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diff --git a/36765-8.txt b/36765-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..40f381c --- /dev/null +++ b/36765-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3612 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland, by +J. Irwin Brown + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland + +Author: J. Irwin Brown + +Release Date: July 17, 2011 [EBook #36765] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF *** + + + + +Produced by Mark C. Orton, eagkw and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF O'NEILL IN HOLLAND. + + + + + Books by CUEY-NA-GAEL: + + + An Irishman's Difficulties in Speaking Dutch. + + Deze humor deed aan het beste van Jerome denken. + (_Nieuwe Courant_). + + Ingenaaid =90 cts.= Gebonden =f 1,25=. + + + Ireland, its Humour and Pathos. + + A most interesting study ... graceful ... bright and readable. + (_British Weekly_). + + Treffende beschrijvingen van landschap... Geestig en + pathetisch. (_N. Gron. Courant_). + + Vol humor en geest--weemoed en melancholie. + (_Dor. Courant_). + + Ingenaaid =90 cts.= Gebonden =f 1,25=. + + + The Further Adventures of O'Neill. + + Thans kregen wij de avonturen van O'Neill te hooren bij een + vriendelijke boerenfamilie..., zijn dwaze ontmoeting in + Gouda.... in het Haagsche Bosch.... en zijn verwarring met + "dank u" en "thank you".... en Kanapé.... en de D-trein--het + was alles niet om na te vertellen. + + Ingenaaid =90 cts.= Gebonden =f 1,25=. + + + Published by J. M. BREDÉE, Rotterdam. + + + + + THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF + O'NEILL IN HOLLAND + + BY + + CUEY-NA-GAEL, + (REV. J. IRWIN BROWN, B. D.) + + Author of "An Irishman's Difficulties in Speaking Dutch", + "Ireland, its Humour and Pathos". + + SECOND EDITION. + + [Illustration] + + ROTTERDAM + J. M. BREDÉE. + 1914 + + + + + For permission to give recitations or + readings from this book, application + should be made to the Publisher. + + + + +CONTENTS. + + Page. + CHAPTER I. + + Where did O'Neill's Dutch come from? 1 + + CHAPTER II. + + Some Characteristics of the Compendious 5 + Guide to Dutch + + CHAPTER III. + + How O'Neill learnt to pronounce 14 + + CHAPTER IV. + + An Interlude and an Application 18 + + CHAPTER V. + + The Wegwijzer on Dutch Syntax 23 + + CHAPTER VI. + + The Grammatical Caress 29 + + CHAPTER VII. + + A Gossipy Letter 34 + + CHAPTER VIII. + + The Surprises of the Maas 44 + + CHAPTER IX. + + The Thunderstorm 55 + + CHAPTER X. + + The Devoted Nurse 68 + + CHAPTER XI. + + Gossip and Diplomacy 76 + + CHAPTER XII. + + A Study in Character 83 + + CHAPTER XIII. + + Belet! 97 + + CHAPTER XIV. + + The Day-train 104 + + CHAPTER XV. + + Supper at a Boerderij 112 + + EPILOGUE 129 + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +WHERE DID O'NEILL'S DUTCH COME FROM? + +A GREAT WORK.--THE CIVILIZED LADY.--BOYTON ANIMATES THE LEARNER. + + +We had all heard something of Jack O'Neill's adventures in Holland; and +the members of our informal little club in Trinity College Dublin were +positively thirsting for fresh details. There must be much more to +tell, we felt sure: and we had a multitude of questions to ask. + +Now the odd thing about O'Neill was that he didn't like to be +interrogated; he preferred to tell his story straight through in his +own way. He had evidently studied hard at the Dutch language, but +without the least regard for system: and it was clear that he had been +by no means careful in the choice of text books. Indeed, he seemed to +be rather sensitive on this point, no doubt regretting that, in the +ardour of his early enthusiasm, he had just taken the first grammar +and exercise-book he could lay his hands upon, without consulting +anybody. It was that curious plan of doing everything by himself that +doubtless led him into the initial mistake, that of trying to get any +sense out of "Boyton and Brandnetel". + +Apparently he had kept that "literary find" by him for reference, and +for digging stray idioms and rules out of, while he added more modern +volumes to his working stock. This would account for his glibness in +rattling off out-of-the-way phrases, and for that rich bizarre flavour +which his simplest Dutch utterance undoubtedly had. + +But we didn't know the worst. + +Intentionally vague though he was in talking about his authorities, we +ran him to earth (so to speak) at last in the matter of "Boyton and +Brandnetel"; and had a happy evening. + +That book was all O'Neill told us, and more. Printed on paper that +seemed a cross between canvas and blot-sheet, it bore the date 1805. +It was very Frenchified, and the English puzzled us extremely. Here is +the Preface--or a part of it. + + =The following WORK was, originally, compiled by William Boyton. + After passing +five Editions+, a Sixth appeared +partly enlarged, + and partly improved+, by Jac. Brandnetel. This last Edition was + published, at the Hague, in the Year, 1751.= + + =The several particles, of Speech, are arranged by the usual Order; + and Declare with precision; every rule being followed, with + practical exercise. This Mode, of teaching, being already + +appreciated+; it will not be deemed Essential; nor do we, point + out, the utility of it. As to Syntax; it is fully treated: whilst, + +last not least+, cares have been exercised, to unite ease with + simplicity, accuracy with idiom, and animate the +Learner+. It aims + at the pupil of +High-Life+, and to acquire the Polish of the + +civilized Lady+.= + + =THE HAGUE, 1805.= + + +This brilliant introduction raised our expectations to fever heat. We +had never encountered such an army of commas before; and as for the +English--! + ++Anything+, evidently, might be met with inside the covers of William +Boyton's 'Work'. + +The best of it, of course, was its extraordinary politeness. Every +other question was prefixed with "Verschoon my", and went on something +like this: "Zoudt gij zoo goed willen zijn mij toe te staan...". Then +there were some plain and unornamental phrases such as "Men weet +nooit hoe een koe eenen haas vangt".--This was labelled 'proverbial +expression', and was translated, happily enough, by "The unexpected +often occurs." + +"Ik heb er het land aan je" was rendered mysteriously: "I have an +objection", "I cannot agree". + +That was puzzling enough, and delightfully vague! But for all that +found the phrase doubly underlined by O'Neill and marked by him as +'useful for general conversation'.-- + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +SOME CHARACTERISTICS OF THE COMPENDIOUS GUIDE TO THE DUTCH LANGUAGE. + +POLITE DIALOGUES.--HOW TO BUY A CASTOR.--NOT MURDERED?--GIJ +ZIJT GERESTAUREERD.--THE ENGERT.--BETAALD ZETTEN.--GEKT GIJ ER +MEDE?--DUIZENDMAAL VERSCHOONING, MEJUFFROUW! + + +There was something good on every page, as might be expected from the +very preface. And, withal, there was a steady process of boasting about +its own merits that was most refreshing in the barren realm of grammar. + +With mock modesty it dubbed itself on the title page, "The Compendious +Guide," and followed this up with another title "_Korte Wegwijzer tot +de nederduitsche taal_." The whole compilation was evidently the work +of several generations of literary gentlemen, who aimed at the 'Polish +of the Civilized Lady' in quite different ways, but whose united +efforts certainly made 'The Work' remarkably incoherent. + +We all quizzed O'Neill unmercifully about the Civilized Lady, and read +some dialogues with immense satisfaction. So uproarious, indeed, did +the fun become at last, that our neighbours on the stair came trooping +in. Three of them were Cape-students, hard-working medicals, whom we +never heard speaking Dutch, though we were well aware they must have +known it. Like the others, they insisted on a full explanation of the +tumult, and we showed them "Boyton". They didn't mind so much about the +Civilized Lady; but when they turned to the Polite Dialogues at the +end, a kind of shudder seemed to pass through them, as if they had got +an electric shock--till finally they dropped the book and screamed with +delight. + +"Why! that's nothing so very odd", said O'Neill, looking hurt. "I have +often used lots of those phrases." Picking up the dishevelled leaves +from the floor, he ran his eye down a page or two and said: "Yes, of +course. These things are all right: A bit stiff and bookish, perhaps; +but correct, quite correct. You fellows needn't be so excited over +nothing." + +"Read us some!" clamoured the men from the Cape. "Read us some of the +dialogues you imitated. Go on! Read!" + +"Oh!" said O'Neill, "almost any one of these conversations about common +things is good enough. Here, for instance." And he took the book in his +hand and walked about the room, giving us first the English--then the +Dutch. + + + ="TOUCHING BUYING AND SELLING.= =WEGENS KOOPEN EN VERKOOPEN.= + + Have you any fine hats? Hebt gij mooije hoeden? + + This is one of the finest in Daar is een van de fraaiste in 't + the Country. land. + + Yes, Sir; this is a dreadfully Ja, hoedemaker; deze tenminste is + nice one. ijsselijk mooi. + + Just come close to the fire, Eilieve! kruip bij het vuur, + Sir; and examine that hat mijnheer; en bezie dien hoed + narrowly. eens wel." + + +"That conversation," said the Professor, "must have been of immense +help to you now in modern Holland?" + +"Hm"--replied Jack doubtfully. + +"O'Neill," said I; "Stop! You're making that out of your head. That +stuff's never in any book." + +"Well," was the hasty reply; "I see this isn't so good as some +parts--not so practical, perhaps; but that's all here. Wait a bit.... +Now listen. Here's something better. Hush!" + + + ="BETWEEN TWO ENGLISH GENTLEMEN.= =TUSSCHEN TWEE ENGELSCHE HEEREN.= + + My dear Friend, I am extremely Waarde Vriend! ik ben ten uiterste + happy to see you. verheugd u te zien (bezigtigen, + of a house). + + It has been reported for a Men heeft voor de waarheid verteld + certainty that you were taken (als eene zekerheid verhaald) dat + by the Turks and murdered gij van de Turken genomen waart + halfway between Leghorn and en gemoord halfwege tusschen + Civita Vecchia. Livorno en Civita Vecchia. + + But these atrocities did not Maar deze gruwelen zijn mij niet + befall me! gebeurd! + + You are convinced it is not Gij zijt overtuigd dat zulks + true? onwaar is? + + I am. Gewisselijk. + + I rejoice that you are restored. Ik verheug mij dat gij heelemaal + hersteld zijt geweest (of a + building: geheel en al + gerestaureerd geworden)." + +There was a noise in the room at this, but O'Neill went on boldly to +finish the Dialogue. + + "Are you speaking in jest? Gekt gij ermede? + + I do not jest. Ik gek er niet mede." + + +"That's enough--quite enough--for the present", said the Cape men. +"We'll borrow the +Wegwijzer+ from you, and bring it back safe. + +"No, there's no fear we'll mislay it, or harm it. Much too valuable for +that. But--you'll excuse us; we can hardly believe you've got that +actually in print. And we're curious to know what kind of rules those +learned grammarians give. You'll lend us this mine of wisdom for a few +days, won't you? Thank you, so much. + +"And by the way, here are some of your own notes. What's this about +_engert_?" + +"Oh", said O'Neill; "that's a reminder about a neat phrase I picked up +from my landlady. Did I never tell you? + +"Well. When my cousin came over, you know, on his way to Germany, he +stayed with me a couple of days. He's very athletic--a fine wiry, +muscular young fellow, lithe as a willow, as you are aware. So I wasn't +astonished at overhearing the landlady and a crony of hers discussing +him. They used a rumble of unintelligible words about Terence, as he +passed the two of them on the stairs with the slightest of nods, and +mounted three steps at a time, whistling as he went. There was no +mistake about their referring to him; and amid the chaos of sounds I +caught the words _eng_ and _engert_. + +Curious to know how Terence's agility, or perhaps his swarthy +complexion, had affected them, I turned up these terms of admiration +in my dictionary; and found _eng_, 'thin', 'narrow'. The longer word +wasn't there. But on the whole it seemed safe to conclude from _eng_ +meaning 'narrow', that _engert_ would work out something like "fine +strapping fellow and in excellent training". If that was it, my +landlady had hit the nail on the head. For Terence had just been +carrying all before him at the last Trinity sports. + +Her admiring criticism I duly entered in my notes and kept for use. + +Some days after Terence had left, the landlady was praising her son's +cleverness to me; and to please her I just said that he was a wonderful +boy. 'Mirakel van een jongen' was the expression I employed; and I was +quite proud of it. But she didn't seem appreciative of my effort, so I +fell back on her own idiom. Fortunately the lad was quite slender, and +I could dwell with satisfaction on the suitability of my new word. + +"Hij is zoo eng", I said. "Ja juffrouw hij is een engert!--een echte +engert!!" + +She received my encomium on her boy with speechless indignation, and +rose and left the room. You can't be too careful", added O'Neill +thoughtfully. + +"Jack," said one of the students. "I prefer your own notes even to +Boyton. Haven't you some more? Ah, what's this?" he enquired, turning +to some pencillings inside the back. "_Dat zou je wel willen_", he read +aloud, "'signification doubtful!' + +"And here's one marked '_commercial_': 'We'll consider the transaction +as settled': Dutch apparently something like, '_Dat zal ik u betaald +zetten_'. Here's another labelled, '_not deftig, but very popular_': +'_Ben je niet goed snik?_' Translation _seems_ to be: 'you're not quite +able to follow my meaning.' + +"Ah! No more? That's a pity." + +"Oh I have plenty more," interposed O'Neill; "but not here. And you +want to read this Boyton volume." + +"Let me finish the 'Dialogue between English gentlemen', and you may +have The Work. + +The first Englishman says: "Ik bid U, mijnheer; laat mij geene +onheusheid begaan." + +Then the other, the man who had been so disappointed that his friend +wasn't murdered, answers politely: "Ik weet zeer wel welke +eerbied+ +ik U schuldig ben." + +Up to this moment the two acquaintances seemed to have got on fairly +well together in spite of some difficulties. Why two Englishmen when +they met in Paris about the year of grace 1805 should plunge into a +complimentary dialogue in Dutch, is not very clear. But that there was +a lurking feeling of antagonism in the +gossip's+ mind towards his +compatriot, seems to be shown by the remark that he now makes to wind +up the dialogue. + +"_Mejuffrouw_(!) _ik bid U duizendmaal om verschooning, indien ik heden +eenige onheusheid omtrent U bega._" + +That was final. The returned traveller hasn't a word for himself, after +he is called 'mejuffrouw.' + +"Mind you, gentlemen," continued O'Neill, holding Boyton aloft like a +trophy, "if I +did+ try to stop too prolonged conversations in that +gracefully irrelevant fashion, I had caught the trick of it from +Brandnetel himself. You have only to go on heaping civilities on your +wearisome talker's head, but take care to call him, just once, +Mejuffrouw, and he'll have to go. It's a neat way of saying Good-bye. +I never found the method to fail. + +Some day I'll tell you how supremely effective I found that unexpected +little turn. + +Why it's nearly as good as _Zanik nouw niet_." + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +HOW O'NEILL LEARNED TO PRONOUNCE. + +THE GOAT THAT RAN ROUND THE ROOF.--A HAS A BROAD SOUND.--NATIVES. + + +"I never could quite understand," said Bart van Dam, the big Cape +giant, who had carried off Boyton the week before, "how O'Neill +managed, out of such an extraordinary book, to pick up anything of the +pronunciation. For, as a matter of fact, he +does+ get quite close to +some of the sounds; and I can nearly always guess what he is trying to +say. + +"When he is talking about that interesting Rotterdam street, the +Boompjes, he doesn't make the first part rhyme with the English word +loom, and then add +cheese+, a thing I have heard Britishers do who +should have known better. And actually, I have noticed he can +distinguish +goed+, +groot+, +goot+. That's promising. + +"Some of my British friends at the Cape, even after I graduated on +English Literature and History, used kindly to drop Dutch words into +their conversation, either to make it easy for me, or to keep up my +spirits, so to speak. Oh never a talk of over five minutes, but little +familiar terms like +taal+, +zolder+, +maar+, and so on, would begin to +be showered in, here and there. One of these linguists had taken me +into his own back garden, (he was very fond of animals of all kinds and +we had gone out to inspect those he had) when he began to explain the +new improvements on his premises. + +We got into a deep discussion on the right way of draining a flat roof. +"Come here", said he, at last. "Look up there, and you'll see a +goat +of mine+ running all round the open space!" + +"Goat!" I exclaimed; "it'll fall!" + +"Nonsense", he said, "not unless lightning strikes it. Firm as a rock! +Now, isn't that the right sort of +goat to carry the water off+?" + +He thought he had said goot in Dutch! + +Well now, Jack's beyond +that+. Who had been coaching him? + +Naturally I turned up Boyton on pronunciation the very first thing at +home--and the mystery was solved! I was amazed. Boyton excels in +teaching the sounds. Here is an extract or two from his + + + =REMARKS ON THE DUTCH PRONUNCIATION.= + + =A= =has a +broader sound+ than in English, bal.= + + =A A= =has a +broader sound+, aal.= + + =A A U= =+sounds broad+, as in graauwen, to snarl.= + + =E U= =is described as resembling eu in Europe. For the +falsity+ + thereof, let the word be pronounced by a Native, and the + +Mistake+ will be +felt+.= + + =G= =is a guttural letter difficult to an Englishman; it can only + be acquired by hearing it from a +Civilized Native+, e.g. + gierig and gijzelen.= + + =U U= =No Englishman can emit this sound. It may be well heard in + vuur (fire) and in guur. Consult a Dutch Instructor.= + + =E I= =This sound is beyond the powers of the unassisted English + Organs of Speech. It must first be heard from an educated + Hollander.= + + =U I= =It is +improper+ to make this identical with oy as in boy; + the native pronunciation must be followed.= + + +There you have some of the Rules! They won't lead you far wrong, in any +case. Then, to crown all, for fear the diligent reader wouldn't have +caught the point yet, Boyton goes back to his favourite "Doctrine of +the Native." Here it is: + + +=The Editor places the learner on his guard against receiving wrong +references, and directs him to an Instructor, or Native, whose Dialect +it is, for the sound peculiar to each letter=. + + +Bravo, Boyton! + +Three kinds of Natives he recommends the beginner to consult. He has +them arranged in a sort of ascending scale--+the Civilized, the +Intelligent and the Polite.+ + +The two former classes will help you with the pronunciation, or with +Het. + +From the latter you get idioms. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +AN INTERLUDE AND AN APPLICATION. + +LOFTY CANOPY OF GREEN.--BENT U EEN DICHTER?--THE CLOTURE.--AN INTERLUDE +AND AN APPLICATION. + + +"So our friend Jack had to ask always for the sounds of the words. That +would be right good for him," said Bart, "and should have made his talk +intelligible." + +"Well of course it did," said O'Neill. "They always understood the ++words+ I used. It was the applications I made that hampered them. + +"I had great trouble with a chatty old gentleman in the tram one +morning going down to Scheveningen. It was just seven--I was hurrying +to get an early dip, and he seemed bent on the same errand. + + +Attracted by my blazer and towel he opened conversation about +sea-bathing, and then proceeded to discourse on the beauties of the +landscape. He seemed chilled by the poverty of my adjectives, though +I worked them vigorously. + + +"Deze weg vin je zeker wel mooi?" he said at last, looking up at the +arched green overhead. "Of houd U niet van de natuur?" + +"Ja, zeker wel!" I hastened to assure him. "Ik houd er erg van--Het is +prachtig! Net een tunnel van geboomte--van loofgroen." + + +Then observing the pleasure my encomiums gave him, I ventured on +something a little more lofty and poetic. My landlady had occasionally +talked about a "canopy," which, so far as I had understood her, I took +to mean the vast cupola of hangings over the old-fashioned bed in my +lodging. She used to say that the canopy was new and beautiful, and +needed constant dusting. + +I had always agreed to this, but never dreamt of hunting up a word that +to all intents and purposes seemed the same as in English. + +"Indrukwekkend schoon," I added. "Wij zitten, als het ware, onder een +canopey (that was my landlady's pronunciation) van bladeren." + +"Een kanapé, mijnheer?" + +"Ja," said I, "een verheven canopy, niet waar? + +Wij zeilen onder een groene canopy--verbazend--magnifique!" + +"Hoe bedoelt U dat?" said the old gentleman more and more puzzled, and +determined to find out my meaning. + +"Wij zitten hier, niet waar?" I began slowly; then pointing to the roof +of green over our heads, I explained: "dat alles vormt een prachtige +canopy boven ons heen. Zeker wel?" + +"Ik geloof het niet", said the chatty old gentleman. "De tram gelijkt +ook niet op een kanapé; of meent U dat?" + +"De tram niet," I exclaimed, "maar de boomen; kijk; het gebladerte, het +geboomte en de hooge dak dat ze maken--dat alles zoo schitterend groen, +dat is, mijns bedunkens, niets dan een canopy, uitgehangen zoo te +spreken, over ons heen, in uitgestrekte schoonheid." + + +The old gentleman surely was a little dull. He said, "Ik begrijp niet +goed wat u zegt. Waar is de canapé? Of bedoelt U soms een badstoel--op +het strand?" + +"Nee", I answered with a deprecating smile; "Ik sprak maar poetisch. ++Verheven+", I added with a wave of my towel towards the greenery +overhead. + +"Hé," said he with friendly interest, "bent U een dichter? Ik had U +voor een schilder gehouden," he explained with a glance at my blazer. + +"Ik--een dichter!" I returned modestly. "Neen; niet erg. Op een kleine +schaal, misschien." +On a small scale+, I meant to say; but I must have +mangled the +sch+ badly, for he didn't catch the point, and I heard him +mutter: "Een sjaal! een sjaal, EN een kanapé!!" + +"Ja zeker, mijnheer," I reasoned; "U ziet het zelf voor U--daar onder +de boomen--dat IS hier een canopy--" + +"Pardon", he interrupted, "dat is niet waar. Dat zijn gewone houten +banken," he persisted argumentatively. "En wat bedoelt U met een sjaal?" + +How pertinacious the old gentleman was! He stuck to me like a leech. I +couldn't shake him off; and we were still far off the Kurhaus. + +It was clearly a case for Boyton's conversational method. + + +"Mejuffrouw!" I said firmly, leaning towards him, "Ik ken Uwe +edelmoedigheid genoeg. Maar"--and here I added two nice little local +idioms from the rich stores of my memory--"maar--U komt pas te kijken." + +That told him he wasn't looking at the matter in true philosophic +perspective. + +But this I followed up, in a more authoritative way, with the assurance +that I didn't at all agree with him. "Waarempeltjes," I whispered with +elaborate distinctness, "ik heb het land aan je!" + + +The chatty old gentleman got off at the next +halte+. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +THE 'COMPENDIOUS GUIDE' ON DUTCH SYNTAX. + +NO DEFINITE RULES.--ALL NOUNS TO WHICH HET IS PREFIXED ARE NEUTER.--DEN +IS NOT A PURE NOMINATIVE.--IK GRAUW, IK KEF, EN IK KWEEL.--A BOYTON TO +THE RESCUE. + + +Boyton's monograph on pronunciation is his finest piece of work. He +never quite reaches that level elsewhere; and, if he is destined after +a hundred and fifty years to achieve a name, it had better rest on his +'Doctrine of the Native' than on his Syntax. + +So van Dam assured us, when our little party met in his room the week +before Christmas. + +We had all been busy; but busy or not, the Cape men found time to skim +over Boyton's entertaining paragraphs, as, indeed, we guessed, from the +frequent guffaws and readings that reached us from time to time through +the closed doors. To night we had accepted an invitation to supper, +before the holidays; and we were to hear his views on O'Neill's 'Guide, +Philosopher and Friend', Boyton,--in other words the '_Wegwijzer tot de +nederduitsche taal_'. Long since Jack had, indeed, got other and more +modern manuals of Dutch, so that he was supposed to look now with a +certain contempt on his former monitor: but the "compendious guide" had +laid the basis of his erudition, and he had still a sneaking regard for +its honest old pages. + +What we wanted, indeed, was stories from Jack himself: but we had +exhausted the more dramatic of these; and to get the fine aroma of the +others--there were still many others--we thought some acquaintance with +the compendium's syntax was essential. + +Van Dam had undertaken to put us up to any niceties he had been struck +with. + +The first thing he told us was that Boyton had no clear ideas of any +sort, and never laid down any definite rule. This lent him a certain +diffidence in regard to most points,--a diffidence which in the case of +HET became positive fright. At the first mention of +de+, +het+, and an ++adjective+, he gives as much encouragement as he can. + +It is not much. + + + =An insurmountable Difficulty for the Englischman is the right use of + the Particles, especially +het+. Sufficient rules cannot be given, + E. g. het mooie kind: eene sterke vrouw, een zwart schip.= + + =+This is certain, that all Nouns, to which the Particles, het, dat, + or dit, are added are of the Neuter Gender; on this account, the e + final, in the Adjectives, when joined with such words, is, + generally, rejected.+= + + =Even this rule admits of an exception. E. G. It is never said: +een + snel vogel: de groote paard+. But it is correct to say, if the + meaning admits it, +een groote man+. (also +groot+.) A native may be + consulted with advantage.= + + +When Boyton is labouring under strong emotion, the effect is always to +increase the number of commas, colons, and other stops. + +His agitation may also be traced in the way he harks back to any +fundamental rule that he has already discussed ad nauseam. + +It is quite pathetic to note how he urges on his readers to reserve +their dezen and dien and den for the accusative. + + + =It is good Dutch to say: ik zag dien braven man gisteren, _I saw + that honest man yesterday_; +but it is very bad Dutch,--whatever + custom may have introduced in some places; to say+--dien braven man + heeft het gezegd.= + + +Take some gems at random. + + + =N.B. Prepositions are that part of speech, which are so called + because they are, commonly, put before the words, which are + subsequent to them, as +onder+ and +ondanks+.= + + + =N.B. Most Adverbs may be distinguished from adjectives by this + rule: If a substantive is added after them, they will make + +nonsense+; whereas, being joined to an Adjective or a Verb, they + will make good sense.= + + +"What I admire most," said van Dam handing back The Work to O'Neill, +"is the elasticity of the rules. He says, for instance, that you can +render +I know+ by +ik weet+, and on the whole he is inclined to +recommend that way of it. But he never commits himself. + +"+It must be also admitted that there are other authors of good standing +who employ the Subjunctive form where we might expect the Indicative +and who say+ IK WETE, +I know+." + +That's one of his rules! + +As a matter of fact there is no finality about anything in these pages. +O'Neill, you were in training for a poet when you took up this book. I +confess I should have liked to hear you going over your fifteen classes +of irregular verbs, on the model (say) of ik grauw, ik kef en ik kweel, +or even of ik krijsch, ik piep en ik lieg. + +There is a rich profusion of tenses too in Boyton. He needn't have +apologized for being too simple when he furnishes you with four +ordinary optatives and four future optatives." + +"You may jest as you like about Boyton", interrupted Jack; "but I tell +you it's a book that has points. Do you know it once helped me to save +a lady's life?" + +"Save a lady's life!" said the Professor and the Philosopher in one +breath. "We'll withdraw all we've said, if you'll prove to us, now, that +the 'Compendious Guide' was ever the least good to any human being." + +"Tell your adventure in your own way, O'Neill," a boyish voice chimed +in; "and shame the cynics." + +We all glared at the First-year's man--who was making himself very +much at home for a lad of his tender years--but as he had nothing +more to say, we let him off with a look, and turned to the lethargic +story-teller. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. + +THE GRAMMATICAL CARESS. + +A HAPPY CROWD.--INNOCENCE IN DANGER.--NEMESIS.--THE OUTCOME OF A +REVOLUTION. + + +"You saved life with that Boyton-Grammar of yours, if I catch the drift +of your last remark?" interposed the Professor magniloquently, as if he +were addressing a public meeting. + +"May I hazard the guess that Boyton on that occasion was rather a +weapon of offence than of defence?" + +"Well, you're right," said O'Neill. "Offence is more in Boyton's line. +And he certainly did press heavily, that day, on a butcher's boy. You +remember those slagersjongens that saunter about, in white linen coats, +with great protruding baskets on their shoulders. They jostle and push +wherever they have a chance, and whirl round with their cargoes of +meat, so as to make you start. You know the tribe. Well, Boyton proved +an admirable corrective to the insolence of one of these imps. + +It was a day there was a sort of festival in the Hague. + +From early in the afternoon there was a crush everywhere. The singels +and the main roads through the Wood were filled with holiday-makers. +Soldiers were parading here and there. Everyone was in the best of good +humour; music in the distance rose and fell on the air; flags fluttered +from the windows. Look where you might, there were bright dresses, +prancing horses, snorting motors, and pedestrians of all descriptions. + +I was one of the pedestrians. + +I had been at my grammar in the morning; and after a long spell in the +house had stepped over to Enderby's, and coaxed that lazy fellow out +for a stroll. It was perfect weather, and the crowds were wonderfully +well-behaved. We enjoyed ourselves finely 'under the green-wood tree,' +till we were brought to a stand-still in a dense mass of humanity that +was packed along the edge of a canal, scarcely moving. A procession or +something had impeded the traffic some moments. + +There was a knot of butchers' boys right in front of us. They were +roughly shoving their neighbours about, and seeing what mischief they +could do. Horse play, in fact. They didn't seem to fit into Boyton's +categories, either of 'Natives intelligent' or 'polite'. + +Presently one brawny scoundrel began to throw stones at the occupants +of a carriage that was slowly passing by. + +I couldn't believe my eyes! + +There sat an old lady of eighty or ninety, with soft white hair--the +very picture of fragility; opposite her was a nurse in dark uniform, in +charge of three dainty little children in pink and white--mere babies +of three or four--with innocent blue eyes gazing all round them. And, +actually, that ruffianly +knecht+ was about to bombard the group with +whatever he had in his hand! + +Bang went a big mass of something--presumably hard, from the rattle it +made--against the side of the carriage. + +Happily he was a poor marksman, that rascally slager; for at that short +range he ought to have been able to demolish so fragile an old lady at +the first shot, or at the very least have put out one eye. + +As it was, he only knocked off her bonnet. + +Enraged, apparently, at his poor practice at a practically stationary +target so close at hand, he picked up another half-brick and wheeled, +to take more deliberate aim. + +The delicate old lady grew pale, and spasmodically fumbled with her +parasol to shield the children. + +I thought her eye caught mine; and, seeing there was no escape for her +unless I interposed--no one till now seemed to have noticed the +occurrence--I shouted, "+Stop, slager, stop+!" and whisked Boyton's +learned pages right into his face, taking care at the same moment to +administer a vigorous push to the long arm of the lever conveniently +made by his basket. + +This forced him to revolve suddenly on his own axis--beefsteak and all; +and, as he spun round, I accelerated his motion with a pat or two from +the '+compendium+'. It was all the work of an instant, and executed +just in time. The grammatical caress foiled his aim completely, and he +flung his missile blindly in the wrong direction. + +As I slipped unostentatiously into the crowd out of the immediate +neighbourhood of the discomfited marksman, I had the satisfaction of +seeing the dear old lady recover colour and smile. The babies crowed +with delight, and clapped their hands. They thought it was a game got +up for their special benefit! + +I raised my hat and retired, a warm glow of self-approval in my breast, +and on my lips an involuntary quotation from Boyton: "De spraakkunst is +voor iedereen onmisbaar." + +Meantime the brickbat fell harmlessly on the back of a policeman who, +with hands tightly clasped behind him, was studying a bed of scarlet +geraniums. + +He never even turned, but only said "Ja, ja," over his shoulder! + +Two days after this adventure my eye caught the following paragraph +among the advertisements in the Nieuwe Courant: + + + "Stop, Slager, stop!" + + The Baroness X. and her three grandchildren herewith beg + heartily to thank the young Englishman for his gallant + conduct in the Wood, on the 31st Ultimo. + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +A GOSSIPY LETTER. + +O'NEILL AS A GUIDE.--MEN MANGLED HERE.--NOUN HUNGER.--KINDSCH +GEWORDEN.--A ROMMEL.--HOME-MADE BERLITZ.--SPOORWEG BEPALINGEN.--THE +GROOTE WATER-BAAS.--TWO THOUSAND NEW WORDS. + + +"Don't talk any more about that grammar-book," I interposed. "It's all +very well in its way, but it doesn't account for half Jack's adventures. +Now I can let you into a secret. Please don't look so apprehensive, +O'Neill! As it happens, I had a descriptive letter from Enderby just +about the time that Jack was making the most brilliant progress with +his Dutch vocabulary. It gave me a vivid picture of what was going on +in the Hague when this linguist of ours got really started to work. + +Here are two of these long epistles. In the first he tells me all +about the MacNamaras--Jack's cousins, you know--who came across from +Kilkenny, for a trip to Holland. They were at the Oude Doelen when he +wrote, and our friend Jack was posing as a great Dutch scholar and +showing them the sights. + + (From Enderby to Cuey-na-Gael) + Doelen Hotel, + The Hague. + +My dear Cuey-na-Gael, + +You would be amazed to see the confidence with which O'Neill acts as +guide to the MacNamaras. + +MacNamara +père+ is mostly buried in museums, or is on the hunt for +archaeological papers, so Kathleen and Terence are left on Jack's hands. + +He has been everywhere with them, and has evidently impressed them with +his astounding Dutch. To them it seems both correct and fluent. They +have only had three days of it as yet, and haven't had time to find him +out. Kathleen is as haughty as ever; and I can see she chafes at being +obliged to submit to the direction of a mere boy, as she regards Jack. + +She was furious the day before yesterday, when in passing through one +of the back streets he asked her if she had ever noticed what the Dutch +Government printed in front of the surgeries. + +She glanced up and, to her horror, read: "Hier mangelt men." It was +only a momentary shock; she guessed soon enough what it meant; but it +gave her a turn all the same. Perhaps it wasn't a very finished kind +of joke, but she needn't have been quite so fierce about it. + +"You're cruel," she said, "cruel and heartless! Why even your dogmatic +and intolerable chum, Mr. van Leeuwen wouldn't have been so harsh as +that." + +Now it was that little speech of hers that suggested something to me. +Was there ever anything between her and van Leeuwen? They were at the +University about the same time, and it seems van Leeuwen was a great +friend of the father, who had him down to his place in the country and +showed him his manuscripts. But I believe Kathleen couldn't stand him. +They used always to be arguing about the Suffragettes, and passed for +official enemies, in a way,--at least as uncompromising leaders on +opposite sides. She was fond of saying that van Leeuwen was a standing +proof that mere learning couldn't enlarge the mind. Once in a private +debate she referred to him as a "learned barbarian and a retrograde +mediævalist." + +She was called to order for it, of course; but her apology didn't +amount to much. She said she wouldn't mind dropping the adjectives, but +she would stick to the nouns. + +I believe van Leeuwen was quite content, however, and congratulated his +witty antagonist on the fact that she would mellow with time. + +We always thought in those days they were sworn foes, and always would +be. But I have a dim idea there is now more friendly interest on both +sides. And, by the way, van Leeuwen has been carrying on brisk +correspondence with O'Neill, especially since he heard the MacNamaras +were expected. He has offered his services, and those of his motor, to +all and sundry, especially if they hail from Dublin: so I don't think +he can be keeping up very much of a grudge. + +But I was going to tell you about Jack. + +Lately I had noticed that his Dutch vocabulary was growing very rich. +He seemed to have quite a hunger for nouns, and he used to ask the +names of everything. But I have no idea of what he was up to. To day +I'll find out and write you. + +Much haste. Yours as ever. + Enderby. + + +(From Enderby to Cuey-na-Gael) + +Dear Cuey, + +I've just been at the Doelen Hotel--and the Macs are gone! Very sudden +I must say. I suppose Kathleen has got tired of Holland; or is she +trying to avoid van Leeuwen? + +You see MacNamara +mère+ had written me a friendly little note from +Kilkenny, telling me that the Doctor--as she always calls her +husband--had got a trifle absent-minded since his deafness became +troublesome, and would I look him up occasionally during his stay in +the Hague, and give him some advice about the Rhine. + +Well, when I reached Vieux Doelen, the birds were flown. Gone at six +o'clock, I was told--the three of them--to Cologne! Quick work, I +thought; so I made a bee-line for O'Neill's. He surely would know about +this sudden departure. + +And in any case I wanted to get a glimpse of his new mysterious studies. + +Just fancy! The landlady met me at the door with tears in her eyes. + +"O Mijnheer, Mijnheer!" she exclaimed half-sobbing. "Ik vrees voor +mijnheer O'Neill. Hij studeert te veel, of ik weet het niet--maar het +is niet goed met hem. Ik geloof", and here her voice sank to a +horrified whisper, "dat hij een beetje kindsch geworden is; want hij +heeft speelgoed gekocht, en hij maak overal zoo een rommel." + +"Ja, juffrouw," I strove to explain, "Mijnheer studeert natuurlijk." + +But she persisted, "Oh mijnheer! studeeren is het niet. Hij ziet het +scherm voor een kachel aan, en verknoeit alles. Ik ben zoo bang, zoo +benauwd! Ik durf het huis niet uit, van Maandag af al!" + +Rather flustered by all this, I promised to call the doctor if it were +necessary; then climbed up the stairs to O'Neill's door. + +All was still. I knocked and entered. What a sight met my eyes! Indeed +it was enough to astonish more experienced people than the landlady. + +Neatly fastened on one side of the table was a model train, engine and +all. Beside it was a toy house, with yard, garden, and stiff wooden +trees. Then there was a bit of a doll's room with a kitchen stove. And +verily to every one of these articles there was a label affixed. + +There sat the student, pen in hand, with a dictionary and a gum-bottle +at his elbow. Snippets of paper littered his writing-desk and the floor +around. His unfinished lunch (labelled too) looked down reproachfully +from a pile of books built on the table. + +Over the gorgeous screen that hid the hearth a conspicuous card was +hung, bearing the mystic inscription, "What ought to be here--Kachel." + +No wonder the careful hospita was upset. It would have been hard to say +whether the apartment was more like a museum or an auction room. + +He glanced up with a sort of blush when I came near; but raised his +hand to enjoin silence, as he found the word he was in search of, and +wrote it down. + +Half expecting to see prices marked, I examined some of the labels. + +Nearly every thing had its Dutch name gummed on to it, such as 'spiegel +lijst,' 'behangsel,' 'schotel of bakje,' and even on his sleeve 'mouw +van mijn jas.' + +"It's all right!" he burst forth enthusiastically. "Doing Berlitz +Dutch, you see! Self-taught, too! Splendid plan. Three hundred words +a day. I'll have two thousand new nouns at my fingers' ends before the +Macs are back from the Drachenfels. Precious few things in the ordinary +way of life, I won't know then! Eh, what?" + +Then it dawned upon me he was getting up vocabulary. + +"Nouns, of course," he said. "All nouns. That's the secret. True basis +of any language. + +"It's a discovery of my own. If you know the names of two or three +thousand material things, you can never be at a loss. But I stick in a +proverb, too, here and there, wherever it comes handy. See?" + +He held up the sleeve of his dressing-gown on which the candid +announcement was made in bold round-hand: "Ik heb het achter de mouw", +and pointed to his bread-knife, which was tastefully adorned with the +words: "Het mes op de keel zetten." + +Yes, I saw. + +Well; then he explained, and argued, and tried to proselytize me. He +was making hay while the sun shone--which meant that he was preparing, +in the absence of Terence and Kathleen, for his famous cycling-tour; +getting on his armour, in fact. + +In such spirits I had never seen him. + +And, I must say, he made out a good case for his method. It seems he +had anticipated most of the queries he might be obliged to put during +his travels. He had docketed every part of a railway carriage, and even +mastered all sorts of regulations, from those of the Luxe-trein to +Buurtverkeer, and from the yearly ticket to the humble perronkaartje. +It looked very thorough, and I understood that he had treated his cycle +the same way. But I have grave doubts! I am the more confirmed in my +scepticism from what the landlady told me at the door. After reassuring +her on the score of O'Neill's health, I emphasised the fact that he was +going on a trip, and must practise Dutch by way of preparation. + +That was worse than all, she thought; as Mijnheer O'Neill would +certainly come to harm. "Hij is zoo veranderd! Hè! Het is zoo eng." + +Yesterday he had asked her about the print of a sea-fight that her +little boy had put up in the hall. She said it was de Ruyter; and began +to expatiate on that hero's achievements. + +But he cut her short with: "Een beroemde man was hij zeker; misschien +de grootste _water-baas_ van zijn tijd." + +I explained that he probably meant _zee-held_; but not remembering the +right term in time, had taken one like it. + +But the landlady could not be pacified. + +"Het doet mij huiveren te denken dat hij op reis gaat!" she said. + +I was not without my apprehensions either. For he means to start out +next week with two thousand new words. + +He'll probably find that such hastily acquired information is not +without its drawbacks. + +But more again. + Vale, vale. + As ever yours, + Phil Enderby. + +P. S. The Macs are gone to Bonn, where your uncle expects to find +wonderful manuscripts. Not much fun for Kathleen though! And Terence +will be bored to death. Why doesn't O'Neill bring him back to Holland +and show him Amsterdam and other towns? + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +THE SURPRISES OF THE MAAS. + +FAIRYLAND.--IK KRIJSCH, IK FLUIT EN IK GIL.--POLYPHEMUS AND THE +SEA-SERPENT.--CLOTHO.--GLOOM AND MYSTERY.--WHAT IS TREK?--THE SOCRATIC +DIALOGUE.--A COSY TALK.--THE CHAT.--EVIDENCES OF HUNGER. + + +"Well, well!" ejaculated O'Neill irritably. "What an inveterate old +gossip Enderby is, to be sure! + +"Of course I got Terence back quite soon from Bonn, where he had +nothing to do; and I gave him a splendid time sight-seeing in Haarlem +and Amsterdam. I'll tell you about that, another time. + +But first about my run to Rotterdam, where I went one day for a little +change I needed. + +The landlady was a bit peevish and hysterical, and, of course, very +bothersome. She never quite took to the Berlitz method, as I had +improved it; and she became grandmotherly to me from the moment I made +that slip about the _zee-held_. + +The whole thing was getting on her nerves, so I gave her a rest. Took a +day off, in fact; and went for a tour round the Rotterdam havens. + +I had some idea of recapitulating the old ground--the first thousand +words, you know--whilst I should be steaming around the harbour. But as +soon as we pushed off from the wharf and went skimming over the sun-lit +Maas, the brilliant and animated scene wiped the new vocabulary clean +out of my mind for the time-being; and I didn't feel at all inclined to +dig it out of my notes. + +The marvellous colouring of everything held me spell-bound. It was like +fairyland. Our boat was crowded, and a man on board pointed out the +sights. That was the only Dutch study I got that day; for some one +began to speak to me in English--an Amsterdammer, as it appeared, who +told me that the grachten in Amsterdam surpassed every other spectacle +the world had to show; and made me promise to go and see them as soon +as I could. + +I asked him what he thought of the harbour we were in; but he wasn't so +enthusiastic. + +Meantime it had grown darker, and a steady, cold, sea-fog drifted round +us. It got dismally wet, as well as gloomy; and the deck dripped with +clammy moisture. We were hardly moving, presently; and our captain kept +the steam whistle hard at work. The sight-seers were grievously +disappointed; and one fellow-victim informed me it would be a good +thing if we got near land anywhere, in time to catch the last train. + +Horns kept booming around us, every few seconds; perky little tugs and +immense black hulls swept by us at arm's length, piping or bellowing, +according to their temperament and ability. + +The Amsterdammer and I had gone to the prow, to try and peer a little +further into the dense curling vapour, when a siren--I think that's +what you call the thing--gave such a sudden blood-curdling yell at our +very elbow, it seemed as if we had trodden on the tail of the true and +original Sea-serpent, and that the reptile was shrieking in agony. + +From that time on, we had sea-serpents every other minute--whole swarms +of them--infuriated, inquisitive or resigned--soprano, alto, tenor;--all +whining, hooting and snorting; every one trying to howl all the others +down. + +Excuse my referring to it, but it was the best illustration I had yet +got of Boyton's verbs. + +"Ik graauw, ik kef en ik kweel!" said one set of voices. "Ik krijsch, +ik fluit en ik gil!" answered their rivals. + +But the deep boom of new-comers swept the earlier songsters out of the +field: "Ik rammel, ik ratel en ik scheur". It was a regular chorus. + +"Ik gier en ik piep", squeaked the little tugs, "ik fop en ik jok". + +But the first musicians--the sentimental ones--wouldn't be outdone. +They were evidently turning over their grammars very rapidly, to get +a really melancholy selection, for in another moment their lugubrious +snuffle pierced the fog like a knife: "Ik wee-ee-een; ik krijt; en ik +hui-ui-ui-l-l!" + +There was one long-drawn-out sob, that rose and fell and rose again +with such appalling and expressive anguish that I could have imagined +half the Netherlands had turned into a gigantic sea-serpent, and had +bitten off its own tongue. So human, too, was its tortured wail, that +I instinctively thought of Polyphemus having his eye gouged out by +Ulysses. The hero, you remember, did it with a burning pine. One has +a horrible sympathy for Polyphemus, even though he is a monster and +mythical. + +Happily our Polyphemus only gave two or three of his prize yells. Then +he seemed to settle into sleep, away down the river somewhere. + +The Amsterdam-man explained to me that in his city the fog-horns were +much more musical. + +This thesis was warmly contested by a Rotterdammer who had overheard +it, and who spoke of the Capital with a distinct want of reverence. + +The argument soon deviated into Dutch, and I lost hold of it; but +through a cloud of statistics and history I observed that local +patriotism on both sides stood at fever heat. + +By and by, the fog thinned a little; and we crept along to a +landing-stage, where the Amsterdammer and I climbed on shore with +alacrity. We lost our way at first, and wandered about within earshot +of the siren-brood, whooping and calling and taunting one another on +the river; but my new-made friend stumbled at last on some spot he was +acquainted with; and hastily giving me some directions, went off to his +train. + +After the long Polyphemus-concert on the murky river I wasn't in much +humour for Dutch, but I had to speak it at every corner to ask my way. + +In an open thoroughfare--there were some people about, but not +many--near an archway, I came upon Clotho. + +Perhaps the Greek Mythology was running in my head: but there she sat. +Old beyond words, but hale; wrapped up marvellously with head and jaws +swathed in dim flannel, she gazed, without moving, on a table in front +of her, spread with dried eels and other occult delicacies. As I +approached, to enquire for the 'kortste weg naar de electrische tram', +she didn't move a muscle. Something about her made me pause upon my +step, and refrain from speech. + +No movement. + +But wait! One thickly muffled hand went out to some obscure eatable, +slowly grasped it, dipped it in a sort of cup, then, still more slowly, +brought it to her lips. + +Yes. She was alive; for she munched, calmly and dispassionately. + +The sight impressed me. It was like Fate; or an ancient priestess +performing mysterious rites. Clotho would look like this, if Clotho +would munch instead of spin. + +Meantime the inevitable butcher's boy had joined me. Two of them, +indeed, stood at my side, curious to know what interested the ++vreemdeling+. + +The old lady never winced under the scrutiny, but put forth her hand +again for another shell. + +There was a book-stall near, but nobody at it, as far as I could see. +The whole street sounded hollow; and everything dripped. It made me +shiver to look at the stone-pillars, oozy and moist, with condensed +sea-fog trickling down. The glaring street-lamps hardly lit up the +scene; but they showed the damp. Polyphemus gave a distant whoop, as if +it were his last: and the Spectre munched. She hadn't once looked up. + +It all felt like a dream--except for the butchers' boys. + +"Wat doet ze--die oude mejuffrouw?" I enquired. + +"Ze zit te eten," was the prompt reply. + +"Waarom zit ze te eten daar?" I asked. + +"Om dat ze trek heeft!" + +A snigger went round the company. Evidently that reply was of the +nature of wit; and they expected something sparkling from me in return. + ++But+ I couldn't sparkle. + +"+Trek+" was unknown to me. Strange, how you can be bowled over by +a simple word, if you've never heard it. Trekken--trok--getrokken, +was familiar. That meant 'to pull,' 'draw,' or 'wander'. +"Trekschuit"--"trekpot"--"trekvogel"; I had them all labelled on my +desk in the Hague. But "trek" itself, what was that exactly? Provided +of course, the youth were grammatical,--which I very much doubted. + +"Zij heeft getrokken," however, when I tried it, only raised new +difficulties. +What+ then did she pull, and +why+? + +'Trekvogel' was an alluring idea to follow up, in a town where Jan +Olieslagers' fame was universal: but common sense forbade my pursuing +that line far. + +The defects of my home-made Berlitz became painfully evident. It's +humiliating, when you have your 2000 new nouns at your fingers' ends, +and hundreds of old ones; and yet can't understand the first thing a ++knecht+ says. + +But the bystanders were growing impatient; so--to withdraw gracefully--I +enquired, "wat is _trek_?" + +It was probably the best retort I could have made. "Ja, wat is het?" he +soliloquised, evidently puzzled, "Ik weet het niet. Maar ik heb altijd +trek." + +"Ik ook", said a smaller boy; "in een boterham." + +Tongues were loosened on all sides. "Nee; in een lekker stuk worst," +I heard one say. + +"Nee; niet waar"; interrupted a brawny fellow with a brick-red face; +"Zuurkool en spek." + +I nipped the unprofitable discussion in the bud by demanding, as I +moved away: "Maar wat _is_ trek?" + +"Dat weet je wel," said the first fellow, the wit. "Als je te veel eet." + +"Nee, heelemaal niet," jeered a late-comer. "Kan je begrijpen! Maar als +je +niets+ eet, +dan+ heb je trek!" + +The crowd cheered at this. He had evidently the majority with him. High +words followed; and the controversy became general, as the protagonists +in this psychological debate found backers, and swarmed away towards +the centre of town. + +I was left alone, and Clotho looked up. + +She dipped a periwinkle in one of the weird cups, and held it towards +me. + +"Heeft Mijnheer trek?" Would I join in the repast! + +"Ik? Duizendmaal verschooning!" I said, as I quickened my pace in rapid +retreat. + +My confusion increased as I reflected that I had probably been urging +my late interlocutors to "define appetite"--a thing even Aristotle could +hardly do. Naturally the populace broke into parties--Aristotelians and +Platonists (let us say), or into Hoekschen en Kabeljauwschen. + +In any case my confidence was shaken in my improved, home-made Berlitz. +It might be splendid for travelling; but in ordinary life it didn't +seem to cover the ground. + +On arriving at my lodgings I was met at the door by the landlady's son. +He was beaming. Lately he had been working up his English, and truly +had made giant strides. + +"Koot eeffening, Sir," he said; "Koot eeffening! Ai hef an little chat." +"+I wish to have a chat+", he _seemed_ to mean. + +It was an odd request for a trifling practice in English; but I like to +encourage merit, so I assured him of my willingness to have a friendly +talk. + +"Oh, yes. All right," I said. "But won't you come up stairs? We have a +few minutes before supper." + +"But--Ai hef +here+ an naiz little chat!" + +"Ah, just so. Did you perhaps have a talk with some one in English when +I was away?" + +"No, sir; but ai _hef_ een chat." + +This was bewildering; and as he seemed puzzled, too, and always stuck +to the same noun I investigated more fully. + +"You talk of a _chat_!--dat is een praatje, weet je wel?" + +"Nee, mijnheer, heus: het is waar. Geen praatje." + +We were half-way up the stairs now. "Come on", I said. + +"Vayt", he replied, diving into some recess. "Ai vil let see you." + +In an instant he was back with something under his coat. This he +produced with the delighted exclamation: "ze little chat!" + +It was a bedraggled kitten that he had discovered wandering about in +the fog and mewing piteously. "Vil you hef him? Anders, zegt moe, hij +kan niet blijven." + +"I'll talk to your mother about the kitten," I answered. +"Kitten,--that's what we call it--not chat. Maar hoor eens, jongen, +heeft het poesje trek?" + +"O mijnheer, verbazend!" was the ecstatic reply; and in another three +minutes he had a saucer of milk under the foundling's nose, and was +watching kitty's lapping operations with a joy as keen as that of kitty +herself. + +I had got what I wanted without any philosophic argument. There was the +proof. + +_Trek_ is _appetite_. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +THE THUNDERSTORM. + +THE NORTH SEA COAST.--AN EXQUISITE DAWN.--A MORNING WALK.--BY THE +SUMMER SEA.--LOST IN THE DUNES.--NO FOOD FOR SALE.--AN ORDINARY +BAKER.--THE BROKEN SIESTA.--WOU JE ETEN?--BETAALD ZETTEN.--YOU DON'T +QUITE FOLLOW.--REPARTEE UNDER DIFFICULTIES. + + +I must tell you about that great walk we took from Leyden to Haarlem. +That was just after Terence came back from Germany, wearied with waiting +till his learned Dad would cease pottering about the museums in Bonn. + +He wrote to van Leeuwen in Arnhem; and urged that youth use his +influence with the University Librarian to let Dr. MacNamara see the +Irish manuscripts he was so keen upon. Then, if you please, my brave +Terence thought his duties were over, as far as helping his father was +concerned. Taking the next train for the Hague he turned up unexpectedly +at my lodgings. + +That was at six in the morning, and he banged at my bedroom door till +I was awake. + +"I'm back," he said: "And I'm going to carry you off on that famous +bicycle tour of yours. Hurry up with all those papers and preparations +and things,--and I'll be round with my bike in no time!" + +"Well!" I shouted through the closed door, "you may come as soon as ever +you like; but there'll be no bicycle tour to-day. I'm not nearly ready +yet. I've all the nouns from T to Z to learn yet; and it'll take me +another week. Catch me leaving this neighbourhood without those nouns! +No, my boy. But I'll take a tramp with you to the seaside, if you like." + +He didn't wait for my explanations but pranced off grumbling, and I +didn't see him till noon. He was then quite willing to fall in with my +project of a long walk--first by the strand to Noordwijk, then inland +through the dunes, and so on to Haarlem. + +We only got as far as Noordwijk that evening. After a heavy miserable +trudge by the shore, and mostly through loose sand, we were glad enough +to put up at Huis-ter-Duin for the night. The sunset, magnificent +though it was, could hardly banish the deep sleepiness that seized us. +Terence, who was in better training than I, sat up smoking a while, but +I heard him go off to his room before I fell over. All the music, +laughter, and talk about the place, never in the slightest degree +disturbed our slumber. + +I slept like a log, and awoke early, with the sound of the sea in my +ears. It was a softly modulated, gentle murmur that seemed to call me; +and when I looked out, the view was superb. Deep blue, almost indigo in +hue, and calm as oil, the waves stood high on the sands. Every now and +then a long, knife-like billow would slowly rise up for half-a-mile or +so, poise itself for an instant, and then fall with a mighty flap, like +a wall of slate. Away out towards the horizon the ocean gleamed a +fairy-like blue and opal; but close at hand it had a deep, menacing +tint that took your breath away. And all the time those slatey ledges +of water kept languidly lifting themselves and suddenly dropping, as +if they were alive. + +When I opened the window, a cool wind softly stole in--like some subtle +elixir. I looked at my watch. It was half past four. Fired with the +idea of having a tramp by that mysterious light, I went off and roused +Terence--happily without terrifying the other inmates of the hotel. He +was willing to make an early start if I could secure him enough +breakfast. + +This required some diplomacy. Suddenly encountering a _knecht_ prowling +about and collecting boots, I tried to communicate our plans to him, +and gain his sympathy. No idiom, however, that I was acquainted with +was equal to this strain: so I had recourse to the language of gesture +and the display of coin. This at last induced him to bring us part of +his own modest breakfast--a chunk of black bread and a hard-boiled +egg--and to let us out by the front door. + +He kept our bags, however, and a bankbiljet, to settle the rekening +provisionally, and as an evidence of good faith. It was a fussy business +getting him to agree even to this, and in consequence I quite forgot +about my dictionary and "walking-tour notes"--which were strapped up +in the bag. + +Indeed, I didn't notice the neglect till we were far away from the +hotel. But there was no Dutch needed for a long time. + +It was an exhilarating experience to go careering along by that weird, +threatening sea in the fresh morning air. The scent of herbs and +wild-flowers on the dunes greeted us when we took a turn inland: and +the colours of everything around us kept changing with incredible +swiftness. + +At first we couldn't keep our eyes off the mirror-like expanse of +water. Its slate became steel-blue--the steel-blue deepened into purple +shading off into amethyst, while the sky and the air all about us grew +rosy, then saffron, then silver. + +Over and across the rolling hills we trudged, our spirits rising every +instant. Why shouldn't we keep on till we got opposite Haarlem, then +strike off east, do that city, and return by rail? Why not indeed? +Huis-ter-Duin and its slippered knecht could settle the matter of the +rekening and the change, by post; and we should make a day of it! + +So we climbed up and down along the edge of the grassy slopes, till the +tide retired from the sands a little. There we had a delightful hour, +along the firm damp shore. It grew sultry after a while; yet it was +only a quarter to eight. There would be more heat yet! Alternately we +tried the dunes and the beach--the beach and the dunes--but there was +no shelter from the sun; and the pleasant wind had died down. After an +other couple of hours' toil through the hot, loose sand we decided we +had enough of the coast for the day, and followed a kind of winding +path inland. This was a regular cart-track at first, and promised to +lead us to some thriving village where we could have a rest. But it +didn't. It twined round a score of scattered potatoe plots, and then +came to an abrupt and ignominious end against a wire fence, on the top +of a hill. No doubt we ought to have gone back and kept along the shore. +But we were too hungry to think of returning to the desolation we had +left. What we wanted was to see houses as soon as possible--houses +containing eatables and cool rooms and chairs. Besides, we were as yet +pretty confident of our geographical whereabouts; accordingly we pushed +on for Haarlem--as we thought. + +Well, it was a great mistake! The map makes the dunes only a few miles +broad at most, yet we climbed up and down for hours, and couldn't get +clear of them. + +Once we saw a fisherman at a distance and we yelled to him. He answered +"terug" very faintly, and waved both arms. We hurried to meet him, but +not a trace of him was to be found. Though the heat was intense, after +a while shimmery haze began to spread over the sky, and there came a +sudden change. It got dark and cold; and the storm that had been +threatening all day burst on us with fury. In two or three minutes we +were drenched. There was a marvellous display of sheet lightning so +curious and varied that for a while it diverted our attention from our +miserable plight, as we stumbled on over soaked hillocks and sand. We +had a good hour of this. + +In a dismal grove of non-descript-shrubs, we at last stumbled upon a +trifling shelter, just as the rain was ceasing; and there we shivered +like aspens, till the truth dawned upon us that there was a faint sound +of human voices over the slope. "Hurrah!" we shouted. "Relief at +last--and a chance of something to eat!" + +Stiff and dripping though we were, we positively bounded over the sand +hill. + +Two or three small one-storied cottages came soon into view. Rushing +into the first--it looked like a shop, and had the words _garen en +band_ over the window--we demanded pointedly if we could get food. The +youngish woman who ambled slowly to and fro behind the counter, said +she had no coffee or bread for us, but we could get these things in +Haarlem. There was a good restaurant there. + +"Geen ei?" I asked. + +No; not even an egg for sale. + +Very disappointed we retired, still dripping, and gloomier than ever; +but as we left the winkel I espied a group of schoolchildren, with +capes round their heads, dancing along merrily hand in hand. They were +evidently coming from school. Such bright blue eyes, such plump and +rosy cheeks suggested that food was plentiful wherever they lived. +There must be a butcher and a baker near, I concluded; and by a happy +inspiration I turned back to the depressing _garen en band_ shop, and +enquired where the local baker was to be found. + +"Is er een baker hier?" I enquired politely of the lethargic juffrouw. + +She woke up immediately. "Ja, zeker!" was the prompt reply. "Net +gisteren thuis gekomen!" + +This was all right, of course. Why does he come home and go away, I +wondered. But, after all, that was a small matter. He was at home now. +A peripatetic baker, perhaps, might be some very special and clever +artist in pies and tarts and rich cake--and it was the humble, ordinary +baker that we were in search of. I stated this. "Geen banket baker is +noodig, juffrouw!" I explained. "Een gewonen baker bedoel ik--een +gewonen alledaagschen baker. Bestaat er een hier?" + +She had meantime summoned two young men from a sort of den behind the +shop, and now communicated my wishes to them with an interest and an +animation that I hadn't expected. They led us rapidly half a mile +across fields, and then up a little lane. The last few yards were done +in good record time, I should say. + +This sympathetic promptitude we highly appreciated, as we felt now more +and more famished, the nearer we approached provisions. We reached the +baker's house breathless, and were ushered panting into a kind of +waiting room. At least you couldn't call it a shop exactly. + +When the baker came into this apartment (by the way it was a woman, +that turned up--a portly and middle-aged woman) we noticed that she was +rather dishevelled, as if just awakened from a much needed siesta. I +was sorry, but not surprised. Bakers are often that way, you know. They +bake during the night, and sleep during the day. Thus they are rather +drowsy and cross, if you wake them up. She looked both. There was a +portentous frown upon her brow; and really, she seemed somewhat of the +virago type. That made me doubly polite. + +"Duizendmaal vergiffenis, banketbaker!" I apologised with my best bow. +"Het spijt mij geweldig.--Maar zult gij zoo goed willen zijn--?" + +"Ja ja!" she interrupted impatiently; "Waar? Heb je een rijtuig?" + +"Een rijtuig?" I exclaimed in bewilderment. "Nee. Ik heb geen rijtuig. +Maar mag ik u beleefd verzoeken of U zoo goed--." + +"Ja, ja! Is er haast bij?" She broke in again. + +"Wel zeker!" I replied courteously, "Veel haast. Wij zijn verbazend +hongerig." + +But she was gone, and hadn't heard the last remark. In a moment or two +she reappeared, fully dressed, tying the strings of her bonnet. + +As I waited a second before repeating my request, she grew most +unreasonably irritable, and actually stamped her foot, exclaiming +disrespectfully: "Gaauw nouw! gaauw een beetje." + +"Ja baker!" I answered. "Wilt gij zoo goed zijn, twee boterhammetjes en +twee glaasjes melk te brengen?" + +She stopped titivating herself at the mirror, and turning round groaned +in a voice of horror: "Wou je eten?" + +"Ja," I contrived to put in, as politely as I could; "als U zoo goed +wilt zijn." + +"Maar schaam jullie niet? bent jullie kinderen dat je nouw om een +boterham moet vragen?" + +It was plain she was a good deal ruffled. Accordingly to appease and +conciliate her I smiled again, and said deferentially: "Het heeft niets +te beduiden. Wij moeten een heel klein boterhammetje gebruiken. Een +sneedje brood zonder iets--dat is ook goed." + +She seemed stunned by this harmless announcement; and I deemed it +prudent to offer her a bribe of some kind. The simplest plan was to +promise to pay her well for any trifle we took. + +"Het is een kleinigheid," I told her--"niets dan een kleinigheid. Maar +ik zal het je betaald zetten." + +That loosened her tongue. Her natural fluency asserted itself and +appeared to fine advantage. But she was so needlessly excited that I +knew there must be a misunderstanding somewhere. Accordingly to remove +all haziness I just indicated that she had failed to grasp my meaning. +The idiom for this I fortunately recollected. _You don't quite follow_ +was one of those choice specimens of local colour that, by frequent +repetition, I had thoroughly imprinted on my memory. + +"Duizendmaal verschooning," I said heartily, "bent U soms niet goed +snik?" + +The effect of this well meant apology was electrical. The woman really +became very rude. She got pale and grabbed at a chair. As we withdrew +unostentatiously, we noticed her springing in our direction and talking. +It was the most fluent talk I had yet heard in Dutch. She did not +hesitate one instant for gender, number, or case. It rained, hailed and +stormed terrible words--werkwoorden, voorzetsels, and especially +tusschenwerpsels. + +Terence and I ran. + +On reaching safety outside Terence asked me: "What was she angry about?" + +"Oh," I answered, "as likely as not it's something out of the grammar. I +believe I didn't use the right idiom. You have to be very particular +about these things, you see. + +I said vragen _voor_ een boterham, I think; and it should be vragen +_om_. Still she made far too big a fuss over it: and I'd tell her so, if +I could." + +When we got outside of her garden plot and had latched the gate behind +us, I turned to wave our grammarian a graceful adieu. + +"Baker!" I said. "Banket baker! Wees niet zoo kleinzeerig. Niet zoo +kwaalijknemend hoor! Wij zijn niet tegen je opgewassen. Maar",--and +here I sank my voice to a confidential whisper, to make the irrelevancy +sound as like wit as possible,--"maar, U weet nooit hoe een koe een +haas vangt!" + +I still flatter myself that the exit was worthy of the occasion. + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +THE DEVOTED NURSE. + +AN ACCIDENT.--THE SUITOR'S MISTAKE.--NO DUTCH NEEDED.--JAN'S +INCOHERENCES.--EEN STUK OF EEN.--KITTY GIVES KOPJES.--A QUIET SLEEP. + + +"Wel," continued Jack; "it was these experiences that made me begin to +doubt the value of my Berlitz soliloquy-method. But Terence helped me +to give the system a really good trial; and he worked as hard as I did. + +It was quite different with Kathleen. When she came back from Germany, +she was keen on art, but apparently had been moping about something. +And she refused to study any more Dutch. + +That was before the accident, you see. After that, she was quite angelic +and nursed her father assiduously, and the landlady's little son, too. + +You know, of course, that uncle got a severe shock from a motor-bike +along the canal. Jan who had been prowling around, to give his "chat" +an airing, ran across just in time to push the absent-minded old +gentleman out of the way. But the lad was thrown on the ground and +badly hurt. Uncle pulled round soon enough--his indignation at the +motor cyclist helped him, as he had some vague idea, if he were up and +about, he could get the culprit arrested. But Jan grew steadily worse +for the first week. The violent fall and the bruise were both very bad +for the plucky youngster. + +Kathleen kept going back and forward, looking after the sufferers. She +said she never could repay Jan enough for saving her father's life. It +appears to have been a 'close shave', at the edge of that deep canal; +and Uncle nearly had them all in. + +As a matter of fact, he had spent the morning with me, telling me about +his grand 'find' of original Celtic manuscripts in Germany, and about +van Leeuwen's kindness. I never saw him so taken with anybody! In Bonn +he had got wind of these precious Celtic relics; and, as everything +was closed at the University at that time of the year, he worried +and fumed, till he met some of the authorities that knew van Leeuwen. +Immediately he had banged off a telegram to Arnhem, requesting van +Leeuwen's private influence; and, to his delight, that young man came +joyfully in person. Of course he would! It was too good a chance to be +missed. Indeed it was just the opportunity he wanted. And yet he and +Kathleen quarrelled fiercely over trifles all the time. + +But I was telling you about my uncle's escape. It seems he was ambling +along in his usual oblivious style, on the sunny side of the street, +when he stopped (no doubt painfully near the edge of the canal) to +note down something that occurred to him for his book. Just then a +motor-cycle turned the corner at a fiendish speed, and was nearly over +him. Uncle is the most helpless of mortals at such times--and he was +stepping hurriedly into the canal, when Jan bounded across the road +and pulled him right. + +The bike-tourist must have been a heartless fellow; for he never +swerved, but bore down at full tilt on both rescuer and rescued, while +they were still on the edge of the water. + +The youthful Jan, however, is both original and daring; for he turned +the motor man aside as cleverly as if he had Boyton in his hand. + +He either flung himself or his cap against the advancing horror. +Terence says it was the kitten he threw. In any case the little fellow +did, as a last resource, try to protect both his dear kitty and the +Engelschen Mijnheer, at some risk to himself. The "chat" was unharmed, +but fled up an adjacent elm, whence it had to be coaxed down at dusk +with endless saucerfuls of milk. + +This task Kathleen took on herself, after we discovered that Dr. +MacNamara, though shaken, was not injured. Nothing would have pleased +you better than to have seen her beaming face as she brought the +trembling little kitty to Jan's bedside. She didn't know a word of +Dutch; but managed to communicate quite easily, by signs, with Jan's +mother, whom she promised to come often and see. + +We all assumed, at first, that the little fellow had escaped scot-free; +but, in a day or two, he was in high fever, and unconscious. He had got +a contusion, the doctor said, and would be confined to his cot for +weeks. + +It was marvellous to see how Kathleen comforted the poor mother, +without either grammar, Polite Dialogue, or the use of Het. + +I grew quite jealous and envious. Here was I who had been slaving at +syntax and accidence for weeks, and I couldn't carry on an intelligent +conversation for two minutes without deviating into metaphysics, or +getting into a quarrel; while my cousin (who said she hated Dutch) +could get through the niceties of sick-room nursing, and the subtleties +of heartening up the poor hysterical mother, with the utmost ease and +success. + +And I knew for certain that she couldn't go through the Present +Optative of 'ik graauw, ik kef en ik kweel', or give one of the rules +for gij (lieden)--no, not to save her life. But she was never at a +loss, for all that. A more devoted nurse, indeed, I cannot imagine. + +At the crisis, when the little sufferer was really in danger, she used +to watch by him hours at a stretch, to relieve the helpless mother. + +The serious turn came all at once; and no aid was at hand. Jan was in +pain, and wandered in his talk, crying out that the motor-fiets was +hunting him into the canal, for having rescued a +vreemdeling+; and +pouring forth such a torrent of elementary English and Boyton-Dutch as +surprised us all. + +I fancy it was, in part, my early translations he had treasured up; for +some of my mistakes about handcuffs and dogcollars figured amid the +incoherences; and it was pitiable to hear him plead for a +zie beneden+ +to wrap round his injured arm--already bandaged as tightly as he could +bear it. + +Then he kept ringing the changes on an expression I must have used in +argument with his mother the day I persuaded her to keep his bedraggled +foundling. + +"Het is geen menigte poesjes, zegt Mijnheer; het is maar een stuk of +een. Heus, moe, laat hem blijven. Niet bang, hoor, schattie, je bent +maar een stuk of een! Pas op, Mijnheer, daar komt de fiets!" And so on ++da capo+. + +So wild and restless was he, the second evening of the fever, that we +had to summon the doctor unexpectedly, quite late. + +Yes; his condition was disquieting, and we must get him to sleep. It +was largely a matter of nursing, at the moment; new medicine was sent +for; his head was to be kept cool; and only one watcher was to remain +in the room. Above all, no noise. If the English juffrouw, who seemed +to understand the lad's state, would consent to sit up to two or three +o'clock, so much the better. The excited mother could have a rest +meantime. Otherwise she would be fit for nothing next day. + +But no sooner had the good doctor softly closed the front door, than my +landlady declared it was her intention to watch all night. + +Kathleen was at her wits' end. In vain did she make signs and talk +emphatic English in her high voice, or try coaxing with a bit of the +brogue. All her feminine free-masonry failed to communicate the +faintest idea to the mother. + +Uncle MacNamara, who had been waiting to take his daughter back to the +Doelen, tried moral suasion in his own particular brand of German, and +even in other tongues.--Terence says his father recited a well-known +passage from the Iliad in his eagerness to be persuasive!--But all +without avail. She wouldn't heed anybody; and she wouldn't go; she sat +close to the cot, rocking violently to and fro, and moaning "Mijn eigen +kind! mijn eigen kind!" + +The little fevered face was puckered with a new perplexity at the sound +of all this grief and the familiar voice. + +"Moeder," he cried, "moederr! Daar komt ie weer! Hij wou me in 't water +gooien. Moeder, vasthoue, hoor!" + +It was most painful; for my landlady's impending hysterics were making +the lad worse every moment. + +"Is poesje ook weggeloopen?" he said presently. A happy thought struck +Kathleen. She stole downstairs, and presently returned with the 'chat', +which was purring vigorously and giving 'kopjes'. + +As she placed the soft furry creature in Jan's hands, he stopped +moaning and stroked it joyfully. "Dag, Kitty!" he said with delight. +"Ben je terug?" + +Apparently he thought it was I who had restored the wanderer, for he +explained: "Geen praatje, mijnheer: Zat is mine naiz litle chat." + +Then, exhausted and satisfied, he dropped into a sound sleep. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +GOSSIP AND DIPLOMACY. + +THE DISCOURAGED SUITOR.--WILL KATHLEEN STUDY DUTCH?--AN INTERESTING +COACH.--THE DIPLOMATIC EPISTLE.--THE BRINK OF A ROMANCE.--WELL EARNED +REPOSE. + + +The strain was over; and the little lad slumbered peacefully,--until +dawn, as it proved. We got the mother gradually quieted, and at last +induced to go off to bed, leaving Kathleen in charge for the night. +About half-past-one, Terence and I, growing hungry, extemporised a sort +of pic-nic in the kitchen; but Kathleen wouldn't touch anything we +brought her. + +It was then I began to notice how grave she was, and silent. + +But I must say, nobody could be more devoted than she was to the +youthful invalid. + +He awoke rather early after his timely sleep, but much calmer. And--a +good sign--he had a healthy 'trek', which we were gratified to see in +operation upon 'beschuit' and 'melk', before his mother arrived to +resume the reins of authority. + +As we escorted Kathleen to her hotel in the cool of the morning, we +found her singularly irresponsive, not to say depressed; and I somehow +got wind of the fact that van Leeuwen, who had motored up to the Hague, +on hearing of her father's accident, had been prowling about the Vieux +Doelen ever since. He had visited Dr. MacNamara almost every day; but +Kathleen had kept studiously aloof. + +"I know he likes father," she said, "and I'm glad he came so often to +see him. Not very interesting, otherwise! In any case he has suddenly +vanished into space!" + +The evening before, when she was on her way to my landlady's to watch by +the sick boy, van Leeuwen had met her right in front of the Mauritshuis. +But she had treated him with such stately indifference, and greeted his +remarks with such frigid courtesy, that the good-natured fellow was +really hurt. He had in fact returned the same evening to Arnhem. + +Kathleen said she was very glad, except for her father's sake. But she +didn't give one the impression of being enthusiastic about it, and I +drew my own conclusions. + +On reaching the Doelen, we found a hasty scrawl from the very man we +had been talking of--van Leeuwen--inviting Terence and myself to a +cycling tour in his neighbourhood. + +"Well, then, I'll go next Friday," Terence broke out; "at least, if +you're ready then, Jack. We'll have a grand time. Dad is all right now; +and that funny little kid is on the mend. So we can go with a clear +conscience. Say, yes." + +"Ah, that's like you boys", said Kathleen banteringly, but without the +ghost of a smile, "to go cycling about, enjoying yourselves, no matter +what happens to others! I'm still anxious about that child. And I do +wish I understood him better when he talks." + +"As for that", I interrupted, "I'll give you the key to it, in an +instant. Jan's reminiscences are all about my Dutch. Well, I'll lend +you my diary, and the most entertaining Grammar in Holland. Besides, +I've written a monograph on obvious blunders, English into Dutch. Read +these, now, when you're tending this convalescent boy-hero of yours. +He'll understand them, I'll be bound; and it'll shake him up, and do +you a world of good yourself." + +"What a silly cousin, to be sure!" she replied. "You forget, sir, I +need some one to explain all your double-Dutch. Get me a 'coach' now, +a competent one, who knows everything, and I'll give your booklet a +trial." + +"Done!" I said, as we parted. + +And I held her to it. My diary kept her amused for a couple of days, as +she watched in the sick-room. It roused her out of her depression, and +she got into the way of reading things to Jan as he recovered. + +She couldn't remain quite smileless; but grew interested enough in +Dutch to demand my monograph and--above all--the Grammar! + +"You shall have them both," I assured her,--"the booklet on the spot; +and the Grammar, when I get as far as Arnhem and don't need to use it +for a while." + +"Couldn't I have it sooner? I'm dying with curiosity to see that awful +book. Or, when you are there, and any of your friends are coming to the +Hague, just send it with them." + +"Yes. There's a 'coach' coming up in a day or two. I'll send it along." + +I fancied her eyes gave a bit of a flicker. But she was meek and +friendly: so I knew it was all right. She hadn't asked what kind of +coach. But she's intelligent. + +That very instant I went home and wrote van Leeuwen that we--Terence +and I--were starting next day, by train, for Arnhem, whence we should +have a run through Gelderland. + +There was no note-paper in the house, but I couldn't wait. So I a +penned what I had to say on a series of visiting cards,--numbering +them: 1, 2, 3 up to 10, and enclosing them in a portly yellow envelope. +It was the only thing I had. I was pleased to notice its impressive +aspect, as that would prevent its getting lost readily. + +For I attached much importance to that communication. + +In it I prepared van Leeuwen's mind, indirectly and circuitously, for +apprehending the idea that Miss MacNamara was now deeply interested in +Dutch; and was studying it to help her in nursing that sick boy. Also +that, as she had grown much too sombre of late with the responsibilities +she had assumed, we were trying to brighten her up. When the lad was +quite well, we should all do the Friesland meres, before we returned +to Kilkenny. But not for a while yet. + +And so on. I hinted as distantly as I could, that he had motored back to +Arnhem a trifle too soon. We were _all_ sorry he had left so suddenly. +Even yet, if he would leave his camera at home--the one with the loud +click--and if he wouldn't be too exclusively immersed in Celtic +manuscripts, and avoided arguing about the Suffragettes, when he did +meet with the MacNamara family, there was no reason to suppose that his +offences were beyond pardon. All this in shadowy outline--for fear he +would motor up like a Fury, and either break his neck on the way, or +spoil everything by premature action. + +I made the haze quite thick, here and there, on the visiting +cards--their form lent itself to obscurity--and I told him I should +see him without fail within twenty-four hours. + +"I might have to ask a favour at his hands about a grammar. + +Terence was well: the Doctor was well, went to Leyden daily to the +Library. We expected to reach Velperweg toward midday. Don't be out." + +I posted the yellow missive with my own hands, and reckoned out by the +'bus-lichting' plate, that it would be collected that night. + +"Tour or no tour, to-morrow," I said to myself, heaving a sigh of +relief, after my race to the pillar-box; "We're on the brink of a +romance, if the protagonists only knew it. A little bad Dutch now seems +all that is required. And we can rely on Boyton." + +Queer, when you think of it, that you sometimes hold people's destinies +in the hollow of your hand! + +However, I didn't philosophise much, but got to sleep as soon as ever I +could,--content as from a good day's work. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +A STUDY IN CHARACTER. + +AN UNWELCOME INTERRUPTION.--THE LINGUIST AND THE SATELLITE.--THE +BACKSLIDER.--DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?--HE MEANS THE EAST END.--WAKE UP, +JOHN BULL.--GOUDA HISTORICAL.--FOREIGNERS DON'T GET THE HANG OF IT.--A +CONFIDENT YOUNGSTER.--AN ENGLISH UNCLE FOR CLAAS.--DRAM-DRINKING AT +EIGHT?--WUIF ES, OOM!--HIS BARK IS WORSE THAN HIS BITE. + + +Next morning we were up at dawn to be in time for the first express. We +cycled to the station; but a row of market-boats, that had reached the +one and only canal-bridge on our route, kept us waiting till they filed +past; and we missed our train. + +"Choost kon!" exclaimed a porter cheerfully, as he took our cycles. +"Day-train choost away--von--two--meenit--ako!" + +"Never mind", I rejoined. "There are plenty of day-trains left. It's +early yet." + +As he looked doubtful, I added in the vernacular: "Wij zijn in goeje +tijd voor den bommel; nie-waar? Zes vier en veertig." + +"Net, mijnheer", he replied, grinning appreciation of my Dutch, as he +led the way to the +loket+. + +There were no difficulties there. You merely had to say. "Twee enkele +reis, Arnhem. Tweede klasse. Gewone biljetten," and there you were. And +these '+gewone biljetten+' made the forwarding of the cycles simplicity +itself. + +Duly provided with the forthcoming +fiets-papiertjes+ we ensconced +ourselves in a non-smoker, and--to while away the time--rehearsed our +Traveller's Dialogue. That is the system I had made out long since, but +now partly forgotten. Terence had benefited by my tuition, and could +now keep the ball rolling, with more or less relevant remarks, whilst +I enumerated the parts of a train, and talked about tickets and towns. + +So smoothly did our conversation run that we were tempted to repeat +it with variations; and we were just in the middle of as fine an +elocutionary practice as ever you heard, when there was a scramble on +the platform; and in there bounded into our compartment--just as the +train began to move off--three tourists, hot and breathless! + +They were Englishmen,--London shopkeepers in a small way, I guessed, +from their talk. Two of them, father and son, seemed a bit hectoring +and dictatorial; the third was an admiring satellite. For very shame's +sake Terence and I didn't like to drop our Dialogue as if we were +culprits; so we lowered our voices, and went through it to the bitter +end. + +Our new companions listened for a moment, and the truculent father said, +"Neouw, there y'are, Tom! wot's hall that tork abeout? You kneouw the +lingo." + +Master Tom--he was about nineteen--posed, apparently, as a linguist. He +knew the language all right, he said. "It was kind of debased German. +He had picked it up from a boy at school. It was the sime to 'im as +Hinglish." + +"Wottaw thiy siyin, Tom?" said the father. + +"Oh," muttered Tom, "abeout the kaind 'v dai it is, an', hall thet +rot. But no use listenin' to them. They tork such a bad patois, an' +hungrimmentikil." + +The satellite looked impressed. "D'ye tork 't 's wull 's French an' +Juh'man?" he asked. + +"Hall the sime to me", said Tom. "The sime 'z Hinglish." + +The satellite's awe deepened. Presently, however, he spied the cattle +in the fields as we sped along. He pointed them out to Tom. "Fine +ceouws, miy wu'd!" + +"Humph! better in Bu'kshire!" replied the linguist. + +In a minute or two he broke out again: "Lot 'v ceouws in a field here, +Tom!" + +"Faugh!" said Tom; "faw mo' 'n Essex!" + +But the man of humility had an eye for landscape, and couldn't be +repressed. + +"Ho, crikkie", he exclaimed, "look at that meadow an' canal. Ain't it +stunnin'?" + +But the father came to his son's rescue in defence of Old England. +"Yeou jist go deouwn Nawf'k wiy! Faw better th'n this wretched 'ole!" + +The satellite evidently felt reproved for his lack of patriotism, for +he subsided immediately. But he couldn't help himself. You might see +by the way he looked out of the window that he was in ecstasies over +the glowing panorama before him, in spite of Norfolk and Essex and the +contempt of his fellow-travellers. + +Meantime Terence, fuming and in disgust, had buried himself in the +columns of Tit-Bits. The truculent one recognised the familiar weekly, +and drawing his son's attention to both reader and paper he announced +quite audibly; "'E can read Hinglish. 'E looks hintelligent." + +Advancing half way across the carriage, he cleared his throat, and +addressed Terence at the top of his voice. + +"Do you--a hem!--a hem!--do you--_speak Hinglish?_" + +One could have heard the last two words in the next compartment. + +Terence looked up; and I saw by the twinkle in his eye what he was +going to do. + +"Hein?" he interrogated with a nasal whoop like a subdued trumpet. He +had learnt this at school from his French teacher and was a profiscient +at rendering it accurately. It gave an unconventional flavour to his +manner--which was just what he wished. + +"Hein?" he trumpeted again, with an air of amiable curiosity. + +"I hawskt--do you--hem!--_speak_--_Hinglish?_" + +"Ze Engels Langwitch? Yes: I shpeak him--von leetle bit. You alzóo?" + +"Hi 'm 'n Englishman," said the truculent one proudly, a trifle taken +aback. + +"Zoo?" replied Terence. "Ach zoo. Ja. Jawohl. Zoo gaat 't. +Beauti-ful--lang-witch! Beauti--ful!" he enunciated with painful +distinctness and many twitches of his face. + +All this fell in with the tourists' preconceived ideas of foreign +utterance. They exchanged glances. + +"You kin mike yors'ff hunderstood, hall raight," interposed the +linguist. "Were you ever in London." + +"Oh, yes," answered my cousin slowly, counting off upon his fingers. +"Alzoo--von--two--tree--time--Mooch peoples--in Londe." + +"Did you like London?" queried Truculence Senior. + +"Londe?--No! No--boddy like Londe.--Fery ugly! Mooch smoke--alzoo +fogk.--Men see nozzing. Mooch poor peoples--No boots." + +"Not like London!! Why London's the gritest city in the wu'ld." + +"I pity me mooch--for London peoples." + +"Let'm aleoun, gov'ner," said the linguist, furious. "It's the Heast +End 'e's got in 'is 'ed." + +"But the Heouses 'v Pawl'mint--and the Tride?" reasoned the father, +reluctant to abandon the controversy. + +"Houses Parliament?--nozzing!" said Terence recklessly. "Trade?--alzoo +nozzing! American man hef all ze trade. Fery clever. Alzoo German man. +Fery clever." + +That was a clincher. Terence had amply avenged their contempt of the +scenery they were passing through. + +"Let the bloomin' ass aleoun", cried Truculence junior. "'E deoun't +kneouw wot 'e's torkin' abeout." + +But the shot had gone home. The papers had been full of "Wake up, John +Bull!" of late, and he felt uncomfortable. Yet though we relapsed into +silence, it wasn't for long. For soon the senior member of the trio +got very exasperated with a local railway-guide that he had been +consulting. "Bit of a muddle that!" he cried contemptuously, flinging +the booklet on the seat. "Cawn't mike 'ed or tile of it!" + +He turned to my cousin: "Can you tell me 'ow far it is to Gooday--or +Goodee?" + +Terence replied briskly in appalling English: "Goodee--I know-not. Zat +iss nozzing. Good-day, zat is Goejen-dag!" + +"Look 'ere," said the tourist; "'Ere you aw!" pointing to the name of +the place on his Cook's ticket. + +"Oh," said Terence, getting so foreign as to be scarcely intelligible. +"Zat-iss--Gouda. Beaut-ti-ful city!" And he rolled his eyes in +apparent awe at the magnificence of that unpretentious market-town. +"Ex-qui-seet!" + +"Ow far is it?" queried his interlocutor. "Ow long, in the trine--to +Gouda?" + +"Alzoo," returned my cousin, purposely misunderstanding him. "Yes; ferry +long. Long times. Ferry old ceety. Much years. Tree--four--century! +Historique!" + +"Yes, yes," said the impatient traveller. "But--wen--d'we--arrive? get +there--you kneouw--?" + +"You vil arrivé," pronounced Terence in the same baby-English, +"haff--of--ze--klok." + +"Hawf 'n eour; that wot 'e's drivin' et," grumbled the Linguist. + +They kept on asking questions and criticising us to our faces, when +they talked together. Our dress, our appearance, our complexions were +all adjudged to be woefully foreign; and they got so patronising that +I had to put in an odd word, in real English, to Terence, now and again, +just to prevent them going too far. Imperceptibly conversation became +general; and as I forced Terence out of his assumed ignorance of +English, the surprise of the tourists deepened into dismay, for they +noticed we were talking more and more quickly, and idiomatically as +well. + +"Hi siy!" whispered the satellite, "they're learnin' Hinglish from hus! +I'm blest hif thiy weount soon be nearly 's good 's we are!" + +"Never you fear," said young Conceit. "Furriners never git the 'ang of +it." + +"Never," corroborated Truculence. + +But the open criticising of our appearance was at an end. + +Our companions looked anything but conciliatory when a crowd of rustics +poured into the carriage at one of the stations. It was some sort of +market at Gouda; and the bommel was crammed now. Finally the guard +scurried along, and half hoisted, half pushed a peasant woman with her +three children into the compartment. + +It was odd to see Truculence rise and help the little ones in; and +odder still to see the children smile up into that formidable face, +when they took their seats. + +I noticed the twinkle in his eye, however, as he watched the bairnies +trying to scramble to the window. He was evidently much interested in +a bright little boy of seven with dreamy eyes, who was bent on amusing +himself; and I could see that he wanted badly to shake hands with +him and his tot of a sister, and ask them their names. He evidently +regretted his inability to speak Dutch; but he made up for his silence +by reaching the boy the window-strap, with a nod of comradeship. The +little fellow took it eagerly and, after playing with it a moment or +two, slid off his seat and actually climbed up beside Truculence (the +scorner of everything non-British) and pushing Truculence to one side, +looked out of Truculence's window. + +So surprisingly passive was my severe compatriot at all this that I +hazarded a guess, and said: "You have a boy of five at home?" + +He stopped short clearing the pane for his tiny companion, and sat +stock-still. It might have been a statue that was beside me so little +did he move. Not a sound in answer to my question! + +Quickly I glanced at him. + +Oh, I could have bitten off my tongue when I saw that man's face! It +was drawn and white, and not at all like the scornful censor's of a +few minutes before. + +He continued staring out of the window a moment; then he turned and +said quietly: "I 'ad--a little fair haired fellow--a year ago..... +'E was six.... An' the born image of thet kiddie there." + +Here he stroked the kiddie's head, which was now glued to the glass in +an eager endeavour to see a passing train. + +"'E used to be that fond of machinery, too," he continued, opening a +city bag and bringing out a diminutive flying-machine, a "twee-dekker" +that he had evidently bought in the Hague. "I got it, 'cos it minded me +of the things my boy used to pliy with. But I've nobody to give it to. + +May I as well give it to this kid. Tell 'is mother 'e's to keep it. +Tell 'er that I'm 's +hold uncle from Hingland+." + +I did my best. Claas grasped the situation at once, as far as the +twee-dekker was concerned. The mother was slower. Consternation and +politeness took away her speech for an instant, but she soon recovered +and put Claas through his drill. + +"Oh mijnheer, hij is zoo bij de hand!" + +Then she overwhelmed us all with family reminiscences, which none of us +understood a word of, but which could not be stopped. It was a relief +to get to Gouda; and the tension of our feelings was pleasantly relaxed +by observing the profound disgust that mantled the Londoner's brow, +when after helping the children on to the platform, he was accosted by +a vendor of local dainties, who loudly insisted on selling Goudsche +Sprits to the company. "'Ere's a Johnny wants the kiddies an'all of us +to liquor up--on neat spirits--before hight o'clock in the mo'nin'! +Shime, I call it." + +Claas had to say 'Good-bye' to his new uncle, and we watched proceedings +from our window. The Linguist ignored the adieu completely; but the +Satellite manfully backed up the father, and shook hands all round. A +knot of porters gathered to seize the luggage of the big Englishman, +who stood, masterful and bored, in the midst of the hubbub. His jaw and +chin were those of Rhadamanthus; but his eyes were soft as they rested +on the boyish figure descending the stairs with his baby-sister. +Claas was waving a small hand to his new uncle who had given him the +Twee-dekker; but his new uncle was not waving anything to him. So +Claas stopped short, and cried at the top of his voice: "Wuif es oom! +wui--uif es, nouw! Je moet wuife!" + +"Wot's 'e up to, the young rescal?" he asked me. + +"I believe he wants you to make a sign of goodbye. It's always done +here," I replied. + +Well, he produced, from some place or other, a brilliant jubilee +handkerchief--he was a dressy man and had plenty of coloured things--and +shook it with both hands to his tiny friend. And the last I saw of him, +as the train steamed on towards Utrecht, was, his waving of this silk +banner to the little boy on the steps; the stern lips were relaxed into +a smile; the defiant face was quite wistful as he repeated: "The young +rescal!" + +Here the Goudsche sprits seller, in his tour up and down the platform, +approached the burly Londoner again, and seeing him now in an +unexpectedly melting mood, at once proffered his delicacies with noisy +persistence. + +"Goudsche sprits! Goudsche sprits! Sir," he bawled in the Englishman's +face, holding out a packet. + +Truculence was quite glad of the interruption. He blew his nose +violently on his marvellous handkerchief, and turned upon the local +merchant with a glare of indignation. + +"Get along! How dare you? D'ye take me for a drunkard?" + +"Formidable customer that!" whispered Terence at my elbow. "Still I +think his bark is worse than his bite." + +"Not a doubt of it," I replied. "And there are more of his kind." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +BELET! + +WELKE MIJNHEER?--AN AANSLAGBILJET.--A MYSTERIOUS OBSTACLE.--WIJ KRIJGEN +BELET.--IS MIJNHEER GEENGAGEERD?--EEN SPOEDIGE RESTAURATIE. + + +We got on famously at Utrecht and at the Arnhem station. In less time +than it takes to tell it we were mounted on our cycles with our bags in +front of us, and ready for the road. + +"This is fine!" exclaimed Terence. And indeed it was. Charmed by the +ease with which we had got along so safely, I felt a trifle elated over +our linguistic victories, and had already begun to dream of fresh fields +to conquer, when we drew near van Leeuwen's villa on the Velperweg--a +lovely spot. + +We dismounted to make sure we were right, and then walked briskly up +the avenue. + +The door was opened by a timid-looking servant, who said: "Er is +belet." + +It was the first time I had met the expression; yet it sounded oddly +familiar. Ah, of course. For the last ten days I had been studying +_biljetten_ out of the railway-guide. There was apparently a slight +provincialism in her way of the rendering the liquid in the middle of +the word, but this didn't matter. +There was a ticket+, then. Puzzling, +very. + +"Ja?" I said tentatively. + +"Er is belet," she repeated. The intonation was decisive; but as +her manner was expectant, I took it for a question, had we tickets? +Queer, certainly. Yes; I assured her we had,--"gewone biljetten, +retour,--geldig voor éen dag." + +She shifted her ground and said, "_Mijnheer heeft belet._" + +Now you know how hard it is to be sure what person servants are talking +about when they say Mijnheer. Did she mean me or her master? "Welke +Mijnheer?" I asked. "Ben ik mijnheer, of is Mijnheer mijnheer?" + +Raising her voice she announced deliberately, but with increasing +irritation: "_Mijnheer van Leeuwen--heeft--belet._" + +"Aha", I whispered to Terence, "It's my big letter she's talking about. +Well, I'm glad it came in time". + +"Uitstekend!" I hastened to say. "Dat biljet is van mij. Dus mijnheer +verwacht mij, niet waar?" + +She nervously closed the door a bit. "Ik heb al gezaid--vanmorgen heeft +mijnheer _expres belet gegeven_." + +"Mag ik het hebben, dan", I enquired politely; "Mijn brief--dat +geschreven biljet?" + +"Hé?" she said, visibly relieved, opening the door widely as she spoke. +"Neem mij niet kwalijk, Mijnheer. Ik wist niet dat u van de belasting +was. Komt u om het beschrijvingsbiljet?" + +She retreated a step, timidly, into the hall, and glanced at an elderly +butler, who in silence had been standing at a discreet distance +listening to our colloquy. The butler moved forward, and in an +apologetic tone murmured, "Mijnheer, het beschrijvingsbiljet is nog niet +klaar. Of komt u met een aanslagbiljet?" + +As I had a newspaper in my hand full of talk about a 'moordaanslag' I +repudiated the latter idea indignantly. "Geen denken aan!" I said. + +The butler came out and stood on the steps, enquiring "Is U soms een +schatter." + +Schatter? (Schat, a treasure; schatter, a _treasurer_. I reasoned.) +"Wel nee: geen schatter ben ik, alleen Eerlijk Secretaris van de +Studenten-Club". + +In the hall a loopmeisje and a seamstress stood transfixed with +curiosity. How could I get this mad interview terminated? + +The deferential butler began to grow suspicious. + +"Komt U niet van de belasting?" + +"Ik weet het niet," I replied. + +That was enough. + +"Mijnheer geeft belet altijd 's morgens," he said, adding, evidently +with reference to my eerlijk secretaris. "Wij zijn allemaal eerlijk +hier!" + +We appeared to be dismissed! + +"Terence," I said quickly; "Look if b-e-l-e-t is in the dictionary. +They always hark back to that." + +In a minute he gave a mild shout: "It's here; it means _hindrance_. Ah, +I see. Van Leeuwen is hindered seeing us. Hadn't we better go?" + +"De belet is niet erg, hoop ik?" I said to the servant; "ik hoop dat +Mijnheer spoedig beter zal worden, als het een ziekte is." + +Now at last we had mastered the mysteries of belet? No such thing! + +Turning to go, I thought I might as well enquire when van Leeuwen could +be seen. "Wanneer kan ik soms Mijnheer zien?" Her reply confounded me: +"Vandaag of morgen, maar U moet +belet vragen+." + +Vragen! surely not ask for an obstacle. "U bedoelt +weigeren+, niet +waar?" I suggested. + +"Nee: belet vragen, anders zal mijnheer u niet ontvangen." + +"Oh Terence!" I exclaimed. "This is too awful! +He+ has this obstacle; +he has given it to us; now +we+ must +ask it again+. And I don't even +know what it is!" + +"Take care, Jack. Don't ask anything else, or you'll get us into a +worse mess." + +"One moment," I said, appealing to the stolid butler. "Moet ik +verzoeken om weggestuurd te worden? Of wat?" + +"Ja Mijnheer, ik verzoek jullie maar weg te gaan. Alstublieft!" + +The solemn man looked like an archbishop. He cleared his throat and +added courteously: "Maar, als U Mijnheer van Leeuwen wil spreken, moet +U belet +laten vragen+. Anders +krijgt+ U belet als U komt." + +"Schei uit!" I cried in dismay. "Terence, let us fly! for my brain +won't stand it." + +"No, no!" he interposed hastily. "Don't be silly or hysterical, now. +Look here. I've been working the thing out in my head and think I can +see some sense in it. Perhaps it's all very simple. Van Leeuwen may be +only occupied for the moment, and so can see us if we wait. Just ask if +they mean that he's merely engaged. He mayn't be sick at all. There's +the word for _engaged_." + +And he reached me the dictionary with this thumb opposite: +_geengageerd_, _verpanden_, _verloofd_. + +Yes, I thought. There was wisdom in his calm suggestion, though really +I was sick making these curious enquiries. But it seemed plain sailing +now. So with an ingratiating smile I just asked in a matter of fact +sort of way: "Mijnheer is soms geengageerd? Is het wel?" + +"Verloofd?" I added taking the next word, as there was no manner of +response forthcoming to the first question. + +"Verpanden?" whispered Terence with his eye on the dictionary. + +The company--there were some six of them now clustering round the +butler for protection--retreated hastily into the recesses of the big +hall, and left that majestic man to shut the door. This he did without +delay, saying, somewhat nervously, "Maak dat jullie weg gaat!" + +There was nothing left for us to do but to beat a dignified retreat. + +I made it as dignified as possible by, expressing our best wishes for +van Leeuwen's speedy recovery. + +"Komplimenten aan Mijnheer, hoor; een spoedige restauratie!" + +We cycled off. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +THE DAY-TRAIN. + +LOST IN THE WOOD.--STOPT DE TRAM OP EEN WENK?--PRAKISEERE.--MY DUTCH +BREAKS DOWN.--THE TRAIN THAT NEVER STOPS.--MET HANGENDE POOTJES--RE +INFECTA. + + +We had a delightful spin along the Velperweg. + +Dismounting three or four times to admire choice 'bits' of scenery, we +were enticed on and on, and followed a side way that rose over a gentle +slope. From the ridge of this acclivity we could watch the cloud +shadows, violet and purple, sweeping over wide moors, and by their +subtle contrasts bringing out the soft shimmering of the distant +sunlight. On the horizon we made out the river and some hill-tops +marked on our maps. Terence was confident he saw Nijmegen; but pushing +on to get a still finer view, we came to grief in crossing a heather +"brae". At least I did. The front wheel was wrenched to one side; and +we had to foot it all the way to Velp. There having left both machines +at a cycle-mender's, we started for a long tramp. + +That was a grand mistake, for we went too far. There were other ranges +of wooded hills to be climbed, and the air was exhilarating. The time +passed quickly, so it was late in the afternoon before we knew. Feeling +more or less famished, we ventured on a short cut through the "Onzalige +Bosch"; but soon were hopelessly lost. It was a task to get on the main +road. + +Indeed we took several wrong turnings apparently, for they seemed--it +was hard to get our proper orientation--to bring us back to the same +neighbourhood always. But at last we came to a line of wooded hills, +and discovered a cart track that led us to a real high-way. This +high-way was a magnificent affair with high over-arching trees; and on +it, to our great relief, there were tram-rails! + +Help was near at hand. We put our best foot foremost, so to speak, and +hurried forward looking in the dusk for a _halte_. Perhaps we may have +passed some _halten_, but we didn't notice any; and as we were fagged +out, I was glad to come upon a group of workmen who, I imagined, could +tell me about the tram. The question I wanted to get solved was simple. +Did the tram stop merely at the official _halten_, or would the driver +pull up anywhere he got a passenger? If the bye-laws of this particular +tramway allowed the tram to stop and pick up pedestrians anywhere all +along the line, we were quite safe; we should just sit down on the +roadside and rest. We shouldn't walk another step. + +The men were shovelling away at fallen leaves, so I accosted them in my +friendliest Dutch and said: "Stop de tram overal?" As this was greeted +with the customary "_blief?_" I tried to be more explicit. "Stop de tram +op een wenk of een uitroepteeken? Of stopt hij alleen op de halten?" + +This puzzled them all exceedingly; and one elderly man mopped his brow +with his handkerchief and said, "Ik mot es eve prakiseere." + +With that he stabbed his spade into the sod at his foot and leaned on +the top of it with both arms, his eye fixed the while on me. I didn't +care for the performance, as his stare was discomfitingly steady; but I +allowed him for a while to prakiseere undisturbed. + +Indeed I couldn't even guess what he was trying to do. It looked like +an exercise in philosophic meditation or an attempt to hypnotise me on +the spot, and as he seemed in no hurry to give me the information I +desired, there was nothing for it but ask one of the other road menders. + +Selecting the most intelligent looking of them. I said "Kijk es, baas; +houdt de tram op, op een wuiving van een zakdoek? Of als men teekent met +een paraplu?" + +This second functionary shook his head sadly, and leaned on _his_ spade +in turn, gazing at me as if I had horns. There was a third man--close +at hand--quite a young fellow, halfway across the road where he was +standing as if petrified by my previous conversation. However he wasn't +"prakiseering," so I stepped across to him with the slowly enunciated +query: "Vertel me nou es: wat voor signaal moet ik maken, als ik wensch +op genomen te worden?" + +He was the promptest of the group, for he replied glibly: "Ik weet het +niet. Je mot eve by de Politie gaan vragen." But not a word about the +tram. + +I gave it up. No information could possibly be extracted from these +roadmen. My Dutch had quite broken down, and in disgust, I surrendered +the leading of the expedition wholly to Terence. + +Terence has a theory that he can make his meaning clear by means of +careful and scientific gesticulation. Now he took his innings, while I +watched the proceedings from a comfortable seat by the roadside. + +"They're quite clever at it," he shouted to me. "The tram will be here +in two somethings--I believe two hours--so we may as well move on: it'll +be no use to us, to wait." + +"All right," I said; "your way of it!" And off we started, tired as +we were. We weren't ten minutes on the road till the tram was heard +puffing behind us; and catching sight of a kind of double line in front +of us we bounded towards this spot in hopes there might be a halte +there. There _was_: and the tram waited half an hour at it, and then +went back again the way it had come. We had to walk. Well, at all +events we reached Velp at dark. My cycle was nicely mended, so after +getting some refreshments in an excellent _logement_ and taking a +prolonged and well earned rest, we mounted our bikes and rode straight +to Arnhem. + +So disgusted was I with my ill-success in Dutch that I tackled the +porters in English. An obliging +wit-jas+ asked me if I would have +the day-train. "Rather not," I told him. "There will surely be another +train to-night. It's only nine." + +The first was a bommel, he said, and would do for the fietsen; but he +recommended us to wait for the day-train. + +"What! And stay here all night?" I asked. + +"No," he explained. "Day-trein will be here soon." + +"+How is that?+" said I. "+How+ in the wide world can a +Day-train go +at night+? or is it because it started from Germany by day-light? You +surely don't reckon here by Amerikaansche tijd for the sake of the +tourists?" + +"You not understand," he explained. "We call it day-trein becos' you +pay more--." + +"Well!" I interrupted; "that would be a Pay-train, then! Not Day." + +"No, no," he said excitedly. "Zis trein go kwik!--not stop--+anywheres+!" + +"But if it doesn't stop, how can we get in?" I asked. "Of moet ik ++belet vragen+ voor deze Dag-trein? Geeft de trein belet? You'll need +a special kind of ticket, too--perhaps an aanslagsbiljet?" + +"No, no; only little bewijsje--kwik trein--bring Restoration--becos'--." + +"What? The Restoration! It turns day into night, and brings back +Charles II! Go on, please, I can believe anything now!" + +"Hallo! is this where you are?" sounded gratefully on our ears. It +was van Leeuwen, who had been expecting us all day, after he had heard +about our call, from the indignant butler. He had given up all hope of +seeing us, but we passed him by in the dark, talking and laughing. He +had followed hot-speed to the station--in time to explain the mysteries +of the D-trein. My spirits rose. The world was still ruled by reason. +Of course we went back with our rescuer. That was the original plan, +and I had a grammar to send with him to the Hague. + +As he waited, talking to Terence, I recalled the cycles. The wit-jas +demurred: "De fietsen zijn al weg." + +"Neen, niet waar," I told him. "Onmogelijk, hoor! Geen trein is weg. +Daar zijn de papiertjes ervan. Pak ze: breng de fietsen mee. Ik weiger +je verontschuldigingen. Doe wat ik zeg, ik bid U. En niet terug komen +met hangende pootjes!" + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +SUPPER AT A BOERDERIJ. + +IN THE SHADE OF THE PRIEELTJE.--AN UNPREPARED GUEST.--COWS' +OVERCOATS.--THANK YOU.--ANOTHER CUP.--VOOR DE PRONK.--THINGS ARE DEAR +IN HOLLAND.--AN INNOCENT OBSERVATION.--HALF-ELF.--STARVATION IN THE +MIDST OF PLENTY.--A MOHAMMEDAN.--PROBEER NOUW IS.--OPEN SESAME.--AN +AFFECTIONATE IRISH TERRIER.--GENERAL PRINCIPLES.--A PARTING SALVO. + + +That night, after Terence had retired, I had a confidential talk with +van Leeuwen; and I begged of him, as a great favour, to take the +Grammar to Kathleen, and--if he had time--give her a little coaching in +Dutch. He said he would--to oblige me; and I was pleased to notice that +he started, taking Boyton with him, by the earliest possible train. +This was the six twenty--a notorious bommel which brought him into the +Hague only seventeen minutes earlier than if he had waited for a decent +breakfast. + +Enderby got to Arnhem about noon, and took us 'in tow' for our cycling +tour. We had a glorious week of it in Gelderland under his direction; +but there were no adventures worth speaking of. In ten days we were +back at the Residentie, as 'brown as berries and as gay as larks'. It +is Terence's phrase, and I give it for what it's worth. + +But at all events van Leeuwen was gay enough now. His pedagogic labours +seemed to suit him, and Kathleen was quite herself again. To hear her +laugh now was to imagine that you were back in Kilkenny in the days +before the suffragette question was mooted. + +We were all delighted. Except perhaps Enderby. That youth didn't appear +more than half pleased at the turn things had taken; but he had the +grace to keep out of the way and consoled himself with motoring. One +day--I had only sat down to luncheon--he carried me off for a great run +to the islands south of Rotterdam. But the machine broke down twice +before we reached Dordrecht, and we had to content ourselves with +housing its fragments in a shed, and walking to a _boerderij_ where my +friend was well known. Here, indeed, we were expected to supper; but we +arrived hours before we were due, and _minus_ an automobile. This +necessitated explanations, which Enderby seemed gracefully enough to +make to the family party in the garden. In a shady +prieeltje+ there, +they regaled us with "liemonade"; and I occasioned some consternation by +rising twice to offer my seat to the mother and daughter respectively, +who came in after I had sat down. They wouldn't take the chair I vacated +for them, and appeared to resent my civility. Enderby, too, made me +uncomfortable by touching my foot and saying, _sotto voce_, "Take care +what you're about, O'Neill". + +Baas Willemse was very sympathetic about the mishap to our motor, and +strongly recommended the services of a gifted blacksmith of his +acquaintance. + +Indeed, before we knew, he had a pony harnessed in a sort of hooded +tax-cart, in which he insisted in driving Enderby to this wonderful +mechanic, to have the damaged car put to rights. And off they started. + +It was only then that I realized the situation. Here was I--without +dictionary or phrase-book--left to play the part of intelligent guest, +unaided and unprepared. And that was the first time in my life I was +'spending the evening' in a non-English-speaking home. How would I get +through it? I did hope that the local Vulcan would be quick. + +At first it wasn't so bad. What with remarks about "het prachtige weer" +and "het ongeluk", and what with playing with the children, I got along +quite smoothly for a while. + +I even discoursed a little about the beauty of the afternoon-sunlight +and "het schilderachtige van het zomerlandschap". + +All this was taken in such good part that I went further afield; and +noticing a large number of cattle with odd coverings on their backs, I +ventured on a comparison which I fancied might interest the company. +"In Groot-Brittanje hebben de koeien niet zoo dikwijls overjassen. Mag +ik beleefd vragen: gebeurt dat hier van wege de gezelligheid, of van +wege de gezondheid, of voor het mooi?" + +They were all pleased at this, and gave me a lot of talk about +cows--which didn't make me much the wiser. + +By violent efforts I recalled some of my old choice phrases, and passed +myself somehow. But alas! supper came; and then my real troubles began. + +We all adjourned to a binnen-kamer, where an ample spread awaited us. I +was given the seat of honour. It was a great pity, all agreed, that +Mijnheer Enderby wasn't back: but they thought I might be hungry. Well, +I was--and with reason. Nothing to eat since breakfast! + +"Thee of chocolaat, Mijnheer?" + +"Thee, alstublieft", I said.--And I got it. + +"Krentebroodjes?" + +"Dank U," I answered pleasantly, and reached for one in a leisurely +manner. You don't like to parade your hunger, you know. Well, I hadn't +been prompt enough. A plateful from which I was about to help myself, +was removed. The action surprised me, and I looked for a moment at the +mother, who had withdrawn the dainties so unexpectedly. She looked at +me, slightly ruffled. But no krentebroodjes! + +"Wil mijnheer een broodje met vleesch?" + +"Oh dank U wel," I said, endeavouring to be quicker. That time I nearly +had a slice. But the agile youth, Jaap, who was in charge of the plate, +whipped it away too. + +No broodjes met vleesch for me! It was very queer. + +"Soms een ei?" said the dignified grandmother, in a white cap with gold +ornaments. She presided, and did a great deal of the talking; and I +could make out that she was the widow of a fisherman or shipowner in a +small way, and had once visited Hull. In virtue of having spent a week +there, some forty years before, she was regarded evidently by all the +rest as an authority on English manners and customs and language and +literature. + +"Soms een ei?" she pleaded. "Engelshman like egg." + +Very much, indeed, I thought, if I could only get one--call me English +or Irish or whatever you like. Fain would I have had an egg off that +plate, where she had just put down six or eight, freshly boiled. + +Determined to get one, if politeness would assist me, I smiled and +bowed and smiled again. "Oh, ik dank U duizendmaal. Ik bewijs volkomen +dankbaarheid." + +Stunned apparently by my reply, she hesitated. To encourage her to +extend these edibles a trifle nearer, I said, "Alstublieft. Dank U." +But she only sighed, and laid the plate out of reach, reproachfully. + +No eggs! + +"Truitje," she whispered to her granddaughter; "presenteer de +schuimpjes." + +Truitje didn't say a word, but pushed a schaaltje of these light +refreshments towards me. + +I did secure two; but in a moment they were finished. You see, a +schuimpje doesn't last very long, when you are really hungry. + +Then the mother complained, courteously, of my slender appetite: +"Mijnheer wil niets gebruiken." + +"O ja," I interrupted, "integendeel! Heel graag. Alstublieft." And to +show I meant it, I asked for another cup of tea. "Mag ik beleefdelijk +vragen om een andere kop?" Here I reached cup and saucer towards them. + +That certainly created a diversion. They looked blankly at one another, +till the grandmother--she was very hearty--called out with a cheerful +laugh, "Hé, ja. Dat's waar ook. De Engelsche koppen zijn groot." + +"Truitje," she whispered in an audible aside. "Breng even een Engelsche +kom. Ze staan in de kast." + +"Zie zoo. Mijnheer," she continued to me with a pleasant smile. "Nouw, +Mijnheer wil zeker nog wat thee hebben? Nouw, niet bedanken, hoor." + +"Oh ja," I replied joyfully, "Schiet op--Als'tublieft--dank U. Dank +U--heelemaal!" + +Holding the tea-pot poised in her hand, she looked at me appealingly, +but in doubt. "Wat? heus?" she said. + +What was I to do? + +I looked at her quite as appealingly, and replied. "Ja, heus! Wel +zeker." + +That was decisive. No tea! + +The cup, however, was planted down in front of me, upside down. "Het is +voor de pronk, zeker," said the grandmother. "Engelsche gewoonte--zeer +net." + +But conversation flagged. The silence was painful. You could have heard +a pin drop. My discreet attempt to ask for something had failed, and I +didn't see exactly how I was to improve upon it. + +The mother meantime surveyed my empty plate and empty cup with distinct +disapproval, and put out a feeler: "Mijnheer houdt niet van Hollandsche +kost?" + +'Hollandsch kost', what things +cost+ in Holland--Dutch prices, in +other words? Well, they are rather high sometimes. The remark seemed +somewhat irrelevant, but it was talk, and therefore welcome. Anything +to break that oppressive silence. Eagerly embracing the opportunity of +saying something, I responded with cordiality: "Hollandsche kost? Neen. +Ik houd niet erg ervan. Dat kan U begrijpen. Ze zijn veels te hoog!" + +This well-meant pleasantry was received with such evident disfavour that +I hastened to explain. "Ik bedoel dat vele artikelen zijn kostbaar--of +kostelijk--mijns bedunkens--in Holland--maar van onberispelijke smaak." + +Hardly any response was made to this.--The merest murmur on the part of +the grandmother, that was all. But they all looked at me curiously, +without saying a word. + +Frantically I strove to make an observation in an easy friendly way, +but all my Dutch seemed to have deserted me.--At least all I judged +suitable. + +Fragments of conversation did float through my agonized brain, but none +of them was quite what I needed. + +"Ik graauw, ik kef en kweel" was out of the question. + +Two proverbs suddenly flashed across my mind, and I gripped them +firmly. One was: "Een vogel in de hand is meer waard dan tien in de +lucht," and the tempting parallel offered itself: "Eén broodje in de +hand is meer waard dan tien op een bord." As this aphorism, however, +didn't sound extra civil, I let it pass. + +"Deugd en belooning gaan zelden te samen" was the second proverb; and +on that model I managed, after due cogitation, to construct a nice +harmless phrase. As it expressed what we all knew and could see before +our eyes, I felt safe against contradiction, and I knew it couldn't +hurt anybody. This dictum ran: "Koek en boterham gaan dikwijls te +samen." + +Perhaps it was owing to the suddenness with which I proclaimed this +truth, or to some severity in my manner; but the effect produced on the +company was magical. + +Jaap dropped his fork with a clatter and said, "Gunst!" The mother put +her hand to her chest, whispering. "Zoo'n schrik!" All looked startled +and stopped eating! + +To divert the scrutiny of so many eyes, I manufactured talk on the +first thing that occurred to me, and, reverting to the Dutch prices, +said: "Sommige artikelen in Holland zijn duur. Van morgen heb ik een +plaat bezichtigd--een poes opgerold over een kannetje melk--de zee in +de verte. Prachtig. Maar peper-duur. Tien gulden en een half." + +"Wat zegt mijnheer," asked the grandmother, "van de poes en de peper en +de tien gulden?" + +Assuring her it was merely a 'plaat', but one that was 'erg kostbaar', +I grasped at the analogy of the hours of the day, to do full justice +to the expensiveness of the picture. If ten o'clock and a half works out +at "half-elf-uur," it is not hard to reckon what ten guilders-and-a-half +_ought_ to be; so I gave it with relish: "En, Juffrouw, wat denkt U? +Het kost half-elf-gulden!" + +Jaap looked at his watch and shook his head. Then he shook the watch, +put it back in his pocket and fastened his eyes again on me. + +"Nee, hoor!" exclaimed the mother, who had now begun to help a special +dish; "Nee; zoo laat is het niet. Mijnheer O'Neill, neem een stukje +pudding--toe dan--heel verteerbaar." + +My plate was passed along, and was heaped up liberally. Though I waited +with my thanks as long as I could, I was obliged to intervene when the +plate was piled high enough for any two people. "Nouw, ik bedank!" I +ejaculated, making my best bow. + +But that caused the guillotine to fall once more. With a gesture of +impatience Truitje put away my verteerbaar pudding on a remote +side-table. Not the least chance of getting it! + +I was starving in the midst of plenty! + +As my hosts appeared to be as much impressed with the contrast as I +was, I endeavoured to smooth things over a little, and set them more at +their ease. Making the best of it, with all the careless grace I could +muster I blandly assured them that it didn't matter. "Het geeft +niets--het hindert niet--het komt er niet opaan." + +But they grew huffy and distant--my phrases didn't do much to relieve +the strain--and I was feeling more depressed and famished every minute, +when, to my unspeakable relief, up there came the sound of wheels on +the gravel, and in a moment I heard Enderby's voice talking Dutch +loudly and confidently in the hall. + +The young folks all rushed out to meet him (he is a prime favourite +with them) and there was much whispering and laughing and a long +confabulation before they came back. + +Enderby entered, and greeted the older people merrily: but there was a +quizzical frown upon his brow as he sat down near me. "What's all this +O'Neill?" he whispered. "Are you ill?" + +"I'm as well as could be expected in the circumstances." + +"Circumstances! Why you wouldn't touch the good food they gave you. Not +content with despising their cookery you objected to their tea-cups, +and pretend that religious scruples keep you from eating until after +half-past ten. They think you are some kind of Mohammedan. These kind +people are a little hurt, I fear; and I can see they are greatly +astonished." + +"So am I! I have been as polite as anything, all the time; but though +they offer me plenty of everything, if I attempt to help myself, +whew!--they whisk the dish away. They may be hurt, as you say; but I +can tell you, _I'm starving_. Is there no way to--." + +Our conversation was interrupted by the mother's voice, which broke in +with the cheery question: "Mijnheer Enderby houdt +wel+ van Hollandsche +kost, niet waar?" + +I watched what he would say. + +He used two easy words: "Dat spreekt." + +Busying herself with plates and spoons, the mother continued: "U neemt +een beetje avondeten?" + +"Nouw! Of ik!" said Enderby with enthusiasm--and they brought him +eatables all sorts. + +These dainties caught my eye in spite of myself; and I wondered why +none had been given to me. It was now going on to ten; and I had had +nothing since early breakfast, except a glass of lemonade, a cup of +tea and two small schuimpjes. + +The old lady was observant, and must have detected famine in my eye, +for with a glance at the clock she called softly to Truitje: "Probeer +nouw is." + +To me she said, "Wil Mijnheer nog thee?" + +The secret was mine now, and I didn't hesitate. + +"Of ik!" I replied. + +There was a scream of delight from all quarters! My kom was turned +right-side up and filled to the brim with fresh warm tea. I was the +centre of interest at once. Cupboards flew open on all sides, like +pistol-shots, and everybody was waiting to help me. It was who would +give me most. + +"Ham en een broodje?" + +"Of ik!" + +"Rookvleesch--en een ei?" + +"Of ik!" + +The seven lean years were past, now the time of plenty was come. + +"Bitterkoekjes en leverworst?"--"Muisjes en karnemelk?"--"Appelbolletjes, +wentelteefjes en molsla?"--I refused nothing. + +"Of ik" was the "Open Sesame"--the key to unlock all cupboards and all +hearts. + +I took care to thank nobody for anything, for fear my plate would be +removed. Happy laughter was heard on all sides. Smiles beamed on every +face. In an instant I had become the most popular man on the island,--at +all events with the people in that farm-house. Their hospitality and my +hunger had met at last, and come to terms--to the unbounded enthusiasm +of all. + +Meantime Enderby had communicated to them the fact that I was an +Irishman; and I overheard someone venture on the singular criticism: +"De Ieren zijn zoo lief voor elkaar! Hij gebruikt niets als zijn vriend +er niet bij is." + +"Hé, wat lief!" said Baas Willemse. + +"Innig!" whispered the grandmother, smiling. + +"Leuk", answered the mother. + +"Aardig", said some one else. + +"Typisch", exclaimed Truitje. + +A grumble fell on our ears: "Wat gek!" + +It was Jaap. + +Truitje talked on one side of Enderby; Jaap talked on the other. +Enderby smiled, then sniggered, then laughed; and finally, laying down +his knife and fork, he looked at me, and leaned back in his chair and +positively roared. + +"Well, what's the matter?" I asked austerely. + +"She says it's touching to see your affection for me. You looked so +melancholy when I was away, as if you were longing for something--or +crossed in love--or disappointed! You've won their hearts, at last, +my boy, not a doubt of it. Still, don't overdo that phrase, now that +you've got it. Jaap here has a story about an Irish terrier in Drenthe +that refused to eat anything for three days, when its master was away +in Amsterdam. But he adds that the terrier made up for it, by eating +everything it could, when its master came back. I can see that you are +going to achieve a reputation that will outrival that of your canine +compatriot, unless you have a care. Be a bit cautious, please." + +Here Jaap, dimly apprehending that Enderby was speaking about him, +performed a mystic rite that puzzled me extremely. + +Pretending to sharpen an imaginary pencil on his forefinger he held it +towards us and cried, "Sliep uit." + +"What on earth is that?" I asked Enderby--who, however, could only +tell me that it was intended as a roguish taunt--Jaap was always a +schelm--but the phrase was otherwise meaningless. + +As such I jotted it down at once in my notebook for future use. + +From these experiences in the boerderij I was able to deduce an +important general principle of practical value. + ++If you want anything in Holland never say "thank you", until the +object is firmly in your grasp.+ Then you may be as civil as you like. +But before you get hold of it, you are only safe if you say, "If I". + ++In the Dutch language premature thanks are equivalent to a refusal; +so you'd better keep your gratitude out of sight.+ + +Well, I had won all hearts here in virtue of my discoveries. As we were +going away the grandmother gave me a second Good-bye, shaking me warmly +by both hands. "Heeft mijnheer zich goed geamuseerd?" she enquired. + +"Kostelijk--Uitstekend--Nouw!" was my prompt reply, for I had expected +that query. + +"Wat spreekt mijnheer nouw makkelijk Hollandsch!" she exclaimed. + +"Gunst, ja", was my retort. "Ik heb zoo'n pret gehad! Onbetaalbaar!" + +But I caught Jaap's eye; it was critical; so to pay back the youth for +his terrier-story I took out my pencil, sharpened it in full view of +them all and said, "Sliep uit, Jaap; je bent een schelm". + +With that they all cheered, young and old, saying "Net, Mijnheer, net!" + +"Tot weerziens!" laughed the grandmother shaking hands again. "Kom +spoedig terug". + +"Ja hoor; dat spreekt." + +"Belooft u?" she repeated, before she let me go. + +I pulled myself together, and gave a parting salvo: "Ja, +zeker--Stellig--Och kom!--Reken er op!--Of ik!!" + +We drove away in a perfect tornado of applause. + + + + +EPILOGUE. + +THE EXPECTED SURPRISE. + + +On reaching my rooms at Ferdinand Bolstraat 66_a_, the landlady greeted +me with respectful effusion and told me that Jan was as good as cured, +though the wounded arm would remain stiff for a good while, she +feared. She was loud in the praises of the Engelsche juffrouw and her +profisciency in Dutch; and (sinking her voice confidentially) Mijnheer +van Leeuwen had left a letter for me upstairs. + +"Boyton", I thought, as I climbed those forty nine precipitous steps +that led to my room, "I hope you have done your duty." + +And he had. + +Van Leeuwen wrote that he would prepare me for a great surprise! It +was yet a profound secret; but,--well, in fact--that is to say--he was +engaged to my cousin Kathleen. They had discovered mutual sympathies +and affinities over the study of Dutch--to which language now my cousin +was devoting her serious attention. By the by they had been delighted +with that monograph of mine. And the queer Grammar was useful. (I +should think so!) + +He said that he could well imagine my astonished looks when I got this +news about his attachment! Now confess, he concluded, that you hadn't +the ghost of a suspicion as to what was coming? + +"Oh hadn't I just?" I soliloquized, "Well; there's only one thing, my +dear fellow, to say to all that; And I really must say it in Dutch: ++Of ik+?" + + + + +Opmerkingen van de bewerker + + +In deze tekst komen vier soorten van nadruk voor, soms tegelijkertijd. +Voor deze txt-versie zijn ze weergeven met _cursief_, =vet=, ++gespatieerd+ en HOOFDLETTERS. + +Ook in de txt-versie zijn de kopteksten van bovenaan de bladzijden +verplaatst naar het begin van de hoofdstukken. + +Voor het gemak van de lezer is de inhoudsopgave verplaatst van het eind +van het boek naar het begin. + +In de tabel met uitspraakregels op pag. 16 werd in het origineel E U +twee keer genoemd. De tweede is veranderd in E I. + +Duidelijke drukfouten zijn stilzwijgend verbeterd. Alle andere +eigenaardigheden en inconsequenties in spelling en grammatica zijn +niet gewijzigd, in het bijzonder die in de zogenaamde citaten uit +"Boyton and Brandnetel". Ook de stijl van de auteur in het gebruik van +aanhalingstekens is niet gewijzigd. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Further Adventures of O'Neill in +Holland, by J. Irwin Brown + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF *** + +***** This file should be named 36765-8.txt or 36765-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/7/6/36765/ + +Produced by Mark C. Orton, eagkw and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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