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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland, by 
+J. Irwin Brown
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland
+
+Author: J. Irwin Brown
+
+Release Date: July 17, 2011 [EBook #36765]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Mark C. Orton, eagkw and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF O'NEILL IN HOLLAND.
+
+
+
+
+  Books by CUEY-NA-GAEL:
+
+
+  An Irishman's Difficulties in Speaking Dutch.
+
+  Deze humor deed aan het beste van Jerome denken.
+                                         (_Nieuwe Courant_).
+
+  Ingenaaid =90 cts.=        Gebonden =f 1,25=.
+
+
+  Ireland, its Humour and Pathos.
+
+  A most interesting study ... graceful ... bright and readable.
+                                         (_British Weekly_).
+
+  Treffende beschrijvingen van landschap... Geestig en
+  pathetisch. (_N. Gron. Courant_).
+
+  Vol humor en geest--weemoed en melancholie.
+                                           (_Dor. Courant_).
+
+  Ingenaaid =90 cts.=        Gebonden =f 1,25=.
+
+
+  The Further Adventures of O'Neill.
+
+  Thans kregen wij de avonturen van O'Neill te hooren bij een
+  vriendelijke boerenfamilie..., zijn dwaze ontmoeting in
+  Gouda.... in het Haagsche Bosch.... en zijn verwarring met
+  "dank u" en "thank you".... en Kanapé.... en de D-trein--het
+  was alles niet om na te vertellen.
+
+  Ingenaaid =90 cts.=        Gebonden =f 1,25=.
+
+
+  Published by J. M. BREDÉE, Rotterdam.
+
+
+
+
+  THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF
+  O'NEILL IN HOLLAND
+
+  BY
+
+  CUEY-NA-GAEL,
+  (REV. J. IRWIN BROWN, B. D.)
+
+  Author of "An Irishman's Difficulties in Speaking Dutch",
+  "Ireland, its Humour and Pathos".
+
+  SECOND EDITION.
+
+  [Illustration]
+
+  ROTTERDAM
+  J. M. BREDÉE.
+  1914
+
+
+
+
+                  For permission to give recitations or
+                  readings from this book, application
+                  should be made to the Publisher.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+                                       Page.
+            CHAPTER I.
+
+  Where did O'Neill's Dutch come from?     1
+
+            CHAPTER II.
+
+  Some Characteristics of the Compendious  5
+    Guide to Dutch
+
+            CHAPTER III.
+
+  How O'Neill learnt to pronounce         14
+
+            CHAPTER IV.
+
+  An Interlude and an Application         18
+
+            CHAPTER V.
+
+  The Wegwijzer on Dutch Syntax           23
+
+            CHAPTER VI.
+
+  The Grammatical Caress                  29
+
+            CHAPTER VII.
+
+  A Gossipy Letter                        34
+
+            CHAPTER VIII.
+
+  The Surprises of the Maas               44
+
+            CHAPTER IX.
+
+  The Thunderstorm                        55
+
+            CHAPTER X.
+
+  The Devoted Nurse                       68
+
+            CHAPTER XI.
+
+  Gossip and Diplomacy                    76
+
+            CHAPTER XII.
+
+  A Study in Character                    83
+
+            CHAPTER XIII.
+
+  Belet!                                  97
+
+            CHAPTER XIV.
+
+  The Day-train                          104
+
+            CHAPTER XV.
+
+  Supper at a Boerderij                  112
+
+            EPILOGUE                     129
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+WHERE DID O'NEILL'S DUTCH COME FROM?
+
+A GREAT WORK.--THE CIVILIZED LADY.--BOYTON ANIMATES THE LEARNER.
+
+
+We had all heard something of Jack O'Neill's adventures in Holland; and
+the members of our informal little club in Trinity College Dublin were
+positively thirsting for fresh details. There must be much more to
+tell, we felt sure: and we had a multitude of questions to ask.
+
+Now the odd thing about O'Neill was that he didn't like to be
+interrogated; he preferred to tell his story straight through in his
+own way. He had evidently studied hard at the Dutch language, but
+without the least regard for system: and it was clear that he had been
+by no means careful in the choice of text books. Indeed, he seemed to
+be rather sensitive on this point, no doubt regretting that, in the
+ardour of his early enthusiasm, he had just taken the first grammar
+and exercise-book he could lay his hands upon, without consulting
+anybody. It was that curious plan of doing everything by himself that
+doubtless led him into the initial mistake, that of trying to get any
+sense out of "Boyton and Brandnetel".
+
+Apparently he had kept that "literary find" by him for reference, and
+for digging stray idioms and rules out of, while he added more modern
+volumes to his working stock. This would account for his glibness in
+rattling off out-of-the-way phrases, and for that rich bizarre flavour
+which his simplest Dutch utterance undoubtedly had.
+
+But we didn't know the worst.
+
+Intentionally vague though he was in talking about his authorities, we
+ran him to earth (so to speak) at last in the matter of "Boyton and
+Brandnetel"; and had a happy evening.
+
+That book was all O'Neill told us, and more. Printed on paper that
+seemed a cross between canvas and blot-sheet, it bore the date 1805.
+It was very Frenchified, and the English puzzled us extremely. Here is
+the Preface--or a part of it.
+
+  =The following WORK was, originally, compiled by William Boyton.
+  After passing +five Editions+, a Sixth appeared +partly enlarged,
+  and partly improved+, by Jac. Brandnetel. This last Edition was
+  published, at the Hague, in the Year, 1751.=
+
+  =The several particles, of Speech, are arranged by the usual Order;
+  and Declare with precision; every rule being followed, with
+  practical exercise. This Mode, of teaching, being already
+  +appreciated+; it will not be deemed Essential; nor do we, point
+  out, the utility of it. As to Syntax; it is fully treated: whilst,
+  +last not least+, cares have been exercised, to unite ease with
+  simplicity, accuracy with idiom, and animate the +Learner+. It aims
+  at the pupil of +High-Life+, and to acquire the Polish of the
+  +civilized Lady+.=
+
+  =THE HAGUE, 1805.=
+
+
+This brilliant introduction raised our expectations to fever heat. We
+had never encountered such an army of commas before; and as for the
+English--!
+
++Anything+, evidently, might be met with inside the covers of William
+Boyton's 'Work'.
+
+The best of it, of course, was its extraordinary politeness. Every
+other question was prefixed with "Verschoon my", and went on something
+like this: "Zoudt gij zoo goed willen zijn mij toe te staan...". Then
+there were some plain and unornamental phrases such as "Men weet
+nooit hoe een koe eenen haas vangt".--This was labelled 'proverbial
+expression', and was translated, happily enough, by "The unexpected
+often occurs."
+
+"Ik heb er het land aan je" was rendered mysteriously: "I have an
+objection", "I cannot agree".
+
+That was puzzling enough, and delightfully vague! But for all that
+found the phrase doubly underlined by O'Neill and marked by him as
+'useful for general conversation'.--
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+SOME CHARACTERISTICS OF THE COMPENDIOUS GUIDE TO THE DUTCH LANGUAGE.
+
+POLITE DIALOGUES.--HOW TO BUY A CASTOR.--NOT MURDERED?--GIJ
+ZIJT GERESTAUREERD.--THE ENGERT.--BETAALD ZETTEN.--GEKT GIJ ER
+MEDE?--DUIZENDMAAL VERSCHOONING, MEJUFFROUW!
+
+
+There was something good on every page, as might be expected from the
+very preface. And, withal, there was a steady process of boasting about
+its own merits that was most refreshing in the barren realm of grammar.
+
+With mock modesty it dubbed itself on the title page, "The Compendious
+Guide," and followed this up with another title "_Korte Wegwijzer tot
+de nederduitsche taal_." The whole compilation was evidently the work
+of several generations of literary gentlemen, who aimed at the 'Polish
+of the Civilized Lady' in quite different ways, but whose united
+efforts certainly made 'The Work' remarkably incoherent.
+
+We all quizzed O'Neill unmercifully about the Civilized Lady, and read
+some dialogues with immense satisfaction. So uproarious, indeed, did
+the fun become at last, that our neighbours on the stair came trooping
+in. Three of them were Cape-students, hard-working medicals, whom we
+never heard speaking Dutch, though we were well aware they must have
+known it. Like the others, they insisted on a full explanation of the
+tumult, and we showed them "Boyton". They didn't mind so much about the
+Civilized Lady; but when they turned to the Polite Dialogues at the
+end, a kind of shudder seemed to pass through them, as if they had got
+an electric shock--till finally they dropped the book and screamed with
+delight.
+
+"Why! that's nothing so very odd", said O'Neill, looking hurt. "I have
+often used lots of those phrases." Picking up the dishevelled leaves
+from the floor, he ran his eye down a page or two and said: "Yes, of
+course. These things are all right: A bit stiff and bookish, perhaps;
+but correct, quite correct. You fellows needn't be so excited over
+nothing."
+
+"Read us some!" clamoured the men from the Cape. "Read us some of the
+dialogues you imitated. Go on! Read!"
+
+"Oh!" said O'Neill, "almost any one of these conversations about common
+things is good enough. Here, for instance." And he took the book in his
+hand and walked about the room, giving us first the English--then the
+Dutch.
+
+
+  ="TOUCHING BUYING AND SELLING.=  =WEGENS KOOPEN EN VERKOOPEN.=
+
+  Have you any fine hats?          Hebt gij mooije hoeden?
+
+  This is one of the finest in     Daar is een van de fraaiste in 't
+    the Country.                     land.
+
+  Yes, Sir; this is a dreadfully   Ja, hoedemaker; deze tenminste is
+    nice one.                        ijsselijk mooi.
+
+  Just come close to the fire,     Eilieve! kruip bij het vuur,
+    Sir; and examine that hat        mijnheer; en bezie dien hoed
+    narrowly.                        eens wel."
+
+
+"That conversation," said the Professor, "must have been of immense
+help to you now in modern Holland?"
+
+"Hm"--replied Jack doubtfully.
+
+"O'Neill," said I; "Stop! You're making that out of your head. That
+stuff's never in any book."
+
+"Well," was the hasty reply; "I see this isn't so good as some
+parts--not so practical, perhaps; but that's all here. Wait a bit....
+Now listen. Here's something better. Hush!"
+
+
+  ="BETWEEN TWO ENGLISH GENTLEMEN.= =TUSSCHEN TWEE ENGELSCHE HEEREN.=
+
+  My dear Friend, I am extremely    Waarde Vriend! ik ben ten uiterste
+    happy to see you.                 verheugd u te zien (bezigtigen,
+                                      of a house).
+
+  It has been reported for a        Men heeft voor de waarheid verteld
+    certainty that you were taken     (als eene zekerheid verhaald) dat
+    by the Turks and murdered         gij van de Turken genomen waart
+    halfway between Leghorn and       en gemoord halfwege tusschen
+    Civita Vecchia.                   Livorno en Civita Vecchia.
+
+  But these atrocities did not      Maar deze gruwelen zijn mij niet
+    befall me!                        gebeurd!
+
+  You are convinced it is not       Gij zijt overtuigd dat zulks
+    true?                             onwaar is?
+
+  I am.                             Gewisselijk.
+
+  I rejoice that you are restored.  Ik verheug mij dat gij heelemaal
+                                      hersteld zijt geweest (of a
+                                      building: geheel en al
+                                      gerestaureerd geworden)."
+
+There was a noise in the room at this, but O'Neill went on boldly to
+finish the Dialogue.
+
+  "Are you speaking in jest?         Gekt gij ermede?
+
+  I do not jest.                     Ik gek er niet mede."
+
+
+"That's enough--quite enough--for the present", said the Cape men.
+"We'll borrow the +Wegwijzer+ from you, and bring it back safe.
+
+"No, there's no fear we'll mislay it, or harm it. Much too valuable for
+that. But--you'll excuse us; we can hardly believe you've got that
+actually in print. And we're curious to know what kind of rules those
+learned grammarians give. You'll lend us this mine of wisdom for a few
+days, won't you? Thank you, so much.
+
+"And by the way, here are some of your own notes. What's this about
+_engert_?"
+
+"Oh", said O'Neill; "that's a reminder about a neat phrase I picked up
+from my landlady. Did I never tell you?
+
+"Well. When my cousin came over, you know, on his way to Germany, he
+stayed with me a couple of days. He's very athletic--a fine wiry,
+muscular young fellow, lithe as a willow, as you are aware. So I wasn't
+astonished at overhearing the landlady and a crony of hers discussing
+him. They used a rumble of unintelligible words about Terence, as he
+passed the two of them on the stairs with the slightest of nods, and
+mounted three steps at a time, whistling as he went. There was no
+mistake about their referring to him; and amid the chaos of sounds I
+caught the words _eng_ and _engert_.
+
+Curious to know how Terence's agility, or perhaps his swarthy
+complexion, had affected them, I turned up these terms of admiration
+in my dictionary; and found _eng_, 'thin', 'narrow'. The longer word
+wasn't there. But on the whole it seemed safe to conclude from _eng_
+meaning 'narrow', that _engert_ would work out something like "fine
+strapping fellow and in excellent training". If that was it, my
+landlady had hit the nail on the head. For Terence had just been
+carrying all before him at the last Trinity sports.
+
+Her admiring criticism I duly entered in my notes and kept for use.
+
+Some days after Terence had left, the landlady was praising her son's
+cleverness to me; and to please her I just said that he was a wonderful
+boy. 'Mirakel van een jongen' was the expression I employed; and I was
+quite proud of it. But she didn't seem appreciative of my effort, so I
+fell back on her own idiom. Fortunately the lad was quite slender, and
+I could dwell with satisfaction on the suitability of my new word.
+
+"Hij is zoo eng", I said. "Ja juffrouw hij is een engert!--een echte
+engert!!"
+
+She received my encomium on her boy with speechless indignation, and
+rose and left the room. You can't be too careful", added O'Neill
+thoughtfully.
+
+"Jack," said one of the students. "I prefer your own notes even to
+Boyton. Haven't you some more? Ah, what's this?" he enquired, turning
+to some pencillings inside the back. "_Dat zou je wel willen_", he read
+aloud, "'signification doubtful!'
+
+"And here's one marked '_commercial_': 'We'll consider the transaction
+as settled': Dutch apparently something like, '_Dat zal ik u betaald
+zetten_'. Here's another labelled, '_not deftig, but very popular_':
+'_Ben je niet goed snik?_' Translation _seems_ to be: 'you're not quite
+able to follow my meaning.'
+
+"Ah! No more? That's a pity."
+
+"Oh I have plenty more," interposed O'Neill; "but not here. And you
+want to read this Boyton volume."
+
+"Let me finish the 'Dialogue between English gentlemen', and you may
+have The Work.
+
+The first Englishman says: "Ik bid U, mijnheer; laat mij geene
+onheusheid begaan."
+
+Then the other, the man who had been so disappointed that his friend
+wasn't murdered, answers politely: "Ik weet zeer wel welke +eerbied+
+ik U schuldig ben."
+
+Up to this moment the two acquaintances seemed to have got on fairly
+well together in spite of some difficulties. Why two Englishmen when
+they met in Paris about the year of grace 1805 should plunge into a
+complimentary dialogue in Dutch, is not very clear. But that there was
+a lurking feeling of antagonism in the +gossip's+ mind towards his
+compatriot, seems to be shown by the remark that he now makes to wind
+up the dialogue.
+
+"_Mejuffrouw_(!) _ik bid U duizendmaal om verschooning, indien ik heden
+eenige onheusheid omtrent U bega._"
+
+That was final. The returned traveller hasn't a word for himself, after
+he is called 'mejuffrouw.'
+
+"Mind you, gentlemen," continued O'Neill, holding Boyton aloft like a
+trophy, "if I +did+ try to stop too prolonged conversations in that
+gracefully irrelevant fashion, I had caught the trick of it from
+Brandnetel himself. You have only to go on heaping civilities on your
+wearisome talker's head, but take care to call him, just once,
+Mejuffrouw, and he'll have to go. It's a neat way of saying Good-bye.
+I never found the method to fail.
+
+Some day I'll tell you how supremely effective I found that unexpected
+little turn.
+
+Why it's nearly as good as _Zanik nouw niet_."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+HOW O'NEILL LEARNED TO PRONOUNCE.
+
+THE GOAT THAT RAN ROUND THE ROOF.--A HAS A BROAD SOUND.--NATIVES.
+
+
+"I never could quite understand," said Bart van Dam, the big Cape
+giant, who had carried off Boyton the week before, "how O'Neill
+managed, out of such an extraordinary book, to pick up anything of the
+pronunciation. For, as a matter of fact, he +does+ get quite close to
+some of the sounds; and I can nearly always guess what he is trying to
+say.
+
+"When he is talking about that interesting Rotterdam street, the
+Boompjes, he doesn't make the first part rhyme with the English word
+loom, and then add +cheese+, a thing I have heard Britishers do who
+should have known better. And actually, I have noticed he can
+distinguish +goed+, +groot+, +goot+. That's promising.
+
+"Some of my British friends at the Cape, even after I graduated on
+English Literature and History, used kindly to drop Dutch words into
+their conversation, either to make it easy for me, or to keep up my
+spirits, so to speak. Oh never a talk of over five minutes, but little
+familiar terms like +taal+, +zolder+, +maar+, and so on, would begin to
+be showered in, here and there. One of these linguists had taken me
+into his own back garden, (he was very fond of animals of all kinds and
+we had gone out to inspect those he had) when he began to explain the
+new improvements on his premises.
+
+We got into a deep discussion on the right way of draining a flat roof.
+"Come here", said he, at last. "Look up there, and you'll see a +goat
+of mine+ running all round the open space!"
+
+"Goat!" I exclaimed; "it'll fall!"
+
+"Nonsense", he said, "not unless lightning strikes it. Firm as a rock!
+Now, isn't that the right sort of +goat to carry the water off+?"
+
+He thought he had said goot in Dutch!
+
+Well now, Jack's beyond +that+. Who had been coaching him?
+
+Naturally I turned up Boyton on pronunciation the very first thing at
+home--and the mystery was solved! I was amazed. Boyton excels in
+teaching the sounds. Here is an extract or two from his
+
+
+  =REMARKS ON THE DUTCH PRONUNCIATION.=
+
+  =A=     =has a +broader sound+ than in English, bal.=
+
+  =A A=   =has a +broader sound+, aal.=
+
+  =A A U= =+sounds broad+, as in graauwen, to snarl.=
+
+  =E U=   =is described as resembling eu in Europe. For the +falsity+
+          thereof, let the word be pronounced by a Native, and the
+          +Mistake+ will be +felt+.=
+
+  =G=     =is a guttural letter difficult to an Englishman; it can only
+          be acquired by hearing it from a +Civilized Native+, e.g.
+          gierig and gijzelen.=
+
+  =U U=   =No Englishman can emit this sound. It may be well heard in
+          vuur (fire) and in guur. Consult a Dutch Instructor.=
+
+  =E I=   =This sound is beyond the powers of the unassisted English
+          Organs of Speech. It must first be heard from an educated
+          Hollander.=
+
+  =U I=   =It is +improper+ to make this identical with oy as in boy;
+          the native pronunciation must be followed.=
+
+
+There you have some of the Rules! They won't lead you far wrong, in any
+case. Then, to crown all, for fear the diligent reader wouldn't have
+caught the point yet, Boyton goes back to his favourite "Doctrine of
+the Native." Here it is:
+
+
+=The Editor places the learner on his guard against receiving wrong
+references, and directs him to an Instructor, or Native, whose Dialect
+it is, for the sound peculiar to each letter=.
+
+
+Bravo, Boyton!
+
+Three kinds of Natives he recommends the beginner to consult. He has
+them arranged in a sort of ascending scale--+the Civilized, the
+Intelligent and the Polite.+
+
+The two former classes will help you with the pronunciation, or with
+Het.
+
+From the latter you get idioms.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+AN INTERLUDE AND AN APPLICATION.
+
+LOFTY CANOPY OF GREEN.--BENT U EEN DICHTER?--THE CLOTURE.--AN INTERLUDE
+AND AN APPLICATION.
+
+
+"So our friend Jack had to ask always for the sounds of the words. That
+would be right good for him," said Bart, "and should have made his talk
+intelligible."
+
+"Well of course it did," said O'Neill. "They always understood the
++words+ I used. It was the applications I made that hampered them.
+
+"I had great trouble with a chatty old gentleman in the tram one
+morning going down to Scheveningen. It was just seven--I was hurrying
+to get an early dip, and he seemed bent on the same errand.
+
+
+Attracted by my blazer and towel he opened conversation about
+sea-bathing, and then proceeded to discourse on the beauties of the
+landscape. He seemed chilled by the poverty of my adjectives, though
+I worked them vigorously.
+
+
+"Deze weg vin je zeker wel mooi?" he said at last, looking up at the
+arched green overhead. "Of houd U niet van de natuur?"
+
+"Ja, zeker wel!" I hastened to assure him. "Ik houd er erg van--Het is
+prachtig! Net een tunnel van geboomte--van loofgroen."
+
+
+Then observing the pleasure my encomiums gave him, I ventured on
+something a little more lofty and poetic. My landlady had occasionally
+talked about a "canopy," which, so far as I had understood her, I took
+to mean the vast cupola of hangings over the old-fashioned bed in my
+lodging. She used to say that the canopy was new and beautiful, and
+needed constant dusting.
+
+I had always agreed to this, but never dreamt of hunting up a word that
+to all intents and purposes seemed the same as in English.
+
+"Indrukwekkend schoon," I added. "Wij zitten, als het ware, onder een
+canopey (that was my landlady's pronunciation) van bladeren."
+
+"Een kanapé, mijnheer?"
+
+"Ja," said I, "een verheven canopy, niet waar?
+
+Wij zeilen onder een groene canopy--verbazend--magnifique!"
+
+"Hoe bedoelt U dat?" said the old gentleman more and more puzzled, and
+determined to find out my meaning.
+
+"Wij zitten hier, niet waar?" I began slowly; then pointing to the roof
+of green over our heads, I explained: "dat alles vormt een prachtige
+canopy boven ons heen. Zeker wel?"
+
+"Ik geloof het niet", said the chatty old gentleman. "De tram gelijkt
+ook niet op een kanapé; of meent U dat?"
+
+"De tram niet," I exclaimed, "maar de boomen; kijk; het gebladerte, het
+geboomte en de hooge dak dat ze maken--dat alles zoo schitterend groen,
+dat is, mijns bedunkens, niets dan een canopy, uitgehangen zoo te
+spreken, over ons heen, in uitgestrekte schoonheid."
+
+
+The old gentleman surely was a little dull. He said, "Ik begrijp niet
+goed wat u zegt. Waar is de canapé? Of bedoelt U soms een badstoel--op
+het strand?"
+
+"Nee", I answered with a deprecating smile; "Ik sprak maar poetisch.
++Verheven+", I added with a wave of my towel towards the greenery
+overhead.
+
+"Hé," said he with friendly interest, "bent U een dichter? Ik had U
+voor een schilder gehouden," he explained with a glance at my blazer.
+
+"Ik--een dichter!" I returned modestly. "Neen; niet erg. Op een kleine
+schaal, misschien." +On a small scale+, I meant to say; but I must have
+mangled the +sch+ badly, for he didn't catch the point, and I heard him
+mutter: "Een sjaal! een sjaal, EN een kanapé!!"
+
+"Ja zeker, mijnheer," I reasoned; "U ziet het zelf voor U--daar onder
+de boomen--dat IS hier een canopy--"
+
+"Pardon", he interrupted, "dat is niet waar. Dat zijn gewone houten
+banken," he persisted argumentatively. "En wat bedoelt U met een sjaal?"
+
+How pertinacious the old gentleman was! He stuck to me like a leech. I
+couldn't shake him off; and we were still far off the Kurhaus.
+
+It was clearly a case for Boyton's conversational method.
+
+
+"Mejuffrouw!" I said firmly, leaning towards him, "Ik ken Uwe
+edelmoedigheid genoeg. Maar"--and here I added two nice little local
+idioms from the rich stores of my memory--"maar--U komt pas te kijken."
+
+That told him he wasn't looking at the matter in true philosophic
+perspective.
+
+But this I followed up, in a more authoritative way, with the assurance
+that I didn't at all agree with him. "Waarempeltjes," I whispered with
+elaborate distinctness, "ik heb het land aan je!"
+
+
+The chatty old gentleman got off at the next +halte+.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THE 'COMPENDIOUS GUIDE' ON DUTCH SYNTAX.
+
+NO DEFINITE RULES.--ALL NOUNS TO WHICH HET IS PREFIXED ARE NEUTER.--DEN
+IS NOT A PURE NOMINATIVE.--IK GRAUW, IK KEF, EN IK KWEEL.--A BOYTON TO
+THE RESCUE.
+
+
+Boyton's monograph on pronunciation is his finest piece of work. He
+never quite reaches that level elsewhere; and, if he is destined after
+a hundred and fifty years to achieve a name, it had better rest on his
+'Doctrine of the Native' than on his Syntax.
+
+So van Dam assured us, when our little party met in his room the week
+before Christmas.
+
+We had all been busy; but busy or not, the Cape men found time to skim
+over Boyton's entertaining paragraphs, as, indeed, we guessed, from the
+frequent guffaws and readings that reached us from time to time through
+the closed doors. To night we had accepted an invitation to supper,
+before the holidays; and we were to hear his views on O'Neill's 'Guide,
+Philosopher and Friend', Boyton,--in other words the '_Wegwijzer tot de
+nederduitsche taal_'. Long since Jack had, indeed, got other and more
+modern manuals of Dutch, so that he was supposed to look now with a
+certain contempt on his former monitor: but the "compendious guide" had
+laid the basis of his erudition, and he had still a sneaking regard for
+its honest old pages.
+
+What we wanted, indeed, was stories from Jack himself: but we had
+exhausted the more dramatic of these; and to get the fine aroma of the
+others--there were still many others--we thought some acquaintance with
+the compendium's syntax was essential.
+
+Van Dam had undertaken to put us up to any niceties he had been struck
+with.
+
+The first thing he told us was that Boyton had no clear ideas of any
+sort, and never laid down any definite rule. This lent him a certain
+diffidence in regard to most points,--a diffidence which in the case of
+HET became positive fright. At the first mention of +de+, +het+, and an
++adjective+, he gives as much encouragement as he can.
+
+It is not much.
+
+
+  =An insurmountable Difficulty for the Englischman is the right use of
+  the Particles, especially +het+. Sufficient rules cannot be given,
+  E. g. het mooie kind: eene sterke vrouw, een zwart schip.=
+
+  =+This is certain, that all Nouns, to which the Particles, het, dat,
+  or dit, are added are of the Neuter Gender; on this account, the e
+  final, in the Adjectives, when joined with such words, is,
+  generally, rejected.+=
+
+  =Even this rule admits of an exception. E. G. It is never said: +een
+  snel vogel: de groote paard+. But it is correct to say, if the
+  meaning admits it, +een groote man+. (also +groot+.) A native may be
+  consulted with advantage.=
+
+
+When Boyton is labouring under strong emotion, the effect is always to
+increase the number of commas, colons, and other stops.
+
+His agitation may also be traced in the way he harks back to any
+fundamental rule that he has already discussed ad nauseam.
+
+It is quite pathetic to note how he urges on his readers to reserve
+their dezen and dien and den for the accusative.
+
+
+  =It is good Dutch to say: ik zag dien braven man gisteren, _I saw
+  that honest man yesterday_; +but it is very bad Dutch,--whatever
+  custom may have introduced in some places; to say+--dien braven man
+  heeft het gezegd.=
+
+
+Take some gems at random.
+
+
+  =N.B. Prepositions are that part of speech, which are so called
+  because they are, commonly, put before the words, which are
+  subsequent to them, as +onder+ and +ondanks+.=
+
+
+  =N.B. Most Adverbs may be distinguished from adjectives by this
+  rule: If a substantive is added after them, they will make
+  +nonsense+; whereas, being joined to an Adjective or a Verb, they
+  will make good sense.=
+
+
+"What I admire most," said van Dam handing back The Work to O'Neill,
+"is the elasticity of the rules. He says, for instance, that you can
+render +I know+ by +ik weet+, and on the whole he is inclined to
+recommend that way of it. But he never commits himself.
+
+"+It must be also admitted that there are other authors of good standing
+who employ the Subjunctive form where we might expect the Indicative
+and who say+ IK WETE, +I know+."
+
+That's one of his rules!
+
+As a matter of fact there is no finality about anything in these pages.
+O'Neill, you were in training for a poet when you took up this book. I
+confess I should have liked to hear you going over your fifteen classes
+of irregular verbs, on the model (say) of ik grauw, ik kef en ik kweel,
+or even of ik krijsch, ik piep en ik lieg.
+
+There is a rich profusion of tenses too in Boyton. He needn't have
+apologized for being too simple when he furnishes you with four
+ordinary optatives and four future optatives."
+
+"You may jest as you like about Boyton", interrupted Jack; "but I tell
+you it's a book that has points. Do you know it once helped me to save
+a lady's life?"
+
+"Save a lady's life!" said the Professor and the Philosopher in one
+breath. "We'll withdraw all we've said, if you'll prove to us, now, that
+the 'Compendious Guide' was ever the least good to any human being."
+
+"Tell your adventure in your own way, O'Neill," a boyish voice chimed
+in; "and shame the cynics."
+
+We all glared at the First-year's man--who was making himself very
+much at home for a lad of his tender years--but as he had nothing
+more to say, we let him off with a look, and turned to the lethargic
+story-teller.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE GRAMMATICAL CARESS.
+
+A HAPPY CROWD.--INNOCENCE IN DANGER.--NEMESIS.--THE OUTCOME OF A
+REVOLUTION.
+
+
+"You saved life with that Boyton-Grammar of yours, if I catch the drift
+of your last remark?" interposed the Professor magniloquently, as if he
+were addressing a public meeting.
+
+"May I hazard the guess that Boyton on that occasion was rather a
+weapon of offence than of defence?"
+
+"Well, you're right," said O'Neill. "Offence is more in Boyton's line.
+And he certainly did press heavily, that day, on a butcher's boy. You
+remember those slagersjongens that saunter about, in white linen coats,
+with great protruding baskets on their shoulders. They jostle and push
+wherever they have a chance, and whirl round with their cargoes of
+meat, so as to make you start. You know the tribe. Well, Boyton proved
+an admirable corrective to the insolence of one of these imps.
+
+It was a day there was a sort of festival in the Hague.
+
+From early in the afternoon there was a crush everywhere. The singels
+and the main roads through the Wood were filled with holiday-makers.
+Soldiers were parading here and there. Everyone was in the best of good
+humour; music in the distance rose and fell on the air; flags fluttered
+from the windows. Look where you might, there were bright dresses,
+prancing horses, snorting motors, and pedestrians of all descriptions.
+
+I was one of the pedestrians.
+
+I had been at my grammar in the morning; and after a long spell in the
+house had stepped over to Enderby's, and coaxed that lazy fellow out
+for a stroll. It was perfect weather, and the crowds were wonderfully
+well-behaved. We enjoyed ourselves finely 'under the green-wood tree,'
+till we were brought to a stand-still in a dense mass of humanity that
+was packed along the edge of a canal, scarcely moving. A procession or
+something had impeded the traffic some moments.
+
+There was a knot of butchers' boys right in front of us. They were
+roughly shoving their neighbours about, and seeing what mischief they
+could do. Horse play, in fact. They didn't seem to fit into Boyton's
+categories, either of 'Natives intelligent' or 'polite'.
+
+Presently one brawny scoundrel began to throw stones at the occupants
+of a carriage that was slowly passing by.
+
+I couldn't believe my eyes!
+
+There sat an old lady of eighty or ninety, with soft white hair--the
+very picture of fragility; opposite her was a nurse in dark uniform, in
+charge of three dainty little children in pink and white--mere babies
+of three or four--with innocent blue eyes gazing all round them. And,
+actually, that ruffianly +knecht+ was about to bombard the group with
+whatever he had in his hand!
+
+Bang went a big mass of something--presumably hard, from the rattle it
+made--against the side of the carriage.
+
+Happily he was a poor marksman, that rascally slager; for at that short
+range he ought to have been able to demolish so fragile an old lady at
+the first shot, or at the very least have put out one eye.
+
+As it was, he only knocked off her bonnet.
+
+Enraged, apparently, at his poor practice at a practically stationary
+target so close at hand, he picked up another half-brick and wheeled,
+to take more deliberate aim.
+
+The delicate old lady grew pale, and spasmodically fumbled with her
+parasol to shield the children.
+
+I thought her eye caught mine; and, seeing there was no escape for her
+unless I interposed--no one till now seemed to have noticed the
+occurrence--I shouted, "+Stop, slager, stop+!" and whisked Boyton's
+learned pages right into his face, taking care at the same moment to
+administer a vigorous push to the long arm of the lever conveniently
+made by his basket.
+
+This forced him to revolve suddenly on his own axis--beefsteak and all;
+and, as he spun round, I accelerated his motion with a pat or two from
+the '+compendium+'. It was all the work of an instant, and executed
+just in time. The grammatical caress foiled his aim completely, and he
+flung his missile blindly in the wrong direction.
+
+As I slipped unostentatiously into the crowd out of the immediate
+neighbourhood of the discomfited marksman, I had the satisfaction of
+seeing the dear old lady recover colour and smile. The babies crowed
+with delight, and clapped their hands. They thought it was a game got
+up for their special benefit!
+
+I raised my hat and retired, a warm glow of self-approval in my breast,
+and on my lips an involuntary quotation from Boyton: "De spraakkunst is
+voor iedereen onmisbaar."
+
+Meantime the brickbat fell harmlessly on the back of a policeman who,
+with hands tightly clasped behind him, was studying a bed of scarlet
+geraniums.
+
+He never even turned, but only said "Ja, ja," over his shoulder!
+
+Two days after this adventure my eye caught the following paragraph
+among the advertisements in the Nieuwe Courant:
+
+
+                  "Stop, Slager, stop!"
+
+      The Baroness X. and her three grandchildren herewith beg
+      heartily to thank the young Englishman for his gallant
+      conduct in the Wood, on the 31st Ultimo.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+A GOSSIPY LETTER.
+
+O'NEILL AS A GUIDE.--MEN MANGLED HERE.--NOUN HUNGER.--KINDSCH
+GEWORDEN.--A ROMMEL.--HOME-MADE BERLITZ.--SPOORWEG BEPALINGEN.--THE
+GROOTE WATER-BAAS.--TWO THOUSAND NEW WORDS.
+
+
+"Don't talk any more about that grammar-book," I interposed. "It's all
+very well in its way, but it doesn't account for half Jack's adventures.
+Now I can let you into a secret. Please don't look so apprehensive,
+O'Neill! As it happens, I had a descriptive letter from Enderby just
+about the time that Jack was making the most brilliant progress with
+his Dutch vocabulary. It gave me a vivid picture of what was going on
+in the Hague when this linguist of ours got really started to work.
+
+Here are two of these long epistles. In the first he tells me all
+about the MacNamaras--Jack's cousins, you know--who came across from
+Kilkenny, for a trip to Holland. They were at the Oude Doelen when he
+wrote, and our friend Jack was posing as a great Dutch scholar and
+showing them the sights.
+
+        (From Enderby to Cuey-na-Gael)
+                                      Doelen Hotel,
+                                                   The Hague.
+
+My dear Cuey-na-Gael,
+
+You would be amazed to see the confidence with which O'Neill acts as
+guide to the MacNamaras.
+
+MacNamara +père+ is mostly buried in museums, or is on the hunt for
+archaeological papers, so Kathleen and Terence are left on Jack's hands.
+
+He has been everywhere with them, and has evidently impressed them with
+his astounding Dutch. To them it seems both correct and fluent. They
+have only had three days of it as yet, and haven't had time to find him
+out. Kathleen is as haughty as ever; and I can see she chafes at being
+obliged to submit to the direction of a mere boy, as she regards Jack.
+
+She was furious the day before yesterday, when in passing through one
+of the back streets he asked her if she had ever noticed what the Dutch
+Government printed in front of the surgeries.
+
+She glanced up and, to her horror, read: "Hier mangelt men." It was
+only a momentary shock; she guessed soon enough what it meant; but it
+gave her a turn all the same. Perhaps it wasn't a very finished kind
+of joke, but she needn't have been quite so fierce about it.
+
+"You're cruel," she said, "cruel and heartless! Why even your dogmatic
+and intolerable chum, Mr. van Leeuwen wouldn't have been so harsh as
+that."
+
+Now it was that little speech of hers that suggested something to me.
+Was there ever anything between her and van Leeuwen? They were at the
+University about the same time, and it seems van Leeuwen was a great
+friend of the father, who had him down to his place in the country and
+showed him his manuscripts. But I believe Kathleen couldn't stand him.
+They used always to be arguing about the Suffragettes, and passed for
+official enemies, in a way,--at least as uncompromising leaders on
+opposite sides. She was fond of saying that van Leeuwen was a standing
+proof that mere learning couldn't enlarge the mind. Once in a private
+debate she referred to him as a "learned barbarian and a retrograde
+mediævalist."
+
+She was called to order for it, of course; but her apology didn't
+amount to much. She said she wouldn't mind dropping the adjectives, but
+she would stick to the nouns.
+
+I believe van Leeuwen was quite content, however, and congratulated his
+witty antagonist on the fact that she would mellow with time.
+
+We always thought in those days they were sworn foes, and always would
+be. But I have a dim idea there is now more friendly interest on both
+sides. And, by the way, van Leeuwen has been carrying on brisk
+correspondence with O'Neill, especially since he heard the MacNamaras
+were expected. He has offered his services, and those of his motor, to
+all and sundry, especially if they hail from Dublin: so I don't think
+he can be keeping up very much of a grudge.
+
+But I was going to tell you about Jack.
+
+Lately I had noticed that his Dutch vocabulary was growing very rich.
+He seemed to have quite a hunger for nouns, and he used to ask the
+names of everything. But I have no idea of what he was up to. To day
+I'll find out and write you.
+
+Much haste. Yours as ever.
+                                                Enderby.
+
+
+(From Enderby to Cuey-na-Gael)
+
+Dear Cuey,
+
+I've just been at the Doelen Hotel--and the Macs are gone! Very sudden
+I must say. I suppose Kathleen has got tired of Holland; or is she
+trying to avoid van Leeuwen?
+
+You see MacNamara +mère+ had written me a friendly little note from
+Kilkenny, telling me that the Doctor--as she always calls her
+husband--had got a trifle absent-minded since his deafness became
+troublesome, and would I look him up occasionally during his stay in
+the Hague, and give him some advice about the Rhine.
+
+Well, when I reached Vieux Doelen, the birds were flown. Gone at six
+o'clock, I was told--the three of them--to Cologne! Quick work, I
+thought; so I made a bee-line for O'Neill's. He surely would know about
+this sudden departure.
+
+And in any case I wanted to get a glimpse of his new mysterious studies.
+
+Just fancy! The landlady met me at the door with tears in her eyes.
+
+"O Mijnheer, Mijnheer!" she exclaimed half-sobbing. "Ik vrees voor
+mijnheer O'Neill. Hij studeert te veel, of ik weet het niet--maar het
+is niet goed met hem. Ik geloof", and here her voice sank to a
+horrified whisper, "dat hij een beetje kindsch geworden is; want hij
+heeft speelgoed gekocht, en hij maak overal zoo een rommel."
+
+"Ja, juffrouw," I strove to explain, "Mijnheer studeert natuurlijk."
+
+But she persisted, "Oh mijnheer! studeeren is het niet. Hij ziet het
+scherm voor een kachel aan, en verknoeit alles. Ik ben zoo bang, zoo
+benauwd! Ik durf het huis niet uit, van Maandag af al!"
+
+Rather flustered by all this, I promised to call the doctor if it were
+necessary; then climbed up the stairs to O'Neill's door.
+
+All was still. I knocked and entered. What a sight met my eyes! Indeed
+it was enough to astonish more experienced people than the landlady.
+
+Neatly fastened on one side of the table was a model train, engine and
+all. Beside it was a toy house, with yard, garden, and stiff wooden
+trees. Then there was a bit of a doll's room with a kitchen stove. And
+verily to every one of these articles there was a label affixed.
+
+There sat the student, pen in hand, with a dictionary and a gum-bottle
+at his elbow. Snippets of paper littered his writing-desk and the floor
+around. His unfinished lunch (labelled too) looked down reproachfully
+from a pile of books built on the table.
+
+Over the gorgeous screen that hid the hearth a conspicuous card was
+hung, bearing the mystic inscription, "What ought to be here--Kachel."
+
+No wonder the careful hospita was upset. It would have been hard to say
+whether the apartment was more like a museum or an auction room.
+
+He glanced up with a sort of blush when I came near; but raised his
+hand to enjoin silence, as he found the word he was in search of, and
+wrote it down.
+
+Half expecting to see prices marked, I examined some of the labels.
+
+Nearly every thing had its Dutch name gummed on to it, such as 'spiegel
+lijst,' 'behangsel,' 'schotel of bakje,' and even on his sleeve 'mouw
+van mijn jas.'
+
+"It's all right!" he burst forth enthusiastically. "Doing Berlitz
+Dutch, you see! Self-taught, too! Splendid plan. Three hundred words
+a day. I'll have two thousand new nouns at my fingers' ends before the
+Macs are back from the Drachenfels. Precious few things in the ordinary
+way of life, I won't know then! Eh, what?"
+
+Then it dawned upon me he was getting up vocabulary.
+
+"Nouns, of course," he said. "All nouns. That's the secret. True basis
+of any language.
+
+"It's a discovery of my own. If you know the names of two or three
+thousand material things, you can never be at a loss. But I stick in a
+proverb, too, here and there, wherever it comes handy. See?"
+
+He held up the sleeve of his dressing-gown on which the candid
+announcement was made in bold round-hand: "Ik heb het achter de mouw",
+and pointed to his bread-knife, which was tastefully adorned with the
+words: "Het mes op de keel zetten."
+
+Yes, I saw.
+
+Well; then he explained, and argued, and tried to proselytize me. He
+was making hay while the sun shone--which meant that he was preparing,
+in the absence of Terence and Kathleen, for his famous cycling-tour;
+getting on his armour, in fact.
+
+In such spirits I had never seen him.
+
+And, I must say, he made out a good case for his method. It seems he
+had anticipated most of the queries he might be obliged to put during
+his travels. He had docketed every part of a railway carriage, and even
+mastered all sorts of regulations, from those of the Luxe-trein to
+Buurtverkeer, and from the yearly ticket to the humble perronkaartje.
+It looked very thorough, and I understood that he had treated his cycle
+the same way. But I have grave doubts! I am the more confirmed in my
+scepticism from what the landlady told me at the door. After reassuring
+her on the score of O'Neill's health, I emphasised the fact that he was
+going on a trip, and must practise Dutch by way of preparation.
+
+That was worse than all, she thought; as Mijnheer O'Neill would
+certainly come to harm. "Hij is zoo veranderd! Hè! Het is zoo eng."
+
+Yesterday he had asked her about the print of a sea-fight that her
+little boy had put up in the hall. She said it was de Ruyter; and began
+to expatiate on that hero's achievements.
+
+But he cut her short with: "Een beroemde man was hij zeker; misschien
+de grootste _water-baas_ van zijn tijd."
+
+I explained that he probably meant _zee-held_; but not remembering the
+right term in time, had taken one like it.
+
+But the landlady could not be pacified.
+
+"Het doet mij huiveren te denken dat hij op reis gaat!" she said.
+
+I was not without my apprehensions either. For he means to start out
+next week with two thousand new words.
+
+He'll probably find that such hastily acquired information is not
+without its drawbacks.
+
+But more again.
+                            Vale, vale.
+                                    As ever yours,
+                                               Phil Enderby.
+
+P. S. The Macs are gone to Bonn, where your uncle expects to find
+wonderful manuscripts. Not much fun for Kathleen though! And Terence
+will be bored to death. Why doesn't O'Neill bring him back to Holland
+and show him Amsterdam and other towns?
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+THE SURPRISES OF THE MAAS.
+
+FAIRYLAND.--IK KRIJSCH, IK FLUIT EN IK GIL.--POLYPHEMUS AND THE
+SEA-SERPENT.--CLOTHO.--GLOOM AND MYSTERY.--WHAT IS TREK?--THE SOCRATIC
+DIALOGUE.--A COSY TALK.--THE CHAT.--EVIDENCES OF HUNGER.
+
+
+"Well, well!" ejaculated O'Neill irritably. "What an inveterate old
+gossip Enderby is, to be sure!
+
+"Of course I got Terence back quite soon from Bonn, where he had
+nothing to do; and I gave him a splendid time sight-seeing in Haarlem
+and Amsterdam. I'll tell you about that, another time.
+
+But first about my run to Rotterdam, where I went one day for a little
+change I needed.
+
+The landlady was a bit peevish and hysterical, and, of course, very
+bothersome. She never quite took to the Berlitz method, as I had
+improved it; and she became grandmotherly to me from the moment I made
+that slip about the _zee-held_.
+
+The whole thing was getting on her nerves, so I gave her a rest. Took a
+day off, in fact; and went for a tour round the Rotterdam havens.
+
+I had some idea of recapitulating the old ground--the first thousand
+words, you know--whilst I should be steaming around the harbour. But as
+soon as we pushed off from the wharf and went skimming over the sun-lit
+Maas, the brilliant and animated scene wiped the new vocabulary clean
+out of my mind for the time-being; and I didn't feel at all inclined to
+dig it out of my notes.
+
+The marvellous colouring of everything held me spell-bound. It was like
+fairyland. Our boat was crowded, and a man on board pointed out the
+sights. That was the only Dutch study I got that day; for some one
+began to speak to me in English--an Amsterdammer, as it appeared, who
+told me that the grachten in Amsterdam surpassed every other spectacle
+the world had to show; and made me promise to go and see them as soon
+as I could.
+
+I asked him what he thought of the harbour we were in; but he wasn't so
+enthusiastic.
+
+Meantime it had grown darker, and a steady, cold, sea-fog drifted round
+us. It got dismally wet, as well as gloomy; and the deck dripped with
+clammy moisture. We were hardly moving, presently; and our captain kept
+the steam whistle hard at work. The sight-seers were grievously
+disappointed; and one fellow-victim informed me it would be a good
+thing if we got near land anywhere, in time to catch the last train.
+
+Horns kept booming around us, every few seconds; perky little tugs and
+immense black hulls swept by us at arm's length, piping or bellowing,
+according to their temperament and ability.
+
+The Amsterdammer and I had gone to the prow, to try and peer a little
+further into the dense curling vapour, when a siren--I think that's
+what you call the thing--gave such a sudden blood-curdling yell at our
+very elbow, it seemed as if we had trodden on the tail of the true and
+original Sea-serpent, and that the reptile was shrieking in agony.
+
+From that time on, we had sea-serpents every other minute--whole swarms
+of them--infuriated, inquisitive or resigned--soprano, alto, tenor;--all
+whining, hooting and snorting; every one trying to howl all the others
+down.
+
+Excuse my referring to it, but it was the best illustration I had yet
+got of Boyton's verbs.
+
+"Ik graauw, ik kef en ik kweel!" said one set of voices. "Ik krijsch,
+ik fluit en ik gil!" answered their rivals.
+
+But the deep boom of new-comers swept the earlier songsters out of the
+field: "Ik rammel, ik ratel en ik scheur". It was a regular chorus.
+
+"Ik gier en ik piep", squeaked the little tugs, "ik fop en ik jok".
+
+But the first musicians--the sentimental ones--wouldn't be outdone.
+They were evidently turning over their grammars very rapidly, to get
+a really melancholy selection, for in another moment their lugubrious
+snuffle pierced the fog like a knife: "Ik wee-ee-een; ik krijt; en ik
+hui-ui-ui-l-l!"
+
+There was one long-drawn-out sob, that rose and fell and rose again
+with such appalling and expressive anguish that I could have imagined
+half the Netherlands had turned into a gigantic sea-serpent, and had
+bitten off its own tongue. So human, too, was its tortured wail, that
+I instinctively thought of Polyphemus having his eye gouged out by
+Ulysses. The hero, you remember, did it with a burning pine. One has
+a horrible sympathy for Polyphemus, even though he is a monster and
+mythical.
+
+Happily our Polyphemus only gave two or three of his prize yells. Then
+he seemed to settle into sleep, away down the river somewhere.
+
+The Amsterdam-man explained to me that in his city the fog-horns were
+much more musical.
+
+This thesis was warmly contested by a Rotterdammer who had overheard
+it, and who spoke of the Capital with a distinct want of reverence.
+
+The argument soon deviated into Dutch, and I lost hold of it; but
+through a cloud of statistics and history I observed that local
+patriotism on both sides stood at fever heat.
+
+By and by, the fog thinned a little; and we crept along to a
+landing-stage, where the Amsterdammer and I climbed on shore with
+alacrity. We lost our way at first, and wandered about within earshot
+of the siren-brood, whooping and calling and taunting one another on
+the river; but my new-made friend stumbled at last on some spot he was
+acquainted with; and hastily giving me some directions, went off to his
+train.
+
+After the long Polyphemus-concert on the murky river I wasn't in much
+humour for Dutch, but I had to speak it at every corner to ask my way.
+
+In an open thoroughfare--there were some people about, but not
+many--near an archway, I came upon Clotho.
+
+Perhaps the Greek Mythology was running in my head: but there she sat.
+Old beyond words, but hale; wrapped up marvellously with head and jaws
+swathed in dim flannel, she gazed, without moving, on a table in front
+of her, spread with dried eels and other occult delicacies. As I
+approached, to enquire for the 'kortste weg naar de electrische tram',
+she didn't move a muscle. Something about her made me pause upon my
+step, and refrain from speech.
+
+No movement.
+
+But wait! One thickly muffled hand went out to some obscure eatable,
+slowly grasped it, dipped it in a sort of cup, then, still more slowly,
+brought it to her lips.
+
+Yes. She was alive; for she munched, calmly and dispassionately.
+
+The sight impressed me. It was like Fate; or an ancient priestess
+performing mysterious rites. Clotho would look like this, if Clotho
+would munch instead of spin.
+
+Meantime the inevitable butcher's boy had joined me. Two of them,
+indeed, stood at my side, curious to know what interested the
++vreemdeling+.
+
+The old lady never winced under the scrutiny, but put forth her hand
+again for another shell.
+
+There was a book-stall near, but nobody at it, as far as I could see.
+The whole street sounded hollow; and everything dripped. It made me
+shiver to look at the stone-pillars, oozy and moist, with condensed
+sea-fog trickling down. The glaring street-lamps hardly lit up the
+scene; but they showed the damp. Polyphemus gave a distant whoop, as if
+it were his last: and the Spectre munched. She hadn't once looked up.
+
+It all felt like a dream--except for the butchers' boys.
+
+"Wat doet ze--die oude mejuffrouw?" I enquired.
+
+"Ze zit te eten," was the prompt reply.
+
+"Waarom zit ze te eten daar?" I asked.
+
+"Om dat ze trek heeft!"
+
+A snigger went round the company. Evidently that reply was of the
+nature of wit; and they expected something sparkling from me in return.
+
++But+ I couldn't sparkle.
+
+"+Trek+" was unknown to me. Strange, how you can be bowled over by
+a simple word, if you've never heard it. Trekken--trok--getrokken,
+was familiar. That meant 'to pull,' 'draw,' or 'wander'.
+"Trekschuit"--"trekpot"--"trekvogel"; I had them all labelled on my
+desk in the Hague. But "trek" itself, what was that exactly? Provided
+of course, the youth were grammatical,--which I very much doubted.
+
+"Zij heeft getrokken," however, when I tried it, only raised new
+difficulties. +What+ then did she pull, and +why+?
+
+'Trekvogel' was an alluring idea to follow up, in a town where Jan
+Olieslagers' fame was universal: but common sense forbade my pursuing
+that line far.
+
+The defects of my home-made Berlitz became painfully evident. It's
+humiliating, when you have your 2000 new nouns at your fingers' ends,
+and hundreds of old ones; and yet can't understand the first thing a
++knecht+ says.
+
+But the bystanders were growing impatient; so--to withdraw gracefully--I
+enquired, "wat is _trek_?"
+
+It was probably the best retort I could have made. "Ja, wat is het?" he
+soliloquised, evidently puzzled, "Ik weet het niet. Maar ik heb altijd
+trek."
+
+"Ik ook", said a smaller boy; "in een boterham."
+
+Tongues were loosened on all sides. "Nee; in een lekker stuk worst,"
+I heard one say.
+
+"Nee; niet waar"; interrupted a brawny fellow with a brick-red face;
+"Zuurkool en spek."
+
+I nipped the unprofitable discussion in the bud by demanding, as I
+moved away: "Maar wat _is_ trek?"
+
+"Dat weet je wel," said the first fellow, the wit. "Als je te veel eet."
+
+"Nee, heelemaal niet," jeered a late-comer. "Kan je begrijpen! Maar als
+je +niets+ eet, +dan+ heb je trek!"
+
+The crowd cheered at this. He had evidently the majority with him. High
+words followed; and the controversy became general, as the protagonists
+in this psychological debate found backers, and swarmed away towards
+the centre of town.
+
+I was left alone, and Clotho looked up.
+
+She dipped a periwinkle in one of the weird cups, and held it towards
+me.
+
+"Heeft Mijnheer trek?" Would I join in the repast!
+
+"Ik? Duizendmaal verschooning!" I said, as I quickened my pace in rapid
+retreat.
+
+My confusion increased as I reflected that I had probably been urging
+my late interlocutors to "define appetite"--a thing even Aristotle could
+hardly do. Naturally the populace broke into parties--Aristotelians and
+Platonists (let us say), or into Hoekschen en Kabeljauwschen.
+
+In any case my confidence was shaken in my improved, home-made Berlitz.
+It might be splendid for travelling; but in ordinary life it didn't
+seem to cover the ground.
+
+On arriving at my lodgings I was met at the door by the landlady's son.
+He was beaming. Lately he had been working up his English, and truly
+had made giant strides.
+
+"Koot eeffening, Sir," he said; "Koot eeffening! Ai hef an little chat."
+"+I wish to have a chat+", he _seemed_ to mean.
+
+It was an odd request for a trifling practice in English; but I like to
+encourage merit, so I assured him of my willingness to have a friendly
+talk.
+
+"Oh, yes. All right," I said. "But won't you come up stairs? We have a
+few minutes before supper."
+
+"But--Ai hef +here+ an naiz little chat!"
+
+"Ah, just so. Did you perhaps have a talk with some one in English when
+I was away?"
+
+"No, sir; but ai _hef_ een chat."
+
+This was bewildering; and as he seemed puzzled, too, and always stuck
+to the same noun I investigated more fully.
+
+"You talk of a _chat_!--dat is een praatje, weet je wel?"
+
+"Nee, mijnheer, heus: het is waar. Geen praatje."
+
+We were half-way up the stairs now. "Come on", I said.
+
+"Vayt", he replied, diving into some recess. "Ai vil let see you."
+
+In an instant he was back with something under his coat. This he
+produced with the delighted exclamation: "ze little chat!"
+
+It was a bedraggled kitten that he had discovered wandering about in
+the fog and mewing piteously. "Vil you hef him? Anders, zegt moe, hij
+kan niet blijven."
+
+"I'll talk to your mother about the kitten," I answered.
+"Kitten,--that's what we call it--not chat. Maar hoor eens, jongen,
+heeft het poesje trek?"
+
+"O mijnheer, verbazend!" was the ecstatic reply; and in another three
+minutes he had a saucer of milk under the foundling's nose, and was
+watching kitty's lapping operations with a joy as keen as that of kitty
+herself.
+
+I had got what I wanted without any philosophic argument. There was the
+proof.
+
+_Trek_ is _appetite_.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+THE THUNDERSTORM.
+
+THE NORTH SEA COAST.--AN EXQUISITE DAWN.--A MORNING WALK.--BY THE
+SUMMER SEA.--LOST IN THE DUNES.--NO FOOD FOR SALE.--AN ORDINARY
+BAKER.--THE BROKEN SIESTA.--WOU JE ETEN?--BETAALD ZETTEN.--YOU DON'T
+QUITE FOLLOW.--REPARTEE UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
+
+
+I must tell you about that great walk we took from Leyden to Haarlem.
+That was just after Terence came back from Germany, wearied with waiting
+till his learned Dad would cease pottering about the museums in Bonn.
+
+He wrote to van Leeuwen in Arnhem; and urged that youth use his
+influence with the University Librarian to let Dr. MacNamara see the
+Irish manuscripts he was so keen upon. Then, if you please, my brave
+Terence thought his duties were over, as far as helping his father was
+concerned. Taking the next train for the Hague he turned up unexpectedly
+at my lodgings.
+
+That was at six in the morning, and he banged at my bedroom door till
+I was awake.
+
+"I'm back," he said: "And I'm going to carry you off on that famous
+bicycle tour of yours. Hurry up with all those papers and preparations
+and things,--and I'll be round with my bike in no time!"
+
+"Well!" I shouted through the closed door, "you may come as soon as ever
+you like; but there'll be no bicycle tour to-day. I'm not nearly ready
+yet. I've all the nouns from T to Z to learn yet; and it'll take me
+another week. Catch me leaving this neighbourhood without those nouns!
+No, my boy. But I'll take a tramp with you to the seaside, if you like."
+
+He didn't wait for my explanations but pranced off grumbling, and I
+didn't see him till noon. He was then quite willing to fall in with my
+project of a long walk--first by the strand to Noordwijk, then inland
+through the dunes, and so on to Haarlem.
+
+We only got as far as Noordwijk that evening. After a heavy miserable
+trudge by the shore, and mostly through loose sand, we were glad enough
+to put up at Huis-ter-Duin for the night. The sunset, magnificent
+though it was, could hardly banish the deep sleepiness that seized us.
+Terence, who was in better training than I, sat up smoking a while, but
+I heard him go off to his room before I fell over. All the music,
+laughter, and talk about the place, never in the slightest degree
+disturbed our slumber.
+
+I slept like a log, and awoke early, with the sound of the sea in my
+ears. It was a softly modulated, gentle murmur that seemed to call me;
+and when I looked out, the view was superb. Deep blue, almost indigo in
+hue, and calm as oil, the waves stood high on the sands. Every now and
+then a long, knife-like billow would slowly rise up for half-a-mile or
+so, poise itself for an instant, and then fall with a mighty flap, like
+a wall of slate. Away out towards the horizon the ocean gleamed a
+fairy-like blue and opal; but close at hand it had a deep, menacing
+tint that took your breath away. And all the time those slatey ledges
+of water kept languidly lifting themselves and suddenly dropping, as
+if they were alive.
+
+When I opened the window, a cool wind softly stole in--like some subtle
+elixir. I looked at my watch. It was half past four. Fired with the
+idea of having a tramp by that mysterious light, I went off and roused
+Terence--happily without terrifying the other inmates of the hotel. He
+was willing to make an early start if I could secure him enough
+breakfast.
+
+This required some diplomacy. Suddenly encountering a _knecht_ prowling
+about and collecting boots, I tried to communicate our plans to him,
+and gain his sympathy. No idiom, however, that I was acquainted with
+was equal to this strain: so I had recourse to the language of gesture
+and the display of coin. This at last induced him to bring us part of
+his own modest breakfast--a chunk of black bread and a hard-boiled
+egg--and to let us out by the front door.
+
+He kept our bags, however, and a bankbiljet, to settle the rekening
+provisionally, and as an evidence of good faith. It was a fussy business
+getting him to agree even to this, and in consequence I quite forgot
+about my dictionary and "walking-tour notes"--which were strapped up
+in the bag.
+
+Indeed, I didn't notice the neglect till we were far away from the
+hotel. But there was no Dutch needed for a long time.
+
+It was an exhilarating experience to go careering along by that weird,
+threatening sea in the fresh morning air. The scent of herbs and
+wild-flowers on the dunes greeted us when we took a turn inland: and
+the colours of everything around us kept changing with incredible
+swiftness.
+
+At first we couldn't keep our eyes off the mirror-like expanse of
+water. Its slate became steel-blue--the steel-blue deepened into purple
+shading off into amethyst, while the sky and the air all about us grew
+rosy, then saffron, then silver.
+
+Over and across the rolling hills we trudged, our spirits rising every
+instant. Why shouldn't we keep on till we got opposite Haarlem, then
+strike off east, do that city, and return by rail? Why not indeed?
+Huis-ter-Duin and its slippered knecht could settle the matter of the
+rekening and the change, by post; and we should make a day of it!
+
+So we climbed up and down along the edge of the grassy slopes, till the
+tide retired from the sands a little. There we had a delightful hour,
+along the firm damp shore. It grew sultry after a while; yet it was
+only a quarter to eight. There would be more heat yet! Alternately we
+tried the dunes and the beach--the beach and the dunes--but there was
+no shelter from the sun; and the pleasant wind had died down. After an
+other couple of hours' toil through the hot, loose sand we decided we
+had enough of the coast for the day, and followed a kind of winding
+path inland. This was a regular cart-track at first, and promised to
+lead us to some thriving village where we could have a rest. But it
+didn't. It twined round a score of scattered potatoe plots, and then
+came to an abrupt and ignominious end against a wire fence, on the top
+of a hill. No doubt we ought to have gone back and kept along the shore.
+But we were too hungry to think of returning to the desolation we had
+left. What we wanted was to see houses as soon as possible--houses
+containing eatables and cool rooms and chairs. Besides, we were as yet
+pretty confident of our geographical whereabouts; accordingly we pushed
+on for Haarlem--as we thought.
+
+Well, it was a great mistake! The map makes the dunes only a few miles
+broad at most, yet we climbed up and down for hours, and couldn't get
+clear of them.
+
+Once we saw a fisherman at a distance and we yelled to him. He answered
+"terug" very faintly, and waved both arms. We hurried to meet him, but
+not a trace of him was to be found. Though the heat was intense, after
+a while shimmery haze began to spread over the sky, and there came a
+sudden change. It got dark and cold; and the storm that had been
+threatening all day burst on us with fury. In two or three minutes we
+were drenched. There was a marvellous display of sheet lightning so
+curious and varied that for a while it diverted our attention from our
+miserable plight, as we stumbled on over soaked hillocks and sand. We
+had a good hour of this.
+
+In a dismal grove of non-descript-shrubs, we at last stumbled upon a
+trifling shelter, just as the rain was ceasing; and there we shivered
+like aspens, till the truth dawned upon us that there was a faint sound
+of human voices over the slope. "Hurrah!" we shouted. "Relief at
+last--and a chance of something to eat!"
+
+Stiff and dripping though we were, we positively bounded over the sand
+hill.
+
+Two or three small one-storied cottages came soon into view. Rushing
+into the first--it looked like a shop, and had the words _garen en
+band_ over the window--we demanded pointedly if we could get food. The
+youngish woman who ambled slowly to and fro behind the counter, said
+she had no coffee or bread for us, but we could get these things in
+Haarlem. There was a good restaurant there.
+
+"Geen ei?" I asked.
+
+No; not even an egg for sale.
+
+Very disappointed we retired, still dripping, and gloomier than ever;
+but as we left the winkel I espied a group of schoolchildren, with
+capes round their heads, dancing along merrily hand in hand. They were
+evidently coming from school. Such bright blue eyes, such plump and
+rosy cheeks suggested that food was plentiful wherever they lived.
+There must be a butcher and a baker near, I concluded; and by a happy
+inspiration I turned back to the depressing _garen en band_ shop, and
+enquired where the local baker was to be found.
+
+"Is er een baker hier?" I enquired politely of the lethargic juffrouw.
+
+She woke up immediately. "Ja, zeker!" was the prompt reply. "Net
+gisteren thuis gekomen!"
+
+This was all right, of course. Why does he come home and go away, I
+wondered. But, after all, that was a small matter. He was at home now.
+A peripatetic baker, perhaps, might be some very special and clever
+artist in pies and tarts and rich cake--and it was the humble, ordinary
+baker that we were in search of. I stated this. "Geen banket baker is
+noodig, juffrouw!" I explained. "Een gewonen baker bedoel ik--een
+gewonen alledaagschen baker. Bestaat er een hier?"
+
+She had meantime summoned two young men from a sort of den behind the
+shop, and now communicated my wishes to them with an interest and an
+animation that I hadn't expected. They led us rapidly half a mile
+across fields, and then up a little lane. The last few yards were done
+in good record time, I should say.
+
+This sympathetic promptitude we highly appreciated, as we felt now more
+and more famished, the nearer we approached provisions. We reached the
+baker's house breathless, and were ushered panting into a kind of
+waiting room. At least you couldn't call it a shop exactly.
+
+When the baker came into this apartment (by the way it was a woman,
+that turned up--a portly and middle-aged woman) we noticed that she was
+rather dishevelled, as if just awakened from a much needed siesta. I
+was sorry, but not surprised. Bakers are often that way, you know. They
+bake during the night, and sleep during the day. Thus they are rather
+drowsy and cross, if you wake them up. She looked both. There was a
+portentous frown upon her brow; and really, she seemed somewhat of the
+virago type. That made me doubly polite.
+
+"Duizendmaal vergiffenis, banketbaker!" I apologised with my best bow.
+"Het spijt mij geweldig.--Maar zult gij zoo goed willen zijn--?"
+
+"Ja ja!" she interrupted impatiently; "Waar? Heb je een rijtuig?"
+
+"Een rijtuig?" I exclaimed in bewilderment. "Nee. Ik heb geen rijtuig.
+Maar mag ik u beleefd verzoeken of U zoo goed--."
+
+"Ja, ja! Is er haast bij?" She broke in again.
+
+"Wel zeker!" I replied courteously, "Veel haast. Wij zijn verbazend
+hongerig."
+
+But she was gone, and hadn't heard the last remark. In a moment or two
+she reappeared, fully dressed, tying the strings of her bonnet.
+
+As I waited a second before repeating my request, she grew most
+unreasonably irritable, and actually stamped her foot, exclaiming
+disrespectfully: "Gaauw nouw! gaauw een beetje."
+
+"Ja baker!" I answered. "Wilt gij zoo goed zijn, twee boterhammetjes en
+twee glaasjes melk te brengen?"
+
+She stopped titivating herself at the mirror, and turning round groaned
+in a voice of horror: "Wou je eten?"
+
+"Ja," I contrived to put in, as politely as I could; "als U zoo goed
+wilt zijn."
+
+"Maar schaam jullie niet? bent jullie kinderen dat je nouw om een
+boterham moet vragen?"
+
+It was plain she was a good deal ruffled. Accordingly to appease and
+conciliate her I smiled again, and said deferentially: "Het heeft niets
+te beduiden. Wij moeten een heel klein boterhammetje gebruiken. Een
+sneedje brood zonder iets--dat is ook goed."
+
+She seemed stunned by this harmless announcement; and I deemed it
+prudent to offer her a bribe of some kind. The simplest plan was to
+promise to pay her well for any trifle we took.
+
+"Het is een kleinigheid," I told her--"niets dan een kleinigheid. Maar
+ik zal het je betaald zetten."
+
+That loosened her tongue. Her natural fluency asserted itself and
+appeared to fine advantage. But she was so needlessly excited that I
+knew there must be a misunderstanding somewhere. Accordingly to remove
+all haziness I just indicated that she had failed to grasp my meaning.
+The idiom for this I fortunately recollected. _You don't quite follow_
+was one of those choice specimens of local colour that, by frequent
+repetition, I had thoroughly imprinted on my memory.
+
+"Duizendmaal verschooning," I said heartily, "bent U soms niet goed
+snik?"
+
+The effect of this well meant apology was electrical. The woman really
+became very rude. She got pale and grabbed at a chair. As we withdrew
+unostentatiously, we noticed her springing in our direction and talking.
+It was the most fluent talk I had yet heard in Dutch. She did not
+hesitate one instant for gender, number, or case. It rained, hailed and
+stormed terrible words--werkwoorden, voorzetsels, and especially
+tusschenwerpsels.
+
+Terence and I ran.
+
+On reaching safety outside Terence asked me: "What was she angry about?"
+
+"Oh," I answered, "as likely as not it's something out of the grammar. I
+believe I didn't use the right idiom. You have to be very particular
+about these things, you see.
+
+I said vragen _voor_ een boterham, I think; and it should be vragen
+_om_. Still she made far too big a fuss over it: and I'd tell her so, if
+I could."
+
+When we got outside of her garden plot and had latched the gate behind
+us, I turned to wave our grammarian a graceful adieu.
+
+"Baker!" I said. "Banket baker! Wees niet zoo kleinzeerig. Niet zoo
+kwaalijknemend hoor! Wij zijn niet tegen je opgewassen. Maar",--and
+here I sank my voice to a confidential whisper, to make the irrelevancy
+sound as like wit as possible,--"maar, U weet nooit hoe een koe een
+haas vangt!"
+
+I still flatter myself that the exit was worthy of the occasion.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+THE DEVOTED NURSE.
+
+AN ACCIDENT.--THE SUITOR'S MISTAKE.--NO DUTCH NEEDED.--JAN'S
+INCOHERENCES.--EEN STUK OF EEN.--KITTY GIVES KOPJES.--A QUIET SLEEP.
+
+
+"Wel," continued Jack; "it was these experiences that made me begin to
+doubt the value of my Berlitz soliloquy-method. But Terence helped me
+to give the system a really good trial; and he worked as hard as I did.
+
+It was quite different with Kathleen. When she came back from Germany,
+she was keen on art, but apparently had been moping about something.
+And she refused to study any more Dutch.
+
+That was before the accident, you see. After that, she was quite angelic
+and nursed her father assiduously, and the landlady's little son, too.
+
+You know, of course, that uncle got a severe shock from a motor-bike
+along the canal. Jan who had been prowling around, to give his "chat"
+an airing, ran across just in time to push the absent-minded old
+gentleman out of the way. But the lad was thrown on the ground and
+badly hurt. Uncle pulled round soon enough--his indignation at the
+motor cyclist helped him, as he had some vague idea, if he were up and
+about, he could get the culprit arrested. But Jan grew steadily worse
+for the first week. The violent fall and the bruise were both very bad
+for the plucky youngster.
+
+Kathleen kept going back and forward, looking after the sufferers. She
+said she never could repay Jan enough for saving her father's life. It
+appears to have been a 'close shave', at the edge of that deep canal;
+and Uncle nearly had them all in.
+
+As a matter of fact, he had spent the morning with me, telling me about
+his grand 'find' of original Celtic manuscripts in Germany, and about
+van Leeuwen's kindness. I never saw him so taken with anybody! In Bonn
+he had got wind of these precious Celtic relics; and, as everything
+was closed at the University at that time of the year, he worried
+and fumed, till he met some of the authorities that knew van Leeuwen.
+Immediately he had banged off a telegram to Arnhem, requesting van
+Leeuwen's private influence; and, to his delight, that young man came
+joyfully in person. Of course he would! It was too good a chance to be
+missed. Indeed it was just the opportunity he wanted. And yet he and
+Kathleen quarrelled fiercely over trifles all the time.
+
+But I was telling you about my uncle's escape. It seems he was ambling
+along in his usual oblivious style, on the sunny side of the street,
+when he stopped (no doubt painfully near the edge of the canal) to
+note down something that occurred to him for his book. Just then a
+motor-cycle turned the corner at a fiendish speed, and was nearly over
+him. Uncle is the most helpless of mortals at such times--and he was
+stepping hurriedly into the canal, when Jan bounded across the road
+and pulled him right.
+
+The bike-tourist must have been a heartless fellow; for he never
+swerved, but bore down at full tilt on both rescuer and rescued, while
+they were still on the edge of the water.
+
+The youthful Jan, however, is both original and daring; for he turned
+the motor man aside as cleverly as if he had Boyton in his hand.
+
+He either flung himself or his cap against the advancing horror.
+Terence says it was the kitten he threw. In any case the little fellow
+did, as a last resource, try to protect both his dear kitty and the
+Engelschen Mijnheer, at some risk to himself. The "chat" was unharmed,
+but fled up an adjacent elm, whence it had to be coaxed down at dusk
+with endless saucerfuls of milk.
+
+This task Kathleen took on herself, after we discovered that Dr.
+MacNamara, though shaken, was not injured. Nothing would have pleased
+you better than to have seen her beaming face as she brought the
+trembling little kitty to Jan's bedside. She didn't know a word of
+Dutch; but managed to communicate quite easily, by signs, with Jan's
+mother, whom she promised to come often and see.
+
+We all assumed, at first, that the little fellow had escaped scot-free;
+but, in a day or two, he was in high fever, and unconscious. He had got
+a contusion, the doctor said, and would be confined to his cot for
+weeks.
+
+It was marvellous to see how Kathleen comforted the poor mother,
+without either grammar, Polite Dialogue, or the use of Het.
+
+I grew quite jealous and envious. Here was I who had been slaving at
+syntax and accidence for weeks, and I couldn't carry on an intelligent
+conversation for two minutes without deviating into metaphysics, or
+getting into a quarrel; while my cousin (who said she hated Dutch)
+could get through the niceties of sick-room nursing, and the subtleties
+of heartening up the poor hysterical mother, with the utmost ease and
+success.
+
+And I knew for certain that she couldn't go through the Present
+Optative of 'ik graauw, ik kef en ik kweel', or give one of the rules
+for gij (lieden)--no, not to save her life. But she was never at a
+loss, for all that. A more devoted nurse, indeed, I cannot imagine.
+
+At the crisis, when the little sufferer was really in danger, she used
+to watch by him hours at a stretch, to relieve the helpless mother.
+
+The serious turn came all at once; and no aid was at hand. Jan was in
+pain, and wandered in his talk, crying out that the motor-fiets was
+hunting him into the canal, for having rescued a +vreemdeling+; and
+pouring forth such a torrent of elementary English and Boyton-Dutch as
+surprised us all.
+
+I fancy it was, in part, my early translations he had treasured up; for
+some of my mistakes about handcuffs and dogcollars figured amid the
+incoherences; and it was pitiable to hear him plead for a +zie beneden+
+to wrap round his injured arm--already bandaged as tightly as he could
+bear it.
+
+Then he kept ringing the changes on an expression I must have used in
+argument with his mother the day I persuaded her to keep his bedraggled
+foundling.
+
+"Het is geen menigte poesjes, zegt Mijnheer; het is maar een stuk of
+een. Heus, moe, laat hem blijven. Niet bang, hoor, schattie, je bent
+maar een stuk of een! Pas op, Mijnheer, daar komt de fiets!" And so on
++da capo+.
+
+So wild and restless was he, the second evening of the fever, that we
+had to summon the doctor unexpectedly, quite late.
+
+Yes; his condition was disquieting, and we must get him to sleep. It
+was largely a matter of nursing, at the moment; new medicine was sent
+for; his head was to be kept cool; and only one watcher was to remain
+in the room. Above all, no noise. If the English juffrouw, who seemed
+to understand the lad's state, would consent to sit up to two or three
+o'clock, so much the better. The excited mother could have a rest
+meantime. Otherwise she would be fit for nothing next day.
+
+But no sooner had the good doctor softly closed the front door, than my
+landlady declared it was her intention to watch all night.
+
+Kathleen was at her wits' end. In vain did she make signs and talk
+emphatic English in her high voice, or try coaxing with a bit of the
+brogue. All her feminine free-masonry failed to communicate the
+faintest idea to the mother.
+
+Uncle MacNamara, who had been waiting to take his daughter back to the
+Doelen, tried moral suasion in his own particular brand of German, and
+even in other tongues.--Terence says his father recited a well-known
+passage from the Iliad in his eagerness to be persuasive!--But all
+without avail. She wouldn't heed anybody; and she wouldn't go; she sat
+close to the cot, rocking violently to and fro, and moaning "Mijn eigen
+kind! mijn eigen kind!"
+
+The little fevered face was puckered with a new perplexity at the sound
+of all this grief and the familiar voice.
+
+"Moeder," he cried, "moederr! Daar komt ie weer! Hij wou me in 't water
+gooien. Moeder, vasthoue, hoor!"
+
+It was most painful; for my landlady's impending hysterics were making
+the lad worse every moment.
+
+"Is poesje ook weggeloopen?" he said presently. A happy thought struck
+Kathleen. She stole downstairs, and presently returned with the 'chat',
+which was purring vigorously and giving 'kopjes'.
+
+As she placed the soft furry creature in Jan's hands, he stopped
+moaning and stroked it joyfully. "Dag, Kitty!" he said with delight.
+"Ben je terug?"
+
+Apparently he thought it was I who had restored the wanderer, for he
+explained: "Geen praatje, mijnheer: Zat is mine naiz litle chat."
+
+Then, exhausted and satisfied, he dropped into a sound sleep.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+GOSSIP AND DIPLOMACY.
+
+THE DISCOURAGED SUITOR.--WILL KATHLEEN STUDY DUTCH?--AN INTERESTING
+COACH.--THE DIPLOMATIC EPISTLE.--THE BRINK OF A ROMANCE.--WELL EARNED
+REPOSE.
+
+
+The strain was over; and the little lad slumbered peacefully,--until
+dawn, as it proved. We got the mother gradually quieted, and at last
+induced to go off to bed, leaving Kathleen in charge for the night.
+About half-past-one, Terence and I, growing hungry, extemporised a sort
+of pic-nic in the kitchen; but Kathleen wouldn't touch anything we
+brought her.
+
+It was then I began to notice how grave she was, and silent.
+
+But I must say, nobody could be more devoted than she was to the
+youthful invalid.
+
+He awoke rather early after his timely sleep, but much calmer. And--a
+good sign--he had a healthy 'trek', which we were gratified to see in
+operation upon 'beschuit' and 'melk', before his mother arrived to
+resume the reins of authority.
+
+As we escorted Kathleen to her hotel in the cool of the morning, we
+found her singularly irresponsive, not to say depressed; and I somehow
+got wind of the fact that van Leeuwen, who had motored up to the Hague,
+on hearing of her father's accident, had been prowling about the Vieux
+Doelen ever since. He had visited Dr. MacNamara almost every day; but
+Kathleen had kept studiously aloof.
+
+"I know he likes father," she said, "and I'm glad he came so often to
+see him. Not very interesting, otherwise! In any case he has suddenly
+vanished into space!"
+
+The evening before, when she was on her way to my landlady's to watch by
+the sick boy, van Leeuwen had met her right in front of the Mauritshuis.
+But she had treated him with such stately indifference, and greeted his
+remarks with such frigid courtesy, that the good-natured fellow was
+really hurt. He had in fact returned the same evening to Arnhem.
+
+Kathleen said she was very glad, except for her father's sake. But she
+didn't give one the impression of being enthusiastic about it, and I
+drew my own conclusions.
+
+On reaching the Doelen, we found a hasty scrawl from the very man we
+had been talking of--van Leeuwen--inviting Terence and myself to a
+cycling tour in his neighbourhood.
+
+"Well, then, I'll go next Friday," Terence broke out; "at least, if
+you're ready then, Jack. We'll have a grand time. Dad is all right now;
+and that funny little kid is on the mend. So we can go with a clear
+conscience. Say, yes."
+
+"Ah, that's like you boys", said Kathleen banteringly, but without the
+ghost of a smile, "to go cycling about, enjoying yourselves, no matter
+what happens to others! I'm still anxious about that child. And I do
+wish I understood him better when he talks."
+
+"As for that", I interrupted, "I'll give you the key to it, in an
+instant. Jan's reminiscences are all about my Dutch. Well, I'll lend
+you my diary, and the most entertaining Grammar in Holland. Besides,
+I've written a monograph on obvious blunders, English into Dutch. Read
+these, now, when you're tending this convalescent boy-hero of yours.
+He'll understand them, I'll be bound; and it'll shake him up, and do
+you a world of good yourself."
+
+"What a silly cousin, to be sure!" she replied. "You forget, sir, I
+need some one to explain all your double-Dutch. Get me a 'coach' now,
+a competent one, who knows everything, and I'll give your booklet a
+trial."
+
+"Done!" I said, as we parted.
+
+And I held her to it. My diary kept her amused for a couple of days, as
+she watched in the sick-room. It roused her out of her depression, and
+she got into the way of reading things to Jan as he recovered.
+
+She couldn't remain quite smileless; but grew interested enough in
+Dutch to demand my monograph and--above all--the Grammar!
+
+"You shall have them both," I assured her,--"the booklet on the spot;
+and the Grammar, when I get as far as Arnhem and don't need to use it
+for a while."
+
+"Couldn't I have it sooner? I'm dying with curiosity to see that awful
+book. Or, when you are there, and any of your friends are coming to the
+Hague, just send it with them."
+
+"Yes. There's a 'coach' coming up in a day or two. I'll send it along."
+
+I fancied her eyes gave a bit of a flicker. But she was meek and
+friendly: so I knew it was all right. She hadn't asked what kind of
+coach. But she's intelligent.
+
+That very instant I went home and wrote van Leeuwen that we--Terence
+and I--were starting next day, by train, for Arnhem, whence we should
+have a run through Gelderland.
+
+There was no note-paper in the house, but I couldn't wait. So I a
+penned what I had to say on a series of visiting cards,--numbering
+them: 1, 2, 3 up to 10, and enclosing them in a portly yellow envelope.
+It was the only thing I had. I was pleased to notice its impressive
+aspect, as that would prevent its getting lost readily.
+
+For I attached much importance to that communication.
+
+In it I prepared van Leeuwen's mind, indirectly and circuitously, for
+apprehending the idea that Miss MacNamara was now deeply interested in
+Dutch; and was studying it to help her in nursing that sick boy. Also
+that, as she had grown much too sombre of late with the responsibilities
+she had assumed, we were trying to brighten her up. When the lad was
+quite well, we should all do the Friesland meres, before we returned
+to Kilkenny. But not for a while yet.
+
+And so on. I hinted as distantly as I could, that he had motored back to
+Arnhem a trifle too soon. We were _all_ sorry he had left so suddenly.
+Even yet, if he would leave his camera at home--the one with the loud
+click--and if he wouldn't be too exclusively immersed in Celtic
+manuscripts, and avoided arguing about the Suffragettes, when he did
+meet with the MacNamara family, there was no reason to suppose that his
+offences were beyond pardon. All this in shadowy outline--for fear he
+would motor up like a Fury, and either break his neck on the way, or
+spoil everything by premature action.
+
+I made the haze quite thick, here and there, on the visiting
+cards--their form lent itself to obscurity--and I told him I should
+see him without fail within twenty-four hours.
+
+"I might have to ask a favour at his hands about a grammar.
+
+Terence was well: the Doctor was well, went to Leyden daily to the
+Library. We expected to reach Velperweg toward midday. Don't be out."
+
+I posted the yellow missive with my own hands, and reckoned out by the
+'bus-lichting' plate, that it would be collected that night.
+
+"Tour or no tour, to-morrow," I said to myself, heaving a sigh of
+relief, after my race to the pillar-box; "We're on the brink of a
+romance, if the protagonists only knew it. A little bad Dutch now seems
+all that is required. And we can rely on Boyton."
+
+Queer, when you think of it, that you sometimes hold people's destinies
+in the hollow of your hand!
+
+However, I didn't philosophise much, but got to sleep as soon as ever I
+could,--content as from a good day's work.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+A STUDY IN CHARACTER.
+
+AN UNWELCOME INTERRUPTION.--THE LINGUIST AND THE SATELLITE.--THE
+BACKSLIDER.--DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?--HE MEANS THE EAST END.--WAKE UP,
+JOHN BULL.--GOUDA HISTORICAL.--FOREIGNERS DON'T GET THE HANG OF IT.--A
+CONFIDENT YOUNGSTER.--AN ENGLISH UNCLE FOR CLAAS.--DRAM-DRINKING AT
+EIGHT?--WUIF ES, OOM!--HIS BARK IS WORSE THAN HIS BITE.
+
+
+Next morning we were up at dawn to be in time for the first express. We
+cycled to the station; but a row of market-boats, that had reached the
+one and only canal-bridge on our route, kept us waiting till they filed
+past; and we missed our train.
+
+"Choost kon!" exclaimed a porter cheerfully, as he took our cycles.
+"Day-train choost away--von--two--meenit--ako!"
+
+"Never mind", I rejoined. "There are plenty of day-trains left. It's
+early yet."
+
+As he looked doubtful, I added in the vernacular: "Wij zijn in goeje
+tijd voor den bommel; nie-waar? Zes vier en veertig."
+
+"Net, mijnheer", he replied, grinning appreciation of my Dutch, as he
+led the way to the +loket+.
+
+There were no difficulties there. You merely had to say. "Twee enkele
+reis, Arnhem. Tweede klasse. Gewone biljetten," and there you were. And
+these '+gewone biljetten+' made the forwarding of the cycles simplicity
+itself.
+
+Duly provided with the forthcoming +fiets-papiertjes+ we ensconced
+ourselves in a non-smoker, and--to while away the time--rehearsed our
+Traveller's Dialogue. That is the system I had made out long since, but
+now partly forgotten. Terence had benefited by my tuition, and could
+now keep the ball rolling, with more or less relevant remarks, whilst
+I enumerated the parts of a train, and talked about tickets and towns.
+
+So smoothly did our conversation run that we were tempted to repeat
+it with variations; and we were just in the middle of as fine an
+elocutionary practice as ever you heard, when there was a scramble on
+the platform; and in there bounded into our compartment--just as the
+train began to move off--three tourists, hot and breathless!
+
+They were Englishmen,--London shopkeepers in a small way, I guessed,
+from their talk. Two of them, father and son, seemed a bit hectoring
+and dictatorial; the third was an admiring satellite. For very shame's
+sake Terence and I didn't like to drop our Dialogue as if we were
+culprits; so we lowered our voices, and went through it to the bitter
+end.
+
+Our new companions listened for a moment, and the truculent father said,
+"Neouw, there y'are, Tom! wot's hall that tork abeout? You kneouw the
+lingo."
+
+Master Tom--he was about nineteen--posed, apparently, as a linguist. He
+knew the language all right, he said. "It was kind of debased German.
+He had picked it up from a boy at school. It was the sime to 'im as
+Hinglish."
+
+"Wottaw thiy siyin, Tom?" said the father.
+
+"Oh," muttered Tom, "abeout the kaind 'v dai it is, an', hall thet
+rot. But no use listenin' to them. They tork such a bad patois, an'
+hungrimmentikil."
+
+The satellite looked impressed. "D'ye tork 't 's wull 's French an'
+Juh'man?" he asked.
+
+"Hall the sime to me", said Tom. "The sime 'z Hinglish."
+
+The satellite's awe deepened. Presently, however, he spied the cattle
+in the fields as we sped along. He pointed them out to Tom. "Fine
+ceouws, miy wu'd!"
+
+"Humph! better in Bu'kshire!" replied the linguist.
+
+In a minute or two he broke out again: "Lot 'v ceouws in a field here,
+Tom!"
+
+"Faugh!" said Tom; "faw mo' 'n Essex!"
+
+But the man of humility had an eye for landscape, and couldn't be
+repressed.
+
+"Ho, crikkie", he exclaimed, "look at that meadow an' canal. Ain't it
+stunnin'?"
+
+But the father came to his son's rescue in defence of Old England.
+"Yeou jist go deouwn Nawf'k wiy! Faw better th'n this wretched 'ole!"
+
+The satellite evidently felt reproved for his lack of patriotism, for
+he subsided immediately. But he couldn't help himself. You might see
+by the way he looked out of the window that he was in ecstasies over
+the glowing panorama before him, in spite of Norfolk and Essex and the
+contempt of his fellow-travellers.
+
+Meantime Terence, fuming and in disgust, had buried himself in the
+columns of Tit-Bits. The truculent one recognised the familiar weekly,
+and drawing his son's attention to both reader and paper he announced
+quite audibly; "'E can read Hinglish. 'E looks hintelligent."
+
+Advancing half way across the carriage, he cleared his throat, and
+addressed Terence at the top of his voice.
+
+"Do you--a hem!--a hem!--do you--_speak Hinglish?_"
+
+One could have heard the last two words in the next compartment.
+
+Terence looked up; and I saw by the twinkle in his eye what he was
+going to do.
+
+"Hein?" he interrogated with a nasal whoop like a subdued trumpet. He
+had learnt this at school from his French teacher and was a profiscient
+at rendering it accurately. It gave an unconventional flavour to his
+manner--which was just what he wished.
+
+"Hein?" he trumpeted again, with an air of amiable curiosity.
+
+"I hawskt--do you--hem!--_speak_--_Hinglish?_"
+
+"Ze Engels Langwitch? Yes: I shpeak him--von leetle bit. You alzóo?"
+
+"Hi 'm 'n Englishman," said the truculent one proudly, a trifle taken
+aback.
+
+"Zoo?" replied Terence. "Ach zoo. Ja. Jawohl. Zoo gaat 't.
+Beauti-ful--lang-witch! Beauti--ful!" he enunciated with painful
+distinctness and many twitches of his face.
+
+All this fell in with the tourists' preconceived ideas of foreign
+utterance. They exchanged glances.
+
+"You kin mike yors'ff hunderstood, hall raight," interposed the
+linguist. "Were you ever in London."
+
+"Oh, yes," answered my cousin slowly, counting off upon his fingers.
+"Alzoo--von--two--tree--time--Mooch peoples--in Londe."
+
+"Did you like London?" queried Truculence Senior.
+
+"Londe?--No! No--boddy like Londe.--Fery ugly! Mooch smoke--alzoo
+fogk.--Men see nozzing. Mooch poor peoples--No boots."
+
+"Not like London!! Why London's the gritest city in the wu'ld."
+
+"I pity me mooch--for London peoples."
+
+"Let'm aleoun, gov'ner," said the linguist, furious. "It's the Heast
+End 'e's got in 'is 'ed."
+
+"But the Heouses 'v Pawl'mint--and the Tride?" reasoned the father,
+reluctant to abandon the controversy.
+
+"Houses Parliament?--nozzing!" said Terence recklessly. "Trade?--alzoo
+nozzing! American man hef all ze trade. Fery clever. Alzoo German man.
+Fery clever."
+
+That was a clincher. Terence had amply avenged their contempt of the
+scenery they were passing through.
+
+"Let the bloomin' ass aleoun", cried Truculence junior. "'E deoun't
+kneouw wot 'e's torkin' abeout."
+
+But the shot had gone home. The papers had been full of "Wake up, John
+Bull!" of late, and he felt uncomfortable. Yet though we relapsed into
+silence, it wasn't for long. For soon the senior member of the trio
+got very exasperated with a local railway-guide that he had been
+consulting. "Bit of a muddle that!" he cried contemptuously, flinging
+the booklet on the seat. "Cawn't mike 'ed or tile of it!"
+
+He turned to my cousin: "Can you tell me 'ow far it is to Gooday--or
+Goodee?"
+
+Terence replied briskly in appalling English: "Goodee--I know-not. Zat
+iss nozzing. Good-day, zat is Goejen-dag!"
+
+"Look 'ere," said the tourist; "'Ere you aw!" pointing to the name of
+the place on his Cook's ticket.
+
+"Oh," said Terence, getting so foreign as to be scarcely intelligible.
+"Zat-iss--Gouda. Beaut-ti-ful city!" And he rolled his eyes in
+apparent awe at the magnificence of that unpretentious market-town.
+"Ex-qui-seet!"
+
+"Ow far is it?" queried his interlocutor. "Ow long, in the trine--to
+Gouda?"
+
+"Alzoo," returned my cousin, purposely misunderstanding him. "Yes; ferry
+long. Long times. Ferry old ceety. Much years. Tree--four--century!
+Historique!"
+
+"Yes, yes," said the impatient traveller. "But--wen--d'we--arrive? get
+there--you kneouw--?"
+
+"You vil arrivé," pronounced Terence in the same baby-English,
+"haff--of--ze--klok."
+
+"Hawf 'n eour; that wot 'e's drivin' et," grumbled the Linguist.
+
+They kept on asking questions and criticising us to our faces, when
+they talked together. Our dress, our appearance, our complexions were
+all adjudged to be woefully foreign; and they got so patronising that
+I had to put in an odd word, in real English, to Terence, now and again,
+just to prevent them going too far. Imperceptibly conversation became
+general; and as I forced Terence out of his assumed ignorance of
+English, the surprise of the tourists deepened into dismay, for they
+noticed we were talking more and more quickly, and idiomatically as
+well.
+
+"Hi siy!" whispered the satellite, "they're learnin' Hinglish from hus!
+I'm blest hif thiy weount soon be nearly 's good 's we are!"
+
+"Never you fear," said young Conceit. "Furriners never git the 'ang of
+it."
+
+"Never," corroborated Truculence.
+
+But the open criticising of our appearance was at an end.
+
+Our companions looked anything but conciliatory when a crowd of rustics
+poured into the carriage at one of the stations. It was some sort of
+market at Gouda; and the bommel was crammed now. Finally the guard
+scurried along, and half hoisted, half pushed a peasant woman with her
+three children into the compartment.
+
+It was odd to see Truculence rise and help the little ones in; and
+odder still to see the children smile up into that formidable face,
+when they took their seats.
+
+I noticed the twinkle in his eye, however, as he watched the bairnies
+trying to scramble to the window. He was evidently much interested in
+a bright little boy of seven with dreamy eyes, who was bent on amusing
+himself; and I could see that he wanted badly to shake hands with
+him and his tot of a sister, and ask them their names. He evidently
+regretted his inability to speak Dutch; but he made up for his silence
+by reaching the boy the window-strap, with a nod of comradeship. The
+little fellow took it eagerly and, after playing with it a moment or
+two, slid off his seat and actually climbed up beside Truculence (the
+scorner of everything non-British) and pushing Truculence to one side,
+looked out of Truculence's window.
+
+So surprisingly passive was my severe compatriot at all this that I
+hazarded a guess, and said: "You have a boy of five at home?"
+
+He stopped short clearing the pane for his tiny companion, and sat
+stock-still. It might have been a statue that was beside me so little
+did he move. Not a sound in answer to my question!
+
+Quickly I glanced at him.
+
+Oh, I could have bitten off my tongue when I saw that man's face! It
+was drawn and white, and not at all like the scornful censor's of a
+few minutes before.
+
+He continued staring out of the window a moment; then he turned and
+said quietly: "I 'ad--a little fair haired fellow--a year ago.....
+'E was six.... An' the born image of thet kiddie there."
+
+Here he stroked the kiddie's head, which was now glued to the glass in
+an eager endeavour to see a passing train.
+
+"'E used to be that fond of machinery, too," he continued, opening a
+city bag and bringing out a diminutive flying-machine, a "twee-dekker"
+that he had evidently bought in the Hague. "I got it, 'cos it minded me
+of the things my boy used to pliy with. But I've nobody to give it to.
+
+May I as well give it to this kid. Tell 'is mother 'e's to keep it.
+Tell 'er that I'm 's +hold uncle from Hingland+."
+
+I did my best. Claas grasped the situation at once, as far as the
+twee-dekker was concerned. The mother was slower. Consternation and
+politeness took away her speech for an instant, but she soon recovered
+and put Claas through his drill.
+
+"Oh mijnheer, hij is zoo bij de hand!"
+
+Then she overwhelmed us all with family reminiscences, which none of us
+understood a word of, but which could not be stopped. It was a relief
+to get to Gouda; and the tension of our feelings was pleasantly relaxed
+by observing the profound disgust that mantled the Londoner's brow,
+when after helping the children on to the platform, he was accosted by
+a vendor of local dainties, who loudly insisted on selling Goudsche
+Sprits to the company. "'Ere's a Johnny wants the kiddies an'all of us
+to liquor up--on neat spirits--before hight o'clock in the mo'nin'!
+Shime, I call it."
+
+Claas had to say 'Good-bye' to his new uncle, and we watched proceedings
+from our window. The Linguist ignored the adieu completely; but the
+Satellite manfully backed up the father, and shook hands all round. A
+knot of porters gathered to seize the luggage of the big Englishman,
+who stood, masterful and bored, in the midst of the hubbub. His jaw and
+chin were those of Rhadamanthus; but his eyes were soft as they rested
+on the boyish figure descending the stairs with his baby-sister.
+Claas was waving a small hand to his new uncle who had given him the
+Twee-dekker; but his new uncle was not waving anything to him. So
+Claas stopped short, and cried at the top of his voice: "Wuif es oom!
+wui--uif es, nouw! Je moet wuife!"
+
+"Wot's 'e up to, the young rescal?" he asked me.
+
+"I believe he wants you to make a sign of goodbye. It's always done
+here," I replied.
+
+Well, he produced, from some place or other, a brilliant jubilee
+handkerchief--he was a dressy man and had plenty of coloured things--and
+shook it with both hands to his tiny friend. And the last I saw of him,
+as the train steamed on towards Utrecht, was, his waving of this silk
+banner to the little boy on the steps; the stern lips were relaxed into
+a smile; the defiant face was quite wistful as he repeated: "The young
+rescal!"
+
+Here the Goudsche sprits seller, in his tour up and down the platform,
+approached the burly Londoner again, and seeing him now in an
+unexpectedly melting mood, at once proffered his delicacies with noisy
+persistence.
+
+"Goudsche sprits! Goudsche sprits! Sir," he bawled in the Englishman's
+face, holding out a packet.
+
+Truculence was quite glad of the interruption. He blew his nose
+violently on his marvellous handkerchief, and turned upon the local
+merchant with a glare of indignation.
+
+"Get along! How dare you? D'ye take me for a drunkard?"
+
+"Formidable customer that!" whispered Terence at my elbow. "Still I
+think his bark is worse than his bite."
+
+"Not a doubt of it," I replied. "And there are more of his kind."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+BELET!
+
+WELKE MIJNHEER?--AN AANSLAGBILJET.--A MYSTERIOUS OBSTACLE.--WIJ KRIJGEN
+BELET.--IS MIJNHEER GEENGAGEERD?--EEN SPOEDIGE RESTAURATIE.
+
+
+We got on famously at Utrecht and at the Arnhem station. In less time
+than it takes to tell it we were mounted on our cycles with our bags in
+front of us, and ready for the road.
+
+"This is fine!" exclaimed Terence. And indeed it was. Charmed by the
+ease with which we had got along so safely, I felt a trifle elated over
+our linguistic victories, and had already begun to dream of fresh fields
+to conquer, when we drew near van Leeuwen's villa on the Velperweg--a
+lovely spot.
+
+We dismounted to make sure we were right, and then walked briskly up
+the avenue.
+
+The door was opened by a timid-looking servant, who said: "Er is
+belet."
+
+It was the first time I had met the expression; yet it sounded oddly
+familiar. Ah, of course. For the last ten days I had been studying
+_biljetten_ out of the railway-guide. There was apparently a slight
+provincialism in her way of the rendering the liquid in the middle of
+the word, but this didn't matter. +There was a ticket+, then. Puzzling,
+very.
+
+"Ja?" I said tentatively.
+
+"Er is belet," she repeated. The intonation was decisive; but as
+her manner was expectant, I took it for a question, had we tickets?
+Queer, certainly. Yes; I assured her we had,--"gewone biljetten,
+retour,--geldig voor éen dag."
+
+She shifted her ground and said, "_Mijnheer heeft belet._"
+
+Now you know how hard it is to be sure what person servants are talking
+about when they say Mijnheer. Did she mean me or her master? "Welke
+Mijnheer?" I asked. "Ben ik mijnheer, of is Mijnheer mijnheer?"
+
+Raising her voice she announced deliberately, but with increasing
+irritation: "_Mijnheer van Leeuwen--heeft--belet._"
+
+"Aha", I whispered to Terence, "It's my big letter she's talking about.
+Well, I'm glad it came in time".
+
+"Uitstekend!" I hastened to say. "Dat biljet is van mij. Dus mijnheer
+verwacht mij, niet waar?"
+
+She nervously closed the door a bit. "Ik heb al gezaid--vanmorgen heeft
+mijnheer _expres belet gegeven_."
+
+"Mag ik het hebben, dan", I enquired politely; "Mijn brief--dat
+geschreven biljet?"
+
+"Hé?" she said, visibly relieved, opening the door widely as she spoke.
+"Neem mij niet kwalijk, Mijnheer. Ik wist niet dat u van de belasting
+was. Komt u om het beschrijvingsbiljet?"
+
+She retreated a step, timidly, into the hall, and glanced at an elderly
+butler, who in silence had been standing at a discreet distance
+listening to our colloquy. The butler moved forward, and in an
+apologetic tone murmured, "Mijnheer, het beschrijvingsbiljet is nog niet
+klaar. Of komt u met een aanslagbiljet?"
+
+As I had a newspaper in my hand full of talk about a 'moordaanslag' I
+repudiated the latter idea indignantly. "Geen denken aan!" I said.
+
+The butler came out and stood on the steps, enquiring "Is U soms een
+schatter."
+
+Schatter? (Schat, a treasure; schatter, a _treasurer_. I reasoned.)
+"Wel nee: geen schatter ben ik, alleen Eerlijk Secretaris van de
+Studenten-Club".
+
+In the hall a loopmeisje and a seamstress stood transfixed with
+curiosity. How could I get this mad interview terminated?
+
+The deferential butler began to grow suspicious.
+
+"Komt U niet van de belasting?"
+
+"Ik weet het niet," I replied.
+
+That was enough.
+
+"Mijnheer geeft belet altijd 's morgens," he said, adding, evidently
+with reference to my eerlijk secretaris. "Wij zijn allemaal eerlijk
+hier!"
+
+We appeared to be dismissed!
+
+"Terence," I said quickly; "Look if b-e-l-e-t is in the dictionary.
+They always hark back to that."
+
+In a minute he gave a mild shout: "It's here; it means _hindrance_. Ah,
+I see. Van Leeuwen is hindered seeing us. Hadn't we better go?"
+
+"De belet is niet erg, hoop ik?" I said to the servant; "ik hoop dat
+Mijnheer spoedig beter zal worden, als het een ziekte is."
+
+Now at last we had mastered the mysteries of belet? No such thing!
+
+Turning to go, I thought I might as well enquire when van Leeuwen could
+be seen. "Wanneer kan ik soms Mijnheer zien?" Her reply confounded me:
+"Vandaag of morgen, maar U moet +belet vragen+."
+
+Vragen! surely not ask for an obstacle. "U bedoelt +weigeren+, niet
+waar?" I suggested.
+
+"Nee: belet vragen, anders zal mijnheer u niet ontvangen."
+
+"Oh Terence!" I exclaimed. "This is too awful! +He+ has this obstacle;
+he has given it to us; now +we+ must +ask it again+. And I don't even
+know what it is!"
+
+"Take care, Jack. Don't ask anything else, or you'll get us into a
+worse mess."
+
+"One moment," I said, appealing to the stolid butler. "Moet ik
+verzoeken om weggestuurd te worden? Of wat?"
+
+"Ja Mijnheer, ik verzoek jullie maar weg te gaan. Alstublieft!"
+
+The solemn man looked like an archbishop. He cleared his throat and
+added courteously: "Maar, als U Mijnheer van Leeuwen wil spreken, moet
+U belet +laten vragen+. Anders +krijgt+ U belet als U komt."
+
+"Schei uit!" I cried in dismay. "Terence, let us fly! for my brain
+won't stand it."
+
+"No, no!" he interposed hastily. "Don't be silly or hysterical, now.
+Look here. I've been working the thing out in my head and think I can
+see some sense in it. Perhaps it's all very simple. Van Leeuwen may be
+only occupied for the moment, and so can see us if we wait. Just ask if
+they mean that he's merely engaged. He mayn't be sick at all. There's
+the word for _engaged_."
+
+And he reached me the dictionary with this thumb opposite:
+_geengageerd_, _verpanden_, _verloofd_.
+
+Yes, I thought. There was wisdom in his calm suggestion, though really
+I was sick making these curious enquiries. But it seemed plain sailing
+now. So with an ingratiating smile I just asked in a matter of fact
+sort of way: "Mijnheer is soms geengageerd? Is het wel?"
+
+"Verloofd?" I added taking the next word, as there was no manner of
+response forthcoming to the first question.
+
+"Verpanden?" whispered Terence with his eye on the dictionary.
+
+The company--there were some six of them now clustering round the
+butler for protection--retreated hastily into the recesses of the big
+hall, and left that majestic man to shut the door. This he did without
+delay, saying, somewhat nervously, "Maak dat jullie weg gaat!"
+
+There was nothing left for us to do but to beat a dignified retreat.
+
+I made it as dignified as possible by, expressing our best wishes for
+van Leeuwen's speedy recovery.
+
+"Komplimenten aan Mijnheer, hoor; een spoedige restauratie!"
+
+We cycled off.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+THE DAY-TRAIN.
+
+LOST IN THE WOOD.--STOPT DE TRAM OP EEN WENK?--PRAKISEERE.--MY DUTCH
+BREAKS DOWN.--THE TRAIN THAT NEVER STOPS.--MET HANGENDE POOTJES--RE
+INFECTA.
+
+
+We had a delightful spin along the Velperweg.
+
+Dismounting three or four times to admire choice 'bits' of scenery, we
+were enticed on and on, and followed a side way that rose over a gentle
+slope. From the ridge of this acclivity we could watch the cloud
+shadows, violet and purple, sweeping over wide moors, and by their
+subtle contrasts bringing out the soft shimmering of the distant
+sunlight. On the horizon we made out the river and some hill-tops
+marked on our maps. Terence was confident he saw Nijmegen; but pushing
+on to get a still finer view, we came to grief in crossing a heather
+"brae". At least I did. The front wheel was wrenched to one side; and
+we had to foot it all the way to Velp. There having left both machines
+at a cycle-mender's, we started for a long tramp.
+
+That was a grand mistake, for we went too far. There were other ranges
+of wooded hills to be climbed, and the air was exhilarating. The time
+passed quickly, so it was late in the afternoon before we knew. Feeling
+more or less famished, we ventured on a short cut through the "Onzalige
+Bosch"; but soon were hopelessly lost. It was a task to get on the main
+road.
+
+Indeed we took several wrong turnings apparently, for they seemed--it
+was hard to get our proper orientation--to bring us back to the same
+neighbourhood always. But at last we came to a line of wooded hills,
+and discovered a cart track that led us to a real high-way. This
+high-way was a magnificent affair with high over-arching trees; and on
+it, to our great relief, there were tram-rails!
+
+Help was near at hand. We put our best foot foremost, so to speak, and
+hurried forward looking in the dusk for a _halte_. Perhaps we may have
+passed some _halten_, but we didn't notice any; and as we were fagged
+out, I was glad to come upon a group of workmen who, I imagined, could
+tell me about the tram. The question I wanted to get solved was simple.
+Did the tram stop merely at the official _halten_, or would the driver
+pull up anywhere he got a passenger? If the bye-laws of this particular
+tramway allowed the tram to stop and pick up pedestrians anywhere all
+along the line, we were quite safe; we should just sit down on the
+roadside and rest. We shouldn't walk another step.
+
+The men were shovelling away at fallen leaves, so I accosted them in my
+friendliest Dutch and said: "Stop de tram overal?" As this was greeted
+with the customary "_blief?_" I tried to be more explicit. "Stop de tram
+op een wenk of een uitroepteeken? Of stopt hij alleen op de halten?"
+
+This puzzled them all exceedingly; and one elderly man mopped his brow
+with his handkerchief and said, "Ik mot es eve prakiseere."
+
+With that he stabbed his spade into the sod at his foot and leaned on
+the top of it with both arms, his eye fixed the while on me. I didn't
+care for the performance, as his stare was discomfitingly steady; but I
+allowed him for a while to prakiseere undisturbed.
+
+Indeed I couldn't even guess what he was trying to do. It looked like
+an exercise in philosophic meditation or an attempt to hypnotise me on
+the spot, and as he seemed in no hurry to give me the information I
+desired, there was nothing for it but ask one of the other road menders.
+
+Selecting the most intelligent looking of them. I said "Kijk es, baas;
+houdt de tram op, op een wuiving van een zakdoek? Of als men teekent met
+een paraplu?"
+
+This second functionary shook his head sadly, and leaned on _his_ spade
+in turn, gazing at me as if I had horns. There was a third man--close
+at hand--quite a young fellow, halfway across the road where he was
+standing as if petrified by my previous conversation. However he wasn't
+"prakiseering," so I stepped across to him with the slowly enunciated
+query: "Vertel me nou es: wat voor signaal moet ik maken, als ik wensch
+op genomen te worden?"
+
+He was the promptest of the group, for he replied glibly: "Ik weet het
+niet. Je mot eve by de Politie gaan vragen." But not a word about the
+tram.
+
+I gave it up. No information could possibly be extracted from these
+roadmen. My Dutch had quite broken down, and in disgust, I surrendered
+the leading of the expedition wholly to Terence.
+
+Terence has a theory that he can make his meaning clear by means of
+careful and scientific gesticulation. Now he took his innings, while I
+watched the proceedings from a comfortable seat by the roadside.
+
+"They're quite clever at it," he shouted to me. "The tram will be here
+in two somethings--I believe two hours--so we may as well move on: it'll
+be no use to us, to wait."
+
+"All right," I said; "your way of it!" And off we started, tired as
+we were. We weren't ten minutes on the road till the tram was heard
+puffing behind us; and catching sight of a kind of double line in front
+of us we bounded towards this spot in hopes there might be a halte
+there. There _was_: and the tram waited half an hour at it, and then
+went back again the way it had come. We had to walk. Well, at all
+events we reached Velp at dark. My cycle was nicely mended, so after
+getting some refreshments in an excellent _logement_ and taking a
+prolonged and well earned rest, we mounted our bikes and rode straight
+to Arnhem.
+
+So disgusted was I with my ill-success in Dutch that I tackled the
+porters in English. An obliging +wit-jas+ asked me if I would have
+the day-train. "Rather not," I told him. "There will surely be another
+train to-night. It's only nine."
+
+The first was a bommel, he said, and would do for the fietsen; but he
+recommended us to wait for the day-train.
+
+"What! And stay here all night?" I asked.
+
+"No," he explained. "Day-trein will be here soon."
+
+"+How is that?+" said I. "+How+ in the wide world can a +Day-train go
+at night+? or is it because it started from Germany by day-light? You
+surely don't reckon here by Amerikaansche tijd for the sake of the
+tourists?"
+
+"You not understand," he explained. "We call it day-trein becos' you
+pay more--."
+
+"Well!" I interrupted; "that would be a Pay-train, then! Not Day."
+
+"No, no," he said excitedly. "Zis trein go kwik!--not stop--+anywheres+!"
+
+"But if it doesn't stop, how can we get in?" I asked. "Of moet ik
++belet vragen+ voor deze Dag-trein? Geeft de trein belet? You'll need
+a special kind of ticket, too--perhaps an aanslagsbiljet?"
+
+"No, no; only little bewijsje--kwik trein--bring Restoration--becos'--."
+
+"What? The Restoration! It turns day into night, and brings back
+Charles II! Go on, please, I can believe anything now!"
+
+"Hallo! is this where you are?" sounded gratefully on our ears. It
+was van Leeuwen, who had been expecting us all day, after he had heard
+about our call, from the indignant butler. He had given up all hope of
+seeing us, but we passed him by in the dark, talking and laughing. He
+had followed hot-speed to the station--in time to explain the mysteries
+of the D-trein. My spirits rose. The world was still ruled by reason.
+Of course we went back with our rescuer. That was the original plan,
+and I had a grammar to send with him to the Hague.
+
+As he waited, talking to Terence, I recalled the cycles. The wit-jas
+demurred: "De fietsen zijn al weg."
+
+"Neen, niet waar," I told him. "Onmogelijk, hoor! Geen trein is weg.
+Daar zijn de papiertjes ervan. Pak ze: breng de fietsen mee. Ik weiger
+je verontschuldigingen. Doe wat ik zeg, ik bid U. En niet terug komen
+met hangende pootjes!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV.
+
+SUPPER AT A BOERDERIJ.
+
+IN THE SHADE OF THE PRIEELTJE.--AN UNPREPARED GUEST.--COWS'
+OVERCOATS.--THANK YOU.--ANOTHER CUP.--VOOR DE PRONK.--THINGS ARE DEAR
+IN HOLLAND.--AN INNOCENT OBSERVATION.--HALF-ELF.--STARVATION IN THE
+MIDST OF PLENTY.--A MOHAMMEDAN.--PROBEER NOUW IS.--OPEN SESAME.--AN
+AFFECTIONATE IRISH TERRIER.--GENERAL PRINCIPLES.--A PARTING SALVO.
+
+
+That night, after Terence had retired, I had a confidential talk with
+van Leeuwen; and I begged of him, as a great favour, to take the
+Grammar to Kathleen, and--if he had time--give her a little coaching in
+Dutch. He said he would--to oblige me; and I was pleased to notice that
+he started, taking Boyton with him, by the earliest possible train.
+This was the six twenty--a notorious bommel which brought him into the
+Hague only seventeen minutes earlier than if he had waited for a decent
+breakfast.
+
+Enderby got to Arnhem about noon, and took us 'in tow' for our cycling
+tour. We had a glorious week of it in Gelderland under his direction;
+but there were no adventures worth speaking of. In ten days we were
+back at the Residentie, as 'brown as berries and as gay as larks'. It
+is Terence's phrase, and I give it for what it's worth.
+
+But at all events van Leeuwen was gay enough now. His pedagogic labours
+seemed to suit him, and Kathleen was quite herself again. To hear her
+laugh now was to imagine that you were back in Kilkenny in the days
+before the suffragette question was mooted.
+
+We were all delighted. Except perhaps Enderby. That youth didn't appear
+more than half pleased at the turn things had taken; but he had the
+grace to keep out of the way and consoled himself with motoring. One
+day--I had only sat down to luncheon--he carried me off for a great run
+to the islands south of Rotterdam. But the machine broke down twice
+before we reached Dordrecht, and we had to content ourselves with
+housing its fragments in a shed, and walking to a _boerderij_ where my
+friend was well known. Here, indeed, we were expected to supper; but we
+arrived hours before we were due, and _minus_ an automobile. This
+necessitated explanations, which Enderby seemed gracefully enough to
+make to the family party in the garden. In a shady +prieeltje+ there,
+they regaled us with "liemonade"; and I occasioned some consternation by
+rising twice to offer my seat to the mother and daughter respectively,
+who came in after I had sat down. They wouldn't take the chair I vacated
+for them, and appeared to resent my civility. Enderby, too, made me
+uncomfortable by touching my foot and saying, _sotto voce_, "Take care
+what you're about, O'Neill".
+
+Baas Willemse was very sympathetic about the mishap to our motor, and
+strongly recommended the services of a gifted blacksmith of his
+acquaintance.
+
+Indeed, before we knew, he had a pony harnessed in a sort of hooded
+tax-cart, in which he insisted in driving Enderby to this wonderful
+mechanic, to have the damaged car put to rights. And off they started.
+
+It was only then that I realized the situation. Here was I--without
+dictionary or phrase-book--left to play the part of intelligent guest,
+unaided and unprepared. And that was the first time in my life I was
+'spending the evening' in a non-English-speaking home. How would I get
+through it? I did hope that the local Vulcan would be quick.
+
+At first it wasn't so bad. What with remarks about "het prachtige weer"
+and "het ongeluk", and what with playing with the children, I got along
+quite smoothly for a while.
+
+I even discoursed a little about the beauty of the afternoon-sunlight
+and "het schilderachtige van het zomerlandschap".
+
+All this was taken in such good part that I went further afield; and
+noticing a large number of cattle with odd coverings on their backs, I
+ventured on a comparison which I fancied might interest the company.
+"In Groot-Brittanje hebben de koeien niet zoo dikwijls overjassen. Mag
+ik beleefd vragen: gebeurt dat hier van wege de gezelligheid, of van
+wege de gezondheid, of voor het mooi?"
+
+They were all pleased at this, and gave me a lot of talk about
+cows--which didn't make me much the wiser.
+
+By violent efforts I recalled some of my old choice phrases, and passed
+myself somehow. But alas! supper came; and then my real troubles began.
+
+We all adjourned to a binnen-kamer, where an ample spread awaited us. I
+was given the seat of honour. It was a great pity, all agreed, that
+Mijnheer Enderby wasn't back: but they thought I might be hungry. Well,
+I was--and with reason. Nothing to eat since breakfast!
+
+"Thee of chocolaat, Mijnheer?"
+
+"Thee, alstublieft", I said.--And I got it.
+
+"Krentebroodjes?"
+
+"Dank U," I answered pleasantly, and reached for one in a leisurely
+manner. You don't like to parade your hunger, you know. Well, I hadn't
+been prompt enough. A plateful from which I was about to help myself,
+was removed. The action surprised me, and I looked for a moment at the
+mother, who had withdrawn the dainties so unexpectedly. She looked at
+me, slightly ruffled. But no krentebroodjes!
+
+"Wil mijnheer een broodje met vleesch?"
+
+"Oh dank U wel," I said, endeavouring to be quicker. That time I nearly
+had a slice. But the agile youth, Jaap, who was in charge of the plate,
+whipped it away too.
+
+No broodjes met vleesch for me! It was very queer.
+
+"Soms een ei?" said the dignified grandmother, in a white cap with gold
+ornaments. She presided, and did a great deal of the talking; and I
+could make out that she was the widow of a fisherman or shipowner in a
+small way, and had once visited Hull. In virtue of having spent a week
+there, some forty years before, she was regarded evidently by all the
+rest as an authority on English manners and customs and language and
+literature.
+
+"Soms een ei?" she pleaded. "Engelshman like egg."
+
+Very much, indeed, I thought, if I could only get one--call me English
+or Irish or whatever you like. Fain would I have had an egg off that
+plate, where she had just put down six or eight, freshly boiled.
+
+Determined to get one, if politeness would assist me, I smiled and
+bowed and smiled again. "Oh, ik dank U duizendmaal. Ik bewijs volkomen
+dankbaarheid."
+
+Stunned apparently by my reply, she hesitated. To encourage her to
+extend these edibles a trifle nearer, I said, "Alstublieft. Dank U."
+But she only sighed, and laid the plate out of reach, reproachfully.
+
+No eggs!
+
+"Truitje," she whispered to her granddaughter; "presenteer de
+schuimpjes."
+
+Truitje didn't say a word, but pushed a schaaltje of these light
+refreshments towards me.
+
+I did secure two; but in a moment they were finished. You see, a
+schuimpje doesn't last very long, when you are really hungry.
+
+Then the mother complained, courteously, of my slender appetite:
+"Mijnheer wil niets gebruiken."
+
+"O ja," I interrupted, "integendeel! Heel graag. Alstublieft." And to
+show I meant it, I asked for another cup of tea. "Mag ik beleefdelijk
+vragen om een andere kop?" Here I reached cup and saucer towards them.
+
+That certainly created a diversion. They looked blankly at one another,
+till the grandmother--she was very hearty--called out with a cheerful
+laugh, "Hé, ja. Dat's waar ook. De Engelsche koppen zijn groot."
+
+"Truitje," she whispered in an audible aside. "Breng even een Engelsche
+kom. Ze staan in de kast."
+
+"Zie zoo. Mijnheer," she continued to me with a pleasant smile. "Nouw,
+Mijnheer wil zeker nog wat thee hebben? Nouw, niet bedanken, hoor."
+
+"Oh ja," I replied joyfully, "Schiet op--Als'tublieft--dank U. Dank
+U--heelemaal!"
+
+Holding the tea-pot poised in her hand, she looked at me appealingly,
+but in doubt. "Wat? heus?" she said.
+
+What was I to do?
+
+I looked at her quite as appealingly, and replied. "Ja, heus! Wel
+zeker."
+
+That was decisive. No tea!
+
+The cup, however, was planted down in front of me, upside down. "Het is
+voor de pronk, zeker," said the grandmother. "Engelsche gewoonte--zeer
+net."
+
+But conversation flagged. The silence was painful. You could have heard
+a pin drop. My discreet attempt to ask for something had failed, and I
+didn't see exactly how I was to improve upon it.
+
+The mother meantime surveyed my empty plate and empty cup with distinct
+disapproval, and put out a feeler: "Mijnheer houdt niet van Hollandsche
+kost?"
+
+'Hollandsch kost', what things +cost+ in Holland--Dutch prices, in
+other words? Well, they are rather high sometimes. The remark seemed
+somewhat irrelevant, but it was talk, and therefore welcome. Anything
+to break that oppressive silence. Eagerly embracing the opportunity of
+saying something, I responded with cordiality: "Hollandsche kost? Neen.
+Ik houd niet erg ervan. Dat kan U begrijpen. Ze zijn veels te hoog!"
+
+This well-meant pleasantry was received with such evident disfavour that
+I hastened to explain. "Ik bedoel dat vele artikelen zijn kostbaar--of
+kostelijk--mijns bedunkens--in Holland--maar van onberispelijke smaak."
+
+Hardly any response was made to this.--The merest murmur on the part of
+the grandmother, that was all. But they all looked at me curiously,
+without saying a word.
+
+Frantically I strove to make an observation in an easy friendly way,
+but all my Dutch seemed to have deserted me.--At least all I judged
+suitable.
+
+Fragments of conversation did float through my agonized brain, but none
+of them was quite what I needed.
+
+"Ik graauw, ik kef en kweel" was out of the question.
+
+Two proverbs suddenly flashed across my mind, and I gripped them
+firmly. One was: "Een vogel in de hand is meer waard dan tien in de
+lucht," and the tempting parallel offered itself: "Eén broodje in de
+hand is meer waard dan tien op een bord." As this aphorism, however,
+didn't sound extra civil, I let it pass.
+
+"Deugd en belooning gaan zelden te samen" was the second proverb; and
+on that model I managed, after due cogitation, to construct a nice
+harmless phrase. As it expressed what we all knew and could see before
+our eyes, I felt safe against contradiction, and I knew it couldn't
+hurt anybody. This dictum ran: "Koek en boterham gaan dikwijls te
+samen."
+
+Perhaps it was owing to the suddenness with which I proclaimed this
+truth, or to some severity in my manner; but the effect produced on the
+company was magical.
+
+Jaap dropped his fork with a clatter and said, "Gunst!" The mother put
+her hand to her chest, whispering. "Zoo'n schrik!" All looked startled
+and stopped eating!
+
+To divert the scrutiny of so many eyes, I manufactured talk on the
+first thing that occurred to me, and, reverting to the Dutch prices,
+said: "Sommige artikelen in Holland zijn duur. Van morgen heb ik een
+plaat bezichtigd--een poes opgerold over een kannetje melk--de zee in
+de verte. Prachtig. Maar peper-duur. Tien gulden en een half."
+
+"Wat zegt mijnheer," asked the grandmother, "van de poes en de peper en
+de tien gulden?"
+
+Assuring her it was merely a 'plaat', but one that was 'erg kostbaar',
+I grasped at the analogy of the hours of the day, to do full justice
+to the expensiveness of the picture. If ten o'clock and a half works out
+at "half-elf-uur," it is not hard to reckon what ten guilders-and-a-half
+_ought_ to be; so I gave it with relish: "En, Juffrouw, wat denkt U?
+Het kost half-elf-gulden!"
+
+Jaap looked at his watch and shook his head. Then he shook the watch,
+put it back in his pocket and fastened his eyes again on me.
+
+"Nee, hoor!" exclaimed the mother, who had now begun to help a special
+dish; "Nee; zoo laat is het niet. Mijnheer O'Neill, neem een stukje
+pudding--toe dan--heel verteerbaar."
+
+My plate was passed along, and was heaped up liberally. Though I waited
+with my thanks as long as I could, I was obliged to intervene when the
+plate was piled high enough for any two people. "Nouw, ik bedank!" I
+ejaculated, making my best bow.
+
+But that caused the guillotine to fall once more. With a gesture of
+impatience Truitje put away my verteerbaar pudding on a remote
+side-table. Not the least chance of getting it!
+
+I was starving in the midst of plenty!
+
+As my hosts appeared to be as much impressed with the contrast as I
+was, I endeavoured to smooth things over a little, and set them more at
+their ease. Making the best of it, with all the careless grace I could
+muster I blandly assured them that it didn't matter. "Het geeft
+niets--het hindert niet--het komt er niet opaan."
+
+But they grew huffy and distant--my phrases didn't do much to relieve
+the strain--and I was feeling more depressed and famished every minute,
+when, to my unspeakable relief, up there came the sound of wheels on
+the gravel, and in a moment I heard Enderby's voice talking Dutch
+loudly and confidently in the hall.
+
+The young folks all rushed out to meet him (he is a prime favourite
+with them) and there was much whispering and laughing and a long
+confabulation before they came back.
+
+Enderby entered, and greeted the older people merrily: but there was a
+quizzical frown upon his brow as he sat down near me. "What's all this
+O'Neill?" he whispered. "Are you ill?"
+
+"I'm as well as could be expected in the circumstances."
+
+"Circumstances! Why you wouldn't touch the good food they gave you. Not
+content with despising their cookery you objected to their tea-cups,
+and pretend that religious scruples keep you from eating until after
+half-past ten. They think you are some kind of Mohammedan. These kind
+people are a little hurt, I fear; and I can see they are greatly
+astonished."
+
+"So am I! I have been as polite as anything, all the time; but though
+they offer me plenty of everything, if I attempt to help myself,
+whew!--they whisk the dish away. They may be hurt, as you say; but I
+can tell you, _I'm starving_. Is there no way to--."
+
+Our conversation was interrupted by the mother's voice, which broke in
+with the cheery question: "Mijnheer Enderby houdt +wel+ van Hollandsche
+kost, niet waar?"
+
+I watched what he would say.
+
+He used two easy words: "Dat spreekt."
+
+Busying herself with plates and spoons, the mother continued: "U neemt
+een beetje avondeten?"
+
+"Nouw! Of ik!" said Enderby with enthusiasm--and they brought him
+eatables all sorts.
+
+These dainties caught my eye in spite of myself; and I wondered why
+none had been given to me. It was now going on to ten; and I had had
+nothing since early breakfast, except a glass of lemonade, a cup of
+tea and two small schuimpjes.
+
+The old lady was observant, and must have detected famine in my eye,
+for with a glance at the clock she called softly to Truitje: "Probeer
+nouw is."
+
+To me she said, "Wil Mijnheer nog thee?"
+
+The secret was mine now, and I didn't hesitate.
+
+"Of ik!" I replied.
+
+There was a scream of delight from all quarters! My kom was turned
+right-side up and filled to the brim with fresh warm tea. I was the
+centre of interest at once. Cupboards flew open on all sides, like
+pistol-shots, and everybody was waiting to help me. It was who would
+give me most.
+
+"Ham en een broodje?"
+
+"Of ik!"
+
+"Rookvleesch--en een ei?"
+
+"Of ik!"
+
+The seven lean years were past, now the time of plenty was come.
+
+"Bitterkoekjes en leverworst?"--"Muisjes en karnemelk?"--"Appelbolletjes,
+wentelteefjes en molsla?"--I refused nothing.
+
+"Of ik" was the "Open Sesame"--the key to unlock all cupboards and all
+hearts.
+
+I took care to thank nobody for anything, for fear my plate would be
+removed. Happy laughter was heard on all sides. Smiles beamed on every
+face. In an instant I had become the most popular man on the island,--at
+all events with the people in that farm-house. Their hospitality and my
+hunger had met at last, and come to terms--to the unbounded enthusiasm
+of all.
+
+Meantime Enderby had communicated to them the fact that I was an
+Irishman; and I overheard someone venture on the singular criticism:
+"De Ieren zijn zoo lief voor elkaar! Hij gebruikt niets als zijn vriend
+er niet bij is."
+
+"Hé, wat lief!" said Baas Willemse.
+
+"Innig!" whispered the grandmother, smiling.
+
+"Leuk", answered the mother.
+
+"Aardig", said some one else.
+
+"Typisch", exclaimed Truitje.
+
+A grumble fell on our ears: "Wat gek!"
+
+It was Jaap.
+
+Truitje talked on one side of Enderby; Jaap talked on the other.
+Enderby smiled, then sniggered, then laughed; and finally, laying down
+his knife and fork, he looked at me, and leaned back in his chair and
+positively roared.
+
+"Well, what's the matter?" I asked austerely.
+
+"She says it's touching to see your affection for me. You looked so
+melancholy when I was away, as if you were longing for something--or
+crossed in love--or disappointed! You've won their hearts, at last,
+my boy, not a doubt of it. Still, don't overdo that phrase, now that
+you've got it. Jaap here has a story about an Irish terrier in Drenthe
+that refused to eat anything for three days, when its master was away
+in Amsterdam. But he adds that the terrier made up for it, by eating
+everything it could, when its master came back. I can see that you are
+going to achieve a reputation that will outrival that of your canine
+compatriot, unless you have a care. Be a bit cautious, please."
+
+Here Jaap, dimly apprehending that Enderby was speaking about him,
+performed a mystic rite that puzzled me extremely.
+
+Pretending to sharpen an imaginary pencil on his forefinger he held it
+towards us and cried, "Sliep uit."
+
+"What on earth is that?" I asked Enderby--who, however, could only
+tell me that it was intended as a roguish taunt--Jaap was always a
+schelm--but the phrase was otherwise meaningless.
+
+As such I jotted it down at once in my notebook for future use.
+
+From these experiences in the boerderij I was able to deduce an
+important general principle of practical value.
+
++If you want anything in Holland never say "thank you", until the
+object is firmly in your grasp.+ Then you may be as civil as you like.
+But before you get hold of it, you are only safe if you say, "If I".
+
++In the Dutch language premature thanks are equivalent to a refusal;
+so you'd better keep your gratitude out of sight.+
+
+Well, I had won all hearts here in virtue of my discoveries. As we were
+going away the grandmother gave me a second Good-bye, shaking me warmly
+by both hands. "Heeft mijnheer zich goed geamuseerd?" she enquired.
+
+"Kostelijk--Uitstekend--Nouw!" was my prompt reply, for I had expected
+that query.
+
+"Wat spreekt mijnheer nouw makkelijk Hollandsch!" she exclaimed.
+
+"Gunst, ja", was my retort. "Ik heb zoo'n pret gehad! Onbetaalbaar!"
+
+But I caught Jaap's eye; it was critical; so to pay back the youth for
+his terrier-story I took out my pencil, sharpened it in full view of
+them all and said, "Sliep uit, Jaap; je bent een schelm".
+
+With that they all cheered, young and old, saying "Net, Mijnheer, net!"
+
+"Tot weerziens!" laughed the grandmother shaking hands again. "Kom
+spoedig terug".
+
+"Ja hoor; dat spreekt."
+
+"Belooft u?" she repeated, before she let me go.
+
+I pulled myself together, and gave a parting salvo: "Ja,
+zeker--Stellig--Och kom!--Reken er op!--Of ik!!"
+
+We drove away in a perfect tornado of applause.
+
+
+
+
+EPILOGUE.
+
+THE EXPECTED SURPRISE.
+
+
+On reaching my rooms at Ferdinand Bolstraat 66_a_, the landlady greeted
+me with respectful effusion and told me that Jan was as good as cured,
+though the wounded arm would remain stiff for a good while, she
+feared. She was loud in the praises of the Engelsche juffrouw and her
+profisciency in Dutch; and (sinking her voice confidentially) Mijnheer
+van Leeuwen had left a letter for me upstairs.
+
+"Boyton", I thought, as I climbed those forty nine precipitous steps
+that led to my room, "I hope you have done your duty."
+
+And he had.
+
+Van Leeuwen wrote that he would prepare me for a great surprise! It
+was yet a profound secret; but,--well, in fact--that is to say--he was
+engaged to my cousin Kathleen. They had discovered mutual sympathies
+and affinities over the study of Dutch--to which language now my cousin
+was devoting her serious attention. By the by they had been delighted
+with that monograph of mine. And the queer Grammar was useful. (I
+should think so!)
+
+He said that he could well imagine my astonished looks when I got this
+news about his attachment! Now confess, he concluded, that you hadn't
+the ghost of a suspicion as to what was coming?
+
+"Oh hadn't I just?" I soliloquized, "Well; there's only one thing, my
+dear fellow, to say to all that; And I really must say it in Dutch:
++Of ik+?"
+
+
+
+
+Opmerkingen van de bewerker
+
+
+In deze tekst komen vier soorten van nadruk voor, soms tegelijkertijd.
+Voor deze txt-versie zijn ze weergeven met _cursief_, =vet=,
++gespatieerd+ en HOOFDLETTERS.
+
+Ook in de txt-versie zijn de kopteksten van bovenaan de bladzijden
+verplaatst naar het begin van de hoofdstukken.
+
+Voor het gemak van de lezer is de inhoudsopgave verplaatst van het eind
+van het boek naar het begin.
+
+In de tabel met uitspraakregels op pag. 16 werd in het origineel E U
+twee keer genoemd. De tweede is veranderd in E I.
+
+Duidelijke drukfouten zijn stilzwijgend verbeterd. Alle andere
+eigenaardigheden en inconsequenties in spelling en grammatica zijn
+niet gewijzigd, in het bijzonder die in de zogenaamde citaten uit
+"Boyton and Brandnetel". Ook de stijl van de auteur in het gebruik van
+aanhalingstekens is niet gewijzigd.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Further Adventures of O'Neill in
+Holland, by J. Irwin Brown
+
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+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Further Adventures of O&rsquo;Neill in Holland, by Cuey-Na-Gael.
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+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland, by
+J. Irwin Brown
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland
+
+Author: J. Irwin Brown
+
+Release Date: July 17, 2011 [EBook #36765]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Mark C. Orton, eagkw and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="400" height="581" alt="Cover" title="Cover" />
+</div>
+
+<h1>THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF O&rsquo;NEILL
+IN HOLLAND.</h1>
+
+
+
+
+<div class="centered"><p>Books by CUEY-NA-GAEL:</p>
+
+<div class="bbox">
+<p class="adtitle">An Irishman&rsquo;s Difficulties in
+Speaking Dutch.</p>
+
+<p lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Deze humor deed aan het beste van Jerome
+denken. <span class="rght" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">(<cite>Nieuwe Courant</cite>).</span></p>
+
+<p class="r1" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ingenaaid <b>90 cts.</b> <span class="rght">Gebonden <b>f 1,25</b>.</span></p>
+
+<hr class="l1"/>
+
+<p class="adtitle">Ireland, its Humour and Pathos.</p>
+
+<p>A most interesting study ... graceful ...
+bright and readable. <span class="rght">(<cite>British Weekly</cite>).</span></p>
+
+<p class="r1" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Treffende beschrijvingen van landschap...
+Geestig en pathetisch. <span class="rght">(<cite>N. Gron. Courant</cite>).</span></p>
+
+<p class="r1" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Vol humor en geest&mdash;weemoed en melancholie.
+<span class="rght" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">(<cite>Dor. Courant</cite>).</span></p>
+
+<p class="r1" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ingenaaid <b>90 cts.</b> <span class="rght">Gebonden <b>f 1,25</b>.</span></p>
+
+<hr class="l1"/>
+
+<p class="adtitle">The Further Adventures of O&rsquo;Neill.</p>
+
+<p lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Thans kregen wij de avonturen van O&rsquo;Neill
+te hooren bij een vriendelijke boerenfamilie...,
+zijn dwaze ontmoeting in Gouda.... in het
+Haagsche Bosch.... en zijn verwarring met
+&ldquo;dank u&rdquo; en &ldquo;thank you&rdquo;.... en Kanapé....
+en de D-trein&mdash;het was alles niet om na
+te vertellen.</p>
+
+<p lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ingenaaid <b>90 cts.</b> <span class="rght">Gebonden <b>f 1,25</b>.</span></p>
+
+
+<p class="r2">Published by J. M. BREDÉE, Rotterdam.</p>
+</div></div>
+
+
+
+
+<h1>THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF<br />
+O&rsquo;NEILL IN HOLLAND</h1>
+
+<p class="tp">BY<br /><br /><br />
+
+<span class="lg">CUEY-NA-GAEL,</span><br />
+<span class="smcap">(Rev. J. Irwin Brown, B. D.)</span><br /><br />
+Author of &ldquo;An Irishman&rsquo;s Difficulties in Speaking Dutch&rdquo;,<br />
+&ldquo;Ireland, its Humour and Pathos&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<p class="tp">SECOND EDITION.</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter">
+<img src="images/logo.png" width="100" height="192" alt="Logo" title="Logo" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="tp">ROTTERDAM<br />
+<big>J. M. BREDÉE.</big><br />
+1914</p>
+
+<hr class="l2"/>
+
+<p class="permission">For permission to give recitations
+or readings from this book, application
+should be made to the Publisher.</p>
+
+<hr class="l2"/>
+
+<div class="centered">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Table of Contents">
+<tr><td class="col6">&nbsp;</td><td class="col7"><small>Page.</small></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter I.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">Where did O&rsquo;Neill&rsquo;s Dutch come from?</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_1">1</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter II.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">Some Characteristics of the Compendious
+Guide to Dutch</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_5">5</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter III.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">How O&rsquo;Neill learnt to pronounce</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_14">14</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter IV.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">An Interlude and an Application</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_18">18</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter V.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">The Wegwijzer on Dutch Syntax</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_23">23</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter VI.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">The Grammatical Caress</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_29">29</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter VII.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">A Gossipy Letter</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_34">34</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter VIII.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">The Surprises of the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Maas</span></td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_44">44</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter IX.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">The Thunderstorm</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_55">55</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter X.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">The Devoted Nurse</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_68">68</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter XI.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">Gossip and Diplomacy</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_76">76</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter XII.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">A Study in Character</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_83">83</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter XIII.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6"><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Belet!</span></td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_97">97</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter XIV.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">The Day-train</td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_104">104</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col5">Chapter XV.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6">Supper at a <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Boerderij</span></td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_112">112</a></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col6"><span class="smcap">Epilogue</span></td><td class="col7"><a href="#Page_129">129</a></td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<hr class="l2"/>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER I.<br /><br />
+
+<small>WHERE DID O&rsquo;NEILL&rsquo;S DUTCH COME FROM?</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>We had all heard something of Jack O&rsquo;Neill&rsquo;s
+adventures in Holland; and the members of our
+informal little club in Trinity College Dublin were
+positively thirsting for fresh details. There must
+be much more to tell, we felt sure: and we had
+a multitude of questions to ask.</p>
+
+<p>Now the odd thing about O&rsquo;Neill was that he
+didn&rsquo;t like to be interrogated; he preferred to tell his
+story straight through in his own way. He had evidently
+studied hard at the Dutch language, but
+without the least regard for system: and it was clear
+that he had been by no means careful in the choice
+of text books. Indeed, he seemed to be rather sensitive
+on this point, no doubt regretting that, in the
+ardour of his early enthusiasm, he had just taken<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span>
+the first grammar and exercise-book he could lay
+his hands upon, without consulting anybody. It
+was that curious plan of doing everything by
+himself that doubtless led him into the initial
+mistake, that of trying to get any sense out of
+&ldquo;Boyton and <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Brandnetel</span>&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A GREAT WORK.</div>
+
+<p>Apparently he had kept that &ldquo;literary find&rdquo;
+by him for reference, and for digging stray
+idioms and rules out of, while he added more
+modern volumes to his working stock. This would
+account for his glibness in rattling off out-of-the-way
+phrases, and for that rich bizarre flavour
+which his simplest Dutch utterance undoubtedly had.</p>
+
+<p>But we didn&rsquo;t know the worst.</p>
+
+<p>Intentionally vague though he was in talking
+about his authorities, we ran him to earth (so
+to speak) at last in the matter of &ldquo;Boyton and
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Brandnetel</span>&rdquo;; and had a happy evening.</p>
+
+<p>That book was all O&rsquo;Neill told us, and more.
+Printed on paper that seemed a cross between
+canvas and blot-sheet, it bore the date 1805. It
+was very Frenchified, and the English puzzled us
+extremely. Here is the Preface&mdash;or a part of it.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>The following WORK was, originally, compiled
+by William Boyton. After passing <strong>five Editions</strong>,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span>
+a Sixth appeared <strong>partly enlarged, and
+partly improved</strong>, by <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jac. Brandnetel</span>. This
+last Edition was published, at the Hague, in the
+Year, 1751.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE CIVILIZED LADY.</div>
+
+<p>The several particles, of Speech, are arranged by
+the usual Order; and Declare with precision; every
+rule being followed, with practical exercise. This
+Mode, of teaching, being already <strong>appreciated</strong>;
+it will not be deemed Essential; nor do we, point
+out, the utility of it. As to Syntax; it is fully treated:
+whilst, <strong>last not least</strong>, cares have been exercised,
+to unite ease with simplicity, accuracy with
+idiom, and animate the <strong>Learner</strong>. It aims at
+the pupil of <strong>High-Life</strong>, and to acquire the
+Polish of the <strong>civilized Lady</strong>.</p>
+
+<p class="r4">THE HAGUE, 1805.<br /></p></div>
+
+<p>This brilliant introduction raised our expectations
+to fever heat. We had never encountered
+such an army of commas before; and as for the
+English&mdash;!</p>
+
+<p><strong>Anything</strong>, evidently, might be met with
+inside the covers of William Boyton&rsquo;s &lsquo;Work&rsquo;.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">BOYTON ANIMATES THE LEARNER.</div>
+
+<p>The best of it, of course, was its extraordinary
+politeness. Every other question was prefixed with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span>
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Verschoon my</span>&rdquo;, and went on something like this:
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Zoudt gij zoo goed willen zijn mij toe te staan...</span>&rdquo;.
+Then there were some plain and unornamental
+phrases such as &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Men weet nooit hoe een koe
+eenen haas vangt</span>&rdquo;.&mdash;This was labelled &lsquo;proverbial
+expression&rsquo;, and was translated, happily
+enough, by &ldquo;The unexpected often occurs.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik heb er het land aan je</span>&rdquo; was rendered
+mysteriously: &ldquo;I have an objection&rdquo;, &ldquo;I cannot
+agree&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<p>That was puzzling enough, and delightfully vague!
+But for all that found the phrase doubly underlined
+by O&rsquo;Neill and marked by him as &lsquo;useful
+for general conversation&rsquo;.&mdash;</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER II.<br /><br />
+
+<small>SOME CHARACTERISTICS OF THE COMPENDIOUS<br />
+GUIDE TO THE DUTCH LANGUAGE.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>There was something good on every page, as
+might be expected from the very preface. And,
+withal, there was a steady process of boasting
+about its own merits that was most refreshing in
+the barren realm of grammar.</p>
+
+<p>With mock modesty it dubbed itself on the title
+page, &ldquo;The Compendious Guide,&rdquo; and followed
+this up with another title &ldquo;<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Korte Wegwijzer tot
+de nederduitsche taal</i>.&rdquo; The whole compilation
+was evidently the work of several generations of
+literary gentlemen, who aimed at the &lsquo;Polish of
+the Civilized Lady&rsquo; in quite different ways, but
+whose united efforts certainly made &lsquo;The Work&rsquo;
+remarkably incoherent.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">POLITE DIALOGUES.</div>
+
+<p>We all quizzed O&rsquo;Neill unmercifully about the
+Civilized Lady, and read some dialogues with immense
+satisfaction. So uproarious, indeed, did the
+fun become at last, that our neighbours on the
+stair came trooping in. Three of them were Cape-students,
+hard-working medicals, whom we never
+heard speaking Dutch, though we were well
+aware they must have known it. Like the others,
+they insisted on a full explanation of the tumult,
+and we showed them &ldquo;Boyton&rdquo;. They didn&rsquo;t mind
+so much about the Civilized Lady; but when they
+turned to the Polite Dialogues at the end, a kind
+of shudder seemed to pass through them, as if
+they had got an electric shock&mdash;till finally they
+dropped the book and screamed with delight.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Why! that&rsquo;s nothing so very odd&rdquo;, said O&rsquo;Neill,
+looking hurt. &ldquo;I have often used lots of those
+phrases.&rdquo; Picking up the dishevelled leaves from
+the floor, he ran his eye down a page or two and said:
+&ldquo;Yes, of course. These things are all right: A bit
+stiff and bookish, perhaps; but correct, quite correct.
+You fellows needn&rsquo;t be so excited over nothing.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Read us some!&rdquo; clamoured the men from the
+Cape. &ldquo;Read us some of the dialogues you imitated.
+Go on! Read!&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">HOW TO BUY A CASTOR.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; said O&rsquo;Neill, &ldquo;almost any one of these
+conversations about common things is good enough.
+Here, for instance.&rdquo; And he took the book in
+his hand and walked about the room, giving us
+first the English&mdash;then the Dutch.</p>
+
+<div class="centered">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Touching Buying and Selling.">
+<tr><td class="col1"><b>&ldquo;TOUCHING BUYING AND SELLING.</b></td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl"><b>WEGENS KOOPEN EN VERKOOPEN.</b></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">Have you any fine hats?</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hebt gij mooije hoeden?</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">This is one of the finest
+in the Country.</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Daar is een van de fraaiste
+in &rsquo;t land.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">Yes, Sir; this is a dreadfully
+nice one.</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, hoedemaker; deze tenminste
+is ijsselijk mooi.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">Just come close to the
+fire, Sir; and examine
+that hat narrowly.</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Eilieve! kruip bij het vuur,
+mijnheer; en bezie dien
+hoed eens wel.&rdquo;</td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;That conversation,&rdquo; said the Professor, &ldquo;must
+have been of immense help to you now in modern
+Holland?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Hm&rdquo;&mdash;replied Jack doubtfully.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;O&rsquo;Neill,&rdquo; said I; &ldquo;Stop! You&rsquo;re making that
+out of your head. That stuff&rsquo;s never in any book.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">NOT MURDERED?</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well,&rdquo; was the hasty reply; &ldquo;I see this isn&rsquo;t
+so good as some parts&mdash;not so practical, perhaps;
+but that&rsquo;s all here. Wait a bit.... Now listen.
+Here&rsquo;s something better. Hush!&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="centered">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Between Two English Gentlemen">
+<tr><td class="col1"><b>&ldquo;BETWEEN TWO
+ENGLISH GENTLEMEN.</b></td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl"><b>TUSSCHEN TWEE
+ENGELSCHE HEEREN.</b></td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">My dear Friend, I am
+extremely happy to see
+you.</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Waarde Vriend! ik ben
+ten uiterste verheugd u
+te zien (bezigtigen, of a
+house).</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">It has been reported for
+a certainty that you
+were taken by the
+Turks and murdered
+halfway between Leghorn
+and Civita Vecchia.</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Men heeft voor de waarheid
+verteld (als eene
+zekerheid verhaald) dat
+gij van de Turken genomen
+waart en gemoord
+halfwege tusschen
+Livorno en Civita
+Vecchia.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">But these atrocities did
+not befall me!</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Maar deze gruwelen zijn
+mij niet gebeurd!</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">You are convinced it is
+not true?</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gij zijt overtuigd dat
+zulks onwaar is?</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">I am.</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gewisselijk.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">I rejoice that you are
+restored.</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik verheug mij dat gij
+heelemaal hersteld zijt
+geweest (of a building:
+geheel en al gerestaureerd
+geworden).&rdquo;</td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<div class="sidenote r0" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">GIJ ZIJT GERESTAUREERD.</div>
+
+<p>There was a noise in the room at this, but<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span>
+O&rsquo;Neill went on boldly to finish the Dialogue.</p>
+
+<div class="centered">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
+<tr><td class="col1">&ldquo;Are you speaking in jest?</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gekt gij ermede?</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col1">I do not jest.</td>
+<td class="col2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik gek er niet mede.&rdquo;</td></tr>
+</table></div>
+
+<p class="r2">&ldquo;That&rsquo;s enough&mdash;quite enough&mdash;for the present&rdquo;,
+said the Cape men. &ldquo;We&rsquo;ll borrow the
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wegwijzer</span> from you, and bring it back safe.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;No, there&rsquo;s no fear we&rsquo;ll mislay it, or harm it.
+Much too valuable for that. But&mdash;you&rsquo;ll excuse
+us; we can hardly believe you&rsquo;ve got that actually
+in print. And we&rsquo;re curious to know what kind
+of rules those learned grammarians give. You&rsquo;ll
+lend us this mine of wisdom for a few days, won&rsquo;t
+you? Thank you, so much.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ENGERT</span>.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;And by the way, here are some of your own
+notes. What&rsquo;s this about <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">engert?&rdquo;</i></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh&rdquo;, said O&rsquo;Neill; &ldquo;that&rsquo;s a reminder about a
+neat phrase I picked up from my landlady. Did
+I never tell you?</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well. When my cousin came over, you know,
+on his way to Germany, he stayed with me a
+couple of days. He&rsquo;s very athletic&mdash;a fine wiry,
+muscular young fellow, lithe as a willow, as you
+are aware. So I wasn&rsquo;t astonished at overhearing
+the landlady and a crony of hers discussing him.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>
+They used a rumble of unintelligible words about
+Terence, as he passed the two of them on the
+stairs with the slightest of nods, and mounted
+three steps at a time, whistling as he went.
+There was no mistake about their referring to
+him; and amid the chaos of sounds I caught the
+words <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">eng</i> and <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">engert</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Curious to know how Terence&rsquo;s agility, or perhaps
+his swarthy complexion, had affected them, I
+turned up these terms of admiration in my dictionary;
+and found <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">eng</i>, &lsquo;thin&rsquo;, &lsquo;narrow&rsquo;. The longer word
+wasn&rsquo;t there. But on the whole it seemed safe
+to conclude from <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">eng</i> meaning &lsquo;narrow&rsquo;, that <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">engert</i>
+would work out something like &ldquo;fine strapping
+fellow and in excellent training&rdquo;. If that was it,
+my landlady had hit the nail on the head. For
+Terence had just been carrying all before him at
+the last Trinity sports.</p>
+
+<p>Her admiring criticism I duly entered in my
+notes and kept for use.</p>
+
+<p>Some days after Terence had left, the landlady
+was praising her son&rsquo;s cleverness to me;
+and to please her I just said that he was a
+wonderful boy. &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mirakel van een jongen</span>&rsquo; was
+the expression I employed; and I was quite<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span>
+proud of it. But she didn&rsquo;t seem appreciative of
+my effort, so I fell back on her own idiom.
+Fortunately the lad was quite slender, and I could
+dwell with satisfaction on the suitability of my
+new word.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hij is zoo eng</span>&rdquo;, I said. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja juffrouw hij is
+een engert!&mdash;een echte engert!!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>She received my encomium on her boy with
+speechless indignation, and rose and left the
+room. You can&rsquo;t be too careful&rdquo;, added O&rsquo;Neill
+thoughtfully.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">BETAALD ZETTEN.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Jack,&rdquo; said one of the students. &ldquo;I prefer your
+own notes even to Boyton. Haven&rsquo;t you some more?
+Ah, what&rsquo;s this?&rdquo; he enquired, turning to some
+pencillings inside the back. &ldquo;<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Dat zou je wel
+willen</i>&rdquo;, he read aloud, &ldquo;&lsquo;signification doubtful!&rsquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;And here&rsquo;s one marked &lsquo;<em>commercial</em>&rsquo;: &lsquo;We&rsquo;ll
+consider the transaction as settled&rsquo;: Dutch apparently
+something like, &lsquo;<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Dat zal ik u betaald zetten</i>&rsquo;.
+Here&rsquo;s another labelled, &lsquo;<em>not <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">deftig</span>, but very popular</em>&rsquo;:
+&lsquo;<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ben je niet goed snik?&rsquo;</i> Translation <em>seems</em> to be:
+&lsquo;you&rsquo;re not quite able to follow my meaning.&rsquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Ah! No more? That&rsquo;s a pity.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh I have plenty more,&rdquo; interposed O&rsquo;Neill; &ldquo;but
+not here. And you want to read this Boyton volume.&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">GEKT GIJ ER MEDE?</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Let me finish the &lsquo;Dialogue between English
+gentlemen&rsquo;, and you may have The Work.</p>
+
+<p>The first Englishman says: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik bid U, mijnheer;
+laat mij geene onheusheid begaan.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Then the other, the man who had been so
+disappointed that his friend wasn&rsquo;t murdered,
+answers politely: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik weet zeer wel welke <strong>eerbied</strong>
+ik U schuldig ben.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Up to this moment the two acquaintances seemed
+to have got on fairly well together in spite of
+some difficulties. Why two Englishmen when they
+met in Paris about the year of grace 1805
+should plunge into a complimentary dialogue
+in Dutch, is not very clear. But that there
+was a lurking feeling of antagonism in the <strong>gossip&rsquo;s</strong>
+mind towards his compatriot, seems to be shown
+by the remark that he now makes to wind up the
+dialogue.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">DUIZENDMAAL VERSCHOONING, MEJUFFROUW!</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mejuffrouw</i>&nbsp;(!) <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik bid U duizendmaal om verschooning,
+indien ik heden eenige onheusheid
+omtrent U bega.</i>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>That was final. The returned traveller hasn&rsquo;t a
+word for himself, after he is called &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">mejuffrouw</span>.&rsquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Mind you, gentlemen,&rdquo; continued O&rsquo;Neill, holding
+Boyton aloft like a trophy, &ldquo;if I <strong>did</strong> try to stop<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>
+too prolonged conversations in that gracefully irrelevant
+fashion, I had caught the trick of it from
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Brandnetel</span> himself. You have only to go on heaping
+civilities on your wearisome talker&rsquo;s head, but take
+care to call him, just once, <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mejuffrouw</span>, and he&rsquo;ll
+have to go. It&rsquo;s a neat way of saying Good-bye.
+I never found the method to fail.</p>
+
+<p>Some day I&rsquo;ll tell you how supremely effective
+I found that unexpected little turn.</p>
+
+<p>Why it&rsquo;s nearly as good as <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Zanik nouw niet</i>.&rdquo;</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER III.<br /><br />
+
+<small>HOW O&rsquo;NEILL LEARNED TO PRONOUNCE.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>&ldquo;I never could quite understand,&rdquo; said Bart van
+Dam, the big Cape giant, who had carried off
+Boyton the week before, &ldquo;how O&rsquo;Neill managed, out
+of such an extraordinary book, to pick up anything
+of the pronunciation. For, as a matter of fact, he
+<strong>does</strong> get quite close to some of the sounds; and
+I can nearly always guess what he is trying to say.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;When he is talking about that interesting
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Rotterdam</span> street, the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Boompjes</span>, he doesn&rsquo;t make
+the first part rhyme with the English word loom,
+and then add <strong>cheese</strong>, a thing I have heard
+Britishers do who should have known better.
+And actually, I have noticed he can distinguish
+<span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">goed</span>, <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">groot</span>, <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">goot</span>. That&rsquo;s promising.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE GOAT THAT RAN ROUND THE ROOF.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Some of my British friends at the Cape, even after<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>
+I graduated on English Literature and History, used
+kindly to drop Dutch words into their conversation,
+either to make it easy for me, or to keep
+up my spirits, so to speak. Oh never a talk of
+over five minutes, but little familiar terms like
+<span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">taal</span>, <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">zolder</span>, <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">maar</span>, and so on, would begin to
+be showered in, here and there. One of these
+linguists had taken me into his own back garden,
+(he was very fond of animals of all kinds and we
+had gone out to inspect those he had) when he began
+to explain the new improvements on his premises.</p>
+
+<p>We got into a deep discussion on the right way
+of draining a flat roof. &ldquo;Come here&rdquo;, said he, at last.
+&ldquo;Look up there, and you&rsquo;ll see a <strong>goat of mine</strong>
+running all round the open space!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Goat!&rdquo; I exclaimed; &ldquo;it&rsquo;ll fall!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Nonsense&rdquo;, he said, &ldquo;not unless lightning strikes
+it. Firm as a rock! Now, isn&rsquo;t that the right sort
+of <strong>goat to carry the water off</strong>?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>He thought he had said goot in Dutch!</p>
+
+<p>Well now, Jack&rsquo;s beyond <strong>that</strong>. Who had been
+coaching him?</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A HAS A BROAD SOUND.</div>
+
+<p>Naturally I turned up Boyton on pronunciation
+the very first thing at home&mdash;and the mystery
+was solved! I was amazed. Boyton excels in teaching<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>
+the sounds. Here is an extract or two from his</p>
+
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p class="center">REMARKS ON THE DUTCH PRONUNCIATION.</p>
+
+<div class="centered">
+<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="Remarks on the Dutch Pronunciation">
+<tr><td class="col3" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">A</td><td class="col4">has a <strong>broader sound</strong> than in English, <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bal</span>.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col3" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">A A</td><td class="col4">has a <strong>broader sound</strong>, <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">aal</span>.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col3" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">A A U</td><td class="col4"><strong>sounds broad</strong>, as in <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">graauwen</span>, to snarl.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col3" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">E U</td><td class="col4">is described as resembling eu in Europe. For
+the <strong>falsity</strong> thereof, let the word be pronounced
+by a Native, and the <strong>Mistake</strong> will
+be <strong>felt</strong>.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col3" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">G</td><td class="col4">is a guttural letter difficult to an Englishman;
+it can only be acquired by hearing it from a
+<strong>Civilized Native</strong>, e.g. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">gierig</span> and <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">gijzelen</span>.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col3" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">U U</td><td class="col4">No Englishman can emit this sound. It may be
+well heard in <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">vuur</span> (fire) and in <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">guur</span>. Consult
+a Dutch Instructor.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col3" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">E I</td><td class="col4">This sound is beyond the powers of the unassisted
+English Organs of Speech. It must first
+be heard from an educated Hollander.</td></tr>
+<tr><td class="col3" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">U I</td><td class="col4">It is <strong>improper</strong> to make this identical with
+oy as in boy; the native pronunciation must
+be followed.</td></tr>
+</table></div></div>
+
+
+<p>There you have some of the Rules! They won&rsquo;t
+lead you far wrong, in any case. Then, to crown
+all, for fear the diligent reader wouldn&rsquo;t have
+caught the point yet, Boyton goes back to his
+favourite &ldquo;Doctrine of the Native.&rdquo; Here it is:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>The Editor places the learner on his guard against
+receiving wrong references, and directs him to an Instructor,
+or Native, whose Dialect it is, for the sound peculiar to
+each letter.</p></div>
+
+<div class="sidenote">NATIVES.</div>
+
+<p>Bravo, Boyton!</p>
+
+<p>Three kinds of Natives he recommends the
+beginner to consult. He has them arranged in a
+sort of ascending scale&mdash;<strong>the Civilized, the
+Intelligent and the Polite</strong>.</p>
+
+<p>The two former classes will help you with the
+pronunciation, or with <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het</span>.</p>
+
+<p>From the latter you get idioms.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER IV.<br /><br />
+
+<small>AN INTERLUDE AND AN APPLICATION.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>&ldquo;So our friend Jack had to ask always for the
+sounds of the words. That would be right good
+for him,&rdquo; said Bart, &ldquo;and should have made his talk
+intelligible.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well of course it did,&rdquo; said O&rsquo;Neill. &ldquo;They always
+understood the <strong>words</strong> I used. It was the
+applications I made that hampered them.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I had great trouble with a chatty old gentleman
+in the tram one morning going down to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Scheveningen</span>.
+It was just seven&mdash;I was hurrying to
+get an early dip, and he seemed bent on the
+same errand.</p>
+
+
+<p class="r2">Attracted by my blazer and towel he opened
+conversation about sea-bathing, and then proceeded<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>
+to discourse on the beauties of the landscape. He
+seemed chilled by the poverty of my adjectives,
+though I worked them vigorously.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote r2">A LOFTY CANOPY OF GREEN.</div>
+
+<p class="r2">&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Deze weg vin je zeker wel mooi?</span>&rdquo; he said
+at last, looking up at the arched green overhead.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Of houd U niet van de natuur?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, zeker wel!</span>&rdquo; I hastened to assure him. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik
+houd er erg van&mdash;Het is prachtig! Net een
+tunnel van geboomte&mdash;van loofgroen.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="r2">Then observing the pleasure my encomiums gave
+him, I ventured on something a little more lofty
+and poetic. My landlady had occasionally talked
+about a &ldquo;canopy,&rdquo; which, so far as I had understood
+her, I took to mean the vast cupola of hangings
+over the old-fashioned bed in my lodging. She
+used to say that the canopy was new and beautiful,
+and needed constant dusting.</p>
+
+<p>I had always agreed to this, but never dreamt
+of hunting up a word that to all intents and purposes
+seemed the same as in English.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Indrukwekkend schoon</span>,&rdquo; I added. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wij zitten,
+als het ware, onder een canopey</span> (that was my
+landlady&rsquo;s pronunciation) <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van bladeren.</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Een kanapé, mijnheer?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja</span>,&rdquo; said I, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">een verheven canopy, niet waar?</span></p>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wij zeilen onder een groene canopy&mdash;verbazend</span>&mdash;<span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">magnifique!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">BENT U EEN DICHTER?</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hoe bedoelt U dat?</span>&rdquo; said the old gentleman
+more and more puzzled, and determined to find
+out my meaning.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wij zitten hier, niet waar?</span>&rdquo; I began slowly;
+then pointing to the roof of green over our heads,
+I explained: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">dat alles vormt een prachtige canopy
+boven ons heen. Zeker wel?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik geloof het niet</span>&rdquo;, said the chatty old gentleman.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">De tram gelijkt ook niet op een kanapé;
+of meent U dat?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">De tram niet</span>,&rdquo; I exclaimed, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">maar de boomen;
+kijk; het gebladerte, het geboomte en de hooge dak
+dat ze maken&mdash;dat alles zoo schitterend groen,
+dat is, mijns bedunkens, niets dan een canopy,
+uitgehangen zoo te spreken, over ons heen, in
+uitgestrekte schoonheid.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="r2">The old gentleman surely was a little dull. He
+said, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik begrijp niet goed wat u zegt. Waar is
+de canapé? Of bedoelt U soms een badstoel&mdash;op
+het strand?</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee</span>&rdquo;, I answered with a deprecating smile; &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik
+sprak maar poetisch. <strong>Verheven</strong></span>&rdquo;, I added with
+a wave of my towel towards the greenery overhead.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hé</span>,&rdquo; said he with friendly interest, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bent U
+een dichter? Ik had U voor een schilder gehouden,&rdquo;
+he explained with a glance at my blazer.</span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE CLOTURE.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik&mdash;een dichter!</span>&rdquo; I returned modestly.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Neen; niet erg. Op een kleine schaal, misschien.</span>&rdquo;
+<strong>On a small scale</strong>, I meant to say; but I must
+have mangled the <strong>sch</strong> badly, for he didn&rsquo;t catch
+the point, and I heard him mutter: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Een sjaal!
+een sjaal, EN een kanapé!!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja zeker, mijnheer</span>,&rdquo; I reasoned; &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">U ziet het
+zelf voor U&mdash;daar onder de boomen&mdash;dat IS
+hier een canopy&mdash;</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Pardon</span>&rdquo;, he interrupted, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">dat is niet waar.
+Dat zijn gewone houten banken,&rdquo; he persisted
+argumentatively. &ldquo;En wat bedoelt U met een sjaal?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p class="r2">How pertinacious the old gentleman was! He
+stuck to me like a leech. I couldn&rsquo;t shake him off;
+and we were still far off the Kurhaus.</p>
+
+<p>It was clearly a case for Boyton&rsquo;s conversational
+method.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN INTERLUDE AND AN APPLICATION.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mejuffrouw!</span>&rdquo; I said firmly, leaning towards<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>
+him, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik ken Uwe edelmoedigheid genoeg.
+Maar</span>&rdquo;&mdash;and here I added two nice little local
+idioms from the rich stores of my memory&mdash;&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">maar&mdash;U
+komt pas te kijken.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>That told him he wasn&rsquo;t looking at the matter
+in true philosophic perspective.</p>
+
+<p>But this I followed up, in a more authoritative
+way, with the assurance that I didn&rsquo;t at
+all agree with him. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Waarempeltjes</span>,&rdquo; I whispered
+with elaborate distinctness, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik heb het land aan je!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+
+<p class="r2">The chatty old gentleman got off at the next
+<span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">halte</span>.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER V.<br /><br />
+
+<small>THE &lsquo;COMPENDIOUS GUIDE&rsquo; ON DUTCH SYNTAX.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>Boyton&rsquo;s monograph on pronunciation is his
+finest piece of work. He never quite reaches that
+level elsewhere; and, if he is destined after a
+hundred and fifty years to achieve a name, it had
+better rest on his &lsquo;Doctrine of the Native&rsquo; than on
+his Syntax.</p>
+
+<p>So <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Dam</span> assured us, when our little party
+met in his room the week before Christmas.</p>
+
+<p>We had all been busy; but busy or not, the Cape
+men found time to skim over Boyton&rsquo;s entertaining
+paragraphs, as, indeed, we guessed, from the frequent
+guffaws and readings that reached us from time
+to time through the closed doors. To night we had
+accepted an invitation to supper, before the holidays;
+and we were to hear his views on O&rsquo;Neill&rsquo;s<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>
+&lsquo;Guide, Philosopher and Friend&rsquo;, Boyton,&mdash;in
+other words the <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">&lsquo;Wegwijzer tot de nederduitsche
+taal&rsquo;</i>. Long since Jack had, indeed, got other and
+more modern manuals of Dutch, so that he was
+supposed to look now with a certain contempt on
+his former monitor: but the &ldquo;compendious guide&rdquo;
+had laid the basis of his erudition, and he had
+still a sneaking regard for its honest old pages.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">NO DEFINITE RULES.</div>
+
+<p>What we wanted, indeed, was stories from Jack
+himself: but we had exhausted the more dramatic
+of these; and to get the fine aroma of the others&mdash;there
+were still many others&mdash;we thought some
+acquaintance with the compendium&rsquo;s syntax was
+essential.</p>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Van Dam</span> had undertaken to put us up to
+any niceties he had been struck with.</p>
+
+<p>The first thing he told us was that Boyton had
+no clear ideas of any sort, and never laid down
+any definite rule. This lent him a certain diffidence
+in regard to most points,&mdash;a diffidence which
+in the case of <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">HET</span> became positive fright. At
+the first mention of <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">de</span>, <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">het</span>, and an <strong>adjective</strong>,
+he gives as much encouragement as he can.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">ALL NOUNS TO WHICH <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">HET</span> IS PREFIXED ARE NEUTER.</div>
+
+<p>It is not much.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>An insurmountable Difficulty for the Englischman is the
+right use of the Particles, especially <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">het</span>. Sufficient rules
+cannot be given, E. g. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">het mooie kind: eene sterke vrouw,
+een zwart schip.</span></p>
+
+<p><strong>This is certain, that all Nouns, to which
+the Particles, <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">het</span>, <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">dat</span>, or <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">dit</span>, are added
+are of the Neuter Gender; on this account,
+the e final, in the Adjectives, when joined
+with such words, is, generally, rejected.</strong></p>
+
+<p>Even this rule admits of an exception. E. G. It is never
+said: <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">een snel vogel: de groote paard</span>. But it
+is correct to say, if the meaning admits it, <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">een groote
+man</span>. (also <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">groot</span>.) A native may be consulted with
+advantage.</p></div>
+
+
+<p>When Boyton is labouring under strong emotion,
+the effect is always to increase the number of
+commas, colons, and other stops.</p>
+
+<p>His agitation may also be traced in the way
+he harks back to any fundamental rule that he
+has already discussed ad nauseam.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote"><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">DEN</span> IS NOT A PURE NOMINATIVE.</div>
+
+<p>It is quite pathetic to note how he urges on
+his readers to reserve their dezen and dien and
+den for the accusative.</p>
+
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span></p>
+<div class="blockquot"><p>It is good Dutch to say: <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik zag dien braven man
+gisteren</span>, <cite>I saw that honest man yesterday;</cite> <strong>but it
+is very bad Dutch,&mdash;whatever custom
+may have introduced in some places;
+to say</strong>&mdash;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">dien braven man heeft het gezegd.</span></p></div>
+
+<p>Take some gems at random.</p>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>N.B. Prepositions are that part of speech, which are so
+called because they are, commonly, put before the
+words, which are subsequent to them, as <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">onder</span> and
+<span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ondanks</span>.</p></div>
+
+<div class="blockquot"><p>N.B. Most Adverbs may be distinguished from adjectives
+by this rule: If a substantive is added after them,
+they will make <strong>nonsense</strong>; whereas, being joined
+to an Adjective or a Verb, they will make good
+sense.</p></div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;What I admire most,&rdquo; said <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Dam</span> handing
+back The Work to O&rsquo;Neill, &ldquo;is the elasticity of
+the rules. He says, for instance, that you can render
+<strong>I know</strong> by <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik weet</span>, and on the whole he is
+inclined to recommend that way of it. But he
+never commits himself.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<strong>It must be also admitted that
+there are other authors of good standing
+who employ the Subjunctive
+form where we might expect the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>
+Indicative and who say</strong> <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">IK WETE</span>, <strong>I
+know</strong>.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">IK GRAUW, IK KEF, EN IK KWEEL.</div>
+
+<p>That&rsquo;s one of his rules!</p>
+
+<p>As a matter of fact there is no finality about
+anything in these pages. O&rsquo;Neill, you were in
+training for a poet when you took up this book.
+I confess I should have liked to hear you going over
+your fifteen classes of irregular verbs, on the
+model (say) of <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik grauw, ik kef en ik kweel</span>, or
+even of <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik krijsch, ik piep en ik lieg.</span></p>
+
+<p>There is a rich profusion of tenses too in Boyton.
+He needn&rsquo;t have apologized for being too simple
+when he furnishes you with four ordinary optatives
+and four future optatives.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A BOYTON TO THE RESCUE.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;You may jest as you like about Boyton&rdquo;,
+interrupted Jack; &ldquo;but I tell you it&rsquo;s a book that
+has points. Do you know it once helped me to
+save a lady&rsquo;s life?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Save a lady&rsquo;s life!&rdquo; said the Professor and
+the Philosopher in one breath. &ldquo;We&rsquo;ll withdraw
+all we&rsquo;ve said, if you&rsquo;ll prove to us, now, that
+the &lsquo;Compendious Guide&rsquo; was ever the least good
+to any human being.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Tell your adventure in your own way, O&rsquo;Neill,&rdquo;
+a boyish voice chimed in; &ldquo;and shame the cynics.&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>We all glared at the First-year&rsquo;s man&mdash;who
+was making himself very much at home for a
+lad of his tender years&mdash;but as he had nothing
+more to say, we let him off with a look, and
+turned to the lethargic story-teller.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER VI.<br /><br />
+
+<small>THE GRAMMATICAL CARESS.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>&ldquo;You saved life with that Boyton-Grammar of
+yours, if I catch the drift of your last remark?&rdquo;
+interposed the Professor magniloquently, as if he
+were addressing a public meeting.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;May I hazard the guess that Boyton on that
+occasion was rather a weapon of offence than of
+defence?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well, you&rsquo;re right,&rdquo; said O&rsquo;Neill. &ldquo;Offence is
+more in Boyton&rsquo;s line. And he certainly did press
+heavily, that day, on a butcher&rsquo;s boy. You remember
+those <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">slagersjongens</span> that saunter about, in
+white linen coats, with great protruding baskets
+on their shoulders. They jostle and push wherever
+they have a chance, and whirl round with their
+cargoes of meat, so as to make you start. You<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span>
+know the tribe. Well, Boyton proved an admirable
+corrective to the insolence of one of these
+imps.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A HAPPY CROWD.</div>
+
+<p>It was a day there was a sort of festival in
+the Hague.</p>
+
+<p>From early in the afternoon there was a crush
+everywhere. The <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">singels</span> and the main roads
+through the Wood were filled with holiday-makers.
+Soldiers were parading here and there. Everyone
+was in the best of good humour; music in the
+distance rose and fell on the air; flags fluttered
+from the windows. Look where you might, there
+were bright dresses, prancing horses, snorting motors,
+and pedestrians of all descriptions.</p>
+
+<p>I was one of the pedestrians.</p>
+
+<p>I had been at my grammar in the morning;
+and after a long spell in the house had stepped
+over to Enderby&rsquo;s, and coaxed that lazy fellow
+out for a stroll. It was perfect weather, and the
+crowds were wonderfully well-behaved. We enjoyed
+ourselves finely &lsquo;under the green-wood tree,&rsquo; till
+we were brought to a stand-still in a dense mass
+of humanity that was packed along the edge of
+a canal, scarcely moving. A procession or something
+had impeded the traffic some moments.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">INNOCENCE IN DANGER.</div>
+
+<p>There was a knot of butchers&rsquo; boys right in front
+of us. They were roughly shoving their neighbours
+about, and seeing what mischief they could do.
+Horse play, in fact. They didn&rsquo;t seem to fit into
+Boyton&rsquo;s categories, either of &lsquo;Natives intelligent&rsquo;
+or &lsquo;polite&rsquo;.</p>
+
+<p>Presently one brawny scoundrel began to throw
+stones at the occupants of a carriage that was slowly
+passing by.</p>
+
+<p>I couldn&rsquo;t believe my eyes!</p>
+
+<p>There sat an old lady of eighty or ninety,
+with soft white hair&mdash;the very picture of
+fragility; opposite her was a nurse in dark uniform,
+in charge of three dainty little children in pink
+and white&mdash;mere babies of three or four&mdash;with
+innocent blue eyes gazing all round them.
+And, actually, that ruffianly <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">knecht</span> was about
+to bombard the group with whatever he had in
+his hand!</p>
+
+<p>Bang went a big mass of something&mdash;presumably
+hard, from the rattle it made&mdash;against
+the side of the carriage.</p>
+
+<p>Happily he was a poor marksman, that rascally
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">slager</span>; for at that short range he ought to have
+been able to demolish so fragile an old lady at the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span>
+first shot, or at the very least have put out one eye.</p>
+
+<p>As it was, he only knocked off her bonnet.</p>
+
+<p>Enraged, apparently, at his poor practice at a
+practically stationary target so close at hand, he
+picked up another half-brick and wheeled, to take
+more deliberate aim.</p>
+
+<p>The delicate old lady grew pale, and spasmodically
+fumbled with her parasol to shield the children.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">NEMESIS.</div>
+
+<p>I thought her eye caught mine; and, seeing
+there was no escape for her unless I interposed&mdash;no
+one till now seemed to have noticed the
+occurrence&mdash;I shouted, &ldquo;<span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Stop, slager, stop</span>!&rdquo;
+and whisked Boyton&rsquo;s learned pages right into
+his face, taking care at the same moment to administer
+a vigorous push to the long arm of the
+lever conveniently made by his basket.</p>
+
+<p>This forced him to revolve suddenly on his own
+axis&mdash;beefsteak and all; and, as he spun round,
+I accelerated his motion with a pat or two from
+the &lsquo;<strong>compendium</strong>&rsquo;. It was all the work of an
+instant, and executed just in time. The grammatical
+caress foiled his aim completely, and he flung
+his missile blindly in the wrong direction.</p>
+
+<p>As I slipped unostentatiously into the crowd out
+of the immediate neighbourhood of the discomfited<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span>
+marksman, I had the satisfaction of seeing the
+dear old lady recover colour and smile. The babies
+crowed with delight, and clapped their hands. They
+thought it was a game got up for their special
+benefit!</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE OUTCOME OF A REVOLUTION.</div>
+
+<p>I raised my hat and retired, a warm glow of
+self-approval in my breast, and on my lips an
+involuntary quotation from Boyton: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">De spraakkunst
+is voor iedereen onmisbaar.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Meantime the brickbat fell harmlessly on the
+back of a policeman who, with hands tightly
+clasped behind him, was studying a bed of scarlet
+geraniums.</p>
+
+<p>He never even turned, but only said &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, ja</span>,&rdquo;
+over his shoulder!</p>
+
+<p>Two days after this adventure my eye caught
+the following paragraph among the advertisements
+in the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nieuwe Courant</span>:</p>
+
+<div class="centered"><div class="bbox"><p class="center">&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Stop, Slager, stop!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The Baroness X. and her three grandchildren
+herewith beg heartily to thank the young
+Englishman for his gallant conduct in the Wood,
+on the 31st Ultimo.</p></div></div>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER VII.<br /><br />
+
+<small>A GOSSIPY LETTER.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t talk any more about that grammar-book,&rdquo;
+I interposed. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s all very well in its way, but
+it doesn&rsquo;t account for half Jack&rsquo;s adventures. Now
+I can let you into a secret. Please don&rsquo;t look so
+apprehensive, O&rsquo;Neill! As it happens, I had a
+descriptive letter from Enderby just about the
+time that Jack was making the most brilliant
+progress with his Dutch vocabulary. It gave me
+a vivid picture of what was going on in the Hague
+when this linguist of ours got really started to
+work.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">O&rsquo;NEILL AS A GUIDE.</div>
+
+<p>Here are two of these long epistles. In the first
+he tells me all about the MacNamaras&mdash;Jack&rsquo;s
+cousins, you know&mdash;who came across from
+Kilkenny, for a trip to Holland. They were at the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span>
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Oude Doelen</span> when he wrote, and our friend Jack
+was posing as a great Dutch scholar and showing
+them the sights.</p>
+
+<p>
+<span class="ri3">(From Enderby to Cuey-na-Gael)</span><br />
+<span class="ri2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Doelen Hotel,</span><br />
+<span class="ri1">The Hague.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>My dear Cuey-na-Gael,</p>
+
+<p class="i4">You would be amazed to see the confidence
+with which O&rsquo;Neill acts as guide to the
+MacNamaras.</p>
+
+<p>MacNamara <span class="g" lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">père</span> is mostly buried in museums,
+or is on the hunt for archaeological papers, so
+Kathleen and Terence are left on Jack&rsquo;s hands.</p>
+
+<p>He has been everywhere with them, and has
+evidently impressed them with his astounding
+Dutch. To them it seems both correct and fluent.
+They have only had three days of it as yet, and
+haven&rsquo;t had time to find him out. Kathleen is as
+haughty as ever; and I can see she chafes at being
+obliged to submit to the direction of a mere boy,
+as she regards Jack.</p>
+
+<p>She was furious the day before yesterday, when
+in passing through one of the back streets he asked
+her if she had ever noticed what the Dutch
+Government printed in front of the surgeries.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">MEN MANGLED HERE.</div>
+
+<p>She glanced up and, to her horror, read: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hier
+mangelt men.</span>&rdquo; It was only a momentary shock;
+she guessed soon enough what it meant; but it
+gave her a turn all the same. Perhaps it wasn&rsquo;t
+a very finished kind of joke, but she needn&rsquo;t have
+been quite so fierce about it.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;You&rsquo;re cruel,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;cruel and heartless!
+Why even your dogmatic and intolerable chum, Mr.
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span> wouldn&rsquo;t have been so harsh as that.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Now it was that little speech of hers that
+suggested something to me. Was there ever anything
+between her and <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span>? They were at
+the University about the same time, and it seems
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span> was a great friend of the father,
+who had him down to his place in the country
+and showed him his manuscripts. But I believe
+Kathleen couldn&rsquo;t stand him. They used always
+to be arguing about the Suffragettes, and passed
+for official enemies, in a way,&mdash;at least as uncompromising
+leaders on opposite sides. She was fond of
+saying that <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span> was a standing proof that
+mere learning couldn&rsquo;t enlarge the mind. Once
+in a private debate she referred to him as a
+&ldquo;learned barbarian and a retrograde mediævalist.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">NOUN HUNGER.</div>
+
+<p>She was called to order for it, of course; but<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span>
+her apology didn&rsquo;t amount to much. She said she
+wouldn&rsquo;t mind dropping the adjectives, but she
+would stick to the nouns.</p>
+
+<p>I believe <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span> was quite content, however,
+and congratulated his witty antagonist on
+the fact that she would mellow with time.</p>
+
+<p>We always thought in those days they were
+sworn foes, and always would be. But I have a
+dim idea there is now more friendly interest on both
+sides. And, by the way, <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span> has been
+carrying on brisk correspondence with O&rsquo;Neill,
+especially since he heard the MacNamaras were
+expected. He has offered his services, and those of
+his motor, to all and sundry, especially if they
+hail from Dublin: so I don&rsquo;t think he can be keeping
+up very much of a grudge.</p>
+
+<p>But I was going to tell you about Jack.</p>
+
+<p>Lately I had noticed that his Dutch vocabulary
+was growing very rich. He seemed to have quite
+a hunger for nouns, and he used to ask the names
+of everything. But I have no idea of what he was
+up to. To day I&rsquo;ll find out and write you.</p>
+
+<p>Much haste. Yours as ever.<br />
+<span class="ri2">Enderby.</span><br />
+<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote r2" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">KINDSCH GEWORDEN.</div>
+
+<p class="center r2">
+(From Enderby to Cuey-na-Gael)</p>
+
+<p>Dear Cuey,</p>
+
+<p class="i4">I&rsquo;ve just been at the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Doelen</span> Hotel&mdash;and
+the Macs are gone! Very sudden I must
+say. I suppose Kathleen has got tired of Holland;
+or is she trying to avoid <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span>?</p>
+
+<p>You see MacNamara <span class="g" lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">mère</span> had written me a
+friendly little note from Kilkenny, telling me
+that the Doctor&mdash;as she always calls her husband&mdash;had
+got a trifle absent-minded since his
+deafness became troublesome, and would I look
+him up occasionally during his stay in the Hague,
+and give him some advice about the Rhine.</p>
+
+<p>Well, when I reached <span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Vieux</span> <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Doelen</span>, the birds
+were flown. Gone at six o&rsquo;clock, I was told&mdash;the
+three of them&mdash;to <span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Cologne</span>! Quick work, I
+thought; so I made a bee-line for O&rsquo;Neill&rsquo;s. He
+surely would know about this sudden departure.</p>
+
+<p>And in any case I wanted to get a glimpse of
+his new mysterious studies.</p>
+
+<p>Just fancy! The landlady met me at the door
+with tears in her eyes.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">A ROMMEL.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">O Mijnheer, Mijnheer!</span>&rdquo; she exclaimed half-sobbing.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik vrees voor mijnheer O&rsquo;Neill. Hij studeert
+te veel, of ik weet het niet&mdash;maar het is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span>
+niet goed met hem. Ik geloof</span>&rdquo;, and here her voice
+sank to a horrified whisper, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">dat hij een beetje
+kindsch geworden is; want hij heeft speelgoed
+gekocht, en hij maak overal zoo een rommel.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, juffrouw</span>,&rdquo; I strove to explain, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer
+studeert natuurlijk.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>But she persisted, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Oh mijnheer! studeeren is
+het niet. Hij ziet het scherm voor een kachel aan,
+en verknoeit alles. Ik ben zoo bang, zoo benauwd!
+Ik durf het huis niet uit, van Maandag af al!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Rather flustered by all this, I promised to call
+the doctor if it were necessary; then climbed up
+the stairs to O&rsquo;Neill&rsquo;s door.</p>
+
+<p>All was still. I knocked and entered. What a sight
+met my eyes! Indeed it was enough to astonish
+more experienced people than the landlady.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">HOME-MADE BERLITZ.</div>
+
+<p>Neatly fastened on one side of the table was a
+model train, engine and all. Beside it was a toy
+house, with yard, garden, and stiff wooden trees.
+Then there was a bit of a doll&rsquo;s room with a
+kitchen stove. And verily to every one of these
+articles there was a label affixed.</p>
+
+<p>There sat the student, pen in hand, with a
+dictionary and a gum-bottle at his elbow. Snippets of
+paper littered his writing-desk and the floor around.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>
+His unfinished lunch (labelled too) looked down
+reproachfully from a pile of books built on the table.</p>
+
+<p>Over the gorgeous screen that hid the hearth
+a conspicuous card was hung, bearing the mystic
+inscription, &ldquo;What ought to be here&mdash;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Kachel.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>No wonder the careful hospita was upset. It
+would have been hard to say whether the apartment
+was more like a museum or an auction room.</p>
+
+<p>He glanced up with a sort of blush when I came
+near; but raised his hand to enjoin silence, as
+he found the word he was in search of, and wrote
+it down.</p>
+
+<p>Half expecting to see prices marked, I examined
+some of the labels.</p>
+
+<p>Nearly every thing had its Dutch name gummed
+on to it, such as &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">spiegel lijst</span>,&rsquo; &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">behangsel</span>,&rsquo; &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">schotel
+of bakje</span>,&rsquo; and even on his sleeve &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">mouw van
+mijn jas.</span>&rsquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s all right!&rdquo; he burst forth enthusiastically.
+&ldquo;Doing Berlitz Dutch, you see! Self-taught, too!
+Splendid plan. Three hundred words a day. I&rsquo;ll
+have two thousand new nouns at my fingers&rsquo; ends
+before the Macs are back from the Drachenfels.
+Precious few things in the ordinary way of life,
+I won&rsquo;t know then! Eh, what?&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">SPOORWEG BEPALINGEN.</div>
+
+<p>Then it dawned upon me he was getting up
+vocabulary.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Nouns, of course,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;All nouns. That&rsquo;s
+the secret. True basis of any language.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s a discovery of my own. If you know the
+names of two or three thousand material things,
+you can never be at a loss. But I stick in a proverb,
+too, here and there, wherever it comes handy. See?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>He held up the sleeve of his dressing-gown on
+which the candid announcement was made in bold
+round-hand: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik heb het achter de mouw</span>&rdquo;, and
+pointed to his bread-knife, which was tastefully
+adorned with the words: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het mes op de keel zetten.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Yes, I saw.</p>
+
+<p>Well; then he explained, and argued, and tried
+to proselytize me. He was making hay while the
+sun shone&mdash;which meant that he was preparing,
+in the absence of Terence and Kathleen, for his
+famous cycling-tour; getting on his armour, in fact.</p>
+
+<p>In such spirits I had never seen him.</p>
+
+<p>And, I must say, he made out a good case for
+his method. It seems he had anticipated most of
+the queries he might be obliged to put during his
+travels. He had docketed every part of a railway
+carriage, and even mastered all sorts of regulations,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span>
+from those of the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Luxe-trein</span> to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Buurtverkeer</span>,
+and from the yearly ticket to the humble <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">perronkaartje</span>.
+It looked very thorough, and I understood
+that he had treated his cycle the same way. But
+I have grave doubts! I am the more confirmed in
+my scepticism from what the landlady told me at the
+door. After reassuring her on the score of O&rsquo;Neill&rsquo;s
+health, I emphasised the fact that he was going on a
+trip, and must practise Dutch by way of preparation.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">GROOTE WATER-BAAS</span>.</div>
+
+<p>That was worse than all, she thought; as <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer</span>
+O&rsquo;Neill would certainly come to harm. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hij is
+zoo veranderd! Hè! Het is zoo eng.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Yesterday he had asked her about the print of
+a sea-fight that her little boy had put up in the
+hall. She said it was <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">de Ruyter</span>; and began to
+expatiate on that hero&rsquo;s achievements.</p>
+
+<p>But he cut her short with: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Een beroemde
+man was hij zeker; misschien de grootste <cite>water-baas</cite>
+van zijn tijd.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>I explained that he probably meant <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">zee-held;</i>
+but not remembering the right term in time, had
+taken one like it.</p>
+
+<p>But the landlady could not be pacified.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het doet mij huiveren te denken dat hij op
+reis gaat!</span>&rdquo; she said.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">TWO THOUSAND NEW WORDS.</div>
+
+<p>I was not without my apprehensions either.
+For he means to start out next week with two
+thousand new words.</p>
+
+<p>He&rsquo;ll probably find that such hastily acquired
+information is not without its drawbacks.</p>
+
+<p>But more again.<br />
+
+<span class="ri3">Vale, vale.</span><br />
+<span class="ri2">As ever yours,</span><br />
+<span class="ri1">Phil Enderby.</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<p>P. S. The Macs are gone to Bonn, where
+your uncle expects to find wonderful manuscripts.
+Not much fun for Kathleen though! And Terence
+will be bored to death. Why doesn&rsquo;t O&rsquo;Neill
+bring him back to Holland and show him
+Amsterdam and other towns?</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER VIII.<br /><br />
+
+<small>THE SURPRISES OF THE <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">MAAS</span>.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well, well!&rdquo; ejaculated O&rsquo;Neill irritably. &ldquo;What
+an inveterate old gossip Enderby is, to be sure!</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Of course I got Terence back quite soon from
+Bonn, where he had nothing to do; and I gave
+him a splendid time sight-seeing in <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Haarlem</span> and
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Amsterdam</span>. I&rsquo;ll tell you about that, another time.</p>
+
+<p>But first about my run to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Rotterdam</span>, where
+I went one day for a little change I needed.</p>
+
+<p>The landlady was a bit peevish and hysterical,
+and, of course, very bothersome. She never quite
+took to the Berlitz method, as I had improved it;
+and she became grandmotherly to me from the
+moment I made that slip about the <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">zee-held</i>.</p>
+
+<p>The whole thing was getting on her nerves,
+so I gave her a rest. Took a day off, in fact;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>
+and went for a tour round the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Rotterdam havens</span>.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">FAIRYLAND.</div>
+
+<p>I had some idea of recapitulating the old ground&mdash;the
+first thousand words, you know&mdash;whilst
+I should be steaming around the harbour. But
+as soon as we pushed off from the wharf and
+went skimming over the sun-lit <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Maas</span>, the brilliant
+and animated scene wiped the new vocabulary clean
+out of my mind for the time-being; and I didn&rsquo;t
+feel at all inclined to dig it out of my notes.</p>
+
+<p>The marvellous colouring of everything held me
+spell-bound. It was like fairyland. Our boat was
+crowded, and a man on board pointed out the
+sights. That was the only Dutch study I got that
+day; for some one began to speak to me in English&mdash;an
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Amsterdammer</span>, as it appeared, who told
+me that the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">grachten in Amsterdam</span> surpassed every
+other spectacle the world had to show; and made
+me promise to go and see them as soon as I could.</p>
+
+<p>I asked him what he thought of the harbour we
+were in; but he wasn&rsquo;t so enthusiastic.</p>
+
+<p>Meantime it had grown darker, and a steady,
+cold, sea-fog drifted round us. It got dismally wet,
+as well as gloomy; and the deck dripped with
+clammy moisture. We were hardly moving, presently;
+and our captain kept the steam whistle hard at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span>
+work. The sight-seers were grievously disappointed;
+and one fellow-victim informed me it would be
+a good thing if we got near land anywhere, in
+time to catch the last train.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">IK KRIJSCH, IK FLUIT EN IK GIL.</div>
+
+<p>Horns kept booming around us, every few seconds;
+perky little tugs and immense black hulls swept
+by us at arm&rsquo;s length, piping or bellowing, according
+to their temperament and ability.</p>
+
+<p>The <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Amsterdammer</span> and I had gone to the prow,
+to try and peer a little further into the dense
+curling vapour, when a siren&mdash;I think that&rsquo;s
+what you call the thing&mdash;gave such a sudden
+blood-curdling yell at our very elbow, it seemed as if
+we had trodden on the tail of the true and original Sea-serpent,
+and that the reptile was shrieking in agony.</p>
+
+<p>From that time on, we had sea-serpents every
+other minute&mdash;whole swarms of them&mdash;infuriated,
+inquisitive or resigned&mdash;soprano, alto, tenor;&mdash;all
+whining, hooting and snorting; every one trying
+to howl all the others down.</p>
+
+<p>Excuse my referring to it, but it was the best
+illustration I had yet got of Boyton&rsquo;s verbs.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik graauw, ik kef en ik kweel!</span>&rdquo; said one set of
+voices. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik krijsch, ik fluit en ik gil!</span>&rdquo; answered
+their rivals.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">POLYPHEMUS AND THE SEA-SERPENT.</div>
+
+<p>But the deep boom of new-comers swept the
+earlier songsters out of the field: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik rammel, ik ratel
+en ik scheur</span>&rdquo;. It was a regular chorus.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik gier en ik piep</span>&rdquo;, squeaked the little tugs,
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik fop en ik jok</span>&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<p>But the first musicians&mdash;the sentimental ones&mdash;wouldn&rsquo;t
+be outdone. They were evidently turning
+over their grammars very rapidly, to get a really
+melancholy selection, for in another moment their
+lugubrious snuffle pierced the fog like a knife:
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik wee-ee-een; ik krijt; en ik hui-ui-ui-l-l!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>There was one long-drawn-out sob, that rose and
+fell and rose again with such appalling and expressive
+anguish that I could have imagined half
+the Netherlands had turned into a gigantic sea-serpent,
+and had bitten off its own tongue. So
+human, too, was its tortured wail, that I instinctively
+thought of Polyphemus having his eye
+gouged out by Ulysses. The hero, you remember,
+did it with a burning pine. One has a horrible
+sympathy for Polyphemus, even though he is a
+monster and mythical.</p>
+
+<p>Happily our Polyphemus only gave two or three
+of his prize yells. Then he seemed to settle into
+sleep, away down the river somewhere.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">CLOTHO.</div>
+
+<p>The Amsterdam-man explained to me that in
+his city the fog-horns were much more musical.</p>
+
+<p>This thesis was warmly contested by a <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Rotterdammer</span>
+who had overheard it, and who spoke of
+the Capital with a distinct want of reverence.</p>
+
+<p>The argument soon deviated into Dutch, and
+I lost hold of it; but through a cloud of statistics
+and history I observed that local patriotism on
+both sides stood at fever heat.</p>
+
+<p>By and by, the fog thinned a little; and we crept
+along to a landing-stage, where the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Amsterdammer</span>
+and I climbed on shore with alacrity. We lost
+our way at first, and wandered about within earshot
+of the siren-brood, whooping and calling and
+taunting one another on the river; but my new-made
+friend stumbled at last on some spot he was
+acquainted with; and hastily giving me some directions,
+went off to his train.</p>
+
+<p>After the long Polyphemus-concert on the murky
+river I wasn&rsquo;t in much humour for Dutch, but I
+had to speak it at every corner to ask my way.</p>
+
+<p>In an open thoroughfare&mdash;there were some
+people about, but not many&mdash;near an archway,
+I came upon Clotho.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">GLOOM AND MYSTERY.</div>
+
+<p>Perhaps the Greek Mythology was running in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>
+my head: but there she sat. Old beyond words, but
+hale; wrapped up marvellously with head and jaws
+swathed in dim flannel, she gazed, without moving,
+on a table in front of her, spread with dried eels
+and other occult delicacies. As I approached, to
+enquire for the &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">kortste weg naar de electrische tram</span>&rsquo;,
+she didn&rsquo;t move a muscle. Something about her made
+me pause upon my step, and refrain from speech.</p>
+
+<p>No movement.</p>
+
+<p>But wait! One thickly muffled hand went out
+to some obscure eatable, slowly grasped it, dipped
+it in a sort of cup, then, still more slowly, brought
+it to her lips.</p>
+
+<p>Yes. She was alive; for she munched, calmly
+and dispassionately.</p>
+
+<p>The sight impressed me. It was like Fate; or
+an ancient priestess performing mysterious rites.
+Clotho would look like this, if Clotho would munch
+instead of spin.</p>
+
+<p>Meantime the inevitable butcher&rsquo;s boy had
+joined me. Two of them, indeed, stood at my side,
+curious to know what interested the <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">vreemdeling</span>.</p>
+
+<p>The old lady never winced under the scrutiny,
+but put forth her hand again for another shell.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">WHAT IS <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">TREK</span>?</div>
+
+<p>There was a book-stall near, but nobody at it,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>
+as far as I could see. The whole street sounded
+hollow; and everything dripped. It made me
+shiver to look at the stone-pillars, oozy and moist,
+with condensed sea-fog trickling down. The glaring
+street-lamps hardly lit up the scene; but they
+showed the damp. Polyphemus gave a distant
+whoop, as if it were his last: and the Spectre
+munched. She hadn&rsquo;t once looked up.</p>
+
+<p>It all felt like a dream&mdash;except for the
+butchers&rsquo; boys.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wat doet ze&mdash;die oude mejuffrouw?</span>&rdquo; I
+enquired.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ze zit te eten</span>,&rdquo; was the prompt reply.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Waarom zit ze te eten daar?</span>&rdquo; I asked.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Om dat ze trek heeft!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>A snigger went round the company. Evidently
+that reply was of the nature of wit; and they
+expected something sparkling from me in return.</p>
+
+<p><strong>But</strong> I couldn&rsquo;t sparkle.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE SOCRATIC DIALOGUE.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Trek</span>&rdquo; was unknown to me. Strange, how you
+can be bowled over by a simple word, if you&rsquo;ve
+never heard it. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Trekken&mdash;trok&mdash;getrokken</span>, was
+familiar. That meant &lsquo;to pull,&rsquo; &lsquo;draw,&rsquo; or &lsquo;wander&rsquo;.
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">&ldquo;Trekschuit&rdquo;&mdash;&ldquo;trekpot&rdquo;&mdash;&ldquo;trekvogel&rdquo;</span>; I
+had them all labelled on my desk in the Hague.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span>
+But &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">trek</span>&rdquo; itself, what was that exactly? Provided
+of course, the youth were grammatical,&mdash;which
+I very much doubted.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Zij heeft getrokken</span>,&rdquo; however, when I tried
+it, only raised new difficulties. <strong>What</strong> then did
+she pull, and <strong>why</strong>?</p>
+
+<p>&lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Trekvogel</span>&rsquo; was an alluring idea to follow up, in
+a town where <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan Olieslagers</span>&rsquo; fame was universal:
+but common sense forbade my pursuing that line far.</p>
+
+<p>The defects of my home-made Berlitz became
+painfully evident. It&rsquo;s humiliating, when you have
+your 2000 new nouns at your fingers&rsquo; ends, and
+hundreds of old ones; and yet can&rsquo;t understand
+the first thing a <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">knecht</span> says.</p>
+
+<p>But the bystanders were growing impatient; so&mdash;to
+withdraw gracefully&mdash;I enquired, &ldquo;wat
+is <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">trek?&rdquo;</i></p>
+
+<p>It was probably the best retort I could have
+made. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, wat is het?</span>&rdquo; he soliloquised, evidently
+puzzled, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik weet het niet. Maar ik heb altijd trek.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik ook</span>&rdquo;, said a smaller boy; &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">in een boterham.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Tongues were loosened on all sides. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee; in
+een lekker stuk worst</span>,&rdquo; I heard one say.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee; niet waar</span>&rdquo;; interrupted a brawny fellow
+with a brick-red face; &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Zuurkool en spek.</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A COSY TALK.</div>
+
+<p>I nipped the unprofitable discussion in the bud by
+demanding, as I moved away: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Maar wat <em>is</em> trek?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Dat weet je wel</span>,&rdquo; said the first fellow, the wit.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Als je te veel eet.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee, heelemaal niet</span>,&rdquo; jeered a late-comer.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Kan je begrijpen! Maar als je <strong>niets</strong> eet, <strong>dan</strong>
+heb je trek!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The crowd cheered at this. He had evidently
+the majority with him. High words followed; and
+the controversy became general, as the protagonists
+in this psychological debate found backers, and
+swarmed away towards the centre of town.</p>
+
+<p>I was left alone, and Clotho looked up.</p>
+
+<p>She dipped a periwinkle in one of the weird
+cups, and held it towards me.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Heeft Mijnheer trek?</span>&rdquo; Would I join in the
+repast!</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik? Duizendmaal verschooning!</span>&rdquo; I said, as I
+quickened my pace in rapid retreat.</p>
+
+<p>My confusion increased as I reflected that I had
+probably been urging my late interlocutors to &ldquo;define
+appetite&rdquo;&mdash;a thing even Aristotle could hardly do.
+Naturally the populace broke into parties&mdash;Aristotelians
+and Platonists (let us say), or into <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hoekschen
+en Kabeljauwschen</span>.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE CHAT.</div>
+
+<p>In any case my confidence was shaken in my
+improved, home-made Berlitz. It might be splendid
+for travelling; but in ordinary life it didn&rsquo;t seem
+to cover the ground.</p>
+
+<p>On arriving at my lodgings I was met at the
+door by the landlady&rsquo;s son. He was beaming.
+Lately he had been working up his English, and
+truly had made giant strides.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Koot eeffening, Sir,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;Koot eeffening!
+Ai hef an little chat.&rdquo; &ldquo;<strong>I wish to have a chat</strong>&rdquo;,
+he <em>seemed</em> to mean.</p>
+
+<p>It was an odd request for a trifling practice in
+English; but I like to encourage merit, so I assured
+him of my willingness to have a friendly talk.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh, yes. All right,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;But won&rsquo;t you come
+up stairs? We have a few minutes before supper.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;But&mdash;Ai hef <strong>here</strong> an naiz little chat!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Ah, just so. Did you perhaps have a talk with
+some one in English when I was away?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;No, sir; but ai <em>hef</em> een chat.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>This was bewildering; and as he seemed puzzled,
+too, and always stuck to the same noun I investigated
+more fully.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;You talk of a <em>chat!</em>&mdash;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">dat is een praatje,
+weet je wel?</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">EVIDENCES OF HUNGER.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee, mijnheer, heus: het is waar. Geen praatje.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>We were half-way up the stairs now. &ldquo;Come
+on&rdquo;, I said.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Vayt&rdquo;, he replied, diving into some recess. &ldquo;Ai
+vil let see you.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>In an instant he was back with something under
+his coat. This he produced with the delighted
+exclamation: &ldquo;ze little chat!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>It was a bedraggled kitten that he had discovered
+wandering about in the fog and mewing piteously.
+&ldquo;Vil you hef him? <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Anders, zegt moe, hij kan niet
+blijven.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;ll talk to your mother about the kitten,&rdquo; I answered.
+&ldquo;Kitten,&mdash;that&rsquo;s what we call it&mdash;not chat.
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Maar hoor eens, jongen, heeft het poesje trek?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">O mijnheer, verbazend!</span>&rdquo; was the ecstatic reply;
+and in another three minutes he had a saucer of
+milk under the foundling&rsquo;s nose, and was watching
+kitty&rsquo;s lapping operations with a joy as keen as
+that of kitty herself.</p>
+
+<p>I had got what I wanted without any philosophic
+argument. There was the proof.</p>
+
+<p><i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Trek</i> is <em>appetite</em>.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER IX.<br /><br />
+
+<small>THE THUNDERSTORM.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>I must tell you about that great walk we took
+from Leyden to Haarlem. That was just after
+Terence came back from Germany, wearied with
+waiting till his learned Dad would cease pottering
+about the museums in Bonn.</p>
+
+<p>He wrote to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span> in <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span>; and urged
+that youth use his influence with the University Librarian
+to let Dr. MacNamara see the Irish manuscripts
+he was so keen upon. Then, if you please, my
+brave Terence thought his duties were over, as
+far as helping his father was concerned. Taking
+the next train for the Hague he turned up unexpectedly
+at my lodgings.</p>
+
+<p>That was at six in the morning, and he banged at
+my bedroom door till I was awake.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE NORTH SEA COAST.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m back,&rdquo; he said: &ldquo;And I&rsquo;m going to carry
+you off on that famous bicycle tour of yours. Hurry
+up with all those papers and preparations and
+things,&mdash;and I&rsquo;ll be round with my bike in no time!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well!&rdquo; I shouted through the closed door,
+&ldquo;you may come as soon as ever you like; but
+there&rsquo;ll be no bicycle tour to-day. I&rsquo;m not nearly
+ready yet. I&rsquo;ve all the nouns from T to Z to learn
+yet; and it&rsquo;ll take me another week. Catch me
+leaving this neighbourhood without those nouns!
+No, my boy. But I&rsquo;ll take a tramp with you to
+the seaside, if you like.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>He didn&rsquo;t wait for my explanations but pranced
+off grumbling, and I didn&rsquo;t see him till noon. He
+was then quite willing to fall in with my project
+of a long walk&mdash;first by the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">strand</span> to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Noordwijk</span>,
+then inland through the dunes, and so on to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Haarlem</span>.</p>
+
+<p>We only got as far as <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Noordwijk</span> that evening.
+After a heavy miserable trudge by the shore, and
+mostly through loose sand, we were glad enough
+to put up at <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Huis-ter-Duin</span> for the night. The sunset,
+magnificent though it was, could hardly banish
+the deep sleepiness that seized us. Terence, who was
+in better training than I, sat up smoking a while,
+but I heard him go off to his room before I fell<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>
+over. All the music, laughter, and talk about the place,
+never in the slightest degree disturbed our slumber.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN EXQUISITE DAWN.</div>
+
+<p>I slept like a log, and awoke early, with the
+sound of the sea in my ears. It was a softly
+modulated, gentle murmur that seemed to call me;
+and when I looked out, the view was superb. Deep
+blue, almost indigo in hue, and calm as oil, the
+waves stood high on the sands. Every now and
+then a long, knife-like billow would slowly rise up
+for half-a-mile or so, poise itself for an instant,
+and then fall with a mighty flap, like a wall of
+slate. Away out towards the horizon the ocean
+gleamed a fairy-like blue and opal; but close at
+hand it had a deep, menacing tint that took your
+breath away. And all the time those slatey ledges
+of water kept languidly lifting themselves and
+suddenly dropping, as if they were alive.</p>
+
+<p>When I opened the window, a cool wind softly
+stole in&mdash;like some subtle elixir. I looked at my
+watch. It was half past four. Fired with the idea of
+having a tramp by that mysterious light, I went
+off and roused Terence&mdash;happily without terrifying
+the other inmates of the hotel. He was willing
+to make an early start if I could secure him
+enough breakfast.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A MORNING WALK.</div>
+
+<p>This required some diplomacy. Suddenly encountering
+a <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">knecht</i> prowling about and collecting boots,
+I tried to communicate our plans to him, and
+gain his sympathy. No idiom, however, that I
+was acquainted with was equal to this strain:
+so I had recourse to the language of gesture and
+the display of coin. This at last induced him to
+bring us part of his own modest breakfast&mdash;a
+chunk of black bread and a hard-boiled egg&mdash;and
+to let us out by the front door.</p>
+
+<p>He kept our bags, however, and a <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bankbiljet</span>,
+to settle the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">rekening</span> provisionally, and as an evidence
+of good faith. It was a fussy business getting him
+to agree even to this, and in consequence I quite
+forgot about my dictionary and &ldquo;walking-tour
+notes&rdquo;&mdash;which were strapped up in the bag.</p>
+
+<p>Indeed, I didn&rsquo;t notice the neglect till we were far
+away from the hotel. But there was no Dutch needed
+for a long time.</p>
+
+<p>It was an exhilarating experience to go careering
+along by that weird, threatening sea in the fresh
+morning air. The scent of herbs and wild-flowers
+on the dunes greeted us when we took a turn
+inland: and the colours of everything around us
+kept changing with incredible swiftness.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">BY THE SUMMER SEA.</div>
+
+<p>At first we couldn&rsquo;t keep our eyes off the
+mirror-like expanse of water. Its slate became steel-blue&mdash;the
+steel-blue deepened into purple shading
+off into amethyst, while the sky and the air all
+about us grew rosy, then saffron, then silver.</p>
+
+<p>Over and across the rolling hills we trudged,
+our spirits rising every instant. Why shouldn&rsquo;t we
+keep on till we got opposite <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Haarlem</span>, then strike off
+east, do that city, and return by rail? Why not
+indeed? <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Huis-ter-Duin</span> and its slippered <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">knecht</span> could
+settle the matter of the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">rekening</span> and the change,
+by post; and we should make a day of it!</p>
+
+<p>So we climbed up and down along the edge
+of the grassy slopes, till the tide retired from the
+sands a little. There we had a delightful hour,
+along the firm damp shore. It grew sultry after a while;
+yet it was only a quarter to eight. There would
+be more heat yet! Alternately we tried the dunes
+and the beach&mdash;the beach and the dunes&mdash;but
+there was no shelter from the sun; and the
+pleasant wind had died down. After an other couple
+of hours&rsquo; toil through the hot, loose sand we decided
+we had enough of the coast for the day, and
+followed a kind of winding path inland. This was
+a regular cart-track at first, and promised to lead us<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>
+to some thriving village where we could have a
+rest. But it didn&rsquo;t. It twined round a score of
+scattered potatoe plots, and then came to an abrupt
+and ignominious end against a wire fence, on the
+top of a hill. No doubt we ought to have gone
+back and kept along the shore. But we were too
+hungry to think of returning to the desolation we
+had left. What we wanted was to see houses as soon
+as possible&mdash;houses containing eatables and cool
+rooms and chairs. Besides, we were as yet pretty
+confident of our geographical whereabouts; accordingly
+we pushed on for <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Haarlem</span>&mdash;as we thought.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">LOST IN THE DUNES.</div>
+
+<p>Well, it was a great mistake! The map makes
+the dunes only a few miles broad at most, yet
+we climbed up and down for hours, and couldn&rsquo;t
+get clear of them.</p>
+
+<p>Once we saw a fisherman at a distance and
+we yelled to him. He answered &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">terug</span>&rdquo; very faintly,
+and waved both arms. We hurried to meet him, but
+not a trace of him was to be found. Though the heat
+was intense, after a while shimmery haze began
+to spread over the sky, and there came a sudden
+change. It got dark and cold; and the storm that
+had been threatening all day burst on us with fury.
+In two or three minutes we were drenched. There<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>
+was a marvellous display of sheet lightning so
+curious and varied that for a while it diverted our
+attention from our miserable plight, as we stumbled
+on over soaked hillocks and sand. We had a good
+hour of this.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">NO FOOD FOR SALE.</div>
+
+<p>In a dismal grove of non-descript-shrubs, we
+at last stumbled upon a trifling shelter, just as the rain
+was ceasing; and there we shivered like aspens,
+till the truth dawned upon us that there was a
+faint sound of human voices over the slope. &ldquo;Hurrah!&rdquo;
+we shouted. &ldquo;Relief at last&mdash;and a chance
+of something to eat!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Stiff and dripping though we were, we positively
+bounded over the sand hill.</p>
+
+<p>Two or three small one-storied cottages came
+soon into view. Rushing into the first&mdash;it looked
+like a shop, and had the words <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">garen en band</i>
+over the window&mdash;we demanded pointedly if
+we could get food. The youngish woman who ambled
+slowly to and fro behind the counter, said she had
+no coffee or bread for us, but we could get these
+things in Haarlem. There was a good restaurant
+there.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Geen ei?</span>&rdquo; I asked.</p>
+
+<p>No; not even an egg for sale.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN ORDINARY BAKER.</div>
+
+<p>Very disappointed we retired, still dripping,
+and gloomier than ever; but as we left the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">winkel</span>
+I espied a group of schoolchildren, with capes round
+their heads, dancing along merrily hand in hand.
+They were evidently coming from school. Such
+bright blue eyes, such plump and rosy cheeks
+suggested that food was plentiful wherever they
+lived. There must be a butcher and a baker near,
+I concluded; and by a happy inspiration I turned
+back to the depressing <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">garen en band</i> shop, and
+enquired where the local baker was to be found.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Is er een baker hier?</span>&rdquo; I enquired politely of
+the lethargic <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">juffrouw</span>.</p>
+
+<p>She woke up immediately. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, zeker!</span>&rdquo; was
+the prompt reply. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Net gisteren thuis gekomen!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>This was all right, of course. Why does he come
+home and go away, I wondered. But, after all, that
+was a small matter. He was at home now. A
+peripatetic baker, perhaps, might be some very
+special and clever artist in pies and tarts and rich
+cake&mdash;and it was the humble, ordinary baker that
+we were in search of. I stated this. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Geen banket
+baker is noodig, juffrouw!</span>&rdquo; I explained. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Een gewonen
+baker bedoel ik&mdash;een gewonen alledaagschen
+baker. Bestaat er een hier?</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE BROKEN SIESTA.</div>
+
+<p>She had meantime summoned two young men
+from a sort of den behind the shop, and now
+communicated my wishes to them with an interest
+and an animation that I hadn&rsquo;t expected. They led
+us rapidly half a mile across fields, and then up
+a little lane. The last few yards were done in
+good record time, I should say.</p>
+
+<p>This sympathetic promptitude we highly appreciated,
+as we felt now more and more famished,
+the nearer we approached provisions. We reached
+the baker&rsquo;s house breathless, and were ushered
+panting into a kind of waiting room. At least you
+couldn&rsquo;t call it a shop exactly.</p>
+
+<p>When the baker came into this apartment (by
+the way it was a woman, that turned up&mdash;a portly
+and middle-aged woman) we noticed that she was
+rather dishevelled, as if just awakened from a much
+needed siesta. I was sorry, but not surprised. Bakers
+are often that way, you know. They bake during
+the night, and sleep during the day. Thus they are
+rather drowsy and cross, if you wake them up.
+She looked both. There was a portentous frown
+upon her brow; and really, she seemed somewhat
+of the virago type. That made me doubly polite.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Duizendmaal vergiffenis, banketbaker!</span>&rdquo; I apologised<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>
+with my best bow. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het spijt mij geweldig.&mdash;Maar
+zult gij zoo goed willen zijn&mdash;?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">WOU JE ETEN?</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja ja!</span>&rdquo; she interrupted impatiently; &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Waar?
+Heb je een rijtuig?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Een rijtuig?</span>&rdquo; I exclaimed in bewilderment.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee. Ik heb geen rijtuig. Maar mag ik u beleefd
+verzoeken of U zoo goed&mdash;.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, ja! Is er haast bij?</span>&rdquo; She broke in again.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wel zeker!</span>&rdquo; I replied courteously, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Veel haast.
+Wij zijn verbazend hongerig.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>But she was gone, and hadn&rsquo;t heard the last
+remark. In a moment or two she reappeared, fully
+dressed, tying the strings of her bonnet.</p>
+
+<p>As I waited a second before repeating my request,
+she grew most unreasonably irritable, and actually
+stamped her foot, exclaiming disrespectfully:
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gaauw nouw! gaauw een beetje.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja baker!</span>&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wilt gij zoo goed zijn,
+twee boterhammetjes en twee glaasjes melk te
+brengen?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>She stopped titivating herself at the mirror,
+and turning round groaned in a voice of horror:
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wou je eten?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Ja,&rdquo; I contrived to put in, as politely as I
+could; &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">als U zoo goed wilt zijn.</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">BETAALD ZETTEN.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Maar schaam jullie niet? bent jullie kinderen
+dat je nouw om een boterham moet vragen?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>It was plain she was a good deal ruffled. Accordingly
+to appease and conciliate her I smiled again,
+and said deferentially: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het heeft niets te beduiden.
+Wij moeten een heel klein boterhammetje gebruiken.
+Een sneedje brood zonder iets&mdash;dat is
+ook goed.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>She seemed stunned by this harmless announcement;
+and I deemed it prudent to offer her a
+bribe of some kind. The simplest plan was to promise
+to pay her well for any trifle we took.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het is een kleinigheid</span>,&rdquo; I told her&mdash;&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">niets
+dan een kleinigheid. Maar ik zal het je betaald
+zetten.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>That loosened her tongue. Her natural fluency
+asserted itself and appeared to fine advantage. But
+she was so needlessly excited that I knew there
+must be a misunderstanding somewhere. Accordingly
+to remove all haziness I just indicated that
+she had failed to grasp my meaning. The idiom
+for this I fortunately recollected. <cite>You don&rsquo;t quite
+follow</cite> was one of those choice specimens of local
+colour that, by frequent repetition, I had thoroughly
+imprinted on my memory.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">YOU DON&rsquo;T QUITE FOLLOW.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Duizendmaal verschooning</span>,&rdquo; I said heartily,
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bent U soms niet goed snik?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The effect of this well meant apology was electrical.
+The woman really became very rude. She
+got pale and grabbed at a chair. As we withdrew
+unostentatiously, we noticed her springing
+in our direction and talking. It was the most
+fluent talk I had yet heard in Dutch. She did not
+hesitate one instant for gender, number, or case. It
+rained, hailed and stormed terrible words&mdash;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">werkwoorden</span>,
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">voorzetsels</span>, and especially <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">tusschenwerpsels</span>.</p>
+
+<p>Terence and I ran.</p>
+
+<p>On reaching safety outside Terence asked me:
+&ldquo;What was she angry about?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; I answered, &ldquo;as likely as not it&rsquo;s something
+out of the grammar. I believe I didn&rsquo;t use the
+right idiom. You have to be very particular about
+these things, you see.</p>
+
+<p>I said <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">vragen <em>voor</em> een boterham</span>, I think; and
+it should be <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">vragen <em>om</em></span>. Still she made far too big
+a fuss over it: and I&rsquo;d tell her so, if I could.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>When we got outside of her garden plot and
+had latched the gate behind us, I turned to wave
+our grammarian a graceful adieu.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">REPARTEE UNDER DIFFICULTIES.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Baker!</span>&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Banket baker! Wees niet zoo<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>
+kleinzeerig. Niet zoo kwaalijknemend hoor! Wij
+zijn niet tegen je opgewassen. Maar</span>&rdquo;,&mdash;and here
+I sank my voice to a confidential whisper, to
+make the irrelevancy sound as like wit as possible,&mdash;&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">maar,
+U weet nooit hoe een koe een
+haas vangt!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>I still flatter myself that the exit was worthy
+of the occasion.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER X.<br /><br />
+
+<small>THE DEVOTED NURSE.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wel</span>,&rdquo; continued Jack; &ldquo;it was these experiences
+that made me begin to doubt the value
+of my Berlitz soliloquy-method. But Terence
+helped me to give the system a really good
+trial; and he worked as hard as I did.</p>
+
+<p>It was quite different with Kathleen. When
+she came back from Germany, she was keen on
+art, but apparently had been moping about something.
+And she refused to study any more Dutch.</p>
+
+<p>That was before the accident, you see. After
+that, she was quite angelic and nursed her
+father assiduously, and the landlady&rsquo;s little son, too.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN ACCIDENT.</div>
+
+<p>You know, of course, that uncle got a severe
+shock from a motor-bike along the canal. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span>
+who had been prowling around, to give his &ldquo;chat&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span>
+an airing, ran across just in time to push the
+absent-minded old gentleman out of the way. But
+the lad was thrown on the ground and badly
+hurt. Uncle pulled round soon enough&mdash;his indignation
+at the motor cyclist helped him, as he had
+some vague idea, if he were up and about, he
+could get the culprit arrested. But <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span> grew steadily
+worse for the first week. The violent fall and the
+bruise were both very bad for the plucky youngster.</p>
+
+<p>Kathleen kept going back and forward, looking
+after the sufferers. She said she never could repay
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span> enough for saving her father&rsquo;s life. It appears
+to have been a &lsquo;close shave&rsquo;, at the edge of that
+deep canal; and Uncle nearly had them all in.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE SUITOR&rsquo;S MISTAKE.</div>
+
+<p>As a matter of fact, he had spent the morning
+with me, telling me about his grand &lsquo;find&rsquo; of
+original Celtic manuscripts in Germany, and about
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen&rsquo;s</span> kindness. I never saw him so taken
+with anybody! In Bonn he had got wind of these
+precious Celtic relics; and, as everything was closed
+at the University at that time of the year, he
+worried and fumed, till he met some of the
+authorities that knew <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span>. Immediately
+he had banged off a telegram to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span>, requesting
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen&rsquo;s</span> private influence; and, to his delight,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span>
+that young man came joyfully in person. Of course
+he would! It was too good a chance to be missed.
+Indeed it was just the opportunity he wanted. And
+yet he and Kathleen quarrelled fiercely over trifles
+all the time.</p>
+
+<p>But I was telling you about my uncle&rsquo;s escape.
+It seems he was ambling along in his usual
+oblivious style, on the sunny side of the street,
+when he stopped (no doubt painfully near the edge
+of the canal) to note down something that occurred
+to him for his book. Just then a motor-cycle
+turned the corner at a fiendish speed, and was
+nearly over him. Uncle is the most helpless of
+mortals at such times&mdash;and he was stepping hurriedly
+into the canal, when <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span> bounded across
+the road and pulled him right.</p>
+
+<p>The bike-tourist must have been a heartless
+fellow; for he never swerved, but bore down at
+full tilt on both rescuer and rescued, while they
+were still on the edge of the water.</p>
+
+<p>The youthful <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span>, however, is both original
+and daring; for he turned the motor man aside
+as cleverly as if he had Boyton in his hand.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">NO DUTCH NEEDED.</div>
+
+<p>He either flung himself or his cap against the
+advancing horror. Terence says it was the kitten<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span>
+he threw. In any case the little fellow did, as a
+last resource, try to protect both his dear kitty
+and the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Engelschen Mijnheer</span>, at some risk to himself.
+The &ldquo;chat&rdquo; was unharmed, but fled up an adjacent
+elm, whence it had to be coaxed down at dusk
+with endless saucerfuls of milk.</p>
+
+<p>This task Kathleen took on herself, after we
+discovered that Dr. MacNamara, though shaken,
+was not injured. Nothing would have pleased
+you better than to have seen her beaming face
+as she brought the trembling little kitty to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span>&rsquo;s
+bedside. She didn&rsquo;t know a word of Dutch; but
+managed to communicate quite easily, by signs,
+with <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan&rsquo;s</span> mother, whom she promised to come
+often and see.</p>
+
+<p>We all assumed, at first, that the little fellow
+had escaped scot-free; but, in a day or two, he
+was in high fever, and unconscious. He had got
+a contusion, the doctor said, and would be confined
+to his cot for weeks.</p>
+
+<p>It was marvellous to see how Kathleen comforted
+the poor mother, without either grammar,
+Polite Dialogue, or the use of <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het</span>.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote"><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">JAN&rsquo;S</span> INCOHERENCES.</div>
+
+<p>I grew quite jealous and envious. Here was I
+who had been slaving at syntax and accidence<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span>
+for weeks, and I couldn&rsquo;t carry on an intelligent
+conversation for two minutes without deviating
+into metaphysics, or getting into a quarrel; while
+my cousin (who said she hated Dutch) could get
+through the niceties of sick-room nursing, and the
+subtleties of heartening up the poor hysterical
+mother, with the utmost ease and success.</p>
+
+<p>And I knew for certain that she couldn&rsquo;t go
+through the Present Optative of &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik graauw, ik
+kef en ik kweel</span>&rsquo;, or give one of the rules for <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">gij
+(lieden)</span>&mdash;no, not to save her life. But she was
+never at a loss, for all that. A more devoted
+nurse, indeed, I cannot imagine.</p>
+
+<p>At the crisis, when the little sufferer was really
+in danger, she used to watch by him hours at
+a stretch, to relieve the helpless mother.</p>
+
+<p>The serious turn came all at once; and no aid
+was at hand. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span> was in pain, and wandered in
+his talk, crying out that the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">motor-fiets</span> was hunting
+him into the canal, for having rescued a <span class="g"  xml:lang="nl">vreemdeling</span>;
+and pouring forth such a torrent of elementary
+English and Boyton-Dutch as surprised us all.</p>
+
+<p>I fancy it was, in part, my early translations
+he had treasured up; for some of my mistakes
+about handcuffs and dogcollars figured amid the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span>
+incoherences; and it was pitiable to hear him plead
+for a <span class="g"  xml:lang="nl">zie beneden</span> to wrap round his injured arm&mdash;already
+bandaged as tightly as he could bear it.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">EEN STUK OF EEN.</div>
+
+<p>Then he kept ringing the changes on an expression
+I must have used in argument with his mother
+the day I persuaded her to keep his bedraggled
+foundling.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het is geen menigte poesjes, zegt Mijnheer;
+het is maar een stuk of een. Heus, moe, laat hem
+blijven. Niet bang, hoor, schattie, je bent maar
+een stuk of een! Pas op, Mijnheer, daar komt de
+fiets!</span>&rdquo; And so on <span class="g" lang="it" xml:lang="it">da capo</span>.</p>
+
+<p>So wild and restless was he, the second evening
+of the fever, that we had to summon the doctor
+unexpectedly, quite late.</p>
+
+<p>Yes; his condition was disquieting, and we must
+get him to sleep. It was largely a matter of nursing,
+at the moment; new medicine was sent for; his
+head was to be kept cool; and only one watcher
+was to remain in the room. Above all, no noise.
+If the English <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">juffrouw</span>, who seemed to understand
+the lad&rsquo;s state, would consent to sit up to
+two or three o&rsquo;clock, so much the better. The
+excited mother could have a rest meantime. Otherwise
+she would be fit for nothing next day.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">KITTY GIVES <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">KOPJES</span>.</div>
+
+<p>But no sooner had the good doctor softly closed
+the front door, than my landlady declared it was
+her intention to watch all night.</p>
+
+<p>Kathleen was at her wits&rsquo; end. In vain did
+she make signs and talk emphatic English in her
+high voice, or try coaxing with a bit of the brogue.
+All her feminine free-masonry failed to communicate
+the faintest idea to the mother.</p>
+
+<p>Uncle MacNamara, who had been waiting to
+take his daughter back to the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Doelen</span>, tried moral
+suasion in his own particular brand of German,
+and even in other tongues.&mdash;Terence says his
+father recited a well-known passage from the Iliad
+in his eagerness to be persuasive!&mdash;But all without
+avail. She wouldn&rsquo;t heed anybody; and she wouldn&rsquo;t
+go; she sat close to the cot, rocking violently to
+and fro, and moaning &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijn eigen kind! mijn
+eigen kind!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The little fevered face was puckered with a
+new perplexity at the sound of all this grief and
+the familiar voice.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Moeder</span>,&rdquo; he cried, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">moederr! Daar komt ie
+weer! Hij wou me in &rsquo;t water gooien. Moeder,
+vasthoue, hoor!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>It was most painful; for my landlady&rsquo;s impending<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span>
+hysterics were making the lad worse every
+moment.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A QUIET SLEEP.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Is poesje ook weggeloopen?</span>&rdquo; he said presently.
+A happy thought struck Kathleen. She stole downstairs,
+and presently returned with the &lsquo;chat&rsquo;, which
+was purring vigorously and giving &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">kopjes</span>&rsquo;.</p>
+
+<p>As she placed the soft furry creature in <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan&rsquo;s</span>
+hands, he stopped moaning and stroked it joyfully.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Dag, Kitty!</span>&rdquo; he said with delight. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ben je terug?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Apparently he thought it was I who had restored
+the wanderer, for he explained: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Geen praatje,
+mijnheer:</span> Zat is mine naiz litle chat.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Then, exhausted and satisfied, he dropped into
+a sound sleep.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER XI.<br /><br />
+
+<small>GOSSIP AND DIPLOMACY.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>The strain was over; and the little lad slumbered
+peacefully,&mdash;until dawn, as it proved. We got
+the mother gradually quieted, and at last induced
+to go off to bed, leaving Kathleen in charge for
+the night. About half-past-one, Terence and I,
+growing hungry, extemporised a sort of pic-nic in
+the kitchen; but Kathleen wouldn&rsquo;t touch anything
+we brought her.</p>
+
+<p>It was then I began to notice how grave she
+was, and silent.</p>
+
+<p>But I must say, nobody could be more devoted
+than she was to the youthful invalid.</p>
+
+<p>He awoke rather early after his timely sleep,
+but much calmer. And&mdash;a good sign&mdash;he
+had a healthy &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">trek</span>&rsquo;, which we were gratified to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>
+see in operation upon &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">beschuit</span>&rsquo; and &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">melk</span>&rsquo;, before
+his mother arrived to resume the reins of authority.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE DISCOURAGED SUITOR.</div>
+
+<p>As we escorted Kathleen to her hotel in the
+cool of the morning, we found her singularly
+irresponsive, not to say depressed; and I somehow
+got wind of the fact that <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span>, who
+had motored up to the Hague, on hearing of her
+father&rsquo;s accident, had been prowling about the
+<span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Vieux</span> <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Doelen</span> ever since. He had visited Dr. MacNamara
+almost every day; but Kathleen had kept
+studiously aloof.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I know he likes father,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;and I&rsquo;m
+glad he came so often to see him. Not very
+interesting, otherwise! In any case he has suddenly
+vanished into space!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The evening before, when she was on her way
+to my landlady&rsquo;s to watch by the sick boy, <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van
+Leeuwen</span> had met her right in front of the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mauritshuis</span>.
+But she had treated him with such
+stately indifference, and greeted his remarks with
+such frigid courtesy, that the good-natured fellow
+was really hurt. He had in fact returned the
+same evening to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span>.</p>
+
+<p>Kathleen said she was very glad, except for
+her father&rsquo;s sake. But she didn&rsquo;t give one the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span>
+impression of being enthusiastic about it, and I
+drew my own conclusions.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">WILL KATHLEEN STUDY DUTCH?</div>
+
+<p>On reaching the Doelen, we found a hasty
+scrawl from the very man we had been talking
+of&mdash;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span>&mdash;inviting Terence and myself
+to a cycling tour in his neighbourhood.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well, then, I&rsquo;ll go next Friday,&rdquo; Terence
+broke out; &ldquo;at least, if you&rsquo;re ready then, Jack.
+We&rsquo;ll have a grand time. Dad is all right now;
+and that funny little kid is on the mend. So we
+can go with a clear conscience. Say, yes.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Ah, that&rsquo;s like you boys&rdquo;, said Kathleen banteringly,
+but without the ghost of a smile, &ldquo;to
+go cycling about, enjoying yourselves, no matter
+what happens to others! I&rsquo;m still anxious about
+that child. And I do wish I understood him
+better when he talks.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;As for that&rdquo;, I interrupted, &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll give you
+the key to it, in an instant. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan&rsquo;s</span> reminiscences
+are all about my Dutch. Well, I&rsquo;ll lend you my
+diary, and the most entertaining Grammar in
+Holland. Besides, I&rsquo;ve written a monograph on
+obvious blunders, English into Dutch. Read these,
+now, when you&rsquo;re tending this convalescent boy-hero
+of yours. He&rsquo;ll understand them, I&rsquo;ll be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span>
+bound; and it&rsquo;ll shake him up, and do you a
+world of good yourself.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN INTERESTING COACH.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;What a silly cousin, to be sure!&rdquo; she replied.
+&ldquo;You forget, sir, I need some one to explain
+all your double-Dutch. Get me a &lsquo;coach&rsquo; now, a
+competent one, who knows everything, and I&rsquo;ll
+give your booklet a trial.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Done!&rdquo; I said, as we parted.</p>
+
+<p>And I held her to it. My diary kept her amused
+for a couple of days, as she watched in the sick-room.
+It roused her out of her depression, and she got
+into the way of reading things to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span> as he recovered.</p>
+
+<p>She couldn&rsquo;t remain quite smileless; but grew
+interested enough in Dutch to demand my monograph
+and&mdash;above all&mdash;the Grammar!</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;You shall have them both,&rdquo; I assured her,&mdash;&ldquo;the
+booklet on the spot; and the Grammar,
+when I get as far as <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span> and don&rsquo;t need to
+use it for a while.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Couldn&rsquo;t I have it sooner? I&rsquo;m dying with
+curiosity to see that awful book. Or, when you
+are there, and any of your friends are coming
+to the Hague, just send it with them.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Yes. There&rsquo;s a &lsquo;coach&rsquo; coming up in a day
+or two. I&rsquo;ll send it along.&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE DIPLOMATIC EPISTLE.</div>
+
+<p>I fancied her eyes gave a bit of a flicker. But
+she was meek and friendly: so I knew it was all
+right. She hadn&rsquo;t asked what kind of coach. But
+she&rsquo;s intelligent.</p>
+
+<p>That very instant I went home and wrote <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van
+Leeuwen</span> that we&mdash;Terence and I&mdash;were
+starting next day, by train, for <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span>, whence
+we should have a run through <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gelderland</span>.</p>
+
+<p>There was no note-paper in the house, but I
+couldn&rsquo;t wait. So I a penned what I had to say
+on a series of visiting cards,&mdash;numbering them: 1,
+2, 3 up to 10, and enclosing them in a portly
+yellow envelope. It was the only thing I had. I
+was pleased to notice its impressive aspect, as
+that would prevent its getting lost readily.</p>
+
+<p>For I attached much importance to that communication.</p>
+
+<p>In it I prepared <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen&rsquo;s</span> mind, indirectly
+and circuitously, for apprehending the idea that
+Miss MacNamara was now deeply interested in
+Dutch; and was studying it to help her in nursing
+that sick boy. Also that, as she had grown much
+too sombre of late with the responsibilities she
+had assumed, we were trying to brighten her
+up. When the lad was quite well, we should all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span>
+do the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Friesland</span> meres, before we returned to
+Kilkenny. But not for a while yet.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE BRINK OF A ROMANCE.</div>
+
+<p>And so on. I hinted as distantly as I could,
+that he had motored back to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span> a trifle
+too soon. We were <em>all</em> sorry he had left so suddenly.
+Even yet, if he would leave his camera at
+home&mdash;the one with the loud click&mdash;and if
+he wouldn&rsquo;t be too exclusively immersed in Celtic
+manuscripts, and avoided arguing about the Suffragettes,
+when he did meet with the MacNamara
+family, there was no reason to suppose that his
+offences were beyond pardon. All this in shadowy
+outline&mdash;for fear he would motor up like a
+Fury, and either break his neck on the way, or
+spoil everything by premature action.</p>
+
+<p>I made the haze quite thick, here and there,
+on the visiting cards&mdash;their form lent itself to
+obscurity&mdash;and I told him I should see him
+without fail within twenty-four hours.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I might have to ask a favour at his hands
+about a grammar.</p>
+
+<p>Terence was well: the Doctor was well, went
+to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Leyden</span> daily to the Library. We expected to
+reach <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Velperweg</span> toward midday. Don&rsquo;t be out.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>I posted the yellow missive with my own hands,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>
+and reckoned out by the &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bus-lichting</span>&rsquo; plate, that
+it would be collected that night.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">WELL EARNED REPOSE.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Tour or no tour, to-morrow,&rdquo; I said to myself,
+heaving a sigh of relief, after my race to the
+pillar-box; &ldquo;We&rsquo;re on the brink of a romance, if
+the protagonists only knew it. A little bad Dutch
+now seems all that is required. And we can rely
+on Boyton.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Queer, when you think of it, that you sometimes
+hold people&rsquo;s destinies in the hollow of your hand!</p>
+
+<p>However, I didn&rsquo;t philosophise much, but got
+to sleep as soon as ever I could,&mdash;content as
+from a good day&rsquo;s work.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER XII.<br /><br />
+
+<small>A STUDY IN CHARACTER.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>Next morning we were up at dawn to be in
+time for the first express. We cycled to the station;
+but a row of market-boats, that had reached the
+one and only canal-bridge on our route, kept us
+waiting till they filed past; and we missed our train.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Choost kon!&rdquo; exclaimed a porter cheerfully,
+as he took our cycles. &ldquo;Day-train choost away&mdash;von&mdash;two&mdash;meenit&mdash;ako!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Never mind&rdquo;, I rejoined. &ldquo;There are plenty
+of day-trains left. It&rsquo;s early yet.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>As he looked doubtful, I added in the vernacular:
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wij zijn in goeje tijd voor den bommel;
+nie-waar? Zes vier en veertig.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Net, mijnheer</span>&rdquo;, he replied, grinning appreciation
+of my Dutch, as he led the way to the <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">loket</span>.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN UNWELCOME INTERRUPTION.</div>
+
+<p>There were no difficulties there. You merely
+had to say. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Twee enkele reis, Arnhem. Tweede
+klasse. Gewone biljetten</span>,&rdquo; and there you were.
+And these &lsquo;<span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">gewone biljetten</span>&rsquo; made the forwarding
+of the cycles simplicity itself.</p>
+
+<p>Duly provided with the forthcoming <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">fiets-papiertjes</span>
+we ensconced ourselves in a non-smoker,
+and&mdash;to while away the time&mdash;rehearsed
+our Traveller&rsquo;s Dialogue. That is the system
+I had made out long since, but now partly forgotten.
+Terence had benefited by my tuition, and
+could now keep the ball rolling, with more or
+less relevant remarks, whilst I enumerated the
+parts of a train, and talked about tickets and towns.</p>
+
+<p>So smoothly did our conversation run that we
+were tempted to repeat it with variations; and
+we were just in the middle of as fine an elocutionary
+practice as ever you heard, when there
+was a scramble on the platform; and in there
+bounded into our compartment&mdash;just as the
+train began to move off&mdash;three tourists, hot
+and breathless!</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE LINGUIST AND THE SATELLITE.</div>
+
+<p>They were Englishmen,&mdash;London shopkeepers
+in a small way, I guessed, from their talk. Two
+of them, father and son, seemed a bit hectoring<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>
+and dictatorial; the third was an admiring satellite.
+For very shame&rsquo;s sake Terence and I didn&rsquo;t
+like to drop our Dialogue as if we were culprits;
+so we lowered our voices, and went through it
+to the bitter end.</p>
+
+<p>Our new companions listened for a moment,
+and the truculent father said, &ldquo;Neouw, there
+y&rsquo;are, Tom! wot&rsquo;s hall that tork abeout? You
+kneouw the lingo.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Master Tom&mdash;he was about nineteen&mdash;posed,
+apparently, as a linguist. He knew the language
+all right, he said. &ldquo;It was kind of debased German.
+He had picked it up from a boy at school.
+It was the sime to &rsquo;im as Hinglish.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Wottaw thiy siyin, Tom?&rdquo; said the father.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; muttered Tom, &ldquo;abeout the kaind &rsquo;v
+dai it is, an&rsquo;, hall thet rot. But no use listenin&rsquo;
+to them. They tork such a bad patois, an&rsquo; hungrimmentikil.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The satellite looked impressed. &ldquo;D&rsquo;ye tork
+&rsquo;t &rsquo;s wull &rsquo;s French an&rsquo; Juh&rsquo;man?&rdquo; he asked.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Hall the sime to me&rdquo;, said Tom. &ldquo;The sime
+&rsquo;z Hinglish.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The satellite&rsquo;s awe deepened. Presently, however,
+he spied the cattle in the fields as we sped along.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span>
+He pointed them out to Tom. &ldquo;Fine ceouws, miy
+wu&rsquo;d!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE BACKSLIDER</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Humph! better in Bu&rsquo;kshire!&rdquo; replied the
+linguist.</p>
+
+<p>In a minute or two he broke out again: &ldquo;Lot
+&rsquo;v ceouws in a field here, Tom!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Faugh!&rdquo; said Tom; &ldquo;faw mo&rsquo; &rsquo;n Essex!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>But the man of humility had an eye for landscape,
+and couldn&rsquo;t be repressed.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Ho, crikkie&rdquo;, he exclaimed, &ldquo;look at that
+meadow an&rsquo; canal. Ain&rsquo;t it stunnin&rsquo;?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>But the father came to his son&rsquo;s rescue in defence
+of Old England. &ldquo;Yeou jist go deouwn Nawf&rsquo;k
+wiy! Faw better th&rsquo;n this wretched &rsquo;ole!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The satellite evidently felt reproved for his
+lack of patriotism, for he subsided immediately.
+But he couldn&rsquo;t help himself. You might see by
+the way he looked out of the window that he
+was in ecstasies over the glowing panorama before
+him, in spite of Norfolk and Essex and the
+contempt of his fellow-travellers.</p>
+
+<p>Meantime Terence, fuming and in disgust, had
+buried himself in the columns of Tit-Bits. The
+truculent one recognised the familiar weekly, and
+drawing his son&rsquo;s attention to both reader and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span>
+paper he announced quite audibly; &ldquo;&rsquo;E can read
+Hinglish. &rsquo;E looks hintelligent.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?</div>
+
+<p>Advancing half way across the carriage, he
+cleared his throat, and addressed Terence at the
+top of his voice.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Do you&mdash;a hem!&mdash;a hem!&mdash;do you&mdash;<em>speak
+Hinglish?&rdquo;</em></p>
+
+<p>One could have heard the last two words in
+the next compartment.</p>
+
+<p>Terence looked up; and I saw by the twinkle
+in his eye what he was going to do.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Hein?</span>&rdquo; he interrogated with a nasal whoop
+like a subdued trumpet. He had learnt this at
+school from his French teacher and was a profiscient
+at rendering it accurately. It gave an unconventional
+flavour to his manner&mdash;which was
+just what he wished.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">Hein?</span>&rdquo; he trumpeted again, with an air of
+amiable curiosity.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I hawskt&mdash;do you&mdash;hem!&mdash;<em>speak</em>&mdash;<em>Hinglish?&rdquo;</em></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Ze Engels Langwitch? Yes: I shpeak him&mdash;von
+leetle bit. You alzóo?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Hi &rsquo;m &rsquo;n Englishman,&rdquo; said the truculent one
+proudly, a trifle taken aback.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">HE MEANS THE EAST END.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Zoo?</span>&rdquo; replied Terence. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ach zoo. Ja. Jawohl.
+Zoo gaat &rsquo;t.</span> Beauti-ful&mdash;lang-witch! Beauti&mdash;ful!&rdquo;
+he enunciated with painful distinctness and
+many twitches of his face.</p>
+
+<p>All this fell in with the tourists&rsquo; preconceived
+ideas of foreign utterance. They exchanged glances.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;You kin mike yors&rsquo;ff hunderstood, hall raight,&rdquo;
+interposed the linguist. &ldquo;Were you ever in London.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh, yes,&rdquo; answered my cousin slowly, counting
+off upon his fingers. &ldquo;Alzoo&mdash;von&mdash;two&mdash;tree&mdash;time&mdash;Mooch
+peoples&mdash;in Londe.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Did you like London?&rdquo; queried Truculence
+Senior.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Londe?&mdash;No! No&mdash;boddy like Londe.&mdash;Fery
+ugly! Mooch smoke&mdash;alzoo fogk.&mdash;Men
+see nozzing. Mooch poor peoples&mdash;No boots.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Not like London!! Why London&rsquo;s the gritest
+city in the wu&rsquo;ld.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I pity me mooch&mdash;for London peoples.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Let&rsquo;m aleoun, gov&rsquo;ner,&rdquo; said the linguist,
+furious. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s the Heast End &rsquo;e&rsquo;s got in &rsquo;is &rsquo;ed.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;But the Heouses &rsquo;v Pawl&rsquo;mint&mdash;and the
+Tride?&rdquo; reasoned the father, reluctant to abandon
+the controversy.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Houses Parliament?&mdash;nozzing!&rdquo; said Terence<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span>
+recklessly. &ldquo;Trade?&mdash;alzoo nozzing! American
+man hef all ze trade. Fery clever. Alzoo German
+man. Fery clever.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">WAKE UP, JOHN BULL.</div>
+
+<p>That was a clincher. Terence had amply avenged
+their contempt of the scenery they were passing
+through.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Let the bloomin&rsquo; ass aleoun&rdquo;, cried Truculence
+junior. &ldquo;&rsquo;E deoun&rsquo;t kneouw wot &rsquo;e&rsquo;s torkin&rsquo; abeout.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>But the shot had gone home. The papers had
+been full of &ldquo;Wake up, John Bull!&rdquo; of late, and
+he felt uncomfortable. Yet though we relapsed
+into silence, it wasn&rsquo;t for long. For soon the senior
+member of the trio got very exasperated with a
+local railway-guide that he had been consulting.
+&ldquo;Bit of a muddle that!&rdquo; he cried contemptuously,
+flinging the booklet on the seat. &ldquo;Cawn&rsquo;t mike
+&rsquo;ed or tile of it!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>He turned to my cousin: &ldquo;Can you tell me
+&rsquo;ow far it is to Gooday&mdash;or Goodee?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Terence replied briskly in appalling English:
+&ldquo;Goodee&mdash;I know-not. Zat iss nozzing. Good-day,
+zat is <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Goejen-dag</span>!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Look &rsquo;ere,&rdquo; said the tourist; &ldquo;&rsquo;Ere you aw!&rdquo;
+pointing to the name of the place on his Cook&rsquo;s
+ticket.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote"><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">GOUDA</span> HISTORICAL.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; said Terence, getting so foreign as to
+be scarcely intelligible. &ldquo;Zat-iss&mdash;Gouda. Beaut-ti-ful
+city!&rdquo; And he rolled his eyes in apparent
+awe at the magnificence of that unpretentious
+market-town. &ldquo;Ex-qui-seet!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Ow far is it?&rdquo; queried his interlocutor. &ldquo;Ow
+long, in the trine&mdash;to Gouda?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Alzoo</span>,&rdquo; returned my cousin, purposely misunderstanding
+him. &ldquo;Yes; ferry long. Long times.
+Ferry old ceety. Much years. Tree&mdash;four&mdash;century!
+Historique!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Yes, yes,&rdquo; said the impatient traveller. &ldquo;But&mdash;wen&mdash;d&rsquo;we&mdash;arrive?
+get there&mdash;you
+kneouw&mdash;?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;You vil arrivé,&rdquo; pronounced Terence in the
+same baby-English, &ldquo;haff&mdash;of&mdash;ze&mdash;klok.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Hawf &rsquo;n eour; that wot &rsquo;e&rsquo;s drivin&rsquo; et,&rdquo; grumbled
+the Linguist.</p>
+
+<p>They kept on asking questions and criticising
+us to our faces, when they talked together. Our
+dress, our appearance, our complexions were all
+adjudged to be woefully foreign; and they got
+so patronising that I had to put in an odd word,
+in real English, to Terence, now and again, just
+to prevent them going too far. Imperceptibly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>
+conversation became general; and as I forced
+Terence out of his assumed ignorance of English,
+the surprise of the tourists deepened into dismay, for
+they noticed we were talking more and more
+quickly, and idiomatically as well.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">FOREIGNERS DON&rsquo;T GET THE HANG OF IT.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Hi siy!&rdquo; whispered the satellite, &ldquo;they&rsquo;re learnin&rsquo;
+Hinglish from hus! I&rsquo;m blest hif thiy weount
+soon be nearly &rsquo;s good &rsquo;s we are!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Never you fear,&rdquo; said young Conceit. &ldquo;Furriners
+never git the &rsquo;ang of it.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Never,&rdquo; corroborated Truculence.</p>
+
+<p>But the open criticising of our appearance was
+at an end.</p>
+
+<p>Our companions looked anything but conciliatory
+when a crowd of rustics poured into the carriage
+at one of the stations. It was some sort of market
+at <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gouda</span>; and the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bommel</span> was crammed now.
+Finally the guard scurried along, and half hoisted,
+half pushed a peasant woman with her three
+children into the compartment.</p>
+
+<p>It was odd to see Truculence rise and help the
+little ones in; and odder still to see the children
+smile up into that formidable face, when they
+took their seats.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A CONFIDENT YOUNGSTER.</div>
+
+<p>I noticed the twinkle in his eye, however, as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span>
+he watched the bairnies trying to scramble to the
+window. He was evidently much interested in a
+bright little boy of seven with dreamy eyes, who
+was bent on amusing himself; and I could see
+that he wanted badly to shake hands with him
+and his tot of a sister, and ask them their names.
+He evidently regretted his inability to speak Dutch;
+but he made up for his silence by reaching the
+boy the window-strap, with a nod of comradeship.
+The little fellow took it eagerly and, after playing
+with it a moment or two, slid off his seat and
+actually climbed up beside Truculence (the scorner
+of everything non-British) and pushing Truculence
+to one side, looked out of Truculence&rsquo;s
+window.</p>
+
+<p>So surprisingly passive was my severe compatriot
+at all this that I hazarded a guess, and said: &ldquo;You
+have a boy of five at home?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>He stopped short clearing the pane for his tiny
+companion, and sat stock-still. It might have been
+a statue that was beside me so little did he move.
+Not a sound in answer to my question!</p>
+
+<p>Quickly I glanced at him.</p>
+
+<p>Oh, I could have bitten off my tongue when I
+saw that man&rsquo;s face! It was drawn and white,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span>
+and not at all like the scornful censor&rsquo;s of a few
+minutes before.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN ENGLISH UNCLE FOR <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">CLAAS</span>.</div>
+
+<p>He continued staring out of the window a moment;
+then he turned and said quietly: &ldquo;I &rsquo;ad&mdash;a
+little fair haired fellow&mdash;a year ago..... &rsquo;E
+was six.... An&rsquo; the born image of thet kiddie
+there.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Here he stroked the kiddie&rsquo;s head, which was
+now glued to the glass in an eager endeavour to
+see a passing train.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;&rsquo;E used to be that fond of machinery, too,&rdquo; he
+continued, opening a city bag and bringing out
+a diminutive flying-machine, a &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">twee-dekker</span>&rdquo; that
+he had evidently bought in the Hague. &ldquo;I got
+it, &rsquo;cos it minded me of the things my boy used
+to pliy with. But I&rsquo;ve nobody to give it to.</p>
+
+<p>May I as well give it to this kid. Tell &rsquo;is
+mother &rsquo;e&rsquo;s to keep it. Tell &rsquo;er that I&rsquo;m &rsquo;s <strong>hold
+uncle from Hingland</strong>.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>I did my best. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Claas</span> grasped the situation at
+once, as far as the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">twee-dekker</span> was concerned.
+The mother was slower. Consternation and politeness
+took away her speech for an instant, but
+she soon recovered and put <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Claas</span> through his drill.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Oh mijnheer, hij is zoo bij de hand!</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">DRAM-DRINKING AT EIGHT?</div>
+
+<p>Then she overwhelmed us all with family reminiscences,
+which none of us understood a word of,
+but which could not be stopped. It was a relief
+to get to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gouda</span>; and the tension of our feelings
+was pleasantly relaxed by observing the profound
+disgust that mantled the Londoner&rsquo;s brow, when
+after helping the children on to the platform, he
+was accosted by a vendor of local dainties, who
+loudly insisted on selling <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Goudsche Sprits</span> to the
+company. &ldquo;&rsquo;Ere&rsquo;s a Johnny wants the kiddies
+an&rsquo;all of us to liquor up&mdash;on neat spirits&mdash;before
+hight o&rsquo;clock in the mo&rsquo;nin&rsquo;! Shime, I call it.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">WUIF ES, OOM!</div>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Claas</span> had to say &rsquo;Good-bye&rsquo; to his new uncle,
+and we watched proceedings from our window.
+The Linguist ignored the <span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">adieu</span> completely; but
+the Satellite manfully backed up the father, and
+shook hands all round. A knot of porters gathered
+to seize the luggage of the big Englishman, who
+stood, masterful and bored, in the midst of the
+hubbub. His jaw and chin were those of Rhadamanthus;
+but his eyes were soft as they rested
+on the boyish figure descending the stairs with
+his baby-sister. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Claas</span> was waving a small hand to
+his new uncle who had given him the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Twee-dekker</span>;
+but his new uncle was not waving anything<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>
+to him. So Claas stopped short, and cried
+at the top of his voice: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wuif es oom! wui&mdash;uif
+es, nouw! Je moet wuife!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Wot&rsquo;s &rsquo;e up to, the young rescal?&rdquo; he asked me.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I believe he wants you to make a sign of
+goodbye. It&rsquo;s always done here,&rdquo; I replied.</p>
+
+<p>Well, he produced, from some place or other, a
+brilliant jubilee handkerchief&mdash;he was a dressy
+man and had plenty of coloured things&mdash;and
+shook it with both hands to his tiny friend. And
+the last I saw of him, as the train steamed on
+towards Utrecht, was, his waving of this silk
+banner to the little boy on the steps; the stern
+lips were relaxed into a smile; the defiant face
+was quite wistful as he repeated: &ldquo;The young
+rescal!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Here the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Goudsche sprits</span> seller, in his tour
+up and down the platform, approached the burly
+Londoner again, and seeing him now in an unexpectedly
+melting mood, at once proffered his
+delicacies with noisy persistence.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Goudsche sprits! Goudsche sprits!</span> Sir,&rdquo; he bawled
+in the Englishman&rsquo;s face, holding out a packet.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">HIS BARK IS WORSE THAN HIS BITE.</div>
+
+<p>Truculence was quite glad of the interruption.
+He blew his nose violently on his marvellous<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span>
+handkerchief, and turned upon the local merchant
+with a glare of indignation.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Get along! How dare you? D&rsquo;ye take me for
+a drunkard?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Formidable customer that!&rdquo; whispered Terence
+at my elbow. &ldquo;Still I think his bark is worse than
+his bite.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Not a doubt of it,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;And there
+are more of his kind.&rdquo;</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER XIII.<br /><br />
+
+<small lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">BELET!</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>We got on famously at <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Utrecht</span> and at the
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span> station. In less time than it takes to tell
+it we were mounted on our cycles with our bags
+in front of us, and ready for the road.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;This is fine!&rdquo; exclaimed Terence. And indeed
+it was. Charmed by the ease with which we had
+got along so safely, I felt a trifle elated over our
+linguistic victories, and had already begun to dream
+of fresh fields to conquer, when we drew near
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen&rsquo;s</span> villa on the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Velperweg</span>&mdash;a
+lovely spot.</p>
+
+<p>We dismounted to make sure we were right,
+and then walked briskly up the avenue.</p>
+
+<p>The door was opened by a timid-looking servant,
+who said: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Er is belet.</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">WELKE MIJNHEER?</div>
+
+<p>It was the first time I had met the expression;
+yet it sounded oddly familiar. Ah, of course. For
+the last ten days I had been studying <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">biljetten</i>
+out of the railway-guide. There was apparently a
+slight provincialism in her way of the rendering
+the liquid in the middle of the word, but this didn&rsquo;t
+matter. <strong>There was a ticket</strong>, then. Puzzling, very.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja?</span>&rdquo; I said tentatively.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Er is belet</span>,&rdquo; she repeated. The intonation was
+decisive; but as her manner was expectant, I took
+it for a question, had we tickets? Queer, certainly.
+Yes; I assured her we had,&mdash;&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">gewone biljetten,
+retour,&mdash;geldig voor éen dag.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>She shifted her ground and said, &ldquo;<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer
+heeft belet.</i>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Now you know how hard it is to be sure what
+person servants are talking about when they say
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer</span>. Did she mean me or her master? &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Welke
+Mijnheer?</span>&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ben ik mijnheer, of is Mijnheer
+mijnheer?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Raising her voice she announced deliberately,
+but with increasing irritation: &ldquo;<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer van Leeuwen&mdash;heeft&mdash;belet.</i>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Aha&rdquo;, I whispered to Terence, &ldquo;It&rsquo;s my big letter
+she&rsquo;s talking about. Well, I&rsquo;m glad it came in time&rdquo;.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">AANSLAGBILJET</span>.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Uitstekend!</span>&rdquo; I hastened to say. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Dat biljet is
+van mij. Dus mijnheer verwacht mij, niet waar?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>She nervously closed the door a bit. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik heb
+al gezaid&mdash;vanmorgen heeft mijnheer <em>expres
+belet gegeven</em>.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mag ik het hebben, dan</span>&rdquo;, I enquired politely;
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijn brief&mdash;dat geschreven biljet?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hé?</span>&rdquo; she said, visibly relieved, opening the
+door widely as she spoke. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Neem mij niet kwalijk,
+Mijnheer. Ik wist niet dat u van de belasting was.
+Komt u om het beschrijvingsbiljet?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>She retreated a step, timidly, into the hall, and
+glanced at an elderly butler, who in silence had
+been standing at a discreet distance listening to
+our colloquy. The butler moved forward, and in
+an apologetic tone murmured, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer, het beschrijvingsbiljet
+is nog niet klaar. Of komt u met
+een aanslagbiljet?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>As I had a newspaper in my hand full of talk
+about a &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">moordaanslag</span>&rsquo; I repudiated the latter idea
+indignantly. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Geen denken aan!</span>&rdquo; I said.</p>
+
+<p>The butler came out and stood on the steps,
+enquiring &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Is U soms een schatter.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Schatter?</span> (<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Schat</span>, a treasure; <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">schatter</span>, a <em>treasurer</em>.
+I reasoned.) &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wel nee: geen schatter ben ik,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span>
+alleen Eerlijk Secretaris van de Studenten-Club</span>&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A MYSTERIOUS OBSTACLE.</div>
+
+<p>In the hall a <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">loopmeisje</span> and a seamstress stood
+transfixed with curiosity. How could I get this
+mad interview terminated?</p>
+
+<p>The deferential butler began to grow suspicious.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Komt U niet van de belasting?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik weet het niet</span>,&rdquo; I replied.</p>
+
+<p>That was enough.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer geeft belet altijd &lsquo;s morgens</span>,&rdquo; he
+said, adding, evidently with reference to my <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">eerlijk
+secretaris.</span> &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wij zijn allemaal eerlijk hier!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>We appeared to be dismissed!</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Terence,&rdquo; I said quickly; &ldquo;Look if b-e-l-e-t
+is in the dictionary. They always hark back
+to that.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>In a minute he gave a mild shout: &ldquo;It&rsquo;s here;
+it means <em>hindrance</em>. Ah, I see. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Van Leeuwen</span> is
+hindered seeing us. Hadn&rsquo;t we better go?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">De belet is niet erg, hoop ik?</span>&rdquo; I said to the
+servant; &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">ik hoop dat Mijnheer spoedig beter zal
+worden, als het een ziekte is.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Now at last we had mastered the mysteries of
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">belet</span>? No such thing!</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">WIJ KRIJGEN BELET.</div>
+
+<p>Turning to go, I thought I might as well enquire
+when van Leeuwen could be seen. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wanneer<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span>
+kan ik soms Mijnheer zien?</span>&rdquo; Her reply confounded
+me: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Vandaag of morgen, maar U moet
+<strong>belet vragen</strong>.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Vragen!</span> surely not ask for an obstacle. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">U
+bedoelt <strong>weigeren</strong>, niet waar?</span>&rdquo; I suggested.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee: belet vragen, anders zal mijnheer u niet
+ontvangen.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh Terence!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;This is too awful!
+<strong>He</strong> has this obstacle; he has given it to us; now
+<strong>we</strong> must <strong>ask it again</strong>. And I don&rsquo;t even
+know what it is!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Take care, Jack. Don&rsquo;t ask anything else,
+or you&rsquo;ll get us into a worse mess.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;One moment,&rdquo; I said, appealing to the stolid
+butler. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Moet ik verzoeken om weggestuurd te
+worden? Of wat?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja Mijnheer, ik verzoek jullie maar weg te
+gaan. Alstublieft!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The solemn man looked like an archbishop.
+He cleared his throat and added courteously:
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Maar, als U Mijnheer van Leeuwen wil spreken,
+moet U belet <strong>laten vragen</strong>. Anders <strong>krijgt</strong>
+U belet als U komt.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Schei uit!</span>&rdquo; I cried in dismay. &ldquo;Terence, let
+us fly! for my brain won&rsquo;t stand it.&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">IS MIJNHEER GEENGAGEERD?</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;No, no!&rdquo; he interposed hastily. &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t be
+silly or hysterical, now. Look here. I&rsquo;ve been
+working the thing out in my head and think I
+can see some sense in it. Perhaps it&rsquo;s all very
+simple. Van Leeuwen may be only occupied for
+the moment, and so can see us if we wait. Just
+ask if they mean that he&rsquo;s merely engaged. He
+mayn&rsquo;t be sick at all. There&rsquo;s the word for
+<em>engaged</em>.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>And he reached me the dictionary with this
+thumb opposite: <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">geengageerd</i>, <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">verpanden</i>, <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">verloofd</i>.</p>
+
+<p>Yes, I thought. There was wisdom in his calm
+suggestion, though really I was sick making these
+curious enquiries. But it seemed plain sailing now.
+So with an ingratiating smile I just asked in a
+matter of fact sort of way: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer is soms
+geengageerd? Is het wel?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Verloofd?</span>&rdquo; I added taking the next word,
+as there was no manner of response forthcoming
+to the first question.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Verpanden?</span>&rdquo; whispered Terence with his eye
+on the dictionary.</p>
+
+<p>The company&mdash;there were some six of them
+now clustering round the butler for protection&mdash;retreated
+hastily into the recesses of the big hall,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span>
+and left that majestic man to shut the door. This
+he did without delay, saying, somewhat nervously,
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Maak dat jullie weg gaat!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">EEN SPOEDIGE RESTAURATIE.</div>
+
+<p>There was nothing left for us to do but to beat
+a dignified retreat.</p>
+
+<p>I made it as dignified as possible by, expressing
+our best wishes for van Leeuwen&rsquo;s speedy
+recovery.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Komplimenten aan Mijnheer, hoor; een spoedige
+restauratie!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>We cycled off.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER XIV.<br /><br />
+
+<small>THE DAY-TRAIN.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>We had a delightful spin along the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Velperweg</span>.</p>
+
+<p>Dismounting three or four times to admire
+choice &lsquo;bits&rsquo; of scenery, we were enticed on and
+on, and followed a side way that rose over a
+gentle slope. From the ridge of this acclivity we
+could watch the cloud shadows, violet and purple,
+sweeping over wide moors, and by their subtle
+contrasts bringing out the soft shimmering of the
+distant sunlight. On the horizon we made out the
+river and some hill-tops marked on our maps.
+Terence was confident he saw <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nijmegen</span>; but
+pushing on to get a still finer view, we came to
+grief in crossing a heather &ldquo;brae&rdquo;. At least I did.
+The front wheel was wrenched to one side; and
+we had to foot it all the way to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Velp</span>. There<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>
+having left both machines at a cycle-mender&rsquo;s,
+we started for a long tramp.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">LOST IN THE WOOD.</div>
+
+<p>That was a grand mistake, for we went too
+far. There were other ranges of wooded hills to
+be climbed, and the air was exhilarating. The
+time passed quickly, so it was late in the afternoon
+before we knew. Feeling more or less famished,
+we ventured on a short cut through the
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Onzalige Bosch</span>&rdquo;; but soon were hopelessly lost.
+It <strong>was</strong> a task to get on the main road.</p>
+
+<p>Indeed we took several wrong turnings apparently,
+for they seemed&mdash;it was hard to get
+our proper orientation&mdash;to bring us back to the
+same neighbourhood always. But at last we came
+to a line of wooded hills, and discovered a cart
+track that led us to a real high-way. This high-way
+was a magnificent affair with high over-arching
+trees; and on it, to our great relief, there
+were tram-rails!</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">STOPT DE TRAM OP EEN WENK?</div>
+
+<p>Help was near at hand. We put our best foot
+foremost, so to speak, and hurried forward looking
+in the dusk for a <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">halte</i>. Perhaps we may have
+passed some <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">halten</i>, but we didn&rsquo;t notice any;
+and as we were fagged out, I was glad to come
+upon a group of workmen who, I imagined, could<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span>
+tell me about the tram. The question I wanted
+to get solved was simple. Did the tram stop
+merely at the official <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">halten</i>, or would the driver
+pull up anywhere he got a passenger? If the bye-laws
+of this particular tramway allowed the tram
+to stop and pick up pedestrians anywhere all along
+the line, we were quite safe; we should just sit
+down on the roadside and rest. We shouldn&rsquo;t
+walk another step.</p>
+
+<p>The men were shovelling away at fallen leaves,
+so I accosted them in my friendliest Dutch and
+said: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Stop de tram overal?</span>&rdquo; As this was greeted
+with the customary &ldquo;<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">blief?&rdquo;</i> I tried to be more
+explicit. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Stop de tram op een wenk of een uitroepteeken?
+Of stopt hij alleen op de halten?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>This puzzled them all exceedingly; and one
+elderly man mopped his brow with his handkerchief
+and said, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik mot es eve prakiseere.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">PRAKISEERE.</div>
+
+<p>With that he stabbed his spade into the sod
+at his foot and leaned on the top of it with both
+arms, his eye fixed the while on me. I didn&rsquo;t
+care for the performance, as his stare was discomfitingly
+steady; but I allowed him for a while
+to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">prakiseere</span> undisturbed.</p>
+
+<p>Indeed I couldn&rsquo;t even guess what he was<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span>
+trying to do. It looked like an exercise in
+philosophic meditation or an attempt to hypnotise
+me on the spot, and as he seemed in no
+hurry to give me the information I desired, there
+was nothing for it but ask one of the other road
+menders.</p>
+
+<p>Selecting the most intelligent looking of them.
+I said &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Kijk es, baas; houdt de tram op, op
+een wuiving van een zakdoek? Of als men teekent
+met een paraplu?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>This second functionary shook his head sadly,
+and leaned on <em>his</em> spade in turn, gazing at me
+as if I had horns. There was a third man&mdash;close
+at hand&mdash;quite a young fellow, halfway across
+the road where he was standing as if petrified
+by my previous conversation. However he wasn&rsquo;t
+&ldquo;prakiseering,&rdquo; so I stepped across to him with
+the slowly enunciated query: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Vertel me nou es:
+wat voor signaal moet ik maken, als ik wensch
+op genomen te worden?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>He was the promptest of the group, for he
+replied glibly: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik weet het niet. Je mot eve by
+de Politie gaan vragen.</span>&rdquo; But not a word about
+the tram.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">MY DUTCH BREAKS DOWN.</div>
+
+<p>I gave it up. No information could possibly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span>
+be extracted from these roadmen. My Dutch
+had quite broken down, and in disgust, I surrendered
+the leading of the expedition wholly
+to Terence.</p>
+
+<p>Terence has a theory that he can make his
+meaning clear by means of careful and scientific
+gesticulation. Now he took his innings, while I
+watched the proceedings from a comfortable seat
+by the roadside.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;They&rsquo;re quite clever at it,&rdquo; he shouted to me.
+&ldquo;The tram will be here in two somethings&mdash;I
+believe two hours&mdash;so we may as well move
+on: it&rsquo;ll be no use to us, to wait.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;All right,&rdquo; I said; &ldquo;your way of it!&rdquo; And
+off we started, tired as we were. We weren&rsquo;t ten
+minutes on the road till the tram was heard puffing
+behind us; and catching sight of a kind of
+double line in front of us we bounded towards
+this spot in hopes there might be a halte there.
+There <em>was:</em> and the tram waited half an hour
+at it, and then went back again the way it had
+come. We had to walk. Well, at all events we
+reached <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Velp</span> at dark. My cycle was nicely mended,
+so after getting some refreshments in an excellent
+<i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">logement</i> and taking a prolonged and well<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span>
+earned rest, we mounted our bikes and rode straight
+to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span>.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE TRAIN THAT NEVER STOPS.</div>
+
+<p>So disgusted was I with my ill-success in Dutch
+that I tackled the porters in English. An obliging
+<span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">wit-jas</span> asked me if I would have the day-train.
+&ldquo;Rather not,&rdquo; I told him. &ldquo;There will surely be
+another train to-night. It&rsquo;s only nine.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The first was a <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bommel</span>, he said, and would do
+for the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">fietsen</span>; but he recommended us to wait
+for the day-train.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;What! And stay here all night?&rdquo; I asked.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;No,&rdquo; he explained. &ldquo;Day-trein will be here
+soon.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<strong>How is that?</strong>&rdquo; said I. &ldquo;<strong>How</strong> in the wide
+world can a <strong>Day-train go at night</strong>? or is it
+because it started from Germany by day-light?
+You surely don&rsquo;t reckon here by <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Amerikaansche
+tijd</span> for the sake of the tourists?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;You not understand,&rdquo; he explained. &ldquo;We call
+it day-trein becos&rsquo; you pay more&mdash;.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well!&rdquo; I interrupted; &ldquo;that would be a Pay-train,
+then! Not Day.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;No, no,&rdquo; he said excitedly. &ldquo;Zis trein go
+kwik!&mdash;not stop&mdash;<strong>anywheres</strong>!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;But if it doesn&rsquo;t stop, how can we get in?&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span>
+I asked. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Of moet ik <strong>belet vragen</strong> voor deze
+Dag-trein? Geeft de trein belet?</span> You&rsquo;ll need a
+special kind of ticket, too&mdash;perhaps an aanslagsbiljet?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;No, no; only little <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bewijsje</span>&mdash;kwik trein&mdash;bring
+Restoration&mdash;becos&rsquo;&mdash;.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;What? The Restoration! It turns day into
+night, and brings back Charles&nbsp;II! Go on, please,
+I can believe anything now!&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote"><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">MET HANGENDE POOTJES</span>&mdash;<span lang="la" xml:lang="la">RE INFECTA</span>.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Hallo! is this where you are?&rdquo; sounded gratefully
+on our ears. It was <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span>, who had
+been expecting us all day, after he had heard about
+our call, from the indignant butler. He had given
+up all hope of seeing us, but we passed him by
+in the dark, talking and laughing. He had followed
+hot-speed to the station&mdash;in time to explain
+the mysteries of the D-trein. My spirits rose. The
+world was still ruled by reason. Of course we went
+back with our rescuer. That was the original
+plan, and I had a grammar to send with him to
+the Hague.</p>
+
+<p>As he waited, talking to Terence, I recalled
+the cycles. The wit-jas demurred: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">De fietsen zijn
+al weg.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Neen, niet waar</span>,&rdquo; I told him. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Onmogelijk,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span>
+hoor! Geen trein is weg. Daar zijn de papiertjes
+ervan. Pak ze: breng de fietsen mee. Ik weiger
+je verontschuldigingen. Doe wat ik zeg, ik bid U.
+En niet terug komen met hangende pootjes!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>CHAPTER XV.<br /><br />
+
+<small>SUPPER AT A <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">BOERDERIJ</span>.</small></h2>
+
+
+<p>That night, after Terence had retired, I had a
+confidential talk with <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span>; and I begged
+of him, as a great favour, to take the Grammar
+to Kathleen, and&mdash;if he had time&mdash;give her
+a little coaching in Dutch. He said he would&mdash;to
+oblige me; and I was pleased to notice that
+he started, taking Boyton with him, by the earliest
+possible train. This was the six twenty&mdash;a
+notorious <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">bommel</span> which brought him into the
+Hague only seventeen minutes earlier than if he
+had waited for a decent breakfast.</p>
+
+<p>Enderby got to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Arnhem</span> about noon, and took
+us &lsquo;in tow&rsquo; for our cycling tour. We had a glorious
+week of it in Gelderland under his direction; but
+there were no adventures worth speaking of. In<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span>
+ten days we were back at the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Residentie</span>, as &lsquo;brown
+as berries and as gay as larks&rsquo;. It is Terence&rsquo;s
+phrase, and I give it for what it&rsquo;s worth.</p>
+
+<p>But at all events <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van Leeuwen</span> was gay enough now.
+His pedagogic labours seemed to suit him, and Kathleen
+was quite herself again. To hear her laugh now
+was to imagine that you were back in Kilkenny in the
+days before the suffragette question was mooted.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">IN THE SHADE OF THE <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">PRIEELTJE</span>.</div>
+
+<p>We were all delighted. Except perhaps Enderby.
+That youth didn&rsquo;t appear more than half pleased at
+the turn things had taken; but he had the grace to
+keep out of the way and consoled himself with motoring.
+One day&mdash;I had only sat down to luncheon&mdash;he
+carried me off for a great run to the islands south of
+Rotterdam. But the machine broke down twice before
+we reached <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Dordrecht</span>, and we had to content ourselves
+with housing its fragments in a shed, and walking
+to a <i lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">boerderij</i> where my friend was well known.
+Here, indeed, we were expected to supper; but we
+arrived hours before we were due, and <em>minus</em> an automobile.
+This necessitated explanations, which Enderby
+seemed gracefully enough to make to the family
+party in the garden. In a shady <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">prieeltje</span> there,
+they regaled us with &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">liemonade</span>&rdquo;; and I occasioned
+some consternation by rising twice to offer my seat to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span>
+the mother and daughter respectively, who came in
+after I had sat down. They wouldn&rsquo;t take the chair I
+vacated for them, and appeared to resent my civility.
+Enderby, too, made me uncomfortable by touching
+my foot and saying, <i lang="it" xml:lang="it">sotto voce</i>, &ldquo;Take care what you&rsquo;re
+about, O&rsquo;Neill&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Baas Willemse</span> was very sympathetic about the
+mishap to our motor, and strongly recommended the
+services of a gifted blacksmith of his acquaintance.</p>
+
+<p>Indeed, before we knew, he had a pony harnessed
+in a sort of hooded tax-cart, in which he insisted in
+driving Enderby to this wonderful mechanic, to have
+the damaged car put to rights. And off they started.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN UNPREPARED GUEST.</div>
+
+<p>It was only then that I realized the situation. Here
+was I&mdash;without dictionary or phrase-book&mdash;left to
+play the part of intelligent guest, unaided and unprepared.
+And that was the first time in my life I was
+&lsquo;spending the evening&rsquo; in a non-English-speaking
+home. How would I get through it? I did hope that
+the local Vulcan would be quick.</p>
+
+<p>At first it wasn&rsquo;t so bad. What with remarks
+about &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">het prachtige weer</span>&rdquo; and &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">het ongeluk</span>&rdquo;, and
+what with playing with the children, I got along
+quite smoothly for a while.</p>
+
+<p>I even discoursed a little about the beauty of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span>
+the afternoon-sunlight and &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">het schilderachtige
+van het zomerlandschap</span>&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">COWS&rsquo; OVERCOATS.</div>
+
+<p>All this was taken in such good part that I
+went further afield; and noticing a large number
+of cattle with odd coverings on their backs, I
+ventured on a comparison which I fancied might
+interest the company. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">In Groot-Brittanje hebben de
+koeien niet zoo dikwijls overjassen. Mag ik beleefd
+vragen: gebeurt dat hier van wege de gezelligheid,
+of van wege de gezondheid, of voor het mooi?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>They were all pleased at this, and gave me a lot
+of talk about cows&mdash;which didn&rsquo;t make me much
+the wiser.</p>
+
+<p>By violent efforts I recalled some of my old choice
+phrases, and passed myself somehow. But alas!
+supper came; and then my real troubles began.</p>
+
+<p>We all adjourned to a <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">binnen-kamer</span>, where an
+ample spread awaited us. I was given the seat of
+honour. It was a great pity, all agreed, that <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer</span>
+Enderby wasn&rsquo;t back: but they thought I might
+be hungry. Well, I was&mdash;and with reason.
+Nothing to eat since breakfast!</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Thee of chocolaat, Mijnheer?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Thee, alstublieft</span>&rdquo;, I said.&mdash;And I got it.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Krentebroodjes?</span>&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span></p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THANK YOU.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Dank U</span>,&rdquo; I answered pleasantly, and reached
+for one in a leisurely manner. You don&rsquo;t like to
+parade your hunger, you know. Well, I hadn&rsquo;t been
+prompt enough. A plateful from which I was about
+to help myself, was removed. The action surprised me,
+and I looked for a moment at the mother, who had
+withdrawn the dainties so unexpectedly. She looked
+at me, slightly ruffled. But no <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">krentebroodjes</span>!</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wil mijnheer een broodje met vleesch?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Oh dank U wel</span>,&rdquo; I said, endeavouring to be
+quicker. That time I nearly had a slice. But the
+agile youth, <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jaap</span>, who was in charge of the plate,
+whipped it away too.</p>
+
+<p>No <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">broodjes met vleesch</span> for me! It was very queer.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Soms een ei?</span>&rdquo; said the dignified grandmother,
+in a white cap with gold ornaments. She presided,
+and did a great deal of the talking; and I could make
+out that she was the widow of a fisherman or
+shipowner in a small way, and had once visited
+Hull. In virtue of having spent a week there, some
+forty years before, she was regarded evidently by
+all the rest as an authority on English manners
+and customs and language and literature.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Soms een ei?</span>&rdquo; she pleaded. &ldquo;Engelshman like
+egg.&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>Very much, indeed, I thought, if I could only get
+one&mdash;call me English or Irish or whatever you like.
+Fain would I have had an egg off that plate, where
+she had just put down six or eight, freshly boiled.</p>
+
+<p>Determined to get one, if politeness would assist
+me, I smiled and bowed and smiled again. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Oh, ik
+dank U duizendmaal. Ik bewijs volkomen dankbaarheid.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">ANOTHER CUP.</div>
+
+<p>Stunned apparently by my reply, she hesitated.
+To encourage her to extend these edibles a trifle nearer,
+I said, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Alstublieft. Dank U.</span>&rdquo; But she only sighed,
+and laid the plate out of reach, reproachfully.</p>
+
+<p>No eggs!</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Truitje</span>,&rdquo; she whispered to her granddaughter;
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">presenteer de schuimpjes</span>.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Truitje</span> didn&rsquo;t say a word, but pushed a schaaltje
+of these light refreshments towards me.</p>
+
+<p>I did secure two; but in a moment they were
+finished. You see, a schuimpje doesn&rsquo;t last very
+long, when you are really hungry.</p>
+
+<p>Then the mother complained, courteously, of my
+slender appetite: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer wil niets gebruiken.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">O ja</span>,&rdquo; I interrupted, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">integendeel! Heel graag.
+Alstublieft.</span>&rdquo; And to show I meant it, I asked for
+another cup of tea. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mag ik beleefdelijk vragen om<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span>
+een andere kop?</span>&rdquo; Here I reached cup and saucer
+towards them.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">VOOR DE PRONK.</div>
+
+<p>That certainly created a diversion. They looked
+blankly at one another, till the grandmother&mdash;she was
+very hearty&mdash;called out with a cheerful laugh, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hé,
+ja. Dat&rsquo;s waar ook. De Engelsche koppen zijn groot.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Truitje</span>,&rdquo; she whispered in an audible aside. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Breng
+even een Engelsche kom. Ze staan in de kast.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Zie zoo. Mijnheer</span>,&rdquo; she continued to me with a
+pleasant smile. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nouw, Mijnheer wil zeker nog wat
+thee hebben? Nouw, niet bedanken, hoor.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Oh ja</span>,&rdquo; I replied joyfully, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Schiet op&mdash;Als&rsquo;tublieft&mdash;dank
+U. Dank U&mdash;heelemaal!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Holding the tea-pot poised in her hand, she looked
+at me appealingly, but in doubt. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wat? heus?</span>&rdquo; she
+said.</p>
+
+<p>What was I to do?</p>
+
+<p>I looked at her quite as appealingly, and replied.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, heus! Wel zeker.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>That was decisive. No tea!</p>
+
+<p>The cup, however, was planted down in front of me,
+upside down. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het is voor de pronk, zeker</span>,&rdquo; said the
+grandmother. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Engelsche gewoonte&mdash;zeer net.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>But conversation flagged. The silence was painful.
+You could have heard a pin drop. My discreet<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span>
+attempt to ask for something had failed, and I didn&rsquo;t
+see exactly how I was to improve upon it.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THINGS ARE DEAR IN HOLLAND.</div>
+
+<p>The mother meantime surveyed my empty plate
+and empty cup with distinct disapproval, and put
+out a feeler: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer houdt niet van Hollandsche
+kost?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hollandsch kost</span>&rsquo;, what things <strong>cost</strong> in Holland&mdash;Dutch
+prices, in other words? Well, they are
+rather high sometimes. The remark seemed somewhat
+irrelevant, but it was talk, and therefore
+welcome. Anything to break that oppressive silence.
+Eagerly embracing the opportunity of saying something,
+I responded with cordiality: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hollandsche
+kost? Neen. Ik houd niet erg ervan. Dat kan U
+begrijpen. Ze zijn veels te hoog!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>This well-meant pleasantry was received with
+such evident disfavour that I hastened to explain.
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik bedoel dat vele artikelen zijn kostbaar&mdash;of
+kostelijk&mdash;mijns bedunkens&mdash;in Holland&mdash;maar
+van onberispelijke smaak.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Hardly any response was made to this.&mdash;The
+merest murmur on the part of the grandmother,
+that was all. But they all looked at me curiously,
+without saying a word.</p>
+
+<p>Frantically I strove to make an observation in an<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span>
+easy friendly way, but all my Dutch seemed to
+have deserted me.&mdash;At least all I judged suitable.</p>
+
+<p>Fragments of conversation did float through my
+agonized brain, but none of them was quite what
+I needed.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik graauw, ik kef en kweel</span>&rdquo; was out of the
+question.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN INNOCENT OBSERVATION.</div>
+
+<p>Two proverbs suddenly flashed across my mind,
+and I gripped them firmly. One was: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Een vogel in de
+hand is meer waard dan tien in de lucht</span>,&rdquo; and the tempting
+parallel offered itself: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Eén broodje in de hand
+is meer waard dan tien op een bord.</span>&rdquo; As this aphorism,
+however, didn&rsquo;t sound extra civil, I let it pass.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Deugd en belooning gaan zelden te samen</span>&rdquo; was the
+second proverb; and on that model I managed, after
+due cogitation, to construct a nice harmless phrase.
+As it expressed what we all knew and could see
+before our eyes, I felt safe against contradiction, and
+I knew it couldn&rsquo;t hurt anybody. This dictum ran:
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Koek en boterham gaan dikwijls te samen.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Perhaps it was owing to the suddenness with
+which I proclaimed this truth, or to some severity
+in my manner; but the effect produced on the
+company was magical.</p>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jaap</span> dropped his fork with a clatter and said,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span>
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gunst!</span>&rdquo; The mother put her hand to her chest,
+whispering. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Zoo&rsquo;n schrik!</span>&rdquo; All looked startled
+and stopped eating!</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">HALF-ELF.</div>
+
+<p>To divert the scrutiny of so many eyes, I manufactured
+talk on the first thing that occurred to me,
+and, reverting to the Dutch prices, said: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Sommige
+artikelen in Holland zijn duur. Van morgen heb
+ik een plaat bezichtigd&mdash;een poes opgerold over
+een kannetje melk&mdash;de zee in de verte. Prachtig.
+Maar peper-duur. Tien gulden en een half.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wat zegt mijnheer</span>,&rdquo; asked the grandmother,
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">van de poes en de peper en de tien gulden?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Assuring her it was merely a &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">plaat</span>&rsquo;, but one that
+was &lsquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">erg kostbaar</span>&rsquo;, I grasped at the analogy of
+the hours of the day, to do full justice to the expensiveness
+of the picture. If ten o&rsquo;clock and a
+half works out at &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">half-elf-uur</span>,&rdquo; it is not hard
+to reckon what ten guilders-and-a-half <em>ought</em> to
+be; so I gave it with relish: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">En, Juffrouw, wat
+denkt U? Het kost half-elf-gulden!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Jaap looked at his watch and shook his head.
+Then he shook the watch, put it back in his pocket
+and fastened his eyes again on me.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee, hoor!</span>&rdquo; exclaimed the mother, who had now
+begun to help a special dish; &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nee; zoo laat is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span>
+het niet. Mijnheer O&rsquo;Neill, neem een stukje pudding&mdash;toe
+dan&mdash;heel verteerbaar.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">STARVATION IN THE MIDST OF PLENTY.</div>
+
+<p>My plate was passed along, and was heaped up
+liberally. Though I waited with my thanks as long
+as I could, I was obliged to intervene when the plate
+was piled high enough for any two people. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nouw,
+ik bedank!</span>&rdquo; I ejaculated, making my best bow.</p>
+
+<p>But that caused the guillotine to fall once more.
+With a gesture of impatience <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Truitje</span> put away
+my <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">verteerbaar pudding</span> on a remote side-table.
+Not the least chance of getting it!</p>
+
+<p>I was starving in the midst of plenty!</p>
+
+<p>As my hosts appeared to be as much impressed
+with the contrast as I was, I endeavoured to smooth
+things over a little, and set them more at their ease.
+Making the best of it, with all the careless grace I
+could muster I blandly assured them that it didn&rsquo;t
+matter. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Het geeft niets&mdash;het hindert niet&mdash;het
+komt er niet opaan.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>But they grew huffy and distant&mdash;my
+phrases didn&rsquo;t do much to relieve the strain&mdash;and
+I was feeling more depressed and famished
+every minute, when, to my unspeakable relief,
+up there came the sound of wheels on the gravel,
+and in a moment I heard Enderby&rsquo;s voice talking<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span>
+Dutch loudly and confidently in the hall.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">MOHAMMEDAN</span>.</div>
+
+<p>The young folks all rushed out to meet him (he is
+a prime favourite with them) and there was much
+whispering and laughing and a long confabulation
+before they came back.</p>
+
+<p>Enderby entered, and greeted the older people
+merrily: but there was a quizzical frown upon
+his brow as he sat down near me. &ldquo;What&rsquo;s all
+this O&rsquo;Neill?&rdquo; he whispered. &ldquo;Are you ill?&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m as well as could be expected in the circumstances.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Circumstances! Why you wouldn&rsquo;t touch the
+good food they gave you. Not content with despising
+their cookery you objected to their tea-cups, and pretend
+that religious scruples keep you from eating until
+after half-past ten. They think you are some kind of
+<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mohammedan</span>. These kind people are a little hurt, I
+fear; and I can see they are greatly astonished.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;So am I! I have been as polite as anything, all the
+time; but though they offer me plenty of everything,
+if I attempt to help myself, whew!&mdash;they whisk the
+dish away. They may be hurt, as you say; but I can
+tell you, <em>I&rsquo;m starving</em>. Is there no way to&mdash;.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Our conversation was interrupted by the mother&rsquo;s
+voice, which broke in with the cheery question:<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span>
+&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer Enderby houdt <strong>wel</strong> van Hollandsche
+kost, niet waar?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">PROBEER NOUW IS.</div>
+
+<p>I watched what he would say.</p>
+
+<p>He used two easy words: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Dat spreekt.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>Busying herself with plates and spoons, the mother
+continued: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">U neemt een beetje avondeten?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Nouw! Of ik!</span>&rdquo; said Enderby with enthusiasm&mdash;and
+they brought him eatables all sorts.</p>
+
+<p>These dainties caught my eye in spite of myself;
+and I wondered why none had been given to me. It
+was now going on to ten; and I had had nothing since
+early breakfast, except a glass of lemonade, a cup of
+tea and two small <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">schuimpjes</span>.</p>
+
+<p>The old lady was observant, and must have detected
+famine in my eye, for with a glance at the clock she
+called softly to <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Truitje</span>: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Probeer nouw is.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>To me she said, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wil Mijnheer nog thee?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The secret was mine now, and I didn&rsquo;t hesitate.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Of ik!</span>&rdquo; I replied.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">OPEN SESAME.</div>
+
+<p>There was a scream of delight from all quarters!
+My <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">kom</span> was turned right-side up and filled to the
+brim with fresh warm tea. I was the centre of
+interest at once. Cupboards flew open on all sides,
+like pistol-shots, and everybody was waiting to
+help me. It was who would give me most.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ham en een broodje?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Of ik!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Rookvleesch&mdash;en een ei?</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Of ik!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>The seven lean years were past, now the time
+of plenty was come.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Bitterkoekjes en leverworst?</span>&rdquo;&mdash;&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Muisjes en
+karnemelk?</span>&rdquo;&mdash;&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Appelbolletjes, wentelteefjes en
+molsla?</span>&rdquo;&mdash;I refused nothing.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Of ik</span>&rdquo; was the &ldquo;Open Sesame&rdquo;&mdash;the key
+to unlock all cupboards and all hearts.</p>
+
+<p>I took care to thank nobody for anything, for
+fear my plate would be removed. Happy laughter
+was heard on all sides. Smiles beamed on every
+face. In an instant I had become the most popular
+man on the island,&mdash;at all events with the people
+in that farm-house. Their hospitality and my hunger
+had met at last, and come to terms&mdash;to the
+unbounded enthusiasm of all.</p>
+
+<p>Meantime Enderby had communicated to them
+the fact that I was an Irishman; and I overheard
+someone venture on the singular criticism: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">De
+Ieren zijn zoo lief voor elkaar! Hij gebruikt niets
+als zijn vriend er niet bij is.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Hé, wat lief!</span>&rdquo; said <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Baas Willemse</span>.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span></p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Innig!</span>&rdquo; whispered the grandmother, smiling.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Leuk</span>&rdquo;, answered the mother.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Aardig</span>&rdquo;, said some one else.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Typisch</span>&rdquo;, exclaimed Truitje.</p>
+
+<p>A grumble fell on our ears: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wat gek!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>It was <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jaap</span>.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">AN AFFECTIONATE IRISH TERRIER.</div>
+
+<p><span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Truitje</span> talked on one side of Enderby; <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jaap</span>
+talked on the other. Enderby smiled, then sniggered,
+then laughed; and finally, laying down his
+knife and fork, he looked at me, and leaned back
+in his chair and positively roared.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Well, what&rsquo;s the matter?&rdquo; I asked austerely.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;She says it&rsquo;s touching to see your affection for
+me. You looked so melancholy when I was away, as
+if you were longing for something&mdash;or crossed in
+love&mdash;or disappointed! You&rsquo;ve won their hearts,
+at last, my boy, not a doubt of it. Still, don&rsquo;t
+overdo that phrase, now that you&rsquo;ve got it. <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jaap</span>
+here has a story about an Irish terrier in <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Drenthe</span>
+that refused to eat anything for three days, when
+its master was away in <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Amsterdam</span>. But he adds
+that the terrier made up for it, by eating everything
+it could, when its master came back. I
+can see that you are going to achieve a reputation
+that will outrival that of your canine compatriot,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span>
+unless you have a care. Be a bit cautious, please.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">GENERAL PRINCIPLES.</div>
+
+<p>Here <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jaap</span>, dimly apprehending that Enderby
+was speaking about him, performed a mystic rite
+that puzzled me extremely.</p>
+
+<p>Pretending to sharpen an imaginary pencil on his
+forefinger he held it towards us and cried, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Sliep uit.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;What on earth is that?&rdquo; I asked Enderby&mdash;who,
+however, could only tell me that it was intended
+as a roguish taunt&mdash;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jaap</span> was always a schelm&mdash;but
+the phrase was otherwise meaningless.</p>
+
+<p>As such I jotted it down at once in my notebook
+for future use.</p>
+
+<p>From these experiences in the boerderij I was
+able to deduce an important general principle of
+practical value.</p>
+
+<p><strong>If you want anything in Holland never
+say &ldquo;thank you&rdquo;, until the object is firmly
+in your grasp.</strong> Then you may be as civil
+as you like. But before you get hold of it, you
+are only safe if you say, &ldquo;If I&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<p><strong>In the Dutch language premature thanks
+are equivalent to a refusal; so you&rsquo;d better
+keep your gratitude out of sight.</strong></p>
+
+<p>Well, I had won all hearts here in virtue of
+my discoveries. As we were going away the grandmother<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span>
+gave me a second Good-bye, shaking me
+warmly by both hands. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Heeft mijnheer zich goed
+geamuseerd?</span>&rdquo; she enquired.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">A PARTING SALVO.</div>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Kostelijk&mdash;Uitstekend&mdash;Nouw!</span>&rdquo; was my
+prompt reply, for I had expected that query.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Wat spreekt mijnheer nouw makkelijk Hollandsch!</span>&rdquo;
+she exclaimed.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Gunst, ja</span>&rdquo;, was my retort. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ik heb zoo&rsquo;n pret
+gehad! Onbetaalbaar!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>But I caught <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jaap&rsquo;s</span> eye; it was critical; so to pay
+back the youth for his terrier-story I took out my
+pencil, sharpened it in full view of them all and
+said, &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Sliep uit, Jaap; je bent een schelm</span>&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<p>With that they all cheered, young and old,
+saying &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Net, Mijnheer, net!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Tot weerziens!</span>&rdquo; laughed the grandmother shaking
+hands again. &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Kom spoedig terug</span>&rdquo;.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja hoor; dat spreekt.</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Belooft u?</span>&rdquo; she repeated, before she let me go.</p>
+
+<p>I pulled myself together, and gave a parting
+salvo: &ldquo;<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Ja, zeker&mdash;Stellig&mdash;Och kom!&mdash;Reken
+er op!&mdash;Of ik!!</span>&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>We drove away in a perfect tornado of applause.</p>
+<hr class="l2"/>
+<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span></p>
+
+
+<h2>EPILOGUE.</h2>
+
+
+<p>On reaching my rooms at<span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl"> Ferdinand Bolstraat</span> 66<i>a</i>,
+the landlady greeted me with respectful effusion
+and told me that <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Jan</span> was as good as cured, though the
+wounded arm would remain stiff for a good while, she
+feared. She was loud in the praises of the <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Engelsche
+juffrouw</span> and her profisciency in Dutch; and (sinking
+her voice confidentially) <span lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Mijnheer van Leeuwen</span> had
+left a letter for me upstairs.</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Boyton&rdquo;, I thought, as I climbed those forty nine
+precipitous steps that led to my room, &ldquo;I hope you
+have done your duty.&rdquo;</p>
+
+<p>And he had.</p>
+
+<div class="sidenote">THE EXPECTED SURPRISE.</div>
+
+<p>Van Leeuwen wrote that he would prepare me for
+a great surprise! It was yet a profound secret; but,&mdash;well,
+in fact&mdash;that is to say&mdash;he was engaged
+to my cousin Kathleen. They had discovered mutual<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span>
+sympathies and affinities over the study of Dutch&mdash;to
+which language now my cousin was devoting her
+serious attention. By the by they had been delighted
+with that monograph of mine. And the queer Grammar
+was useful. (I should think so!)</p>
+
+<p>He said that he could well imagine my astonished
+looks when I got this news about his attachment!
+Now confess, he concluded, that you hadn&rsquo;t the ghost
+of a suspicion as to what was coming?</p>
+
+<p>&ldquo;Oh hadn&rsquo;t I just?&rdquo; I soliloquized, &ldquo;Well; there&rsquo;s
+only one thing, my dear fellow, to say to all that;
+And I really must say it in Dutch: <span class="g" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">Of ik</span>?&rdquo;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span></p>
+
+<hr class="l2"/>
+
+<div class="tnote" lang="nl" xml:lang="nl">
+<p class="center"><b>Opmerkingen van de bewerker</b></p>
+
+
+<p class="r2">De kopteksten van het oorspronkelijke boek zijn gebruikt
+als zijnoten.</p>
+
+<p>Voor het gemak van de lezer is de inhoudsopgave verplaatst van het
+eind van het boek naar het begin.</p>
+
+<p>In de tabel met uitspraakregels op pag. 16 werd in het origineel E&nbsp;U
+twee keer genoemd. De tweede is veranderd in E&nbsp;I.</p>
+
+<p>Duidelijke drukfouten zijn stilzwijgend verbeterd. Alle andere
+eigenaardigheden en inconsequenties in spelling en grammatica zijn
+niet gewijzigd, in het bijzonder die in de zogenaamde citaten uit
+&ldquo;Boyton and Brandnetel&rdquo;. Ook de stijl van de auteur
+in het gebruik van aanhalingstekens is niet gewijzigd.</p></div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland, by
+J. Irwin Brown
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland
+
+Author: J. Irwin Brown
+
+Release Date: July 17, 2011 [EBook #36765]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF ***
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+
+
+
+Produced by Mark C. Orton, eagkw and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
+
+
+
+
+
+
+  THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF O'NEILL IN HOLLAND.
+
+
+
+
+  Books by CUEY-NA-GAEL:
+
+
+  An Irishman's Difficulties in Speaking Dutch.
+
+  Deze humor deed aan het beste van Jerome denken.
+                                         (_Nieuwe Courant_).
+
+  Ingenaaid =90 cts.=        Gebonden =f 1,25=.
+
+
+  Ireland, its Humour and Pathos.
+
+  A most interesting study ... graceful ... bright and readable.
+                                         (_British Weekly_).
+
+  Treffende beschrijvingen van landschap... Geestig en
+  pathetisch. (_N. Gron. Courant_).
+
+  Vol humor en geest--weemoed en melancholie.
+                                           (_Dor. Courant_).
+
+  Ingenaaid =90 cts.=        Gebonden =f 1,25=.
+
+
+  The Further Adventures of O'Neill.
+
+  Thans kregen wij de avonturen van O'Neill te hooren bij een
+  vriendelijke boerenfamilie..., zijn dwaze ontmoeting in
+  Gouda.... in het Haagsche Bosch.... en zijn verwarring met
+  "dank u" en "thank you".... en Kanape.... en de D-trein--het
+  was alles niet om na te vertellen.
+
+  Ingenaaid =90 cts.=        Gebonden =f 1,25=.
+
+
+  Published by J. M. BREDEE, Rotterdam.
+
+
+
+
+  THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF
+  O'NEILL IN HOLLAND
+
+  BY
+
+  CUEY-NA-GAEL,
+  (REV. J. IRWIN BROWN, B. D.)
+
+  Author of "An Irishman's Difficulties in Speaking Dutch",
+  "Ireland, its Humour and Pathos".
+
+  SECOND EDITION.
+
+  [Illustration]
+
+  ROTTERDAM
+  J. M. BREDEE.
+  1914
+
+
+
+
+                  For permission to give recitations or
+                  readings from this book, application
+                  should be made to the Publisher.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+                                       Page.
+            CHAPTER I.
+
+  Where did O'Neill's Dutch come from?     1
+
+            CHAPTER II.
+
+  Some Characteristics of the Compendious  5
+    Guide to Dutch
+
+            CHAPTER III.
+
+  How O'Neill learnt to pronounce         14
+
+            CHAPTER IV.
+
+  An Interlude and an Application         18
+
+            CHAPTER V.
+
+  The Wegwijzer on Dutch Syntax           23
+
+            CHAPTER VI.
+
+  The Grammatical Caress                  29
+
+            CHAPTER VII.
+
+  A Gossipy Letter                        34
+
+            CHAPTER VIII.
+
+  The Surprises of the Maas               44
+
+            CHAPTER IX.
+
+  The Thunderstorm                        55
+
+            CHAPTER X.
+
+  The Devoted Nurse                       68
+
+            CHAPTER XI.
+
+  Gossip and Diplomacy                    76
+
+            CHAPTER XII.
+
+  A Study in Character                    83
+
+            CHAPTER XIII.
+
+  Belet!                                  97
+
+            CHAPTER XIV.
+
+  The Day-train                          104
+
+            CHAPTER XV.
+
+  Supper at a Boerderij                  112
+
+            EPILOGUE                     129
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+WHERE DID O'NEILL'S DUTCH COME FROM?
+
+A GREAT WORK.--THE CIVILIZED LADY.--BOYTON ANIMATES THE LEARNER.
+
+
+We had all heard something of Jack O'Neill's adventures in Holland; and
+the members of our informal little club in Trinity College Dublin were
+positively thirsting for fresh details. There must be much more to
+tell, we felt sure: and we had a multitude of questions to ask.
+
+Now the odd thing about O'Neill was that he didn't like to be
+interrogated; he preferred to tell his story straight through in his
+own way. He had evidently studied hard at the Dutch language, but
+without the least regard for system: and it was clear that he had been
+by no means careful in the choice of text books. Indeed, he seemed to
+be rather sensitive on this point, no doubt regretting that, in the
+ardour of his early enthusiasm, he had just taken the first grammar
+and exercise-book he could lay his hands upon, without consulting
+anybody. It was that curious plan of doing everything by himself that
+doubtless led him into the initial mistake, that of trying to get any
+sense out of "Boyton and Brandnetel".
+
+Apparently he had kept that "literary find" by him for reference, and
+for digging stray idioms and rules out of, while he added more modern
+volumes to his working stock. This would account for his glibness in
+rattling off out-of-the-way phrases, and for that rich bizarre flavour
+which his simplest Dutch utterance undoubtedly had.
+
+But we didn't know the worst.
+
+Intentionally vague though he was in talking about his authorities, we
+ran him to earth (so to speak) at last in the matter of "Boyton and
+Brandnetel"; and had a happy evening.
+
+That book was all O'Neill told us, and more. Printed on paper that
+seemed a cross between canvas and blot-sheet, it bore the date 1805.
+It was very Frenchified, and the English puzzled us extremely. Here is
+the Preface--or a part of it.
+
+  =The following WORK was, originally, compiled by William Boyton.
+  After passing +five Editions+, a Sixth appeared +partly enlarged,
+  and partly improved+, by Jac. Brandnetel. This last Edition was
+  published, at the Hague, in the Year, 1751.=
+
+  =The several particles, of Speech, are arranged by the usual Order;
+  and Declare with precision; every rule being followed, with
+  practical exercise. This Mode, of teaching, being already
+  +appreciated+; it will not be deemed Essential; nor do we, point
+  out, the utility of it. As to Syntax; it is fully treated: whilst,
+  +last not least+, cares have been exercised, to unite ease with
+  simplicity, accuracy with idiom, and animate the +Learner+. It aims
+  at the pupil of +High-Life+, and to acquire the Polish of the
+  +civilized Lady+.=
+
+  =THE HAGUE, 1805.=
+
+
+This brilliant introduction raised our expectations to fever heat. We
+had never encountered such an army of commas before; and as for the
+English--!
+
++Anything+, evidently, might be met with inside the covers of William
+Boyton's 'Work'.
+
+The best of it, of course, was its extraordinary politeness. Every
+other question was prefixed with "Verschoon my", and went on something
+like this: "Zoudt gij zoo goed willen zijn mij toe te staan...". Then
+there were some plain and unornamental phrases such as "Men weet
+nooit hoe een koe eenen haas vangt".--This was labelled 'proverbial
+expression', and was translated, happily enough, by "The unexpected
+often occurs."
+
+"Ik heb er het land aan je" was rendered mysteriously: "I have an
+objection", "I cannot agree".
+
+That was puzzling enough, and delightfully vague! But for all that
+found the phrase doubly underlined by O'Neill and marked by him as
+'useful for general conversation'.--
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+SOME CHARACTERISTICS OF THE COMPENDIOUS GUIDE TO THE DUTCH LANGUAGE.
+
+POLITE DIALOGUES.--HOW TO BUY A CASTOR.--NOT MURDERED?--GIJ
+ZIJT GERESTAUREERD.--THE ENGERT.--BETAALD ZETTEN.--GEKT GIJ ER
+MEDE?--DUIZENDMAAL VERSCHOONING, MEJUFFROUW!
+
+
+There was something good on every page, as might be expected from the
+very preface. And, withal, there was a steady process of boasting about
+its own merits that was most refreshing in the barren realm of grammar.
+
+With mock modesty it dubbed itself on the title page, "The Compendious
+Guide," and followed this up with another title "_Korte Wegwijzer tot
+de nederduitsche taal_." The whole compilation was evidently the work
+of several generations of literary gentlemen, who aimed at the 'Polish
+of the Civilized Lady' in quite different ways, but whose united
+efforts certainly made 'The Work' remarkably incoherent.
+
+We all quizzed O'Neill unmercifully about the Civilized Lady, and read
+some dialogues with immense satisfaction. So uproarious, indeed, did
+the fun become at last, that our neighbours on the stair came trooping
+in. Three of them were Cape-students, hard-working medicals, whom we
+never heard speaking Dutch, though we were well aware they must have
+known it. Like the others, they insisted on a full explanation of the
+tumult, and we showed them "Boyton". They didn't mind so much about the
+Civilized Lady; but when they turned to the Polite Dialogues at the
+end, a kind of shudder seemed to pass through them, as if they had got
+an electric shock--till finally they dropped the book and screamed with
+delight.
+
+"Why! that's nothing so very odd", said O'Neill, looking hurt. "I have
+often used lots of those phrases." Picking up the dishevelled leaves
+from the floor, he ran his eye down a page or two and said: "Yes, of
+course. These things are all right: A bit stiff and bookish, perhaps;
+but correct, quite correct. You fellows needn't be so excited over
+nothing."
+
+"Read us some!" clamoured the men from the Cape. "Read us some of the
+dialogues you imitated. Go on! Read!"
+
+"Oh!" said O'Neill, "almost any one of these conversations about common
+things is good enough. Here, for instance." And he took the book in his
+hand and walked about the room, giving us first the English--then the
+Dutch.
+
+
+  ="TOUCHING BUYING AND SELLING.=  =WEGENS KOOPEN EN VERKOOPEN.=
+
+  Have you any fine hats?          Hebt gij mooije hoeden?
+
+  This is one of the finest in     Daar is een van de fraaiste in 't
+    the Country.                     land.
+
+  Yes, Sir; this is a dreadfully   Ja, hoedemaker; deze tenminste is
+    nice one.                        ijsselijk mooi.
+
+  Just come close to the fire,     Eilieve! kruip bij het vuur,
+    Sir; and examine that hat        mijnheer; en bezie dien hoed
+    narrowly.                        eens wel."
+
+
+"That conversation," said the Professor, "must have been of immense
+help to you now in modern Holland?"
+
+"Hm"--replied Jack doubtfully.
+
+"O'Neill," said I; "Stop! You're making that out of your head. That
+stuff's never in any book."
+
+"Well," was the hasty reply; "I see this isn't so good as some
+parts--not so practical, perhaps; but that's all here. Wait a bit....
+Now listen. Here's something better. Hush!"
+
+
+  ="BETWEEN TWO ENGLISH GENTLEMEN.= =TUSSCHEN TWEE ENGELSCHE HEEREN.=
+
+  My dear Friend, I am extremely    Waarde Vriend! ik ben ten uiterste
+    happy to see you.                 verheugd u te zien (bezigtigen,
+                                      of a house).
+
+  It has been reported for a        Men heeft voor de waarheid verteld
+    certainty that you were taken     (als eene zekerheid verhaald) dat
+    by the Turks and murdered         gij van de Turken genomen waart
+    halfway between Leghorn and       en gemoord halfwege tusschen
+    Civita Vecchia.                   Livorno en Civita Vecchia.
+
+  But these atrocities did not      Maar deze gruwelen zijn mij niet
+    befall me!                        gebeurd!
+
+  You are convinced it is not       Gij zijt overtuigd dat zulks
+    true?                             onwaar is?
+
+  I am.                             Gewisselijk.
+
+  I rejoice that you are restored.  Ik verheug mij dat gij heelemaal
+                                      hersteld zijt geweest (of a
+                                      building: geheel en al
+                                      gerestaureerd geworden)."
+
+There was a noise in the room at this, but O'Neill went on boldly to
+finish the Dialogue.
+
+  "Are you speaking in jest?         Gekt gij ermede?
+
+  I do not jest.                     Ik gek er niet mede."
+
+
+"That's enough--quite enough--for the present", said the Cape men.
+"We'll borrow the +Wegwijzer+ from you, and bring it back safe.
+
+"No, there's no fear we'll mislay it, or harm it. Much too valuable for
+that. But--you'll excuse us; we can hardly believe you've got that
+actually in print. And we're curious to know what kind of rules those
+learned grammarians give. You'll lend us this mine of wisdom for a few
+days, won't you? Thank you, so much.
+
+"And by the way, here are some of your own notes. What's this about
+_engert_?"
+
+"Oh", said O'Neill; "that's a reminder about a neat phrase I picked up
+from my landlady. Did I never tell you?
+
+"Well. When my cousin came over, you know, on his way to Germany, he
+stayed with me a couple of days. He's very athletic--a fine wiry,
+muscular young fellow, lithe as a willow, as you are aware. So I wasn't
+astonished at overhearing the landlady and a crony of hers discussing
+him. They used a rumble of unintelligible words about Terence, as he
+passed the two of them on the stairs with the slightest of nods, and
+mounted three steps at a time, whistling as he went. There was no
+mistake about their referring to him; and amid the chaos of sounds I
+caught the words _eng_ and _engert_.
+
+Curious to know how Terence's agility, or perhaps his swarthy
+complexion, had affected them, I turned up these terms of admiration
+in my dictionary; and found _eng_, 'thin', 'narrow'. The longer word
+wasn't there. But on the whole it seemed safe to conclude from _eng_
+meaning 'narrow', that _engert_ would work out something like "fine
+strapping fellow and in excellent training". If that was it, my
+landlady had hit the nail on the head. For Terence had just been
+carrying all before him at the last Trinity sports.
+
+Her admiring criticism I duly entered in my notes and kept for use.
+
+Some days after Terence had left, the landlady was praising her son's
+cleverness to me; and to please her I just said that he was a wonderful
+boy. 'Mirakel van een jongen' was the expression I employed; and I was
+quite proud of it. But she didn't seem appreciative of my effort, so I
+fell back on her own idiom. Fortunately the lad was quite slender, and
+I could dwell with satisfaction on the suitability of my new word.
+
+"Hij is zoo eng", I said. "Ja juffrouw hij is een engert!--een echte
+engert!!"
+
+She received my encomium on her boy with speechless indignation, and
+rose and left the room. You can't be too careful", added O'Neill
+thoughtfully.
+
+"Jack," said one of the students. "I prefer your own notes even to
+Boyton. Haven't you some more? Ah, what's this?" he enquired, turning
+to some pencillings inside the back. "_Dat zou je wel willen_", he read
+aloud, "'signification doubtful!'
+
+"And here's one marked '_commercial_': 'We'll consider the transaction
+as settled': Dutch apparently something like, '_Dat zal ik u betaald
+zetten_'. Here's another labelled, '_not deftig, but very popular_':
+'_Ben je niet goed snik?_' Translation _seems_ to be: 'you're not quite
+able to follow my meaning.'
+
+"Ah! No more? That's a pity."
+
+"Oh I have plenty more," interposed O'Neill; "but not here. And you
+want to read this Boyton volume."
+
+"Let me finish the 'Dialogue between English gentlemen', and you may
+have The Work.
+
+The first Englishman says: "Ik bid U, mijnheer; laat mij geene
+onheusheid begaan."
+
+Then the other, the man who had been so disappointed that his friend
+wasn't murdered, answers politely: "Ik weet zeer wel welke +eerbied+
+ik U schuldig ben."
+
+Up to this moment the two acquaintances seemed to have got on fairly
+well together in spite of some difficulties. Why two Englishmen when
+they met in Paris about the year of grace 1805 should plunge into a
+complimentary dialogue in Dutch, is not very clear. But that there was
+a lurking feeling of antagonism in the +gossip's+ mind towards his
+compatriot, seems to be shown by the remark that he now makes to wind
+up the dialogue.
+
+"_Mejuffrouw_(!) _ik bid U duizendmaal om verschooning, indien ik heden
+eenige onheusheid omtrent U bega._"
+
+That was final. The returned traveller hasn't a word for himself, after
+he is called 'mejuffrouw.'
+
+"Mind you, gentlemen," continued O'Neill, holding Boyton aloft like a
+trophy, "if I +did+ try to stop too prolonged conversations in that
+gracefully irrelevant fashion, I had caught the trick of it from
+Brandnetel himself. You have only to go on heaping civilities on your
+wearisome talker's head, but take care to call him, just once,
+Mejuffrouw, and he'll have to go. It's a neat way of saying Good-bye.
+I never found the method to fail.
+
+Some day I'll tell you how supremely effective I found that unexpected
+little turn.
+
+Why it's nearly as good as _Zanik nouw niet_."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+HOW O'NEILL LEARNED TO PRONOUNCE.
+
+THE GOAT THAT RAN ROUND THE ROOF.--A HAS A BROAD SOUND.--NATIVES.
+
+
+"I never could quite understand," said Bart van Dam, the big Cape
+giant, who had carried off Boyton the week before, "how O'Neill
+managed, out of such an extraordinary book, to pick up anything of the
+pronunciation. For, as a matter of fact, he +does+ get quite close to
+some of the sounds; and I can nearly always guess what he is trying to
+say.
+
+"When he is talking about that interesting Rotterdam street, the
+Boompjes, he doesn't make the first part rhyme with the English word
+loom, and then add +cheese+, a thing I have heard Britishers do who
+should have known better. And actually, I have noticed he can
+distinguish +goed+, +groot+, +goot+. That's promising.
+
+"Some of my British friends at the Cape, even after I graduated on
+English Literature and History, used kindly to drop Dutch words into
+their conversation, either to make it easy for me, or to keep up my
+spirits, so to speak. Oh never a talk of over five minutes, but little
+familiar terms like +taal+, +zolder+, +maar+, and so on, would begin to
+be showered in, here and there. One of these linguists had taken me
+into his own back garden, (he was very fond of animals of all kinds and
+we had gone out to inspect those he had) when he began to explain the
+new improvements on his premises.
+
+We got into a deep discussion on the right way of draining a flat roof.
+"Come here", said he, at last. "Look up there, and you'll see a +goat
+of mine+ running all round the open space!"
+
+"Goat!" I exclaimed; "it'll fall!"
+
+"Nonsense", he said, "not unless lightning strikes it. Firm as a rock!
+Now, isn't that the right sort of +goat to carry the water off+?"
+
+He thought he had said goot in Dutch!
+
+Well now, Jack's beyond +that+. Who had been coaching him?
+
+Naturally I turned up Boyton on pronunciation the very first thing at
+home--and the mystery was solved! I was amazed. Boyton excels in
+teaching the sounds. Here is an extract or two from his
+
+
+  =REMARKS ON THE DUTCH PRONUNCIATION.=
+
+  =A=     =has a +broader sound+ than in English, bal.=
+
+  =A A=   =has a +broader sound+, aal.=
+
+  =A A U= =+sounds broad+, as in graauwen, to snarl.=
+
+  =E U=   =is described as resembling eu in Europe. For the +falsity+
+          thereof, let the word be pronounced by a Native, and the
+          +Mistake+ will be +felt+.=
+
+  =G=     =is a guttural letter difficult to an Englishman; it can only
+          be acquired by hearing it from a +Civilized Native+, e.g.
+          gierig and gijzelen.=
+
+  =U U=   =No Englishman can emit this sound. It may be well heard in
+          vuur (fire) and in guur. Consult a Dutch Instructor.=
+
+  =E I=   =This sound is beyond the powers of the unassisted English
+          Organs of Speech. It must first be heard from an educated
+          Hollander.=
+
+  =U I=   =It is +improper+ to make this identical with oy as in boy;
+          the native pronunciation must be followed.=
+
+
+There you have some of the Rules! They won't lead you far wrong, in any
+case. Then, to crown all, for fear the diligent reader wouldn't have
+caught the point yet, Boyton goes back to his favourite "Doctrine of
+the Native." Here it is:
+
+
+=The Editor places the learner on his guard against receiving wrong
+references, and directs him to an Instructor, or Native, whose Dialect
+it is, for the sound peculiar to each letter=.
+
+
+Bravo, Boyton!
+
+Three kinds of Natives he recommends the beginner to consult. He has
+them arranged in a sort of ascending scale--+the Civilized, the
+Intelligent and the Polite.+
+
+The two former classes will help you with the pronunciation, or with
+Het.
+
+From the latter you get idioms.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+AN INTERLUDE AND AN APPLICATION.
+
+LOFTY CANOPY OF GREEN.--BENT U EEN DICHTER?--THE CLOTURE.--AN INTERLUDE
+AND AN APPLICATION.
+
+
+"So our friend Jack had to ask always for the sounds of the words. That
+would be right good for him," said Bart, "and should have made his talk
+intelligible."
+
+"Well of course it did," said O'Neill. "They always understood the
++words+ I used. It was the applications I made that hampered them.
+
+"I had great trouble with a chatty old gentleman in the tram one
+morning going down to Scheveningen. It was just seven--I was hurrying
+to get an early dip, and he seemed bent on the same errand.
+
+
+Attracted by my blazer and towel he opened conversation about
+sea-bathing, and then proceeded to discourse on the beauties of the
+landscape. He seemed chilled by the poverty of my adjectives, though
+I worked them vigorously.
+
+
+"Deze weg vin je zeker wel mooi?" he said at last, looking up at the
+arched green overhead. "Of houd U niet van de natuur?"
+
+"Ja, zeker wel!" I hastened to assure him. "Ik houd er erg van--Het is
+prachtig! Net een tunnel van geboomte--van loofgroen."
+
+
+Then observing the pleasure my encomiums gave him, I ventured on
+something a little more lofty and poetic. My landlady had occasionally
+talked about a "canopy," which, so far as I had understood her, I took
+to mean the vast cupola of hangings over the old-fashioned bed in my
+lodging. She used to say that the canopy was new and beautiful, and
+needed constant dusting.
+
+I had always agreed to this, but never dreamt of hunting up a word that
+to all intents and purposes seemed the same as in English.
+
+"Indrukwekkend schoon," I added. "Wij zitten, als het ware, onder een
+canopey (that was my landlady's pronunciation) van bladeren."
+
+"Een kanape, mijnheer?"
+
+"Ja," said I, "een verheven canopy, niet waar?
+
+Wij zeilen onder een groene canopy--verbazend--magnifique!"
+
+"Hoe bedoelt U dat?" said the old gentleman more and more puzzled, and
+determined to find out my meaning.
+
+"Wij zitten hier, niet waar?" I began slowly; then pointing to the roof
+of green over our heads, I explained: "dat alles vormt een prachtige
+canopy boven ons heen. Zeker wel?"
+
+"Ik geloof het niet", said the chatty old gentleman. "De tram gelijkt
+ook niet op een kanape; of meent U dat?"
+
+"De tram niet," I exclaimed, "maar de boomen; kijk; het gebladerte, het
+geboomte en de hooge dak dat ze maken--dat alles zoo schitterend groen,
+dat is, mijns bedunkens, niets dan een canopy, uitgehangen zoo te
+spreken, over ons heen, in uitgestrekte schoonheid."
+
+
+The old gentleman surely was a little dull. He said, "Ik begrijp niet
+goed wat u zegt. Waar is de canape? Of bedoelt U soms een badstoel--op
+het strand?"
+
+"Nee", I answered with a deprecating smile; "Ik sprak maar poetisch.
++Verheven+", I added with a wave of my towel towards the greenery
+overhead.
+
+"He," said he with friendly interest, "bent U een dichter? Ik had U
+voor een schilder gehouden," he explained with a glance at my blazer.
+
+"Ik--een dichter!" I returned modestly. "Neen; niet erg. Op een kleine
+schaal, misschien." +On a small scale+, I meant to say; but I must have
+mangled the +sch+ badly, for he didn't catch the point, and I heard him
+mutter: "Een sjaal! een sjaal, EN een kanape!!"
+
+"Ja zeker, mijnheer," I reasoned; "U ziet het zelf voor U--daar onder
+de boomen--dat IS hier een canopy--"
+
+"Pardon", he interrupted, "dat is niet waar. Dat zijn gewone houten
+banken," he persisted argumentatively. "En wat bedoelt U met een sjaal?"
+
+How pertinacious the old gentleman was! He stuck to me like a leech. I
+couldn't shake him off; and we were still far off the Kurhaus.
+
+It was clearly a case for Boyton's conversational method.
+
+
+"Mejuffrouw!" I said firmly, leaning towards him, "Ik ken Uwe
+edelmoedigheid genoeg. Maar"--and here I added two nice little local
+idioms from the rich stores of my memory--"maar--U komt pas te kijken."
+
+That told him he wasn't looking at the matter in true philosophic
+perspective.
+
+But this I followed up, in a more authoritative way, with the assurance
+that I didn't at all agree with him. "Waarempeltjes," I whispered with
+elaborate distinctness, "ik heb het land aan je!"
+
+
+The chatty old gentleman got off at the next +halte+.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THE 'COMPENDIOUS GUIDE' ON DUTCH SYNTAX.
+
+NO DEFINITE RULES.--ALL NOUNS TO WHICH HET IS PREFIXED ARE NEUTER.--DEN
+IS NOT A PURE NOMINATIVE.--IK GRAUW, IK KEF, EN IK KWEEL.--A BOYTON TO
+THE RESCUE.
+
+
+Boyton's monograph on pronunciation is his finest piece of work. He
+never quite reaches that level elsewhere; and, if he is destined after
+a hundred and fifty years to achieve a name, it had better rest on his
+'Doctrine of the Native' than on his Syntax.
+
+So van Dam assured us, when our little party met in his room the week
+before Christmas.
+
+We had all been busy; but busy or not, the Cape men found time to skim
+over Boyton's entertaining paragraphs, as, indeed, we guessed, from the
+frequent guffaws and readings that reached us from time to time through
+the closed doors. To night we had accepted an invitation to supper,
+before the holidays; and we were to hear his views on O'Neill's 'Guide,
+Philosopher and Friend', Boyton,--in other words the '_Wegwijzer tot de
+nederduitsche taal_'. Long since Jack had, indeed, got other and more
+modern manuals of Dutch, so that he was supposed to look now with a
+certain contempt on his former monitor: but the "compendious guide" had
+laid the basis of his erudition, and he had still a sneaking regard for
+its honest old pages.
+
+What we wanted, indeed, was stories from Jack himself: but we had
+exhausted the more dramatic of these; and to get the fine aroma of the
+others--there were still many others--we thought some acquaintance with
+the compendium's syntax was essential.
+
+Van Dam had undertaken to put us up to any niceties he had been struck
+with.
+
+The first thing he told us was that Boyton had no clear ideas of any
+sort, and never laid down any definite rule. This lent him a certain
+diffidence in regard to most points,--a diffidence which in the case of
+HET became positive fright. At the first mention of +de+, +het+, and an
++adjective+, he gives as much encouragement as he can.
+
+It is not much.
+
+
+  =An insurmountable Difficulty for the Englischman is the right use of
+  the Particles, especially +het+. Sufficient rules cannot be given,
+  E. g. het mooie kind: eene sterke vrouw, een zwart schip.=
+
+  =+This is certain, that all Nouns, to which the Particles, het, dat,
+  or dit, are added are of the Neuter Gender; on this account, the e
+  final, in the Adjectives, when joined with such words, is,
+  generally, rejected.+=
+
+  =Even this rule admits of an exception. E. G. It is never said: +een
+  snel vogel: de groote paard+. But it is correct to say, if the
+  meaning admits it, +een groote man+. (also +groot+.) A native may be
+  consulted with advantage.=
+
+
+When Boyton is labouring under strong emotion, the effect is always to
+increase the number of commas, colons, and other stops.
+
+His agitation may also be traced in the way he harks back to any
+fundamental rule that he has already discussed ad nauseam.
+
+It is quite pathetic to note how he urges on his readers to reserve
+their dezen and dien and den for the accusative.
+
+
+  =It is good Dutch to say: ik zag dien braven man gisteren, _I saw
+  that honest man yesterday_; +but it is very bad Dutch,--whatever
+  custom may have introduced in some places; to say+--dien braven man
+  heeft het gezegd.=
+
+
+Take some gems at random.
+
+
+  =N.B. Prepositions are that part of speech, which are so called
+  because they are, commonly, put before the words, which are
+  subsequent to them, as +onder+ and +ondanks+.=
+
+
+  =N.B. Most Adverbs may be distinguished from adjectives by this
+  rule: If a substantive is added after them, they will make
+  +nonsense+; whereas, being joined to an Adjective or a Verb, they
+  will make good sense.=
+
+
+"What I admire most," said van Dam handing back The Work to O'Neill,
+"is the elasticity of the rules. He says, for instance, that you can
+render +I know+ by +ik weet+, and on the whole he is inclined to
+recommend that way of it. But he never commits himself.
+
+"+It must be also admitted that there are other authors of good standing
+who employ the Subjunctive form where we might expect the Indicative
+and who say+ IK WETE, +I know+."
+
+That's one of his rules!
+
+As a matter of fact there is no finality about anything in these pages.
+O'Neill, you were in training for a poet when you took up this book. I
+confess I should have liked to hear you going over your fifteen classes
+of irregular verbs, on the model (say) of ik grauw, ik kef en ik kweel,
+or even of ik krijsch, ik piep en ik lieg.
+
+There is a rich profusion of tenses too in Boyton. He needn't have
+apologized for being too simple when he furnishes you with four
+ordinary optatives and four future optatives."
+
+"You may jest as you like about Boyton", interrupted Jack; "but I tell
+you it's a book that has points. Do you know it once helped me to save
+a lady's life?"
+
+"Save a lady's life!" said the Professor and the Philosopher in one
+breath. "We'll withdraw all we've said, if you'll prove to us, now, that
+the 'Compendious Guide' was ever the least good to any human being."
+
+"Tell your adventure in your own way, O'Neill," a boyish voice chimed
+in; "and shame the cynics."
+
+We all glared at the First-year's man--who was making himself very
+much at home for a lad of his tender years--but as he had nothing
+more to say, we let him off with a look, and turned to the lethargic
+story-teller.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE GRAMMATICAL CARESS.
+
+A HAPPY CROWD.--INNOCENCE IN DANGER.--NEMESIS.--THE OUTCOME OF A
+REVOLUTION.
+
+
+"You saved life with that Boyton-Grammar of yours, if I catch the drift
+of your last remark?" interposed the Professor magniloquently, as if he
+were addressing a public meeting.
+
+"May I hazard the guess that Boyton on that occasion was rather a
+weapon of offence than of defence?"
+
+"Well, you're right," said O'Neill. "Offence is more in Boyton's line.
+And he certainly did press heavily, that day, on a butcher's boy. You
+remember those slagersjongens that saunter about, in white linen coats,
+with great protruding baskets on their shoulders. They jostle and push
+wherever they have a chance, and whirl round with their cargoes of
+meat, so as to make you start. You know the tribe. Well, Boyton proved
+an admirable corrective to the insolence of one of these imps.
+
+It was a day there was a sort of festival in the Hague.
+
+From early in the afternoon there was a crush everywhere. The singels
+and the main roads through the Wood were filled with holiday-makers.
+Soldiers were parading here and there. Everyone was in the best of good
+humour; music in the distance rose and fell on the air; flags fluttered
+from the windows. Look where you might, there were bright dresses,
+prancing horses, snorting motors, and pedestrians of all descriptions.
+
+I was one of the pedestrians.
+
+I had been at my grammar in the morning; and after a long spell in the
+house had stepped over to Enderby's, and coaxed that lazy fellow out
+for a stroll. It was perfect weather, and the crowds were wonderfully
+well-behaved. We enjoyed ourselves finely 'under the green-wood tree,'
+till we were brought to a stand-still in a dense mass of humanity that
+was packed along the edge of a canal, scarcely moving. A procession or
+something had impeded the traffic some moments.
+
+There was a knot of butchers' boys right in front of us. They were
+roughly shoving their neighbours about, and seeing what mischief they
+could do. Horse play, in fact. They didn't seem to fit into Boyton's
+categories, either of 'Natives intelligent' or 'polite'.
+
+Presently one brawny scoundrel began to throw stones at the occupants
+of a carriage that was slowly passing by.
+
+I couldn't believe my eyes!
+
+There sat an old lady of eighty or ninety, with soft white hair--the
+very picture of fragility; opposite her was a nurse in dark uniform, in
+charge of three dainty little children in pink and white--mere babies
+of three or four--with innocent blue eyes gazing all round them. And,
+actually, that ruffianly +knecht+ was about to bombard the group with
+whatever he had in his hand!
+
+Bang went a big mass of something--presumably hard, from the rattle it
+made--against the side of the carriage.
+
+Happily he was a poor marksman, that rascally slager; for at that short
+range he ought to have been able to demolish so fragile an old lady at
+the first shot, or at the very least have put out one eye.
+
+As it was, he only knocked off her bonnet.
+
+Enraged, apparently, at his poor practice at a practically stationary
+target so close at hand, he picked up another half-brick and wheeled,
+to take more deliberate aim.
+
+The delicate old lady grew pale, and spasmodically fumbled with her
+parasol to shield the children.
+
+I thought her eye caught mine; and, seeing there was no escape for her
+unless I interposed--no one till now seemed to have noticed the
+occurrence--I shouted, "+Stop, slager, stop+!" and whisked Boyton's
+learned pages right into his face, taking care at the same moment to
+administer a vigorous push to the long arm of the lever conveniently
+made by his basket.
+
+This forced him to revolve suddenly on his own axis--beefsteak and all;
+and, as he spun round, I accelerated his motion with a pat or two from
+the '+compendium+'. It was all the work of an instant, and executed
+just in time. The grammatical caress foiled his aim completely, and he
+flung his missile blindly in the wrong direction.
+
+As I slipped unostentatiously into the crowd out of the immediate
+neighbourhood of the discomfited marksman, I had the satisfaction of
+seeing the dear old lady recover colour and smile. The babies crowed
+with delight, and clapped their hands. They thought it was a game got
+up for their special benefit!
+
+I raised my hat and retired, a warm glow of self-approval in my breast,
+and on my lips an involuntary quotation from Boyton: "De spraakkunst is
+voor iedereen onmisbaar."
+
+Meantime the brickbat fell harmlessly on the back of a policeman who,
+with hands tightly clasped behind him, was studying a bed of scarlet
+geraniums.
+
+He never even turned, but only said "Ja, ja," over his shoulder!
+
+Two days after this adventure my eye caught the following paragraph
+among the advertisements in the Nieuwe Courant:
+
+
+                  "Stop, Slager, stop!"
+
+      The Baroness X. and her three grandchildren herewith beg
+      heartily to thank the young Englishman for his gallant
+      conduct in the Wood, on the 31st Ultimo.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+A GOSSIPY LETTER.
+
+O'NEILL AS A GUIDE.--MEN MANGLED HERE.--NOUN HUNGER.--KINDSCH
+GEWORDEN.--A ROMMEL.--HOME-MADE BERLITZ.--SPOORWEG BEPALINGEN.--THE
+GROOTE WATER-BAAS.--TWO THOUSAND NEW WORDS.
+
+
+"Don't talk any more about that grammar-book," I interposed. "It's all
+very well in its way, but it doesn't account for half Jack's adventures.
+Now I can let you into a secret. Please don't look so apprehensive,
+O'Neill! As it happens, I had a descriptive letter from Enderby just
+about the time that Jack was making the most brilliant progress with
+his Dutch vocabulary. It gave me a vivid picture of what was going on
+in the Hague when this linguist of ours got really started to work.
+
+Here are two of these long epistles. In the first he tells me all
+about the MacNamaras--Jack's cousins, you know--who came across from
+Kilkenny, for a trip to Holland. They were at the Oude Doelen when he
+wrote, and our friend Jack was posing as a great Dutch scholar and
+showing them the sights.
+
+        (From Enderby to Cuey-na-Gael)
+                                      Doelen Hotel,
+                                                   The Hague.
+
+My dear Cuey-na-Gael,
+
+You would be amazed to see the confidence with which O'Neill acts as
+guide to the MacNamaras.
+
+MacNamara +pere+ is mostly buried in museums, or is on the hunt for
+archaeological papers, so Kathleen and Terence are left on Jack's hands.
+
+He has been everywhere with them, and has evidently impressed them with
+his astounding Dutch. To them it seems both correct and fluent. They
+have only had three days of it as yet, and haven't had time to find him
+out. Kathleen is as haughty as ever; and I can see she chafes at being
+obliged to submit to the direction of a mere boy, as she regards Jack.
+
+She was furious the day before yesterday, when in passing through one
+of the back streets he asked her if she had ever noticed what the Dutch
+Government printed in front of the surgeries.
+
+She glanced up and, to her horror, read: "Hier mangelt men." It was
+only a momentary shock; she guessed soon enough what it meant; but it
+gave her a turn all the same. Perhaps it wasn't a very finished kind
+of joke, but she needn't have been quite so fierce about it.
+
+"You're cruel," she said, "cruel and heartless! Why even your dogmatic
+and intolerable chum, Mr. van Leeuwen wouldn't have been so harsh as
+that."
+
+Now it was that little speech of hers that suggested something to me.
+Was there ever anything between her and van Leeuwen? They were at the
+University about the same time, and it seems van Leeuwen was a great
+friend of the father, who had him down to his place in the country and
+showed him his manuscripts. But I believe Kathleen couldn't stand him.
+They used always to be arguing about the Suffragettes, and passed for
+official enemies, in a way,--at least as uncompromising leaders on
+opposite sides. She was fond of saying that van Leeuwen was a standing
+proof that mere learning couldn't enlarge the mind. Once in a private
+debate she referred to him as a "learned barbarian and a retrograde
+mediaevalist."
+
+She was called to order for it, of course; but her apology didn't
+amount to much. She said she wouldn't mind dropping the adjectives, but
+she would stick to the nouns.
+
+I believe van Leeuwen was quite content, however, and congratulated his
+witty antagonist on the fact that she would mellow with time.
+
+We always thought in those days they were sworn foes, and always would
+be. But I have a dim idea there is now more friendly interest on both
+sides. And, by the way, van Leeuwen has been carrying on brisk
+correspondence with O'Neill, especially since he heard the MacNamaras
+were expected. He has offered his services, and those of his motor, to
+all and sundry, especially if they hail from Dublin: so I don't think
+he can be keeping up very much of a grudge.
+
+But I was going to tell you about Jack.
+
+Lately I had noticed that his Dutch vocabulary was growing very rich.
+He seemed to have quite a hunger for nouns, and he used to ask the
+names of everything. But I have no idea of what he was up to. To day
+I'll find out and write you.
+
+Much haste. Yours as ever.
+                                                Enderby.
+
+
+(From Enderby to Cuey-na-Gael)
+
+Dear Cuey,
+
+I've just been at the Doelen Hotel--and the Macs are gone! Very sudden
+I must say. I suppose Kathleen has got tired of Holland; or is she
+trying to avoid van Leeuwen?
+
+You see MacNamara +mere+ had written me a friendly little note from
+Kilkenny, telling me that the Doctor--as she always calls her
+husband--had got a trifle absent-minded since his deafness became
+troublesome, and would I look him up occasionally during his stay in
+the Hague, and give him some advice about the Rhine.
+
+Well, when I reached Vieux Doelen, the birds were flown. Gone at six
+o'clock, I was told--the three of them--to Cologne! Quick work, I
+thought; so I made a bee-line for O'Neill's. He surely would know about
+this sudden departure.
+
+And in any case I wanted to get a glimpse of his new mysterious studies.
+
+Just fancy! The landlady met me at the door with tears in her eyes.
+
+"O Mijnheer, Mijnheer!" she exclaimed half-sobbing. "Ik vrees voor
+mijnheer O'Neill. Hij studeert te veel, of ik weet het niet--maar het
+is niet goed met hem. Ik geloof", and here her voice sank to a
+horrified whisper, "dat hij een beetje kindsch geworden is; want hij
+heeft speelgoed gekocht, en hij maak overal zoo een rommel."
+
+"Ja, juffrouw," I strove to explain, "Mijnheer studeert natuurlijk."
+
+But she persisted, "Oh mijnheer! studeeren is het niet. Hij ziet het
+scherm voor een kachel aan, en verknoeit alles. Ik ben zoo bang, zoo
+benauwd! Ik durf het huis niet uit, van Maandag af al!"
+
+Rather flustered by all this, I promised to call the doctor if it were
+necessary; then climbed up the stairs to O'Neill's door.
+
+All was still. I knocked and entered. What a sight met my eyes! Indeed
+it was enough to astonish more experienced people than the landlady.
+
+Neatly fastened on one side of the table was a model train, engine and
+all. Beside it was a toy house, with yard, garden, and stiff wooden
+trees. Then there was a bit of a doll's room with a kitchen stove. And
+verily to every one of these articles there was a label affixed.
+
+There sat the student, pen in hand, with a dictionary and a gum-bottle
+at his elbow. Snippets of paper littered his writing-desk and the floor
+around. His unfinished lunch (labelled too) looked down reproachfully
+from a pile of books built on the table.
+
+Over the gorgeous screen that hid the hearth a conspicuous card was
+hung, bearing the mystic inscription, "What ought to be here--Kachel."
+
+No wonder the careful hospita was upset. It would have been hard to say
+whether the apartment was more like a museum or an auction room.
+
+He glanced up with a sort of blush when I came near; but raised his
+hand to enjoin silence, as he found the word he was in search of, and
+wrote it down.
+
+Half expecting to see prices marked, I examined some of the labels.
+
+Nearly every thing had its Dutch name gummed on to it, such as 'spiegel
+lijst,' 'behangsel,' 'schotel of bakje,' and even on his sleeve 'mouw
+van mijn jas.'
+
+"It's all right!" he burst forth enthusiastically. "Doing Berlitz
+Dutch, you see! Self-taught, too! Splendid plan. Three hundred words
+a day. I'll have two thousand new nouns at my fingers' ends before the
+Macs are back from the Drachenfels. Precious few things in the ordinary
+way of life, I won't know then! Eh, what?"
+
+Then it dawned upon me he was getting up vocabulary.
+
+"Nouns, of course," he said. "All nouns. That's the secret. True basis
+of any language.
+
+"It's a discovery of my own. If you know the names of two or three
+thousand material things, you can never be at a loss. But I stick in a
+proverb, too, here and there, wherever it comes handy. See?"
+
+He held up the sleeve of his dressing-gown on which the candid
+announcement was made in bold round-hand: "Ik heb het achter de mouw",
+and pointed to his bread-knife, which was tastefully adorned with the
+words: "Het mes op de keel zetten."
+
+Yes, I saw.
+
+Well; then he explained, and argued, and tried to proselytize me. He
+was making hay while the sun shone--which meant that he was preparing,
+in the absence of Terence and Kathleen, for his famous cycling-tour;
+getting on his armour, in fact.
+
+In such spirits I had never seen him.
+
+And, I must say, he made out a good case for his method. It seems he
+had anticipated most of the queries he might be obliged to put during
+his travels. He had docketed every part of a railway carriage, and even
+mastered all sorts of regulations, from those of the Luxe-trein to
+Buurtverkeer, and from the yearly ticket to the humble perronkaartje.
+It looked very thorough, and I understood that he had treated his cycle
+the same way. But I have grave doubts! I am the more confirmed in my
+scepticism from what the landlady told me at the door. After reassuring
+her on the score of O'Neill's health, I emphasised the fact that he was
+going on a trip, and must practise Dutch by way of preparation.
+
+That was worse than all, she thought; as Mijnheer O'Neill would
+certainly come to harm. "Hij is zoo veranderd! He! Het is zoo eng."
+
+Yesterday he had asked her about the print of a sea-fight that her
+little boy had put up in the hall. She said it was de Ruyter; and began
+to expatiate on that hero's achievements.
+
+But he cut her short with: "Een beroemde man was hij zeker; misschien
+de grootste _water-baas_ van zijn tijd."
+
+I explained that he probably meant _zee-held_; but not remembering the
+right term in time, had taken one like it.
+
+But the landlady could not be pacified.
+
+"Het doet mij huiveren te denken dat hij op reis gaat!" she said.
+
+I was not without my apprehensions either. For he means to start out
+next week with two thousand new words.
+
+He'll probably find that such hastily acquired information is not
+without its drawbacks.
+
+But more again.
+                            Vale, vale.
+                                    As ever yours,
+                                               Phil Enderby.
+
+P. S. The Macs are gone to Bonn, where your uncle expects to find
+wonderful manuscripts. Not much fun for Kathleen though! And Terence
+will be bored to death. Why doesn't O'Neill bring him back to Holland
+and show him Amsterdam and other towns?
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+THE SURPRISES OF THE MAAS.
+
+FAIRYLAND.--IK KRIJSCH, IK FLUIT EN IK GIL.--POLYPHEMUS AND THE
+SEA-SERPENT.--CLOTHO.--GLOOM AND MYSTERY.--WHAT IS TREK?--THE SOCRATIC
+DIALOGUE.--A COSY TALK.--THE CHAT.--EVIDENCES OF HUNGER.
+
+
+"Well, well!" ejaculated O'Neill irritably. "What an inveterate old
+gossip Enderby is, to be sure!
+
+"Of course I got Terence back quite soon from Bonn, where he had
+nothing to do; and I gave him a splendid time sight-seeing in Haarlem
+and Amsterdam. I'll tell you about that, another time.
+
+But first about my run to Rotterdam, where I went one day for a little
+change I needed.
+
+The landlady was a bit peevish and hysterical, and, of course, very
+bothersome. She never quite took to the Berlitz method, as I had
+improved it; and she became grandmotherly to me from the moment I made
+that slip about the _zee-held_.
+
+The whole thing was getting on her nerves, so I gave her a rest. Took a
+day off, in fact; and went for a tour round the Rotterdam havens.
+
+I had some idea of recapitulating the old ground--the first thousand
+words, you know--whilst I should be steaming around the harbour. But as
+soon as we pushed off from the wharf and went skimming over the sun-lit
+Maas, the brilliant and animated scene wiped the new vocabulary clean
+out of my mind for the time-being; and I didn't feel at all inclined to
+dig it out of my notes.
+
+The marvellous colouring of everything held me spell-bound. It was like
+fairyland. Our boat was crowded, and a man on board pointed out the
+sights. That was the only Dutch study I got that day; for some one
+began to speak to me in English--an Amsterdammer, as it appeared, who
+told me that the grachten in Amsterdam surpassed every other spectacle
+the world had to show; and made me promise to go and see them as soon
+as I could.
+
+I asked him what he thought of the harbour we were in; but he wasn't so
+enthusiastic.
+
+Meantime it had grown darker, and a steady, cold, sea-fog drifted round
+us. It got dismally wet, as well as gloomy; and the deck dripped with
+clammy moisture. We were hardly moving, presently; and our captain kept
+the steam whistle hard at work. The sight-seers were grievously
+disappointed; and one fellow-victim informed me it would be a good
+thing if we got near land anywhere, in time to catch the last train.
+
+Horns kept booming around us, every few seconds; perky little tugs and
+immense black hulls swept by us at arm's length, piping or bellowing,
+according to their temperament and ability.
+
+The Amsterdammer and I had gone to the prow, to try and peer a little
+further into the dense curling vapour, when a siren--I think that's
+what you call the thing--gave such a sudden blood-curdling yell at our
+very elbow, it seemed as if we had trodden on the tail of the true and
+original Sea-serpent, and that the reptile was shrieking in agony.
+
+From that time on, we had sea-serpents every other minute--whole swarms
+of them--infuriated, inquisitive or resigned--soprano, alto, tenor;--all
+whining, hooting and snorting; every one trying to howl all the others
+down.
+
+Excuse my referring to it, but it was the best illustration I had yet
+got of Boyton's verbs.
+
+"Ik graauw, ik kef en ik kweel!" said one set of voices. "Ik krijsch,
+ik fluit en ik gil!" answered their rivals.
+
+But the deep boom of new-comers swept the earlier songsters out of the
+field: "Ik rammel, ik ratel en ik scheur". It was a regular chorus.
+
+"Ik gier en ik piep", squeaked the little tugs, "ik fop en ik jok".
+
+But the first musicians--the sentimental ones--wouldn't be outdone.
+They were evidently turning over their grammars very rapidly, to get
+a really melancholy selection, for in another moment their lugubrious
+snuffle pierced the fog like a knife: "Ik wee-ee-een; ik krijt; en ik
+hui-ui-ui-l-l!"
+
+There was one long-drawn-out sob, that rose and fell and rose again
+with such appalling and expressive anguish that I could have imagined
+half the Netherlands had turned into a gigantic sea-serpent, and had
+bitten off its own tongue. So human, too, was its tortured wail, that
+I instinctively thought of Polyphemus having his eye gouged out by
+Ulysses. The hero, you remember, did it with a burning pine. One has
+a horrible sympathy for Polyphemus, even though he is a monster and
+mythical.
+
+Happily our Polyphemus only gave two or three of his prize yells. Then
+he seemed to settle into sleep, away down the river somewhere.
+
+The Amsterdam-man explained to me that in his city the fog-horns were
+much more musical.
+
+This thesis was warmly contested by a Rotterdammer who had overheard
+it, and who spoke of the Capital with a distinct want of reverence.
+
+The argument soon deviated into Dutch, and I lost hold of it; but
+through a cloud of statistics and history I observed that local
+patriotism on both sides stood at fever heat.
+
+By and by, the fog thinned a little; and we crept along to a
+landing-stage, where the Amsterdammer and I climbed on shore with
+alacrity. We lost our way at first, and wandered about within earshot
+of the siren-brood, whooping and calling and taunting one another on
+the river; but my new-made friend stumbled at last on some spot he was
+acquainted with; and hastily giving me some directions, went off to his
+train.
+
+After the long Polyphemus-concert on the murky river I wasn't in much
+humour for Dutch, but I had to speak it at every corner to ask my way.
+
+In an open thoroughfare--there were some people about, but not
+many--near an archway, I came upon Clotho.
+
+Perhaps the Greek Mythology was running in my head: but there she sat.
+Old beyond words, but hale; wrapped up marvellously with head and jaws
+swathed in dim flannel, she gazed, without moving, on a table in front
+of her, spread with dried eels and other occult delicacies. As I
+approached, to enquire for the 'kortste weg naar de electrische tram',
+she didn't move a muscle. Something about her made me pause upon my
+step, and refrain from speech.
+
+No movement.
+
+But wait! One thickly muffled hand went out to some obscure eatable,
+slowly grasped it, dipped it in a sort of cup, then, still more slowly,
+brought it to her lips.
+
+Yes. She was alive; for she munched, calmly and dispassionately.
+
+The sight impressed me. It was like Fate; or an ancient priestess
+performing mysterious rites. Clotho would look like this, if Clotho
+would munch instead of spin.
+
+Meantime the inevitable butcher's boy had joined me. Two of them,
+indeed, stood at my side, curious to know what interested the
++vreemdeling+.
+
+The old lady never winced under the scrutiny, but put forth her hand
+again for another shell.
+
+There was a book-stall near, but nobody at it, as far as I could see.
+The whole street sounded hollow; and everything dripped. It made me
+shiver to look at the stone-pillars, oozy and moist, with condensed
+sea-fog trickling down. The glaring street-lamps hardly lit up the
+scene; but they showed the damp. Polyphemus gave a distant whoop, as if
+it were his last: and the Spectre munched. She hadn't once looked up.
+
+It all felt like a dream--except for the butchers' boys.
+
+"Wat doet ze--die oude mejuffrouw?" I enquired.
+
+"Ze zit te eten," was the prompt reply.
+
+"Waarom zit ze te eten daar?" I asked.
+
+"Om dat ze trek heeft!"
+
+A snigger went round the company. Evidently that reply was of the
+nature of wit; and they expected something sparkling from me in return.
+
++But+ I couldn't sparkle.
+
+"+Trek+" was unknown to me. Strange, how you can be bowled over by
+a simple word, if you've never heard it. Trekken--trok--getrokken,
+was familiar. That meant 'to pull,' 'draw,' or 'wander'.
+"Trekschuit"--"trekpot"--"trekvogel"; I had them all labelled on my
+desk in the Hague. But "trek" itself, what was that exactly? Provided
+of course, the youth were grammatical,--which I very much doubted.
+
+"Zij heeft getrokken," however, when I tried it, only raised new
+difficulties. +What+ then did she pull, and +why+?
+
+'Trekvogel' was an alluring idea to follow up, in a town where Jan
+Olieslagers' fame was universal: but common sense forbade my pursuing
+that line far.
+
+The defects of my home-made Berlitz became painfully evident. It's
+humiliating, when you have your 2000 new nouns at your fingers' ends,
+and hundreds of old ones; and yet can't understand the first thing a
++knecht+ says.
+
+But the bystanders were growing impatient; so--to withdraw gracefully--I
+enquired, "wat is _trek_?"
+
+It was probably the best retort I could have made. "Ja, wat is het?" he
+soliloquised, evidently puzzled, "Ik weet het niet. Maar ik heb altijd
+trek."
+
+"Ik ook", said a smaller boy; "in een boterham."
+
+Tongues were loosened on all sides. "Nee; in een lekker stuk worst,"
+I heard one say.
+
+"Nee; niet waar"; interrupted a brawny fellow with a brick-red face;
+"Zuurkool en spek."
+
+I nipped the unprofitable discussion in the bud by demanding, as I
+moved away: "Maar wat _is_ trek?"
+
+"Dat weet je wel," said the first fellow, the wit. "Als je te veel eet."
+
+"Nee, heelemaal niet," jeered a late-comer. "Kan je begrijpen! Maar als
+je +niets+ eet, +dan+ heb je trek!"
+
+The crowd cheered at this. He had evidently the majority with him. High
+words followed; and the controversy became general, as the protagonists
+in this psychological debate found backers, and swarmed away towards
+the centre of town.
+
+I was left alone, and Clotho looked up.
+
+She dipped a periwinkle in one of the weird cups, and held it towards
+me.
+
+"Heeft Mijnheer trek?" Would I join in the repast!
+
+"Ik? Duizendmaal verschooning!" I said, as I quickened my pace in rapid
+retreat.
+
+My confusion increased as I reflected that I had probably been urging
+my late interlocutors to "define appetite"--a thing even Aristotle could
+hardly do. Naturally the populace broke into parties--Aristotelians and
+Platonists (let us say), or into Hoekschen en Kabeljauwschen.
+
+In any case my confidence was shaken in my improved, home-made Berlitz.
+It might be splendid for travelling; but in ordinary life it didn't
+seem to cover the ground.
+
+On arriving at my lodgings I was met at the door by the landlady's son.
+He was beaming. Lately he had been working up his English, and truly
+had made giant strides.
+
+"Koot eeffening, Sir," he said; "Koot eeffening! Ai hef an little chat."
+"+I wish to have a chat+", he _seemed_ to mean.
+
+It was an odd request for a trifling practice in English; but I like to
+encourage merit, so I assured him of my willingness to have a friendly
+talk.
+
+"Oh, yes. All right," I said. "But won't you come up stairs? We have a
+few minutes before supper."
+
+"But--Ai hef +here+ an naiz little chat!"
+
+"Ah, just so. Did you perhaps have a talk with some one in English when
+I was away?"
+
+"No, sir; but ai _hef_ een chat."
+
+This was bewildering; and as he seemed puzzled, too, and always stuck
+to the same noun I investigated more fully.
+
+"You talk of a _chat_!--dat is een praatje, weet je wel?"
+
+"Nee, mijnheer, heus: het is waar. Geen praatje."
+
+We were half-way up the stairs now. "Come on", I said.
+
+"Vayt", he replied, diving into some recess. "Ai vil let see you."
+
+In an instant he was back with something under his coat. This he
+produced with the delighted exclamation: "ze little chat!"
+
+It was a bedraggled kitten that he had discovered wandering about in
+the fog and mewing piteously. "Vil you hef him? Anders, zegt moe, hij
+kan niet blijven."
+
+"I'll talk to your mother about the kitten," I answered.
+"Kitten,--that's what we call it--not chat. Maar hoor eens, jongen,
+heeft het poesje trek?"
+
+"O mijnheer, verbazend!" was the ecstatic reply; and in another three
+minutes he had a saucer of milk under the foundling's nose, and was
+watching kitty's lapping operations with a joy as keen as that of kitty
+herself.
+
+I had got what I wanted without any philosophic argument. There was the
+proof.
+
+_Trek_ is _appetite_.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+THE THUNDERSTORM.
+
+THE NORTH SEA COAST.--AN EXQUISITE DAWN.--A MORNING WALK.--BY THE
+SUMMER SEA.--LOST IN THE DUNES.--NO FOOD FOR SALE.--AN ORDINARY
+BAKER.--THE BROKEN SIESTA.--WOU JE ETEN?--BETAALD ZETTEN.--YOU DON'T
+QUITE FOLLOW.--REPARTEE UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
+
+
+I must tell you about that great walk we took from Leyden to Haarlem.
+That was just after Terence came back from Germany, wearied with waiting
+till his learned Dad would cease pottering about the museums in Bonn.
+
+He wrote to van Leeuwen in Arnhem; and urged that youth use his
+influence with the University Librarian to let Dr. MacNamara see the
+Irish manuscripts he was so keen upon. Then, if you please, my brave
+Terence thought his duties were over, as far as helping his father was
+concerned. Taking the next train for the Hague he turned up unexpectedly
+at my lodgings.
+
+That was at six in the morning, and he banged at my bedroom door till
+I was awake.
+
+"I'm back," he said: "And I'm going to carry you off on that famous
+bicycle tour of yours. Hurry up with all those papers and preparations
+and things,--and I'll be round with my bike in no time!"
+
+"Well!" I shouted through the closed door, "you may come as soon as ever
+you like; but there'll be no bicycle tour to-day. I'm not nearly ready
+yet. I've all the nouns from T to Z to learn yet; and it'll take me
+another week. Catch me leaving this neighbourhood without those nouns!
+No, my boy. But I'll take a tramp with you to the seaside, if you like."
+
+He didn't wait for my explanations but pranced off grumbling, and I
+didn't see him till noon. He was then quite willing to fall in with my
+project of a long walk--first by the strand to Noordwijk, then inland
+through the dunes, and so on to Haarlem.
+
+We only got as far as Noordwijk that evening. After a heavy miserable
+trudge by the shore, and mostly through loose sand, we were glad enough
+to put up at Huis-ter-Duin for the night. The sunset, magnificent
+though it was, could hardly banish the deep sleepiness that seized us.
+Terence, who was in better training than I, sat up smoking a while, but
+I heard him go off to his room before I fell over. All the music,
+laughter, and talk about the place, never in the slightest degree
+disturbed our slumber.
+
+I slept like a log, and awoke early, with the sound of the sea in my
+ears. It was a softly modulated, gentle murmur that seemed to call me;
+and when I looked out, the view was superb. Deep blue, almost indigo in
+hue, and calm as oil, the waves stood high on the sands. Every now and
+then a long, knife-like billow would slowly rise up for half-a-mile or
+so, poise itself for an instant, and then fall with a mighty flap, like
+a wall of slate. Away out towards the horizon the ocean gleamed a
+fairy-like blue and opal; but close at hand it had a deep, menacing
+tint that took your breath away. And all the time those slatey ledges
+of water kept languidly lifting themselves and suddenly dropping, as
+if they were alive.
+
+When I opened the window, a cool wind softly stole in--like some subtle
+elixir. I looked at my watch. It was half past four. Fired with the
+idea of having a tramp by that mysterious light, I went off and roused
+Terence--happily without terrifying the other inmates of the hotel. He
+was willing to make an early start if I could secure him enough
+breakfast.
+
+This required some diplomacy. Suddenly encountering a _knecht_ prowling
+about and collecting boots, I tried to communicate our plans to him,
+and gain his sympathy. No idiom, however, that I was acquainted with
+was equal to this strain: so I had recourse to the language of gesture
+and the display of coin. This at last induced him to bring us part of
+his own modest breakfast--a chunk of black bread and a hard-boiled
+egg--and to let us out by the front door.
+
+He kept our bags, however, and a bankbiljet, to settle the rekening
+provisionally, and as an evidence of good faith. It was a fussy business
+getting him to agree even to this, and in consequence I quite forgot
+about my dictionary and "walking-tour notes"--which were strapped up
+in the bag.
+
+Indeed, I didn't notice the neglect till we were far away from the
+hotel. But there was no Dutch needed for a long time.
+
+It was an exhilarating experience to go careering along by that weird,
+threatening sea in the fresh morning air. The scent of herbs and
+wild-flowers on the dunes greeted us when we took a turn inland: and
+the colours of everything around us kept changing with incredible
+swiftness.
+
+At first we couldn't keep our eyes off the mirror-like expanse of
+water. Its slate became steel-blue--the steel-blue deepened into purple
+shading off into amethyst, while the sky and the air all about us grew
+rosy, then saffron, then silver.
+
+Over and across the rolling hills we trudged, our spirits rising every
+instant. Why shouldn't we keep on till we got opposite Haarlem, then
+strike off east, do that city, and return by rail? Why not indeed?
+Huis-ter-Duin and its slippered knecht could settle the matter of the
+rekening and the change, by post; and we should make a day of it!
+
+So we climbed up and down along the edge of the grassy slopes, till the
+tide retired from the sands a little. There we had a delightful hour,
+along the firm damp shore. It grew sultry after a while; yet it was
+only a quarter to eight. There would be more heat yet! Alternately we
+tried the dunes and the beach--the beach and the dunes--but there was
+no shelter from the sun; and the pleasant wind had died down. After an
+other couple of hours' toil through the hot, loose sand we decided we
+had enough of the coast for the day, and followed a kind of winding
+path inland. This was a regular cart-track at first, and promised to
+lead us to some thriving village where we could have a rest. But it
+didn't. It twined round a score of scattered potatoe plots, and then
+came to an abrupt and ignominious end against a wire fence, on the top
+of a hill. No doubt we ought to have gone back and kept along the shore.
+But we were too hungry to think of returning to the desolation we had
+left. What we wanted was to see houses as soon as possible--houses
+containing eatables and cool rooms and chairs. Besides, we were as yet
+pretty confident of our geographical whereabouts; accordingly we pushed
+on for Haarlem--as we thought.
+
+Well, it was a great mistake! The map makes the dunes only a few miles
+broad at most, yet we climbed up and down for hours, and couldn't get
+clear of them.
+
+Once we saw a fisherman at a distance and we yelled to him. He answered
+"terug" very faintly, and waved both arms. We hurried to meet him, but
+not a trace of him was to be found. Though the heat was intense, after
+a while shimmery haze began to spread over the sky, and there came a
+sudden change. It got dark and cold; and the storm that had been
+threatening all day burst on us with fury. In two or three minutes we
+were drenched. There was a marvellous display of sheet lightning so
+curious and varied that for a while it diverted our attention from our
+miserable plight, as we stumbled on over soaked hillocks and sand. We
+had a good hour of this.
+
+In a dismal grove of non-descript-shrubs, we at last stumbled upon a
+trifling shelter, just as the rain was ceasing; and there we shivered
+like aspens, till the truth dawned upon us that there was a faint sound
+of human voices over the slope. "Hurrah!" we shouted. "Relief at
+last--and a chance of something to eat!"
+
+Stiff and dripping though we were, we positively bounded over the sand
+hill.
+
+Two or three small one-storied cottages came soon into view. Rushing
+into the first--it looked like a shop, and had the words _garen en
+band_ over the window--we demanded pointedly if we could get food. The
+youngish woman who ambled slowly to and fro behind the counter, said
+she had no coffee or bread for us, but we could get these things in
+Haarlem. There was a good restaurant there.
+
+"Geen ei?" I asked.
+
+No; not even an egg for sale.
+
+Very disappointed we retired, still dripping, and gloomier than ever;
+but as we left the winkel I espied a group of schoolchildren, with
+capes round their heads, dancing along merrily hand in hand. They were
+evidently coming from school. Such bright blue eyes, such plump and
+rosy cheeks suggested that food was plentiful wherever they lived.
+There must be a butcher and a baker near, I concluded; and by a happy
+inspiration I turned back to the depressing _garen en band_ shop, and
+enquired where the local baker was to be found.
+
+"Is er een baker hier?" I enquired politely of the lethargic juffrouw.
+
+She woke up immediately. "Ja, zeker!" was the prompt reply. "Net
+gisteren thuis gekomen!"
+
+This was all right, of course. Why does he come home and go away, I
+wondered. But, after all, that was a small matter. He was at home now.
+A peripatetic baker, perhaps, might be some very special and clever
+artist in pies and tarts and rich cake--and it was the humble, ordinary
+baker that we were in search of. I stated this. "Geen banket baker is
+noodig, juffrouw!" I explained. "Een gewonen baker bedoel ik--een
+gewonen alledaagschen baker. Bestaat er een hier?"
+
+She had meantime summoned two young men from a sort of den behind the
+shop, and now communicated my wishes to them with an interest and an
+animation that I hadn't expected. They led us rapidly half a mile
+across fields, and then up a little lane. The last few yards were done
+in good record time, I should say.
+
+This sympathetic promptitude we highly appreciated, as we felt now more
+and more famished, the nearer we approached provisions. We reached the
+baker's house breathless, and were ushered panting into a kind of
+waiting room. At least you couldn't call it a shop exactly.
+
+When the baker came into this apartment (by the way it was a woman,
+that turned up--a portly and middle-aged woman) we noticed that she was
+rather dishevelled, as if just awakened from a much needed siesta. I
+was sorry, but not surprised. Bakers are often that way, you know. They
+bake during the night, and sleep during the day. Thus they are rather
+drowsy and cross, if you wake them up. She looked both. There was a
+portentous frown upon her brow; and really, she seemed somewhat of the
+virago type. That made me doubly polite.
+
+"Duizendmaal vergiffenis, banketbaker!" I apologised with my best bow.
+"Het spijt mij geweldig.--Maar zult gij zoo goed willen zijn--?"
+
+"Ja ja!" she interrupted impatiently; "Waar? Heb je een rijtuig?"
+
+"Een rijtuig?" I exclaimed in bewilderment. "Nee. Ik heb geen rijtuig.
+Maar mag ik u beleefd verzoeken of U zoo goed--."
+
+"Ja, ja! Is er haast bij?" She broke in again.
+
+"Wel zeker!" I replied courteously, "Veel haast. Wij zijn verbazend
+hongerig."
+
+But she was gone, and hadn't heard the last remark. In a moment or two
+she reappeared, fully dressed, tying the strings of her bonnet.
+
+As I waited a second before repeating my request, she grew most
+unreasonably irritable, and actually stamped her foot, exclaiming
+disrespectfully: "Gaauw nouw! gaauw een beetje."
+
+"Ja baker!" I answered. "Wilt gij zoo goed zijn, twee boterhammetjes en
+twee glaasjes melk te brengen?"
+
+She stopped titivating herself at the mirror, and turning round groaned
+in a voice of horror: "Wou je eten?"
+
+"Ja," I contrived to put in, as politely as I could; "als U zoo goed
+wilt zijn."
+
+"Maar schaam jullie niet? bent jullie kinderen dat je nouw om een
+boterham moet vragen?"
+
+It was plain she was a good deal ruffled. Accordingly to appease and
+conciliate her I smiled again, and said deferentially: "Het heeft niets
+te beduiden. Wij moeten een heel klein boterhammetje gebruiken. Een
+sneedje brood zonder iets--dat is ook goed."
+
+She seemed stunned by this harmless announcement; and I deemed it
+prudent to offer her a bribe of some kind. The simplest plan was to
+promise to pay her well for any trifle we took.
+
+"Het is een kleinigheid," I told her--"niets dan een kleinigheid. Maar
+ik zal het je betaald zetten."
+
+That loosened her tongue. Her natural fluency asserted itself and
+appeared to fine advantage. But she was so needlessly excited that I
+knew there must be a misunderstanding somewhere. Accordingly to remove
+all haziness I just indicated that she had failed to grasp my meaning.
+The idiom for this I fortunately recollected. _You don't quite follow_
+was one of those choice specimens of local colour that, by frequent
+repetition, I had thoroughly imprinted on my memory.
+
+"Duizendmaal verschooning," I said heartily, "bent U soms niet goed
+snik?"
+
+The effect of this well meant apology was electrical. The woman really
+became very rude. She got pale and grabbed at a chair. As we withdrew
+unostentatiously, we noticed her springing in our direction and talking.
+It was the most fluent talk I had yet heard in Dutch. She did not
+hesitate one instant for gender, number, or case. It rained, hailed and
+stormed terrible words--werkwoorden, voorzetsels, and especially
+tusschenwerpsels.
+
+Terence and I ran.
+
+On reaching safety outside Terence asked me: "What was she angry about?"
+
+"Oh," I answered, "as likely as not it's something out of the grammar. I
+believe I didn't use the right idiom. You have to be very particular
+about these things, you see.
+
+I said vragen _voor_ een boterham, I think; and it should be vragen
+_om_. Still she made far too big a fuss over it: and I'd tell her so, if
+I could."
+
+When we got outside of her garden plot and had latched the gate behind
+us, I turned to wave our grammarian a graceful adieu.
+
+"Baker!" I said. "Banket baker! Wees niet zoo kleinzeerig. Niet zoo
+kwaalijknemend hoor! Wij zijn niet tegen je opgewassen. Maar",--and
+here I sank my voice to a confidential whisper, to make the irrelevancy
+sound as like wit as possible,--"maar, U weet nooit hoe een koe een
+haas vangt!"
+
+I still flatter myself that the exit was worthy of the occasion.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+THE DEVOTED NURSE.
+
+AN ACCIDENT.--THE SUITOR'S MISTAKE.--NO DUTCH NEEDED.--JAN'S
+INCOHERENCES.--EEN STUK OF EEN.--KITTY GIVES KOPJES.--A QUIET SLEEP.
+
+
+"Wel," continued Jack; "it was these experiences that made me begin to
+doubt the value of my Berlitz soliloquy-method. But Terence helped me
+to give the system a really good trial; and he worked as hard as I did.
+
+It was quite different with Kathleen. When she came back from Germany,
+she was keen on art, but apparently had been moping about something.
+And she refused to study any more Dutch.
+
+That was before the accident, you see. After that, she was quite angelic
+and nursed her father assiduously, and the landlady's little son, too.
+
+You know, of course, that uncle got a severe shock from a motor-bike
+along the canal. Jan who had been prowling around, to give his "chat"
+an airing, ran across just in time to push the absent-minded old
+gentleman out of the way. But the lad was thrown on the ground and
+badly hurt. Uncle pulled round soon enough--his indignation at the
+motor cyclist helped him, as he had some vague idea, if he were up and
+about, he could get the culprit arrested. But Jan grew steadily worse
+for the first week. The violent fall and the bruise were both very bad
+for the plucky youngster.
+
+Kathleen kept going back and forward, looking after the sufferers. She
+said she never could repay Jan enough for saving her father's life. It
+appears to have been a 'close shave', at the edge of that deep canal;
+and Uncle nearly had them all in.
+
+As a matter of fact, he had spent the morning with me, telling me about
+his grand 'find' of original Celtic manuscripts in Germany, and about
+van Leeuwen's kindness. I never saw him so taken with anybody! In Bonn
+he had got wind of these precious Celtic relics; and, as everything
+was closed at the University at that time of the year, he worried
+and fumed, till he met some of the authorities that knew van Leeuwen.
+Immediately he had banged off a telegram to Arnhem, requesting van
+Leeuwen's private influence; and, to his delight, that young man came
+joyfully in person. Of course he would! It was too good a chance to be
+missed. Indeed it was just the opportunity he wanted. And yet he and
+Kathleen quarrelled fiercely over trifles all the time.
+
+But I was telling you about my uncle's escape. It seems he was ambling
+along in his usual oblivious style, on the sunny side of the street,
+when he stopped (no doubt painfully near the edge of the canal) to
+note down something that occurred to him for his book. Just then a
+motor-cycle turned the corner at a fiendish speed, and was nearly over
+him. Uncle is the most helpless of mortals at such times--and he was
+stepping hurriedly into the canal, when Jan bounded across the road
+and pulled him right.
+
+The bike-tourist must have been a heartless fellow; for he never
+swerved, but bore down at full tilt on both rescuer and rescued, while
+they were still on the edge of the water.
+
+The youthful Jan, however, is both original and daring; for he turned
+the motor man aside as cleverly as if he had Boyton in his hand.
+
+He either flung himself or his cap against the advancing horror.
+Terence says it was the kitten he threw. In any case the little fellow
+did, as a last resource, try to protect both his dear kitty and the
+Engelschen Mijnheer, at some risk to himself. The "chat" was unharmed,
+but fled up an adjacent elm, whence it had to be coaxed down at dusk
+with endless saucerfuls of milk.
+
+This task Kathleen took on herself, after we discovered that Dr.
+MacNamara, though shaken, was not injured. Nothing would have pleased
+you better than to have seen her beaming face as she brought the
+trembling little kitty to Jan's bedside. She didn't know a word of
+Dutch; but managed to communicate quite easily, by signs, with Jan's
+mother, whom she promised to come often and see.
+
+We all assumed, at first, that the little fellow had escaped scot-free;
+but, in a day or two, he was in high fever, and unconscious. He had got
+a contusion, the doctor said, and would be confined to his cot for
+weeks.
+
+It was marvellous to see how Kathleen comforted the poor mother,
+without either grammar, Polite Dialogue, or the use of Het.
+
+I grew quite jealous and envious. Here was I who had been slaving at
+syntax and accidence for weeks, and I couldn't carry on an intelligent
+conversation for two minutes without deviating into metaphysics, or
+getting into a quarrel; while my cousin (who said she hated Dutch)
+could get through the niceties of sick-room nursing, and the subtleties
+of heartening up the poor hysterical mother, with the utmost ease and
+success.
+
+And I knew for certain that she couldn't go through the Present
+Optative of 'ik graauw, ik kef en ik kweel', or give one of the rules
+for gij (lieden)--no, not to save her life. But she was never at a
+loss, for all that. A more devoted nurse, indeed, I cannot imagine.
+
+At the crisis, when the little sufferer was really in danger, she used
+to watch by him hours at a stretch, to relieve the helpless mother.
+
+The serious turn came all at once; and no aid was at hand. Jan was in
+pain, and wandered in his talk, crying out that the motor-fiets was
+hunting him into the canal, for having rescued a +vreemdeling+; and
+pouring forth such a torrent of elementary English and Boyton-Dutch as
+surprised us all.
+
+I fancy it was, in part, my early translations he had treasured up; for
+some of my mistakes about handcuffs and dogcollars figured amid the
+incoherences; and it was pitiable to hear him plead for a +zie beneden+
+to wrap round his injured arm--already bandaged as tightly as he could
+bear it.
+
+Then he kept ringing the changes on an expression I must have used in
+argument with his mother the day I persuaded her to keep his bedraggled
+foundling.
+
+"Het is geen menigte poesjes, zegt Mijnheer; het is maar een stuk of
+een. Heus, moe, laat hem blijven. Niet bang, hoor, schattie, je bent
+maar een stuk of een! Pas op, Mijnheer, daar komt de fiets!" And so on
++da capo+.
+
+So wild and restless was he, the second evening of the fever, that we
+had to summon the doctor unexpectedly, quite late.
+
+Yes; his condition was disquieting, and we must get him to sleep. It
+was largely a matter of nursing, at the moment; new medicine was sent
+for; his head was to be kept cool; and only one watcher was to remain
+in the room. Above all, no noise. If the English juffrouw, who seemed
+to understand the lad's state, would consent to sit up to two or three
+o'clock, so much the better. The excited mother could have a rest
+meantime. Otherwise she would be fit for nothing next day.
+
+But no sooner had the good doctor softly closed the front door, than my
+landlady declared it was her intention to watch all night.
+
+Kathleen was at her wits' end. In vain did she make signs and talk
+emphatic English in her high voice, or try coaxing with a bit of the
+brogue. All her feminine free-masonry failed to communicate the
+faintest idea to the mother.
+
+Uncle MacNamara, who had been waiting to take his daughter back to the
+Doelen, tried moral suasion in his own particular brand of German, and
+even in other tongues.--Terence says his father recited a well-known
+passage from the Iliad in his eagerness to be persuasive!--But all
+without avail. She wouldn't heed anybody; and she wouldn't go; she sat
+close to the cot, rocking violently to and fro, and moaning "Mijn eigen
+kind! mijn eigen kind!"
+
+The little fevered face was puckered with a new perplexity at the sound
+of all this grief and the familiar voice.
+
+"Moeder," he cried, "moederr! Daar komt ie weer! Hij wou me in 't water
+gooien. Moeder, vasthoue, hoor!"
+
+It was most painful; for my landlady's impending hysterics were making
+the lad worse every moment.
+
+"Is poesje ook weggeloopen?" he said presently. A happy thought struck
+Kathleen. She stole downstairs, and presently returned with the 'chat',
+which was purring vigorously and giving 'kopjes'.
+
+As she placed the soft furry creature in Jan's hands, he stopped
+moaning and stroked it joyfully. "Dag, Kitty!" he said with delight.
+"Ben je terug?"
+
+Apparently he thought it was I who had restored the wanderer, for he
+explained: "Geen praatje, mijnheer: Zat is mine naiz litle chat."
+
+Then, exhausted and satisfied, he dropped into a sound sleep.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+GOSSIP AND DIPLOMACY.
+
+THE DISCOURAGED SUITOR.--WILL KATHLEEN STUDY DUTCH?--AN INTERESTING
+COACH.--THE DIPLOMATIC EPISTLE.--THE BRINK OF A ROMANCE.--WELL EARNED
+REPOSE.
+
+
+The strain was over; and the little lad slumbered peacefully,--until
+dawn, as it proved. We got the mother gradually quieted, and at last
+induced to go off to bed, leaving Kathleen in charge for the night.
+About half-past-one, Terence and I, growing hungry, extemporised a sort
+of pic-nic in the kitchen; but Kathleen wouldn't touch anything we
+brought her.
+
+It was then I began to notice how grave she was, and silent.
+
+But I must say, nobody could be more devoted than she was to the
+youthful invalid.
+
+He awoke rather early after his timely sleep, but much calmer. And--a
+good sign--he had a healthy 'trek', which we were gratified to see in
+operation upon 'beschuit' and 'melk', before his mother arrived to
+resume the reins of authority.
+
+As we escorted Kathleen to her hotel in the cool of the morning, we
+found her singularly irresponsive, not to say depressed; and I somehow
+got wind of the fact that van Leeuwen, who had motored up to the Hague,
+on hearing of her father's accident, had been prowling about the Vieux
+Doelen ever since. He had visited Dr. MacNamara almost every day; but
+Kathleen had kept studiously aloof.
+
+"I know he likes father," she said, "and I'm glad he came so often to
+see him. Not very interesting, otherwise! In any case he has suddenly
+vanished into space!"
+
+The evening before, when she was on her way to my landlady's to watch by
+the sick boy, van Leeuwen had met her right in front of the Mauritshuis.
+But she had treated him with such stately indifference, and greeted his
+remarks with such frigid courtesy, that the good-natured fellow was
+really hurt. He had in fact returned the same evening to Arnhem.
+
+Kathleen said she was very glad, except for her father's sake. But she
+didn't give one the impression of being enthusiastic about it, and I
+drew my own conclusions.
+
+On reaching the Doelen, we found a hasty scrawl from the very man we
+had been talking of--van Leeuwen--inviting Terence and myself to a
+cycling tour in his neighbourhood.
+
+"Well, then, I'll go next Friday," Terence broke out; "at least, if
+you're ready then, Jack. We'll have a grand time. Dad is all right now;
+and that funny little kid is on the mend. So we can go with a clear
+conscience. Say, yes."
+
+"Ah, that's like you boys", said Kathleen banteringly, but without the
+ghost of a smile, "to go cycling about, enjoying yourselves, no matter
+what happens to others! I'm still anxious about that child. And I do
+wish I understood him better when he talks."
+
+"As for that", I interrupted, "I'll give you the key to it, in an
+instant. Jan's reminiscences are all about my Dutch. Well, I'll lend
+you my diary, and the most entertaining Grammar in Holland. Besides,
+I've written a monograph on obvious blunders, English into Dutch. Read
+these, now, when you're tending this convalescent boy-hero of yours.
+He'll understand them, I'll be bound; and it'll shake him up, and do
+you a world of good yourself."
+
+"What a silly cousin, to be sure!" she replied. "You forget, sir, I
+need some one to explain all your double-Dutch. Get me a 'coach' now,
+a competent one, who knows everything, and I'll give your booklet a
+trial."
+
+"Done!" I said, as we parted.
+
+And I held her to it. My diary kept her amused for a couple of days, as
+she watched in the sick-room. It roused her out of her depression, and
+she got into the way of reading things to Jan as he recovered.
+
+She couldn't remain quite smileless; but grew interested enough in
+Dutch to demand my monograph and--above all--the Grammar!
+
+"You shall have them both," I assured her,--"the booklet on the spot;
+and the Grammar, when I get as far as Arnhem and don't need to use it
+for a while."
+
+"Couldn't I have it sooner? I'm dying with curiosity to see that awful
+book. Or, when you are there, and any of your friends are coming to the
+Hague, just send it with them."
+
+"Yes. There's a 'coach' coming up in a day or two. I'll send it along."
+
+I fancied her eyes gave a bit of a flicker. But she was meek and
+friendly: so I knew it was all right. She hadn't asked what kind of
+coach. But she's intelligent.
+
+That very instant I went home and wrote van Leeuwen that we--Terence
+and I--were starting next day, by train, for Arnhem, whence we should
+have a run through Gelderland.
+
+There was no note-paper in the house, but I couldn't wait. So I a
+penned what I had to say on a series of visiting cards,--numbering
+them: 1, 2, 3 up to 10, and enclosing them in a portly yellow envelope.
+It was the only thing I had. I was pleased to notice its impressive
+aspect, as that would prevent its getting lost readily.
+
+For I attached much importance to that communication.
+
+In it I prepared van Leeuwen's mind, indirectly and circuitously, for
+apprehending the idea that Miss MacNamara was now deeply interested in
+Dutch; and was studying it to help her in nursing that sick boy. Also
+that, as she had grown much too sombre of late with the responsibilities
+she had assumed, we were trying to brighten her up. When the lad was
+quite well, we should all do the Friesland meres, before we returned
+to Kilkenny. But not for a while yet.
+
+And so on. I hinted as distantly as I could, that he had motored back to
+Arnhem a trifle too soon. We were _all_ sorry he had left so suddenly.
+Even yet, if he would leave his camera at home--the one with the loud
+click--and if he wouldn't be too exclusively immersed in Celtic
+manuscripts, and avoided arguing about the Suffragettes, when he did
+meet with the MacNamara family, there was no reason to suppose that his
+offences were beyond pardon. All this in shadowy outline--for fear he
+would motor up like a Fury, and either break his neck on the way, or
+spoil everything by premature action.
+
+I made the haze quite thick, here and there, on the visiting
+cards--their form lent itself to obscurity--and I told him I should
+see him without fail within twenty-four hours.
+
+"I might have to ask a favour at his hands about a grammar.
+
+Terence was well: the Doctor was well, went to Leyden daily to the
+Library. We expected to reach Velperweg toward midday. Don't be out."
+
+I posted the yellow missive with my own hands, and reckoned out by the
+'bus-lichting' plate, that it would be collected that night.
+
+"Tour or no tour, to-morrow," I said to myself, heaving a sigh of
+relief, after my race to the pillar-box; "We're on the brink of a
+romance, if the protagonists only knew it. A little bad Dutch now seems
+all that is required. And we can rely on Boyton."
+
+Queer, when you think of it, that you sometimes hold people's destinies
+in the hollow of your hand!
+
+However, I didn't philosophise much, but got to sleep as soon as ever I
+could,--content as from a good day's work.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+A STUDY IN CHARACTER.
+
+AN UNWELCOME INTERRUPTION.--THE LINGUIST AND THE SATELLITE.--THE
+BACKSLIDER.--DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?--HE MEANS THE EAST END.--WAKE UP,
+JOHN BULL.--GOUDA HISTORICAL.--FOREIGNERS DON'T GET THE HANG OF IT.--A
+CONFIDENT YOUNGSTER.--AN ENGLISH UNCLE FOR CLAAS.--DRAM-DRINKING AT
+EIGHT?--WUIF ES, OOM!--HIS BARK IS WORSE THAN HIS BITE.
+
+
+Next morning we were up at dawn to be in time for the first express. We
+cycled to the station; but a row of market-boats, that had reached the
+one and only canal-bridge on our route, kept us waiting till they filed
+past; and we missed our train.
+
+"Choost kon!" exclaimed a porter cheerfully, as he took our cycles.
+"Day-train choost away--von--two--meenit--ako!"
+
+"Never mind", I rejoined. "There are plenty of day-trains left. It's
+early yet."
+
+As he looked doubtful, I added in the vernacular: "Wij zijn in goeje
+tijd voor den bommel; nie-waar? Zes vier en veertig."
+
+"Net, mijnheer", he replied, grinning appreciation of my Dutch, as he
+led the way to the +loket+.
+
+There were no difficulties there. You merely had to say. "Twee enkele
+reis, Arnhem. Tweede klasse. Gewone biljetten," and there you were. And
+these '+gewone biljetten+' made the forwarding of the cycles simplicity
+itself.
+
+Duly provided with the forthcoming +fiets-papiertjes+ we ensconced
+ourselves in a non-smoker, and--to while away the time--rehearsed our
+Traveller's Dialogue. That is the system I had made out long since, but
+now partly forgotten. Terence had benefited by my tuition, and could
+now keep the ball rolling, with more or less relevant remarks, whilst
+I enumerated the parts of a train, and talked about tickets and towns.
+
+So smoothly did our conversation run that we were tempted to repeat
+it with variations; and we were just in the middle of as fine an
+elocutionary practice as ever you heard, when there was a scramble on
+the platform; and in there bounded into our compartment--just as the
+train began to move off--three tourists, hot and breathless!
+
+They were Englishmen,--London shopkeepers in a small way, I guessed,
+from their talk. Two of them, father and son, seemed a bit hectoring
+and dictatorial; the third was an admiring satellite. For very shame's
+sake Terence and I didn't like to drop our Dialogue as if we were
+culprits; so we lowered our voices, and went through it to the bitter
+end.
+
+Our new companions listened for a moment, and the truculent father said,
+"Neouw, there y'are, Tom! wot's hall that tork abeout? You kneouw the
+lingo."
+
+Master Tom--he was about nineteen--posed, apparently, as a linguist. He
+knew the language all right, he said. "It was kind of debased German.
+He had picked it up from a boy at school. It was the sime to 'im as
+Hinglish."
+
+"Wottaw thiy siyin, Tom?" said the father.
+
+"Oh," muttered Tom, "abeout the kaind 'v dai it is, an', hall thet
+rot. But no use listenin' to them. They tork such a bad patois, an'
+hungrimmentikil."
+
+The satellite looked impressed. "D'ye tork 't 's wull 's French an'
+Juh'man?" he asked.
+
+"Hall the sime to me", said Tom. "The sime 'z Hinglish."
+
+The satellite's awe deepened. Presently, however, he spied the cattle
+in the fields as we sped along. He pointed them out to Tom. "Fine
+ceouws, miy wu'd!"
+
+"Humph! better in Bu'kshire!" replied the linguist.
+
+In a minute or two he broke out again: "Lot 'v ceouws in a field here,
+Tom!"
+
+"Faugh!" said Tom; "faw mo' 'n Essex!"
+
+But the man of humility had an eye for landscape, and couldn't be
+repressed.
+
+"Ho, crikkie", he exclaimed, "look at that meadow an' canal. Ain't it
+stunnin'?"
+
+But the father came to his son's rescue in defence of Old England.
+"Yeou jist go deouwn Nawf'k wiy! Faw better th'n this wretched 'ole!"
+
+The satellite evidently felt reproved for his lack of patriotism, for
+he subsided immediately. But he couldn't help himself. You might see
+by the way he looked out of the window that he was in ecstasies over
+the glowing panorama before him, in spite of Norfolk and Essex and the
+contempt of his fellow-travellers.
+
+Meantime Terence, fuming and in disgust, had buried himself in the
+columns of Tit-Bits. The truculent one recognised the familiar weekly,
+and drawing his son's attention to both reader and paper he announced
+quite audibly; "'E can read Hinglish. 'E looks hintelligent."
+
+Advancing half way across the carriage, he cleared his throat, and
+addressed Terence at the top of his voice.
+
+"Do you--a hem!--a hem!--do you--_speak Hinglish?_"
+
+One could have heard the last two words in the next compartment.
+
+Terence looked up; and I saw by the twinkle in his eye what he was
+going to do.
+
+"Hein?" he interrogated with a nasal whoop like a subdued trumpet. He
+had learnt this at school from his French teacher and was a profiscient
+at rendering it accurately. It gave an unconventional flavour to his
+manner--which was just what he wished.
+
+"Hein?" he trumpeted again, with an air of amiable curiosity.
+
+"I hawskt--do you--hem!--_speak_--_Hinglish?_"
+
+"Ze Engels Langwitch? Yes: I shpeak him--von leetle bit. You alzoo?"
+
+"Hi 'm 'n Englishman," said the truculent one proudly, a trifle taken
+aback.
+
+"Zoo?" replied Terence. "Ach zoo. Ja. Jawohl. Zoo gaat 't.
+Beauti-ful--lang-witch! Beauti--ful!" he enunciated with painful
+distinctness and many twitches of his face.
+
+All this fell in with the tourists' preconceived ideas of foreign
+utterance. They exchanged glances.
+
+"You kin mike yors'ff hunderstood, hall raight," interposed the
+linguist. "Were you ever in London."
+
+"Oh, yes," answered my cousin slowly, counting off upon his fingers.
+"Alzoo--von--two--tree--time--Mooch peoples--in Londe."
+
+"Did you like London?" queried Truculence Senior.
+
+"Londe?--No! No--boddy like Londe.--Fery ugly! Mooch smoke--alzoo
+fogk.--Men see nozzing. Mooch poor peoples--No boots."
+
+"Not like London!! Why London's the gritest city in the wu'ld."
+
+"I pity me mooch--for London peoples."
+
+"Let'm aleoun, gov'ner," said the linguist, furious. "It's the Heast
+End 'e's got in 'is 'ed."
+
+"But the Heouses 'v Pawl'mint--and the Tride?" reasoned the father,
+reluctant to abandon the controversy.
+
+"Houses Parliament?--nozzing!" said Terence recklessly. "Trade?--alzoo
+nozzing! American man hef all ze trade. Fery clever. Alzoo German man.
+Fery clever."
+
+That was a clincher. Terence had amply avenged their contempt of the
+scenery they were passing through.
+
+"Let the bloomin' ass aleoun", cried Truculence junior. "'E deoun't
+kneouw wot 'e's torkin' abeout."
+
+But the shot had gone home. The papers had been full of "Wake up, John
+Bull!" of late, and he felt uncomfortable. Yet though we relapsed into
+silence, it wasn't for long. For soon the senior member of the trio
+got very exasperated with a local railway-guide that he had been
+consulting. "Bit of a muddle that!" he cried contemptuously, flinging
+the booklet on the seat. "Cawn't mike 'ed or tile of it!"
+
+He turned to my cousin: "Can you tell me 'ow far it is to Gooday--or
+Goodee?"
+
+Terence replied briskly in appalling English: "Goodee--I know-not. Zat
+iss nozzing. Good-day, zat is Goejen-dag!"
+
+"Look 'ere," said the tourist; "'Ere you aw!" pointing to the name of
+the place on his Cook's ticket.
+
+"Oh," said Terence, getting so foreign as to be scarcely intelligible.
+"Zat-iss--Gouda. Beaut-ti-ful city!" And he rolled his eyes in
+apparent awe at the magnificence of that unpretentious market-town.
+"Ex-qui-seet!"
+
+"Ow far is it?" queried his interlocutor. "Ow long, in the trine--to
+Gouda?"
+
+"Alzoo," returned my cousin, purposely misunderstanding him. "Yes; ferry
+long. Long times. Ferry old ceety. Much years. Tree--four--century!
+Historique!"
+
+"Yes, yes," said the impatient traveller. "But--wen--d'we--arrive? get
+there--you kneouw--?"
+
+"You vil arrive," pronounced Terence in the same baby-English,
+"haff--of--ze--klok."
+
+"Hawf 'n eour; that wot 'e's drivin' et," grumbled the Linguist.
+
+They kept on asking questions and criticising us to our faces, when
+they talked together. Our dress, our appearance, our complexions were
+all adjudged to be woefully foreign; and they got so patronising that
+I had to put in an odd word, in real English, to Terence, now and again,
+just to prevent them going too far. Imperceptibly conversation became
+general; and as I forced Terence out of his assumed ignorance of
+English, the surprise of the tourists deepened into dismay, for they
+noticed we were talking more and more quickly, and idiomatically as
+well.
+
+"Hi siy!" whispered the satellite, "they're learnin' Hinglish from hus!
+I'm blest hif thiy weount soon be nearly 's good 's we are!"
+
+"Never you fear," said young Conceit. "Furriners never git the 'ang of
+it."
+
+"Never," corroborated Truculence.
+
+But the open criticising of our appearance was at an end.
+
+Our companions looked anything but conciliatory when a crowd of rustics
+poured into the carriage at one of the stations. It was some sort of
+market at Gouda; and the bommel was crammed now. Finally the guard
+scurried along, and half hoisted, half pushed a peasant woman with her
+three children into the compartment.
+
+It was odd to see Truculence rise and help the little ones in; and
+odder still to see the children smile up into that formidable face,
+when they took their seats.
+
+I noticed the twinkle in his eye, however, as he watched the bairnies
+trying to scramble to the window. He was evidently much interested in
+a bright little boy of seven with dreamy eyes, who was bent on amusing
+himself; and I could see that he wanted badly to shake hands with
+him and his tot of a sister, and ask them their names. He evidently
+regretted his inability to speak Dutch; but he made up for his silence
+by reaching the boy the window-strap, with a nod of comradeship. The
+little fellow took it eagerly and, after playing with it a moment or
+two, slid off his seat and actually climbed up beside Truculence (the
+scorner of everything non-British) and pushing Truculence to one side,
+looked out of Truculence's window.
+
+So surprisingly passive was my severe compatriot at all this that I
+hazarded a guess, and said: "You have a boy of five at home?"
+
+He stopped short clearing the pane for his tiny companion, and sat
+stock-still. It might have been a statue that was beside me so little
+did he move. Not a sound in answer to my question!
+
+Quickly I glanced at him.
+
+Oh, I could have bitten off my tongue when I saw that man's face! It
+was drawn and white, and not at all like the scornful censor's of a
+few minutes before.
+
+He continued staring out of the window a moment; then he turned and
+said quietly: "I 'ad--a little fair haired fellow--a year ago.....
+'E was six.... An' the born image of thet kiddie there."
+
+Here he stroked the kiddie's head, which was now glued to the glass in
+an eager endeavour to see a passing train.
+
+"'E used to be that fond of machinery, too," he continued, opening a
+city bag and bringing out a diminutive flying-machine, a "twee-dekker"
+that he had evidently bought in the Hague. "I got it, 'cos it minded me
+of the things my boy used to pliy with. But I've nobody to give it to.
+
+May I as well give it to this kid. Tell 'is mother 'e's to keep it.
+Tell 'er that I'm 's +hold uncle from Hingland+."
+
+I did my best. Claas grasped the situation at once, as far as the
+twee-dekker was concerned. The mother was slower. Consternation and
+politeness took away her speech for an instant, but she soon recovered
+and put Claas through his drill.
+
+"Oh mijnheer, hij is zoo bij de hand!"
+
+Then she overwhelmed us all with family reminiscences, which none of us
+understood a word of, but which could not be stopped. It was a relief
+to get to Gouda; and the tension of our feelings was pleasantly relaxed
+by observing the profound disgust that mantled the Londoner's brow,
+when after helping the children on to the platform, he was accosted by
+a vendor of local dainties, who loudly insisted on selling Goudsche
+Sprits to the company. "'Ere's a Johnny wants the kiddies an'all of us
+to liquor up--on neat spirits--before hight o'clock in the mo'nin'!
+Shime, I call it."
+
+Claas had to say 'Good-bye' to his new uncle, and we watched proceedings
+from our window. The Linguist ignored the adieu completely; but the
+Satellite manfully backed up the father, and shook hands all round. A
+knot of porters gathered to seize the luggage of the big Englishman,
+who stood, masterful and bored, in the midst of the hubbub. His jaw and
+chin were those of Rhadamanthus; but his eyes were soft as they rested
+on the boyish figure descending the stairs with his baby-sister.
+Claas was waving a small hand to his new uncle who had given him the
+Twee-dekker; but his new uncle was not waving anything to him. So
+Claas stopped short, and cried at the top of his voice: "Wuif es oom!
+wui--uif es, nouw! Je moet wuife!"
+
+"Wot's 'e up to, the young rescal?" he asked me.
+
+"I believe he wants you to make a sign of goodbye. It's always done
+here," I replied.
+
+Well, he produced, from some place or other, a brilliant jubilee
+handkerchief--he was a dressy man and had plenty of coloured things--and
+shook it with both hands to his tiny friend. And the last I saw of him,
+as the train steamed on towards Utrecht, was, his waving of this silk
+banner to the little boy on the steps; the stern lips were relaxed into
+a smile; the defiant face was quite wistful as he repeated: "The young
+rescal!"
+
+Here the Goudsche sprits seller, in his tour up and down the platform,
+approached the burly Londoner again, and seeing him now in an
+unexpectedly melting mood, at once proffered his delicacies with noisy
+persistence.
+
+"Goudsche sprits! Goudsche sprits! Sir," he bawled in the Englishman's
+face, holding out a packet.
+
+Truculence was quite glad of the interruption. He blew his nose
+violently on his marvellous handkerchief, and turned upon the local
+merchant with a glare of indignation.
+
+"Get along! How dare you? D'ye take me for a drunkard?"
+
+"Formidable customer that!" whispered Terence at my elbow. "Still I
+think his bark is worse than his bite."
+
+"Not a doubt of it," I replied. "And there are more of his kind."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+BELET!
+
+WELKE MIJNHEER?--AN AANSLAGBILJET.--A MYSTERIOUS OBSTACLE.--WIJ KRIJGEN
+BELET.--IS MIJNHEER GEENGAGEERD?--EEN SPOEDIGE RESTAURATIE.
+
+
+We got on famously at Utrecht and at the Arnhem station. In less time
+than it takes to tell it we were mounted on our cycles with our bags in
+front of us, and ready for the road.
+
+"This is fine!" exclaimed Terence. And indeed it was. Charmed by the
+ease with which we had got along so safely, I felt a trifle elated over
+our linguistic victories, and had already begun to dream of fresh fields
+to conquer, when we drew near van Leeuwen's villa on the Velperweg--a
+lovely spot.
+
+We dismounted to make sure we were right, and then walked briskly up
+the avenue.
+
+The door was opened by a timid-looking servant, who said: "Er is
+belet."
+
+It was the first time I had met the expression; yet it sounded oddly
+familiar. Ah, of course. For the last ten days I had been studying
+_biljetten_ out of the railway-guide. There was apparently a slight
+provincialism in her way of the rendering the liquid in the middle of
+the word, but this didn't matter. +There was a ticket+, then. Puzzling,
+very.
+
+"Ja?" I said tentatively.
+
+"Er is belet," she repeated. The intonation was decisive; but as
+her manner was expectant, I took it for a question, had we tickets?
+Queer, certainly. Yes; I assured her we had,--"gewone biljetten,
+retour,--geldig voor een dag."
+
+She shifted her ground and said, "_Mijnheer heeft belet._"
+
+Now you know how hard it is to be sure what person servants are talking
+about when they say Mijnheer. Did she mean me or her master? "Welke
+Mijnheer?" I asked. "Ben ik mijnheer, of is Mijnheer mijnheer?"
+
+Raising her voice she announced deliberately, but with increasing
+irritation: "_Mijnheer van Leeuwen--heeft--belet._"
+
+"Aha", I whispered to Terence, "It's my big letter she's talking about.
+Well, I'm glad it came in time".
+
+"Uitstekend!" I hastened to say. "Dat biljet is van mij. Dus mijnheer
+verwacht mij, niet waar?"
+
+She nervously closed the door a bit. "Ik heb al gezaid--vanmorgen heeft
+mijnheer _expres belet gegeven_."
+
+"Mag ik het hebben, dan", I enquired politely; "Mijn brief--dat
+geschreven biljet?"
+
+"He?" she said, visibly relieved, opening the door widely as she spoke.
+"Neem mij niet kwalijk, Mijnheer. Ik wist niet dat u van de belasting
+was. Komt u om het beschrijvingsbiljet?"
+
+She retreated a step, timidly, into the hall, and glanced at an elderly
+butler, who in silence had been standing at a discreet distance
+listening to our colloquy. The butler moved forward, and in an
+apologetic tone murmured, "Mijnheer, het beschrijvingsbiljet is nog niet
+klaar. Of komt u met een aanslagbiljet?"
+
+As I had a newspaper in my hand full of talk about a 'moordaanslag' I
+repudiated the latter idea indignantly. "Geen denken aan!" I said.
+
+The butler came out and stood on the steps, enquiring "Is U soms een
+schatter."
+
+Schatter? (Schat, a treasure; schatter, a _treasurer_. I reasoned.)
+"Wel nee: geen schatter ben ik, alleen Eerlijk Secretaris van de
+Studenten-Club".
+
+In the hall a loopmeisje and a seamstress stood transfixed with
+curiosity. How could I get this mad interview terminated?
+
+The deferential butler began to grow suspicious.
+
+"Komt U niet van de belasting?"
+
+"Ik weet het niet," I replied.
+
+That was enough.
+
+"Mijnheer geeft belet altijd 's morgens," he said, adding, evidently
+with reference to my eerlijk secretaris. "Wij zijn allemaal eerlijk
+hier!"
+
+We appeared to be dismissed!
+
+"Terence," I said quickly; "Look if b-e-l-e-t is in the dictionary.
+They always hark back to that."
+
+In a minute he gave a mild shout: "It's here; it means _hindrance_. Ah,
+I see. Van Leeuwen is hindered seeing us. Hadn't we better go?"
+
+"De belet is niet erg, hoop ik?" I said to the servant; "ik hoop dat
+Mijnheer spoedig beter zal worden, als het een ziekte is."
+
+Now at last we had mastered the mysteries of belet? No such thing!
+
+Turning to go, I thought I might as well enquire when van Leeuwen could
+be seen. "Wanneer kan ik soms Mijnheer zien?" Her reply confounded me:
+"Vandaag of morgen, maar U moet +belet vragen+."
+
+Vragen! surely not ask for an obstacle. "U bedoelt +weigeren+, niet
+waar?" I suggested.
+
+"Nee: belet vragen, anders zal mijnheer u niet ontvangen."
+
+"Oh Terence!" I exclaimed. "This is too awful! +He+ has this obstacle;
+he has given it to us; now +we+ must +ask it again+. And I don't even
+know what it is!"
+
+"Take care, Jack. Don't ask anything else, or you'll get us into a
+worse mess."
+
+"One moment," I said, appealing to the stolid butler. "Moet ik
+verzoeken om weggestuurd te worden? Of wat?"
+
+"Ja Mijnheer, ik verzoek jullie maar weg te gaan. Alstublieft!"
+
+The solemn man looked like an archbishop. He cleared his throat and
+added courteously: "Maar, als U Mijnheer van Leeuwen wil spreken, moet
+U belet +laten vragen+. Anders +krijgt+ U belet als U komt."
+
+"Schei uit!" I cried in dismay. "Terence, let us fly! for my brain
+won't stand it."
+
+"No, no!" he interposed hastily. "Don't be silly or hysterical, now.
+Look here. I've been working the thing out in my head and think I can
+see some sense in it. Perhaps it's all very simple. Van Leeuwen may be
+only occupied for the moment, and so can see us if we wait. Just ask if
+they mean that he's merely engaged. He mayn't be sick at all. There's
+the word for _engaged_."
+
+And he reached me the dictionary with this thumb opposite:
+_geengageerd_, _verpanden_, _verloofd_.
+
+Yes, I thought. There was wisdom in his calm suggestion, though really
+I was sick making these curious enquiries. But it seemed plain sailing
+now. So with an ingratiating smile I just asked in a matter of fact
+sort of way: "Mijnheer is soms geengageerd? Is het wel?"
+
+"Verloofd?" I added taking the next word, as there was no manner of
+response forthcoming to the first question.
+
+"Verpanden?" whispered Terence with his eye on the dictionary.
+
+The company--there were some six of them now clustering round the
+butler for protection--retreated hastily into the recesses of the big
+hall, and left that majestic man to shut the door. This he did without
+delay, saying, somewhat nervously, "Maak dat jullie weg gaat!"
+
+There was nothing left for us to do but to beat a dignified retreat.
+
+I made it as dignified as possible by, expressing our best wishes for
+van Leeuwen's speedy recovery.
+
+"Komplimenten aan Mijnheer, hoor; een spoedige restauratie!"
+
+We cycled off.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+THE DAY-TRAIN.
+
+LOST IN THE WOOD.--STOPT DE TRAM OP EEN WENK?--PRAKISEERE.--MY DUTCH
+BREAKS DOWN.--THE TRAIN THAT NEVER STOPS.--MET HANGENDE POOTJES--RE
+INFECTA.
+
+
+We had a delightful spin along the Velperweg.
+
+Dismounting three or four times to admire choice 'bits' of scenery, we
+were enticed on and on, and followed a side way that rose over a gentle
+slope. From the ridge of this acclivity we could watch the cloud
+shadows, violet and purple, sweeping over wide moors, and by their
+subtle contrasts bringing out the soft shimmering of the distant
+sunlight. On the horizon we made out the river and some hill-tops
+marked on our maps. Terence was confident he saw Nijmegen; but pushing
+on to get a still finer view, we came to grief in crossing a heather
+"brae". At least I did. The front wheel was wrenched to one side; and
+we had to foot it all the way to Velp. There having left both machines
+at a cycle-mender's, we started for a long tramp.
+
+That was a grand mistake, for we went too far. There were other ranges
+of wooded hills to be climbed, and the air was exhilarating. The time
+passed quickly, so it was late in the afternoon before we knew. Feeling
+more or less famished, we ventured on a short cut through the "Onzalige
+Bosch"; but soon were hopelessly lost. It was a task to get on the main
+road.
+
+Indeed we took several wrong turnings apparently, for they seemed--it
+was hard to get our proper orientation--to bring us back to the same
+neighbourhood always. But at last we came to a line of wooded hills,
+and discovered a cart track that led us to a real high-way. This
+high-way was a magnificent affair with high over-arching trees; and on
+it, to our great relief, there were tram-rails!
+
+Help was near at hand. We put our best foot foremost, so to speak, and
+hurried forward looking in the dusk for a _halte_. Perhaps we may have
+passed some _halten_, but we didn't notice any; and as we were fagged
+out, I was glad to come upon a group of workmen who, I imagined, could
+tell me about the tram. The question I wanted to get solved was simple.
+Did the tram stop merely at the official _halten_, or would the driver
+pull up anywhere he got a passenger? If the bye-laws of this particular
+tramway allowed the tram to stop and pick up pedestrians anywhere all
+along the line, we were quite safe; we should just sit down on the
+roadside and rest. We shouldn't walk another step.
+
+The men were shovelling away at fallen leaves, so I accosted them in my
+friendliest Dutch and said: "Stop de tram overal?" As this was greeted
+with the customary "_blief?_" I tried to be more explicit. "Stop de tram
+op een wenk of een uitroepteeken? Of stopt hij alleen op de halten?"
+
+This puzzled them all exceedingly; and one elderly man mopped his brow
+with his handkerchief and said, "Ik mot es eve prakiseere."
+
+With that he stabbed his spade into the sod at his foot and leaned on
+the top of it with both arms, his eye fixed the while on me. I didn't
+care for the performance, as his stare was discomfitingly steady; but I
+allowed him for a while to prakiseere undisturbed.
+
+Indeed I couldn't even guess what he was trying to do. It looked like
+an exercise in philosophic meditation or an attempt to hypnotise me on
+the spot, and as he seemed in no hurry to give me the information I
+desired, there was nothing for it but ask one of the other road menders.
+
+Selecting the most intelligent looking of them. I said "Kijk es, baas;
+houdt de tram op, op een wuiving van een zakdoek? Of als men teekent met
+een paraplu?"
+
+This second functionary shook his head sadly, and leaned on _his_ spade
+in turn, gazing at me as if I had horns. There was a third man--close
+at hand--quite a young fellow, halfway across the road where he was
+standing as if petrified by my previous conversation. However he wasn't
+"prakiseering," so I stepped across to him with the slowly enunciated
+query: "Vertel me nou es: wat voor signaal moet ik maken, als ik wensch
+op genomen te worden?"
+
+He was the promptest of the group, for he replied glibly: "Ik weet het
+niet. Je mot eve by de Politie gaan vragen." But not a word about the
+tram.
+
+I gave it up. No information could possibly be extracted from these
+roadmen. My Dutch had quite broken down, and in disgust, I surrendered
+the leading of the expedition wholly to Terence.
+
+Terence has a theory that he can make his meaning clear by means of
+careful and scientific gesticulation. Now he took his innings, while I
+watched the proceedings from a comfortable seat by the roadside.
+
+"They're quite clever at it," he shouted to me. "The tram will be here
+in two somethings--I believe two hours--so we may as well move on: it'll
+be no use to us, to wait."
+
+"All right," I said; "your way of it!" And off we started, tired as
+we were. We weren't ten minutes on the road till the tram was heard
+puffing behind us; and catching sight of a kind of double line in front
+of us we bounded towards this spot in hopes there might be a halte
+there. There _was_: and the tram waited half an hour at it, and then
+went back again the way it had come. We had to walk. Well, at all
+events we reached Velp at dark. My cycle was nicely mended, so after
+getting some refreshments in an excellent _logement_ and taking a
+prolonged and well earned rest, we mounted our bikes and rode straight
+to Arnhem.
+
+So disgusted was I with my ill-success in Dutch that I tackled the
+porters in English. An obliging +wit-jas+ asked me if I would have
+the day-train. "Rather not," I told him. "There will surely be another
+train to-night. It's only nine."
+
+The first was a bommel, he said, and would do for the fietsen; but he
+recommended us to wait for the day-train.
+
+"What! And stay here all night?" I asked.
+
+"No," he explained. "Day-trein will be here soon."
+
+"+How is that?+" said I. "+How+ in the wide world can a +Day-train go
+at night+? or is it because it started from Germany by day-light? You
+surely don't reckon here by Amerikaansche tijd for the sake of the
+tourists?"
+
+"You not understand," he explained. "We call it day-trein becos' you
+pay more--."
+
+"Well!" I interrupted; "that would be a Pay-train, then! Not Day."
+
+"No, no," he said excitedly. "Zis trein go kwik!--not stop--+anywheres+!"
+
+"But if it doesn't stop, how can we get in?" I asked. "Of moet ik
++belet vragen+ voor deze Dag-trein? Geeft de trein belet? You'll need
+a special kind of ticket, too--perhaps an aanslagsbiljet?"
+
+"No, no; only little bewijsje--kwik trein--bring Restoration--becos'--."
+
+"What? The Restoration! It turns day into night, and brings back
+Charles II! Go on, please, I can believe anything now!"
+
+"Hallo! is this where you are?" sounded gratefully on our ears. It
+was van Leeuwen, who had been expecting us all day, after he had heard
+about our call, from the indignant butler. He had given up all hope of
+seeing us, but we passed him by in the dark, talking and laughing. He
+had followed hot-speed to the station--in time to explain the mysteries
+of the D-trein. My spirits rose. The world was still ruled by reason.
+Of course we went back with our rescuer. That was the original plan,
+and I had a grammar to send with him to the Hague.
+
+As he waited, talking to Terence, I recalled the cycles. The wit-jas
+demurred: "De fietsen zijn al weg."
+
+"Neen, niet waar," I told him. "Onmogelijk, hoor! Geen trein is weg.
+Daar zijn de papiertjes ervan. Pak ze: breng de fietsen mee. Ik weiger
+je verontschuldigingen. Doe wat ik zeg, ik bid U. En niet terug komen
+met hangende pootjes!"
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XV.
+
+SUPPER AT A BOERDERIJ.
+
+IN THE SHADE OF THE PRIEELTJE.--AN UNPREPARED GUEST.--COWS'
+OVERCOATS.--THANK YOU.--ANOTHER CUP.--VOOR DE PRONK.--THINGS ARE DEAR
+IN HOLLAND.--AN INNOCENT OBSERVATION.--HALF-ELF.--STARVATION IN THE
+MIDST OF PLENTY.--A MOHAMMEDAN.--PROBEER NOUW IS.--OPEN SESAME.--AN
+AFFECTIONATE IRISH TERRIER.--GENERAL PRINCIPLES.--A PARTING SALVO.
+
+
+That night, after Terence had retired, I had a confidential talk with
+van Leeuwen; and I begged of him, as a great favour, to take the
+Grammar to Kathleen, and--if he had time--give her a little coaching in
+Dutch. He said he would--to oblige me; and I was pleased to notice that
+he started, taking Boyton with him, by the earliest possible train.
+This was the six twenty--a notorious bommel which brought him into the
+Hague only seventeen minutes earlier than if he had waited for a decent
+breakfast.
+
+Enderby got to Arnhem about noon, and took us 'in tow' for our cycling
+tour. We had a glorious week of it in Gelderland under his direction;
+but there were no adventures worth speaking of. In ten days we were
+back at the Residentie, as 'brown as berries and as gay as larks'. It
+is Terence's phrase, and I give it for what it's worth.
+
+But at all events van Leeuwen was gay enough now. His pedagogic labours
+seemed to suit him, and Kathleen was quite herself again. To hear her
+laugh now was to imagine that you were back in Kilkenny in the days
+before the suffragette question was mooted.
+
+We were all delighted. Except perhaps Enderby. That youth didn't appear
+more than half pleased at the turn things had taken; but he had the
+grace to keep out of the way and consoled himself with motoring. One
+day--I had only sat down to luncheon--he carried me off for a great run
+to the islands south of Rotterdam. But the machine broke down twice
+before we reached Dordrecht, and we had to content ourselves with
+housing its fragments in a shed, and walking to a _boerderij_ where my
+friend was well known. Here, indeed, we were expected to supper; but we
+arrived hours before we were due, and _minus_ an automobile. This
+necessitated explanations, which Enderby seemed gracefully enough to
+make to the family party in the garden. In a shady +prieeltje+ there,
+they regaled us with "liemonade"; and I occasioned some consternation by
+rising twice to offer my seat to the mother and daughter respectively,
+who came in after I had sat down. They wouldn't take the chair I vacated
+for them, and appeared to resent my civility. Enderby, too, made me
+uncomfortable by touching my foot and saying, _sotto voce_, "Take care
+what you're about, O'Neill".
+
+Baas Willemse was very sympathetic about the mishap to our motor, and
+strongly recommended the services of a gifted blacksmith of his
+acquaintance.
+
+Indeed, before we knew, he had a pony harnessed in a sort of hooded
+tax-cart, in which he insisted in driving Enderby to this wonderful
+mechanic, to have the damaged car put to rights. And off they started.
+
+It was only then that I realized the situation. Here was I--without
+dictionary or phrase-book--left to play the part of intelligent guest,
+unaided and unprepared. And that was the first time in my life I was
+'spending the evening' in a non-English-speaking home. How would I get
+through it? I did hope that the local Vulcan would be quick.
+
+At first it wasn't so bad. What with remarks about "het prachtige weer"
+and "het ongeluk", and what with playing with the children, I got along
+quite smoothly for a while.
+
+I even discoursed a little about the beauty of the afternoon-sunlight
+and "het schilderachtige van het zomerlandschap".
+
+All this was taken in such good part that I went further afield; and
+noticing a large number of cattle with odd coverings on their backs, I
+ventured on a comparison which I fancied might interest the company.
+"In Groot-Brittanje hebben de koeien niet zoo dikwijls overjassen. Mag
+ik beleefd vragen: gebeurt dat hier van wege de gezelligheid, of van
+wege de gezondheid, of voor het mooi?"
+
+They were all pleased at this, and gave me a lot of talk about
+cows--which didn't make me much the wiser.
+
+By violent efforts I recalled some of my old choice phrases, and passed
+myself somehow. But alas! supper came; and then my real troubles began.
+
+We all adjourned to a binnen-kamer, where an ample spread awaited us. I
+was given the seat of honour. It was a great pity, all agreed, that
+Mijnheer Enderby wasn't back: but they thought I might be hungry. Well,
+I was--and with reason. Nothing to eat since breakfast!
+
+"Thee of chocolaat, Mijnheer?"
+
+"Thee, alstublieft", I said.--And I got it.
+
+"Krentebroodjes?"
+
+"Dank U," I answered pleasantly, and reached for one in a leisurely
+manner. You don't like to parade your hunger, you know. Well, I hadn't
+been prompt enough. A plateful from which I was about to help myself,
+was removed. The action surprised me, and I looked for a moment at the
+mother, who had withdrawn the dainties so unexpectedly. She looked at
+me, slightly ruffled. But no krentebroodjes!
+
+"Wil mijnheer een broodje met vleesch?"
+
+"Oh dank U wel," I said, endeavouring to be quicker. That time I nearly
+had a slice. But the agile youth, Jaap, who was in charge of the plate,
+whipped it away too.
+
+No broodjes met vleesch for me! It was very queer.
+
+"Soms een ei?" said the dignified grandmother, in a white cap with gold
+ornaments. She presided, and did a great deal of the talking; and I
+could make out that she was the widow of a fisherman or shipowner in a
+small way, and had once visited Hull. In virtue of having spent a week
+there, some forty years before, she was regarded evidently by all the
+rest as an authority on English manners and customs and language and
+literature.
+
+"Soms een ei?" she pleaded. "Engelshman like egg."
+
+Very much, indeed, I thought, if I could only get one--call me English
+or Irish or whatever you like. Fain would I have had an egg off that
+plate, where she had just put down six or eight, freshly boiled.
+
+Determined to get one, if politeness would assist me, I smiled and
+bowed and smiled again. "Oh, ik dank U duizendmaal. Ik bewijs volkomen
+dankbaarheid."
+
+Stunned apparently by my reply, she hesitated. To encourage her to
+extend these edibles a trifle nearer, I said, "Alstublieft. Dank U."
+But she only sighed, and laid the plate out of reach, reproachfully.
+
+No eggs!
+
+"Truitje," she whispered to her granddaughter; "presenteer de
+schuimpjes."
+
+Truitje didn't say a word, but pushed a schaaltje of these light
+refreshments towards me.
+
+I did secure two; but in a moment they were finished. You see, a
+schuimpje doesn't last very long, when you are really hungry.
+
+Then the mother complained, courteously, of my slender appetite:
+"Mijnheer wil niets gebruiken."
+
+"O ja," I interrupted, "integendeel! Heel graag. Alstublieft." And to
+show I meant it, I asked for another cup of tea. "Mag ik beleefdelijk
+vragen om een andere kop?" Here I reached cup and saucer towards them.
+
+That certainly created a diversion. They looked blankly at one another,
+till the grandmother--she was very hearty--called out with a cheerful
+laugh, "He, ja. Dat's waar ook. De Engelsche koppen zijn groot."
+
+"Truitje," she whispered in an audible aside. "Breng even een Engelsche
+kom. Ze staan in de kast."
+
+"Zie zoo. Mijnheer," she continued to me with a pleasant smile. "Nouw,
+Mijnheer wil zeker nog wat thee hebben? Nouw, niet bedanken, hoor."
+
+"Oh ja," I replied joyfully, "Schiet op--Als'tublieft--dank U. Dank
+U--heelemaal!"
+
+Holding the tea-pot poised in her hand, she looked at me appealingly,
+but in doubt. "Wat? heus?" she said.
+
+What was I to do?
+
+I looked at her quite as appealingly, and replied. "Ja, heus! Wel
+zeker."
+
+That was decisive. No tea!
+
+The cup, however, was planted down in front of me, upside down. "Het is
+voor de pronk, zeker," said the grandmother. "Engelsche gewoonte--zeer
+net."
+
+But conversation flagged. The silence was painful. You could have heard
+a pin drop. My discreet attempt to ask for something had failed, and I
+didn't see exactly how I was to improve upon it.
+
+The mother meantime surveyed my empty plate and empty cup with distinct
+disapproval, and put out a feeler: "Mijnheer houdt niet van Hollandsche
+kost?"
+
+'Hollandsch kost', what things +cost+ in Holland--Dutch prices, in
+other words? Well, they are rather high sometimes. The remark seemed
+somewhat irrelevant, but it was talk, and therefore welcome. Anything
+to break that oppressive silence. Eagerly embracing the opportunity of
+saying something, I responded with cordiality: "Hollandsche kost? Neen.
+Ik houd niet erg ervan. Dat kan U begrijpen. Ze zijn veels te hoog!"
+
+This well-meant pleasantry was received with such evident disfavour that
+I hastened to explain. "Ik bedoel dat vele artikelen zijn kostbaar--of
+kostelijk--mijns bedunkens--in Holland--maar van onberispelijke smaak."
+
+Hardly any response was made to this.--The merest murmur on the part of
+the grandmother, that was all. But they all looked at me curiously,
+without saying a word.
+
+Frantically I strove to make an observation in an easy friendly way,
+but all my Dutch seemed to have deserted me.--At least all I judged
+suitable.
+
+Fragments of conversation did float through my agonized brain, but none
+of them was quite what I needed.
+
+"Ik graauw, ik kef en kweel" was out of the question.
+
+Two proverbs suddenly flashed across my mind, and I gripped them
+firmly. One was: "Een vogel in de hand is meer waard dan tien in de
+lucht," and the tempting parallel offered itself: "Een broodje in de
+hand is meer waard dan tien op een bord." As this aphorism, however,
+didn't sound extra civil, I let it pass.
+
+"Deugd en belooning gaan zelden te samen" was the second proverb; and
+on that model I managed, after due cogitation, to construct a nice
+harmless phrase. As it expressed what we all knew and could see before
+our eyes, I felt safe against contradiction, and I knew it couldn't
+hurt anybody. This dictum ran: "Koek en boterham gaan dikwijls te
+samen."
+
+Perhaps it was owing to the suddenness with which I proclaimed this
+truth, or to some severity in my manner; but the effect produced on the
+company was magical.
+
+Jaap dropped his fork with a clatter and said, "Gunst!" The mother put
+her hand to her chest, whispering. "Zoo'n schrik!" All looked startled
+and stopped eating!
+
+To divert the scrutiny of so many eyes, I manufactured talk on the
+first thing that occurred to me, and, reverting to the Dutch prices,
+said: "Sommige artikelen in Holland zijn duur. Van morgen heb ik een
+plaat bezichtigd--een poes opgerold over een kannetje melk--de zee in
+de verte. Prachtig. Maar peper-duur. Tien gulden en een half."
+
+"Wat zegt mijnheer," asked the grandmother, "van de poes en de peper en
+de tien gulden?"
+
+Assuring her it was merely a 'plaat', but one that was 'erg kostbaar',
+I grasped at the analogy of the hours of the day, to do full justice
+to the expensiveness of the picture. If ten o'clock and a half works out
+at "half-elf-uur," it is not hard to reckon what ten guilders-and-a-half
+_ought_ to be; so I gave it with relish: "En, Juffrouw, wat denkt U?
+Het kost half-elf-gulden!"
+
+Jaap looked at his watch and shook his head. Then he shook the watch,
+put it back in his pocket and fastened his eyes again on me.
+
+"Nee, hoor!" exclaimed the mother, who had now begun to help a special
+dish; "Nee; zoo laat is het niet. Mijnheer O'Neill, neem een stukje
+pudding--toe dan--heel verteerbaar."
+
+My plate was passed along, and was heaped up liberally. Though I waited
+with my thanks as long as I could, I was obliged to intervene when the
+plate was piled high enough for any two people. "Nouw, ik bedank!" I
+ejaculated, making my best bow.
+
+But that caused the guillotine to fall once more. With a gesture of
+impatience Truitje put away my verteerbaar pudding on a remote
+side-table. Not the least chance of getting it!
+
+I was starving in the midst of plenty!
+
+As my hosts appeared to be as much impressed with the contrast as I
+was, I endeavoured to smooth things over a little, and set them more at
+their ease. Making the best of it, with all the careless grace I could
+muster I blandly assured them that it didn't matter. "Het geeft
+niets--het hindert niet--het komt er niet opaan."
+
+But they grew huffy and distant--my phrases didn't do much to relieve
+the strain--and I was feeling more depressed and famished every minute,
+when, to my unspeakable relief, up there came the sound of wheels on
+the gravel, and in a moment I heard Enderby's voice talking Dutch
+loudly and confidently in the hall.
+
+The young folks all rushed out to meet him (he is a prime favourite
+with them) and there was much whispering and laughing and a long
+confabulation before they came back.
+
+Enderby entered, and greeted the older people merrily: but there was a
+quizzical frown upon his brow as he sat down near me. "What's all this
+O'Neill?" he whispered. "Are you ill?"
+
+"I'm as well as could be expected in the circumstances."
+
+"Circumstances! Why you wouldn't touch the good food they gave you. Not
+content with despising their cookery you objected to their tea-cups,
+and pretend that religious scruples keep you from eating until after
+half-past ten. They think you are some kind of Mohammedan. These kind
+people are a little hurt, I fear; and I can see they are greatly
+astonished."
+
+"So am I! I have been as polite as anything, all the time; but though
+they offer me plenty of everything, if I attempt to help myself,
+whew!--they whisk the dish away. They may be hurt, as you say; but I
+can tell you, _I'm starving_. Is there no way to--."
+
+Our conversation was interrupted by the mother's voice, which broke in
+with the cheery question: "Mijnheer Enderby houdt +wel+ van Hollandsche
+kost, niet waar?"
+
+I watched what he would say.
+
+He used two easy words: "Dat spreekt."
+
+Busying herself with plates and spoons, the mother continued: "U neemt
+een beetje avondeten?"
+
+"Nouw! Of ik!" said Enderby with enthusiasm--and they brought him
+eatables all sorts.
+
+These dainties caught my eye in spite of myself; and I wondered why
+none had been given to me. It was now going on to ten; and I had had
+nothing since early breakfast, except a glass of lemonade, a cup of
+tea and two small schuimpjes.
+
+The old lady was observant, and must have detected famine in my eye,
+for with a glance at the clock she called softly to Truitje: "Probeer
+nouw is."
+
+To me she said, "Wil Mijnheer nog thee?"
+
+The secret was mine now, and I didn't hesitate.
+
+"Of ik!" I replied.
+
+There was a scream of delight from all quarters! My kom was turned
+right-side up and filled to the brim with fresh warm tea. I was the
+centre of interest at once. Cupboards flew open on all sides, like
+pistol-shots, and everybody was waiting to help me. It was who would
+give me most.
+
+"Ham en een broodje?"
+
+"Of ik!"
+
+"Rookvleesch--en een ei?"
+
+"Of ik!"
+
+The seven lean years were past, now the time of plenty was come.
+
+"Bitterkoekjes en leverworst?"--"Muisjes en karnemelk?"--"Appelbolletjes,
+wentelteefjes en molsla?"--I refused nothing.
+
+"Of ik" was the "Open Sesame"--the key to unlock all cupboards and all
+hearts.
+
+I took care to thank nobody for anything, for fear my plate would be
+removed. Happy laughter was heard on all sides. Smiles beamed on every
+face. In an instant I had become the most popular man on the island,--at
+all events with the people in that farm-house. Their hospitality and my
+hunger had met at last, and come to terms--to the unbounded enthusiasm
+of all.
+
+Meantime Enderby had communicated to them the fact that I was an
+Irishman; and I overheard someone venture on the singular criticism:
+"De Ieren zijn zoo lief voor elkaar! Hij gebruikt niets als zijn vriend
+er niet bij is."
+
+"He, wat lief!" said Baas Willemse.
+
+"Innig!" whispered the grandmother, smiling.
+
+"Leuk", answered the mother.
+
+"Aardig", said some one else.
+
+"Typisch", exclaimed Truitje.
+
+A grumble fell on our ears: "Wat gek!"
+
+It was Jaap.
+
+Truitje talked on one side of Enderby; Jaap talked on the other.
+Enderby smiled, then sniggered, then laughed; and finally, laying down
+his knife and fork, he looked at me, and leaned back in his chair and
+positively roared.
+
+"Well, what's the matter?" I asked austerely.
+
+"She says it's touching to see your affection for me. You looked so
+melancholy when I was away, as if you were longing for something--or
+crossed in love--or disappointed! You've won their hearts, at last,
+my boy, not a doubt of it. Still, don't overdo that phrase, now that
+you've got it. Jaap here has a story about an Irish terrier in Drenthe
+that refused to eat anything for three days, when its master was away
+in Amsterdam. But he adds that the terrier made up for it, by eating
+everything it could, when its master came back. I can see that you are
+going to achieve a reputation that will outrival that of your canine
+compatriot, unless you have a care. Be a bit cautious, please."
+
+Here Jaap, dimly apprehending that Enderby was speaking about him,
+performed a mystic rite that puzzled me extremely.
+
+Pretending to sharpen an imaginary pencil on his forefinger he held it
+towards us and cried, "Sliep uit."
+
+"What on earth is that?" I asked Enderby--who, however, could only
+tell me that it was intended as a roguish taunt--Jaap was always a
+schelm--but the phrase was otherwise meaningless.
+
+As such I jotted it down at once in my notebook for future use.
+
+From these experiences in the boerderij I was able to deduce an
+important general principle of practical value.
+
++If you want anything in Holland never say "thank you", until the
+object is firmly in your grasp.+ Then you may be as civil as you like.
+But before you get hold of it, you are only safe if you say, "If I".
+
++In the Dutch language premature thanks are equivalent to a refusal;
+so you'd better keep your gratitude out of sight.+
+
+Well, I had won all hearts here in virtue of my discoveries. As we were
+going away the grandmother gave me a second Good-bye, shaking me warmly
+by both hands. "Heeft mijnheer zich goed geamuseerd?" she enquired.
+
+"Kostelijk--Uitstekend--Nouw!" was my prompt reply, for I had expected
+that query.
+
+"Wat spreekt mijnheer nouw makkelijk Hollandsch!" she exclaimed.
+
+"Gunst, ja", was my retort. "Ik heb zoo'n pret gehad! Onbetaalbaar!"
+
+But I caught Jaap's eye; it was critical; so to pay back the youth for
+his terrier-story I took out my pencil, sharpened it in full view of
+them all and said, "Sliep uit, Jaap; je bent een schelm".
+
+With that they all cheered, young and old, saying "Net, Mijnheer, net!"
+
+"Tot weerziens!" laughed the grandmother shaking hands again. "Kom
+spoedig terug".
+
+"Ja hoor; dat spreekt."
+
+"Belooft u?" she repeated, before she let me go.
+
+I pulled myself together, and gave a parting salvo: "Ja,
+zeker--Stellig--Och kom!--Reken er op!--Of ik!!"
+
+We drove away in a perfect tornado of applause.
+
+
+
+
+EPILOGUE.
+
+THE EXPECTED SURPRISE.
+
+
+On reaching my rooms at Ferdinand Bolstraat 66_a_, the landlady greeted
+me with respectful effusion and told me that Jan was as good as cured,
+though the wounded arm would remain stiff for a good while, she
+feared. She was loud in the praises of the Engelsche juffrouw and her
+profisciency in Dutch; and (sinking her voice confidentially) Mijnheer
+van Leeuwen had left a letter for me upstairs.
+
+"Boyton", I thought, as I climbed those forty nine precipitous steps
+that led to my room, "I hope you have done your duty."
+
+And he had.
+
+Van Leeuwen wrote that he would prepare me for a great surprise! It
+was yet a profound secret; but,--well, in fact--that is to say--he was
+engaged to my cousin Kathleen. They had discovered mutual sympathies
+and affinities over the study of Dutch--to which language now my cousin
+was devoting her serious attention. By the by they had been delighted
+with that monograph of mine. And the queer Grammar was useful. (I
+should think so!)
+
+He said that he could well imagine my astonished looks when I got this
+news about his attachment! Now confess, he concluded, that you hadn't
+the ghost of a suspicion as to what was coming?
+
+"Oh hadn't I just?" I soliloquized, "Well; there's only one thing, my
+dear fellow, to say to all that; And I really must say it in Dutch:
++Of ik+?"
+
+
+
+
+Opmerkingen van de bewerker
+
+
+In deze tekst komen vier soorten van nadruk voor, soms tegelijkertijd.
+Voor deze txt-versie zijn ze weergeven met _cursief_, =vet=,
++gespatieerd+ en HOOFDLETTERS.
+
+Ook in de txt-versie zijn de kopteksten van bovenaan de bladzijden
+verplaatst naar het begin van de hoofdstukken.
+
+Voor het gemak van de lezer is de inhoudsopgave verplaatst van het eind
+van het boek naar het begin.
+
+In de tabel met uitspraakregels op pag. 16 werd in het origineel E U
+twee keer genoemd. De tweede is veranderd in E I.
+
+Duidelijke drukfouten zijn stilzwijgend verbeterd. Alle andere
+eigenaardigheden en inconsequenties in spelling en grammatica zijn
+niet gewijzigd, in het bijzonder die in de zogenaamde citaten uit
+"Boyton and Brandnetel". Ook de stijl van de auteur in het gebruik van
+aanhalingstekens is niet gewijzigd.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Further Adventures of O'Neill in
+Holland, by J. Irwin Brown
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