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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Harvard Stories + Sketches of the Undergraduate + +Author: Waldron Kintzing Post + +Release Date: January 5, 2011 [EBook #34857] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARVARD STORIES *** + + + + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Mary Meehan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<h1>HARVARD STORIES</h1> + +<h3>SKETCHES OF THE UNDERGRADUATE</h3> + +<h2>BY WALDRON KINTZING POST</h2> + +<h3>G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS</h3> + +<h3>NEW YORK; LONDON<br /> +27 WEST TWENTY-THIRD STREET; 24 BEDFORD STREET, STRAND</h3> + +<h3>The Knickerbocker Press<br /> +1895</h3> + +<h3>COPYRIGHT, 1893<br /> +BY WALDRON KINTZING POST</h3> + +<h3>Electrotyped, Printed and Bound by<br /> +The Knickerbocker Press, New York<br /> +<span class="smcap">G. P. Putnam's Sons</span></h3> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h3>TO<br /> +THE CLASS OF '90</h3> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> + +<h2>CONTENTS</h2> + +<!-- Autogenerated TOC. Modify or delete as required. --> +<p> +<a href="#PREFACE">PREFACE.</a><br /> +<a href="#JACK_RATTLETON_GOES_TO_SPRINGFIELD_AND_BACK">JACK RATTLETON GOES TO SPRINGFIELD AND BACK.</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_WAKING_NIGHTMARE_OF_HOLLIS_HOLWORTHY">THE WAKING NIGHTMARE OF HOLLIS HOLWORTHY.</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_PLOT_AGAINST_BULLAM">THE PLOT AGAINST BULLAM.</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_DOG_BLATHERS">THE DOG BLATHERS.</a><br /> +<a href="#A_HOWARD_AND_HARVARD_EVENING">A HOWARD AND HARVARD EVENING.</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_HARVARD_LEGION_AT_PHILIPPI">THE HARVARD LEGION AT PHILIPPI.</a><br /> +<a href="#IN_THE_EARLY_SIXTIES">IN THE EARLY SIXTIES.</a><br /> +<a href="#LITTLE_HELPING_HANDS">LITTLE HELPING HANDS.</a><br /> +<a href="#A_RAMBLING_DISCUSSION_AND_AN_ADVENTURE_PERHAPS_UNCONNECTED">A RAMBLING DISCUSSION AND AN ADVENTURE, PERHAPS UNCONNECTED.</a><br /> +<a href="#SERIOUS_SITUATIONS_IN_BURLEIGHS_ROOM1">SERIOUS SITUATIONS IN BURLEIGH'S ROOM.[1]</a><br /> +<a href="#A_HARVARD-YALE_EPISODE">A HARVARD-YALE EPISODE.</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_DAYS_OF_RECKONING">THE DAYS OF RECKONING.</a><br /> +<a href="#CLASS_DAY">CLASS DAY.</a><br /> +<a href="#HOW_RIVERS_LUCK_TURNED">HOW RIVERS' LUCK TURNED.</a><br /><br /> +<a href="#THE_NEWEST_FICTION">THE NEWEST FICTION.</a><br /> +</p> +<!-- End Autogenerated TOC. --> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE"></a>PREFACE.</h2> + + +<p>I cannot expect any one to be interested in these stories who is not +interested in the scenes where they are laid. To you, my class-mates and +contemporaries, I need make no apology. We always gave each other freely +the valuable gift Burns asked of the gods; my shortcomings I shall learn +soon enough—especially if I have written anything false or pretentious. +But I feel sure that anything about Harvard, however imperfect, will not +be unwelcome to you—provided it is true. We are scattered far apart and +cannot often meet to talk over old times; perhaps these recollections +may partially serve at times, in the place of an old chum, to bring back +the days when we were all together. They are only yarns and pictures of +us boys; but you will think no worse of them for that. The higher +traditions of the old place I have dared in only one instance to +approach.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"The great and the good in their beautiful prime<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Through those precincts have musingly trod,"<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>and for that we reverence, we glory in those precincts; is it +profanation to add that we also love them, because we ourselves have +rollicked through them, with Jack, Ned, and Dick?</p> + +<p>One thing, however, I must say to you before you begin to read. You will +quickly see that I can claim little originality in the following +stories. They are almost all founded on actual occurrences of either our +own college life, or that of undergrads. before us. Some of the +incidents came under my own notice, others happened to men of whom I do +not even know the names, but who, I trust, will forgive my use of their +experiences. But let no one imagine that, in any of the characters, he +recognizes either himself or any one else. No one of us enters into +these pages,—though I have tried to draw parts of all.</p> + +<p>Among you also, my older brothers, I hope to find readers. There have +been changes and developments since you were in college; many old +institutions have passed away and new ones taken their places; there may +be features in these sketches that you will not recognize; but in the +main, Alma Mater is still the same. Holworthy, with all its memories, +still gazes contemplatively down the green leafy Yard; the same old +buildings flank it on either hand. The white walls of University still +look across to the aged pair, Massachusetts and her partner, the head of +the family. The latter still rears his sonorous crest (in spite of all +your historic efforts to silence it); and is it not Jones who rings the +bell? The river is there, the elms are there; above all, the +undergraduate is there, and oh, reverend grads., from the tales I have +heard ye tell, I opine that the undergraduate is still the same. If I +can recall him to you in these sketches, if I can make one of you say, +"That is like old times," I shall have done all that I hope.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2>HARVARD STORIES.</h2> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="JACK_RATTLETON_GOES_TO_SPRINGFIELD_AND_BACK" id="JACK_RATTLETON_GOES_TO_SPRINGFIELD_AND_BACK"></a>JACK RATTLETON GOES TO SPRINGFIELD AND BACK.</h2> + + +<p>The shadow of Massachusetts had reached across the Yard almost to +University Hall, which fact, ye who are ignorant of Harvard topography, +means that it was late in the afternoon. Hollis Holworthy was stretched +in his window seat with a book, of which, however, he was not reading +much, as his room was just then in use as a temporary club. It was the +month of November, but Holworthy kept the window open to let out the +volume of pipe smoke kindled by his gregarious friends. He and his chum +Rivers had an attractive room on the Yard, up only one flight of stairs, +and these little gatherings were apt to come upon them frequently. The +eleven was going to Springfield next day, so the foot-ball practice on +that afternoon had been short, and several of Holworthy's "gang" who had +been watching it had dropped into the room on their way back from Jarvis +Field. They were a typical set of Harvard men, hailing from various and +distant parts of the nation, and of various characters; yet all very +much alike in certain respects, after three years together around that +Yard. Rivers, part owner of the room, who had been playing foot-ball, +came in after the rest and announced joyfully that he had been +definitely assigned to the position of guard on the team.</p> + +<p>"Sorry to hear it," growled Billy Bender, who was captain of the +University crew. "You are sure to get a bad knee or something, and be +spoiled for the boat. I lost two good men by foot-ball last year. If I +had my way I wouldn't let any of the rowing men play the confounded +game."</p> + +<p>"If you had your way, you old crank," said Holworthy, "you'd strap every +man in college fast to an oar. Then you would stand over them and crack +a whip and have a bully time. You would have made a first-rate galley +master."</p> + +<p>"I am tired to death of talking and hearing nothing but the game," +declared Hudson. "I move to lay it on the table. There is nothing new to +guess about it. I don't see how we can lose, and you don't see how we +can lose, and no one sees how we can lose."</p> + +<p>"That is apt to be the case at just this time," remarked Holworthy. "Two +days from now our vision may be woefully cleared up."</p> + +<p>"Shut up, you old croaker," cried Burleigh, throwing a sofa cushion at +his host. The cushion knocked the book from Holworthy's hand and out of +the window.</p> + +<p>"You go down and get that now, you pretty, playful child," said +Holworthy, indignantly. "Oh, thank you, yes, throw it up, please," he +continued to someone outside. "Much obliged. No, Rattleton isn't here. I +believe he went out for a ride."</p> + +<p>"Who's that?" asked Randolph, as Holworthy drew in his head, having +caught the book.</p> + +<p>"Varnum, the coxswain."</p> + +<p>"What the deuce does he want with Jack Rattleton?" queried Burleigh.</p> + +<p>"I am sure I don't know," answered Holworthy, "but he and Jack are great +pals, you know."</p> + +<p>"What!" exclaimed Bender, who was not one of Rattleton's intimate +friends, "Varnum and Rattleton? That is the funniest combination I ever +heard of. The quietest, hardest worker in college, and the worst +loafer."</p> + +<p>"You are wrong there," said Holworthy. "If you knew Jack as well as the +rest of us do, you'd know he was the best loafer in college."</p> + +<p>"I believe that good-for-nothing chap would get up in the middle of the +night to be hanged for any one of us," added Rivers.</p> + +<p>"I am not sure about the middle of the night," said Hudson, doubtfully. +"At any rate if he was to be hanged for it himself, he wouldn't get up +before nine in the morning."</p> + +<p>"How did he happen to get thick with Varnum?" inquired Bender.</p> + +<p>"First they sat next to each other in some course," explained Holworthy. +"One day Jack was out in his dog-cart, I believe, and met Varnum walking +and picked him up. Jack was a Sophomore then, but a pretty good sort of +a Soph., and I think he was rather surprised and interested at +discovering that there were men in this University outside of his own +little set, and of a new kind."</p> + +<p>"That fellow Varnum is a rattler," said Rivers. "Hardly anyone knows him +except the crew men, and, I suppose, some of his Y. M. C. A. pals. He +has been making an awfully sandy fight of it, I can tell you, working +his way all through college. Why, do you know, that chap came up with +just two dollars and forty cents in his pocket!"</p> + +<p>"There are lots of men doing just that sort of thing," declared Ernest +Gray, a sympathetic, enthusiastic little man. "Some day we'll be proud +of having been in the same class with some of those fellows. It's a +shame that we don't know all about all of 'em."</p> + +<p>"Oh, well," said Burleigh, consolingly, "we can always let people think +we were hand in glove with the great men. 'Know him? Why he was a +classmate of mine'—all that sort of thing, you know."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Dick Stoughton, "it's a comfort to reflect that we can +always blow about them without taking the trouble to hunt them up now."</p> + +<p>"Awful nuisance to chase up incipient and impecunious merit," added +Hudson.</p> + +<p>"I suppose that's why you helped Jack Rattleton take care of Varnum when +he was sick. Why do you affected fools always want to cover up the +precious little good you have got in you?" demanded Gray, in a mixture +of sorrow and anger.</p> + +<p>"One reason why they do it," said Holworthy, "is to make you flare up, +you little powder keg. Haven't you got used to it yet, after three +years?"</p> + +<p>"Varnum is a first-rate coxswain, anyway," said Captain Bender, coming +down to his regular estimate of worth. "I ran across him last year when +I was looking for a light man to steer. It's lucky I did, too; for there +was a great dearth of rudder-men. This little firebrand Gray would have +wrecked the 'Varsity crew to a certainty. I watched him in the class +races last year—he came near grabbing stroke's oar and trying to pull +himself. He nearly killed his men yelling at them in the first mile."</p> + +<p>"I should think he did," ejaculated Randolph, who had rowed in his class +crew.</p> + +<p>"Well, we won, anyway," said Gray in defence.</p> + +<p>"You bet we did," said Randolph, "and we tossed Gray in a blanket during +the celebration just to show there was no hard feeling, and give him all +the honors due to any coxswain."</p> + +<p>"I hope Varnum won't be too busy to steer this year," said Bender. "He +has a lot to do always."</p> + +<p>While this conversation was going on in Holworthy's room, the subject of +it, the man who "had a lot to do," continued on his way through the +Yard. Varnum's financial struggles had not been exaggerated by Rivers. +He had come up to college with almost nothing, except the clothes that +he wore and a strong heart under them. He had received help at starting +from the loan fund; by means of one of the numerous scholarships, +tutoring, and careful economy he had succeeded in clearing his debt by +his senior year. In the summer vacations he had supported himself and +laid up a little money, by all sorts of employments, from that of a +clerk in a country store to that of foremast hand on a yacht. Though he +worked at his studies hard enough to keep the necessary scholarship, he +was not a very high stand man. He was interested in some of the mission +work in Boston, and gave a great deal of time to "slumming."</p> + +<p>During the last year, too, he had made a little spare time for steering +the University crew; for he found this to be a good relaxation from his +work, and, besides, it brought him in contact with men whom he would not +otherwise have met, many of them well worth knowing. He was not the sort +of man to make friends easily, in fact he had no really intimate +companion; but the man to whom he had been most attracted was one of +entirely opposite character, training, and associates. His friendship +with Jack Rattleton, which had been the subject of the conversation in +Holworthy's room, was not an uncommon case of the attraction of +extremes. Rattleton's weak nature was easily drawn to a strong one, and +on the other hand "Lazy Jack Rat" was a source of amusement and interest +to Varnum.</p> + +<p>The latter once in telling Rattleton about himself had said laughingly, +"My father was very much opposed to my trying to work through Harvard. +He had terrible ideas about the old place; said it was a rich man's +college, and if I got through it at all I should learn nothing but +extravagance and evil. I have rather changed his notions now, I think; +but, Rattleton, I should be afraid to show you to him, as my nearest +approach to a friend."</p> + +<p>"Why," the ingenuous Rattleton had replied, opening his mild eyes as +though a little hurt as well as wondering; "I dare say I am an ass, but +I don't do you any harm, do I?"</p> + +<p>"Not a bit," answered Varnum, smiling; "on the contrary, you do me lots +of good. Horrible example, you know; but if my old father ever comes to +see me, don't offer to take him out in that dog-cart of yours."</p> + +<p>"Why, it is perfectly safe," Jack had declared; "and I should be very +glad to give him a drive."</p> + +<p>As Varnum left the Yard and turned into the Square, he saw a tall thin +figure approaching, astride of a diminutive polo pony, and followed by a +brindled bull-terrier. Why do the men with the longest legs always ride +the smallest horses, while the little men invariably perch up aloft on +the tallest animal they can find? The long-legged rider put his +ill-matched steed into a canter when he saw Varnum, and pulled up +alongside of him.</p> + +<p>"Hullo, Varnum," he called with a little drawl; "while I think of it, +here's that five I owe you for tutoring. Why didn't you remind me of it +before?"</p> + +<p>"I have just been looking for you to dun you," answered Varnum. "I want +a little cash very much just at present, so I am not going to tell you +to wait until any time that is convenient."</p> + +<p>"Fool if you did," said Jack. "No time is ever convenient with me. +Somehow or other I seem to be hard up all the time. Oh, you needn't +laugh. I know I have rather more to spend than most fellows out here, +but that doesn't help me a bit when I've spent it. You needn't grin at +this nag either, you old monk, it hasn't been mine for some time. I had +to give it to that robber Flynn, the livery-man, for his bill. Don't +seem to have made much on the transaction, though, because now I have to +hire the beast. Flynn has my horse, hang him, and somehow I've still got +his bill."</p> + +<p>"There is no doubt about it, Rattleton," said the other; "you will be +renowned as a philosopher some day. You keep discovering great truths +all the time."</p> + +<p>"Are you going to the game?" asked Rattleton, turning the subject.</p> + +<p>"That would be a useless question to ask most men," said Varnum; "it is +equally useless to ask me. Of course I am not."</p> + +<p>"Not?" exclaimed Jack. "Nonsense! You're not going to stay all by +yourself here in Cambridge? Come now, old grind, do take a day off."</p> + +<p>"No," said Varnum, a little sadly, shaking his head; "I can't do it. I +can't spare either the time or the money. Besides I have something on my +hands that I can't drop just at present."</p> + +<p>"Bet I know," said Rattleton. "It is some of your confounded indigent +kid business. Of course, that sort of thing is bully and I admire you +for it, you know, and all that; but I should think you might leave the +indigents alone for one day."</p> + +<p>"Well, you see I am one myself," laughed Varnum. "Really I can't afford +it, so I don't deserve any credit for sticking by the other paupers."</p> + +<p>"The special rates to Springfield are very low," urged Jack. "I tell you +what you can do;—just what I'm going to do. Bet your expenses on the +game and then it will all be on Yale."</p> + +<p>"And if we lose?" queried Varnum.</p> + +<p>"Oh, well, if we lose, we'll only be hard up, just as we are now," was +the assuring response.</p> + +<p>"I see I have not been tutoring you in Pol. Econ. for nothing," said +Varnum. "No, Rattleton, I'd give anything I could afford to see that +game, but I can't afford anything, so don't stir me up about it."</p> + +<p>"All right, have your own way. Come 'round and dine with me to-night."</p> + +<p>Varnum assented, and Rattleton, calling out to his dog, "come along, +Blathers," rode off to the stables. On the way to his room to change his +clothes he met the other men of his club table going from Holworthy's +room to dinner. He told them that Varnum was coming to his table, and +warned them not to talk constant foot-ball all through dinner.</p> + +<p>"I wish I could help that chap out somehow," he said, discontentedly; +"he has got on to the tutoring dodge. He won't tutor me now, except when +there is an hour exam. coming, and he knows I have got to go to somebody +to be put through if I don't come to him."</p> + +<p>On the following day the Harvard forces began to move on Springfield. +The game was to be played on Saturday, but many men went on Friday +afternoon, for there is great joy to be had in Springfield on the eve of +battle. The Glee Club always gives a concert, after which there is a +very fine ball, one of the Springfield Assemblies, I believe. There is +also apt to be another ball, a "sociable" of the something-or-other +coterie. Holworthy and Gray were on the Glee Club, and were going to the +Assembly. The others decided to go to Springfield on that night also, +and attend the other ball.</p> + +<p>"Down with the bloated silk-stockings," declared Burleigh. "Let the +kid-gloved dudes dally with the pampered aristocracy. We are the people; +we'll go where we can turn in our waistcoats, stick our sailor-knots in +our shirt fronts, and be right in the top flight!"</p> + +<p>The Glee Club men had rooms engaged. Hudson was on the shooting-team, +and therefore also had a room secured, and the two Jacks, Rattleton and +Randolph, were going on one of the club sleeping-cars. Burleigh and +Stoughton had no rooms, but were willing to take their chances of +getting one. Indeed, these two very rarely failed on an expedition of +this sort in getting the best of everything. They were both sons of the +energetic West, besides which Stoughton was famed for his craft, and was +the recognized Ulysses of "the gang." They had a very effective method +of working together in a crowd. Ned Burleigh was six feet three, and his +weight had never been accurately ascertained by his friends. Dick +Stoughton, on the other hand, was of a slight and active build. On +arriving at any town where there was a rush for the hotels, Burleigh +would breast the crowd with all the weight of his broad front. +Stoughton, following close at his back with both the portmanteaus, would +swing them, one on each side of Burleigh's legs, about knee high. Thus +they would cut their way through any crowd, and arriving at its front, +Ned would take the baggage and come along by slow freight, while Dick +dashed for the hotel.</p> + +<p>This man[oe]uvre was successfully executed at Springfield, and Stoughton +secured the last room at the Massasoit House.</p> + +<p>The Glee Club concert in the evening was a great success, and after it +was over the respectable element, consisting of Gray and Holworthy, +passed a very delightful evening at the Assembly ball. So, I grieve to +record, did the low-toned members of "the gang" at the other ball. At +the <i>soirée</i> of the Social Club, Ned Burleigh obtained control of the +cotillion early in the evening. With Rattleton and Stoughton as right +hand men, he introduced many new and pleasing figures of his own +invention. In some way these three got unto themselves huge and gorgeous +badges, labelled "Floor Committee," and managed the whole affair with +wild success. Randolph, who came from the Sunny South, and "Colonel" +Dixey, of Kentucky, picked up one or two Yale men from their section of +the country, and organized an extempore Southern Club. If the governors +of the Carolinas had been with them, those celebrated dignitaries, I +suspect, would have experienced none of their proverbial trouble. As the +evening wore on, the Southern Club, in a true brotherly spirit, extended +its privileges to all the states and territories of the Union, and +initiated each new member. Hudson, at first, was disconsolate, for he +was on the shooting-club team that next day was to shoot a clay-pigeon +match against Yale before the game. He had strict orders to go to bed +early, and keep his eye clear for the next morning. At Dick Stoughton's +able suggestion, however, he hunted up a member of the Yale +shooting-team, and agreed to pair off with him. The excellence of this +fair parliamentary procedure forcibly struck all the representative +shots of both universities, except the captains. The captains of both +teams at first stormed, and swore that none of their men who stayed up +late or indulged in other startling innovations on the eve of battle, +should be allowed to shoot on the morrow. When they found, however, that +all their substitutes had "paired" also, they went off arm in arm, and +were found later in a corner with a large earnest bottle between them. +Altogether, as Burleigh said, "it was a very enjoyable occasion."</p> + +<p>Next morning the clay-pigeon match came off, as usual, on the grounds of +the Springfield Gun Club. It resulted in a close and glorious victory +for Harvard, as the Yale team shot a little bit worse. It was a rather +costly triumph, however, for both teams with their supporters drove back +in a barge to the Massasoit House, and there had another meeting at the +expense of the victors. Those Harvard-Yale shooting-matches are a very +pleasant sport, and prolific of the best of feeling.</p> + +<p>Before it was time to start for the battle-ground at Hampden Park, +certain financial transactions took place at the hotel. The slender +balance at the Cambridge National Bank, standing in the name of John +Rattleton, had been wiped out on the previous day, and most of it was +now deposited at the office of the Massasoit House in the joint names of +J. Rattleton and a man from New Haven, to become later the sole property +of one or the other. As Jack turned away from the clerk's desk, he met +the steady Holworthy face to face, and looked guilty.</p> + +<p>"Have you been betting all your quarter's income as usual, you jackass?" +demanded Holworthy.</p> + +<p>"No, only what is left of it," said Rattleton. "Might as well. If I +didn't bet it, I should have to lend it all to the rest of the gang, if +we get beaten. And suppose we win, as we are almost sure to, and I +hadn't taken a blue cent out of New Haven, and had to pay for my own +celebration; how should I feel then?" he demanded, triumphantly.</p> + +<p>"Will you ever grow up?" asked Holworthy, shaking his head. "Don't come +running to me if we get thrashed, that is all. I hope you have kept your +return ticket to Cambridge."</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes, I have that," answered Rattleton, reassuringly; "and I have +twenty-five dollars that I sha'n't put up unless I can get it up even. +These fellows want odds here, but I think I can find even money on the +field."</p> + +<p>The Yale men are prudent bettors, however, and Jack did not "find even +money" at Hampden Park. In fact, at the last minute he could not get a +taker at any odds that even he was willing to offer. So he kept his last +twenty-five dollars, and took his seat with his friends, feeling that he +had not done his full duty.</p> + +<p>All the morning the trains from New Haven, from Boston, from New York, +from everywhere within a six-hour radius, had been pouring their heavy +loads into Springfield. The north side of Hampden Park was a +crimson-dotted mass, nearly ten thousand strong; the south side was +equally banked up with blue, and the two colors ran into each other at +the ends. It is never weary waiting for the foot-ball game to begin, +when the weather is good. It is amusing to see the grads come swarming +to the standard. Familiar and popular faces turn up, that have been out +of college only a year or two, and their owners are greeted +enthusiastically by their late companions. There, too, come numbers of +faces far more widely known, those of governors, congressmen, judges, +architects, and clergymen. Other faces, not so conspicuous, are +apparently equally interesting over the top of glowing bunches of +Jacqueminots, or of violets, as the case may be. Jack Rattleton's +terrier Blathers, who was rarely separated from his master on any +occasion, took more interest in a big dog with a blue blanket on the +other side of the field, a familiar figure at recent foot-ball games.</p> + +<p>At about half past two o'clock a great cheer rolled simultaneously along +both sides of the field, and there trotted into the lists twenty-two +young specimens of this "dyspeptic, ice-water-drinking" nation. It is +sometimes said that Americans are overworked and deteriorated from the +physical standard of the race; but as these youths of the Western branch +pulled off their sweaters and faced each other, they did not look a very +degenerate brood. Harvard had the ball and formed a close "wedge," Yale +deployed in open line of battle. For a moment they stood there, all +crouching forward, their heads well down, their great limbs tense, all +straining for the word to spring at each other. There was not a sound +around the field. "Play!" called the referee, and the Harvard wedge shot +forward, and crashed with a sound of grinding canvas into the mass of +blue-legged bodies that rushed to meet it.</p> + +<p>For nearly three quarters of an hour the mimic battle was fought back +and forth along the white-barred field. All the tactics of war were +there employed; the centre was pierced, the flanks were turned, heavy +columns were instantaneously massed against any weak spot. It was even, +very even; but at last a long punt and a fumble gave Harvard the ball, +well in the enemy's territory. A well-supported run around the right end +by Jarvis, the famous flying half-back, two charges by Blake the +terrible line-breaker, and a wedge bang through the centre drove the +ball to Yale's five-yard line. Another gain of his length by the tall +Rivers. Another. Then with their backs on their very line the Yale men +rallied in a way they have. Down, no gain. Now for one good push or a +drop kick! Time. The first half of the game was over and neither side +had scored.</p> + +<p>"Everything is lovely," declared Hudson. "We'll have the wind with us +next half. We've had the best of it so far, as it is. It's a sure thing +now." That was the general feeling among the Harvard supporters, and +every one was happy. To the excited spectators the interval was a +grateful relief, almost a necessary one to little Gray, who was nearly +beside himself. He moaned every now and then over his physical inability +to carry the Crimson in the lists.</p> + +<p>After fifteen minutes' rest, the giants lined up again. The wind did +seem to make a difference, for the play from the start was in Yale's +ground. Jarvis the runner, who had been saved a good deal in the first +half, was now used with telling effect.</p> + +<p>Within fifteen minutes, an exchange of punts brought the ball to Yale's +thirty-yard line. After three downs Spofford dropped back as though for +a kick, and the Yale full-back retreated for the catch. Instead of the +expected kick, Rivers the guard charged for the left end, and the blue +line concentrated on that point to meet him, when suddenly Jarvis, with +the ball tucked under his arm, was seen going like a whirlwind around +the right, well covered by his supports. The Yale left-end was knocked +off his legs, and the whole crimson bank of spectators rose to its feet +with a roar, as it realized that Jarvis had circled the end. The Yale +halfs had been drawn to their right, and every one knew that with Jarvis +once past the forwards, no one could run him down.</p> + +<p>On he went at top speed for the longed-for touch-line. The full-back, +however, was heading him off, he had outrun his interferers, and a Yale +'Varsity full-back is not apt to miss a clear tackle in the open. They +came together close to the line. Just as his adversary crouched for his +hips, Jarvis leaped high from the ground, and hurled himself forward, +head first. The Yale man, like a hawk, "nailed" him in the air, but his +weight carried him on, and they both fell with a fearful shock—over the +line! The next minute they were buried under a pile of men.</p> + +<p>Then did all the Harvard hosts shout with a mighty shout that made the +air tremble. For five minutes dignified men, old and young, cheered and +hugged each other, and acted as they never do on any other occasion, +except perhaps a college boat-race. The two elevens had grouped around +the spot where the touch-down had been made. Suddenly the pandemonium +ceased as the knot of players opened, and a limp form was carried out +from among them. "It's Jarvis!" ran along the crowd, followed by an +anxious murmur. A substitute ran back to the grand stand and shouted, +"nothing serious, only his collar-bone." Those near the place where the +plucky half-back was borne off the field could see that his face was +pale, but supremely happy, and he smiled faintly as he heard the cheers +of thousands, and his own name coupled with that of his Alma Mater.</p> + +<p>The touch-down had been made almost at the corner too far aside for the +try for goal to succeed. Spofford's kick was a splendid attempt, but the +ball struck the goal post.</p> + +<p>Then the battle began again. The Harvard team had suffered an +irreparable loss in the fall of the famous Jarvis, but the score was +four to nothing in its favor, and all it needed to do now was to hold +its own. The Crimson was on the crest, and it was for the Blue to come +up hill. Every one on the north side was elated and confident. Then +began a struggle grim and great. The Yale men closed up and went in for +the last chance. There was no punting for them now, the wind was against +them; but they had the heavier weight and well they used every ounce of +it. Steadily, as the Old Guard trod over its slain at Waterloo, did the +Blue wedge drive its way, rod by rod, towards the Harvard line. And as +the fierce red Britons tore at Napoleon's devoted column, so did the +Crimson warriors leap on that earth-stained phalanx. The rushers +strained against it, Blake would plunge into and stagger it, Rivers and +Spofford would throw their great bodies flat under the trampling feet, +and bring the whole mass down over them. At last there would be a waver +in the advance, three forward struggles checked and shattered, and on +the fourth down, the ball would be Harvard's. On the first line up with +the ball in Harvard's possession, would be heard the sound of Spofford's +unerring foot against the leather and the brown oval would go curving +and spinning over the heads of the rushers, far back into Yale's +territory, with the Harvard ends well under it. A great "Oh!" of relief +would go up from the north side. Then those Yale bull-dogs would begin +all over again. Again and again did they fight their way almost to the +Harvard line, only to be driven all the way back by a long Spofford +punt.</p> + +<p>"How those Elis do fight!" exclaimed Gray in admiration. "Don't they," +admitted Burleigh; "and isn't it nice to be able to be magnanimous and +admire them? What a lot of credit you can give a fellow when you are +licking him."</p> + +<p>"Those chaps aren't thrashed yet, my boy," said Holworthy. "They won't +be, either, until the game is called, and, by Jove, they may not be +then."</p> + +<p>This observation was perfectly true. The Waterloo simile extended no +further than the appearance of battle. A Yale touch-down would tie the +game, and if made near the goal would probably win it. For the fourth +time the New Haven men struggled to the Cantabrigian twenty-yard line. +There had been many delays in the game, and the short November afternoon +had grown dark. A bad pass by the Harvard quarterback, a slip, a fumble +by Spofford, might turn the result. The time was nearly up. The cheering +had died almost entirely; the excitement was too deep for that, and +every one was too breathless. A short gain for Yale.</p> + +<p>"Rattleton? Is Mr. Rattleton here?" called a messenger boy walking along +the front of the long stand.</p> + +<p>"Hullo, here. What's wanted?" answered Jack.</p> + +<p>"Telegram for you, sir," said the boy. Rattleton did not take his eyes +from the game while he tore open the envelope. Having opened it, he +glanced hurriedly at the message, then jumped to his feet with a +whistle. He had read:</p> + +<blockquote><p>"Come to Massachusetts General Hospital immediately when back +from game.</p> + +<p>"<span class="smcap">Varnum.</span>"</p></blockquote> + +<p>"When does the next train leave for Boston?" he asked the boy.</p> + +<p>"There is one in a few minutes," was the answer.</p> + +<p>"Whoop it up for me, children," he said to the others, "I've got to +leave. Come along, Blathers."</p> + +<p>"Why, Jack, what's up?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know. Varnum wants me," and he jumped to the ground, pulling +the dog after him. "The poor devil may be dying for all I know," he +added to himself, as he made for the gate; "but there is no need of +spoiling their fun by telling 'em."</p> + +<p>He stretched his long legs for the station at a rate that made his +four-footed chum gallop to keep up with him. The train was just +starting. As he jumped aboard, he heard, from the direction of Hampden +Park, the distant roar of ten thousand throats. "Hear that?" he +exclaimed to the brakeman, "either the game is over or Yale has scored." +Not a very enlightening conclusion.</p> + +<p>There was a dining-car on the train, and the sight of it reminded Jack +that he had had no lunch. He did not need to be reminded that he was +extremely thirsty also, and actually a little worn by the afternoon's +excitement. He entered the moving restaurant, and with one of his +accustomed happy thoughts at such moments, was about to order an +attractive lunch and a pint of champagne. Suddenly it occurred to him +that if that noise had gone up from the wrong side of Hampden Park, he +had just twenty-five dollars to carry him over the Christmas vacation +and through January. "Furthermore," he reflected, with a knowledge born +of bitter experience, "if that is the Eli yell, there won't be a +mother's son in Cambridge, that I know well enough to borrow from, who +will have any thing to lend,—except perhaps old father Hol. I suppose +he will step into the breach as usual and pay our car-fares, but he +can't support the whole gang. Hang it, I wish I was on an allowance +again; then the governor would pay my bills at Christmas and give me a +blowing up. This being my own paymaster isn't what I expected when I was +a Soph."</p> + +<p>He concluded that a sandwich would support life until he got to Boston, +where he could find a precarious credit. He also decided that beer was +an excellent beverage, at any rate until he learned the result of the +game. After this unusually prudent repast he pulled a cigar out of his +pocket, and smoked it carefully in the thought that he might not have +another like it for some time—at his own expense. However, he +remembered consolingly that his half-colored meerschaum needed +attention.</p> + +<p>The moment Jack arrived in Boston he jumped into a herdic and drove +straight to the hospital. He inquired for Varnum, and, after a little +red tape had been untied, was shown into one of the public wards.</p> + +<p>At the end of a long room on a narrow bed was Varnum, looking very +white, his eyes closed. He opened them as Rattleton and the nurse +approached softly, and his face seemed to light up a little when he saw +Jack.</p> + +<p>"How was the game?" he asked, faintly.</p> + +<p>"Splendid. Harvard four, Yale nothing," answered Jack, promptly. He did +not think it worth while to mention that he had left before the end.</p> + +<p>"Good," murmured Varnum. "Bowled over by a wagon. Awfully sorry to bring +you here, Rattleton, but they thought at first I might be done for, and +I don't know any one——"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I know, old man; cut all that," broke in Jack. "Don't tire +yourself talking. Is there anything I can do for you right away?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. There is a sick boy at 62 Sloven Street. Tenement house. Jimmy +Haggerty. I promised to see him. There is a can of wine-jelly and a +book. They must have brought them here when they picked me up. Will you +take them to him and tell him that I am laid up? It is not exactly in +your line, Rattleton," he added, with a smile, "but it won't give you +much trouble."</p> + +<p>"Not a bit," declared Jack, cheerfully. "Great play for Phil. XI., you +know. I can make a special report on the Sloven Street district, and it +ought to pull me through the course."</p> + +<p>"You mustn't talk to him too long, sir," said the nurse.</p> + +<p>"All right, I'll go right off. 62 Sloven St.—Haggerty. You make +yourself easy, old man, I'll look after all your indigent kids for you, +and I'll tell the other fellows you are here. I'll be back soon."</p> + +<p>In answer to Rattleton's inquiries, the nurse told him how Varnum had +been knocked down and run over by a runaway team in a narrow street. He +had been brought to the hospital, and the doctors had at first thought +his injuries fatal. Subsequent examination, however, had proved that his +condition was not so serious. At his request the telegram had been sent +to Rattleton. Jack left directions to have Varnum put in a private room +when he could be moved, and every comfort given him. "And, by the way," +he added, "don't let him know that there is any expense about it. If he +objects, tell him the public wards are chuck-full; tell him there is +small-pox in 'em; tell him any good lie that occurs to you. Send the +bill to me."</p> + +<p>The jelly and the book had not been brought in the ambulance, and no one +knew anything about them. So Rattleton, stopping at the hospital office +for Blathers, who had been there deposited, went first to a hotel, for +all the shops were closed. From the restaurant he replaced the +wine-jelly, and added some cake and a bottle of champagne. "I don't know +much about what a sick boy ought to have," he thought, "but fizz is +always good."</p> + +<p>At the newspaper-stand he bought all the picture papers, and found a +colored edition of nursery rhymes, which he concluded would be just the +thing. "Now we are all right," he said, "come along, Blathers."</p> + +<p>Jack had been very ready and cheerful about his mission when talking to +Varnum, but he had misgivings about it as he took his way to Sloven +Street, in the heart of the poorest tenement-house district. "I suppose +it is easy enough just to leave this stuff and come away," he thought; +"but I am sure to make some fool break." He knew there were lots of men +in college who "went in for that sort of thing"; but he had had no +experience of that kind himself, and Varnum was the only man he knew +well, who had. He had a vague idea that Varnum held prayer-meetings +among the poor, and preached as well as ministered, and he feared he +might be called upon to do something of the kind himself.</p> + +<p>It was quite dark, so he heard only one or two requests to shoot the +dude, as he was passing lamp-lights, and to his infinite relief nothing +was thrown at Blathers. He had expected certainly to have a row on the +dog's account. In front of 62 Sloven Street he found a small boy smoking +a cigarette, and inquired from him whether Jimmy Haggerty lived within.</p> + +<p>"Sure!" assented the youngster, removing the cigarette from his lips and +holding the lighted end for Blathers to smell. "Is you one o' de +Ha'vards?" "Ye-es," acknowledged Jack, doubtfully, feeling that he was +deceiving the little man; for he suspected that he was not exactly the +kind of "a Ha'vard" that was expected in those quarters.</p> + +<p>"Well say, how did de game come out? I ain't seen de bulletin-boards."</p> + +<p>Jack's heart leaped towards the boy at once; he discovered that there +was a bond of sympathy between them after all.</p> + +<p>"I don't know," he answered; "I came away before the end. It was four to +nothing in our favor then."</p> + +<p>"Chamesy Haggerty lives on de tird floor. I'll show ye up." Jack +followed his pilot up the dark, smelly stairs, answering questions all +the way as to the foot-ball game.</p> + +<p>"A-ah, ye can't do notin' widout Jarvis," commented the youngster, upon +hearing of the half-back's injury.</p> + +<p>"Dat's a nice lookin' purp yer got," he said, eyeing Blathers, as they +arrived at the third floor. "Guess he's a good 'un to fight, ain't he? +Le 'me take care of him for yer, while you're inside."</p> + +<p>Jack did not accept this kind offer. His guide, pointing to a door, +said: "Well, dat's Chimmie's. I ain't goin' in, 'cause he's got scarlet +fever."</p> + +<p>"The devil he has!" exclaimed Jack.</p> + +<p>"Yare; leastways dat's what dey all say. Wait till I get down-stairs +'fore yer open de door." And with a vain whistle to Blathers he +disappeared down-stairs.</p> + +<p>Rattleton knocked at the door indicated as "Chimmie's," and opened it in +response to a voice within. The small room was pretty well lighted by a +lamp, the first thing that Jack's eye fell on. It was Varnum's +student-lamp; Jack knew it at once from a caricature he had himself +drawn on the shade. A hard-faced, slovenly old woman was sitting near a +stove, and looked at him in surprise as he entered.</p> + +<p>"Is this Mrs. Haggerty?" he asked.</p> + +<p>"I am," she answered; "what do you want?"</p> + +<p>"Mr. Varnum sent these things," replied Rattleton. "He couldn't come +himself because he has been hurt, and is in the hospital."</p> + +<p>"Is that so? Sure, I'm sorry to hear that," said the woman with real +regret in her tone. "Mr. Varnum has been kind to us, I tell you. He's +helped me with my boy Jimmy here ever since he's been sick."</p> + +<p>"Dat's too bad," complained a thin voice from the corner. On the other +side of the lamp was a bed, from under the dirty quilt of which +protruded a little pale face. "Ain't he coming to read to me? What's de +matter wid him?"</p> + +<p>Jack explained, with an accompaniment of sympathetic "tut-tuts" from the +woman and more forcible expressions from the sick boy.</p> + +<p>"I'm obliged to him for the things," said the former, as Rattleton +handed her his burden. She looked at the bottle with a puzzled and +half-frightened air.</p> + +<p>"That's the first time ever Mr. Varnum give us anythin' like that. The +poor young feller must be dizzed, by the hurt of him. I'll hide that." +And to Rattleton's horror she shoved the bottle of Irroy under the +stove.</p> + +<p>"Would you do me a bit of a favor, sir," she asked, "like Mr. Varnum +would do?"</p> + +<p>"With pleasure,—that is if I can," answered Jack, cautiously, wondering +what she wanted, and with a dread that it might be in the nature of +religious services.</p> + +<p>"I got to go out to see the doctor, and I'd take it friendly would you +sit wid th' boy, till I get back. I'll not be long."</p> + +<p>"Why, yes, of course," said Rattleton, feeling how much worse it might +have been.</p> + +<p>The woman took down her shawl, and throwing it over her head, drew out +the bottle she had just hidden, and tucked it under her arm out of +sight. "I'll ask the doctor whether this is good for the kid," she +muttered. "If Jamsey don't need it, I can sell it. I know some one else +it ain't good for."</p> + +<p>Opening the door she first looked out cautiously, then hurried +down-stairs.</p> + +<p>"Wonder what I ought to do now?" thought Rattleton. Blathers was over at +the bed making friends with the patient.</p> + +<p>"Dis your dog? nice one, ain't he. Is you one o' de student fellers?"</p> + +<p>Jack admitted that he was, knowing that the word "student" was used in +its generic, not its strict sense.</p> + +<p>"You're a friend o' Mr. Varnum's, eh? He's nice, ain't he?"</p> + +<p>Rattleton agreed emphatically that Varnum <i>was</i> "nice."</p> + +<p>"Yare," continued the boy, "he's a daisy. He comes in and reads to me +all de time. Mr. Talcot, he comes too sometimes; but he ain't as nice as +Mr. Varnum. Hullo, you been to de game?"</p> + +<p>This last question was elicited by the sight of the little bit of +crimson ribbon stuck through Rattleton's buttonhole,—an <i>insignium</i> +brought from the seat of war. In cheerful compliance with the demand to +hear all about it, Jack sat down by the bed, and recounted, as well as +he could, all the details of the afternoon's battle. He described +Jarvis' splendid run, and how he had scored and at the same time broken +his collar-bone in his great plunge for Harvard and glory. As he told of +it he thought of Varnum lying alone in the hospital.</p> + +<p>"Would you like me to read to you?" suggested Jack, when the foot-ball +subject had been exhausted.</p> + +<p>"You bet," assented the patient. "I ain't heard no readin' all day. +Mudder can't read; and Sis ain't been here."</p> + +<p>"Here's a book I brought," said Rattleton, picking up the +bright-pictured nursery rhymes. "I don't know whether it's interesting," +he added, doubtfully.</p> + +<p>For a little while he read the classics of <i>Mother Goose</i> in his gentle +drawl, until the boy interrupted him.</p> + +<p>"Say, what sort o' baby's stuff is dat, anyhow? I don't t'ink much o' +dat. I'd sooner hear <i>Dare-Devil Dick</i> dan dat."</p> + +<p>"I am inclined to agree with you," replied Rattleton. "Really, you see, +I hadn't read this for so long that I had forgotten just what it was +like. Let's have <i>Dare-Devil Dick</i>."</p> + +<p>"I ain't got it now. I give it away. Mr. Varnum, he gi' me a book he +said was better, and I guess it is. It's got an A-1 scrapper in it, too, +dat could do Dare-Devil Dick wid one hand. He didn't kill so many +people, but I t'ink he was a better feller. 'Dere it is at de foot o' de +bed."</p> + +<p>Rattleton took up the book indicated. It was <i>Westward Ho!</i> He sat down +again by the bed, and opened the book at a place where there was a mark. +Then the two went out from the little squalid room, and sailed away over +the Spanish Main with tall Amyas Leigh and his good men of Devon. For +over half an hour the little invalid street-arab and the hare-brained +Harvardian were both wrapped in the spell of the apostle to the +Anglo-Saxon youths.</p> + +<p>Before Rattleton had finished reading he heard the door open and close, +and a rustle of skirts. Looking up he saw, not the old woman, but a +rather gaudily-dressed young one. Jack thought he had seen her face +before somewhere. That was quite possible, I regret to say.</p> + +<p>"Hullo, Sis," said the boy. "Me sister," he explained to Rattleton. The +young woman looked with surprise at the latter, as he rose to his feet. +Her eye glanced at his stick and his bull terrier, and all over his +clothes, from his shoes up; then narrowly scrutinized the face of the +thoroughly uncomfortable youth. Though the shyest of men, this was the +first time he had ever felt very bashful in such a presence. Then she +asked, disdainfully, "What's one o' your kind doing here?"</p> + +<p>Jack colored to his hair. "I—I don't know exactly, myself," he +stammered. "You see I came to take the place of my friend who is ill," +he explained, apologetically.</p> + +<p>"I know you now," said the girl, her look softening a little. "You're +the sport that done up Dutch Jake for kickin' a kid one night in +Stuber's restaurant."</p> + +<p>"I <i>have</i> been in there occasionally," Jack confessed. He was going to +add "I am sorry to say," but remembered that might be rude. "I promised +Mrs.—er—Mrs. Haggerty, to sit here until she returned," he continued, +"but I suppose I am not needed now?"</p> + +<p>"No, much obliged to you, I'll stay with Jimmy till she gets back."</p> + +<p>Jack took up his hat and stick, but paused a moment awkwardly as he +turned to leave.</p> + +<p>"Would you—er—would you mind," he said, hesitatingly, +"my—er—my—er—my <i>lending</i> a little money—for the boy, you know?"</p> + +<p>The girl laughed bitterly. "I guess we can stand it," she said. "If you +never spent your money worse than that, I'm mistaken. You can give us +the tin. We ain't proud."</p> + +<p>"Thanks," murmured Jack, vaguely feeling that he was being helped out of +an awkward attempt. He pulled out the contents of his pocket, both bills +and change. "I dare say you <i>will</i> spend it better than I."</p> + +<p>Just as he was handing the money to the girl, there was a knock on the +door, and in answer to her heedless "come in" a man entered. It was a +classmate, named Talcot, whom Jack knew only by sight as one of Varnum's +"Y. M. C. A. pals." He stopped in astonishment, and then frowned, as he +recognized Rattleton, and saw him giving the money.</p> + +<p>"Mr. Rattleton, I believe?"</p> + +<p>Jack looked him in the eye, and nodded stiffly.</p> + +<p>"Don't you think, sir," asked the worthy student, with an indignant +sneer, "that you had better confine yourself to your expensive clubs, +and to your regular haunts in town?"</p> + +<p>Jack colored again, the shade of his little ribbon; but this time it was +not a blush. He bit his lip for a moment, and gripped his stick hard.</p> + +<p>"I am afraid I had," he said very slowly, as he moved towards the door. +"But I will tell you one thing, Mr. Talcot," he added as he paused in +the doorway. "I am an awful fool, I know, but I am not mean enough to +think that every damn fool must be a damn rascal. I will give you an +opportunity later to apologize. Good-night, Jimmy. Come along, +Blathers," and he strode down-stairs.</p> + +<p>"Pheugh," puffed Rattleton, as he got out in the grateful fresh air +again. "I got it in the neck twice in that round. Guess I'd better keep +out of that kind of a ring hereafter."</p> + +<p>He went back to the hospital, and found that Varnum was asleep, and +resting comfortably. "Now, by Jove, Blathers, we'll have dinner!" he +exclaimed, joyfully, as he left the hospital. "I'm nearly dead," he +thought, "we'll go to the Victoria and have a bang-up din, and a bot—No +we won't, either," he suddenly concluded, as he thrust his hands into +his pockets, "we'll go to Billy Parks." He had a bill at Park's. There +was also a fair prospect of his walking out to Cambridge that night, +unless he met a friend; for he had forgotten to keep even a car-fare. +Holworthy always declared that Rattleton would forget his head some day, +and Jack now expressed a fear of that nature himself, when he discovered +the void in his pockets.</p> + +<p>Annoyance never chummed long with Jack Rattleton, however, and it had +left him by the time he got to Park's restaurant. He looked over the +bill-of-fare with the delight of anticipation and expended a good deal +of careful thought in his selection.</p> + +<p>"Let's see, shall I fool with Little Neck clams? Yes, I can have those +while they are cooking the rest. Mock turtle soup, and then filets of +sole; they are mock, too, but they are very good. Then bring me some of +that chicken pasty. Yes, you can call it <i>vol-au-vent</i> if you like, but +don't stick me extra for the name; I would just as lief eat it in +English. Then I want half a black duck. Tell the cook it is for me, and +I don't want coot. After that I'll decide as to the next course. Bring +me a half bottle of Mumm, and a long glass with chopped ice in it, and +bring that right away. Oh! by the way," he called, as the waiter was +starting off with the order, "find out at the desk how the game came +out. Gad, I'd nearly forgotten it!"</p> + +<p>"Why, sir," replied the waiter, "haven't you heard? Too bad. Six to +four. Yale made a touch-down in the last five minutes, and kicked a goal +from it."</p> + +<p>"Wha-at!" exclaimed Jack. "Hi! waiter! Hold on a minute; come back here! +Make that order one English chop and a mug of musty."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_WAKING_NIGHTMARE_OF_HOLLIS_HOLWORTHY" id="THE_WAKING_NIGHTMARE_OF_HOLLIS_HOLWORTHY"></a>THE WAKING NIGHTMARE OF HOLLIS HOLWORTHY.</h2> + + +<p>Holworthy had accepted an invitation to dine at the Tremonts' in Boston. +There was nothing remarkable about that; but so had Jack Rattleton, and +that <i>was</i> remarkable. He had done so chiefly on Holworthy's account. He +rarely went anywhere in Boston society, as he held that to do so was a +waste of precious time given to him for a college education. He could +employ his evenings much better in Cambridge in his study, with a select +party, or in one of the clubs. True, he often went over the bridge; but +that, as he said, was always with some earnest purpose, such as a study +of the drama at the Howard Athenæum, or to attend a benefit of Prof. +Murphy or some other revered instructor. He never frittered away his +moments in the vapidity of a polite ballroom. Dinners he especially +abhorred (except, of course, serious masculine dinners); chiefly because +dinner engagements had to be kept, and worse, kept punctually. For that +reason they were, in Jack's estimation, as bad as lectures to a man on +probation. He had decided to bind himself to this dinner, however, +because he knew the Tremonts very well, and happened to know they were +going to invite Holworthy, and also happened to know that some one else +was going to be thereabout whom Holworthy did not like to be chaffed. He +foresaw a possible opportunity of "seeing Hol do the devoted and +breaking him up"; so for this benevolent purpose he determined to +sacrifice himself.</p> + +<p>Now, Holworthy knew naught of this, and when Rattleton casually +mentioned to him that he (Jack) had been bidden to a dinner at the +Tremonts', and asked him for the most approved form for a lying regret, +he used all his powers of persuasion to make Rattleton accept. He +preached a sermon on the evil effects of Jack's Bohemian ways and +neglected opportunities. He said he was going to that same dinner and +would bring Jack back in a cab. Finally, after much objection, and after +getting as many bribes out of his mentor as possible, Rattleton agreed +to go, and also agreed to do his best not to be late.</p> + +<p>On this latter point Hollis spent half an hour. He insisted, and +impressed upon Jack in every way, that a man could do nothing more +outrageous than to keep his hostess waiting for him for dinner. +Holworthy, it may be observed, had been brought up with old-fashioned +ideas of good breeding. His father had taught him never to fail, or be +late at a dinner or a duel, if once engaged for either. He cautioned +Rattleton not to put his faith in excuses, for they were always weak and +as naught. "Everybody," said he, "knows you are lying, and you know that +they know you are lying, and they know that you know that they know you +are lying."</p> + +<p>"That's so," acknowledged Jack, with a melancholy shake of his head. "At +one time, when I went in for these vanities, I used to have some pretty +good excuses, but they are all played out now. I have broken down every +cab in Cambridge, given every horse the blind staggers, and ruined the +reputation for sobriety of every driver. I have broken my own leg once +or twice, and limped painfully into the room; that was very effective, +until I once favored the wrong leg. The electric cars were a great help +when they first came in, but I have long since dislocated every trolly +on the line."</p> + +<p>"Well, above all," said Holworthy, "if you <i>should</i> happen to be late, +don't try that worn out chestnut about the drawbridge being open, as I +heard a poor young Freshman do the other night, with a happy +confidence."</p> + +<p>"Do you take <i>me</i> for a Freshman?" responded Jack, indignantly. "At the +first dinner I went to when I first came up, I started to use the +drawbridge, and the old grad. with whom I was dining took the words out +of my mouth and then laughed at me."</p> + +<p>"The best thing for you to do," suggested Hollis, as his final advice, +"is to get a chain and make yourself fast to your bedstead from now +until the evening of the dinner. I'll come round and unchain you when it +is time to dress. At any rate, I shall endeavor to keep you in sight all +that day." All of which Rattleton took humbly, and promised to do his +best.</p> + +<p>But on the afternoon of the appointed day Jack was not to be found. +Holworthy hunted in vain for him at all his usual haunts, and in the +evening began dressing himself with many misgivings. While he was still +in his room, his chum Charles Rivers came in from the afternoon's work +in the University boat. Holworthy complained to him of the way in which +the man Rattleton was turning his hair gray.</p> + +<p>"Looking for Lazy Jack, are you?" laughed Rivers, reassuringly; "well, +he was in a four-oar above the Brighton Abattoir not very long ago. I +couldn't see him, because I had to keep my eyes in the boat, but I could +hear him objurgating Steve Hudson for hitting up the stroke. We passed +them as we were pulling back from Watertown. It wasn't half an hour +ago."</p> + +<p>Holworthy made a short remark about Rattleton that has nothing to do +with the story. "I have only just time to get into the Tremonts' now," +said he, as he threw on his cloak, "but I will stop at the shiftless +beggar's room before I go in. He may possibly have got back and +dressed."</p> + +<p>He hurried along Harvard Street, and on the corner ran into a lot of men +coming up from the river. Sauntering along in their flannels, perfectly +happy after the glorious exercise and bath, he saw Hudson, Randolph, +Stoughton,—and the long form of Mr. Rattleton, quite as usual, hands in +his pockets, head thrown back, a smile on his face, content in his soul, +and nothing on his mind. There was a sudden change in his aspect, +however, when he caught sight of Holworthy's silk hat and white tie. He +stopped, aghast, with a "By Jove!" and then, "Oh, the devil!"</p> + +<p>"Yes," exclaimed Holworthy, hotly, "and that is just where you will go +some day from sheer carelessness. That is the one appointment you'll +keep,—though, I believe, you will be late for your own funeral."</p> + +<p>"Don't wait for me, old man. I'll be there as soon as I can," answered +Jack, ambiguously.</p> + +<p>"Wait for you!" Hollis cried, "I wash my hands of you! If you choose to +disgrace yourself, it is none of my business. As it is now, I may be +late myself," and he boarded a car for Boston.</p> + +<p>Now it was so that Holworthy did not know the Tremonts. They were old +friends of his family, and he ought to have called on them when he first +came to college; but he had not, and they had been abroad since his +Freshman year. He was not even perfectly certain of where they lived, +and he had forgotten, in his hurry on leaving his room, to look at the +address on the invitation! He thought of this fact when he was over the +bridge and well into Boston. However, he pretty clearly remembered +having sent his acceptance to 142 Marconwealth Street. It was either 142 +or 242; but to make sure he decided to look it up in a Blue Book. He, +therefore, got out at Park Square and went into a druggist's, to consult +the little directory.</p> + +<p>He first looked up 142 Marconwealth Street, and found the name of Jones. +Then he looked for 242, 342, 442,—he felt there was a 42 in the +combination somehow,—but all were vacant of Tremonts. He tried the 42's +of other streets, but in vain. Then, in desperation, he ran down the +whole list of Tremonts. Reader, dost thou know aught of the ancient town +of Boston? If not, look some time into a Boston Blue Book, open +anywhere, and see what Holworthy saw. In Boston, when they want to +describe a particularly luxuriant forest, they say that its leaves are +as the Tremonts. Hollis was not even sure of the first name of his +intended host; he thought it was Mayflor. There were three Mayflor +Tremonts on Marconwealth Street, one at each end and one in the middle. +Of other Tremonts on that street there were fourteen.</p> + +<p>The cold sweat stood on Holworthy's brow in the most approved style. It +was already half past seven, the hour of dinner, for he had spent +several minutes in his Blue Book research. Only one plan occurred to +him. He bought the book at an extravagant price and jumped into a cab, +determined to hunt down that dinner if he had to go to every Tremont in +Boston. He began with the Mayflor Tremonts. When the servant answered +the bell, he would ask if there was a dinner-party going on in that +house. He was not sure whether he was taken for a lunatic or a society +reporter, but did not care which. None of the Mayflor Tremonts were +giving dinners on that evening. Then he began at one end of Marconwealth +Street, and tried every Tremont in order.</p> + +<p>All this time the minutes were joining the past eternity, and he, Hollis +Holworthy, was getting later and later for dinner. At the sixth house, +however, as a maid opened the door, he heard the sounds of gentle +revelry and small talk, and his heart leaped for joy. The maid said, +"Yes, we have a party here to-night." He rushed back and paid for his +cab, not stopping for the paltry change due him, amounting to half that +he gave. He left his coat and hat in the hall to save time and, without +asking further questions, strode by the maid into the dining-room. He +was twenty-five minutes late, and glad they had not waited for him.</p> + +<p>Going up to the hostess, he began, "Mrs. Tremont, I can't tell you how +mortified—" the table was filled! There was no vacant chair! Then he +noticed that the hostess was looking a little blank, though smiling and +polite. "I beg your pardon," he said, as his heart sank, "have I made +some awful mistake? My name is Holworthy; did you not invite me to +dinner this evening, or have I got the wrong house?—or the wrong +night?"</p> + +<p>"I am afraid you <i>have</i> made a mistake, Mr. Holworthy," replied the +lady, "and I think it must be in the house."</p> + +<p>"Well, can you tell me," asked the blushing and desperate youth, trying +to keep a groan out of his question, "whether you happen to know of any +other Mrs. Tremont who is giving a dinner to-night? I have lost the +address, and I am dinnerless in the streets of Boston."</p> + +<p>The hostess laughed a little at Holworthy's despair, but relieved him by +saying that her cousin, Mrs. Mayflor Tremont, had said something that +day about a dinner.</p> + +<p>"But I have been to the houses of three Mrs. Mayflor Tremonts on this +street," protested poor Hollis. "Is there another one?"</p> + +<p>"Why, Hol," spoke up Ernest Gray, an intimate friend, who was present to +Holworthy's great comfort, "that is where Jack Rattleton told me that +you and he were going—the Mayflor Tremont's, 142 Marconwealth Street."</p> + +<p>"That is just what I thought," said Holworthy, "but the Blue Book gives +one Jones at 142."</p> + +<p>"Oh!" explained Mrs. Tremont, "they have only just moved in, and their +name has not been changed in the Blue Book."</p> + +<p>"Then <i>that</i> was my ruin," Hollis exclaimed. "Thank you very much, +indeed. I hope you will forgive me for making such a scene," and he +retreated with as much dignity and haste as could be combined. He was +too much relieved to mind Gray's remark, "That is one on you, Hol," or +the laugh that he heard as he got to the front door.</p> + +<p>His cab had only moved to the corner, and he hailed it again. The driver +repaid his recent generosity by getting him to 142 in less than three +minutes.</p> + +<p>Let us now see how it fared with Jack, the grasshopper. At the moment +when Holworthy took the car in Harvard Square, there was seen a rare +phenomenon of nature;—Rattleton showed acute animation. He went up +Harvard Street with two leaps to a block. Riley's cab, as usual, was +standing at the corner of Holyoke Street, and as Jack dashed by, he +yelled for Riley. The latter came tumbling out of Foster's, and, in +forty-three seconds and two fifths, had his chariot at the door of +Rattleton's staircase. Both Riley and his horse are as well drilled to +emergencies as are the men and steeds of a fire-engine. Jack reached his +room in record time, and only stopped to wash his face and hands. He +grabbed his evening clothes and shoes, a "boiled" shirt and tie, and was +in the cab almost as soon as it got to the door.</p> + +<p>"Riley," said he, "get me to 142 Marconwealth Street before Mr. +Holworthy, and I'll try and pay what I owe you this week. It is a matter +of life and death, and I expect you this day to do your duty. Don't be +beaten by an electric car."</p> + +<p>The latter part of this exhortation had its effect. Riley follows the +Golden Rule and never duns anybody, but his weak spots are his +professional pride and his sporting blood. Touch him there, and you will +travel in his cab as in the car of Ph[oe]bus. He has never lost the day +when it was possible for man and horse to save it. Ned Burleigh used to +say that he would back Riley's nag against Salvator, provided the former +should have behind him the cab, Riley, and a load. On this particular +occasion he fully maintained his reputation.</p> + +<p>While rushing towards Boston, Rattleton proceeded to dress. He at first +complimented himself on not having forgotten anything; but, when he came +to his shirt, behold, there were no studs! He had been wearing a soft +cheviot, and had only a collar button. The absence of sleeve buttons +would probably not be noticed, but he could not go to dinner with a +studless chest. For a minute he thought the game was up, wrecked by such +a little thing. Then an inspiration came to him. With his knife he cut +three little pearl buttons out of his under-shirt, leaving a piece +attached to each button. These he pushed through his shirt, and they +were held in place by the pieces of flannel at their backs. It had +always been suspected by his friends that Jack Rattleton really had +brains, though he never made the exertion to use them. It had even been +said that some time in an emergency he might show positive genius. He +looked at those improvised studs with satisfaction, as he reasoned to +himself that they would be taken for imitation buttons and, therefore, +go unnoticed. If they should be recognized as real, that would be all +the better; it would look like a new fashion, and one of most "swagger" +simplicity. He tied his cravat all right by feeling; but he had not +thought of a hair-brush, and his hair was all damp and on end after his +shower-bath at the boat-house. This did not trouble him, however, as he +was sure of finding a brush at the Tremonts, in the room where the men +would leave their coats.</p> + +<p>He had hardly finished this flying toilet when he arrived at the house, +not two minutes late. He instructed Riley to come back at ten, and that +the return trip would be "on Mr. Holworthy." In the dressing-room there +were hair-brushes, as he had expected, and he went down to the +drawing-room in faultless order, feeling that he had made a great +discovery. Undoubtedly a cab was just the place for a hurried man of +business, like himself, to dress.</p> + +<p>He called the attention of his hostess to his punctuality, and assured +her that such a thing in him was a sign of the greatest devotion. "You +see," said he, "when I am late, everyone says, 'Oh, it is only that +shiftless Jack Rattleton,' and when I am on time, I want the credit for +it. Now it is nothing particularly praiseworthy for a man like Holworthy +to be on time. If he should ever slip up, it might well be put down as +an insult, because he never forgets or dawdles. Some day his good +reputation will be the ruin of him. I think my system is the better." +After which airy persiflage, Rattleton noticed that Holworthy was not in +the room; and ten minutes later, when the latter was still absent, he +began to wish he had let airy persiflage alone. Everybody else had +arrived. Five minutes more went by, and when twenty minutes were gone +and no Holworthy, Jack went to Mrs. Tremont and told her how Hollis had +left Cambridge in plenty of time, and, in fact, had refused to wait for +him. "Something must have happened to him," he said, rather anxiously, +"and I am prepared to back up as strictly true any excuse he may offer, +for I can swear he left Cambridge more than an hour ago, and was coming +right here."</p> + +<p>"No accident to himself, I hope," replied Mrs. Tremont. "At any rate, I +think we had better go in, as I am sure Mr. Holworthy will feel more +comfortable if we do not wait for him."</p> + +<p>So in they went, Rattleton taking her whom Holworthy should have taken, +for Jack was one of two extra men.</p> + +<p>And Hollis, where was he? Suffering in the cab.</p> + +<p>Ten minutes later, as he went up the stoop of 142, an insidious policy +stole into Holworthy's brain. He had lost the invitation and mistaken +the number of the house,—why should he not have mistaken instead the +hour of dinner? Was that not better than to be ignorant of the address +of his hostess, upon whom he ought to have called long before this? He +was in good time for an eight o'clock dinner, and most dinners are at +eight nowadays. Then, too, Rattleton would be just about half an hour +late, and would probably be utterly unconcerned about it, and offer no +excuses. That would lend color to a suspicion that Mrs. Tremont had +herself made the mistake, in writing some of the invitations. He would +not need to tell any actual untruth—to say distinctly that he thought +dinner was at eight. He need only imply it, and apologize for his +evident mistake. It would be a pretty poor plea for a very bad crime, +but at any rate it was a more polite explanation than the real one, and +less ridiculous. Oh, Hollis Holworthy, that thou shouldst thus forget +the <i>veritas</i>, the watchword of thine Alma Mater!</p> + +<p>In the dressing-room was a straw hat with a colored ribbon. "Hullo," he +surmised, "Jack is here. Wonder if the rest of his outfit corresponds, +and he has come in his blazer." As he went into the dining-room, his eye +first lighted on that interesting person whom Mr. Davis has capitally +termed "A Girl He Knew." On her right was Rattleton, on her left a +vacant chair. She must have had to go in alone!</p> + +<p>With a look of gentle surprise and concern, that, he flattered himself, +was rather well done, he went up and saluted Mrs. Tremont.</p> + +<p>"Have I been mistaken," he asked, "in thinking that dinner was at eight +o'clock, or has my watch betrayed me?" There was no fib in this and what +could be more diplomatic?</p> + +<p>Mrs. Tremont stood it for a second, then she happened to catch sight of +Rattleton's face. It was too much for her, and she burst out laughing. +After all, it was the best thing to do.</p> + +<p>"Now, Mr. Holworthy, tell us what really happened, and we will believe +and forgive you. Jack, here, has testified to the time of your departure +from Cambridge, and you must fill in the interim somehow."</p> + +<p>Then Hollis made a clean breast of the whole thing, and made the tale of +his sufferings as moving as possible, finishing with a request for some +dust to put on his head. He was so humble that even Rattleton was sorry +for him; but the memory of many of Holworthy's lectures came to Jack and +he could not resist suggesting to Mrs. Tremont, as Hollis took his seat, +that as Holly's blood had run so cold she ought to have some soup warmed +up for him.</p> + +<p>That evening, on the way back to Cambridge in the cab, was spent one of +the pleasantest half hours of Rattleton's life. He told Holworthy how a +man could do nothing more outrageous than to keep his hostess waiting +for dinner. He said he had a very good chain that he used for his dog +Blathers, but which he could lend Hollis. He warned him some day that he +would surely go to the devil by his careless habits. "Above all," said +he, "never put your faith in excuses. Everybody knows you are lying, and +even if you don't know that they know, etc., you sometimes find out."</p> + +<p>Holworthy smoked his cigar vigorously without saying a word in reply. +When they arrived at their club in Cambridge he asked, resignedly, +"Well, what do you want for supper?"</p> + +<p>"I know I ought to take champagne," answered Jack, graciously, "but as +you are so very humble and I don't really want any more fizz, I will let +you off with a rarebit and beer. But don't you ever jump on me again."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_PLOT_AGAINST_BULLAM" id="THE_PLOT_AGAINST_BULLAM"></a>THE PLOT AGAINST BULLAM.</h2> + + +<p>Something had to be done about the case of Sergeant Bullam. For years he +had ruled his beat with a rod of iron. Many a noble spirit had fallen a +prey to his desire for notoriety and promotion. The slightest offence, +the most innocent or technical infringement of the law, was sufficient +pretext for him to indulge his thirst for student incarceration. The +<i>lettres de cachet</i> and the Bastile were nothing to Bullam and the +Cambridge jail. In the dark days when the ungrateful University town +went prohibition, the tyrant had revelled in his opportunities. He had +raided several of the club-houses and had charged Hollis Holworthy, the +president of one of the clubs, with keeping a liquor nuisance. Of course +this little joke on the superb Holworthy had exceedingly pleased all his +friends; but it did not excuse Bullam. There had been isolated attempts +at resistance and vengeance, and these had sometimes been successful, +but never yet had Bullam suffered any great public downfall worthy of +his oppression. He was wary to a high degree, and never ventured into +the sacred Yard, where his uniform would have been only blue cloth and +his buttons common brass.</p> + +<p>The crafty Stoughton, however, had a scheme. He had been pondering over +the case for some time, and Dick rarely pondered for nothing. He was +known to his intimates as Machiavelli, called Mac the Dago for short. +This particular plan was indeed worthy of his great namesake. He +imparted it to Jack Randolph, who had the heaviest personal score +against Bullam, and, therefore, the best title to share in his +humiliation. They fixed the following night as Bullam's Ides and +announced it to all their friends. They posted it in all the clubs, and +in every way spread the glad tidings that on the morrow Bullam should be +utterly cast down. They fixed the hour at about ten o'clock in the +evening, and exhorted the people to gather themselves together in a +great concourse to see their enemy made a cause of laughter unto them. +The promise of the avenging prophets was to conduct a triumph along the +whole length of Harvard Street and to lead in their train the haughty +Bullam, humbled and a captive; he should even act as their body-guard if +they so chose, and prevent all interference by his brothers of the +force. How this millennial spectacle was to be brought about, they kept +carefully secret.</p> + +<p>There is, perhaps, in every man a certain element of moral obliquity, +which, as he is put through any civilizing process, is squeezed out of +him from time to time in varying forms and quantities. It comes to the +surface, makes itself acutely felt and apparent for a short time, and +then drops off,—just as a physical poison would act in his veins. At +any rate, this is the only theory that can explain the highly +reprehensible but firmly established custom among Harvard Freshmen of +"ragging" signs. "Ragging," uninitiated reader, simply means stealing. +What amusement, profit, or glory the Freshman finds in it has never been +ascertained. He cannot tell exactly himself, and, as soon as he ceases +to be a Freshman, wonders why he ever indulged in the habit. Perhaps the +charm lies in the chance of getting into a scrape; but in most instances +a sign can be taken with perfect safety. Now I cannot possibly think why +I—but that is another story, as Mr. Kipling says.</p> + +<p>I am going to digress, however, for one story in this connection. Ned +Burleigh used to tell it on his room-mate, Steve Hudson. Steve always +denied it vehemently, and declared that Burleigh did not even deserve +the credit of a fabricator; that the story had been in college for +years, and he had heard it told by a '42 man. Ned held that made no +difference; that some one had to carry it for our four years and Steve +was the best man for the position. According to him, Hudson, in walking +back from Boston on a dark night in Freshman year, spied a tempting sign +hanging on a door-post. He secured it by some difficult climbing, and +tucking it under his overcoat, went on his way. On arriving in his room +he announced that he had a prize, and, unbuttoning his coat, he +displayed to Burleigh's delighted gaze, his only evening suit and the +sign "Fresh Paint."</p> + +<p>This practice of stealing signs had made Bullam's meat of many a +Freshman. In fact, the diligent Sergeant depended upon it for most of +his [Greek: kudos] so Dick Stoughton had determined to play upon his +keenness in this respect, and use a sign as the bait with which to hook +his fish. On the appointed evening he and Randolph went to +Cambridgeport, and bought a barber's pole. They were careful to get a +receipted bill from the barber with an accurate description of the pole. +The latter was marked with the barber's name in gilt letters, and was +small enough to be nearly, but not quite, covered with an overcoat. Thus +provided, they started back for Cambridge proper (the Port being usually +known as Cambridge improper) along Main Street, keeping as much as +possible in the shadows. At the end of half a dozen blocks, they came on +a policeman, and promptly crossed the street in a most alluring manner. +The vigilant officer, noticing the suspicious shape of Randolph's +overcoat held under his arm, gave chase. The end of the pole stuck out +from the coat, and it was useless for the students to protest that they +had nothing that did not belong to them. They assured their captor that +the pole was theirs, that they had paid for it and could prove the fact; +but he insisted upon taking them before the captain of the precinct.</p> + +<p>The captain had had a hard day, and was preparing to go to bed when they +were brought before him. He was tired and cross, and his humor was not +improved by this new arrival. When Stoughton showed the receipt, +however, he at once discharged the prisoners with much pleasure, and +reprimanded the overcareful officer.</p> + +<p>The two then went on to the next guardian of Main Street, and he bit +equally well. They warned him of the result, and gave him their word of +honor that the pole was not stolen. He hesitated, and for a moment they +feared that he was going to be decent enough to believe them. But he was +a new and zealous recruit on the force and the bait was too inviting; so +he decided not to trust them. He was as polite as possible about it and +when he even apologized for not taking their word, they came near +melting and showing the receipt. But the fall of Bullam was not to be +averted, simply because gentler tyrants might be entrained. So back they +went to headquarters.</p> + +<p>The captain came down in a red dressing-gown, the skirt of which flapped +idly in the breeze that came through an open window in the office. His +bare feet were shoved into a pair of carpet slippers, each foot in the +wrong slipper. With one hand he held a candle that wiggled in the +candle-stick and dropped wax on his wrist, and with the other hand tried +to keep the dressing-gown about his person. His frame of mind faithfully +carried out the spirit of the picture. To any guilty prisoner he would +have been indeed a terrifying spectacle; but he could do nothing to the +innocent and insulted gentlemen who had been haled before him. He +therefore relieved himself on their captor. The poor man got such a +dressing down, that when they left the office, Randolph presented him +with full forgiveness, a dollar bill, and the advice to learn as soon as +possible to tell a Senior from a Freshman.</p> + +<p>The next policeman they met was old George Smith. He held them up with a +look of surprise, and a remark that he thought they had been in college +too long to be "ragging" barber's poles. When they explained to him, +however, he of course believed them, and grinned as he perceived +something in the wind.</p> + +<p>"It is lucky that was George," said Stoughton, as they went on. "If we +had struck a strange cop, who thought we were liars, we should have +brought down the wrong bird. That police captain is just exactly primed +and loaded to the muzzle, and all ready to go off. Now for Bullam!"</p> + +<p>They had now reached Quincy Square, and saw the fated form of Bullam +loom in the offing. They made for him boldly; there was no need of +finessing in his case. The moment his hawk eye caught sight of the +ill-concealed pole, he bore down on them with a grim joy.</p> + +<p>"What have you got under that coat?" he demanded in his usual suave +tone.</p> + +<p>"None of your business," responded Jack Randolph, with an inward +chuckle.</p> + +<p>"It isn't, eh! Do you think I can't see that pole a-sticking out there? +Do you think you can steal signs under my very nose? You come along with +me now, and we'll see whether it's none of my business."</p> + +<p>"If your insulting remarks refer to this barber-pole," replied Randolph, +producing the pole with ostentatious confidence, "allow me to tell you +that it belongs to us, and we have a perfect right to carry it wherever +we please. Although, as I said before, it is none of your business, I +will condescend to let you know that I bought it lately, and have a +receipt for it in my pocket."</p> + +<p>"You can't give me no such bluff as that," sneered Bullam. "You can tell +that to the captain of the precinct. I'll give you a chance to show your +receipt."</p> + +<p>"Look here, my man," (nothing makes a gentleman of Bullam's class more +angry than to call him "my man") answered Stoughton, "you don't deserve +it after the language you have used to us, but, nevertheless, I give you +fair warning not to do anything of the kind. If you take us to the +captain, you will get into trouble."</p> + +<p>Bullam was beside himself. The more they said to him the more furious he +became, and finally threatened to use his club "if they gave him any +more guff." So, in high delight, the two injured youths took their way a +third time towards the house of the captain.</p> + +<p>The policeman who had last had them in charge turned quickly away as +they passed, and shoved his handkerchief into his mouth. It was a +grateful balm to the new man to see a veteran going into the same trap +that had just lacerated him. Moreover, Bullam was quite as unpopular in +the force as with the students.</p> + +<p>All was dark in the house where lay the uneasy head that wore the crown +of the precinct. Bullam rang the bell, with a ferocious glare at his +prisoners, as though tolling their death knell. A minute afterwards a +window opened above, and a head was thrust forth.</p> + +<p>"Who is there?" bellowed a voice, now familiar to our much-arrested +pair.</p> + +<p>"Sergeant Bullam, sir, with an arrest."</p> + +<p>Dick and Jack took care to stand under a gas-lamp.</p> + +<p>"Have you got two men there with a barber's pole?" asked the voice, +rising from a roar to a shriek.</p> + +<p>"Yes, sir," chuckled Bullam, gleefully, mistaking the direction of his +superior's wrath. "I caught——"</p> + +<p>"Didn't they tell you that it was their property, bought and paid for?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, they had some cock-and-bull——"</p> + +<p>"Stop!" thundered the captain, "you're too —— ready to think every +gentleman you meet is a liar. Don't you be so —— —— hot after your +promotion. If you'll give more attention to your important duties, and +less to making capital out of the students, you'll get ahead faster. Now +you go all the way back with these gentlemen, and see that they are not +troubled any more. If they are brought here again I'll know who to blame +for it. I'll have you up for a breach of special duty, and make it hot +for you. What's more, you treat them civilly. I'll have no bullies on my +squad. If this man gives you boys any lip, come around and see me about +it in the morning. Now get out of here, and you, Bullam, mind what I +tell you, and be —— —— careful."</p> + +<p>All the blanks in the foregoing address were filled in with deep color, +and the window went down with a slam that heavily sank in the sickened +soul of the astonished Bullam.</p> + +<p>"Come along, sergeant," cried Randolph, cheerfully, shouldering the +barber-pole. He and Dick led the way back through Quincy Square, +whistling the "Rogue's March" and the "Père de la Victoire." The +overwhelmed Bullam fell in behind. As they turned down Harvard Street, +he walked slowly and tried to drop back to a distance which would +disguise his connection with the parade; but his conquerors allowed no +such break in the procession. They slowed down, too, and kept about ten +feet in front of him.</p> + +<p>On the first corner of Harvard Street were stationed three or four small +boys (the occasionally useful Cambridge muckers) employed as vedettes. +Upon the approach of the triumph, they dashed off to the different clubs +and gathering-places where the long oppressed people were eagerly +awaiting the arrival of Bullam in chains. These all flocked to Harvard +Street, Hudson bringing his cornet, Dixey a pair of cymbals, and Ned +Burleigh flourishing the drum-major's baton, with which he had done +mighty service in the last torch-light procession. It was going to be +the most glorious triumph ever seen in the classic shades since +Washington rode through them on his white charger.</p> + +<p>But, alas! what a trivial thing may upset the grandest strategy; what a +petty boor may defeat Ulysses! Yet it was not such a petty boor who +caused the ruin in this case; it was the Cambridge mucker, and he should +never have been overlooked by a man of Machiavelli Stoughton's +experience. Those who know the Cantabrigian guerilla respect his power, +though they abhor his ways. An influential member of this free +lancehood, having demanded a quarter for the vedette service before +mentioned, and being refused employment, nursed a vindictive spirit. He +gathered a band on Harvard Street, near to the advanced scouts, and +waited to see what was going to happen. As soon as Stoughton and +Randolph came up with the attendant Bullam, this unforeseen enemy raised +a joyful shout and marshalled his comrades behind the trio. As they +proceeded along the street, he yelled to every mucker they passed, "Hey, +ragsy, come on! Here's two o' de Ha'vards gettin' run in!"</p> + +<p>Muckers gathered from every side like jackals, and Bullam, realizing the +sudden turn in the aspect of affairs, no longer lagged behind, but +forged up alongside of his would-be tamers, and assumed his old fierce +and haughty air. He could maintain his dignity before the public anyway.</p> + +<p>This was the way Dick Stoughton's great triumph looked when it reached a +point opposite the Yard. The expectant crowd of undergraduates looked +for a moment in surprise and grief, then, notwithstanding their +disappointment at Bullam's escape, a great roar of laughter went up, as +they concluded that the two daring plotters had egregiously failed in +their attempt and were on their way to a dungeon.</p> + +<p>"Let's bail them out," cried two or three. "Bail nothing, you idiots," +shouted the chagrined Stoughton, "we are not arrested; this man is our +body-guard. Come on, and we will take the procession around the Square +and up Garden Street."</p> + +<p>This had been Dick's original intention as to the line of march; but +just at this moment the Dean of Harvard College came around the corner +of Holyoke Street and stopped short. In the direction of Harvard Square +lay the jail, and Stoughton at once decided that a triumph of such +uncertain appearance had better be brought to a close right where they +were. He and Randolph halted, therefore, and, waving aloft the barber's +pole, gave Bullam their gracious permission to depart. As a little extra +effect they ordered him to disperse the rabble, to which mandate he +payed no attention. Then, with as much dignity as possible, they +retreated into Foster's. It was the best effort they could make to +retrieve the day, a weak ending to so magnificent a scheme.</p> + +<p>They did not hear the last of their "grand pageant" for a long time; but +their own recollection of it will always be softened by the memory of +those sweet moments beneath the captain's window.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_DOG_BLATHERS" id="THE_DOG_BLATHERS"></a>THE DOG BLATHERS.</h2> + + +<p>Besides the "officers of instruction and government," and the instructed +and governed, there are many classes and individuals that make up the +university population of Cambridge—unofficial members, whose names do +not appear in the catalogue. There are the camp followers, the goodies, +the janitors, the Poco, John the Orangeman, Riley, the O'Haras who +"understand th' busniz," and all the other dignitaries, as firmly +established and well recognized as the Faculty. Probably the most +numerous of the unofficial classes is the great four-legged one. There +are undergraduate dogs, and law-school dogs, and post-graduate dogs, and +I believe there were one or two Divinity dogs. During our time there +were several very distinguished dogs in the Faculty, notably one huge +bull-dog. Among the undergraduates, the ugliest and most perfect in form +and feature, the most polished and attractive in manner, the most genial +and popular, in every way the leader <i>par excellence</i>, was Rattleton's +round head bull-terrier Blathers.</p> + +<p>Blathers was named after the great man who bred him. That celebrated +fancier was renowned throughout Cambridge for two things, his dogs and +his profanity. He could outswear Sawin's expressman, Hitchell the black +scout, and the janitor of Little's Block, and any one who could excel +those three was indeed an artist. I do not believe, however, that the +recording angel entered all of Blather's items in the debit column:—in +the first place, he would not have had time, in the second place, most +of Blather's oaths were not delivered in anger, in the sense of Raca, +but flowed out innocently and unconsciously, merely as aids to +conversation. One morning this worthy came into Rattleton's room, +bearing in his hand a little brindled object about five inches long. It +looked like a stub-tailed rat, whose nose had been smashed with a lump +of coal.</p> + +<p>"Good mornin', Mr. Rattleton; beg your pardon for intrudin', sir, but +I've got sumpthin' here I want for to show yer. I've got a magnificent +animal."</p> + +<p>"Oh, get out, Blathers; I don't want a dog; had to give away the last +one."</p> + +<p>The following speech was bristling with profanity, but I have omitted +even the indication blanks, except in one passage where they were too +characteristic to be left out.</p> + +<p>"I don't want yer to buy him, sir. I just want to show him to yer. He's +a beauty. I know yer knows the points of a dog, sir, and its just a +pleasure I'm givin' yer to look at him. Just take him in your hand, sir. +Now, I sold Mrs. G. an own half brother of that feller. You know Mrs. +G., surely, down here to the Theolog. school?" (Mrs. G. was a most +charming and gentle lady, the wife of a celebrated clergyman.) "Well, I +stopped at her house the other day to see how she liked the pup. She +says to me, 'By ——, Blathers,' says she, 'that's the —— —— finest +dog ever I see; d—— me, if it ain't,' says she. Yes, sir, that's just +what she thought about him. You go ask her and see if it ain't. And she +wouldn't say nothin' she didn't mean, just to tickle me, neither. Mrs. +G. is a real lady, and knows the points of a dog, she does. She was —— +---- kind to my wife when she was sick last time. Oh, my wife's been +orful sick, Mr. Rattleton. I had to pay for a lot of doctor's consults +and other stuff; that's just the only reason, sir, I want to sell this +beautiful pup. I 'd never part with him in this world, if I could help +it."</p> + +<p>Blathers never would have parted from any of his dogs had it not been +for his frequent family afflictions. These afflictions were always very +expensive and varied, from the funeral of his mother to the birth of +twins. He buried four mothers in one year; that was his best work, +though six children born during the following term pushed hard on the +record.</p> + +<p>"If I could only make up my mind to let yer have that dog, Mr. +Rattleton," he went on, "it would work both ways. Maybe I ought to do +it. It would be a favor and a kind thing in me to sell yer that pup at +any price, and you'd be doin' a charity to a poor man in helpin' me +along. It would be a good action all around, see? Oh, I need the money +orful bad."</p> + +<p>Rattleton during this speech had been playing with the puppy, and he was +struck both by the brightness of the little fellow and the logic of his +owner. He knew that Blathers really did have rather hard times with his +family. In any case Lazy Jack never took the trouble to sift a tale of +woe and apply the most enlightened and efficient remedy. He had no +excuse for not doing so; he took the Social Ethics Course in Philosophy +because it was easy, and of course he knew how wrong it is to give to a +beggar; nevertheless, he rarely failed to do so if he had a coin in his +pocket, because it was so much easier than making enquiries and giving +advice. Moreover Jack was so lacking in principles, that if he thought +the beggar looked cold and in want of a hot whiskey, he was, if +anything, more apt to yield the ill-destined alms. In this instance the +insidious Blathers had struck him in two vulnerable spots, his very weak +nature, and his love of dogs. He also wanted to get rid of Blathers with +his endless stream of lurid and decidedly rum-flavored eloquence, and +the easiest way to do so was to buy the puppy.</p> + +<p>It was in his master's Sophomore year that Blathers, the pup, began his +career. He waxed fast in beauty and knowledge. His nose grew in and his +teeth grew out, his ears assumed the correct angle and his legs the +proper curve. His tail in babyhood had been scientifically bitten off by +the gentleman after whom he was named, and was, therefore, of exactly +the right length. He went through the distemper and gave it to every dog +in his club. His spirit did not belie his points; before the end of his +junior year he had tackled almost every dog in Cambridge and generally +came out on top. He was a dog of marvellous tact, also; he learned not +to growl at the proctor on his staircase. Rattleton spent much time on +Blather's education—so did Rattleton's friends. The latter, among other +accomplishments, succeeded after great effort in teaching him to drink +beer; but Blathers never went beyond the bounds of propriety, as did +frequently that disreputable Irish terrier of Dixey's.</p> + +<p>Blather's most prominent virtue of all was devotion to his master, and +his affection was fully returned. Those two were rarely apart, except in +the mornings, before Rattleton was up. Blathers always got out with the +nine o'clock lecture men and chapel goers, and would visit around at the +various club-tables where he had friends, generally collecting five or +six breakfasts before his master arose. At about eleven o'clock he would +be seen, sitting with his arms akimbo, in front of the Holly Tree; then +Jack was sure to be inside, getting the marvellous dropped eggs from the +sad-eyed John. If ever Blathers frequented the steps of Massachusetts, +Sever, or other lecture hall, all men would know that Jack Rattleton was +again on probation. If they saw the dog on the grim stone Stair of Sighs +in the south entrance of University, they would make sympathetic +inquiries when next they met the master.</p> + +<p>When the round black and brown head stuck out of the window of Riley's +cab, it was certain that Rattleton was bound over the bridge. They even +went once or twice to the theatre together, Blathers concealed under +Jack's overcoat. Though pugnacious by nature, it was not because +Blathers loved other dogs less, but fighting more. He loved a row for +its own sweet self, had few enemies and several warm friends. He was +particularly devoted to Hudson's Topsy, and engaged in many a combat on +her account, and for her edification. There were only two dogs for whom +he had any real aversion—Mike Dixey, of his own class, and Baynor's +white bull-dog, of the class below him.</p> + +<p>Probably the happiest moment of Blathers college life occurred one day +on Holmes' Field. There was a class ball-game going on; the Sophomores +were ranged on one side of the field, the Juniors opposite. The white +bull-dog had been barking in time with the cheering, yelping at the +players of the opposing team, trying to "rattle" the pitcher, and making +himself generally conspicuous and obnoxious. Finally, in the excitement +over some good play, he slipped his collar and ran into the outfield to +congratulate the centre-fielder. Somehow or other (Ned Burleigh probably +knew), Blathers happened to get loose at the same moment. With a +heralding bark he flew into the listed field and made straight for the +white champion. All interest in the ball-game ceased at once. With a +great shout the two opposing crowds rose from the seats <i>en masse</i>, and +swept across the diamond, "blocking off" the owners of the two dogs, who +rushed to separate them. In the rush, five or six more terriers got +adrift, and reached the front well ahead of their masters. In just about +ten seconds there was a ball of at least seven dogs of various fighting +breeds, rolling about in a halo of hair, howls, and pure delight. After +a few minutes, their masters succeeded in pushing through the +surrounding crowd, and each man laid hold of a dog's tail or hind leg. +By dint of heaving and kicking, the happy party was at last broken up, +and at the bottom of the pile were found Blathers and the white +bull-dog. They were locked in a fond embrace, and it took hot water from +the gymnasium to get them apart. Ever after that Blathers bore a scar on +the side of his head; but he was proud of that mark, for there was a +larger and more distinct one on the Sophomore dog.</p> + +<p>Blathers got into a scrape in his Senior year that nearly caused his +expulsion from the University, and compromised his master seriously. An +aunt of Rattleton's came out to Cambridge one afternoon, for the purpose +of attending the Thursday Vespers in Appleton Chapel. She notified Jack +that she expected him to escort her. Jack got his room in order, with +some difficulty, expurgated the ornaments and pictures, put his aunt's +photograph on the mantel-piece and a Greek lexicon on the table, and +sent Blathers to spend the afternoon with a friend. Aunt could not abide +a dog, especially one of Blathers' type of beauty. So Mr. B. went off +with Jack Randolph.</p> + +<p>Randolph's room was in the back of Thayer, and his window commanded the +approaches to Appleton Chapel. Blathers was squatted in the window-seat +with his head on one side, idly watching the birds, and wondering where +his master could have gone. Suddenly his eye fell on that very person, +and with him one of that kind of humans whose legs are all in one piece. +Blathers had seen lots of that kind, and knew well enough what they +were; but what could one of them possibly be doing with his master, +right here in Cambridge, at this time of year? He had never seen such a +thing as that before, except once on Class Day. It was for this, then, +that he had been dismissed for the afternoon! Well, well, well, pretty +goings on! He betrayed his astonishment and irritation by a low "wuff!" +jumped down from the window-seat, and scratched at the door.</p> + +<p>"No," said Randolph, looking at him, "you can't get out. Did you see a +cat?"</p> + +<p>Blathers came over to the arm-chair, stood up, putting both hands on +Randolph's knees, and looked at him appealingly.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I know," said Randolph, "your master has deserted you for the +afternoon, hasn't he? Mean trick, isn't it? And where do you suppose he +has gone? To Vespers, think of that! Don't shake your head, Blathers, +it's true——" "Wuff!" "Yes, rather remarkable, I know; no wonder you +say so. But don't blame him; he couldn't help it, and it will do him +good."</p> + +<p>A few minutes afterwards Randolph threw away his book, and took his cap.</p> + +<p>"Come, Blathers," said he, "we'll go over to the Pud for awhile. You may +find your friend Topsy there."</p> + +<p>No sooner had he opened the door than Blathers scrambled down-stairs +with that graceful motion peculiar to a terrier on urgent business; his +hind-quarters shoved his head all the way down-stairs, and tripped over +it at the bottom. He shot out of the door as if after a cat, whisked +round the corner, and made straight for the Chapel. On the steps, +however, he paused, for, at that moment, coming up the path from +Memorial, he saw a sight that made his blood boil. Hudson and Dixey were +strolling back from the Agassiz, and trotting ahead of them were Topsy +and that abominable Mike Dixey. As has been mentioned before, Mike was a +dog of very loose character. He would get intoxicated on beer whenever +he could find any one to "set it up." He belonged nominally to Dixey, +but was really a sort of dog-about-college. He would attach himself to +any one whom he could work for crackers and beer. He did not mind +spending the night on a door-step, and associated with all the street +curs. He would hang around the public billiard-rooms and Foster's, and +do tricks for sandwiches. Sometimes he would disappear on a spree for +days, get caught by the muckers, and come home with a tin can in tow. +Altogether he was no fit company for a lady, and when Blathers saw this +low-lived animal walking with his Topsy, reverence for the spot could +not restrain his indignation. Right in front of the Chapel door he +insulted the Irish terrier, and before the men behind could come up, +then and there the fight began. Rattleton, within, heard the sounds of +conflict rise above the anthem, and, by some vague intuition, his blood +ran cold. Another moment and Mike came flying up the aisle with yelps of +pain, evidently seeking sanctuary. Blathers may have had a deep +reverence for Appleton Chapel (barring the architecture), but his blood +was up, and he did not stop to think. He pursued the flying foe, +overtook and grabbed him again, just beyond Rattleton's pew, and +alongside of that of a couple of magnates. Jack thought it would be +better to remove those two dogs himself, and did so, one in each hand. +But there was no use in pretending that he did not know to whom that +scientific bull-terrier belonged. The men outside had some difficulty in +persuading him that they were in no way responsible for the episode.</p> + +<p>Mr. Blathers lived long and went to many places, but that was the only +time he ever attended services in church.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="A_HOWARD_AND_HARVARD_EVENING" id="A_HOWARD_AND_HARVARD_EVENING"></a>A HOWARD AND HARVARD EVENING.</h2> + + +<p>That evening at dinner Burleigh and Rattleton entertained the table with +a glowing description of a new play they had seen on the previous night, +at the Howard Athenæum. They were most enthusiastic about it.</p> + +<p>"I can't understand," declared Burleigh, "how such a piece and such a +troupe happened to drop into the old Howard. Such scenery! Why, the +stage setting was the best I ever saw. One act was laid in the pine +woods; you could look way through them, apparently, live birds flew +about among the branches, and they must have burned some sort of balsam +in the wings, for you could actually smell the pines."</p> + +<p>"That's a new smell for the Howard," remarked Hudson.</p> + +<p>"Yes, and those two girls!" added Jack Rattleton. "By Jove, wasn't that +blonde a beauty!"</p> + +<p>"The brunette was better," averred Burleigh. "How she did sing! They +have splendid songs all through the play."</p> + +<p>"Never saw such acting," said Jack, "even—certainly never at the +Howard."</p> + +<p>"The hero was a magnificent young man," Burleigh went on. "You ought to +see him throw down the villain in the last act. I'm going again as soon +as I can."</p> + +<p>"Why haven't we heard of it before?" queried Stoughton, suspiciously.</p> + +<p>"It was a first night," explained Burleigh, promptly. "Jack and I were +pioneers. You fellows ought to go see it. You'll hear enough of it +before it is over; but go in now while it is fresh."</p> + +<p>"I have nothing to do to-night," said Hudson. "I believe I'll go. Who is +with me?"</p> + +<p>Stoughton and Gray both agreed to join him. Holworthy and Randolph were +going to drive over to a ball in Brookline.</p> + +<p>"I'd give anything to go with you chaps," said Burleigh, "but I have got +to work into the wee sma' hours on my forensic. It is due to-morrow +morning, and I haven't done a thing on it."</p> + +<p>"I'd like to see that show again, too," said Jack, "but I don't feel +very well to-night. I'm going to turn in early."</p> + +<p>The three theatre-goers started for town immediately after dinner. They +stopped at one of the clubs first, and picked up three or four other men +on the strength of Burleigh's eulogy of the play.</p> + +<p>Whoever has been through Harvard College and never been to the Howard +Athenæum has neglected his advantages; fortunately such deplorable +instances are rare. Who, that has improved his opportunities, does not +remember the old stamping-ground, where the commingled perfumes of +orange-peel, humanity, and peanuts would smell to high heaven, were they +not stopped in a concentrated mass by the grimy roof. There things are +real, things are earnest, unweakened by affectation and refinement. The +villains are real bad villians, and carry knives, not cigarettes. They +know how to gloat. The heroes have red undershirts and true nobility, +and don't mind showing either. The heroines are not ashamed of +sentimentality. Neither is the audience. There, too, is music that you +can remember and whistle, that you can sing afterwards on the way back +to Cambridge; not music that you must contemplate with rapt gaze on the +ceiling. There you will find humor of the broad, plain, unmistakable +variety, humor at which you can laugh for its own sake, not for the +maker's wit or your own in detecting it. Nor, in that shrine of the +Muses, does pleasure always end with the fall of the curtain. Frequently +you may see two or three excellent fights on the way out, and perhaps be +granted a share in one yourself. Oh, you get your money's worth at the +classic Athenæum, for it is all for fifty cents (thirty-five in the +gallery).</p> + +<p>"I have a suspicion," said Stoughton, on the way in town, "that those +fellows were lying to us. I'll bet this show is something awful, they +were probably bored to death, and conceived the happy thought of getting +us sold in the same way."</p> + +<p>"Never mind," said Hudson, philosophically; "we'll have a good time +anyway."</p> + +<p>Before the curtain had been up ten minutes, Dick's suspicion gained +ground; it's truth was fully confirmed long before the end of the play. +The scenery, the birds, and the pine balsam effects were wholly +creatures of Burleigh's capable brain; as for Jack Rattleton's houris, +Stoughton declared that "Noah was a fool to have saved them; he ought to +have shut them out in the rain long enough to get a wash any way."</p> + +<p>Even the Athenæum audience was dissatisfied and inclined to jeer. Gray +wanted to leave at the end of the first act.</p> + +<p>"Hold on," insisted Hudson, "let's stay here and make this a success. +There's lots of good sentiment all through it, just your style Gray. All +it needs is a little enthusiasm in the house to warm up the actors. +Let's lead the applause on the strong points."</p> + +<p>So they stayed, and their efforts were attended with such success, that +they might have had a free pass for future performances. Every time the +hero said, "I am the just man and you are the villain," or the heroine +declared she would never leave him while life lasted, or showed other +symptoms of heroism, the knot of students would stamp, and applaud, and +rouse the finer feelings of the whole house. The grateful actors +certainly did warm up, and delivered with more and more vim their honest +expressions of lofty sentiment and occasional touches of patriotism, the +latter utterly uncalled for, but always welcome. The audience became +worked up as well, but in the last act suddenly began to hiss.</p> + +<p>"Hullo! what's up now?" asked Gray, who had not taken the Athenæum +course faithfully, and was not learned in it; "what are they hissing +at?"</p> + +<p>"Good gracious, man," answered Hudson, "don't you see? Don't display +your ignorance. They are hissing the villain. It's the greatest +compliment you can pay him. Go ahead, hiss like a good one."</p> + +<p>On the whole, the performance was a grand success, and Hudson insisted +that Gray had made an undoubted conquest of the second lady. After it +was over some one mentioned "broiled lob. and musty," at Parks, but it +was voted to return to Cambridge and make a rarebit there.</p> + +<p>"We'll go pull out Ned Burleigh, and have it in his room," suggested +Dick.</p> + +<p>"No you don't!" exclaimed Hudson. "You forget I'm his chum. I'll have no +Welsh rarebit made in that room unless we draw lots and I get stuck. The +room would smell of cheese and stale beer for twenty-four hours."</p> + +<p>"Let's land on Rattleton then. We'll teach him to lie."</p> + +<p>Feeling in a luxurious mood they scorned the cars, and chartered a +herdic, four men getting inside and three on the roof. For those readers +who know not the herdic, I will explain that it is a sort of tiny +omnibus in which four thin people can sit uncomfortably. It usually has +two wheels and never more than one horse—sometimes not quite as much.</p> + +<p>"I may as well tell you before we start," said Stoughton, who sat on the +top, to the driver, "that we are not Freshmen, so don't break a spring +on the bridge and tell us that it will cost you ten dollars to get it +mended."</p> + +<p>"I know you're old hands," answered Jehu, with a grin, "I know youse +fellers. I remember your face pertickler. Mebbe you disrecollect comin' +out with me one night from Parker's. Let's see, guess it was two years +ago, after the Institoot dinner."</p> + +<p>"All right, my friend, say no more," acknowledged Dick, as the other two +men shouted. "The drink is on me. Here is the price of it."</p> + +<p>The door at the back of the herdic is held shut with a strap that leads +through the roof to the driver's seat. This was secured firmly, so as to +keep the inside passengers safe, for it is an established courtesy for +those inside to slip out when near the college, leaving the others to +pay the driver and joining them later. By means of the strap, however, +and the lack of a knife among the insiders, all arrived well together at +the building where Rattleton roomed.</p> + +<p>"I'll go to the Fly and get the cheese and beer," said Gray. "You get +your chafing-dish, Dick."</p> + +<p>Stoughton roomed in the same building with Rattleton, as did Hudson and +Burleigh. While he went after his chafing-dish the others reconnoitered +Rattleton's quarters. The door was locked and all was dark. The glass +ventilator over the door, however, was unfastened, and large enough to +admit a man. Jack Rattleton always left his ventilator unfastened, for +he often depended on it for his own ingress. The reason of this was very +simple,—the door had a spring bolt, and it was characteristic of Mr. +Rattleton's nature to frequently leave his keys inside and shut the door +when he went out. It was a very simple matter for Hudson to climb over +the door through this ventilator, drop down, and open the door from the +inside.</p> + +<p>"Look out for Blathers," said one man. "If that pretty pup is in there +he'll take a piece out of your leg."</p> + +<p>"He knows my voice," answered Hudson, as he "shinned" over. He let the +rest in and lit the gas. Rattleton was not in his bedroom.</p> + +<p>"Humph," grunted Hudson. "Said he wasn't well and was going to turn in +early. The abominable liar."</p> + +<p>They poked up the fire and had it roaring when Stoughton returned, +bearing the chafing-dish and a long pipe, his dear Mary Jane.</p> + +<p>"That's a good idea," said Hudson, as his eye fell on the latter +article. "You've brought that disgusting black pipe. We can stand it for +a while, and it will permeate Jack's room and teach him the beauty of +truth. Puff away on Mary; serve Jack right."</p> + +<p>Rattleton's plates and other necessities were foraged out by the time +Gray appeared with the cheese and beer. Not seeing Rattleton, he asked +how the others had got in. Hudson explained. "This open ventilator habit +of Jack's" he added, "is worse than rooming on the ground floor. Ned +Burleigh and I had enough of that in Freshman year, before we moved up +here. Our room was a regular darned club. Everybody would drop in there +between lectures, chin when we wanted to study, and smoke our tobacco, +just because it was too much trouble to go up-stairs. We couldn't leave +our window open at night without having some fools crawl in, at any time +after midnight, and raise the deuce."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I remember. It was very pleasant," remarked Stoughton.</p> + +<p>The creation of the rarebit was well under way with the usual +accompaniment of advice and altercation over the ingredients, when +shouts were heard from under the window, of "Jack, Jack Rat, Oh, Jack!"</p> + +<p>Hudson threw up the window and saw Holworthy and Randolph below in a +buggy. "Mr. Rattleton is not in, gentlemen," he said, "but come right up +and make yourselves at home."</p> + +<p>"All right; be with you in a moment, as soon as we have taken this trap +round to Blake's."</p> + +<p>"It is the two society fritterlings," announced Hudson, as he drew in +his head. A few minutes later Randolph and Holworthy appeared in their +big coats.</p> + +<p>"Seems to me you're back from your ball pretty early," observed Gray.</p> + +<p>"Hol didn't find the person there he wanted to see, so he soured on the +whole thing and dragged me away early," Jack Randolph explained.</p> + +<p>"What a whopper," said Holworthy, as he took off his ulster. "It was +very stupid, and Jack himself suggested that we should be happier in +Cambridge."</p> + +<p>"Aha," cried Stoughton, who was stirring the "bunny" with a master hand. +"Very nice. Two gentlemen in faultless evening attire. They'll do for +the waiters. Here, quick, hand up your plates before this thing gets +cold."</p> + +<p>While they were eating the rarebit, a step was heard in the entry, +accompanied by the trotting feet of a dog, and the locked door was +tried. Then a familiar voice drawled "What the devil is going on in +here?"</p> + +<p>"Hullo, Jack," cried Stoughton, "come right in. Don't be bashful."</p> + +<p>"Open the door, you arrant burglars," demanded Rattleton. "My keys are +on my bureau, or somewhere inside."</p> + +<p>"Climb over the transom as I did," Hudson called. "You'll have to turn +your back to the company in the performance, but don't mind the +awkwardness of the position."</p> + +<p>"We'll excuse your back. We have your hair-brushes and the fire shovel +already," added Randolph, cheerily.</p> + +<p>"Don't be such babies," said Jack, (whenever any of the gang was at a +disadvantage, he was apt to age suddenly) "come, let me in."</p> + +<p>"Are you sorry you told a naughty fib to-night?" asked Hudson, with his +hand on the knob.</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>"Will you set up the ingredients for a punch?"</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>"All right then, you may come in," said Hudson, graciously, opening the +door.</p> + +<p>"How was the play?" inquired Jack, pleasantly, as he went into his +bedroom after the wash-basin, the regular understudy for a punch-bowl.</p> + +<p>"Enjoyed it immensely, in spite of your wishes for our entertainment," +Hudson declared. "We know now your ideal of talent and beauty."</p> + +<p>"Don't blame me. That was all Burleigh's rot," protested Jack, +apologetically, but with a chuckle. "Why don't you pull him out?"</p> + +<p>"That is a good plan," assented Hudson. "Two of you come up and help me +capture the elephant. He may resist." A committee of three went up to +wait upon Burleigh.</p> + +<p>"What is the sense of this meeting as to the temperature of the grog?" +asked Rattleton.</p> + +<p>"Hot!" promptly moved the two who had driven over from Brookline. The +motion was carried, so Jack put the kettle on the fire.</p> + +<p>"Speaking of the drama and brother Burleigh," said Holworthy, "do you +remember the time, Dick, that we saw the old man suping in that +spectacular play in Sophomore year?"</p> + +<p>"I'm not likely to forget it," answered Dick. "You fellows remember that +show called 'Albrachia,' or some such name, full of red fire and +fairies? Hol. and I went in to see it one night, and whom should we +discover as leading demon in the grand climax, but the stout Edward. We +nearly stood up and cheered,—but we'll make him tell about it +to-night."</p> + +<p>"Hullo, here is the sylph now!" exclaimed some one, as the committee +returned in triumph with Ned in tow.</p> + +<p>"The perjured loafer told us he was going to work on his forensic," +cried Hudson. "Look at this," pointing to Burleigh, whose generous +proportions were swathed in gaudy pajamas.</p> + +<p>"I hear you enjoyed the play exceedingly," remarked Burleigh, as he made +for the fireplace, and spread his huge form all over the front of it.</p> + +<p>"So we did, no thanks to you," answered Gray.</p> + +<p>"Any men who are such Athenæum Lotharios as to be decoyed in town by the +mere mention of two pretty actresses, deserve to get sold," declared +Ned, severely.</p> + +<p>"Here, take your toddy and stop your mouth," said Stoughton. "As a +penance for your lies, you can give us some reminiscences of your +disreputable career on the stage."</p> + +<p>After some demurring, Burleigh was persuaded to begin his yarn. The +"tea" was made by this time, and enthroned on the student's desk in the +centre of the room. With "tod and tobac." the party disposed itself +about the room, every one with a view more to ease than grace. Blathers, +as usual, chose his master's outstretched legs. Ned Burleigh, with a +cigar, stood in front of the fire in his airy raiment, his feet apart, +warming his exterior with the genial blaze, and his interior with the +genial toddy. Would that we could have those evenings again!</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_HARVARD_LEGION_AT_PHILIPPI" id="THE_HARVARD_LEGION_AT_PHILIPPI"></a>THE HARVARD LEGION AT PHILIPPI.</h2> + + +<p>"What do you want me to relate?" asked Burleigh. "The great battle of +Philippi?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, we would like to hear about that," answered Stoughton, "and also +your experience with the Hosts of Darkness."</p> + +<p>"That was a very short and painful affair," Ned explained. "I'll tell +you that first. You must know, my children, that I was once a godless +Sophomore even as other Sophs. You may scarcely believe it now, but I +was. Among other follies, I took to 'suping' occasionally. Of course my +intentions were purely noble; I wanted to elevate the stage. On one +occasion this man Hudson, here, led me to the Boston Theatre, where an +elaborate show was being given and 'supes' were in demand. You fellows +must remember the play, it was called 'Alboraka, the Wizard.' They +wanted only one man for that night, and as I was the handsomer, they +chose me. I comforted Steve by promising to share with him the quarter +that I expected to earn; I believe on the strength of my promise he +bought a seat in the peanut gallery."</p> + +<p>"Oh, no, I didn't," interrupted Hudson, "I had a seat right under a box +where there was a theatre-party of Mrs. Mayflor Tremont's, with a lot of +girls I knew. I was thundering glad I wasn't on the stage, and had more +than half a mind to point you out to them."</p> + +<p>"You wouldn't have troubled me at all," answered Ned. "That is where we +unknown woolly Westerners get the drop on the Boston men, and you dudes +who go in for Boston society. However, to go on with this confession, I +was appointed leader of the Hosts of Darkness. I don't know why I was +singled out for this distinction, unless it was on account of my superb +figure."</p> + +<p>"That was it," corroborated Stoughton. "You did look stunning in those +red tights, even more fetching than you are now in those pajamas."</p> + +<p>"The part was not a difficult one, but very important," Burleigh +continued. "I had to look fierce, and bear aloft a huge red and gold +affair. This was referred to once or twice as 'yon gonfalon of +Diabolus,' so I suppose that's what it was. I only had to go on the +stage twice. In the last scene, where the Wizard got thrown down, there +was a high bridge at the back of the stage. It was steep on the sides, +shaped a good deal like the Chinese bridge in a blue willow-ware plate; +don't you remember? I had to hold this bridge for the Wizard at the head +of my minions, and was doing it with dignity and grace. My instructions +were to stay there until the Queen of the Fairies should point at me and +say 'Avaunt, vile blood-fiends, to the shades below'; then to retire +with signs of rage and terror, while the Hosts of Light came up the +other side of the bridge. Now I was watching and listening to the Queen +carefully, and I am sure she never pointed at me, or opened her head +about 'avaunting.' I think myself that my fatal beauty in the red tights +had made an impression on her, and she didn't want me to leave. She +probably couldn't find it in her heart to call me a blood-fiend; at any +rate there was some hitch, for the Hosts of Light began coming up the +bridge ahead of time. Of course, I wasn't going to avaunt without +orders, so I stood there waiting for my cue. The leading angel called me +a most vile name, in an anxious undertone, and poked his spear violently +in the pit of my stomach. He hurt me like the devil, so I promptly +smashed him on the head with the Gonfalon of Diabolus, and bowled him +down among the advancing Hosts of Light, to their utter confusion. The +next minute something lit on the back of my neck, and that is all I +know. I believe it was a sandbag hove from the wings, and that I was +dragged out by the heels."</p> + +<p>"You were, you were," Holworthy shouted at the recollection, "but it was +done so quickly that half of the audience didn't see it."</p> + +<p>"When I came to," Ned went on, "I was on my face behind the scenes, with +four or five able-bodied Irishmen sitting on my back. The 'super' +captain was going to turn me over to the cop; but I begged pardon all +round, paid for the leading angel's broken head, and finally managed to +smooth things over."</p> + +<p>"They are pretty careful how they take amateur supes at any of the +theatres now. Nothing like the battle of Philippi can ever occur again," +said Rattleton, regretfully.</p> + +<p>"Give us that, Ned," said Stoughton; "I guess some of these fellows have +never heard an accurate account by one of the heroes."</p> + +<p>"That was truly the grandest suping event in history," said Burleigh, +refilling his glass, and returning to his position by the fire. "It was +just after that new theatre was opened, way down there on Washington +Street. It was a cheap shrine, but I tell you, now, Melpomene was right +in it. The owners had no idea of making it a low-down variety hall, not +much. They were going to give high-class performances and educate the +masses. One of the first things they had there was a Shakespearean +revival, run by a peripatetic star named Riley. The fellows used to go +in and supe all the time. They rather liked to have Harvard men for two +reasons: first, because it was cheap, and, in the second place, I think +Riley's manager rather expected us to bring all our friends and +relatives there to see us act, and give the place a boom.</p> + +<p>"The first night of <i>Julius Cæsar</i> came on Jim de Laye's twenty-first +birthday, and he was going to give a dinner, after which we intended to +fill a box at the show and give Cæsar a good send-off. I went in town to +get the box, and at the office I heard the manager, or some official, +complaining about lack of supes. I made inquiries, and it ended in my +contracting to furnish him with ten good men and true for that evening +at reasonable rates. He gave me as a bonus a few tickets for any of my +family or 'lady friends.' It showed how green he was to take ten of 'de +Ha'vards' at once. They never would have done that anywhere else in +town.</p> + +<p>"The other chaps all fell in with the arrangement, and we had the dinner +at Parker's early. A man does not get to be twenty-one years old every +day in the year, so we took pains to see that Jim did it properly.</p> + +<p>"That lazy goat on the sofa there (pointing to Rattleton) had not been +seen in Cambridge that afternoon, and knew nothing about the suping +arrangement. Of course, he was late to dinner, as usual, and of course, +as usual, he turned up with that d——d dog of his. After dinner, when +we adjourned to the theatre, we wanted him to leave Blathers behind at +Parker's, but he insisted on taking the pup along, wrapped in his +overcoat. He assured us that Blathers would keep perfectly quiet, and no +one would ever know he was there. We might have known better, but I +suppose we were in a yielding mood. De Laye and two or three others +brought bottles of fizz in their overcoats. They said it was always well +to propitiate the natives, and thought such provisions might be popular +with the Thespians. Jim swore he'd make noble Romans of every man of +'em. We got there early, and Blathers was tied up and hidden away under +Jack's coat in a corner of the dressing-room. In the performance we all +did our parts like little men. Rome was proud of her citizens that day. +As for our mob-work, that showed positive genius."</p> + +<p>"How Marc Antony's speech over the body did go!" chuckled Rattleton from +the sofa.</p> + +<p>"The stage-manager was delighted and complimented us, and so did Riley +himself. Jack Rat had made friends with Riley very early in the game. He +had invited him out to lunch in Cambridge, and had hinted at getting him +to coach the Pudding show. Moreover, Jack and I had steered several +large parties in to Riley's performances, and Riley knew it. It was a +lucky thing for us, as it turned out, that he and Jack had got so +chummy.</p> + +<p>"All went well until the battle scene. They had put us all on the same +side; in fact, we constituted the entire army of Brutus—that was +another evidence of greenness in the management. The battle had been +raging mildly for some time. We had marched and counter-marched, and had +been reviewed and exhorted two or three times, without even getting a +glimpse of the enemy. At last it came to the scene where Brutus' +aggregation gets driven across the stage by Antony's offering a +desperate resistance. Cassius had been killed, young Cato was going to +be captured, and everything was going to the bow-wows. While we were +standing in the wings along with Antony's army, waiting to go on, Jim de +Laye said, 'Hang it, let's put a little real good acting into this +thing; these stage scraps are too woodeny.' Of course I did my best to +restrain this idea among my companions, but it became popular at once in +spite of anything I could say. I must confess I always had rather a +desire myself to see that oily-mouthed peep of a Marc Antony well +thrashed. The next minute we had to go across the back of the stage, +hotly contesting every inch of the way with our trusty wooden brands, +two up and two down. About half way over, that crazy Jim de Laye opened +the ball by smiting his man hip and thigh and other parts, in the most +life-like manner. The other supe hit back in just anger, and there was +an instant rally of the Brutus forces. My man was a little fellow, and I +did him up in time to see an entirely new feature introduced in the +scene. Marc Antony himself suddenly appeared, hard pressed by a togaed +citizen. The way he got there was this—correct me, Jack, if I make any +mistake in this part of the history. Blathers, as I told you, had been +left curled up under a coat in the dressing-room. Some of the employees +had found him there, however, untied him, and started in to play with +him. Mr. Blathers, finding himself in strange company, slipped away from +them and went looking for his master. Just as the battle scene began, he +arrived at the wings, where Marc Antony was waiting to go on. Antonius +was in very bad humor about something. He asked in fluent Latin, 'What +the —— that dog was doing there?' and made a kick at Blathers. I guess +Blathers was in much the same mood, for he turned around and effected a +prompt connection with the calf of Marc Antony's leg. He was a +disappointed dog; he got his mouth full of horsehair. Antony wasn't +touched, and let Blathers have it with the other foot.</p> + +<p>"Now, Jack had not been assigned to the army, and was off duty in that +scene. He was standing in the wings in Roman citizen's clothes, trying +to flirt with the vestal virgins.</p> + +<p>"Hold on," interrupted Jack, "you told me to correct any mistake. That's +one."</p> + +<p>"Well, perhaps they were not. You know more about that than I do," +admitted Ned. "Any way, he turned around just in time to see his +faithful hound doing somersaults from Marc Antony's toe. I'll do Jack +the justice to say that he is generally slow to wrath—he is too +lazy—but when that ugly pup of his is concerned, he loses his head.</p> + +<p>"He not only lost his head that time, but tried to knock off Marc +Antony's too. Marc went, staggering out into the field of battle, and +Jack, the fool, followed him up. As I said, the battle had opened in +earnest all along the line when this happened, and the house was already +on it's feet. It was a good, warm house. It was mainly from Sou' Boston, +and had taken about thirty-five seconds to get on to the magnificent +realism of the scene. It went wild with delight at this addition to the +affair. Blathers rallied and flew out on the stage to the support of +Jack's charge. This time he tore all the padding off Marc's legs, amid +the enthusiastic plaudits of the audience.</p> + +<p>"The stage-manager yelled for the policeman, and went tearing about +after him. 'Colonel' Dixey, of Kentucky, who was also off duty in this +scene, had enticed the cop into a distant corner, along with the +departed Cæsar and a bottle of fizz. J. Cæsar was a tragedian who would +have been dear to the heart of a <i>Puck</i> artist. He was a thirsty soul +with a radiant nose and a beery eye. Shortly after his death he had +attached himself to Colonel Dixey and his overcoat, and the Colonel had +warmly requited his affection. In fact, Dixey devoted two whole bottles +to the good work, and at the end of the fourth act Cæsar had had some +difficulty in doing his own ghost. He was free after that, and during +this last act, he and the Colonel had let in the blue-coat, and retired +into a secluded nook among the scenery. The Colonel had filled Cæsar up +to the brim, and had got the law pretty well zigged, too, when the +manager brought the news of battle. All three rushed to the front, the +cop, of course, getting there last. The conflict was at its height, when +dead Cæsar appeared, boiling drunk, and took sides with inspiring shouts +against his own avengers. Dixey pitched in too, and these reinforcements +turned the tide at once. Brutus was victorious at all points. We rushed +Marc Antony and his gang clear off the field, and destroyed the flying +remnants behind the wings. The audience fairly howled and encored +wildly.</p> + +<p>"The cop was utterly useless, he grabbed the small man that I had +floored in the beginning of the row, clubbed him a little, and hung on +to him like grim death. The manager was crazy, and told him to send for +a hurry-up wagon, and run us all in. We showed the law great respect, +though, after the shindy was over; called him sergeant and offered to +support him in maintaining the peace. He didn't know exactly who was +responsible, so he contented himself with shaking the little man some +more, and declaring that he could 'attend to this business alone, and +didn't want no help, see?' Marc Antony wanted the blood of Jack and +Blathers, but Riley, the star, who played Brutus, was inclined to think +that Antony was to blame for the whole thing. You see Antony had got +more applause than Brutus all through. His great speech had had a +particular success, probably due to our able presentation of the +populace. Riley sat on Marc first, and then they both went for Cæsar, +who was maudlin in the corner. He had got a helmet on, wrong side +before, and was begging us with tears in his eyes to go 'once more into +the breach, dear friends, or close the wall with our English dead.' When +Brutus cursed him he drew himself up and hiccoughed, 'Et tu, +Brute,—hic—well—hic you seen me at Philippi anyhow.'</p> + +<p>"Riley went back on the stage and made a little speech, and the audience +cheered him to the echo. Then the play went on, Brutus died like a man, +and all the principals, including J. Cæsar and Blathers, were called +before the curtain. Jack made it up with Marc Antony, and after the show +we consoled the vanquished army with what was left of the champagne. +Most of the supes were Irish, anyway, and had enjoyed the pleasantry."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="IN_THE_EARLY_SIXTIES" id="IN_THE_EARLY_SIXTIES"></a>IN THE EARLY SIXTIES.</h2> + + +<p>It was ten o'clock and time for John Stuart Mill to give place to Mary +Jane, so Stoughton threw the former into an arm-chair and took the +latter from the mantel-piece. He filled and lighted her affectionately, +and the content of the evening pipe came upon him. Then he bethought him +of beer and pleasant converse, and strolled around to the Pudding in +pursuit thereof.</p> + +<p>There he found the usual ten o'clock "resting convention" in session +beneath its blue cloud of nicotine. The "earnest resters," as Burleigh +termed them, were stretched about in various attitudes, more of laziness +than repose. They were just then engaged in the popular pastime of +blackguarding the last number of the <i>Lampoon</i> for the benefit of +Hudson, one of the editors.</p> + +<p>"Hullo, Dick," remarked that gentleman, glad to change the subject as +Stoughton entered, "we knew you were coming; smelt Mary Jane as soon as +you turned the corner."</p> + +<p>"Did you, really," replied Stoughton, making room for himself on the +sofa by removing Rattleton's legs to a neighboring chair, and spilling +the dog Blathers on the floor. "What was that chum of yours doing in the +building last night? Were you also engaged in the unseemly disturbance?"</p> + +<p>"No," answered Hudson, "I had nothing to do with it. I decline all +responsibility for Edward Burleigh. I am not my room-mate's keeper."</p> + +<p>"I heard him carolling on the stairs at an hour when singing should be +left to the little birds. He hammered on my door for a while, but I knew +enough not to get up. I wonder he didn't raise the proctor. He shouted, +through my key-hole, something about the war being over."</p> + +<p>"Yes," said Hudson, "that was what he told me when he woke me up by +sitting on my chest. He was going to carry the good news all through the +Yard, but I persuaded him to go to bed and wait until morning."</p> + +<p>"Where had he been?"</p> + +<p>"Well, you see, Jack Randolph carried him off yesterday evening to a +meeting of the Southern Club, as an invited guest, to span the bloody +chasm with him. They spanned it a good many times there, I guess, and +then as it was a beautiful moonlight night and perfect sleighing, they +decided that the bloody chasm ought to be spanned in Brookline and other +neighboring towns. So they got a cutter, and must have conducted +spanning operations on a wide scale all over the country, for they +didn't get back until dawn. George Smith, the policeman, says he saw +them sitting on the steps of Harvard Hall, singing 'John Brown's Body' +and 'Dixie,' and hymns of peace while the sun rose."</p> + +<p>"I deny the aspersion on the Southern Club," exclaimed 'Colonel' Dixey, +from the other end of the long sofa. "I was present at the meeting, and +we had nothing to induce sunrise hymns. I don't know what Jack and Ned +did afterwards, but they didn't get it at the Southern Club."</p> + +<p>This somewhat veiled assertion raised an incredulous chorus: "Oh, Dixey, +may you be forgiven." "Come, come, Colonel, do you mean to persuade us +that an organization containing at least three members from Kentucky is +run on a cold-water basis?" "Where is the glory of your old +commonwealth?" "Bet the meeting was full of rum—rum and rebellion! +Don't deny it, Colonel." "Drink and treason!"</p> + +<p>"Neither, sir, neither," replied Dixey to this chaff. "I grieve to hear +such narrow-minded accusations. Prexy was there and made a speech.—Oh, +Holworthy! You know that man we saw yesterday in the Transept of +Memorial? He was at the Southern Club with Prexy."</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes," said Holworthy, "who was he?"</p> + +<p>"A grad. from Georgia. I have forgotten his name."</p> + +<p>"I thought he was a grad., and not a stranger, for he didn't have a +guide book, and didn't ask us to show him the "<i>campus</i>." Had he been a +soldier?"</p> + +<p>"Didn't say. If so, he was probably a Confed."</p> + +<p>"Well, he looked like an interesting old cock anyway," said Holworthy to +the others. "He was standing before one of the tablets with his hat off. +Somehow, when we saw him, our own hats felt so uncomfortable that we +took them off, too, as we passed through."</p> + +<p>"Holly made up all sorts of poetry about him," added Dixey.</p> + +<p>"No, I didn't; but I do think he did the right thing in uncovering."</p> + +<p>"Of course he did," said Ernest Gray, emphatically. "No man ought to +keep his hat on in that transept."</p> + +<p>"Oh, now you've done it, Hol," groaned Stoughton. "You have started the +'Only Serious.'"</p> + +<p>"We get too careless going back and forth in it every day," continued +Gray. "We don't fully appreciate it, or we forget what it means."</p> + +<p>"Forget what it means! Great Scott, Ernest, have you never heard a Class +Day oration or poem? What would our inspired youths do without the poor, +hard-worked old transept? How did they ever get inspired before it was +built? Don't we have our hearts fired all up at least once a year on +that subject?"</p> + +<p>"Except those of us who may have been previously fired by the Dean," put +in Rattleton, with a contemplative sigh over eminent possibilities.</p> + +<p>"Well, it is a pity then that the Class Day conflagration doesn't last a +little longer. I don't believe in keeping sentiment for special +occasions. It would be better for all hands to preserve a little of it +throughout the year, and in this place, of all others, I should think at +least a little reverence for the past might be kept alive. But one might +suppose that there was no such thing as reverence at Harvard nowadays."</p> + +<p>"Hooray!" "Hear, hear!" "Go it, old man!" "Good for the Only Serious!" +"Pegasus in a canter!"</p> + +<p>"That's right," answered Gray warmly, to this burst of invidious +encouragement. "Laugh at anything that is serious or the least approach +to feeling; it is the fashion."</p> + +<p>"Brought on by over-doses of gush," remarked Stoughton, knocking the +ashes contemptuously out of Mary Jane.</p> + +<p>"Of course, there is a lot of twaddle talked about such things," +answered Gray, "and I acknowledge that exaggeration tends to cheapen +patriotism, but the existence of a lot of tinsel in the world doesn't +make gold less valuable, does it?"</p> + +<p>"Quite true," assented Hudson, "and because Dick Stoughton smokes such a +pipe as Mary Jane, there is no reason why we should all give up tobacco. +That is a better simile than yours."</p> + +<p>"Well, it is a good thing that Harvard men have not always been so +afraid of appearing in earnest," growled Gray. "I don't believe there +was so much brilliant wit wasted when men were leaving college every day +to join their regiments. I wish I had been here then."</p> + +<p>"So do I," drawled Rattleton; "what a bully excuse a fellow would have +had for not getting his degree."</p> + +<p>"What an excitement there must have been," went on Gray, without +noticing the interruption. "Just think of being cheered out of the Yard +when you left for the war, and then perhaps distinguishing yourself, and +coming back to Class Day with your arm in a sling."</p> + +<p>"Just think of coming back in a pine-box," added Hudson, graphically.</p> + +<p>"Well, suppose you did? You have got to die some time, and your name +would have been put on a tablet in memorial."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but you wouldn't have been tickled by seeing it there," said the +irritating Stoughton. "Half your patriotism is vanity, Ernest, you +shallow theatrical poser."</p> + +<p>"It would do you men good to read the <i>Memorial Biographies</i>," Gray +continued, now thoroughly aroused, and paying no attention to the side +remarks. "They ought to be part of the prescribed work for a degree."</p> + +<p>"Yes, but as Hudson says, you couldn't do that if you were a +biographee," reasoned Dane Austin, the law-school man, taking a hand in +the baiting.</p> + +<p>"It would be perfectly disgusting to hear you fellows talk this way," +Gray declared, "if one didn't know that it was all affectation. I am not +sure that that fact does not make it worse. You all really feel just as +I do, but you are afraid to say so."</p> + +<p>"Another appalling case of Harvard indifference," observed Stoughton. +"The modern dilettante has no noble desire for red war."</p> + +<p>"He likes to make people believe that he has no noble desire for +anything, and he has a morbid fear of being a hypocrite. As a matter of +fact, you are all of you the worst kind of hypocrites, for you try to +appear worse than you are."</p> + +<p>"Oh, dear, no," Rattleton protested, lazily, "that would be too hard +work for any of this crowd—except me."</p> + +<p>"A war would be a good thing to stir you up. I almost wish the war times +would come again," exclaimed Gray, hotly.</p> + +<p>"Now you are getting right down to work," laughed Hudson. "What a rise +we are getting out of our earnest young man to-night."</p> + +<p>"You let your feelings get away with you, Gray," added Holworthy. "I +don't believe it was all glory and enthusiasm in those days. You forget +there was another side to it. For instance, Jack Randolph's governor was +not cheered out of the Yard when <i>he</i> left for the war."</p> + +<p>"Yes, there <i>was</i> another side to it," came a voice from the other end +of the room, and a big arm-chair, that had been facing the fire with its +back to the knot of men, was pushed around so as show its occupant. He +was evidently one of that wide class known to the undergraduate as the +"Old Grads." An old grad. attains his title as soon as he ceases to be a +very young grad.; there is no transition degree. In this case he seemed +about middle aged, perhaps fifty, with hair turning gray, and a rather +deeply marked brown face. The latter was just then a little flushed, and +had the expression often seen on a face that has just been looking a +long time into a fire and a long way through it.</p> + +<p>The lounging students started a little at this sudden interruption, and +stirred as young men do on finding themselves suddenly in the presence +of an older one. Rattleton took his long legs down from their supporting +chair, Hudson pushed his hat back from his nose to its proper place, +Dixey took his hands out of his pockets and sat up straight, while Dick +Stoughton paused in the act of relighting Mary Jane, and when the match +burnt his fingers forbore to swear. As the cause of the disturbance rose +and came towards them they stood up. Hollis Holworthy showed signs of +positive uneasiness. He turned bright red in the face, as he recognized +the man whom he had just described as "an interesting old cock."</p> + +<p>"I—I beg your pardon, sir," he began, "I had no idea——"</p> + +<p>"That the old cock was present?" laughed the older man. "I assure you, +my boy, that I was not in the least offended, and even had I cause for +offence, I deserved it. Your remark was a retribution, a striking +repetition of history. I remember once asking Holworthy of '61 who the +bully old boy in the beaver hat was, and the bully old boy proved to be +Holworthy '32. Thirty years are like a spy-glass—your views depend upon +the end through which you look."</p> + +<p>The thirty years melted at once beneath the laugh that followed this +introduction, and, as the stranger took a chair among the group, the +smoke went up again from Mary Jane and other pipes.</p> + +<p>"Then you were in college with my father?" asked Holworthy. "You must +have been here just in the time of which we were speaking."</p> + +<p>"That is the reason why I took the liberty of joining so abruptly in +your conversation," said the graduate. "I want to tell you young men a +story. I have never told it before, and would not tell it to any other +audience, but I know that it can be fully appreciated by you, and it +belongs to your traditions. So I am going to give it to you, if you do +not mind being bored for a while by an old grad."</p> + +<p>"I don't think any of us will raise any serious objections," said +Stoughton, as he paused.</p> + +<p>The graduate smiled and then began: "As I said when I just now +interrupted your discussion, there was another side to the glory of the +war times in the old college. To the war itself there was, of course, +another side, and I was on it. Up to the breaking of the storm we boys +had not troubled ourselves much about the out-look. Most of us took +politics lightly, and though burning then, still, among us at least, +they were, as now I suppose, more the subject of good-natured chaff than +of bitter feelings. However deeply the more thoughtful of us may have +felt, they never allowed their convictions to interfere with their +friendships. Of course, there were a few loud-mouthed zealots who made +themselves disagreeable, but they were as much so to men of their own +opinions as to those of the opposite.</p> + +<p>"Hardly any one really expected war, or, if he did, ever said so. The +historic shot fired on Sumter was, therefore, as much of a shock to our +little community as to all of the North—even more, for a civil war +meant more to us. To us, you know, fraternity is a reality.</p> + +<p>"When the news came so that it could not be denied, it was not talked of +between us Southerners and the rest. Next came the news that my State +had gone out. That night my chum Jim Standish and I sat in our +window-seat and smoked a long time without speaking. Finally the +question came from him, 'Well, old man, are you going?' I said, 'Yes.' +Then he put out his hand and I took it hard. When we had nearly finished +our pipes Jim spoke again, 'When this is over, Tom,' he said, 'you will +come back and get your degree with us.' I shook my head, I remember, and +answered: 'It won't be over until long after our commencement—or else +Harvard will be in a country foreign to me.'</p> + +<p>"You see I remember that evening and the conversation very vividly. It +was all we ever held on the subject. I knew what Jim's opinions were, +and he knew mine well enough; but he was too much of a gentleman to make +my position any harder for me than it was. I was going to do what I +considered my duty,—let that pass now also; it was more than a quarter +of a century ago.</p> + +<p>"Very soon the letter came from home, but I did not need it to hurry me. +Jim and I were together almost every minute until I went away, and all +my other friends seemed to go out of their way to show me courtesy and +affection.</p> + +<p>"The night before I left was Strawberry Night at the Pudding, and I +remember I had intended not to go to the rooms. They were then in the +top of Stoughton. I was packing in my room when Jim and Harry Rodes and +one or two others came in, as a committee, to insist on my going. The +committee accomplished its purpose by the usual smooth-tongued diplomacy +of the undergraduate. They told me not to make a damn fool of myself, +and that if I did not come round like a man, the theatricals should not +go on. So I went, and tried to forget on my last night in the Yard that +there was any world outside of it. That is the play-bill of those +theatricals hanging over there on the wall now. What a time we had that +night!</p> + +<p>"I went home next day, with Clayton Randolph, Jack Randolph's father, as +the rising generation always puts it. There was not much difficulty in +getting South at that time. I enlisted soon after I arrived, and, as a +result, was rather busy for four years.</p> + +<p>"Of course, for a long time I heard nothing from Cambridge. You boys +know how almost the whole graduating class went to the front, and many +an underclassman did not wait for his Commencement. You can read the +degrees won by some of them in Memorial Hall. Every now and then I saw +in that precious booty, a Northern newspaper, a name that I had last +heard called in a recitation, or had myself many a time shouted across +the Yard.</p> + +<p>"The stray Northern papers were not my source of news in all cases. +There was one name that for a time was in the mouths of all our men, and +I had to risk their scorn and suspicion in defending it. They would +hardly believe that the man who could lead a black regiment, and die in +the front of his niggers in that terrible charge on Fort Wagner, was not +a hardened ruffian, a desperate mercenary, but a fair-haired boy of +five-and-twenty, and the most sunny, lovable gentleman that ever left +the ballroom for the battle-field.</p> + +<p>"I saw myself the fall of a man of different mould, but of the same +metal. We were holding a strong position and had repulsed two heavy +charges, when we saw the enemy forming for a third. This time they came +closer than in either of the previous attempts, and it looked for a +minute as if they would reach us. But our fire was frightful, aided by +several batteries that were pouring in grape and canister at short +range. The regiment immediately in front of us came on well; but no body +of men could stand it, and at last it wavered and then broke. Through +the smoke I could see a mounted officer tearing about and trying +desperately to rally the men, striking with the flat of his sword, and +evidently beside himself with anger. Then, as he found it was no use and +his men left him, he turned, rode all alone straight at us, and was shot +through and through. I have seen too much of what is ordinarily called +courage to be attracted to a man solely by that commonest of virtues; +but this man's splendid scorn of surviving his failure, his fury at what +he considered disgrace, and his deliberate self-sacrifice, lifted his +act above the common run of bravery. That man had breeding, and I wanted +to have a look at him. After the fight was over, I went to where he lay +dead with his horse. It was Boredon of '61. I had hated that man. He had +been one of those disagreeable cranks of whom I have spoken, a man +absorbed with one idea and allowing that idea to color all his feelings, +and spoil his manners. He had been to me as a red rag to a bull. But +when I recognized him there, I would have given a great deal to have +been able to tell him how proud I was of him. Evidently he had at least +the hard part of a gentleman. I went back to my brother officers, and, +with a good deal of boyish swagger I am afraid, said to them, 'That +fellow was at Harvard with me. That is the sort of fools they make +there.'</p> + +<p>"Well, the war went on until we were hemmed in around Richmond in '64. +It was at that time that I ran across Clayton Randolph, whom I had not +seen since we left Cambridge together. I came near not recognizing him +in the circumstances in which I found him. A battery of artillery had +got stuck in the mud, but as I came up to it the last gun was being +dragged out. An officer seemed to be doing most of the work, shoving on +the wheels and encouraging his tired men. Shortly afterwards we were +again halted next to the same battery, and there was the same officer +sitting on a stump. His old uniform was covered with mud and +axle-grease; his beard was four days' old; but he was Clayton Randolph, +Randolph the dandy, Randolph, the model of neatness, whose perfect +clothes had always been an object of chaff among us; Randolph, whose +heaviest labor had been to polish his hat, and deepest thought to plan a +dinner. He was sharing his piece of stale cornbread with a hungry little +darky. You may imagine that we were rather glad to see each other. +Clayton, however, had no more Cambridge news to give me than I had to +give him, which was rather a disappointment. His battery was stationed +near my regiment that winter, so we managed to see a good deal of each +other in camp.</p> + +<p>"One day, as I was sitting in front of my tent, I saw Clayton come +galloping into the company street as though carrying urgent despatches. +On seeing me he began shouting and waving his cap, as if there was +danger that I might not see him and hear what he had to say. He was +evidently beside himself about something,—and so was I, when he pulled +up and yelled: 'What do you think? Jim Standish is in Libby prison!'</p> + +<p>"I forget how he had learned this, but I remember he was very sure of +it. By great luck and much energy we both managed to get leave that same +day, and go to Richmond together; but we were disappointed in our hopes +of seeing Jim. We turned every stone we could, and tried our best with +the authorities, but it was no use; we could not get into the prison. +There had been several escapes at that time, and no visitor of any sort +was allowed to enter. The provost in charge, however, who knew Clayton, +told us we might send Jim a letter, subject, of course, to its +examination by the authorities. So we wrote him that we were there, and +asked if there was anything he wanted us to send him. We explained that +we could not get in to see him, but that he must write us all the news +he could.</p> + +<p>"In a short time the guard who had taken our note came back and asked +what relation to us 'that young feller' was. We told him no relation by +blood, but something a little closer, perhaps. 'Well,' said he, 'I never +saw a feller take on so when I give him your note. He begged me to let +him talk to you, and he most cried. Then he begged worse kind just to +let him look out of a window where he could see you. He asked which side +of the house you was on, and I reckon if I'd ha' told him he'd ha' made +a break for the window and risked my shootin' him. I was right sorry, +but I couldn't do nothin' for him but get him some paper. He's writin' +you a letter now, and says for you to be sure and wait for it.'</p> + +<p>"There was no danger of our not waiting for it. Neither of us had heard +a word from the old place or from any of our friends for three years. I +suppose none of you boys has ever been separated from his college +friends for a longer time than the long vacation?"</p> + +<p>"I was away for a year after graduating," answered Dane Austin. "I was +abroad with a classmate, and I remember the first long letter from one +of our chums; all about the Springfield game, and what all 'the gang' +were doing. We read that letter over every day for a month."</p> + +<p>"Then you can imagine what it was to get news after three years, and +three such years. We waited and waited for that letter, and at last it +came out to us—a regular volume. I have it now. I don't believe Jim +ever wrote so much in all his college work put together. We sat with our +backs against a wall while I read it aloud.</p> + +<p>"First it gave us all the news from Cambridge;—among other things, that +we had won the boat-race on Lake Quinsigamond. Randolph said that almost +made up for Gettysburg, and we had a little cheer all to ourselves. I +remember a man came running up to hear what the news was and whether the +Yankees had been licked anywhere. We told him not that we knew of, but +Harvard had beaten Yale, and he went off damning us for making such a +row about nothing. The letter went on to say that there would probably +be no race that year, as most of the rowing men had gone off to the war. +Almost all of our old set had gone into the army, it said. That jolly, +good-for-nothing rattle, bad Bob Bowling, who was always on the ragged +edge of expulsion, always in hot water with the Faculty, and who had +been booked by every one for a very bad end, had disappointed them all +and found a distinguished career in a cavalry regiment. But the hero of +the class was little Digges, 'Nancy' Digges, the quiet, shy, little +pale-faced student who looked as if he would blow away in a strong wind, +and whom no one had thought was good for anything but grubbing for Greek +roots. This man had been promoted several times for gallantry. At +Gettysburg, when Longstreet's corps was right on top of his battery, +when his supports had been driven in, his horses shot, and his gunners +were falling around him, he had dragged his guns back by hand, one by +one, and stopped to spike the last while one of our men was reaching for +him with a bayonet. When I read this we both exclaimed: 'Well, I'll be +hanged, Little Nancy!'"</p> + +<p>"It was at Gettysburg also that Jim had seen Harry Rodes. The last time +that Jim had seen him before that was just before leaving college, when +Rodes had been elected president of the Hasty Pudding; this time he was +lying in the grass, where it was red. There was like news of several +other old chums.</p> + +<p>"'As for your humble servant,' Jim wrote, 'he has only succeeded in +getting himself ignominiously jugged by your Johnnies.' I heard, long +afterwards, how he had been captured, pinned under his dead horse, with +a broken sabre, and three of our men to his score. 'This is not so much +fun,' he went on, 'as that night in the Newton jail, which perhaps you +may remember, Tom. You got me into that, you riotous companion and +perverter of my youth.' I remembered that scrape of our Sophomore year +very well, but I had a strong impression that it was Jim who upset the +officer of the law. He told us he could stand Libby, however, well +enough, if he only had a little smoke, and asked if we could not give +aid and comfort to the invader in the shape of tobacco. At this Randolph +exclaimed: 'Jim Standish without his pipe! That is a real case of +suffering among the prisoners!' The letter wound up with an injunction +to answer it at once and tell all about ourselves and the other boys on +our side, and with the hope that we should all be at the next triennial +dinner.</p> + +<p>"As soon as we had read the letter we went off and spent all our savings +in tobacco. That was the only cheap thing in Richmond in those days, and +we got enough to last Jim for months, though I have no doubt that he at +once gave most of it away. Then we got some paper, and wrote him all we +knew of the Harvard men on our side of the fence. We could give an +equally good account of them, too; for though, as disobedient children, +Alma Mater has frowned on us, she never had cause to blush. We finished +the letter before it was time for us to go back to camp, and sent it +with the tobacco to Jim. We promised to try again to see him, but +neither of us could get leave for a long time. If we had there would +have been little chance of our getting into Libby; and if we had gotten +into Libby, we should not have found Jim there."</p> + +<p>As the speaker paused Stoughton asked, "Why? did he es——" and then +stopped, inwardly cursing himself, as he noticed a look that was coming +into the face of the narrator. But the latter at once relieved him +immensely by continuing.</p> + +<p>"Yes, he escaped—very soon after our visit. A lot of prisoners got out +together, Jim among them. The news was sent to all the troops near +Richmond and instructions to keep a sharp lookout for them. Jim managed +to get to our very outer lines, and one pitch-dark night tried to run +the picket. The officer in command saw him in the brush and challenged +him. Jim, trusting to the darkness and his old hundred-yard records, +tried to make a dash for it. The officer fired and shot—shot him down +like a dog."</p> + +<p>The speaker's cigar had apparently gone out, and no one looked at him +while he relit it. They looked at the walls where the firelight danced +over the rollicking play-bills of thirty years ago. In a moment the +graduate spoke again:</p> + +<p>"As I leaned over the dearest friend I ever had, we recognized each +other and he smiled. I took his head in my lap and he died holding my +hand."</p> + +<p>"Then you saw him before he died? Were you with the picket?" asked Gray.</p> + +<p>"Yes.—I commanded the picket."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LITTLE_HELPING_HANDS" id="LITTLE_HELPING_HANDS"></a>LITTLE HELPING HANDS.</h2> + + +<p>It was all the result of a violent discussion in Stoughton's room. +Hudson held that four miles an hour was an easy walking gait; Stoughton +and Gray said it wasn't.</p> + +<p>"I tell you," said the latter, "when you are doing better than three and +a half, you are hitting it up pretty well, and you couldn't keep it up +for any length of time. Don't you remember, Dick, we timed ourselves +when we walked out from Boston the other night? It took us fifty minutes +from the corner of Charles and Cambridge Streets, and that is just about +three miles."</p> + +<p>"Yes, and we went at a pretty good pace too," added Stoughton.</p> + +<p>"That was probably after a supper at Billy Parks'," Hudson explained; +"under those circumstances you undoubtedly covered a great many more +miles than the crow flies between here and Boston."</p> + +<p>"No, witty youth, it wasn't anything of the kind. We don't follow in +your footsteps," retorted Dick to this innuendo. "No, sir, you couldn't +walk four miles an hour all day to save your neck."</p> + +<p>"I'm betting I could," Hudson replied, "I have done it often out +shooting."</p> + +<p>"I dare say you thought so; have you ever tried it over a measured +stretch?"</p> + +<p>"No, but I can guess at about what rate I am walking, and four miles an +hour is a good easy swing. I'll bet you a V that I can do twenty-four +miles in six hours."</p> + +<p>"I'll take that," answered Stoughton, promptly.</p> + +<p>"So will I, if you offer the same," said Gray.</p> + +<p>"Yes, I'll bet with you, too," said Hudson.</p> + +<p>Just at that moment Ned Burleigh came in, going through the form of +giving the door a thump as he opened it, and telling himself to come in.</p> + +<p>"What are you abandoned sports betting about now?" he asked, as he +covered the whole front of the fireplace as usual.</p> + +<p>"Steve thinks he can walk twenty-four miles in six hours," answered +Stoughton, "and we each have five dollars worth of opinion that he +can't. What do you think about it?"</p> + +<p>"I don't know; he is a pretty fast young man. Is it to be on a cinder +track, or over an ordinary road? That would make a great difference."</p> + +<p>"Have you any fond hope," asked Hudson, "that I am going to make a Roman +holiday of myself on Holmes' Field for the edification of you children +and the whole University? I am quite aware that that is just what you +would like; you would be out there with a brass band. No, my friend, I +ask for no advantages. I am quite willing to take my chances over any +ordinary country road, and in ordinary clothes."</p> + +<p>"Extraordinary English knickerbockers, you mean," corrected Ned.</p> + +<p>"You can take the road from here to Framingham," suggested Stoughton. +"That is a perfectly straight one and you can't miss it. It is a little +short of twenty-four miles, but we will allow you the slight +difference."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I know that road," said Hudson. "I drove over it when I was at +school at Southborough. Strike the Worcester turnpike, don't you, after +crossing the river at Watertown, and then keep on through Newton, +Wellesley, Natick, and all those places? All right, I'll take that road."</p> + +<p>Ned Burleigh reflected a moment. "I think," he admitted, with a shake of +his head, "that it can certainly be done by any man with strength and +sand; but Steve Hudson can't do it."</p> + +<p>"I'll tell you what, old fatty-cakes," declared Hudson, indignantly, +"I'll bet <i>you ten</i> dollars on the event."</p> + +<p>"No, I won't go you ten, because I don't believe in betting so much on a +certainty. Besides, you are hard up now, and you would undoubtedly +borrow from me the money with which to pay me your bet. I can't afford +to have you do that, sweet me child, but I will contribute a five like +the others, towards this purse."</p> + +<p>It was arranged that Hudson should choose his day, and give notice of it +to the others in the morning. Then the tones of the ancient bell, tolled +by the ancient Jones, came from the ancient belfry of Harvard Hall, and +Hudson and Gray went over to a recitation in University Hall.</p> + +<p>When they had gone Burleigh delivered himself of a great whoop of +ecstasy. "He can do it easily, I know," he said. "We shall lose our +money, but, Great Cæsar, it will be worth the admission. We must get all +the others to bet with him, too, so that he won't back out. Let's go and +get ready for it at once."</p> + +<p>"What do you mean?" queried Stoughton, "what are you going to do?"</p> + +<p>"Can't you guess, Mack, you Eyetalian? Come on, I'll tell you," and they +went out over the Square towards a printer's.</p> + +<p>Three or four days after this Hudson appeared at breakfast in his +walking breeches and big Scotch stockings and announced he was going to +start. He would leave Harvard Square at half-past ten o'clock and arrive +at the town hall in Framingham at half-past four on that afternoon.</p> + +<p>Stoughton and Gray said that they might be at the finish to receive him, +if they found nothing better to do, otherwise he could time himself at +the finish. Both of these men had ten o'clock lectures, so they could +not see him start. Holworthy and Randolph had promised to make up a four +for a morning pull on the river. Rattleton, of course, had not yet come +to breakfast. Burleigh also had a ten o'clock that he felt he really +ought not to cut (it did not strike Steve at the time that this was no +reason to Ned for not cutting); so he regretted exceedingly that he +would have to let Steve start off uncheered and time himself. He would +endeavor to be at the finish, however, to carry Hudson home.</p> + +<p>Promptly at half-past ten Steve left Harvard Square, with a swinging +stride, and struck up Garden Street by the Washington elm and thence to +Brattle Street. He was in fine form and spirits and had chosen his day +well. It was one of our glorious, manful November days that have had +much to do, I firmly believe, with the progress of this nation; days +when a man can do anything; when the sparkling, drinkable Northwester +floods your lungs, and swells your chest into a balloon that seems to +lift you clear of the ground. On such a day the twenty-four miles ahead +of him seemed nothing to Hudson, and he sprang along overflowing with +spirits.</p> + +<p>The historic University town, with all its associations, seemed to him +more beautiful and interesting than ever. Washington, he thought, might +have taken command of an army under the old tree four or five times a +day in such weather. No wonder Longfellow could keep the Muse at his +fireside in that fascinating Craigie house. As he neared the end of +Brattle Street, he went by peaceful Elmwood, where a poet, ambassador, +scholar, and patriot was then ending his days; and buoyant, youthful +Steve was struck by that perfect waiting-place for the great gentleman +whose work was done. He wondered whether any of <i>his</i> friends would ever +stir and honor the nation, and whether the great man had been anything +like them when he was a fool undergrad. The traditions of the Hasty +Pudding said that he had been a good deal like other boys.</p> + +<p>Hudson reached Watertown well ahead of time. To his annoyance he saw +that the street through which he had to pass was crowded, principally +with small boys. "Something or other must have happened," he thought. "A +dog-fight, or a runaway, or a man carried into a drug store. If the +attraction is still on, I am all right; if not, I shall have to run the +gauntlet."</p> + +<p>He soon discovered that the latter apprehension was the true one, and +that he was in for just that species of entertainment. A great cheer +went up as he approached, and a body of embryo leading citizens ran +forward to meet him. They closed in all around and escorted him along +the main street between two lines of shouting people.</p> + +<p>"Hey, mister, give us some!" "Go on, you'll do it; good boy, Wingsey." +"When're yer goin' to fork 'em out?" "Rats, dat ain't him, dat fancy guy +is one o' de Ha'vards, sure." "Will yer look at de jay?" "Get on to de +legs!" "What's he got 'em wrapped up in, shawls?" "Naw, carpets." "Say, +mister, yer pants is got caught inside yer socks." "I guess them is +English, yer know." "Ain't yer going to give us no gum?" "A—ah, let 'm +alone, he ain't nothin' but one o' them stoodent jays. He ain't no +winged wonder, a—ah!"</p> + +<p>The above was what Steve enjoyed in his progress through Watertown. He +finally shook off his pursuers on the edge of the village, and breathed +freely again, as he "crossed the river and mounted the steep." The +beauty of the Charles begins at this point, and he sat down for a minute +to look at it and rest. On his left was the first dam, the end of +navigation for the college craft; on his right the river wound away from +its high banks to the brown meadows beyond. While he sat there a +four-oared crew shot under the bridge and rested on their oars in the +quiet pool at his feet, just in front of the falls. He knew the man who +was steering and called to him. "Hullo, Hudson," came the recognition, +"what are you doing up here?"</p> + +<p>"Off on a tramp. Glorious day for exercise, isn't it?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, you have no idea how I enjoy this rowing," answered the coxswain.</p> + +<p>"Have you seen Holworthy and Randolph up around this part of the river?"</p> + +<p>"No, they were coming in this boat, but backed out because they had +something else on hand, I believe."</p> + +<p>"Oh, did they? Well, good-by, I have got to hurry along. I am walking +against time."</p> + +<p>Steve strode on through Newton, and Newton Centre, and Newton Lower +Falls, and all the other Newtons, and to his horror he found in each +town the same gathering, and went through the same ovation that he had +received in Watertown. Had he gone to work and picked out a public +holiday? No, he was sure it was not that, and the fact that it was +Saturday, and the schools had therefore turned their swarms loose on the +suffering country, would not account for all of the crowd in every +village. Perhaps there was an extra election going on in that county. +What puzzled him most, however, was that all the urchins seemed to +expect something of him besides mere amusement, and a pitiable example +of dress.</p> + +<p>He passed close by Joe Lee's at Auburndale; several children ran across +the lawn of the famous hostel, and after "sizing him up," went back with +expressions of disappointment. The worst trial of all, however, was the +battery at Wellesley. He had to go by the Female College, or Ladies' +Seminary, and there was a large group of the students of that +institution, by the roadside. Steve had never before been afflicted with +bashfulness, and did not acknowledge that he was troubled in that way +now, but he felt peculiarly alone, and would have given much for another +man or just a few less girls. By the terms of his bet he could not run +any of the distance; but a giggle almost made him throw up the stakes +and break the pace. By a great effort, however, he brazened it out, and +even smiled cheerfully. He made a penitent inward resolution never to +lean out of the window again when a girl went through the Yard.</p> + +<p>When more than half way, he stopped to speak with a farmer leaning over +the fence by the road. The uncrossed Yankee of the rural districts still +clings to a prejudice of his fathers, a prejudice, long since dropped in +our more progressive communities, that a man has a right to wear what he +chooses and do what he chooses provided he neither shocks nor interferes +with any one else. This old farmer looked at Steve with wonder and +interest, but did not think it necessary, as had the good citizens of +the factory towns, to heap scorn and derision on "de dood." He bowed to +the wayfarer, as he would to any well-behaved stranger.</p> + +<p>"Good afternoon," said Hudson, grateful for this drop of human kindness. +"Can you tell me, sir, how far it is to Framingham?"</p> + +<p>"Wa-al, abaout nigh on to ten mile or more, they call it. There's a +train goes pretty soon; ye won't find it so fur in the cars."</p> + +<p>"Oh, I'm going to walk it," explained Steve, with a smile.</p> + +<p>"Thet's a powerful long walk, young man. How fur ye come already?"</p> + +<p>"From Cambridge."</p> + +<p>"Gosh! Well your legs is young and pretty long, but ye must want suthin +to do' pretty bad. Be ye broke or anythin'? Want any victuals?"</p> + +<p>"No, thanks, I am walking for fun, trying to do it on time, you see."</p> + +<p>"Mebbe you're advertisin' suthin'? Oh, I want to know! Be you the winged +wonder o' Westchester, or some sech place I hear tell on jest now?"</p> + +<p>A light began to glimmer in Hudson's mind. He had been asked several +times if he was the "winged wonder," but had paid no attention to the +question, supposing that it was merely a form of the great public wit. +Now it was asked him in perfect good faith, and the name of his own home +was added to the alliteration. He began to connect his persecution with +Holworthy and Randolph's failure to row.</p> + +<p>"No," he answered his friendly interrogator, "not intentionally, but I +am beginning now to suspect that I <i>am</i> occupying some such position. I +am much obliged to you for your information. I must move along now."</p> + +<p>"Good day, sir; guess ye'll want a heap o' corn-plasters when ye git to +Framin'am."</p> + +<p>"Not with these stockings," laughed Hudson, glad of an opportunity to +justify his clothes, "they're thick and soft, great things to walk in."</p> + +<p>"They be, eh? Well, I kinder thought they wasn't just for looks. I don't +want none to-day, though, good day."</p> + +<p>"Good-by," and Steve went on, feeling sure that the old man still +suspected him at least of peddling footgear.</p> + +<p>Just before the end of his tramp he sat down for a rest on an inviting +fence rail. He had plenty of time to spare, but the grassy bank might +have kept him too long and made him stiff. Oh, how pleasant that +three-cornered rail did feel! A piece of paper blew across the road and +whirled up in his face. It was a hand-bill of some sort; he remembered +now having seen several of them along the way, but had picked up none. +He caught this one and turned it over. This was what he read:</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<h4>HE IS COMING!</h4> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Wait for Him! Watch for Him!</span></h4> + +<h4><span class="smcap">The Winged Wonder of Westchester!</span></h4> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Peerless Pedestrian Prodigy!</span></h4> + +<blockquote> + +<p>He is matched to walk twenty-four miles to-day for an enormous +purse. He holds world records for pedestrianism. He will wear +one of our custom-made London suitings, unexcelled for natty +outdoor wear and stylish appearance. They are all the rage in +England, and therefore sure to be popular here.</p> + +<p>He will also distribute, gratis, tops and marbles to the boys +and chewing-gum to the ladies. Watch for him, everybody; he +will be here soon, and will follow this road.</p> + +</blockquote> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Come out, Girls! Come out, Boys!</span></h4> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Now is Your Chance.</span></h4> + +<h4><span class="smcap">Wait, Watch for the Winged Wonder of Westchester!</span></h4> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The glimmer dawned to a great light. He jumped down and hurried along +the remaining mile or two as fast as his weary legs would go. There was +no crowd awaiting him on the out-skirts of Framingham, and for a few +minutes he hoped that he was going to at least finish in peace. Vain +hope! As he approached the public square he saw it crowded with people +and heard the strains of a brass band. On turning the corner he was +received with a great shout. Then he saw a sight that explained it all, +and caused him to exclaim, "The three-year-old idiots!"</p> + +<p>In front of the town-hall was drawn up a barge with four plumed horses. +In it were a band of music and a full delegation of Steve's devoted +friends. Ned Burleigh was up on the box haranguing the populace.</p> + +<p>"What sort of a fool circus are you children trying to make of +yourselves," asked Hudson, as he came up.</p> + +<p>"A grand one, old man, and you have been the elephant, the shining star +of the whole show," replied Burleigh. "You will find beer in the +ambulance."</p> + +<p>"You have won the money handsomely, Steve," acknowledged Stoughton, "and +we all accept with pleasure your kind invitation to dinner."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="A_RAMBLING_DISCUSSION_AND_AN_ADVENTURE_PERHAPS_UNCONNECTED" id="A_RAMBLING_DISCUSSION_AND_AN_ADVENTURE_PERHAPS_UNCONNECTED"></a>A RAMBLING DISCUSSION AND AN ADVENTURE, PERHAPS UNCONNECTED.</h2> + + +<p>Dick Stoughton came to lunch that day in a decidedly bad humor, cause +unknown. He was late, and all the other members of the club table were +there, including the two dogs. A "Gray baiting" was going on. This sport +consisted in working up the poetic feelings of Ernest Gray, and then +ruthlessly harrowing the same. Gray was a fiery, imaginative little man, +whose soul compassed far more than his body. His impulsive nature drove +him constantly into the net spread by his friends, but he had become +used to the process, and perhaps it did him good. Whether or not he had +in him the stuff for a true poet, he was at least in no danger among +those men of becoming a false one. He was just then stirred to a fine +condition on the subject of Philistinism, was violently supporting the +famous professor of the Humanities, and had almost got to the point of +quoting poetry.</p> + +<p>"It makes me laugh a low, sad laugh," remarked Stoughton, gloomily +buttering a muffin, "when I think what Gray will be doing thirty years +from now."</p> + +<p>"We have arranged all that," said Burleigh. "Ernest is going to marry a +strong-minded woman four times as big as himself, who will take him out +shopping and make him carry the bundles and the twins."</p> + +<p>"No, it will be a greater change than that," continued Dick. "At fifty +he will probably be a keen, representative business man. He will be +celebrated for being better able than any one in Wall Street to cheat +his neighbor, and he will be absorbed in the occupation. He will be a +man of strength and stamen, a man of industry, a plain, hard-working +man. He will publish Letters of a Parent, in bad English, about the +degeneracy of education at Harvard, and will refuse to send his sons +here for fear of their becoming dudes and loafers. He won't spoil good +paper then with odes and fantasies; he will devote it, instead, to +watering stock and foreclosing mortgages. Just see if he doesn't."</p> + +<p>"Are you narrow enough to think," asked Gray, defiantly, "that a man +cannot work in this world, and work hard, without shutting his mind to +everything outside of his tool shop?"</p> + +<p>"Perhaps he can," answered Stoughton, "but he never does in this +country; he hasn't time. Whatever we take up, we have got to keep at +fever heat or else go to the wall. It will be work, work, work until we +become utterly uninteresting machines. It can't be helped, we have got +to make up our minds to it some day and we had better do so now. We are +all wasting four valuable years in this anomalous spot of Cambridge, +when we ought to be learning bookkeeping. We are a nation of one-sided +workers, and we might just as well accept the situation philosophically. +I am sure I for one don't care a cent. Only I wish I had not fooled away +my time so long, with a set of men made up of dilettantes and bummers."</p> + +<p>Dick emphasized the concluding word by handsomely scooping the last +sausage just ahead of Jack Randolph, who with a bow and wave of his hand +gracefully acknowledged the defeat. It was a strict rule of etiquette at +the club table to take the odd trick of any dish, whether you wanted it +or not.</p> + +<p>"Hello," exclaimed Burleigh, with a happy light in his face, "Dick has +waked up to the seriousness of life again. That is the third time this +month." Stoughton's occasional pessimism was as fair game to his +friends, as Gray's poetry, so the victim for that day's lunch was +promptly changed.</p> + +<p>"So he has," added Hudson. "He has a good, old-fashioned attack of +remorse. Where were you last night, Dick? Must have been an awful +spree."</p> + +<p>"Is it a letter from your governor?" queried Rattleton, sympathetically.</p> + +<p>"Perhaps it is the letter on your forensic," suggested Randolph. "Jack +Rat got an E. on his, but just see how sweetly <i>he</i> takes it."</p> + +<p>"A little serious reflection is undoubtedly a good thing for you, my +son," observed Hollis Holworthy. "But though I don't want to flatter +you, excuse my saying that you talk like an ass. Even if your premises +were true your conclusion is false. If we Americans are all such +narrow-minded money-makers, that is all the more reason for trying to be +something better. But it isn't so. I don't believe work has necessarily +any such effect. Gray is right."</p> + +<p>"My conclusion is all right. The difference between us is that I am +perfectly contented to be as the rest of my countrymen are; you want to +be something different, <i>ergo</i>, you are a snob. Furthermore my premises +<i>are</i> true, and you will find them so, my poor children. I am a few +years in advance of you, that's all. Just see how men change after they +leave college. Go over to the Law School and look at those grinds, each +one working night and day to get ahead of the rest. I met old Dane +Austin the other day crossing the Yard, three huge books under each arm, +and a pair of spectacles across his nose. He used to be the best built +man in the 'Varsity boat, but he doesn't touch an oar now, and won't try +for the crew, unless they absolutely need him at the last minute. He is +getting red-eyed and pale, and looks almost hollow-chested. A man can't +keep up with the law and pay any attention to his physique. He is losing +all his strength and good looks."</p> + +<p>"You had better hit him once and find out," suggested Holworthy.</p> + +<p>"Thanks; I don't care to put my theories to quite such a test," +acknowledged Dick, with a grin. "But it is true just the same. It is +true of every other occupation. Go down to New York and stand on Wall +Street. You will see a dozen men you knew, at least by sight, in +college, men who used to be well-dressed and well-bred. Down there they +rush by you with a nod, in all sorts of costumes,—dirty, slovenly, +nervous. Sometimes they will stop for a moment to shake hands, and make +some impertinent remark on your clothes. I don't mind the prospect +myself, but I am only laying it fairly before you blissful, careless, +conceited youths."</p> + +<p>"I rather think you will find that those fellows haven't forgotten how +to turn themselves out properly when there is any need for it," said +Holworthy. "You don't wear your town togs to recitations here."</p> + +<p>"There is no doubt about it, this work and worry does spoil a man's +looks," said Burleigh. "Just look at that poor wreck over there," +pointing to Rattleton.</p> + +<p>That student had finished his lunch (or breakfast) and stretched his +legs as usual in the next chair. He was engaged in throwing crackers for +his dog Blathers to catch, and was rather out of the conversation. He +caught the last remark only.</p> + +<p>"You have no idea what a handsome man I'd be if I didn't work so hard," +he replied.</p> + +<p>"It is all right for you, Jack," Stoughton went on. "A watchful +Providence has sent you an income. It is almost a pity, though, for you +would make a fascinating tramp. No amount of either starvation or public +opinion would ever make you change your calm, philosophical life. But +the rest of us must all get into the procession and keep up with the +brazen band. No wonder so many of our girls marry Englishmen. They are +dead right, too; they don't want to marry worn-out machines, they prefer +men."</p> + +<p>"Hurray!" shouted Hudson. "The secret is out. Some Englishman has cut +him out with his best girl."</p> + +<p>"I am not handicapped with any such nonsense, thank Heaven," growled +Dick. "But if I was, by Jove, I wouldn't be fool enough to do any work +for her sake, as so many misguided men do. No, sir, I'd take life easily +and keep my figure, as our trans-Atlantic cousins do. I'd spend my days +with the daughter and live on the old man. That is what girls like, and +they do have some sense."</p> + +<p>"That is perfect rot," exclaimed the poetic Gray, expressing his roused +sentiment with more force than grace. "Life to-day is just what it was +in the days of chivalry. A true knight must prove his love with his +lance, and win his wife like a man."</p> + +<p>"There you go, of course," answered Stoughton; "clap your leg over +Pegasus, and off across country, regardless of hedges and ditches, or +the narrow roads of commerce. Suppose his lance got busted, as was +frequently the case?"</p> + +<p>"Sic 'im, sic 'im," chuckled Burleigh. "We have got the poet and the +cynic by the ears. Oh, this is lovely!"</p> + +<p>"Both of 'em amateurs," added Holworthy, "and neither knowing what he is +talking about."</p> + +<p>"Two to one on the poet, though," said Randolph. "He is always in +earnest, anyway."</p> + +<p>"Shake hands, gents," said Rattleton, getting interested. "Time."</p> + +<p>"Now just listen to me," said Dick, tilting back his chair and waving +his fork pedantically. "I'll give you a really accurate picture of your +dear days of chivalry, such as you never got out of a romance."</p> + +<p>"Silence for Sir Walter Stoughton's account of a tourney," commanded +Burleigh. "Steve Hudson, pull that pup of yours off the table; she'll +upset the milk pitcher."</p> + +<p>"I have just been reading all about that sort of game," interrupted +Rattleton. "Seems to me they were a most unsporting lot. They had no +classes or handicaps; just lumped 'em all in together, feather-weights +and heavy-weights. No idea of a fair thing."</p> + +<p>"Shut up your childish prattle, Jack," commanded Burleigh. "If you will +push your researches far enough you will find that the little fellows +always won. The giants invariably got the heads smote off 'em. We are +not on the brutal subject of prize-fighting, we are on chivalry. You +know nothing about that, so keep quiet and let Dick go on."</p> + +<p>"I suppose you have an idea," Stoughton went on, "that every interesting +young gentleman who entered the lists was a sure winner, and then all he +had to do was to crown the heroine as Queen of Love and Beauty and live +happily ever afterwards. Now of course that wasn't so. Some one had to +get thrashed, and most young knights probably occupied that position for +the first ten years or so of their career. Take an individual case; Sir +Ernest Gray, bent on winning glory for Dulcinea, looks over the sporting +calendar and enters himself for every big field-meeting during the +season. He bears himself right bravely in them all, but gets stood on +his head with great regularity; in fact Dulcinea gets a little tired of +watching his performance. Nevertheless she goes to the crack meeting of +Ashby de la Zouche, to see Gray try again.</p> + +<p>"This tourney is carried off with great ease by an old hand, Sir Thomas +de Mainfort, who, having been separated from his third wife on the +ground of brutal treatment, is not doing any love-proving with his +lance. He is simply a mug hunter; he is in for the white Barbary steed, +and the other fellows' armor."</p> + +<p>"Gate money?" broke in Rattleton interrogatively.</p> + +<p>"Same principle," answered Dick. "He wins the appointment of the Queen +of Love and Beauty, and takes d—— good care to choose the king's +elderly daughter; thereby putting in good work for a government office. +Of course, none of the fair damsels in the ladies' gallery are in the +slightest degree interested in <i>him</i>, that goes without saying; but do +you suppose that they are a bit more interested in the poor youngsters +whom he has been knocking about? Not much. The fellow who takes their +eyes is a chap in a white satin doublet, cut in the latest French +fashion, who has sent flowers to Dulcinea, and is hanging over the rail +of the ladies' gallery, talking to her. He is a delightful young man. He +can sing the songs of the Troubadours that he has heard in Provence. He +knows all the latest gossip about that delicious row between the Pope +and the German Emperor. He spends the proper season in each Continental +court. He is so different from the homely, insular youths who are +pummelling each other down below in the lists. They never can think or +talk anything but fight. He says funny things about those youths, and +criticizes their armor. Altogether he is charming. Handsome and well +preserved, too. Splendid figure, and could undoubtedly fight well if he +had to; but he doesn't have to, and isn't fool enough to do it. No +bruises on him.</p> + +<p>"After the fight is over young Sir Ernest comes along, in a sheepish +sort of a way, to see what Dulcinea thinks of his day's work. Sir Ernest +was a pretty good-looking boy when he started on the career of arms. +Now, however, he is showing marks of wear. The saddle has made him +bow-legged, the helmet has worn off much of his hair, and the gauntlet +has raised corns on his knuckles. Some of his front teeth have been +knocked out. Besides the wear and tear in his personal appearance, his +mind runs largely on parries and thrusts, relative advantages of +chain-mail and Milan plate, and all that sort of shop talk. He can not +sing the new Romance songs, he knows only the old ones that his nurse +taught him. Dulcinea used to like him very much, and is still fond of +him in a way. If he had accomplished the marvel of winning the whole +tournament, of unhorsing the old veteran De Mainfort; if he had won the +crown of Love and Beauty, and brought it to her, giving that hideous +stuck-up old Princess the go-by, Dulcinea would have loved him fondly, +and been ready to marry him then and there. But he has not brought her +the crown of Love and Beauty; he has only brought a stove-in helmet and +a black eye. True, he has been fighting his level best, but how much +good has it done him? He has unhorsed two or three young men of his own +weight; he has even put up a stiff set-to against big De Thumper, who +won the Templar stakes; but Dulcinea did not see him then, she was +talking to the interesting foreigner. Then he ran up against Sir Thomas +de Mainfort, and got landed on his back; Dulcinea was looking right at +him that time. He got up like a little man, without claiming his ten +seconds, and went for the redoubtable Sir Thomas again. Thereupon the +big fellow smashed him on the jaw, and put him to sleep, so that it took +his squires half an hour to bring him round. Dulcinea took that in, too, +and the amusing foreigner remarked on what conceit a youngster must have +to go in for this sort of thing against men like De Mainfort. The +highest renown that the young knight has so far won may possibly be a +line next day in the Ashby <i>Herald</i> and <i>Tournament Gazette</i>. It will +run something like this: 'Where are we to look for the De Mainforts and +Thumpers of the next generation? There is absolutely no new material +worth mentioning. Young Gray gives a little glimmer of promise in some +of his back-strokes, but his work is eminently crude and boyish. +However, if he gets over his swelled head, he may in twenty or thirty +years of hard work become a fair lance.' Do you think that helps his +chances with Dulcinea? D—— that dog of yours, Hudson, she has stolen +my muffin!"</p> + +<p>"Are you all through?" demanded Gray, who had been restraining himself +with difficulty.</p> + +<p>"No; hold on. I haven't shown you half your trouble yet. At the banquet +in the evening, Gray sits on one side of Dulcinea and the handsome +stranger on the other. Gray is sore and tired and comes near falling +asleep at the table, while the other fellow discusses the Italian +painters, and tells anecdotes of the Dauphin of France. Gray used to be +able to play the harp well, and can still play sometimes in the +evenings, when his fingers are not too lame; but they generally are. He +can also get into his satin doublet on Sundays and great occasions, and +look almost as well as the other chap; but he does so <i>only</i> on +occasions, whereas the stranger keeps himself up to the mark all the +time. Dulcinea cannot help thinking, therefore, that Gray is a boor and +a bore, even though he sometimes shows capabilities other than those of +getting his head smashed. On the other hand, Dulcinea's governor is a +stout baron of the old school. He looks upon Gray as a dude and aper of +foreign customs, for taking a bath after a hard day in the lists and +leaving off his breastplate at dinner. The old man's chief boast is that +with his own good sword he has carved out all his fat lands and broad +baronies, and he asks, as he proudly thumps his chest, how he could ever +have done all that if he had put on effeminate airs and fooled away ten +minutes every week in a bath-tub. Now I ask you to drop your poetry for +a minute, substitute reason for imagination, and confess that this is +really what a young knight had to take. Dixi, let's hear what you have +got to say."</p> + +<p>"Just this," answered Gray, "that your Dulcinea is a fool. Any true +woman would appreciate a man's best efforts, even if unsuccessful. I +claim that such Dulcineas are the exception and not the rule. Point two. +Your young knight is also a fool if he allows himself to become nothing +but a mere bruiser and cut-throat. He ought not to forget that he is a +gentleman as well as a fighting man. He can pay some attention to the +graces of life and fight none the worse for it. You say he knows the old +songs,—those are the best always—and he can pick up the new ones in +spare moments. It makes no difference how he dresses, so long as he has +a good excuse for dressing badly, and doesn't forget how to dress well. +As for your point about his personal appearance, that doesn't amount to +a row of pins. It certainly can't trouble him, and it wouldn't trouble +Dulcinea if she had any sense. I don't believe any woman objects to +honorable scars in a man."</p> + +<p>"Every woman doesn't throw poetry around them as you do. Honorable scars +received in commonplace everyday scrapping don't count."</p> + +<p>"This has not been a fair fight," declared Holworthy. "I can see through +this man Stoughton, now, and understand it all. He has prepared all this +harangue, and is trying to pass it off here as impromptu. Now, I am +going to give him away. I was with him the other evening at a dinner. +There was a girl there who had been abroad for the first time. She had +spent the last season in London, for the expenses of which her governor +probably had to do double work at home. She had quite naturally, fallen +completely in love with all those great big, splendid-looking chaps who +float about London in long coats all day during the season. A handsome +leisure class. Some of the biggest and best dressed of them, by-the-way, +are quite apt to be her own humdrum countrymen on a vacation, but she +hadn't found that out yet, and it has nothing to do with the present +discussion, anyway. I heard her remark to Dick during dinner that +Englishmen were so much better looking and more agreeable than American +men. That is an undeniable fact, in daily life, but Dick was fool enough +to get a little mad over the observation. He couldn't think of any +brilliant repartee at the time, but came home and slept over it. Next +time he meets that girl, or one like her, he will be loaded for bear, +but he wants to rehearse a little, first, so he has brought his mediæval +metaphor here to try it on the dog. He knew that our hair-trigger poet, +with a little joggling, would be morally certain to shoot off something +about love and lances; that was just the opening he wanted. Keep it for +your next dinner-party, Dick. It doesn't mean anything but it may make +you feel clever and entertaining. I hold that Brother Gray has thrown +you and your Dulcinea down hard."</p> + +<p>"It is perfectly true to life, anyway," said Dick, with a conscious +grin; "but you are wrong in accusing me of worrying about it. I don't +mind the prospect in the least, as I said before, and am only warning +you snobs who think you are something pretty nice. You can't carry your +poetry out of college. Your 'graces of life' as you call 'em, either +mental or physical, won't raise your salary in an office, and your hard +work in the office won't help you to figure in a ballroom. If you get to +the top before you are thirty, Dulcinea may smile on you; but you are +not likely to do anything of the kind. You will probably spoil all your +other chances with her in the attempt."</p> + +<p>"Listen to our man of the world, you fellows," said Burleigh. "Jack +Rattleton, stop playing with that ugly pup and improve your advantages. +Uncle Richard, here, aged two and twenty, has upon half a dozen +occasions made the exertion of going to a party in Boston, where he has +talked foot-ball with some <i>débutante</i> and been floored on Esoteric +Buddhism by an elderly lady who had it. He has spent all the rest of his +time smoking a villanous pipe in Cambridge. He is now giving us, from +his wealth of experience, a few opinions and straight tips on the nature +of woman."</p> + +<p>"I don't pretend to know anything about 'em," protested Dick, stoutly, +"and care less. But this I do know, that, among most men, success counts +for more than endeavor, and I am willing to bet that it is four times as +much so with women."</p> + +<p>"And I know this," said Hudson, "that you, on your own confession, don't +know what you are talking about, and are in a beastly humor. You need +exercise; come on over to Fresh Pond and go skating."</p> + +<p>"Yes, do take him off," sighed Rattleton; "when he and Hol and Gray get +theorizing it gives everybody a headache. They'll go around to the Pud. +and keep it up there if you don't take them skating."</p> + +<p>Stoughton replied to this by kicking the hind legs of Rattleton's +carefully balanced chair, and upsetting him on top of the dog Blathers. +After which exchange of courtesies the party adjourned, arranging to +meet and go to Fresh Pond at three.</p> + +<p>Holworthy did not join the skating party; he had promised to go for a +walk with his chum Rivers. Gray also had some engagement. As the others +were starting out with their skates, they met the latter little +gentleman arrayed in his best. He tried to pretend that he didn't see +them. They promptly set up a cheer and began ostentatiously making +snow-balls.</p> + +<p>"Didn't you say something at lunch about men in New York who made +impertinent remarks about your clothes," demanded Gray of Stoughton.</p> + +<p>"This isn't New York," answered Stoughton. "When a man puts on all his +feathers and paint on a week day in Cambridge, we know he is on the +war-path."</p> + +<p>"Dog his trail, dog his trail," yelled Hudson. "Let's see what wigwam it +leads to."</p> + +<p>"Doesn't he look pretty?" shouted Burleigh. "Only his coat doesn't fit +in the back."</p> + +<p>"Look at that smooch on his collar," exclaimed Randolph.</p> + +<p>"I hope you children will grow up sometime," grumbled Gray, as he +hurried on.</p> + +<p>An hour or two afterwards Gray was walking into Boston in very good +company. The new Harvard Bridge was not then built, and the two (yes, +only one other) were passing through one of the more lonely streets of +Cambridgeport that lead to the Cottage Farms bridge. A hard-looking +citizen turned a corner ahead of them, and on catching sight of the pair +stopped with some insulting remark. Gray's blood boiled into his face, +but he had sense enough to cross to the other side of the street with +his convoy. The man, evidently in liquor, promptly did the same, and +showed that he meant to give trouble.</p> + +<p>"Run back as fast as you can to Main Street," said Gray to his +companion, upon which advice she wisely and quickly acted.</p> + +<p>The rough started forward, and Gray placed himself in the middle of the +path.</p> + +<p>"Hold on," he commanded. "Don't come a step nearer."</p> + +<p>"Get out of my way, you little dude, before I eat you up," answered the +other.</p> + +<p>The little dude naturally did not get out of the way. He dropped his +stick and squared himself for the enemy. Then, contrary to the generally +accepted pleasant idea, the burly ruffian proceeded to "eat up" the +slender thoroughbred.</p> + +<p>The light-weight met his adversary's rush handsomely, but utterly failed +to stop it. The tough closed, "back-heeling," and at the same time +landing his right with a door key in it, used as brass knuckles, thereby +cutting Gray's face open. As the latter tripped and went down under the +blow, the tough kicked him. Gray jumped to his feet again, however, and +managed to fasten on the rough's back as he went by. They went down +together, the rough on top with his knee on Gray's stomach. This knocked +the wind out of the little fellow terribly, still he clung to his +adversary. The latter struggled to free one of his hands, with the +amiable purpose of choking, or of gouging the eye of the youth under +him, when a shout made him look up. He managed to tear himself away, and +sprang to his feet. Holworthy and his chum, Charles Rivers, who was No. +4 in the 'Varsity crew, were tearing down the street.</p> + +<p>The second battle was quite as unequal as the first, for there was as +much difference between the big college oarsman in the pink of +condition, and the rum-soaked Port tough, as there had been between the +latter and the plucky little stripling. It is only justice to the tough, +however, to say that no idea of flight entered his mind; he was quite as +ready to fight the big dude as the little one.</p> + +<p>His hand went to his hip-pocket, but evidently the weapon was not there. +Then he gathered himself and made a spring at the new-comer. As a result +he ran his face into a big fist at the end of a long, straight, +stiffened left-arm. At the other end of that arm were a hundred and +ninety pounds of hard-trained muscle. As he staggered back from this +concussion, he got the hundred and ninety pounds again, concentrated in +a right hander on his fifth rib. That doubled him up, and then it was +River's turn to rush. He knew enough not to close, for the brute, though +practically knocked out, could still use his teeth if he got a chance. +Holding him up by the throat with his left hand, with his right Rivers +pounded the ruffian on the jaw, then threw him senseless on the ground.</p> + +<p>"There, that will do. He'll come to after awhile," he remarked, "but he +will do no more mischief at present. You chivalrous little jackass," he +continued, turning to Gray, who was wiping the blood from his face, "I +saw you throw away your stick when we first caught sight of you. It's +lucky you weren't killed. Of course you couldn't help fighting under +these circumstances, but if you ever get caught with a beast like that +again, don't ever try fair prize-ring methods with him. It is only in +books that the nice young man thrashes two or three toughs bigger than +himself in a square fight. These chaps know how to fight just as well as +you; what is more, they know how to fight foul, and always do if they +get a chance. Just remember, now, if you ever have to tackle this kind +of cattle again, cut him right over with your stick. Paste him under the +ear for keeps."</p> + +<p>"If this isn't just my luck!" said Gray, looking ruefully at the blood +on his handkerchief. "Here have I been longing and praying for this sort +of an opportunity, and when it comes, by Jove, I get a thundering +licking and another fellow comes along and saves me and the girl both. +Hang it, Charlie, I could have held on to him until she got away."</p> + +<p>"Too bad," laughed Rivers, "I beg your pardon. I didn't think. I ought +to have let you get killed or gouged for her and glory, oughtn't I? +Come, cheer up, old man, you did a great deal more than I, and deserve +all the favors. Let's go back and see her."</p> + +<p>They walked back to Holworthy and the fair <i>casus belli</i>. The latter had +paused in her flight on the arrival of the reinforcements, and with +natural curiosity and anxiety had watched the fray from a distance. As +her rescued rescuer and his rescuer came up, she held out her hand to +Rivers, and uttered her gratitude in nervous broken sentences.</p> + +<p>She expressed much sympathy for Gray.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="SERIOUS_SITUATIONS_IN_BURLEIGHS_ROOM1" id="SERIOUS_SITUATIONS_IN_BURLEIGHS_ROOM1"></a>SERIOUS SITUATIONS IN BURLEIGH'S ROOM.<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></h2> + + +<p><span class="smcap">Scene</span>:—Room of Hudson, Burleigh, and Co. (Co. being Topsy, the +terrier).</p> + +<p>Burleigh seated in easy chair, legs stretched towards fire, back to +table, dog in lap, reading and smoking long pipe.</p> + +<p><i>Hudson</i> [<i>from his bedroom</i>]. Oh, Ned!</p> + +<p><i>Burleigh.</i> Hullo?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Aren't you going to the Assembly to-night?</p> + +<p>[<i>Enter Hudson from bedroom putting on evening coat.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>without looking up</i>]. Did you ever know me to go to more than +one Harvard Assembly? Don't ask foolish questions.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Well, don't you be such a lazy lummox. [<i>Going to +looking-glass.</i>] Really, Ned, you ought to go out more among decent +people.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Yes. I have such a good time when I do. At the last and only +party in Boston to which I ever went, I knew just one girl, and spilled +ice-cream on her dress. After holding up the wall for an hour and a +half, and finding it impossible to get you or any one else to come back +to Cambridge with me, I started home alone in Riley's cab. Mr. Riley +felt in a sporting mood as usual, and insisted on racing an electric +car. We broke down at Central Square. It was snowing hard and the walk +home in patent leathers was lovely. When I got home, of course, I found +that my keys were chained to my other trousers, and I busted the bags I +had on in climbing through the ventilator over the door. I dropped on +the rocking-chair and the pup both at once, and then found there was +nothing to drink in the book-case. Oh, I enjoyed the last Assembly +thoroughly. I think it would be fun to go again. Ugh!</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Very few ever go to a party for pleasure, my dear boy. It is a +duty that you owe to yourself. If you never go to balls, you will never +know how to behave in a ballroom. When you have learned to do that, why +then you needn't go to balls.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> That is logical.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> It is also a duty that you owe society.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Society can have my share of the supper, and call it square.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Well, now look here, Ned, I want you to go in to the Assembly +to-night for a particular reason, besides your own civilization.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> I won't go. What is your reason?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> My mother and sister have come on to Boston and are going to be +at the ball to-night, and I want you to meet them.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Why didn't you say that in the first place? But, Steve, aren't +you going to have them out here pretty soon? I can meet them then.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>emphatically</i>]. No, sir. Not if I know it, until I can be sure +of keeping out all the duns and sporting gentry who are apt to call +unexpectedly. Numerous acquaintances, whom I do not care to have my good +mother meet, might drop in to a little five o'clock tea. I shall +probably get my quarter's allowance before long, and then I can chain up +the Furies for a while, and have my family out here with an easy mind. +That bull mick Shreedy is gunning for me just at present, and if my +mother knew I owed money to a prize-fighter she would never get over it.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Well, won't it do if I go in to-morrow and call?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> No, I promised them that you would be there to-night, and they +will be awfully disappointed if you're not. They are naturally anxious +to know my chum as soon as possible.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Then they will be awfully disappointed if I <i>am</i> there. You know +perfectly well, when I talk to a girl at a party, what a painful ordeal +it is for both of us. You ought not to spring me on your sister under +such conditions. It's unfair to me and a poor joke on her.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Oh, don't be such a bashful ass. You can do well enough if you +try. My sister knows that you hate parties, and will appreciate your +coming. Now, do promise me, there is a good fellow.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Well, I suppose I shall have to. But, Steve, I haven't time to +dress for this thing to-night.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Nonsense. You have plenty of time to dress. How long does that +operation generally take you?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Three quarters of an hour to dress, and an hour and three +quarters to tie my cravat. I think I shall have to get one of those nice +store cravats that come all tied, and strap on with a buckle.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Yes, get a pretty satin one with pink rose-buds on it. Oh, I +shouldn't be surprised to see you turn up in anything. [<i>Putting on hat +and overcoat.</i>] I tell you what it is, Ned, if you continue to shun all +feminine society you will soon become an unmitigated boor.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> I am at college, thanks, and prefer it. I shall have plenty of +time to take up feminine society, as you call it, after I graduate.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> You will be a cub, and society won't take <i>you</i> up. Now, old man, +it is awfully good of you to come in on my account to-night, so don't +back out,—and make yourself look as much like a gentleman as you can. +Come in as early as possible. [<i>Exit Hudson.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>sol.</i>]. Why the deuce does a fellow want to go chasing into +Boston, when he has only four years of this sort of thing. Steve does +not half appreciate college. However, I suppose if his family [<i>Taking +photograph from table</i>] is going to be there, I ought to go in. It is +only decent. [<i>To photograph.</i>] So, Miss Hudson, you and I are going to +meet, eh? Oh, what a fool you will think me! Now, if I could only look +at you without trying to talk. Steve is right, though; I ought to cure +myself of this fool shyness and awkwardness before the other sex, or I +deserve to be called an ill-bred cub.</p> + +<p>[<i>Knock at hall door.</i>]</p> + +<p>Come in! [<i>Puts down photograph hastily.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<i>Enter Jack Randolph in long coat and rubber boots.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Randolph.</i> Hullo, Ned! Did I leave my umbrella in here the other day?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> It is a pretty good one, isn't it? No, I guess I haven't seen +it.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>Taking a cross-handled umbrella from beside fireplace.</i>] Lucky +you haven't.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Oh, while I think of it, here is that X I owe you [<i>pulling bill +out of pocket</i>].</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Good man! Marvellous memory! Remembered the wrong end of a debt. +I am glad you did, for I am devilish hard up just at present. [<i>Taking +cigar from mantel-piece.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> So is everybody at this time of year. This is a great sacrifice +on my part.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Don't give it to me now. Keep it until to-morrow, won't you? +[<i>Lights cigar.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Better take it while you can get it. I shall have spent it next +time we meet. Why don't you want it now?</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Well, I will take it, just to relieve you. I haven't anything on +but this ulster, which is not a good thing to put money in. You see, I +am going round to a dress rehearsal at the Pudding.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Oh, that is why you are all bundled up on this clear night. Let +us see your dress.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> No, you will see it soon enough at the show to-morrow night. +Where is Steve?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Gone in town to trip in the mazy.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> The habitual dude! Oh, of course, the first Harvard Assembly +comes off to-night. If it was not for this rehearsal I would go in and +do the butterfly myself. What would hire you to go there, Charlie?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Give me back that ten dollars and I will go.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> I don't believe you would; but I'd give you the ten dollars if I +could be there to see you.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Well, if it will please you to know it, I <i>am</i> going in.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> What! You going to a party! What has happened?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>with dignity</i>]. Nothing. It is a duty that I owe to myself and +society. If a man never goes to balls he will never know how to behave +in a ballroom.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>with derisive laughter</i>]. That is pretty good from you. Steve +has evidently been giving you a lecture. Come now, Ned, choke that off +and tell me honestly what is up.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Nothing, I tell you. If a man shuns all polite society, he will +become an unmitigated boor.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> If you don't drop that second-hand stuff of Hudson's, and tell +me who the girl is, by Jove, I'll tell every man in college about it, +and it shall be a very amusing story before I get through with it, I +promise you.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Well, you see—er—Steve's mother is going to be there and he +wants me to meet her.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Oho! That is it, is it? Steve's <i>mother</i> is going to be there. +Ha-ha-ha, that is pretty weak, old fox. I suppose, of course, there is +no chance of <i>Miss</i> Hudson being there too. Well, if she is half as +pretty as her photograph, I don't blame you for going in. Egad, though, +Ned, I would like to see you talking to her.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> I have no doubt you would, sweet me child, but you won't. That +is just where the best point of this funny joke comes in. While I am +talking to Miss Hudson, you will be out here, at the rehearsal, getting +sworn at. "Go over that chorus again." "Randolph, you're out of step."</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Damn the rehearsal. Never mind, Miss Hudson will probably be on +here for some time, and I shall get another chance of meeting her. When +I do, I will make a particular point of cutting you out. You won't be in +it, even if you are her brother's chum.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>getting up</i>]. You are talking too much. Come now, run along. I +have got to dress.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> I wish I had time to watch you do it. I don't believe you have +put on a claw-hammer coat since you've been up here, except for club +dinners.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Oh, go round to your rehearsal. You will be late.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>going to hall door</i>]. If it doesn't begin on time, I'll come +back here and help you untangle your neck-tie. Don't make yourself too +pretty. Leave me some chance with Miss H. [<i>Exit.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Jack is too fresh to-night. Come, pup. [<i>Picks up Topsy and +exits into bedroom.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<i>Enter a certain Prof. Shreedy (unattached to the University.) He +softly closes door after him, and knocks on inside</i>].</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>from bedroom</i>]. Come in.</p> + +<p><i>Shreedy</i> [<i>aside</i>]. I will. [<i>Calls</i>] Is Mr. Hudson in, I dunno?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>putting his head out of his bedroom</i>]. Hullo, is that you, +Shreedy? No, Mr. Hudson is not in, and he won't take any sparring lesson +to-night any way.</p> + +<p><i>Shreedy</i>. Well, I just come to see him about a little matter of +business, see? Maybe you might——</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> No I mightn't. There is not a dollar in the firm, Shreedy, +anywhere. Hudson has gone in town. I can't give you a cent, and if you +don't get out of here pretty quickly, I may have to borrow a car fare +from you. Call again next week. Good evening, and get out. [<i>Slams +door.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> Ain't he getting pretty flip? The lippy dude! Maybe he thinks he +can put me off that way. Hudson gone in town, ah, rats! What an old gag. +I'll wait round awhile, 'cause I got to have that money to-night. I'll +lay for him in this other room, that's what I'll do, and nab him when he +comes in. [<i>Helps himself to two or three cigars and goes into Hudson's +bedroom.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<i>A soft knock on door, then enter Mrs. and Miss Hudson.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. Hudson.</i> Well, this is strange, I should think Steve would have +taken more care to meet us here.</p> + +<p><i>Miss Hudson.</i> Perhaps he has just gone out for a minute.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> He ought to have been on the lookout for the carriage, and not +compelled us to come up here after waiting twenty minutes at the door.</p> + +<p><i>Miss. H.</i> He may not have received your telegram.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> And has gone in town to meet us there? Good gracious! I hope +not. Well, we will wait a little while and see. But it is rather awkward +for two ladies to be visiting a college room in the evening in this way, +even if I am the mother of the occupant.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> I think it is lots of fun. What a jolly room he has. I wish I +were a boy.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Under the present circumstances, my dear, I wish so too. He +<i>has</i> arranged his room pretty well for a man.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> Now, let us look at all his things. We will begin with the +mantel-piece.</p> + +<p>[<i>They both turn toward mantel, backs to room.</i>]</p> + +<p>[<i>Enter Burleigh from his bedroom in evening trousers, no coat or +waistcoat, and four or five white cravats in his hand. Without seeing +the visitors, he crosses the room to the looking-glass, which hangs on +the wall opposite the fireplace, where the visitors are standing.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>to himself</i>]. Now for the great agony. Oh, life is very short +for this sort of thing. If Steve's family could only see me tying my +cravat, they would realize what devotion—[<i>Suddenly sees women in the +glass and starts.</i>] Good Lord! [<i>Turns head slowly and looks at Mrs. and +Miss H. whose backs are still turned.</i>] Oh, what in Heaven's name shall +I do? I can't get back to my room. Ha! the screen! [<i>Dives behind a tall +screen near the glass.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> Look at all these pipes! And what a horrid smell of tobacco!</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> I see that Steve's chum, Mr. Burleigh, smokes.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>aside over screen</i>]. And Jack Randolph just made the horrid +smell with one of Steve's weeds.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> [<i>finding on the mantel-piece a champagne bottle marked "ætat +21"</i>]. Oh, look at this!</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>aside over screen</i>]. Now she has got hold of the memento of +Steve's birthday. What next?</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> [<i>putting on glasses and taking bottle</i>]. Hm! I suppose that +Mr. Burleigh also drinks. I hope my son does all in his power to +restrain his comrade.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> I am so glad we are going to see the great Ned Burleigh at +last. Steve says he is so interesting—such a <i>funny</i> old bird.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>aside</i>]. Damn him!</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> I wonder where they are. One of them must be around, for they +would not both go away, and leave their light burning. We cannot wait +much longer.</p> + +<p>[<i>Enter Hudson, hurriedly.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Forgot my gloves, of course, and had to come back. Hullo, mother! +why, how did you two get here?</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Didn't you get my telegram?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Telegram? No, I suppose the boy will leave it, on his way to +breakfast, in the morning.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> We had to come out to Cambridge to a dinner at Prof. +Fullaloves, and thought we would stop on the way back with the carriage, +and take you boys into the Assembly. I telegraphed you this afternoon.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Well, it is lucky I came back. Have you been here long? Have you +seen Ned Burleigh?</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> Your chum? No.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> That is good. He must have started in. If you had dropped in on +Ned all alone here, he would have had twenty Dutch fits.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> Now, Steve, before we go, you must show us all your things. +[<i>Picking up photographs from mantel-piece</i>] Why, who are these?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Those, er—oh—ah—those—yes. Those are some of my chum's +relations. [<i>Aside</i>] Ned will forgive me for the emergency.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>aside over screen</i>]. Well, I'll be——</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> I thought those were not yours, dear.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> They are all in costume, aren't they.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Yes, yes, private theatricals, you know. The Burleighs are all +great on private theatricals.</p> + +<p>[<i>Enter Prof. Shreedy from Hudson's bedroom.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> [<i>aside</i>]. Begob, I have him now.</p> + +<p>[<i>Aside to Hud.</i>] Mr. Hudson!</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>turning</i>]. What! The devil! Shreedy! What do you want here? +[<i>Takes him down to front.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> A little matter of business. Look here, cully, I want dat ten +dollars you owe me for sparrin', dat's what I want. Better let me have +it and not make a fuss before de ladies, see?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>aside, over screen</i>]. Hurray, bind on Steve. Serves him right.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> I haven't ten dollars, Shreedy. I haven't a cent. Now, do clear +out, and I'll see you some other time about it.</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> Naw, some other time won't do.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> I can't talk to you now before my family. It is bad enough to +have them see you round here at all.</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> Dat's all right. Tell 'em I'm your chum. Just watch me do the +nobby. [<i>Smirks and waves his hat at ladies.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>aside</i>]. Oh, this is awful!</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Stephen, who is this person?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>aside</i>]. There is no other way out of it. I can explain later +[<i>aloud</i>.] This, mother, is my dear old chum, Edward Burleigh.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>aside over screen</i>]. By gad!</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Ah, indeed, I am delighted to meet you, sir. I feel that we +are old friends, already, Mr. Burleigh. I have heard so much of you.</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> Oh, yes, me and Steve is great chums, ain't we, Steve, old boy? +[<i>slaps Hudson on the back.</i>] [<i>To Hud.</i>] Put me on to de young one.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> [<i>aside to Mrs. H.</i>]. Oh, Mamma, he is awful. How could Steve +choose such a man to room with!</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Steve always said he was awkward with ladies, you know. +Perhaps he will improve on acquaintance.</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> [<i>to Miss H.</i>]. Pleased to meet you, ma'am. How is the state of +your health? 'T ain't often we see such a daisy out here, is it Steve? +[<i>To Hud.</i>] Oh, I can say perlite things to a lady. You needn't be +afraid, I won't disgrace yer!</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>aside</i>]. How long will this last?</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> [<i>to Hud.</i>]. Well, my son, I must say, your chum seems hardly +the retiring, bashful young man you have always represented him to be.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Oh, he is, he is. That's—er—that is just what is the matter. +His shyness takes this form, you see. He is really awfully embarrassed, +and—er—tries to pass it off in this way.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Curious forms of shyness.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Yes, very. It will pass off soon, and you will like him better +when the ice is broken.</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> [<i>to Miss H.</i>]. Ain't that a nobby dress you got on!</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> I should think the ice was at least badly cracked already.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>aside</i>]. I must get them out of here. [<i>Aloud</i>.] Come, do let +us start for the Assembly.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Well, dear, we have an extra seat in the carriage, and if Mr. +Burleigh would like to come, we will wait for him to dress. [<i>To +Shreedy</i>] Won't you come with us, Mr. Burleigh?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>breaking in</i>]. No—no—no! Ned never cares——</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> Why, sure. I'd be tickled to death. I am wid you easy. Let's go +right away.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> Don't you want to dress?</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> What will I dress for? Begob, I can dance just the way I am as +well as the next man. Wait till you see me take de flure. Oh, I'm a +dandy on me toes [<i>illustrates by a few steps</i>].</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>aside</i>]. Oh, this is too much. I shall have to tell the truth.</p> + +<p>[<i>Knock on door.</i>]</p> + +<p>There!! <i>Come in!</i></p> + +<p>[<i>Enter Randolph, still in his ulster, with the umbrella and smoking the +cigar.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Well, Ned, how is——. Oh, I beg pardon! [<i>Starts to back out; +Hudson rushes across and seizes him.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Randolph! Thank Heaven! Come here. [<i>Takes him aside.</i>] Jack, +have you any money with you? As you love me, Jack, let me have it.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> What the deuce is the matter? I have ten dollars in this coat, +but I need it.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Oh, kind Providence has taken care of its own! Let me have it, I +tell you. [<i>Randolph gives him the ten-dollar bill. Hudson rushes to +Shreedy.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Here is a nice position. Is Steve crazy?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>aside to Shr.</i>]. Here, you damned blackmailer. Here's your +money. Now get out, and don't let me see you here again.</p> + +<p><i>Shr.</i> Well, I should have enjoyed the party, but I need the money, so +I'll go. [<i>To the others</i>] Ladies, I'm very sorry, but I find I have a +sudden engagement, so I can't keep company wid you to de ball to-night. +I'm all broke up about it, but I hope I'll see you again. Be good to +yourselves. Good-by. Good-by, Hudson, ta-ta.</p> + +<p>[<i>Exit Prof. Shreedy.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Why, Steve, what is the matter?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> I will explain to you some other time. Let me present Mr. +Randolph, mother, and my sister. Mr. Randolph is one of my best friends. +I <i>owe</i> him a great deal. Are you going in to the Assembly, Jack?</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>decidedly embarrassed</i>]. No, I can't. There is a dress +rehearsal at the Pud; a <i>dress</i> rehearsal, you know, and I must go right +round to it now. I just came in for a moment. If you will excuse——</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Oh, nonsense! Stay a little while. Take your coat off.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>aside to Hud.</i>] Shut up, you jackass!</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> [<i>looking at Randolph's rubber boots</i>]. Is it raining, Mr. +Randolph?</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>uneasily</i>]. No, no, not yet, no, but it looks like rain.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> Why, the stars were all out beautifully a moment ago.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Yes—er—they—er—the stars? [<i>With a noble effort</i>] Ah, yes, +yes, the stars <i>were</i> out, yes. But, er—they—er—they may go in again, +you know. [<i>Aside</i>] What rot I am talking!</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Well, it is not going to rain in here, anyway. Do take off your +ulster and stay a minute.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Really, Steve, I'd like to, but that <i>dress rehearsal</i>, you +know.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Oh, let the rehearsal wait. We are going in town in a moment, +anyway.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Don't leave us, Mr. Randolph.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> [<i>at mantel-piece</i>]. Steve, of whom is this a picture?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>turning</i>]. Why, that is Jack himself in the last play.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Oh, do let me see it. [<i>Goes to fireplace. Hudson, Miss H., +and Mrs. H. stand at mantel with backs to room.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>from over the screen to Randolph</i>]. For Heaven's sake, Jack, +hand up that ulster!</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>seeing him</i>]. What in the name—what are you doing there?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>in a nervous and irritated undertone</i>]. Confound it, man, I +haven't any clothes on. Give me the ulster, quick!</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> Hurray! Up a tree, are you? You'll talk to her while I am at the +rehearsal, will you? I told you that when I met her you wouldn't be in +it.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Give me the coat, Jack; do, there's a good fellow.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> I'll be hanged if I will!</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> [<i>to his mother and sister</i>]. Here is Ned's room. I expect it is +a chaos just at present. [<i>They move to door of Burleigh's bedroom, +backs still to the rest of the room.</i>]</p> + +<p><i>Burl</i>. Come round here. [<i>Steps from behind the screen, and pulls Rand. +behind</i>.]</p> + +<p>Rand. [<i>from behind</i>]. All right, just for a minute. You promise to give +it back. [<i>Burl. comes out from behind screen, with ulster on. Rand's +head appears over screen</i>.]</p> + +<p><i>Burl</i>. I'll see. [<i>Walks towards others. Ladies turn</i>.]</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H</i>. Pardon me, Mr. Randolph——Oh!</p> + +<p><i>Burl</i>. Allow me to present myself, Mrs. Hudson——</p> + +<p><i>Hud</i>. Ned Burleigh!</p> + +<p><i>Burl</i>. Quite right, this time. I am Steve's chum.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H</i>. Why, Stephen, I don't understand.</p> + +<p><i>Burl</i>. [<i>to Hud., severely</i>]. I do.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H</i>. Will you explain this?</p> + +<p><i>Burl</i>. Yes, I think you had better.</p> + +<p><i>Hud</i>. [<i>putting on a bold front</i>]. Well, you see, mother, it was just a +little joke on Ned. Just a little joke, that is all. [<i>Forces a laugh</i>.]</p> + +<p><i>Miss H</i>. Then the other was not your chum?</p> + +<p><i>Burl</i>. Most certainly not.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H</i>. Well, I don't understand it yet. However, I am very much +relieved to meet the real Mr. Burleigh.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> Mother, I think we had better start for the Assembly.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Where is Mr. Randolph?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Oh, he has just gone out.</p> + +<p><i>Miss H.</i> He must have left rather abruptly.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> Yes, Jack Randolph has very queer manners. You see, he is +awfully bashful.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>to Burl. over the screen</i>]. Here, give me back that ulster.</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> [<i>aside to Rand.</i>]. I'll be hanged if I will. Who is in it now, +eh?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Well, let us be going.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Will you come with us, Mr. Burleigh?</p> + +<p><i>Burl.</i> I will follow you in later. I will go down with you to the +carriage.</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Well, come along.</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>over the screen</i>]. That is a low trick. [<i>Reaches for Burl. +with handle of umbrella three times; at third attempt screen falls over +and Rand. flat on top of it—in short ballet dress and pink tights. His +moustache, rubber boots, and decidedly masculine arms and legs make an +excellent effect with the garb of a première danseuse. Ladies shriek.</i>]</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>Mrs. and</i>}<br /></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Miss H.</i> } Mr. Randolph!<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p><i>Steve.</i> Jack!</p> + +<p><i>Rand.</i> [<i>nervously spreading umbrella in front of his legs</i>]. I—I +<i>beg</i> your pardon. Please excuse my—my <i>déshabillé</i>. [<i>To Hud., +savagely</i>] I told you I was going to the dress rehearsal. [<i>Kicks +Burleigh aside</i>] I'll get even with you, Ned.</p> + +<p><i>Mrs. H.</i> Well, Steve, this has been an exciting visit. Does a college +room often furnish such incidents?</p> + +<p><i>Hud.</i> Well, it's all the fault of——</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0"><i>Hud.</i> }<br /></span> +<span class="i0"><i>Burl.</i> } My awful chum!<br /></span> +</div></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="A_HARVARD-YALE_EPISODE" id="A_HARVARD-YALE_EPISODE"></a>A HARVARD-YALE EPISODE.</h2> + + +<p>"I'm off for New Haven to-morrow," Rattleton announced as he dropped +into Holworthy's room, where several of the "gang" were sitting. "Going +to sojourn two days in the Land of Eli."</p> + +<p>"You are, eh?" said Burleigh. "Well, you'll have a rattling good time +down there."</p> + +<p>"A '<i>smooth</i>' time, you mean," corrected Rattleton. "Don't you know how +to talk Elic yet?"</p> + +<p>"I beg pardon," said Burleigh. "When you get back I suppose you will +refer to the Porc as your 'spot,' and if any of us who are not members +asks you anything about it you will cut him dead."</p> + +<p>"Don't make any breaks down there about queer pins and extraordinary +buildings," said Stoughton.</p> + +<p>"They <i>are</i> funny about those things, aren't they?" replied Rattleton. +"But I have no doubt they can laugh just as much at us about lots of +things."</p> + +<p>"Of course they can," asserted Holworthy. "<i>Vide</i> the Dickey. That +institution is quite as absurd as anything they do down there."</p> + +<p>"Nonsense, Hol," protested Stoughton; "whoever thinks up here of taking +the Dickey seriously,—except, perhaps, a few Sophomores who are fools +and snobs enough to be either cocky about getting on it or sore about +being left off. And as for awe and reverence, if there is any such +feeling at all towards the Dickey, it is confined to less than a tenth +of the Freshman class. What Senior ever cares two snaps about it one way +or the other?"</p> + +<p>"That may be known well enough to us," answered Holworthy, "but what +does an outsider think when he sees Harvard men making such asses of +themselves, as those do who are running for the Dickey. Don't you +suppose it looks pretty childish."</p> + +<p>"For instance," asked Hudson, "if he saw a handsome and accomplished +gentleman holding a horse and dog-cart—as I did for you—while a +low-down mucker goes in to call on the handsome gentleman's best +girl—as you did for me?"</p> + +<p>"That was good for you," laughed Holworthy.</p> + +<p>"Or if he saw as I did," added Burleigh, "a dignified swell, named +Hollis Holworthy, kissing all the babies he met on the street."</p> + +<p>"Or a large and portly person," rejoined Hollis, "lying on his back in +the public square at Concord, and telling sympathetic citizens that he +was pierced by a British musket-ball. And then running in the dead of +night from Concord to Lexington, dressed in a continental uniform, +banging on the door of every farm-house with the butt of a musket until +he brought out the alarmed householder and told him that the regulars +were coming."</p> + +<p>"Who made me do it?" retorted Burleigh.</p> + +<p>"I acknowledge I had a hand in it," answered Holworthy. "I am +confessing, not defending. <i>De gustibus Sophomoris non est disputandum.</i> +But that is no excuse. At Yale they don't disgrace their college that +way at any rate."</p> + +<p>"They may have a lot of poppycock about their mysterious societies that +seems ridiculous to us," said Rattleton, "but they don't trouble anybody +else with it. Any way, they are good fellows, and they always give you a +royal time when you visit down there."</p> + +<p>"Yes, they do, my child," Burleigh assented in a serious tone. "Remember +that you represent the dignity of the 'Oldest and Greatest.' Take care +that they do not make a painful exhibition of our boy."</p> + +<p>"Ned knows," chuckled Hudson. "No one has ever been able to find out +exactly what happened to him when he stayed down there after the +ball-game last year. He came back, looking like the last hours of an +ill-spent life, with a confused story about some Yale beverage named +'Velvet' and a wonderful loving cup with no bottom, and a great many +handles."</p> + +<p>"Hush your idle scandal," said Burleigh. "Who are you going to stay +with, Jack?"</p> + +<p>"A first-rate fellow named Sheffield," answered Rattleton.</p> + +<p>"What!" exclaimed Hudson, "Joe Sheffield?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, do you know him?"</p> + +<p>"Wow!" yelled Stoughton. "Does Steve know him! Mr. Hudson, do you know +Mr. Sheffield?"</p> + +<p>"Shut up, Dick," said Hudson; "you promised not to tell that."</p> + +<p>"I never promised anything of the kind," declared Dick. "I had almost +forgotten it, but I am glad I am reminded. All your friends ought to +know about it, Steve. I am sure they would be pleased."</p> + +<p>"Hold on!" said Hudson, "if that yarn is going to be told, I prefer to +tell it myself. There is no sting in a clean breast."</p> + +<p>"Go ahead then," said Stoughton. "I'll see that you tell it straight. +Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."</p> + +<p>"It was down at Bar Harbor, last summer," Hudson began. "I was spending +two weeks with this man, Stoughton, who lives there in summer. Next to +his place there was, er—there was—er——"</p> + +<p>"A girl," interjected Dick, putting in the spur.</p> + +<p>"Yes, there was, and an awfully pretty one, too," declared Hudson, +defiantly. "If you will kindly refrain from interrupting, I can do this +thing myself. What I was going to say was this: alongside of Dick's +place, there was another place, and a most attractive one. There was a +beautiful view from the piazza of this house——"</p> + +<p>"<i>On</i> the piazza," corrected Stoughton.</p> + +<p>"Who is telling this story?" demanded Hudson. "Shut up and let me tell +it my own way. I used to go over to look at this view every day," he +continued; "so did this Yale man, Joe Sheffield. I used to know Joe at +St. Mark's, and liked him very well, but it was rather a nuisance to see +him at that house so much. Really he overdid it; why, I used to find him +every time I went there. Finally I made up my mind that the duel was on, +and I'd see who was the better man. Of course this was purely in a +sporting spirit, you understand; I only felt it my duty to beat Yale, +that was all."</p> + +<p>"Careful, careful," murmured Dick, warningly. "Remember,—the truth, the +whole truth, and nothing but the truth."</p> + +<p>"At first I tried sitting him out by fair means," Hudson went on, paying +no attention to Stoughton's side remark; "but the persistent bore outsat +me every time. He'd let me set the pace and do all the talking, and then +come in with a fresh wind on the finish and do me up. But early in the +struggle a powerful ally presented himself, the girl's small brother, +Freddy. He asked me one day why Sheffield wore that funny little pin all +the time. I have forgotten now which pin it was; but it was the symbol +of some particularly 'smooth' and secret band of brothers, and of course +Sheffield was never without it. I had been yearning to jab him on his +pin; but I knew I couldn't pretend to be innocent about it, and it would +have been a little too rude to deliberately and openly make him +uncomfortable. I told Freddy that I thought the pin had something to do +with a club at Yale, but I had no idea why Mr. Sheffield always wore it. +I suggested that he might ask Mr. Sheffield himself. It was a mean +trick, but I couldn't resist it. Freddy said he would, and I knew he was +just the boy to do it too. Freddy was of an inquiring and tenacious turn +of mind, and never dropped a research on any subject until he had found +out all there was to be learned,—he was a very fine little fellow.</p> + +<p>"A little while after that, we three were sitting as usual on the +piazza, when my young ally came running up; as soon as he saw us he sang +out in his delightful, eager, childish way, 'Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I want +you to tell me something.' Sheffield, pleasant as punch, said, 'What is +it Freddy?' You ought to have seen him when Freddy said, 'I want to know +why you always wear that funny little pin?'</p> + +<p>"Sheffield tried to pretend in the weakest way that he didn't hear him. +The big sister told Freddy to run away and play; but Freddy was not the +lad to be bluffed that way. He laughed in a knowing way and said, +'Ha-ha, I know. It's got something to do with some club at Yale, hasn't +it? You have got some secret about it, haven't you? But <i>I'll</i> find it +out. Nell has secrets too, but I always find 'em out.'</p> + +<p>"Hereupon his sister told him that if he didn't mind her, and stop +making a nuisance of himself, she'd tell his father and have him +punished. He said he wasn't making a nuisance of himself and appealed to +me. 'Mr. Hudson always tells me all about the Harvard clubs, don't you, +Mr. Hudson?'</p> + +<p>"I assured him that I didn't mind any such questions at all, and told +him (Heaven forgive and preserve me!) that if he would come and see me +at Cambridge I would make him have a first-rate time, and show him the +clubs to which I belonged.</p> + +<p>"'There,' he said, 'you don't think I'm a nuisance either, do you, Mr. +Sheffield? Isn't there a club at Yale called the Skull and Keys? I know +there is, 'cause I once heard Nell say she wondered how——'</p> + +<p>"His sister grabbed him and said 'Stop' so severely that she managed to +choke him off for a moment. But it had got too hot for Joe. He suddenly +remembered that he had an engagement at three, at the Kebo Valley Club, +and retreated, leaving the Crimson to wave alone and victorious over the +field.</p> + +<p>"Then how that girl did go for Freddy! He went off almost crying. I +tried to stand up for the little man, and remarked how ridiculous the +Yale men were about their societies. She didn't agree with me very +heartily. She said it was a relief to see some young men take at least +something seriously, and intimated that she didn't believe Harvard men +were ever serious about anything, or had any reverence in them. So for +half an hour I dilated on our great merits, and explained what worthy +young men we really are.</p> + +<p>"Next day I tried to 'set' Freddy on again, but it was no use; he had +been temporarily sat on. I was lunching at their house, and for a wonder +Sheffield wasn't there. I asked Freddy whether he had found out about +Mr. Sheffield's club yet. He said 'No, and I can't either. Nell told on +me, and Popper said he'd spank me if I troubled older people any more. I +didn't trouble anybody, did I, Mr. Hudson? I said you had told me +yourself to ask Mr. Sheffield about his pin, and Nell said you——'</p> + +<p>"I never knew what his sister had said about me, because, just at this +point, the old gentleman banged the table and roared, 'You eat your +lunch, sir!' and Freddy subsided.</p> + +<p>"A day or two after that, we all went on a picnic. Even Dick, the old +hermit, came along, for a wonder. I persuaded his family it wouldn't be +polite for him to stay home, as I was his guest."</p> + +<p>"Yes," put in Dick, "you were my guest and I was responsible for your +behavior. It wasn't the etiquette that worried my family, it was the +danger of the thing. Besides, I wanted to see you and Joe Sheffield +making fools of yourselves. You did it too, both of you. Go ahead. I +won't interrupt you again."</p> + +<p>"We all piled into those delightful long buckboards with four or five +seats, and drove to the foot of one of the mountains. There is only one +defect in the architecture of a Mt. Desert buckboard. It holds three on +a seat. Sheffield had to shove himself in on the same seat with the +pretty neighbor, so I got in on the other side of her. I did most of the +talking during the drive."</p> + +<p>(At points such as this during the narrative, Hudson would stop and +violently puff his cigar, while Stoughton would hug himself gleefully, +and show other signs of delight.)</p> + +<p>"We carried the lunch up the mountain," Hudson went on, "and ate it, +along with the ants and other things, on the summit. After lunch +Sheffield managed to drop me, somehow, and I went off for a smoke with +Dick. I consulted with Machiavelli Stoughton, as to how I might again +cast down the man from Yale. I knew the crafty Dago could help me, if +any one could. Dick wished for Freddy, for Dick always knew how to use +that interesting child; but Freddy had been left weeping at home. Dago +Mac' came up to his form, though. He suddenly pointed to a cluster of +brilliant wild flowers. I said, 'Yes, very pretty. What about 'em.' Then +Dick said 'Do you see that broad rock this side of them?' It was a +smooth slab that reached from the path, about twenty feet, down to where +the flowers grew. It slanted at a good steep angle, so that a man could +barely walk down it, with rubber-soled shoes. I didn't get much +inspiration out of the rock. Then Dick showed me a blackberry vine, or +some sort of a bramble, that ran across the face of the rock a little +more than half way down it. Still I couldn't see what he was driving at. +He said to come along and he'd show me. We went to the basket where the +remains of the lunch had been stowed, and Dick took what was left of the +butter. Then we went back to the rock and the Dago greased as much as he +could of it, just above the bramble. 'Now,' he said, 'when we start back +for the buckboard, you fall in alongside of Sheffield and the +enchantress. When you get to this rock, the method is very simple,—you +show the flowers, Eli will do the rest.'</p> + +<p>"At last I took in at a glance all the grand possibilities of the +scheme. I remembered that Joe Sheffield was very particular about his +appearance, and was dressed up to the hilt. He was always sensitive +about his clothes. I fell upon Dick's neck and wept tears of gratitude. +Then we went back to the rest of the party. Sheffield had had a monopoly +the whole afternoon."</p> + +<p>"A corner in Paradise?" suggested Burleigh.</p> + +<p>"Exactly," said Hudson, "or perhaps Paradise in a corner. They didn't +turn up until we had shouted for ten minutes and the party had all +started down the mountain. I ranged up alongside of the pair, thereby +breaking up the Paradise trust, and we three brought up the rear. When +we got to the point in the path, just above the prepared rock, I called +attention to the flowers, with great art. Of course she said: 'Oh, how +perfectly lovely! Oh, I must have some of those!' and of course away we +both jumped. I let Sheffield get a little ahead and then went carefully +around the rock. He bounded gallantly down the face of it until he +struck the butter. Then he sat down with a dull, sickening thud;—but he +didn't stop there. He glided merrily on, over the blackberry vine, and +in among the seductive flowers. He sat still for a minute, and I knew +the situation had dawned on him with all its hideous uncertainties. Then +he turned himself round, face to the path, and got up carefully and +slowly, with a sort of sideways motion. He didn't attempt to pick any +flowers. There was a great deal of sympathy expressed above, and +inquiries as to whether he was hurt. Meantime I had arrived safely, +picked the whole cluster of flowers, and brought them back in triumph. +Sheffield followed me up, and when we moved on, he dropped in behind; he +acknowledged the path was too narrow for three.</p> + +<p>"On arriving at the foot of the mountain, he leaned up against a big +tree, while the buckboards were being manned. The poor girl seemed to be +very much worried about him; unnecessarily so, I thought. He assured her +that he was not in the least hurt, but he stuck to the tree +nevertheless. There was a bird's nest up in the tree, and I heard Dick +ask Sheffield to climb up and see if there were any eggs in it, to +oblige the ladies. I helped the girl into the backboard and climbed in +beside her. After every one else had got aboard, the last seat, with +Dick, was good enough for Sheffield. I ran the Paradise industry, +without competition, all the way home. There seemed to be a certain +hitch in it, however, for she kept wondering whether Sheffield was hurt. +The bunch of wild flowers dropped out on the way, and Dick and I both +jumped out and chased it; Sheffield didn't even turn around to see what +had fallen. I slapped Dick on the back as we were picking up the flowers +and said: 'She must have an opinion of his manners.' Great Scott! that +was all I knew about it!"</p> + +<p>Here Stoughton went through the hugging pantomime for the fourteenth +time.</p> + +<p>"She didn't seem to be very grateful when I brought those flowers back, +and wouldn't talk much all the way home. She said she was sure Sheffield +was hurt, and all on her account. When we arrived she asked him to +dinner. He stayed in the buckboard and drove to his hotel to dress. She +didn't ask me to dinner, and, by Jove, she left those flowers over which +I had taken so much trouble in the buckboard! I was very grateful to the +flowers, nevertheless."</p> + +<p>"Well, I don't see where the joke on you comes in," said Holworthy, as +Hudson paused.</p> + +<p>"Neither did I," answered Hudson. "I thought, in fact, that I had been +pretty clever about the whole affair, until—until," he went on, +gathering force by the repetition, "<i>until the engagement was +announced</i>! By Jove!" hurling his cigar butt into the fireplace as the +recollection grew on him, "that man and that girl had been engaged all +summer; for a week I had been playing smart Alec and steady number +three, making her hate the sight of me, while the Yale man was +undoubtedly all the time laughing in his sleeve at seeing me make a fool +of myself."</p> + +<p>"Go on," commanded the relentless Stoughton. "Go on, there is an +epilogue,—or do you want me to tell it?"</p> + +<p>"No, I'll do the whole thing," said Hudson, humbly. "When Dick and I +went round to call after the announcement, and congratulate Sheffield, +my little friend Freddy came running into the room. 'Oh, Mr. Hudson,' he +shouted, 'isn't it fun! Now we know why Nell got so mad about my +bothering Joe. Joe's very nice, but really I would rather have had you, +and I told her so.'"</p> + +<p>"That wasn't all he said," remarked Dick, "but I'll let you off the +rest. I'll hold it over you for future occasions."</p> + +<p>When Rattleton returned from New Haven a few days later, he announced at +the table that his friend Sheffield was coming up for Class Day, with +his <i>fiancée</i>. He had sent a special message to Hudson to say that they +were going to bring Freddy, because Freddy was crazy to see Harvard, and +Hudson had promised to show him all over college and take him into all +the clubs.</p> + +<p>"Whew!" whistled Hudson; "d—— that horrid little boy."</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_DAYS_OF_RECKONING" id="THE_DAYS_OF_RECKONING"></a>THE DAYS OF RECKONING.</h2> + + +<p>June, June, beautiful, glowing, fascinating June, no doubt thou art +tired of hearing thy charms sung by lovers more eloquent than I, but +forgive this outburst from one who has known thee in the shades of +Cambridge. Never art thou more seductive than where the old walls and +stately elm trees trace their cool outlines on the turf of the Yard, +where the earnest, eager students, prone on the greensward, blow upon +blades of grass between their thumbs, and bet on sparrow fights and +caterpillar races. The tennis-courts are alive; there are ball games on +Holmes' Field, and the river winding through the green-flowing meadow +(the tide being high and the mud covered) is dotted with swift-gliding +shells. In the long-fading twilight the bright-beflannelled and +straw-behatted groups sit upon the fences, and lounge about the streets, +trying to screw up enough energy to disperse to their rooms, and study +for the—<span class="smcap">Finals</span>.</p> + +<p>Ah, June, that is the one worm i' the bud of thy beauty! It is hard, +indeed, to eschew the racquet and the oar; to go over to the Library at +an early hour and hunt up Story on the <i>Constitution</i>, or Dana's +<i>Wheaton</i>, or Ruskin's <i>Stones</i>; to find it seized, and promised to five +other men before yourself; to seek a retired alcove less hot than the +rest of the drowsy place, and there, taking off your coat, to doze over +a volume until four o'clock, when the reserved books may be taken out; +then to carry a huge book over to your room, and with an awakening +cigar, grind until dinner-time; to go at it again in the evening when +the scent of early summer drifts through the open window, together with +the singing and laughter of some inconsiderate jackass who has finished +his examinations, or does not care whether he gets through them or not. +Hard is all this, but still, oh, June, I would woo thee again in those +shades even in that wise; for, perchance, I might finish my examinations +early and then would I enjoy life to its fullest, and make it miserable +for my less fortunate friends. I would join with those who had also +finished their work, and we would have a grand reaction. We would urge +the others to join us on the river and the tennis-courts; we would sing +in the Yard of evenings, and the free would put their heads out of +window and cry "More! More!!" while the still grinding slaves would cry +"Shut up!" and other things that I should grieve to hear and will not +state; and if haply we sat upon the steps of Matthews or of Holworthy, +or any where within range, these same scurvy slaves would throw pitchers +of water and other things, even eggs kept for the purpose, until we +untrammelled souls betook ourselves elsewhere. Then would we go to the +"pop" concert, or the Howard Athenæum, or other abode of intellectual +rest; and after that we would sup with great mirth. We would found a +recuperating club for weary minds, and as each friend threw off the yoke +and joined us, we would receive him with becoming ceremonies. Oh! the +last week before Class Day is well worth the pains of the other three.</p> + +<p>"What is so rare as a day in June!" carolled Hudson joyfully, as he +danced into his room and thumped Burleigh on the back.</p> + +<p>"One in February," growled that portly gentleman, "there are two less of +'em in the year. Now look here; if you are going to kick up a row +because you are all through, just get out of here, and make your +ill-timed noise somewhere else."</p> + +<p>"Don't be so sour. Hullo, Lazy Jack; these be hard times for you, old +Butterfly. How many more have you got?"</p> + +<p>"Five," sighed Jack. "Pol. Econ. 23, Fine Arts, Freshman English, and +two entrance conditions."</p> + +<p>"Great Scott! The way of the transgressor <i>is</i> hard."</p> + +<p>"Clear out of here," commanded Burleigh. "I am coaching this man +Rattleton, and I don't want any interruption in my private tutoring. Get +out," and Ned hove a dictionary at his exuberant room-mate.</p> + +<p>"Oh, if you are laboring with Jack, I won't interfere with the good work +of the Rattleton Rescue Mission," said Hudson, dodging the dictionary +and taking himself off to irritate some one else.</p> + +<p>Ned Burleigh was never in such a mood about his own examinations. He was +one of the few men for whom those trials had no terrors. None of his +friends could tell exactly when he did work for an examination; it might +have been at 4 <span class="smcap">A.M.</span> on the same morning after a supper; it might have +been on the train during an inter-exam. excursion to Newport, or on a +cat-boat cruise in the harbor. Yet he had never failed. He used to say +that to know too much about a course made the examinations mere +drudgery, but that when there was an uncertainty, then there was some +sport in the struggle, some excitement as to whether you could throw the +paper or the paper would throw you. That was all very well for him, who +generally "ragged a B." and never got "flunked," but it was a dangerous +attempt for most men to follow his example.</p> + +<p>This year, however, Ned was devoting himself to Jack Rattleton. It was a +serious case with Jack, for he had any number of conditions to work off, +so many, in fact, that every one was rather astonished at his attempt to +retrieve his degree, and at the unwonted, desperate efforts of Lazy +Jack. It was a forlorn hope, and the betting was heavily against him. +Under any circumstances Ned Burleigh would have done all he could to +help poor Jack pull through, but, added to his unselfish interest in his +friend, were pride in his pupil and the fact that he had taken some of +the long odds against him. Nor could Jack have found a better coach in +the most high-priced tutor in Cambridge. With a thorough knowledge of +the courses he had taken, Ned combined a knowledge of the presiding +minds in those courses, and, moreover, he understood perfectly the +science of passing an examination.</p> + +<p>"Now, Jack," he said, "you know the important points and main +definitions in that course pretty well. Just remember that all that is +good is Greek, and all that is Greek is good, and no modern work from +the Brooklyn Bridge to a beer mug is worthy of aught save the abhorrence +of cultivated men. If the exam is in Sever, you might throw in an +allusion to the draughts and foul air in that modern pile of bricks. Now +how about Pol. Econ. 23? Let's see, does Jowler give that still? Well, +you are morally certain to have a question on the Tariff of '46—that is +his pet. Be certain that the country has never been more prosperous than +under that tariff. Of course, there was the discovery of gold and other +causes of prosperity at the same time, but unless you know all about +them, and can explain them away, don't touch on them at all. Jowler is a +free trader, bear that in mind. I will do him the justice to say that he +would be delighted if you knew enough about the course and were clever +enough to make any strong points for protection; but you are not, so +don't try it. Stick to plain, first principles, and show that the +country is going to the devil."</p> + +<p>"Gad, Ned," said Rattleton, shaking his head in mournful admiration, "it +is a great thing to have learned so much. I have wasted my advantages +awfully."</p> + +<p>"Constant application, my son," quoth Burleigh, (who for three years had +been on the ragged edge of probation, and had been saved only by his +high marks), "strict attendance on lectures, and careful attention to +the great men under whom it is our privilege to sit. Even if you never +go near the library, you can learn much in the lecture-room. Now I must +leave you; I am going to a seminar over in College House."</p> + +<p>"All right, I have got to leave, too," said Jack, looking at his watch. +"There is a grinding bee in entrance Greek, in Jim de Laye's room—lot +of foolish virgins like myself, who have put off the job until Senior +year, and are doing their school work now. By the way, I promised to +collar a mucker to drive the horse."</p> + +<p>"Get my friend, Mr. James Casey; very intelligent young man; understands +the job thoroughly. You will undoubtedly find him playing duck-on-a-rock +in a vacant lot back of Holyoke, or badgering the Dago fruit-man on the +corner. If you don't find him, drop a package of cigarettes somewhere, +and watch it; you will catch a mucker right away."</p> + +<p>"A better way than that," said Jack, "is to chain Blathers to the iron +railing of the Pudding, and stand behind the door. In five minutes all +the best talent in muckerdom will be there with tin-cans and stones."</p> + +<p>Jack had no need, however, to expose his faithful hound. He found a +covey of muckers, in the vacant lot before mentioned, and on demanding +whether any of them could read, was at once besieged with volunteers to +"drive the pony." "Chimmie" Casey was among them, and Jack secured his +services. "Chimmie" had been at school to some advantage, for he could +read Bohn's translations with great fluency (which is the English of +"driving the pony"), and made many a half dollar by his learning.</p> + +<p>Jack took him round to De Laye's room, where eight or ten men were +already assembled, with books, pipes, and siphons of seltzer, ready for +the services. The mucker was put in the middle of the room with the +"trot"; the students sat around him and followed the translation in +their Greek texts. The following is a short specimen of Prof. Casey's +flowing delivery of the <i>Iliad</i>:</p> + +<p>"Den puttin' on deir shinin' mail, dey moved apart from de great crowd +of admirin' Trojans and well-greased Greeks. Den Jones spake——"</p> + +<p>"What!"</p> + +<p>"I can't say dese hard names. Mr. Burleigh told me to call 'em all Jones +when I got stuck."</p> + +<p>"All right, go ahead."</p> + +<p>"Jones spake wid words of hate. 'Dog-eyed son of—son of—' Gosh! dat's +a hard name to call a feller."</p> + +<p>"Let it go at Jones."</p> + +<p>"'Dog-eyed son of Jones [I must learn dat], now shalt dou meet dy doom. +To him Jones, de god-like son o' Jones—' say, how did dese fellers all +have different names from der faders?"</p> + +<p>"Never mind; go on with the trot."</p> + +<p>"'T'ink not to turn my heart to water wid your vauntin' words' [always +jawin' before dey fight].</p> + +<p>"He spake and t'rew his mighty spear and struck full in de midst of +Jones' buckler round. It pierced eight folds of tough bull-hide and +t'rough de brazen breastplate and cut de linen vest beneat' [dat Jones +was a daisy]. Den Jones, poisin' his mighty spear, prayed to Jove: 'Oh, +fader Jove, wreak now meet punishment on dis offender; send him to de +shades by my arm,'—say, what's he always stoppin' to talk to dat feller +for in de middle of a scrap?"</p> + +<p>"Shut up and go on!"</p> + +<p>"He trew his spear in turn, but de point fell harmless. Den again he +cried aloud: 'Oh, fader Jove, dou art de most unkind'—was Jove de +referee?"</p> + +<p>"Look here, Jamesey, if you don't stop talking we'll dock your pay."</p> + +<p>"Den sure de light had sped from Jones' eyes, but mudder Venus, when she +saw her son hard-pressed, flew to his side. From de field she bore him +far from Jones' wrat', wrapped in a hollow cloud [de h—— she did! +Dat's de silliest fight ever I hear on.]"</p> + +<p>At the end of the "grinding bee" young Mr. Casey was dismissed with +coins, a cigarette, and advice to restrict his annotations in future +lectures.</p> + +<p>Rattleton struggled along in his new mode of life for a week or two +longer, until his last examination a few days before Class Day. Ned had +sent him to bed early on the night before. At breakfast, and on the way +over to University, Nestor gave his final advice.</p> + +<p>"Look your paper over carefully before you begin to write. Write only on +those questions that you can answer, and write a lot on them, so that +you apparently have no time for the others. Don't try to bluff on the +questions that you don't know; some men can do it, but don't you try it. +It rarely goes down with Jowler. Take the whole three hours, and don't +go out early, even if you have written all you know. Now, good luck to +you, old man; go in and win. I'll see you at lunch."</p> + +<p>The paper was very easy. Dick Stoughton had the same course, and +finished his answers early. While waiting a decent time for appearance +sake, before going out, he executed a characteristic stroke. Brown, the +proctor, was a man who prided himself on his sharpness and yearned for +opportunities to show it. He was taking a post-graduate course, and had +been in the University only one year. He had a custom of walking +stealthily about the room, and, in the most offensive manner, peering +over men's shoulders while they wrote. On one of these hunts he sat down +on the corner of Stoughton's desk and looked over the shoulder of the +man in front. Machiavelli Stoughton hastily wrote out, on the back of +the examination paper, the gist of half the answers. This paper he +pinned on the back of the proctor's coat with the legend "Read him and +pass him along." Brown then continued on his tour of inspection, to the +edification of all and the salvation of many.</p> + +<p>Several other men came out early also. They gathered on the steps of +University, and compared notes on the paper. The chief topic of +conversation, however, was Rattleton.</p> + +<p>"I am afraid the jig is up with poor Jack Rat," said one man. "He is +stuck."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I saw him biting his pencil and tearing his hair," corroborated +another.</p> + +<p>"He looked gloomy as a funeral," said Dick; "besides that paper was so +easy that, if he knew anything about the course, he ought to have +finished by this time."</p> + +<p>"He will lose his degree surely unless he gets a squint at Brown's +back," said Gray. "Can't anything more be done for him? Set your crafty +brains at work, Dago Dick."</p> + +<p>"Of course, nothing can be done," said another man. "How are we going to +communicate with him from out here? We might get him in an awful +scrape."</p> + +<p>"Hold on, I've got it!" cried Stoughton, and dashed off across the Yard.</p> + +<p>Half an hour later a man hurriedly entered the drowsy examination room +in University, and went up to the proctor with a telegram. Brown looked +at the address and took it over to Rattleton. Jack was now slumped down +in his seat gazing blankly at a fly in his inkstand, probably wishing to +change places with the fly. The proctor handed him the telegram and +stood near him. Jack opened the envelope, then started and smiled a +little as he read the message. He looked up suddenly and caught the +proctor trying to read the telegram.</p> + +<p>"No bad news I hope, Mr. Rattleton," said the latter, looking at him +narrowly.</p> + +<p>"Oh, no," answered Jack, "best of news." He closed his blue book with a +slam and returned the proctor's gaze squarely.</p> + +<p>"Ahem!" coughed that officer of the Court. "I presume, of course, Mr. +Rattleton, that your message is in no way connected with this +examination?"</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon, Mr. Brown," replied Jack in his deliberate drawl, +"you do not presume anything of the kind. If you did, you would have +better manners than to be so inquisitive about it;—at least I will give +you credit for such. As a matter of fact this telegram contains no +information on the paper."</p> + +<p>"I must insist upon seeing it, sir," exclaimed the red and astounded +proctor.</p> + +<p>Jack rose to his feet. "You heard what I said," he remarked quietly. "I +am not in the habit of being doubted."</p> + +<p>He walked up to the desk at the end of the room, and put his blue book +on the pile of others. "You notice, Mr. Brown, that I have not written a +word since receiving this message. I do not know who sent it, nor +anything about it. Here it is if you would like to read it." He threw +the telegram on the desk and stalked out of the room.</p> + +<p>The group of men on the steps outside crowded around him with eager +inquiries.</p> + +<p>"I don't know," said Jack, "but I guess I got through. I had written +most of the answers half an hour ago, but, of course, I was not fool +enough to go out early, and have the proctor mark the time on my blue +book. That is all very well for you fellows who are sure of your answers +and have good reputations, but I need to exhibit the full three hours of +careful thought. I should have stayed to the end if I hadn't had a tiff +with Brown, the proctor, about a telegram."</p> + +<p>"What!" cried the others. "Dick Stoughton's telegram? What happened?"</p> + +<p>"Nothing much; Brown has it."</p> + +<p>"Nothing much! You are a ruined man! Didn't you see that telegram was a +brilliant idea of Dago Mac's. It had all the answers in it; didn't it, +Dick?"</p> + +<p>Jack looked at Dick, and grinned.</p> + +<p>"Oh, no," said that crafty genius, "that is only what you fellows +thought. I wasn't fool enough to write anything of the kind, when that +Argus Brown was proctor."</p> + +<p>"If he is small enough to look at that telegram after I gave it to him," +said Jack, "what he read was this: 'Get into a row with Brown about this +telegram. He is a cad, and will probably accuse you of lying. Old Jowler +hates that sort of thing, and has no love for the Brown type of proctor. +If he hears of the row, he will count it up in your favor.'"</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="CLASS_DAY" id="CLASS_DAY"></a>CLASS DAY.</h2> + + +<p>The conflict of evidence in the case renders it difficult to decide +whether Class Day is the gayest or the saddest of the college year. +Certain graduates, being duly sworn, depose that it was the happiest day +of their whole lives; an equal number—no, the Court will presume the +better—a somewhat smaller number, refuses to testify at all, until kind +Time has obliterated, or, at any rate, mitigated, important facts in the +case; until, indeed, the memory of man goeth not, or goeth gently, to +the harsh Contrary. Most of the Seniors bear witness as here followeth. +Were too busy to notice their impressions distinctly; remember being +blue at intervals, decidedly so in the evening. Think they felt jolly on +the way to Saunders' Theatre behind the band; know they felt gloomy in +Saunders'. Were worried at their own spreads; believe the strawberries +gave out; had a very fair time at the other fellows' spreads. Got badly +banged around the Tree; can swear they got more flowers off it than +anybody else. Took good care of their families to the best of their +knowledge and belief; took their mothers up to their rooms, when +affected by the heat; did not see their sisters; saw very little of any +other sisters. Enjoyed the singing of the Glee Club until it came to +"College Days are Over" and "Fair Harvard"; began to feel a little out +of sorts then, and grew more so after everybody had gone. Continued in +same frame of mind until the wind-up at the club. How they felt after +that some deponents say not, others testify to being still more +depressed, and going to bed in decided gloom. On the whole, think the +day was a sad one.</p> + +<p>On the other hand, the testimony of the Juniors and under-classmen is +overwhelmingly on the side of joy. So is that of the rank and file of +the army of occupation. The generals, officers of the day, and +provost-marshals of that army testify that it is a day of hard work and +wearing responsibility. For on that day the largest stronghold of +Trouserdom capitulates unconditionally, and from bastion to casemate is +swept by the skirts of the invading battalions. Bright dresses +everywhere dot the grass, and float over floors that for twelve months +have known only the tread of the trousered boot. Some of the clubs even +are surrendered, and only here and there is kept a hiding-place, to +which the overpowered defenders may flee to rally on a cigar, or change +their wilted armor. The garrison is enslaved almost to a man, each one +being attached to the train of some conqueror. During the day the +victors are content with such triumph, and show some clemency while +their officers hold them in check; but when the shades of evening begin +to fall, and the provost-marshals have grown tired, then the slavery is +turned into a massacre. Scenes of carnage are everywhere, and the +helpless captives are put to the fan without mercy. Some are merely +tortured a little, others slaughtered outright, and at the end of the +evening many a scalp goes forth dangling from a slender waist. On the +other hand, however, it is a solace to reflect that some of the invaders +are themselves captured, and paroled for life.</p> + +<p>Dick Stoughton had declared that there was to be no tomfoolery for him. +His people had gone abroad, and he would therefore incur no filial +liabilities. He rarely went anywhere in society, and had no civilities +to repay. He thanked Providence that "not one mother's daughter of 'em +had any mortgage" on him. The only people he invited lived in the far +West, and wouldn't come. It is often said that a man never enjoys his +own Class Day; he would see about that. He called for volunteers in the +good work. None of Ned Burleigh's relatives were coming East, so he +agreed to stand on Dick's right hand and keep the strike with him. +Randolph was also family-free and promised to join in the stand for +liberty. These three organized as the Protective Brotherhood of +Amalgamated Seniors.</p> + +<p>The objects of the Brotherhood were declared to be lunch, liberty, and +the pursuit of happiness. The first rule was to assist each other in +obtaining nourishment and irrigation at the crowded "spreads." They were +to do commissariat duty for no one. The second principle was to stand by +each other through all the perils of the day; if any brother should be +captured the others were to rescue him at once,—three men could resist +better than one. They also arranged a plan of co-operation and mutual +relief, by which any member could talk to any one he chose without fear +of bondage. The strategic moves were as follows. If one of the three saw +some one to whom he wanted to talk, he was to notify the others, who +would stand at his back while he opened fire. A time limit of five +minutes was to be allowed him. Brother Stoughton wanted to cut this down +to two minutes, and Brother Randolph desired ten. The altercation roused +suspicions in Brother Stoughton's mind, and insinuations on his part +against Brother Randolph's sincerity; but Brother Burleigh smoothed over +the incipient breach and compromised on five minutes. At the end of five +minutes the fire was to be slackened, and half of the reserves called up +by saying: "May I present my friend," etc. One of the fresh supports +should then wheel to the front, and while he engaged the enemy, the +other two should go off and find a non-union man,—a happy, +irresponsible Junior, if possible, one of those important, conceited +Juniors, who wear little silver ushers' pins, and think they are running +the whole thing and having a glorious time. The two brethren were to +tell this Junior that a very charming girl had asked particularly to +have him presented. Then they should take him up to where their +companion was holding his ground, throw the Junior into the action, and +under cover of this diversion the three would retreat and leave him to +his fate, pleasant or otherwise, as the case might be.</p> + +<p>Hudson thought the plan an excellent one, but was precluded from joining +by family cares. Holworthy said "nonsense," and also expected to be busy +all day. Gray declared it was all out of keeping with the spirit of the +day, and indignantly refused to have anything to do with it; whereupon +the Amalgamated Brethren called him "scab," and threatened to shadow him +during the evening. Jack Rattleton did not show much interest on either +side, and indeed was not sure that he would stay up for Class Day at +all. There was something the matter with Jack, probably the effects of +his abnormal efforts during the examinations.</p> + +<p>It rains on Class Day every fifth year, and as this was only the third, +the weather was all right on the great morning. The vanguard of the +invaders was first met in Saunders' Theatre, and there held in check and +severely handled for an hour and a half. That was the last resistance +offered, however; after that the bright, victorious masses swarmed +everywhere, and reinforcements kept pouring in over the bridge. The +Protective Brotherhood formed square immediately, and bravely cut its +way through the opening spread at the Hemenway Gymnasium. It moved on +the other spreads with equal success. There was a little friction early +in the day betwixt Brothers Stoughton and Randolph, because the latter +led into action with unnecessary frequency and boldness. He wanted to +talk to some one every fifteen minutes, and the supporting tactics had +to be put in operation too often to suit Dick. Furthermore, Randolph +frequently ran over the time limit.</p> + +<p>In the struggle round the Tree, the "gang" organized itself with great +effect. Little Gray was mounted on Burleigh's shoulders, and with the +others guarding him, tore down flowers enough for all his supporters. +After the Tree, the Brotherhood prudently united again, and towards +evening went cautiously to the Beck Hall spread. They had hardly got on +the grounds before Randolph in an undertone ejaculated the +omnisignificant, "By Jove!"</p> + +<p>"Are you going in again?" demanded Stoughton, impatiently. "You'll tire +us out. We shall do this thing once too often, the first thing you know, +and one of us will get stuck."</p> + +<p>"You fellows needn't bother about relieving me this time," answered +Randolph, graciously, and off he went. He was not seen again during the +evening.</p> + +<p>"That is what I call rank desertion," exclaimed Dick, in disgust. "I +have been afraid all along he'd do that. The beggar uses us all day +until <i>she</i> turns up, then we can shift for ourselves."</p> + +<p>"Treason, treason!" cried Burleigh, "let's follow him up and make it +pleasant for him."</p> + +<p>"No," growled Dick, "let these squires of dames run their heads into the +yoke if they want to. Come on, old man, you and I will stand by each +other, anyway, and live and die free men. Let's strike the grub; that +Tree shindy has made me ravenous."</p> + +<p>But the "grub" was hard to "strike." Pale famine threatened over the +lawn of Beck Hall. There was a surging mass around the table in the +tent, and as fast as a dish was brought in (which was not very fast) it +was snapped up by the foragers with cries of "For a lady, for a lady." +There was little hope for a free patriot guerilla among these enthralled +commissaries of the conquerors.</p> + +<p>"Look here," said Dick, "I notice the dishes are brought out of that +door. The thing for us to do is to trace these waiters up to their +source."</p> + +<p>They followed this Stoughtonian idea, and worked up stream against the +waiters, until they arrived at the fountain of supply in the cellar of +the Hall. The springs were very nearly exhausted, but there was enough +salad to load two plates. A demijohn contained one glassfull of claret +punch. For this they matched, and Dick won it. Then the explorers +returned up-stairs, with their brilliantly won booty. Just as they were +emerging on the lawn, Dick ahead with his plate in one hand and the +glass in the other, they heard an exclamation of "Why, <i>there's</i> Mr. +Stoughton!" A huge frigate was bearing right down upon them, with all +sail set, and four light craft in tow!</p> + +<p>Dick's knees shook together, and with a look of astonished horror, he +groaned, "Good Lord! How did they ever get here?"</p> + +<p>"Quick!" said Burleigh; "give me the punch. For Heaven's sake save that. +You've got to take your hat off. Hang it, man, where are your manners?"</p> + +<p>In his confusion Dick handed his glass to Ned, and bowed. The next +minute the enemy was upon him.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Mr. Stoughton, I'm so glad we've found you. You must be surprised +to see us, aren't you? So good of you to ask us. I didn't expect to get +here, but the girls insisted that they could not miss your Class Day. So +we've come all the way from Omaha. Think of that! You are the only +friend we've met. Oh! where <i>did</i> you get all that salad?"</p> + +<p>"Ah—er—delighted,—er—so glad you could come," murmured Dick. +"Brought the whole family too—this is awfully jolly. By-the-way, let me +present my friend, Mr. Burleigh."</p> + +<p>Dick turned round for his supporter. Edward was gone; so was the punch.</p> + +<p>Ned Burleigh fled round a corner seeking a secluded nook that he had +marked down for emergencies. His intentions were perfectly loyal; he +meant to return and succor his ally after he had safely disposed of the +food and liquid. But he had not gone a dozen steps before he encountered +Steve Hudson with a weary look in his eye. That organ lit up when it +fell on the stout chum and his burden.</p> + +<p>"Oh, Ned! where did you get it? Give it to me."</p> + +<p>"There may be a little more where this came from," answered Ned, +sweetly.</p> + +<p>"Give it to me, Ned. I want it for my mother. My whole family is +starving on my hands."</p> + +<p>"Hum," said Burleigh, suspiciously. "I think I will take it to her +myself. I know this 'for a lady' dodge. If your statement is true, I +want the credit of the sacrifice."</p> + +<p>"Good," exclaimed Hudson, the weary look passing away entirely. "Come +along. My sister has been disappointed at not seeing you all day."</p> + +<p>The sister's alleged disappointment was not relieved, for she was not +with the family at all. Two or three aunts and a pig-tailed cousin were. +While Burleigh was yielding up his hard-earned spoils with a hollow, a +very hollow grace, and receiving thanks, Steve Hudson disappeared, +saying he would be back in a moment.</p> + +<p>The pale, beseeching face of Dick, languishing among five women, rose +before Ned's vision, but this was no time to think of his comrade;—he +had to forage ice-cream for the aunts. Then he had to get some water; +then he had to look for the escaped daughter, an unsuccessful quest. +("It's too bad to trouble you this way, Mr. Burleigh"); then he had to +round up two small boys. ("The boys have no business here, I know, but +they begged so hard to come"); then he had to take the pig-tail round +the Yard; then more water ("Oh, if you <i>could</i> get some Apollinaris"); +Apollinaris; then he had to order the carriage ("Where <i>can</i> Steve be? +We can't go away without saying good-by to the boy, and telling him what +a good time we have had"); then he had to put off the carriage; etc, +etc, etc. And thus fell the last of the Amalgamated Seniors!</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The carriages were beginning to leave. Ernest Gray got his family off +among the first, and then went on a search.</p> + +<p>He looked everywhere, as far as the outlying spread at the Agassiz; but +unsuccessfully. He came to the conclusion that Class Day was about over, +and began to think that it was not so merry as he had always thought it +before. As he strolled back over the Delta, it occurred to him that he +would not cross the old historic battle-ground often again—if at all. +Memorial Hall was brightly illuminated. The light shone through the +stained-glass windows, and showed the array of those who had done their +duty. The window of '61 caught his eye most plainly. On the one half was +a student listening to the trumpet, on the other he was going forth full +armed. Over the Senior's head, the calm face of the Founder looked +through the night into the West,—into the West, where spread the +nation.</p> + +<p>He did not go through the Yard, he walked slowly along behind it. He +heard the sound of music, and between the buildings caught a glimpse of +the enchanted quadrangle, the last bright transformation scene before +the drop of the curtain. He wandered on and beneath a well-known window +looked up, perhaps from force of habit. Then he stopped, for, though the +open window was dark, he thought he saw a form in it. He went up-stairs +and knocked at the door. "Come in," said Jack Rattleton's voice. The +room was unlit, and Jack was sitting in the window-seat with his dog.</p> + +<p>"Hello, old man," said Gray. "I haven't seen you since the Tree. Have +you been up here by yourself all the evening?"</p> + +<p>"Well, you see," drawled Jack. "Blathers was up here all alone, and I +thought I'd sit with him a little while. I can amuse him better than I +can a girl, you know."</p> + +<p>Gray walked over to him, and for a long time the two men of opposite +natures looked silently out of the window together. Below, they could +see the Japanese lanterns, the white dresses, and all the gay +throng—they <i>could</i> see them, but they didn't. They saw, above the +elms, the belfry of Harvard Hall against the clear night sky. They saw +the familiar outlines of the dark roofs and spires. Over all, they saw +the tower of Memorial pointing to the stars. Up from the Yard floated, +distinctly, the measures of the Anthem.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">"Thou then wert our Mother, the nurse of our souls<br /></span> +<span class="i2">We were moulded to manhood by thee,<br /></span> +<span class="i0">Till freighted with treasures, life friendships and hopes,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Thou didst launch us on Destiny's sea."<br /></span> +</div></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="HOW_RIVERS_LUCK_TURNED" id="HOW_RIVERS_LUCK_TURNED"></a>HOW RIVERS' LUCK TURNED.</h2> + + +<h3>I.</h3> + +<p>"Well, it does concern me, because I don't want any love-sick invalids +in that boat." Thus spake the practical William Bender, Esq., Captain of +the H. U. Crew. He had just come into Hollis Holworthy's room and sat +down for a few minutes' private conversation with that gentleman. By a +simple method of his, he had come to the point of the interview in the +opening question, "Look here, Hol, is Charlie Rivers in love?" +Holworthy, somewhat startled, had replied that his chum's affairs were +not his, and intimated that he could not see how they belonged to Bender +either. Hence the above remark.</p> + +<p>"I don't want you to think," he continued, "that I am merely inquisitive +and impertinent; but you see I am responsible for the condition of the +men, and if anything of that sort is going on I ought to know it. Last +year I had one man in the boat who was engaged, and two who wanted to +be, and I never knew anything about it until after the race. Jim Lovell, +who had precious little money himself, was engaged, to a girl without a +cent, and all the spring he was thinking about the price of beef when he +ought to have been watching the man in front of him and improving his +recover. As for Randal and Bowers they had no right to be in the boat. +They were all out of condition, and I don't see now how we won. Even at +New London, just before the race, those two men were moping like a pair +of sick pointers. They were off their feed and so blue that they made +every body else so. I was scared to death, thought they were +over-trained, and laid them off several times though they needed all the +practice they could get. I let them fill themselves up with Bass, nearly +a pint a day. Nothing did any good, and I never knew what to make of it +until last summer when the engagements of both were announced. Bah! no +wonder the starboard side was weak."</p> + +<p>"Well, I have heard you rowing men growl about almost everything," +laughed Holworthy, "but this is a new complaint. So Dan Cupid played the +mischief with the Harvard crew, did he? I shouldn't think the little +winged god would make such a heavy passenger in the boat. Think how much +harder his victims must pull when their fair ladies' eyes are upon them. +Why, it is quite like wearing a silken scarf at a tournament."</p> + +<p>"Wearing grandmother's ducks. That is just all they know about such +things, the chaps who write novels. No amount of ladies' eyes or wearing +apparel ever pulled Sir Launcelot through a mill, if he wasn't properly +trained for it."</p> + +<p>"You have no poetry in your soul, you old monk; your heart is as hard as +your muscles," replied Hollis, smiling. "Wait until you get an arrow +yourself, and see what a spirit it will put in you. Why, you will +conquer anything."</p> + +<p>"That is all nonsense," declared Bender. "Every man on that crew will +pull his best, anyway, don't you be afraid about that; but his best +won't amount to much if he spends all his time worrying about some pink +and white girl. I think I know the symptoms of the disease now, and what +is more I think Charlie Rivers has it. Thank goodness he sticks to his +beef yet, and seems to pull as strong an oar as ever; but there is +something wrong. He used to be the jolliest old cock in college, and +bright and quick as a steel trap. Now he hardly talks at all at the +training table, and when he does make a joke it is usually stupid. +You're his room-mate and best friend, and you must know what is up. Of +course I don't ask you to betray any confidence, and if he has been +spilling over to you, you are quite right in telling me that it is none +of my business. But if you have diagnosed his case for yourself, I wish +you would tell me frankly what you think about it."</p> + +<p>"If Charlie is in love he has never told me so," Holworthy answered +rather evasively. "I do know, however, that he has had a great many +things to depress him. His father died last winter, you remember, and of +course that was enough to make him blue. Then he has very little money, +and is uncertain about getting any sort of a good job when he graduates, +and he is worrying over that. He will probably brace up after a while. I +hope you won't fire him off the crew, for it would break his heart."</p> + +<p>"Well, you know, Holly, it would break mine too," said Bender. "Charlie +has always played in awfully hard luck, and he certainly deserves +another chance to win his oar, and a red one at that; but, of course, I +can't keep him in the boat out of personal friendship and admiration, if +he is not fit to row. I don't think there is any danger of that yet, +however. He is still the prettiest oar I have ever seen, and surely no +one could work more conscientiously."</p> + +<p>"He is a great deal too conscientious. It would do him good to break +training once in a while," asserted Hollis. "You ought to let a man in +his condition smoke, anyway."</p> + +<p>"I don't know about that," objected the Tory oarsman. "I hope you will +do your best to cheer him up, though; and, especially, if you find out +that any girl has got him on a string, talk him out of it and clear his +mind."</p> + +<p>"Oh, thou untamed Hercules," replied Holworthy, laughing at this last +simple request. "I suppose you think you could snap such a string as you +can an oar. When Omphale ties you up in her yarn, you won't find it so +easy to break."</p> + +<p>"Well, I hope old Rivers is not snarled up in any such tackle," said +Bender, as he rose to go. "After all, though, I believe I would rather +have him in the middle of the boat than any other man in the +University,—even if he were in love with twenty girls." And with this +acknowledgment in spite of such Mohammedan possibilities, Billy Bender +went off to the river.</p> + +<p>As Bender had said, Charles Rivers had been "playing in hard luck." +Though a splendid oarsman he had never won a race. In his Freshman year +he had been taken out of his class crew to be a substitute for the +University eight. The next year he rowed No. 4 on the 'Varsity; but Yale +won. He filled the same place all through his Junior year, until a week +before the race, when he sprained his heel and had to sit in the +referee's launch and watch his comrades get their revenge on the Blue. +This year was his last, and he had begun training, even with the new +men, before Christmas.</p> + +<p>Few people realize through what a man must go who tries for a university +crew. Even those who have been to the rowing colleges cannot fully +appreciate it unless they have themselves trained with the big crew, or +been closely associated with some man who has done so. True, it is only +to lead a very regular abstemious life, and to do a good deal of +healthful, though hard work. It may seem easy to do this for seven +months—perhaps it is so for those superior to the little vices that +make life pleasant for us weaker ones. But you, my friend, who like a +good dinner and a cigar, and the merry company of your fellow-men, you +try it,—particularly if you are living in the midst of men who are +enjoying their youth to its utmost. Leave them before ten o'clock and go +to bed just as Tom is preparing to make a Welsh rarebit, and Dick is +brewing a punch, and Harry has got out his banjo. Gaze day after day on +your favorite pipes that look beseechingly at you from the mantel-piece. +Run five miles every day, and row ten or fifteen while the coach and +coxswain take turns at telling you how utterly useless you are; then try +to study all the evening for an examination. Watch your friends starting +off without you on moonlight sleigh rides, and theatre sprees, and +yachting and coaching parties. Go to a dinner and refuse everything +indigestibly tempting that is put under your nose, look on the wine when +it is red and don't drink it, and smell the other men's cigars. For six +or seven months out of the nine of a college year he must do all this +who would be one of the 'Varsity Eight; and at the end of the seven +months he may be appointed substitute, or thrown off altogether for a +better man. No doubt it is quite wrong to consider such a proper mode of +life as a sacrifice; nevertheless it is a great one to most of the young +men who go through it, and particularly to such a one as Rivers. Yet +this sacrifice he had made all through his college course.</p> + +<p>But hard as the training is to a man in the full flush of health and +spirits, it is ten times harder to one who is troubled and depressed. +When in such a condition the incessant and monotonous exercise is apt to +wear on his nerves, and make him more despondent. If used to tobacco he +wofully misses the great comforter. So poor Charlie found it, for in +this, his Senior year, one thing happened after another to grieve and +worry him. In the winter his father died, and Rivers keenly felt the +loss, for his father had been his best friend. Added to his natural +grief was a new feeling of responsibility, as though left to fight a +battle unsupported, his reserves having been destroyed. On his own +account he would not have been troubled by this, but a young sister had +been left to him—and very little else. He would have left college at +once, but it had been his father's earnest wish that he should take his +degree, and there was little chance of finding anything to do before +Commencement. So the little sister was quartered with an aunt, and +Rivers came back to Cambridge, and went to work again with the crew. The +training wore on him more than ever before. He did not miss the fun that +was going on around him, but, oh! how he did long for his pipe. He kept +grimly on, however, more with the determination of the man (trivial +though the object may seem) than with the former enthusiasm of the boy. +Holworthy used to do his best in the evenings to lighten his chum's +mood, and never smoked himself when the latter was with him.</p> + +<p>Besides these troubles, Hollis strongly suspected that there was +another; he had not been altogether frank with Bender on the subject. +One day some one and her mother came on to Boston for a fortnight, and +Rivers at the same time became bluer and more restless than ever. He put +all his pipes out of sight, and would tramp up and down the room, or sit +and look into the fire for an hour at a time. Nevertheless he would go +into Boston nearly every day, and get back only just in time for crew +practice.</p> + +<p>When some one and her mother came out to see Cambridge, a luncheon had +to be given in the room. There was the usual borrowing of furniture, +ruthless clearing up, and upsetting of all established disorder in the +room, all of which Holworthy suffered in silence. He watched his patient +narrowly all through lunch; but when they went out to see the lions, he +no longer had any doubt about the case. For Rivers took Mamma, leaving +Hollis to convoy the younger craft.</p> + +<p>Before the two weeks were up, Rivers did a very foolish thing. He came +to the conclusion that, in any event, hell would be better than +purgatory. That was of course illogical, but a man in purgatory is not +logical. Furthermore when he makes up his mind to jump out of that +middle place, he shuts his eyes and always hopes, with or without +reason, that he will not go the wrong way. If he were in a comfortable +state and could reason at his ease, he might not delude himself with +unfounded hope. Charlie Rivers thought he had argued coolly with +himself. To the prospect of his responsibilities and narrow means, he +answered that he had strength, energy, and education, and that his +little sister needed more than money. To the cold reflection that he had +never been shown the slightest glimpse of anything more than the +dictates of natural gentleness and good manners, he replied that perhaps +it was not right for a girl to show more until a man told her that he +loved her. At any rate he would not trust his untutored perceptions to +tell whether she cared anything for him or not; the only way was to ask +her and find out. If he was afraid to do so he was a coward and did not +deserve her. Then he argued himself into the idea that it was his duty +to tell her squarely how he stood, and give her the opportunity to send +him away if she so pleased and put a stop to attentions that might be +irksome to her. This was all very silly and boyish. If he had known all +about such things, as of course do you and I who read and write about +them, he would have spent that Sunday, on which there was no rowing, in +his room, reading Thackeray, or gone out with Rattleton and Holworthy in +the former's dog-cart, as he was asked to do. Instead of either of these +safe and normal Sabbath amusements, he hurried away from his untasted +lunch at the training-table (making Bender's blood run cold by showing +that he was "off his feed"), spent an hour in dressing, and then went in +to Boston.</p> + +<p>That afternoon as Holworthy and Jack Rattleton were driving through a +suburb of Boston, they saw walking ahead of them a big, familiar form, +towering beside another form of very different proportions. Rattleton +laid the whip over his horse and went by the couple at a pace that +precluded any sign of recognition. Holworthy was as much surprised as +pleased at this thoughtful act on Rattleton's part; and concluded that +he must in some way have guessed that things were serious with Rivers, +and no subject for teasing. Nor did Jack say a word about the pair of +pedestrians, or hint that he had recognized Rivers, which reticence +confirmed Holworthy's conclusion. On this drive Rattleton did not talk a +great deal about anything. He had been quite despondent lately and +unlike himself, probably on account of the uncertainty of his +Commencement, though the dreaded end of Senior year was still a good way +off by Jack's ordinary computation. On two evenings within that past +week had he been found in his room, "grinding" for that degree, when the +examinations were still two months away.</p> + +<p>It was dark when they got back to Cambridge, and went up to Holworthy's +room to sit until dinner-time. There was a dark mass on the couch, and +when they lit the gas they saw Rivers. The young giant was lying on his +chest, his great arms over his head and his face in the cushions.</p> + +<p>"The old boy is over-trained and tired," whispered Rattleton. "I had +better clear out and not waken him," and he left the room.</p> + +<p>Had Jack recognized Rivers that afternoon or not? wondered Holworthy. He +hoped not. He turned the light out again, not knowing exactly why. Then, +after a moment's hesitation, he went up and laid his hand gently on the +shoulder of his prostrate room-mate. Let us not turn the gas up again on +those two. We will go down-stairs instead with Jack Rattleton.</p> + +<p>As he closed the door gently after him Jack gave a little low whistle. +Then he went slowly down-stairs and into the Yard, followed by the dog, +Blathers. "Come along, pup," he said to his constant companion; "let's +go take a walk." He walked a long way and came back to his club table +rather late for dinner.</p> + +<p>Holworthy was late, too. As they were smoking with their coffee, the +other men having gone, Rattleton asked if Rivers was not getting "stale" +from his training.</p> + +<p>"I think so, decidedly," answered Hollis. "I have spoken to Bender about +it, but he is such a conservative old martinet that he won't break any +of the canons of training until he is satisfied that a man is going into +a rapid decline. I know a cigar once in a while would do Charlie more +good than harm, but I can't make the conscientious beggar steal a smoke +without permission from his tyrant. He is blue as indigo."</p> + +<p>"Is he troubled about money matters?" asked Rattleton, hesitatingly +coming now to what he wanted to find out. "Didn't his father leave him +rather hard up? Excuse my asking, but I thought we might help him to +find something to do, don't you know."</p> + +<p>"That is a great deal of the matter with him," answered Holworthy, glad +to see the tack on which Jack was steering. "You needn't apologize for +asking about it. I wish to thunder we could find him a job. He is +worrying all the time about what he is going to do after leaving +college."</p> + +<p>That night Rattleton wrote a letter to his father, who was president of +a big corporation.</p> + +<p>From this time on Rivers seemed to brace up in his mental, and +consequently in his physical condition. This apparent improvement, +however, did not deceive Holworthy, who saw that it was, in a way, +unhealthy. Rivers had kept at his rowing and training patiently and +doggedly before; but he now threw himself into it heart and soul as a +distraction. He dreamed of the coming race night and day. He tried his +best to seem cheerful and encourage the other men, and his plucky +efforts succeeded very well. Bender was delighted, declared there was +nothing like faithful training to keep a man in proper shape, body and +mind, unless he was fool enough to fall in love, and concluded that he +had suspected Rivers unjustly on that score.</p> + +<p>The latter showed every now and then to his chum the intensity, almost +fierceness, that lay under this apparently happy enthusiasm. One day he +said that he must make a success of at least one thing before leaving +college, and if that race were lost he should feel as though he were +going to fail in everything he undertook all through life. Then Mentor +Holworthy opened on him with all his batteries. He told him that he +ought to be ashamed to make such a mere sport the test of his life; he +descanted hotly on the subject of the athletic fever, and laughed +scornfully at the fancied importance of such intercollegiate contests.</p> + +<p>"I suppose," said he, "that Hancock and Adams and Emerson and Longfellow +and all the rest of them will sleep more peacefully in their graves if +we beat Yale, and if we get thrashed no doubt old Dr. Holmes will be +sorry he ever came to Cambridge, and will at once go down to New Haven +to take his entrance examination for the Freshman class there. Haven't +you grown up yet, that you look on these things as a school boy? These +overwrought struggles can do good in just one way, and you seem ready +now to throw away even that advantage. Every time a thoroughbred gets +licked it does him good. You have seen the men on our different teams +get up after a thrashing and go at it as hard as ever the next year; you +have yourself gone through a splendid school of defeat and +disappointment, yet now you talk about lying down for all your lifetime +if you lose a boat-race. It is true you cannot row against Yale again, +but there is a bigger victory than that to be won. Have you for the +first time lost all your heart after a failure? You of all men should +not need to be told that a prize is never lost until won. At any rate +lay up in reserve for yourself the consolation of having done your best. +Charley, Charley, if you throw up the sponge after one knockdown, you +are not the man I have always thought you."</p> + +<p>Rivers listened to all this, with head bent. When Hollis stopped he +raised his face again and said: "I know what you mean, old man, and you +are right. I won't lie down like a cur. I'll pull it through to the +finish, anyway. But in the meantime I must do like a man whatever I have +taken up."</p> + +<p>"Now you are talking like your old self," answered Hollis, "but don't +forget that doing your duty like a gentleman is not confined to rowing a +boat-race."</p> + +<p>After this broadside Rivers went on with his rowing in a better spirit +than he had shown during that year. Before long he was immensely cheered +up also by the promise of a position with a good salary and chance of +advancement, that was to be ready for him right after the boat-race. +Jack Rattleton, through his father, had succeeded in getting this for +him. His absorbing devotion to his rowing fortunately did not prevent +him from getting his degree but he lost a <i>cum laude</i> and had to "take +his A.B. straight," as Burleigh said, "without any green leaves or +nutmeg in it."</p> + +<p>There was another piece of parchment made out for Commencement Day, that +was a surprise to every one. It was marked Johannes Rattleton.</p> + + +<h3>II.</h3> + +<p>Class Day and Commencement were over, and every one was now bound for +New London to attend the post-Commencement carnival that, for the +undergraduate at least, really winds up the college year. The crew had +gone down to their quarters at Gale's Ferry two weeks before; there had +been no Class Day for them. The faithful flocked to the Thames' mouth in +squads and divisions, and by all sorts of methods, some in big yachts, +some in cat-boats, others on coaches, but most by train at special +rates, for the undergraduate is usually not rolling in wealth, +particularly at the end of June. The fresh graduate who has just paid +his Commencement bills is still less apt to do any coaching or yachting +except by invitation.</p> + +<p>Dick Stoughton however had a small sloop, and he and his friends had +decided that the cruise would not "break" them, and at any rate that +they would make it whether it broke them or not. It would be cheaper to +live aboard, they argued very plausibly, than to get swindled by New +London hotel-keepers. They would refrain from betting on the race; then +if Yale won they would be no worse off financially, and if the Crimson +went to the front they would not spend twice their winnings on the spot, +as they would be sure to do if they bet. This was a highly praiseworthy +resolution, and of course the most sensible way of looking at the folly +of betting. Burleigh said it was easy enough to look at anything +sensibly. They would go, then, on Dick's sloop, and they would not bet a +cent. They went on the sloop. The party was made up of Stoughton, +Hudson, Randolph, Burleigh, and Gray. Holworthy did not go; he had taken +a room in New London at the Pequot House, and went there immediately +after Class Day, as he wanted to see all he could of Rivers at the +quarters. Strange to say, Jack Rattleton also refused all persuasion to +join his friends on the cruise. In vain did Ned Burleigh, with tears in +his eyes, assure him that it would be the last and most beautiful "toot" +of his college course. Jack advanced several good but utterly +insufficient and unnatural reasons for "shaking the gang." Ned exhorted +him more in sorrow than in anger.</p> + +<p>"What has got into you lately?" he asked anxiously. "That sheepskin +seems to have ruined you. I actually believe you have reformed, or have +caught a premature aim in life, or some such fatal disease. You were a +great deal better fellow when you were Lazy Jack and didn't amount to a +row of pins; John Rattleton, Esq., A.B., is a bore. You strained +yourself badly for those letters, and are run down in consequence. Hang +it all, Jack, come along, it will do you good."</p> + +<p>But Rattleton did not go along. He hung around Cambridge until the day +before the race, and then joined Hollis at the Pequot House. Capt. +Stoughton's craft had arrived safely, notwithstanding her crew, and was +anchored in the river with the rest of the fleet in front of the hotel, +when Rattleton got there.</p> + +<p>The night before the boat-race at New London is one that bears +recollection better than description. The Pequot House is usually the +centre of ceremonies. Crowds of men are down from Cambridge, and there +are a few of the advance-guard from New Haven, although most of the Yale +men come next morning. Lectures and examinations are behind them, the +long vacation is ahead; it is the last spree of the year, the last +gathering of the four years for the Seniors,—and full justice is +usually done the occasion. Many a grad., too, runs away from his office +to the Connecticut town, or comes ashore there from his yacht, to renew +his youth on the eve of battle and to shout at the struggle on the +morrow.</p> + +<p>Of course on that evening the party from Stoughton's boat were ashore, +and in the thick of it. Ned Burleigh was master of ceremonies, and +organized a band of "cheerful workers." Holworthy, however, kept out of +it. He was thinking of eight men up the river, five or six miles away +from all this roystering, and of one big man in particular, whose whole +soul, like his muscles, was strung up for the next day. He wondered +whether Rivers was getting any sleep, and the anxiety about his best +friend left him little heart to rollick with the others. He was +surprised to find Rattleton in much the same mood, for notwithstanding +the recent change in that young gentleman, it seemed hardly possible +that Jack could sulk in his tent at such a time as this. The two, with +the dog Blathers, walked out together on the piazza.</p> + +<p>As they turned a corner of the veranda they saw sitting in the light of +a window two feminine figures, one of which Holworthy at once +recognized.</p> + +<p>"By Jove!" he thought to himself; "has she come down to see that man +kill himself, or does she really want to see him win?" Then he growled +to Rattleton, "This is a nice place for a girl on this evening, isn't +it?"</p> + +<p>Rattleton had stopped short. "Look here," he said, "you go warn those +Comanches, and keep them in bounds. I am going to talk to her."</p> + +<p>"Why, do you know her?" queried Hollis a little surprised.</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes,—slightly,—well enough to speak to. You go along."</p> + +<p>Holworthy went to the back of the hotel, and Jack towards the two +ladies.</p> + +<p>"Why, how do you do, Mr. Rattleton," said the younger one, as he came up +and bowed. "Let me present you to my aunt, Mrs. West."</p> + +<p>"Are you staying in the hotel?" asked Jack after the opening +salutations. Just at this moment he heard, from the direction of the +billiard-room, the silvery voice of Mr. Edward Burleigh, leading the +cheerful workers in the strains of a hymn. He was greatly relieved when +Mrs. West answered, "No, we are staying in one of the cottages, and came +over here only for dinner. Ethel, my dear, I think we had better go back +now. You will walk over with us, Mr. Rattleton, will you not?"</p> + +<p>"With pleasure," answered Rattleton, truthfully. "Do you mind my dog?" +On the contrary, they thought Blathers a lovely dog, and all four went +over to a quiet cottage at a little distance from the hotel. The veranda +looked out over the beautiful river and was most inviting. It was +apparently not so, however, to Mrs. West; for as she went up the steps, +she said: "I feel a little chilly, and am going in doors, Ethel. You may +stay out here for a little while, if you like." Ethel did like and went +over to a pair of chairs. As she passed through the light of an open +door, Jack caught sight of a bit of blue ribbon pinned on her dress. He +sat down opposite her, and opened the conversation, by remarking, "You +are on the other side of the fence, I see."</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes," she answered. "Don't you know that I have a cousin on the +Yale crew? I am very proud of him."</p> + +<p>"Oh, have you?" said Jack, with an inward groan. "I didn't know it. +Well, I never was a really clever, polite liar, but I am not such a +transparent one as to say that I hope he will win."</p> + +<p>A little rippling laugh followed this confession. "No, you had better +not strain the truth to that extent. I will forgive you for sticking to +your colors and for being so frank about it."</p> + +<p>"It is not only because I am a Harvard man that I want to see our crew +win," Jack went on with a sort of gulp, "it is also because the most +splendid man I ever knew, and one of my best friends, is in the boat. He +has been through an awful mill, and deserves to win if ever a man did."</p> + +<p>"Indeed?" came the question, perfectly uninterestedly. "And who is +that?"</p> + +<p>"A man named Rivers. Do you happen to know him?" Rattleton tried to see +in the moonlight whether or not there was any more color in her cheek; +but he couldn't. Besides, he had enough to do in looking after his own +face. He felt cold all over.</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes, I know him quite well," she answered, quite carelessly. "Nice +fellow."</p> + +<p>"He is more than that, he is a hero," declared Jack. "You can hardly +form any idea of what that chap has been through this year, and the way +he has borne it all is splendid. He has had all sorts of troubles; his +governor died; he was blue about his exchequer; and last, and worst of +all,"—Jack was glad the moonlight was kind to him also, but looked at +his boots, nevertheless,—"I am perfectly certain that he fell in love +with some girl and got a facer."</p> + +<p>"A what?" exclaimed his listener.</p> + +<p>"I beg your pardon—a staggering blow in the face, metaphorical, of +course. I have got so in the habit of using slang, that I fear I am not +fit to talk to a lady. I beg you will forgive me for bringing such +prize-ring language to your ears."</p> + +<p>"It is very expressive, at least," she said. "And did Mr. Rivers tell +you that he had received a facer?"</p> + +<p>"No, no, no," protested Jack, "of course not. I don't <i>know</i> it, I only +suspected it from his actions and condition. I don't even know, of +course, who the girl is. But whoever she may be, she is making a big +mistake. She is throwing away the most magnificent fellow in the world. +If she does not amount to anything," he went on slowly, "I am glad she +doesn't take him, for Charley ought not to be wasted on her. But if she +is the most beautiful, gentle, sweet woman who ever lived, then, by +Jove, such a pair ought to be married. And I am sure she must be just +that, or else, you know, Rivers would not have fallen in love with her. +Don't you think so?"</p> + +<p>Rattleton's hair was rigid at his boldness and impertinence, but his +hair had nothing to do with his speaking apparatus. His heart was taking +charge of that, moving it very slowly and just a little hoarsely.</p> + +<p>"Why, what devout hero worship!" said the girl with a smile. "No, I +don't think anything of the kind. He might have fallen in love with some +one entirely unworthy of him, or, what is more, who did not care for +him. No matter how perfect she might be, you would not have her marry if +she did not love him, would you?"</p> + +<p>"No—o," assented Jack, reluctantly, "but she ought to love him."</p> + +<p>"He must, indeed, be all that you paint him, then," she laughed, "but +love does not necessarily take to paragons, you know. Why do you admire +him so very much?"</p> + +<p>"Because I have known him like a brother for four years," answered Jack, +earnestly. "Oh, if you knew him as well as I do, you would——you +wouldn't think I was exaggerating."</p> + +<p>"What made you think him so desperately in love?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, I don't know. I think it is unmistakable," was Jack's weak reply.</p> + +<p>"Only those can tell who have themselves been in that condition—they +say," came the laughing response.</p> + +<p>Jack's finger-nails went into his palms. "No, no," he stammered, "no,—I +can tell. Oh, you ought to have seen him," he went on, desperately. "The +way he went to work at that rowing after it all, showed his sand. If +they lose to-morrow, I believe his plucky old heart will break right in +two."</p> + +<p>"And is his 'sand,' as you call it, restricted to rowing a boat-race?"</p> + +<p>"No, I didn't mean to imply that. He will go on working to win that girl +in every way he can, I am sure. I only meant that his conduct about his +training, in such a hard time, shows what stuff he has in him."</p> + +<p>"Do you think, then, that winning a boat-race is the best way to win a +wife? Might not Mr. Rivers find some higher field for his qualities? Is +it not a little childish to make an athletic contest the aim of a man's +life? Do you think the only pluck worth admiring is that which goes with +muscle?"</p> + +<p>Jack had heard endless discussions on this subject, and was ready for +these questions, "No," he said in answer to the last one, "I don't think +anything of the kind. Please don't imagine that at Harvard we are +nothing but gladiator worshippers. We admire a plucky athlete, it is +true, but not because he is strong or successful, only because of his +grit and self-denial. Of course we want him to put the Crimson ahead, +but we like him none the less if he fails, provided he has done his best +and done it like a gentleman. We admire the same qualities just as much +when we see them in any other field than that of athletics, but I +suppose we don't recognize them so easily. But in that our little world +is not so different from the big one. Now I am going to ask you some +questions. Has any man during the last seventy years been elected +President of these United States for his greatness, unless he was a +soldier? Has not the general been preferred time and again to the +statesman? Has not the warrior always been dear to the heart of the +people, while other men, who have hammered away all their lives with +longer-winded pluck and perseverance, must content themselves with +secondary honor? The reason of this must be that when a man does his +duty on the battle-field, his merit is more patent to the people than in +the harder and less showy struggle of civil life. Are we youngsters, +then, so very much younger than the old and wise ones who criticise us? +Why, you yourself just now said that you were proud of your cousin +because he was on the Yale crew."</p> + +<p>"Oh, no, I didn't say that," laughed the girl; "I only said that he was +on the Yale crew and I was very proud of him. Why, Mr. Rattleton, what a +sharp pleader you are! I had no idea that your talents lay in that +direction."</p> + +<p>"By Jove! neither had I," exclaimed the ingenuous Jack, really wondering +and somewhat abashed at his unaccustomed volubility. "I am only trying, +you know, to repeat what I have heard other fellows say," he confessed, +apologetically. "I suppose I have got it all mixed up and am talking +like a fool, but please make allowances for me, because I am one, you +know."</p> + +<p>"No you are not at all," she said slowly, to Jack's great relief. "But +don't you think that you rather belittle yourself and your fellows by +being too humble, and comparing yourselves with people who have not had +your advantages? Ought not educated men, men of the same school that has +produced our greatest thinkers and workers, ought they not to discern +between the showy and the solid? Should the manliness of the athlete be +any more patent to them than the higher courage of the student?"</p> + +<p>"I suppose not," admitted Jack, resignedly. "That is just what Holworthy +always says. I tell him he is a prig, but of course he is right, and so +are you. But nevertheless, childish or not, I cannot help admiring such +a man as Charlie Rivers for the qualities he has shown. He has been so +strong and patient and loyal,—oh! such a <i>man</i>. No, even if it is all +wasted as you say, you can never convince me that I ought not to love +him for it."</p> + +<p>There was silence for a moment, and then came the admission very softly. +"No, I don't think I can." Jack's finger-nails went into his palms +again.</p> + +<p>A moment later she arose and said: "Really I ought not to keep my aunt +up any longer. I must say good-night, Mr. Rattleton."</p> + +<p>Jack jumped to his feet. "I beg your pardon for staying so late," he +said. "The time has gone fast. And—er—by-the-way," he continued, a +little awkwardly. "I have done wrong in talking so much about Rivers' +trouble. Of course, I really know nothing about it, and it is none of my +affair, you know, anyway. Please don't think that I am in the habit of +gossiping about other men in this way. I got rather carried away +to-night, I am afraid. I beg you won't say anything about it to any +one."</p> + +<p>"I never make conversation out of such things, Mr. Rattleton," she +answered. "You may depend that I shall not repeat it to a soul. And now +good-night."</p> + +<p>She looked into his eyes with a radiant smile, and held out her hand. +Jack took it as if he were afraid of breaking the little thing, and then +dropped it quickly. "Good-night," he said, shortly, and went down the +steps and over the lawn, followed by Mr. Blathers.</p> + +<p>She stood for a moment and watched him putting great stretches of +moonlit grass behind his long thin legs, the little dark figure trotting +beside him. Then she went in, threw her arms around her aunt's neck, and +kissed her.</p> + +<p>"Has Mr. Rattleton gone?" asked Mrs. West. "He seems like a nice +fellow."</p> + +<p>"Yes, and he is one. When I first met him, I thought him easy enough to +understand, and like every other boy; but I can't quite make him out +now. At any rate he is a species new to me and an interesting one"; and +she ran up-stairs to her room, singing.</p> + +<p>Jack Rattleton strode along the river bank and out to the end of the +Pequot pier. He stood there for a minute, looking over the river and +Sound, then sat down on a bench. That enchantress, the moon, was aided +in her fairy work by the riding lights of the dark fleet of yachts at +anchor, and by the colored sailing lights of the becalmed late comers +drifting in from the Sound. But the lights only hurt his eyes. He had +sat there some time when he heard his name spoken.</p> + +<p>"Beautiful, isn't it," said Holworthy, behind him.</p> + +<p>"Got a weed?" asked Jack.</p> + +<p>"Yes."</p> + +<p>"Give it to me." He bit off the end of the cigar nervously, and lit it +with thick puffs. "Gad!" he muttered, "I'm glad I'm not training for the +crew. How did he ever stand it! But Charlie Rivers is a very different +breed of cats from me."</p> + +<p>Holworthy looked on a moment in silence, and tried to pull an idea out +of his moustache.</p> + +<p>"What is the matter with you, Jack?" he asked, gently.</p> + +<p>"Nothing—only that I am such a poor sort of a thing. No ambition, no +backbone, no sand. Just a worthless, dissipated loafer. Let's go lush up +with the rest of the crowd,—that is all I'm good for."</p> + +<p>"Don't talk like a fool," replied Hollis, by way of comfort.</p> + +<p>"A disgrace to the University. Haven't you always told me the same +thing?" asked Jack, with a ghastly grin.</p> + +<p>"That is no reason why you should think so yourself and get so blue +about it. I never thought you would ever take it to heart so. You know I +never meant half that I said. I used to lay it on thick in hopes that a +little would soak in."</p> + +<p>"I wish it had all soaked in long ago," answered Jack, ruefully. "Don't +take any of it back, old man; you haven't soured me. Come along, let's +go back to the old gang. You are all a very bad lot and don't properly +appreciate my faults; even you, you old prig. Come along, Blathers."</p> + +<p>He tucked his arm through Holworthy's and they went back to the hotel, +Hollis musing much.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, in the billiard-room the good work was going on to Ned +Burleigh's deepest gratification. He himself, mounted on the pool-table, +was beating time with a broken cue for a choir of sweet singers. They +had cheered each member of the crew and the coxswain, declaring in the +time-honored measures that each was a jolly good fellow, and intimating +the mendacity of any one who might deny the fact. Grateful for his +degree, and being in a broad and liberal frame of mind, Burleigh had +also proposed each member of the Faculty of Harvard College for similar +honors, prefacing each nomination with a few well-chosen remarks.</p> + +<p>"And now, dearly beloved brethren," said he, "omitting the next +fifty-three stanzas, let us all unite in singing the one hundred and +forty-fifth; and as I look upon your happy, up-turned faces, I cannot +help being touched by the spirit of those beautiful lines. All sing!"</p> + +<p>The earnest chorus roared, with cheerful zeal, the one hundred and +forty-fifth verse, as exhorted.</p> + +<p>"What ho!" shouted the Lord of Misrule, "What is yon tall form i' the +doorway. Is it the melancholy Jacques, forsooth? Or is it our long-lost +wandering Brother Rattleton returning to the fold? Pull off his coat, +somebody, and look for strawberry-marks. Joy, joy, mark his old time +smile! Throw him up here. Once more now, all sing, 'For he's a jolly +good fellow!'"</p> + + +<h3>III.</h3> + +<p>The day was beautiful and the water perfect, a most unusual combination +for the 'Varsity race day. All the steam yachts had gone up the river, +and most of the others towed up also and anchored along the course near +the finish. It would be waste of time to try to describe the picture of +the great annual event of oardom, a picture that is done every year in +the sumptuous paints of the press, with the sky and the river and the +yachts and the crowds, and above all the two colors everywhere. It is +painted every year, but no one can appreciate it who has not seen the +original. It is not for this spectacle, however, that all these +tremendous crowds gather; it is to see two long thin yellow streaks, +each surmounted by nine bodies, eight of which swing back and forth in a +most monotonous, uninteresting manner. That is all that the race looks +like to most of the spectators—then why do they go to see it? Because +they know that those sixteen men are going through about the hardest +physical strain that men can bear. To the layman there is in tennis and +base-ball four times the skill and pretty playing that there is in +foot-ball, and in rowing there is none at all. Yet a tennis match +excites the least interest of all college sports, base-ball comes next +in the rising scale, and both of these combined do not rouse a quarter +of the enthusiasm provoked by a foot-ball game. But at the head and +front of all athletic contests is rowing—because it hurts the most. +Foot-ball, it is true, requires a dashing courage and disregard of +breaks and bruises (though "dashing courage" and all that sort of thing +never occurs to the struggling youngsters), but there is always the +great relief of frequent short rests during the game; in a four-mile +boat-race there is no let-up. The half-back makes his rush and plunge, +is slammed on the hard ground and buried under hard muscle, is picked +up, rubbed a little, and with the cheers of the crowd in his ears again +goes at the line, head first, as hard as ever. But for the oarsman there +is only the incessant pull, pull, pull, with the bees in his brain and +the growing hole in his stomach, the aching legs and leaden arms, and +before him, growing dimmer and dimmer, the bare back that will never +stop rising and falling, and that he must follow, it seems, to death. +Oh! it does hurt, and that is why the great crowd goes to see it and +goes wild. Yes, fair and gentle one, that is just why even you go to the +Thames as your predecessor went to the Colosseum. There is this vast +difference, however, between you and Octavia—the Roman Vestal looked at +hired gladiators, and prisoners who were forced to hurt each other, +whereas you go to see Tom, and Jack, and dear Mary's brother Mr. Brown, +hurt themselves; and, God bless you, I hope you always will. So long as +you do, this republic will never fail from the effeminacy of its young +men.</p> + +<p>The "gang" had got seats in the same car on the observation-train and +were waiting for it to start.</p> + +<p>"What were you doing with that Yale man just now?" Hudson demanded of +Randolph, as the latter joined the group on the platform.</p> + +<p>"That was an old schoolmate of mine," answered Randolph, evasively.</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes; and I suppose you were talking over your happy childhood days, +with a bunch of bills in your fist. Fie! Johnny, you have been betting."</p> + +<p>"You needn't put on airs. You were the first backslider of the lot," +answered Randolph.</p> + +<p>"I haven't put up a cent," protested Hudson.</p> + +<p>"No, because you met a man who knew you and bet on tick. I heard you."</p> + +<p>"A man who <i>didn't</i> know him, you mean," corrected Burleigh. "You are +all a set of weak, reprehensible young men. I am ashamed of you. I +depend upon you, at least, Hollis, my son, not to indulge in this wicked +vice of betting."</p> + +<p>"Yes," laughed Holworthy, "there must be some one left to float you +home, if we lose."</p> + +<p>"Now you mention it," Ned suggested, "perhaps you had better lend me an +X now, in case we should get separated after the race. I want to prevent +the spread of this athletic fever and the evils that follow in its +train. I am afraid my governor may become too enthusiastic. If I go home +to him again C. O. D. he will begin to take a real interest in seeing +Harvard win, and I fear even a pecuniary one."</p> + +<p>"This betting is indeed a deplorable evil," said Stoughton, solemnly, +"in off years. Listen to me, my children. Two years ago I, even I, who +now stand before you, was a reckless, ungodly Sophomore. I went——"</p> + +<p>Just then the whistle blew, and Stoughton jumped for the car to get a +front seat before the rest of the crowd. The long observation-train, a +peculiar feature of the New London race, moved slowly out from the +station on its way to the starting-point, four miles up the river. Then +the cheering began, one car taking it up after another, the sharp quick +cheers of the Yale men mingling with the slower full-mouthed +three-times-three of Harvard. Every one is always in great spirits +before the race begins,—it is different afterwards. They chaffed each +other, and shouted, and laughed, and the enthusiastic choruses of +"Here's to good old Yale, drink her down," were answered with the +stirring, swelling cadences of "Fair Harvard."</p> + +<p>When they got to the starting-point, of course the crews were not yet +there. Across the river, however, at Red Top, the H. U. B. C. quarters, +tall forms were seen entering the boat-house.</p> + +<p>"Oh, how I wish I were like those chaps," sighed little Gray, who was +already beginning to tremble with excitement. "What wouldn't I give to +be able to pull an oar to-day."</p> + +<p>"I have thought of it myself," said Burleigh; "but they wouldn't build +the boat to suit my figure."</p> + +<p>"The only thing I could do for the glory of Harvard was to try for +coxswain," went on Gray, ruefully, "and they wouldn't have me."</p> + +<p>"Was that the best you could do for Alma Mater?" said Holworthy. "What a +pity you couldn't succeed in putting such laurels on her brow!"</p> + +<p>"There, Gray, take that," chuckled Stoughton; "that is the time Pegasus +fell down and got his neck stepped on."</p> + +<p>"Aren't you ashamed of yourself, you hot-headed little poet," put in +Hudson, gravely. "How can you speak so thoughtlessly, even when sitting +right beside Holworthy, the Superb? Can you, a member of the Oldest and +Greatest take such a childish interest in a paltry boat-race?"</p> + +<p>"You are forgetting all about the atmosphere, and the traditions, and +all that sort of game," added Randolph. "What difference does it make to +us whether we win or lose? Remember the true glories and blessings of +our ancient University."</p> + +<p>"For instance," drawled Rattleton, "whether we want to celebrate or +console ourselves, we have all the royal crimson juices with which to do +it, whereas those poor Elis can't find a blue drink to save their +souls."</p> + +<p>"Jove! I never thought of that. Glad I didn't go to Yale, aren't you, +Gray?" exclaimed Stoughton.</p> + +<p>"I don't believe the color of their booze troubles them much, as long as +we pay for it," reasoned Burleigh. "Still, that is the proper spirit and +the right way to look at these comparative collegiate advantages. Isn't +it, Gray?"</p> + +<p>"If you chaps think you can get a rise out of me," answered Gray to all +this, "you are mistaken; but for your own sakes you had better not try +to be so funny in public. As for you, Hol, there is no use at all in +your trying to play the lofty indifferent. You are as much excited as +any man; you look as if you were going to row the whole thing yourself. +I have been watching you biting your knuckles and clenching your fist +and staring over at——"</p> + +<p>He was interrupted by a great shout, and everybody jumped to his feet. +Out of the boat-house opposite, came the long shell borne by the Crimson +eight. As they put it in the water another shout went up, and a volley +of cheers, for at that moment the Yale crew shot round the point from +Gale's Ferry, with a beautiful snap and dash, and "let her run" in front +of the train. They were not kept waiting long for the Cambridge men got +quickly into their boat and came swinging across, showing but one +crimson back until they turned. There was perfect precision and splendid +power in their sweep. There were five men in the boat who had never +pulled an oar in the four-mile race, but they were all good ones. Four +had rowed on their class crews; the fifth, though a Freshman, had taken +hold wonderfully, had a magnificent physique, and had come up with a +good reputation from St. Paul's. And there was Dane Austin, L.S., at +stroke, the hero of four 'Varsity races, and behind him at 7, old Billy +Bender, the iron captain who, with all luck against him, had made a +winning crew before, and certainly must have done so this year with such +material. These two could surely "hit up" the stroke indefinitely, and +in the middle of the boat towered Charlie Rivers, looking as if he could +do all his own share and that of the three men behind him, if need might +be.</p> + +<p>Now both crews backed up to the starting boats, and off came the +jerseys. They were right opposite the car. "Attention!" "Ready!" Rivers +leaned forward and buried his blade alongside of Yale for his last +chance. He had never won. Holworthy, bent almost double, gripping his +chin in his hand, watched that statue. He could see no expression +whatever in the sunburned profile and the motionless eye fixed on the +neck before it. He wondered,—"Row!" He saw the oar bend so that his +heart stopped for a moment in the fear that the spruce would break. A +mingled roar that sounded like "<span class="smcap">Yayavard!</span>" then silence so that he could +hear the clear, cool tones of Varnum, the coxswain. He saw the mighty +shoulders heave back, and swing forward again in one motion, the arms +rigid as steel pistons. Again, with not a movement of the arms. "Row!" A +third time, and this time the great muscle leaped up and the arm was +bent until the oar butt touched the chest, then shot out again like a +flash, "Row! That's good; steady, now hold it." The roar burst out +again, and this time it sounded clear enough. <span class="smcap">Har—ar—vard!</span> Holworthy +took his eyes from his chum and looked at the whole picture. The little +red coxswain was even with No. 3 in the Yale boat! It had been a perfect +racing start; those three tremendous lightning strokes had shot the +Harvard eight nearly half a length ahead of their rivals. There was no +question as to which were the stronger men, but strength is the least +thing of all that wins a boat-race. After this first leap the Yale crew +hung right where it was, and would not fall clear of the Crimson oars. +At the mile flag Harvard had not increased her lead perceptibly.</p> + +<p>"That's all right; they'll spurt in a minute," shouted Randolph. So they +did and gained a little, at least so it seemed to the Crimson wearers.</p> + +<p>The shells were far out in the stream now, and how slowly those two +centipedes were crawling! The two eights, that had dashed away from the +starting-point (which is close to the bank), now seem to swing back and +forth with aggravating deliberation.</p> + +<p>"There! There! now Yale's coming up!" "Not much, sir, look at that!" +Since the start that was the best struggle so far,—just before the +Navy-yard, and there was no question that this time Harvard had gained. +At the end of two miles she had a good length.</p> + +<p>Again the Yale men spurt; gaining? no, but holding,—yes +gaining,—there! Of course the train has gone behind the island just at +the most exciting point. Everybody leans back and tries to take a long +breath. For a minute nothing is heard but the chug, chug, chug of the +train. Hark! the front cars are out, listen! But that spontaneous +indefinite yell may come from the lungs of either, or both sides. "Yale! +<i>Yale!</i> <span class="smcap">Yale!</span>" the two crews are even! Bow and bow to the two and a half +mile flag, and the stroke is high now. But high as it is Dane Austin is +sending it higher, for Bender behind him knows the vital importance of +leading at the three-mile flag, and has probably grunted "hit her up." +Slowly the Harvard shell pokes ahead, a yard, two, a quarter of a +length, "Harvard! Harvard! Harvard!" The Crimson coxswain shows in the +middle of the Yale crew. "Can they hold it?" "Yale is spurting like fury +too." "No, the red coxswain is dropping back." "They are even again." +"No, by Jove! Yale is ahead!" "<span class="smcap">Ya-a-l-e!</span>" Two miles and three quarters +and Yale is ahead for the first time. Another desperate spurt and the +Harvard bow comes up even again, but holds there less than a minute, and +another beautiful effort of the Yale crew sends their boat farther ahead +than before. The Cambridge men are not rowing as they were; they are +ragged; can they be weakening? There is a break somewhere; seems to be +in the middle. The Blue coxswain is going ahead fast now. Yes, there is +a decided break right in the middle of the Harvard crew. "Hullo! no +wonder! somebody is gone!" "What?" "No! Oh, d—— it all, no, not No. +4?" "Man alive, you don't know who No. 4 is." "Can't be!" "Yes, but it +is though." "Rivers, by——Charlie Rivers!"</p> + +<p>It was. Swaying irregularly, he was throwing himself back and forward +all out of time.</p> + +<p>"He is a passenger!" exclaimed a Yale man in the car. "It has been a +fine race, but it will be a procession now. Those big men are no use in +a boat."</p> + +<p>"Hold on, my friend, look at that! If he <i>is</i> a passenger he is working +his passage pretty hard still."</p> + +<p>He did seem to gather himself for a moment, probably in response to a +yell from the coxswain, and for a second the glimpse of open water +between the boats was shut out by a Harvard spurt. It was no use. Yale +drew away again faster than ever. Rivers was growing worse and worse. +His head was loosening, but not falling yet; it was <i>snapping</i> back at +the end of each stroke, a fault that showed he was still pulling hard, +though all out of form and time.</p> + +<p>Hollis Holworthy had not moved from his first position since the +beginning of the race. He had taken no part in, and paid no attention to +the exclamations, shouts, and cheers around him. He had grown paler, +that was all. Only now he muttered to himself, "He is too old an oar to +pull himself out in the first two miles."</p> + +<p>Jack Rattleton sat beside him. "He is doing it deliberately, Hol," he +said softly, with a quivering lip.</p> + +<p>"I don't believe it, Jack. You do him injustice. He has more grit and +patience than that, and if he had not, he would not sacrifice the rest +of the crew and the Crimson to his own madness. No, I can't make it out, +but I don't believe that."</p> + +<p>At the three and a quarter mile flag the New Haven men had a fast +increasing stretch of clear water behind them and were going easily. How +prettily they did row! A winning crew with a safe lead always does.</p> + +<p>And now began that most pathetic spectacle, the finish of a beaten +eight-oared crew. Yet there was not one of their friends looking on who +would not have given anything to have been pulling with them then. Where +was that faultless form, that clock-like time, that glorious sweep, that +at the start had raised an exultant shout from every breast that bore +the Crimson? Much of the mighty strength was still there, but pitifully +divided against itself, and therefore fast waning. The new men were, +every one of them, "rowing out of the boat," that is to say, swinging in +a circular motion around the ends of their oars, in their desperate +efforts to pull their hardest. The temptation to do this is generally +irresistible to a green man when behind. It seems to him as if he can +pull harder in this way, and indeed it looks so to the unknowing +observer. Time and form are thrown overboard in the wild struggle to row +his heart out. Only the two old veterans at 7 and 8 were still swinging +over the keel, not a hair's breadth to starboard or port, coming forward +steadily and back with a simultaneous heave; their backs straight, their +chins in, two parallel unbroken lines from hip to crown; their oars +taking the water cleanly and together, pulled clear through, and +flashing back at once with a perfect feather. So evenly and smoothly did +they row that, to the untaught eye on the distant train, they might have +seemed to be shirking; but to those on the yacht decks along the course, +the spread nostrils, clenched jaws, and swollen veins told a very +different story. An old Yale stroke, when his hat came down on deck +again after the Yale crew had passed, let it lie where it fell as he +gazed at the struggling tail-enders, and exclaimed, "Look at those two +men in the stern. By gracious, isn't that grand!" And Rivers, the third +of the old guard, Rivers, who had been relied upon to brace the waist of +the boat, who had before rowed that terrible fourth mile in a losing +race and rowed it well; how was he finishing? Not an ounce of strength +in his blade. He was still throwing his body to and fro with the others +or nearly so, his head falling forward and back as he did so, and his +oar moved; but that was all. He was now being carried over the line by +the crew he had ruined. He alone was doing nothing; the others, though +ragged, were still pulling desperately, using up the very last of their +failing strength.</p> + +<p>Through the buzzing in their ears they can faintly hear the guns, the +whistles, and the roar of the crowd. Not for them, not for them. What +difference does that make? They may win, or at any rate they can lose +like men. They may win, they may win. "Let her run."</p> + +<p>Over the water from all sides come the cheers and shouts of "Yale, Yale, +Yale." Leave them, reader, if you so choose, they are beaten men; go and +rejoice with the victors who have rowed a splendid race and well deserve +your congratulations. I always take a certain morbid interest myself in +the nine heartbroken men who are quietly carried away in their launch as +soon as possible after a race.</p> + +<p>All over and lost in twenty minutes, the work and self-denial of seven +months! The big Freshman has dropped his head on his knees and is +sobbing like a baby; of course it must be all his fault. Bill Bender is +still grimly gripping his oar and looking straight before him; that back +is bent now, but the jaw is still set, the eyes flashing, and through +his teeth he registers a vow to come back to the Law School and get at +'em again. Varnum, the coxswain, is as pale as the rest; he has rowed +every stroke of that race without the savage comfort of the physical +torture; he has seen what the others could not—the Blue coxswain going +farther and farther ahead, and he powerless to help his straining men. +They all hold on to something or clasp their knees tightly—to faint or +fall over would be a grand-stand play.</p> + +<p>Nevertheless that was what Charles Rivers did. He swayed for a moment, +grasped blindly at the side of the shell, and fell back unconscious in +the lap of the man behind him. And then, for the first time, No. 3 saw +that the bottom of the boat was red with blood. <i>Rivers had broken his +sliding-seat before the two mile flag was reached, and had rowed the +last half of the race sliding back and forth on the sharp steel tracks +that cut into him at every stroke.</i><a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p> + +<p>Before the observation-train had fairly stopped Holworthy leaped from it +and dashed for the river bank followed by Rattleton. As they passed one +of the cars they both recognized a girl with a blue flag. Holworthy said +something that Jack did not hear; the former did not notice that the +girl's face was deadly pale and the blue flag motionless in her hand, +but the latter did.</p> + +<p>"There is no use in our following them," said Burleigh. "They won't be +allowed to talk to the crew even if they get out to the float." Therein +he was quite right; before the two could get a boat to go out to the +Harvard float at the finish, they saw the men helped out of the shell +and onto the University launch. They saw Rivers carried aboard. Then the +launch steamed quickly up the river, towing the empty shell.</p> + +<p>"Hullo, there is my uncle's boat," exclaimed Rattleton, pointing to a +big schooner. "I am going aboard her. You go back to New London and get +a trap, and I'll meet you at the ferry."</p> + +<p>Holworthy ran back towards the town. On the way he met the others, who +stopped him to hear what was up.</p> + +<p>"I don't know," he replied. "He is completely gone. I am going up to the +quarters. You fellows mustn't come. They won't allow a crowd there."</p> + +<p>"Where is Jack?"</p> + +<p>"Gone aboard his uncle's yacht. Rather think he has gone to ask for an +invitation for Charlie. Hope so."</p> + +<p>"Isn't there anything we can do?"</p> + +<p>"Not a thing. Don't try to see him, please; you probably won't have a +chance to, anyway."</p> + +<p>"You won't dine with us then?"</p> + +<p>"Can't possibly."</p> + +<p>"Well then, good-bye, old man. We'll all come back together next year +and see them win."</p> + +<p>"Good-bye. Write to a fellow once in a while and let me know how you are +all getting on in the world."</p> + +<p>"Good-bye." "Good-bye." "Good luck to you." "Thank heaven we have all +been at Harvard anyway." This last for the benefit of a knot of radiant +men who pushed by, with violets in their button-holes, and who looked +back and laughed good-naturedly.</p> + +<p>So "the gang" separated, and so separate constantly, after this battle, +not knowing when they will ever meet again, men who have lived together +four years and have become the closest friends that live.</p> + +<p>Half an hour later Holworthy and Rattleton in a buggy were on their way +to Red Top. All sorts of rumors had already spread about No. 4 in the +Harvard boat, and they were really relieved to find, on arriving at the +quarters, that Rivers was nowhere near death's door, not even +permanently injured. But the great, stalwart, glorious man was weak and +limp as an invalid girl. As soon as possible they got him away from the +gloomy group at the quarters, and took him aboard the cruiser of +Rattleton's uncle for perfect rest and sparkling blue water.</p> + +<p>There they kept him prisoner for two weeks, though before he had fairly +got back his strength, he began chafing to get to work. When at last +they let him go, he buckled down to his desk, as he had to his oar, and +kept at it until, at the end of the summer, a short vacation was forced +on him.</p> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<p>The following cablegram, received by "Herr Holz Holvordy," at St. +Moritz, explains itself:</p> + +<blockquote><p><span class="smcap">Newport</span>, Sept. 5.</p> + +<p>She is mine. Hurrah. Be my best man.</p> + +<p><span class="smcap">Rivers.</span></p></blockquote> + +<p>At the wedding every one remarked what a handsome couple they were, and +how well suited to each other. Holworthy of course was best man. The +ushers were Messrs. Bender, Burleigh, Gray, Hudson, Randolph, and +Stoughton. Jack Rattleton happened to be abroad at the time.</p> + + + +<h3>THE END.</h3> + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> This farce is printed by the kind permission of the Hasty +Pudding Club for which it was originally written.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> There is no fiction about this. It was done by a Harvard +oarsman.</p></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_NEWEST_FICTION" id="THE_NEWEST_FICTION"></a>THE NEWEST FICTION.</h2> + + +<h3>DR. IZARD.</h3> + +<p>By <span class="smcap">Anna Katharine Green</span>, author of "The Leavenworth Case," "The Doctor, +His Wife, and the Clock," etc., etc. With frontispiece.</p> + +<h3>MASTER WILBERFORCE.</h3> + +<p>The Study of a boy. By "<span class="smcap">Rita</span>," author of "A Gender in Satin," etc.</p> + +<h3>SENTIMENTAL STUDIES and a Set of Village Tales.</h3> + +<p>By <span class="smcap">Hubert Crackanthorpe</span>, author of "Wreckage."</p> + +<h3>CAUSE AND EFFECT.</h3> + +<p>By <span class="smcap">Ellinor Meirion</span>. Uniform with "A Literary Courtship."</p> + +<h3>GOD FORSAKEN.</h3> + +<p>A novel by <span class="smcap">Frederic Breton</span>, author of "A Heroine in Homespun," etc.</p> + +<h3>CHERRYFIELD HALL.</h3> + +<p>An episode in the career of an adventuress. By <span class="smcap">Frederic Henry Balfour</span> +(<span class="smcap">Ross George Dering</span>), author of "Dr. Mirabel's Theory," "Giraldi," etc., +etc.</p> + +<h3>THE HONOUR OF THE FLAG.</h3> + +<p>By <span class="smcap">W. Clark Russell</span>, author of "The Wreck of the Grosvenor," etc. No. 4 +in the Autonym Library.</p> + +<h3>THE HEART OF LIFE.</h3> + +<p>By <span class="smcap">W. H. Mallock</span>, author of "A Romance of the Nineteenth Century," etc., +etc.</p> + +<h3>ELIZABETH'S PRETENDERS.</h3> + +<p>By <span class="smcap">Hamilton Aïdé</span>, author of "Poet and Peer," etc.</p> + +<h3>WATER TRAMPS or the Cruise of "The Sea Bird."</h3> + +<p>By <span class="smcap">George Herbert Bartlett</span>. Uniform with "A Literary Courtship." +Frontispiece.</p> + +<h3>YALE YARNS.</h3> + +<p>By <span class="smcap">John Seymour Wood</span>. Uniform with "Harvard Stories." Illustrated.</p> + +<h3>AN ISLAND PRINCESS.</h3> + +<p>A Story of Six Weeks and Afterwards. By <span class="smcap">Theodore Gift</span>, author of "Pretty +Miss Bellew Dishonored," etc.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 45%;" /> +<h2>BY ANNA KATHARINE GREEN</h2> + + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">THE LEAVENWORTH CASE. <span class="smcap">A Lawyer's Story</span>.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES. <span class="smcap">A Story of New York Life.</span><br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">CYNTHIA WAKEHAM'S MONEY. With Frontispiece.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">X. Y. Z.; A Detective Story.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">HAND AND RING.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">A STRANGE DISAPPEARANCE.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">THE MILL MYSTERY.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">THE OLD STONE HOUSE, AND OTHER STORIES.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">7 to 12. A Detective Story.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">MARKED "PERSONAL."<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">MISS HURD; An Enigma.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">THE DOCTOR, HIS WIFE, AND THE CLOCK.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">DR. IZARD. With Frontispiece.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">THE DEFENCE OF THE BRIDE, AND OTHER POEMS.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span class="i0">RISIFI'S DAUGHTER. A DRAMA.<br /></span> +</div></div> + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's Harvard Stories, by Waldron Kintzing Post + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARVARD STORIES *** + +***** This file should be named 34857-h.htm or 34857-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/4/8/5/34857/ + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Mary Meehan and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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