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diff --git a/36512.txt b/36512.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4cb7b2e --- /dev/null +++ b/36512.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3026 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Second Edition of A Discovery Concerning +Ghosts, by George Cruikshank + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Second Edition of A Discovery Concerning Ghosts + With a Rap at the "Spirit-Rappers" + +Author: George Cruikshank + +Release Date: June 24, 2011 [EBook #36512] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DISCOVERY CONCERNING GHOSTS *** + + + + +Produced by Robert Cicconetti and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +SECOND EDITION + +OF A + +DISCOVERY CONCERNING GHOSTS: + +WITH A RAP AT THE "SPIRIT-RAPPERS." + + +BY + +GEORGE CRUIKSHANK. + + +Illustrated with Cuts. + + +TO WHICH IS ADDED + +A FEW PARTING RAPS AT THE "RAPPERS," + +AND QUESTIONS, SUGGESTIONS, AND ADVICE + +TO THE DAVENPORT BROTHERS. + +DEDICATED TO THE "GHOST CLUB." + + +PRICE ONE SHILLING. + +LONDON: + +PUBLISHED BY ROUTLEDGE, WARNE, AND ROUTLEDGE, +AND SOLD BY ALL BOOKSELLERS. + +1864. + +HARRILD, PRINTER, LONDON. + + + + +I think it a duty to inform the Public that I have a Nephew whose +_Christian_ name is PERCY. He is employed by a person of the name of +"READ," a Publisher, of Johnson's Court, Fleet Street; who, in +Advertising any work executed by my _Nephew_, announces it as by +"_Cruikshank_," instead of (as it ought to be) _illustrated_ by "PERCY +CRUIKSHANK." And having been informed by numerous persons that they +have purchased these publications under the impression that they were +works executed by me, I hereby caution the Public against buying any +work as mine with the name of READ, of Johnson's Court, upon it as +Publisher. I never _did anything for that person_, and never shall; and +I beg the Public to understand that these observations are not directed +against my _Nephew_, to whom I wish every good, but that they are +against the said READ, who, by leaving out my Nephew's Christian name, +PERCY, deprives him of whatever credit he may deserve for his literary +and artistic productions, and thereby creating a confusion of persons, +which, if not done for the purpose of DECEIVING THE PUBLIC, appears to +be very much like it. + + + + +A DISCOVERY CONCERNING GHOSTS. + +[Illustration: "Enter Ghost."] + + HAMLET.--"Thou com'st in such a _questionable_ shape."-- + + SHAKESPEARE. + + +Questionable!--ay; so _very_ questionable, in my opinion, is the fact +of their coming at all, that I am now going to question whether they +ever _did_, or _can_ come. This opinion I know is opposed to a very +general, a long-established, and with some a deeply-rooted belief in +supernatural appearances, and is opposed to what may be _almost_ +considered as well-authenticated _facts_, which neither the repeated +exposure of very many "ghost tricks," and clearly-proved imposture, nor +sound philosophical arguments, have been able to set aside altogether. +Most persons, therefore, will no doubt consider that the task of +"laying" all the ghosts that _have_ appeared, and putting a stop to any +others ever making an appearance, is a most difficult task. This is +granted; and although I do not believe, like Owen Glendower, that I can +"call the spirits from the vasty deep," but on the contrary agree in +this respect with Hotspur, if I did call that they would not come, I +nevertheless, although no conjuror, do conjure up for the occasion +hosts of ghosts which I see I have to contend against. Yes, I do see +before me, "in my mind's eye"-- + + A vast army, composed of ghost, goblin, and sprite! + With their eyes full of fire, all gleaming with spite! + All lurking about in the "dead of the night" + With their faces so pale and their shrouds all so white! + Or hiding about in dark holes and corners, + To fright grown-up folk, or little "Jack Horners." + But though they all stand in this fierce grim array, + Armed with pen and with pencil, "I'll drive them away." + +It is not only, however, against these horrible and ghastly-looking +cloud of flimsy foes that one has to deal with in a question like this, +but there are numbers of respectable and respected authors, and highly +respectable witnesses, on the side of the ghosts; and it must be +admitted that it is no easy matter to put aside the testimony of all +these respectable persons. They may have thought, and some may still +think, that they have done, and are doing, _good_, by supporting this +belief; but I _know_ on the contrary that they have done, and are +doing, great _harm_; and I, therefore, stand forth in the hope of +"laying" _all_ the ghosts, and settling this long-disputed question for +ever. + +The belief in ghost, or apparition, is of course of very early date, +originating in what are called the "dark ages," and _dark_ indeed those +ages were! as a reference to the early history of the world will show; +and although we have in these days a large diffusion of the blessed +light of intelligence, nevertheless there is still existing, even +amongst civilized people, a fearful amount of ignorance upon the +subject of Ghosts, Witchcraft, Fortune-telling, and "Ruling the Stars," +besides a vast amount of this sort of imaginary and mischievous +nonsense. Now it will be as well here to inquire what good has ever +resulted from this belief in what is commonly understood to be a ghost? +None that I have ever heard of, and I have been familiar with all the +popular ghost stories from boyhood, and have of late waded through +almost all the works produced in support of this spiritual visiting +theory, but in _no one instance_ have I discovered where any beneficial +result has followed from the supernatural or rather unnatural supposed +appearances; whereas, on the other hand, we do find unfortunately a +large and serious amount of suffering and injury arising from this +belief in ghosts, and which I shall have occasion to refer to further +on; but I will now proceed to bring forward some of the evidences which +have been adduced from time to time, all pretty much in the same style, +in support of the probability and truth of the appearance of +ghosts--first, in fact, to call up the ghosts, in order that I may put +them down. + +All the ghost story tellers, or writers upon this subject, seem to +consider that one most important point in the appearance of apparitions +is, that the ghost should be a MOST PERFECT AND EXACT RESEMBLANCE, IN +EVERY RESPECT, to the deceased person--the spirit of whom they are +supposed to be. Their faces appear the same, except in some cases where +it is described as being rather paler than when they were alive, and +the general expression is described as "more in sorrow than in anger," +but this varies in some instances according to circumstances; but in +all these appearances the countenances are so precisely similar, so +minutely so, that in one case mentioned by Mrs. Crowe in her +"Night-side of Nature," the very "pock-pits" or "pock-marks" on the +face were _distinctly_ visible. The narrators also all agree that the +spirits appear in similar, or the same dresses which they were +accustomed to wear during their lifetime (please to observe that this +is very important), so exactly alike that the ghost-seer could not +possibly be mistaken as to the identity of the individual, in _face_, +_figure_, _manner_, and _dress_; and on the same authority in some +cases the _same spirit_ has appeared at the _same moment_ to _different +persons_ in _different places_, although perhaps 15,000 miles apart, in +_precisely_ the _same dress_. + +In referring to the play of "Hamlet," it will be found that Shakespeare +has been _most particular_ in describing the general appearance of the +Ghost of Hamlet's father, who was + + "Doomed for a certain time to walk by night." + +For instance, when Marcellus says to Horatio, + + "Is it not like the king?" + +Horatio replies-- + + "As thou art to thyself: + Such was the very _armour_ he had on, + When he the ambitious Norway combated; + So _frown'd_ he once, when, in angry parle, + He smote the sledded Polack on the ice." + +Horatio also, in describing the Ghost to Hamlet, says-- + + "A figure like your father, + _Armed_ at all points, _exactly_, _cap-a-pe_." + +And, in further explanation, it is stated that the Ghost was _armed_ +"from top to toe," "from head to foot," that "he wore his beaver up," +with "a countenance more in sorrow than in anger," and was "very pale." +Then, again, when Hamlet sees his father's spirit, he exclaims-- + + "What may this mean, + That thou, dead corse, again, in _complete steel_, + Revisit'st thus the glimpses of the moon." + +So also in the play of "Macbeth," when the Ghost of Banquo rises, and +takes a seat at the table, Macbeth says to the apparition-- + + "Never shake + Thy _gory_ locks at me." + +And further on he says-- + + "Thou hast no speculation in those eyes + Which thou dost glare with!" + +Daniel de Foe also insists upon, and goes into the most _minute_ +details as to the _person_ and _dress_ of a Ghost; and in a work which +he published upon apparitions,[1] we may see how careful and +circumstantial the author is in his descriptions of apparitions, whose +appearance he vouches for in his peculiar narrative and matter-of-fact +style. One of these ghost stories is of some robbers who broke into a +mansion in the country, and whilst ransacking one of the chambers, they +saw, sitting in a chair, "a grave, ancient man, with a long +full-bottomed wig and a rich brocaded gown," etc. One of the robbers +threatened to tear off his "rich brocaded gown;" another hit at him +with a fuzee, and was instantly alarmed at finding it passed through +air; and then the old gentleman "changed into the most horrible monster +that ever was seen, with eyes like two fiery daggers red hot." They +then rushed into another room, and found the same "grave, ancient man" +seated _there_! and so also in another chamber; and he was seen by +different robbers in _three different rooms at the same moment_! Just +at this time the servants, who were at the top of the house, threw some +"hand grenades" down the chimneys of these rooms. The result altogether +was that some of the thieves were badly wounded, the others driven +away, and the mansion saved from being plundered. What a capital thing +it would be surely, if the police could attach some of these spirits to +their force! + + [1] "An Essay on the History and Reality of Apparitions; + being an account of what they are and what they are not, when + they come and when they come not; as also how we may + distinguish between Apparitions of Good and Evil Spirits, and + how we ought to behave to them; with a variety of surprising + and diverting examples never published before." London, 1727. + +Another case, a clergyman (the Rev. Dr. Scot) was seated in his +library, _with the door closed_, when he suddenly saw "an ancient, +grave gentleman, in a black _velvet_ gown"--very particular, you +observe, as to the _material_--"and a long wig." This ghost was an +entire stranger to Dr. Scot, and came to ask the doctor to do him a +favour--asking a favour under such circumstances of course amounts to a +command--which was to go to another part of the country, to a house +where the ghost's son resided, and point out to the son the place where +an important family document was deposited. Dr. Scot complied with this +request, and the family property was secured to the son of the ghost in +the "black velvet gown and the long wig." + +Now one naturally asks here, why did not this old ghost go and +point the place out to his son himself? And so also with the +_well-authenticated_ story of the ghost of Sir George Villars, who +wanted to give a warning to his son, the Duke of Buckingham; which +warning, if properly delivered and properly acted upon, _might_ have +saved the duke's life; but instead of warning his son himself (take +notice), he appeared to one of the duke's domestics, "_in the very +clothes he used to wear_," and commissioned him to deliver the message. +After all, this warning was of no use, so this ghost might have saved +himself the trouble of coming; but spirits are indeed strange things, +and of course act in strange ways. + +About the year 1700, a translation from a French book was brought out +in London, entitled "Drelincourt on Death;" and after it had been +published for some time, Daniel Defoe, at the request of Mr. Midwinter, +the publisher, wrote a preface to the work, and therein introduced a +short story about the ghost of a lady appearing to her friend. It was +headed thus:--"A true Relation of the Apparition of Mrs. Veal, next day +after her death, to one Mrs. Bargrave, at Canterbury, on the 8th of +September, 1705; which Apparition recommends the perusal of +Drelincourt's book of Consolation against the Fears of Death. +(Thirteenth edition.)" + +Mrs. Veal and Mrs. Bargrave, it appears, were intimate friends. One day +at twelve o'clock at noon, when Mrs. B. was sitting alone, Mrs. Veal +entered the room, dressed in a "riding habit," hat, etc., as if going a +journey. Mrs. Bargrave advanced to welcome her friend, and was going to +salute her, and their lips _almost touched_, but Mrs. V. held back her +head and passing her hand before her face, said, "I am not very well +to-day;" and avoided the salute. In the course of a long talk which +they had, _Mrs. Veal strongly recommends Drelincourt's Book on Death to +Mrs. Bargrave, and occasionally "claps her hand upon her knee, in great +earnestness."_ Mrs. Veal had been, subject to fits, and she asks if +Mrs. Bargrave does not think she is "mightily impaired by her fits?" +Mrs. B.'s reply was, "No! I think you look _as well as ever I knew +you_;" and during the conversation she _took hold of Mrs. Veal's gown +several times_, and commended it. Mrs. V. told her it was a "scoured +silk" and newly made up. Mrs. Veal at length took her departure, but +stood at the street door some short time, in the face of the beast +market; this was Saturday the market-day. She then went from Mrs. B., +who saw her walk in her view, till a turning interrupted the sight of +her; this was three quarters after one o'clock. _Mrs. Veal had died +that very day at noon!!!_ at Dover, which is about twenty miles from +Canterbury. + +Some surprise was expressed to Mrs. Bargrave, about the fact of her +_feeling_ the gown, but she said she was _quite sure_ that she felt the +gown. It was a striped silk, and Mrs. Veal had never been seen in such +a dress; but such a one was found in her wardrobe after her decease. + +This story made a great sensation at the time it was published; and +"Drelincourt on Death," with the Preface and Defoe's tale, became +exceedingly popular.[2] + + [2] The introduction runs thus:--"This relation is a matter + of fact, and attended with such circumstances as may induce + any reasonable man to believe it. It was sent by a gentleman, + a justice of peace, in MAIDSTONE in KENT, and a very + intelligent person, to his friend in LONDON, as it is here + worded; which discourse is attested by a sober and + understanding gentlewoman, a kinswoman of the said + gentleman's, who lives at CANTERBURY within a few doors of + the house in which the within-named Mrs. Bargrave lives; who + believes his kinswoman to be of so discerning a spirit as not + to be put upon by fallacy, and who positively assured him + that the whole matter as related and laid down is really + true; and what she herself had in the same words (as near as + may be) from Mrs. Bargrave's own mouth; who she knows had no + reason to invent and publish such a story; or design to forge + and tell a lie, being a woman of much honesty and virtue, and + her whole life a course as it were of piety. The use which we + ought to make of it is, that there is a life to come after + this, and a just GOD, who will retribute to every one + according to the deeds done in the body, and therefore to + reflect upon our past course of life we have lead in the + world--that our time is short and uncertain; if we would + escape the punishment of the ungodly and receive the reward + of the righteous, which is the laying hold of eternal life, + we ought for the time to come to turn to GOD, by a speedy + repentance, ceasing to do evil and learning to do well, to + seek after GOD early, if haply he may be found of us, and + lead such lives for the future as may be well pleasing in his + sight." + +The absurdities and impossibilities of the foregoing narrative of this +apparition of Mrs. Veal need not be pointed out; but the story is +introduced here for two reasons; one of which will be explained further +on, and the other is to show how the public have been imposed upon with +these short stories. + +It has all along been known to the literary world that this "_true_ +Relation" was a _falsehood_, and brought forward under the following +circumstances:-- + +Mr. Midwinter, who published the translation of "Drelincourt on Death," +finding that the work did not sell, complained of this to Defoe, and +asked him if he could not write some preface or introduction to the +work for the purpose of calling the attention of the public to this +rather uninviting subject. Defoe undertook to do so, and produced this +story about the ghost of Mrs. Veal. The gullibility of the public was +much greater at that time than now, and they would then swallow +anything in the shape of a ghost; a great sensation was created, and +the publisher's purpose was answered, as the work had an extraordinary +sale; but one cannot help expressing a very deep regret that the author +of "Robinson Crusoe" should have so degraded his talent, by thus +deliberately foisting upon the public a gross and mischievous falsehood +as a veritable truth; and, worse than this, guilty of bringing in the +most sacred names upon one of the most solemn subjects which the mind +of man can contemplate, for the purpose of supporting and propagating a +falsehood for a mercenary purpose. + +As the belief in ghosts has long been popular, and considered as an +established fact, it may be quite allowable for an author to introduce +a ghost into his romance; and it may be argued that authors have thus +been enabled "to point a moral" as well as to "adorn a tale," by using +this poetical license, or spiritual medium; but in these cases the +tales or poems were given out to the world as inventions of the author +to amuse the public, or to convey a moral lesson, and were accepted by +the public as such. + +We find in these foregoing examples that apparitions do appear +sometimes to strangers, and sometimes in the dresses in which they had +not been seen when alive; but these dresses have been afterwards +discovered or accounted for, and it has also been discovered who these +_strange_ spirits represented. But it will be seen by the cases cited, +and others which are to follow, that this EXACT appearance, this +_Vraisemblance_ is _essential_, nay, INDISPENSABLE, in order that there +shall be "no mistake;" for should mistakes be made, it would, in some +cases, be perhaps a very serious matter. I fully assent to all this, +and to show that I wish to do battle in all fairness, that it shall be +a "fair fight and no favour," I am willing even to illustrate my +opponents' statements in these particulars, and to do this I here +introduce--don't start, reader! not a ghost, but a figure of Napoleon +the First, but without a head; not that I mean to imply thereby that +this military hero had no head. No, no! quite the contrary, but I have +omitted this head and the head of the ghost of Hamlet's father for an +especial purpose, as will be explained further on, when I shall have +occasion to touch upon these _heads_ again. But if this cut is held at +a distance, by any one at all familiar with the portraits or statues of +"Napoleon le Grand" in this costume, they will at once recognize who +the figure is intended to represent. + +Let us now turn to "The Night-side of Nature," and through the dismal +gloom which surrounds these apparitions, call up some more spirits, +who, according to Mrs. Crowe, and, indeed, on the authority of all +other authors who support the ghost doctrine, "generally come in their +habits as they lived;" and it appears that there is no difference in +this respect between the beggar and the king, for they come + + "Some in rags, and some in jags, and some in silken gowns." + +At page 289 of this exceedingly cleverly written but most ghastly +collection of ghost stories, it is related that the ghost of a +beggar-man appeared at the _same time in two different_ apartments (all +in his _dirty_ rags, of course), to a young man and a young woman who +had allowed this beggar to sleep in their master's barn (unbeknown to +their master), where he died in the night, but could not rest after his +death until some money of his was found by these young people, who had +both suffered in their health in consequence of these visits of the +beggar's ghost. They at length consulted and explained all this to a +priest, who advised them to distribute the money they had found under +the straw (where the beggar had slept and died) between _three_ +churches, which advice was accordingly acted upon, and this settled the +business, for the _dirty_ ragged ghost never troubled them again. + +In contrast to this we have the story of the ghost of a lady of title, +who had been in her lifetime Princess Anna of Saxony. She came decked +out in "silks and satins," gold lace, embroidery, and jewels, all so +grand, and appeared to one of the descendants of her family, Duke +Christian of Saxe Eisenburg, requesting him to be so kind as to try and +"make it up" between her and her ghost husband, who, it seems, was a +bad-tempered man, had quarrelled with her, and had died without being +reconciled. + +Duke Christian consented to do this. She had walked into the duke's +presence, although all the doors were _shut_, and one day after their +first interview she brought her husband to their relative in the same +unceremonious manner. Her ghost husband, who had been the Duke Casimer, +appeared dressed in his royal robes. They each told their story (these, +you will observe were _talking_ ghosts as well as _stalking_ ghosts). +Duke Christian most gallantly decided in favour of the lady, and the +ghost duke very properly acquiesced in the justice of the decision. +Duke Christian then took the "icy cold hand" of the ghost-duke and +placed it in the hand of the ghost-wife, whose hand felt of a +"_natural_ heat." It appears to be the opinion of the advocates of +apparitions that _naughty_ ghosts have _cold_ hands. In this case the +husband was the offending party, and was very naughty, and therefore +his hands were very cold. It seems strange that his hands should have +been cold, for, being naughty, one would suppose he would come from the +same place that Hamlet's father did; and from what _he_ said we should +conclude that there was a roaring fire there, where the duke might have +_warmed_ his cold hands. It further appears that these parties all +"_prayed_ and _sung_ together!" after which the now happy ghosts +disappeared _sans ceremonie_, without troubling the servants to open +the doors, or allowing Duke Christian to "show them out." One +remarkable fact in connection with this story is, that, upon referring +to the portraits of these ghosts which hung in the castle, was, that +they had appeared in exactly the same dresses which they had on, when +these portraits were painted--one hundred years before this time. + +Duke Christian died two years after the ghosts' visits, and by his own +orders was buried in "quicklime," to prevent, it is supposed, _his_ +ghost from walking the earth! He must indeed have been a poor ignorant +creature, although a duke, to suppose that "quicklime," or "slow lime," +or any other kind of lime, or anything else that would destroy the +_body_, could make any difference with respect to the appearance of the +_spirit_. + +The next case, then, is of the ghost of a soldier's wife, who appeared +to a "Corporal Q----" who was lying ill in bed, and also to a comrade +who was an invalid lying in the next bed. This was in the night, but +the corporal could see that she was dressed in a "flannel gown, edged +with a black ribbon," _exactly_ like the grave-clothes which he had +helped to put on her twelve months before. It appears, however, that he +could _see through her_, _flannel gown_ and all. This female ghost came +to the bed-side of the sick man to ask him to write to her husband, who +was in Ireland, to communicate something to him which was to be kept a +"profound secret." + +This is certainly a strange story, but is it not still more strange +that this ghost did not go to her husband and tell him the important +secret _herself_, instead of trusting a stranger to do so? It will be +observed that there are different classes of ghosts, as there are of +living people--the princely, the aristocratic, the genteel, and the +common. The vulgar classes delight to haunt in graveyards, dreary +lanes, ruins, and all sorts of dirty dark holes and corners, and in +cellars. Yes, dark cellars seem to be a favourite abode of these +_common_ ghosts. This fact raises the question whether the lower class +of spirits are obliged to keep to the _lower_ parts of the house--to +the "lower regions"--and are not allowed to go into the parlours or the +drawing-rooms, and not allowed to mix with the higher order of ghosts! +Can this be a law or regulation amongst the ghosts? If so, is it not +most extraordinary that these spirits should not be allowed to choose +their own place of residence, and take to the most comfortable +apartments, instead of grovelling amongst the rats and mice, the slugs, +the crickets, and the blackbeetles? 'Tis strange, 'tis passing strange; +but so it appears to be. By the by, some few of these poor spirits of +the humble class of ghosts do sometimes, it appears, mount up to the +bed-rooms, in the hope, I suppose, of getting occasionally now and then +a "_comfortable_ lodging" and a "good night's rest." + +At page 310 of this same work we have an account of a haunted cellar in +a gentleman's house, out of town, in which were heard "loud knockings," +"a voice crying," "heavy feet walking," etc. The old butler, with his +"acolytes," descended to the cellar (wine cellar) armed with sword, +blunderbuss, and other offensive weapons, but the ghosts put them all +to flight, and they "turned tail" in a fright. Yes, they all ran +up-stairs again, followed by the "_sound of feet_" and "a _visible +shadow_!" This, of course, is a _fact_; and it so happens that I know +another _fact_ about a haunted wine-cellar, which, however, had quite a +different result to the foregoing. + +In a wine-cellar of a gentleman's house, somewhere near Blackheath, it +was found that strange noises were sometimes heard in the evenings and +in the night time, in this "wine vault," similar to those described +above, such as _knocking_, _groaning_, _footsteps_, etc., so that the +servants were afraid to go into the cellar, particularly at a late +hour. The master at length determined to "lay" this ghost, if possible, +and one evening when these noises had been heard, arming himself with a +sword, and the servants with a fowling-piece and a poker, they +cautiously descended into the cellar (with lighted candles, of course). +Nothing was to be seen there, and all was quiet except a strange, +smothered kind of sound, like the hard breathing of an animal, +something like snoring, that seemed to proceed out of the earth in one +of the dark corners of the vault, when, lo and behold! in turning their +lights in the direction from which the sounds came, and advancing +carefully, they discovered--what do you think? Don't be alarmed. Why, +the ghost lying on the ground, dead--DRUNK! Yes, the ghost had _laid_ +himself, not with "Bell, Book, and Candle," but by swallowing the +SPIRIT of ALCOHOL, the spirit of wine, beer, and brandy. Most +disgraceful; in fact, this ghost had taken a "_drop too much_." + +Upon looking a little closer, they found that this ghost was one Tom +Brown, an under-gardener; and it was discovered that he had _tunnelled_ +a hole from the "tool-house" through the wall into the cellar. This +spirit was so over-charged _with spirit_, that he was unable to _walk_, +so was _doomed_ to be carried in a _cart_ to the "_cage_;" and all the +people living round about came next morning to look at the ghost that +had been haunting the squire's wine cellar. Oh! what a _fortune_ it +would be to any one who could catch a ghost--a real, right down, +"'arnest" ghost, and put him in a cage to show him round the country! I +wish I had one.[3] It would cost little or nothing to keep such a +thing; only the lodging, as he would require neither food, fire, +clothing, nor washing! + + [3] Some few years back, a ghost was said to have been seen + frequently in the neighbourhood of some Roman Catholic + institution near Leicester, and upon one occasion had nearly + frightened a young woman to death. I was staying with a + friend at Leicester at the time, and offered L100 reward to + any one who would show me the ghost, as I wanted very much to + make a sketch of it, but I could not get a sight of it for + love nor money. + +At page 118, we find an account of an apparition appearing to a +gentleman, who was staying at a friend's house at Sarratt, in +Hertfordshire, and was awoke in the middle of the night by a pressure +on his feet, and, looking up, saw, by the light that was burning in the +fire-place, a "well-dressed gentleman," in a "_blue_ coat and bright +gilt buttons," leaning on the foot of the bed, _without a head_! It +appears that this was reported to be the ghost of a poor gentleman of +that neighbourhood who had been murdered, and whose head had been cut +off! and could therefore only be recognized by his "_blue_ coat and +bright gilt buttons." + +Under any _real_ circumstance this would indeed be _too horrible_ and +_too serious_ a subject to turn into ridicule; but in this case, such +an evident falsehood, it is surely allowable to "lay" such a ghost as +this, such a senseless ghost, in any possible way; in fact, to laugh +such a ghost out of countenance-- + + I, therefore, with my rod of double H. blacklead, + Hold up to scorn this well-dressed ghost without a head. + +Any one looking at this figure will clearly see that he does not belong +to _this world_, and has therefore no business here; for, although +there may be some persons in _this world_ who, perhaps, go about with a +very small allowance of _brain_, yet every _body here_ must have some +sort of a _head_ upon his shoulders, no matter how handsome, or +queer-looking it may be. Now I am sorry to be rude to any "well-dressed +gentleman," or, indeed, to any _body_ or _soul_; but as it appears +(from the story) that this ghost had really no real _business_ upon +earth, what "on earth" does he come here for? Why, for no other object, +it appears, but to "show himself off;" so, in my opinion, the sooner he +"walks off" the better. By the by, perhaps we ought not to be too +severe upon the poor fellow, for, upon consideration, he is placed in +rather an awkward position, as his _head_ may be on the look out for +the _body_, and know where it is, but having no legs it cannot get to +the body. On the other hand, although the _body_ has legs and could +walk to the _head_, yet, having no eyes, cannot see where the _head_ +is; so some excuse may be made upon this _head_, particularly if he is +not a _talking_ ghost. + +There is a story, somewhere in the Roman Catholic chronicles, of a +martyr, who, after being beheaded, picked up his head, and walked away +with it under his arm; but our ghost here, in the "blue coat and bright +gilt buttons," is not allowed to do this sort of thing, and the +question naturally arises, what has become of, or where is the _spirit_ +of this unfortunate gentleman's _head_? Can the believers in ghosts +tell us that? and surely we shall all feel obliged if they can inform +us whether the apparitions of _all decapitated persons appear without +their heads_; and, if not, what becomes of their heads? and, further, +whether the mutilation of the _body_ can in any way affect the +_spirit_--the _soul_? + +I shall not in this case "pause for a reply," because I know I shall +have a very long time to wait for an answer; but in proceeding to bring +to the light of day some more facts about ghosts from the _dark_ side +of nature, I feel as if some inquisitive spirit was irresistibly +compelling me to put questions as I go on writing; and therefore, under +these circumstances, present my compliments to those persons who know +about ghosts, and the various authors who support this belief, and I +shall feel greatly obliged if they will answer my queries at their +earliest convenience.--N.B. Shall be glad to hear the replies from the +ghosts themselves, provided they pay the postage. + +In the first place, then, from the authority quoted above, it appears +that a widow lady had, strange to say, married a second time! and that +the ghost of her first husband paid her "constant visits." Query, What +did the ghost come for, and was the second husband at all jealous of +his coming? With respect to a celebrated actor, who had married a +second wife, we find that the apparition of his first wife appeared to +him, and which appearance unfortunately threw him into a fit, and at +the same moment this ghost appeared to the second wife, although they +were several hundred miles apart at the time. I can understand why the +ghost of his first wife came to visit _him_ who once was hers, that is, +because he was such a great actor, and such a good fellow; but why did +it appear to the second wife? and how is it that the same spirit can +appear in _several places_ at _the same instant_? I should like to know +that. At page 274 we find a DOG frightened at the ghost of a soldier! +But this is not the only "unlucky dog" that has been terrified by +apparitions; several instances are given in different works. Query, How +do the "poor dogs" know a ghost is a ghost when they see one, +particularly as they appear in the same dresses which they had on when +"in the flesh;" and even, suppose they know that they are in the +presence of a ghost, what makes them "turn tail?" Yes, why should a +_dog_, especially if he is a _spirited_ dog, do so? for almost in the +same page we are told of a horse who recognized his old master, who +appeared in the same dress he wore when alive, a "sky-blue coat." This +horse did not "turn tail." No! but followed the phantom of his dear old +master, who was walking about the farm, and no doubt wanted to give him +a ride. Query, If a horse is not frightened at a ghost, why should dogs +be frightened at the sight of them? And also, if a _goose_ would be +frightened if it saw a ghost? _Asses_, we know, are sometimes +frightened at nothing, and as a ghost is "next to nothing," they must +of course be frightened at ghosts. At page 459 we are told of the ghost +of a "horse and cart," and also of the "ghosts of sheep." If this be +so, doubtless there must likewise be the ghosts of dogs (what "droll +dogs" they must be), also of puppies, and asses. + +What an interesting subject of inquiry is this for the zoologist! + +We find, as we dive into the dark mysteries of apparitions, that there +are ghosts of all sorts and sizes, and that there are even _lame_ +ghosts, as is proved by the following true tale of the apparition of an +officer in India, as related by several of his brother officers, whose +words _dare not_ be doubted:--One Major R----, who was presumed to be +of about fifty or sixty years of age, was with some young officers, +proceeding up a river in a barge; and as they came to a considerable +bend in the river, the major and the other officers went ashore, in +order to cross the neck of land, taking their fowling-pieces and powder +and shot with them, in the hopes of meeting some game; and they also +took something to _refresh_ themselves on the road. At one part of +their journey they took their "tiffing," and after this they had to +jump across a ditch, which the young officers cleared, but the major +"jumped short." He told his companions to march on, and he would follow +after he had dried and put himself a little in marching order. They saw +him lay down his fowling-piece and his hat, and they moved on. After +marching some time, they came in sight of the barge, and were wondering +why the major did not follow, when, on a sudden, they were surprised to +see him (the major) at some distance from them making towards the +barge, "without his hat or gun," _limping_ hastily along in his _top +boots_, and he did not appear to observe them. When they arrived at the +barge, he was not there. They returned to the spot where they had left +him, and found his hat and his fowling-piece, and with the assistance +of some natives they discovered the body of the major in a pit dug for +trapping wild animals! + +I defer asking any questions upon the foregoing for the present, for a +reason, but as the next case related is that of the ghost of a young +man who had been drowned, and the poor old mother saw her son "dripping +with water," we may surely inquire here if there is or can be such a +wonderful sight as an _apparition_ of "dripping water!" or ghosts of +_tears_! for we find at page 387 an account of a _weeping_ ghost, who +let his tears fall on the face of a female, who "_often felt the_ TEARS +_on her cheek; icy cold, but burn afterwards, and leave a blue mark!_" +And on the same authority we find that there is the ghost of DIRT, for +the ghost of the old beggar-man was "dirty." And then if the ghost of a +chimney-sweep were to appear--and why not the spirit of a sweep as well +as anybody else? But if he came, _he must_ also appear "in his habits +as he lived." In that case there must be the ghost of _soot_! Thus +there are not only the apparitions of _fluids_, and _dust_ and _dirt_, +but also of hard substances, as in the case of a ghost who was seen in +a garden with the ghost of a "_spade_ in his hand!" + +And not only have we, then, ghosts of all these matters, but also a +ghost of the "_rustling of silk_," "_creaking of shoes_," and "_sounds +of footsteps_," many instances of which will be found in "FOOTFALLS ON +THE BOUNDARY OF ANOTHER WORLD," by ROBERT DALE OWEN, a work most +elaborately compiled, and sincerely do I wish that such talent and such +research had been engaged and directed to illustrate and assist with +_light_, instead of darkness, the present progressive state of society, +instead of striving and endeavouring, as it does, to drive us back into +the "outer darkness" of the ignorance of the "dark ages," to endeavour +to support and to bring back the mind of man to a belief in the visits +of ghosts, of necromancy, bewitching, and all the "black arts;" all of +which it was hoped, in the progress of time, would ultimately be swept +away from the face of the earth, by pure and sound Christian religion, +education and science, all of which go clearly to prove that "black +arts" are matters contrary to the natural laws of the creation and the +laws of GOD. + +In one of the tales brought forward by this author is an account of the +haunting of an old manor-house near Leigh, in Kent, called Ramhurst, +where there was heard "knockings and sounds of footsteps," more +especially voices which could not be accounted for, usually in an +unoccupied room; "sometimes as if talking in a loud tone, sometimes as +if reading aloud, occasionally screaming." The servants never _saw_ +anything, but the cook told her mistress that on one occasion, in broad +daylight, hearing the _rustling_ of a _silk dress_ behind her, and +which seemed to _touch_ her, she turned suddenly round, supposing it to +be her mistress, but to her great surprise and terror could not see +anybody. + +Mr. Owen is so thoroughly master of this spirit subject that he must be +able to tell us all about this "rustling" of the "silk dresses" of +ghosts, and surely every one will be curious to learn the secret of +such a curious fact. + +The lady of the house, a Mrs. R----, drove over one day to the railway +station at Tunbridge to fetch a young lady friend who was coming to +stay with her for some weeks. This was a Miss S----, who "had been in +the habit of seeing apparitions from early childhood," and when, upon +their return, they drove up to the entrance of the manor-house, Miss +S---- perceived on the threshold the appearance of two figures, +apparently an elderly couple, _habited in the costume of the time of +Queen Anne_. They appeared as if standing on the ground. Miss S---- saw +the same apparition several times after this, and held conversations +with them, and they told her that they were husband and wife, and that +their name was "Children;" and she informed the lady of the house, Mrs. +R----, of what she had seen and heard; and as Mrs. R---- was dressing +hurriedly one day for dinner, "and not _dreaming_ of anything +_spiritual_, as she hastily turned to leave her bed-chamber, there, in +the doorway, stood the same female figure Miss S---- had described! +identical in appearance and costume--even to the old 'point-lace' on +her 'brocaded silk dress'--while beside her, on the left, but less +distinctly visible, was the figure of the old squire, her husband; they +uttered no sound, but above the figure of the lady, as if written in +phosphoric light in the dusk atmosphere that surrounded her, were the +words, '_Dame Children_,' together with some other words intimating +that having never aspired beyond the joys and sorrows of this world, +she had remained '_earth bound_.' These last, however, Mrs. R---- +scarcely paused to decipher, as her brother (who was very hungry) +called out to know if they were 'going to have any dinner that day?'" +There was no time for hesitation; "she closed her eyes, rushed through +the apparition and into the dining-room, throwing up her hands, and +exclaiming to Miss S----, 'Oh, my dear, I've walked through Mrs. +Children!'" Only think of that, "gentle reader!" Only think of Mrs. +R---- walking _right through_ "Dame Children"--"old point-lace, +brocaded silk dress," and all--and as old "Squire Children" was +standing by the side of his "dame," Mrs. R---- must either have upset +the old ghost or have walked through him also. + +Although this story looks very much like as if it were intended as an +additional chapter to "Joe Miller's Jest-book," the reader will please +to observe that Mr. Owen does not relate this as a joke, but, on the +contrary, expects that it will be received as a solemn serious fact; +there was a cause for the haunting of this old manor-house, with the +talking, screaming, and rustling of silk, and the appearance of the +old-fashioned ghosts; there was a secret which these ghosts wished to +impart to the persons in the house at that time, and if the gentleman +reader will brace up his nerves, and the lady reader will get her +"smelling-bottle" ready, I'll let them into the secret. Now, pray, dear +madam, don't be terrified! Squire Children had formerly been proprietor +of the mansion, and he and his "dame" had taken great delight and +interest in the house--when alive--and they were very sorry to find +that the property had gone out of the family, and he and his dame had +come on purpose to let Mrs. R---- and her friend know all this! There +now, there's a secret for you--what do you think of that? + +In the year 1854, a baron (of the rather funny name of _Gul_denstubbe) +was residing alone in apartments in the Rue St. Lazare, Paris, and one +night there appeared to him in his bed-room the ghost of a stout old +gentleman. It seems that he saw a column of "light grayish vapour," or +sort of "bluish light," out of which there gradually grew into sight, +within it, the figure of a "tall, portly old man, with a fresh colour, +_blue_ eyes,[4] snow white hair, thin white whiskers, but without beard +or moustache, and dressed with care. He seemed to wear a white cravat +and long white waistcoat, high stiff shirt collar, and long black frock +coat thrown back from his chest as is wont of corpulent people like him +in _hot_ weather. He appeared to lean on a _heavy white cane_." After +the baron had seen this _portly_ ghost, he went to bed and to sleep, +and in a dream the same figure appeared to him again, and he thought he +heard it say, "Hitherto you have not believed in the reality of +apparitions, considering them only as the recallings of memory; now, +since you have seen a _stranger_, you cannot consider it the +reproduction of former ideas." + + [4] The baron must have had _good_ eyes to have seen the + precise colour of the ghost's eyes under such circumstances. + +Every one will acknowledge that this was exceedingly kind on the part +of the ghost, as he had no doubt to come a long way for the express +purpose of setting the baron's mind right upon this point; and had also +come from a _very warm place_, as his frock coat "was thrown from his +chest, as is wont with corpulent people in hot weather." + +This polite, good-natured, "blue"-eyed apparition, who was "dressed +with care," had been the proprietor of the maison--a Monsieur +Caron--who had dropped down in an apoplectic fit; and, oh, horror of +horrors, had actually "died in the very bed now occupied by the +baron!"... + +When the daughter heard of the ghost of her papa, appearing thus upon +one or two occasions, "she caused masses to be said for the soul of her +father," and it is "alleged that the apparition has not been seen in +any of the apartments since;" or, to use a vulgarism, we might say +here, that this ghost had "cut his stick." + +Mr. Robert Dale Owen had this narrative from the baron himself in +Paris, on the 11th of May, 1859, and he is of opinion that this "story +derives much of its value from the calm and dispassionate manner in +which the witness appears to have observed the succession of phenomena, +and the exact details which, in consequence, he has been enabled to +furnish. It is remarkable also, as well for the electrical influences +which preceded the appearance, as on account of the correspondence +between the apparition to the baron in his waking state, and that +subsequently seen in his dream; the first cognizable by one sense +only--that of sight--the second appealing (though in vision of the +sight only) to the hearing also. The coincidences as to personal +peculiarities and details of dress are too numerous and minutely exact +to be fortuitous, let us adopt what theory we may." + +As this baron is no doubt a most respectable and well-conducted +gentleman, in every respect, I will not say-- + + That Monsieur the Baron de Guldenstubbe + Had taken too much out of a bottle or tub, + +but this I will say, that his account seems to be nothing more or less +than a very _exact_ description of some "dissolving view" trick played +off upon the baron and others by some clever French neighbour; and as +to his _dream_, it is surely hardly worth while to notice such +nonsense, as dreams are now well understood to be only the imperfect +operations of the organs of thought, in a semi-dormant state, "half +asleep and half awake," and are the effect sometimes of agreeable +sensations or painful emotions, during the waking hours, and may be +produced to any disagreeable amount by eating a very hearty supper of +underdone "pork pies," and going to sleep on the back instead of +reclining on the side. We cannot dream of anything of which we have not +seen or had something of a similar kind before, nor can we form either +awake or in a dream any form whatever--animate or inanimate, which does +not partake or form some part of nature's general objects; and in fact +we cannot _invent_ an animal form without combining the parts of +existing animals either of man or beast. I trust that this _fact_ will +be a sufficient answer for Monsieur Caron. And then, as to the "laying" +of this ghost, it does seem to me to be extraordinary, that any person +possessed of common understanding in these days, let their religion be +what it may, should believe that the ALMIGHTY GOD would not let a +departed spirit _rest_, until "masses" had been said for the soul of +such person; until some _money had been paid_ to a priest to mumble +over a few set forms of prayer. _Paid_ for prayers--prayers at a +certain market price! Then, as to the "white cravat," "white +waistcoat," "high stiff shirt collar," and "black frock coat," and more +particularly the "heavy white cane," is it to be understood that these +said "masses" put all these materials to rest, as well as the soul or +spirit of the body? If not, where did they go to? Had they to return to +purgatory by themselves--had the heavy white walking-stick to walk off +without its owner? + +In the frame of mind in which this _story_ is written, it is not at all +surprising that the author should have taken so much trouble to put +these _facts_ together, and that he should evidently be altogether so +satisfied with the conclusion which he arrives at. But ghost stories, +like many other matters, where a foundation is once laid and +established in falsehood or nonsense, such builders may go on, adding +any amount of the same materials, upon this false basis. They may go +on, _working in the dark_--piling up one _story_ upon another, until +the structure assumes the appearance in the dusk of a well-established +and substantial edifice, and looking as if it would stand firm for +ever; but undermine this apparently stronghold, with that which is +always considered as a great _bore_, when used in working under the +foundations of long-established error or prejudice, namely, TRUTH, +guided by TRUE RELIGION, and when thus armed and prepared, "spring the +mine" with a good "blow-up" of COMMON SENSE, to let in the light of +Heaven and Christian civilized intelligence, and the whole mass of +ignorance and superstition is blown and scattered to the winds, "like +the baseless fabric of a vision." + +It may be said that the truth of this ghost _story_ rests mainly on a +_stick_--_leans_ upon a "heavy white cane." Take away the _cane_ and +down comes the ghost! "white waistcoat," "high stiff shirt collar," +"black coat," "blue eyes," and all! + +The author of "Footfalls on the Boundary of another World" is evidently +a religious man, and had he but thought as deeply upon these matters as +I have done, I am sure he would never have been guilty of the impiety +of bringing forward such questions as to the _spirituality_ of +walking-sticks. But I am well pleased that this "heavy white cane" has +been introduced here, because it affords me a handle to cane or to +knock down and drive away entirely these hideous and unnatural myths; +and also because it enables me to _stick_ to the text, and to introduce +here to the public an old friend, as another illustration bearing upon +the stick question. This is the apparition of one Tom Straitshank, +drawn, as you will see, by your humble servant. + +[Illustration: George Cruikshank] + +This was a jolly bold daring spirit, and was seen when on board the +_Victory_ at the battle of Trafalgar to emerge, like Monsieur Caron, +out of some light bluish vapour, very much like the smoke of gunpowder; +and in that battle it appears, like one of the heroes in "Chevy Chase," +his "legs were smitten off!" but, unlike that warrior, he found that +_he_ could not fight "upon his stumps," so he had a pair of wooden legs +made, and having bought two stout walking-sticks, was thus enabled to +hobble about on his "timber toes." He almost always appeared in various +different parts of "Greenwich Hospital," and very often surrounded by, +and sometimes emerging from, a vapour very like the smoke of tobacco. I +feel here that I ought to have given Tom his pipe, but the drawing of +this tar was done many years since, and until I read Mrs. Crowe's book +lately, I was not aware that ghosts smoked their pipes, but it actually +appears that they do smoke, for at page 210 of "The Night-side of +Nature," a ghost is introduced with a "short pipe," and it was found +out that the reason of his "walking by night" was, that he owed "a +_small debt for tobacco_!" + + And when this little bacca-bill was paid, + This ghost, with his little bacca-pipe, was "laid;" + +and we may suppose the spirit _laid_ down his pipe. This ghost of a +tobacco-pipe raises the question of what these spiritual pipes are +made--of what clay, or if the Meer Schum are only _mere shams_; what +sort of tobacco-leaves their cigars are made of, and if there are any +spiritual "cabbage-leaves" mixed up with them. + + Yes, we'd just like to know, what weed 'tis they burns, + Whether "Shortcut," "Shag," "Bird's eye," or "Returns." + +As the gents _here_, light their pipes and cigars with a kind of +_Lucifer_ match, we may be pretty sure that they will continue to +do so _elsewhere_; but one would like to know also if ghosts chaw +tobacco, if they take a quid of "pig-tail," and if the smokers use +spittoons--faugh!--and further, as ghosts do smoke, if they take a +pinch of snuff, if there is such a thing as spiritual snuff, if there +be such things as the spirit of "Irish blaguard" and "Scotch rappee?" + +Some of these "_sensation_" melodramas, or rather _farces_, might vie +in the number of nights in which the performances took place, with some +of the "sensation" or popular theatrical pieces of the present day. +Here is one entitled, "The Drummer of Tedworth" (what a capital heading +for a "play bill!"), in which the ghost or evil spirit of a drummer, or +the ghost of a drum (for it does not appear clearly which of the two it +was), performed the principal part in this drama, with slight +intervals, for "_two entire years_." + + Oh! this drummer, oh! this drummer, + I'll tell you what he used to do, + He used to beat upon his drum, + The "_Old Gentleman's_ tattoo." + +The "plot" runs thus:--In March, 1661, Mr. Mompesson, a magistrate, +caused a vagrant drummer to be arrested, who had been annoying the +country by noisy demands for charity, and had ordered his drum, "oh +that drum!" to be taken from him and left in the bailiff's hands. About +the middle of April following (that is in 1661), when Mr. Mompesson was +preparing for a journey to London, the bailiff sent the drum to his +house. Upon his return home he was informed that noises had been +_heard_, and then he heard the noises himself, which were a "thumping +and _drumming_" accompanied by "a strange noise and hollow sound." The +sign of it when it came, was like a hurling in the air, over the house, +and at its going off, the beating of a drum, like that at the "breaking +up of a guard." + +"After a month's disturbance _outside_ the house ('which was most of it +of board') it came _into the room where the drum lay_." "For an hour +together it would beat 'Roundheads and cockolds,' the 'tattoo,' and +several other points of war, as well as any drummer." Upon one +occasion, "when many were present, a gentleman said, 'Satan, if the +drummer set thee to work, give _three_ knocks,' which it did very +distinctly and no more." And for further trial, he bid it for +confirmation, if it were the drummer, to give _five_ knocks and no more +that night, which it did, and left the house quiet all the night after. + + All this seems very strange, about this drummer and his drum, + But for myself, I really think this drumming ghost was "all a hum." + +But strange as it certainly was, is it not still more strange, that +educated gentlemen, and even clergymen, as in this case also, should +believe that the ALMIGHTY would suffer an evil spirit to disturb and +affright a whole innocent family, because the head of that family had, +in his capacity as magistrate, thought it his duty to take away a +_drum_, from no doubt a drunken drummer, who by his noisy conduct had +become a nuisance and an annoyance to the neighbourhood? + +The next case of supposed spiritual antics was not the drumming of a +drum, but a tune upon a warming-pan, the "clatter" of "a warming-pan," +and a vast variety of other _earthly_ sounds, which it was proved to +have been heard at the Rev. Samuel Wesley's, who was the father of the +celebrated John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, at a place called +Epworth, in Lincolnshire. These sounds consisted of "knockings," and +"groanings," of "footsteps," and "rustling of silk trailing along" (the +"rustling of silk" seems to be a favourite air with the ghosts), +"_clattering_" of the "_iron casement_," and "_clattering_" of the +"_warming-pan_," and then as if a "vessel full of silver was poured +upon Mrs. Wesley's breast and ran jingling down to her feet;" and all +sorts of frightful noises, not only enough to "frighten anybody," but +which frightened even a big dog!--a large mastiff, who used at first, +when he heard the noises, "to bark and leap and snap on one side and +the other, and that frequently before any person in the room heard the +noises at all; but after two or three days, he used to tremble and +creep away before the noise began. And by this, the family knew it was +at hand; nor did the observation ever fail." Poor bow woo! what cruel +ghosts to be sure, to go and frighten a poor dog in this way. + +Mrs. Wesley at one time thought it was "_rats_, and sent for a _horn_ +to _blow_ them away;" but blowing the horn did not blow the ghosts +away. No; for at first it only came at night, but after the horn was +blown it came in the daytime as well. + +There were many opinions offered as to the cause of these disturbances, +by different persons at different times. Dr. Coleridge "considered it +to be a contagious nervous disease, the acme or intensest form of which +is catalepsy." Mr. Owen here asks if the mastiff was cataleptic also? +It is rather curious that a _cat_ is mentioned in this narrative. Now +supposing the _dog_ could not have been _cat_aleptic, the cat might +perhaps have been so. + +Some of the Wesley family believed it to be supernatural hauntings, and +give the following reason for it:--It appears that at morning and +evening family prayers, "when the Rev. Samuel Wesley, the father, +commenced the prayer for the king, a knocking began all round the room, +and a thundering knock attended the _Amen_." Mr. Wesley observed that +his wife did not say _amen_ to the prayer for the king. She said she +could not, for she did not believe that the Prince of Orange was king. +Mr. Wesley vowed he could not live with her until she did. He took his +horse and rode away, and she heard nothing of him for a twelvemonth. He +then came back and lived with her, as before, and although he did so, +they add, that they fear this vow was not forgotten before GOD. + +If any religious persons were asked whether they thought that any law, +natural or divine, could be suspended or set aside without the +permission or sanction of the CREATOR, their answer would be, nay, +_must_ be, _certainly not_. Yes, this would be their answer. Then is it +not extraordinary that the members of this pious clergyman's family, +and from whence sprang the founder of such a large and respectable +religious sect, should have such a mean idea of the SUPREME BEING, as +to suppose that HE would allow the regular laws of the universe to be +suspended or set aside, and whole families (including unoffending +innocent children) to be disturbed, terrified, and sometimes seriously +injured, for such contemptible, ridiculous, and senseless reasons, or +purposes, such as those assigned in the various cases already alluded +to. It is indeed to me surprising that any one possessing an atom of +sound Christian religion, can suppose and maintain for one moment that +these silly, supposed supernatural sounds and appearances can be, as +they say, "of GOD." + +We may defy the supporters of this apparition doctrine to bring forward +one circumstance in connection with these ghosts, which corresponds in +any way with the real character of the CREATOR, where any real benefit +has been known to result from such sounds and such appearances--none, +none, none; whereas we know that there has been a large amount of human +suffering, illness, folly, and mischief, and in former times, we know, +to a large and serious extent, but even now, in this "age of +intellect," when we come to investigate the causes of some of the most +painful diseases amongst children and young persons, particularly young +females, we find, on the authority of the first medical men, that they +are occasioned by being frightened by mischievous, thoughtless, or +cruel persons, mainly in consequence of being _taught in their +childhood to believe in ghosts_. I know a young lady who, when a child, +was placed in a dark closet by her nurse, and so terrified in this way +that the poor little girl lost her speech, and has been dumb ever +since. Dr. Elliotson, in one of his reports of the Mesmeric Hospital, +cites several most distressing and painful cases of "chorea," or St. +Vitus's dance, and dreadful fits, brought on through fright; and Dr. +Wood, physician to St. Luke's Hospital (for lunatics), assures me that +many cases of insanity are produced by terror from these causes; but +even supposing that there are not very many cases of positive insanity +brought on in this way, still the unnatural excitement thus acting on +the brain, or the mind dwelling upon such matters, must have an +unhealthy tendency. + +If all rational and religious persons will give this subject the +attention which it demands, they will, I feel confident, see, that this +belief in ghosts should not only be discountenanced, but put an end to +altogether, if possible, as such notions not only have an injurious +effect upon the health and comfort of many persons, particularly those +of tender age, but it also debases the proper ideas which man ought to +have of the CREATOR; and not only so, but it also interferes with and +trenches upon that mysterious and sacred question, _the immortality of +the soul_; that it disturbs that belief which, with a firm trust and +reliance upon the goodness and mercy of GOD, is the only consolation +the afflicted mind can have, when mourning for the loss of those they +have loved dearer than themselves. + +These hauntings of drumming and knocking, and thumping and bumping, +with thundering noises, almost shaking the houses down, accompanied by +the _delicate_ rustlings of silk and _trailing_ of gowns, etc., were at +the time suspected of being _tricks_; and by the perusal of the +following cases the reader will see that such tricks _can_ and _have_ +been played, and such imposture carried on so successfully as to +deceive clergymen and others; and but for the severe _natural_ tests +brought to bear upon the supposed supernatural actors, would no doubt +have been quoted by Mr. Owen and others as well-attested, +well-established, veritable spiritual performances. + +At the corner of a street which runs from Snow Hill into Smithfield, +stands what _I_ consider a public nuisance, commonly called a +"public-house," the sign of "The Cock," and that which is now a street +was formerly a rustic lane, and took its name from the sign of that +house, and therefore called to this day "Cock Lane," which locality, in +about the years 1754 to 1756, became one of the most celebrated places +in London, in consequence, as it was believed, of one of the houses +therein being taken possession of by a female ghost, who was designated +"the Cock Lane ghost." + +A man of the name of Parsons kept the house, and in which lodged a +gentleman and his wife of the name of Kempe. This lady died at this +house, and after her death it was given out by Parsons that his +daughter, then eleven years of age (who used to sleep with Mrs. Kempe +when her husband was out of town), was "possessed" with the spirit of +the deceased lady, and that the spirit had informed the little girl +that she had been murdered by her husband--that she had been +"poisoned!" A vast number of respectable ladies and gentlemen, +including clergymen, were "taken in"--but happily for themselves not +"done for"--by this ghost; and it is said that even the celebrated Dr. +Samuel Johnson was _convinced_ of the spirituality of the "knocks" +which the ghost gave in answer to questions, for it kept up +conversations in precisely the same manner--that is, by "knocks" or +"raps"--as the "spirit-rappers" do at the present day. The +"scratchings" and "knocks" were only heard when Parson's little +daughter was in bed. + +After this sort of thing had gone on for a considerable time, and a +_post-mortem_ examination of the body of the supposed murdered lady, +which had been deposited in the vaults of St. John's, Clerkenwell +Close, Mr. Kempe found it necessary to take steps to defend his +character. The child was removed to the house of a highly-respectable +lady, where "not a sound was heard," no "scratchings" or "knocks," for +several nights; but the girl Parsons, who was now a year or two older, +upon going to bed one night informed the watchers that the ghost would +pay a visit the following morning; but the servants of the house +informed the watchers that the young lady had taken a bit of wood, six +inches long by four inches broad, into bed with her, which she had +concealed in her stays. This bit of wood was used to "stand the kettle +on." The imposture was discovered, and the poor girl confessed to the +wicked trickery which her _parents_ had taught her to practise! + +Mr. Kempe indicted Parsons and others for conspiracy against his life +and character, the case was tried before Lord Mansfield at Guildhall, +July 10th, 1756, and all the parties convicted. The Rev. Mr. More and a +printer, with others, were heavily fined. Parsons was set in the +pillory three times in one month and imprisoned for two years, his wife +for one year, and Mary Eraser, the "Medium," for six months in +Bridewell, and kept to hard labour. It came out in the course of +investigation that Master Parsons had borrowed some money of Mr. Kempe, +and it was rather suspected that he did not want to pay it back again. + +Another celebrated spiritual farce was enacted in 1810, entitled "_The +Sampford Ghost_." This is a village near Tiverton, in Devonshire, and +the following striking performances were "attested by _affidavit_ of +the Rev. C. Cotton," who, by the by, was of opinion that "a belief in +ghosts is favourable to virtue." + +Imprimis, "stamping on the boards answered by similar sounds underneath +the flooring, and these sounds followed the persons through the upper +apartments and answered the stamping of the feet. The servant women +were beaten in bed 'with a fist,' a candlestick thrown at the master's +head but did not hit him, heard footsteps, no one could be seen walking +round, candles were alight but could see no one, but steps were heard +'like a man's foot in a slipper,' with rapping at the doors, etc. etc. +After this the servants were slapped, pushed, and buffeted. The bed was +more than once stuck full of pins, loud repeated knockings were heard +in all the upper rooms, the house shook, the windows rattled in their +casements, and all the horrors of the most horrible of romances were +accumulated in this devoted habitation." Amongst other things it was +_declared_ by a man, of the rather suspicious name of "Dodge," that the +prentice boy had seen "an old woman descend through the ceiling." + +The house was tenanted by a man of the name of Chave, a huckster. The +landlord was a Mr. Tully, who determined to investigate this matter +himself, and went to sleep, or rather to pass the night, at the house +for this purpose. The account says that "he took with him a reasonable +degree of scepticism, a considerable share of common sense;" and I +believe a good thick stick, which is, in my opinion, a much more +powerful instrument in _laying_ these kinds of ghosts than the +old-fashioned remedy of "bell, book, and candle." + +When Mr. Tully went to the house he saw "Dodge" speaking to Mrs. Chave +in the shop, and also saw him leave the house; but when he went up +stairs by himself who should he see but this same "Dodge," who had got +up stairs by a private entrance, but who could not _dodge_ out of Mr. +Tully's way. So Mr. Tully pounced upon him and locked him in the room, +where he also found a mopstick "battered at the end into splinters and +covered with whitewash," and this was the ghost that answered the +stamping on the floors. Mr. Tully went to bed, and as no ghosts thumped +he went to sleep and had a good night's rest; and upon examining the +house the next day, found the ceilings below in "a state of +mutilation," from the ghostly thumps it had received. + +Tho cause of the house being _haunted_ was a conspiracy on the part of +Chave and his friends to get the house at a _very low rent_, as _he_ +would not mind living on the promises, but other persons would not, of +course, be likely to take a "haunted house." + +A drunken mob one day met and assaulted Chave after this trick was +exposed, and he took refuge in his "haunted house," from whence he +fired a pistol and shot one man dead. Another man was also killed at +the same time, thus two lives were sacrificed to this "Sampford ghost." +The Rev. C. Cotton died shortly after this ghost was discovered to be a +flam, or _sham_ ghost; it was supposed of chagrin and vexation at being +made a _butt_ of by the vulgar for his simplicity and credulity. + +Another sensation farce was "The Stockwell Ghost," which performed its +tricks very cleverly and successfully at a farm-house in that place in +the year 1772. It broke nearly every bit of glass, china, and crockery +in the house, and no discovery was made at the time of the _how_, the +_why_, or the _wherefore_. But in "The Every Day Book," edited and +published by W. Hone, the whole matter is explained in the confession +of a woman who lived at the house as servant girl at the time, and who +played the part of the ghost so well, that she escaped detection, and +came off, only suspected by a few. + +The inutility of attempting to do away entirely with this popular +belief in ghosts by _arguments_, however well founded on reason and +science, has already been hinted at; but it will be only fair that +_science_ should just put a word in, as it can do no harm and may do +good. + +In "Sketches of the Philosophy of Apparition, or an Attempt to Trace +such Illusions to their Physical Causes, by Samuel Hibbert, M.D., +F.R.S.E.," the author states his opinion to be that "Apparitions are +nothing more than ideas or recollected images of the mind, which have +been rendered more vivid than actual impressions," perhaps by morbid +affections. It is also pointed out that "in ghost stories of a supposed +supernatural character which by disease are rendered so unduly intense +as to induce spectral illusions, may be traced to such fantastical +objects of prior belief as are incorporated in the various systems of +superstition which for ages have possessed the minds of the vulgar." +"Spectral illusions arise from a highly excited state of the nervous +irritability acting generally upon the system, or from inflammation of +the brain." + +"The effect induced on the brain by intoxication from ardent spirits, +which have a strong tendency to inflame this organ, is attended with +very remarkable effects. These have lately been described as symptoms +of 'delirium tremens.' Many cases are recorded which show the liability +of the patient to long-continued spectral impressions." + +Sir David Brewster represents these phenomena as images projected on +the retina--from the brain, and seen with the eyes open or shut. + +Of the many causes assigned for spectral illusions the following may be +enumerated:--Holy ecstasies, various diseases of the brain, diseases of +the eye, extreme sensibility or nervous excitement from fright, various +degrees of fever, effects of opium, delirium tremens, ignorance and +superstition, catalepsy, and confused, indistinct, or uncomprehended +natural causes. Now all persons who suppose they see ghosts are at +liberty to select any of the foregoing causes for their being so +deluded, for delusion it is, as I hope presently to prove; but they may +rest assured that these supposed spectres are always produced either by +disease or by over-excited imagination, which in some cases it may be +said amounts to disease. + +However, to return to the ghosts. A very common, or rather _the_ +common, idea of a ghost is generally a very _thin_ and _scraggy_ +figure; but if there are such things there must be _fat_ ghosts as well +as _thin_ ghosts; fat or thin people are equally eligible "to put in an +appearance" of this sort if they can; and to carry out this idea and +make it quite clear, I here introduce an old acquaintance of the +public, Mr. Daniel Lambert, as he appeared to _my_ _un_-excited +imagination whilst engaged on this work. Now if Daniel came as an +apparition, he must, according to the authorities in these matters, not +only "come in his habits as he lived," that is, in the clothes he wore, +but must also come in his _fat_, or he would not be recognized as the +fattest man "and the heaviest man that ever lived," and although he +weighed "52 stone 11 pounds" (14 lb. to the stone) in the flesh, in the +spirit, he would, of course, be "as light as a feather," or rather an +"air bubble;" and as he could not dance and jump about when alive, I +thought if I brought him in as a ghost, I'd give him a bit of a treat, +and let him dance upon the "tight rope." + +Most persons will remember a story told by "Pliny the younger" of the +apparition of "an old" man appearing to Athenadorous, a Greek scholar. +This ghost was "lean, haggard, and _dirty_," with "dishevelled hair +and a long beard." He had "chains on," and came "shaking his chains" +at the Greek scholar, who heeded him not, but went on with his +studies. The old ghost, however, "came close to him and shook his +chains over his head as he sat at the table," whereupon Athenadorous +arose and followed the dirty old man in his chains, who went into the +courtyard and "stamped his foot upon a stone about the centre of it, +and--disappeared." The Greek scholar marked the spot, and next day had +the place dug up, when, lo and behold, they found there the skeleton +of a human being. + +Going back to the days of "Pliny the younger" is going back far enough +into early history for my purpose, which is to show that the notions +about apparitions which prevailed at that period are the same as those +of the present day, that is, of their _appearing in the dresses they +wore in their life-time, in every minute particular_, as to _form_, +_colour_, and _condition_, _new_ or _old_, as the case might be; but to +prevent any mistake upon this head, I will just add some few words from +that _reliable_ authority, Defoe, who, you will have already remarked, +is _exceedingly particular_ as to the exactness of every article of +dress; but in what follows he goes far beyond any other writer on this +subject, for instance he says, "We see them dressed in the very clothes +which we have _cut_ to _pieces_, and given away, some to one body, some +to another, or applied to this or that use, so that we can _give an +account of every rag of them_. We can hear them speaking with the same +voice and sound, though the organ which formed their former speech we +are sure is perished and gone." + +From the various instances of the appearance of apparitions which have +been brought before the reader, it will, I presume, be admitted that +abundant and sufficient proof has been given that the writers about +ghosts, and all those who have professed to have seen ghosts, declare +that _they appear in the dresses which they wore in their lifetime_; +but from all I have been able to learn, it does not appear that from +the days of Pliny the younger down to the days of Shakespeare, and from +thence down to the present time, THAT ANY ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT OF THE +GROSS ABSURDITY, AND IMPOSSIBILITY, OF THERE BEING SUCH THINGS AS +GHOSTS OF WEARING APPAREL, IRON ARMOUR, WALKING STICKS, AND SHOVELS! +NO, NOT ONE, except myself, and this I claim as my DISCOVERY CONCERNING +GHOSTS, and that therefore it follows, as a matter of course, that as +ghosts _cannot_, _must not_, _dare not_, for decency's sake, appear +WITHOUT CLOTHES; and as there can be no such things AS GHOSTS OR +SPIRITS OF CLOTHES, why, then, it appears that GHOSTS NEVER DID APPEAR, +AND NEVER CAN APPEAR, at any rate not in the way in which they have +been hitherto supposed to _appear_. + +And now let us glance at the _material_ question, or question of +_materialism_. + +In the year 1828, a work was published, entitled "PAST FEELINGS +RENOVATED; or, IDEAS occasioned by the perusal of DR. HIBBERT'S +PHILOSOPHY of APPARITIONS," which the author says were "written with +the view of counteracting any sentiments approaching _materialism_, +which that work, however unintentional on the part of the author, may +have a tendency to produce." The author of "Past Feelings Renovated" is +a firm believer in apparitions, who generally "come in their _habits_ +as they lived;" and in his preface he says, "The general tendency of +Dr. Hibbert's work, and evident fallacy of many of the arguments in +support of opinions too nearly approaching '_materialism_,' induced me +to give the subject that _serious consideration_ which it imperatively +demands." + +This author, it will be perceived, is very much opposed to anything +like "_materialism_" in relation to this question, and is strongly in +favour of "_spiritualism_," but will he be so good as to tell us what +"A PAIR OF BUCKSKINS" are made of? and what A PAIR OF TOP-BOOTS are +made of? and whether these materials are _spiritualized_ by any +process, or whether THE CLOTHES WE WEAR ON OUR BODIES BECOME A PART AND +PARCEL OF OUR SOULS? And as it is clearly impossible for spirits to +wear dresses made of the _materials_ of the _earth_, we should like to +know if there are spiritual-outfitting shops for the clothing of ghosts +who pay visits on earth, and if empty, haunted houses are used for this +purpose, in the same way as the establishments, and after the manner of +"Moses and Son," or "Hyam Brothers," or such like houses of business, +or if so, then there must be also the _spirit_ of woollen cloth, the +_spirit_ of leather, the _spirit_ of a coat, the _spirit_ of boots and +shoes. There must also be the _spirit_ of trousers, _spirits_ of +gaiters, waistcoats, neckties, _spirits_ of buckles, for shoes and +knees; _spirit_ of buttons, "bright gilt buttons;" _spirits_ of hats, +caps, bonnets, gowns, and petticoats; _spirits_ of hoops and crinoline, +and _ghost's_ stockings. Yes; only think of the _ghosts_ of stockings, +but if the ghost of a lady had to make her appearance here, she could +not present herself before company without her shoes and stockings, so +_there must be_ + + +GHOSTS OF STOCKINGS. + +Most persons will surely feel some hesitation in accepting the +assertions made by Defoe, that ghosts appear in clothes that have been +cut up, or distributed in different places, or destroyed, or that they +come in the same garments that are being worn at the same moment by +living persons, or which are at the time of appearing, in wardrobes or +old clothes shops; or, perhaps, thousands of miles away from the spot +where the ghost pays his unwelcome visit, or worn or torn into rags, +and stuck upon a broomstick "to frighten away the crows." No, no, I +think we may rest assured that ghosts could not appear in these +dresses, or shreds and patches; in fact, that they could not show +themselves in any dress made of the materials of the earth as already +suggested; and, therefore, if they did wear any dresses they must have +been composed of a _spiritual material_, if it be possible to unite, in +any way, two such opposites. Then comes the question, from whence is +this spiritual material obtained, and also if there are spirit +manufactories, spirit weavers and spinners, and spirit tanners and "tan +pits?" + +If this be so, then there must, of course, be ghost tailors, working +with ghosts of needles (how sharp _they_ must be!), and ghosts of +threads (and how fine _they_ must be!), and the ghost of a "sleeve +board," and the ghost of the iron, which the tailors use to flatten the +seams, called a "goose" (only think of the ghost of a tailor's +"goose!") Then there must be the ghost of a "bootmaker," with the ghost +of a "lapstone," and a "last," and the spirit of "cobbler's wax!" Ghost +of "button makers," "wig makers," and "hatters;" and, indeed, of every +trade necessary to fit out a ghost, either lady or gentleman, in order +to make it appear that they really did appear "in their habits as they +lived." + +There are, I know, many respectable worthy persons even at the present +day who believe they sometimes see apparitions, and I would here take +the liberty to advise such persons to ponder a little upon the above +remarks relative to the clothing of spirits, and, when again they think +they see a GHOST, recollect that with the exception of the _face_ and a +little bit of the _neck_ perhaps, and also the _hands_, if without +gloves, that _all the other parts are_ CLOTHES. And I would also take +the liberty to suggest that he should ask the ghost these +questions:--"Who's your tailor?" and "Who's your hatter?" + +Whatever the belief of the "Bard of Avon" might have been with respect +to ghosts, it is quite clear that in these cases he was merely +exercising his great poetical talent to work out the several points of +popular belief in apparitions, for the purpose of producing a striking +"stage effect;" but all that he brings forward, goes to prove the +long-established faith in these aerial beings, and the general and +almost universal requisites of character and costume. But it probably +never entered the great mind of this great poet that there could be no +such thing as a ghost of IRON, for if it had, he would, no doubt, have +dressed up the ghost of Hamlet's father in some sort of suit rather +more aerial than a suit of steel armour. There may be "more things +'twixt heaven and earth" than were dreamt of in Horatio's philosophy; +but the ghost of _Iron_ armour could not be one of these things, be +included in the list, and on reverting to this ghost, the reader will +observe that I have given no figure in that suit of armour, and no head +to the figure of Napoleon the First, and for this reason, the art of +drawing, you will please to observe, is a severe critical test in +matters of this sort. For suppose an artist is employed to make a +drawing of this ghost of Hamlet's father, he will begin, or ought to +begin, first to sketch out, very lightly, the size and attitude of the +figure required; then suppose he makes out the face; and then begins to +work on the helmet, but here he stops--why? because if he has any +thought, he will say this is not _spirit_, this is manufactured iron! +And so with the other parts of the figure, all except the face is +_material_; and then to my old enemy in one sense, and _friend_ in +another--Napoleon, for I volunteered, and armed myself to assist to +keep him from coming over here before I was twenty years of age; and as +a caricaturist, what by turning him, sometimes into ridicule, and +sometimes, in fact very often I may say, killing him with my sharp +etching needle, "little Boney" used very frequently to give me a good +solid bit of meat, and make my "pot boil." But with respect to this +headless figure, if the artist is requested to make a drawing of the +spirit of this great general, he would, after making out the face, +begin with the collar of the coat, and then stop--and why? Because the +coat is no part of a _spirit_, and if the whole of the figure were +finished with the face in, what would that be but the spirit of the +_face_ of Napoleon; all the rest would consist of a cocked-hat, with +tricolored cockade; a military coat, with buttons; a waistcoat, a sword +and sash, leather gloves, and leather pantaloons, jack-boots, and +spurs! Are, or can these things be _spiritual_? If the end of the +finger is placed over the space which is left for the face of Napoleon, +the figure will be recognized as _his without the head_; and so with +Hamlet's father, place the end of the finger in front of the helmet, +and the armour will pass for the ghost; and do the like with the figure +of Daniel Lambert, put the head out of sight, _all the rest_ is +neck-handkerchief, a bit of shirt, a coat, a waistcoat, a pair of +gloves, small clothes (not very _small_ by the by), an immense pair of +stockings, and the points of a pair of shoes; and as to the headless +ghost of the gentleman in the _blue_ coat and gilt buttons, that is +also NOTHING BUT A SUIT OF CLOTHES. + +The reader will recollect that Daniel Defoe, Mrs. Crowe, and Mr. Owen, +and other authors have all introduced GHOSTS OF WIGS amongst their +facts, in support of spiritual apparitions, so if there are ghosts of +"wigs," there must also be GHOSTS OF "PIGTAILS," because they were +sometimes a part of a wig; and in taking leave of the reader, I take +the liberty of introducing a ghost of a wig and pigtail, who will make +a polite bow for the humble author and artist of this "DISCOVERY +CONCERNING GHOSTS." + + + + +ADDENDA. + + +Just as I depicted the ghost of the wig and pigtail to bow out all +the OLD-FASHIONED GHOSTS, methought I heard a voice say, "Well, sir, +suppose it _granted_ that you _have_ shown the UTTER IMPOSSIBILITY +of there being such things as GHOSTS of HATS, COATS, STICKS, and +UMBRELLAS; admitting that you really have "laid" all these ghosts of +the old style, what say you to the "spirit manifestations" of the +present day?" + +Well, this does certainly seem to be putting rather a "_Home_ +question"--a "Home thrust," if you please; but sharp as the question +may be, and difficult as it may seem to answer, I am not going to shirk +the question. + +In the first place, this _inquiring_ spirit must please to recollect +that these "spirit-rappers" of the present day are almost an entirely +_new-fashioned_ spirit, a different sort of ghost altogether, or ghosts +in "piecemeal;" only _bits_ of spirits, who _never come of their own +accord_, and have to be _squeezed_ out of a table bit by bit, when they +do hold up a hand, or tap or touch people's legs under the table with +their hand, or a bit of one. But never having attended a "_seance_," I +cannot give the _inquiring_ spirit any information about these spirits +from my own personal knowledge. If the inquirer wishes to know "all +about" these spirits, he had better apply to Mr. D. D. Home, who is +quite "at home" with these spirits, upon the most "familiar" terms! in +fact, "hand and glove" with them; and they feel so much at home with +Mr. Home, that they are constantly putting their _hands_ and _arms_, if +not their _legs_, "under his mahogany." I therefore take the liberty of +referring "Inquirer" to this Home medium, or any other medium, Home or +foreign, for a "full, true, and particular account" of the character +and conduct of these new-fashioned, New-found-_land_ ghosts or +spiritual _gentlefolk_, for it does not appear that there are any of +the "working-class" amongst them. + +It has been asserted by Mr. Home, that he has seen "full length" +ghosts. These I shall put to the _test_ a little further on. + +As I intend putting a few _questions_ myself to these "mediums," or +through this medium, to the spirits, I have to hope that these +questions of mine will be taken by the _inquiring_ spirits who question +me as an answer to _their_ question upon what may be at present +considered upon the whole as almost, if not entirely, _unanswerable_, +at least with the ordinary natural organs of thought and judgment, and +therefore it must be left to these tabular spirits or their mediums to +explain (that is, if they can) that which, to the "outsiders," as the +affair stands at this moment, is an _inexplicable puzzle_. + +In bringing forward my questions, I will take the liberty of making an +extract from the "Times," of the 9th of April last, where Mr. D. D. +Home's book of "Incidents in my Life," is reviewed with considerable +acumen and ability; and wherein the writer states that a Dr. Wilkinson +was desirous of obtaining some information and explanations respecting +the "ways and means" of these spirits. The Doctor asked Mr. Home why +the effects (that is, the manifestations) "took place _under_ the table +and not _upon_ it." Mr. Home said, that "in habituated circles the +results were easily obtained above board, visibly to all, but that at +the first sitting it was not so; that scepticism was almost universal +in men's intellects, and marred the forces at work; that the spirits +accomplish what they do through our _life sphere_, or _atmosphere_, +which was _permeated at our wills_, and if _the will_ was _contrary_, +the _sphere_ was unfit for being operated upon." Moreover, allowance +must be made for a certain indisposition on the part of the spirits (as +we infer a sort of spiritual bashfulness), "which deters them from +exhibiting their members in a state of imperfect formation." When some +had merely a _single finger_ put upon their knees, "Mr. Home said that +the presenting spirits could often make _one finger_ where they could +not _make two_, and two where they could not form an _entire hand_, +just as they could form a hand where they could not realize a whole +human figure" (for there seems never to have been life sphere at a +_seance_ adequate to the exhibition of an entire figure, "THOUGH MR. +HOME HAS FREQUENTLY SEEN SPIRITS IN THEIR FULL PROPORTIONS WHEN +ALONE"). + +And now for one of my questions, which question is not only _my_ +question, but a public question, and one which Mr. Home is bound to +answer, if he can. I therefore publicly call upon that gentleman to +inform the public if these SPIRITS, which he saw in their "FULL +PROPORTIONS," were in a state of NUDITY, or if they had CLOTHES on? and +if CLOTHED, of what those CLOTHES WERE MADE? If he does not know these +particulars of his own knowledge, as he has the _ear_ of these spirits, +their _entire_ confidence, and as they have _his_ ear, let him call +upon them to let him into the secret of the manufacture of their +garments, or how the spirits procure them; and until Mr. Home explains +this satisfactorily to the public, we have a right to suspect that +either he has been himself deceived, or that he----Perhaps I had better +not finish the sentence. + +The "_inquiring_ spirit" will see that the _clothes_ are the test, and +this test stands good here, as well as with the _old_ fashioned ghosts, +and this, I presume, will be allowed as rather a "Home question" to Mr. +Home; a Home thrust which he can only parry by giving the information +asked; which, if he does not, I will not say "Britons, _strike_ Home," +but unless he or the spirits "rap" out a satisfactory answer, he may +rely upon it that he will feel the weight of public opinion, which will +weigh rather heavily upon him. But I give him a first-rate chance of +becoming exceedingly popular, for the mass, the millions, are ready to +believe anything in the _shape_ of a fact, and I am confident that the +whole world would be delighted to get hold of such a secret as this. It +would be, perhaps, extreme cruelty to put this gentleman _quite_ "out +of spirits;" but unless he tells us what the clothes of spirits are +made of, I should say that he will stand in rather an awkward position +before the bar of public opinion. + + Another question here I'll put, about this spirit "D D outfit," + Which I fear that the spirits won't answer, just as yet-- + It is a question, I grant, that looks _rather_ queer, + Which is--are their "togs" made out of our _atmosphere_? + If the cloth is made out of stuff "_permeated by our wills_"-- + And further, if these ghosts are honest, and pay their tailors' bills? + +And then, as to the handy craft and crafty hands-- + + Oh tell us if warm hands, and cold-- + So cold! so cold! oh dear!-- + Are made in any kind of mould, + Or how they trick 'em out of our "life sphere?" + +Now supposing, nay even admitting, that the _hands_ of spirits are +exhibited at these _seances_, does it not really seem to be impossible +to believe that they are made out of the air that surrounds the persons +who surround the table!!! + +Making fingers and hands out of our "life-sphere" or "atmosphere!" +"permeated by our wills!" Well, I was going to say, "after that comes +in a horse to be shaved," but really I hardly know what to say; for +whilst reading the accounts of these spirits, I feel almost bewildered, +and as the mediums say that there is what they call "spirit-writing," +and that spirits seize the person's wrist, and make them write just +what they wist, I suspect that the spirit of botheration has got hold +of my hand, and is making me write what it pleases; and I therefore +hope the "gentle reader" will excuse me if I write down here "Handy +pandy, Jack a dandy," or any other childish nonsense; for as this table +lifting and turning seems to alter and set aside altogether the law of +gravitation and all the universal laws of the universe, that used to be +thought by simple people as fixed and unalterable, so likewise these +"spirit hands" and "spirit rapping" seem to put reason and rationality +entirely out of the field. Therefore, as common sense cannot be used in +any sense on this question, as it is utterly useless in the present +state of affairs to attempt to "chop logic" with "raps," and their +mediums upon such tables as these, it will be here quite in place to +talk a little nonsense. The reader will therefore, I am sure, bear with +me if I make two or three silly suggestions upon this phenomena of +moving tables. + +Under ordinary circumstances, when persons who are not "habituated" +have any natural substance to deal with--say, for instance, a _deal_ +table--the mind naturally endeavours to account in a natural way for +such a piece of furniture moving or being moved without any assignable +natural cause. Common sense in this case being "put out of court," and +the scientific world having seemingly "given it up," there is no other +source left but to deal with the spirits or their mediums in this +matter; and I would here ask if these _tables_, heavy or light, are +moved by this "life-sphere" or "atmosphere" which is "permeated by our +wills;" or if the hands made out of this airy nothing move and lift the +furniture? As _they can_ give an answer to the query, we shall all +surely be very much obliged to them if they will do so; and whilst they +are preparing their answer, I will go on with a little more nonsense, +and make a most ridiculous suggestion upon the table lifting, quite as +ridiculous perhaps as anything that has emanated from the spirits or +their mediums. It may seem absurd to bring "Dame Nature" into this +"circle," but nevertheless it does seem true that animals who are +associated with man seem to partake, to a very large extent, of man's +intelligence. Dogs particularly so, cats pretty well, and even pigs +have been known, when domesticated, to be cleanly and polite, and of +course we have all heard of the "learned pig." Dear little birds, and +even asses and geese, have been known to share in this "life sphere" or +"atmosphere" of man's brain. I knew a man who was educating and +training a goose, to come out before the public as a performer as a +_learned_ goose, which intention was unfortunately not carried out, in +consequence of an accident which happened to the poor bird about +"Michaelmas" time. It appears that he got placed so near a large fire +that he was very soon "_done brown_," and upon a "post mortem" +examination it was discovered that he was stuffed full of _sage_ and +onion. + +We are so accustomed to have intelligent animals about us, that we do +not look upon it as anything very extraordinary. Nevertheless, the +phenomena is not the less wonderful for all that. Now I lay this +question on the table, for the spirits to rap out an answer--viz., as +tables and chairs are associated with man (and woman, of course), can, +or is the vital spark, or life principle, conveyed from the body into +the wood, which is _porous_, and can it make these otherwise +_inanimate_ objects "all alive alive O?" The reader must excuse me for +asking such a silly question, and will please to recollect that I am +not putting the question to him, but to the silly spirits and their +mediums, for these _spirits_, it is stated, are sometimes quite as +silly as _any body_ can be. I therefore ask again whether the vital +principle or force is conveyed into the tables whilst the parties or +"circle" are pressing their hands upon it; and if not, please to tell +us what it is, for the "outer" world are very anxious and waiting to +know. It must be observed that the tables only move under this +_pressure_, and whilst the "circle" is thus acting and using its +_atmospheric_ influence, otherwise the tables might or would be always +jumping about the room; and if the tables are not thus moved by animal +heat, how would the animal man be able to get his meals? And it follows +as a natural--beg pardon, spiritual--consequence, that if this be not +the case, or the cause, then are the spirits a very thoughtful and +well-behaved society, to be thus careful not to rattle or roll the +table about and jump it up and down when the dinner is spread; or +perhaps these spirits partake of the "good things of this life," as +very poor French emigrants used to do, namely, by merely _smelling_ the +viands at a cook's shop--"sniff, sniff, ah! dat is nice a roast a +bef--sniff, sniff, ah! dat nice piece de veal--ah! sniff, sniff, dat a +nice piece a de pork--ah! ah! sniff, sniff"--but if they don't _eat_ it +appears they _drink_; for in an article by R. H. Hatton, in the +"Victoria Magazine,"[5] entitled "The Unspiritual World of Spirits," it +states that Mr. Howitt "believes in a modern German ghost that drank +beer," which called forth the words (with a horrible exclamation), "it +swallows!" and at a "_seance_" held at a chateau near Paris, three +years back, a gentleman asked for some brandy and water, which when +brought was "snatched out of his hold by a spirit-hand which carried it +beneath the table," and "the glass came back _empty_." We are told that +the spirits have difficulty in making a finger; if so, they must have a +greater difficulty in "making mouths;" but suppose they do make a +mouth, and the spirits drink the beer and spirits, where is the liquid +to go to, if they have made no stomach out of the _atmosphere_ of the +_ladies_ and gentlemen forming the "circle" round the table? This does +not look as if it were "all fair and above board;" but, on the +contrary, very much as if there were some clever rascally little +_bodies_ playing their pranks and taking the "spirits" under the table; +however, if it be the _real_ spirits who drank the beer and spirits, I +as a teetotaler must express my disgust at such conduct, and, for one, +will have nothing to do with such spirits; indeed, I am quite shocked +to find, contrary to all former ideas of spiritual life, that even +these "_pure_ spirits" have still a taste for the spirit of alcohol. I +really begin to fear that these drinking, if not drunken spirits, do +haunt the "spirit-vaults." The _beer_ they drink is, I presume, +"_Home_-brewed." + + [5] Published by Emily Faithful. And I take this opportunity + of wishing success to the "Victoria Magazine," as a part of + the good work in which that lady is engaged. + +But to turn again to the "table-turning." One way that I would suggest +this question, to test, as to whether it be the life principle that +gives a sort of life to these wooden _legs_, and _drawers_, and _body_, +and _flaps_, from which the spirits send out their "raps," would be, to +substitute an IRON TABLE, a good heavy iron table, and as it is said +they can lift any weight, let 'em lift that; and if not iron, then try +a good large MARBLE SLAB. If the iron will not "enter into _their_ +soul," let them try if their _soul_ will enter into the iron, or if the +stone will be moved by the "atmosphere" of their flesh and their bone. + +Wonders, it is said, will never cease, and most assuredly some of the +tales told of these "_seances_," and some of the reported spirit +exhibitions are so wonderful, so astounding, that one does not know +_how_ to believe them; and there are certain circumstances in some +parts of the performance that look so _like_ trickery, that it is +impossible to accept the _whole_ relation as fact, however much we +might feel disposed to receive a part thereof. Some of these +performances are performed in the dark, in the "pitch dark," so dark +that the company cannot see each other; and it is in this state of +"inner" and "utter" darkness that the spirits prefer to lift Mr. Home, +and _float him up to the ceiling_,[6] so that the spirits who lift him +are "_invisible_ spirits," and Mr. Home is _invisible_ also. And this +makes me think that these spirits are without clothing, and being so, +are ashamed to show themselves. I put this as a question to Mr. Home, +and also, as they only _make_ hands and _shake_ hands, if they are not +"ashamed to show their faces," _why_ don't they _make faces_? (I don't +mean grimaces). But I should not only like to know why they don't make +some "atmospheric" "life-sphere" faces, but should also very much like +to sketch their likenesses, or "take them off," as people say. + + [6] I should like to ask a question here-- + Is Home by spirits lifted, or by "atmosphere?" + +Touching upon these faces reminds me that a new feature has been +introduced in this _new_ world, that is, taking up this new fashion of +the _old_ world by having "_carte de visites_." A Mr. _Mum_-ler, of +Boston, U.S., discovered that these spirits have a taste for art as +well as music, and that they have a little vanity like ourselves; and +it has since been discovered that _fraud_ has been _discovered_, of +photographers--"_palming off as spirit likeness_--_pictures of persons +now alive!_" But here comes the CLOTHES TEST again, these _spirited_ +portraits have all got their _clothes on_. Apparitions of suits of +clothes, spirits of _coats_, _boots_, and _ladies' dresses_!!! + +This _test_ of the _clothing_ is very severe, for without having +clothes the ghost can't appear; for even that extraordinary clever +invention of Professor Pepper's, the "patent" ghost, which he exhibited +at the Polytechnic Institution, and which is introduced into a piece +called "The Haunted Man and the Ghost's Bargain," now performing at the +Adelphi Theatre, and which ghost, I am sorry to say, I have not yet had +time to see, but this "patent ghost," of course, has CLOTHES on. In +fact, apparitions cannot appear without clothes, and apparitions of +clothes cannot appear; and so--but really I had quite forgotten that I +had left Mr. Home sticking up against the ceiling, upon which it +appears he makes his _mark_--all in the dark--as a kind of "skylark." +"_Seeing_ is believing," but as his friends could not see him, he was +obliged to do some thing of this sort, suspecting, I suppose, that his +friends would not take _his word_. When a light was thrown upon this +scene, Mr. Home was discovered lying upon his back upon the table! It +may be rude to say that all this was all a trick, but pardonable, +perhaps, to say it looks very like trickery. + +Talking of "skylarking," reminds me, that in conversation with a friend +of mine, who is a believer in Mr. Home, and expressing a doubt about +the possibility of Mr. H. kicking his heels up in the air in this way, +and asking if it were not imaginary, my friend assured me that it was +no "flight of fancy," that it was quite true, and that it was not at +all improbable but that some day, in daylight, we might "see Mr. Home +_floating across the metropolis_!" I suggested that Mr. H. had better +mind what he was about, as there was danger in such a flight, for some +short-sighted sports-man, or if not short-sighted, he might be in such +a state of _fuddle_ as not "to know a hawk from a hand saw," and might +mistake him for some gigantic, "monstrous blackbird," or some "_rara +avis_," and bring him down with his gun, though in this case he would +not want to "bag his game." + +To prevent such a hit as this, or rather such a _mis_chance, I would +suggest that due notice should be given to the public when Mr. Home +intends appearing up above the chimney-pots; and that in addition to +his _floating_, that the spirits should run him along the "electric +telegraph" wires. That would be something worth seeing, and much better +than the stupid, silly, nonsensical tricks they now play either on the +table or under the table. + +There used formerly, even in my time--I don't go back so far as the +reign of the Charles's, but to the days of the "charlies," as the old +watchmen were called, and before the "_new_ police" were introduced to +the public,--in those days ghost tricks were played in various parts of +London; one favourite spot was in front of St. Giles's churchyard, near +unto a "spirit vault." It used to be reported that there was a ghost +every night in this churchyard, but it was an invisible ghost, for it +never was seen, though there was a mob of people gaping and straining +their eyes to get a peep at it; but during this time, some low cunning +spirits used to creep out of the adjoining spirit vaults, mix amongst +the crowd, and having very _light fingers_, used, instead of _tapping_ +the people on the knees, as the spirits do at the "_seances_" they +dipped their hands into the "atmosphere" of respectable people's +pockets, and "spirited away" their watches, handkerchiefs, +pocket-books, or anything else that came in their way, and then bolt +into the vaults again. + +N.B.--These spirits could swallow _spirits_, like those described in +the preceding pages. + +Spirits of the old style used to delight in the darkness of night, but +sometimes they'd show their pale faces by moonlight. A "_seance_" is +described that took place by moonlight. I don't mean to _assert_ that +it was _all_ "moonshine." A table was placed in front of a window +between the curtains; the "circle" round the table and the space +between the curtains was the _stage_ where the performance took place. +Query: How did the mediums know, when they placed this table, that the +spirits who "lent a hand" in the performance would act their play at +that part of the table? By the by, the _table_ plays an important part +in these spirited pieces; the spirits surely would not be able to get +on at all without a _table_! At each side of this stage, lit by the +moon, and close to the window curtains, which formed as it were the +"proscenium," stood a gentleman, one on each side, like two +"prompters," one of whom was Mr. Home; and when one particular hand was +thrust up above the rim of the table, and which _hand_ had a _glove +on_, Mr. H. cried out, "Oh! keep me from that hand! it is so cold; do +not let it touch me." Query: How did Mr. H. know that this hand _was so +cold_? and had it put the glove on because it felt itself so cold? And +out of whose "atmosphere," or "life sphere" had the spirit made this +hand? if it were _so_ cold, it must have got the stuff through some +very _cold-hearted_ "medium." Then comes my _clothes test_ again, where +did the _hand_ get the _glove_? Suppose it was a _spirit hand_, the +hand of a soul that once did live on earth, could it be the _spirit_ of +a _glove_? Whilst waiting for an answer to these queries, I would +suggest to these "mediums," that if they see this "hand and glove" +again, they should ask, "Who's your glover?" Yes, it would be important +to obtain the name and address of such a glover, as such gloves, we may +suppose, would not wear out, nor require cleaning. + +An old and valued friend of mine attended a _seance_ in 1860, of which +he wrote a short account, and which he keeps (in manuscript) to lend to +his friends for their information and amusement, upon this subject; and +although he confesses that, as a novice, he was rather startled upon +one or two occasions during the evening, that the extraordinary +proceeding of the _seance_ had something of a _supernatural tinge_ +about it; nevertheless, upon mature reflection he came to the +conclusion that the whole was a very cleverly-managed piece of trickery +and imposture. As I am permitted to quote from this manuscript, I will +here give a short extract to show the reader how an American medium--a +Dr. _Dash_--assisted by two other "mediums," also Americans, _managed_ +the spirits upon that occasion. A party of eight were seated round a +table:-- + +"Shortly and anon, a change came o'er the spirit of the Doctor. He +jumped up and said, '_Hush! I hear a spirit_ rapping at the door.' + + * * * * * + +"The Doctor told us there was a spirit which wished to join our +_seance_, the door was opened, a chair was most politely placed at the +table, and there the spirit sat, but, like 'Banquo's' Ghost, _invisible +to the company_." + +In the Waterloo Road there resided--next door to each other--some years +back, two paperhangers, who vied with each other in doing +"stencilling"--that is, rubbing colour on walls through a _cut out_ +pattern; there was great opposition between them, and one of them (No. +1) wrote on the front of his house in _large_ letters, "THE ACME OF +STENCILLING," upon which No. 2, determined not to be outdone in this +style, wrote upon the front of his house in letters _double_ the size +of his neighbour's, "THE HEIGTH OF THE ACME OF STENCILLING." Now, I do +not know whether this pretended _introduction_ of an _invisible_ +spirit, and putting a chair for this worse than nothing to sit in, when +he had nothing to sit down upon, may be considered as the _heigth_ of +the _acme_ of unprincipled, impudent imposture; but it goes far enough +to show that trickery _can be and is carried on_, and carried on even +as a trade or "calling" in this "spirit-rapping" business, for I have +seen a printed card where a _professional_ "medium" gives his name and +address, and has on it, "Circles for Spiritual Manifestation--hours +from 12 to 3 and 5 to 10 P.M.;" to which is added, "Private Parties and +_Families_ visited." + +If such a card as this had been introduced in "The Broad Grin Jest +Book," some years back, it would have been quite in place, but to think +that such a card as this should be circulated in this "age of +intellect," as a _business_ card--the card of a "_Maitre de +Ceremonie_," who undertakes to introduce _invisible spirits_, into +parties and _private families_, is something more than I ever expected +to see, on the outside of Bethlem, or in the list of impostures at a +police station. + +As this Dr. _Dash_ pretended that spirits were "mixed up" with this +party--were indeed surrounding the "circle," and who had come into the +room _without knocking_, and were not _accommodated with chairs_, why +should this ghost of nothing knock at the door, and how did the Dr. +know that he wished to join the _seance_, and why should _this +invisible_ Mr. Nobody have a chair, and the other _spirits_ be obliged +to stand? And then was this spirit _dressed_ in his best? for as it was +an evening party, he ought to have been "dressed with care." + +The calling up of one spirit seems to call up or raise another spirit, +and as Dr. _Dash_ introduced a dumb and invisible spirit who was +supposed to take his seat at a table, I take this opportunity of +introducing a spirit of a very different character--one of the old +fashioned spirits--one that could both be seen and heard, and who was +_seen_ to take his seat at the table, and enter into conversation with +his friends. An extract from the "Registry of Brisley Church in 1706," +runs thus:--A Mr. Grose went to see a Mr. Shaw, and whilst these +gentlemen were quietly smoking their pipes, in comes (without +"rapping") the ghost of their friend Mr. Naylor. They asked him to sit +down, which he did, and they conversed together for about two hours; he +was asked how it fared with him, he replied, "Very well," and when he +seemed about to move, they asked him if he could not stay a little +longer, he replied that he "could not do so, for he had only three +days' leave of absence, and had other business to attend to."[7] + + [7] As, according to Mrs. Crowe, ghosts can smoke, and upon + equally good authority, spirits can swallow _spirits_, no + doubt this ghost of Mr. Naylor, who did not come without the + help of his tailor, took a pipe with his friends, and took + something to _drink_ with them also, for you may _rely_ upon + it, that the ghost's friends were not smoking a "_dry_ pipe." + +Now this is something like a ghost, whose visit you observe is recorded +in the registry of a parish church, and as the party I believe were all +clergymen, of course the Rev. Mr. Naylor came in his clerical "habits +as he lived," no doubt "dressed with care." Yes, this you see was a +respectable sort of ghost--one that you could see and listen to, not +such a poor "dummy" as Dr. _Dash's_ poor spiritless spirit, Mr. Nothing +Nobody, Esq., + + Who could neither be seen nor heard, + Which even to name, seems quite absurd. + +The reason for thus suddenly pretending to introduce a _spirit_, was to +produce an _effect_--a _sensation_--upon the nerves of the party +assembled (particularly the novices), for it is only under excited +nervous feelings that anything like success can attend the operations +of such "mediums." + +The CREATOR has so formed us that our nerves are more excitable in +darkness than in the light, and our senses thus excited, are for our +safety and protection, when moving about in the dark, either in-doors +or out, as we feel and know, that there is a chance of our being +seriously injured by running against or falling over something, or that +there might be evil spirits in the shape of robbers lurking about, +against whom it would be necessary to be ready to defend ourselves, or +to avoid. Our faculties being thus put on the "_qui vive_," is natural, +healthy, and proper; but when the mind has been imbued from childhood +with a belief in ghosts, and the individual should happen to be in a +dark and lonely place, and should hear or see indistinctly something +which the mind on the instant is not able to account for, _naturally_, +or _comprehend_ rationally, then under such circumstances, to use a +common expression, "we are not ourselves," and in giving way to +imaginary fears, under the impression of supernatural appearances, the +stoutest hearts and the strongest men, have been known "to quiver and +to quail," to be confused and to feel that thrilling sensation, that +cold trickling down the back from head to heel, which is produced from +fright, and nothing but the rallying of their mental and physical +forces, and rousing up a determined resolution, has enabled such men to +overcome this coward-like fear, and to discover that they have been +scared by some natural sound, or some imperfectly-seen natural object, +that it was all "a false alarm," or perhaps a made up ghost, by some +fool or rogue, or both, who was playing his "tricks upon travellers." + +But with weak and nervous persons, who believe in supernatural +appearances, the effects of fright, under such circumstances, produce +the most painful feelings, total prostration of the faculties, and +sometimes fatal consequences. Here is an instance where all the +faculties were prostrated by fright in consequence of seeing a supposed +apparition, followed by the death of an innocent person:-- + +In the year 1804, the inhabitants of Hammersmith, a village situated on +the west side of the metropolis, but now forming part of it, were much +terrified by the appearance of, as it was said, a spectre clothed in a +winding sheet. This apparition made its appearance in the dark evenings +in the churchyard, and in several avenues about the place. I well +remember "the Hammersmith ghost," as it was called, being the "Town +Talk" of that day, and not only in Hammersmith, but even in town, many +persons were afraid to leave their homes after dusk. Besides a man of +the name of John Graham, who was detected, and I believe imprisoned, +there were several actors in this ghostly farce, which was however +brought to an end in a tragical manner--that is, by a young man of the +name of Thomas Millwood, a plasterer, being shot dead by one Francis +Smith, an exciseman, who at the time (as the narrator states) was +rather "warm over his liquor"--that is about half drunk; and in this +state he was allowed at the "White Hart" public house to load a gun +with shot, and go out for the purpose of discovering the ghost, and he +no sooner saw a figure in a light dress (which was the poor plasterer +in his _working dress_, on his road to fetch his wife home, who had +been at work all day at a house in the neighbourhood of "Black Lion +Lane," where this murder was committed) than he lost the use of his +faculties, and was in such a state of fright that, as he said in his +defence, he "did not know what he was about," and unfortunately, under +these circumstances, killed an innocent man, which he never would have +done had he not been a believer in apparitions and ghosts. + +In p. 46, of the "Victoria Magazine," the writer, in speaking of an +interview which Mr. Home had with the spirit of the Count Cagliostro, +states that the said _spirit_ diffused and wafted over his friend Mr. +H. the most "delicious perfumes," and that they "appeared to have been +a part of the Count's personal resources;" and argues for various +reasons that these spirits are "sensitive to sweet smells," and that +the spirits are "adepts in perfumery," "are fond of it," and surround +themselves and their medium "with exquisite odours." And as Mr. Home is +such a great favourite with these "spirits," his "life sphere" and +"atmosphere" must be very highly scented and perfumed with smells, and +this accounts at once for the spirits playing "Home, _sweet_ Home" upon +the accordion, when he holds it under the table with one hand, and they +play upon it, I suppose, with "_their hands of atmosphere!_" Be this as +it may, however "sweet upon themselves" they may be, these spirits are +at this moment in _very_ "_bad_ odour" with a large body of the press, +as also with the large body of the public, and it therefore rests with +the "mediums" to bring these "spirits of darkness" into light, and that +these supposed spirits, their mediums, and their friends should _place_ +themselves in a right position before the public. "Come out in the +road" (as the low folk say when they are going to fight). By the by, +there surely must be (as they are all _spirited_ fellows) some +"prizefighters" amongst these "rapping" spirits, and if so, I would +suggest that mediums, as "backers" and "bottle-holders" (provided they +don't have any "spirits" in their bottle), should get up a "prizefight" +as a public exhibition, between such spirits as Jem Belcher and Tom +Crib, or any of those celebrated deceased popular heroes; and there +would be this advantage in such contests, that the "sporting world" +would have all their favourite sport, and be able to bet upon their +favourites in these "sham-fights" without the attendant horrible and +disgusting brutalities of the _real_ fights; for although they would, +of course, "rap" each other, their _fists_ being only made of +"_atmosphere_," they could not hurt or disfigure each other as they do +in the _earthly_ boxing. And if these aerial boxers did "knock the wind +out" of each other, it would be of no consequence, for as they would be +surrounded with lots of their own kind of "life sphere," or +"atmosphere," they could soon "make themselves _up_" again, if even +they did not "make it up" with each other. But I see some difficulties +in carrying out these "sports," which did not occur to me at first; for +instance, if they cannot make their own thick heads out of the +"atmosphere" of the heads about them, having no heads then, how can +they be "set by the ears?" Besides, they could not hear when "time" was +called, and then, again, the patrons of the "Prize ring" would not be +satisfied unless they could see these spirited ghosts "knock each +other's heads half off." + +If these spirits cannot "make head," and keep up with the intellectual +progress of the spirit of the times, and with the spirit of the world. +If they cannot be a "body politic," or a body of spirits, or any other +body, let the mediums set their _hands_ to work, "All _hands_, ahoy!" +Let them lend a hand to any "handiwork;" "hand-looms," or hand about +the tea and bread and butter at parties, or make themselves "handy" in +any way, even if they were made to use "hand-brooms." Yes; let them put +their hands to any honest calling rather than keep their hands in +idleness, for they should recollect what Dr. Watts asserts-- + + "That _Satan_ finds some mischief still + For _idle hands_ to do." + +And if these "spirit hands" are too flimsy and delicate to _work_--to +do hard work--then let them _play_ musical instruments, get up popular +concerts, and as they can make perfumes, or are themselves perfumers, +they could thus whilst playing gratify their audiences with sweet +sounds and sweet scents at the same time. + +However absurd this asserted _fact_ of tables being moved by spirits +may appear, and to many persons appearing not worth a "second thought," +yet it is natural that we should endeavour to account for such a +movement in a natural way, one cause assigned is natural heat, the +other involuntary muscular action, etc., etc. In this state of +uncertainty a little "_guess_ work" about the table movement, may +perhaps be excused, even if it be as absurd as "table lifting" itself. +We know that the common air, dry or moist, affects all earthly +materials, and that + + The water and the air, + Are everywhere, + Changing, the flower and the stone, + The flesh and the bone. + +And we also know that wood, being a very _porous_ material, is +powerfully affected by the "broad and general casing air," that it +expands or contracts according to the condition of the atmosphere, and +thus we find when there is any considerable change in the temperature, +that all the book-cases, wardrobes, chests of drawers, clothes presses, +tables, or "what-nots," in different parts of the house, will indicate +this change by a _creaking_, cracking noise. I have in my studio an +oaken cabinet, which acts under the influence of the change of air, +like a talking thermometer, and with which I sometimes hold a sort of a +"_cabinet_ council" upon the subject of the change of weather. When +seated in my room, with doors, and windows, and shutters shut, if it +has been dry weather for any length of time, and my cabinet begins +creaking, I know by this sound from the wood, that the warm moist air, +which has been wafted with the warm gulf stream from the West Indies, +is diffusing itself around the room, and producing an effect upon me +and my furniture, even to the fire-irons and fender, and so, on the +contrary, after wet or moist weather, if the creaking is heard again, I +know pretty well "which way the wind blows," and that it is a dry wind, +without looking out at the weather vane. If it merely goes _creak, +creak, crack_, and stops there, the change will not be great, but when +it goes _cre-ak, cre-ak, creak, crack, crack, crack--rumble, rumble, +rumble, creak, crack_! then do I know, and find, that the _change_ will +be _considerable_, and can _spell_ out, change--rain--rain--rain, much +rain. + +Many persons who have given any thought to this question, are of +opinion that electric currents passing from the human body is the cause +of this "table-moving," and I introduce my "weather wise" cabinet to +the public here to show, that if a _little damp air_, or a _little dry +air_ will _move_, and _make_ a _large heavy cabinet_ talk in this way, +how much more likely it is that a _table_ should be moved, and +particularly if these "electric currents" fly "like lightning" through +the passages or spiracles of this popular, but at present mysterious +piece of furniture. + +No wonder then if the "life sphere" and "the atmosphere" of the +"light-headed," "light-heeled," who "_permeate their wills_" into this +otherwise inanimate object, should all of a sudden "set the table in a +roar," and "rap out their rappartees," and that "the _head_ of the +table" should bob up and down, so as to make the people stare, either +standing around or stuck in a chair, and that the legs all so clumsy, +should caper and dance and kick up in the air, to the tune of "Well did +_you_ ever!" and "Well _I_ declare!" _!!!_ + +This cabinet of mine is filled with the spirited works of departed +spirits, including some of my dear father's humorous works, also of the +great Hogarth, the great Gilray, and other masters, ancient and modern; +the mediums would, I suppose, say-- + + That when this cabinet begins a "crack"[8] or creaking, + It is these sprites of art, who thus to me are speaking. + + [8] Scotch for talking. + +And as one of the panels was _split_ some years back, the mediums would +perhaps suggest that these "_droll_ spirits" made the cabinet "_split_ +its sides with laughter," but _I_ know it was the _hot air_ of a hot +summer, and certainly not done by a drum or a drummer--that this +"splitting" or "flying," only shows the _force_ of the _common air_, +and I hope adds to the force of my argument in this respect, and +further, of this I feel assured, that if I were to "clear the decks for +action," bring this cabinet out into the middle of my studio, and could +induce some of the lady and gentlemen "mediums" to come and form a +"circle," and clap their hands on and around this piece of furniture, +that, although Monsieur Cabinet has no "light fantastic toe," that he +would nevertheless join in the merry dance, and cut some curious capers +on his castors, and even "beat time" perhaps with his curious creaks +and cracks. By the by, glass being a non-conductor, a table made of +_glass_, would at once settle this question, as to whether the tables +are moved by electric currents or not. + +I am now about to suggest what I feel assured every one will admit to +be a GRAND IDEA, and which would be to make these spirits useful in a +way that would be highly appreciated and patronized by the public, and +put all the "fortune-tellers" and "rulers of the stars" out of the +field altogether, and perhaps even damage the "electric wires" a +little. It is to establish a company, to be entitled, "THE HUMAN +QUESTION AND SPIRIT ANSWER COMPANY!" The principal "_capital_" to work +upon, would be the overpowering principle of curiosity; in this case, +instead of having a "_chair_-man," they would, I suppose, have a +_table_-man; if so, then Homo would be the _man_, and of this company +it never could be said, that they had _not_ a _rap_ at their bankers. + +"Limited," of course, but the _business_ would be UN-_limited_, with +profits, corresponding; branch question and answer offices, branching +out all over the globe, with "letter-boxes" and "chatter-boxes". If the +business of such offices were worked and carried out in a "_proper +spirit_," it would assuredly be "a success." I am supposing, of course, +that these spirits will be able to "tell us something we don't know," +for up to the present time it does not appear that they have told +anything to us that we could not have told them, and in a more common +sense and grammatical style than most of the communications which they +have "rapped out," but if there are any _real_, great, and good spirits +amongst these gammocking table-turners, they must, one would suppose, +know all about everything and everybody, and everybody would be asking +questions, and if so, "Oh, my!" what a lot of funny questions there +would be! and what a lot of funny answers! (_all_ "_private_ and +_confidential_," of _course_) as nobody would be sure not to tell +nobody any secrets that nobody wanted anybody to know. + +Under ordinary circumstances I am not at all what might be called a +_curious_ person, but although I should (like other people) like to +know how certain matters might turn out, and although I should never +think of asking a "fortune-teller" or of consulting the gentry who +profess to "rule the stars," yet if such a company as this were +started, I feel that I should be compelled to start off to the first +office I could get to, for the purpose of putting two or three +questions, to which I want immediate answers if it were possible, and +should not mind paying something extra for _favourable_ answers. I will +here just give a specimen of some of these questions. + +Some literary gentleman and others belonging to the "Urban Club," and +also some members of the "Dramatic Authors'" Society, have formed +themselves in a committee (upon which they have done me the honour to +place my name), for the purpose of setting on foot and assisting to +raise a fund, if possible, to erect a monument in honour of William +Shakspeare, as the 23rd of April, 1864, will be the ter-centenary of +that poet's birthday. Another committee for the same purpose is also in +formation, and the two committees will either amalgamate or work +together. I have suggested to the first committee that in order to +assist the funds for the above-mentioned purpose, that a notice be sent +out to the public to this effect--that all persons having any works of +art, either paintings, drawings, or sculpture, should be invited and +respectfully requested to lend such works to a committee of artists, to +form a gallery or national collection illustrating this author's works, +to be called "The Shakspeare Exhibition," and in which designs for the +said monument could also be exhibited. The question, therefore, I would +put to the _spirits_ through the proper _medium_ would be this, +viz.--If such invitations were sent out, would the holders of such +works lend them for the purpose of thus being placed before the public? +And further--If the Government were applied to, would they "lend the +loan" of a proper and fitting building to exhibit the various works in? +And a little further, and "though last not least," would the nobility +and gentry, and the public at large, patronize such an exhibition +_largely_, and what the receipts would amount to? I should like to have +all this answered, and that at an early day. But as it may be a _long +day_, before such a company could get into working order, and as the +members of the public press are a good-natured, shrewd class of +spirits--if the idea is worth anything, they would most likely take it +up, and I should be as much pleased to get an answer through that +_medium_ as any other that I know of. + +There are several other questions which I should put to this "_Spirit_ +Answer Company" if it were started, and which I feel that I could not +well put to any one else, as I do not think that _any body_ would give +themselves the trouble to give me an answer; and it is not _every body_ +who _could_ give me satisfactory answers, however much they might feel +disposed to do so. I enumerate two or three. + +Firstly--After a dreadful railway accident which occurred the other +day, Lord Brougham in the House of Lords suggested, I believe, that an +act of Parliament should be passed compelling the _public_ to travel at +a rational speed; and as civil engineers declare that if the _public_ +would be content to do so, that it would decrease the risk of life to +about 999 per cent., I want to know if the _public_ are ever likely to +adopt the moderate speed, or sort of safe and sure, mode of travelling +by rail, instead of _flying_ along at such a risk of life and limb as +they do now, occasionally coming to a _dreadful smash_, with an awful +unnecessary sacrifice of life, picking up the bodies or the pieces +thereof, crying out "All right, go a-head," and dashing off at the same +irrational speed with the probability of the like accidents again? + +Secondly--If it is at all likely that "lovely woman" will ever leave +off wearing dresses which constantly expose her to the risk of being +burnt to death? + +Upon looking, however, at some of the other questions, they appear so +frivolous and ridiculous, that I do not think I would put them even to +these spirits. For instance, one was, that supposing I took a part in +one of Shakspeare's plays, for the purpose of assisting this proposed +Shakspearian fund, and for some other purposes, if, as I can draw a +little, should I, under such circumstances, _draw_ a full house? + +There is a common saying amongst schoolboys, that "IF all _ifs_ were +_hads_, and all _hads_ were _Shads_, we never should be in want of fish +for supper." Now the _if_, in this _spirit_ question, is an important +_if_, for IF _all be true_, that is asserted by the "mediums" of the +marvels which they publish, then are those marvels some of the most +marvellous and astounding wonders that have ever been known or heard of +in the _authentic_ history of the world. And from the extent to which +this belief has spread, and is still spreading, and also from the +injurious effects it has already produced, and is likely still further +to produce, on the mental and physical condition of a large number of +the people, it now becomes rather, indeed, I may say, a, _very_ serious +question. Some of the effects produced by attending the _soirees_ of +these "good, bad, and indifferent" spirits, will be seen from the +reasons stated by a staunch supporter of these supernatural pastimes +for giving up--in fact, being COMPELLED to give up--_seances_, +"because, in the first place (he states), it was _too exhausting_ to +the vital fluids of the medium." (They took too long a pull, or +swallowed too much of his "_atmosphere_.") And also "because the +necessity of keeping the mind elevated to a higher state of +contemplation, while we were repeating the alphabet and receiving +messages letter by letter, was too great a strain upon our faculties; +and because the undeveloped and earth-bound spirits throng about the +mediums, and struggle to enter into parley with them, apparently with +the purpose of getting possession of their natures, or exchanging +natures; and I have heard of sittings terminating from this cause in +cases of PARALYSIS or DEMONIACAL POSSESSION." + +In such a state, no doubt the poor creatures imagine that they see +apparitions. I had an old friend who was affected with paralysis of the +brain, but not from this cause, as he was a total and _decided +disbeliever_ in apparitions; but from the diseased condition of his +brain he had the _appearance_ of a person or ghost constantly by his +side for a considerable time, at which he used to laugh, and which I +wanted him to introduce to me; but to me it was always invisible. One +day at dinner he stood up, and said to those present, "Don't you see +I'm going?" and fell down--dead! + +Although there is much to laugh at with respect to these modern +spirits, although some of the scenes at the _seances_ are perfectly +ridiculous--and would have afforded capital subjects for the powerful +pen of my dear deceased friend, "Thomas Ingoldsby"--the "raps" rapped +out sometimes are positive nonsense and sometimes positive falsehood; +and "evil communications," which all who have been to school know, +"corrupt good manners," yet, on the other hand, there are serious +symptoms sometimes attended with serious consequences. + +The mediums tell us that these spiritual manifestations are permitted +by the "OMNIPOTENT;" that JESUS CHRIST sanctions some of these +spiritual communications, and are indeed given us as if proceeding from +Himself; and yet we find that some persons who attend these "_seances_" +have their nervous system so shaken as to distort their limbs, in fact, +lose the use of their limbs altogether, or are "driven raving mad!" + +In "The Light in the Valley," a work which I consider ought to be +entitled "_Darkness_ in the Valley," but which I must do the author the +justice to say is written and edited in what is evidently intended as a +profound, proper, and religions spirit, and with a good intent; but +however sincere and honest those pious feelings may be, they are +nevertheless _distorted_ religious opinions, containing symbolical +ideas as dark as any symbolical emanations ever given forth in the +darkest ages. + +In this work specimens are given of "_spirit writing_" and "_spirit +drawing_." The "spirit writing" consists of unmeaning, unintelligible +scribbling scrawls, and very rarely containing any letters or words. +These productions are ascribed to a "spirit _hand_" seizing and guiding +the medium's _hand_, but which is nothing more than involuntary action +of the muscles under an excited and unnatural state of the nervous +system; and the spirit drawings are executed under similar conditions. +The drawings profess to be designed and conjointly executed in this +way, by _holy_ spirits or _angels_, and are given as _sacred_ guidances +to man. These are the medium's opinions and belief; but, unfortunately, +too many of these sort of drawings may be seen in certain asylums. But +if I know anything of religion, which I have been looking at carefully +and critically for half a century; also if I know anything of designing +and drawing, in which profession I have been working in my humble way +for more than that time, I pronounce these spirit drawings (in the +language of art) to be "out of drawing," and contrary to all healthy +emanations of thought as design and composition; and instead of +representing subjects or figures which would convey a proper and great +idea of Divine attributes, are, in fact, caricatures of such sacred +subjects. + +I shall here give a few extracts from the communication of these false +spirits, and spiritual explanations of these spirit scrawls and +scratches; but some which I had intended to insert, upon reflection, I +refrain from giving, believing that they would not only be offensive to +sensible religious persons, but injurious to youthful minds. Some of +the illustrations given in this book are furnished by a "drawing +medium," under the titles of "Christ without Hands," "the Bearded +Christ," "Christ among the Sphere," "the Woman Crucified," etc., etc. +In the first of these something like a figure is scribbled in, and +surrounded with scratches, called spirit writing; the "Bearded Christ" +is merely a bust, very badly drawn, and produced in the same unnatural +way, and surrounded by the same sort of scribbling. The _shape_ of the +beard and the _atmosphere_ of the beard are, it appears, most important +matters; and the author, in speaking of this, says, in describing Him, +"In 'the Bearded Christ' the atmosphere of the beard, as well as the +beard itself, is represented; and I am acquainted with a '_seeing_ +medium,' who has seen the beard-atmosphere, not only when the beard is +worn, but about the shaven chin, with sufficient precision to decide of +what shape the beard would be were it allowed to grow"!!! !!! !!! !!! +!!! + +The subject professing to represent "Christ among the Spheres" is a +better and more finished drawing; but, according to all the laws and +rules of proportion, the figure of Christ, by the side of our globe, +would be 30,000 miles in height, and a lily which he holds in his hand +15,000 miles long! All these gross absurdities show, that the _real_ +spirit has nothing whatever to do with such absurd doctrines or +productions. This "drawing medium" gives an account of the trials and +sufferings, bodily and mental, which she went through before she became +an accomplished and complete medium; and, according to her own +statement, she must have gone through a most fearful and horrible +schooling. In one part it is stated she went through "_several months +of most painful bewilderment and extreme distress of mind_;" and in +another part she says that the intensest antagonism between TRUTH and +FALSEHOOD, between LIGHT and DARKNESS, encounters the astounded and +unprepared pilgrim upon his first entrance into the realm of spirit. "I +felt frequently as if enveloped in an atmosphere which sent through my +whole frame warm streams of electricity in waving spirals from the +crown of my head to the soles of my feet; and occasionally, generally +at midnight, I was seized with twitchings and convulsive movements of +my whole body, which were distressing beyond words. All these symptoms +at length came to a crisis in a FRIGHTFUL TRANCE." And this _drawing +medium_ signs herself "COMFORT!" and further states that-- + +"Waking in the night, the _strange_ drawing process instantly +commenced, and I felt and saw within me the figure of an angel, whose +countenance resembled that of Christ, descending from a morning sky +towards me, and bearing upon his shoulders a large cross, whilst from +his lips proceeded these words--'Love, mercy, peace, but not till after +death.' Again my soul _trembled with anguish_, for that strange +portentous word, '_death_,' was ever written within me or without. This +peculiar stage of development soon produced a singular affection of my +throat, an affection of the mucous membrane, which caused several times +a day, and especially when rising in the morning, the _most distressing +sensations_. After suffering thus for several days, the mysterious +writing informed me that I must take a _certain quantity of port wine_ +every day, and then the sensation would leave me." And she adds, "I +followed the spiritual direction, and found almost immediate relief." + +The spirit doctor, in fact, after the dreadful suffering the scholar +had gone through, prescribed a "drop of comfort," a drop of the spirit +of Alcohol, which spirit is very much like these rapping spirits, +_deceitful_ and _dangerous_, and this, we may presume, is the reason +why the medicine adopted the name of "comfort." Well, some people will +say that some little _comfort_ was needed after so much _dis_comfort +and suffering--but _why_, all this suffering? Cannot these spirit +drawing-masters instruct their pupils in this poor, wretched, miserable +style of drawing, without all this misery and punishment? If not, I +should think that very few ladies or gentlemen would like to take +lessons in drawing, or, indeed, in any other art, under such painful +circumstances. A _spirit_ drawing-master's card would, I presume, be +something like the following:-- + +[Illustration: TOM PAIN, + +Drawing Master. + + MEDIUM SPIRIT DRAWING TAUGHT, UNDER EXTREME TORTURE, + IN TWENTY-FOUR LESSONS, AT SO MUCH ILL-HEALTH + AND SUFFERING PER LESSON. + +_N.B.--Private Residence_, UNDER _the Table_. + + * * All the Drawing and Writing _Materials_ to be provided by + * the Pupils. The lashing supplied by the Spirit, and the Medical + Advice Gratis; but the Pupils to find the "drop of _spirit_ + comfort" themselves.] + +In taking one more extract from "Comfort," I hope that I am not giving +any discomfort to that "medium," who, from my _in_most heart I hope and +trust, is now enjoying that rational and natural comfort which all +well-wishers to their fellow-creatures wish strangers to feel, as well +as their friends. The medium proceeds to say:--"Ignorance of their real +nature and of their alternate purposes in the progress of civilization +and development of mind, has already caused _immense misery_ in many +directions, and will cause more and more, even infinitely worse, until +the time arrives that the medical world will follow the example of Dr. +Garth Wilkinson in his valuable pamphlet on the treatment of _lunacy_ +through _spiritualism_, and calmly regard this growing development not +as insanity, but as a _key whereby to unlock insanity_"!!! + +I have not the slightest notion of what this pamphlet contains, but +from the above very _un_comfortable opinion expressed by "Comfort" upon +this matter, it seems to me that a sufficient "_key_" is here given to +unlock, if not all, at all events, the greater part of the mysteries of +this _spirit drawing_ and _spirit writing_, and, indeed, the whole of +this spirit movement. + +I would here call the attention of the medical world to the way in +which the spirits are acting towards that body. I presume that they are +the spirits of deceased members of the profession; and if so they are +acting in a most unbrotherly, underhanded manner, in fact, undermining +the profession altogether by "rapping" out prescriptions from _under +the table_, for which they do not take a "rap" as a fee. Yes, "advice +gratis" for nothing. I entreat medical men not to smile at my remarks, +for they may be assured that there is a dark conspiracy--I cannot say +"afoot," because spirits have no feet--but I may say in hand; and as +matters stand at present, it looks as if "THE D. _without_ the M., and +DR. FAUSTUS" had entered into a partnership to destroy all medical +doctors by introducing a system which they could not only not practise, +but, as far as I am able to judge, could never understand, and which, +though it is given in the "_Light_ in the Valley," "_read_" they may, +and "_mark_" they may, "_learn_" they cannot, and "inwardly DIGEST" +they never will. + +In the concluding pages of the "Light in the Valley," a letter is +introduced, which is evidently written by a highly-educated person, in +support of "an occult law," and from all that is stated in this letter +the writer might as well have said at once, I believe in witchcraft, or +that craft which enables an ignorant old woman, who is called a +"witch," to make contracts with the Evil One, for the purpose of +torturing, or making miserable for life, or destroying unto death, her +neighbours, their children, or their cattle; and that an ignorant old +man, under the name of a "wizard," may do the same; also, in astrology, +or "ruling the stars," to predict coming events, or the future fate of +individuals born at particular periods of the year, according to the +position of the stars at that time; or in "fortune-telling," performed +either by "crossing the hand" with a piece of money, got out of some +simpleton's pocket for that purpose, but which never gets back there +again; or by bits of paper, called "cards;" to which also may be added, +as a matter of course, I believe in ghosts, hobgoblins, and in +everything of a supernatural character. + +We can readily understand why the ignorant and uneducated believe in +all these matters; the cause is traced and known; but it seems almost +impossible to believe that educated persons, even with a small amount +of reflection, can put their faith in such superstitious delusions; and +if the question is put to such persons, as "show us any good" resulting +in the existence of an "occult law," we may safely defy any one to show +_one instance, where any good has ever resulted from such a belief_ in +what they term the deep "arcana of Nature's book," or rather unnatural +nonsense. Whereas, on the other hand, the amount of evil arising from +this source has been fearfully great, and the murders many; dragging +poor old creatures through ponds, and hanging them, and even torturing +them to death in a way too disgusting to describe. Our own records are, +unfortunately, too massive of such ignorant and savage atrocities; but +not only were such deeds enacted in this (at that time) so misnamed +Christian land, but also in other countries denominated Christian; but +which title their brutal acts gave them, like ourselves, no right to +assume; not only in Europe, but also in America. In that country, about +the year 1642, many poor old women were persecuted to death. One woman +was hung at Salem for bewitching four children, and the eldest daughter +afterwards confessed to the tricks that she and her sisters had played +in pretending to be "bewitched." + +But in our own time we find that this belief in the power of +foretelling events leads to much mischief and misery, and from certain +facts we may be assured that there is a larger amount of evil from this +cause than is made known to the public. The "occult law" leads to many +breaches of the law of the land, and to serious crime; it opens the +door to gross imposture, swindling, and robbery, misleading the minds +of simple people, and turning their conduct and ways from their proper +and natural course, and the strange _unaccountable_ conduct of some +persons might be easily accounted for, when traced to this +"fortune-telling" foolery. The happiness of one family was destroyed +only the other day by a deaf and dumb "ruler of the stars," who is now +in penal servitude, and who would have been executed had the offence +been committed some years back. Several such "rulers of the stars," or +"fortune-tellers," have been hung for similar crimes, in my time, one I +remember was a black man, hung at the Old Bailey. + +The _clothes test_ cannot be brought to bear upon the predicting of +events, but there is a _test_, which may be brought with equal force +upon this question, which is, that although these prophets profess to +tell what is going to happen to others, THEY CANNOT FORETELL WHAT IS +GOING TO HAPPEN TO THEMSELVES, for if they could, they would have, of +course, avoided the punishments which the law has, and is constantly +inflicting upon them for their offences. And Mr. "Zadkiel," for +instance, would not have brought his action against Admiral Sir Edward +Belcher, if he could have _foreseen_ the result; after which, no doubt, +he cried out, "Oh! my stars!--if I had known as much as I know now, I +never would have gone into court!" + +A "Bow Street officer" (as a branch of the old police were styled) told +me that he had a warrant to take up a female fortune-teller, who was +plucking the geese to a large amount. Her principal dupes were females, +and he being a _gander_ had some difficulty in managing to get an +introduction (for this tribe of swindlers use as much caution as they +can). He however succeeded in getting the _wise_ woman to tell him his +fortune, for which he professed himself much obliged, and told her that +as he had a little faculty in that way himself, he would in return, +tell her, her fortune, which was, that she was that morning going +before the magistrate at Bow Street, who had some power in this way +also, and he would likewise tell her her fortune. She smiled at first +and would not believe in what he said, but he showed her the warrant, +and all came true that he had told her; but nothing came _true_ of what +she had told him. + +From the high and pure character of many persons well known to me, who +are mixed up in these _seances_, it is _almost_ impossible not to +believe their statements of these wonders, the truth of which wonders +they so _positively_ assert. _If_ true, they are _indeed_ wonderful; +but _if tricks_, then do they surpass all other tricks, ever performed +by all the "sleight of hand" gentry put together, who ever bamboozled +poor credulous, simple creatures, or astonished and puzzled a delighted +audience. There can be but _two sides_ to a question, _true_ or +_false_; and, as already hinted, it remains for the mediums to prove +their case, and to place the matter in a better light than it stands at +present, which is indeed a very dim and uncertain sort of "night +light;" but as, up to this time, their assertions are at variance with +what has hitherto been considered as sound sense and understanding, +those outside the "circle" have not only a right, to be cautious of +stepping into such a circle, but, until some more reasonable reasons +are given--even putting aside the _cui bono_ for the present--unless +some rational natural cause can be assigned, they have a right to +suspect the whole, either as a _Delusion_ or a _Disease_. + +But even if this party _prove_, that these "thing-em bobs" are _real_ +spirits, they appear to be so dreadful and dangerous, and there really +is such a "_strong_ family likeness" between some of them, and a +certain "_Old Gentleman_," that I would say "the less they have to do +with them the better;" but even supposing they are not "so black as +they are painted" (by their mediums), if even they are a sort of +"half-and-half," nevertheless, I would say-- + + "Rest, rest, perturbed spirits rest;" + For if not for you, for us 'twill be the best. + +There _may_ be, as already observed, more things _between_ heaven and +earth than were dreamt of in the philosophy of Horatio; but let the +"inquiring spirit" _rest_ assured that amongst these "things" there +could not be included the _Ghost_ of IRON ARMOUR; and though 'tis said +"there's nothing like leather," yet none of these said "things" could +have been the LEATHER of "TOP-BOOTS"--no, not even the LEATHER of the +"TOPS" nor the LEATHER of the "SOLES" thereof. + +In concluding, I will just add to this Addenda, that,-- + + Although I _have_ seen, (in the "mirage," in the sky) + A ship "upside down," the great hull and big sails, + No one, has ever yet seen, such things, as the _Ghosts_, + Of HATS or WIGS, or of short, or long PIG-TAILS. + +And this is the "long and the short" of my + + DISCOVERY CONCERNING GHOSTS, + with + A RAP AT THE RAPPERS. + + +THE END. + + +HABBILD, PRINTER, LONDON. + + + + +TO BE PUBLISHED BEFORE CHRISTMAS. + + +PUSS IN BOOTS, + +TO FORM No. 4 OF + +GEORGE CRUIKSHANKS FAIRY LIBRARY. + +The other Numbers already Published being + + + HOP O MY THUMB, + + JACK AND THE BEAN-STALK, + + AND + + CINDERELLA. + + + ALSO, PREPARING FOR PUBLICATION, + + THE ADVENTURES OF MR. LAMBKIN; + + OR, THE BACHELOR'S OWN BOOK. + + + NOW ON SALE, + + THE SHILLING EDITION OF + + THE BOTTLE. + + * * * * * + + THE LOVING BALLAD OF LORD BATEMAN. + COMIC ALPHABET. + ILLUSTRATIONS OF SIR WALTER SCOTT'S DEMONOLOGY AND WITCHCRAFT. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Second Edition of A Discovery +Concerning Ghosts, by George Cruikshank + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DISCOVERY CONCERNING GHOSTS *** + +***** This file should be named 36512.txt or 36512.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/6/5/1/36512/ + +Produced by Robert Cicconetti and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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