found them upon her,
+thereupon the jury brought her in guilty; but the Court,
+considering that she was really not the person that stole the
+goods, an inferior assistant, and that it was very possible she
+could not find out this Mrs. Flanders, meaning me, though it
+would save her life, which indeed was true--I say, considering
+all this, they allowed her to be transported, which was the
+utmost favour she could obtain, only that the Court told her
+that if she could in the meantime produce the said Mrs. Flanders,
+they would intercede for her pardon; that is to say, if she could
+find me out, and hand me, she should not be transported.  This
+I took care to make impossible to her, and so she was shipped
+off in pursuance of her sentence a little while after.
+
+I must repeat it again, that the fate of this poor woman troubled
+me exceedingly, and I began to be very pensive, knowing that
+I was really the instrument of her disaster; but the preservation
+of my own life, which was so evidently in danger, took off all
+my tenderness; and seeing that she was not put to death, I was
+very easy at her transportation, because she was then out of
+the way of doing me any mischief, whatever should happen.
+
+The disaster of this woman was some months before that of
+the last-recited story, and was indeed partly occasion of my
+governess proposing to dress me up in men's clothes, that I
+might go about unobserved, as indeed I did; but I was soon
+tired of that disguise, as I have said, for indeed it exposed me
+to too many difficulties.
+
+I was now easy as to all fear of witnesses against me, for all
+those that had either been concerned with me, or that knew
+me by the name of Moll Flanders, were either hanged or
+transported; and if I should have had the misfortune to be
+taken, I might call myself anything else, as well as Moll Flanders,
+and no old sins could be placed into my account; so I began
+to run a-tick again with the more freedom, and several
+successful adventures I made, though not such as I had made
+before.
+
+We had at that time another fire happened not a great way off
+from the place where my governess lived, and I made an attempt
+there, as before, but as I was not soon enough before the crowd
+of people came in, and could not get to the house I aimed at,
+instead of a prize, I got a mischief, which had almost put a period
+ to my life and all my wicked doings together; for the fire being
+very furious, and the people in a great fright in removing their
+goods, and throwing them out of window, a wench from out
+of a window threw a feather-bed just upon me.  It is true, the
+bed being soft, it broke no bones; but as the weight was great,
+and made greater by the fall, it beat me down, and laid me
+dead for a while.  Nor did the people concern themselves much
+to deliver me from it, or to recover me at all; but I lay like one
+dead and neglected a good while, till somebody going to
+remove the bed out of the way, helped me up.  It was indeed
+a wonder the people in the house had not thrown other goods
+out after it, and which might have fallen upon it, and then I
+had been inevitably killed; but I was reserved for further
+afflictions.
+
+This accident, however, spoiled my market for that time, and
+I came home to my governess very much hurt and bruised,
+and frighted to the last degree, and it was a good while before
+she could set me upon my feet again.
+
+It was now a merry time of the year, and Bartholomew Fair
+was begun.  I had never made any walks that way, nor was
+the common part of the fair of much advantage to me; but I
+took a turn this year into the cloisters, and among the rest I
+fell into one of the raffling shops.  It was a thing of no great
+consequence to me, nor did I expect to make much of it; but
+there came a gentleman extremely well dressed and very rich,
+and as 'tis frequent to talk to everybody in those shops, he
+singled me out, and was very particular with me.  First he told
+me he would put in for me to raffle, and did so; and some
+small matter coming to his lot, he presented it to me (I think
+it was a feather muff); then he continued to keep talking to
+me with a more than common appearance of respect, but still
+very civil, and much like a gentleman.
+
+He held me in talk so long, till at last he drew me out of the
+raffling place to the shop-door, and then to a walk in the cloister,
+still talking of a thousand things cursorily without anything to
+the purpose.  At last he told me that, without compliment, he
+was charmed with my company, and asked me if I durst trust
+myself in a coach with him; he told me he was a man of honour,
+and would not offer anything to me unbecoming him as such.
+I seemed to decline it a while, but suffered myself to be
+importuned a little, and then yielded.
+
+I was at a loss in my thoughts to conclude at first what this
+gentleman designed; but I found afterwards he had had some
+drink in his head, and that he was not very unwilling to have
+some more.  He carried me in the coach to the Spring Garden,
+at Knightsbridge, where we walked in the gardens, and he
+treated me very handsomely; but I found he drank very freely.
+He pressed me also to drink, but I declined it.
+
+Hitherto he kept his word with me, and offered me nothing
+amiss.  We came away in the coach again, and he brought me
+into the streets, and by this time it was near ten o'clock at
+night, and he stopped the coach at a house where, it seems,
+he was acquainted, and where they made no scruple to show
+us upstairs into a room with a bed in it.  At first I seemed to
+be unwilling to go up, but after a few words I yielded to that
+too, being willing to see the end of it, and in hope to make
+something of it at last.  As for the bed, etc., I was not much
+concerned about that part.
+
+Here he began to be a little freer with me than he had promised;
+and I by little and little yielded to everything, so that, in a word,
+he did what he pleased with me; I need say no more.  All this
+while he drank freely too, and about one in the morning we
+went into the coach again.  The air and the shaking of the
+coach made the drink he had get more up in his head than it
+was before, and he grew uneasy in the coach, and was for
+acting over again what he had been doing before; but as I
+thought my game now secure, I resisted him, and brought him
+to be a little still, which had not lasted five minutes but he fell
+fast asleep.
+
+I took this opportunity to search him to a nicety.  I took a
+gold watch, with a silk purse of gold, his fine full-bottom
+periwig and silver-fringed gloves, his sword and fine snuff-box,
+and gently opening the coach door, stood ready to jump out
+while the coach was going on; but the coach stopped in the
+narrow street beyond Temple Bar to let another coach pass,
+I got softly out, fastened the door again, and gave my gentleman
+and the coach the slip both together, and never heard more
+of them.
+
+This was an adventure indeed unlooked for, and perfectly
+undesigned by me; though I was not so past the merry part
+of life, as to forget how to behave, when a fop so blinded by
+his appetite should not know an old woman from a young.  I
+did not indeed look so old as I was by ten or twelve years; yet
+I was not a young wench of seventeen, and it was easy enough
+to be distinguished.  There is nothing so absurd, so surfeiting,
+so ridiculous, as a man heated by wine in his head, and wicked
+gust in his inclination together; he is in the possession of two
+devils at once, and can no more govern himself by his reason
+than a mill can grind without water; his vice tramples upon all
+that was in him that had any good in it, if any such thing there
+was; nay, his very sense is blinded by its own rage, and he acts
+absurdities even in his views; such a drinking more, when he
+is drunk already; picking up a common woman, without regard
+to what she is or who she is, whether sound or rotten, clean
+or unclean, whether ugly or handsome, whether old or young,
+and so blinded as not really to distinguish.  Such a man is worse
+than a lunatic; prompted by his vicious, corrupted head, he no
+more knows what he is doing than this wretch of mine knew
+when I picked his pocket of his watch and his purse of gold.
+
+These are the men of whom Solomon says, 'They go like an
+ox to the slaughter, till a dart strikes through their liver'; an
+admirable description, by the way, of the foul disease, which
+is a poisonous deadly contagion mingling with the blood,
+whose centre or foundation is in the liver; from whence, by
+the swift circulation of the whole mass, that dreadful nauseous
+plague strikes immediately through his liver, and his spirits are
+infected, his vitals stabbed through as with a dart.
+
+It is true this poor unguarded wretch was in no danger from
+me, though I was greatly apprehensive at first of what danger
+I might be in from him; but he was really to be pitied in one
+respect, that he seemed to be a good sort of man in himself;
+a gentleman that had no harm in his design; a man of sense,
+and of a fine behaviour, a comely handsome person, a sober
+solid countenance, a charming beautiful face, and everything
+that could be agreeable; only had unhappily had some drink
+the night before, had not been in bed, as he told me when we
+were together; was hot, and his blood fired with wine, and in
+that condition his reason, as it were asleep, had given him up.
+
+As for me, my business was his money, and what I could make
+of him; and after that, if I could have found out any way to
+have done it, I would have sent him safe home to his house
+and to his family, for 'twas ten to one but he had an honest,
+virtuous wife and innocent children, that were anxious for his
+safety, and would have been glad to have gotten him home,
+and have taken care of him till he was restored to himself.
+And then with what shame and regret would he look back
+upon himself! how would he reproach himself with associating
+himself with a whore!  picked up in the worst of all holes, the
+cloister, among the dirt and filth of all the town! how would
+he be trembling for fear he had got the pox, for fear a dart had
+struck through his liver, and hate himself every time he looked
+back upon the madness and brutality of his debauch! how
+would he, if he had any principles of honour, as I verily believe
+he had--I say, how would he abhor the thought of giving any
+ill distemper, if he had it, as for aught he knew he might, to
+his modest and virtuous wife, and thereby sowing the contagion
+in the life-blood of his posterity.
+
+Would such gentlemen but consider the contemptible thoughts
+which the very women they are concerned with, in such cases
+as these, have of them, it would be a surfeit to them.  As I
+said above, they value not the pleasure, they are raised by no
+inclination to the man, the passive jade thinks of no pleasure
+but the money; and when he is, as it were, drunk in the
+ecstasies of his wicked pleasure, her hands are in his pockets
+searching for what she can find there, and of which he can no
+more be sensible in the moment of his folly that he can forethink
+of it when he goes about it.
+
+I knew a woman that was so dexterous with a fellow, who
+indeed deserved no better usage, that while he was busy with
+her another way, conveyed his purse with twenty guineas in
+it out of his fob-pocket, where he had put it for fear of her,
+and put another purse with gilded counters in it into the room
+of it.  After he had done, he says to her, 'Now han't you picked
+my pocket?'  She jested with him, and told him she supposed
+he had not much to lose; he put his hand to his fob, and with
+his fingers felt that his purse was there, which fully satisfied
+him, and so she brought off his money.  And this was a trade
+with her; she kept a sham gold watch, that is, a watch of silver
+gilt, and a purse of counters in her pocket to be ready on all
+such occasions, and I doubt not practiced it with success.
+
+I came home with this last booty to my governess, and really
+when I told her the story, it so affected her that she was hardly
+able to forbear tears, to know how such a gentleman ran a
+daily risk of being undone every time a glass of wine got into
+his head.
+
+But as to the purchase I got, and how entirely I stripped him,
+she told me it pleased her wonderfully.  'Nay child,' says she,
+'the usage may, for aught I know, do more to reform him than
+all the sermons that ever he will hear in his life.'  And if the
+remainder of the story be true, so it did.
+
+I found the next day she was wonderful inquisitive about this
+gentleman; the description I had given her of him, his dress,
+his person, his face, everything concurred to make her think
+of a gentleman whose character she knew, and family too.
+She mused a while, and I going still on with the particulars,
+she starts up; says she, 'I'll lay #100 I know the gentleman.'
+
+'I am sorry you do,' says I, 'for I would not have him exposed
+on any account in the world; he has had injury enough already
+by me, and I would not be instrumental to do him any more.'
+'No, no,' says she, 'I will do him no injury, I assure you, but
+you may let me satisfy my curiosity a little, for if it is he, I
+warrant you I find it out.'  I was a little startled at that, and
+told her, with an apparent concern in my face, that by the same
+rule he might find me out, and then I was undone.  She returned
+warmly, 'Why, do you think I will betray you, child?  No, no,'
+says she, 'not for all he is worth in the world.  I have kept your
+counsel in worse things than these; sure you may trust me in
+this.'  So I said no more at that time.
+
+She laid her scheme another way, and without acquainting me
+of it, but she was resolved to find it out if possible.  So she
+goes to a certain friend of hers who was acquainted in the
+family that she guessed at, and told her friend she had some
+extraordinary business with such a gentleman (who, by the
+way, was no less than a baronet, and of a very good family),
+and that she knew not how to come at him without somebody
+to introduce her.  Her friend promised her very readily to do
+it, and accordingly goes to the house to see if the gentleman
+was in town.
+
+The next day she come to my governess and tells her that
+Sir ---- was at home, but that he had met with a disaster and
+was very ill, and there was no speaking with him.  'What
+disaster?' says my governess hastily, as if she was surprised
+at it.  'Why,' says her friend, 'he had been at Hampstead to
+visit a gentleman of his acquaintance, and as he came back
+again he was set upon and robbed; and having got a little drink
+too, as they suppose, the rogues abused him, and he is very ill.'
+'Robbed!' says my governess, 'and what did they take from
+him?'  'Why,' says her friend, 'they took his gold watch and
+his gold snuff-box, his fine periwig, and what money he had
+in his pocket, which was considerable, to be sure, for Sir ----
+never goes without a purse of guineas about him.'
+
+'Pshaw!' says my old governess, jeering, 'I warrant you he
+has got drunk now and got a whore, and she has picked his
+pocket, and so he comes home to his wife and tells her he has
+been robbed.  That's an old sham; a thousand such tricks are
+put upon the poor women every day.'
+
+'Fie!' says her friend, 'I find you don't know Sir ----; why he
+is as civil a gentleman, there is not a finer man, nor a soberer,
+graver, modester person in the whole city; he abhors such things;
+there's nobody that knows him will think such a thing of him.'
+'Well, well,' says my governess, 'that's none of my business;
+if it was, I warrant I should find there was something of that
+kind in it; your modest men in common opinion are sometimes
+no better than other people, only they keep a better character,
+or, if you please, are the better hypocrites.'
+
+'No, no,' says her friend, 'I can assure you Sir ---- is no
+hypocrite, he is really an honest, sober gentleman, and he has
+certainly been robbed.'  'Nay,' says my governess, 'it may be
+he has; it is no business of mine, I tell you; I only want to
+speak with him; my business is of another nature.'  'But,' says
+her friend, 'let your business be of what nature it will, you
+cannot see him yet, for he is not fit to be seen, for he is very
+ill, and bruised very much,'  'Ay,' says my governess, 'nay,
+then he has fallen into bad hands, to be sure,'  And then she
+asked gravely, 'Pray, where is he bruised?'  'Why, in the head,'
+says her friend, 'and one of his hands, and his face, for they
+used him barbarously.'  'Poor gentleman,' says my governess,
+'I must wait, then, till he recovers'; and adds, 'I hope it will
+not be long, for I want very much to speak with him.'
+
+Away she comes to me and tells me this story.  'I have found
+out your fine gentleman, and a fine gentleman he was,' says
+she; 'but, mercy on him, he is in a sad pickle now.  I wonder
+what the d--l you have done to him; why, you have almost
+killed him.'  I looked at her with disorder enough.  'I killed
+him!' says I; 'you must mistake the person; I am sure I did
+nothing to him; he was very well when I left him,' said I, 'only
+drunk and fast asleep.'  'I know nothing of that,' says she,
+'but he is in a sad pickle now'; and so she told me all that her
+friend had said to her.  'Well, then,' says I, 'he fell into bad
+hands after I left him, for I am sure I left him safe enough.'
+
+About ten days after, or a little more, my governess goes again
+to her friend, to introduce her to this gentleman; she had
+inquired other ways in the meantime, and found that he was
+about again, if not abroad again, so she got leave to speak
+with him.
+
+She was a woman of a admirable address, and wanted nobody
+to introduce her; she told her tale much better than I shall be
+able to tell it for her, for she was a mistress of her tongue, as
+I have said already.  She told him that she came, though a
+stranger, with a single design of doing him a service and he
+should find she had no other end in it; that as she came purely
+on so friendly an account, she begged promise from him, that
+if he did not accept what she should officiously propose he
+would not take it ill that she meddled with what was not her
+business.  She assured him that as what she had to say was a
+secret that belonged to him only, so whether he accepted her
+offer or not, it should remain a secret to all the world, unless
+he exposed it himself; nor should his refusing her service in it
+make her so little show her respect as to do him the least injury,
+so that he should be entirely at liberty to act as he thought fit.
+
+He looked very shy at first, and said he knew nothing that
+related to him that required much secrecy; that he had never
+done any man any wrong, and cared not what anybody might
+say of him; that it was no part of his character to be unjust to
+anybody, nor could he imagine in what any man could render
+him any service; but that if it was so disinterested a service as
+she said, he could not take it ill from any one that they should
+endeavour to serve him; and so, as it were, left her a liberty
+either to tell him or not to tell, as she thought fit.
+
+She found him so perfectly indifferent, that she was almost
+afraid to enter into the point with him; but, however, after
+some other circumlocutions she told him that by a strange and
+unaccountable accident she came to have a particular knowledge
+of the late unhappy adventure he had fallen into, and that in such
+a manner, that there was nobody in the world but herself and
+him that were acquainted with it, no, not the very person that
+was with him.
+
+He looked a little angrily at first.  'What adventure?' said he.
+'Why,' said she, 'of your being robbed coming from Knightbr----;
+Hampstead, sir, I should say,' says she.  'Be not surprised, sir,'
+says she, 'that I am able to tell you every step you took that
+day from the cloister in Smithfield to the Spring Garden at
+Knightsbridge, and thence to the ---- in the Strand, and how
+you were left asleep in the coach afterwards.  I say, let not
+this surprise you, for, sir, I do not come to make a booty of
+you, I ask nothing of you, and I assure you the woman that
+was with you knows nothing who you are, and never shall;
+and yet perhaps I may serve you further still, for I did not come
+barely to let you know that I was informed of these things, as
+if I wanted a bribe to conceal them; assure yourself, sir,' said
+she, 'that whatever you think fit to do or say to me, it shall be
+all a secret as it is, as much as if I were in my grave.'
+
+He was astonished at her discourse, and said gravely to her,
+'Madam, you are a stranger to me, but it is very unfortunate
+that you should be let into the secret of the worst action of
+my life, and a thing that I am so justly ashamed of, that the
+only satisfaction of it to me was, that I thought it was known
+only to God and my own conscience.'  'Pray, sir,' says she,
+'do not reckon the discovery of it to me to be any part of your
+misfortune.  It was a thing, I believe, you were surprised into,
+and perhaps the woman used some art to prompt you to it;
+however, you will never find any just cause,' said she, 'to
+repent that I came to hear of it; nor can your own mouth be
+more silent in it that I have been, and ever shall be.'
+
+'Well,' says he, 'but let me do some justice to the woman too;
+whoever she is, I do assure you she prompted me to nothing,
+she rather declined me.  It was my own folly and madness that
+brought me into it all, ay, and brought her into it too; I must
+give her her due so far.  As to what she took from me, I could
+expect no less from her in the condition I was in, and to this
+hour I know not whether she robbed me or the coachman; if
+she did it, I forgive her, and I think all gentlemen that do so
+should be used in the same manner; but I am more concerned
+for some other things that I am for all that she took from me.'
+
+My governess now began to come into the whole matter, and
+he opened himself freely to her.  First she said to him, in answer
+to what he had said about me, 'I am glad, sir, you are so just
+to the person that you were with; I assure you she is a
+gentlewoman, and no woman of the town; and however you
+prevailed with her so far as you did, I am sure 'tis not her
+practice.  You ran a great venture indeed, sir; but if that be
+any part of your care, I am persuaded you may be perfectly
+easy, for I dare assure you no man has touched her, before
+you, since her husband, and he has been dead now almost
+eight years.'
+
+It appeared that this was his grievance, and that he was in a
+very great fright about it; however, when my governess said
+this to him, he appeared very well pleased, and said, 'Well,
+madam, to be plain with you, if I was satisfied of that, I should
+not so much value what I lost; for, as to that, the temptation
+was great, and perhaps she was poor and wanted it.'  'If she
+had not been poor, sir ----,' says my governess, 'I assure you
+she would never have yielded to you; and as her poverty first
+prevailed with her to let you do as you did, so the same poverty
+prevailed with her to pay herself at last, when she saw you
+were in such a condition, that if she had not done it, perhaps
+the next coachman might have done it.'
+
+'Well,' says he, 'much good may it do her.  I say again, all the
+gentlemen that do so ought to be used in the same manner,
+and then they would be cautious of themselves.  I have no
+more concern about it, but on the score which you hinted at
+before, madam.'  Here he entered into some freedoms with
+her on the subject of what passed between us, which are not
+so proper for a woman to write, and the great terror that was
+upon his mind with relation to his wife, for fear he should have
+received any injury from me, and should communicate if farther;
+and asked her at last if she could not procure him an opportunity
+to speak with me.  My governess gave him further assurances
+of my being a woman clear from any such thing, and that he
+was as entirely safe in that respect as he was with his own
+lady; but as for seeing me, she said it might be of dangerous
+consequence; but, however, that she would talk with me, and
+let him know my answer, using at the same time some arguments
+to persuade him not to desire it, and that it could be of no
+service to him, seeing she hoped he had no desire to renew a
+correspondence with me, and that on my account it was a kind
+of putting my life in his hands.
+
+He told her he had a great desire to see me, that he would
+give her any assurances that were in his power, not to take
+any advantages of me, and that in the first place he would give
+me a general release from all demands of any kind.  She insisted
+how it might tend to a further divulging the secret, and might
+in the end be injurious to him, entreating him not to press for
+it; so at length  he desisted.
+
+They had some discourse upon the subject of the things he had
+lost, and he seemed to be very desirous of his gold watch, and
+told her if she could procure that for him, he would willingly
+give as much for it as it was worth.  She told him she would
+endeavour to procure it for him, and leave the valuing it to
+himself.
+
+Accordingly the next day she carried the watch, and he gave
+her thirty guineas for it, which was more than I should have
+been able to make of it, though it seems it cost much more.
+He spoke something of his periwig, which it seems cost him
+threescore guineas, and his snuff-box, and in a few days more
+she carried them too; which obliged him very much, and he
+gave her thirty more.  The next day I sent him his fine sword
+and cane gratis, and demanded nothing of him, but I had no
+mind to see him, unless it had been so that he might be satisfied
+I knew who he was, which he was not willing to.
+
+Then he entered into a long talk with her of the manner how
+she came to know all this matter.  She formed a long tale of
+that part; how she had it from one that I had told the whole
+story to, and that was to help me dispose of the goods; and
+this confidante brought the things to her, she being by profession
+a pawnbroker; and she hearing of his worship's disaster, guessed
+at the thing in general; that having gotten the things into her
+hands, she had resolved to come and try as she had done.  She
+then gave him repeated assurances that it should never go out
+of her mouth, and though she knew the woman very well, yet
+she had not let her know, meaning me, anything of it; that is
+to say, who the person was, which, by the way, was false; but,
+however, it was not to his damage, for I never opened my
+mouth of it to anybody.
+
+I had a great many thoughts in my head about my seeing him
+again, and was often sorry that I had refused it.  I was persuaded
+that if I had seen him, and let him know that I knew him, I
+should have made some advantage of him, and perhaps have
+had some maintenance from him; and though it was a life
+wicked enough, yet it was not so full of danger as this I was
+engaged in.  However, those thoughts wore off, and I declined
+seeing him again, for that time; but my governess saw him
+often, and he was very kind to her, giving her something almost
+every time he saw her.  One time in particular she found him
+very merry, and as she thought he had some wine in his head,
+and he pressed her again very earnestly to let him see that
+woman that, as he said, had bewitched him so that night, my
+governess, who was from the beginning for my seeing him,
+told him he was so desirous of it that she could almost yield
+of it, if she could prevail upon me; adding that if he would
+please to come to her house in the evening, she would
+endeavour it, upon his repeated assurances of forgetting what
+was past.
+
+Accordingly she came to me, and told me all the discourse;
+in short, she soon biassed me to consent, in a case which I had
+some regret in my mind for declining before; so I prepared to
+see him.  I dressed me to all the advantage possible, I assure
+you, and for the first time used a little art; I say for the first
+time, for I had never yielded to the baseness of paint before,
+having always had vanity enough to believe I had no need of it.
+
+At the hour appointed he came; and as she observed before,
+so it was plain still, that he had been drinking, though very far
+from what we call being in drink.  He appeared exceeding
+pleased to see me, and entered into a long discourse with me
+upon the old affair.  I begged his pardon very often for my
+share of it, protested I had not any such design when first I
+met him, that I had not gone out with him but that I took him
+for a very civil gentleman, and that he made me so many
+promises of offering no uncivility to me.
+
+He alleged the wine he drank, and that he scarce knew what
+he did, and that if it had not been so, I should never have let
+him take the freedom with me that he had done.  He protested
+to me that he never touched any woman but me since he was
+married to his wife, and it was a surprise upon him; complimented
+me upon being so particularly agreeable to him, and the like;
+and talked so much of that kind, till I found he had talked
+himself almost into a temper to do the same thing over again.
+But I took him up short.  I protested I had never suffered any
+man to touch me since my husband died, which was near eight
+years.  He said he believed it to be so truly; and added that
+madam had intimated as much to him, and that it was his
+opinion of that part which made his desire to see me again; and
+that since he had once broke in upon his virtue with me, and
+found no ill consequences, he could be safe in venturing there
+again; and so, in short, it went on to what I expected, and to
+what will not bear relating.
+
+My old governess had foreseen it, as well as I, and therefore
+led him into a room which had not a bed in it, and yet had a
+chamber within it which had a bed, whither we withdrew for
+the rest of the night; and, in short, after some time being
+together, he went to bed, and lay there all night.  I withdrew,
+but came again undressed in the morning, before it was day,
+and lay with him the rest of the time.
+
+Thus, you see, having committed a crime once is a sad handle
+to the committing of it again; whereas all the regret and
+reflections wear off when the temptation renews itself.  Had
+I not yielded to see him again, the corrupt desire in him had
+worn off, and 'tis very probable he had never fallen into it
+with anybody else, as I really believe he had not done before.
+
+When he went away, I told him I hoped he was satisfied he
+had not been robbed again.  He told me he was satisfied in
+that point, and could trust me again, and putting his hand in
+his pocket, gave me five guineas, which was the first money
+I had gained that way for many years.
+
+I had several visits of the like kind from him, but he never
+came into a settled way of maintenance, which was what I
+would have best pleased with.  Once, indeed, he asked me
+how I did to live.  I answered him pretty quick, that I assured
+him I had never taken that course that I took with him, but
+that indeed I worked at my needle, and could just maintain
+myself; that sometime it was as much as I was able to do, and
+I shifted hard enough.
+
+He seemed to reflect upon himself that he should be the first
+person to lead me into that, which he assured me he never
+intended to do himself; and it touched him a little, he said,
+that he should be the cause of his own sin and mine too.  He
+would often make just reflections also upon the crime itself,
+and upon the particular circumstances of it with respect to
+himself; how wine introduced the inclinations how the devil
+led him to the place, and found out an object to tempt him,
+and he made the moral always himself.
+
+When these thoughts were upon him he would go away, and
+perhaps not come again in a month's time or longer; but then
+as the serious part wore off, the lewd part would wear in, and
+then he came prepared for the wicked part.  Thus we lived for
+some time; thought he did not keep, as they call it, yet he
+never failed doing things that were handsome, and sufficient
+to maintain me without working, and, which was better,
+without following my old trade.
+
+But this affair had its end too; for after about a year, I found
+that he did not come so often as usual, and at last he left if
+off altogether without any dislike to bidding adieu; and so
+there was an end of that short scene of life, which added no
+great store to me, only to make more work for repentance.
+
+However, during this interval I confined myself pretty much
+at home; at least, being thus provided for, I made no adventures,
+no, not for a quarter of a year after he left me; but then finding
+the fund fail, and being loth to spend upon the main stock, I
+began to think of my old trade, and to look abroad into the
+street again; and my first step was lucky enough.
+
+I had dressed myself up in a very mean habit, for as I had
+several shapes to appear in, I was now in an ordinary stuff-gown,
+a blue apron, and a straw hat and I placed myself at the door
+of the Three Cups Inn in St. John Street.  There were several
+carriers used the inn, and the stage-coaches for Barnet, for
+Totteridge, and other towns that way stood always in the street
+in the evening, when they prepared to set out, so that I was
+ready for anything that offered, for either one or other.  The
+meaning was this; people come frequently with bundles and
+small parcels to those inns, and call for such carriers or coaches
+as they want, to carry them into the country; and there generally
+attend women, porters' wives or daughters, ready to take in
+such things for their respective people that employ them.
+
+It happened very oddly that I was standing at the inn gate, and
+a woman that had stood there before, and which was the
+porter's wife belonging to the Barnet stage-coach, having
+observed me, asked if I waited for any of the coaches.  I told
+her Yes, I waited for my mistress, that was coming to go to
+Barnet.  She asked me who was my mistress, and I told her
+any madam's name that came next me; but as it seemed, I
+happened upon a name, a family of which name lived at
+Hadley, just beyond Barnet.
+
+I said no more to her, or she to me, a good while; but by and
+by, somebody calling her at a door a little way off, she desired
+me that if anybody called for the Barnet coach, I would step
+and call her at the house, which it seems was an alehouse.  I
+said Yes, very readily, and away she went.
+
+She was no sooner gone but comes a wench and a child, puffing
+and sweating, and asks for the Barnet coach.  I answered
+presently, 'Here.'  'Do you belong to the Barnet coach?' says
+she.  'Yes, sweetheart,' said I; 'what do ye want?'  'I want
+room for two passengers,' says she.  'Where are they, sweetheart?'
+said I.  'Here's this girl, pray let her go into the coach,' says
+she, 'and I'll go and fetch my mistress.'  'Make haste, then,
+sweetheart,' says I, 'for we may be full else.'  The maid had
+a great bundle under her arm; so she put the child into the
+coach, and I said, 'You had best put your bundle into the coach
+too.'  'No,' says she, 'I am afraid somebody should slip it away
+from the child.'  'Give to me, then,' said I, 'and I'll take care
+of it.'  'Do, then,' says she, 'and be sure you take of it.'  'I'll
+answer for it,' said I, 'if it were for #20 value.'  'There, take
+it, then,' says she, and away she goes.
+
+As soon as I had got the bundle, and the maid was out of sight,
+I goes on towards the alehouse, where the porter's wife was,
+so that if I had met her, I had then only been going to give her
+the bundle, and to call her to her business, as if I was going
+away, and could stay no longer; but as I did not meet her, I
+walked away, and turning into Charterhouse Lane, then
+crossed into Batholomew Close, so into Little Britain, and
+through the Bluecoat Hospital, into Newgate Street.
+
+To prevent my being known, I pulled off my blue apron, and
+wrapped the bundle in it, which before was made up in a piece
+of painted calico, and very remarkable; I also wrapped up my
+straw hat in it, and so put the bundle upon my head; and it was
+very well that I did thus, for coming through the Bluecoat
+Hospital, who should I meet but the wench that had given me
+the bundle to hold.  It seems she was going with her mistress,
+whom she had been gone to fetch, to the Barnet coaches.
+
+I saw she was in haste, and I had no business to stop her; so
+away she went, and I brought my bundle safe home to my
+governess.  There was no money, nor plate, or jewels in the
+bundle, but a very good suit of Indian damask, a gown and a
+petticoat, a laced-head and ruffles of very good Flanders lace,
+and some linen and other things, such as I knew very well the
+value of.
+
+This was not indeed my own invention, but was given me by
+one that had practised it with success, and my governess liked
+it extremely; and indeed I tried it again several times, though
+never twice near the same place; for the next time I tried it in
+White Chapel, just by the corner of Petticoat Lane, where the
+coaches stand that go out to Stratford and Bow, and that side
+of the country, and another time at the Flying Horse, without
+Bishopgate, where the Cheston coaches then lay; and I had
+always the good luck to come off with some booty.
+
+Another time I placed myself at a warehouse by the waterside,
+where the coasting vessels from the north come, such as from
+Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Sunderland, and other places.  Here,
+the warehouses being shut, comes a young fellow with a letter;
+and he wanted a box and a hamper that was come from
+Newcastle-upon-Tyne.  I asked him if he had the marks of it;
+so he shows me the letter, by virtue of which he was to ask
+for it, and which gave an account of the contents, the box
+being full of linen, and the hamper full of glass ware.  I read
+the letter, and took care to see the name, and the marks, the
+name of the person that sent the goods, the name of the person
+that they were sent to; then I bade the messenger come in the
+morning, for that the warehouse-keeper would not be there
+any more that night.
+
+Away went I, and getting materials in a public house, I wrote
+a letter from Mr. John Richardson of Newcastle to his dear
+cousin Jemmy Cole, in London, with an account that he sent
+by such a vessel (for I remembered all the particulars to a title),
+so many pieces of huckaback linen, so many ells of Dutch
+holland and the like, in a box, and a hamper of flint glasses
+from Mr. Henzill's glasshouse; and that the box was marked
+I. C. No. 1, and the hamper was directed by a label on the
+cording.
+
+About an hour after, I came to the warehouse, found the
+warehouse-keeper, and had the goods delivered me without
+any scruple; the value of the linen being about #22.
+
+I could fill up this whole discourse with the variety of such
+adventures, which daily invention directed to, and which I
+managed with the utmost dexterity, and always with success.
+
+At length--as when does the pitcher come safe home that goes
+so very often to the well?--I fell into some small broils, which
+though they could not affect me fatally, yet made me known,
+which was the worst thing next to being found guilty that
+could befall me.
+
+I had taken up the disguise of a widow's dress; it was without
+any real design in view, but only waiting for anything that
+might offer, as I often did.  It happened that while I was going
+along the street in Covent Garden, there was a great cry of
+'Stop thief!  Stop thief!'  some artists had, it seems, put a trick
+upon a shopkeeper, and being pursued, some of them fled
+one way, and some another; and one of them was, they said,
+dressed up in widow's weeds, upon which the mob gathered
+about me, and some said I was the person, others said no.
+Immediately came the mercer's journeyman, and he swore
+aloud I was the person, and so seized on me.  However, when
+I was brought back by the mob to the mercer's shop, the
+master of the house said freely that I was not the woman that
+was in his shop, and would have let me go immediately; but
+another fellow said gravely, 'Pray stay till Mr. ----' (meaning
+the journeyman) 'comes back, for he knows her.'  So they
+kept me by force near half an hour.  They had called a constable,
+and he stood in the shop as my jailer; and in talking with the
+constable I inquired where he lived, and what trade he was;
+the man not apprehending in the least what happened afterwards,
+readily told me his name, and trade, and where he lived; and
+told me as a jest, that I might be sure to hear of his name when
+I came to the Old Bailey.
+
+Some of the servants likewise used me saucily, and had much
+ado to keep their hands off me; the master indeed was civiller
+to me than they, but he would not yet let me go, though he
+owned he could not say I was in his shop before.
+
+I began to be a little surly with him, and told him I hoped he
+would not take it ill if I made myself amends upon him in a
+more legal way another time; and desired I might send for
+friends to see me have right done me.  No, he said, he could
+give no such liberty; I might ask it when I came before the
+justice of peace; and seeing I threatened him, he would take
+care of me in the meantime, and would lodge me safe in
+Newgate.  I told him it was his time now, but it would be
+mine by and by, and governed my passion as well as I was able.
+However, I spoke to the constable to call me a porter, which
+he did, and then I called for pen, ink, and paper, but they
+would let me have none.  I asked the porter his name, and
+where he lived, and the poor man told it me very willingly.
+I bade him observe and remember how I was treated there;
+that he saw I was detained there by force.  I told him I should
+want his evidence in another place, and it should not be the
+worse for him to speak.  The porter said he would serve me
+with all his heart.  'But, madam,' says he, 'let me hear them
+refuse to let you go, then I may be able to speak the plainer.'
+
+With that I spoke aloud to the master of the shop, and said,
+'Sir, you know in your own conscience that I am not the
+person you look for, and that I was not in your shop before,
+therefore I demand that you detain me here no longer, or tell
+me the reason of your stopping me.'  The fellow grew surlier
+upon this than before, and said he would do neither till he
+thought fit.  'Very well,' said I to the constable and to the
+porter; 'you will be pleased to remember this, gentlemen,
+another time.'  The porter said, 'Yes, madam'; and the
+constable began not to like it, and would have persuaded the
+mercer to dismiss him, and let me go, since, as he said, he
+owned I was not the person.  'Good, sir,' says the mercer to
+him tauntingly, 'are you a justice of peace or a constable?  I
+charged you with her; pray do you do your duty.'  The constable
+told him, a little moved, but very handsomely, 'I know my
+duty, and what I am, sir; I doubt you hardly know what you
+are doing.'  They had some other hard words, and in the
+meantime the journeyman, impudent and unmanly to the last
+degree, used me barbarously, and one of them, the same that
+first seized upon me, pretended he would search me, and began
+to lay hands on me.  I spit in his face, called out to the constable,
+and bade him to take notice of my usage.  'And pray, Mr.
+Constable,' said I, 'ask that villain's name,' pointing to the
+man.  The constable reproved him decently, told him that he
+did not know what he did, for he knew that his master
+acknowledged I was not the person that was in his shop; 'and,'
+says the constable, 'I am afraid your master is bringing himself,
+and me too, into trouble, if this gentlewoman comes to prove
+who she is, and where she was, and it appears that she is not
+the woman you pretend to.'  'Damn her,' says the fellow again,
+with a impudent, hardened face, 'she is the lady, you may depend
+upon it; I'll swear she is the same body that was in the shop,
+and that I gave the pieces of satin that is lost into her own hand.
+You shall hear more of it when Mr. William and Mr. Anthony
+(those  were other journeymen) come back; they will know her
+again as well as I.'
+
+Just as the insolent rogue was talking thus to the constable,
+comes back Mr. William and Mr. Anthony, as he called them,
+and a great rabble with them, bringing along with them the
+true widow that I was pretended to be; and they came sweating
+and blowing into the shop, and with a great deal of triumph,
+dragging the poor creature in the most butcherly manner up
+towards their master, who was in the back shop, and cried
+out aloud, 'Here's the widow, sir; we have catcher her at last.'
+'What do ye mean by that?' says the master.  'Why, we have
+her already; there she sits,' says he, 'and Mr. ----,' says he,
+'can swear this is she.'  The other man, whom they called Mr.
+Anthony, replied, 'Mr. ---- may say what he will, and swear
+what he will, but this is the woman, and there's the remnant
+of satin she stole; I took it out of her clothes with my own hand.'
+
+I sat still now, and began to take a better heart, but smiled and
+said nothing; the master looked pale; the constable turned
+about and looked at me.  'Let 'em alone, Mr. Constable,' said
+I; 'let 'em go on.'  The case was plain and could not be denied,
+so the constable was charged with the right thief, and the
+mercer told me very civilly he was sorry for the mistake, and
+hoped I would not take it ill; that they had so many things of
+this nature put upon them every day, that they could not be
+blamed for being very sharp in doing themselves justice.  'Not
+take it ill, sir!' said I; 'how can I take it well!  If you had
+dismissed me when your insolent fellow seized on me it the
+street, and brought me to you, and when you yourself
+acknowledged I was not the person, I would have put it by,
+and not taken it ill, because of the many ill things I believe
+you have put upon you daily; but your treatment of me since
+has been insufferable, and especially that of your servant; I
+must and will have reparation for that.'
+
+Then he began to parley with me, said he would make me any
+reasonable satisfaction, and would fain have had me tell him
+what it was I expected.  I told him that I should not be my
+own judge, the law should decide it for me; and as I was to be
+carried before a magistrate, I should let him hear there what
+I had to say.  He told me there was no occasion to go before
+the justice now, I was at liberty to go where I pleased; and so,
+calling to the constable, told him he might let me go, for I
+was discharged.  The constable said calmly to him, 'sir, you
+asked me just now if I knew whether I was a constable or
+justice, and bade me do my duty, and charged me with this
+gentlewoman as a prisoner.  Now, sir, I find you do not
+understand what is my duty, for you would make me a justice
+indeed; but I must tell you it is not in my power.  I may keep
+a prisoner when I am charged with him, but 'tis the law and
+the magistrate alone that can discharge that prisoner; therefore
+'tis a mistake, sir; I must carry her before a justice now,
+whether you think well of it or not.'  The mercer was very
+high with the constable at first; but the constable happening
+to be not a hired officer, but a good, substantial kind of man
+(I think he was a corn-handler), and a man of good sense,
+stood to his business, would not discharge me without going
+to a justice of the peace; and I insisted upon it too.  When the
+mercer saw that, 'Well,' says he to the constable, 'you may
+carry her where you please; I have nothing to say to her.'
+'But, sir,' says the constable, 'you will go with us, I hope, for
+'tis you that charged me with her.'  'No, not I,' says the
+mercer; 'I tell you I have nothing to say to her.'  'But pray, sir,
+do,' says the constable; 'I desire it of you for your own sake,
+for the justice  can do nothing without you.'  'Prithee, fellow,'
+says the mercer, 'go about your business; I tell you I have
+nothing to say to the gentlewoman.  I charge you in the king's
+name to dismiss her.'  'Sir,' says the constable, 'I find you
+don't know what it is to be constable; I beg of you don't oblige
+me to be rude to you.'  'I think I need not; you are rude enough
+already,' says the mercer.  'No, sir,' says the constable, 'I am
+not rude; you have broken the peace in bringing an honest
+woman out of the street, when she was about her lawful
+occasion, confining her in your shop, and ill-using her here
+by your servants; and now can you say I am rude to you?  I
+think I am civil to you in not commanding or charging you in
+the king's name to go with me, and charging every man I see
+that passes your door to aid and assist me in carrying you by
+force; this you cannot but know I have power to do, and yet I
+forbear it, and once more entreat you to go with me.'  Well, he
+would not for all this, and gave the constable ill language.
+However, the constable kept his temper, and would not be
+provoked; and then I put in and said, 'Come, Mr. Constable,
+let him alone; I shall find ways enough to fetch him before a
+magistrate, I don't fear that; but there's the fellow,' says I,
+'he was the man that seized on me as I was innocently going
+along the street, and you are a witness of the violence with
+me since; give me leave to charge you with him, and carry
+him before the justice.'  'Yes, madam,' says the constable;
+and turning to the fellow 'Come, young gentleman,' says he
+to the journeyman, 'you must go along with us; I hope you
+are not above the constable's power, though your master is.'
+
+The fellow looked like a condemned thief, and hung back,
+then looked at his master, as if he could help him; and he, like
+a fool, encourage the fellow to be rude, and he truly resisted
+the constable, and pushed him back with a good force when
+he went to lay hold on him, at which the constable knocked
+him down, and called out for help; and immediately the shop
+was filled with people, and the constable seized the master
+and man, and all his servants.
+
+This first ill consequence of this fray was, that the woman
+they had taken, who was really the thief, made off, and got
+clear away in the crowd; and two other that they had stopped
+also; whether they were really guilty or not, that I can say
+nothing to.
+
+By this time some of his neighbours having come in, and,
+upon inquiry, seeing how things went, had endeavoured to
+bring the hot-brained mercer to his senses, and he began to
+be convinced that he was in the wrong; and so at length we
+went all very quietly before the justice, with a mob of about
+five hundred people at our heels; and all the way I went I
+could hear the people ask what was the matter, and other reply
+and say, a mercer had stopped a gentlewoman instead of a
+thief, and had afterwards taken the thief, and now the
+gentlewoman had taken the mercer, and was carrying him
+before the justice.  This pleased the people strangely, and
+made the crowd increase, and they cried out as they went,
+'Which is the rogue?  which is the mercer?'  and  especially
+the women.  Then when they saw him they cried out, 'That's
+he, that's he'; and every now and then came a good dab of
+dirt at him; and thus we marched a good while, till the mercer
+thought fit to desire the constable to call a coach to protect
+himself from the rabble; so we rode the rest of the way, the
+constable and I, and the mercer and his man.
+
+When we came to the justice, which was an ancient gentleman
+in Bloomsbury, the constable giving first a summary account
+of the matter, the justice bade me speak, and tell what I had
+to say.  And first he asked my name, which I was very loth to
+give, but there was no remedy, so I told him my name was
+Mary Flanders, that I was a widow, my husband being a sea
+captain, died on a voyage to Virginia; and some other
+circumstances I told which he could never contradict, and
+that I lodged at present in town with such a person, naming
+my governess; but that I was preparing to go over to America,
+where my husband's effects lay, and that I was going that day
+to buy some clothes to put myself into second mourning, but
+had not yet been in any shop, when that fellow, pointing to
+the mercer's journeyman, came rushing upon me with such
+fury as very much frighted me, and carried me back to his
+master's shop, where, though his master acknowledged I was
+not the person, yet he would not dismiss me, but charged a
+constable with me.
+
+Then I proceeded to tell how the journeyman treated me; how
+they would not suffer me to send for any of my friends; how
+afterwards they found the real thief, and took the very goods
+they had lost upon her, and all the particulars as before.
+
+Then the constable related his case:  his dialogue with the
+mercer about discharging me, and at last his servant's refusing
+to go with him, when he had charged him with him, and his
+master encouraging him to do so, and at last his striking the
+constable, and the like, all as I have told it already.
+
+The justice then heard the mercer and his man.  The mercer
+indeed made a long harangue of the great loss they have daily
+by lifters and thieves; that it was easy for them to mistake,
+and that when he found it he would have dismissed me, etc.,
+as above.  As to the journeyman, he had very little to say, but
+that he pretended other of the servants told him that I was
+really the person.
+
+Upon the whole, the justice first of all told me very courteously
+I was discharged; that he was very sorry that the mercer's man
+should in his eager pursuit have so little discretion as to take
+up an innocent person for a guilty person; that if he had not
+been so unjust as to detain me afterward, he believed I would
+have forgiven the first affront; that, however, it was not in his
+power to award me any reparation for anything, other than by
+openly reproving them, which he should do; but he supposed
+I would apply to such methods as the law directed; in the
+meantime he would bind him over.
+
+But as to the breach of the peace committed by the journeyman,
+he told me he should give me some satisfaction for that, for he
+should commit him to Newgate for assaulting the constable,
+and for assaulting me also.
+
+Accordingly he sent the fellow to Newgate for that assault,
+and his master gave bail, and so we came away; but I had the
+satisfaction of seeing the mob wait upon them both, as they
+came out, hallooing and throwing stones and dirt at the coaches
+they rode in; and so I came home to my governess.
+
+After this hustle, coming home and telling my governess the
+story, she falls a-laughing at me.  'Why are you merry?' says
+I; 'the story has not so much laughing room in it as you imagine;
+I am sure I have had a great deal of hurry and fright too, with
+a pack of ugly rogues.'  'Laugh!' says my governess; 'I laugh,
+child, to see what a lucky creature you are; why, this job will
+be the best bargain to you that ever you made in your life, if
+you manage it well.  I warrant you,' says she, 'you shall make
+the mercer pay you #500 for damages, besides what you shall
+get out of the journeyman.'
+
+I had other thoughts of the matter than she had; and especially,
+because I had given in my name to the justice of peace; and
+I knew that my name was so well known among the people
+at Hick's Hall, the Old Bailey, and such places, that if this
+cause came to be tried openly, and my name came to be inquired
+into, no court would give much damages, for the reputation
+of a person of such a character.  However, I was obliged to
+begin a prosecution in form, and accordingly my governess
+found me out a very creditable sort of a man to manage it,
+being an attorney of very good business, and of a good
+reputation, and she was certainly in the right of this; for had
+she employed a pettifogging hedge solicitor, or a man not
+known, and not in good reputation, I should have brought it
+to but little.
+
+I met this attorney, and gave him all the particulars at large,
+as they are recited above; and he assured me it was a case, as
+he said, that would very well support itself, and that he did
+not question but that a jury would give very considerable
+damages on such an occasion; so taking his full instructions
+he began the prosecution, and the mercer being arrested, gave
+bail.  A few days after his giving bail, he comes with his
+attorney to my attorney, to let him know that he desired to
+accommodate the matter; that it was all carried on in the heat
+of an unhappy passion; that his client, meaning me, had a
+sharp provoking tongue, that I used them ill, gibing at them,
+and jeering them, even while they believed me to be the very
+person, and that I had provoked them, and the like.
+
+My attorney managed as well on my side; made them believe
+ I was a widow of fortune, that I was able to do myself justice,
+and had great friends to stand by me too, who had all made me
+promise to sue to the utmost, and that if it cost me a thousand
+pounds I would be sure to have satisfaction, for that the affronts
+I had received were insufferable.
+
+However, they brought my attorney to this, that he promised
+he would not blow the coals, that if I inclined to accommodation,
+he would not hinder me, and that he would rather persuade
+me to peace than to war; for which they told him he should
+be no loser; all which he told me very honestly, and told me
+that if they offered him any bribe, I should certainly know it;
+but upon the whole he told me very honestly that if I would
+take his opinion, he would advise me to make it up with them,
+for that as they were in a great fright, and were desirous above
+all things to make it up, and knew that, let it be what it would,
+they would be allotted to bear all the costs of the suit; he believed
+they would give me freely more than any jury or court of justice
+would give upon a trial.  I asked him what he thought they
+would be brought to.  He told me he could not tell as to that,
+but he would tell me more when I saw him again.  Some time
+after this, they came again to know if he had talked with me.
+He told them he had; that he found me not so averse to an
+accommodation as some of my friends were, who resented the
+disgrace offered me, and set me on; that they blowed the coals
+in secret, prompting me to revenge, or do myself justice, as
+they called it; so that he could not tell what to say to it; he told
+them he would do his endeavour to persuade me, but he ought
+to be able to tell me what proposal they made.  They pretended
+they could not make any proposal, because it might be made
+use of against them; and he told them, that by the same rule
+he could not make any offers, for that might be pleaded in
+abatement of what damages a jury might be inclined to give.
+However, after some discourse and mutual promises that no
+advantage should be taken on either side, by what was
+transacted then or at any other of those meetings, they came
+to a kind of a treaty; but so remote, and so wide from one
+another, that nothing could be expected from it; for my
+attorney demanded #500 and charges, and they offered #50
+without charges; so they broke off, and the mercer proposed
+to have a meeting with me myself; and my attorney agreed to
+that very readily.
+
+My attorney gave me notice to come to this meeting in good
+clothes, and with some state, that the mercer might see I was
+something more than I seemed to be that time they had me.
+Accordingly I came in a new suit of second mourning, according
+to what I had said at the justice's.  I set myself out, too, as well
+as a widow's dress in second mourning would admit; my
+governess also furnished me with a good pearl necklace, that
+shut in behind with a locket of diamonds, which she had in
+pawn; and I had a very good figure; and as I stayed till I was
+sure they were come, I came in a coach to the door, with my
+maid with me.
+
+When I came into the room the mercer was surprised.  He
+stood up and made his bow, which I took a little notice of,
+and but a little, and went and sat down where my own attorney
+had pointed to me to sit, for it was his house.  After a little
+while the mercer said, he did not know me again, and began
+to make some compliments his way.  I told him, I believed he
+did not know me at first, and that if he had, I believed he
+would not have treated me as he did.
+
+He told me he was very sorry for what had happened, and that
+it was to testify the willingness he had to make all possible
+reparation that he had appointed this meeting; that he hoped
+I would not carry things to extremity, which might be not only
+too great a loss to him, but might be the ruin of his business
+and shop, in which case I might have the satisfaction of
+repaying an injury with an injury ten times greater; but that I
+would then get nothing, whereas he was willing to do me any
+justice that was in his power, without putting himself or me
+to the trouble or charge of a suit at law.
+
+I told him I was glad to hear him talk so much more like a man
+of sense than he did before; that it was true, acknowledgment
+in most cases of  affronts was counted reparation sufficient;
+but this had gone too far to be made up so; that I was not
+revengeful, nor did I seek his ruin, or any man's else, but that
+all my friends were unanimous not to let me so far neglect my
+character as to adjust a thing of this kind without a sufficient
+reparation of honour; that to be taken up for a thief was such
+an indignity as could not be put up; that my character was
+above being treated so by any that knew me, but because in
+my condition of a widow I had been for some time careless
+of  myself, and negligent of myself, I might be taken for such
+a creature, but that for the particular usage I had from him
+afterwards, *--and then I repeated all as before; it was so
+provoking I had scarce patience to repeat it.
+
+Well, he acknowledged all, and was might humble indeed;
+he made proposals very handsome; he came up to #100 and
+to pay all the law charges, and added that he would make me
+a present of a very good suit of clothes.  I came down to #300,
+and I demanded that I should publish an advertisement of the
+particulars in the common newspapers.
+
+This was a clause he never could comply with.  However, at
+last he came up, by good management of my attorney, to
+#150 and a suit of black silk clothes; and there I agree, and as
+it were, at my attorney's request, complied with it, he paying
+my attorney's bill and charges, and gave us a good supper into
+the bargain.
+
+
+When I came to receive the money, I brought my governess
+with me, dressed like an old duchess, and a gentleman very
+well dressed, who we pretended courted me, but I called him
+cousin, and the lawyer was only to hint privately to him that
+his gentleman courted the widow.
+
+He treated us handsomely indeed, and paid the money
+cheerfully enough; so that it cost him #200 in all, or rather
+more.  At our last meeting, when all was agreed, the case of
+the journeyman came up, and the mercer begged very hard
+for him; told me he was a man that had kept a shop of his
+own, and been in good business, had a wife, and several
+children, and was very poor; that he had nothing to make
+satisfaction with, but he should come to beg my pardon on
+his knees, if I desired it, as openly as I pleased.  I had no
+spleen at the saucy rogue, nor were his submissions anything
+to me, since there was nothing to be got by him, so I thought
+it was as good to throw that in generously as not; so I told
+him I did not desire the ruin of any man, and therefore at his
+request I would forgive the wretch; it was below me to seek
+any revenge.
+
+When we were at supper he brought the poor fellow in to
+make acknowledgment, which he would have done with as
+much mean humility as his offence was with insulting
+haughtiness and pride, in which he was an instance of a
+complete baseness of spirit, impious, cruel, and relentless
+when uppermost and in prosperity, abject and low-spirited
+when down in affliction.  However, I abated his cringes, told
+him I forgave him, and desired he might withdraw, as if I did
+not care for the sight of him, though I had forgiven him.
+
+I was now in good circumstances indeed, if I could have
+known my time for leaving off, and my governess often said
+I was the richest of the trade in England; and so I believe I
+was, for I had #700 by me in money, besides clothes, rings,
+some plate, and two gold watches, and all of them stolen, for
+I had innumerable jobs besides these I have mentioned.  Oh!
+had I even now had the grace of  repentance, I had still leisure
+to have looked back upon my follies, and have made some
+reparation; but the satisfaction I was to make for the public
+mischiefs I had done was yet left behind; and I could not forbear
+going abroad again, as I called it now, than any more I could
+when my extremity really drove me out for bread.
+
+It was not long after the affair with the mercer was made up,
+that I went out in an equipage quite different from any I had
+ever appeared in before.  I dressed myself like a beggar woman,
+in the coarsest and most despicable rags I could get, and I
+walked about peering and peeping into every door and window
+I came near; and indeed I was in such a plight now that I knew
+as ill how to behave in as ever I did in any.  I naturally abhorred
+dirt and rags; I had been bred up tight and cleanly, and could
+be no other, whatever condition I was in; so that this was the
+most uneasy disguise to me that ever I put on.  I said presently
+to myself that this would not do, for this was a dress that
+everybody was shy and afraid of; and I thought everybody
+looked at me, as if they were afraid I should come near them,
+lest I should take something from them, or afraid to come near
+me, lest they should get something from me.  I wandered about
+all the evening the first time I went out, and made nothing of
+it, but came home again wet, draggled, and tired.  However,
+I went out again the next night, and then I met with a little
+adventure, which had like to have cost me dear.  As I was
+standing near a tavern door, there comes a gentleman on
+horseback, and lights at the door, and wanting to go into the
+tavern, he calls one of the drawers to hold his horse.  He stayed
+pretty long in the tavern, and the drawer heard his master call,
+and thought he would be angry with him.  Seeing me stand by
+him, he called to me, 'Here, woman,' says he, 'hold this horse
+a while, till I go in; if the gentleman comes, he'll give you
+something.'  'Yes,' says I, and takes the horse, and walks off
+with him very soberly, and carried him to my governess.
+
+This had been a booty to those that had understood it; but
+never was poor thief more at a loss to know what to do with
+anything that was stolen; for when I came home, my governess
+was quite confounded, and what to do with the creature, we
+neither of us knew.  To send him to a stable was doing nothing,
+for it was certain that public notice would be given in the
+Gazette, and the horse described, so that we durst not go to
+fetch it again.
+
+All the remedy we had for this unlucky adventure was to go
+and set up the horse at an inn, and send a note by a porter to
+the tavern, that the gentleman's horse that was lost such a time
+was left at such an inn, and that he might be had there; that
+the poor woman that held him, having led him about the street,
+not being able to lead him back again, had left him there.  We
+might have waited till the owner had published and offered a
+reward, but we did not care to venture the receiving the reward.
+
+So this was a robbery and no robbery, for little was lost by it,
+and nothing was got by it, and I was quite sick of going out in
+a beggar's dress; it did not answer at all, and besides, I thought
+it was ominous and threatening.
+
+While I was in this disguise, I fell in with a parcel of folks of
+a worse kind than any I ever sorted with, and I saw a little into
+their ways too.  These were coiners of money, and they made
+some very good offers to me, as to profit; but the part they
+would have had me have embarked in was the most dangerous
+part.  I mean that of the very working the die, as they call it,
+which, had I been taken, had been certain death, and that at a
+stake--I say, to be burnt to death at a stake; so that though I
+was to appearance but a beggar, and they promised mountains
+of gold and silver to me to engage, yet it would not do.  It is
+true, if I had been really a beggar, or had been desperate as
+when I began, I might perhaps have closed with it; for what
+care they to die that can't tell how to live?  But at present
+this was not my condition, at least I was for no such terrible
+risks as those; besides, the very thoughts of being burnt at a
+stake struck terror into my very soul, chilled my blood, and
+gave me the vapours to such a degree, as I could not think
+of it without trembling.
+
+This put an end to my disguise too, for as I did not like the
+proposal, so I did not tell them so, but seemed to relish it, and
+promised to meet again.  But I durst see them no more; for if I
+had seen them, and not complied, though I had declined it with
+the greatest assurance of secrecy in the world, they would have
+gone near to have murdered me, to make sure work, and make
+themselves easy, as they call it.  What kind of easiness that is,
+they may best judge that understand how easy men are that
+can murder people to prevent danger.
+
+This and horse-stealing were things quite out of my way, and
+I might easily resolve I would have to more to say to them; my
+business seemed to lie another way, and though it had hazard
+enough in it too, yet it was more suitable to me, and what had
+more of art in it, and more room to escape, and more chances
+for a-coming off if a surprise should happen.
+
+I had several proposals made also to me about that time, to
+come into a gang of house-breakers; but that was a thing I had
+no mind to venture at neither, any more than I had at the
+coining trade.  I offered to go along with two men and a
+woman, that made it their business to get into houses by
+stratagem, and with them I was willing enough to venture.
+But there were three of them already, and they did not care
+to part, nor I to have too many in a gang, so I did not close
+with them, but declined them, and they paid dear for their
+next attempt.
+
+But at length I met with a woman that had often told me what
+adventures she had made, and with success, at the waterside,
+and I closed with her, and we drove on our business pretty
+well.  One day we came among some Dutch people at St.
+Catherine's, where we went on pretence to buy goods that
+were privately got on shore.  I was two or three times in a
+house where we saw a good quantity of prohibited goods,
+and my companion once brought away three pieces of Dutch
+black silk that turned to good account, and I had my share of
+it; but in all the journeys I made by myself, I could not get an
+opportunity to do anything, so I laid it aside, for I had been so
+often, that they began to suspect something, and were so shy,
+that I saw nothing was to be done.
+
+This baulked me a little, and I resolved to push at something
+or other, for I was not used to come back so often without
+purchase; so the next day I dressed myself up fine, and took
+a walk to the other end of the town.  I passed through the
+Exchange in the Strand, but had no notion of finding anything
+to do there, when on a sudden I saw a great cluttering in the
+place, and all the people, shopkeepers as well as others,
+standing up and staring; and what should it be but some great
+duchess come into the Exchange, and they said the queen was
+coming.  I set myself close up to a shop-side with my back to
+the counter, as if to let the crowd pass by, when keeping my
+eye upon a parcel of lace which the shopkeeper was showing
+to some ladies that stood by me, the shopkeeper and her maid
+were so taken up with looking to see who was coming, and
+what shop they would go to, that I found means to slip a paper
+of lace into my pocket and come clear off with it; so the
+lady-milliner paid dear enough for her gaping after the queen.
+
+I went off from the shop, as if driven along by the throng, and
+mingling myself with the crowd, went out at the other door
+of the Exchange, and so got away before they missed their
+lace; and because I would not be followed, I called a coach
+and shut myself up in it.  I had scarce shut the coach doors up,
+but I saw the milliner's maid and five or six more come
+running out into the street, and crying out as if they were
+frightened.  They did not cry 'Stop thief!' because nobody ran
+away, but I could hear the word 'robbed,' and 'lace,' two or
+three times, and saw the wench wringing her hands, and run
+staring to and again, like one scared.  The coachman that had
+taken me up was getting up into the box, but was not quite up,
+so that the horse had not begun to move; so that I was terrible
+uneasy, and I took the packet of lace and laid it ready to have
+dropped it out at the flap of the coach, which opens before,
+just behind the coachman; but to my great satisfaction, in less
+than a minute the coach began to move, that is to say, as soon
+as the coachman had got up and spoken to his horses; so he
+drove away without any interruption, and I brought off my
+purchase, which was work near #20.
+
+The next day I dressed up again, but in quite different clothes,
+and walked the same way again, but nothing offered till I
+came into St. James's Park, where I saw abundance of fine
+ladies in the Park, walking in the Mall, and among the rest
+there was a little miss, a young lady of about twelve or thirteen
+years old, and she had a sister, as I suppose it was, with her,
+that might be about nine years old.  I observed the biggest
+had a fine gold watch on, and a good necklace of pearl, and
+they had a footman in livery with them; but as it is not usual
+for the footman to go behind the ladies in the Mall, so I
+observed the footman stopped at their going into the Mall,
+and the biggest of the sisters spoke to him, which I perceived
+was to bid him be just there when they came back.
+
+When I heard her dismiss the footman, I stepped up to him
+and asked him, what little lady that was? and held a little chat
+with him about what a pretty child it was with her, and how
+genteel and well-carriaged the lady, the eldest, would be:  how
+womanish, and how grave; and the fool of a fellow told me
+presently who she was; that she was Sir Thomas ----'s eldest
+daughter, of Essex, and that she was a great fortune; that her
+mother was not come to town yet; but she was with Sir
+William ----'s lady, of Suffolk, at her lodging in Suffolk
+Street, and a great deal more; that they had a maid and a
+woman to wait on them, besides Sir Thomas's coach, the
+coachman, and himself; and that young lady was governess
+to the whole family, as well here as at home too; and, in short,
+told me abundance of things enough for my business.
+
+I was very well dressed, and had my gold watch as well as
+she; so I left the footman, and I puts myself in a rank with
+this young lady, having stayed till she had taken one double
+turn in the Mall, and was going forward again; by and by I
+saluted her by her name, with the title of Lady Betty.  I asked
+her when she heard from her father; when my lady her mother
+would be in town, and how she did.
+
+I talked so familiarly to her of her whole family that she could
+not suspect but that I knew them all intimately.  I asked her
+why she would come abroad without Mrs. Chime with her
+(that was the name of her woman) to take of Mrs. Judith, that
+was her sister.  Then I entered into a long chat with her about
+her sister, what a fine little lady she was, and asked her if she
+had learned French, and a thousand such little things to entertain
+her, when on a sudden we saw the guards come, and the crowd
+ran to see the king go by to the Parliament House.
+
+The ladies ran all to the side of the Mall, and I helped my
+lady to stand upon the edge of the boards on the side of the
+Mall, that she might be high enough to see; and took the little
+one and lifted her quite up; during which, I took care to convey
+the gold watch so clean away from the Lady Betty, that she
+never felt it, nor missed it, till all the crowd was gone, and she
+was gotten into the middle of the Mall among the other ladies.
+
+I took my leave of her in the very crowd, and said to her, as
+if in haste, 'Dear Lady Betty, take care of your little sister.'
+And so the crowd did as it were thrust me away from her, and
+that I was obliged unwillingly to take my leave.
+
+The hurry in such cases is immediately over, and the place
+clear as soon as the king is gone by; but as there is always a
+great running and clutter just as the king passes, so having
+dropped the two little ladies, and done my business with them
+without any miscarriage, I kept hurrying on among the crowd,
+as if I ran to see the king, and so I got before the crowd and
+kept so till I came to the end of the Mall, when the king going
+on towards the Horse Guards, I went forward to the passage,
+which went then through against the lower end of the Haymarket,
+and there I bestowed a coach upon myself, and made off, and I
+confess I have not yet been so good as my word, viz. to go and
+visit my Lady Betty.
+
+I was once of the mind to venture staying with Lady Betty till
+she missed the watch, and so have made a great outcry about
+it with her, and have got her into the coach, and put myself in
+the coach with her, and have gone home with her; for she
+appeared so fond of me, and so perfectly deceived by my so
+readily talking to her of all her relations and family, that I
+thought it was very easy to push the thing farther, and to have
+got at least the necklace of pearl; but when I considered that
+though the child would not perhaps have suspected me, other
+people might, and that if I was searched I should be discovered,
+I thought it was best to go off with what I had got, and be
+satisfied.
+
+I came accidentally afterwards to hear, that when the young
+lady missed her watch, she made a great outcry in the Park,
+and sent her footman up and down to see if he could find me
+out, she having described me so perfectly that he knew presently
+that it was the same person that had stood and talked so long
+with him, and asked him so many questions about them; but I
+gone far enough out of their reach before she could come at
+her footman to tell him the story.
+
+I made another adventure after this, of a nature different from
+all I had been concerned in yet, and this was at a gaming-house
+near Covent Garden.
+
+I saw several people go in and out; and I stood in the passage
+a good while with another woman with me, and seeing a
+gentleman go up that seemed to be of more than ordinary
+fashion, I said to him, 'Sir, pray don't they give women leave
+to go up?' 'Yes, madam,' says he, 'and to play too, if they
+please.'  'I mean so, sir,' said I.  And with that he said he
+would introduce me if I had a mind; so I followed him to the
+door, and he looking in, 'There, madam,' says he, 'are the
+gamesters, if you have a mind to venture.'  I looked in and
+said to my comrade aloud, 'Here's nothing but men; I won't
+venture among them.'  At which one of the gentlemen cried
+out, 'You need not be afraid, madam, here's none but fair
+gamesters; you are very welcome to come and set what you
+please.'  so I went a little nearer and looked on, and some of
+them brought me a chair, and I sat down and saw the box and
+dice go round apace; then I said to my comrade, 'The gentlemen
+play too high for us; come, let us go.'
+
+The people were all very civil, and one gentleman in particular
+encouraged me, and said, 'Come, madam, if you please to
+venture, if you dare trust me, I'll answer for it you shall have
+nothing put upon you here.'  'No, sir,' said I, smiling, 'I hope
+the gentlemen would not cheat a woman.'  But still I declined
+venturing, though I pulled out a purse with money in it, that
+they might see I did not want money.
+
+After I had sat a while, one gentleman said to me, jeering,
+'Come, madam, I see you are afraid to venture for yourself;
+I always had good luck with the ladies, you shall set for me,
+if you won't set for yourself.'  I told him, 'sir, I should be very
+loth to lose your money,' though I added, 'I am pretty lucky
+too; but the gentlemen play so high, that I dare not indeed
+venture my own.'
+
+'Well, well,' says he, 'there's ten guineas, madam; set them
+for me.'  so I took his money and set, himself looking on.  I
+ran out nine of the guineas by one and two at a time, and then
+the box coming to the next man to me, my gentleman gave
+me ten guineas more, and made me set five of them at once,
+and the gentleman who had the box threw out, so there was
+five guineas of his money again.  He was encouraged at this,
+and made me take the box, which was a bold venture.  However,
+I held the box so long that I had gained him his whole money,
+and had a good handful of guineas in my lap, and which was
+the better luck, when I threw out, I threw but at one or two of
+those that had set me, and so went off easy.
+
+When I was come this length, I offered the gentleman all the
+gold, for it was his own; and so would have had him play for
+himself, pretending I did not understand the game well enough.
+He laughed, and said if I had but good luck, it was no matter
+whether I understood the game or no; but I should not leave
+off.  However, he took out the fifteen guineas that he had put
+in at first, and bade me play with the rest.  I would have told
+them to see how much I had got, but he said, 'No, no, don't
+tell them, I believe you are very honest, and 'tis bad luck to
+tell them'; so I played on.
+
+I understood the game well enough, though I pretended I did
+not, and played cautiously.  It was to keep a good stock in my
+lap, out of which I every now and then conveyed some into
+my pocket, but in such a manner, and at such convenient times,
+as I was sure he could not see it.
+
+I played a great while, and had very good luck for him; but
+the last time I held the box, they set me high, and I threw
+boldly at all; I held the box till I gained near fourscore guineas,
+but lost above half of it back in the last throw; so I got up, for
+I was afraid I should lose it all back again, and said to him,
+'Pray come, sir, now, and take it and play for yourself; I think
+I have done pretty well for you.'  He would have had me play
+on, but it grew late, and I desired to be excused.  When I gave
+it up to him, I told him I hoped he would give me leave to tell
+it now, that I might see what I had gained, and how lucky I
+had been for him; when I told them, there were threescore
+and three guineas.  'Ay,' says I, 'if it had not been for that
+unlucky throw, I had got you a hundred guineas.'  So I gave
+him all the money, but he would not take it till I had put my
+hand into it, and taken some for myself, and bid me please
+myself.  I refused it, and was positive I would not take it
+myself; if he had a mind to anything of that kind, it should
+be all his own doings.
+
+The rest of the gentlemen seeing us striving cried, 'Give it
+her all'; but I absolutely refused that.  Then one of them said,
+'D----n ye, jack, halve it with her; don't you know you should
+be always upon even terms with the ladies.'  So, in short, he
+divided it with me, and I brought away thirty guineas, besides
+about forty-three which I had stole privately, which I was
+sorry for afterward, because he was so generous.
+
+Thus I brought home seventy-three guineas, and let my old
+governess see what good luck I had at play.  However, it was
+her advice that I should not venture again, and I took her
+counsel, for I never went there any more; for I knew as well
+as she, if the itch of play came in, I might soon lose that, and
+all the rest of what I had got.
+
+Fortune had smiled upon me to that degree, and I had thriven
+so much, and my governess too, for she always had a share
+with me, that really the old gentlewoman began to talk of
+leaving off while we were well, and being satisfied with what
+we had got; but, I know not what fate guided me, I was as
+backward to it now as she was when I proposed it to her
+before, and so in an ill hour we gave over the thoughts of it
+for the present, and, in a word, I grew more hardened and
+audacious than ever, and the success I had made my name as
+famous as any thief of my sort ever had been at Newgate, and
+in the Old Bailey.
+
+I had sometime taken the liberty to play the same game over
+again, which is not according to practice, which however
+succeeded not amiss; but generally I took up new figures, and
+contrived to appear in new shapes every time I went abroad.
+
+It was not a rumbling time of the year, and the gentlemen
+being most of them gone out of town, Tunbridge, and Epsom,
+and such places were full of people.  But the city was thin,
+and I thought our trade felt it a little, as well as other; so that
+at the latter end of the year I joined myself with a gang who
+usually go every year to Stourbridge Fair, and from thence to
+Bury Fair, in Suffolk.  We promised ourselves great things
+there, but when I came to see how things were, I was weary
+of it presently; for except mere picking of pockets, there was
+little worth meddling with; neither, if a booty had been made,
+was it so easy carrying it off, nor was there such a variety of
+occasion for business in our way, as in London; all that I made
+of the whole journey was a gold watch at Bury Fair, and a
+small parcel of linen at Cambridge, which gave me an occasion
+to take leave of the place.  It was on old bite, and I thought
+might do with a country shopkeeper, though in London it
+would not.
+
+I bought at a linen-draper's shop, not in the fair, but in the
+town of Cambridge, as much fine holland and other things as
+came to about seven pounds; when I had done, I bade them
+be sent to such an inn, where I had purposely taken up my
+being the same morning, as if I was to lodge there that night.
+
+I ordered the draper to send them home to me, about such an
+hour, to the inn where I lay, and I would pay him his money.
+At the time appointed the draper sends the goods, and I placed
+one of our gang at the chamber door, and when the innkeeper's
+maid brought the messenger to the door, who was a young
+fellow, an apprentice, almost a man, she tells him her mistress
+was asleep, but if he would leave the things and call in about
+an hour, I should be awake, and he might have the money.  He
+left the parcel very readily, and goes his way, and in about
+half an hour my maid and I walked off, and that very evening
+I hired a horse, and a man to ride before me, and went to
+Newmarket, and from thence got my passage in a coach that
+was not quite full to St. Edmund's Bury, where, as I told you,
+I could make but little of my trade, only at a little country
+opera-house made a shift to carry off a gold watch from a
+lady's side, who was not only intolerably merry, but, as I
+thought, a little fuddled, which made my work much easier.
+
+I made off with this little booty to Ipswich, and from thence
+to Harwich, where I went into an inn, as if I had newly arrived
+from Holland, not doubting but I should make some purchase
+among the foreigners that came on shore there; but I found
+them generally empty of things of value, except what was in
+their portmanteaux and Dutch hampers, which were generally
+guarded by footmen; however, I fairly got one of their
+portmanteaux one evening out of the chamber where the
+gentleman lay, the footman being fast asleep on the bed, and
+I suppose very drunk.
+
+The room in which I lodged lay next to the Dutchman's, and
+having dragged the heavy thing with much ado out of the
+chamber into mine, I went out into the street, to see if I could
+find any possibility of carrying it off.  I walked about a great
+while, but could see no probability either of getting out the
+thing, or of conveying away the goods that were in it if I had
+opened it, the town being so small, and I a perfect stranger in
+it; so I was returning with a resolution to carry it back again,
+and leave it where I found it.  Just in that very moment I heard
+a man make a noise to some people to make haste, for the boat
+was going to put off, and the tide would be spent.  I called to
+the fellow, 'What boat is it, friend,' says I, 'that you belong to?'
+'The Ipswich wherry, madam,' says he.  'When do you go off?'
+says I.  'This moment, madam,' says he; 'do you want to go
+thither?'  'Yes,' said I, 'if you can stay till I fetch my things.'
+'Where are your  things, madam?' says he.  'At such an inn,'
+said I.  'Well, I'll go with you, madam,' says he, very civilly,
+'and bring them for you.' 'Come away, then,' says I, and takes
+him with me.
+
+The people of the inn were in a great hurry, the packet-boat
+from Holland being just come in, and two coaches just come
+also with passengers from London, for another packet-boat
+that was going off for Holland, which coaches were to go back
+next day with the passengers that were just landed.  In this
+hurry it was not much minded that I came to the bar and paid
+my reckoning, telling my landlady I had gotten my passage by
+sea in a wherry.
+
+These wherries are large vessels, with good accommodation
+for carrying passengers from Harwich to London; and though
+they are called wherries, which is a word used in the Thames
+for a small boat rowed with one or two men, yet these are
+vessels able to carry twenty passengers, and ten or fifteen tons
+of goods, and fitted to bear the sea.  All this I had found out
+by inquiring the night before into the several ways of going
+to London.
+
+My landlady was very courteous, took my money for my
+reckoning, but was called away, all the house being in a hurry.
+So I left her, took the fellow up to my chamber, gave him the
+trunk, or portmanteau, for it was like a trunk, and wrapped it
+about with an old apron, and he went directly to his boat with
+it, and I after him, nobody asking us the least question about
+it; as for the drunken Dutch footman he was still asleep, and
+his master with other foreign gentlemen at supper, and very
+merry below, so I went clean off with it to Ipswich; and going
+in the night, the people of the house knew nothing but that I
+was gone to London by the Harwich wherry, as I had told my
+landlady.
+
+I was plagued at Ipswich with the custom-house officers, who
+stopped my trunk, as I called it, and would open and search it.
+I was willing, I told them, they should search it, but husband
+had the key, and he was not yet come from Harwich; this I
+said, that if upon searching it they should find all the things
+be such as properly belonged to a man rather than a woman,
+it should not seem strange to them.  However, they being
+positive to open the trunk I consented to have it be broken
+open, that is to say, to have the lock taken off, which was not
+difficult.
+
+They found nothing for their turn, for the trunk had been
+searched before, but they discovered several things very much
+to my satisfaction, as particularly a parcel of money in French
+pistols, and some Dutch ducatoons or rix-dollars, and the rest
+was chiefly two periwigs, wearing-linen, and razors, wash-balls,
+perfumes, and other useful things necessary for a gentleman,
+which all passed for my husband's, and so I was quit to them.
+
+It was now very early in the morning, and not light, and I
+knew not well what course to take; for I made no doubt but I
+should be pursued in the morning, and perhaps be taken with
+the things about me; so I resolved upon taking new measures.
+I went publicly to an inn in the town with my trunk, as I called
+it, and having taken the substance out, I did not think the
+lumber of it worth my concern; however, I gave it the landlady
+of the house with a charge to take great care of it, and lay it
+up safe till I should come again, and away I walked in to the
+street.
+
+When I was got into the town a great way from the inn, I met
+with an ancient woman who had just opened her door, and I
+fell into chat with her, and asked her a great many wild
+questions of things all remote to my purpose and design; but
+in my discourse I found by her how the town was situated,
+that I was in a street that went out towards Hadley, but that
+such a street went towards the water-side, such a street towards
+Colchester, and so the London road lay there.
+
+I had soon my ends of this old woman, for I only wanted to
+know which was the London road, and away I walked as fast
+as I could; not that I intended to go on foot, either to London
+or to Colchester, but I wanted to get quietly away from Ipswich.
+
+I walked about two or three miles, and then I met a plain
+countryman, who was busy about some husbandry work, I did
+not know what, and I asked him a great many questions first,
+not much to the purpose, but at last told him I was going for
+London, and the coach was full, and I could not get a passage,
+and asked him if he could tell me where to hire a horse that
+would carry double, and an honest man to ride before me to
+Colchester, that so I might get a place there in the coaches.
+The honest clown looked earnestly at me, and said nothing
+for above half a minute, when, scratching his poll, 'A horse,
+say you and to Colchester, to carry double?  why yes, mistress,
+alack-a-day, you may have horses enough for money.'  'Well,
+friend,' says I, 'that I take for granted; I don't expect it without
+money.'  'Why, but, mistress,' says he, 'how much are you
+willing to give?'  'Nay,' says I again, 'friend, I don't know
+what your rates are in the country here, for I am a stranger;
+but if you can get one for me, get it as cheap as you can, and
+I'll give you somewhat for your pains.'
+
+'Why, that's honestly said too,' says the countryman.  'Not
+so honest, neither,' said I to myself, 'if thou knewest all.'
+'Why, mistress,' says he, 'I have a horse that will carry double,
+and I don't much care if I go myself with you,' and the like.
+'Will you?' says I; 'well, I believe you are an honest man; if
+you will, I shall be glad of it; I'll pay you in reason.'  'Why,
+look ye, mistress,' says he, 'I won't be out of reason with you,
+then; if I carry you to Colchester, it will be worth five shillings
+for myself and my horse, for I shall hardly come back to-night.'
+
+In short, I hired the honest man and his horse; but when we
+came to a town upon the road (I do not remember the name
+of it, but it stands upon a river), I pretended myself very ill,
+and I could go no farther that night but if he would stay there
+with me, because I was a stranger, I would pay him for himself
+and his horse with all my heart.
+
+This I did because I knew the Dutch gentlemen and their
+servants would be upon the road that day, either in the
+stagecoaches or riding post, and I did not know but the drunken
+fellow, or somebody else that might have seen me at Harwich,
+might see me again, and so I thought that in one day's stop
+they would be all gone by.
+
+We lay all that night there, and the next morning it was not
+very early when I set out, so that it was near ten o'clock by
+the time I got to Colchester.  It was no little pleasure that I
+saw the town where I had so many pleasant days, and I made
+many inquiries after the good old friends I had once had there,
+but could make little out; they were all dead or removed.  The
+young ladies had been all married or gone to London; the old
+gentleman and the old lady that had been my early benefactress
+all dead; and which troubled me most, the young gentleman
+my first lover, and afterwards my brother-in-law, was dead;
+but two sons, men grown, were left of him, but they too were
+transplanted to London.
+
+I dismissed my old man here, and stayed incognito for three
+or four days in Colchester, and then took a passage in a waggon,
+because I would not venture being seen in the Harwich coaches.
+But I needed not have used so much caution, for there was
+nobody in Harwich but the woman of the house could have
+known me; nor was it rational to think that she, considering
+the hurry she was in, and that she never saw me but once, and
+that by candlelight, should have ever discovered me.
+
+I was now returned to London, and though by the accident of
+the last adventure I got something considerable, yet I was not
+fond of any more country rambles, nor should I have ventured
+abroad again if I had carried the trade on to the end of my
+days. I gave my governess a history of my travels; she liked
+the Harwich journey well enough, and in discoursing of these
+things between ourselves she observed, that a thief being a
+creature that watches the advantages of other people's mistakes,
+'tis impossible but that to one that is vigilant and industrious
+many opportunities must happen, and therefore she thought
+that one so exquisitely keen in the trade as I was, would scarce
+fail of something extraordinary wherever I went.
+
+On the other hand, every branch of my story, if duly considered,
+may be useful to honest people, and afford a due caution to
+people of some sort or other to guard against the like surprises,
+and to have their eyes about them when they have to do with
+strangers of any kind, for 'tis very seldom that some snare or
+other is not in their way.  The moral, indeed, of all my history
+is left to be gathered by the senses and judgment of the reader;
+I am not qualified to preach to them.  Let the experience of
+one creature completely wicked, and completely miserable,
+be a storehouse of useful warning to those that read.
+
+I am drawing now towards a new variety of the scenes of life.
+Upon my return, being hardened by along race of crime, and
+success unparalleled, at least in the reach of my own knowledge,
+I had, as I have said, no thoughts of laying down a trade which,
+if I was to judge by the example of other, must, however, end
+at last in misery and sorrow.
+
+It was on the Christmas day following, in the evening, that,
+to finish a long train of wickedness, I went abroad to see what
+might offer in my way; when going by a working silversmith's
+in Foster Lane, I saw a tempting bait indeed, and not be
+resisted by one of my occupation, for the shop had nobody in
+it, as I could see, and a great deal of loose plate lay in the
+window, and at the seat of the man, who usually, as I suppose,
+worked at one side of the shop.
+
+I went boldly in, and was just going to lay my hand upon a
+piece of plate, and might have done it, and carried it clear off,
+for any care that the men who belonged to the shop had taken
+of it; but an officious fellow in a house, not a shop, on the
+other side of the way, seeing me go in, and observing that
+there was nobody in the shop, comes running over the street,
+and into the shop, and without asking me what I was, or who,
+seizes upon me, an cries out for the people of the house.
+
+I had not, as I said above, touched anything in the shop, and
+seeing a glimpse of somebody running over to the shop, I had
+so much presence of mind as to knock very  hard with my
+foot on the floor of the house, and was just calling out too,
+when the fellow laid hands on me.
+
+However, as I had always most courage when I was in most
+danger, so when the fellow laid hands on me, I stood very
+high upon it, that I came in to buy half a dozen of silver spoons;
+and to my good fortune, it was a silversmith's that sold plate,
+as well as worked plate for other shops.  The fellow laughed
+at that part, and put such a value upon the service that he had
+done his neighbour, that he would have it be that I came not
+to buy, but to steal; and raising a great crowd.  I said to the
+master of the shop, who by this time was fetched home from
+some neighbouring place, that it was in vain to make noise,
+and enter into talk there of the case; the fellow had insisted
+that I came to steal, and he must prove it, and I desired we
+might go before a magistrate without any more words; for I
+began to see I should be too hard for the man that had seized me.
+
+The master and mistress of the shop were really not so violent
+as the man from t'other side of the way; and the man said,
+'Mistress, you might come into the shop with a good design
+for aught I know, but it seemed a dangerous thing for you to
+come into such a shop as mine is, when you see nobody there;
+and I cannot do justice to my neighbour, who was so kind to
+me, as not to acknowledge he had reason on his side; though,
+upon the whole, I do not find you attempted to take anything,
+and I really know not what to do in it.'  I pressed him to go
+before a magistrate with me, and if anything could be proved
+on me that was like a design of robbery, I should willingly
+submit, but if not, I expected reparation.
+
+Just while we were in this debate, and a crowd of people
+gathered about the door, came by Sir T. B., an alderman of
+the city, and justice of the peace, and the goldsmith hearing
+of it, goes out, and entreated his worship to come in and
+decide the case.
+
+Give the goldsmith his due, he told his story with a great deal
+of justice and moderation, and the fellow that had come over,
+and seized upon me, told his with as much heat and foolish
+passion, which did me good still, rather than harm.  It came
+then to my turn to speak, and I told his worship that I was a
+stranger in London, being newly come out of the north; that I
+lodged in such a place, that I was passing this street, and went
+into the goldsmith's shop to buy half a dozen of spoons.  By
+great luck I had an old silver spoon in my pocket, which I
+pulled out, and told him I had carried that spoon to match it
+with half a dozen of new ones, that it might match some I had
+in the country.
+
+That seeing nobody I the shop, I knocked with my foot very
+hard to make the people hear, and had also called aloud with
+my voice; 'tis true, there was loose plate in the shop, but that
+nobody could say I had touched any of it, or gone near it; that
+a fellow came running into the shop out of the street, and laid
+hands on me in a furious manner, in the very moments while
+I was calling for the people of the house; that if he had really
+had a mind to have done his neighbour any service, he should
+have stood at a distance, and silently watched to see whether
+I had touched anything or no, and then have clapped in upon
+me, and taken me in the fact.  'That is very true,' says Mr.
+Alderman, and turning to the fellow that stopped me, he asked
+him if it was true that I knocked with my foot?  He said, yes,
+I had knocked, but that might be because of his coming.  'Nay,'
+says the alderman, taking him short, 'now you contradict
+yourself, for just now you said she was in the shop with her
+back to you, and did not see you till you came upon her.'  Now
+it was true that my back was partly to the street, but yet as my
+business was of a kind that required me to have my eyes every
+way, so I really had a glance of him running over, as I said
+before, though he did not perceive it.
+
+After a full hearing, the alderman gave it as his opinion that
+his neighbour was under a mistake, and that I was innocent,
+and the goldsmith acquiesced in it too, and his wife, and so
+I was dismissed; but as I was going to depart, Mr. Alderman
+said, 'But hold, madam, if you were designing to buy spoons,
+I hope you will not let my friend here lose his customer by
+the mistake.'  I readily answered, 'No, sir, I'll buy the spoons
+still, if he can match my odd spoon, which I brought for a
+pattern'; and the goldsmith showed me some of the very same
+fashion.  So he weighed the spoons, and they came to five-and-thirty
+shillings, so I pulls out my purse to pay him, in which I had
+near twenty guineas, for I never went without such a sum
+about me, whatever might happen, and I found it of use at
+other times as well as now.
+
+When Mr. Alderman saw my money, he said, 'Well, madam,
+now I am satisfied you were wronged, and it was for this
+reason that I moved you should buy the spoons, and stayed
+till you had bought them, for if you had not had money to pay
+for them, I should have suspected that you did not come into
+the shop with an intent to buy, for indeed the sort of people
+who come upon these designs that you have been charged
+with, are seldom troubled with much gold in their pockets,
+as I see you are.'
+
+I smiled, and told his worship, that then I owed something of
+his favour to my money, but I hoped he saw reason also in
+the justice he had done me before.  He said, yes, he had, but
+this had confirmed his opinion, and he was fully satisfied now
+of my having been injured.  So I came off with flying colours,
+though from an affair in which I was at the very brink of
+destruction.
+
+It was but three days after this, that not at all made cautious
+by my former danger, as I used to be, and still pursuing the
+art which I had so long been employed in, I ventured into a
+house where I saw the doors open, and furnished myself, as
+I though verily without being perceived, with two pieces of
+flowered silks, such as they call brocaded silk, very rich.  It
+was not a mercer's shop, nor a warehouse of a mercer, but
+looked like a private dwelling-house, and was, it seems,
+inhabited by a man that sold goods for the weavers to the
+mercers, like a broker or factor.
+
+That I may make short of this black part of this story, I was
+attacked by two wenches that came open-mouthed at me just
+as I was going out at the door, and one of them pulled me
+back into the room, while the other shut the door upon me.
+I would have given them good words, but there was no room
+for it, two fiery dragons could not have been more furious
+than they were; they tore my clothes, bullied and roared as if
+they would have murdered me; the mistress of the house came
+next, and then the master, and all outrageous, for a while especially.
+
+I gave the master very good words, told him the door was
+open, and things were a temptation to me, that I was poor and
+distressed, and poverty was when many could not resist, and
+begged him with tears to have pity on me.  The mistress of
+the house was moved with compassion, and inclined to have
+let me go, and had almost persuaded her husband to it also,
+but the saucy wenches were run, even before they were sent,
+and had fetched a constable, and then the master said he could
+not go back, I must go before a justice, and answered his wife
+that he might come into trouble himself if he should let me go.
+
+The sight of the constable, indeed, struck me with terror, and
+I thought I should have sunk into the ground.  I fell into
+faintings, and indeed the people themselves thought I would
+have died, when the woman argued again for me, and entreated
+her husband, seeing they had lost nothing, to let me go.  I
+offered him to pay for the two pieces, whatever the value was,
+though I had not got them, and argued that as he had his goods,
+and had really lost nothing, it would be cruel to pursue me to
+death, and have my blood for the bare attempt of taking them.
+I put the constable in mind that I had broke no doors, nor
+carried anything away; and when I came to the justice, and
+pleaded there that I had neither broken anything to get in, nor
+carried anything out, the justice was inclined to have released
+me; but the first saucy jade that stopped me, affirming that I
+was going out with the goods, but that she stopped me and
+pulled me back as I was upon the threshold, the justice upon
+that point committed me, and I was carried to Newgate.  That
+horrid place! my very blood chills at the mention of its name;
+the place where so many of my comrades had been locked up,
+and from whence they went to the fatal tree; the place where
+my mother suffered so deeply, where I was brought into the
+world, and from whence I expected no redemption but by an
+infamous death:  to conclude, the place that had so long
+expected me, and which with so much art and success I had
+so long avoided.
+
+I was not fixed indeed; 'tis impossible to describe the terror
+of my mind, when I was first brought in, and when I looked
+around upon all the horrors of that dismal place.  I looked on
+myself as lost, and that I had nothing to think of but of going
+out of the world, and that with the utmost infamy:  the hellish
+noise, the roaring, swearing, and clamour, the stench and
+nastiness, and all the dreadful crowd of afflicting things that
+I saw there, joined together to make the place seem an emblem
+of hell itself, and a kind of an entrance into it.
+
+Now I reproached myself with the many hints I had had, as I
+have mentioned above, from my own reason, from the sense
+of my good circumstances, and of the many dangers I had
+escaped, to leave off while I was well, and how I had withstood
+them all, and hardened my thoughts against all fear.  It seemed
+to me that I was hurried on by an inevitable and unseen fate
+to this day of misery, and that now I was to expiate all my
+offences at the gallows; that I was now to give satisfaction to
+justice with my blood, and that I was come to the last hour of
+my life and of my wickedness together.  These things poured
+themselves in upon my thoughts in a confused manner, and
+left me overwhelmed with melancholy and despair.
+
+Them I repented heartily of all my life past, but that repentance
+yielded me no satisfaction, no peace, no, not in the least,
+because, as I said to myself, it was repenting after the power
+of further sinning was taken away.  I seemed not to mourn that
+I had committed such crimes, and for the fact as it was an
+offence against God and my neighbour, but I mourned that I
+was to be punished for it.  I was a penitent, as I thought, not
+that I had sinned, but that I was to suffer, and this took away
+all the comfort, and even the hope of my repentance in my
+own thoughts.
+
+I got no sleep for several nights or days after I came into that
+wretched place, and glad I would have been for some time to
+have died there, though I did not consider dying as it ought to
+be considered neither; indeed, nothing could be filled with
+more horror to my imagination than the very place, nothing
+was more odious to me than the company that was there.  Oh!
+if I had but been sent to any place in the world, and not to
+Newgate, I should have thought myself happy.
+
+In the next place, how did the hardened wretches that were
+there before me triumph over me!  What! Mrs. Flanders come
+to Newgate at last?  What! Mrs. Mary, Mrs. Molly, and after
+that plain Moll Flanders? They thought the devil had helped
+me, they said, that I had reigned so long; they expected me
+there many years ago, and was I come at last?  Then they
+flouted me with my dejections, welcomed me to the place,
+wished me joy, bid me have a good heart, not to be cast down,
+things might not be so bad as I feared, and the like; then called
+for brandy, and drank to me, but put it all up to my score, for
+they told me I was but just come to the college, as they called
+it, and sure I had money in my pocket, though they had none.
+
+I asked one of this crew how long she had been there.  She
+said four months. I asked her how the place looked to her
+when she first came into it.  'Just as it did now to you,' says
+she, dreadful and frightful'; that she thought she was in hell;
+'and I believe so still,' adds she, 'but it is natural to me now, I
+don't disturb myself about it.'  'I suppose,' says I, 'you are in
+no danger of what is to follow?'  'Nay,' says she, 'for you are
+mistaken there, I assure you, for I am under sentence, only I
+pleaded my belly, but I am no more with child than the judge
+that tried me, and I expect to be called down next sessions.'
+This 'calling down' is calling down to their former judgment,
+when a woman has been respited for her belly, but proves not
+to be with child, or if she has been with child, and has been
+brought to bed.  'Well,' says I, 'are you thus easy?'  'Ay,' says
+she, 'I can't help myself; what signifies being sad?  If I am
+hanged, there's an end of me,' says she; and away she turns
+dancing, and sings as she goes the following piece of Newgate
+wit ----
+
+    'If I swing by the string
+     I shall hear the bell ring
+     And then there's an end of poor Jenny.'
+
+I mention this because it would be worth the observation of any
+prisoner, who shall hereafter fall into the same misfortune, and
+come to that dreadful place of Newgate, how time, necessity, and
+conversing with the wretches that are there familiarizes the place
+to them; how at last they become reconciled to that which at first
+was the greatest dread upon their spirits in the world, and are as
+impudently cheerful and merry in their misery as they were when
+out of it.
+
+I cannot say, as some do, this devil is not so black as he is
+painted; for indeed no colours can represent the place to the
+life, not any soul conceive aright of it but those who have
+been suffers there.  But how hell should become by degree so
+natural, and not only tolerable, but even agreeable, is a thing
+unintelligible but by those who have experienced it, as I have.
+
+The same night that I was sent to Newgate, I sent the news of
+it to my old governess, who was surprised at it, you may be
+sure, and spent the night almost as ill out of Newgate, as I did
+in it.
+
+The next morning she came to see me; she did what she could
+to comfort me, but she saw that was to no purpose; however,
+as she said, to sink under the weight was but to increase the
+weight; she immediately applied herself to all the proper
+methods to prevent the effects of it, which we feared, and
+first she found out the two fiery jades that had surprised me.
+She tampered with them, offered them money, and, in a word,
+tried all imaginable ways to prevent a prosecution; she offered
+one of the wenches #100 to go away from her mistress, and
+not to appear against me, but she was so resolute, that though
+she was but a servant maid at #3 a year wages or thereabouts,
+she refused it, and would have refused it, as my governess
+said she believed, if she had offered her #500.  Then she
+attacked the other maid; she was not so hard-hearted in
+appearance as the other, and sometimes seemed inclined to
+be merciful; but the first wench kept her up, and changed her
+mind, and would not so much as let my governess talk with
+her, but threatened to have her up for tampering with the
+evidence.
+
+Then she applied to the master, that is to say, the man whose
+goods had been stolen, and particularly to his wife, who, as
+I told you, was inclined at first to have some compassion for
+me; she found the woman the same still, but the man alleged
+he was bound by the justice that committed me, to prosecute,
+and that he should forfeit his recognisance.
+
+My governess offered to find friends that should get his
+recognisances off of the file, as they call it, and that he
+should not suffer; but it was not possible to convince him that
+could be done, or that he could be safe any way in the world
+but by appearing against me; so I was to have three witnesses
+of fact against me, the master and his two maids; that is to say,
+I was as certain to be cast for my life as I was certain that I
+was alive, and I had nothing to do but to think of dying, and
+prepare for it.  I had but a sad foundation to build upon, as I
+said before, for all my repentance appeared to me to be only
+the effect of my fear of death, not a sincere regret for the
+wicked life that I had lived, and which had brought this misery
+upon me, for the offending my Creator, who was now suddenly
+to be my judge.
+
+I lived many days here under the utmost horror of soul; I had
+death, as it were, in view, and thought of nothing night and
+day, but of gibbets and halters, evil spirits and devils; it is not
+to be expressed by words how I was harassed, between the
+dreadful apprehensions of death and the terror of my conscience
+reproaching me with my past horrible life.
+
+The ordinary of Newgate came to me, and talked a little in
+his way, but all his divinity ran upon confessing my crime, as
+he called it (though he knew not what I was in for), making a
+full discovery, and the like, without which he told me God
+would never forgive me; and he said so little to the purpose,
+that I had no manner of consolation from him; and then to
+observe the poor creature preaching confession and repentance
+to me in the morning, and find him drunk with brandy and
+spirits by noon, this had something in it so shocking, that I
+began to nauseate the man more than his work, and his work
+too by degrees, for the sake of the man; so that I desired him
+to trouble me no more.
+
+I know not how it was, but by the indefatigable application
+of my diligent governess I had no bill preferred against me
+the first sessions, I mean to the grand jury, at Guildhall; so I
+had another month or five weeks before me, and without doubt
+this ought to have been accepted by me, as so much time given
+me for reflection upon what was past, and preparation for what
+was to come; or, in a word, I ought to have esteemed it as a
+space given me for repentance, and have employed it as such,
+but it was not in me.  I was sorry (as before) for being in
+Newgate, but had very few signs of repentance about me.
+
+On the contrary, like the waters in the cavities and hollows
+of mountains, which petrify and turn into stone whatever they
+are suffered to drop on, so the continual conversing with such
+a crew of hell-hounds as I was, had the same common operation
+upon me as upon other people.  I degenerated into stone; I
+turned first stupid and senseless, then brutish and thoughtless,
+and at last raving mad as any of them were; and, in short, I
+became as naturally pleased and easy with the place, as if
+indeed I had been born there.
+
+It is scarce possible to imagine that our natures should be
+capable of so much degeneracy, as to make that pleasant and
+agreeable that in itself is the most complete misery.  Here
+was a circumstance that I think it is scarce possible to mention
+a worse:  I was as exquisitely miserable as, speaking of
+common cases, it was possible for any one to be that had life
+and health, and money to help them, as I had.
+
+I had weight of guilt upon me enough to sink any creature
+who had the least power of reflection left, and had any sense
+upon them of the happiness of this life, of the misery of
+another; then I had at first remorse indeed, but no repentance;
+I had now neither remorse nor repentance.  I had a crime
+charged on me, the punishment of which was death by our
+law; the proof so evident, that there was no room for me so
+much as to plead not guilty.  I had the name of an old offender,
+so that I had nothing to expect but death in a few weeks' time,
+neither had I myself any thoughts of escaping; and yet a certain
+strange lethargy of soul possessed me.  I had no trouble, no
+apprehensions, no sorrow about me, the first surprise was
+gone; I was, I may well say, I know not how; my senses, my
+reason, nay, my conscience, were all asleep; my course of life
+for forty years had been a horrid complication of wickedness,
+whoredom, adultery, incest, lying, theft; and, in a word,
+everything but murder and treason had been my practice from
+the age of eighteen, or thereabouts, to three-score; and now I
+was engulfed in the misery of punishment, and had an infamous
+death just at the door, and yet I had no sense of my condition,
+no thought of heaven or hell at least, that went any farther than
+a bare flying touch, like the stitch or pain that gives a hint and
+goes off.  I neither had a heart to ask God's mercy, nor indeed
+to think of it.  And in this, I think, I have given a brief
+description of the completest misery on earth.
+
+All my terrifying thoughts were past, the horrors of the place
+were become familiar, and I felt no more uneasiness at the
+noise and clamours of the prison, than they did who made
+that noise; in a word, I was become a mere Newgate-bird, as
+wicked and as outrageous as any of them; nay, I scarce
+retained the habit and custom of good breeding and manners,
+which all along till now ran through my conversation; so
+thorough a degeneracy had possessed me, that I was no more
+the same thing that I had been, than if I had never been
+otherwise than what I was now.
+
+In the middle of this hardened part of my life I had another
+sudden surprise, which called me back a little to that thing
+called sorrow, which indeed I began to be past the sense of
+before.  They told me one night that there was brought into
+the prison late the night before three highwaymen, who had
+committed robbery somewhere on the road to Windsor,
+Hounslow Heath, I think it was, and were pursued to Uxbridge
+by the country, and were taken there after a gallant resistance,
+in which I know not how many of the country people were
+wounded, and some killed.
+
+It is not to be wondered that we prisoners were all desirous
+enough to see these brave, topping gentlemen, that were
+talked up to be such as their fellows had not been known, and
+especially because it was said they would in the morning be
+removed into the press-yard, having given money to the head
+master of the prison, to be allowed the liberty of that better
+part of the prison.  So we that were women placed ourselves
+in the way, that we would be sure to see them; but nothing
+could express the amazement and surprise I was in, when the
+very first man that came out I knew to be my Lancashire husband,
+the same who lived so well at Dunstable, and the same who I
+afterwards saw at Brickhill, when I was married to my last
+husband, as has been related.
+
+I was struck dumb at the sight, and knew neither what to say
+nor what to do; he did not know me, and that was all the
+present relief I had.  I quitted my company, and retired as
+much as that dreadful place suffers anybody to retire, and I
+cried vehemently for a great while.  'Dreadful creature that I
+am,' said I, 'how may poor people have I made miserable?
+How many desperate wretches have I sent to the devil?'  He
+had told me at Chester he was ruined by that match, and that
+his fortunes were made desperate on my account; for that
+thinking I had been a fortune, he was run into debt more than
+he was able to pay, and that he knew not what course to take;
+that he would go into the army and carry a musket, or buy a
+horse and take a tour, as he called it; and though I never told
+him that I was a fortune, and so did not actually deceive him
+myself, yet I did encourage the having it thought that I was so,
+and by that means I was the occasion originally of his mischief.
+
+The surprise of the thing only struck deeper into my thoughts,
+any gave me stronger reflections than all that had befallen me
+before.  I grieved day and night for him, and the more for that
+they told me he was the captain of the gang, and that he had
+committed so many robberies, that Hind, or Whitney, or the
+Golden Farmer were fools to him; that he would surely be
+hanged if there were no more men left in the country he was
+born in; and that there would abundance of people come in
+against him.
+
+I was overwhelmed with grief for him; my own case gave me
+no disturbance compared to this, and I loaded myself with
+reproaches on his account.  I bewailed his misfortunes, and
+the ruin he was now come to, at such a rate, that I relished
+nothing now as I did before, and the first reflections I made
+upon the horrid, detestable life I had lived began to return upon
+me, and as these things returned, my abhorrence of the place
+I was in, and of the way of living in it, returned also; in a word,
+I was perfectly changed, and become another body.
+
+While I was under these influences of sorrow for him, came
+notice to me that the next sessions approaching there would
+be a bill preferred to the grand jury against me, and that I
+should be certainly tried for my life at the Old Bailey.  My
+temper was touched before, the hardened, wretched boldness
+of spirit which I had acquired abated, and conscious in the
+prison, guilt began to flow in upon my mind.  In short, I began
+to think, and to think is one real advance from hell to heaven.
+All that hellish, hardened state and temper of soul, which I
+have said so much of before, is but a deprivation of thought;
+he that is restored to his power of thinking, is restored to himself.
+
+As soon as I began, I say, to think, the first think that occurred
+to me broke out thus:  'Lord! what will become of me?  I shall
+certainly die!  I shall be cast, to be sure, and there is nothing
+beyond that but death!  I have no friends; what shall I do?  I
+shall be certainly cast!  Lord, have mercy upon me!  What
+will become of me?'  This was a sad thought, you will say, to
+be the first, after so long a time, that had started into my soul
+of that kind, and yet even this was nothing but fright at what
+was to come; there was not a word of sincere repentance in it
+all.  However, I was indeed dreadfully dejected, and disconsolate
+to the last degree; and as I had no friend in the world to
+communicate my distressed thoughts to, it lay so heavy upon
+me, that it threw me into fits and swoonings several times a
+day.  I sent for my old governess, and she, give her her due,
+acted the part of a true friend.  She left no stone unturned to
+prevent the grand jury finding the bill.  She sought out one or
+two of the jurymen, talked with them, and endeavoured to
+possess them with favourable dispositions, on account that
+nothing was taken away, and no house broken, etc.; but all
+would not do, they were over-ruled by the rest; the two wenches
+swore home to the fact, and the jury found the bill against me
+for robbery and house-breaking, that is, for felony and burglary.
+
+I sunk down when they brought me news of it, and after I came
+to myself again, I thought I should have died with the weight
+of it.  My governess acted a true mother to me; she pitied me,
+she cried with me, and for me, but she could not help me;
+and to add to the terror of it, 'twas the discourse all over the
+house that I should die for it.  I could hear them talk it among
+themselves very often, and see them shake their heads and say
+they were sorry for it, and the like, as is usual in the place.
+But still nobody came to tell me their thoughts, till at last one
+of the keepers came to me privately, and said with a sigh,
+'Well, Mrs. Flanders, you will be tried on Friday' (this was
+but a Wednesday); 'what do you intend to do?'  I turned as
+white as a clout, and said, 'God knows what I shall do; for my
+part, I know not what to do.'  'Why,' says he, 'I won't flatter
+you, I would have you prepare for death, for I doubt you will
+be cast; and as they say you are an old offender, I doubt you
+will find but little mercy.  They say,' added he, 'your case is
+very plain, and that the witnesses swear so home against you,
+there will be no standing it.'
+
+This was a stab into the very vitals of one under such a burthen
+as I was oppressed with before, and I could not speak to him a
+word, good or bad, for a great while; but at last I burst out into
+tears, and said to him, 'Lord! Mr. ----, what must I do?'  'Do!'
+says he, 'send for the ordinary; send for a minister and talk
+with him; for, indeed, Mrs. Flanders, unless you have very
+good friends, you are no woman for this world.'
+
+This was plain dealing indeed, but it was very harsh to me,
+at least I thought it so.  He left me in the greatest confusion
+imaginable, and all that night I lay awake.  And now I began
+to say my prayers, which I had scarce done before since my
+last husband's death, or from a little while after.  And truly I
+may well call it saying my prayers, for I was in such a confusion,
+and had such horror upon my mind, that though I cried, and
+repeated several times the ordinary expression of 'Lord, have
+mercy upon me!' I never brought myself to any sense of my
+being a miserable sinner, as indeed I was, and of confessing
+my sins to God, and begging pardon for the sake of Jesus
+Christ.  I was overwhelmed with the sense of my condition,
+being tried for my life, and being sure to be condemned, and
+then I was as sure to be executed, and on this account I cried
+out all night, 'Lord, what will become of me?  Lord! what
+shall I do?  Lord! I shall be hanged!  Lord, have mercy upon
+me!' and the like.
+
+My poor afflicted governess was now as much concerned as
+I, and a great deal more truly penitent, though she had no
+prospect of being brought to trial and sentence.  Not but that
+she deserved it as much as I, and so she said herself; but she
+had not done anything herself for many years, other than
+receiving what I and others stole, and encouraging us to steal
+it.  But she cried, and took on like a distracted body, wringing
+her hands, and crying out that she was undone, that she
+believed there was a curse from heaven upon her, that she
+should be damned, that she had been the destruction of all her
+friends, that she had brought such a one, and such a one, and
+such a one to the gallows; and there she reckoned up ten or
+eleven people, some of which I have given account of, that
+came to untimely ends; and that now she was the occasion
+of my ruin, for she had persuaded me to go on, when I would
+have left off.  I interrupted her there.  'No, mother, no,' said I,
+'don't speak of that, for you would have had me left off when
+I got the mercer's money again, and when I came home from
+Harwich, and I would not hearken to you; therefore you have
+not been to blame; it is I only have ruined myself, I have
+brought myself to this misery'; and thus we spent many hours
+together.
+
+Well, there was no remedy; the prosecution went on, and on
+the Thursday I was carried down to the sessions-house, where
+I was arraigned, as they called it, and the next day I was
+appointed to be tried.  At the arraignment I pleaded 'Not guilty,'
+and well I might, for I was indicted for felony and burglary;
+that is, for feloniously stealing two pieces of brocaded silk,
+value #46, the goods of Anthony Johnson, and for breaking
+open his doors; whereas I knew very well they could not
+pretend to prove I had broken up the doors, or so much as
+lifted up a latch.
+
+On the Friday I was brought to my trial.  I had exhausted my
+spirits with crying for two or three days before, so that I slept
+better the Thursday night than I expected, and had more courage
+for my trial than indeed I thought possible for me to have.
+
+When the trial began, the indictment was read, I would have
+spoke, but they told me the witnesses must be heard first, and
+then I should have time to be heard.  The witnesses were the
+two wenches, a couple of hard-mouthed jades indeed, for
+though the thing was truth in the main, yet they aggravated it
+to the utmost extremity, and swore I had the goods wholly in
+my possession, that I had hid them among my clothes, that I
+was going off with them, that I had one foot over the threshold
+when they discovered themselves, and then I put t' other over,
+so that I was quite out of the house in the street with the goods
+before they took hold of me, and then they seized me, and
+brought me back again, and they took the goods upon me.  The
+fact in general was all true, but I believe, and insisted upon it,
+that they stopped me before I had set my foot clear of the
+threshold of the house.  But that did not argue much, for certain
+it was that I had taken the goods, and I was bringing them away,
+if I had not been taken.
+
+But I pleaded that I had stole nothing, they had lost nothing,
+that the door was open, and I went in, seeing the goods lie
+there, and with design to buy.  If, seeing nobody in the house, I
+had taken any of them up in my hand it could not be concluded
+that I intended to steal them, for that I never carried them
+farther than the door to look on them with the better light.
+
+The Court would not allow that by any means, and made a
+kind of a jest of my intending to buy the goods, that being no
+shop for the selling of anything, and as to carrying them to the
+door to look at them, the maids made their impudent mocks
+upon that, and spent their wit upon it very much; told the
+Court I had looked at them sufficiently, and approved them
+very well, for I had packed them up under my clothes, and
+was a-going with them.
+
+In short, I was found guilty of felony, but acquitted of the
+burglary, which was but small comfort to me, the first bringing
+me to a sentence of death, and the last would have done no
+more.  The next day I was carried down to receive the dreadful
+sentence, and when they came to ask me what I had to say
+why sentence should not pass, I stood mute a while, but
+somebody that stood behind me prompted me aloud to speak
+to the judges, for that they could represent things favourably
+for me.  This encouraged me to speak, and I told them I had
+nothing to say to stop the sentence, but that I had much to say
+to bespeak the mercy of the Court; that I hoped they would
+allow something in such a case for the circumstances of it;
+that I had broken no doors, had carried nothing off; that
+nobody had lost anything; that the person whose goods they
+were was pleased to say he desired mercy might be shown
+(which indeed he very honestly did); that, at the worst, it was
+the first offence, and that I had never been before any court
+of justice before; and, in a word, I spoke with more courage
+that I thought I could have done, and in such a moving tone,
+and though with tears, yet not so many tears as to obstruct my
+speech, that I could see it moved others to tears that heard me.
+
+The judges sat grave and mute, gave me an easy hearing, and
+time to say all that I would, but, saying neither Yes nor No to
+it, pronounced the sentence of death upon me, a sentence that
+was to me like death itself, which, after it was read, confounded
+me.  I had no more spirit left in me, I had no tongue to speak,
+or eyes to look up either to God or man.
+
+My poor governess was utterly disconsolate, and she that was
+my comforter before, wanted comfort now herself; and sometimes
+mourning, sometimes raging, was as much out of herself, as to
+all outward appearance, as any mad woman in Bedlam.  Nor
+was she only disconsolate as to me, but she was struck with
+horror at the sense of her own wicked life, and began to look
+back upon it with a taste quite different from mine, for she
+was penitent to the highest degree for her sins, as well as
+sorrowful for the misfortune.  She sent for a minister, too, a
+serious, pious, good man, and applied herself with such
+earnestness, by his assistance, to the work of a sincere repentance,
+that I believe, and so did the minister too, that she was a true
+penitent; and, which is still more, she was not only so for the
+occasion, and at that juncture, but she continued so, as I was
+informed, to the day of her death.
+
+It is rather to be thought of than expressed what was now my
+condition.  I had nothing before me but present death; and as
+I had no friends to assist me, or to stir for me, I expected
+nothing but to find my name in the dead warrant, which was
+to come down for the execution, the Friday afterwards, of five
+more and myself.
+
+In the meantime my poor distressed governess sent me a
+minister, who at her request first, and at my own afterwards,
+came to visit me.  He exhorted me seriously to repent of all
+my sins, and to dally no longer with my soul; not flattering
+myself with hopes of life, which, he said, he was informed
+there was no room to expect, but unfeignedly to look up to
+God with my whole soul, and to cry for pardon in the name
+of Jesus Christ.  He backed his discourses with proper quotations
+of Scripture, encouraging the greatest sinner to repent, and turn
+from their evil way, and when he had done, he kneeled down
+and prayed with me.
+
+It was now that, for the first time, I felt any real signs of
+repentance.  I now began to look back upon my past life with
+abhorrence, and having a kind of view into the other side of
+time, and things of life, as I believe they do with everybody
+at such a time, began to look with a different aspect, and quite
+another shape, than they did before.  The greatest and best
+things, the views of felicity, the joy, the griefs of life, were
+quite other things; and I had nothing in my thoughts but what
+was so infinitely superior to what I had known in life, that it
+appeared to me to be the greatest stupidity in nature to lay
+any weight upon anything, though the most valuable in this
+world.
+
+The word eternity represented itself with all its incomprehensible
+additions, and I had such extended notions of it, that I know
+not how to express them.  Among the rest, how vile, how gross,
+how absurd did every pleasant thing look!--I mean, that we
+had counted pleasant before--especially when I reflected that
+these sordid trifles were the things for which we forfeited
+eternal felicity.
+
+With these reflections came, of mere course, severe reproaches
+of my own mind for my wretched behaviour in my past life;
+that I had forfeited all hope of any happiness in the eternity
+that I was just going to enter into, and on the contrary was
+entitled to all that was miserable, or had been conceived of
+misery; and all this with the frightful addition of its being
+also eternal.
+
+I am not capable of reading lectures of instruction to anybody,
+but I relate this in the very manner in which things then
+appeared to me, as far as I am able, but infinitely short of the
+lively impressions which they made on my soul at that time;
+indeed, those impressions are not to be explained by words,
+or if they are, I am not mistress of words enough to express
+them.  It must be the work of every sober reader to make just
+reflections on them, as their own circumstances may direct;
+and, without question, this is what every one at some time or
+other may feel something of; I mean, a clearer sight into things
+to come than they had here, and a dark view of their own
+concern in them.
+
+But I go back to my own case.  The minister pressed me to
+tell him, as far as I though convenient, in what state I found
+myself as to the sight I had of things beyond life.  He told me
+he did not come as ordinary of the place, whose business it
+is to extort confessions from prisoners, for private ends, or
+for the further detecting of other offenders; that his business
+was to move me to such freedom of discourse as might serve
+to disburthen my own mind, and furnish him to administer
+comfort to me as far as was in his power; and assured me,
+that whatever I said to him should remain with him, and be
+as much a secret as if it was known only to God and myself;
+and that he desired to know nothing of me, but as above to
+qualify him to apply proper advice and assistance to me, and
+to pray to God for me.
+
+This honest, friendly way of treating me unlocked all the
+sluices of my passions.  He broke into my very soul by it; and
+I unravelled all the wickedness of my life to him. In a word, I
+gave him an abridgment of this whole history; I gave him a
+picture of my conduct for fifty years in miniature.
+
+I hid nothing from him, and he in return exhorted me to sincere
+repentance, explained to me what he meant by repentance, and
+then drew out such a scheme of infinite mercy, proclaimed
+from heaven to sinners of the greatest magnitude, that he left
+me nothing to say, that looked like despair, or doubting of
+being accepted; and in this condition he left me the first night.
+
+He visited me again the next morning, and went on with his
+method of explaining the terms of divine mercy, which
+according to him consisted of nothing more, or more difficult,
+than that of being sincerely desirous of it, and willing to accept
+it; only a sincere regret for, and hatred of, those things I had
+done, which rendered me so just an object of divine vengeance.
+I am not able to repeat the excellent discourses of this
+extraordinary man; 'tis all that I am able to do, to say that he
+revived my heart, and brought me into such a condition that
+I never knew anything of in my life before.  I was covered
+with shame and tears for things past, and yet had at the same
+time a secret surprising joy at the prospect of being a true
+penitent, and obtaining the comfort of a penitent--I mean, the
+hope of being forgiven; and so swift did thoughts circulate,
+and so high did the impressions they had made upon me run,
+that I thought I could freely have gone out that minute to
+execution, without any uneasiness at all, casting my soul
+entirely into the arms of infinite mercy as a penitent.
+
+The good gentleman was so moved also in my behalf with a
+view of the influence which he saw these things had on me,
+that he blessed God he had come to visit me, and resolved not
+to leave me till the last moment; that is, not to leave visiting me.
+
+It was no less than twelve days after our receiving sentence
+before any were ordered for execution, and then upon a
+Wednesday the dead warrant, as they call it, came down, and
+I found my name was among them.  A terrible blow this was
+to my new resolutions; indeed my heart sank within me, and
+I swooned away twice, one after another, but spoke not a word.
+The good minister was sorely afflicted for me, and did what he
+could to comfort me with the same arguments, and the same
+moving eloquence that he did before, and left me not that
+evening so long as the prisonkeepers would suffer him to stay
+in the prison, unless he would be locked up with me all night,
+which he was not willing to be.
+
+I wondered much that I did not see him all the next day, it
+being the day before the time appointed for execution; and I
+was greatly discouraged, and dejected in my mind, and indeed
+almost sank for want of the comfort which he had so often,
+and with such success, yielded me on his former visits.  I
+waited with great impatience, and under the greatest oppressions
+of spirits imaginable, till about four o'clock he came to my
+apartment; for I had obtained the favour, by the help of money,
+nothing being to be done in that place without it, not to be
+kept in the condemned hole, as they call it, among the rest of
+the prisoners who were to die, but to have a little dirty
+chamber to myself.
+
+My heart leaped within me for joy when I heard his voice at
+the door, even before I saw him; but let any one judge what
+kind of motion I found in my soul, when after having made a
+short excuse for his not coming, he showed me that his time
+had been employed on my account; that he had obtained a
+favourable report from the Recorder to the Secretary of State
+in my particular case, and, in short, that he had brought me
+a reprieve.
+
+He used all the caution that he was able in letting me know
+a thing which it would have been a double cruelty to have
+concealed; and yet it was too much for me; for as grief had
+overset me before, so did joy overset me now, and I fell into
+a much more dangerous swooning than I did at first, and it
+was not without a great difficulty that I was recovered at all.
+
+The good man having made a very Christian exhortation to
+me, not to let the joy of my reprieve put the remembrance of
+my past sorrow out of my mind, and having told me that he
+must leave me, to go and enter the reprieve in the books, and
+show it to the sheriffs, stood up just before his going away,
+and in a very earnest manner prayed to God for me, that my
+repentance might be made unfeigned and sincere; and that
+my coming back, as it were, into life again, might not be a
+returning to the follies of life which I had made such solemn
+resolutions to forsake, and to repent of them.  I joined heartily
+in the petition, and must needs say I had deeper impressions
+upon my mind all that night, of the mercy of God in sparing
+my life, and a greater detestation of my past sins, from a sense
+of the goodness which I had tasted in this case, than I had in
+all my sorrow before.
+
+This may be thought inconsistent in itself, and wide from the
+business of this book; particularly, I reflect that many of those
+who may be pleased and diverted with the relation of the wild
+and wicked part of my story may not relish this, which is
+really the best part of my life, the most advantageous to myself,
+and the most instructive to others.  Such, however, will, I hope,
+allow me the liberty to make my story complete.  It would be
+a severe satire on such to say they do not relish the repentance
+as much as they do the crime; and that they had rather the
+history were a complete tragedy, as it was very likely to have been.
+
+But I go on with my relation.  The next morning there was a
+sad scene indeed in the prison.  The first thing I was saluted
+with in the morning was the tolling of the great bell at St.
+Sepulchre's, as they call it, which ushered in the day.  As soon
+as it began to toll, a dismal groaning and crying was heard
+from the condemned hole, where there lay six poor souls who
+were to be executed that day, some from one crime, some for
+another, and two of them for murder.
+
+This was followed by a confused clamour in the house, among
+the several sorts of prisoners, expressing their awkward sorrows
+for the poor creatures that were to die, but in a manner extremely
+differing one from another.  Some cried for them; some huzzaed,
+and wished them a good journey; some damned and cursed those
+that had brought them to it--that is, meaning the evidence, or
+prosecutors--many pitying them, and some few, but very few,
+praying for them.
+
+There was hardly room for so much composure of mind as
+was required for me to bless the merciful Providence that had,
+as it were, snatched me out of the jaws of this destruction.  I
+remained, as it were, dumb and silent, overcome with the
+sense of it, and not able to express what I had in my heart; for
+the passions on such occasions as these are certainly so agitated
+as not to be able presently to regulate their own motions.
+
+All the while the poor condemned creatures were preparing
+to their death, and the ordinary, as they call him, was busy
+with them, disposing them to submit to their sentence--I say,
+all this while I was seized with a fit of trembling, as much as
+I could have been if I had been in the same condition, as to be
+sure the day before I expected to be; I was so violently agitated
+by this surprising fit, that I shook as if it had been in the cold
+fit of an ague, so that I could not speak or look but like one
+distracted.  As soon as they were all put into carts and gone,
+which, however, I had not courage enough to see--I say, as
+soon as they were gone, I fell into a fit of crying involuntarily,
+and without design, but as a mere distemper, and yet so violent,
+and it held me so long, that I knew not what course to take,
+nor could I stop, or put a check to it, no, not with all the
+strength and courage I had.
+
+This fit of crying held me near two hours, and, as I believe,
+held me till they were all out of the world, and then a most
+humble, penitent, serious kind of joy succeeded; a real transport
+it was, or passion of joy and thankfulness, but still unable to
+give vent to it by words, and in this I continued most part of
+the day.
+
+In the evening the good minister visited me again, and then
+fell to his usual good discourses.  He congratulated my having
+a space yet allowed me for repentance, whereas the state of
+those six poor creatures was determined, and they were now
+past the offers of salvation; he earnestly pressed me to retain
+the same sentiments of the things of life that I had when I had
+a view of eternity; and at the end of all told me I should not
+conclude that all was over, that a reprieve was not a pardon,
+that he could not yet answer for the effects of it; however, I
+had this mercy, that I had more time given me, and that it was
+my business to improve that time.
+
+This discourse, though very seasonable, left a kind of sadness
+on my  heart, as if I might expect the affair would have a
+tragical issue still, which, however, he had no certainty of;
+and I did not indeed, at that time, question him about it, he
+having said that he would do his utmost to bring it to a good
+end, and that he hoped he might, but he would not have me
+be secure; and the consequence proved that he had reason for
+what he said.
+
+It was about a fortnight after this that I had some just apprehensions
+that I should be included in the next dead warrant at the ensuing
+sessions; and it was not without great difficulty, and at last a
+humble petition for transportation, that I avoided it, so ill was
+I beholding to fame, and so prevailing was the fatal report of
+being an old offender; though in that they did not do me strict
+justice, for I was not in the sense of the law an old offender,
+whatever I was in the eye of the judge, for I had never been
+before them in a judicial way before; so the judges could not
+charge me with being an old offender, but the Recorder was
+pleased to represent my case as he thought fit.
+
+I had now a certainty of life indeed, but with the hard conditions
+of being ordered for transportation, which indeed was hard
+condition in itself, but not when comparatively considered;
+and therefore I shall make no comments upon the sentence,
+nor upon the choice I was put to.  We shall all choose anything
+rather than death, especially when 'tis attended with an
+uncomfortable prospect beyond it, which was my case.
+
+The good minister, whose interest, though a stranger to me,
+had obtained me the reprieve, mourned sincerely for this part.
+He was in hopes, he said, that I should have ended my days
+under the influence of good instruction, that I should not have
+been turned loose again among such a wretched crew as they
+generally are, who are thus sent abroad, where, as he said, I
+must have more than ordinary secret assistance from the grace
+of God, if I did not turn as wicked again as ever.
+
+I have not for a good while mentioned my governess, who
+had during most, if not all, of this part been dangerously sick,
+and being in as near a view of death by her disease as I was
+by my sentence, was a great penitent--I say, I have not mentioned
+her, nor indeed did I see her in all this time; but being now
+recovering, and just able to come abroad, she came to see me.
+
+I told her my condition, and what a different flux and reflux
+of tears and hopes I had been agitated with; I told her what I
+had escaped, and upon what terms; and she was present when
+the minister expressed his fears of my relapsing into wickedness
+upon my falling into the wretched companies that are generally
+transported.  Indeed I had a melancholy reflection upon it in
+my own mind, for I knew what a dreadful gang was always
+sent away together, and I said to my governess that the good
+minister's fears were not without cause.  'Well, well,' says  she,
+'but I hope you will not be tempted with such a horrid example
+as that.'  And as soon as the minister was gone, she told me she
+would not have me discouraged, for perhaps ways and means
+might be found out to dispose of me in a particular way, by
+myself, of which she would talk further to me afterward.
+
+I looked earnestly at her, and I thought she looked more cheerful
+than she usually had done, and I entertained immediately a
+thousand notions of being delivered, but could not for my life
+image the methods, or think of one that was in the least feasible;
+but I was too much concerned in it to let her go from me without
+explaining herself, which, though she was very loth to do, yet
+my importunity prevailed, and, while I was still pressing, she
+answered me in a few words, thus:  'Why, you have money,
+have you not?  Did you ever know one in your life that was
+transported and had a hundred pounds in his pocket, I'll warrant
+you, child?' says she.
+
+I understood her presently, but told her I would leave all that
+to her, but I saw no room to hope for anything but a strict
+execution of the order, and as it was a severity that was
+esteemed a mercy, there was no doubt but it would be strictly
+observed.  She said no more but this:  'We will try what can
+be done,' and so we parted for that night.
+
+I lay in the prison near fifteen weeks after this order for
+transportation was signed.  What the reason of it was, I know
+not, but at the end of this time I was put on board of a ship in
+the Thames, and with me a gang of thirteen as hardened vile
+creatures as ever Newgate produced in my time; and it would
+really well take up a history longer than mine to describe the
+degrees of impudence and audacious villainy that those thirteen
+were arrived to, and the manner of their behaviour in the
+voyage; of which I have a very diverting account by me, which
+the captain of the ship who carried them over gave me the
+minutes of, and which he caused his mate to write down at large.
+
+It may perhaps be thought trifling to enter here into a relation
+of all the little incidents which attended me in this interval of
+my circumstances; I mean, between the final order of my
+transportation and the time of my going on board the ship; and
+I am too near the end of my story to allow room for it; but
+something relating to me and my Lancashire husband I must
+not omit.
+
+He had, as I have observed already, been carried from the
+master's side of the ordinary prison into the press-yard, with
+three of his comrades, for they found another to add to them
+after some time; here, for what reason I knew not, they were
+kept in custody without being brought to trial almost three
+months.  It seems they found means to bribe or buy off some
+of those who were expected to come in against them, and they
+wanted evidence for some time to convict them.  After some
+puzzle on this account, at first they made a shift to get proof
+enough against two of them to carry them off; but the other
+two, of which my Lancashire husband was one, lay still in
+suspense.  They had, I think, one positive evidence against
+each of them, but the law strictly obliging them to have two
+witnesses, they could make nothing of it.  Yet it seems they
+were resolved not to part with the men neither, not doubting
+but a further evidence would at last come in; and in order to
+this, I think publication was made, that such prisoners being
+taken, any one that had been robbed by them might come to
+the prison and see them.
+
+I took this opportunity to satisfy my curiosity, pretending that
+I had been robbed in the Dunstable coach, and that I would go
+to see the two highwaymen.  But when I came into the press-yard,
+I so disguised myself, and muffled my face up so, that he could
+see little of me, and consequently knew nothing of who I was;
+and when I came back, I said publicly that I knew them very well.
+
+Immediately it was rumoured all over the prison that Moll
+Flanders would turn evidence against one of the highwaymen,
+and that I was to come off by it from the sentence of transportation.
+
+They heard of it, and immediately my husband desired to see
+this Mrs. Flanders that knew him so well, and was to be an
+evidence against him; and accordingly I had leave given to go
+to him.  I dressed myself up as well as the best clothes that I
+suffered myself ever to appear in there would allow me, and
+went to the press-yard, but had for some time a hood over my
+face.  He said little to me at first, but asked me if I knew him.
+I told him, Yes, very well; but as I concealed my face, so I
+counterfeited my voice, that he had not the least guess at who
+I was.  He asked me where I had seen him.  I told him between
+Dunstable and Brickhill; but turning to the keeper that stood
+by, I asked if I might not be admitted to talk with him alone.
+He said Yes, yes, as much as I pleased, and so very civilly
+withdrew.
+
+As soon as he was gone, I had shut the door, I threw off my
+hood, and bursting out into tears, 'My dear,' says I, 'do you not
+know me?'  He turned pale, and stood speechless, like one
+thunderstruck, and, not able to conquer the surprise, said no
+more but this, 'Let me sit down'; and sitting down by a table,
+he laid his elbow upon the table, and leaning his head on his
+hand, fixed his eyes on the ground as one stupid.  I cried so
+vehemently, on the other hand, that it was a good while ere I
+could speak any more; but after I had given some vent to my
+passion by tears, I repeated the same words, 'My dear, do you
+not know me?'  At which he answered, Yes, and said no more
+a good while.
+
+After some time continuing in the surprise, as above, he cast
+up his eyes towards me and said, 'How could you be so cruel?'
+I did not readily understand what he meant; and I answered,
+'How can you call me cruel?  What have I been cruel to you in?'
+'To come to me,' says he, 'in such a place as this, is it not to
+insult me?  I have not robbed you, at least not on the highway.'
+
+I perceived by this that he knew nothing of the miserable
+circumstances I was in, and thought that, having got some
+intelligence of his being there, I had come to upbraid him
+with his leaving me.  But I had too much to say to him to be
+affronted, and told him in few words, that I was far from
+coming to insult him, but at best I came to condole mutually;
+that he would be easily satisfied that I had no such view,
+when I should tell him that my condition was worse than his,
+and that many ways.  He looked a little concerned at the
+general expression of my condition being worse than his, but,
+with a kind smile, looked a little wildly, and said, 'How can
+that be?  When you see me fettered, and in Newgate, and two
+of my companions executed already, can you can your condition
+is worse than mine?'
+
+'Come, my dear,' says I, 'we have a long piece of work to do,
+if I should be to relate, or you to hear, my unfortunate history;
+but if you are disposed to hear it, you will soon conclude with
+me that my condition is worse than yours.'  'How is that possible,'
+says he again, 'when I expect to be cast for my life the very
+next sessions?'  'Yes, says I, ''tis very possible, when I shall
+tell you that I have been cast for my life three sessions ago,
+and am under sentence of death; is not my case worse than yours?'
+
+Then indeed, he stood silent again, like one struck dumb, and
+after a while he starts up.  'Unhappy couple!' says he.  'How
+can this be possible?'  I took him by the hand.  'Come, my
+dear,' said I, 'sit down, and let us compare our sorrows.  I am
+a prisoner in this very house, and in much worse circumstances
+than you, and you will be satisfied I do not come to insult you,
+when I tell you the particulars.'  Any with this we sat down
+together, and I told him so much of my story as I thought was
+convenient, bringing it at last to my being reduced to great
+poverty, and representing myself as fallen into some company
+that led me to relieve my distresses by way that I had been
+utterly unacquainted with, and that they making an attempt at
+a tradesman's house, I was seized upon for having been but
+just at the door, the maid-servant pulling me in; that I neither
+had broke any lock nor taken anything away, and that
+notwithstanding that, I was brought in guilty and sentenced
+to die; but that the judges, having been made sensible of the
+hardship of my circumstances, had obtained leave to remit the
+sentence upon my consenting to be transported.
+
+I told him I fared the worse for being taken in the prison for
+one Moll Flanders, who was a famous successful thief, that
+all of them had heard of, but none of them had ever seen; but
+that, as he knew well, was none of my name.  But I placed all
+to the account of my ill fortune, and that under this name I
+was dealt with as an old offender, though this was the first
+thing they had ever known of me.  I gave him a long particular
+of things that had befallen me since I saw him, but I told him
+if I had seen him since he might think I had, and then gave
+him an account how I had seen him at Brickhill; how furiously
+he was pursued, and how, by giving an account that I knew
+him, and that he was a very honest gentleman, one Mr. ----,
+the hue-and-cry was stopped, and the high constable went
+back again.
+
+He listened most attentively to all my story, and smiled at
+most of the particulars, being all of them petty matters, and
+infinitely below what he had been at the head of; but when I
+came to the story of Brickhill, he was surprised.  'And was it
+you, my dear,' said he, 'that gave the check to the mob that
+was at our heels there, at Brickhill?'  'Yes,' said I, 'it was I
+indeed.'  And then I told him the particulars which I had
+observed him there.  'Why, then,' said he, 'it was you that
+saved my life at that time, and I am glad I owe my life to you,
+for I will pay the debt to you now, and I'll deliver you from
+the present condition you are in, or I will die in the attempt.'
+
+I told him, by no means; it was a risk too great, not worth his
+running the hazard of, and for a life not worth his saving.
+'Twas no matter for that, he said, it was a life worth all the
+world to him; a life that had given him a new life; 'for,' says
+he, 'I was never in real danger of being taken, but that time,
+till the last minute when I was taken.'  Indeed, he told me his
+danger then lay in his believing he had not been pursued that
+way; for they had gone from Hockey quite another way, and
+had come over the enclosed country into Brickhill, not by the
+road, and were sure they had not been seen by anybody.
+
+Here he gave me a long history of his life, which indeed would
+make a very strange history, and be infinitely diverting.  He
+told me he took to the road about twelve years before he
+married me; that the woman which called him brother was not
+really his sister, or any kin to him, but one that belonged to
+their gang, and who, keeping correspondence with him, lived
+always in town, having good store of acquaintance; that she
+gave them a perfect intelligence of persons going out of town,
+and that they had made several good booties by her correspondence;
+that she thought she had fixed a fortune for him when she brought
+me to him, but happened to be disappointed, which he really
+could not blame her for; that if it had been his good luck that
+I had had the estate, which she was informed I had, he had
+resolved to leave off the road and live a retired, sober live but
+never to appear in public till some general pardon had been
+passed, or till he could, for money, have got his name into
+some particular pardon, that so he might have been perfectly
+easy; but that, as it had proved otherwise, he was obliged to
+put off his equipage and take up the old trade again.
+
+He gave me a long account of some of his adventures, and
+particularly one when he robbed the West Chester coaches
+near Lichfield, when he got a very great booty; and after that,
+how he robbed five graziers, in the west, going to Burford Fair
+in Wiltshire to buy sheep.  He told me he got so much money
+on those two occasions, that if he had known where to have
+found me, he would certainly have embraced my proposal of
+going with me to Virginia, or to have settled in a plantation
+on some other parts of the English colonies in America.
+
+He told me he wrote two or three letters to me, directed
+according to my order, but heard nothing from me.  This I
+indeed knew to be true, but the letters coming to my hand in
+the time of my latter husband, I could do nothing in it, and
+therefore chose to give no answer, that so he might rather
+believe they had miscarried.
+
+Being thus disappointed, he said, he carried on the old trade
+ever since, though when he had gotten so much money, he
+said, he did not run such desperate risks as he did before.
+Then he gave me some account of several hard and desperate
+encounters which he had with gentlemen on the road, who
+parted too hardly with their money, and showed me some
+wounds he had received; and he had one or two very terrible
+wounds indeed, as particularly one by a pistol bullet, which
+broke his arm, and another with a sword, which ran him quite
+through the body, but that missing his vitals, he was cured
+again; one of his comrades having kept with him so faithfully,
+and so friendly, as that he assisted him in riding near eighty
+miles before his arm was set, and then got a surgeon in a
+considerable city, remote from that place where it was done,
+pretending they were gentlemen travelling towards Carlisle
+and that they had been attacked on the road by highwaymen,
+and that one of them had shot him into the arm and broke
+the bone.
+
+This, he said, his friend managed so well, that they were not
+suspected at all, but lay still till he was perfectly cured.  He
+gave me so many distinct accounts of his adventures, that it
+is with great reluctance that I decline the relating them; but I
+consider that this is my own story, not his.
+
+I then inquired into the circumstances of his present case at
+that time, and what it was he expected when he came to be
+tried.  He told me that they had no evidence against him, or
+but very little; for that of three robberies, which they were all
+charged with, it was his good fortune that he was but in one
+of them, and that there was but one witness to be had for that
+fact, which was not sufficient, but that it was expected some
+others would come in against him; that he thought indeed,
+when he first saw me, that I had been one that came of that
+errand; but that if somebody came in against him, he hoped
+he should be cleared; that he had had some intimation, that if
+he would submit to transport himself, he might be admitted
+to it without a trial, but that he could not think of it with any
+temper, and thought he could much easier submit to be hanged.
+
+I blamed him for that, and told him I blamed him on two
+accounts; first, because if he was transported, there might be
+a hundred ways for him that was a gentleman, and a bold
+enterprising man, to find his way back again, and perhaps
+some ways and means to come back before he went.  He
+smiled at that part, and said he should like the last the best of
+the two, for he had a kind of horror upon his mind at his being
+sent over to the plantations, as Romans sent condemned
+slaves to work in the mines; that he thought the passage into
+another state, let it be what it would, much more tolerable at
+the gallows, and that this was the general notion of all the
+gentlemen who were driven by the exigence of their fortunes
+to take the road; that at the place of execution there was at
+least an end of all the miseries of the present state, and as for
+what was to follow, a man was, in his opinion, as likely to
+repent sincerely in the last fortnight of his life, under the
+pressures and agonies of a jail and the condemned hole, as he
+would ever be in the woods and wilderness of America; that
+servitude and hard labour were things gentlemen could never
+stoop to; that it was but the way to force them to be their own
+executioners afterwards, which was much worse; and that
+therefore he could not have any patience when he did but
+think of being transported.
+
+I used the utmost of my endeavour to persuade him, and joined
+that known woman's rhetoric to it--I mean, that of tears.  I told
+him the infamy of a public execution was certainly a greater
+pressure upon the spirits of a gentleman than any of the
+mortifications that he could meet with abroad could be; that
+he had at least in the other a chance for his life, whereas here
+he had none at all; that it was the easiest thing in the world
+for him to manage the captain of a ship, who were, generally
+speaking, men of good-humour and some gallantry; and a
+small matter of conduct, especially if there was any money
+to be had, would make way for him to buy himself off when
+he came to Virginia.
+
+He looked wistfully at me, and I thought I guessed at what he
+meant, that is to say, that he had no money; but I was mistaken,
+his meaning was another way.  'You hinted just now, my dear,'
+said he, 'that there might be a way of coming back before I
+went, by which I understood you that it might be possible to
+buy it off here.  I had rather give #200 to prevent going, than
+#100 to be set at liberty when I came there.'  'That is, my dear,'
+said I, 'because you do not know the place so well as I do.'
+'That may be,' said he; 'and yet I believe, as well as you know
+it, you would do the same, unless it is because, as you told
+me, you have a mother there.'
+
+I told him, as to my mother, it was next to impossible but
+that she must be dead many years before; and as for any other
+relations that I might have there, I knew them not now; that
+since the misfortunes I had been under had reduced me to the
+condition I had been in for some years, I had not kept up any
+correspondence with them; and that he would easily believe,
+I should find but a cold reception from them if I should be
+put to make my first visit in the condition of a transported
+felon; that therefore, if I went thither, I resolved not to see
+them; but that I had many views in going there, if it should be
+my fate, which took off all the uneasy part of it; and if he
+found himself obliged to go also, I should easily instruct him
+how to manage himself, so as never to go a servant at all,
+especially since I found he was not destitute of money, which
+was the only friend in such a condition.
+
+He smiled, and said he did not tell me he had money.  I took
+him up short, and told him I hoped he did not understand by
+my speaking, that I should expect any supply from him if he
+had money; that, on the other hand, though I had not a great
+deal, yet I did not want, and while I had any I would rather
+add to him than weaken him in that article, seeing, whatever
+he had, I knew in the case of transportation he would have
+occasion of it all.
+
+He expressed himself in a most tender manner upon that head.
+He told me what money he had was not a great deal, but that
+he would never hide any of it from me if I wanted it, and that
+he assured me he did not speak with any such apprehensions;
+that he was only intent upon what I had hinted to him before
+he went; that here he knew what to do with himself, but that
+there he should be the most ignorant, helpless wretch alive.
+
+I told him he frighted and terrified himself with that which
+had no terror in it; that if he had money, as I was glad to hear
+he had, he might not only avoid the servitude supposed to be
+the consequence of transportation, but begin the world upon
+a new foundation, and that such a one as he could not fail of
+success in, with the common application usual in such cases;
+that he could not but call to mind that is was what I had
+recommended to him many years before and had proposed it
+for our mutual subsistence and restoring our fortunes in the
+world; and I would tell him now, that to convince him both
+of the certainty of it and of my being fully acquainted with the
+method, and also fully satisfied in the probability of success,
+he should first see me deliver myself from the necessity of
+going over at all, and then that I would go with him freely,
+and of my own choice, and perhaps carry enough with me to
+satisfy him that I did not offer it for want of being able to live
+without assistance from him, but that I thought our mutual
+misfortunes had been such as were sufficient to reconcile us
+both to quitting this part of the world, and living where
+nobody could upbraid us with what was past, or we be in any
+dread of a prison, and without agonies of a condemned hole
+to drive us to it; this where we should look back on all our
+past disasters with infinite satisfaction, when we should
+consider that our enemies should entirely forget us, and that
+we should live as new people in a new world, nobody having
+anything to say to us, or we to them.
+
+I pressed this home to him with so many arguments, and
+answered all his own passionate objections so effectually that
+he embraced me, and told me I treated him with such sincerity
+and affection as overcame him; that he would take my advice,
+and would strive to submit to his fate in hope of having the
+comfort of my assistance, and of so faithful a counsellor and
+such a companion in his misery.  But still he put me in mind
+of what I had mentioned before, namely, that there might be
+some way to get off before he went, and that it might be
+possible to avoid going at all, which he said would be much
+better.  I told him he should see, and be fully satisfied, that I
+would do my utmost in that part too, and if it did not succeed,
+yet that I would make good the rest.
+
+We parted after this long conference with such testimonies of
+kindness and affection as I thought were equal, if not superior,
+to that at our parting at Dunstable; and now I saw more plainly
+than before, the reason why he declined coming at that time
+any farther with me toward London than Dunstable, and why,
+when we parted there, he told me it was not convenient for
+him to come part of the way to London to bring me going, as
+he would otherwise have done.  I have observed that the
+account of his life would have made a much more pleasing
+history than this of mine; and, indeed, nothing in it was more
+strange than this part, viz. that he carried on that desperate
+trade full five-and-twenty years and had never been taken,
+the success he had met with had been so very uncommon, and
+such that sometimes he had lived handsomely, and retired in
+place for a year or two at a time, keeping himself and a
+man-servant to wait on him, and had often sat in the
+coffee-houses and heard the very people whom he had robbed
+give accounts of their being robbed, and of the place and
+circumstances, so that he could easily remember that it was
+the same.
+
+In this manner, it seems, he lived near Liverpool at the time
+he unluckily married me for a fortune.  Had I been the fortune
+he expected, I verily believe, as he said, that he would have
+taken up and lived honestly all his days.
+
+He had with the rest of his misfortunes the good luck not to
+be actually upon the spot when the robbery was done which
+he was committed for, and so none of the persons robbed
+could swear to him, or had anything to charge upon him.  But
+it seems as he was taken with the gang, one hard-mouthed
+countryman swore home to him, and they were like to have
+others come in according to the publication they had made;
+so that they expected more evidence against him, and for that
+reason he was kept in hold.
+
+However, the offer which was made to him of admitting him to
+transportation was made, as I understood, upon the intercession
+of some great person who pressed him hard to accept of it before
+a trial; and indeed, as he knew there were several that might
+come in against him, I thought his friend was in the right, and
+I lay at him night and day to delay it no longer.
+
+At last, with much difficulty, he gave his consent; and as he
+was not therefore admitted to transportation in court, and on
+his petition, as I was, so he found himself under a difficulty
+to avoid embarking himself as I had said he might have done;
+his great friend, who was his intercessor for the favour of that
+grant, having given security for him that he should transport
+himself, and not return within the term.
+
+This hardship broke all my measures, for the steps I took
+afterwards for my own deliverance were hereby rendered
+wholly ineffectual, unless I would abandon him, and leave
+him to go to America by himself; than which he protested he
+would much rather venture, although he were certain to go
+directly to the gallows.
+
+I must now return to my case.  The time of my being transported
+according to my sentence was near at hand; my governess, who
+continued my fast friend, had tried to obtain a pardon, but it
+could not be done unless with an expense too heavy for my
+purse, considering that to be left naked and empty, unless I had
+resolved to return to my old trade again, had been worse than
+my transportation, because there I knew I could live, here I
+could not.  The good minister stood very hard on another
+account to prevent my being transported also; but he was
+answered, that indeed my life had been given me at his first
+solicitations, and therefore he ought to ask no more. He was
+sensibly grieved at my going, because, as he said, he feared I
+should lose the good impressions which a prospect of death
+had at first made on me, and which were since increased by
+his instructions; and the pious gentleman was exceedingly
+concerned about me on that account.
+
+On the other hand, I really was not so solicitous about it as I
+was before, but I industriously concealed my reasons for it
+from the minister, and to the last he did not know but that I
+went with the utmost reluctance and affliction.
+
+It was in the month of February that I was, with seven other
+convicts, as they called us, delivered to a merchant that traded
+to Virginia, on board a ship, riding, as they called it, in
+Deptford Reach.  The officer of the prison delivered us on
+board, and the master of the vessel gave a discharge for us.
+
+We were for that night clapped under hatches, and kept so
+close that I thought I should have been suffocated for want
+of air; and the next morning the ship weighed, and fell down
+the river to a place they call Bugby's Hole, which was done,
+as they told us, by the agreement of the merchant, that all
+opportunity of escape should be taken from us.  However,
+when the ship came thither and cast anchor, we were allowed
+more liberty, and particularly were permitted to come up on
+the deck, but not up on the quarter-deck, that being kept
+particularly for the captain and for passengers.
+
+When by the noise of the men over my head, and the motion
+of the ship, I perceived that they were under sail, I was at first
+greatly surprised, fearing we should go away directly, and that
+our friends would not be admitted to see us any more; but I
+was easy soon after, when I found they had come to an anchor
+again, and soon after that we had notice given by some of the
+men where we were, that the next morning we should have
+the liberty to come up on deck, and to have our friends come
+and see us if we had any.
+
+All that night I lay upon the hard boards of the deck, as the
+passengers did, but we had afterwards the liberty of little
+cabins for such of us as had any bedding to lay in them, and
+room to stow any box or trunk for clothes and linen, if we
+had it (which might well be put in), for some of them had
+neither shirt nor shift or a rag of linen or woollen, but what
+was on their backs, or a farthing of money to help themselves;
+and yet I did not find but they fared well enough in the ship,
+especially the women, who got money from the seamen for
+washing their clothes, sufficient to  purchase any common
+things that they wanted.
+
+When the next morning we had the liberty to come up on the
+deck, I asked one of the officers of the ship, whether I might
+not have the liberty to send a letter on shore, to let my friends
+know where the ship lay, and to get some necessary things
+sent to me.  This was, it seems, the boatswain, a very civil,
+courteous sort of man, who told me I should have that, or any
+other liberty that I desired, that he could allow me with safety.
+ I told him I desired no other; and he answered that the ship's
+boat would go up to London the next tide, and he would order
+my letter to be carried.
+
+Accordingly, when the boat went off, the boatswain came to
+me and told me the boat was going off, and that he went in it
+himself, and asked me if my letter was ready he would take
+care of it.  I had prepared myself, you may be sure, pen, ink,
+and paper beforehand, and I had gotten a letter ready directed
+to my governess, and enclosed another for my fellow-prisoner,
+which, however, I did not let her know was my husband, not
+to the last.  In that to my governess, I let her know where the
+ship lay, and pressed her earnestly to send me what things I
+knew she had got ready for me for my voyage.
+
+When I gave the boatswain the letter, I gave him a shilling
+with it, which I told him was for the charge of a messenger
+or porter, which I entreated him to send with the letter as
+soon as he came on shore, that if possible I might have an
+answer brought back by the same hand, that I might know
+what was become of my things; 'for sir,' says I, 'if the ship
+should go away before I have them on board, I am undone.'
+
+I took care, when I gave him the shilling, to let him see that
+I had a little better furniture about me than the ordinary
+prisoners, for he saw that I had a purse, and in it a pretty deal
+of money; and I found that the very sight of it immediately
+furnished me with very different treatment from what I should
+otherwise have met with in the ship; for though he was very
+courteous indeed before, in a kind of natural compassion to
+me, as a woman in distress, yet he was more than ordinarily
+so afterwards, and procured me to be better treated in the ship
+than, I say, I might otherwise have been; as shall appear in
+its place.
+
+He very honestly had my letter delivered to my governess's
+own hands, and brought me back an answer from her in writing;
+and when he gave me the answer, gave me the shilling again.
+'There,' says he, 'there's your shilling again too, for I delivered
+the letter myself.'  I could not tell what to say, I was so surprised
+at the thing; but after some pause, I said, 'Sir, you are too kind;
+it had been but reasonable that you had paid yourself coach-hire,
+then.'
+
+'No, no,' says he, 'I am overpaid.  What is the gentlewoman?
+Your sister.'
+
+'No, sir,' says I, 'she is no relation to me, but she is a dear
+friend, and all the friends I have in the world.'  'Well,' says
+he, 'there are few such friends in the world.  Why, she cried
+after you like a child,'  'Ay,' says I again, 'she would give a
+hundred pounds, I believe, to deliver me from this dreadful
+condition I am in.'
+
+'Would she so?' says he.  'For half the money I believe I could
+put you in a way how to deliver yourself.'  But this he spoke
+softly, that nobody could hear.
+
+'Alas! sir,' said I, 'but then that must be such a deliverance
+as, if I should be taken again, would cost me my life.'  'Nay,'
+said he, 'if you were once out of the ship, you must look to
+yourself afterwards; that I can say nothing to.'  So we dropped
+the discourse for that time.
+
+In the meantime, my governess, faithful to the last moment,
+conveyed my letter to the prison to my husband, and got an
+answer to it, and the next day came down herself to the ship,
+bringing me, in the first place, a sea-bed as they call it, and
+all its furniture, such as was convenient, but not to let the
+people think it was extraordinary.  She brought with her a
+sea-chest--that is, a chest, such as are made for seamen, with
+all the conveniences in it, and filled with everything almost
+that I could want; and in one of the corners of the chest, where
+there was a private drawer, was my bank of money--this is to
+say, so much of it as I had resolved to carry with me; for I
+ordered a part of my stock to be left behind me, to be sent
+afterwards in such goods as I should want when I came to
+settle; for money in that country is not of much use where all
+things are brought for tobacco, much more is it a great loss
+to carry it from hence.
+
+But my case was particular; it was by no means proper to me
+to go thither without money or goods, and for a poor convict,
+that was to be sold as soon as I came on shore, to carry with
+me a cargo of goods would be to have notice taken of it, and
+perhaps to have them seized by the public; so I took part of my
+stock with me thus, and left the other part with my governess.
+
+My governess brought me a great many other things, but it
+was not proper for me to look too well provided in the ship,
+at least till I knew what kind of a captain we should have.
+When she came into the ship, I thought she would have died
+indeed; her heart sank at the sight of me, and at the thoughts
+of parting with me in that condition, and she cried so intolerably,
+I could not for a long time have any talk with her.
+
+I took that time to read my fellow-prisoner's letter, which,
+however, greatly perplexed me.  He told me was determined
+to go, but found it would be impossible for him to be discharged
+time enough for going in the same ship, and which was more
+than all, he began to question whether they would give him
+leave to go in what ship he pleased, though he did voluntarily
+transport himself; but that they would see him put on board
+such a ship as they should direct, and that he would be charged
+upon the captain as other convict prisoners were; so that he
+began to be in despair of seeing me till he came to Virginia,
+which made him almost desperate; seeing that, on the other
+hand, if I should not be there, if any accident of the sea or of
+mortality should take me away, he should be the most undone
+creature there in the world.
+
+This was very perplexing, and I knew not what course to take.
+I told my governess the story of the boatswain, and she was
+mighty eager with me treat with him; but I had no mind to it,
+till I heard whether my husband, or fellow-prisoner, so she
+called him, could be at liberty to go with me or no.  At last I
+was forced to let her into the whole matter, except only that
+of his being my husband.  I told her I had made a positive
+bargain or agreement with him to go, if he could get the liberty
+of going in the same ship, and that I found he had money.
+
+Then I read a long lecture to her of what I proposed to do
+when we came there, how we could plant, settle, and, in short,
+grow rich without any more adventures; and, as a great secret,
+I told her that we were to marry as soon as he came on board.
+
+She soon agreed cheerfully to my going when she heard this,
+and she made it her business from that time to get him out of
+the prison in time, so that he might go in the same ship with
+me, which at last was brought to pass, though with great
+difficulty, and not without all the forms of a transported
+prisoner-convict, which he really was not yet, for he had not
+been tried, and which was a great mortification to him.  As
+our fate was now determined, and we were both on board,
+actually bound to Virginia, in the despicable quality of
+transported convicts destined to be sold for slaves, I for five
+years, and he under bonds and security not to return to England
+any more, as long as he lived, he was very much dejected and
+cast down; the mortification of being brought on board, as he
+was, like a prisoner, piqued him very much, since it was first
+told him he should transport himself, and so that he might go
+as a gentleman at liberty.  It is true he was not ordered to be
+sold when he came there, as we were, and for that reason he
+was obliged to pay for his passage to the captain, which we
+were not; as to the rest, he was as much at a loss as a child
+what to do with himself, or with what he had, but by directions.
+
+Our first business was to compare our stock.  He was very
+honest to me, and told me his stock was pretty good when he
+came into the prison, but the living there as he did in a figure
+like a gentleman, and, which was ten times as much, the
+making of friends, and soliciting his case, had been very
+expensive; and, in a word, all his stock that he had left was
+#108, which he had about him all in gold.
+
+I gave him an account of my stock as faithfully, that is to say,
+of what I had taken to carry with me, for I was resolved,
+whatever should happen, to keep what I had left with my
+governess in reserve; that in case I should die, what I had with
+me was enough to give him, and that which was left in my
+governess's hands would be her own, which she had well
+deserved of me indeed.
+
+My stock which I had with me was #246 some odd shillings;
+so that we had #354 between us, but a worse gotten estate was
+scarce ever put together to being the world with.
+
+Our greatest misfortune as to our stock was that it was all in
+money, which every one knows is an unprofitable cargo to be
+carried to the plantations.  I believe his was really all he had
+left in the world, as he told me it was; but I, who had between
+#700 and #800 in bank when this disaster befell me, and who
+had one of the faithfullest friends in the world to manage it
+for me, considering she was a woman of manner of religious
+principles, had still #300 left in her hand, which I reserved as
+above; besides, some very valuable things, as particularly two
+gold watches, some small pieces of plate, and some rings--all
+stolen goods.  The plate, rings, and watches were put in my
+chest with the money, and with this fortune, and in the
+sixty-first year of my age, I launched out into a new world,
+as I may call it, in the condition (as to what appeared) only
+of a poor, naked convict, ordered to be transported in respite
+from the gallows.  My clothes were poor and mean, but not
+ragged or dirty, and none knew in the whole ship that I had
+anything of value about me.
+
+However, as I had a great many very good clothes and linen
+in abundance, which I had ordered to be packed up in two
+great boxes, I had them shipped on board, not as my goods,
+but as consigned to my real name in Virginia; and had the
+bills of loading signed by a captain in my pocket; and in these
+boxes was my plate and watches, and everything of value
+except my money, which I kept by itself in a private drawer
+in my chest, which could not be found, or opened, if found,
+with splitting the chest to pieces.
+
+In this condition I lay for three weeks in the ship, not knowing
+whether I should have my husband with me or no, and therefore
+not resolving how or in what manner to receive the honest
+boatswain's proposal, which indeed he thought a little strange
+at first.
+
+At the end of this time, behold my husband came on board.
+He looked with a dejected, angry countenance, his great heart
+was swelled with rage and disdain; to be dragged along with
+three keepers of Newgate, and put on board like a convict,
+when he had not so much as been brought to a trial.  He made
+loud complaints of it by his friends, for it seems he had some
+interest; but his friends got some check in their application,
+and were told he had had favour enough, and that they had
+received such an account of him, since the last grant of his
+transportation, that he ought to think himself very well treated
+that he was not prosecuted anew.  This answer quieted him at
+once, for he knew too much what might have happened, and
+what he had room to expect; and now he saw the goodness of
+the advice to him, which prevailed with him to accept of the
+offer of a voluntary transportation.  And after this his chagrin
+at these hell-hounds, as he called them, was a little over, he
+looked a little composed, began to be cheerful, and as I was
+telling him how glad I was to have him once more out of their
+hands, he took me in his arms, and acknowledged with great
+tenderness that I had given him the best advice possible.  'My
+dear,' says he, 'thou has twice saved my life; from henceforward
+it shall be all employed for you, and I'll always take your advice.'
+
+The ship began now to fill; several passengers came on board,
+who were embarked on no criminal account, and these had
+accommodations assigned them in the great cabin, and other
+parts of the ship, whereas we, as convicts, were thrust down
+below, I know not where.  But when my husband came on
+board, I spoke to the boatswain, who had so early given me
+hints of his friendship in carrying my letter.  I told him he had
+befriended me in many things, and I had not made any suitable
+return to him, and with that I put a guinea into his hand.  I told
+him that my husband was now come on board; that though
+we were both under the present misfortune, yet we had been
+persons of a different character from the wretched crew that
+we came with, and desired to know of him, whether the captain
+might not be moved to admit us to some conveniences in the
+ship, for which we would make him what satisfaction he
+pleased, and that we would gratify him for his pains in procuring
+this for us.  He took the guinea, as I could see, with great
+satisfaction, and assured me of his assistance.
+
+Then he told us he did not doubt but that the captain, who was
+one of the best-humoured gentlemen in the world, would be
+easily brought to accommodate us as well as we could desire,
+and, to make me easy, told me he would go up the next tide
+on purpose to speak to the captain about it.  The next morning,
+happening to sleep a little longer than ordinary, when I got up,
+and began to look abroad, I saw the boatswain among the men
+in his ordinary business.  I was a little melancholy at seeing
+him there, and going forward to speak to him, he saw me, and
+came towards me, but not giving him time to speak first, I said,
+smiling, 'I doubt, sir, you have forgot us, for I see you are very
+busy.'  He returned presently, 'Come along with me, and you
+shall see.'  So he took me into the great cabin, and there sat
+a good sort of a gentlemanly man for a seaman, writing, and
+with a great many papers before him.
+
+'Here,' says the boatswain to him that was a-writing, 'is the
+gentlewoman that the captain spoke to you of'; and turning to
+me, he said, 'I have been so far from forgetting your business,
+that I have been up at the captain's house, and have represented
+faithfully to the captain what you said, relating to you being
+furnished with better conveniences for yourself and your
+husband; and the captain has sent this gentleman, who is made
+of the ship, down with me, on purpose to show you everything,
+and to accommodate you fully to your content, and bid me
+assure you that you shall not be treated like what you were at
+first expected to be, but with the same respect as other passengers
+are treated.'
+
+The mate then spoke to me, and, not giving me time to thank
+the boatswain for his kindness, confirmed what the boatswain
+had said, and added that it was the captain's delight to show
+himself kind and charitable, especially to those that were
+under any misfortunes, and with that he showed me several
+cabins built up, some in the great cabin, and some partitioned
+off, out of the steerage, but opening into the great cabin on
+purpose for the accommodation of passengers, and gave me
+leave to choose where I would.  However, I chose a cabin
+which opened into the steerage, in which was very good
+conveniences to set our chest and boxes, and a table to eat on.
+
+The mate then told me that the boatswain had given so good
+a character of me and my husband, as to our civil behaviour,
+that he had orders to tell me we should eat with him, if we
+thought fit, during the whole voyage, on the common terms
+of passengers; that we might lay in some fresh provisions, if
+we pleased; or if not, he should lay in his usual store, and we
+should have share with him.  This was very reviving news to
+me, after so many hardships and afflictions as I had gone
+through of late.  I thanked him, and told him the captain should
+make his own terms with us, and asked him leave to go and
+tell my husband of it, who was not very well, and was not yet
+out of his cabin.  Accordingly I went, and my husband, whose
+spirits were still so much sunk with the indignity (as he
+understood it) offered him, that he was scare yet himself, was
+so revived with the account that I gave him of the reception
+we were like to have in the ship, that he was quite another man,
+and new vigour and courage appeared in his very countenance.
+So true is it, that the greatest of spirits, when overwhelmed
+by their afflictions, are subject to the greatest dejections, and
+are the most apt to despair and give themselves up.
+
+After some little pause to recover himself, my husband came
+up with me, and gave the mate thanks for the kindness, which
+he had expressed to us, and sent suitable acknowledgment by
+him to the captain, offering to pay him by advance, whatever
+he demanded for our passage, and for the conveniences he had
+helped us to.  The mate told him that the captain would be on
+board in the afternoon, and that he would leave all that till he
+came.  Accordingly, in the afternoon the captain came, and we
+found him the same courteous, obliging man that the boatswain
+had represented him to be; and he was so well pleased with
+my husband's conversation, that, in short, he would not let us
+keep the cabin we had chosen, but gave us one that, as I said
+before, opened into the great cabin.
+
+Nor were his conditions exorbitant, or the man craving and
+eager to make a prey of us, but for fifteen guineas we had our
+whole passage and provisions and cabin, ate at the captain's
+table, and were very handsomely entertained.
+
+The captain lay himself in the other part of the great cabin,
+having let his round house, as they call it, to a rich planter
+who went over with his wife and three children, who ate by
+themselves.  He had some other ordinary passengers, who
+quartered in the steerage, and as for our old fraternity, they
+were kept under the hatches while the ship lay there, and came
+very little on the deck.
+
+I could not refrain acquainting my governess with what had
+happened; it was but just that she, who was so really concerned
+for me, should have part in my good fortune.  Besides, I wanted
+her assistance to supply me with several necessaries, which
+before I was shy of letting anybody see me have, that it might
+not be public; but now I had a cabin and room to set things in,
+I ordered abundance of good things for our comfort in the
+voyage, as brandy, sugar, lemons, etc., to make punch, and
+treat our benefactor, the captain; and abundance of things for
+eating and drinking in the voyage; also a larger bed, and bedding
+proportioned to it; so that, in a word, we resolved to want for
+nothing in the voyage.
+
+All this while I had provided nothing for our assistance when
+we should come to the place and begin to call ourselves planters;
+and I was far from being ignorant of what was needful on that
+occasion; particularly all sorts of tools for the planter's work,
+and for building; and all kinds of furniture for our dwelling,
+which, if to be bought in the country, must necessarily cost
+double the price.
+
+So I discoursed that point with my governess, and she went
+and waited upon the captain, and told him that she hoped ways
+might be found out for her two unfortunate cousins, as she
+called us, to obtain our freedom when we came into the country,
+and so entered into a discourse with him about the means and
+terms also, of which I shall say more in its place; and after
+thus sounding the captain, she let him know, though we were
+unhappy in the circumstances that occasioned our going, yet
+that we were not unfurnished to set ourselves to work in the
+country, and we resolved to settle and live there as planters,
+if we might be put in a way how to do it.  The captain readily
+offered his assistance, told her the method of entering upon
+such business, and how easy, nay, how certain it was for
+industrious people to recover their fortunes in such a manner.
+'Madam,' says he, ''tis no reproach to any many in that country
+to have been sent over in worse circumstances than I perceive
+your cousins are in, provided they do but apply with diligence
+and good judgment to the business of that place when they
+come there.'
+
+She then inquired of him what things it was necessary we
+should carry over with us, and he, like a very honest as well
+as knowing man, told her thus:  'Madam, your cousins in the
+first place must procure somebody to buy them as servants,
+in conformity to the conditions of their transportation, and
+then, in the name of that person, they may go about what they
+will; they may either purchase some plantations already begun,
+or they may purchase land of the Government of the country,
+and begin where they please, and both will be done reasonably.'
+She bespoke his favour in the first article, which he promised
+to her to take upon himself, and indeed faithfully performed
+it, and as to the rest, he promised to recommend us to such as
+should give us the best advice, and not to impose upon us,
+which was as much as could be desired.
+
+She then asked him if it would not be necessary to furnish us
+with a stock of tools and materials for the business of planting,
+and he said, 'Yes, by all means.'  And then she begged his
+assistance in it.  She told him she would furnish us with
+everything that was convenient whatever it cost her.  He
+accordingly gave her a long particular of things necessary for
+a planter, which, by his account, came to about fourscore or
+a hundred pounds.  And, in short, she went about as dexterously
+to buy them, as if she had been an old Virginia merchant; only
+that she bought, by my direction, above twice as much of
+everything as he had given her a list of.
+
+These she put on board in her own name, took his bills of
+loading for them, and endorsed those bills of loading to my
+husband, insuring the cargo afterwards in her own name, by
+our order; so that we were provided for all events, and for
+all disasters.
+
+I should have told you that my husband gave her all his whole
+stock of #108, which, as I have said, he had about him in gold,
+to lay out thus, and I gave her a good sum besides; so that I
+did not break into the stock which I had left in her hands at
+all, but after we had sorted out our whole cargo, we had yet
+near #200 in money, which was more than enough for our
+purpose.
+
+In this condition, very cheerful, and indeed joyful at being so
+happily accommodated as we were, we set sail from Bugby's
+Hole to Gravesend, where the ship lay about ten more days,
+and where the captain came on board for good and all.  Here
+the captain offered us a civility, which indeed we had no reason
+to expect, namely, to let us go on shore and refresh ourselves,
+upon giving our words in a solemn manner that we would not
+go from him, and that we would return peaceably on board
+again.  This was such an evidence of his confidence in us,
+that it overcame my husband, who, in a mere principle of
+gratitude, told him, as he could not be in any capacity to make
+a suitable return for such a favour, so he could not think of
+accepting of it, nor could he be easy that the captain should
+run such a risk.  After some mutual civilities, I gave my
+husband a purse, in which was eighty guineas, and he put in
+into the captain's hand.  'There, captain,' says he, 'there's
+part of a pledge for our fidelity; if we deal dishonestly with
+you on any account, 'tis your own.'  And on this we went
+on shore.
+
+Indeed, the captain had assurance enough of our resolutions
+to go, for that having made such provision to settle there, it
+did not seem rational that we would choose to remain here at
+the expense and peril of life, for such it must have been if we
+had been taken again.  In a word, we went all on shore with
+the captain, and supped together in Gravesend, where we were
+very merry, stayed all night, lay at the house where we supped,
+and came all very honestly on board again with him in the
+morning.  Here we bought ten dozen bottles of good beer, some
+wine, some fowls, and such things as we thought might be
+acceptable on board.
+
+My governess was with us all this while, and went with us
+round into the Downs, as did also the captain's wife, with
+whom she went back.  I was never so sorrowful at parting
+with my own mother as I was at parting with her, and I never
+saw her more.  We had a fair easterly wind sprung up the third
+day after we came to the Downs, and we sailed from thence
+the 10th of April.  Nor did we touch any more at any place,
+till, being driven on the coast of Ireland by a very hard gale
+of wind, the ship came to an anchor in a little bay, near the
+mouth of a river, whose name I remember not, but they said
+the river came down from Limerick, and that it was the largest
+river in Ireland.
+
+Here, being detained by bad weather for some time, the captain,
+who continued the same kind, good-humoured man as at
+first, took us two on shore with him again.  He did it now in
+kindness to my husband indeed, who bore the sea very ill, and
+was very sick, especially when it blew so hard.  Here we
+bought in again a store of fresh provisions, especially beef,
+pork, mutton, and fowls, and the captain stayed to pickle up
+five or six barrels of beef to lengthen out the ship's store.  We
+were here not above five days, when the weather turning mild,
+and a fair wind, we set sail again, and in two-and-forty days
+came safe to the coast of Virginia.
+
+When we drew near to the shore, the captain called me to him,
+and told me that he found by my discourse I had some relations
+in the place, and that I had been there before, and so he supposed
+I understood the custom in their disposing the convict prisoners
+when they arrived.  I told him I did not, and that as to what
+relations I had in the place, he might be sure I would make
+myself known to none of them while I was in the circumstances
+of a prisoner, and that as to the rest, we left ourselves entirely
+to him to assist us, as he was pleased to promise us he would
+do.  He told me I must get somebody in the place to come and
+buy us as servants, and who must answer for us to the governor
+of the country, if he demanded us.  I told him we should do as
+he should direct; so he brought a planter to treat with him, as
+it were, for the purchase of these two servants, my husband
+and me, and there we were formally sold to him, and went
+ashore with him.  The captain went with us, and carried us to
+a certain house, whether it was to be called a tavern or not I
+know not, but we had a bowl of punch there made of rum, etc.,
+and were very merry.  After some time the planter gave us a
+certificate of discharge, and an acknowledgment of having
+served him faithfully, and we were free from him the next
+morning, to go wither we would.
+
+For this piece of service the captain demanded of us six
+thousand weight of tabacco, which he said he was accountable
+for to his freighter, and which we immediately bought for him,
+and made him a present of twenty guineas besides, with which
+he was abundantly satisfied.
+
+It is not proper to enter here into the particulars of what part
+of the colony of Virginia we settled in, for divers reasons; it
+may suffice to mention that we went into the great river
+Potomac, the ship being bound thither; and there we intended
+to have settled first, though afterwards we altered our minds.
+
+The first thing I did of moment after having gotten all our
+goods on shore, and placed them in a storehouse, or warehouse,
+which, with a lodging, we hired at the small place or village
+where we landed--I say, the first thing was to inquire after my
+mother, and after my brother (that fatal person whom I married
+as a husband, as I have related at large).  A little inquiry
+furnished me with information that Mrs. ----, that is, my mother,
+was dead; that my brother (or husband) was alive, which I
+confess I was not very glad to hear; but which was worse, I
+found he was removed from the plantation where he lived
+formerly, and where I lived with him, and lived with one of
+his sons in a plantation just by the place where we landed,
+and where we had hired a warehouse.
+
+I was a little surprised at first, but as I ventured to satisfy
+myself that he could not know me, I was not only perfectly
+easy, but had a great mind to see him, if it was possible to so
+do without his seeing me.  In order to that I found out by
+inquiry the plantation where he lived, and with a woman of
+that place whom I got to help me, like what we call a chairwoman,
+I rambled about towards the place as if I had only a mind to
+see the country and look about me.  At last I came so near that
+I saw the dwellinghouse.  I asked the woman whose plantation
+that was; she said it belonged to such a man, and looking out
+a little to our right hands, 'there,' says she, is the gentleman
+that owns the plantation, and his father with him.'  'What are
+their Christian names?' said I.  'I know not,' says she, 'what
+the old gentleman's name is, but the son's name is Humphrey;
+and I believe,' says she, 'the father's is so too.'  You may
+guess, if you can, what a confused mixture of joy and fight
+possessed my thoughts upon this occasion, for I immediately
+knew that this was nobody else but my own son, by that father
+she showed me, who was my own brother.  I had no mask,
+but I ruffled my hood so about my face, that I depended upon
+it that after above twenty years' absence, and withal not
+expecting anything of me in that part of the world, he would
+not be able to know anything of me.  But I need not have used
+all that caution, for the old gentleman was grown dim-sighted
+by some distemper which had fallen upon his eyes, and could
+but just see well enough to walk about, and not run against a
+tree or into a ditch.  The woman that was with me had told me
+that by a mere accident, knowing nothing of what importance
+it was to me.  As they drew near to us, I said, 'Does he know
+you, Mrs. Owen?' (so they called the woman).  'Yes,' said
+she, 'if he hears me speak, he will know me; but he can't see
+well enough to know me or anybody else'; and so she told me
+the story of his sight, as I have related.  This made me secure,
+and so I threw open my hoods again, and let them pass by me.
+It was a wretched thing for a mother thus to see her own son,
+a handsome, comely young gentleman in flourishing
+circumstances, and durst not make herself known to him, and
+durst not take any notice of him.  Let any mother of children
+that reads this consider it, and but think with what anguish of
+mind I restrained myself; what yearnings of soul I had in me
+to embrace him, and weep over him; and how I thought all my
+entrails turned within me, that my very bowels moved, and I
+knew not what to do, as I now know not how to express those
+agonies!  When he went from me I stood gazing and trembling,
+and looking after him as long as I could see him; then sitting
+down to rest me, but turned from her, and lying on my face,
+wept, and kissed the ground that he had set his foot on.
+
+I could not conceal my disorder so much from the woman but
+that she perceived it, and thought I was not well, which I was
+obliged to pretend was true; upon which she pressed me to rise,
+the ground being damp and dangerous, which I did accordingly,
+and walked away.
+
+As I was going back again, and still talking of this gentleman
+and his son, a new occasion of melancholy offered itself thus.
+The woman began, as if she would tell me a story to divert me:
+'There goes,' says she, 'a very odd tale among the neighbours
+where this gentleman formerly live.'  'What was that?' said
+I.  'Why,' says she, 'that old gentleman going to England,
+when he was a young man, fell in love with a young lady there,
+one of the finest women that ever was seen, and married her,
+and brought her over hither to his mother who was then living.
+He lived here several years with her,' continued she, 'and had
+several children by her, of which the young gentleman that was
+with him now was one; but after some time, the old gentlewoman,
+his mother, talking to her of something relating to herself when
+she was in England, and of her circumstances in England,
+which were bad enough, the daughter-in-law began to be very
+much surprised and uneasy; and, in short, examining further
+into things, it appeared past all contradiction that the old
+gentlewoman was her own mother, and that consequently that
+son was his wife's own brother, which struck the whole family
+with horror, and put them into such confusion that it had almost
+ruined them all.  The young woman would not live with him;
+the son, her brother and husband, for a time went distracted;
+and at last the young woman went away for England, and has
+never been heard of since.'
+
+It is easy to believe that I was strangely affected with this story,
+but 'tis impossible to describe the nature of my disturbance.  I
+seemed astonished at the story, and asked her a thousand
+questions about the particulars, which I found she was
+thoroughly acquainted with.  At last I began to inquire into the
+circumstances of the family, how the old gentlewoman, I mean
+my mother, died, and how she left what she had; for my mother
+had promised me very solemnly, that when she died she would
+do something for me, and leave it so, as that, if I was living, I
+should one way or other come at it, without its being in the
+power of her son, my brother and husband, to prevent it.  She
+told me she did not know exactly how it was ordered, but she
+had been told that my mother had left a sum of money, and
+had tied her plantation for the payment of it, to be made good
+to the daughter, if ever she could be heard of, either in England
+or elsewhere; and that the trust was left with this son, who was
+the person that we saw with his father.
+
+This was news too good for me to make light of, and, you
+may be sure, filled my heart with a thousand thoughts, what
+course I should take, how, and when, and in what manner I
+should make myself known, or whether I should ever make
+myself know or no.
+
+Here was a perplexity that I had not indeed skill to manage
+myself in, neither knew I what course to take.  It lay heavy
+upon my mind night and day.  I could neither sleep nor
+converse, so that my husband perceived it, and wondered what
+ailed me, strove to divert me, but it was all to no purpose.  He
+pressed me to tell him what it was troubled me, but I put it off,
+till at last, importuning me continually, I was forced to form
+a story, which yet had a plain truth to lay it upon too.  I told
+him I was troubled because I found we must shift our quarters
+and alter our scheme of settling, for that I found I should be
+known if I stayed in that part of the country; for that my mother
+being dead, several of my relations were come into that part
+where we then was, and that I must either discover myself to
+them, which in our present circumstances was not proper on
+many accounts, or remove; and which to do I knew not, and
+that this it was that made me so melancholy and so thoughtful.
+
+He joined with me in this, that it was by no means proper for
+me to make myself known to anybody in the circumstances
+in which we then were; and therefore he told me he would be
+willing to remove to any other part of the country, or even to
+any other country if I thought fit.  But now I had another
+difficulty, which was, that if I removed to any other colony, I
+put myself out of the way of ever making a due search after
+those effects which my mother had left.  Again I could never
+so much as think of breaking the secret of my former marriage
+to my new husband; it was not a story, as I thought, that would
+bear telling, nor could I tell what might be the consequences
+of it; and it was impossible to search into the bottom of the
+thing without making it public all over the country, as well
+who I was, as what I now was also.
+
+In this perplexity I continued a great while, and this made my
+spouse very uneasy; for he found me perplexed, and yet thought
+I was not open with him, and did not let him into every part
+of my grievance; and he would often say, he wondered what
+he had done that I would not trust him with whatever it was,
+especially if it was grievous and afflicting.  The truth is, he
+ought to have been trusted with everything, for no man in the
+world could deserve better of a wife; but this was a thing I
+knew not how to open to him, and yet having nobody to
+disclose any part of it to, the burthen was too heavy for my
+mind; for let them say what they please of our sex not being
+able to keep a secret, my life is a plain conviction to me of the
+contrary; but be it our sex, or the man's sex, a secret of moment
+should always have a confidant, a bosom friend, to whom we
+may communicate the joy of it, or the grief of it, be it which
+it will, or it will be a double weight upon the spirits, and
+perhaps become even insupportable in itself; and this I appeal
+to all human testimony for the truth of.
+
+And this is the cause why many times men as well as women,
+and men of the greatest and best qualities other ways, yet have
+found themselves weak in this part, and have not been able to
+bear the weight of a secret joy or of a secret sorrow, but have
+been obliged to disclose it, even for the mere giving vent to
+themselves, and to unbend the mind oppressed with the load
+and weights which attended it.  Nor was this any token of folly
+or thoughtlessness at all, but a natural consequence of the thing;
+and such people, had they struggled longer with the oppression,
+would certainly have told it in their sleep, and disclosed the
+secret, let it have been of what fatal nature soever, without
+regard to the person to whom it might be exposed.  This
+necessity of nature is a thing which works sometimes with
+such vehemence in the minds of those who are guilty of any
+atrocious villainy, such as secret murder in particular, that they
+have been obliged to discover it, though the consequence
+would necessarily be their own destruction.  Now, though it
+may be true that the divine justice ought to have the glory of
+all those discoveries and confessions, yet 'tis as certain that
+Providence, which ordinarily works by the hands of nature,
+makes use here of the same natural causes to produce those
+extraordinary effects.
+
+I could give several remarkable instances of this in my long
+conversation with crime and with criminals.  I knew one fellow
+that, while I was in prison in Newgate, was one of those they
+called then night-fliers.  I know not what other word they may
+have understood it by since, but he was one who by connivance
+was admitted to go abroad every evening, when he played his
+pranks, and furnished those honest people they call thief-catchers
+with business to find out the next day, and restore for a reward
+what they had stolen the evening before.  This fellow was as
+sure to tell in his sleep all that he had done, and every step he
+had taken, what he had stolen, and where, as sure as if he had
+engaged to tell it waking, and that there was no harm or danger
+in it, and therefore he was obliged, after he had been out, to
+lock himself up, or be locked up by some of the keepers that
+had him in fee, that nobody should hear him; but, on the other
+hand, if he had told all the particulars, and given a full account
+of his rambles and success, to any comrade, any brother thief,
+or to his employers, as I may justly call them, then all was
+well with him, and he slept as quietly as other people.
+
+As the publishing this account of my life is for the sake of the
+just moral of very part of it, and for instruction, caution,
+warning, and improvement to every reader, so this will not
+pass, I hope, for an unnecessary digression concerning some
+people being obliged to disclose the greatest secrets either of
+their own or other people's affairs.
+
+Under the certain oppression of this weight upon my mind, I
+laboured in the case I have been naming; and the only relief
+I found for it was to let my husband into so much of it as I
+thought would convince him of the necessity there was for us
+to think of settling in some other part of the world; and the
+next consideration before us was, which part of the English
+settlements we should go to.  My husband was a perfect stranger
+to the country, and had not yet so much as a geographical
+knowledge of the situation of the several places; and I, that,
+till I wrote this, did not know what the word geographical
+signified, had only a general knowledge from long conversation
+with people that came from or went to several places; but this
+I knew, that Maryland, Pennsylvania, East and West Jersey,
+New York, and New England lay all north of Virginia, and
+that they were consequently all colder climates, to which for
+that very reason, I had an aversion.  For that as I naturally
+loved warm weather, so now I grew into years I had a stronger
+inclination to shun a cold climate.  I therefore considered of
+going to Caroline, which is the only southern colony of the
+English on the continent of America, and hither I proposed to
+go; and the rather because I might with great ease come from
+thence at any time, when it might be proper to inquire after
+my mother's effects, and to make myself known enough to
+demand them.
+
+With this resolution I proposed to my husband our going away
+from where we was, and carrying all our effects with us to
+Caroline, where we resolved to settle; for my husband readily
+agreed to the first part, viz. that was not at all proper to stay
+where we was, since I had assured him we should be known
+there, and the rest I effectually concealed from him.
+
+But now I found a new difficulty upon me.  The main affair
+grew heavy upon my mind still, and I could not think of going
+out of the country without somehow or other making inquiry
+into the grand affair of what my mother had done for me; nor
+could I with any patience bear the thought of going away, and
+not make myself known to my old husband (brother), or to my
+child, his son; only I would fain have had this done without
+my new husband having any knowledge of it, or they having
+any knowledge of him, or that I had such a thing as a husband.
+
+I cast about innumerable ways in my thoughts how this might
+be done.  I would gladly have sent my husband away to
+Caroline with all our goods, and have come after myself, but
+this was impracticable; he would never stir without me, being
+himself perfectly unacquainted with the country, and with the
+methods of settling there or anywhere else.  Then I thought
+we would both go first with part of our goods, and that when
+we were settled I should come back to Virginia and fetch the
+remainder; but even then I knew he would never part with me,
+and be left there to go on alone.  The case was plain; he was
+bred a gentleman, and by consequence was not only
+unacquainted, but indolent, and when we did settle, would
+much rather go out into the woods with his gun, which they
+call there hunting, and which is the ordinary work of the
+Indians, and which they do as servants; I say, he would rather
+do that than attend the natural business of his plantation.
+
+These were therefore difficulties insurmountable, and such as
+I knew not what to do in.  I had such strong impressions on
+my mind about discovering myself to my brother, formerly
+my husband, that I could not withstand them; and the rather,
+because it ran constantly in my thoughts, that if I did not do
+it while he lived, I might in vain endeavour to convince my
+son afterward that I was really the same person, and that I was
+his mother, and so might both lose the assistance and comfort
+of the relation, and the benefit of whatever it was my mother
+had left me; and yet, on the other hand, I could never think it
+proper to discover myself to them in the circumstances I was
+in, as well relating to the having a husband with me as to my
+being brought over by a legal transportation as a criminal; on
+both which accounts it was absolutely necessary to me to
+remove from the place where I was, and come again to him,
+as from another place and in another figure.
+
+Upon those considerations,  I went on with telling my husband
+the absolute necessity there was of our not settling in Potomac
+River, at least that we should be presently made public there;
+whereas if we went to any other place in the world, we should
+come in with as much reputation as any family that came to
+plant; that, as it was always agreeable to the inhabitants to
+have families come among them to plant, who brought substance
+with them, either to purchase plantations or begin new ones,
+so we should be sure of a kind, agreeable reception, and that
+without any possibility of a discovery of our circumstances.
+
+I told him in general, too, that as I had several relations in the
+place where we were, and that I durst not now let myself be
+known to them, because they would soon come into a knowledge
+of the occasion and reason of my coming over, which would be
+to expose myself to the last degree, so I had reason to believe
+that my mother, who died here, had left me something, and
+perhaps considerable, which it might be very well worth my
+while to inquire after; but that this too could not be done
+without exposing us publicly, unless we went from hence; and
+then, wherever we settled, I might come, as it were, to visit
+and to see my brother and nephews, make myself known to
+them, claim and inquire after what was my due, be received
+with respect, and at the same time have justice done me with
+cheerfulness and good will; whereas, if I did it now, I could
+expect nothing but with trouble, such as exacting it by force,
+receiving it with curses and reluctance, and with all kinds of
+affronts, which he would not perhaps bear to see; that in case
+of being obliged to legal proofs of being really her daughter,
+I might be at loss, be obliged to have recourse to England, and
+it may be to fail at last, and so lose it, whatever it might be.
+With these arguments, and having thus acquainted my husband
+with the whole secret so far as was needful of him, we resolved
+to go and seek a settlement in some other colony, and at first
+thoughts, Caroline was the place we pitched upon.
+
+In order to this we began to make inquiry for vessels going to
+Carolina, and in a very little while got information, that on the
+other side the bay, as they call it, namely, in Maryland, there
+was a ship which came from Carolina, laden with rice and
+other goods, and was going back again thither, and from
+thence to Jamaica, with provisions.  On this news we hired a
+sloop to take in our goods, and taking, as it were, a final
+farewell of Potomac River, we went with all our cargo over
+to Maryland.
+
+This was a long and unpleasant voyage, and my spouse said
+it was worse to him than all the voyage from England, because
+the weather was but indifferent, the water rough, and the
+vessel small and inconvenient.  In the next place, we were full
+a hundred miles up Potomac River, in a part which they call
+Westmoreland County, and as that river is by far the greatest
+in Virginia, and I have heard say it is the greatest river in the
+world that falls into another river, and not directly into the sea,
+so we had base weather in it, and were frequently in great
+danger; for though we were in the middle, we could not see
+land on either side for many leagues together.  Then we had
+the great river or bay of Chesapeake to cross, which is where
+the river Potomac falls into it, near thirty miles broad, and we
+entered more great vast waters whose names I know not, so
+that our voyage was full two hundred miles, in a poor, sorry
+sloop, with all our treasure, and if any accident had happened
+to us, we might at last have been very miserable; supposing
+we had lost our goods and saved our lives only, and had then
+been left naked and destitute, and in a wild, strange place not
+having one friend or acquaintance in all that part of the world.
+The very thought of it gives me some horror, even since the
+danger is past.
+
+Well, we came to the place in five days' sailing; I think they
+call it Philip's Point; and behold, when we came thither, the
+ship bound to Carolina was loaded and gone away but three
+days before.  This was a disappointment; but, however, I,
+that was to be discouraged with nothing, told my husband
+that since we could not get passage to Caroline, and that the
+country we was in was very fertile and good, we would, if he
+liked of it, see if we could find out anything for our tune where
+we was, and that if he liked things we would settle here.
+
+We immediately went on shore, but found no conveniences
+just at that place, either for our being on shore or preserving
+our goods on shore, but was directed by a very honest Quaker,
+whom we found there, to go to a place about sixty miles east;
+that is to say, nearer the mouth of the bay, where he said he
+lived, and where we should be accommodated, either to plant,
+or to wait for any other place to plant in that might be more
+convenient; and he invited us with so much kindness and
+simple honesty, that we agreed to go, and the Quaker himself
+went with us.
+
+Here we bought us two servants, viz. an English woman-servant
+just come on shore from a ship of Liverpool, and a Negro
+man-servant, things absolutely necessary for all people that
+pretended to settle in that country.  This honest Quaker was
+very helpful to us, and when we came to the place that he
+proposed to us, found us out a convenient storehouse for our
+goods, and lodging for ourselves and our servants; and about
+two months or thereabouts afterwards, by his direction, we
+took up a large piece of land from the governor of that country,
+in order to form our plantation, and so we laid the thoughts
+of going to Caroline wholly aside, having been very well
+received here, and accommodated with a convenient lodging
+till we could prepare things, and have land enough cleared,
+and timber and materials provided for building us a house, all
+which we managed by the direction of the Quaker; so that in
+one year's time we had nearly fifty acres of land cleared, part
+of it enclosed, and some of it planted with tabacco, though
+not much; besides, we had garden ground and corn sufficient
+to help supply our servants with roots and herbs and bread.
+
+And now I persuaded my husband to let me go over the bay
+again, and inquire after my friends.  He was the willinger to
+consent to it now, because he had business upon his hands
+sufficient to employ him, besides his gun to divert him, which
+they call hunting there, and which he greatly delighted in; and
+indeed we used to look at one another, sometimes with a great
+deal of pleasure, reflecting how much better that was, not than
+Newgate only, but than the most prosperous of our circumstances
+in the wicked trade that we had been both carrying on.
+
+Our affair was in a very good posture; we purchased of the
+proprietors of the colony as much land for #35, paid in ready
+money, as would make a sufficient plantation to employ
+between fifty and sixty servants, and which, being well
+improved, would be sufficient to us as long as we could either
+of us live; and as for children, I was past the prospect of
+anything of that kind.
+
+But out good fortune did not end here.  I went, as I have said,
+over the bay, to the place where my brother, once a husband,
+lived; but I did not go to the same village where I was before,
+but went up another great river, on the east side of the river
+Potomac, called Rappahannock River, and by this means
+came on the back of his plantation, which was large, and by
+the help of a navigable creek, or little river, that ran into the
+Rappahannock, I came very near it.
+
+I was now fully resolved to go up point-blank to my brother
+(husband), and to tell him who I was; but not knowing what
+temper I might find him in, or how much out of temper rather,
+I might make him by such a rash visit, I resolved to write a
+letter to him first, to let him know who I was, and that I was
+come not to give him any trouble upon the old relation, which
+I hoped was entirely forgot, but that I applied to him as a sister
+to a brother, desiring his assistance in the case of that provision
+which our mother, at her decease, had left for my support, and
+which I did not doubt but he would do me justice in, especially
+considering that I was come thus far to look after it.
+
+I said some very tender, kind things in the letter about his
+son, which I told him he knew to be my own child, and that
+as I was guilty of nothing in marrying him, any more than he
+was in marrying me, neither of us having then known our
+being at all related to one another, so I hoped he would allow
+me the most passionate desire of once seeing my one and only
+child, and of showing something of the infirmities of a mother
+in preserving a violent affect for him, who had never been
+able to retain any thought of me one way or other.
+
+I did believe that, having received this letter, he would
+immediately give it to his son to read, I having understood
+his eyes being so dim, that he could not see to read it; but it
+fell out better than so, for as his sight was dim, so he had
+allowed his son to open all letters that came to his hand for
+him, and the old gentleman being from home, or out of the
+way when my messenger came, my letter came directly to my
+son's hand, and he opened and read it.
+
+He called the messenger in, after some little stay, and asked
+him where the person was who gave him the letter.  The
+messenger told him the place, which was about seven miles
+off, so he bid him stay, and ordering a horse to be got ready,
+and two servants, away he came to me with the messenger.
+Let any one judge the consternation I was in when my
+messenger came back, and told me the old gentleman was not
+at home, but his son was come along with him, and was just
+coming up to me.  I was perfectly confounded, for I knew not
+whether it was peace or war, nor could I tell how to behave;
+however, I had but a very few moments to think, for my son
+was at the heels of the messenger, and coming up into my
+lodgings, asked the fellow at the door something.  I suppose
+it was, for I did not hear it so as to understand it, which was
+the gentlewoman that sent him; for the messenger said, 'There
+she is, sir'; at which he comes directly up to me, kisses me,
+took me in his arms, and embraced me with so much passion
+that he could not speak, but I could feel his breast heave and
+throb like a child, that cries, but sobs, and cannot cry it out.
+
+I can neither express nor describe the joy that touched my very
+soul when I found, for it was easy to discover that part, that
+he came not as a stranger, but as a son to a mother, and indeed
+as a son who had never before known what a mother of his
+own was; in short, we cried over one another a considerable
+while, when at last he broke out first.  'My dear mother,' says
+he, 'are you still alive?  I never expected to have seen your
+face.'  As for me, I could say nothing a great while.
+
+After we had both recovered ourselves a little, and were able
+to talk, he told me how things stood. As to what I had written
+to his father, he told me he had not showed my letter to his
+father, or told him anything about it; that what his grandmother
+left me was in his hands, and that he would do me justice to
+my full satisfaction; that as to his father, he was old and infirm
+both in body and mind; that he was very fretful and passionate,
+almost blind, and capable of nothing; and he questioned
+whether he would know how to act in an affair which was of
+so nice a nature as this; and that therefore he had come himself,
+as well to satisfy himself in seeing me, which he could not
+restrain himself from, as also to put it into my power to make
+a judgment, after I had seen how things were, whether I would
+discover myself to his father or no.
+
+This was really so prudently and wisely managed, that I found
+my son was a man of sense, and needed no direction from me.
+I told him I did not wonder that his father was as he had
+described him, for that his head was a little touched before I
+went away; and principally his disturbance was because I
+could not be persuaded to conceal our relation and to live with
+him as my husband, after I knew that he was my brother; that
+as he knew better than I what his father's present condition
+was, I should readily join with him in such measure as he
+would direct; that I was indifferent as to seeing his father,
+since I had seen him first, and he could not have told me better
+news than to tell me that what his grandmother had left me
+was entrusted in his hands, who, I doubted not, now he knew
+who I was, would, as he said, do me justice.  I inquired then
+how long my mother had been dead, and where she died, and
+told so many particulars of the family, that I left him no room
+to doubt the truth of my being really and truly his mother.
+
+My son then inquired where I was, and how I had disposed
+myself.  I told him I was on the Maryland side of the bay, at
+the plantation of a particular friend who came from England
+in the same ship with me; that as for that side of the bay where
+he was, I had no habitation.  He told me I should go home
+with him, and live with him, if I pleased, as long as I lived;
+that as to his father, he knew nobody, and would never so
+much as guess at me.  I considered of that a little, and told
+him, that though it was really no concern to me to live at a
+distance from him, yet I could not say it would be the most
+comfortable thing in the world to me to live in the house with
+him, and to have that unhappy object always before me, which
+had been such a blow to my peace before; that though I should
+be glad to have his company (my son), or to be as near him as
+possible while I stayed, yet I could not think of being in the
+house where I should be also under constant restraint for fear
+of betraying myself in my discourse, nor should I be able to
+refrain some expressions in my conversing with him as my
+son, that might discover the whole affair, which would by no
+means be convenient.
+
+He acknowledged that I was right in all this.  'But then, dear
+mother,' says he, 'you shall be as near me as you can.'  So he
+took me with him on horseback to a plantation next to his own,
+and where I was as well entertained as I could have been in his
+own.  Having left me there he went away home, telling me we
+would talk of the main business the next day; and having first
+called me his aunt, and given a charge to the people, who it
+seems were his tenants, to treat me with all possible respect.
+About two hours after he was gone, he sent me a maid-servant
+and a Negro boy to wait on me, and provisions ready dressed
+for my supper; and thus I was as if I had been in a new world,
+and began secretly now to wish that I had not brought my
+Lancashire husband from England at all.
+
+However, that wish was not hearty neither, for I loved my
+Lancashire husband entirely, as indeed I had ever done from
+the beginning; and he merited from me as much as it was
+possible for a man to do; but that by the way.
+
+The next morning my son came to visit me again almost as
+soon as I was up.  After a little discourse, he first of all pulled
+out a deerskin bag, and gave it me, with five-and-fifty Spanish
+pistoles in it, and told me that was to supply my expenses from
+England, for though it was not his business to inquire, yet he
+ought to think I did not bring a great deal of money out with
+me, it not being usual to bring much money into that country.
+Then he pulled out his grandmother's will, and read it over to
+me, whereby it appeared that she had left a small plantation,
+as he called it, on York River, that is, where my mother lived,
+to me, with the stock of servants and cattle upon it, and given
+it in trust to this son of mine for my use, whenever he should
+hear of my being alive, and to my heirs, if I had any children,
+and in default of heirs, to whomsoever I should by will dispose
+of it; but gave the income of it, till I should be heard of, or
+found, to my said son; and if I should not be living, then it was
+to him, and his heirs.
+
+This plantation, though remote from him, he said he did not
+let out, but managed it by a head-clerk (steward), as he did
+another that was his father's, that lay hard by it, and went over
+himself three or four times a year to look after it.  I asked him
+what he thought the plantation might be worth.  He said, if I
+would let it out, he would give me about #60 a year for it; but
+if I would live on it, then it would be worth much more, and,
+he believed, would bring me in about #150 a year.  But seeing
+I was likely either to settle on the other side of the bay, or
+might perhaps have a mind to go back to England again, if I
+would let him be my steward he would manage it for me, as
+he had done for himself, and that he believed he should be
+able to send me as much tobacco to England from it as would
+yield me about #100 a year, sometimes more.
+
+This was all strange news to me, and things I had not been
+used to; and really my heart began to look up more seriously
+than I think it ever did before, and to look with great thankfulness
+to the hand of Providence, which had done such wonders for
+me, who had been myself the greatest wonder of wickedness
+perhaps that had been suffered to live in the world.  And I must
+again observe, that not on this occasion only, but even on all
+other occasions of thankfulness, my past wicked and abominable
+life never looked so monstrous to me, and I never so completely
+abhorred it, and reproached myself with it, as when I had a
+sense upon me of Providence doing good to me, while I had
+been making those vile returns on my part.
+
+But I leave the reader to improve these thoughts, as no doubt
+they will see cause, and I go on to the fact.  My son's tender
+carriage and kind offers fetched tears from me, almost all the
+while he talked with me.  Indeed, I could scarce discourse
+with him but in the intervals of my passion; however, at length
+I began, and expressing myself with wonder at my being so
+happy to have the trust of what I had left, put into the hands
+of my own child, I told him, that as to the inheritance of it, I
+had no child but him in the world, and was now past having
+any if I should marry, and therefore would desire him to get
+a writing drawn, which I was ready to execute, by which I
+would, after me, give it wholly to him and to his heirs.  And
+in the meantime, smiling, I asked him what made him continue
+a bachelor so long.  His answer was kind and ready, that
+Virginia did not yield any great plenty of wives, and that since
+I talked of going back to England, I should send him a wife
+from London.
+
+This was the substance of our first day's conversation, the
+pleasantest day that ever passed over my head in my life, and
+which gave me the truest satisfaction.  He came every day after
+this, and spent a great part of his time with me, and carried
+me about to several of his friends' houses, where I was
+entertained with great respect.  Also I dined several times at
+his own house, when he took care always to see his half-dead
+father so out of the way that I never saw him, or he me.  I
+made him one present, and it was all I had of value, and that
+was one of the gold watches, of which I mentioned above,
+that I had two in my chest, and this I happened to have with
+me, and I gave it him at his third visit.  I told him I had nothing
+of any value to bestow but that, and I desired he would now
+and then kiss it for my sake.  I did not indeed tell him that I
+had stole it from a gentlewoman's side, at a meeting-house in
+London.  That's by the way.
+
+He stood a little while hesitating, as if doubtful whether to
+take it or no; but I pressed it on him, and made him accept it,
+and it was not much less worth than his leather pouch full of
+Spanish gold; no, though it were to be reckoned as if at London,
+whereas it was worth twice as much there, where I gave it him.
+At length he took it, kissed it, told me the watch should be a
+debt upon him that he would be paying as long as I lived.
+
+A few days after he brought the writings of gift, and the
+scrivener with them, and I signed them very freely, and
+delivered them to him with a hundred kisses; for sure nothing
+ever passed between a mother and a tender, dutiful child with
+more affection.  The next day he brings me an obligation
+under his hand and seal, whereby he engaged himself to
+manage and improve the plantation for my account, and with
+his utmost skill, and to remit the produce to my order wherever
+I should be; and withal, to be obliged himself to make up the
+produce #100 a year to me.  When he had done so, he told me
+that as I came to demand it before the crop was off, I had a
+right to produce of the current year, and so he paid me #100
+in Spanish pieces of eight, and desired me to give him a receipt
+for it as in full for that year, ending at Christmas following;
+this being about the latter end of August.
+
+I stayed here about five weeks, and indeed had much ado to
+get away then.  Nay, he would have come over the bay with
+me, but I would by no means allow him to it.  However, he
+would send me over in a sloop of his own, which was built
+like a yacht, and served him as well for pleasure as business.
+This I accepted of, and so, after the utmost expressions both
+of duty and affection, he let me come away, and I arrived safe
+in two days at my friend's the Quaker's.
+
+I brought over with me for the use of our plantation, three
+horses, with harness and saddles, some hogs, two cows, and
+a thousand other things, the gift of the kindest and tenderest
+child that ever woman had.  I related to my husband all the
+particulars of this voyage, except that I called my son my
+cousin; and first I told him that I had lost my watch, which
+he seemed to take as a misfortune; but then I told him how
+kind my cousin had been, that my mother had left me such a
+plantation, and that he had preserved it for me, in hopes some
+time or other he should hear from me; then I told him that I
+had left it to his management, that he would render me a
+faithful account of its produce; and then I pulled him out the
+#100 in silver, as the first year's produce; and then pulling
+out the deerskin purse with the pistoles, 'And here, my dear,'
+says I, 'is the gold watch.'  My husband--so is Heaven's
+goodness sure to work the same effects in all sensible minds
+where mercies touch the heart--lifted up both hands, and with
+an ecstacy of joy, 'What is God a-doing,' says he, 'for such an
+ungrateful dog as I am!'  Then I let him know what I had
+brought over in the sloop, besides all this; I mean the horses,
+hogs, and cows, and other stores for our plantation; all which
+added to his surprise, and filled his heart with thankfulness;
+and from this time forward I believe he was as sincere a penitent,
+and as thoroughly a reformed man, as ever God's goodness
+brought back from a profligate, a highwayman, and a robber.
+I could fill a larger history than this with the evidence of this
+truth, and but that I doubt that part of the story will not be
+equally diverting as the wicked part, I have had thoughts of
+making a volume of it by itself.
+
+As for myself, as this is to be my own story, not my husband's,
+I return to that part which related to myself.  We went on with
+our plantation, and managed it with the help and diversion of
+such friends as we got there by our obliging behaviour, and
+especially the honest Quaker, who proved a faithful, generous,
+and steady friend to us; and we had very good success, for
+having a flourishing stock to begin with, as I have said, and
+this being now increased by the addition of #150 sterling in
+money, we enlarged our number of servants, built us a very
+good house, and cured every year a great deal of land.  The
+second year I wrote to my old governess, giving her part with
+us of the joy of our success, and order her how to lay out the
+money I had left with her, which was #250 as above, and to
+send it to us in goods, which she performed with her usual
+kindness and fidelity, and this arrived safe to us.
+
+Here we had a supply of all sorts of clothes, as well for my
+husband as for myself; and I took especial care to buy for
+him all those things that I knew he delighted to have; as two
+good long wigs, two silver-hilted swords, three or four fine
+fowling-pieces, a find saddle with holsters and pistols very
+handsome, with a scarlet cloak; and, in a word, everything I
+could think of to oblige him, and to make him appear, as he
+really was, a very fine gentleman.  I ordered a good quantity
+of such household stuff as we yet wanted, with linen of all
+sorts for us both.  As for myself, I wanted very little of clothes
+or linen, being very well furnished before.  The rest of my
+cargo consisted in iron-work of all sorts, harness for horses,
+tools, clothes for servants, and woollen cloth, stuffs, serges,
+stockings, shoes, hats, and the like, such as servants wear;
+and whole pieces also to make up for servants, all by direction
+of the Quaker; and all this cargo arrived safe, and in good
+condition, with three woman-servants, lusty wenches, which
+my old governess had picked for me, suitable enough to the
+place, and to the work we had for them to do; one of which
+happened to come double, having been got with child by one
+of the seamen in the ship, as she owned afterwards, before
+the ship got so far as Gravesend; so she brought us a stout
+boy, about seven months after her landing.
+
+My husband, you may suppose, was a little surprised at the
+arriving of all this cargo from England; and talking with me
+after he saw the account of this particular, 'My dear,' says he,
+'what is the meaning of all this?  I fear you will run us too
+deep in debt:  when shall we be able to make return for it all?'
+I smiled, and told him that is was all paid for; and then I told
+him, that what our circumstances might expose us to, I had
+not taken my whole stock with me, that I had reserved so
+much in my friend's hands, which now we were come over
+safe, and was settled in a way to live, I had sent for, as he
+might see.
+
+He was amazed, and stood a while telling upon his fingers,
+but said nothing.  At last he began thus:  'Hold, let's see,' says
+he, telling upon his fingers still, and first on his thumb; 'there's
+#246 in money at first, then two gold watches, diamond rings,
+and plate,' says he, upon the forefinger.  Then upon the next
+finger, 'Here's a plantation on York River, #100 a year, then
+#150 in money, then a sloop load of horses, cows, hogs, and
+stores'; and so on to the thumb again.  'And now,' says he, 'a
+cargo cost #250 in England, and worth here twice the money.'
+'Well,' says I, 'what do you make of all that?'  'Make of it?'
+says he; 'why, who says I was deceived when I married a wife
+in Lancashire?  I think I have married a fortune, and a very
+good fortune too,' says he.
+
+In a word, we were now in very considerable circumstances,
+and every year increasing; for our new plantation grew upon
+our hands insensibly, and in eight years which we lived upon
+it, we brought it to such pitch, that the produce was at least
+#300 sterling a year; I mean, worth so much in England.
+
+After I had been a year at home again, I went over the bay to
+see my son, and to receive another year's income of my
+plantation; and I was surprised to hear, just at my landing there,
+that my old husband was dead, and had not been buried above
+a fortnight.  This, I confess, was not disagreeable news,
+because now I could appear as I was, in a married condition;
+so I told my son before I came from him, that I believed I
+should marry a gentleman who had a plantation near mine;
+and though I was legally free to marry, as to any obligation
+that was on me before, yet that I was shy of it, lest the blot
+should some time or other be revived, and it might make a
+husband uneasy.  My son, the same kind, dutiful, and obliging
+creature as ever, treated me now at his own house, paid me
+my hundred pounds, and sent me home again loaded with presents.
+
+Some time after this, I let my son know I was married, and
+invited him over to see us, and my husband wrote a very
+obliging letter to him also, inviting him to come and see him;
+and he came accordingly some months after, and happened to
+be there just when my cargo from England came in, which I
+let him believe belonged all to my husband's estate, not to me.
+
+It must be observed that when the old wretch my brother
+(husband) was dead, I then freely gave my husband an account
+of all that affair, and of this cousin, as I had called him before,
+being my own son by that mistaken unhappy match.  He was
+perfectly easy in the account, and told me he should have
+been as easy if the old man, as we called him, had been alive.
+'For,' said he, 'it was no fault of yours, nor of his; it was a
+mistake impossible to be prevented.'  He only reproached him
+with desiring me to conceal it, and to live with him as a wife,
+after I knew that he was my brother; that, he said, was a vile
+part.  Thus all these difficulties were made easy, and we lived
+together with the greatest kindness and comfort imaginable.
+
+We are grown old; I am come back to England, being almost
+seventy years of age, husband sixty-eight, having performed
+much more than the limited terms of my transportation; and
+now, notwithstanding all the fatigues and all the miseries we
+have both gone through, we are both of us in good heart and
+health.  My husband remained there some time after me to settle
+our affairs, and at first I had intended to go back to him, but
+at his desire I altered that resolution, and he is come over to
+England also, where we resolve to spend the remainder of our
+years in sincere penitence for the wicked lives we have lived.
+
+WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1683
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Moll Flanders, by Daniel Defoe
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MOLL FLANDERS ***
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