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diff --git a/35443.txt b/35443.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c3ebab5 --- /dev/null +++ b/35443.txt @@ -0,0 +1,16677 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Lost Lenore, by Charles Beach + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Lost Lenore + The Adventures of a Rolling Stone + +Author: Charles Beach + +Editor: Mayne Reid + +Release Date: March 1, 2011 [EBook #35443] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOST LENORE *** + + + + +Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England + + + + +Lost Lenore +The Adventures of a Rolling Stone +By Charles Beach, edited Mayne Reid +Published by Charles J. Skeet, 10 King William Street, London. +This edition dated 1864. + +Volume One, Chapter I. + +FAMILY AFFAIRS. + +The first important event of my life transpired on the 22nd May, 1831. +On that day I was born. + +Six weeks after, another event occurred which no doubt exerted an +influence over my destiny: I was christened Rowland Stone. + +From what I have read of ancient history--principally as given by the +Jews--I have reason to think, that I am descended from an old and +illustrious family. No one can refute the evidence I have for believing +that some of my ancestors were in existence many hundred years ago. + +The simple fact that I am in existence now is sufficient proof that my +family is of a descent, ancient and noble, as that of any other on +earth. + +Perhaps there is no family, in its wanderings and struggles towards +remotest posterity, that has not experienced every vicissitude of +fortune; sometimes standing in the ranks of the great; and in the lapse +of ages descending to the lower strata of the social scale, and there +becoming historically lost. + +I have not yet found it recorded, that any individual of the family to +which I belong ever held a very high position--not, in fact, since one +of them named Noah constructed a peculiar kind of sailing craft, of +which he was full owner, and captain. + +It was my misfortune to be brought into existence at a period of the +world's history, when my father would be thought by many to be a man in +"humble circumstances of life." He used to earn an honest living by +hard work. + +He was a saddle and harness-maker in an obscure street in the city of +Dublin, and his name was William Stone. + +When memory dwells on my father, pride swells up in my soul: for he was +an honest, temperate, and industrious man, and was very kind to my +mother and his children. I should be an unworthy son, not to feel pride +at the remembrance of such a father! + +There was nothing very remarkable in the character of my mother. I used +to think different once, but that was before I had arrived at the age of +reason. I used to think that she delighted to thwart my childish +inclinations--more than was necessary for her own happiness or mine. +But this was probably a fault of my wayward fancy. I am willing to +think so now. + +I was a little wilful, and no doubt caused her much trouble. I am +inclined to believe, now that she treated me kindly enough--perhaps +better than I deserved. + +I remember, that, up to the time I was eight years of age, it was the +work of two women to put a clean shirt on my back, and the operation was +never performed by them without a long and violent struggle. This +remembrance, along with several others of a like nature, produces upon +me the impression, that my parents must have humoured my whims--too +much, either for my good or their own. + +When I was yet very young, they thought that I was distinguished from +other children by a _penchant_ for suddenly and secretly absenting +myself from those, whose duty it was to be acquainted with my +whereabouts. I often ran away from home to find playmates; and ran away +from school to avoid the trouble of learning my lessons. At this time +of life, so strong was my propensity for escaping from any scene I did +not like, and betaking myself to such as I deemed more congenial to my +tastes, that I obtained the soubriquet of _The Rolling Stone_. + +Whenever I would be missing from home, the inquiry would be made, "Where +is that Rolling Stone?" and this inquiry being often put in the school I +attended, the phrase was also applied to me there. In short it became +my "nickname." + +Perhaps I was a little vain of the appellation: for I certainly did not +try to win another, but, on the contrary, did much to convince +everybody, that the title thus extended to me was perfectly appropriate. + +My father's family consisted of my parents, a brother, one year and a +half younger than myself, and a sister, about two years younger still. + +We were not an unhappy family. The little domestic cares, such as all +must share, only strengthened the desire for existence--in order that +they might be overcome. + +My father was a man without many friends, and with fewer enemies, for he +was a person who attended to his own business, and said but little to +any one. He had a talent for silence; and had the good sense not to +neglect the exercise of it--as many do the best gifts Nature has +bestowed upon them. + +He died when I was about thirteen years old; and, as soon as he was gone +from us, sorrow and misfortune began for the first time to show +themselves in our house. + +There are many families to whom the loss of a parent may be no great +calamity; but ours was not one of them; and, young as I was at the time, +I had the sense to know that thenceforward I should have to war with the +world alone. I had no confidence in my mother's ability to provide for +her children, and saw that, by the death of my father, I was at once +elevated from the condition of a child to that of a man. + +After his decease, the work in the shop was carried on by a young man +named Leary--a journeyman saddler, who had worked with my father for +more than a year previous to his death. + +I was taken from school, and put to work with Mr Leary who undertook to +instruct me in the trade of a harness-maker. I may say that the man +displayed considerable patience in trying to teach me. + +He also assisted my mother with his counsel--which seemed guided by a +genuine regard for our interests. He managed the business in the shop, +in what appeared to be the best manner possible; and the profits of his +labour were punctually handed over to my mother. + +For several weeks after my father's death, everything was conducted in a +manner much more pleasant than we had any reason to expect; and the loss +we had sustained seemed not so serious to our future existence, as I had +at first anticipated. + +All of our acquaintances thought we were exceedingly fortunate in having +such a person as Mr Leary, to assist us in carrying on the business. +Most of the neighbours used to speak of him in the highest terms of +praise; and many times have I heard my mother affirm that she knew not +what would become of us, if deprived of his assistance. + +Up to this time Mr Leary had uniformly treated me with kindness. I +knew of no cause for disliking him; and yet I did! + +My conscience often rebuked me with this unexplained antipathy, for I +believed it to be wrong; but for all that, I could not help it. I did +not even like his appearance; but, on the contrary, thought him the most +hideous person I had ever beheld. Other people had a different opinion; +and I tried to believe that I was guided by prejudice in forming my +judgment of him. I knew he was not to blame for his personal +appearance, nor for any other of my fancies; but none of these +considerations could prevent me from hating Matthew Leary, and in truth +I _did_ hate him. + +I could not conceal my dislike--even from him; and I will do him the +justice to state that he appeared to strive hard to overcome it with +kindness. All his efforts to accomplish this were in vain; and only +resulted in increasing my antipathy. + +Time passed. Mr Leary daily acquired a greater control of the affairs +of our family; and in proportion as his influence over my mother +increased, so did my hostility towards him. + +My mother strove to conquer it, by reminding me of his kindness to all +the family--the interest he took in our common welfare--the trouble he +underwent in teaching me the business my father had followed--and his +undoubted morality and good habits. + +I could not deny that there was reason in her arguments; but my dislike +to Mr Leary was independent of reason: it had sprung from instinct. + +It soon became evident to me that Mr Leary would, at no distant period, +become one of the family. In the belief of my mother, younger brother, +and sister, he seemed necessary to our existence. + +My mother was about thirty-three years of age; and did not appear old +for her years. She was not a bad looking woman--besides, she was +mistress of a house and a business. Mr Leary possessed neither. He +was but a journeyman saddler; but it was soon very evident that he +intended to avail himself of the opportunity of marrying my mother and +her business, and becoming the master of both. + +It was equally evident that no efforts of mine could prevent him from +doing so, for, in the opinion of my mother, he was every thing required +for supplying the loss of her first husband. + +I tried to reason with her, but must admit, that the only arguments I +could adduce were my prejudices, and I was too young to use even them to +the best advantage. But had they been ever so just, they would have +been thrown away on my father's widow. + +The many seeming good traits in the character of Mr Leary, and his +ability for carrying on the work in the shop, were stronger arguments +than any I could urge in answer to them. + +My opposition to their marriage--now openly talked about--only +engendered ill-will in the mind of my mother; and created a coldness, on +her part, towards myself. When finally convinced of her intention to +become Mrs Leary, I strove hard to overcome my prejudices against the +man: for I was fully aware of the influence he would have over me as a +step-father. + +It was all to no purpose. I hated Mr Leary, and could not help it. + +As soon as my mother had definitively made known to me her intention of +marrying him, I felt a strong inclination to strengthen my reputation as +a runaway, by running away from home. But such an exploit was then a +little too grand for a boy of my age to undertake--with much hope of +succeeding in its accomplishment. I did not like to leave home, and +afterwards be compelled to return to it--when I might be worse off than +ever. + +I formed the resolution, therefore, to abide in my mother's--soon to be +Mr Leary's--house, until circumstances should force me to leave it; and +that such circumstances would ere long arise, I had a painful +presentiment. As will be found in the sequel, my presentiment was too +faithfully fulfilled. + +Volume One, Chapter II. + +A SUDDEN CHANGE OF CHARACTER. + +Never have I witnessed a change so great and sudden as came over Mr +Leary, after his marriage with my mother. + +He was no longer the humble journeyman--with the deportment of a +respectable young fellow striving to retain a situation, and gain +friends by good conduct. The very day after the wedding, his behaviour +was that of a vain selfish overbearing plebeian, suddenly raised from +poverty to wealth. He no longer spoke to me in his former feigned tone +of kindness, but with threats, in a commanding voice, and in accents far +more authoritative, than my father had ever used to me. + +Mr Leary had been hitherto industrious, but was so no longer. He +commenced, by employing another man to work in the shop with me, and +plainly expressed by his actions that his share in the business was to +be the spending of the money we might earn. + +Up to that time, he had passed among his acquaintances as a temperate +man; but in less than three weeks after his marriage, he came home drunk +on as many occasions; and each time spoke to my mother in an insulting +and cruel manner. + +I took no trouble to conceal from Mr Leary my opinion of him and his +conduct; and it soon became evident to all, that he and I could not +remain long as members of the same family. + +Our difficulties and misunderstandings increased, until Mr Leary +declared that I was an ungrateful wretch--unworthy of his care; that he +could do nothing with me; and that I should remain no longer in his +house! + +He held a long consultation with my mother, about what was to be done +with me--the result of which was, that I was to be sent to sea. I know +not what arguments he used; but they were effectual with my mother, for +she gave consent to his plans, and I was shortly after bound apprentice +to Captain John Brannon, of the ship "Hope," trading between Dublin and +New Orleans. + +"The sea is the place for you, my lad," said Mr Leary, after the +indenture had been signed, binding me to Captain Brannon. "Aboard of a +ship, you will learn to conduct yourself in a proper manner, and treat +your superiors with respect. You are going to a school, where you will +be taught something--whether you are willing to learn it, or not." + +Mr Leary thought, by sending me to sea, he was obtaining some revenge +for my ill-will towards him; but he was mistaken. Had he known what +pleasure the arrangement gave me, he would, perhaps, have tried to +retain me a little longer working in the shop. As I had already +resolved to leave home, I was only too glad at being thus sent away-- +instead of having the responsibility of an indiscretion resting on +myself. I had but one cause for regret, and that was leaving my mother, +brother, and sister, to the tender mercies of a man like Mr Leary. + +But what was I to do? I was not yet fourteen years of age, and could +not have protected them from him by staying at home. The hatred between +us was mutual; and, perhaps, when his spite was no longer provoked by my +presence, he might treat the rest of the family better. This was the +only thought that consoled me on parting with my relatives. + +I could do nothing but yield to circumstances, leave them to their +destiny, whatever that was to be, and go forth upon the world in search +of my own. + +My brother bore our father's name, William Stone. He was a fair-haired, +blue-eyed boy, with a mild, gentle disposition, and was liked by +everyone who knew him. He never did an action contrary to the expressed +wishes of those who had any authority over him; and, unlike myself, he +was always to be found when wanted. He never tried to shirk his work, +or absent himself from school. + +My little sister, Martha, was a beautiful child, with curly flaxen hair, +and I never gazed on anything more beautiful than her large deep blue +eyes, which seemed to express all the mental attributes of an angel. + +It pained me much to leave little Martha--more than parting either with +my mother or brother. + +My mother wished to furnish me with a good outfit, but was prevented +from doing so by Mr Leary--who said that he could not afford the +expense. He declared, moreover, that I did not deserve it. + +After my box was sent aboard the ship, and I was ready to follow it, +little Willie and Martha were loud in their grief, and I had to tear +myself away from their presence. + +When it came to parting with my mother, she threw her arms around me, +and exclaimed, "My poor boy, you _shall_ not leave me!" + +Mr Leary gave her a glance out of his sinister eyes, which had the +effect of suddenly subduing this expression of grief, and "we parted in +silence and tears." + +Often, and for hours, have I thought of that parting scene, and wondered +why and how Mr Leary had obtained so great an influence over the mind +of my poor mother. + +I once believed that she had a will of her own, with the courage to show +it--an opinion that had been formed from observations made during the +life of my father, but since her marriage with Mr Leary, she seemed +afraid of giving utterance to a word, that might express independence, +and allowed him, not only to speak but think for her. + +I knew that she had much affection for all of us, her children--and her +regret at thus sending me, at so early an age to encounter the hardships +of a long voyage must have been deep and sincere. + +I know that her heart was nearly breaking at that moment. The +expression of her features, and the manner in which she wrung my hand, +told me so; and yet the passion of my grief was not equal in power to +that of her fear for the frowns of Mr Leary. + +My amiable step-father accompanied me to the ship, which was lying in +Dublin Bay; and on our way thither, he became much excited with drink. +He was so elated with whiskey, and with the idea that I was going away, +that he did not speak to me in his usual unpleasant tone. On the +contrary, he seemed all kindness, until we had got aboard the ship. + +"Now my little `Rolling Stone,'" said he, when about to take leave of +me, "you are going to have plenty of rolling now, and may you roll so +far away, as never to roll across my path again." + +He appeared to think this was very witty, for he was much amused at what +he had said, and laughed long and loudly. + +I made no reply, until he was in the boat, which was about to shove off +from the ship, when, looking over the bulwarks, I called after him. + +"Mr Leary! if you ill-use my mother, brother, or sister, in my absence, +_I will certainly kill you when I come back_." + +Mr Leary made no reply, further than to answer me with a smile, that a +hyena might have envied. + +Volume One, Chapter III. + +STORMY JACK. + +There have been so many stories told of the sufferings of boys, when +first sent to sea, that I shall not dwell long on those that befell +myself. + +What a world to me was that ship! I little knew, before it became my +home, how many great men there were in the world. By great men, I mean +those high in authority over their fellows. + +I went aboard of the ship, with the idea that my position in it would be +one which ordinary people might envy. I was guided to this opinion by +something said by the captain, at the time the indentures of my +apprenticeship were being signed. No sooner were we out to sea, than I +learnt that there were at least a dozen individuals on board, who +claimed the right of commanding my services, and that my situation on +board was so humble, as to place me far beneath the notice of the +captain in command. I had been told that we were to be _friends_, but +before we were a week out, I saw that should it be my lot to be lost +overboard, the captain might only accidentally learn that I was gone. +The knowledge of this indifference to my fate was not pleasant to me. +On the contrary, I felt disappointed and unhappy. + +Aboard of the ship were four mates, two boatswains, a carpenter and +_his_ mate, and a steward, besides some others who took a little trouble +to teach me my duty, by giving me orders which were frequently only +given, to save themselves the trouble of doing what they commanded me to +do. + +Only one of these many masters ever spoke to me in a pleasant manner. +This was the boatswain of the watch, in which I was placed, who was +called by his companions, "Stormy Jack," probably for the reason that +there was generally a tempest in his mind, too often expressed in a +storm of words. + +For all this, Stormy Jack was every inch a sailor, a true British tar, +and all know what that means. + +Perhaps I should have said, that all know what it might have meant in +times past, for Stormy Jack was not a fair specimen of English sailors +of the present day. The majority of the men aboard of British ships are +not now as they were thirty years ago. English sailors, in general, +seem to have lost many of the peculiarities that once distinguished them +from other people, and a foreign language is too often spoken in the +forecastle of English ships. + +To return to Stormy Jack. + +One day the carpenter had ordered me to bring him a pannikin of water. +Leaving a job on which I had been set to work by Stormy Jack, I started +to obey. In doing so, I caught the eye of the latter, who was standing +a little to one side, and had not been seen by the carpenter as he gave +me the order. + +Stormy shook his head at me, and pointed to the work he had himself +ordered me to perform, in a manner that plainly said, "go at it again." + +I obeyed this interpretation of his signal, and resumed my task. + +"Did you hear what I said?" angrily shouted the carpenter. + +"Yes, sir," I answered. + +"Then why do you not start, and do what I told you?" + +I stole a sly glance at Stormy Jack, and seeing upon his face a smile, +approving of what I did, I made bold to answer, in a somewhat brusque +manner, that I had other work on hand, and, moreover, it was not my +business to wait upon him. + +The carpenter dropped his adze, caught up his measuring rule, and +advanced towards me. + +He was suddenly stopped by the strong hand of Stormy placed firmly on +his shoulder. + +"Avast!" said the sailor, "don't you molest that boy at his work. If +you do, I am the one to teach you manners." + +The carpenter was a man who knew "how to choose an enemy," and with such +wisdom to guide him, he returned to his own work, without resenting in +any way the check he had thus met with. + +The fact that I had refused to obey the carpenter, and that Stormy Jack +had interceded in my behalf, became known amongst the others who had +been hitherto bullying me, and I was afterwards permitted to go about +the ship, without being the slave of so many masters. + +Some time after the incident above related, Stormy Jack chanced to be +standing near me, and commenced a conversation which was as follows: + +"You are a boy of the right sort," said he, "and I'll not see you +mistreated. I heard what you said to the lubber as brought you aboard, +and I always respects a boy as respects his mother. I hope that man in +the boat was not your father." + +"No," I answered, "he is my step-father." + +"I thought as much," said Stormy, "by his appearing so pleased to get +rid of you. It's my opinion no one ought to have more than one father; +but you must brace up your spirits, my lad. Two or three voyages will +make a man of you, and you will then be able to go back home, and teach +the lubber manners, should he forget 'em. Do the best you can aboard +here to larn your duty, and I'll keep an eye on you. If any one goes to +boxing your compass, when you don't deserve it, I'll teach him manners." + +I thanked Stormy for his kind advice, and promised to do all I could to +merit his protection. + +After having made a friend of Stormy, and an enemy of the carpenter, I +began to be more at home on the ship, and took a stronger interest in +its mysteries and miseries. Familiarity does not with all things breed +contempt. That it should not is a wise provision of Nature, for the +accommodation of the majority of mankind--whose necessity it is to +become familiar with many cares, annoyances, and disagreeable +circumstances. + +Second nature, or habit, is only acquired by familiarity, and seamen +become so familiar with all that is disagreeable in a life on the sea, +that they are never satisfied long with any home, but a floating one. +The mind of youth soon becomes reconciled to circumstances, however +unpleasant, much sooner than that of an older person, and this was +probably the reason why, although greatly dissatisfied at the beginning +of the voyage, I soon became so contented with a life on the sea, that I +preferred it to one on land--at least in a home with Mr Leary as my +master. + +Upon occasions, Stormy Jack permitted the storm in his soul to rage a +little too wildly. One of these occasions occurred about two weeks, +before we reached New Orleans. He had got into a dispute with the +second mate about the setting of a sail, and both becoming intemperate +in the use of the Queen's English, words were used which had to be +resented with violence. + +The first assault was made by the mate, who soon found that he was but a +child in the hands of Stormy Jack. + +The first mate happened to be on deck smoking his pipe, as also the +carpenter, and, as in duty bound, both ran to the relief of their +brother officer. Poor Stormy was knocked down with the carpenter's +mallet, his hands were tied behind him, and he was dragged below. + +The next day I was allowed to take him his dinner, and found him well +pleased with his situation. I was expecting to see him in great grief +over his misfortune--which to me appeared very serious--and was +agreeably surprised to find him in better spirits than I had ever seen +him before. + +"It's all right, Rowley, my boy," said he. "If they can afford to keep +me in idleness, and pay me wages for doing nothing, I'm not the one to +complain. I'm glad this has happened, for I never liked the first +breezer, nor yet Chips, and now I've got an opportunity for letting them +know it. I'm going to leave the ship, and when I've done so, I'll teach +them manners." + +I expressed the opinion, that it could not be very pleasant to be kept +so long in a dark place and alone. + +"That's no punishment," said Stormy. "Can't I sleep? I've been served +worse than this. On a voyage to India I refused duty on the second week +out. I was put in a pen along with some turkeys and geese, and was told +whenever I would go to my duty, I should be taken out. I never gave in, +and finished the voyage in the turkey coop. That was far worse than +this, for the noise on deck, with the conversation between my +companions, the turkeys and geese, often used to keep me from sleep. +That was a queer plan for teaching a fellow manners, but I did not let +it succeed. + +"I was going to say one place was as good as another, but it a'nt. This +ship is no place for me. After we reach New Orleans I shall leave it, +and if ever I come across eyther the first breezer, or carpenter, +ashore, they'll both larn what they never knew afore, and that's +manners. When two men are fighting, another has no right to interrupt +either of 'em with a blow of a mallet, and the man who does so has no +manners, and wants teachin'." + +I was pleased to hear Stormy say that he intended to leave the ship, for +the idea of doing so myself had often entered my thoughts, and had been +favourably entertained. + +I had no great hopes of finding a better home than I had on board the +ship, but I had been placed there by Leary, and that was sufficient +reason for my wishing to leave her. He had driven me from my own home, +and I would not live in one of his choosing. + +I resolved, therefore, to take leave of the ship if Stormy would allow +me to become his companion, and even if he should not, I had more than +half determined upon running away. + +Volume One, Chapter IV. + +A CHANGE OF CALLING. + +Two days before we reached New Orleans, Stormy Jack expressed some sham +contrition for what he had done, with an inclination to return to his +duty. He was liberated, and once more the deck was enlivened by the +sound of his rough manly voice giving the necessary orders for working +the ship. + +I found a favourable opportunity of telling him, that I should like to +go along with him. At first he objected to aid me, and urged me to +remain, as a reason for my doing so, urging the argument: that a boy +serving his apprenticeship was much better off than one wandering about +without a home. + +To me this argument was worth nothing. The idea of remaining for seven +years in a situation chosen for me by Mr Leary, was too absurd to be +seriously entertained for a moment. I told Stormy so; and he finally +consented that I should go with him. + +"My reason for objecting at first," said he, "was because I did not like +to be troubled with you; but that's not exactly the right sort o' +feeling for a Christian to steer by. One should expect to have some +trouble with those as need a helping hand, and I don't know why I should +try to shirk from my share of it." + +I promised Stormy that I would try not to cause him any trouble, or as +little as possible. + +"Of course you will try," said he, "or if you don't, I'll teach you +manners." + +Stormy's threat did not alarm me; and our conversation at the time +ended--leaving me well pleased with the prospect of getting clear of the +ship, by his assistance. + +Stormy's return to duty was only a pretence. It was done to deceive the +officers--so that he might the more easily find an opportunity of +escaping from the ship. + +Two days after our arrival in the port of New Orleans, he was allowed +liberty to go ashore; and I was permitted to accompany him. The Captain +probably supposed that the wages due to Stormy would bring him back; and +the suspicion, that a boy like myself should wish to leave the ship, had +never entered into his mind. + +Several of our shipmates went ashore along with us; and the first thing +we all thought of was, what the reader will readily imagine, to find a +place where strong drink was sold. This is usually a sailor's first +thought on going ashore after a voyage. + +After having taken two or three glasses with our shipmates, Stormy gave +me a wink, and sidled towards the door. I followed him; and slipping +unperceived into the street, we turned a corner, and kept on through +several streets--until we had arrived at another part of the city. The +little that Stormy had drunk had by this time only sharpened his +appetite for more. + +"Here I am," said he, "with clear twelve shillings in my pocket. What a +spell of fun I could have, if 'twas not for you! Seven weeks without a +spree, and now can't have it because I've you to take care of. Thought +'twould be so. Rowley, my boy! see what I'm suffering for you. You are +teaching me manners, whether I'm willing to larn 'em or not." + +I allowed the sailor to go on uninterrupted with his storm of +complaints, although there was a reflection in my mind, that if I was +keeping him from getting drunk, the obligation was not all on my side. + +Stormy had but twelve shillings, and I half-a-crown, which the Captain +had given to me before coming ashore. + +It was necessary that something should be done, before this money should +be all spent. + +Under ordinary circumstances, the sailor need not have felt any +apprehension, about being out of money. He could easily get employment +in another vessel; but as matters stood, Stormy was afraid of being +caught, should he attempt to join another ship--before that from which +he had deserted had taken her departure from the port. If caught, +Stormy knew he would be punished; and this rendered him a trifle +serious. + +The next day we passed in wandering about the city--taking care to avoid +all places where we would be likely to meet with any of the officers, or +men of the ship "Hope." + +Stormy's thoughts were all day in a fearful storm, commingled with +anxiety as to what we should do to make a living. + +"On your account, Rowley," said he, "I'm not misinclined for a spell on +shore, if I could find anything to do, but that's the trouble. There's +not much work ashore, that be proper for an honest man to bear a hand +in. What little of such work there is here, is done by darkies, while +white men do all the cheating and scheming. Howsomever, lad, we must +try to get at something." + +The next day Stormy did try; and obtained work at rigging a new ship, +that had just been launched. The job would last for a month. The wages +were good; and the storm in Stormy's mind had now subsided into an +agreeable calm. + +We sought a cheap lodging-house, not far from where his work was to be +performed; and that evening the sailor indulged in a pipe and a glass, +from which he had prudently refrained during all the day. + +I was unwilling that the burden of supporting me should be borne by my +generous protector; and being anxious to do something for myself, I +asked him what I should go about. + +"I've just been thinking of that," said he, "and I believe I've hit upon +an idea. Suppose you sell newspapers? I see many lads about your age +in that business here; and they must make something at it. It's not +hard work, besides it appears to be very respectable. It is a lit'rary +business, as no boy should be 'shamed of." + +I approved of the plan, and joyfully agreed to give it a trial. + +It was arranged that the next morning I should go to the office of a +daily paper--buy a bundle of copies; and try to dispose of them at a +profit. + +Early the next morning, Stormy started off to his work on the ship, and +I to a newspaper office. + +I reached the place too early to get out the papers; but found several +boys waiting like myself. I joined their company, listened to them, and +was much interested in their conversation, without very clearly +comprehending what they were talking about. + +I could distinctly hear every word they said; but the meaning of the +words I knew not, for the most of them were slang phrases--such as I had +never heard before. + +I could see that they were very fast boys--much faster than I was-- +although the "Rolling Stone" had not been for several years rolling +through the streets of Dublin, without learning some city sharpness. + +I entered into conversation with two of the boys, in order to find out +something of the business of news-vending; and could see from their +manner that they regarded me, as they would have said, "not all thar." + +They pretended to give me such information as I required; but I +afterwards learnt that they had not told me one word of truth. + +When the papers were published, I went in with the others, put down a +half dollar, and received in exchange the correct number of copies. I +hurried out, walked some distance from the office, and commenced +offering my wares for sale. + +On turning down a wide street, I met three gentlemen, each of whom took +a copy out of my hands and gave me a picayune in return. + +I was doing business for myself--buying and selling; and in my soul +arose a feeling of independence and pride that has never been so +thoroughly awakened since. + +I passed along the street, till I came to a large hotel, where I saw two +other gentlemen under the verandah. + +I went up to them, offered my goods as before, and each took a +newspaper. As one of them offered me payment for his copy, I had hardly +the strength to hand him the paper and take his money. I nearly dropped +to the pavement. The man was Captain Brannon, of the ship "Hope," to +whom I had been apprenticed! + +I moved away from him as fast as my trembling limbs would carry me; and +the glance which I could not help throwing over my shoulder, told me +that I had not been recognised. + +This was the man, who had promised to treat me as he would his own son; +and yet during a long voyage had taken so little notice of me, that I +could thus transact business with him, without being recognised! + +By twelve o'clock my work for the day was finished; and I returned to +the lodging-house with a dollar in picayune pieces--having made a +hundred per cent on my capital. + +I was at that hour the happiest boy in New Orleans. + +I was happy, yet full of impatience, as I waited through the long +afternoon for the return of Stormy Jack. + +There was pride and pleasure in the anticipation of his approval of my +exertions, when I should show him the money I had made. It was the +first money I had ever earned--my only transactions with the circulating +medium before that time, having been to spend it, as fast as it could be +obtained from a fond father. + +I entered into an elaborate calculation by an arithmetical rule I had +learned under the name of "reduction," and found that I had made in one +day, by my own exertions, over two shillings of English money. + +I had pride--pride in my ability to make money at all, and pride in my +scholastic acquirements, which enabled one so young to tell how much had +been gained, for I was not able to comprehend fully the amount, until I +had brought it into shillings and pence. + +With burning impatience I waited for the return of Stormy. Being +fatigued, however, I fell asleep, and dreamt of having made a fortune, +and of having had a fight with Mr Leary, in which that gentleman--to +make use of Stormy's favourite expression--had been "taught some +manners." + +When I awoke, I looked eagerly at a clock. It was past seven in the +evening, and Stormy Jack had not returned! + +He had been due more than an hour. The happiness I had been all day +indulging in, suddenly forsook me; and a sickening sensation of +loneliness came over my soul. + +I sat up waiting and watching for him until a very late hour--in fact +until I was driven to bed by the landlady; but Stormy did not return. + +Volume One, Chapter V. + +GOD HELP US! + +No week of my life ever seemed so long, as that night spent in waiting +for the return of Stormy Jack. It was not until the sun beams were +gushing through my window in the morning, that I was able to fall +asleep. + +By nine o'clock I was up, and out upon the streets in search of my +companion and protector. My search was continued all day without +success. + +I did not know the name of the ship on which he had gone to work; and +therefore I had no clue to his whereabouts. In fact I had such a slight +clue to guide me, that my search was but little less than the pursuit of +folly. + +I did not like to believe that Stormy had wilfully deserted me. + +In my lone and friendless condition, with the memory of the way in which +I had left my mother, to have thought so, would have made me desirous of +dying. I had rather think that some serious accident had happened him, +than that he had abandoned me to my fate, to avoid any further trouble I +might give him. + +Another idea occurred to me. He might have been found by some of the +officers of the "Hope," and either taken aboard, or imprisoned for +deserting. This was so probable, that for awhile I was tempted to go +back to the ship and resume my duties. + +Reflection told me, that if he had fallen into the hands of the captain, +he would not leave me alone in a city like New Orleans. He would tell +the captain where I was staying, and have me sent for and brought +aboard. + +The only, or what seemed the best thing I could do, was to return to the +lodging-house, and there await the event. + +After a long weary day spent in vain search for my lost companion, I +carried this idea into effect, and went back to the lodging-house. As I +anticipated, Stormy had not returned to it. + +The landlady was a woman of business; and fancied, or rather believed, +that my responsible protector had deserted me, leaving her with a boy to +keep, and a bill unpaid. + +She asked me if I had any money. In reply, I produced all I had. All +but one "picayune" of it was required, for the payment of the score we +had already run up. + +"Now, my lad," said she, "you had better try to find some employment, +where you will earn a living. You are welcome to stay here to-night, +and have your breakfast in the morning. You will then have all day +to-morrow to find another home." + +The next morning, after I had swallowed my breakfast, she came to me and +bid me an affectionate "good bye." It was a broad hint that she neither +expected, nor wished me to stay in her house any longer. + +I took the hint, walked out into the street, and found myself in a +crowd, but alone, with the great new world before me. + +"What shall I do?" was the question set before a full committee of my +mental faculties, assembled, or awakened, to deliberate on the emergency +of the moment. + +I could be a newsvendor no longer: for the want of capital to invest in +the business. + +I could return to the ship, and perhaps get flogged for having run away; +but I was so disappointed in the treatment I had received at the hands +of the captain, that nothing but extreme suffering could have induced me +to seek protection from him. + +The restraint to which I had been subjected on board the ship, seemed +partly to have emanated from Mr Leary, and for that reason was to me +all the more disagreeable. + +I wandered about the streets, reflecting on what I should do until both +my brain and legs became weary. + +I sat down on some steps leading to the door of a restaurant. My young +heart was still strong, but beating wildly. + +Over the door of a grocer's shop in front of me, and on the opposite +side of the street, I read the name "John Sullivan." At sight of this +familiar name, a glimmering of hope entered into my despairing mind. + +Four years previous to that time, the grocer with whom my parents used +to deal had emigrated to America. His name was John Sullivan. Was it +possible that the shop and the name before me belonged to this man? + +I arose, and crossed the street. I entered the shop, and inquired of a +young man behind the counter, if Mr Sullivan was at home. + +"He's up stairs," said the youth. "Do you wish to see him in +particular?" + +I answered in the affirmative; and Mr Sullivan was called down. + +The man I hoped to meet was, when I saw him last, a little man with red +hair; but the individual who answered the summons of the shop boy, was a +man about six feet in his stockings, with dark hair and a long black +beard. + +I saw at a glance, that the grocer who had emigrated from Dublin and the +man before me were not identical, but entirely different individuals. + +"Well, my lad, what do you want?" asked the tall proprietor of the shop, +looking down on me with a glance of curious inquiry. + +"Nothing," I stammered out, perhaps more confused than I had ever been +before. + +"Then what have you had me called for?" he asked, in a tone that did +little to aid me in overcoming my embarrassment. + +After much hesitation and stammering, I explained to him that from +seeing his name over the door, I had hoped to find a man of the same +name, with whom I had been acquainted in Ireland, and who had emigrated +to America. + +"Ah!" said he, smiling ironically. "My father's great-grandfather came +over to America about two hundred and fifty years ago. His name was +John Sullivan. Perhaps you mean him?" + +I had nothing to say in answer to this last interrogation, and was +turning to leave the shop. + +"Stop my lad!" cried the grocer. "I don't want to be at the trouble of +having come downstairs for nothing. Supposing I was the John Sullivan +you knew--what then?" + +"Then you would tell me what I should do," I answered, "for I have +neither home, friends, nor money." + +In reply to this, the tall shopkeeper commenced submitting me to a sharp +examination--putting his queries in a tone that seemed to infer the +right to know all I had to communicate. + +After obtaining from me the particulars relative to my arrival in the +country, he gave me his advice in exchange. It was, to return instanter +to the ship from which I had deserted. + +I told him that this advice could not be favourably received, until I +had been about three days without food. + +My rejoinder appeared to cause a change in his disposition towards me. + +"William!" said he, calling out to his shop-assistant, "can't you find +something for this lad to do for a few days?" + +William "reckoned" that he could. + +Mr Sullivan then returned upstairs; and I, taking it for granted that +the thing was settled, hung up my hat. + +The grocer had a family, living in rooms adjoining the shop. It +consisted of his wife and two children--the eldest a girl about four +years of age. + +I was allowed to eat at the same table with themselves; and soon became +well acquainted with, and I believe well liked by, them all. The little +girl was an eccentric being, even for a child; and seldom said a word to +anyone. Whenever she did speak, she was sure to make use of the phrase, +"God help us!" + +This expression she had learnt from an Irish servant wench, who was in +the habit of making frequent use of it; and it was so often echoed by +the little girl, in a parrot-like manner, that Mr Sullivan and his +wife--at the time I joined the family were striving to break her from +the habit of using it. + +The servant girl, when forbidden by her mistress ever to use the +expression in the child's presence, would cry out: "God help us, Mem! I +can't help it." + +Whenever the words were spoken by little Sarah--this was the child's +name--Mrs Sullivan would say, "Sarah, don't you ever say that again. +If you do, you shall be locked up in the cellar." + +"God help us!" little Sarah would exclaim, in real alarm at the threat. + +"There you go again. Take that, and that," Mrs Sullivan would cry, +giving the child two or three slaps on the side of the head. + +"Oh mother! mother! God help us!" little Sarah would cry out, +altogether unconscious of the crime she was committing. + +Every effort made, for inducing the child to refrain from the use of +this expression, only caused its more frequent repetition; and often in +a manner so ludicrous, as to conquer the anger of her parents, and turn +it into laughter. + +When I had been about five weeks with Mr Sullivan, I was engaged one +morning in washing the shop windows, and accidentally broke a large and +costly pane of plate glass. A sudden shock came over my spirits--one +more painful than I had ever experienced. Mr Sullivan had been so kind +to me, that to do him an injury, accidentally or otherwise, seemed the +greatest misfortune that could happen to me. + +He was upstairs at the time; and I had not the moral courage to face +him. Had I waited for him to come down, and see what had been done, he +might have said something that would have pained me to hear; but +certainly nothing more serious would have happened, and all would have +been well again. + +I must have a disposition constitutionally inclined to absconding. To +run away, as my mother had often told me, must be my _nature_. I would +rather believe this than otherwise, since I do not wish to be charged +with the voluntary indiscretion of deserting a good home. It was only +an overwhelming sense of the kindness with which I had been treated, and +the injury I had inflicted on my benefactor, that caused me to dread an +encounter with Mr Sullivan. + +Perhaps a boy with a smaller sense of gratitude and less sensitiveness +of soul, would have acted differently; and yet would have acted right: +for it is always better to meet a difficulty boldly, than to flee in a +cowardly manner from the responsibilities attending it. + +Little Sarah Sullivan happened to be in the shop at the time I broke the +window. I heard her exclaim, "God help us!" + +I did not stay to hear any more: for in six seconds after, I had turned +the nearest corner; and was once more homeless in the streets of New +Orleans. + +Volume One, Chapter VI. + +ONCE MORE UPON THE OCEAN! + +I did not dislike a sea life; and would not have been dissatisfied with +any situation on a ship, providing it had not been procured for me by +Mr Leary. + +On running away from Mr Sullivan's shop, my inclination was to leave +New Orleans in some ship; but, unfortunately, I knew not the proper +manner of going to work to accomplish my desires. + +I walked along the levee, till I reached a ship, that was just being +hauled from the wharf--evidently for the purpose of standing down the +river and out to sea. + +I stepped aboard intending to apply for work; and after looking around +for a while, I observed a man who, to all appearance, was the captain. + +When asked to give me some situation in the ship, he appeared too busy +to pay any attention to my request. + +I was on a vessel proceeding to sea; and, knowing my ability to make +myself useful, I determined not to go ashore without a hearing. + +I walked forward; and amidst the confusion of getting the ship under +way--where there was so much to be done--I found work enough to do; and +took much care, while doing it, to keep out of the way of others--which, +to a boy aboard of a ship, is a task of some difficulty. + +No one seemed to take any notice of me that afternoon or evening; and +about nine o'clock at night I laid down under the long boat, fell +asleep, and slept till morning. + +I turned out at the earliest hour, and lent a hand at washing the decks; +but still no one seemed to know, that I was not one of the ship's +company! + +At eight o'clock the crew were mustered, and divided into watches. My +name was not called: and the captain observing the circumstance, +requested me to walk aft. + +"Who are you?" asked he, as I drew near. + +Something whispered me not to undervalue myself, but to speak up with +confidence; and in answer to his demand, I told him that I was a +_Rolling Stone_. + +"A Rolling Stone, are you?" said the captain. "Well, what have you +rolled here for?" + +"Because I wanted to go somewhere," I answered. + +He then asked me if I had ever been at sea; and, on learning the name of +the ship I had deserted, he said that she had sailed the week before, or +he would have sent me back to her. + +He concluded his examination, by giving the steward orders to look after +me--telling him that I could assist in the slop work to be done in the +cabin. + +To this arrangement I decidedly objected, declaring that I was a +_sailor_, and would not be made a _cuddy servant_! + +I have every reason to believe, that this declaration on my part +elevated me several degrees in the captain's good opinion. + +He replied by expressing a hope, that I would not aspire to the command +of the ship; and if not, he would see what could be done for me. + +The vessel was bound for Liverpool with cotton; and was owned by the +captain himself, whose name was Hyland. + +I was never better treated in my life, than on board that ship. + +I was not assigned to any particular occupation, or watch; but no +advantage was taken of this circumstance, on the captain's part, to make +me do too much, or by me to do too little. + +I was generally on deck all the day; and whenever I saw anything useful +that I could do, it was done. + +In this way, both watches had the aid of my valuable services--which, +however, were not always sufficiently appreciated to prevent a few sharp +words being applied to me. But a boy aboard of a ship soon learns to +take no notice of such trifles. + +I was ordered to mess with the sailmaker, who--as I afterwards learnt-- +was directed by the captain to look well after me. + +On our arrival in Liverpool, the ship was docked, and the crew went +ashore, with the exception of two men--both strangers to me--who with +myself were left on board. + +One of the men had something to do with the Custom House; and tried hard +to induce me to go ashore, along with the rest of the crew. But the +ship being my only home, I was not willing to leave her; and I resisted +all the inducements held out by the Custom House officer to that effect. +The captain had gone away from the ship, after seeing her safe into +port; but I would not leave the vessel lest I should never meet him +again: for something told me he was my truest friend. + +The next day he came on board again; and seemed rather surprised at +finding me there. + +"Ah! little Rolling Stone," said he, "I've been inquiring for you; and +am pleased to see you have not gone ashore. What do you intend to do +with yourself?" + +"Stay here," I answered, "until the ship sails again." + +"No, you can't stop here," said the captain. "You must come ashore, and +live somewhere--until the ship is made ready for sea." + +He continued to talk with me for half-an-hour; and obtained from me a +full account of the circumstances under which I had left my home. + +"If I thought that you would stay with me, and do something for +yourself," said Captain Hyland, after hearing my story, "I would +endeavour to make a man of you." + +My reply to this was, that I preferred a life on the sea to any other, +and that I left Captain Brannon, for the simple reason that I did not +like either him, or the man who had placed me under his control. + +"Very well," said the captain, "I'll keep you awhile on trial; and if +you prove ungrateful for what I shall do for you, you will injure +yourself, more than you can me." + +After this conversation, he took me ashore, bought me a suit of clothes; +and then told me to accompany him to his own home. + +I found that Captain Hyland had a wife and one child--a girl about ten +years of age. + +I thought there could be nothing in the universe more beautiful than +that girl. Perhaps there was not. Why should not my opinion on such +subjects be as correct as that of others? But no man living could have +looked upon Lenore Hyland, without being convinced that she was very +beautiful. + +Six weeks passed before the ship was again ready for sea; and during +that time I resided at the captain's house, and was the constant +companion of his little daughter, Lenore. + +In the interval, my kind protector asked me--whether I would not like to +go to Dublin for a few days, and see my mother. + +I told him that the "Hope" would then be in Dublin; and that I would +certainly be handed over to Captain Brannon. + +He reflected for a moment; and then allowed the subject to drop. + +I did feel some anxiety concerning my relatives; but was too happy in +Liverpool, to change my condition by going to visit them. + +In order to satisfy my conscience, I thought of several reasons why I +should not go home. They were easily found: for very idiotic, indeed, +is that mind that cannot find arguments, in support of desires emanating +from itself--whether they be right or wrong. + +I knew that in whatever state I might find my relatives--or whatever +might have been the conduct of Mr Leary towards them--I would be +powerless either to aid them or punish him. + +I strove my best to make as little trouble as possible in my new home, +and to gain the good will of Mrs Hyland. I had every reason to believe +that my efforts were successful. + +In justice to her, I should state that my task was not so difficult, as +it would have been with most women: for she was a kind-hearted lady, who +had the discernment to perceive that I was anxious to deserve, as well +as obtain her esteem. + +Before the ship was ready to sail, Lenore had learnt to call me +_brother_; and when parting with her to go on board, her sorrow was +expressed in a manner that gave me much gratification. + +Perhaps it is wrong for any one to feel pleasure at the demonstrations +of another's grief; but there are circumstances when such will be the +case, whether wrong or not. Unfortunate, indeed, is that lonely being, +who has not in the wide world one acquaintance from whom he can part, +with eyes dimmed by the bright drops of sorrow. + +There are thousands of seamen, who have wandered long and far from every +early tie of kindred and friendship. They form no others; but wander +over the earth unloving, unloved and unknown--as wretched, reckless and +lone, as the "last man," spoken of by the poet Campbell. + +There is ever a bright spot in the soul of that man, who has reason to +believe that there is some one, who thinks of him with kindness when far +away; and that one bright spot will often point out the path of virtue-- +which otherwise might have been passed, undiscovered, or unheeded. + +Volume One, Chapter VII. + +CHOOSING A HORSE. + +The reader may justly say that I have dwelt too long on the incidents of +my early years. As my excuse for having done so, I can only urge, that +the first parts we play on the stage of life appear of more importance +to us than what they really are; and are consequently remembered more +distinctly and with greater interest than those of later occurrence. + +I will try not to offend in the same way again; and, as some +compensation for having been too tedious, I shall pass over nearly three +years of my existence--without occupying much space in describing the +incidents that transpired during this period. Circumstances aid me in +doing so, for these three years were spent in a tranquil, happy manner. +They produced no change in my situation: for I remained in the same +employment--in the service of Captain Hyland. + +The ship "Lenore," owned and commanded by him, was a regular trader +between Liverpool and New Orleans. + +In our voyages, the captain took as much trouble in trying to teach me +navigation--and all other things connected with the profession of the +sea--as he could have done had I been his own son. + +I appreciated his kindness; and had the gratification to know that my +efforts to deserve it met with his warmest approbation. + +At every return to Liverpool, and during our sojourn there, his house +was my home. At each visit, my friendship for Mrs Hyland, and her +beautiful daughter Lenore, became stronger. It was mutual too; and I +came to be regarded almost as one of the family. + +When in Liverpool, I had frequent opportunities of going to Dublin to +see my mother, and with shame I confess that I did not make use of them. +The attractions of my home in Liverpool proved too great for me to +leave it--even for a short interval. + +I often thought of going to Dublin; and reflected with pride on the fact +that I was getting to be a man, and would be able to protect my +relatives from any ill-treatment they might have received at the hands +of Mr Leary. With all this, I did not go. + +Aboard of the ship, I had one enemy, who, for some reason not fully +understood, seemed to hate me as heartily, as one man could hate +another. This was the first mate, who had been with Captain Hyland for +several years. + +He had witnessed with much disfavour the interest the captain took in my +welfare, from the time of my first joining the ship; and jealousy of my +influence over the latter might have had much to do in causing the +mate's antipathy towards myself. + +The steward, sailmaker, and one or two others, who were permanently +attached to the vessel, were all friends to the "Rolling Stone," the +name by which I was generally known; but the hostility of the first mate +could not be removed by any efforts I made towards that end. + +After a time, I gradually lost the nickname of the "Rolling Stone," and +was called by my proper name, Rowland. I suppose the reason was, that +my actions having proved me willing and able to remain for some time in +one situation, it was thought that I deserved to be called a "Rolling +Stone" no longer. + +I had been nearly three years with Captain Hyland, and we were in New +Orleans--where the ship, lying at the wharf, was left under my charge. +The captain himself had gone to stay at a hotel in the city; and I had +not seen him for several days. + +The first mate was at this time neglecting his duty, and frequently +remained over twenty-four hours absent from the ship. On one occasion, +just as the latter came aboard to resume his duties, I received +intelligence, that the captain was very ill, and wished to see me +ashore. + +Notwithstanding this message from the captain himself--the mate, whose +name was Edward Adkins--refused to allow me to leave the ship. + +The season was summer; and I knew that many people were dying in the +city--which was scourged at the time with yellow fever. + +The captain had undoubtedly been taken ill of that disease; and, +disregarding the commands of the mate, I went ashore with all haste to +see him. + +I found him, as I had anticipated, suffering from yellow fever. He had +just sufficient consciousness to recognise, and bid me an eternal +farewell, with a slight pressure of his hand. + +He died a few minutes after; and a sensation came over me similar to +that I had experienced a few years before--when bending over the cold +inanimate form of my father. + +Mr Adkins became the captain of the "Lenore," and at once gave me a +discharge. My box was sent ashore; and I was not afterwards allowed to +set foot on board of the ship! + +I appealed to the English Consul; but could obtain no satisfaction from +him. I could not blame the official: for the mate was entitled to the +command, and consequently had the right of choosing his crew. + +My wages were paid me--besides some trifling compensation, for being +discharged in a foreign port. + +Again the new world was before me; and the question once more came up: +"What am I to do?" + +I wished to return to Liverpool to see Mrs Hyland and Lenore. They +were to me as a mother and sister. Who should carry to them the sad +news of their great misfortune? Who but myself? + +The beautiful Lenore, I must see her again. I had been fancying myself +in love with her for some time; but, now that her father was dead I +reflected more sensibly on the subject, and arrived at the conclusion +that I was a fool. I was but seventeen, and she only thirteen years of +age! Why should I return to Liverpool? I had a fortune to make; and +why should I return to Liverpool? + +I thought of my mother, brother, and sister. They were under the +ill-treatment of a man I had every reason to hate. They might need my +protection. It was my duty to return to them. Should I go? + +This question troubled me for some time; but in the end it was settled. +I did not go. + +Many will say that I neglected a sacred duty; but perhaps they have +never been placed in circumstances similar to mine. They have never +been in a foreign country, at the age of seventeen, in a city like New +Orleans. + +There was at this time a great commotion in the place. The fife and +drum were continually heard in the streets; and flags were flying from +houses in different parts of the city--indicating the localities of +"recruiting stations." + +The United States had declared war against Mexico; and volunteers were +invited to join the army. + +Among other idlers, I enrolled myself. + +It was probably a very unwise act; but many thousands have done the same +thing; and I claim an equal right with others to act foolishly, if so +inclined. We are all guilty of wise and foolish actions, or more +properly speaking, of good and bad ones; and often, when desirous of +doing the one, it ends by our committing the other. + +After being "mustered into the service," we were sent into the country +to a rendezvous, where the corps to which I belonged, which was to form +part of a cavalry regiment, received its allotted number of horses. + +To have pointed out a particular horse to a particular man, and have +said "that is yours," would have given occasion for many to declare that +partiality had been shown. For this reason, an arrangement was made by +which each man was allowed to choose his own horse. + +The animals were ranged in a line, by being tied to a rail fence; and +then we were all mustered in rank, about two hundred and fifty yards to +the rear. It was then made known, that on a signal being given, each +one of us might take the horse that suited him best. + +The word of command was at length given; and a more interesting foot +race was perhaps never witnessed, than came off on that occasion. + +I was good at running; but unfortunately but a poor judge of horse +flesh. + +Only three or four of the company reached the fence before me; and I had +nearly all the horses from which to make my choice. + +I selected one, with a short neck and long flowing tail. He was of +coal-black colour; and, in my opinion, the best looking horse of the +lot. It was an intellectual animal--a horse of character--if ever a +horse had any mental peculiarities entitling him to such distinction. + +It was the first steed I ever had the chance of bestriding; and the +movement by which I established myself on his back must have been either +very cleverly, or very awkwardly executed: since it greatly excited the +mirth of my companions. + +The horse had a knack of dispensing with any disagreeable encumbrance; +and having been so long a "Rolling Stone," I had not yet acquired the +skill of staying where I was not wanted. + +When I placed the steed between my legs, he immediately gave me a hint +to leave. I know not whether the hint was a strong one or not; but I do +know that it produced the result the horse desired: since he and I +instantly parted company. + +I was informed that the animal came from Kentucky; and I have not the +least doubt about this having been the case, for after dealing me a +sommersault, it started off in the direction of the "dark and bloody +ground," and was only stopped on its journey by a six foot fence. + +Those who were dissatisfied with the result of their choice, had +permission to exchange horses with any other with whom they could make +an arrangement. + +In the corps to which I belonged was a young man from the State of Ohio, +named Dayton. When the scamper towards the horses took place, instead +of running with the rest, Dayton walked leisurely along; and arrived +where the horses were tied, after every other individual in the company +had appropriated a steed. The only horse left for Dayton had also a +character--one that can only be described by calling him a sedate and +serious animal. + +This horse had a sublime contempt for either whip or spurs; and +generally exercised his own judgment, as to the pace at which he should +move. That judgment equally forbade him to indulge in eccentric +actions. + +Dayton proposed that we should exchange steeds--an offer that I gladly +accepted. When my absconding horse was brought back to the camp, I made +him over to Dayton, by whom he was at once mounted. + +The animal tried the same movements with Dayton that had proved so +successful with me; but they failed. He was a good rider, and stuck to +his horse, as one of the men declared, "like death to a dead nigger." + +The creature was conquered, and afterwards turned out one of the best +horses in the troop. + +Volume One, Chapter VIII. + +AN EPISODE OF SOLDIER-LIFE. + +American authors have written so much about the Mexican war, that I +shall state nothing concerning it, except what is absolutely necessary +in giving a brief account of my own adventures--which, considering the +time and the place, were neither numerous nor in any way remarkable. + +While in the service of the United States during that campaign, I was +the constant companion of Dayton. On the march and in the field of +strife, we rode side by side with each other. + +We shared many hardships and dangers, and such circumstances usually +produce firm friendships. It was so in our case. + +Dayton was a young man who won many friends, and made almost as many +enemies, for he took but little care to conceal his opinions of others, +whether they were favourable or not. Although but a private, he had +more influence among his comrades than any other man in the company. +The respect of some, and the fear of others, gave him a power that no +officer could command. + +I did not see much of the war: as I was only in two actions--those of +Buena Vista and Cerro Gordo. + +I know that some of the people of Europe have but a very poor opinion of +the fighting qualities of the Mexicans, and may not dignify the actions +of Buena Vista and Cerro Gordo by the name of battles. These people are +mistaken. The Mexicans fought well at Buena Vista, notwithstanding that +they were defeated by men, said to be undisciplined. + +It has been stated in a London paper that the Mexicans are more +contemptible, as an enemy, than the same number of Chinamen. The author +of that statement probably knew nothing of either of the people he wrote +about; and he was thus undervaluing the Mexicans for no other reason, +than that of disparaging the small but brave army to which I belonged. + +The Mexicans are not cowards. An individual Mexican has as much moral +and physical courage as a man of any other country. As a general thing +they have as little fear of losing life or limb as any other people. +"Why then," some may ask, "were they beaten by a few thousand American +volunteers?" + +Without attempting to answer this question, I still claim that the +Mexicans are not cowards. + +In the battle of Buena Vista I lost the horse obtained by exchange from +Dayton. The animal had been my constant care and companion, ever since +I became possessed of him; and had exhibited so much character and +intellect, that I thought almost as much of him, as I did of Dayton, my +dearest friend. + +In my opinion, it is not right to take horses on to the field of battle. +I never thought this, until I had my steed shot under me--when the +sight of the noble animal struggling in the agonies of death, caused me +to make a mental vow never again to go on horseback into a battle. + +This resolve, however, I was soon compelled to break. Another horse was +furnished me the next day--on which I had to take my place in the ranks +of my corps. + +One day the company to which I belonged had a skirmish with a party of +guerilleros. + +We were charging them--our animals urged to their greatest speed--when +Dayton's horse received a shot, and fell. I could not stop to learn the +fate of the rider, as I was obliged to keep on with the others. + +We pursued the Mexicans for about five miles; and killed over half of +their number. + +On returning to camp, I traced back the trail over which we had pursued +the enemy--in order to find Dayton. After much trouble I succeeded; and +I believe no person ever saw me with more pleasure than did Dayton on +that occasion. + +The dead horse was lying on one of his legs, which had been broken. He +had been in this situation for nearly three hours; and with all his +exertions had been unable to extricate himself. + +After getting him from under the terrible incubus, and making him as +comfortable as possible, I sought the assistance of some of my +companions. These I fortunately found without much trouble, and we +conveyed our wounded comrade to the camp. Dayton was afterwards removed +to a hospital; and this was the last I saw of him during the Mexican +war. + +I had but very little active service after this: for my company was left +behind the main army; and formed a part of the force required for +keeping open a communication between Vera Cruz, and the capital of +Mexico. + +The rest of the time I remained in the army, was only remarkable for its +want of excitement and tediousness; and all in the company were much +dissatisfied at not being allowed to go on to the Halls of Montezuma. +The duty at which we were kept, was only exciting for its hardships; and +American soldiers very soon become weary of excitement of this kind. We +were only too delighted, on receiving orders to embark for New Orleans. + +On the Sunday before sailing out of the port of Vera Cruz, I went in +search of some amusement; and commenced strolling through town in hopes +of finding it. In my walk, I came across a man seated under an awning, +which he had erected in the street, where he was dealing "Faro." A +number of people were betting against his "bank," and I lingered awhile +to watch the game. + +Amongst others who were betting, was a drunken mule-driver, who had been +so far unfortunate as to lose all his money--amounting to about one +hundred dollars. + +The "MD"--as the mule-drivers were sometimes styled--either justly, or +not, accused the gambler of having cheated him. He made so much +disturbance, that he was at length forced away from the table by others +standing around it--who, no doubt, were interested in the game. + +The "MD" went into a public-house near by; and soon after came out +again, carrying a loaded rifle. + +Advancing within about twenty paces of the table where the gambler was +engaged, he called out to the crowd to stand aside, and let him have a +shot at the "skunk," who had cheated him. + +"Yes," said the gambler, placing his hand on a revolver, "stand aside, +gentlemen, if you please, and let him have a chance!" + +Those between them, obeyed the injunction in double quick time; and, as +soon as the space was clear enough to give a line for his bullet, the +gambler fired--before the "MD" had raised the rifle to his shoulder. + +The mule-driver was shot through the heart; and the game went on! + +We had an interesting voyage from Vera Cruz to New Orleans. The +hardships of the march and camp were over. Some were returning to home +and friends; and all were noisy--some with high animal spirits, and some +with strong ardent spirits, known under the name of _rum_. + +There was much gambling on the ship, and many rows to enliven the +passage; but I must not tarry to describe all the scenes I have met, or +the narrative of the Life of a Rolling Stone will be drawn out too long +for the patience of my readers. + +We landed in New Orleans, were paid what money was due to us, and +disbanded--each receiving a bounty warrant for one hundred and sixty +acres of land. + +In the company to which I belonged, were some of my countrymen, who had +been in the English army; and I often conversed with them, as to the +comparative treatment of the soldiers of the English and American +armies. I shall give the conclusion we came to upon this subject. + +A majority of English soldiers have relatives whom they visit and with +whom they correspond. The reader will easily understand that when such +is the case, thousands of families in the United Kingdom have more than +a national interest in the welfare of the army, and the manner its +soldiers are treated. The sympathies of the people are with them; and a +soldier, who may be ill-used, has the whole nation to advocate his +cause. + +The majority of American regular soldiers are isolated beings--so far as +home and friends are concerned--and about the only interest the nation +at large takes in their welfare is, that they do their duty, and earn +their pay. + +This difference is understood by the soldiers of both armies; and it has +its effect on their character. + +In England, the army is regarded as an important part of the nation. + +In the United States, it is not; but only as a certain assemblage of +men, employed by the people to do a certain work--for which they receive +good wages, and plenty of food: for in these respects, the American +soldier has an advantage over the English, almost in the ratio of two to +one! + +Volume One, Chapter IX. + +A FRUITLESS SEARCH. + +There were speculators in New Orleans, engaged in buying land warrants +from the returning volunteers. I sold mine to one of them, for one +hundred and ten dollars. Besides this amount, I had about fifty dollars +saved from my pay. + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +I shall now have the pleasure of recording the fact that I made one move +in the right direction. I set sail for my childhood's home. + +Conscience had long troubled me, for having neglected to look after the +welfare of my relatives; and I embarked for Dublin with a mind gratified +by the reflection that I was once more on the path of duty. + +So much pleasure did this give me, that I resolved ever after to follow +the guiding of reason, as to my future course in life. The right course +is seldom more difficult to pursue than the wrong one, while the wear +and tear of spirit in pursuing it is much easier. + +How many strange thoughts rushed into my brain--how many interrogations +offered themselves to my mind, as we dropped anchor in Dublin Bay. +Should I find my mother living? Should I know my brother William and my +sister Martha? What had become of Mr Leary? Should I have to kill +him? + +Such questions, with many others of a similar nature, coursed through my +soul while proceeding towards the city. + +I hurried through the streets, without allowing anything to distract my +thoughts from these themes. I reached the house that had been the home +of my childhood. + +At the door, I paused to recover from an unusual amount of excitement; +but did not succeed in quelling the tumultuous emotions that thrilled my +spirit with an intensity I had never experienced before. + +I looked cautiously into the shop. It was no longer a saddle and +harness-maker's, but a dingy depot for vending potatoes, cabbages, and +coals! + +I thought a great change must suddenly have taken place in the whole +city of Dublin. + +It did not occur to me, that six years was a sufficient period of time +for turning a saddler's shop into a greengrocer's--without any reason +for being surprised at the transformation. + +I stepped inside; and inquired of a stout, red-haired woman the +whereabouts of a Mrs Stone, who formerly occupied the premises. The +woman had never heard of such a person! + +It suddenly occurred to me--and I heaved a sigh at the recollection-- +that my mother's name was not _Stone_, but that she was _Mrs Leary_. + +I renewed my inquiry, substituting the latter name. + +"Mistress Leary?" said the vulgar-looking hag before me, "lift here five +year ago." + +The vendor of cabbages did not know where Mrs Leary had gone. Neither +did I; and this knowledge, or rather absence of knowledge, produced +within me a train of reflections that were new and peculiar. + +I turned out of the house, and walked mechanically up the street. A +familiar name met my half-vacant gaze. It was painted on a sign, over +the door of a cheese-monger's shop--Michael Brady. + +I remembered that Mrs Brady, the wife of the man whose name I saw, was +the intimate acquaintance and friend of my mother. Perhaps, I might +learn something from her; but what, I almost feared to ascertain. + +I went into the shop, and found Mrs Brady seated among her cheeses. +She did not look a day older than when I last saw her. When asked, if +she remembered ever having seen me before, she gazed at me for some +time, and made answer in the negative. + +I was not astonished at her reply. I could easily understand her +stupidity; my appearance must have greatly altered since she had seen me +last. + +"Do you remember the name of Rowland Stone?" I asked. + +"What! the little Rolling Stone?" she exclaimed, gazing at me again. "I +do believe you are," said she, "Now when I look at you, I can see it is. +How you have changed!" + +"What has become of my mother?" I cried out, too impatient to listen +longer to her exclamatory reflections. + +"Poor woman!" answered Mrs Brady, "that's what I have wished to know +for many years." + +I was called upon to exercise the virtue of patience--while trying to +obtain from Mrs Brady what information she could give concerning my +family. With much time spent and many questions put, I obtained from +her the following particulars: + +After my departure, Mr Leary became very dissipated, and used to get +drunk every day. Whenever he sold anything out of the shop, he would go +to a public-house, and stay there until the money obtained for the +article was spent. He would then return, abuse my mother, beat the +children, take something else out of the shop; and pawn it for more +money to spend in drink or dissipation. This game he had continued, +until there was nothing left in the establishment that Mr Leary could +sell for a shilling. + +The neighbours remonstrated with my mother for allowing him to proceed +in this manner; but the deluded woman seemed to think that everything +done by her husband was right; and was even offended with her friends +for interfering. No arguments could persuade her that Mr Leary was +conducting himself in an improper manner. She appeared to think that +the drunken blackguard was one of the best men that ever lived; and that +she had been exceedingly fortunate in obtaining him for a husband! + +When Mr Leary had disposed of everything in the shop, and had spent the +proceeds in drink, he absconded--leaving my mother, brother and sister +to suffer for the necessaries of life. + +Instead of being gratified at getting clear of the scoundrel, my mother +was nearly heart-broken to think he had deserted her! + +Her first thought was to find out where he had gone. He had served his +apprenticeship in Liverpool; and my mother had reasons to believe that +he had betaken himself thither. The house in which she resided, had +been leased by my father for a long term. At the time Mr Leary +deserted her, the lease had several years to run. Since the time when +it had been taken, rents in the neighbourhood had greatly risen in +value; and my mother was able to sell the lease for ninety pounds. +Obtaining this sum in cash, she left Dublin with her children; and +proceeded to Liverpool to find Mr Leary, as Mrs Brady said, that she +might give him the money to spend in drink! + +My mother's friends had advised her to remain in Dublin; and told her +that she should be thankful her husband had deserted her; but their +advice was either unheeded, or scornfully rejected. In spite of all +remonstrance, she took her departure for Liverpool; and Mrs Brady had +never heard of her again. + +I was intensely interested in what was told me by Mrs Brady. For +awhile, I believed that my poor beguiled parent deserved her fate, +however bad it may have been; and I was half inclined to search for her +no more. But when I came to reflect that nearly five years had elapsed +since she left Dublin, I fancied that, if unfortunately successful in +finding Mr Leary, she might by this time have recovered from her +strange infatuation concerning him. Though for her folly, she deserved +almost any fate Mr Leary might bring upon her, I believed it to be my +duty to see her once more. Besides, I had a strong desire to renew the +rudely broken links of affection, that had existed between myself and my +sister and brother. + +When a boy, I was very proud of having a sister like little Martha, she +was so kind, affectionate, and beautiful. And William, too, I +remembered him with a brother's fondness. Although my mother had acted +ever so foolishly, it was not the less my duty to look after her. +Perhaps, for her unaccountable delusion, she had been by this time +sufficiently punished. It was my desire to find her, if possible, and +learn if such was the case. She was my mother, and I had no other wish +than to act towards her as a son. I determined, therefore, to proceed +to Liverpool. + +I may confess that something more than duty summoned me thither-- +something even stronger than filial affection. It was the design of +visiting Mrs Hyland--or, rather her daughter. I knew there would be +danger to my happiness in again seeing Lenore; and I strove to +strengthen my resolution by the belief that I was acting under a call of +duty. + +I had been with Captain Hyland when he died. I alone saw his eyes +closed in death, and alone followed him to the grave. Why should I not +visit his wife and child? + +I could fancy that that pressure of the hand given me by the Captain in +his dying struggle, was a silent command to me--to carry to them his +last blessing. + +Besides, Mrs Hyland had been very kind to myself; and during my sojourn +in Liverpool, had made her home to me both welcome and pleasant. Why +should I refrain from seeing her again--simply because her daughter was +beautiful? I could think of no sufficient reason for denying myself the +pleasure. The dread of its leading to pain was not enough to deter me; +and I resolved to renew my acquaintance with Lenore. + +Before leaving Dublin, I tried to get some information that would aid me +in my search after Mr Leary and my relatives; but was unsuccessful. +None of Mr Leary's former acquaintances could give me any intelligence +as to what part of the city of Liverpool he might be found in. I could +only learn that my mother, before leaving, had some knowledge to guide +her, which had probably been obtained, sometime or other, from Mr Leary +himself. + +In my search, therefore, I should have no other traces than such as +chance might throw in my way. + +Volume One, Chapter X. + +A CHILLING RECEPTION. + +I do not like Liverpool as a city; and less do I admire a majority of +its citizens. Too many of them are striving to live on what they can +obtain from transient sojourners. Being the greatest shipping port in +the United Kingdom--and that from which most emigrants take their +departure--it affords its inhabitants too easy opportunities for +exercising their skill--in obtaining the greatest amount of money for +the least amount of service--opportunities of which many of them are not +slow to avail themselves. + +My dislike to the people of Liverpool may perhaps, arise from the fact +that I claim to be a sailor; and that thousands of people in that great +seaport--from beggars, thieves, and the like who crowd its crooked, +narrow, dirty streets in search of a living, up to merchants, agents, +and ship-owners--imagine that there is no harm in taking advantage of a +sailor, and, under this belief, seldom lose an opportunity of doing so. + +The first thing I did after arriving in this precious seaport, was to +possess myself of a city directory, and make a list of all the saddle +and harness-makers in the place--putting down the address of each +opposite his name. + +I then wrote a note to each of them--requesting, that if they knew +anything of a journeyman saddler named Matthew Leary, they would have +the goodness to communicate with me; if not, no answer to my note would +be required. + +Having completed this interesting correspondence--which occupied me the +whole of a day--I repaired to the residence of Mrs Hyland. There had +been no change there. I found her still living in the same house, where +years before, I had parted with her and her daughter. + +I was conducted into the drawing-room; and the next instant one of the +most beautiful creatures man ever beheld, stood before me. + +Lenore was beautiful when a child; and time had only developed her young +charms into the perfection of feminine loveliness. To me, her beauty +transcended everything I had ever seen; although I had been in Dublin, +New Orleans, and Mexico--three places which are not the least favoured +with the light of woman's loveliness. + +Lenore was now sixteen years of age, and looked neither more nor less. +The only description I can give of her is that there was nothing +remarkable about her, but her beauty. I can give no particulars of how +she appeared. If asked the colour of her hair and eyes, I should have +been unable to tell; I only knew that she was beautiful. + +I was painfully disappointed at the reception she gave me. She did not +meet me with those manifestations of friendship I had anticipated. It +was true that I had been a long time away; and her friendship towards me +might have become cooled by my protracted absence. But this was a +painful consideration. I endeavoured to dismiss it--at the same time I +strove to awaken within her the memories of our old companionship. + +To my chagrin, I saw that I was unsuccessful. She seemed to labour +under some exciting emotion; and I could not help fancying that it was +of a painful character. + +Her whole behaviour was a mystery to me, because so different from what +it had formerly been, or what I had hoped to find it. + +I had left Lenore when she was but little more than a child, and she was +now a young lady. + +In the three years that had intervened, there was reason for me to +expect some change in her character. With her mother, no change I +presumed could have taken place. I left Mrs Hyland a woman; and such I +should find her, only three years older. In her I expected to meet a +friend, as I had left her. She entered the room. I was again doomed to +disappointment! + +She received me with even more coldness than had been exhibited by +Lenore. She did not even offer me her hand; but took a seat, and with a +more unpleasant expression than I had ever before observed on her face, +she waited apparently with impatience for what I might have to say. + +The sensitive feelings of my soul had never been so cruelly wounded. I +was in an agony of anger and disappointment; and unable any longer to +endure the painful excitement of my emotions, I uttered a few +common-place speeches, and hastily withdrew from their presence. + +What could their conduct mean? In the excited state of my thoughts, I +was unable to form even a conjecture, that seemed in any way consistent +with my knowledge of their previous character. + +It might be that when Lenore was a child, and I was a boy, they had seen +no harm in befriending and being kind to me; but now that Lenore was a +young lady, and I a man--a sailor, too--they might have reasons for not +having any further acquaintance with me. + +Could it be that they were endued with that selfishness--in this world +possessed by so many? That they had been my friends only because +Captain Hyland was my protector--to fall away from me now, that his +protection could be no longer extended to me? + +I could hardly think this possible: for it would be so much out of +keeping with all that I had ever known of the character either of Mrs +Hyland or her daughter. + +I had long anticipated great pleasure in revisiting them; and had +thought when again in their presence I should be with friends. Never +had I been so cruelly disappointed; and for awhile I fancied that I +should never care to meet with old acquaintances again. + +I am capable of forming strong attachments. I had done so for Mrs +Hyland and her daughter, and their chill reception had the effect of +causing me to pass a sleepless night. + +In the morning, I was able to reflect with a little more coolness, as +well as clearness. A cause, perhaps _the_ cause, of their strange +conduct suddenly suggested itself to my mind. + +Adkins, the first mate of the ship Lenore, had been, and, no doubt, +still was--my enemy. He had turned me out of the ship in New Orleans; +and had, in all likelihood, on his arrival in Liverpool, poisoned the +mind of Mrs Hyland, by some falsehood, of which I was the victim. I +knew the scoundrel to be capable of doing this, or any other base +action. + +There was a consolation in the thought that this explanation might be +the real one, and for a while it restored the tranquillity of my spirit. + +I would see them again, demand an explanation; and if my suspicions +proved true, I could refute any change made against me--so as once more +to make them my friends. + +I did not desire their friendship from any personal motives. It might +not now be worth the trouble of having it restored; but in memory of +their past kindness, and out of regard for my own character, I could not +leave them labouring under the impression that I had been ungrateful. + +Alas! there was a deeper motive for my desiring an explanation. Their +friendship was worth restoring. It was of no use my endeavouring to +think otherwise. The friendship of a beautiful creature like Lenore was +worth every thing. The world to me would be worthless without it. I +was already wretched at the thought of having lost her good opinion. I +must again establish myself in it, or failing, become more wretched +still. + +The next day, I returned to the residence of Mrs Hyland. I saw her +seated near the window, as I approached the house. I saw her arise, and +retire out of sight--evidently after recognising me! + +I rang the bell. The door was opened by a servant--who, without waiting +to be interrogated, informed me that neither Mrs nor Miss Hyland were +at home! + +I pushed the door open, passed the astonished domestic, entered the +hall; and stepped unceremoniously into the apartment--in the window of +which I had seen Mrs Hyland. + +No one was inside--excepting the servant, who had officially followed +me. I turned to her, and said in a tone savouring of command: + +"Tell Mrs Hyland that Mr Rowland Stone is here, and will not leave +until he has seen her." + +The girl retired, and soon after Mrs Hyland entered the room. She did +not speak; but waited to hear what I had to say. + +"Mrs Hyland," I began, "I am too well acquainted with you, and respect +you too much, to believe that I am treated in the manner I have been, +without a good cause. Conscious of having done nothing intentionally to +injure you, or yours, I have returned to demand the reason why your +conduct towards me has undergone such a change. You once used to +receive me here as though I was your own son. What have I done to +forfeit your friendship?" + +"If your own conscience does not accuse you," she answered, "it is not +necessary for me to give you any explanation, for you might not +understand it. But there is one thing that I hope you _will_ +understand: and that is, that your visits here are no longer either +welcome or desirable." + +"I learnt that much yesterday," said I, imitating in a slight degree the +air of sneering indifference, in which Mrs Hyland addressed me. +"To-day I have called for an explanation. Your own words imply that I +was once welcome; and I wish to know why such is no longer the case." + +"The explanation is then, that you have proved unworthy of our +friendship. There is no explanation that _you_ can give, that will +remove the impression from my mind that you have been guilty of +ingratitude and dishonesty towards those who were your best friends; and +I do not wish to be pained by listening to any attempt you may make at +an apology." + +I became excited. Had the speaker been a man, my excitement would have +assumed the shape of anger. + +"I only ask," I replied, endeavouring, as much as possible, to control +my feelings, "I only ask, what justice to you, as well as myself, +demands you to give. All I require is an explanation; and I will not +leave the house, until I have had it. I insist upon knowing of what I +am accused." + +Mrs Hyland, apparently in high displeasure at the tone I had assumed, +turned suddenly away from me, and glided out of the room. + +To calm my excitement, I took up a paper, and read, or attempted to +read. + +For nearly half an hour I continued this half involuntary occupation. +At the end of that time, I stepped up to the fire-place, caught hold of +the bell pull, and rang the bell. + +"Tell Miss Lenore," said I, when the servant made her appearance, "that +I wish to see her; and that all the policemen in Liverpool cannot put me +out of this house, until I have done so." + +The girl flounced back through the door; and shortly after Lenore, with +half of a smile on her beautiful face, entered the room. + +She appeared less reserved than on the interview of the day before; and, +if possible, more lovely. I was too happy to interpret from her +deportment, that she had not yet entirely forgotten the past; and that +what I now wished to know, she would not hesitate to reveal. + +"Lenore," said I, as she entered, "in you I hope still to find a +friend--notwithstanding the coldness with which you have treated me; and +from you I demand an explanation." + +"The only explanation I can give," said she, "is, that mamma and I have +probably been deceived. There is one who has accused you of +ingratitude, and other crimes as bad--perhaps worse." + +"Adkins!" I exclaimed. "It is Adkins, the first mate of the `Lenore!'" + +"Yes, it is he who has brought the accusation; and, unfortunately, +whether false or no, your conduct has been some evidence of the truth of +the story he has told us. Oh! Rowland, it was hard to believe you +guilty of ingratitude and crime; but your long absence, unexplained as +it was, gave colour to what has been alleged against you. You have +never written to us: and it will be nearly impossible for you to be +again reinstated in the good opinion of my mother." + +"In yours, Lenore?" + +She blushingly held down her head, without making reply. + +"Will you tell me of what I am accused?" I asked. + +"I will," she answered. "And, Rowland, before I hear one word of +explanation from you learn this; I cannot believe you guilty of any +wrong. I have been too well acquainted with you to believe that you +could possibly act, under any circumstances, as you have been accused of +doing. It is not in your nature." + +"Thank you, Lenore!" said I, with a fervour I could not restrain myself +from showing. "You are now as you have ever been, more beautiful than +anything in the world, and wise as you are beautiful." + +"Do not talk thus, Rowland! Nothing but your own words can ever change +the opinion I had formed of your character--long ago, when we were both +children. I will tell you why my mother is displeased with you. There +are more reasons than one. First, when my father died in New Orleans, +Mr Adkins brought back the ship; and you did not return in it. We were +surprised at this; and called Mr Adkins to account for not bringing you +home. He did not appear willing to give us any satisfaction concerning +you; but we would insist on having it; and then, with apparent +reluctance, he stated that he had not wished to say anything against +you--fearing that from our known friendship for you, it might be +unpleasant for us to hear it. He then told us, that you had not only +neglected, and proved cruel to my father--when on his death-bed--but, +that, as soon as it became certain there was no hope of his recovery, +you behaved as though you thought it no longer worth while to trouble +yourself with a man, who could not live to repay you. He said that you +had previously deserted from the ship, and left my father-- +notwithstanding his earnest entreaties that you should remain with him. +It cannot be true. I know it cannot be true; but so long as my mother +thinks there is a particle of truth in Mr Adkins' statement, she will +never forgive you. Your accuser has also stated that when you left the +ship, you took with you what was not your own; but this he did not tell +us until several months had elapsed, and there appeared no probability +of your returning." + +"What has become of Mr Adkins now?" I asked. + +"He is on a voyage to New Orleans in the `Lenore.' He obtained my +mother's confidence, and is now in command of the ship. Lately he has +been trying to make himself more disagreeable to myself--by professing +for me--what he, perhaps, believes to be an affection. Oh! it is too +unpleasant to dwell upon. My mother listens, I fear, too consentingly, +to all he has to say: for she is grateful to him for his kindness to my +father before he died--and for the interest he appears ever since to +have taken in our welfare. His manner towards us has greatly changed of +late. Indeed, he acts as if he were the head of our family, and the +owner of the vessel. I believe he is expected to return to Liverpool at +any time: as the time for the voyage has expired, and the ship has been +due for some days." + +"I wish he were in Liverpool _now_" said I. "When he does arrive, I +will make him prove himself a liar. Lenore! I have ever been treated +with the greatest kindness by your father and mother. It is not in my +nature to be either ungrateful or dishonest. Your father's ship was my +home, I did not leave that home without good reason. I was turned out +of it by the very villain who has accused me. I shall stay in Liverpool +until he returns; and when I have exposed him, and proved myself still +worthy of your friendship, I shall again go forth upon the world with a +light heart, as I can with a clear conscience." + +Requesting Lenore to tell her mother that she had been deceived--and +that I should stay in Liverpool till I proved that such was the case--I +arose to take my departure. I lingered only to add: that I would not +again annoy them with my presence until the return of the ship--when I +should challenge Adkins to appear before them, and prove him guilty of +the very crimes he had charged against myself--ingratitude and +dishonesty. + +With this promise did I close my interview with Lenore. + +Volume One, Chapter XI. + +ON THE TRACK OF MR LEARY. + +After leaving Mrs Hyland's house, I had much to occupy my thoughts. +The principal subject that engaged their attention was the wonderful +beauty of Lenore. + +She was beautiful; and she professed to be my friend. But while I felt +a consoling pride in possessing the friendship of one so lovely, there +was much that was unpleasant in the thought that her mother could, even +for an instant, have believed me guilty of the grave charges brought +against me by Adkins. + +To be thought ungrateful by one who had treated me with so much +kindness, and more especially one who was the mother of Lenore, was a +reflection full of bitterness. + +Adkins had now done enough to make me his deadly enemy. He had never +used me well aboard ship; and would have caused me still more trouble +there had he not been restrained by his fear of Captain Hyland. He had +turned me out of the ship in New Orleans. He had returned to Liverpool, +and accused me of the basest of crimes. + +But what was still more unpleasant to dwell upon; he was endeavouring to +deprive me of what was of almost equal consequence with my character--of +her whom I had hoped might one day become my wife. Yes, there could be +no doubt of the fact. He was trying to win Lenore. + +This last I could scarce look upon as a crime on his part. To aspire to +win one so lovely was no crime; and one who should do so would only be +acting as Nature commanded. + +But at that time, I did not view it in this light; and the idea of +Edward Adkins aspiring to the hand of Lenore Hyland was proof to me that +he was the vilest wretch that ever encumbered the earth. + +For a while, I forgot my hatred for Mr Leary in my dislike to Mr +Adkins. + +Hatred with me had never before reached a thirst for revenge; but to +this degree of hostility had it attained, within an hour after leaving +Lenore. + +But what could I do? When my enemy returned, I could confront him in +presence of Lenore and her mother. I could make one statement, which he +would certainly contradict by making another. I was in a country where +the laws do not allow a man any chance of obtaining redress for the +cruellest wrong, or insult, he may suffer. + +I passed that night, as the preceding one, without sleep. + +The day after that on which I had addressed my letters to the saddle and +harness-makers of Liverpool, I received answers from two of them--both +men who had been acquainted with Mr Leary. + +I lost no time in calling upon these correspondents. + +One of them frankly informed me that Mr Leary's time, as an apprentice, +had been served in his shop, that he did not think him exactly honest; +and had been only too glad to get rid of him. He had not seen or heard +anything of Mr Leary for seven years; and hoped never to behold that +individual again. He had taken Leary, when a boy, from the work-house; +and believed he had no relatives, who would know where he was to be +found. + +I called on the other saddler, and learnt from him that Mr Leary, after +having served his time, had worked in his establishment as a journeyman, +though only for a very short while. Leary had left him to go to Dublin; +but had returned three or four years afterwards, and had again been +employed by him for a few days. On leaving the second time, Mr Leary +had engaged to go out to New South Wales, with a saddle and +harness-maker from that colony, who, as the Liverpool tradesman +laughingly stated, had been so foolish as to pay for Leary's passage, in +the hope of being repaid by his services after he got there. + +With painful interest, I inquired, whether Mr Leary had taken along +with him to Australia a wife and family. + +"No," said the saddler, "nothing of the kind. He was not able to do +that: since he had to tell a thousand lies to induce the saddler to take +himself. But I remember, there was a woman from Dublin inquiring for +him after he had sailed; and she, poor creature, appeared well nigh +heart-broken, when she learnt that he had gone without her. I suppose +she must have been his wife." + +The saddler had heard nothing since from either Leary or the woman. + +A part of this intelligence was very satisfactory. My mother had _not_ +found Mr Leary in Liverpool, and that wretch was now far away. + +But where was my mother? Where had she and her youngest children been +for the last five years? How should I learn their fate? + +Surely I had plenty of work before me. My relatives were to be found; +and this would be no easy task: since I had not the slightest clue to +guide me in the search. I had to convince Mrs Hyland that I was still +worthy of her friendship. I had to obtain revenge on my enemy Adkins; +and a greater task than all would still remain. I had to win, or forget +Lenore. + +My last interview with her, had revived within my mind the sweet +remembrances of the past, along with thoughts of the present, and dreams +of the future--thoughts and dreams that would not again sleep. A mental +vision of her loveliness was constantly before me. + +What was I to do first? I had but little money in my pockets; and could +not leave Liverpool at present to obtain more. I must stay until the +return of Adkins; and it would not do to spend my last shilling in idly +waiting. + +Without friends I could only get such occupation, as required the +severest labour to perform; but, fortunately for that, I had the will, +health, and strength I feel a pride in stating, that I acted, as a man +should under the circumstances. Instead of strolling about in hopeless +idleness, I went to the docks, and obtained labourer's work. + +For two weeks I worked at handling cotton bales, and bags of sugar. The +toil was humble, and the pay for it was proportionately small; but duty +commanded me, and I worked on, cheered by hope, and without repining at +my fate. + +Sometimes in the evening, I would walk up and down the street in front +of the residence of Mrs Hyland--with the hope of seeing Lenore, or with +the knowledge of being near her, whether she might be seen or not. I +found pleasure even in this. + +I did not like to call on her again--until I had given her mother some +proof of my innocence. + +Sometimes it occurred to me to ask myself the question, why should I see +her more, even after I had cleared myself? She was beautiful, +dangerously beautiful; and I was friendless, homeless, and without +fortune. Why should I endanger my future peace of mind, by becoming +more and more infatuated with one whose heart I could scarce hope ever +to possess? + +Duty as well as reason told me to pursue the search for my relatives, +and see Lenore Hyland no more. But where is the heart love-stricken +that will listen to the call, either of reason, or duty? + +Mine did not, and could not. It was deaf to such an appeal. I could +think only of Lenore, yearn to see her again--to speak with her--to +listen to her--to love her! + +Volume One, Chapter XII. + +AN ENCOUNTER WITH A COWARD. + +About a week after my interview with Mrs Hyland and her daughter, I saw +what I had been daily looking for--a notice in one of the Liverpool +papers, under the head of "Shipping Intelligence," announcing the +arrival of the ship "Lenore," Captain Adkins, from New Orleans. + +After reading the notice, I hastily flung aside the paper; and proceeded +direct to the docks--where I found the vessel had already arrived. + +As I might have expected, Adkins was not aboard. He had landed several +hours before, while the ship was still in the river. Having ascertained +the name of the hotel where he was in the habit of staying, while in +Liverpool, I lost no time loitering on board the ship, but went in +search of him. On reaching the hotel, I found that he had slept there +the night before, but had gone out after breakfast in the morning. + +My conjecture was, that he would be found at the house of Mrs Hyland; +and it now occurred to me that I had been wonderfully stupid in not +looking for him there in the first instance. + +From the hotel, I proceeded direct to Mrs Hyland's residence, as I +walked along, anticipating much pleasure in the task of compelling +Adkins to refute his own falsehoods. I feared, however, that shame +would hinder him telling the truth; and that even in my presence he +would stick to his infamous story. I feared it, because I did not wish +to kill him. + +As I had conjectured, he was visiting at Mrs Hyland's. Just as I +reached the door, Adkins was coming out. + +I controlled my temper as well as I could. I did not wish to defeat my +purpose by an exhibition of idle anger. + +"Good morning Mr Adkins!" said I. "We meet again; and I assure you, on +my part, with profound pleasure." + +He would have passed without speaking, had I not placed my body so as to +block the way. + +"Who the devil are you; and what do you want?" he asked, with a bullying +tone and air that I had often known him assume before. + +"I am Rowland Stone," I answered, "and I wish to see you on a matter of +considerable importance." + +"You see me then! what the important business?" + +"It can only be made known in the presence of Mrs Hyland and her +daughter." + +"Mrs Hyland does not wish to see you," said Adkins, "and much less her +daughter, I should think. As for myself, I want nothing to do with +you." + +"I can believe the latter part of your assertions," I answered, "but it +is necessary that we should sometimes do what may not be exactly +agreeable to us. If there is a spark of manhood in you, walk back into +the house, and repeat to Mrs Hyland in my presence, what you have said +behind my back." + +"I shall not take the trouble to do any thing of the kind. I tell you +again, I want nothing to say to you. Give me the way!" + +As Adkins said this, he made a gesture as if he intended to pass me. + +"I'll give you the way to hell," said I, "unless you do as I bid you," +and I caught him by the collar to drag him into the house. + +He resisted this attempt by aiming a blow at me, which I returned with +such interest, that while I still kept my legs, the captain of the +"Lenore" missed his; and, staggering backward, he fell heavily on the +door-step. + +I had now lost all command of myself; and, after ringing the bell, to +have the door re-opened, I seized him by the hair of the head--for the +purpose of hauling him inside. + +My purpose would have been accomplished. I would have broken down the +door, dragged him into the house, confronted him with Mrs Hyland, and +made him swallow his false words, but for the arrival of a trio of +policemen. + +I was not overcome until after a long struggle, in which the exertions +of the three policemen, Adkins himself, and another man, who was passing +at the time, were united against me. It ended in their putting me in +irons. + +As I was led away from the house, I noticed that Mrs Hyland and Lenore +were both at the window--where, I had no doubt, they had been witnesses +of the affray. + +I was at once taken to a police station, and locked up in one of its +cells. + +Next morning I was brought before a magistrate. Adkins was there to +prosecute. The three policemen were present as witnesses, as also the +Liverpool citizen, who had aided in putting me in irons. + +After evidence was heard against me, I was called upon for my defence. +I had nothing to say to the charge. + +The magistrate emphatically declared that a case of a more unprovoked +assault had never been brought before him; and that he did not think the +ends of justice would be met by the infliction of a fine. He therefore +sentenced me to fourteen days' imprisonment. + +I thought none the less of myself for that; and, under other +circumstances, two weeks in a prison might not have been passed +unpleasantly. But it was bitterness to reflect, that while I was +passing my time in the companionship of petty thieves, Edward Adkins was +daily visiting Lenore. + +Fourteen days must I pass as a prisoner, while my vile enemy would be +enjoying the society of Mrs Hyland and her daughter--no doubt doing all +he could to blacken my character, and lower me still further in their +estimation! + +The reflection was anything but pleasant, though I might have partly +consoled myself by another: that I was much better off inside the gaol, +than millions of my fellow countrymen outside of it. Had I committed +some crime, that really deserved this confinement, then would I, indeed, +have felt really wretched; but conscience accused me of no wrong; and I +was not without those tranquillising emotions ever springing from a +sense of rectitude and innocence. + +I was not afraid that Adkins would gain any great advantage over me in +winning the affections of Lenore--even though aided by the influence of +her mother. It was not that which troubled me during my sojourn within +the walls of a prison. If Lenore should prove capable of choosing such +a man for her husband, I need not regret her loss. My spirit was more +harassed by the thought: that wrong should have thus triumphed--that +Adkins should be in the society of Lenore, when he should have been in +my place in the prison, and I in his. + +After I had passed eight days of my confinement, I was surprised one +morning by the announcement that I was to receive visitors. + +Two persons had called, and inquired for Rowland Stone. They were +outside--waiting to be admitted to my cell. + +Both proved to be old acquaintances. One was a man named Wilton, who +had been the second mate of the ship "Lenore," under Captain Hyland. +The other was Mason, the steward of the same ship. + +As both these men had been very kind to me when I was in the ship, I was +pleased to see them; but much more so, when I learnt to whom I was +indebted for their visit. Mason told me that he was still steward of +the "Lenore," and that Miss Hyland had come to him on board: for the +purpose of obtaining a true account of the circumstances that stood +between me and Adkins. + +"I was glad to learn, Rowley, that you had turned up again," said Mason, +"but at the same time, sorry to hear of your present trouble. I at once +resolved to try and get you out of at least a part of it, although I may +lose my situation by doing so. I told Miss Hyland, plainly enough, that +Adkins was a villain, and that I could prove it. I promised her that I +would come and see you. Wilton here, is now the skipper of a tug-boat +on the river, and I brought him along--knowing that he can lend a hand +to help us." + +"Nothing can please me more than to see Adkins lose the command of the +`Lenore,'" interposed Wilton, "for I know that he is not an honest man; +and that he has been all along robbing the widow. We must decide on +some plan to convince Mrs Hyland, that she is placing confidence in a +scoundrel." + +Wilton and Mason remained with me nearly an hour; and it was decided +that nothing should be done openly, until my term of imprisonment should +expire. We were then to ascertain when Adkins would be on a visit to +Mrs Hyland's house, when we should all three go together, meet him +there, and tell Mrs Hyland the whole story of his falsehood and +dishonesty. + +"Should she not believe us, and still continue to trust him," said +Wilton, "then she deserves to be robbed, that's my way of thinking." + +I thought the same, so far as robbing her of her worldly wealth; but it +was bitter to believe that the rascal might also rob her of a jewel more +priceless than all else--of Lenore. But I could not believe that the +most insane folly on her part would deserve so extreme a punishment, as +that of having Adkins for a son-in-law! + +Mason gave me his address, so did Wilton, and I promised to call on +them, as soon as I should be set at liberty. + +They left me happy, and hopeful. I was happy, not because I was young, +and in good health--not because I had found friends who would aid me in +subduing an enemy; but because the beautiful Lenore had interested +herself in my misfortunes, and was trying to remove them. + +That was a theme for many long and pleasant reveries, which while they +rendered me impatient to be free, at the same time enabled me to pass +the remainder of my term of imprisonment, with but slight regard for the +many petty annoyances and discomforts of the situation. + +I accepted my liberty when it was at length given me; and on the same +day went to visit Mason and Wilton. + +What had been done already by Lenore, left me under the impression that +she would still further aid me in establishing the truth. I felt +confident, that she would not object to letting us know on what day and +hour we might meet Adkins at her mother's house; and with this +confidence, I wrote a note to her, containing the request that she would +do so. Then, in pleasant expectation of soon having an opportunity of +clearing my character, I awaited the answer. + +Volume One, Chapter XIII. + +A RECKONING UP. + +Lenore did not disappoint me. Two days after getting out of the prison, +I received her reply--informing me that Adkins would be at her mother's +house the next day, and advising me to call with my friends, about +half-past ten. I had made known to her the object of my desire to meet +him. + +After receiving her note, I went immediately to Mason and Wilton; and we +appointed a place of rendezvous for the next morning. + +That evening, I was as uneasy as the commander-in-chief of an army on +the eve of a great battle. I had an enemy to confront and conquer--a +reputation already sullied to restore to its former brightness. + +I could not help some anxiety as to the result. + +In the morning, I met my friends at the appointed place; and as the +clock struck ten, we started for the residence of Mrs Hyland. + +As we came within sight of the house, I perceived Lenore at the window. +She recognised us, rose from her seat, and disappeared towards the back +of the room. When I rang the bell, the door was opened by herself. + +Without hesitating, she conducted us all three into the parlour, where +we found Adkins and Mrs Hyland. + +The latter appeared to be no little astonished by our unexpected +entrance; but as for Adkins himself, he looked more like a frightened +maniac than a man. + +"What does this mean?" exclaimed Mrs Hyland, in a voice that expressed +more alarm than indignation. + +"These gentlemen have called to see you on business, mother," said her +daughter. "There is nothing to fear from them. They are our friends." + +Having said this, Lenore requested us to be seated; and we complied. + +Adkins did not speak; but I could read from the play of his features, +that he knew the game was up, and that he had lost. + +"Mrs Hyland," said Wilton, after a short interval of silence, "I have +called here to do what I believe to be a duty, and which I ought to have +done long ago. If I am doing any wrong, it is only through my ignorance +of what's right. I was your husband's friend, and we sailed together, +for nine years or thereabouts. I was on the ship `Lenore' when Captain +Hyland died, in New Orleans; and I have heard the stories that Mr +Adkins here has told about this young man. Those stories are false. +When in New Orleans, at the time of your husband's death, Adkins was +most of the time drunk, and neglecting his duty. Rowley did not desert +from the ship, neither did he neglect the captain, but was the only one +of the ship's company with him, or taking care of him, when he died. +Mr Adkins never liked Rowley; and the only reason I can think of for +his not doing so, is just because it is natural for a bad man to dislike +a good one. When Mr Adkins obtained the command of the ship, he would +not let Rowley come aboard again--much less return in her to Liverpool. +I made one voyage with Adkins as first mate after Captain Hyland's +death, and learnt, while making it, that I could not continue with him +any longer--unless I should become nearly as bad as himself. For that +reason I left the ship. + +"Mrs Hyland!" continued Wilton, fixing his eye upon Adkins, and +speaking with determined emphasis, "I have no hesitation in pronouncing +Mr Adkins to be a wicked, deceitful man, who has been robbing you under +the cloak of friendship; and still continues to rob you." + +"These men have formed a conspiracy to ruin me!" cried Adkins, springing +to his feet. "I suppose they will succeed in doing it. Three men and +one woman are more than I can contend against!" + +Mrs Hyland paid no attention to this remark; but, turning to Mason, +said, "I believe that you are Mr Mason, the steward of the `Lenore.' +What have you to say?" + +"I have to state that all Mr Wilton has told you, is true," said Mason. +"Rowley, to my knowledge, has never done anything to forfeit your +friendship. I have long known that Captain Adkins was a scoundrel; and +my desire to expose him--overcome by the fact that I have a large family +to support, and was afraid of losing my situation--has caused me to pass +many a sleepless hour. I had made up my mind not to go another voyage +along with him--before learning that my testimony was wanted in aid of +Rowley here. On hearing that he had robbed the young man--not only of +his old friends, but of his liberty--I no longer hesitated about +exposing him. He is a dishonest villain; and I can prove it by having +the ship's accounts overhauled." + +"Go on! go on!" cried Adkins. "You have it all your own way now. Of +course, my word is nothing." + +"He is telling the truth for once in his life," said Mason to Mrs +Hyland. "For his word _is_ just worth nothing, to any one who knows +him." + +"Now, Rowland," said Mrs Hyland, "what have you to say?" + +"Very little," I answered. "I did not wish you to think ill of me. +There is nothing that can wound the feelings more than ingratitude; and +the kindness with which you once treated me, was the reason why I have +been so desirous of proving to you that I have not been ungrateful. You +have now evidence that will enable you to judge between Adkins and +myself; and after this interview, I will trouble you no more, for I do +not desire to insist upon a renewal of the friendship you have +suspected. I only wished you to know that I had given you no cause for +discontinuing it." + +"Now, gentlemen!" said Adkins, "having been amused by all each of you +has to say, I suppose I may be allowed to take my leave of you; and," +said he, turning to Mrs Hyland, "I'll see you again, madam, when you +have not quite so much interesting company to engage your attention." + +He arose, and was moving towards the door. + +"Stop!" shouted Mason, stepping before him. "Mrs Hyland," continued +the steward, "I know enough about this man, and his management of your +business, to justify you in giving him in charge to a policeman. Shall +I call one?" + +For a minute Mrs Hyland was silent. + +I looked at Adkins, and saw that my triumph over him was complete. His +own appearance condemned him; and anyone to have seen him at that +moment--humiliated, cowed, and guilty--would ever after have dreaded +doing wrong; through very fear of looking as he did. + +In truth, he presented a melancholy spectacle: for he had not the +courage to assume even a show of manliness. + +To complete my triumph, and his discomposure, Lenore, who had been all +the while listening with eager interest, and apparent pleasure to what +had been said, cried out, "Let him go, mother, if he will promise never +to come near us again!" + +"Yes, let him go!" repeated Mrs Hyland. "I must think before I can +act." + +Mason opened the door; and Adkins sneaked out in a fashion that was +painful, even for me--his enemy--to behold. After his departure, each +waited for the other to speak. + +The silence was broken by Mrs Hyland, who said: + +"Of you, Mr Wilton, and you, Mr Mason, I have often heard my late +husband speak in the highest terms; and I know of no reason, why I +should not believe what you have told me." + +"With you, Rowland," she continued, turning her eyes upon me, with +something of the old friendly look, "with you, I have been acquainted +many years; and the principal reason I had for doubting your integrity +and truthfulness, was because I thought that, had you possessed the +regard for us, you should have had, you would certainly have come back +after the death of my husband. + +"You did not; and the circumstance, as you will admit, was strong +against you. I have now much reason to believe that I have been +deceived in Adkins; and I do not know whom to trust. I must suppose +that all of you have come here without any ill feeling towards me: for I +know not why you should wish to do me an injury. + +"I have a respect for those in whom Mr Hyland placed confidence. I +have heard him speak well of all of you; and I do not remember now of +anything he ever said that should give me a favourable opinion of +Adkins. Indeed, I never heard Mr Hyland speak much concerning him. It +is my duty to think of the past as well as the present, before I can say +anything more." + +Wilton and Mason both assured Mrs Hyland that they had only acted under +the influence of a sense of duty--inspired by the respect they had for +the memory of her husband. + +We left the house; but not till Mrs Hyland had shaken hands with me, +and at the same time extended to me an invitation to call the next day; +and not till Mrs Hyland's daughter had given me reason to believe that +my visit would be welcome. + +Volume One, Chapter XIV. + +ONCE MORE FRIENDS. + +I did call the next day, and had no particular reason to be dissatisfied +with my reception. + +Mrs Hyland did not meet me in the same motherly manner, she once used +to exhibit; but I did not expect it; and I could not feel displeased at +being admitted on any terms, into the presence of a being so beautiful +as Lenore. + +Neither did _she_ receive me in the same manner she used to do in the +past; but neither was I annoyed by that circumstance. It was necessary +that the child-like innocence and familiarity, once existing between us, +should cease; and it was no chagrin to me to perceive that it had done +so. + +I confessed to Mrs Hyland, that I had acted wrong in not returning to +Liverpool after her husband's death; but I also explained to her how, on +being discharged from the ship, I had felt myself sorely aggrieved; and, +having no longer a home, I had to wander about as circumstances +dictated. I added, of course, that could I have had the least suspicion +that my absence would have been construed into any evidence of crime or +ingratitude, I would have returned long before to refute the calumny. + +Lenore did not try to conceal her pleasure, at seeing her mother and +myself conversing once more as friends. + +"You must not leave us again, Rowland," said she, "for we have not many +friends, and can ill-afford to lose one. See how near we have been to +losing you--all through your being absent." + +"Yes, Rowland," said Mrs Hyland. "My house was once your home; and you +are welcome to make it so again. I shall only be fulfilling the wishes +of my husband, by renewing the intimate friendship that once existed +between us." + +Her invitation to make her house once more my home, I reluctantly +declined. Lenore seemed no longer my sister; and with some sorrow the +conviction forced itself on my mind--that my fate was to love--to love, +yet wander far from the one I loved. + +Lenore was now a young lady. I thought myself a man. As children, we +could no longer live together--no longer dwell under the same roof. +Lenore was too beautiful; and I was too much afflicted with poverty. +Any further acquaintance between us might not contribute to my future +happiness but the contrary. + +I left the house with mingled feelings of pleasure and despair, pleased +to find myself once more restored to the good opinion of Mrs Hyland-- +despairing of being able to resist the fascinations of her daughter's +beauty. + +Every time I gazed upon her fair face, could only add to my misery. I +was young; and as I had been told, good-looking. Lenore and I had been +old friends and playmates. It was possible for me to win her love; but +would it be honourable? + +Would it be a proper return for the kindness of Captain Hyland and his +widow, for me, a penniless "rolling stone," to try to win the affections +of their only child, and subject her to the misery of my own unfortunate +lot? No! I could love Lenore; but I could not act in such an unworthy +manner. + +Then followed the reflection, that Mrs Hyland had some property. Her +home would be mine. She needed a son-in-law to look after the ship; and +I was a seaman. + +These thoughts only stirred within me a feeling of pride, that would not +allow me to receive any advantage of fortune from one I could choose for +a wife. I knew that with all the exertions a man may make--and however +correct his habits may be--he cannot live happily with a wife who brings +into the firm of husband and wife more money than himself. + +Another unpleasant consideration came before me. Why should I be +seeking for reasons against marrying Lenore, when perhaps she might not +consent to marry _me_? Because we were old friends, was no reason why +she should ever think of me as a husband. By trying to make her love +me, I might, as she had said of Mr Adkins, cause her only to hate me. + +The day after my visit to Mrs Hyland and Lenore, I went to see Mason, +the steward, in order that I might thank him for the good word he had +spoken for me--as well as for much kindness he had shown towards me, +when we were shipmates in the `Lenore.' He received me in a cordial +manner, that caused me to think better of mankind, than I had lately +done. In a long conversation I held with him, he told me of many acts +of dishonesty, in the committal of which he had detected Adkins, who, he +said, had been robbing Mrs Hyland in every way he could. + +"Captain Hyland took much trouble in giving you some education," said +he; "why don't you marry the daughter, and take command of the ship?" + +"I am a poor penniless adventurer," I replied, "and dare not aspire to +so much happiness as would be mine, were I to become the husband, as +well as captain, of `Lenore.' I am neither so vain nor ambitious." + +"That's a fact," said Mason. "You have not enough of either. No man +ever did any thing for himself, or any one else, without thinking +something of himself, and making such a trial as you decline to +undertake. He is a lucky man who wins without trying." + +There was truth in what the steward said; but the Hylands had been my +friends, and were so again; and I could not bring myself to abuse the +confidence they had placed in me. I could not speak of love to Lenore, +and so I told the steward. + +In this interview with Mason, I learnt from him that Adkins had +disappeared, and could no more be found! + +"His flight," said Mason, "will be positive proof to Mrs Hyland that he +was unworthy of the confidence she had placed in him. She cannot be too +thankful, that your return has been the means of her discovering his +true character. I would have exposed him long ago, but I did not think +that I could succeed; and that I would only be doing myself an injury-- +in short, ruining my poor family, without the consolation of knowing +that I had also ruined a scoundrel. Thank the Lord for all his mercies! +The villain has been uncloaked at last." + +With this pious thanksgiving ended the interview, between the honest +steward and myself. + +Volume One, Chapter XV. + +LOVE AND POVERTY. + +From that time I called every day to see Lenore and her mother; and each +time came away more hopelessly infatuated. + +My money was gradually growing easier to count--until I found that I had +but a few shillings left, and necessity must soon force me to seek +employment. Of course I contemplated going to sea, and making my living +on board some ship; but I found it impossible to come to a +determination. + +How was I to leave Liverpool, where I could gaze each day on the beauty +that adorned Lenore? + +I could not take my departure until circumstances should compel me. In +order to protract my stay as long as possible, I lived on but one meal +per diem; and as I had also to keep a little money for my lodgings, I +made that meal upon a penny roll. + +Mrs Hyland had determined on giving up the ship--a resolution no doubt +due to the mismanagement, or rather dishonesty, of him who had lately +commanded her. I assisted her in finding a purchaser; and she was very +fortunate in disposing of the vessel at a good price. + +She had plenty of money, and was willing to aid me. But pride prevented +me from accepting of anything but her friendship; and ofttimes did I +appear in the presence of Lenore while suffering the pangs of hunger! +Was that love? + +I thought it was; and on this fancy, and a single roll of bread, I lived +from day to day. Never had I been so happy, and, at the same time, so +wretched. I could look upon her I loved, and converse with her for +hours at a time. That was happiness. But I loved Lenore, and must +leave her. That was misery. + +Lenore seemed to meet me with so much cheerfulness, that my resolution +to leave her--without being absolutely compelled to it--was often nearly +broken; and I believe there are but few who would have resisted the +temptation to stay. But pride, a sense of justice, and a love of +independence, prompted me to go forth again upon the world, and seek +fortune afresh. Perhaps, too, the fact that I was naturally a "rolling +stone," might have had much to do in my determination, at length arrived +at, of bidding adieu to Lenore. There was yet another motive urging my +departure--one which had been too long allowed to lie dormant within my +bosom; my relatives were lost, and I knew not where to find them. This +thought often arose, causing me much regret. I had as yet no reason to +believe that they had left Liverpool; but if such should prove to be the +case, the sooner I started in search of them, the sooner would my +conscience be satisfied. + +I waited till my last shilling was spent; and then sold a signet ring-- +which I had taken from the finger of a dead Mexican, on the field of +battle--obtaining thirty shillings for it. With this trifling sum I had +a great deal to accomplish. It constituted the sole fund with which my +relatives were to be sought and found. It was the capital I had to +invest, in the business of making a fortune worthy of Lenore! + +I advertised for my mother in some of the Liverpool papers; but the only +result was the loss of the greater part of my cash. She had probably +gone after Mr Leary to Australia. Having followed him from Dublin to +Liverpool, was proof that she was foolish enough to follow him to the +Antipodes; and the money she had received for the lease of her house, +would enable her to go there. + +Had I been certain that she had sailed to Australia, I should have gone +after her; but I could scarce believe that she had been guilty of an act +of folly; which even the absence of common sense would neither excuse +nor explain. Because she had once acted foolishly, was not positive +proof that she still continued the victim of her unfortunate +infatuation. + +The mere conjecture that my mother had emigrated to Australia, would not +have been a sufficient reason for my going so far in search of her--so +far away from Lenore. Still it was certain I must go somewhere. I had +a fortune to make; and, in my belief, Liverpool was the last place where +an _honest_ man would have stood any chance in making it. + +My clothing had become threadbare, and my hat and boots were worn to +such a dilapidated condition, that I became every day more ashamed to +pay my visits to Lenore. I at length resolved upon discontinuing them. + +I arose one morning, with the determination of making a move of some +kind during the day: for the life that I had been leading for the past +six weeks could be endured no longer. + +I made an excursion to the docks, where I soon succeeded in finding a +berth; and shipped for the "run" in a large vessel--a "liner"--bound to +New York. This business being settled, I proceeded to the house of Mrs +Hyland--to bid her and her daughter "good-bye." + +They showed every evidence of regret at my departure; and yet they did +not urge me very strenuously to remain: for they knew something of my +disposition. + +I had a long conversation with Lenore alone. + +"Miss Hyland," said I, "I am going in search of a fortune--a fortune +that must be obtained by hard toil; but that toil shall be sweetened by +hope--the hope of seeing _you_ again. We are both young; and the +knowledge of that gives me encouragement to hope. I shall not now speak +to you of love; but I shall do so on my return. I believe that we are +friends; but I wish to make myself worthy of something more than your +friendship." + +I fancied that Lenore understood me. I cannot describe the exquisite +pleasure that thrilled me, as I noted the expression of her features +while she stood listening. It did not forbid me to hope. + +"I will not try to detain you, Rowland," she answered, "but if you are +unsuccessful abroad, do not remain long away. Return to us; and you +will find those who can sympathise with your disappointments. I shall +pray that no harm may befall you; and that we may soon meet again." + +I could perceive her bosom trembling with some strong emotion, as she +uttered these parting words. + +As I took her hand to bid the final "good bye," we were both unable to +speak; and we parted in silence. + +The memory of that parting cheered me through many a dark and stormy +hour of my after life. + +Volume One, Chapter XVI. + +ATLANTIC LINERS. + +Perhaps the most worthless characters, who follow the sea as a +profession, are to be found among the crews of Atlantic liners-- +especially those trafficking between Liverpool and New York. + +These men seldom make voyages to any other ports, than the two above +mentioned; and their custom is to "ship for the run" in one vessel, and +return in another. They do not affect long voyages; and prefer that +between Liverpool and New York to any other. + +There are several reasons for this preference on their part. + +One is the facility with which--on an Atlantic liner--they can rob each +other, and steal from the passengers. + +Another is, that being, even for seamen, a profligate, dissipated set, +these short voyages give them more frequent opportunities of being in +port--where they can indulge in the vices and habits so congenial to +their vulgar tastes. + +A third reason is, the great number of emigrant-passengers carried +between those ports, along with the loose observance of the Passenger +Act--the rules of which are less strictly enforced upon Atlantic liners, +than aboard ships going on longer voyages. + +It may be inferred from this, that the ruffians comprising the crews of +the Atlantic liners, have a better opportunity of plundering the +passengers than in any other ships. + +When embarking on one of these vessels to recommence my duties as a +seaman, I was not encumbered with much luggage; and I was not very long +in her forecastle, before discovering that this was rather an advantage +than a misfortune! + +I had spent so much of my money, that I should have been absolutely +unable to buy an outfit for any other "trip" than that between Liverpool +and New York. + +The less a sailor takes aboard with him on such a voyage, the less will +he lose before it is terminated. + +One of the crew of the ship in which I sailed, was a young seaman, who +had never made the voyage from Liverpool to New York; and therefore +lacked experience of the evil doings incidental to such a trip. He had +been foolish enough to bring on board a large "kit" of good clothing. +The first night out of port, when this young man was keeping his watch +on deck, one of his comrades below took notice of his chest. + +"It's locked," said the man, stretching out his hand to try the lid. + +"Blast him!" cried another, "I suppose he thinks we are all thieves +here!" + +"Sarve him right if he were to lose every-things that's in it," +significantly remarked a third. + +"So say I," chimed in a fourth speaker, drawing nearer to the kit, in +order to be at hand in case of a scramble--which the moment after was +commenced. + +The chest was turned over, all hands taking share in the act; and +without further ado, its bottom was knocked in. Most of the sailor's +effects were pulled out, and scattered about--each of the ruffians +appropriating to himself some article which he fancied. + +Amongst other things, was a new pair of heavy horseskin boots, which +were obtained by a fellow, who chanced to stand in need of them; and who +pulled them on upon the spot. + +The next day, the young sailor having missed his property, of course +created a disturbance about it. For this, he was only laughed at by the +rest of the crew. + +He complained to the officers. + +"Had your clothes stole, have you?" carelessly inquired the first mate. +"Well, that's what you might have expected. Some of the boys are queer +fellows, I dare say. You should have taken better care of your togs--if +you cared anything about them." + +The next day, the young sailor saw one of the men with the stolen boots +upon his feet, and at once accused the wearer of the theft. But the +only satisfaction he obtained, was that of getting kicked with his own +boots! + +We had on board between three and four hundred passengers--most of them +Irish and German emigrants. + +Several deaths occurred amongst these poor people. Whenever one of them +died, the fact would be reported to the officers; and then the first +mate would order the sailmaker to enclose the body in a sack--for the +purpose of its being thrown overboard. This command to the sailmaker +was generally given as follows: + +"Sails! there's a dead 'un below. Go down, and sack 'im." + +As these words were heard by the passengers--alas! too often repeated-- +the sailmaker was known during the remainder of the voyage by the name +of Mr Sackem; and this unfortunate functionary became an object of +mysterious dread to many of the passengers--especially the women and +children. + +Women generally have a great horror of seeing the dead body of any of +their relatives thrown into the sea; and Mr Sackem incurred the +ill-will of many of the female emigrants, who were simple enough to +think that he was someway or other to blame for the bodies being +disposed of in this off-hand, and apparently unfeeling fashion! + +A young child--one of a large family of Irish people--had died one +night; and the next morning the sailmaker went into the steerage where +the body lay--to prepare it for interment in the usual way. + +The first attempt made by Mr Sackem, towards the performance of his +duty, brought upon him an assault from the relatives of the deceased +child, backed by several others who had been similarly bereaved! + +Poor Sails was fortunate in getting back upon deck with his life; and he +came up from the hatchway below with his clothing torn to rags! He had +lost the greater part of a thick head of hair, while his countenance +looked like a map of North America, with the lakes and rivers indicated +in red ink. + +It was not until the captain had gone down--and given the passengers a +fine specimen of the language and manners of the skipper of an Atlantic +liner in a rage--that the body was allowed to be brought up, and +consigned to its last resting place in the sea. + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +I landed in New York, with the determination of trying to do something +on shore, for I was by this time convinced, that a fortune was not to be +made by following the occupation of a common sailor. + +I did not remain long in New York. Too many emigrants from Europe were +constantly arriving there; and continuing that same struggle for +existence, which had forced them into exile. + +I had every reason to believe, that a young man like myself was not +likely to command his full value, where there were so many competitors; +and I determined to go on to visit the West. + +Is it true, a life on the sea might have been preferable to the +hardships, that were likely to be encountered beyond the borders of +civilisation; but Lenore was not to be won by my remaining a common +sailor, nor would such a profession be likely to afford me either time +or opportunity for prosecuting the search after my lost relations. I +knew not whether I was acting prudently or not; but I directed my course +westward; and did not bring to, until I had reached Saint Louis, in the +State of Missouri. There I stopped for a time to look about me. + +On acquaintance with it I did not discover much in this western city to +admire. A person of sanguine hopes, and anxious to accomplish great +things in a very little time, is, perhaps, not in a fit frame of mind to +form correct conclusions; and this may account for my being discontented +with Saint Louis. + +I could not obtain a situation in a city where there was but little to +be done, and no great wages for doing it. I was told that I might find +employment in the country--at splitting rails, cutting wood, and other +such laborious work; but in truth, I was not in the vein to submit +myself to this kind of toil. I was disappointed at finding, that in the +great West I should have much more work to do than I had previously +imagined. + +It chanced that at this time there was a grand commotion in Saint Louis. +Gold had been discovered in California--lying in great quantities in +"placers," or gold washings; and hundreds were departing--or preparing +to depart--for the land where fortunes were to be made in a single day. + +This was precisely the sort of place I was looking for; but to reach it +required a sum of money, which I had not got. I had only the poor +satisfaction of knowing that there were many others in a similar +situation--thousands of them, who wished to go to California, but were +prevented by the same unfortunate circumstances that obstructed me. + +Many were going overland--across the prairies and mountains; but even +this manner of reaching the golden land required more cash than I could +command. A horse, and an outfit were necessary, as well as provisions +for the journey, which had to be taken along, or purchased by the way. + +I regretted that I had not shipped in New York, and worked my passage to +California round the Horn. It was too late now. To get back to any +seaport on the Atlantic, would have required fifteen or twenty dollars; +and I had only five left, of all that I had earned upon the liner. I +spent these five dollars, before I had succeeded in discovering any plan +by which I might reach California. I felt convinced that my only chance +of finding my relatives, and making myself worthy of Lenore, lay in my +getting across, to the Pacific side of America. + +While thus cogitating, I was further tantalised by reading in a +newspaper some later accounts from the diggings. These imparted the +information that each of the diggers was making a fortune in a week, and +spending it in a day. One week in California, was worth ten years in +any other part of the world. Any one could get an ounce of gold per +diem--merely for helping the giver to spend the money he had made! + +Should I--the Rolling Stone--stay where I could find employment at +nothing better than splitting rails, while Earth contained a country +like California? + +There was but one answer to the interrogation: No. + +I resolved to reach this land of gold, or perish in the attempt. + +Volume One, Chapter XVII. + +ON HORSEBACK ONCE MORE. + +The same newspaper that had imparted the pleasing intelligence, supplied +me with information of another kind--which also produced a cheering +effect upon my spirits. + +The emigrants proceeding overland to California, required protection +from the Indians--many hostile tribes of whom lived along the route. +Military stations, or "forts" as they were called, had to be established +at different points upon the great prairie wilderness; and, just then, +the United States' Government was enlisting men to be forwarded to these +stations. + +Most of the men enrolled for this service, were for its cavalry arm; and +after my last quarter of a dollar had been spent, I became one of their +number. My former experience in a dragoon saddle--of which I could give +the proofs--made it no very difficult matter for me to get mounted once +more. + +Enlisting in the army, was rather a strange proceeding for a man who was +anxious to make a fortune in the shortest possible time; but I saw that +something must be done, to enable me to live; and I could neither hold a +plough, nor wield an axe. + +At first, I was not altogether satisfied with what I had done, for I +knew that my mother was not to be found in the wilds of America; and +that, after remaining five years in the ranks of the American army, I +would be as far as ever from Lenore. + +There was one thought, however, that did much to reconcile me to my new +situation; and that was, that our line of march would be _towards +California_! + +Three weeks after joining the cavalry corps, we started for a station +lying beyond Fort Leavenworth. + +Our march was not an uninteresting one: for most of my comrades were +young men of a cheerful disposition; and around our camp-fires at night, +the statesman, philosopher, or divine, who could not have found either +amusement or instruction, would have been a wonderful man. + +Our company was composed of men of several nations. All, or nearly all, +of them were intelligent; and all unfortunate: as, of course, every man +must be, who enters the ranks as a common soldier. + +Man is the creature of circumstances, over which he has no control. The +circumstances that had brought together the regiment to which I +belonged, would probably make a volume much more instructive and +interesting than any "lady novel," and this, judging from the taste +displayed by the majority of readers of the present day, is saying more +than could be easily proved. + +Many European officers would have thought there was but slight +discipline in the corps to which I was attached; but in this opinion, +they would be greatly in error. + +The efficiency of our discipline consisted in the absence of that pretty +order, which some French and English martinets would have striven to +establish; and which would have been ill-suited for a march over the +sterile plains, and through the dense forests encountered in the line of +our route. This absence of strict discipline did not prevent us from +doing a good day's march; and yet enabled us to have plenty of game to +cook over our camp-fires by night. + +We had no duty to trouble ourselves with, but what the common sense of +each taught him to be necessary to our safety and welfare; and we were +more like a hunting party seeking amusement, than like soldiers on a +toilsome march. + +For all this, we were proceeding towards our destination, with as much +speed as could reasonably be required. + +We had one man in the company, known by the name of "Runaway Dick"--a +name given to him after he had one evening, by the camp-fire, +entertained us with a narration of some of the experiences of his life. + +He had run away from home, and gone to sea. He had run away from every +ship in which he had sailed. He had started in business several times, +and had run away each time in debt. He had married two wives, and had +run away from both; and, before joining our corps, he had run away from +the landlord of a tavern--leaving Boniface an empty trunk as payment for +a large bill. + +"Runaway Dick" was one of the best marksman with a rifle we had in the +company; and it was the knowledge of this, that on one occasion caused +me perhaps the greatest fright I ever experienced. + +I had risen at an early hour one morning, which being very cold, I had +lighted a fire. I was squatted, and shivering over the half kindled +faggots, with a buffalo robe wrapped around my shoulders, when I saw +"Runaway Dick" steal out from his sleeping place under a waggon. On +seeing me, he turned suddenly round, and laid hold of his rifle. + +I had just time to throw off the hairy covering, and spring to my feet, +as the rifle was brought to his shoulder. Three seconds more, and I +should have had a bullet through my body! + +"Darn it! I thought you was a bar," said Dick coolly, putting down his +rifle, as I fancied, with a show of some chagrin at having been +undeceived, and "choused" out of his shot. + +I afterwards heard that he was only trying to frighten me. If so, the +experiment proved entirely successful. + +After reaching the post we were to occupy, I was not so well satisfied +with my situation, as when on the march. + +The discipline became more strict, and we had a good deal of +fatigue-work to do--in building huts, stables, and fortifications. + +Besides this unsoldierly duty by day, we had at night to take our turn +as sentinels around the station. + +Emigrants on the way to California passed us daily. How I envied them +their freedom of action, and the bright hopes that were luring them on! + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +One morning, "Runaway Dick" was not to be found. He had run away once +more. It was not difficult to divine whither--to California. + +In this, his latest flight, he appeared to give some proof that he had +still a little honesty left: for he did not take along with him either +his horse, or his rifle. + +I overheard some of the officers speaking of him after he was gone, one +of them pronounced him "a damned fool" for not taking the horse--so +necessary to him upon the long journey he would have to perform, before +reaching his destination. + +On hearing this remark, I registered a resolve, that, when my turn came +to desert, they should not have occasion to apply the epithet to me, at +all events, not for the same reason that Runaway Dick had deserved it. + +Whether Dick's example had any influence on me, I do not now remember. +I only know that I soon after determined to desert, and take my horse +with me. + +I had served the Government of the United States once before; and did +not think myself any too well rewarded for my services. I might +probably have believed that "Uncle Sam" was indebted to me; and that by +dismissing myself from his employ, and taking with me some of his +property, it would be only squaring accounts with him; but I did not +then take the trouble to trifle with my conscience--as I do not now--to +justify my conduct by any such excuse. To carry off the horse would be +stealing; but I required the animal for the journey; and I did not like +to leave my officers under the impression that I was a "damned fool." + +"Every one who robs a government is not called a thief," thought I, "and +why should I win that appellation when only trying to win Lenore?" + +I could not afford to squander the best part of my life in a +wilderness--standing sentry all the night, and working on fortifications +all the day. + +It was absurd for any one to have enlisted an intelligent-looking young +fellow like myself, for any such occupation. Was I not expected to take +French leave on the first favourable opportunity? And would I not be +thought a "fool" for not doing so? + +These considerations did not influence me much, I admit, for the true +cause of my desertion, was the knowledge that neither my relatives nor +Lenore would ever be encountered in the middle of the great American +prairie, and that to find either I must "move on." + +One night I was dispatched on patrol duty, to a place some two miles +distant from the fort. The sky was dark at the time; but I knew the +moon would be shining brightly in an hour. + +A better opportunity would perhaps never occur again; and I resolved to +take advantage of it and desert. + +By going through the wilderness alone, I knew that I should have many +dangers and hardships to encounter; but the curiosity, of learning how +these were to be overcome, only added to my desire for entering upon +them. + +My patrol duty led me along the trail of the emigrants proceeding +westward; and even in the darkness, I was able to follow it without +difficulty, riding most of the way at a trot. When the moon rose, I +increased my pace to a gallop, and scarce halted until daybreak, when, +perceiving a small stream that ran through the bottom of a narrow +valley, I rode toward it. There dismounting, I gave my horse to the +grass--which was growing so luxuriantly as to reach up to his knees. + +The horse was more fortunate than I: for the long night's ride had given +me an appetite, which I had no means of satisfying. I was hungry and +happy--happy, because I was free; and hungry for the same reason! A +paradox, though a truth. + +There were birds warbling among the trees by the side of the stream. I +could have shot some of them with my rifle, or revolver, and cooked them +over a fire--for I had the means of making one. But I was not hungry +enough to risk the report of a shot being heard; and after tethering my +horse, to make secure against _his deserting me_, I lay down upon the +long grass and fell fast asleep. + +I dreamt no end of dreams, though they might all have been reduced to +one; and that was: that the world was my inheritance, and I was on my +way to take possession of it. + +When I awoke, the sun was in the centre of the sky. My horse had +satisfied his hunger; and, following the example of his master, had laid +down to sleep. + +I did not hesitate to disturb his repose; and, having saddled and +remounted him, I once more took to the emigrant trail, and continued on +towards fortune and Lenore! + +Volume One, Chapter XVIII. + +OLD JOHNSON. + +I travelled along the trail all that afternoon and evening, until, just +as twilight was darkening into night, I came in sight of some +camp-fires. On seeing them, I paused to consider what was best to be +done. + +To halt at the camp--if, as I supposed, it was a party of emigrants-- +might lead to my being taken, in case of being pursued from the fort, +for my dress, the U.S. brand on the horse, and the military saddle, all +proved them the property of "Uncle Sam." + +This determined me to avoid showing myself--until I should have put a +greater distance between myself and the fort. + +I dismounted on the spot where I had halted, tethered my horse, and +tried to take some rest. I soon found that I could not sleep: hunger +would not admit of it. + +Within sight of me were the camp-fires, surrounded by people, who would +probably have relieved my wants; and yet I feared to go near them. + +Conscience, or common sense, told me, that emigrants in a wilderness +might not look very favourably upon one, employed to protect them, +deserting from his duty, and taking property along with him--of which +every citizen of the United States believes himself to be the owner of a +share. They might not actually repel me. In all probability they would +give me something to eat; but they might also give information +concerning me--should I be pursued--that would enable my pursuers to +make a prisoner of me. + +Before daybreak I awoke, having enjoyed a brief slumber; and, silently +mounting my horse, I rode beyond the emigrants' camp--deviating widely +from the trail to get around them. + +I soon recovered the track; and pursued it as fast as my steed was +willing to carry me. When, looking out for a place where water could be +obtained--with the intention of stopping awhile and killing some bird or +animal for food--I came in sight of another party of emigrants, who were +just taking their departure from the spot where they had encamped for +the night. + +I had put one train of these travellers between me and the fort; and now +fancied myself tolerably safe from pursuit. Riding boldly up to the +waggons, I told the first man I encountered, and in very plain terms +that I must have something to eat. + +"Now, I like that way of talking," said he. "Had you asked for +something in the humble manner many would have done, perhaps you would +not have got it. People don't like to carry victuals five hundred +miles, to give away for nothing; but when you say you _must_ have +something to eat, then, of course, I can do nothing but give it to you. +Sally!" he continued, calling out to a young woman who stood by one of +the waggons, "get this stranger something to eat." + +Looking around me, I saw a number of people--men, women, and children of +every age. There appeared to be three families forming the "caravan" no +doubt emigrating together, for the purpose of mutual protection and +assistance. There were five or six young men--who appeared to be the +sons of the elder ones--and a like number of young women, who were +evidently the daughters of three others of middle age, while a large +flock of miscellaneous children, a small flock of sheep, a smaller +number of cattle, several horses, and half-a-dozen half-famished dogs +completed the live-stock of the train. + +"I guess you're a deserter?" said the man, to whom I had first addressed +myself, after he had finished his survey of myself and horse. + +"No," I answered. "I'm on my route to Fort Wool. I have lost my way, +and gone without eating for two days." + +"Now, I like that way of talking," responded the emigrant, who appeared +to be the head man of the party. "When a man tells me a story, I like +it to be a good one, and well told--whether I believe it, or not." + +"What reason have you to disbelieve me?" I asked, pretending to be +offended at having my word doubted. + +"Because I think, from your looks, that you are not a damned fool," +answered the man, "and no other but a fool would think of staying in a +military fort, in this part of the world, any longer than he had a +chance to get away from it." + +I immediately formed the opinion, that the person speaking to me was the +most sensible man I had ever met--myself not excepted: for it was not +necessary for him to have seen Lenore, to know that I had done well in +deserting. + +After my hunger had been appeased, I moved on with the emigrant train, +which I found to consist of three Missouri farmers and their families, +on their way to the "Land of Promise." The man with whom I had +conversed, was named Johnson, or "old Johnson," as some of his juniors +called him. He was a sharp, brisk sort of an old fellow; and I could +perceive, at a glance there was no chance of his being humbugged by any +made-up story. I, therefore, changed my tactics; and frankly +acknowledged myself to be a deserter from the United States' troops, +occupying the last fort he had passed. It was scarce necessary to add, +that my destination was California. I finished by proposing: that he +would have my services in whatever capacity he might require them, in +consideration of furnishing me with food upon the journey. + +"Now, I like that way of talking," said old Johnson, when I had +concluded, "we just chance to need your help, and that of your horse, +too; and we'll try to do the best we can for you. You must expect to +see some hard times, before we get through--plenty of work and no great +feeding--but do your share of the work, and you shall fare like the rest +of us." + +I could ask nothing fairer than this; and the next day, found me dressed +in a suit of "linsey wolsey," working my passage to California, by +taking my share with the others, in clearing the track of obstructions, +driving the cattle, and such other duties as fall to the lot of the +overland emigrant. + +The journey proved long, fatiguing, and irksome--much more so than I had +expected; and many times a day did I swear, that, if I ever worked a +passage to California again, it should be by water. I was impatient to +get on; and chafed at the slow pace at which we crawled forward. Horses +and cattle would stray, or make a stampede; and then much time would be +lost in recovering them. + +Sometimes we would reach a stream, where a bridge had to be built or +repaired; and two or three days would be spent at the work. The draught +horses and oxen would die, or, becoming unable to proceed farther, would +have to be left behind. The strength of our teams was being constantly +weakened--until they were unable to draw the heavily loaded waggons; and +it became necessary to abandon a portion of their contents--which were +thrown away upon the prairies. The first articles thus abandoned, were +carpets and other useless things, not required on the journey, but which +to please the women, or at their instigation, had been put into the +waggons at starting, and dragged for six or seven hundred miles! + +The dogs, that, at the commencement of the journey, had for each mile of +the road, travelled about three times that distance, having worn the +skin from the soles of their feet, now crawled along after the waggons +without taking one unnecessary step. They seemed at length to have +reached the comprehension: that the journey was to be a protracted one; +and that while undertaking it, the idle amusement of chasing birds was +not true canine wisdom. + +I shall not startle my leaders with a recital of any remarkable +adventures we had with the hostile Indians: for the simple reason that +we had none. They gave us much trouble for all that: since our fear of +encountering them, kept us constantly on the alert--one of our party, +and some times more, standing sentry over the camp throughout the whole +of every night. + +If my readers reason aright, they will give me credit for not drawing on +my imagination for any part of this narrative. They may easily perceive +that, by thus eschewing the subject of an encounter with Indians, I lose +an excellent opportunity for embellishing my true tale with an +introduction of fiction. + +As we approached the termination of our journey, the teams became +weaker--until it took all of them united in one yoke to draw a single +waggon, containing only the youngest of the children, and a few pounds +of necessary provisions! + +The old ladies, along with their daughters, performed the last hundred +miles of the journey on foot; and when we at length reached the first +settlement--on the other side of the mountains--a band of more wretched +looking individuals could scarce have been seen elsewhere. My own +appearance was no exception to that of my companions. My hat was a +dirty rag wrapped around my head like a turbann while my boots were +nothing more than pieces of buffalo hide, tied around my feet with +strings. For all this, I was as well dressed as any of the party. + +My agreement with old Johnson was now fulfilled; and I was at liberty to +leave him. I was anxious to be off to the diggings, where his eldest +son, James, a young man about twenty years old, proposed accompanying +me. Old Johnson declined going to the diggings himself--his object in +coming to California being to "locate" a farm, while the country was +still "young." + +He furnished us with money to buy clothing and tools, as well as to keep +us in food for awhile--until we should get fairly under weigh in the +profession we were about to adopt. + +I promised to repay my share of this money to his son--as soon as I +should earn its equivalent out of the auriferous earth of California. + +"Now, I like that way of talking," said old Johnson, "for I'm a poor +man; and as I have just come here to make a fortune, I can't afford to +lose a cent." + +I parted with Mr Johnson and his party of emigrants with some regret, +for they all had been more kind to me than I had any reason to expect. + +I have never found the people of this world quite so bad as they are +often represented; and it is my opinion, that any man who endeavours to +deserve true friendship, will always succeed in obtaining it. + +I have never met a man whose habit was to rail against mankind in +general, and his own acquaintances in particular, whose friendship was +worth cultivation. Such a man has either proved unworthy of friendship, +and has never obtained it; or he has obtained, and therefore possesses +that, for which he is ungrateful. + +Volume One, Chapter XIX. + +A "PROSPECTING EXPEDITION." + +On parting with the Californian colonists, young Johnson and I proceeded +direct to the diggings on the Yuba, where, after looking about for a day +or so, we joined partnership with two others, and set to work on a +"claim" close by the banks of the river. + +We had arrived at an opportune season--the summer of 1849--when every +miner was doing well. There was a good deal of generosity among the +miners at this time; and those who could not discover a good claim by +their own exertions, would have one pointed out with directions how to +work it! + +Our party toiled four weeks at the claim we had chosen, and was very +successful in obtaining gold. Never did my hopes of the future appear +so bright. Never did Lenore seem so near. + +No gold washing could be done on the Yuba during the winter--the water +in the river being then too high--and, as we had not much longer to +work, it was proposed by three men, who held the claim adjoining ours, +that we should join them in prospecting for some new diggings--where we +might be able to continue at work all the winter, unembarrassed by too +much water and too many miners. + +One of our neighbours who made this proposal, had visited a place about +forty miles farther up the country--where he believed we might find a +"placer" such as we required. He had been upon a hunting expedition to +the place spoken of; and while there did not look for gold--having no +mining tools along with him; but from the general appearance of the +country, and the nature of the soil, he was convinced we might find in +it some rich dry diggings, that would be suitable for working in the +winter. + +It was proposed that one of us should accompany the man on a prospecting +expedition, that we should take plenty of provisions with us, and search +until we should discover such diggings as we desired. + +To this proposal, both parties agreed; and I was the one chosen, by +Johnson and my other two companions, to represent them in the +expedition--the expenses of which were to be equally shared by all. + +Before starting, I left with young James Johnson my share of the gold we +had already obtained--which amounted to about sixty ounces. + +The hunter and I started--taking with us three mules. Each of us rode +one--having our roll of blankets lashed to the croup of the saddle. A +sixty pound bag of flour, some other articles of food, a tent, and the +necessary "prospecting" tools formed "the cargo" of the third mule, +which, in the language of California, was what is called a "pack-mule." + +My fellow prospecter was only known to me by the name of Hiram. I soon +discovered that he was not an agreeable companion--at least, on such an +expedition as that we had undertaken. He was not sociable; but, on the +contrary, would remain for hours without speaking a word; and then, when +called upon to say something, he would do so in a voice, the tones of +which were anything but musical. + +The animal I bestrode had been christened "Monte," that of Hiram was +called "Poker," and the mule carrying "the cargo" was "Uker." With such +a nomenclature for our beasts, we might easily have been mistaken for a +pair of card-sharpers. + +Our progress over the hills was not very rapid. We were unable to go in +a direct line; and were continually wandering around steep ridges, or +forced out of our way by tributaries of the main river--which last we +were frequently compelled to ascend for miles before we could find a +crossing place. + +Although fortunate in having good mules, I do not think that our travel +averaged more than fifteen miles a day, in a direct line from where we +started, though the actual distance travelled would be over thirty! + +Late in the evening of our third day out, our pack-mule, in fording a +stream, got entangled among the branches of a fallen tree; and, while +trying to extricate the animal out of its dilemma, Hiram was pulled into +the water, and jammed against a limb--so as to suffer a serious injury. + +That night we encamped by the stream--near the place where the accident +had happened; and, about midnight, when I was changing my mule--Monte-- +to a fresh feeding place, the animal became suddenly alarmed at +something, and broke away from me--pulling the lazo through my hands, +till not only was the skin peeled clean off my fingers, but one or two +of them were cut clean to the bone. I reproached myself for not sooner +having had the sense to let go; but, as usual, the reproach came after +the damage had been done. + +The mule, on getting free, started over the ridge as though she had been +fired from a cannon--while Poker and Uker, taking the hint from their +companion, broke their tethers at the same instant, and followed at a +like rate of speed. + +I returned to Hiram, and communicated the unpleasant intelligence: that +the mules had stampeded. + +"That's a very foolish remark," said he, "for you know I'm not deaf." + +This answer did not fall very graciously on my ear; but having made up +my mind, to remain in good humour with my companion as long as possible, +I pretended not to notice it. I simply said in reply, that I thought +there must either be a grizzly bear, or Indians, near us--to have +stampeded the mules. + +"Of course thar is," said Hiram, in a tone more harsh than I had ever +before heard him use. + +I fancied that he was foolish enough to blame me for the loss of the +mules; and was a little vexed with him, for the way in which he had +answered me. + +I said nothing more; but, stepping aside I bandaged up my fingers, and +tried to obtain a little sleep. At sunrise I got up; and, having first +dressed my wounded fingers, I kindled a fire, and made some coffee. + +"Come, Hiram!" said I, in an encouraging tone, "turn out, mate! We may +have a hard day's work in looking for the mules; but no doubt we'll find +them all right." + +"Find them yourself," he answered. "I shan't look for them." + +I had much difficulty in controlling my temper, and restraining myself +from giving Hiram an uncourteous reply. + +To avoid subjecting myself to any more of his ill-natured speeches, I +returned to the fire, and ate my breakfast alone. + +While engaged in this operation, I pondered in my own mind what was best +to be done. It ended by my coming to the determination to go in search +of my mule Monte; and, having found her, to return to my partners on the +Yuba. I felt certain, that should I attempt farther to prosecute the +expedition along with Hiram, and he continue to make the disagreeable +observations of which he had already given me a sample, there would +certainly be a row between us. In some parts of the world, where people +think themselves highly enlightened, two men getting angry with one +another, and using strong language, is not an unusual occurrence; and +very seldom results in anything, more than both proving themselves +snarling curs. But it is not so in California, where men become +seriously in earnest--often over trifling affairs; and had a row taken +place between my comrade and myself, I knew that only one story would +have been told concerning it. + +I finished my breakfast; and, leaving Hiram in his blankets, I started +off over the ridge to find Monte. I searched for the mules about six +hours; and having been unsuccessful in my search, I returned to the camp +without them. + +Hiram was still wrapped up in his blanket, just as I had left him; and +then the truth suddenly flashed into my dark mind, like lightning over a +starless sky. + +Hiram was ill, and I had neglected him! + +The bruise on his side, received against the fallen tree, was more +serious than I had supposed; and this had misled me. He had made no +complaint. + +The moment I became aware of my mistake, I hastened to his side. + +"Hiram," said I, "you are ill? Forgive me, if you can. I fear that my +thoughtlessness, and passionate temper, have caused you much suffering." + +He made no reply to my conciliatory speech. He was in a very high +fever; and asked faintly for water. + +I took the tin vessel, in which I had made the coffee; and having filled +it at the stream, gave him a pint cup full. + +He drank the water eagerly; and then found voice to talk to me. He said +that he was glad that I had returned, for he wished to tell me where he +had buried some gold, and where his wife and child were living, and +could be written to. + +He spoke with great difficulty; and soon called for more water. + +I again filled the cup nearly full, and handed it to him. After +drinking every drop that was in it, he requested me to give him the +coffee-can; but, thinking that he had drunk enough water, I declined +acceding to his request; and tried to persuade him, that too much water +would do him a serious injury. He only answered me by clamouring for +more water. + +"Wait but a little while," said I. "In a few minutes you shall have +some more." + +"Give it me now! Give it me now! Will you not give me some now?" + +Knowing that the quantity he had already drunk, could not fail to be +injurious to him, I refused to let him have any more. + +"Give me some water!" he exclaimed, with more energy of voice and +manner, than I had ever known him to exhibit. + +I replied by a negative shake of the head. + +"Inhuman wretch!" he angrily cried out. "Do you refuse? Refuse to give +a dying man a drop of water!" + +I once more endeavoured to convince him, that there would be danger in +his drinking any more water--that there was yet a chance for him to +live; but, while talking to him, I perceived a change suddenly stealing +over his features. He partly raised himself into a sitting position; +and then commenced cursing me, in the most horrible language I had ever +heard from the lips of a dying man! + +After continuing at this for several minutes he sank back upon the +grass, and lay silent and motionless. + +Allowing a short interval to elapse, I approached the prostrate form, +and gently laid my hand upon his forehead. I shall never forget the +sensation that thrilled through me, as I touched his skin. It was +already cold and clammy--convincing me that my prospecting companion had +ceased to live! + +I passed the whole of the following day in trying to recover the mules. +Had I succeeded, I would have taken the body to some camp of diggers, +and buried it in a Christian manner. + +As this was not possible, with my lame hands, I scooped out a shallow +grave; and buried the body as I best could. + +Having completed my melancholy task, I started afoot to rejoin my +partners on the Yuba--where I arrived--after several days spent in +toilsome wandering--footsore and dispirited. + +The adventure had taught me two lessons. Never to refuse any one a +drink of water when I could give it; and to be ever after careful in +interpreting the language of others--lest some wrong might be fancied, +where none was intended. + +Volume One, Chapter XX. + +RICHARD GUINANE. + +On my return to the Yuba, with the sad tale of my comrade's death--and +the consequent unfortunate termination of our prospecting scheme-- +Hiram's partners made search for his gold, in every place where it was +likely to have been buried. + +Their search proved fruitless. The precious treasure could not be +found. Unfortunately, none of us knew where his family resided. He had +been incidentally heard to say, that he came from the state of Delaware; +but this was not sufficient clue, to enable any of us to communicate +with his relatives. + +His wife has probably watched long for his return; and may yet believe +him guilty of that faithlessness--too common to men who have left their +homes on a similar errand. + +As our claim on the Yuba was well nigh exhausted, we dissolved +partnership--each intending to proceed somewhere else on his own +account. Young Johnson--who had been my companion across the plains-- +never before having been so long away from his parents, determined upon +going home to them, and there remaining all the winter. + +I had heard good accounts of the southern "placers," which, being of the +sort known as "dry diggings," were best worked during the rainy season. +Three or four men, from the same "bar" where we had been engaged, were +about starting for the Mocolumne; and, after bidding James Johnson and +my other mates a friendly farewell, I set out along with this party. + +After reaching our destination, I joined partnership with two of my +travelling companions; and, during the greater part of the winter, we +worked upon Red Gulch--all three of us doing well. + +Having exhausted our claim, my two partners left me both to return home +to New York. Being thus left once more alone, I determined upon +proceeding still farther south--to the Tuolumne river, there to try my +fortune during the summer. + +On my way to the Tuolumne, I fell in with a man named Richard Guinane, +who had just come up from San Francisco City. He was also _en route_ +for the diggings at Tuolumne; and we arranged to travel together. + +He was going to try his luck in gold seeking for the second time; and, +finding him an agreeable companion, I proposed that we should become +partners. My proposal was accepted--on the condition that we should +stop awhile on the Stanislaus--a river of whose auriferous deposits my +new partner had formed a very high opinion. + +To this I made no objection; and, on reaching the Stanislaus, we pitched +our tents upon its northern bank. + +When I became a little acquainted with the past history of my companion, +I might reasonably have been expected to object to the partnership. +From his own account, he was born to ill-luck: and, such being the case, +I could scarce hope that fortune would favour me--so long as I was in +his company. Assuredly was Richard Guinane the victim of unfortunate +circumstances. There are many such in the world, though few whom +Fortune will not sometimes favour with her smiles--when they are +deserved; and, ofttimes, when they are not. + +Richard Guinane, according to his own account of himself, was one of +these few. Circumstances seemed to have been always against him. Each +benevolent, or praiseworthy action he might perform, appeared to the +world as dictated by some base and selfish feeling! Whenever he +attempted to confer a favour, the effort resulted in an injury, to those +whom he meant to benefit. Whenever he tried to win a friend, it ended +by his making an enemy! + +His hopes of happiness had ever proved delusive--his anticipations of +misery were always realised! + +Pride, honour, in short, every noble feeling that man should possess, +appeared to be his; and yet fate so controlled those sentiments, that +each manifestation of them seemed, to the world, the reverse of the true +motive that inspired it. Such was Guinane's character--partly drawn +from statements furnished by himself, and partly from facts that came +under my own observation. + +Certain circumstances of his life, which he made known to me, had +produced an impression on my memory; but more especially those of which +I was myself a spectator, and which brought his unhappy existence to an +abrupt and tragical termination. The history of his life is too strange +to be left unrecorded. + +Richard Guinane was a native of New York State, where his father died +before he was quite five years of age--leaving a wife and three +children, of whom Dick was the eldest. + +So early had Dick's ill-fortune made its appearance, that before he had +reached his fourteenth year, he had established the reputation of being +the greatest thief and liar in his native village! + +When once this character became attached to him, no church window could +be broken, nor any other mischief occur, that was not attributed to Dick +Guinane, although, according to his own account, he was really the best +behaved boy in the place! + +Near the residence of his mother, lived the widow of a merchant, who had +left a small fortune to his only child, a daughter--the widow having the +sole charge both of the fortune and the heiress--already a half grown +girl. + +With a charming voice, this young lady would answer to the name of +Amanda Milne. She had seen Dick every day, since her earliest +childhood; and she had formed a better opinion of him than of any other +lad in the village. She was the only one in the place, except his own +mother, who felt any regard for Dick Guinane. All his other neighbours +looked upon him, as a living evidence of God's amazing mercy! + +Like most young ladies, Amanda was learning some accomplishments--to +enable her to kill time in a genteel, and useless manner. + +The first great work achieved by her fingers, and to her own entire +satisfaction, was a silk purse--which it had not taken her quite two +months to knit. This purse, on a favourable opportunity having offered +itself, was presented to Dick. + +Not long after, her mother wished to exhibit her needle-work to some +friends--as a proof of the skill and industry of her daughter, who was +requested to produce the purse. + +Amanda knew that Dick was not liked by the inhabitants of the village; +and that her own mother had an especially bad opinion of him. Moreover, +the Guinane family was not so wealthy as the widow Milne; and in the +opinion of many, there was no equality whatever between the young people +representing each. + +Though Amanda was well aware of all this, had she been alone with her +mother, in all likelihood she would have told the truth; but, in the +presence of strangers, she acted as most other girls would have done +under similar circumstances. She said she had lost the purse; and had +searched for it everywhere without finding it. About that time, Dick +was seen in possession of a purse; and would give no account, of how he +came by it. The two facts that Amanda Milne had lost a purse, and that +Dick Guinane had one in his possession, soon became the subject of a +comparison; and the acquaintances of both arrived at the conclusion: +that Amanda, as she had stated, must have lost her purse, and that Dick +must have stolen it! + +Time passed on--each month producing some additional evidence to condemn +poor Dick in the estimation of his acquaintances. + +Mrs Guinane was a member of the Methodist Church, over which presided +the Reverend Joseph Grievous. This gentleman was in the habit of +holding frequent conversations with Mrs Guinane, on the growing +sinfulness of her son. Notwithstanding her great reverence for her +spiritual instructor, she could not perceive Dick's terrible faults. +Withal, the complaints made to her--of his killing cats, dogs, and +geese, stealing fruit, and breaking windows--were so frequent, and +apparently so true, that she used to take Dick to task, and in a kindly +way read long maternal lectures to him. + +Dick always avowed his innocence--even in the presence of Mr Grievous-- +and would use the best of arguments to prove himself as "not guilty." +This pretence of innocence, in the opinion of the Reverend Grievous, was +a wickedness exceeding all his other misdeeds; and the sanctimonious +gentleman suggested the remedy, of having Dick beaten into confession +and repentance! To this course of treatment, however, Mrs Guinane +firmly refused to give her consent. + +One day, Dick had been to a neighbouring town; and when returning, had +passed a house--to the gate of which the old and well known horse of the +Reverend Grievous stood tied. Simply noticing the horse, and reflecting +that his reverend owner must be inside the house, Dick continued on. + +When near his mother's house, he was overtaken by the horse, that bad +come trotting along the road after him. The horse was without a rider, +which proved that not being properly secured, he had got loose. + +Dick caught the horse, mounted him, and commenced riding back--for the +purpose of delivering him to the minister, for he could not permit, that +so pious a person should have to walk home through the mud. + +The road was bad--like most of the country roads in the United States-- +and Dick was already fatigued with a long walk. To take the horse to +the house where his owner was visiting, would give him more than a mile +to walk back; but no personal consideration could deter the lad from +doing what he thought to be his duty. + +On coming out of the house--where he had been visiting one of the +members of his church--Mr Grievous was surprised not to find his horse; +but the mystery was fully explained when, after proceeding a short +distance, he saw Dick Guinane on the horse's back. + +Here was evidence welcome to Mr Grievous. Dick was at one of his old +games--caught in the very act--riding another man's horse--and that +horse the property of his own minister! + +The Reverend Joseph was rejoiced, as he had long been looking for an +opportunity like this. He attributed all Dick's misdeeds to the want of +proper chastisement; and here was a good reason for administering it to +him. Dick had no father to correct his faults; and, in the opinion of +Mr Grievous, his mother was too lenient with the lad. + +He had long promised, that if ever he caught Dick in any misdemeanour, +he would himself administer a lesson that would not only benefit the +boy, but the community in which he dwelt. He would be only fulfilling a +duty, which his sacred office imposed upon him; and the present +opportunity was too good a one to be lost. + +Dick rode up to the minister, dismounted, and accosted him in a manner +that should have been proof of innocence. Perhaps it would have been, +by any other person; but to the Reverend Grievous, Dick's confident +deportment--inspired by the consciousness of having acted rightly--only +aggravated the offence of which he was supposed to be guilty. His bold +effrontery was but the bearing of a person long accustomed to crime. So +reasoned Mr Grievous! + +Without giving Dick time to finish his explanation, the minister seized +him by the collar; and, with his riding whip, commenced administering to +him a vigorous chastisement. + +Dick was at the time over sixteen years of age; and was, moreover, a +strong, active youth for his years. + +So great was his respect, for all persons, whom he thought superior to +himself, that for some time he bore the chastisement--unresistingly +permitting the minister to proceed in the execution of his fancied duty. + +Human nature could not stand such treatment long; and Dick's temper at +length giving way, he picked up a stone, hurled it at the head of the +reverend horsewhipper--who, on receiving the blow, fell heavily to the +earth. + +He rose again; and in all probability would have returned to a more +vigorous use of his horsewhip, had his victim been still within reach; +but Dick had secured himself against farther punishment, by taking to +his heels, and placing a wide distance between himself and his irate +pastor. + +Next day, Dick was brought before a magistrate, the Reverend Grievous, +upon oath, being compelled to make a somewhat true statement of the +affair. The justice had no other course than to discharge the prisoner, +which he did with reluctance--expressing regret that the strict letter +of the law did not allow him to deal with the offence in the manner it +so justly merited! + +His native village no longer afforded a peaceful home for Dick Guinane. + +He was pointed at in the streets. Other boys of his age were forbidden +by their parents to play with him; and the little school girls crossed +the road in terror, as they saw him approach. In the opinion of the +villagers, he had reached the climax of earthly iniquity. + +He was sent to reside with an uncle--his mother's brother--who lived in +the city of New York. Before leaving his native place, he attempted to +make a call on Amanda Milne; but was met at the door by her mother, who +refused either to admit him within the house, or allow her daughter to +see him. + +Shortly after reaching his new home in the great city, he received a +letter from his mother--enclosing a note from Amanda, the contents of +which partly repaid him for all the injuries he had suffered. + +During a residence of five years in New York, he was unsuccessful in +everything he undertook; and, unfortunately, though from no fault of his +own, lost the confidence of his uncle, as also his protection. + +He returned to his native village, where he found that he was still +remembered with disfavour. + +He talked of love to Amanda Milne; but his suit was rejected. She +admitted being much prepossessed in his favour, and that he had no rival +in her affections; but what woman can brave the ridicule of all her +acquaintances, and the anger of an only parent, by accepting a lover +universally shunned and condemned? + +Dick once more bade adieu to his native village; and after various +vicissitudes in different cities of the United States, at length found +his way to California. He had been one of the most fortunate miners on +the Feather river; and had invested the money made there in a dry goods +store in San Francisco. + +Just one week after entering upon his new business, the city of San +Francisco was burnt to the ground; and Dick's dry goods store, including +the contents, along with it. + +With only one hundred dollars in his purse, he again started for the +diggings; and it was while journeying thither that he and I came +together, and entered into partnership as above related. + +Volume One, Chapter XXI. + +After breaking ground upon the Stanislaus, we toiled for three weeks +without any success. Every one around us seemed to be doing well; but +the several mining claims worked by Guinane and myself seemed to be the +only places in the valley of the Stanislaus where no gold existed. Not +a grain rewarded our labours. + +"For your sake we had better part company," said Guinane to me one +evening, after we had toiled hard all day, and obtained nothing. "You +will never have any luck, so long as you are my partner." + +I was inclined to think there was some truth in what my comrade said; +but I did not like the idea of leaving a man, merely because he had been +unfortunate. + +"Your fate cannot long contend with mine," I answered. "I am one of the +most fortunate fellows in the world. If we continue to act in +partnership, my good fortune will, in time, overcome the ill-luck that +attends upon you. Let us keep together awhile longer." + +"Very well," assented Guinane, "but I warn you that some one above--or +below, may be--has a `down' on me; and the good genius attending you +will need to be very powerful to make things square. However, you lead +the way, and I will follow." + +I did lead the way; and we went to Sonora, further south, where we +entered upon a claim at a place called Dry Creek. Here we met with +success, of which we could not reasonably complain. + +We often used to walk into Sonora in the evening; and amuse ourselves, +by witnessing the scenes occurring in the gambling houses, or having a +dance with the bright-eyed Mexican senoritas. + +One evening, while loitering about in one of the gambling houses, we saw +a digger who was intoxicated, almost to the degree of drunkenness. He +was moving about in half circles over the floor, keeping his feet under +him with much difficulty, unknown to himself. Every now and then, he +loudly declared his intention of going home, as if he thought such a +proceeding on his part, was one in which all around him must be highly +interested. Each time, before going, he would insist upon having +another drink; and this continued, until he had swallowed several +glasses of brandy, on the top of those that had already produced his +intoxication. In paying for these drinks, he pulled out a bag of gold +dust, which carried, judging from its size, about one hundred ounces; +and a man behind the bar, weighed from it the few specks required in +payment for the liquor. + +There was something in the appearance of this miner that strangely +interested me. I fancied that I had seen him before; but could not tell +where. While I was endeavouring to identify him, he staggered out of +the house into the street--leaving me in doubt, as to whether we had met +before or not. + +The thoughts of my companion Guinane, were not absorbed by wanderings +like mine; and he had been more observant of what was transpiring around +him. After the miner had gone out, he came close up to me, and +whispered:-- + +"That man will be robbed. When he pulled out his bag of gold to pay for +the drink, I saw two men exchange glances, and walk out before him. +They will waylay, and rob him. Shall we let them do it?" + +"Certainly not," I answered, "I like the look of the man; and do not +think that he deserves to lose his money." + +"Come on then!" said Guinane; and we both stepped out into the street. + +The first direction in which we turned was the wrong one: for, after +proceeding about a hundred yards, nothing of the drunken man was to be +seen; and we knew that he was too drunk to have got any farther away. + +We turned back; and walked at a quick pace--indeed, ran--in the opposite +direction. This time our pursuit was more successful. We saw the +drunken miner lying on the pavement, with two men standing over him, who +pretended, as we came up, that they were his friends; and that they were +endeavouring to get him home. + +Had the drunken man been willing to accept of their assistance, we might +have found no excuse for interfering; but as we drew near, we could hear +him exclaiming, "Avast there, mates! I can navigate for myself. Be +off, or, dammee! I'll teach you manners." + +"Stormy Jack!" I exclaimed, rushing forward, followed by Guinane. +"'Tis you Stormy? What's wrong? Do you want any help?" + +"Yes," replied Jack, "teach these fellows some manners for me. My legs +are too drunk; and I can't do so myself." + +The two men moved silently, but rapidly away. + +"Have you got your gold?" I asked, ready for pursuit in case the +fellows had robbed him. + +"Yes, that's all right. One of them tried to take it; but I wouldn't +let him. I'm sober enough for that. It's only my legs that be drunk. +My hands are all right." + +Stormy's legs were indeed drunk, so much so, that Guinane and I had much +difficulty in getting him along. We were obliged to place him between +us, each supporting one of his sides. After considerable labour, we +succeeded in taking him to a house where I was acquainted. Here we put +him to bed; and, after leaving instructions with the landlord, not to +let him depart until one of us should return, we went home to our own +lodgings. + +Next morning, at an early hour, I called to see Stormy; and found him +awake and waiting for me. + +"You done me a good turn last night," said he, "and I shall not forget +it, as I have you." + +"Why do you think you have forgotten me?" I asked. + +"Because last night you called me Stormy Jack; and from that, I know you +must have seen me before. I've not been hailed by that name for several +years. Now, don't tell me who you are: for I want to find out for +myself." + +"You could not have been very drunk last night," said I, "or you would +not remember what you were called?" + +"Yes, would I," answered Stormy, "according as the land lay, or what +sort of drunk it was. Sometimes my mind gets drunk, and sometimes my +legs. It's not often they both get drunk together. Last night it was +the legs. Had you been a man six or seven years ago, when I was called +Stormy Jack, I should remember you: for I've got a good memory of things +that don't change much. But when I used to be called Stormy Jack, you +must have been a bit o' a tiny boy. Now, who can you be? What a stupid +memory I've got!" continued he, scratching his head. "There's no way of +teaching it manners, as I knows of. But what boy used to call me Stormy +Jack--that looked as you ought to have looked a few years ago? Ah! now +I have it. Bless my eyes, if you arn't the Rollin' Stone!" + +Stormy then rushed forward, grasped my hand, and nearly crushed it +between his strong, sinewy fingers. + +"Rowley, my boy!" said he, "I knew we should meet again. I've thought +of you, as I would of my own son, if I'd had one. I've looked the world +over, trying to find you. How come you to hail me by name last night? +You are an astonishing chap. I knew you would be; and some one has +larnt you manners. Ah! I suppose 'twas Nature as did it?" + +I need not say, that Stormy and I, after this singular renewal of +companionship, were not likely to part in a hurry. We passed that day +together, talking over old times--Stormy giving me a history of some +events of his life, which had transpired since our parting in New +Orleans. + +"On the morning I last saw you," said he, "I went to work on the ship, +as I intended; and did a hard day's work--for which I've never yet been +paid. + +"When I was going home to you, I met an old shipmate; and, in course, we +went into a grog-shop to have something to drink. + +"After having a glass with my friend at his expense, of course, it was +but right for him to have one at mine. We then parted company; and I +made tracks for the lodging-house, where I had left you. + +"Them two glasses of brandy, after working hard all the afternoon in the +hot sun, did more for me, than ever the same quantity had done before. +I was drunk somewhere, though I was not exactly certain where. + +"Just before reaching the house where we were staying, I met the first +breezer, who, you remember, had knocked me down with the carpenter's +mallet. Well! without more ado, I went to work to teach him manners. + +"While giving him the lesson, I larnt that it was my head that was +drunk: for my legs and arms did their duty. I beat and kicked him in a +way, that would have rejoiced the heart of any honest man. Just as I +was polishing him off, two constables came up, and collared me away to +gaol. + +"The next morning, I was sentenced to one month's imprisonment. Captain +Brannon did not like that: for he wanted me back aboard of his ship. +But the magistrate, mayor, or whatever he was, that sentenced me, had +too much respect for me to allow the captain to have his own way; and I +was lodged and fed, free of all expense, until the `Hope' had sailed. + +"After coming out of the gaol, I went straight to the boarding-house, in +hopes of finding you still there; but I larnt that you had gone away, +the next day after I was jugged; and the old woman could not give any +account of where you had drifted to. I thought that you had joined the +`Hope' again, and gone home. I've been everywhere over the world since +then; and I don't know how I could have missed seeing you before now! + +"I came to San Francisco Bay in an English ship--the captain of which +tried to hinder the crew from deserting, by anchoring some distance from +the city, and keeping an armed watch over them. He thought we were such +fools as to leave San Francisco in his ship for two pounds a month, +when, by taking another vessel, we could get twenty! He soon found his +mistake. We larnt him manners, by tying and gagging him, as well as his +first officer, and steward. Then we all went ashore in the ships' +boats--leaving the ship where I suppose she is now--to rot in the bay of +San Francisco. + +"After coming up to the diggings, I had no luck for a long time; but I'm +now working one of the richest claims as ever was opened." + +During the day, I told Stormy the particulars of my visit to Dublin; and +the trouble I was in concerning the loss of my relatives. + +"Never mind 'em!" said he, "make a fortune here--and then make a family +of your own. I've been told that that's the best way to forget old +friends, though, for myself, I never tried it." + +Stormy's advice seemed wisdom: as it led me to think of Lenore. Before +parting with my old messmate, I learnt from him where he was living. We +arranged to see each other often; and as soon as we should have an +opportunity of dissolving the respective partnerships in which each was +engaged, we should unite and work together. + +Stormy was the first friend who took me by the hand--after I had been +turned out upon the cold world; and time had not changed the warm +attachment I had long ago conceived for the brave sailor. + +Volume One, Chapter XXII. + +On leaving San Francisco, Guinane had declared his intention of going to +the Stanislaus river; and his acquaintances, left behind in that city, +had been directed to write to him at the latter place. + +One Saturday morning, he borrowed a mule from one of the neighbouring +miners, to ride over to the post-office for his letters. + +The miner owning the mule, was just going to his work; and pointed out +the animal to Guinane. It was grazing on the hill-side, about half a +mile distant from our tents. In addition to pointing it out, the owner +described it to be a brown mule, with rat tail, and hog mane. + +He then brought the saddle and bridle out of his tent; and, placing them +at Dick's disposal, went off to his work. + +Dick proceeded towards the hill, caught and saddled the mule, and, +bidding me good-day, rode off on his journey. + +I was expecting him back that evening; but he did not return. I felt no +concern on account of his remaining absent all that night. The next day +was Sunday; and knowing that he would not be wanted to do any work on +the claim, he might, for some purpose that did not concern me, have +chosen to stay all night in the town. + +Sunday evening came, without Guinane; and, fearing that some accident +might have befallen him, I resolved to start next morning for the +post-office, should he not return before that time. + +The next morning came, without bringing back the absentee; and I set out +in search of him. + +After going about five miles, I met him returning; and, to my surprise, +I saw that he was afoot! I was still more surprised as he drew near, +and I obtained a close view of his face and features. Never in my life +had I seen such a change in the person of any individual, in so short a +time. He seemed at least ten years older, than when he left me at the +diggings two days before. + +His face was pale and haggard; and there was a wild fiendish expression +in his eyes, that was fearful to behold. I could not have believed the +eyes of Richard Guinane capable of such an expression. His clothing was +torn to rags, bedaubed with dirt, and spotted with dry blood. In short, +his whole appearance was that of a man who had been badly abused. + +"What has happened?" I asked, mechanically--as soon as my surprise at +his appearance permitted me to speak. + +"I can't tell now," said he, speaking with much difficulty. "I must +have water." + +I turned back; and we walked on towards our tents, in which direction we +had not far to go, before arriving at a coffee-shop. There he drank +some water, with a glass of brandy; and then, ordering a breakfast, he +went out to have a wash in the river--an operation of which I had never +seen a human being in greater need. + +He ate his breakfast in haste--scarce speaking a word until he had +finished. Then, starting suddenly from his seat, he hurried out of the +house; and moved on along the road towards the place where our tents +were pitched. + +"Come on!" cried he. "I cannot stop to talk. I've work to do. I want +revenge. Look here!" + +He stopped till I came up--when, lifting the long dark hair from the +sides of his head, he permitted me to see that he had _no ears_! + +"Will you aid me in obtaining revenge?" he asked. + +"Yes," I answered, "with my body and soul!" + +"I knew you would!" he exclaimed. "Come on! we have no time to lose." + +As we walked homeward, I learnt from him the particulars of the terrible +misfortune that had befallen him. + +On the Saturday morning, after starting off for the town, he had got +about a mile beyond the place where I had met him, when he was overtaken +by a party of four Mexicans. + +Before he was well aware that they had any intention to molest him, a +lazo was thrown over his shoulders; and he was dragged to the ground-- +where his arms were instantly pinioned. + +By signs, he was made to understand: that his captors claimed the mule, +upon which he had been riding. + +Guinane could speak but few words of Spanish; and therefore could not +make the Mexicans understand, how the mule came into his possession. + +After holding a consultation amongst themselves, they took his revolver +from him; and, whilst three of them held him, the fourth cut off both of +his ears! They then mounted their horses, and rode away--taking with +them the mule Guinane had borrowed from the miner. + +After going about three hundred yards, they halted, took off the saddle +and bridle--which they did not claim to own--threw them on the ground, +as also Guinane's revolver; and then continued their course. + +Nothing can be said to justify these men for what they had done; but +probably they could have alleged some excuse for their conduct. + +They undoubtedly believed that Guinane had stolen the mule; and they +knew that if one of their own countrymen had been caught in a similar +act, he would have been fortunate to have escaped with his life. They +saw no reason why an American should not be punished for a misdeed--as +well as a Mexican. + +Guinane pursued them at the top of his speed, insane with grief, and +burning with indignation. + +They soon rode out of his sight; but he continued on after them--until +he fell exhausted to the earth. He must have lain for some hours in a +state of insensibility, partly caused by loss of blood--partly by the +fatigue that had followed the wild raging of his passions. + +It was night when he recovered his senses; and in his endeavours to +reach home, he had wandered among the hills, in every direction but the +right one. + +I have said that he recovered his senses. The expression is hardly +correct. He only awoke to a consciousness that he still existed--a +horrible consciousness of the inhuman treatment he had been submitted +to. His most sane thought was that of a burning thirst for vengeance; +but so intense had been this desire, that it defeated its own object, +rendering him unconscious of everything else, and to such a degree, that +he had only discovered the right road to our camp a few minutes before I +had met with him. + +"The truth is," said he, as he finished telling me his story, "I +returned to the place where I lost my ears, with the insane hope that I +might meet the Mexicans. After having a look at the place, I recovered +my senses once more, enough to direct me towards the only object for +which I now care to live and that is, revenge. I'm not in so much haste +for it now, as I was an hour ago. There's plenty of time. I'm young, +and will find them sometime. Come on! Come on! How slow you walk!" + +We were then going at a pace that might be called running. + +On reaching our tents, we learnt that Guinane had actually taken _the +wrong mule_! The miner from whom he had borrowed it, had not thought it +necessary to describe its brands. Not supposing there was another mule +in the neighbourhood, in any way resembling his own, he had not imagined +there could be any mistake. + +From some diggers, we learnt that the Mexicans we wished to find, had +encamped for the night--near the place where Guinane had caught the +mule; and it was not strange they had accused him of having stolen it. +On recovering the animal, in the manner described, they had returned to +their camp, and shortly afterwards had resumed their journey. By making +some inquiries, we found that they had gone southward. + +As they had no mining tools along with them, we came to the conclusion, +that they were on their way home--into some of the northern provinces of +Mexico. If so, we might easily overtake them, before they could pass +out of California. + +We lost no time in making preparations for the pursuit--the most +important part of which was the providing ourselves with good horses. +In due time, this difficulty was got over, although my bag of gold dust +was much lighter, after the purchase of the horses had been completed. + +By daybreak of the next morning, we were ready for the road. Guinane +kept urging me to expedition--in pursuit of those who had awakened +within his soul a thirst for vengeance, that blood alone could assuage! + +Volume One, Chapter XXIII. + +A CURIOUS CASE OF SELF-MURDER. + +The pursuit conducted us southward; and, at almost every place where we +made inquiry, we heard of four mounted Mexicans--who could be no other +than the men we were desirous of overtaking. + +For the first two days, we were told, in answer to our inquiries, that +they were about forty-eight hours in advance of us. + +On the third morning, we again got word of them at a rancho, where they +had stopped to bait their horses. The owner of the rancho gave a +description of a mule which they were leading along with them--a brown +mule, with rat tail and hog mane. It could be no other than the one, +which had cost Dick so dearly. + +After feeding their animals, the Mexicans had made no further halt; but +had taken the road again--as if pressed for time. So fancied the +ranchero. + +They must have been under some apprehension of being pursued--else they +would not have travelled in such hot haste. It was about forty hours-- +the man said--since they had taken their departure from the rancho. We +were gaining upon them; but so slowly, that Guinane was all the while +chafing with impatience. + +He seldom spoke. When he did, it was to urge me to greater speed. I +had much trouble in holding him sufficiently in check to prevent our +horses from being killed with over riding. + +From information obtained at the rancho, we could now tell that the +Mexicans were making for the sea coast, instead of directing their march +towards the interior. If they intended going overland to the city of +Mexico, they were taking a very indirect road towards their destination. + +At each place where we got word of them--on the fourth day of our +pursuit--we learnt that the distance between us was rapidly lessening. + +Near the evening of this day, we stopped at another rancho, to refresh +our horses--now nearly done up. The Mexicans had stopped at the same +place, six hours before. On leaving it, they had taken the road to San +Luis Obispo. We should arrive there about noon on the following day. + +"To-morrow," said Guinane, as he lay down to snatch a short repose, +while our horses were feeding, "to-morrow I shall have revenge or death! +My prayer is, _God let me live until to-morrow_!" + +Again we were in the saddle--urging our horses along the road to San +Luis Obispo. + +We reached that place at the hour of noon. Another disappointment for +my companion! + +San Louis is a seaport. A small vessel had departed that morning for +Mazatlan, and the Mexicans were aboard of her! + +On arriving at the port, they had hastily disposed of their animals; and +taken passage on the vessel--which chanced to be on the eve of sailing. +We were just one hour too late! + +To think of following them further would have been worse than madness-- +which is folly. By the time we could reach Mazatlan, they might be +hundreds of miles off--in the interior of Mexico. + +Never have I witnessed such despondency, as was exhibited by Guinane at +that moment. + +So long as there had appeared a chance of overtaking the men, who had +injured him, he had been sustained by the hope of revenge; but on our +relinquishing the pursuit, the recollection of the many misfortunes that +had darkened his life, added to this new chagrin, came palpably before +his mind, suggesting thoughts of suicide! + +"'Twas folly to pursue them at all," said he. "I should have known that +the chance of overtaking them would have been a stroke of fortune too +good to be mine. Fate has never yet been so kind to me, as to grant a +favour I so much desired; and I was a fool to expect it. Shall I die?" + +I used every means in my power to direct his thoughts to some other +subject; but he seemed not to heed, either what I said or did. + +Suddenly arousing himself from a long reverie, he emphatically +exclaimed: + +"No! I will war with fate, till God calls me hence! All the curses of +fortune shall not make me surrender. All the powers of Hell shall not +subdue me. I will live, and conquer them all!" + +His spirit, after a terrible struggle, had triumphed; and now rose in +opposition to fate itself. + +We rode back to the Stanislaus. It was a dreary journey; and I was glad +when it was over. There had been an excitement in the chase, but none +in returning from it. Even the horses seemed to participate in the +cloudy change that had come over our thoughts. + +After arriving at the Stanislaus, I went to see Stormy Jack. I found +him hard at work, and doing well in his claim--which was likely to +afford him employment for several weeks longer. I was pleased to hear +of his success; and strongly urged him to abstain from drink. + +"I don't intend to drink any more," said he, "leastwise, as long as I'm +on the diggings; and sartinly not when I have any gold about me. That +last spree, when I came so near losin' it, has larnt me manners." + +Guinane accompanied me on this visit to Stormy; and on our return, we +passed through the town. My partner had left his name at the office of +"Reynold's Express," for the purpose of having his letters forwarded +from the General Post-office in San Francisco. As we passed the Express +Office, he called in, to see if any had arrived for him. + +A letter was handed to him--for which he paid in postage and express +charges, one dollar and fifty cents! + +After getting the letter, we stepped into a tavern, where he commenced +reading it. + +While thus occupied, I noticed that he seemed strangely agitated. + +"We are friends," said he, turning short towards me. "I have told you +some of my troubles of the past. Read this letter, and make yourself +acquainted with some more. It is from Amanda Milne." + +He held the letter before my eyes, and I read:-- + +"I know your upright and manly spirit will see no impropriety in my +writing to you. I have done you injustice; and in doing so, have +wronged myself, as much as you. I have just learnt that your character +has been injured by a fault of mine--by my not having acknowledged +giving you the purse. Forgive me, Richard! for I _love_ you, and _have +loved_ you, ever since I was a child."--Guinane crumpled the letter +between his fingers, and I was able to read no more. I saw him suddenly +raise his hands towards the place where once were his ears--at the same +time that I heard him muttering the words, "Too late! too late!" +Another movement followed this--quick and suspicious. I looked to +ascertain its meaning. A revolver was in his hand--its muzzle touching +his temples! + +I rushed forward; but to use his own last words, I was "too late." + +There were three distinct sounds; a snap, the report of a pistol, and +the concussion of a body falling upon the floor. + +I stooped to raise him up. It was too late. He was dead! + +Can the reader comprehend the thought that dictated this act of +self-destruction? If not, I must leave him in ignorance. + +In preparing the remains of my comrade for the grave, a silk purse, +containing a piece of paper, was found concealed beneath his clothing. +There was writing upon the paper, in a female hand. It was as +follows:-- + + "Dick, + + "I do not believe the stories people tell of you; and think you are + too good to do anything wrong I am sorry you have gone away. Good + bye. + + "Amanda." + +It was, no doubt, the note he had received from Amanda, after his first +parting with her--enclosed in the letter of his mother, sent after him +to New York. It was replaced in the purse, and both were buried along +with his body. + +Poor Amanda! She may never learn his sad fate--unless chance may direct +her to the reading of this narrative. + +Volume One, Chapter XXIV. + +AN IMPATIENT MAN. + +I have not much fault to find with this world--although the people in it +do some strange things, and often act in a manner that puzzles me to +comprehend. The man of whom Guinane had borrowed the mule, was himself +an original character. After my comrade's death, I became slightly +acquainted with this individual; and was much amused, though also a +little pained, at what I thought to be his eccentric behaviour. + +Original types of mankind are, perhaps, more frequently met with on gold +fields than elsewhere. Men without a certain spirit and character of +their own, are less likely to adopt a life of so many perils and +hardships, as gold diggers must needs encounter. + +But there are also men who can _appear_ eccentric--even amongst gold +diggers; and the individual to whom I have alluded was one of these. +His name was Foster. + +The mail from the Atlantic States was due in San Francisco every +fortnight; and, of course, at about the same interval of time, in the +different diggings to which the letters were forwarded--the Stanislaus +among the rest. Three days, before its arrival, at the last mentioned +place, Foster used to leave his work, and go to the post-office--which +stood at a considerable distance from his claim--for letters. He would +return to his tent, as a matter of course, disappointed; but this did +not prevent him from going again to the post-office, about six hours +after. + +"Has the mail arrived yet?" he would inquire of the post-master. + +"No. I told you a few hours ago, that I did not expect it in less than +three days." + +"Yes, I know; but the mail is uncertain. It is possible for it to +arrive two or three days earlier than usual; and I want my letters as +soon as they get in." + +"No doubt," the post-master would say, "no doubt you do; and I advise +you to call again in about three days." + +"Thank you; I will do so," Foster would answer; and six hours after he +would call again! + +"As soon as the mail arrives," the post-master would then tell him, "I +will _send_ your letters to you. It will be less trouble for me to do +that, than to be so often unnecessarily annoyed." + +"No, no!" Foster would earnestly exclaim, "pray don't trust them into +the hands of any one. They might be lost. It is no trouble for me to +call." + +"I can easily believe that," the post-master would rejoin. "If it was +any trouble, you would not come so often. I must, therefore, adopt some +plan to save me from this annoyance. As soon as the mail arrives I will +put up a notice outside the window here, and that will save you the +trouble of coming in, and me of being bothered with your questions. +Whenever you come in front of the house, and do not see that notice, you +may be sure that the mail has not arrived. You understand?" + +"Yes, thank you; but I don't wish to give any unnecessary trouble. I +dare say the mail will be here by the time I come again. Good-day!" + +Six hours after, Foster would be at the post-office again! + +"Any news of the mail?" he would ask. + +"Are you working a good claim?" inquired the post-master once--in answer +to this perpetual dunning. + +"Yes," replied Foster. "Tolerably good." + +"I am sorry to hear it." + +"Why?" + +"Because if you were not doing well, you might be willing to go into +some other business--the post-office for instance--and buy me out. If +you were here yourself, you would have your letters as soon as they +arrived. Since getting _them_ seems to be your principal business, you +should be on the spot to attend to it. Such an arrangement would +relieve me, from a world of annoyance. You worry me, more than all the +rest of the several hundred people who come here for letters. I can't +stand it much longer. You will drive me mad. I shall commit suicide. +I don't wish to be uncivil in a public capacity; but I can't help +expressing a wish that you would go to Hell, and never let me see your +face again." + +Foster's chagrin, at not getting his letters, would be so great, that +the post-master's peculiar wish would pass unheeded; and the +letter-seeker would only go away to return again, a few hours after. + +Usually about the tenth time he called, the mail would be in; and in the +general scramble of the delivery, Foster would get _two letters_--never +more, and never less. + +One evening, near mail time, he was, as usual on a visit to the +post-office after his letters; and his mate--whose name was Farrell-- +having got weary of sitting alone in his tent, came over to mine--to +pass an hour or two in miner's gossip. He told me, that Foster had been +for his letters seven times during the two days that had passed! + +"He will have to go about three times more," said Farrell, "and then he +will probably get them. The mail should be in this evening." + +"Forster appears to think very much of his family?" I remarked to his +partner. "I never saw a person so impatient for news from home." + +"He is certainly very anxious to hear from home," said Farrell, "but not +exactly for the reasons you may be supposing. Foster and I are from the +same neighbourhood, and have known each other for many years. We came +to California together; and I am well acquainted with all the +circumstances under which he is acting. Now, if you hailed from +anywhere near that part of the world to which we belong, I should say +nothing about him; but as you don't, and it's not likely you'll ever +drift in that direction, there can be no more harm in my telling you +what I know, than there would be in talking about some one of whom we +have read, and who has been dead a thousand years ago." + +"Foster married when he was very young--his wife being a woman about ten +years older than himself. She was worse than old--she was plain; and +besides had but very little sense. Add to this, that she was always +ill; and ill-tempered, and you have a woman, whom you will admit could +not be very agreeable for a wife. + +"He had not been married over a week, before he discovered that he had +been making a fool of himself. + +"You have noticed his anxiety about the letters. Well--I shall explain +it. By every mail, he expects news of the death of his wife; and it is +his impatience to hear _that_ which makes him so uneasy about the +arrival of the post. If he should get a letter to-night containing the +news of her death, he would be the happiest man in California; and I +dare say would start for home, within an hour after receiving it." + +I expressed some surprise, that one man should intrust another with such +a disgraceful secret; and plainly proclaimed my disapprobation of +Foster's conduct. + +"You are wrong, my friend," rejoined his partner. "For my part, I +admire his frank and manly spirit. What is the use of one's pretending +that he wishes his wife to live, if he really desires her to die? I +hate a hypocrite, or a person who will, in any way, deceive another. I +don't suppose that Foster can help disliking his wife--any more than he +can keep from sleeping. The feeling may be resisted for a while; but it +will conquer in the end. Foster is a man, in whom I cannot be deceived; +and I respect him for the plain straightforward manner, in which he +avows his sentiments." + +"This indecent impatience to hear of the death of his wife," said I, +"cannot wholly arise from hatred. There is probably some other woman +with whom he is anxious to be united?" + +"That is very, very likely," answered Farrell, "and the second letter he +always receives along with the one from his wife may serve as an +affirmative answer to your conjecture. Well! he is one of the most +open-hearted honourable fellows I ever met; and I don't care how soon +his hopes are realised. Because a man has been foolish a little in his +youth, is no reason why he should always be punished for it." + +Our conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Foster himself--who +appeared in a high state of pleasant excitement. + +"Come on, Farrell!" cried he, "let us go to the tent, and settle up. It +is all over with the old lady; and I start for home by daybreak +to-morrow morning." + +Farrell bade me good-night and Foster, who did not expect to see me +again, shook hands at parting--bidding me a final goodbye. + +There was much in the expression of Foster's countenance that I did not +admire; and, notwithstanding, the apparent openness of his speech, I +could not help thinking him a fellow not only without good feeling, but +hypocritical, and treacherous. + +Farrell purchased his mule, and also his share of the mining tools; and +by break of day the next morning, Foster was on his way to San +Francisco. + +The post-master of Sonora was annoyed by him no more; and Farrell was +left to regret the loss of his plain-speaking partner. + +Volume One, Chapter XXV. + +A BULL AND BEAR FIGHT. + +One Sunday afternoon, seeking for amusement, I walked into Sonora; and, +following a crowd, I reached the "Plaza de Toros." + +The proprietor of this place had gone to a great expense, to get up a +grand entertainment for that day. + +A large grizzly bear had been caught alive in the mountains--about +twenty miles from the town--and, at great trouble and expense, had been +transported in a strong cage to Sonora--to afford amusement to the +citizens of that lively little city. + +To bring the bear from his native wilds, had required the labour of a +large party of men; and several days had been spent in the transport. A +road had to be made most part the way--of sufficient width to permit the +passage of the waggon that carried the cage. Bridges had also to be +thrown over streams and deep ravines; and the bear was not securely +landed in Sonora, until after he had cost the proprietor of the +Bull-ring about eleven hundred dollars. + +Several savage bulls had also been provided for the day's sport; and the +inhabitants of the town, and its vicinity, were promised one of the most +splendid, as well as exciting, entertainments ever got up in California. + +I had before that time witnessed two or three Spanish bull fights; and +had formed a resolution never to see another. But the temptation in +this case--being a bull and bear fight--was too strong to be resisted: +and I paid two dollars--like many others as foolish as myself--for a +ticket; and, armed with this, entered the amphitheatre. + +The _Plaza de Toros_ was a circular enclosure with benches--on which +about two thousand people could be comfortably seated; but, before the +performance had commenced, the place contained three thousand or more. +The first performance was an ordinary Spanish bull fight; and excited +but little interest. The bull was soon killed, and dragged out of the +arena. + +After a short interval, a second bull made his bow to the spectators. +The instant this one showed himself, everybody predicted an exciting +scene: for the animal leaped into the arena, with a wild bellowing, and +an expression of rage, that portended a very different spectacle, from +that exhibited by his predecessor. + +The _toreros_ appeared surprised--some of them even confounded--by the +fierce, sudden and energetic spring with which the bull charged into +their midst. + +A matador standing alone, in the arena, is in but little danger--even +when pursued by the fiercest bull. It is when three or four of the +toreros are in the ring together--getting in one another's way while +turning to avoid his horns--that the bull has the advantage over his +adversaries. At such times, the bull-fighter runs a great risk of +getting badly gored, or even killed outright. + +The latter misfortune happened to one of the men, on the occasion in +question. The second bull that had promised such a savage exhibition of +his fierce strength, did not disappoint the spectators. In the third or +fourth charge which he made among the matadors, he succeeded in impaling +one of their number upon his horns. The body of the unfortunate man was +lifted clear up from the ground, and carried twice round the ring-- +before the bull thus bearing him could be despatched! + +Of course, the man was dead; and had been so, long before being taken +off the animal's horns. His heart's blood could be seen running in a +thick stream down the shaggy forehead of the bull, and dripping from his +nose, as he carried the inanimate form around the arena! + +The dead bodies of both man and animal were taken out of the place +together, and on the same cart, the only interval allowed to elapse +between the sports, was the short half hour necessary to making +preparation for the grand spectacle of the day--the fight between the +bear and a bull! + +The cage containing the grizzly was drawn into the ring by a span of +horses--which were at once taken away; and then a small, and not a very +formidable "toro," was led into the arena by several men, who guided him +with their long lazos. + +The appearance of this bull was disappointing to the spectators, who +fancied that a much larger animal should have been chosen to encounter +the savage monster of the mountains. The explanation was conjectured by +all. The bear was worth over one thousand dollars, while the bull cost +only twenty-five; and from this disparity in price, it was evident that +the owner of both wished to give grizzly the advantage in the fight. +This was made certain, by the proprietor himself coming forward with the +unexpected proposal: that before commencing the fight, the bull should +have the tips shaved off from his horns! "This," he said, "would hinder +the bear from receiving any serious injury; and it could be exhibited in +a fight on some other Sunday!" + +But the spectators wished to see a good fight on this Sunday, and a fair +fight as well. They did not wish to see the poor bull deprived of his +natural means of protecting himself; and then torn to pieces by the +claws of the favoured bear. + +The master of the amphitheatre was about to carry out his economic +project--when a scene ensued that beggars all description. It ended in +the bull being allowed to retain the tips of his horns. + +The action now commenced. The hind leg of the bear was pulled out of +the cage door--which was partially opened for the purpose. The leg was +made fast, by a strong log chain, to a stake that had been driven deep +into the ground near the centre of the arena. The door was then thrown +wide open; but, notwithstanding this apparent chance of recovering his +liberty, the bear refused to take advantage of it. + +A rope was then made fast to the back of the cage, and attached to a +horse standing outside the enclosure. By this means, the cage was +dragged away from the bear, instead of the bear being abstracted from +the cage--leaving the animal uncovered in the centre of the arena. The +lazos were next loosed off from the horns of the bull; and the two +combatants were left in possession of the ground--at liberty to exercise +their savage prowess upon each other. + +The bull on regaining his feet, rolled its eyes about, in search of +something on which he might take revenge, for the unseemly way in which +he had just been treated. The only thing he could conveniently +encounter was the bear; and, lowering his muzzle to the ground, he +charged straight towards the latter. + +Bruin met the attack by clewing himself into a round ball. In this +peculiar shape he was tossed about by the bull, without sustaining any +great injury. After he had been rolled over two or three times, he +suddenly unclewed himself; and, springing upward, seized the bull's head +between his fore paws. + +So firm was his grip, that the poor bull could neither advance nor +retreat--nor even make movement in any direction. It appeared as if it +could only stand still, and bellow. + +To make the grizzly let go his hold--in order that the fight might +proceed with more spirit--a man, in the employ of the proprietor, +entered the arena with a bucket of water--which he threw over the bear. +The latter instantly relinquished his hold of the bull; and, rapidly +extending one of his huge paws, seized hold of the servant who had +douched him; and, with a jerk, drew the man under his body. + +Having accomplished this feat, he was proceeding to tear the unfortunate +man to pieces; and had squatted over him with this intention, when a +perfect volley of revolvers--in all about two hundred shots--were fired +at his body. The bear was killed instantly, though strange to say, his +death was caused by a single bullet, out of all the shots that had hit +him; and there were more than a hundred that had been truly aimed! The +only wound, that could have proved fatal to such a monster, was a shot +that had entered one of his ears, and penetrated to the brain. Many +balls were afterwards found flattened against the animal's skull, and +his skin was literally peppered; but, though the man, at the time the +shots were fired, was clutching the bear's throat with both hands, he +was not touched by a single bullet! + +There were two circumstances connected with this affair, that, happening +in any other land but California, would have been very extraordinary. +One was, the simultaneous discharge of so many shots, at the moment when +the bear was seen to have the man in his power. It might have been +supposed, that the spectators had been anticipating such an event, and +were ready with their revolvers: for the bear's seizing the man, seemed +a preconcerted signal for them to fire. + +Another remarkable circumstance was, that, although the discharge of so +many pistols was sudden and unexpected, and proceeded from every point +round the circle of the amphitheatre--where thousands of people were +crowded together--no one but the bear was injured by the shots! + +It was a striking illustration of some peculiarities in the character of +the energetic self-relying men of the world, that then peopled +California. + +In the "Plaza de Toros"--witnesses of the scenes I have attempted to +describe--were many young girls belonging to the place, as well as +others, from Mexico, Chili, and Peru. During the continuance of that +series of exciting scenes--which included the killing of one person by +empalement upon a bull, the mutilation of another by the claws of a +grizzly bear, and the destruction of the bear itself, by a volley of +revolvers--these interesting damsels never allowed the lights of their +cigarritos to become extinguished; but calmly smoked on, as tranquil and +unconcerned, as if they had been simply assisting at the ceremony of a +"fandango!" + +Volume One, Chapter XXVI. + +STORMY'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY. + +In my rambles about Sonora and its vicinity, when seeking amusement, on +what is called the "first day of the week." I was generally accompanied +by Stormy Jack. + +During my early acquaintance with the old sailor, I was too young to +have formed a correct opinion of his character; and my respect for him, +was based entirely upon instinct. + +Now that I was older, and possessed of a more mature judgment, that +respect--instead of having diminished--had increased to such a degree, +as to deserve the name of admiration. I could not help admiring his +many good qualities. He loved truth; and spoke it whenever he said +anything. He was frank, honest, sociable, and generous. He had an +abhorrence of all that was mean--combined with a genuine love for fair +play and even-handed justice of every kind. He was in the habit of +expressing his opinions so frankly, that, on the slightest acquaintance, +every honest man became his friend, and every dishonest one his enemy. + +Stormy was, in truth, one of nature's noblemen--such a one as is seldom +met with, and never forgotten. He was instinctively a gentleman; and +the many long years in which he had been associated, with those who are +thought to be lowest in the scale of civilisation, had not overcome his +natural inclination. + +Stormy was strong on all points but one; and that was, in the resisting +his appetite for strong drink. To this he too often yielded. + +"Do not think, Rowley," said he one evening, when I chanced to allude to +this subject, "that I can't keep from thinking, if I tried. I never +drank when I was young: for I had some hope and ambition then; and I +could see the silliness of giving way to such a habit. It is only since +I have become old Stormy Jack, and too old for my bad habits to be of +any consequence to myself, or any one else. No, Rowley, it don't +signify much now, how often I get drunk--either in my mind or legs. +When I was young, like you, I had no one to teach me manners--except the +world; and it did larn me some. Wherever I went, every one appeared to +think it was their business to teach me manners; and the way they went +about it, was not always very gentle. I've seen hard times in this +world, Rowley, my lad." + +"I have no doubt of it, Stormy," said I, "for you have that appearance. +You look as though, man, fate, and time had all used you roughly." + +"And so they have. I've nobody to thank for anything, unless it is the +Almighty, for having given me health and strength to out-live what I +have passed through; and I'm not sartin that I should be thankful for +that. If you like, Rowley, I'll tell you something of my history; and +it'll give you an idea of the way the world has used me." + +"I should like it much." + +"Here goes then! The first thing I can remember, is a father who used +to get drunk in the legs; and the second, a mother who would as often +get drunk in the head. + +"As my father, when intoxicated, could not stand on his feet, nor move +from the place in which he chanced to be, my mother would take advantage +of his helplessness; and used to teach him manners, in a way that always +kept his countenance covered with scratches, cuts, and bruises. I may +add, that she served myself in a very similar manner. If ever either my +father, or I, were seen in the streets without a fresh wound on our +faces, the neighbours knew that there was no money in the house, or +anything that would be received at a pawn shop for so much as sixpence. +The soundness of our skins would prove the scarcity of cash in my +father's establishment; or as they say here in Californy, that we were +`hard up.' + +"About the time I was thirteen years of age, my parents discovered that +they could no longer maintain themselves, much less me; and they sought, +and found, a home in the work-house--whither I was taken along with +them. + +"Both died in the work-house the year after entering it; and I was +apprenticed, or I might say hired out, to a baker. + +"In this situation, I had a world of work to do. I had to sit up all +night, helping the journeymen to make the bread; and then I had to go +out for two or three hours every morning--with a heavy basket of loaves +on my head, to be delivered to the customers living here and there. In +addition to this hard work, I was nearly starved. The only time I could +get enough to eat, was when I was out on my rounds with the bread, when +I could steal a little scrap from each loaf--in such a way that the +morsel wouldn't be missed. + +"I've not yet told you, that my native place is London; and if you know +anything of that city, you may have some idea of the life I lived when a +child, with two miserable, poor, and drunken parents. + +"Well, I staid with the baker above two years; and though I was nearly +killed with hard work and want of food--as well as sleep--that, perhaps, +wasn't the most unhappy part of my life. There was a worse time in +store for me. + +"The baker and his wife, who owned and ill-treated me, had a little girl +in the house--a slavey they had taken from the same work-house from +which they had fetched me. This girl wasn't treated any better than I +was; and the only happy moments either of us ever had, were when we +could be together, and freely express our opinions of our master and +mistress--both of whom behaved equally bad to us--if anything, the woman +the worst. The girl and I used to encourage each other with hopes of +better times. + +"I had seen many little girls in the streets, dressed very fine, and +looking clean, well-fed, and happy; and some of them I thought very +beautiful. But none of them appeared so beautiful, as the one who was +being worked and starved to death in the same house with myself--though +her dress was nothing but a lot of dirty rags. + +"By the time I had got to be sixteen years of age, I was too much of a +man to stand the ill-usage of the baker and his wife any longer; and I +determined to run away. + +"I did not like to leave behind me my companion in misery; but as I +thought, that, in a few weeks I should make a little fortune, and be +able to find her a better home, we became reconciled to the idea of +parting with one another. + +"One morning I bade her good-bye; and started off with the basket of +bread on my head to go my rounds. + +"When I had nearly completed the delivery, and had left with different +customers all but the last loaf, I set down the basket, took this loaf +under my arm, and was free. + +"I went straight to the docks to look out for something; and, before the +day was over, I found a situation aboard a schooner in the coal trade-- +that was about to sail for Newcastle. + +"The skipper of this vessel was also its owner; and himself and his +family used it as their regular home. + +"I was determined to please this man--not only by doing my duty, but as +much more as I could. I succeeded in gaining his good will. + +"We went to Newcastle, took in a cargo; and by the time we reached +London again, the skipper would not have been willing to part with me, +had I desired to leave him. When we got back to London, he gave me +liberty to come ashore; and made me a present of half-a-crown, to spend +as I liked. + +"It was the largest sum of money I had ever owned; and, with it in my +possession, I thought that the time when I might take my little fellow +servant away from the hard life she was leading, could not be far away. +I determined not to spend one penny of the money upon myself; but to go +ashore at once, and make a bold push towards getting the girl away from +the place where she was staying. + +"I told the skipper all about her--what sort of a home I had left her +in--and the cruelties she was still likely to be enduring. + +"He talked to his wife; and after they had asked me a good many +questions: as to whether the girl was well-behaved, and used no bad +language--they told me that I might bring her aboard the vessel then +lying in the river; and that she might look after the three children, +and do anything else to make herself useful. + +"I started off on my errand, in better spirits than I had ever been in +before. I was afraid to go near the baker's house, for fear I should be +seen from the shop and might have trouble in getting away again: for I +had been regularly bound as his apprentice. So I watched the +public-house--where I knew the girl would be sure to come for the supper +beer in the evening. + +"After I had been looking out for about half an hour, she came, looking +more beautiful, more ragged and dirty, than when I had last seen her, +four weeks before. + +"`Come on, Ann!' I cried. (Ann was her name.) `Come on! Fling away +your jug, and follow me!' + +"I ran up to her, while I was speaking. + +"She dropped the jug--not because I had told her to do so--but from the +excitement of her surprise at seeing me. It fell out of her hands on +the pavement; and was broken to pieces. + +"`Follow me,' said I, `I've another home for you.' + +"She gave one glance at the broken jug; and probably thought of her +mistress, and the beating she would be sure to get, should she go home +without the jug and the supper beer. That thought decided her. She +then took my hand; and we started off towards the river. + +"I am going to cut my story short," said Stormy, after a pause--during +which he seemed to suffer from some painful reflection. "For nine years +I worked for that girl. Part of the time I was getting good wages--as +the second mate of a large ship, running to Charleston, in the United +States; and all of my money was spent in keeping Ann in a good home, and +in having her taught to read and write, and behave herself like a lady. + +"To deny myself every comfort, for the sake of saving money for her, was +my greatest pleasure. I have often crossed the Atlantic without proper +clothing; so that Ann might be placed beyond the danger of want, while I +was gone. + +"During these nine years, I drank no grog, nor liquor of any kind. I +would not even take a glass at the expense of any of my messmates, +because I would be expected to stand a glass in return; and there was +more pleasure in saving the money for Ann, than in spending it on what +could only injure me. I have often walked the cold wet decks with my +feet freezing for the want of a pair of socks and good boots--because +these things would cost money: and all that I could make I wished to +spend only for the benefit of Ann, who was always in my thoughts--the +idol of my soul. + +"While making my voyages across the Atlantic, I got some of my +companions to learn me to read and write a little. I worked very hard +at this, when I could find time. There were two reasons for my wishing +to be able to write: the first, because I had some desire to learn on my +own account; and the other reason was, that when I should marry Ann, I +did not wish her to have a husband who could not write his own name. + +"When I had got to be about twenty-three years of age, I began to think +of getting married. I was earning good wages; and had saved enough +money to furnish a little house for Ann. Just about that time, however, +I noticed she had begun to treat me with a little coldness. I had been +so very saving of my money, that I always went rather shabbily dressed; +and I at first thought that she might be a little ashamed of my +appearance. I knew that this would not be right on her part; but I also +knew that women have got vanity; and that they cannot help a feeling of +that kind. I could not think that it was possible for Ann not to love +me--after the many sacrifices I had made for her--for I deserved her +love, and had fairly earned it. I thought that if there was a man +worthy of being loved by her, and having her for his wife, I was that +man, for I had done all that I was able to gain her good will; and no +one can do more. I was under the belief, too, that she loved me: for +she had many a time told me so. You may imagine, then, how I was taken +aback, when one time that I returned from a voyage to give her all the +money I had earned, I found that she treated me very coldly; and that +every day she grew colder and colder, and seemed as if she only wanted +to get clear of my company." + +At this interesting crisis of his story, Stormy was interrupted by the +entrance of two of our mining neighbours, who came into our tent to have +a quiet game of "uker" along with us. + +Volume One, Chapter XXVII. + +ANN. + +I had been much interested in Stormy's story of his early life; and the +next evening, I went over to his tent, and taking a seat upon the +ground, requested him to continue it. + +"All right, Rowley, my boy," said he, in answer to my appeal. "I +believe that I left off last night, where the girl, after my having +worked nine years for her, had begun to treat me with coldness. + +"Well, on becoming sure of this, I determined to find out the reason. I +knew there must be something wrong; and I made up my mind to find out +what it was--though it might lead to the breaking up of all my fine +prospects. One day, when my ship was about to start on a new trip to +Charleston, I settled scores with the captain, and left her. Ann was +under the belief, that I had gone off in the vessel; but she was +mistaken. I had stopped behind, to keep an eye on herself. A few +months before, I had given her some money--to enable her to go into +partnership with a widow, in keeping a little stationery and toy shop-- +and she was now in that business. My scheme was to keep an eye on the +shop; and see what was going on. I had not been very long playing spy, +before I found out the lay of the land. A young fellow of a swellish +appearance, used to pay visits to the shop, nearly every day of the +week. He came in the evening; and Ann would go out with him to theatres +and dancing places. + +"I watched the fellow to his home, or to his lodgings--for he lived in a +two-pair back; and from there I tracked him to his place of business. I +found that he was what in London is called a `clerk.' He was a thing +unworthy of Ann; but, of course, that being the case, he did not know +it; and I could see from his vain looks that he thought sufficiently of +himself--too much to marry Ann. From what I saw, I had no doubt that he +was deceiving her. + +"I scarce knew what to do: for there was no use in telling the girl that +she was being deceived. She would not have believed me. + +"If she had believed me, and given the puppy up, it would not have made +much difference to me. My confidence in her was gone. I could have had +it no more. She had acted ungrateful to me--by giving her preference to +a conceited swell--who took her about to places of amusement, where men +do not take young girls, whom they intend afterwards to marry. Ann had +proved herself unworthy of a love like mine. I had toiled for her, and +loved her, for nine long years; and this was the return. + +"My good resolutions all forsook me--by the shock which her ingratitude +gave me; and ever since that time, I've been only Stormy Jack, and +nothing more. You know what he is." Stormy once more relapsed into +silence, as if his story had been concluded. More deeply interested +than ever, I desired to know more. In answer, to my request, he resumed +his narrative. + +"Well," continued he. "My next voyage was a long one. I made the trip +to India, and was gone fourteen months; but on my return, at the end of +that time, I had not forgotten Ann. I still loved her--although I knew +that she could never be my wife. Even had she consented, my pride would +not allow of my marrying her now. + +"When I got back from India, I went to the little shop to enquire for +her. She was no longer there. I found her in the work-house--the same +from which she had been taken when a child. She was the mother of a +child, seven months old; and had never been married. I determined to +teach her manners. You may think it strange, Rowley, but I was now, +more than ever, resolved she should love me. It would be some +satisfaction for what I had suffered on her account. I knew my motive +wasn't altogether as it ought to have been, but I could not help doing +as I did. + +"When paid the wages, owing me by the East Indiaman, I had about +twenty-five pounds to the good; and, with this money, I took Ann out of +the work-house, and placed her in a comfortable home. I acted, to all +appearance, as kindly to her, and seemed as affectionate as I had ever +been; and I even gave her more of my company than I had ever done +before. When she came to contrast my conduct with that of the heartless +villain who had ruined and deserted her, she could not help loving me. +On her knees, and with tears in her eyes, she confessed her folly, and +sorrow for the past; and prayed for me to forgive her. + +"`Of course, I forgive you, Ann,' said I, `or I would not have returned +to you.' + +"`And will you love me as much as you once did?' she then asked. + +"`Certainly I will.' + +"`John,' she said, `you are the most noble-minded man in the world; and +I only begin to know your real worth. Oh! what a fool I have been, not +to have known it before! You are better than all other men on the +earth!' + +"Ann had got over the folly of her girlhood. The sorrows which she had +suffered during the last few months, had taught her wisdom, and brought +repentance; and she now believed, that such love as I had offered her +was of some value. + +"I visited her every day; and appeared to take such an interest in the +welfare, both of herself and her child, that I, at length, became +certain that she loved me. She could not have helped it, had she tried. +Poor girl! she fancied she was going to be happy again; but she was +mistaken. + +"When my money was all spent, I prepared to take leave of her. Before +going, I told her the truth, that I had loved her, ever since she was a +child; and that I ever would; but that I could never make her my wife. +After what had transpired, I could never be happy as her husband. + +"`I shall never forget you, Ann,' said I. `Whenever I have a pound in +my pocket, you are welcome to fifteen shillings of it; but _my_ +happiness, for this world, you have entirely destroyed; and I can never +marry you, as I once intended to do. You know the many years that I +toiled for you; and was that not proof that I loved you dearly? All +that I have done, I am willing to do again; but what I had hoped to do, +is no longer possible. You have not proved worthy of my love, and can +never be my wife.' + +"As I said this, she was nearly distracted; and declared that she would +never accept another shilling from me. She promised to do for me all +that I had done for her: to work for me, and let me live in idleness. I +had at last succeeded in winning her love. + +"Perhaps I was wrong in having done so; but the manner in which I had +been myself wronged, rendered me incapable of acting honest. I could +not help taking this way to larn her a little manners. There was +another I intended larning a lesson to, before I left London; but I +determined to teach him in a very different way. It was the swell that +had ruined Ann. + +"I looked out for him; and found him in the street, on the way to his +place of business. I laid one o' my flippers on his shoulder, to keep +him from escaping, while I gave him his lesson with the other. I +flattened his nose, nearly tore off one of his ears; and did him some +other damage besides. The police pulled me off o' him; and I was taken +away to the station, and next day brought before a magistrate. + +"I only got two months for giving the conceited snob his lesson, which I +didn't much regret, for I was just as well off in the gaol as anywhere +else. My time or my liberty was worth nothing more to me. When again +set free, I made another voyage to India, and got back in fourteen +months. + +"When I returned, Ann was dead. She had died in the same work-house, in +which she was born. + +"Since then, there has been no particular reason why I should behave +myself; and I have been, as you see me, old Stormy Jack. I never again +thought of getting married. I could only love but one; and that one it +was not my fate to be spliced to. I suppose it was never intended I +should get married. At all events, I don't mean to try. I made one +girl miserable by not marrying her; and I might make another miserable +if I did." + +With this hypothetical reflection, Stormy concluded his sad story. + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +END OF VOLUME ONE. + +Volume Two, Chapter I. + +A STRANGE SUMMONS FROM STORMY. + +As already stated, I had left the northern diggings with the design of +going to the Tuolumne river; and that on my way to the latter place I +had met Guinane--who had induced me to relinquish my design, and stop +awhile on the Stanislaus. + +Now that Guinane was gone, and the claim in which we had been partners +worked out, there was nothing to hinder me from carrying out my original +intention; and I resolved, to leave the Stanislaus' diggings, and +proceed onward to the Tuolumne. + +Stormy Jack, who stayed behind, promised to join me, as soon as he +should have worked out his claim on the Stanislaus--which he expected to +do in about three weeks. + +On reaching the Tuolumne, I proceeded to Jacksonville--a little mining +village, where, after looking about a couple of days, I purchased two +shares in a claim that lay upon the bank of the river. + +Not liking the sort of work required to be done on this claim--which was +wet--I employed men to work it for me. I could afford to do this: for, +having toiled hard ever since my arrival in the diggings, and not having +been either unsuccessful or extravagant, I had begun to believe that +Lenore might yet be mine. The brighter this hope became, the more value +did I set on my life; and was therefore careful not to endanger my +health by working in a "wet claim." + +Another change had taken place in my domestic arrangements. I no longer +lived in a miner's tent, nor did I continue to act as my own cook and +washer-woman. I was worth several hundred pounds; and began to have a +better opinion of myself than ever before. So proud was I of possessing +such a sum of money, that had I been in Liverpool at that time, I should +not have hesitated to talk of love to Lenore. + +The life of most gold-diggers is wretched beyond belief. The +inconveniences and hardships they endure are but poorly repaid, by their +freedom from the irksome regulations and restraints of more civilised +life. I have seen miners eating bread that had been kneaded _in a hat_, +and baked in the hot ashes of their camp fire! I have seen them +suffering many hardships--even hunger itself--at the very time they were +encumbered with ponderous bags of gold! + +In the days when gold-digging was romantic and fashionable, I have seen +learned lawyers, skilled physicians, and eloquent divines--who had been +seduced by the charms of a miner's life--passing the Sabbath day at the +washtub, or seated outside their tents, needle in hand, stitching the +torn seams of their ragged and scanty clothing. I had myself been +following this rude manner of life, ever since my arrival at the +diggings; but it had now lost its charms, and after reaching the +Tuolumne, I took up my residence in a French boarding-house. + +My two shares in the claim I had purchased soon began to yield a rich +return, so that I was able to purchase several more, and also employ +more men in working them. + +One day I received a visit from Stormy Jack, who had come over from the +Stanislaus, as he said, "to take bearings before sailing out from +Sonora." + +He saw how comfortably I was living in Jacksonville; and that I was +making money without much hard work. + +"I'll come and live like you," said he, "for I am getting too rich +myself to go on as I've been doing. I won't stand hard work any +longer." + +After spending the day with me, he returned to Sonora--with the +intention of selling out his claims on the Stanislaus, and coming to +reside at Jacksonville. + +The day after he had gone away--which chanced to be Saturday--at a late +hour of the evening, I received a letter from him. He had written it +that morning, and sent it to me by a shopkeeper who chanced to be +returning to Jacksonville. So badly was the letter written, that I was +occupied all the rest of the evening deciphering it; but after spending +much time, patience, and ingenuity upon the epistle, I arrived at a +tolerable understanding of the intelligence it was intended to convey. + +Stormy commenced by stating, that I must excuse all faults: for it was +the first letter he had written for a period of more than thirty years. +In fact, all correspondence of an epistolary kind on Stormy's part had +been discontinued on the death of Ann! + +I was then informed, in the old sailor's characteristic fashion, that a +murder had just been committed on the Stani. A woman had been killed by +her husband; and the husband had been summarily tried, and found guilty +of the crime. + +The next day, at noon, the miners were going to teach the murderer +"manners," by hanging him to a tree. I was advised to come over, and be +a spectator of the lesson--for the reason that Stormy believed we had +both seen the guilty man before. Stormy was not sure about this. The +murderer bore a name, that he had never heard me make use of; but a name +was nothing. "I've a bit of a fancy in my head," wrote Stormy, "that I +have seen the man many years ago; and that _you_ will know who he is-- +though I can't be sartain. So come and see for yourself. I'll expect +you to be at my tent, by eleven o'clock in the mornin'." + +Who could the murderer be, that _I_ should know him? Could Stormy be +mistaken? Had he been drinking; and this time become affected in the +brain, instead of the legs? + +I could hardly think it was drink. He would not have taken the trouble +to write, his first epistle in thirty years, without some weighty +reason. + +I went to see the store-keeper who had brought the letter. From him I +learnt that a murder _had_ been committed by a man from Sydney, and that +the murderer was to be hung on the following day. + +As I continued to reflect on the information I thus received, a horrid +thought came into my mind. Could the murderer be Mr Leary? Could his +victim have been my mother? + +There was a time when this thought would have produced on me a different +effect from what it did then, a time when, dark as might have been the +night, such a suspicion would have caused me to spring to my feet and +instantaneously take the road to Sonora. + +It did not then. I now felt less interest in the mystery I had so long +been endeavouring to solve. Time, with the experience it brought, had +rendered me less impulsive, if not less firm in purpose. I could not, +however, sleep upon the suspicion; and after passing a wretched night, I +was up before the sun. + +Sonora was about thirteen miles distant from the Tuolumne diggings. It +would be a pleasant morning walk; and I determined to go afoot. The +exercise would only give me an appetite--so that I should enjoy my +breakfast after reaching the Stanislaus. I could take plenty of time on +the way, and still be there by nine o'clock--two hours sooner Stormy +expected me. + +I started along the road--meditating as I walked onward, what course I +should pursue, supposing the murderer should turn out to be Leary, and +supposing the murdered woman to be my mother! + +Mr Leary was the husband of my mother. He was my stepfather. Should I +allow him to be hung? + +Such thoughts coursed rapidly through my mind, as I proceeded along the +solitary path. I could not check them, by the reflection that, after +all, the man might _not_ be Mr Leary. Why I had thought of him at all, +was because I could think of no other man that Stormy and I had both +known before--at least, none who was likely to have committed a murder. +But my correspondent might still be mistaken; and the condemned criminal +be a stranger to both of us? + +When I had walked about a mile along the main road to Sonora I left it-- +knowing that I could make a shorter cut by a path, leading over the +ridge that separates the valleys of the Stanislaus and Tuolumne. + +I had got, as I supposed, about half-way to Sonora; and was passing near +a chapperal thicket, when a large grizzly bear rushed out of the bushes, +and advanced straight towards me. + +Fortunately a large live oak tree was growing near, with limbs that +extended horizontally. I had just time to climb up among the branches. +A second more, and I should have been grasped by the claws of the +grizzly. Unlike his congener the brown bear, the _grizzly_ cannot climb +a tree, and knowing this I fancied myself safe. + +Taking a seat on one of the limbs of the live oak, I proceeded to +contemplate the interesting position in which I was placed. The bear +had a brace of cubs playing in the chapperal near by. I could hear them +sniffing and growling; and soon after got sight of them, engaged in +their uncouth, bearish frolics. It would have been pleasant enough to +watch these creatures; but the prospect of how I was to regain my +liberty soon became the sole subject of my thoughts--by no means a +pleasant one. + +I saw that, the bear was not inclined to leave the tree, while her +interesting family was so near. That seemed certain. The chance of any +person passing, near that lonely place, was one against a hundred. The +path was very little used, and only by an occasional pedestrian like +myself. + +To ensure the safety of her offspring, the bear might keep me up that +tree until her cubs had arrived at the age of discretion, and be able to +take care of themselves. Under the circumstances, I could not subsist +so long. + +Always having allowed myself to believe, that a civil tongue, a good +bowie-knife, and the sense to mind my own business, were a much better +protection than fire-arms, I seldom carried a revolver--as most people +in California, at that time, were in the habit of doing. I now found +need of the weapon, when I had it not. + +I was not, however, wholly unprovided with what might console me in my +dilemma: for I had some good cigars and a flask of brandy,--that +happened to have been put into my pocket the night before. To aid me in +calculating the chances of regaining my liberty, I took a pull at the +flask, and then lighted a cigar. + +Volume Two, Chapter II. + +A GRIZZLY ON FIRE. + +During all this time, the bear had been energetically trying to pull +down, or eat up, the tree; and I only felt secure, when I saw that she +had not the ability to do either. + +But the business upon which I was bound to Sonora now came before my +mind. It seemed to have become greatly magnified in importance, so much +so, that I began to fancy, that all my hopes for the future depended on +my finding Stormy Jack before twelve o'clock. Time was rapidly passing, +without my making any progress towards the place of appointment. + +"What shall I do?" was the thought that seemed to run like hot lead +through my skull. + +The excited state I was in hindered the enjoyment I usually have in +smoking a good cigar; and the fire of the one I had lit soon became +extinguished. + +Imbued with the belief that smoking tranquillises an agitated mind, and +brings it to a fitter state for contemplation, I relighted the cigar. + +I knew from the implacable disposition of the grizzly bear, that the old +she that besieged me was not likely to leave the tree so long as I was +in it; and the length of my captivity would probably depend on which of +us could longest resist the demands of hunger. + +My cigars--unlike some that I have often been compelled to smoke--could +not be used as _substitute for food_: since they were composed neither +of turnip tops nor cabbage leaves. + +The day was intensely hot; and I had grown thirsty--a sensation that +brandy would not remove. The longer I kept my perch, the more my +impatience pained me, indeed, life seemed not worth possessing, unless I +met Stormy at the time he had appointed. I felt the terrible exigency; +but could not think of a way to respond to it. There was every +probability of the next day finding me no nearer Sonora, but much nearer +death, than I was then. The agony of thirst--which the feverish anxiety +caused by my forlorn condition each moment increased--would of itself +make an end of me. + +The idea of descending from the tree, and fighting the bear with my +bowie-knife, was too absurd to be entertained for a moment. To do so +would be to court instant death. + +I have already stated that at the time of which I write, California was +disgraced by such spectacles as combats between a grizzly bear and a +bull. + +I had witnessed three such exhibitions; and the manner in which I had +seen one of the former knock down and lacerate a bull with a single blow +of its paw, was enough to make me cautious about giving the old she an +opportunity of exhibiting her prowess upon myself. + +The remembrance of such scenes was enough to have made me surrender +myself to positive despair. I had not, however, quite come to that. + +A scheme for regaining my liberty at length suggested itself; and I +believe it was through smoking the cigar that the happy idea occurred to +me. + +To the branch on which I was sitting was attached a tuft of a singular +parasitive plant. It was a species of "Spanish moss," or "old man's +beard," so called, from the resemblance of its long white filamentary +leaves to the hairs of a venerable pair of whiskers. + +The plant itself had long since perished, as I could tell from its +withered appearance. Its long filaments hung from the limb, crisp and +dry as curled horse-hair. + +Reaching towards it, I collected a quantity of the thread-like leaves, +and placed them, so that I could conveniently lay hands upon them when +wanted. + +My next move was to take out the stopper of my brandy flask--which done, +I turned the flask upside down, and spilled nearly the whole of its +contents upon the back of the bear. What was left I employed to give a +slight moistening to the bunch of Spanish moss. + +I now drew forth my lucifers--when, to my chagrin, I saw that there was +but one match left in the box! + +What if it should miss fire, or even if igniting, I should fail with it +to light the dry leaves? + +I trembled as I dwelt upon the possibility of a failure. Perhaps my +life depended upon the striking of that one match? I felt the necessity +of being careful. A slight shaking of the hand would frustrate my +well-contrived scheme. + +Cautiously did I draw the match over the steel filings on the box, too +cautiously, for no crackling accompanied the friction. + +I tried again; but this time, to my horror, I saw the little dump of +phosphorus that should have blazed up, break from the end of the stick, +and fall to the bottom of the tree! + +I came very near falling myself, for the bright hope that had illumed my +mind was now extinguished; and the darkness of despondency once more set +over my soul. + +Soon, however, a new idea came into my mind--restoring my hopes as +suddenly as they had departed. There was fire in the stump of the cigar +still sticking between my lips. + +The match was yet in my hand; and I saw that there remained upon it a +portion of the phosphoric compound. + +I applied its point to the coal of the cigar; and had the gratification +of beholding it blaze upwards. + +I now kindled the Spanish moss, which, saturated with the brandy, soon +became a blaze; and this strange torch I at once dropped on the back of +the bear. + +Just as I had expected, the brandy, with which I had wetted the shaggy +coat of the bear, became instantly ignited into a whishing, spluttering +flame, which seemed to envelope the whole body of the animal! + +But I was not allowed to have a long look at the conflagration I had +created: for the moment the bear felt the singeing effects of the blaze, +she broke away from the bottom of the tree, and retreated over the +nearest ridge, roaring as she went like a tropical hurricane! + +Never before had I beheld a living creature under such an elevated +inspiration of fear. + +Her cries were soon answered by another grizzly, not far away; and I +knew that no time was to be squandered in making my escape from the +place. + +I quickly descended from the tree; and the distance I got over, in the +succeeding ten minutes, was probably greater than I had ever done before +in twice the time. + +Volume Two, Chapter III. + +LYNCH VERSUS LEARY. + +I reached Stormy's tent about ten o'clock; and found him waiting for me. +I proposed proceeding at once towards the gaol where the condemned man +was kept. I was more impatient than my companion--impatient to see +whether I might identify the criminal. + +"Come on!" said I, "we can talk and walk at the same time." + +The old sailor followed me out of his tent, and then led the way without +speaking. + +"Storm along, Stormy," cried I, "Let me hear what you have to say." + +"It's not much," replied he; "I'm afraid I've been making a fool of +myself, and you too. I saw the man yesterday, who's going to be hung +to-day. I fancied that he was the same as brought you aboard the `Hope' +in Dublin Bay, when you first went to sea--he that you told me was your +stepfather--and who you promised to larn manners if ever you should come +back, and find he had been misbehaving himself. Now it may be all my +own fancy. That was so many years ago that I mightn't remember; but I +couldn't rest satisfied, without having you see him, for yourself." + +I told Stormy that he had acted right; and that I hoped, and should be +pleased, to find that he was mistaken. + +Stormy's doubts had the effect of tranquillising me a little. I was now +very hungry too; and at the first restaurant in our way, I went in, and +ordered some breakfast, which was eaten with an appetite I hoped never +to have again--a hope that was no doubt shared by the proprietor of the +restaurant. + +We then pursued our journey to the place where the prisoner was under +guard. + +The prison was merely a public-house--around which a crowd of people +were beginning to assemble. + +I wished to see the prisoner; but he was in an inside room, with the men +who guarded him; and these were a little particular as to who was +admitted into his presence. I had to wait, therefore, until he should +be led out to execution. + +On finding that I could not be allowed to see the murderer--and as I was +anxious to learn something immediately--I determined on taking a look at +his victim. It would be easy to do this: as the house where the dead +woman was lying was not far distant, from that which contained her +murderer. + +Accompanied by Stormy, I walked over to the house; and we were admitted +into the room where the corpse was lying. The face of the murdered +woman was concealed under a white cloth; and while standing over the +body, I was more strangely agitated than I had ever been before. Should +I, on removing that slight shrouding of cotton, behold the inanimate +features of my mother? + +The suspense was agonisingly interesting. The covering was at length +removed; and I breathed again. The body was not that of my mother; but +of a young woman apparently about nineteen or twenty years of age. She +had been a beautiful woman, and was still so--even in death! + +Less tortured by my thoughts, I followed Stormy back to the +public-house--around which the crowd had greatly increased: for it was +now twelve o'clock, the hour appointed for the execution. + +My heart beat audibly, as the criminal was led forth, surrounded by his +guards and attendants. + +Stormy was right. The murderer was Matthew Leary! + +"What shall I do?" I inquired of Stormy, as we followed the criminal to +the place of execution. + +"You can do nothing," answered Stormy. "Let _them_ teach him manners. +If you interfere, you'll be larnt some yourself." + +There was truth in this. From the temper of the men, who had judged and +condemned the murderer, it was evident I could do nothing to save him. +Perhaps I did not contemplate trying. + +The prisoner was led from the public-house he had been kept in since his +condemnation, to a live oak tree, growing on the top of a high hill, +about half a mile from the town. Under this tree was a grave, that had +been freshly dug. The murderer, as he was conducted forward, must have +seen the grave, and know it to be his final resting-place. For all +that, he approached the tree without any apparent emotion! + +"He is either a very good man, or a very bad one," said one by my side, +"he is going to die game!" + +A cart was drawn up under the live oak; and into it climbed four or five +respectable-looking men--who appeared to be taking a prominent part in +the proceedings. + +One of them requested silence--a request which was immediately complied +with--and the man who made it, then addressed the assembly, in, as near +as I can remember, the following words:-- + +"Gentlemen! Before commencing to execute the painful duty, we have met +to perform, I deem it necessary to give you a brief description of the +circumstances, under which we are called upon to act. The prisoner +before you--_John Mathews_,--has been tried by a jury of twelve men; and +found guilty of the murder of his wife--or a woman living with him as +such. He has been defended by able counsel; and the trial has been +conducted with all the decorum and ceremony required by an occasion so +solemn and important. It has appeared in evidence against the prisoner, +that he was an habitual drunkard; and that his principal means for +indulging, in his unfortunate habits of dissipation, were derived from +his wife--who supported herself, the prisoner, and their child, by +working as a washer-woman. There has been full evidence brought before +the jury, that, on the day the murder was committed, the prisoner came +home drunk, and asked the woman for money. She told him that she had +but three dollars in the house; and that she wanted that to procure +necessaries for her child--in fine, she refused to let him have it. The +prisoner demanded the three dollars, and the woman still refused to give +them up. After he had made a vain attempt to extort the money by +threats, he went across the room, and procured a pistol, with which he +unsuccessfully made an attempt to shoot her. Finding that the weapon +was unloaded, he turned it in his hand, and struck the woman two heavy +blows on the head with its butt. These blows were the cause of her +death--which occurred two hours afterwards. The man who committed this +crime is now before you. As I do not wish to prejudice the mind of any +one, I have simply stated what was proved on the trial; and the question +I now put is--what shall we do with him?" + +The speaker finished by putting on his hat, which was as much as to say, +that his part in the solemn ceremony was performed. + +The firm, earnest voice, in which the address had been delivered, +convinced me that the speaker, who had thus distinguished himself, was +actuated neither by prejudice nor passion. + +From the tenor of the speech he had delivered, I could tell that the +criminal's fate, to a certain extent, still depended on a vote of the +crowd; and in their decision I felt more interested, than even Mr Leary +himself appeared to be! + +Another of the men in the cart now took off his hat; and the murmuring +noise once more subsided. + +"Fellow citizens!" said this second speaker, "I am not here either to +apologise for, or sanction the crime this man has committed. I know, as +well as any man present, the necessity that exists in a land like this, +or, rather, in the state of society in which we live, for the severe +punishment of crime. All I ask of you is, to let this man be punished +by the laws of the country. A system of government--of which you all +approve--has lately been established among us; and arrangements have +been made for the trial and punishment of criminals. Do not take the +law into your own hands. People living in the civilised communities of +Europe and our own country are crying `Shame! shame!' at many +transactions, similar to this, which have occurred in California; and +the same words will be uttered against the proceedings that are taking +place here to-day. I am a magistrate; and have with me a constable. I +will pledge my life that if you will allow us to remove the prisoner, he +shall be brought before a jury and tried by the laws of our country. I +trust that no good citizen will make any objection to our taking that +course with him." + +The magistrate then put on his hat--as a signal that _he_ had nothing +more to say. + +The murmur of the crowd rose higher; and there were heard many cries of +dissent from what had been last said. + +"He's had a fair trial--hang him!" exclaimed one. + +"Hang him now, or he'll escape!" vociferated another. + +There were also a few voices raised on the other side. "Give him up! +Let the magistrate have him!" shouted these last. + +A man now stood up in the cart; and called for a show of hands. + +All in favour of delivering the prisoner into the custody of the law +officers were requested to hold up their right hands. + +About twenty arms were extended into the air! + +A number of these belonged to men who had the appearance of being what +in California were called "Sydney Ducks"--old convicts from New South +Wales; but most of the hands raised were those of well-known gamblers-- +all of whom have an instinctive horror of Justice Lynch. + +Those who were in favour of the prisoner being hung, _then and there_, +were next invited to hold up their right hands. + +In an instant about three hundred arms were held aloft. All of them +that I saw were terminated with strong, sinewy fists, stained only with +toil, and belonging to miners--the most respectable portion of the +population. + +This silent, but emphatic, declaration was considered final. After it +had been delivered, there commenced a scene of wild excitement. + +I rushed through the crowd, towards the tree under which the criminal +stood. As I came up to him, I saw that a rope had been, already noosed +around his neck. + +A man was climbing into the live oak--for the purpose of passing the +rope over one of its branches. + +"Stop!" I cried, "stop for one minute! Let me ask this man a question, +before he dies." + +Mr Leary turned towards me with a stare of surprise; and for the first +time, since being brought upon the ground, did he appear to take any +interest in what was passing! + +"I am the Rolling Stone," I shouted to him, "Tell me, where is my +mother?" + +The murderer smiled, and such a smile! It was the same fiendish +expression he had thrown at me, when I last saw him in the boat in +Dublin Bay. + +"Tell me where I can find my mother!" I again asked, nearly frantic +with rage. + +At this moment the slack end of the lazo, that had been passed over the +branch and then slung back among the crowd, was instantly seized by a +hundred hands. The condemned man seemed not to notice the movement, +while, in answer to my question, the malignant expression upon his +features became stronger and deeper. + +"Away!" I cried, scarcely conscious of what I said or did, "Away with +him!" + +Those holding the rope sprang outward from the tree, and up rose Mr +Leary. + +A few faint kicks, and his body hung motionless from the limb of the +live oak. + +An empty sardine box was nailed to the tree, on which the murderer was +hanging. Above it was pinned a piece of paper--on which were written +the words, "For the orphan." + +Many miners stepped up to the spot, opened their purses; and slipped a +few dollars' worth of gold dust into the box. + +Their example was followed by Stormy Jack; and from the quantity of +yellow dust I saw him drop into the common receptacle, I could tell that +his purse must have been three or four ounces lighter, when he came away +from the tree! + +Volume Two, Chapter IV. + +THE ORPHAN. + +Shortly after the termination of the melancholy drama, in which I had +taken so prominent a part, Stormy Jack and I went to see the child--now +left without either father or mother. + +We found it in the keeping of a young married couple--who had lately +arrived from Australia; and who had there been acquainted with its +unfortunate mother. + +They told us, that the murdered woman was the daughter of a respectable +shopkeeper in Sydney, that she had run away with Mr Mathews--the name +under which Leary had passed in Australia--and that her parents had been +very unwilling she should have anything to do with him. + +She was an only daughter; and had left behind a father and mother sorely +grieved at her misconduct. Everybody that knew her had thought her +behaviour most singular. They could not comprehend her infatuation in +forsaking a good home and kind parents for such a man as Mathews--who, +to say nothing of his dissipated habits, was at least twenty years older +than herself. + +Perhaps it was strange, though I had learnt enough to think otherwise. +Experience had told me, that such occurrences are far from being +uncommon, and that one might almost fancy, that scoundrels like Leary +possess some peculiar charm for fascinating women--at least, those of +the weaker kind. + +The orphan was shown to us--a beautiful bright-eyed boy, about a year +old; and bearing a marked resemblance to its mother. + +"I shall take this child to its grandfather and grandmother in Sydney," +said the young woman who had charge of it; "they will think all the +world of it: for it is so like their lost daughter. May be it will do +something to supply her place?" + +From the manner in which the young couple were behaving towards the +child, I saw that it would be safe in their keeping; and added my mite, +to the fund already contributed for its support. + +In hopes of learning whether my mother had ever reached Sydney, I asked +them if they had been acquainted with Mathews there; or knew anything of +his previous history. On this point they could give me no information. +They had had no personal acquaintance with Mathews in Australia; and all +that they knew or had ever heard of him was unfavourable to his +character. In Sydney, as elsewhere, he had been known as a dissolute, +intemperate man. + +Before we left the house, three men came in--bringing with them the gold +that had been for the orphan. + +It was weighed in the presence of the young man and his wife, and the +amount was fifty ounces--in value near two hundred pounds of English +money. My own contribution increased it to a still greater sum. The +married couple had some scruples about taking charge of the gold, +although they had none in regard to encumbering themselves with the +child! + +"I will go with you to an Express Office," said the man to the +deputation who brought the money, "and we will send it to Mr D--, in +San Francisco. He is a wholesale merchant there, and came from Sydney. +He is acquainted with the child's grandparents; and will forward the +money to them. As for the child, I expect soon to return to Sydney +myself--when I can take it along with me, and give it up to those who +have the right to it." + +This arrangement proving agreeable to all parties concerned, the gold +was at once carried to the Express Office, and deposited there--with +directions to forward it to Mr D--, the merchant. + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +Having passed the remainder of the day in the company of Stormy Jack, I +returned to my home on the Tuolumne, but little better informed about +what I desired to know, than when I left it. I had seen Mr Leary for +the last time; but I was as ignorant as ever of the fate of my +relatives. + +Leary was now gone out of the world, and could trouble my mother no +more--wherever she might be. It was some satisfaction to be certain of +that. + +As I walked homeward my reflections were sufficiently unpleasant: I +reproached myself with having too long neglected the duty on which I had +started out--the search after my relations. + +Nor was I without some regret, as I suffered my mind to dwell on the +spectacle just past. The criminal was my stepfather. I had, though +half unconsciously, given the word, that had launched his body from the +scaffold, and his soul into eternity! + +My regrets could not have been very deeply felt. They were checked by +the reflection, that he could have given me some information concerning +my mother, and that he had died apparently happy with the thought, that +he had disappointed me by withholding it! + +Mr Leary had been my mother's husband--my own stepfather--yet without +shame I have recorded the fact, that he died an ignominious death. I am +not responsible for his actions. I stand alone; and the man who may +think any the less of me, for my unfortunate relationship with a +murderer, is one whose good will I do not think worth having. + +Volume Two, Chapter V. + +STORMY'S LAST SPREE. + +Shortly after my return to the Tuolumne, I was joined by Stormy Jack, +who came to Jacksonville, as he had promised he would, with the +determination to take the world a little easier. + +Since his childhood Stormy had never spent a whole week in idleness--at +least not at a single spell--and such a life he soon found, did not help +him to that supreme happiness he had been anticipating from it. + +In the little town of Jacksonville an idle man could only find +amusement, in some place where strong drink was sold; and to be, day +after day, continually called upon to resist the temptation to drink, +was a trial too severe for Stormy's mental and physical constitution. +Both had to yield. He got drunk frequently; and on several occasions so +very drunk, as to be affected both in his head and legs at the same +time! + +He was himself somewhat surprised at finding himself so often in this +condition of "double drunkenness,"--as he termed it. It was not often +in his life he had been so. It was a serious affair; and he made some +sort of a resolution that it should not occur again. + +To avoid its recurrence, he saw that he must employ himself in some way; +and he purchased a rifle, with the design of transforming himself into a +hunter. + +By following this profession he could combine business with amusement, +as there were other hunters making a very good thing of it, by supplying +the citizens of Jacksonville with venison and bear meat. + +Stormy prosecuted his new calling for about three days. At the end of +that time he had been taught three things. One was, that hunting was +hard work--harder, if possible, than mining. Secondly, he discovered +that the amusement of the chase was, after all, not so grand--especially +when followed as a profession, or by a man of peculiar inclinations, +altogether different to his own. Finally, Stormy arrived at the +conclusion, that the business didn't pay. + +The truth is, Stormy was no marksman; and could only hit a barn, by +going inside, and closing the door before firing off his piece. + +The calling of a hunter was not suited to the old "salt," nor was it of +the kind he required, to keep him from backsliding into his bad habit. +He therefore determined to give it up, and take to some other. + +While deliberating on what was to be done, he again yielded to the old +temptation; and got gloriously drunk. + +Alas, for poor Stormy! It proved the last intoxication of his life! + +The story of his death is too sad to be dismissed in a few words; and +when heard, will doubtless be thought deserving of the "full and +particular" account here given of it. I record the facts, in all the +exactitude and minuteness, with which memory has supplied them to +myself. + +At that time there was staying in Jacksonville a man known by the name, +or soubriquet, of "Red Ned." I had casually heard of the man, though I +had not seen him, as he had only arrived in the place a few days before; +and was stopping at one of the gambling taverns, with which that mining +village was abundantly provided. + +I had heard that Red Ned was a "dangerous man,"--a title of which he was +no little vain; and, probably, ever since his arrival in the place, he +had been looking for an opportunity of distinguishing himself by some +deed of violence. + +In my wanderings over the world I have encountered many of those men +known as "bullies." Notwithstanding the infamy attached to the +appellation, I have found some of them--perhaps unfortunately for +themselves--endowed with genuine courage, while others were mere +cowardly wretches--ever seeking to keep up their spurious reputation, by +such opportunities as are offered in quarrelling with half-grown lads, +and men under the influence of drink. + +Such swaggerers may be met with in all parts of the world; but nowhere +in such numbers, as in California--which for a country so thinly +peopled, appears to be more than ordinarily afflicted with the +propensity for "bullyism." At least, it was so, at the period of which +I am writing. + +At that time, a man, who was known to have killed three or four of his +fellow-creatures, was looked upon with admiration by many, with fear by +as many more, and with abhorrence by a very few indeed. + +Quarrels in California, three times out of every four, terminated +fatally for one or other of the combatants; and the survivor of several +such sanguinary affairs was certain to obtain among his fellows a +reputation of some kind--whether of good or evil--and for this, +unhappily, the majority of mankind are but too eager to strive. + +Where society exists in a state of half civilisation--such as was that +of California fifteen years ago--it is not so strange that many should +be met, who prefer having the reputation of a bully to having no +reputation at all. + +It was the unfortunate fate of my old comrade, to encounter one of these +contemptible creatures--who combine the bully with the coward--in the +person of Red Ned. + +Stormy, after giving up the calling of the chase, had found himself once +more afloat, and in search of some business that would be more suited to +his tastes and abilities. While beating about, as already stated, he +had once more given way to his unfortunate propensity for strong drink; +and had got intoxicated both in his mind and his limbs. + +While in this state, he had involved himself in a coffee-house quarrel +with the man above mentioned; and who, no doubt, well understood the +helpless condition of his adversary: for it was Red Ned himself who +provoked the quarrel. + +When unmolested by others, I never knew a man of a more harmless, +inoffensive disposition than was the old sailor. + +Even when under the influence of liquor, he never, to my knowledge, +commenced a dispute; but when in that state, he was inclined to "teach +manners" to any one who might interfere with him. + +Red Ned had met Stormy in one of the gambling taverns, where the latter +was carrying on his carouse; and perceiving that the old sailor was +helplessly intoxicated, and moreover, that he was only a sailor--whom he +could affront, without offending any of the company present--his +bullying propensity would not permit him to let pass such a fine +opportunity of gaining the distinction he coveted. + +In Stormy's state of inebriety there was but little danger to be dreaded +from any personal conflict with him, for although he was still able to +keep his feet, his legs had reached a degree of drunkenness, that caused +him occasionally to reel and stagger over the floor of the bar-room. + +The ruffian, perfectly conscious of all this, made some slurring +remark--intended to reflect upon Stormy's condition, and loud enough for +the latter to hear it. + +As might have been expected, the old sailor did not take the slur in +good part; but in return poured forth his displeasure in his usual frank +and energetic manner. + +Stormy, when excited by drink, was somewhat extravagant in the use of +vituperative language; and there can be no doubt that the bully was +compelled to listen to some plain-speaking that he did not much relish. + +He submitted to the storm for a while; and then rushing upon Stormy, he +struck the old sailor a slap with his open hand. + +Stormy, of course, returned the blow with closed fists, and then +proceeded to defend himself, by throwing his body, as well as its +intoxicated legs would allow him, into a boxing attitude. + +But the bully had no intention to continue the fight in that cowardly +fashion--as he would have called it; and drawing his bowie-knife out of +his boot, he closed suddenly upon Stormy, and buried its blade in the +old sailors side. + +Of course this terminated the strife; and the wounded man was conveyed +to his lodgings. + +Volume Two, Chapter VI. + +RED NED. + +At the time that Stormy was teaching, or rather receiving, that terrible +lesson of manners, I was not in the village. I had gone some two or +three miles up the river, to look after my miners at their work. + +A messenger brought me the news; and, in breathless haste, I hurried +homewards. + +On arriving at the house where Stormy lived, I found him stretched upon +his bed--with a doctor bending over him. + +"Rowley, my boy, it's all over with me," said he. "The doctor says so; +and for the first time in my life I believe one." + +"Stormy! Stormy! my friend, what has happened?" I asked, as across my +soul swept a wave of anguish more painful than words can describe. + +"Never mind any explanation now," interrupted the doctor, turning to me, +and speaking in a low voice. "Do not excite your friend, by making him +converse. You can learn the particulars of his misfortune from some one +else." + +The doctor was in the act of leaving; and, interpreting a sign he gave +me, I followed him out. I was told by him, that Stormy had been +stabbed, and that his wound would prove mortal. The man of medicine +imparted some other details of the affair, which he had collected from +the spectators who had witnessed it. + +On parting from me, the surgeon gave me warning, that the wounded man +might live two days--certainly not longer. + +"He has received an injury," said he, "that must cause his death within +that time. You can do nothing, beyond keeping him as quiet as +possible." + +After pronouncing this melancholy prognosis, the surgeon took his +departure, with a promise to call again in the morning. + +I returned to the bedside of my doomed comrade. + +He would talk, in spite of all I could do, or say, to prevent him. + +"I _will_ talk," said he, "and there's no use in your trying to stop me. +I've not much longer to live; and why should I pretend to be dead, +before I really am?" + +I saw it was no use to attempt keeping him either quiet or silent. It +only excited him all the more; and would, perhaps, do more harm to him +than letting him have his way--which I at length did. He proceeded to +inform me of all the particulars of the affair. His account slightly +differed from that given me by the doctor, who had doubtless heard a +one-sided statement, from the friends of the bully. + +"I don't know whether I've been sarved right or not," said Stormy, after +concluding his account. "I sartinly called the man some ugly names; and +every one about here is likely to say that it was right for him to teach +me manners. But why did he stab me with a knife? My legs were +staggering drunk; and he might have thrashed me without that!" + +On hearing Stormy's statement, I became inspired with a feeling of fell +indignation against the scoundrel, who had acted in such a cowardly +manner: a determination, that my old comrade should be avenged. + +I knew it would be idle to go before a magistrate, for the purpose of +getting the bully punished, for the two men had come to blows, _before_ +the knife had been used. + +The affair would be looked upon as an affray--in which either, or both, +had the right to use whatever weapons they pleased--and Stormy would be +thought deserving of his fate, for not protecting himself in a more +efficient manner! + +I knew that he was drunk; and that even if sober he would not have used +a deadly weapon in a bar-room row; but although I knew this, others +would tell me, that my friend's being drunk was not the fault of the man +who had stabbed him; and that if he had not chosen to defend himself +according to custom, he must bear the consequences. + +Impelled by my excited feelings, I left Stormy in the care of a miner +who had come in to see him; and stepped over to the tavern, where the +horrible deed had taken place. + +About forty people were in the bar-room when I entered. Some were +seated around a table where "Monte" was being dealt, while others were +standing at the bar, noisily swilling their drinks. + +Without making remark to any one, I listened for a few minutes to the +conversation. As the affair had occurred only that afternoon, I knew +that they would be talking about it in the bar-room--as in reality they +were. Several men were speaking on the subject, though not disputing. +There was not much difference of opinion among them. They all seemed to +regard the occurrence, as I expected they would, in the same light. + +Two men had got into a quarrel, and then come to blows. One had stabbed +the other--in California an everyday occurrence of trifling interest. +That was all the bar-room loungers were disposed to make of it. + +I differed in opinion with them; and told them, in plain terms, that the +fight they were talking about had not been a fair one, that the man who +had stabbed the other had committed a crime but little less than murder. + +A dozen were anxious to argue with me. How could I expect a man to be +called hard names in a public room without his resenting it? + +"But why did the man use a knife?" I asked. "Could the insult not have +been resented without that?" + +I was told that men had no business to fight at all, if they could avoid +it; but when they did, each had a right to be in earnest, and do all the +harm he could to the other. + +I was also admonished that I had better not let "Red Ned" hear me talk +as I was doing, or I might probably get served as bad as the sailor, who +had offended him that same day. + +I thus learnt, for the first time, that the man who had wounded Stormy +was "Red Ned," and from what I had heard of this ruffian already, I was +not the less determined that Stormy should be avenged. + +I knew, moreover, that if "Red Ned" was to receive punishment, it would +have to be inflicted by myself. + +He was not in the tavern at the time; or, perhaps, he might have +received it on the instant. + +I returned to Stormy; and passed that night by his side. + +He was in great pain most part of the night. The distress of my mind at +the poor fellow's sufferings, determined me to seek "Red Ned" the next +morning; and, as Stormy would have said, "teach him manners." + +When the day broke, the wounded man was in less pain, and able to +converse--though not without some difficulty. + +"Rowley," said he, "we must attend to business, before it be too late. +I know I shan't live through another night, and must make up my +reckoning to-day. I've got about one hundred and eighty ounces; and +it's all yours, my boy. I don't know that I have a relation in the +world; and there is no one to whom I care to leave anything but +yourself. I can die happy now, because I know that the little I leave +will belong to you. Had this happened before our meeting in Sonora, my +greatest sorrow at going aloft would have been, to think some stranger +would spend what I have worked hard to make, while my little Rowley +might be rolling hungry round the world." + +At Stormy's request, the landlord of the lodging was called in; and +commanded to produce the bag of gold which the sailor had placed in his +keeping. + +At this the man, apparently an honest fellow, went out of the room; and +soon returned with the treasure, which, in the presence of the landlord +and a miner who had come in, its owner formally presented to me. It was +a bequest rather than a present--the act of a dying man. + +"Take it, Rowley," said he, "and put it with your own. It was got in an +honest manner, and let it be spent in a sensible one. Go to Liverpool, +marry the girl you told me of; and have a home and family in your old +age. I fancy, after all, that must be the way to be happy: for being +without home and friends I know isn't. Ah! it was that as made me live +the wretched roaming life, I've done." + +The exertion of talking had made Stormy worse. I saw that he began to +breathe with difficulty; and seemed to suffer a great deal of pain. So +great was his agony, that it was almost equal agony for me to stand by +his side; and I stole out, leaving him with the surgeon--who had +meanwhile arrived--and the miner before mentioned. + +I stole out _upon an errand_. + +Volume Two, Chapter VII. + +MY COMRADE AVENGED. + +Perhaps ere this my errand may have been conjectured. If not I shall +disclose it. I left the bedside of Stormy to seek Red Ned. + +I went direct to the tavern--knowing that the bully frequented the +place, and that if not there, some one could probably tell me where he +might be found. + +As I entered the bar-room, a tall, slender man, with red hair, was +talking, in a loud voice, to a knot of others collected in front of the +bar. + +"Let him dare tell me that it was murder," said the red-haired man, "and +I'll serve him in the same way I did the other. Murder indeed! Why, +there was a dozen men by, who can prove that I listened for ten minutes +to the man insulting and abusing me in the most beastly manner. Could +flesh and blood stand it any longer? What is a man worth who'll not +protect his character? Whoever says I acted unfair is a liar; and had +better keep his cheek to himself." + +As soon as I heard the speaker's voice, and had a fair look at him, I +recognised him as an old acquaintance. + +It was Edward Adkins, first mate and afterwards captain of the ship +"Lenore"--the man who had discharged me in New Orleans after the death +of Captain Hyland--the man who had accused me of ingratitude and theft! +Yes, it was Adkins, my old enemy. + +I knew that _he_ was a coward of the most contemptible kind, and a bully +as well. + +What I had witnessed of his conduct on the Lenore, during many years' +service with him, had fully convinced me of this. A thorough tyrant +over the crew, while cringing in the presence of Captain Hyland--who was +often compelled to restrain him, from practising his petty spite upon +those under his command. It did not need that last interview I had had +with him in Liverpool--in the house of Mrs Hyland--to strengthen my +belief that Edward Adkins was a despicable poltroon. + +In answer to the question he had put: "What's a man worth who'll not +protect his character?" I walked up to him and said:--"You have no +character to protect, and none to lose. You are a cowardly ruffian. +You purposely started a quarrel with an inoffensive man; and drew your +knife upon him when you knew he was helpless with drink." + +"Hell and damnation! Are you talking to me?" inquired Adkins, turning +sharply round, his face red with rage. + +But his features suddenly changed to an expression that told me he +wished himself anywhere else, than in the presence of the man to whom he +had addressed the profane speech. + +"Yes! I'm talking to you," said I, "and I wish all present to listen to +what I say. You are a cowardly wretch, and worse. You have taken the +life of a harmless, innocent man, unable to protect himself. You, to +talk of resenting an insult, and protecting your character--your +character indeed!" + +Had we two been alone, it is possible that Adkins would not have thought +himself called upon to reply to what I had said; but we were in the +presence of two score of men, in whose hearing he had just boasted--how +he would serve the man who had been slandering him. That man was +myself. + +"Now!" I cried impatient for action, "you hear what I've said! You +hear it, all of you?" + +The bully had been brought to bay. + +"Gentlemen!" said he, addressing the crowd who had gathered around, +"what am I to do? I was driven yesterday to an act I now regret; and +here is another man forcing me into a quarrel in the same way. Take my +advice," said he, turning to me, "and leave the house, before my blood +gets up." + +"There is not the least danger of your blood getting up," said I; "your +heart's gone down into your heels. If I was so drunk, as to be just +able to keep my legs, no doubt you would have the courage to attack me. +You haven't got it now." + +The greatest coward in the world can be driven to an exhibition of +courage--whether sham or real; and Adkins, seeing that he could no +longer in California lay claim to the title of a _dangerous man_, +without doing something to deserve it, cried out-- + +"Damnation! if you want it, you shall have it!" + +As the words passed from his lips, I saw him stoop suddenly--at the same +time jerking his foot upward from the floor. I divined his intention, +which was to draw his bowie out of his boot; and while his leg was still +raised, and before he could fairly lay hold of the knife, I dealt him a +blow that sent him sprawling upon the floor. The knife flew out of his +hand; and, before he could regain his feet, I stepped between him and +the place where it was lying. + +I have neglected to tell the reader, that I could no longer with +propriety be called "The _little_ Rolling Stone," though Stormy still +continued to address me occasionally by that appellation. At the time +of this--my last encounter with Adkins--I was six feet _without_ my +boots; and was strong and active in proportion. I have called it my +_last_ encounter with this ruffian--it was so. Before he was in a +position to attack me a second time, I drew my own knife from its +sheath; and threw it on the floor alongside his. I did this, to show +that I scorned to take any advantage of an unarmed man--as my cowardly +opponent had done with poor Stormy Jack. I did not at the moment think +of the wrongs Adkins had done to myself--of my imprisonment in a common +gaol--of the falsehoods he had told to Mrs Hyland--of his attempt to +win Lenore. I thought only of poor Stormy. + +Adkins again rushed on me; and was again knocked down. This time he +showed a disposition for remaining on the floor--in the hopes that some +of his friends might come between us, and declare the fight to be over; +but I kicked him, until he again got up, and once more closed with me. + +I met the third attack, by picking him up in my arms--until his heels +were high in the air, and then I allowed him to fall down again on the +crown of his head. He never rose after that fall--his neck was broken. + +Before I left the room, every man in it came up and shook hands with +me--as they did so, telling me that I had done a good thing. + +Volume Two, Chapter VIII. + +STORMY TRANQUIL AT LAST. + +When I returned to Stormy he was worse; and I saw that he had not much +longer to live. He was not in so much pain as when I left him; but it +was evident he was sinking rapidly. + +"Stormy," said I, "what would you wish me to do to the man, who has +brought you to this?" + +"Nothing," he answered; "he's a bad man--but let him go. Promise me +that you will not try to teach him manners--let the Lord do it for us." + +"All right, comrade," said I, "your wishes shall be obeyed: for I cannot +harm him now. He has gone." + +"I'm glad of that," said the dying man, "for it shows that he knew +himself to be in the wrong. By his running away, others will know it +too; and will not say that I desarved what I've got." + +"But he has _not_ run away," said I, "he is dead. I went to the house, +where you met him yesterday. I found him there. Before I came out, he +died." + +Stormy's expressive features were lit up with a peculiar smile. + +It was evident that he comprehended the full import of my ambiguous +speech, though he made no comment, further than what gave me to +understand, that his object, in making me promise not to harm Red Ned, +was only from fear that I might get the worst of it. I could tell, +however, by the expression upon his features, that he was rather pleased +I had not left to the Lord the work of teaching manners to his murderer. + +I remained by the bedside of my dying comrade--painfully awaiting the +departure of his spirit. My vigil was not a protracted one. He died +early in the afternoon of that same day, on which his murder had been +avenged. + +There was no inquest held, either upon his body, or that of his +assassin. Perhaps the latter might have been brought to trial, but for +the judgment that had already fallen upon him. This being deemed just +by all the respectable people in the place, there were no farther steps +taken in the matter, than that of burying the bodies of the two men--who +had thus fallen a sacrifice to the play of unfortunate passions. + +I have seen many gold-diggers undergo interment, by being simply rolled +up in their blankets, and thrust under ground without any ceremony +whatever, all this, too, only an hour or two after the breath had +departed from their bodies. Such, no doubt, would have been the manner +in which the body of Stormy Jack would have been disposed of, had there +not been by him in his last hour a friend, who had been acquainted with +him long, and respected him much. + +I could not permit his remains to be thus rudely interred. I had a good +coffin made to contain them; and gave the old sailor the most +respectable burial I had ever seen among the miners of California. + +Poor Stormy! Often, when thinking of him, I am reminded of how much the +destiny of an individual may be influenced by circumstances. + +Stormy Jack was naturally a man of powerful intellect. He possessed +generosity, courage, a love of justice, and truth--in short, all the +requisites that constitute a noble character. But his intellect had +remained wholly uncultivated; and circumstances had conducted him to a +calling, where his good qualities were but little required, and less +appreciated. Had he been brought up and educated to fill some higher +station in society, history might have carried his name--which to me was +unknown--far down into posterity. In the proportion that Nature had +been liberal to him, Fortune had been unkind; and he died, as he had +lived, only Stormy Jack--unknown to, and uncared for, by the world he +might have adorned. + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +After having performed the last sad obsequies over his body, I recalled +the advice he had given me, along with his gold, to return to Lenore. + +I resolved to follow a counsel so consonant with my own desires. I +found no difficulty in disposing of my mining shares; and this done, I +made arrangements for travelling by the stage conveyance then running +between Sonora and Stockton. + +Before leaving the Stanislaus, I paid a visit to the young couple, who +had been entrusted with the care of Leary's child. + +My object in going to see them was to learn, if possible, something more +of that gentleman's doings in Australia. + +It was true, they had said, that they were unacquainted with him there; +but there were several questions I wished to ask them--by which I hoped +to learn something concerning my mother, and whether she had followed +Leary to the colonies. + +I found the guardians of the child still living where I had seen them, +on the day the murderer was executed. The orphan was no longer in their +keeping. They had sent it to its grandparents in Sydney, in charge of a +merchant--who had left California for the Australian colonies some weeks +before. + +Though I obtained from the man and his wife all the information they +were capable of giving, I learnt but little of what I desired to know. +They thought it likely, that in San Francisco, I might hear more about +the subject of my enquiries. They knew a man named Wilson--who had come +from Sydney in the same ship with them; and who was now keeping a +public-house in San Francisco. Wilson, they believed, had been well +acquainted with Mathews--for this was the name which Leary had assumed +in the colonies. + +Such was the scant information I succeeded in obtaining from the friends +of the late Mrs Leary; and with only this to guide me, I commenced my +journey for the capital of California. + +Volume Two, Chapter IX. + +A ROUGH RIDE. + +The stage, by which I travelled from Sonora to Stockton, was nothing +more than a large open waggon, drawn by four Mexican horses. + +We started at six o'clock in the morning, on a journey of eighty-four +miles. This we should have to perform before four o'clock in the +afternoon of the same day--in order to catch the steamer, which, at that +hour, was to start from Stockton for San Francisco. + +Notwithstanding that the road over most of the route was in reality no +road at all, but an execrable path, we made the eighty-four miles within +the time prescribed: for the stage arrived at Stockton more than twenty +minutes before the time appointed for the sailing of the steamer! + +In spite of this rapidity of transit, I did not at all enjoy the journey +between Sonora and Stockton. I was all the time under an impression +that my life was in imminent danger; and, as I was at last on my way to +Lenore, I did not wish to be killed by the overturning of a Californian +stage coach--behind four half-wild horses, going at the top of their +speed. + +Sometimes we would be rushing down a steep hill, when, to keep the +horses out of the way of the waggon they were drawing, the driver would +stand up on his box, and fling the "silk" at them with all the energy he +could command. On such occasions there would be moments when not a +wheel could be seen touching the ground; and not unfrequently the +vehicle would bound through the air, to a distance equalling its own +length! + +We were fortunate enough to reach Stockton, without breaking either the +wheels of the waggon, or the bones of any of the passengers, which to me +at the time seemed something miraculous. + +I do not relish describing scenes of a sanguinary character; but, to +give the reader some idea of the state of society in California, at the +time I write of, I shall mention a circumstance that transpired during +my twenty minutes' sojourn in Stockton--while waiting for the starting +of the steamer. + +Just as we were getting out of the stage waggon, several pistol-shots +were heard, close to the spot where we had stopped. They had been fired +inside the gambling room of a public-house, on the opposite side of the +street; and several men were seen rushing out of the house, apparently +to escape the chances of being hit by a stray bullet. + +As soon as the firing had ceased, the retreating tide turned back again; +and re-entered the house--along with a crowd of others, who had been +idling outside. + +I walked over; and went in with the rest. On entering the large saloon, +in which the shots had been fired, I saw two men lying stretched upon +separate tables--each attended by a surgeon, who was examining his +wounds. + +I could see that both were badly--in fact mortally--wounded; and yet +each was cursing the other with the most horrible imprecations I had +ever heard! + +One of the surgeons, addressing himself to the man upon whom he was +attending, said:-- + +"Do not talk in that profane manner. You had better turn your thoughts +to something else: you have not many hours to live." + +Neither this rebuke, nor the unpleasant information conveyed by it, +seemed to produce the slightest effect on the wretch to whom it was +addressed. Instead of becoming silent, he poured forth a fresh storm of +blasphemy; and continued cursing all the time I remained within hearing. + +I was told that the two men had quarrelled about a horse, that one of +them first fired at the other, who fell instantly to the shot; and that +the latter, while lying on the floor, had returned the fire of the +assailant, sending three bullets into his body. + +I heard afterwards that the shots had proved fatal to both. The man who +had fired the first shot died that same night--the other surviving the +sanguinary encounter only a few hours longer. + +I had no desire to linger among the spectators of that tragical tableau; +and I was but too glad to find a cue for escaping from it: in the +tolling of the steam-boat bell, as it summoned the passengers aboard. + +A few minutes after, and we were gliding down the San Joaquin--_en +route_ for the Golden City. + +The San Joaquin is emphatically a crooked river. It appeared to me that +in going down it, we passed Mount Diablo at least seven times. Vessels, +that we had already met, could be soon after seen directly ahead of us, +while those appearing astern would in a few minutes after, encounter us +in the channel of the stream! + +A "Down-easter," who chanced to be aboard, made the characteristic +observation:--that "the river was so crooked, a bird could not fly +across it: as it would be certain to alight on the side from which it +had started!" + +Crooked as was the San Joaquin it conducted us to the capital of +California--which we reached at a late hour of the night. + +So impatient was I to obtain the information, which had brought me to +San Francisco, that on the instant of my arrival I went in search of the +tavern, kept by Mr Wilson. + +I succeeded in finding it, though not without some difficulty. It was a +dirty house in a dirty street--the resort of all the worthless +characters that could have been collected from the low neighbourhood +around it, chiefly runaway convicts, and gay women, from Sydney. It was +just such a hostelrie, as I might have expected to be managed by a +quondam companion of Mr Leary. + +Mr Wilson was at "home," I was at once ushered into his presence; and, +after a very informal introduction, I commenced making him acquainted +with my business. + +I asked him, if, while at Sydney, he had the pleasure of being +acquainted with a man named Mathews. + +"Mathews! Let me see!" said he, scratching his head, and pretending to +be buried in a profound reflection; "I've certainly heard that name, +somewhere," he continued, "and, perhaps, if you were to tell me what you +want, I might be able to remember all about it." + +I could perceive that my only chance of learning anything from Mr +Wilson was to accede to his proposal, which I did. I told him, that a +man named Mathews had been hung a few weeks before on the Stanislaus, +that it was for the murder of a young girl, with whom he had eloped from +Australia; and that I had reason to believe, that the man had left a +wife behind him in Sydney. I had heard that he, Mr Wilson, had known +Mathews; and could perhaps tell me, if such had been the case. + +"If it was the Mathews I once knew something about," said the +tavern-keeper, after listening to my explanation, "he could not have +left any money, or property, behind him: he hadn't a red cent to leave." + +"I didn't say that he had," I answered. "It is not for that I make the +inquiry." + +"No!" said the tavern-keeper, feigning surprise. "Then what can be your +object, in wanting to know whether he left a wife in Sydney?" + +"Because that wife, if there be one, is my mother." + +This answer was satisfactory; and Mr Wilson, after healing it, became +communicative. + +He had no objections to acknowledge acquaintance with a man who had been +hung--after my having admitted that man's wife to be my mother; and, +freely confessed, without any further circumlocution, that he had been +intimate with a man named Mathews, who had eloped from Sydney with a +shopkeeper's daughter. He supposed it must be the same, that I claimed +as my stepfather. + +Wilson's Mathews had arrived in Sydney several years before. About a +year after his arrival he was followed by his wife from Dublin--with +whom he had lived for a few weeks, and then deserted her. + +Wilson had seen this woman; and from the description he gave me of her, +I had no doubt that she was my mother. + +The tavern-keeper had never heard of her, after she had been deserted by +Mathews, nor could he answer any question: as to whether she had brought +my children to the colony. He had never heard of her children. + +This was the sum and substance of the information I obtained from Mr +Wilson. + +My mother, then, had actually emigrated to Australia; and there, to her +misfortune, no doubt, had once more discovered the ruffian who had +ruined her. + +Where was she now? Where were her children? My brother William, and my +little sister Martha, of whom I was once so fond and proud? + +"I must visit Australia," thought I, "before going back to England. +Until I have recovered my relatives I am not worthy to stand in the +presence of Lenore!" + +Volume Two, Chapter X. + +THE PARTNER OF THE IMPATIENT MAN. + +As my return to Liverpool and Lenore was now indefinitely postponed, I +was in less haste to leave San Francisco. I wished to see something of +this singular city, which had grown up, as it were, in a single day. + +The citizens of the Californian capital--composed of the young and +enterprising of all nations--were at that time, perhaps, the fastest +people on record; and more of real and active life was to be seen in the +streets of San Francisco in a single week, than in any other city in a +month--or, perhaps, in a year. + +The quick transformation of the place--from a quiet little seaport to a +large commercial city--astonished, even those who had witnessed its +growth, and played a part in the history of its development. + +Half of the present city is built upon ground, which was once a portion +of the bay, and under the water of the sea. Boats used to ply where +splendid buildings now stand--in the very centre of the town! + +On my visit to San Francisco on this occasion, I saw fine substantial +houses, where, only one year before, wild bushes were growing--on the +branches of which the bachelors of the place used to dry their shirts! +Mountains had been removed--carried clear into the bay--and hundreds of +acres had been reclaimed from the encroachments of the sea. + +Twice, too--within a period of only two years--the city had been burned +down, and rebuilt; and for all this work that had been done, prices had +been paid, that would seem extravagant beyond belief--at least, when +compared with the small wages of labour, in any other country than +California. + +The amusements, manners, and customs, of almost every nation upon earth, +could, at this time, have been witnessed in San Francisco. There was a +Spanish theatre patronised by Chilians, Peruvians, and Mexicans. For +the amusement of these people there was also a "Plaza de Toros," or +amphitheatre for their favourite pastime--the bull fight. + +In visiting these places of amusement--or the French and Italian opera +houses--or some of the saloons where Germans met to continue the customs +of their "Faderland"--one could scarce have supposed himself within the +limits of a country, whose citizens were expected to speak English. + +I paid a visit to all the afore-mentioned spectacles, and many others-- +not wholly for the sake of amusement; but to learn something of the +varied phases of life there presented to observation. I could have +fancied, that, in one evening, I had been in Spain, France, Italy, +Germany, China, and over all parts of both North and South America! + +For several days I wandered about the streets of San Francisco, without +meeting a single individual I had ever seen before. + +I was beginning to feel as if I knew no one in the world, when one +afternoon I was accosted by a person bearing a familiar face. + +It was Farrell, whom I had known at the diggings of the Stanislaus--the +partner of the impatient man, who used to worry the postmaster of +Sonora; and who had gone home in such haste, after learning of the death +of his wife. + +"Come along with me," cried Farrell, "I have got a queer story to tell +you." + +I accompanied him to the "Barnum House," where he was staying; and we +sat down to have a talk and a drink. + +"You were quite right about that fellow Foster," said he, as soon as we +had got settled in our chairs; "a more treacherous deceitful villain +never trod Californian turf--nor any other, for that matter." + +"You are a little mistaken." I replied, "I never accused him of being +either treacherous, or deceitful." + +"Do you not remember our having a talk about him, the evening before he +started home; and my telling you, that he was an honest, plain-speaking +fellow?" + +"Yes; and I remember telling you, that if your statement, of the reason +of his anxiety to get his letters, was true, he could not be so very +deceitful, or he would have had the decency to have concealed the cause +of that anxiety even from you." + +"I have never been more deceived in my life, than I was in that man," +continued Farrell. "Do you know why he was so desirous to hear of his +wife's death?" + +"You said something about another woman." + +"I did. Who do you suppose that other woman was?" + +"I haven't the slightest idea." + +"I'll tell you then. _It was my wife_! He wanted his own wife to die, +so that he could go home and elope with mine. It's a fact--_and he's +done it too_. That's who the second epistle he used to get, was from. +I have just got a letter from my brother, giving me the whole news. +It's interesting, isn't it?" + +"Yes; what are you going to do?" + +"Find them, and kill them both!" said Farrell, hissing the words through +his teeth. + +"I should not do that. A man is fortunate in getting rid of a wife, who +would treat him after that fashion. Your thanks are rather due to your +fair-dealing friend, for relieving you of any further trouble with such +a woman." + +"There's some truth in what you say," rejoined Farrell. "But I don't +like being humbugged. He was such a plain-speaking fellow, I wonder why +he didn't tell me what he was intending to do, and who was writing to +him all the time. In that case, perhaps, I should have made no +objection to his running away with her. But there _is_ one thing, I +should have decidedly objected to." + +"What is that?" + +"Furnishing the money to pay their travelling expenses--as well as to +keep them comfortably wherever they have gone." + +"Did you do that?" + +"I did. When Foster left the Stanislaus to go home, I entrusted all my +gold to him--to take home to my precious wife. For all his frank open +ways, and plain-speaking, he did not tell me that he intended to assist +my wife in spending it; and that's what gives me the greatest chagrin. +I've been regularly sold. Over every dollar of that money--as they are +eating or drinking it--will they be laughing at the fool who worked so +damned hard to make it. Now I don't like that; and I should like to +know who would. Would you?" + +"Not exactly. But where do you expect to find them?" + +"In this city--San Francisco." + +"What! They surely would not be such simpletons as to come out to +California, and you here?" + +"That's just what they'll do," replied Farrell. "They'll think their +best plan to keep clear of me, will be to leave the States, and get out +here, by the time I would be likely to reach home. They will expect me +to start from this place, the moment I hear the news of their elopement; +and that by coming here, they will be safe not to see me again--thinking +I would never return to California. For that reason I don't intend +going home at all; but shall stay here till they arrive." + +After spending the evening in his company, I admonished the injured +husband--in the event of his meeting with his false partner and friend-- +to do nothing he might afterwards regret. + +Farrell and I then parted; and I saw no more of him before leaving San +Francisco. + +I sojourned another week in the capital of California; and, having +learned enough of its mysteries and miseries, I began to make +preparation for my voyage across the Pacific. + +An eminent banking firm in London had established an agency in San +Francisco; and by it I forwarded to England all the gold I had +collected--excepting a few ounces retained for my travelling expenses to +Australia. + +I found no difficulty in obtaining a passage from San Francisco to the +latter place. Gold-diggings had been recently discovered in New South +Wales--in Port Philip, as Victoria was then called; and as many people +from the colonies wished to return, for their accommodation, numbers of +large ships were being "laid on" for Sydney and Melbourne. + +There is no class of passenger so profitable as the gold-digger _going +away from a diggings_; and this being a fact, well-known among the +captains and owners of ships, there was no scarcity in the supply of +vessels then fitting out in the harbours of California. + +Volume Two, Chapter XI. + +A DIFFERENCE AMONG DIGGERS. + +I engaged passage in the Dutch brig "Ceres," bound for Sydney; and +sailed in the early part of June out of San Francisco Bay. + +When I again embark as a passenger in a Dutch vessel, it will be after I +have learnt to speak that detestable lingo. Of all the crew of the +"Ceres," only the first officer could speak a word of English; and, +during the time I was aboard the brig, I discovered more than one good +reason for my resolve never again to embark in a ship, where I could not +understand the language by which she was worked. + +A majority of the passengers had originally come from the Australian +Colonies to California; and were now returning to their homes-- +dissatisfied with a country, where they were not regarded as good +citizens. + +The worst characters amongst them had conceived a strong antipathy for +everything American. + +This will be easily understood, by taking into consideration the fact, +that many of the people from the Australian Colonies who went to +California, were men of infamous character. Indeed it is rather to the +credit of the Californians: that they had treated with some severity +these English convicts, who had made their appearance amongst them, for +the express purpose of thieving and robbing. + +I do not wish to be understood as saying, that all the gold seekers from +Australia were of this character. I formed the acquaintance of many +Anglo-Australian diggers, who had won the respect of all who knew them. + +Too many of the class, however, were undoubtedly bad men. They had been +bad men in their mother country, were bad men in the colonies, bad in +California; and will continue to be bad wherever they go. They justly +merited the contempt, which the Americans had bestowed upon them. + +I have more respect for the great nation to which I belong than to +defend the conduct of its convicts, against the opinions formed of them +by the people of California. + +There were three or four Californians amongst the passengers of the +"Ceres," who appeared to be respectable, as they were well conducted +young men, yet they were intensely hated by a majority of the +passengers--merely because they were Americans, and not English convicts +from the colonies. + +The Australians, while in California, when not drunk, generally behaved +themselves like other people. This, however, arose from the absolute +compulsion of circumstances, and the dread of being punished for their +misdeeds; but no sooner had we got clear of the Golden Gate, than they +resumed their former vulgar habits of acting and speaking; and not a +sentence could be uttered by one of them, without reference to the +circulating fluid of the body. + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +Early in the month of August, we came in sight of one of the numerous +groups of islands with which the Pacific ocean is enamelled. + +About twelve o'clock at night--while going at a speed of not more than +five knots an hour--we ran straight upon a reef of rocks. + +A scene of wild confusion then ensued--every one expecting the brig to +go immediately to the bottom--but it was soon ascertained, that she was +hanging or resting on a point of the rocks, which had penetrated her +timbers; and that she was in no immediate danger of sinking. +Fortunately the weather was calm at the time, and the sea perfectly +tranquil, else the brig would certainly have been knocked to pieces. + +As usual, the long boat was found to be _not_ sea-worthy; and there was +but one other, a small pinnace, that would hold about twelve of the +seventy-six passengers comprising the cargo of the "Ceres"--to say +nothing of her crew! + +We could see land, about a mile from our position; and it was evident, +that no watch could have been kept aboard; else the brig could not have +been lost. + +As soon as order had been somewhat restored, and our exact situation +ascertained, the crew, assisted by the passengers, commenced building a +raft, upon which, when finished, we were to attempt making a passage to +the shore. + +At daybreak we obtained a better view of the land--indistinctly seen +during the darkness. It was a small island--apparently about three +miles in circumference--with groves of palm trees standing thickly over +it. + +The raft having been at length got ready, the work of landing commenced. + +By nine o'clock all hands were ashore; and then some efforts were made +towards transporting to the beach such provisions as could be saved from +the wreck of the brig. + +The men, who first volunteered their services for this duty, were some +of the most disreputable of the passengers. + +Their object in returning to the brig was simply to plunder. The boxes +belonging to their fellow-passengers were broken open by these +scoundrels, who appropriated to themselves every article of value they +could conceal about their persons. + +When the work of saving the provisions really commenced, it was found +that there was but little to be saved. All the bread, and most of the +other stores, had got soaked in the sea-water, and consequently spoilt. +A barrel of beef, and another of pork, were all the stores that could be +procured in a fit condition for food. + +Before we had been ashore over an hour, we became acquainted with the +unpleasant circumstance that no fresh water was to be found upon the +island. + +This intelligence produced great consternation; and the wreck was +revisited--for the purpose of ascertaining if any could be procured +there. But very little water fit for drinking could be had on board the +brig--most of her supply being down in the hold, and of course submerged +entirely out of reach. + +Some mining tools and American axes had constituted a portion of the +cargo. Some of these were now brought ashore, and put into requisition +in the search for water. + +With the picks and shovels we scooped out a deep hole in the centre of +the island, which, to the delight of all, soon became filled with the +wished-for fluid. + +Our joy was of short continuance. We tasted the water. It was briny as +the billows of the ocean. It was the sea-water itself--that went and +came with the tides. + +Next morning, the captain and six men were despatched in the pinnace--in +the hope of then finding some ship to take us off, or reaching some +inhabited island--where they might obtain the means of assisting us. + +They took with them nearly all the water that remained--leaving over +seventy people to depend on the milk of cocoa-nuts as a substitute. + +To go out to sea in an open boat, with but a short allowance of water, +and some salt beef, was not a very pleasant undertaking; but the captain +and his crew seemed highly elated at even this opportunity of getting +away from the island. They preferred their chances to ours. + +Although the island was small, there was a sufficient quantity of fruit +growing upon it to have supported us for many weeks. The chief trouble +to be apprehended, was from the lawless wretches who comprised a large +minority of the passengers. + +After the shipwreck, these men became possessed with the idea: that they +were no longer to be under any restraint. The only law they appeared +disposed to regard was, that of might; and there was a sufficient number +of them to give trouble should they combine in any evil design. + +The old convicts, of course, felt sympathy for, and aided one another, +while those of the passengers that were honestly inclined, gave +themselves too little concern, on the score of combination. + +The consequences were, that matters soon proceeded to a state of +dangerous insubordination; and each hour it was becoming more evident, +that those who wished to live without molesting others, or being +molested themselves, must enter into a league against the scoundrels, +who would otherwise devote the whole community to destruction. + +Volume Two, Chapter XII. + +GOVERNMENT AGREED UPON. + +The more respectable of the castaways were now convinced that some form +of government was necessary; and that it should be a strong one. Some +who had been willing to acknowledge the authority of the officers of the +brig while aboard their craft, would now no longer concede it to them; +and yet authority of some kind was essential to our salvation. + +We had much to do. The boat had gone away in search of assistance. It +might be lost; and the captain and crew along with it. Even if they +should succeed in reaching some inhabited land, they might never return +to us? There was no wisdom in trusting to that source for relief. We +must do something for ourselves. + +A new vessel might be built from the materials of the wreck; but to +accomplish this we should have to adopt some form of government, and +submit to its authority. + +There was another and still stronger reason why some ruling power should +be established. The cocoa-nuts grew at a height rather inconvenient for +a hungry or thirsty man to reach them; and a readier and simpler way of +obtaining them was by felling the trees. As we were well supplied with +axes brought from the wreck, those so inclined were able to effect this +object; and, before we had been three days ashore, many of the trees +were thus ruthlessly levelled to the ground. + +Considering, that we might have to reside on the island for weeks, or +even months, and that our only substitute for water was the milk to be +obtained from these cocoa-nuts, it was evident that the trees should not +be destroyed. + +A meeting of all hands was at length got together; and a committee of +five appointed, to form some regulations by which we should all agree to +be governed. + +Next day, something in the shape of order was inaugurated. We were +divided into three parties--to each of which special duties were +assigned. One party was entrusted with the business of carpentering. +They were to take the wreck to pieces, and construct out of the +fragments a new vessel. This party comprised half of the able-bodied +men on the island; and was placed under the control of the first officer +of the brig--with the carpenter to instruct them in their new duties. + +Another party was appointed to act as fishermen--which calling also +included the gathering of such shell-fish as could be found along the +shore. + +The third party--principally composed of the invalids--were to act as +cooks, and fill other light offices, while a few young men who were +expert in climbing the cocoa-nut trees, were specially appointed for +procuring the nuts. + +A chief statute of our improvised code was: that any one who should cut +down, or in any way injure, a cocoa-nut tree, so as to cause its +destruction, was, on conviction of the offence, to be shot! + +The punishment may appear out of proportion to the offence; but when it +is considered that our very existence might depend on the preservation +of these precious trees, it will be seen at once, that the crime was of +no light character. + +A majority of those who voted for this resolution were in earnest; and I +am positive that, any one acting in opposition to it, would have +suffered the punishment of death. + +Some of the old convicts were much opposed to the arrangements thus +made; but they were compelled to submit, and act in accordance with +them. + +These men were masters of the island when we first landed; and seemed to +think, they had the right to help themselves to whatever they wished, +without regard to the general good. + +Two of these "Sydney birds," who chanced to be a shade worse than their +fellows--were specially informed, that if they should be caught +violating the rules we had established, no mercy would be shown them. + +A man of some influence amongst the more respectable of the passengers, +had detected one of these worthies in possession of some articles that +had been taken out of his chest on board the brig. He not only +compelled a quick surrender of the misappropriated chattel, but promised +for the future to watch for an opportunity of sending the thief where he +would be in no danger of repeating the theft. Several others threw out +hints to the two men to behave themselves--telling them that their only +chance of life would be to act honestly, otherwise they would certainly +meet with immediate chastisement. Such hints were effectual; and for a +time the peace of the community remained undisturbed. + +Three weeks passed--during which the work of ship-building progressed, +as well as could be expected. The wreck had been taken to pieces, and +floated ashore; and from the materials a tolerable commencement had been +made in the construction of a new craft. + +At this time serious fears began to be entertained, that many of us must +die for the want of water. The cocoa-nuts were each day becoming +scarcer; the trees did not grow them as fast as they were consumed; and +a close watch was kept on the actions of every one in the community--in +order that no one should have more than his share. + +This duty was very harassing: as it had to be performed by the honest +and respectable men, who were far from being the majority among us. + +To our great relief, we were one night favoured by a fall of rain. + +It rained but very little--a mere shower--and we had a good deal of +trouble in collecting it. All the shirts on the island, clean or dirty, +as they chanced to be, were spread out upon the grass; and, when +saturated with the rain, were wrung into vessels. + +Every exertion was made to save as much water as possible; and not +without some success: for a sufficient quantity was collected to place +us beyond the fear of want for several days longer. + +Some of the men began to suffer severely from the want of tobacco. Only +those, who had originally acted in the salvage of the wreck, were in +possession of this precious commodity--having freely helped themselves +while in the performance of that duty. Some of them did not refuse to +sell a portion of their stock; and small plugs of tobacco, weighing +about a quarter of a pound, readily found purchasers at ten dollars the +plug! + +One man, on paying his "eagle" for a pair of these plugs, was heard to +remark: "Well! this is the second time I've bought this tobacco, though +the price has been awfully raised since my first purchase. I know these +plugs well. They've been taken out of my own chest!" + +The person from whom the tobacco was purchased seemed highly amused, and +not a little flattered. He was proud to think the purchaser did not +take him for a fool! + +It gradually became the conviction of all: that we should have to depend +on our own vessel for getting away from the island. It was not a very +agreeable prospect: since we knew that we should have to put to sea, +with but little food and less water. Even from the first, it had seemed +exceedingly doubtful that the captain would ever return. + +Some were of the opinion that he could not, even if inclined; that he +knew not the position of the island, on which we had been cast away; +and, consequently, could give no instructions about finding it--even +should he be so fortunate as to fall in with a ship. + +There were many probabilities in favour of this belief; and those who +entertained it did not fail to bring them forward. + +"If he knew where the island lay," argued they, "why was the brig run +ashore upon it on a calm, clear night?" + +Certainly this question suggested a very discouraging answer. + +At the end of the fifth week, our new vessel was nearly completed; and +we set industriously to the collecting of shell-fish, cocoa-nuts, and +other articles of food, to serve as stores for our intended voyage. + +The craft we had constructed was not a very beautiful creature to look +at; but I have no doubt it would have answered the purpose for which we +had designed it. + +By good fortune, we were never called upon to make trial of its sailing +qualities. Just as we were about to launch it, a ship was seen bearing +down for the island! + +Before her anchor was dropped, a boat was seen shoving off for the +shore; and, soon after, we had the pleasure of looking once more on the +cheerful, honest countenance of the old Dutch skipper. + +He had not deserted us in our distress, as some had conjectured: and he +_did_ know the situation of the island, as was proved by his bringing +the ship back to it. + +At the time of his departure, he had not a friend amongst the passengers +of the "Ceres." There was not one on that occasion to speak a word in +his favour. But now, as soon as he set foot on the island, he was +hailed with three hearty cheers, and there was a struggle among the +crowd who surrounded him: as to who should be the first to show their +gratitude by a grasp of the hand! + +Volume Two, Chapter XIII. + +A HUNGRY PASSAGE. + +The ship thus brought to our rescue was a New England whaler, that had +been cruising about in pursuit of the sperm whale. The captain asked +six hundred dollars for taking our whole community to New Zealand. + +The demand was by no means extortionate. Indeed, it was a moderate +sum--considering the trouble and expense he would have to incur: since +he had already lost a good deal of time on his way to the island. + +The voyage to New Zealand might occupy several weeks--during which time +we would be consuming no small quantity of his stores. + +But although this price was not too much for the Yankee skipper to ask, +it was more than the Dutch skipper was able to pay: since the latter had +not got the money. + +The passengers were called upon to subscribe the amount. Most of them +objected. They had paid a passage once, they said, and would not pay it +over again. + +To this the captain of the whaler made a very reasonable rejoinder. If +there were just grounds for believing that the money could not be +obtained, he would have to take us without it: for he could never leave +so many men on so small an island, where they might perish for want of +food and water. But as we did not claim to be out of funds, the fault +would be our own if he departed without us, which he would certainly do, +unless the passage-money was paid. He also gave us warning, that we +might expect to put up with many inconveniences upon his ship. She was +not a passenger-vessel, nor was he supplied with provisions for so many +people. + +It was clear that the six hundred dollars must be raised some way or +other; and a movement was immediately set on foot to collect it. + +Many of the passengers declared that they had no money. Some of them +spoke the truth; but the difficulty was to learn who did, and who did +not. + +Amongst others, who solemnly declared that they had no money, was a +ruffian, who had been selling tobacco at the rate of forty dollars per +pound. This fact was communicated by the individual, who had +repurchased, and paid so dearly, for his own weed. + +The fellow was now emphatically informed, that unless he paid his share +of the passage-money, he would be left behind upon the island. + +This threat had the desired effect. He succeeded in finding the +required cash; and after much wrangling, the sum of six hundred dollars +was at length made up. + +Next day we were taken aboard the whaler; and sailed away from the +island in a direct course for the port of Auckland. + +I never made a more disagreeable voyage than on board that whaler. +There were several reasons that rendered the passage unpleasant. One +was, that all on board were in an ill-conditioned frame of mind; and, +consequently, had no relish for being either civil or sociable. The +diggers had been detained several weeks--on their way to a land they +were anxious to reach in the shortest possible time--and they now were +to be landed at Auckland instead of Sydney. Another voyage would have +to be made, before they could arrive at the gold fields of Australia--of +which they had been hearing such attractive tales. + +We were not even favoured with a fair breeze. On the contrary, the wind +blew most of the way against us; and the ship had to make about three +hundred miles, while carrying us only fifty in the right direction. + +The whaler, moreover, was an old tub--good enough for her proper +purpose, but ill adapted for carrying impatient passengers on their way +to a new gold field. + +She was kept as much into the wind as possible; but withal made so much +lee-way, that her course was side-ways--in the same manner as a pig +would go into a battle. + +There were no accommodations either for sleeping, or eating the little +food we were allowed; and we were compelled to rough it in the most +literal sense of the phrase. + +By the time we should have reached Auckland, we were not half the +distance; and both the provisions and water of the ship were well nigh +consumed. + +Between seventy and eighty hungry and thirsty men--added to the original +crew of the whaler--had made a greater destruction of his ship's stores +than the captain had calculated upon; and the third week, after leaving +the island, we were put on an allowance of one quart of water per diem +to each individual. Meat was no longer served out to us; and simple, +though not very sweet, biscuits became our food. We were also allowed +rice; but this, without garnishing, was still more insipid than the +biscuits. + +We thought it hard fare, and complained accordingly, although we had but +little reason for doing so. We could only blame our fate, or our +fortune; and so the captain of the whaler was accustomed to tell us. + +"I warned you," he would say, "that you might expect to have a hard time +of it. I'm sure I did not advertise for you to take passage in my +vessel, and you have no reason to complain. I do the best for you I +can. You are growling about having to eat rice. Millions of people +live on it for years, while working hard. You have only to live on it +for a few days, and do nothing. I hope, for both our sakes, it won't +last long." + +It was just, because they were _doing nothing_ that the grumblers were +so loud in their complaints. + +In justice to many of the passengers, I should state, that those who +complained the most were the very men who had paid nothing towards +remunerating the captain for his services. They were some of the worst +characters aboard; and, without making any allowance for the +circumstances under which we were placed, found fault with everything on +the whaler. I believe, they did so for the simple reason that she was +an American ship. + +Luckily we reached Auckland at last, though not a day too soon: for by +the time we sighted land the patience of the passengers with each other, +and their temper towards the captain, were well nigh exhausted. Had we +remained at sea a few hours longer, some strange scenes would have taken +place on the whaler, which all aboard of her would not have survived to +describe. + +No doubt the Yankee captain saw us go over the side of his ship with +much heart-felt satisfaction, though certainly this feeling was not all +to himself. His late passengers, one and all, equally participated in +it. + +I saw but very little of Auckland, or rather of the country around it; +but, from that little, I formed a very favourable opinion of its natural +resources and abilities; and I believe that colony to be a good home for +English emigrants. + +Being myself a Rolling Stone, I did not regard it with the eyes of a +settler; and therefore I might be doing injustice either to the colony +itself, or to intending emigrants, by saying much about it. + +Guided by recent experiences, there is one thing I can allege in favour +of New Zealand as a colony, which, in my opinion, makes it superior to +any other; that is, that a home can be there had _farther away from +London_, than in any other colonial settlement with which I am +acquainted. + +From Auckland to reach any part of Australia required a further outlay +of six pounds sterling. + +The gold-diggers thought this rather hard--alleging that they had +already paid their passage twice; but they were forced to submit to +circumstances. + +For myself, after remaining in Auckland a few days, I obtained a passage +in a small vessel sailing for Sydney, which port we reached, after a +short and pleasant run of nine days' duration. + +I had been exactly five months in getting from San Francisco to Sydney-- +a voyage that, under ordinary circumstances, might have been made in +fifty days! + +Volume Two, Chapter XIV. + +THE GUARDIANS OF THE ORPHAN. + +I had at length reached the place where, in all probability, I should +find my long-lost mother. + +A few days might find me happy, with my relatives restored to me, and +all of us on our way to Liverpool--where I should see Lenore! + +I felt a very singular sort of pleasure, in the anticipation of an +interview with my mother and sister. They would not know me: for I was +but a boy, when I parted from them in Dublin. They would scarce believe +that the fair-skinned, curly-haired, little "Rolling Stone," could have +become changed to a large bearded man--with a brow tanned by the South +Sea gales, and the hot tropical beams of a Californian sun. + +Before leaving San Francisco I had obtained the address of the +grandparents of Mr Leary's child; and also of several other people in +Sydney--who would be likely to have known something of Leary himself +residing there. + +From some of these persons I hoped to obtain information, that would +guide me in the search after my relatives. + +Mr Davis--the father of the unfortunate girl who had eloped with +Leary--was a respectable shopkeeper in the grocery line. + +As there could be no great difficulty in finding his shop, I resolved to +make my first call upon the grocer. + +Notwithstanding my hatred to Leary, I felt some interest in the child he +had helped to make an orphan. I wished to ascertain, whether it had +been safely delivered into the charge of its grandparents--as also the +gold, which the Californian miners had so liberally contributed towards +its support. + +The next day after landing in Sydney, I made my call upon Mr Davis. + +I found his shop without any difficulty; and in it himself--an +honest-looking man, apparently about fifty years of age. + +His business appeared to be in a flourishing condition: for the +establishment was a large one, and to all appearance well-stocked with +the articles required in a retail grocery. + +There were two young men behind the counter, besides Mr Davis himself, +who, as I entered, was in the act of serving a customer. + +On the old gentleman being told, that if he was not too much engaged, I +should like a few minutes' conversation with him, he handed the customer +over to one of his assistants; and conducted me into a sitting-room that +adjoined the shop. + +After complying with his request to be seated, I told him, I had lately +arrived from California, where I had heard of him, and that I had now +called to see him, on a business to me of some importance. I added, +that the communication I had to make might awaken some unpleasant +thoughts; but that I deemed it better to make it, rather than run the +risk of incurring his displeasure, by not communicating with him at all. + +Mr Davis then civilly demanded to know the nature of my business, +though from his tone I could tell, that he already half comprehended it. + +"If I am not mistaken," said I, "you have a child here, that has been +sent you from California?" + +"Yes," answered he, "one was brought to me from there, about four months +ago. I was told that it was my grandchild; and I received it as such." + +"And have you also received a sum of money, that was to have been +intrusted to your care, for its benefit?" I asked. + +"I have; and that was some proof to me that the child was really my +grandchild." + +To this sage observation of the grocer, I replied, by making to him a +full disclosure of my object in visiting Sydney; and that I had called +on himself to learn, if possible, something concerning my own mother. + +"You could not have come to a better place to obtain that information," +said he; "a woman calling herself Mrs Leary, and claiming to be the +wife of the man who had been known here by the name of Mathews, calls +here almost every day. If she be your mother, you will have no +difficulty in finding her: she is a dress-maker, and my wife can tell +you where she resides." + +My task had proved much easier than I had any reason to expect; and I +was now only impatient to obtain the address; and hasten to embrace my +long-lost mother. + +"Do not be too fast," said the cautious Mr Davis. "Wait until you have +learnt something more. Let me ask you two or three questions. Do you +know how the man Mathews died?" + +"Yes: I saw him die." + +"Then you know for what reason he was put to death?" + +"I do," was my answer. "And you--?" + +"I too--alas! too certainly," rejoined Mr Davis in a sorrowful tone. +"But stay!" he continued, "I have something more to say to you, before +you see the woman who calls herself his wife, and whom you believe to be +your mother. She does not know that Mathews is dead. I did not wish it +to go abroad, that my daughter had been murdered, and that the man with +whom she eloped had been hanged for the deed. Her running away with him +was sorrow and shame enough, without our acquaintances knowing any more. +They think that my daughter died in a natural way; and that the man +Mathews, has merely sent the child back to us, that we might bring it up +for him. The woman, you think is your mother, believes this also; and +that Mathews is still alive, and will soon return. She seems to love +him, more than she does her own life. I have informed you of this, so +that you may know how to act. She comes here often to see the child-- +because her husband was its father. She is a strange woman: for she +seems to love the little creature as though it was her own; and I have +no doubt would willingly take sole charge of it on herself, were we to +allow her." + +All this was strange information, and such as gave me exceeding pain. +It was evident that my unfortunate mother had profited nothing by the +experience of the past. She was as much infatuated with Leary as ever-- +notwithstanding that he had again deserted her, after she had made a +voyage of sixteen thousand miles to rejoin him! + +I saw Mrs Davis and the young Leary. It was an interesting child--a +boy, and bore no resemblance to the father, that I could perceive. Had +it done so, I should have hated it; and so did I declare myself in the +presence of its grandmother. In reply to this avowal, the old lady +informed me that Mrs Leary and I held a different opinion upon the +point of the child's resemblance: for she thought it a perfect image of +its father, and that was the reason why she was so dotingly fond of it! + +"Thank God!" said the grandmother, "that I myself think as you do. No. +The child has no resemblance to its unworthy father. I am happy in +thinking, that in every feature of its face it is like its mother--my +own unfortunate child. I could not love it were it not for that; but +now I don't know what I should do without it. God has surely sent us +this little creature, as some compensation for the loss we sustained by +being deprived of our dear daughter!" + +The grief of the bereaved mother could not be witnessed without pain; +and leaving her with the child in her arms, I withdrew. + +Volume Two, Chapter XV. + +A MEETING WITH A LONG-LOST MOTHER. + +From Mrs Davis I had obtained my mother's address; and I went at once +in search of the place. + +Passing along the street, to which I had been directed, I saw a small, +but neat-looking shop, with the words "_Mrs Leary, Milliner and +Dress-Maker_" painted over the door. I had journeyed far in search of +my mother; I had just arrived from a long voyage--which it had taken +three ships to enable me to complete. The weariness of spirit, and +impatience caused by the delay, had been a source of much misery to me; +but now that the object of my search was found--and there was nothing +further to do than enter the house and greet my long-lost relatives-- +strange enough, I felt as if there was no more need for haste! Instead +of at once stepping into the house, I passed nearly an hour in the +street--pacing up and down it, altogether undetermined how to act. + +During that hour my thoughts were busy, both with the past and future: +for I knew that in the interview I was about to hold with my mother, +topics must come into our conversation of a peculiar kind, and such as +required the most serious reflection on my part, before making myself +known to her. + +Should I make her acquainted with the ignominious termination of Mr +Leary's career; and by that means endeavour to put an end to her strange +infatuation for him? If what Mrs Davis had told me regarding her +should turn out to be true, I almost felt as if I could no longer regard +her as a mother. Indeed, when I reflected on her affection for such a +wretch as Leary, I could not help some risings of regret, that I should +have lost so much time, and endured so many hardships, in search of a +relative who could be guilty of such incurable folly. + +Notwithstanding the time spent in pacing through the street, I could +determine on no definite course of action; and, at length, resolving to +be guided by circumstances, I stepped up to the house, and knocked at +the door. + +It was opened by a young woman, about nineteen years of age. + +I should not have known who she was, had I not expected to meet +relatives; but the girl was beautiful, and just such as I should have +expected to find my sister Martha. My thoughts had so often dwelt upon +my little sister; that I had drawn in my mind an imaginary portrait of +her. Her blue eyes and bright hair, as well as the cast of her +countenance, and form of her features, had ever remained fresh and +perfect in my memory. I had only to gaze on the young girl before me, +refer to my mental picture of little Martha, remember that eleven years +had passed since last I saw her, and be certain that I had found my +sister. + +I knew it was she; but I said nothing to make the recognition mutual. I +simply asked for Mrs Leary. + +I was invited in; and requested to take a seat. + +The apartment, into which I was conducted, seemed to be used as a +sitting-room as well as a shop; and from its general appearance I could +tell that my mother and sister were not doing a very flourishing +business. There was enough, however, to satisfy me, that they were +earning their living in a respectable manner. + +To prevent being misunderstood, I will state, that, by a respectable +manner, I mean that they, to all appearance, were supporting themselves +by honest industry; and in my opinion there can be no greater evidence, +that they were living a life that should command respect. + +The young girl, without a suspicion of the character of her visitor, +left me to summon the person for whom I had made inquiry; and in a few +minutes time, Mrs Leary herself entered from an adjoining room. I saw +at a glance that she was the woman I remembered as _mother_! + +The face appeared older and more careworn; but the features were the +same, that had lived so long in my memory. + +It would be impossible to describe the strange emotions that crowded +into my soul on once more beholding my long-lost, unfortunate mother. I +know not why I should have been so strongly affected. Some may argue +that a weak intellect is easily excited by trifles. They may be +correct; but there is another phenomenon. A great passion can never +have existence in a little soul; and I know that at that moment, a storm +of strong passions was raging within mine. + +I tried to speak, but could not. Language was not made for the thoughts +that at that moment stirred within me. + +It was not until I had been twice asked by my mother, what was my +business, that I perceived the necessity of saying something. + +But what was I to say? Tell her that I was her son? + +This was what common sense would have dictated; but, just at that +crisis, I did not happen to have any sense of this quality about me. My +thoughts were wandering from the days of childhood up to that hour; they +were in as much confusion, as though my brains had been stirred about +with a wooden spoon. + +I contrived to stammer out something at last; and I believe the words +were, "I have come to see you." + +"If that is your only business," said my mother, "now that you have seen +me, you may go again." + +How familiar was the sound of her voice! It seemed to have been +echoing, for years, from wall to wall in the mansion of my memory. + +I made no effort to avail myself of the permission she had so curtly +granted; but continued gazing at the two--my eyes alternately turning +from mother to daughter--in a manner that must have appeared rude +enough. + +"Do you hear me?" said the old lady. "If you have no business here, why +don't you go away?" + +There was an energy in her tone that touched another chord of memory. +"It is certainly my mother," thought I, "and I am at home once more." + +My soul was overwhelmed with a thousand emotions--more strong than had +ever stirred it before. I know not whether they were of pleasure or of +pain: for I could not analyse them then, and have never felt them before +or since. + +My actions were involuntary: for my thoughts were too much occupied to +guide them. + +A sofa stood near; and, throwing myself upon it, I tried to realise the +fact that eleven years had passed, since parting with my relatives a +boy, and that I had met them again, and was a boy no longer! + +"Martha!" cried my mother, "go and bring a policeman!" + +The young girl had been gazing at me, long and earnestly. She continued +her gaze, without heeding the command thus addressed to her. + +"Mother," rejoined she, after an interval, "we have seen this man +before; I'm sure I have." + +"Did you not once live in Dublin, sir?" she asked, turning to me. + +"Yes, I once lived there--when a boy," I answered. + +"Then I must be mistaken," said she; "but I really thought I had seen +you there." + +There was something so very absurd in this remark, that I could not help +noticing it--even in my abstracted state of mind; and this very +absurdity had the effect of awakening me from my reverie. + +It then suddenly occurred to the young girl, that she had not been in +Dublin since she was a child herself; and, at the time she left that +city, a young man of my appearance could not have been much more than a +boy. + +"Perhaps, I am right after all?" said she. "I do believe that I've seen +you in Dublin. Mother!" she added, turning to the old lady; "He knows +who we are." + +Martha's first remark--about having seen me in Dublin--brought upon me +the earnest gaze of my mother. She had often told me that when a man I +would look like my father; and perhaps my features awakened within her +some recollections of the past. + +She came up to me; and, speaking in a low, earnest voice, said: "Tell me +who you are!" + +I arose to my feet, trembling in every limb. + +"Tell me who you are! What is your name?" she exclaimed--becoming +nearly as much excited as myself. + +I could no longer refrain from declaring myself; and I made answer:-- + +"I am the Rolling Stone." + +Had I been a small and weak man, I should have been crushed and +suffocated by the embraces of my mother and sister--so demonstrative +were they in their expressions of surprise and joy! + +As soon as our excitement had, to some extent, subsided; and we were +able to converse a rational manner, I inquired after my brother William. + +"I left him apprenticed to a harness-maker in Liverpool," answered my +mother. + +"But where is he now?" I asked; "that was long ago." + +My mother began to weep; and Martha made answer for her. + +"William ran away from his master; and we have never heard of him +since." + +I requested to be informed what efforts had been made to find him. I +was then told that my mother had written two or three times to the +harness-maker; and from him had learnt that he had used every exertion, +to discover the whereabouts of his runaway apprentice, but without +success. + +It appeared that my mother never liked to hear any one speak of William: +for she had some unpleasant regrets at having left him behind her in +Liverpool. + +I consoled her, by saying that I had plenty of money, that William +should be advertised for, and found; and that we should all again live +happily together--as we had in years long gone by. + +In all my life I was never more happy than on that evening. The future +was full of hope. + +It was true that much had yet to be done before my purposes could be +fully accomplished. But a man with nothing to do, cannot be contented. +We must ever have something to attain, or life is not worth the having. + +I had yet something to live for. I had still a task to perform that +might require much time and toil. I had yet to win Lenore! + +Volume Two, Chapter XVI. + +MYSTIFIED BY MARTHA. + +The next day I had a long conversation with my mother--as to what we +should do in the future. + +It resulted in my proposing, that we should return immediately to +Liverpool. + +"No! no!" protested she, with an eagerness that astonished me; "I cannot +think of that. I must wait for the return of my husband." + +"Your husband!" + +"Yes! yes! Mr Leary. He has gone to California; but I have reason to +believe that he will soon be back." + +"Now that you have spoken of _him_," said I, "please to tell me all +about him; and how he has used you since I left home." + +"He has always been very kind to me," she answered, "very kind indeed. +He has gone to the diggings in California, where I have no doubt but +what he will do well, and come back with plenty of money." + +"But I was told in Dublin that he deserted you there," said I. "Was +that very kind indeed?" + +"It is true; he did leave me there; but the business was doing badly, +and he couldn't help going. I have no doubt but what he was sorry for +it afterwards." + +"Then you followed him here, and lived with him again?" + +"Yes; and we were very happy." + +"But I have been told by Mr Davis--whom you know--that he again +deserted you here, and ran away to California with another woman. Is +that true?" + +"He did go to California," answered my foolish mother, "and I suppose +that Miss Davis went with him; but I blame her more than him: for I'm +sure she led him astray, or he would not have gone with her. However, +I'll not say much against her: for I hear she is dead now, poor thing!" + +"Knowing that she has deserted you twice, what leads you to think that +he will again return to you?" + +"Because _I know that he loves me_! He was always so kind and +affectionate. The woman, who led him astray, is no longer alive to +misguide him; and I know he will comeback to me." + +"My poor deceived, trusting, foolish mother!" + +I only muttered the words--she did not hear them. + +"Besides," continued she, "gold is now being found here in Australia. +Many of the miners are coming home again. I'm sure he will be among +them. It is true, he is a little wild for his years; but he will not +always be so. He will return to his wife; and we shall be once more +happy." + +"Mother! Am I to understand that you refuse to accompany me to +England?" + +"Rowland, my son," said she, in a reproachful tone, "how can you ask me +to go away from here, when I tell you that I am every day expecting my +husband to return? Wait awhile, till he comes; and then we will all go +together." + +Certainly to have said anything more to her on the subject would have +been folly. It would be no use in trying to reason with her, after that +proposal. The idea of my going aboard of a ship, on a long voyage, +accompanied by Mr Leary--even supposing the man to have been in the +land of the living--was too incongruous to be entertained and at the +same time preserve tranquillity of spirit. + +I was tempted to tell her, that Mr Leary had met the reward of his long +career of crime--or, at least, a part of it--but, when I reflected on +her extreme delusions concerning the man, I feared that such a +communication might be dangerous to her mind. + +From Martha I learnt what was indeed already known to me: that our +mother had been all along willing and ready to sacrifice not only her +own happiness, but that of her children, for the sake of this vile +caitiff. My sister told me, that when they reached Liverpool, and found +that Mr Leary had gone to Sydney, my mother determined to follow him +immediately; and that William had been left behind in Liverpool, because +she thought that coming without him she would be better received by the +wretch whom she called her husband. + +On reaching Sydney, they had found Mr Leary passing under the name of +Mathews. He was at first disposed to have nothing to do with his Dublin +wife; but having come to the knowledge that she was in possession of +about fifteen pounds of the money received for her lease, he changed his +mind; and lived with her, until he had spent every penny of it in drink +and dissipation. + +"Until he sailed for California," said Martha, "he used to come every +day, and stay awhile with mother--whenever he thought that he could +obtain a shilling by doing so; and then we saw him no more. Ah, +Rowland! I have had much suffering since we were together. Many days +have I gone without eating a morsel--in order that money might be saved +for Mr Leary. Oh! I hope we shall never see him again!" + +"You never will see him again," said I; "he is gone, where our poor +mother will be troubled with him no more: he is dead." + +Martha was an impulsive creature; and in her excitement at hearing the +news, exclaimed-- + +"Thank God for it! No! no!" she continued, as if repenting what she had +said, "I don't mean that; but if he is dead, it will be well for mother; +he will never trouble her again." + +I made known to my sister all the particulars of Leary's death. She +agreed with me in the idea I had already entertained: that the +intelligence could not with safety be communicated to our mother. + +"I don't believe," said Martha, "that any woman in this world ever loved +a man so much as mother does Mr Leary. I am sure, Rowland, it would +kill her, to hear what you have just told me." + +"But we must bring her to know it in some way," said I; "She must be +told of his death: for I can see that she will not consent to leave +Sydney, so long as she believes him to be alive. We cannot return to +England, and leave her here; and it is evident she won't go with us, +while she thinks there is the slightest chance of his coming back. We +must tell her that he is dead, and take chance of the consequences." + +My sister made no rejoinder to my proposal; and, while speaking, I +fancied that my words, instead of being welcome, were having an +unpleasant effect upon her! + +Judging by the expression upon her features, I did not think it was fear +for the result of any communication I might make to our mother, though +what caused it, I could not guess. + +Whenever I had spoken about returning to Europe, I observed that my +sister did not appear at all gratified with my proposal, but the +contrary! + +I could not comprehend, why she should object to an arrangement, that +was intended for the happiness of all. There was some mystery about her +behaviour, that was soon to receive an elucidation--to me as unexpected, +as it was painful. + +Volume Two, Chapter XVII. + +MY MOTHER MAD! + +I was anxious at once to set sail for Liverpool--taking my mother and +sister along with me. Of the money I had brought from San Francisco, +there was still left a sufficient sum to accomplish this purpose; but +should I remain much longer in Sydney, it would not be enough. I had +determined not to leave my relatives in the colony; and the next day a +long consultation took place, between myself and Martha, as to how we +should induce our mother to return to England. My idea was, to let her +know that Leary was dead--then tell her plainly of the crime he had +committed, as also the manner of his death. Surely, on knowing these +things, she would no longer remain blind to his wickedness; but would +see the folly of her own conduct, and try to forget the past, in a +future, to be happily spent in the society of her children? + +So fancied I. To my surprise, Martha seemed opposed to this plan of +action, though without assigning any very definite reasons for opposing +it. + +"Why not be contented, and live here, Rowland?" said she; "Australia is +a fine country; and thousands are every year coming to it from England. +If we were there, we would probably wish to be back here. Then why not +remain where we are?" + +My sister may have thought this argument very rational, and likely to +affect me. It did; but in a different way from that intended. Perhaps +my desire to return to Lenore hindered me from appreciating the truth it +contained. + +I left Martha, undetermined how to act, and a good deal dissatisfied +with the result of our interview. It had produced within me a vague +sense of pain. I could not imagine why my sister was so unwilling to +leave the colony, which she evidently was. + +I was desirous to do everything in my power, to make my new-found +relatives happy. I could not think of leaving them, once more +unprotected and in poverty; and yet I could not, even for them, resign +the only hope I had of again seeing Lenore. + +I returned to the hotel, where I was staying. My thoughts were far from +being pleasant companions; and I took up a newspaper, in hopes of +finding some relief from the reflections that harassed my spirit. +Almost the first paragraph that came under my eye was the following:-- + + Another Atrocity in California.--Murder of an English Subject.--We + have just received reliable information of another outrage having been + committed in California, on one of those who have been so unfortunate + as to leave these shores for that land of bloodshed and crime. It + appears, from the intelligence we have received, that a woman was, or + was supposed to have been, murdered, at the diggings near Sonora. The + American population of the place, inspired by their prejudices against + English colonists from Australia, and by their love for what, to them, + seems a favourite amusement--Lynch Law--seized the first man from the + colonies they could find; and hung him upon the nearest tree! + + We understand the unfortunate victim of this outrage is Mr Mathews--a + highly respectable person from this city. We call upon the Government + of the Mother Country to protect Her Majesty's subjects from these + constantly recurring outrages of lawless American mobs. Let it demand + of the United States Government, that the perpetrators of this crime + shall be brought to punishment. That so many of Her Majesty's loyal + subjects have been murdered, by blind infuriated mobs of Yankees, is + enough to make any true Englishman blush with shame for the Government + that permits it. + + There is one circumstance connected with the above outrage, which + illustrates American character; and which every Englishman will read + with disgust. When the rope was placed around the neck of the + unfortunate victim, a young man stepped forward, and claimed him as + his father! This same ruffian gave the word to the mob, to pull the + rope that hoisted their unfortunate victim into eternity! So + characteristic a piece of American wit was, of course, received by a + yell of laughter from the senseless mob. Comment on this case is + unnecessary. + +Regarding this article as a literary curiosity, I purchased a copy of +the paper containing it, by preserving which, I have been enabled here +to reproduce it _in extenso_. + +On reading the precious statement, one thing became very plain, that my +mother could not remain much longer ignorant of Mr Leary's death; and, +therefore, the sooner it should be communicated to her, in some delicate +manner, the better it might be. It must be done, either by Martha or +myself and at once. + +I returned forthwith to the house--in time to witness a scene of great +excitement. My mother had just read in the Sydney paper, the article +above quoted; and the only description I can give, of the condition into +which it had thrown her, would be to say, that she was mad--a raving +lunatic! + +Some women, on the receipt of similar news, would have fainted. A +little cold water, or hartshorn, would have restored them to +consciousness; and their sorrows would in time have become subdued. My +mother's grief was not of this evanescent kind. Affection for Mathew +Leary absorbed her whole soul, which had received a mortal wound, on +learning the fate that had unexpectedly, but justly, befallen the +wretch. + +"Rowland!" she screamed out, as I entered the house! "He is dead! He +is murdered. He has been hung innocently, by a mob of wretches in +California." + +I resolved to do what is sometimes called "taking the bull by the +horns." + +"Yes, you are right, mother," said I. "If you mean Mr Leary, he _was +hung innocently_; for the men who did the deed were guilty of no wrong. +Mathew Leary deserved the fate that has befallen him." + +My mother's intellect appeared to have been sharpened by her affliction, +for she seemed to remember every word of the article she had read. + +"Rowland!" she screamed, "you have come from California. You aided in +murdering him. Ha! It was you who insulted him in the hour of death, +by calling him father. O God! it was you." + +The idea of my insulting Mathew Leary, by calling him father, seemed to +me the most wonderful and original conception, that ever emanated from +the human mind. + +"Ha!" continued my mother, hissing cut the words. "It was you that gave +the word to the others--the word that brought him to death? You are a +murderer! You are not my son! I curse you! Take my curse and begone! +No, don't go yet! Wait 'till I've done with you!" + +As she said this, she made a rush at me; and, before I could get beyond +her reach, a handful of hair was plucked from my head! + +When finally hindered from farther assailing me, she commenced dragging +out her own hair, all the while raving like a maniac! + +She became so violent at length, that it was found necessary to tie her +down; and, acting under the orders of a physician, who had been suddenly +summoned to the house, I took my departure--leaving poor Martha, weeping +by the side of a frantic woman, whom we had the misfortune to call +mother. + +How long to me appeared the hours of that dreary night. I passed them +in an agony of thought, that would have been sufficient punishment, even +for Mr Leary--supposing him to have been possessed of a soul capable of +feeling it. + +I actually made such reflection while tossing upon my sleepless couch! + +It had one good effect; it summoned reason to my aid; and I asked +myself: Why was I not like him, with a soul incapable of sorrow? What +was there to cause me the agony I was enduring? I was young, and in +good health: why was I not happy? Because my mother had gone mad with +grief for the death of a wicked man? Surely that could be no cause for +the misery I myself suffered, or should not have been to a person of +proper sense? My mother had been guilty of folly, and was reaping its +reward. Why should I allow myself to be punished also? It could not +aid her: why should I give way to it? + +"But your sister is also in sorrow," whispered some demon into the ear +of my spirit, "and how can you be happy?" + +"So are thousands of others in sorrow, and ever will be," answered +reason. "Let those be happy who can. The fool who makes himself +wretched because others are, will ever meet misery, and ever deserve +it." + +Selfish reason counselled in vain: for care had mounted my soul, and +could not be cast off. + +Volume Two, Chapter XVIII. + +A MELANCHOLY END. + +The next morning, I was forbidden by the physician to come into my +mother's presence. + +He said, that her life depended on her being kept tranquil; and he had +learnt enough to know, that nothing would be more certain to injure her +than the sight of myself. He feared that she would have an attack of +brain fever, which would probably have a fatal termination. + +I saw Martha; and conversed with her for a few minutes. My poor sister +had also passed a sleepless night; and, like myself, was in great +distress of mind. + +Her affliction was even greater than mine: for she had never, like me, +been separated from her mother. + +The physician's fears were too soon realised. Before the day passed, he +pronounced his patient to be under a dangerous attack of brain fever--a +disease that, in New South Wales, does not trifle long with its victims. + +That night the sufferings of my unhappy mother ceased--I hope, for ever. + +For all that had passed, I felt sincere sorrow at her loss. For years +had I been anticipating an exquisite pleasure--in sometime finding my +relatives and providing them with a good home. I had found my mother at +last, only to give me a fresh sorrow--and then behold her a corpse! + +If this narrative had been a work of fiction, I should perhaps have +shaped it in a different fashion. I should have told how all my +long-cherished anticipations had been happily realised. In dealing with +fiction, we can command, even fate, to fulfil our desires; but in a +narrative of real adventures, we must deal with fate as it has presented +itself, however much it may be opposed to our ideas of dramatic justice. + +There are moments, generally met in affliction, when the most +incredulous man may become the slave of superstition. Such was the case +with myself, at that crisis, when sorrow for the loss of my mother, was +strong upon me. I began to fancy that my presence boded death to every +acquaintance or friend, with whom I chanced to come in contact. + +Memory brought before me, the fate of Hiram, on our "prospecting" +expedition in California, as also the melancholy end of the unfortunate +Richard Guinane. + +My truest friend, Stormy Jack, had met a violent death, soon after +coming to reside with me; and now, immediately after finding my mother, +I had to follow her remains to the grave! + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +Soon after we had buried our mother, I consulted Martha, as to what we +should do. I was still desirous of returning to Liverpool; and, of +course, taking my sister along with me. I proposed that we should +start, without further loss of time. + +"I am sorry you are not pleased with the colony," said she. "I know you +would be, if you were to stay here a little longer. Then you would +never wish to return." + +"Do not think me so foolish," I answered, "as to believe that I have +come to this place with the intention of remaining; and wish to leave +it, without giving it a fair trial. I came here on business, that is +now accomplished; and why should I stay longer, when business calls me +elsewhere?" + +"Rowland, my brother!" cried Martha, commencing to weep. "Why will you +_go_ and forsake me?" + +"I do not wish to forsake you, Martha," said I. "On the contrary, I +wish you to go along with me. I am not a penniless adventurer now; and +would not ask you to accompany me to Liverpool, if I were not able to +provide you with a home there, I offer you that, sister. Will you +accept of it?" + +"Rowland! Rowland!!" she exclaimed; "do not leave me! You are, +perhaps, the only relative I have in the world. Oh! you will not desert +me." + +"Silence, Martha," said I. "Do not answer me again in that manner; or +we part immediately, and perhaps for ever. Did you not understand me? +I asked you to go with me to Liverpool; and you answer, by intreating me +not to desert you. Say you are willing to go with me; or let me know +the reason why you are not!" + +"I do not wish to go to Liverpool," replied she; "I do not wish to leave +Sydney. I have lived here several years. It is my home: and I don't +like to leave it--I _cannot_ leave it, Rowland!" + +Though far from a satisfactory answer, I saw it was all I was likely to +get, and that I should have to be contented with it. I asked no further +questions--the subject was too painful. + +I suspected that my sister's reasons for not wishing to leave Sydney, +were akin to those that had hindered my mother from consenting to go +with me. In all likelihood, my poor sister had some Mr Leary for whom +she was waiting; and for whom she was suffering a similar infatuation? + +It was an unpleasant reflection; and aroused all the selfishness of my +nature. I asked myself: why I should not seek my own happiness in +preference to looking after that of others, and meeting with worse than +disappointment? + +Perhaps it was selfishness that had caused me to cross the Pacific in +search of my relations? I am inclined to think it was: for I certainly +did fancy, that, the way to secure my own happiness was to find them and +endeavour to make them happy. As my efforts had resulted in +disappointment, why should I follow the pursuit any longer--at least, in +the same fashion? + +My sister was of age. She was entitled to be left to herself--in +whatever way she wished to seek her own welfare. She had a right to +remain in the colony, if she chose to do so. + +I could see the absurdity of her trying to keep me from Lenore: and +could therefore concede to her the right of remaining in the colony. +Her motive for remaining in Sydney, might be as strong as mine was for +returning to Liverpool? + +I had the full affection of a brother for Martha; and yet I could be +persuaded to leave her behind. Should I succeed in overcoming her +objections--or in any manner force her to accompany me--perhaps +misfortune might be the result: and then the fault would be mine. + +At this time, there were many inducements for my remaining in the +colonies. Astounding discoveries of gold were being daily made in +Victoria; and the diggings of New South Wales were richly rewarding all +those who toiled in them. + +Moreover, I had been somewhat fascinated by the free, romantic life of +the gold-hunter; and was strongly tempted once more to try my fortune +upon the gold fields. + +Still there was a greater attraction in Liverpool. I had been too long +absent from Lenore; and must return to her. The desire of making money, +or of aiding my relatives, could no longer detain me. I must learn, +whether the future was worth warring for--whether my reward was to be, +Lenore. + +I told my sister that I should not any more urge her to accompany me-- +that I should go alone, and leave her, with my best wishes for her +future welfare. I did not even require her to tell me the true reasons +why she was not willing to leave Sydney: for I was determined we should +part in friendship. I merely remarked that, we must no more be lost to +each other's knowledge; but that we should correspond regularly. I +impressed upon her at parting--ever to remember that she had a brother +to whom she could apply, in case her unexplained conduct should ever +bring regret. + +My sister seemed much affected by my parting words; and I could tell +that her motive for remaining behind was one of no ordinary strength. I +resolved, before leaving her, to place her beyond the danger of +immediate want. + +A woman, apparently respectable, wished some one with a little money to +join her in the same business, in which my mother and Martha had been +engaged. + +I was able to give my sister what money the woman required; and, before +leaving, I had the satisfaction to see her established in the business, +and settled in a comfortable home. + +There was nothing farther to detain me in Sydney--nothing, as I fondly +fancied, but the sea between myself and Lenore! + +Volume Two, Chapter XIX. + +NEWS FROM LENORE. + +A large clipper ship was about to sail for Liverpool; and I paid it a +visit--in order to inspect the accommodations it might afford for a +passenger. + +I made up my mind to go by this vessel; and selected a berth in the +second cabin. Before leaving the clipper, I came in contact with her +steward; and was surprised at finding in him an old acquaintance. + +I was agreeably surprised: for it was Mason--the man who had been +steward of the ship Lenore--already known to the reader, as one of the +men, who had assisted in setting me right with Mrs Hyland and her +daughter. Mason was pleased to meet me again; and we had a talk over +old times. + +He told me, that since leaving Liverpool he had heard of Adkins; that he +was the first officer of an American ship; and had won the reputation of +being a great bully. + +I told the steward in return that I had heard of Adkins myself at a +later date--that I had in fact, seen him, in California, where I had +been a witness to his death, and that he had been killed for indulging +in the very propensity spoken of. + +Mason and Adkins had never been friends, when sailing together; and I +knew that this bit of information would not be received by the old +steward in any very unpleasant manner. Nor was I mistaken. + +"You remember Mrs Hyland, and her daughter?" said Mason, as we +continued to talk. "What am I thinking of? Of course you do: since in +Liverpool the captain's house was almost your home." + +"Certainly," I answered; "I can never forget _them_." + +On saying this, I spoke the words of truth. + +"Mrs Hyland is now living in London," the steward continued. "She is +residing with her daughter, who is married." + +"What!" I exclaimed, "Lenore Hyland--married?" + +"Yes. Have you not heard of it? She married the captain of a ship in +the Australia trade, who, after the marriage, took her and her mother to +London." + +"Are you sure--that--that--you cannot be mistaken?" I asked, gasping +for breath. + +"Yes, quite sure," replied Mason. "What's the matter? you don't appear +to be pleased at it?" + +"Oh nothing--nothing. But what reason have you for thinking she is +married?" I asked, trying to appear indifferent. + +"Only that I heard so. Besides, I saw her at the Captain's house in +London where I called on business. I had some notion of going a voyage +with him." + +"But are you sure the person you saw was Lenore--the daughter of Captain +Hyland?" + +"Certainly. How could I be mistaken? You know I was at Captain +Hyland's house several times, and saw her there--to say nothing of that +scene we had with Adkins, when we were all in Liverpool together. I +could not be mistaken: for I spoke to her the time I was at her house in +London. She was married about two years before to the captain of the +Australian ship--a man old enough to be her father." + +What reason had I to doubt Mason's word? None. + +I went ashore with a soul-sickening sensation, that caused me to wish +myself as free from the cares of this life, as the mother I had lately +lowered into her grave. + +How dark seemed the world! + +The sun seemed no longer shining, to give light; but only to warm my +woe. + +The beacon that had been guiding my actions so brightly and well, had +become suddenly extinguished; and I was left in a night of sorrow, as +dark, as I should have deserved, had my great love been for crime +instead of Lenore! + +What had I done to be cursed with this, the greatest, misfortune Fate +can bestow? + +Where was my reward for the wear of body and soul, through long years of +toil, and with that conscientious and steadfast spirit, the wise tell +us, must surely win? What had _I_ won? Only an immortal woe! + +Thenceforth was I to be in truth, a "Rolling Stone," for the only +attraction that could have bound me to one place, or to anything--even +to life itself--had for ever departed from my soul. + +The world before me seemed not the one through which I had been hitherto +straying. I seemed to have fallen from some bright field of manly +strife, down, far down, into a dark and dreary land--there to wander +friendless, unheeded and unloved, vainly seeking for something, I knew +not what, and without the hope, or even the desire of finding it! + +I could not blame Lenore. She had broken no faith with me: none had +been plighted between us. I had not even talked to her of love. + +Had she promised to await my return--had she ever confessed any +affection for me--some indignation, or contempt for her perfidy, might +have arisen to rescue me from my fearful reflections. + +But I was denied even this slight source of consolation. There was +nothing for which I could blame her--nothing to aid me in conquering the +hopeless passion, that still burned within my soul. + +I had been a fool to build such a vast superstructure of hope on a +foundation so flimsy and fanciful. + +It had fallen; and every faculty of my mind seemed crushed amid the +ruins. + +In one way only was I fortunate. I was in a land where gold fields of +extraordinary richness, had been discovered; and I knew, that there is +no occupation followed by man--calculated to so much concentrate his +thoughts upon the present, and abstract them from the past--as that of +gold hunting. + +Join a new rush to the gold fields, all ye who are weary in soul, and +sorrow-laden, and the past will soon sink unheeded under the excitement +of the present. + +I knew that this was the very thing I now required; and, from the moment +of receiving the unwelcome tidings communicated by Mason, I relinquished +all thought of returning to Liverpool. + +I did not tell my sister Martha of this sudden change in my designs; +but, requesting her not to write, until she should first hear from me, I +bade her farewell--leaving her in great grief, at my departure. + +Twenty-four hours after, I was passing out of the harbour of Sydney--in +a steamer bound for the city of Melbourne. + +Volume Two, Chapter XX. + +THE VICTORIA DIGGINGS. + +My passage from Sydney to Melbourne, was made in the steamer "Shamrock," +and, after landing on the shore of Port Philip, I tried to believe +myself free from all that could attract my thoughts to other lands. + +I endeavoured to fancy myself once more a youth--with everything to win, +and nothing to lose. + +The scenes I encountered in the young colony, favoured my efforts; and +after a time, I began to take an interest in much that was transpiring +around me. + +I could not very well do otherwise: since, to a great deal I saw in +Melbourne, my attention was called, in a most disagreeable manner. + +Never had I been amongst so large a population, where society was in so +uncivilised a condition. The number of men and women encountered in the +streets in a state of beastly intoxication--the number of both sexes, to +be seen with black eyes, and other evidences, that told of many a mutual +"misunderstanding,"--the horridly profane language issuing out of the +public-houses, as you passed them--in short, everything that met either +the eye or ear of the stranger, proclaimed to him, in a sense not to be +mistaken, that Melbourne must be the abode of a depraved people. There, +for the first time in my life, I saw men allowed to take their seats at +the breakfast tables of an hotel, while in a state of staggering +intoxication! + +With much that was disgusting to witness, there were some spectacles +that were rather amusing. A majority of the men seen walking the +streets--or encountered in the bar-rooms of public-houses--carried grand +riding whips; and a great many wore glittering spurs--who had never been +upon the back of horse! + +The hotel keepers of Melbourne did not care for the custom of +respectable people, just landed in the colony; but preferred the +patronage of men from the mines--diggers who would deposit with them, +the proceeds of their labour, in bags of gold dust; and remain drunk, +until told there was but five pounds of the deposit left--just enough to +carry them back to the diggings! + +I am not speaking of Melbourne at the present time; but the Melbourne of +ten years ago. It is now a fine city, where a part of all the world's +produce may be obtained for a reasonable price. Most of the inhabitants +of the Melbourne of 1853--owing to the facility of acquiring the means-- +have long since killed themselves off by drink and dissipation; and a +population of more respectable citizens, from the mother country, now +supply their places. + +I made but a short stay in this colonial Gomorrah. Disgusted with the +city, and everything in it, a few days after my arrival, I started off +for the McIvor diggings. + +I travelled in company with several others, who were going to the same +place--to which we had "chartered" a horse and dray for carrying our +"swags." + +One of my travelling companions was drunk, the night before leaving +Melbourne; and, in consequence, could eat no breakfast on the morning +when we were about to start. He had neglected to provide himself with +food for the journey; and depended on getting his meals at eating-houses +along the road. + +Before the day was over, he had become very hungry; but would not accept +of any food offered him by the others. + +"No thank'ee," he would say, when asked to have something. "I'll wait. +We shall stop at a coffee-house before night; and I'll make it a caution +to the man as keeps it. I'll eat all before me. My word! but I'll make +it a warning to him, whoever he be. He'll not want to keep a +coffee-house any longer." + +This curious threat was repeated several times during the day; and we +all expected, when evening should arrive, to see something wonderful in +the way of consuming provisions. + +We at length reached the coffee-house, where we intended to stay for the +night; and called for our dinners. When told to sit down, we did so; +and there was placed before us a shoulder of mutton, from which, as was +evident by the havoc made upon it, several hungry men had already dined. + +A loaf, baked in the ashes--known in the colonies as a "damper"--some +tea, in which had been boiled a little sugar, some salt, and a pickle +bottle with some dirty vinegar in it, were the concomitants of the +shoulder, or "knuckle" of mutton. I had sate down to many such meals +before; and was therefore in no way disappointed. But the man who had +been all day without eating seemed to be very differently affected. +According to custom, he had to prepay his four shillings, before taking +his seat at the table; and on seeing what he was to get for his money, +he seemed rather chagrined. + +"My word!" cried he; "I did say that I'd make it a warning to the +landlord; but my word!--he's made it a warning to me. I sate down +hungry, but I shall get up starving." + +None of us could reasonably doubt the truth, thus naively enunciated by +our travelling companion. + +After reaching the diggings at McIvor, I entered into partnership with +one of the men, who had travelled with me from Melbourne. We purchased +a tent and tools; and at once set to work to gather gold. + +Judge Lynch was very much wanted on the diggings of McIvor--as well as +throughout all Victoria, during the first three years after gold had +been discovered there. + +Those, who claimed to be the most respectable of the colonists, did not +want an English colony disgraced by "Lynch Law"--a wonderful bugbear to +the English ear--so they allowed it to be disgraced by ten times the +number of thefts and robberies than ever took place in California--which +they were pleased to style "the land of bloodshed and crime." + +In California miners never required to take their tools home with them +at night. They could leave them on their claims; and be confident of +finding them there next morning. It was not so in Victoria, where the +greatest care could not always prevent the digger from having such +property stolen. I have seen--in a copy of the "Melbourne Argus," of +November 5th, 1852--two hundred and sixty-six advertisements offering +rewards for stolen property! Yet "The London Times," November 6th, +1852, speaks of these same colonies in the following terms:--"It is +gratifying to learn that English love of law and common sense there +predominate." + +As most of the thefts there committed were of articles, too +insignificant to pay for advertising their loss, the reader may imagine +what was the state of society in Victoria at that time; and how far +"English love of law and common sense predominated!" + +It was only one of the thousand falsehoods propagated by the truculent +scribblers of this unprincipled journal; and for which they may some day +be called to account. + +But few of those, who committed crimes in the diggings, were ever +brought to trial; or in any way made answerable for their misdeeds. +Prisoners were sometimes sent down to Melbourne to be tried; but as no +one wished to be at an expense of thirty or forty pounds, travel a +hundred miles, and lose three or four weeks of valuable time to +prosecute them, the result was usually an acquittal; and crime was +committed with impunity. + +While at McIvor, a thief entered my tent during my absence from it; and +stole therefrom a spyglass that had been given me by Captain Hyland-- +with some other little articles that I had carried long and far, and +valued in proportion. + +I afterwards got back the glass by the aid of the police; and very +likely might have had the thief convicted and punished--had I felt +inclined to forsake a good claim, take a long journey to Melbourne, and +spend about forty pounds in appearing against him! + +As I did not wish to undertake all this trouble _pro bono publico_, the +criminal remained unpunished. + +Becoming tired of McIvor, I went on to Fryer's Creek. I there met with +a fellow-passenger from California--named Edmund Lee--with whom I joined +partnership; but after toiling awhile without much success, we proceeded +to a large rush at Jones' Creek--a distance of thirty-five miles from +Fryer's. + +We started in the afternoon; and stopped the first night at a place +called Castlemain. + +That evening I saw more drunken men than I had met during a whole year +spent in the diggings of California--where the sale of intoxicating +liquor was unrestricted, while on the gold fields of Victoria it was +strictly prohibited by law! Indeed, about four hundred mounted troopers +and policemen were in Castlemain at the time, for the purpose of +maintaining "English law and order;" and those selling intoxicating +drinks were liable to a fine of fifty pounds or imprisonment, or both! +One vice, so prevalent in California, was not to be observed on the gold +fields of Victoria. In the latter there were no gambling-houses. + +After leaving Castlemain, we walked about twenty-five miles; and stopped +all night at "Simpson's Station." + +On this pasture I was told there were sixteen thousand head of sheep. + +Before reaching Simpson's, we passed a station, on which the sheep were +infested with a disease, resembling the "shab." Carcasses of the dead +were everywhere to be seen; and those, that were still alive, were +hardly able to drag along the few locks of wool clinging to their +sky-coloured skins! + +On Sunday, the 14th day of August, 1853, we reached the diggings on +Jones' Creek, where we found about ten thousand people, but no place +where we could procure a meal of victuals, or a night's lodging! + +That the reader may have some idea of the hardships to which diggers +were then often exposed, I shall make known of the manner of our life, +while residing at Jones' Creek. + +We first purchased some blankets; and with these, some poles and pieces +of string, we constructed a sort of tent. At none of the stores could +we find a utensil for cooking meat; and we were compelled to broil it +over the fire on the end of a stick. Sometimes we could buy bread that +had come from Bendigo, for which we had to pay six shillings the loaf of +three and a half pounds weight! When unable to get this, we had to +purchase flour at a proportionate price, knead it into dough, and roast +it in the ashes. + +There was no place of amusement at Jones' Creek; and a strong police +force was stationed there, to suppress the sale of liquors; or, rather, +to arrest those who sold it; and also to hunt diggers for what was +called the "Gold Licence." + +The precious metal at this place was found very unevenly distributed +through the gullies; and while some were making fortunes by collecting +it, others were getting next to nothing. + +The gold was found in "nuggets"--lying in "pockets" of the slate rock; +and not a fragment could be obtained till these pockets had been +explored. + +The day after our arrival, my partner and I marked off two claims. +Being unable to hold them both, we took our choice of the two; and gave +the other one away to some men, with whom we had become slightly +acquainted. + +The top earth from both claims was removed--disclosing not a speck of +gold in that we had retained, while twenty-four pounds weight were +picked out--without washing--from the claim we had given away! + +Lee and I remained at Jones' Creek three weeks, worked hard, made +nothing, and then started back for Fryer's, where our late partners were +still toiling. + +On our way back we halted for dinner--where some men with a dray load of +stores,--on their way to one of the diggings, had also stopped for their +mid-day meal. + +We had neglected to bring any sugar with us; and wished to buy some for +our coffee. The men with the dray did not wish to sell any; but we +insisted on having it at any price. + +"We'll let you have a pannikin full of sugar," said one, "but shall +charge you ten shillings for it." + +"All right," said my companion, Edmund Lee. "It's cheap enough-- +considering." + +The man gave us the sugar; and then refused to take the money! He was +not so avaricious, as we had supposed. He had thought, by asking ten +times the usual price, to send us away, without being obliged to part +with what he might himself soon stand in need of! + +On the evening of the second day of our journey, about nine o'clock, we +reached the banks of Campbell's Creek--within four miles of the place we +were making for. + +Rain had been falling all the day; and the stream was so swollen, that +we could not safely cross it in the darkness. + +The rain continued falling, and we spread our wet blankets on the +ground. We prayed in vain for sleep, since we got none throughout that +long, dreary night. + +Next morning we arose early--more weary than when we had lain down; and, +after fording the stream, we kept on to Fryer's Creek--which we reached +in a couple of hours. + +We had been without food, since the noon of the day before; and from the +way we swallowed our breakfast, our former mates might have imagined we +had eaten nothing during the whole time of our absence! + +Volume Two, Chapter XXI. + +THE STOLEN NUGGET. + +I worked a claim in German Gully, Fryer's Creek, in partnership with two +men, of whom I knew very little; and with whom--except during our hours +of labour--I held scarce any intercourse. + +One of them was a married man; and dwelt in a large tent with his wife +and family. The other lived by himself in a very small tent--that stood +near that of his mate. Though both were strangers to me, these men knew +each other well; or, at all events, had been associates for several +months. I had been taken into their partnership, to enable them to work +a claim, which had proved too extensive for two. The three of us, thus +temporarily acting together, were not what is called on the diggings +"regular mates," though my two partners stood to one another in this +relationship. + +The claim proved much better than they had expected; and I could tell, +by their behaviour, that they felt some regret, at having admitted me +into the partnership. + +We were about three weeks engaged in completing our task, when the gold +we had obtained was divided into three equal portions--each taking his +share. The expenses incurred in the work were then settled; and the +partnership was considered at an end--each being free to go where he +pleased. + +On the morning after, I was up at an early hour; but, early as it was, I +noticed that the little tent, belonging to the single man, was no longer +in its place. I thought its owner might have pitched it in a fresh +spot; but, on looking all around, I could not see it. + +My reflection was, that the single man must have gone away from the +ground. + +I did not care a straw, whether he had or not. If I had a wish one way +or the other, it was to know that he _had_ gone: for he was an +individual whose _room_ would by most people have been preferred to his +_company_. For all that, I was somewhat surprised at his disappearance, +first, because he had not said anything of his intention to take leave +of us in that unceremonious manner; and, secondly, because, I did not +expect him to part from his mate, until some quarrel should separate +them. As I had heard no dispute--and one could not have occurred, +without my hearing it--the man's absence was a mystery to me. + +It was soon after explained by his comrade, who came over to my tent, as +I suppose, for that very purpose. + +"Have you noticed," said he, "that Tom's gone away?" + +"Yes," I answered; "I see that his tent has been removed; and I supposed +that he had gone." + +"When I woke up this morning," continued the married man, "and saw that +he had left between two days, I was never more surprised in my life." + +"Indeed!" + +I had a good deal of respect for Tom, and fancied he had the same for +me. I thought we should work together, as long as we stayed on the +diggings; and for him to leave, without saying a word about his going, +quite stunned me. My wife, however, was not at all surprised at it-- +when I told her that he had gone away. She said she expected it; and +only wondered he had had the cheek to stay so long. + +"I asked her what she meant. By way of reply she brought me this +nugget." + +As the man finished speaking, he produced from his pocket a lump of +gold--weighing about eighteen ounces--and held it up before my eyes. + +"But what has this to do with your partner's leaving you?" I asked. + +"That's just the question I put to my wife," said the man. + +"And what answer did she make?" + +"She said, that, after we had been about a week working in the claim, +she was one day making some bread; and when she had used up the last +dust of flour in the tent, she found that she wanted a handful to +sprinkle over the outside of the damper--to keep it from sticking to the +pan. With her hands in the dough, she didn't care to go to the store +for any; but stepped across to Tom's tent to get a little out of his +bag. There was no harm in this: for we were so well acquainted with +him, that we knew he would not consider it much of a liberty. My wife +had often before been into his hut, to borrow different articles; and +Tom knew of it, and of course had said, all right. Well, on the day I +am speaking of, she went in after the flour; and, on putting her hand +into the bag to take some out, she laid her fingers on this here lump of +yellow metal. Don't you see it all now? It's plain as a pike-staff. +Tom had found the nugget, while working alone in the claim; and intended +to keep it for himself, without letting either of us know anything about +it. He was going to rob us of our share of the gold. He has turned out +a damned thief." + +"Certainly it looks like it," said I. + +"I know it," emphatically asserted Tom's old associate. "I know it: for +he has worked with me all the time he has been on the diggings; and he +had no chance to get this nugget anywhere else. Besides, his having it +hid in the flour-bag is proof that he didn't come honestly by it. He +never intended to let us know anything about it. My wife is a sharp +woman; and could see all this, the moment she laid her hands upon the +nugget. She didn't let it go neyther; but brought it away with her. +When Tom missed it--which he must have done that very day--he never said +a word about his loss. He was afraid to say anything about it, because +he knew I would ask him how he came by it, and why he had not mentioned +it before. That of itself is proof of his having stolen it out of our +claim." + +There was no doubt but that the married man and his "sharp" wife were +correct in their conjecture, which was a satisfactory explanation of +Tom's strange conduct, in taking midnight leave of us. He had kept +silent, about losing the nugget, because he was not certain how or where +it had gone; and he had not left immediately after discovering his loss, +because the claim was too good to be given up for such a trifle. By +this attempt to rob us, he had lost the share of the nugget--which he +would have been entitled to--while his fears, doubts, and other +unpleasant reflections, arising out of the transaction, must have +punished him far more effectually than the loss of the lump of gold. He +could not have been in a very pleasant humour with himself, while +silently taking down his little tent, and sneaking off in the middle of +the night to some other diggings, where he might chance to be unknown. +I have often witnessed ludicrous illustrations of the old adage, that +"honesty is the best policy;" but never one plainer, or better, than +Tom's unsuccessful attempt at abstracting the nugget. + +There is, perhaps, no occupation, in which men have finer opportunities +of robbing their partners, than that of gold-digging. And yet I believe +that instances of the kind--that is, of one mate robbing another--are +very rare upon the gold fields. During my long experience in the +diggings--both of California and Australia--I knew of but two such +cases. + +The man who brought me the nugget, taken from Tom's tent, was, like the +majority of gold-diggers, an honest person. His disclosing the secret +was proof of this: since it involved the sharing of the gold with me, +which he at once offered to do. + +I did not accept of his generous offer; but allowed him to keep the +whole of it; or, rather, presented it to his "very clever wife,"--who +had certainly done something towards earning a share in it. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXII. + +A FEARFUL FRIGHT. + +After finishing my explorations on Fryer's Creek, I went, in company +with my "regular mates," to Ballarat, which was the place where +"jeweller's shops" were then being discovered. + +The gold on this field was found in "leads"--that lay about one hundred +and sixty feet below the surface of the ground. + +The leads were generally but one claim in width; and no party could +obtain a claim on either of them, without first having a fight to get, +and several others to keep, possession of it. + +My mates and I succeeded in entering a claim on Sinclair's Hill; and, +during the time we were working it, we had five distinct encounters with +would-be intruders--in each of which my friend Edmund Lee had an +opportunity of distinguishing himself; and, by his fistic prowess, +gained great applause from a crowd of admiring spectators. + +I have often been in places where my life was in danger, and where the +passion of fear had been intensely excited within me; but never was I +more frightened than on one occasion--while engaged in this claim upon +Sinclair's Hill. + +We were sinking the shaft; and I was down in it--at a depth of one +hundred and twenty feet from the surface of the earth. One of my +mates--as the readiest place to get clear of it--had thrown his +oil-cloth coat over the windlass. The coat, thus carelessly placed, +slipped off; and came down the shaft--in its descent causing a rustling, +roaring noise, that, to me below, sounded somewhat like thunder! + +I looked up. All was dark above; and the idea occurred to me, that the +shaft had given way at the "drift"--a place about sixty feet above my +head, where we had gone through a strata of wet sand. The noisy coat at +length reached the bottom, and I found myself unhurt; but, so frightened +had I been, that I was unable to go on with my work--until after I had +gone up to the surface, swallowed a glass of brandy, and taken a few +draws of the pipe! + +The business of mining, in the Victoria diggings, is attended with +considerable danger; and those who conduct it should be men of temperate +habits--as well as possessed of some judgment. Every one on the gold +fields, being his own master--and guided only by his own will--of course +there are many who work in a reckless manner, and often under the +influence of drink. As a consequence, accidents are, or were at that +time, of daily occurrence. + +When an accident resulted from intoxication, it was generally not the +drunken man himself--but his mate--who was the sufferer--the latter +having a bucket, or some heavy implement, dropped upon his head, from a +height of a hundred feet. + +Gold miners, as a class, are exceedingly indifferent to danger; and +careless about the means of avoiding it. They will often continue to +work in a shaft, that they know must soon "cave" in; but they do so +under the hope, that the accident will occur during the night, or while +they are at dinner. So long as there is a possibility of their +escaping, hope tells them they are "all right"--too often a deceitful +tale. + +While engaged in gold-digging, I had frequent opportunities of testing a +doctrine often put forward by tobacco-smokers: that the "weed" is a +powerful antidote to fear. Several times have I been under ground, +where I believed myself in danger; and have been haunted by fear that +kept me in continued agony, until my pipe was lit--when my apprehensions +seemed at once to vanish literally in a cloud of smoke! + +There is something in the use of tobacco, that is unexplained, or +untaught, in any work of philosophy, natural or unnatural, that I have +yet read. The practice of smoking is generally condemned, by those who +do not smoke. But certainly, there are times, when a man is the better +for burning a little tobacco, although the immoderate use of it, like +all other earthly blessings, may be converted into a curse. + +My readers may think, that a disquisition on tobacco can have but little +to do with the Adventures of a Rolling Stone. But why should they +object to knowing my opinions on things in general, since the adventures +themselves have been often either caused or controlled by these very +opinions? I have entered into a minute detail of my experience in +mining affairs, under the belief, that no sensible reader will think it +uninteresting; and, still continuing in this belief, I purpose going a +_little_ farther into the subject. + +While engaged in gold-digging, I have often been led to notice the +influence of the mind over the physical system. + +In washing dirt that contains but little gold, the body soon becomes +weary--so much so, that the work is indeed toil. On the other hand, +when the "dirt" is "rich," the digger can exert himself energetically +from sunrise to sunset, without feeling fatigue at the termination of +such a long spell of labour. + +In the business of mining--as in most other occupations--there are +certain schemes and tricks, by which men may deceive each other, and +sometimes themselves. Gold is often very ingeniously inserted into +fragments of quartz rock--in order to facilitate the sale of shares in a +"reef." + +I made the acquaintance of several diggers who had been deceived in this +way; and whose eyes became opened to the trick, only after the +tricksters had got out of their reach. On the other hand, I once saw a +digger refuse to purchase a share in a reef, from which "splendid +specimens" had been procured--fearing that some trickery was about to be +practised upon him. One month afterwards, I saw him give, for the same +share, just twenty times the amount that he had been first asked for it! + +I remember a party of "Tasmanians," who had turned up a large extent of +ground, in a claim on Bendigo. The richest of the earth they washed as +it was got out; and of the rest they had made a large heap, of what is +called "wash dirt, Number 2." + +This, they knew, would not much more than pay for the washing; and, as a +new "rush" had just been heard of, at a place some miles off, they +resolved to sell their "wash dirt, Number 2." + +Living near by the diggings was a sort of doctor, who used to speculate, +in various ways, in the business of gold-mining. To this individual the +Tasmanian diggers betook themselves; and told him, that they had +received private intelligence, from the new rush; and that they must +start for it immediately, or lose the chance of making their fortunes. +For that reason, they wished to sell their "wash dirt," which they knew +to be worth at least two ounces to the "load;" but, as they must be off +to the "new rush," they were not going to haggle about price; and would +take twelve ounces for the pile--they thought, in all, about thirty +loads. + +The doctor promised to go down the next morning, and have a look at it. +In the evening the "Tasmanians" repaired to an acquaintance, who was +unknown to the doctor; and requested him to be sauntering about their +dirt-heap in the morning, and to have with him a washing-dish. They +further instructed him--in the event of his being asked to wash a dish +of the dirt--that he was to take a handful from that part of the heap, +where he might observe a few specks of white quartz. + +Next morning the doctor came, as he had promised; but declined to +negotiate, without first having some of the dirt washed, and +ascertaining the "prospect." + +"We have no objection to that," said one of the proprietors of the +dirt-heap, speaking in a confident tone. + +"Oh! not the slightest, doctor," added a second of the party. + +"Yonder's a man with a washing-dish," remarked a third. "Suppose you +get him to prove some of it?" + +The man, apparently unconnected with any of the party, was at once +called up; and was told, that the dirt was to be sold; and that the +intending purchaser wished to see a "prospect" washed, by some person +not interested in the sale. He was then asked, if he had any objections +to wash a dish or two from the heap. + +Of course he had not--not the slightest--anything to oblige them. + +"Take a little from everywhere," said one of the owners, "and that will +show what the average will yield." + +The confederate did as requested; and obtained a "prospect" that +proclaimed the dirt probably to contain about four ounces to the load. + +The doctor was in a great hurry to give the diggers their price--and in +less than ten minutes became the owner of the heap. + +The dirt had been, what the diggers call, "salted," and, as was +afterwards proved, the speculating doctor did not get from it enough +gold to pay the expenses of washing! + +At Ballarat my partners and I were successful in our attempts at gold +hunting; and yet we were not satisfied with the place. Very few diggers +are ever contented with the spot upon which they happen to be. Rumours +of richer fields elsewhere are always floating about on the air; and +these are too easily credited. + +In the latter part of the year 1853, a report reached the diggings of +Victoria: that very rich "placers" had been discovered in Peru. + +There is now good reason for believing, that these stories were +originated in Melbourne; that they were set afoot, and propagated by +ship agents and skippers, who wished to send their ships to Callao, and +wanted passengers to take in them--or, rather, wanted the money which +these passengers would have to pay. + +Private letters were shown--purporting to have come from Peru--that gave +glowing descriptions of the abundance of gold glittering among the +"barrancas" of the Andes. + +The Colonial papers did what they could to restrain the rising +excitement; and, although they were partly successful, their +counter-statements did not prevent many hundreds from becoming victims, +to the trickery of the dishonest persons, at that time engaged in the +shipping business of Melbourne. + +A majority of those, who were deluded into going to Peru, were +Americans, Canadians, and Frenchmen--probably for the reason that they +were more dissatisfied with Australia, than the colonists themselves. + +Amongst the victims of the "Callao fever" I have to record myself--along +with two of my partners--Edmund Lea and another. All three of us being +too simple-minded to suspect the trick, or too ready to yield to +temptation, we set off for Melbourne; and thence set sail across the +far-stretching Pacific. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXIII. + +THE CALLAO GOLD FEVER. + +There could not well have been a more uninteresting voyage, than the one +we made to Callao. There was about one hundred and fifty passengers on +board--most of them young and wild adventurers. + +The master of the vessel had the good sense _not_ to attempt the game of +starving us. Had he done so, it would have obtained for him an +unpleasant popularity. We had no ground for complaint on the score of +food. + +The principal amusement on board the ship was that of gambling; but it +was carried on in a quiet manner; and we had no rows leading to any +serious disaster. We had no particular excitement of any kind; and for +this reason I have pronounced the voyage uninteresting. For all that, +it was not an unpleasant one. I have no hesitation in asserting, that, +with the same number of diggers of the pure Australian type, that long +voyage, before its termination, would have resembled a "hell aboard +ship." + +When we at length reached Callao, it was simply to find ourselves +laughed at for leaving Victoria! We had left behind us a land of gold; +and made a long sea voyage to discover that we had been "gulled." + +No one appeared to be at all disappointed. Every one was heard to say, +"It's just as I expected!" I may have said so myself--I don't remember +whether I did or not--but I admit now, that I thought myself "some" +deceived; and I believe that each of my fellow-passengers felt something +like myself: and that was, strongly inclined to kill either himself--or +some one else--for having been so damnably duped. + +To have heard most of them talk, you could scarce have believed, that +there had been any disappointment! Many alleged that they had been +dissatisfied with the colonies; and had only come to Peru to see that +celebrated country--which they had long desired to do! + +Some of them claimed, that they had only left the gold fields of +Victoria on a sea voyage--in order to recruit their strength; and that +they intended to return, and pursue the avocation of gold-digging with +greater energy than ever! + +Most of the Americans declared, that, they were on their way home across +the Isthmus of Panama! + +No one would acknowledge, that he had been made a fool of. Each, +according to his own showing, had come to Callao for some wise purpose, +which he was anxious to explain to the rest--notwithstanding the obvious +difficulty of obtaining credence for his story. + +About half of those, who were the victims of this gold-digging delusion, +became also victims to the fevers of Peru. Some proceeded up the coast +to California; others _did_ go home by the Isthmus of Panama; while a +few, and only a few, returned to Australia. + +In Callao I parted with my friend Edmund Lea, who was one of those who +took the Panama route, on his way back to the United States. + +He was returning to a happy home, where he would meet those--and there +were many of them--who would rejoice at his return. + +There was no such home for me. I was alone in the world--a Rolling +Stone--with no one to love--no one who cared for me--and no place, +except the spot under my feet, that I could call home. + +Lea was a young man who won the esteem of all with whom he came in +contact--at least, all whose respect was of any value. + +I parted from him with much regret. Before bidding adieu, we made +arrangements to correspond with each other; and I have heard from him +several times since. He is now, or ought to be, living in Lowell, in +the State of Massachusets. + +In the first ship "up" for Melbourne, I engaged a passage--resolved upon +returning to the gold fields of Victoria. + +The vessel had arrived from Melbourne only three weeks before--freighted +with a full cargo of deluded diggers; and the captain was now about to +extract from them some more of their money, by taking them back! + +On board there was one young man, who had come to Peru as a passenger. +He had not the money to take him back; and, being a seaman, he had +joined the ship as one of her crew. We sailed late in the afternoon, +and were some time getting out of the harbour. About ten o'clock at +night this young man was at the wheel, where he was spoken to by the +captain in a very harsh, unpleasant tone. It was said that the skipper +was intoxicated; and that he not only spoke in the manner described, but +struck the young sailor without the slightest cause or provocation. The +exact truth will perhaps never be told. The night was very dark; and +all that was certainly known is: that the sailor drew his knife, plunged +it into the captain's body; and then jumped overboard into the sea! + +As the captain had evidently received a mortal wound, the ship was put +about; and brought back to her anchorage within the harbour. The +captain was carried below; and for three or four hours he did nothing +but swear, and threaten to kill the sailor who had stabbed him. His +senses had forsaken him; and it was impossible to make him understand, +that the young man had leaped overboard, and was in all probability at +that moment fifty fathoms under the sea. + +The captain had a wife and two children aboard; and what with the noise +made by them, and his own wild ravings, not a soul, either among crew or +passengers, slept during that night. By six o'clock in the morning, the +wounded man had ceased to live. + +Three days after, another captain was sent aboard by the agents; and we +again set sail for Melbourne. + +Nothing was heard of the sailor previous to our leaving the port or ever +afterwards. At the time he jumped overboard lights were to be seen, +shining on many vessels in the harbour; and some believed that he might +have reached either a ship, or the shore. There was not much +probability of his having been saved. Both ships and shore were too +distant for him to have swum to either. In all likelihood he preceded +the captain, into that unknown world from which there is no return. + +Very few, either of the passengers or crew, blamed the young sailor for +what he had done. The captain had the reputation of being a "bully;" +and his having commenced practising his tyranny so early on the voyage-- +and especially on the man at the wheel, who, while there, should have +remained unmolested--gave evidence that had he continued to command the +ship, our passage across the Pacific might have proved of a character +anything but "peaceful." + +The skipper, who succeeded him, was a man of a different disposition. +He soon became a favourite with all on board; and we had both a quick +and pleasant passage to Melbourne--where we arrived without any further +accident or obstruction. + +When setting foot for the second time on Australian soil, I found the +city of Melbourne greatly changed--I am happy to say--for the better. + +An attempt was being made at keeping the streets clean. Old buildings +had been taken down; and new ones erected in their stead. The citizens, +too, were better dressed; and looked, as well as acted, more like human +beings. + +At the public-houses customers were served with food fitting to eat; and +were also treated with some show of civility. The number of people who +formerly seemed to think, that a public-house keeper held a higher +social position than the governor himself, had become greatly +diminished. They were now in a decided minority. + +Men were no longer afraid, during night hours, to trust themselves alone +in the streets; and they did not, as formerly, issue in armed bands from +the public-houses to protect themselves from being robbed, while going +to their homes, or repairing to places of amusement. + +Men found lying drunk in the gutters were now in some danger of being +placed upon a stretcher, and taken away by the police. + +The convict element was greatly upon the decrease; and the profane +language, imported from the slums of London, was not so disgustingly +universal. + +I have hurried through the narrative of my voyages from Melbourne to +Callao, and back, for two reasons. First, because nothing very +interesting occurred to me during either; and secondly, because I feel +somewhat ashamed at having been so ridiculously deluded; and have +therefore no desire to dwell upon the details of that ill-starred +expedition. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXIV. + +THE YARRA-YARRA. + +Soon after my return from Callao, I accompanied two acquaintances, upon +a hunting expedition up the Yarra-Yarra. + +There is some beautiful scenery along the banks of this river-- +beautiful, as curves of shining water, bordered by noble forms of +vegetable life, can make it. + +There is some pleasure to be found in a hunting excursion in Australia-- +although it does not exactly consist in the successful pursuit of game. + +In the morning and afternoon, when your shadow is far prolonged over the +greensward--and you breathe the free genial atmosphere of that sunny +clime--an exhilarating effect is produced upon your spirits, a sort of +joyous consciousness of the possession of youth, health, and happiness. +To breathe the evening atmosphere of Australia is to become inspired +with hope. If despair should visit the soul of one, to whom fate has +been unkind, it will come in the mid-day hours; but even then, the +philosopher may find a tranquil contentment by lying under the shade of +a "she oak," and imbibing the smoke of the Nicotian weed. + +One of my companions in the chase chanced to have--living about twenty +miles up the river--an acquaintance, who had often invited him to make a +visit to his "station." + +Our comrade had decided to accept the invitation--taking the two of us +along with him, though we were in no haste to reach our destination--so +long as we could find amusement by the way. + +The squatters, living on their "stations"--at a distance from large +towns, or assemblages of the digging population--are noted for their +hospitality. They lead, in general, a lonely life; and, for this +reason, visitors with whom they can converse, and who can bring them the +latest news from the world of society, are ever welcome. + +Both the climate and customs of Australia make visitors less troublesome +to their hosts, than in almost any other part of the world. + +The traveller is usually provided with his own blankets, carried in a +roll; and these, wrapped around him in the open air, he prefers to the +best bed his host could provide for him. + +All that we should require from our comrade's acquaintance would be his +company, with plenty of substantial food; and with this last article the +squatters of Australia are abundantly supplied. + +Not wishing to make a toil, of an excursion intended for amusement, we +had purchased an old horse, on which we had packed our blankets, with a +few articles of food to sustain us, till we should reach the station of +the squatter. + +We might have accomplished the journey in a single day; but walking +twenty miles within twelve hours, was too much like work; and, on the +first night, after leaving Melbourne, we had only made about half the +distance! + +We had sauntered leisurely along, and spent at least three or four hours +under the shade of the trees growing by the side of the road. + +This style of travelling appeared to suit the old horse, as much as his +masters. It was an animal that had seen its best days; and seemed +averse to any movement that called for a high degree of speed. Like +most of his kind, in the colonies, he was as much at home in one place +as another; and, wherever we stopped for repose, he appeared to think +that the halt was made for his especial accommodation. + +We did not make much effort to undeceive him. He had seen hard times; +and we were, probably, the best masters that had ever owned him. + +On the second morning, shortly after resuming our journey, we observed +some hills, thickly covered with timber--at some distance to the right +of our road. We diverged from the direct path--to see whether we could +not find a kangaroo, or some other harmless creature, possessing a happy +existence, that might be put an end to. + +This undertaking was a success--so far as the kangaroos were concerned-- +since we were not able to do injury to any of these creatures. + +We caught a glimpse of two or three of them, at a distance; but, after +roaming about the timbered ranges for several hours, we did not succeed +to get within killing distance of any of them. + +We returned to the bank of the river--just in time to form our bivouac, +before the night fell upon us--having accomplished during the day, about +four miles in the direction in which we intended going! + +"I am a little disgusted with hunting," said one of my companions, whose +name was Vane. "I move that in the morning we keep on to the station; +and see what amusement is to be found there." + +This proposition was carried, by a majority of three. The horse, being +indifferent on the subject, was permitted to remain neutral. + +"What amusement shall we find at your friend's house?" asked Vane of my +other companion--who was the one acquainted with the squatter we were on +the way to visit. + +"Well, I suppose we can have some hunting there," replied the individual +thus interrogated; and who always answered, in a polite manner, to the +name of "Cannon." + +"No, thank you!" said Vane. "We've had enough of that sort of thing +to-day. I don't want any more of it." + +"But at the station we shall be provided with horses," suggested Cannon; +"and, when we get sight of a kangaroo, we can run the animal down." + +"That makes a difference," said Vane; "and I don't mind trying it for a +day. But is there no other amusement, to be had at your friend's +house?" + +"Not that I know of--unless you make love to my friend's pretty +daughter." + +"Ah! that _would_ be amusement," exclaimed Vane, evidently a little +stirred by the communication. + +"Is she good-looking?" he asked. + +"Yes, extremely good-looking. But, remember, comrades," continued +Cannon, "I will allow no serious love-making." + +"Give yourself no uneasiness about that," rejoined Vane. "In love +affairs, I am never serious. Are you?" he asked, turning to me. + +"Yes, very serious," I answered, thinking of Lenore. + +"Then you will never be successful," said Vane. + +I passed half-an-hour in a fruitless endeavour to comprehend the +philosophy of this remark, after which I fell asleep. + +Next morning, we resumed our route for the squatters' station; and had +got about three miles along the road, when we came to a plain, entirely +destitute of timber. Upon this plain was a drove of about a hundred +horses. They remained motionless, with heads erect, and nostrils +spread, until we had approached within fifty yards of them. They then +turned, and galloped off at the top of their speed. + +At this moment, a change suddenly showed itself in the demeanour of our +old roadster. We had been driving him before us, for the last mile or +two, with great difficulty; but, on seeing his congeners take to flight, +he suddenly threw up his head; and, either calling out to the drove that +he was coming, or to us that he was going, he started towards them. +Before we could get hold of his bridle, he was beyond reach--going at a +rate that promised soon to place him among the foremost of the herd. + +We had supposed that our hack belonged to some "serious family" of +horses; and that the natural sedateness of his disposition had been +augmented by years of toil and starvation. We were never more +disappointed, than on seeing him forsake us in the fashion he did. A +two-year old could not have gone more gaily. + +Cannon and Vane started off in pursuit of him; but, as I had a little +more experience in colonial horses, than either of my companions, I bade +good-bye both to our roadster and my roll of blankets; and, stretching +myself under the shade of a tree, I resolved to await their return. + +I did wait. One hour passed, then another, and a third; and still my +companions did not come back. + +"I am a fool for remaining here," reflected I. "The squatters station +cannot be more than five miles distant; and they have probably gone +there? The herd of horses undoubtedly belongs to it; and my companions +have followed them home?" + +Influenced by these conjectures, I once more rose to my feet; and +continued the journey, that had been so unexpectedly interrupted. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXV. + +JESSIE. + +The path led me along the bank of a river. It was the Yarra-Yarra. + +As I moved onward, I began to perceive, that I had not been such a fool, +after all, in having waited awhile for my companions. My long quiet +reverie, in the shade of the tree, had refreshed me. I had escaped the +hot sunshine; and I should now be able to reach my destination, during +the cool hours of evening. + +I did not wish to arrive at the station before Cannon: as I should +require him to introduce me. + +My solitary journey was altogether an agreeable one. The bright waters +of the Yarra-Yarra flowed by my side, while the gentle breeze, as it +came softly sighing through the peppermint-trees, fanned my brow. + +After advancing, as I supposed, a distance of about four miles--hearing +only the cries of the screaming cockatoo, and the horribly human voice +of the laughing jackass--I was suddenly and agreeably surprised by the +barking of a dog. The animal could not be far off; and it was also in +the direction I was going--up the river. + +"The station cannot be distant?" thought I; and eager to catch a glimpse +of it, I hastened forward. I had scarce made a step further, when I was +startled by a piercing scream. It was a human voice--the voice of a +woman. She who gave utterance to it must be near the spot--concealed by +some wattle-bushes on the bank of the river? + +I rushed forward; and glided through the bushes into the open ground +beyond. I perceived a young woman just on the point of leaping into the +river! + +My abrupt appearance seemed to cause a change in her design. Suddenly +turning towards me, she pointed to the water, at the same time +exclaiming, "Save her! O, save her!" + +Looking in the direction thus indicated, I saw something like a child--a +little girl--struggling on the surface of the water. Partly supported +by the drapery of her dress, she was drifting down with the current. +The next instant I was in the water, with the child in my arms. + +The bank of the river, for some distance below, was too high and steep +for me to climb out again. After making two or three ineffectual +attempts, I gave it up; and, supporting myself and the child by a +swimming stroke, I permitted the current to carry us down, until I had +reached a place where it was possible to scramble ashore. + +The young girl upon the bank had done all she could to assist me, while +I was endeavouring to climb out; but, fearing, from the state of +excitement in which she appeared to be, that she would herself tumble +in, I had commanded her to desist. + +On my relinquishing the attempt to ascend the steep bank, she appeared +to think that I had done so in despair; and that both the child and I +were irrecoverably lost. + +Her screams recommenced, while her movements betokened something like a +determination to join company with us in the water. This, I believe, +she would have done, had I not at that instant reached a place, where +the bank shelved down to the surface, and where I at length succeeded in +getting my feet upon dry land. In another moment I had placed the child +in her arms. + +For some time after my getting out of the water, the attention of the +young girl was wholly engrossed by the little creature I had rescued; +and, without fear of my scrutiny being noticed, I had a good opportunity +of observing her. + +As she stood before me, affectionately caressing her little companion, I +thought that there could be on this earth but one other so lovely--one +Lenore. + +She appeared to be about sixteen years of age. I had often heard of +"golden hair," and always had regarded the expression as a very foolish +figure of speech. I could do so no longer on looking at the hair of +that Australian maiden. Its hue was even less peculiar than its +quantity. There seemed more than a delicate form could carry. + +I could not tell the colour of her eyes; but I saw that they emitted a +soft brilliant light, resembling the outburst of an autumn sun. + +When she became satisfied that the child was unharmed, she proceeded to +thank me for the service I had done, in "preserving the life of her +sister." + +I interrupted her expressions of gratitude, by offering to accompany her +to her home. The child, after the fright it had sustained, seemed +hardly able to stand; and I proposed to carry it in my arms. My +proposal was accepted; and we proceeded on up the river. + +An animal called in the colonies a "Kangaroo dog," led the way; and to +this quadruped the young girl directed my attention. + +"Rosa was running in advance of me," said she, "and was playing with the +dog. It was he that pushed her into the river. I fear, our mother will +not allow us to come out again, though I am very fond of straying along +the Yarra-Yarra. We have not far to go," she added; "the house is just +behind that hill, you see before us. It is not quite a mile to it." + +I was pleased to hear this: for Rosa was about five years of age, and of +a weight that I did not desire to walk under for any great distance. + +I had forgotten all about my gun. I had dropped it, when jumping into +the river; and only remembered it now, long after we had left the spot. +On turning towards my companion, I saw that she had it in her hands. + +During our progress towards her home, I was constantly making +comparisons between my companion and Lenore. They were mental, and +involuntary. She and Lenore were the two most lovely objects I had ever +seen; and yet they were altogether unlike. Lenore was dark, reserved, +and dignified, though the expression of her features and the silent +glance of her eye denoted, that her soul contained volumes of warm +poetic fancy that might never be expressed in words. + +The young girl by my side was fair and free-spoken; she talked almost +continuously; and I could plainly perceive, that every thought of her +mind must find expression in speech. + +Before we had reached the house, I had learnt the simple history of her +life. She was the daughter of Mr H--, the friend of Cannon--for whose +station we were bound. + +She was the one about whom Cannon had bantered Vane--telling him that he +might amuse himself by making love to her. Cannon had never spoken a +truer word in his life, than when he said that she was "extremely +good-looking." If the description was at all incorrect, it was because +it was too tame. She was more than good-looking--she was beautiful. + +I learnt from her that her name was Jessie, that her life was very +lonely on the station--where the appearance of a stranger, whatever he +might be, was an unusual event; and that she was much pleased that an +acquaintance of her father had sent word, that he was about to visit +them with two of his friends. + +"That acquaintance is Mr Cannon?" said I, interrogatively. + +"Yes; and you are one of the friends who was to come with him," rejoined +she, with a woman's instinct, jumping to the correct conclusion. "Oh! +we shall be so happy to have you with us!" + +We had still that mile further to go; but although Rosa was no light +weight to carry, the distance appeared as nothing. + +Before we had reached her home, Jessie H--seemed to be an old +acquaintance. I felt assured that my visit to her father's station +would prove a pleasant one. + +On arriving at the house there ensued a scene of excitement, of which +little Rosa's mishap was the cause. + +Jessie seemed determined to make me the hero of the hour; and I had to +listen to profuse expressions of gratitude from her father and mother-- +all for bringing a child out of the water--an act that a Newfoundland +dog would have performed, quite as cleverly as I. + +Little Rosa was the favourite of the family; and their thanks for what I +had done were in proportion to the affection entertained for her. + +When they had succeeded in making me feel very uncomfortable, and appear +very much like a fool, I had to listen to some nonsense from my +travelling companions Vane and Cannon--who had arrived at the station +nearly an hour before. Their badinage was to the effect, that I had got +the start of them, in the amusement of love-making to the beautiful +Jessie. + +My companions had been unsuccessful in the pursuit of our packhorse. He +had gone quite off into the "bush"--carrying his cargo along with him. + +We never saw either again! + +Volume Two, Chapter XXVI. + +AUSTRALIAN AMUSEMENTS. + +The owner of the station, Mr H--, followed the kindred occupations of +grazier and wool-grower; and, to judge by the appearance of his home, he +had carried on this combined business to some advantage. He was a +simple, kind-hearted man, about fifty years of age; and, having been a +colonist for more than twenty years, he understood how to make our visit +to his home as pleasant, as circumstances would admit. + +The day after our arrival, we were inducted into the mysteries of a +"kangaroo hunt." In chase of an "old-man kangaroo" we had a fine run, +of about three miles, through the bush; and the affair was pronounced by +Vane, who claimed the character of a sportsman, to be a more exciting +chase than any fox-hunt he had ever witnessed in the old country. To be +"in at the death" of a fox is to be present at a scene of considerable +excitement; but it is tame, when compared with the termination of a +kangaroo chase. When an "old-man kangaroo" is brought to bay--after +having come to the conclusion that he has jumped far enough--then comes +the true tug of war. + +The venerable gentleman places his back against a tree; and resists +further molestation in a most determined manner. He shows fight in his +own way--by lifting up one of his hind legs, and bringing it down again +with a sudden "slap"--all the time supporting himself in an upright +attitude on the other. The blow does not cause a sudden jar, like the +kick of a horse; but by means of his long, sharp claws, the kangaroo +will tear the skin from the body of a dog, or any other assailant, that +may imprudently come within reach. + +Vane and Cannon knew that I had been a sailor. They expected, +therefore, some amusement in seeing me "navigate" a horse across the +rough country--among the standing and prostrated trees of an Australian +"bush." + +They did not know, that I had been more than two years in the saddle--as +a United States dragoon; and that I had ridden over heaps of dead and +wounded men--over crippled horses and broken carriages--as well as +thousands of miles across the desert plains and through the dense +forests of America. + +They were taken somewhat by surprise, on beholding my horsemanship; and +Vane flattered me with the hope, that a few years' practice would make +me as good a hunter as himself! + +We returned home with a game-bag--containing two dead kangaroos; and +next day, at dinner, indulged in the luxury of "kangaroo-tail" soup. + +Our amusement, for the following day, was a fishing excursion along the +Yarra-Yarra. + +We caught an abundance of fish; but they were so small, that angling for +them appeared to be an amusement more fit for children than men; and we +soon became weary of the rod and line. + +Each day, on returning home to the station, we enjoyed the society of +the beautiful Jessie. + +As already stated, this young lady was an accomplished conversationist-- +though her teaching had been only that of Nature. She could carry on a +conversation with all three of us at once; and on a different subject +with each. + +I believe that Vane fell in love with her at first sight; and his whole +behaviour betokened, that he intended paying no attention to the command +or request which had been made by the man who introduced him. + +I knew very little about love affairs; but something whispered me that, +if Vane should form a serious attachment for Jessie H--it would end in +his disappointment and chagrin. Something told me, she would not +reciprocate his affection--however fond it might be. + +At the same time, I could perceive in the young lady a partiality for +myself. I did not attempt to discover the reason for this. It might +have been because my introduction to her had been made, under +circumstances such as often win a woman's love. She might have admired +my personal appearance. Why not? I was young; and had been often told +that I possessed good looks. Why should Jessie H--not fall in love with +me, as well as another? + +As I reflected thus, conscience whispered to me, that I should take +leave of Mr H--'s family; and return to Melbourne. + +I did not do so; and I give the reason. Jessie H--was so enchantingly +lovely, and her conversation so interesting, that I could not make up my +mind to separate from her. + +Several times I had mentally resolved to bid adieu to my new +acquaintances; but my resolutions remained unfulfilled. I stayed at the +station, under the fascinations of the charmer. + +Our diversions were of different kinds. One day we would visit a tribe +of native blacks living up the river, where we would be treated to +astonishing spectacles of their manners, and customs, especially their +exploits with the boomerang and spear. + +Our mornings would be spent in kangaroo hunting; and our evenings in the +society of the beautiful Jessie. + +One day we made an excursion--all going well mounted--to a grazing +station about fifteen miles from that of Mr H--. Our object was to +assist the proprietor in running a large drove of his young cattle into +a pen--for the purpose of having them branded. + +The animals were almost wild; and we had an exciting day's sport, in +getting them inside the inclosure. Several feats of horsemanship were +exhibited by the different graziers, who assisted at the ceremony. The +affair reminded me of what I had seen in California, upon the large +grazing estates--"ganaderias" of that country. We were home again +before dinner time; and in the evening I was again thrown into the +company of Jessie. + +I could not help reading her thoughts. They were easily interpreted: +for she made no attempt to conceal what others might have desired to +keep secret. Before I had been a week in her company, I was flattered +with full evidence, that the warmest love of a warm-hearted girl was, or +might be, mine. + +There are few that do not sometimes stray from the path of rectitude-- +even knowingly and willingly. By staying longer at the station of Mr +H--when convinced that the happiness of another depended on my leaving +it--I was, perhaps, acting as most others would have done; but I knew I +was doing wrong. It brought its own punishment, as wickedness ever +will. + +Jessie loved me. I was now sure of it. Several circumstances had +combined to bring this misfortune upon her. Grateful for the service I +had done in saving their child, her father and mother acted, as if they +could not treat me with sufficient consideration. Little Rosa herself +thought me the most remarkable man in the world; and was always talking +of me to her sister. + +It was natural for a girl like Jessie to love some one; and she had met +but few, from whom she could make a choice. There was nothing strange +in her young affections becoming centred on me; and they had done so. +Conscience told me that I should at once take myself from her presence; +but the fascination of that presence proved stronger than my sense of +duty; and I remained--each day, becoming more enthralled by the spell of +her beauty. + +Why was it wrong in me to stay by the side of Jessie H--? Lenore Hyland +had forsaken me; and why should I not love another? Where could I hope +to find a woman more beautiful, more truthful, more worthy of being +loved, or more capable of loving than Jessie. The task of learning to +love her seemed every day to grow less difficult; and why should I bring +the process to an abrupt termination? + +These considerations required my most profound reflection. They +obtained it--at least I thought so;--but the reflections of a man, under +the fascinating influence of female beauty, are seldom guided by wisdom. +Certainly mine were not, else I would not have allowed the hopes and +happiness of my life to have been wrested from me by the loss of Lenore. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXVII. + +"LOVE BUT ONE!" + +"What should I do?" This was the question that presented itself to my +mind, almost every hour of the day. It called energetically for an +answer. + +I loved Lenore Hyland--I felt that I ever should, as long as life was +left me. Such being the case, was it right for me to endeavour to gain +the affections of an unsophisticated girl like Jessie H--? Would it be +honourable of me to take advantage of that incident--which had no doubt +favoured her first inclination towards me? To win her heart, and then +forsake her, would be to inflict upon her the same sorrow I was myself +suffering for the loss of Lenore. + +Lenore was still more dear to me than life; and I had only lived since +losing her, because I believed it a crime to die, until some Supreme +Power should call me to come. And yet should I ever return to +Liverpool, and find Lenore a widow--even though she should wish it--I +could never marry her! + +"She can never be mine," thought I. "She never loved me; or she would +have waited for my return. Why, then, should I not love Jessie, and +make her my wife?" + +There are many who would have adopted this alternative; and without +thinking there was any wrong in it. + +I did, however. I knew that I could never love Jessie, as I had loved +Lenore--to whose memory I could not help proving true, notwithstanding +that she had abandoned me for another. This feeling on my part may have +been folly--to a degree scarce surpassed by my mother's infatuation for +Mr Leary; but to know that a certain course of action is foolish, does +not always prevent one from pursuing it. + +"Shall I marry Jessie, and become contented--perhaps happy? Or shall I +remain single--true to the memory of the lost Lenore--and continue the +aimless, wandering, wretched existence I have lately experienced?" + +Long and violent was the struggle within my soul, before I could +determine upon the answers to these self-asked questions. I knew that I +could love Jessie; but never as I should. "Would it be right, then, for +me to marry her?" I answered the last question by putting another. +"Should I myself wish to have a wife, who loved another man, and yet +pretended for me an affection she did not feel?" + +I need scarcely say, that this interrogatory received an instantaneous +response in the negative. It determined me to separate from Jessie H--, +and at once. To remain any longer in her society--to stay even another +day under the roof of her father's house, would be a crime for which I +could never forgive myself. To-morrow I should start for Melbourne. + +I had been walking on the bank of the river, when these reflections, and +the final resolve, passed through my mind. I was turning to go back to +the house, when I saw Jessie straying near. She approached me, as if by +accident. + +"Miss H--," said I, "I am going to take leave of you." + +"Going to leave me!" she exclaimed, her voice quivering as she spoke. + +"Yes; I must start for Melbourne to-morrow morning." + +She remained silent for some seconds; and I could see that the colour +had forsaken her checks. + +"I am very sorry," she said at length, "very sorry to hear it." + +"Sorry!" I repeated, hardly knowing what I said, "why should that +grieve you?" + +I should not have asked such a question; and, as soon as I had done so, +I perceived the mistake I had made. + +She offered no reply to it; but sate down upon the bank; and rested her +head upon her hands. An expression had come over her countenance, +unmistakeably of a painful character; and I could see that her eyes were +fast filling with tears. + +"Surely this girl loves me? And surely I could love her?" + +I know not how these two mental interrogatories were answered. I only +know that, instead of rejoicing in the knowledge that I had gained her +love, I was made miserable by the thought. + +I raised her to her feet; and allowed her head to rest upon my shoulder. + +"Miss H--," said I, "can it be that you show so much emotion, merely at +parting with a friend?" + +"Ah!" she replied, "I have thought of you as a friend; but such a one as +I never knew before. My life has been lonely. We are here, as you +know, shut out from all intercourse with the world. We can form but few +friendships. Yours has been to me like some unknown joy of life. You +have been my only thought, since I first saw you." + +"You must try to forget me--to forget that we have ever met; and I will +try to forget you. _I should_ only think of you as a friend!" + +For a second she stood gazing upon me in silence. Then tremblingly put +the question: + +"You love another?" + +"I do, although I love without hope. It is one who can never be mine-- +one I may, perhaps, never see again. She and I were playmates when +young. I fancied she loved me; but she did not: she has married +another." + +"How very strange! To me it seems impossible!" + +The artless innocence of these observations, proved the purity of the +mind from which they could emanate. + +"And yet," continued she, "for one who has acted in that manner, you can +still feel love?" + +"Alas! such is my unfortunate fate." + +"Oh! sir, if you but knew the heart you are casting away from you!--its +truth--its devotion and constancy--you would never leave me; but stay +here and be happy. You would learn to love me. You could not hate one, +who loves you as I can; and will to the end of my life!" + +I could make no reply to this speech. Sweet as it might have been to +the ears of some, I listened to it only with pain. I scarce knew either +what to say, or do; and I was only relieved, from my painful +embarrassment, when our steps brought us back to the house. + +I loved Lenore for what she had been; and regarded her now as lost--as +dead; yet I determined to remain true to her. My affections were not +wandering fancies--finding a home wherever circumstances might offer it. +I could "love but one." + +Jessie H--was beautiful, innocent, and affectionate; but all these +qualities could not conquer my love for Lenore; and honour commanded me +to depart speedily from her presence. + +Shortly after entering the house, she retired to her own room; and I saw +no more of her for the night. + +Before doing so myself, I took leave of Mr and Mrs H--, telling them +that I must be off by daybreak in the morning. + +My companions, Vane and Cannon, declared their unwillingness to +accompany me; and used every argument to dissuade me from such an abrupt +departure; but their arguments were only thrown away upon me. I had +formed the determination; and nothing could have influenced me to +abandon it. On becoming assured of this, they at length consented to go +along with me. + +Mr and Mrs H--did not urge me very strenuously to remain; and I +believe that their silent eloquence could have been explained: by the +supposition that it arose, from a regard for the happiness of their +daughter. + +We took our departure from the station at an early hour of the morning-- +before any of the household--except some of the domestics--were astir. + +This manner of leaving may appear unceremonious; and would be so, in +many parts of the world. But it is nothing unusual in Australia--where +early setting out upon a journey is almost the universal fashion. + +I did not care for the company of Vane and Cannon, on the way back to +Melbourne. I would much rather have dispensed with it: as I wished to +be alone. I wanted an opportunity for reflection--such as that journey +would have afforded me. The society of Jessie H--had revived many +memories within me. It had rekindled my passion for Lenore-- +strengthened my regrets for the past, and my despair for the future. + +As I walked at a rapid pace, my companions fell behind--until, at +length, I lost of them altogether. + +Before the hour of noon, I had reached the city of Melbourne--sorry to +think I had ever left it, to go upon an excursion, that had ended only +in adding to the discontent already too firmly established within my +bosom. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXVIII. + +UNSUITABLE ASSOCIATES. + +Once more I found myself without a home, without an occupation, and +without any plans for the future--with a spirit undecided--depending on +some slight circumstance as to what course I should next take. + +Such a position is ever unpleasant. I knew this, from the fact of +having been too often placed in it; and being well accustomed to the +disagreeable reflections attending it. + +I was anxious to decide, upon something to do. What should it be? What +part of the world should I next visit? Why had I come back to Melbourne +at all? Was it to make more money; or spend what I had already made? +These, and a thousand other interrogatories succeeded each other in my +mind; but to none of them could I give an intelligent answer. + +While in this state of indecision, I came near losing a portion of my +self-respect. There was a good deal to seduce me into habits of +dissipation; and not much to restrain me from them. I had no longer the +motives, to guard me against evil courses, that had once guided me. +What could I gain, by always keeping on my best behaviour? Ever since +first leaving home, I had endeavoured to conduct myself, as well as my +limited knowledge would allow. What had I gained by it? Nothing, +except, perhaps, a little vanity. Was this worth all the exertion I had +made by resisting temptation? + +Having little else to do, I spent some time in considering the question. +The result was: satisfaction at the course I had pursued, and a +determination to continue it. + +A little vanity is, perhaps, after all, not such a bad thing. If a man +cannot win the good opinion of others, he should endeavour to keep on +proper terms with himself; and this he cannot do, without conducting +himself in a proper manner. Because Fortune had not dealt with me, as I +had wished, that was no reason why I should take her for an example, and +imitate her unkindness. A man in adversity is too often deserted by his +acquaintances; but this is no argument for turning against himself and +becoming his own enemy. I determined not to act in a manner so stupid. +I had too much self-respect, or pride, or vanity, to do so. Call it by +what name you please, it served me at that time in good stead: for it +was this, and nothing else, that restrained me from entering upon a +course of dissipation. + +My companions Vane and Cannon were good examples of men, who act without +any fixed principles or firm resolve. They had both been, in the old +country, what is called a "little wild," and had come to the colonies +not from any inclination on their own part, but rather at the instance +of their relatives and friends. They had been _sent_ out, in fact--in +the hope of their getting _tamed_ by the hardships of colonial life. + +I have known thousands of genteel young men similarly expatriated; and +who, armed with letters of introduction and recommendation, had landed +in the colonies, under the belief that they were very much wanted there. +Never was there a greater delusion--as most of them had afterwards +reason to know. The only people required in Australia are those of good +habits--combined with some brains, or else a willingness to work. The +"fast youths" packed off to get them out of the way, are generally +deficient in these essential requisites--otherwise they might have found +employment at home. + +Unwilling to work, they arrive in the colonies with too good an opinion +of themselves and too low an opinion of the people there. Although +leaving England under the belief that there may be greater people left +behind, they feel confident that they will stand foremost in Australia. + +Some of these young gentlemen have the sense soon to discover their +mistake; and many of them turn to hard work, with a will that does them +credit. My companions Cannon and Vane were not of this kidney. Neither +would consent to do anything, that savoured of "toil;" and with all +their letters of introduction--backed by the influence of the friends to +whom they had come introduced--they were unable to procure what they had +been led to expect--easy situations under "government." + +According to their showing, there was something wrong in the system; and +the fault was with the colonial government and people. They could not +understand that those who are called upon to govern a young colony--and +put together the machinery of its social state--require to know +something: and that they who, in their native land, have proved +incapable of performing any useful duty, will be found still more +useless, in a land where the highest capability is required. + +Both had been unfortunate in having friends, who, while apparently +behaving too well to them, had in reality been treating them in a cruel +manner. They had been brought up in idleness--with the idea that labour +is vulgar, and disgraceful to a gentleman. With these views they had +been thrust forth upon a wide world--to war with life's battles, as it +were, undisciplined and unarmed. Neither had the spirit successfully to +contend against the adverse circumstances, in which they now found +themselves; and they appeared to think that the best way for combating +their misfortune was to betake themselves to a course of dissipation. + +I endeavoured to persuade them, to go up to the diggings with me, and +try to make their fortune by honest and honourable labour; but both +rejected my counsel--Vane even receiving it with scorn. They would not +soil their soft hands by bringing them in contact with the dirty earth! +They had as little inclination for such menial labour, as I for many +habits in which they indulged, and which to my way of thinking were far +more menial than gold-digging. + +They had been educated as gentlemen--I had not. Their ways were not my +ways; and, seeing this, I resolved to cut their acquaintance. They were +naturally not bad fellows; but they had faults, arising from a defective +education, that rendered their company undesirable--especially in a +place like Melbourne. + +They were both pleasant companions; and in many respects I could have +liked them; but as they were trying to live in Melbourne on nothing a +year, I saw they would not be the right sort of associates for me. + +To do them justice, they seemed to be aware of this themselves, more +especially Cannon. One day he had the honesty to confess to me, that he +was afraid he could not lead the life of a respectable gentleman any +longer. + +"Why?" I asked; "can you not get work?" + +"No," he answered with a sneer; "I'm not going to drive bullocks, or +dry-nurse a flock of sheep, for any man. I must live in some other +manner--whether it be considered respectable or not." + +"What can you do?" I inquired. + +"Haven't an idea. I only know, Stone, that I shall be `spongeing' on +you, if you don't cut my acquaintance." + +"And, when you can live on your acquaintance no longer, what then?" + +"Then I must turn billiard-marker. My friends have sent me here, as +they said, to make my fortune, but, as I believe, only to get rid of any +further trouble with me at home. They have succeeded in their purpose: +for I don't believe that I shall ever rise the `tin' to return to +England, although I should deucedly like to do so." + +"Why should you wish to go where you are not wanted? Why not set to +work; and become independent, by your own exertions?" + +"Ah! my friend, you forget that we have not been brought up alike. You +have had sensible parents, or guardians, who have done something to +prepare you for that sort of thing, while I have been brought up +foolishly by those who have tried hard to make me believe myself wiser +than other people. What seems easy to you, is altogether impossible to +me. You have been educated in a world that has taught you some wisdom, +while I have been trained by a family that has only made a fool of me. +I have been taught to believe that a man should owe everything to his +ancestors; and you, that he should be indebted only to himself. +Therefore, it's idle to talk about the matter--we can never agree." + +I saw that there was no use in urging Cannon to attempt doing any thing +in the colonies, as long as he could perceive no object to be gained by +exerting himself. + +Just then, I was myself slightly inclined to take a similar view of +things. I had hoped and toiled to make myself as perfect, as was +possible for a human being, placed in my circumstances. What had I +gained by it? Nothing. What could I expect to gain? Nothing. +Influenced by these thoughts, I remained for some time in doubt, whether +I should return to the diggings or not. Life there, was, after all, +only an excitement. It was not happiness. + +Several times the temptation came strong upon me, to go back to Jessie; +and see if I could find happiness with her. In striving to overcome +this temptation, I was, perhaps, acting not so unlike my companions-- +Vane and Cannon: I was refusing to accept of fortune's favours, when +they could so easily have been won. + +They were in a growing colony, where, with labour, they might easily +have obtained a high position--yet they would not exert themselves. I +was playing a very similar part; for I saw how I might become happy--at +all events, how I might live without unhappiness--yet I rejected the +opportunity fortune had thus set before me. I would only consent to +accept happiness on my own terms; and my obstinacy was not so very +different from that which was the besetting sin of my companions. + +I never felt more like a Rolling Stone, than when in Melbourne upon that +occasion; but the sensation was not peculiar to myself: for the city +contained thousands of people who had been everywhere; and were ready, +at an hour's notice, to go there again! + +Volume Two, Chapter XXIX. + +FARRELL'S STORY CONTINUED. + +I at length succeeded in making up my mind to leave Melbourne; and, +having parted with Vane and Cannon, I proceeded alone to Geelong--on my +way to the gold fields of Ballarat. It was my first visit to Geelong; +and I made it a short one; but, short as it was, I came to the +conclusion, that if the people of Geelong had, within the two previous +years, advanced in civilisation as rapidly as those of Melbourne, they +must have been in a dreadfully degraded state before: since I found the +social, moral, and intellectual condition of the place, if possible, +still lower than that which had disgusted me on my first visit to +Melbourne--and this is saying a deal. + +The principal business of the Geelongers appeared to be that of +drinking; and at this they were, to a high degree, industrious. Almost +every one, with whom I came in contact, used obscene language, and were, +or appeared to be, in every way more depraved, ignorant, and brutish, +than any people to be found out of England itself. + +From Geelong I went on to Ballarat--a distance of forty-eight miles--in +a conveyance drawn by four horses; and paid for my accommodation the +smart sum of six sovereigns. + +On my arrival, I once more pitched my tent on the richest gold field +known to the world. + +Gold-diggers had been called "lucky vagabonds" by the then +Attorney-General of Victoria. Perhaps he was right; but, whatever name +had been given them, I was well pleased at finding myself once more in +their company; and ready to share their toils, chances, and +disappointments. + +There is something in gold hunting that unsettles a man's mind, and +makes him unfit for the ordinary occupations of life; and yet the +calling itself is exactly suited to the state of mind it thus produces. + +In this respect it is perhaps, unfortunately--too like the profession of +the gamester. + +No other occupation could have been so well adapted to my state of mind. +I had no hopes to realise--no object to accomplish, but that of +forgetting the past, and guarding my thoughts from straying into the +future. + +Such being the case, it was with much satisfaction that I again found +myself a "lucky vagabond"--amidst the ever-varying scenes of excitement, +to be witnessed on the gold fields of Ballarat. + +The first acquaintance I encountered, after my arrival at the place, was +Farrell--the Californian gold-digger--whom I had last seen in San +Francisco. + +As a matter of course, we stepped into the nearest hotel, to have a +glass together. + +"I suppose," said Farrell, as soon as we were seated--"you have no +objection to listen to the conclusion of that little romance--the second +chapter of which I made you acquainted with in San Francisco?" + +"Not the slightest," I answered. "Although I felt sorry for what had +happened to you, I confess I was very much amused at what you told me. +But the most interesting part of the romance--as you call it--had not +transpired. I shall be very glad to hear more of it." + +"Well," proceeded Farrell, "you shall. As I told you they would, Foster +and my wife came out to California; and, as I expected, to San +Francisco. However, they had come ashore so very secretly and quietly, +that I did not succeed in finding them, until they had been about ten +days in the city. + +"Foster took a house in Sacramento Street, furnished it with the money I +had sent home to maintain my faithless wife; and laid in a stock of +liquors. He intended to commence business in the grog-selling line; and +was about opening the establishment, when I found them out. + +"As soon as I did so, I went straight to the house--prepared for some +sport. + +"Foster and my wife were out shopping, and, no doubt, spending what +remained of my money. The new tavern was in charge of a young man, whom +they had engaged as a barkeeper. + +"I immediately took possession of the whole concern--the house, and +everything in it. + +"I then discharged the barkeeper from their employment; and, the instant +after, engaged him in my own service. + +"I remained in that house for nine weeks--managing the business which +Foster had intended to profit by; and then sold out for five thousand +dollars. + +"Neither Foster nor my wife, to my knowledge, ever came near the place-- +at all events, they never showed their faces in the house. They had +found out, by some means, that I was in possession; and that had proved +sufficient to make them surrender their claim without a contest. + +"After selling out, I found leisure to look about me; and make further +enquiries concerning the precious pair. I learnt that they had gone up +to Sacramento city--where they had both taken situations in a +public-house, managed by some other man. They had no longer any money, +to go into business for themselves. + +"I was still determined to see them; and started off for Sacramento. + +"They must have had some one on the watch; for, on reaching the place, I +found they had left only two hours before! As my anger had been for +some time evaporating, I had no desire to pursue them any farther. The +fact is, I felt a degree of freedom--after the loss of my wife--that +went far towards reconciling me to the man who had relieved me of her. +Besides, there was something in the idea of having turned Foster out of +his finely furnished house in San Francisco, that made me think myself +nearly square with him; and I did not care to take any more trouble, +simply for the sake of troubling them. + +"I returned to San Francisco; and from that place took passage in a ship +just sailing for Melbourne. + +"My anger has now entirely passed away; and yet I know I am still having +some revenge--in addition to that I have already got. Wherever they may +be, they are not living happily. They know that they have done wrong; +and I'd lay a wager, there's not an hour of the day that they're not +thinking of me, and dreading that I will make my appearance. + +"I can return to my native land, and be happy. They cannot. I never +wish to see either of them again: for I have become philosophical, and +am willing that their crime should bring about its own punishment." + +I congratulated Farrell on the philosophy that had enabled him so +successfully to regain his tranquillity of spirit; and, after giving +each other mutual directions for meeting again, we parted company. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXX. + +ODD FASHIONS IN THE GOLD FIELDS. + +Farrell's philosophical resolve--to trouble the delinquents no more-- +formed the subject of my reflections, as I walked towards my tent. It +was an illustration of the power which circumstances may have, in +allaying even the strongest passion: for I knew that, when first made +acquainted with his dishonour, the man had felt both deeply and +resentfully. + +I could not help applying the lesson to myself. "Is it possible," +thought I, "that any circumstances can ever arise to allay my longings +for Lenore? Is there in time a power that will yet appease them?" + +My sentimental reflections were interrupted, by a scene that was of a +different character--altogether comical. Not far from the place where I +had parted with Farrell, I saw a crowd collected around a tent. Two +miners, who had been "regular mates," were quarrelling; and their +neighbours had gathered upon the ground, to be edified by an abundance +of vituperative eloquence. + +After the two men had, for a considerable time, amused the bystanders +with their dispute, there appeared to be but one point upon which they +could agree. That was that they should remain "mates" no longer. + +The tent, some provisions in it, along with their mining tools and +cooking utensils, they owned in common: having shared between them the +expense attending their purchase. + +As these things could not be divided to the satisfaction of both +parties, it was proposed that each should remove from the tent, whatever +was fairly entitled to be called his "private property," and that +everything held in common--including the tent itself--should be burnt! +This proposal was at once agreed to. + +Each then brought forth from the tent his roll of blankets, and along +with some other purely "personal effects." The ropes, picks, shovels, +and buckets--that chanced to be lying outside the tent--were then +"chucked" inside; after which, a match was applied to the dry canvass, +and the diggers' dwelling was instantly in flames. The two disputants +then walked coolly away from the place--each carrying his bag upon his +back; one going to the east, the other to the west, amidst the cheers of +the spectators--all of whom seemed greatly to admire this original mode +of dissolving a partnership. + +Law is so expensive and uncertain in all newly-established communities, +that even sensible people do not like to resort to it, in the settlement +of their disputes. Perhaps in this respect, the citizens of older +communities might imitate the gold-diggers to advantage. + +While in California, I was witness to another incident illustrative of +the unwillingness to resort to the judgments of a legal tribunal. It +was a case of two gold-diggers, who had been working together, and were +about to dissolve partnership. Among the property they had owned in +common was a fine mule. Each was desirous of becoming sole possessor of +the animal; but neither would consent to give the other the price +demanded for parting with his share. The difficulty might have been +arranged by arbitration; but, neither desiring to be under any +obligation to a third party, they adopted a more independent plan for +settling the dispute. + +"I'll give you fifty dollars for your share of the mule," proposed one, +"or I'll take a hundred for mine? I want the animal." + +"And I'll give you fifty for your share, or take a hundred for mine?" +said the other, "I want it too." + +"I'll make you another offer," said the first. "We'll play a game of +`Euker,' and whoever wins shall have the mule?" + +The third challenge was accepted. The game was played; and the +difficulty settled in five minutes, without any expense or ill-feeling +arising out of it! + +A disposition to settle doubts and difficulties by chance--that +"unspiritual god"--is very common, among those who have long followed +the occupation of gold hunting--for the reason, no doubt, that there is +so much chance or uncertainty in the calling itself. Gold-diggers +become familiarised to a sort of fatalism; and, in consequence, allow +many questions to be decided by chance, that should be submitted to the +test of reason. + +I have seen a miner after working out a rich claim, toss up a dollar, to +decide whether he should return home or not! The piece of money fell +wrong side down; and the man remained at the diggings; and for aught I +know, may be there still, working for a "pennyweight per diem." + +And yet I do not always condemn this mode of relieving the intellect +from the agony of doubt. + +I once met two miners in San Francisco--to which place they had come +from different diggings, for the purpose of having a few days' rest +after months of toil. They had been shipmates to California; and now +meeting again, each told the other of the way fortune had served him, +since they had parted. + +"I have got together two thousand three hundred dollars," said one. "I +came out here to make up a pile of four thousand. If I had that, I'd go +home." + +"I have done nearly as well," said the other; "I have about two +thousand; and if I had what we have both got, I'd go home; and never +touch pick or shovel again." + +"Ah! so would I," sighed the first. + +"Well, then," challenged his old shipmate, "I'll tell you what we can +do. We both want to go back home, with not less than four thousand +dollars. We need not _both_ be disappointed. One of us can go; and let +the other stay. I'll cut a pack of cards with you; and the one who cuts +highest, shall take four thousand dollars, and go home. The odd two or +three hundred will be enough, to carry the loser back to the diggings. +What say you, old hoss?" + +This proposal was instantly accepted. The man, who had made it, lost +his two thousand dollars; and next morning he handed the money over to +his more fortunate friend, shook hands with him, and started back for +the diggings! + +This story may seem improbable, to those who have never been in +California in its best days; but I can vouch for its truth. + +After parting with Farrell, I seemed destined to witness a variety of +incidents on that same evening; and of both characters--comic and +tragical. + +Shortly after passing the crowd, who had assisted at the dispute of the +two miners, I came in sight of another concourse of people--in the +middle of which appeared two or three policemen. They were gathered +around the shaft of an abandoned claim. I went up to see what the +excitement was about; and learnt, that a Chinaman had been found +suspended in the shaft. + +The Celestial had committed suicide, by hanging himself; and the plan he +had adopted for terminating his existence, seemed, from its ingenuity, +to have met with as much admiration from this crowd, as had been +bestowed by the other one on the mode of settling their dispute, which +had been adopted by the two diggers. + +The Chinaman, knowing that the shaft was a deep one, had placed a large +log of wood across the top of it. To the middle of this he had tied the +end of a rope about fifteen feet long. The other end he had fastened, +loop fashion, around his neck; and then jumped down the shaft. No Jack +Ketch could have performed the operation for him, in a more effectual +manner. + +I afterwards learnt that the Chinaman had been an opium eater; and that +he had secretly squandered some gold, in which his mates owned shares. +The crime preying on his conscience--perhaps, when he had no opium to +fortify it--was supposed to be the cause of his committing the act of +self-destruction. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXXI. + +A DISAGREEABLE PARTNERSHIP. + +For two or three days I strolled about the diggings, looking for some +opportunity of setting myself to work. On the Eureka lead I found five +men holding a claim, that stood a good chance of being "on the line." +It was within four claims of a place where gold was being taken out; and +the "lead" would have to take a sharp turn to escape this place. A +shaft had already been sunk to the depth of twenty feet, that would have +to go down about ninety feet further. It would require eight hands to +work the claim; and the five who owned it wished to sell some shares-- +for the purpose of making up the number. + +The price asked was fifty pounds each; and, not seeing any better +prospect of getting into a partnership, I purchased a share; and paid +over the money. + +I did not much like the appearance of my new partners. None of them +looked like men accustomed to do hard work, or earn their livelihood in +any respectable way. They seemed better suited for standing behind a +counter, to sell gloves and ribbons, than for the occupation of +gold-digging. But that the claim was likely to prove rich, I should not +have chosen them as working associates. + +One of the number was named John Darby. He was one of those +individuals, who can never avail themselves of the fine opportunities +afforded, for saying nothing. Darby's tongue was constantly on the go, +and would often give utterance to a thousand words that did not contain +a single idea. His eloquence was of the voluble kind, and very painful +to the ear--being nothing but sound, without one grain of sense. His +voice often reminded me of the clattering of the flour-mills I had heard +in Callao. Whenever he would mount a hobby, and get his tongue freely +going, the air seemed to vibrate with the movement of ten thousand +demons, each hurling a fire-ball into the brain of the listener! + +According to his own account, Darby had been ten times shipwrecked on +the voyage of life. Several times, by not being able to marry as he +wished; and once, when he was too successful in this design. The latter +misfortune he regarded as being more serious than all the others. + +Physically, as well as morally and intellectually, my gold-digging +companion, John Darby was a singular creature. He did not weigh more +than ten stone--though he was six feet one inch high standing in his +shoes. + +He had a small round head, from which hung long bay-coloured tresses of +hair; and these he every day submitted to a careful dressing _a la +Nazarene_. + +Another member of our interesting "firm," who went by the name of +"George," was simply an educated idiot. + +In the opinion of many persons the man who has received a book +education--whatever his natural abilities--must be a highly intelligent +person. For my part, I think different; and I have adopted my belief, +from an extensive experience of mankind. + +It has been my misfortune to meet with many men of the class called +"educated," who knew absolutely nothing that was worth the knowing; and +George was one of these. He had received college instruction, yet no +one could spend five minutes in his company without thinking of the +phrase "ignorant idiot." + +Like most people of his class, his folly was made amusingly conspicuous, +by his assumption of an intellectual superiority over the rest of his +companions. + +Like most people, too, he had his vexations, the greatest being that his +superiority was not always acknowledged. On the contrary, he was often +chagrined by the discovery: that the light of his genius--like that of +the lamp that burned in Tullia's grave--could not be seen of men. His +eccentricities were at times amusing. Perhaps he had not been created +in vain, though it was difficult to determine what had been the design +of bestowing existence upon such a man--unless to warn others against +the absurdities, by which he daily distinguished himself. He was a +living lesson in the sixth volume of the great work of Nature; and none +could study him, without subjecting themselves to a severe +self-examination. Useless as I may have supposed the existence of this +man to be, I must acknowledge myself indebted to him for many valuable +lessons. My observation of his follies had the effect of awakening +within me certain trains of thought, that removed from my own mind many +strong prejudices hitherto possessing it. In this sense, I might say, +that, he had not been created in vain, though his intended mission could +not have been that of delving for gold on the fields of Ballarat. + +Another of our firm had been an apothecary's assistant in London; and +had but recently made his _debut_ on the diggings. He could not think +of anything else, nor talk on any other subject, than the "shop," and +what it contained; and I could not help fancying myself close to a +chemical laboratory, whenever this individual came near me. + +The other two partners of the concern used to make their appearance on +the claim, about ten o'clock in the morning; and generally in a state of +semi-intoxication. + +These two men kept my mind in a constant state of trepidation--that is, +when they were at work with me. I could never feel safe, in the shaft +below, when I knew that either of the two was at the windlass. + +Any man, in the least degree affected by drink, is a dangerous associate +in the working of a gold mine--especially when entrusted with the charge +of the windlass. He may not see when a bucket wants landing; or, when +trying to lower it, he may hang the handle over the wrong hook--an +almost certain consequence of which will be the crushing in of the skull +of whoever may have the misfortune to be below! + +No wonder that I felt some apprehension, while toiling in the +companionship of my intoxicated partners. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXXII. + +A SUDDEN DISSOLUTION OF PARTNERSHIP. + +So much did my apprehensions prey upon me, that I had some idea of +selling out my share and forsaking the partnership; but I had not been +very long in the concern, before becoming convinced that we were sinking +a shaft into one of the richest claims upon the line. + +It was alike evident to me, that a great deal of hard labour would have +to be performed, before the gold could be got out of it; and that my +associates were the wrong men for this sort of thing. + +Fortunately at this crisis a man of a different character purchased one +of the two shares, that had remained unsold. Fearing that the other +share might fall into the hands of some trifler like the rest of my +original partners, I purchased it myself; and then underlet it to a +young fellow, with whom I had formed an acquaintance. This young man +had been hitherto unsuccessful at gold-digging. His name was John +Oakes; and I had learnt from him that, he was by profession a sailor, +yet--unlike the majority of sailors met with on the gold fields--he was +a man of temperate habits; and seemed determined to save money, if he +could only get hold of it. + +Up to this time he had not found an opportunity of acting upon his good +resolves: for every claim, in which he had taken a share, had turned out +a failure. + +Before telling Oakes of my intentions towards him, I simply informed +him, that I had purchased the eighth share in our claim, and offered to +underlet it to him. + +"There's nothing I'd have liked better," said he, "than to get into a +claim along with you. You are always lucky; and I should have been sure +of getting something at last; but unfortunately I haven't the money to +pay what you have advanced." + +"Never mind that," rejoined I. "The claim is pretty safe to be on the +lead; and you can pay me, when you have obtained your gold out of it." + +"Then I accept your offer," said Oakes, apparently much gratified. "I +need not tell you, how kind I think it of you to make it. I feel sure +it will bring me a change of luck. I've never had but one decent claim, +since I've been on the diggings; and the gold I got out of that was +stolen from me. Rather, should I say, I was robbed of it. Did I ever +tell you how that happened?" + +"No--not that I remember." + +"Well, then, let me tell you now. There were three of us in +partnership, in a good claim on Eagle-Hawk Gully, Bendigo. We got out +of it about forty-eight pounds of pure gold. During the time we were at +work, we used to take the gold--as quick as we cleaned it out--to the +Escort Office; and leave it there on deposit, until we should finish the +job. + +"When we had worked out the claim, we all went together to the office, +and drew out the deposit. + +"My two mates lived in a tent by themselves; and they proposed that we +should go there--for the purpose of dividing our `spoil.' + +"On the way, we stopped at a tavern--with the owner of which they were +acquainted, where they borrowed some gold weights and scales. They also +purchased a bottle of brandy--to assist us, as they said, in the +pleasant task that we had to perform. + +"We then continued on to their tent. After going inside, we closed the +door--so that no one should interrupt us, or see what we were about. + +"Before proceeding to business, each of my mates drank a `taut' of the +brandy; and, although I did not care for it, to keep from quarrelling +with them, I took a thimbleful myself. Immediately after swallowing +that brandy--although, as I have said, there was only a thimbleful of +it, I became insensible; and knew nothing of what passed afterwards. I +did not recover my senses, until the next morning, when I found my two +mates gone, and nothing in the tent except myself! They had taken the +whole of the gold--including my share--along with them; and I have never +set eyes upon either of them since. + +"That lesson has cured me for ever of any propensity for strong drink, +besides making me very particular as to the men I work with. What sort +of fellows are they in the claim with you?" + +"That is a subject on which I was just going to speak to you," said I. +"They are not of the right sort for the work we have to do: one of them +is an old woman, another a young one, and a third is worse than either. +Two others are drunkards. There is only one--and he lately entered with +us--who can be depended on for doing any work." + +"It's unfortunate," said Oakes; "but I mustn't lose the chance of a good +claim, for all that. I've no other prospect of getting one. I'll come +over in the morning; and go to work with you. Perhaps, when the shaft +is sunk, and we get a sight of the gold, there may be a reformation +amongst your mates." + +Next morning, at seven o'clock, Oakes made his appearance upon the +claim. George and the apothecary came up a little later; and were soon +followed by Mr John Darby. + +When Oakes and Darby met, they recognised each other as old +acquaintances. + +"Is it possible, Darby, that I find _you_ still in the colony?" asked +Oakes. "I thought that you had long ago started for England." + +"No; I did not intend going home," replied Darby, evidently not too well +pleased at encountering his old acquaintance. "I only went to Melbourne +for a few days--to recruit my health, which was never very good at +Bendigo. After getting all right again, I came out here." + +Darby continued talking as if against time; and, as we were looking out +with some impatience for the two drunkards, we allowed him to go on +without interruption. + +I had requested all the members of the "firm" to be early upon the +ground on that particular morning. A full company had now been made up; +and I wanted to come to some understanding with my partners--about a +more energetic "exploration" of the claim. + +The two "swipers," as they were called, soon after made their +appearance; and, as they drew near, I could perceive that another +recognition had taken place. + +On seeing the new partner, both turned sharp round; and then started +off, at a brisk pace, in the opposite direction! + +For a moment Oakes appeared surprised--as if uncertain what to make of +it. All at once, however, his comprehension became clearer; and, +calling to me to follow him, he set off in pursuit of the fugitives. + +The two had diverged from each other in their flight; and, as they had +already got a good start of us, both were successful in making their +escape. When Oakes and I came together again, he informed me, that the +men were his old mates, who had robbed him on the Bendigo diggings! + +We repaired to the police encampment; and, after procuring a force, +proceeded to the tent of the runaways. + +As a matter of course, we found that the birds had flown; and could not +be discovered anywhere upon the diggings. + +We were no more troubled with them, as "sleeping partners" in the claim. + +Volume Two, Chapter XXXIII. + +A FRIGHTFUL NUGGET. + +When Oakes and I got back from our search after the thieves, we +discovered that still another defection had taken place in the firm. +During the interval of our absence, Mr John Darby had sold his share, +to a person, who had the appearance of having work in him, after which +that talkative gentleman had quietly slipped away from the spot. + +I had noticed that he had not seemed highly delighted with the idea of +my friend Oakes coming into the company; and I presumed that this was +the cause of his sudden desertion of us. + +On making my conjecture known to Oakes, I received from him the +following explanation: + +"I knew Darby," said Oakes, "when he first arrived in the colonies. He +had come over here, as many others do, under the belief that hard work +was degrading to a gentleman, such as he loudly proclaimed himself to +be. Suffering under this affliction, he would not condescend to become +a miner, but obtained a situation in the government camp at Bendigo. + +"One day I had the misfortune to pass an hour in his company--during +which he seemed struck with a fit of temporary sensibility, and declared +his intention to take to gold-digging. + +"Toiling to get gold," said he, "is manual labour, I admit; still it is +not degrading to a man of fine sensibilities. I'm told that there are +men of all the learned professions engaged in mining; and that a +celebrated author is now a gold-digger at the Ovens. Gold-diggers have +no masters; and I have even heard, that they affect to despise us +government people at the camp." + +I afterwards ascertained that Mr Darby had been dismissed from the +government employment, just before making these remarks; and to this +cause, no doubt, might be assigned the change, that had taken place in +his views regarding "labour." + +Not long after that interview with him, he made his appearance near +where I was working, in the Bendigo diggings. He had some mining tools +with him--such as gold-diggers sometimes buy for the amusement of their +children. He appeared as if he intended to pick up a fortune, without +soiling his hands with the dirt, since both of them were gloved! + +Paying no heed to some derisive cries that greeted him as he came upon +the ground, he strutted on, looking out for a claim. + +The place, he at length selected for his debut in gold-digging, was +chosen with some apparent judgment. + +Seeing two old shafts, about ten yards apart, that had the appearance of +having been well worked, he supposed the ground between them must also +be worth working; and just half-way between the two he commenced sinking +another. + +The soil of the place was shallow--not over eight feet in depth--and +Darby, inspired by high hopes, toiled industriously for the greater part +of a day. At the end of each hour it could be seen that his head had +descended nearer to the level of the earth; and, before leaving off in +the evening, he had got waist deep into the dirt. + +Next morning he was again at work, at a very early hour. + +"I sha'n't be surprised," said he to one of his neighbours who was +passing, "if I should find a jeweller's shop here. If it turns out +well, I shall be on my way home to-morrow. As good luck would have it, +the Great Britain sails for England next week." + +"I shall not be surprised at your good luck," replied the miner, with a +significant smile; "at least, not any more than you'll be astonished at +finding no gold in that hole." + +"I won't be at all astonished," retorted Darby; "astonishment is a +vulgar feeling, that I'm not in the habit of indulging in. So far as +that goes, it would make little difference to me, whether I found no +gold at all--a nugget the size of myself--or the devil." + +Darby continued toiling for nearly an hour longer. At the end of this +time, he was seen suddenly to spring up out of the hole; and run with +all the speed, his tottering limbs could command, in the direction of +his tent--falling down, once or twice, on the way! + +Some of the diggers had the curiosity to go, and look down the hole he +had made--in the hope of discovering the cause of his so suddenly +forsaking it. To their surprise they saw a human corpse! It was partly +uncovered. The face, with its half decayed features, had been exposed +to view by the spade of Mr Darby, who had been all the time engaged in +re-opening an old tunnel excavated by their former owners between the +two worked-out claims. + +Some man had been murdered; and his body concealed in the tunnel. Of +course the miner who had "chaffed" Darby in passing knew nothing of +this. He only knew that a tunnel was there; and that Darby would get no +gold out of the shaft he was sinking; but the man was as much astonished +as any of us, on seeing the horrible "nugget" that had rewarded the +labours of the "gentleman gold-digger." + +We heard that afternoon that Darby--immediately after receiving payment +for his share in our claim--had started off to Melbourne, with the +intention of returning to England. He had still retained enough pride +of character, or vanity, or whatever it might be called, to dread the +ridicule, that he knew must await him, should Oakes tell us the story of +that Bendigo nugget. + +His defection was a fortunate circumstance for us: as it led to our +procuring, in his place, a partner capable of performing a full share of +the toil we had before us. + +On that day Fortune appeared determined to favour us. Before night we +had disposed of the two shares, abandoned by the "swipers," to a couple +of first-class miners. + +Next morning we all went to work with a will. Even George and the +apothecary--stimulated by the example of the others--did their best to +imitate it. + +This, however, was on their part only a spasmodic effort. Before many +days had elapsed, the toil proved too great for their powers of +endurance; and each entered into an agreement with a "working partner," +who was to have one-half of their gold in return for the labour of +getting it out for them. + +After this arrangement had been made, we could count on a proper working +company; and our progress in the _exploitation_ of the mine was, +thenceforth, both regular and rapid. + +We had not been long engaged upon the claim, when we discovered that it +_was_ "on the line," and our toil was lightened by the golden prospects +thus predicated. + +I was struck with the interest which Oakes appeared to feel in the +result. He would scarce take time, either for eating or sleeping, and, +I believe, he would have continued to toil twenty-two hours, out of the +twenty-four, had we allowed him! + +When the claim was at length worked out, and the gold divided, Oakes +came to me, and paid back the fifty pounds I had advanced towards the +purchase of his share. + +"You have made my fortune," said he, "and I am going home with it +to-morrow. It is not a large one; but it is all I require. I must now +tell you what I intend to do with the money--as I believe that will be +some reward to you, for your generosity in taking me into the claim. I +have a father, who has been in prison for seven years for debt; and all +for the paltry sum of a hundred and sixty pounds! Six years ago, I left +home, and turned sailor, only that I might get my passage to some +foreign land--where I might make the money to pay this debt, and take my +father out of prison. I knew I could never raise it in England--where +some of our governing people tell us we are so prosperous, and +contented! One hundred and sixty pounds was a large sum, for a young +fellow like me to get together. I knew I could never make it up, by +following the sea; and I had begun to despair of ever doing so, until I +got aboard of a ship in Cape Town bound for Melbourne. Of course I +joined the ship, with the intention of escaping from her, when we should +reach Melbourne. I need hardly tell you, that I succeeded. One night, +as we were lying anchored in Hobson's Bay, off Williamston, I slipped +into the water; and, by swimming more than a mile, I reached the shore. +Soon after, I found my way to the Bendigo diggings. + +"While working out that claim on Eagle-Hawk Gully--of which I have told +you--I was the happiest man on earth: but, when I discovered that my +mates had absconded with my gold, I was driven nearly distracted. It +was a cruel disappointment to a man, anxious to liberate an honest +father from prison, as well as extricate a mother and two sisters from a +situation of extreme misery. + +"Since then I have had no good luck--until you got me into this claim we +have just completed. Thank God, I've got the money at last; and may He +only grant that I shall live to reach old England with it, in time to +relieve my suffering relatives. That is all I care for in this world; +and if I can accomplish it, I shall be willing to die." + +At my request Oakes promised to write to me from Melbourne; and let me +know in what ship he would sail. + +This promise was kept, for, the week after, I received a letter from +him, informing me--that he had embarked in the ship "Kent," bound for +London. + +I could not help offering up a silent prayer, that favouring winds would +safely waft him to his native shore; and that his long-cherished hopes +might meet with a happy realisation. + +------------------------------------------------------------------------ + +END OF VOLUME TWO. + +Volume Three, Chapter I. + +AN ADVENTURE WITH A "BLACK FELLOW." + +Shortly after the departure of Oakes, I went to a little rush, on Slaty +Creek, on the Creswick's Creek Gold-fields, about thirteen miles from +Ballarat. + +I was accompanied by two others, with whom I had lately been working. +Soon after arriving at the rush, we took possession of a claim; and +proceeded to "prospect" it. + +After sinking a small hole on the claim, and washing some of the earth +from the bottom of it, we found a little gold--not what we thought +"payable," and yet the "prospect" was so good that we did not like to +forsake the claim. In hopes that it might contain richer "dirt" than +what we had found, we determined to stay by it a while longer. + +To sink our shaft to any advantage, we needed a crowbar. There were +some very large stones in the ground that could not be moved without +one. A crowbar was an article we did not possess; and as we could not +find one at the two or three stores established on Slaty Creek, I walked +over, one evening, to Creswick Creek--a distance of some three or four +miles--intending to purchase one there. + +By the time I reached the township, made my purchase, and started +towards home, it had got to be ten o'clock. About half a mile from +Creswick, on the road homeward, I had to pass a camp of native blacks. + +These people, in morality and social habits, are upon a scale, perhaps, +as low, as humanity can reach. The sole object of their existence is, +to obtain strong drink. For that, they will sometimes work at gathering +bark and poles; or they will look about for stray specks of gold--in +places where the miners have been working, and which have been +abandoned. + +Any one, who understands the strength of their aversion to labour, may +form some idea of the desire these blacks have for drink: when it is +known that they will sometimes do the one for the sake of getting the +other! + +An Australian native black, after becoming degraded by intercourse with +the whites, will sell his mother, sister, or wife, for brandy! + +The party, whose camp I was compelled to pass, had evidently met with +some success, in their various ways of obtaining brandy during that day, +for from the noise they were making, I judged that all, or nearly all of +them, must be in a state of intoxication. + +Not wishing to be annoyed, by their begging for tobacco--which I knew +they would be certain to do, should they see me--I resolved to keep out +of their way. Instead of following the direct path--which led on +through the place where they had erected their "_mia-mias_" or huts--I +made a detour of their encampment. After passing well round it, I +turned once more towards the road to Slaty Creek, which, after a time, I +succeeded in regaining. + +I had scarce got well upon the track, when I was confronted by a big +"black fellow," apparently beside himself with drink. + +As a general rule, the native blacks, seen roaming about the +_gold-fields_ of Victoria, are seldom guilty of malignant violence +towards the whites; but the man, whom it was now my misfortune to meet, +proved an exception to this rule: for the reason, no doubt, that he was +maddened with alcohol. + +As he approached me, I saw that he was brandishing a "waddy waddy," or +club. I strove to avoid him; but found, that although mad with drink, +he was active upon his limbs, and able to hinder me from making a +retreat. Had I attempted to run away, I should have been brought to a +stop--by a blow from his "waddy waddy." + +I saw that my best chance of safety would be in standing firm, and +defending myself. + +The fellow made two desperate lounges at me with his club, which, with +some difficulty, I managed to dodge--and all the while that he was +delivering his murderous assault, he kept shouting to me, in his native +gibberish--apparently making some important communication, but the +nature of which I had not the slightest idea. + +Just as I was beginning to consider the affair serious, and was +preparing to act on the offensive, the black made a third blow with his +waddy waddy. This I was unable, altogether, to avoid; and the club +struck heavily against one of my legs. + +Irritated by the pain produced, I could no longer control my temper; +and, grasping the crowbar with both hands, I aimed a blow at the black +fellow's head. + +I did not strike with the intention of killing the man. I only knew +that my life was in danger; and that I was suffering great pain from the +wound I had received. This, however, had irritated me beyond the power +of controlling myself; and, no doubt, my whole strength was given to the +stroke. + +The crowbar descended upon the black fellow's naked crown; and never +shall I forget the horrible sound made by the crashing in of his skull. +It was not only horrible, but sickening; and for a moment, completely +unmanned me. It was not the mere thought, that I had broken a man's +head, that unmanned me, for I had both witnessed, and taken part, in +many a sanguinary scene before that--without feeling any such remorseful +emotion. It was the horrid sound--caused by the crashing in of his +skull--that not only overcame me, but, for a time, rendered me faint, +sick, and disgusted with the world, and all it contained. + +That sound echoed in my ears for hours afterwards; and, ever since that +time, I have carefully avoided being near any place where a "free fight" +was about to take place--lest it might be my misfortune to hear a +similar sound. + +The day after, it was reported, that the blacks were entertaining +themselves with a funeral. I did not learn the particulars of the +ceremony; but, presume it was similar to a funeral I had witnessed among +a tribe of the same people on Fryer's Creek, in July, 1853. One of +their number had been killed, by another of the tribe; and, on the next +day, I was present at the performance of their funeral rites, over the +remains of the murdered man. + +A grave was dug, about five feet deep--into which the body was lowered, +and a sheet of bark laid over it. The earth was then filled in; and +while this was being done, by one man, two others stood inside the +grave, stamping upon the dirt, and treading it down, as firm as they +could make it! + +What could have been their object in thus _packing_ the dead body, I +never understood, unless it was done, under the impression, that the +corpse might come to life again, without this precaution being taken to +keep it under ground! + +Volume Three, Chapter II. + +FARRELL AND HIS WIFE, ONCE MORE. + +Three weeks "prospecting," at Slaty Creek, convinced me that it was not +the place for a gold-digger to make his fortune, without the severest +labour; and for this reason, I left it--returning to Ballarat. + +On arriving at the latter place, I went to see my old Californian +acquaintance, Farrell. The instant I set eyes on him, and he on me, his +features plainly proclaimed that he had something to tell me, which he +deemed very amusing. + +"Farrell," said I, "you are working a rich claim; I see fortune written +on your face." + +"Nothing of the kind," he answered; "I have just finished a tolerable +spell of digging, it is true; and shall start for home to-morrow. But +it ain't that; I have better news still." + +"Better news? What can it be!" + +"I've seen Foster, and my wife. Ha! ha! they've been living in sight of +my tent for the last four months; and I never knew they were there until +two days ago!" + +"Then you have seen Foster?" + +"Certainly, I have!" + +"What did you do to him?" + +"Nothing. Fate is giving me all the revenge I want; and I would not +interfere with her designs--not for the world. In saying that Foster is +the most miserable object I've seen for many years. I speak only the +truth. He has a rheumatic fever, and hasn't been able to stir out of +his tent for six weeks. He will probably never go out of it again--that +is, alive. Now, I call that fun; isn't it?" + +"Not much for Foster, I should think. But how came you to find them?" + +"I was in my tent, one morning, when I heard a woman talking to my +partner, who happened to be outside just by the door. The woman was +wanting to get some washing to do. She said, that her husband had been +a long time ill; and that they hadn't a shilling to live upon. I +thought her voice sounded familiar to me; and, taking a peep out of the +tent, I saw at once it was my runaway wife! I waited till she walked +away; and then, slipping out, I followed her to her own tent. She went +inside, without seeing me; and then I stepped in after her, and stood +quietly surveying the guilty pair. + +"My wife went off into a fit of `highstrikes,' while Foster lay +trembling, like a craven, expecting every moment to be killed. `Don't +be frightened,' said I, `I haven't the slightest intention to put you +out of your misery. I like revenge too well for that. You have some +more trouble to see yet, I hope; and I'm not going to do anything that +might hinder you from seeing it. + +"I waited till my wife became sufficiently composed to comprehend what +was going on; and then, after thanking her for the kindness she had done +me--by relieving me of all further trouble with her--I bid them `good +day,' and walked off, leaving them to reflect upon the interview. + +"To-day, I have just been to visit them again; and the want and misery, +they appear to be suffering, gave me no little pleasure. They looked as +though they had not had a morsel to eat for a week; and I could not see +a scrap--of either bread or meat--in their tent. + +"I told them, not to give themselves any further uneasiness, on my +account, for I wasn't going to molest them any more. `I've made a +little fortune here,' said I, `and intend starting for New York State +to-morrow. Have you any message to send to your friends?' I asked of +Foster. The poor devil could not, or would not, make me a reply. `Have +_you_, Mary,' said I, turning to my wife. She could only answer with +sobs. `It is a miserable, wretched life, at the best, on these +diggings,' I remarked. I am going to leave it, and once more seek +happiness in my native land. Excuse me, Mr Foster, and you, Mrs F., +for not helping you in your distress. I know that there is an All-wise +Creator, who will reward both of you, as your conduct deserves; and it +would be presumptuous in me to take any of the work out of his hands. I +leave you here, with full confidence in the belief, that divine justice +will be impartially administered to all. + +"Now that was what I call good talking,--what do you say?" + +"Very good, indeed," I answered. "But are you really going to leave +them in that manner?" + +"Certainly, I am. I never intend to see either of them again. When I +was coming away from their tent, my wife followed me out, went down on +her knees, and piteously entreated me to aid her, in returning to her +parents. She declared, that she never knew my worth, until she had +foolishly lost me; and that she now loved me more than ever she had +done--my little finger, more than Foster's whole body--which it would +not have been difficult to make me believe. She said, she would not ask +me to let her live with me again; but, that if I would give her money to +return home, she would pass the remainder of her days in praying for me. + +"No, Mary," said I, "do not think so unjustly of me, as to suppose I +could do that. I love you too well, to stand in the way of your +receiving the reward you have deserved; and, besides, you should not +desert Forter, whom you have followed so far--now that the poor fellow +is in affliction. My affection for you is too sincere, to think of +allowing you to commit so great a wrong? + +"Having delivered this exordium, I turned and left her. Now that is +what I call revenge. What's your opinion?" + +"What is revenge to one man, may not be to another," was my answer. "If +it pleases you to act so, of course, I have nothing to say against it." + +"And what would _you_ do?" + +"I should give the woman some money, enough to enable her to return to +her parents. As for the man, I should leave him to his fate." + +"Then you would act very foolishly,--as I would, if I followed your +advice. The woman having got home, would be there to annoy me. I wish +to go back to my native place; and be happy there for the rest of my +days. How could that be--living along side a wife who had so disgraced +me?" + +I could say nothing more to dissuade Farrell from his purpose; and we +parted company--he shortly after starting for Melbourne, to take passage +for New York. + +The after-fate of his faithless wife, and her wretched paramour, some +other must record: for, from that hour, I never heard of either of them +again. + +Volume Three, Chapter III. + +THE RUSH TO AVOCA. + +After passing four or five days in looking about the Canadian, Eureka, +and Gravel-pits, "leads" on the Ballarat Gold-fields, and finding no +favourable opportunity of getting into a good claim, I determined to +proceed to Avoca river, for which place a big "rush" was just starting-- +that, by all accounts, would turn out a success. + +The day after I had formed this resolution, I saw a man with a horse and +dray, just departing for Avoca. + +The man was willing to take a light load of diggers' "swags;" and, +rolling up my tent and blankets, I put them upon his dray. + +The drayman did not succeed in getting all the freight he required: for +there was but one other digger besides myself, who furnished him with +anything to carry. As he, and a partner he had, were anxious to reach +the new gold-field as soon as possible, they determined to start, +without waiting to make up a load. + +All being ready, we set out at once for the "sweet vale of Avoca." + +The drayman's partner was a man known in the diggings, by the name of +"Bat." I had often seen "Bat," and was acquainted with two or three +other diggers, who knew him well. He was famed at Ballarat, for having +the largest mind of any man in the place; but it was also generally +known, that in his mind, the proportion of selfishness, to all other +feelings and faculties, was ninety-nine to one. + +The reason why Bat's soul was thought to be so large was, that, +otherwise it could not have contained the amount of disgusting +selfishness, which it daily exhibited. + +He was only miserly about spending money, that might result to the +benefit, or injury, of any one but himself. In the gratification of his +own desires, he was a thorough spendthrift. + +I had heard one of the miners tell a story, illustrative of Bat's +disposition. For amusement, the miner had made an experiment, to see, +to what extent, selfishness would, as he expressed it, "carry Bat on the +way to hell." + +He enticed this large-souled individual, to go with him on a "spree;" +upon which, he treated him five times in succession. + +Bat had by this time imbibed a strong desire for more drink; and after +waiting for some time for his companion to treat him again, he slipped +to one side, and took a drink alone--without asking the other to join +him. + +After this, the miner treated him twice more; and not long after, Bat +again drank alone, at his own expense! + +By this time both of them had become pretty well intoxicated; and the +spree came to a termination, by Bat's receiving a terrible thrashing +from the _convive_, who had been vainly tempting him to spend his money. + +Bat's mate, the drayman, knew but little about him--only having joined +him as a partner the evening before we started for the Avoca. + +On the first day of our journey, late in the afternoon, we arrived at a +roadside grog-shop; and all went in for something to drink. Inside the +house, were three ill-looking men, who had the appearance of having once +_lived in Van Dieman's Land_. The shop was a very colonial affair; and, +after drinking some poison, called rum, we all came out--leaving Bat +weighing some gold, which he had taken out of a leather bag, in presence +of all the company. It was to pay for a bottle of brandy, which, as we +were going to camp out for the night, he had purchased--for the purpose +of making himself comfortable. + +Darkness overtook us about a mile or so beyond the grog-shop; and water +being near the place, we resolved to stay by it for the night. + +Bat came up, just after we had kindled our fire; and drank some tea +along with us. He had brought with him two bottles of brandy, instead +of one, the second being for his mate, the drayman, who had commissioned +him to buy it for him. Seeing these two bottles of brandy in the camp, +I did not care about staying on the spot. I believed that the drayman, +Bat, and the other digger who accompanied them, would get drunk; and I +did not fancy to remain in their company. + +I took up my blankets; and, going about two hundred yards off from the +camp--to a grove of bushes--I rolled myself in my cover, and slept +soundly till the morning. + +At sunrise I awoke; and went back to rejoin my travelling companions. + +On drawing near the encampment, I saw that something was wrong; and I +hastened forward. Bat was not there, but the drayman was, and also the +digger. Both were tied with their hands behind their backs, and, +furthermore, fastened to the wheels of the dray. I saw that both of +them were gagged! + +I lost no time in releasing them from their unpleasant imprisonment; and +as soon as I had ungagged them, they told me what had happened. About +the middle of the night, four men had come up, armed with revolvers, +which they had held to the heads of the drayman and digger, while they +tied and gagged them. The two were then robbed of all their money, +after which, the bush-rangers went their way--taking along with them the +drayman's horse. + +"But where is Bat?" I asked. + +"We don't know," was the reply. "He went away soon after you did." + +Circumstances looked suspicious against Bat; but only to me: for the +others understood all that had happened. Bat had determined to keep his +bottle of brandy to himself. By remaining with the others, he could not +well drink it all without asking them to have a share, as he had already +been treated by his partner. To avoid doing so he had stolen away to +the bush, where he could drink his liquor alone. + +"The men who robbed us," said the disconsolate drayman, "could be no +others than them we saw in the grog-shop; and it was my mate Bat who +drew them on to us: for they seemed greatly disappointed, and swore +fearfully at not finding him. He flashed his gold-dust before them +yesterday; and, of course they came after us to get it. I wish they had +got every ounce of it. He deserved to be robbed for tempting them." + +"Have you lost much?" I asked, of the drayman. + +"No," answered he. "Luckily, I had not much to lose--only seventeen +pounds. But I care more about my old horse, for I've owned him over +three years." + +The digger had lost twelve pounds in cash, and a gold nugget of seven +ounces weight. + +While both were lamenting their mishap, Bat made his appearance from the +bush; and began finding fault with his mate, for not having breakfast +ready, and the horse harnessed for a start. The effects of the bottle +of brandy had only increased the disagreeable peculiarities of Bat's +character; and given him a good appetite. + +He was now told what had happened, which made him a little more amiable. +But his amiableness could be traced to the fact of his being conceited +of the swinish selfishness of which he had been guilty. He seemed +highly delighted to think he had had the good fortune to escape the +mischance that had befallen his companions; and, instead of sympathising +with them, he actually boasted of his luck, putting it forward as a +proof of his possessing more than ordinary sagacity. + +"Will you have a little brandy?" asked his mate, in a tone of voice that +told me the offer was not made in a friendly spirit. "There's a drop +left in my bottle, which, luckily, the bush-rangers did not get hold +of." + +"Of course I will," answered Bat. "Brandy is a thing I never refuse, +especially when on the road, and after camping out all night. Let's +have it." + +The drayman produced his bottle, along with his tin pannikin. The +former was about half full, and its contents were poured into the cup. + +When Bat reached forth his hand to take hold of the vessel, the brandy +was thrown into his face; and the next instant he himself fell heavily +to the earth--from the effects of a blow administered by the clenched +fist of the drayman! + +Bat rose to his feet, and tried to show fight; but no efforts he could +make, either offensive or defensive, hindered him from getting his +deserts. It was the first time I had ever been pleased at the sight of +one man punishing another. + +After getting a thorough thrashing from his irate partner, Bat took up +his blankets, and then started back along the road towards Ballarat-- +having, for some reason or other, changed his mind about going to Avoca. + +I paid the drayman what I had agreed to give him for taking my "swag;" +and, accompanied by the digger, who had been robbed along with him, I +continued my journey afoot--each of us carrying his own blankets and +tent. We left the poor drayman alone with his dray, in what the Yankees +call a "fix," for he dare not leave the vehicle, and the goods it +contained, to go in search of a horse, and without one it would be +impossible for him to transport his property from the place. + +I would have stopped along with him for a day or two, and lent him some +assistance, had it not been, that he was one of those unfortunate +creatures so often met in the Australian colonies, who seldom speak +without using some of the filthy language imported there from the slums +of London. For this reason I left him to get out of his difficulty the +best way he could; and, for all I know to the contrary, he is still +keeping guard over his dray, and the miscellaneous lading it contained. + +Volume Three, Chapter IV. + +THE "SWEET VALE OF AVOCA." + +We arrived near the Avoca diggings late in the afternoon. Seeing a good +spot for pitching a tent, my companion stopped, and proposed that we +should go no further: as that place was exactly suited to his mind. + +"All right," said I. "If it suits you--you had better stay there." + +While the digger was disencumbering himself of his load, I walked on. I +did so, because my travelling companion was a man whose acquaintance I +did not care to cultivate any further. I did not take the trouble to +satisfy myself of any reason for leaving him in this unceremonious +manner. I only knew that I did not like his society; and, therefore, +did not desire to pitch my tent near him--lest I might have more of it. + +My principle objection to remaining with the man was this. I had formed +an idea, that nothing was to be gained from him--neither knowledge, +amusement, friendship, money, nor anything else--unless, perhaps, it +might have been, a worse opinion of mankind; and this of itself, was +just ground for my giving him the good-bye. + +After going a little farther on, I pitched my tent in a place I made +choice for myself. + +Next morning I walked forth, to have a look at the new gold-field. + +There are not many spectacles more interesting to the miner, than that +termed a "rush" to a gold-field newly discovered, and reported to be +"rich." + +The scene is one of the greatest excitement. On the ground to which the +"rush" is directed, all the vices and amusements to be met with in large +cities, soon make their appearance. Where, perhaps, a month before, not +a human being could have been seen, taverns, with magnificent interior +decorations, billiard-rooms, bowling-alleys, rifle-galleries, theatres, +and dancing-saloons, will be erected; in short, a city, where, but a few +weeks ago, there was nothing but the "howling" wilderness! + +On my arrival at the Avoca diggings, I marked out a "claim," and for +several days my occupation was that of "shepherding" it. + +To "shepherd a claim," is to keep possession of, and merely retain it-- +until, by the working of other claims near, a tolerably correct opinion +may be formed: as to whether yours will be worth digging or not. + +The system of shepherding claims, is only practised where the gold lies +some distance below the surface; and where the claim can only be +prospected at the expense of some money and trouble. + +The claim I had marked out, was a large one--larger in extent than one +person was entitled to hold. For this reason, on the third day, after I +had taken possession of it, another man bespoke a share in it along with +me. + +I did not like the look of this man; and would have objected to working +with him; but he would not consent to divide the ground; and the only +way I could get clear of him was, to yield up the claim altogether. +This I did not wish to do: for it stood, or rather "lay," in a good +position for being "on the lead." + +I have said that I did not like the look of the intruder. This dislike +to him arose, from the circumstance of his having a strong "Vandemonian +expression" of countenance; and I had a great prejudice against those +who, in the colonies, are called "old lags." + +We "shepherded" the claim together for a few days, when the prospect of +its being on the lead, became so fair, that we at length commenced +sinking a shaft. + +The more I saw of my companion, while we were toiling together, the +weaker grew my aversion to him; until, at length, I began to entertain +for him a certain feeling of respect. This increased, as we became +better acquainted. + +I learnt that he was not from Tasmania, but from New South Wales; and my +prejudice against the "Sydneyites" was even stronger (having been formed +in California,) than against the "old hands" from Van Dieman's Land. + +The "Vandemonians," generally speaking, have some good traits about +them, that are seldom met amongst those from the "Sydney side." The +convicts from the former place, have more generosity in their +wickedness, less disposition to turn approvers on their companions in +crime, while at the same time, they display more manliness and daring in +their misdeeds, than do the "Sydney birds." + +One would think, there could not be much difference between the +criminals of the two colonies: since both originally come from the same +school; but the characteristics distinguishing classes of +_transportees_, change with the circumstances into which they may be +thrown. + +My new partner proved to be like few of the "downey coves" I had +encountered in the diggings: for I found in him, a man possessing many +good principles, from which he could not be easily tempted to depart. + +He did not deny having been a convict, though, on the other hand--unlike +most of his class--he never boasted of it. + +"Drinks all round," can usually be won from an old convict in the +following manner:-- + +Offer to lay a wager, that you can tell for what crime he had been +transported; and as his own word is generally the only evidence to be +obtained for deciding the wager, ten to one it will be accepted. Tell +him then: that he was "lagged for poaching," and he will immediately +acknowledge that he has lost, and cheerfully pay for the "drinks all +round." + +This game could not have been played with the subject of my sketch: +since he freely acknowledged the crime for which he had been +transported: it was for killing a policeman. + +One evening, as we sate in our tent, he related to me the story of his +life; but, before giving it to my readers, I must treat them to a little +explanation. + +This narrative is entitled the "Adventures of a Rolling Stone," and such +being its title, there may be a complaint of its inappropriateness: +because it also details the adventures of others. But part of the +occupation of the hero, has been to observe what was going on around +him; and, therefore, a faithful account, not only of what he did, but +what he saw and heard--or in any way learnt--should be included in a +true narrative of his adventures. Hearing a man relate the particulars +of his past life, was to the "Rolling Stone," an event in his own +history; and, therefore, has he recorded it. + +The reality of what is here written may be doubted; and the question +will be asked:--how it was, that nearly every man who came in contact +with the "Rolling Stone," had a history to relate, and also related it? + +The answer may be found in the following explanation:-- + +A majority of the men met with on the gold-fields of California and +Australia, are universally, or at least generally, unlike those they +have left behind them in the lands of their birth. Most gold-diggers +are men of character, of some kind or other; and have, through their +follies or misfortunes, made for themselves a history. There will +almost always be found some passage of interest in the story of their +lives--often in the event itself, which has forced them into exile, and +caused them to wander thousands of miles away from their homes and their +friends. + +When it is further remembered: that the principle amusement of the most +respectable of the gold-diggers, is that of holding social converse in +their tents, or around their evening camp-fires, it will appear less +strange, that amongst so many "men of character" one should become +acquainted with not a few "romances of real life"--such as that of the +"Vandemonian" who became my associate in the "sweet vale of Avoca," and +which is here recorded, as one of many a "convict's story," of which I +have been the confidant. + +Volume Three, Chapter V. + +A CONVICT'S STORY. + +"You have expressed a desire to hear the story of my life," said my +mining partner. "I make you welcome to it. There is not much of my +history that I should be ashamed to tell you of; but with that little I +shall not trouble you. I have never done anything very bad,--that is, I +have never robbed anybody, nor stolen anything that I did not really +want. + +"I am a native of Birmingham, in which town I resided until I was about +twenty years of age. + +"My father was a confirmed drunkard; and the little money he used to +earn by working as a journeyman cutler, was pretty certain to be spent +in gin. + +"The support of himself, and four young children fell upon my mother, +myself, and a brother--who was one year younger than I. In all +Birmingham, there were not two boys more dutiful to their parents, more +kind to their younger brothers and sisters, more industrious, and less +selfish, than my brother and myself--at the time I am speaking of. + +"Our hours were wholly occupied in doing all we could, to supply the +wants of my father's family. + +"We sometimes attended an evening school. There we learnt to read and +write; but even the time devoted to this, we would have considered as +squandered, if we could have been doing anything else--to benefit the +unfortunate family to which we belonged. + +"One evening, after we had got to be grown up to manhood, my younger +brother and I were returning from our work, when we saw our father at +some distance off, in the middle of the street. We saw that he was +intoxicated. Three policemen were around him--two of them with hands +upon him. + +"As usual with my father on such occasions, he was refractory; and the +policemen were handling him in a very rough manner. One of them had +struck him on the head with his baton, and my father's face was covered +with blood. + +"My brother and I ran up, and offered to take him quietly home--if the +policemen would allow us to do so; but as he had assaulted them, and +torn their clothes, they refused to let us have him, and insisted in +locking him up. My brother and I, then offered to take him to the +lock-up ourselves; and, taking him by the hand, I entreated him to go +quietly along with us. + +"The policeman rudely pushed me aside, again collared my father, and +commenced dragging him onward. Once more we interfered--though this +time, only to entice our father to go with the policemen, without making +any resistance. + +"At that moment, one of the constables shouted `a rescue;' and the +three, without further provocation, commenced an assault upon my brother +and myself. + +"One of them seized me by the throat; and struck me several times on the +head with his baton. We struggled awhile, and then both fell to the +ground. I turned my head, while trying to get up again, and saw my +brother lying on the pavement, with his face covered all over with +blood. The policeman, who had fallen with me, still retained his clutch +upon my throat; and again commenced beating me as soon as we had both +recovered our feet. A loose stone, weighing about ten pounds, was lying +upon the pavement. I seized hold of it, and struck my antagonist on the +forehead. He fell like a bullock. When I looked around, I saw that my +father--who was a very powerful man--had conquered the other two +policemen. He seemed suddenly to have recovered from his intoxication; +and now helped me to carry the constable I had felled, to the nearest +public-house--where the man died a few hours after the affray. + +"I was tried for manslaughter; and sentenced to ten years +transportation. + +"Not until then, did evil thoughts ever make their home in my mind. + +"Up till the time I was torn from my relatives--for whom I had a great +affection--and from the girl whom I fondly loved, I am willing to be +responsible to God and man, for every thought I had, or every act I did. +Ever since, having been deprived of liberty--dragged from all near and +dear--with every social tie broken--and robbed of everything for which I +cared to live--I do not think myself to blame for anything I may have +done. I have been only a link in a chain of circumstances--a victim of +the transportation system of England, that transforms incipient crime +into hardened villainy. + +"On arriving in New South Wales, I was placed in a gang with other +convicts; and put to the business of pushing a wheel-barrow. We were +employed in removing a hill, from the place where nature had set it: for +no other reason, I believe, than for the purpose of keeping us from +being idle! The labour was not severe; but the life was a very weary +one. It was not the work that made it so to me. I was used to work, +and did not dislike it, if there had been any sense in the task we had +to perform. But I had no more idea of what my labour was for, than the +wheel-barrow with which I performed it; and therefore I could feel no +more interest in the work, than did the barrow itself. + +"My toil was not sweetened with the reflection that it was in behalf of +those I loved. On the contrary, I knew that the best years of my life +were being uselessly squandered, while my mother and her children were +perhaps suffering for food! + +"I often asked myself the question: why I had been sent from home? It +could not have been to reform me, and make me lead a better life, after +the expiration of the term for which I had been sentenced. It could not +have been for that: for no youth could have been more innocent of all +evil intentions than I was, up to the time of my unfortunate affair with +the policeman. All the philosophers of earth could not devise a scheme +better adapted to corrupt the morals of a young man--make him forget all +the good he had ever learnt--harden his soul against all the better +feelings of human nature--and transform him from a weak frail mortal, +with good intentions, into a very demon--than the transportation system +of England. + +"From the age of twenty years, until that of thirty, I consider the most +valuable part of a man's existence; and as this whole period was taken +from me, I naturally regarded the future of my life, as scarce worth +possessing. I became recklessly indifferent as to what my actions might +be; and from that time they were wholly guided by the circumstances of +the hour. + +"Each month, I either heard, or saw, something calculated to conduct me +still further along the path of crime. I do not say that all my +companions were bad men; but most of them were: since my daily +associates were thieves, and men guilty of crimes even worse than theft +I am willing to acknowledge--which is more than some of them would do-- +that the fact of their being convicts was strong evidence of their being +wicked men. + +"After having spent nearly a year, between the trams of the wheel-barrow +in the neighbourhood of Sydney, I was despatched with a gang to do some +labourer's work up the country. + +"Most of the men in this gang, were wickeder than those, with whom I had +previously been associated. This was perhaps owing to the fact that my +new companions had been longer abroad, and were of course better trained +to the transportation system. + +"Some of them were suffering great agony through the want of tobacco and +strong drink, in both of which--being many of them `ticket-of-leave' +holders--they had lately had a chance of freely indulging. That you may +know something of the character of these men, and of the craving they +had for tobacco, I shall tell you what I saw some of them do. + +"Many of the wardens--as is usually the case--were greatly disliked by +the convicts; and the latter, of course, took every opportunity of +showing their hatred towards them. + +"One morning, the gang refused to go to work--owing to a part of the +usual allowance of food having been stopped from one of them, as they +said, for no good reason. The overseer, in place of sending for the +superintendent, attempted to force them to their tasks; and the result +was a `row.' + +"In the skrimmage that followed, one of the wardens--a man especially +disliked by the convicts--was killed, while the overseer himself was +carried senseless from the ground. + +"The dead warden had been a sailor, and liked his `quid.' He was +generally to be seen with his mouth full of tobacco, and this was the +case at the time he was killed. I saw the quid taken from his mouth, +scarce ten minutes after he had become a corpse, by one of the convicts, +who the instant after transferred it to his own! + +"The overseer, at the time he got knocked down, was smoking a pipe. +Scarce three minutes after, I saw the same pipe in the mouth of one of +the men; and from its head was rolling a thick cloud of smoke! + +"The fire in the pipe had not been allowed to expire; and the man who +was smoking it was one of those afterwards hung for the murder of the +warden!" + +Volume Three, Chapter VI. + +SQUATTERS' JUSTICE. + +The old convict, as if reminded by the queer incidents he had related: +that he himself stood in need of a smoke, here took out his pipe. After +filling and lighting it, he resumed his narrative. + +"Owing to refractory conduct on my part, and a dislike to crawling for +the purpose of currying favour with overseers, I did not get a +`ticket-of-leave' until five years after landing in the colony. + +"I then received one--with permission to go as shepherd to a `squatter's +station' up the country. For acting in this capacity, I was to receive +ten pounds a year of wages. + +"I found the shepherd's life a very weary one. The labour was not +sufficient to keep me from thinking. During the whole day I had but +little to do--except to indulge in regrets for the past, and despair of +the future. Each day was so much like the one preceding it, that the +time was not only monotonous, but terribly tiresome. + +"Had I deserted my employment, I knew that I should be re-captured; and +a new sentence passed upon me. My only hope of obtaining full freedom-- +at the end of my ten years' term--was by doing my duty as well as I +could. + +"One morning, after I had been about ten months in my shepherd's berth, +as I was letting the sheep out of the enclosure, the squatter who owned +the station, his overseer, and another man, came riding up. + +"The sun was more than half an hour above the horizon; and as I ought to +have had the sheep out upon the grass by sunrise, I was afraid the +squatter would blame me for neglecting my duty. I was agreeably +surprised at his not doing so. + +"He bade me `good morning,' lit his pipe, took a look at the sheep; and +then rode away along with the others. + +"This treatment, instead of making me more neglectful, only rendered me +more attentive to my duty; and every morning for three weeks after, the +sheep were out of the yard by the first appearance of day-break. + +"It was summer time, and the nights being very short, I could not always +wake myself at such an early hour. The consequence was, that about +three weeks before the expiration of the year, for which I was bound, my +employer again caught me napping--nearly an hour after sun-up--with the +sheep still in the penn. + +"The squatter would listen to no excuse. I was taken direct before a +magistrate--who was also a `squatter'--and charged with neglect of duty. + +"The charge was of course proved; and I was dismissed from my +employment. + +"You may think that this was no punishment; but you will have a +different opinion when you hear more. My year of apprenticeship not +being quite up, my wages were forfeited; and I was told, that I ought to +be thankful for the mercy shown me: in my not getting severely flogged, +and sent back to the authorities, with a black mark against my name! + +"I probably did my duty, as well as any man the squatter expected to +get; and I had good reason to know, that I had been dismissed only to +give my rascally employer the opportunity of withholding the balance of +my wages, that would soon have been due to me! + +"The only magistrates in the grazing country, were the squatters +themselves; and they used to play into each other's hands in that +fashion. There was no justice for convicts, who were treated but little +better than slaves. + +"Three months after leaving my situation, I came across an `old hand,' +who had been cheated out of his wages, by the very same squatter who had +robbed me, and in precisely the same manner. + +"This man proposed to me that we should take revenge--by burning down +the squatter's wool-sheds. + +"I refused to have anything to do with the undertaking; and from what +the man then said, I supposed that he had relinquished the idea. That +night, however, altogether unknown to me, he set fire to the sheds-- +causing the squatter a loss of about three thousand pounds worth of +property. The next day I was arrested and committed for trial--along +with the old hand, who had urged me to aid him in obtaining his revenge. + +"On the trial, circumstantial evidence was so strong against the +incendiary, that he was found guilty. But as he continued to assert his +innocence, of course he could say nothing that would clear me; and I was +also found guilty--though the only evidence against me was, that I had +been seen in his company eight hours before the crime was committed, and +that I had been dismissed from service by the proprietor of the sheds! + +"This was thought sufficient evidence upon which to sentence me to five +years hard labour on the roads--the first two years of the term to be +passed in irons! + +"I now despaired of ever seeing home again; and became, like many other +convicts, so reckless as to have no thought for the future, and not to +care whether my deeds were right or wrong. + +"Had I acted as many of the very worst convicts are in the habit of +doing--that is, fawning upon the overseers--I might have regained my +liberty in two years and a half; but I never could crawl, or play the +hypocrite; and all the less so, that I knew my sentence was unjust. +Neither could I allow the ill-usage of others to pass without complaint; +and frequently did I complain. For doing this, I had to serve the full +term of my sentence, while others, much worse than myself, by using a +little deception, obtained their liberty on `tickets-of-leave.' + +"After the term of my transportation had expired, I was no better than +most of the `old hands.' If I have not committed all the crimes of +which many of them are guilty, the reason is, that I had not the +temptation: for, I acknowledge, that I have now completely lost the +moral power to restrain me from crime. + +"I happened to be free when gold was discovered in New South Wales; and, +of course. I hastened to the place. After the discovery of the richer +diggings here, I came overland to try them. + +"In my gold seeking, I cannot complain of want of success; and I have +not spent all that I have made. + +"I am thinking of going back to England--although my visit to my native +country cannot be a very pleasant one. I have, probably, some brothers +and sisters still living; but, notwithstanding the strong affection I +once had for them, they are nothing to me now. All human feeling has +been flogged, starved, and tortured out of me. + +"Sometimes, when I reflect on the degradations I have endured, I am +ashamed to think of myself as a human being. + +"When I look back to the innocent and happy days of my boyhood--of what +I aspired to be--only an honest, respectable, hard-working man, when I +contrast those days, and those humble hopes, with the scenes I have +since passed through, and my present condition--my back scarred with +repeated floggings, and my limbs marked by the wear of iron fetters--I +am not unwilling to die. + +"I am glad to learn that a change has been made in the mode of punishing +crime in the mother country. It has not been done too soon: for, bad as +many of the convicts are--who are transported from the large cities of +the United Kingdom--they cannot be otherwise than made worse, by the +system followed here. A convict coming to this country meets with no +associations, precepts, or examples, that tend to reform him; but, on +the contrary, every evil passion and propensity is strengthened, if it +has existed before; and imbibed, if it has not. + +"Having told you a good deal of my past, I should like to be able to add +something of my future; but cannot. Some men are very ingenious in +inventing food for hope: I am not. I don't know for what I am living: +for every good and earnest motive seems to have been stifled within me. +Hope, love, despair, revenge, and all the other mental powers that move +man to action, are dead within my heart. I having nothing more to tell +you of myself; and probably never shall have." + +So ended the sad story of the convict. + +Volume Three, Chapter VII. + +RAFFLING AWAY A WIFE. + +Our claim on the Avoca "lead" turned out to be worth working; and we had +five or six weeks of hard toil before us. My mate continued temperate +and industrious; and we got along together without any misunderstanding. + +One day we were informed by a man passing our tent, that a very +interesting affair was to come off that evening--at a certain grog-shop +not far from where we lived. + +My partner was strongly advised to be there: as there would be a +spectacle worth witnessing. + +"Shall you go?" I asked, after the man had gone. + +"No--not alone," replied he, "the place has a bad name; and I know that +one of the parties concerned in what is to take place is a bad bird. +You go along with me, and you'll see some amusement." + +"Have you any idea what it's to be?" I inquired. + +"Yes. I think they are going to have a raffle." + +"A raffle! There's nothing very interesting about that!" + +"That depends," significantly rejoined my partner. "Supposing it is a +woman that's to be raffled for?" + +"A woman to be raffled for!" + +"So I believe. There is a Hobart Town man here, who has a young wife, +with whom he has been quarrelling for the last month. He has found out +that it is impossible to live with her any longer; and is going to put +her up to be raffled for." + +I had seen a negro slave disposed of in this fashion in the city of New +Orleans; but had never heard of a man raffling away his wife; and the +oddness of the thing determined me to go. Having signified my intention +to my mate, he promised to take me to the place, and also take care of +me while there. + +The reader may think his promised protection unnecessary--after my +having managed for so many years to take care of myself. But I knew +that amongst "old hands," the protection or friendship, of one of their +own "kidney" was worth having; and I certainly would not have gone, +without some one to introduce, and look after me--one such as my mining +partner, who knew their ways, and would give them to understand, that I +was not to be molested. + +At that time on the gold-field of Avoca, there were probably about ten +men to one woman; and a man, who was so fortunate as to possess a wife, +was thought to be a very lucky individual indeed. Any woman, however +ugly she might have appeared in other lands, would there have passed for +a Venus. Knowing this to be the state of things, I was not surprised, +when, on reaching the grog-shop with my companion, we found a large +crowd of between thirty and forty men assembled around it. In one way +only was I astonished; and that was, that the majority of those present +were not "old hands," but rather the contrary. + +This observation was also made by my companion, who shook his head +significantly, but said nothing. + +I did not understand what meaning he intended to convey by this +gesture--at least not at the time. + +From the appearance of the crowd collected round the grog-shop, I had no +doubt but that I should be well rewarded for my trouble in walking to +the place. I could see that some pains had been taken in selecting the +company: for it appeared to be composed of that class of young miners-- +known as "fast," and "flush"--that is with money to spend, and the +disposition to spend it. + +The woman who was to be disposed of was in the room, seated on the edge +of a table, and swinging her legs about with perfect nonchalance. One +of her eyes bore, in distinct characters of a purplish hue, some +evidence of a very late disagreement with her husband, or some one else. +She seemed much pleased at the commotion she was causing; and quite +indifferent as to its results. She was about twenty-three years of age; +and rather good-looking. + +The husband was about forty years old; and was a vulgar looking wretch-- +even for a "Vandemonian." His features were twisted into a disgusting +leer, from which I could well fancy they were but seldom relieved. + +I was not surprised at the woman seeming pleased at the idea of parting +with him. My wonder was, how he had ever been allowed to obtain the +power of disposing of her. + +There was not a man in the room, or perhaps on the diggings, that any +creature entitled to the name of woman, should not have preferred, to +the ugly animal who claimed to be her husband. + +I could perceive from the woman's behaviour, that she possessed a +violent temper, which to an ignorant brute of a man, would no doubt +render her difficult of being managed. But there appeared to be nothing +more against her--at least, nothing to prevent a man of common sense +from living with her, and having no more serious misunderstandings, than +such as are usually required to vary the monotony of connubial life. + +The business of getting up the raffle, and carrying it through, was +managed by a young man, who played the part of mutual friend--the +proprietor of the article at stake, being to all appearance too drunk, +or too ignorant, to act as master of the ceremonies. + +After a sufficient number of persons was thought to have arrived upon +the ground, it was decided to go on with the business of discovering: to +whom fate should decree the future ownership of the woman. + +"Gentlemen!" said the mutual friend, rising up, and placing himself upon +a chair, "I suppose you all know the game that's up here to-night? I +believe that most of you be aware, that my friend `Brumming' here, can't +agree with his old woman, nor she with him; and he have come to the +resolution of getting rid of her. He thinks he'd be better off without +a woman, than with one, 'specially with one as he can't agree with. And +she thinks any other man be better than Ned `Brumming.' Such being the +case, they think they had better part. Now, `Brumming' wants a little +money to take him over to the other side; and to rise it for him, his +friends have been called together, and his woman is going to be put up +at a raffle for fifty pounds--twenty-five chances at two pounds a +chance. Mrs Brumming is willing to live with any man, as will support +her, and use her kindly. Who is going to help poor Ned Brumming? What +name shall I first put down on this 'ere paper?" + +"Dirty Dick," "Jack Rag," "Hell Fryer," "Shiny Bright," and several +other names were called out--to the number of twenty. + +It was then announced that five names were still wanted to complete the +list. + +"I'll take a chance," said a man stepping forward to the table, where +the names were being written out. + +The individual thus presenting himself, bore every evidence of having +obtained a passage to the colonies at the expense of his native +country--about twenty-five years before. + +"What name shall I put down?" asked the youthful master of the +ceremonies. + +"Jimmy from Town." + +"Jimmy from hell!" screamed the woman. "You had better save your money +Jimmy from Town. I wouldn't live with an old beast like you, if you +were to win me ten times over." + +The prospect of losing his two pounds, and gaining nothing, caused the +old convict to retire, which he did, apparently with no very good grace. + +"We must pay something for this entertainment," whispered my mate; "I +will go halves with you in a chance." + +As he said this, he slipped a sovereign into my hand. + +I did not fully understand what my partner meant. He surely could not +be thinking of our winning the woman, and owning her in partnership, as +we did our mining claim? + +But as he had said something about our paying for the entertainment--and +having trusted myself to him before I came away from my tent--I gave the +name of "Rolly," to the manager of the raffle, and put down the two +pounds. + +Two others then came forward, took a chance each, and paid their stakes. +There were now only two more "tickets" to dispose of. + +Amongst the first who had entered their name upon the list, was a young +miner, who to all appearance, took a greater interest in the proceedings +than any person present. + +I saw the woman give him a glance, that might be interpreted into the +words, "I wish _you_ would win me." He appeared to notice it, and take +the hint: for he immediately entered himself for another chance. + +The remaining share was then taken by somebody else; and the ceremony of +throwing the dice was commenced. + +Each was to have three throws, taking three dice at each throw; and the +man who should score the highest number, was to win the woman. + +A name would be called out, as it stood on the list; the owner of it +would then come forward, and throw the dice--when the number he should +score would be recorded against his name. + +All the numbers made, chanced to be very low, none of them reaching over +thirty-eight--until I had finished "tossing the bones," when I was told +that the aggregate recorded in my favour was _forty-seven_. + +I felt as good as certain that the woman was mine: for the chances were +more than a hundred to one against any of the five others who were to +throw after me. + +The young fellow who had paid for two shares, looked very blank: his +remaining chance was now scarce worth a shilling. + +"I will give you fifteen pounds for your throw," said he, addressing +himself to me. + +I glanced at my mate, and saw him give his head a slight inclination: as +a sign for me to accept the offer--which I did. + +The money was paid down; and after all had finished tossing, number +forty-seven was declared the winner. This had been my score. The +woman, therefore, belonged to the young man, who had bought it from me. +She was at once handed over to him; and inaugurated the "nuptials" by +flinging her arms around his neck, and giving him a sonorous "buss" upon +the cheek! + +After we came away from the place, I learnt from my mate, that the +affair was what he called "a sell." + +"Then why did you propose that we should take a chance?" I asked. + +"Why," he replied, with a significant shrug, "well, I'll tell you. I +was told to come to the raffle, because I was working with you--who they +thought would be likely to take a share. Had you not taken one, they +would have supposed that I had cautioned you not to do so; and I should +have made enemies amongst some of the old hands--who look upon me as, +being in all things, one of themselves." + +"And you think that the woman will not live with the young man who won +her?" + +"I'm sure of it. She'll go along with him for awhile; but she won't +stay with him. She'll run away from him--join, Brumming, again--and the +two will repeat the same dodge at some other diggings." + +I divided the fifteen pounds with my partner; and retired to my tent-- +well pleased that I had so disposed of my chance, and no little amused +at the grotesque chapter of "life on the Avoca," it had been my fortune +to be witness to. + +A few weeks after the occurrence, I read in a newspaper: that the police +on the Bendigo diggings had arrested a man for trying to dispose of his +wife by a raffle; and I have no doubt that the man was "poor old Ned +Brumming!" + +Volume Three, Chapter VIII. + +CAUGHT IN HIS OWN TRAP. + +A "claim," adjoining the one in which my partner and I were working, was +much richer than ours. The primitive rock lay farther below the +surface--showing that there had been a basin in the creek, or river, +that hundreds of years before had flowed over the "vale of Avoca." + +In this basin had been deposited a great quantity of earth containing +gold: for the soil was thickly impregnated with the precious metal. + +This claim was owned by three men. Two of them appeared to be +respectable young fellows; and I incidentally learnt from them, that +they had been playmates in boyhood, shipmates on their voyage to the +colony, and had worked together ever since their arrival at the +diggings. An old convict was the third partner of these two young men. +He had first marked out the claim, and for a while kept sole possession +of it; but, seeing that he would be unable to manage it by himself, he +had allowed the other two to take shares in it. + +They had joined the convict only for that one job; and had done so, +because they could not find any other favourable opportunity for +"getting on the line." + +One day, when I was standing by at the windlass of our own shaft, I saw +the old convict come towards his claim--apparently after having been to +his dinner. + +I had observed one of the young men let himself down the shaft, but a +few minutes before. Soon after, I heard his voice from below calling to +the convict--who had placed himself by the windlass, after his arrival. +I then saw the latter lower the rope, and hoist the young man to the +surface. The old convict was then lowered down; and, as soon as he had +detached himself from the rope below, I noticed that the young man +hastily drew it up and in a manner that betrayed some extraordinary +excitement. + +"Hoist up your mate, and bring him here," he called to me. "Quick! +I've something terrible to tell you of." + +I called to my partner to get on the tackle; and, as soon as he had done +so, I drew him up out of the shaft. + +While I was doing this, the young man who had called to me, summoned +some others in the same manner; and five or six men who chanced to be +near, hastened up to the spot. + +As soon as we were assembled around him, the young fellow began: + +"I have a strange story to tell you all," said he. "My friend has been +murdered; and the man who has committed the crime is below. We have him +sure. Will some one go to the `camp' for the police? I shall not leave +this spot, till I see the murderer in their custody, or see him dead." + +The commotion, caused by this startling announcement, brought several +others to the place; and a crowd was soon collected around the claim. +Two or three started off for the police encampment. + +While waiting for their return, the young man, who had called us around +him, gave an explanation of his conduct in having summoned us thus +strangely. + +"I came up out of the shaft," said he, "about half-past eleven o'clock; +and went home to cook dinner for myself and my friend. I left him along +with our other mate--the murderer--who is now below, at work, stowing +away some of the pipe-clay that we had finished working with. I +expected him to follow me to his dinner in about half-an-hour after. I +waited for him till nearly one; and as he did not come, I ate my dinner +alone, and then returned here to go on with the work. + +"When I came back, I could see no one. I called down the shaft, +thinking both were below. + +"As there was no answer, I let myself down by the rope, intending to go +to work by myself. I supposed that my mates had strayed off to some +grog-shop--where they might spend a good part of the afternoon. They +had done this once before; and I thought they might do it again. + +"After getting below, I lit the candle; and looked about to see what +they had been doing, since I left them at eleven o'clock. + +"The first thing that met my eyes, was the toe of a boot sticking out of +the pipe-clay--where we had been stowing it away, in the worked-out part +of the shaft. What, thought I, is their object in burying the boot +there? + +"I took hold of it--there was just enough of it protruding out of the +pipe-clay to enable me to get a grasp of it. I felt that there was a +foot in it. It was a boot belonging to my friend. I knew it-- +notwithstanding its being plastered over with the clay. I drew out the +boot; and along with it the body of the man to whom it belonged. He was +dead! I think it is probable he was not quite dead, when covered up; +and that in his death-spasm he had somehow moved his foot, causing it to +protrude a little out of the clay. + +"I have no doubt," continued the young miner, "that my seeing that boot +has saved my own life: for the man who has murdered my friend, would +have served me in the same way, had we both been down below, and I +ignorant of what he had already done. + +"Just as I was about climbing up the rope to get out, I saw the man who +is now below here, preparing to let himself down. I called to him, in +my natural tone of voice; and told him that I wanted to go above for a +minute--to get a drink. This, no doubt, put him off his guard; and he +helped me up. + +"I then asked him what had become of Bill--that was my friend's name. + +"`He did not come home to dinner,' said I, `and he is not below.' + +"`When we came up to go to dinner,' said he, `and were about starting +away from here, I saw Bill meet a stranger, and shake hands with him. +They went off together.' + +"I suggested that he might probably have strayed off upon a spree; and +that we were not likely to get any more work out of him that day. I +added, that, after I had had my drink, we could both go below, and work +without him. This seemed to please my other partner--who at once +desired to be let down into the shaft. + +"I lowered him at his request--telling him I should follow soon after. + +"He and his victim are now in the shaft. Had he succeeded in killing +both of us, he would not only have got all the gold we had obtained in +the claim, but some more besides." This story excited in the minds of +all present, a feeling of horror, joined to a keen desire for +retribution. Several shouted out to the old convict--commanding him to +come up; that his crime was known, and escape would be impossible. + +The murderer must have heard every word; but no answer was returned +either to the threats or commands of those above. There was no occasion +for the latter, either to be in haste, or in any way uneasy about the +man making his escape. He could not possibly get clear from the trap, +into which his partner had so adroitly cajoled him. He must either come +out of the shaft, or starve at the bottom of it. + +The policemen, soon after, arrived upon the ground; and were made +acquainted with all the circumstances. + +One of them hailed the convict--commanding him "in the Queen's name" to +come up. + +"You are our prisoner," said the policeman, "you cannot escape; and you +may as well surrender at once." + +There was no answer. + +One of the policemen then placed himself in a bowline knot at the end of +the rope; and was gently lowered down into the shaft--several men +standing by at the windlass. + +"Hold there!" cried the convict from below. "The instant you reach the +bottom, I'll drive my pick-axe through you." + +The men at the windlass ceased turning--leaving the policeman suspended +half way down the shaft. + +He was a man of superior courage; and, cocking his revolver, he called +to the convict: that he was going down anyhow--adding, that the first +move made to molest him in the execution of his duty, would be a signal +for him to blow out the brains of the man who should make it. + +He then called to the miners at the windlass to "lower away." + +"Drop your pick!" shouted the policeman, as he came near the bottom of +the shaft--at the same time covering the convict with his revolver. + +The murderer saw the folly of resisting. It was impossible for him to +escape--even could he have killed the officer, and a dozen more besides. + +Some of the "Queen's Jewellery" was soon adjusted upon his wrists; and +the rope, having been fastened around his body, he was hoisted up into +the light of heaven. + +The policemen were going to stop, until they could examine the body of +the murdered man; but they perceived that the indignation of the crowd +was fast rising to such a pitch, that it was necessary for the prisoner +to be carried to some place of security--else he might be taken out of +their hands. + +None of the spectators seemed anxious either to rescue, or kill the man. +Each one appeared to be satisfied by getting a kick or blow at him. +The mind of every honest miner on the ground had been shocked by the +cruel crime that had been committed; and each appeared to think he had +himself a score of revenge to wipe off against the perpetrator. + +Each wished to calm his outraged feelings, by inflicting some +chastisement upon the criminal; and still leave to the justice of God +and the law, the task of punishing him for the murder. + +The police did their best to protect their prisoner; but on their way to +their station, they were followed by an indignant crowd of miners, who +kicked and scratched the old convict, till he was nearly lifeless in +their hands. + +When the body of the murdered man had been brought out of the shaft, it +was found that the sharp point of a pick-axe had been driven through his +skull. The wound was in the back part of the head--proving that the +victim had received the blow from behind, and most probably without any +warning. A similar fate would undoubtedly have befallen his friend, had +he not made the discovery which enabled him to avert it. + +The murderer was sent down to Melbourne to be locked up, till the +sitting of the Criminal Court. + +The day after the funeral of the murdered man, the only one of the three +partners left to work out the claim, made his appearance upon the spot. + +Before commencing work, he came over to me; and we had a long +conversation together. + +"If I had only myself to think of," said he, "I would have nothing +farther to do with this claim. It cannot be very pleasant to me to work +in it, after what has occurred. The young man who has been killed, was +my playmate in boyhood, and my constant companion ever since we left +home together. I shall have to carry back to his father, mother, and +sisters, the news of his sad fate. His relatives are very poor people; +and it took every penny they could scrape together to furnish him with +the means for coming out here. My duty to them, and to his memory, is +the sole cause of my continuing any longer to work the claim. However +painful the task may be, I must perform it. I shall obtain all the gold +it may yield; and every speck to which my murdered friend should have +been entitled, shall be paid over to his relatives. I know that they +had rather see himself return penniless to them, than to have all the +gold of Australia; but for all that he shall not be robbed, as well as +murdered. + +"I have often heard him speak of the pleasure it would give him to +return to his relations with his gold. I can only show my respect for +his wishes, by taking them the money to which he would have been +entitled, had he lived, to work out his claim. It shall be done without +his aid; but his relations shall have the yield of it, all the same as +if he had lived." + +Whenever the windlass was to be used in bringing up the "wash dirt" from +below--or the surviving partner wanted assistance in any way--it was +cheerfully rendered by the miners at work in the adjoining claims. + +By the time he had completed his task, he was summoned to Melbourne, as +a witness on the trial of the murderer; and, after his leaving the Avoca +diggings, I saw him no more. + +I afterwards learnt from the Melbourne Argus: that the old convict was +found guilty of the murder, and ended his earthly existence on the +gallows. + +Volume Three, Chapter IX. + +A LARK WITH THE "LICENCE-HUNTERS." + +After we had completed the working of our claim in the Avoca lead, my +partner--who had told me that his name was Brown--signified his +intention of returning home to England. + +"I have saved between three and four hundred pounds," said he, "and +shouldn't know what to do with it here. I've been thinking of going +home for several years past; and now's the time to do it." + +Instead of attempting to dissuade him, I rather encouraged him in his +design, telling him that, if dissatisfied with his visit to his native +country, he could return to the diggings--before they should get +worked-out--and try his fortune once more. + +He had heard me speak of going myself back to England some time or +other; and he urged me to make the voyage along with him. + +I should probably have acceded to his request,--had he not pressed me so +strongly; but I have a great aversion to doing anything, that I am +vehemently solicited to do. + +If there is anything which will make me do the very thing I know to be +wrong, it is when some one counsels me too pressingly _against_ doing +it. I have a great _penchant_ for being guided by my own judgment; and +I believe that very little good is done by giving advice, to those who +are old enough to think and act for themselves. + +In answer to my partner's request, I told him that I should probably +return to England in about a year; but was not then ready to go. + +Though a little disappointed at my not accompanying him, Brown and I +parted on good terms. He left full directions with me for finding him +in Birmingham--should I ever go to that city; and warmly urged upon me +to call and see him. I gave him a promise to do so. + +"I believe you are a respectable, right-thinking man," said he, as we +shook hands at parting; "you have treated me, as though I was the same; +and that's more than I have been accustomed to for the last score of +years." + +On leaving me, Brown proceeded direct to Melbourne, where he took ship +for England. + +For two or three days after he had left me, I looked about the +diggings--undecided what I should next do. + +One afternoon, while sauntering at a little distance, from my tent, I +saw some policemen, with a squad of mounted troopers, out on the patrol. +A "licensing commissioner" at their head, proved that they were looking +for "unlicenced" miners. + +I never went abroad without a miner's licence in my pocket; but I felt a +strong dislike to showing it--solely on account of the manner, in which +the demand to do so was usually made. + +I shall have something to say about "licence-hunting" in another +chapter--where the subject will be introduced, and more fully discussed. +My present purpose is to relate a little adventure which occurred to me +at Avoca--of which the licence-hunters were the heroes. It was this +episode, that first awakened within my mind some thoughts about the +infamous system of drawing a revenue, from the most honest and +industrious portion of the population. + +It is usual for diggers--who are not provided with a licence--on seeing +the police out upon their scouting excursions, either to take to the +bush, or hide themselves in the shaft, or tunnel, of some mining claim. +This is done to avoid being searched; and, as a matter of course, +carried before a magistrate, and fined five pounds for--_trespassing on +the Crown lands_! + +On the occasion in question, when I saw the licence-hunters out on their +usual errand, it came into my head to have a little amusement with them. +I had been going idle for two or three days, and wanted something to +amuse me--as well as give exercise to my limbs. + +When the policemen had got within about a hundred yards of where I was +standing, I pretended to see them for the first time; and started off at +a run. They saw me, as I intended they should; and two or three of them +gave chase--under the full belief that I was an unlicenced digger. They +that first followed me were afoot; and they soon learnt that the farther +they pursued, the greater became the distance between them and me. Two +of the mounted troopers now left the side of the Commissioner; and +joined in the chase--spurring their horses into a gallop. + +I was running in the direction of my own tent; and contrived to reach +it, before the troopers overtook me. + +By the time they had got up to the tent, I was standing in the opening +of the canvass; and received them by demanding their business. + +"We wish to see your licence," said one. + +I took from my pocket the piece of paper, legally authorising me to +"search for, dig, and remove gold from the crown lands of the colony." +I handed it to the trooper. + +He appeared much disappointed, at finding it was "all right." + +"What made you run away from us?" he demanded angrily. + +"What made you think I was running away from you?" I inquired in turn. + +"What made you run at all?" put in the second trooper. + +"Because I was in haste to reach home," I answered. + +The two then talked together in a low voice, after which one of them +told me that I must go along with them. + +"For what reason?" I asked; but received no answer. They were either +unwilling, or unable, to give me a reason. + +The two policemen, who had pursued me on foot, now came up; and all four +insisted on my being taken along with them, a prisoner, to the police +camp! + +I refused to come out of the tent; and cautioned them not to enter it-- +without showing me their warrant, or some authority for the intrusion. + +They paid no attention to what I said; but stepping inside the tent, +rudely conducted me out of it. + +I accompanied them without making resistance--thinking that when brought +before a magistrate, I should get them reprimanded for what they had +done. + +In the afternoon, I was arraigned before, the "bench," and charged with +molesting and interfering with the police in the execution of their +duty! My accusers told their story; and I was called upon for my +defence. + +I informed the magistrate, that I had never been an unlicenced miner for +a single day, since I had been on the diggings; and I entered upon a +long speech--to prove, that in moving about the gold-fields, I had the +right to travel at any rate of speed I might choose; and that I had +unlawfully been dragged out of my tent--which being my "castle," should +not have been invaded in the manner it had been. + +This was what I intended to have said; but I did not get the opportunity +of making my forensic display: for the magistrate cut me short, by +stating, that I had been playing what the diggers call a "lark," and by +doing so, had drawn the police from their duty. They had been seeking +for those who really had _not_ licences; and who, through my +misbehaviour, might have been able to make their escape! + +In conclusion, this sapient justice fined me forty shillings! + +There was an _injustice_ about this decision--as well as the manner in +which I had been treated--that aroused my indignation. I had broken no +law, I had done nothing but what any free subject had a right to do, yet +I had been treated as a criminal, and mulcted of my money--in fact, +robbed of two pounds sterling! + +After this affair, I was disgusted with Avoca; and, in less than an hour +after, I rolled up my blankets, and took the road for Ballarat--this +being the place to which I always turned, when not knowing where else to +go. + +Everyone must have some place that they look upon as a home--a point +from which to start or take departure. Mine was Ballarat: for the +reason that I liked that place better than any other in the colony. + +I had made more money on the Ballarat diggings than elsewhere in +Australia; and I had never left the place to go to any other, without +having cause to regret the change. This time, I determined, on my +return to Ballarat, to stay there--until I should be ready to bid a +final adieu to Australia. + +Volume Three, Chapter X. + +DIGGER-HUNTING. + +Soon after my arrival at Ballarat, the mining population of the place +was roused to a state of great excitement--by being constantly worried +about their gold licences. + +All engaged in the occupation of mining, were required to take out a +monthly licence, for which one pound ten shillings had to be paid. Each +miner was required to carry this licence upon his person; and produce it +whenever desired to do so, by the commissioner, or any official acting +under his authority. + +It was not to the tax of eighteen pounds per annum that the miners +objected; but to the manner in which it was levied and enforced. + +The diggers did not like to be so often accosted by a body of armed men, +and compelled to show a piece of paper--in the event of them not having +it about them, to be dragged off to the court, and fined five pounds. + +After some show of opposition to this tax--or rather to the way of +enforcing it--had begun to exhibit itself, the government officials +became more industrious than ever at their occupation of +"digger-hunting." A commissioner, with a band of mounted troopers, +might have been seen out every day--scouring the country far and near, +and commanding every man they met to produce his licence. Not +unfrequently an honest miner would be required to exhibit the +disagreeable document as often as four or five times a day! + +The diggers soon got tired of this sort of thing, which was enough to +have exasperated men of a more tranquil tone of mind, than gold-diggers +usually are. + +Meetings were called and attended by many hundreds of miners, at which +strong resolutions were passed; to resist the arrest of any man, who +should be taken up for not having a gold licence. + +These resolutions could not be effectually carried into effect, without +some organisation amongst those who had passed them. + +This was to a certain extent accomplished; by about four hundred diggers +forming themselves into an organised band, and commencing to drill and +discipline in a sort of military fashion. + +Thinking the wrongs of the diggers a sufficient justification for this +action on their part, I joined one of the companies thus formed--with +the full determination to assist, as far as lay in my power, in the +removal of the injustice complained of. + +I did not think there was anything in English law--properly understood +and administered--that would allow thousands of men to be constantly +hunted, harassed and insulted by bands of armed police, demanding to see +a piece of paper; but perhaps my experience of the way "justice" was +administered at Avoca, had something to do in guiding my resolution to +resist it at Ballarat. + +At our meetings, the diggers indignantly declared their determination to +overthrow the system that made them game for the minions of the +Government; and to prove that they were in earnest in what they said, +many of them were seen to tear up their licences upon the spot, and +light their pipes with the torn fragments of the paper! + +From that time, whenever an attempt was made by the police to arrest a +man without a licence, it was resisted by large mobs of diggers; and on +two or three occasions both police and troopers were compelled to +retreat to their encampment. + +The police force on Ballarat was soon increased in number; and a large +body of regular troops was sent up from Melbourne. + +The diggers saw that they could no longer oppose this force, without +maintaining a body of their own men in arms; and for this purpose a +select number was chosen, who, having been regularly organised into +companies, formed a camp on the Eureka lead. + +Some of the lying officials of the government have represented this camp +to have been strongly fortified--the lie being propagated to secure them +greater credit, for their bravery in capturing it! + +The statement was altogether untrue. The Eureka stockade was nothing +more than an inclosure formed with slabs of timber--such as were used to +wall in the shafts sunk on wet leads--and could no more be called a +fortification, than the hurdles used by farmers for penning up a flock +of sheep. + +The importance attached to the movement, on the part of the government +officials, was ludicrous in the extreme. + +Martial law was proclaimed in Ballarat; and several hundred pounds were +expended in filling bags of sand, and fortifying the Treasury at +Melbourne--about one hundred miles from the scene of the _emeute_! + +The idea of the diggers marching to Melbourne, and molesting the +Government property there, was simply ridiculous. The authorities must +have held an opinion of the men they governed, not very complimentary to +the liege subjects of Her Majesty. + +Because the miners objected to being hunted and worried for a piece of +paper--proving that they had paid eighteen pounds per annum of tax, more +than any other class of the population--the Government officials seemed +to think that a causeless rebellion had broken out, which threatened to +overthrow the whole British Empire; and which nothing but low scheming +and barbarous action could quell. + +Thousands of ounces of gold were lying on deposit in the Escort Office +at Ballarat; yet had the mutineers taken the place, I am confident this +treasure would have been protected, and restored to its rightful owners. + +But there was no intention on the part of the diggers, either to touch +Ballarat, or its gold. They only maintained an armed body at the Eureka +Stockade, because they could in no other way resist the raids of the +troopers who were sent out licence-hunting. They were as innocent of +all intention to overthrow the Government; "loot" the Escort Office at +Ballarat; or march upon Melbourne, as babes unborn. + +Their only object was to have English law properly administered to them; +or rather, to resist the violation of it by the minions who had been +appointed to its execution. + +This the Government might have learnt--and probably did learn--from the +policemen disguised as diggers, who took part in the proceedings at the +Eureka Stockade, for these communicated all they learnt, and no doubt a +good deal more, to the officials in the Government camp. + +Volume Three, Chapter XI. + +A GENIUS IN THE DIGGINGS. + +When I went to join the insurgents at the Stockade, I was accompanied by +a man, who had been living in a tent near my own--a German, whom I only +knew by the name of "Karl." He was as singular a man, as was to be met +amongst the many incomprehensible characters found on a gold-field. He +was only twenty-five years of age, though he had already travelled over +much of the world, and spoke several languages fluently. He knew +something of the literature, science, arts, and customs of almost every +nation, ancient or modern; and having a wonderful memory, as well as a +great command of language, he could be very entertaining in +conversation. My attention was first called to the extraordinary power +of his memory, by hearing him once talking on the relative merits of the +poets. + +He appeared to know all the poetical writings of the English, German, +and Italian authors by heart: as he could repeat long passages from any +of them, when called upon. + +I remember, amongst many severe criticisms which he gave us on the +poetry of Byron, his quoting the phrases of "sad knee," "melodious +tears," "cloudy groan," "poetic marble," "loud hill," "foolish flower," +"learned fingers," and "silly sword," all of which he mentioned were +absurd expressions. + +The reader may think my sketch of this individual overdrawn, when I add, +that in addition to his other accomplishments, he was not only a +musician of great skill, but, in my opinion, a musical prodigy; and +excited more astonishment and admiration by his musical talents, than by +any other of the many accomplishments he possessed. + +Often would he wander alone, where nature was most lovely; and from her +surrounding beauties, add inspiration to the melody that filled his +soul. + +The notes of birds, the whispering of the winds, and the murmuring of +the streams, were all caught and combined, or harmoniously arranged in +enchanting melodies, which he would reproduce on his violin, after +returning to his tent, in strains that seemed enraptured. + +Never did I listen to the music made by him, without thinking myself a +better man: for all the gentler sentiments of my soul would be awakened, +and expanded into action under its influence. For hours would the +sounds echo in my memory--making me forget the sorrows of the past, as +well as the cares of the future; and turning my thoughts to an ideal +world, where material ugliness is unknown. + +I defy any man with a soul superior to that of a monkey, to have been +guilty of a mean or dishonest action, after listening to a tune composed +and played by Karl the German. + +I do not call myself a judge of music, or of the relative merits of +different musicians, and only form this opinion from the effect produced +on my mind by his performance. + +I am not easily excited by musical, or dramatic representations; but +Mario's magnificent rendering of the death scene in "Lucrezia Borgia," +or the astounding recklessness Alboni is accustomed to throw into the +"Brindisi," could never awaken within my soul such deep thoughts, as +those often stirred by the simple strains of Karl's violin. + +Though possessing all these great natural abilities--strengthened by +travel, and experience in both men and books--Karl was a slave to one +habit, that rendered all his talents unavailing, and hindered him from +ever rising to the station, he might otherwise have held among men. + +He was a confirmed drunkard; and could never be kept sober, so long as +there was a shilling in his pocket! + +Pride had hitherto restrained him from seeking professional engagement, +and exhibiting his musical talents to the world, although, according to +his own story, he had been brought up to the profession of a musician. +He was even becoming celebrated in it, when the demon of intemperance +made his acquaintance, and dragged him down to the lowest depths of +poverty and despair. + +Once, when in Melbourne, starvation drove him to seek an interview with +the manager of a theatre, who listened with wonder and admiration to the +soul-entrancing melody he produced. + +A sum far beyond his expectations was offered; and money advanced to +enable him to make a respectable appearance; but on the night in which +his _debut_ was to have been made, he was not forthcoming! He had been +found in the street, drunk and disorderly, and was carried to the +lock-up--where he passed the evening among policemen, instead of +exhibiting himself before a delighted audience on the stage of a +theatre! + +I know that he used every effort to subdue this passion for strong +drink. But all proved unavailing. Notwithstanding the strength of his +mind in other respects, he could not resist the fatal fascination. + +Small minds may be subdued and controlled by worldly interests; but the +power to curb the action of a large and active intellect may not always +lie within itself. + +Karl wished to join the insurgents--as they were called--at the Eureka +Stockade; and although myself anxious that their number should be +augmented as much as possible, I endeavoured to persuade him against +having anything to do with the disturbance. + +The truth was, that I thought foreigners had at that time too much to +say about the manner in which the colony was governed. + +Although I could not deny that the faults of which they complained, in +reality existed, yet I believed that they were not the persons who had +the right to correct them. Many of the foreign diggers had a deal more +to say, about the misgovernment of the colony, than any of Her Majesty's +subjects; and I did not like to hear them talk treason. They had come +to the colony for the purpose of making money--because Australia offered +superior advantages for that purpose--and I thought that they should +have been satisfied with the government found there, without taking upon +themselves to reform its abuses. + +I explained all this to Karl; but, while admitting the truth of what I +said, he still adhered to his determination to take a part in the +revolution of Eureka. + +"Several times," said he, "have I had armed men command me to show a +licence, and I have also been imprisoned, because I did not have that +piece of paper in my pocket. I have several times been insulted in the +colony, because I am not an Englishman. I care but little which gets +the worst of this struggle--the minions of the government or its +subjects. Where the blood of either, or both, is to flow, there I wish +to be." + +I said nothing more to dissuade Karl from following this singular wish; +but permitted him to accompany me to the stockade--where he was enrolled +in one of the companies. + +Volume Three, Chapter XII. + +THE EUREKA ROUT. + +I have stated that about four hundred men were kept under arms at +Ballarat, to oppose the amusement of digger-hunting, so much indulged in +by the government officials. The former had now made their rendezvous +at the stockade on the Eureka. + +They were accustomed to meet in the day, and get drilled by officers, +whom they had appointed for this duty. During the night, most of them, +who were residents of Ballarat, returned thither, and slept in their +tents, while others, who had come from Creswick's Creek and the more +distant gold-fields--to take part in the affair--remained at the +boarding houses of the township. + +On the night of the 2nd of December, 1854, there were about one hundred +and seventy men in the stockade. + +Having entered into the cause, I determined to devote my whole time to +it; and on that night I was there among the rest. + +The diggers, who were present, supposed they had as much right to stay +in the stockade as elsewhere. + +They certainly were not interfering with the officials in the execution +of their duty; nor, in any way, making a disturbance. + +There was no just cause why they should have been attacked on that +particular night. It is true, that during the previous week, the +troopers had been opposed by the diggers they were hunting; and had in +some cases been prevented from making arrests. But the authorities need +not have supposed, that the men in the Eureka Stockade were the same who +had offered this resistance. They could only have thought so, and acted +on the belief, by a singular stretch of imagination. + +About half-past eleven o'clock, an alarm was given, that the soldiers +were approaching the stockade. All turned out, and were prepared to +defend themselves; but the alarm proved a false one. + +At one o'clock in the morning there was another alarm, which also proved +to be without any just cause. + +At half-past two, there was still another false report, to which only a +very few paid any attention: as the men had got tired of being so often +roused from their slumbers without any cause. Only about half of their +number turned out at this time; and these were laughed at by the +others--for allowing themselves to be unnecessarily frightened. + +About half-past four in the morning--just as the first faint light of +day was seen on the eastern horizon--the camp was again set in commotion +by the fourth alarm. + +This time there was a real cause: since soldiers and troopers could be +seen through the twilight, riding towards the stockade. + +On the 3rd day of December, 1854, at half-past four o'clock on that holy +Sabbath morning, the people in the Eureka Stockade were attacked by +English soldiers, and troopers in the pay of the Victorian Government. +As the attack was altogether unexpected, they were of course unprepared +to repel or resist it. + +It would have been little less than folly to have attempted resistance: +for the assailants numbered three hundred and ninety men, all well armed +and mounted, while the diggers, were less than half that number, and +most of us only provided with fowling pieces. + +When the signal of attack was given, it was done in a manner that +started the sleeping diggers to their legs; and these soon proved to be +the most useful members of their bodies. The majority refused to obey +the orders of their officers--which was to reserve their fire, until our +assailants should come near. + +Most discharged their guns at the enemy, while still only dimly seen +through the mist of the morning. After firing once, they fled. In an +instant, the troopers were upon us. + +A few of the diggers upon this occasion proved themselves men of heroic +courage. I saw young Ross, who commanded a company, shot dead at the +head of his men--while vainly trying to induce them to stand firm. + +It seemed but a minute after the signal had been sounded, before the +troopers broke down the palisades; and began shooting and hacking at us +with their swords. + +"I'm a Rolling Stone," thought I, "and do not like staying too long in +one spot. The Eureka Stockade is not the place for me." + +After making this reflection, I sprang over the palisades; and went off +at a speed, that enabled me soon to distance many of my comrades who had +started in advance of me. + +Amongst others passed in my flight, was Karl, the German, who still +persevered in his determination not to desert his digger associates: +since he was accompanying them in their retreat. + +He had not fled, however, until assured that our defeat was certain: for +I saw him inside the stockade, firing his revolver, shortly before I +came away myself. + +I did not stay to speak to him: for the troopers were closely pursuing +us; and cutting down with their swords any man they could overtake. + +A majority of the routed diggers fled towards a tract of ground, that +had been what the miners call, "worked-out." + +This ground was so perforated with holes, that the troopers were unable +to gallop their horses over it. Fortunate for the fugitives that these +abandoned diggings lay so near the stockade--otherwise the slaughter +would have been much greater than it was--in all probability amounting +to half the number of the men who had been gathered there. + +The pursuit was not continued very far. The troopers soon lost all +traces of those they were galloping after. Some of the diggers +succeeded in reaching the bush, while others concealed themselves in the +shafts of the worked-out claims; and, after a time, the soldiers were +recalled to exult over their easy victory. + +The regular soldiers of Her Majesty's army took some prisoners in the +stockade; but so far as I saw, or could afterwards ascertain, the +mounted policemen of the Colonial Government, made no attempt to capture +a single digger. They showed no quarter; but cut down, and in some +instances horribly mutilated, all with whom they came in contact. + +Many of the routed diggers remained concealed in the bush, and other +places of refuge, all that day; but, perceiving no necessity for this, +as soon as the pursuit was over, I returned to my tent. In the +afternoon, when quiet had to a certain extent been restored, I walked +over to view the scene of strife, and take a look at the unclaimed +corpses. Twenty-eight miners had been shot dead upon the spot; but many +more were missing--of whose fate nothing was ever afterwards known. A +few probably fell, or were thrown, into some of the deep holes, through +which the pursuit had been carried. + +Some of the dead had acquaintances and friends about Ballarat, who +afterwards removed their bodies, for the purpose of burial. + +I saw several corpses that had been collected in one place, and were +waiting for recognition. Amongst them was that of a young Austrian, +whom I had known. His body had been pierced with five gun shot wounds-- +any one of which would have proved fatal. + +There was one corpse so mutilated and disfigured with sabre cuts, that +the features could not be recognised by any with whom, when alive, the +man had been acquainted. It was that of a miner who had a family in +Ballarat. His body was afterwards identified by his wife, but only +through some articles that were found in the pockets of his coat. + +I never saw, or heard of Karl after that fatal morning. Several days +elapsed; and his tent, that stood near my own, remained unclaimed by its +owner. It was still guarded by his dog, which I fed on its chain--as +some of my neighbours jocularly remarked--to keep it alive, for the +pleasure of hearing it howl. Karl had probably fallen down one of the +deep holes, on the abandoned diggings, over which we had been pursued. + +At length, becoming weary of listening to the piteous howling of the +dog, I set the animal at liberty, and on doing so, gave it a kick--this +being the only means I could think of, to let it know that I wished to +cut its further acquaintance. It was an ugly, mangy creature; and all +the respect I felt for the memory of its lost master, could not induce +me to be troubled with it any longer. + +Four men were arrested, and tried as ringleaders in the "Ballarat +rebellion." They were charged with treason--with an intent to overthrow +her Majesty's Government, and take from Queen Victoria the Crown of +England! The Governor and his ministers wished the world to be +informed, that they had succeeded in quelling a revolution, that +threatened destruction to the whole British empire! + +They thirsted for more blood; but they did not get it. The jury, before +whom the prisoners were tried, acquitted them; and they were once more +set at liberty. + +Not long after, the licensing system was abolished; and in its stead an +export duty of two shillings and sixpence per ounce, was levied upon the +gold. This was certainly a more natural method of collecting the +revenue; and in every way more satisfactory. By it, the unsuccessful +miner was not called upon to pay as much as one who had been fortunate; +and the diggers were no longer annoyed and insulted by the minions of +the Licensing Commission. + +Volume Three, Chapter XIII. + +BURIED ALIVE. + +From Ballarat, I went to the great rush at Mount Blackwood; and pitched +my tent on a part of that gold-field, known as the "Red Hill." + +Mount Blackwood was more heavily and thickly timbered, than any other of +the Victorian gold-fields. The surface of the ground was very uneven; +and the soil on the rocks of but little depth. It was difficult to find +a horizontal space, of sufficient size, for the pitching of an ordinary +miner's tent; and to see such stupendous trees growing on the steep +hill-sides, with scarce soil enough to cover their roots, was matter of +surprise to everybody who came to Mount Blackwood. + +About three weeks after the rush had commenced--and after several +thousand people had gathered there--we were visited one night by a +terrific gale, or more properly speaking, a "hurricane." + +Hundreds of large trees--which owing to the shallow soil, could not take +deep root in the rock underneath--were blown down. + +The night was very dark; and no one could see from what side a tree +might at any moment come crashing. A space of ground, out of reach of +the fallen trunks, was not to be found on the gold-field. The +consequence was, that thirteen people were killed for certain; and many +more severely injured, all through the falling of the trees. + +But the number of fatal accidents, caused by the hurricane of that +night, was probably never known. + +The night was one of horror and fear to more than eight thousand +people--each of whom knew not the minute that death might be his +portion. A miner and his wife, while endeavouring to escape to a place +of safety, were crushed under the same tree. Had they remained in their +tent, they would have escaped uninjured! But what was still more +singular in this unfortunate incident; the woman, when struck by the +tree, was carrying a child, which received not the slightest injury, +while both the parents were killed on the spot! + +The day after the storm, Mount Blackwood presented a very forlorn +appearance. Hundreds of trees had been prostrated by the wind; and +nearly every tent had been thrown down. + +Ever since that night, I can understand the fear, that some sailors +entertain, of _a storm upon land_. + +I had very little success in gold digging at Mount Blackwood; but while +there, an incident occurred that was interesting to me; so much so, as +to be deserving of a place among these my adventures. + +I expect to die some time; but fervently hope and pray, that my +existence may not be terminated by _suffocation_--either by means of a +rope, or otherwise. I profess to have a horror of that mode of death: +for the simple reason that I have made trial of it, and found the +sensation anything but pleasant. + +While at Mount Blackwood, I worked a claim in company with three others. + +I was taken into this partnership, by a man I had known at Ballarat. He +went by the name of "Yorkey"--from his being a Yorkshireman--and was the +only one of the "firm" with whom I formed much acquaintance. + +I was at work in a tunnel of the claim, where we had not used sufficient +caution in supporting the top of the tunnel with timber. + +Although the shaft was not a wide one, the earth being a little damp, +and composed of loose shingle, required propping up. As I had neglected +this, about a cart load of the shingle fell down, burying me completely +under it. + +The weight upon my limbs was so great, that I could not move them; and I +lay as if I had been chained to the spot. + +At the time, two of my mining partners were also below, working in +another part of the tunnel. Of course they heard the little earthquake, +and came to my assistance. + +The task of digging me out, proved more difficult than they expected: +for there was not room for both my mates to work at the same time-- +besides, they could not handle either pick or shovel to any great +effect, lest they might injure my limbs. + +We had been called up for dinner; and I was on the point of climbing out +of the tunnel, just at the moment the earth fell in. + +Our mates above, had grown impatient at our delay; and commenced +shouting for us to come up. I heard one of those below responding to +them. I could not understand what he said; but afterwards learnt, that +he was merely telling them what had happened. + +Never shall I forget the strange sound of that man's voice. I suppose, +for the reason that I was buried in the earth, it seemed unearthly. I +could form no idea of the distance the speaker was from me. His voice +seemed to come from some place thousands of miles away--in fact from +another world. I was sensible that some mischance had occurred--that I +was buried alive, and in great agony; but the voice I heard seemed to +proceed from the remotest part of an immense cavern in some planet, far +down in the depths of space. It commanded me to come thither: and I +thought I was preparing to obey that command, by ceasing to live; but +the necessary preparation for another existence appeared to require a +long time in being completed. + +In my struggles for respiration, I fancied that stones and earth were +passing through my lungs; and hours, days and weeks seemed to be spent +in this sort of agony. It was real agony--so real as not to beget +insensibility. On the contrary, my consciousness of existence remained +both clear and active. + +I wondered why I did not die of starvation; and tried to discover if +there was any principle in nature that would enable a person, when +buried alive, to resist the demands of hunger and live for ever without +food. It seemed impossible for me to die. One vast world appeared to +be compressing me against another; but they could not both crush out the +agony of my existence. + +At length the thought occurred to me that I was dead; and that in +another world I was undergoing punishment for crimes committed in that I +had left. + +"What have I ever done," thought I, "that this horrible torture should +be inflicted on me?" + +Every link in memory's chain was presented to my mental examination, and +minutely examined. + +They were all perfect to my view; but none of them seemed connected with +any act in the past, that should have consigned me to the torture I was +suffering. + +My agony at last produced its effect; and I was released from it. I +gradually became unconscious, or nearly so. There was still a sensation +of pain--of something indescribably wrong; but the keen sensibility of +it, both mental and bodily, had now passed away. This semi-unconscious +state did not seem the result of the accident that had befallen me. I +thought it had arisen from long years of mental care and bodily +suffering; and was the involuntary repose of a spirit exhausted by sheer +contention, with all the ills that men may endure upon earth. Then I +felt myself transferred from this state to another quite different--one +of true physical pain, intense and excruciating, though it no longer +resembled the indescribable horror I had experienced, while trying to +inhale the rocks that were crushing the life out of me. + +My head was now uncovered; and I was breathing fast and freely. + +Though in great pain, I was now conscious of all that was transpiring. + +I could hear the voice of `Yorkey,' speaking in his native Yorkshire +dialect, and encouraging me with the statement that I would soon be out +of danger. + +Notwithstanding the pain I still suffered, I was happy--I believe never +more so in my life. The horrible agony I had been enduring for the want +of breath had passed away; and, as I recognised the voice of the +kind-hearted Yorkshireman, I knew that everything would be done for me +that man could do. + +I was not mistaken: for `Yorkey' soon after succeeded in getting my arms +and legs extracted from the shingle; and I was hoisted up to the surface +of the earth. + +Previous to this accident, I had but a faint idea of how much I valued +life, or rather how much I had hitherto undervalued the endurance of +death. + +My sufferings, whilst buried in the tunnel, were almost as great as +those I had felt on first learning the loss of Lenore! + +This accident had the effect of sadly disgusting me with the romantic +occupation of gold digging--at all events it made me weary of a digger's +life on Mount Blackwood--where the best claim I could discover, paid but +very little more than the expenses incurred in working it. + +I thought Mount Blackwood, for several reasons, the most disagreeable +part of Victoria I had ever visited, excepting Geelong. I had a bad +impression of the place on first reaching it; and working hard for +several weeks, without making anything, did not do much towards removing +that impression. I determined, therefore, to go back to Ballarat--not a +little dissatisfied with myself for having left it. After my experience +of the Avoca diggings, I had resolved to remain permanently at +Ballarat--believing it to be the best gold-field in the Colony--but I +had allowed false reports of the richness of Mount Blackwood to affect +this resolution; and I was not without the consolation of knowing, that +the misfortunes that befel me at the latter place were attributable to +my own folly; in lending a too ready ear to idle exaggerations. + +Volume Three, Chapter XIV. + +THE "ELEPHANT" AND HIS MATE. + +For several days after my "exhumation," I was compelled to remain in my +tent, an invalid. + +When at length I became able to take the road, I started back for +Ballarat, where I arrived after an arduous journey on foot, that lasted +nearly three days. + +On again becoming fairly settled on this far-famed gold-field, I +purchased a share in a claim on the "Gravel-pits" lead. + +This speculation proved fortunate: for the prospect turned out a good +one. The gold I expected to obtain from my claim--added to what I had +previously accumulated--promised to amount to a considerable sum. With +this, I should have been willing to relinquish the hardships of a +miner's life, and follow some less laborious occupation. + +When I thought of doing so, however, certain difficulties always +presented themselves. + +What should I do? What other profession could I follow? These were +interrogatories, not easily answered. + +Where I should go, after leaving the diggings, was a subject for +profound consideration. For what reason should I go anywhere? What +purpose had I to accomplish by going anywhere, or doing anything? While +asking myself these questions, I thought of Jessie, though not with +pleasure, for then within my mind would arise a temptation hard to +resist. + +Unable to shape out any plan, I left it to circumstances; and toiled on +from day to day, with no more interest in the future than the shovel I +held in my hands! + +How very different it appeared to be with the two young men, who were +part owners of the claim, in which I had purchased a share! + +Our "firm" was a large concern, owned by ten of us in all; and out of +the number, there were but two who appeared to be toiling for an object. +The majority of mankind think they are living and working for some +purpose; but many of them are mistaken. They have some wishes, with a +faint desire to see them fulfilled. But few there are who labour with +that determined resolve that cannot be shaken, or set aside by the +circumstances of the hour. Men do not often struggle with the +determined spirit, that is ever certain to insure success. + +The most superficial observer could not have failed to perceive, that +the two young men I have mentioned were acting under the influence of +some motive stronger than common. + +The energy they displayed in their toil, the firmness they exhibited in +resisting the many temptations set before them, their disregard of the +past, their anxiety for the present, and confidence in the future--all +told me that they were toiling for a purpose. They acted, as if they +had never met with any serious disappointment in life; and as if they +fully believed that Fortune's smiles might be won by those who deserve +them. + +I knew they must be happy in this belief: for I once indulged in it +myself. I could envy them, while hoping that, unlike me, the object for +which they were exerting themselves might be accomplished. I had seen +many young men--both in California and Australia--yielding to the +temptations that beset them; and squandering the most valuable part of +their lives in dissipation--scattering the very gold, in the +accumulation of which they had already sacrificed both health and +strength. It was a pleasure, therefore, to witness the behaviour of +these two young miners, actuated by principles too pure and strong to be +conquered by the follies that had ruined so many. For this reason, I +could not help wishing them success; and I sincerely hoped that virtue, +in their case, might meet with its reward. + +Nearly everyone has some cause for self-gratification--some little +revenue of happiness that makes him resigned to all ordinary conditions +of life. + +My two companions wished to acquire a certain sum of money, for a +certain purpose. They had every reason to believe their wishes would be +fulfilled; and were contented in their toil. Such was once the case +with myself; but my circumstances had sadly changed. I had nothing to +accomplish, nothing to hope for. + +And yet this unfortunate state of existence was not without some +reflections, that partially reconciled me to my fate. Others were +toiling with hopes that might end in disappointment; and I was not. +Apprehensions for the future that might trouble them, were no longer a +source of anxiety to me! + +One of the young men, whom I have thus ceremoniously introduced, was +named Alexander Olliphant. He was better known amongst us as "the +Elephant"--a distinction partly suggested by his name, and partly owing +to his herculean strength. He was a native of the colonies--New South +Wales--though he differed very much in personal appearance from the +majority of the native-born inhabitants of that colony, who are +generally of a slender make. "The Elephant" was about six feet in +height, but of a stout build, and possessing great physical strength. +Although born and brought up in New South Wales, his conversation +proclaimed him familiar with most of the sights to be witnessed in +London, Paris, and many others of the large cities of Europe. He +appeared to have been well educated; and altogether there was a mystery +about the man, that I could not comprehend. I did not try to fathom it. +Men working together on the gold-fields are seldom inquisitive; and two +mates will often associate, throughout the whole period of their +partnership without either becoming acquainted with a single +circumstance of the past life of the other--often, indeed, without even +learning each other's family names! + +I was along with Edmund Lee--already mentioned in my narrative--for many +months; and yet he never heard my name, until the hour of our parting in +Callao--when we were entering into an arrangement to correspond with +each other! + +The second of the young men I have spoken about, was known to us simply +as, "Sailor Bill." He seldom had anything to say to anyone. We only +knew, that he had been a sailor; and that he was to all appearance +everything an honest fellow should be. He had worked with Olliphant for +more than a year; and, although the two appeared to be on intimate terms +of acquaintance--and actually were warm friends--neither knew anything +of the private history of the other! + +As soon as we should have completed our claim on the Gravel-pits lead, +Olliphant and Bill had declared their intention of proceeding to +Melbourne--to return to the diggings no more. They had been both +fortunate, they said--having obtained the full amount for which they had +been toiling, and something more. + +They were going to realise those hopes and wishes, that had cheered and +inspired them through the weary hours of their gold digging life. + +They were both quite young. Perhaps they had parents in poverty, whom +they were intending to relieve? Perhaps others might be waiting for +their return, and would be made happy by it? The joy of anticipating +such a happiness was once mine; and I could imagine the agreeable +emotions that must have occupied the thoughts of my two companions--once +my own--to be mine no more. + +They were going to give up gold digging--with spirits light, and hopes +bright, perhaps to enter upon some new and pleasanter sphere of action, +while I could bethink me of nothing that would ever more restore my lost +happiness. For me there was nothing but to continue the monotonous +existence my comrades were so soon to forsake. + +Volume Three, Chapter XV. + +A DINNER-PARTY OF DIGGERS. + +Our claim was at length completed, and we--the shareholders--with some +of our friends determined to hold a little jollification. We engaged a +private room in the hotel, where we had divided our gold; and, after +settling all accounts, we sat down to as good a dinner, as the landlord +could place upon his table. + +After dinner, our pipes were lit; and the only business before us, was +to find some amusement for the rest of the evening. + +"Rule Britannia," "The Red, White, and Blue," and "The Flag that braved +a Thousand Years," were sung, and duly applauded. The poet of the +company then gave us a song of his own composing, which, whatever may +have been its merits, met with the approval of the company. + +As it was understood that "the Elephant" and "Bill" were going to give +up gold digging for good, and were to start for Melbourne the next day, +one of the party came out with a proposal, warmly seconded by the rest. + +"Elephant," said the person thus proposing, "now that you and Bill have +made your fortunes, and are going to give up the business, suppose you +tell us all what you intend doing with your money--so that, when we have +made our fortune, we shall have your example to guide us in spending +it?" + +The individual who made this request, had once been a convict in +Tasmania. He was rather a good-looking man, about forty-five years of +age, and went by the name of Norton. The little bird called "rumour," +had chirupped about the diggings many tales of his former achievements +in crime--all of which, however, seemed to have been forgotten. + +The reader may ask, why those of our company, who professed to be +respectable men, should associate with one who had manifestly been a +transported felon? + +The answer is, that we were in circumstances very different from those +who might think of putting such a question. Ten or twelve men were +required for working a mine on the Gravel-pits; and where nearly all the +people of the place were strangers to each other, a man could not very +well make choice of his companions, at least not all of them. Norton +had bought a share in the claim from one of the first holders of it; and +all that the rest of us could require of him, was, that he should +perform his share of the work. + +On such an occasion as that of dividing the gold, he had as much right +to be one of the company, as any other shareholder. + +"I will agree to what you propose, on one condition," responded the +Elephant, to the proposal of Norton; "and I have no doubt but that my +friend, Bill, will do the same. But in order that you should understand +what I intend doing in the future, it will be necessary that you should +be told something of my past. This I am willing to make known, if you, +Norton, will give us a true account of the principal events of your +life; and Bill will probably gratify your curiosity on the same terms?" + +"Oh certainly," said Bill; "if Norton will give us his history, I'll +give mine." + +The idea of an old convict giving us a true account of his misfortunes +and crimes, was thought to be a very happy one; and the whole company +were amused at the way the "Elephant" had defeated Norton's attempt to +gratify his curiosity: for they had no idea that the convict would make +a "confession." But to the surprise of all, he accepted the terms; and +declared himself ready and willing to tell "the truth, the whole truth, +and nothing but the truth." + +Olliphant and Bill could not retreat from the position they had taken, +and Norton was called upon to commence. The glasses were again filled, +and the short black pipes relit. + +The company kept profound silence--showing the deep interest they felt +in hearing the life narrative of a man, with whose crimes rumour had +already made them partially acquainted. + +"I am," began Norton, "the son of a poor man--a day labourer, and was +born in the north of Scotland. Inspired by the hopes common to youth, I +married early. In consequence, I had to endure the misery every man +must meet, who is cursed with poverty, and blessed with a family he is +unable to support. + +"The mutual affection my wife and I entertained for each other, only +increased our wretchedness. It was agony to see one who loved me, +having to endure the privations and hardships to which our poverty +subjected us. + +"By almost superhuman exertions, and by living half-starved, I managed +at last to scrape together a sufficient sum to take me to America--where +I hoped to be able to provide a home for my wife and child. + +"I had not the means to take them along with me, though I left enough to +secure, what I thought, would be a permanent home for them until I +should return. + +"My wife had a brother--an only relative--who lived in a lonely house +among the hills. He and his wife kindly agreed to give my old woman a +home, until I should either return, or send for her. + +"I will not weary you with the particulars of what I did in America-- +more than to state that I went to the copper mines near Lake Superior; +and that I was not there a year, before I was so fortunate as to find a +rich vein of ore, which I sold to a mining company for 6,000 dollars. + +"I sent my wife a part of this money, along with the intelligence, that +I would soon return for her. With the rest, I purchased a small farm in +the southern part of the State of Ohio; and leaving a man in charge of +it, I returned to Scotland for my family. + +"I got back in the middle of winter--in December. It was a very cold +morning, when I arrived in sight of the hovel, that contained all I +loved most dear on earth. It was Christmas Day; and, in order to have +the pleasure of spending it along with my wife, I had walked all the +night before. When I drew near the house, I noticed that the snow--that +had been falling for two days--lay untrodden around the door! + +"I hurried up inside, when I saw, lying on the floor, and partly covered +with rags, my wife and child. They were what men call--_dead_! + +"The appearance of the hut, and of the dead bodies, told me all. They +had died of cold and hunger. + +"I afterwards learnt, that my brother-in-law had died some time before; +and that his wife immediately afterwards had gone away from the hovel to +join some of her own relatives, who lived near the border. + +"My poor wife had disposed of every thing that would sell for a penny; +and had in vain endeavoured to find employment. The distance of the hut +from any neighbour, had prevented her from receiving assistance in the +last hours of her existence: for no one had been aware of the state of +destitution to which she had been reduced. + +"During the severe storm preceding her decease, she had probably +lingered too long in the hut to be able to escape from it; and had +miserably perished, as in a prison. + +"Neither she, nor the child, could have been dead for any length of +time. Their corpses were scarcely cold; and it was horrible for me to +think, that I had been walking in the greatest haste throughout all that +stormy night, and yet had arrived too late to rescue them! + +"When sitting by their lifeless forms, in an agony of mind that words +cannot describe, I was disturbed by the arrival of a stranger. It +turned out to be the post carrier, who stepping inside the hut, handed +me a letter. At a glance, I saw it was the letter I had sent from +America--enclosing a draft for twenty-five pounds. + +"Why has this letter not been delivered before?" I inquired of the man, +speaking as calmly as I could. + +"He apologised, by saying that the letter had only been in his +possession _four days_; and that no one could expect him to come that +distance in a snow storm, when he had no other letter to deliver on the +way! + +"I took up an old chair--the only article of furniture in the house--and +knocked the man senseless to the floor. + +"His skull was broken by the blow; and he soon after died. + +"I was tried, and convicted of manslaughter, for which I received a +sentence of ten years transportation. + +"At the end of three years, I obtained a ticket-of-leave for good +conduct. And now, gentlemen, I have nothing more to tell you, that +would be worth your listening to." + +At the conclusion of Norton's narrative, several of the company, who +seemed to be restraining themselves with great difficulty, broke into +loud shouts of laughter. Norton did not appear to be at all displeased +at this, as I thought, unseemly exhibition! + +I afterwards learnt why he had taken it in such good part. It was +generally known, that he had been transported for robbing a postman; and +the cause of their mirth was the contrast between the general belief, +and his own special account of the crime. + +For my part, I could not join in their mirth. His story had been told +with such an air of truth, that I could not bring myself to disbelieve +it. If not true, the man deserved some consideration for the talent he +had exhibited in the construction of his story: for never was truth +better counterfeited, or fiction more cunningly concealed, under an air +of ingenuous sincerity. + +Volume Three, Chapter XVI. + +THE "ELEPHANT'S" AUTOBIOGRAPHY. + +When tranquillity had been again restored, the "Elephant" was called on +for his autobiography--which was given nearly as follows:-- + +"My father is a `squatter' in New South Wales--where I was myself born. + +"At the age of seventeen, I was sent to England to be educated; and, +being well supplied with money, the design of those who sent me was not +defeated: for I did learn a good deal--although the knowledge I +obtained, was not exactly of the kind my parents had meant me to +acquire. + +"I possessed the strength, and soon acquired the skill, to defeat all my +fellow students in rowing or sculling a boat. I was also the best hand +amongst them with a bat. I became perfect in many other branches of +knowledge, of like utility. During my sojourn in Europe, I made several +trips to Paris--where I obtained an insight into the manners and customs +of that gay capital. + +"My father had a sister living in London--a rich widow, who had an only +daughter. I called on them two or three times, as I could not well +avoid doing so. I was not infatuated with my cousin, nor did my visits +beget in my mind any great affection for my aunt. + +"Her husband had been dead several years before that time. He had been +related to a family of title, and on his death had left a fortune to his +widow of about fifty thousand pounds. + +"My father considered his sister a person of great consequence in the +kingdom; and used to keep up a regular correspondence with her. + +"When I was about twenty-two, I received a letter from him, commanding +me forthwith to marry my cousin! + +"He had made the match with my aunt, without consulting my wishes. + +"The deluded man thought the plan he had formed for me, would make me a +very great personage. But I could not regard the affair in the same +light. + +"Soon after receiving my father's orders, my aunt sent me a note-- +containing a request for me to call upon her. + +"I complied; and found that she considered the thing as quite settled, +that I was forthwith to marry my cousin. In fact, my aunt at this +interview had a good deal to say about preparations for the ceremony! + +"My cousin was neither personally good-looking, nor interesting in any +way. On the contrary, she had a disposition exceedingly disagreeable; +and, to crown all, she was a full half-dozen years older than myself. + +"Soon after that interview with my English relatives, I embarked for +Sydney. I had been for some time anxious to return home. As I have +told you, New South Wales is my native country; and I prefer it to any +other. I had seen enough of Europe; and longed to gallop a horse over +the broad plains of my native land. + +"On my return home, and reporting that I had _not_ married my rich +cousin, my father flew into a great passion, and refused to have +anything farther to do with me. + +"I tried to reason with him; but it was of no use. It ended by his +turning me out of his house; and telling me to go and earn my own +living. This I did for some time, by driving a hackney coach through +the streets of Sydney. + +"My father, on finding that I was man enough to take care of myself, +without requiring any assistance from him, began to take a little +interest in my affairs. In doing so, he discovered something else--that +caused him quite as much displeasure as my refusal to marry my English +cousin. + +"He learnt that I was making serious love to a poor, but honest girl, +who, with her mother, scarce earned a subsistence, by toiling fourteen +hours a day with her needle. + +"To think I should let slip a woman with fifty thousand pounds--and who +could claim relationship with a family of title--and then marry a poor +sewing girl, was proof to my father that I was a downright idiot; and, +from that hour, he refused to acknowledge me as his son. + +"When gold was discovered in these diggings, I gave up my hackney +business, took an affectionate leave of my girl; and came out here. + +"I've been lucky; and I shall start to-morrow for Sydney. I shall find +the one I love waiting for me--I hope, with some impatience; and, if I +don't miscalculate time, we shall be married, before I've been a week in +Sydney. + +"I am young, and have health and strength. With these advantages, I +should not consider myself a man, if, in a new world like this, I +allowed my warmest inclinations to be subdued by the selfish worldly +influences, that control the thoughts and actions of European people." + +I believe the company were a little disappointed in the "Elephant's" +story. From the remarkable character of the man, and the evidence of +superior polish and education--exhibited both in his bearing and +conversation--all had expected a more interesting narrative--something +more than the tale he had told us, and which was altogether too simple +to excite their admiration. Some of them could not help expressing +their surprise--at what they pronounced the silliness of the "Elephant," +in "sacking" a fine lady with _fifty thousand pounds_, and an +aristocratic connection, for a poor Sydney sempstress. To many of them, +this part of the story seemed scarce credible, though, for my part, I +believed every word of it. + +Reasoning from what I knew of the character of the narrator, I felt +convinced that he was incapable of telling an untruth--even to amuse his +audience; and I doubted not that he had refused his rich English cousin; +and was really going to marry the poor sewing girl of Sydney. + +In judging of the Elephant--to use his own words--I did not allow my +"inclinations to be subdued by the selfish worldly influences, that +control the thoughts and actions of European people." + +Volume Three, Chapter XVII. + +SAILOR BILL'S LIFE YARN. + +As the autobiography of the "Elephant," had been of too common-place a +character to create any excitement, there was but little interruption in +the proceedings; and Sailor Bill, according to the conditions, was next +called upon to spin the yarn of his life. + +Without any formality, he at once responded to the call. + +"When a very small boy," began he, "I was what is called a gutter +urchin, or `mud lark,' about the streets and docks of Liverpool. It was +not exactly the business for which I had been intended. When very +young, I had been bound apprentice to a trade I did not much like, and +to a master I liked still less. In fact, I hated the master so much, as +to run away both from him and his trade; and became a ragged wanderer in +the streets. + +"The profits of this profession were not so great, as to allow me to +contract habits of idleness, though, somehow or other, I managed to live +by it for nearly a year. + +"I was one day overhauling some rubbish, that had been thrown into a +gutter, when a man ran against me; and his feet becoming entangled in +the rags that composed my costume, he was tripped up, and fell into the +mud. + +"He immediately got to his feet again; and shook me, until he was so +exhausted and agitated, that he could do so no longer. + +"While he was doing so, I was not idle. With my nails, teeth, and feet, +I scratched, bit, and kicked him--with all the energy passion could +produce. + +"My desperate resistance, instead of further provoking, seemed to make a +favourable impression on the mind of the man: for, as soon as he had +ceased shaking me, he declared that I was `a noble little wretch,' a +`courageous little vagrant,' and many other pet expressions equally +conflicting. + +"Then taking me by the hand, he led me along by his side, at the same +time questioning me about my home and parents. + +"Having satisfied himself, that he had as good a right to me as +anybody--and perhaps a better by my being in his possession--he +continued to drag me onward, all the while muttering to himself, `Dirty +little vagabond! give him in charge to the police. Spirited boy! give +him in charge of my steward.' + +"Favourably impressed with the general expression of his features, I +offered no resistance to his taking me where he liked. The fact is, I +did not care what became of me, for I was independent of either fortune +or circumstances. + +"I was finally carried on board of a ship; and handed over to the care +of her steward, where, for the first time in three years, I had my body +covered with a complete suit of clothes. + +"The man who had thus taken possession of me, was a good-natured, +eccentric old bachelor, about fifty years of age; and was master and +owner of the ship, that traded between Liverpool and Kingston, Jamaica. + +"I remained with this man seven years; and under his tuition, I obtained +something of an education. Had I been his own son, he could not have +shown more zeal, or taken greater pains to teach me. + +"During all that time, his ship was my only home; and I had nothing to +tempt me away from it. It was all the world to me; and of that world I +was not long in acquiring a knowledge. + +"I was about twenty-one years of age, when I was made first officer of +the ship. My father--for as such I had got to esteem the man who raised +me from rags, and out of mud, to something like a human existence--was +going to make one more voyage with me, and then lie by for the rest of +his life--leaving me master of the ship. + +"We were on our return from Kingston, very deeply laden, when we +encountered a severe gale. For some time, we allowed the ship to run +with the wind--in order that we might keep on our course; but the storm +increased; and this could not be done with safety. We were preparing to +lay her head to sea, when a wave rolled over the stern, and swept the +decks fore and aft. The captain--my generous protector--and two of the +sailors, were washed overboard; and we could do nothing to save them. +All three were lost. + +"I took the ship to Liverpool, where a wealthy merchant succeeded to the +captain's property. To make way for some friend of the new owner, I was +discharged from the service--after receiving the few pounds due to me as +wages. + +"The commotion caused by the discovery of the Australian gold-fields, +had then reached Liverpool; and seamen were shipping to Melbourne, +asking only the nominal wages of one shilling a month! I was able to +get a situation as second officer of a brig bound for that port. + +"We had one hundred and twelve passengers; and amongst them was a +bankrupt London merchant, emigrating with a large stock of pride, and a +small stock of merchandise, to the golden land. He was accompanied by +his wife, and a beautiful daughter. To me, this young lady appeared +lovely, modest, intelligent; in short, everything that a young man--who +for the first time had felt the tender passion, could wish its object to +be. + +"I had frequent opportunities of conversing with her--when she would be +seated outside on the poop; and many of my happiest moments were passed +in her society, in those delightful evenings one experiences while +crossing the Line. + +"I was at length made perfectly happy, by the knowledge that there was +one being in the world who felt an interest in my welfare. + +"I soon saw that my attentions to his daughter, were displeasing to the +proud merchant; and I was told by the girl herself: that she had been +commanded to discourage my addresses. + +"I sought an interview with the father; and demanded from him his +reasons for thus rejecting me. I was simply told: that the girl was his +daughter, and that I was only a sailor! + +"That same evening, when on duty, I was spoken to by the captain in a +harsh and ungentlemanly manner. I was in no pleasant humour at the +time: and to be thus addressed, in hearing of so many people--but more +especially in the presence of her I loved--was a degradation I could not +endure. I could not restrain myself, from making a sharp and angry +reply. + +"The captain was a man of very quick temper; and, enraged at my +insolence, he struck me in the face with his open hand. For this +insult, I instantly knocked him down upon the deck. + +"The remainder of the voyage I passed in irons. On arriving at +Williamston, I was sentenced to two months' imprisonment--during which +time I was confined on board a hulk anchored in Hobson's Bay. + +"I made an attempt to escape; and, being unsuccessful, I received a +further sentence of two months' hard labour on the hulk. + +"When at length I received my liberty, I hastened to Melbourne. There I +made inquiries for the merchant, in hopes of being able to obtain an +interview with his daughter, who was then the only being on earth, for +whom I entertained the slightest feeling of friendship. + +"I succeeded in finding the young lady; and was conducted into the +presence of her mother--who, somewhat to my surprise, received me in the +most cordial manner! + +"The old merchant was dead. He had died within a month after landing; +and the goods he had brought with him to the colony--not being suited to +the market--had been sold for little more than the freight out from +England had cost. His widow and her daughter were living by their own +industry--which, I need hardly tell you, was something they had never +done before." + +Here Sailor Bill paused--as if he had got to the end of his story. + +But his listeners were not contented with such a termination. They +believed there must be something more to come--perhaps more interesting +than anything yet revealed; and they clamoured for him to go on, and +give them the finale. + +"There's nothing more," said Bill, in response to the calls of the +company; "at least nothing that would interest any of you." + +"Let us be the judges of that," cried one. "Come, Bill, your story is +not complete--finish it--finish it!" + +"I'm sorry myself it's not finished," rejoined he. "It won't be, I +suppose, until I get back to Melbourne." + +"What then?" inquired several voices. + +"Well then," said Bill, forced into a reluctant confession, "I suppose +it will end by my getting spliced." + +"And to the young lady, with whom you spent those pleasant evenings on +the poop?" + +"Exactly so. I've written to her, to say I'm coming to Melbourne. I +intend to take her and her mother back to England--where they've long +wished to go. Of course it would never do to make such a voyage, +without first splicing the main brace, and securing the craft against +all the dangers of the sea. For that reason, I've proposed to the young +lady, that she and I make the voyage as man and wife; and I'm happy to +tell you that my proposal has been accepted. Now you've got the whole +of my _yarn_." + +And with this characteristic ending, Sailor Bill brought his story to a +termination. + +Volume Three, Chapter XVIII. + +MY BROTHER WILLIAM. + +The next morning, I arose early, and went to Olliphant's tent--to take +leave of him, and his companion Bill. + +I accompanied them to the public-house, from which the stage coach to +Geelong was to start. We stepped inside the house, to have a glass +together. + +"There's a question," said Bill, "that I've often thought of putting to +you. I've heard you called Rowland. Excuse my appearing to be +inquisitive; but I have a strong reason for it. You have some other +name. Will you tell me what it is?" + +There is something extraordinary in the power and quickness of thought. +Suddenly a conviction came over my mind: that I had found my brother! I +felt sure of it. Memory did not assist me much, in making the +discovery. It seemed to come upon me, as if by inspiration! + +It is true, I had something to guide me, in coming to this conclusion. +Sailor Bill had evidently, at some time or other, known a person by the +name of Rowland. It at once entered my mind, that I must be the +individual of whom he had this distant recollection. + +"My name," said I, in answer to his question, "is your own. Is not +yours Stone?" + +"It is," rejoined he, "William Stone." + +"Then we are brothers!" + +"You are the Rolling Stone!" exclaimed Bill, grasping my hand. "How +strange that I did not ask the question, when I first heard you called +Rowland!" + +The excitement caused by our mutual recognition, was of the most +pleasurable character; and, for some moments after the first words, we +both remained speechless. + +`The Elephant' was nearly as much astonished as ourselves, at the +discovery thus made. "What a fool I've been," said he, "not to have +seen long ago that you were brothers. If ever there were two brothers, +I could swear that you two were the pair. I have been blind not to have +told you before--what you have at last found out for yourselves." + +We had no time to do more than exchange mutual congratulations: for the +stage coach was about to start. I immediately paid for a seat; and set +off along with them for Geelong. At the moment, I had along with me all +the gold I had gathered. I had brought it out, for the purpose of +taking it to the Escort Office--as soon as I should bid adieu to my +friends. There was nothing else of much importance to detain me in +Ballarat; and I parted from the place at less than a moment's notice. + +My brother and I found plenty of employment for our tongues, while +making the journey to Melbourne. + +I asked him, if he had been aware of our mother's having followed Mr +Leary to Australia. + +"Yes," said he, "I knew, when she left me in Liverpool, that she was +going to follow the brute out there; and I concluded she had done so." + +"And have you never thought of trying to find her, while you were in +Sydney?" + +"No," said my brother, in a tone of solemnity, "when she deserted me in +Liverpool, to go after that wretch, I felt that I had lost a mother; and +it is my belief, that a mother once lost is never found again." + +"But did it not occur to you that you should have tried to find Martha? +Do you intend leaving the colonies without making some effort to +discover our sister?" + +"Poor little Martha!" exclaimed William, "she was a dear little child. +I would, indeed, like to see her again. Suppose we both try to find +her? I do not believe that if we discover her, we need have any fear of +being ashamed of her. She was once a little angel; and I am sure she +will be a good girl, wherever she is--Oh! I should like to see Martha +once more; but to tell the truth Rowland, I do not care for ever seeing +mother again!" + +I then informed my brother, that his wishes might yet be gratified; and, +as we continued our journey, I gave him a detailed history of the +affairs of the family--so far as I was myself acquainted with them. + +It was by no means an agreeable mode of transit, travelling by stage +coach in the state the roads of Victoria were at the time, yet that was +the happiest day I had ever passed in the colony. William and I kept up +our conversation all day long. We had hardly a word for our companion, +Olliphant; and we were under the necessity of apologising to him. + +"Don't mention it," said the good-hearted Elephant. "I am as happy as +either of you. You are two fellows of the right sort; and I'm glad you +have found each other." + +On our arrival in Melbourne, we all went together to the Union Hotel. +After engaging rooms, we proceeded to the purchase of some clothes--in +order that we might make a respectable appearance in the streets of the +city. My brother was in breathless haste to get himself rigged out; and +we knew his reason. He intended to spend the evening in the society of +his future wife and her mother. + +At an early hour in the afternoon, he took leave of us. + +Olliphant and I were compelled to kill the time the best way we could; +but the trouble of doing so was not great: since there are but few +cities of equal size with Melbourne, where so much time and money are +devoted to the purpose of amusement. + +Next day, I accepted an invitation from my brother, to accompany him on +a visit to his sweetheart. She and her mother were living in a small +house in Collingwood. When we arrived at the door, it was opened by a +rather delicate ladylike woman, about forty years of age. She received +my brother with a pleasant smile; and I was introduced to Mrs Morell. + +The young lady soon made her appearance, from an adjoining room; and, +after greeting my brother in a manner that gave me gratification to +witness, I was introduced to her. + +Sarah Morell was, what might have been called by any one, a pretty girl. +She had not the beauty of my lost Lenore, nor was she perhaps even as +beautiful as my sister Martha; but there was a sweet expression in her +features, a charm in her smile, and a music in her gentle voice, that +were all equally attractive; and I could not help thinking, that my +brother had made choice of a woman worthy of his honest and confiding +love. + +She talked but little, during the interview--allowing most of the +conversation to be carried on by her mother; but, from the little she +did say; and the glance of her eyes--as she fixed them on the manly form +of my brother--I could tell that he was beloved. + +By that glance, I could read pride and reverence for the man upon whom +she had bestowed her heart; and that she felt for him that affection I +once hoped to win from Lenore. + +How superior was my brother's fate to mine! He was beloved by the one +he loved. He was in her presence; and they were soon to be man and +wife. He was happy--happy as youth can be, when blessed with hope, +love, wealth, and health. I was happy also; but it consisted only in +seeing others blessed with the happiness, which I was myself denied. + +After passing some hours in the cheerful companionship, of Mrs and Miss +Morell, my brother and I returned to our hotel--where we found `The +Elephant' in a very unamiable mood. He had just ascertained, that he +would have to stay three days longer in Melbourne: as there was no +steamer to start for Sydney before the third day from that time. + +After a council held between my brother and myself, it was resolved that +I should go on to Sydney with the Elephant; and try to induce our sister +Martha to accompany me back to Melbourne. The pleasure of meeting a +long-lost brother, and of being present at his wedding, we hoped, would +be sufficient inducement to cause her to change her resolution, and +consent to live with relatives, who were only too anxious to support and +protect her. + +Since William had been told of our mother's death, he appeared to take +much more interest in Martha's welfare; and urged upon me, not to come +back to Melbourne, without bringing her along with me. We could not, he +said, feel happy, returning to England, and leaving our sister alone in +the colonies. + +I promised to use every effort in the accomplishment of his wishes-- +which, of course, were but the echoes of my own. + +Miss Morell, on hearing that her lover had a sister in Sydney, insisted +on the marriage being postponed, until Martha should arrive. + +"I am willing to be married the very day your sister comes," said she, +adding in her artless manner, "I shall wait with great impatience until +I have seen her." + +It is hardly necessary to say, that these conditions redoubled William's +anxiety for the speedy arrival of our sister; and, before taking leave +of him, I was compelled to make a most emphatic promise of a speedy +return. Olliphant, without knowing the object of my visit to Sydney, +was gratified to hear that we were to continue our travelling +companionship still further; and in joyous spirits we stepped aboard the +steamer bound to that place. + +Volume Three, Chapter XIX. + +A MILLINER'S YARN. + +The Melbourne steamer made the port of Sydney, at a late hour of the +night. On landing, we proceeded direct to a hotel, where, after some +difficulty, we obtained accommodation for the night. + +In the morning, after eating our breakfast--which in Sydney is the most +important meal of the day--my companion and I walked out into the +streets. We soon parted company--each taking a different direction, +since each had his own affairs to attend to. + +I proceeded direct to the house where I had left my sister, two years +before. I was both surprised, and disappointed, at not finding her +there; and perceiving that the house was no longer a milliner's shop. + +I inquired for the people who formerly occupied the premises; but could +learn nothing of them. + +"I am justly served," thought I, "I should have corresponded with my +sister; and this disappointment could not have happened." + +My relatives had been lost to me once. That should have been a warning. +I should have taken precautions against a recurrence of this +misfortune. Instead of doing so, I had led Martha to believe, that I +had gone back to England; and during my absence had never written to +her. I now perceived how foolishly I had acted; and felt as if I +deserved never to see my sister again. + +I should have been more deeply aggrieved by my conduct, but that I still +entertained the hope of being able to find her. + +Sydney was not a large city; and if my sister was still within its +limits, there was no reason why I should not discover her whereabouts-- +especially with the energy and perseverance I determined to make use of +in the search. + +This search I lost no time in instituting. I turned into the next +street--though rather mechanically than otherwise: for I was still +undecided as to how I should act. + +All at once I remembered, that the woman, with whom Martha had gone into +partnership, was a Mrs Green. I remembered, too, hearing Mrs Green +say, that she had resided in Sydney for several years. Some one, +therefore, should know her; and, if she could be found, it was natural +to infer, that I should learn something of Martha. + +While sauntering along the street, into which I had entered, my eye fell +upon a little shop, which bore the sign of a milliner over the window. +That should be the place for me to commence my inquiries. I entered the +shop, where I saw standing behind a counter the worst-looking woman I +had ever beheld. She was not ugly, from having a positively hideous +face, or ill-formed features; but rather from the spirit that gave +expression to both. It was a combination of wicked passions--comprising +self-esteem, insolence, avarice, and everything that makes human nature +despicable. The woman was dressed in a style that seemed to say: +"vanity for sale." + +I asked her, if she could give me any intelligence of a Mrs Green, who +formerly kept a milliner's shop in the next street. + +A disgusting grin suddenly spread over the features of the woman, as she +promptly replied, "Yes; Mrs Green was chased out of Sydney over a year +ago. She thought to smash my business; but she got smashed herself." + +"Can you tell me where she is to be found?" I inquired. + +"Yes. She saw it wasn't no use to try to carry on business against me; +and she's hooked it to Melbourne." + +"There was a young woman with her, named Martha Stone," I continued, +"can you tell me where _she_ is?" + +"Yes. She's another beauty. I am not at all astonished at young men +inquirin' for _her_. Don't think I am, mister. I've kept that lady +from starving for the last six months; and I'm about tired of it, I can +tell you. This is a nice world we live in, sure enough. What might you +be wantin' with Miss Stone?" + +"I wish to know where she is to be found--nothing more," I answered. + +"Certainly. You wish to know where she is! Of course you do. Why +not?" said the disgusting creature, in a tone, and with a significant +leer, that I have ever since been vainly endeavouring to forget. "What +right have you to think, that I should know where any such a person +lives?" continued the woman. "I wish you to understand, sir, that _I am +a lady_." + +I should certainly never have thought it, without being told; but, not +the least grateful for the information, I answered: + +"You say, that you know where Miss Stone is to be found. I am her +brother, and wish to find her." + +"Oh! that's it, is it?" retorted the woman with a look of evident +disappointment. Then, turning round, and forcing her neck someway up a +narrow staircase, she screamed out, "Susan! Susan!" + +Soon after, a very young girl--apparently half-starved--made her +appearance at the bottom of the stairs. + +"Susan," said the only woman I ever hated at first sight, "tell this +man, where Miss Stone lives." + +There was something not so bad in the creature after all; and I began to +fancy, I had been wronging her. + +"Please, sir," said Susan, pointing with outstretched arm towards one of +the sides of the shop, "go up this street, till you come to the baker's +shop; then turn round this way, and go on till you pass the public-house +with the picture of the horse on it; then turn that way, and go on till +you come to where the house was burnt down; cross the street there, and +go on to the house where they sell lollies; go by that, and at the +turning beyond go this way until you come to the house with the green +window blinds--" + +"That will do," I exclaimed. "I don't want to lose my senses, as well +as my sister. Can you tell me, Susan, the name of the street, and the +number of the house, in which Miss Stone resides?" + +"No, sir, thank you," answered Susan. + +"Can you go there--if this lady will give you leave?" + +"Yes, sir, if you please," said the girl, glancing timidly at her +mistress. + +I thought the mistress would refuse; and even hoped she would. Anxious +as I was to find my sister, I did not like to receive even so slight a +favour from one whom I had hated with so very little exertion. + +The woman, contrary to my expectations, consented to the child's going +out to show me the way; and I am so uncharitable as to believe, that her +consent was given with the hope that, in finding my sister, I should +meet with some chagrin! + +I followed Susan through the streets, until we came to a dirty, wretched +suburb of the city, where the girl pointed out a house, and told me to +knock at the door. + +Giving the poor little slavey half-a-crown, I sent her away; and, the +next minute, my sister was sobbing in my arms. + +Everything in the room proclaimed her to be in the greatest poverty. +Strange that I did not regret it; but, on the contrary, was gratified by +the appearance of her destitution! It was proof that she was still +virtuous and honest. Moreover, I fancied she would now be the more +willing to accept the protection, I had come to offer her. She was +under the impression, that I had just returned from England. When I +undeceived her on this point, she seemed much grieved, that I had been +so long in the colonies, without letting her know it. + +I soon learnt from her the simple story of her life, since our last +parting. At the time she had joined Mrs Green in business, the latter +was deeply in debt; and, in about three months after, all the stock in +the little shop was sold off to meet Mrs Green's liabilities. Their +business was broken up; and Mrs Green had gone to Melbourne--as her +rival had stated. Martha had obtained employment in two or three +milliner's establishments in the city; and, as she blushingly told me, +had good reasons for leaving them all. + +She was now making a sort of livelihood, by working for anyone who +chanced to have sewing to give her; and was obtaining occasional, but +ill paid employment, from the lady who had assisted me in finding her. + +"Oh, Rowland!" said Martha, "that woman is the worst that ever lived. +She never lets me have a piece of sewing, at a price that will allow me +more than bread and water, and yet I have been obliged to take it from +her, because I cannot get enough sewing elsewhere. I often work from +six o'clock in the morning till ten at night--when I can get anything to +do; and yet I've often been very, very hungry. I'm sure it is as bad +here, as the stories I've heard about poor sempstresses in London. Ah, +brother! Good girls are not wanted in this place. People seem only to +care for those who are bad; and while they have everything they wish, +girls like me must live as you see I've been doing. Oh, Rowland! is it +not a cruel world?" + +I was much gratified at hearing my sister talk in this manner: for each +word was evidence, that she had been leading an honourable life; and, +moreover, her despondency led me to believe: that she would no longer +oppose my projects, as she had previously done. + +It was all for the best, that she had not done as I wished her two years +before. Had she then consented to returning with me to England, I +should have gone thither--notwithstanding my disappointment about +Lenore. By doing so, I should have missed meeting my brother--besides I +should have lost the opportunity of making above fifteen hundred +pounds--which I had gathered on the gold-fields of Victoria. + +Volume Three, Chapter XX. + +MY SISTER STILL OBSTINATE. + +I had been some little time in my sister's company, before telling her +of my intentions regarding her. I had allowed her to indulge in such +conjectures about my designs, as the circumstances might suggest. + +"I am very glad, Rowland," said she, "that you have made up your mind to +stay in the colonies. I hope you will live in Sydney. Oh! we would be +so happy! You have come to stay here, have you not? Say yes, brother; +and make me happy! Say you will not leave me any more?" + +"I do not wish to leave you, dear sister," said I; "and I hope that you +have now learnt a lesson, that will make you willing to accept the offer +I am going to make you. I have come, Martha, to take you with me to +Melbourne." + +"What reason can you have, for wishing me to go to Melbourne? It cannot +be a better place than Sydney?" + +"Are you still unwilling to leave Sydney?" I asked, with a painful +presentiment, that I was once more to be baulked in my design of making +my poor sister happy. + +"Brother," she replied, "I am not willing to go to Melbourne. I don't +wish to leave Sydney--at least, not yet." + +"Would you not like to see your brother William?" I asked. + +"What! William! dear little Willie! Have you heard of him, Rowland? +Do you know where he is?" + +"Yes. He is in Melbourne; and very anxious to see you. I have come to +take you to him. Will you go?" + +"I must see William--my long-lost brother William! I must see him. How +came you to find him, Rowland? Tell me all about it. Why did he not +come here along with you?" + +"We met by mere chance--on the diggings of Victoria; and, hearing me +called Rowland, he asked my other name. We then recognised one another. +Little Willie--as you call him--is now a tall, fine-looking young man. +Next week he is going to be married to a beautiful girl. I have come to +take you to the wedding. Will you go, Martha?" + +"I don't know. I must see brother William. What shall I do? What +shall I do? I cannot leave Sydney." + +"Martha," said I, "I am your brother; and am willing to assist you in +any manner possible. I am older than you; and we have no parents. I +have the right to some authority over you; and now demand the reason, +why you are not willing to go with me to Melbourne?" + +My sister remained silent. + +"Give me a straightforward answer," I cried in a tone that partook of +command. "Tell me why you will not go?" + +"Oh, brother!--because--because I am waiting here for some one--one who +has promised--to return to me." + +"A man, of course?" + +"Yes, yes--a man--a true man, Rowland." + +"Where has he gone; and how long is it, since you have seen him?" I +asked, unable to conceal my indignant sorrow. + +"He went to the diggings in Victoria, a little more than two years ago. +Before going, he told me to wait, until he should come back; and then he +would marry me." + +"Martha! is it possible that this is your only reason for not going with +me?" + +"It is--my only one--I cannot go. _I must wait for him_!" + +"Then you are as foolish, as our poor mother was in waiting for Mr +Leary. The man who promised to return and marry you, has probably +forgotten both his promise and you, long before this. Very likely he +has married some other. I thought you had more sense, than to believe +every idle word spoken by idle tongues. The man for whom you are making +yourself miserable, would laugh at your simplicity, if he only knew of +it. He has probably forgotten your name. Cease to think of him, dear +sister; and make both yourself, and your brothers, happy!" + +"Do not call me a fool, Rowland--do not think me one! I know I should +be, if I was waiting for any common man; but the one I love is not a +common man. He promised to return; and unless he dies, I am sure he +will keep his word. I know it would be folly to have trusted most men +as I've done him; but he's not like others. I shall yet be happy. To +wait for him is but my duty; do not urge me to neglect it." + +"Oh, Martha! our poor mother thought about Mr Leary, just as you do +about this man. She thought him true to her--the best husband in the +world! You may be as much mistaken as she was. I advise you to think +no more of him, but go with me. Look around you! See the wretched +state in which you are living! Leave it for a happy home, with those +who will truly love you." + +"Do not talk to me so, Rowland, or you will drive me mad. I wish to go +with you, and wish to see William; but I cannot, and must not leave +Sydney!" + +It was evident to me, that my sister was afflicted with the same +delusion, that had enslaved our mother even unto death; and, with much +regret, I became conscious of the folly of trying to induce her to act +in a rational manner. I saw that common sense, reason, persuasion, or +threats, would all be alike unavailing to obtain compliance with my +wishes. The little I had seen of her sex, had impressed me with the +belief that no woman ever exhibited such blind faith and full confidence +in a man worthy of the least regard; and I was willing to stake my +existence, that my sister's lover was a fellow of no principle--some low +blackguard of a similar stamp to the late Mr Leary. I could not +suppose him to be quite so bad as Leary: for that to me would have +appeared impossible. + +I was greatly chagrined to think my kind intentions towards Martha +should be thwarted by her folly. I was even angry. Perhaps it was +unmanly in me to be so. My sister was unfortunate. No doubt she had +been deluded; and could not help her misfortune. She was more an object +for pity than anger; but I was angry, and could not restrain myself from +showing it. Conscious of my upright and disinterested regard for her, I +could not help thinking it ungrateful of her, thus to oppose my designs +for her welfare. + +"Martha," said I, "I ask you once more to go with me. By doing so, you +will fulfil a sister's duty as well as seek your own welfare. Reject my +offer now, and it will never be made again: for we shall part for ever, +I will leave you to the misery, you seem not only to desire, but +deserve." + +"Rowland! Rowland!" exclaimed she, throwing her arms around my neck, "I +cannot part from you thus. Do not leave me. You must not--you must +not!" + +"Will you go with me?" I asked, too much excited to listen patiently to +her entreaties. + +"Rowland, do not ask me! May heaven help me; I cannot go!" + +"Then, farewell!" I cried, "farewell for ever!" and as I uttered the +parting speech, I tore myself from her embrace, and hurried half frantic +out of the room. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXI. + +MY SISTER'S SWEETHEART. + +On leaving the house, my soul was stirred by conflicting emotions. I +was wild with disappointment, sorrow and indignation. + +It was wrong to part with my poor sister in such fashion; and my +conscience told me so, before I had proceeded two hundred yards along +the street. I should at least have given her some money, to relieve her +from the extreme necessity which she was evidently in. + +A moment's reflection, as I stopped in the street, told me it was my +duty to do this, if nothing more. + +I thought of sending her a few pounds after getting back to the hotel. +Then succeeded the reflection, that to do so would be more trouble, than +to turn back, and give it to her myself. This thought decided me to +return to the house, and see her once more. I retraced my steps; and +again knocked at the door. + +For some moments there was no answer; and I knocked again. I waited for +nearly two minutes; and still there was no sign of my summons being +answered. + +I was on the point of bursting in the door, when it was opened by a man, +whose huge frame almost filled the entrance from jamb to jamb. It was +the Elephant! The truth instantly flashed upon my mind. It was for +_him_ my sister had been waiting! She--was the sempstress for whom he +had been toiling--the young girl spoken of in his story--she, whom he +had said, he was going to return and marry! + +Martha had flung herself into a chair; and appeared insensible. + +I cannot remember that either Olliphant or I spoke on seeing one +another. Each was too much surprised at meeting the other. And yet +neither of us thought, there was anything strange in the circumstance. +Let those, who can, explain the singularity of our sentiments at that +encounter. I cannot, and therefore shall not make the attempt. The +attention of both of us was soon called to Martha, who had recovered +consciousness. + +"I thank God!" she cried out addressing me, "I thank God, Rowland, you +have returned. You see, he has come back!" she continued, placing her +hand on the broad shoulder of `the Elephant.' "I knew he would. I told +you he was certain to come; and that it was not possible for him to +deceive me. This is my brother, Alex," she added, turning to Olliphant. +"He wanted me to leave you; but don't blame him: for he did not know +you, as I did. I've seen hard times, Alex; but the joy of this moment +more than repays me for all." + +It was some time before Olliphant and I had an opportunity of +communicating with each other: for Martha seemed determined that no one +should have anything to say but herself. + +"What fools we have been!" exclaimed Olliphant, as soon as his +sweetheart gave him a chance of speaking. "Had you told me that your +name was Stone, and that you had a sister in Sydney, how much more +pleasure we should have had in one another's society! You have nearly +missed finding your brother; and either you or I have nearly lost your +sister by keeping your name a secret. I know that for a man to talk to +others of his family affairs is not strict etiquette; but the rules of +that are often made by those who are only respected because they are +unknown; or rather, because nothing concerning them can be told to their +credit." + +"You and I have been friends," continued the Elephant, still addressing +his discourse to me. "Why should we have cared for etiquette? We ought +to have acted independently of its requirements. Depend upon it, that +open-hearted candour is ever preferable to secrecy." + +I assured Olliphant, that I was convinced of the truth of this doctrine +by late events; and that it was also my belief, an honest man has very +little on his mind that need be concealed from his acquaintances. + +The scene that followed was one of unalloyed happiness. It ended in the +determination--that we should all three at once proceed to Melbourne; +and that Olliphant and Martha should be married at the same time that my +brother was to be united to Miss Morell. + +It was ludicrous to witness the change, that had suddenly taken place in +the sentiments of Martha. She no longer offered the slightest objection +to leaving Sydney; but on the contrary, declared herself delighted at +the prospect of going to Melbourne--a place, she said, she had been long +desirous of seeing! + +During the evening, the little slavey, Sarah, came over from the +milliner's shop, with a bundle of sewing materials--which Martha was +required to make up immediately. + +"Tell your mistress," said Martha, "that I cannot afford to do any more +work for her: for she does not pay me enough for it. Tell her, that I +hope she will not be much disappointed; but that I really cannot sew any +more for her. Will you tell her that?" + +"Yes, thank you!" said Sarah, "but I don't think she'll be much +disappointed: for she said she did not think you would do any more work +now; and she only sent it to see." + +We had enough to talk about that evening. Olliphant had been acquainted +with our poor mother; and expressed much regret that she had died so +unhappily. + +We all had explanations to make; and Olliphant and I listened with equal +interest to a long recital of my sister's struggle to maintain herself, +and to an explanation of her sorrow at being unable to comply with my +request, when I had entreated her to leave Sydney. + +This confession was as pleasant to me as to the Elephant; but perhaps +still pleasanter was it for him to hear that, during his long absence, +she had never felt a doubt about his returning, and that such a +suspicion had never remained for an instant in her mind. + +As events had turned out, I could not regret that my sister had been, +what I had too rashly termed foolish; and that her faith in Olliphant's +promise had remained unshaken under such strong temptations, as those to +which she had been subjected. + +She had proved herself worthy of a good husband; and there was no one, +whom I should have preferred seeing her united to, before the man, for +whom she had so long and patiently waited. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXII. + +AT SEA. + +On the third day after my arrival in Sydney, I started back for +Melbourne, in the steamer "Warratah," accompanied by Olliphant and +Martha. + +On arriving at Melbourne, my sister was taken to the residence of Mrs +Morell, where she had the pleasure of meeting her brother William; and +making the acquaintance of her future sister-in-law. + +Sarah Morell and Martha became warm friends upon sight; and on the +evening of our return, a more happy party, than the one assembled in +Mrs Morell's cottage, could not have been found in the colony. + +At intervals, a thought of my own life-long disappointment would flash +across my mind; but the sight of so many happy faces around me, would +soon restore me to a feeling of tranquil contentment. + +Next day, preparations were made for the double marriage, which took +place shortly after. + +The occasion was not marked by any grand ceremonial display--such as I +have often witnessed at the "weddings" of lucky gold-diggers. All the +arrangements were conducted with the same sense of propriety and taste, +that appeared to have guided the previous conduct of the principal +parties concerned. + +My brother's honeymoon tour, was to be a voyage in the first ship that +should sail for England. As I did not much like the idea of separating +from him so soon; and, having no great desire to return to the diggings, +I resolved to accompany him. + +Olliphant and Martha only remained in Melbourne, until they should see +us off, when they intended returning to Sydney to reside permanently in +that city. The Elephant had gathered gold enough to set him up in some +respectable business; and it was but natural he should prefer New South +Wales--his native country--to any other. I knew that to my sister, all +places were now alike; so long as she should be with her husband. + +I do not much like travelling in a ship, where there is a large number +of passengers. It is something like going out for a walk, along a +street crowded with people. When there are many passengers in a vessel, +there are likely to be some of a very disagreeable disposition, that +will be sure to make itself manifest during the voyage. Moreover, in a +crowded ship, the regulations require to be more rigidly enforced--thus +rendering the passage more irksome to all. There is much greater +freedom of action, and generally more amusement, on board a ship +carrying only a limited number of passengers. For this reason, we took +passage in the first cabin of a small vessel--where we knew there would +be only about twenty others besides ourselves. + +The ship was bound direct for the port of London; the captain, whose +name was Nowell, was to all appearance a gentleman; the accommodation, +as regarded room and other necessary requirements, was satisfactory; and +we set sail, with every prospect of a pleasant voyage. + +As Captain Nowell was a man of sociable inclinings, he soon became a +favourite with all his passengers. Between him and myself an intimacy +arose; and I passed much of my time in his company--either at chess, or +in talking about subjects connected with his calling, which I had not +altogether forgotten. He appeared to take an interest in my future +welfare; so much so, as frequently to converse with me on the subject of +my getting married. + +"Lucky gold-diggers," said he, "often go home in my ship in search of a +wife; and not unfrequently get cheated in the quality of the article. +As I have some experience in matrimonial matters, you can't do better +than let me choose a wife for you. Besides," he continued, "I have a +young lady in view, that I think would just suit you. I have long been +in search of a good husband for her; but have not yet met with a man, to +whom I should think of confiding her happiness. From what I have seen +of you, Mr Stone, I fancy I could trust her to your keeping." + +Though perfectly indifferent about the captain's protegee, I could not +help acknowledging the compliment. + +"I only ask of you," he continued, "to make no rash engagements, after +you arrive in England. Do nothing in that line till you have seen the +girl; and then if you don't like her, there's no harm done." + +I thanked the captain for his offer; and sighed, as I thought of the +cruel fate, that had placed an impassible barrier between me and Lenore. + +There is one thing in my narrative, that may appear remarkable to the +reader--perhaps scarce truthful; and that is, the facility with which I +made so many friends. An explanation of this may not be out of place. + +I was always in earnest in what little I had to say. No one could +converse long with me, without discovering that I was sincere in what I +said. I do not claim this as a trait of character peculiar to myself; +but I do affirm--as far as my experience has instructed me--that it is +not so with the majority of mankind. Language is too often used, as the +means for concealing thoughts--instead of expressing them. + +Thousands of people say what they do not mean; and sometimes gain +friends by it. But it is a friendship false as it is fleeting; and +often confers on him who obtains it, more disappointment and trouble, +than he would be likely to have with avowed enemies. + +Nothing transpired during our home voyage, worthy of particular notice. +After passing some small islands, that lie near the coast of Port +Philip, we never sighted land again for three months! + +On the ninety-second day of our voyage, the cheering cry of "Land ho!" +resounded through the ship; and, hastening on deck, we looked upon the +white cliffs of Dover. + +Great was the joy of Mrs Morell and her daughter, at once more +beholding their native shores; and I could envy my brother, who had +contributed so much to the happiness of others, and at the same time so +successfully established his own. + +We landed at Portsmouth; and proceeded to London by rail. Before +parting with Captain Nowell--who had to remain a few days with his +ship--I promised to visit him in his London house--the address of which +he had already made known to me. + +A few hours after, I entered, for the first time, within the limits of +the world's metropolis. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXIII. + +LIFE IN LONDON. + +After staying one night at a hotel, we went into private lodgings at +Brompton. + +For several days after our arrival, my brother was employed in the +pleasant duty of escorting his wife and mother-in-law--on a round of +visits to their numerous old acquaintances, while I was left to wander +alone through the streets of the stupendous city. I had anticipated +some little pleasure in visiting the far-famed metropolis; but in this I +was disappointed; and soon began to feel regret for having left behind +me the free life I had been pursuing on the gold-fields. + +I had some business, however, to transact, even in London. The gold I +had obtained in California--along with that bequeathed to me by poor old +Stormy Jack--had been forwarded to the Bank of England; and about a week +after my arrival, I went down to the city, to draw out the money deposit +that was due to me. On presenting myself to the cashier, I was told +that it would be necessary for me to bring some responsible person, to +say that my name was Rowland Stone. This individual must be known to +the authorities of the Bank. + +This requirement placed me in a little dilemma. Where was I to find a +sponsor? I was a perfect stranger in London. So were my travelling +companions. I knew not a soul belonging to the great city--much less +one who should be known to the magnates of the Bank. + +To whom should I apply? + +When I had mentally repeated this question, for the twentieth time, I +bethought me of Captain Nowell. He should be the very man. + +I at once hailed a cab; and drove to the address he had given me. +Fortunately he had arrived from Portsmouth; and was at home. + +Without a moment's hesitation, he accompanied me to the Bank, where +everything was satisfactorily arranged. Instead of drawing out the +deposit, I added to it, by paying in an additional sum--consisting of +the gold I had gathered in Australia. My only object in troubling +myself about it at the time, was to make sure that the gold I had +forwarded from California had arrived safely, and was otherwise "all +right." + +Before parting with Captain Nowell, he requested to know why I had not +gone to his house to see him sooner. + +"Your coming to-day," he said, "was not a visit; and I shan't take it as +such. You only came to trouble me on business for which you needed me, +or probably I should not have seen you at all. You must pay me a +regular visit. Come to-morrow; or any time that best suits your +convenience. You know my style at sea? You'll find me just the same +ashore. Don't forget that I've something to show you--something you had +better have a look at, before you choose elsewhere." + +I gave the kind-hearted Captain my promise to call upon him--though not +from any inclination to be assisted by him in the way he seemed to wish. +The finding a wife was a thing that was far--very far from my thoughts. + +Several days had elapsed after my interview with Captain Nowell; and +each day I was becoming more discontented, with the life I was leading +in London. My brother, his wife, and Mrs Morell, were very kind to me; +and strove to make me as happy as possible. But much of their time was +taken up in paying visits, or spent in amusements, in which I could feel +no interest. I soon found that to be contented, it would be necessary +for me, either to take an active part in the busy scenes of life, or be +in possession of great domestic happiness. The latter I could never +expect to attain; and London appeared to present no employment so well +suited to my disposition and habits, as that I had followed upon the +gold-fields. + +I might have passed some of my time very pleasantly in the company of +Captain Nowell; but I was prevented from availing myself of that +pleasure--even of paying my promised visit to him--by the very thing +that might otherwise have attracted me. I had no desire to form the +acquaintance of the young lady, he had spoken of; and for me to call at +his house might give occasion for him, as well as others, to think +differently. + +I admit that I may have been over-scrupulous in this matter: since +Captain Nowell and I had become fast, and intimate friends. But from +what he had already said, I could not visit the young lady, and remain +indifferent to her, without the conclusion being come to, that I thought +her unworthy of my regard, and that, after seeing, I had formed an +unfavourable opinion of her. It may have been silliness on my part; +allowing such a thought to prevent my visiting a friend; but, as I had +not come to London wife-hunting, I did not desire others to think that I +had. To me, matrimony was no more a pleasant subject for +contemplation--especially when it referred to myself--and the few words, +spoken to me by the captain on that theme, had been sufficient to defeat +the only object he probably had any particular wish to attain: that I +should call upon him and partake of his hospitality. + +About a month after our arrival in London, I inquired at the General +Post Office for letters from Australia; and had the pleasure of +receiving two. One was from Olliphant, the other from my sister. +Martha's was a true woman's letter: that could be read once by the +recipient, and then easily forgotten. It was full of kind words for all +of us in London; but the only information to be obtained from it was, +that she thought well of everybody, and was herself exceedingly happy. + +Perhaps I was more gratified with the contents of Olliphant's letter, +from which I select the following extract:-- + +"On our return to Sydney, I learnt that my father had just got back from +a visit to England--which he had long before determined on making. I +was very anxious to see him, in the hope that we might become friends +again; but, knowing that the first advances towards a reconciliation +must come from himself, I would not go to him. I could not think of +acknowledging myself sorry, for having done that which I knew to be +right. The only step I could make, towards the accomplishment of my +wishes, was to put myself in communication with a mutual friend; and let +him know that I had returned to Sydney. I did not omit to add, that I +had returned from the diggings with a full purse: for I knew that this +would also be communicated to my father, and might have some effect upon +him of a favourable character. + +"It appeared as if I had not been mistaken. Three days after, the +governor called at the hotel where I was staying; and met me as a father +should meet a son, whom he has not seen for more than three years. I +was no little surprised at the turn things had taken: for, knowing the +old gentleman's obstinate disposition, I did not expect a settlement +either so prompt, or satisfactory. I presumed it would take some time +and trouble, to get on good terms with him again. + +"He seemed greatly pleased with Martha's appearance; and they became +fast friends all at once. + +"`I like the look of you,' said he to her, `and am willing to believe +that you are worthy of Alex; and that is saying a good deal for you. +Ah, my son,' continued he, addressing himself to me, `had you brought +home your London cousin for a wife--as I commanded you to do--should +certainly have horsewhipped you on your return. When I came to see her +in London, I soon changed my mind about her. She is nothing but an ugly +silly fool; and too conceited to know it. I admire your spirit for +disobeying orders, and marrying a girl, whom I am not ashamed to +acknowledge as my daughter.' + +"We shall leave town to-morrow for my father's station; and the only +thing we require now to make us perfectly happy, is the company of +yourself, William and his wife, I hope that after you have tried the +`Old Country' for a few weeks, you will believe, as I do, that it is +only a place for flunkeys and snobs; and that every young man of +enterprise and energy should come out here, where life can be spent to +some purpose--worthy of the toil that all ought to endure. I shall +expect to see you in Sydney within the next year." + +There was a strong suspicion in my mind, that "The Elephant" was right, +in believing I would soon return to the colonies. Why should I remain +in London? I could be nothing there. It was different with my brother. +He might now be happy anywhere. He only wanted a spot, where he might +tranquilly await his final departure from the world, while I was a +Rolling Stone that must roll on--or be miserable. + +The more consideration I gave to the circumstance, the more determined +did I become to part from London: and go to some land, where youth and +health were worth possessing. I could feel that the blessings, Nature +had bestowed on me were not worth much in London, where men are enslaved +by customs and laws that subject the million to the dominion of the few. +I determined, therefore, on going, where I should be regarded as the +equal of those around me, where there was room for me to move, without +the danger of being crushed by a crowd of self-sufficient creatures-- +most of whom were in reality more insignificant than myself. I should +join "The Elephant" in New South Wales; and perhaps become a man of some +influence in a land where the sun is to be seen every day. + +I at this time regretted, that I had ever been a Rolling Stone. I +believed that a man may be happier who has never wandered from home to +learn lessons of discontent, and become the slave of desires, that in +one place can never be gratified. Each spot of earth has its peculiar +advantages, and is in some respects superior to all others. By +wandering in many lands, and partaking of their respective pleasures, we +become imbued with many desires to which we look back with regret when +they can no longer be gratified. After residing in a tropical climate, +who can encounter the chilling blasts of a northern winter, without +longing: + + "For green verandahs hung with flowers, + For marble founts, and orange bowers?" + +And when nearly cooked by the scorching sun--when tortured at every turn +by reptiles, and maddened by the worry of winged insects--we sigh for +the bracing breezes of a northern clime, and the social joys of the +homes which are there found--a happiness such as my brother might now be +permitted to enjoy, but which was for ever denied to me. + +With such reflections constantly passing through my mind, I felt that +London, large as it was, could not contain me much longer; and I only +waited, until some slight turning of Fortune's wheel would bestir me to +make a fresh start for the Antipodes. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXIV. + +OLD ACQUAINTANCES. + +One day, while riding inside a "bus" along the Strand, and gazing out +through the slides, I amused myself by looking at the "fares" seated +upon the "knife-board," or rather their images, reflected in the +plate-glass windows of the shops in front of which we were passing. + +While thus engaged, my attention became more especially fixed upon one +of my fellow passengers so reflected; and, on continuing my second-hand +scrutiny, I became convinced that an old acquaintance was directly over +my head. I requested the conductor to stop the "bus," and, upon his +doing so, I got out, and climbed to the top of it. On raising my eyes +to a level with the roof, I saw that I had not been mistaken. Cannon, +whom I had last seen in Melbourne, was one of the row of individuals +that occupied the knife-board. + +We got off the "bus" at Charing Cross, stepped into Morley's Hotel, and +ordered "dinner for two." + +"Cannon," said I, "how came you to be here? I left you in Melbourne, +without any money. How did you get a passage home?" + +"Well," replied Cannon, with a peculiar grin, "it's easily explained. +My well-wishing friends here sent me a little money, which came to hand, +shortly after I saw you. I knew why they did it. They were afraid, +that I might get hard up out there, and, someway or other find my way +home. They weren't so cunning as they thought themselves. On receiving +their cheque, I did with it, just what they didn't intend I should do. +I paid my passage home with the money, for fear I mightn't have the +chance again; and I'll take precious good care, they don't send me out +of England a second time--not if I can help it." + +"What has become of Vane?" I asked. + +"Vane! the damned insidious viper! I don't like to say anything about +him. He had some money left him here; and got back to England, before I +did. He's here now." + +"And how are our friends up the Yarra Yarra. Have you heard anything of +them, since we were there together?" + +"Yes; and seen them, too--several times. They were well the last time I +saw them. I mean well in bodily health; but I think a little wrong in +the mind. They became great friends with that fellow Vane." + +I noticed that Cannon, although he had said that he did not like to say +anything about Vane, kept continually alluding to him during the two or +three hours that we were together; and always spoke of him with some +show of animosity. + +I could see that the two men were friends no longer. I was not +inquisitive as to the cause of their misunderstanding--probably for the +reason, that I took very little interest in the affairs of either. + +"Are you in any business here?" asked Cannon, when we were about to +separate. + +"No," I replied, "I don't desire to go into business in London; and, as +I can find but little to amuse me, I am thinking of returning to +Australia." + +"Ah! that's strange," rejoined Cannon. "Perhaps the reason why you are +not amused, is because you are a stranger here, and have but little +society. Come along with me, and I will introduce you to some of my +friends, who can show you some London life. Will you promise to meet me +here to-morrow, at half-past ten o'clock?" + +I did not like giving the promise; but Cannon would take no denial; and, +having nothing else to do, I agreed to meet him, at the time and place +he had mentioned. After that we shook hands, and parted. + +Though not particularly caring about either of them, I liked Vane less +than I did Cannon. I was not at all surprised to find that a +disagreement had sprung up between them. In fact, I would rather have +felt surprised, to hear that they had remained so long in each other's +society without having had a quarrel. Cannon, with all his faults, had +some good qualities about him, enough to have rendered him unsuitable as +a "chum" for the other; and I had anticipated a speedy termination of +their friendship. I knew that Vane must have done something very +displeasing to Cannon, else the other would scarce have made use of such +strong expressions, while speaking of his old associate. Cannon, when +not excited by passion, was rather guarded in his language; and rarely +expressed his opinions in a rash or inconsiderate manner. + +Next morning, I met him according to appointment; and we drove to a +cottage in Saint John's Wood--where he proposed introducing me to some +of his English acquaintances. We were conducted into a parlour; and the +servant was requested to announce, "Mr Cannon and friend." + +The door was soon after opened; and Jessie H--stood before me! + +On seeing me, she did not speak; but dropped down into a sofa; and for +some time seemed unconscious, that there was anyone in the room. + +It was cruel of Cannon thus to bring us again together; and yet he did +not appear to be the least punished, although present at a scene that +was painful to both of us. On the contrary, he seemed rather pleased at +the emotion called forth upon the occasion. + +Jessie soon recovered command of herself, but I could easily perceive, +that her tranquil demeanour was artificial and assumed--altogether +unlike her natural bearing, when I knew her on the banks of the Yarra +Yarra. + +Cannon strove hard to keep alive a conversation; but the task of doing +so was left altogether to himself. I could give him but little help; +and from Jessie he received no assistance whatever. The painful +interview was interrupted by the entrance of Mr H--, whose deportment +towards us, seemed even more altered than that of his daughter. + +I could easily perceive, that he did not regard either Cannon, or +myself, with any feeling of cordiality. + +We were soon after joined by Mrs H--, who met us in a more friendly +manner than her husband; and yet she, too, seemed acting under some +restraint. + +While Cannon engaged the attention of Mr and Mrs H--, I had a few +words with Jessie. + +She requested me to call, and see them again; but, not liking the manner +in which her father had received me, I declined making a promise. To my +surprise--and a little to my regret--she insisted upon it; and appointed +the next morning, at eleven o'clock--when she and her mother would be +alone. + +"I am very unhappy, Rowland," muttered she, in an undertone. "I seldom +see anyone whom I care for. Do come, and see us to-morrow. Will you +promise?" + +I could not be so rude--might I say cruel--as to refuse. + +Our stay was not prolonged. Before we came away, Mrs H--also invited +us to call again; but I noticed that this invitation, when given, was +not intended to be heard by her husband. + +"Little Rose is at school," said she, "and you must come to see her. +She is always talking of you. When she hears that you are in London, +she will be wild to see you." + +After our departure, my companion, who already knew my address, gave me +his; and we separated, under a mutual agreement to meet soon again. + +There was much, in what had just transpired, that I could not +comprehend. + +Why had Cannon not told me that Mr H--and his family were in London, +before taking me to see them? Why had he pretended that he was going to +introduce me to some of his London friends? I could answer these +questions only by supposing, that he believed I would not have +accompanied him, had I known on whom we were about to call. + +He might well have believed this--remembering the unceremonious manner +in which I had parted from his friends, at the time we visited them on +the Yarra Yarra. But why should he wish me to visit them again--if he +thought that I had no desire to do so? + +This was a question for which I could find no reasonable answer. I felt +certain he must have acted from some motive, but what it was, I could +not surmise. Perhaps I should learn something about it next day, during +the visit I had promised to make to Jessie. She was artless and +confiding; so much so, that I felt certain she would tell me all that +had taken place, since that painful parting on the banks of the Yarra +Yarra. + +Long after leaving the house in Saint John's Wood, I found occupation +for my thoughts. I was the victim of reflections, both varied and +vexatious. + +By causing us to come together again, Fate seemed to intend the +infliction of a curse, and not the bestowal of a blessing! + +I asked myself many questions. Would a further acquaintance with Jessie +subdue within my soul the memories of Lenore? Did I wish that such +should be the case? + +Over these questions I pondered long, and painfully--only to find them +unanswered. + +Jessie H--was beautiful beyond a doubt. There was a charm in her beauty +that might have won many a heart; and mine had not been in different to +it. There was music in her voice--as it gave utterance to the thoughts +of her pure, artless mind to which I liked to listen. And yet there was +something in my remembrance of Lenore--who had never loved me, and who +could never be mine--sweeter and more enchanting than the music of +Jessie's voice, or the beauty of her person! + +Volume Three, Chapter XXV. + +JESSIE'S SUITOR. + +Next morning I repeated my visit to Saint John's Wood. I again saw +Jessie. She expressed herself much pleased to see me; but upon her +features was an expression that pained me to behold. That face, once +bright and joyous, and still beautiful, gave evidence that some secret +sorrow was weighing upon her heart. + +"I know not whether I ought to be glad, or grieved, Rowland," said she. +"I am certainly pleased to see you. Nothing could give me greater joy; +and yet I know that our meeting again must bring me much sorrow." + +"How can this be?" I asked, pretending not to understand her. + +"Ever since you left us on the Yarra Yarra, I have been trying to forget +you. I had resolved not to see you again. And now, alas! my resolves +have all been in vain. I know it is a misfortune for me to have met +you; and yet I seem to welcome it. It was wrong of you to come here +yesterday; and yet I could bless you for coming." + +"My calling here yesterday," said I, "may have been an unfortunate +circumstance, though not any fault of mine. I knew not, until I entered +this house, but that you were still in Australia. Mr Cannon deceived +me; he proposed introducing me to some of his London friends who lived +here. Had I known on whom we were going to call, for my own happiness, +I should not have accompanied him." + +"Rowland, you are cruel!" + +"How can you say so, when you've told me it was wrong for me to come? +Jessie! there is something in this I do not understand. Tell me, why it +is wrong for me to have seen you, while, at the same time, you say you +are pleased at it?" + +"Rowland, spare me! Speak no more of this. Let us talk of other +things." + +I did my best to obey her; and we conversed nearly an hour, upon such +topics as suggested themselves, until our _tete-a-tete_ was interrupted +by the entrance of Mrs H--. + +I could not well bid adieu to them, without promising to call again: for +I had not yet seen little Rosa. + +After my return home, I sate down to reflect upon the conversation I had +had with Jessie--as also to seek some explanation of what had appeared +mysterious in the conduct, not only of Cannon, but of Jessie's father +and mother. + +I had learnt that Mr H--, like many of the Australian wool growers, +after having made his fortune in the colonies, had returned to his +native land--intending to end his days in London. + +I had also learnt that Vane--after that occasion on which he accompanied +Cannon and myself, had often revisited the family on the Yarra Yarra; +and had become a professed candidate for the hand of Jessie. + +In the colony he had received but little encouragement to continue his +advances, either from her father or mother. Since their arrival in +London, however, Vane had come into possession of some property; and Mr +H--had not only listened with favour to his proposals, but was strongly +urging his daughter to do the same. + +A matrimonial alliance with Vane would have been considered advantageous +by most people in the social position of the H--family; and Jessie, like +many other young ladies, was likely to be married to a man, who held but +a second place in her affections. + +Thousands do this, without surrendering themselves to a life of misery; +and Jessie H--could scarce be expected to differ from others of her age +and sex. In fact, as I soon afterwards learnt, she had yielded to her +father's solicitations, rather than to the suit of the wooer; and had +given a reluctant consent to the marriage. It was to take place in +about ten days from that time. + +I also learnt that Vane and Cannon had quarrelled, before leaving +Melbourne. I did not ascertain the exact cause. It was no business of +mine; and I did not care to be made acquainted with it. With the +conduct of the latter I had some reason to be dissatisfied. He had +endeavoured to make use of me, as a means of obtaining revenge against +his enemy--Vane. + +I could not think of any other object he might have, in bringing me once +more into the presence of Jessie. + +To a certain extent he had succeeded in his design. Without vanity I +could not shut my eyes to the fact of Jessie's aversion to her marriage +with Vane; and I was convinced that, after seeing me, it became +stronger. + +I was by no means pleased at the idea of being made a cat's paw for the +gratification of Cannon's revenge; and, next day, when his name was +announced at my lodgings, I resolved that that meeting should be our +last. + +"Mr Cannon," said I, before he had even seated himself, "will you tell +me why you took me to see Jessie H--, when you had reason to believe +that neither of us desired to meet the other again?" + +"I had no reason for thinking anything of the kind," replied he. "On +the contrary, there was much to make me believe differently. I have a +great respect for Mr H--and his family; and I don't mean to flatter, +when I tell you, I have the same for yourself. What harm was there in +bringing together those whom I respect? and desire to see friends? But +you want some explanation. You shall have it. It is this:--you have +seen Vane, and know something about him. I know more of him, than you. +He is a conceited, trifling fellow, without the slightest truth or +principle in him. True, his society was amusing. I overlooked his +faults; and bore with him for a long time. When I saw that he was +trying to take advantage of the introduction I had given him to the +daughter of my friend--a young lady of whom he is in no sense worthy--I +then became his enemy. I acknowledge having taken you to see her in a +somewhat surreptitious fashion; and, moreover, that I did it with a +design: that of thwarting the intentions of Vane. But I deny having +done it as you suppose, because he is my enemy. It was not that; but my +friendship to Mr H--, and his family, that induced me to act as I did. +While we were on the Yarra Yarra, I could not fail to notice that you +were not wholly indifferent to the beauty of Miss H--; and also, that +she had the discernment to see, that you were worthy of her esteem. +Where was the harm, then, in my bringing you once more together? You +are mistaken in thinking, that I was using you to give annoyance to an +enemy. On the contrary, I claim to have been only guilty of studying +the happiness of my friends." + +To Cannon's explanation I could make no answer. He was better in an +argument than I; and what he had said, left me without any reason to +believe, that he knew either of Jessie's being engaged to Vane, or that +their marriage was shortly to take place. From his point of view, I +could not much blame him for what he had done. + +I had received Cannon with the resolve to have nothing more to do with +him, after our interview should end; but he had given me a fair +explanation of his conduct, and we parted without any ill-will. + +I had promised to call again upon Jessie. It was after my last visit to +her, that I had learnt of her approaching marriage with Vane; and, on +receiving this intelligence, I regretted having made the promise. I had +two reasons for regretting it. To see her again could only add to her +unhappiness; and perhaps to me might be a cause of self-reproach. + +Nothing but sorrow could spring from our again seeing one another--a +sorrow that might be mutual--and, in spite of the promise I had given, I +determined we should meet no more. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXVI. + +MRS NAGGER. + +My brother William had rented a house in Brompton, engaged two female +servants, and commenced house-keeping after the manner of most +Londoners. + +In his house I was permitted to occupy two apartments--a parlour, and +bed-room. + +The servant, who attended to these rooms, possessed a character, marked +by some peculiarities that were rather amusing. She was over fifty +years of age; and carried about the house a face that most people would +have considered unpleasant. + +I did not. I only believed that Mrs Nagger--such was her name--might +have experienced several disappointments in her life; and that the +expression, caused by the latest and last of them, had become so +indelibly stamped upon her features, as not to be removed by any hope of +future happiness. + +Like a good many of her sex, Mrs Nagger's tongue was seldom at rest, +though the words she uttered were but few, and generally limited to the +exclamatory phrase, "More's the pity!" followed by the confession, +"That's all I can say." + +I had, sometimes, cause to complain of the coffee, which the old +housekeeper used to set before me--fancying it inferior to any, I had +met elsewhere. + +"Mrs Nagger," I would say--laying an emphasis on the Mrs, of which she +seemed no little vain--"I do not think this is coffee at all. What do +you suppose it to be?" + +"Indeed I don't know, sir; and more's the pity!" + +"And this milk," I would continue, "I fancy it must have been taken from +an iron-tailed cow." + +"Yes, sir; and more's the pity! That's all I can say." + +I soon learnt that the old creature was quite right in her simple +confession. "More's the pity" was about all she could say; and I was +not sorry that it was so. + +One day I was honoured by a visit from Cannon, who, being some years +older than myself, and having rather an elevated opinion of his own +wisdom, volunteered to offer me a little advice. + +"Stone," said he, "why don't you settle down, and live happily like your +brother? If I had your opportunity of doing so, I wouldn't put up with +the miserable life I am leading, a week longer." + +"What opportunity do you speak of?" + +"Why that of marrying Jessie H--. Do not think me meddlesome, or +impertinent. I take it for granted that you and I are sufficiently +acquainted for me to take the liberty I am doing. The girl likes you; I +know it, and it is a deuced shame to see a fine girl like her thrown +away on such a puppy as Vane. Why don't you save her? She is +everything a man could wish for--although she is a little different from +most of the young ladies of London. In my opinion, she's all the better +for that." + +In thus addressing me, Cannon acted in a more ungentlemanly manner than +I had ever known him to do, for he was not a man to intrude advice upon +his friends--especially on matters of so serious a nature, as the one he +had introduced. + +Believing him to have some friendship for myself, more for the H-- +family, and a great antipathy to Vane, I listened to him without feeling +offended. + +"I am not insensible to the attractions of Miss H--," said I, "but the +happiness, you speak of, can never be mine." + +"Oh! I understand you," rejoined he. "You have been disappointed in +love by some one else? So was I, once on a time--madly in love with a +girl who married another, whom I suppose she liked better than me. At +first I thought of committing suicide; but was prevented--I suppose, by +fear. I was afflicted with very unpleasant thoughts, springing from +this disappointment. They stuck to me for nearly three years. I got +over them last, and I'll tell you how. I accidentally met the object of +my affections. She was the mother of two rosy, apple-cheeked children; +and presented a personal appearance that immediately disenchanted me. +She was nearly as broad as she was long. I wondered how the deuce I +could ever have been such a fool as to love the woman--more especially +to have made myself so miserable about her. If you have been +disappointed in the same manner, take my advice, and seek the remedy +that restored me." + +Absurd as Cannon's proposition might appear, I could not help thinking +that there was some philosophy in it; and, without telling him of my +intention, I determined on giving it further consideration. + +To change the conversation, I rang the bell. I knew that Cannon was +fond of a glass of Scotch whiskey; and, when Mrs Nagger made her +appearance, I requested her to bring a bottle of Glenlivet into the +room--along with some hot water and sugar. The "materials" were +produced; and we proceeded to mixing the "toddy." + +"This is the right brand," said Cannon, taking up the bottle, and +scrutinising its label, "the very sort to my taste." + +I could see the lips of Mrs Nagger slightly moving; and I knew that she +was muttering the words, "more's the pity!" I have no doubt that she +suffered a little at being deprived of the opportunity of giving her one +idea a more audible manifestation. + +Cannon did not suffer from any disappointment as to the quality of the +liquor. At all events, he appeared to find it to his liking: for he +became so exhilarated over it, that he did not leave until sunset; and +not then, till he had prevailed upon me to accompany him--with the +understanding, that we should spend the evening together. + +"What's the use of your living in London," he asked, "if you stay all +the time within doors? You appear even less inclined to see a little +life, than when I met you in Melbourne. Why is it, Stone?" + +"Because I came here to rest myself. A life spent in labour, has given +me but few opportunities of acquiring that knowledge, that may be +obtained from books; and now that I have a little leisure given me, I +wish to make a good use of it." + +"That's a very sensible design, no doubt," said Cannon, "but you must +not follow it to-night. Come along with me; and I'll show you something +of London." + +I consented to accompany Cannon--on the condition of his taking me to +some place where I could be amused in a quiet, simple manner--any +spectacle suitable to a sailor, or gold-digger, and at which there might +be no disgrace in being present. + +"Take me to some place," said I, "that is neither too high nor too low. +Let me see, or hear something I can understand--something that is +popular with the majority of Londoners; so that I may be able to form an +idea of their tastes and habits." + +"All right," answered Cannon, "I'll take you to several places of the +sort; and you can judge for yourself. You wish to witness the +amusements most popular among, what might be called, the middle classes? +Well, we shall first visit a concert hall, or music room. The +Londoners profess to be a musical people; and it must be admitted that +much, both of their time and money, is expended in listening to vocal +and instrumental performances. It is in the theatres and music halls, +that one may best meet the people of London--not the very lowest class +of them; but those who profess, and fancy themselves up to a high +standard of civilisation. Come on!" + +Yielding myself to the guidance of my sage companion, I followed him +into the street. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXVII. + +LONDON CONCERT SINGERS. + +It was about nine o'clock in the evening, when we entered, what Cannon +called, one of the most "respectable music halls" in London. + +I discovered the "entertainment" to consist of one or more persons +standing upon a stage, before a large assemblage of people, and +screaming in such a manner, that not a word could be understood of the +subject, about which they were supposed to be singing! + +To make secure, against any chance of a sensible sound reaching the ears +of the audience, several instruments of music were being played at the +same time; and the combined effect of the screams, yells, moans, groans, +and other agonising noises proceeding from both singers and musicians, +nearly drove me distracted. + +When an act of this "entertainment," was over; and the creatures +producing it were on the point of retiring, the entire audience +commenced clapping their hands, stamping their feet on the floor, and +making other ridiculous demonstrations. In my simplicity, I fancied +that this fracas arose from their satisfaction at getting rid of the +hideous screaching that had come from the stage. I was told, however, +that I was mistaken in this; and I afterwards learnt, that the clapping +of hands and stamping of feet were intended to express the pleasure of +the audience at what had been causing me positive pain! + +I could see that these people had really been amused, or pretended that +such had been the case; and I fervently prayed, that I should never be +afflicted with the "refinement" that could cause me to take an interest +in the exhibition which appeared to have amused them. + +While the storm of applause was raging, a man would spring up, and +announce the name of the next performer, or performers--though not a +word of what he said could be heard. During this "intellectual" +entertainment, the audience were urged to give orders for refreshments, +which were served to them by men moving about in "hammer-claw coats" and +white "chokers." + +For the "refreshments" partaken of, an exorbitant price was charged; and +then something had to be paid to the ghoul-like creatures who placed +them before you. + +So enlightened are the people of the world's metropolis, that a man is +expected to fee the waiter who sets his dinner before him. + +An unenlightened people, who live far away from London, are such fools, +as to think that when a dinner is ordered, the proprietor of the place +is under some obligation to have it set on the table; but Londoners have +reached a pitch of refinement--in the art of extortion and begging--that +has conducted them to a different belief. + +After staying in the "music hall" about an hour--and becoming thoroughly +disgusted both with actors and audience--I succeeded in persuading my +friend to take me away. + +Our next visit was to a "tavern," where we were shown into a large +parlour, full of people, though it was some time before I became certain +of this fact, by the tobacco smoke that filled the apartment. + +In this place also, part of the entertainment consisted of singing, +though none of the singers were engaged professionally. A majority of +those present, seemed to be acquainted with one another; and those who +could sing, either volunteered, or sung at the request of the "company." +A man sitting at the head of a long table, officiated as "chairman," +and by knocking on the table with a small ivory hammer, gave notice when +a song was to commence, at the same time commanding silence. + +In this place, we actually heard songs sung in good taste, and with much +feeling, for it was possible to understand both the words and the music. +On leaving this tavern we repaired to another; and gained admission +into the "parlour." We found it filled with linen draper's assistants, +and other "counter jumpers." + +Their principal amusement appeared to be, that of trying which could use +the greatest quantity of slang and obscene language. It had been +raining, as we entered the house; and a young man--too elaborately +dressed to be a gentleman--who came in after us, reported to the rest of +the company, that it was "raining like old boots." + +Another well-dressed young man entertained the company with the +important intelligence, that as soon as it should cease raining, he +intended to "be off like a shot." + +The individuals assembled in this tavern parlour, had a truly snobbish +appearance. Their conversation was too obscene to be repeated, yet +every sentence of ribaldry was received by the company with shouts of +laughter! + +My companion and I stayed but a few minutes among them. On going out +from this place, we resolved to separate for the night, as I was quite +satisfied with what I had seen of metropolitan amusements. + +There are many disagreeable peculiarities about London life. It is the +only place visited by me in all my wanderings, in which I had seen women +insulted in the streets, and where I had been almost every day disgusted +by listening to low language. + +London, for all this, offers many advantages as a home. The latest and +earliest news, from all parts of the world, is there to be obtained, as +well as almost everything else--even good bread and coffee--if one will +only take the trouble to search for them. + +My brother had made London his home. It was the wish of his wife-- +backed by that of her mother--that he should do so. This resolution on +his part, produced in my mind some unmanly envy; and perhaps a little +discontent. + +Why could fortune not have been equally kind to me, and linked my fate +with Lenore. I had wandered widely over the world, and wished to wander +no more. Had fate been kind, I might have found a happy home, even in +London. But it was not to be; and I might seek for such in vain--in +London, as elsewhere. + +Might I not be mistaken? Might I not follow the counsel of Cannon with +profit? By once more looking upon Lenore, might I not see something to +lessen my misery? + +The experiment was worth the trial. It was necessary for me to do +something to vary the monotony of existence. Why not pay a visit to +Lenore? + +Why not once more look upon her; and, perhaps as Cannon had said, "get +disenchanted." By so doing, I might still save Jessie, and along with +her myself. + +Why was the presence of Jessie less attractive than the memory of +Lenore? She was not less beautiful. She was, perhaps, even more gentle +and truthful; and I believed no one could love me more. Why then should +I not follow Cannon's advice? Ah! such struggles of thought availed me +nothing. They could not affect my resolution of returning to Australia. +The more I reasoned, the more did I become convinced, that I loved only +one--only Lenore! + +Volume Three, Chapter XXVIII. + +A "BLESSED BABY." + +I am afflicted by a mental peculiarity, which seems to be hereditary in +my family. It is my fate to form attachments, that will not yield to +circumstances, and cannot be subdued by any act of volition; +attachments, in short, that are terminated only by death. Among the +individuals of our family, this peculiarity has sometimes proved a +blessing--at other times a misfortune. Such an infatuation for Mr +Leary existed in the mind of my mother. It had been cured only by her +death. My sister and brother had experienced a similar regard for the +respective objects of their affection. In the case of both it appeared +to have led to a blessing. I had been less fortunate than they; and +perhaps not more so than my departed mother: for the memories of a young +girl, met in early life, had blighted all my hopes, and chilled the +aspirations of my youthful manhood. + +It may seem strange that a young man who had seen something of the +world--and gathered gold enough to enable him to meet the demands of +every day life--should find any difficulty in choosing a wife. Perhaps +I may be understood, when I state that I was unable to act as most men +would have done in a similar situation. The idea of my being united to +any other than Lenore, seemed to me something like sacrilege--a crime, I +could neither contemplate nor commit. + +This condition of mind was, in all probability, mere foolishness on my +part; but I could neither help, nor control it. A man may have +something to do in the shaping of his thoughts; but in general they are +free from any act of volition; and my inability to conquer the affection +I had formed for Lenore Hyland--from whatever source it proceeded--had +been proved by long years of unsuccessful trying. My will had been +powerless to effect this object. + +I had once been astonished at the conduct of my mother. Her long-felt +affection for Mr Leary had appeared to me the climax of human folly. +After all, was it any greater than my own? I was a young man, +possessing many advantages for a life of happiness. Thousands might +have envied my chances. Yet I was not happy; and never likely to be. I +was afflicted with an attachment that produced only misery--as +hopelessly afflicted, as ever my poor mother had been; and that, too, +for one whom it was wrong in me to love, since she was now the wife of +another. + +In one thing, it might be supposed, that I had the advantage of my +unfortunate mother. I had the satisfaction of knowing, that my love had +been bestowed upon a worthy object. For all this, my happiness was as +effectually ruined--as had been my mother's, by an affection for the +most worthless of men! + +I believed myself to have been very unfortunate in life. The reader may +not think so; but I can assure him, that the person who imagines himself +unhappy, really is so--whether there be a true cause for it, or not. +Call it by what name you will, folly, or misfortune--neither or both--my +greatest pleasure was in permitting my thoughts to stray back to the +happy hours I once spent in the society of Lenore; and my greatest +sorrow was to reflect, that she was lost to me for ever! + +My determination to return to Australia became fixed at length; and +there seemed nothing to prevent me from at once carrying it into effect. +Something whispered me, however, that before going to the other side of +the world, I should once again look upon Lenore. + +I knew not what prompted me to this resolve, for it soon became such. +Cannon's counsel might have had something to do with it; but it was not +altogether that. I was influenced by a higher motive. + +I had heard that after her marriage, her husband had taken her to reside +in London. I presumed, therefore, that she was in London at that +moment; but, for any chance that there would be of my finding her, she +might as well have been in the centre of the Saharan desert. I had no +clue to her address--not the slightest. I did not even know the name of +the man she had married. The steward, who at Sydney had told me the +news, did not give the name; and at the time I was too terribly affected +to think of asking it. It is true that I might have found her by +advertising in the papers; but the circumstances were such, as to forbid +my resorting to such means as that. I only desired to see her--not to +speak to her. Nothing could have tempted me to exchange a word with +her. I wished but to gaze once more upon her incomparable beauty-- +before betaking myself to a place where the opportunity could never +occur again. + +I thought of Cannon's conversation--of his plan for becoming +disenchanted; but I had not the slightest idea, that, in my case, it +would prove successful. + +While reflecting, on how I might find Lenore, a happy idea came to my +aid. She had lived in Liverpool--she had been married there. I was +acquainted with some of Mrs Hyland's friends, who must still be in +Liverpool. Surely they would know the name and address of the young +lady, who was once Lenore Hyland? It would only cost me a journey to +Liverpool--with some disagreeable souvenirs, to spring up in my mind +while there--but my reward would be to gaze once again upon the beauty +of Lenore. + +I had seen in the papers, that Captain Nowell's vessel was to sail for +Melbourne in a few days. I was pleased at this information: for I +intended to take passage with him; and might anticipate a more pleasant +voyage, than if I went with a stranger. + +Before setting out for Liverpool, I wrote a note to Captain Nowell-- +informing him of my intention to go out in his ship; and requesting him +to keep for me one of the best berths of his cabin. This business +settled, I took the train for the metropolis of Lancashire. I was not +over satisfied with myself while starting on this journey. I was +troubled with a suspicion, that I was doing a very foolish thing. My +conscience, however, became quieted by the reflection that it was of +very little consequence, either to myself, or any one else, whether I +went to Liverpool, or stayed in London. I was alone in the world--a +rolling stone--and why should I not follow the guidance of my destiny? + +I became better satisfied with my proceedings when I reflected that they +would lead to my finding Lenore, and once more looking upon her. + +I knew that by so doing my unhappiness might only be increased; but I +fancied that even this would be a change from the dull aching misery, I +had been so long enduring. + +My railroad journey by Liverpool was not without an incident that +interested me. In the carriage in which I had taken my seat, was a +man--accompanied by his wife, their child, and a servant girl who nursed +the "baby." I had not been ten minutes in the company of this +interesting group, before I became convinced that it was worthy of being +studied, although like a Latin lesson, the study was not altogether +agreeable. + +The husband was a striking example, of how a sensible man may sometimes +be governed by a silly woman. The child was about two years and a half +old; and the fact, that it had already learnt to cry, seemed to its +mother something to be surprised at! + +The selfishness which causes that painful reserve, or want of +sociability, observable amongst the travelling English of the middle +class, was in the case of the woman in question, subdued by a silly +conceit about her child--which she appeared to regard as a little lump +of concentrated perfection. Before we had been in the carriage +half-an-hour, she had told me its age, the number of its teeth, what it +did, and did not like to eat, along with several remarkable things it +had been heard to say. + +"But is it not strange," asked she, after a long speech in manifestation +of its many virtues, "that a child of its age cannot walk?" + +"There is nothing strange about it," muttered the husband, "how can the +child learn to walk, when it never has an opportunity of trying? It'll +never have a chance to try, as long as there is a servant girl in the +United Kingdom strong enough to carry it about. I'll answer for that." + +"John, dear, how can you talk so?" exclaimed the mother of the blessed +baby, "you have not the least consideration, or you would not expect an +infant to be a man." + +During the two hours I shared the carriage with this interesting family, +I heard that mother use to her child about one-fourth of all the words +in the English language--adding to each word the additional syllable +"ee." + +When the father ventured to open his mouth, and speak to the child in +plain English, the mother would accuse him of scolding it; and then the +little demon would set up a loud yelling, from which it would not +desist, until mother and nurse had called it every pet name they could +think of--adding to each the endearing syllable "ee." + +Becoming perfectly satisfied at the observations I had made of the +peculiarities of this pleasant family, I took the first opportunity of +"changing carriages;" and left the fond mother to enjoy, undisturbed, +the caresses of her spoilt pet. Perhaps, had Fortune been a little +kinder to myself, I might have felt less afflicted in such society. But +as I had no intention of ever becoming a family man, I thought the +knowledge of "what to avoid," was hardly worth acquiring--at the expense +of being submitted to the annoyance that accompanied the lesson. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXIX. + +BROWN OF BIRMINGHAM. + +On my way to Liverpool, I took the route by Birmingham--with the +intention of breaking my journey in the latter city. + +I had two reasons for this. I wanted to see the great city of iron +foundries; and, still more, my old mate--Brown, the convict--who had +worked along with me on the diggings of Avoca. + +The morning after reaching Birmingham, I went in search of the place, +where Brown had told me to enquire for him. + +Just before his departure from the diggings, he had seen a man fresh +from Birmingham; and had learnt from him, that a young fellow--with whom +he had once been acquainted--was then keeping a public-house formerly +much frequented by his father. + +The old convict had said, that from this tavern keeper he should be able +to learn all about his family; and had directed me, in case of my ever +coming to Birmingham, to inquire for himself at the same address. + +I found the tavern without much trouble. It was what might be called, +either in Birmingham or Glasgow, a "third class" public-house; but would +not have been licensed for such a purpose in any other city. + +I saw the landlord; and requested him to give me the address of "Richard +Brown." After some hesitation, my request was complied with. + +On proceeding to the place, I had the good fortune to find my old mate +at home. + +I had no occasion to regret paying him this visit: for the happiness it +seemed to cause him, was worth making a long journey to confer. + +"You are the only one," said he, "to whom I told my story in the +colonies. You remember with what little hope I returned home; and I +know you are just the man to be pleased at what I have to tell you." + +"I am certainly pleased," said I, "at what I already see. I find you +living in a quiet, comfortable home; and, to all appearance, contented." + +"Yes," joyfully answered Brown, "and I am all that I appear, even more +happy than you can imagine. But I must tell you all about it. On my +return, I found my mother still living, and in a workhouse. My brother +was married; and had a large family--fighting, as he and I used to do, +against death from starvation. I did not go to my mother in the +workhouse. I did not wish to meet her there, in presence of people who +could not have understood my feelings. After learning that she was +there, I took this house; and furnished it on the same day. My brother +then went to the workhouse, took our mother out of it, brought her here, +and told her it was her own home, and that everything she saw belonged +to her. He then explained the puzzle--by bringing us together. The +poor old lady was nearly mad with joy; and I believe that I was at that +moment the happiest man in England. I am not certain, but that I am so +yet. The pleasure I have had in placing my mother beyond the reach of +want, and in aiding my brother--who only required the use of a few +pounds, to enable him to make a comfortable living--has far more than +repaid me, for all the hardships and sorrows of the past." + +Before I parted from him, Brown opened a door, and called to his mother, +requesting her to come in. + +When she entered the room, I was introduced to her, as a friend who had +known her son in Australia. She was a respectable-looking woman, about +sixty-eight years of age; and her features bore an expression of +cheerfulness and contentment that was pleasant to behold. + +"I am greatly pleased to see thee," said she, addressing herself to me, +"for thy presence here tells me, that my son had friends amongst +respectable people when far away." + +I took this as a compliment; and was as polite to her, as I knew how to +be. + +Brown informed me, that he was then engaged in the hay and corn +business; and was making a little money--enough, he said, to prevent the +gold-dust he had brought home with him from getting scattered. +Notwithstanding what he had done for his mother and brother, he expected +to find himself at the end of the year worth as much money, and a little +more, than when he landed in England. + +I know not what others may think of the incident here described; but I +felt upon parting from Brown, that it had been worth all the trouble I +had taken to call upon him; and I will, at any time, again undergo the +same trouble to be present at a similar spectacle. + +Under the guidance of my old mining partner, I visited many of the great +manufacturing establishments of Birmingham; and, after seeing much to +cause me both wonder and admiration, I proceeded on my journey to +Liverpool. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXX. + +IN SEARCH OF LENORE. + +From having resided so long in Captain Hyland's family, I was familiar, +as already stated, with the names of many of their acquaintances. +Amongst others, I remembered a Mrs Lanson, who had been on very +intimate terms with Mrs Hyland and Lenore. + +I knew her address; and from her, would be sure to obtain the +information I desired. After arriving in Liverpool, I proceeded almost +direct to her residence. At Captain Hylands house, I had often met Mrs +Lanson; and on presenting myself, had no trouble in getting recognised. +I was received with courtesy--even cordiality. + +"I am very anxious," said I, "too see my old friends--Mrs Hyland and +her daughter. Having been so long abroad, I have lost all knowledge of +them. I knew that you could inform me, where they are to be found; and +it is for that purpose I have taken the liberty of calling upon you." + +"No liberty at all, Mr Stone," said the lady; "on the contrary, I'm +very glad to see you. Of course, you've heard of the change that has +taken place in Mrs Hyland's family; and that they are now living in +London?" I answered in the affirmative. "The address is Number --, +Denbigh Street, Pimlico. That is Captain Nowell's residence. Please +remember me to them!" + +Not many more words passed between Mrs Lanson, and myself. I know not +whether she noticed my confusion, as I stammered out some common-place, +leave-taking speech. I was too much excited to know what I did; or +whether my behaviour was remarked upon. + +It was not necessary for me to make a memorandum of the address thus +given me. I had one already in my possession--which I had been carrying +in my pocket for weeks. More than that, I had called at the house +itself--on that occasion, when Captain Nowell accompanied me to the +Bank. + +I know not why this discovery should have given my mind such a painful +shock. Why should the thought, that Lenore had married a man with whom +I was acquainted, cause me a more bitter pain than any I had yet +experienced? + +Captain Nowell was a person, for whom I felt a sincere respect-- +amounting almost to regard. Why then was I so disagreeably surprised, +to discover that he was the man who had found the happiness, I had +myself lost? I knew not; and I only sought an answer to this mental +interrogatory--in the hope, that, by finding it, I might be able to +correct some fault that existed in my own mind. I had accomplished the +object of my journey; and yet I returned to London with a heart aching +from disappointment. I had learnt where Lenore could be seen; and had +gone all the way to Liverpool to obtain that information, which might +have been mine at an earlier period--had I but hearkened to the request +of Captain Nowell to visit him at his house. + +My reasons for keeping away from Denbigh Street were now ten times +stronger than ever. I no longer felt a desire to see Lenore; and never +wished to see Captain Nowell again. + +My desire to depart from London was greatly strengthened by the +discovery I had made; and, much as I disliked Liverpool, I resolved to +return to it--for the purpose of taking passage thence to Melbourne: as +I had learnt that there were several Melbourne ships soon to sail from +that port. + +On conferring with my brother William, he expressed his determination to +remain in London. He had bought shares in a brewery; and had every +prospect of doing well. He endeavoured to persuade me against returning +to the colonies--urging me to go into some business in London, get +anchored to a wife, and live happily like himself! Little did William +suspect how impossible it would have been for me to follow his counsels. + +The arguments he used, only increased my desire to be gone; and I +determined to start next day for Liverpool. + +Common politeness would not allow me to leave, without writing Captain +Nowell a note. It was necessary I should let him know, that I had +changed my mind about returning to the colonies in his ship. + +On the morning after this last duty had been fulfilled--before I had +taken my departure for the train--Captain Nowell was announced; and I +could not well avoid seeing him. + +"I have come after you," said he, as soon as he entered the room. "I'm +sent to take you prisoner; and bring you before two ladies, whom you +should have called upon long ago. You cannot escape--so come along +immediately!" + +"It is impossible for me to go with you, Captain Nowell," protested I, +"I start for Liverpool by the next train; and I shall have scant time to +get to the station." + +"I tell you," said the Captain, "that I can take no refusal. Why--do +you know what I have just learnt? My wife, and her daughter, are old +acquaintances of yours. Don't you remember Mrs Hyland, and little +Lenore? I happened to mention the name of Rowland Stone this morning-- +on reading your note of last night--and there was a row in the house +instantly. My wife sent me off to bring you, as fast as a cab can carry +us. Unless you go with me, we shall have a fight. I daren't go back, +without you." + +"Stop a minute!" I cried, or rather stammered out the words. "Let me +ask you one question! What did you say about your wife?" + +"I said that my wife, and her daughter, were old acquaintances of yours. +I married the widow of Captain Hyland." + +"Great heaven!" I exclaimed, "did you not marry his daughter?" + +"No. What the devil makes you ask that? Marry Lenore Hyland! Why, +Stone, I'm old enough to be the young lady's father; and I am that: +since I married her mother." + +"Come on!" I exclaimed, rushing towards the door. "Come on! I must +see her immediately." + +I hurried bare-headed into the street--followed by Captain Nowell, who +brought my hat in his hand, and placed it on my head. + +We hailed a cab; and ordered the driver to take us to Number --, Denbigh +Street, Pimlico. + +I thought that a horse had never moved so slow. I said everything I +could, to induce cabby to drive faster. I did more than talk to him: I +bribed him. I threatened, and cursed him--though the man seemed to make +every endeavour to satisfy my impatience. The horse appeared to crawl. +I thought of jumping out of the cab--in the belief that I could go +faster afoot; but my companion prevented me. + +We did reach Denbigh Street at last; but after a drive that seemed to me +as long as any voyage I had ever made across the Atlantic Ocean. + +I could not wait for the Captain to ring his own bell; but rang it +myself. + +On the instant that a servant girl answered the summons, I put the +question: + +"Where is Lenore?" + +The girl's face assumed an expression of surprise; but, seeing me in the +company of her master, she opened the door of a drawing-room; and I +walked in. + +Lenore Hyland was before me--more beautiful, if possible, than ever! + +I was, no doubt, taking a great liberty, in the ardent demonstrations I +at that moment made towards her; but my consciousness of this could not +restrain me from doing as I did--though I may have acted like a madman. + +"Lenore," I exclaimed, clasping her in my arms, "are you free? Is it +true, that I have not lived and toiled in vain?" + +The young lady made no answer--at least not in words; but there was +something in her silence, that led me to think, she was not offended at +my rudeness. + +Gradually I recovered composure, sufficient to conduct myself in a more +becoming manner, when the Captain called my attention to Mrs Nowell--in +whom I recognised Mrs Hyland, the mother of Lenore. + +My long continued misapprehension--so near leading to a life-long +misery--was soon fully explained. Mason, whom I had met in Sydney--and +with whom the error originated--had been himself the victim of a +mistake. + +He had called to see Captain Nowell on business; and the latter, not +being at home, the old steward had asked to see his wife. Mrs Nowell +being engaged at the time, her daughter had come out to receive him; +and, as Mason had been formerly acquainted with Captain Hyland and his +family, of course he recognised Lenore. This circumstance--along with +something that had occurred in the short conversation between her and +the steward--had led to the misapprehension; and Mason had left the +house under the belief that Lenore Hyland was Captain Nowell's wife! + +I never passed a more happy evening, than that upon which I again met +Lenore--though my happiness did not spring, from the "disenchantment" +promised by Cannon. I did not think of poor Jessie; and also forgot all +about my intention of returning to the colonies, until reminded of it by +Captain Nowell--as I was about to take leave of him and his family for +the night. + +"Stone," he said, "now that you have found your old friends, you must +give them as much of your time as possible: for you know, in a few days, +we are to sail for Australia." + +This speech was accompanied by a glance, that told me the Captain did +not expect my company upon his next voyage. + +I proudly fancied that Lenore interpreted it, in the same sense as I had +done: for the blush that broke over her beautiful cheeks, while adding +bloom, at the same time led me to believe that my remaining in London +would be consonant with her wishes. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXXI. + +A CHILD OF NATURE. + +One morning as I sat in my room, impatiently waiting for the hour when I +could call upon Lenore; and pondering over the events of my past life-- +especially that latest one that had given such a happy turn to it--I was +informed by Mrs Nagger that a lady was downstairs, who wished to see +me. + +"What is the ladylike?" I inquired, still thinking of Lenore. + +"Like an angel in some great trouble," replied Mrs Nagger; "and more's +the pity! sir, for she's a very nice young lady, I'm sure." + +"Did she give any name?" + +"No, sir; and more's the pity, for I should like to know it, but she +seems very anxious to see you, and more's the pity, that she should be +kept so long waiting." + +I descended the stairs, entered the parlour, and stood face to face with +Jessie H--. + +She appeared to be suffering from some acute mental agony; and when I +took her hand I could feel her fingers trembling in my grasp. A hectic +flush overspread her cheeks; and her eyes looked as though she had been +weeping. Her whole appearance was that of a person struggling to +restrain the violent expression of some overwhelming sorrow. + +"Jessie! What has happened?" I asked. "There is something wrong? You +look as if there was--you look ill, Jessie." + +"Yes," she made answer. "Something _has_ happened; something that has +destroyed my happiness for ever." + +"Tell me what it is, Jessie. Tell me all. You know that I will assist +you, in any way that is in my power." + +"I do not know that, Rowland. There was a time when you might have +saved me; but now it is too late--too late to appease my aching heart. +I have waited a long while in anxious doubt; and, perhaps, would have +died with the secret in my breast, had I not met you again. It would +have been better so. Oh! Rowland, after meeting you once more in this +strange land, all the memories of the past came over me, only to fill my +soul with sadness and despair. Then it was that my long pent-up grief +gave way; and my heart felt shattered. Rowland! I have come to you in +my misery, not to accuse you of being its cause; but to tell you that +you alone could have prevented it. No mortal could live with more +happiness than I, did I but know that you had the slightest love for me. +Even should we never meet again, there would be joy in the thought that +your love was, or had been mine." + +"Jessie! Can you speak thus when--" + +"Peace, Rowland! hear me out. I am nearly mad. I will tell you all-- +all that I have suffered for you. For that reason have I come here. +They want me to marry a man I do not love. Give me your counsel, +Rowland! Is it not wrong for me to marry him, when I cannot love him-- +when I love only you?" + +"Jessie, I cannot hear you talk thus. I told you, when we parted in +Australia that I loved another. I have met that other since; and I find +that she is still true to me. I hope never to hear you speak so +despondingly again. To all, life is sorrow; and we should pray for +strength to bear it. Fulfil cheerfully the promises you have made. We +can still be friends and you may yet be happy." + +I could perceive, by the quick heaving of her bosom, that her soul was +agitated by powerful emotions, that only became stronger as I continued. + +At length this agitation seemed to reach a climax, her arms were thrown +wildly outwards; and without a word escaping from her lips, she fell +heavily upon the floor. She had fainted! + +I rang the bell, and called loudly for assistance. Mrs Nagger came +hurrying into the room. I raised the insensible form; and held it in my +arms--while the old housekeeper rubbed her hands, and applied such +restoratives as were near. It seemed as if Jessie H--was never again to +be restored to life. She lay against my bosom like a piece of cold +white marble with not a movement to betoken that she was breathing. + +I gently placed her on a couch--resting her pale cheek upon the pillow. +I then requested Mrs Nagger to summon a doctor. + +"It's no use, sir," said the woman, her words causing me a painful +apprehension: for I thought that she meant to say there was no hope of +recovery. + +"It's no use, sir," repeated Mrs Nagger, "she'll be over it before the +doctor could get here. She's only fainting; and more's the pity, that +such a dear pretty creetur should know the trouble that's causing it. +More's the pity! that's all I can say." + +Mrs Nagger's prognosis proved correct, for Jessie soon recovered, and +as she did so, my composure became partially restored. + +I began to breathe more freely: for not being used to scenes of this +kind, I had felt not only excited, but very much alarmed. + +"Jessie," said I, as I saw her fix her eyes upon me, "you are ill--you +have been fainting?" + +"No," she answered, "I have only been thinking--thinking of what you +have said. It was something about--" + +She interrupted herself at sight of Mrs Nagger--whom she now noticed +for the first time. The presence of the housekeeper appeared to make +her conscious of what had occurred; and for some moments she remained +silent--pressing her hands against her forehead. + +Mrs Nagger perceiving, that she was the cause of some embarrassment, +silently retired from the room. + +"Rowland," said Jessie, after the woman had gone, "I have but a few +words more to say. To-morrow I am to be married to Mr Vane. It is my +father's wish; and, as I have been told that his wishes should be my +own, I have consented to obey him. I have tried to love this man but in +vain: for I love another. I love you, Rowland. I cannot govern my +feelings; and too well do I remember your own words, when you said, we +could only love one. I will leave you now, Rowland: I have told you +all." + +"Jessie," said I, "I am truly sorry for you; but I trust that after your +marriage you will think differently; and will not allow any memories of +the past to affect your happiness." + +"I thank you for your good wishes," she answered, "I will, try to bear +my cruel fate with composure. Farewell, Rowland! I shall now leave +you. I shall go as I have come--alone." + +As I took her hand in mine--to speak that parting, which was to be our +last--she fixed her eyes upon me in a glance I shall not forget till my +dying hour. + +In another instant she was gone. + +To me there was something more than painful in this visit from Jessie. +It surprised me--as did also her bearing and language. Had she been at +all like any other girl, the singularity would have been still more +apparent; but she was not. Her conduct was not to be judged by the same +standard, as if she had been a young lady educated in the highly +civilised society of Europe. She was a child of Nature; and believed +that to conceal her thoughts and affections, was a sin against herself-- +as well as against all whom they might regard. In all likelihood she +fondly loved me; and regretted the promise she had given to become the +wife of Vane. Such being the case, she may have deemed it her duty to +make known to me the state of her mind, before she became irrevocably +united to another; and this she had done regardless of consequences. In +acting thus, Jessie H--might have been conscious of no wrong, nor could +I see any, although had another behaved in a similar manner, my opinion +would have been different. + +A young lady, brought up in English society, that teaches her rigidly to +conceal every warm affection and impulse of the heart, would have been +acting wrong in doing as Jessie H--had done. In her betrothal to Vane, +she had undoubtedly yielded to the wishes of her father, instead of +following the dictates of her own mind; but such was not the case in her +making that visit to me. + +Her marriage was to take place the next day; and it may be supposed that +she ought to have been engaged in making preparations for that important +event. Such would the world decide to have been her duty. But her +artless, pure, and confiding nature, rendered her independent of the +opinions of the world; and she had made one last reckless effort to +possess herself of the man she loved. + +The effort had failed. Fate was against her. + +I went to make my daily visit to Lenore; and Jessie, along with her +grief, was for awhile forgotten. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXXII. + +MRS NAGGER. + +Since meeting with Lenore, I had faithfully responded to the invitation +of Captain Nowell. Most of my time had been devoted to his ladies; or +rather, spent in the society of Lenore. Every day had witnessed the +return of happy hours; and, strange to say, the happiest were +experienced on the day of that sad parting with Jessie! + +On that morning, Lenore had promised to be mine; and an early day had +been appointed for our marriage. + +In procuring her consent to our speedy union, I was aided by Captain +Nowell, who wished to be present at the ceremony, and could not postpone +the departure of his ship. + +When Lenore and I came to compare notes, and make mutual confession, she +expressed surprise that I should ever have thought her capable of +marrying another! + +"Did you not tell me, Rowland," said she, "to wait for your return, and +you would then talk to me of love? I knew your motive for going away; +and admired you for it. I firmly confided in what you told me. All the +time of your absence, I believed you would come back to me; and I should +have waited for many years longer. Ah! Rowland, I could never have +loved another." + +My journey to Liverpool--to ascertain the name and address of the man +Lenore had _not_ married--I had hitherto kept a secret, but a letter had +arrived the evening before, which frustrated my designs. Mrs Lanson +had written to her old friend, Mrs Nowell--giving a full account of my +visit that had ended so abruptly. I was compelled to listen to a little +pleasant raillery from Captain Nowell, who did not fail to banter me +about the trouble I had taken, to learn what I might have discovered +much sooner and easier--by simply keeping faith with him, in the promise +I had made to call upon him. + +"I told you aboard the ship," said he, "that I had something to show you +worth looking at; and that you couldn't do better than visit me, before +throwing yourself away elsewhere. See what it has cost you, neglecting +to listen to my request. Now, is it not wonderful, that the plan I had +arranged for your happiness, when we were seven thousand miles from this +place, should be the very one that fate herself had in store for you?" + +I agreed with Captain Nowell, that there was something very strange in +the whole thing; and something more agreeable than strange. + +I returned home highly elated with the prospect of my future happiness. +I informed my brother and his wife of a change in my intentions--merely +telling them that I had given up the design of returning to Australia. +They were much gratified at this bit of news, for they had both used +every argument to dissuade me from going back to the colonies. + +"What has caused this sudden, and I must say sensible, abandonment of +your former plans?" asked my brother. + +"I have at last found one," I answered, "that I intend making my wife." + +"Ah!" exclaimed William, "the one that you had lost?" + +"Yes, the one that I had lost; but what makes you think there was such +an one?" + +"Oh! that was easily seen. Ever since meeting you on the Victoria +diggings, I noticed about you the appearance of a man who had lost +something--the mother of his children, for instance. I have never asked +many particulars of your past life; but, until within the last few days, +you looked very like a man who had no other hope, than that of being +able to die sometime. Why, Rowland, you look at this minute, ten years +younger, than you did three days ago!" + +I could believe this: for the change that had taken place in my soul was +like passing from night to day. + +I was, indeed, happy, supremely happy: since Lenore had promised to be +mine. + +That day I did not think of poor Jessie, until after my return home, +when Mrs Nagger, while setting my tea before me, put the question: + +"Please, sir, how is the poor young lady who was here this morning? She +was such a nice creetur, I'm anxious to hear if she be well again." + +This was the most reasonable remark I had heard the old housekeeper +make, during all my acquaintance with her. She had given utterance to a +long speech, without once using her favourite expression. The fact was +something wonderful; and that is probably the reason why I have recorded +it. + +In answer to her interrogatory, I told her, that I had neither seen nor +heard of the young lady since the morning. + +"Then more's the pity!" rejoined Mrs Nagger. "If men have no regard +for such a lovely creetur as her, it's no wonder _I_ have never found a +husband. More's the pity, sir! That's all _I_ can say." + +Mrs Nagger was a good servant; but my sister-in-law and her mother were +often displeased with her; on account of a disposition she often +displayed for meddling too much with what did not, or should not have +concerned her. She seemed to consider herself one of the family; and +entitled to know the affairs of every member of it, although I believe +she was prompted to this, by a feeling of friendship and good will. + +"Nagger," I once heard my brother's wife say to her, "I think you give +yourself much more trouble, than is required from you." + +"More's the pity, ma'am!" answered Nagger. + +"You must not interfere with what does not concern you," continued Mrs +Stone. "If you do, I shall have to dispense with your services." + +"If you do, ma'am, more's the pity! That's all I can say." + +"I wish it _was_ all you could say. Then, perhaps, we should agree very +well." + +"The more I don't trouble about your business," rejoined Mrs Nagger, +"the more's the pity for us all!" + +I believe that my sister-in-law knew this; or if not, she probably +thought that a better servant would be difficult to obtain; and Nagger +continued to keep her place. + +I had promised to call again at Captain Nowell's, that same evening, and +take my brother, his wife, and her mother, along with me. + +The Captain wished to see them before setting sail; and had urged me to +bring them to his house--a request with which I was but too ready to +comply: as I was desirous to show Lenore to my relations. I +communicated my intention to them; and asked if they had made any +engagement for the evening. + +"No, I think not. Have you, William?" asked Mrs Stone. + +"Not that I know of," answered my brother, "unless it be to make +ourselves happy at our own fireside." + +"I am to be married in six days," said I, "and there is no time to lose +in getting you acquainted with my intended. I have promised to take you +all to see her this evening--if I can induce you to go. What say you? +Will you accompany me?" + +They looked at each other. + +"I cannot tell," said Mrs Stone. "What do you say, mother? What do +you think William. I am impatient to see Rowland's choice; but would it +be etiquette for us to go to-night?" + +"What do we care for etiquette?" said William. "I, for one, am above +it. Let us go!" + +An hour afterwards, we were all on the way to the residence of Captain +Nowell. + +On being ushered into the drawing-room, my relatives were surprised to +meet an old acquaintance--the captain of the ship, on which they had +voyaged some thousands of miles. + +The Captain first introduced them to his wife; and then to his +step-daughter. I had before mentioned her name to my brother--while +giving him a brief history of the life I had led, after parting from him +in Dublin. + +On hearing the name, he gazed upon Lenore for a moment with evident +admiration. Then turning to me, he inquired, "Is this the lost one, +Rowland?" + +I answered in the affirmative. + +"I am reading a romance of real life," said William, as he grasped +Lenore's hand, with a grasp no other but a true sailor could give. + +Need I add that we passed that evening in the enjoyment of such +happiness, as is only allowed to hearts that throb with innocence and +honesty? + +Volume Three, Chapter XXXIII. + +A LETTER OF SAD SIGNIFICANCE. + +Next morning, as I was on my way to Lenore, I thought of Jessie. I was +reminded of her by the ringing of bells. It might not have been for her +wedding; but no doubt at that same hour the bells of some church were +tolling the announcement of the ceremony, that was to make her a wife. + +Poor Jessie! I could not help feeling sorrow for her. That peal, that +should have produced joy both to her and myself, fell upon my ear in +tones of sadness! I fancied--nay, I knew it--that whatever might be her +future fate, she was at that moment unhappy! + +Engrossed as I was in my own happiness, it was not natural I should long +dwell upon the misery of another; and I soon ceased to think of her. + +"Jessie is not related to me, nor my family," thought I, by way of +stifling my regrets, "she will soon forget her present griefs; and +perhaps be as happy as myself." + +I offered up a silent prayer, that such should be the event. + +I saw Lenore; passed with her a pleasant hour or two; and then learnt +that my company was on that day no longer required. + +Great preparations were being made for the marriage. Every one in the +house appeared to be busy--Lenore included--and as she could devote but +little time to entertaining me, I took leave of her, and returned home. + +On entering my room, I found a letter awaiting me. It lay upon the +table; and, drawing near, I cast my eye over the superscription. + +I saw that the writing was in a female hand, though not one familiar to +me. From whom could the letter be? Something seemed to whisper in my +ear the word "Jessie." + +She could not have written to me--least of all at that hour--unless to +communicate something of importance; and I hastily tore open the +envelope. + +I lay before my readers a copy of that ominous epistle: + + "Rowland, + + "The hour has arrived! The bells are ringing for the ceremony, yet I + am sitting here in my chamber--alone--alone in my anguish! I hear + hurried movements below, and the sounds of joyful voices--the voices + of those who come to celebrate my wedding-day; and yet I move not! + + "I know that my sorrows will soon be at an end! Before another hour + has passed away, my soul will be wafted to another world! Yes, + Rowland! start not--but when those eyes, which have long haunted me in + my dreams shall be gazing on these lines, the poor, lone girl who + loved you, and sought your love in return, will have ceased to exist. + Her soul will be at rest from the agonies of this cruel world! + + "Rowland! something tells me that I must not marry, that I must not + enter yonder sacred edifice, and pledge myself to one when I love + another. My conscience rebels against it. I will never do it! I + will die! + + "You told me you had found the long-lost one you love. May _she_ know + all the happiness that is denied to me! May every blessing from + Heaven fall upon her head; and make her life one blissful dream--such + as I once hoped might be mine! + + "I know that when you read this, the first impulse of your manly heart + will be to try to save me. But it will be too late! _Before you + could reach me, I shall have closed my eyes in the sleep of death_! + My last prayer shall be, that you may receive every earthly blessing; + and that you may long live in happiness to love her you have chosen as + your wife! + + "Perhaps in your reveries, in solitude, or when your heart is sad--God + grant that may never be! you may bestow a thought on her whose heart + you won in a foreign land; and who, in her dying hour, breathed only + prayers for your welfare. In such a time, and when such thoughts may + wander through your mind, I would, that you may think my only sin in + life was in loving you too truly! + + "Farewell, Rowland! Farewell for ever! + + "Jessie." + +I rushed out into the street; and hailed a cab. + +"Put your horse to his greatest speed," cried I to the driver, "Reach +the house, as soon as ever you can!" + +"What house?" asked the cabby. + +I gave the address; and sprang into the vehicle. + +The driver and horse both seemed to sympathise with my impatience: for +each appeared to exert himself to the utmost. + +I reached the street; but, before arriving at the house, I could see a +crowd of people collected about the door. + +Their movements betokened great agitation. Something very unusual had +certainly happened. It was not like the excitement caused by a wedding: +for-- + + "Then and there was hurrying to and fro, + And gathering tears, and tremblings of distress; + And cheeks all pale, which but an hour ago + Blushed at the praise of their own loveliness." + +My arrival was not noticed by any member of the family. They were +up-stairs, and I saw none of them; but from one of their guests, I +obtained the details of the sad story. I was indeed, as Jessie had said +in her letter, _too late_! + +A few minutes before my arrival, she had been found dead in her +dressing-room--with a bottle of prussic acid by her side! + +I rushed back into the cab; and ordered the driver to take me home +again. I was too much unmanned, to remain a minute longer in that house +of woe. + +I had suffered great mental agony on many previous occasions. When +alone, with the body of my companion Hiram--whom I had neglected when on +the "prospecting" expedition in California--my thoughts had been far +from pleasant. They were not agreeable when I saw my friend, Richard +Guinane, by his own act fall a corpse before my face. Great was the +pain I felt, when standing by the side of poor Stormy Jack, and looking +upon his last agonies. So was it, when my mother left me; but all +these--even the grief I felt when told that Lenore was married, were +nothing to the anguish I experienced, while riding home through the +crowded streets of London, and trying to realise the awful reality that +Jessie H--had committed suicide. A heart that but an hour ago had been +throbbing with warm love--and that love for me--was now cold and still. +A pure spirit, altogether devoted to me, had passed suddenly away-- +passed into eternity with a prayer upon her righteous lips; and that +prayer for myself! + +My anguish at her untimely end, was mingled with the fires of regret. I +submitted my conscience to a strict self-examination. Had I ever +deceived her, by pretending a love I did not feel? Was I, in any way, +to blame for the sin she had committed? Did I, in any way, lead her to +that act of self-destruction? Could her parents, in the agony of their +grief, reproach me for anything? + +These questions haunted me all that night; and I slept not. I even +endeavoured to remember something in my conduct, which had been wrong. +But I could not: for I had never talked to _her_ of love. In all, that +had passed between us, I had been true to Lenore. + +In the voyage of her life, her hopes, as well as her existence, had been +wrecked upon me; but I was no more to blame than the rock, unmarked on +map or chart, against which some noble ship has been dashed to pieces. + +In that sad letter, Jessie had expressed a hope that I would think of +her, and believe her only guilty of the crime of having loved me too +well. + +That wish died with her; but obedience to it, still lives with me. + +When I returned home, on the day of her death, I locked myself in my +chamber; and read that letter over and over again. No thoughts--not +even of Lenore--could keep the rain of sorrow from dimming my eyes, and +drowning my cheeks. + +My life may be long; faith, hope, and even love for Lenore, may become +weak within me; but never shall be effaced from my heart, the deep +feeling of sorrow for the sad fate of Jessie H--. + +May her spirit be ever blessed of God! + +Her last act was not that of self-murder. It was simply that of dying; +and if in the manner she acted wrong, it was a wrong of which we may all +be guilty. Let her not be condemned then, among those whose souls are +tainted and distorted by the vanities and hypocrisies of so-called +civilised society! + +To her family and friends, there was a mystery about the cause of her +death, that they could not unravel. Her letter to me would have +explained all; but that letter I did not produce. It would only have +added fuel to the fire of their grief--causing it to burn with greater +fierceness, and perhaps to endure longer. I did not wish to add to +their unhappiness. I had too much respect for her memory to exhibit +that epistle to any one, and see it printed, with the usual vulgar +commentary, in the papers of the day. + +The unfortunate ending of her life is now an event of the past; and her +parents have gone to rejoin her in another and happier world, else that +letter would still have remained in the secret drawer--from which it has +now been taken. + +Volume Three, Chapter XXXIV. + +THE ROLLING STONE AT REST. + +One bright May morning, from the turrets of two London churches pealed +forth the sound of bells. Sadly discordant were they in tone, yet less +so, than the causes for which they were being tolled. One was solemnly +announcing the funeral of one, who had lived too long, or died too soon. +Its mournful monotone proclaimed, that a spirit had departed from this +world of woe, while the merry peals of the other betokened a ceremony of +a far different character: that in which two souls were being united--to +enjoy the supremest happiness upon earth. + +It seemed a strange coincidence, that the very day chosen for my +marriage with Lenore should be the one appointed for the funeral of +Jessie H--. And yet such chanced to be the case. + +I knew it; and the knowledge made me sad. + +There was a time, when I would not have believed, that a cloud of sorrow +could have cast its shadow over my soul, on the day I should be wedded +to Lenore. But I did not then understand myself; or the circumstances +in which Fate was capable of placing me. + +Ten years have elapsed, since that day of mingled joy and sadness--ten +years of, I may almost say, unalloyed happiness, in the companionship of +a fond affectionate wife. During this time, I have made a few intimate +friends; and there is not one of them would believe--from the quiet, +contented manner in which I now pass my time that I had ever been a +"Rolling Stone." Since becoming a "Benedict," I have not been +altogether idle. Believing that no man can enjoy life, so well as he +who takes a part in its affairs, I was not long settled in London, +before entering into an occupation. + +I am now in partnership with Captain Nowell, who has long since +professionally forsaken the sea; and we are making a fair fortune, as +ship agents and owners. + +The only misunderstanding that has ever arisen between my brother +William and myself, has been an occasional dispute: as to which of us is +the happier. + +We often hear from "the Elephant" and our sister Martha. The last +letter received from them, informed us that we might soon expect to see +them on a visit to the "old country." + +After the melancholy event that deprived them of their daughter, Mr H-- +and his family could no longer endure a residence in England; but +returned to their colonial home. They lived to see little Rosa married, +and happy--some compensation, perhaps, for the sorrow caused by her +sister's sad fate. + +Cannon and Vane I only knew afterwards as occasional acquaintances. I +have just heard of their meeting in Paris, where a quarrel occurred +between them--resulting in a duel, in which the latter was killed. I +have also heard, that, since the affair, Cannon has been seen at +Baden-Baden--earning his livelihood as the croupier of a gaming table! + +Mrs Nagger and my brother's wife did not continue many months under the +same roof; and the old housekeeper is now a member of my household--a +circumstance of which I am sometimes inclined to say in her own words, +"More's the pity;" but this reflection is subdued, every time it arises, +by respect for her many good qualities, and a regard for the welfare of +my children. + +Her days will probably be ended in my house; and, when that time comes, +I shall perhaps feel inclined to erect over her grave a stone, bearing +the inscription: + + "Jane Nagger, + Died + And more's the pity!" + +Yet, I hope that many years may pass, ere I shall be called upon to +incur any such expense on her account. + +There was a time when roaming through the world, and toiling for Lenore, +I thought I was happy. When riding over the broad plateaux of Mexico, +amidst the scenes of lonely grandeur that there surrounded me--as also +when toiling amidst the scenes of busier life in California--I believed +my existence to be one of perfect happiness. I was travelling, and +toiling, for Lenore. + +But now that years have passed, and Lenore is mine--I find that what I +then deemed happiness was but a prophetic dream. It is while seated by +my own tranquil hearth, with my children around me, and she by my side-- +that true happiness finds its home in my heart. + +When I allow my thoughts to dwell solemnly on the gifts that God has +bestowed upon me, I feel grateful to that Providence that has watched +over my fortunes, and ruled my heart to love only one--_only_ "Lost +Lenore." + +THE END. + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Lost Lenore, by Charles Beach + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LOST LENORE *** + +***** This file should be named 35443.txt or 35443.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/4/4/35443/ + +Produced by Nick Hodson of London, England + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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