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C., by George Bernard Shaw + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: O'Flaherty V. C. + +Author: George Bernard Shaw + +Release Date: February 15, 2009 [EBook #3484] +Last Updated: December 10, 2012 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK O'FLAHERTY V. C. *** + + + + +Produced by Eve Sobol, and David Widger + + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + O'FLAHERTY V.C.: + </h1> + <h2> + A RECRUITING PAMPHLET + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By George Bernard Shaw + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + It may surprise some people to learn that in 1915 this little play was a + recruiting poster in disguise. The British officer seldom likes Irish + soldiers; but he always tries to have a certain proportion of them in his + battalion, because, partly from a want of common sense which leads them to + value their lives less than Englishmen do [lives are really less worth + living in a poor country], and partly because even the most cowardly + Irishman feels obliged to outdo an Englishman in bravery if possible, and + at least to set a perilous pace for him, Irish soldiers give impetus to + those military operations which require for their spirited execution more + devilment than prudence. + </p> + <p> + Unfortunately, Irish recruiting was badly bungled in 1915. The Irish were + for the most part Roman Catholics and loyal Irishmen, which means that + from the English point of view they were heretics and rebels. But they + were willing enough to go soldiering on the side of France and see the + world outside Ireland, which is a dull place to live in. It was quite easy + to enlist them by approaching them from their own point of view. But the + War Office insisted on approaching them from the point of view of Dublin + Castle. They were discouraged and repulsed by refusals to give commissions + to Roman Catholic officers, or to allow distinct Irish units to be formed. + To attract them, the walls were covered with placards headed REMEMBER + BELGIUM. The folly of asking an Irishman to remember anything when you + want him to fight for England was apparent to everyone outside the Castle: + FORGET AND FORGIVE would have been more to the point. Remembering Belgium + and its broken treaty led Irishmen to remember Limerick and its broken + treaty; and the recruiting ended in a rebellion, in suppressing which the + British artillery quite unnecessarily reduced the centre of Dublin to + ruins, and the British commanders killed their leading prisoners of war in + cold blood morning after morning with an effect of long-drawn-out + ferocity. Really it was only the usual childish petulance in which John + Bull does things in a week that disgrace him for a century, though he soon + recovers his good humor, and cannot understand why the survivors of his + wrath do not feel as jolly with him as he does with them. On the + smouldering ruins of Dublin the appeals to remember Louvain were presently + supplemented by a fresh appeal. IRISHMEN, DO YOU WISH TO HAVE THE HORRORS + OF WAR BROUGHT TO YOUR OWN HEARTHS AND HOMES? Dublin laughed sourly. + </p> + <p> + As for me I addressed myself quite simply to the business of obtaining + recruits. I knew by personal experience and observation what anyone might + have inferred from the records of Irish emigration, that all an Irishman's + hopes and ambitions turn on his opportunities of getting out of Ireland. + Stimulate his loyalty, and he will stay in Ireland and die for her; for, + incomprehensible as it seems to an Englishman, Irish patriotism does not + take the form of devotion to England and England's king. Appeal to his + discontent, his deadly boredom, his thwarted curiosity and desire for + change and adventure, and, to escape from Ireland, he will go abroad to + risk his life for France, for the Papal States, for secession in America, + and even, if no better may be, for England. Knowing that the ignorance and + insularity of the Irishman is a danger to himself and to his neighbors, I + had no scruple in making that appeal when there was something for him to + fight which the whole world had to fight unless it meant to come under the + jack boot of the German version of Dublin Castle. + </p> + <p> + There was another consideration, unmentionable by the recruiting sergeants + and war orators, which must nevertheless have helped them powerfully in + procuring soldiers by voluntary enlistment. The happy home of the idealist + may become common under millennial conditions. It is not common at + present. No one will ever know how many men joined the army in 1914 and + 1915 to escape from tyrants and taskmasters, termagants and shrews, none + of whom are any the less irksome when they happen by ill-luck to be also + our fathers, our mothers, our wives and our children. Even at their + amiablest, a holiday from them may be a tempting change for all parties. + That is why I did not endow O'Flaherty V.C. with an ideal Irish colleen + for his sweetheart, and gave him for his mother a Volumnia of the potato + patch rather than a affectionate parent from whom he could not so easily + have torn himself away. + </p> + <p> + I need hardly say that a play thus carefully adapted to its purpose was + voted utterly inadmissible; and in due course the British Government, + frightened out of its wits for the moment by the rout of the Fifth Army, + ordained Irish Conscription, and then did not dare to go through with it. + I still think my own line was the more businesslike. But during the war + everyone except the soldiers at the front imagined that nothing but an + extreme assertion of our most passionate prejudices, without the smallest + regard to their effect on others, could win the war. Finally the British + blockade won the war; but the wonder is that the British blockhead did not + lose it. I suppose the enemy was no wiser. War is not a sharpener of wits; + and I am afraid I gave great offence by keeping my head in this matter of + Irish recruiting. What can I do but apologize, and publish the play now + that it can no longer do any good? + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + O'FLAHERTY V.C. + </h2> + <div class="play"> + <p> + At the door of an Irish country house in a park. Fine, summer weather; + the summer of 1916. The porch, painted white, projects into the drive: + but the door is at the side and the front has a window. The porch faces + east: and the door is in the north side of it. On the south side is a + tree in which a thrush is singing. Under the window is a garden seat + with an iron chair at each end of it. + </p> + <p> + The last four bars of God Save the King are heard in the distance, + followed by three cheers. Then the band strikes up It's a Long Way to + Tipperary and recedes until it is out of hearing. + </p> + <p> + Private O'Flaherty V.C. comes wearily southward along the drive, and + falls exhausted into the garden seat. The thrush utters a note of alarm + and flies away. The tramp of a horse is heard. + </p> + <p> + A GENTLEMAN'S VOICE. Tim! Hi! Tim! [He is heard dismounting.] + </p> + <p> + A LABORER'S VOICE. Yes, your honor. + </p> + <p> + THE GENTLEMAN'S VOICE. Take this horse to the stables, will you? + </p> + <p> + A LABORER'S VOICE. Right, your honor. Yup there. Gwan now. Gwan. [The + horse is led away.] + </p> + <p> + General Sir Pearce Madigan, an elderly baronet in khaki, beaming with + enthusiasm, arrives. O'Flaherty rises and stands at attention. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. No, no, O'Flaherty: none of that now. You're off duty. + Remember that though I am a general of forty years service, that little + Cross of yours gives you a higher rank in the roll of glory than I can + pretend to. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [relaxing]. I'm thankful to you, Sir Pearce; but I wouldn't + have anyone think that the baronet of my native place would let a common + soldier like me sit down in his presence without leave. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Well, you're not a common soldier, O'Flaherty: you're a very + uncommon one; and I'm proud to have you for my guest here today. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Sure I know, sir. You have to put up with a lot from the + like of me for the sake of the recruiting. All the quality shakes hands + with me and says they're proud to know me, just the way the king said + when he pinned the Cross on me. And it's as true as I'm standing here, + sir, the queen said to me: "I hear you were born on the estate of + General Madigan," she says; "and the General himself tells me you were + always a fine young fellow." "Bedad, Mam," I says to her, "if the + General knew all the rabbits I snared on him, and all the salmon I + snatched on him, and all the cows I milked on him, he'd think me the + finest ornament for the county jail he ever sent there for poaching." + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [Laughing]. You're welcome to them all, my lad. Come [he + makes him sit down again on the garden seat]! sit down and enjoy your + holiday [he sits down on one of the iron chairs; the one at the doorless + side of the porch.] + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Holiday, is it? I'd give five shillings to be back in the + trenches for the sake of a little rest and quiet. I never knew what hard + work was till I took to recruiting. What with the standing on my legs + all day, and the shaking hands, and the making speeches, and—what's + worse—the listening to them and the calling for cheers for king + and country, and the saluting the flag till I'm stiff with it, and the + listening to them playing God Save the King and Tipperary, and the + trying to make my eyes look moist like a man in a picture book, I'm that + bet that I hardly get a wink of sleep. I give you my word, Sir Pearce, + that I never heard the tune of Tipperary in my life till I came back + from Flanders; and already it's drove me to that pitch of tiredness of + it that when a poor little innocent slip of a boy in the street the + other night drew himself up and saluted and began whistling it at me, I + clouted his head for him, God forgive me. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [soothingly]. Yes, yes: I know. I know. One does get fed up + with it: I've been dog tired myself on parade many a time. But still, + you know, there's a gratifying side to it, too. After all, he is our + king; and it's our own country, isn't it? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Well, sir, to you that have an estate in it, it would feel + like your country. But the divil a perch of it ever I owned. And as to + the king: God help him, my mother would have taken the skin off my back + if I'd ever let on to have any other king than Parnell. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [rising, painfully shocked]. Your mother! What are you + dreaming about, O'Flaherty? A most loyal woman. Always most loyal. + Whenever there is an illness in the Royal Family, she asks me every time + we meet about the health of the patient as anxiously as if it were + yourself, her only son. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Well, she's my mother; and I won't utter a word agen her. + But I'm not saying a word of lie when I tell you that that old woman is + the biggest kanatt from here to the cross of Monasterboice. Sure she's + the wildest Fenian and rebel, and always has been, that ever taught a + poor innocent lad like myself to pray night and morning to St Patrick to + clear the English out of Ireland the same as he cleared the snakes. + You'll be surprised at my telling you that now, maybe, Sir Pearce? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [unable to keep still, walking away from O'Flaherty]. + Surprised! I'm more than surprised, O'Flaherty. I'm overwhelmed. + [Turning and facing him.] Are you—are you joking? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. If you'd been brought up by my mother, sir, you'd know + better than to joke about her. What I'm telling you is the truth; and I + wouldn't tell it to you if I could see my way to get out of the fix I'll + be in when my mother comes here this day to see her boy in his glory, + and she after thinking all the time it was against the English I was + fighting. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Do you mean to say you told her such a monstrous falsehood + as that you were fighting in the German army? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. I never told her one word that wasn't the truth and nothing + but the truth. I told her I was going to fight for the French and for + the Russians; and sure who ever heard of the French or the Russians + doing anything to the English but fighting them? That was how it was, + sir. And sure the poor woman kissed me and went about the house singing + in her old cracky voice that the French was on the sea, and they'd be + here without delay, and the Orange will decay, says the Shan Van Vocht. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [sitting down again, exhausted by his feelings]. Well, I + never could have believed this. Never. What do you suppose will happen + when she finds out? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. She mustn't find out. It's not that she'd half kill me, as + big as I am and as brave as I am. It's that I'm fond of her, and can't + bring myself to break the heart in her. You may think it queer that a + man should be fond of his mother, sir, and she having bet him from the + time he could feel to the time she was too slow to ketch him; but I'm + fond of her; and I'm not ashamed of it. Besides, didn't she win the + Cross for me? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Your mother! How? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. By bringing me up to be more afraid of running away than of + fighting. I was timid by nature; and when the other boys hurted me, I'd + want to run away and cry. But she whaled me for disgracing the blood of + the O'Flahertys until I'd have fought the divil himself sooner than face + her after funking a fight. That was how I got to know that fighting was + easier than it looked, and that the others was as much afeard of me as I + was of them, and that if I only held out long enough they'd lose heart + and give rip. That's the way I came to be so courageous. I tell you, Sir + Pearce, if the German army had been brought up by my mother, the Kaiser + would be dining in the banqueting hall at Buckingham Palace this day, + and King George polishing his jack boots for him in the scullery. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. But I don't like this, O'Flaherty. You can't go on deceiving + your mother, you know. It's not right. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Can't go on deceiving her, can't I? It's little you know + what a son's love can do, sir. Did you ever notice what a ready liar I + am? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Well, in recruiting a man gets carried away. I stretch it a + bit occasionally myself. After all, it's for king and country. But if + you won't mind my saying it, O'Flaherty, I think that story about your + fighting the Kaiser and the twelve giants of the Prussian guard + singlehanded would be the better for a little toning down. I don't ask + you to drop it, you know; for it's popular, undoubtedly; but still, the + truth is the truth. Don't you think it would fetch in almost as many + recruits if you reduced the number of guardsmen to six? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. You're not used to telling lies like I am, sir. I got great + practice at home with my mother. What with saving my skin when I was + young and thoughtless, and sparing her feelings when I was old enough to + understand them, I've hardly told my mother the truth twice a year since + I was born; and would you have me turn round on her and tell it now, + when she's looking to have some peace and quiet in her old age? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [troubled in his conscience]. Well, it's not my affair, of + course, O'Flaherty. But hadn't you better talk to Father Quinlan about + it? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Talk to Father Quinlan, is it! Do you know what Father + Quinlan says to me this very morning? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Oh, you've seen him already, have you? What did he say? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. He says "You know, don't you," he says, "that it's your + duty, as a Christian and a good son of the Holy Church, to love your + enemies?" he says. "I know it's my juty as a soldier to kill them," I + says. "That's right, Dinny," he says: "quite right. But," says he, "you + can kill them and do them a good turn afterward to show your love for + them" he says; "and it's your duty to have a mass said for the souls of + the hundreds of Germans you say you killed," says he; "for many and many + of them were Bavarians and good Catholics," he says. "Is it me that must + pay for masses for the souls of the Boshes?" I says. "Let the King of + England pay for them," I says; "for it was his quarrel and not mine." + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [warmly]. It is the quarrel of every honest man and true + patriot, O'Flaherty. Your mother must see that as clearly as I do. After + all, she is a reasonable, well disposed woman, quite capable of + understanding the right and the wrong of the war. Why can't you explain + to her what the war is about? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Arra, sir, how the divil do I know what the war is about? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [rising again and standing over him]. What! O'Flaherty: do + you know what you are saying? You sit there wearing the Victoria Cross + for having killed God knows how many Germans; and you tell me you don't + know why you did it! + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Asking your pardon, Sir Pearce, I tell you no such thing. I + know quite well why I kilt them, because I was afeard that, if I didn't, + they'd kill me. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [giving it up, and sitting down again]. Yes, yes, of course; + but have you no knowledge of the causes of the war? of the interests at + stake? of the importance—I may almost say—in fact I will say—the + sacred right for which we are fighting? Don't you read the papers? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. I do when I can get them. There's not many newsboys crying + the evening paper in the trenches. They do say, Sir Pearce, that we + shall never beat the Boshes until we make Horatio Bottomley Lord + Leftnant of England. Do you think that's true, sir? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Rubbish, man! there's no Lord Lieutenant in England: the + king is Lord Lieutenant. It's a simple question of patriotism. Does + patriotism mean nothing to you? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. It means different to me than what it would to you, sir. It + means England and England's king to you. To me and the like of me, it + means talking about the English just the way the English papers talk + about the Boshes. And what good has it ever done here in Ireland? It's + kept me ignorant because it filled up my mother's mind, and she thought + it ought to fill up mine too. It's kept Ireland poor, because instead of + trying to better ourselves we thought we was the fine fellows of + patriots when we were speaking evil of Englishmen that was as poor as + ourselves and maybe as good as ourselves. The Boshes I kilt was more + knowledgable men than me; and what better am I now that I've kilt them? + What better is anybody? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [huffed, turning a cold shoulder to him]. I am sorry the + terrible experience of this war—the greatest war ever fought—has + taught you no better, O'Flaherty. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [preserving his dignity]. I don't know about it's being a + great war, sir. It's a big war; but that's not the same thing. Father + Quinlan's new church is a big church: you might take the little old + chapel out of the middle of it and not miss it. But my mother says there + was more true religion in the old chapel. And the war has taught me that + maybe she was right. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [grunts sulkily]!! + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [respectfully but doggedly]. And there's another thing it's + taught me too, sir, that concerns you and me, if I may make bold to tell + it to you. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [still sulky]. I hope it's nothing you oughtn't to say to me, + O'Flaherty. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. It's this, sir: that I'm able to sit here now and talk to + you without humbugging you; and that's what not one of your tenants or + your tenants' childer ever did to you before in all your long life. It's + a true respect I'm showing you at last, sir. Maybe you'd rather have me + humbug you and tell you lies as I used, just as the boys here, God help + them, would rather have me tell them how I fought the Kaiser, that all + the world knows I never saw in my life, than tell them the truth. But I + can't take advantage of you the way I used, not even if I seem to be + wanting in respect to you and cocked up by winning the Cross. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [touched]. Not at all, O'Flaherty. Not at all. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Sure what's the Cross to me, barring the little pension it + carries? Do you think I don't know that there's hundreds of men as brave + as me that never had the luck to get anything for their bravery but a + curse from the sergeant, and the blame for the faults of them that ought + to have been their betters? I've learnt more than you'd think, sir; for + how would a gentleman like you know what a poor ignorant conceited + creature I was when I went from here into the wide world as a soldier? + What use is all the lying, and pretending, and humbugging, and letting + on, when the day comes to you that your comrade is killed in the trench + beside you, and you don't as much as look round at him until you trip + over his poor body, and then all you say is to ask why the hell the + stretcher-bearers don't take it out of the way. Why should I read the + papers to be humbugged and lied to by them that had the cunning to stay + at home and send me to fight for them? Don't talk to me or to any + soldier of the war being right. No war is right; and all the holy water + that Father Quinlan ever blessed couldn't make one right. There, sir! + Now you know what O'Flaherty V.C. thinks; and you're wiser so than the + others that only knows what he done. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [making the best of it, and turning goodhumoredly to him + again]. Well, what you did was brave and manly, anyhow. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. God knows whether it was or not, better than you nor me, + General. I hope He won't be too hard on me for it, anyhow. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [sympathetically]. Oh yes: we all have to think seriously + sometimes, especially when we're a little run down. I'm afraid we've + been overworking you a bit over these recruiting meetings. However, we + can knock off for the rest of the day; and tomorrow's Sunday. I've had + about as much as I can stand myself. [He looks at his watch.] It's + teatime. I wonder what's keeping your mother. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. It's nicely cocked up the old woman will be having tea at + the same table as you, sir, instead of in the kitchen. She'll be after + dressing in the heighth of grandeur; and stop she will at every house on + the way to show herself off and tell them where she's going, and fill + the whole parish with spite and envy. But sure, she shouldn't keep you + waiting, sir. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Oh, that's all right: she must be indulged on an occasion + like this. I'm sorry my wife is in London: she'd have been glad to + welcome your mother. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Sure, I know she would, sir. She was always a kind friend to + the poor. Little her ladyship knew, God help her, the depth of divilment + that was in us: we were like a play to her. You see, sir, she was + English: that was how it was. We was to her what the Pathans and + Senegalese was to me when I first seen them: I couldn't think, somehow, + that they were liars, and thieves, and backbiters, and drunkards, just + like ourselves or any other Christians. Oh, her ladyship never knew all + that was going on behind her back: how would she? When I was a weeshy + child, she gave me the first penny I ever had in my hand; and I wanted + to pray for her conversion that night the same as my mother made me pray + for yours; and— + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [scandalized]. Do you mean to say that your mother made you + pray for MY conversion? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Sure and she wouldn't want to see a gentleman like you going + to hell after she nursing your own son and bringing up my sister Annie + on the bottle. That was how it was, sir. She'd rob you; and she'd lie to + you; and she'd call down all the blessings of God on your head when she + was selling you your own three geese that you thought had been ate by + the fox the day after you'd finished fattening them, sir; and all the + time you were like a bit of her own flesh and blood to her. Often has + she said she'd live to see you a good Catholic yet, leading victorious + armies against the English and wearing the collar of gold that Malachi + won from the proud invader. Oh, she's the romantic woman is my mother, + and no mistake. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [in great perturbation]. I really can't believe this, + O'Flaherty. I could have sworn your mother was as honest a woman as ever + breathed. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. And so she is, sir. She's as honest as the day. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Do you call it honest to steal my geese? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. She didn't steal them, sir. It was me that stole them. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Oh! And why the devil did you steal them? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Sure we needed them, sir. Often and often we had to sell our + own geese to pay you the rent to satisfy your needs; and why shouldn't + we sell your geese to satisfy ours? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Well, damn me! + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [sweetly]. Sure you had to get what you could out of us; and + we had to get what we could out of you. God forgive us both! + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Really, O'Flaherty, the war seems to have upset you a + little. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. It's set me thinking, sir; and I'm not used to it. It's like + the patriotism of the English. They never thought of being patriotic + until the war broke out; and now the patriotism has took them so sudden + and come so strange to them that they run about like frightened + chickens, uttering all manner of nonsense. But please God they'll forget + all about it when the war's over. They're getting tired of it already. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. No, no: it has uplifted us all in a wonderful way. The world + will never be the same again, O'Flaherty. Not after a war like this. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. So they all say, sir. I see no great differ myself. It's all + the fright and the excitement; and when that quiets down they'll go back + to their natural divilment and be the same as ever. It's like the + vermin: it'll wash off after a while. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [rising and planting himself firmly behind the garden seat]. + Well, the long and the short of it is, O'Flaherty, I must decline to be + a party to any attempt to deceive your mother. I thoroughly disapprove + of this feeling against the English, especially at a moment like the + present. Even if your mother's political sympathies are really what you + represent them to be, I should think that her gratitude to Gladstone + ought to cure her of such disloyal prejudices. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [over his shoulder]. She says Gladstone was an Irishman, Sir. + What call would he have to meddle with Ireland as he did if he wasn't? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. What nonsense! Does she suppose Mr Asquith is an Irishman? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. She won't give him any credit for Home Rule, Sir. She says + Redmond made him do it. She says you told her so. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [convicted out of his own mouth]. Well, I never meant her to + take it up in that ridiculous way. [He moves to the end of the garden + seat on O'Flaherty's left.] I'll give her a good talking to when she + comes. I'm not going to stand any of her nonsense. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. It's not a bit of use, sir. She says all the English + generals is Irish. She says all the English poets and great men was + Irish. She says the English never knew how to read their own books until + we taught them. She says we're the lost tribes of the house of Israel + and the chosen people of God. She says that the goddess Venus, that was + born out of the foam of the sea, came up out of the water in Killiney + Bay off Bray Head. She says that Moses built the seven churches, and + that Lazarus was buried in Glasnevin. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Bosh! How does she know he was? Did you ever ask her? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. I did, sir, often. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. And what did she say? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. She asked me how did I know he wasn't, and fetched me a + clout on the side of my head. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. But have you never mentioned any famous Englishman to her, + and asked her what she had to say about him? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. The only one I could think of was Shakespeare, sir; and she + says he was born in Cork. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [exhausted]. Well, I give it up [he throws himself into the + nearest chair]. The woman is—Oh, well! No matter. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [sympathetically]. Yes, sir: she's pigheaded and obstinate: + there's no doubt about it. She's like the English: they think there's no + one like themselves. It's the same with the Germans, though they're + educated and ought to know better. You'll never have a quiet world till + you knock the patriotism out of the human race. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Still, we— + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Whisht, sir, for God's sake: here she is. + </p> + <p> + The General jumps up. Mrs. O'Flaherty arrives and comes between the two + men. She is very clean, and carefully dressed in the old fashioned + peasant costume; black silk sunbonnet with a tiara of trimmings, and + black cloak. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [rising shyly]. Good evening, mother. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [severely]. You hold your whisht, and learn behavior + while I pay my juty to his honor. [To Sir Pearce, heartily.] And how is + your honor's good self? And how is her ladyship and all the young + ladies? Oh, it's right glad we are to see your honor back again and + looking the picture of health. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [forcing a note of extreme geniality]. Thank you, Mrs + O'Flaherty. Well, you see we've brought you back your son safe and + sound. I hope you're proud of him. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. And indeed and I am, your honor. It's the brave boy he + is; and why wouldn't he be, brought up on your honor's estate and with + you before his eyes for a pattern of the finest soldier in Ireland. Come + and kiss your old mother, Dinny darlint. [O'Flaherty does so + sheepishly.] That's my own darling boy. And look at your fine new + uniform stained already with the eggs you've been eating and the porter + you've been drinking. [She takes out her handkerchief: spits on it: and + scrubs his lapel with it.] Oh, it's the untidy slovenly one you always + were. There! It won't be seen on the khaki: it's not like the old red + coat that would show up everything that dribbled down on it. [To Sir + Pearce.] And they tell me down at the lodge that her ladyship is staying + in London, and that Miss Agnes is to be married to a fine young + nobleman. Oh, it's your honor that is the lucky and happy father! It + will be bad news for many of the young gentlemen of the quality round + here, sir. There's lots thought she was going to marry young Master + Lawless + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. What! That—that—that bosthoon! + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [hilariously]. Let your honor alone for finding the right + word! A big bosthoon he is indeed, your honor. Oh, to think of the times + and times I have said that Miss Agnes would be my lady as her mother was + before her! Didn't I, Dinny? + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. And now, Mrs. O'Flaherty, I daresay you have a great deal to + say to Dennis that doesn't concern me. I'll just go in and order tea. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Oh, why would your honor disturb yourself? Sure I can + take the boy into the yard. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Not at all. It won't disturb me in the least. And he's too + big a boy to be taken into the yard now. He has made a front seat for + himself. Eh? [He goes into the house.] + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Sure he has that, your honor. God bless your honor! [The + General being now out of hearing, she turns threateningly to her son + with one of those sudden Irish changes of manner which amaze and + scandalize less flexible nations, and exclaims.] And what do you mean, + you lying young scald, by telling me you were going to fight agen the + English? Did you take me for a fool that couldn't find out, and the + papers all full of you shaking hands with the English king at Buckingham + Palace? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. I didn't shake hands with him: he shook hands with me. Could + I turn on the man in his own house, before his own wife, with his money + in my pocket and in yours, and throw his civility back in his face? + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. You would take the hand of a tyrant red with the blood + of Ireland— + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Arra hold your nonsense, mother: he's not half the tyrant + you are, God help him. His hand was cleaner than mine that had the blood + of his own relations on it, maybe. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [threateningly]. Is that a way to speak to your mother, + you young spalpeen? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [stoutly]. It is so, if you won't talk sense to me. It's a + nice thing for a poor boy to be made much of by kings and queens, and + shook hands with by the heighth of his country's nobility in the capital + cities of the world, and then to come home and be scolded and insulted + by his own mother. I'll fight for who I like; and I'll shake hands with + what kings I like; and if your own son is not good enough for you, you + can go and look for another. Do you mind me now? + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. And was it the Belgians learned you such brazen + impudence? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. The Belgians is good men; and the French ought to be more + civil to them, let alone their being half murdered by the Boshes. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Good men is it! Good men! to come over here when they + were wounded because it was a Catholic country, and then to go to the + Protestant Church because it didn't cost them anything, and some of them + to never go near a church at all. That's what you call good men! + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Oh, you're the mighty fine politician, aren't you? Much you + know about Belgians or foreign parts or the world you're living in, God + help you! + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Why wouldn't I know better than you? Amment I your + mother? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. And if you are itself, how can you know what you never seen + as well as me that was dug into the continent of Europe for six months, + and was buried in the earth of it three times with the shells bursting + on the top of me? I tell you I know what I'm about. I have my own + reasons for taking part in this great conflict. I'd be ashamed to stay + at home and not fight when everybody else is fighting. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. If you wanted to fight, why couldn't you fight in the + German army? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Because they only get a penny a day. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Well, and if they do itself, isn't there the French + army? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. They only get a hapenny a day. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [much dashed]. Oh murder! They must be a mean lot, Dinny. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [sarcastic]. Maybe you'd have me in the Turkish army, and + worship the heathen Mahomet that put a corn in his ear and pretended it + was a message from the heavens when the pigeon come to pick it out and + eat it. I went where I could get the biggest allowance for you; and + little thanks I get for it! + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Allowance, is it! Do you know what the thieving + blackguards did on me? They came to me and they says, "Was your son a + big eater?" they says. "Oh, he was that," says I: "ten shillings a week + wouldn't keep him." Sure I thought the more I said the more they'd give + me. "Then," says they, "that's ten shillings a week off your allowance," + they says, "because you save that by the king feeding him." "Indeed!" + says I: "I suppose if I'd six sons, you'd stop three pound a week from + me, and make out that I ought to pay you money instead of you paying + me." "There's a fallacy in your argument," they says. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. A what? + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. A fallacy: that's the word he said. I says to him, "It's + a Pharisee I'm thinking you mean, sir; but you can keep your dirty money + that your king grudges a poor old widow; and please God the English will + be got yet for the deadly sin of oppressing the poor;" and with that I + shut the door in his face. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [furious]. Do you tell me they knocked ten shillings off you + for my keep? + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [soothing him]. No, darlint: they only knocked off half a + crown. I put up with it because I've got the old age pension; and they + know very well I'm only sixty-two; so I've the better of them by half a + crown a week anyhow. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. It's a queer way of doing business. If they'd tell you + straight out what they was going to give you, you wouldn't mind; but if + there was twenty ways of telling the truth and only one way of telling a + lie, the Government would find it out. It's in the nature of governments + to tell lies. + </p> + <p> + Teresa Driscoll, a parlor maid, comes from the house, + </p> + <p> + TERESA. You're to come up to the drawing-room to have your tea, Mrs. + O'Flaherty. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Mind you have a sup of good black tea for me in the + kitchen afterwards, acushla. That washy drawing-room tea will give me + the wind if I leave it on my stomach. [She goes into the house, leaving + the two young people alone together.] + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Is that yourself, Tessie? And how are you? + </p> + <p> + TERESA. Nicely, thank you. And how's yourself? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Finely, thank God. [He produces a gold chain.] Look what + I've brought you, Tessie. + </p> + <p> + TERESA [shrinking]. Sure I don't like to touch it, Denny. Did you take + it off a dead man? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. No: I took it off a live one; and thankful he was to me to + be alive and kept a prisoner in ease and comfort, and me left fighting + in peril of my life. + </p> + <p> + TERESA [taking it]. Do you think it's real gold, Denny? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. It's real German gold, anyhow. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. But German silver isn't real, Denny. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [his face darkening]. Well, it's the best the Bosh could do + for me, anyhow. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. Do you think I might take it to the jeweller next market day and + ask him? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [sulkily]. You may take it to the divil if you like. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. You needn't lose your temper about it. I only thought I'd like + to know. The nice fool I'd look if I went about showing off a chain that + turned out to be only brass! + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. I think you might say Thank you. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. Do you? I think you might have said something more to me than + "Is that yourself?" You couldn't say less to the postman. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [his brow clearing]. Oh, is that what's the matter? Here! + come and take the taste of ther brass out of my mouth. [He seizes her + and kisses her.] + </p> + <p> + Teresa, without losing her Irish dignity, takes the kiss as + appreciatively as a connoisseur might take a glass of wine, and sits + down with him on the garden seat, + </p> + <p> + TERESA [as he squeezes her waist]. Thank God the priest can't see us + here! + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. It's little they care for priests in France, alanna. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. And what had the queen on her, Denny, when she spoke to you in + the palace? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. She had a bonnet on without any strings to it. And she had a + plakeen of embroidery down her bosom. And she had her waist where it + used to be, and not where the other ladies had it. And she had little + brooches in her ears, though she hadn't half the jewelry of Mrs Sullivan + that keeps the popshop in Drumpogue. And she dresses her hair down over + her forehead, in a fringe like. And she has an Irish look about her + eyebrows. And she didn't know what to say to me, poor woman! and I + didn't know what to say to her, God help me! + </p> + <p> + TERESA. You'll have a pension now with the Cross, won't you, Denny? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Sixpence three farthings a day. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. That isn't much. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. I take out the rest in glory. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. And if you're wounded, you'll have a wound pension, won't you? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. I will, please God. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. You're going out again, aren't you, Denny? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. I can't help myself. I'd be shot for a deserter if I didn't + go; and maybe I'll be shot by the Boshes if I do go; so between the two + of them I'm nicely fixed up. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [calling from within the house]. Tessie! Tessie darlint! + </p> + <p> + TERESA [disengaging herself from his arm and rising]. I'm wanted for the + tea table. You'll have a pension anyhow, Denny, won't you, whether + you're wounded or not? + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Come, child, come. + </p> + <p> + TERESA [impatiently]. Oh, sure I'm coming. [She tries to smile at Denny, + not very convincingly, and hurries into the house.] + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [alone]. And if I do get a pension itself, the divil a penny + of it you'll ever have the spending of. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [as she comes from the porch]. Oh, it's a shame for you + to keep the girl from her juties, Dinny. You might get her into trouble. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Much I care whether she gets into trouble or not! I pity the + man that gets her into trouble. He'll get himself into worse. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. What's that you tell me? Have you been falling out with + her, and she a girl with a fortune of ten pounds? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Let her keep her fortune. I wouldn't touch her with the + tongs if she had thousands and millions. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Oh fie for shame, Dinny! why would you say the like of + that of a decent honest girl, and one of the Driscolls too? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Why wouldn't I say it? She's thinking of nothing but to get + me out there again to be wounded so that she may spend my pension, bad + scran to her! + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Why, what's come over you, child, at all at all? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Knowledge and wisdom has come over me with pain and fear and + trouble. I've been made a fool of and imposed upon all my life. I + thought that covetious sthreal in there was a walking angel; and now if + ever I marry at all I'll marry a Frenchwoman. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLARERTY [fiercely]. You'll not, so; and don't you dar repeat such + a thing to me. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Won't I, faith! I've been as good as married to a couple of + them already. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. The Lord be praised, what wickedness have you been up + to, you young blackguard? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. One of them Frenchwomen would cook you a meal twice in the + day and all days and every day that Sir Pearce himself might go begging + through Ireland for, and never see the like of. I'll have a French wife, + I tell you; and when I settle down to be a farmer I'll have a French + farm, with a field as big as the continent of Europe that ten of your + dirty little fields here wouldn't so much as fill the ditch of. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [furious]. Then it's a French mother you may go look for; + for I'm done with you. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. And it's no great loss you'd be if it wasn't for my natural + feelings for you; for it's only a silly ignorant old countrywoman you + are with all your fine talk about Ireland: you that never stepped beyond + the few acres of it you were born on! + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [tottering to the garden seat and showing signs of + breaking down]. Dinny darlint, why are you like this to me? What's + happened to you? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [gloomily]. What's happened to everybody? that's what I want + to know. What's happened to you that I thought all the world of and was + afeard of? What's happened to Sir Pearce, that I thought was a great + general, and that I now see to be no more fit to command an army than an + old hen? What's happened to Tessie, that I was mad to marry a year ago, + and that I wouldn't take now with all Ireland for her fortune? I tell + you the world's creation is crumbling in ruins about me; and then you + come and ask what's happened to me? + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [giving way to wild grief]. Ochone! ochone! my son's + turned agen me. Oh, what'll I do at all at all? Oh! oh! oh! oh! + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [running out of the house]. What's this infernal noise? What + on earth is the matter? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Arra hold your whisht, mother. Don't you see his honor? + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Oh, Sir, I'm ruined and destroyed. Oh, won't you speak + to Dinny, Sir: I'm heart scalded with him. He wants to marry a + Frenchwoman on me, and to go away and be a foreigner and desert his + mother and betray his country. It's mad he is with the roaring of the + cannons and he killing the Germans and the Germans killing him, bad cess + to them! My boy is taken from me and turned agen me; and who is to take + care of me in my old age after all I've done for him, ochone! ochone! + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Hold your noise, I tell you. Who's going to leave you? I'm + going to take you with me. There now: does that satisfy you? + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Is it take me into a strange land among heathens and + pagans and savages, and me not knowing a word of their language nor them + of mine? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. A good job they don't: maybe they'll think you're talking + sense. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Ask me to die out of Ireland, is it? and the angels not + to find me when they come for me! + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. And would you ask me to live in Ireland where I've been + imposed on and kept in ignorance, and to die where the divil himself + wouldn't take me as a gift, let alone the blessed angels? You can come + or stay. You can take your old way or take my young way. But stick in + this place I will not among a lot of good-for-nothing divils that'll not + do a hand's turn but watch the grass growing and build up the stone wall + where the cow walked through it. And Sir Horace Plunkett breaking his + heart all the time telling them how they might put the land into decent + tillage like the French and Belgians. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Yes, he's quite right, you know, Mrs O'Flaherty: quite right + there. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Well, sir, please God the war will last a long time yet; + and maybe I'll die before it's over and the separation allowance stops. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. That's all you care about. It's nothing but milch cows we + men are for the women, with their separation allowances, ever since the + war began, bad luck to them that made it! + </p> + <p> + TERESA [coming from the porch between the General and Mrs O'Flaherty.] + Hannah sent me out for to tell you, sir, that the tea will be black and + the cake not fit to eat with the cold if yous all don't come at wanst. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [breaking out again]. Oh, Tessie darlint, what have you + been saying to Dinny at all at all? Oh! Oh— + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE [out of patience]. You can't discuss that here. We shall have + Tessie beginning now. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. That's right, sir: drive them in. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. I haven't said a word to him. He— + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Hold your tongue; and go in and attend to your business at + the tea table. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. But amment I telling your honor that I never said a word to him? + He gave me a beautiful gold chain. Here it is to show your honor that + it's no lie I'm telling you. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. What's this, O'Flaherty? You've been looting some + unfortunate officer. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. No, sir: I stole it from him of his own accord. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY. Wouldn't your honor tell him that his mother has the + first call on it? What would a slip of a girl like that be doing with a + gold chain round her neck? + </p> + <p> + TERESA [venomously]. Anyhow, I have a neck to put it round and not a + hank of wrinkles. + </p> + <p> + At this unfortunate remark, Mrs O'Flaherty bounds from her seat: and an + appalling tempest of wordy wrath breaks out. The remonstrances and + commands of the General, and the protests and menaces of O'Flaherty, + only increase the hubbub. They are soon all speaking at once at the top + of their voices. + </p> + <p> + MRS O'FLAHERTY [solo]. You impudent young heifer, how dar you say such a + thing to me? [Teresa retorts furiously: the men interfere: and the solo + becomes a quartet, fortissimo.] I've a good mind to clout your ears for + you to teach you manners. Be ashamed of yourself, do; and learn to know + who you're speaking to. That I maytn't sin! but I don't know what the + good God was thinking about when he made the like of you. Let me not see + you casting sheep's eyes at my son again. There never was an O'Flaherty + yet that would demean himself by keeping company with a dirty Driscoll; + and if I see you next or nigh my house I'll put you in the ditch with a + flea in your ear: mind that now. + </p> + <p> + TERESA. Is it me you offer such a name to, you fou-mouthed, + dirty-minded, lying, sloothering old sow, you? I wouldn't soil my tongue + by calling you in your right name and telling Sir Pearce what's the + common talk of the town about you. You and your O'Flahertys! setting + yourself up agen the Driscolls that would never lower themselves to be + seen in conversation with you at the fair. You can keep your ugly stingy + lump of a son; for what is he but a common soldier? and God help the + girl that gets him, say I! So the back of my hand to you, Mrs + O'Flaherty; and that the cat may tear your ugly old face! + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Silence. Tessie, did you hear me ordering you to go into the + house? Mrs O'Flaherty! [Louder.] Mrs O'Flaherty!! Will you just listen + to me one moment? Please. [Furiously.] Do you hear me speaking to you, + woman? Are you human beings or are you wild beasts? Stop that noise + immediately: do you hear? [Yelling.] Are you going to do what I order + you, or are you not? Scandalous! Disgraceful! This comes of being too + familiar with you. O'Flaherty, shove them into the house. Out with the + whole damned pack of you. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [to the women]. Here now: none of that, none of that. Go + easy, I tell you. Hold your whisht, mother, will you, or you'll be sorry + for it after. [To Teresa.] Is that the way for a decent young girl to + speak? [Despairingly.] Oh, for the Lord's sake, shut up, will yous? Have + you no respect for yourselves or your betters? [Peremptorily.] Let me + have no more of it, I tell you. Och! the divil's in the whole crew of + you. In with you into the house this very minute and tear one another's + eyes out in the kitchen if you like. In with you. + </p> + <p> + The two men seize the two women, and push them, still violently abusing + one another, into the house. Sir Pearce slams the door upon them + savagely. Immediately a heavenly silence falls on the summer afternoon. + The two sit down out of breath: and for a long time nothing is said. Sir + Pearce sits on an iron chair. O'Flaherty sits on the garden seat. The + thrush begins to sing melodiously. O'Flaherty cocks his ears, and looks + up at it. A smile spreads over his troubled features. Sir Pearce, with a + long sigh, takes out his pipe and begins to fill it. + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY [idyllically]. What a discontented sort of an animal a man + is, sir! Only a month ago, I was in the quiet of the country out at the + front, with not a sound except the birds and the bellow of a cow in the + distance as it might be, and the shrapnel making little clouds in the + heavens, and the shells whistling, and maybe a yell or two when one of + us was hit; and would you believe it, sir, I complained of the noise and + wanted to have a peaceful hour at home. Well: them two has taught me a + lesson. This morning, sir, when I was telling the boys here how I was + longing to be back taking my part for king and country with the others, + I was lying, as you well knew, sir. Now I can go and say it with a clear + conscience. Some likes war's alarums; and some likes home life. I've + tried both, sir; and I'm for war's alarums now. I always was a quiet lad + by natural disposition. + </p> + <p> + SIR PEARCE. Strictly between ourselves, O'Flaherty, and as one soldier + to another [O'Flaherty salutes, but without stiffening], do you think we + should have got an army without conscription if domestic life had been + as happy as people say it is? + </p> + <p> + O'FLAHERTY. Well, between you and me and the wall, Sir Pearce, I think + the less we say about that until the war's over, the better. + </p> + <p> + He winks at the General. The General strikes a match. The thrush sings. + A jay laughs. The conversation drops. + </p> + <br /> + </div> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of O'Flaherty V. C., by George Bernard Shaw + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK O'FLAHERTY V. 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