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+Project Gutenberg's Great Mysteries and Little Plagues, by John Neal
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: Great Mysteries and Little Plagues
+
+Author: John Neal
+
+Release Date: January 7, 2011 [EBook #34865]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GREAT MYSTERIES AND LITTLE PLAGUES ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Edwards, Mary Meehan and the Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
+file was produced from scans of public domain material
+produced by Microsoft for their Live Search Books site.)
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+
+                           GREAT MYSTERIES
+
+                         AND LITTLE PLAGUES.
+
+                            BY JOHN NEAL.
+
+
+    BOSTON:
+    ROBERTS BROTHERS.
+    1870.
+
+    Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1869, by
+    ROBERTS BROTHERS,
+    In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the Dist. of
+    Massachusetts.
+
+    STEREOTYPED BY REGAN & LEADBEATER,
+    55 Water Street.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: CHILDREN--WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR?
+
+"I'll give oo a _kith_ if oo want one!"]
+
+
+
+
+PREFACE.
+
+
+I hate prefaces; and the older I grow, the more I hate them, and the
+more unwilling I am to transgress--in that way--with my eyes open.
+
+But something must be said, I suppose, if only by way of an
+advertisement, or warning.
+
+When I had finished what one of my daughters persists in calling my
+"NAUGHTY-BIOGRAPHY," and the other, "PERSONALITIES"--while my hair has
+grown visibly thinner, I will not say under what kind of domestic
+remonstrance from another quarter, and a very amiable, though witty
+somebody writes it "_Maundering_ Recollections"--I had an idea that, if
+I went further, I might be found "painting the lily, gilding refined
+gold," etc., etc., and so I pulled up--for the present.
+
+But this little book was already under way. I had promised it, and such
+promises I always keep--and for the best of reasons: I cannot afford to
+break them.
+
+When I turned out the original of "Children--What are they good for?"
+some forty years ago, or thereabouts, I had never met with, nor heard
+of, anything in that way. Children were overlooked. Their droppings were
+unheeded--out of the nursery. But now, and in fact very soon after my
+little essay appeared in the "Atlantic Souvenir," if I do not mistake,
+the papers and magazines, both abroad and at home, were continually
+brightened up with diamond-sparks and with Down-easterly or "Orient
+pearls, at random strung," which seemed to have been picked up in
+play-grounds, or adrift, or along the highway; and itemizers were seen
+dodging round among the little folks, wherever they were congregated, or
+following them as the Chinese follow a stranger, if they see him make
+wry faces.
+
+For amusement only, and to keep myself out of mischief--I hope I have
+succeeded--just after the fire, not having much to do beyond twirling my
+thumbs, and trying to whistle "I cares for nobody, and nobody cares for
+me," I began collecting such as fell in my way.
+
+My first idea was to call them "KINDLING-STUFF," or
+
+"OVEN-WOOD," as characteristic, if not of them, at least of the
+compiler; but finding the collection grew upon me, and myself growing
+serious, I adopted "PICKINGS AND STEALINGS," which, on the whole, I
+think still more characteristic, beside being both suggestive and
+descriptive.
+
+"GOODY GRACIOUS, A FAIRY STORY," I wrote for the purpose of showing--and
+_proving_--that fairy stories need not be crowded with extravagant
+impossibilities, to engage the attention of our little folks; and that
+if they are so contrived as to seem true, or at least possible, they
+need not be unwholesome. Am I wrong?
+
+And furthermore saith not, as Jacob Barker used to write, at the bottom
+of his letters,
+
+"Your respected friend,"
+
+J. N.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+
+I.--CHILDREN--WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR?
+
+II.--GOODY GRACIOUS! AND THE FORGET-ME-NOT.
+
+III.--PICKINGS AND STEALINGS.
+
+
+
+
+CHILDREN--WHAT ARE THEY GOOD FOR?
+
+
+The child is father of the man. Men are but children of a larger growth.
+How often do we meet with this array of words! Yet how insensible we are
+to the profound philosophy they enwrap. Sublime and astonishing truths!
+Uttered every day in our hearing, set before our eyes at every step of
+our journey through life, written over all the monuments of Earth, upon
+the pages and banners of all History, upon the temples and the pyramids,
+the palaces and the sepulchres of departed Nations, upon all the doings
+of the Past and the Present, as with unextinguishable fire, and sounding
+forever and ever in the unapproachable solitudes of the Future! Yet
+heard with indifference, read without emotion, and repeated from mouth
+to mouth, day after day and year after year, without a suspicion of
+their deep meaning, of their transcendent importance, of their
+imperishable beauty. And why? The language is too familiar, the apparent
+signification too simple and natural for the excited understandings of
+the multitude. There is no curtain to be lifted, no veil to be rent as
+with the hands of giants, no zone to be loosened, no mystery to be
+expounded afar off, as in the language of another world, nothing to be
+guessed at, or deciphered, nothing but what anybody might understand if
+he would; and, _therefore_, nothing to be remembered or cared for.
+
+But, in simple truth, a more sublime interrogation could not be
+propounded than that which may appear to be answered by the language
+referred to. _What are children?_ Step to the window with me. The
+street is full of them. Yonder a school is let loose; and here, just
+within reach of our observation, are two or three noisy little fellows;
+and there another party mustering for play. Some are whispering
+together, and plotting so loudly and so earnestly, as to attract
+everybody's attention; while others are holding themselves aloof, with
+their satchels gaping so as to betray a part of their plans for
+to-morrow afternoon, or laying their heads together in pairs, for a trip
+to the islands. Look at them, weigh the question I have put to you, and
+then answer it, as it deserves to be answered. _What are children?_ To
+which you reply at once, without any sort of hesitation perhaps,--"Just
+as the twig is bent the tree's inclined"; or, "Men are but children of a
+larger growth"; or, peradventure, "The child is father of the man." And
+then, perhaps, you leave me, perfectly satisfied with yourself and with
+your answer, having "plucked out the heart of the mystery," and uttered,
+without knowing it, a string of glorious truths,--pearls of great price.
+
+But, instead of answering you as another might, instead of saying, _Very
+true_, what if I were to call you back to the window with words like
+these: Do you know what you have said? do you know the meaning of the
+language you have employed? or, in other words, _do you know your own
+meaning_? what would you think of me? That I was playing the
+philosopher, perhaps, that I wanted to puzzle you with a childish
+question, that I thought I was thinking, or at best that I was a little
+out of my senses. Yet, if you were a man of understanding, I should have
+paid you a high compliment; a searcher after truth, I should have done
+you a great favor; a statesman, a lawgiver, a philanthropist, a
+patriot, or a father who deserved to be a father, I should have laid you
+under everlasting obligations, I should have opened a boundless treasury
+underneath your feet, I should have translated you instantly to a new
+world, carried you up into a high mountain, as it were, and set before
+you all the kingdoms of the earth, with all their revolutions and
+changes, all future history, the march of armies, the growth of
+conquerors, the waxing and the waning of empire, the changes of opinion,
+the apparition of thrones dashing against thrones, the overthrow of
+systems, and the revolution of ages.
+
+Among the children who are now playing _together_,--like birds among the
+blossoms of earth, haunting all the green shadowy places thereof, and
+rejoicing in the bright air; happy and beautiful creatures, and as
+changeable as happy, with eyes brimful of joy, and with hearts playing
+upon their little faces like sunshine upon clear waters; among those who
+are now idling together on that slope, or hunting butterflies together
+on the edge of that wood, a wilderness of roses,--you would see not only
+the gifted and the powerful, the wise and the eloquent, the ambitious
+and the renowned, the long-lived and the long-to-be-lamented of another
+age, but the wicked and the treacherous, the liar and the thief, the
+abandoned profligate and the faithless husband, the gambler and the
+drunkard, the robber, the burglar, the ravisher, the murderer, and the
+betrayer of his country. _The child is father of the man._
+
+Among them, and that other little troop just appearing, children with
+yet happier faces and pleasanter eyes, the blossoms of the future--the
+mothers of nations--you would see the founders of states and the
+destroyers of their country, the steadfast and the weak, the judge and
+the criminal, the murderer and the executioner, the exalted and the
+lowly, the unfaithful wife and the broken-hearted husband, the proud
+betrayer and his pale victim, the living and breathing portents and
+prodigies, the embodied virtues and vices, of another age and of another
+world, _and all playing together_! Men are but children of a larger
+growth.
+
+Pursuing the search, you would go forth among the little creatures, as
+among the types of another and a loftier language, the mystery whereof
+has been just revealed to you,--a language to become universal
+hereafter, types in which the autobiography of the Future was written
+ages and ages ago. Among the innocent and helpless creatures that are
+called _children_, you would see warriors, with their garments rolled in
+blood, the spectres of kings and princes, poets with golden harps and
+illuminated eyes, historians and painters, architects and sculptors,
+mechanics and merchants, preachers and lawyers; here a grave-digger
+flying his kite with his future customers, there a physician playing at
+marbles with his; here the predestined to an early and violent death for
+cowardice, fighting the battles of a whole neighborhood; there a
+Cromwell or a Caesar, a Napoleon or a Washington, hiding themselves for
+fear, enduring reproach or insult with patience; a Benjamin Franklin
+higgling for nuts or gingerbread, or the "Old Parr" of another
+generation sitting apart in the sunshine, and shivering at every breath
+of wind that reaches him. Yet we are told that "just as the twig is
+bent, the tree's inclined."
+
+Hereafter is made up of the shreds and patches of Heretofore. If "Men
+are but children of a larger growth," then _what are children_? Men of
+a smaller growth. And this happens to be the truth, not only in the
+world of imagination, but in the world of realities; not only among
+poets, but among lawyers. At law, children are men,--little children
+murderers. A boy of nine, and others of ten and eleven, have been put to
+death in England, two for murder, and a third for "cunningly and
+maliciously" firing two barns. Of the little murderers, one killed his
+playmate and the other his bedfellow. One hid the body, and the other
+himself. And therefore, said the judges, they knew they had done
+wrong,--they could distinguish between good and evil; and therefore they
+ordered both to be strangled. And they were strangled accordingly. As if
+a child who is old enough to know that he has done wrong, is therefore
+old enough to know that he deserves death!
+
+So with regard to children of the other sex. At law, babies are women,
+women babies. The same law which classes our mothers and our wives, our
+sisters and our daughters, with infants, lunatics, idiots, and "persons
+beyond sea," allows a child to be betrothed at seven, to be endowed of
+her future husband's estate at nine, and to agree or disagree to a
+previous marriage at twelve. And what is law in England is law here. We
+are still governed by the Court of King's Bench, the lawyers and the
+judges of Westminister Hall. Let no man say, therefore, that these are
+the dreams of poetry, the glittering shapes that wander about forever
+and ever among the vast chambers of a disordered imagination. They are
+not so. They are no phantasms,--they are realities, they are substantial
+existences, they "are known to the law."
+
+Such are children. Corrupted, they are fountains of bitterness for ages.
+Would you plant for the skies? Plant in the live soil of the warm and
+generous and youthful; pour all your treasures into the hearts of
+children. Would you look into the future as with the spirit of prophecy,
+and read as with a telescope the history and character of our country,
+and of other countries? You have but to watch the eyes of children at
+play.
+
+What children are, neighborhoods are. What neighborhoods are,
+communities are,--states, empires, worlds! They are the elements of
+Hereafter made visible.
+
+Even fathers and mothers look upon children with a strange
+misapprehension of their dignity. Even with the poets, they are only the
+flowers and blossoms, the dew-drops, or the playthings of earth. Yet "of
+such is the kingdom of heaven." The Kingdom of Heaven! with all its
+principalities and powers, its hierarchies, dominations, thrones! The
+Saviour understood them better; to Him their true dignity was revealed.
+Flowers! They are the flowers of the invisible world,--indestructible,
+self-perpetuating flowers, with each a multitude of angels and evil
+spirits underneath its leaves, toiling and wrestling for dominion over
+it! Blossoms! They are the blossoms of another world, whose fruitage is
+angels and archangels. Or dew-drops? They are dew-drops that have their
+source, not in the chambers of the earth, nor among the vapors of the
+sky, which the next breath of wind, or the next flash of sunshine may
+dry up forever, but among the everlasting fountains and inexhaustible
+reservoirs of mercy and love. Playthings! God!--if the little creatures
+would but appear to us in their true shape for a moment! We should fall
+upon our faces before them, or grow pale with consternation,--or fling
+them off with horror and loathing.
+
+What would be our feelings to see a fair child start up before us a
+maniac or a murderer, armed to the teeth? to find a nest of serpents on
+our pillow? a destroyer, or a traitor, a Harry the Eighth, or a Benedict
+Arnold asleep in our bosom? A Catherine or a Peter, a Bacon, a Galileo,
+or a Bentham, a Napoleon or a Voltaire, clambering up our knees after
+sugar-plums? Cuvier laboring to distinguish a horse-fly from a
+blue-bottle, or dissecting a spider with a rusty nail? La Place trying
+to multiply his own apples, or to subtract his playfellow's gingerbread?
+What should we say to find ourselves romping with Messalina, Swedenborg,
+and Madame de Stael? or playing bo-peep with Murat, Robespierre, and
+Charlotte Corday? or puss-puss in the corner with George Washington,
+Jonathan Wild, Shakspeare, Sappho, Jeremy Taylor, Mrs. Clark, Alfieri,
+and Harriet Wilson? Yet stranger things have happened. These were all
+children but the other day, and clambered about the knees, and rummaged
+in the pockets, and nestled in the laps of people no better than we are.
+But _if_ they had appeared in their true shape for a single moment,
+while playing together! What a scampering there would have been among
+the grown folks! How their fingers would have tingled!
+
+Now to me there is no study half so delightful as that of these little
+creatures, with hearts fresh from the gardens of the sky, in their first
+and fairest and most unintentional disclosures, while they are indeed a
+mystery, a fragrant, luminous, and beautiful mystery. And I have an idea
+that if we only had a name for the study, it might be found as
+attractive and as popular, and perhaps--though I would not go too
+far--_perhaps_ about as advantageous in the long run to the future
+fathers and mothers of mankind, as the study of shrubs and flowers, or
+that of birds and fishes. And why not? They are the cryptogamia of
+another world,--the infusoria of the skies.
+
+Then why not pursue the study for yourself? The subjects are always
+before you. No books are needed, no costly drawings, no lectures,
+neither transparencies nor illustrations. Your specimens are all about
+you. They come and go at your bidding. They are not to be hunted for,
+along the edge of a precipice, on the borders of the wilderness, in the
+desert, nor by the sea-shore. They abound, not in the uninhabited or
+unvisited place, but in your very dwelling-houses, about the steps of
+your doors, in every street of every village, in every green field, and
+every crowded thoroughfare. They flourish bravely in snow-storms, in the
+dust of the trampled highway, where drums are beating and colors
+flying--in the roar of cities. They love the sounding sea-breeze and the
+open air, and may always be found about the wharves, and rejoicing
+before the windows of toy-shops. They love the blaze of fireworks and
+the smell of gunpowder; and where that is, they are, to a dead
+certainty.
+
+You have but to go abroad for half an hour in pleasant weather, or to
+throw open your doors or windows on a Saturday afternoon, if you live
+anywhere in the neighborhood of a school-house, or a vacant lot, with
+here and there a patch of green, or a dry place in it, and steal behind
+the curtains, or draw the blinds, and let the fresh wind blow through
+and through the chambers of your heart for a few minutes, winnowing the
+dust and scattering the cobwebs that have gathered there while you were
+asleep, and lo! you will find it ringing with the voices of children at
+play, and all alive with the glimmering phantasmagoria of leap-frog,
+prison-base, or knock-up-and-catch.
+
+Let us try the experiment. There! I have opened the windows, I have
+drawn the blinds, and hark! already there is the sound of little voices
+afar off, like "sweet bells jangling." Nearer and nearer come they, and
+now we catch a glimpse of bright faces peeping round the corners, and
+there, by that empty inclosure, you see a general mustering and
+swarming, as of bees about a newly-discovered flower-garden. But the
+voices we now hear proceed from two little fellows who have withdrawn
+from the rest. One carries a large basket, and his eyes are directed to
+my window; he doesn't half like the blinds being drawn. The other
+follows him, with a tattered book under his arm, rapping the posts, one
+after the other, as he goes along. He is clearly on bad terms with
+himself. And now we can see their faces. Both are grave, and one rather
+pale, and trying to look ferocious. And hark! now we are able to
+distinguish their words. "Well, I ain't skeered o' you," says the
+foremost and the larger boy. "Nor I ain't skeered o' you," retorts the
+other; "but you needn't say you meant to lick me." And so I thought.
+Another, less acquainted with children, might not be able to see the
+connection; but I could,--it was worthy of Aristotle himself, or John
+Locke. "I _didn't_ say I meant to lick ye," rejoined the first, "I said
+I _could_ lick ye, and so I can." To which the other replies, glancing
+first at my window and then all up and down street, "I should like to
+see you try." Whereupon the larger boy begins to move away, half
+backwards, half sideways, muttering just loud enough to be heard, "Ah,
+you want to fight now, jest 'cause you're close by your own house." And
+here the dialogue finished, and the babies moved on, shaking their
+little heads at each other, and muttering all the way up street. Men are
+but children of a larger growth! Children but Empires in miniature.
+
+How beautiful and how strange are the first combinations of thought in a
+wayward or peevish child! And then, how alike we all are in our
+waywardness and peevishness! It is but a change of name, and one trifle
+is about as good as another to breed a quarrel, or to throw the wisest
+and the best of our grown babies off their balance. A bit of writing,
+the loss of a paper with pictures on it, a handful of glittering dust,
+or somebody making mouths at us, a word or a look, and we are stamping
+with rage, or miserable for half a day. A cloud coming up when the
+horses are at the door, a little bad weather, a spot upon our new
+clothes, or a lump of sugar not quite so large as another's; and what
+children we are! How perfectly wretched!
+
+I once knew a little boy, who, after sitting awhile as if lost in
+thought, turned to his mother, and said: "Mother! what did you marry my
+father for? Why didn't you wait till I grew up, and then marry me?"
+Rather a strange question, to be sure, and the little fellow was but
+just old enough to put his words together. But compare it with many a
+question put by the sages of earth. Consider it side by side with the
+ponderings and the misgivings, the inquisitiveness and the apprehensions
+of a great Philosopher, when he interrogates the Builder of the
+Universe, and sets himself in array, face to face, with Jehovah.
+
+Nay, I have heard a very intelligent person of mature age betray a
+confusion of thought altogether as laughable as that of the poor boy.
+She had been to see a captious old lady whom her father, in his youth,
+had once intended to marry. "And how did you like her?" said I. "Not at
+all," she replied; "oh, you don't know how glad I am that father did not
+marry her; I never should have liked her, I am sure." As if, marry whom
+he might, she must have been born, _she_ herself, with precisely the
+same preferences, prejudices and opinions!
+
+"Oh, mother!" said little Mary, aged two years and a half at the time,
+looking up as she heard a noise, and blushing from head to foot, "_I
+hear a bad smell_,--'taint me nor brother. It was an old man in the next
+house;" hemming loudly and suddenly, with a cough. Modesty is one
+thing,--squeamishness about children another; and this is really too
+good to be lost.
+
+I remember a little boy who was a lexicographer from his birth, a
+language-master and a philosopher. From the hour he was able to ask for
+a piece of bread and butter, he never hesitated for a word, not he! If
+one wouldn't serve, another would, with a little twisting and turning.
+He assured me one day, when I was holding him by the hand rather tighter
+than he wished (he was but just able to speak at the time), that I
+should _choke_ his hand; at another, he came to me all out of breath, to
+announce that a man was below _shaving_ the wall. Upon due inquiry, it
+turned out that he was only _whitewashing_. But how should he know the
+difference between whitewash and lather, a big brush and a little one?
+Show me, if you can, a prettier example of synthesis or generalization,
+or a more beautiful adaptation of old words to new purposes. I have
+heard another complain of a school-fellow for _winking_ at him _with
+his lip_; and he took the affront very much to heart, I assure you, and
+would not be pacified till the matter was cleared up.
+
+Another, now at my elbow, hardly five, has just been prattling about the
+_handle_ of a pin, meaning the _head_; to him _shavings_ were
+_board-ravellings_, above a twelvemonth ago, and I never shall forget
+his earnestness about what he called the _necklace_ of the gate,--a
+heavy iron chain with a large weight swinging to it,--which a
+wood-sawyer had forgotten to replace after finishing his work.
+
+It is but yesterday that a little boy, being asked by an elder sister in
+my presence what a _widow_ was--he had been talking about a
+widow--replied, _A poor woman that goes out a-washing_. What better
+definition would you have? At home or abroad, is not the poor widow
+always a-washing,--now the floors of a wealthier neighbor, and the
+clothes of somebody who happens not to be a widow,--and now with her own
+tears the face of her little baby, that lies half asleep and half
+sobbing in her lap? Other children talk about the _bones_ in
+peaches,--osteologists are they; and others, when they have the
+toothache, aver that it _burns_ them. Of such is the empire of poetry. I
+have heard another give a public challenge in these words to every child
+that came near, as she sat upon the door-step with a pile of
+tamarind-stones, nutshells, and pebbles lying before her: "Ah! I've got
+_many-er_ than you!" That child was a better grammarian than Lindley
+Murray; and her wealth, in what was it unlike the hoarded and useless
+wealth of millions?
+
+Not long ago, while passing through a narrow, unfrequented street, my
+attention was attracted by two little girls at play together: one a
+perfect tomboy, with large laughing eyes, and a prodigious quantity of
+hair; the other a little timid creature, altogether too shy to look up
+as I passed. The romp was balancing her body over the gate, and the
+little prude was looking at her. On the opposite side of the way were
+two smart-looking boys, whom I did not observe till I heard a sweet,
+clear voice at my elbow saying--almost singing, indeed--"I'll give oo a
+_kith_ if oo want one!" I stopped and heard the offer repeated by the
+shy looking puss, while the romp stared at her with her mouth wide open,
+and the boys cleared out with a laugh, being too shame-faced to profit
+by the offer. Verily, verily, men _are_ but children of a larger
+growth--_and women too_.
+
+There was the language of truth, of innocence, of unadulterated nature!
+There are no mealy-mouthed human creatures among the pure. But lo! that
+child is going forth into the world, leaving behind her the green and
+beautiful places, haunted with wild flowers, where everything appeared
+in the language of truth; and after a little time, with far less purity,
+she may blush and tremble at every thought of being kissed, with or
+without her leave. And the poor boys,--anon they are to be the pursuers,
+and pray and beseech, where, but for a newly-acquired and counterfeit
+nature, they might loiter along by the wayside, and be sure of a call
+from the rosy lips and bright eyes that hovered about their path. Poor
+boys!
+
+But children are wonderful for their courage, their patience, and their
+fortitude. I have known a little boy completely worn out by watching and
+suffering, tear off the bandages at last, and, looking up into the face
+of a woman who watched over him, say to her with a sweet
+smile,--"Georgee muss die, Chamber (her name was Chambers), _Georgee
+muss die--Georgee want to die_." And he did die, with that very smile
+upon his mouth.
+
+Not many years ago, another was caught in a mill: they stopped the
+machinery, and took the wheel to pieces; but it was an hour and a half
+before they could free her entirely. During this time she threw her arms
+about her father's neck, and kissing him, whispered: "_Am I dead,
+papa?_" She died within two hours after she was liberated. One might
+almost expect to see winglets of purple and gold, budding before death,
+from between the shoulders of such a child.
+
+The _reasoning_ of the little creatures, too, is always delightful; and
+if you are good-natured enough to follow them through their own little
+demonstrations, without insisting upon the language of a syllogism,
+always _conclusive_. Take two or three examples in proof: A child about
+three years of age, unperceived by its mother, followed her down cellar,
+and, when its mother returned, was left there. By-and-by the little
+thing was missed: inquiries were made in every quarter; the whole
+neighborhood was alarmed; the well searched, the hen-house, the barn,
+the very pigsty; but all in vain. At last, somebody had occasion to go
+into the cellar, and there, upon the bottom step of the stairs, the
+little creature was found, sitting by herself, as still as death, and
+purple with cold. Half frantic with joy, the mother snatched her up,
+and, running to the fire with her, asked her why she did not cry. "_I
+toudn't, ma_" was the reply,--"I toudn't, ma,--_it war tho dark_!" After
+all, now, was not that a capital reason?--was it not the truth? How
+many are there who cannot, or will not cry, even to their Father above,
+because _it is so dark_. Another child of about the same age used to lie
+awake and chatter by the hour, after she went to bed. Out of all
+patience with her one night, her bedfellow said to her,--
+
+"Will you hold your tongue, Lucinda, and let me go to sleep?"
+
+"No, I _tan't_."
+
+"You can't,--why not, pray?"
+
+"Cause it _mates my tomach ache, Ant Rachel_!"
+
+And even that child--why do you laugh at her?--didn't she tell the
+truth? and was not that a capital reason? How many grown people are
+there who _cannot hold their tongues_--and, if the truth were told,
+because _it makes their stomach ache_! or for some other reason not half
+so much to the purpose.
+
+They are decided politicians, too. A friend of mine has a boy just able
+to speak.
+
+"Houyah for Jackson!" said he one day, before his father.
+
+"Why, Charles! why do you hurra for Jackson--I am not a Jackson man."
+
+"Don't tare 'foo aint--I ar!" was the reply.
+
+A _leader_, of course, for the next generation--of those who are to
+think for themselves.
+
+Their childish cunning, too, is exquisite. I remember seeing a little
+boy about four years of age bite his eldest sister's finger in play so
+as to leave a mark, for which he was chidden by his mother, whereupon he
+stole away to his sister and put his finger into her mouth, and told her
+to _bite_: she refused, he insisted; after a good deal of persuasion,
+she yielded. "Harder! harder!" whispered he.
+
+At last a mark appeared--a little _dent_. (You understand French, I
+hope.)
+
+"_Now!_" said he, pulling her toward his mother. "_Now_"--his large eyes
+sparkling with triumph, and holding up his plump, rosy little finger,
+and making all sorts of faces--"_Now! tum to mother oosef!_"
+
+Was there ever a better illustration of the Thistlewood Plot--of the
+Gunpowder Plot--or of that policy which, here as well as there, makes
+offences profitable to the informer? That boy was but another Vidooq; or
+another First Consul of the French Empire.
+
+And have you never, when riding by in a stage-coach, seen a little
+fellow at the window or the door of a house in the country crying as if
+his very heart would break? Did not he always stop till you got by,--and
+then didn't he always begin again? with the same look, the same voice,
+and the same outcry, refusing to be comforted? These are the fellows
+for office--he only wanted an augmentation of salary; that was all--and
+I dare say he got it.
+
+"Ah, ah, hourra! hourra! here's a fellow's birthday!" cried a boy in my
+hearing once. A number had got together to play ball; but one of them
+having found a birthday, and not only the birthday, but the very boy it
+belonged to, they all gathered about him, as if they had never witnessed
+a conjunction of the sort before. The very fellows for a committee of
+inquiry!--into the affairs of a national bank, too, if you please.
+
+Never shall I forget another incident which occurred in my
+presence, between two other boys. One was trying to jump over a
+wheel-barrow--another was going by; he stopped, and, after considering a
+moment, spoke:
+
+"I'll tell you what you can't do," said he.
+
+"Well, what is it?"
+
+"You can't jump down your own throat."
+
+"Well, _you_ can't."
+
+"_Can't I though!_"
+
+The simplicity of "Well, you can't," and the roguishness of "Can't I
+though!" tickled me prodigiously. They reminded me of sparring I had
+seen elsewhere--I should not like to say where--having a great respect
+for the Temples of Justice and the Halls of Legislation.
+
+"I say '_tis_ white-oak."
+
+"I say it's red-oak."
+
+"Well, I say it's white-oak."
+
+"I tell ye 'taint white-oak."
+
+Here they had joined issue for the first time.
+
+"I say 'tis."
+
+"I say 'taint."
+
+"I'll bet ye ten thousand dollars of it."
+
+"Well, I'll bet you ten thousand dollars!"
+
+Such were the very words of a conversation I have just heard between two
+children, the elder about six, the other about five. Were not these
+miniature men? Stock-brokers and Theologians? or only _Land
+Speculators_?
+
+"Well, my lad, you've been to meeting, hey?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"And who preached for you?"
+
+"Mr. P----."
+
+"Ah! and what did he say?"
+
+"I can't remember sir, he put me out so."
+
+"Put you out?"
+
+"Yes, sir--he kept lookin' at my new clothes all meetin' time."
+
+That child must have been a _close_ observer. Will anybody tell me that
+he did not know what people go to meeting for?
+
+It was but yesterday that I passed a fat little girl with large hazel
+eyes, sitting by herself in a gateway, with her feet sticking straight
+out into the street. She was holding a book in one hand, and with a bit
+of stick in the other, was pointing to the letters.
+
+"What's that?" cried she, in a sweet chirping voice; "_hey!_ Look on!
+What's that, I say?--F--No--o--o--oh!" shaking her little head with the
+air of a school-mistress, who has made up her mind not to be trifled
+with.
+
+It reminded me of another little girl somewhat older, who used to sit
+and play underneath my windows, and look down into the long green grass
+at her feet, and shake her head, and laugh and talk by the hour, as if
+she had a baby there, to the infinite amusement of all the neighborhood.
+That girl should have betaken herself to the stage. She was the very
+spirit of what may be called the familiar drama.
+
+Talk as we may about children, their notions are sometimes both
+affecting and sublime; and their adventures more extraordinary than were
+the strangest of Captain Cook's,--more perilous than that of him who
+discovered America. I have known a child, not three years of age, and
+hardly tall enough to reach the round of a ladder, clamber up the side
+and along the roof, and seat himself on the ridge-pole of a two-story
+house, before they discovered him.
+
+Very odd things occur to all parents, if they would but observe them,
+and treasure them--in the flowering of their children's hearts.
+
+"When I am dead, sister Mary, I'll come back to see you, and you must
+save all the crumbs and feed me--won't ye, sister Mary?" said a little
+boy to his sister.
+
+Upon full inquiry, I found that he had associated the idea of little
+angels, that would fly about, with the pigeons belonging to a neighbor,
+which he had been accustomed to toll from the perch into the back-yard,
+with little crumbs of bread, saved at the table. On another occasion, he
+laid down his knife and fork, and looking up with the most perfect
+seriousness and apparent good faith, said,--
+
+"Father, I mustn't eat any more fat meat."
+
+"Why not, my boy?"
+
+"God told me I must not."
+
+"God!--when?"
+
+"Last night, father."
+
+Of course the child had been dreaming--so I urged the inquiry a little
+further:
+
+"Did you see God?"
+
+"Yes, father."
+
+"And how did He look?"
+
+"Oh, He looked like a--like a--" thoughtfully, and casting about for a
+comparison--and then all at once he brightened up and said,--
+
+"Like a woodchuck, father!"
+
+For a moment I was thunder-struck--where could he have got such an idea?
+He had never seen a woodchuck in his life. Instead of laughing at the
+absurdity of the notion, however, I treated the matter very seriously,
+and after a while found that he had been on the watch at the window
+every day for nearly a month, to see a woodchuck which had escaped from
+a neighbor, and burrowed under our wood-house, and used to come out
+after nightfall to feed. The little fellow was perfectly honest--he had
+no idea of untruth or irreverence; others had seen the woodchuck, and he
+had not, and nothing occurred to him half so strange or mysterious for a
+comparison. It would not do to compare God with anything he had seen,
+and a woodchuck was the only thing he had not seen which corresponded at
+all with his notions of the Invisible.
+
+But children have other characters. At times they are creatures to be
+afraid of. Every case I give, is a fact within my own observation. There
+are children, and I have had to do with them, whose very eyes were
+terrible: children who, after years of watchful and anxious discipline,
+were as indomitable as the young of the wild beast dropped in the
+wilderness; crafty, and treacherous, and cruel. And others I have known,
+who, if they live, _must_ have dominion over the multitude; being
+evidently of them that, from the foundations of the world, have been
+always thundering at the gates of Power.
+
+There sits a little girl with raisins in her lap. She had enough to
+spare a few minutes ago, but now she has given them all away, handful
+by handful, to a much older and more crafty child. She has not another
+left; and as she sits by him, and looks him up in the face, and asks him
+for one now and then _so_ innocently, he keeps cramming them into his
+mouth, and occasionally doles one out to her with such a look! so
+strangely made up of reluctance and self-gratulation. And she, poor
+thing, whenever she gets one, affects to enjoy it prodigiously, shaking
+her head, and making a noise with her mouth as if it were crammed full.
+Just as the twig is bent, etc., etc.
+
+And it is but the other day--only a week ago--I had an opportunity of
+seeing a similar case. A girl of eighteen months was overhauling her
+play-basket before a boy of seven. She was ready enough to show all her
+toys, but whatever he took into his hand, she would instantly reach
+after. Before two minutes were over, I found him playing the man of
+business, pretending to like what he did not, and to dislike what he
+most coveted. There were heaps of playthings strewed about over the
+floor. Among them were the remains of a little dog which had been sadly
+pulled to pieces, but which the boy took a decided fancy to,
+nevertheless. He kept his eye upon them, and after taking possession
+leaned over toward the little girl, and shook his head, and spoke in
+that peculiarly soothing voice, and with that coaxing manner, which are
+common to horse-dealers, and which children so well know how to
+counterfeit when they have a worthy object in view.
+
+"Oh, the pretty teapot! Oh my! Mary want it," said he, turning it over
+and over, and carefully displaying the crooked nose, the warped handle,
+and the useless bottom, while he secured the dog.
+
+That over, he tried his hand at a little Indian basket, talking all the
+time as fast as his tongue could run, in favor of the toys he had no
+relish for. A diplomatist in embryo, a chess-player, a merchant, a
+lawyer? What more can the best of them do? What more have they ever
+done?
+
+I saw three children throwing sticks at a cow. She grew tired of her
+share in the game at last, and, holding down her head and shaking it,
+demanded a new deal. They cut and run. After getting to a place of
+comparative security, they stopped, and holding by the top of a
+board-fence, over which they had clambered, began to reconnoitre.
+Meanwhile another troop of children hove in sight, and, arming
+themselves with brick-bats, began to approach the same cow; whereupon
+two of the others called out from the fence,--
+
+"You Joe! you better mind! that's our cow!"
+
+The plea was admitted without a demurrer, and the cow was left to be
+tormented by the legal owners. Hadn't these boys the law on their side?
+
+A youth once lived with me who owned a little dog. One day I caught the
+dog worrying what I supposed to be a rat, and the boy standing over him
+and encouraging him. It proved to be a toad; the poor creature escaped
+during my interference. Before a month had gone over, the dog showed
+symptoms of hydrophobia, and I shot him. Not long after this I found the
+boy at a pump trying to keep a tub full, which appeared to have no
+bottom. I inquired what he was doing, and it turned out that he was
+trying to drown a _frog_. I asked the reason: Because a _toad_ had
+poisoned the poor little dog.
+
+Here was a process of ratiocination worthy of any autocrat that ever
+breathed. Because A suffered soon after worrying B, therefore C shall be
+pumped to death. Precisely the case of Poland.
+
+I know another little boy who once lost a favorite dog. About a week
+afterward the dog reappeared, and the boy was the happiest creature
+alive. But something happened a little out of the way, which caused
+further inquiry, when it turned out that the new dog was not the old
+one, though astonishingly like. The only difference I could perceive was
+a white spot under the neck. Well, what does our boy do? receive the
+stranger with thankfulness, and adopt him with joy, for his
+extraordinary resemblance to a lost favorite? No, indeed; but he gives
+him a terrible thumping, and turns him neck-and-heels out of doors on a
+cold, rainy night! As if the poor dog had been guilty of personating
+another! How perfectly of a piece with the behavior of grown people who
+have cheated themselves, and found it out. Woe to the innocent and the
+helpless who lie in their path! or sleep in their bosom, or inhabit
+among their household gods!
+
+But children are not merely unjust, and cruel, and treacherous, even as
+men are. Like men, they are murderers, mischief-makers, devils, at
+times. I knew two boys, the older not more than four, who caught a hen,
+and, having pulled out her eyes with crooked pins, they let her go;
+after which, on seeing her stagger and tumble about, and perhaps afraid
+of discovery, they determined to cut off her head. One was to hold her,
+and the other to perform the operation; but for a long while they could
+not agree upon their respective shares in the performance. At last they
+hit upon a precious expedient. They laid her upon the steps, put a board
+over her body, upon which one of the two sat, while the other sawed off
+her head with a dull case-knife. Parents! Fathers! Mothers! What child
+of four years of age was ever capable of such an act, without a long
+course of preparation? for neglect is preparation. Both were murderers,
+and their parents were their teachers. If "the child is father of the
+man," what is to become of such children? If it be true that "just as
+the twig is bent the tree's inclined," how much have you to answer for?
+If "men are but children of a larger growth," watch your children
+forever, by day and by night! pray for them forever, by night and by
+day! and not as children, but as _Men_ of a smaller growth,--as men
+with most of the evil passions, and with all the evil propensities, that
+go to make man terrible to his fellow-men, his countenance hateful, his
+approach a fiery pestilence, and his early death a blessing, even to his
+father and mother!
+
+
+
+
+GOODY GRACIOUS!
+
+AND THE
+
+FORGET-ME-NOT.
+
+
+Once there was a little bit of a thing,--not more than so high,--and her
+name was Ruth Page; but they called her Teenty-Tawnty, for she was the
+daintiest little creature you ever saw, with the smoothest hair and the
+brightest face; and then she was always playing about, and always happy:
+and so the people that lived in that part of the country, when they
+heard her laughing and singing all by herself at peep of day, like
+little birds after a shower, and saw her running about in the edge of
+the wood after tulips and butterflies, or tumbling head-over-heels in
+the long rich grass by the river side, with her little pet lamb or her
+two white pigeons always under her feet, or listening to the wild bees
+in the apple-blossoms, with her sweet mouth "all in a tremble," and her
+happy eyes brimful of sunshine,--they used to say that she was no child
+at all, or no child of earth, but a Fairy-gift, and that she must have
+been dropped into her mother's lap, like a handful of flowers, when she
+was half asleep; and so they wouldn't call her Ruth Page,--no indeed,
+that they wouldn't!--but they called her little Teenty-Tawnty, or the
+little Fairy; and they used to bring her Fairy Tales to read, till she
+couldn't bear to read anything else, and wanted to be a Fairy herself.
+
+Well, and so one day, when she was out in the sweet-smelling woods, all
+alone by herself, singing, "Where are you going, my pretty maid, my
+pretty maid?" and watching the gold-jackets, and the blue dragon-flies,
+and the sweet pond-lilies, and the bright-eyed glossy eels, and the
+little crimson-spotted fish, as they "coiled and swam," and darted
+hither and thither, like "flashes of golden fire," and then huddled
+together, all of a sudden, just underneath the green turf where she sat,
+as if they saw something, and were half frightened to death, and were
+trying to hide in the shadow; well and so--as she sat there, with her
+little naked feet hanging over and almost touching the water, singing to
+herself, "My face is my fortune, sir, she said! sir, she said!" and
+looking down into a deep sunshiny spot, and holding the soft smooth hair
+away from her face with both hands, and trying to count the dear little
+fish before they got over their fright, all at once she began to think
+of the Water-Fairies, and how cool and pleasant it must be to live in
+these deep sunshiny hollows, with green turf all about you, the
+blossoming trees and the blue skies overhead, the bright gravel
+underneath your feet, like powdered stars, and thousands of beautiful
+fish for playfellows! all spotted with gold and crimson, or winged with
+rose-leaves, and striped with faint purple and burnished silver, like
+the shells and flowers of the deep sea, where the moonlight buds and
+blossoms forever and ever; and then she thought if she could only just
+reach over, and dip one of her little fat rosy feet into the smooth
+shining water,--just once--only once,--it would be _so_ pleasant! and
+she should be _so_ happy! and then, if she could but manage to scare the
+fishes a little--a very little--that would be such glorious fun,
+too,--wouldn't it, you?
+
+Well and so--she kept stooping and stooping, and stretching and
+stretching, and singing to herself all the while, "Sir, she said! sir,
+she said! I'm going a-milking, sir, she said!" till just as she was
+ready to tumble in, head first, something jumped out of the bushes
+behind her, almost touching her as it passed, and went plump into the
+deepest part of the pool! saying, "_Once! once!_" with a booming sound,
+like the tolling of a great bell under water, and afar off.
+
+"Goody gracious! what's that?" screamed little Ruth Page; and then, the
+very next moment, she began to laugh and jump and clap her hands, to see
+what a scampering there was among the poor silly fish, and all for
+nothing! said she; for out came a great good-natured bull-frog, with an
+eye like a bird, and a big bell-mouth, and a back all frosted over with
+precious stones, and dripping with sunshine; and there he sat looking
+at her awhile, as if he wanted to frighten her away; and then he opened
+his great lubberly mouth at her, and bellowed out, "_Once! once!_" and
+vanished.
+
+"Luddy tuddy! who cares for you?" said little Ruth; and so, having got
+over her fright, she began to creep to the edge of the bank once more,
+and look down into the deep water, to see what had become of the little
+fish that were so plentiful there, and so happy but a few minutes
+before. But they were all gone, and the water was as still as death; and
+while she sat looking into it, and waiting for them to come back, and
+wondering why they should be so frightened at nothing but a bull-frog,
+which they must have seen a thousand times, the poor little simpletons!
+and thinking she should like to catch one of the smallest and carry it
+home to her little baby-brother, all at once a soft shadow fell upon
+the water, and the scented wind blew her smooth hair all into her eyes,
+and as she put up both hands in a hurry to pull it away, she heard
+something like a whisper close to her ear, saying, "_Twice! twice!_" and
+just then the trailing branch of a tree swept over the turf, and filled
+the whole air with a storm of blossoms, and she heard the same low
+whisper repeated close at her ear, saying, "_Twice! twice!_" and then
+she happened to look down into the water,--and what do you think she saw
+there?
+
+"Goody gracious, mamma! is that you?" said poor little Ruth; and up she
+jumped, screaming louder than ever, and looking all about her, and
+calling "Mamma, mamma! I see you, mamma! you needn't hide, mamma!" But
+no mamma was to be found.
+
+"Well, if that isn't the strangest thing!" said little Ruth, at last,
+after listening a few minutes, on looking all round everywhere, and up
+into the trees, and away off down the river-path, and then toward the
+house. "If I didn't think I saw my dear good mamma's face in the water,
+as plain as day, and if I didn't hear something whisper in my ear and
+say, '_Twice! twice!_'"--and then she stopped, and held her breath, and
+listened again--"If I didn't hear it as plain as I ever heard anything
+in my life, then my name isn't Ruth Page, that's all, nor Teenty-Tawnty
+neither!" And then she stopped, and began to feel very unhappy and
+sorrowful; for she remembered how her mother had cautioned her never to
+go near the river, nor into the woods alone, and how she had promised
+her mother many and many a time never to do so, never, never! And then
+the tears came into her eyes, and she began to wish herself away from
+the haunted spot, where she could kneel down and say her prayers; and
+then she looked up to the sky, and then down into the still water, and
+then she thought she would just go and take one more peep--only
+one--just to see if the dear little fishes had got over their fright,
+and then she would run home to her mother, and tell her how forgetful
+she had been, and how naughty, and ask her to give her something that
+would make her remember her promises. Poor thing! little did she know
+how deep the water was, nor how wonderfully she had escaped! once, once!
+twice, twice! and still she ventured a third time.
+
+Well and so--don't you think, she crept along--crept along--to the very
+edge of the green, slippery turf, on her hands and knees, half trembling
+with fear, and half laughing to think of that droll-looking fat fellow,
+with the big bell-mouth, and the yellow breeches, and the grass-green
+military jacket, turned up with buff and embroidered with gems, and the
+bright golden eye that had so frightened her before, and wondering in
+her little heart if he would show himself again; and singing all the
+while, as she crept nearer and nearer, "Nobody asked you, sir, she said!
+sir, she said! nobody asked you, sir, she said!" till at last she had
+got near enough to look over, and see the little fishes there tumbling
+about by dozens, and playing bo-peep among the flowers that grew
+underneath the bank, and multiplied by thousands in the clear water,
+when, all at once, she felt the turf giving way, and she put out her
+arms and screamed for her mother. Goody gracious! how she did scream!
+and then something answered from the flowing waters underneath, and from
+the flowering trees overhead, with a mournful sweet sound, like wailing
+afar off, "_Thrice! thrice!_" and the flashing waters swelled up,
+saying, "_Thrice! thrice!_" and the flowering branch of the tree swept
+over the turf, and the sound was the same, "_Thrice! thrice!_" and in
+she went headlong, into the deepest part of the pool, screaming with
+terror, and calling on her mother to the last: poor mother!
+
+Well and so--when she came to herself, where do you think she was? Why,
+she was lying out in the warm summer air, on a green bank, all tufted
+with cowslips and violets and clover-blossoms, with a plenty of
+strawberries underneath her feet, and the bluest water you ever saw all
+round her, murmuring like the rose-lipped sea-shells; and the air was
+full of singing-birds, and there was a little old woman looking at her,
+with the funniest cap, and a withered face not bigger than you may see
+when you look at the baby through the big end of a spyglass: the cap
+was a morning-glory, and it was tied underneath the chin with bleached
+cobweb, and the streamers and bows were just like the colors you see in
+a soap-bubble.
+
+"Goody gracious! where am I now?" said little Ruth.
+
+"Yes, my dear, that's my name," said the little old woman, dropping a
+low courtesy, and then spinning round two or three times, and squatting
+down suddenly, so as to make what you call a cheese.
+
+"Why, you don't mean to say that's your real name," whispered little
+Ruth.
+
+"To be sure it is! just as much as--and pray, my little creature, what's
+your name?"
+
+"Mine! oh my name is Ruth Page, _only_ Ruth Page," and up she jumped,
+and spun round among the strawberries and flowers, and tried to make a
+courtesy like the little old woman, and then they both burst out
+a-laughing together.
+
+"Well," said Goody Gracious, "you're a nice, good-natured, funny little
+thing, I'll say that for you, as ever I happened to meet with; but
+haven't you another and a prettier name, hey?"
+
+"Why, sometimes they call me Little Teenty-Tawnty," said Ruth.
+
+"Fiddle-de-dee, I don't like that name any better than the other: we
+must give you a new name," said the little old woman; "but first tell
+me"--and she grew very serious, and her little sharp eyes changed
+color--"first tell me how you happened to be here, in the very heart of
+Fairy-land, with nobody to take care of you, and not so much as a wasp
+or a bumble-bee to watch over you when you are asleep."
+
+"Indeed, and indeed, ma'am, I don't know," said little Ruth; "all I do
+know is, that I have been very naughty, and that I am drowned, and that
+I shall never see my poor dear mamma any more!" And then she up and told
+the whole story to the little old woman, crying bitterly all the while.
+
+"Don't take on so, my little dear, don't, don't!" said Goody Gracious;
+and out she whipped what appeared to Ruth nothing but a rumpled leaf of
+the tiger-lily, and wiped her eyes with it. "Be a good child, and, after
+a trial of three days in Fairy-land, if you want to go back to your
+mother you shall go, and you may carry with you a token to her that you
+have told the truth."
+
+"Oh, bless your little dear old-fashioned face," cried Ruth; "oh, bless
+you, bless you! only give me a token that will make me always remember
+what I have promised my poor dear mother, and I shall be so happy, and I
+won't ask for anything else."
+
+"What, neither for humming-birds, nor gold-fish, nor butterflies, nor
+diamonds, nor pearls, nor anything you have been wishing for so long,
+ever since you were able to read about Fairy-land?"
+
+"No, ma'am; just give me a ring of wheat-straw, or a brooch from the
+ruby-beetle, if you like, and I shall be satisfied."
+
+"Be it so; but, before I change you to a fairy, you must make choice of
+what you want to see in Fairy-land for three days running; for, at the
+end of that time, I shall change you back again, so that if you are of
+the same mind then, you may go back to your mother, and, if not, you
+will stay with us forever and ever."
+
+"Forever and ever?" said Ruth, and she trembled; "please ma'am, I should
+like to go now, if it's all the same to you."
+
+"No! but take this flower;" and, as she spoke, she stooped down, and
+pulled up a forget-me-not by the roots, and breathed upon it, and it
+blossomed all over. "Take this root," said she, "and plant it somewhere,
+and tend it well, and at any time after three days, if you get tired of
+being here, all you have to do will be just to pull it up out of the
+earth, and wish yourself at home, and you will find yourself there in a
+moment, in your own little bed."
+
+"Goody gracious! you don't say so!"
+
+"But I do say so."
+
+"I declare, I've a good mind to try!"
+
+"What, pull it up before you have planted it? No, no, my dear. It must
+be left out threescore and twelve hours, and be watered with the dews
+and the starlight of the South Sea, where you are now, thousands and
+thousands of miles from your own dear country; but there is one thing I
+would have you know before you plant the flower."
+
+"If you please, ma'am," said little Ruth.
+
+"It is given to you, my dear, to help you correct your faults; you mean
+to do right, and you try pretty hard, but you are _so_ forgetful, you
+say."
+
+"Yes, ma'am."
+
+"Well, now, but remember--just so long as you tend this plant with care,
+and water it every day at the same hour,--every day, mind you, and at
+the same hour,--you will be growing better."
+
+Ruth was overjoyed.
+
+"But," continued the fairy, "if you neglect it for a single day, it will
+begin to droop and wither, the leaves will change, and some of the
+blossoms will drop off, and your mother will begin to feel unhappy and
+low-spirited."
+
+"Oh, yes; but I never shall, ma'am--never, _never_!"
+
+"Don't be too sure; and if you neglect it for two whole days running,
+all the flowers will drop off but one, and your mother will take to her
+bed, and nobody but you will know what ails her."
+
+Poor Ruth began to tremble, and the tears came in her eyes.
+
+"But," continued the fairy, "_but_ if you should neglect it for three
+days running, my poor child--but for three days running--the last flower
+will drop off, and your mother will die of a broken heart."
+
+"Oh, mercy, mercy!" cried poor little Ruth. "Oh, take it! take it! I
+wouldn't have it for the world!" and she flung it down upon the loose
+earth, and shook her little fingers, just as if something had stung her.
+
+"It is too late now. See, my dear, it has already taken root, and now
+there is no help for it. Remember! your mother's health, happiness and
+life depend upon that flower. Watch it well! And now, daughter of
+earth," and, as she spoke, she stooped, and pulled up a whole handful of
+violets, dripping with summer rain, and repeating the words, "Daughter
+of earth, away! Rosebud, appear!" shook the moisture all over her; and
+instantly the dear child found herself afloat in the air, with pinions
+of purple gauze, bedropped with gold, with millions of little fairies
+all about her, swarming like butterflies and blossoms after a pleasant
+rain, and welcoming their sister Rosebud to Fairy-land.
+
+"Well," thought Rosebud,--we must call her Rosebud now,--"well, if this
+being a little fairy isn't one of the pleasantest things!" and then she
+recollected that she had only three days to stay there and see the
+sights, and she looked round her to ask if there was anybody near to
+help her, and take charge of her, and tell her what to do, and where to
+go.
+
+"Daughter," said a sweet voice that she knew, though it appeared to come
+out, and steal up from the leaves of another morning-glory,--"Daughter!"
+
+"Mother," said Rosebud.
+
+"You may have your choice to-day of these three things,--a
+butterfly-hunt, a wedding, or a play."
+
+"Oh, a wedding, a wedding!" said Rosebud. "Oh, I have always wanted to
+see a wedding!"
+
+"Be it so," said the voice; and instantly a sweet wind arose, and lifted
+her up, and swept her, and thousands more like her, over the blue deep,
+so swiftly that nothing could be seen but a mist of sparkles here and
+there, till they all found themselves on the sea-shore, at the mouth of
+a deep sparry cave, all hung about with the richest moss, and lighted
+with pearls in clusters, and with little patches of glowworms, and
+carpeted with the wings of butterflies. In the midst were a multitude of
+little fairies, hovering and floating over a throne of spider-net ivory,
+on which lay the bride, with a veil of starlight, interwoven with the
+breath of roses, covering her from head to foot, and falling over the
+couch, like sunshine playing on clear water.
+
+By and by a faint, strange murmuring was heard afar off, like the
+ringing of lily-bells to the touch of the honey-bees, growing louder and
+louder, and coming nearer and nearer every moment. Rosebud turned toward
+the sea with all the other fairies, and held her breath; and after a few
+moments, a fleet of little ships, with the most delicate purple and
+azure sails, so thin that you could see the sky through them, came
+tilting along over the sea, as if they were alive,--and so they
+were,--and drew up, as if in order of battle, just before the mouth of
+the cave; and then a silver trumpet sounded on the shore, and a swarm of
+hornets appeared, whizzing and whirring all about the cave; and then
+there was another trumpet, and another, about as loud as you may hear
+from a caged blue-bottle, and compliments were interchanged, and a
+salute fired, which frightened the little lady-fairies into all sorts of
+shapes, and made the little fairy-bride jump up and ask if her time had
+come, though, to tell you the truth, the noise did not appear much more
+terrible to Rosebud than her little brother's pop-gun; and then, a sort
+of barge, not unlike the blossom of a sweet pea in shape, was manned
+from the largest of the fleet, and, when it touched the bright sparkling
+sand, out leaped a little prince of a fellow, with a bunch of white
+feathers in his hat, plucked from the moth-miller, a sword like the
+finest cambric needle belted about his waist, and the most unimpeachable
+small-clothes.
+
+This turned out to be the bridegroom; and after a few more flourishes,
+and not a little pulling and hauling among the bridesmaids, the bride
+and the bridegroom stood up together, and looked silly and sheepish, as
+if butter wouldn't melt in their mouths; and after listening awhile to
+an old droning-beetle, without hearing a word he said, they bowed and
+courtesied, and made some sort of a reply, nobody could guess what; and
+then forth stepped the master of ceremonies, a priggish-looking
+grasshopper, with straw-colored tights, and a fashionable coat,
+single-breasted, and so quakerish, it set poor little Rosebud
+a-laughing, in spite of all she could do, every time she looked at his
+legs; and _then_! out flew the ten thousand trumpeting bumble-bees, and
+the katydid grew noisier than ever, and the cricket chirruped for joy,
+and the bridegroom touched the bride's cheek, and pointed slyly toward a
+little heap of newly-gathered roses and violets, piled up afar off, in a
+shadowy part of the cave, just underneath a trailing canopy of
+changeable moss; the bride blushed, and the fairies tittered, and little
+Rosebud turned away, and wished herself at home, and instantly the bride
+and the bridegroom vanished! and the ships and the fairies! and the
+lights and the music! and Rosebud found herself standing face to face
+with the little withered old woman, who was looking mournfully at the
+drooping forget-me-not. The tears came into her eyes; and for the first
+time since the flower took root--for the very first time--she began to
+think of her mother, and of her promise to the fairy; and she stooped
+down, in an agony of terror, and shame, and self-reproach, to see how it
+fared with her forget-me-not. Alas! it had already begun to droop and
+wither; and the leaves were changing color, and the blossoms were
+dropping off, and she knew that her mother was beginning to suffer.
+
+"Oh that I had never seen the hateful flower!" cried Rosebud; and then
+instantly recollecting herself, she dropped upon her knees, and kissed
+it, and wept upon it, and the flower seemed refreshed by her tears; and
+when she stood up and looked into the face of the good little fairy, and
+saw her lips tremble, and the color change in her sweet mournful eyes,
+she felt as if she never should be happy again.
+
+"Daughter of earth! child of the air!" said the fairy, "two more days
+remain to thee. What wouldst thou have?"
+
+"Oh nothing! nothing! Let me but go back to my dear, dear mother, and I
+shall be so happy!"
+
+"That cannot be. These trials are to prepare thee for thy return to her.
+Be patient, and take thy choice of these three things,--a tournament, a
+coronation, or a ball!"
+
+"Goody gracious! how I _should_ like to see a coronation!" cried
+Rosebud; and then she recollected herself, and blushed and courtesied,
+and said, "If you please, ma'am."
+
+"Call me mother, my dear; in Fairy-land I am your mother."
+
+"Well, mother," said Rosebud, the tears starting into her eyes and her
+heart swelling, as she determined never to call her mamma, no, never!
+"Well, mother, if you please, I would rather stay here and watch the
+flower; I don't want to see anything more in Fairy-land; I've had enough
+of such things to last me as long as I live. But oh, if I should happen
+to fall asleep!"
+
+"If you should, my dear, you will wake in season; but take your choice."
+
+"Thank you, mother, but I choose to stay here."
+
+At these words the fairy vanished, and Rosebud was left alone, looking
+at the dear little flower, which seemed to grow fresher and fresher, and
+more and more beautiful every minute, and wondering whether it would be
+so with her dear mamma; and then she fell a-thinking about her home, and
+how much trouble she had given her mother, and how much better she would
+always be, after she had got back to her once more; and then she fell
+asleep, and slept so soundly that she did not wake till the sun was up,
+and it was time to water the flower.
+
+At first she was terribly frightened; but when she remembered what the
+fairy told her, she began to feel comfortable, and, lest something might
+happen, she took a little sea-shell that lay there, and running down to
+the water, dipped it up full, and was on her way back, thinking how
+happy her poor dear mamma would feel if she could only know _what_ it
+was and _who_ it was that made her so much better, when she heard the
+strangest and sweetest noises all about her in the air, as if the whole
+sky were full of the happiest and merriest creatures! and when she
+looked up, lo! there was a broad glitter to be seen, as if the whole
+population of Fairy-land were passing right over her head, making a sort
+of path like that you see at sunrise along the blue deep, when the
+waters are motionless, and smooth, and clear.
+
+"Well," said she, looking up, "I _do_ wonder where they are going so
+fast"--and then she stopped--"and I do think they might be civil enough
+just to let a body know; I dare say 'tis the coronation, or the
+butterfly hunt, or the tournament, or the--oh, how I should like to be
+there!"
+
+No sooner was the wish uttered, than she found herself seated in a high
+gallery, as delicately carved as the ivory fans of the East; with
+diamonds and ostrich-feathers all about and below her, and a prodigious
+crowd assembled in the open air,--with the lists open--a trumpet
+sounding--and scores of knights armed cap-a-pie, and mounted on
+dragon-flies, waiting for the charge. All eyes were upon her, and
+everybody about was whispering her name, and she never felt half so
+happy in her life; and she was just beginning to compare the delicate
+embroidery of her wings with that of her next neighbor, a sweet little
+Fairy, who sat looking through her fingers at a youthful champion below,
+and pouting, and pouting, as if she wanted everybody to know that he had
+jilted her, when she happened to see a little forget-me-not embroidered
+on his beaver; and she instantly recollected her promise, and cried out,
+"Oh, mamma! mamma!" and wished herself back again, where she might sit
+by the flower and watch over it, and never leave it, never! till her
+three days of trial were ended.
+
+In a moment, before she could speak a word, or even make a bow to the
+nice little boy-fairy, who had just handed her up her glove on the point
+of a lance like a sunbeam, she found herself seated by the flower. Poor
+little thing! It was too late! Every blossom had fallen off but one, and
+that looked unhealthy, and trembled when she breathed upon it. She
+thought of her mamma, and fancied she could see them carrying her up to
+bed, and all the doctors there, and nobody able to tell what ailed her;
+and she threw herself all along upon the grass, and wished all the
+fairies at the bottom of the Red Sea, and herself with them! And when
+she looked up, what do you think she saw? and where do you think she
+was? why, she was at the bottom of the Red Sea, and all the wonders of
+the Red Sea were about her,--chariots and chariot-wheels and the
+skeletons of war-horses, and mounted warriors, with heaps of glittering
+armor, and jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and banner, and shield,
+and spear, with millions and millions of little sea-fairies, and Robin
+Goodfellows, and giants and dwarfs, and the funniest looking monsters
+you ever did see; and the waters were all bright with fairy-lamps that
+were alive, and with ribbons that were alive, and with changeable
+flowers that swam about and whispered to each other in a language of
+their own; and there were great heaps of pearl washed up into drifts and
+ridges, and a pile of the strangest-looking old-fashioned furniture, of
+gold and ivory, and little mermaids with their dolls not longer than
+your finger, with live fishes for tails, jumping about and playing
+hide-and-seek with the sun-spots and star-fishes, and the striped
+water-snakes of the Indian seas--the most brilliant and beautiful of all
+the creatures that live there.
+
+And while she was looking about her, and wondering at all she saw, she
+happened to think once more of the _forget-me-not_, and to wish herself
+back again! At that instant she heard a great heavy bell booming and
+tolling--she knew it was tolling--and she knew she was too late--and she
+knew that her mother was dead of a broken heart,--and she fell upon her
+face, and stretched forth her hands with a shriek, and prayed God to
+forgive her! and allow her to see her mother once more--only once more!
+
+"Why, what ails the child?" whispered somebody that seemed to be
+stooping over her.
+
+It was her mother's voice! and poor Ruth was afraid to look up, lest it
+should all vanish forever.
+
+"Upon my word, Sarah," said another voice,--it was her father's; "upon
+my word, Sarah, I do not know; but the poor little creature's thoughts
+appear to have undergone another change. I have heard nothing to-day of
+the forget-me-not which troubled her so the first week, have you?"
+
+"She has mentioned it but once to-day, and then she shuddered; but
+perhaps we had better keep it in the glass till we see whether it will
+bear to be transplanted, for she seems to have set her little heart upon
+having that flower live; I wish I knew why!"
+
+"Do you, indeed, mamma?" whispered poor Ruth, still without looking up;
+"well, then, I will tell you. That flower was given me by a fairy to
+make me remember my promises to you, my poor, dear, dead mamma; and so
+long as I water that, every day at the same hour, so long I shall be
+growing better and better, and my poor dear mamma--boo-hoo! boo-hoo!"
+and the little thing began to cry as if she would break her heart.
+
+"Why, this is stranger than all," said the father. "I can't help
+thinking the poor child would be rational enough now, if she hadn't
+read so many Fairy-books; but what a mercy it was, my dear Sarah, and
+how shall we ever be thankful enough, that you happened to be down there
+when she fell into the water."
+
+"Ah!" Ruth Page began to hold her breath, and listen with the strangest
+feeling.
+
+"Yes, Robert; but I declare to you I am frightened whenever I think of
+the risk I ran by letting her fall in, head first, as I did."
+
+Poor Ruth began lifting her head by little and little, and to feel
+about, and pinch herself, to see if she was really awake, or only
+dreaming.
+
+"And then, too, just think of this terrible fever, and the strange, wild
+poetry she has been talking, day after day, about Fairy-land."
+
+"Poetry! Fudge, Robert, fudge!"
+
+Ruth looked up, full of amazement and joy, and whispered, "Fudge,
+father, fudge!" and the very next words that fell from her trembling
+lips as she sat looking at her mother, and pointing at a little bunch of
+forget-me-nots in full flower, that her mother had kept for her in a
+glass by the window, were these: "Oh, mother! dearest mother! what a
+terrible dream I have had!"
+
+"Hush, my love, hush! and go to sleep, and we will talk this matter over
+when you are able to bear it."
+
+"Goody gracious, mamma!"
+
+"There she goes again!" cried the father; "now we shall have another
+fit!"
+
+"Hush, hush, my love! you must go to sleep, now, and not talk any more."
+
+"Well, kiss me, mamma, and let me have your hand to go to sleep with,
+and I'll try."
+
+Her mother kissed the dear little thing, and took her hand in hers, and
+laid her cheek upon the pillow, and, in less than five minutes, she was
+sound asleep, and breathing as she hadn't breathed before, since she had
+been fished out of the water, nearly three weeks back, on her way to
+Fairy-land.
+
+
+
+
+PICKINGS AND STEALINGS.
+
+
+Troublesome comforts are they at best, these Little Plagues; and yet,
+how on earth should we get along without them? Mysterious and wonderful
+in their perturbations and irregularities, they are continually amazing
+the wisest by their questionings, and startling whole neighborhoods with
+their strange outbreaks of inner life, as you may see by what follows.
+For a long while--many years, indeed--I have been in the habit of
+minuting down the stories that have come in my way about the little
+folks--the seedling cherubim--out of which, as the stars are smelted,
+the angels of God, who see His face forever, are to be recast and
+refashioned for the skies. Grains of gold are they, often gathered from
+street sweepings and rubbish; diamond-sparks which the great multitude,
+in their headlong hurry, overlook, but infinitely precious to the
+Philanthropist and the Philosopher. For example:--
+
+No. 1. And this I had from the late John Pierpont, who related it of a
+grandchild, yet living, I hope.
+
+"Aunt May-ee," said the little thing to her aunt, who was combing her
+hair, "I don't like Dod."
+
+"Don't like God, Sissy! when He's so good to you, and gives you Aunt
+Mary and grandpa, and grandma, and ever so many friends to take care of
+you,--_why_, Sissy?"
+
+"Well, but"--growing thoughtful and trying to escape--"well, but Sissy
+don't like black Dod."
+
+"There isn't any black God, Sissy."
+
+"_Then who made Chloe?_"
+
+Did not that child reason?
+
+No. 2. "'Top, mother!" said a little boy to his mother, who was reading
+to him about Abraham and Isaac, and had just come to the uplifted knife;
+"'top, mother! I don't want to hea any more. _I despise him._" Did not
+that child _feel_? and is it conceivable that he meant what he said?
+Feeling his gorge rise, with abhorrence, it may be, and not
+understanding the awful significance of the threatened sacrifice, a type
+of what afterwards happened on Mount Moriah, where the Temple stands, he
+took that word which, in his little childish experience, best
+corresponded with his thought of horror and amazement that a father
+should put his child to death.
+
+No. 3. And this reminds me of a little girl, who had never learned to
+read, but used to take her Bible and sit down by herself in the corner,
+as all children do at times, and make believe read. One day, when the
+mother was very busy, the child wanted to hear about Noah and the Ark.
+The mother had read over certain passages aloud so often, that the child
+had got them by heart. She opened at the place, and gave her little one
+the book in her lap. After awhile, the child began to murmur to
+herself--the mother listened--and the little thing read as follows, with
+the greatest possible seriousness and unction: "And the Lord said unto
+Noah, Come out, thou and thy wife, and thy sons' wives and thy
+daughters, and--_balancez_!"
+
+The dear little puss had just begun to go to the dancing-school. What
+wonder that she didn't always know her head from her heels?
+
+No. 4. Another little girl, who had been favored with glimpses of the
+upper sky, having been told by her mother that she was _always_
+surrounded by guardian angels, grew very thoughtful, and, after drawing
+a long breath, looked up and said, "Mamma, do you mean _really_ that
+_all the whole time_ they are with me?" On receiving a solemn assurance
+in the affirmative, she exclaimed with an impatient fling, "Well,
+really, I _should_ like to be alone a little while, _sometimes_."
+
+What a lesson for the mother! If children are allowed to dabble with
+mysteries like these, without explanation, they cannot be otherwise than
+shocking sometimes, like a Leyden jar; and if they are, whose fault is
+it? Either more or less ought to have been told that dear little, honest
+baby.
+
+No. 5. But children have wonderful foresight, and often reach
+conclusions by a sort of intuitive logic, as women do--flashing the
+truth upon us without preparation, and forecasting the future, as if
+suddenly gifted with second sight. A little boy, having been told by his
+parents that he couldn't go to church because he was too small, answered
+with a toss of the head, "Well, you'd better take me now, for when I get
+bigger, I may not want to go!" To which I say, Bravo! my little man!
+Such a reply ought to throw the doors of any church wide open to you, as
+to a glorified spirit--in embryo.
+
+No. 6. A little girl knelt down by her mother's knee to say her prayers,
+before going to bed. After finishing the Lord's Prayer, she went on to
+offer up her little petitions for every separate member of the family,
+and at last came to the youngest, who, having been rather naughty that
+day, was out of favor: "And please God make Lucy a good little girl,
+and make----" here she was suddenly interrupted by Lucy, who burst out
+with--"Here you! stop that! I'll do my own praying myself, I thank you!"
+
+Who would not sympathize with such a child, under such circumstances,
+even though both were at an infant prayer-meeting? And who is there who
+would not shrink from being prayed for to his face anywhere, after such
+a fashion?
+
+No. 7. Their notions of language, too, are sometimes of the drollest, as
+where the poor boy used that unfortunate word _despise_, when he meant
+only to express horror and astonishment. "How did you fall--_backward_?"
+said a mother to a child who was just coming to herself and gasping for
+breath, after a heavy fall. "_Backward_, mamma! no indeed--I fell
+_accidentally_."
+
+No. 8. A dear little boy, anything but pious, though happy and cheerful,
+and about as good as most boys of his age, had been listening patiently
+for a long while to his mother's account of heaven--likening it to a
+great everlasting Sabbath-school. At last he looked up, with a troubled
+countenance, and said in a whisper, "But mamma, don't you think God
+would let me have a little devil come up and play with me sometimes,
+when I have been very good?"
+
+No. 9. Another little fellow, on his way home from his church with his
+mother, seemed astonished at the crowds he saw. After walking awhile
+without speaking, he came out with, "Why mamma, I should think God would
+be tired making so many people." Here was an embryo theologian for you!
+And yet he had probably never heard of the Scripture, where it is said
+that God _repented_ of His making man. Nor was he quite prepared to
+understand why such crowds were ever made, nor what they were good for,
+seeing how they behaved, and how they were employed, and how they
+dressed, and how they chattered. If Babels were scattered of yore, why
+not now--if they try to scale the heavens by a forbidden path, or to
+carry their bulwarks by assault, as most of the nations do?
+
+No. 10. A little girl who had learned her letters and all her lessons by
+the help of a pictured primer, but had never learned to put them
+together, opened her book one day at the picture of a _quail_, with its
+name underneath, in large letters. After studying a long while, she
+seemed to catch the idea, and called it a _pigeon_--a word she could not
+pronounce, though she knew the bird well enough, and out she came with
+"Q. U. A. I. L.--_fidget_"--with such an air of triumph and
+self-complacency, it was never forgotten.
+
+No. 11. Children's prayers--if they are indeed prayers--must be
+acceptable on earth as well as in heaven; and he must indeed be
+heartless, or worse, who would think slightingly of them, although,
+sooth to say, they are sometimes hard to bear. For example: a little
+girl, on having her hair smartly pulled by her little brother, while
+saying her prayers, went on for awhile, without turning her head, in the
+same low monotone, "and please God, excuse me for a minute, while I kick
+Neddy." Tell me that child was without understanding what is meant by
+prayer! or that she meant to abuse the privilege. No such thing--though,
+to be sure, she may have misunderstood some of its functions. Had she
+not been a believer, she would have kicked Neddy at once, without asking
+leave--would she not?
+
+No. 12. But children must not be allowed to counterfeit or pretend.
+Encourage them to be honest, even in prayer--honest even at church. A
+fine, hearty little fellow, who had been treated with his first circus
+on Saturday, and to his first church-service the next Sabbath-morning,
+sat quietly enough, as everybody acknowledged, for the first half hour:
+and then he began to grow uneasy, and fidget in his seat, until he was
+admonished by his mother more than once. Worn to death at last, he
+groaned out loud enough to be heard in the neighboring pews, "O dear!
+I'd rather go to two circuses than one meeting!" Of course he told the
+truth; and of course he ought to have been patted on the back, and
+encouraged for his downright honesty.
+
+No. 13. Quart pots don't hold a gallon--though pint bottles are
+sometimes said to hold a quart in certain establishments; and we must
+be wary of packing and crowding these earthen vessels, before they are
+hooped and strengthened. A small boy, not otherwise remarkable, though
+mischievous, adroit and playful, had been talked to, till he was out of
+all patience with a clergyman, about the omnipresence of God. It was
+pretty clear, from what followed, that he had begun to be somewhat
+sceptical, and he determined to lay a trap for his teacher. One day,
+when they were riding together, the following conversation was had:--
+
+"Didn't you tell me, sir," said our young master, "that God is
+everywhere?"
+
+"Yes, my child."
+
+"Is he in this carriage?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Is he in my hat?"
+
+"Yes--yes."
+
+"Is he in my pocket?"
+
+"Yes, child"--rather impatiently.
+
+"Hurrah! now I've got you! I ain't got no pocket!" was the clincher.
+
+What a lesson for that clergyman! If, as Goethe says, Hamlet was an oak
+planted in a china vase, intended for a rose-tree, so that when the
+plant grew, the pot was shattered, what was likely to happen to that
+child, if the omnipresence of God had been suffered to take root in his
+young, unprepared heart?
+
+No. 14. Another child, afflicted with similar misgivings, took a
+different course to satisfy his inward longings. After propounding every
+conceivable question at the breakfast-table one day, he clenched the
+whole with, "Is God in this sugar-bowl?" "Certainly," said his mother.
+Whereupon, with a whoop, he clapped his hand on the bowl, and shouted,
+"Ah, ha! now I've got you, old fellow!"
+
+So much for misunderstanding the most obvious truth, namely, that,
+although men are but children of a larger growth, children are not often
+philosophers, theologians, or giants--Mozart to the contrary
+notwithstanding; and that, in training them for another world, they are
+to be uplifted, not overborne, with mystery.
+
+No. 15. Another little chap of three years only, met his father on his
+return from a long journey, exclaiming, "O papa, I've got a tory of
+_interet_ to tell you. Dis mornin' mamma was writin' in the parlor, an'
+a gate, big, yeller fly comed in at the open window, an' it kep sayin'
+_sizzum, sizzum, sizzum,_ three times, an' it _beed_ my hand with
+its foot, and its foot was hot!"
+
+Had not this child pretty decided notions of what is meant by the song
+of a "bumble bee," and the sting? Let him alone for that.
+
+No. 16. The same boy, having thrown something valuable into the fire,
+was taken to task by his father, who, after remonstrating with him
+awhile on the enormity of his transgression, wound up with, "Why, my
+dear child, if you go on in this way, just think what a dreadful boy you
+will be, when you grow up!" At this, the little fellow's face brightened
+all over, and he exclaimed, "Why papa! I shall be yest like ee yobber
+kitten, sant I?"--alluding to the autobiography of a very disreputable
+fast kitten, who, or rather _which_, had taken to the highway at an
+early age, and is therefore a special favorite with children of all
+ages--like most of Mayne Reid's heroes, or Jonathan Wild, or Jack
+Sheppard.
+
+No. 17. And this reminds me of a similar case, where well-meant
+instruction was painfully misunderstood by a promising little fellow,
+who was very fond of Bible-stories with illustrations. His mother was
+showing him a picture of Daniel in the lion's den, with the old lions
+ramping and tearing their prey to tatters, and a young lion--a
+cub--looking on. Just when she had begun to congratulate herself on the
+success of her teaching, the child cried out, "O mamma! look! look! the
+little one won't get any!"
+
+N. B.--Beware of cramming and overloading. Beware also of expecting too
+much in this world. But, above, all, beware of misunderstanding yourself
+in your children!
+
+No. 18. Yet more. A little girl having been brought up on the song "I
+want to be an angel!" had evidently been pondering the manners, habits,
+occupations and usages of that fraternity, until at length she came out
+decidedly with, "No mamma--I don't want to be an angel!"
+
+"Not want to be an angel! Why, Susie!" exclaimed the mother, greatly
+shocked at the child's hopeless condition; "and why not, pray?"
+
+"'Cause, mamma, I don't want to lose all my pretty close, an' wear
+fedders, like a hen!"
+
+There's truthfulness for you--worth its weight in gold--a string of
+"Orient pearls at random strung."
+
+No. 19. Another little fairy, having been carefully trained to a proper
+estimate of the becoming in attire, was taken into a room to see her
+dead grandmother in her coffin. She looked very grave at first, and then
+sorrowful, and after a minute or two said, in a low, sweet, trembling
+voice, with her little hand stealing slowly into her mother's hand, "Has
+grandmamma gone to heaven in that ugly cap, mamma?"
+
+No. 20. Little mischiefs, at the best, I have said--are they not? Just
+read the following, and say no, if you dare! A youngster in Peoria,
+Illinois, while ransacking his sister's portfolio, came across a package
+of love-letters carefully tied up with a blue ribbon, and stowed snugly
+away; being her correspondence with a charming fellow, not, perhaps, to
+the liking of papa and mamma. These he took to the corner of a crowded
+thoroughfare, and, as he had seen the postman do, distributed them to
+the passers-by. His poor sister heard of the achievement after they were
+in general circulation; and then!--ask our friend Carlyle, after
+shooting Niagara; or Wendell Phillips--after Grant. See No. 53.
+
+No. 21. I have just met with this: "A little lady of thirty months only,
+insists on calling a cane with a crooked handle, 'An umbrella without
+any clothes on.'" There's a philologist for you! And one, too, capable
+of giving a reason for what she says.
+
+No. 22. A little boy in Scotland was asked by his Sabbath-school teacher
+what was meant by _regeneration_. "Being born again," he replied. "And
+would you not like to be born again, my little man?" said the teacher.
+"_No!_" answered the boy, with decided emphasis, greatly to the surprise
+of the good dominie. "And why not?" continued the latter. "For fear I
+might be born a lassie," said the boy. Was there ever a better reason,
+with the poor boy's understanding of the great mystery? So much for
+dabbling with metaphysics before the unprepared.
+
+No. 23. And sometimes they have to do with politics and other worldly
+matters,--the social evil, perhaps, or woman's-rights, or universal
+suffrage. And why not? being what they are, miniature men and women,
+with the rights of both.
+
+"Be you a Democrat or a Republican?" said one of these President-makers
+in embryo, to another little fellow in a frilled apron. "No, I'm not
+either," was the indignant reply; "I belong to the Congregational
+Church." Of course he did; having been baptized into that denomination,
+when just old enough to be deeply impressed with the ceremony.
+
+No. 24. A little girl of six years at the most, after her nurse had
+enlarged upon the character and attributes of the Old Evil One, till her
+blood ran cold, broke out with, "Auntie, if the devil is so wicked, why
+don't God kill him?" A question, by the way, which has "puzzled
+philosophers of all sects and ages," like the "cosmogony of the world,"
+according to Oliver Goldsmith, and his delightful friend, Ephraim
+Jenkinson.
+
+No. 25. Little Maud, five years old, was sitting on the floor, and
+trying to stitch like her mother. Suddenly looking up, after a long
+silence, she said, like one familiar with the gossip of the tea-table
+and the quilting-frame, "Mamma, I was thinking God must be getting quite
+along in years!" Of course, the poor little thing had never been so far
+indoctrinated, as to understand that, with God, a thousand years are as
+one day, or a watch in the night, and one day as a thousand years, with
+no past, and no future, but one everlasting present.
+
+No. 26. Another little woman, being asked by her Sunday-school teacher,
+"What did the Israelites do after passing through the Red Sea?"
+answered, "I don't know, ma'am, but I guess they dried themselves." And
+why not, pray? What would be more likely?
+
+No. 27. And here we have one exceedingly jealous for the Lord. A little
+boy, who, whenever he went out to play, was plagued and pestered by a
+little girl somewhat older--who squinted awfully, and was, it must be
+acknowledged, absolutely frightful--on being asked why he was always so
+_ugly_ to Susie Bates, since God made Susie Bates as well as him,
+exclaimed, "O, Nurse Thompson, ain't you ashamed to talk in that way
+about the good Lord?"
+
+Will you tell me that child did not reason? or that, _as_ a child, he
+was irreverent, because he would not charge God foolishly, nor hold the
+Great Workman answerable for such workmanship?
+
+No. 28. And this brings to mind the following incident: Some years ago
+my own little boy went, with his brother Robert, on a trip to the
+Islands. After awhile, he was caught making the most horrible faces at
+another little boy, somewhat older, who sat in the stern of the boat a
+long way off, but fronting them. Brother Robert interfered, and asked
+what possessed my little fellow--a good-natured, pleasant boy, as ever
+lived. "Why, don't you see? He's making faces at me all the time," said
+Pepper-pot. Upon further inquiry, it turned out that the strange boy was
+epileptic, or troubled with St. Vitus' dance, and all the faces he had
+been making were involuntary. Of course, it never entered the head of
+our little one that the faces he saw were God's work, or he would have
+lowered his voice to a whisper, as he always did in the Sabbath-school,
+when he asked about God.
+
+No. 29. That children are curious, and inquisitive, and rather
+troublesome at times, we all know. But, if it were otherwise, how would
+they ever learn their a b _abs_ in this world? In a Western village, a
+charming little widow had been made love to by a physician. "The
+wedding-day appointed was--the wedding-clothes provided." But among her
+children was a poor crippled boy, who had been allowed full swing ever
+since the death of his father. "Georgie," said the mother, calling him
+to her, "Georgie, I am going to do something pretty soon that I should
+like to have a little talk with you about." "Well, ma, what is it?" "I
+am going to marry Dr. Jones in a few days, and I hope----" "Bully for
+you, ma! _Does Dr. Jones know it?_" Who that wears a cap would not
+sympathize with that poor widow?
+
+No. 30. But children are soothsayers and prophets; and they have open
+visions, it may be, if we would but listen to their low breathing.
+"Father," said a little Swedish girl, one still, starry night, after a
+long silence, "father, I have been thinking if the wrong side of heaven
+is so beautiful, what must the right side be?" Was not this a
+revelation? and such a revelation, too, that even her father must have
+been astonished? Was it not as if her whole character had been revealed
+to him, on her way upward, as by a flash from the empyrean?
+
+No. 31. But we must be patient with all anxious inquirers. In a small
+Western village, there was a store kept by a nice young woman, who was a
+teacher in the Sabbath-school, and deeply interested in all that
+concerned that institution.
+
+"Do you go to the Sabbath-school?" said she, one day, to a dirty little
+chap, who came blundering through the establishment, as if he had taken
+it for the play-ground.
+
+"Sabbath-school! what's that?" said he.
+
+"Don't you know? Why, a Sabbath-school is where we read in the Bible,
+and learn all about God, and our blessed Saviour, and the----"
+
+"O," said he, "I've read about God, and _t'other feller that killed his
+brother_, in the School Reader. Tain't no use my goin' to school Sunday;
+I know all about 'em." Whereupon the young lady teacher "dried
+up"--wilted, perhaps--and set her trap for another young reprobate.
+
+No. 32. "A little three-year-old," says a neighbor, "was in the habit of
+helping himself to crackers without leave, by lifting the lid of a tin
+box, and plunging his little arm in up to the elbow. One day, after
+listening to stories about rats, he went after a cracker, and hearing a
+noise that he fancied was made by rats, he scampered back to the
+sitting-room, with big eyes and a flushed face, and assured his mother
+that he wasn't afraid. 'O, muzzer!' said he, 'I ain't afaid o' _wats,
+but I'se so tired I couldn't lift the cover_!'" How many grown people
+have you heard guilty of a similar subterfuge. Not afraid, to be
+sure--not they--but only somewhat hurried, or having just remembered an
+engagement, as they were about lifting the lid of something dangerous.
+
+No. 33. And here is a case of downright special pleading, worthy of Lord
+Coke himself, or Saunders, or Theophilus Parsons, or Chitty, or Judge
+Gould. "Oh, Tommy, that was abominable in you, to eat your little
+sister's share of the cake!" "Didn't you tell me, ma, that I was always
+to _take her part_?" said Tommy.
+
+No. 34. "George," said a minister to one of the little boys, who looked
+as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, "where is your sister Minnie?"
+"Gone to heaven, sir." "What!--is she dead?" "O, no, sir; she went to
+buy a box of matches." "Why, you said she had gone to heaven." "Yes,
+sir--but you said last Sunday that matches were made in heaven, and so I
+thought she went there."
+
+N. B.--I don't believe a word of this; but if true, all I have to say
+is, that, like the princes in the tower, it is well that such children
+are not often allowed to grow up. "Whom the gods love die young," said
+the ancients; but I say, Whom the gods love die of old age--unless they
+have been snuffed out for their untimely brilliancy.
+
+No. 35. "Father, I don't like the bishop." "Why, dear?" "Because he
+sprinkled water all over my new frock, and said '_Fanny, I despise
+thee!_'"
+
+No. 36. A little girl of seven years, who had been brought up to go to
+_meeting_, and knew nothing about a church, high or low, was taken by a
+friend to the Episcopal church on communion day. Returning home, she
+was asked by her father how she liked the service. "Well, papa," she
+answered, "I must say that I don't like to go to a place where the
+minister _has to change his shirt three times in meeting_." Ritualistic,
+High-Church ceremonies, the young lady was not quite prepared for.
+
+No. 37. A certain little Sissy, being worried by a big brother till she
+was out of all patience, plumped down upon her knees, where she stood,
+and cried out, "O Lord! bless my brother Tom. He lies--he steals--he
+swears; all boys do--we girls don't. Amen!" Was the poor thing a little
+pharisee in her indignation, without knowing it? or was she only--like
+most of us who are loudest in our outcries for the salvation of
+others--a little overburdened with self-righteousness?
+
+No. 38. _Small boy on tip-toe to his playfellows._--"Now you hush there,
+all of you."
+
+"Why, what's the matter, Bobby?" "Well--we've got a new baby. It's very
+weak and tired, and walked all the way from heaven last night; and you
+mustn't be kicking up a row here now."
+
+No. 39. _Little Tommy._--"I say, ma, is it true that we are made out of
+the dust?"
+
+_Ma._--"Yes, Tommy; so we are told."
+
+_Tommy._--"I'll be hanged if I can believe it; 'cause you see, if we
+was, when we sweat, wouldn't we be muddy?"
+
+That boy was a Transcendentalist, and no mistake.
+
+No. 40. _Natural affection betraying itself._--A man of influence and
+character was dying slowly of consumption. Being satisfied that his days
+were numbered--his very breathings counted--he used to call his little
+son to the bed-side, the pet of the household, and say to him, whenever
+he wanted any little thing done, that by and by, after he was dead and
+buried, the horse and carriage, and money-box, would all be little
+Sammy's. At last the father died, and the little fellow, then about five
+years of age,--with his grandfather and mother, were about leaving the
+graveyard,--snatched the reins from his grandfather, and sung out, "_Get
+up, old hoss! You's mine now, carriage, money-box and all!_" Had he been
+a few years older, he would have kept the secret to himself, and
+peradventure looked sorrowful over the untimely inheritance.
+
+No. 41. Little Frank had been told to believe that we are all made of
+dust. One day, as he stood watching at the window, while a strong wind
+was whirling the dust into eddies, and hurrying it away into holes and
+corners, and there piling it up with the dried leaves, his mother asked
+him what he was thinking of. "O," said he, with uncommon seriousness
+for so young a philosopher, "I thought the dust looked as though there
+was going to be another little boy."
+
+No. 42. A very little chap, who would no more have thought of going to
+bed without saying his prayers, than of going to bed without his supper,
+while the goodies were in sight, had just bidden everybody good-night,
+with a warm, loving kiss. That very day his mother had been teaching him
+the lines, "You'd scarce expect one of my age," and so he began his
+little prayer in the following fashion: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I
+pray the Lord my soul to keep; if I should chance to fall below
+Demosthenes or Cicero, don't view me with a cricket's eye, but----"
+
+"Hush, hush!" said his mother; "O hush, my boy! that's no part of the
+prayer."
+
+"Yes it is too, mamma--don't view me with a cricket's eye," etc., etc.
+
+Didn't that mother laugh a little to herself, think you? I'll bet she
+did.
+
+No. 43. A teacher in one of our Sabbath-schools, who had quite a
+reputation for accommodating his lesson to the understanding of
+children, said to a little bit of a thing, one day, with whom she had
+been laboring for a long while, "If a naughty girl should strike you, my
+dear, you would forgive her, wouldn't you?" "Yeth, marm--if I couldn't
+catch her," was the reply--only to be matched by the dying Highlander,
+who called out to a neighboring chief, whom he had just been reconciled
+to, "But mark ye, lairdee--mind now--if I get abroad agen, all this goes
+for naethin'."
+
+No. 44. Another little chap, just verging upon three, but of a
+thoughtful, prying disposition far beyond his years, sat watching his
+mother while she was making biscuit for tea--though her husband was an
+Orthodox clergyman of Pittsfield, Mass.--and asked her if it was not
+wicked to work on Sunday. "Certainly," said she. "O my!" said he,
+clapping his little hands, "won't 'oo catch it, when 'oo gets to
+heaven!"
+
+No. 45. And then, too, how knowing the little wretches are sometimes. A
+young gentleman of about five summers was travelling in a crowded
+stage-coach, and had been taken into the lap of a passenger. On the way,
+some stories were told about pickpockets and their adroitness, and the
+conversation at last became general. "Ah, my fine fellow," said the
+gentleman who had the little one upon his knee, "how easy I could pick
+_your_ pocket"--as it lay gaping near his hand. "No you couldn't,
+neither," said the boy, "'cause I've been looking out for you all the
+way."
+
+No. 46. And how wise beyond their years, and how full of resource in
+danger, sometimes. As three children, Peter Mitchell, Louis Leach, and
+Ann I. Lindsay, aged eight, five and four--I give their names, that they
+be remembered, and the facts verified--were playing about the premises
+of Mr. Horace Balcomb, in the town of Sudbury, Mass., Leach tumbled into
+a hogs-head of rain-water set in the earth, five feet deep. As soon as
+he fell in, the boy Mitchell ran away to find his mother, who lived a
+long way off; but the little girl--only four, you will remember--managed
+to get hold of the drowning boy by the shoulders, and keep his head
+above the water, till the neighbors came to her help, and pulled him out
+in safety.
+
+No. 47. In a Boston Sunday-school--where, of course, impertinent,
+puzzling questions are never allowed--the teacher asked, "Where was
+Jesus _taken_, when he was arrested in the garden?" A bright little
+thing answered immediately, "To the station-house." Whereupon the
+teacher observed that there were no station-houses at that time; and the
+poor child instantly corrected herself by saying, "I meant the State's
+Prison." Teachers, beware!
+
+No. 48. A naughty little boy, being told by his mother that God would
+not forgive him, if he did something, answered, "Yes He would too--God
+likes to forgive little boys--that's what He's for." Of course that
+boy was a Universalist from the shell, and had about as clear a notion
+of what God was _for_, as many a profound theologian, or metaphysician.
+
+No. 49. But we have Grace Darlings, Florence Nightingales, and many
+other self-denying, self-sacrificing heroines in miniature. We have only
+to look about us, and have our ears open, and see, and hear, and
+remember for ourselves, that female wonders are of all ages and every
+age, and that God never measures them by feet or inches, nor counts
+their years, nor weighs them in any other than the scales with which He
+weighed the earth itself, at the beginning.
+
+A long train of cars, fourteen or fifteen at least, were hurrying
+through the Alleghanies. They were crowded with passengers. As they went
+headlong down the inclined plane, they came to a short, narrow curve,
+hewed through the living rock, with a high, steep wall on each side.
+Suddenly a steam-whistle was heard through the gorge, screaming, Put on
+the brakes! put on the brakes! Every window flew up, and scores of heads
+were thrust out, and all the passengers sprang to their feet, while the
+cars went thundering on, with a continually increasing speed. As the
+engine approached the curve, the engineer had caught a glimpse of a
+little girl playing on the track with her baby-brother. One moment! and
+the cars would be tearing over them. The scream of the whistle startled
+the little girl, and her marvellous readiness and self-possession, like
+a flash. Seizing her baby-brother, she crowded him into a crevice made
+by blasting, and just about large enough to admit the little fellow; and
+the next moment, while the passengers were holding their breath, and
+expecting to see the poor girl crushed against the steep wall, they
+heard a clear, sweet, childish voice, like one crying in the wilderness,
+"Cling close to the rock, Johnny! cling close to the rock!" and saw the
+baby cuddling up close to the rough wall, as to the bosom of its mother,
+while the ponderous cars whirled past him like a tornado. Careless for
+herself, or at the worst, not thinking at all of herself, the poor
+little barefooted sister stood for a moment like her brother's
+guardian-angel, between the living and the dead.
+
+No. 50. But just read the following, which is undoubtedly true--true in
+every particular. Three children belonging to New Brunswick got lost in
+the woods. It was a dreary, wild region; a dark storm was brewing; it
+was near nightfall. The eldest, only six, having satisfied herself that
+there was no hope of their being found, nor of their finding their way
+out before the next day, put the little ones into a sheltered nook,
+stripped off most of her own clothes to wrap them in, and went away in
+search of dry sea-weed and brush, to cover them with. The next day the
+little ones were found all warm and breathing, with the sea-grass and
+brush heaped up about them, and the dear little six-year-old mother
+lying dead and stiff on the shore, alongside of the last pile of brush
+she had gathered, but wanted the strength to carry off.
+
+No. 51. Three little girls were playing among the poppies and sage-brush
+of the back-yard. Two of them were making believe keep house, a little
+way apart, as near neighbors might. At last one of them was overheard
+saying to the youngest of the lot, "There now, Nellie, you go over to
+Sarah's house and stop there a little while, and talk as fast as ever
+you can, and then you come back and tell me what she says about me, and
+then I'll talk about her; and then you go and tell her all I say, and
+then we'll get mad as hornets, and won't speak when we meet, just as our
+mothers do, you know; and that'll be such fun--won't it?" Hadn't these
+little mischiefs lived to some purpose? and were they not close
+observers, and apt scholars, charmingly trained for the chief business
+of life in a small neighborhood?
+
+No. 52. A young hopeful of our acquaintance, under five years of age,
+has been for a long time debating with himself whether he would be a
+circus-rider or a brigadier-general. After weighing all the _pros_ and
+_cons_, he has decided for the circus. What a pity some of our
+brigadiers had not gone through a similar process in the late war--and
+arrived at the same conclusion! We should have been spared many a
+blundering mishap.
+
+No. 53. A three-year-old baby in Georgetown, D.C., having watched the
+operations of newsboys and letter-carriers while distributing circulars,
+newspapers, etc., took from his father's desk a large pile of business
+letters, and began the process of distribution with astonishing
+success; but, after all, brought no blushes to anybody's cheek, so far
+as we have reason to believe, notwithstanding the example set him by the
+little boy with his sister's love-letters, already mentioned. See No.
+20.
+
+Well do I remember a little chubby fellow strutting through the country
+kitchen of his father, when I myself was but a broth of a boy, with a
+heap of folded papers sticking out of his trousers' pocket. "These be
+all writs, by George!" said he, slapping his thigh as he went along.
+Upon further inquiry, we found that he was imitating a new
+deputy-sheriff, who used to come a-courting there Sabba'-days.
+
+No. 54. A young gentleman of only six at the outside, was cruelly beset
+by a baby of eighteen months, with decided manifestations of fondness.
+"Don't you see, Johnny, that the baby wants to kiss you?" said his
+mother. "Yes 'm--'at's 'cause he tates me for his papa," was the
+explanation of Lilliput. My own little fellow used to complain that the
+servant-girls were always under his feet, when he invaded the kitchen.
+
+No. 55. While crossing a steam-ferry, a little three-year-old exclaimed,
+as he saw a sail-boat, "O, mamma! there's a boat with a bonnet on"--a
+poke-bonnet, of course.
+
+No. 56. And sometimes the best of us get more than we have bargained
+for, while trying to enlighten these will-o'-the-wisps. A preacher, who
+was talking to the boys in a pleasant, familiar way at the New-Hampshire
+State Reform-School, about good people being respected while the naughty
+were despised and shunned, ventured on an illustration suited to their
+capacities. "Now, boys, when I walk through the streets, and I speak to
+some people, and not to others, what is the reason?" "'Cause some are
+rich and some are poor," yelped a little fellow in the corner; who, it
+may be, never heard of the Apostle James, nor of what he says in Chapter
+II. about the rich man coming into your assembly with a gold ring, in
+goodly apparel, and also a poor man in vile raiment, and you say to the
+first, "Sit thou here in a good place; and to the poor, Stand thou
+there, or sit under my footstool;" yet was he learned in the Scripture
+nevertheless, and that without knowing it,--God Almighty being his
+teacher.
+
+No. 57. Can this be true? If yea, that child must have died young. It is
+from the _Lawrence Eagle_. "In a gentleman's family in this city," says
+the editor, "there is a little boy somewhat remarkable for smartness,
+and for his understanding of 'pure English undefiled.' He is only four.
+Not many days since, he was at the table 'cutting up' in the usual way,
+when his mother reproved him. Upon this he began buttering a huge slice
+of bread at such a furious rate, that his mother found it necessary to
+interfere again: 'Why Johnny,' said she, 'how you do behave! You mustn't
+eat so much butter; it will be the death of you.' The little chap looked
+up with a roguish smile, and said, 'Well, mother, I mean to go well
+buttered, you see, if I am not so well _bread_.'" This the editor was
+kind enough to explain, by enclosing "_bred_" in a parenthesis, after
+the style of newspaper purveyors, who seem to take it for granted that
+most of their capital jokes are unintelligible to the common reader.
+
+No. 58. Little Daisy's mother was trying to make her understand the
+meaning of _smile_. "Oh yes, I know," said the little one, her face all
+lighting up as she spoke, "it is the whisper of a laugh." Quite equal to
+the "frozen music" of architecture, or the "poetry of motion." _Sed
+quaere_, as the lawyers say, Was such a thing ever said by a little
+child? I know not.
+
+No. 59. But here is something we can believe. A buxom Ohio school-girl
+was going through her calisthenic performances for the amusement of her
+little brothers and sisters. A youthful visitor, full of compassion for
+the poor thing, asked her brother _if that gal had fits_? "No," replied
+the indignant brother, "them's gymnastics." "Oh, I see; how long has she
+had 'em?" which reminds me that I was once asked by a laborer, who saw
+half a hundred stout fellows exercising in the open air, bare-headed,
+with their jackets off, in Voelker's London Gymnasium at St. John's
+Wood, "How much we got a day?"
+
+No. 60. But the inquisitiveness of these folks, who are to govern the
+world hereafter, is not confined to every-day investigations; and well
+for us that they are not: and well must it be for the nations--for what
+our children are now, that will our country be hereafter.
+
+"Mamma, how does God born people black?" said a sprightly little
+whippersnapper, who had been listening to a talk about the freedmen.
+
+"By His great power."
+
+"Well, I guess He must have a great big pot of blackin', and then He
+smooches 'em all over, jess as soon as they are borned."
+
+"No, no, my dear--that would soon rub off," said mamma.
+
+After a while a very earnest, exulting little voice was heard from
+underneath the bedclothes, saying, "I know now, mamma! He mixes the
+blackin' with the dust."
+
+Set down that child for a thorough-going investigator--never to be put
+off with anything short of demonstration--like Sir Humphrey Davy, or
+Faraday.
+
+No. 61. And then, too, how jealous they are of their little
+prerogatives, and how they stand up for themselves, when hard pushed! A
+returned Californian found the baby he had left in her mother's lap, a
+smart little wayward minx of five summers. One day he happened to offend
+her ladyship, when she exclaimed, "There now! I do wish you'd never
+married into the family."
+
+No. 62. Freddy, a sunny-haired little fellow, just beginning to say "I
+shall be five next year about this time," after sitting awhile as if
+lost in thought, broke out with, "Say, pa, can God do anything?" "Yes,
+dear." "Can He make a two-year old colt in two minutes?" "Why--He
+wouldn't want to do that, Freddy." "But I say pa, if He did want to,
+could He do it?" "Yes, certainly," answered the father, somewhat annoyed
+at the child's pertinacity. "What! in two minutes, pa?" "Yes, in two
+minutes." "Well, then, the colt wouldn't be two years old, would he?"
+There's a logician for you--ay, and metaphysician too; but there! don't
+they swarm about our supper-tables and Sabbath-schools, just now, like
+the frogs in Egypt?
+
+No. 63. _Putting it Home._--A little Berkshire five-year-old began to be
+ravenous about bed-time, and was afraid to ask for more supper. At last,
+after pondering the question awhile, he said, "Mother, are little
+children that starve to death happy after they die?" Of course that
+child drew extra rations for once.
+
+No. 64. "Sammy," said a young mother to her darling, "Sammy dear, do
+you understand the difference between body and soul?" "Don't think I do,
+ma--that is, not exactly." "Shall mother try to make it clear to him?"
+"Yes, mamma." "Well, then," patting his arms and shoulders, "this is the
+body. The soul is what you live with; the body carries you about."
+"_You_, mamma--and who is you?" "Never mind now--this, as I told you,"
+touching him again on the shoulders and arms, "this is the body; but
+there is something underneath, something deeper in. You can feel it now.
+What is it?" "O, I know!" said he, with a flash of delighted
+intelligence overspreading every feature, "it is my flannel undershirt."
+Of course it was! What other soul had he any idea of after mamma was
+done with him?
+
+No. 65. _O Hush!_--A gentleman was admiring the beautiful hair of a
+young, handsome, fashionable widow, when her little girl, who had no
+idea of being overlooked, observed, with a fling and a pout, "I guess my
+hair would look well too, if I took as much care of it. Mamma never
+sleeps in her hair." Of course pollywog took a lesson, after bed-time,
+with the young ladies who "tingle, skeem, an' dance."
+
+No. 66. A clergyman of astonishing pertinacity, having tired out a large
+congregation long before he had reached his tenthly, stopped to take
+breath and wipe the sweat from his forehead, and was just beginning
+afresh, when a little miss, just under the pulpit, exclaimed, "O mother!
+he aint a-goin' to stop at all! he is a-swellin' up again."
+
+No. 67. A fine manly little fellow of five years tumbled on the
+door-step and cut his upper lip, so that a surgeon had to sew it up. He
+sat in his mother's lap during the operation, pale and speechless,
+though large tears gathered in his eyes, and seemed just ready to fall.
+"O dear!" said she, as the doctor finished off, "I'm afraid it will
+leave a bad scar." "Never mind," said Charley, patting her on the cheek,
+"never mind, mother, darling, my mustache will cover it!"
+
+There's a hero for you. How much better than Nelson's "Kiss me, Hardy."
+
+No. 68. A boy who was warmly praised for not having once taken his eyes
+off the preacher, answered, in the honesty of his little heart, "O, I
+only wanted to see how near he was to the end."
+
+No. 69. A Sandusky mother--was she a gipsy?--so runs the little story,
+was reproving her three-year-old perplexity for eating icicles. "I
+didn't eat 'em, mamma," said he, "I only sucked the juice out of 'em."
+Worthy of any bar on earth, and of almost any special pleader in
+politics or law, metaphysics or political economy.
+
+No. 70. "The little darling! It didn't strike neighbor Smith's poor
+little baby a-purpose, did he? It was a mere accident, wasn't it, dear?"
+"Yes, mamma, to be sure it was, an' if he don't behave himself an' stop
+makin' mouths at me, I'll crack him again."
+
+No. 71. "Well Susie, how do you like your school?" "O, ever so much,
+papa." "That's right, Susie. And now tell me what you have learned
+to-day?" "Well, papa, I've learned the names of all the little boys."
+
+And what more would you have? though the young lady were at a
+boarding-school, and learning the polka, and the waltz, or the
+schottische?
+
+No. 72. "I say, my fine fellow, where's this road go to?" "It hain't ben
+nowhere sence we've lived in these parts." A legal question put to a
+witness on the stand, legally answered--hey?
+
+No. 73. "I do wish you would behave!" said a boy to his little sister,
+in a fit of impatience. "Don't speak so to your sister," said mamma,
+"she is a good little girl on the whole." "I don't see where the _good_
+comes in," he replied. "It comes in right after the _a_," said the
+little bepraised. Wasn't she smart?--or "just as cunnin' as she _could_
+be?"
+
+No. 74. "What did you use to do, mamma, before you was married?" asked a
+little cherub, not four years old. "Well, my dear, I had a very good
+time, generally." "A good time!" he exclaimed with a look of
+astonishment, "what! without me?" Such babies will never allow
+themselves to be undervalued, even to the last. They _will be missed_,
+if they are not _mastered_. Not so bad--hey?
+
+No. 75. A gentlewoman--I hate ladies--belonging to Gardiner, Maine, paid
+a visit to the graveyard with her little daughter. Seeing the effigy of
+a horse on one of the upright slabs, she stooped down to read the
+inscription, but nothing did she find to explain the mystery; whereupon
+the child whispered, that "maybe the poor man died of _nightmare_." A
+very plausible conjecture, was it not, for a region where so many live
+and die of the same ailment? now under the name of apoplexy, and now
+under that of the heart disease, or plethora?
+
+No. 76. A little creature, under three years of age, on being told that
+she was too little to have a muff, asked, with a bright flush over her
+whole face, "Am I too little to be cold?" Another, on being refused
+admission to the church, upon the ground that she was too young, asked
+if she was too young to sin and be sorry for it?
+
+No. 77. Another three-year-old, on returning from her first visit to
+church, asked for a cup of water, that she might christen her doll, just
+as the preacher did the baby. And why not--if mother had failed to
+enlighten her upon the subject of infant baptism?
+
+No. 78. Two little girls, both under six, were overheard in conversation
+about their neighbors. "Emma," said one of them, "wouldn't it be awful
+if somebody should up and shoot our school-mistress?" "Yes indeed," was
+the reply; "but then, wouldn't it be nice not to have any school?"
+
+No. 79. A little boy once asked a godly minister, "Do you think my
+father will go to heaven?" "Yes," replied the minister. "Well then, _I_
+tell _you_, if he can't have his own way there, he won't stay long, you
+bet."
+
+No. 80. _Tit for Tat._--The family were at dinner. The conversation
+turned upon a trip to the islands, about to take place. A clergyman
+spoke to the little one, and after some bantering, asked her if she
+could say the alphabet backward. "No sir," said she, wondering what
+next, as the tadpole did when his tail dropped off. "Then," said he,
+"you can't go to the islands." After looking very thoughtful for a few
+moments, she asked, "Can you say the Lord's Prayer backward?" "No, my
+dear." "Then," said she, "you can't go to heaven." Was not the inference
+honest and fair, granting the premises?
+
+No. 81. A little blue-eyed maiden, who was romping with her fifth
+Christmas doll, and listening to some conversation about unhappy
+marriages, incompatibilities of temper, and the Chicago recipe for
+unmarrying, turned to her mother and said, "Well, ma, I'm never going to
+marry. I'm going to be a widow." The dear little chatterbox! If she
+could only have kept her own counsel a few years longer. How many are
+there who would like being widows, without going through the form of
+marriage? but then, they'll never say so, for widows have their
+privileges, and privileges, too, that wives have not.
+
+No. 82. And here we have something out of the common way, well vouched
+for, and thoroughly safe to be repeated. A little boy of only eight
+years, a son of Mr. Elias Bates, drove to the Agricultural Fair in
+Medford, Mass., a pair of black calves, which were so perfectly trained
+as to draw a little blue wagon, which had been got up for the occasion.
+The little fellow--and this, probably, will be thought the best part of
+the story by most of our young readers,--was furnished with _scrip_ from
+the wallets of the bystanders to the amount of nobody knows how many
+dollars; enough, at any rate, to nearly fill his cap. Whereat, says the
+narrator, he was so entirely overcome with surprise and joy, that he
+cried, and laughed, tried to talk, and then fairly broke down, and took
+to his heels, and ran away, as if the dogs were after him.
+
+No. 83. Lilly and Nina had prepared a doll's breakfast, and arrayed it
+on a side-board, while they went to take a romp in the garden. Master
+Bob, their little brother, clambered up the side-board and began
+gobbling the dainties, as boys will do, you know, whatever may be their
+age. "Why, Bobby!" said his mother, looking in at the open door, "what
+_are_ you doing there?" "Playin' pussy, mamma."
+
+No. 84. At a country fair in New Jersey, not long ago, a little boy who
+was running about, like a distracted thing, and bawling as if he would
+split his throat, was asked what was the matter. "I want my mammy," said
+he, "that's what's the matter! Didn't I tell the darned thing she'd lose
+me?"
+
+No. 85. A little four-year-old went to church in Bridgeport,
+Connecticut, last summer. On getting home, her mother asked her if she
+remembered the text. "O yes, mamma; it was this: 'The Ladies Sewing
+Circle will meet at Mrs. So-and-so's house, on Monday afternoon.'" A
+capital text, whatever may have been the sermon.
+
+No. 86. A Boston boy, five years of age, and a type of many now
+flourishing there, if not a type of that class who are to be the
+gold-brokers of hereafter, at least a representative boy of the shrewd
+and calculating, now on their way up in the cashier-business, which so
+often ends of late in there being neither cash-_here_ nor cash-_there_
+for stockholders, having stolen, or appropriated, a can of milk, was
+taken solemnly to task for the misdemeanor by his loving mother. "What
+on earth were you going to do with the milk?" said she. "O, I was going
+to steal a little puppy to drink it," was the reply. Perfectly
+satisfactory, no doubt, like certifying checks by the handful, and
+appropriating, or _conveying_, the gold of widows and orphans by the
+wheelbarrow-load into a friend's pocket, or in speculating where what
+you gain is yours, and what you lose, another's.
+
+No. 87. A clergyman asked some children why we say Our Father _who art
+in Heaven_, since God is everywhere? A little drummer-boy, who stood
+afar off, looked as if he understood the question. "Well, my little
+soldier, what have you to say?" "Because it's head-quarters," he
+replied.
+
+No. 88. "A little nephew of ours," says a contributor, "went with his
+sister to school not long ago, for the first time. They kept him there
+five mortal hours, with a short recess, which he did not know how to
+take advantage of. On being asked how he enjoyed the school, he
+answered, 'Petty well, I tank you, but I dut awfully _rested_.'"
+
+No. 89. _A Specimen of Childish Faith, which, if not dwarfed nor
+blighted, would be enough--almost--to move Mountains, after getting its
+growth._--Two little girls, one nine and the other eleven, on getting up
+one morning, had a trial to see which would get dressed first. Little
+Sue was the winner; and turning to her sister, with the triumphant air
+of a victor at the Olympian games, she said, "I knew I should beat you,
+Sissy; for I asked God to help me, _and I knew He would_."
+
+No. 90. A fine-looking, saucy, high-spirited girl of ten, bought of a
+fashionable shoe-maker a pair of warranted boots. They broke out with
+one day's wear. She carried them back to him. After turning them over,
+inside and out, awhile, he said, "They were not taken in quite enough, I
+see." "No," she replied, "but I was."
+
+No. 91. A promising little chap having heard it stated confidentially
+that a neighbor was married, and that she had a little boy and girl,
+stowed the fact away for future use; and not long after reproduced it in
+a large company of ladies and gentlemen, after this fashion: "Miss
+M----, I tink our tortus-shell tat's ben dittin married--she's dut
+tittens." But tortoise-shell cats don't have kittens--at least, not of
+themselves, if by proxy; but _qui facit per alium facit per se_, as the
+lawyers say; and the little boy may have misunderstood the symptoms.
+
+No. 92. Charley, the other day, on seeing three or four funerals in
+swift succession, expressed a wish that he might die "before Heaven was
+too full."
+
+No. 93. A mother, out a-shopping with her little girl and boy, bought
+him a rubber balloon, which escaped while he was playing with it, and
+went off up into the sky. Sissy, on seeing the tears in his eyes, and
+his quivering chin, said, "Never mind, Neddy--when you dies and dose to
+Heaben, you'll dit it."
+
+No. 94. A Bible-class had been called upon for the names of the precious
+stones mentioned in the Scriptures. After the question had gone through
+the class, one little fellow held up his hand. "Well, Tommy," said the
+teacher, "what precious stone have you found?" "Brimthtone, thir!"
+
+No. 95. This beautiful anecdote must be given in the very words of the
+narrator: "A lady visiting New York, found a ragged, cold, and hungry
+child gazing wistfully at some cakes in a shop window. She took the
+little forlorn thing by the hand, led her into the shop, bought her a
+cake, and then led her away, and supplied her other wants. The grateful
+little creature looked her full in the face, and whispered, '_Are you
+God's wife?_'"
+
+No. 96. A fashionable woman called upon a dentist to have some teeth
+filled, taking with her a little niece. Among these were two front
+incisors, which were filled on the lower edge. In a pleasant mood, when
+everything went well with Aunty, glimpses of the gold were occasionally
+seen. "O Aunt Mary," said the child, "how I should like to have
+copper-toed teeth, like yours!"
+
+And this reminds me of a little boy, whose father was bald-headed. One
+day he was sent to have his hair cut. "How would you like to have it
+cut, my little man?" said the artist. "Like papa's, with a hole in the
+top," said he,--perhaps to see through.
+
+No. 97. Master Jimmy was standing on his father's steps, in broad
+daylight, smoking a cigar. "Why, Jim," said a neighbor, who was hurrying
+by, "when did you learn to smoke?" "O," says the boy--"when I was a
+little fellow!"
+
+No. 98. "Papa," said a small urchin with a mischievous eye--"I say,
+papa, ought the master to flog a fellar for what he didn't do?"
+"Certainly not, my boy." "Well, then, he flogged me to-day when I didn't
+do my sum." And there he had him!
+
+No. 99. And this, too, is vouched for--though not by me: A little girl,
+about five years old, heard a preacher vociferating in prayer till the
+roof rang again. "Mother," said the little one, "don't you think, if he
+lived nearer to God, he wouldn't have to pray so loud?" Maybe she had
+been told about the priests of Baal, and their shouting before the
+Hebrew prophet, who mocked them.
+
+No. 100. Bishop Simpson, they say, in a lecture delivered at Boston, had
+the courage to say, that in two or three years, at furthest, Chinese
+servants would be common there. Next morning the father happened to
+mention it. "O, pa," whispered Minnie, "won't it be nice! we shall have
+a Chinese servant, and she will eat all the rats, and so we sha'n't have
+to keep a cat!"
+
+No. 101. A youngster, who had been playing in a mud-puddle till his
+rubber boots were full of the dirty water, came home at last to report
+progress, and ask leave to sit again. But his mother, with an eye to
+doctor's bills, and a whooping-cough, or scarlet fever, said No; and the
+child was kept in the house all day, till he could bear it no longer.
+"O mamma!" said he, at last, "please whip me, and let me go out
+again--_do_." It seems that he had outwaded all the rest of the boys,
+without going much beyond his depth.
+
+No. 102. Children are wonders. No matter how well acquainted with them
+we may be, they are always taking us off our feet. A pious woman heard a
+child, as she thought, say--and the child, too, of godly parents--"Dam
+it to hell--who buys?"--having a basket on his arm, containing she knew
+not what, so shocked was she. On reporting the case at head-quarters,
+the affair was investigated, and it turned out that the poor little
+fellow had a bushel of damsons, which he made believe hawk round, after
+the fashion of small dealers who cry their wares in the street. What he
+tried to say was, "Damsons to sell--who buys?"
+
+No. 103. "How many sisters did you say, my dear?" "Only one beside
+myself." "And how many brothers?" "None at all." "What! no brother!" "No
+sir; mamma don't _approve_ of boys." That's a fact.
+
+No. 104. A little nigger-boy at the South had just been equipped with a
+new suit of clothes, the first he ever had in his life, you may be sure.
+Next morning he appeared with one leg of the trousers ripped up from
+shoe to waistband. On being asked how it happened, he answered, "Please
+ma'am, I wanted to hear it _flop_!"
+
+No. 105. Another little boy, while playing by himself on the carpet,
+burst out with a ringing laugh. On being questioned, it turned out that
+he had taken off the tail of a little toy pony, and stuck it into the
+pony's mouth. "Papa," said he, "do Dod see everything?" "Yes, my boy."
+"Well, then, I dess Dod will laugh, when He sees my pony."
+
+No. 106. "I have somewhere met with a story," says a pleasant, gossiping
+observer, "about a man who went, one dark night, to steal corn from his
+neighbor's patch. He had taken his little boy with him to keep watch.
+The man jumped over the fence with a large bag on his arm; but before he
+began to fill it, he stopped and looked about on all sides, and, not
+seeing anybody, was just going to work, when his little boy cried out,
+'Oh, father, father! there is one way you haven't looked yet!'
+
+"The old man was rather startled, and asked what he meant.
+
+"'Why,' said the little one, 'you forgot _to look up_.'
+
+"The father was silent--thunder-struck--as if he had been admonished by
+a little guardian angel: he went back to the fence, took his little boy
+by the hand, and hurried away without the corn."
+
+No. 107. A mother was reading to her child, a boy of seven, about
+another little boy whose father had lately died, leaving the family
+destitute, whereupon the boy went to work for himself, and managed to
+support them all.
+
+"Now, my little man," said mother, after she had finished the story, "if
+papa should be taken away, wouldn't you like to help your poor mother
+and your little sisters?"
+
+"Why, ma--what for? Ain't we got a good house to live in?"
+
+"O yes, my child; but we couldn't eat the house, you know."
+
+"Well--ain't we got flour and sugar, and other things in the
+store-room?"
+
+"Certainly, my dear; but they wouldn't last long--and what then?"
+
+"Well--ain't there enough to last, till you could get another husband?"
+
+Mamma _dried up_--just as the boy had _slopped over_.
+
+No. 108. A mother had been telling her little girl about the blessings
+above. "But will mamma be there too?" asked the child.
+
+"Yes; you and I, and little brother, and papa." "O no, mamma," said
+she--"papa can't go; papa can't leave the store."
+
+No. 109. A little four-year-old, living just out of New York, was saying
+the Lord's Prayer at his mother's knee. After he had finished, she said
+to him--
+
+"Now, Sandy, ask God to make you a good boy."
+
+The child hesitated, grew thoughtful, and, after a few minutes, looked
+up and whispered--
+
+"It's no use, mamma--He won't do it, I tell you; I've asked Him ever so
+many times."
+
+No. 110. A little girl, the daughter of a Brooklyn wife, had been
+listening to an argument about the occupations above, and the great
+Hereafter. Turning suddenly to her aunt, she asked what people found to
+do after they went to Heaven. Her aunt, being taken by surprise,
+answered, "O, they play on golden harps." "What--all the time!"
+"Yes--all the time, dear." "Then," said the child, "I don't want to go
+there--I should be _so_ tired; and, what is more, I don't like the
+music."
+
+No. 111. "Is it still raining, my dear?" said a mother to her child of
+only three, at Jamaica, L. I. The child, after looking out of the
+window, turned to her mother and said, "No, mamma, it ain't a-rainin'
+now, but the trees is leakin'." The same child, having a habit of
+putting pins in her mouth, was anxiously watched. Whenever she was very
+still, they knew she was in some mischief. The other day, on seeing her
+stand at the bureau in perfect silence, her mother began to have her
+suspicions. "Mary," said she, "you are playing with pins, I'm afraid; I
+hope you haven't got any in your mouth." "I ain't dut any in my mouth
+now," she said; "but I bin playin' pins is meat."
+
+No. 112. One round more, and I throw up the sponge. The same little wee
+thing--a granddaughter of my own, by the way, and the first of the
+series--mentioned in No. 10, who spelled _pigeon_ with _Q. U. A. I. L._,
+and pronounced it _fidget_, was looking at a hive, in a book for babies.
+"O," she shouted--"O, grandpa, I know what them is! They's the honeys,
+and when they go away, I mean to steal their _porridge_." N. B.--She had
+always called honey porridge.
+
+No. 113. Once--and I give this for a fine illustration of the total
+depravity we hear so much of--I had a pleasant specimen of the inward
+working of that self-reproach we are all tried with sometimes, in this
+way: Miss Nellie seemed shy of me one morning, when she came into the
+breakfast room. Instead of running up to grandpa with a kiss upon her
+little red lips, she kept aloof, and went wandering about beyond my
+reach, with her eyes fastened on me all the time. At last, unable to
+bear it longer, she whimpered, "Oo needn't look at me so, grandpa; I ony
+toot one tawbelly."
+
+No. 114. "High, there, high!" said Grandfather Hall to my little
+boy--the first we had. "You don't know where you are." "Yes I do,
+grandpa." "Well, where are you?" "I'm here," was the reply.
+
+No. 115. _Analogy._--"What the plague is that?" said a father to his
+little boy, as a dog ran past them with a muzzle over his head. "Well, I
+guess it's a little _hoop-skirt_," said the boy.
+
+No. 116. _Prepare to Pucker!_--A little four-year-old chap had been
+trying a long while to pucker his mouth into shape, for whistling a
+national tune, which he had just heard upon the street. At last he gave
+it up, and went to his mother with tears in his eyes, exclaiming, "Ma,
+I's so little I tan't make a hole big enough for Yankee Doolum to dit
+out."
+
+No. 117. _Disinterested Advice._--"Mammy" said another little fellow,
+just big enough to gobble dough-nuts, and relish mud-pies and lollipop,
+who had been set to rocking the cradle of his baby brother, of whom he
+professed to be very fond--_very_--"Mammy! if the Lord's got any more
+babies to give away, don't you take 'em."
+
+No. 118. _Rather a Paradox._--"What is conscience?" asked a
+sabbath-school teacher. "An inward monitor," was the reply of a smart
+little fellow, not large enough to spell ratiocination with safety. "And
+what is a monitor?" "One of the iron-clads." Ergo.
+
+No. 119. _The Reason why._--A boy of nine, having a motherly hen with a
+large brood of chickens to watch, undertook to satisfy his mother that
+he would rather be a chicken than a boy--chickens were so much happier.
+The mother was obstinate, and so was the boy; but the next day he
+happened to come across a copy of "Don Quixote," with which he was so
+carried away, that he ran off to his mother to tell her that, on the
+whole, "he guessed he'd rather be a boy than a chicken;" for, "if I was
+a chicken," said he, "I couldn't read 'Don Quixote.'"
+
+No. 120. _Retribution._--A little four-year-old shaver, living on
+Munjoy, had picked up some naughty words--nobody knew where. But his
+mother, to cure him, was in the habit of touching the tip of his tongue
+with a little black pepper, until he seemed to have abandoned the
+practice. Only last week, however, the Old Adam broke out afresh, and
+he ran off to his mother, saying, "Dod dam it! Dod dam it! Now dit your
+pepper-bots!" and then rushed to the table and grabbed the box, and
+turned it up for the prescribed allowance; but the cover came off--as
+might have been expected--filling his mouth, so that he could neither
+speak nor breathe for awhile, and looked upon it as a judgment, and has
+now left off swearing--for the present.
+
+No. 121. _Influence of Example._--"I've done it, mamma! I've done it!"
+screamed a little three-year-old tantrybogus, from the top of the cellar
+stairs, to his mother, who had just left the kitchen for a few minutes.
+"Tum and tee, mamma!" And sure enough, he had _done it_! having upset a
+basket of eggs, and smashed them all, one after another, in a sort of
+ecstacy. His mother had been preparing for a batch of cake, and he had
+been delighted with her treatment of the eggs.
+
+No. 122. _Appropriate Language._--"Auntie," said another little
+three-year-old, one day--"Auntie, I don't lite mine apons tarched so
+drefful. So much tarchess makes the tiffness tratch my--bareness."
+
+No. 123. _After-thoughts._--Master Frank was in the habit of tumbling
+out of bed o' nights, and his father would call him to account for it
+next morning. One day he said, "Well, Frank, and so you tumbled out of
+bed again?" "No I didn't, papa--it was the pillow; for I went up to see,
+and the pillow was on the floor, by the bed-side." "What made you cry,
+then, my boy?" "Well, you see, it was so dark, papa, I couldn't tell at
+first whether 'twas me or the pillow."
+
+No. 124. _Baby Theologians._--A child in the sabbath-school, on being
+asked if he could mention a place where God was not, answered, "He is
+not in the thoughts of the wicked."
+
+Another, when told that God was everywhere, asked, "In this room?"
+"Yes." "In the closet?" "Yes." "In the drawers of my desk?"
+"Yes--everywhere--He's in your pocket now." "No He ain't, though." "And
+why not?" "Tauth, I ain't dut no pottet."
+
+No. 125. _A great Mystery._--"There is a little girl in Kentucky," says
+a respectable paper, judging by appearances, "who has never spoken to
+her father. She talks freely with anybody else, but when her father
+speaks to her, she is speechless. They have whipped her, again and
+again, but to no purpose; for she declares, with trembling lips, and
+with tears in her eyes, that she has often tried to speak to him, but
+could not."
+
+No. 126. _Childish Metaphysics._--A grandson of the governor of
+Virginia, a child of only four or five summers, was on a visit, not long
+ago, to his maternal grandfather, a large landholder in Ohio. One day,
+after a first visit to the sabbath-school, he led his grandfather down
+to a magnificent tree, heavily laden with walnuts.
+
+"Grandpa," said he, "whom do all these woods and fields belong to?"--of
+course the child said _who_, instead of _whom_; but that is neither here
+nor there.
+
+"They belong to me, Charley."
+
+"No, sir--_no!_--they belong to God."
+
+The grandfather said nothing, till they reached the tree.
+
+"Well, my boy, whom does this tree belong to?" he asked, as they stopped
+underneath its wide, heavy branches.
+
+For a moment, Charley hesitated; and then, looking up into the tree, he
+said, while his mouth watered visibly, "Well, gran'father, the tree
+belongs to God, but the walnuts are _ours_."
+
+No. 127. "_A touch of Nature makes the whole world kin._"--A little
+boy, who had been tormented by clouds of mosquitoes till he could bear
+it no longer, exclaimed, "O dear me! O dear me! I do wish God would kill
+the mosquitoes! I don't know what I would give Him, if He only would."
+
+No. 128. _An Etymologist._--A Connecticut boy insisted on knowing what
+was meant by the slang phrase, "a gone sucker"; and was overheard
+praying soon after, on being sent off to bed--"God bless papa and mamma,
+and baby; but I'se been such a bad boy, I rather guess I'm _a gone
+sucker_."
+
+No. 129. "How old are you, my dear?" said a railroad conductor to a
+little gentlewoman, whose mother was trying to pass with a half ticket.
+"I'm nine at home," was the reply, "but in the cars I'm only half-past
+six."
+
+No. 130. _A fair Inference._--Dear little Mamie H., who had just got
+over her sixth birthday, was studying her sabbath-school lesson, when
+her mother told her, in reply to some question she had urged with a deal
+of earnestness, that the naughty devil was black. "Well, then, mamma,"
+said the child, "if he was a good devil, I s'pose he'd be white."
+
+No. 131. _Grandchildren on their Good Behavior._--Bishop, to Nellie
+peeping through the side-lights, with a big tom-cat in her arms. "Come
+and see me, Nellie."
+
+"No--I tan't."
+
+_Bishop._--"Come come, and bring the cat with you; I want to see her."
+
+"No, no! Tommy don't like Bishops."
+
+No. 132. _A Baby Spendthrift._--"I say, Bobby," said one little
+youngster to another, "lend me two cents, will yer? I got up so early,
+that I spent all my money 'fore breakfast."
+
+"More fool you."
+
+"Wal!--how should I know the day was goin' to be so long?"
+
+No. 133. _A Maxim well applied._--"Never put off till to-morrow, my dear
+boy, what you can do to-day," said a watchful mother to her inquiring
+son. "Yes, mamma, and so we'll have the raspberry-pie now, that's put
+away for to-morrow--shan't we, mamma?"
+
+No. 134. _A fair Inference._--At a sabbath-school concert in a crowded
+and popular church, the pastor, who prided himself on the quickness and
+cleverness of his little ones, said, "Boys, when I heard your beautiful
+songs to-night, I had to work hard to keep my feet still; now what do
+you think was the trouble with them?" "_Chilblainth!_" shouted a little
+chap of six, or thereabouts.
+
+No. 135. _A timely Rebuke._--A bright-eyed little fellow, in one of the
+Brooklyn private-schools, having spelt a word, was asked by his teacher,
+"Are you willing to bet you're right, Bennie?" The boy looked up with
+an air of astonishment, and replied, "I _know_ I'm right, Miss V----,
+but I never bet."
+
+No. 136. _A dangerous Query._--A pupil was asked what S double E spelt.
+Being rather slow with his answer, the teacher grew impatient, and
+exclaimed, "You dunce! What is it I do with my eyes?" "O', I know the
+word now, ma'am--S double E, _squint_."
+
+No. 137. _Constructiveness._--The Springfield Republican tells of a
+young gentleman who doesn't want to be the last angel God makes, because
+"he wants to see how He makes 'em."
+
+No. 138. _Imitation._--A little girl at Keokuk, Iowa, was lately found
+in a barn giving trapeze performances to quite a gathering of wee folks.
+They had fitted up a trapeze, with an old clothes-line and a
+broomstick, at an elevation of twenty feet. "The party was broken up,"
+says a spectator, "before anything else was broken."
+
+No. 139. _The Tables turned._--"Are you talking to me, sir?" said a
+respectable man to a little scapegrace, who had been holding what he
+called an argument with his papa; "I'm your father, sir. Remember that,
+sir!"
+
+"Well, who's to blame for that, I should like to know--'taint me," said
+the boy.
+
+No. 140. _Language._--A bright, clear-eyed little thing of three
+summers, after listening demurely to a chapter of the Old Testament,
+which her father read to the family aloud one pleasant Sabbath, looked
+up with the air of one who felt called upon to say something, in the
+dead silence that followed, and whispered, "Papa, ain't God a funny
+fellow?" What knew that child of irreverence? What she meant to say was
+that she had been delighted.
+
+No. 141. _A new Paraphrase._--A father, who always insisted upon his
+children giving their version of what they heard, in their own language,
+to show that they understood it, asked Charlie to repeat the text which
+they had been listening to.
+
+Charlie hesitated awhile, and then, as if it had come to him all at
+once, broke out with, "What are you loafing round here for, doin'
+nothing? Go into my barn-yard, and go to work, and I'll make it all
+right with you."
+
+The text was, "Why stand ye here all the day idle? Go into the vineyard
+and work, and whatsoever is right, I will pay thee." Who will venture to
+say that the poor child did not understand the meaning?
+
+No. 142. _The Darlings._--"Mamma!" shouted Lollipop, "make Bobby 'have
+himself; every time I hit him with the whap-stick he hollars out."
+
+No. 143. Another child was once heard calling out from the head of the
+stairs to her mamma, that nurse "wouldn't _quiet_ her."
+
+No. 144. _Tit for Tat._--Another wee thing, after complaining of her
+teacher, said, with a tap of her little foot, and a something between a
+sob and a whimper, she did "wish Miss Maria would go to school to
+herself awhile, that she might see how she liked it."
+
+No. 145. _A fair Inference._--A little boy and girl had been repeatedly
+cautioned not to take the nest-egg, when foraging in the hay-mow, and
+along by the fences; but one evening, little Sis found her way to the
+nest, rather in advance of Bubby, and snatching the egg, off she started
+for the house. Her brother followed, screaming, "Mother! mother! Susy's
+ben and got the egg the old hen measures by!"
+
+No. 146. _Another._--A little bit of a thing who had just got back from
+a party, was asked by her mamma how she had enjoyed herself. "O mamma!"
+said she, "I'm so full of happiness--I couldn't be no happier, without I
+was bigger." So reasoned Samuel Johnson. The quart pot and the pint may
+both be full; but the quart holds most.
+
+No. 147. _From Over-Sea._--A little five-year-old Parisian went to
+church with his mamma. Both began praying. "Mamma," whispered the little
+fellow, "I've said my prayer." "Say it over again, my dear." The child
+obeys, and whispers, "I have said it again, mamma," and gets the same
+answer; and so for the third time, the mother not liking to be hurried
+in her devotions. "But, mamma, I have said it over three times." "Say
+it again, my dear." "But, mamma--won't it be tedious for the good God to
+listen all the time to the same prayer? What if I say over the fable
+I've just learnt at school?"
+
+No. 148. _Definition of Faith._--A child was asked, "What is faith?"
+"Doing God's will and asking no questions," was her reply.
+
+_Another fair Inference._--"Lottie, dear," said a little visitor to her
+playfellow of three, "what makes our Kitty so cross?" "'Cause she's
+tuttin' her teef, I spec."
+
+No. 149. _And yet another._--A little thing in a sabbath-school was
+asked by her teacher "if she always said her prayers night and morning."
+"No, Miss, I don't." "Why, Mary! Are you not afraid to go to sleep in
+the dark, without asking God to take care of you, and watch over you
+till morning?" "No, Miss, I ain't--'cause I sleep in the middle."
+
+No. 150. _Did his Best._--A little chap had a dirty face, and his
+teacher told him to go and wash it. He went away, and after a few
+minutes came back, with the lower part of his countenance tolerably
+clean, while the upper part was dirty and wet.
+
+"Johnny," said the teacher, "why didn't you wash your face?"
+
+"I did wash it, sir," said Johnny.
+
+"You didn't wipe it all over, then?"
+
+"I did wipe it, as high up as my shirt would go."
+
+And this reminds me of a little boy who had been told never to go into
+the water without leave. One day he came home heated and tired, with his
+shirt on wrong side out. "You've been in a-swimming, Josie," said his
+mother. "No, mamma." "How came your shirt turned inside out, then?"
+"Wal," said Josie, after a moment's hesitation, "I rather guess it was
+when I got over that high fence, and turned a somerset, head first."
+
+No. 151. _A new Version._--A boy in our District School was reading a
+lesson from the Bible in that deliberate fashion so usual with chaps of
+six, and when he came to the passage, "Keep thy tongue from evil and thy
+lips from guile," he drawled out, with a decided emphasis,
+"Keep--thy--tongue from evil; and thy lips from--from--_girls_." Of
+course, there followed an explosion. "Job was an oyster-man; and the
+Lord, he shot him with four balls," if we may believe a new reading of
+what was intended for Scripture: "Somebody was an _austere_ man; and the
+Lord smote him with sore boils."
+
+No. 152. _Children and Fools are said to speak the Truth._--"Be you
+good?" said a little chap to Miss Bella M----, of the sabbath-school
+here.
+
+"O no!" was the becoming reply.
+
+"You ain't! well I knew you wasn't pretty, but I always thought you was
+good."
+
+No. 153. The following sweet lines are too good for abridgment, or
+paraphrase. I know not where they originated; nor who was the author.
+Was there ever anything more childlike and beautiful than "Mamma, God
+knows all the rest?"--or ever lines worthier of the text?
+
+           THE UNFINISHED PRAYER.
+
+    "Now I lay"--repeat it, darling;
+      'Lay me,' lisped the tiny lips
+    Of my daughter, kneeling, bending
+      O'er her folded finger-tips.
+
+    "Down to sleep"--'To sleep,' she murmured,
+      And the curly head dropped low;
+    "I pray the Lord"--I gently added,
+      You can say it all, I know.
+
+    "'Pray the Lord'--the word came faintly,
+      Fainter still--'My soul to keep;'
+    Then the tired head fairly nodded,
+      And the child was fast asleep.
+
+    "But the dewy eyes half opened
+      When I clasped her to my breast,
+    And the dear voice softly whispered,
+      'Mamma, God knows all the rest.'"
+
+
+No. 154. _Natural Language._--A youngster of only two and a half, who
+had often heard complaints in the family about pegs hurting the feet,
+stole up to his mother one day, with his fingers in his mouth, and said,
+"Mamma! O mamma! Me dut pegs tummin in my mouf, and dey hurts Billy." On
+further examination, he was found to be cutting no less than three
+little teeth.
+
+No. 155. _An embryo Theologian._--A little boy, disputing one day with
+his elder sister upon some Bible question, sung out, "I tell ye, it's
+true! for Ma says so; an' if Ma says so, it is so, if it ain't so." That
+boy's career is evident enough. Submission to authority, and sheer
+dogmatism, will be likely to overtop the pretensions of private
+judgment.
+
+No. 156. _Budding Subterfuges._--A little girl, belonging to Hartford,
+Connecticut, was called to account one day by her mother for killing
+flies. The amusement had become a serious occupation, and her dexterity
+in catching them was only to be matched by her astonishing aptitude in
+killing them. Her mother had begun to be frightened. "Mary, my love,"
+said she, "don't you know that God loves the little flies?"
+
+Mary stood for a few moments, lost in thought, her beautiful countenance
+growing sadder and sadder, as if her conscience had begun to testify
+against her in a whisper, just as poor Herod's might have done, after
+the slaughter of _his_ innocents. At last, having apparently settled the
+question with herself, she stole up to the nearest window where a big
+blue-bottle was blundering and bumping about, and buzzing at a fearful
+rate. After watching it for several minutes, with a piteous expression,
+as if her heart were too full for speech, she began whispering just
+loud enough to be heard by her mother, "Do ee fy know dat Dod loves oo?
+Duz oo love Dod?"--stretching out her little hand as if to soothe its
+evident terror. "Duz oo? Duz oo want to zee Dod?--well," in a tone of
+the tenderest commiseration, putting her finger on the fly, and crushing
+it softly against the glass--"Well--oo sal!"
+
+No. 157. _A young Nero._--And this reminds me of something told me by
+General Fessenden, the father of all the general Fessendens we know of.
+"When I was a little fellow," said he, "not more than so high, the Old
+Adam within me (what we Phrenologists call Destructiveness, he meant)
+led me to pull off the wings of flies, and to impale them on pins, and
+set them buzzing at the end of a hair. My father, in passing one day,
+stopped long enough to catch me in the act. '_Nero!_' said he, and
+passed on. 'Well,' said I to myself, 'what did he mean by that?
+_Nero--Nero_--I'll ask somebody.' I did so--found out who Nero was, and
+from that day to this, have never tormented any of God's creatures! And
+yet, he was a lawyer, in large practice--and I believed him--that is, I
+believed him, till I knew better."
+
+No. 158. _Total Depravity._--"Do you say your prayers every day, my
+little man--every night and morning?" said a mother in Israel to a
+little reprobate of a shoe-black, to whom she had just given a trifle.
+"Yes 'm,--I alluz says 'em at night, mum; but any smart boy can alluz
+take care o' hisself in the daytime," was the reply.
+
+No. 159. _Infant Theology._--A visitor of large experience in
+sabbath-schools, asked the children at a crowded examination, "What was
+the sin of the Pharisees?" "Eatin' camels, ma'am," said one of the
+smartest, who had carried off many a prize. On further questioning, the
+child justified, by referring to the passage, where the Pharisees were
+said to strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel.
+
+No. 160. _Sabbath-school Exercise._--But an English gentlewoman once
+told me of something she herself had witnessed at a great London
+sabbath-school examination, where a celebrated questioner called out a
+little bright-eyed boy, by name, and asked him why Joseph refused to go
+to bed with Potiphar's wife, when she asked him. A dead silence
+followed, and then a look of amazement and consternation over all the
+house, like a cloud: "'Cause he wan't sleepy," said the boy. A dead
+silence followed; and then a most unseemly titter, on every side, so
+that the questioner's indiscretion seemed to be entirely lost sight of.
+
+No. 161. _Effectual Prayer._--A little boy in Jamaica went to the
+missionary, and told him that he had been very ill, and often wished for
+the minister to come and pray with him.
+
+"But, Thomas," said the missionary, "I hope you prayed for yourself?"
+
+"O yes, indeed!"
+
+"Well--and how did you pray?"
+
+"O, I jess begged."
+
+Another child in a Sunday-school, only six at most, said, "When we kneel
+down here in the school-room to pray, it seems to me as if my heart was
+talking with God."
+
+Another little girl, just turning four, on being questioned why she
+prayed to God, answered--
+
+"Because I know He hears me, and so I love to pray to Him."
+
+"But how do you know He hears you?"
+
+Putting her little hand upon her heart, she whispered, "O, I know He
+does, mamma, because there is something here that tells me so."
+
+No. 162. _Tit for Tat._--A pretty four-year-old midget went out to play
+on the sidewalk. When she returned with wet and muddy feet, showing that
+she had been somewhere else, her mother began to look serious; whereupon
+the child, anticipating the worst, murmured, with her head in her
+mother's lap, "Now, mamma, you be _dood_ to me, and I'll be _dood_ to
+you."
+
+No. 163. _A very proper Distinction._--A little thing, not quite old
+enough to understand her catechism, getting puzzled over the question,
+"Who made you?" went for the answer to her mother. Having been told that
+God made her, and all her little friends, and the whole human family,
+she lost no time in communicating the discovery to Daisy Dean, her doll
+of only one summer. Taking the little one on her knee, and looking very
+solemn, she said, "Now, Daisy Dean, look me right in the eyes: I want to
+tell 'oo somesin. Dod _made_ grampa--and gramma--and me--and papa and
+mamma; but----" after a pause, and shaking her head slowly and
+impressively--"_but_, Daisy Dean, Dod only _sewed_ you."
+
+No. 164. _Human Nature._--A boy of about five, a bagfull of bumble-bees
+at the best, when required to be still on the Sabbath, getting weary
+toward nightfall, went up to his father, who had no little of the
+Puritan mingled with his affection for the child, and said to him, with
+great seriousness,--"Come, pa, let's have some spiritual fun." This was
+a little too much for papa's gravity; and so he let him have it--for
+once.
+
+No. 165. _Courtesy._--"A Brooklyn friend, who believes in catechism, and
+teaches it with unflinching pertinacity, worthy of Calvin or Luther,"
+says somebody--"was putting one of four through his paces one day, when
+the question came up, 'Who tempted Eve?' The little fellow answered,
+after some consideration, with a look of triumph, pointing to the floor,
+'It's the gentleman that lives _down there_--I forget his name.'" For
+"_down there_," the reader is at liberty to substitute another phrase,
+if he happens not to be of the mealy-mouthed.
+
+No. 166. _Doll-Factory._--A preacher in the neighborhood of Lewiston had
+a little daughter, who had gone into the business of manufacturing paper
+dolls. In the midst of a sermon, lately, he drew out his
+pocket-handkerchief, in somewhat of a hurry, and lo! the whole air was
+filled with what seemed at first to be Japanese butterflies. When they
+settled, however, they were found to be paper dolls, about fifty in
+number, which had been stowed away in his pocket-handkerchief, by his
+little one, for safe keeping. The audience appeared to enjoy the rest of
+the sermon exceedingly.
+
+No. 167. _Undiluted Orthodoxy._--A little girl was much in the habit of
+reproving her dolls for misbehavior, and sometimes after a most alarming
+fashion. Her mother overheard her one day, while she was taking the
+prettiest to task for being so naughty: "O you naughty, sinful child,"
+said she, shaking the poor little waxen image, "you'll go to the lake of
+fire and brimstone, you will! and you won't burn up, like other
+babies--you'll only jest _sizzle_."
+
+No. 168. _Puzzling Questions._--A little boy, who had just been admitted
+to the sabbath-school, was greatly scandalized at finding, on his way
+home, an apothecary's shop in full blast at a neighboring corner. "But,
+my dear," said mamma, "the druggist is obliged to keep open Sunday, so
+that sick people may get medicine." "Why! do people get sick on Sunday?"
+"Yes, just as on any other day." "Well, good people don't die on Sunday,
+do they?" "Certainly." "Why, how can that be? Does heaven keep open
+Sunday?"
+
+No. 169. _Childish Faith._--The Portland Transcript knows of a little
+four-year-old, who, being out for a sail, was told by his mother that
+they were now on the sea. "On the sea, mamma! then who'll take care of
+us?" "God, my dear--He will take care of us." "O yes--I know--_he's one
+o' them kind_."
+
+No. 170. The same inquisitive chap could not understand how two boys who
+had died before he was born, could be his brothers. Mamma explained,
+that being her children they were his brothers, though God had taken
+them away to live with Him, before _he_ was born. He was very silent and
+thoughtful for a few moments, and then exclaimed, "_O yes, I see--I used
+to play with 'em up there in heaven, before I came down here._"
+
+No. 171. _The Boy and the Bobbylink._--A bird lighted on a twig near a
+little rugged-and-tough, hardly old enough to make himself understood.
+The child took up a stone to throw at him, after the fashion of older
+boys. Just then the little songster opened fire: "Bob-o'-link!
+bobbylink! won't you, will ye! will ye, won't you! I'll mend your
+breeches if you'll find the pieces--bobbylink!--link--link!" The boy's
+outstretched arm dropped slowly down to his side. "Why didn't you let
+fly, sonny?" said a stranger who had been watching him, and was not a
+little curious to see how the struggle would end. The boy shook his
+head, with a sorrowful air, but said nothing. "You might have killed him
+and carried him home," said the stranger.
+
+"I touldn't," said the little scapegrace.
+
+"Couldn't! and why not, pray?"
+
+"'_Cause he sung so._"
+
+No. 172. _Superfluities._--A youngster, on being taken to the window of
+a toy-shop where he saw a _papier mache_ mouse, which, on being wound
+up, ran hither and thither, and whisked about like a live mouse, turned
+away with ineffable contempt, saying, "O no, mamma, I don't want that!
+we've got lots of 'em at home, and don't have to wind 'em up, neither."
+
+No. 173. _Imitation!_--Two children of St. Louis were "playing butcher"
+not long ago. He who personated the ox doesn't go to school any more.
+One blow with a hatchet from a sturdy five-year-old, nearly split his
+head; but he bellowed so frightfully, as to alarm the neighborhood, and
+bring relief, just as the hatchet was lifted for another blow.
+
+No. 174. _Soliloquies._--A little six-year-old, while undressing one
+night, with his arms over his head tying his night-gown behind, was
+overheard saying to himself, "I can beat Tommy Tucker, I can; I can
+write my name in writin'; I can tell the time o' day by the clock, I can
+spell Nebuchadnezzar, yes--and what's more--I can tie a double
+bow-knot." There's a reasonable amount of self-complacency for you! He
+was made for an author, and may soon be getting up his autobiography.
+
+No. 175. Another little chap under four, while wading through a
+mud-puddle after a heavy shower, came across an angle-worm, and then
+fell into a reverie,--"Worms--they are the snakes' babies; little
+mices--they are the rats' babies; and the stars--they are the moon's
+babies--don't I know"--splash! splash!
+
+No. 176. _Capital definition of Happiness._--A six-year-old school-girl
+of Norwich, Connecticut, was asked for a definition of the word "happy."
+"O, it is to feel as if you wanted to give all your things to your
+little sister."
+
+No. 177. _A fair Inference._--"Mamma," said a promising chap of four
+summers, "if the people are all made of dust, ain't the colored folks
+made of coal-dust?"
+
+No. 178. _Not so bad._--A well-known, faithful teacher of Bridgeport,
+who has charge of an infant class in a Sunday-school there, reports the
+following case. Not long ago he was talking with them about the origin
+of Christmas:--
+
+"Where was Christ born?" he asked.
+
+"In Bethlehem."
+
+"Where is Bethlehem?"
+
+"In Judea."
+
+"Who first knew that Christ was born?"
+
+"His mother."
+
+No. 179. _As the Spirit moveth._--A little Quaker boy, about six years
+old, after sitting, like the rest of the congregation, in dead silence,
+all being afraid to speak first, as he thought, got up on the seat, and
+folding his arms over his breast, murmured, in a sweet, clear voice,
+just loud enough to be distinctly heard on the fore-seat, "I do wish the
+Lord would make us all gooder--and gooder--and gooder--till there is no
+bad left." Would a longer prayer have been more to the purpose?
+
+No. 180. _A Non Sequitur._--"What have you done with your doll, Amy?"
+"Lock it up, papa; doin' to teep it for my itty dirl, when I get big,
+jess like mamma." "Ah, but if you shouldn't have any little girl?"
+"Never mind, papa--then I'll dive it to my _g'an'chile_."
+
+No. 181. _A Young Protestant._--Not long ago, as a crowd of foreigners
+were presented to the Pope, a little American boy, between four and five
+years of age, was led up with the rest. The Pope seemed pleased with the
+bright-eyed little fellow, and lifted his foot somewhat higher than
+usual, that the boy might more conveniently kiss the cross embroidered
+upon the toe of his sandal. The boy did not seem to relish the
+proposition. Drawing himself up, he looked His Holiness full in the
+face, and said, with emphasis, "_No sir, I won't do it!_" The Americans
+and English who were present hardly knew which way to look; but the Pope
+only smiled good-humoredly, and exclaimed, _Americano_!
+
+The venerable man is said to be "very fond of children, and very
+indulgent," having none of his own, and no nephews or nieces, _to speak
+of_.
+
+Not long ago, the little son of an architect employed on certain
+alterations of St. Peter's Basilica, for a coming festival, was sent by
+the father to His Holiness, with drawings and specifications. The Pope
+was so much pleased with the plans, and with the sprightliness of the
+little messenger, that he led him to a secretary, opened a drawer full
+of gold pieces, and told him to help himself. "Holy Father," said the
+little scapegrace, "what if you take 'em and give 'em to me--your hand
+is bigger than mine." The Pope smiled, and took advantage of the
+suggestion. So says our "Parisian correspondent."
+
+No. 182. _Another Word for a Blow._--A little boy and girl were playing
+on the road-side among the clover-blossoms and butter-cups. The boy, who
+seemed about five, suddenly took offence, and gave his little playmate,
+who was still younger, a smart slap on the cheek. She turned away, and
+sat down in the long grass, and began to cry. At first, the poor boy
+seemed cross and sulky, as if determined to brave it out, but after a
+minute or two his beautiful eyes changed color, his mouth trembled, and
+he said, "I didn't mean to hurt you, Katy, darling--I am sorry." The
+little rosy face brightened up--the sobs were hushed. "Well, then, if
+you are sorry," said she, "_it don't hurt me_."
+
+No. 183. _Just as the Twig is bent, etc. etc._--In order to amuse the
+children of a sabbath-school, the teacher began reading to her class
+the story of David and Goliah; and coming to the passage where Goliah so
+boastingly dared the stripling shepherd-boy to enter the list, a little
+chap, newly breeched, up and said to her, "Skip that! skip that! He's
+blowin'--I want to know who licked."
+
+No. 184. And only yesterday the following illustration of my text
+happened in Fore-Street. Near Gorham's Corner, two little boys had set
+themselves in battle-array against a third, somewhat larger. They were
+all in petticoats, by the way. At last one of the two stepped a little
+in advance of his companion, and bending his arm like a prize-fighter,
+sung out, "D'ye see that! jess feel o' that air muscle!" The arm
+appeared about the size of a turkey's leg, while he was manipulating the
+biceps; and the countenance that of a trained pugilist. As the bigger
+boy stepped up to _feel that muscle_, the little fellow let fly, and
+sent him head over heels into the gutter, petticoats and all.
+
+No. 185. _The Gates Ajar._--"Our five-year-old," says a neighbor, "stood
+looking at the new moon a night or two ago. After a long and thoughtful
+pause, he turned to his mother and whispered, 'Mamma, O mamma! Dod has
+opened the door a little way.'"
+
+No. 186. _Inferential._--A mother, who had with her a little daughter,
+was examining the figure of a horse on a tomb-stone, and wondering what
+on earth it was an emblem of. There was nothing to explain it, in the
+inscription. "Mamma," said the little one, as they moved away, "I
+shouldn't wonder if she died of the _nightmare_."
+
+No. 187. _Capital!_--Just before Washington's birthday, in February
+last, a teacher, while notifying the class, and preparing them for the
+holiday, said something to the purpose, about the Father of his Country,
+and then put the question,--
+
+"Why should we celebrate Washington's birthday any more than _mine_?"
+
+"Because _he never told a lie_!" shouted a young whippersnapper near the
+door. But as he didn't vanish, probably he didn't mean it. He had only
+read Weems's "Life of Washington" to advantage, and didn't care who knew
+it.
+
+No. 188. _Save the Pieces!_--At Winchester, N.H., last winter, a girl of
+ten, the daughter of O. L. Howard, coasted over a bank twenty feet high,
+into the Ashuelot river. While on the way she was heard saying to
+herself, "I'm afraid I shall lose my sled!" But she didn't, and was none
+the worse for her ducking, though rather damp.
+
+No. 189. _Sublime._--A cowardly scamp, though fashionably dressed,
+having kicked a poor little newsboy, for trying to sell him a paper, the
+lad hove to, till another boy accosted the "gentleman," and then
+shouted, in the hearing of all the bystanders, "It's no use to try him,
+Joe--he can't read."
+
+No. 190. _Constructiveness._--The Belfast Journal renders an account of
+a young authoress in that neighborhood, who, at the age of nine, has
+written the opening chapter of a sensation story. Two of the characters
+are described as twins, one five, and the other six years old.
+
+No. 191. _Boston Notions._--The rector of a parish in Toledo, Ohio, was
+lately catechizing the children of his Sunday-school, and asked, "Where
+did the wise men come from?" "_From Boston!_" shouted a little wretch,
+at the top of his voice. Upon further inquiry, it was found that both
+father and mother were of the Bay-State faith.
+
+No. 192. _Timely Preparation._--The Lewiston Journal says that a little
+four-year-old, while standing by her teacher on examination-day, after
+having spelt cat, dog, ox, cow, and some other monosyllables, suddenly
+snatched at the teacher's watch-guard, and whispered, "Please, mayn't I
+be 'smissed after my class gets through readin', so 't I can run home
+an' get my hair _fizzled_ for the 'mittee?" Whereupon the teacher
+'smissed her.
+
+No. 193. _Conscience-money._--A Sunday-school teacher was in the habit
+of passing round the hat among the little folks, for missionary
+purposes. One day, he was thrown all aback, on finding a counterfeit
+shilling among the coppers. Diligent inquiry being had, the little
+reprobate, who was only expected to give a penny, but an honest penny,
+was found out. "Georgie," said the teacher, with great seriousness,
+"didn't you know it was good for nothing?" "To be sure I did," muttered
+the boy. "Then why did you put it into the box?" "Well, I didn't 'spose
+the little heathens would know the difference, and so I thought it would
+be just as good for them."
+
+No. 194. _Combativeness._--"Look here, mister!" sung out a lad of seven,
+who had been treed by a ferocious dog; "if you don't call that dog off,
+I'll eat up all your peaches!"
+
+No. 195. _Childish Faith._--A little fellow with his first pocket-knife,
+had it in use most of the time, for several days, occasionally lending
+it to his playmates, "just to whittle with." One evening, after he had
+been got ready for the night, and was kneeling by his mother's lap in
+his night-gown, he finished off the usual service of "Now I lay me,"
+with a "please God give little Jemmy Bailey a knife of his own, so't he
+won't have to borrow mine all the time."
+
+No. 196. _A Good Lesson for Mothers._--A bright-eyed, active little
+fellow, who in due time made his way up to the desk, used to beset his
+mother, in season and out of season, for a coat like his elder brothers,
+with pockets behind. To all his importunities, the reply was--"Don't be
+in a hurry; you are a little boy,--little boys don't wear such coats.
+When you get to be a man, you shall have a coat with pockets behind."
+After awhile the boy had to go to the springs for his health; but he
+shuddered and shrank away from the cold bath. "Why, Charley, you are a
+man--you shouldn't be afraid."
+
+"O yes, I understand," was the reply; "when I want pockets behind, I am
+only a little boy; and now that you want me to go in here--_now_, I am a
+man."
+
+No. 197. _Funeral Ceremonies._--The San Francisco correspondent of a
+Sacramento paper tells the following: "A little friend of ours found
+among the gifts of Santa Claus a plump little waxen-doll. She christened
+it Maud, and used to take it out for a walk, every pleasant morning. The
+other day, on seeing a rag of orange-colored merino pinned to a stick by
+the nursery-door, I peeped in at the children, but was immediately
+served with notice to quit, by Bobby, who seemed to be the doctor, or a
+health committee-man; for 'Maud was tooken dreadful bad with the
+small-pox, and the yeller flag was hung out--didn't I see it?' Soon
+after this, I heard a piteous wailing, with a sad attempt, and a sadder
+failure, to sing the sabbath-school hymn, 'Sister thou wast Mild and
+Lovely,' after which there was a little, crooked, undulating procession,
+Bobby carrying the dog and Floy the cat, wrapped in shawls, and as they
+slowly made their way up the hill, into the garden, I understood, from
+the dismal moaning and sobbing, and from the melancholy rags they bore,
+that the undertakers were 'performing' a funeral, poor Maud having died
+of the terrible visitation. I hurried up to the grave, in what I dare
+say passed for unseemly haste, but just in time to save the poor little
+wax baby from being buried alive, or, at least, in all her bewitching
+helplessness. Upon remonstrating, 'We'd ony sowed her up in a bag,'
+murmured Floy, 'and we would have undigged her.'"
+
+No. 198. _Glimpses of the sabbath-school._--"Gerty, my dear, you were a
+very good little girl to-day," said the teacher. "Yes'm--I couldn't help
+bein good; I got a tiff neck," said Gerty, with perfect seriousness.
+
+"_Who's that a-bearin'?_"--The solemnity of a fashionable church in
+Chicago was greatly disturbed, not long ago, by a little incident worth
+remembering. Somebody's three-year-old pet had been often amused at home
+with pretty good imitations of a bear, growling over his prey. While the
+congregation were singing, one of those predetermined, zealous
+worshippers, to be found everywhere, who cannot be persuaded to withhold
+their contributions in church, though they never dream of pitching a
+tune anywhere else, began a low, growling accompaniment, within two or
+three pews of the child, without regard for time or tune, though
+evidently to his own satisfaction, under an idea that he was singing
+base--instead of basely. The little one looked surprised, and turning
+suddenly to mamma, asked, in a voice loud enough to be heard by the
+whole congregation, just as a lull occurred in the stanza, "O mamma!
+mamma! who's that _a-bearin'_?"
+
+Will nobody take the hint? Let us have congregational singing by all
+means, instead of oratorios and operas, for church music--but no
+menagerie music, if _you_ please.
+
+No. 199. _A Plea in Bar._--"Come up here, you young reprobate, and take
+a sound spanking," said the teacher, out of all patience with a
+mischievous, quick-witted boy.
+
+"You ain't got no right to spank me, and the copy you've set for me says
+so."
+
+"Saucebox! Let me hear you read that copy; read it aloud, so that
+everybody can hear you."
+
+Whereupon the boy reads, like a trumpet, "'Let all the ends thou aimest
+at be thy country's!'"
+
+"Go to your seat, you young scapegrace."
+
+And he went.
+
+No. 200. _Foresight._--"Two cocoa-nuts for ten cents! hurrah!" shouted a
+little shaver to his playfellow across the street; "that'll make me
+sick to-morrow, and I shan't have to go to school--hurrah!"
+
+No. 201. _I wouldn't, would you?_--A three-year-old youngster saw a
+drunken fellow staggering through a crowded thoroughfare. "Mother," said
+he, "did God make that man?" "Yes, my dear." "Well," after considering a
+moment, "maybe He did, but I wouldn't have done it."
+
+No. 202. _A drop of Gold._--"Mother," said a little poet of four
+summers, "just hear the trees makin' music, for the leaves to dance by."
+
+No. 203. _Another!_--A little fellow was eating bread and milk, when he
+turned round to his mother and exclaimed, "O mother! I'm full of glory!
+There was a lot o' sunshine in my spoon, and I swallowed it!"
+
+No. 204. _Suggestive._--"She said she wouldn't let me go to her
+funeral, grandma; but you'll let me go to yours, grandma, won't
+you--there's a dear."
+
+No. 205. _Logical Inference._--A little boy of our neighborhood, with an
+eye as clear as a kitten's, had a dog named Caper. Dining with his
+grandmother not long ago, when they had boiled mutton, his attention was
+attracted by something he saw in the butter-boat. "What's them, gam'ma?"
+said he. "Capers, my dear." He looked puzzled--grew thoughtful--and
+watched the plates awhile, and then, having made up his mind, he came
+out with, "Please, gam'ma, I want some more o' them little dogs." Of
+course he had them.
+
+No. 206. _Classification._--"Who makes the laws of our government?"
+asked a committee-man of the class under review--a class of
+Lilliputians. "Congress." "And how is Congress divided?" A dead
+silence. At last a dear little thing, not more than so high, with a
+wonderful memory, threw up her hand, thereby signifying that she was
+ready to answer it. "Well," said the teacher, "what say you, Sallie? How
+are they divided?" "Into civilized, half-civilized, and savage," was the
+triumphant reply. If it be true, that the greater the truth the greater
+the libel, might not Miss Sallie be indicted? Congressional miscreants
+are getting so plentiful, just now, that children should be
+cautioned--or tongue-tied.
+
+No. 207. _Funny._--"There now!" said a little bit of a thing, while
+rummaging a drawer in a bureau, and turning the contents all
+topsy-turvy, of course; "there now! gran'pa has gone to heaven without
+his spectacles. Won't you take 'em with you, gramma, when you go?"
+
+No. 208. _A Natural Bonesetter._--A little fellow pitched head foremost
+from the top of a coal-bin, and put his shoulder out. A surgeon was sent
+for "about the quickest." No sooner had the messenger turned his back,
+than the boy went to work anew, notwithstanding the pain, and while
+climbing over the back of a chair, as if it were a ladder, he got
+another tumble, which frightened his poor mother so that she hadn't
+strength enough to scream. But lo! up jumped the young scapegrace, and
+began surveying his arm, and shouting, "It's all right, mother! it's all
+right!" And so it proved. The dislocation had been reduced with a snap,
+the joint was back in its place, and the young gentleman was ready for
+another demonstration.
+
+No. 209. _No you don't!_--Freddy, between three and four, and Willie,
+about five, were both extravagantly fond of milk, and always had a mug
+of the best, to top off with, at supper; but, being in the country the
+other day, they happened, for the first time in their lives, to see a
+girl milking. "There now, Willie," said the youngest, "you see that,
+don't you? I don't want any more milk after the cow's had it," averting
+his eyes from the operation as he spoke, with an expression of downright
+loathing. At supper, when their little mugs of milk were got ready for
+them, both refused to touch them. On being questioned, Freddy contented
+himself with saying that, for his part, he didn't want any milk after
+the cows had it--and there he stopped, as if unwilling to go farther.
+But Willie came out plump, with an account of the discovery made in the
+morning.
+
+Their mother saw that she had no time to lose; otherwise an
+unconquerable repugnance might be associated with their fondness for a
+wholesome diet, and so she told them how milk was made: that they did
+not have it from the cows at second-hand, but that when cows ate grass,
+and clean vegetables, and fruit, they were all changed into milk by a
+wonderful chemical process, like that which turns all our food to
+nourishment, giving us flesh and blood, bones and muscle, according to
+our growth. Willie seemed satisfied with the explanation, and went back
+to the little mug; but Freddy was not to be persuaded.
+
+After supper Willie took his brother aside into a corner, and was
+overheard expostulating with him, and saying, "It's all right now,
+Freddy, and you can go on drinking your milk, just as you always have.
+The cow eats grass, and that's what makes it. Now if the cow didn't eat
+the grass, you'd have to, you see. That's what the cow's for."
+
+Freddy went back to his milk without another word, as being, at the
+worst, somewhat more agreeable than eating grass.
+
+No. 210. _Little Pitchers have Big Ears._--A child, the son of a
+minister, sat on the floor playing with his blocks one afternoon, when
+two or three female parishioners dropped in for a dish of chat with
+mamma. The conversation, after a few moments, turned, very naturally, it
+may be supposed, on a floating scandal of the day. They had entirely
+forgotten the child; but all at once recollected themselves, and came to
+a sudden stop, and, looking at each other, tried to recall what had been
+said.
+
+There sat the little imp, busy with his playthings, and, as it appeared
+upon further inquiry, after the visitors had gone, without having
+understood a syllable of what had been said; but the lively chattering
+stopped so suddenly, he looked up, and then, turning over and rolling
+on the floor, as if unable to restrain himself, he sung out, "Go on! go
+right on! that's jess sech as I like to hear, every day!"
+
+No. 211. _A Hint for the Doctor._--A little four-year-old midget being
+in a bad way, was called upon to take a very nauseous medicine, and was
+sitting in a high chair, in her night-dress, when the cup was offered
+her. She shook her head with a piteous look, and then said, "No no--me
+tan't tate it so; but me'll tate it with soogar," and sent off the nurse
+for a lump. Whereupon her little brother rushed up to her, shouting,
+"Take it, Sallie! take it, while she's gone, Sallie, and cheat her! and
+then hide, Sallie--that's the way I do." And thereupon Miss Sallie
+gulped down the abominable mixture to the last dregs, without winking,
+only saying, "It choke Sallie," and then scrabbling down from the high
+chair, and scuttling away under the bed, with an occasional chuckle, and
+popping out her little curly head, her eyes dancing with joy, while
+waiting for the nurse to get back. When she appeared, she was welcomed
+with a shout of triumph by the youthful conspirators, Miss Sallie never
+dreaming for a moment that she had been bamboozled.
+
+No. 212. _The best of Reasons._--"Breakfasting with a physician the
+other day," says somebody, whose name does not appear in the record,
+"little Julia began to talk very earnestly, at the first pause in the
+conversation. Her father checked her, somewhat sharply, saying, 'Why is
+it that you always talk so much?' ''Tause I've dot somesin to say,' was
+the reply. The solemn papa was obliged to look another way, while the
+guests laughed outright."
+
+No. 213. _Discouraging._--A little boy named Knight, of the
+mission-school at New-London, was told by the teachers, one and all,
+that if he was good, he would go to heaven. The little fellow accepted
+the situation, and evidently did his best; but the next time he appeared
+in his place, he seemed downhearted. On being questioned by his teacher
+about the cause, and asked if he had been a good boy, he replied,
+"Yes--I've tried ever so hard to be good; but it's no use. The boys tell
+me I can't go to heaven, if I am ever so good." "And why not, pray?"
+"Because they tell me the Bible says there'll be no _Knight_ there."
+
+No. 214. _How to fix it._--Master Willie, a very good boy, as boys go,
+happened to begin going to school, just when the first snow fell, and a
+pretty new sled, with scarlet runners, had become his property. About
+school-time, therefore, he began to have _such_ terrible aches. But
+these would soon pass off, and then he would go off to slide. One
+morning he came to his mamma with a _drefful_ headache--and school had
+to be given up. "Very well, my dear," said she; "if you have such a
+terrible headache, you can stay at home this beautiful morning; but
+remember, you mustn't ask leave to go and slide, for I shall not
+consent--I tell you now." "Yes, mamma." But within the next half hour
+Willie came to her, saying his drefful headache was all gone, and would
+she let him go just this once. "No, Willie--you know what I said--you
+wouldn't have me tell a lie, would you?"
+
+Willie turned away somewhat discouraged; but after a few moments his
+little face brightened up, as with inward sunshine, and he stole up to
+his mother's knee, and whispered,--"No, mother! No, no! I don't want you
+to tell a lie; but couldn't you _just fix it_, you see, as you do when
+you put me to bed, and say you are not going out, and then go?"
+
+No. 215. _Excuse my Candor._--"What a fine head your little boy has!"
+said a propitiatory friend--a phrenologist, perhaps--to a doating
+father. "Ay, ay," said the delighted papa; "ay, ay, he's a chip of the
+old block, ain't you, sonny?" "I guess so," said the boy, "for teacher
+says I'm a little blockhead."
+
+No. 216. _One of the Upper Ten._--"Ma," said a little moppet, "if I
+should die and go to heaven, would I wear my moire antique?" "No,
+darling, we cannot suppose we shall carry the fashions of this world
+into the next." "Then, Ma, how would the little angels know I belonged
+to the best society?"
+
+No. 217. _Catching the Idea._--A little chap, on his return from church,
+one day, where he heard an organ for the first time in his life, said
+to his mother, "O, mammy, how I do wish you had been at church to-day,
+to see the fun. There was a man there pumping music out of an old
+cupboard."
+
+No. 218. _Rather embarrassing._--A young lady--all women are ladies, you
+know--wishing to impress upon her class in the sabbath-school the
+terrible effect of Nebuchadnezzar's punishment, assured them that for
+seven long years he ate grass _like a cow_. Up jumped a little boy with,
+"Please, ma'am, did he give milk?" It is said the answer was not
+forthcoming.
+
+No. 219. _Total Depravity again._--"O sister! sister!" said little
+Mattie, "if you would only let me swear once--only just once!" her heart
+being too full for utterance.
+
+No. 220. _A timely Suggestion._--Mamma was telling Master Freddy about
+the sacrifice, or intended sacrifice, of Isaac, and explaining the
+illustration which appeared in the old family Bible. There lay the boy,
+bound hand and foot, on the altar, with the faggots heaped about him,
+and the great sacrificial knife just ready to descend, and almost
+touching the nose of the ram. She was explaining, to the best of her
+knowledge and belief, the necessity of the sacrifice, and the
+providential appearance of the substitute, when Freddy, whose feelings
+had been worked up to concert pitch, exclaimed, "Sheepy, sheepy! why
+don't you grab the knife, and run?"
+
+No. 221. _Tenderness of Conscience._--"Dad--I say, dad--Nathan swored
+last first-day, I heard him," said the little son of Master Blair, a
+Scotch Quaker, I once knew. "Ah--an' what deed he say, mon?" "He said
+Old Scratch, an' I heard him."
+
+No. 222. _Beautiful--exceedingly!_--A little one was talking about
+home. "And where is your home, dear?" said a listener. Looking up into
+his mother's face with loving eyes, he whispered, "_Where mother is._"
+
+No. 223. _An embryo Metaphysician._--"What are you going to see,
+Sherwood?"
+
+"Nothing, gran'pa."
+
+"Nothing, my boy--how can you see nothing?"
+
+"Easy enough, gran'pa."
+
+"Where would you look for it?"
+
+"Down a well, gran'pa."
+
+"Isn't there something burning here?" said the mother of this boy one
+day, on coming into the room where he was at play, and sniffing as she
+spoke.
+
+"Yes, mamma," sniffing in reply.
+
+"Bless me--what is it?"
+
+"Coal, mamma."
+
+No. 224. _Influence of Example._--The little son of a friend in the
+army, had learned to curse heartily, whenever anything disturbed him;
+his father, of whom he had caught the trick, was ordered off, not long
+ago, to a distant part of the country. Being separated from his boy, and
+having had time for reflection, perhaps, he wrote home to his wife that
+he was sorry to hear how little Joe still continued to curse and swear.
+"Who told him?" said the boy. "He says a little bird told him," was the
+mother's reply. "D--n that bird!" exclaimed the little scapegrace. He
+was only six. While yet a baby, but just able to make himself
+understood, an Irish girl came rushing in to the mother one day, saying,
+"O ma'am! he keeps a-sayin' Jesus Christ, in the barn!"
+
+No. 225. _Retribution._--"Tell you what 'tis, I won't pray for you when
+I say my prayers, Willie," said a little thing to her playfellow in the
+next house; "and Jesus won't bless you, _and_"--after a little
+hesitation--"_and_--He shan't redeem you, neither!"
+
+No. 226. _A young Poet._--A little four-year-old, laboring to impress a
+sister with the prodigious quantity of something he had promised to give
+her, said, "You just turn the sky over and I'll fill it
+full--chock-full."
+
+No. 227. _Literalness._--"_I_ know!" said a little boy to whom his
+mother was reading that passage where the Lord is said to be walking in
+the garden in the cool of the day; "I know! Just as papa does, with his
+hands behind him, and an old coat on."
+
+No. 228. _Letting the delicious Secret out._--Soon after his mother's
+second marriage, a little shaver reached out his hand for another piece
+of sponge-cake. Step-father shakes his head, and says _No_, after a
+fashion that seems to admit of no appeal. "Well," says the boy, "I
+don't care--only we're sorry we ever married you;" and then, as if
+concentrating all the bitterness he felt, in a withering outburst, he
+added, "And mother says so too!"
+
+No. 229. _Their Notions of another World._--"Well then," said a little
+girl, throwing down her book, "I don't want to die and go to heaven that
+way; but if God would just let down a big basket, and draw me up with a
+rope, I do think I should like it."
+
+No. 230. Another little girl, after being made to understand what a
+_post mortem_ examination was, declared that she would never consent to
+be so dealt with, after death.
+
+"What! when it would be such a help to the living, my dear?"
+
+"Fiddle-de-dee! how would I look going to heaven all cut to pieces?"
+
+No. 231. _Another._--Lottie, lying sick with a fever, having lost a dear
+little cousin not long before, was unwilling to take her medicine, till
+she was promised a pair of ear-rings. By and by, when she was believed
+to be sound asleep, her mother was suddenly startled by a burst of loud
+laughter. Being asked what was the matter, Lottie said, "O, it tickles
+me so to think how cousin Hiram _will_ laugh, when he sees me come
+trottin' into heaven with my new ear-rings!"
+
+No. 232. _A Justification._--"Golly!--Gosh!--Gracious!" shouted a funny
+little chap, at something he saw.
+
+"Why, Bobby," said his mother, "where _did_ you pick up such words?"
+
+"O, I've heard _you_ say Gracious, mamma, and the golly-gosh I just made
+up myself," was the reply.
+
+One day this dear mother, who had expostulated and pleaded with him till
+she had no patience left, said she could bear with him no longer; she
+wouldn't have a little boy round her that used such language; and so she
+would have to put him away, and try to find another little son. In the
+bitterness and desolation of his heart, Master Bobby went out into the
+yard, and sat down on the grass to have a good cry by himself; whereupon
+a little bantam rooster, not understanding the case, flew up on the
+fence, and fell a-crowing like all possessed. "Shut up, darn you!"
+blubbered Bobby, through his big dropping tears; "I've trouble enough on
+my mind, without you!" He had just promised never to use that, nor any
+other naughty word again, while he breathed the breath of life.
+
+And for a time he kept his promise. But one day, just when they began to
+feel greatly encouraged, he burst into the room with, "Oh, mother! what
+do you think? I was coming through the field just now, and a horse was
+tied there--the wickedest horse ever you _did_ see; an' he jist stood
+still there, and kept sayin' 'By golly!' and 'By gosh!' and 'Dod darn
+you!' and everything else he could think of. If you'd a been there,
+you'd a-whipped him, oh, ever so hard, mamma! wouldn't you? And so would
+I, if I'd had a whip." His mind was relieved.
+
+No. 233. _Fishing and Mousing._--"Some years ago," says the New England
+correspondent of--I forget what paper, "my cousin kept a district
+school. Among her scholars was a little fellow of perhaps four years of
+age, but too young to speak plainly. One day, when all the others were
+hard at work, this youngster got hold of a pin and a string. The pin he
+bent into the shape of a fish-hook, baiting it with a morsel of cheese.
+He had seen a mouse come up through a hole in the corner of the hearth,
+not long before, and went to work 'bobbing for whales.' On being asked
+what he was at, he answered, 'Fishin' for a mousie.' This being rather
+out of the usual course of study, the teacher, by way of punishment,
+ordered him to stay where he was, and keep bobbing, till further orders.
+After a while, there was a commotion; the mouse, it seemed, had
+swallowed the cheese, hook and all, and the next moment Master Jerry,
+giving a sudden jerk, sprang into the middle of the room, and swinging
+the mouse round his head, shouted, 'I've dut 'im! I thware I've dut
+'im!'"
+
+No. 234. _Sunday-school Conundrums._--A smart little chap, with a wicked
+eye, on being asked what was the chief end of man, replied, "The end
+what's got the head on."
+
+No. 235. _Inferential._--"Oh, mamma! mamma!" shouted a little shaver, as
+he saw the sun going down, all red, like the opening to a furnace-fire,
+"see how hot the sky is over there! Santa Claus is bakin', I guess."
+
+Another of these natural philosophers, in petticoats, on hearing a man
+dump coal into the bin with a terrible rumbling, shouted, "Oh, mother!
+now I know what makes thunder. It is God puttin' coal on."
+
+No. 236. _Coming to the Point._--"Tilly, my love," said a young mother
+to a daughter in her fourth summer, "what would you do without your
+mother?"
+
+"I should put on every day just such a dress as I wanted to," said
+Tilly, coquetting with her little fan.
+
+No. 237. _Second Thoughts._--"O papa, is it wrong to change your mind?"
+"Well, no, my boy--that depends upon circumstances; but why do you ask?"
+"You know I wanted to be a doctor, papa," said the little five-year-old.
+"O yes, I remember; and what then?" "Well, if you please, papa, I'd
+rather be a candy-store."
+
+No. 238. _Special Pleading._--"A friend at Lewiston," says one of our
+newspapers, "told his little Josey, about six years of age, not to go
+out of the gate again without leave. Soon after, papa missed him from
+the back-yard, and saw him a long way off, tumbling about on the
+sidewalk. He went after him, and taking him by the hand, leading him
+toward the house, and considering the question of punishment for such
+disobedience, he asked him why he left the yard, when he had been told
+not to do so. 'Well, you see, papa, you told me not to go out o' the
+gate; but you didn't tell me not to climb over the fence.'" Demurrer
+sustained.--Plea adjudged good, and no _respondeas ouster_ allowed.
+
+No. 239. _And why not?_--"Lottie," said a little visitor, "what makes
+your Kitty so cross?" "Oh, tause she's tuttin' her teef, I 'spec."
+
+No. 240. _Vagabondizing._--Two Illinois chaps, one twelve, and the other
+only eight, left their homes not long ago to see the world, or seek
+their fortunes, without money or friends, and journeyed away off into
+Iowa, three hundred miles or so. The father of one, after snuffing about
+for two or three days, got upon their track, and followed them to
+Rock-Grove, Iowa, where he found them pretty well used up, though far
+from being sick of their bargain. They had no explanations to give--no
+excuses to offer--but, so far as could be discovered, had no reason for
+leaving their homes, or running away; and they had actually travelled
+the whole distance, on railroads and stages, without money and without
+price.
+
+No. 241. _Strange--if true._--"Harry! you shouldn't throw away nice
+bread like that; you may want it yourself before you die." "Well,
+mother, and if I should, would I stand any better chance of getting it
+then, if I should eat it now?"
+
+No. 242. _Am I dead, Papa?_--Many a child has propounded that same
+question, with all seriousness, after a narrow escape. The first words
+of a little boy who had just been fished up at New London lately,
+were--"_Be I dead, though?_"
+
+No. 243. _Enlisted for the War._--A little three-year-old, whose father,
+a clergyman, had presented him with a military cap, all "fuss and
+feathers," insisted on wearing it everywhere, and at all times, marching
+through all the rooms, to music of his own, hour after hour, and day
+after day, until his mother found it worth her while to remind him that
+soldiers didn't train on the Sabbath. Whereupon, our young gentleman
+started off up stairs, left foot first, with a new tune, compounded of
+Hail-Columbia and Yankee-Doodle, Mother-Goose and Bobbylink, saying, as
+he held on his way,--"_But I'm a soldier of the Lord, mamma._"
+
+No. 244. _Repeating the Colic._--The rector of an Episcopal Church in
+Albany, who had taken the greatest pains with his sabbath-school, and
+prided himself not a little on the proficiency of his scholars, called
+upon them one day, after a whole week of preparation, to repeat the
+_Collect_. A dead silence: then for a show of hands; not a hand was
+lifted; but, on casting his eyes over the little community, he saw a
+sign of encouragement. "Ah, ha!" said he, "I see a little hand raised in
+Miss Annie's class. Please repeat the _Collect_, my dear." The poor
+thing seemed bewildered. "If you know the Collect, Fanny," said the
+teacher, "why don't you repeat it?" The child blushed and stammered; but
+on being further questioned, said, "I thought he wanted all that had the
+_colic_ to hold up their hands; and I had it t'other night, and father
+had to stay up, and take care of me." To _repeat_ her _colic_ would be
+no joke to her, whatever it might be to others, and she was probably
+excused.
+
+No. 245. _Instinctive Perception._--How wonderful that children so
+rarely misapply uncommon words, even where they do not understand
+them--being their own interpreters. A boy of nearly fourteen, was
+fishing for trout in a deep, clear brook. A stout, lubberly negro began
+teasing him, and throwing mud at him. The boy jumped up, and swinging
+the fish-pole round his head with all his might, fetched the colored
+gemman such a wipe with the butt, as to send him headlong into the
+water--where he left him floundering--and cleared out. When he reached
+home, on being called upon by his mother for an explanation of his
+uncomfortable appearance, he told her how it had happened. The mother
+was indignant: to have her boy so treated by a nigger was too much. "And
+did you brook the outrage?" she asked. "No mother," said the boy,
+catching the idea, though he did not quite understand the word, "no
+mother, _but I brooked the nigger_."
+
+No. 246. _A puzzling Question._--A minister of the Gospel, while
+preparing a discourse for the following Sabbath, stopped now and then to
+review what he had written, to alter and erase here and there. "Father,"
+said a young theologian of about five, just entering upon the ministry,
+"father, does God tell you what to preach?" "Certainly, my child." "Then
+what makes you scratch it out?"
+
+No. 247. _Let Brotherly Love prevail._--Another of like spirit, under
+five, in his regular evening prayer, remembered his younger brother with
+a sob, who was in a very bad way, after the following fashion: "Oh Lord,
+don't let my little brother die. Help Dr. S., oh Lord, to make him
+well--though his parents _are_ Democrats."
+
+No. 248. _Baby Champions._--In the "Life of Aaron Burr," by Davis, we
+have a little incident--the first--which that bad man delighted to
+recall. An old he-goat, or a ram, I forget which, came at his little
+grandson, while yet a baby, and threatened him with his horns. The
+child, having the blood of his grandfather in him, seized a stick, and
+let him have it with such effect, that the animal sheered off, greatly
+to the satisfaction of "grumpa," who saw it from the window. And here is
+another case _in pint_. A little four-year-old of Mr. Cheney, living in
+Ashland, N. H., was playing on the front yard with a younger sister and
+a pet bantam. A large hawk suddenly swooped down upon the poor thing,
+fastened his talons upon it, and would have carried it off but for the
+child, who, seizing a hatchet he had been playing with, fell upon the
+hawk, and pounded him till he let go his prey, and "skedaddled."
+
+No. 249. _Budding Nature._--Matthews used to tell a story about a little
+boy, who, on seeing the cherubim sculptured in Westminster-Abbey,
+exclaimed, "O mamma, how I do wish I was a cherubim!" to the great joy
+of his mother, who had to spank him oftener than he thought desirable;
+but, on being asked wherefore, he said--almost sobbing--"'Cause they
+ain't got nothin' but wings and head," rubbing his--behind--at the same
+time, with uncommon energy.
+
+"Ah," said another little chap to a playfellow who had just been sorely
+trounced, "Ah, ha! I guess you hain't got any gran'-mother!"
+
+And again. "Mamma," said another little tantrybogus, "why are them
+orphans you talk so much about, and pity so much, the happiest little
+creatures in the world, arter all?" "They are not, my son; but why do
+you ask?" "'Cause they hain't got nobody to wallop 'em."
+
+No. 250. _A definition of Pride._--"What is _pride_, my dear?" "Walking
+with a cane, when you ain't lame," said the little four-year-old to whom
+the query was propounded.
+
+No. 251. _Liberty of Speech._--"Chickerin', is meetin' out?" said a
+little fellow, perched upon a high fence, many years ago, to Dr.
+Chickering, on his way from church.
+
+No. 252. The same little rogue, who, by the way, has gone bravely up
+since, leaving his own monument behind him--as most people do, I
+believe--was crowing pretty loudly one day, when I was going by. "Holloa
+there!" said I, "Holloa! I can lick you, Sam Fessenden!"
+
+"Well--I'll tell you what you can't do!" said he.
+
+"What is it?"
+
+"You can't give me a rockin'-horse."
+
+No. 253. _Admirable Definition._--At one of the ragged schools of
+Ireland, a clergyman asked, "What is holiness?"
+
+A dirty, ragged little wretch jumped up, and sung out, "Plase your
+riverence, it's bein clane inside."
+
+No. 254. _Another._--A boy, eight years old, having been told that a
+reptile is an animal that creeps, and being asked on examination-day to
+name one, answered, without winking, "_A baby_."
+
+No. 255. _A Young Butcher._--A boy in New York, only five years old,
+having heard papa say that he wished the two calves they had in the barn
+were killed, got a hammer, and going to the barn by himself, succeeded
+in killing them both; and returned to the house to tell the story--to
+report progress and ask leave to sit again, as we say at Washington,
+after a similar feat.
+
+No. 256. _Flat Contradiction._--"What's that?" said a school-master,
+pointing to the letter X. "It's daddy's name," said the boy. "No, you
+little blockhead, it's X." "Tain't X, neither," said the boy; "it's
+daddy's name, for I seed him write it many a time."
+
+No. 257. _A delicate Scruple._--"Oh, mamma!" said a little chap, the
+other day, who had been listening to her conversation with a neighboring
+gossip; "did you say I was born a-Sunday?"
+
+"Yes, my child."
+
+"Ain't I wicked, mamma?"
+
+"Why, what makes you ask such a question, Bobby?"
+
+"Well, ain't I a sabbath-breaker, for bein' born a-Sunday? But, mamma, I
+didn't mean to--I'm sure I didn't."
+
+No. 258. _A desirable Parentage._--A crowd of dirty, ragged little
+creatures were loitering about the large show-window of a
+confectionery-shop. "O my! don't I wish he was my father!" said a little
+barefooted girl, with her fist in her mouth. Was her sincerity to be
+doubted?
+
+No. 259. _Not to be mealy-mouthed._--"I dare say when you get back to
+mamma, Charlie, my boy, she'll have a nice present for you. What would
+you like best, Charlie? a little brother, or a little sister?" "Well
+now, Uncle George," after considering awhile, "if it makes no
+difference to Ma, I'd rather have a pony."
+
+No. 260. _High-school Training._--"I say, Ma! do you know what the
+pyro--pyro--pyrotechnical remedy is, for a crying baby?" said a little
+miss of thirteen, with cherry lips and roguish eyes.
+
+"Gracious goodness me! no; I never heard of such a thing."
+
+"Well, ma--it's _rock-it_!"
+
+No. 261. _School Exercises._--"Well, Maggie, what do they do at school?"
+"They whips me." "And then what do you do?" "I tingle, skeam, and
+dance." Another group of three were questioned. The oldest said, "He had
+to get grammar, arithmetic, geography," etc., etc. The second, that he
+"got readin', spellin', and _diffinitions_." "And what do you get my
+little man?"--to Master Jack, who happened just then to be spearing the
+cat with a wooden sword. "Oh, I gets lots--I gets readin', and
+spellin', and spankin'; and then I gets up in the mornin'--sometimes."
+
+No. 262. _Childish Inferences._--"Come now, children, speak up! What is
+it that makes the sea, salt?" "Codfish!" screamed a boy from a distant
+corner of the room; "Codfish!" as if he were crying the article to a
+Down-East population, Saturday morning.
+
+No. 263. _Great Forbearance._--"O, Ma," said a little creature, who had
+been allowed to stay at communion for the first time, "what do you
+think! a man went round with a plateful of money, and offered it to
+everybody in our pew; but I didn't take any."
+
+No. 264. _A gentle rebuke for the Earl of ----_, a pompous and niggardly
+gentleman, who personally superintends the dairy where he lives, and
+actually sells the milk to the children with his own hands.
+
+One morning, a pretty child, standing a-tip-toe, with her pitcher and
+penny held up, caught the eyes of this nobleman. "Now," said he, "my
+pretty lass--_now_," patting her on the head, and giving her a
+kiss--"_now_, you may tell, as long as you live, that you have been
+kissed by an Earl."
+
+"O yes--but you took the penny, though," said the little witch,
+innocently enough, I dare say. But what became of the Earl? Nobody
+knows. It was a long while ago.
+
+No. 265. _Where do all the Cooks go?_--A capital housekeeper having
+discharged her cook with emphasis, exclaimed, "Well, thank heaven! there
+are no cooks in the other world." Which other world did she mean, think
+you? Her little girl seemed puzzled; but, after thinking awhile, said,
+"Well, mamma, then who cooks wash-days? for you know they must have a
+big wash, as they always wear white."
+
+No. 266. _More Sabbath-school Exercises._--"Where was John Rogers
+burned?--tell me now," said a teacher, in a voice that filled the room,
+and startled the listeners at the door. "Couldn't tell," said the first.
+No answer from the next. "Joshua knows," whispered a little thing at the
+head of her class. "Well, then, if Joshua knows, he may tell," said the
+teacher. "In the fire," shouted Joshua, with a look of imperturbable
+self-complacency.
+
+No. 267. _Just as the twig is bent, etc., etc._--A little shaver, living
+in Walcott, Maine, aged only five years, having well considered the
+subject of earning his bread, went to a farmer and offered his services.
+He was put to raking hay, and persevered as long as the rest, and went
+home to his happy mother in the evening, with a silver dollar in his
+pocket. And where did he get it? some lazy little Jackanapes will ask, I
+dare say. Go to your mother, child.
+
+No. 268. _Them's my Sentiments._--A six-year-old boy was set to work
+upon what is called a "composition," all about water. He wrote as
+follows: "Water is good to drink. Water is good to paddle in and swim
+in, and to skate on when it grows hard in winter. When I was a little
+wee baby, nurse used to wash me every morning in cold water--_ugh_! I
+have heard tell the Injuns only wash themselves once in ten years. I
+wish I was an Injun."
+
+No. 269. _Arithmetic made easy._--"Peter--I say, Peter! what are you
+doing with that boy?" "Helping him in 'rethmetic, sir." "How helping
+him?" "He wanted to know if I took ten from seventeen, how many would be
+left; and so I took ten of his apples to show him, an' now he wants 'em
+back."
+
+"And why don't you give 'em back, hey?"
+
+"'Cause I want him to remember how many was left."
+
+No. 270. _Scripture and Poetry._--While a poor mother was moaning over
+her wretchedness and helplessness, fearing that she would have to go to
+the workhouse, her little boy looked up from his pile of blocks in the
+chimney-corner, and murmured, "Mamma, I think God hears, when we scrape
+the bottom of the barrel."
+
+No. 271. _A glorious Boy._--The playmates of a small boy were trying to
+persuade him to take a handful or two of cool, ripe cherries, from a
+tree overhanging the stone-wall, where they were sitting together in the
+hot sunshine.
+
+"What are you afeard of?" said the largest, "for if your father should
+find it out, he is so kind, he wouldn't punish you."
+
+"That's the very reason why I wouldn't touch 'em," said the dear little
+fellow, in reply.
+
+No. 272. _Physics and Metaphysics._--An amiable professor, in France,
+was laboring to explain that theory, according to which the body is
+entirely renewed every six years, giving for illustration the experiment
+made with a pig, by feeding it on madder till its bones were colored
+through and through, and other cases. "And so, mam'selle," said he,
+addressing a pretty little blonde with a roguish face, "in six years you
+will be no longer Mademoiselle F----."
+
+"I hope so," murmured Mam'selle F., casting down her eyes, and peering
+up at him through her long lashes. Evidently she had somewhat
+misunderstood her teacher.
+
+No. 273. _Too good to be true._--A little boy having broken his
+rocking-horse the very day it was brought home, his mother began
+scolding him. "Why, mamma," said he, with a mischievous giggle, as if he
+understood the joke, and _meant_ it, "What's the use of a horse afore
+he's _broke_?"
+
+No. 274. _True, beyond all question._--Said somebody to a little moppet,
+as she sat on the door-step playing with her kitten and her doll, "Which
+do you love best, darling, your kitten or your doll?"
+
+After looking serious for a minute or two, she leaned over and
+whispered, "I love Kitty best, but please don't tell Dolly."
+
+No. 275. _A slight Misapprehension._--Three little negroes were lately
+baptized by our friend, Mr. C., of the new Protestant Cathedral. After
+the ceremony was over, one of them whispered to its mother, "You don't
+mind it, mamma, do you, 'cause he baptized us in his night-gown?"
+
+No. 276. _A Natural Curiosity._--A dear little six-year-old was going by
+a church with her father. "What house is that?" asked the child. "That
+is the Dutch Church," said papa; "people go there to be good, so that,
+after a while, they may be angels." "Hi! then there'll be Dutch angels,
+papa!"
+
+No. 277. _Much to the Point._--A sabbath-school teacher had been reading
+to her class the beautiful story of Ruth--with a running accompaniment.
+Wishing to call their attention to the kindness of the princely
+husbandman, in ordering the reapers to drop here and there a handful of
+wheat, she said, "Now, children, Boaz did another nice thing for poor
+Ruth: can you tell me what it was?" "To be sure I can," said a little
+fellow, a long way off;--"_he married her_."
+
+No. 278. _A new Currency._--Our Sallie, a pleasant, active, sprightly
+little thing, just old enough to make herself understood, partly by
+pantomime and partly by lisping, came in all of a glow, saying,--
+
+"O mamma! mamma! Me jess buyed a itte paper-doll."
+
+"Indeed! and where did you buy it?"
+
+"O, jess down here, in a defful big store; me toot a ittle dirl in me's
+hand."
+
+"And where did you get your money to pay for it?"
+
+"O, me didn't buy it for money, mamma--me jess gived the gemman a fower
+to pay for it."
+
+And sure enough! Upon further inquiry, it turned out that the little
+midget had entered a large store, made her way into the back part--one
+of the largest establishments in Brooklyn, by the way--and seeing some
+paper-dolls in hand, wanted to buy one; but having no money, offered a
+flower she had just gathered on the way, which the shopman received with
+all seriousness, regarding it as a lawful tender.
+
+No. 279. _A new handle for Pussy._--Little three-year-old Mary was
+playing roughly with her pet kitten. After pulling its ears, she began
+carrying it by the tail. "Baby, dear," said her mother, "you hurt
+pussy." "No I don't, mamma--'cause I'm carryin' it by the handle."
+
+No. 280. _A new Puzzle._--A pretty little thing under five, on being
+questioned by her mother about her Bible lesson, was asked, among other
+matters, why the Lord wouldn't let Adam and his wife eat of the
+forbidden fruit; and answered, that she "didn't know for certain, but
+rather thought, maybe He wanted to can it for his own use."
+
+No. 281. _More Logic._--In our Putnam for October, there are two
+charming little manifestations of boyish character and boyish reasoning.
+A chap of only five, soon after the fire at Barnum's Museum, which he
+had investigated, was very anxious to know if there really were any such
+creatures as devils, "with horns, hoofs, bats'-wings and eagles'
+claws"--he had just been looking at an illustrated Pilgrim's Progress.
+Mamma tried to put him off, but in vain. At last, he broke out with,
+"Well--I don't believe there is any, for Barnum would be sure to have
+one." And then, after another glance at the illustration, he added, "How
+funny he _would_ look in a cage, with his horns and tail!"
+
+The same little fellow hid his face in his mother's lap one day, while
+it thundered. To soothe him, his mother explained the phenomena of
+thunder and lightning. A lull followed, and he ran off to play in a
+distant corner of the room. Then followed another burst, louder than
+usual. Back he ran to his mother, exclaiming, "I don't see what fun 'tis
+for God to go thunderin' round so!" Of course not.
+
+No. 282. _Natural History._--According to Peter Pindar, Sir Joseph
+Banks' fleas were lobsters till he boiled them, when "d--d a one turned
+red;" whereat he exclaimed, according to the same authority, who, in his
+own mortal extremity, if Byron may be credited,--
+
+    ----"Supprest
+    With a death-bed sensation a blasphemous jest,"
+
+"Fleas are _not_ lobsters--d--n their souls!"
+
+But another question has lately come up. A little girl, of the Buffalo
+tribe, wants to know if fleas are _white_; "cauth untle teld her that
+Mary had a little lamb with _fleas_ as white as snow."
+
+_Another._--A charity scholar--perhaps one of the Ragged School--on
+being asked, after an examination in the Psalms, "What was the
+Pestilence that walketh in darkness?" answered,--"Bed bugth, thir!"--Not
+so much out of the way, after all; since fleas only _hop_ in darkness.
+
+No. 283. _Cross-examination._--Says a neighbor, "Wife was undressing a
+little four-year-old--Charley--the other evening. After he was set free,
+he began to feel of his fat, chubby arms, with manifest
+self-complacency; and looking up into his mother's face, he said,
+'Mamma, who made me?'"
+
+"'The Good Man away up in the sky,'" said mamma.
+
+"Whereupon Charley grew thoughtful, and after looking up through the
+tree-tops into the clear blue starlit sky for a few minutes, added,
+'But, mamma, who took me down?'"
+
+No. 284. _A Broad Hint._--There was an aged country clergyman, who found
+so little time for study, that when fairly at work, he wouldn't allow
+his grandchildren to romp in the passage, or play hide-and-seek, or
+leap-frog in the study--the monster!
+
+"Ma," said one of these little fellows, who had been snubbed for
+riotous behavior one day, "I say, Ma,"--she had just been telling
+him about heaven--"I say, Ma, I don't want to go to heaven." "Don't
+want to go to heaven, Georgie!" "No, Ma, I'm sure I don't." "And why
+not?" "Why, gran'pa will be there, won't he?" "Why yes--I hope so."
+"Well--jest as soon as he sees us, he'll come scoldin' along, and
+say,--'Whew--whew--whew! What are these boys here for?'"
+
+No. 285. _Patronage._--"I say, dad--have you been to the Museum yet?"
+said a young American of ten. "No, my son." "Well, jest you go, and
+mention my name to the door-keeper, an' he'll take you round and show
+you everything."
+
+No. 286. _Childish Cunning._--"A child who is good at excuses is seldom
+good for anything else," quoth Franklin. A naughty little chap, says a
+contemporary, went blubbering into the back-yard, because his mother
+wouldn't allow him to go down to the river on the Sabbath. On being
+further remonstrated with, he said, "But, mamma, I didn't want to go in
+a-swimmin' with 'em; I only wanted to go down an' see the bad little
+boys drown, for goin' in a-swimmin' on a Sunday--boo-hoo, boo-hoo!"
+
+No. 287. _Childish Trust._--The following illustration of the passage,
+"Whosoever shall not receive the Kingdom of God as a little child, he
+shall not enter therein," will, I am sure, be thankfully received.
+
+As the train stopped, a gentleman who had been seriously engaged in
+conversation with another, who had a little boy with him, said to the
+child, after bidding the father farewell--"Good-by, Charley; take care
+of yourself."
+
+"My father will take care of me," said the boy, with a look of
+unquestioning trust.
+
+No. 288. _What shall we pray for?_--A child of seven had been packed to
+bed quite early for something rather serious. At the usual hour of
+bed-time, her mother sat down by the bed-side to read prayers for the
+day. "Mamma," said the little one, "please read the prayer for persons
+in affliction."
+
+No. 289. _A Poser._--"Well then--who took care of the babies?" asked a
+little girl, on hearing her mother say that all people were once
+children.
+
+No. 290. _Another Poser._--Aunt Bessie had been laboring with Master
+Jack, to persuade him to go to bed at set of sun; urging for his
+consideration that the dear little chickens always went to roost at that
+time. "Yes, auntie--I know that--but then the old hen always goes with
+'em!"
+
+No. 291. _A reasonable Being._--"Halloa, mamma! halloa there!" shouted
+the angel of the household, from the top of the garret stairs, "I'm mad
+as fire--and Hannah won't pacify me."
+
+No. 292. _Mind your Pronunciation._--A gentlewoman of Belfast, Ireland,
+was questioning a child in a charity school, about what the wife of a
+king, and the wife of an emperor were called; and then she added for
+their encouragement, "And now what is the wife of a duke called?"--"A
+drake! a drake!" shouted half a dozen little voices.
+
+No. 293. _Foresight, Sagacity, and Thrift._--Little Master Jemmy began
+to save the change that fell in his way at a very early age, in the hope
+of being a rich man, like Messrs A., B., and C., who rode in their
+carriages, or "swung on the gate" all day long, with "a _little more_
+fat pork," after their wishes had been granted for "as _much fat pork as
+they could eat_."
+
+One morning, at breakfast, when he was about gobbling the last
+mouthful, his aunt informed him, that during the night a pair of babies
+had been added to the family, already consisting of three beside Jemmy.
+
+The boy dropped his knife and fork, and sung out,--"Good gracious, Aunt
+Mary! if father and mother keep on at this rate, there won't be fifty
+dollars a-piece for us!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+CONTENTS OF PICKINGS AND STEALINGS.
+
+
+[Transcriber Note: The following are note numbers, not page numbers]
+
+Children's notions of theology, 1, 2, 13, 14, 22, 48, 70, 72, 132, 134,
+166, 168, 178, 265, 283.
+
+Children's notions of the Bible, 2, 39, 41, 148, 149, 163, 174, 228.
+
+Children's notions of heaven, 4, 19, 88, 101, 119, 145, 215, 224, 230,
+238, 239, 265, 284.
+
+Lessons for teachers, 2, 4, 5, 31, 43, 47, 66.
+
+Children's notions of praying, 6, 11, 37, 42, 98, 118, 155, 161, 163,
+166, 187, 254, 288.
+
+Their notions of language, 7, 10, 15, 21, 120, 121, 153, 194, 251.
+
+Their honesty, 2, 8, 12, 17, 78, 115, 119, 122, 125, 137, 195, 243, 257,
+271, 274.
+
+Their ideas of another world, 25, 30, 38, 127, 144, 193, 242, 270.
+
+Their instincts, 16, 18, 27, 28, 31, 44, 69, 76, 80, 90, 108, 118, 141,
+144, 167, 181, 263.
+
+Their philosophy, 21, 163, 165, 183, 203.
+
+Their politics, 23, 214, 254.
+
+Their Sunday-school exercises, 22, 26, 31, 43, 47, 66, 142, 156, 164,
+165, 187, 195, 205, 241, 266, 277, 280, 282.
+
+Their imitation, 28, 85, 105, 146, 176, 181, 192, 204, 212, 219, 222,
+232, 240.
+
+Their selfishness, 29, 40, 79, 87, 116, 150, 151, 243, 267.
+
+Their quibbles, 33, 67, 80, 231, 245, 286.
+
+Their misapprehension of words, 2, 35, 112, 120, 121, 160, 223, 252,
+264, 276, 282.
+
+Their puzzling questions, 24, 72, 160, 178, 253, 268.
+
+Their cunning, 33, 45, 46, 51, 73, 79, 82, 92, 106, 224, 228, 130, 134,
+139, 158, 163, 169, 172, 202, 206, 259, 260, 273, 279, 286.
+
+Their unselfishness, 49, 50.
+
+Their foresight, 52, 90, 102, 188, 208.
+
+Their self-complacency, 54, 71, 77.
+
+Their metaphysics, 1, 72, 74, 96, 162, 170, 261.
+
+Their explanations, 84, 95, 123, 130, 156, 183, 196, 246, 262, 282.
+
+Their adroitness, 85, 89, 99, 103, 105, 122, 124, 125, 147, 152.
+
+Their speculations, 90, 100, 109, 140, 180, 210, 275.
+
+Their business qualities, 91.
+
+Their naturalness, 93, 110, 114, 180, 181, 189, 201, 218, 220, 263, 272,
+274, 291.
+
+Their faith, 98, 177, 287.
+
+Their influence, 115, 285.
+
+Their misapplication of words, 1, 48, 148, 162, 225.
+
+Retribution, 128.
+
+Example, 129, 267, 268.
+
+A great mystery, 133, 217.
+
+An etymologist, 136.
+
+Their literalness, 134, 229, 235, 256, 268, 269, 277, 278, 279.
+
+Their definitions, 156, 184, 257, 261, 262.
+
+Their protestantism, 189, 190.
+
+Their smartness, 197. _See_ Cunning, 201, 240, 250, 264, 269, 289.
+
+Their constructiveness, 198.
+
+Yankee notions, 1, 199.
+
+Their pluckiness, 216, 237, 247, 255.
+
+Total depravity, 227.
+
+Where mother is, 230, 287.
+
+Their poetry, 230, 234, 270.
+
+Liberty of Speech, 259, 260.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Great Mysteries and Little Plagues, by John Neal
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