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+Project Gutenberg's O'Conors of Castle Conor, by Anthony Trollope
+#14 in our series by Anthony Trollope
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+Title: The O'Conors of Castle Conor from Tales from all Countries
+
+Author: Anthony Trollope
+
+Release Date: January, 2003 [Etext #3616]
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+Project Gutenberg's O'Conors of Castle Conor, by Anthony Trollope
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+
+THE O'CONORS OF CASTLE CONOR, COUNTY MAYO.
+FROM "TALES FROM ALL COUNTRIES"
+
+by Anthony Trollope
+
+
+
+
+I shall never forget my first introduction to country life in
+Ireland, my first day's hunting there, or the manner in which I
+passed the evening afterwards. Nor shall I ever cease to be grateful
+for the hospitality which I received from the O'Conors of Castle
+Conor. My acquaintance with the family was first made in the
+following manner. But before I begin my story, let me inform my
+reader that my name is Archibald Green.
+
+I had been for a fortnight in Dublin, and was about to proceed into
+county Mayo on business which would occupy me there for some weeks.
+My head-quarters would, I found, be at the town of Ballyglass; and I
+soon learned that Ballyglass was not a place in which I should find
+hotel accommodation of a luxurious kind, or much congenial society
+indigenous to the place itself.
+
+"But you are a hunting man, you say," said old Sir P- C-; "and in
+that case you will soon know Tom O'Conor. Tom won't let you be dull.
+I'd write you a letter to Tom, only he'll certainly make you out
+without my taking the trouble."
+
+I did think at the time that the old baronet might have written the
+letter for me, as he had been a friend of my father's in former days;
+but he did not, and I started for Ballyglass with no other
+introduction to any one in the county than that contained in Sir P-'s
+promise that I should soon know Mr. Thomas O'Conor.
+
+I had already provided myself with a horse, groom, saddle and bridle,
+and these I sent down, en avant, that the Ballyglassians might know
+that I was somebody. Perhaps, before I arrived Tom O'Conor might
+learn that a hunting man was coming into the neighbourhood, and I
+might find at the inn a polite note intimating that a bed was at my
+service at Castle Conor. I had heard so much of the free hospitality
+of the Irish gentry as to imagine that such a thing might be
+possible.
+
+But I found nothing of the kind. Hunting gentlemen in those days
+were very common in county Mayo, and one horse was no great evidence
+of a man's standing in the world. Men there as I learnt afterwards,
+are sought for themselves quite as much as they are elsewhere; and
+though my groom's top-boots were neat, and my horse a very tidy
+animal, my entry into Ballyglass created no sensation whatever.
+
+In about four days after my arrival, when I was already infinitely
+disgusted with the little Pot-house in which I was forced to stay,
+and had made up my mind that the people in county Mayo were a
+churlish set, I sent my horse on to a meet of the fox-hounds, and
+followed after myself on an open car.
+
+No one but an erratic fox-hunter such as I am,--a fox-hunter, I mean,
+whose lot it has been to wander about from one pack of hounds to
+another,--can understand the melancholy feeling which a man has when
+he first intrudes himself, unknown by any one, among an entirely new
+set of sportsmen. When a stranger falls thus as it were out of the
+moon into a hunt, it is impossible that men should not stare at him
+and ask who he is. And it is so disagreeable to be stared at, and to
+have such questions asked! This feeling does not come upon a man in
+Leicestershire or Gloucestershire where the numbers are large, and a
+stranger or two will always be overlooked, but in small hunting
+fields it is so painful that a man has to pluck up much courage
+before he encounters it.
+
+We met on the morning in question at Bingham's Grove. There were not
+above twelve or fifteen men out, all of whom, or nearly all were
+cousins to each other. They seemed to be all Toms, and Pats, and
+Larrys, and Micks. I was done up very knowingly in pink, and thought
+that I looked quite the thing, but for two or three hours nobody
+noticed me.
+
+I had my eyes about me, however, and soon found out which of them was
+Tom O'Conor. He was a fine-looking fellow, thin and tall, but not
+largely made, with a piercing gray eye, and a beautiful voice for
+speaking to a hound. He had two sons there also, short, slight
+fellows, but exquisite horsemen. I already felt that I had a kind of
+acquaintance with the father, but I hardly knew on what ground to put
+in my claim.
+
+We had no sport early in the morning. It was a cold bleak February
+day, with occasional storms of sleet. We rode from cover to cover,
+but all in vain. "I am sorry, sir, that we are to have such a bad
+day, as you are a stranger here," said one gentleman to me. This was
+Jack O'Conor, Tom's eldest son, my bosom friend for many a year
+after. Poor Jack! I fear that the Encumbered Estates Court sent him
+altogether adrift upon the world.
+
+"We may still have a run from Poulnaroe, if the gentleman chooses to
+come on," said a voice coming from behind with a sharp trot. It was
+Tom O'Conor.
+
+"Wherever the hounds go, I'll follow," said I.
+
+"Then come on to Poulnaroe," said Mr. O'Conor. I trotted on quickly
+by his side, and before we reached the cover had managed to slip in
+something about Sir P. C.
+
+"What the deuce!" said he. "What! a friend of Sir P-'s? Why the
+deuce didn't you tell me so? What are you doing down here? Where
+are you staying?" &c. &c. &c.
+
+At Poulnaroe we found a fox, but before we did so Mr. O' Conor had
+asked me over to Castle Conor. And this he did in such a way that
+there was no possibility of refusing him--or, I should rather say, of
+disobeying him. For his invitation came quite in the tone of a
+command.
+
+"You'll come to us of course when the day is over--and let me see;
+we're near Ballyglass now, but the run will be right away in our
+direction. Just send word for them to send your things to Castle
+Conor."
+
+"But they're all about, and unpacked," said I.
+
+"Never mind. Write a note and say what you want now, and go and get
+the rest to-morrow yourself. Here, Patsey!--Patsey! run into
+Ballyglass for this gentleman at once. Now don't be long, for the
+chances are we shall find here." And then, after giving some further
+hurried instructions he left me to write a line in pencil to the
+innkeeper's wife on the back of a ditch.
+
+This I accordingly did. "Send my small portmanteau," I said, "and
+all my black dress clothes, and shirts, and socks, and all that, and
+above all my dressing things which are on the little table, and the
+satin neck-handkerchief, and whatever you do, mind you send my
+PUMPS;" and I underscored the latter word; for Jack O'Conor, when his
+father left me, went on pressing the invitation. "My sisters are
+going to get up a dance," said he; "and if you are fond of that kind
+of things perhaps we can amuse you." Now in those days I was very
+fond of dancing--and very fond of young ladies too, and therefore
+glad enough to learn that Tom O'Conor had daughters as well as sons.
+On this account I was very particular in underscoring the word pumps.
+
+"And hurry, you young divil," Jack O'Conor said to Patsey.
+
+"I have told him to take the portmanteau over on a car," said I.
+
+"All right; then you'll find it there on our arrival."
+
+We had an excellent run, in which I may make bold to say that I did
+not acquit myself badly. I stuck very close to the hounds, as did
+the whole of the O'Conor brood; and when the fellow contrived to
+earth himself, as he did, I received those compliments on my horse,
+which is the most approved praise which one fox-hunter ever gives to
+another.
+
+"We'll buy that fellow of you before we let you go," said Peter, the
+youngest son.
+
+"I advise you to look sharp after your money if you sell him to my
+brother," said Jack.
+
+And then we trotted slowly off to Castle Conor, which, however, was
+by no means near to us. "We have ten miles to go;--good Irish
+miles," said the father. "I don't know that I ever remember a fox
+from Poulnaroe taking that line before."
+
+"He wasn't a Poulnaroe fox," said Peter.
+
+"I don't know that;" said Jack; and then they debated that question
+hotly.
+
+Our horses were very tired, and it was late before we reached Mr.
+O'Conor's house. That getting home from hunting with a thoroughly
+weary animal, who has no longer sympathy or example to carry him on,
+is very tedious work. In the present instance I had company with me;
+but when a man is alone, when his horse toes at every ten steps, when
+the night is dark and the rain pouring, and there are yet eight miles
+of road to be conquered,--at such time a man is almost apt to swear
+that he will give up hunting.
+
+At last we were in the Castle Conor stable yard;--for we had
+approached the house by some back way; and as we entered the house by
+a door leading through a wilderness of back passages, Mr. O'Conor
+said out loud, "Now, boys, remember I sit down to dinner in twenty
+minutes." And then turning expressly to me, he laid his hand kindly
+upon my shoulder and said, "I hope you will make yourself quite at
+home at Castle Conor, and whatever you do, don't keep us waiting for
+dinner. You can dress in twenty minutes, I suppose?"
+
+"In ten!" said I, glibly.
+
+"That's well. Jack and Peter will show you your room," and so he
+turned away and left us.
+
+My two young friends made their way into the great hall, and thence
+into the drawing-room, and I followed them. We were all dressed in
+pink, and had waded deep through bog and mud. I did not exactly know
+whither I was being led in this guise, but I soon found myself in the
+presence of two young ladies, and of a girl about thirteen years of
+age.
+
+"My sisters," said Jack, introducing me very laconically; "Miss
+O'Conor, Miss Kate O'Conor, Miss Tizzy O'Conor."
+
+"My name is not Tizzy," said the younger; "it's Eliza. How do you
+do, sir? I hope you had a fine hunt! Was papa well up, Jack?"
+
+Jack did not condescend to answer this question, but asked one of the
+elder girls whether anything had come, and whether a room had been
+made ready for me.
+
+"Oh yes!" said Miss O'Conor; "they came, I know, for I saw them
+brought into the house; and I hope Mr. Green will find everything
+comfortable." As she said this I thought I saw a slight smile steal
+across her remarkably pretty mouth.
+
+They were both exceedingly pretty girls. Fanny the elder wore long
+glossy curls,--for I write, oh reader, of bygone days, as long ago as
+that, when ladies wore curls if it pleased them so to do, and
+gentlemen danced in pumps, with black handkerchiefs round their
+necks,--yes, long black, or nearly black silken curls; and then she
+had such eyes;--I never knew whether they were most wicked or most
+bright; and her face was all dimples, and each dimple was laden with
+laughter and laden with love. Kate was probably the prettier girl of
+the two, but on the whole not so attractive. She was fairer than her
+sister, and wore her hair in braids; and was also somewhat more
+demure in her manner.
+
+In spite of the special injunctions of Mr. O'Conor senior, it was
+impossible not to loiter for five minutes over the drawing-room fire
+talking to these houris--more especially as I seemed to know them
+intimately by intuition before half of the five minutes was over.
+They were so easy, so pretty, so graceful, so kind, they seemed to
+take it so much as a matter of course that I should stand there
+talking in my red coat and muddy boots.
+
+"Well; do go and dress yourselves," at last said Fanny, pretending to
+speak to her brothers but looking more especially a me. "You know
+how mad papa will be. And remember Mr. Green, we expect great things
+from your dancing to-night. Your coming just at this time is such a
+Godsend." And again that soupcon of a smile passed over her face.
+
+I hurried up to my room, Peter and Jack coming with me to the door.
+"Is everything right?" said Peter, looking among the towels and
+water-jugs. "They've given you a decent fire for a wonder," said
+Jack, stirring up the red hot turf which blazed in the grate. "All
+right as a trivet," said I. "And look alive like a good fellow,"
+said Jack. We had scowled at each other in the morning as very young
+men do when they are strangers; and now, after a few hours, we were
+intimate friends.
+
+I immediately turned to my work, and was gratified to find that all
+my things were laid out ready for dressing; my portmanteau had of
+course come open, as my keys were in my pocket, and therefore some of
+the excellent servants of the house had been able to save me all the
+trouble of unpacking. There was my shirt hanging before the fire; my
+black clothes were spread upon the bed, my socks and collar and
+handkerchief beside them; my brushes were on the toilet table, and
+everything prepared exactly as though my own man had been there. How
+nice!
+
+I immediately went to work at getting off my spurs and boots, and
+then proceeded to loosen the buttons at my knees. In doing this I
+sat down in the arm-chair which had been drawn up for me, opposite
+the fire. But what was the object on which my eyes then fell;--the
+objects I should rather say!
+
+Immediately in front of my chair was placed, just ready for may feet,
+an enormous pair of shooting-boots--half-boots made to lace up round
+the ankles, with thick double leather soles, and each bearing half a
+stone of iron in the shape of nails and heel-pieces. I had
+superintended the making of these shoes in Burlington Arcade with the
+greatest diligence. I was never a good shot; and, like some other
+sportsmen, intended to make up for my deficiency in performance by
+the excellence of my shooting apparel. "Those nails are not large
+enough," I had said; "nor nearly large enough." But when the boots
+came home they struck even me as being too heavy, too metalsome.
+"He, he, he," laughed the boot boy as he turned them up for me to
+look at. It may therefore be imagined of what nature were the
+articles which were thus set out for the evening's dancing.
+
+And then the way in which they were placed! When I saw this the
+conviction flew across my mind like a flash of lightning that the
+preparation had been made under other eyes than those of the servant.
+The heavy big boots were placed so prettily before the chair, and the
+strings of each were made to dangle down at the sides, as though just
+ready for tying! They seemed to say, the boots did, "Now, make
+haste. We at any rate are ready--you cannot say that you were kept
+waiting for us." No mere servant's hand had ever enabled a pair of
+boots to laugh at one so completely.
+
+But what was I to do? I rushed at the small portmanteau, thinking
+that my pumps also might be there. The woman surely could not have
+been such a fool as to send me those tons of iron for my evening
+wear! But, alas, alas! no pumps were there. There was nothing else
+in the way of covering for my feet; not even a pair of slippers.
+
+And now what was I to do? The absolute magnitude of my misfortune
+only loomed upon me by degrees. The twenty minutes allowed by that
+stern old paterfamilias were already gone and I had done nothing
+towards dressing. And indeed it was impossible that I should do
+anything that would be of avail. I could not go down to dinner in my
+stocking feet, nor could I put on my black dress trousers, over a
+pair of mud-painted top-boots. As for those iron-soled horrors--;
+and then I gave one of them a kick with the side of my bare foot
+which sent it half way under the bed.
+
+But what was I to do? I began washing myself and brushing my hair
+with this horrid weight upon my mind. My first plan was to go to
+bed, and send down word that I had been taken suddenly ill in the
+stomach; then to rise early in the morning and get away unobserved.
+But by such a course of action I should lose all chance of any
+further acquaintance with those pretty girls! That they were already
+aware of the extent of my predicament, and were now enjoying it--of
+that I was quite sure.
+
+What if I boldly put on the shooting-boots, and clattered down to
+dinner in them? What if I took the bull by the horns, and made,
+myself, the most of the joke? This might be very well for the
+dinner, but it would be a bad joke for me when the hour for dancing
+came. And, alas! I felt that I lacked the courage. It is not every
+man that can walk down to dinner, in a strange house full of ladies,
+wearing such boots as those I have described.
+
+Should I not attempt to borrow a pair? This, all the world will say,
+should have been my first idea. But I have not yet mentioned that I
+am myself a large-boned man, and that my feet are especially well
+developed. I had never for a moment entertained a hope that I should
+find any one in that house whose boot I could wear. But at last I
+rang the bell. I would send for Jack, and if everything failed, I
+would communicate my grief to him.
+
+I had to ring twice before anybody came. The servants, I well knew,
+were putting the dinner on the table. At last a man entered the
+room, dressed in rather shabby black, whom I afterwards learned to be
+the butler.
+
+"What is your name, my friend?" said I, determined to make an ally of
+the man.
+
+"My name? Why Larry sure, yer honer. And the masther is out of his
+sinses in a hurry, becase yer honer don't come down."
+
+"Is he though? Well now, Larry; tell me this; which of all the
+gentlemen in the house has got the largest foot?"
+
+"Is it the largest foot, yer honer?" said Larry, altogether surprised
+by my question.
+
+"Yes; the largest foot," and then I proceeded to explain to him my
+misfortune. He took up first my top-boot, and then the shooting-
+boot--in looking at which he gazed with wonder at the nails;--and
+then he glanced at my feet, measuring them with his eye; and after
+this he pronounced his opinion.
+
+"Yer honer couldn't wear a morsel of leather belonging to ere a one
+of 'em, young or ould. There niver was a foot like that yet among
+the O'Conors."
+
+"But are there no strangers staying here?"
+
+"There's three or four on 'em come in to dinner; but they'll be
+wanting their own boots I'm thinking. And there's young Misther
+Dillon; he's come to stay. But Lord love you--" and he again looked
+at the enormous extent which lay between the heel and the toe of the
+shooting apparatus which he still held in his hand. "I niver see
+such a foot as that in the whole barony," he said, "barring my own."
+
+Now Larry was a large man, much larger altogether than myself, and as
+he said this I looked down involuntarily at his feet; or rather at
+his foot, for as he stood I could only see one. And then a sudden
+hope filled my heart. On that foot there glittered a shoe--not
+indeed such as were my own which were now resting ingloriously at
+Ballyglass while they were so sorely needed at Castle Conor; but one
+which I could wear before ladies, without shame--and in my present
+frame of mind with infinite contentment.
+
+"Let me look at that one of your own," said I to the man, as though
+it were merely a subject for experimental inquiry. Larry, accustomed
+to obedience, took off the shoe and handed it to me.
+
+My own foot was immediately in it, and I found that it fitted me like
+a glove.
+
+"And now the other," said I--not smiling, for a smile would have put
+him on his guard; but somewhat sternly, so that that habit of
+obedience should not desert him at this perilous moment. And then I
+stretched out my hand.
+
+"But yer honer can't keep 'em, you know," said he. "I haven't the
+ghost of another shoe to my feet." But I only looked more sternly
+than before, and still held out my hand. Custom prevailed. Larry
+stooped down slowly, looking at me the while, and pulling off the
+other slipper handed it to me with much hesitation. Alas! as I put
+it to my foot I found that it was old, and worn, and irredeemably
+down at heel;--that it was in fact no counterpart at all to that
+other one which was to do duty as its fellow. But nevertheless I put
+my foot into it, and felt that a descent to the drawing-room was now
+possible.
+
+"But yer honer will give 'em back to a poor man?" said Larry almost
+crying. "The masther's mad this minute becase the dinner's not up.
+Glory to God, only listhen to that!" And as he spoke a tremendous
+peal rang out from some bell down stairs that had evidently been
+shaken by an angry hand.
+
+"Larry," said I--and I endeavoured to assume a look of very grave
+importance as I spoke--"I look to you to assist me in this matter."
+
+"Och--wirra sthrue then, and will you let me go? just listhen to
+that," and another angry peal rang out, loud and repeated.
+
+"If you do as I ask you," I continued, "you shall be well rewarded.
+Look here; look at these boots," and I held up the shooting-shoes new
+from Burlington Arcade. "They cost thirty shillings--thirty
+shillings! and I will give them to you for the loan of this pair of
+slippers."
+
+"They'd be no use at all to me, yer honer; not the laist use in
+life."
+
+"You could do with them very well for to-night, and then you could
+sell them. And here are ten shillings besides," and I held out half
+a sovereign which the poor fellow took into his hand.
+
+I waited no further parley but immediately walked out of the room.
+With one foot I was sufficiently pleased. As regarded that I felt
+that I had overcome my difficulty. But the other was not so
+satisfactory. Whenever I attempted to lift it from the ground the
+horrid slipper would fall off, or only just hang by the toe. As for
+dancing, that would be out of the question.
+
+"Och, murther, murther," sang out Larry, as he heard me going down
+stairs. "What will I do at all? Tare and 'ounds; there, he's at it
+agin, as mad as blazes." This last exclamation had reference to
+another peal which was evidently the work of the master's hand.
+
+I confess I was not quite comfortable as I walked down stairs. In
+the first place I was nearly half an hour late, and I knew from the
+vigour of the peals that had sounded that my slowness had already
+been made the subject of strong remarks. And then my left shoe went
+flop, flop, on every alternate step of the stairs. By no exertion of
+my foot in the drawing up of my toe could I induce it to remain
+permanently fixed upon my foot. But over and above and worse than
+all this was the conviction strong upon my mind that I should become
+a subject of merriment to the girls as soon as I entered the room.
+They would understand the cause of my distress, and probably at this
+moment were expecting to hear me clatter through the stone hall with
+those odious metal boots.
+
+However, I hurried down and entered the drawing-room, determined to
+keep my position near the door, so that I might have as little as
+possible to do on entering and as little as possible in going out.
+But I had other difficulties in store for me. I had not as yet been
+introduced to Mrs. O'Conor; nor to Miss O'Conor, the squire's
+unmarried sister.
+
+"Upon my word I thought you were never coming," said Mr. O'Conor as
+soon as he saw me. "It is just one hour since we entered the house.
+Jack, I wish you would find out what has come to that fellow Larry,"
+and again he rang the bell. He was too angry, or it might be too
+impatient to go through the ceremony of introducing me to anybody.
+
+I saw that the two girls looked at me very sharply, but I stood at
+the back of an arm-chair so that no one could see my feet. But that
+little imp Tizzy walked round deliberately, looked at my heels, and
+then walked back again. It was clear that she was in the secret.
+
+There were eight or ten people in the room, but I was too much
+fluttered to notice well who they were.
+
+"Mamma," said Miss O'Conor, "let me introduce Mr. Green to you."
+
+It luckily happened that Mrs. O'Conor was on the same side of the
+fire as myself, and I was able to take the hand which she offered me
+without coming round into the middle of the circle. Mrs. O'Conor was
+a little woman, apparently not of much importance in the world, but,
+if one might judge from first appearance, very good-natured.
+
+"And my aunt Die, Mr. Green," said Kate, pointing to a very straight-
+backed, grim-looking lady, who occupied a corner of a sofa, on the
+opposite side of the hearth. I knew that politeness required that I
+should walk across the room and make acquaintance with her. But
+under the existing circumstances how was I to obey the dictates of
+politeness? I was determined therefore to stand my ground, and
+merely bowed across the room at Miss O'Conor. In so doing I made an
+enemy who never deserted me during the whole of my intercourse with
+the family. But for her, who knows who might have been sitting
+opposite to me as I now write?
+
+"Upon my word, Mr. Green, the ladies will expect much from an Adonis
+who takes so long over his toilet," said Tom O'Conor in that cruel
+tone of banter which he knew so well how to use.
+
+"You forget, father, that men in London can't jump in and out of
+their clothes as quick as we wild Irishmen," said Jack.
+
+"Mr. Green knows that we expect a great deal from him this evening.
+I hope you polk well, Mr. Green," said Kate.
+
+I muttered something about never dancing, but I knew that that which
+I said was inaudible.
+
+"I don't think Mr. Green will dance," said Tizzy; "at least not
+much." The impudence of that child was, I think, unparalleled by any
+that I have ever witnessed.
+
+"But in the name of all that's holy, why don't we have dinner?" And
+Mr. O'Conor thundered at the door. "Larry, Larry, Larry!" he
+screamed.
+
+"Yes, yer honer, it'll be all right in two seconds," answered Larry,
+from some bottomless abyss. "Tare an' ages; what'll I do at all," I
+heard him continuing, as he made his way into the hall. Oh what a
+clatter he made upon the pavement,--for it was all stone! And how
+the drops of perspiration stood upon my brow as I listened to him!
+
+And then there was a pause, for the man had gone into the dining-
+room. I could see now that Mr. O'Conor was becoming very angry, and
+Jack the eldest son--oh, how often he and I have laughed over all
+this since--left the drawing-room for the second time. Immediately
+afterwards Larry's footsteps were again heard, hurrying across the
+hall, and then there was a great slither, and an exclamation, and the
+noise of a fall--and I could plainly hear poor Larry's head strike
+against the stone floor.
+
+"Ochone, ochone!" he cried at the top of his voice--"I'm murthered
+with 'em now intirely; and d-- 'em for boots--St. Peter be good to
+me."
+
+There was a general rush into the hall, and I was carried with the
+stream. The poor fellow who had broken his head would be sure to
+tell how I had robbed him of his shoes. The coachman was already
+helping him up, and Peter good-naturedly lent a hand.
+
+"What on earth is the matter?" said Mr. O'Conor.
+
+"He must be tipsy," whispered Miss O'Conor, the maiden sister.
+
+"I aint tipsy at all thin," said Larry, getting up and rubbing the
+back of his head, and sundry other parts of his body. "Tipsy
+indeed!" And then he added when he was quite upright, "The dinner is
+sarved--at last."
+
+And he bore it all without telling! "I'll give that fellow a guinea
+to-morrow morning," said I to myself--"if it's the last that I have
+in the world."
+
+I shall never forget the countenance of the Miss O'Conors as Larry
+scrambled up cursing the unfortunate boots--"What on earth has he got
+on?" said Mr. O'Conor.
+
+"Sorrow take 'em for shoes," ejaculated Larry. But his spirit was
+good and he said not a word to betray me.
+
+We all then went in to dinner how we best could. It was useless for
+us to go back into the drawing-room, that each might seek his own
+partner. Mr. O'Conor "the masther," not caring much for the girls
+who were around him, and being already half beside himself with the
+confusion and delay, led the way by himself. I as a stranger should
+have given my arm to Mrs. O'Conor; but as it was I took her eldest
+daughter instead, and contrived to shuffle along into the dining-room
+without exciting much attention, and when there I found myself
+happily placed between Kate and Fanny.
+
+"I never knew anything so awkward," said Fanny; "I declare I can't
+conceive what has come to our old servant Larry. He's generally the
+most precise person in the world, and now he is nearly an hour late--
+and then he tumbles down in the hall."
+
+"I am afraid I am responsible for the delay," said I.
+
+"But not for the tumble I suppose," said Kate from the other side. I
+felt that I blushed up to the eyes, but I did not dare to enter into
+explanations.
+
+"Tom," said Tizzy, addressing her father across the table, "I hope
+you had a good run to-day." It did seem odd to me that young lady
+should call her father Tom, but such was the fact.
+
+"Well; pretty well," said Mr. O'Conor.
+
+"And I hope you were up with the hounds."
+
+"You may ask Mr. Green that. He at any rate was with them, and
+therefore he can tell you."
+
+"Oh, he wasn't before you, I know. No Englishman could get before
+you;--I am quite sure of that."
+
+"Don't you be impertinent, miss," said Kate. "You can easily see,
+Mr. Green, that papa spoils my sister Eliza."
+
+"Do you hunt in top-boots, Mr. Green?" said Tizzy.
+
+To this I made no answer. She would have drawn me into a
+conversation about my feet in half a minute, and the slightest
+allusion to the subject threw me into a fit of perspiration.
+
+"Are you fond of hunting, Miss O'Conor?" asked I, blindly hurrying
+into any other subject of conversation.
+
+Miss O'Conor owned that she was fond of hunting--just a little; only
+papa would not allow it. When the hounds met anywhere within reach
+of Castle Conor, she and Kate would ride out to look at them; and if
+papa was not there that day,--an omission of rare occurrence,--they
+would ride a few fields with the hounds.
+
+"But he lets Tizzy keep with them the whole day," said she,
+whispering.
+
+"And has Tizzy a pony of her own?"
+
+"Oh yes, Tizzy has everything. She's papa's pet, you know."
+
+"And whose pet are you?" I asked.
+
+"Oh--I am nobody's pet, unless sometimes Jack makes a pet of me when
+he's in a good humour. Do you make pets of your sisters, Mr. Green?"
+
+"I have none. But if I had I should not make pets of them."
+
+"Not of your own sisters?"
+
+"No. As for myself, I'd sooner make a pet of my friend's sister; a
+great deal."
+
+"How very unnatural," said Miss O'Conor, with the prettiest look of
+surprise imaginable.
+
+"Not at all unnatural I think," said I, looking tenderly and lovingly
+into her face. Where does one find girls so pretty, so easy, so
+sweet, so talkative as the Irish girls? And then with all their
+talking and all their ease who ever hears of their misbehaving? They
+certainly love flirting, as they also love dancing. But they flirt
+without mischief and without malice.
+
+I had now quite forgotten my misfortune, and was beginning to think
+how well I should like to have Fanny O'Conor for my wife. In this
+frame of mind I was bending over towards her as a servant took away a
+plate from the other side, when a sepulchral note sounded in my ear.
+It was like the memento mori of the old Roman;--as though some one
+pointed in the midst of my bliss to the sword hung over my head by a
+thread. It was the voice of Larry, whispering in his agony just
+above my head -
+
+"They's disthroying my poor feet intirely, intirely; so they is! I
+can't bear it much longer, yer honer." I had committed murder like
+Macbeth; and now my Banquo had come to disturb me at my feast.
+
+"What is it he says to you?" asked Fanny.
+
+"Oh nothing," I answered, once more in my misery.
+
+"There seems to be some point of confidence between you and our
+Larry," she remarked.
+
+"Oh no," said I, quite confused; "not at all."
+
+"You need not be ashamed of it. Half the gentlemen in the county
+have their confidences with Larry;--and some of the ladies too, I can
+tell you. He was born in this house, and never lived anywhere else;
+and I am sure he has a larger circle of acquaintance than any one
+else in it."
+
+I could not recover my self-possession for the next ten minutes.
+Whenever Larry was on our side of the table I was afraid he was
+coming to me with another agonised whisper. When he was opposite, I
+could not but watch him as he hobbled in his misery. It was evident
+that the boots were too tight for him, and had they been made
+throughout of iron they could not have been less capable of yielding
+to the feet. I pitied him from the bottom of my heart. And I pitied
+myself also, wishing that I was well in bed upstairs with some
+feigned malady, so that Larry might have had his own again.
+
+And then for a moment I missed him from the room. He had doubtless
+gone to relieve his tortured feet in the servants' hall, and as he
+did so was cursing my cruelty. But what mattered it? Let him curse.
+If he would only stay away and do that, I would appease his wrath
+when we were alone together with pecuniary satisfaction.
+
+But there was no such rest in store for me. "Larry, Larry," shouted
+Mr. O'Conor, "where on earth has the fellow gone to?" They were all
+cousins at the table except myself, and Mr. O'Conor was not therefore
+restrained by any feeling of ceremony. "There is something wrong
+with that fellow to-day; what is it, Jack?"
+
+"Upon my word, sir, I don't know," said Jack.
+
+"I think he must be tipsy," whispered Miss O'Conor, the maiden
+sister, who always sat at her brother's left hand. But a whisper
+though it was, it was audible all down the table.
+
+"No, ma'am; it aint dhrink at all," said the coachman. "It is his
+feet as does it."
+
+"His feet!" shouted Tom O'Conor.
+
+"Yes; I know it's his feet," said that horrid Tizzy. "He's got on
+great thick nailed shoes. It was that that made him tumble down in
+the hall."
+
+I glanced at each side of me, and could see that there was a certain
+consciousness expressed in the face of each of my two neighbours;--on
+Kate's mouth there was decidedly a smile, or rather, perhaps, the
+slightest possible inclination that way; whereas on Fanny's part I
+thought I saw something like a rising sorrow at my distress. So at
+least I flattered myself.
+
+"Send him back into the room immediately," said Tom, who looked at me
+as though he had some consciousness that I had introduced all this
+confusion into his household. What should I do? Would it not be
+best for me to make clean breast of it before them all? But alas! I
+lacked the courage.
+
+The coachman went out, and we were left for five minutes without any
+servant, and Mr. O'Conor the while became more and more savage. I
+attempted to say a word to Fanny, but failed. Vox faucibus haesit.
+
+"I don't think he has got any others," said Tizzy--"at least none
+others left."
+
+On the whole I am glad I did not marry into the family, as I could
+not have endured that girl to stay in my house as a sister-in-law.
+
+"Where the d-- has that other fellow gone to?" said Tom. "Jack, do
+go out and see what is the matter. If anybody is drunk send for me."
+
+"Oh, there is nobody drunk," said Tizzy.
+
+Jack went out, and the coachman returned; but what was done and said
+I hardly remember. The whole room seemed to swim round and round,
+and as far as I can recollect the company sat mute, neither eating
+nor drinking. Presently Jack returned.
+
+"It's all right," said he. I always liked Jack. At the present
+moment he just looked towards me and laughed slightly.
+
+"All right?" said Tom. "But is the fellow coming?"
+
+"We can do with Richard, I suppose," said Jack.
+
+"No--I can't do with Richard," said the father. "And will know what
+it all means. Where is that fellow Larry?"
+
+Larry had been standing just outside the door, and now he entered
+gently as a mouse. No sound came from his footfall, nor was there in
+his face that look of pain which it had worn for the last fifteen
+minutes. But he was not the less abashed, frightened and unhappy.
+
+"What is all this about, Larry?" said his master, turning to him. "I
+insist upon knowing."
+
+"Och thin, Mr. Green, yer honer, I wouldn't be afther telling agin
+yer honer; indeed I wouldn't thin, av' the masther would only let me
+hould my tongue." And he looked across at me, deprecating my anger.
+
+"Mr. Green!" said Mr. O'Conor.
+
+"Yes, yer honer. It's all along of his honer's thick shoes;" and
+Larry, stepping backwards towards the door, lifted them up from some
+corner, and coming well forward, exposed them with the soles
+uppermost to the whole table.
+
+"And that's not all, yer honer; but they've squoze the very toes of
+me into a jelly."
+
+There was now a loud laugh, in which Jack and Peter and Fanny and
+Kate and Tizzy all joined; as too did Mr. O'Conor--and I also myself
+after a while.
+
+"Whose boots are they?" demanded Miss O'Conor senior, with her
+severest tone and grimmest accent.
+
+"'Deed then and the divil may have them for me, Miss," answered
+Larry. "They war Mr. Green's, but the likes of him won't wear them
+agin afther the likes of me--barring he wanted them very particular,"
+added he, remembering his own pumps.
+
+I began muttering something, feeling that the time had come when I
+must tell the tale. But Jack with great good nature, took up the
+story and told it so well, that I hardly suffered in the telling.
+
+"And that's it," said Tom O'Conor, laughing till I thought he would
+have fallen from his chair. "So you've got Larry's shoes on--"
+
+"And very well he fills them," said Jack.
+
+"And it's his honer that's welcome to 'em," said Larry, grinning from
+ear to ear now that he saw that "the masther" was once more in a good
+humour.
+
+"I hope they'll be nice shoes for dancing," said Kate.
+
+"Only there's one down at the heel I know," said Tizzy.
+
+"The servant's shoes!" This was an exclamation made by the maiden
+lady, and intended apparently only for her brother's ear. But it was
+clearly audible by all the party.
+
+"Better that than no dinner," said Peter.
+
+"But what are you to do about the dancing?" said Fanny, with an air
+of dismay on her face which flattered me with an idea that she did
+care whether I danced or no.
+
+In the mean time Larry, now as happy as an emperor, was tripping
+round the room without any shoes to encumber him as he withdrew the
+plates from the table.
+
+"And it's his honer that's welcome to 'em," said he again, as he
+pulled off the table-cloth with a flourish. "And why wouldn't he,
+and he able to folly the hounds betther nor any Englishman that iver
+war in these parts before,--anyways so Mick says!"
+
+Now Mick was the huntsman, and this little tale of eulogy from Larry
+went far towards easing my grief. I had ridden well to the hounds
+that day, and I knew it.
+
+There was nothing more said about the shoes, and I was soon again at
+my ease, although Miss O'Conor did say something about the
+impropriety of Larry walking about in his stocking feet. The ladies
+however soon withdrew,--to my sorrow, for I was getting on swimmingly
+with Fanny; and then we gentlemen gathered round the fire and filled
+our glasses.
+
+In about ten minutes a very light tap was heard, the door was opened
+to the extent of three inches, and a female voice which I readily
+recognised called to Jack.
+
+Jack went out, and in a second or two put his head back into the room
+and called to me--"Green," he said, "just step here moment, there's a
+good fellow." I went out, and there I found Fanny standing with her
+brother.
+
+"Here are the girls at their wits' ends," said he, "about your
+dancing. So Fanny has put a boy upon one of the horse and proposes
+that you should send another line to Mrs. Meehan at Ballyglass. It's
+only ten miles, and he'll be back in two hours."
+
+I need hardly say that I acted in conformity with this advice, I went
+into Mr. O'Conor's book room, with Jack and his sister, and there
+scribbled a note. I was delightful to feel how intimate I was with
+them, and how anxious they were to make me happy.
+
+"And we won't begin till they come," said Fanny.
+
+"Oh, Miss O'Conor, pray don't wait," said I.
+
+"Oh, but we will," she answered. "You have your wine to drink, and
+then there's the tea; and then we'll have a song two. I'll spin it
+out; see if I don't." And so we went to the front door where the boy
+was already on his horse--her own nag as I afterwards found.
+
+"And Patsey," said she, "ride for your life; and Patsey, whatever you
+do, don't come back without Mr. Green's pumps--his dancing-shoes you
+know."
+
+And in about two hours the pumps did arrive; and I don't think I ever
+spent a pleasanter evening or got more satisfaction out of a pair of
+shoes. They had not been two minutes on my feet before Larry was
+carrying a tray of negus across the room in those which I had worn at
+dinner.
+
+"The Dillon girls are going to stay here," said Fanny as I wished her
+good night at two o'clock. "And we'll have dancing every evening as
+long as you remain."
+
+"But I shall leave to-morrow," said I.
+
+"Indeed you won't. Papa will take care of that."
+
+And so he did. "You had better go over to Ballyglass yourself to-
+morrow," said he, "and collect your own things. There's no knowing
+else what you may have to borrow of Larry."
+
+I stayed there three weeks, and in the middle of the third I thought
+that everything would be arranged between me and Fanny. But the aunt
+interfered; and in about a twelvemonth after my adventures she
+consented to make a more fortunate man happy for his life.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's O'Conors of Castle Conor, by Anthony Trollope
+
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