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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/36841-8.txt b/36841-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..defc27f --- /dev/null +++ b/36841-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1072 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Mundus Foppensis, by John Evelyn + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Mundus Foppensis + The Fop Display'd + +Author: John Evelyn + +Release Date: July 25, 2011 [EBook #36841] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUNDUS FOPPENSIS *** + + + + +Produced by Colin Bell, Joseph Cooper, Carol Ann Brown, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + Mundus Foppensis: + OR, THE + Fop Display'd. + BEING + The Ladies VINDICATION, + + In Answer to a late Pamphlet, Entituled, + Mundus Muliebris: Or, The Ladies + Dressing-Room Unlocked, _&c._ + + In Burlesque. + + Together with a short SUPPLEMENT + to the _Fop-Dictionary_: Compos'd for the + use of the Town _Beaus_. + + _Prisca juvent alios; Ego me nunc denique natum, + Gratulor hęc ętas moribus apta meis. + Non quia nunc terra lentum subducitur aurum + Lectaque diverso littore Concha venit. + Sed quia cultus adest, nec nostros mansit in Annos, + Rusticitas Priscis illa superstes avis._ + + _Ovid_ de Arte Amandi. _Lib. 3._ + + _London,_ Printed for John Harris at the Harrow + in the _Poultry_, 1691. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT + + +There is newly published _The Present State of Europe_; or, _The +Historical and Political Mercury_: Giving an Account of all the publick +and private Occurrences that are most considerable in every Court, for +the Months of _August_ and _September_, 1690. With curious _Reflections_ +upon every State. To be continued Monthly from the Original, published +at the _Hague_ by the Authority of the States of _Holland_ and +_West-Friesland_. Sold by John Harris at the Harrow in the _Poultrey_. + +There is newly published _A plain Relation of the late Action at Sea_, +between the _English_ and _Dutch_, and the _French_ Fleets, from _June_ +22th. to _July_ 5th. last: With _Reflections_ thereupon, and upon the +Present State of the Nation, _&c._ + +Written by the Author of the _Reflections upon the last Years +Occurrences_, &c. _London_, Printed for John Harris at the Harrow in the +_Poultrey_, Price 1 _s._ + + + + + THE + PREFACE. + + +Ladies, + +_In the Tacker together of Mundus Muliebris, As it was a very great +Piece of ill Manners, to unlock your Dressing-Rooms without your Leave, +so was it no less indecent in him to expose your Wardrobes to the World, +especially in such a Rhapsody of Rhime Doggeril as looks much more like +an Inventory than a Poem; however, he has only pilfer'd away the Names +of your Varieties without doing ye any other Mischief; for there is +nothing to be found in all his Index, nor his Dictionary neither, but +what becomes a Person of Quality to give, and a Person of Quality to +receive; and indeed, considering how frail the mortal Estates of mortal +Gentlemen are, it argues but a common Prudence in Ladies to take +Advantage of the Kindness of their Admirers_; to make Hay while the Sun +shines; _well knowing how often they are inveigl'd out of their +Jointures upon all Occasions: Besides, it is a_ _general Desire in Men, +that their Ladies should keep Home, and therefore it is but reasonable +they should make their Homes as delightful as it is possible; and +therefore this Bubble of an Inventory is not to be thought the Effect of +general Repentance, among your Servants and Adorers, but the capricious +Malice of some Person envious of the little Remunerations of your +Kindnesses for being disbandded from your Conversation; little indeed, +considering the Rewards due to your Merits, otherwise it would be the +greatest Injustice upon Earth for the Men to think of reforming the +Women before they reform themselves, who are ten times worse in all +respects, as you will have sufficient to retort upon them when you come +by and by to the Matter._ + +_But to shew that it is no new thing for Ladies to go gay and gaudy, we +find in Ovid, that the Women made use of great Variety of Colours for +the Silks of which they made their Garments, of which the chiefest in +request among them were Azure, Sea-green, Saffron colour, Violet, Ash +colour, Rose colour, Chesnut, Almond Colour, with several others, as +their Fancy thought fit to make choice; nor were they deny'd the Purple +in Grain, overlaid with Pearl, or embroider'd with Gold: Nor_ _was it a +strange thing for the Roman Women to die their Hair Yellow, as an +augmentation to their Beauty; nor did the severity of the times at all +oppose it, but rather allow'd it. Now, says Ovid, The Manner of dressing +is not of one sort, and therefore let every Lady choose what best +becomes her; first consulting her Looking-glass. And soon after, he +confesses that there were not more Leaves upon a large Oak, not so many +Bees in Hybla, nor so many wild Beasts ranging the Alps as he could +number differences of dressing Ladies. He tells ye how Laodamia drest to +set off a long Face. How Diana drest when she went a Hunting: And how +Iole was carelessly drest when she took Alcides Captive in the Dangles +of her Tresses: So that it is no such new thing for the Women of this +Age to desire rich and splendid Ornaments. And why their Grandmothers, +and Great Grandmothers confin'd themselves to their Nuptial Kirtles, +their Gowns and Petticoats that lasted so many Anniversaries; their +Virginals for Musick, and their Spanish Pavans, and Sellingers Rounds +for Recreation, after their long poring upon Tent-stitch, 'tis not a +farthing Matter for our Ladies to enquire: 'Twas their Misfortune they +knew no better; but because they_ _knew no better, 'tis no Argument that +our Ladies should be ty'd to their obsolete Examples: For the +Alterations of Times and Customs alter the Humors and Fashions of an +Age, and change the whole Frame of Conversation. Juno is by the Poets +trick'd up in Vestments embroidered with all the Colours of the +Peacocks; and no question the Poets spoke with Relation to the Gallantry +of the Women of those times. And who so gaudy as Madam Iris in the Skie, +and therefore said to be chief Maid of Honour to Jupiter's Wife. I could +give ye an Account of the Habits of Venus, and the Graces, which the +Poets adapting to the Modes of those Times, plainly demonstrates, that +the Ladies were no less curious in those days than now._ + +_So then, Ladies, for your comfort be it spoken, here's only a Great Cry +and little Wool; while the Unlocker of your Dressing-Rooms brings us a +long Bedroll of hard Names to prove that you make use of a great deal of +Variety to set forth and grace your Beauty, and render your Charms more +unresistable, and that you love to have your Closets splendidly and +richly furnish'd: Heavens be prais'd, he lays nothing Criminal to your +Charge; but only puts ye in mind of a Chapter in Isaiah, of which_ _you +are not bound to take much notice, in regard his mistaking the 6. for +the 3: may secure ye there is little heed to be given to his Divinity._ + +_But on the other side it makes me mad to hear what the Devil of a Roman +Satyr Juvenal speaks of his own Sex; for tho' he makes Women bad enough, +he makes it an easier thing to meet with Prodigies and Monsters, than +Men of Sense and Vertue._ + + Should I behold in _Rome_, that Man, _says he_, + That were of spotless Fame, and Life unblam'd; + More than a Wonder it would be to me, + And I that Monster would compare to damn'd: + Two-headed Boy, with double Members born, + Or Fish, by Plow turn'd up, where lately Corn + In fertile Acres grew; or Fole by Mule + Brought forth, as Heaven would Nature over-rule: + No less amaz'd, than if a stoney Showre + Should from the Skie upon the Pavement pour; + Or that some Swarm of Bees, ascending higher + Than usually, should cluster on the Temple Spire; + Or that some rapid and impetuous Stream, + Should roll into the Sea, all Bloud, or Cream. + +_Heavens! how many Wonders do's Juvenal make at the sight of an Honest +Man in his time; and yet when he has spoken as bad as he could of_ _the +Women, we find no such severe Expressions of his upon the Female Sex. +Now Ladies if good Men are so scarce, what need you care what Fools and +bad Men say. 'Tis true it must be acknowledg'd a hard Censure upon Men; +but it was a Man that said it; and therefore it makes the better for the +Feminine Gender. Well, Ladies, you may be pleas'd to make what use of it +you think fit, as being that which will certainly defend ye against all +the Picklocks of your Dressing-Rooms for the future; besides the Liberty +which Ovid, an Authentick Author, gives ye, to make use of what Dresses, +what Ornaments, what Embellishments you please, according to the Mode +and Practice of those times, under one of the best Rulers of the Roman +Empire, and far more antient than when your Grandmothers and Great +Grandmothers spun Flax, and bespittl'd their Fingers._ + + + + + THE + Fop Display'd; + + OR, + + The Ladies VINDICATION: + + In ANSWER to + + The Ladies Dressing-Room Unlock'd, _&c._ + + + Fain wou'd I, Ladies, briefly know + How you have injur'd Bully _Beau_; + That he thus falls, with so much noise, + Upon your Trinkets, and your Toys? + Something was in't; for I protest t' ye, + He has most wonderfully drest ye: + Nor has his Wrath spar'd ye an inch, + To set ye out in Pedlars French; + And all his Readers to possess, + That Women conjure when they dress: + Malicious _Beau_-Design, to make + The Ladies Dressing-Room to speak + Hard Words, unknown to all their Gransires; + The Language like of Necromancers. + Heavens! must Men still be at th' Mercies + Of new _Medeas_, and new _Circes_; + Not working by the fatal Powers + Of old inchanting Herbs and Flowers; + But by the Magick of their Garments, + Conspiring to renew our Torments? + I'll not believe the venomous Satyr, + It cannot be in Ladies Nature, + So amiable, sweet, and active, + To Study Magical Attractive; + As if they Wanted Help of _Endor_, + Their Graces more Divine to render. + Rather we think this _Jargonry_ + Beyond the Skill of Doctor Dee: + Hell's Preacher, _Phlegyas,_ from below, + Call'd up, and hous'd in carnal _Beau_; + With wicked Hells _Enthusiasm_, + Between each Sex to make a _Chasm_; + For _Virgil_, never tax'd of Nonsense; + Nor yet provok'd, to injure Lady + Brings in the same infernal Rabbi, + Among the Damn'd, disturb'd in Conscience; + And stirr'd with like Satyrick Rage, + Against the Females of that Age. + Ingratefull Rhimer! thus to vex + The more refin'd and lovely Sex, + By acting like officious Novice, + Informer in the Devil's _Crown-Office_, + If we mayn't rather take him for + Some busie, bold Apparator, + In Satan's Commons Court of Arches, + By his more Feminine Researches: + Tho' what if many a tainted Whore + Tormented him before his hour, + 'Twas mean Revenge, howe'er, to fall + On the whole Sex in general; + 'Cause 'twas his ill luck still to light + On Ware unsound, for want of Wit. + What if the Ladies will be brave, + Why may not they a Language have + To wrap their Trinkets up in Mystery? + Since Men are much more blam'd in History, + For tying up their Slipper peaks + With Silver Chains, that reach'd their Necks. + Was't not, d'ye think, a pleasant sight, + To see the smiling Surgeon slit + The swelling Figs, in Bum behind, + Caught by misusing of his Kind? + But Women, only for being quaint, + To signifie the Things they want + By proper Names, must be reproach'd; + For wanton, foolish, and debauch'd; + Yet Learning is no Crime to Ladies, + And Terms of Art are still where Trade is. + Printers speak Gibb'rish at their Cafes; + And Weavers talk in unknown Phrases; + And Blacksmith's 'Prentice takes his Lessons + From Arabick (to us) Expressions: + Why then mayn't Ladies, in their Stations, + Use novel Names for novel Fashions? + And is not _Colbertine_, God save us, + Much nearer far than _Wevus mavus_; + A sort of Cant, with which the young + Corrupted once their Mother Tongue: + Is such a Bumpkin Cant as that + Fit for an Age where only what + Is brisk and airy, new refin'd, + Exalts the Wit, and clears the mind? + No ladies, no; go on your way; + Gay Cloaths require gay Words, we say. + When Art has trimm'd up Head-Attire, + Fit for a Nation to admire; + And Head and Ornament are well met, + Like Amazonian Plume and Helmet; + To call that by a vulgar Name, + Would be too mean, and th' Artist shame; + Call it a _Septizonimum_, or _Tiara_; + Or what you please, that's new and rare-a. + May not the Head, the Seat of Sense, + Name it's own Dress, without Offence? + The Roman Ladies, you are told, + Wore such a Head-Attire of old; + And what if _Juvenal_ were such a Satyr, + The Roman Ladies to bespatter; + Tell _Juvenal_, he was a Fool, + And must not think to _England_ rule: + Why should her Jewels move my Spleen; + Let her out-dazle _Egypt_'s Queen: + It shows that Gold the Pocket lines, + Where such illustrious Glory shines; + And there's a sort of Pride becomes + The Pomp of Dress, as well as Rooms. + I would not for the world be thought + To pick a hole in Ladies Coat; + Because they make it their Delight, + To keep their Bodies trim and tite. + What though the Names be new, and such + As borrow from the French and Dutch? + Or strain'd from the Italian Idiom, + Rather from hence I take the Freedom, + To praise their Care, thus to enrich + And fructifie our barren Speech, + We owe to their Vocabulary, + That makes our Language full and airy, + Enlarging _Meige_'s Dictionary. + Where things want Names, Names must be had: + Shall Lady cry to Chamber-maid, + Bring me my Thing there, for my head; + My Thing there, quilted white and red; + My Thing there for my Wrists and Neck; + 'Tis ten to One the Maids mistake; + Then Lady cries, The Devil take + Such cursed Sots; my tother Thing; + Then 'stead of Shoes, the Cuffs they bring. + 'Slife--Lady crys, if I rise up, + I'll send thee to the Devil to sup; + And thus, like _Babel_, in conclusion, + The Lady's Closet's all Confusion; + When as if Ladies name the Things, + The Maid, whate'er she bid her, brings; + Neither is Lady chaf'd with Anger, + Nor Bones of Maiden put in danger. + Sure then 'twas some ill-natur'd _Beau_, + To persecute the Ladies so; + For peopling, of their own accords, + _Phillip's English World of Words_: + A _Beau_ more cruel than the _Goths_, + Thus to deny the Women Cloaths: + As if to theirs the rich Additions + Were Heathen Rites, and Superstitions; + Or else, as if from _Picts_ descended, + He were with Women's Cloaths offended; + And spite of cold, or heat of air, + He lov'd to see Dame Nature bare. + Their Shoes and Stays, he says, are tawdry, + Not fit to wear 'cause of th' Embroidry. + For Petticoats he'd have e'm bare-breech'd, + From _India_ 'cause the Stuffs are far-fetch'd. + Their Points and Lace he damns to Hell; + Corruptions of the Common-Weal. + The vain Exceptions of Wiseacres, + Fit to goe herd among the Quakers; + And talk to _Maudlin_, in close Hood, + Things that themselves ne'er understood. + Now let us then the _Beau_ survey, + Has he no Baubles to display: + There's first the _Dango_, and the _Snake_, + Those _Dildoes_ in the Nape of Neck; + That dangle down behind, to shew + Dimensions of the _Snake_ below: + 'Tis thick, and long; but pizzl'd at th' end, + And would be thought the Woman's Friend: + Yet they who many times have try'd, + By _Dango_ swear the _Snake_ bely'd. + Then th' insignificant _Knee-Rowl_, + A mere _Whim-wham_, upon my Soul; + For that 'twas never made, I fear, + To save the Master's Knees at Prayer: + Which being worn o'th' largest size, + That Man _Rolls_ full, the Bully cries. + A Term of Art for Knees Concinnity, + Beyond the Sense of School-Divinity. + What _Beau_ himself would so unman, + To ride in scandalous Sedan? + A Carriage only fit for Midwives, + That of their Burthens go to rid Wives; + Unless to hide, from Revelation, + Th' Adulterer's haste to Assignation. + What Dunces are our Tonsors grown, + Where's their Gold Filings in an Amber Box, + To strew upon their Masters Locks, + And make 'em glitter in the Sun? + Sure English _Beaus_ may out-vie _Venus_, + As well as _Commodus_, or _Gallienus_. + 'Twas Goldilocks, my lovely Boy, + Made _Agamemnon_ ruine _Troy_. + I could produce ye Emperours + That sate in Womens Dress whole hours, + Expos'd upon the publick Stage + Their Catamites, Wives by Marr'age. + Your old Trunk-hose are laid aside, + For what-d'-ye-call-em's Tail to hide; + So strait and close upon the Skin, + As onely made for Lady's Eyne; + To see the shape of Thighs and Groin: + Hard case _Priapus_ should be so restrain'd, + That had whole Orchards at command. + Yet these are Toys, in Men, more wise, + To Womens innocent Vanities. + While soft Sir _Courtly Nice_ looks great, + With the unmortgag'd Rents of his Estate: + What is the Learning he adores, + But the Discourse of Pimps and Whores? + She who can tye, with quaintest Art, + The spruce Cravat-string, wins his Heart; + Where that same Toy does not exactly sit, + He's not for common Conversation fit. + How is the Barber held Divine, + That can a Perriwig _Carine_! + Or else _Correct_ it; which you please; + For these are _Terms_ too, now-a-days, + Of modern Gallants to entice + The Barber to advance his Price: + For if a Barber be not dear, + He must not cover Coxcomb's Ear. + Bless us! what's there? 'tis something walks, + A piece of Painting, and yet speaks: + Hard Case to blame the Ladies Washes, + When Men are come to mend their Faces. + Yet some there are such Women grown, + They cann't be by their Faces known: + Some wou'd be like the fair _Adonis_; + Some would be _Hyacinthus_ Cronies; + And then they study wanton use + Of Spanish Red, and white Ceruse; + The only Painters to the Life, + That seem with Natures self at strife; + As if she only the dead Colours laid, + But they the Picture perfect made. + What _Zeuxis_ dare provoke these Elves, + That to out-doe him paint themselves? + For tho' the Birds his painted Grapes did crave, + These paint and all Mankind deceive. + This sure must spend a World of Morning, + More than the Ladies quick adorning; + They have found out a shorter way, + Not as before, to wast the day; + They only comb, wash hands and face, + And streightway, with a comely Grace, + On the admired _Helmet_ goes, + As ready rigg'd as their lac'd Shoes. + Far much more time Men trifling wast, + E'er their soft Bodies can be drest; + The Looking-Glass hangs just before, + And each o'th' Legs requires an hour: + Now thereby, Ladies, hangs a Tale, + A Story for your Cakes and Ale. + A certain _Beau_ was lately dressing, + But sure, e'er he had crav'd Heavens Blessing; + When in comes Friend, and finds him laid + In mournfull plight, upon his Bed. + Dear _Tom_, quoth he, such a Mischance + As ne'er befell the Foes of _France_; + Nay, I must tell thee, _Fleury_ Battel + Was ne'er to _Europe_ half so fatal; + For by I know not what ill luck, + My Glass this Morn fell down and broke + Upon my Shin, just in my Rolling; + Now is not this worth thy condoling? + See Stocking cut, and bloody Shin, + Besides the Charge of healing Skin. + 'Twas the only Kindness of my Fate, + It mist the solid Piece, my Pate. + Ladies, this was ill luck, but you + Have much the worser of the two; + The World is chang'd I know not how, + For Men kiss Men, not Women now; + And your neglected Lips in vain, + Of smugling _Jack_, and _Tom_ complain: + A most unmanly nasty Trick; + One Man to lick the other's Cheek; + And only what renews the shame + Of _J._ the first, and _Buckingham_: + He, true it is, his Wives Embraces fled + To slabber his lov'd _Ganimede_; + But to employ, those Lips were made + For Women in _Gomorrha_'s Trade; + Bespeaks the Reason ill design'd, + Of railing thus 'gainst Woman-kind: + For who that loves as Nature teaches, + That had not rather kiss the Breeches + Of Twenty Women, than to lick + The Bristles of one Male dear _Dick_? + Now wait on _Beau_ to his _Alsatia_, + A Place that loves no _Dei Gratia_; + Where the Undoers live, and Undone, + In _London_, separate from _London_; + Where go but Three Yards from the street, + And you with a new Language meet: + _Prig_, _Prigster_, _Bubble_, _Caravan_, + _Pure Tackle_, _Buttock_, _Purest pure_. + _Sealers_, _Putts_, _Equipp_, and _Bolter_; + _Lug out_, _Scamper_, _rub_ and _scowre_. + _Ready_, _Rhino_, _Coal_, and _Darby_, + _Meggs_, and _Smelts_, and _Hoggs_, and _Decus_; + _Tathers_, _Fambles_, _Tatts_ and _Doctors_, + _Bowsy_, _Smoaky_, _Progg_, and _Cleare_, + _Bolter_, _Banter_, _Cut a shamm_; + With more a great deal of the same. + Should _Saffold_ make but half this Rattle, + When Maidens visit his O-racle, + They'd take him for some Son of _Cham_, + Calling up Legion by his Name, + Add but to this the Flanty-Tant + Of Fopling Al-a-mode Gallant; + Why should not _Gris_, or _Jardine_, + Be as well allow'd as _Bien gaunte_; + _Cloaths_ is a paltry Word _Ma foy_; + But Grandeur in the French _Arroy_. + _Trimming_'s damn'd English, but _le Grass_ + Is that which must for Modish pass. + To call a Shoe a Shoe, is base, + Let the genteel _Picards_ take Place. + Hang _Perriwig_, 'tis only fit + For Barbers Tongues that ne'er spoke Wit; + But if you'd be i'th' Fashion, choose + The far politer Term, _Chedreux_ + What Clown is he that proudly moves, + With on his hands what we call Gloves? + No Friend, for more refin'd converse + Will tell ye they are _Orangers_. + So strangely does _Parisian_ Air + Change English Youth, that half a year + Makes 'em forget all Native Custome, + To bring French Modes, and _Gallic_ Lust home; + Nothing will these Apostates please, + But _Gallic_ Health, and French Disease. + In French their Quarrels, and their Fears, + Their Joys they publish, and their Cares; + In French they quarrel, and in French + _Mon coeur,_ they cry, to paltry Wench. + Why then should these Extravagants + Make such Rhime-doggeril Complaints + Against the Ladies Dressing-Rooms, + And closets stor'd with rich Perfumes? + There's nothing there but what becomes + The Plenty of a fair Estate: + Tho' Chimney Furniture of Plate, + Tho' Mortlake Tapestry, Damask-Bed; + Or Velvet all Embroidered; + Tho' they affect a handsome store, + Of part for State, of usefull more; + They're Glories not to be deny'd + To Women, stopping there their Pride; + For such a Pride has nothing ill, + But only makes them more genteel. + Should Nature these fine Toys produce, + And Women be debarr'd the use? + These are no Masculine Delights; + Studies of Books for Men are sights; + A Stable with good Horses stor'd, + And Payment punctual to their Word: + Proportion these things to my Wishes, + Let Women take the Porcelan Dishes; + The Toylet Plates gilt and embost, + With all the rest of little cost; + Such small Diffusion feeds the Poor, + While Misers hoard up all their store. + Our Satyr then was one of those + Who ne'er had Wealth at his dispose; + Or being sped to live in Plenty, + Posted to find his Coffers empty; + Addicted all to sport and Gaming, + And that same Vice not worth the naming; + Till deeply dipp'd in Us'rers Books, + And over-rid by Cheats and Rooks, + The _Mint_ becomes his Sanctuary, + Where not of his past Errors weary, + But aged grown, and impotent, + Alike in Purse and Codpiece spent, + He _Cynic_ turns, in _Kings-Bench_ Tub, + And vents the Froth of Brewers Bub: + Where we will leave him melancholly, + Bewailing Poverty, and Folly. + + + + + A Short _Supplement_ to the _Fop-Dictionary_, + so far as concerns the present Matter. + + + + _Adieu donce me Cheres._ + Farewell my dear Friends. + + _Arroy._ + A Suit of Cloaths. + + _To adjust a Man's self._ + That is, to dress himself. + + _Beau._ + A Masculine French Adjective, signifying fine but now naturaliz'd + into _English_ to denote a sparkish dressing Fop. + + _Beaux Esprits._ + A Club of Wits, who call'd themselves so. + + _Bachique._ + A Drinking Song or Catch. + + _The Brilliant_ of Language. + Sharpness and wittiness of Expression. + + _A Brandenburgh._ + A Morning Gown. + + _To Carine a Perriwig._ + That is, to order it. + + _Chedreux._ + A Perriwig. + + _Correct._ + The same as Carine. + + _Deshabille._ + Undrest, or rather in a careless Dress. + + _En Cavalier._ + Like a Gentleman. + + _Esclat._ + Of Beauty, or the Lustre of Beauty. + + _Eveille._ + I observ'd her more _Eveille_ than other Women; + that is, more sprightly and airey. + + _Equipt._ + That is, well furnish'd with Money and Cloaths. + + _Gaunte Bien Gaunte._ + Modish in his Gloves. + + _Grossier._ + The World is very _Grossier_; that is, very dull, and + ill bred. + + _Levee and Couchee._ + Is to attend a Gentleman at his rising or going to + Bed. + + _Le Grass._ + The furniture of a Suit. + + _Orangers._ + The Term for Gloves scented with Oranges. + + _Picards._ + Shoes in downright English. + + _Pulvillio._ + Sweet Powder for the Hair. + + _Rolls._ + A sort of Dress for the Knees, invented as some say by the Roman + Catholicks, for the conveniency of Kneeling, but others ascribe the + lucky Fancy to Coll. S----. + + _A Revoir._ + Till I see you again. + + _Surtout._ + The great Coat which covers all. + + For the rest you are referr'd to the Dilucidations + of the _Alsatian_ Squire. + + + FINIS. + + + + +Transcriber's notes: + +Other editions of Ovid's 'de Arte Amandi' quoted on the title page use +the words 'terrę' for 'terra' and 'litore' for 'littore.' Those words are +presented here as printed. Spelling was not changed, except for 'thtng' +to 'thing' ... it is no new thing for Ladies ... + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Mundus Foppensis, by John Evelyn + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUNDUS FOPPENSIS *** + +***** This file should be named 36841-8.txt or 36841-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/8/4/36841/ + +Produced by Colin Bell, Joseph Cooper, Carol Ann Brown, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Mundus Foppensis + The Fop Display'd + +Author: John Evelyn + +Release Date: July 25, 2011 [EBook #36841] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUNDUS FOPPENSIS *** + + + + +Produced by Colin Bell, Joseph Cooper, Carol Ann Brown, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="box"> +<h1><ins title="Printed in blackletter font in the original">Mundus +Foppensis:</ins></h1> +<p class="p2 center ls">OR, THE</p> +<h1>Fop Display'd.</h1> +<p class="center ls">BEING</p> +<h3>The Ladies <span class="ls">VINDICATION</span>,</h3> + +<p class="center">In Answer to a late Pamphlet, Entituled,</p> +<p class="center"><ins title="Printed in blackletter font in the +original"><b>Mundus Muliebris:</b></ins> Or, The Ladies</p> +<p class="center">Dressing-Room Unlocked, <i>&c.</i></p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="center">In Burlesque.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p class="center">Together with a short <span +class="ls">SUPPLEMENT</span><br /> +to the <i>Fop-Dictionary</i>: Compos'd for the<br /> +use of the Town <i>Beaus</i>.</p> + +<hr /> + +<div class="poem smaller"> +<span class="i0"><i>Prisca juvent alios; Ego me nunc denique + natum,</i></span> +<span class="i2"><i>Gratulor hęc ętas moribus apta meis.</i></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Non quia nunc <ins title="Other editions read + 'Terrę.'">terra</ins> lentum subducitur aurum</i></span> +<span class="i2"><i>Lectaque diverso <ins title="Other editions read + 'litore.'">littore</ins> Concha venit.</i></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Sed quia cultus adest, nec nostros mansit in + Annos,</i></span> +<span class="i2"><i>Rusticitas Priscis illa superstes avis.</i></span> +<p class="quotesig"><i>Ovid</i> de Arte Amandi. <i>Lib. 3.</i></p> +</div> +<hr /> + +<p class="center"><i>London,</i> Printed for <ins title="Printed in +blackletter font in the original">John Harris</ins> at the Harrow<br +/> in the <i>Poultry</i>, 1691.</p> + +</div> + +<p class="p4 center larger"><ins title="Printed in blackletter font +in the original"><b>ADVERTISEMENT.</b></ins></p> + +<p class="dropcap">There is newly published <i>The Present State of +Europe</i>; or, <i>The Historical and Political Mercury</i>: Giving +an Account of all the publick and private Occurrences that are most +considerable in every Court, for the Months of <i>August</i> and +<i>September</i>, 1690. With curious <i>Reflections</i> upon every +State. To be continued Monthly from the Original, published at the +<i>Hague</i> by the Authority of the States of <i>Holland</i> and +<i>West-Friesland</i>. Sold by <ins title="Printed in blackletter +font in the original"><b>John Harris</b></ins> at the Harrow in the +<i>Poultrey</i>.</p> + +<p class="dropcap">There is newly published <i>A plain Relation of +the late Action at Sea</i>, between the <i>English</i> and +<i>Dutch</i>, and the <i>French</i> Fleets, from <i>June</i> 22th. +to <i>July</i> 5th. last: With <i>Reflections</i> thereupon, and +upon the Present State of the Nation, <i>&c.</i></p> + +<p>Written by the Author of the <i>Reflections upon the last Years +Occurrences</i>, &c. <i>London</i>, Printed for <ins +title="Printed in blackletter font in the original"><b>John +Harris</b></ins> at the Harrow in the <i>Poultrey</i>, Price 1 +<i>s.</i></p> + +<hr class="p4" /> + +<p class="p4 center ls">THE</p> +<h1>PREFACE.</h1> + +<p class="p2">Ladies,</p> + +<p class="dropcap">I<i>n the Tacker together of <ins title="Printed +in blackletter font in the original"><b>Mundus Muliebris</b></ins>, +As it was a very great Piece of ill Manners, to unlock your +Dressing-Rooms without your Leave, so was it no less indecent in him +to expose your Wardrobes to the World, especially in such a Rhapsody +of Rhime Doggeril as looks much more like an Inventory than a Poem; +however, he has only pilfer'd away the Names of your Varieties +without doing ye any other Mischief; for there is nothing to be +found in all his Index, nor his Dictionary neither, but what becomes +a Person of Quality to give, and a Person of Quality to receive; and +indeed, considering how frail the mortal Estates of mortal Gentlemen +are, it argues but a common Prudence in Ladies to take Advantage of +the Kindness of their Admirers</i>; to make Hay while the Sun +shines; <i>well knowing how often they are inveigl'd out of their +Jointures upon all Occasions: Besides, it is a general Desire in +Men, that their Ladies should keep Home, and therefore it is but +reasonable they should make their Homes as delightful as it is +possible; and therefore this Bubble of an Inventory is not to be +thought the Effect of general Repentance, among your Servants and +Adorers, but the capricious Malice of some Person envious of the +little Remunerations of your Kindnesses for being disbandded from +your Conversation; little indeed, considering the Rewards due to +your Merits, otherwise it would be the greatest Injustice upon Earth +for the Men to think of reforming the Women before they reform +themselves, who are ten times worse in all respects, as you will +have sufficient to retort upon them when you come by and by to the +Matter.</i></p> + +<p><i>But to shew that it is no new <ins title="'thtng' in the +original">thing</ins> for Ladies to go gay and gaudy, we find in</i> +Ovid, <i>that the Women made use of great Variety of Colours for the +Silks of which they made their Garments, of which the chiefest in +request among them were Azure, Sea-green, Saffron colour, Violet, +Ash colour, Rose colour, Chesnut, Almond Colour, with several +others, as their Fancy thought fit to make choice; nor were they +deny'd the Purple in Grain, overlaid with Pearl, or embroider'd with +Gold: Nor was it a strange thing for the Roman Women to die their +Hair Yellow, as an augmentation to their Beauty; nor did the +severity of the times at all oppose it, but rather allow'd it. Now, +says</i> Ovid, <i>The Manner of dressing is not of one sort, and +therefore let every Lady choose what best becomes her; first +consulting her Looking-glass. And soon after, he confesses that +there were not more Leaves upon a large Oak, not so many Bees in</i> +Hybla, <i>nor so many wild Beasts ranging the Alps as he could +number differences of dressing Ladies. He tells ye how</i> Laodamia +<i>drest to set off a long Face. How</i> Diana <i>drest when she +went a Hunting: And how</i> Iole <i>was carelessly drest when she +took</i> Alcides <i>Captive in the Dangles of her Tresses: So that +it is no such new thing for the Women of this Age to desire rich and +splendid Ornaments. And why their Grandmothers, and Great +Grandmothers confin'd themselves to their Nuptial Kirtles, their +Gowns and Petticoats that lasted so many Anniversaries; their +Virginals for Musick, and their Spanish Pavans, and Sellingers +Rounds for Recreation, after their long poring upon Tent-stitch, +'tis not a farthing Matter for our Ladies to enquire: 'Twas their +Misfortune they knew no better; but because they knew no better, +'tis no Argument that our Ladies should be ty'd to their obsolete +Examples: For the Alterations of Times and Customs alter the Humors +and Fashions of an Age, and change the whole Frame of +Conversation.</i> Juno <i>is by the Poets trick'd up in Vestments +embroidered with all the Colours of the Peacocks; and no question +the Poets spoke with Relation to the Gallantry of the Women of those +times. And who so gaudy as Madam</i> Iris <i>in the Skie, and +therefore said to be chief Maid of Honour to</i> Jupiter'<i>s Wife. +I could give ye an Account of the Habits of</i> Venus, <i>and the +Graces, which the Poets adapting to the Modes of those Times, +plainly demonstrates, that the Ladies were no less curious in those +days than now.</i></p> + +<p><i>So then, Ladies, for your comfort be it spoken, here's only +a</i> Great Cry and little Wool; <i>while the Unlocker of your +Dressing-Rooms brings us a long Bedroll of hard Names to prove that +you make use of a great deal of Variety to set forth and grace your +Beauty, and render your Charms more unresistable, and that you love +to have your Closets splendidly and richly furnish'd: Heavens be +prais'd, he lays nothing Criminal to your Charge; but only puts ye +in mind of a Chapter in</i> Isaiah, <i>of which you are not bound to +take much notice, in regard his mistaking the 6. for the 3: may +secure ye there is little heed to be given to his Divinity.</i></p> + +<p><i>But on the other side it makes me mad to hear what the Devil +of a Roman Satyr</i> Juvenal <i>speaks of his own Sex; for tho' he +makes Women bad enough, he makes it an easier thing to meet with +Prodigies and Monsters, than Men of Sense and Vertue.</i></p> + +<div class="poem"> +<span class="i0">Should I behold in <i>Rome</i>, that Man, <i>says + he</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">That were of spotless Fame, and Life unblam'd;</span> +<span class="i0">More than a Wonder it would be to me,</span> +<span class="i0">And I that Monster would compare to damn'd:</span> +<span class="i0">Two-headed Boy, with double Members born,</span> +<span class="i0">Or Fish, by Plow turn'd up, where lately Corn</span> +<span class="i0">In fertile Acres grew; or Fole by Mule</span> +<span class="i0">Brought forth, as Heaven would Nature + over-rule:</span> +<span class="i0">No less amaz'd, than if a stoney Showre</span> +<span class="i0">Should from the Skie upon the Pavement pour;</span> +<span class="i0">Or that some Swarm of Bees, ascending higher</span> +<span class="i0">Than usually, should cluster on the Temple + Spire;</span> +<span class="i0">Or that some rapid and impetuous Stream,</span> +<span class="i0">Should roll into the Sea, all Bloud, or Cream.</span> +</div> + +<p><i>Heavens! how many Wonders do's</i> Juvenal <i>make at the +sight of an Honest Man in his time; and yet when he has spoken as +bad as he could of the Women, we find no such severe Expressions of +his upon the Female Sex. Now Ladies if good Men are so scarce, what +need you care what Fools and bad Men say. 'Tis true it must be +acknowledg'd a hard Censure upon Men; but it was a Man that said it; +and therefore it makes the better for the Feminine Gender. Well, +Ladies, you may be pleas'd to make what use of it you think fit, as +being that which will certainly defend ye against all the Picklocks +of your Dressing-Rooms for the future; besides the Liberty which</i> +Ovid, <i>an Authentick Author, gives ye, to make use of what +Dresses, what Ornaments, what Embellishments you please, according +to the Mode and Practice of those times, under one of the best +Rulers of the</i> Roman <i>Empire, and far more antient than when +your Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers spun Flax, and bespittl'd +their Fingers.</i></p> + +<p class="p4 center">THE</p> +<h1><ins title="Printed in blackletter font in the original">Fop +Display'd;</ins></h1> + +<p class="ls center">OR,</p> + +<p class="center larger">The Ladies <span +class="ls">VINDICATION</span>:</p> + +<p class="center">In <span class="ls">ANSWER</span> to</p> + +<p class="center">The Ladies Dressing-Room Unlock'd, +<i>&c.</i></p> + +<div class="poem"> +<span class="i0">Fain wou'd I, Ladies, briefly know</span> +<span class="i0">How you have injur'd Bully <i>Beau</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">That he thus falls, with so much noise,</span> +<span class="i0">Upon your Trinkets, and your Toys?</span> +<span class="i0">Something was in't; for I protest t' ye,</span> +<span class="i0">He has most wonderfully drest ye:</span> +<span class="i0">Nor has his Wrath spar'd ye an inch,</span> +<span class="i0">To set ye out in Pedlars French;</span> +<span class="i0">And all his Readers to possess,</span> +<span class="i0">That Women conjure when they dress:</span> +<span class="i0">Malicious <i>Beau</i>-Design, to make</span> +<span class="i0">The Ladies Dressing-Room to speak</span> +<span class="i0">Hard Words, unknown to all their Gransires;</span> +<span class="i0">The Language like of Necromancers.</span> +<span class="i0">Heavens! must Men still be at th' Mercies</span> +<span class="i0">Of new <i>Medeas</i>, and new <i>Circes</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">Not working by the fatal Powers</span> +<span class="i0">Of old inchanting Herbs and Flowers;</span> +<span class="i0">But by the Magick of their Garments,</span> +<span class="i0">Conspiring to renew our Torments?</span> +<span class="i0">I'll not believe the venomous Satyr,</span> +<span class="i0">It cannot be in Ladies Nature,</span> +<span class="i0">So amiable, sweet, and active,</span> +<span class="i0">To Study Magical Attractive;</span> +<span class="i0">As if they Wanted Help of <i>Endor</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">Their Graces more Divine to render.</span> +<span class="i0">Rather we think this <i>Jargonry</i></span> +<span class="i0">Beyond the Skill of Doctor Dee:</span> +<span class="i0">Hell's Preacher, <i>Phlegyas,</i> from below,</span> +<span class="i0">Call'd up, and hous'd in carnal <i>Beau</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">With wicked Hells <i>Enthusiasm</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">Between each Sex to make a <i>Chasm</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">For <i>Virgil</i>, never tax'd of Nonsense;</span> +<span class="i0">Nor yet provok'd, to injure Lady</span> +<span class="i0">Brings in the same infernal Rabbi,</span> +<span class="i0">Among the Damn'd, disturb'd in Conscience;</span> +<span class="i0">And stirr'd with like Satyrick Rage,</span> +<span class="i0">Against the Females of that Age.</span> +<span class="i2">Ingratefull Rhimer! thus to vex</span> +<span class="i0">The more refin'd and lovely Sex,</span> +<span class="i0">By acting like officious Novice,</span> +<span class="i0">Informer in the Devil's <i>Crown-Office</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">If we mayn't rather take him for</span> +<span class="i0">Some busie, bold Apparator,</span> +<span class="i0">In Satan's Commons Court of Arches,</span> +<span class="i0">By his more Feminine Researches:</span> +<span class="i0">Tho' what if many a tainted Whore</span> +<span class="i0">Tormented him before his hour,</span> +<span class="i0">'Twas mean Revenge, howe'er, to fall</span> +<span class="i0">On the whole Sex in general;</span> +<span class="i0">'Cause 'twas his ill luck still to light</span> +<span class="i0">On Ware unsound, for want of Wit.</span> +<span class="i2">What if the Ladies will be brave,</span> +<span class="i0">Why may not they a Language have</span> +<span class="i0">To wrap their Trinkets up in Mystery?</span> +<span class="i0">Since Men are much more blam'd in History,</span> +<span class="i0">For tying up their Slipper peaks</span> +<span class="i0">With Silver Chains, that reach'd their Necks.</span> +<span class="i0">Was't not, d'ye think, a pleasant sight,</span> +<span class="i0">To see the smiling Surgeon slit</span> +<span class="i0">The swelling Figs, in Bum behind,</span> +<span class="i0">Caught by misusing of his Kind?</span> +<span class="i0">But Women, only for being quaint,</span> +<span class="i0">To signifie the Things they want</span> +<span class="i0">By proper Names, must be reproach'd;</span> +<span class="i0">For wanton, foolish, and debauch'd;</span> +<span class="i0">Yet Learning is no Crime to Ladies,</span> +<span class="i0">And Terms of Art are still where Trade is.</span> +<span class="i0">Printers speak Gibb'rish at their Cafes;</span> +<span class="i0">And Weavers talk in unknown Phrases;</span> +<span class="i0">And Blacksmith's 'Prentice takes his Lessons</span> +<span class="i0">From Arabick (to us) Expressions:</span> +<span class="i0">Why then mayn't Ladies, in their Stations,</span> +<span class="i0">Use novel Names for novel Fashions?</span> +<span class="i0">And is not <i>Colbertine</i>, God save us,</span> +<span class="i0">Much nearer far than <i>Wevus mavus</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">A sort of Cant, with which the young</span> +<span class="i0">Corrupted once their Mother Tongue:</span> +<span class="i0">Is such a Bumpkin Cant as that</span> +<span class="i0">Fit for an Age where only what</span> +<span class="i0">Is brisk and airy, new refin'd,</span> +<span class="i0">Exalts the Wit, and clears the mind?</span> +<span class="i0">No ladies, no; go on your way;</span> +<span class="i0">Gay Cloaths require gay Words, we say.</span> +<span class="i2">When Art has trimm'd up Head-Attire,</span> +<span class="i0">Fit for a Nation to admire;</span> +<span class="i0">And Head and Ornament are well met,</span> +<span class="i0">Like Amazonian Plume and Helmet;</span> +<span class="i0">To call that by a vulgar Name,</span> +<span class="i0">Would be too mean, and th' Artist shame;</span> +<span class="i0">Call it a <i>Septizonimum</i>, or <i>Tiara</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">Or what you please, that's new and rare-a.</span> +<span class="i0">May not the Head, the Seat of Sense,</span> +<span class="i0">Name it's own Dress, without Offence?</span> +<span class="i0">The Roman Ladies, you are told,</span> +<span class="i0">Wore such a Head-Attire of old;</span> +<span class="i0">And what if <i>Juvenal</i> were such a Satyr,</span> +<span class="i0">The Roman Ladies to bespatter;</span> +<span class="i0">Tell <i>Juvenal</i>, he was a Fool,</span> +<span class="i0">And must not think to <i>England</i> rule:</span> +<span class="i0">Why should her Jewels move my Spleen;</span> +<span class="i0">Let her out-dazle <i>Egypt</i>'s Queen:</span> +<span class="i0">It shows that Gold the Pocket lines,</span> +<span class="i0">Where such illustrious Glory shines;</span> +<span class="i0">And there's a sort of Pride becomes</span> +<span class="i0">The Pomp of Dress, as well as Rooms.</span> +<span class="i0">I would not for the world be thought</span> +<span class="i0">To pick a hole in Ladies Coat;</span> +<span class="i0">Because they make it their Delight,</span> +<span class="i0">To keep their Bodies trim and tite.</span> +<span class="i0">What though the Names be new, and such</span> +<span class="i0">As borrow from the French and Dutch?</span> +<span class="i0">Or strain'd from the Italian Idiom,</span> +<span class="i0">Rather from hence I take the Freedom,</span> +<span class="i0">To praise their Care, thus to enrich</span> +<span class="i0">And fructifie our barren Speech,</span> +<span class="i0">We owe to their Vocabulary,</span> +<span class="i0">That makes our Language full and airy,</span> +<span class="i0">Enlarging <i>Meige</i>'s Dictionary.</span> +<span class="i0">Where things want Names, Names must be had:</span> +<span class="i0">Shall Lady cry to Chamber-maid,</span> +<span class="i0">Bring me my Thing there, for my head;</span> +<span class="i0">My Thing there, quilted white and red;</span> +<span class="i0">My Thing there for my Wrists and Neck;</span> +<span class="i0">'Tis ten to One the Maids mistake;</span> +<span class="i0">Then Lady cries, The Devil take</span> +<span class="i0">Such cursed Sots; my tother Thing;</span> +<span class="i0">Then 'stead of Shoes, the Cuffs they bring.</span> +<span class="i0">'Slife—Lady crys, if I rise up,</span> +<span class="i0">I'll send thee to the Devil to sup;</span> +<span class="i0">And thus, like <i>Babel</i>, in conclusion,</span> +<span class="i0">The Lady's Closet's all Confusion;</span> +<span class="i0">When as if Ladies name the Things,</span> +<span class="i0">The Maid, whate'er she bid her, brings;</span> +<span class="i0">Neither is Lady chaf'd with Anger,</span> +<span class="i0">Nor Bones of Maiden put in danger.</span> +<span class="i2">Sure then 'twas some ill-natur'd <i>Beau</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">To persecute the Ladies so;</span> +<span class="i0">For peopling, of their own accords,</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Phillip's English World of Words</i>:</span> +<span class="i0">A <i>Beau</i> more cruel than the <i>Goths</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">Thus to deny the Women Cloaths:</span> +<span class="i0">As if to theirs the rich Additions</span> +<span class="i0">Were Heathen Rites, and Superstitions;</span> +<span class="i0">Or else, as if from <i>Picts</i> descended,</span> +<span class="i0">He were with Women's Cloaths offended;</span> +<span class="i0">And spite of cold, or heat of air,</span> +<span class="i0">He lov'd to see Dame Nature bare.</span> +<span class="i0">Their Shoes and Stays, he says, are tawdry,</span> +<span class="i0">Not fit to wear 'cause of th' Embroidry.</span> +<span class="i0">For Petticoats he'd have e'm bare-breech'd,</span> +<span class="i0">From <i>India</i> 'cause the Stuffs are + far-fetch'd.</span> +<span class="i0">Their Points and Lace he damns to Hell;</span> +<span class="i0">Corruptions of the Common-Weal.</span> +<span class="i0">The vain Exceptions of Wiseacres,</span> +<span class="i0">Fit to goe herd among the Quakers;</span> +<span class="i0">And talk to <i>Maudlin</i>, in close Hood,</span> +<span class="i0">Things that themselves ne'er understood.</span> +<span class="i0">Now let us then the <i>Beau</i> survey,</span> +<span class="i0">Has he no Baubles to display:</span> +<span class="i0">There's first the <i>Dango</i>, and the + <i>Snake</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">Those <i>Dildoes</i> in the Nape of Neck;</span> +<span class="i0">That dangle down behind, to shew</span> +<span class="i0">Dimensions of the <i>Snake</i> below:</span> +<span class="i0">'Tis thick, and long; but pizzl'd at th' end,</span> +<span class="i0">And would be thought the Woman's Friend:</span> +<span class="i0">Yet they who many times have try'd,</span> +<span class="i0">By <i>Dango</i> swear the <i>Snake</i> bely'd.</span> +<span class="i0">Then th' insignificant <i>Knee-Rowl</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">A mere <i>Whim-wham</i>, upon my Soul;</span> +<span class="i0">For that 'twas never made, I fear,</span> +<span class="i0">To save the Master's Knees at Prayer:</span> +<span class="i0">Which being worn o'th' largest size,</span> +<span class="i0">That Man <i>Rolls</i> full, the Bully cries.</span> +<span class="i0">A Term of Art for Knees Concinnity,</span> +<span class="i0">Beyond the Sense of School-Divinity.</span> +<span class="i2">What <i>Beau</i> himself would so unman,</span> +<span class="i0">To ride in scandalous Sedan?</span> +<span class="i0">A Carriage only fit for Midwives,</span> +<span class="i0">That of their Burthens go to rid Wives;</span> +<span class="i0">Unless to hide, from Revelation,</span> +<span class="i0">Th' Adulterer's haste to Assignation.</span> +<span class="i2">What Dunces are our Tonsors grown,</span> +<span class="i0">Where's their Gold Filings in an Amber Box,</span> +<span class="i0">To strew upon their Masters Locks,</span> +<span class="i0">And make 'em glitter in the Sun?</span> +<span class="i0">Sure English <i>Beaus</i> may out-vie + <i>Venus</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">As well as <i>Commodus</i>, or + <i>Gallienus</i>.</span> +<span class="i0">'Twas Goldilocks, my lovely Boy,</span> +<span class="i0">Made <i>Agamemnon</i> ruine <i>Troy</i>.</span> +<span class="i2">I could produce ye Emperours</span> +<span class="i0">That sate in Womens Dress whole hours,</span> +<span class="i0">Expos'd upon the publick Stage</span> +<span class="i0">Their Catamites, Wives by Marr'age.</span> +<span class="i2">Your old Trunk-hose are laid aside,</span> +<span class="i0">For what-d'-ye-call-em's Tail to hide;</span> +<span class="i0">So strait and close upon the Skin,</span> +<span class="i0">As onely made for Lady's Eyne;</span> +<span class="i0">To see the shape of Thighs and Groin:</span> +<span class="i0">Hard case <i>Priapus</i> should be so + restrain'd,</span> +<span class="i0">That had whole Orchards at command.</span> +<span class="i0">Yet these are Toys, in Men, more wise,</span> +<span class="i0">To Womens innocent Vanities.</span> +<span class="i0">While soft Sir <i>Courtly Nice</i> looks great,</span> +<span class="i0">With the unmortgag'd Rents of his Estate:</span> +<span class="i0">What is the Learning he adores,</span> +<span class="i0">But the Discourse of Pimps and Whores?</span> +<span class="i0">She who can tye, with quaintest Art,</span> +<span class="i0">The spruce Cravat-string, wins his Heart;</span> +<span class="i0">Where that same Toy does not exactly sit,</span> +<span class="i0">He's not for common Conversation fit.</span> +<span class="i0">How is the Barber held Divine,</span> +<span class="i0">That can a Perriwig <i>Carine</i>!</span> +<span class="i0">Or else <i>Correct</i> it; which you please;</span> +<span class="i0">For these are <i>Terms</i> too, now-a-days,</span> +<span class="i0">Of modern Gallants to entice</span> +<span class="i0">The Barber to advance his Price:</span> +<span class="i0">For if a Barber be not dear,</span> +<span class="i0">He must not cover Coxcomb's Ear.</span> +<span class="i2">Bless us! what's there? 'tis something walks,</span> +<span class="i0">A piece of Painting, and yet speaks:</span> +<span class="i0">Hard Case to blame the Ladies Washes,</span> +<span class="i0">When Men are come to mend their Faces.</span> +<span class="i0">Yet some there are such Women grown,</span> +<span class="i0">They cann't be by their Faces known:</span> +<span class="i0">Some wou'd be like the fair <i>Adonis</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">Some would be <i>Hyacinthus</i> Cronies;</span> +<span class="i0">And then they study wanton use</span> +<span class="i0">Of Spanish Red, and white Ceruse;</span> +<span class="i0">The only Painters to the Life,</span> +<span class="i0">That seem with Natures self at strife;</span> +<span class="i0">As if she only the dead Colours laid,</span> +<span class="i0">But they the Picture perfect made.</span> +<span class="i0">What <i>Zeuxis</i> dare provoke these Elves,</span> +<span class="i0">That to out-doe him paint themselves?</span> +<span class="i0">For tho' the Birds his painted Grapes did crave,</span> +<span class="i0">These paint and all Mankind deceive.</span> +<span class="i0">This sure must spend a World of Morning,</span> +<span class="i0">More than the Ladies quick adorning;</span> +<span class="i0">They have found out a shorter way,</span> +<span class="i0">Not as before, to wast the day;</span> +<span class="i0">They only comb, wash hands and face,</span> +<span class="i0">And streightway, with a comely Grace,</span> +<span class="i0">On the admired <i>Helmet</i> goes,</span> +<span class="i0">As ready rigg'd as their lac'd Shoes.</span> +<span class="i0">Far much more time Men trifling wast,</span> +<span class="i0">E'er their soft Bodies can be drest;</span> +<span class="i0">The Looking-Glass hangs just before,</span> +<span class="i0">And each o'th' Legs requires an hour:</span> +<span class="i0">Now thereby, Ladies, hangs a Tale,</span> +<span class="i0">A Story for your Cakes and Ale.</span> +<span class="i0">A certain <i>Beau</i> was lately dressing,</span> +<span class="i0">But sure, e'er he had crav'd Heavens Blessing;</span> +<span class="i0">When in comes Friend, and finds him laid</span> +<span class="i0">In mournfull plight, upon his Bed.</span> +<span class="i0">Dear <i>Tom</i>, quoth he, such a Mischance</span> +<span class="i0">As ne'er befell the Foes of <i>France</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">Nay, I must tell thee, <i>Fleury</i> Battel</span> +<span class="i0">Was ne'er to <i>Europe</i> half so fatal;</span> +<span class="i0">For by I know not what ill luck,</span> +<span class="i0">My Glass this Morn fell down and broke</span> +<span class="i0">Upon my Shin, just in my Rolling;</span> +<span class="i0">Now is not this worth thy condoling?</span> +<span class="i0">See Stocking cut, and bloody Shin,</span> +<span class="i0">Besides the Charge of healing Skin.</span> +<span class="i0">'Twas the only Kindness of my Fate,</span> +<span class="i0">It mist the solid Piece, my Pate.</span> +<span class="i2">Ladies, this was ill luck, but you</span> +<span class="i0">Have much the worser of the two;</span> +<span class="i0">The World is chang'd I know not how,</span> +<span class="i0">For Men kiss Men, not Women now;</span> +<span class="i0">And your neglected Lips in vain,</span> +<span class="i0">Of smugling <i>Jack</i>, and <i>Tom</i> + complain:</span> +<span class="i0">A most unmanly nasty Trick;</span> +<span class="i0">One Man to lick the other's Cheek;</span> +<span class="i0">And only what renews the shame</span> +<span class="i0">Of <i>J.</i> the first, and <i>Buckingham</i>:</span> +<span class="i0">He, true it is, his Wives Embraces fled</span> +<span class="i0">To slabber his lov'd <i>Ganimede</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">But to employ, those Lips were made</span> +<span class="i0">For Women in <i>Gomorrha</i>'s Trade;</span> +<span class="i0">Bespeaks the Reason ill design'd,</span> +<span class="i0">Of railing thus 'gainst Woman-kind:</span> +<span class="i0">For who that loves as Nature teaches,</span> +<span class="i0">That had not rather kiss the Breeches</span> +<span class="i0">Of Twenty Women, than to lick</span> +<span class="i0">The Bristles of one Male dear <i>Dick</i>?</span> +<span class="i2">Now wait on <i>Beau</i> to his <i>Alsatia</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">A Place that loves no <i>Dei Gratia</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">Where the Undoers live, and Undone,</span> +<span class="i0">In <i>London</i>, separate from <i>London</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">Where go but Three Yards from the street,</span> +<span class="i0">And you with a new Language meet:</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Prig</i>, <i>Prigster</i>, <i>Bubble</i>, + <i>Caravan</i>,</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Pure Tackle</i>, <i>Buttock</i>, <i>Purest + pure</i>.</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Sealers</i>, <i>Putts</i>, <i>Equipp</i>, and + <i>Bolter</i>;</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Lug out</i>, <i>Scamper</i>, <i>rub</i> and + <i>scowre</i>.</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Ready</i>, <i>Rhino</i>, <i>Coal</i>, and + <i>Darby</i>,</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Meggs</i>, and <i>Smelts</i>, and <i>Hoggs</i>, + and <i>Decus</i>;</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Tathers</i>, <i>Fambles</i>, <i>Tatts</i> and + <i>Doctors</i>,</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Bowsy</i>, <i>Smoaky</i>, <i>Progg</i>, and + <i>Cleare</i>,</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Bolter</i>, <i>Banter</i>, <i>Cut a shamm</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">With more a great deal of the same.</span> +<span class="i0">Should <i>Saffold</i> make but half this Rattle,</span> +<span class="i0">When Maidens visit his O-racle,</span> +<span class="i0">They'd take him for some Son of <i>Cham</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">Calling up Legion by his Name,</span> +<span class="i2">Add but to this the Flanty-Tant</span> +<span class="i0">Of Fopling Al-a-mode Gallant;</span> +<span class="i0">Why should not <i>Gris</i>, or <i>Jardine</i>,</span> +<span class="i0">Be as well allow'd as <i>Bien gaunte</i>;</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Cloaths</i> is a paltry Word <i>Ma foy</i>;</span> +<span class="i0">But Grandeur in the French <i>Arroy</i>.</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Trimming</i>'s damn'd English, but <i>le + Grass</i></span> +<span class="i0">Is that which must for Modish pass.</span> +<span class="i0">To call a Shoe a Shoe, is base,</span> +<span class="i0">Let the genteel <i>Picards</i> take Place.</span> +<span class="i0">Hang <i>Perriwig</i>, 'tis only fit</span> +<span class="i0">For Barbers Tongues that ne'er spoke Wit;</span> +<span class="i0">But if you'd be i'th' Fashion, choose</span> +<span class="i0">The far politer Term, <i>Chedreux</i></span> +<span class="i0">What Clown is he that proudly moves,</span> +<span class="i0">With on his hands what we call Gloves?</span> +<span class="i0">No Friend, for more refin'd converse</span> +<span class="i0">Will tell ye they are <i>Orangers</i>.</span> +<span class="i0">So strangely does <i>Parisian</i> Air</span> +<span class="i0">Change English Youth, that half a year</span> +<span class="i0">Makes 'em forget all Native Custome,</span> +<span class="i0">To bring French Modes, and <i>Gallic</i> Lust + home;</span> +<span class="i0">Nothing will these Apostates please,</span> +<span class="i0">But <i>Gallic</i> Health, and French Disease.</span> +<span class="i0">In French their Quarrels, and their Fears,</span> +<span class="i0">Their Joys they publish, and their Cares;</span> +<span class="i0">In French they quarrel, and in French</span> +<span class="i0"><i>Mon coeur,</i> they cry, to paltry Wench.</span> +<span class="i2">Why then should these Extravagants</span> +<span class="i0">Make such Rhime-doggeril Complaints</span> +<span class="i0">Against the Ladies Dressing-Rooms,</span> +<span class="i0">And closets stor'd with rich Perfumes?</span> +<span class="i0">There's nothing there but what becomes</span> +<span class="i0">The Plenty of a fair Estate:</span> +<span class="i0">Tho' Chimney Furniture of Plate,</span> +<span class="i0">Tho' Mortlake Tapestry, Damask-Bed;</span> +<span class="i0">Or Velvet all Embroidered;</span> +<span class="i0">Tho' they affect a handsome store,</span> +<span class="i0">Of part for State, of usefull more;</span> +<span class="i0">They're Glories not to be deny'd</span> +<span class="i0">To Women, stopping there their Pride;</span> +<span class="i0">For such a Pride has nothing ill,</span> +<span class="i0">But only makes them more genteel.</span> +<span class="i0">Should Nature these fine Toys produce,</span> +<span class="i0">And Women be debarr'd the use?</span> +<span class="i0">These are no Masculine Delights;</span> +<span class="i0">Studies of Books for Men are sights;</span> +<span class="i0">A Stable with good Horses stor'd,</span> +<span class="i0">And Payment punctual to their Word:</span> +<span class="i0">Proportion these things to my Wishes,</span> +<span class="i0">Let Women take the Porcelan Dishes;</span> +<span class="i0">The Toylet Plates gilt and embost,</span> +<span class="i0">With all the rest of little cost;</span> +<span class="i0">Such small Diffusion feeds the Poor,</span> +<span class="i0">While Misers hoard up all their store.</span> +<span class="i2">Our Satyr then was one of those</span> +<span class="i0">Who ne'er had Wealth at his dispose;</span> +<span class="i0">Or being sped to live in Plenty,</span> +<span class="i0">Posted to find his Coffers empty;</span> +<span class="i0">Addicted all to sport and Gaming,</span> +<span class="i0">And that same Vice not worth the naming;</span> +<span class="i0">Till deeply dipp'd in Us'rers Books,</span> +<span class="i0">And over-rid by Cheats and Rooks,</span> +<span class="i0">The <i>Mint</i> becomes his Sanctuary,</span> +<span class="i0">Where not of his past Errors weary,</span> +<span class="i0">But aged grown, and impotent,</span> +<span class="i0">Alike in Purse and Codpiece spent,</span> +<span class="i0">He <i>Cynic</i> turns, in <i>Kings-Bench</i> + Tub,</span> +<span class="i0">And vents the Froth of Brewers Bub:</span> +<span class="i0">Where we will leave him melancholly,</span> +<span class="i0">Bewailing Poverty, and Folly.</span> +</div> + +<hr class="p4" /> + +<p class="p4 center"><span class="larger">A Short <i>Supplement</i> to the +<i>Fop-Dictionary</i></span>,<br /> +so far as concerns the present Matter.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Adieu donce me Cheres.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Farewell my dear Friends.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Arroy.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">A Suit of Cloaths.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>To adjust a Man's self.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">That is, to dress himself.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Beau.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">A Masculine French Adjective, signifying fine but now +naturaliz'd into <i>English</i> to denote a sparkish dressing +Fop.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Beaux Esprits.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">A Club of Wits, who call'd themselves so.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Bachique.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">A Drinking Song or Catch.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>The Brilliant</i> of Language.</p> +<p class="p1b">Sharpness and wittiness of Expression.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>A Brandenburgh.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">A Morning Gown.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>To Carine a Perriwig.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">That is, to order it.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Chedreux.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">A Perriwig.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Correct.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">The same as Carine.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Deshabille.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Undrest, or rather in a careless Dress.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>En Cavalier.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Like a Gentleman.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Esclat.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Of Beauty, or the Lustre of Beauty.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Eveille.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">I observ'd her more <i>Eveille</i> than other Women; +that is, more sprightly and airey.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Equipt.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">That is, well furnish'd with Money and Cloaths.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Gaunte Bien Gaunte.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Modish in his Gloves.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Grossier.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">The World is very <i>Grossier</i>; that is, very +dull, and ill bred.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Levee and Couchee.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Is to attend a Gentleman at his rising or going to +Bed.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Le Grass.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">The furniture of a Suit.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Orangers.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">The Term for Gloves scented with Oranges.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Picards.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Shoes in downright English.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Pulvillio.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Sweet Powder for the Hair.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Rolls.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">A sort of Dress for the Knees, invented as some say +by the Roman Catholicks, for the conveniency of Kneeling, but others +ascribe the lucky Fancy to Coll. S<span style="white-space:nowrap;">——.</span></p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>A Revoir.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">Till I see you again.</p> + +<p class="p1a"><i>Surtout.</i></p> +<p class="p1b">The great Coat which covers all.</p> + +<p>For the rest you are referr'd to the Dilucidations +of the <i>Alsatian</i> Squire.</p> + +<p class="center ls"><i>FINIS.</i></p> + +<hr class="p4" /> + +<div class="p4 tnote"> <h3>Transcriber's Notes:</h3> + +<p> Long "s" was changed to contemporary "s" throughout. Font +changes and correction of spelling of one word are indicated by +dotted lines under the text. Scroll the mouse over the word and an +explanation of the alteration will <ins title="Original reads +'apprear'"> appear</ins>.</p> +</div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Mundus Foppensis, by John Evelyn + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUNDUS FOPPENSIS *** + +***** This file should be named 36841-h.htm or 36841-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/8/4/36841/ + +Produced by Colin Bell, Joseph Cooper, Carol Ann Brown, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Mundus Foppensis + The Fop Display'd + +Author: John Evelyn + +Release Date: July 25, 2011 [EBook #36841] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUNDUS FOPPENSIS *** + + + + +Produced by Colin Bell, Joseph Cooper, Carol Ann Brown, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + Mundus Foppensis: + OR, THE + Fop Display'd. + BEING + The Ladies VINDICATION, + + In Answer to a late Pamphlet, Entituled, + Mundus Muliebris: Or, The Ladies + Dressing-Room Unlocked, _&c._ + + In Burlesque. + + Together with a short SUPPLEMENT + to the _Fop-Dictionary_: Compos'd for the + use of the Town _Beaus_. + + _Prisca juvent alios; Ego me nunc denique natum, + Gratulor haec aetas moribus apta meis. + Non quia nunc terra lentum subducitur aurum + Lectaque diverso littore Concha venit. + Sed quia cultus adest, nec nostros mansit in Annos, + Rusticitas Priscis illa superstes avis._ + + _Ovid_ de Arte Amandi. _Lib. 3._ + + _London,_ Printed for John Harris at the Harrow + in the _Poultry_, 1691. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT + + +There is newly published _The Present State of Europe_; or, _The +Historical and Political Mercury_: Giving an Account of all the publick +and private Occurrences that are most considerable in every Court, for +the Months of _August_ and _September_, 1690. With curious _Reflections_ +upon every State. To be continued Monthly from the Original, published +at the _Hague_ by the Authority of the States of _Holland_ and +_West-Friesland_. Sold by John Harris at the Harrow in the _Poultrey_. + +There is newly published _A plain Relation of the late Action at Sea_, +between the _English_ and _Dutch_, and the _French_ Fleets, from _June_ +22th. to _July_ 5th. last: With _Reflections_ thereupon, and upon the +Present State of the Nation, _&c._ + +Written by the Author of the _Reflections upon the last Years +Occurrences_, &c. _London_, Printed for John Harris at the Harrow in the +_Poultrey_, Price 1 _s._ + + + + + THE + PREFACE. + + +Ladies, + +_In the Tacker together of Mundus Muliebris, As it was a very great +Piece of ill Manners, to unlock your Dressing-Rooms without your Leave, +so was it no less indecent in him to expose your Wardrobes to the World, +especially in such a Rhapsody of Rhime Doggeril as looks much more like +an Inventory than a Poem; however, he has only pilfer'd away the Names +of your Varieties without doing ye any other Mischief; for there is +nothing to be found in all his Index, nor his Dictionary neither, but +what becomes a Person of Quality to give, and a Person of Quality to +receive; and indeed, considering how frail the mortal Estates of mortal +Gentlemen are, it argues but a common Prudence in Ladies to take +Advantage of the Kindness of their Admirers_; to make Hay while the Sun +shines; _well knowing how often they are inveigl'd out of their +Jointures upon all Occasions: Besides, it is a_ _general Desire in Men, +that their Ladies should keep Home, and therefore it is but reasonable +they should make their Homes as delightful as it is possible; and +therefore this Bubble of an Inventory is not to be thought the Effect of +general Repentance, among your Servants and Adorers, but the capricious +Malice of some Person envious of the little Remunerations of your +Kindnesses for being disbandded from your Conversation; little indeed, +considering the Rewards due to your Merits, otherwise it would be the +greatest Injustice upon Earth for the Men to think of reforming the +Women before they reform themselves, who are ten times worse in all +respects, as you will have sufficient to retort upon them when you come +by and by to the Matter._ + +_But to shew that it is no new thing for Ladies to go gay and gaudy, we +find in Ovid, that the Women made use of great Variety of Colours for +the Silks of which they made their Garments, of which the chiefest in +request among them were Azure, Sea-green, Saffron colour, Violet, Ash +colour, Rose colour, Chesnut, Almond Colour, with several others, as +their Fancy thought fit to make choice; nor were they deny'd the Purple +in Grain, overlaid with Pearl, or embroider'd with Gold: Nor_ _was it a +strange thing for the Roman Women to die their Hair Yellow, as an +augmentation to their Beauty; nor did the severity of the times at all +oppose it, but rather allow'd it. Now, says Ovid, The Manner of dressing +is not of one sort, and therefore let every Lady choose what best +becomes her; first consulting her Looking-glass. And soon after, he +confesses that there were not more Leaves upon a large Oak, not so many +Bees in Hybla, nor so many wild Beasts ranging the Alps as he could +number differences of dressing Ladies. He tells ye how Laodamia drest to +set off a long Face. How Diana drest when she went a Hunting: And how +Iole was carelessly drest when she took Alcides Captive in the Dangles +of her Tresses: So that it is no such new thing for the Women of this +Age to desire rich and splendid Ornaments. And why their Grandmothers, +and Great Grandmothers confin'd themselves to their Nuptial Kirtles, +their Gowns and Petticoats that lasted so many Anniversaries; their +Virginals for Musick, and their Spanish Pavans, and Sellingers Rounds +for Recreation, after their long poring upon Tent-stitch, 'tis not a +farthing Matter for our Ladies to enquire: 'Twas their Misfortune they +knew no better; but because they_ _knew no better, 'tis no Argument that +our Ladies should be ty'd to their obsolete Examples: For the +Alterations of Times and Customs alter the Humors and Fashions of an +Age, and change the whole Frame of Conversation. Juno is by the Poets +trick'd up in Vestments embroidered with all the Colours of the +Peacocks; and no question the Poets spoke with Relation to the Gallantry +of the Women of those times. And who so gaudy as Madam Iris in the Skie, +and therefore said to be chief Maid of Honour to Jupiter's Wife. I could +give ye an Account of the Habits of Venus, and the Graces, which the +Poets adapting to the Modes of those Times, plainly demonstrates, that +the Ladies were no less curious in those days than now._ + +_So then, Ladies, for your comfort be it spoken, here's only a Great Cry +and little Wool; while the Unlocker of your Dressing-Rooms brings us a +long Bedroll of hard Names to prove that you make use of a great deal of +Variety to set forth and grace your Beauty, and render your Charms more +unresistable, and that you love to have your Closets splendidly and +richly furnish'd: Heavens be prais'd, he lays nothing Criminal to your +Charge; but only puts ye in mind of a Chapter in Isaiah, of which_ _you +are not bound to take much notice, in regard his mistaking the 6. for +the 3: may secure ye there is little heed to be given to his Divinity._ + +_But on the other side it makes me mad to hear what the Devil of a Roman +Satyr Juvenal speaks of his own Sex; for tho' he makes Women bad enough, +he makes it an easier thing to meet with Prodigies and Monsters, than +Men of Sense and Vertue._ + + Should I behold in _Rome_, that Man, _says he_, + That were of spotless Fame, and Life unblam'd; + More than a Wonder it would be to me, + And I that Monster would compare to damn'd: + Two-headed Boy, with double Members born, + Or Fish, by Plow turn'd up, where lately Corn + In fertile Acres grew; or Fole by Mule + Brought forth, as Heaven would Nature over-rule: + No less amaz'd, than if a stoney Showre + Should from the Skie upon the Pavement pour; + Or that some Swarm of Bees, ascending higher + Than usually, should cluster on the Temple Spire; + Or that some rapid and impetuous Stream, + Should roll into the Sea, all Bloud, or Cream. + +_Heavens! how many Wonders do's Juvenal make at the sight of an Honest +Man in his time; and yet when he has spoken as bad as he could of_ _the +Women, we find no such severe Expressions of his upon the Female Sex. +Now Ladies if good Men are so scarce, what need you care what Fools and +bad Men say. 'Tis true it must be acknowledg'd a hard Censure upon Men; +but it was a Man that said it; and therefore it makes the better for the +Feminine Gender. Well, Ladies, you may be pleas'd to make what use of it +you think fit, as being that which will certainly defend ye against all +the Picklocks of your Dressing-Rooms for the future; besides the Liberty +which Ovid, an Authentick Author, gives ye, to make use of what Dresses, +what Ornaments, what Embellishments you please, according to the Mode +and Practice of those times, under one of the best Rulers of the Roman +Empire, and far more antient than when your Grandmothers and Great +Grandmothers spun Flax, and bespittl'd their Fingers._ + + + + + THE + Fop Display'd; + + OR, + + The Ladies VINDICATION: + + In ANSWER to + + The Ladies Dressing-Room Unlock'd, _&c._ + + + Fain wou'd I, Ladies, briefly know + How you have injur'd Bully _Beau_; + That he thus falls, with so much noise, + Upon your Trinkets, and your Toys? + Something was in't; for I protest t' ye, + He has most wonderfully drest ye: + Nor has his Wrath spar'd ye an inch, + To set ye out in Pedlars French; + And all his Readers to possess, + That Women conjure when they dress: + Malicious _Beau_-Design, to make + The Ladies Dressing-Room to speak + Hard Words, unknown to all their Gransires; + The Language like of Necromancers. + Heavens! must Men still be at th' Mercies + Of new _Medeas_, and new _Circes_; + Not working by the fatal Powers + Of old inchanting Herbs and Flowers; + But by the Magick of their Garments, + Conspiring to renew our Torments? + I'll not believe the venomous Satyr, + It cannot be in Ladies Nature, + So amiable, sweet, and active, + To Study Magical Attractive; + As if they Wanted Help of _Endor_, + Their Graces more Divine to render. + Rather we think this _Jargonry_ + Beyond the Skill of Doctor Dee: + Hell's Preacher, _Phlegyas,_ from below, + Call'd up, and hous'd in carnal _Beau_; + With wicked Hells _Enthusiasm_, + Between each Sex to make a _Chasm_; + For _Virgil_, never tax'd of Nonsense; + Nor yet provok'd, to injure Lady + Brings in the same infernal Rabbi, + Among the Damn'd, disturb'd in Conscience; + And stirr'd with like Satyrick Rage, + Against the Females of that Age. + Ingratefull Rhimer! thus to vex + The more refin'd and lovely Sex, + By acting like officious Novice, + Informer in the Devil's _Crown-Office_, + If we mayn't rather take him for + Some busie, bold Apparator, + In Satan's Commons Court of Arches, + By his more Feminine Researches: + Tho' what if many a tainted Whore + Tormented him before his hour, + 'Twas mean Revenge, howe'er, to fall + On the whole Sex in general; + 'Cause 'twas his ill luck still to light + On Ware unsound, for want of Wit. + What if the Ladies will be brave, + Why may not they a Language have + To wrap their Trinkets up in Mystery? + Since Men are much more blam'd in History, + For tying up their Slipper peaks + With Silver Chains, that reach'd their Necks. + Was't not, d'ye think, a pleasant sight, + To see the smiling Surgeon slit + The swelling Figs, in Bum behind, + Caught by misusing of his Kind? + But Women, only for being quaint, + To signifie the Things they want + By proper Names, must be reproach'd; + For wanton, foolish, and debauch'd; + Yet Learning is no Crime to Ladies, + And Terms of Art are still where Trade is. + Printers speak Gibb'rish at their Cafes; + And Weavers talk in unknown Phrases; + And Blacksmith's 'Prentice takes his Lessons + From Arabick (to us) Expressions: + Why then mayn't Ladies, in their Stations, + Use novel Names for novel Fashions? + And is not _Colbertine_, God save us, + Much nearer far than _Wevus mavus_; + A sort of Cant, with which the young + Corrupted once their Mother Tongue: + Is such a Bumpkin Cant as that + Fit for an Age where only what + Is brisk and airy, new refin'd, + Exalts the Wit, and clears the mind? + No ladies, no; go on your way; + Gay Cloaths require gay Words, we say. + When Art has trimm'd up Head-Attire, + Fit for a Nation to admire; + And Head and Ornament are well met, + Like Amazonian Plume and Helmet; + To call that by a vulgar Name, + Would be too mean, and th' Artist shame; + Call it a _Septizonimum_, or _Tiara_; + Or what you please, that's new and rare-a. + May not the Head, the Seat of Sense, + Name it's own Dress, without Offence? + The Roman Ladies, you are told, + Wore such a Head-Attire of old; + And what if _Juvenal_ were such a Satyr, + The Roman Ladies to bespatter; + Tell _Juvenal_, he was a Fool, + And must not think to _England_ rule: + Why should her Jewels move my Spleen; + Let her out-dazle _Egypt_'s Queen: + It shows that Gold the Pocket lines, + Where such illustrious Glory shines; + And there's a sort of Pride becomes + The Pomp of Dress, as well as Rooms. + I would not for the world be thought + To pick a hole in Ladies Coat; + Because they make it their Delight, + To keep their Bodies trim and tite. + What though the Names be new, and such + As borrow from the French and Dutch? + Or strain'd from the Italian Idiom, + Rather from hence I take the Freedom, + To praise their Care, thus to enrich + And fructifie our barren Speech, + We owe to their Vocabulary, + That makes our Language full and airy, + Enlarging _Meige_'s Dictionary. + Where things want Names, Names must be had: + Shall Lady cry to Chamber-maid, + Bring me my Thing there, for my head; + My Thing there, quilted white and red; + My Thing there for my Wrists and Neck; + 'Tis ten to One the Maids mistake; + Then Lady cries, The Devil take + Such cursed Sots; my tother Thing; + Then 'stead of Shoes, the Cuffs they bring. + 'Slife--Lady crys, if I rise up, + I'll send thee to the Devil to sup; + And thus, like _Babel_, in conclusion, + The Lady's Closet's all Confusion; + When as if Ladies name the Things, + The Maid, whate'er she bid her, brings; + Neither is Lady chaf'd with Anger, + Nor Bones of Maiden put in danger. + Sure then 'twas some ill-natur'd _Beau_, + To persecute the Ladies so; + For peopling, of their own accords, + _Phillip's English World of Words_: + A _Beau_ more cruel than the _Goths_, + Thus to deny the Women Cloaths: + As if to theirs the rich Additions + Were Heathen Rites, and Superstitions; + Or else, as if from _Picts_ descended, + He were with Women's Cloaths offended; + And spite of cold, or heat of air, + He lov'd to see Dame Nature bare. + Their Shoes and Stays, he says, are tawdry, + Not fit to wear 'cause of th' Embroidry. + For Petticoats he'd have e'm bare-breech'd, + From _India_ 'cause the Stuffs are far-fetch'd. + Their Points and Lace he damns to Hell; + Corruptions of the Common-Weal. + The vain Exceptions of Wiseacres, + Fit to goe herd among the Quakers; + And talk to _Maudlin_, in close Hood, + Things that themselves ne'er understood. + Now let us then the _Beau_ survey, + Has he no Baubles to display: + There's first the _Dango_, and the _Snake_, + Those _Dildoes_ in the Nape of Neck; + That dangle down behind, to shew + Dimensions of the _Snake_ below: + 'Tis thick, and long; but pizzl'd at th' end, + And would be thought the Woman's Friend: + Yet they who many times have try'd, + By _Dango_ swear the _Snake_ bely'd. + Then th' insignificant _Knee-Rowl_, + A mere _Whim-wham_, upon my Soul; + For that 'twas never made, I fear, + To save the Master's Knees at Prayer: + Which being worn o'th' largest size, + That Man _Rolls_ full, the Bully cries. + A Term of Art for Knees Concinnity, + Beyond the Sense of School-Divinity. + What _Beau_ himself would so unman, + To ride in scandalous Sedan? + A Carriage only fit for Midwives, + That of their Burthens go to rid Wives; + Unless to hide, from Revelation, + Th' Adulterer's haste to Assignation. + What Dunces are our Tonsors grown, + Where's their Gold Filings in an Amber Box, + To strew upon their Masters Locks, + And make 'em glitter in the Sun? + Sure English _Beaus_ may out-vie _Venus_, + As well as _Commodus_, or _Gallienus_. + 'Twas Goldilocks, my lovely Boy, + Made _Agamemnon_ ruine _Troy_. + I could produce ye Emperours + That sate in Womens Dress whole hours, + Expos'd upon the publick Stage + Their Catamites, Wives by Marr'age. + Your old Trunk-hose are laid aside, + For what-d'-ye-call-em's Tail to hide; + So strait and close upon the Skin, + As onely made for Lady's Eyne; + To see the shape of Thighs and Groin: + Hard case _Priapus_ should be so restrain'd, + That had whole Orchards at command. + Yet these are Toys, in Men, more wise, + To Womens innocent Vanities. + While soft Sir _Courtly Nice_ looks great, + With the unmortgag'd Rents of his Estate: + What is the Learning he adores, + But the Discourse of Pimps and Whores? + She who can tye, with quaintest Art, + The spruce Cravat-string, wins his Heart; + Where that same Toy does not exactly sit, + He's not for common Conversation fit. + How is the Barber held Divine, + That can a Perriwig _Carine_! + Or else _Correct_ it; which you please; + For these are _Terms_ too, now-a-days, + Of modern Gallants to entice + The Barber to advance his Price: + For if a Barber be not dear, + He must not cover Coxcomb's Ear. + Bless us! what's there? 'tis something walks, + A piece of Painting, and yet speaks: + Hard Case to blame the Ladies Washes, + When Men are come to mend their Faces. + Yet some there are such Women grown, + They cann't be by their Faces known: + Some wou'd be like the fair _Adonis_; + Some would be _Hyacinthus_ Cronies; + And then they study wanton use + Of Spanish Red, and white Ceruse; + The only Painters to the Life, + That seem with Natures self at strife; + As if she only the dead Colours laid, + But they the Picture perfect made. + What _Zeuxis_ dare provoke these Elves, + That to out-doe him paint themselves? + For tho' the Birds his painted Grapes did crave, + These paint and all Mankind deceive. + This sure must spend a World of Morning, + More than the Ladies quick adorning; + They have found out a shorter way, + Not as before, to wast the day; + They only comb, wash hands and face, + And streightway, with a comely Grace, + On the admired _Helmet_ goes, + As ready rigg'd as their lac'd Shoes. + Far much more time Men trifling wast, + E'er their soft Bodies can be drest; + The Looking-Glass hangs just before, + And each o'th' Legs requires an hour: + Now thereby, Ladies, hangs a Tale, + A Story for your Cakes and Ale. + A certain _Beau_ was lately dressing, + But sure, e'er he had crav'd Heavens Blessing; + When in comes Friend, and finds him laid + In mournfull plight, upon his Bed. + Dear _Tom_, quoth he, such a Mischance + As ne'er befell the Foes of _France_; + Nay, I must tell thee, _Fleury_ Battel + Was ne'er to _Europe_ half so fatal; + For by I know not what ill luck, + My Glass this Morn fell down and broke + Upon my Shin, just in my Rolling; + Now is not this worth thy condoling? + See Stocking cut, and bloody Shin, + Besides the Charge of healing Skin. + 'Twas the only Kindness of my Fate, + It mist the solid Piece, my Pate. + Ladies, this was ill luck, but you + Have much the worser of the two; + The World is chang'd I know not how, + For Men kiss Men, not Women now; + And your neglected Lips in vain, + Of smugling _Jack_, and _Tom_ complain: + A most unmanly nasty Trick; + One Man to lick the other's Cheek; + And only what renews the shame + Of _J._ the first, and _Buckingham_: + He, true it is, his Wives Embraces fled + To slabber his lov'd _Ganimede_; + But to employ, those Lips were made + For Women in _Gomorrha_'s Trade; + Bespeaks the Reason ill design'd, + Of railing thus 'gainst Woman-kind: + For who that loves as Nature teaches, + That had not rather kiss the Breeches + Of Twenty Women, than to lick + The Bristles of one Male dear _Dick_? + Now wait on _Beau_ to his _Alsatia_, + A Place that loves no _Dei Gratia_; + Where the Undoers live, and Undone, + In _London_, separate from _London_; + Where go but Three Yards from the street, + And you with a new Language meet: + _Prig_, _Prigster_, _Bubble_, _Caravan_, + _Pure Tackle_, _Buttock_, _Purest pure_. + _Sealers_, _Putts_, _Equipp_, and _Bolter_; + _Lug out_, _Scamper_, _rub_ and _scowre_. + _Ready_, _Rhino_, _Coal_, and _Darby_, + _Meggs_, and _Smelts_, and _Hoggs_, and _Decus_; + _Tathers_, _Fambles_, _Tatts_ and _Doctors_, + _Bowsy_, _Smoaky_, _Progg_, and _Cleare_, + _Bolter_, _Banter_, _Cut a shamm_; + With more a great deal of the same. + Should _Saffold_ make but half this Rattle, + When Maidens visit his O-racle, + They'd take him for some Son of _Cham_, + Calling up Legion by his Name, + Add but to this the Flanty-Tant + Of Fopling Al-a-mode Gallant; + Why should not _Gris_, or _Jardine_, + Be as well allow'd as _Bien gaunte_; + _Cloaths_ is a paltry Word _Ma foy_; + But Grandeur in the French _Arroy_. + _Trimming_'s damn'd English, but _le Grass_ + Is that which must for Modish pass. + To call a Shoe a Shoe, is base, + Let the genteel _Picards_ take Place. + Hang _Perriwig_, 'tis only fit + For Barbers Tongues that ne'er spoke Wit; + But if you'd be i'th' Fashion, choose + The far politer Term, _Chedreux_ + What Clown is he that proudly moves, + With on his hands what we call Gloves? + No Friend, for more refin'd converse + Will tell ye they are _Orangers_. + So strangely does _Parisian_ Air + Change English Youth, that half a year + Makes 'em forget all Native Custome, + To bring French Modes, and _Gallic_ Lust home; + Nothing will these Apostates please, + But _Gallic_ Health, and French Disease. + In French their Quarrels, and their Fears, + Their Joys they publish, and their Cares; + In French they quarrel, and in French + _Mon coeur,_ they cry, to paltry Wench. + Why then should these Extravagants + Make such Rhime-doggeril Complaints + Against the Ladies Dressing-Rooms, + And closets stor'd with rich Perfumes? + There's nothing there but what becomes + The Plenty of a fair Estate: + Tho' Chimney Furniture of Plate, + Tho' Mortlake Tapestry, Damask-Bed; + Or Velvet all Embroidered; + Tho' they affect a handsome store, + Of part for State, of usefull more; + They're Glories not to be deny'd + To Women, stopping there their Pride; + For such a Pride has nothing ill, + But only makes them more genteel. + Should Nature these fine Toys produce, + And Women be debarr'd the use? + These are no Masculine Delights; + Studies of Books for Men are sights; + A Stable with good Horses stor'd, + And Payment punctual to their Word: + Proportion these things to my Wishes, + Let Women take the Porcelan Dishes; + The Toylet Plates gilt and embost, + With all the rest of little cost; + Such small Diffusion feeds the Poor, + While Misers hoard up all their store. + Our Satyr then was one of those + Who ne'er had Wealth at his dispose; + Or being sped to live in Plenty, + Posted to find his Coffers empty; + Addicted all to sport and Gaming, + And that same Vice not worth the naming; + Till deeply dipp'd in Us'rers Books, + And over-rid by Cheats and Rooks, + The _Mint_ becomes his Sanctuary, + Where not of his past Errors weary, + But aged grown, and impotent, + Alike in Purse and Codpiece spent, + He _Cynic_ turns, in _Kings-Bench_ Tub, + And vents the Froth of Brewers Bub: + Where we will leave him melancholly, + Bewailing Poverty, and Folly. + + + + + A Short _Supplement_ to the _Fop-Dictionary_, + so far as concerns the present Matter. + + + + _Adieu donce me Cheres._ + Farewell my dear Friends. + + _Arroy._ + A Suit of Cloaths. + + _To adjust a Man's self._ + That is, to dress himself. + + _Beau._ + A Masculine French Adjective, signifying fine but now naturaliz'd + into _English_ to denote a sparkish dressing Fop. + + _Beaux Esprits._ + A Club of Wits, who call'd themselves so. + + _Bachique._ + A Drinking Song or Catch. + + _The Brilliant_ of Language. + Sharpness and wittiness of Expression. + + _A Brandenburgh._ + A Morning Gown. + + _To Carine a Perriwig._ + That is, to order it. + + _Chedreux._ + A Perriwig. + + _Correct._ + The same as Carine. + + _Deshabille._ + Undrest, or rather in a careless Dress. + + _En Cavalier._ + Like a Gentleman. + + _Esclat._ + Of Beauty, or the Lustre of Beauty. + + _Eveille._ + I observ'd her more _Eveille_ than other Women; + that is, more sprightly and airey. + + _Equipt._ + That is, well furnish'd with Money and Cloaths. + + _Gaunte Bien Gaunte._ + Modish in his Gloves. + + _Grossier._ + The World is very _Grossier_; that is, very dull, and + ill bred. + + _Levee and Couchee._ + Is to attend a Gentleman at his rising or going to + Bed. + + _Le Grass._ + The furniture of a Suit. + + _Orangers._ + The Term for Gloves scented with Oranges. + + _Picards._ + Shoes in downright English. + + _Pulvillio._ + Sweet Powder for the Hair. + + _Rolls._ + A sort of Dress for the Knees, invented as some say by the Roman + Catholicks, for the conveniency of Kneeling, but others ascribe the + lucky Fancy to Coll. S----. + + _A Revoir._ + Till I see you again. + + _Surtout._ + The great Coat which covers all. + + For the rest you are referr'd to the Dilucidations + of the _Alsatian_ Squire. + + + FINIS. + + + + +Transcriber's notes: + +Other editions of Ovid's 'de Arte Amandi' quoted on the title page use +the words 'terrae' for 'terra' and 'litore' for 'littore.' Those words are +presented here as printed. Spelling was not changed, except for 'thtng' +to 'thing' ... it is no new thing for Ladies ... + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Mundus Foppensis, by John Evelyn + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MUNDUS FOPPENSIS *** + +***** This file should be named 36841.txt or 36841.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/8/4/36841/ + +Produced by Colin Bell, Joseph Cooper, Carol Ann Brown, +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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