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diff --git a/36821.txt b/36821.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..30391ce --- /dev/null +++ b/36821.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2460 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Maxims and Hints on Angling, Chess, +Shooting, and Other Matters, by Richard Penn + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Maxims and Hints on Angling, Chess, Shooting, and Other Matters + also, Miseries of Fishing + +Author: Richard Penn + +Release Date: July 23, 2011 [EBook #36821] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAXIMS AND HINTS ON ANGLING *** + + + + +Produced by Mark C. Orton, Emmy and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + + + +MAXIMS AND HINTS + +ON + +ANGLING, CHESS, SHOOTING, + +AND + +OTHER MATTERS; + +ALSO, + +MISERIES OF FISHING. + +With Wood-Cuts. + +BY RICHARD PENN, Esq., F.R.S. + + +_A NEW EDITION, ENLARGED._ + + + LONDON: + JOHN MURRAY, ALBEMARLE STREET. + + MDCCCXLII. + + + + + LONDON: + Printed by WILLIAM CLOWES and SONS, + Stamford Street. + + + + +CONTENTS + + + Maxims and Hints for an Angler 1 + Miseries of Fishing 25 + Maxims and Hints for a Chess Player 55 + Maxims and Hints on Shooting and Other Matters 81 + + + + +THE FOLLOWING EXTRACTS + +FROM THE + +Common-Place-Book + +OF THE + +HOUGHTON FISHING CLUB + +ARE RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED + +TO HIS + +BROTHER ANGLERS + +BY A + +MEMBER OF THE CLUB. + + LONDON, + _March, 1833._ + + + + +MAXIMS AND HINTS + +FOR + +AN ANGLER. + + "You see the ways the fisherman doth take + "To catch the fish; what engines doth he make? + "Behold! how he engageth all his wits, + "Also his snares, lines, angles, hooks, and nets: + "Yet fish there be, that neither hook nor line, + "Nor snare, nor net, nor engine can make thine; + "They must be groped for, and be tickled too, + "Or they will not be catch'd, whate'er you do." + JOHN BUNYAN + + + + +MAXIMS AND HINTS + +FOR + +AN ANGLER: + +BY + +A BUNGLER. + +[Loosely thrown out, in order to provoke contradiction, and elicit truth +from the expert.] + + +I. + +ARE there any fish in the river to which you are going? + + +II. + +Having settled the above question in the affirmative, get some person +who knows the water to show you whereabout the fish usually lie; and +when he shows them to you, do not show yourself to them. + + +III. + +Comparatively coarse fishing will succeed better when you are not seen +by the fish, than the finest when they see you. + + +IV. + +Do not imagine that, because a fish does not instantly dart off on first +seeing you, he is the less aware of your presence; he almost always on +such occasions ceases to feed, and pays you the compliment of devoting +his whole attention to you, whilst he is preparing for a start whenever +the apprehended danger becomes sufficiently imminent. + + +V. + +By wading when the sun does not shine, you may walk in the river within +eighteen or twenty yards below a fish, which would be immediately driven +away by your walking on the bank on either side, though at a greater +distance from him. + + +VI. + +When you are fishing with the natural May-fly, it is as well to wait for +a passing cloud, as to drive away the fish by putting your fly to him in +the glare of the sunshine, when he will not take it. + + +VII. + +If you pass your fly neatly and well three times over a trout, and he +refuses it, do not wait any longer for him: you may be sure that he has +seen the line of invitation which you have sent over the water to him, +and does not intend to come. + + +VIII. + +If your line be nearly _taut_, as it ought to be, with little or no gut +in the water, a good fish will always hook himself, on your gently +raising the top of the rod when he has taken the fly. + +[Illustration: "Whence he is to be instantly whipt out by an expert +assistant, furnished," &c. + +To face page 6.] + + +IX. + +If you are above a fish in the stream when you hook him, get below him +as soon as you can; and remember that if you pull him, but for an +instant, against the stream, he will, if a heavy fish, break his hold; +or if he should be firmly hooked, you will probably find that the united +strength of the stream and fish is too much for your skill and tackle. + + +X. + +I do not think that a fish has much power of stopping himself if, +immediately on being hooked, he is moved slowly with the current, under +the attractive influence of your rod and line. He will soon find that a +forced march of this sort is very fatiguing, and he may then be brought, +by a well-regulated exercise of gentle violence, to the bank, from +whence he is to be instantly whipt out by an expert assistant, furnished +with a landing-net, the ring of which ought not to be of a less +diameter than eighteen inches, the handle of it being seven feet long. + + +XI. + +If, after hooking a trout, you allow him to remain stationary but for a +moment, he will have time to put his helm hard a-port or a-starboard, +and to offer some resistance. Strong tackle now becomes useful. + + +XII. + +Bear always in mind that no tackle is strong enough, unless well +handled. A good fisherman will easily kill a trout of three pounds with +a rod and a line which are not strong enough to lift a dead weight of +one pound from the floor, and place it on the table. + + +XIII. + +Remember that, in whipping with the artificial fly, it must have time, +when you have drawn it out of the water, to make the whole circuit, and +to be at one time straight behind you, before it can be driven out +straight before you. If you give it the forward impulse too soon, you +will hear a crack. Take this as a hint that your fly is gone to grass. + + +XIV. + +Never throw with a long line when a short one will answer your purpose. +The most difficult fish to hook is one which is rising at three-fourths +of the utmost distance to which you can throw. Even when you are at the +extent of your distance, you have a better chance; because in this case, +when you do reach him, your line will be straight, and, when you do not, +the intermediate failures will not alarm him. + + +XV. + +It appears to me that, in whipping with an artificial fly, there are +only two cases in which a fish taking the fly will infallibly hook +himself without your assistance, viz. + +1. When your fly first touches the water at the end of a straight line. + +2. When you are drawing out your fly for a new throw. + +In all other cases it is necessary that, in order to hook him when he +has taken the fly, you should do something with your wrist which it is +not easy to describe. + + +XVI. + +If your line should fall loose and wavy into the water, it will either +frighten away the fish, or he will take the fly into his mouth without +fastening himself; and when he finds that it does not answer his +purpose, he will spit it out again, before it has answered yours. + + +XVII. + +Although the question of fishing up or down the stream is usually +settled by the direction of the wind, you may sometimes have the +option; and it is, therefore, as well to say a word or two on both +sides. + +1. If, when you are fishing down-stream, you take a step or two with +each successive throw, your fly is always travelling over new water, +which cannot have been disturbed by the passing of your line. + + +2. When you are fishing up-stream, you may lose the advantage of raising +so many fish; but, on the other hand, you will have a better chance of +hooking those which rise at your fly, because the darting forward of a +fish seizing it has a tendency to tighten your line, and produce the +desired effect. + + +3. If you are in the habit of sometimes catching a fish, there is +another great advantage in fishing up-stream, viz. whilst you are +playing and leading (necessarily down-stream) the fish which you have +hooked, you do not alarm the others which are above you, waiting till +their turn comes. + + +XVIII. + +The learned are much divided in opinion as to the propriety of whipping +with two flies or with one. I am humbly of opinion that your chance of +hooking fish is much increased by your using two flies; but I think +that, by using only one, you increase your chance of landing the fish. + + +XIX. + +When you are using two flies, you can easily find the bob-fly on the top +of the water, and thus be sure that the end-fly is not far off. When you +are using only one fly, you cannot so easily see where the fly is; but I +think that you can make a better guess as to where the fish is likely to +be after you have hooked him. + + +XX. + +Also, when you are using two flies, you may sometimes catch a fish with +one of them, and a weed growing in the river with the other. When such a +_liaison_ is once formed, you will find it difficult, with all your +attractions, to overcome the strong attachment of the fish to your +worthless rival the weed. + + +XXI. + +If the weed will not give way in the awkward juncture above alluded to, +you must proceed to extremities. "Then comes the tug of war;" and your +line is quite as likely to break between you and the fish, as between +the fish and the weed. + + +XXII. + +When, during the season of the May-fly, your friends, the gentlemen from +London, say that they "have scarcely seen a fish rise all day," do not +too hastily conclude that the fish have not been feeding on the fly. + +[Illustration: "You will find it difficult, with all your attractions, +to overcome the strong attachment," &c. + +To face page 12.] + + +XXIII. + +The only "rising" which is seen by the unlearned is the splash which is +made by a fish when he darts from a considerable depth in the water to +catch an occasional fly on the surface. There is, however, another sort +of "rising," which is better worth the skilful angler's attention, viz. + + +XXIV. + +When a fish is seriously feeding on the fly, he stations himself at no +greater depth than his own length, and, making his tail the hinge of his +motions, he gently raises his mouth to the top of the water, and quietly +sucks in the fly attempting to pass over him. A rising of this sort is +not easily seen, but it is worth looking for; because, although a fish +feeding in this manner will rarely go many inches on either side for a +fly, he will as rarely refuse to take one which comes (without any gut +in the water) directly to him. + + +XXV. + +If your fly (gut unfortunately included) should swim over a fish without +his taking it, look out well for a darting line of undulation, which +betokens his immediate departure; and remember, that it is of no use to +continue fishing for him after he is gone. + + +XXVI. + +The stations chosen by fish for feeding are those which are likely to +afford them good sport in catching flies, viz. + +1. The mouths of ditches running into the river. + +2. The confluence of two branches of a stream, which has been divided by +a patch of weeds. + +3. That part of a stream which has been narrowed by two such patches. + +4. Fish are also to be found under the bank opposite to the wind, where +they are waiting for the flies which are blown against that bank, and +fall into the river. + + +XXVII. + +If, during your walks by the river-side, you have marked any good fish, +it is fair to presume that other persons have marked them also. Suppose +the case of two well-known fish, one of them (which I will call A.) +lying above a certain bridge, the other (which I will call B.) lying +below the bridge. Suppose further that you have just caught B., and that +some curious and cunning friend should say to you in a careless way, +"Where did you take that fine fish?" a finished fisherman would advise +you to tell your inquiring friend that you had taken your fish just +_above_ the bridge, describing, as the scene of action, the spot which, +in truth, you know to be still occupied by the other fish, A. Your +friend would then fish no more for A., supposing that to be the fish +which you have caught; and whilst he innocently resumes his operations +below the bridge, where he falsely imagines B. still to be, A. is left +quietly for you, if you can catch him. + + +XXVIII. + +When you see a large fish rising so greedily in the middle of a sharp +stream, that you feel almost sure of his instantly taking your May-fly, +I would advise you to make an accurate survey of all obstructions in the +immediate neighbourhood of your feet--of any ditch which may be close +behind you--or of any narrow plank, amidst high rushes, which you may +shortly have to walk over in a hurry. If you should hook the fish, a +knowledge of these interesting localities will be very useful to you. + + +XXIX. + +When your water-proof boots are wet through, make a hole or two near the +bottom of them, in order that the water, which runs in whilst you are +walking in the river, may run freely out again whilst you are walking +on the bank. You will thus avoid an accompaniment of pumping-music, +which is not agreeable. + + +XXX. + +Never mind what they of the old school say about "playing him till he is +tired." Much valuable time and many a good fish may be lost by this +antiquated proceeding. Put him into your basket _as soon as you can_. +Everything depends on the manner in which you commence your acquaintance +with him. If you can at first prevail upon him to go a little way down +the stream with you, you will have no difficulty afterwards in +persuading him to let you have the pleasure of seeing him at dinner. + + +XXXI. + +Do not be afraid of filling your pockets too full when you go out; you +are more likely to leave something behind you than to take too much. A +man who seldom catches a fish at any other time, usually gets hold of +one (and loses him of course) whilst his attendant is gone back for +something which had been forgotten. + + +XXXII. + +If your attendant is a handy fellow at landing a fish, let him do it in +his own way: if he is not, try to find a better man, or go home. +Although so much depends upon his skill, you will rarely derive much +comfort from asking him for his opinion. If you have had bad sport, and +say to him, "Which way shall we go now?" he will most probably say, +"Where you please, sir." If you ask him what he thinks of the weather, +he is very likely to say that last week (_when you were in London_) it +was "famous weather for fishing;" or he will perhaps say, that he +expects that next week (_when you are to be at home again_) it will be +very good. I never knew one of these men who was satisfied with the +present hour. + + +XXXIII. + +Do not leave off fishing early in the evening because your friends are +tired. After a bright day, the largest fish are to be caught by whipping +between sunset and dark. Even, however, in these precious moments, you +will not have good sport if you continue throwing after you have whipped +your fly off. Pay attention to this; and if you have any doubt after +dusk, you may easily ascertain the point, by drawing the end of the line +quickly through your hand,--particularly if you do not wear gloves. + + +XXXIV. + +No attempt is here made to give directions as to the best seasons for +cutting the woods which are fittest for the making of rods, or as to the +mode of preparing them; because the worst rod which is kept for sale at +the present day is probably as good as the best of the first few dozen +which any amateur is likely to make for himself. + + +XXXV. + +Lastly--When you have got hold of a good fish, which is not very +tractable, if you are married, gentle reader, think of your wife, who, +like the fish, is united to you by very tender ties, which can only end +with her death, or her going into weeds. If you are single, the loss of +the fish, when you thought the prize your own, may remind you of some +more serious disappointment. + + R. P. + + _Rod Cottage, River Side, + 31st May, 1829._ + +[Illustration] + + + + +POSTSCRIPT. + + +I FORGOT to say, that, if a friend should invite you to his house, +saying that he will give you "an excellent day's fishing," you ought not +to doubt his kind intention, but you certainly ought not to feel very +sure that you will have good sport. Provide yourself for such a visit +with everything which you may want, as if you were going into an +uninhabited country. Above all things, take a landing-net with you. Your +friend's (if he has one) is probably torn and without a handle, being a +sort of reticulated shovel for taking fish out of the well of a punt. +Take warning from the following story:-- + +Mr. Jackson and Mr. Thompson went last week to the house of Mr. Jenkins, +for a few days' fishing. They were received with the utmost kindness +and hospitality by Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, and on the following morning +after breakfast, the gardener (who was on that day called the fisherman) +was desired to attend them to the river. Thompson, who had a landing-net +of his own, begged to have a boy to carry it. Jack was immediately sent +for, and he appeared in _top_ boots, with a livery hat and waistcoat. + +Arrived at the water-side, Thompson gave his gnat-basket to the boy, and +told him to go on the other side of the river, and look on the grass for +a few May-flies. Jack said that he did not exactly know what May-flies +were, and that the river could not be crossed without going over a +bridge a mile off. Thompson is a patient man, so he began to fish with +his landing-net for a few May-flies, and after he had necessarily +frightened away many fish, he succeeded in catching six or seven +May-flies. + +[Illustration: The boy exclaiming, "Damn 'un, I miss'd 'un," instantly +threw a second brick-bat. + +To face page 23.] + +Working one of them with the blowing-line much to his own +satisfaction, and thinking to extract a compliment from his attendant, +he said, "They do not often fish here in this way--do they?" "No," said +the boy, "they drags wi' a net; they did zo the day afore yesterday." + +Our angler, after much patient fishing, hooked a fine trout; and having +brought him carefully to the bank, he said, "Now, my lad, don't be in a +hurry, but get him out as soon as you can." Jack ran to the water's +edge, threw down the net, and seizing the line with both hands, of +course broke it immediately. + +Nothing daunted, Thompson now mended his tackle and went on fishing; and +when he thought, "good easy man," that the very moment for hooking +another trout was arrived, there was a great splash just above his +fly;--and the boy exclaiming, "Damn un, I miss'd un," instantly threw a +second brick-bat at a rat which was crossing the river. + +Mine host, in order to accommodate his friends, dined early; and when +they went after dinner to enjoy the evening fishing, they found that the +miller had turned off the water, and that the river was nearly dry,--so +they went back to tea. + + R. P. + +[Illustration: _F. R. Lee, Esq., R.A._] + + + + +MISERIES OF FISHING. + + +"_Quaeque ipse miserrima vidi._" + + + + +MISERIES OF FISHING. + + +I. + +MAKING a great improvement in a receipt which a friend had given you for +staining gut--and finding that you have produced exactly the colour +which you wanted, but that the dye has made all your bottoms quite +rotten. + + +II. + +Suddenly putting up your hand to save your hat in a high wind, and +grasping a number of artificial flies, which you had pinned round it, +without any intention of taking hold of more than one at a time. + + +III. + +Leading a large fish down-stream and arriving at a ditch, the width of +which is evident, although the depth of it may be a matter of some +doubt. Having thus to decide very quickly whether you will lose the fish +and half your tackle, or run the risk of going up to your neck in mud. +Perhaps both. + + +IV. + +Feeling rather unsteady whilst you are walking on a windy day over an +old foot-bridge, and having occasion to regret the decayed state of the +hand-rail, which once protected the passing fisherman. + + +V. + +Fishing for the first time with flies of your own making--and finding +that they are quite as good as any which you can buy, except that the +hooks are not so firmly tied to the gut. + + +VI. + +Taking out with you as your aide-de-camp an unsophisticated lad from the +neighbouring village, who laughs at you when you miss hooking a fish +rising at a fly, and says with a grin. "You can't vasten 'em as my +vather does." + +[Illustration: "And having occasion to regret the decayed state of the +hand-rail," &c. + +To face page 28.] + + +VII. + +Making the very throw which you feel sure will at last enable you to +reach a fish that is rising at some distance--and seeing the upper half +of your rod go into the middle of the river. When you have towed it +ashore, finding that it has broken off close to the ferule, which is +immoveably fixed in the lower half of your rod. + + +VIII. + +Feeling the first cold drop giving notice to your great toe that in less +than two minutes your boot will be full of water. + + +IX. + +Going out on a morning so fine that no man would think of taking his +water-proof cloak with him--and then, before catching any fish, being +thoroughly wet through by an unexpected shower. + + +X. + +When you cannot catch any fish--being told by your attendant of the +excellent sport which your predecessor had on the same spot, only a few +days before. + + +XI. + +Having brought with you from town a large assortment of expensive +artificial flies--and being told on showing them to an experienced +native, that "They are certainly very beautiful, but that none of them +are of any use here." + + +XII. + +After trying in vain to reach a trout which is rising on the opposite +side of the river--at last walking on; and before you have gone 100 +yards, looking back, and seeing a more skilful friend catch him at the +first throw.--Weight 3 lbs. 2 oz. + +[Illustration: "Looking back, and seeing a more skilful friend catch him +at the first throw." + +To face page 30.] + + +XIII. + +Having stupidly trodden on the top of your rod--and then finding that +the spare top, which you have brought out with you in the butt, belongs +to the rod which you have left at home, and will not fit that which you +are using. + + +XIV. + +Having steered safely through some very dangerous weeds a fish which you +consider to weigh at least 3 lbs., and having brought him safely to the +very edge of the bank,--then seeing him, when he is all but in the +landing-net, make a plunge, which in a moment renders all your previous +skill of no avail, and puts it out of your power to verify the accuracy +of your calculations as to his weight. + + +XV. + +Fishing with the blowing-line when the wind is so light that your fly is +seldom more than two yards from you, or when the wind is so strong that +it always carries your fly up into the air, before it comes to the spot +which you wish it to swim over. + + +XVI. + +Wishing to show off before a young friend whom you have been learnedly +instructing in the mysteries of the art, and finding that you cannot +catch any fish yourself, whilst he (an inexperienced hand) hooks and +lands (by mere accident of course) a very large one. + + +XVII. + +Attempting to walk across the river in a new place without knowing +exactly whereabouts certain holes, which you have heard of, are. Probing +the bottom in front of you with the handle of your landing-net,--and +finding it very soft. + +[Illustration: "Probing the bottom in front of you with the handle of +your landing-net." + +To face page 32.] + + +XVIII. + +Going some distance for three days' fishing, on the two first of which +there is bright sunshine and no wind, and then finding that the third, +which opens with "a southerly wind and a cloudy sky," is the day which a +neighbouring farmer has fixed upon for washing two hundred sheep on the +shallow where you expected to have the best sport. + + +XIX. + +Being allowed to have one day's fishing in a stream, the windings of +which are so many, that it would require half a dozen different winds to +enable you to fish the greater part of it, from the only side to which +your leave extends. + + +XX. + +Finding, on taking your book out of your pocket, that the fly at the end +of your line is not the only one by many dozen which you have had in +the water, whilst you have been wading rather too deep. + + +XXI. + +Wading half an inch deeper than the tops of your boots, and finding +afterwards that you must carry about with you four or five quarts in +each, or must sit down on the wet grass whilst your attendant pulls them +off, in order that you may empty them, and try to pull them on again. + + +XXII. + +Jumping out of bed very early every morning, during the season of the +May-fly, to look at a weathercock opposite to your window, and always +finding the wind either in the north or east. + +[Illustration: "You must sit down on the wet grass whilst your attendant +pulls them off, in order," &c. + +To face page 34.] + + +XXIII. + +Having just hooked a heavy fish, when you are using the blowing-line, +and seeing the silk break about two feet above your hand; then +watching the broken end as it travels quickly through each successive +ring, till it finally leaves the top of your rod, and follows the fish +to the bottom of the river. + + +XXIV. + +Receiving a very elegant new rod from London, and being told by one of +the most skilful of your brother anglers, that it is so stiff,--and by +another, that it is so pliant, that it is not possible for any man to +throw a fly properly with it. + + +XXV. + +Being obliged to listen to a long story about the difficulties which one +of your friends had to encounter in landing a very fine trout which has +just been placed on the table for dinner, when you have no story of the +same sort to tell in return. + + +XXVI. + +Hooking a large trout, and then turning the handle of your reel the +wrong way; thus producing an effect diametrically opposite to that of +shortening your line, and making the fish more unmanageable than before. + + +XXVII. + +Arriving just before sunset at a shallow, where the fish are rising +beautifully, and finding that they are all about to be immediately +driven away by five-and-twenty cows, which are preparing to walk very +leisurely across the river in open files. + + +XXVIII. + +Coming to an ugly ditch in your way across a water-meadow late in the +day, when you are too tired to jump, and being obliged to walk half a +mile in search of a place where you think you can step over it. + +[Illustration: "Finding that they are all about to be immediately driven +away by five-and-twenty cows." + +To face page 36.] + + +XXIX. + +Flattering yourself that you had brought home the largest fish of the +day, and then finding that two of your party have each of them caught a +trout more than half a pound heavier than yours. + + +XXX. + +Finding yourself reduced to the necessity of talking about the beautiful +form and colour of some trout, which you have caught, being well aware +that in the important particular of _weight_, they are much inferior to +several of those taken on the same day by one of your companions. + + +XXXI. + +Telling a long story after dinner, tending to show (with full +particulars of time and place) how that, under very difficult +circumstances, and notwithstanding very great skill on your part, your +tackle had been that morning broken and carried away by a very large +fish; and then having the identical fly, lost by you on that occasion, +returned to you by one of your party, who found it in the mouth of a +trout, caught by him, about an hour after your disaster, on the very +spot so accurately described by you--the said very large fish being, +after all, a very small one. + + +XXXII. + +Arriving at a friend's house in the country, one very cold evening in +March, and being told by his keeper that there are a great many large +pike in the water, and that you are sure of having good sport on the +following day; and then looking out of your bed-room window the next +morning, and seeing two unhappy swans dancing an awkward sort of minuet +on the ice, the surface of the lake having been completely frozen during +the night. + + R. P. + + LONDON, + _March, 1833._ + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: _F. R. Lee, Esq., R.A._] + + + + +MORE MISERIES. + +(Continuation of Story from page 24.) + + +ON a subsequent occasion our honest anglers repeated their visit to Mr. +Jenkins, who, with the view of making himself more agreeable to his +guests, had, in the meantime, agreed to pay an annual rent to the +miller, for the exclusive right of fishing in some water belonging to +the mill, which was said to contain the largest fish in the river. + +Now, this miller had a son, who, whilst he followed his father's daily +occupation of preparing matter for the _loaves_, sometimes thought of +the _fishes_ too; and he was better known in the neighbourhood for his +great skill in fishing, than for any unusual acquaintance with the +mysteries of grinding. He had frequently used much argument and entreaty +to dissuade his father from letting the fishery; but the prudent old +miller thought that L15 per annum, to be paid by Mr. Jenkins, would be +more profitable to him, than any pleasure which his son might derive +from catching many fine brace of trout during the season. + +[Illustration: "He now sallied forth, not 'equal to both,' but 'armed +for either field.'" + +To face page 43.] + +Such was the state of affairs in this part of the world, when Mr. +Jackson and Mr. Thompson arrived early one morning, by special +invitation, to make a first trial of their skill in the new water. The +usual conversation about the state of the weather was quickly despatched +at breakfast. The wind was, for once, pronounced to be in the right +quarter. It was unanimously agreed that there could not well be a more +favourable day for fishing, and that, therefore, the gentlemen ought to +lose no time in going down to the river. Our old friend, Thompson, who, +as we have already seen, was not always very successful with a fly, had +lately, in order that he might have two strings to his bow[A], been +learning another branch of the gentle art, called "Spinning a minnow;" +and he now sallied forth, not "equal to both," but "armed for either +field," and walked with a confident step to a celebrated spot below the +mill. This new acquirement had been kept a profound secret from Jackson, +who went out, as usual, fly-fishing, and proceeded to a part of the +stream above the mill. + +It was not to be expected that the young miller would work cheerfully at +the mill that morning. He felt that, although he had been cruelly +deprived of the fishery by his father, he surely had a right to _look_ +at the gentlemen if he pleased; he therefore put on his dusty hat and +walked, in a surly mood, to the river side,--taking with him, as the +companion of his sorrows, a ragged little boy, who had often witnessed +his exploits with envy and admiration, and occasionally imitated his +great example in a very humble manner by fishing for gudgeons in the +canal. + +The youth and the boy found Thompson so busily engaged in arranging his +new spinning-tackle, that he did not perceive that they had established +themselves within a few yards of him. There he stood upon the bank, +deeply impressed with the value of some excellent instructions which he +had lately received for his guidance, and fully sensible of the vast +superiority over Jackson which he now possessed. Having at last settled +every preliminary to his entire satisfaction, he was just about to cast +in his minnow for the first time, when the miller attracted Thompson's +notice by that peculiar sort of short cough which is a relief to +suppressed insolence, and acts as a safety-valve to prevent explosion. + +Poor Thompson! He did not feel quite qualified for a performance of the +kind before a critic so well able to judge, and so little disposed to +admire; but he considered that it would be _infra dig._ to appear +disconcerted by the young miller's presence,--so he assumed a look of +defiance, and manfully commenced operations. + +After one or two bad throws, and sundry awkward attempts at improvement, +a fine trout (_mirabile dictu!_) darted from under the bank and seized +his minnow. "Who cares for the miller now?" thought Thompson; but, alas! +the happy thought passed through his mind-- + + "Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be + Ere one can say--It lightens." + +He unfortunately (vide Maxim IX.) held the fish a little too hard +against the stream, and pulled him so very triumphantly, that the +thrilling sensation of tugging pressure on the rod suddenly ceased, and +the hookless end of the broken line flew into the air!! + +At this awful crisis the young miller's cough became very troublesome, +and the boy coolly called out to him-- + +"_I say, Jack!--I'll lay a penny that wouldn't ha' happened if you had +had hold on 'im!!!_" + + * * * * * + +Long before Thompson had recovered from the effects of this sad +disaster, Jenkins came up to him to announce that luncheon was ready. +Overwhelming our poor sufferer with a torrent of well-meant condolence, +he said-- + +"Well, Thompson! + +"What! no sport? + +"That _is_ unlucky! + +"I am very anxious that _you_ should catch a good fish. _Jackson_ has +just caught a brace of very fine ones! + +"This is exactly the spot where I expected that you would have the best +sport! + +[Illustration: "I'll lay a penny that wouldn't ha' happened if _you_ had +hold on 'im!!" + +To face page 46.] + +"The miller tells me that the largest fish lie there[B], near that +broken post under the opposite bank. Pray cast your minnow close to +that, and you will be sure to run a fish almost immediately." + +Jenkins little knew what he was asking. The aforesaid post was at a +formidable distance,--it could only be reached by a most skilful hand. +Thompson felt by no means disposed to attempt it, because, although +Jenkins appeared to think that it would be an easy task for so finished +an angler as Thompson, he himself had no doubt that the odious miller, +who was still looking on, was of a very different opinion. He therefore +thought that it would be wise to leave the question undetermined, and +not to give a _casting_ vote on the occasion. + +And now Thompson, turning his back on the river, walked home arm-in-arm +with his friend Mr. Jenkins, grieving much about the fish which he had +lost, and perhaps a little about those which Jackson had caught. + +The brace of very fine trout, said to have been caught by Mr. Jackson, +were exhibited by him in due form to Mr. Thompson and the ladies, just +before luncheon. Whilst he was pointing out the beautiful condition of +the fish, without at all underrating their weight, Miss Smith, who was +staying on a visit with her sister, Mrs. Jenkins, pleasantly remarked +that Mr. Jackson was very _lucky_ to have caught two such fine fish +whilst Mr. Thompson had not caught any. This led to an interesting +conversation about the caprice of the fickle goddess, so often alluded +to in the lamentations of an unsuccessful angler. Thompson took no part +in the discussion, and he did not refer them to the miller or the little +boy for any other explanation[C] of the cause of his failure; but he +begged that they would allow him to eat his luncheon, without waiting +for the rest of the party, as he was anxious to return as soon as +possible to the river, where he expected to have great sport in the +evening. + +[Illustration: _Geo. Jones, Esq. R.A._ + +"He begged that they would allow him to eat his luncheon without waiting +for the rest of the party." + +To face page 49.] + +After luncheon, our unfortunate hero did not catch any fish, and he +found that he could not throw his minnow within several yards of the +far-famed post, even when he was not annoyed by spectators. He +contrived, however, to get fast hold of another, at a much less distance +from him; in consequence of which, he was obliged to abandon a second +set of his best minnow tackle (price 2_s._ 6_d._) to its fate in the +middle of the river. + +[Illustration: "His ears were assailed by a loud repetition of the cruel +cough." + +To face page 51.] + +At the end of _his day's sport_, Thompson omitted to use the wise +precaution of taking his rod to pieces[D], before leaving the river +side. On his way homewards, in the evening, he met the little boy, who +slily asked him if he had had good sport _since_. This brought to his +recollection the fact of his having to pass through the mill, in order +to cross the river; and the prospect of his being asked a similar +question by the miller was not agreeable. When he arrived at the mill, +all was quiet; and he, therefore, flattered himself that the miller was +comfortably enjoying his pipe at the ale-house.--Thompson was now so +elated at the idea of passing through unobserved, that he quite forgot +the exalted state of his rod, until he was reminded of it by a sudden +jerk which broke off the top, leaving his third and last set of tackle, +with a brilliant artificial minnow, sticking fast in a projecting +rafter[E] above his reach. Hastily shoving the broken joint (Thompson +never swears) into the butt of his rod, he hoped that he should be able +to conceal all knowledge of this last misfortune. He, however, felt very +unwilling that the shining little minnow should remain in its present +position, as a glaring proof of his awkwardness; and it immediately +occurred to him, that a small ladder, which was close at hand, was a +thing exactly suited to the occasion; but at the very moment when he +became convinced, by actual experiment, that it was too short for his +purpose, his ears were assailed by a loud repetition of the cruel cough, +and his eyes were met by a killing glance from those of the miller's +son. + +On the following day, Thompson returned, much out of spirits, to +London. On that day, too, the young miller resumed his duties at the +mill, less out of humour than before. Very shortly after this the old +miller died, and the son then took the fishery into his own hands; and, +however closely he may now resemble his late grandfather (who formerly +lived on the River Dee), in caring for nobody, he never, whilst Thompson +lives, will be able to say "Nobody cares for me." + + * * * * * + +"So ends my Tale:" for I fear that the reader must think that, like +Thompson, he has now had quite enough of "THE MISERIES OF FISHING." I +feel, however, assured that he will forgive me for relating this story, +because, although his attention may be fatigued by the perusal of it, +his eye will be gratified by the beauty of several new illustrations, +which I owe to the kindness of my friends, the distinguished artists, +whose names are printed under their welcome contributions to my little +book. + + R. P. + + _Whitehall, + March, 1839._ + +[Illustration: _Sir Francis Chantrey, R.A._] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[A] It was a long one, when he talked about fishing. + +[B] There the fish did not _lie_, but the miller did. He well knew that, +since the letting of the fishery, his son had taken good care that the +best of them should be gradually removed to Billingsgate by a more +summary process than that of rod and line. + +[C] Neither did Mr. Jackson think it necessary to explain to the ladies, +or even to his friend Thompson, that the very fine fish, about which he +had received so many compliments, had been taken by fixing his +landing-net at the mouth of one of the narrow water-courses, up which +they had worked their way in search of minnows;--a secret method of +ensuring good sport, well known to some few very cunning anglers, whose +motto is + + "Unde habeas quaerit Nemo, sed oportet habere."--JUV. + + +[D] I understand that Thompson has written a long letter, complaining of +my not having given any maxim or hint on this important point. I beg +leave here to apologise for the omission; and I have no hesitation in +advising him, if he should ever put his rod together again, not to omit +taking it to pieces as soon as he has done fishing. + +[E] Piscium et summa genus haesit ulmo.--HOR. + + + + +MAXIMS AND HINTS + +FOR A + +CHESS PLAYER. + +"_Lorsque je veux, sans y faire semblant, me livrer aux meditations +d'une douce philosophie, je vais a la peche. Ma longue experience me +tient en garde contre les inconveniens d'une mauvaise pratique; et je +jouis de mon succes, qu'aucun jaloux ne vient troubler. Ma peche finie, +eh bien! je rentre dans le mouvement de la vie, je fais ma partie +d'echecs; je triomphe, mon sang circule; je suis battu, mais je me +releve._"--TACTIQUE DES RECREATIONS. + + + + +MAXIMS AND HINTS + +FOR A + +CHESS PLAYER. + +[Illustration] + + +I. + +WIN as often as you can, but never make any display of insulting joy on +the occasion. When you cannot win--lose (though you may not like it) +with good temper. + + +II. + +If your adversary, after you have won a game, wishes to prove that you +have done so in consequence of some fault of his rather than by your own +good play, you need not enter into much argument on the subject, whilst +he is explaining to the by-standers the mode by which he might have won +the game, _but did not_. + + +III. + +Nor need you make yourself uneasy if your adversary should console +himself by pointing out a mode by which you might have won the game in a +shorter and more masterly manner. Listen patiently to his +explanation--it cannot prove that your way was not good enough. _Tous +les chemins sont bons qui menent a la victoire._ + + +IV. + +When you are playing with an opponent whom you feel sure that you can +master, do not insult him by saying that you consider him a stronger +player than yourself,--but that perhaps particular circumstances may +prevent him from playing with his usual force to-day, &c. &c. Men +usually play as well as they can: they are glad when they win, and sorry +when they lose. + + +V. + +Sometimes--when, alas! you have lost the game--an unmerciful conqueror +will insist on "murdering Pizarro all over again," and glories in +explaining how that your game was irretrievable after you had given a +certain injudicious check with the queen,[F] (the consequence of which +_he says_ that he immediately foresaw,) and that then, by a succession +of very good moves on his part, he won easily. You must bear all this as +well as you can, although it is certainly not fair to "preach'ee and +flog'ee too." + + +VI. + +A good player seldom complains that another is slow. He is glad to have +the opportunity thus afforded to him of attentively considering the +state of the game. Do not, therefore, be impatient when it is your +adversary's turn to move. Take as much time as you require (_and no +more_) when it is your own turn. + + +VII. + +If, whilst you are playing, your adversary will talk about the state of +the game, it is very provoking, but you cannot help it, and the pieces +will give you ample revenge, if you can avail yourself of their power. + + +VIII. + +If the by-standers talk, it is still more annoying: they always claim +the merit of having foreseen every good move which is made, and they +sometimes express great surprise at your not making a particular move; +which, if you had made it, would probably have led to your speedily +losing the game--before which time they would have walked away to +another table. + + +IX. + +Almost every moderate player thinks himself fully qualified to criticise +the move by which a game has been lost.--Although, if he had himself +been in the loser's place, he would, very probably, have been +check-mated twenty moves sooner than the opportunity occurred for +committing the particular mistake, which he thinks he should have +avoided. + + +X. + +Amongst good players, it is considered to be as much an indispensable +condition of the game, that a piece once touched must be moved, as that +the queen is not allowed to have the knight's, or a rook the bishop's +move. + + +XI. + +Some persons, when they are playing with a stranger who entreats to be +allowed to take back a move, let him do so the first time: then, almost +immediately afterwards, they put their own queen _en prise_; and when +the mistake is politely pointed out to them, they say that _they_ never +take back a move, but that they are ready to begin another game. + + +XII. + +Do not be alarmed about the state of your adversary's health, when, +after losing two or three games, he complains of having a bad head-ache, +or of feeling very unwell. If he should win the next game, you will +probably hear no more of this. + + +XIII. + +Never (if you can avoid it) lose a game to a person who rarely wins when +he plays with you. If you do so, you may afterwards find that this one +game has been talked of to all his friends, although he may have +forgotten to mention ninety-nine others which had a different result. +Chess players have a very retentive memory with regard to the games +which they win. + + +XIV. + +If, therefore, any one should tell you that on a certain day last week +he won a game from one of your friends, it may be as well to ask how +many other games were played on the same day. + + +XV. + +There is no better way of deciding on the comparative skill of two +players than by the result of a number of games. Be satisfied with that +result, and do not attempt to reason upon it. + + +XVI. + +Remember the Italian proverb, "Never make a good move without first +looking out for a better." Even if your adversary should leave his +queen _en prise_, do not snap hastily at it. The queen is a good thing +to win, but the game is a better. + + +XVII. + +Between even, and tolerably good, players a mere trifle frequently +decides the event of a game; but when you have gained a small advantage, +you must be satisfied with it for the time. Do not, by attempting too +much, lose that which you have gained. Your object should be to win the +game, and the dullest way of winning is better for you than the most +brilliant of losing. + + +XVIII. + +If your knowledge of "the books" enables you to see that a person, with +whom you are playing for the first time, opens his game badly, do not +suppose, as a matter of course, that you are going to check-mate him in +ten or twelve moves. Many moves called _very bad_ are only such if well +opposed; and you can derive but little advantage from them unless you +are well acquainted with the system of crowding your adversary,--one of +the most difficult parts of the game. + + +XIX. + +Some players have by study acquired mechanically the art of opening +their game in a style much above their real force; but when they have +exhausted their store of _book-knowledge_, they soon fall all to pieces, +and become an easy prey to those who have genuine talent for the game. +Others do not know how to open their game on scientific principles, and +yet, if they can stagger through the beginning without decided loss, +fight most nobly when there are but few pieces and pawns left on the +board. All these varieties of play must be carefully studied by those +who wish to win. It is only talent for the game, combined with much +study and great practice, which can make a truly good player. + + +XX. + +Although no degree of instruction derived from "books" will make a good +player, without much practice with all sorts of opponents, yet, on the +other hand, when you hear a person, who has had great practice, boast of +never having looked into a chess-book, you may be sure either that he is +a bad player, or that he is not nearly so good a player as he might +become by attentively studying the laborious works which have been +published on almost every conceivable opening, by such players as Ercole +del Rio, Ponziani, Philidor, Sarratt, and Lewis. + + +XXI. + +Between fine players, small odds (viz. pawn, with one, or with two +moves) are of great consequence. Between inferior players they are of +none. The value of these odds consists chiefly in position; and in every +long game between weak players, such an advantage is gained and lost +several times, without either party being aware of it. + + +XXII. + +Almost all good players (_and some others_) have a much higher opinion +of their own strength than it really deserves. One person feels sure +that he is a better player than some particular opponent, although he +cannot but confess that, for some unaccountable reason, or other, he +does not always win a majority of games from him. Another attributes his +failure solely to want of attention to details which he considers hardly +to involve any real genius for the game; and he is obliged to content +himself with boasting of having certainly, at one time, had much the +best of a game, which he afterwards lost, _only by a mistake_. A third +thinks that he must be a good player, because he has discovered almost +all the many difficult check-mates which have been published as +problems. He may be able to do this, and yet be unable to play a whole +game well, it being much more easy to find out, at your leisure, the way +to do that which you are told beforehand is practicable, than to decide, +in actual play, whether, or not, it is prudent to make the attempt. + + +XXIII. + +A theoretical amateur, with much real genius for the game, is often +beaten by a fourth-rate player at a chess club, who has become from +constant practice thoroughly acquainted with all the technicalities of +it, and quietly builds up a wall for the other to run his head against. +The loser in this case may _perhaps_ eventually become the better player +of the two; but he is not so at present. + + +XXIV. + +A person sometimes tells you that he played the other day, for the first +time, with Mr. Such-a-one, (a very celebrated player,) who won the game, +with great difficulty, after a very hard fight. Your friend probably +deceives himself greatly in supposing this to be the case. A player who +has a reputation to lose, always plays very cautiously against a person +whose strength he does not yet know: he runs no risks, and does not +attempt to do more than win the game, which is all that he undertook to +do. + + +XXV. + +When you receive the odds of a piece from a better player than yourself, +remember he sees everything which you see, and probably much more. Be +very careful how you attack him. You must act in the early part of the +game entirely on the defensive, or probably you will not live long +enough to enjoy the advantage which has been given you. Even though you +may still have the advantage of a piece more, when the game is far +advanced, you must not feel too sure of victory. Take all his pawns +quietly, _if you can_, and see your way clearly before you attempt to +check-mate him. You will thus perhaps be longer about it, but winning is +very agreeable work. + + +XXVI. + +Many persons advise you, when you receive the odds of a rook, _always_ +to make exchanges as often as you can, in order to maintain the +numerical superiority with which you began. This is very cunning; but +you will probably find that "_Master is Yorkshire too_," and that he +will not allow you to make exchanges early in the game, except under +circumstances which lead you into a ruinous inferiority of position. + + +XXVII. + +You will never improve by playing only with players of your own +strength. In order to play well, you must toil through the humiliating +task of being frequently beaten by those who can give you odds. These +odds, when you have fairly mastered them, may be gradually diminished as +your strength increases. Do not, however, deceive yourself by imagining, +that if you cannot win from one of the _great players_ when he gives you +the odds of a rook, you would stand a better chance with the odds of a +knight. This is a very common error. It is true that, when a knight is +given, the attack made upon you is not so sudden and so violent, as it +usually is when you receive a rook--but your ultimate defeat is much +more certain. If, in the one case, you are quickly killed, in the other +you will die in lingering torments. + + +XXVIII. + +When you hear of a man from the country, who has beaten every body whom +he has ever played with, do not suppose, as a matter of course, that he +is a truly good player. He may be only a "Triton of the Minnows." All +his fame depends upon the skill of the parties with whom he has hitherto +contended; and provincial Philidors seldom prove to be very good +players, when their strength is fairly measured at the London Chess +Club, particularly such of them as come there with the reputation of +having never been beaten. + + +XXIX. + +An elderly gentleman, lately returned from India, is apt to suppose that +his skill has been much impaired by the change of climate, or some other +cause, when he finds, to his great surprise, that his style of play does +not produce such an alarming effect in the Chess Clubs of London or +Paris, as it used to do at Rumbarabad. + + +XXX. + +When you can decidedly win, at the odds of a rook given by a first-rate +player, you will rank among the chosen few. It would be very difficult +to name twenty-five persons in London to whom Mr. Lewis could not fairly +give these odds, although there are many hundreds who would be much +offended at its being supposed to be possible that any one could give +them a knight. + + +XXXI. + +A first-rate player, who is to give large odds to a stranger, derives +great advantage from seeing him first play a game, or two, with other +persons. His style of play is thus shown, and the class of risks which +may be ventured on is nicely calculated. That which, before, might have +been difficult, thus becomes comparatively easy. + + +XXXII. + +There is as much difference between playing a game well, by +correspondence, and playing one well over the board, as there is between +writing a good essay, and making a good speech. + + +XXXIII. + +No advantages of person and voice will enable a man to become a good +orator if he does not understand the grammatical construction of the +language in which he speaks: nor will the highest degree of ingenuity +make any man a good chess player, unless his preparations for the +exercise of that ingenuity are made upon the soundest principles of the +game. + + +XXXIV. + +Every game perfectly played throughout on both sides would be by its +nature drawn. Since, then, in matches between the most celebrated +players and clubs of the day some of the games have been won and lost, +it seems to follow that there _might_ be better players than have been +hitherto known to exist. + + +XXXV. + +Most of the persons who occasionally "play at Chess" know little more +than the moves and a few of the general rules of the game. Of those who +have had more practice, some have acquired a partial insight into the +endless variety of the combinations which may be formed, and their +beautiful intricacy:--a few play moderately well; but, however small the +number of good players may be, it would be difficult to find any one +who, after having played a few hundred games, would not think it an +imputation on his good sense to be considered a very bad player;--and +this is the universal feeling, although it is well known that men of the +highest attainments have studied Chess without great success; and that +the most celebrated players have not always been men of distinguished +talents. + + +XXXVI. + +He who after much practice with fine players remains for a long time +without taking his station amongst them, will find at last that there is +a point which he cannot pass. He is obliged to confess his incurable +inferiority to players of the higher order, and he must be content with +easy victories over a large majority of those whom he meets with in +society. + +[Illustration] + + +CONCLUSION. + +Chess holds forth to the philosopher relaxation from his severer +studies,--to the disappointed man, relief from unavailing regret,--and +to the rich and idle, an inexhaustible source of amusement and +occupation. It has, however, been frequently urged as an objection to +the study of the game, that no man can pursue it, with a fair prospect +of becoming a good player, without devoting to it much time and +attention which might be more beneficially employed. + +Although it may perhaps be true in the abstract, that even a high degree +of skill is not _per se_ worth the time and trouble which it must have +cost, it should be remembered that on this "mimic stage" of life much +besides chess may be seen and studied with advantage. The real character +of a man's mind may, almost always, be known by his behaviour under the +varying circumstances of this most interesting game. The triumph of the +winner, and the vexation of the loser, are often coarsely displayed +amongst inferior players; and, although good players very rarely give +way to this degrading weakness, still, the good breeding of some of +them, towards the end of a difficult match, is not always quite perfect. + +The temper of the student cannot fail to derive very material benefit +from the severe discipline to which it will be subjected. When he begins +to play well he will find that he has learnt to submit patiently to +contradiction; and that he has become convinced of the necessity of +abandoning his most favourite schemes, whenever he sees that from a +change of circumstances they can be no longer pursued with safety.--He +will have felt the full value of using caution and circumspection, when +called upon to exercise his judgment in cases of complicated difficulty, +and he will have acquired the faculty of fixing his undivided attention +on the business in which he is engaged. + +If such qualities of the mind are called forth and strengthened in the +pursuit of a harmless and delightful recreation, the time cannot have +been wholly wasted, although the professed object of study may have been +only the art of giving CHECK-MATE. + + R. P. + + _Whitehall, March, 1839._ + +[Illustration] + + +FOOTNOTE: + +[F] _Infandum Regina jubes renovare dolorem._ + + + + +MAXIMS AND HINTS + +ON + +SHOOTING + +AND + +OTHER MATTERS. + +[Illustration: Drawn by the late Sir FRANCIS CHANTREY, R.A.] + + + + +MAXIMS AND HINTS + +ON + +SHOOTING, + +_&c. &c._ + + +I. + +LET the person to whose care a young dog is intrusted for education be +furnished with an instrument like a short trumpet, which produces a few +harsh and discordant notes; and whenever it may be necessary to correct +the dog, in order to enforce obedience, let such correction be +accompanied by the noise of this instrument rather than by "the +thundering voice and threatening mien" usually employed on such +occasions. When the dog's education has been properly completed under +this system, although you may be comparatively a stranger to him on +first taking him into the field, you will find that by carrying with +you a duplicate of the _un_musical instrument you will have his master's +voice in your pocket, and you will be able at once to make a very +commanding impression upon him, by sounding a few of the harsh and +discordant tones which he has been taught to fear and obey. + + +II. + +You must not insist upon its being admitted without dispute, that the +man who made _your_ gun is the best maker in London. This town is a very +large place, and it contains a great many gunmakers. You must also +remember that it "stands within the prospect of belief" that there may +be other persons who think themselves as competent to select a good gun, +and to shoot well with it afterwards as you are. + + +III. + +In like manner, although you may prefer using one kind of wadding to +another, or may perhaps like to wear shoes and gaiters rather than +trousers and laced boots, you must not suppose that every man who takes +the liberty of forming a different opinion from yours on these subjects +is a mere bungler. + + +IV. + +However steady your pointer may be, remember that he is but a dog. If +you encourage him to run after one hare because it has been wounded by +yourself, you must not be angry with him for chasing another which may +be shot at by your friend. Canine flesh and blood cannot bear this. + + +V. + +Although you may be a very agreeable gentleman, generally speaking, you +will choose an unlucky moment for making yourself particularly so, if +you should on some fine morning after breakfast volunteer to accompany +two of your friends who are preparing to leave the house for a day's +partridge-shooting without any expectation of being joined by a third +person. + + +VI. + +When you are obliged to walk on the left-hand side of a man who carries +the muzzle of his gun too low, do not be so very polite as to take no +notice of this dangerous habit. He will, perhaps, appear quite offended +when you venture to question your perfect safety. But be that as it may, +your position was so awfully unpleasant whilst you were constantly +stared at by the eyes of a double-barrelled gun that your friend's +looking rather cross at you is a matter of much less consequence. + + +VII. + +When a long search amongst high turnips has been made, at your +particular request, for a bird which you erroneously suppose that you +have brought down, and which (naturally enough under such circumstances) +cannot be found, you must not say that your friend's retriever has a +very bad nose, or fancy that "poor old Trigger, if he had been still +alive, could have easily found the bird." + + +VIII. + +Should a farmer's boy come running to you with a partridge which he has +lately picked up after seeing it fall in the next field, your companion +in arms will perhaps assure you that this bird can be no other than that +which _he_ shot at, as you may remember, immediately after you had both +of you passed through the last hedge, and which he afterwards saw flying +very low, and very badly wounded, exactly in the direction which the boy +has come from. An _enfant trouve_ like this seldom waits long for a +father to adopt it. + + +IX. + +Sometimes towards the end of a fatiguing day, when you feel like an +overloaded gun-brig, labouring against a heavy sea of turnips, you may +perchance espy a large covey of partridges in the act of settling near a +hedge a long way before you. Supposing in such case that your brother +sportsman should be a much younger man than yourself, and yet should not +have also seen these birds, it is not always quite prudent that you +should announce the fact to him immediately. If you wish to have a shot +at them, you would, perhaps, do well to say nothing about them till your +weary limbs have borne you unhurried a little nearer to the hedge in +question. The good old rule of _seniores priores_ is sometimes reversed +in a large turnip-field. + + +X. + +In the case of a double shot a gamekeeper never hesitates an instant in +deciding whether the bird was killed by his master's gun or by another +person's, fired at the same moment. + + +XI. + +When you are making your way through a thick wood with too large a +party, it is better that you should be scolded by some of your friends +because you trouble them with very frequent notice of your individual +locality, than that you should be shot by any of them because you do +not. + + +XII. + +On the day of a great battue, if one of the party (not you) should shoot +much better than the others, and if this should by chance be talked of +after dinner (as such matters sometimes are), do not say much about the +very large number of hares and pheasants killed by you--on some other +occasion. + + +XIII. + +When you are shooting in a wood, if some hungry fox, in pursuit of his +prey, should chance to cross your path, it depends entirely upon the +"custom of the country" whether you ought to kill him or not. Bob Short +says, in his Rules for Whist, "When in doubt, win the trick." + + +XIV. + +Never ask beforehand whether or not you are to shoot hares in the cover +into which you are going, but never shoot one after you have been told +not to do so. + + +XV. + +A singular species of optical delusion often takes place in the case of +a man shooting at a woodcock in a thick cover. According to the +impression said to be made upon the shooter's eye, the bird appears to +fall dead more frequently than he can afterwards be found--so that the +truth of this appearance must never be relied on when the evidence of +the bird himself cannot be brought forward to support it. + + +XVI. + +On a grand occasion you need not always trouble yourself to keep an +account of the number of head killed by you, particularly if you do not +dine with the party on that day; because, in your absence, the total +number brought home may perhaps be accounted for after dinner, without +any reference being made to the amount of your[G] performances. + + +XVII. + +When you sit down (_horresco referens_) in a dentist's chair,[H] in +order to have your teeth cleaned, and point out to him, with fear and +trembling, one of them which you think must be drawn;--if he should tell +you that the tooth can be easily stopped, and may still be of much +service to you, do not immediately thereupon feel quite bold and very +comfortable. After a moment's further inspection he may, perhaps, add +very quietly, in a kind of whispering soliloquy, "Here are two others +which must be removed." + + +XVIII. + +If you should stop, with a tired horse, at the door of the "King's Head" +anywhere, and should say to the bowing landlord thereof, that, unless +you can find some other means of pursuing your journey, you shall be +obliged to have a chaise immediately, you must not expect to be told by +him that a very good coach, which is going your way, will change horses +at the "Red Lion," nearly opposite, in less than ten minutes. Should +this be the real state of the case, he will feel that he has no time to +lose; and therefore, instantly seizing the handle of the hostler's bell, +and ringing a louder peal than usual, he will at once show you into a +back parlour, for fear that you should see the coach before a chaise can +be got ready for you. + + +XIX. + +Should it have been your fate to travel often, _more majorum_, on the +box of a stage-coach, more than one coachman has probably told you a +story, two miles long, about some mare so vicious and unmanageable that +she had been rejected by every other coachman on the road, and that +nobody but himself had ever been able to drive her, saying at the same +time, "She is now, as you see, Sir, as quiet as a lamb." You must not +believe all this, although it may perhaps be very true that the mare +kicks sometimes, and that the man is not a bad coachman. + + +XX. + +Although our friend the coachman is supposed to have been so very +communicative to you on the last occasion, he may not perhaps be equally +so on all others: for instance, if, when the roads are very bad, and the +coach is heavily laden, he should, near the end of a difficult stage, +pull up at some turnpike, and enter into a long talk apparently about a +bad shilling or a lost parcel, he is very likely not to explain to you +and the other passengers that his real reason for thus stopping is +because his horses are so much distressed that they would otherwise be +scarcely able to reach the end of their ground. The conference at the +gate is held in order to facilitate the ratification of the treaty for +fresh horses to be exchanged in the next town. + + +XXI. + +On arriving at the place where "the coach dines," walk to the nearest +baker's shop, and there satisfy your hunger in a wholesome manner. At +the dinner which is prepared for the passengers it frequently happens +that if there should have been any cock-fighting in the town lately,[I] +the winner and the loser of the last battle appear at the top of the +table as a couple of boiled fowls; and whenever there is a roast goose +at the bottom, it is probably some old gander, who, after having lived +for many years in the parish, is at last become so poor that he is +obliged to be "taken into the house." + + +XXII. + +If you have children, who are clever, do not question them too closely +in company. Supposing, for example, that at the close of a social meal +in the country, you should be sitting at table with your guests, on the +eve of their departure from your hospitable roof: if, under these +circumstances, some nice little fellow, who has lately rushed into the +room, and is now busily employed with a bunch of grapes, should be +called upon by you to join in the general expression of regret that your +friends are to leave you to-morrow, he may perhaps say, "Yes, papa, we +shall have no grapes after dinner to-morrow." + + +XXIII. + +If you are thought to excel in any particular game or sport, do not too +often lead to it as a subject of conversation: your superiority, if +real, will be duly felt by all your acquaintance, and acknowledged by +some of them; and you may be sure that "a word" in your favour from +another person will add more to your reputation than "a whole history" +from yourself. + + +XXIV. + +On seeing a new invention for the first time, do not instantly suggest a +material alteration of it, as if you felt quite sure that this sudden +thought of yours must be a very clever one. It may be reasonably +supposed that the inventor did not hastily build up his work in its +present form; and it would, therefore, be very unkind that you should +bring the whole broadside of your intellectual guns to bear upon it in a +moment. Besides, after all, it is just possible that the thing may be +better as it is--without your improvement. + + +XXV. + +The great merit of an important discovery frequently consists in the +first application of some well-known principle of action to a class of +objects to which it had not before been applied. When such discovery has +been brought before the public in one instance, the application of the +same principle to other nearly similar objects requires a much lower +degree of inventive talent. A sub-inventor of this sort often views the +result of his labour with all the pride of a mother, when he is only +entitled to the praise due to an accoucheur. + + +XXVI. + +When your friends congratulate you on your recovery from the effects of +a serious accident, it is very proper that you should thank them +sincerely for their kindness in so doing: but it is by no means +necessary that you should give a very detailed description of all your +sufferings, and of every symptom attending the gradual progress of your +recovery; nor need you explain exactly what was at first said by Mr. +Drugger, the apothecary, and what was afterwards the opinion of Sir +Astley Cooper. You had better not do this; although some persons think +that what the nurse occasionally said ought not, in a case like theirs, +to be omitted. + + +XXVII. + +On the same principle, if you should have lately been robbed, and should +feel disposed to communicate the particulars of this sad affair, you +really must not begin your account of it by telling us every thing which +you were dreaming about just before you first heard the noise of thieves +in your house on the eventful night of the robbery, adding always in +conclusion, by way of appendix to your copious narrative, a correct list +of the articles stolen. If you do this too often, you must not be +surprised if some of your hearers should at last be almost tempted to +regret that when you were robbed you were not murdered also. + + +XXVIII. + +If it should be mentioned in conversation that a celebrated mare, +belonging to Mr. Swindle, of Newmarket, has lately trotted sixteen miles +within the hour, in harness, do not think it necessary to recount the +wonderful performances of a famous gig-horse which you once had. + + +XXIX. + +After having lost several games at billiards, when you are playing at a +gentleman's house, it is not polite that you should attribute your +failure to the inaccuracies of the table. These sundry defects of level +are less likely to be complained of by the winner than by you; and he, +therefore, stands less in need of this caution than you do. + + +XXX. + +When the lord of the manor is showing the beauties of his house and +grounds to you, and points out a very fine row of trees for your +particular admiration, make no allusion to the magnificence of the +avenue at Wimpole; and if he should afterwards show to you one of his +pictures, which he values highly as the work of some celebrated master, +remember that, although you may have been told privately, by a good +authority, that the picture is not really what your friend supposes it +to be, you are not called upon to display your borrowed knowledge as +your own, and to make yourself odious by endeavouring to convince him +that he has been deceived in the purchase. + + +XXXI. + +Do not bestow extravagant praise upon every article lately bought by +you, as if you considered that it had acquired increased value from +having fallen into the hands of so distinguished a purchaser. Other +persons will estimate the worth of it rather by its own merits than by +yours. + + +XXXII. + +It is quite unnecessary that you should always, in order to show the +extent of your reading, claim a previous acquaintance with every +expression which may be referred to in conversation as having been used +by some celebrated author in one of his works. It is much easier for +another person to quote lines which never were written than it would be +for you to find them.[J] + + +XXXIII. + +Do not consider it to be at all times your bounden duty to correct every +mistake which may be made in your presence as to a name or an +unimportant date. Some persons are so extremely sensitive on these +points that they never allow the offender to escape a summary +conviction. However interesting the conversation may be, they always +feel justified in interrupting it if they can show that the anecdote +which they have cut short related to the late General A., and not to his +brother the admiral. + + +XXXIV. + +If one of your party should be prevailed upon to sing a comic song for +the amusement of the company, he will of course do it as well as he can, +and it would not be flattering to him that you should immediately +afterwards talk about the great pleasure which you formerly derived from +hearing the same song sung by Mathews, or Bannister. + + +XXXV. + +Beware of the amiable weakness of repeatedly telling long stories about +your late father or uncle. They may have been excellent persons, and +their memory may be deservedly respected by you; but it does not +therefore necessarily follow that a full account of everything which was +said or done by either of these worthy men on some trivial occasion +should be very interesting to other people, not even to such of your +friends as may be lucky enough not to have heard it before. + + +XXXVI. + +If you should have lately suffered any great reduction of income from +causes over which you had no control, it is better that you should bear +your misfortunes quietly than that you should be very extensively +communicative to your acquaintance on the subject of your grievances. +If, for instance, you tell them in confidence that you now have only +600_l._ a-year to live upon, such of them as have but 500_l._ will +perhaps think that you still have at least 100_l._ more than you ought +to have. + + +XXXVII. + +Do not think yourself an accomplished traveller merely because you have +visited places where you _might_ have acquired much information. Many a +man has passed some time in a foreign town without learning more about +the beauties of its cathedral or the manners and customs of its +inhabitants than was previously known to others through the instructive +medium of a book and pair of spectacles at home; and therefore although +you may have really been at Rome, and may have actually seen with your +own eyes both the Apollo Belvidere and Raphael's Transfiguration, you +must not, on that account only, consider yourself qualified to take a +leading part in every conversation on subjects connected with the fine +arts. + + +XXXVIII. + +Many persons who are possessed of much information have a tedious and +unconnected way of imparting it. Such men are like dictionaries, very +instructive if opened in the right place, but rather fatiguing to read +throughout. + + +XXXIX. + +The foundation of good breeding is the absence of selfishness. By acting +always on this principle--by showing forbearance and moderation in +argument when you feel sure that you are right, and a becoming +diffidence when you are in doubt, you will avoid many of the errors +which other men are apt to fall into. + + +XL. + +Artists, medical men, and engineers are much to be feared by those +persons who are apt to talk a little sometimes on matters which they do +not very well understand. If, reader, you are, like me, subject to this +infirmity, mind what you are about when any professional men are +present. + + R. P. + + _Whitehall, February, 1842._ + + London: Printed by WILLIAM CLOWES and SONS, Stamford Street + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[G] Acting on this principle, I was once supposed to have killed a brace +less than nothing, viz., I went out partridge shooting with two other +persons. At the end of the day one of these said that he had killed +twelve brace, and the other claimed eleven brace. When the birds were +afterwards counted, the number of them was forty-four. I therefore +conclude that the brace which was wanting must have been considered as +my share of the day's sport. + +[H] + + "Whose iron scourge and torturing hour + The bad _extract, and clean_ the best." + + +[I] + + "Thus fell two heroes, one the pride of Thrace, + And one the leader of the Epeian race; + Death's sable shade at once o'ercast their eyes: + _In dish_, the vanquish'd and the victor lies." + +_Pope says_, "In dust." + +[J] _e. g._ Vide quotation, p. 56. + + * * * * * + +Transcriber's Notes: + +The original text does not have a table of contents. One was created for +this version. + +Obvious punctuation errors repaired. + +Page 6, illustration caption, "asssitant" changed to "assistant" (an +expert assistant) + +Page 37, "your's" changed to "yours" (heavier than yours) + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Maxims and Hints on Angling, Chess, +Shooting, and Other Matters, by Richard Penn + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MAXIMS AND HINTS ON ANGLING *** + +***** This file should be named 36821.txt or 36821.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/8/2/36821/ + +Produced by Mark C. 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