diff options
Diffstat (limited to '3544-h')
| -rw-r--r-- | 3544-h/3544-h.htm | 1717 |
1 files changed, 1717 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/3544-h/3544-h.htm b/3544-h/3544-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..64b1c12 --- /dev/null +++ b/3544-h/3544-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1717 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="us-ascii"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + How he Lied to Her Husband, by George Bernard Shaw + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +Project Gutenberg's How He Lied to Her Husband, by George Bernard Shaw + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: How He Lied to Her Husband + +Author: George Bernard Shaw + +Release Date: February 9, 2009 [EBook #3544] +Last Updated: December 10, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW HE LIED TO HER HUSBAND *** + + + + +Produced by Eve Sobol, and David Widger + + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + HOW HE LIED TO HER HUSBAND + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By George Bernard Shaw + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PREF"> PREFACE </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> HOW HE LIED TO HER HUSBAND </a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_PREF" id="link2H_PREF"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + PREFACE + </h2> + <p> + Like many other works of mine, this playlet is a piece d'occasion. In 1905 + it happened that Mr Arnold Daly, who was then playing the part of Napoleon + in The Man of Destiny in New York, found that whilst the play was too long + to take a secondary place in the evening's performance, it was too short + to suffice by itself. I therefore took advantage of four days continuous + rain during a holiday in the north of Scotland to write How He Lied To Her + Husband for Mr Daly. In his hands, it served its turn very effectively. + </p> + <p> + I print it here as a sample of what can be done with even the most + hackneyed stage framework by filling it in with an observed touch of + actual humanity instead of with doctrinaire romanticism. Nothing in the + theatre is staler than the situation of husband, wife and lover, or the + fun of knockabout farce. I have taken both, and got an original play out + of them, as anybody else can if only he will look about him for his + material instead of plagiarizing Othello and the thousand plays that have + proceeded on Othello's romantic assumptions and false point of honor. + </p> + <p> + A further experiment made by Mr Arnold Daly with this play is worth + recording. In 1905 Mr Daly produced Mrs Warren's Profession in New York. + The press of that city instantly raised a cry that such persons as Mrs + Warren are "ordure," and should not be mentioned in the presence of decent + people. This hideous repudiation of humanity and social conscience so took + possession of the New York journalists that the few among them who kept + their feet morally and intellectually could do nothing to check the + epidemic of foul language, gross suggestion, and raving obscenity of word + and thought that broke out. The writers abandoned all self-restraint under + the impression that they were upholding virtue instead of outraging it. + They infected each other with their hysteria until they were for all + practical purposes indecently mad. They finally forced the police to + arrest Mr Daly and his company, and led the magistrate to express his + loathing of the duty thus forced upon him of reading an unmentionable and + abominable play. Of course the convulsion soon exhausted itself. The + magistrate, naturally somewhat impatient when he found that what he had to + read was a strenuously ethical play forming part of a book which had been + in circulation unchallenged for eight years, and had been received without + protest by the whole London and New York press, gave the journalists a + piece of his mind as to their moral taste in plays. By consent, he passed + the case on to a higher court, which declared that the play was not + immoral; acquitted Mr Daly; and made an end of the attempt to use the law + to declare living women to be "ordure," and thus enforce silence as to the + far-reaching fact that you cannot cheapen women in the market for + industrial purposes without cheapening them for other purposes as well. I + hope Mrs Warren's Profession will be played everywhere, in season and out + of season, until Mrs Warren has bitten that fact into the public + conscience, and shamed the newspapers which support a tariff to keep up + the price of every American commodity except American manhood and + womanhood. + </p> + <p> + Unfortunately, Mr Daly had already suffered the usual fate of those who + direct public attention to the profits of the sweater or the pleasures of + the voluptuary. He was morally lynched side by side with me. Months + elapsed before the decision of the courts vindicated him; and even then, + since his vindication implied the condemnation of the press, which was by + that time sober again, and ashamed of its orgy, his triumph received a + rather sulky and grudging publicity. In the meantime he had hardly been + able to approach an American city, including even those cities which had + heaped applause on him as the defender of hearth and home when he produced + Candida, without having to face articles discussing whether mothers could + allow their daughters to attend such plays as You Never Can Tell, written + by the infamous author of Mrs Warren's Profession, and acted by the + monster who produced it. What made this harder to bear was that though no + fact is better established in theatrical business than the financial + disastrousness of moral discredit, the journalists who had done all the + mischief kept paying vice the homage of assuming that it is enormously + popular and lucrative, and that I and Mr Daly, being exploiters of vice, + must therefore be making colossal fortunes out of the abuse heaped on us, + and had in fact provoked it and welcomed it with that express object. + Ignorance of real life could hardly go further. + </p> + <p> + One consequence was that Mr Daly could not have kept his financial + engagements or maintained his hold on the public had he not accepted + engagements to appear for a season in the vaudeville theatres [the + American equivalent of our music halls], where he played How He Lied to + Her Husband comparatively unhampered by the press censorship of the + theatre, or by that sophistication of the audience through press + suggestion from which I suffer more, perhaps, than any other author. + Vaudeville authors are fortunately unknown: the audiences see what the + play contains and what the actor can do, not what the papers have told + them to expect. Success under such circumstances had a value both for Mr + Daly and myself which did something to console us for the very unsavory + mobbing which the New York press organized for us, and which was not the + less disgusting because we suffered in a good cause and in the very best + company. + </p> + <p> + Mr Daly, having weathered the storm, can perhaps shake his soul free of it + as he heads for fresh successes with younger authors. But I have certain + sensitive places in my soul: I do not like that word "ordure." Apply it to + my work, and I can afford to smile, since the world, on the whole, will + smile with me. But to apply it to the woman in the street, whose spirit is + of one substance with our own and her body no less holy: to look your + women folk in the face afterwards and not go out and hang yourself: that + is not on the list of pardonable sins. + </p> + <p> + POSTSCRIPT. Since the above was written news has arrived from America that + a leading New York newspaper, which was among the most abusively clamorous + for the suppression of Mrs Warren's Profession, has just been fined + heavily for deriving part of its revenue from advertisements of Mrs + Warren's houses. + </p> + <p> + Many people have been puzzled by the fact that whilst stage entertainments + which are frankly meant to act on the spectators as aphrodisiacs, are + everywhere tolerated, plays which have an almost horrifyingly contrary + effect are fiercely attacked by persons and papers notoriously indifferent + to public morals on all other occasions. The explanation is very simple. + The profits of Mrs Warren's profession are shared not only by Mrs Warren + and Sir George Crofts, but by the landlords of their houses, the + newspapers which advertize them, the restaurants which cater for them, + and, in short, all the trades to which they are good customers, not to + mention the public officials and representatives whom they silence by + complicity, corruption, or blackmail. Add to these the employers who + profit by cheap female labor, and the shareholders whose dividends depend + on it [you find such people everywhere, even on the judicial bench and in + the highest places in Church and State], and you get a large and powerful + class with a strong pecuniary incentive to protect Mrs Warren's + profession, and a correspondingly strong incentive to conceal, from their + own consciences no less than from the world, the real sources of their + gain. These are the people who declare that it is feminine vice and not + poverty that drives women to the streets, as if vicious women with + independent incomes ever went there. These are the people who, indulgent + or indifferent to aphrodisiac plays, raise the moral hue and cry against + performances of Mrs Warren's Profession, and drag actresses to the police + court to be insulted, bullied, and threatened for fulfilling their + engagements. For please observe that the judicial decision in New York + State in favor of the play does not end the matter. In Kansas City, for + instance, the municipality, finding itself restrained by the courts from + preventing the performance, fell back on a local bye-law against indecency + to evade the Constitution of the United States. They summoned the actress + who impersonated Mrs Warren to the police court, and offered her and her + colleagues the alternative of leaving the city or being prosecuted under + this bye-law. + </p> + <p> + Now nothing is more possible than that the city councillors who suddenly + displayed such concern for the morals of the theatre were either Mrs + Warren's landlords, or employers of women at starvation wages, or + restaurant keepers, or newspaper proprietors, or in some other more or + less direct way sharers of the profits of her trade. No doubt it is + equally possible that they were simply stupid men who thought that + indecency consists, not in evil, but in mentioning it. I have, however, + been myself a member of a municipal council, and have not found municipal + councillors quite so simple and inexperienced as this. At all events I do + not propose to give the Kansas councillors the benefit of the doubt. I + therefore advise the public at large, which will finally decide the + matter, to keep a vigilant eye on gentlemen who will stand anything at the + theatre except a performance of Mrs Warren's Profession, and who assert in + the same breath that [a] the play is too loathsome to be bearable by + civilized people, and [b] that unless its performance is prohibited the + whole town will throng to see it. They may be merely excited and foolish; + but I am bound to warn the public that it is equally likely that they may + be collected and knavish. + </p> + <p> + At all events, to prohibit the play is to protect the evil which the play + exposes; and in view of that fact, I see no reason for assuming that the + prohibitionists are disinterested moralists, and that the author, the + managers, and the performers, who depend for their livelihood on their + personal reputations and not on rents, advertisements, or dividends, are + grossly inferior to them in moral sense and public responsibility. + </p> + <p> + It is true that in Mrs Warren's Profession, Society, and not any + individual, is the villain of the piece; but it does not follow that the + people who take offence at it are all champions of society. Their + credentials cannot be too carefully examined. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + HOW HE LIED TO HER HUSBAND + </h2> + <div class="play"> + <p> + It is eight o'clock in the evening. The curtains are drawn and the lamps + lighted in the drawing room of Her flat in Cromwell Road. Her lover, a + beautiful youth of eighteen, in evening dress and cape, with a bunch of + flowers and an opera hat in his hands, comes in alone. The door is near + the corner; and as he appears in the doorway, he has the fireplace on + the nearest wall to his right, and the grand piano along the opposite + wall to his left. Near the fireplace a small ornamental table has on it + a hand mirror, a fan, a pair of long white gloves, and a little white + woollen cloud to wrap a woman's head in. On the other side of the room, + near the piano, is a broad, square, softly up-holstered stool. The room + is furnished in the most approved South Kensington fashion: that is, it + is as like a show room as possible, and is intended to demonstrate the + racial position and spending powers of its owners, and not in the least + to make them comfortable. + </p> + <p> + He is, be it repeated, a very beautiful youth, moving as in a dream, + walking as on air. He puts his flowers down carefully on the table + beside the fan; takes off his cape, and, as there is no room on the + table for it, takes it to the piano; puts his hat on the cape; crosses + to the hearth; looks at his watch; puts it up again; notices the things + on the table; lights up as if he saw heaven opening before him; goes to + the table and takes the cloud in both hands, nestling his nose into its + softness and kissing it; kisses the gloves one after another; kisses the + fan: gasps a long shuddering sigh of ecstasy; sits down on the stool and + presses his hands to his eyes to shut out reality and dream a little; + takes his hands down and shakes his head with a little smile of rebuke + for his folly; catches sight of a speck of dust on his shoes and hastily + and carefully brushes it off with his handkerchief; rises and takes the + hand mirror from the table to make sure of his tie with the gravest + anxiety; and is looking at his watch again when She comes in, much + flustered. As she is dressed for the theatre; has spoilt, petted ways; + and wears many diamonds, she has an air of being a young and beautiful + woman; but as a matter of hard fact, she is, dress and pretensions + apart, a very ordinary South Kensington female of about 37, hopelessly + inferior in physical and spiritual distinction to the beautiful youth, + who hastily puts down the mirror as she enters. + </p> + <p> + HE [kissing her hand] At last! + </p> + <p> + SHE. Henry: something dreadful has happened. + </p> + <p> + HE. What's the matter? + </p> + <p> + SHE. I have lost your poems. + </p> + <p> + HE. They were unworthy of you. I will write you some more. + </p> + <p> + SHE. No, thank you. Never any more poems for me. Oh, how could I have + been so mad! so rash! so imprudent! + </p> + <p> + HE. Thank Heaven for your madness, your rashness, your imprudence! + </p> + <p> + SHE [impatiently] Oh, be sensible, Henry. Can't you see what a terrible + thing this is for me? Suppose anybody finds these poems! what will they + think? + </p> + <p> + HE. They will think that a man once loved a woman more devotedly than + ever man loved woman before. But they will not know what man it was. + </p> + <p> + SHE. What good is that to me if everybody will know what woman it was? + </p> + <p> + HE. But how will they know? + </p> + <p> + SHE. How will they know! Why, my name is all over them: my silly, + unhappy name. Oh, if I had only been christened Mary Jane, or Gladys + Muriel, or Beatrice, or Francesca, or Guinevere, or something quite + common! But Aurora! Aurora! I'm the only Aurora in London; and everybody + knows it. I believe I'm the only Aurora in the world. And it's so + horribly easy to rhyme to it! Oh, Henry, why didn't you try to restrain + your feelings a little in common consideration for me? Why didn't you + write with some little reserve? + </p> + <p> + HE. Write poems to you with reserve! You ask me that! + </p> + <p> + SHE [with perfunctory tenderness] Yes, dear, of course it was very nice + of you; and I know it was my own fault as much as yours. I ought to have + noticed that your verses ought never to have been addressed to a married + woman. + </p> + <p> + HE. Ah, how I wish they had been addressed to an unmarried woman! how I + wish they had! + </p> + <p> + SHE. Indeed you have no right to wish anything of the sort. They are + quite unfit for anybody but a married woman. That's just the difficulty. + What will my sisters-in-law think of them? + </p> + <p> + HE [painfully jarred] Have you got sisters-in-law? + </p> + <p> + SHE. Yes, of course I have. Do you suppose I am an angel? + </p> + <p> + HE [biting his lips] I do. Heaven help me, I do—or I did—or + [he almost chokes a sob]. + </p> + <p> + SHE [softening and putting her hand caressingly on his shoulder] Listen + to me, dear. It's very nice of you to live with me in a dream, and to + love me, and so on; but I can't help my husband having disagreeable + relatives, can I? + </p> + <p> + HE [brightening up] Ah, of course they are your husband's relatives: I + forgot that. Forgive me, Aurora. [He takes her hand from his shoulder + and kisses it. She sits down on the stool. He remains near the table, + with his back to it, smiling fatuously down at her]. + </p> + <p> + SHE. The fact is, Teddy's got nothing but relatives. He has eight + sisters and six half-sisters, and ever so many brothers—but I + don't mind his brothers. Now if you only knew the least little thing + about the world, Henry, you'd know that in a large family, though the + sisters quarrel with one another like mad all the time, yet let one of + the brothers marry, and they all turn on their unfortunate sister-in-law + and devote the rest of their lives with perfect unanimity to persuading + him that his wife is unworthy of him. They can do it to her very face + without her knowing it, because there are always a lot of stupid low + family jokes that nobody understands but themselves. Half the time you + can't tell what they're talking about: it just drives you wild. There + ought to be a law against a man's sister ever entering his house after + he's married. I'm as certain as that I'm sitting here that Georgina + stole those poems out of my workbox. + </p> + <p> + HE. She will not understand them, I think. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Oh, won't she! She'll understand them only too well. She'll + understand more harm than ever was in them: nasty vulgar-minded cat! + </p> + <p> + HE [going to her] Oh don't, don't think of people in that way. Don't + think of her at all. [He takes her hand and sits down on the carpet at + her feet]. Aurora: do you remember the evening when I sat here at your + feet and read you those poems for the first time? + </p> + <p> + SHE. I shouldn't have let you: I see that now. When I think of Georgina + sitting there at Teddy's feet and reading them to him for the first + time, I feel I shall just go distracted. + </p> + <p> + HE. Yes, you are right. It will be a profanation. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Oh, I don't care about the profanation; but what will Teddy think? + what will he do? [Suddenly throwing his head away from her knee]. You + don't seem to think a bit about Teddy. [She jumps up, more and more + agitated]. + </p> + <p> + HE [supine on the floor; for she has thrown him off his balance] To me + Teddy is nothing, and Georgina less than nothing. + </p> + <p> + SHE. You'll soon find out how much less than nothing she is. If you + think a woman can't do any harm because she's only a scandalmongering + dowdy ragbag, you're greatly mistaken. [She flounces about the room. He + gets up slowly and dusts his hands. Suddenly she runs to him and throws + herself into his arms]. Henry: help me. Find a way out of this for me; + and I'll bless you as long as you live. Oh, how wretched I am! [She sobs + on his breast]. + </p> + <p> + HE. And oh! how happy I am! + </p> + <p> + SHE [whisking herself abruptly away] Don't be selfish. + </p> + <p> + HE [humbly] Yes: I deserve that. I think if I were going to the stake + with you, I should still be so happy with you that I could hardly feel + your danger more than my own. + </p> + <p> + SHE [relenting and patting his hand fondly] Oh, you are a dear darling + boy, Henry; but [throwing his hand away fretfully] you're no use. I want + somebody to tell me what to do. + </p> + <p> + HE [with quiet conviction] Your heart will tell you at the right time. I + have thought deeply over this; and I know what we two must do, sooner or + later. + </p> + <p> + SHE. No, Henry. I will do nothing improper, nothing dishonorable. [She + sits down plump on the stool and looks inflexible]. + </p> + <p> + HE. If you did, you would no longer be Aurora. Our course is perfectly + simple, perfectly straightforward, perfectly stainless and true. We love + one another. I am not ashamed of that: I am ready to go out and proclaim + it to all London as simply as I will declare it to your husband when you + see—as you soon will see—that this is the only way honorable + enough for your feet to tread. Let us go out together to our own house, + this evening, without concealment and without shame. Remember! we owe + something to your husband. We are his guests here: he is an honorable + man: he has been kind to us: he has perhaps loved you as well as his + prosaic nature and his sordid commercial environment permitted. We owe + it to him in all honor not to let him learn the truth from the lips of a + scandalmonger. Let us go to him now quietly, hand in hand; bid him + farewell; and walk out of the house without concealment and subterfuge, + freely and honestly, in full honor and self-respect. + </p> + <p> + SHE [staring at him] And where shall we go to? + </p> + <p> + HE. We shall not depart by a hair's breadth from the ordinary natural + current of our lives. We were going to the theatre when the loss of the + poems compelled us to take action at once. We shall go to the theatre + still; but we shall leave your diamonds here; for we cannot afford + diamonds, and do not need them. + </p> + <p> + SHE [fretfully] I have told you already that I hate diamonds; only Teddy + insists on hanging me all over with them. You need not preach simplicity + to me. + </p> + <p> + HE. I never thought of doing so, dearest: I know that these trivialities + are nothing to you. What was I saying—oh yes. Instead of coming + back here from the theatre, you will come with me to my home—now + and henceforth our home—and in due course of time, when you are + divorced, we shall go through whatever idle legal ceremony you may + desire. I attach no importance to the law: my love was not created in me + by the law, nor can it be bound or loosed by it. That is simple enough, + and sweet enough, is it not? [He takes the flower from the table]. Here + are flowers for you: I have the tickets: we will ask your husband to + lend us the carriage to show that there is no malice, no grudge, between + us. Come! + </p> + <p> + SHE [spiritlessly, taking the flowers without looking at them, and + temporizing] Teddy isn't in yet. + </p> + <p> + HE. Well, let us take that calmly. Let us go to the theatre as if + nothing had happened, and tell him when we come back. Now or three hours + hence: to-day or to-morrow: what does it matter, provided all is done in + honor, without shame or fear? + </p> + <p> + SHE. What did you get tickets for? Lohengrin? + </p> + <p> + HE. I tried; but Lohengrin was sold out for to-night. [He takes out two + Court Theatre tickets]. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Then what did you get? + </p> + <p> + HE. Can you ask me? What is there besides Lohengrin that we two could + endure, except Candida? + </p> + <p> + SHE [springing up] Candida! No, I won't go to it again, Henry [tossing + the flower on the piano]. It is that play that has done all the + mischief. I'm very sorry I ever saw it: it ought to be stopped. + </p> + <p> + HE [amazed] Aurora! + </p> + <p> + SHE. Yes: I mean it. + </p> + <p> + HE. That divinest love poem! the poem that gave us courage to speak to + one another! that revealed to us what we really felt for one another! + That— + </p> + <p> + SHE. Just so. It put a lot of stuff into my head that I should never + have dreamt of for myself. I imagined myself just like Candida. + </p> + <p> + HE [catching her hands and looking earnestly at her] You were right. You + are like Candida. + </p> + <p> + SHE [snatching her hands away] Oh, stuff! And I thought you were just + like Eugene. [Looking critically at him] Now that I come to look at you, + you are rather like him, too. [She throws herself discontentedly into + the nearest seat, which happens to be the bench at the piano. He goes to + her]. + </p> + <p> + HE [very earnestly] Aurora: if Candida had loved Eugene she would have + gone out into the night with him without a moment's hesitation. + </p> + <p> + SHE [with equal earnestness] Henry: do you know what's wanting in that + play? + </p> + <p> + HE. There is nothing wanting in it. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Yes there is. There's a Georgina wanting in it. If Georgina had + been there to make trouble, that play would have been a true-to-life + tragedy. Now I'll tell you something about it that I have never told you + before. + </p> + <p> + HE. What is that? + </p> + <p> + SHE. I took Teddy to it. I thought it would do him good; and so it would + if I could only have kept him awake. Georgina came too; and you should + have heard the way she went on about it. She said it was downright + immoral, and that she knew the sort of woman that encourages boys to sit + on the hearthrug and make love to her. She was just preparing Teddy's + mind to poison it about me. + </p> + <p> + HE. Let us be just to Georgina, dearest + </p> + <p> + SHE. Let her deserve it first. Just to Georgina, indeed! + </p> + <p> + HE. She really sees the world in that way. That is her punishment. + </p> + <p> + SHE. How can it be her punishment when she likes it? It'll be my + punishment when she brings that budget of poems to Teddy. I wish you'd + have some sense, and sympathize with my position a little. + </p> + <p> + HE. [going away from the piano and beginning to walk about rather + testily] My dear: I really don't care about Georgina or about Teddy. All + these squabbles belong to a plane on which I am, as you say, no use. I + have counted the cost; and I do not fear the consequences. After all, + what is there to fear? Where is the difficulty? What can Georgina do? + What can your husband do? What can anybody do? + </p> + <p> + SHE. Do you mean to say that you propose that we should walk right bang + up to Teddy and tell him we're going away together? + </p> + <p> + HE. Yes. What can be simpler? + </p> + <p> + SHE. And do you think for a moment he'd stand it, like that half-baked + clergyman in the play? He'd just kill you. + </p> + <p> + HE [coming to a sudden stop and speaking with considerable confidence] + You don't understand these things, my darling, how could you? In one + respect I am unlike the poet in the play. I have followed the Greek + ideal and not neglected the culture of my body. Your husband would make + a tolerable second-rate heavy weight if he were in training and ten + years younger. As it is, he could, if strung up to a great effort by a + burst of passion, give a good account of himself for perhaps fifteen + seconds. But I am active enough to keep out of his reach for fifteen + seconds; and after that I should be simply all over him. + </p> + <p> + SHE [rising and coming to him in consternation] What do you mean by all + over him? + </p> + <p> + HE [gently] Don't ask me, dearest. At all events, I swear to you that + you need not be anxious about me. + </p> + <p> + SHE. And what about Teddy? Do you mean to tell me that you are going to + beat Teddy before my face like a brutal prizefighter? + </p> + <p> + HE. All this alarm is needless, dearest. Believe me, nothing will + happen. Your husband knows that I am capable of defending myself. Under + such circumstances nothing ever does happen. And of course I shall do + nothing. The man who once loved you is sacred to me. + </p> + <p> + SHE [suspiciously] Doesn't he love me still? Has he told you anything? + </p> + <p> + HE. No, no. [He takes her tenderly in his arms]. Dearest, dearest: how + agitated you are! how unlike yourself! All these worries belong to the + lower plane. Come up with me to the higher one. The heights, the + solitudes, the soul world! + </p> + <p> + SHE [avoiding his gaze] No: stop: it's no use, Mr Apjohn. + </p> + <p> + HE [recoiling] Mr Apjohn!!! + </p> + <p> + SHE. Excuse me: I meant Henry, of course. + </p> + <p> + HE. How could you even think of me as Mr Apjohn? I never think of you as + Mrs Bompas: it is always Cand— I mean Aurora, Aurora, Auro— + </p> + <p> + SHE. Yes, yes: that's all very well, Mr Apjohn [He is about to interrupt + again: but she won't have it] no: it's no use: I've suddenly begun to + think of you as Mr Apjohn; and it's ridiculous to go on calling you + Henry. I thought you were only a boy, a child, a dreamer. I thought you + would be too much afraid to do anything. And now you want to beat Teddy + and to break up my home and disgrace me and make a horrible scandal in + the papers. It's cruel, unmanly, cowardly. + </p> + <p> + HE [with grave wonder] Are you afraid? + </p> + <p> + SHE. Oh, of course I'm afraid. So would you be if you had any common + sense. [She goes to the hearth, turning her back to him, and puts one + tapping foot on the fender]. + </p> + <p> + HE [watching her with great gravity] Perfect love casteth out fear. That + is why I am not afraid. Mrs Bompas: you do not love me. + </p> + <p> + SHE [turning to him with a gasp of relief] Oh, thank you, thank you! You + really can be very nice, Henry. + </p> + <p> + HE. Why do you thank me? + </p> + <p> + SHE [coming prettily to him from the fireplace] For calling me Mrs + Bompas again. I feel now that you are going to be reasonable and behave + like a gentleman. [He drops on the stool; covers his face with his hand; + and groans]. What's the matter? + </p> + <p> + HE. Once or twice in my life I have dreamed that I was exquisitely happy + and blessed. But oh! the misgiving at the first stir of consciousness! + the stab of reality! the prison walls of the bedroom! the bitter, bitter + disappointment of waking! And this time! oh, this time I thought I was + awake. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Listen to me, Henry: we really haven't time for all that sort of + flapdoodle now. [He starts to his feet as if she had pulled a trigger + and straightened him by the release of a powerful spring, and goes past + her with set teeth to the little table]. Oh, take care: you nearly hit + me in the chin with the top of your head. + </p> + <p> + HE [with fierce politeness] I beg your pardon. What is it you want me to + do? I am at your service. I am ready to behave like a gentleman if you + will be kind enough to explain exactly how. + </p> + <p> + SHE [a little frightened] Thank you, Henry: I was sure you would. You're + not angry with me, are you? + </p> + <p> + HE. Go on. Go on quickly. Give me something to think about, or I will—I + will—[he suddenly snatches up her fan and it about to break it in + his clenched fists]. + </p> + <p> + SHE [running forward and catching at the fan, with loud lamentation] + Don't break my fan—no, don't. [He slowly relaxes his grip of it as + she draws it anxiously out of his hands]. No, really, that's a stupid + trick. I don't like that. You've no right to do that. [She opens the + fan, and finds that the sticks are disconnected]. Oh, how could you be + so inconsiderate? + </p> + <p> + HE. I beg your pardon. I will buy you a new one. + </p> + <p> + SHE [querulously] You will never be able to match it. And it was a + particular favorite of mine. + </p> + <p> + HE [shortly] Then you will have to do without it: that's all. + </p> + <p> + SHE. That's not a very nice thing to say after breaking my pet fan, I + think. + </p> + <p> + HE. If you knew how near I was to breaking Teddy's pet wife and + presenting him with the pieces, you would be thankful that you are alive + instead of—of—of howling about five shillings worth of + ivory. Damn your fan! + </p> + <p> + SHE. Oh! Don't you dare swear in my presence. One would think you were + my husband. + </p> + <p> + HE [again collapsing on the stool] This is some horrible dream. What has + become of you? You are not my Aurora. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Oh, well, if you come to that, what has become of you? Do you think + I would ever have encouraged you if I had known you were such a little + devil? + </p> + <p> + HE. Don't drag me down—don't—don't. Help me to find the way + back to the heights. + </p> + <p> + SHE [kneeling beside him and pleading] If you would only be reasonable, + Henry. If you would only remember that I am on the brink of ruin, and + not go on calmly saying it's all quite simple. + </p> + <p> + HE. It seems so to me. + </p> + <p> + SHE [jumping up distractedly] If you say that again I shall do something + I'll be sorry for. Here we are, standing on the edge of a frightful + precipice. No doubt it's quite simple to go over and have done with it. + But can't you suggest anything more agreeable? + </p> + <p> + HE. I can suggest nothing now. A chill black darkness has fallen: I can + see nothing but the ruins of our dream. [He rises with a deep sigh]. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Can't you? Well, I can. I can see Georgina rubbing those poems into + Teddy. [Facing him determinedly] And I tell you, Henry Apjohn, that you + got me into this mess; and you must get me out of it again. + </p> + <p> + HE [polite and hopeless] All I can say is that I am entirely at your + service. What do you wish me to do? + </p> + <p> + SHE. Do you know anybody else named Aurora? + </p> + <p> + HE. No. + </p> + <p> + SHE. There's no use in saying No in that frozen pigheaded way. You must + know some Aurora or other somewhere. + </p> + <p> + HE. You said you were the only Aurora in the world. And [lifting his + clasped fists with a sudden return of his emotion] oh God! you were the + only Aurora in the world to me. [He turns away from her, hiding his + face]. + </p> + <p> + SHE [petting him] Yes, yes, dear: of course. It's very nice of you; and + I appreciate it: indeed I do; but it's not reasonable just at present. + Now just listen to me. I suppose you know all those poems by heart. + </p> + <p> + HE. Yes, by heart. [Raising his head and looking at her, with a sudden + suspicion] Don't you? + </p> + <p> + SHE. Well, I never can remember verses; and besides, I've been so busy + that I've not had time to read them all; though I intend to the very + first moment I can get: I promise you that most faithfully, Henry. But + now try and remember very particularly. Does the name of Bompas occur in + any of the poems? + </p> + <p> + HE [indignantly] No. + </p> + <p> + SHE. You're quite sure? + </p> + <p> + HE. Of course I am quite sure. How could I use such a name in a poem? + </p> + <p> + SHE. Well, I don't see why not. It rhymes to rumpus, which seems + appropriate enough at present, goodness knows! However, you're a poet, + and you ought to know. + </p> + <p> + HE. What does it matter—now? + </p> + <p> + SHE. It matters a lot, I can tell you. If there's nothing about Bompas + in the poems, we can say that they were written to some other Aurora, + and that you showed them to me because my name was Aurora too. So you've + got to invent another Aurora for the occasion. + </p> + <p> + HE [very coldly] Oh, if you wish me to tell a lie— + </p> + <p> + SHE. Surely, as a man of honor—as a gentleman, you wouldn't tell + the truth, would you? + </p> + <p> + HE. Very well. You have broken my spirit and desecrated my dreams. I + will lie and protest and stand on my honor: oh, I will play the + gentleman, never fear. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Yes, put it all on me, of course. Don't be mean, Henry. + </p> + <p> + HE [rousing himself with an effort] You are quite right, Mrs Bompas: I + beg your pardon. You must excuse my temper. I have got growing pains, I + think. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Growing pains! + </p> + <p> + HE. The process of growing from romantic boyhood into cynical maturity + usually takes fifteen years. When it is compressed into fifteen minutes, + the pace is too fast; and growing pains are the result. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Oh, is this a time for cleverness? It's settled, isn't it, that + you're going to be nice and good, and that you'll brazen it out to Teddy + that you have some other Aurora? + </p> + <p> + HE. Yes: I'm capable of anything now. I should not have told him the + truth by halves; and now I will not lie by halves. I'll wallow in the + honor of a gentleman. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Dearest boy, I knew you would. I—Sh! [she rushes to the door, + and holds it ajar, listening breathlessly]. + </p> + <p> + HE. What is it? + </p> + <p> + SHE [white with apprehension] It's Teddy: I hear him tapping the new + barometer. He can't have anything serious on his mind or he wouldn't do + that. Perhaps Georgina hasn't said anything. [She steals back to the + hearth]. Try and look as if there was nothing the matter. Give me my + gloves, quick. [He hands them to her. She pulls on one hastily and + begins buttoning it with ostentatious unconcern]. Go further away from + me, quick. [He walks doggedly away from her until the piano prevents his + going farther]. If I button my glove, and you were to hum a tune, don't + you think that— + </p> + <p> + HE. The tableau would be complete in its guiltiness. For Heaven's sake, + Mrs Bompas, let that glove alone: you look like a pickpocket. + </p> + <p> + Her husband comes in: a robust, thicknecked, well groomed city man, with + a strong chin but a blithering eye and credulous mouth. He has a + momentous air, but shows no sign of displeasure: rather the contrary. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Hallo! I thought you two were at the theatre. + </p> + <p> + SHE. I felt anxious about you, Teddy. Why didn't you come home to + dinner? + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. I got a message from Georgina. She wanted me to go to her. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Poor dear Georgina! I'm sorry I haven't been able to call on her + this last week. I hope there's nothing the matter with her. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Nothing, except anxiety for my welfare and yours. [She + steals a terrified look at Henry]. By, the way, Apjohn, I should like a + word with you this evening, if Aurora can spare you for a moment. + </p> + <p> + HE [formally] I am at your service. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. No hurry. After the theatre will do. + </p> + <p> + HE. We have decided not to go. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Indeed! Well, then, shall we adjourn to my snuggery? + </p> + <p> + SHE. You needn't move. I shall go and lock up my diamonds since I'm not + going to the theatre. Give me my things. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [as he hands her the cloud and the mirror] Well, we shall + have more room here. + </p> + <p> + HE [looking about him and shaking his shoulders loose] I think I should + prefer plenty of room. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. So, if it's not disturbing you, Rory—? + </p> + <p> + SHE. Not at all. [She goes out]. + </p> + <p> + When the two men are alone together, Bompas deliberately takes the poems + from his breast pocket; looks at them reflectively; then looks at Henry, + mutely inviting his attention. Henry refuses to understand, doing his + best to look unconcerned. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Do these manuscripts seem at all familiar to you, may I + ask? + </p> + <p> + HE. Manuscripts? + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Yes. Would you like to look at them a little closer? [He + proffers them under Henry's nose]. + </p> + <p> + HE [as with a sudden illumination of glad surprise] Why, these are my + poems. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. So I gather. + </p> + <p> + HE. What a shame! Mrs Bompas has shown them to you! You must think me an + utter ass. I wrote them years ago after reading Swinburne's Songs Before + Sunrise. Nothing would do me then but I must reel off a set of Songs to + the Sunrise. Aurora, you know: the rosy fingered Aurora. They're all + about Aurora. When Mrs Bompas told me her name was Aurora, I couldn't + resist the temptation to lend them to her to read. But I didn't bargain + for your unsympathetic eyes. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [grinning] Apjohn: that's really very ready of you. You are + cut out for literature; and the day will come when Rory and I will be + proud to have you about the house. I have heard far thinner stories from + much older men. + </p> + <p> + HE [with an air of great surprise] Do you mean to imply that you don't + believe me? + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Do you expect me to believe you? + </p> + <p> + HE. Why not? I don't understand. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Come! Don't underrate your own cleverness, Apjohn. I think + you understand pretty well. + </p> + <p> + HE. I assure you I am quite at a loss. Can you not be a little more + explicit? + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Don't overdo it, old chap. However, I will just be so far + explicit as to say that if you think these poems read as if they were + addressed, not to a live woman, but to a shivering cold time of day at + which you were never out of bed in your life, you hardly do justice to + your own literary powers—which I admire and appreciate, mind you, + as much as any man. Come! own up. You wrote those poems to my wife. [An + internal struggle prevents Henry from answering]. Of course you did. [He + throws the poems on the table; and goes to the hearthrug, where he + plants himself solidly, chuckling a little and waiting for the next + move]. + </p> + <p> + HE [formally and carefully] Mr Bompas: I pledge you my word you are + mistaken. I need not tell you that Mrs Bompas is a lady of stainless + honor, who has never cast an unworthy thought on me. The fact that she + has shown you my poems— + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. That's not a fact. I came by them without her knowledge. + She didn't show them to me. + </p> + <p> + HE. Does not that prove their perfect innocence? She would have shown + them to you at once if she had taken your quite unfounded view of them. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [shaken] Apjohn: play fair. Don't abuse your intellectual + gifts. Do you really mean that I am making a fool of myself? + </p> + <p> + HE [earnestly] Believe me, you are. I assure you, on my honor as a + gentleman, that I have never had the slightest feeling for Mrs Bompas + beyond the ordinary esteem and regard of a pleasant acquaintance. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [shortly, showing ill humor for the first time] Oh, indeed. + [He leaves his hearth and begins to approach Henry slowly, looking him + up and down with growing resentment]. + </p> + <p> + HE [hastening to improve the impression made by his mendacity] I should + never have dreamt of writing poems to her. The thing is absurd. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [reddening ominously] Why is it absurd? + </p> + <p> + HE [shrugging his shoulders] Well, it happens that I do not admire Mrs + Bompas—in that way. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [breaking out in Henry's face] Let me tell you that Mrs + Bompas has been admired by better men than you, you soapy headed little + puppy, you. + </p> + <p> + HE [much taken aback] There is no need to insult me like this. I assure + you, on my honor as a— + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [too angry to tolerate a reply, and boring Henry more and + more towards the piano] You don't admire Mrs Bompas! You would never + dream of writing poems to Mrs Bompas! My wife's not good enough for you, + isn't she. [Fiercely] Who are you, pray, that you should be so jolly + superior? + </p> + <p> + HE. Mr Bompas: I can make allowances for your jealousy— + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Jealousy! do you suppose I'm jealous of YOU? No, nor of ten + like you. But if you think I'll stand here and let you insult my wife in + her own house, you're mistaken. + </p> + <p> + HE [very uncomfortable with his back against the piano and Teddy + standing over him threateningly] How can I convince you? Be reasonable. + I tell you my relations with Mrs Bompas are relations of perfect + coldness—of indifference— + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [scornfully] Say it again: say it again. You're proud of it, + aren't you? Yah! You're not worth kicking. + </p> + <p> + Henry suddenly executes the feat known to pugilists as dipping, and + changes sides with Teddy, who it now between Henry and the piano. + </p> + <p> + HE. Look here: I'm not going to stand this. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Oh, you have some blood in your body after all! Good job! + </p> + <p> + HE. This is ridiculous. I assure you Mrs. Bompas is quite— + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. What is Mrs Bompas to you, I'd like to know. I'll tell you + what Mrs Bompas is. She's the smartest woman in the smartest set in + South Kensington, and the handsomest, and the cleverest, and the most + fetching to experienced men who know a good thing when they see it, + whatever she may be to conceited penny-a-lining puppies who think + nothing good enough for them. It's admitted by the best people; and not + to know it argues yourself unknown. Three of our first actor-managers + have offered her a hundred a week if she'd go on the stage when they + start a repertory theatre; and I think they know what they're about as + well as you. The only member of the present Cabinet that you might call + a handsome man has neglected the business of the country to dance with + her, though he don't belong to our set as a regular thing. One of the + first professional poets in Bedford Park wrote a sonnet to her, worth + all your amateur trash. At Ascot last season the eldest son of a duke + excused himself from calling on me on the ground that his feelings for + Mrs Bompas were not consistent with his duty to me as host; and it did + him honor and me too. But [with gathering fury] she isn't good enough + for you, it seems. You regard her with coldness, with indifference; and + you have the cool cheek to tell me so to my face. For two pins I'd + flatten your nose in to teach you manners. Introducing a fine woman to + you is casting pearls before swine [yelling at him] before SWINE! d'ye + hear? + </p> + <p> + HE [with a deplorable lack of polish] You call me a swine again and I'll + land you one on the chin that'll make your head sing for a week. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [exploding] What—! + </p> + <p> + He charges at Henry with bull-like fury. Henry places himself on guard + in the manner of a well taught boxer, and gets away smartly, but + unfortunately forgets the stool which is just behind him. He falls + backwards over it, unintentionally pushing it against the shins of + Bompas, who falls forward over it. Mrs Bompas, with a scream, rushes + into the room between the sprawling champions, and sits down on the + floor in order to get her right arm round her husband's neck. + </p> + <p> + SHE. You shan't, Teddy: you shan't. You will be killed: he is a + prizefighter. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [vengefully] I'll prizefight him. [He struggles vainly to + free himself from her embrace]. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Henry: don't let him fight you. Promise me that you won't. + </p> + <p> + HE [ruefully] I have got a most frightful bump on the back of my head. + [He tries to rise]. + </p> + <p> + SHE [reaching out her left hand to seize his coat tail, and pulling him + down again, whilst keeping fast hold of Teddy with the other hand] Not + until you have promised: not until you both have promised. [Teddy tries + to rise: she pulls him back again]. Teddy: you promise, don't you? Yes, + yes. Be good: you promise. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. I won't, unless he takes it back. + </p> + <p> + SHE. He will: he does. You take it back, Henry?—yes. + </p> + <p> + HE [savagely] Yes. I take it back. [She lets go his coat. He gets up. So + does Teddy]. I take it all back, all, without reserve. + </p> + <p> + SHE [on the carpet] Is nobody going to help me up? [They each take a + hand and pull her up]. Now won't you shake hands and be good? + </p> + <p> + HE [recklessly] I shall do nothing of the sort. I have steeped myself in + lies for your sake; and the only reward I get is a lump on the back of + my head the size of an apple. Now I will go back to the straight path. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Henry: for Heaven's sake— + </p> + <p> + HE. It's no use. Your husband is a fool and a brute— + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. What's that you say? + </p> + <p> + HE. I say you are a fool and a brute; and if you'll step outside with me + I'll say it again. [Teddy begins to take off his coat for combat]. Those + poems were written to your wife, every word of them, and to nobody else. + [The scowl clears away from Bompas's countenance. Radiant, he replaces + his coat]. I wrote them because I loved her. I thought her the most + beautiful woman in the world; and I told her so over and over again. I + adored her: do you hear? I told her that you were a sordid commercial + chump, utterly unworthy of her; and so you are. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [so gratified, he can hardly believe his ears] You don't + mean it! + </p> + <p> + HE. Yes, I do mean it, and a lot more too. I asked Mrs Bompas to walk + out of the house with me—to leave you—to get divorced from + you and marry me. I begged and implored her to do it this very night. It + was her refusal that ended everything between us. [Looking very + disparagingly at him] What she can see in you, goodness only knows! + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [beaming with remorse] My dear chap, why didn't you say so + before? I apologize. Come! Don't bear malice: shake hands. Make him + shake hands, Rory. + </p> + <p> + SHE. For my sake, Henry. After all, he's my husband. Forgive him. Take + his hand. [Henry, dazed, lets her take his hand and place it in + Teddy's]. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [shaking it heartily] You've got to own that none of your + literary heroines can touch my Rory. [He turns to her and claps her with + fond pride on the shoulder]. Eh, Rory? They can't resist you: none of + em. Never knew a man yet that could hold out three days. + </p> + <p> + SHE. Don't be foolish, Teddy. I hope you were not really hurt, Henry. + [She feels the back of his head. He flinches]. Oh, poor boy, what a + bump! I must get some vinegar and brown paper. [She goes to the bell and + rings]. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. Will you do me a great favor, Apjohn. I hardly like to ask; + but it would be a real kindness to us both. + </p> + <p> + HE. What can I do? + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND [taking up the poems] Well, may I get these printed? It + shall be done in the best style. The finest paper, sumptuous binding, + everything first class. They're beautiful poems. I should like to show + them about a bit. + </p> + <p> + SHE [running back from the bell, delighted with the idea, and coming + between them] Oh Henry, if you wouldn't mind! + </p> + <p> + HE. Oh, I don't mind. I am past minding anything. I have grown too fast + this evening. + </p> + <p> + SHE. How old are you, Henry? + </p> + <p> + HE. This morning I was eighteen. Now I am—confound it! I'm quoting + that beast of a play [he takes the Candida tickets out of his pocket and + tears them up viciously]. + </p> + <p> + HER HUSBAND. What shall we call the volume? To Aurora, or something like + that, eh? + </p> + <p> + HE. I should call it How He Lied to Her Husband. + </p> + <br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's How He Lied to Her Husband, by George Bernard Shaw + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW HE LIED TO HER HUSBAND *** + +***** This file should be named 3544-h.htm or 3544-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/5/4/3544/ + +Produced by Eve Sobol, and David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +http://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at +http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at http://pglaf.org + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit http://pglaf.org + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. +To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + + +</pre> + </body> +</html> |