diff options
| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-14 20:06:01 -0700 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-14 20:06:01 -0700 |
| commit | c08e5b8e1a8c64333bcc3e31da0a22aeb1b9bff5 (patch) | |
| tree | a1244d75215bccd654efb439cc0b8373bab10ffe /36537-h | |
Diffstat (limited to '36537-h')
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/36537-h.htm | 2200 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/145-1.png | bin | 0 -> 32764 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/145-2.png | bin | 0 -> 35648 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/146.png | bin | 0 -> 296131 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/147.png | bin | 0 -> 1370549 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/148-1.png | bin | 0 -> 16629 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/148-2.png | bin | 0 -> 15234 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/148-3.png | bin | 0 -> 18800 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/148-4.png | bin | 0 -> 29268 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/150.png | bin | 0 -> 208494 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/151.png | bin | 0 -> 411535 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/153-1.png | bin | 0 -> 77120 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/153-2.png | bin | 0 -> 21078 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/154.png | bin | 0 -> 286092 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/155.png | bin | 0 -> 92687 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/156-1.png | bin | 0 -> 73201 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/156-2.png | bin | 0 -> 62778 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 36537-h/images/156-3.png | bin | 0 -> 60861 bytes |
18 files changed, 2200 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/36537-h/36537-h.htm b/36537-h/36537-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2a7f1ac --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/36537-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2200 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + +<head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Punch, October 1, 1887.</title> + <style type="text/css"> + +body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + +p {text-align: justify;} + +p.author {margin-top: -1em; margin-right: 5%; text-align: right;} + +p.indent {text-indent: 1.5em;} + +blockquote {text-align: justify;} + +h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center;} + +pre {font-size: 0.7em;} + +hr {text-align: center; width: 50%;} + +html>body hr {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;} + +hr.full {width: 100%;} + +html>body hr.full {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + +hr.short {text-align: center; width: 20%;} + +html>body hr.short {margin-right: 40%; margin-left: 40%; width: 20%;} + +.note {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + +span.pagenum {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;} + +.smcap {font-variant: small-caps; font-weight: normal;} + +.poem {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;} + +.poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + +.poem p {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + +.poem p.i2 {margin-left: 1em;} + +.poem p.i5 {margin-left: 5em;} + +.figure {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; + margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figcenter {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; + margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figright {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; + margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figleft {padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; font-size: 0.8em; padding-bottom: 1em; + margin: 0px; padding-top: 1em; text-align: center;} + +.figure img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; + border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figcenter img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; + border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figright img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; + border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figleft img {border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-left-style: none; + border-bottom-style: none;} + +.figure p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figcenter p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figright p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figleft p {margin: 0px; text-indent: 1em;} + +.figure p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figcenter p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figright p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figleft p.in {margin: 0px; text-indent: 8em;} + +.figcenter {margin: auto;} + +.figright {float: right;} + +.figleft {float: left;} + +</style> + +</head> + +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., +October 1, 1887, by Various + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 1, 1887 + +Author: Various + +Release Date: June 27, 2011 [EBook #36537] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH *** + + + + +Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Malcolm Farmer, +Ernest Schaal, and the Online Distributed Proofreading +Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page145" id="page145"></a>[pg 145]</span></p> + +<h1>PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.</h1> + +<h2>Vol. 93.</h2> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<h2>October 1, 1887.</h2> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<h2>THE WAIL OF MESSRS. BURT +AND FENWICK.</h2> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"><span class="smcap">The</span> Northumberland Miners' U-ni-on</p> +<p class="i2">Have bidden their <span class="smcap">Burt</span> bego-o-one.</p> +<p>It seems, by the ballot, we soon shall be all out,</p> +<p class="i2">And there'll be an end to our fun.</p> +</div> +</div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:30%;"> + <a href="images/145-1.png"><img width="100%" src="images/145-1.png" alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><i>Chorus.</i>—We've got no work to do-o-o-o!</p> +<p class="i2">We have no work to do-o-o!</p> +<p>We are poor Members, poor Working-Men Members,</p> +<p class="i2">Who've got no work to do!</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">Oh, Morpeth and Wansbeck, o-o-oh!</p> +<p class="i2">This same is a pretty go-o-o!</p> +<p>The feelings why hurt of your <span class="smcap">Fenwick</span> and <span class="smcap">Burt</span>?</p> +<p class="i2">We wouldn't have served <i>you</i> so!</p> +<p class="i5"><i>Chorus.</i>—We've got no work, &c.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">The Working-Men's Members of la-a-ate</p> +<p class="i2">Were getting a power in the Sta-a-ate,</p> +<p>But now they're rejected, or coldly ejected,</p> +<p class="i2">Which same is a sorrowful fate.</p> +<p class="i5"><i>Chorus.</i>—We've got no work, &c.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2"><span class="smcap">Joe Arch</span> he had to go-o-o-o,</p> +<p class="i2">Then <span class="smcap">Leicester</span>, the other <span class="smcap">Jo-o-oe</span>!</p> +<p>And now we two'll have to forfeit our "screw,"</p> +<p class="i2">Which is jolly hard lines, you know.</p> +<p class="i5"><i>Chorus.</i>—We've got no work, &c.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">It's hardly fair play to gi-i-ive,</p> +<p class="i2">To a Labour-Representati-i-ve,</p> +<p>For without your cash, O Miners most rash,</p> +<p class="i2">How, how shall we manage to live?</p> +<p class="i5"><i>Chorus.</i>—We've got no work, &c.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">It is no doubt exceedingly tru-u-ue;</p> +<p class="i2">We've found little work to do-o-o,</p> +<p>In the House. For that same 'tis not <i>we</i> who're to blame,</p> +<p class="i2">But the long Irish hullaballo.</p> +<p class="i5"><i>Chorus.</i>—We've got no work, &c.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">We know these are very hard ti-i-imes,</p> +<p class="i2">To scrape up the dollars and di-i-imes;</p> +<p>But when <i>we</i>, dear Miners, are robbed of the shiners,</p> +<p class="i2">We're punished for other folks' crimes.</p> +<p class="i5"><i>Chorus.</i>—We've got no work, &c.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">Of course if you give us the sa-a-ack,</p> +<p class="i2">Our Gladstone bags we must pa-a-ack,</p> +<p>But perhaps for this hurry some day you'll be sorry,</p> +<p class="i2">And wish <span class="smcap">Burt</span> and <span class="smcap">Fenwick</span> both back.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p><i>Chorus.</i>—We've got no work to do-o-o-o!</p> +<p class="i2">We're ballotted out of our scre-e-ew;</p> +<p>Poor Working Men's Members, this worst of Septembers,</p> +<p class="i2">In sorrow we sigh and boho-o-o!</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr/> + +<h2>THE 'EAT OF DISCUSSION.</h2> + +<h3>(<i>A Fancy founded on Facts.</i>)</h3> + +<p><span class="smcap">He</span> left the court with his colleagues at +twenty minutes to one o'clock. He said +nothing, but listened intently while the +question of the Inquest was canvassed. +Was it to be a verdict of Manslaughter or +Murder, or only Accidental Death? He +listened so intently that he was quite surprised +when the clock struck two.</p> + +<p>Yes two o'clock—time for his lunch!</p> + +<p>He rose from his seat, and went to the door. +He spoke to one on the other side, he talked +of cuts from the joints, and chops and steaks.</p> + +<p>He was answered with laughter!</p> + +<p>Then he returned to his chair, rather put +out at this ill-timed pleasantry, and listened +once more to the arguments of his colleagues. +They had got beyond the verdict now, and +were discussing the "riders." The first, +elaborately blaming the Magistrates, had +been framed and passed, and the second +dealing with the bye-laws of the Town +Council was under consideration. Before it +was finally settled the clock struck three!</p> + +<p>Yes, three! and since twenty-minutes to +one he had been locked in lunchless! He +went to the door and beat it with his fists!</p> + +<p>"Might he have a cut off the joint?"</p> + +<p>"No!"</p> + +<p>Again he was silent, and again his colleagues +continued their discussion. They +spoke in lower tones now, because they too +were feeling the want of food. Four struck, +and then five.</p> + +<p>He staggered once more to the door, and in +piteous tones made a last request,</p> + +<p>Might he have a sandwich?</p> + +<p>No!!!!!</p> + +<p>It was too much! He ground his teeth in +rage! Five hours had elapsed, and then the +last and eighth rider, suggesting that after +its final completion a theatre should be +thrown open for public inspection for a week +before a licence was granted, was passed. +The work of the Jury was over.</p> + +<p>It was indeed a painful scene. The eleven +men who had taken part in the discussion +were entirely exhausted. Some were slumbering +from weakness, others were wearily +"talking on their fingers." Hunger had +made these last absolutely dumb. Reams of +papers were scattered about covered with +writing. Here and there was a quill-pen +partly consumed. Even the blotting-pads +testified to the presence of hungry men—some +of the leaves showed the traces of a +stealthy nibble. In the heat of argument +hours before, a juryman, anxious to impress +an opinion upon a sceptic colleague, had +offered to "eat his hat." He now gazed at +the head-gear with greedy eyes, as if anxious +to carry out his proposition.</p> + +<p>The Foreman, in a whisper, asked if anyone +had any further suggestions to make.</p> + +<p>Then the rage of the starving one gave +him fictitious strength. He stood up, and +shrieked out, "I express my opinion that the +non-supply of refreshments to the Jury for +several hours is a blot on the legal system of +the country!"</p> + +<p>In a moment the Foreman and his colleagues +sprang to their feet, and, making a +supreme effort, shouted out, "Agreed! +agreed! agreed!"</p> + +<p>And what further did these poor famished +men, these heroes of the long, foodless day, +these martyrs to a cruel system—a wretched +system—these victims to an abuse that +should be swept away like chaff before the +wind—ay, what farther did they do after +their trumpet-tongued cry of indignant denunciation?</p> + +<p>Why (it is to be sincerely hoped) that they +went home and had their dinner!</p> + + +<hr/> + +<h2>THE BICYCLISTS OF ENGLAND.</h2> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"Mr. <span class="smcap">Sturmey</span>, in the preface to the new +edition of his <i>Handbook of Bicycling</i>, sketches +the progress of this enormously popular amusement +since the appearance of his last edition, +rather more than five years ago."—<i>Daily Paper.</i></p></div> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:30%;"> + <a href="images/145-2.png"><img width="100%" src="images/145-2.png" alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="smcap">Ye</span> Bicyclists of England</p> +<p class="i2">Who stride your wheels with ease,</p> +<p>How little do you think upon</p> +<p class="i2">What Mr. <span class="smcap">Sturmey</span> sees.</p> +<p>The wheelmen's standard rises high</p> +<p class="i2">With every year that goes.</p> +<p>Wheels sweep, fast and cheap,</p> +<p class="i2">Whereof <span class="smcap">Sturmey's</span> trumpet blows—</p> +<p>Our cycles range more swift and strong,</p> +<p class="i2">And <span class="smcap">Sturmey's</span> trumpet blows.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The Cycles of our fathers</p> +<p class="i2">Were "bone-shakers," and few,</p> +<p>But the cinder-path's broad field of fame</p> +<p class="i2">Shows what their sons can do.</p> +<p>When <span class="smcap">Wyndham</span> rose, and <span class="smcap">Stanton</span> fell,</p> +<p class="i2">The pace was cramped and slow;</p> +<p>Their creep to our sweep</p> +<p class="i2">Rouses <span class="smcap">Sturmey's</span> scorn, you know—</p> +<p>Our Cycles now run fleet and strong,</p> +<p class="i2">And <span class="smcap">Sturmey's</span> trumpets blow.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Britannia needs no bulwark—</p> +<p class="i2">Tariffs her trade to keep,</p> +<p>Her "wheels" are found on every path;</p> +<p class="i2">Coventry's not asleep.</p> +<p>Our <span class="smcap">Woods</span> and <span class="smcap">Howells</span> wheel like fun,</p> +<p class="i2"><span class="smcap">Jack Keen</span> can make 'em go.</p> +<p>Foes we floor from each shore,</p> +<p class="i2">Whereof <span class="smcap">Sturmey's</span> trumpets blow—</p> +<p>Our Cyclists lick the world by long,</p> +<p class="i2">And <span class="smcap">Sturmey's</span> trumpets blow.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The "Meteor" wheels of England</p> +<p class="i2">Shall yet terrific turn;</p> +<p>'Tis true that France gave us a start—</p> +<p class="i2">Now she has much to learn.</p> +<p>To you, our brave wheel-warriors,</p> +<p class="i2">Our song and glass shall flow;</p> +<p>To the fame of your name</p> +<p class="i2">Mr. <span class="smcap">Sturmey's</span> trumpets blow—</p> +<p>Cycles or Cyclists, <i>ours</i> are best,</p> +<p class="i2">So why should we <i>not</i> blow?</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<div class="blockquot"><p><span class="smcap">Heavy Lightning.</span>—Lord <span class="smcap">Grimthorpe</span>, +<i>à propos</i> of Lightning Conductors, with his +customary courtesy, writes to the <i>Times</i> of his +opponent's (also a Correspondent to the leading +journal) desire "to display his own smartness," +and speaks of that opponent's opinions +as "mere nonsense, due to his ignorance." +He concludes, "If he wants the last word, he +is welcome to it." Lord <span class="smcap">Grimthorpe's</span> last +word (if really the last) is preferable.</p></div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page146" id="page146"></a>[pg 146]</span></p> + +<h2>AMERICAN CHINA.</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 100%;"> +<a href="images/146.png"><img width="100%" src="images/146.png" alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>"The Mandarin had an only daughter, named <span class="smcap">Li-Chi</span>, who fell in love +with <span class="smcap">Chang</span>, a young man who lived in the island-home represented at the +top of the pattern, and who had been her father's secretary. The father +overheard them one day making vows of love under the orange-tree, and +sternly forbade the unequal match; but the lovers contrived to elope, lay +concealed for awhile in the gardener's cottage, and thence made their escape +in a boat to the island-home of the young lover. The enraged Mandarin +pursued them with a whip, and would have beaten them to death, had not +the gods rewarded their fidelity by changing them both into turtle-doves. +The picture is called the Willow-Pattern, not only because it is a tale of +disastrous love, but because the elopement occurred 'when the willow begins +to shed its leaves.'"—<i>Legend of the Willow-Pattern.</i></p></div> + +<p><span class="smcap">Scene</span>—<i>that of the tradition. Season, willow-fall. Hour, sundown.</i></p> + +<p><i>Li-Chi</i> (<i>sings</i>)—</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The poor soul sat sighing by a rum-looking tree,</p> +<p class="i2">Sing, once a green willow;</p> +<p>But now all its leaves smell of base £ <i>s.</i> <i>d.</i>;</p> +<p class="i2">Sing willow, willow, willow!</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>The old stream runs by her, not with the old tones,</p> +<p class="i2">Sing willow, willow, willow!</p> +<p>But, churned by coarse paddles, it plashes and groans;</p> +<p class="i2">Sing willow, willow, willow!</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p><i>Chang.</i> Ah, yellow and irradiant sunflower of my soul's secret +shrine, sing not thus dolefully, I entreat thee. What avails the +permission to escape awhile our old ornithological metamorphosis, +and revisit once again the glimpses of the Mandarin's country seat, +the pavilion, the peach and the orange-tree, the elegant wooden +fence, the bridge, the boat, and, above all, the willow, only to sing +songs whose spirit-cleaving cadences sting thy <span class="smcap">Chang</span> more than +ever did the angry Mandarin's whip-lash?</p> + +<p><i>Li-Chi (mournfully).</i> What, indeed? But O, sublimated saffron-bag +of my spirit's idolatry, who can help weeping at sight of <i>this</i>?</p> + +<p><i>Chang (reading).</i> "National and International Amalgamated +Bank!" O, mighty but much-too-free-with-the-whip-hand-of-parental-authority +Mandarin of the Middle Kingdom, what would +you have thought of this transformation?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page147" id="page147"></a>[pg 147]</span> +<i>Li-Chi.</i> Papa was impetuous. Our—our +elopement angered him. But Telegraph-poles, +Telephone Exchanges, River Steamers, +Banks and Blazing Posters!!—Alas!!!</p> + +<p><i>Chang (hotly).</i> By the isolated button of +Celestial supereminence, it is too bad! +What <i>can</i> <span class="smcap">Li Hung Chang</span>, that dragon-claw +of the throne, that amber-souled prop +of imperial perpendicularity be about, I +wonder?</p> + +<p><i>Li-Chi (meditatively).</i> We—e—ell,—perhaps +he knows, after all.</p> + +<p><i>Chang.</i> What meaneth the tintinnabulant +tea-blossom of my trivial and ephemeral +personality?</p> + +<p><i>Li-Chi (archly).</i> The "Heathen Chinee," +as the wanton Western scribe insolently calls +him, is indeed "peculiar," as perchance even +Count <span class="smcap">Eugene Stanislow Kostka de Mitkiewicz</span> +and Mr. <span class="smcap">Jay-Gould</span>, <span class="smcap">Hood</span>, <span class="smcap">Mackay</span> +the multi-millionnaire, and <span class="smcap">Barker</span> Brothers +the Bankers, New York Syndicates and +Philadelphian Silver Rings, may yet discover +as clearly and completely as did <i>Bill Nye</i> +and <i>Truthful James</i> of the ribald ballad.</p> + +<p><i>Chang (admiringly).</i> Verily even the +orbicular contractility of dexter-optical +semi-closure becometh those almond eyes, +oh! flesh-enshrined opium-ecstasy of my +most transcendental inwardness.</p> + +<p><i>Li-Chi (smartly).</i> I should think it did, +indeed! A wink is as good as a nod to a +blind lover. "Melican Man" is very 'cute +and enterprising; but whether he'll find it +quite so easy as he fancies to "run" the +Celestial Kingdom, or "exploit" the +Flowery Land, remains as the never-sufficiently-to-be-commended-and-left-carefully-unread +<span class="smcap">Kung-foo-tze</span> would say, "to +be duskily adumbrated in the spirit-speculum +of the yet To-be."</p> + +<p><i>Chang.</i> Quite so. Still, O million-berried +mulberry-tree of my mean and inconsiderable +soul-garden, to have our own secular +love-legend and its many-centuried Scene +thus sordidly transmogrified, cannot, O, +shining one of my spirit's crepuscular gloom. +O, beneficent betel-nut of my supersensual +Palate"—</p> + +<p><i>Li-Chi.</i> Well, <span class="smcap">Chang</span>, after all, novelty +hath its charm—after a cycle or two, you +know. Marquis <span class="smcap">Tseng</span> talks about "the +awakening of China." As if there was ever +a Celestial who, for all his childlikeness and +blandness, was not very wide-awake indeed! +Why, <span class="smcap">Li-Chi</span>, if ever <i>we</i> had our time over +again, <i>do</i> you think that transmutation into +a pair of turtle-doves,—bird-beatitudes, my +<span class="smcap">Chang</span>, are <i>so</i> limited!—would form the +acme of our mutual aspirations?</p> + +<p><i>Chang.</i> Well, per—haps not, <span class="smcap">Li-Chi</span>.</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Better fifty years of Europe</p> +<p>Than a Cycle of Cathay,—</p> +</div> +</div> + +<p>—as turtle-doves, you know. Still, that +chuckling and cavorting American fowl, +that two-headed and vulturine Russo-Polish +Eagle, do not quite fit into the Mongolian +Arcadia of the Willow-pattern plate; now +do they? We have fallen, lily of my life, +upon sordid, and subversive, and sceptical +times, when millions of taels move our +Mandarins to Modernism, when Silver +Rings and Syndicates, can set up a Party +of Progress in the Realm of the Immutable, +and when doubts have been thrown by +shallow scribes upon the existence of the +Great Wall of China itself!</p> + +<p><i>Li-Chi (shuddering).</i> Dreadful, dear! +Let's turn back into turtle-doves at once, +and coo ourselves into truly Celestial +obliviousness of this colossal Yankee <i>coup</i>, +which threatens—perchance prematurely—to +fix for all time <i>this</i> preposterously Western +and barbaric picture as the Willow Pattern +of the Future! [<i>They do so.</i></p> + +<hr /> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/147.png"><img width="100%" src="images/147.png" alt="" /></a> + <h2>SAGACITY.</h2> +<p><i>Countryman.</i> "<span class="smcap">Fi' Pounds too much for him? He's a won'erful good Sportin' Daug, +Sir! Why he come to a Dead Pint in the Street, Sir, close ag'in a ol' Gen'leman, +the other day—'Fust o' September it was, Sir!—an' the Gen'leman told me arterwards +as his Name were 'Partridge'!</span>"</p> +<p><i>Customer.</i> "<span class="smcap">You don't say so!</span>" [<i>Bargain struck!</i></p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>"PAYING THEIR SHOT."</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">A Party</span> of excursionists from the Tyne thought it a pleasant way of spending a Bank-holiday +to go wantonly shooting swarms of sea-birds on the Farne Islands. When remonstrated +with by the more humane man in charge, they considered it still greater "sport" to +threaten to push an oar down his throat, and make a target of him. These sportive souls +indeed managed amongst them to "hit his felt hat and graze his left thumb" with shot. +But when 239 of them were summoned under the Wild Birds Act, and had to pay fines and +expenses to the tune of some £70, they probably modified their notion of the nature and claim +of "Sport," and found that "paying the shot" in that sense was the least pleasant part of +shooting. Some of them were probably left without "a shot in the locker." A few more +such wholesome lessons, and the "Cad with a Gun," the "Brute with a Double-Barrel," +may no longer be found depopulating Nature's feathered preserves and disgracing the +name of honest Sport.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page148" id="page148"></a>[pg 148]</span></p> + +<h2>SALUBRITIES ABROAD.</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">At</span> last I have seen him!—the travelling Englishman, the English +Milord of the French Farce—"Oah, c'est moa!" of the <i>Journal +Comique</i>.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>But if the farce Milord is grotesque, the English "Mees" is equally +ridiculous. I met, the other day, a lady of Albion, who was strutting +about with an enormous "handled" +<i>pince-nez</i> raised to her +eyes, while she expressed +her opinion +"that those foreigners +really <i>do</i> dress <i>so</i> +absurdly!"</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p><i>Diary of a Day.</i>—At +all these Stations +Thermales the pleasantest +hours of the +day are sacrificed to +the interests of the +band, the casinos, the +cercle, and the evening +amusements. <i>Les +Baigneurs sérieux</i> +ought not to require +any amusement after +9·30, and by ten they +should be in bed. +Their hours for walking +and other exercise +should be very early +in the morning, or late in the evening before dinner. The remainder +of the day should be given up to baths, to drinking waters, <i>déjeuner +à la fourchette</i>, and rest.</p> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:15%;"> + <a href="images/148-1.png"><img width="100%" src="images/148-1.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>"L'Anglais pour rire."</p> +</div> + +<div class="figright" style="width:15%;"> + <a href="images/148-2.png"><img width="100%" src="images/148-2.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>Mees "O'Shocking!"</p> +</div> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>By the way, at the top of the daily menu at the Continental Hotel +the <i>déjeuner à la fourchette</i> at 11 <span class="smcap">A.M.</span> is styled "<span class="smcap">Lunch</span>." <span class="smcap">Puller</span> +resents this as strongly as he does a waiter's answering him, "Yees, +Sare," when he has given an order in his best French. Now this +meal at 11 <span class="smcap">A.M.</span> is not an English lunch, but is the French <i>déjeuner +à la fourchette</i>. Is it becoming the common practice in hotels on +the Continent? If so, the English will soon remember that they +don't come abroad for lunch—they can "lunch" well enough at +home—but they do come abroad for <i>déjeuner à la fourchette</i>, and, if +they do not get it, they will stay away.</p> + +<p>"It's confoundedly insulting!" exclaims <span class="smcap">Puller</span>, indignantly. +"Do they think we don't know what a <i>déjeuner à la fourchette</i> +means? But, dash it, you know," he goes on, in the tone of a man +whom a very little more of this sort of treatment would disgust with +life generally, "they're making everybody abroad so English." +Then he repeats, "So English, you know," in imitation of some +American burlesque actor, and this has the effect of restoring his +good humour. He thinks the quotation so apt and so humorous, +that he expands in chuckles, and goes out of the <i>salle-à-manger</i> doing +a step, and repeating, "So English, you +know!" The French, Spanish, and the +visitors of various nationalities, shake their +heads, shrug their shoulders, and evidently +hope he is harmless. The waiters smile, +and this reassures the guests.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>The special merit of the Royat Drinking +Waters and Baths consists in the large +amount of iron contained in them. Over the +gates of the Park at Royat, where the +<i>Etablissement</i> and <i>Buvettes</i> are situated, +should be inscribed, for the benefit of English +visitors, "Washing and Ironing done +here."</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:15%;"> + <a href="images/148-3.png"><img width="100%" src="images/148-3.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>The Cravate au Moulin.</p> +</div> + +<p><i>The Uncertain Bather.</i>—My acquaintance +<span class="smcap">Mordel</span> is another variety of the genus +<i>baigneur</i>. He is dissatisfied only with himself. +He is perpetually having a row with +himself. The Hotel is good enough, he says; +the Doctor is all that can be desired. The baths +and waters are managed very well; but the question is, he says to +himself, "Was I right in coming here at all? Ought I not to have +gone to Aix? or to Vichy? or to Homburg? or to Mont Dore, or to +La Bourboule?" "Well, but"—I say to him, with a view to reconciling +him to himself—"are the waters doing you good?" He +reluctantly admits that they are not doing him any harm—as yet. +In this state of uncertainty he remains during the whole course of +treatment, and, to the last, he is of opinion that he ought to have +gone to some other place, no matter where.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>It is a real pleasure to see <span class="smcap">Smith</span>, of the Colosseum Club, meet +<span class="smcap">Brown</span>, also a member of the same sociable institution. He greets +<span class="smcap">Brown</span> heartily,—never was so glad to see anybody. Yet they are +anything but inseparables in London; and it certainly was not owing +to <span class="smcap">Smith's</span> good offices that <span class="smcap">Brown</span> was elected to the Colosseum. +<span class="smcap">Brown</span> has just arrived at Royat, and is not so effusive at the sight +of <span class="smcap">Smith</span>, as <span class="smcap">Smith</span>, who has been here ten days, is on beholding +<span class="smcap">Brown</span>. "<span class="smcap">Thompson's</span> here, so's <span class="smcap">Jones</span>," <span class="smcap">Smith</span> tells <span class="smcap">Brown</span>, +beamingly. "Are they?" returns <span class="smcap">Brown</span>, who recognises the names +as those of eminent Colosseum men. "And now," exclaims <span class="smcap">Smith</span>, +heartily, "in the evening we can have a rubber!" This was why +<span class="smcap">Smith</span> was so overjoyed at meeting <span class="smcap">Brown</span>; not because he was an old +friend, not even because he was a member of the same social set, but +because <i>he would make a fourth</i>! "You'll want a rubber," adds +<span class="smcap">Smith</span>, cajolingly. "If he does," interposes <span class="smcap">Puller</span>, in excellent +spirits this morning, "he'll have to go to Aix-les-Bains. They +don't do the <i>massage</i> here. Aix is the place for Rubbers." The +joke falls among us like a bombshell, and the group disperses, each +wondering how long <span class="smcap">Puller</span> is going to remain at Royat. His +movements may govern our own!</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>Uneventful! General <span class="smcap">Boulanger</span> has called here to-day. No, +not on me, but on a noble English poet, who is staying at the +Continental. From the portrait in the <i>Salon</i> I should have expected +a fine fellow of six feet high, rather Saxon and swaggery. +Had he resembled his portrait I should not have believed in him. +Now I do. There is hope for <span class="smcap">Boulanger</span>. He is a short man. +<span class="smcap">Napoleon</span> was a short man. "<i>Il grandira!</i>"</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p><i>Encore des Pensées.</i>—"There is a time to talk, and a time to +be silent." The first occasion is, when I have something to say, and +an audience to say it +to; the other is, when +I don't feel well, +and hate everybody +equally. <span class="smcap">Puller</span>, +when high-spirited, +cannot understand +this. Undergoing +these Royat Waters, +<span class="smcap">Puller</span> and myself +are on a see-saw. +When he is up, I am +down, and <i>vice versâ</i>. +After trying to +breakfast together, +and to be mutually +accommodating, +which is done in the +most disagreeable +manner possible, we separate, on account of incompatibility of +temper. Temporarily our relations are strained. This only applies +to the morning. I want to be quiet in the morning, and detest +early liveliness. <span class="smcap">Jane</span> and myself, in future, breakfast together at +our own time, and at our own table, in a corner. (And this is +also within the first seven days of the <i>traitement</i>.)</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<div class="figright" style="width:35%;"> + <a href="images/148-4.png"><img width="100%" src="images/148-4.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>The dear Old Things who won't have a Door or +Window open in our small Salle-à-manger.</p> +</div> + +<p>By the way, what a chance of <i>réclame</i> I lost on the occasion of +<span class="smcap">Boulanger's</span> visit. It never occurred to me till too late. I ought +to have been at the front door, awaiting his departure. At +the moment of his leaving, I should have left too. Then the +report could have been spread about that I had "gone out with" +General <span class="smcap">Boulanger</span>. How astonished M. <span class="smcap">Ferry</span> would have been. +"Quite a Fairy tale for him," says <span class="smcap">Puller</span>, who wishes to exhibit +his acquaintance with the proper French pronunciation of M. <span class="smcap">Ferry's</span> +name.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p><i>The Twenty-Second Morning.</i>—I shall give myself three days' leave +of absence, and revisit La Bourboule and Le Mont Dore. These two +places are higher up in the mountains of Auvergne.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p><i>La Bourboule Revisited.</i>—Very beautiful the line of country +between Royat and La Bourboule. But the latter is an out-of-the-way +place as compared with Royat, which has the great advantage +of being within a quarter of an hour's ride, or walk, of such a real +good town as Clermont-Ferrand, whereas La Bourboule and Mont +Dore are an hour-and-a-half's drive each of them from their own +station, Laqueuille, which is nothing more than a mere country +railway station, with a simple buffet, and four hours from Clermont-Ferrand, +which I suppose is the market town, and certainly the only +place of any importance to which one can go, "there and back +again," in a long day.</p> + +<p>Of course the descendants of <span class="smcap">Balbus</span>, who "<i>murum ædificavit" in</i> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="page149" id="page149"></a>[pg 149]</span> +our old Latin Grammar—(Are <span class="smcap">Balbus</span> and <span class="smcap">Caius</span> still at it in the +Grammars of the present day?)—could not leave La Bourboule alone, +and villas have been springing up in every direction. Shops, too. +Already one side of a Boulevard has been commenced, represented by +half-a-dozen superior shops, one of which, it is needless to say, is a +sweet-stuff emporium, and another a Tabac. Then they've a Hotel +de Ville at La Bourboule. In our time there was only a solitary +Gendarme, in full cocked-hat and sword, who, as an official, was a +failure, but, as a playmate of the children, and a friend of the +bonnes, was a decided success. He looked well, and inspired the +stranger on his arrival. But the feeling of awe soon wore off. +Perhaps he, also, was a <i>baigneur</i>. Invalid Gendarmes might be +usefully employed in this manner, their imposing appearance at +various watering-places would inspire confidence, while they might +be benefiting their physique. Policemen could be also effectively +used in this way. "Recruiting Sergents-de-ville" they might be +called, engaged in recruiting their own health.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>A storm of rain and wind swept us out of La Bourboule—we subsequently +heard that there was snow at Mont Dore—and drove us +post-haste back to Royat warmth—comparative warmth, that is, for +they were having two or three cold, rainy, and gusty days at Royat, +too, preceding the day fixed for the Eclipse. But such weather is +bearable at Royat, if you have once experienced it at La Bourboule. +The valley of Royat is fairly high up, and well sheltered; but as to +the situation of La Bourboule and Mont Dore, one may say, reversing +the quotation, "And in the highest heights a higher still!" +"Only not, by any means still," says <span class="smcap">Puller</span>, who knows the +country, and whom no inducement will lead away from Royat.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>I have mapped out a short tour by way of return from Royat, +which is at the disposition of anyone who is preparing to make +himself a <i>baigneur</i> and a <i>titulaire</i> next season.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>My <i>itinéraire</i> is this: London to Paris, taking care to travel by +the <i>Empress</i> from Dover to Calais. Inquire beforehand at the +L. C. and D. Station. Victoria. Go by the <span class="smcap">A.M.</span> Dine in Paris +at 8·30. In a forthcoming little work I contemplate benefiting the +travelling public generally with a few useful details, of which these +are only hints. Paris next morning, to Clermont-Ferrand, for +Royat. At Royat, I should naturally recommend the Hotel I know +best. This is the Continental. It may change hands next year; if +it changes hands, it changes heads at the same time, and my advice +may or may not be useful.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>Stay at Royat for cure; visit—as excursions easily done in a day, +when you're in fettle—La Bourboule and Mont Dore. For all information, +ask the most civil of men, and the most obliging, the agent, +who has an office in a line with the few shops situated on the upper +terrace of the Parc. He will tell you everything—and be delighted +to do it.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>By the way, when once you've settled your tour, take my advice, +and visit Messrs. <span class="smcap">Cook</span>, of Ludgate Circus. Provide yourself with +all your tickets beforehand. It will save you a heap of trouble +afterwards. Too many Cooks can't spoil your journey, as you will +take them on the "play or pay" system, and it binds you to +nothing, except, in case of not using them, a slight discount; +whereas, on the other hand, it helps the person who is at all "infirm +of purpose" to make up his mind, and keeps him to his original plan, +which any experienced traveller will agree with me in saying, is, nine +times out of ten, the wisest and best course to pursue. Of this more +anon in my forthcoming <i>parvum opus</i> on this and cognate subjects.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>Royat (if you are a <i>baigneur</i>, recommended here by your Doctor) +is an easy place to get to, and to get away from. My friend <span class="smcap">Skurrie</span>, +who, immediately he has arrived at any place, passes all his time +there in consulting guide-books, maps, <i>Bradshaws</i>, <span class="smcap">Cook's</span> tourist +books, and local <i>indicateurs</i>, with a view to see how he can best get +away, comes to me with a paper full of closely-written details, and +says, "Here's my plan:—Royat, Lyon (why do we put an 's' on to +it, and make it 'Lyons?' it would be as sensible for the French to +call Liverpool 'Liverpools,' or Manchester 'Manchesters.' And why +can't the French call London 'London,' instead of 'Londres?')—then +Aix-les-Bains (for a <i>massage</i>, and an excursion or two) ... then +Geneva. This is, if you've got time to spare. If not, in a week you +can make a really refreshing tour by pushing on from Lyon to +Geneva, to Bâle, to Heidelberg, to Mainz, down the Rhine to Cologne, +then Antwerp, Flushing, Queenborough. This will complete your +week, and you will return to England with a store of variety to last +you a year."</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="smcap">Valuable Mem. for a certain Architect in his next Building +Operation.</span>—"To construct a much-more-<i>Exiter</i> Theatre than +the one recently destroyed by fire."</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>OUR ADVERTISERS.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Theatrical and Re-assuring</span>.</h3> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE.—The sole +Lessee and Manager begs to inform his patrons, the public, +that he has left no stone unturned to render it by a long way.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE SAFEST THEATRE IN THE TWO HEMISPHERES. +The mere perusal of the advertisements appearing in the daily +press, furnishing the intending audience with a complete handbook +of escape in the event of any sudden catastrophe, must, he feels, +afford them.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>REAL PLEASURE, which, owing to the precautionary measures +he has taken for their protection, they may genuinely experience +when securing their places for a performance in the unique +fireproof auditorium.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE EXITS.—A +hop, skip and a jump will take any member of the audience +from any part of the house directly into the street outside in five +seconds.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE has all its doors +taken off their hinges the moment the performance commences.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE possesses concrete +Stalls.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE, has its private +boxes constructed with perforated shower-bath ceilings that +drench the occupants without ceasing the entire evening.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE.—An "Apprehensive +Playgoer" writes:—"We were in one continual +downpour from the rising of the Curtain to its fall; and though we +are all still suffering from rheumatism, our party was enabled, with +the aid of umbrellas and waterproofs, to enjoy the evening's entertainment +with a sense of security that was as novel as it was +refreshing."</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE.—The Management +provides everyone paying at the doors with a Fire-Escape, +that can be left outside, and a Life Assurance Policy, available +for the duration of the evening's entertainment.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE has, in every +gangway, a steam fire-engine served by a fully-equipped +complement of members of the London Fire Brigade, who inspire +the audience with confidence by, from time to time, playing on +portions of them with a five-inch hose.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE.—People recommended +a cold <i>douche</i> by their medical adviser, cannot do +better than secure a front seat in the upper boxes.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE is provided +with cast-iron scenery, and has, as its Stage Manager, a +retired Fire-King.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE is surrounded +by a network of balconies, affording access, by iron staircases, +to the roofs of all the adjacent houses in the neighbourhood.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE has in effect +no walls, and is practically all "Exit."</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE can be virtually +emptied before a checktaker could say "Jack Robinson!"</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE.—A "<span class="smcap">Nervous +First-Nighter</span>" writes: "Being seized the other evening in +the middle of the front row of the stalls with a purely private and +personal, but uncontrollable panic, I rushed from my place, and +made with all the haste I could command for the street. Though, in my +hurry I found it necessary to have a couple of vigorous fights of several +rounds each with two box-keepers in succession, which resulted in +my being eventually removed from the house, struggling with three +policemen, six refreshment-stall-keepers, and nine firemen, it only +took me twenty-seven minutes and a half from the time I started +from my place inside till I found myself deposited in the midst of a +jeering crowd on the steps of the principal entrance."</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE will set up +chronic lumbago in the Dress Circle.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE is the dampest +Public Lounge in Europe.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE may be visited +freely by pleasure-seekers, in whom, as Members of Burial +Clubs, their families take a lively interest.</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>REAL PLEASURE, to be experienced nightly by those who pay +a visit to</p> + +<hr class="short" /> + +<p>THE ROYAL UNINFLAMMABLE THEATRE, affording the +only recognised Incombustible Entertainment on record.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page150" id="page150"></a>[pg 150]</span></p> + +<div class="figright" style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/150.png"><img width="100%" src="images/150.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>SEA-SIDE WEATHER STUDIES. STORMY. THREE PIC-NIC PARTIES SUDDENLY INTERRUPTED BY THE RAIN.</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>WANTED, A THESEUS;</h2> + +<h3><i>Or, The Betting Centaurs of the Race-Course and +the Cinder-Path.</i></h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p> +<span class="smcap">Half</span>-man, half-horse! A fitting blend indeed</p> +<p>To type the monster of a modern breed,</p> +<p>The mongrel thing, half Houyhnhnm to the view,</p> +<p>But fouler than the Swiftian Yahoo,</p> +<p>Who makes the race-course rascaldom's resort,</p> +<p>And shames the manliest scenes of British Sport.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Sport? The Cad-Centaur hath as little sense</p> +<p>Of the fine joy to which he makes pretence,</p> +<p>The English glorying in a fair-fought fight,</p> +<p>A well-run race, a show of speed or sleight,</p> +<p>As of the love that males of British breed</p> +<p>Moves in the presence of a gallant steed.</p> +<p>No Sportsman's fervour his; he never thrills</p> +<p>To the contagious sentiment that fills</p> +<p>The solid Saxon when, with thundering stride,</p> +<p><i>Ormonde</i> and <i>Minting</i> struggle side by side;</p> +<p>When Cam and Isis prow to prow contend;</p> +<p>When <span class="smcap">George</span> and <span class="smcap">Cumming</span> strain from end to end</p> +<p>Of the long cinder-path in panting speed;</p> +<p>When wheelmen swift alternate lag and lead;</p> +<p>When white-plumed yachts spread emulative wings</p> +<p>To the salt wind that through the cordage sings;</p> +<p>When Notts and Surrey fight for pride of place,</p> +<p>Or the ring cheers the "many-centuried" <span class="smcap">Grace</span>.</p> +<p>Bound by his betting-book, the cynic churl—</p> +<p>With coarse-gemmed hands and greasy frontal curl,</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>When fortune smiles, or frowsy when she frowns</p> +<p>As wolfish waifs that haunt the slums of towns—</p> +<p>Is brute all through and ever; blatant, base,</p> +<p>"Rough" in his speech, and rascal in his face;</p> +<p>A radiant rowdy now when some base stroke</p> +<p>Of juggling skill has flushed him; now "stone-broke,"</p> +<p>Black-hearted, beetle-browed, true gaolbird type,</p> +<p>Reeling and reeking, ever ruffian-ripe</p> +<p>For any coward act of ruthless greed</p> +<p>That craft may scheme, or violence may speed.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p class="i2">Curse of the race-course and the cinder-path!</p> +<p>Roughdom no dirtier, darker danger hath,—</p> +<p>Roughdom, that gulf of guilt with peril rife,</p> +<p>That lurks beneath our glittering civic life,</p> +<p>Like fires beneath the smiling southern wave,</p> +<p>Which, given volcanic vent, make earth a grave</p> +<p>And sea a sepulchre. Top bold it grows</p> +<p>In the neglect of its appointed foes,</p> +<p>The modern Fenris-wolf whose ravening maw</p> +<p>Needs muzzling with the Gleipner-chain of Law.</p> +<p><span class="smcap">Eurytus</span> at the banquet gorged with glee;</p> +<p>"Most savage of the savage Centaurs," he,</p> +<p>As <span class="smcap">Ovid</span> sings. <span class="smcap">Pirithous</span>, lulled to trust,</p> +<p>Forgot the secret strength the lurking lust,</p> +<p>Until wine-freed and fury-fired they broke,</p> +<p>From sleek civility's too slender yoke;</p> +<p>Then tables overset, and feast disturbed,</p> +<p>Destructiveness unleashed, and wrath uncurbed,</p> +<p>"The appearance of a captured city," lent</p> +<p>To the late scene of concord and content;</p> +<p>Then disappointed craft and thwarted greed,</p> +<p>Broke law's frail barriers like a trampled reed,</p> +<p>And the tumultuous storm of wild desire,</p> +<p>Found vent in rioting force and ravening fire.</p> +</div> + +<div class="stanza"> +<p>Is there no moral in the classic tale?</p> +<p>Let vigilance but sleep and vigour fail,</p> +<p>Authority of prescience be bereft,</p> +<p>And, like <span class="smcap">Hippodamia</span>, Law is left</p> +<p>To battling, fierce brute forces, prone to blood,</p> +<p>Civilisation's coarser Centaur-brood.</p> +<p>Of old the heroes conquered. At the stroke</p> +<p>Of angered <span class="smcap">Theseus'</span> club of knotted oak,</p> +<p>The Centaurs feared and fled toward the sea,</p> +<p>Pursued by the triumphant Lapithæ,</p> +<p>Law's Lapithæ lay prone in our late fray.</p> +<p>Do we not need a <span class="smcap">Theseus</span> then to-day?</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>NOT A "DEUS EX MACHINÂ."</h2> + +<p><span class="smcap">Some</span> philosophers are very anxious to +demonstrate that man is a mere Automaton. +A man, however, can at any rate be regulated, +and, at need, "run in," which it seems that +the Automatic Cigarette and Sweetmeat +Machines now so much in vogue cannot. +Naughty little boys are convicted of beguiling +them of Butter Scotch by means of discs of +card and base metal, instead of coins of the +realm. On the other hand the Automata are +charged with absorbing the coppers of honest +would-be purchasers without rendering up +the proper portion of Toffee or Tobacco. +Machines which are at once dishonest themselves +and the cause of dishonesty in others +can hardly be looked upon as an improvement +upon living vendors, who if they have little +conscience to appeal to, have at least persons +to be punished.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page151" id="page151"></a>[pg 151]</span></p> + +<div class="figright" style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/151.png"><img width="100%" src="images/151.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>WANTED, A THESEUS; OR, THE BETTING CENTAUR.</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page152" id="page152"></a></span></p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page153" id="page153"></a>[pg 153]</span></p> + +<h2>HYGIENIC.</h2> + +<p>No; that sickly-looking child that you notice entering +the Board School is not, as you imagine, "pining for the +fresh air of the country." He is recovering from an acute +attack of scarlet fever, and is described by his fond parent +as "peeling wonderful."</p> + +<p>"Why does the medical man who attends the case,"—you +ask—"not give instant notice to the Local Sanitary Authority, +the Parish Doctor, the School Board Officials, and +the nearest Fever Hospital?" Because self-preservation (or +preserving a case for oneself) is the first law of nature, and +also because in London neither the registration nor the +isolation of infectious disease is considered at all essential.</p> + +<p>Of course it is to be regretted that some of the fever patients +who were taken the other day first to the West +London Hospital in Hammersmith, then to the London Fever +Hospital, and afterwards to Stockwell, and who finally—as +those institutions were quite full—spent the night in a +draughty corridor of the Homerton work-house, should have +collapsed owing to exhaustion; but then what an admirable +thing it is that there should be so many places for the reception—or +rejection—of patients, and that they should be scattered +all over the Metropolis!</p> + +<p>It is really rather irritating that the laundress, whose +services we have had to dispense with owing to five of her +children being down with typhus, should call us "selfish" +and "finicking," and threaten to summon us to the Police +Court for interfering with her business.</p> + +<p>Yes, a trip by steamer on the Thames can be confidently +recommended to delicate persons in search of health. +Wrap the whole face in cotton-wool, which has previously +been soaked in some powerful disinfectant. Get the man at +the wheel to sprinkle your clothing every ten minutes with +the anti-cholera mixture. When passing "Barking Outfall," +be particularly careful to go below, and keep your +head completely buried in a basin containing a mixture of +smelling salts in solution and Eau de Cologne. Beyond a +sore throat for a week or two, you will probably—thanks to +these precautions—experience no evil results.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h3>SUBJECT FOR A GRAND HISTORICAL CARTOON.</h3> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:60%;"> + <a href="images/153-1.png"><img width="100%" src="images/153-1.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>THE SULTAN IMPLORING MR. PUNCH NOT "TO TAKE HIM OFF." +(See Daily papers.)</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<h2>ALL IN PLAY.</h2> + +<p> +<span class="smcap">My Dear Mr. Punch,</span></p> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:25%;"> + <a href="images/153-2.png"><img width="100%" src="images/153-2.png" alt="" /></a> +</div> + +<p><span class="smcap">I think</span>, however pleased you may look in your stall while +listening to the charming music of Mr. <span class="smcap">Cellier</span> in <i>The Sultan of +Mocha</i>, you will agree with me that that gifted gentleman has been +most unfortunate in the selection of his +<i>librettos</i>. <i>Dorothy</i> was certainly feeble, +but the revived opera at the Strand is +feebler still. I admit that the work is +well staged, equally as to scenery, +dresses, and <i>mise-en-scène</i>, but the +plot and the dialogue are unworthy of +serious criticism. When the curtain +rose upon a capital "set" of the +Thames near Greenwich Hospital, +when there were a lively chorus and a +pretty dance, I imagined I was "in" +for what other occupants of the stalls +would have called "a real good thing." +But the characters had only to talk to +cause a sense of depression to envelope +me, that nearly moved me to tears. +Ponderous allusions to such recent +"topics" as Lord <span class="smcap">Charles Beresford's</span> +signal from the Royal Yacht at the +Naval Review, the <span class="smcap">Endacott</span> matter and Turkish impecuniosity now +and again attracted my attention, and I felt that I would give worlds +to slumber as does the hero in the Third Act who appropriately sings +himself to sleep. But Mr. <span class="smcap">Cellier's</span> music made a success of <i>Dorothy</i>, +and it is not impossible that "the movement may be continued" in +the <i>Sultan of Mocha</i>. Of those who take part in the performance I +may single out Mr. <span class="smcap">Charles Danby</span> as fairly amusing. I do not +remember to have seen him before, and it is to be trusted +that the applause of a London audience will not cause him to +favour a policy of exaggeration. So far he is good—not too good +(as Mr. <span class="smcap">Brough</span> was wont to amusingly observe), but just good +enough. The voice of Miss <span class="smcap">Violet Cameron</span> is as strong as +ever, but at times I traced a <i>tremolo</i> that might wisely be abandoned. +Mr. <span class="smcap">C. H. Kenney</span> has good intentions, and no doubt some +day will be seen and heard to greater advantage. I was not surprised +to learn from the playbill that as the <i>Sultan</i> Mr. <span class="smcap">Ernest +Birch</span> was making "his first appearance." Of the remainder of the +cast, Mr. <span class="smcap">Bracy</span> sang well and acted fairly as "a heart of oak," and +the sailors, villagers, and slaves were sufficiently comely to satisfy +the requirements of a Strand audience met together to enjoy an +<i>opéra bouffe</i>.</p> + +<p>A new <i>lever de rideau</i> added to the programme of the Globe has +called attention to the merry moments of <i>The Doctor</i>. From the +first this piece went wonderfully well—now it goes better than ever. +The house is nightly full of patients, who seem willingly to give +themselves over to what I may call "the laughter cure and joke +treatment."</p> + +<p><i>Dandy Dick</i> has moved from the Court to King William Street, +Strand. Mr. <span class="smcap">Clayton</span>, capital as the Dean, and Mrs. <span class="smcap">John Wood</span> +inimitable, exquisite, everything-superlative as the lady horse-owner. +Mr. <span class="smcap">Bishop</span> now plays Mr. <span class="smcap">Arthur Cecil's</span> part in a +manner that reduces our regret at the absence of his predecessor to a +minimum.</p> + +<p>A wonderful piece called <i>Racing</i>, by the "Great <span class="smcap">Macdermott</span>," is +being performed at Islington. It is composed of a mixture of Comedy +and Tragedy. Both ingredients are equally funny.</p> + +<p>Removing my <i>gibus</i>, and laying down my programmes and opera-glasses, +I again sign myself <span class="smcap">One Who Has Gone to Pieces.</span></p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>GARDEN TALK.</h2> + +<p><i>As arranged for the neighbourhood of the Round Pond under existing +circumstances.</i></p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><span class="smcap">Can</span> this be Kensington Gardens, or is it Tophet? This perfume is scarcely suggestive of flowers.</p> +<p>How nicely this little girl is burying the dead cat.</p> +<p>What a game at hide and seek those boys in white sailor suits are having in that reeking garbage.</p> +<p>It is strange, but the morning breeze is laden with <i>Bacteria</i>.</p> +<p>Why, that is the fifth dust-cart that has emptied its contents here this afternoon.</p> +<p>How merrily the dustmen are spreading the refuse over the surface of the grass.</p> +<p>The haggard Park-keeper seems to be growing paler and palerevery day.</p> +<p>I wonder why that entire family of children have broken out into green spots.</p> +<p>Who would have thought that the baby that had been brought</p> +<p>here for a little fresh air would have turned blue in the perambulator!</p> +<p>Who is really responsible for the conversion of an open pleasure-ground into a deadly centre for the dissemination of fever?</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page154" id="page154"></a>[pg 154]</span></p> + +<h2>A PRETTY KETTLE OF FISH.</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:100%;"> + <a href="images/154.png"><img width="100%" src="images/154.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>"The King of the Belgians is understood to be acting as his own Ambassador in the matter of the North Sea Fishery disputes. His visit to this country is stated to have for its object the prevention of future conflicts between British and Belgian fishermen in the North Sea."—Times.</p> +</div> + +<p> +<i>Mr. Punch.</i> Ah happy to see you, <i>mon Chef</i>! Here's a mess!</p> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p>You'll soon put it all straight, Sir; you couldn't do less.</p> +<p>Your people you'll find are entirely to blame</p> +<p>For the kettle o'erboiling, the steam and the flame.</p> +<p>What is there in fish that in every quarter</p> +<p>So leads—in non-natural sense—to hot water?</p> +<p>And why should a Billingsgate dame, or a trawler,</p> +<p>Or Belgian or British, so oft be a brawler?</p> +<p>A Saint once held forth, Sir, the fishes to teach.</p> +<p>What a sermon to us, Sir, the fishes might preach!</p> +<p>The sea's lavish harvest was certainly sent</p> +<p>Man's palate to please, and his hunger content;</p> +<p>Not, <i>not</i>, my dear <i>Chef</i>, as mere strife-stirring spoil</p> +<p>His kitchen to slop, and his cooks to embroil.</p> +<p><i>Verb. sap.</i>—you are sapient, I know, like your Sire—</p> +<p>And—you'll take this strange "kettle of fish" off the fire!</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Mighty Polite.</span>"—Last week Mr. <span class="smcap">Harrington</span>, Barrister-at-Law +(in Ireland), was called to account by Mr. <span class="smcap">Eaton</span>, and threatened +with removal from the Court over which that Magistrate presided, +for conduct unworthy of a Counsel. Had "the learned gentleman" +had the advantage of the influence of another Eton earlier in his +career, his manners would doubtless have been less deficient in polish.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="smcap">A Plank of the Wrong Platform.</span>—The Plank-bed.</p> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page155" id="page155"></a>[pg 155]</span></p> + +<h2>(NOT AT ALL) BAD HOMBURG.</h2> + +<h3><span class="smcap">Travel Notes, from the Diary of Toby, M.P.</span></h3> + +<p><i>Thursday.</i>—Homburg emptying and re-filling; but +former process decidedly winning race. Change in class +of company moreover striking. Natural order of things +here reversed. The butterfly disappears and the grub +succeeds. Now have come to us young men and maidens +from the country. Elderly burgesses, wives and families +from Frankfort, Coblentz and more distant Cologne. +Prices specially designed for English falling away. +Principal hotels humbly proffer pension at ten marks a +day, and proprietors are accused of rapacity by their +fellow-countrymen.</p> + +<p>At <i>table d'hôte</i> last night at Hotel Russie, overheard +one of those "things one would rather not have said," +feigned by the fancy of English Artist of world-wide +renown. Gentleman of distinguished appearance opens +conversation with lady on his left:</p> + +<p><i>He.</i> "Homburg still seems very full."</p> + +<p><i>She.</i> "Yes, but they're a horrid lot now arriving compared +with those who have just left; doncha think so?"</p> + +<p><i>He.</i> "Really, Madam, I cannot say, as I reached +here only this afternoon." Pause in conversation.</p> + +<p><i>Friday.</i>—There are compensations for everything. +Weather has not permanently recovered earthquake-breaking-up +on day of our arrival. Still sun occasionally +comes out, making it worth while to be on foot at +seven o'clock in the night, when the sky is an unclouded +arc of blue, and the sun sparkles on dewy grass. Pleasant +then at noon, or afternoon, to stroll about under the lindens +in the Park, still full of leaves, or to lounge in Tennis +grounds watching the play. Oftener it is cold and rainy, +and here's where philosophic mind finds its recompense. +Homburg perhaps most open-windowed town north of +Alps. On sunny days not a window in any house closed. +Every home has its piano, more or less in tune. Every +piano has its relays of players. Pianist at No. 14<span class="smcap">A</span>, +Untere Promenade, cannot help hearing pianiste next +door, and plays loud to hold the field. Next door hears +practitioner on other side, and plays louder still; so it +goes on all up and down the street. Here and there the +uproar is pierced by the shrill voice of a singer. It is the +same in the next street, and in the street after, till all +Homburg becomes a Pandemonium of piano-pounding. +Now I sit in my room, with windows closed, listening +with gratitude to the pelting rain and the soughing of +the wind through the dripping trees. All other windows +are necessarily closed, and above wind and rain is +audible undertone of universal piano-playing, like the +sound of a barrel-organ in far-off back-street. Perhaps +not quite worth while coming all the way to Homburg +for; but I like to make best of things.</p> + +<p><i>Monday.</i>—His Serene and Blind Highness still here, +dutifully taking waters, and pluckily striding forth to +complete regulation-turns. No one would guess at his +affliction, except upon close observation. A photographic +portrait of him on view in one of the Studios here, in +which he looks forth open-eyed as keenest-sighted of +his subjects; a kindly, genial, brave-hearted gentleman. +All unconscious, he is made the occasion for a little satire +on Royalty which would have delighted <span class="smcap">Thackeray</span>. To +him ladies, entering into passing conversation, curtsey; +gentlemen doff their hats; and <i>Jeames de la Pluche</i> +stands bare-headed as he hands him glass of water from +spring. It is horrible to think that <span class="smcap">Jeames</span> might, with +impunity—there being no on-lookers—shake his fist +playfully in his Royal Master's face. Hope he never +takes base advantage of his opportunities. But there is +a look in <span class="smcap">Jeames's</span> eye, as he hands the glass of water, +which melikes not.</p> + +<p><i>Tuesday.</i>—Between one and two in afternoon of revolving +days, great centre of life in Homburg is Madame +<span class="smcap">Brahe's</span> little shop in Louisen-strasse; little only on +first glance: contains unsuspected recesses in rear, +whither surplus population flows. A model place for +light luncheon such as Dr. <span class="smcap">Deetz</span> ordains: also for English +visitors convenient exchange and mart for latest +gossip and display of newest dresses. Whilst season in +full tide, Madame <span class="smcap">Brahe's</span> painfully reminiscent of Bourse +at Paris. Evil communications have wrought proverbial +effect; Germans feared throughout Europe by reason of +their conversational shouting; but English ladies, and +some gentlemen, met for luncheon <i>chez</i> Madame <span class="smcap">Brahe</span>, +might give them odds and beat them. Three or four +girls, decently spoken at home one hopes, seated at small table here, carry on +conversation at top of voice; many small tables, and as many friendly parties; +one group not to be shouted down by a neighbour. British ladies never +acknowledge defeat; competition kept up all round, till, dazed and deafened, +the stray traveller gulps down luncheon and rushes into street.</p> + +<p><i>Wednesday.</i>—Homburg really not Bad at all, but best part of it lies outside. +To the north are delightful walks through illimitable beech woods and pathless +pine forests. Messrs. <span class="smcap">Blanc</span>, who created the place, knew very well ruling +passion of gamester. The green tables, the sound of the roulette ball, the pattern +on the cards, and the brilliantly-lighted Casino, only ostensibly attractions for +him. What his heart desires is opportunity for communing with Nature. The +solemn silence of the beech wood, the fragrance of the pines, the modest beauty of +the wild flowers that gem the edges of the wood, are what he really hankers for. +So Messrs. <span class="smcap">Blanc</span> took surrounding country in hand; planted splendid pine woods +with delightful footpaths, with benches wooing the pensive and wearied traveller.</p> + +<p>Walked to-day by devious shady ways to Friedrichsdorf, a few miles out; a +quaint old-world village of charmingly-tiled houses, straggling down a +villanously paved street. Only one street in Friedrichsdorf, but more in it than +meets the eye. Houses have way of playing hide-and-seek; you look up passage +that seems entry to back of premises, when, lo! there lurks a complete house, +with tiny casement-windows, and graciously-sloped red-tiled roof. <span class="smcap">Jessie +Collings</span> ought to know Friedrichsdorf, and Right Hon. <span class="smcap">Ritchie</span> would find +in it encouragement for Amended Allotments Bill. It is, like many other villages +hereabout, home of colony of small land-proprietors. All the rich and smiling +country that lies around is theirs. Passed them working in the fields, men and +women, comfortably dressed, sturdy, and apparently happy as day is long. +Every man has at least his three acres, many more; the cow is also there, but is +chiefly in shaft of cart or plough. As we picked way down awesome street, +Friedrichsdorf, save for few children and old men, seemed deserted village; +all able-bodied inhabitants at work in field. By-and-by, when sun goes down, +they come trooping home, tramping down stony street, a jocund throng.</p> + +<p><i>Thursday.</i>—Rain departed; for days in succession Homburg been at its best; +almost seems like early spring, save that we still have roses; sun shining in +cloudless sky, trees still rich in foliage; grass thick and green, with here and +there abundant crocuses. Still emptying process going on with increasing +rapidity. "Lawn tennis," writes anonymous author of <i>Miss Bayle's Romance</i>, +"has become the outdoor dissipation at Homburg, and Dutch Top the indoor +one." Only stray couples are left to frequent the courts on the tennis-ground, +and the rattle of the Dutch Top is happily silenced. Still the band plays thrice a +day. Springs go on like The Brook, and the few who are left begin to think +that, after all, Homburg more enjoyable without the crowd than with it.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>A STRAIGHT TIP.</h2> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width:60%;"> + <a href="images/155.png"><img width="100%" src="images/155.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>"A—a—Boy! Have you seen any Birds about here this Morning?"</p> + <p>"Ees, Zur! I seed a lot of 'em about 'arf an hour back, a sittin' on the Telegraph Woires!"</p> +</div> + +<hr /> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page156" id="page156"></a>[pg 156]</span></p> + +<h2>SOME NOTES AT STARMOUTH.</h2> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/156-1.png"><img width="100%" src="images/156-1.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>Chill-sea.</p> +</div> + +<p><span class="smcap">My</span> Nautical Drama is not making much progress. Must go +more amongst men and things. That is the only way to gain ideas. +World full of <i>dramatis personæ</i>, who will provide their own dialogue, +if you can only find them a good part. Interview old sailor; capital +character—the very man to be "discovered drinking," (which must +have frequently occurred to him) as curtain rises. Talk to him half-an-hour, +but without hearing a single +really telling line. Half-a-crown wasted! +Pleasure-boat just "putting off,"—which +is naturally a dilatory operation—Skipper +says they are only waiting +for me. I hesitate; does Art demand +this sacrifice? Hitherto my voyages +have been chiefly confined to journeyings +in a penny steamer from Chelsea +to Lambeth. But can I reasonably +expect to become familiar with marine +matters without some actual experience? +If M. <span class="smcap">Zola</span> could go and live for weeks +down a coal-mine, surely I may trust myself in a pleasure-boat for +one short half-hour? It is only sixpence.</p> + +<p>I subdue my diffidence, and embark—that is, I fall over the +stern, and stumble to the only vacant seat—a thwart in the middle. +Should have <i>preferred</i> a place nearer the gunwale.... We are off; +boat pretty full, twenty-four passengers, to crew of two boatmen and +a cornet-player. People enjoying what they call "a blow on the +jetty," wave handkerchiefs to us as we pass. Curious, this blind impulse +to wave greetings to perfect strangers—does it spring from +vague enthusiasm for humanity? Chatty old gentleman next to me +<i>will</i> talk: he tells me confidentially that it is a singular thing, but it +does so happen that he has never been on the sea without an accident +of some sort occurring,—never! There is no superstitious nonsense +about him, it seems, so he thought he would "chance it" once more. +Very creditable—but more considerate if he would chance it in a +canoe. The Cornet-player quite a cockney Arion (though nobody +thinks, somehow, of pitching him overboard). He performs +appropriate airs during trip. <i>A Life on the Ocean Wave</i>, as we +start; <i>Only a Pansy Blossom</i>, (though I don't see the precise connection +of this) as we tack; and the <i>Harbour Lights</i>, when we turn. +Somehow, this rather vulgarises the Ocean—for me. Sea fortunately +smooth: nobody at all unwell. I feel nothing—except perhaps a +growing conviction that a very young infant opposite should not be +permitted to eat a jam-puff in public. Boatmen use no nautical expressions. +Passengers lively at first, though, by time we turn, the +expression on our features, like that of young lady who wore the +wreath of roses, seems "more thoughtful than before." We are +close in now—the musician is sending round his hat. Resent this +privately, it is <i>not</i> seamanlike! In beaching, yacht swings round +with her broadside to breakers, causing sudden wave to drench the +Jonah gentleman and myself before we can disembark. He seems +rather gratified than otherwise by so apposite an illustration of his +ill-luck. The brown-eyed girl on sands watches me alight—on all +fours, dripping. Sea-trip a mistake, I feel damped rather than fired.</p> + +<p><i>On the Beach again.</i>—Cheap photographers, galvanic machines, +chiropodist, tea-stalls, grim old ladies eating shrimps, as if they were +cherries, out of paper bags. Open-air +music-hall, where comic songs are +shouted from platform by dreary men in +flaxen wigs to harmonium—this always +crowded. Enjoyment at Starmouth +hearty perhaps—but hardly refined. +Constantly haunted by song from open-air +platform about "The Gurls," with +refrain describing how "they squeeze, +And they tease. And they soy, 'Oh, +what joy!'" (or perhaps it should be—"sigh, +'Oh, what jy!'") Either +way, it has hit the popular taste here. +I may be prudish—but, even if a couple <i>are</i> engaged, it seems to me +that a nicer sense of propriety would deter them from dozing in a +sand-pit, <i>coram publico</i>, with their arms around one another's +neck. Nobody thinks anything of this at Starmouth, however.</p> + +<div class="figright" style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/156-2.png"><img width="100%" src="images/156-2.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>Lamb-bath.</p> +</div> + +<p>What a matter of circumstance are our prejudices! I should once +have thought that nothing would induce me to drive about on a +<i>char-à-banc</i>—like one of the band in a circus procession. Yet I +have just returned from a drive in one—and enjoyed it!</p> + +<p>She—my brown-eyed divinity of the Phrenology lecture—was on +one of the seats, which redeemed a drive otherwise prosaic. We +went to ruined castle; scenery unpicturesque (she showed, I thought, +delicate perception of this by reading <i>Family Herald</i> all the way). +Starmouth children ran by side of carriage, turning head-over-heels, +and gasping comic songs for coppers. Had last glimpse of them +standing gratefully in a row on their heads.</p> + +<p>We did not alight to see castle, as coachman said there was +nothing to see. On way home, conductor made collection on his +own account. (The hat is not much worn at Starmouth.) Yet I +was happy—I have made <i>her</i> acquaintance! Charming as she is +beautiful—so simple and <i>naïve</i> in the few remarks she made. She +is called <span class="smcap">Louise</span>, and the person I took to be her maid is, it appears, +her aunt—a most shrewd and sensible old lady, full of quiet good +sense. We became friendly at once.</p> + +<p><i>A Week later.</i>—No time for notes lately—too absorbed in study of +<span class="smcap">Louise's</span> character—most complex and fascinating. Am I drifting +into love? Why not—who could help +it? The rank she occupies is not, perhaps, +a lofty one; but at least there +is nothing unfeminine in the duty of +providing old ladies and children with +light refreshment from behind the +counter of an Oxford Street confectioner. +And her tastes are refined; she +is a gentlewoman by nature and instinct. +The lady-phrenologist has +delineated her (privately), and declared +that <span class="smcap">Louise</span> "could learn science easily, +and play the piano, if she turns her +attention that way." As a matter of fact, she has not, because +neither science nor the piano is in demand at a confectioner's; but +still she undoubtedly possesses a superior intellect; no ordinary girl +would enter into the Nautical Drama, for instance, as she does.</p> + +<div class="figleft" style="width:20%;"> + <a href="images/156-3.png"><img width="100%" src="images/156-3.png" alt="" /></a> + <p>"A Blow on the Jetty."</p> +</div> + +<p>We have been to see <i>Caste</i> at the theatre. <span class="smcap">Louise</span> very grave and +critical; she only laughed once, and that was when <i>Eccles</i> blew +rather loudly down his pipe to clear it. So many girls have an inconvenient +sense of humour—quite unsexing, I have always thought.</p> + +<p>Her aunt is not precisely patrician in her manner, which would be +totally out of place in a Fancy Wool Repository—but, after all, I +shall not have to go through any experiences like poor <i>D'Alroy's</i>. +And I am sure my uncle's heart will warm to <span class="smcap">Louise</span> at once. Why +hesitate, then? I will not.</p> + +<p>I have taken the plunge—<span class="smcap">Louise</span> has consented. She tells me +that she was won by my appearance in the Professor's chair, and +still more by the character he gave me. How our choicest blessings +masquerade! Drama, for the moment, in the background—but +only apparently so. Literature has no stimulus like love, and I am +constantly talking the play over with <span class="smcap">Louise</span>. She has made one +suggestion that convinces me she has a keen sense of dramatic effect—a +hornpipe in one of the Acts. I am to read her the first Scene, as +soon as it is put into shape.</p> + +<p>Her brother "<span class="smcap">Alf</span>" is expected down to-night. <span class="smcap">Louise</span> is certain +we shall "take to one another," he has "such spirits," and is "quite +a cure." Always thought a "cure" was a kind of jumping clown—but +<span class="smcap">Alf</span> is a clerk in a leading establishment, somewhere in +Marylebone—a steady, industrious young fellow, no doubt. However, +I shall meet him to-morrow.</p> + +<p>I <i>have</i> met <span class="smcap">Alf</span>. Although I love <span class="smcap">Louise</span> with the first real +passion of a lifetime, I cannot disguise from myself that her brother +is an unmitigated Blazer. I would almost rather that he did not take +to me—but he does. In half an hour he is addressing me as "Old +gooseberry-pudden." If he is going to do this often, I shall have to +hint that I do not like it.</p> + +<p>I have been strolling with him on the sands, where he has already +found several of his acquaintance. He <i>will</i> introduce me to all of +them. Hearty, high-spirited fellows, full of rough but genuine +British humour. From the manner in which they all inquire "How +my bumps are getting on," I infer they were amongst Professor +<span class="smcap">Skittles</span>' audience the other day. But they mean to be friendly +enough—I must not let them see how they annoy me.... It is +absurd to be stiff at Starmouth.</p> + +<hr /> + +<h2>THE TYMPANUM.</h2> + +<h3>(<i>A Remonstrance at a Railway Station.</i>)</h3> + +<div class="poem"> +<div class="stanza"> +<p><i>The</i> tympanum! The tympanum!</p> +<p>Oh! who will save the aural drum</p> +<p>By softening to some gentler squeak</p> +<p>The whistle's shrill <i>staccato</i> shriek?</p> +<p>Oh! Engine-driver, did you know</p> +<p>How your blast smites one like a blow,</p> +<p>An inward shock, a racking strain,</p> +<p>A knife-like thrust of poignant pain,</p> +<p>Whilst groping through the tunnel murk</p> +<p>You would not with that fiendish jerk</p> +<p>Let out that <i>sudden</i> blast of steam</p> +<p>Whose screaming almost makes <i>us</i> scream.</p> +<p>Thy whistle weird perchance may be</p> +<p>A sad and sore necessity,</p> +<p>But cannot Law and sense combine</p> +<p>To—well, in short, to draw the line?—</p> +<p>Across the open let it shrill</p> +<p>From moor to moor, from hill to hill,</p> +<p>But in the tunnel's crypt-like gloom,</p> +<p>The Station's cramped reverberant room,</p> +<p>A gentler, <i>graduated</i> blast!</p> +<p>Do let it loose, whilst dashing past,</p> +<p>So shall it spare us many a pang;</p> +<p>That dread explosive bursting "bang"</p> +<p>Which nearly splits the aural drum,</p> +<p>The poor long-suffering tympanum!</p> +</div> +</div> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<blockquote class="note">NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will +in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule +there will be no exception.</blockquote> + +<hr class="full" /> + +<h2>TRANSCRIBER NOTES:</h2> + +<p>On page 149, a period was added after "by a long way".</p> + +<p>On page 149, a period was added after "he feels, afford them".</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. +93., October 1, 1887, by Various + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH *** + +***** This file should be named 36537-h.htm or 36537-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/5/3/36537/ + +Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Malcolm Farmer, +Ernest Schaal, and the Online Distributed Proofreading +Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + +</body> +</html> diff --git a/36537-h/images/145-1.png b/36537-h/images/145-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d6ac17e --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/145-1.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/145-2.png b/36537-h/images/145-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..11c24aa --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/145-2.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/146.png b/36537-h/images/146.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c712635 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/146.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/147.png b/36537-h/images/147.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..93118f1 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/147.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/148-1.png b/36537-h/images/148-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6cbf898 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/148-1.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/148-2.png b/36537-h/images/148-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..938cca9 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/148-2.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/148-3.png b/36537-h/images/148-3.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..79b59bd --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/148-3.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/148-4.png b/36537-h/images/148-4.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c21e49b --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/148-4.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/150.png b/36537-h/images/150.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f209a6c --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/150.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/151.png b/36537-h/images/151.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5abbed2 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/151.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/153-1.png b/36537-h/images/153-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5aa38f8 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/153-1.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/153-2.png b/36537-h/images/153-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..400fc10 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/153-2.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/154.png b/36537-h/images/154.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..66061d3 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/154.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/155.png b/36537-h/images/155.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7011490 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/155.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/156-1.png b/36537-h/images/156-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9d3868d --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/156-1.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/156-2.png b/36537-h/images/156-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..685cbf3 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/156-2.png diff --git a/36537-h/images/156-3.png b/36537-h/images/156-3.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..374f403 --- /dev/null +++ b/36537-h/images/156-3.png |
