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diff --git a/35688-h/35688-h.htm b/35688-h/35688-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bc4eae2 --- /dev/null +++ b/35688-h/35688-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4999 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=iso-8859-1" /> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of Alice in Wonderland: A Dramatization of Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass", + by Alice Gerstenberg. + </title> + + <style type="text/css"> + + p {margin-top: .75em; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: .75em;} + + body {margin-left: 12%; margin-right: 12%;} + + .pagenum {position: absolute; left: 92%; font-size: smaller; text-align: right; font-style: normal;} + + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center; clear: both;} + + hr {width: 33%; margin-top: 2em; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; clear: both;} + + table {margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} + + .giant {font-size: 200%} + .huge {font-size: 150%} + + .poem {margin-left: 10%;} + .note {margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%;} + .dent {margin-left: 2%;} + + .center {text-align: center;} + + .smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} + + .figcenter {margin: auto; text-align: center;} + + a:link {color:#0000ff; text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:#6633cc; text-decoration:none} + + </style> + </head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Alice in Wonderland, by Alice Gerstenberg + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Alice in Wonderland + A Dramatization of Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in + Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass" + +Author: Alice Gerstenberg + +Release Date: March 26, 2011 [EBook #35688] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE IN WONDERLAND *** + + + + +Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive.) + + + + + + +</pre> + + + + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img01.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p><p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img02tmb.jpg" alt="" /><br /> +<a href="images/img02.jpg"><small>Larger Image</small></a></div> +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Alice</span>: You’re Humpty Dumpty! Just like an egg.<br /><span style="margin-left: 20em;">[Page <a href="#Page_24">24</a>]</span></p> + + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img03tmb.jpg" alt="" /><br /> +<a href="images/img03.jpg"><small>Larger Image</small></a><br /> +<a href="#title"><small>Text of Title Page</small></a></div> + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<p class="center">Copyright<br />A. C. McCLURG & CO.<br />1915</p> +<p> </p> +<p class="center">Published December, 1915</p> +<p> </p> +<p class="center">Rights to produce this play in all countries of the world<br />are reserved by Alice Gerstenberg</p> +<p> </p> +<p class="center">W. F. MAEL PRINTING COMPANY, CHICAGO</p> + + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img04.jpg" alt="TO THE MEMORY OF LEWIS CARROLL" /></div> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<hr style="width: 50%;" /> +<div class="note"> +<p>This dramatic rendering of <i>Alice in Wonderland</i>, by Alice Gerstenberg of +Chicago, was produced by The Players Producing Company of Chicago (Aline +Barnsdall and Arthur Bissell), at the Fine Arts Theater, Chicago, February +11, 1915. After a successful run it opened at the Booth Theater, New York, +March 23, 1915.</p> + +<p>The scenery and the costumes were designed by William Penhallow Henderson +of Chicago.</p> + +<p>The music was written by Eric De Lamarter of Chicago.</p> + +<p>The advertising posters and cards were designed by Jerome Blum of Chicago.</p> + +<p>The illustrations of the characters of the play in this book were drawn by +J. Allen St. John from photographs by Victor Georg of Chicago.</p> + +<p>W. H. Gilmore staged the play with the following cast:</p></div> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="5" summary="table"> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Lewis Carroll</span></td><td>Frank Stirling</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Alice</span></td><td>Vivian Tobin</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></td><td>Florence LeClercq</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></td><td>Mary Servoss</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></td><td>Donald Gallaher</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></td><td>Alfred Donohoe</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></td><td>Fred W. Permain</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></td><td>Geoffrey Stein</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Mad Hatter</span></td><td>Geoffrey Stein</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></td><td>Fred W. Permain</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></td><td>J. Gunnis Davis</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Frog Footman</span></td><td>Walter Kingsford</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></td><td>Kenyon Bishop</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Cheshire Cat</span></td><td>Alfred Donohoe</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">King of Hearts</span></td><td>Frederick Annerly</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Queen of Hearts</span></td><td>Winifred Hanley</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Knave of Hearts</span> </td><td>Foxhall Daingerfield</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></td><td>Walter Kingsford</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Two of Spades</span></td><td>Rule Pyott</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Five of Spades</span></td><td>France Bendtsen</td></tr> +<tr><td><span class="smcap">Seven of Spades </span></td><td>John A. Rice</td></tr></table> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<hr style="width: 50%;" /> +<h2>Alice in Wonderland</h2> + +<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="5" summary="table"> +<tr><td align="center">THE SCENES</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="center"><a href="#ACT_I">ACT I</a></td></tr> +<tr><td>Scene I—Alice’s Home.<br /> +Scene II—The Room in the Looking Glass.<br /> +Scene III—The Hall with Doors.<br /> +Scene IV—The Sea Shore.</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="center"><a href="#ACT_II">ACT II</a></td></tr> +<tr><td>Scene——The March Hare’s Garden.</td></tr> +<tr><td> </td></tr> +<tr><td align="center"><a href="#ACT_III">ACT III</a></td></tr> +<tr><td>Scene I—The Garden of Flowers.<br /> +Scene II—The Court of Hearts.<br /> +Scene III—Alice’s Home.</td></tr></table> + +<p>Miss Gerstenberg’s manuscript called for costumes after the illustrations +of John Tenniel, and scenery of the simple imaginative type, the “new art” +in the theater.</p> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<hr style="width: 50%;" /> +<p class="center"><span class="giant">ALICE IN WONDERLAND</span></p> + +<p> </p><p> </p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> +<p class="center"><span class="huge">Alice in Wonderland</span></p> +<p> </p><p> </p> +<h2><a name="ACT_I" id="ACT_I"></a>ACT I</h2> + +<p> </p> +<p class="center"><span class="big">SCENE ONE</span></p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Alice’s</span> <i>home.</i> <span class="smcap">Lewis Carroll</span> <i>is discovered, playing chess. +Golden-haired</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span>, <i>in a little blue dress, a black kitten in her arms, +stands watching him.</i></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s a funny game, uncle. What did you do then?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">A red pawn took a white pawn; this way. You see, Alice, the chessboard is +divided into sixty-four squares, red and white, and the white army tries +to win and the red army tries to win. It’s like a battle!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">With soldiers?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, here are the Kings and Queens they are fighting for. That’s the Red +Queen and here’s the White Queen.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[Pg 2]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How funny they look!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">See the crowns on their heads, and look at their big feet.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a foot apiece, that’s what it is! Do they hump along like this?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Here! You’re spoiling the game. I must keep them all in their right +squares.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I want to be a queen!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Here <i>you</i> are [<i>he points to a small white pawn</i>] here <i>you</i> are in your +little stiff skirt!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How do you do, Alice!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And now you are going to move here.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[Pg 3]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Let me move myself.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">When you have traveled all along the board this way and haven’t been taken +by the enemy you may be a queen.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why do people always play with kings and queens? Mother has them in her +playing cards too. Look!</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>goes to the mantel and takes a pack of playing cards from the +ledge.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Here’s the King of Hearts and here’s his wife; she’s the Queen of +Hearts—isn’t she cross-looking? wants to bite one’s head off.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Carroll</span> <i>moves a pawn.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">You’re playing against yourself, aren’t you?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s one way of keeping in practice, Alice; I have friends in the +university who want to beat me.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But if you play against yourself I should think you’d want to cheat!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Does a nice little girl like you cheat when she plays against herself?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[Pg 4]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! I <i>never</i> do! I’d scold myself hard. I always pretend I’m <i>two</i> people +too. It’s lots of fun, isn’t it? Sometimes when I’m all alone I walk up to +the looking glass and talk to the other Alice. She’s so silly, that Alice; +she can’t do anything by herself. She just mocks me all the time. When I +laugh, she laughs, when I point my finger at her, she points her finger at +me, and when I stick my tongue out at her she sticks her tongue out at me! +Kitty has a twin too, haven’t you darling?</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>goes to the mirror to show Kitty her twin.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ll have to write a book some day about Alice—Alice in wonderland, +“Child of the pure unclouded brow and dreaming eyes of wonder!” or, Alice +through the looking glass!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Don’t you wish sometimes you could go into looking-glass house? See!</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>stands on an armchair and looks into the mirror.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">There’s the room you can see through the glass; it’s just the same as our +living-room here, only the things go the other way. I can see all of +it—all but the bit just behind the fireplace. Oh! I do wish I could see +that bit! I want so much to know if they’ve a fire there. You never <i>can</i> +tell, you know, unless our fire smokes. Then smoke comes up in that room +too—but that may be just to make it look as if they had a fire—just to +pretend they had. The books are something like our books,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span> only the words +go the wrong way. Won’t there ever be any way of our getting through, +uncle?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Do you think Kitty would find looking-glass milk digestible?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It doesn’t sound awful good, does it; but I might leave her at home. She’s +been into an awful lot of mischief today. She found sister’s knitting and +chased the ball all over the garden where sister was playing croquet with +the neighbors. And I ran and ran after the naughty little thing until I +was all out of breath and so tired! I am tired.</p> + +<p>[<i>She yawns and makes herself comfortable in the armchair.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Replaces the playing cards on the mantel and consults his watch.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Take a nap. Yes, you have time before tea.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Half asleep.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">We’re going to have mock turtle soup for supper! I heard mamma tell the +cook not to pepper it too much.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What a funny little rabbit it is, nibbling all the time!</p> + +<p>[<i>He leans gently over the back of her chair, and seeing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span> that she is +going to sleep puts out the lamp light and leaves the room. A red glow +from the fireplace illumines</i> <span class="smcap">Alice.</span>]</p> + +<p>[<i>Dream music. A bluish light reveals the</i> <span class="smcap">Red Chess Queen</span> <i>and the</i> <span class="smcap">White +Chess Queen</span> <i>in the mirror.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Points to</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>and says in a mysterious voice.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">There she is, let’s call her over.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Do you think she’ll come?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ll call softly, Alice!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Hist, Alice.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Alice!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Hush—if she wakes and catches us—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Both Queens</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Alice, come through into looking-glass house!</p> + +<p>[<i>Their hands beckon her.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Rises, and talks sleepily. The Queens disappear.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>climbs from the +arm of the chair to the back of another and so on up to the mantel ledge, +where she picks her way daintily between the vases.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I—don’t—know—how—I—can—get—through. I’ve tried—before—but the +glass was hard—and I was afraid of cutting—my fingers—</p> + +<p>[<i>She feels the glass and is amazed to find it like gauze.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Why, it’s soft like gauze; it’s turning into a sort of mist; why, it’s +easy to get through! <i>Why—why</i>—I’m going <i>through</i>!</p> + +<p>[<i>She disappears.</i>]</p> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<p class="center"><span class="big">SCENE TWO</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Is Scene One, reversed. The portieres are black and red squares like a +chessboard. A soft radiance follows the characters mysteriously. As the +curtain rises</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>comes through the looking glass; steps down, looks +about in wonderment and goes to see if there is a “fire.” The</i> <span class="smcap">Red Queen</span> +<i>rises out of the grate and faces her haughtily.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why, you’re the Red Queen!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course I am! Where do you come from? And where are you going? Look up, +speak nicely, and don’t twiddle your fingers!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I only wanted to see what the looking glass was like. Perhaps I’ve lost my +way.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know what you mean by your way; all the ways about here belong to +<i>me</i>. Curtsey while you’re thinking what to say. It saves time.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ll try it when I go home; the next time I’m a little late for dinner.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s time for you to answer now; open your mouth a <i>little</i> wider when you +speak, and always say, “Your Majesty.” I suppose you don’t want to lose +your name?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No, indeed.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And yet I don’t know, only think how convenient it would be if you could +manage to go home without it! For instance, if the governess wanted to +call you to your lessons, she would call out “come here,” and there she +would have to leave off, because there wouldn’t be any name for her to +call, and of course you wouldn’t have to go, you know.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That would never do, I’m sure; the governess would never think of excusing +me from lessons for that. If she couldn’t remember my name, she’d call me +“Miss,” as the servants do.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, if she said “Miss,” and didn’t say anything more, of course you’d +miss your lessons. I dare say you can’t even read this book.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s all in some language I don’t know. Why, it’s a looking-glass book, of +course! And if I hold it up to a glass, the words will all go the right +way again.</p> + +<p class="poem"><span style="margin-left: 4em;"><span class="smcap">Jabberwocky</span></span><br /> +’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;</span><br /> +All mimsy were the borogoves,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And the mome raths outgrabe.</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It seems very pretty, but it’s <i>rather</i> hard to understand; somehow it +seems to fill my head with ideas—only I don’t exactly know what they are.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I daresay you don’t know your geography either. Look at the map!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span>[<i>She takes a right angle course to the portieres and points to them with +her sceptre.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s marked out just like a big chessboard. I wouldn’t mind being a pawn, +though of course I should like to be a Red Queen best.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s easily managed. When you get to the eighth square you’ll be a +Queen. It’s a huge game of chess that’s being played—all over the world. +Come on, we’ve got to run. Faster, don’t try to talk.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I can’t.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Faster, faster.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Are we nearly there?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nearly there! Why, we passed it ten minutes ago. Faster. You may rest a +little now.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why, I do believe we’re in the same place. Everything’s just as it was.</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img05.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course it is, what would you have it?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, in our country you’d generally get to somewhere else—if you ran +very fast for a long time as we’ve been doing.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">A slow sort of country. Now <i>here</i> you see, it takes all the running <i>you</i> +can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you +must run at least twice as fast as that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’d rather not try, please! I’m quite content to stay here—only I <i>am</i> so +hot and thirsty.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I know what you’d like.</p> + +<p>[<i>She takes a little box out of her pocket.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Have a biscuit?</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span>, <i>not liking to refuse, curtseys as she takes the biscuit and +chokes.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">While you’re refreshing yourself, I’ll just take the measurements.</p> + +<p>[<i>She takes a ribbon out of her pocket and measures the map with it.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">At the end of two yards I shall give you your directions—have another +biscuit?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No thank you, one’s <i>quite</i> enough.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Thirst quenched, I hope? At the end of three yards I shall repeat +them—for fear of your forgetting them. At the end of <i>four</i>, I shall say +good-bye. And at the end of five, I shall go! That Square belongs to +Humpty Dumpty and that Square to the Gryphon and Mock Turtle and that +Square to the Queen of Hearts. But you make no remark?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I—I didn’t know I had to make one—just then.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You <i>should</i> have said, “It’s extremely kind of you to tell me all this,” +however, we’ll suppose it said. Four! Good-bye! Five!</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Red Queen</span> <i>vanishes in a gust of wind behind the portieres. Rabbit +music.</i> <span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span> <i>comes out of the fireplace and walks about the room +hurriedly. He wears a checked coat, carries white kid gloves in one hand, +a fan in the other and takes out his watch to look at it anxiously.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh the Duchess! the Duchess! Oh! won’t she be savage if I’ve kept her +waiting!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ve never seen a rabbit with a waistcoat and a watch! And a waistcoat +pocket! If you please, sir—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh!</p> + +<p>[<i>He drops fan and gloves in fright and dashes out by way of the portieres +in a gust of wind.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>picks up the fan and playfully puts on the +gloves. The portieres flap in the breeze and a shawl flies in.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Catches the shawl and looks about for the owner; then meets the</i> <span class="smcap">White +Queen.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I’m very glad I happened to be in the way.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Runs in wildly, both arms stretched out wide as if she were flying, and +cries in a helpless frightened way.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Am I addressing the White Queen?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, yes, if you call that a-dressing. It isn’t my notion of the thing, +at all.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If your Majesty will only tell me the right way to begin, I’ll do it as +well as I can.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But I don’t want it done at all. I’ve been a-dressing myself for the last +two hours.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Every single thing’s crooked, and you’re all over pins; may I put your +shawl straight for you?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know what’s the matter with it! It’s out of temper. I’ve pinned it +here, and I’ve pinned it there, but there’s no pleasing it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It <i>can’t</i> go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side, and dear +me, what a state your hair is in!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The brush has got entangled in it! And I lost the comb yesterday.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Takes out the brush and arranges the</i> <span class="smcap">Queen’s</span> <i>hair.</i>]</p> +<p class="dent">You look better now! But really you should have a lady’s maid!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m sure I’ll take you with pleasure. Two pence a week and jam every other day.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Who cannot help laughing.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t want you to hire me—and I don’t care for jam.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s very good jam.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, I don’t want any today, at any rate.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You couldn’t have it if you <i>did</i> want it. The rule is, jam tomorrow and +jam yesterday—but never jam today.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It must come sometimes to “jam today.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No, it can’t, it’s jam every <i>other</i> day; today isn’t any <i>other</i> day, you +know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t understand you, it’s dreadfully confusing!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s the effect of living backwards, it always makes one a little giddy +at first—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Living backwards! I never heard of such a thing!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But there’s one great advantage in it—that one’s memory works both ways.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m sure <i>mine</i> only works one way. I can’t remember things before they +happen.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What sort of things do you remember best?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, things that happened the week after next. For instance now:</p> + +<p>[<i>She sticks a large piece of plaster on her finger.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">There’s the King’s messenger—he’s in prison being punished; and the trial +doesn’t even begin till next Wednesday; and of course the crime comes last +of all.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Suppose he never commits the crime?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Binding the plaster with ribbon.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">That would be all the better, wouldn’t it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course it would be all the better, but it wouldn’t be all the better +his being punished.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’re wrong <i>there</i>, at any rate; were <i>you</i> ever punished?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Only for faults.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And you were all the better for it, I know!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, but then I <i>had</i> done the things I was punished for; that makes all +the difference.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But if you hadn’t done them that would have been better still; better and +better and better!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There’s a mistake somewhere—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Screams like an engine whistle, and shakes her hand.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, Oh, Oh! My finger’s bleeding. Oh, Oh, Oh!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What <i>is</i> the matter? Have you pricked your finger?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I haven’t pricked it yet—but I soon shall—Oh, Oh, Oh!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">When do you expect to do it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">When I fasten my shawl again; the brooch will come undone directly. Oh, Oh!</p> + +<p>[<i>Brooch flies open and she clutches it wildly.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Take care! you’re holding it all crooked!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Pricks her finger and smiles.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">That accounts for the bleeding, you see; now you understand the way things +happen here.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But why don’t you scream now?</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img06.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why, I’ve done all the screaming already. What would be the good of having +it all over again? Oh! it’s time to run if you want to stay in the same +place! Come on!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No, no! Not so fast! I’m getting dizzy!!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Faster, faster!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Everything’s black before my eyes!</p> + +<p>[<i>There is music, and the sound of rushing wind, and in the darkness the</i> +<span class="smcap">White Queen</span> <i>cries: “Faster, faster”;</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>gasps: “I can’t—please +stop”; and the</i> <span class="smcap">Queen</span> <i>replies: “Then you can’t stay in the same place. +I’ll have to drop you behind. Faster—faster, good-bye.”</i>]</p> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<p class="center"><span class="big">SCENE THREE</span></p> + +<p><i>When the curtain rises one sees nothing but odd black lanterns with +orange lights, hanging, presumably, from the sky. The scene lights up +slowly revealing</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>seated on two large cushions. She has been +“dropped behind” by the</i> <span class="smcap">White Queen</span> <i>and is dazed to find herself in a +strange hall with many peculiar doors and knobs too high to reach.</i></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! my head! Where am I? Oh dear, Oh dear!</p> + +<p>[<i>She staggers up and to her amazement finds herself smaller than the +table.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> I’ve never been smaller than any +table before! I’ve always been able to reach the knobs! What a curious feeling. Oh! I’m shrinking. It’s +the fan—the gloves!</p> + +<p>[<i>She throws them away, feels her head and measures herself against table +and doors.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! saved in time! But I never—never—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! my fan and gloves! Where <i>are</i> my—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! Mr. Rabbit—please help me out—I want to go home—I want to go home—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! the Duchess! Oh! my fur and whiskers! She’ll get me executed, as sure +as ferrets are ferrets! Oh! <i>you</i> have them!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m sorry—you dropped them, you know—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Picks up fan and gloves and patters off.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">She’ll chop off your head!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If you please sir—where am I?—won’t you please—tell me how to get +out—I want to get out—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Looking at his watch.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting.</p> + +<p>[<i>A trap door gives way and</i> <span class="smcap">Rabbit</span> <i>disappears.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>dashes after only +in time to have the trap door bang in her face.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Amazed.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a rabbit-hole—I’m small enough to fit it too! If I shrink any more +it might end in my going out altogether like a candle. I wonder what I +would be like then! What does the flame of a candle look like after the +candle is blown out? I’ve never seen such a thing!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Sits on the wall.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Don’t stand chattering to yourself like that, but tell me your name and +your business.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">My <i>name</i> is Alice, but—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a stupid name enough, what does it mean?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent"><i>Must</i> a name mean something?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course it must; <i>my</i> name means the shape I am—and a good, handsome +shape it is, too. With a name like yours, you might be any shape, almost.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’re Humpty Dumpty! Just like an egg.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s <i>very</i> provoking, to be called an egg—<i>very</i>.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I said you <i>looked</i> like an egg, Sir, and some eggs are very pretty, you +know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Some people have no more sense than a baby.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why do you sit here all alone?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why, because there’s nobody with me. Did you think I didn’t know the +answer to <i>that</i>? Ask another.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Don’t you think you’d be safer down on the ground? That wall’s so very +narrow.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What tremendously easy riddles you ask! Of course I don’t think so. Take a +good look at me! I’m one that has spoken to a king, I am; to show you I’m +not proud, you may shake hands with me!</p> + +<p>[<i>He leans forward to offer</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>his hand but she is too small to reach +it.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">However, this conversation is going on a little too fast; let’s go back to +the last remark but one.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m afraid I can’t remember it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">In that case we start fresh, and it’s my turn to choose a subject.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You talk about it just as if it were a game.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">So here’s a question for you. How old did you say you were?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Seven years and six months.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Wrong! You never said a word about it. Now if you’d asked <i>my</i> advice, I’d +have said, “Leave off at seven—but—”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I never ask advice about growing.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Too proud?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What a beautiful belt you’ve got on. At least, a beautiful cravat, I +should have said—no, a belt, I mean—I beg your pardon. If only I knew +which was neck and which was waist.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It is a—<i>most—provoking</i>—thing, when a person doesn’t know a cravat +from a belt.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I know it’s very ignorant of me.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a cravat, child, and a beautiful one, as you say. There’s glory for +you.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know what you mean by “glory.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more +nor less.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The question is, whether you <i>can</i> make words mean different things.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The question is, which is to be master—that’s all. Impenetrability! +That’s what I say!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Would you tell me, please, what that means?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I meant by “impenetrability” that we’ve had enough of that subject, and it +would be just as well if you’d mention what you mean to do next, as I +suppose you don’t mean to stop here all the rest of your life.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s a great deal to make one word mean.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">When I make a word do a lot of work like that I always pay it extra.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Ah, you should see ’em come round me of a Saturday night, for to get their +wages, you know. That’s all—Good-bye.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Good-bye till we meet again.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I shouldn’t know you again, if we <i>did</i> meet, you’re so exactly like other +people.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The face is what one goes by, generally.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s just what I complain of. Your face is the same as everybody +has—the two eyes—so—nose in the middle, mouth under. It’s always the +same. Now if you had the two eyes on the same side of the nose, for +instance—or the mouth at the top—that would be <i>some</i> help.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It wouldn’t look nice.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Wait till you’ve tried! Good-bye.</p> + +<p>[<i>He disappears as he came.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! I forgot to ask him how to—</p> + +<p>[<i>She tries to open the doors. They are all locked; she begins to weep. +She walks weeping to a high glass table and sits down on its lower ledge. +She sits on a big golden key and picks it up in surprise. She tries it on +all the doors but it does not fit. She weeps and weeps—and Wonderland +grows dark to her in her despair. In the darkness she cries, “Oh! I’m +slipping! Oh, Oh! it’s a lake; Oh! my tears! I’m floating!” A mysterious +light shows a “Drink me” sign around a bottle on the top of the table.</i> +<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>floats up to it panting, and holding on to the edge of the table +takes up the bottle.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It isn’t marked poison.</p> + +<p>[<i>She sips at it.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">This is good! Tastes like cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, +toffy and hot buttered toast—all together. Oh! Oh! I’m letting out like a +telescope.</p> + +<p>[<i>A mysterious light shows her lengthening out.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<i>Music.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">But the lake is rising too. Oh! Oh! it’s deep! I’m drowning. Help, help, +I’m drowning, I’m drowning in my tears!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Hjckrrh. Hjckrrh!</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Gryphon</span>, <i>a huge green creature with big glittering wings, appears +where</i> <span class="smcap">Humpty Dumpty</span> <i>had been and reaches glittering claws over to grab +and save</i> <span class="smcap">Alice.</span>]</p> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span></p> +<p class="center"><span class="big">SCENE FOUR</span></p> + +<p><i>Is symbolic of a wet and rocky shore in a weird green light. The</i> <span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span> <i>is weeping dismally.</i></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Hjckrrh. Hjckrrh. Hjckrrh.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Answers with his weeping.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Drags</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>in.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Drop your tears into the sea with his.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">He sobs as if he had a bone in his throat. He sighs as if his heart would +break. What is his sorrow?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, Gryphon, it’s terrible!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s all his fancy that. Mock Turtle hasn’t got no sorrow. This here young +lady, she wants for to know your history, she do.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ll tell it her. Sit down both of you, and don’t speak a word till I’ve +finished.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t see how you can <i>ever</i> finish, if you don’t begin.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Once, I was a real Turtle.</p> + +<p>[<i>A long silence is broken only by the exclamations, “Hjckrrh,” of the</i> +<span class="smcap">Gryphon</span> <i>and the heavy sobbing of the</i> <span class="smcap">Mock Turtle.</span>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">When we were little, we went to school in the sea. The master was an old +Turtle—we used to call him tortoise—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn’t one?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">We called him Tortoise because he taught us; really you are very dull.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question. +Drive on, old fellow! Don’t be all day about it!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, we went to school in the sea, tho’ you mayn’t believe it—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I never said I didn’t.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You did.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Hold your tongue!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">We had the best of educations—in fact, we went to school every day.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ve been to a day school too; you needn’t be so proud as all that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">With extras?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, we learned French and music.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And washing?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Certainly not!</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img07.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Ah! Then yours wasn’t a really good school. Now at <i>ours</i> they had at the +end of the bill, French, music, <i>and washing</i>—extra.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You couldn’t have wanted it much; living at the bottom of the sea.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I couldn’t afford to learn it, I only took the regular course.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What was that?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Reeling and writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different +branches of Arithmetic—Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I never heard of Uglification. What is it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Never heard of uglifying! You know what to beautify is, I suppose?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, it means—to—make—anything—prettier.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well then, if you don’t know what to uglify is, you <i>are</i> a simpleton.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What else had you to learn?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, there was Mystery; Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography, +then Drawling—the Drawling-master was an old conger eel, that used to +come once a week; what <i>he</i> taught us was Drawling, Stretching, and +Fainting in Coils.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What was <i>that</i> like?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, I can’t show it you, myself. I’m too stiff. And the Gryphon never learned it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Hadn’t time; I went to the Classical master, though. He was an old crab, <i>he</i> was.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I never went to him; he taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">So he did, so he did.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And how many hours a day did you do lessons?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Ten hours the first day, nine the next, and so on.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What a curious plan!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s the reason they’re called lessons, because they lessen from day to day.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then the eleventh day must have been a holiday?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course it was.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And how did you manage on the twelfth?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s enough about lessons, tell her something about the games now.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span> <i>sighs deeply, draws back of one flapper across his eyes. He +looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>and tries to speak but sobs choke his voice.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Punching him in the back.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Same as if he had a bone in his throat.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p>[<i>With tears running down his cheeks.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">You may not have lived much under the sea—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I haven’t.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I once tasted—no, never!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">So you can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No, indeed. What sort of a dance is it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why, you first form into a line along the seashore.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Two lines; seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then, when you’ve cleared +all the jellyfish out of the way—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent"><i>That</i> generally takes some time.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You advance twice—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Each with a lobster as a partner.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course, advance twice, set to partners.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Change lobsters, and retire in same order.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then you know, you throw the—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The lobsters!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">As far out to sea as you can—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Swim after them!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Turn a somersault in the sea.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Change lobsters again!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Back to land again, and—that’s all the first figure.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It must be a very pretty dance.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Would you like to see a little of it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Very much indeed.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Come, let’s try the first figure. We can do it without lobsters, you know; +which shall sing?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, <i>you</i> sing, I’ve forgotten the words.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span>[<i>Creatures solemnly dance round +and round</i> <span class="smcap">Alice,</span> <i>treading on her toes, +waving fore-paws to mark time while</i> <span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span> <i>sings.</i>]</p> + +<p class="poem"><span style="margin-left: 8em;">First Verse</span><br /> +“Will you walk a little faster!” said a whiting to a snail,<br /> +“There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail.<br /> +See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!<br /> +They are waiting on the shingle—will you come and join the dance?<br /> +Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance?<br /> +Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, won’t you join the dance?<br /> +<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 8em;">Second Verse</span><br /> +“You can really have no notion how delightful it will be<br /> +When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!”<br /> +But the snail replied, “Too far, too far!” and gave a look askance—<br /> +Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.<br /> +Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.<br /> +Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span>[<i>The creatures dance against</i> +<span class="smcap">Alice</span>, <i>pushing her back and forth between +them. She protests and finally escapes; they bump against each other.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Thank you; it’s a very interesting dance to watch, and I do so like that +curious song about the whiting.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, as to the whiting, they—you’ve seen them, of course?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, I’ve often seen them at din—</p> + +<p>[<i>Checks herself hastily.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know where Din may be, but if you’ve seen them so often, of course +you know what they’re like.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I believe so, they have their tails in their mouths—and they’re all over crumbs.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’re wrong about the crumbs, crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But +they <i>have</i> their tails in their mouths; and the reason is—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span>[<span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span> <i>yawns and shuts his eyes.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Tell her about the reason and all that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The reason is, that they <i>would</i> go with the lobsters to the dance. So +they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long way. So they got +their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn’t get them out again. +That’s all.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Thank you, it’s very interesting. I never knew so much about a whiting +before.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I can tell you more than that, if you like. Do you know why it’s called a whiting?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I never thought about it. Why?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent"><i>It does the boots and shoes.</i></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Does the boots and shoes!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why, what are <i>your</i> shoes done with? I mean, what makes them so shiny?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They’re done with blacking, I believe.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Boots and shoes under the sea, are done with whiting. Now you know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And what are they made of?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Soles and eels, of course; any shrimp could have told you that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If I’d been the whiting, I’d have said to the porpoise, “Keep back, +please; we don’t want <i>you</i> with us.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They were obliged to have him with them, no wise fish would go anywhere +without a porpoise.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Wouldn’t it really?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course not; why if a fish came to me and told me he was going a +journey, I should say, “With what porpoise?”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Don’t you mean purpose?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I mean what I say.</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img08.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille? Or would you like +the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, a song please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Um! No accounting for tastes! Sing her “Turtle Soup,” will you, old +fellow?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Sighs deeply and sometimes choked with sobs, sings.</i>]</p> + +<p class="poem">“Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,<br /> +Waiting in a hot tureen!<br /> +Who for such dainties would not stoop?<br /> +Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!<br /> +Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!<br /> +Beau—ootiful Soo—op,<br /> +Beau—ootiful Soo—oop,<br /> +Soo—oop of the e-e-evening,<br /> +Beautiful, beautiful Soup.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Enters, stretching out a red and white checked sash with which he +separates</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>from the creatures.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Check!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They won’t let her stay in our square.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The Queen is coming this way.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Gryphon</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She’ll chop our heads off. Come on, come on, let’s fly!</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Mock Turtle</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Gryphon</span> <i>grab</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>and fly into the air.</i>]</p> + +<p class="center"><br />CURTAIN</p> + +<p>[<i>The Curtain rises to reveal small silhouettes of the</i> <span class="smcap">Gryphon</span>, <span class="smcap">Mock +Turtle</span>, <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>in an orange-colored moon far away in the sky. Down +below the</i> <span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span> <i>is shouting to them, “You’ll be safe in the March +Hare’s garden.”</i>]</p> + +<p class="center">CURTAIN</p> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<hr style="width: 50%;" /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="ACT_II" id="ACT_II"></a>ACT II</h2> + +<p> </p> +<p class="center"><span class="big">SCENE</span></p> + +<p><i>The March Hare’s garden, showing part of the Duchess’ house. On a small +platform there is a tea table, set with many cups, continuing into wings +to give impression of limitless length.</i> <span class="smcap">The March Hare</span>, <span class="smcap">Hatter</span>, and +<span class="smcap">Dormouse</span> <i>are crowded at one end.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>sits on the ground where she has +been dropped from the sky. Finding herself not bruised she rises and +approaches the table.</i></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span> and <span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No room! No room!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There’s plenty of room!</p> + +<p>[<i>She sits in a large armchair at one end of the table.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know who you are.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I am the March Hare, that’s the Hatter, and this is the Dormouse. Have some wine?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t see any wine.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There isn’t any.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I didn’t know it was <i>your</i> table; it’s laid for a great many more than three.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Your hair wants cutting.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You should learn not to make personal remarks; it’s very rude.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why is a raven like a writing-desk?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Come, we shall have some fun now! I’m glad you’ve begun asking riddles—I +believe I can guess that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">So you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img09tmb.jpg" alt="" /><br /> +<a href="images/img09.jpg"><small>Larger Image</small></a></div> +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Hatter</span>: Your hair wants cutting.</p> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Exactly so.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then you should say what you mean.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I do; at least—at least I mean what I say—that’s the same thing, you +know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Not the same thing a bit! Why, you might just as well say that “I see what +I eat” is the same thing as, “I eat what I see!”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You might just as well say that “I like what I get,” is the same thing as +“I get what I like.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You might just as well say that “I breathe when I sleep” is the same thing +as “I sleep when I breathe.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It <i>is</i> the same thing with you.</p> + +<p>[<i>Takes out his watch, looks at it uneasily, shakes it, holds it to his ear.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span>What day of the month is it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The fourth.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Two days wrong. I told you butter wouldn’t suit the works!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It was the <i>best</i> butter.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well; you shouldn’t have put it +in with the bread-knife—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Takes the watch, looks at it gloomily, dips it into his cup of tea and +looks at it again but doesn’t know what else to say.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">It was the <i>best</i> butter, you know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What a funny watch! It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell what +o’clock it is.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why should it? Does <i>your</i> watch tell you what year it is?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course not, but that’s because it stays the same year for such a long +time together.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Which is just the case with <i>mine</i>.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t quite understand you. What you said had no sort of meaning in it +and yet it was certainly English.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Pouring some hot tea on the</i> <span class="smcap">Dormouse’s</span> <i>nose.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">The Dormouse is asleep again.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course, of course, just what I was going to remark myself.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Have you guessed the riddle yet?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No, I give it up, what’s the answer?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I haven’t the slightest idea.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nor I.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I think you might do something better with the time, than wasting it in +asking riddles that have no answers.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If you knew Time as well as I do, you wouldn’t talk about wasting <i>it</i>. +It’s <i>him</i>.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know what you mean.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course you don’t. I dare say you never even spoke to Time.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Perhaps not, but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Ah, that accounts for it. He won’t stand beating. Now, if you only kept on +good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For +instance, suppose it were nine o’clock in the morning, just time to begin +lessons. You’d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the +clock in a twinkling! Half past one, time for dinner.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I only wish it was.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That would be grand, certainly, but then—I shouldn’t be hungry for it, +you know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Not at first, perhaps, but you could keep it to half past one as long as +you liked.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Is that the way <i>you</i> manage?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Not I, we quarreled last March—just before <i>he</i> went mad, you know. It +was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts and I had to sing.</p> + +<p class="poem">“Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!<br /> +How I wonder what you’re at!”</p> + +<p class="dent">You know the song, perhaps.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ve heard something like it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, I’d hardly finished the first verse when the Queen bawled out, “He’s +murdering the time! Off with his head!”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How dreadfully savage!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And ever since that, he won’t do a thing I ask! It’s always six o’clock now.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Is that the reason so many tea things are put out here?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, that’s it; it’s always tea time, and we’ve no time to wash the things between whiles.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then you keep moving round, I suppose?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Exactly so, as the things get used up.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But when you come to the beginning again?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Suppose we change the subject. I vote the young lady tells us a story.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m afraid I don’t know one.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span> and <span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then the Dormouse shall. Wake up Dormouse.</p> + +<p>[<i>They pinch him on both sides at once.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Opens his eyes slowly and says in a hoarse, feeble voice.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I wasn’t asleep, I heard every word you fellows were saying.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Tell us a story.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, please do!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And be quick about it, or you’ll be asleep again before it’s done.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Once upon a time there were three little sisters, and their<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span> names were +Elsie, Lacie, and Tillie and they lived at the bottom of a well—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What did they live on?</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img10.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They lived on treacle.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They couldn’t have done that, you know, they’d have been ill.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">So they were, <i>very</i> ill.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But why did they live at the bottom of a well?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Take some more tea.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ve had nothing yet, so I can’t take more.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You mean, you can’t take <i>less</i>; it’s very easy to take <i>more</i> than nothing.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nobody asked <i>your</i> opinion.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Who’s making personal remarks now?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Helps herself to tea and bread and butter.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Why did they live at the bottom of a well?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Takes a minute or two to think.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">It was a treacle-well.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There’s no such thing!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span> and <span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Sh! Sh!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If you can’t be civil, you’d better finish the story for yourself.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Very humbly.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">No, please go on. I won’t interrupt you again. I dare say there may be <i>one</i>.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">One, indeed! And so these three little sisters—they were learning to draw, you know—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What did they draw?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Treacle.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I want a clean cup. Let’s all move one place on.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Hatter</span> <i>moves on,</i> <span class="smcap">Dormouse</span> <i>takes his place,</i> +<span class="smcap">March Hare</span> <i>takes</i> <span class="smcap">Dormouse’s</span> <i>place and</i> +<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>unwillingly takes</i> <span class="smcap">March Hare’s</span> <i>place.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m worse off than I was before. You’ve upset the milk jug into your plate.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Where did they draw the treacle from?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You can draw water out of a water well, so I should think you could draw +treacle out of a treacle well—eh, stupid?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But they were <i>in</i> the well.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course they were—well in. They were learning to draw, and they drew +all manner of things—everything that begins with an M—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why with an M?</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img11.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why not?</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>is silent and confused.</i> <span class="smcap">Hatter</span> <i>pinches</i> <span class="smcap">Dormouse</span> <i>to wake him +up.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Wakes with a little shriek and continues.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">—that begins with an M, such as mousetraps and the moon and memory and +muchness—you know you say things are “much of a muchness”—did you ever +see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Did you?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Really now you ask me, I don’t think—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then you shouldn’t talk.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Rises and walks away.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">You are very rude. It’s the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life—</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span> <i>enters carrying a huge envelope with a seal and crown on it.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span> and <span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No room! no room!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span>[<i>Rabbit pays no attention to them but goes to the house and raps loudly. +A footman in livery with a round face and large eyes like a frog and powdered hair opens the door.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">For the Duchess. An invitation from the Queen to play croquet.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span> <i>bows and goes out.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span> and <span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p>[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">White Rabbit.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent">No room! No room! No room!</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>disappears into the house but leaves the door open. There is +a terrible din and many sauce pans fly out.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She’s at it again.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s perfectly disgusting.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Let’s move on.</p> + +<p>[<i>The platform moves off with table, chairs,</i> <span class="smcap">March Hare,</span> +<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span><span class="smcap">Hatter,</span> <i>and</i> +<span class="smcap">Dormouse.</span> <i>Meanwhile the</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>has come out again and is sitting near the +closed door, staring stupidly at the sky.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>goes to the door timidly and knocks.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There’s no sort of use in knocking, and that for two reasons: first, +because I’m on the same side of the door as you are; secondly, because +they’re making such a noise inside, no one could possibly hear you.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Please then, how am I to get in?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There might be some sense in your knocking if we had the door between us. +For instance, if you were <i>inside</i>, you might knock, and I could let you +out, you know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How am I to get in?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I shall sit here, till tomorrow.</p> + +<p>[<i>The door opens and a large plate skims out straight at the</i> <span class="smcap">Frog’s</span> +<i>head; it grazes his nose and breaks into pieces.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>acts as if nothing had happened.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Or next day, maybe.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How am I to get in?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent"><i>Are</i> you to get in at all? That’s the first question, you know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s really dreadful the way all you creatures argue. It’s enough to drive one crazy.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I shall sit here, on and off, for days and days.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But what am I to do?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Anything you like.</p> + +<p>[<i>He begins to whistle.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Where’s the servant whose business it is to answer the door?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Which door?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent"><i>This</i> door, of course!</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>looks at the door, and rubs his thumb on it to see if the paint will come off.</i>]</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img12tmb.jpg" alt="" /><br /> +<a href="images/img12.jpg"><small>Larger Image</small></a></div> +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Frog</span>: I shall sit here till tomorrow.</p> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span></p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img13.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">To answer the door? What’s it been asking for?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know what you mean.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I speaks English, doesn’t I? Or are you deaf? What did it ask you?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nothing! I’ve been knocking at it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Shouldn’t do that—shouldn’t do that, vexes it, you know.</p> + +<p>[<i>He kicks the door.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">You let <i>it</i> alone, and it’ll let <i>you</i> alone, you know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, there’s no use talking to you—</p> + +<p>[<i>She starts to open the door just as the</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>comes out carrying a +pig in baby’s clothes. She sneezes</i>—<span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>sneezes and</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> +<i>sneezes.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If everybody minded her own business—</p> + +<p>[<i>She sneezes.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s pepper.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course, my cook puts it in the soup.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There’s certainly too much pepper in the soup.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Sneeze then and get rid of it!</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>begins to sing to the baby, giving it a violent shake at the end +of every line of the lullaby.</i>]</p> + +<p class="poem">“Speak roughly to your little boy,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And beat him when he sneezes;</span></p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>sneeze.</i>]</p> + +<p class="poem">He only does it to annoy,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Because he knows it teases.</span></p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>sneezes,</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>sneezes,</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>sneezes.</i>]</p> + +<p class="poem">I speak severely to my boy,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">I beat him when he sneezes;</span></p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>sneezes,</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>sneezes.</i>]</p> + +<p class="poem">For he can thoroughly enjoy<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The pepper when he pleases!”</span></p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>sneezes,</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>sneezes,</i> +<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>sneezes,</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>gasps and +gives a tremendous sneeze.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh dear!</p> + +<p>[<i>She jumps aside as kettles and pots come flying out of the door. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>pays no attention.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">What a cook to have!</p> + +<p>[<i>She calls inside.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! <i>please</i> mind what you’re doing!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span>[<i>Another pan comes out and almost hits the baby.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! there goes his <i>precious</i> nose!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If everybody minded her own business, the world would go round a deal +faster than it does.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Which would not be an advantage. Just think what work it would make with +the day and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn round +on its axis—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Talking of axes, chop off her head!</p> + +<p>[<i>The head of a grinning Cheshire cat appears in a tree above a wall.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, what’s that?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Cat, of course.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why does it grin like that?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a Cheshire cat! and that’s why. [<i>To baby.</i>] Pig!</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img14tmb.jpg" alt="" /><br /> +<a href="images/img14.jpg"><small>Larger Image</small></a></div> +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Duchess</span>: I speak severely to my boy,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 4em;">I beat him when he sneezes.</span></p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t know +that cats <i>could</i> grin.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They all can and most of ’em do.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know of any that do.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You don’t know much and that’s a fact. Here, you may nurse it a bit, if you like!</p> + +<p>[<i>Flings the baby at</i> <span class="smcap">Alice.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen.</p> + +<p>[<i>She goes into the house.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If I don’t take this child away with me, they’re sure to kill it in a day +or two. Cheshire Puss, would you tell me please, which way I ought to walk from here?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t much care where—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then it doesn’t matter which way you walk.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">So long as I get <i>somewhere</i>.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, you’re sure to do that, if you only walk long enough.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Please, will you tell me what sort of people live about here?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">All mad people.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But I don’t want to go among mad people.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, you can’t help that; we’re all mad here. I’m mad. He’s mad. He’s +dreaming now, and what do you think he’s dreaming about?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Goes to the</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>to scrutinize his face.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Nobody could guess that.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why, about you! And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you +suppose you’d be?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Where I am now, of course.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Not you. You’d be nowhere. Why, you’re only a sort of thing in his dream; +and you’re mad too.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How do you know I’m mad?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You must be, or you wouldn’t have come here.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How do you know that you’re mad?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">To begin with, a dog’s not mad. You grant that?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I suppose so.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well then, you see a dog growls when it’s angry, and wags its<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> tail when +it’s pleased. Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m +angry. Therefore I’m mad.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I call it purring, not growling.</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img15.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Call it what you like. Do you play croquet with the Queen today?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I should like it very much, but I haven’t been invited yet.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’ll see me there.</p> + +<p>[<i>Vanishes.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>To squirming baby.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, dear, it’s heavy and so ugly. Don’t grunt—Oh—Oh—it’s a—pig. Please +Mr. Footman take it!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Frog</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Rises with dignity, whistles and disappears into the house; a kettle +comes bounding out.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>puts pig down and it crawls off.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Appearing again.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">By-the-bye, what became of the baby?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It turned into a pig.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I thought it would.</p> + +<p>[<i>Vanishes.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span>[<span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>comes out of the house with hedgehogs and flamingoes.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Reappearing.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Did you say pig, or fig?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I said pig; and I wish you wouldn’t keep appearing and vanishing so +suddenly; you make one quite giddy.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">All right. [<i>It vanishes slowly.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>puts flamingoes down and reenters house. While</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>is examining +the flamingoes curiously,</i> <span class="smcap">Tweedledum</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Tweedledee,</span> <i>each with an arm +round the other’s neck, sidestep in and stand looking at</i> <span class="smcap">Alice.</span>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Turns, sees them, starts in surprise and involuntarily whispers.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Tweedle—dee.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Dum!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If you think we’re waxworks, you ought to pay.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Contrariwise, if you think we’re alive, you ought to speak.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The first thing in a visit is to say “How d’ye do?” and shake hands!</p> + +<p>[<i>The brothers give each other a hug, then hold out the two hands that are +free, to shake hands with her.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>does not like shaking hands with +either of them first, for fear of hurting the other one’s feelings; she +takes hold of both hands at once and they all dance round in a ring, quite +naturally to music, “Here we go round the mulberry bush.”</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Would you tell me which road leads out of—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What shall I repeat to her?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The “Walrus and the Carpenter” is the longest.</p> + +<p>[<i>Gives his brother an affectionate hug.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">The sun was shining—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If it’s very long, would you please tell me first which road—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">The moon was shining sulkily.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">The sea was wet as wet could be—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">O Oysters, come and walk with us<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">The Walrus did beseech—</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Dee.</span>]</p> + +<p class="poem">A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Along the briny beach—</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Dum.</span>]</p> + +<p class="poem">The eldest Oyster winked his eye<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And shook his heavy head—</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Looks at</i> <span class="smcap">Dee.</span>]</p> + +<p class="poem">Meaning to say he did not choose<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">To leave the oyster bed.</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">But four young Oysters hurried up<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And yet another four—</span></p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">And thick and fast they came at last,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And more, and more, and more—</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">The Walrus and the Carpenter<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Walked on a mile or so,</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">And then they rested on a rock<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Conveniently low,</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">And all the little Oysters stood<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And waited in a row.</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">“A loaf of bread,” the Walrus said,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">“Is what we chiefly need.</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">Now if you’re ready, Oysters dear,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">We can begin to feed.”</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">“But not on us!” the Oysters cried,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Turning a little blue.</span></p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">“The night is fine,” the Walrus said,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">“Do you admire the view?”</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">The Carpenter said nothing but<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">“Cut us another slice.</span><br /> +I wish you were not quite so deaf—<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">I’ve had to ask you twice!”</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">“It seems a shame,” the Walrus said,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">“To play them such a trick,</span><br /> +After we’ve brought them out so far,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And made them trot so quick!”</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">“O, Oysters,” said the Carpenter,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">“You’ve had a pleasant run!</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">Shall we be trotting home again?”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">But answer came there none—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p class="poem">And this was scarcely odd, because</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p class="poem">They’d eaten every—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Interrupts in a passion, pointing to a white rattle on the ground.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Do you see <i>that</i>?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s only a rattle—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dum</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Stamps wildly and tears his hair.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I knew it was! It’s spoilt of course. My nice new rattle!</p> + +<p>[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Dee.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent">You agree to have a battle?</p> + +<p>[<i>He collects sauce pans and pots.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dee</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Picks up a sauce pan.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I suppose so. Let’s fight till dinner.</p> + +<p>[<i>They go out hand in hand.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Hears music.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I wonder what is going to happen next.</p> + +<p>[<i>She backs down stage respectfully as the</i> <span class="smcap">King</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Queen of Hearts</span> +<i>enter, followed by the</i> <span class="smcap">Knave of Hearts</span> <i>carrying the</i> <span class="smcap">King’s</span> <i>crown on a +crimson velvet cushion, and the</i> <span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span> <i>and others. When they come +opposite to</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>they stop and look at her.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>comes out of her house.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>To the</i> <span class="smcap">Knave.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Who is this?</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img16.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Bows three times, smiles and giggles.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Idiot! What’s your name, child?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">My name is Alice, so please your Majesty.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Off with her head! Off—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nonsense!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Consider, my dear, she is only a child.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Can you play croquet?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Come on then. Get to your places. Where are the mallets?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Here.</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>appears with the flamingoes and hedgehogs.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Off with his head!</p> + +<p>[<i>No one pays any attention.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What fun!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What is the fun?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why she; it’s all her fancy, that. They never execute anyone.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What does one do?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Get to your places!</p> + +<p>[<i>She takes a flamingo, uses its neck as a mallet and a hedgehog as a +ball. The</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>doubles himself into an arch. The</i> <span class="smcap">King</span> <i>does the same +with the followers and the</i> <span class="smcap">Knave</span> <i>offers himself as an arch for</i> <span class="smcap">Alice.</span> +<i>Even though</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>does not notice him he holds the arch position. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Queen</span> <i>shouts at intervals, “Off with his head, off with her head.”</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Where are the Chess Queens?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Under sentence of execution.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What for?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Did you say, “what a pity”?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No, I didn’t. I don’t think it’s at all a pity. I said, “What for?”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They boxed the Queen’s ears.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>gives a little scream of laughter.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, hush! The Queen will hear you! You see they came rather late and the +Queen said—Oh dear, the Queen hears me—</p> + +<p>[<i>He hurries away.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Noticing the</i> <span class="smcap">Knave</span> <i>who still pretends to be an arch.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">How <i>can</i> you go on thinking so quietly, with your head downwards?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What does it matter where my body happens to be? My mind goes on working +just the same. The fact of it is, the more head downwards I am, the more I +keep on inventing new things.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Did you happen to meet any soldiers, my dear, as you came through the wood?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, I did; several thousand I should think.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Four thousand, two hundred and seven, that’s the exact number. They +couldn’t send all the horses, you know, because two of them are wanted in +the game. And I haven’t sent the two messengers, either.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What’s the war about?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The red Chess King has the whole army against us but he can’t kill a man +who has thirteen hearts.</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess, Queen, Frog,</span> <i>and followers go out. The</i> <span class="smcap">Knave</span> <i>and the</i> +<span class="smcap">Five-Spot, Seven-Spot,</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Nine-Spot of Hearts</span> <i>stand behind the</i> <span class="smcap">King.</span>]</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img17tmb.jpg" alt="" /><br /> +<a href="images/img17.jpg"><small>Larger Image</small></a></div> +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">King</span>: I only wish I had such eyes; to be able to see Nobody!</p> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Just look along the road and tell me if you can see either of my messengers.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I see nobody on the road.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I only wish I had such eyes; to be able to see Nobody! And at that +distance too! Why, it’s as much as I can do to see real people, by this light.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I see somebody now! But he’s coming very slowly—and what curious +attitudes he goes into—skipping up and down, and wriggling like an eel.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Not at all, those are Anglo-Saxon attitudes. He only does them when he’s +happy. I must have two messengers, you know—to come and go. One to come and one to go.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I beg your pardon?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It isn’t respectable to beg.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I only meant that I didn’t understand. Why one to come and one to go?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Don’t I tell you? I must have two—to fetch and carry. One to fetch, and +one to carry.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Enters, pants for breath—waves his hands about and makes fearful faces +at the</i> <span class="smcap">King.</span>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You alarm me! I feel faint—give me a ham sandwich. Another sandwich!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There’s nothing but hay left now.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Hay, then. There’s nothing like eating hay when you’re faint.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I should think throwing cold water over you would be better.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I didn’t say there was nothing <i>better</i>; I said there was nothing <i>like</i> it.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Who did you pass on the road?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nobody.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Quite right; this young lady saw him too. So of course Nobody walks slower than you.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I do my best; I’m sure nobody walks much faster than I do.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">He can’t do that; or else he’d have been here first. However, now you’ve +got your breath, you may tell us what’s happened in the town.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ll whisper it.</p> + +<p>[<i>Much to</i> <span class="smcap">Alice’s</span> <i>surprise, he shouts into the</i> <span class="smcap">King’s</span> <i>ear.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">They’re at it again!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Do you call <i>that</i> a whisper? If you do such a thing again, I’ll have you +buttered. It went through and through my head like an earthquake. Give me details, quick!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">King</span> +<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">March Hare</span> <i>go out, followed by</i> <span class="smcap">Five, Seven,</span> +<i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Nine Spots.</span>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Runs in and tucks her arm affectionately into</i> <span class="smcap">Alice’s.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent">You can’t think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’re thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you forget to +talk. I can’t tell you just now what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Perhaps it hasn’t one.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Tut, tut, child! Everything’s got a moral, if only you can find it.</p> + +<p>[<i>Squeezes closely, digs her chin into</i> <span class="smcap">Alice’s</span> <i>shoulder, and roughly +drags</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>along for a walk.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The game’s going on rather better now.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">’Tis so, and the moral of that is—“Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love, that makes +the world go round!”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Somebody said, that it’s done by everybody minding their own business.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Ah, well! It means much the same thing, and the moral of <i>that</i> is—“Take +care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How fond you are of finding morals in things.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I daresay you’re wondering why I don’t put my arm round your waist. The +reason is, that I’m doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">He might bite.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Very true; flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that +is—“Birds of a feather flock together.”</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Only mustard isn’t a bird.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Right, as usual; what a clear way you have of putting things.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a mineral, I <i>think</i>.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course it is; there’s a large mustard mine near here. And the moral of +that is—“The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! I know, it’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like one, but it is.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I quite agree with you, and the moral of that is—“Be what you would seem +to be;” or, if you’d like it put more simply, “Never imagine yourself not +to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or +might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have +appeared to them to be otherwise.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I think I should understand that better if I had it written down, but I +can’t quite follow it as you say it.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s nothing to what I could say if I chose.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, don’t talk about trouble; I make you a present of everything I’ve said as yet.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Uhm!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Thinking again?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’ve got a right to think.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Just about as much right as pigs have to fly, and the moral—</p> + +<p>[<i>The arm of the</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>begins to tremble and her voice dies down. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Queen of Hearts</span> <i>stands before them with folded arms and frowning like a +thunderstorm.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">A fine day, your Majesty.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Now, I give you fair warning, either you or your head must be off, and +that in about half no time. Take your choice!</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>goes meekly into the house.</i>]</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img18.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Let’s go on with the game.</p> + +<p>[<i>She goes off and shouts at intervals, “Off with his head; off with her head.”</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How are you getting on?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s no use speaking to you till your ears have come. I don’t think they +play at all fairly and they all quarrel so and they don’t seem to have any +rules in particular. And you’ve no idea how confusing it is with all the +things alive; there’s the arch I’ve got to go through next walking about +at the other end of the ground—and I should have croqueted the Queen’s +hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw mine coming.</p> + +<p>[<i>Music begins.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How do you like the Queen?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Not at all; she’s so extremely—</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">King, Queen</span> <i>and entire court enter. The</i> <span class="smcap">Queen</span> <i>is near to</i> <span class="smcap">Alice.</span> +<i>The music stops and all look at</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>questioningly.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>tries to propitiate the</i> <span class="smcap">Queen.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent">—likely to win,</p> + +<p>[<i>Music continues.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Queen</span> <i>smiles and passes on.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Who <i>are</i> you talking to?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a friend of mine—a Cheshire Cat—allow me to introduce it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t like the look of it at all; however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’d rather not.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Don’t be impertinent and don’t look at me like that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">A cat may look at a king. I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t +remember where.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, it must be removed. My dear! I wish you would have this cat removed.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Off with his head!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But you can’t cut off a head unless there’s a body to cut it off from.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Anything that has a head can be beheaded.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If something isn’t done about it in less than no time, I’ll have everybody +executed, all round.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It belongs to the Duchess; you’d better ask her about it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a lie!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Cat</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’d better ask me. Do it if you can.</p> + +<p>[<i>It grins away. The</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Frog</span> <i>escape into the house.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Cut it off!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s gone.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Everybody</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s gone! It’s gone! Where, where, where—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Cut it off. Cut them all off!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Everybody</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No, no, no!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Save me, save me!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Shouts to</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>and gives her a tart for safety.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Take a tart!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Seeing</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>stand out a moment from the others.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Cut hers off! Cut hers off!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Others</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Glad to distract</i> <span class="smcap">Queen’s</span> <i>attention from themselves.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Cut hers off, cut hers off, cut—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Cries in fear and takes a quick bite at the tart. If there is a trap +door on the stage</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>disappears down it, leaving the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span> crowd circling +around the hole screaming and amazed. If the stage has no trap door, a +bridge is built across the footlights with stairs leading down into the +orchestra pit. When the crowd is chasing</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>she jumps over the +footlights onto the bridge and as the curtain is falling dividing her from +the crowd she appeals to the audience, “Save me, save me, who will save +me?” and runs down the stairs and disappears.</i>]</p> + +<p class="center">CURTAIN</p> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<hr style="width: 50%;" /> +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span></p> +<h2><a name="ACT_III" id="ACT_III"></a>ACT III</h2> + +<p> </p> +<p class="center"><span class="big">SCENE ONE</span></p> + +<p><i>Is a garden of high, very conventional and artificial looking flowers. On +a large mushroom sits the</i> <span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span> <i>smoking a hookah.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>is +whirling about trying to get her equilibrium after her fall. She goes to +the mushroom timidly and, conscious of her size, for her chin reaches the +top of the mushroom, she gazes at the</i> <span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span> <i>wonderingly. He looks +at her lazily and speaks in a languid voice.</i></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Who are you?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I—I hardly know, sir, just at present. The Queen frightened me so and +I’ve had an awfully funny fall down a tunnel or a sort of well. At least I +know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been +changed several times since then.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What do you mean by that? Explain yourself.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir, because I’m not myself, you see. +Being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img19.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You! Who are you?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I think you ought to tell me who you are, first.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why?</p> + +<p>[<i>As</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>turns away.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Come back. I’ve something important to say.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>comes back.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Keep your temper.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Is that all?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No.</p> + +<p>[<i>He puffs at the hookah in silence; finally takes it out of his mouth and +unfolds his arms.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">So you think you’re changed, do you?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m afraid I am, Sir; I don’t keep the same size.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What size do you want to be?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know. At least I’ve never been so small as a caterpillar.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Rears angrily.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">It is a very good height indeed.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But I’m not used to it; I wish you wouldn’t all be so easily offended.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’ll get used to it in time.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Are you too big or am I too small?</p> + +<p>[<i>She compares her height wonderingly with the tall flowers.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Looks at her sleepily, yawns, shakes himself, slides down from the +mushroom and crawls slowly away.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">One side of what? The other side of what?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Caterpillar</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of the mushroom.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span>[<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>hesitates, +then embraces mushroom and picks bit from each side.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<i>Three gardeners representing spades enter carrying brushes and red paint cans.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Two-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Look out now, Five. Don’t go splashing paint over me like that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Five-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I couldn’t help it. Seven jogged my elbow.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Seven-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s right, Five, always lay the blame on others.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Five-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’d better not talk. I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Two-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What for?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Seven-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s none of your business, Two.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Five-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Yes, it is his business, and I’ll tell him. It was for bringing the cook tulip roots instead of onions.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Seven-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, of all the unjust things—</p> + +<p>[<i>Sees</i> <span class="smcap">Alice;</span> <i>others look around, all bow.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Could you please tell me what side to eat?</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Five</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Seven</span> <i>look at</i> <span class="smcap">Two.</span>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Two-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know anything about it.</p> + +<p>[<i>He paints a white rose, red.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">You ought to have been red, we put you in by mistake, and if the Queen was +to find it out we should all have our heads cut off.</p> + +<p>[<i>A thumping is heard off stage and the music grows louder and louder.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What’s that?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Five-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The White Chess Queen.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Seven-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Don’t let her see what we are doing.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Two-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She’ll tell on us.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Seven-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Run out and stop her from coming here.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Five-Spot</span></p> + +<p>[<i>To</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>as she runs to the right.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">No, no, the other way.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But she’s off there!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Two-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You can only meet her by walking the other way.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh! what nonsense.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">All the Gardeners</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Go the other way!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Re-enters in dismay and dashes out to the left.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">She’s running away from me.</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">White Queen</span> <i>backs in from right and</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>backs in from left. +They meet. The gardeners cry “The Queen” and throw themselves flat upon +the ground; their backs are like the backs of the rest of the pack. Music +stops.</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>looks at the</i> <span class="smcap">Queen</span> <i>curiously.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Oh, there you are! Why, I’m just the size I was when I saw you last.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course you are, and who are these? I can’t tell them by their backs.</p> + +<p>[<i>She turns them over with her foot.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Turn over. Ah! I thought so! Get up! What have you been doing here?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Two-Spot</span></p> + +<p class="dent">May it please your Majesty, we were trying—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Examines rose.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I see! Begone, or I’ll send the horses after you, and tell the Queen of Hearts.</p> + +<p>[<span class="smcap">Gardeners</span> <i>rush off. The</i> <span class="smcap">Red Queen</span> <i>enters.</i> +<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>has gone to the mushroom again to look at its sides and there to her amazement +finds a gold crown and scepter, which she immediately appropriates. Music. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Queens</span> <i>watch</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>superciliously.</i> +<span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>puts on her crown, proudly exclaiming in great elation, “Queen Alice,” +and walks down stage bowing right and left to the homage of imaginary subjects. She repeats as if +scarcely daring to believe it true, “Queen Alice.” Music stops.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Ridiculous!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Isn’t this the Eighth Square?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You can’t be a Queen, you know, till you’ve passed the proper examination.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The sooner we begin it, the better.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Please, would you tell me—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Speak when you’re spoken to.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But if everybody obeyed that rule, and if you only spoke when you were +spoken to, and the other person always waited for you to begin, you see +nobody would ever say anything, so that—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Preposterous.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I only said “if.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She says she only said “if.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Moans and wrings her hands.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">But she said a great deal more than that. Ah, yes, so much more than that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">So you did, you know; always speak the truth—think before you speak—and +write it down afterwards.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m sure I didn’t mean—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s just what I complained of. You <i>should</i> have meant! What do you +suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have +some meaning—and a child’s more important than a joke, I hope. You +couldn’t deny that, even if you tried with both hands.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t deny things with my <i>hands</i>.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nobody said you did. I said you couldn’t if you tried.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She’s in that state of mind, that she wants to deny <i>something</i>—only she +doesn’t know what to deny!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">A nasty, vicious temper. I invite you to Alice’s dinner party this afternoon.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">And I invite <i>you</i>.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I didn’t know I was to have a party at all; but if there is to be one, I +think I ought to invite the guests.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">We gave you the opportunity of doing it, but I dare say you’ve not had +many lessons in manners yet.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Manners are not taught in lessons; lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Can you do addition? What’s one and one and one and one and one and one +and one and one and one and one?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t know. I lost count.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She can’t do addition; can you do subtraction? Take nine from eight.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nine from eight I can’t, you know, but—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She can’t do subtraction. Can you do division? Divide a loaf by a +knife—what’s the answer to that?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I suppose—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Answers for her.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Bread and butter, of course. Try another subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog; what remains?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The bone wouldn’t remain, of course, if I took it—and the dog wouldn’t +remain; it would come to bite me—and I’m sure I shouldn’t remain.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then you think nothing would remain?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I think that’s the answer.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Wrong as usual; the dog’s temper would remain.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But I don’t see how—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Why, look here; the dog would lose its temper, wouldn’t it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Perhaps it would.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They might go different ways! What dreadful nonsense we <i>are</i> talking.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Both Queens</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She can’t do sums a bit!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Can <i>you</i> do sums?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I can do addition, if you give me time—but I can’t do <i>subtraction</i> under +<i>any</i> circumstances.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course you know your A, B, C?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">To be sure I do.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">So do I; we’ll often say it over together, dear. And I’ll tell you a +secret—I can read words of one letter. Isn’t that grand? However, don’t +be discouraged. You’ll come to it in time.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Can you answer useful questions? How is bread made?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I know <i>that</i>! You take some flour—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Where do you pick the flower? In a garden or in the hedges?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, it isn’t <i>picked</i> at all. It’s ground—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How many acres of ground? You mustn’t leave out so many things.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Fan her head! She’ll be feverish after so much thinking.</p> + +<p>[<i>They fan her with bunches of leaves which blow her hair wildly.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Please—please—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She’s all right again now. Do you know languages? What’s the French for fiddle-de-dee?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Fiddle-de-dee’s not English.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Who ever said it was?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If you tell me what language fiddle-de-dee is, I’ll tell you the French for it!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Queens never make bargains!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I wish Queens never asked questions!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Don’t let us quarrel; what is the cause of lightning?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The cause of lightning is the thunder—no, no! I meant the other way.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s too late to correct it; when you’ve once said a thing, that fixes it, +and you must take the consequences.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">We had <i>such</i> a thunderstorm next Tuesday, you can’t think.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She <i>never</i> could, you know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Part of the roof came off, and ever so much thunder got in—and it went +rolling round the room in great lumps—and knocking over the tables and +things—till I was so frightened, I couldn’t remember my own name!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I never should <i>try</i> to remember my name in the middle of an accident. +Where would be the use of it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You must excuse her. She means well, but she can’t help saying foolish +things, as a general rule. She never was really well brought up, but it’s +amazing how good tempered she is! Pat her on the head, and see how pleased +she’ll be! A little kindness and putting her hair in papers would do +wonders with her.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Gives a deep sigh and leans her head on</i> <span class="smcap">Alice’s</span> <i>shoulder.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I <i>am</i> so sleepy!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She’s tired, poor thing; smooth her hair—lend her your night cap—and +sing her a soothing lullaby.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I haven’t got a night cap with me, and I don’t know any soothing lullabies.</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img20tmb.jpg" alt="" /><br /> +<a href="images/img20.jpg"><small>Larger Image</small></a></div> +<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Alice</span>: Do wake up, you heavy things!</p> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Red Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I must do it myself, then.</p> + +<p class="poem"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span> +Hush-a-by lady, in Alice’s lap!<br /> +Till the feast’s ready, we’ve time for a nap;<br /> +When the feast’s over, we’ll go to the ball—<br /> +Red Queen and White Queen and Alice and all!</p> + +<p class="dent">And now you know the words.</p> + +<p>[<i>She puts her head on</i> <span class="smcap">Alice’s</span> <i>other shoulder.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Just sing it through to <i>me</i>. I’m getting sleepy too.</p> + +<p>[<i>Both queens fall fast asleep and snore loudly.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What <i>am</i> I to do? Take care of two Queens asleep at once? Do wake up, you heavy things!</p> + +<p>[<i>All lights go out, leaving a mysterious glow on</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>and the queens.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Blows trumpet off stage.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">The trial’s beginning!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What trial is it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Who stole the tarts.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I ate a tart.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’ve got to be tried.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I don’t want to be tried.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’ve got to be tried.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I won’t be tried—I won’t-I won’t!</p> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<p class="center"><span class="big">SCENE TWO</span></p> + +<p><i>Is a court room suggesting playing cards. The jurymen are all kinds of +creatures. The</i> <span class="smcap">King</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Queen of Hearts</span> <i>are seated on the throne. The</i> +<span class="smcap">Knave</span> <i>is before them in chains. The</i> <span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span> <i>has a trumpet in one +hand, and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the middle of the court +stands a table with a large dish of tarts upon it.</i></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Blows three blasts on his trumpet.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Silence in the court!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Watches jurymen writing busily on their slates.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">What are they doing? They can’t have anything to put down yet, before the +trial’s begun.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p class="dent">They’re putting down their names for fear they should forget them before +the end of the trial.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Stupid things!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Silence in the court!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Jurors</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Write in chorus.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Stupid things!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">One Juror</span></p> + +<p class="dent">How do you spell stupid?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">A nice muddle their slates will be in before the trial’s over.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There’s a pencil squeaking. Cut it down!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Jurors</span></p> + +<p>[<i>In chorus as they write.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Squeaking—</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Wears a crown over his wig; puts on his spectacles as he says.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Herald, read the accusation!</p> + +<p> </p> +<div class="figcenter"><img src="images/img21.jpg" alt="" /></div> +<p> </p> + +<p><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Blows three blasts on his trumpet, unrolls parchment scroll and reads to music.</i>]</p> + +<p class="poem"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span> +The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">All on a summer day;</span><br /> +The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And took them quite away!</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Consider your verdict!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Not yet, not yet; there’s a great deal to come before that.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Call the first witness.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">First witness!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Comes in with a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread and butter in +the other.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I beg your pardon, your Majesty, for bringing these in, but I hadn’t quite +finished my tea when I was sent for.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You ought to have finished; when did you begin?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Looks at the</i> <span class="smcap">March Hare</span>, <i>who follows him arm-in-arm with the</i> +<span class="smcap">Dormouse.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span>Fourteenth of March, I <i>think</i> it was.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Fifteenth.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Sixteenth.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Write that down.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Jury</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Fourteen, fifteen, sixteen—forty-five. Reduce that to shillings—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Take off your hat.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It isn’t mine.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent"><i>Stolen!</i></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Jury</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Stolen!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I keep them to sell. I’ve none of my own. I’m a hatter.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Queen of Hearts</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Puts on her spectacles and stares at</i> <span class="smcap">Hatter,</span> <i>who fidgets +uncomfortably.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Give your evidence and don’t be nervous, or I’ll have you executed on the spot.</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Hatter</span> <i>continues to shift nervously from one foot to the other, +looks uneasily at the</i> <span class="smcap">Queen</span><i>, trembles so that he shakes off both of his +shoes, and in his confusion bites a large piece out of his teacup instead +of the bread and butter.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m a poor man, your Majesty, and I hadn’t but just begun my tea—not +above a week or so—and what with the bread and butter getting so +thin—and the twinkling of the tea—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The twinkling of <i>what</i>?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It began with the tea.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Of course twinkling begins with a T. Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’m a poor man and most things twinkled after that—only the March Hare said—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I didn’t!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You did.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">March Hare</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I deny it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">He denies it; leave out that part.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But what did the Dormouse say?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That I can’t remember.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You <i>must</i> remember or I’ll have you executed.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Drops teacup and bread and butter and goes down on one knee.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span>I’m a poor man, your Majesty.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If that’s all you know about it you may stand down.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I can’t go no lower; I’m on the floor as it is.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then you may sit down.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Hatter</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I’d rather finish my tea.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You may go.</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Hatter</span> <i>goes out hurriedly, leaving one of his shoes behind.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Nonchalantly to an officer.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">And just take his head off outside.</p> + +<p>[<i>But the</i> <span class="smcap">Hatter</span> <i>was out of sight before the officer could get to the door.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Call the next witness!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Next witness!</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>enters with a pepper pot, which she shakes about. +Everybody begins to sneeze.</i> <span class="smcap">March Hare</span> <i>sneezes and rushes out.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Give your evidence!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Shan’t!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Your Majesty must cross-examine <i>this</i> witness.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Well, if I must, I must. What does your cook say tarts are made of?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Duchess</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Pepper.</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>shakes the pot and the court sneezes.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Dormouse</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Treacle!</p> + +<p>[<i>The</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>shakes the pot at him. He sneezes for the first time.</i>]</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Collar the Dormouse! Behead the Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! +Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his whiskers!</p> + +<p>[<i>The whole court is in confusion, turning the</i> <span class="smcap">Dormouse</span> <i>out, and while +it is settling down again the</i> <span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>disappears.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">The Duchess!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Court</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She’s gone—she’s gone.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Never mind!</p> + +<p>[<i>In a low tone to the</i> <span class="smcap">Queen.</span>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Really, my dear, <i>you</i> must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes +my forehead ache! Call the next witness!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Fumbles with the parchment, then cries in a shrill little voice.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Alice!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Here!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What do you know about this business?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Nothing whatever.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p>[<i>To the jury.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">That’s very important.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent"><i>Un</i>important, your Majesty means, of course.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent"><i>Un</i>important, of course I meant. Important—unimportant—unimportant—important. Consider your verdict!</p> + +<p>[<i>Some of the jury write “important” and some write “unimportant.”</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">There’s more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty; this paper has just been picked up.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">What’s in it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Fumbles with a huge envelope.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span>I haven’t opened it yet, but it seems to be a letter, written by the +prisoner to—to somebody.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It must have been that unless it was written to nobody, which isn’t usual, you know.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Who is it directed to?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It isn’t directed at all; in fact, there’s nothing written on the <i>outside</i>.</p> + +<p>[<i>Takes out a tiny piece of paper.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">It isn’t a letter at all; it’s a set of verses.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Are they in the prisoner’s handwriting?</p> + +<p>[<i>The jury brightens up.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Looks at the</i> <span class="smcap">Knave’s</span> <i>hand.</i> <span class="smcap">Knave</span> <i>hides his hand; the chains +rattle.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">No, they’re not, and that’s the queerest thing about it.</p> + +<p>[<i>The jury looks puzzled.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">He must have imitated somebody else’s hand!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Please, your Majesty, I didn’t write it and they can’t prove I did; +there’s no name signed at the end.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If you didn’t sign it that only makes the matter worse. You <i>must</i> have +meant some mischief, or else you’d have signed your name like an honest man.</p> + +<p>[<i>At this there is a general clapping of hands.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That <i>proves</i> his guilt.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It proves nothing of the sort! Why, you don’t even know what they’re about.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Read them!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Puts on his monocle.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end, then stop.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">White Rabbit</span></p> + +<p class="poem">“They told me you had been to her,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">And mentioned me to him;</span><br /> +She gave me a good character,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">But said I could not swim.</span><br /> +<br /> +“I gave her one, they gave him two,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">You gave us three or more;</span><br /> +They all returned from him to you,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Though they were mine before.</span><br /> +<br /> +“My notion was that you had been<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">(Before she had this fit)</span><br /> +An obstacle that came between<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Him, and ourselves, and it.</span><br /> +<br /> +“Don’t let him know she liked him best,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">For this must ever be</span><br /> +A secret, kept from all the rest,<br /> +<span style="margin-left: 1em;">Between yourself and me.”</span></p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">That’s the most important piece of evidence we’ve heard yet; so now let +the jury—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If anyone of them can explain it, I’ll give him sixpence. I don’t believe +there’s an atom of meaning in it.</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Jury</span></p> + +<p class="dent">She doesn’t believe there’s an atom of meaning in it.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">If there’s no meaning in it, that saves a world of trouble, you know, as +we needn’t try to find any. And yet I don’t know.</p> + +<p>[<i>Spreads out the verses on his knee and studies them.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">I seem to see some meaning after all. “Said I could not swim.” You can’t +swim, can you?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Knave</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Shakes his head sadly and points to his suit.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Do I look like it?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">All right, so far; “We know it to be true,” that’s the jury, of course; “I +gave her one, they gave him two” why that must be what he did with the +tarts, you know—</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">But it goes on “they all returned from <i>him</i> to <i>you</i>.”</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Triumphantly pointing to the tarts.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Why, there they are! Nothing can be clearer than that. Then again, “before +she had this fit,” you never had fits, my dear, I think?</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Never!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Then the words don’t <i>fit</i> you.</p> + +<p>[<i>There is dead silence, while the</i> <span class="smcap">King</span> <i>looks around at the court with a +smile.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">It’s a pun!</p> + +<p>[<i>Everybody laughs. Music.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">King</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Let the jury consider their verdict.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">No, no! Sentence first—verdict afterwards.</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Stuff and nonsense!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Furiously.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Hold your tongue!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">I won’t!</p> + +<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Off with her head!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Who cares for you?</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Queen</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Cut it off!</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p class="dent">You’re nothing but a pack of cards!</p> + +<p>[<i>As lights go out and curtain falls all the characters hold their positions as if petrified.</i>]</p> + +<p class="center">CURTAIN</p> + + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<p class="center"><span class="big">SCENE THREE</span></p> + +<p>[<i>The curtain rises to show</i> <span class="smcap">Alice</span> <i>still asleep in the armchair, the fire +in the grate suffusing her with its glow.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Carroll</span></p> + +<p class="dent">Wake up, Alice, it is time for tea.</p> + +<p>[<i>Off stage the characters repeat their most characteristic lines, “Off +with her head,” “Consider your verdict,” “Oh! my fur and whiskers”; the</i> +<span class="smcap">Duchess</span> <i>sneezes, the cat cries,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span> as if the characters were fading away +into the pack of real playing cards which shower through the mirror all +over</i> <span class="smcap">Alice.</span> <i>There is music.</i>]</p> + +<p><br /><span class="smcap">Alice</span></p> + +<p>[<i>Wakes, rises, and looks about in surprise and wonderment.</i>]</p> + +<p class="dent">Why——it was a dream!</p> + +<p class="center">CURTAIN</p> + +<p> </p><p> </p> +<hr style="width: 50%;" /> +<p><a name="title" id="title"></a>Text of title page:</p> + +<p class="center">Alice<br />in<br />Wonderland</p> +<p class="center">A dramatization of Lewis Carroll’s<br /> +“Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” and<br /> +“Through the Looking Glass”</p> + +<p class="center">by<br />Alice Gerstenberg<br /> +Author of<br /> +“The Conscience of Sarah Platt”,<br /> +“Unquenched Fire,” “A Little World,” etc.</p> + +<p class="center">Chicago<br />A.C.Mc.Clurg & Co.<br />1915</p> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Alice in Wonderland, by Alice Gerstenberg + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ALICE IN WONDERLAND *** + +***** This file should be named 35688-h.htm or 35688-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/6/8/35688/ + +Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images +generously made available by The Internet Archive.) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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