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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/34770-8.txt b/34770-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3bdec7e --- /dev/null +++ b/34770-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10778 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Told by the Death's Head, by Mór Jókai + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Told by the Death's Head + A Romantic Tale + +Author: Mór Jókai + +Illustrator: Charles Hope Provost + +Translator: S. E. Boggs + +Release Date: December 28, 2010 [EBook #34770] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TOLD BY THE DEATH'S HEAD *** + + + + +Produced by Steven desJardins and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: "Stay, Constable, I want to see what you put into that +fire pot--open it"] + + + + +TOLD BY THE +DEATH'S HEAD + +A ROMANTIC TALE +BY +MAURUS JÓKAI + +TRANSLATED BY +S. E. BOGGS + +_Translator of Prof. Haeckel's "India and Ceylon," Maurus Jokai's +"The Nameless Castle," etc._ + +ILLUSTRATED + + +THE SAALFIELD PUBLISHING COMPANY +CHICAGO AKRON, OHIO NEW YORK +1908 + +COPYRIGHT, 1902, +BY +THE SAALFIELD PUBLISHING COMPANY + +MADE BY +THE WERNER COMPANY +AKRON, OHIO + + + + +PREFACE. + + +In Part II, Vol. 2, of the Rhenish _Antiquarius_, I once came across a +skull that is said--see page 612--to swing, enclosed in a metal +casket, from an iron bar in the foundry of Ehrenbreitstein fortress. +Distinction of this order does not fall to an ordinary mortal. Yon +empty shell of human wisdom once bore the burden of no less than +twenty-one mortal sins--the seven _originalia_ trebled. Each crime is +noted. The criminal confessed to the entire three-times-seven, and yet +the death sentence was not passed upon him because of the twenty-one +crimes. His fate was decided by the transgression of a military +regulation. + +What if this skull could speak? What if it could defend +itself?--relate, with all the grim humor of one on the rack, the many +pranks played--the mad follies committed, from the banks of the +Weichsel to the delta of the Ganges! + +If my highly esteemed readers will promise to give me their credulous +attention, I will relate what was told to me by the death's head. + +THE AUTHOR. + + + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + + +PREFACE 1 + + +PART I + +I THE "FIRE-POT." 5 +II THE TRIAL. 17 + + +PART II + +I WITH THE ROBBERS--THE PRSJAKA CAVES. 25 +II THE BERDICZOV MONASTERY. 85 + + +PART III +IN THE SERVICE OF THE DUKE. + +I MALACHI. 101 +II PERSIDA. 114 + + +PART IV +WITH THE TEMPLARS. + +I IN THE HOLLOW TREE. 138 + + +PART V +THE HOMICIDE. + +I ON BOARD MYNHEER'S SHIP. 173 +II THE MOO-CALF. 179 + + +PART VI + +I THE FORGERY.--ONE CIPHER. 204 +II THE LEGACY. 207 + + +PART VII + +I PEACEFUL REPOSE. 215 + + +PART VIII +IN BENGAL. + +I BEGUM SUMRO. 232 +II IDOL WORSHIP. 242 +III MAIMUNA, AND DANESH. 249 + + +PART IX +ON THE HIGH SEAS. + +I THE PIRATES. 267 + + +PART X +UXORICIDE. + +I THE SECUNDOGENITUR. 279 +II THE QUICKSANDS. 289 + + +PART XI +IN SATAN'S REALM. + +I THE SATYRS. 300 +II WITCH-SABBATH. 311 + + +PART XII +THE BREAD OF SHAME. + +I THE MAGIC THALER. 323 +II THE HUSBAND OF THE WIFE OF ANOTHER MAN. 329 + + +PART XIII +THE EXCHANGE OF BODIES. + +I THE QUACK DOCTOR. 335 + + +PART XIV + +I THE WHITE DOVE 347 + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + +_By Charles Hope Provost_ + + +"Stay, Constable, I want to see what you put into +that fire pot--open it" _Frontispiece_ + +"I took my lamp, descended to the crypt" 167 + +"I could read in her radiant countenance how overjoyed +she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured +to clasp her once more in my arms" 252 + +"Thus I managed to propel my body slowly, painfully +toward the stable earth" 296 + + + + +PART I. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE "FIRE-POT." + + +The hero of our romantic narrative, or better, narratives, was a +constable. Not one of that useful class appointed, in our day, to +direct the vehicles which pass over the two approaches to the +suspension-bridge in Budapest; rather, he was the chief of a body +whose task it is to provoke disturbance, who win all the more praise +and glory the greater the havoc and destruction they create. In a +word: he was a gunner. + +The chronicle of his exploits gives only his Christian name, which was +"Hugo." + +In the year 1688, when the French beleaguered Coblentz, Hugo had +charge of the battery in the outermost tower of Ehrenbreitstein +fortress--the "Montalembert Tower." + +Coblentz and Ehrenbreitstein are opposite one another on the banks of +the Rhine, as are Pesth and Ofen; and the Blocksberg looks down on us, +as does the citadel of Ehrenbreitstein on Coblentz. + +The city, which is strongly fortified on all sides, had become +accustomed to being beleaguered--now by the French, now by the +Prussians; today by the Austrians, tomorrow by the Swedes. + +On the occasion of which I write, Coblentz was under a terrible fire +from the French guns, which created great havoc in that portion of the +city known as the "Old Town." + +Specially memorable and remarkable was the manner in which the +"fire-balls" seemed to know just where to find the abodes of the duke, +and the commandant of the fortress. It mattered not how often they +changed their quarters, the Frenchmen would always discover them, and +aim accordingly--though it was impossible to see into the city from +outside the walls. There certainly must have been some witch-craft at +work. Hugo's Montalembert tower was on the side of the fortress most +exposed to the assaults of the enemy; its successful defense, +therefore, was all the more worthy of praise. + +The management of ordnance in those days was not the comparatively +simple matter it is today, with the Krupp and the Uchatius guns. It +was a real science to fetch from the furnace a white-hot cannon-ball, +ram it into the long, slender culverin, and if, after the discharge, +the ball remained sticking in the throat of the gun, to remove it with +the various forceps, nippers, and tongs; and, after every shot, to +examine with a curious implement resembling Mercury's caducens, the +interior of the culverin to learn whether the discharge had caused a +rupture anywhere. + +However, it is not necessary to be a great genius in order to master +all the intricacies and technicalities of a gunner's trade. An +ordinary man might even learn, after some practice, how to handle an +"elephant;" and, if he were intrusted with the quadrant, he might also +manage to discharge the heavier bombs with satisfactory result. It +must be remembered, though, that a gunner needs to possess +considerable skill as well as experience in order to hurl successfully +against the approaching foe a "fire-shield," which discharges +simultaneously from every one of its thirty-five holes as many +bullets; and the "storm-tub" requires even more dexterity. This +implement of warfare runs on two wheels. The axles are spiked with +keen-edged knives, and the wheels are filled with gunpowder, which +ignites and explodes when the machine is set in motion. If the powder +ignites promptly in both wheels at the same instant, the infernal +thing dashes like an infuriated bull into the ranks of the enemy, +burning the eyes of some, scorching the beards of others, and hacking +and slashing everything with which its revolving knives come in +contact. If the powder in only one of the wheels explodes, the machine +spins around on the motionless wheel like a top, and scatters an +entire company; if the second wheel explodes only half a second after +the first, then those who have the management of the demon will do +well to take to their heels with all speed possible. + +It is not necessary to explain at length the advantages of the +chain-shot. Anyone will be able to understand its operation if he will +but remember that, when two balls connected by a chain are discharged +toward the enemy, and one of the balls strikes a man, the other ball +will, naturally, circle around the unfortunate until the entire length +of chain is wound tightly about him; the circling ball, meanwhile, +will strike with various results: the head, the nose, the ear, or some +other portion of the bodies of the soldiers within its radius. It is +greatly to be regretted that the use of the "handle-ball" has been +discontinued. This weapon was shaped very much like two pot-ladles, +bound together at the handles by an iron ring. The man who chanced to +be caught between the two ladles might congratulate himself that he +escaped with nothing worse than a choking; while the two soldiers on +his right and left, whose heads had been caught in the bowls of the +ladles, would remember, to the end of their days, the peculiar and +disagreeable sensation experienced. There were two more wonderful +implements of warfare: one a German, the other a French invention. The +former, which was an emanation from Hugo's brain, was called a +"_Bombenjungen-werfer_."[1] It was a huge mortar, the central cavity +capable of holding a bomb of fifty pounds weight; surrounding this +cavity were eight smaller bores, each holding a five-pound bomb. The +same charge hurled every one of the nine bombs in rapid succession +from the mortar; and one can imagine the astonishment of the Frenchman +when, after hearing but one report, the eight "babies" followed, one +after the other, the mother bomb. + +[Footnote 1: Anglice: "Hurler of baby-bombs."] + +This was a diversion Hugo prepared for the beleaguerers, who in return +invented an amusement for him. It was a "fire-pot," was shaped +exactly like the earthen water-jug the Hungarian reaper carries with +him to the harvest field to preserve his drinking-water fresh and +cool. The machine was made of iron, and filled with a diabolical +mixture. It had four spouts--precisely like our water-jug--from which +the fire would hiss and sputter; it was intended to set fire to +everything combustible where it fell. + +The Germans also had what are called "fire-balls," which hiss and +spit, and set fire to everything about them; and other bombs which +explode the moment they touch the earth. The French fire-pot, however, +combined these two properties: it set fire first, and exploded +afterward. + +The beleaguered understood very well how to manage a fire-ball. Like +Helene Zrinyi, the heroine who defended the fortress of Munkács, the +Germans had learned, so soon as a fire-ball fell inside the walls, to +cover it with a wet bullock's-hide, which would at once smother the +fire-spitting monster, and render it harmless. + +But the fire-pot was not to be treated so summarily. If the Germans +attempted to smother the fire-demon, to prevent the air from reaching +his four noses, he would burst, and woe to him who chanced to be in +the way of the flying splinters! He, at least, would have no further +desire to sport with a fire-pot. + +It happened one day that a fire-pot, which had fallen inside the +fortress, did not explode after it had hissed and spit out its fury. +When it became cool enough it was taken to Hugo. + +"Now I shall find out what is inside this dangerous missile," remarked +the constable; "then I'll make some like it and send them to our +friends over yonder." + +Over the neck of the fire-pot was a sort of hat, shaped like those +covering the necks of the Hungarian wooden bottles (_esutora_). This +hat, of course, could be removed. After this discovery Hugo invited +the commandant, the grand-duke, the governor and mayor of the city, +the syndic, and the duke's alchemist to be present at the opening of +the fire-pot. + +Now each one of the invited said to himself: "It will be enough if the +others are there--why should I go? The infernal machine may explode +when they are opening it." + +And so they all stopped bravely at home and Hugo alone found out what +was in the fire-pot. + +After it was opened, and Hugo had convinced himself of the nature of +the diabolical compound it contained, he proceeded to cast several +fire-pots like the French one; and, in the presence of the commandant +and the grand-duke, shot them into the enemy's camp. The two +distinguished gentlemen, who were peering through their telescopes, +were highly delighted when they saw the bombs, which flew through the +air like dragons with tails of fire, reach the points at which they +had been aimed, ignite everything inflammable, and afterward explode. +Now and again it would happen that one of Hugo's fire-pots would fail +to explode in the Frenchmen's camp, just as theirs would sometimes +fail to do what was expected of them. But Hugo always collected the +enemy's unexploded bombs, and, after opening and refilling them with +fresh explosives, would hurl them back whence they came. + +Oh, I tell you war was conducted in those good old days on economical +lines! + +As late even as the year 1809 Napoleon had his men collect 28,000 of +the enemy's cannon-balls on the battle-field of Wagram, and shot them +back at the Austrians; and had the fight continued two days longer, +the opposing armies would have ricocheted the same balls back and +forth so long as the cannonading made it necessary. + +The grand-duke, as was proper, rewarded the constable for his +discovery by an increase of pay--from sixteen to twenty thalers a +month; and in addition made him a present of a barrel of strong beer, +which gave offence to the commandant, who was obliged to quench his +thirst with a weaker brew. + +Hugo had many enviers, but none of them ventured to pick a quarrel +with him. He had the frame of an athlete; his face, with its luxuriant +red-beard, resembled that of a lion. He was always in a good humor; no +one had ever seen Hugo angry, embarrassed, or frightened. There were +no traces of trouble and grief on his countenance. He was perhaps +forty years of age, was somewhat disfigured by small-pox pits, but +wherever there was a pretty girl or woman to be won, Hugo was sure to +attract her. He was fond of good living--liked everything to be of the +best, consequently his money never remained long in his pockets. + +The constable's epicurean tastes irritated the mayor, who, as chief of +the city militia, outranked the artillerist. But Hugo managed on all +occasions to out-do his superior officer. Rieke, the trim little +suttler-wife, would slap the militia captain's fingers if he ventured +to give her a chin-chuck, but a hearty hug from the smiling constable +never met with a repulse. In consequence of the siege prices for the +necessaries, as well as for the luxuries of life, had become +exorbitant in both cities. Three thalers was the unheard-of price +asked at market for a fat goose. The mayor's wife haggled for a long +time about the price without success, when along came pretty Rieke. + +"How much for your goose?" she asked. + +"Three thalers." + +"I'll take it." + +She paid the money and marched away with the goose. + +By some means the mayor learned that Hugo had a baked fat goose for +his dinner. + +"Look here, constable," he said next day to the artillerist, "how +comes it that you can afford to feast on fat goose while I, the mayor, +and your superior officer, must content myself with lean herring, +cheese and bread? Your pay is only twenty thalers a month; mine is +three florins a day. Pray tell me how you manage it?" + +To which Hugo made answer: + +"Well, mayor, if I wanted to deceive you, I should say that the money +for all the good things I enjoy does not come from my pocket; that +Rieke, who is infatuated with me (how I managed _that_ part of the +business I shouldn't tell you), supplies me with whatever I want. But +I'll be honest with you and tell you the truth--but pray don't betray +my secret, for I don't want to have anything to do with the priests. +What I tell you is in strictest confidence and must not go any +farther: I have a magic thaler, one of those coins, vulgarly called a +'breeding-penny,' that always returns to my pocket no matter how often +I may spend it--" + +"You don't say so! And how came you by such a coin, constable?" + +"I'll tell you that, too, mayor, only be careful not to let the +Capuchins hear of it. I got the thaler in the Hochstatt marshes, from +a _bocksritter_--"[2] + +[Footnote 2: Satyr.] + +"I hope you didn't bond your soul to him for it?" interrupted the +mayor. + +"Not I. I outwitted the devil by giving the ritter an ignorant Jew lad +in my stead." + +"You must keep that transaction a secret," cautioned the mayor; then +he hastened to repeat what he had heard to the grand-duke. + +"Would to heaven every thaler I possess were a breeding-penny!" +exclaimed the high-born gentleman. "It would make the carrying on a +war an easy matter." + +From the day it became known that Constable Hugo possessed that +never-failing treasure, a magic coin, and was in league with the +all-powerful bocksritter, he rose in the esteem of his fellows. + +Meanwhile Ehrenbreitstein and Coblentz continued under bombardment +from the Frenchmen. The enemy's fire-pots never failed to find the +grand-duke's quarters, notwithstanding the fact that he changed them +every day. This at last became so annoying that treason began to be +suspected, and the duke offered a reward for the detection of the spy +who gave the information to the enemy. That a spy was at work in the +German camp was beyond question, though the outlets of both cities +were so closely guarded that it would have been impossible for a +living mortal to pass through them. Nor could the treason have been +committed by means of carrier-pigeons, for, whatever of domestic +fowl-kind had been in the cities had long since been devoured by the +hungry citizens. The mayor, ever on the alert for transgressors, had +his suspicions as to who might be the spy. Every man but one in the +beleaguered cities fasted, lamented, prayed, cursed, wept, as the case +might be, save this one man, who remained constantly cheerful, +smiling, well-fed. + +When one of the Frenchmen's fiery monsters came hissing and spitting +into the fortress this one man, instead of taking to his heels and +seeking the shelter of a cellar, as did the rest of his comrades, +would coolly wait until the fire-pot fell to the ground, and, if it +failed to burst he would dig it out of the earth into which it had +bored itself and carry it to the foundry. + +Surely this was more than foolhardiness! + +The constable always opened the enemy's unexploded fire-pots in his +subterranean work-room; refilled them there, then hurled them back +without delay. There was something more than amusement behind this. + +One day, when Hugo came up from his subterranean workroom, he +encountered the mayor, who said to him: + +"Stay, constable, I want to see what you put into that fire-pot--open +it." + +Without a moment's hesitation Hugo unscrewed the lid and revealed the +explosives wrapped in coarse linen; at the same time he explained how +much gunpowder, hazel-wood charcoal, sulphur, resin, pitch, +sal-ammoniac, borax and acetate of lead were necessary to make up the +amount of unquenchable fire required for the bomb. + +"Very good," quoth the city functionary, "but what beside these is +there in the bottom of the pot?" + +"Under this earthen plate, your honor, is more gunpowder. When the +explosives on top are burnt out this plate, which has become red-hot, +explodes the powder and bursts the bomb--that is the whole secret of +the infernal machine." + +"I should like to see what is under the earthen plate." + +As the mayor spoke these words the constable gave a sudden glance over +his shoulder. In the glance was expressed all the temerity of the +adventurer, mingled with rage, determination and alarm. But only for +an instant. The mayor's bailiffs surrounded him, closing every avenue +of escape. Then he burst into a loud laugh, shrugged his shoulders, +and said: + +"Very well, your honor, see for yourself what is under the earthen +plate." + +The mayor forced open with the blade of his pocket-knife the earthen +plate. There was no powder in the bottom of the bomb, only some +ordinary sand; but in it was concealed a folded paper that contained a +minute description of the situation in the German camp. + +"Bind him in chains!" exclaimed the mayor in a triumphant voice. "At +last we have the proofs of your treachery, knave! I'll give you a +pretty Rieke! I'll serve up a fat goose for you!" + +Hugo continued to laugh while the bailiffs were placing the fetters on +his hands and feet. + +As if to complete the evidence against him, there came hissing at that +moment a fire-pot from the French camp. When it was opened and the +earthen plate removed it was found to contain two hundred Albert +thalers! + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE TRIAL. + + +[Illustration: Pointing Finger] + +The hand with the two lines under it signifies, in the court records +(for the sake of brevity), that at this point in the trial, the chief +of the tribunal gave the signal to the executioner for another turn of +the wheel. When this had been done, the notary would take down the +confession until the prisoner on the rack would cry out: + +"Have mercy!--compassion!" + +The prince was seated at a separate table, on a black-draped +throne-like arm-chair with a canopy. + +The mayor occupied the inquisitor's chair. + +First question addressed to the accused: + +"What is your name?" + +"My name, in Podolia, is 'Jaroslav Tergusko;' in Zbarasz it is 'Zdenko +Kohaninsky;' in Odessa it is 'Frater Hilarius;' in Hamburg, 'Elias +Junker;' in Münster it is 'William Stramm;' in Amsterdam, 'Mynheer +Tobias van der Bullen;' in Singapore, 'Maharajah Kong;' on the high +seas, 'Captain Rouge;' in The Hague, it is 'Ritter Malchus;' in Lille, +'Chevalier de Mont Olympe;' in Pfalz, 'Doctor Sarepta;' here, I am +called 'Hugo von Habernik.' + +"Have you any more names?" inquired the chair. + +At this question everybody began to laugh--the prince, the judges, the +prisoner, even the skull on the table. The chair alone remained grim +and dignified. + +"I can't remember any more of my names," was the prisoner's reply. + + +[Illustration: Pointing Finger] + +SECOND QUESTION: + +"What is your religion?" + +"I was born an Augsburg Confession heretic. When I went to Cracow I +became a Socinian; in the Ukraine I joined the Greek church; afterward +I became an orthodox Catholic; later, a Rosicrucian; then a Quaker. I +have also professed the faith of Brahma; and once I was a member of +the community of Atheists and devil-worshipping Manichees, called also +Cainists." + +"A fine array, truly!" commented the chair, as the notary entered the +list in the register. + + +[Illustration: Pointing Finger] + +THIRD QUESTION: + +"What is your occupation, prisoner?" + +"I have been ensign; prisoner; slave; robber-chief; parasite; ducal +grand-steward; mendicant friar; recruiting sergeant; sacristan; +knight; shell-fish dealer; stock-jobber; ship-captain; viceroy; +pirate; teacher; knacker's assistant; conjuror; bocksritter; hangman; +pikeman; quack-doctor; prophet; constable--" + +"Stop! Stop!" interrupted the chair. "The notary cannot keep up with +you." + +Again the court-room resounded with laughter; the prisoner on the +rack, as well as the skull on the table, again joined in the +merriment. Everybody seemed in a good humor--that is, everybody but +the mayor. He alone was grave. + +After the signal to the executioner the fourth question followed: + +"Of what crimes are you guilty?" + +(For the purpose of greater perspicuity the chair dictated to the +recording secretary the Latin nomenclature of the crimes confessed.) + +Prisoners: "I was a member of a band of robbers and incendiaries." + +"_Primo, latrocinium_," dictated the chair. + +Prisoner: "I won the affections of my benefactor's wife." + +Chair: "_Secundo, adulterium._" + +Prisoner: "I robbed a church." + +Chair: "_Tertio, sacrilegium._" + +Prisoner: "I masqueraded as a nobleman under a false name." + +Chair: "_Quarto, larvatus._" + +Prisoner: "I committed a forgery." + +Chair: "_Quinto, falsorium._" + +Prisoner: "I killed my friend in a duel." + +Chair: "_Sexto, homicidium ex duello._" + +Prisoner: "I cheated my partners in business." + +Chair: "_Septimo, stellionatus._" + +Prisoner: "I betrayed state secrets confided to me." + +Chair: "_Octavo, felonia._" + +Prisoner: "I used for my own purpose money belonging to others." + +Chair: "_Nono, barattaria._" + +Prisoner: "I worshipped idols." + +Chair: "_Decimo, idololatria._" + +Prisoner: "I married a second wife while the first was still living." + +Chair: "_Undecimo, bigamia._" + +Prisoner: "I also took a third, fourth, fifth and sixth wife." + +Chair: "_Eodem numero trigamia, polygamia._" + +Prisoner: "I murdered a king." + +Chair: "_Decimo secundo, regicidium._" + +Prisoner: "I have been a pirate." + +Chair: "_Decimo tertia, pirateria._" + +Prisoner: "I killed my first wife." + +Chair: "_Decimo quarto, uxoricidium._" + +Prisoner: "I practiced conjuring." + +Chair: "_Decimo quinto, sorcellaria._" + +Prisoner: "I have been in league with Satan." + +Chair: "_Decimo sexto, pactum diabolicum implicitum._" + +Prisoner: "I have coined base money." + +Chair: "_Decimo septimo, adulterator monetarium._" + +Prisoner: "I preached a new faith." + +Chair: "_Decimo octavo, hćresis schisma._" + +Prisoner: "I have been a quack doctor." + +Chair: "_Decimo nono, veneficus._" + +Prisoner: "I betrayed a fortress intrusted to my guardianship." + +Chair: "_Vigesimo, crimen traditorum._" + +Prisoner: "I have eaten human flesh." + +Chair: "_Vigesimo primo, anthropophagia. Cannibalismus!_" cried the +mayor in a loud tone, bringing his fist with considerable force down +on the pandects lying before him on the table. The perspiration was +rolling in great beads over his forehead. + +The prisoner on the rack laughed heartily; but this time no one +laughed with him. The executioner had mistaken the chief's wink for a +signal to turn the wheel, which he did, and the sound which came from +the victim's throat was a strange mixture of merriment and agony--as +if he were being tickled and strangled at the same moment. + +What the chief's dictation was really intended to signify was that the +proceedings were concluded for the day; that the accused should be +released from the rack and taken back to his dungeon. + +It was a most unusual case--unique in the annals of the criminal +court. Never before had a prisoner acknowledged himself guilty of, or +accessory to, so many crimes. It was the first time such a combination +of misdemeanors had come before the tribunal. The accused would +certainly have to be tried without mercy; no extenuating circumstances +would be allowed to interfere with justice. + +The prince was extremely interested in the case. He was curious to +learn the coherence between the individual transgressions, in what +manner one led to the other, and gave orders that the trial should not +be resumed the next day until he should arrive in court. + +The prisoner had cause for laughter. Before his confession reached its +conclusion, before he could relate the history of his one-and-twenty +crimes, the Frenchmen would capture Coblentz and release him from +imprisonment and death. + +But one may laugh too soon! + +What was to be done with this fellow? + +That the death penalty was his just desert was unquestionable; but in +what manner should it be imposed? Had he confessed only the crime for +which he was now under arrest--treason--the matter might be settled +easily enough: he would be shot in the back. But with so many +transgressions to complicate the matter it was going to be difficult +exceedingly to pronounce judgment. + +For instance: the wheel is the punishment for robbery; the polygamist +must be divided into as many portions as he has wives; the regicide +must be torn asunder by four horses. But how are you going to carry +out the last penalty if the accused has already been carved into six +portions? Also, it is decreed that the right hand of a forger be cut +off; the servitor of Satan must suffer death by fire. But if the +accused has been consumed by flames, how will it be possible to bray +him to pulp in a mortar for having committed uxoricide? or, how carry +out the commands of the law which prescribes death by starvation for +the wretch who is guilty of cannibalism? + +After much deliberation the prince, with the wisdom of a Solomon, +decided as follows: + +"The prisoner, who is arraigned at the bar for treason, having +confessed to twenty-one other transgressions, shall relate to the +court a detailed account of each individual crime, after which he +shall be sentenced according to the crime or crimes found by the +judges to be the most heinous." + +This decision was perfectly satisfactory to the mayor; and the judges +gave it as their opinion that, as the accused would require all his +strength for so prolonged an examination, it would be advisable to +substitute the torture by water for that of the rack, as was first +decided. + +"No! no!" objected the prince. "The man who is forced to drink nothing +but water is not in the mood to relate adventures (I know that by +experience!) Let the prisoner be subjected to mental torture. Sentence +him at once to death, and when he is not before the tribunal let him +be shut up in the death-cell. The hours spent in that gloomy hole are +a torture sufficient to bring any criminal, however hardened he may +have become, to repentance. Besides, it will be a saving of expense to +the city. The curious citizens, who like to gape at a condemned +prisoner, will, out of compassion, supply this one also with food and +drink. When he has eaten and drunk his fill, we will have him brought +to the court-room. The man who has had all he wants to eat and drink +is talkative!" + +The judges concurred with his highness; but the mayor growled in a +dissatisfied tone: + +"This knave, who confesses to having committed twenty-one crimes in +addition to the treachery in which we detected him, will, by the +decision of his highness, fare better than his judges, who have +learned during the siege what it is to hunger and thirst." + +To which the syndic responded consolingly: + +"Never mind, god-father! Let the poor wretch gormandize between the +rack and the gallows. Remember the old saw: 'Today, I--tomorrow, +you.'" + + + + +PART II. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +WITH THE ROBBERS--THE PRSJAKA CAVES. + + +I was ensign in a regiment under command of General Melchior Hatzfeld +of the imperial forces. (Thus Hugo began his confession the next day +when he had been brought to the court-room from the death-cell.) My +conduct at that time was exemplary; I acquired so much skill in +handling fire-arms that, at the siege of Cracow, I was advanced to the +position of chief gunner of a battery. + +Cracow at that time was in the hands of George Rákóczy, prince of +Transylvania, who had leagued with Sweden to subdue Poland; and he +would most likely have succeeded had not the imperial army come to the +assistance of the Poles. + +I shall not dwell long on the siege of Cracow lest I awake in the +minds of the honorable gentlemen of the court a suspicion that, by +relating incidents not immediately connected with my transgressions, I +am purposely prolonging my recital. I shall therefore speak only of +those occurrences which it will be necessary to mention in order to +explain why I committed the crimes of which I am guilty. While with +the army before Cracow I made the acquaintance of the daughter of a +Polish noble. The young lady, who took a great fancy to me--I wasn't a +bad-looking youth in those days, your honors--was a charming creature +of sixteen years, with the most beautiful black eyes. If I remember +rightly her name was Marinka. She taught me how to speak her +language--and something else, too: how to love--the fatal passion +which has all my life been the cause of much of my trouble. + +During the siege my general frequently sent me to reconnoiter among +the Hungarian camps; and as I was a fearless youth, I would venture to +the very gates of the manor-houses in the neighborhood of Cracow. At +one of these houses I met my sweetheart; and after that, you may +guess, honored sirs, that it was not for the general's "yellow boys" +alone I risked my neck night after night. No, my little Marinka's +sparkling eyes were as alluring as the gold pieces; and I knew when I +set out on my nightly tour that my sweetheart would be waiting for me +at the gates of her father's place. But our secret meetings were at +last discovered. There was an old witch of a housekeeper who ferreted +out her young mistress' secret, and informed the old noble. One +moonlight night Marinka was teaching me in her own little cozy chamber +how to say: "_Kocham pana z calego zersa_"--which is "Mistress, I love +you with my whole heart,"--when we heard her father's heavy footsteps +ascending the staircase. I tell you I was frightened and said to +myself, "This is the end of you, my lad!" but Marinka whispered in my +ear: + +"_Nebojsa!_ (don't be afraid), go into the corridor, walk boldly +toward my father, and to whatever he may say to you, do you reply 'God +is One.'" + +Then she softly opened the door, pushed me into the corridor, closed +and locked the door behind me. The old gentleman was coming up the +stairs very slowly because of a lame leg which he had to drag after +him step by step. He had a square red face which I could see only +indistinctly above the burning lunt he carried in one hand, blowing it +continually to prevent it from going out. In the other hand he held a +musket. The blazing lunt must have blinded him, for he did not see me +until the muzzle of the musket came in contact with my breast. Then he +stopped and cried in a stern voice: + +"_Kto tam? Stoj!_" (Who are you? Stand!) + +"God is One," I made answer. What else could I have said? The old +gentleman's aggressive mien changed at once. He became quite friendly; +he extinguished the lunt by stamping on it with his foot, tapped my +shoulder in a confidential manner and called me little brother. Then +taking me by the arm he led me down the stairs to a room where a huge +fire was blazing on the hearth. Here he bade me seat myself on a +settee covered with a bear skin and placed before me an English flagon +of spirits. After he had arranged everything for my comfort he fetched +from a secret cupboard a small book--it was so small I could have +hidden it in the leg of my boot--and began to read to me all manner of +heretical phrases such as "There is no need for a Holy Trinity, +because the little which is done on earth in the name of God can +easily be done by One alone." + +My hair stood on end as I listened to the sinful words and I found +what a trap I had fallen into. My Marinka's father was a Socinian, a +leader of the heretical sect, and he was trying to make a proselyte of +me. + +The doctrines of Blandrata had spread extensively throughout Poland, +but, owing to the persecution of its adherents, they could meet and +work only in secret. The old noble's manor was one of their retreats, +where recent converts were received for instruction. When the old +gentleman believed he had enlightened me sufficiently he produced a +heavy volume, bade me lay my right hand on it and repeat after him the +vows of the society. + +You may believe I was in a dilemma! + +If I refused to repeat the vows I should have to confess that I had +come to the manor for Marinka's sake, then the old noble would fetch +his musket and send me straightway to paradise. If, on the other hand, +I repeated the vows, then I was sure to journey to hades. Which was I +to choose? + +Should I elect to travel by extra-post, direct, without stopping, into +the kingdom of heaven, or should I journey leisurely by a circuitous +route, with frequent halts, to hades? + +I was a mere lad; I was sorry for my pretty curly head--I chose the +latter alternative! + +From that time I became a daily visitor in the retreat of the +followers of Socinus. Being a neophyte I was permitted to take part in +their meetings only during the singing; when the sermon began I was +sent to the gates to guard against a surprise. This was a welcome +duty; for, once outside the house, all thought of taking up my station +at the gates would leave me and, instead, I would climb the tree which +grew close to my Marinka's window, swing myself by a branch into her +room, in which she was kept a prisoner by her father to prevent our +meeting; and there, while the sages below-stairs expounded the dogma +of the unity of God, we two ignorant young people demonstrated how two +human hearts can become as one. + +One day our little community received an unexpected addition to its +membership. There arrived from Cracow a troop of Hungarian soldiers +who announced themselves as followers of Socinus. They received a +hospitable welcome from the old noble, whom they overwhelmed with joy +by telling him the prince of Transylvania had become an adherent of +Socinus; that his highness had averred that, were he the King of +Poland, all persecution of the heretics should cease at once and that +some of the churches should be given over to them for their worship. + +When I repeated this piece of news to my general he became so excited +he sprang from his seat--his head almost struck the roof of the +tent--and shouted: "It is perfectly outrageous how those Hungarians +will stoop to base methods in order to win allies! If they succeed in +inveigling the Polish Socinians to their ranks then we may as well +stop trying to get them out of Poland!" + +Fortunately, however, there arose dissensions between the Hungarian +and the Polish adherents of Socinus. I must mention here, in order to +explain how I became cognizant of the facts I am about to relate, that +Marinka's father had begun to suspect me. Instead of sending me to +stand guard at the gates when the sermon began, I was permitted to +hear it and take part in the disputations. + +The Hungarian troopers maintained that it was the duty of all pious +Socinians to commemorate, at every one of their meetings, the death of +the Savior by drinking wine; and they were so extremely devout that an +entire quarter-cask of their host's best Tokay was emptied at every +celebration. After the meetings, when the old noble would lift and +shake the empty wine-cask, I could read in his countenance signs that +heterodoxy was gradually taking root in him. At first he contented +himself with remonstrating against the frequency of the celebration; +surely it ought to satisfy the most devout member of the sect to +observe the ceremony on Sundays, and holy days. But the troopers met +his arguments with scriptural authority for their practices. + +Then the old gentleman, finding his remonstrances of no avail, made an +assault upon the dogma itself. He delivered an impassioned address in +which he sought to disprove the divinity of Jesus. To this blasphemous +assertion the Magyars made reply: + +"If what you say be true, then He was the son of an honest man, and a +good man Himself. Therefore, it is meet and right for us to show Him +all honor and respect." And another quarter-cask was brought from the +cellar. The old noble became daily more fanatical in his assaults upon +the tenets to which he had so devoutly adhered before the accession to +his little congregation of the Hungarian troopers; and, at last +declared that Jesus was a Jew; that He deserved to be put to death, +because He had promulgated the unjust law of taxation. But not even +this fearful blasphemy deterred the Hungarians from their frequent +celebrations. They said: + +"If the Nazarene is so unworthy, then it is our plain duty to shed His +blood, the symbol of which is wine--" + +"Tremendously clever fellows, those Magyars!" here interrupted the +prince. + +"They were impious devils!" exclaimed the mayor reprovingly. "Impious +devils!" + +"_Habet rectum_," responded his highness. Then to the prisoner: +"Continue, my son." + +Hugo resumed his confession: + +When the last cask was brought from the cellar the old noble declared +to his congregation that the entire story of the Divine birth was a +myth invented by the priests-- + +"And you took part in those blasphemous meetings?" sternly interrupted +the mayor. + +No, indeed, your honor! That is a crime of which I am guiltless. I +never said one word; and escaped from the meetings whenever I could +manage to do so. I had determined to flee with Marinka from the sinful +community. Our plan was: I was to steal from the meeting on a certain +night, assist my pretty Marinka to descend from her room by means of +the tree outside her window and then set fire to the sheep-stables. +The conflagration would scatter the blasphemers; everybody would run +to the stables to release the horses, and in the general confusion +Marinka would hastily secure as many of the family jewels as could be +packed into a portmanteau. Then she and I would mount two of the freed +horses and gallop straightway to my camp, where I would introduce her +as my wife-- + +"A pious idea, certainly," commented the prince. + +"How can your highness say so!" in a tone of reproof, exclaimed the +mayor. "It was incendiarism pure and simple: _Incendiarii ambitiosi +comburantur_; and further: _raptus decem juvencis puniatur_, and +_rapina palu affigatur_." + +"Very well, then," assented his highness. "My son, for the +incendiarism you shall be burned at the stake; for the rape of the +maid you shall pay a fine of ten calves; for the theft of the jewels, +the punishment is impalement. Continue." + +Unfortunately, resumed the prisoner, our plans miscarried, through the +intermeddling of the old housekeeper I spoke of. Her suspicions had +been aroused by Marinka's preparations for flight; she informed the +old noble, who set spies to watch me. I was caught in the act of +firing the stables and was flogged with hazel rods until I confessed +that I was a spy from the enemy's camp. The old noble wanted to bind +me to the well-sweep; but one of the Hungarian troopers took +compassion on me and offered to buy me for sixteen Polish groschen. +His offer was accepted; I was sold to him and taken to Cracow. I +should not have had such a hard time as a slave had I not been +compelled to grind all the pepper used in the Hungarian army. I ground +enormous quantities, for the Magyars like all their food strongly +seasoned with the condiment. My eyes were red constantly; my nose was +swollen to the size of a cucumber. The only other complaint I had to +make was that my master compelled me to eat everything that was set +before me. He would say, when he placed before me enough for three +men: + +"You shall not be able to say that you hungered while you were my +slave." + +When I had eaten until I could not swallow another morsel, my master +would seize me by the shoulders, shake me as one shakes a full bag in +order to get more into it, and he would repeat the operation until the +contents of every dish had been emptied into me. I used to sicken at +the approach of meal-times, and whenever I saw the huge spoon--twice +the size of my mouth--with which the food was ladled into me. Your +honors will hardly believe that there is no greater torture than to be +stuffed with food-- + +"We have never tried that method," remarked the prince. + +"Nor are we likely to test it very soon," supplemented the mayor, with +a grim expression on his countenance. + +I yearned to be released from my unpleasant situation, resumed the +prisoner. For the first time I realized the enormity of the +transgression I had committed in joining the Socinian Community. Now +I had no one to intercede for me with the Supreme Ruler of the earth. +Had I become a Mussulman I should have had Mohammed; had I adopted the +Jewish faith I should have been able to call to my aid Abraham, or +some one of the other fathers in Israel. But I had no one. However, my +desire to be released from the tortures of food-stuffing and +pepper-grinding was at last fulfilled; I was captured, together with +the entire Hungarian army, by the Tartars-- + +"Hold! hold!" interrupted the chair. "You must not tell untruths. You +forget that you were in Poland. The Tartars could not have fallen from +the sky." + +I was about to explain how they came to be at Cracow when your honor +interrupted me. It was this way: His Majesty, the Sultan of Turkey, +who had become angry because his vassal, George Rákóczy, prince of +Transylvania, had presumed to aspire to the crown of Poland, had +commanded the khan of Crim-Tartary to attack the Hungarians with +100,000 cavalry. The khan obeyed. He devastated Transylvania in his +march, surrounded the Hungarian army in Poland and captured every man +jack of them-- + +"The explanation is satisfactory," enunciated the prince. "It was easy +enough for the Tartars to appear at Cracow." + +Yes, your highness; but I wish they hadn't, continued the accused. No +one regretted it more bitterly than did I. After the capture of the +Transylvanian army by the Tartars the victors divided the spoils as +follows: The commanding officers took possession of all the valuables; +the under-officers took the prisoners' horses; the captives +themselves were sold to the common soldiers, each of whom bought as +many slaves as he had money to spare. + +My former master was sold for five groschen; my broad shoulders +brought a higher price--nine groschen. The same Tartar--an ugly, +filthy little rascal for whom I would not have paid two +groschen--bought my master and me. + +The first thing our Tartar master did was to strip us of our good +clothes and put on us his own rags. He couldn't talk to us, as we did +not understand his language; but he managed in a very clever manner to +convey his meaning to us. He examined the material of which our shirts +were made--the Hungarian's was of fine, mine of coarse homespun linen, +and concluded that one of us was a man of means--the other a poor +devil. + +Then he took from his purse a gold coin, held it in his open palm +toward the Hungarian, while with the other hand he hung a rope of +horse-hair around his captive's neck. Then he closed his fingers over +the coin, opened them again, at the same time drawing the rope more +tightly about the captive's neck. + +This pantomime signified: "How many coins like this gold one will your +friends pay to ransom you?" + +The Hungarian closed and opened his fist ten times to indicate "one +hundred." + +The Tartar brought his teeth together, which was meant to say, "not +enough." + +Then the Hungarian indicated as before, "two hundred," whereupon the +Tartar placed the end of the rope in the captive's hand--he was +satisfied with the ransom. Then came my turn. How much ransom would be +paid for me? I shook my head to indicate "nothing;" but in Tartary, to +shake one's head means consent. The little fellow smiled, and wanted +to know "how much?" + +Not knowing how else to express my meaning, I spat in his palm, which +he understood. He put the gold coin back into his purse, took out a +silver one and held it toward me. I treated it as I had the gold coin. +Then he produced a copper coin; but I indicated with such emphasis +that not even so small a sum would be paid for me that he raised his +whip and gave me a sound cut over the shoulders. The Tartars then set +out on their return to Tartary. My former master and I were bound +together and driven on foot in front of our owner. + +How forcibly my sainted grandmother's words, "He that reviles his +Savior will be turned into an ass," came home to me when I was given +dried beans to eat--the sort we feed to asses at home. Dried beans +every meal, and my Tartar master did not think it necessary to stuff +into me what I could not eat. What were left at one meal were served +up again the next. Still more forcibly were my grandam's words +impressed on my mind when, the fifth day of our journey, I became a +veritable beast of burden. My Hungarian yoke-fellow declared his feet +were so sore he could go no farther. His was certainly a weighty body +to drag over the rough roads, especially as he had never been +accustomed to travel on foot _per pedes apostolorum_. The little +Tartar became alarmed; he feared he might lose the ransom if he left +his rich captive behind, so he alighted from his horse, examined the +Hungarian's feet and ordered him to get into the saddle. Then my feet +were examined, and I imagined I too was to be given a mount. But I was +mistaken. Before I could guess what he intended the little Tartar was +seated astride my shoulders, with his feet crossed over my breast, and +his hands clutching my hair for reins. + +Luckily for me it was a lean little snips, not much heavier than the +soldier's knapsack I was accustomed to carrying. It would have been +worse had the Hungarian been saddled on my shoulders. That gentleman +was greatly amused by the turn affairs had taken, and from his seat on +our master's horse made all manner of fun of me. + +He ridiculed my prayers, said they were of no avail where the enemy +was concerned; that a hearty curse would give me more relief. I tell +you he was a master of malediction! There was an imprecation he used +to repeat so often that I remember it to this hour. I will repeat it +for you--it is in that fearful Magyar lingo: "_Tarka kutya tarka +magasra kutyorodott kaeskaringós farka!_"[3] + +[Footnote 3: The imprecation is really quite harmless, as are many +other of the dreadful things attributed to the Magyars. It is, +literally: "The spotted dog's straight upright spotted +tail."--Translator's observation.] + +"Hold!" commanded the prince. "That sounds like an incantation." + +"Like 'abraxas,' or 'ablanathanalba,'" added the mayor, shuddering. +"We must make a note of it; the court astronomer may, with the +assistance of the professors, be able to tell us its portent." + +When the notary had taken down the imprecation, his highness, the +prince, said to the prisoner: + +"Continue, my son. How long were you compelled to remain in that +deplorable condition of slavery?" + +One day, resumed the accused, while I was fervently praying that +heaven, or Satan, would relieve me from my ignominious situation, we +turned into an oak forest. We had hardly got well into it, when, with +a fearful noise, as if heaven and earth were crashing together, the +huge trees came toppling over on us, burying the entire vanguard of +the Tartar horde, together with their captives, under the trunks and +branches. + +Every one of the trees in the forest had been sawn clear through the +trunk, but left standing upright, thus forming a horrible trap for the +Tartars. The first tree that toppled over, of course, threw over the +one against which it fell, that one in turn throwing over the next +one, and so on until the entire wood was laid low. + +My Tartar rider and I were crushed to the earth by the same tree. It +was fortunate for me that I had him on my back, for he received the +full force of the falling tree; his head was crushed, while mine was +so firmly wedged between his knees I couldn't move. The horrible noise +and confusion robbed me of my senses; I became unconscious. It is, +therefore, impossible for me to tell how I escaped with my life. I +only know that when I came to my senses I found myself in the camp of +the "Haidemaken," a company of thieves and murderers, made up of all +nationalities, the worst of all the robber bands that infested the +country. The members were the outcasts of every land--the flower of +the gallows. When inflamed with wine, they fought each other with +axes; settled all disputes with knife and club. He who had become +notorious for the worst crimes was welcomed to their ranks; the +boldest, the most reckless dare-devil, became their leader. They would +release condemned criminals, often appearing as if sprung from the +earth at the place of execution, bear away the miscreants, who, +naturally, became members of the band. + +Was a pretty woman condemned to the stake for violation of the +marriage vow or for witchcraft, the haidemaken would be on hand before +the match was applied to the faggots, and bear away the fair culprit. +In a word, the haidemaken were the hope, the comfort, the providence +of every miscreant that trembled in shackles. + +The band claimed no country as fatherland. Every wilderness, every +savage ravine, from the Matra mountains to the Volga, offered them a +secure retreat. They knew no laws save the commands of their leader, +which were obeyed to the letter. None kept for himself his stealings; +all booty was delivered into the hands of the leader, who divided it +equally among the members of the band. + +To him who, through special valor, deserved special reward, was given +the prettiest woman rescued from the stake, the dungeon, the rack. + +Where the haidemaken set up their camp, the Roman king, the prince of +Transylvania, the Wallachian woiwode, the king of Poland, the hetman +of the Cossacks, ruled only in name. The leader of the robbers alone +was the law-giver; he alone levied taxes, exacted duties. + +The trading caravans passing from Turkey to Warsaw, if they were wise, +paid without a murmur the duty levied by the haidemaken, who would +then give the traders safe conduct through all the dangerous forests, +over suspicious mountain passes, so that not a hair of their heads +would be hurt or a coin in their purses touched. + +If, on the other hand, the caravan leaders were unwise, they would +employ a military escort. Then, woe to them! The robbers would lure +them into ambush, scatter the soldiers and plunder the caravan. He who +resisted would be put to death. + +There was constant war between certain nobles and the robbers. If the +band, however, could be brought to seal a compact of peace with an +individual or a community, it was kept sacred, inviolable, as we shall +see later. + +The haidemaken never entered a church unless they desired to secure +the treasures it contained. Yet, they numbered several priests among +their ranks. They were such as had been excommunicated for some +transgression. + +The band never set out on a predatory expedition without first +celebrating mass, and receiving a blessing from one of these +renegados. If the expedition proved to be successful, the priest would +share the spoils, and dance with the robbers to celebrate the +victory. + +When one of the band took unto himself a wife, a renegado would +perform the marriage ceremony. The haidemaken were as great sticklers +for form as are the members of good society. To abduct a maid, or a +woman, was not considered a crime; but for one member to run away with +the wife of another was strictly prohibited. + +They did not erect strongholds, for they knew where to hide in +mountain caverns and in morasses, from which no human power could +drive them. + +In their various retreats they had stores of food, enough to stand a +siege for many months. How great was their daring is best illustrated +by the plot which threw me into their power. The prince of +Transylvania had invaded Poland with an army of 20,000 men. This army +was captured by the Tartar khan with his 80,000 men. Four hundred of +the robbers laid in wait for this combined force, and slaughtered the +vanguard of 2,000 men in the oak forest, as I have described. + +When I opened my eyes after the catastrophe, I was lying on a bundle +of faggots on the bank of a purling brook. By my side stood a gigantic +fellow, with a hideous red face--compared to him the Herr Mayor, +there, is a very St. Martin!--his beard and eyebrows were also red, +but of a lighter shade. His nose was cleft lengthwise--a sign that he +had had to do with the Russian administration of justice. He had the +muscles of a St. Christopher. + +At a little distance apart stood a group of similar figures, but none +was so repulsive in appearance as the giant by my side. He was +leaning on his sword, looking down at me, and when he saw my eyes open +he said, or rather bellowed, for his voice was more like the sound +that comes from the throat of a bull: + +"Well, young fellow, are you alive? Can you get up on your knees? If +so, swear that you will join our band, or I'll fling you out yonder +whence I brought you, to perish with the rest of your comrades." + +I had heard many fearful tales of the dreaded haidemaken, and knew +them to be capable of any atrocity. Moreover, I was indifferent as to +what became of me, so I said I would join the band if my life were +spared. + +"What are you?" then asked the red one, who was the leader of the +band, "peasant or noble?" + +I was not lying when I answered that I was as poor a devil as ever +caught flies to satisfy a craving for food. + +"That is well," returned the leader, "we have no use for nobles in our +ranks. You shall stand the test at once." He blew a whistle, and two +sturdy ruffians dragged from a cave nearby the loveliest maid I had +ever set eyes on. Her complexion was of milk and roses; every virtue +beamed in her gentle countenance. I can see her now, with her golden +hair falling to her ankles--and she was very tall for a woman. + +"Now lad," continued the leader, "we shall see how you stand the test. +You are to cut off this maid's head. She is the daughter of a noble, +whom we stole for a ransom; and, as her people have seen fit to ignore +our demands, she must die. Here, take this sword, and do as you are +bid." + +He handed me his sword, which was so heavy I could lift it only by +grasping it with both hands. + +The maid knelt in the grass at my feet, bent meekly forward, and +parted her beautiful hair at the back of her snowy neck, so that I +might the more easily strike the fatal blow. + +But I didn't do anything of the sort! + +Instead, I flung the sword at the feet of the leader and cried: + +"Go to perdition, you red devil! You may devour me alive--I won't harm +a hair of this pretty child's head." + +"Ho-ho," bellowed the red one, "you have betrayed yourself, my lad! +Were you a peasant you would cut off the girl's head rather than lose +your own. You are a noble--you would rather die yourself than harm a +woman. Very well; so be it! On your knees! The maid will show you how +to cut off a head at one blow. She is my own daughter." + +He handed the sword to the maid, who had risen to her feet and was +laughing at me. She took the heavy weapon in one hand and swung it as +lightly as if it had been a hazel rod, several times about her head. I +have always been fortunate enough to be able to command my feelings, +no matter what the situation; no matter how extreme the danger, I +never allow myself to yield to fear. + +I looked at the wonderful maid confronting me with mocking eyes, her +white teeth gleaming between her red lips, her beautiful hair shining +like gold. + +"Kneel!" she cried, stamping her foot. "Kneel and say your prayers." + +A faint-hearted fellow would, most likely, have lost courage; but, as +I said before, I had never made the acquaintance of fear. So I +laughed, and said: "I am not going to kneel; and I am not going to +pray. I don't want to part with my head, I have too much need of it +myself." Then I turned boldly toward her father, and addressed him: +"Captain, I want to marry your daughter," I said. "Let me serve under +you for one year, and, if at the end of that time I have not proved +myself worthy to be your son-in-law, you may cut off my head, and +welcome!" + +The robber chief received this daring speech with a grin that was like +the grimace of a hungry wolf preparing to devour a lamb. + +"Fellow, do you know what you ask?" he bellowed. "The suitor for the +hand of my daughter is tortured to death by that hand if he fails to +perform the tasks she sets for him." + +"All right!" I returned jauntily, "you needn't give yourself any +trouble about me." + +He held out his hand; I gave him mine, and the pressure it received in +the powerful grasp was so severe that the blood spurted from under the +finger-nails. But I did not betray by look or sign how badly it hurt +me. Nay, I even gave a playful pinch with the crushed fingers to the +cheek of the golden-haired maid and received from her in return a +sound slap on my hand. + +I could see that my behavior won favor in the eyes of the robbers. +But we had little time for merry-making. The main body of the Tartar +army now drew near, and we were face to face with an infuriated enemy +outnumbering our band a hundred to one. + +In face of the extreme danger which threatened, our leader remained +calm. At a signal from him, his men with lightning speed set fire in +fifty different places to the fallen trees, among which a considerable +number of the vanguard, who had not been crushed to death, were +hiding. + +Of course the poor wretches, Tartars and captives alike, were consumed +in the flames; we could hear their shrieks of agony when we were half +way up the mountain, to which we had made our escape. + +The Tartar army not being able to follow us, because of the burning +forest, made our escape easy; and, by the time the trees had been +reduced to ashes, we were far enough away, and in a place of safety. + +Instead of giving me weapons to carry, I was compelled to continue in +the role of beast of burden; a heavy bag of treasure was strapped on +my back. We marched until the next morning. The haidemaken travelled +only by night, consequently they were familiar with all roads and +mountain passes. + +When day broke we halted to rest and partake of a scanty meal. While +we were eating, the leader asked me my name, and I gave him the first +one that came into my head: "Jaroslaw Terguko," which was the name of +Marinka's father. If I couldn't steal anything else from him I could +at least steal his name? + +Late in the afternoon we set out again on our journey, which led us +over rugged paths and through savage gorges where no signs of human +life were to be seen. At last we entered a deep defile between two +mountain spurs. The walls of rock on either side seemed, with their +projections and hollows, as if they might once have been joined +together. They were nearer together at the top than at the base, and +when I looked up at the narrow strip of sky far, far above me, I had a +sensation as if the two walls were coming together. In this almost +inaccessible defile was the chief retreat of the haidemaken. It was a +stronghold that could successfully defy all human assaults. + +In the south wall, about twenty yards from the base, yawns the mouth +of a huge cavern. + +At that point the wall is so steep, and inclines forward to such a +degree, that access to the cavern cannot be gained by means of a +ladder. The robbers, however, had contrived a clever hoisting +apparatus. + +From the top of the opposite wall a mountain brook had once leaped +into the defile, to continue its way over the rocky bed into the +valley. + +When the haidemaken first established themselves in the cavern, it +happened frequently that they would be blockaded in their retreat by +the nobles and their followers, who had pursued the predatory band to +the defile. + +At such times the robbers suffered greatly from the scarcity of fresh +water, especially if they chanced to be out of wine. Therefore, they +conceived the plan of conducting the brook from the opposing wall into +the cavern through a stout oaken gutter, and the water at the same +time served to turn a series of wheels. Over one of the wheels ran a +stout iron chain, to which were securely attached several large +baskets; and so skillfully was the apparatus manipulated that the +entire band might be hoisted into, or let down from, the cavern in the +short space of two hours. It was a most admirable contrivance for the +robbers, but not so admirable for the dwellers in the valley. The +intercepted brook now flowed into the cave, and, as the water did not +fill the cave, the most natural conclusion was that it found an outlet +through various subterranean fissures. + +The turning of the water from its original channel caused Prince +Siniarsky considerable inconvenience, in that all his saw-mills, +flour-mills and leather factory were left without a motor; while the +inhabitants of the surrounding hamlets, who were dependent on their +looms for a livelihood, were compelled to remove to another region, +because they now were unable to bleach the linen. + +Still greater was the misfortune which had overtaken Count Potocky. He +was the owner of extensive salt mines on the further side of the +mountain, which contains an illimitable deposit of the saliferous +substance. The haidemaken were unable to drink the water of the +lakelet in the bottom of their cavern, because of its saline +character. + +After the course of the brook had been changed, the worthy Count +Potocky discovered one day that innumerable springs of fresh water +were bursting from his side of the mountain, and flooding his most +profitable mines. If he attempted to obstruct the flow of water in +one place it would break out in another. + +At last the two magnates discovered the cause of the mischief, and +determined to oust the thievish haidemaken from their retreat by +fumigation. So long as the band confined their depredations to the +trading caravans they might be tolerated; but, when they became +insolent enough to interfere with the comfort and convenience of the +magnates, it was high time to put a stop to their pestiferous conduct! + +And so an expedition against the cavern was planned. Before it could +be carried out the war against the Transylvanians and Swedes broke +out, and the noble gentlemen were compelled to march with their +followers toward the invaders; but when hostilities ceased and the +succoring Tartars had returned home, a formal blockade of the robbers +was constituted. + +The entrance to their cavern, which is about as large as the door of +the cathedral at Coblentz, was fortified by a double parapet furnished +with loop-holes. The intercepted brook did not pour its waters into +the main entrance, but into a side opening, underneath which was the +hoisting wheel. This wheel also turned the mill-stone, which ground +the rye used by the robbers. + +The band included a miller as well as a smith, a shoemaker and a +tailor. As it is dark in the cave, all work was performed by +torchlight. Where all the torches used in the cavern were procured I +learned afterward. + +The fore part of the cavern, into which the rays of the blessed sun +penetrate as far as the opposite wall permits, is like a vaulted hall. +In it were stored the weapons: all manner of fire-arms, all patterns +of cutting, thrusting and hurling implements, which had been purloined +from the armories of noble castles. Here, for the first time, I saw an +old-time culverin, rusty with age and for want of care. In this part +of the cavern were stored also the provisions in huge stone +receptacles--enough to feed four hundred men during a long siege. + +From the provision chamber a low, narrow passage leads to the +mill-cave, but, as I never entered it, I cannot tell you just what it +contained. + +The main cavern is spacious as a church. When the entire band were +assembled in the vast hall they were as lost in it. The arched roof is +so high above the floor it is invisible in the gloom, which not even +the light of many torches can dispel. + +From this hall numerous narrow passages and corridors lead to smaller +caves, in which the artisans of the band performed their labors. These +unfortunates certainly must have been captives; for it is hardly +possible that any man would, of his own free will, consent to pass his +life toiling in so gloomy a hole. When we arrived at the cavern the +leader asked me if I had a trade, and, as I could truthfully reply +that the only one I was perfectly familiar with was that of +bombardier, I did so. + +"Very good; you shall soon have an opportunity to prove that you +understand your trade as thoroughly as you say," he growled. "It is +not safe to boast here, my lad, and not be able to perform--as you +shall soon learn." + +Meanwhile the robbers had hoisted to the cavern the booty taken from +the Tartars. It was stored in one of the smaller chambers, into which +I merely got a glimpse, as they rolled the huge slab of granite from +the entrance, but that fleeting glance was enough to dazzle my eyes. +There were heaps on heaps of costly articles: robes, mantles, +vestments, richly embroidered with gold and precious gems, gold and +silver chalices, shrines, _ciboria_, pastoral staffs, and a host of +valuables too numerous to remember. Had the haidemaken only decided to +disband then, every one of them would have received a fortune as his +share of the plunder. + +It is not to be wondered at that such stores of gold and silver had +accumulated. The robbers never had occasion to need money. + +The provision chamber was filled with food and drink. Such quantities +of meat and bread were served that every man had all he wanted to eat, +while casks of metheglin were constantly on tap. + +The secret of this inexhaustible food supply was known only to the +leader and his daughter. No matter how much was taken from the +provision chamber, no decrease was ever noticeable. + +The first evening of our return, the successful expedition was +celebrated by a feast. After the robbers had eaten their fill, they +lighted a huge fire and danced wildly around it; and when they had +drunk all they wanted, they gathered about their leader and his +daughter, who had taken their seats on an estrade draped with purple +cloth. + +Then a pale-faced young man was dragged into the hall and placed in +front of the leader. + +I saw now that a sort of trial was about to be held, a singular +tribunal, where the judge and the jury first get tipsy! + +"Jurko," said the leader to the youth, "you are accused of +cowardice--of having run away at the approach of the enemy; also, of +having neglected to give warning of the coming of the Tartars." + +"I am not guilty," responded the youth in defence. "You placed me on +guard to watch for the Tartars. Instead of the Tartars came wolves. +Ten of the beasts attacked me--maybe there were fifty. If I had +allowed the wolves to eat me, how could I have signaled to you? I +didn't run away--I hid in a hollow tree to defend myself--one against +fifty! I call that brave, not cowardly." + +"Silly chatter!" bellowed the leader. "No matter what happened, you +should have obeyed the command of your leader. If you are not the +coward you are accused of being, then prove it by standing the test." + +"That I will!" cried the youth, striking his breast with his fist. + +The leader rose, took his daughter's hand, stepped down from the +estrade, and, bidding his comrades follow, moved with the maid toward +the rear of the cavern, which, until now, had been buried in midnight +gloom. + +Here the ground slopes steeply downward, and I could see by the light +of the torches that we were on the verge of an abyss, at the bottom of +which was water. + +The leader held a wisp of straw to a torch, then tossed it into the +abyss, which was lighted for a few seconds by the circling wreath of +blazing straw; but it was quite long enough for me to see the terrible +grandeur of the yawning gulf. + +After tossing the straw into the abyss, the leader snatched the red +and yellow striped silken kerchief from his daughter's neck, leaving +the lovely snow-white shoulders and bosom uncovered, and flung it also +into the abyss. + +"There, Jurko," he cried, "you have often boasted that you are the +bravest of our band, and you have aspired to the hand of my daughter +Madus. If you are what you pretend to be, fetch the bride's kerchief +from the lake down yonder." + +The youth stepped boldly enough to the rim of the yawning gulf, and +every one believed he was going to dive into it. But he halted on the +edge, leaned forward and peered down at the water far below. After a +moment's survey, he drew back, rubbed his ear with his fingers and +made a wry face. + +"Why don't you jump?" cried his comrades, tauntingly. + +Jurko cautiously thrust one leg over the edge, bent forward and took +another look; then he drew back his leg and rose to his feet. + +"The devil may jump into this hell for me!" he exclaimed; "there's no +getting out of it again for him who is fool enough to enter it!" + +"Ho, coward! coward!" derisively shouted his comrades, rushing upon +him. They disarmed him and dragged him by the hair toward a cleft in +the wall of the cavern, wide enough only to admit the body of a man. +This opening was closed by a block of granite that required the +combined strength of six men to move it. A lighted candle was placed +in the trembling youth's hand; then he was thrust into the rock-tomb, +and the granite door moved back to its place. The wild laughter of his +comrades drowned the shrieks of the victim who had been buried alive. + +Then followed the "dance of death," and I never witnessed anything +more terrifying. The lovely Madus feigned death and looked it, too! +and every member had to dance a turn with her. When it came my turn, +the leader said to me: + +"Hold, lad, you may not dance with Madus until you have become really +one of us--until you have stood the test. Moreover, you, too, presume +to aspire to the hand of my daughter." + +"Yes, I do!" I replied, "and I will do whatever I am bid." + +"Very good; the bride's kerchief lies down yonder in the lake; let us +see if you are courageous enough to go after it." + +"You surely did not undertake so foolhardy a task?" here interrupted +the prince; and the chair dictated to the notary as follows: + +"Sinful tempting of providence, prompted by criminal desire for an +impure female." + +"Yes, your highness, I performed the task," continued Hugo, "but I beg +your honors not to register the leap as an additional transgression. I +am not responsible for it. I was compelled to jump or be buried alive +in the wall of the cavern. Besides, I knew the danger was not so great +as it appeared. When a boy, I once visited a salt mine. I had seen by +the light of the blazing straw that the walls of the abyss were formed +of the dark blue strata peculiar to salt mines, and guessed that the +lake was strongly impregnated with salt. I had also noticed on the +further wall of the abyss a flight of steps hewn in the rock, and +concluded that I had nothing to fear from drowning in the buoyant +water, if I reached it in safety. But, before I proceed farther, I +desire to enter a formal protest against the chair's designating my +beloved Madus an 'impure female.' She was pure and innocent--an angel +on earth, a saint in heaven. He that defames her must do battle with +me--my adversary in coat of mail, I in doublet of silk. The weapons: +lances, swords, or maces--whatever he may select; and I positively +refuse to proceed with my confession until his honor, the mayor, has +given me satisfaction, or amended the protocol." + +"Well, mayor," said the prince, addressing the chair, "I think the +prisoner is justified in his protest. Either you must amend the +protocol, or fight him." + +The former expedient was chosen, and the notary erased the latter +clause of the protocol. It read, when corrected: "Sinful temptation +of providence by chaste affection for a respectable maid." + +"Now, my son, you may jump." + +Hugo thanked the prince and resumed his confession: + +I pressed my ankles together, bent forward, and sprang, head foremost, +into the abyss. As I sped swiftly downward, there was a sound like +swelling thunder in my ears, then I became stone deaf, and the water +closed over me. My eyes and mouth told me it was salt water, and +whatever apprehension I had had vanished. The next moment I was +floating on the surface, my head and shoulders above the water. I soon +found the kerchief, which I tied about my neck, amid the acclamations +and cheers of my comrades, which were multiplied by the echoing walls +to the most infernal roaring. The torches held over the mouth of the +abyss gleamed through the darkness like a blood-red star in the +firmament of hades. + +A few vigorous strokes propelled me to the steps leading from the lake +to the upper gallery of the abyss, which is really an abandoned salt +mine. + +There are one hundred and eighty steps, but by taking two at a time I +reduced them to ninety; and three minutes after I had taken my leap, I +stood, encrusted from head to foot with salt--like a powdered +imp!--before my blushing Madus. + +She received me with a bashful smile when the robbers carried me on +their shoulders to her, and I was about to kiss her, when the leader +seized me by the collar and drew me back. + +"Not yet, lad, not yet!" he cried. "You have only been through the +christening ceremony. Confirmation comes next. You must become a +member of our faith before you can become my daughter's husband. Every +man that marries a princess must adopt her belief." + +Now, as your honors may have guessed, the question of religion was one +I did not require much time to answer. I consented without a moment's +hesitation to adopt my Madus' faith. The leader then signed to one of +the band to prepare for the ceremony of confirmation. It was one of +the priests of whom I have spoken--I had taken particular notice of +him during the feast, because he ate and drank more than any one else. + +"He that becomes a member of our society"--the leader informed +me--"must take a different name from the one he has borne elsewhere. I +am called 'Nyedzviedz,' which signifies either 'the bear,' or 'without +equal.' What name shall we give you?" + +Some one suggested that, as I was an expert swimmer, I should be +called "Szczustak" (perch); another thought "Lyabedz" (swan), more +suitable and prettier, but I told them that, as I excelled most in +hurling bombs, "Baran" (ram), would be still more appropriate; and +Baran it was decided I should be called. + +In the meantime the robber priest had donned his vestments. On his +plentifully oiled hair rested a tall, gold-embroidered hat; over his +coarse peasant coat he had drawn a richly decorated cassock; his feet +were thrust into a pair of slippers, also handsomely embroidered--relics, +obviously, of some gigantic saint; for the robber priest's feet, from +which he had not removed his boots, were quite hidden in them. In his +hands he held a silver crucifix; and as I looked at him, the thought +came to me that he had, without a doubt, made way with the original +wearer and bearer of the rich vestments, and the crucifix. + +He ordered me to kneel before him. I did so, and he began to perform +all sorts of hocus-pocus over me. I couldn't understand a word of it, +for he spoke in Greek, and I had not yet become familiar with that +language. I learned it later. + +After mumbling over me for several minutes, he smeared some +ill-smelling ointment on my nose; then he fumigated me with incense +until I was almost suffocated. In concluding, when he bestowed on me +my new name, he gave me such a vigorous box on the ear, that it rang +for several seconds, and I almost fell backward. The blow was not +given with the hand of the priest, but with the sturdy fist of the +robber. + +This is carrying the joke too far, I said to myself; and, before the +ruffian could guess what I intended, I was on my feet, and had +delivered a right-hander on the side of his head that sent his gold +hat spinning across the floor, and himself, and his slippers after it. + +"_Actus majoris potentiae contra ecclesiasticam personam!_" dictated +the mayor to the notary; while his highness, the prince, held his +stomach, and laughed until the tears ran down his cheeks. + +"I should like to have seen that performance!" he exclaimed when he +had got his breath again. "Did the padre excommunicate you?" + +Not much, he didn't, your highness! From that moment I became a person +of consequence among the haidemaken. The leader slapped me heartily on +the shoulder, and said approvingly: + +"You're the right sort, lad--we need no further proof." + +After a bumper all 'round, to celebrate my entrance to the community, +every man wrapped himself in his bear-skin, and lay down on the floor +of the cavern. Although the torches had been extinguished I could see, +by the faint light which penetrated from the entrance, that Madus +ascended a rope ladder to a deep hollow high up in the wall, and drew +the ladder up after her. + +In a very few minutes the snores from the four hundred robbers +proclaimed them oblivious to this work-a-day world. + +At day-break the watchman's horn brought every man to his feet; at the +same moment the leader appeared from an adjoining chamber, and gave to +each one his task for the day. + +After we had breakfasted, Nyedzviedz conducted me, in company with +Madus and several of the band, to the armory. + +"Here Baran," he said,--thrusting his foot against the culverin I +mentioned before--"you claim to be a skilled bombardier. Let us see if +you understand how to manage a thing like this. We stole it from +Count Potocky's castle, and brought it here with great difficulty. +Sixteen men would carry it two hundred steps, then other sixteen would +relieve them, and so on. We didn't find out until we had got it up +here that it would be of no use to us. The first time we tried to fire +it off--it lay on the ground as now--four men sat astride of it, as on +a horse, to steady it. I, myself, directed the shot toward the mouth +of the cavern, and three men stood behind me to observe operations. +When I applied the fuse, the infernal thing sprang into the air +flinging the four men astride it to the roof of the cave; while the +ball, instead of going where I had aimed--out of the entrance--imbedded +itself in the wall over yonder, where it still sticks." + +I laughed heartily at his amusing description of the gun's behavior; +whereupon he said soberly: + +"Oh, you may laugh, but it was no laughing matter I can tell you! I +made a second attempt. I tied a rope around the rascal's neck to +prevent him from kicking again, and fastened the ends securely to two +stout pegs driven into the ground. 'There, sir,' I said, 'now kick if +you want to!' I lighted the fuse--the demon didn't kick this time; +instead he rushed backward dragging both pegs with him; broke the +right leg of one of the men, the left of another, and both legs of the +third; and the ball bored itself into the corner over there. Now let +us see if you can do any better." + +"Oh, you stupid bear!" I exclaimed, unable to restrain my mirth, "you +may thank your stars that the rusty old gun didn't burst into flinders +and kill every one of you!--as you deserved! The first thing to be +done with the culverin is to clean and polish it until it shines like +a mirror. Then--who ever heard of laying a cannon on the ground to +fire it off?--it must have a sort of platform on wheels so it can be +moved about." + +The leader immediately gave orders to the smith and the wagon-maker of +the band to obey my instructions and complete as quickly as possible +the sort of gun-carriage I should describe to them, and I set about at +once to clean and scour the old culverin which, with the accumulated +rust of years, was no light task. + +There was no time to lose, for the Tartars, with their Hungarian +captives, having vacated Poland, the Polish magnates returned to their +castles, and prepared to carry out the plans for punishing the +insolent haidemaken, which had been interrupted by the war. Those +members of the band who were sent on various errands into the regions +adjacent to the Prsjaka Gorge, brought back, instead of booty, bloody +heads, and the startling news that the roads leading to the Gorge were +filled with armed troopers. + +The two despoiled magnates had combined their forces, and were +prepared for a regular siege of the plundering haidemaken. + +The latter, however, merely laughed at the warlike preparations. They +were not afraid of a siege! Nyedzviedz, on learning of the approach of +the beleaguerers, instead of curtailing our rations, doubled them, +mystifying all of us by the seemingly illimitable supplies in the +provision chamber. We received, every day, double rations of fresh +goats' meat and mutton, and yet there was not in any of the caves even +the sign of a living animal. + +Meanwhile the beleaguerers advanced steadily. + +There was a stratagem the robbers had frequently resorted to in order +to vanquish a beleaguering foe. They opened an underground sluice +through which the water of the salt lake in the bottom of the abyss +would rush into the defile and drown the enemy. But Prince Siniarsky's +troopers had become familiar with this trick; and one morning, when we +awoke, we found that a stone wall had been built across the gorge +while we slept. An arched opening in the center of the base would give +egress to all the water we might choose to let out of the lake. + +This was bad enough, but worse came later. + +The wall increased in height every night. I told Nyedzviedz at the +beginning what would be the outcome of such a proceeding; when the top +of the wall should have reached to the height of the wooden gutter +which conveyed the brook into the cavern, Siniarsky's men would fling +a line over it, attach a stout chain to the line, and when they had +drawn it over the gutter it would be easy enough to pull it down. + +"In that case we shall die of thirst," growled the leader, "for there +isn't any other water in the cavern fit to drink. But a still greater +danger, of which you know nothing, threatens us." + +He did not tell me what it was, but he became so morose and +ill-tempered, that no one but his daughter ventured to speak to him. + +The haidemaken made several assaults on the wall, but the troopers +returned the fire with such volleys from the numerous loop-holes in +it, that our men were always forced to retreat. + +All hopes were now centered in me, and on the culverin, which I had +polished until it shone like gold. The carriage for it had been +completed, and balls cast under my directions. + +The wall grew higher and higher, until at last the top was on a level +with our conduit. Its completion was celebrated in the enemy's camp by +the blaring of trumpets, and beating of drums, and what I had foretold +came to pass; the arquebusier mounted to the top of the wall, adjusted +his arquebuse on its forked rest, and prepared to take aim at our +water conduit. + +"Now, watch me!" said I to Nyedzviedz, pointing the culverin's muzzle +toward the cornice of the wall. + +Two shots sounded simultaneously, and when the smoke had cleared away, +there was neither arquebuse, nor arquebusier--nor yet the cornice of +the wall, to be seen. All three had vanished. + +I took aim a second time--this time at the base of the wall; and at +the sixth shot, the entire structure of solid masonry tumbled down +with a deafening crash, burying under it the musketeers who were at +the loop-holes. Not one of them escaped alive. + +The haidemaken, with loud cries of triumph, now hastily descended from +the cavern in their baskets, and flung themselves on the enemy, and +while the combat raged in the defile below me, I wheeled my culverin +to the mouth of the cavern, and hurled shot after shot toward the +troopers who were hurrying to the aid of their comrades. + +The enemy was completely routed, and our men returned to the cavern +richly laden with spoils. + +So all-powerful is a cannon when its management is thoroughly +understood. + +"That will do for today;" at this point observed the prince. "The +confession will be continued tomorrow." + + +THE VISZPA OGROD. + +The next morning Hugo resumed his confession: + +When the haidemaken, after having put to flight the troopers returned +with their booty to the cavern, the leader said to me: + +"Well, Baran, you certainly earned your name today, by proving +yourself a most effective 'ram.' To your assaults with the culverin we +owe our victory. Here is the treasure we took from the vanquished +foe--take of it what you want, you have the first choice." Gold and +silver galore lay before me, but I answered: "Thank you, Nyedzviedz, +you know very well I have no use for money; instead, I want your +daughter--for her alone I have served you; she is the reward I +desire." + +To this reply the leader shook his head irritably, and said: "I am +disappointed in you, Baran. You are, after all, only a tender-hearted +dove that wants to bill and coo. The man who has a wife is only half a +man. The true haidemak embraces his sweetheart, then slays her--or +better: slays her first. Why do you desire to marry? Be wise, lad, and +remain a celibate. If you will think no more of Madus I will make you +my second in command." + +"But I can't, and won't think of anything but Madus," I returned, +stubbornly; "and if you don't give her to me, you are not a man of +your word." + +"You don't know what you are asking, Baran," again said the leader. +"If you persist in your demand you will compel me to send you the way +all our members have gone who proved themselves to be soft-hearted +doves. The man who wants to bill and coo cannot remain with us. If you +marry Madus you must leave us." + +I told him I would manage somehow to endure such a calamity, which +made him laugh heartily. + +"I know very well, Baran, my lad, that it would not grieve you to +leave us, if you were allowed to depart with Madus to the outside +world. But that may not be. The man we pronounce a 'dove,' must go a +different route. The youth who refused to leap into the abyss the day +you arrived, was a dove. You saw what became of him. A hundred and +more love-lorn swains, and cowards have gone the same way. You will +find in every crevice the skeletons of the unfortunates. Do you still +desire to join the ghastly company?" + +It did not sound very alluring--to celebrate one's nuptials among +cadavers; but when I looked at Madus, who was standing by her father's +side, the glance which met mine from her beaming eyes banished from +my thoughts everything but her beautiful image, and I said: + +"It matters not whither I go if my Madus goes with me--be the journey +to hades itself!" + +When Madus also declared she had no dread of undertaking the journey +with me, her father summoned a priest--the same bearded rascal that +had performed the ceremony of confirmation over me. + +His vestments this time were even more magnificent--('acquired,' I +have not the least doubt, from some wealthy cathedral by my respected +father-in-law and his comrades) and with all manner of unintelligible +mummery he performed the ceremony, which united me and my beloved +Madus in the holy bonds of matrimony. + +When the marriage ceremony was concluded, my wife and I each received +from her father a costly, gold ornamented cap, and a richly +embroidered mantle; a bag of provisions, and a jug of wine were also +given to us. Then we were conducted to the same cleft in the wall of +the cavern, in which the unfortunate Jurko had been entombed. + +When the heavy rock had been removed from the opening the robbers, one +after the other, shook hands with us. The leader was so deeply +affected he embraced both of us. After a lighted taper had been placed +in my hand, we were thrust into the narrow passage which was +immediately closed behind us. + +The noises in the cavern sounded like the low murmur one hears in a +sea-shell held close to the ear. By the faint light from our taper I +could see a smile of encouragement on my Madus' face, and obeyed +without a question when she bade me follow her. + +We had forced our way through the narrow passage, which was hardly +wide enough for one person, a considerable distance, when we suddenly +came to a small chamber about the size of a room in a pleasant +cottage. Here, Madus said, we should have to rest and pass the night. + +"Night?" I repeated. "We can easily bring the blackness of midnight +upon us in this hole! We have only to extinguish the candle. But we +shall never know when it is morning. Daylight never enters here. No +cheerful cock-crow ever reaches this tomb. Here, no one will come to +rouse us, and say: 'Rise, rise! morning, beauteous morning, is come.'" + +"Fie, fie, Baran," chided my Madus. "Do you already regret the step +you have taken? Should you be sorry never again to see daylight--now +that you have me with you?" + +"No, no," I answered, promptly, ashamed of my momentary regret. "No, +no," and I set about preparing for our night's rest. We spread our +bear skins on the floor of the cave, sat down on them, and ate our +supper, becoming quite cheerful as the wine sped with pleasurable +warmth through our veins. + +Suddenly Madus turned toward me and asked: + +"Where do you imagine we are, Baran?" + +"In paradise," I made answer, kissing her. + +Thereupon she roguishly blew out the light and asked again: "Can you +see me?" + +"No," I answered, for I could see nothing at all. "Look again, Baran, +and repeat after me what I say." + +I fixed my eyes where I believed her to be, and repeated after her, +word for word, the Lord's Prayer, the _Ave Maria_ and the _Credo_, and +as I did so, it seemed to me as if the dear child's countenance came +into view, gradually growing brighter and brighter, until the gloom +disappeared, and the subterranean grotto became irradiated as with the +sunlight of noon. I did not tell her so, though, for women are so +easily made vain; but from that moment I became convinced that Madus +was my guardian angel. + +Never, in all my life, have I been so happy as I was with my beloved +Madus in that underground cave, and I should have been content to stop +there with her until the end of time! I would not have inquired if +ever a morning would dawn again for us, had not Madus roused me from a +sound slumber, and lighted the taper. + +"What do you imagine will become of us?" she asked, and I replied: + +"I believe the haidemaken are playing a trick on us, and that they +will fetch us away from here after a while." + +"No, you are mistaken, Baran, we shall never again return to the +cavern. The haidemaken do not expect to see us again." + +"But, surely, Nyedzviedz will not allow his only daughter to perish +miserably in this hole?" I exclaimed. + +"Alas, you don't know him, my poor Baran," returned Madus sorrowfully. +"My father's heart is impervious to pity. Those whom he banishes, as +we have been banished, can never return to the cavern." + +I now became alarmed in earnest. Until that moment I had entertained a +suspicion that the haidemaken were only trying to frighten me. + +I was cursing my folly--mentally of course--for having allowed the +fascinations of a love-dream to lure me to so wretched a fate, when +Madus rose from her bear skin couch, and bade me follow her. I +remembered her radiant countenance of the preceding evening, and my +confidence in her was restored. + +We passed onward, through the narrow corridor which traversed numerous +caves, larger and smaller than the one in which we had rested. I kept +glancing furtively, right and left, expecting every moment to see the +helpless skeletons with which Nyedzviedz had tried to intimidate me. + +On, on we pressed, occasionally passing the entrance to a cave that +was stored with all manner of plunder. At last I noticed that the +corridor began to widen, and suddenly my soul was rejoiced to +discover, far ahead, a faint gleam of light that became brighter and +brighter as we approached. It was daylight! + +"Hurrah!" I shouted aloud, in my ecstacy clasping Madus to my heart. +"We are free! We are free!" + +"Free? No, my Baran, far from it!" she returned gently and sadly. "We +are approaching our life-prison. You will soon see it." + +The passage was now wide enough for the two of us to walk side by +side. We did not need the taper now, for we had sunlight from the +strip of blue sky we could see overhead. I pressed eagerly forward to +see more of it. I could have drunk in at one long breath the entire +heaven. + +At last we arrived at the end of the passage between the two tall +walls of rock, and there below us lay the Viszpa Ogrod, which means: +"Island Garden." + +And it is a veritable island; only, instead of water, it is +encompassed by rocks--rocks so high, and so steep, that nothing +wingless can ever hope to escape over them into the world outside. + +Heaven-towering walls of basalt, naked cliffs, sheer inaccessible, +dome-shaped, and truncated, ranged one against the other in a compact +mass like the facade of a vast cathedral, environ the Viszpa Ogrod, +which, with its verdant fields, forest, fruit and vegetable gardens, +lies like a gleaming emerald in a setting of rock, at the bottom of +the deep crater. + +From the dizzy heights of the cavern wall leaps a stream, that is +transformed to iridescent spray before it reaches the valley, there to +pursue its sinuous course amid the fields, gardens, and tiny white +dwellings upon which we looked down as through a misty veil. + +"That is our future home," whispered Madus. "Our life-prison from +which there is no escape. To this island garden is banished all those +haidemaken who prove too tender-hearted for their cruel trade, or tire +of their adventurous life; also those who refuse to desert the women +they love. Here, the banished dwell together and till the ground--they +will never again see any other portion of the globe than this little +valley." + +The Viszpa Ogrod revealed the secret of the haidemaken's power to defy +a siege. This island garden made it possible for them to defy all the +troops sent against them, for it contained an inexhaustible supply of +provisions. When the robbers discovered it, it was a wilderness of +stunted fir trees. No living creature could exist in it, for there was +no water until the brook, conducted into the cavern from the opposite +side of the defile, found an outlet into it, thence, through the +ground, into Prince Siniarsky's salt mines. + +The water very soon wrought a wonderful change in the aspect of the +valley. A portion of the stunted forest was cleared, and the ground +planted with rye, vegetables, and various shrubs and plants which +throve luxuriantly in this "garden" sheltered from the cold winds by +the wall of rock. The firs left standing put forward new growth, and +became stately trees--everything, even the human beings that came to +dwell here, underwent a complete transformation. + +True, those whom the haidemaken sent to the valley had already become +tender-hearted, or, weary of the wild life of the robbers; but, no +matter what the life of a man had been before he became a member of +the little community in the island garden, there he would forget the +entire world, become an entirely new being. + +I speak from experience, for I, who have enjoyed a full share of this +world's pleasures--everything that can rejoice the king in his palace, +and the dreams of the prisoner in his dungeon--I never was truly happy +until I went to dwell with my beloved Madus in the Viszpa Ogrod. + +A narrow path winds from the outlet of the rock-corridor down into the +valley. Madus, who was perfectly familiar with the path, led the way, +recognizing, while still at a distance from them, each occupant of the +little cottages. The children ran to meet us, and, on hearing from +Madus who I was, seized our hands, and with shouts of joy drew us +toward the village. + +A bell was rung to announce our arrival. Later I learned from the +inscription on this bell that it had formerly swung in the tower of +Bicloviez monastery. Like everything else in the valley, it had been +stolen. Everything, even the beautiful cloth and silk garments which +clothed the women--nay the women themselves, were plunder. + +Robber and robbed dwelt together amid plunder in harmony, happy as +Adam and Eve in Eden. They ploughed, planted, and gathered the harvest +in perfect contentment. They shared their abundance with the cavern, +and received in return plunder from all parts of the world. + +As I have said before, there were no animals in the Viszpa Ogrod when +the robbers discovered it, and as it was impossible to convey +full-grown cattle through the narrow passage from the cavern, calves, +goats, and lambs instead were brought to the valley, which had become +so well stocked with everything necessary to sustain a large army, +that no potentate on earth could have reduced the haidemaken to +starvation, no matter to what length the siege might have been +extended. + +The only danger which threatened the cavern was the stoppage of their +water supply. Were that cut off, the luxuriance and fruitfulness of +the valley would vanish, and it would become again an arid wilderness +uninhabitable for man and beast. This was the danger dreaded by +Nyedzviedz when the troopers began to build their wall in the defile. + +The dwellers in the Viszpa Ogrod lived together like the family of +Father Abraham in the promised land. The eldest of the men was the +patriarch. He made all the laws; issued all the commands; allotted to +each one his task and share of the harvest, giving to everyone as much +as was required for the needs of himself and his household. + +There was no priest in the valley. There was no Sabbath. The pleasant +days were working-days; when it rained everybody rested. + +There was no praying, no cursing, no quarreling. There, where every +head of a household had once been a thief, no disputing about mine and +thine was ever heard. There, every woman--and not one of them had been +given an opportunity to vow fidelity to her mate before the altar, but +had been forcibly conveyed to the valley--was so faithful, so modest, +that no stranger could have told what was the color of her eyes. + +When Madus and I arrived in the valley, Zoraw, the patriarch, prepared +for us a feast, to which were invited the rest of the community to the +number of eighty. After the feast, Zoraw conducted us to the brook, +where we drank with everyone the pledge of fraternity from a wooden +bottle of fresh water--that being the only beverage in the valley. At +the conclusion of this ceremony, the bottle was broken in pieces, to +symbolize unalterable alliance. + +Then Zoraw measured off and assigned to us our plot of ground. The +entire community lent a hand, and in two days our cottage was under +roof, modestly furnished, and ready for occupancy. In the stable stood +a cow and a goat for the housewife. When we were comfortably settled +in our new home I was asked by the patriarch what manner of tools he +should give me; and finding that I should be compelled to +work--something I had never learned at school, or in the field--I +chose the trade of smith, which would at least give me the handling of +iron, without which I never felt contented. + +I became accustomed in a very short time to my new mode of life. I +would work at my trade the allotted time every day, then go home to my +wife, who would tell me how the ducklings had got smothered in the +shell, how the milk had turned sour, and such like prattle. And one +day she whispered blushingly in my ear the secret which makes the +husband's heart beat faster with joy and pride. In listening to it, I +forgot everything else in the world. The thought that I was to become +the father of a family, that would grow up to know no other home but +this peaceful valley, filled my soul with joy and content. This +thought became to me what roots are to a tree; it attached me so +securely to my little plot of ground, that I felt as if no power on +earth could tear me away from it. My beloved Madus, and our little +home, became doubly dear to me. Had all the wealth, all the splendor +that came to me later, been offered me then in exchange for my Madus +and the humble little home she filled with her joyous presence, I +should have refused with scorn. + + +THE KOLTUK-DENGENEGI. + +I had become perfectly satisfied with my peaceful and uneventful +existence. My entire world now lay within the rocky rim of the Viszpa +Ogrod. My entire happiness lay in the beaming smile with which my +Madus greeted my home-coming every day. My labors in the smithy were +always over by noon; the afternoons were devoted to work required to +be done at home. + +One day I was siting in the hall-way of our cottage busily employed +fashioning, from some crimson willow withes, a pretty basket-cradle, +when a shadow suddenly shut out the sunlight from me. I looked up and +was startled to see Nyedzviedz standing in the door-way. + +"You here!" I exclaimed. "Have you, too, been relegated to the Viszpa +Ogrod because of the softened heart? Or have you come here to hide +from an enemy?--Which?" + +"Neither, my good Baran," answered the leader. "I am not come to stop +in this happy valley, but to fetch you away from it. We need you in +the cavern. We cannot get on without you. We are planning a most +important expedition, and need your assistance. A rich caravan is on +the road to Mohilow; it is made up of Russian, Turkish and Jew +traders, and is accompanied by a military escort. We propose to +capture this caravan, and take possession of all the treasure and +valuables, after which, we shall proceed to Berdiczov and loot the +monastery. As the monastery is strongly fortified, and garrisoned, we +shall have to batter down the walls; therefore we must take you with +us, as you are the only one who understands how to handle our field +gun. I shall appoint you second in command of the expedition." + +Madus had come from the kitchen while her father was speaking. She was +not in the least glad to see him; on the contrary, she greeted him +with a frown, and demanded angrily: + +"Why do you try to lure my gentle-hearted Baran away from me? He does +not need your stolen treasure. He has all he wants here in his humble +home. You buried us here--we are dead to you, therefore leave us here +in peace." + +To which Nyedzviedz made answer by saying: "Baran, does the father or +the husband control the wife? If you, the husband, don't know how to +control your wife, I, her father, will show you what to do with the +woman who speaks when she is not spoken to." + +I well knew what a hasty temper was the leader's, and persuaded Madus +to come with me to the kitchen, where I gently argued away her +opposition to my leaving home. I assured her it would be for our good; +that when I had got together enough money to keep us in comfort I +should return, and find a way to escape with her from the valley to +some large city, where we should be safe from the haidemaken, and +where she might sweep the dusty streets with a long-tailed silk gown, +and be addressed as "gracious lady." + +This had the desired effect. She wept bitterly; but she bade me go +with her father. When I turned to cast a last look into the valley, +before we entered the rock-corridor, I could see my poor little wife's +red kerchief still gleaming in the doorway of our cottage. Her +favorite dove had flown after me to the entrance of the corridor; +there it settled down on my shoulder and began to coo into my ear. I +had to fling it away from me quite forcibly in order to frighten it +back to its mistress. My former comrades greeted me with loud cries of +welcome, and celebrated my return by a tremendous drinking-bout. + +When, after my long abstention from it, I again tasted wine, I forgot +the Viszpa Ogrod and everything connected with it--as one will, when +awake, forget even the most enchanting dreams. + +It is a well-known fact that the wine-drinker who abstains for a long +period from his favorite beverage, then yields again to the +temptation, becomes a more inveterate drunkard than before he resisted +the fascinations of the cup. The haidemaken drank only Tokay; they +made a point of selecting from the cellars of the prelates, and +magnates whom they plundered, only the best vintages. + +The following night we set out for Mohilow, a twelve days' journey. + +I am almost willing to wager that not a soul, in the region to which +we were going, really believed such a band of robbers as the +haidemaken was in existence--or, if it had ever been heard of, the +tales of its marvelous exploits were looked upon as kindred to the +fables repeated in the nursery. + +As I said before, the band always traveled by night. During the day we +rested, hidden in a dense forest, or in an uninhabited valley. + +We never entered a village to procure food, but carried with us +rations of dried meat, varying our diet with mushrooms collected on +the way. + +On learning definitely from the scouts we had sent to reconnoiter that +the caravan was expected to reach Mohilow on a certain day, we +concealed ourselves in a swampy thicket by the side of the road over +which it would have to pass. Here we were forced to wait two days, +during which our meat gave out, and we had to eat raw frogs and birds' +eggs. The peasant carts passing along the road, with pretzels, smoked +sausages, cheese, mead and wine for the market at Mohilow, were not +molested by the hungry robbers, who would only have needed to stretch +out their hands to secure the good things for which they languished. +But the leader would not allow it. + +"We are here to fight, not feast," he said. + +Our patience was well nigh at an end, when, one day, the sound of a +trumpet and drum announced the approach of the caravan. + +On mules, on horses, camels, and ox-carts, came the +fifteen-hundred-odd human souls, their escort, a valiant company of +soldiers in coats of mail, and helmets, and armed with halberds, and +muskets. It was a motly crowd, outnumbering our band in souls; but +inferior to us in strength. + +When, at a preconcerted signal, our men dashed from the thicket, the +entire caravan fell into confusion. The soldiers fired off their +muskets, heedless where they aimed; we, on the other hand, sent our +shots where they would prove most effective. + +A frightful tumult ensued--it was: save himself who can; while the +heavily laden carts and vans were left behind. + +I must admit that the haidemaken behaved atrociously. Never, in all my +experience on the battlefield, did I witness such a scene of carnage. +It made me ill; I became so faint with horror and disgust I sank +unconscious to the ground. + +When I came to my senses, I saw a Turkish merchant hobbling on a +crutch toward me. He was old, and seemed to have been seriously +wounded, for he was covered with blood. He came straight toward me, +and, sinking to the ground by my side, said in a pleading tone: "My +son, I beg you, take my yataghan, and cut off my head." + +Your honors may believe that I was startled by so singular a request. + +"I shan't do any such thing!" I replied promptly, and with decision. + +"Pray do," he urged. "Cut off my head without further parley, and you +shall have this koltuk-dengenegi," which is Turkish for "beggar's +staff." + +"No, Baba," I returned, with the same decision as before. "I can't cut +off your head, for I have no grudge against you. I am not an +assassin--though I do belong to the haidemaken; I was forced into +this band, much as Pilate was thrust into the _credo_--against his +will, I'll warrant!" + +"Your countenance tells me, my son, that you are better than your +comrades," said the old Turk. "For that reason I ventured to ask a +favor of you. Come, hesitate no longer to perform the deed of mercy +for which you shall be handsomely rewarded. Decapitate this old body; +it will not be assassination; one can murder only a living being--so +says the Koran, the only truthful book on earth--and I cannot strictly +be called a living being. I have a deadly wound in the abdomen, and am +bound to die sooner or later. Besides, I am prepared and desire to +die. I can't flee any farther; and if I fall into the hands of your +cruel comrades I shall be horribly tortured. Therefore, I beg you to +release me from further suffering; cut off my head with this beautiful +yataghan, which shall also be yours." + +But, not even then could I bring myself to grant his prayer, and +relieve him of his sufferings and his bald head. + +"Leave me, Baba," I exclaimed impatiently. "If you want to get rid of +your head, cut it off yourself with that beautiful yataghan; or else, +hang yourself on one of those beautiful trees over yonder." + +To this the old Turk responded with pious mien: "That I dare not do, +my son. The Koran--the only truthful book on earth--says, there are +seven hells: one underneath the other, and each one more terrible than +the one above it. The first hell is for true believers, like myself; +the second is for Christians; the seventh is for the Atheists. The +fourth, Morhut, is for those persons who commit suicide. Were I to +take my own life, I should have to descend to the fourth hell, where, +as well as in every one of the three hells above it, I should be +obliged to remain three-hundred and thirty-three years before I should +be permitted to enter paradise. Whereas, if I should lose my life at +the hands of an unbeliever like yourself, I should--so says the Koran, +the only truthful book on earth--go straightway to paradise." + +And still I hesitated; though it seemed but kindness to grant the old +Turk's request, and send him speeding straightway into paradise. But, +I remembered that our Bible (really the only truthful book on earth) +says: "Thou shalt not kill;" and thrust the importunate old fellow +away from me. + +But he renewed his pleading with increased urgency: "See, my son, I +will give you this koltuk-dengenegi--" "Of what use would that crutch +be to me?" I interrupted. + +"If you will screw off the top you will see that the crutch is filled +with gold pieces," he replied; and to prove that he spoke the truth, +he unscrewed the shoulder rest and shook several gold coins into the +palm of his hand. + +The yellow metal dazzled my eyes: "The crutch would hold a good many +coins," I said to myself, to which added the Turk's pleading voice: + +"You shall have it all, my son, if you will but grant my prayer." + +And still I hesitated. + +"I can't do it, Baba," I said. "Even if you gave me the crutch, I +should not be allowed to keep the gold. No member of our band is +allowed to keep for his own use alone any valuables that may come into +his possession. Everything must be placed at once in the common +treasury for the use of the entire band--and woe to the haidemak who +would dare to keep for himself even a single Polish groschen! So, you +see, Baba, your gold would be of no use to me." + +"Listen to me, my son," again urged the wounded Turk, who was growing +visibly weaker; "you are young; I can see that this wild life is not +suited to you. If you had my gold, you could escape to Wallachia, buy +an estate--a castle--serfs, and marry. Perhaps you already have a +sweetheart--if so, why shouldn't you live in happiness with her, +instead of skulking about in caves and swamps like a wild animal?" + +This suggestion made me thoughtful. It brought back to my mind my dear +good Madus. Ah! if only I might fly with her, far away, to some region +where she might become a respected lady. If I had the Turk's gold! I +could easily keep it secreted in the crutch. Some day, when the +haidemaken were away on an expedition, I could easily stupefy the few +members of the band remaining in the cavern by drugging their mead +with Venice treacle; and when they were sound asleep I could fetch my +Madus from the Viszpa Ogrod and with her escape to a far away land. + +This thought impressed itself so deeply on my mind--it became so +alluring that, unconsciously, my hand went out toward the beautiful +yataghan. + +"If I thought I could keep the gold hidden!" I said, unconscious that +I had given voice to the thought. + +"That will be easy enough; just leave it in the crutch," promptly +responded the Turk. "When you join your comrades make believe to have +taken cold in the swamp yonder, say that the muscles of your leg have +contracted and made you lame. That will not only give you an excuse to +use the crutch, but it will most likely get your discharge; a hobbling +cripple is not a desirable comrade in a band of robbers." + +Without waiting to see how I might take his suggestion, the Turk +proceeded at once to show me how to bandage my left leg, so that it +could not be straightened at the knee; how to keep my ankle against +the crutch, and hobble along on the right leg. I thought of Madus, for +whom I would have hobbled on one leg to Jerusalem, and let him show me +how to transform myself to a cripple. + +"Now, my son," he said, when he had delivered his instructions, "take +my yataghan, my beautiful yataghan, and cut off my head--only don't +hack it off as a butcher would with a cleaver. Swing the yataghan, +thus, in a half-circle--easily, gracefully, as you would the bow of a +violin. I will kneel here at your feet, bend forward, thus; then do +you strike just here: between these two segments of the vertebrć. Be +sure to keep firm hold on the handle to prevent the blade from +slipping--" + +He gave me so many directions, kept on talking so long that Satan, who +is ever at one's elbow, gave my arm a sudden thrust, and, before I +knew what had happened, a body minus a head lay at my feet, while a +head minus a body was rolling down the hill-- + +"_Homicidium!_" dictated the chair to the notary. To this the prince +appended: + +"Under extenuating circumstances. We must not ignore the fact that the +deed was committed at the urgent request of the decapitated--under +approval of the Koran, and instigated, I might say, forced, to the act +by the wicked one at the perpetrator's elbow." + +"It was killing a human being, all the same!" said Hugo, "and I had +cause soon afterward to repent most bitterly what I had done. After I +had committed the bloody deed I set out to overtake my comrades. They +had secured much valuable booty which they were carrying on their +backs. When I came up with them, hobbling on one leg and leaning on my +crutch, they broke into loud laughter: + +"What the devil is the matter with you?" queried the leader. + +"I am all used up!" I groaned. "I killed an old Turk, whose lame leg +prevented him from running away with the rest of them; and before he +gave up the ghost he cursed me and prayed that I might be compelled to +hobble along on a crutch for the rest of my life. He had hardly got +the words out of his throat before my leg became as you see it, and I +can't straighten it." + +"That comes of standing in the swamp--cold water will affect +effeminate fellows like you in that way," observed Nyedzviedz. "But +don't worry, we have among us one who understands how to cure such +maladies. Ho, there! Przepiorka, come hither." + +I was frightened, I can tell you! If my leg were examined it would be +found to be in a sound and healthy condition. But there was no help +for it--I could not escape an examination. So I drew up the calf of +the leg so tightly against the lower part of the thigh that +Przepiorka, after he had tried several times in vain to straighten it +pronounced it permanently crippled. + +On hearing this decision, I forgot my role and would have straightened +the leg to convince myself that it could be done; but, what was my +consternation and alarm to find that I was unable to do it. The +affliction I had pretended had come upon me in earnest! God had +punished me. I was a miserable cripple, unable to take a single step +without the koltuk-dengenegi. + +How I cursed him who had left it to me in legacy! + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE BERDICZOV MONASTERY. + + +"Don't worry," said Nyedzviedz again, when he saw my distress. "Don't +worry! You can still be of great service to us, even if you are lame. +We have long wanted to add to our number just such a cripple." + +Then he summoned a sturdy, broad-shouldered robber and bade him take +me on his back and in this fashion I journeyed with the band, the +stronger members taking turns in carrying me. + +When we arrived at Oezakover forest, where we halted to rest, the +leader said to me: + +"You will leave us here, Baran, and hobble to Berdiczov as best you +can. I want you to spy out the situation there for us and get all the +information you can. Then you will return to the cavern and on the +news you bring will depend our plans of attack; I propose to capture +the monastery." + +The extraordinary success of the Mohilow expedition had made our +leader so arrogant that, because he had, with three-hundred men +vanquished two-thousand, half of whom were armed, he now aspired to +nothing of less importance than a garrisoned castle. + +And the wedge with which he proposed to force an entrance was my +crippled leg! + +From near and far--from distant lands even, all manner of crippled +folk, and invalids afflicted with divers maladies, journeyed to +Berdiczov in search of healing. The indigent limped and hobbled on +crutches to the miracle-working spot; the well-to-do rode on mules; +the peasant was trundled in a barrow by his sturdy spouse; the +tradesman travelled in his two-wheeled ox-cart; and the magnate was +borne in his sedan-chair by his servants. + +Berdiczov monastery was the property of the Premonstrant monks. It +stood on an elevation in the center of a charming valley. It was +strongly fortified, and surrounded by thick walls, which were +protected outside by a deep moat and palisades. + +A thermal spring at the foot of the hill fed the moat and turned the +wheels of a grist mill. The only entrance to the monastery was over a +narrow drawbridge that spanned the moat at its deepest part. The +multitude of visitors to the healing spring found lodgings in the +little village outside the walls of the monastery; and only one +hundred worshippers at a time were permitted to enter the chapel +inside the gates. If the crowd gathered at the drawbridge at the hour +for services exceeded that number then mass was celebrated all day +long, one hundred of the faithful entering at one door, as the hundred +that had worshipped passed out by the other. Day and night guards +armed to the teeth patrolled the walls and the court-yard; and no +visitor was allowed to enter with weapons of any sort, for enormous +wealth lay heaped within the walls of the monastery. When I saw the +heaps on heaps of valuables in the treasure-chamber, I no longer +wondered that Nyedzviedz desired to possess it. There was a massive +altar of pure silver, the gift of King Stanislaus; golden alms basins, +engraved with the name and history of the donor, Count Leszinsky; +images of saints with mosaics of priceless gems; golden chalices; +shrines glittering with rubies and diamonds; gemmed thuribles; antique +crowns which had once adorned crania twice the size of the heads of +our day; costly reliquaries; and, amid all this splendor, countless +numbers of crutches and staves, the votive offerings of the afflicted +who had found healing in the waters of the spring. + +The crutches and staves were the first objects to attract my eye, and +I said to myself: "How gladly would I add to this collection the old +Turk's koltuk-dengenegi with all its gold, could I but find healing +for my crippled leg." + +When the choral began, I can't describe the feeling which took +possession of me as I listened to the beautiful melody. I had no +thought then for the treasures of gold and silver--no glance for +anything but the image of the saint above the altar. I could not +escape from the reproachful eyes it fixed on me. I felt that it was +reading all the wicked thoughts in my breast. But, as I listened to +the beautiful music, all the evil intentions I had brought with me to +the monastery faded from my heart; and when the last sounds died away, +there was not, in all the devout company, a more bitterly repentant +wretch than I. When the service was concluded, the worshippers passed +in front of the prior to receive his benediction. The prior was a +venerable saint with a flowing white beard; his countenance expressed +infinite goodness and benevolence. + +We had been told not to offer any gifts to the monks on entering the +monastery; but to leave whatever we might think fit to bestow, on +departing. + +The venerable prior dispensed his blessing to all alike. He did not +inquire if the recipient were a believer, or a heretic. Christians, +Jews, Mohammedans, all alike, received the godly man's benediction. + +I quitted the chapel wholly repentant. I had completely forgotten the +errand on which I had been sent. Not once did it occur to me that I +was there as a spy, to examine the walls, the mortars, to learn the +strength of the garrison. + +I took my place in the procession of cripples, and hobbled along with +them, mumbling the prayers prescribed for us. + +When we arrived at the miracle-working spring, I and my +fellow-sufferers were undressed and placed on rafts in the water--rich +and poor alike, no distinction was made between the magnate and the +beggar. + +I can't say exactly how long I remained in the water; but when I came +out, the crook had left my leg, it was straight and sound as before I +came into possession of the old Turk's crutch. + +"Miraculum! Miraculum!" shouted the entire company; while I wept like +a little child, for joy and gratitude. + +With my crutch over my shoulder, instead of under it I returned to the +prior, who received me with a benignant smile. + +I knelt at his feet and asked him to receive my confession. I told him +every thing; that I was there at the behest of the haidemaken leader +to spy out the strength of the fortifications and the garrison; that +the band was preparing to assault the monastery, so soon as they +should hear from me; that they intended to bring with them a powerful +field-gun, with which to force a breach in the walls through which the +four-hundred fearless robbers would enter and overpower the soldiery. +When I had concluded, and the prior had given me absolution, he said: + +"Now, my son, go back to those who sent you here and tell them what +you have learned. Let them come with their field-gun, and do you come +with them. When you are ordered to bombard the walls, do you obey--" + +"What? father;" I interrupted in astonishment. "You advise me to do +that?" + +"Yes. On the bombardier depends the effect of the bombardment! It +rests with him to aim well, or ill! Better you at the gun than +another!" + +I understood the sagacious reply, and said: + +"I shall take good care not to aim well, father." + +"On you, my son, will it depend that the relief troops I shall send +for reach here in time to save us from the robbers." + +"And you may rest assured, father, that I shall know how to prolong +the siege!" + +As a pledge that I would keep faith with him I gave him my crutch, +gratitude also prompting the gift, for, not even a gold-filled crutch +is too great a price to pay for a sound leg! + +"I will keep it for you, my son," said the benevolent sage. "If you +succeed in averting the danger which threatens us you shall have the +crutch back, and something in addition--something of more value than +gold: aid to reform. Take this image of the Holy Virgin to your wife +with my blessing." + +A changed man at heart, I returned to the cavern, where, however, I +was forced again to tell untruths, in order to deceive the robbers. +But it was for a good cause. + +My comrades received me with gratulatory shouts when they saw me +walking on two healthy legs. I told them I had been healed by +magic--by the incantations of a witch, and they believed me! Had I +told the truth, and that I had received the blessing of the prior, it +would have made them suspicious. + +We now held a council of war, at which I delivered my report. I knew +from experience that, to gain credence for a lie, one must invest it +with a modicum of truth. Therefore, I described, without deviating one +iota from the truth, the treasures I had seen, and even added to +them--as, for instance: I said there were barrels filled with gold and +silver, which made the robbers' mouths water. Nyedzviedz was full of +ambitious plans. He intended, so soon as he got money enough, to +combine under his leadership all the predatory bands in the Carpathian +region, and with them invade and plunder the wealthy Galician cities, +castles, and monasteries. He felt confident that the common people +would be glad to aid in plundering the prelates and nobles. + +I described the fortifications of Berdiczov monastery as almost +impregnable, when the truth was, that I could, with the culverin, have +battered down the walls the first day while the rusty old mortars +would do little damage among the beleaguerers. I ascribed to the prior +the strategic talents of a field-marshall. My description of the moat, +with the formidable palisades concealed under the water, quite +discouraged the robbers from the plan they had made to swim across it, +and storm the walls. + +Indeed, I told such astounding tales about the powder mines under the +walls and moat, that their confidence in me became absolute when I +sketched my plan of assault. I proposed to batter the fortifications +in such a manner, that the _debris_ would fall into and fill up the +moat, which would enable us to cross it without injury, and enter +through the breaches I had made in the walls. I won the leader's favor +and approval to such an extent that he committed the entire conduct of +the important expedition into my hands. + +At the conclusion of the council, I asked as a special favor to be +allowed to spend a day with my beloved Madus before we set out on the +expedition. + +Nyedzviedz at first was unwilling to consent. "I know," he said, "just +how women-folk are. It is best for a soldier to have nothing to do +with them. Their tears are sure to melt a soft heart." + +But I persisted in my request, and at last received permission to +visit the Viszpa Ogrod. + +It was a beautiful autumn afternoon when I descended the steep path to +the secluded valley. While yet some distance from our little cottage, +I heard my Madus singing sweetly--I can hear her now, and see her as +she came joyfully to meet me. + +How happy she was! + +The poor child believed I had come to stop, and as I did not want to +cloud her joy, I put off until the moment of my departure, telling her +that I was again to accompany her father on a distant expedition. + +One day at least I would spend happily. So, I let my Madus tell me all +that had happened in the valley during my absence; I heard also how +much dried fruit, how many smoked trout, how many cheeses, she had in +store for the winter; how many yards of beautiful linen she had woven +from the flax she had cultivated with her own hands. + +Last of all, she exhibited, with blushing cheeks, her little +treasures: cunning little caps, and jackets, at sight of which my +heart leapt for joy in my bosom. She confided to me in a whisper that, +when Christmas should arrive, her Bethlehem crib would have received +its occupant. + +Oh, how gladly would I have remained with her! But it could not be. I +had more ambitious plans for her. I was bent on escaping with her to +the great world, where she should--as she deserved--become a fine +lady. + +After she had told me everything about herself, she asked me to relate +what I had done while absent. When I told her how successful the +expedition had proved, I found that the Madus who tended her doves +and made cheeses in the Viszpa Ogrod, was vastly different from the +Madus who had once accompanied the haidemaken expeditions. She grew +pale with horror when I described the slaughter of the caravan; and +the occurrence which resulted in my becoming the inheritor of the old +Turk's crutch, and a lame leg. She became more composed, however, when +I told her about the marvelous cure at the healing spring; and quite +recovered her composure when I gave her the image of the Holy Virgin +the prior had sent her. Ah me! that image was her death, as well as +her salvation. + +The next morning I told her I had to leave her again. She sought with +tears and caresses to dissuade me from going. She clasped her arms +around my neck, then flung herself at my feet, and clasped my +knees--she seemed unable to control her wild despair. + +I have often thought since that the poor child had a presentiment she +would never again behold me in this life. + +I sought in vain to comfort her; in vain I assured her that I would +never leave her again after I returned from this expedition, from +which I hoped to secure what would enable me to establish a home for +her in some large city. She was inconsolable. + +She accompanied me to the entrance to the rock-corridor, and would +have gone clear to the cavern, had not her father met us just as we +were entering the passage. He frightened her by saying it would be +unsafe to venture among the haidemaken in her condition, as all +robbers entertained the superstitious belief that the fourth finger +from the hand of an unborn babe rendered the possessor invulnerable to +bullet and sword. + +Nyedzviedz would not even allow a last embrace, but thrust us roughly +apart; and forced me to precede him into the corridor. I kept looking +back from time to time, so long as the entrance remained in sight. My +Madus stood, looking after me, in the circular opening of the rocky +wall; she seemed like a saint encompassed by a halo of light, and as +the corridor grew darker and more gloomy the radiant image at my back +increased in brilliance until a sudden turn hid the beautiful vision +from my sight. + +That same evening we set out for Berdiczov--four-hundred haidemaken, +with the culverin. + + +CHRISTMAS. + +It was early Autumn when we began the siege, which I conducted in so +skillful--from my point of view!--a manner, that December found us +still outside the walls of the monastery. Three times I changed the +position of our assaulting forces; but took good care every time to +select a point far enough from the walls to prevent our shots from +damaging them to any considerable extent. + +Nyedzviedz kept urging me to a nearer approach: he said we were so +distant, that the cannon-balls from the fortifications had to roll +over the ground to reach our lines. So, one day, after he had examined +the ground, and discovered what he believed to be a more advantageous +position, I was forced, in order not to rouse his suspicions, to +comply with his request. While superintending the throwing up of +intrenchments the first night I managed to secrete under the +earth-works a keg of powder, and in the morning I told the leader that +extreme caution would be necessary, now that we were so much nearer to +the fortifications, as the monks were having powder-mines laid under +our breast-works. I had heard peculiar noises during the night, I told +him, and, suspecting what was being done, I had scattered a few peas +on the head of a drum standing on the ground. The lively dancing of +the peas had convinced me that my suspicions were correct. + +But the leader was incredulous. He decided to take observations for +himself; and would spend the following night in the trenches, when he +could also watch the result of our bombardment. This would make it +impossible for me to carry out my plans for exploding the keg of +powder hidden in the breast-works. But, I was not to be outdone. I +happened to remember an expedient I had once employed with success, +and resorted to it again: I drew the fuse through a long reed, one end +of which I thrust into the keg. + +I had to be very cautious; for Nyedzviedz had a nose that could smell +a match cord at long range; but with the fuse inside the reed, I could +prevent the fumes from getting into the range of his olfactor. + +The powder exploded at the right moment, just when the leader was +bending eagerly over the breast-work to peer after a bomb. After the +smoke and dust cleared away, I drew him from under the heap of earth, +from which only his legs protruded. He had not been injured in the +least, but all desire to assault the enemy at so close a range had +fled, and I was allowed to return to our former position, on the brow +of a hill, a considerable distance farther from the fortifications. + +I consoled the dissatisfied haidemaken with the assurance that, when +the real cold weather of winter should set in, the moat would freeze +over; then it would be an easy matter to storm the walls at close +range. I did not think it necessary to tell them that the warm spring +would prevent the water in the moat from freezing. In the meantime +came Christmas--an anxiously longed-for day in many respects. With the +dawn of Christmas morning came a furious snow-storm, the north wind +flinging down on us such masses of flakes that it was impossible to +see ten steps away. + +It was just the sort of weather I had calculated on. The bombardment +had to cease, as the monastery was completely hidden from view behind +the veil of snow. The haidemaken retired to their tents, and amused +themselves, gaming with dice and cards, for what stakes do you +imagine? They had no money, remember! Why, the winner paid, and the +loser received, a box on the ear! I hadn't any fondness for the game +myself; but my comrades seemed to enjoy it hugely. + +While gaming, drinking, cursing, were going on in the other tents, I +sat in my own, alone, and silent, pondering over my past years. I +recalled the different anniversaries of the blessed day, beginning +with the first I could remember when, held in my mother's arms, I +removed from the Christmas-tree my first ginger-bread doll, which I +was loath to eat because of its beautiful golden hue. + +Then, my thoughts turned to the humble cot in the Viszpa Ogrod; and I +wondered, with a strange trembling in my bosom, if the little +Bethlehem crib, my Madus had prepared for the reception of a precious +occupant, now held its treasure. + +The monastery bells were ringing for the Christmas service; on the +bastion a long procession of monks with innumerable lamps was moving +toward the chapel. + +The wind was driving the clouds across the sky, and hundreds of +witch-forms rioted above the camp, in the faint light which came from +a mist-veiled moon. + +The snow-fall had ceased; only the wind, which was scattering the +storm-clouds, still swept with unabated vigor across the plain, +packing the fine snow more compactly together. + +Suddenly, amid the noise of carousing and shouting which came from the +neighboring tents, I heard a sound that made me drop quickly to my +knees, and lay my ear close to the ground. At last! At last! They were +coming! I could hear distinctly the hoof-beats, when they crossed the +rocky road from which the wind had swept the snow. Then, the sound +ceased--they were come to the plain where the snow muffled the noise +of the hoofs. Duke Visznovieczky's dragoons were approaching at a +brisk trot to the assistance of Berdiczov monastery. + +I did not wait for them to come up. In the dark all cows are black! I +said to myself: "It will be useless to try to convince the dragoon +who raises his sword against me that I am this one, and not the other +one!" So I wrapped myself in my mantle, slipped from the tent, and ran +fleetly toward the monastery. + +When I paused to look back, after the relief troop had begun the +attack on the robber camp, I saw the witch-dance I had seen earlier, +it had descended to the earth, and with it was joined a tumult of +demons; of black forms, and white, darting hither and thither; of +furious sword cuts; frenzied cries; mad flight, and swift pursuit! + +The early morning assault was successful. The dragoons routed the +haidemaken without a shot. What became of my comrades I cannot say, +for I continued on my way to the monastery, where I shouted myself +hoarse before the draw-bridge was lowered to admit me. + +Early mass had just been concluded. The monks with their tall +candlesticks, chanting a psalm of praise, led the procession returning +from the chapel; the cripples hobbling in the rear, hummed the +antiphony. But, hei! didn't the devout company break ranks quickly +when I appeared before them with the announcement: + +"Duke Visznovieczky's dragoons are come, and have attacked the +haidemaken camp!" + +The psalm-singing ceased at once; and, instead, everybody was +shouting: "To arms! To arms!" + +Even the canopy-bearers left the prior in the middle of the +court-yard, and ran to fetch their arms; while the cripples hopped +about on one leg and brandished their crutches and staves. + +By this time we could see that the beleaguerers were fleeing before +the dragoons in every direction. The valiant burgers who, at the +beginning of the siege, had taken refuge in the monastery, could now +no longer repress their heroic feelings. Seizing whatever would serve +as a weapon, the brave fellows dashed across the draw-bridge and sped +toward the field of battle; the reverend fathers followed at a more +dignified pace; the cripples brought up the rear, and assisted the +worthy burgers to complete the work of destruction begun by the +dragoons, by cutting off the feet of those haidemaken who had already +been decapitated. + +Whether Nyedzviedz had succeeded in escaping the fate of many of his +comrades, I could not learn then; nor did I care! I was too thankful +that I had been spared from destruction and delivered from the clutch +of the robber-band. Therewith ended my career as a haidemak. + +The prisoner here paused in his confession, feeling that he, as well +as the court, needed a rest. + +"I am inclined to believe," observed the prince, "that the accused +rehabilitated himself through his valiant act. So much as he sinned, +so much he made good! He was healed by a miracle of God; therefore, it +behooves us earthly judges to consider well before we pass sentence +where the Heavenly Judge granted absolution." + +To this the chair, with obvious irritation, made reply: "If your +highness intends to permit this malefactor to extenuate, in a like +manner, all the rest of his misdeeds, when he gets to the end of the +list we shall feel that he deserves canonization instead of +punishment." + + + + +PART III. + +IN THE SERVICE OF THE DUKE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +MALACHI. + + +The next day the prisoner continued his confession: + +My experience at Berdiczov monastery, my deliverance from destruction, +as well as the miraculous restoration of my crippled limb, decided me +to adopt the faith of the holy brotherhood. + +Their solemn ceremonies, their elevating devotions, their piety, made +a deep impression on me; but the most comforting to me of all their +rites was that of the confessional. + +It was such a comfort to unbosom myself to one in whom I could trust +implicitly; to confide in him all the secrets that tortured my dreams +by night, and my thoughts by day. And then, to receive absolution--to +get back, as it were, the bond I had given to Satan! + +One day was not long enough for all I had to tell. I could have spent +every day of the week in the confessional, pouring into the ear of the +good Father Agapitus the sins which burdened my conscience. And one +day I confessed, too, that I was becoming weary of the life in the +monastery, where there was nothing to do but tend to the sick all day +long; and that I wanted to go back to the world--if not to my former +sinful life. + +After I had confessed, I ventured to ask the worthy father to +recommend me to some Polish noble, with whom I should have little work +and much amusement. There were many such places, I said, where the +services of a man of my stamp were required. + +"My dear son," returned the worthy father, "I cannot recommend you to +a Christian man of the world, for, although I could tell him that you +are a pious confrater now, I could not say that you have always been +honest. I know just the contrary, and I cannot give false witness. But +I will do what I can for you. Here is the crutch you left with us--the +gold is still in it. Take it, garb yourself in beggar raiment, and +limp to Lemberg, where lives a Master Malachi in the Jewish quarter of +the city. You need only to inquire for him, and you will be directed +to his house. He is a wicked man, in league with Satan. He deserves to +have been sent to the scaffold long ago--and he will get there should +the Inquisition be established. Malachi is the man for your needs. +Tell him what you require, he will understand you--especially if you +tell him what your crutch contains!" + +I could understand clearly that a pious man like Father Agapitus could +do nothing for me--so notorious a sinner! He could not give me a +letter of recommendation, with false dates; it was enough if he +directed me where to find an accomplished counterfeiter, who could +supply my wants. So, I kissed his hand in gratitude; bade him +farewell, and, with my crutch under my shoulder, set out for Lemberg, +begging my way so that no one should suspect that I carried in my +crutch the wherewith to pay for food and lodging. + +When I arrived in Lemberg I repaired at once to the Jews' quarter, +where the streets are so narrow two wagons cannot pass one another. +Directly I entered the principal thoroughfare, which seemed a +veritable rag-fair from one end to the other, I was surrounded by a +swarm of noisy children. + +I took from my pocket a denarius, held it up before them, and said I +would give it to the lad who would conduct me to the house of Malachi, +whereupon the youngsters began to quarrel as to which of them should +become the possessor of the coin. The largest scamp among them, who +succeeded by force of his superior size and strength to vanquish his +fellows, offered himself as guide. + +He led me a pretty chase, through numerous byways and alleys, where +there was hardly room for two persons to pass, to a shop in front of +which was sitting an aged dame, with her cap drawn down to her +eyebrows. + +Said my guide, after I had placed the denarius in his hand: + +"This woman knows where Malachi lives--she will tell you;" and before +I could stop him, the little rascal was off down the street as fast +as his legs could carry him. + +I turned to the crone, who kept nodding her old head as if she were +assenting to anything I might say to her, took from my pocket a +_Marien-groschen_, and holding it toward her, said: + +"Here, mother, this pretty coin shall be yours if you will direct me +to Malachi's house." + +She nodded--as much as to say "very good;" rose from her chair, +shuffled into the shop, where she filled a small vial with red Polish +brandy. This she handed to me with one hand, at the same time +extending the other for the money. + +"I don't want brandy--I want to know where Malachi lives?" I shouted +at the top of my voice. + +The dame trotted back into the shop and brought a bottle of green +Russian brandy. + +The little scamp had left me to deal with a deaf woman! When I bawled +into her ear for the third time the name of Malachi, she fetched from +the shop a packet of insect powder which she offered in exchange for +the _Marien-groschen_. + +Then I bethought me of an expedient which is usually successful in +like cases: I took from my pocket a crown and held it toward the dame. +This cure for deafness proved effective. + +"Oh, you want to find Malachi?" she said in a cautious whisper, +nodding understandingly. "Follow me." + +She closed and locked the shop-door, opened a little gate at the +corner of the house, led me across a vegetable garden hung with +soiled clothes; across a second; thence through a narrow passage, +between two old buildings, into a wood-shed; from there into a cellar; +then over a swinging bridge across an ill-smelling canal; and, lastly, +through a long, seemingly interminable corridor, at the end of which +she knocked with her staff at a wooden door, at the same time +whispering in my ear, and taking the crown from my hand: + +"I can't tell you where Malachi lives; but I have brought you to the +thaumaturgus, who knows everything; he will tell you where to find +Malachi." + +The door opened, and I saw before me a venerable man with silvery hair +and beard. He was blind. His tall form was enveloped in a black silk +robe girt about the waist by an oriental sash. From his garb, I +concluded that a coin of greater value would be necessary to procure +the information I desired. + +"Are you the man who knows everything?" I inquired. + +The old gentleman was not in the least chary of words. With great +readiness he declared that he understood the language of the birds of +the air; the speech of the beasts of the field; that he could converse +with dragons; could discover subterranean springs; could tell any man +whether or no he was the son of his father; could even understand the +tongue in which demons spake-- + +"But," I interrupted, "I don't want to know any of these things. If +you will tell me where Malachi lives, I will pay for the information." + +"Ah, my son!" he responded, turning his sightless eyes heavenward; +"that is a difficult question to answer. There are in this world as +many Malachis as there are flowers in the field, and stars in the sky. +There are seventy-seven in this very city; a Malachi Mizraim; a +Malachi Meschugge; a Malachi Choschen; Malachi Pinkas; Malachi +Honnowas--How do I know which Malachi you want?" + +"I want the one who is a--counterfeiter," I answered, with some +hesitation. + +"Ah, my son!" again ejaculated the venerable sage, shaking his head +sadly, "how sorry I am to hear that you are on such evil ways! All the +Malachis with whom I have to do are honest, God-fearing men." + +I saw plainly that I should have to assist the old gentleman's memory; +I pressed a gold coin into his palm. He turned it over and over in his +fingers; tested it in various ways; and, after convincing himself that +it was genuine, he delivered this apothegmatic solution of the riddle: + +"My son, he whom you seek, I cannot find. I have never seen him--I am +blind. We will consult the Miracle." + +He stepped back into the room, to the table, where he groped about +with his hands among the different objects, until he found a long +steel needle. This he thrust between the leaves of a heavy book lying +on the table, opened it, and placing his forefinger at the point of +the needle, where it rested on the page, said, in a prophetic tone: + +"He whom the Miracle designates is Ben Malachi Peixoto, the +Portuguese--not I, but the Miracle says so." + +"And where shall I find this Portuguese?" I asked. + +"When you go from the door of my dwelling, you will find his directly +opposite. Knock twice, then once, then twice again, and you will be +admitted. And now, my son, go your way in peace!" + +A stocky youth, with a candle, conducted me down a dark stairway, +opened the door, and I found myself in the same street from which I +had started on my quest. Malachi's house was the first one on the +corner. I had been led a tramp, for half a day, hither and thither, up +and down, through the entire Ghetto, to reach the first house in it! + +I knocked on the door as I had been directed; it was opened by a +quince-colored lad. I cannot say for certain whether it was a lad or a +lass, I think, though, it was a lad. I could not understand the +language he spoke--indeed, I don't believe it was a language at all! +He conducted me up a creaking staircase, into a darkened room, in the +corner of which crouched a human form with its back to the door. He +did not turn at my entrance, but kept his face turned from me all the +time I was in the room. + +In front of him was a mirror in which he could see my reflection. The +fleeting glimpse I caught of his face in the glass, told me that the +mysterious creature had no beard; his face was quite smooth, which I +believe is the fashion among Portuguese Jews; it had been embrocated +with orpiment, which eats off the hair of the beard--a Mosaic law +prohibiting the use of metal to remove hair from the face. + +"Is Malachi at home?" I inquired. + +"Malachi is at home; what do you want of him?" + +The man spoke in the third person, so that I could not have sworn that +he to whom I addressed my inquiries was Malachi or not. + +"I will tell you my errand as briefly as possible," said I. "I want to +secure a position in the household of Duke Visznovieczky, and require +a patent of nobility to certify to my noble birth. I also want an +academic testimonial; a certificate of baptism and confirmation in the +Roman Catholic Church; and, lastly, I want a letter of recommendation +from some grand duke or other, which testifies to my erudition, and +skill in all the sciences, as well as to my excellent character. Of +course I don't expect you to furnish me with all these documents for +nothing. I am willing to pay your price for them. How much do you +ask?" + +The man replied to my reflection in the mirror: "Malachi's answer to +your insolent request is: You have applied to the wrong person. +Malachi does not meddle with such criminal doings. Moreover, Malachi +has nothing whatever to do with ragged beggars like yourself. If you +desire to become such a knight as you describe, and have the money to +pay for the transformation, go to Malachi's cousin, Malchus, the +tailor, who sells gentlemen's clothing. He lives on the corner of +Bethel street, beside the fountain. From him you can buy all manner of +fine raiment. Malchus will transform you to a noble knight--if you +have the money to pay for it. And now be gone from here, and don't +come back again, for Malachi is an honest man whose lips do not utter +falsehoods; his fingers have never been stained with the ink of +forgery." + +Firmly believing that he was the Malachi I sought, I departed from his +house with a disappointed heart, and betook myself to Bethel street, +to the house beside the fountain, where I found Malchus the tailor. I +would at least exchange my beggar's garb for the raiment of a +gentleman. + +"How glad I am to see your lordship again!" exclaimed the little man, +as I stepped into his door. "May I become as the dust of the street, +if it doesn't seem a hundred years since I saw you last! But, does +your lordship imagine I could fail to recognize the noble knight +Zdenko Kochanovszki, who, in fulfillment of a vow, journeyed on foot, +and garbed as a pilgrim, to Jerusalem and back? Have not I, Malchus +the tailor, eyes to see? I'll wager my head against a button, that +nobody but myself would recognize your lordship in those ragged +garments. Could the beautiful Persida, from whom your lordship +received the magnificent wreath at the tournament, see you now, she +would say: 'Give this ragged beggar a penny, and drive him away.' She +is a duchess now, the wife of the powerful Duke Visznovieczki. But _I_ +have not forgotten your lordship; I still have the clothes your +lordship left in pledge with me--also the embroidered leather-belt +with the bag containing the documents. I kept them all, safely +concealed, for I knew your lordship, the brave and noble Zdenko +Kochanovszki, would return from the holy land and redeem his pledge." + +I saw at once that I should have to accept the personality thrust upon +me by the loquacious little tailor, and call myself Zdenko +Kochanovszki; and when I found how admirably the puissant knight's +cast-off garments fitted me, I no longer hesitated to take possession +of his name also. + +And that is how I became Zdenko Kochanovszki. When I was completely +garbed--and a stately mazar, I looked in the knight's habiliments!--I +asked Malchus what was to pay. + +"Why, surely your lordship remembers the sum I advanced on the +clothes? Of course, I did not count in the loan the jeweled clasps +your lordship desired to be sent to the beautiful Persida; so you owe +me only a round hundred ducats--" + +"A hundred ducats?" I repeated in consternation. "Why there isn't in +all Poland a waywode who can boast of so costly a suit of clothes." + +Malchus smiled slyly: "That is very true, my lord, and there is not in +all Poland a magnate who can boast of more valuable documents than +those in the bag attached to your lordship's leather-belt. When your +lordship left them with me and charged me to care for them as for the +apple of my eye, I knew they must be of great importance. So I have +kept them safely concealed all these years. I don't know what the +papers contain as I can read only what I write with my own hand. I +don't understand Latin, or Greek; and I don't know how to read from +left to right; consequently your lordship may believe me when I say I +have not read the papers. Your lordship will find everything in the +bag just as when it was placed in my hands for safe keeping." + +I opened the bag, and, on examining the documents, found to my +surprise and delight that they were just what I wanted. There was a +patent of nobility, with a Turk's head in the crest--(concerning the +Turk's head I might justly have appropriated it for my own escutcheon, +only I had not come into possession of it on the battlefield!) There +was also an academic certificate, from the Rector of Sarbonne, with +the baccalaureate degree; also certificates of baptism and +confirmation, signed by the bishop of Cracow; a testimonial of valor +from the imperial commander-in-chief, Montecucculi; and a pardon from +the patriarch of Jerusalem--such as are bestowed on pilgrims to the +Holy Sepulchre--all of which were the property of Zdenko +Kochanovszki--who I was! + +Malchus continued to smile slyly while I was examining the documents, +and when I had read the last one he said: + +"Doesn't your lordship think these handsome clothes are worth one +hundred ducats?" + +I gave him a hearty slap on the back; then counted out a "round +hundred ducats." The clothes were not worth one-tenth that sum, but I +was quite satisfied with my purchase. + +I was now fully equipped for my entrance to the ducal palace; as +Zdenko Kochanovszki I might without hesitation seek admittance +anywhere. + +He to whom the name rightly belonged had disappeared eight years +before, and had most likely lost his life in the Holy Land, or in the +battle with the infidels in Hungary. Whoever still remembered the +beardless youth, would not wonder at the great change eight years of +hardship and danger had made in him; and would expect to find the man +a different looking person from the boy. As for my looks--I doubt if +my own mother would have recognized me. + +The duke was an old man, of a girth so enormous that he was obliged to +wear a broad surcingle as support to his rotund paunch. His hair and +beard were gray on the right side, but black on the left, which gave +him a very peculiar appearance. + +When I presented myself before him, he seized both my hands, and +exclaimed: + +"What! Zdenko Kochanovszki back again? The devil! What a man you are +grown! Do you remember what we did at parting?" + +I was confused for a moment: how was I to remember what I had never +known? However, I had to reply, so I stammered what I thought the most +probable: + +"We drank to each other, your grace." + +"By heaven, you are right, lad! That is what we did! But, do you also +remember our wager?" + +I ventured another guess, and answered: + +"Each wagered he could drink the other under the table." + +"Ha, ha, ha! Right--right!" shouted his grace, embracing and kissing +me. "That's what we wagered--and the devil fly away with me if I +don't match you again this very moment! Ho, there, fetch the bratina." + +The bratina is a huge golden beaker that holds two quarts. This was +brought to me, filled with Hegyaljaner wine. + +Now, I had fasted for many hours, and was both hungry and thirsty, so +that it did not require much of an effort on my part to empty the +bratina at a draught--to the supernaculum! + +"The devil fetch me!" roared the jovial duke. "If I had not recognized +you already, I should know you now!" + +I had no difficulty drinking his grace under the table; and from that +hour I became an important member of his household. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +PERSIDA. + + +"_Crimen falsi_," dictated the chair to the notary. + +"But"--the prince made haste to add--"But, _immediatum_, not +_spontaneum_. The accused was led to the indirect committal of the act +by the instructions of Father Agapitus; the real criminal is a Jew--it +is he who deserves the stake. Therefore, the prisoner's transgression +may be remitted." + +"If this continues," grumblingly commented the chair, "the prisoner +will surely talk himself out of every one of his crimes. +Well"--addressing himself to the accused--"I don't know what to call +you, but for the time being Zdenko Kochanovszki, continue." + +Under that name, your honor, resumed Hugo, I lived the most memorable +days of my life. I was treated by the duke as a good comrade and +familiar friend. We hunted together for days in the ducal forests +slaying the wild bulls and bears by the hundreds; and when we returned +to the palace the merry-making began. There would be feasting and +drinking; the most enchanting music by a band of Bohemian players; the +court-fools would amuse us with all sorts of buffoonery; and when any +of the jovial company succumbed to the beaker and tumbled under the +table the attendants carried them to bed. Not infrequently it happened +that his grace and myself would be the only two left at the table--we +being able to stand more than the others. + +At times, too, I would entertain the company by relating the most +wonderful tales of my pilgrimage, which were listened to with close +attention. + +In all this time I had not seen a single woman about the palace. + +The grand-duchess was absent on a pilgrimage to Berdiczov, in +fulfillment of a vow. I learned from one of the guests that the duke's +marriage had not been blessed with an heir, and this was why the +duchess had undertaken the devout journey. As she knew she should be +absent several weeks, she took with her all the women servants, as +well as her ladies-in-waiting--from which I guessed the fair Persida +to be a shrewd, as well as a beautiful woman. + +I waited her grace's return with no little apprehension, for, with the +exception of the grand duke himself, every one about the palace knew +that Zdenko Kochanovszki had been a devoted admirer of the lady before +her marriage. Indeed, it was said that her marriage to the rich old +duke had sent the youthful Zdenko on his pilgrimage. + +That all this was unknown to his grace was certain, else the reception +accorded to me, whom he believed to be his former boon companion, +would not have been so cordial. + +There would be some sport when the lady returned home. + +Would she, too, see in me her quondam admirer? What would happen to me +if the eyes of a loving woman should prove more keen than those of +her husband? What would be the result if she saw through my +masquerade? If she should say: "Away with this rogue--he is a +deceiver! I know what dwells in the eyes of the true Zdenko, for I +have looked into them. These are not Zdenko's eyes." + +And again: what would happen if she should believe me to be her +one-time lover? and question me as her husband had done: "Do you +remember the promise we gave to each other?" And, suppose I should be +as lucky in guessing the reply as before! + + * * * * * + +The duke spoke boastfully of his dragoon's victory over the haidemaken +before the walls of Berdiczov monastery. The robbers had been mowed +down like grain; only the leader and a few of his men had escaped by +the skin of their teeth; their field-gun had been captured and the +gunner hanged on one of the tallest trees--your honors may guess that +I took good care not to deny this statement! + +I praised the duke's heroism, and listened attentively to his tales +about the terrible haidemaken, as if I had never heard of them before. + +At last, one fine day, the pilgrims returned from Berdiczov; and the +joyous sound of women's voices was heard in the palace. Master and man +hastened to welcome the fair ones. I alone had no one to greet. + +I was very curious to see what manner of woman the beautiful Persida +might be--she for whose sake the owner of my name had gone out into +the wide world. + +The duke hastened to assist her from the carriage on the arrival of +the caravan. She was very graceful--tall, with a pale face, large, +dark languishing eyes, full red lips, and coal black hair. + +When her spouse pressed his moist moustache to her lips, she made a +grimace. He was overjoyed at her return. The duke's guests and +attendants welcomed the returned duchess, each in their own fashion; +the former pressed their lips to her hand; the latter kissed the hem +of her robe. I did not want my first meeting with her grace to take +place in the presence of the entire household; but the duke called me +from the hall, where I had withdrawn, and said: + +"See here, my love, who is this? Look at him, and tell me if you +recognize the lad?" + +I was afraid to meet the glance which scrutinized my features--I felt +that I should be compelled to blurt out: + +"I am Baran, gunner of the haidemaken." + +"You don't recognize him, do you?" again said the duke. "I knew you +wouldn't. 'Tis our long absent comrade Zdenko Kochanovszki." + +For one single instant I saw into that woman's soul. At mention of my +name, a sudden light leapt into her eyes--a world of passion flamed +for one brief instant. + +Her husband had not seen it, only I. Then the beautiful eyes became +cold again, and indifferent, and the queenly head was gravely bent in +recognition of an old acquaintance, the slender fingers were extended +for the formal kiss of greeting. + +She did not vouchsafe another glance toward me, but turned toward the +duke, laid her hand on his arm, and said with sudden friendliness: + +"_Comment vous portez-vous, mon petit drôle?_" + +Although her grace took no further notice of me, I saw my way clear +for the future. + +With the return of the duchess the household regulations underwent a +complete change. The noisy tipplers received their _congé_; the +nightly carousals came to an end. Quite a different mode of life had +been prescribed by the prior of the monastery for the ducal pair, if +they wished his blessing to have the desired effect. All fast days +were to be strictly observed; they might eat only sparingly of the +plainest food--only of those dishes which conduce to strength: snails, +frogs, and those vegetables which grow under ground. + +This sort of diet, as you may guess, was not suited to the palates of +the duke's guests. One after another took his departure, until none +remained but myself; and I had become indispensable to his grace, +because of my ability to amuse him with adventurous tales. + +Every evening the duchess would send for me to read aloud in a +religious book, about saints, until the duke would become sleepy. Her +grace continued to treat me with extreme reserve; she never lifted her +eyes to mine when she spoke to me, but always kept them lowered, as if +she were addressing her remarks to my boots. + +She appeared to be extraordinarily pious; she would repeat a long +prayer before and at the end of every meal. She never called me by +name--always "Sir." Indeed, the only time she unbent from her frigid +reserve, was, when she patted her husband's fat, bearded cheek, or +pulled his moustache, to restore him to a good humor; but these +occasions were rare. + +Before the duke retired for the night, the duchess prepared with her +own fair hands his slumber draught, the recipe for which she had +received from the prior of Berdiczov monastery. It was composed of all +sorts of costly spices--an enumeration of which I may repeat later, +should I take up the trade of concocting various potations, the +efficacy of which may not be doubted. + +The chief ingredient of the duke's sleeping potion was hot, red wine; +and he was wont to smack his lips and exclaim after he had emptied the +glass: + +"Ah!--my love, that has quite rejuvenated me." He would spring lightly +as a youth from his arm-chair, take his wife's hand, and gallantly +conduct her to their private chambers, leaving me to the solitary +perusal of the pious volume--to learn what had happened to St. +Genevieve, when Attila's Huns besieged Paris. + +One evening we were engaged as usual with our instructive reading. The +duke and his wife were seated in front of the fire-place; I, as +always, occupied a chair at the table on which rested the ponderous +"History of the Saints and Martyrs." I had been reading for an hour +and more, how St. Genevieve had relieved Paris a second time from +famine, when the duke suddenly interrupted to say he was so thirsty he +must beg that his nightly potion be given to him at once. His wife +prepared it for him; but, instead of rising to retire to his own rooms +as usual, after he had emptied the glass, he settled himself back in +his chair, clasped his hands over his paunch, and in a few minutes his +powerful snoring again interrupted the reading. + +The duchess looked at him for several moments with an indescribable +expression on her lovely face--a mixture of loathing, rage, and +contempt; then, she sprang to her feet, came swiftly toward the table +where I was sitting, and gave it so vigorous a thrust with her foot +that it toppled over and fell, together with the Saints and Martyrs, +to the floor with a loud noise. His grace did not stir; his snores +continued with unabated vigor. + +Before I had recovered from my astonishment at her grace's behavior, +she seated herself on my knee and flung her arms around my neck: + +"So you have come back to me, Zdenko? Tell me, do you still love me?" +she asked in a passionate whisper, at the same time making it +impossible for me to reply-- + +"Stop!" here interrupted the chair: "I don't quite understand how that +could be?" + +"I do," promptly, and succinctly interposed the prince. "Continue, +prisoner, what happened next?" + +I hardly know how to tell it, your highness. It was like a dream of +paradise! I knew that every kiss I received and returned was deceit, +robbery, sacrilege; I knew I was cheating the house which sheltered +me; the master of the house who fed me; the unknown man whose name I +bore--the woman--God--the devil--all--all. And yet, were you to ask me +what I should do were I to be placed in the same situation again, I +should reply: "Just what I did then--and if it cost me my life!" + +"Hardened reprobate!" exclaimed the chair in a tone of reprimand. Then +he dictated to the notary: "_Adulterium cum stellionatum_--" + +"But," hastily interposed the prince, "he did not begin it. In this +case, as in that of Father Adam: the woman was to blame. The prisoner +will continue." + +I know it was a great crime--I know it very well, and it oppresses my +soul to this day, although I have received absolution for it. In that +moment of oblivion to all things earthly, the lovely Persida whispered +in my ear: + +"Zdenko, if you could journey to the Holy Land for love of me you +could also endure a season of purgatory for my sake, could you not?" + +Without stopping to consider, I answered: + +"Certainly I could!" + +"Very well, then, do not confess this sin which is half mine. Do not +confide it to priest, or saint, for no matter to whom you might +confess, misfortune would come to me as well as to you." + +I promised not to confess the sin; but I went about with it weighting +my soul, much as a wounded stag roams the forest with a dart in his +vitals. + +The old duke at last became so devout that he compelled every member +of his household to repair to the confessional in his private chapel, +every fast day. There was nothing to be seen of the priest who +received the penitents, but his hand, in which he held a long ivory +wand with which he would touch the penitent as a sign that absolution +had been granted. + +The duke confessed first; after him the duchess; then I, the +house-friend, and major-domo of the ducal household. When my turn +came, I took my place before the lattice and said to the confessor: +"Father, will you give me your word of honor that you will never tell +what I confess to you?" + +"Don't ask such silly questions, my son," he replied. "Don't you know +that the secrets of the confessional are inviolably sacred?" + +"But, suppose you should tell them sometime?" I persisted. + +"Then I should be burned at the stake." + +"Has it never happened that a priest betrayed the secrets confided to +him in the confessional?" I asked again. + +"Such a case is not on record, my son. Not even the confession of a +murderer may be revealed, though the priest knows that an innocent man +will be hanged for the crime. He dare not speak to prevent the law +from committing another murder. On the other hand, many a priest has +suffered martyrdom rather than betray the secrets confided to him. An +illustrious example is Saint Nepomuck, of whom I dare say you have +heard?" + +"Yes, I have read about John Nepomucene; but are you a saint of that +order?" + +"The vows I have taken, my son, are the same he took." + +"That is not enough, father; you must swear to me that you will never +reveal what I tell you." + +And his reverence had to yield to my importunate request before I +would make my confession to him. After he had solemnly sworn never to +reveal what I should tell him, I made a clean breast of +everything--and a rare list it was I can tell you! + +At the last transgression, however, I made a pause. I remembered what +Persida had said to me. And yet, the sin I shared with her was the +very one that most oppressed my soul. + +The father noticed my hesitation, and said: + +"My son, you are keeping back something. You have not told me +everything. It is not likely that a stately young gentleman like +yourself lives only on caraway-soup! There are many handsome women in +this city; every one of them confesses her foibles--you, surely, are +not the only saint about here! Remember, if you withhold but a single +transgression, your tortures in purgatory will be the same as for +nine-hundred and ninety-nine." + +The reverend father continued to threaten me with purgatorial fires, +until at last I confided in him the secret which was only half mine. I +had no sooner done so than I regretted it; I would have given anything +could I have recalled my words--nay, I would willingly have journeyed +straightway to purgatory, as I had told Persida I would, rather than +betray the secret we shared together. But the secrets of a sinful love +have wings--they will escape somehow. + +When I bent forward to receive the reverend father's benediction, he +gave me such a thump on the head with his wand that the spot remained +sore to the touch for several days. + +"He absolves one with a will, and no mistake!" I said to myself as I +rose to go my way. It occurred to me for an instant, that it would be +exceedingly comical if, instead of a priest, it had been the duke who +received my confession. I turned to look toward his grace's arm-chair, +and was relieved to see that his burly form occupied it, and that he +was wrapped in devout slumber. + + +THE IRON NECKLACE. + +Freed from the burden of my transgressions, I proceeded to do what is +usually done by the prodigal sons who have been relieved of their old +debts--I set about at once to make new ones. + +I looked forward with impatience for evening to arrive, for the hour +of instructive reading in the book of Saints and Martyrs. + +On this particular evening the duke was even more friendly toward me +than usual; he jested with me, and frequently compelled me to exchange +glasses with him as a sign of his cordial friendship. + +When the hour arrived for the duchess to prepare the "rejuvenating +sleeping potion," his grace became actually boisterous; his fat face +grew crimson, his rotund paunch shook like jelly, with his incessant +laughter. + +"See here, comrade," he exclaimed, taking from his wife's hand the +goblet in which the hot, spiced wine was steaming, "this is a drink +of paradise! When I have emptied it into my stomach, I fly direct to +paradise--not the one described by our holy men, where all the men are +old, and all the women pious; where there is neither eating nor +drinking and where there are no amusements save harp-playing and psalm +singing--no, I fly straightway to the improved paradise of the +Mohammedans, where there is wine to drink and women to admire. There +an enchanting Greek _Hetäre_ offers you the wine of Cyprus; the Roman +bacchante offers Falernian wine; the Spanish donna serves Maderia; the +Lesbian siren gives you nectar; the Persian bayadere brings Shiraz; +the Wallachian fairy, Tokay; and the negress Abelera dips up sparkling +Bordeaux in the hollow of her dusky palm and holds it to your +lips--each more beautiful than the other, until at last you cannot +decide which of the wines is the most delicious. That is _I_ cannot, +for you have not yet made the journey. But you shall; for are not we +good comrades--you and I? Is it not meet that I should let my heart's +brother enjoy paradisal delights with me? To be sure it is! Very good! +You shall go in my stead this very evening to Mohammed's paradise--but +only this once, mind you! Here, take the glass, empty it to the +dregs!" I was exceedingly embarrassed; I looked questioningly toward +the duchess, who was seated on the arm of her husband's chair. He +could not see her nod her head as if to say, "Do as you are bid." + +I took the goblet and emptied it to the dregs. Almost immediately I +was overcome by a languor that seemed to transform my material body +to vapor. I rose from the earth to the clouds which assumed the most +fantastic shapes; on and on the breeze wafted me; over enchanting +regions, amid talking trees and singing fruits; across a sea of +radiant light swept by waves of harmony--amid music, and color, and +perfumes, the quintessence of sweetness, amid gorgeous flames which +became forms of transcendent loveliness: Delilah; Bathsheba; Salome; +Laďs; Aspasia; Cleopatra; Semiramis; Circe; and the dusky Atalanta. +The seductive forms gathered around me; they pressed toward me, +smiling alluringly. They thrust on to every one of my fingers rings +that glittered with diamonds, rubies, sapphires, until my hands became +so heavy I could not lift them. Their embraces strangled me; their +kisses burned on my face and neck like fire; the dusky Atalanta's +coral lips drew the blood from my veins-- + +"Are you never going to waken from your satanic dream?" impatiently +interrupted the chair. + +"Let him dream--it is rather pleasant," interposed the prince; but +Hugo said: + +"I am awake. The place in which I found myself, when I opened my eyes, +was not Mohammed's paradise, but an underground dungeon, the walls of +which were dripping with moisture. The flickering light of a small +lamp faintly illumined the narrow cell; and the rings which weighted +my hands were heavy iron chains that creaked and clinked every +movement I made. The kisses which burned on my face and neck were not +from the lips of Delilah, Circe, and the rest; but from those +horrible hundred-legged creatures, scolopendra, which covered my body; +and the dusky Atalanta, who drew the blood from my neck, was nothing +less than a hideous vampyre. The embraces which strangled me were not +from the white arms of enchantresses, but from an iron band two inches +thick and three fingers wide, fastened about my neck, and secured to a +ring in the wall by a chain, that was only long enough to allow me to +reach and convey to my mouth the mouldy bread and jug of water placed +by my side--" + +"Served you right, you godless miscreant!" interpolated the chair in a +severe tone. "You got your just deserts at last!" + +At first--continued the prisoner--I consoled myself with the foolish +thought that I was still under the influence of the sleeping potion. I +remembered that those persons who eat the flesh of sharks are said to +have such dreams: delightful visions at first, followed by the +tortures of martyrdom. + +But the iron neck-band was too painful a reality for me to remain long +in doubt as to whether I was awake, or dreaming. The cold, hard, heavy +ring betrothed me to death! + +How long a time I passed in thinking over what had happened I can't +say; there was no night, no day, in that dungeon; nor was I told by +sleep and hunger when it was midnight or noon. + +The lamp in my cell was a perpetual one, for the oil did not grow +less; it was there, doubtless, to reveal to me all the horrors of my +surroundings. Reptiles, all manner of creeping and crawling creatures +moved over the stone floor and walls; vampyres hung in rows from the +ceiling, watching me with their garnet eyes, ready to flash down on me +the moment I lost consciousness in sleep. + +At last a sound roused me from the stupor into which I had fallen; a +key turned in the lock, the iron door opened, and a tall man, whose +face was hidden by a capuchin, entered, with a jug of water and a loaf +of bread. + +"Well, my lad," he exclaimed, on seeing that I had not touched the +bread or the water by my side. "Do you propose to starve yourself?" + +His voice sounded strangely familiar; I did not have to trouble my +brain guessing where I had heard it before; he pushed back his +capuchin, and I recognized the haidemaken priest who had performed the +ceremony of confirmation over me in the cavern. + +"You are the haidemaken pater?" I whispered hoarsely, not trusting +myself to speak aloud. + +"Then you recognize me, do you?" he returned, laughing. "I had an idea +you would deny all knowledge of our former comradeship." + +"Are you the gaoler here?" I asked. + +"The gaoler?" he repeated, laughing again. "Not by a good deal! I am +the court-confessor!" He sat down on the stone seat to which I was +chained, and continued: "I dare say you are curious to learn how I +come to be here? Well, when the duke's dragoons attacked the +haidemaken at Berdiczov, I hastily donned my chasuble and capuchin, +trusting to the vestments to save my life, which they did; but I was +taken prisoner and brought to the duke. I could not deny that I was a +haidemak, but his grace evidently had use for a person like myself, +for he said to me: "You deserve to be hanged, reverend father, but I +will spare your life on condition that you accept a proposition I +shall offer you: I want you to act the part of court-confessor for a +season, to receive the confessions of those persons I shall send to +you. I suspect my wife of infidelity, but cannot find out who is the +partner of her guilt. They both confess to the court-chaplain I have +no doubt, but he is an honest old saint who would let himself be torn +to pieces rather than betray the secrets confided to him in the +confessional. Now, you are of a different pattern; it will not matter +to you if the fires of purgatory are heated a few degrees hotter for +your purification. If you don't accept my conditions you will have the +opportunity at once of testing the temperature of purgatory; if you +accept you shall have a respite. What do you say? Will you become my +court-confessor?" + +"You may believe, lad, that I would have acceded to a much more +difficult proposition in order to save my neck from the gallows; so I +became confessor to the ducal household. When I saw you coming toward +the confessional I recognized you at once, and guessed that you would +have some pretty sins to get rid of. I was not surprised when you told +me of your sinful dalliance with the beautiful young duchess; and +quite envied your good fortune. I said to myself, 'I will not betray +the lad; but make him do penance for the sin,' so I ordered you to put +seven dried peas in each shoe and journey on foot to the shrine of +the Holy Virgin at Berdiczov. Had you been content to do as I bade +you, you would not be here now; but you began to haggle with me about +the peas--you urged me to let you boil them before you put them into +your shoes; and, to win my indulgence, you told me of the good turn +you had done the monks of Berdiczov by betraying the haidemaken into +the hands of the duke's dragoons. Ha! but didn't I want to fly at your +throat when I heard that! I wanted to strangle you, I was so enraged +to hear that it was you who had betrayed us and frustrated our fine +plans to secure the monks' treasure. However, I contented myself with +giving you a sound rap on the head and straightway communicated to his +grace what you had confessed. You have got for your reward the entire +ducal property, for you are chained to it so securely you cannot get +away from it." + +The next query I put to the cursed haidemaken priest was: "What has +been done with the duchess?" + +"You need not trouble yourself about her highness, my son; the duke is +too shrewd a man of the world to make public the disgrace of his +house. The beautiful Persida does not know that she has been betrayed. +The causes assigned for your incarceration are forgery; the usurpation +of the name of a noble knight; and for being a member of a robber +band--for all of which you deserve death. That you have been condemned +to suffer a hundred deaths for your dalliance with the lovely Persida, +instead of only one for the transgressions assigned, no one will ever +know. As for the duchess: one of these fine days she will, after +eating a peach or a pear, get a severe colic that will result in her +death. The funeral ceremonies in the Vieznovieczky palace will be most +imposing--and that will be the end of her grace. It might come to +pass, however, that the obsequies of his grace might precede those of +the duchess. It depends on which of the ducal pair gets the better of +the other! But, you have only yourself to think of, my son. I am here +to offer you one of two alternatives: Ask to be tried before a court +which will sentence you to immediate death on the wheel--unless the +duke out of compassion for a good comrade orders your head to be cut +off. The other alternative is: Elect to remain in this hole, chained +to the wall, battling with vermin while you live, and becoming food +for them when the breath leaves your body. _Tertium non datur._" + +To this I made answer that I preferred to be executed without delay, +even were I to be broiled on a gridiron over a slow fire. I was quite +ready to die. + +"Very well, my son, then I will proceed at once to administer to you +the last sacraments--" + +"Go to the devil!" I cried furiously, when he approached me with the +wafer he had taken from his pocket. "I won't have any more of your +cursed mummery. You are no better than I am--you too are sure to go to +hell!" + +"That is more than likely, my son," responded the accursed priest +composedly. "The only difference between us is in the manner of our +journeying thither. You will travel on foot--I on wheels. So, don't +you think it would be well to let me give you a lift on the way? With +the heavy pack of sins on your back you might hang on to the +tail-board of my wagon!" + +I could not help but laugh at the rascal, so I said: "Very well, if +your blessing will help me over the road more quickly, go ahead and +let's have it!--and may the devil fly away with you!" + +He thrust the wafer down my throat and I had hardly got it comfortably +swallowed when I fell into a deep sleep. The wafer contained a +powerful narcotic. + + +THE WHITE DOVE. + +In my death-like sleep I still saw the dungeon walls, still felt the +iron fetters on neck, hands and feet. Instead of the tiny lamp flame, +however, which had only dimly lighted the musty cell, a radiant light +now filled it--a light that came from overhead. When, with great +difficulty, I lifted my face toward the ceiling, I beheld an ethereal +form bending above me; her white garments gleamed like snow under +brilliant sunshine; her blue mantle was like the starry sky of +evening. The coronet above her brow was like the crescent moon. The +face was so radiant I could not look at it--my eyes were dazzled as +when I gazed into the noon-day sun. The radiant vision held on her +right arm an infant; the forefinger of its right hand was pressed +against its lips. I believed the Holy Virgin had descended to me; but +when the vision came nearer to me, kissed me, and called me by name, +then I knew that it was my Madus--my poor deserted, forgotten Madus! + +I was so ashamed of the fetters which bound me. If she should ask why +I wore them, how could I reply? "I wear them because of the beautiful +woman who caused me to forget you." + +But she did not ask any questions; she smiled tenderly, and said in +her gentle tones: + +"My poor Baran! How unhappy you seem! Cheer up--we are come to help +you--to release you. My home is now in paradise--I will tell you how I +came to dwell there. On Christmas eve, I was kneeling in front of the +holy image you brought to me from Berdiczov, expecting every minute +the arrival of the little guest for my Bethlehem crib, when I heard a +familiar step outside the cottage. It was my father. I hurriedly +snatched the blessed image from the table to hide it, for I knew the +sight of it would anger him; but I was seized with such a terrible +pain in my heart I had to press the image against it with both hands. +I hardly recognized my father. His face was fearfully cut, and +mutilated; one eye was gone. "Your precious Baran betrayed us," he +gasped, glaring at me with the remaining eye. I opened my lips to +speak for you, but before I could utter a word he said again: "You are +his accomplice, you miserable creature! What are you hiding in your +breast?" I could not lie, so I told him it was the image of the +Blessed Virgin. "A gift from the Berdiczov monks I'll warrant!" he +shrieked, seizing my hair and flinging me on the floor. I heard the +keen blade of his cimeter hiss through the air--then, it seemed as if +the sky fell over me. The next instant I found myself in paradise, +with every pain changed to bliss. I may not reveal to you the secrets +of that blessed realm, my Baran. I may only tell you that our little +child is with me--he was born in heaven. This is he--he is come to +save his father from death." + +As she spake these words the child bent toward me and took hold of the +chains which bound my feet and hands. They fell asunder at his touch. +But the iron band around my neck was too wide for his tiny fingers to +clasp; it was impossible for him to break it. But he did what +twenty-four horses could not have done: with one pull he drew from the +wall the iron ring to which the neck-band was secured by a chain. + +"My blessed child!" I exclaimed, kissing the little hands. "If your +strength is so great, then seize hold of my hair, and bear me with you +to your home above the clouds." + +The little one laid his finger against his lips as a sign that he +could not, or dared not speak; but the mother answered for him: + +"No, my good Baran, you cannot come to us. Before that will be +possible you will have to endure many more trials in this world of +shadows. You will have to abide here until you shall have performed a +good deed for which some one will say to you: 'God reward you.' One +single good deed, my Baran, will do more toward winning paradise than +a hundred pilgrimages, or a thousand prayers." + +How sinful I am, your honors, is proved by the fact that I am still +alive; and as it is not likely that I shall have an opportunity to +perform the deed, which will call down on me a blessing from heaven, I +shall never again behold my little angel son, and his mother, my +sainted Madus. + +After the vision had spoken she beckoned me to follow her. The child +touched the wall of the dungeon with his fingers, the stones parted, +and we passed through the opening. The radiant form of my Madus +illuminated the passage amid the rocks, the long flights of stairs we +ascended. We seemed to thread our way through the catacombs. At last +we emerged from the subterranean region into a dense forest. I saw how +the shining garments of my conductress swept over the moss, giving to +it, to the flowers, the grass, the trees, the same soft radiance that +emanated from her form. Gradually the distance between me and the +lovely vision widened; my feet became leaden; I could hardly move my +limbs. Then the radiant appearance lost its human shape, until at last +it seemed to me that I was looking down a long avenue between the +trees at a faint glimmering light at the further end. The cold air +blew across my face, and I awoke. + +I was in the forest of my dream, around me were mammoth trees between +which, a long way off, I could see the glimmering light of the open. +The same beggar raiment I had worn to journey to Lemberg clothed me; +my crutch, emptied of its gold, lay by my side. I made my way toward +the light at the edge of the forest. I could see no signs of human +habitation anywhere. How far I was from the scene of my magnificence +and disgrace I cannot say. When I looked at my beggar's rags, I could +easily have believed my Lemberg experience an evil dream, had not the +iron band about my neck been too convincing a proof of its reality. + +"Well," here observed the prince, drawing a long breath, "that is a +most remarkable story!--a miraculous rescue of a transgressor through +the aid of the Almighty Father!" + +To this the chair added: "I am inclined to believe that the prisoner's +escape from the dungeon was effected through earthly, rather than +heavenly assistance. It is more likely that the haidemaken priest, +bribed by the duchess, conveyed the prisoner to the forest, and clad +him in the rags which had been procured from the Jew Malchus." + +"_I_ believe the story just as the accused told it," asseverated his +highness. "There are a number of similar cases on record--of notorious +bandits having been released from imprisonment by the hands of an +unborn babe." + +"And I assure your highness"--Hugo ventured to insist--"that +everything happened just as I related it. From the moment of my waking +in the forest, a white dove nestled on my left shoulder, and +accompanied me wherever I went. If I turned to look at it, when it +would coo into my ear, it would fly to my right shoulder; but it +seemed to prefer sitting on my left." + +"Is the white dove sitting on either of your shoulders now?" queried +the chair. + +"No, your honor," sadly replied the prisoner; "it is not there now. I +will tell you later how I came to lose it." + +The prince announced his decision as follows: + +"As the prisoner's release from the dungeon was accomplished through a +miracle from heaven, it would not be seemly for a human judge to +oppose divine favor. This transgression, therefore, may also be erased +from the register." + + + + +PART IV. + +WITH THE TEMPLARS. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +IN THE HOLLOW TREE. + + +With a ragged mantle on my back, a crutch in my hand, an iron band +about my neck, and the white dove on my shoulder, where could I have +gone?--even had I wished to leave the forest. + +The rags and the crutch were fitting equipment for a beggar; but what +should I have replied had anyone asked me why I wore the iron band on +my neck? I was disgusted with the world and its wickedness. + +Overwhelmed with remorse for the sins I had committed, I resolved to +become a hermit and do penance--I would remain in the forest and adopt +the rigorous life of an ascetic. + +After a brief search I discovered a brook that would supply me with +fresh water; hard by its banks an oak tree, many centuries old, with a +large cavity in the trunk, offered the shelter I should require. I +collected moss and dry leaves for my bed; for nourishment there was a +plentitude of nuts and wild fruits, and edible fungi. Wild bees +furnished me with sweets. + +I bound together two dry branches in form of a cross, set it up +between two large stones, and performed my daily devotions in front of +it. + +During the day I roamed through the forest collecting stores for the +winter; I laid up a supply of dried fruit, nuts, sow-bread and +honey--the last I found in the upper part of my tree-house, where a +swarm of bees had taken up their quarters. + +Of the raspberries which grew plentifully along the brook, I made a +sort of conserve, which I packed into boxes made of the bark of pine +trees. All these provisions I stored in my tree-house, which I had +firmly resolved never to quit. + +But one thought disquieted me. If I remained in the forest how could I +perform the good deed Madus had told me was necessary in order to win +paradise? If I passed all my days in the hollow tree beside the brook, +where no human being ever came near me, how was I to benefit my fellow +creatures? How win the "God will reward you"--the open sesame to +paradise? I pondered this over and over until at last an expedient +suggested itself to me, by which I could make known my existence to my +fellow-creatures and still remain in my hermitage. I looked about for +two broad flat stones; these I fastened together at one side with a +cord made of linden bark and hung them on the lower limb of a tree. +With a third stone for a clapper I rang my primitive bell three times +daily--morn, noon and evening--surely, I said to myself, some one will +hear the sound and come to see what is the meaning of it. When the +people in the neighborhood learn that a devout hermit is living in the +forest, they will visit him, and perhaps bestow alms on him. + +But, in vain I rang three times every day, no visitors came to my +hollow tree, save the fawns that came to drink at the brook, and the +wild cats that came to prey on them. Many a time I rescued a young +deer from the claws of the feline enemy. It was to be regretted that +the dumb beasts I rescued could not have thanked me for the good deed. +One day I returned later than was my wont from collecting moss and +ferns to protect me from the cold of winter (I had already fashioned a +door of willow withes to keep the snow out of my tree-house). What was +my surprise to find the door open, and all my provisions gone! Not a +trace of the nuts remained but the shells; there was not a vestige of +the dried fruit; the boxes of raspberry conserve were lying about on +the ground, broken and crushed, as if they had been trodden under foot +by the marauders. Even the tent-shaped honey-comb in the upper portion +of my dwelling was gone, the plundered bees were buzzing angrily +around the tree outside. + +I could hardly refrain from uttering a malediction on the thief who +had despoiled me of my winter store; but I remembered my pious vows, +and reproached myself instead: "Shame on you, pious anchorite," I +said, "were you so wedded to earthly possessions that the loss of them +rouses your anger? You were too proud of your store. You were going to +play the sovereign in the wilderness. Others had an equal right to +that which you imagined belonged only to yourself. The truly pious +anchorite does not lay up stores for the morrow. He depends on the +Master to supply his needs. He must pay heed to nothing save his +prayers for the wicked, and praises for the Master. You have been +fitly punished for your arrogance." I said further, "Perhaps this has +happened for the best. Who can say but the despoiler prayed that God +might reward the one who had placed the provisions in the hollow tree. +If so be that was the case, it was a fine hunger it took all my store +to appease!" + +And again: "Who knows? Perhaps the hungry one is a great prophet--St. +Peter himself, maybe. I have heard that that distinguished saint +occasionally visits a poor man, and eats up a winter's supply of +provisions, only to return it an hundred fold. If so be it was St. +Peter then he will return tomorrow and so fill your tree with viands +and treasure you will never again want for anything--and, maybe, he +will also bestow on you a passport that will admit you to paradise +whenever you choose to go!" + +Consoling myself with such thoughts, I sounded the bell as usual for +vespers; then I drank heartily of brook water, lay down on my soft +bed, and dreamed until morning, of flying hams and kindred paradisal +delights. At sunrise, I rang the early matin bell; then hurried away, +in order not to disturb the prophet when he came to prepare the +surprise for me. + +I spent the entire day wandering about the forest, guessing what my +benefactor would bestow on me in return for the nuts, fruits and honey +he had taken--would it be the widow's oil-cruse with its +never-failing contents? or, a pair of bread-supplying ravens? or, a +barley loaf from Mount Gilead? or, a swarm of those savory locusts +which had served as fare for John the Baptist? + +In my rambling I came across a heap of beech-nuts. I hesitated to +gather them. What need to take the trouble? There would be plenty, and +to spare, in the hollow tree. However, I filled my pockets with the +nuts, then turned my face homeward. + +As I was rather late, I rang for vespers, and told my beads (I had +made a beautiful rosary of acorns) before going to my hermitage. A +deep growl came from the hollow tree when I approached it. + +"He is here!" I exclaimed joyfully. "He is waiting to see me. That he +is no ordinary person I can tell by his voice!" + +I crept on hands and knees toward the tree, and peeped into the +cavity. The next instant I was on my feet, hurling a million +_donnerwetters_ at the shaggy bear, whose monstrous body quite filled +the only apartment of my dwelling. + +I forgot that I was an anchorite, and cursed the brute roundly-- + +"_Votum violatum_," dictated the chair. "Broken vow--blasphemy! +_Capite plectetur._" + +"By my faith!" interposed the prince with considerable emphasis. "I +would have sworn too! _Qui bene distinguit, bene docet._ How goes the +paragraph relating to blasphemy? 'He that curses his fellowman'--and +so forth. But, it doesn't say anything about punishment for him who +curses his 'fellow-bear.' You see, therefore, that the _votum ruptum_ +does not fit this crime, for it was not the prisoner who broke the vow +of the anchorite, but the bear; consequently bruin is the delinquent." + +"Very good," assented the chair. "Then the bear is the guilty party: +_ursus comburatur_! The robbery of the temple follows: I am curious to +hear how the prisoner will clear himself of that! That he will +accomplish it I am willing to wager my head!" + +What was I to do? continued Hugo, when the mayor had concluded his +remark. My house was occupied by a tenant who would not let me share +it with him. I had nowhere else to go. I could not find another +hermitage. If I could not be a hermit, I could become a +beggar--begging was also a way to gain a livelihood, and I possessed +the necessary equipment for it. + +In Poland, no one who can say: "Give me bread," needs die of hunger. +The iron band on my neck might, after all, be of advantage to me; it +would give me a sort of superiority over other mendicants. If I were +asked how I came by it, I should say that it had been forged on my +neck by the Saracens, who took me captive when I was in the Holy Land, +and because I had made my escape through a miracle, I continued to +wear the band as a penance. + +The good people to whom I told this story believed it; it brought me +many a groschen and carried me comfortably across Poland. + +I had no sooner crossed into Brandenburg (I was on my way to my +native city, where I intended taking up the trade of my father, an +honest and respectable tanner) than I was surrounded by a crowd of +people--not a charitably disposed crowd, but inquisitive. + +They wanted to know where I came from, where was I going, who and what +was I and how I dared to have the impertinence to beg in their city. + +I replied that I was a pilgrim from the Holy Land; and that instead of +thinking it an impertinence for me to beg from them, they ought to +consider it a distinction to have in their community a mendicant with +an iron collar around his neck. + +But the Brandenburgers are inclined to believe themselves more clever +than the rest of the world. The bailiff seized me, dragged me to the +market place, where he proceeded to question me for the benefit of the +whole city. + +"Who are you?" he inquired. + +"I am hungry," I said in reply. + +"Where do you come from?" + +"From Jerusalem." + +"Don't you attempt to deceive me, sirrah! I know the way to Jerusalem. +Through what provinces did you journey?" + +"Through Marcomannia, and Scythia; through Bess Arabia, and Arabia +Petrća; through Bactria, and Mesopotamia; and now I come direct from +Caramania--" + +"Stop, stop! You are saying what is not true," interrupted the +bailiff. "Praise be to God! we Brandenburgers have maps, and know how +to get to foreign countries. The way to Palestine is through +Zingaria, Paflagonia, Cappadocia, and cinnamon-scented India. + +"Well," I explained, "I did travel through those countries too, but it +was at night, when I couldn't see to read their names on the +guide-boards." + +"And what means that iron band on your neck?" + +"That, your honor, was fastened about my neck by the black sultan, +Zagachrist, who held me captive fifty-two years and three days." + +"You are not yet thirty years old." + +"No, in this part of the world I am not; but in Abyssinia, where the +sun is so hot, the days contract to such an extent, that one of your +years here would be six there." + +"What an unconscionable liar you are!" exclaimed the bailiff. "Heat +does not contract. On the contrary, it expands, which accounts for the +days being longer in summer than in winter. We Brandenburgers know +that very well." + +He seized me by the collar, to drag me to prison, but I held back, and +said in a loud voice--loud enough for the crowd to hear: + +"I tell you I am right; heat does contract. Just you sit on a hot +stove and see if your leather breeches don't shrivel up under you." + +The crowd was on my side; but that trial in the market-place might +have resulted disastrously for me, had not a knight just then chanced +to ride that way. He wore on his head a plumed helmet; his body was +protected by a coat of mail. From his shoulders hung a crimson mantle, +on which was embroidered a large white cross. A heart-shaped shield +swung from the pommel of his saddle. + +My eyes were at once attracted to this shield, on which were the +ensigns armorial: a mounted knight like himself, and on the same horse +a ragged pilgrim of a like pattern with myself. + +"Ho, ho!" here interrupted the chair in triumph. "You may have been +able to hoodwink the Brandenburg bailiff, but you can't do the same +with me! You needn't try to make this court believe you saw anyone +wearing the coat-of-arms of an order that was abolished in the 14th +century." + +"I know very well, your honor, that the order of the Templars was +abolished at the time you mention, but a portion of them took refuge +in Brandenburg, where the order exists to this day under the name of +'Dornenritter.'" + +Having made this explanation, Hugo continued his confession: + +At sight of the Templar a great commotion arose among the people +crowding the market-place; the women pressed toward him to kiss the +hem of his mantle, in their enthusiasm almost dragging him from the +saddle. The knight had red hair, and a long beard of the same fiery +hue. + +"There is the red monk," said the bailiff to me. "Do you try to make +him believe you have been in Palestine? He has been there twice--once +by land and once by sea--and he has slaughtered more than two hundred +heathen and liberated thousands of pilgrims from slavery. Talk to +him; he will know how to question you." + +I was in a fix, and no mistake. The knight would be sure at once to +detect the errors of my geography. + +He rode quite close to me, passed his hand over his long beard and +examined me from head to foot with his keen eyes. + +"Can you prove to me that you come from the Holy Land?" he asked in a +voice so stern and deep-toned it made me start and tremble. + +But a lucky thought came to me; I had a convincing proof under my +arm--the old Turk's crutch, the shaft of which was closely wound with +brass wire in a fanciful pattern. + +"Will you examine this, Sir Knight?" I said in reply--holding the +crutch toward him. "You, who are familiar with the Arabic characters, +will find here a record of my wanderings--the entire history of my +wretched captivity, and miraculous deliverance." + +It was the knight's turn to start and tremble. I saw at once from his +countenance, that he knew no more about Arabic than--ah--than your +honor, and that he was afraid I might betray him, and prove to the +multitude that he had never trod the sacred soil of the Holy Land. The +hand he extended for the crutch trembled, but he preserved a bold +front, as he turned the brass-bound shaft around and around in his +fingers, and pretended to decipher the oriental characters. After +several minutes, he returned the crutch to me and said in an +impressive tone: + +"This is indeed Arabic--or, rather, Saracenic, the language of +Turcomania. Your crutch, devout pilgrim, testifies to the truth of +everything you have told these good people. Come with me to my castle, +where you will be a welcome and honored guest." + +Before he had quite concluded this speech, the bailiff had lost +himself in the crowd--he was nowhere to be seen. + +I was hoisted to the shoulders of a pair of sturdy citizens, and, +accompanied by the shouting multitude, borne in triumph to the +Templars' castle, situated on a moat-encircled hill, a little distance +from the city. + +Here, I was committed to the care of the guards on duty; they stripped +me of my rags; lifted me into a vat of water, scrubbed me thoroughly, +combed and shaved my head, and then put on me a scarlet habit of +coarse cloth, which, to judge from its ample proportions, must once +have garbed the form of a brother whose conditions of life had been +more fortunate than mine. + +Attired thus, I was conducted to the refectory, where the red-bearded +knight and twelve of his companions were assembled. + +"_Quadraginta tonitrua_, lad, you please me well!" exclaimed the +red-bearded knight, who seemed to be the leader. "Never, in all my +life, have I ever heard so glib a tongue at lying as yours! You must +stop here with us. The devil has taken our sacristan--that's his habit +you've got on--he died of small-pox yesterday." + +You may imagine my feelings when I heard that I was wearing the +garment of a man that had succumbed to so loathsome a disease! + +I made bold to say that I had never learned the duties requisite to +the office of a sacristan. + +"_Per septem archidiabolos!_" merrily exclaimed the knight. "I believe +you. But, we will instruct you--never fear!" + +Here he noticed the iron band on my neck and added: "Ha, _Lucifer te +corripiat_! Why do you wear that curious band around your neck?" + +In reply I stammered something about a solemn vow, whereupon the +entire company burst into hearty laughter. + +"_Ut Belsebub te submergat in paludes inferni, trifurcifer!_" bawled +the red knight. "Either you wear the band in pursuance of a +vow--solemn or otherwise--or it was forged on your neck in punishment +for a theft. If the former, then continue to wear it to the end of +your days; if the latter, then we have an armorer who will relieve you +of it in short order." + +To this I made answer: + +"Though I wear the iron band because of a solemn vow, the Sir Knights +may believe it is in punishment for a theft." + +The merry company laughed again, and the armorer was summoned at once +to relieve me of the uncomfortable collar. + + +BAPHOMET. + +I now believed I had ultimately attained what I most desired--a +comfortable position in a religious house, where I might pass the +remainder of my days in peace, and free from care. I should have no +further need to trouble about providing for food and drink, and the +where to lay my head. My duties were light; I had to ring the bell for +prayers three times daily; keep clean the church vessels, and take +care of all the vestments. All my time not occupied with these simple +tasks, I was permitted to devote to pious contemplation. I soon won +the confidence of Knight Elias, the red-bearded superior. I was named +Eliezer. It had taken me six months and more to beg my way through +Poland, consequently, Passion week began soon after my arrival at the +Templars' castle. I was apprehensive that I should not be able +adequately to perform the duties requisite for my office during the +solemn season, as I was not yet sufficiently familiar with the Roman +Catholic service, having only lately become a neophite. But, when I +confided my doubts to Knight Elias, he replied encouragingly: + +"Don't you worry, Frater Eliezer, every night during the coming week +we shall rehearse scenes from the 'Passion Play,' which will make you +familiar with the services expected of you." + +This assurance gave me confidence, and I looked forward with +impatience to Maundy-Thursday, as on the evening of that day the +preparations for the devotional ceremonies were to begin. + +Maundy-Thursday arrived. In the evening, after I had closed and locked +the gates after vespers, Knight Elias bade me take a lamp, go to the +chapel, and wait there until the clock struck the hour of midnight, +when I should hear three taps on the door of the crypt. I was to open +the door without delay, receive with becoming respect the guests who +would appear, and obey every order they might give me. I did not +betray the astonishment I felt on receiving this very singular behest. +I never was what may be termed "faint-hearted." I dare say because my +curiosity always was superior to my timidity; and I confess I was most +curious to see what manner of guests would come out of the crypt. + +The last stroke of twelve was followed by three raps on the crypt +door. I hastened to open it, and was amazed to find the stairway +leading to the tomb brilliantly lighted, and mounting it were a half +dozen or more female forms, clad in antique costumes--such as are seen +only in the canvases adorning the walls of churches and royal palaces. + +All the women were highly rouged and powdered; one had her eyebrows +penciled with black; another with minium, and another had hers tinted +with gold. All carried in their hands gaily colored wax tapers. They +were not in the least like the ghosts I had expected to see; and I was +not in the least frightened of them either! + +Young blood coursed through my veins then, and it flowed more swiftly +when my eyes rested on the beautiful visitors--even though they were +denizens of another world! + +The ghosts saw at once that it was not the old sacristan who had +admitted them; and believed it necessary to introduce themselves. The +first one said: + +"I am Jezebel, wife of King Ahab. Fetch the baptismal basin, I want to +perform my ablutions." + +The second announced: + +"I am Salome, daughter of Herodias. Bring me the golden ciborium." + +The third said: + +"I am Bathsheba. Bring the sacred oil, I want some for my hair." + +The fourth: + +"I am Delilah. Bring a chalice, I want a drink." + +The fifth: + +"I am Ashtoreth. Bring the censer, I want some perfume." + +"I am Tamar," announced the sixth. "Bring a lachrymatory, I want to +fill it with my tears." + +There were seven in the company. The seventh had on her head a crown, +and was clad in a robe of gold-brocade with a long train. "I am +Mylitta, Queen of Sheba," she announced in a voice that sounded like a +sweet-toned bell. "Bring me the pyx." + +Now, although the rest of the orders had confounded me with their +impiety, I had obeyed them, because I had been commanded to do so. +This last, however, made me hesitate; I could not lay sacrilegious +hands on so holy a vessel. + +I shuddered, and looked with horrified eyes at the commanding phantom. +Suddenly, she lifted her arm, and gave me a sound blow on the back, at +the same time screaming: + +"Don't you hear me, dolt? I want the pyx." Feeling convinced that +further hesitation to obey this visitant from another world would not +be well for me, I went to the altar, and with a violently trembling +hand lifted the sacred vessel from its accustomed place and brought +it to the lady. + +"Now, follow us," she commanded; and the procession from the crypt +passed on, I following in the rear, out of the chapel, up a winding +staircase, to a part of the castle I had not yet been in. We halted in +front of a gilded iron door; it opened in response to three raps, and +I saw into a long, magnificently furnished saloon. There were no +windows in it; a mysterious radiance shone from the niches in the +walk, which were hung with gold-embroidered silk. + +As we crossed the threshold, a heavy curtain across the further end of +the saloon parted, and several male figures, garbed in old-time +costumes--Turkish, Roman, Persian, Chaldean and Egyptian--came to meet +the women, who greeted them thus: + +"Welcome, Ahasuerus!" + +"Baal greets you, Nebuchadnezzar!" + +"Osiris, bless you, Pharaoh!" and so on, to Herod, Pilate, Nero, +Sardanapalus--in all of whom I recognized my sir knights. My +red-bearded patron answered to the name of Judas Iscariot. It was a +distinguished company! + +The greetings between the knights and the ladies ever, my patron +turned toward me. I was standing near the door--and said: + +"Malchus, come hither." + +I looked around to see who Malchus might be, but finding no one near +me, guessed that I too had been given a name suitable for the +occasion--that of the chief priests' servant, who lifted his hand +against the Savior. + +My patron's next words assured me that I had guessed correctly: + +"If your ears have really been cut off, Malchus--which they must have +been, since you can't hear, we must ask Ben Hanotzri to fasten them to +your head again!" + +I had not yet learned to whom they alluded when they mentioned that +name. + +After his last speech to me, my patron took my hand and led me up to +the knight they called Nebuchadnezzar. He had strings of costly pearls +wound in his beard and hair--as one sees in ancient Persian statues, +and pictures. + +"What has Malchus done that he deserves to be admitted to the service +of Baphomet?" he inquired. + +My patron answered for me: + +"He has been a heretic, an atheist, a thief, a murderer, a +counterfeiter, an adulterer--" + +"The very man for us!" interrupted Nebuchadnezzar--and then I +understood why my welcome to the conventual residence had been so +cordial! + +I was asked to take off my monk's habit, and given the dress of a +Roman lictor, in which character my first task was to remove the lid +from a sarcophagus that stood in a niche in the wall. + +I was horrified when I saw that it contained a wax image of our +Savior, as He descended from the cross, with the five gaping wounds in +His body, and the crown of thorns on His head. + +The knights gathered about the sarcophagus, and began a discussion, to +which I listened with fear and trembling. They spoke in Latin, and as +I am quite familiar with the language I understood every word. + +One of the knights asserted, that Christ was an eon of the God-father, +Jaldabaoth, who had sent Him to the earth, as the Messiah of the +Pneumatici, and to vanquish his, Jaldabaoth's, arch-enemy, +Ophiomorpho; that Christ, having failed for want of courage to +accomplish the task, Jaldabaoth had allowed Him to be crucified in +punishment; all of which was satisfactorily proved by Valentinus, the +Gnostic. Another of the knights insisted, that Christ was an imposter, +as was verified by Basilides of Alexandria, and Bardesane; and that +His true name was Ben Jonah Hanotzri. + +The earth seemed to sink from under my feet as I listened to this +blasphemous disputation. Though I am a wicked sinner, my reverence for +all things holy is boundless. I held my hands over my ears to shut out +the horrible words, but I could not help but hear some of them. + +The third knight maintained that the whole story of Jesus Christ was a +myth--He had never been born--had never died. The entire legend was an +emblem, a symbol that, like Brahma, and Isis, had never possessed a +material body; and that all images of Him were idols, like those which +represented Basal, or Dagon. + +I imagined that blasphemy could go no further; but the fourth knight +convinced me that even hyperbole may possess a superlative. + +The fourth speaker was Nebuchadnezzar; _he_ declared he could prove +from the Scriptures, that Jesus Christ was that Demiurge, who tortures +mankind with laws; renders unhappy and wretched the dwellers on earth; +prohibits all things that are pleasant and agreeable to the senses; +commands man to do what is good for his fellows, though nature's laws +prompt him to do that which is best for himself--be it good or evil +for his neighbor. Consequently, it was the plain duty of every +sentient being to defy this Demiurge, to disobey the laws promulgated +by him; to practice, instead of refrain from: cheating, robbery, +murder, forgery, intemperance, gluttony, debauchery; and that whoever +it was that had imposed on mankind the yoke of bondage, the so-called +virtues--were he eon, Demiurge, Ben Jonah Hanotzri, or Jesus Christ, +deserved persecution, scourging, and crucifixion. "Who then," he +demanded in concluding his sacrilegious harangue, "is the true +Messiah?" + +"Baphomet! Baphomet!" shouted the entire company of knights and ladies +as with one voice. + +Nebuchadnezzar then beat with his fists on a large tam-tam, upon which +the curtain at the end of the saloon was drawn back, revealing a +platform on which were two statues, life-size. The one on the right +was Baphomet, with the two faces, one masculine, the other feminine. A +huge serpent was wound twelve times about the statue; on each of the +rings thus formed was engraved one of the twelve signs of the zodiac. +One hand held the sun; the other the moon; the feet rested on a +globe, that rested in turn on the back of a crocodile. + +The other statue represented Mylitta. She was seated on a wild boar; a +crown of gleaming rubies and carbuncles adorned her brow. The knights +and ladies, one after the other, approached the statues, kissed the +shoulders of Baphomet, then the knees of Mylitta. + +After this ceremony, they joined hands, forming a circle around the +images, and began to dance to a song they chanted in a tongue unknown +to me. Before the dance began, I was told to fill all the sacred +vessels with the wine contained in several large jars near the +entrance. This was drank from time to time in toasts to Baphomet and +his companion image. + +If my horror was great, my curiosity was greater. I mastered the +former feeling, in order to see what would be the end of the +sacrilegious orgy. + +The wine jars were soon emptied, and I was ordered by Iscariot to +refill them in the cellar. On my return to the saloon, I found the +company seated around the table; when I approached the Queen of Sheba +to refill the chalice, from which she was drinking, she said to me: + +"Malchus, this crown of mine is so heavy; go down to the chapel and +fetch me the one from the head of the woman of Nazareth." + +I went cold from crown to sole at this request. + +There was in the chapel a beautiful image of our Lady, with a crown of +pearls and diamonds on her head--the gift of a pious princess. To this +image the devout folk of the surrounding region made pilgrimages on +holy days; and it was covered with all manner of costly gifts from the +grateful believers. And this was the "Woman of Nazareth," whose crown +I was ordered to fetch for the shameless wanton. + +"Didn't you hear the lady's order?" bawled my rufous-bearded patron, +thumping the table with his mailed fist. "Go at once to the chapel and +fetch the crown." + +If I had refused to obey I should have been killed; but I almost +fainted with horror while performing the errand. When I returned with +the jeweled crown to the hall of the worship of Baphomet, the demon of +licentious revelry had been loosed; the women, as well as the men, +were dancing with wild abandon. The Queen of Sheba snatched the crown +from my hand, adjusted it on her dishevelled locks, then returned to +the Phrygian dance, led by herself and Nebuchadnezzar; her hair stood +almost straight out from her head, as she whirled around and around, +so swiftly, that she and her partner seemed but one form with two +faces--like Baphomet whom they worshipped. After all had indulged in +the frantic revelry until they sank exhausted to the divans scattered +about the hall, I was ordered to collect the sacred vessels and return +them to the chapel, and then to go to my rest. + +"He must drink with me before he goes," cried Ashtoreth. + +"Here, Malchus!" she unloosed from her girdle a flask, and held it to +my lips. The flask was an exquisite piece of workmanship; it was made +of chased gold and richly set with Turkish fire opals. + +"This wine, Malchus," continued the lady, "is the juice of the grape +planted by Noah. The stone jar in which it has been preserved for so +many centuries stands beside the sarcophagus of my grand-mother +Semiramis, in Nineveh--drink, it will do you good." + +On my hesitating, she suddenly flung her arm around my neck, drew my +head close to her own, took a good pull from the flask, then pressed +her lips to mine, and forced me to swallow the wine from her mouth. + +Never have I tasted a sweeter, a more intoxicating, more stupefying +liquor! + +"Now drink," commanded the heathen queen, placing the flask in my +hand. I put it to my lips; but perceived at once that the wine had a +different taste from that I had received from her mouth. It was +bitter, and had a peculiar bouquet. I took only one swallow; but +pretended to send several more after the first one. + +"You may keep the flask as a remembrance," said the lady when I handed +it back to her. She flung it among the church vessels I had collected +together in the baptismal basin, the better to carry them back to the +chapel. + +I hurried from the saloon with my precious burden; carefully washed +all the vessels through three waters; then restored them to their +proper places in the chapel. When I had reverently placed the crown on +our Lady's head, I knelt at her feet, and penitently kissed the hem of +her robe. + +"Now what shall I do with this thing?" I inquired of myself, surveying +the wine-flask in my hand. "Where shall I hide it for safe-keeping? +It is worth a deal of money. It would bring me enough to buy an acre +of ground, or a mill with five wheels. I'll just fasten it securely, +here under my lictor's cuirass for the present." I did so; then, +without heeding where I was, I lay down, and almost immediately fell +into a deep, dreamless sleep. + +I don't know how long I slept; I was roused by some one shaking me +vigorously, and crying: "Wake up! wake up!" + +"Yes, yes, Iscariot," I muttered sleepily, "I'll get up directly." + +"O, Trifurcifer!" exclaimed a familiar voice; "the wretch calls me +Iscariot! Just wait, you drunken rogue! I'll sober you!" + +The thorough drenching I received from the large can of water thrown +over me, brought me to my senses. + +"Well, my pious Silenus!" growled the knight. "You are a fine fellow +to set on guard, aren't you? I order you to keep watch outside the +door of the crypt until midnight, and find you the next morning lying +inside the cellar door, with your mouth under an open faucet. We were +obliged to carry you up here--not knowing whether you were alive or +dead." + +"Where--where is the costly flask Ashtoreth gave me?" I asked, feeling +in vain about my body for the souvenir bestowed on me by the heathen +queen. There was neither flask nor leather cuirass, only the old +coarse habit I had inherited from my predecessor in office. + +"Come--come," angrily exclaimed the knight, shaking me again. "Stop +dreaming, and hasten to the chapel; it is time to ring the bell for +mass." + +I could hardly bring myself to believe that it was only a dream--it +seemed so real, but I could find no trace of midnight revelry +anywhere--indeed, I could not find the winding staircase, which I had +ascended from the chapel to the hall of the worship of Baphomet. And +yet I doubted. + +The chapel was filled at mass with devout worshippers. A solemn scene +was when the knights, garbed in coarse gray habits, and bare-footed, +crept on hands and knees to the stone coffin, in which lay a waxen +image of our Lord. They kissed the marble steps leading to the +platform on which the coffin stood, and when I saw them gather about +the holy image, my dream seemed so real that, in my excitement, I +would have cried in a loud voice to the kneeling congregation: + +"People! Christians! rise--rise! do not kneel in the presence of these +blasphemers!" had not the white dove on my shoulder pressed her wings +against my lips. + +Then the rich tones of the organ filled the chapel; and the women's +voices chanting the "Miserere" sounded so familiar--exactly like those +I had heard in my dream, singing bacchanalian songs--that I said to +myself: "That is Ashtoreth's voice--that is Delilah's, and that +deep-toned contralto is Jezebel's!" Again I saw the singers emerge +from the crypt and move toward the winding stair-case. Ah! it was a +dream after all! There was no winding staircase. Where I had seen the +open door, which gave egress to it, was a blank wall; and against it +the massive marble monument of the grand master, Arminius, who was +represented by a recumbent knight in full pontificals, with hands +devoutly crossed on his breast. + +Yes, it was only a dream! + +My heart was relieved of a heavy weight. It was such a relief to feel +certain that I had not taken the jeweled crown from our blessed Lady's +head; and that the Queen of Sheba had not worn it while dancing in +adoration of an idol. + +When the services were concluded, and I approached the image of our +Lady, to replenish the oil in the perpetual lamp at her feet, the +doubts as to my having dreamed the scenes of the bacchanalian revelry +came back in full force; some one had been tampering with the jeweled +crown on the head of the sacred image--it had been turned around! + +There was a pearl in front of the diadem, and a ruby in the back--both +as large as a hazel-nut. Today, the ruby gleamed like a coal of fire, +where always before the radiance of the pearl had vied with the pure +whiteness of the waxen brow. The crown had been reversed--I had not +dreamed after all! + +This day was, as I have mentioned before, Good Friday--the day of +universal fasting. The knights' observance of the day was so rigid +that they would not even administer to a dying novice the medicines +necessary to alleviate his suffering, because they were composed of +manna and hydromel, both of which, containing nutriment, were +considered food. Even I fasted the entire day--of a necessity, +though, for there was nothing served in the refectory! + +My elastic conscience would have permitted me to partake--sparingly, +of course!--of food; and I regretted that I had not possessed the +forethought to lay aside from the banquet of the preceding night (if +it really had not been a dream) the legs of a three thousand-year-old +quail! + +But, had I done so, they would doubtless have vanished with the pretty +flask given me by the heathen queen. When I made my duty-rounds as +usual on Good Friday evening, I found my red-bearded patron waiting +for me in the sacristy. He said to me: + +"This evening, Malchus, you will watch as before at the door of the +crypt--but see that you stop there, and keep awake! Don't let me find +you again in the cellar tomorrow morning." + +I said to myself: "I shall be very sure not to go to sleep this time!" + +The guests arrived earlier this evening. The clock in the tower had +not yet ceased striking eleven, when the three knocks sounded on the +crypt door. + +The ancient beauties did not think it necessary to introduce +themselves as before, but they gave me the same orders for the sacred +vessels. + +When I moved toward the altar, in obedience to the Queen of Sheba's +behest, she called after me: "Don't look back, Malchus; if you do +Satan will fly away with you!" + +I did not look backward; I had no need. When I held the gold lid of +the chalice in front of me, it served the same purpose as a mirror, +and in it I saw Jezebel walk up to the Arminius monument, lay her hand +against the head of the recumbent statue, and thrust it to one side, +whereupon the entire mass of marble swung noiselessly forward, +revealing an opening in the wall through which I saw a winding +staircase. + +Pretending not to have seen anything, or to notice anything unusual in +the opening in the wall, I followed the ladies up the stair with the +articles they bade me bring after them. + +The long table in Baphomet's hall was again loaded with all sorts of +eatables: baked meats, pastry, sweets, fruits. "Meats!" I exclaimed to +myself, "meats on Good Friday, when all Christians, even the +Calvinists, fast and read their prayer-books to find consolation for +their souls and forgetfulness for their stomachs!" And what a feast it +was! One might well have believed that hosts and guests had not eaten +anything for two or three thousand years! Had I been endowed with the +hands of an Aegeon I could not have supplied the viands and wine as +rapidly as the hungry and thirsty revelers demanded them of me. I +seemed to be continually running to, or returning from, the +wine-cellar. + +Similar scenes to those enacted the preceding night followed the +banquet; only with variations one would hardly believe the human mind +capable of inventing. + +The Queen of Sheba was even more reckless and abandoned than before; +she ordered me to bring her the mantle from the shoulders of the +"Woman of Nazareth." I hesitated again to perform the sacrilegious +errand, but a sound blow on my back from Iscariot's fist sent me +hurrying to the chapel. + +When I returned with the mantle the queen was in need of it, for she +was not to be distinguished from the nude goddess on the back of the +wild boar. I was so ashamed for her, I could not lift my eyes when I +handed her the mantle. Ashtoreth laughed heartily at me, and +exclaimed: + +"Here, Malchus, I will drink to Baphomet from this flask; then you +shall drink to me." + +She drank first, then handed the flask to me; it was the same one she +had presented to me the night before. + +I had learned something since then! I knew there were trick flasks +with two compartments, which might contain two different kinds of +liquor without becoming mixed. If the neck of the flask were turned to +the right, one of the compartments would be opened; the contents of +the other would flow, were the neck turned to the left. + +When the heathen queen placed the flask to her lips I had watched her +closely, and had seen that her wrist turned slightly to the right. +This movement I took good care to copy when I drank, and, as I had +guessed, the wine was deliciously sweet. + +I took a good, long pull before removing the flask from my lips. + +"Very good wine, isn't it?" observed Ashtoreth. + +"A trifle bitter," I replied, making a wry face, upon which she +filliped my nose with her finger, and exclaimed, laughingly: + +"You don't know what is good, Malchus! The wine in this flask is some +of that left from the marriage feast at Cana. You may keep this flask, +too; put it with the one I gave you last night." + +This remark set the entire blasphemous crew into a roar of merriment. + +"You may remove these vessels now," said Nebuchadnezzar, when the +laughter had subsided, "and fetch us some _spiritus vini_." + +I removed the unclean church vessels and brought from the cellar a +large stone jug of _spiritus vini_. The simple juice of the grape was +not strong enough for the drunken demons; they wanted the more fiery +brandy. + +An idea came into my head as I was going to the cellar. The _spiritus +vini_ was made in Russia; the mouths of the jugs containing it were +sealed so skillfully that only those persons who understood the secret +could remove the cork. I had learned this secret while with the +haidemaken. + +I opened the jug in the cellar, poured out some of the brandy, and +filled it up with the drugged wine in the flask intended for me. Then +I sealed up the jug and took it to the banquet hall. + +"Did you drink any of it?" demanded the knight whom the rest called +Herod, when I set the jug on the table. + +"I swear by Baphomet I did not!" I replied truthfully. + +"Then open the jug," commanded Pilate. + +I made believe to pull and tug and twist the cork--I could not remove +it from the neck. At last Ahab snatched the jug impatiently from my +hands, and after trying in vain for several moments to accomplish +what I had failed to do, he set it in a silver basin and struck at the +neck with his sword. The jug was broken, of course, and the liquor +filled the basin. Then, Bathsheba and Tamar flung into it figs, +raisins and orange peel; Delilah took a lighted taper from the +candelabra and set fire to the huge dish of crambamboli; at the same +moment all the other lights in the hall were extinguished. + +Nebuchadnezzar now began to ladle out the burning liquor into goblets +which he passed to the rest of the company. The flame dispensing king, +with his four horns, the fire-sipping forms around him, their faces +blanched to a death-like pallor by the green-blue light of the burning +brandy, formed a group that excelled in hideousness every illustration +I had yet seen of the _danse macabre_. + +I fled in horror and disgust from the infernal orgy, fully convinced +that I was not dreaming this time. I was determined to make my escape +from the abode of demons and idol worshippers. + +I said to myself: "If these human beings--that they are not phantoms I +am convinced--came to the castle through the crypt, then I, another +human being, may go out the way they entered." + +I took my lamp, descended to the crypt, and discovered that one of the +memorials, which lined the walls, had been shoved to one side. An +examination of this memento to a deceased knight revealed that it was +not a slab of marble, but a sheet of tin painted to imitate the more +solid material. Nor was the niche it covered a tomb, but the outlet +to a narrow stairway that ascended in steep spirals from the crypt, +opposite to the one which descended to it from the chapel. + +[Illustration: "I took my lamp, descended to the crypt"] + +I mounted seventeen steps, when further progress was barred by a +statue--that of Saint Sebastian. The heroic martyr was represented +bound to a tree, his body filled with arrows, as he had appeared when +being tortured to death by the commands of the godless Diocletian. + +I had seen this statue often enough by day in the reception-hall of +the castle; then it stood in its niche face toward the room; here, at +the head of the secret stairway from the crypt, it stood with its face +also toward me. "Surely," said I to myself, "St. Sebastian must know +something about the secret outlet." + +And he did. + +I began to examine the niche; then the statue. I noticed that three of +the arrows in the breast were brass, and that the one in the middle +was brighter than the other two, as if it had been taken hold of +frequently. I mounted the pedestal, and, with one arm around the saint +to steady myself, I tried to turn the brighter arrow. After a little, +it yielded to the pressure of my hand, and the statue, as well as the +niche, began to turn slowly on an unseen axis, and in a few moments I +saw the starlit sky above me. + +Then I turned the arrow in the opposite direction, and found myself +returned to my prison. I had solved the mystery of the phantoms' +appearance in the chapel! I returned to the chapel and examined the +mechanism concealed under the Arminius monument. What would be the +result, I asked myself, if I turned the head of the grand master back +to its proper position? + +I did so, and the monument swung back to its place, concealing the +entrance to the hall of Baphomet. + +By this time the blasphemers in the hall were sound asleep, and heaven +alone knew when they would waken! And when they did, they would not be +able to get out of their Satan's temple, for it had neither door nor +windows. + +No one would know what had become of them--whither they had gone. When +they found a way out of their prison--if ever--I should be far enough +away over mountain and valley! + +I sketched a rapid plan of escape: I would go to the Archbishop of +Aix-la-Chapelle and lay information against the knights of Baphomet; +and, in order to gain credence for my story, I would take with me the +desecrated church vessels. No devout Christian should drink again from +the chalice defiled by the lips of Salome and Delilah; should have his +offspring christened from the basin polluted by Nebuchadnezzar; should +receive the holy water from the aspergill, defiled by being used to +stir the infernal mixture concocted by Tamar and Bathsheba; not one of +the vessels should be used again, until they had been thoroughly +cleansed and re-consecrated by the proper authorities. + +"A most praiseworthy determination! You proved yourself a true +Christian!" exclaimed the prince, deeply incensed by the impiety of +the _dornenritter_, the mere hearing of whose licentious conduct made +a godly man feel the need of absolution. "You did what any honest and +respectable Christian would have done in your place!" + +"Didn't I say so?" in triumph exclaimed the mayor, beating the table +with his staff. "Didn't I say the rascal would talk himself out of the +church robbery? Instead of sentencing him for the crime, he is +commended for it." + +Hereupon the prince and the mayor became involved in so animated a +dispute that each sprang from his chair and begun to pound with his +fists on the table with such vigor that the candle-sticks, ink-horn +and sand-box danced quite a lively jig. + +The argument continued until his highness suddenly remembered what was +becoming to his dignity; then he rapped the court to order and +announced that the hearing was adjourned until the next day. + + * * * * * + +The following morning Hugo resumed his confession: + +I found a stout leather bag in the sacristy, into which I put all the +church vessels of gold and silver which had been defiled in the +bacchanalian orgies. I did not forget the Virgin's diadem, either. + +My left shoulder ached dreadfully under the heavy load, but, because +the white dove I told you about was perched on the other shoulder, I +would not shift the bag from side to side, which would have made it +easier to carry. The revolving Saint Sebastian enabled me to escape +from the castle, but I still had a high bastion to scale. I found the +rope ladder by means of which the women had climbed over, and very +soon I was on the high road, travelling as swiftly as I could for the +heavy bag, toward the harbor-- + +"Hold!" interrupted the chair, "I've caught you at last! If what you +have told us is true, why didn't you go at once with the bag of church +property to the burgomaster of the city, and tell him of your +discovery at the castle? The impious revellers might have been taken +into custody that same night." + +"Yes--yes--" the prince made haste to add, "why didn't you do that, +instead of thinking it necessary to escape on a ship?" + +"I believe I can explain my action to the satisfaction of the +high-born gentlemen," deferentially responded the prisoner. "You will +understand at once why I wanted to take a ship, when I tell you the +name of the city. It was Stettin. It was in possession, at that time, +of Gustavus Adolphus, whose heretic generals cared very little whether +the Blessed Virgin or Baphomet were worshipped in the Catholic +churches, which had already been desecrated more than once by +themselves. Indeed, the relations between the knights and the heretics +was most friendly, because the former had joined forces with the +Swedes, and had fought bravely against the imperial beleaguerers. They +were loyal comrades in arms with the heretics. That is why I deemed it +wiser to escape from the city--" + +"And you were right--quite right!" with unmistakable approval in his +tone, commented the prince. "The Swedish heretics were not the proper +authorities to settle so sacred and important a matter. The _furtum +sacrosanctorum_ may be stricken from the list of indictments." + +"As may all that follow!" growled the mayor into his beard. "Now we +shall hear how this innocent criminal disposes of the _homicidium_!" + + + + +PART V. + +THE HOMICIDE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +ON BOARD MYNHEER'S SHIP. + + +A convincing proof of my honest and pious intentions is, that +notwithstanding I was in great need of money--I hadn't a penny to my +name!--it never occurred to me to help myself from the alms-box at the +door of the chapel, which, at such seasons like Passion Week, was +always well filled. + +I had no "motive" to carry the box with me--it had not been defiled by +sacrilegious hands. + +I still wore the dress in which I had masqueraded as a lictor: the +Roman balten, the leathern caliga, the chalizeh sandals with straps, +and the ancient Hebrew pallium. Anywhere else in the civilized world a +man garbed as I was would have been arrested as a vagabond lunatic; +but I was not molested in Stettin. + +That city, under Swedish domination, was a free port; the mouth of the +Oder was crowded with vessels of all sorts, from all countries. The +quay swarmed with negroes, Spaniards, Turks, Chinese--all +nationalities, all the costumes of the globe were represented. +Consequently no one, however striking may have been his garb, would +have attracted special attention. Nor did I, as I passed through the +crowd in search of a vessel that was lifting her anchor, preparatory +to sailing at once. + +Chance led me to a Dutch ship. + +The owner of the craft, Mynheer Ruissen, paid no attention to me until +after we were out of the harbor, and were scudding before a favorable +wind. Then, as he was passing along the deck, his eyes fell on me, +where I was sitting near the rail, with my bag by my side. + +He stopped in front of me, thrust his hands into the pockets of his +coat, and, after a moment's close scrutiny, addressed me in a language +I had never heard before. He tried several different tongues--oriental +by their sound--with the same result. I could only indicate by shaking +my head that I did not understand him. At last he became impatient, +and exclaimed in Flemish: + +"Potztausend-wetter! What language does this fellow speak, I wonder?" + +I understood him then, and told him I could speak Dutch, and that I +was not a heathen from the Orient, but a native of Europe, and a +Christian like himself. + +"And where are you going, may I ask?" + +"Wherever your ship will take me," I answered. + +"Have you the money to pay for your passage?" + +"Not a solitary batz." + +"Have you anything of value?" + +"I have a beautiful golden flask set with precious gems, which I will +give you as a pledge, or in payment--as you prefer." + +"Did you come by it honestly?" + +"I will take my oath that I did not steal it. A beautiful woman gave +it to me as a souvenir. May I sink with this ship to the bottom of the +sea, if every word I tell you is not true!" + +"Na, Na,! you needn't mind swearing in that way," hastily interposed +Mynheer. "I don't want my ship to go to the bottom of the sea! Is the +flask worth enough to pay for your passage to Hamburg?" + +"It would fetch more than your whole ship!" + +He paused a moment, then asked again: + +"What have you got in that bag?" + +"Gold and silver vessels, and jewels." + +"Are they souvenirs too? There, there, you needn't mind swearing +again! I won't arrest you--it's no concern of mine how you came by +them." + +I told him then that if he would take me to his private cabin, I would +tell him how I came to have the valuables in my possession. + +He led me to his cabin, where he bade me place the leather bag in the +corner. Then he ordered one mug of beer to be brought; filled a +porcelain pipe--about the size of a thimble--with tobacco, thrust the +stem between his lips, but did not light it--I dare say, because he +feared it might burn out before he had emptied the beer mug, from +which he took an occasional sip while I was telling him my story. + +When I had told him of the scandalous scenes in the castle, and of my +escape with the denied vessels, which I had decided to take to the +archbishop, Mynheer removed the pipe from his lips, deliberately +knocked the tobacco into the palm of his hand and emptied it into the +tobacco-pouch. Then he drained the last sip of beer from the mug, +thrust his hands into his pockets and said: + +"Well, my son, you have acted cleverly, and stupidly at the same time. +To fetch the things away with you, was clever--very! But, to decide +that you--by yourself--a poor unknown devil, would be believed by the +archbishop, when you accused so powerful an order as the +_Dornenritter_ of blasphemy and sacrilege, was stupid in the extreme. +Nobody will believe your story; you will be ridiculed, and told that +you dreamed all these things." + +"But," I interposed, "how could I have dreamed things, no living being +ever saw with his eyes, or heard with his ears? How could I have +dreamed the Baphomet worship? How could I have dreamed names like +Jaldabaoth and Ophiomorpho, and that disquisition around the +sarcophagus?" + +"Why, you stupid lad! Don't you see they will say you have been +reading the secret pamphlet which was published by the opponents of +the Ancient Order of Templars? But, what was permitted to King Philip +will not be tolerated in you; you will not be allowed to tell stories +about Baphomet idolatry, and serpent worship. And, suppose you are +allowed to tell what you 'saw with your eyes and heard with your +ears'--you have no witness to prove that what you say is true." + +"Oh, haven't I?" I cried, triumphantly producing from the leather bag +the pyx with its contents. "Here is my witness: this sacred wafer, +defiled by the idol-worshippers. See! here in the center of it, is the +print of Ashtoreth's slipper heel, where she trod it under foot. You +see, it is directly over the banner of the _Agnus Dei_?" + +Mynheer deliberately adjusted his large spectacles on the bridge of +his nose, and scrutinized the wafer. + +"_Donnerwetter_!" he growled, "you are right, lad, this is the symbol +of Baphomet: a half-moon, a double-headed serpent curved to form the +figure 8. Hm, hm--you have acted in a praiseworthy manner after all! +By bringing this wafer with you, you have saved the souls of many +devout Christians from eternal damnation, in that you have hindered +them from kneeling in adoration today at mass before this symbol of +Baphomet! Indeed, half Stettin will owe thanks to you if, instead of +damnation, it wins salvation! Your brave and valiant deed will save +from the flames of hell at least twelve thousand souls! Therein lies +the wisdom of your action; the unwisdom will come to the fore when you +ask yourself: 'What shall I do with these desecrated vessels?' + +"You thought to arraign an entire order--nay, two, for those wanton +females must belong to an order of some sort. To accuse a religious +body is always extremely dangerous--specially so, if the order be +composed of women. I am afraid it will result in your ruin; you will +most likely be arrested for stealing church property--the punishment +for which is death at the stake. What will your word be worth against +the denials of the knights? Do you imagine that any trace of their +scandalous revelry will be found? Not by a good deal! You will be +pronounced a wicked calumniator; unless you want them to cut off your +tongue, you will keep it silent between your teeth!" + +"Then what shall I do with these things?" I asked in perplexity, +giving the bag a thrust with my foot. "Shall I take them back to the +castle?--" + +"That"--interrupted Mynheer--"would be the stupidest thing you could +do. The sir knights would, beyond a doubt, have you walled into some +corner of the castle, where you might await the resurrection with what +patience you could summon!" + +"Then, what would you advise me to do?" I asked again. + +"Well, my son, _I_ say, that what you have in your possession belongs +to you; accept it as the gift of heaven--though you acquired it from +Satan. When we get to Hamburg I will direct you where to find an +honest man whose business it is to relieve pious folk of any treasure +they may have taken from Satan--or, found where it was not lost. I am +acquainted with a Christian of that sort; you need not be afraid to +trust him--he is honest as a Quaker, and would not cheat anyone--on +Sunday! I think I may trust you to dispose of your treasure as +cleverly as you--appropriated it, which, after all, is the chief +secret of trade!" + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE MOO-CALF. + + +I dare say your highness, and gentlemen of the court, have heard a +good many stories about the moo-calf? I shall abstain from expressing +just here an opinion of the mysterious creature as, by so doing, I +should anticipate the denouement of one of my most remarkable +adventures. I think almost every dweller in Coblentz has heard of the +moo-calf's strange doings; for there are numerous records in the +chronicles of the city, of its mysterious appearance and behavior. + +The moo-calf ordinarily appears in those cities where the Jews have +multiplied excessively, and attained to power. + +It is a well-known fact that a calf is the meekest, the most innocent +of animals, that it has never been known to assault anyone, that it +would be the least likely of all the animal kingdom to wield a +boundless tyranny over an entire community. Therefore, I do not +believe _all_ the terrifying tales I have heard about the moo-calf. Do +any of the gentlemen here believe them? + +Several members of the court admitted that they believed the tales; +some thought a portion might be true, others were non-committal. So +much time was given to the discussion, that the chair was at last +obliged to interfere. He said to the prisoner--after rapping +impatiently for order: + +"You are not here to ask questions, but to be questioned. Now let us +hear what _you_ have to say about the moo-calf?" + +Hugo bowed and resumed his confession: + +When we arrived at Hamburg, Mynheer so managed matters, that it was +evening when he and I went ashore. With the bag of valuables on my +back, I tramped after him to the suburb of St. Paul, to seek in the +winding, and zig-zag streets of the "Hamberger Berg," the house of the +honest Christian, who would relieve my back, and incidentally my mind, +of the load of treasure. + +We pushed our way with whole skins through a confusion of menagerie +booths, puppet-shows, jugglery and rope-dancing exhibitions, which +their proprietors importuned us to patronize, avoided with some +difficulty the crowds of tipsy sailors, and at last arrived in front +of the house we were seeking. + +The name of the owner was Meyer--a by no means rare cognomen in +Germany! + +He was a Lutheran, as eleven-twelfths of the residents of Hamburg are. +They alone possess the rights of citizenship. + +Mynheer Ruissen took Herr Meyer to one side, and communicated to him +what business had brought me to Hamburg, whereupon Herr Meyer without +further ceremony invited me to sup with him. + +"I hope"--here impatiently interrupted the chair--"you don't intend to +waste more of our time by an enumeration and description of the +various dishes you partook of?" + +"No, your honor, though it would not take long to tell what we had for +supper. Herr Meyer placed before me nothing but bread, cheese and +water. He could not say enough in praise of the bread and cheese, and +he boasted that the water, which he said was from the Elias fountain, +possessed the most remarkable properties. While I ate, he examined in +turn each of the vessels I had taken from the bag and placed on the +table, exclaiming over every piece, and making a peculiar noise with +his tongue against the inside of his upper teeth: + +"A baptismal basin! Tse-tse-tse! How could you dare to take this? A +censer! tse-tse-tse! Young man, did it never occur to you that you +were defying Satan when you put this into your bag? A communion-cup! +tse-tse-tse! I should think your soul would be oppressed with its +weight of sin! And--actually!--the Holy Virgin's diadem! Woe-woe-woe, +to you, miserable sinner!" I could listen no longer to his lugubrious +comments: + +"Oh, hush, Master Meyer," I interrupted, "what use to talk like that? +You needn't think to frighten me with your lamentations. I am a +Lutheran like yourself--rather let us talk about the value of these +things: What will you give for the whole lot? But, before we talk +business, bring me something more palatable to eat and drink. Your +bread and cheese and water are not to my taste." + +"Very good, you shall have something else," with sudden alacrity +responded Master Meyer, whose opinion of me was evidently improving. +He hurried to the kitchen, and soon returned with some salt fish, and +a jug of good cider, which he placed before me. + +Then he proceeded to appraise the church vessels, and the diadem, +telling me the while that I ought to be thankful his dear old friend +Mynheer Ruissen had led me to him. How easily I might have fallen into +the hands of the papists, who would certainly have imprisoned me--and +perhaps put me to death; or into those of the Jews, who had swarmed +from Spain into Hamburg, and were ruining all honest tradesmen. The +rascally Hebrews would offer only ridiculously low prices for articles +they suspected had been acquired by means not altogether legitimate, +and would give in payment for them counterfeit money. And, wasn't the +cod-fish I was eating most appetizing? + +After he had examined my treasures two or three times, he said he +would give me six hundred thalers for the lot--and that I might drink +all of the cider into the bargain. + +"See here, Master Meyer," I replied, "your fish is so salty it makes +one want to drink continually, and your cider is so sour, I would +rather not eat your fish than to have to quench my thirst with the +cider. And, moreover, I will take my treasures to the Jews' quarter, +where I shall no doubt find some one who will give more than a paltry +six hundred thalers to a poor shipwrecked traveller for a lot of +articles that are worth at least twenty times the sum you offer." + +At these words my worthy host beat his hands together above his head, +and exclaimed: + +"My dear son! how will you find your way to the Jews' quarter at this +late hour? It would be very unwise--nay, dangerous, for you to attempt +it. Don't you know that the moo-calf makes its appearance about this +time?" + +I shrugged my shoulders to indicate that I was not afraid of a +moo-calf. + +"But, my dear son, you don't know what a terrible creature the +moo-calf is. It has become even more terrible and ferocious since the +Jews have multiplied to such numbers in Hamburg. These Spanish Jews +understand all sorts of witch-craft. It was they who discovered that +if a young calf is fed on human blood instead of milk, it will become +savage as a lion. This is the sort of moo-calf they have turned loose +in the Hamberger Berg. It roams through the streets at night, +terrifying to death every person it meets, and scatters the watchmen +in all directions. It tears the bells from the house doors; it has +teeth so sharp that it can snap off the pole of a halberd as easily as +if it were a pipe-stem; and its tongue is rough as a cloth-shearer's +brush. It roars like a lion, bellows like a wild bull, snorts like a +whole herd of wild horses; clatters through the streets like a luggage +van, clappers like a fulling-mill, and crows like a cock that is +possessed. It takes special delight in pursuing honest men and fathers +of families, who suspect their wives and daughters of adventure, and +if it chances to catch one of them, _he_ will not very soon forget the +moo-calf--that is if he escapes with his head to remember it! Another +favorite trick with the calf is: to steal upon a pair of lovers, and +roar at them with such a terrible voice that they die of fright--" + +"And what sort of looking beast is this moo-calf?" I interrupted. + +"Why, no one can tell what it looks like, my son. Those who have been +unfortunate enough to encounter it on the street have had a stream of +fire blown into their eyes from the beast's nostrils, and they were +not able to see for weeks afterward. The man who is brave enough to +thrust his head out the window when he hears the moo-calf bellow, will +be sure to regret his curiosity, for his head will swell to such a +size that he will not be able for several days to get it back through +the window. That is why no one is able to tell what the monster is +like. I only know that it has the power to stretch its neck to such a +length that it can look into the upper windows of a house. Oh, I can +assure you, it is a most horrible creature!" + +I had had ample time, while he was descanting on the moo-calf's +terrible doings, to replace my treasures in the bag. + +"Then there really is such a monster?" I observed, shouldering my +load. + +He swore by all he held dear, that the moo-calf not only existed, but +that it roamed the streets of Hamburg almost every night. + +"Have you any desire to make a bet with me?" I asked. + +"A bet?--on what?" + +"That I can eat a whole calf at a sitting--especially when I have a +ravenous appetite as now. Fetch me your moo-calf and I'll devour him, +hoofs, hide and tail!" + +I dropped the bag from my shoulder to the table, drew forth the short +Roman sword, which was part of my lictor's costume, and sharpened it +on the steel. + +"Now, fetch on your moo-calf," I repeated, again shouldering the bag +and making as if I were going to quit the house. + +"And you really are not afraid of the moo-calf?" exclaimed Master +Meyer, placing himself in front of me, believing I intended to pursue +my way. "I see you are a headstrong lad, but, as I have taken a fancy +to you, I don't want you to run any risks. Come, make up your mind to +stop here until morning. We will agree on a price for your treasures; +and then have supper together." + +"No, thanks," I returned, my face still toward the street door. "I +don't want any more dried codfish. The season of fasting is +over--besides, I am no priest, and if I were I shouldn't object to +wine." + +"You shall have whatever you want, my son. Put down your bag, and make +yourself at home." And he hurried into the kitchen to give his orders. + +After several minutes he returned, clad in an entire suit of new +clothes; on his arm he carried another handsome suit, which he begged +me to accept as a present from him, adding that I would find in the +pocket of the coat in a purse the sum he was willing to pay for my +treasures, and with which he knew I would be quite satisfied. + +When I opened the purse I found in it fifty doubloons, and a slip of +paper. + +"What is this?" I inquired, holding the paper toward him. + +"A promissory note for two-thousand thalers, payable in three months." + +I knew very well that a note of hand was as good as money, and was +quite satisfied with the trade--only, the time of payment was too long +distant to suit me. + +"It is a Hamburg custom, my son," replied Master Meyer when I +mentioned my objections. "The money must have time to mature." + +I was obliged to be satisfied, besides, fifty doubloons would be quite +enough to keep me in food and raiment for three months. + +The supper Master Meyer now placed before me was of a sort I would not +have believed his larder capable of supplying--judging from the fare +he had offered me first. There were pasties of all sorts, game, +confections and a choice selection of wines. Of the last I took +special care not to imbibe too freely. Master Meyer's family joined us +at the repast; there were three daughters, comely, and of marriageable +age; and a son. The latter, I was informed, was a student at the +university. I thought him rather advanced in years for a student! + +There was not the least resemblance between the three young women; no +one would have taken them to be sisters. They were merry creatures, +sang and played on the harp and the guitar. + +One of them, a blonde, was very pretty. I noticed that she stole +frequent glances toward me, and when her eyes met mine she would blush +and smile enchantingly. + +I was still young, and not at all averse to a flirtation. Moreover, I +was a widower. I had had enough experience with the fairer sex, +however, to teach me that it would be well to be on my guard. + +Master Meyer had introduced me to his family as "Junker Hermann." The +blonde daughter's name was Agnes. She was a sentimental and romantic +maid. I sat by her side at supper, and was so flustered by the glances +from her blue eyes, I could think of nothing more sensible to say to +her than: "that when the dear Lord should bestow on me a family, I +would have just such spoons as her father's"--with which we were +eating the chocolate cream--and that my own and my wife's crests +should be engraved on the handles. This remark led me to observe +further that I thought the initial letters of Hermann and Agnes would +form a pretty monogram. My fair neighbor could not see just how the +letters might be arranged. I told her it was very simple: the A need +only be inserted between the two uprights of the H to make the union +perfect. + +I wanted the Meyers to believe that I was a genuine cavalier, so I +said to the father--after I had emptied my third glass of wine: + +"That ring on your finger pleases me very much. I should like to buy +it." + +"Well, you see, Junker Hermann," he returned slowly, turning the ring +on his finger, "this is a costly piece of jewelry. The carbuncle alone +is worth fifty thalers; besides, the ring is an heirloom. I wouldn't +sell it for seventy thalers." + +"Would you sell it for eighty?" + +"I wouldn't let anyone but you, Junker Hermann, have it at any price! +As you seem to have taken such a fancy to it, then take it, in God's +name, for eighty thalers." + +"All right," said I. "Just keep the eighty thalers out of the +two-thousand you owe me." + +At mention of the two-thousand thalers Agnes helped me to a second +dish of chocolate cream. + +"I will draw up a note for the amount," said her father. "We are only +human, and no one can tell what may happen to me." + +"Write whatever you like and I'll scrawl my signature to it," I +replied disdainfully. + +When he had quitted the room, Agnes whispered to me: + +"I am very sorry father sold his ring. It is a talisman in our family, +and was given to my mother as a wedding-present." + +"And suppose"--I whispered back to her--"my buying it does not take it +out of the family?" + +"I don't quite understand you," she replied, casting down her eyes, +and blushing. + +"I shall make my meaning clearer when I may speak to you alone." + +"That can be arranged very easily, Junker Hermann; when the family +have gone to their rooms for the night, we can meet in the bow-window +chamber--then you can tell me what you have to say." + +The father now returned with the note to the dining-room. It was for +one-hundred thalers, that being the sum--principal and interest--I +should owe Master Meyer at the expiration of three months. + +I did not think it worth while to waste words over the usurious +interest charged; but signed my name with cavalier _sangfroid_, and +the ring was transferred from Master Meyer's hand to my own. As my +hand was considerably larger than his, which was exceedingly thin and +bony, I could only get the ring on the second joint of my little +finger. + +Just at that moment Rupert, the elderly student, must have made a +teasing remark to his sister; for the three at once set upon him, and +began to belabor him with their fists, and cry out that he should not +have any more wine that evening. + +"Very well," he exclaimed, laughing, "then I'll go to the tavern and +get some." + +He invited me to accompany him; saying that we should find at the +tavern some good company and bad wine. I excused myself on the plea +that I was very tired, and wanted to rest. He departed alone, and we +heard him singing, and knocking against the doors with his stick, as +he staggered down the street. + +Good-nights were now exchanged, and each one went to his or her room. +I waited with considerable impatience until the house had become +quiet; then I stole on tip-toe to the bow-window chamber. This +apartment is in the top story of the house, and projects several feet +over the street. A bright moon illumined the cozy chamber, so that a +lamp was not necessary. + +I had not long to wait; the soft rustle of feminine garments very soon +announced the coming of my charming Agnes. + +I met her at the door, took her hand in mine, and drew her into the +bow-window. She asked me without further ceremony, to explain how the +ring I had bought from her father could remain in their family now +that I was the owner of it. + +"Nothing easier in the world! my dear Agnes," I made answer. "I need +only to slip it on your finger as an engagement ring." + +She understood my explanation, and allowed me to place on the third +finger of her left hand the ring for which I owed one-hundred thalers. +After this ceremony I asked--as was natural--if I might seal the +bargain with a kiss-- + +"Ha! I knew that was coming!" interrupted the chair; "we don't care to +hear that sort of evidence." + +"Why," pacifically interposed the prince, "Why, a kiss is nothing out +of the way." + +"_One_ kiss would not be; but it would not stop at one; a second and a +third--and heaven only knows how many more would follow, and-- + +"Pray allow me to contradict your honor," respectfully interrupted the +prisoner. "There was only one. I will admit that I was about to help +myself to more, but I was hindered--" + +"By the white dove on your shoulder, of course!" interrupted the +mayor's ironical tones. + +"No, your honor, not the white dove. Just at the moment I was going to +take the second kiss, there came from the street directly underneath +the bow-window, the most unearthly sounds--as if a herd of angry +elephants were bellowing for their supper. I never heard so hideous a +noise. It was a mixture of the squealing of a wild boar; the neighing +of a horse; the blare of a trumpet, and the clattering of a heavy +wagon over cobbles." + +"Jesu Maria! the moo-calf!" shrieked my terror-stricken betrothed, +tearing herself from my arms. The next instant she had vanished, with +my hundred-thaler ring. + +Furious with rage, and not a little fear, I sprang to the window, +flung back the sash, and thrust out my head--never once thinking of +the dire result which would follow such action: my head swollen to the +size of a barrel. + +However, that did not happen to me; but enough pepper was blown into +my eyes to prevent me, most effectually, from seeing anything on the +earth, or in the heaven! I howled with pain and rage--compared to the +sounds which came from my throat, the moo-calf's bellowing was the +weakly puling of an infant. + +But, such was the fear of my host and his daughters, of the fiendish +brute, that not one of them ventured to come to my assistance. I was +obliged to grope my way unaided to my room, and to wash the pepper +from my blinded eyes as best I could. + +While I was thus engaged Rupert returned home, and joined his howls to +mine; he said the moo-calf had attacked him, and almost done for him. +His face and clothes were proof of a rough and tumble encounter with +something: the former was scratched and bleeding, and his garments +looked as though he had had a scuffle with an enraged eagle. His bed +and mine were in the same room, and neither of us slept very much that +night. The student was frightfully ill; he kept muttering constantly +something about the moo-calf; while I sat by the basin until daylight, +mopping my eyes with water. + +The cursed moo-calf! Why didn't he bellow before I gave my costly ring +into Agnes' keeping? It was not at all likely that I should soon have +another opportunity to be alone with her! + +The next morning Master Meyer gave me to understand that the duties of +hospitality would not be extended beyond one day; and that I would +better seek a lodging more suitable to the station of a young man of +quality. He would be glad to have me visit him frequently; and if I +wanted to be amused Rupert, who was perfectly familiar with all the +ways of the city, would be delighted to be my guide. + +I did not see the lovely Agnes again alone; so I made up my mind to +write, and tell her how much I thought of her. I question now, whether +any of the numerous letters I sent her through Rupert, ever reached +her hands. + +From that day, there was no end to amusements. Rupert was the very lad +to make me acquainted in the shortest time with all the resorts of +entertainment, and many companions of questionable reputation. I was +introduced to a Spanish hidalgo; a Scotch laird; a Brazilian planter; +a Wallachian boyar--that their patents of nobility grew on the same +genealogical tree with my own I suspected from the very first. They +were, individually and collectively, hearty drinkers, reckless +gamblers, and fearless fighters. That the money they squandered with +lavish hand was not obtained through honest means I was confident, and +I was equally confident that the entire crew looked on me as their own +special prey. + +But, I taught them a thing or two before very long! + +At our drinking-bouts, I always left them under the table. While with +the Templars I learned a valuable secret: how to drink all the wine +you wanted without becoming intoxicated. I shall not reveal this most +valuable secret here. I have an idea, that when the court sentences +me, I may win its clemency by revealing what I learned from the +_dornenritter_--the secret which would be of incalculable value to all +mankind-- + +"We shall see about it--if the time ever comes when sentence shall be +passed on you!" observed the chair. + +To out-drink me, resumed the prisoner, after this digression, was +impossible, though they tried their best to do so. Had they succeeded +in stupefying me with wine, I am quite certain they would have robbed +me of the note for two-thousand thalers, which I always carried with +me. I suspected that the series of drinking-bouts had been arranged to +enable Rupert to steal the note; had he succeeded, Master Meyer would +have been relieved of paying what he owed me. But my secret enabled me +to frustrate their plans. + +Nor did they succeed in getting hold of any of my doubloons. The first +time we engaged in a game of dice, I detected their scheme to cheat +me; the dice were loaded. As I had played that sort of game before, I +astonished and discomfited my companions by the frequency with which +the sixes always came on top when I threw. They, and not I, lost +money. If they attempted to quarrel with me about my good fortune, +they found that, skilled though they were in the pugilistic art, I +could take care of myself. I learned some wrestling tricks while I was +with the haidemaken, and they served me well in my bouts with those +notorious fighting-cocks. I was not the one to get worsted. But, no +matter how angry I might be, I always took good care not to injure any +of them seriously; had I done so, they would very soon have had me +behind prison bars. + +I was also extremely careful in my intercourse with the women I met. +My white dove accompanied me wherever I went, but I never spoke of her +to anyone. I would tell my companions, after they had dragged me from +one den to another without succeeding in attaching me to any of the +alluring nymphs, that I had no eyes for any woman but my charming +betrothed, to whom I had vowed eternal fidelity; and that I was +obliged to adhere all the more rigidly to my vow, because Rupert, +being the brother of my sweetheart, might betray me to her were he to +see me paying attention to another girl. + +Then the student would swear that a "whole ditch full of devils" might +fetch him (a favorite oath in Hamberger Berg polite society) if he so +much as mentioned my name to his sister. I might flirt with whomsoever +I chose, he would not betray me. But, I persisted in turning a deaf +ear to the fascinating damsels I continued to meet night after night +in the various drinking shops we frequented. I knew very well that a +tidy wench would be more apt to get hold of my carefully guarded note +of hand than would any of my brawling comrades. + +I wasn't going to let anyone steal it; I had decided that I would take +the money home to my poor old parents. The two-thousand thalers would +make of them real gentle folk; father could buy a little fruit farm; +and a fur coat for himself; and the old mother might promenade to +church in a silk mantle, bought with the money her son had given her-- + +"And which he obtained by selling stolen church property," +sarcastically interjected the chair. + +"The end justified the means," quickly, but with due respect, retorted +the prisoner, whereupon the prince laughed heartily. + +The mayor's face became crimson; he said in a tone of reprimand: "That +phrase was not devised by the pious Jesuits to excuse the man who +steals church property, and sells it to obtain money for his family. +The prisoner will continue his confession." + +In this manner I passed three months. The day before the one on which +my note fell due, I spent in my lodgings sleeping quietly. That night +I accompanied my friends, as usual, on a round of the different +taverns we were wont to frequent. We scattered the night patrol; +smeared the windows of several professors' houses with wagon grease; +sang rollicking ditties in front of the houses in which we knew there +were pretty girls; belabored all the Jews we found abroad at that +hour, and kept the entire "Berg" in a state of excitement, until long +after midnight. We marched arm in arm, forming a line across the +street that reached from house to house, to the "Three Apples"--a +famous tavern at that time--where, for a wager, we drank all the +liquid medicines in the store of an itinerant quack doctor, who had +stopped there for the night. + +It is just possible it was the medicaments that confused my +brain--though I am convinced they were perfectly innocent of any +intoxicants. Rupert became so helpless, he lay like a log on the +tap-room floor; the innkeeper ordered the rest of us out of the house. + +As it was too early to go home, the Scotchman suggested that, as +Rupert was not with us, we should go around to Master Meyer's, where +he and the rest would keep watch in the street, while I made a +"window-call" on my betrothed. + +"That's a bright idea of yours!" I exclaimed. "How am I to get up to +my pretty Agnes' window? Her room is in the top story, in the gable. I +am not a moo-calf that can stretch its neck to the luthern." + +"Why are we your friends?" chivalrously demanded the Spanish hidalgo. +"Are not we here to help you? We will form a pyramid: three of us will +support two others on their shoulders, and you will form the apex. +You can then rap at your lady-love's window, and we will remain +immovable, while you exchange kisses with her." + +The quack's medicaments had, as I said before, confused my brain; I +agreed to the silly plan suggested by the hidalgo, and we turned our +unsteady steps toward the Meyer residence. + +When we arrived in front of the house, the first thing we did was +break the lantern which swung from a rope stretched across the street, +in order that the darkness might screen us from the sight of +passers-by. + +The acrobatic feat of building a human pyramid was easily +accomplished; and I was very soon standing on the shoulders of two +comrades whose feet in turn rested on the shoulders of the three +forming the base. + +I had no difficulty in reaching to the sill of the bow-window; that +room, I knew, opened into Agnes' sleeping-chamber. I had rapped once +on the glass--cautiously, for I did not want to rouse any one in the +lower rooms; and was about to repeat the knock, when the fiendish +bellowing I had heard once before made the blood run cold in my veins. + +My comrades under me cried out in terror: + +"The moo-calf is coming!"--and the next instant I was hanging by my +fingers to the sill of the bow-window, with my legs wriggling like +those of a frog caught on a hook. I could hear my valiant comrades +scampering for their lives down the street. I did not want to call for +help; for, if old Meyer saw me dangling in front of his window, he +would believe me to be a burglar, and shoot me without ceremony. I +could not swing myself up to the window-sill, for the sash was +closed; so, I hung there, and tried in vain to find a projection below +me, on which to rest my toes. + +Meanwhile, the bellowing monster came nearer; I could already hear it +snorting under me. I hung motionless as an executed criminal on the +gallows, hoping the calf might not notice me. + +It was a vain hope! The brute came directly toward me, and when I +looked down, I saw the hideous horned head stretch upward--nearer, +nearer. I could feel the rough tongue lick the soles of my shoes--then +my ankles. I drew up my knees, and lifted myself as high as I could; +but the elastic neck stretched out longer--the horrible tongue licked +higher. I felt as if my trousers were being brushed with a curry-comb, +and I thought to myself every moment: "Now the devil will seize me!" + +I wriggled and kicked in vain--nearer, and nearer, came the long horns +which threatened to spit me on their sharp points. Fiendish laughter +seemed to come from the red throat, as the tongue licked higher and +higher. It reached my thighs--then my waist, and before I could guess +what might happen, the little bag hanging from my belt, in which I +carried the note for two-thousand thalers, was snapped from its chain, +and disappeared down the brute's gullet. + +My fear vanished with the note. Not even Satan himself should take it +without a struggle! + +Heedless of the moo-calf, as well as of the danger to my legs, I let +go my hold on the window-sill and dropped. Fortunately my mantle +carried me like a parachute through the air, so that I was not even +shaken by a too sudden contact with the pavement. + +I now stood face to face with the dreaded moo-calf. It was not a +creation of the imagination, but a veritable monster, and a most +hideous and frightful one too, at that! It had four huge legs and feet +like an elephant; a neck two fathoms long, at the end of it an +enormous head with horns; the long red tongue hanging from the open +jaws was covered with scales shaped like saw teeth. + +"You may be the devil himself," I cried, drawing my sword, and +stepping up to the monster, "but you must give me back my purse." + +Quick as thought, the long neck was drawn in, and the head thrust at +me with a force that sent me staggering backward several feet. A +faint-hearted man would most likely have taken to his heels, but I was +too enraged at my loss to think of seeking safety in flight. + +What! had I purloined the _dornenritter_ treasures for this? + +_They_ were now in Master Meyer's possession, and the two-thousand +thalers were in the stomach of this moo-calf! All this passed like +lightning through my brain, as I picked myself up from the pavement, +where the brute had flung me, and again approached him. + +"Either you take me with you to hell," I exclaimed hoarsely, "or I'll +tear my purse from your entrails!" + +Again the monster drew in his neck, spread his legs apart as if to +brace himself, and gave utterance to another marrow-freezing roar. I +remembered the dose of pepper I had received from him, and held the +corner of my mantle in front of my face; this shielded me also from +the sparks of fire he blew from his nostrils. + +I was prepared for the second assault, and when the brute again shot +out his head toward me, I dropped nimbly to the pavement, and the head +swept over me into the empty air. Before it could be drawn back, I was +on my feet, and buried my sword to the hilt in the creature's breast. + +What was my surprise and horror to hear a despairing moan--not from +the moo-calf's throat, from its belly--an unmistakably human voice. + +"I am killed--murdered!" cried the voice, as the moo-calf fell in a +heap to the pavement; and from the shapeless leather envelope +staggered a human form--my comrade, Rupert, the student. + +The blood was spurting from a wound in his breast--my sword had +pierced clean through him! + +"So, you are the moo-calf?" I exclaimed in amazement, surveying the +wounded man leaning, gasping for breath, against the door of his +father's house. + +"The devil take you," he groaned. "Why didn't I kill you at once, when +you were hanging from the window, instead of fooling with you? Now, +the old man may play the moo-calf himself, and scare customers from +the Jews' quarter! It's all up with me! Ho, Agnes! Mettze! Come quick! +Summon the patrol! Sound an alarm!" + +I saw a female form appear in the bow-window. It was Agnes. When she +recognized Rupert's voice, she began to shriek "Murder! murder!" + +I turned to fly, but Rupert, who had sunk to the pavement, weak from +the loss of blood, seized hold of my leg--even in death he thought +only of revenge! I jerked my leg from his grasp with such force, that +he fell backward, striking his head against the door-post. + +He did not stir again. + +I did not stop to search in the skin of the moo-calf for the +promissory note; I took only time enough to catch up a handful of mud +from the street, and fling it into the face of the girl, who was +leaning from the window shrieking "Murder!" into the night. + +It silenced her for a few moments, and I fled down the street with +strides that soon took me a considerable distance from the scene of +the tragedy. + +In my terror I imagined that a multitude was pursuing me, crying: +"Catch him!" "Hold him!" "There goes the assassin!" + +I fled through unfamiliar streets and by-ways, across bridges, to the +outskirts of the city. There I saw, in an underground den, lights and +moving forms; and heard dance-music and riotous shouting. I tore open +the entrance-door, dashed down the steps, and fell into the arms of an +overgrown rascal, who was clad in the uniform of the Munster guards. +The fellow locked his arms about me, and said laughingly: + +"You are welcome, comrade! You have come to the proper refuge. You +must have been close pressed, I declare! You are puffing like a +porpoise! But, have no further fear--you are safe now. Come, sit and +have something to drink." + +He pressed a goblet of wine into my hand, thrust his arm through mine, +and drank _smollis_ with me, by exchanging his bear-skin hat for my +cloth barret-cap. + +"There, my son, now you are one of us. You have drank our wine, and +are now under the command of our worthy captain." + +I had stumbled upon a body of recruits for a partisan corps. The +company was made up of desperate characters, who were glad enough of +this chance to escape prison, or the gallows. + +As for myself, I was forced to put a good face on a bad business! Only +twelve hours before, I had been a distinguished cavalier, was called +Junker Hermann; and had a promissory note for two-thousand thalers in +my pocket. Now, I had neither station nor money, and as I had good +cause for not wanting to keep the name by which I was known in +Hamburg, I gave the recruiting sergeant my own true patronymic. + +After I had been properly registered, I asked the sergeant: + +"What is the name of our captain?" + +"Meyer." + +"There are a good many Meyers in the world. Is the captain related to +the Berg-Meyers?" + +"You've guessed it the first time, my son! The captain's father lives +in the Hamberger Berg, and is a well-known receiver of stolen goods. +Rupert, the captain's brother, is a pander." + +I dare say many a man in my place would have been frightened at this +discovery; but _I_ congratulated myself! If I were pursued--I +argued--the officers of justice would seek for me everywhere else but +in the company commanded by the brother of the murdered man; and if +Captain Meyer ever discovered that it was I who had relieved him of +the brother with whom he would have been obliged to share his +inheritance, _he_ certainly would not reproach me for it! + +This, honored and high-born gentlemen, added Hugo in conclusion, is +the true history of the homicide for which I am arraigned. I have not +added to, or taken from it; but have related the events exactly as +they occurred. + +"_Qui bene distinguit, bene docet!_" observed the prince thoughtfully. +"We call it murder, when the person committing the deed strikes what +he knows to be a human being. But, if the man encounters a ferocious +monster that he believes to be a moo-calf, and kills it as such, and +it turns out to be a human being, 'murder' is certainly not the term +to apply to the deed. Moreover, the person who is so devoid of sense +and dignity, as to conceal his human form in the hide of an irrational +beast, is himself responsible for whatever may happen to him! +Therefore, this indictment may also be stricken from the register." + +"Perhaps, your highness," observed the chair with a covert sneer, +"would like to suggest a reward for the prisoner, for delivering the +city of Hamburg from the terrorism of the moo-calf?" + +The prince's reply made it obvious that he had not noticed the chair's +sarcasm: + +"I-think-not," he returned slowly. "As the prisoner is likely to be +condemned to death for one or more of the other crimes, it would be +useless to bestow on him a certainly deserved reward." + +A further hearing was postponed until the next morning. + + + + +PART VI. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE FORGERY.--ONE CIPHER. + + +I passed an entire year under the command of Captain Meyer, during +which time I may say I committed no more--nor less, evil than my +comrades. I do not hold it necessary to mention the seven mortal sins, +of which all soldiers are guilty when in the enemy's country--those +sins become virtues then. + +Were I to enumerate the pillaging, homicides, conflagrations, in which +I took active part, it would be rather a _captatis benevolentić_ than +an enforced confession. This much, however, I will confess: The +regions visited by Captain Meyer's corps never expressed a desire for +our return. A whole year of such a life was quite enough for me; and, +as I had enlisted for only a twelve-month, at the expiration of that +time I asked for my discharge. + +The captain expressed regret at my wanting to leave him; but made no +objection when I gave him my reason for quitting the service; I was +home-sick, and wanted to see my poor old mother and father. The old +folks lived in Andernach, near which we were quartered. I had not +seen them for full ten years; and I decided that I would spend the +rest of my days with them. + +The gold and silver I had once counted on taking to them, to solace +their old age, was not now in my possession: Satan, through whose aid +I had obtained it, had taken it away from me again. + +But, if I could not give my parents curse-laden wealth, I was able to +offer them two strong and willing arms which, after so many years of +sinful struggling, longed for the honest toil that would call down a +blessing from heaven. + +I would adopt my father's trade; become a pious believer, and try to +be of some use to my fellow-creatures. + +Before I could do this, however, I should be obliged to commit a +forgery--as the world would call it. + +The burgomaster of Andernach, and the manager of the tannery in that +place, were so very scrupulous, that they wanted to know all about my +antecedents, before they would consent to receive me as a citizen, and +journeyman. + +Not for the world would I have forged an entire testimonial for +honesty, and respectability; but I did not think, that to add a single +cipher to the honorable discharge I had received from Captain Meyer +was anything out of the way. A tiny, innocent, worth-nothing, +insignificant cipher, that could harm no one, take nothing from +anyone! And I did not place it in front of the figure 1 either--thus +giving it the precedence over the more valuable numeral. If the +honorable, and high-born gentlemen will but look at it from a +different point of view from that usually taken, I feel confident they +will not think my transgression so heinous after all. Heaven knows! +_Ten_ years' service under Captain Meyer contained sufficient torture +to purge the most hardened criminal, and make him fit for citizenship +in any respectable community! + +This, your highness, and honorable gentlemen, is the forgery to which +I plead guilty. + +"Humph!" ejaculated his highness. "It is not worth mentioning! Who +would take the trouble to notice such a trifle? Proceed to the +indictment next on the list--" + +"On which there is still another crime less!" grumbled the chair +impatiently. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE LEGACY. + + +Discharged soldiers travel on foot. It is the more expeditious way if +the roads are bad, for a wagon is heavier than a man. The man has only +two feet to draw from the mud; while the wagon has four wheels. +Besides to travel on foot is cheaper. + +When I arrived in Andernach I had, remaining from the money I had +saved during my year's campaigning, only one thaler; but my heart was +so light, the lightness of my pocket did not trouble me. + +How glad I was when I caught sight of the familiar towers of the +palace, and the ruins on the Templeberg. How often, when a lad, I had +clambered among those ruins, in search of hawks' nests, and Roman +coins. If I had only broken my neck on one of those innocent quests. +Everything was so familiar; the large mill-stone factory; the cranes +on the quay; the rafts on the river; the long avenues--yes, even the +old receivers of customs at the Coblentz gate! I recognized the old +fellows at once; but they did not remember me. I might stray through +the entire town without hearing a single voice call to me: "Welcome, +welcome! Why that is Hugo!" I was so changed in appearance! + +But I remembered everybody and everything! I did not need to ask my +way through the narrow streets to the tanneries on the banks of the +river. I remembered the names of all the families that lived in those +narrow streets. + +At last I came in sight of the house in which dwelt my parents--the +dear, familiar home of my boyhood! There it stood; and beside it, the +same tall mulberry tree with its branches shading the street. + +Perched among those branches, I had learned to decline the classical +formula: "_Hic gallus cantans in arbore sedens, kukuriku dicens!_" At +the moment of my arrival, however, instead of a _gallus cantans_ on +the tree, an auctioneer's assistant was standing under it, and +vigorously beating a cracked drum. + +"What is going on here?" I asked of the man, in whom I recognized an +acquaintance of my boyhood. + +"There's going to be an auction, Master Soldier." + +"What is to be sold?" + +"Everything that belonged to the old tanner. You may take a look +inside if you like," he added, nodding toward the house. "It won't +cost you anything." + +"But why are you selling the old man's property?" I asked again. + +"To get money, naturally!" + +"For whom?" + +"For the numerous Jebucees, Sadducees, and publicans, to whom the old +man was indebted. If they sell everything--to the brood of sparrows +under the eaves!--there will not be enough money, by a good deal, to +pay all he owes." + +"Why," said I, "the old man was a good manager; and his wife an +industrious and thrifty house-wife, when I knew them." + +"And so they were! The old man was all right, until he took to +drinking." + +"Took to drinking? Why did he do that?" + +"Well--you see, he had a worthless son, who ran away from home about +ten years ago. The scamp joined a band of robbers; and when he left +them, he gave out that he was a Polish count; played all manner of +tricks; broke out of prison; robbed churches. Every year the news +which came to the old man about his Hugo grew worse; until at last he +was afraid to venture on the street, for the whole town was talking +about his worthless son. So he took to drink--had it fetched to the +house, and drank harder and harder--especially after his wife died--" + +"Dead?" I interrupted. "Is the old dame dead?" my heart almost burst +because I had to keep back the words "my mother." + +"Yes, Master Soldier, she is dead, and it is a mercy the good old soul +did not live to see this sorrowful day! But, you must excuse me. I +have got to beat this drum, so that a good lot of people will come to +the sale." + +A dozen or more purchasers came in response to the summons. I took up +my station by the open window, and looked into the familiar room, +where the buyers were higgling over the various articles to be sold. +My mother's Sunday mantle was just then under the hammer--the pretty +silk mantle with the silver fastening at the neck. How I wished I were +able to put an end to the disgusting higgling, by shouting in the +window: + +"I'll take the whole lot for a thousand thalers!" + +But, alas! there was only a single, miserable thaler in my pocket. + +The mantle at last became the property of an old-clothes dealer: he +flung it around his shoulders, and made believe to promenade to +church. It was a revolting sight! The entire higgling crew laughed +uproariously, and clapped their hands. I could endure it no longer, my +heart was bursting. + +I stepped back to the drummer, and asked: + +"Is it long since the old dame died?" + +"Not so long but you may find her grave if you care to see it. She is +buried in the cemetery on the Templeberg." + +"And where is her husband?" + +"Well"--and he scratched his ear--"that is a question I am unable to +answer: what was immortal about him, is in heaven, or hell, or +purgatory--who can say? Flesh, bones and skin, are about to be buried +in the earth--just where though, I can't tell you." + +"Buried now?" I repeated. "Why, there's no bell tolling for the +funeral?" + +"No, Master Soldier, the death bell doesn't ring for such corpses. The +poor old man hung himself--just here, on this limb above us!" + +"Hung himself?" I repeated in horror. + +"Yes, Master Soldier--he hung himself on that limb! You see he +couldn't stand it when, after he had been told that his property would +have to be sold to pay his debts, he heard that the burgomaster had +received from Hamburg a warrant to arrest Hugo, his vagabond son, who +had murdered a comrade of his in that city." + +You may imagine my feeling when I heard these words! They banished +from my mind all thought of making myself known as the long-lost Hugo, +and the determination to keep my identity a strict secret was +strengthened by the drummer who, at every beat he inflicted on the +cracked calf-skin, exclaimed: "The rascal!" "The vagabond!" "The +gallows-bird!" and similar titles of honor! + +I deemed it wise to join him in execrating the reprobate, whose evil +conduct had forced the honest old tanner to end his life on the green +branch over our heads. + +The bloody deed I had committed in Hamburg had driven my poor father +to a suicide's grave. I could listen no longer to the monotonous +drum-beats, and the call which came from the house: "Who bids higher?" + +I stole away from the house to which I had brought disgrace and death. +I stole away to that city of the silent multitude, where there is no +higgling, no outbidding, no "who bids higher?" + +Here, the wooden cross at the head of the grass-grown mound of earth, +serves the same purpose, and serves it as well as the majestic marble +monument. After a long search among many familiar, and some unfamiliar +names, I found, on one of the wooden crosses, the name to which I had +a claim. + +Underneath that mound, bare of green sod, with no mourning wreath of +never-fading flowers adorning the cross, rested the woman who had left +behind her on earth nothing but a drunken husband, who drank to forget +his shame; and a worthless son, whose name was a public disgrace in +every city in the land. + +I flung myself beside the mound. I dared not give vent to my sorrow in +moans and tears, for fear a grave-digger, or some passer-by might hear +me, and suspect me to be the son of the woman in the grave. + +The Hamburg magistrates had offered one hundred thalers for my arrest; +consequently it behooved me to be very cautious. I pretended I had +chosen that spot to rest; and lay very still; for, just then, a good +many people--chattering old women, noisy lads, and all sorts of shabby +folk--were passing through the cemetery, toward the further wall. + +The crowd seemed to be expecting something--an imposing funeral, I +said to myself. I soon found out why they were so eager to get to the +boundary wall of the cemetery: In the strip of earth just outside the +wall was the suicide's grave. + +He is not to rest among the respectable Christians; but in the strip +of unconsecrated ground outside the sacred inclosure. No priest leads +his funeral train; his body comes to its last resting place in the +knacker's cart, on a bier made of four rough deals. The coffin is +unpainted; there is no name-plate on the lid. + +The bell on the neck of the knacker's old steed tolls him to the +grave. Instead of a solemn funeral dirge, there is the noisy chatter +of the curious mob; and in lieu of funeral oration are the knacker's +stupid and offensive jokes, which he cracks while he prepares to lower +the coffin into the grave. Before he does this, he takes a knife from +his pocket, and whittles a few chips from the coffin; and over these +the gaping crowd--especially the old women--quarrel and higgle, gladly +giving their last pence for the relics. And these people never suspect +that the man who leans heavily against the broken cross, hard-by the +new-made grave, might rush suddenly upon them, and with the stump of +the broken cross crack the skulls of those whom he chanced to strike! + +At last the knacker took note of me: + +"Well, Master Soldier," he called, "and how goes it with you? Don't +you want to exchange a few pence for a chip from the coffin of the man +who hung himself? There is great virtue in such a bit of wood! It will +preserve you from lightning, and--" + +"I would rather have a nail out of the coffin," I interrupted, "for +iron will attract lightning, which is what I most desire." + +The fellow was ready enough to comply with my request, but he said the +nail would be worth a thaler. I gave him the thaler, the last money I +possessed in the world! and received the nail--my legacy from my +father! + +Later, I had a ring made of the coffin-nail, and I still wear it on +the fore-finger of my right hand. + +"Well," enunciated his highness, drawing his handkerchief from his +pocket; "you certainly were punished for your misdeeds, my son. Your +sufferings must have been greater than if you had been tortured on the +wheel." + +The chair's comments were inaudible amid the sounds of emotion, which +came from behind the prince's handkerchief. + + + + +PART VII. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +PEACEFUL REPOSE. + + +I was now without a heller in my pocket; and yet I did not feel poor. +I thought to myself: I am a man, born this day--nothing, and nobody. I +am so much better off than the new-born babe, in that I shall not have +to be taught how to walk and talk, need no one to feed me, and rock me +to sleep. + +I determined I would not remain longer on German soil. If I remained, +only one of two alternatives was left to me: If I desired to associate +with respectable folk, I should have to allow them, when they +discovered who I was, to cut off my head; and if I went back to my old +life, or into the army, I should have to cut off the heads of my +fellow-creatures. I had no desire to do either. + +After my varied, and troublous experiences, I yearned for peace and +quiet. My plans were soon formed. There was considerable trade in +lumber, between Andernach and Holland. Innumerable rafts, composed of +huge tree-trunks for masts, and piles for dams, were floated down the +Rhine; and to the owner of one of these rafts I hired myself as rower. + +The wage was fair: thirty pfenings a day, with bread, cheese, dried +fish, and a jug of beer. I never drank my portion of beer, but sold it +for three pfenings, to one of my comrades on the raft, who got thirsty +twice daily. I drank only water. + +When my fellow rowers would curse and swear, because a strong wind, or +the current, drove the raft against the rocks, I would remonstrate +mildly with them; and assure them that such speech in the mouths of +Christian men was displeasing to God; and when, to pass the time, they +would sit down to a game of dice, I would withdraw to the further end +of the raft. If they urged me to join the game, I would reply: + +"Thou shalt not covet what belongs to thy neighbor." + +After awhile the jeers of my comrades attracted the attention of the +owner of the raft. + +"Hello, lad; what's the matter with you? You don't drink, don't +gamble, and don't swear--you are damnably pious, it seems to me! But, +you are a first-rate worker; and I shall sell you in Nimeguen for at +least three times as much as any of those lazy louts." + +"You are going to sell me and my comrades in Nimeguen?" I exclaimed in +amazement. + +"Why, certainly! What the devil else should I do with you? You can +float down stream on the raft; but I couldn't float you +up-stream!--and I couldn't carry you on my back, could I? But, don't +you worry. I'll find good places for the lot of you. There will be +plenty of buyers for the rowers, as well as for the raft, and the +price every fellow brings will be equally divided between me and +himself!" + +"What becomes of the men--usually?" I ventured to inquire. + +"Well, I don't believe _all_ are chopped into sausage-meat! The +Hollander likes to be a sailor--but only a captain, or a pilot. He +likes also to be a soldier, but again he prefers to be a captain, or +the commandant of a fortress. Therefore, common seamen and private +soldiers are in demand; and for this the ignorant stranger is good. +Consequently, you need only say which you prefer: to become a sailor, +or a land-lubber--and take your choice." + +I deliberated a moment, then I said to him: + +"I will tell you the truth, Captain, because I have vowed never again +to let a lie pass my lips. I am tired of soldiering. I have shed so +much blood on the battlefield, that the remembrance of it oppresses my +soul. I don't want to be a soldier; I would rather go to sea, and be +rocked by the waves." + +"Well, you are an ignorant dunce!" he exclaimed. "Don't you know that, +if you go to sea, you will get right into the thick of battle? The +Dutch fight all their real battles at sea. They keep an army on shore, +only that they may have troops to capitulate when a fortress is +starved out by the enemy! The soldiers never get any actual fighting. +Punctuality, sobriety, irreproachable conduct--these are the Dutch +soldier's strong points--and, the devil fly away with me, if you +don't rise to be a corporal in less than a twelve-month, if you join +the army! What were you before?" + +"A gunner." + +"Well, you can be a gunner in the Dutch army." + +"But, what have the gunners in the Dutch artillery to do if there is +no enemy to shoot at?" I asked. + +"Oh, they find enough to occupy their time. On Saturday evenings they +have the management of the fire-works, which are set off in the park; +and on the other days of the week they prepare the rockets, and other +things, for the Saturday evening's display." + +That is why I became a gunner in the artillery, in the goodly city of +Nimeguen. Sixty dollars was the price paid for me, the half of which I +received. + +I was now in a community that exactly suited me. Here was no mighty +uproar, no rioting, no drinking. Here, no vain braggart youths +molested the wives of the staid burghers. Here were no conflicts +between the military and the citizens. All were at peace with one +another. + +On Sunday mornings the armed, and the unarmed residents went together +to church; and in the evening all drank their pints together amicably +in the beer-houses. The soldiers were allowed, when not on guard duty, +or otherwise engaged in the fortress, to work for the citizens; the +money thus earned belonged to themselves. And there were many chances +to secure employment. The entire city of Nimeguen was a huge +flower-garden, in which was grown that most important article of +commerce: the tulip bulb. + +It is a well-known fact that not only entire Europe but all the lands +under the dominion of the Turkish sultan, would suffer a greater +financial loss, were the Dutch tulip-bulbs to remain out of the +markets for a year, than if all other crops were to fail for the same +length of time. + +By saying this, I do not mean that the carnation is not also a +necessary luxury--if I may so term it; but the tulip is, and will +remain, the most important article of commerce in the lands I have +mentioned. One tulip-bulb is worth as much as a peck of wheat. But it +is of different values--according to the color. There are tulips which +only kings and sultans can afford to have bloom in their gardens. + +I was fortunate enough to secure employment for my leisure hours, as +gardener's assistant, on the estate of a widow who was "tulip-wealthy." + +The lady would visit her tulip beds early every morning, to see them +in bud; and again late in the afternoon, to see the full-blown +flowers. At such times I never got a glimpse of her face; for she +always wore a huge cap, from which only the tip of her nose protruded. + +But I decided, after I had been on the estate a week, that the fair +owner must be young, for when she addressed a remark to me, which she +did occasionally, her voice was so low--as if she feared I might hear +what she said. + +To judge by the enormous quantities of bulbs she sent to market, the +widow must have been very rich; but the bulbs were not her only +treasures. She possessed a collection of shells, fresh, and +salt-water, that represented a very tidy sum of money. + +In Holland, as well as in England, and France, the shell had also a +commercial value; and wealthy collectors vied with one another to +secure the finest examples of the _spordilus regius_; the "sun-ray" +mussel; the rainbow-hued "venus-ear"; the "queen's cap"; the "tower of +Babylon"; and "Pharaoh's turban," and would pay as high as two hundred +dollars for a perfect specimen of the shell they wanted. I have known +a perfect _scalaria preciosa_ to bring one hundred zequins. This shell +is more valuable than the pearl; and my fair employer possessed a +whole drawerful of them. Her sainted husband had collected them; and +they would have sold for more than would a three-master loaded with +grain. + +More than one nabob had offered fabulous sums for the collection; and +it was said that a British peer, who was devoted to the study of +conchology, had even gone so far as to offer his hand and title to the +widow, in order to gain possession of the much coveted treasure. + +The widow who hesitates loses a title; while the lady was considering +the peer's offer, there was a sudden fall in the price of shells, and +my lord sailed away to England. + +What caused this depression in the shell-market you ask? + +Well, as your highness, and the honorable gentlemen, must know, every +sea-creature like the _scalaria_ builds its house with the volutions +turning to the left. + +One day a sailor, whose home was in Nimeguen, returned from a voyage +to Sumatra, and brought with him a large number of _scalaria_ with the +shells turned in just the opposite direction--from left to right. Now, +a shell of this order was a decided _lusus naturć_, and the price for +the ordinary pattern at once depreciated. The bankers and nabobs, who +had formerly vied with one another in their quest for the _scalaria +preciosa_, were now so inflamed with the desire to possess a _scalaria +retrotorsa_, that they willingly paid from two to three thousand +thalers for a single specimen. On the other hand, the ordinary +_scalaria_, which had sold readily for one hundred ducats, could now +be bought for ten, and fifteen thalers. + +This was a heavy blow for my widowed employer, and she soon found that +she had not the strength to bear it alone. + +When I heard of her loss, I summoned enough courage to say to her: + +"If this unlucky business about the shells is all that troubles you, +my dear lady, I think I can help you. I have a scheme that will in a +very short time produce shells which turn to the right--and in such +quantities, that you can supply all the shell-markets in the country." + +The widow reflected several moments, then replied: + +"But, I couldn't think of allowing you to employ witch-craft to secure +such shells for me. I do not approve of magic. I have always held +aloof from sorcery, charms, conjuring, and all such infernal +practices; and, as I hope some time to be united with my beloved +husband, who is with the saints, I could not bind my soul to the +wicked one, by countenancing any sort of magic, or idolatry." + +"There is neither magic nor idolatry connected with my scheme to +benefit you, gracious lady," I assured her. "What I have in mind is a +purely scientific experiment. It is fully described in a large book +written by the learned Professor Wagner, who was a very pious man, as +well as a very clever scholar." + +"The book I allude to, gracious lady, treats of the sympathy and +antipathy of plants, and cold-blooded animals; and is all about +creatures made by our Heavenly Father. It is a noteworthy fact, that +the bean vine always twines from left to right around the stake which +supports it; while the hop as invariably winds from right to +left--neither of them ever makes a mistake. If, however, the bean and +the hop be planted close together, then, the two plants being +antipathetic one to the other, the bean will twine to the left, and +the hop to the right." + +"_Quid fuit probatum._" + +"From such experiments the learned professor was led to experiment +with living creatures. He found that, when an acaleph which forms its +shell from right to left in the flower-beds at the bottom of the +ocean, chances to lie in close proximity to a _nautilus pompilius_, +which belongs to the cephalopods, and builds from left to right, the +two, because of their antipathy for each other, will reverse the order +of their volutions." + +"From this it is clear that those conchologists, who have created a +veritable social revolution with their _scalaria retrotorsa_, and have +shaken the foundations of prosperity in the Dutch low countries, have +accidentally come upon such shells which, in consequence of an +antipathetic propinquity, have reversed their order of building--and +by so doing, my dear lady, have caused you great loss and sorrow. But, +you need sorrow no longer, if you will graciously assent to my +proposition. It will, I feel confident, bring you a fortune so +enormous that even the queen regent will envy you!" + +"But, what is your proposition?" queried the pious soul, and for the +first time, half of her face emerged from the depths of her cap. + +"It is this, gracious lady: Order your agents to bring from the ocean +living _scalaria_, and _nautili_, which are to be secured with least +trouble during the mating season. We will prepare for them here a +large basin of sea-water, with sand from the bottom of the ocean. In +this we will plant sea-weeds, place our living shells among them, and +feed them with star-fish, holothures, and other soft-bodied marine +creatures. After a season our shell-fish will spawn; the eggs of the +_scalaria_ cling together--like a string of pearls; those of the +_nautili_ adhere to one another by sixes, in shape of a star. + +"When we shall have secured a number of broods, we will fasten +together the ends of a _scalaria_ string, forming a circle, in the +center of which we will place a star of _nautilus_ spawn; and you will +see, when the tiny creatures escape from the eggs, that they will +build their houses in a reversed order from the parent shell." + +My plan was quite clear to the fair widow; she gave her orders at once +to her agents, for the _scalaria_, and _nautili_, and from that +moment treated me with great respect and affability. + +Meanwhile, I continued to perform my duties: I polished my guns +mornings; inspected the soldiers' coats, to see if any of the buttons +had been sewed on wrong side up--the lower part of the state's coat of +arms uppermost--and reported to the captain that everything was in +order. Saturday evenings I attended to setting off the fire-works; and +every week-day afternoon I worked in the widow's garden. + +What I earned I laid by. I never touched pipe, nor glass--not even +when they were offered to me; and to whomsoever I addressed a remark, +I gave the title belonging to him. Thus, I gained the respect of all +my fellow-citizens. I had become what I had long desired: a +respectable God-fearing man-- + +"Now, look out for a special bit of rascality;" _sotto voce_, +interjected the chair. + +I admit it was to win promotion that I conducted myself with such +propriety, continued the prisoner. I was extremely desirous of +attaining a lieutenancy. + +When the living _scalaria_, and _nautili_, arrived together with the +creatures which were to serve as food for them, they were placed in +the large basin with a wall about it, I had prepared for them in the +lower portion of the tulip garden; and in due time the spawn was ready +for further operation. + +My gracious employer was greatly surprised to learn that the eggs of +the shell-fish have a peculiarity which distinguishes them from the +eggs of birds and insects. With the development of the embryonic fish, +its envelope also extends; one such egg, which at first is hardly as +large as a lentil, increases to the size of a hazel-nut. In this +condition its outer covering is very thin--merely a transparent +membrane, through which the now quickened animal may be seen revolving +with the celerity of a spinning top. One may even detect the +pulsations of its heart. + +"The fellow has actually taken it upon himself to deliver a lecture on +malacology!" irritably interposed the chair. "I am sorry to prolong +the hearing, your honor," deferentially returned the prisoner, "but, I +beg you will allow me to finish what I have to say on this subject, in +order that I may explain why I was accused of conjuring. I desire to +prove that what I did was not accomplished by aid of any infernal +power; but through my own intelligence, in discovering, and making use +of one of Nature's secrets." + +As I mentioned before, one may perceive, in the embryonic mollusk, the +incessant rotary movement from left to right. In order to keep the two +antipathetic broods constantly in the close juxtaposition necessary to +influence their development, I was obliged to handle them frequently, +as the eggs would move about-- + +"Stop!" interrupted the chair, "mollusks have no eyes; how then were +those you hatched able to see their antipathetic neighbors, and move +away from them?" + +Their antipathetic sensations informed them. Though mollusks have no +eyes, they are endowed with other remarkable organs--such as are not +found in warm-blooded animals. However, to cut my story short, the +quickened _scalaria_, and _nautili_, immediately began to form their +shells in the reversed order I had expected, and the secret of +fabulous enrichment was solved. + +During the mysterious process of nature--while the shell-fish were +industriously rearing their priceless houses--my patroness daily spent +a half hour or more beside the sea-water basin; and would even, now +and then, assist me to restore the creatures to their proper +positions. + +At first she would push her sleeves only an inch or two above the +wrists; but, after awhile, they were tucked above the elbows, and I +could admire as much as I wanted the beautiful white arms--a favor no +modest woman will allow anyone but her own husband. + +As the work had to be done, and as we did not want a third party to +have cognizance of our experiment, the fair widow was obliged to +assist me, and the natural result of the bared arms was: I became her +legal husband. Therefore, it was neither through magic, nor +witch-craft, nor yet through seductive arts employed by myself, that I +became the legal protector of the richest, and handsomest young widow +in Nimeguen. + +("The truth of the matter is: the modest Dutch widow bewitched the +valiant gunner, and compelled him to marry her!" was the chair's +sarcastic interpolation.) + +Well, be that as it may, the lady was amply rewarded for marrying me. +The _scalaria retrotorsa_ resulting from my experiment, brought her +enormous wealth. We did not know, at last, what to do with all the +money that kept pouring into our coffers; but, the larger portion of +her reward by far, she found in the conjugal fidelity I vowed to her. +I would not have believed that I possessed so many of the attributes +necessary to the making of a pattern husband, and my wife would have +been entirely satisfied with me, had I been a captain like her first +spouse. + +But I was only a gunner! + +My predecessor had been a captain, it is true, but he had never seen a +battle; and when, on _Corpus Christi_, he commanded the city militia, +and gave orders to fire the salute, he always pressed his hands +against his ears to shut out the noise. + +Still, his title gave his wife the right to call herself "Frau +Hauptmannin;" while, as my wife she was merely "Constablerinn"--a +degradation intolerable to any proud-spirited woman. + +I tried to purchase at least a lieutenant's commission; but there were +fifty-six applicants for the position ahead of me; and there was no +telling how many years I should have to wait for my turn. + +My wife at last became so sensitive that, in order to escape being +addressed by the inferior title, she ceased to go out of the house; +and when she had occasion to make mention of me to any one, she always +spoke, or wrote, in this wise: "The husband of the widow of Captain +Tobias van der Bullen." That honorable and high-born gentlemen, is how +I came to be called--through no fault of mine!--by my twelfth false +name: "Tobias van der Bullen." + +I must confess, it was an extremely dull life. Of what use to us were +the hoards of gold in the treasure-chests? We did not know how to +spend them. I did not drink wine; I was not allowed to smoke at home, +because it was an unclean habit. And I was always at home, when not at +the barracks, because I had nowhere else to go. + +At the merchants' casino, of which I might have become a member had I +so elected, all the conversation was about matters I could not endure. +The men were so grave and sedate, there was no fun in trying to play +tricks on them; and the women were virtuous to such a degree, that not +one of them would have allowed a barn-yard cock to scratch worms for +more than one hen. + +As all married men know, women are peculiar creatures. There are times +when they become impressed with a desire to possess certain things +that--so say the sagacious doctors--it is unwise, nay dangerous, to +refuse to gratify the request. I have heard said, that a woman has +been known to long for a dish of shoemaker's paste; another believed +she would collapse if she did not get a frog to devour; still another, +vowed she could not survive, if her husband did not rise from his bed +at midnight, and hasten to the nearest grocery for a box of superfine +wagon grease! + +Now, my wife was seized with a longing to possess a sheet of +parchment--a desire, you will say, that might easily have been +gratified. But, the sort of parchment she wanted did not grow on every +bush! A document, engrossed with the words which certified that her +husband was a captain, was what she craved. But, where was I to +procure it? + +Chance one day brought me face to face with an old acquaintance, +Mynheer Ruissen. He recognized me at once. It would have been useless +to deny my identity; moreover, there had been established between us a +certain good-fellowship that justified me in believing I might safely +take him into my confidence. + +He told me how zealously the officers of the law were searching +throughout Germany for the fugitive, who had substituted tin +church-vessels for the gold and silver ones used in the Templars' +castle; and for having caused the wonderful metamorphosis of the +Hamburg moo-calf. + +("Fine phrases for robbery, and assassination!" commented the chair). + +It was fortunate for me that I was known in Holland only under the +name of my wife's deceased husband; had the worthy Dutchmen known who +I was, the German authorities would not have remained long in +ignorance as to the whereabouts of the fugitive criminal they were +seeking. + +I confided to Mynheer Ruissen my desire to obtain the title of captain +in order to prevent my wife from grieving herself to death. + +"Well, my son," he observed after a moment's deliberation, "it isn't +such an easy matter to get to be a captain--on shore. There is no war +now. These Hollanders prefer to look on fighting at a distance. If you +want to become a captain, come with me to sea. I am on my way to East +India, with small arms and cannons for the nabob Nujuf Khan, of +Bengal. There's a general in his army, who is a countryman of yours--a +Reinhard Walter. He was an adventurer like yourself when he went to +India; and now he is a distinguished man. He changed his name to +'Sommer,' and the natives out yonder call him 'Sumro.' He is in need +of soldiers, especially skilled gunners. If you will come with me--who +can tell?--you may become not only a captain, but a prince within a +twelve-month." + +The tales Mynheer Ruissen related of General Sommer's success in +Bengal were so marvelous, they inflamed me with the desire to try my +fortune in that distant land; besides, the wearisome dullness of my +monotonous existence in Nimeguen was driving me to madness. I decided +to accompany the Mynheer, whom I introduced to my wife. She was almost +beside herself with delight, when he told her he knew of a land in +which there grew a tree, called the banyan, with a thousand branches, +every one bearing a hundred figs, in every one of which might be found +a captain's commission. And these wonderful figs might be had for the +plucking, by any one who would take the trouble to journey to that +distant land. + +"You must start at once, my dear," said my wife in urgent tones--as if +she feared there might not be any of the figs left for me, if I +delayed going immediately. "At once! You must on no account miss the +ship!" + +With her own hands she packed everything I should need for the +journey--not forgetting soap and tooth-brushes! And she did not weep +at parting with me. You see, the women of Holland become accustomed to +having their husbands go away on long journeys, to be absent for +years. I confess I was not sorry to go; for, I knew that, if I stopped +at home, when the third member of the family arrived, it would be my +task to rock the cradle. I preferred to be rocked myself by the waves +on a good ship! + +Two days later I bade farewell for a time to Europe, and set sail with +Mynheer Ruissen for India. A favorable wind sent us skimming out of +the harbor; my wife waved a farewell with her handkerchief from the +shore. + +"Did you commit any crimes on the high seas?" This query from the +chair interrupted the voyage for a few moments. + +"Nothing worth mentioning, your honor." + +"Then, just skip over the entire ocean, and don't waste our time with +descriptions of flying-fish, and chanting mermaids. Debark without +further delay in Bengal, and let us hear what rascalities you +perpetrated there?" + + + + +PART VIII. + +IN BENGAL. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +BEGUM SUMRO. + + +The next morning Hugo resumed his confession: + +I hope the honorable gentlemen of the court will pardon me, and not +imagine I wish to prolong this hearing, if I mention what may seem +trifling details. They are absolutely necessary to render intelligible +the recital of my most serious transgressions: idolatry, polygamy, and +regicide-- + +"All of which you will prove to have been so many praiseworthy acts!" +interpolated the chair. + +To begin with--continued the prisoner, paying no heed to the chair's +interpolation--from one of the upper windows of a tall tower that +stands on the left bank of the Ganges, in the neighborhood of Benares, +projects a bamboo pole as thick as a man's waist; and from it depends, +by an iron chain, a large iron cage. A man is confined in this cage. +His food is conveyed to him from the window of the tower, through a +long hollow pipe of bamboo. The cage hangs over a large pool of water +that is fed by an arm of the river, and swarms with voracious +crocodiles. + +It is a horrible sight, in the late afternoon, to see these ferocious +brutes lift their heads from the water, and grin at the man in the +cage. If he should break the iron bars which confine him in his airy +prison, and attempt to escape by leaping into the pool, the hungry +monsters would devour him skin and hair. + +"Who is the man?" queried the chair. + +"No less a personage than his royal highness, Shah Alum, the heir to +the throne of the great Mogul." + +"Why is he confined in the cage?" + +"Because he extended the hospitalities of his roof to his highness, +Mir Cossim, the nabob of Bengal, whom the English banished from his +territory, after the battle of Patna. Later, after the battle at +Buxar, Shah Alum himself fell into the power of the English; and Mir +Cossim was obliged to flee to the protection of the nabob of Andh, +whose commander-in-chief was the General Sommer, of whom Mynheer +Ruissen had told me. The English demanded of the nabob of Andh, that +he deliver to them Mir Cossim and Sommer: whom they wanted to cage, +and hang beside Shah Alum, to keep him from getting lonely! But the +nabob of Andh allowed Sommer to escape; and he fled across the Jumna, +where he organized another army. He was again defeated by the English, +and fled to Joodpoor, where he placed himself under the protection of +Prince Radspoota. Here he organized troops after the manner of those +in Europe, and vanquished the rajahs of Chitore, and Abeil. Again he +was compelled by the English to flee--but not by the force of arms +this time; his enemies intimidated the prince, his protector; and, in +order not to cause his highness any inconvenience, Sommer went to +Delhi, the chief city in India, where he sought the protection of +Najuf Khan. The full name of this ruler is: 'Mirza Nujuf Khan Zülfikar +al Dowlah, commander-in-chief to the Great Mogul.' From him Sommer +received a hearty welcome." + +"This Sommer," observed the chair, "seems to have been a vagrant like +yourself." + +"I consider that a great compliment, your honor, and thank you for +it!" returned the prisoner. Then he resumed his confession: Sommer had +an opportunity the very first day to prove his gratitude for the +friendly reception accorded him by Najuf Khan. The mutinous Mahrattas +made a sudden attack that night on the residence of the Khan, and +would have assassinated him, had not Sommer hastened with the loyal +Mahrattas to the rescue, and vanquished the mutineers. And they were +fine fellows--devilish fine fellows, too--those mutinous Mahrattas! +The crack troop of the imperial army! They had once compelled a former +commander-in-chief, who had failed, for some reason or other, to pay +the troops, to sit, bound hand and foot, and with bare head in the +scorching sun, until he gave orders to have them paid. + +("I think it will be well to keep that episode from the ears of our +troops," observed the prince with a meaning smile.) + +In gratitude for his rescue, Najuf Khan charged Sommer with the +organization of his army; and in a short time he, Sommer, got together +a force of natives, and Europeans, sufficient to conquer a neighboring +province, the chief city of which is Agra; he also captured the +so-called impregnable citadel of Drig, in which rock-fortress he +imprisoned nabob Nevil Szig. + +In reward for this victorious campaign, the emperor of Delhi appointed +Sommer king of the conquered province of Sardhana. Thus, the son of a +grocer in Treves became the sovereign of an East Indian province. + +I trust the honorable gentlemen of the court have received this +somewhat prolix preface with favor. I believed it necessary, in order +to familiarize you with the marvelous changes, which are worked by a +mysterious fate in that tropical clime, where alone such changes are +possible. + +If I could but delineate approximately the peculiarities of that +region, of the atmosphere I breathed, the ground I trod, I believe the +honorable gentlemen would say: "Arise, and go your way in peace. You +are not to blame for what you have done. Your transgressions are but +the fruits of the soil which produces also the boa and the upas tree." + +The province of Sardhana is ten times as large as the grand-duchy of +Treves; and the revenue of its sovereign four times that of the grand +duke. + +It is a very fruitful country, rich in grain, wool, and tobacco. +Sommer built a fort near his residence; and with the aid of his troops +kept the neighboring provinces under subjection. He forced a passage +through the forests of Mevas, into which, until then, none of the +foreign conquerors had been able to penetrate; which had formed an +impassable barrier for the great Alexander on his triumphal march; +baffled the hordes of Djingis Khan, whose inhabitants sallied forth +only when they desired to levy tribute on a neighboring tribe. + +After vanquishing these savages, Sommer directed his attention toward +the inhuman Balluken, who offered the blood of young girls in +sacrifice to their gods, and in a very short time succeeded in +dislodging them from their rocky retreat. Ultimately, he undertook to +subdue the royal Pertaub Singh, which he accomplished--but not through +the force of arms: by his powers of persuasion, which he possessed to +a marvelous degree. + +Sommer's patron, as was natural, wished to bestow on his successful +commander-in-chief a new reward for all these conquests. There was a +beautiful young girl, named Zeib Alnissa (the Hindoo for "ornament of +her sex"), the daughter of one of the most influential princely +families in Delhi, and this girl the emperor sought in marriage for +his favorite. + +Sommer informed his patron that he would espouse the beautiful Zeib +Alnissa if she would adopt the Christian faith. + +"Why," exclaimed the emperor, "can't you love a woman who worships +Brahma?" + +"Oh, yes, your imperial highness," responded Sommer; "it is because I +should love her very much, that I want her to belong to my faith. I am +not a young man any more, and I have a profligate son whom I have +been forced to disown. If I should die, my wife, according to the +Brahminical custom, would be burned alive with my body. If she becomes +a Christian, she will not have to ascend the funeral pyre, but my +throne, where she will reign as Begum, and prevent my kingdom from +falling into the hands of my worthless son." + +The emperor conceded that Sommer's argument was just; and permitted +the foreign missionaries to convert the lovely young princess to the +Christian faith. This was a concession never before granted to a +European in India. + +Zeib Alnissa adored her husband. She accompanied him on every +expedition he undertook; watched over him; guarded him from the secret +enemies and treachery which encompass every East Indian sovereign. The +successful commander-in-chief had many enemies and rivals. The English +company had long ranked among his opponents. Not infrequently he was +rescued as by a miracle from great danger by the watchful care of his +devoted wife. + +Ultimately, however, his enemies succeeded in their attempts on his +life; and the brave commander-in-chief succumbed to the poison +secretly administered to him. He died in the arms of the faithful Zeib +Alnissa, just about the time I arrived in Sardhana, to take command of +his artillery. + +His widow, under the title of Sumro Begum, ascended the throne, thus +preventing, as her husband had desired, her step-son from inheriting +it. + +This son was a truly immoral and wicked fellow. I saw him for a few +minutes after the Begum's accession to the crown, and after she had +confirmed my appointment as commander of the fort. He actually had the +effrontery to try to bribe me to betray the Begum into his power; and, +on finding that his efforts were useless, he threatened to revenge +himself on me when he should come into possession of the throne. + +"Very well," I retorted. "When that time comes I shall become a +regicide." + +How little I dreamed then, that my words were prophetic! + +Meanwhile, Sumro Begum grasped with a firm hand the reins of +government. She increased her army, and added several pieces of +ordnance to the artillery. + +Seated on a spirited battle-horse, or elephant, she inspected the +manoeuvers in person. + +Her neighbors in the adjacent provinces very soon learned to fear and +respect her; even the emperor gave her credit for great prudence and +wisdom. Indeed, so great was the influence she wielded, that her voice +frequently decided the issue in the discussions at court. + +Those East Indian dignitaries are a jealous folk. When Gholam Kadir +found that his influence at the imperial court was secondary to that +of Sumro Begum, he marched with his troops on the capital, and began +to bombard the palace. Sumro Begum, however, heard the thunder of the +cannonading, and hastily summoning her troops, joined her forces to +those of Prince Ivan Buk, and drove the jealous Gholam Kadir back to +his province. + +The revolt in the interior of his empire concluded, the emperor was +at liberty to turn his attention to the foreign invader. Kuli Khan had +captured the fortress of Ghokal Gur. This valuable stronghold had to +be recaptured; and troops were not lacking, but leaders were. Sommer's +loss was most keenly felt; but Sumro Begum was still to the fore, and +she was worth a dozen ordinary generals. + +The imperial troops had been trying for three weeks to recapture the +fortress of Ghokal Gur. They had become tired of the continued +ill-success of their undertaking, and had abandoned themselves to +feasting and carousing. One night, after all tipsy heads had been laid +to rest, Kuli Khan, with his Mongolian cavalry, surprised the imperial +camp, and began to slaughter the stupefied troops. The enemy in the +fortress could see by the light of the burning tents the horrible +butchery going on outside the walls, and decided to take a hand in it. +The emperor's tent was riddled with bullets; two of his palanquin +bearers were killed, and he was obliged to seek flight on his own +feet. But, whither to turn he knew not, as he was in the center of a +furious cross-fire. + +It is quite certain that he would have been destroyed, together with +his entire army, had not Sumro Begum hastened to the rescue, with her +admirably disciplined troops, officered by Europeans. + +On hearing of the emperor's danger the heroic Begum summoned her +body-guard--hardly one hundred men--entered her palanquin, and +hastened, with the battery under my command, toward the thickest of +the fight. + +When she saw that the enemy from the fortress was taking part in the +massacre of the half-sober imperial troops, she called to me: + +"Follow my example!" + +Then, she sprang from her palanquin, mounted a horse, and at the head +of her body-guard, charged upon the enemy. + +I knew very well what was expected of me! I placed my battery in such +a position that the guns would clear a way for the Begum. + +In a very short time the valiant enemy, who had sallied forth from the +fortress to take a hand in slaughtering their beleaguerers, were in a +wild retreat toward it. Sumro Begum met them at the draw-bridge, took +the commander prisoner, and, with him in chains at her side, entered +the fort, of which she took possession in the name of the emperor. She +left all but ten of her men to guard the fort, and returned to the +assistance of the emperor, whose troops, taking courage from the +example of the brave Begum, plucked up heart, turned upon their +butchers, and after a severe struggle gained the mastery. + +The rising sun witnessed the annihilation of the enemy. + +The fort was again in the possession of the emperor, who, in face of +his entire army, embraced Sumro Begum, and called her his "dear +daughter." He did not hesitate to declare, in the presence of his +commanding officers, that he owed his life, the lives of six imperial +princes, his empire, and the rescue of his army, to the brave woman. + +To this the Begum, with a modest blush, made reply: "Not to me alone +is due all this praise, your imperial highness. The greater portion +belongs to my commander of artillery. This is he"--she drew me forward +and presented me to the emperor. "To him must be given a fitting +reward for the great service he has done your imperial highness." + +The answer to this was: + +"Let yourself be the brave man's reward!" + +With his own imperial hand he placed the lady's hand in my own, and +betrothed her to me with a ring from his own finger. At the same time +he appointed me co-regent of Sardhana, under the name of Maharajah +Kong. Thus, I became--not a captain, but a maharajah. + +"And all this really happened?" inquired the chair. + +"Yes, your honor, and more too--as you may read in the court +chronicles at Delhi." + +"We will hear the rest tomorrow," observed the prince. "It is enough +for one day to have heard how the son of an Andernach tanner became +assistant sovereign of a province in India." + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +IDOL WORSHIP. + + +The next day the prisoner resumed his confession: + +I was now ruler of a province, with a revenue of twenty lacs of +rupees. I had a remarkably handsome and clever wife, with eyes than +which no gem was brighter. + +But, there was a thought that troubled me night and day: + +What was to become of my wife in Holland? + +My religion forbade two wives. This thought so troubled me, that at +last I confided it to Sumro Begum. + +"I don't see why you considered that necessary," interrupted the +chair. "You had already told so many lies, another one would certainly +have found room beside the rest!" + +I beg your honor to remember that I vowed at the grave of my poor +father to lead a God-fearing life, and to let nothing but the truth +pass my lips. The ring made of the coffin-nail, which I wore on my +thumb, constantly reminded me of my vow. Therefore, I considered it my +duty to tell Sumro Begum that I had a legal wife in Holland; and that, +were I to go back to her, I should find my child on her bosom. + +The Begum was not in the least offended when I made my confession; on +the contrary, she commended me for telling the truth. "He who proves +himself faithful to the absent one, will certainly remain loyal to the +one at hand," she quoted. Only a religion stood between her and me; +and that might easily be changed. + +"If we remain Catholics, of course two wives are out of the question," +decided the Begum, "because that would be bigamy. If we go over to the +Brahmans, their sacred books forbid the wife to occupy the throne with +her husband, and the widow from marrying again. But, there is the +faith of Siva; it permits a man to have more than one wife; it +acknowledges no difference of rank between man and man--as do the +Brahman and the Christian religions--nor does it consider a woman a +soulless animal, men and women are alike human beings. An adherent of +the Siva faith may even take a foreigner to wife; he may eat at the +same table with his wife, or wives, after the grace before food, +prescribed by the Prophet Bazawa, has been repeated. We will adopt +this faith, then you may keep your other wife, and I will share with +her your love and respect." + +I thought over this suggestion for several days, for the fate of an +entire province depended on my decision. + +On the one hand a people whose prosperity depended on how I would +settle the question; a yearly income of several million thalers, a +beautiful and clever wife with a heart filled with love for me, with +all the delights of paradise on her lips--on the other: the Roman +pope, with St. Peter's keys in his possession! + +In my position, your highness, and honorable gentlemen, how would you +have decided? + +"Get along with you, _perversus nebulo_!" exclaimed his highness, +smiling. "You want us to commit ourselves, do you? I'll warrant you +suspect what would have been our decision! I don't in the least doubt +but even the mayor here, would elect to kiss a beautiful woman rather +than the pope's slipper--especially if the choice were submitted to +him in the province of Sardhana! It is enough: you became an idol +worshipper--forced to it by circumstances. It is your own affair, and +one which you will have to settle with a higher tribunal than this +one. This indictment may be erased from the record." + +Not even the mayor objected to this decision. At first, though, he +wrinkled his brows and looked serious; but in the end he smiled with +the rest; and dictated to the notary, that the transgression last +confessed might be recorded as condoned by the court. + +Most worthy and honorable gentlemen, resumed the prisoner, I must now +tell you something about the customs and manners of that land whither +I had been led by the hand of destiny. Even the sky over there is +unlike ours. Why, the sun of Holland would not do for a moon in India! +Yon flaming heavens heat the blood and brain to boiling; the humid +atmosphere creates phenomena which are like the phantasmagoria of +delirium; triple suns, and wreaths of flame appear in the sky; when +frequently the mysterious _Fata Morgana_ portrays inverted landscapes, +and cities; the vivid coloring of the clouds causes the most brilliant +hues on the earth below to appear faded and insignificant. + +Forests, fields, houses, human beings, at times take on an ocherous +hue, as if the world were dead; and when a rain falls, it is a deluge +of fire from a sky of brass. And sometimes, the cloud-burst will be +like a rain of blood, and the whole earth will glow with the most +brilliant crimson hue. + +On very, very hot days, when the native farmers trudge along the +high-road (the high caste native never travels on foot, nor appears in +public at midday) the dust rising from their feet looks like a fiery +mist, and makes one think he is looking on the damned in hades walking +amid the flames! + +And there too the soil is so different from ours. There the plants we +grow in pots in our hot houses thrive and luxuriate under the open +sky, and form a wilderness, the lurking place of tigers and lions, in +which the fragrance of the very air is intoxicating as wine. + +The hundred different varieties of fruits, which ripen in succession +throughout the year, explain sufficiently how a people that outnumbers +the entire population of Europe are able to subsist on vegetable diet +alone, without the nourishment of meats, which their religion +prohibits. + +The borasses palm supplies them with honey, oil, wine, and sugar; +another palm yields flour, butter, and milk; and they have a tree on +which grow loaves of bread the size of a human head; raw, this +vegetable bread is a sweet fruit; baked, it is as palatable as a +bakers' loaf and-- + +"Stop! stop!" cried the chair, rapping on the table with his stick. +"That is going too far! Of all the lies you have told us, this one +about loaves of bread growing on a tree is the most outrageously +incredible." + +"I am very sorry that your honor refuses to believe there is such a +tree. The proof that I am not lying may easily be obtained, if your +honor will send a deputation to India, to make inquiries concerning +the truth of my statements, if it turns out that a single one of them +is lacking in truth, then your honor may disbelieve all the rest." + +"Oho!" sneered the chair, "you would like to postpone this trial for a +year or more, while a searching commission travelled to the end of the +world and back--wouldn't you? We prefer to believe that living +creatures also hang on trees like fruits." + +"And so they do!" responded the prisoner. "There is a sort of large +squirrel, or small dog, that has wings and flies, and at night hangs +by its hind legs to the limbs of trees, and looks like a gourd." + +"Didn't I say so?" again interrupted the chair with a choleric laugh. +"Flying dogs that sleep hanging by their feet! Go on with your fables, +you reprobate!--this honorable court is sitting for the sole purpose +of believing every lie you choose to tell. I am curious to hear how +your bread growing on trees, and your flying dogs are going to clear +you of the crimes of bigamy and regicide." + +I am coming to that, your honor. The entire world which environs the +human being in that distant land, works an irresistible influence on +his nature, and the native inhabitant compels, with his peculiar +religion, customs, his deeply-rooted prejudices, the foreigner +resident to adopt a mode of life antipodal to that he led at home. + +The majority of the natives wear no clothing at all; while the rest +bend under a costly burden of greatest splendor. + +The Indian is a mixture of the ideally perfect, and the grotesquely +hideous, heroic at one moment, cowardly the next, free as a bird, and +restricted as an anchorite. He is to be envied for his paradisal +simplicity, and admired for his gigantic creations. His cities surpass +in magnificence and grandeur those of Europe. His churches are +mountains, enormous edifices hewn by artist hands from a single rock; +with thousands of majestic columns, and armies of idols; while his +huts are more abjectly wretched than the dwellings of our beavers. The +Indian, with his thousand gods, to all of whom he renders service and +sacrifices--and of whom not one possesses the power to help him--is so +gentle-hearted, that he will not take the life of an animal; allows +himself to be devoured by lions and tigers; crushed under foot by the +rhinoceros; bitten by serpents; and stung by venomous insects--and +yet, he considers it no sin to exterminate an entire neighboring folk. + +Oh, that is a strange country: where the aristocrat, if touched by a +member of another caste, considers himself defiled, and possesses the +right to cut off the hand, or arm that touched him, and the mutilated +pariah accepts the punishment as his due. Where the wife is burned +alive on the funeral pyre of her husband; where the invalid is placed +on the banks of a river, and declared to be already dead, so that, +should he recover, he may not return to the living, but seek the +"community of the dead," which is made up of one-time invalids, +recovered like himself. + +Dwelling amid such a people, every idea the European entertains when +he lands on that shore very soon fades away; for, there, they have +different virtues and different sins. + +"This lengthy dissertation I take it," interrupted the chair, "is for +the purpose of acquainting the court that bigamy and regicide are +permissable crimes among that wonderful people?" + +Bigamy is permissable, your honor, on conditions: if the first wife +consents, her husband may marry a second. But, before the consent of +the first wife is secured, he may not kiss and embrace his second. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +MAIMUNA, AND DANESH. + + +My beautiful Zeib Alnissa was a wonderful woman. On the day of our +wedding, which was celebrated with truly Asiatic splendor, when +meal-time came, and I took my seat at the head of the table, she could +not be induced to sit by my side; but seated herself at the extreme +lower end of the board. This custom, she said, we should have to +observe, until we received my first wife's consent to our marriage, +which would give my second the right to repeat the Bazawa grace before +food. Until my new wife was entitled to perform this ceremony we were +not allowed to drink from the same cup; were not permitted to clasp +hands, or look into each other's eyes. I might not have respected all +these rigid laws, which kept me separated from my beautiful bride, had +not Zeib Alnissa herself understood how to compel me to respect them. + +The Siva religion prohibits the use of wine, which is to be regretted; +for, in that tropic zone, grow hundreds and hundreds of different +sorts of fruits, which would yield nectarious beverages, the taste of +which would cause one to forget all about wine, and disgust one with +beer. Tons of deliciously sweet and aromatic sap flow from the pierced +palm, and the agave, and its effect on the human senses is nothing +like the stupor which results from drinking our liquors; it is rather +a state of exaltation. + +My charming bride understood well how to entertain me with tales of +her native palm forests. She related the history of Prince Kamir +Essaman, and the Princess Bedur. She told me how the prince, who lived +in India, and the princess, whose home was in Persia, were brought +together while they slept, by the two friendly genii, Maimuna and +Danesh, who bore the sleeping lovers on their pinions to the place of +meeting, and then back to their homes again. It was an interesting +tale, but I grew very sleepy while listening to it. I am convinced +that the spicy potion Zeib Alnissa prepared for me caused the +drowsiness, and I only remember that, as I sank back on my pillow, she +placed the prohibitory unsheathed sword between herself and me. + +The moment I closed my eyes in sleep I quitted this earth. I could +hear the rustle of wings as I was borne swiftly through the clouds, +which parted with a sound like thunder--as when they are rent by +lightning. By the light of the stars I could see that I was lying on +the wings of the Jinnee, Danesh. + +He was of gigantic form; his wings, like those of a bat stretched from +horizon to horizon; his hair looked like bamboo rods, and his beard +like palm leaves. + +So swift was our flight that the moon changed from full to last +quarter above us. A meteor raced to overtake us, but, when it came +abreast with Danesh, he thrust out his foot, and gave it a kick that +burst it, and sent myriads of sparks flying in all directions. +Looking downward, I saw China, which I recognized by its porcelain +towers, and long canals. Then Thibet, with the snow-clad summits of +the Himalayan range, and the great Mongolian plain. + +At last we arrived over Mount Ararat. I knew where I was, by the +tongues of flame which encircled the mount like a wreath. They were +the altars of the fire-worshipping Parsees--the source of Baku's +eternal fires; and Danesh was one of the great spirits of the +flame-adoring heathen. On the summit of Mount Ararat was a magnificent +palace--to describe its splendors is impossible to the human tongue! +Its walls were covered with the names of those persons who have been +happy, and have thanked God therefor. The letters in which the names +are written are so radiant, they make night as light as day. + +Here, in a sumptuous apartment, with silken hangings, and glittering +with gems, Danesh laid me gently down on a divan; and immediately +began to laugh in a tone that sounded like thunder. + +In answer to his laughter, there came a sound from the air, as if the +balmy south wind were murmuring a complaint. + +"You are the one-hundred-thousandth part of a minute late," called +Danesh. + +"And you are three-hundred-thousand eons ahead of time," replied the +second Voice; and the next instant Maimuna descended from the sky. + +This Jinnee was also of giant stature, but of feminine form. Her +ringlets were of sea-coral, her wings of gleaming mother-of-pearl, +and on them she bore a woman whom she laid by my side on the divan. + +Then the two genii suddenly changed to vapor; one blue, the other +yellow; and while I was staring at them the two columns of smoke sank +into two large crystal decanters, which stood on the table among the +costly viands and wines. + +Then I turned to look at the woman by my side--it was my own wife, the +one I had left in Nimeguen, only that she was more beautiful, and +garbed more elegantly than I had ever seen her. + +Her voice too was sweeter, her caresses more endearing; she seemed +more like a celestial being than a woman of flesh and blood. We +showered kisses on each other; I could read in her radiant countenance +how overjoyed she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured to +clasp her once more in my arms. + +[Illustration: "I could read in her radiant countenance how overjoyed +she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured to clasp her once +more in my arms"] + +We committed a thousand foolish acts; laughed, teased each other like +children. We seated ourselves at the bountifully spread board; I +shared every bite she took; drank out of her glass; we sat on the same +chair, drank of every bottle, and found each one sweeter, more +delicious than the last. + +"Let us taste what is in those bottles too," suggested my wife, +pointing toward the two decanters--one blue, the other yellow. + +"Yes, let us," I assented, and I drew out the glass stoppers. But, +instead of wine, two columns of vapor rose from the decanters, one +blue, the other yellow, and filled the room. The vapor took shape, +first the blue then the yellow, and one became Danesh, the other +Maimuna, and we knew that our bliss was at an end--that we should have +to part. + +We added our names to those gleaming on the walls, to certify that we +also had been happy there. + +After I had written my name, it occurred to me that I had something +important to tell my wife; so I said to her: "My love, I must tell you +that I have become a king; and that I have taken a second wife. I want +to ask a favor of you; will you consent to let me kiss and embrace her +as I do you?" + +The woman replied: "I do consent." + +That I might have proof of our having spent a blissful hour together, +and that she had given me the desired permission to take a second +wife, she pressed my hand so tightly in her own, that the wedding ring +on my finger--the one with which I had espoused her--burst asunder. +And that she also might possess evidence of our meeting, I gave her +the "lingam"--the symbol of the Siva faith--I wore on my arm attached +to a gold bracelet. I also tore from the canopy over our divan a small +piece of the material of which it was made--crimson silk woven with +dragons in gold thread. + +Then the two genii took us again on their wings, and soon I was +speeding again amid the clouds, with the glittering stars above me. + +The icy summits of the Himalayas were already gleaming with the rosy +hues of dawn, on noting which Danesh increased his speed. I heard the +sea murmuring below--a ray of sunlight from the eastern mountains +pierced through Danesh like an arrow, he dropped me and I fell to the +earth. Fortunately I had not far to fall--only from my bed, in the +palace of Sardhana, to the floor! + +"Was it necessary to tell us what you dreamed?" angrily demanded the +chair. + +"Well, your honor, if the court at Nimeguen accepted my dream as +evidence, and based its decision on it, I think it may also be +recorded here. Moreover, the vision I have related is an important +factor in this case." + +I was so deeply impressed by my dream, that I related it to Zeib +Alnissa as an actual occurrence. I assured her I had really been with +my other wife, in proof of which I showed her the broken ring on my +finger. + +"It is a most wonderful occurrence!" was Zeib Alnissa's comment, when +I concluded my recital. "Write out the whole vision, exactly as you +related it to me, and we will send it to your wife in Holland. One of +my captains shall hasten with the document after the messenger you +have sent to her with the letter asking her to consent to our +marriage." + +I acted in accordance with the suggestion, and wrote on a long strip +of Chinese palm-paper, which is tough as leather, a full account of my +vision. The Begum then sent for seven bonzes, who were skilled +writers, that they might, by signing their names to the account, +certify that what I had written had really occurred; that Maimuna and +Danesh were a well known pair of genii, who maintained direct +communication between India and other portions of the globe, and that +there was on Mount Ararat a magnificent palace for the use of lovers +who came from distant parts of the world to meet there. All of which +was to prove indubitably that I and my wife from Holland had been +together in the palace. + +This document dispatched, I believed the question of the prohibitory +sword between me and Zeib Alnissa settled; but I was mistaken; she did +not repeat Bazawa's grace at supper. + +"On what are you waiting now?" I asked. "Haven't I asked my other wife +for her consent? Haven't I been with her, and given her my lingam?" + +"Yes, but she has not yet given you anything. Until I have her written +consent in my hands, I dare not repeat Bazawa's blessing," was Zeib +Alnissa's smiling reply. + +"And I shall have to wait at the gates of paradise, content myself +with inhaling the perfume of the flowers within the walls, until our +messenger has twice traversed the ocean between India and Holland?" + +"He will need to cross only once. I ordered him to take with him +several doves, the species with green feathers known as bridegroom's +doves. When your wife has written her consent, the messenger will bind +it under the wing of a dove, and it will fly from Holland to us here +in two days. So, you need reckon only the outward voyage." + +But that would take considerable time too! I began to wonder how I +should have comforted myself had I, instead of becoming an adherent of +Siva, adopted the faith of Brahma, or Vishnu, or any other of the +many-handed, many-footed deities. + +"Knave, what about Jehovah?" interposed the chair with just +indignation. + +"Jehovah, your honor, does not forbid polygamy. The patriarch Jacob +had two wives; David had four; Solomon the wise had one thousand four +hundred. But, it would be a pity to waste precious time over dogmatic +discussion. Besides, my wondering resulted in nothing. One hundred and +ten days and nights I passed in the society of my charming bride; we +ate at the same table; slept under the same canopy; but not once did I +clasp her hand, or kiss her lovely lips." + +"I am curious to know how you managed not to do either," observed the +prince. + +"Does your highness desire me to relate what happened on every one of +the one-hundred and ten days and nights?" + +"Not by any means!" hastily interrupted the chair. "We want only a +summary of your doings out yonder." + +The prisoner bowed, and resumed his confession: + +I determined that I would not again drink the sort of sleeping potion +which had sent me speeding among the clouds on Danesh's back, and +communicated my decision to Zeib Alnissa. + +"Very well," said she, "then I will prepare a drink for you that will +keep you awake all night." + +That would suit me. + +In India the preparation of elixirs of all sorts has reached a high +grade. There is a drug which, if taken by a man of mild disposition, +will make him warlike and fierce; it is called "bangue." + +By administering to the peaceable elephants a decoction of the +"thauverd," they can be made quarrelsome and ferocious for the combats +arranged for the Shah's guests. "Therat" will give one the +inspirations of a poet; after taking it, the most unimaginative person +will become a romancer, and composer of verses. The "Nazzarani" tax +can be collected from the natives only when they have become docile +and tractable from having eaten "mhoval" flowers--a species of manna. + +Zeib Alnissa gave me some "panzopari" to chew; it possesses a singular +property; it will make even the noisiest tippler so sober and sedate +that his brain becomes the seat of all wisdom. Then she began to speak +of her plans for the future government of our province, and other +equally important matters; continuing to talk to me until morning. And +during the whole time I remained quiet, and listened attentively; but +I saw what I had not yet noticed: that my incomparable bride had a +mole in the middle of her left cheek, and I also discovered that she +might be alarmingly loquacious if she chose. I could hardly wait until +the sun rose. Nothing will so effectually sober a man as advice from +his wife; and the remedy is frequently made use of in India as well as +in Europe. + +A true Indian Singh--that is what a nobleman is called out +there--undertakes nothing without first consulting his wife. Indeed, +there are some who never give an answer to a question until they have +asked their wives what they shall reply. For instance you ask: "What +sort of weather are we going to have this afternoon, Gholem Singh?" + +"I will consult my wife and tell you," he answers. + +In the afternoon he will say to you--and no matter if a deluge of rain +begins to fall while he is speaking: + +"We shall have fine weather this afternoon." + +The following day my bride and I set out on a tour of our kingdom--a +ceremony necessary to my installation as rajah. + +An entire brigade on horses, elephants, and camels, accompanied us as +escort. The Begum and I rode on separate elephants, as Indian +etiquette does not permit man and wife to occupy the same +"sovari"--that is what the sedan with a canopy on the back of an +elephant is called. + +The Begum travelled with the vanguard; I brought up the rear with a +good cannon bound to the back of my beast. A cannon, by the way, is a +very convenient travelling appendage to a journey in India, as one is +frequently called on to give a warm reception to the legions of +predatory bands which infest the highways and byways. + +My bride and I met only when our elephants chanced to come alongside +each other at the resting places. We took part in all sorts of +festivities. We bore with patience the wearisome ceremonies attendant +upon the adoration of the serpent, and Taku-worship; we even waded to +our knees in the sacred waters of the Ganges, at the Moharam +pilgrimage; and permitted the frantic Gusseins and fakirs at the +Holiza feast to shower over us the red dust of the highway. At the +Ganeza festival we distributed with our own hands the "muzzer," and +received in return the "khilla"--each word means gifts; the former is +bestowed by the sovereigns on their subjects; the latter are given by +the subjects to their rulers. Without this exchange of presents, the +sovereignty of the rulers would not be recognized by the people. We +visited in their turn all the principal towns and cities; the +god-burdened temples and pagodas, which are half church, half +tomb--the Jaina animal hospital, where the Hindoo takes care of +invalid dogs, cats, oxen, as well as crows, ravens, and turkeys. We +also honored with our presence the bayadere communities, where only +women dwell. These bayaderes are privileged characters, you must know; +they are allowed entry to the emperor's presence, to dance and sing +before him and his ministers. + +"Not a bad custom, by jove!" muttered the prince; aloud he asked: "Are +the bayaderes pretty?" + +"Enchantingly beautiful, your highness. Their garments are of silk and +cashmere, embroidered with real gold and pearls; their fingers and +toes are loaded with rings set with precious gems. Their gowns show a +lack of material as do those worn by our women, with this difference: +the shoulders and bosoms of our women are left bare; while the +bayaderes expose the lower extremities, sometimes even to the--" + +"Stop! stop!" irritably called the chair. "We don't want a full +description of heathen toilets!" + +We also arranged, for the entertainment of our subjects, a number of +gorgeous spectacles, and tournaments, resumed the prisoner, dropping +the subject of bayadere fashions. There were combats between +elephants, and combats between elephants and men. (The former are +called "Mufti;" the latter "Satmari.") There were also combats between +lions and boars, and between tapirs. + +In return for all these festivities, my bride's relatives entertained +us with a feast of lanterns; and games of chess, which were played +with living chess-men. We also visited the most remote corners of our +kingdom, where dwelt the Thugs, a community whose faith permits them +to strangle all foreigners; the Bheels, who worship epidemics instead +of gods; the colony of the Quadrumans, whose king is called "Dengue," +and his subjects "apes." + +Every day of our journey brought something new and interesting. After +our visit to the "City of the Seven Sages" we went to the "City of the +King's Tombs," where are four magnificent temples, under each of which +rest the remains of a king. There are no other inhabitants in this +city. + +Then followed the pilgrimage to Buddha's tree; for, although we were +adherents of the Sivan faith, we were obliged, in order to win the +favor of the majority of our subjects, to pay deference to their +deity. + +Then we journeyed to the "Fountain of Wisdom." There the temple is +guarded by bayaderes, who are not permitted to dance anywhere else but +in the sacred edifice in adoration of the gods. + +"A respectable temple, I must say!" ironically commented the chair, to +which the prince appended his good-humored observation: + +"Their liturgy can't be very tedious!" + +During all this time, I saw my bride only when she was seated on a +throne, on an elephant, or in a palanquin. The opportunities for an +exchange of words were rare. On the one hundred and tenth day we set +out on our return home. On the morning of that day, Zeib Alnissa sent +me a letter in which she gave me the welcome news that what might be +called our "St. Joseph's marriage" would soon come to a conclusion. +The carrier dove had returned from Holland with the longed-for consent +from my first wife. + +Before leaving our capital, we had arranged for a fitting reception to +greet our return. When our cavalcade should approach the city gates, +all the most distinguished residents, the raos, the singhs, the sages, +bonzes and holy men were to meet us at the head of a gorgeous pageant +and greet me as "Rajah," to which title our tour would have given me +the right. + +Then would follow a splendid feast, that would conclude with the +"utterpan" ceremony, in which every guest receives from the rajah's +own hands a handkerchief perfumed with rose-water. + +The rajah receives the utterpan from his wife, of whom he may demand +that the rose-water perfuming be performed in the zenana. + +The zenana is that portion of the palace which only the rajah and his +wives may enter. + +I am ashamed to confess it, honorable gentlemen of the court, but I +was so rejoiced, so proud of my success, my extraordinary good fortune +filled my soul to such a degree, that I never once thought to offer a +prayer to the god Siva, who had bestowed all the good gifts on me, or +to Jehovah, who could take them all from me. + +The fakir, who, in his religious enthusiasm, carries on his head a pot +of earth until the orange seed planted in it sprouts, grows to a tree, +blooms and bears fruit; who binds himself to a post, that he may sleep +standing so as not to lose his balance and drop the pot from his +head--that fakir does not suffer half as much as did I those one +hundred and ten days and nights, when I was forced to refrain from +saying to the most beautiful of women: "O, thou my sweetest one!" + +But the last day of such restraint and torture was at hand. Before us +lay the capital; the gilded roofs of its palaces gleamed through the +humid atmosphere. + +Already I could see rising from the market-place the "baoli," under +which the three-legged stone cow waited (as all believers know) for +the hour of midnight to hobble to her pasture outside the walls. +Already I saw the multitude in gala attire press forth from the +elaborately carved gates, on horses, on camels, on foot--a mingling of +gold, gems, beauty, flowers, with rags, filth and unsightly scars. + +Zeib Alnissa, as usual, rode at the head of the cavalcade, and I at +the end, separated from her by a cannon shot range. + +When the multitude from the city met the head of our cavalcade, there +ensued a tumult of shouts and cries, but I was too far away to +distinguish what was occurring. I could see, though, that Zeib Alnissa +had risen to her feet in the sovari, and was gesticulating excitedly. + +I was deliberating whether I should ride forward or remain where I +was, when a fakir forced his way to my side. He was the most hideous +specimen of his class I had yet seen; his appearance indicated that he +had vowed not to cut his hair nor his finger nails for a decade. + +"What do you want?" I called down to him. + +"I want you to let me come up there and sit beside you in the sovari," +he made answer. + +One is obliged to comply with any demand these holy men may see fit to +make--especially in face of such a multitude. I leaned over the side +of my beast, seized the fakir by the hair, and drew him into the +sovari. + +"Lucky for you that you granted my request," he said, when he was +seated by my side. "You have saved your life by so doing. Know that a +revolt broke out in the city during your absence. The conspirators +declared that the Begum forfeited the throne by marrying you, and have +proclaimed the valiant Singh Rais, the son of her first husband, Sumro +Shah, rajah of Sardhana. He has taken possession of the city and +bribed the army to support him. He has already executed the subjects +who remained loyal to you and the Begum, and the same fate awaits +you--if he captures you." + +Though loath to believe the fanatic's ill tidings, I was forced to +credit my eyes, which at that moment saw rude hands lay hold of my +beloved Zeib Alnissa, tear her from the sovari, bind her hands, and, +amid the taunts and sneers of the shameless nautchnees, compel her to +walk to the gates, while a man, wearing the pearl-decorated hat of a +sovereign, climbed to the vacated seat in the sovari. + +It was the infamous profligate who, by reason of the honors to which +his father had attained, was a prince, but who was, by birth, merely a +German nobody, like myself. + +He had deposed the Begum as he had threatened, had laid chains on +her--the heroic deliverer of her people--and this he had been able to +accomplish because he had become an adherent of the religion of +Buddha, and because the Begum had become a worshipper of Siva-- + +"The like of that never could have happened in Europe," interpolated +the prince. + +My rage and fury were boundless. In one brief moment to lose my +kingdom and my bride; to be robbed of power and love; to be forced to +look on helpless while a cowardly knave stole my treasures, chief of +which was my beautiful Zeib Alnissa! + +It was more than Christian patience and Siva humility could endure. + +I unstrapped the cannon at the back of the sovari. The new rajah was +haranguing the crowd gathered about his elephant, and gesticulating +rapidly with his hands, as he gave his orders. + +I took aim at his majesty--Boom! The next instant there was no head on +the rajah's shoulders, but his arms continued to move convulsively. + +Then I turned my elephant's head in the opposite direction, and urged +him to the swiftest gait he was able to go. + +A troop of horsemen followed me, but I dashed into the jungle, and +soon distanced my pursuers. My life was saved, but only my miserable +life. I had nothing, was nothing-- + +"Oh, yes," interrupted the chair, "you were a good deal: the husband +of two wives, and murderer of one king--" + +"_Minorem nego, majorem non concedo_," interposed the prince. "As the +prisoner's second marriage was--as he aptly described it: a St. +Joseph's union--merely one of form, he cannot be said to have +committed bigamy. And concerning the killing of the rajah--_qui bene +distinguit, bene docet!_--we would understand thereby that a crime had +been committed by a subject against a crowned head. But, if one king +kills another one, it cannot be called regicide, but ordinary +homicide, which, in the prisoner's case, was justifiable +manslaughter--" + +"I knew it!" exclaimed the chair. "I knew the rascal would talk +himself out of the three capital crimes: idolatry, bigamy, regicide, +and prove himself as innocent as St. Susanna!" + +But, continued the prisoner, even had I not been robbed of my wealth, +of what use would it have been to me? I had come to India to win the +rank of captain--not to become a rajah. It is a deal better to be a +pensioned captain than a deposed king. The new rajah of Sardhana set a +large price on my head; had I fled the accursed country then, I should +have spared myself the terrible misfortunes which overtook me later. + +I joined the Bandasaris, who have no fixed residence, but rove +continuously between the Ganges and the Indus. They are a race like +our gypsies. I believed I might organize them into an army and win +back my kingdom, and liberate my beautiful Zeib Alnissa, but the +blessing of God did not rest on my undertaking. + +When I had got my army ready to march to Sardhana, the chief of the +tribe changed his mind about letting me use his people to win back my +throne, and, instead, sold me to the English company, which +corporation had also offered a price for my head. Thus my unfortunate +cranium became the property of the powerful East India Company, and +there, if nowhere else, a man learns how to pray. + + + + +PART IX. + +ON THE HIGH SEAS. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE PIRATES. + + +The English did not think me of sufficient consequence to suspend me +in an iron cage over the crocodile pool. This honor was reserved for +the native shahs and rajahs. + +I was transported, with scant ceremony, to Bombay, from which city I +was shipped to sea, together with fifty other prisoners, who, like +myself, had come to India to seek their fortunes, and whose chief +crime was their nationality. They were natives of France, Holland, +Germany and Spain, and the East India Company believed it had a right +to arrest them and ship them in a body to New Caledonia. + +Now, honorable gentlemen of the court, I beg you to tell me which was +the pirate?--I, in the unseaworthy cutter, bound with chains to a +Spaniard, perspiring over my oars, sailing to New Zealand instead of +to New Caledonia, where the captain had been ordered to take us; +having nothing to eat and drink but dried fish and stale water, the +captain having again disobeyed orders, for the East India Company had +shipped honest biscuit, smoked meat and brandy for the prisoner's +food--which of us, I ask, was the pirate? the captain, who plundered +the helpless prisoners in his power and broke the maritime +laws--which, I ask, was the pirate; Captain Morder or I? + +"I say Captain Morder was the pirate--" and the prince emphasized his +reply by thumping the floor with his cane. + +Many thanks, your highness; I wanted the question decided, for, +against unauthorized force, self-defence is always justifiable. When +we poor exiles became aware that our vessel was going farther and +farther south, which we were able to judge from the stars; when, in +consequence of the wretched food, the scurvy broke out among us; and +when at last we also got a taste of the scourge, if we made any +complaint, we conspired together to release ourselves from our chains; +and to take possession of the cutter. + +My hidalgo comrade was an expert in such matters. He showed us how to +get rid of our manacles as easily as if they had been gloves or boots. +It is a very pretty trick, but I don't think I could show you how it +is done unless I received something in return-- + +"We don't want to learn the trick," interrupted the chair. "We have no +use for it." + +Well, after we had removed our fetters, we bound the sleeping crew, +and, without shedding one drop of blood, made ourselves masters of the +"Alcyona." + +Now, honorable gentlemen of the court, I ask you: Can what we did be +called mutiny? We were not the slaves of the East India Company; we +were not prisoners of war; nor were we criminals. The captain had no +right to chain us to the oars; we had done nothing to deserve +deportation to a savage country. + +On Captain Morder, however, rested most of the blame. He treated us +free men like negro slaves; he gave us nothing to eat for a whole week +but dried fish, though not all of us were papists; and to be more +disagreeably contrary, he gave us smoked meat on Fridays because the +majority of our crowd were Catholics. + +"That rascally captain deserved to be hanged to the tallest mast on +his ship!" exclaimed the justly indignant prince. + +Yes, your highness, he did, but we didn't hang him, because we +couldn't get hold of him. While we were securing the crew, he fled +discreetly to the powder-room, and threatened to blow up the ship when +we went to take him. We had to treat with him for terms. We assured +him we did not want to injure him; we only wanted to leave his ship. +To this he replied that we might go to the devil for all he cared. + +Then followed a twenty-four hour truce, and our first business was-- + +"To eat your fill," interposed the chair. + +Yes, your honor, to eat and drink all we wanted. Then we lowered the +large boat, supplied it with mast and sails; loaded it with all the +chests of biscuit, and casks of brandy it would hold, also a small +cannon. Then we cut into bits the rigging of the cutter; threw +overboard all the weapons we could find, in order that the captain +could do us no injury in case he took it into his head to pursue us; +took possession of his charts, compass, and telescope, and sailed away +one beautiful moonlight night without saying goodbye to any one. How +did Captain Morder reach home with the "Alcyona?" I really forget +whether I ever heard. + +There were fifty of us in the boat--five different nationalities. As I +was the only one who could speak the five different languages, I was +elected ship's patron, an office which differs from that of captain in +that the latter commands every one on board a vessel, while the former +carries out what his companions decide. + +"I see plainly to what this subtle distinction will lead," dryly +observed the chair. "Some one else will have to bear the blame for +whatever misdeeds the 'ship's-patron' committed." + +I am compelled to admire the honorable gentleman's keen perceptions, +returned the prisoner in his most deferential manner. In this case, +however, they are at fault; neither the ship's company nor its patron +did anything which deserved yard-arm punishment. + +Our intention, when we left the ship was to land in Florida, or the +Philippines, and there found a new republic. But more than one +unlooked-for hindrance prevented us from carrying out the plan. Hardly +had the "Alcyona" disappeared from view, when a dead calm settled down +on us; it was so still the sails hung in heavy folds from the yards; +we could make progress, and that only very slowly, when we employed +the oars. + +The calm continued for two days, during which not a breath of air +wrinkled the surface of the ocean. + +"Didn't you say you had taken all the provisions on the ship?" +inquired the chair. + +"Yes, your honor, but 'all' was only the one-half of 'many,' and +exactly the one-tenth of 'enough.' Even had there been 'many,' we had +'more' hungry mouths, and to take plus from minus is not permissable +in Algorithm." + +"And it can't be done," authoritatively interposed the prince. "You +can't take eight from seven unless you borrow. From whom did you +borrow, prisoner?" + +"From a crab-fisher we met, your highness. During a calm, the large +sea-crabs are more easily taken than at other times." + +The honorable gentlemen of the court will have learned from natural +history the peculiar characteristics of the sea-crab, which is of all +living creatures--the human being not excepted--the most timorous. +When a crab hears thunder or cannonading, he immediately flings off +one of his huge claws, in order that he may escape more quickly. + +Crab-fishers know this, and have made a compact with all warships, by +which the latter have agreed to refrain from firing off cannon when in +sight of a crabbing vessel. This is the reason all such vessels have a +large red crab painted on their sails. The compact also obliges the +fishers to deliver half of their catch to any warship they may meet on +the high seas. + +Consequently when we came in sight of the crabber we signalled for our +share of his catch. We had eaten all our dried fish, and were on +half-rations of biscuit. + +"Oho!" called the fisher when he came near enough to distinguish the +character of our craft. "How can you demand crabs of me? You aren't a +warship." + +"But we are hungry, and have a cannon on board. You know the result of +a cannon-shot during a calm!" + +This threat brought the argument to a conclusion; the crabber, +according to seaman's custom, shared his catch with us. + +"If," interposed the prince in a thoughtful manner; "If it was +according to seaman's custom it cannot be termed 'piracy.'" + +"No, certainly not!" ironically appended the chair. "It cannot be +termed piracy--only an act of playfulness--a bit of frolic! But, let +us hear what other pranks the band of fifty played with their cannon? +I will spread the map here on the table, so that I may follow the +course of your boat. I fancy I shall be able to tell from that whether +you and your fellows comported yourselves as honest seamen or thievish +pirates." + +There was an almost imperceptible twitch of the prisoner's left eyelid +when the mayor concluded his remark, and spread the map on the table +in front of him. + +In the neighborhood of the Marquesas Islands, honorable gentlemen, we +fell in with a Spanish ship loaded with coffee. The captain, in +response to our petition, supplied us with coffee, chocolate, and +honey. This enabled us to continue our journey; we sailed toward the +Aleutians, and met on our way a Russian merchantman, the owner of +which took pity on us, and gave us several barrels of good brandy and +salted fish. + +When we were near the island of Yucatan our provisions again gave out, +and we were compelled to borrow from an Italian trader some sago-palm, +flour and several boxes of sultanas. + +"What need had you of sultanas?" inquired the chair. + +Sultanas are not women, your honor, but dried grapes, which are packed +in boxes. When a man is starving he will eat anything! In the +neighborhood of Barbados a Turkish vessel very kindly gave us a supply +of pickled pork; and the captain of a Chinese junk we fell in with +near the Canary Islands, was friendly enough to share his wine with +us. + +When off Madagascar, a Greek captain loaded our boat so generously +with _rahut rakum_, it almost foundered under the weight; and when +near Terre del Fuego we-- + +"Hold! stop!" screamed the chair thumping with both fists on the map. +"If I wanted to make an accurate diagram of your course, I should have +to tie a thread to the leg of a grasshopper and let him loose on a +blank sheet of paper! A courier on horseback could not have made such +twists and turns!" + +"We did travel in a sort of zig-zag fashion," admitted the prisoner +deprecatingly; "but, you see, none of us understood navigation. +Besides, our charts were not accurate, and our compass full of whims." + +"Must have been a feminine compass!" jocosely remarked his highness. + +"To tell the truth, honorable gentlemen, I am not quite certain if +the names I have given you are the ones properly belonging to the +portions of the globe we visited. The excellent custom which obtains +in all civilized regions, of posting the names of places at the +street-corners, had not yet reached those remote corners. I can assure +you, however, that we really met all the ships I have mentioned, as we +were forced to beg our way over the limitless ocean." + +"Beg your way!" sarcastically interrupted the chair. "It seems to me +that fifty determined men, with small arms and a cannon, and a boat as +swift as yours might have overtaken almost any other craft afloat." + +"We did overtake a good many, your honor, and all of them very +willingly shared their provisions with us when they saw we were in +distress." + +"Do you remember meeting a merchantman from Bremen?" + +"Don't I? Don't I remember the generous gentleman! We met him near the +Cape of Good Hope. That point of land hasn't got its name for nothing! +It brought 'good hope' back to us! We were in tatters; the stormy +weather; long voyage; and many hardships had reduced our frames to +skeletons, our clothing to rags. When the brave man--blessed be his +memory!--came up with us, and saw our nakedness, he took off his own +coat and gave it to me--may heaven's blessings rest on him wherever he +may be!" + +"He tells quite a different story," responded the chair. "On his +return home, he complained to the Hansa League that a boat load of +pirates was sailing the high-seas, plundering, and levying +contributions, from all vessels it met. He also related how the +pirates had taken all his, as well as his crew's clothing. This must +be true; for no Bremen trader has ever been known willingly to give +coat of his to anyone. Bremen is not far away. We can summon the +complainant--whose name, I believe, is Schulze--and let him tell his +story here--" + +"May I beg that your honor"--quickly interposed the prisoner--"will at +the same time summon the witnesses who will testify for me? They are, +the Spanish merchant Don Rodriguez di Saldayeni, from Badajos; the +Russian captain, Bello Bratanow Zwonimir Tschinowink, from +Kamtschatka; the Italian, Signor Sparafucile Odoards, from Palermo; +the Turk, Ali Baba Ben Didimi Effendi, from Brusa; the Chinese +mandarin, Chien-Tsen-Triping-Van, from Shanghai; the Greek, Heros +Leonidas Karaiskakis, from Tricala; the--" + +"Enough! enough!" roared the mayor clapping his hands to his ears. "I +don't want to hear another name. Rather will I believe every word you +say! You were sea-beggars, impoverished voyagers--anything but +pirates! Will your highness permit us to erase also this indictment +from the register?" The prince assenting, his honor added: "Now we +will hear how the crime of cannibalism will be disposed of." + +"I will first take the liberty to remind the honorable gentlemen of +the court, that anthropophagy is not at all times considered a capital +crime. The inhabitants of the Fiji Islands look upon it as the only +proper method to dispose of a captured foe. The eating of human flesh +is a part of the religious cult of the Mexicans; and during the +Tartar invasion of Hungary, the people--as Rogerius proves--who had +been robbed of the necessaries of life, were forced to eat each other. +To such a condition of starvation we were also reduced, a fearful +hurricane having compelled us, while on the Pacific ocean, to throw +overboard all our stores in order to prevent the boat from sinking--" + +"Now you are telling another story," thundered the chair. "You say you +were on the Pacific ocean. If it is a _pacific_ ocean how is it +possible that such a storm as you describe raged there? You shall be +bound to the wheel, if you don't confess at once that hurricanes never +rage on the Pacific Ocean." + +Your honor is right--my memory served me ill--there are no such storms +on the Pacific Ocean. But there are sharks. The voracious beasts +surrounded our boat in such numbers that, in order to prevent them +from eating us, we gave them all our provisions, hoping to fall in +with a kind-hearted captain who would replenish our larder. But we +didn't meet a single ship. For two whole weeks we managed to keep +alive by eating our boots, and not until the last pair had been +devoured, did we decide to resort to the "sailor's lunch," and cast +lots which of us should be served up as such. + +My name was drawn, and I made up my mind to die calmly--_pro bono +publico_. But, when I began to remove my clothes, the Spaniard to whom +I had been chained on the "Alcyona," and for whom I entertained the +affection of a brother, stepped forward and said: + +"You shall not die, brave rajah. You have a wife--nay, two of them, +to whom your life is valuable. Here am I--your brother, who will +consider it a privilege, an honor--as did the brave Curtius when he +galloped into the abyss to save the republic--to fling myself into +these hungry throats!" + +With these words the noble fellow drew his sword, severed his head +from his body and laid it before us. + +"Did you eat any of him?" + +"I was starving, your honor." + +"That establishes your crime. The punishment for eating a body endowed +with a human soul is death at the stake, you--" + +"Hold," interposed the prince. "What portion of the Spaniard's body +did you consume, prisoner?" + +"His foot, your highness." + +"Has the human foot a soul?" + +"Why, certainly," answered the chair. "How frequently do we hear: 'His +sense or his courage are in his knees'--sense and courage cannot exist +without a soul. And, don't we say: 'Honest from his crown to his +toes'--whereby we establish that even the toes possess a soul.'" + +"These are merely phrases--maxims," returned the prince. "If the soul +extends to the extremities, then the man who has a foot amputated +loses a portion of his soul also; and it might happen, that +one-quarter of a human soul would go to paradise, and the other +three-quarters to hades--which it is absurd to suppose could be the +case. To my thinking this is so important a question, that only the +faculty of theology is capable of deciding it. Until those learned +gentlemen have delivered an opinion on the subject, we cannot go on +with this case. Therefore, the prisoner is remanded to his cell until +such decision shall arrive." + +A week was the time required by the learned faculty to discuss the +questions: "Does the soul extend to the extremities of the human +body?" + +If not, just where does it terminate? + +The decision was as follows: + +"The soul extends to the knees--for this reason man is required to +kneel when he prays. Consequently, that portion of the human frame +below the knees is a soulless appendage." + +"Then," decided the prince, when this decision was read to him, "the +indictment for cannibalism may also be stricken from the register." + + + + +PART X. + +UXORICIDE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE SECUNDOGENITUR. + + +Although my crime has been most generously condoned by your highness, +I have not escaped punishment for it. I have suffered severely. After +partaking of the unnatural food, all in the boat were seized with +frightful convulsions, similar to those exhibited by a dog afflicted +with rabies. + +The smallest particle of the accursed food is sufficient to make a man +experience all the tortures of purgatory. I dare say the reason my +sufferings were not so severe as those of my comrades, I ate only the +foot. They foamed at the lips; their eyeballs burst from the sockets; +they bit each other, and rent and tore their own flesh. They bellowed, +roared, and whined, as dogs do at the moon. Many of them sprang at +once into the water and were devoured by sharks. + +When my worst torture passed, my limbs became cold and rigid as stone; +it was the marasmus. I could see, and hear, but I could neither feel +nor move. The fierce sun beating on my face threatened to burn out my +eyes, but I could not lift my hands to cover them. To seize the +horizon and draw it up to the zenith would have been an easier task +than to close my eyelids over the burning eyeballs. + +Yet, amid all this horrible pain, I had the feeling as if a faint +zephyr from fluttering wings were sweeping across my cheek. It was the +white dove perched on my shoulder, my beautiful white dove, who was +come to me again in my hour of direst need! She tried with her +outstretched wings to shield my face from the scorching sun, and the +blessed shadow brought such relief that I was at last able to close my +eyes in sleep. + +How long and whither the dismasted and rudderless boat drifted; +whether it touched any shore--I cannot remember. I don't know what +happened during my madness. + +My comrades in misfortune were lost; some drowned themselves to end +their agony; some died a horrible death in the boat. I alone was saved +by a heavenly providence for further trials. The drifting boat was +found by an Indian merchantman bound for Antwerp, and the noble +Christians aboard of her, believing life not yet extinct in my +miserable body, worked over me until they brought back the soul to its +earthly tenement. + +I forgive every enemy I have in the world; but my benefactor on that +Indian merchantman, who brought me back to life, I never can forgive. +Had he cast me into the waves instead of resuscitating me, I should +now be ambergris, for, as the honorable gentlemen know, that valuable +substance develops in the stomach of a shark, and I should have been +devoured by one of those voracious beasts. Instead of a wretched +criminal on trial for his many misdeeds, I should now, had I been +allowed to become ambergris, be swinging in a censer perfuming the +altar of a church. The care I received on board the Indiaman fully +restored my strength, and when we arrived in the harbor in Holland +there was no trace about me of the many hardships I had endured. + +I could hardly wait until I got back to Nimeguen to see my dear wife +and child. The child would be running about now--perhaps the mother +had taught it to call me by name! + +How happy I should be to be home again!--no captain, no rajah, but a +father. + +Not the consort of a Begum, but the husband of my wife. I blessed the +fate which had delivered me from the land of lions, tigers and +serpents. Had not I a tulip garden worth all the wealth of India? + +I turned night to day in order to reach home as quickly as possible, +and sent mounted estafets in advance to announce my coming. My wife, +who had increased in weight fully twenty-five pounds, had a splendid +repast prepared for me; and flung her arms around my neck when I +alighted from the carriage. + +After our first transports of joy were over, my first words were: + +"Now, where is my child?" + +"There they come," replied my wife, pointing, with a beaming +countenance, toward two nurse-maids who were descending the +staircase. One of the maids led by the hand a little toddling lad; the +other carried an infant in long clothes on her arm. + +"What--what does that mean?" I stammered, pointing toward the smaller +child. + +"That is your second born, you silly fellow!" replied my wife, smiling +affectionately. + +"My second born?" I exclaimed in amazement. "Why, I have been absent +for nearly three years." + +"Have you forgotten Maimuna and Danesh?" she whispered, hiding her +blushing face on my breast. "Have you forgotten our meeting in the +palace on Ararat?" + +"Maimuna and Danesh?--_Himmelkreuzelement!_" I exclaimed, unable to +suppress the forcible expletive. + +My wife, however, was roused to anger by it. Did I presume to doubt +her fidelity? she demanded in no gentle accents. Had she not in her +possession ample proof that she was true to me? Had she not my own +letter, in which I related at length the circumstances of our meeting +on Ararat, whither we had been taken by the two genii? Was a better +proof required than the lingam I had given her at that meeting--also +the fragment of stuff with gold dragons woven in it? And, if it was +true that I was a king at the time of our meeting on the mountain, +then the infant on the maid's arm must be a prince! + +"Woman," I returned in a severe tone, "this is not a matter for jest. +Visions are not real. That I dreamed a delightful dream I admit; but +this squalling brat is no dream! On the contrary, he is a very +disagreeable reality! I'll go at once to the burgomaster! I'll +denounce you to the arch-bishop! I'll summon the consistory! I will +not allow myself to be made a fool of!" + +"Very well," retorted my wife, "go to the burgomaster--go to the +arch-bishop--summon the consistory, make a tremendous ado, and you +will prove yourself a greater fool than I believed you!" + +I carried out my threat and rushed to the burgomaster's residence. He +was still asleep, but I dragged him out of bed, and told him the +French were coming to attack the town. That drove slumber from his +eyes; and I proceeded to lay my complaint before him. He kept yawning +the while so dreadfully that I feared he might swallow me before I got +through with my story. + +When I concluded, he deliberated several minutes, then said I should +come again the next day--he would have to think over the matter. + +I was forced to go back to my wife. I couldn't help myself, for I +hadn't a groschen to my name, and the Nimeguen inns will not receive a +guest unless he pays in advance for his entertainment. + +To my shame therefore I was compelled to go home, and now it was my +wife who raged and scolded. She said I might complain as much, and to +whomsoever I wanted, it would benefit me nothing. If I did not accept +the situation with a good humor, mine would be the loss--and so on. + +I bore her taunts, and revilings, in silence, for I felt great need of +supper and rest; but I said to myself: "There is a tomorrow--I'll have +my revenge then!" + +The next day I went again to the burgomaster; he was able to keep +awake this time. + +He asked me if he should speak to me as to a Nimeguen gunner, or an +East Indian sovereign? + +"As to an Indian rajah," I replied. + +"Very good!--also: Sublime Maharajah, nabob, or Shah--whichever is the +proper title--be seated." My title permitted me to put on my hat, +while respect for it obliged the burgomaster to remove his office cap. +He continued: "Be kind enough to answer the following questions: How +many wives does the law permit an Indian sovereign to marry? How many +elephants, camels, rhinoceroses, male and female genii, and other +draught cattle, is he allowed to employ in his service?" + +I saw what would be the result if I answered these questions, so I +said instead: + +"I beg pardon, your honor, but, on second thought, I believe I would +rather have you speak to me as to a gunner of Nimeguen--according to +European custom." + +"Very good again--also. You gunner-fellow, take off your hat this +instant!" he commanded, at the same time placing the cap on his head. +"As it is contrary to our Christian laws to take a second wife while +the first is still alive, I shall pronounce you guilty of bigamy, the +punishment for which is the pillory first, and the galleys afterward." + +This did not suit me either, so I interrupted: + +"May I beg that you will speak to me as to an Indian sovereign?" + +I put on my hat, but the burgomaster did not again remove his cap. He +said: + +"You had command of a province, and a pair of flying genii; therefore, +it is quite within the bounds of possibility that you and your first +wife were borne through the air to the meeting-place on the mountain +you mention. That being settled, what else do you complain of? Have +you lost anything?" + +"No, your honor, quite the contrary; I have found something; a son I +did not expect." + +"Is the child living?" + +"He is." + +"Well--if he is living he is alive. That which is, cannot be +denied--it is a fact, and that which is a fact cannot be termed +fiction--" + +This ridiculous un-reasoning angered me, and I interrupted him, +whereupon there ensued a war of words that raged furiously until it +culminated in an exchange of blows. + +The case was not one for a mere burgomaster to decide; I would submit +it to the consistory. I did not know then what I had undertaken! + +All Nimeguen is related; its citizens are cousins or brothers-in-law, +and withal exceedingly moral. If it so happens that any one of them +commits an indiscretion, all the rest take great pains to conceal the +misdeed. I don't mean that it is never mentioned in private; but there +is not a court of law in the land that could summon a witness who +would admit that he, or she, knew anything about the matter. In my +case, servants, neighbors, citizens, all averred that my wife was the +pattern of fidelity; that she had not been known to leave her house, +only when she went to confession and to church; that she had not even +bought a new cap during my entire absence. + +Consequently, my accusations were ridiculous, and wholly without +foundation. + +Her defense had a powerful base to rest on. There was the letter +written by my own hand on Chinese palm-paper, describing our meeting +in the palace on Mount Ararat, and attested by the bonzes, who, as +everybody knows, are learned men, and as worthy of trust as any member +of our chapter-house. + +Consequently, there must be such fairies as Maimuna and Danesh, else +the bonzes would not have testified to their existence. If there were +no such creatures in Europe, it was because the climate was too +severe. There are no elephants in Holland, yet no one would deny their +existence elsewhere--not even the man who had never seen one, would +deny that they roamed the jungles of India! Moreover, is there not +mention made in the Holy Scriptures of a chariot of fire journeying +with a passenger through the air? And did not Jonah make a voyage on +the ocean, in the stomach of a whale? + +If holy men could make such journeys, why should anyone deny that the +genii Maimuna and Danesh had carried a man and his wife to the palace +on Mount Ararat?--especially as both man and wife had desired the +meeting, whereas Jonah had never expressed the least desire to enter +the whale's belly. + +Added to this evidence, my wife possessed in the lingam absolute proof +of my having been with her on Ararat--also the fragment of +dragon-cloth, the like of which was not to be found in all Europe--all +irrefragable proofs! + +You may guess that the consistory did not hesitate long to deliver an +opinion. + +Although it was almost impossible to believe that so remarkable a +journey could have been accomplished a respectable and pious lady had +really travelled from Nimeguen on the wings of an East Indian Jinnee, +at night, to Mount Ararat, and back in the morning. + +Also: It was not at all likely that the said respectable and pious +lady, the former widow of a captain, wife of a gunner, and consort of +an Indian rajah, would demean her respectable station, and inflict a +stain on her wedded fidelity. Therefore, the woman accused of adultery +was guiltless; and the father of the _surculi masculi_ found at home +by the returned gunner, was no other than he, the _nuptić +demonstrant_. And with this decision I was forced to be satisfied, +also with my wife and the infant. + +Here, the prince laughed so heartily that he burst a button from his +collar. + +"An amusing story, by my word!" he exclaimed. "I would not have missed +it for a riding-horse! Ha, ha--to decide that a vision really happened +because the dreamer wrote an account of it--ha, ha, ha!" + +"And did everything really happen as you related it?" inquired the +chair. + +Everything--I give my word of honor--what am I saying? Not by my +honor, but by the rope around my neck, I swear that everything +happened just as I told you. You may apply to the authorities of +Nimeguen, who will substantiate my account. Because of its remarkable +character, the case is recorded in the chronicles of the city. This +will explain the deed I was forced to commit afterward. + +"We will hear you confess it tomorrow," said the prince. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE QUICKSANDS. + + +My case had been decided by the consistory. I was not the first man +who had had such an experience; and I was philosophical enough to +conclude that if other men had survived their disgrace, I might also. + +So, I made up my mind to forgive my wife, and live amicably with her. +I acted as if nothing had happened to mar the relations between us, +and all would have been well, had not my neighbors tormented me beyond +endurance. + +I became furious every time I went into the street. Everybody saluted +me as "your majesty." They would inquire how I was getting on with my +crowns--as if I had a dozen! One man would ask me if I had seen a +Maimuna lately; another would tell me he had seen a stork with a baby +in its bill fly through the air. I received scurrilous letters through +the post, and bands of singers would stop under my window and chant my +shameful history from beginning to end. In short, everything those +Nimeguen citizens could invent to annoy me was done. I boiled with +rage, for I was unable to defend myself. + +In any other community I could have defended myself from such +persecution. I should have challenged the first one who insulted me, +and run him through with my sword. That is an effective way to +silence scurrilous tongues. In Nimeguen, however, it would have been +impossible to find a second to deliver a challenge; and if I had sent +it by a messenger the challenged person would have hastened at once to +the burgomaster to complain that I had threatened to murder him. + +If I had tweaked the nose of a fellow for refusing to give me +satisfaction, he would have sued me; and I would have been sentenced +to pay three marks for a nose-tweak, and six for a slap on the mouth. +This would have resulted in my spending nearly all my time in the +burgomaster's office, because of the numerous summons to answer the +charge of assault and battery, and my wife would have been kept busy +paying the fines. + +At last, I could endure it no longer. I told my wife I should have to +go away, and she decided that we would go together to Vliessingen, +where she would drink the medicinal waters. + +I was glad enough to accompany her. I would have gone anywhere to be +rid of my tormenters. But I was mistaken in believing I should be rid +of them at Vliessingen. I received anonymous letters by every post; +but I paid no heed to them until one day I received the following: + +"What a stupid fellow you are! Your wife does not need a jinnee to +carry her where she wants to go. You are her Maimuna; and Vliessingen +is the Ararat whither Danesh has transported her lover. He has sent +her a red velvet cap trimmed with gold braid and white lace, and +every time she wears it, she signals to him that you will be away from +home that day. Oh, stupid dolt that you are!" + +This was more than enough. + +My wife had received just such a cap as was described in the letter; +and when she put it on, it always seemed to me that she looked +happier. + +I began to find fault with the cap. I begged her not to wear it, or at +least not to go out doors when she had it on. But she persisted in +wearing it, and ridiculed my anger, until I got to hate the sight of +the red cap. + +One day I was obliged to go to Antwerp on business. My wife insisted +on accompanying me part of the way, as I should have to walk a +considerable distance from the baths to take a conveyance. + +Something--my white dove mayhap--whispered in my ear not to let her go +with me; that it would be better for both of us if she remained at +home. + +But she had set her head on going, and nothing could prevent it. And +she put on the red cap! + +I remonstrated with her about wearing it, but she laughed at me and +said: + +"You silly fellow! Of whom are you jealous, here in this sandy desert? +Of the gulls, perhaps?--or the moles?" + +Are the honorable gentlemen of the court familiar with that region? +No? + +Then it will be necessary to describe it, in order that what I relate +may appear clear to you. + +The entire country thereabout is an arid waste, a seemingly +illimitable stretch of sand dunes, and brackish pools, partly grown +with brown reeds, broom and heath, but so stunted that the horns of +the cattle grazing there are plainly seen. The herders are obliged to +wear long stilts. This uninhabited territory is separated by a dike +several feet in height from the downs, which is a fearful region. + +There, earth and water are combined against man and beast; the two +life-dispensing elements have become agents of death. The sand blown +from the shore of the sea settles on the deep pools and dries. No +plants grow there, and woe to the man or beast that strays on to the +downs from the dike, or the heath beyond. The sand will sink beneath +the feet of the incautious wanderer; if he draws up one foot, the +other will sink yet deeper. At first, the instability of the earth +amuses him; he fancies that, when he shall tire of the amusement, it +will be easy enough to leave the place. + +But the sand into which he is slowly but surely sinking is bottomless. +Inch by inch the unfortunate victim is swallowed--as is the dove in +the jaws of the serpent. Not until he has sunk to his waist, does +despair seize him, and he realizes that escape is impossible. Every +effort to extricate himself is futile--he only sinks the deeper into +the treacherous sand. + +In vain he shouts for help. No help will come to him, for, he that +hears despairing cries from the downs, will flee in the opposite +direction to get beyond reach of the sound, knowing well that were he +to attempt to rescue the sinking wretch he too would be engulfed in +the quicksand. + +When the victim's head has vanished beneath the surface, only a +funnel-shaped depression marks the spot where a living creature has +met death, and this sign will be obliterated by the first wind that +blows across the sands. + +As I have mentioned before, a dike, with a road along its summit, +divides the treacherous quicksands and the grazing cattle. + +It was along this dike-road that my wife and I walked arm in arm the +morning I started for Antwerp. + +"You see, my love," I said to her, "how happy we are together when +there is no one to disturb us. I should want for nothing else on earth +if you would but promise not to wear that red cap again." + +"And I," she returned, "need only to wear this red cap in order to +make me perfectly contented and happy." + +"Very well, then wear it--wear three red caps, one over the other, +only don't wear this one while I am away from you." + +"Well--I won't wear it while you are away." + +"Swear that you won't?" + +"No, I will not swear not to wear it, for if I should forget my oath, +and put the cap on, then I should perjure myself--and no cap is worth +that!" + +"Then the cap is dearer to you than I am?" I asked. + +"Do you hate the cap so much that you hate me because I wear it?" she +inquired in turn. + +"I have just cause to hate this cap, and I don't want to hate you for +the same reason. Promise not to wear it while I am away." + +"No, I will not promise--you must not be so quarrelsome." + +"I will show you why you ought not wear it. Here, read this letter I +received from Nimeguen." + +I took the letter from my pocket, and gave it to her. Her face took on +the hue of her cap as she read, and when she had finished, she stamped +her foot, tore the letter into bits and flung them over the downs, +exclaiming: + +"Now, I shall wear the cap for spite." + +"No, you shall not wear it," I cried, beside myself with rage. + +I tore the cap from her head and flung it after the letter. What +followed, the honorable gentlemen of the court will be able to +conjecture after I have described my wife's figure and disposition. + +In Holland, as well as in some other portions of the globe, married +people occasionally disagree; but I believe that only in Holland is it +the husband who goes to a justice of the peace with a blackened eye to +substantiate a complaint against his wife. + +My spouse was no exception to her fellow-countrywomen. Taller by half +a head than I, broad-shouldered and with a powerful chest, she could +hold at arm's length a small child seated on her hand--and it was a +hand, too, that would render superfluous a _visam repertum_, if it +came in contact with a human face! + +And from this amazon I had dared to snatch a favorite cap, and toss it +on the quicksands. As I flung the cap away, the woman threw herself +against me like an enraged elephant, and sent me staggering backward +to the edge of the embankment, where I turned a somersault down into +one of the bitter, natron-impregnated pools on the heath, in which not +even a leech can exist. + +I had fallen with my head in the water; it sank to the chin in the +slimy mud at the bottom, and had it not been for my presence of mind, +I should have drowned; for the most expert swimmer will forget his +skill if he finds his eyes, nose, mouth and ears filled with mire--and +mire, too, that burns and stings like nettles. + +I managed with great difficulty to wriggle out of the pool, but I +could see neither sky nor earth for several minutes. It took +considerable time to cleanse the mire from my mouth, nose, eyes and +ears; and it was hours before I could hear again. + +I felt like one resuscitated from drowning; my entire body burned as +if I were covered from crown to sole with a vesicatory. Then I began +to think of what might have happened while I was sitting on the heath +ridding myself of the mire. + +I could not see my wife anywhere on the embankment. What had become of +her? + +I was compelled to wade through the pools a considerable distance, in +order to get back to the dike-road, for the embankment where I had +fallen over was too steep to be climbed. + +Therefore, a half hour or more passed before I stood again on the +dike-road looking about for my wife. She was nowhere in sight on the +road. Then I turned toward the sands, and what I saw there caused the +blood to curdle in my veins--the foolish woman had gone after her cap! + +She had it on her head, which, with her two arms, was all that was +visible of her body above the sands. It was a horrible sight. Her +staring eyes were fixed on me in accusation, her hands battled vainly +with the empty air, her lips were open, but no sound issued forth. She +was still alive, but entombed. + +I thought of nothing but saving her. I sprang down the embankment, but +when the sinking woman saw me coming toward her, she began to beat the +sand furiously with her hands, as if she were trying to prevent my +approach. I could not have saved her. I had made but fifty steps +toward her when I too began to sink. Recognizing the futility of +further effort on my part, I flung myself face down on the sand, that +my entire weight might not rest on my feet, and thus I managed to +propel my body slowly, painfully, toward the stable earth. + +[Illustration: "Thus I managed to propel my body slowly, painfully +toward the stable earth"] + +A seemingly endless time elapsed before I reached the foot of the +embankment, and all the while there was a sound in my ears as of waves +dashing against rocks, each wave crying hoarsely: "Curse you!" "Curse +you!" + +When at last, dripping with ice-cold perspiration and quivering with +horror, I reached the top of the dike, I could see only the red +velvet cap on the sands; and as I looked, a sudden gust of wind +sweeping up from the sea, seized it and bore it toward me. + +Overcome by terror I turned and fled like a madman down the road. All +day long I continued my flight over pathless wastes; through withered +copses, which had been destroyed by frequent inundations; across +marshes filled with croaking frogs, and nesting storm-petrels; the +lurking place of weasels and others, and from every corner I heard +voices calling after me: "Murder!" "Murder!" The frogs croaked it from +the water, the birds piped it from the air. The withered trees moaned +it, and stretched their branches threateningly toward me; and the +briars trailing along the ground caught at my feet and cried: "Stop, +stop! let me bind you, murderer!" + +All things animate and inanimate joined in accusing me; and at last a +wall rose before me to hinder further flight. + +It was only a broken dike; but to me it seemed a prison. Foot-sore and +weary, I lay down amid the stones fallen from the wall. They were +covered with thick moss, and it was a relief to stretch my tired limbs +among them. + +I began to collect my scattered senses, to think calmly over what had +happened, and after awhile I began to excuse myself to the frogs and +the petrels, the moles and the sparse-branched withered trees that +stood around me staring at me as if they would say: + +"Come, murderer, decide which of us will best suit you." + +I defended myself: "I am not a murderer; I am not going to hang +myself. I did not lay a finger on the woman--it was she who thrust me +over the dike into a pool where I nearly drowned. She was foolish +enough to go where certain death awaited her--she alone is to blame!" + +"But, why did you throw her cap on the sands?" questioned the frogs, +the storm-birds, and the moles. "Had not I a right to do it? Hadn't I +a right to prevent her from wearing the cap which disgraced her and +me? Had not she brought dishonor on me once before? Was I to permit it +a second time? By throwing the cap away I was only defending my honor +and her virtue. I did not kill her--she alone is to blame for her +death!" + +"Ha, ha, ha!" sneered every animate creature. "Ha, ha, ha!" scoffed +the breeze sweeping over the moor. No one--nothing in the wide world +took sides with me. The elements were against me; every human being on +the globe--large, small, white, black, olive-hued--all were against +me. Cities, towns, villages; houses palaces, huts--all were my +enemies; I must flee from every human habitation. + +And yet, I am not guilty. All the world will say that I am. My wife +will be missed; she was seen going away in my company; her cap will be +found beside the dike. It will be said that I murdered her, and thrust +her body into the quicksands. + +I am not my wife's murderer. Did no one see her thrust me over the +dike? Will no one testify for me? + +A fluttering wing brushed my cheek: + +"Ah, my white dove! Are you there? You will speak for me. You will +tell all the world that I am innocent--that I did not murder my wife?" + +Filled with hope and joy, I turned my eyes toward my shoulder. The +white dove was not perched there, but a coal black raven, and he +croaked: + +"Thou didst it!" + +"At last," exclaimed the mayor as he shook the ink from the pen with +which he had authenticated the protocol. "At last we have a confession +that cannot be rendered invalid by a pharasaical _referrata mentalis_! +At last the executioner will get something to do! _Uxoricidium +aequale_: quartering, _praecedente_: the right hand to be severed from +the wrist." + +"I don't agree with your honor," interposed the prince. "There is a +law that was promulgated by _Sanctus Ladislaus rex_--he was a +Hungarian king, to be sure, but he is a saint for all that; and +because he was canonized his law is held sacred by all christendom; it +reads something like this: 'If a man finds his wife guilty of +infidelity, and takes her life, he is answerable to God alone for the +deed--'" + +"Of course!" angrily exclaimed the chair, "I'll warrant the knave +never dreamed that _Sanctus Ladislaus rex_ would drag him by the hair +of his head out of limbo!--Let it be added to the rest of the miracles +performed by Saint Ladislas!" + + + + +PART XI. + +IN SATAN'S REALM. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE SATYRS. + + +Not until the shadows of night had settled around me did I learn into +what an accursed region I had strayed. It was the notorious +"_kempenei_"--the rendezvous of witches and all evil spirits. + +When it became quite dark, the jack-o'-lanterns began to flit over the +moor--as if the witches were dancing a minuet; and suddenly I heard a +tumult of shrieks and yells, and looking upward I beheld the most +repulsive lot of females it has ever been the lot of man to see. + +They had hairy chins; and huge warts on their noses. They came rushing +through the air, seated on the shoulders of pallid-faced male forms. +Each hag hung her mount by the bridle around his neck to a limb of one +of the dead trees, and clapped her heels three times together before +she descended to the ground. Then the witches held a council, and each +one detailed the evil she had perpetrated the past twenty-four hours. +I heard one say boastfully: + +"I sent an angry woman running after her cap, which her husband had +thrown on the quicksands, and I let her sink to her death. The man +escaped--" + +Here her sister-witches fell on her and beat her with switches, +because she had allowed a man to escape from her. + +"Let me alone! Let me alone!" she shrieked. "I'll find him yet--he +won't get away from me a second time!" + +Terror seized me anew. I shuddered, and pressed as closely as possible +into my mossy bed. + +Then the hags began to arrange their plans for the next day. They +would send the "Bocksritter" to attack a caravan that was coming to +Antwerp. + +I had heard a good deal about the Bocksritter, a mounted band of +ferocious robbers, who looked like satyrs, and were in league with +Satan. They were even more to be dreaded than the Haidemaken. When the +satyrs committed an extensive robbery, they took good care not to let +a single one of their victims escape alive--not even the infant in its +cradle. They left no one to witness against them; and, as they fled at +once to another country, it was impossible to learn anything about +them. Where they committed their depredations and the officers of the +law failed to find trace of them, it was concluded, and naturally, +that the Bocksritter were a myth, and the story of their depredations +an idle fable. + +When the witches had decided their plans for the next day, the most +hideous of the hideous crew began to peer about her, and sniff the +air. + +"I smell something!" she exclaimed; "something that doesn't belong +here." + +"It smells like a human being," said a second, also sniffing around +her. + +"Ha, if only it were the fellow who escaped me this morning!" with a +snort exclaimed a third. "It wouldn't take me long to prepare him for +a bridle"--she glanced as she concluded toward the pallid creatures +hanging on the trees. + +I pressed still further into the moss and ferns; but the raven on my +shoulder began to flutter his wings, as if to attract the witches' +attention. + +"Some one is hiding over yonder!" they cried as with one voice. "Come +on, sisters, let's tickle him!" + +I heard them approach my hiding place, and in my despair I cried out: + +"If God be with me, who can be against me!" + +Hardly had the words left my lips when I received a blow on the ear +from the raven's wing that made it tingle, but the witches had +scattered in all directions, uttering frightful yells. When I lifted +my head to look after them, the wind sweeping over the moor was +driving before it the glimmering jack-o'-lanterns, which looked like a +fleeing troop of torch-bearing soldiers. + +Just then the moon rose above the horizon. It was in the last quarter, +by which I knew it must be an hour after midnight. + +I rose quickly, and prepared to set about performing the good deed I +had determined on; I would hasten to meet the caravan travelling to +Antwerp, and tell the leaders of the danger which threatened them from +the Bocksritter. + +I cast from me every fear that prompted me to avoid my +fellow-creatures, and rejoiced that it was in my power to serve them a +good turn. + +Only after I had proceeded a considerable distance on my errand of +mercy did it occur to me that I was unarmed, that I had nothing to +defend myself from the wolves which infest that region, but a knife +which I carried in a sheath at my side. + +On my way, I came upon a slender yew tree--a straight beautiful stem, +and hard as iron. I cut it down with my knife, and soon had a cudgel +that would serve me well in an emergency. I could brain any wolf that +might take a fancy to satisfy his appetite with my carcass. + +I found my own hunger growing wolfish toward dawn, and when I came to +the highway I looked about for an inn. I saw smoke rising from a +chimney not far distant, and made my way toward the house, which +proved to be one of entertainment for man and beast. + +The inn-keeper, from whom I ordered some bread and cheese, was busy +preparing in a large kettle a savory stew of meat and cabbage. I asked +him to give me a dish of it, but he said he could not let me have any, +as it was for a crowd of people who were coming with a large caravan +that morning. + +It was true then! I had really seen and heard the witches on the moor. +It was not a dream. + +I had not long to wait. A tinkling of bells announced the approach of +the caravan while I was eating my breakfast. + +There were vans and vehicles of all sorts, and all manner of traders; +lace merchants, carpet dealers, weavers, goldsmiths, on their way to +the fair at Antwerp. They had an escort of soldiers, with red and +yellow jackets, and armed with muskets and halberds; also several +dragoons with buff waistcoats. + +Even the traders were armed with pistols and carbines. All were in +high good humor when they entered the inn. The leader of the caravan, +a pot-bellied thread dealer, ordered everything that was to be had +from kitchen and cellar, and produced from his knapsack a large ham +which he shared with some of his companions. Toward the close of the +meal, he noticed me, and kindly offered me the gnawed ham-bone. + +"Thank you," said I. "In return for this bare bone I will do you a +kindness: Take my advice, and don't go any further today; or, if you +cannot delay until tomorrow, send a strongly armed troop in advance of +your caravan, and let one guard it in the rear, for you are in danger +of an attack from the Bocksritter, who will leave your bones as bare +as you have left this one you offer me!" + +Then I repeated to the entire company what I had heard the witches +say. But, a curse rested on me! No one believed me; they laughed at +me, ridiculed my "witch-story," said I had dreamed it; and the +inn-keeper threatened to cast me out of his house for trying to bring +disrepute on it. + +He averred that robbers were unknown in that neighborhood--there were +no such disreputable characters anywhere but in Brabant and Spain, +where they lurked in subterranean caverns like the marmots. Moreover, +who was afraid of robbers? Not he! + +The caravan's valiant escort were delighted with the prospect of a +skirmish with the notorious Bocksritter--let them begin their attack! +Everyone of the rascals would soon find himself spitted on an honest +bayonet! There was so much boasting about the escort's prowess that at +last I concluded the safest way for me to get to Antwerp would be to +join the caravan; which I did. + +All went well with us until late in the afternoon, when, as we were +passing through a pine forest, the robbers suddenly fell upon us. + +They appeared so suddenly that one might almost believe they sprang +from the earth. They were masked; their clothing was of black buffalo +skin, laced with crimson cord. A black cock's feather adorned every +hat. + +The first salvo from their muskets laid low at least half of our +company; then the villains fell on us with their swords and began a +frightful butchery. The leader of the caravan tumbled from his steed +before he received an injury, and had I not been in such haste to save +my skin, I should have stopped to say to him: + +"Why don't you laugh at me now, Mynheer Potbelly?" + +But it was no time for jesting. I ran swiftly toward the road, on the +further side of which was a dense growth of young firs, and beyond +them a stretch of undulating moorland, where, I imagined, I might +effect my escape. The long yew staff I carried served me well; by its +aid I could jump from hillock to hillock, and thus make swifter +progress than had I been on horseback. + +"Let him run!" cried the robber captain, who was distinguished from +the rest by the crimson ostrich plume on his hat. "Let him go; we will +after him when we have finished here. He won't go very far." + +I soon found he was right. I had not gone more than a hundred paces, +when I came to a mound from which there was neither retreat, nor +advance. It was made up of pebbles, sand and the gravelly soil of the +highway, from which a narrow path led to the mound. On all sides were +deep ditches filled with stagnant water, rank vines and noxious weeds; +so that no one could cross them without risk to life or limb. + +I was caught! + +Out on the highway, my companions of the caravan were being +exterminated to a man. None were allowed to escape. + +When the work of carnage was completed there, the butchers turned +their attention to me. + +I was alone, and defenseless on my islet. The demons came toward me, +laughing brutally, and in my despair I laughed too. + +I said to myself: "I too will have some fun before I die!" + +I loosed the leather belt from my waist, and made a sling of it. +Pebbles lay at my feet in plenty for my David's battle with Goliath. + +The robbers soon found they had to do with a skilled bombardier; my +shots struck them and their horses with a force and regularity that +began to tell on their ranks. Many were thrown from their saddles with +skulls and ribs crushed. + +The fun was not all on their side. Finding at last that I was not to +be taken alive, they concluded to use me as a target for their +muskets. One of them dismounted, lifted the musket from his shoulder, +thrust the bayonet into the ground, and rested the gun on it. After he +had arranged the priming in the pan, he called to me: + +"Surrender, fellow, or I'll shoot you!" + +"Try it," I called back, whirling the sling around my head. "Afterward +I'll have a shot at you." + +"Do you throw first," he called again. + +"No, thank you--you are the challenger; do you shoot first." + +He fired, and missed me. + +Then I hurled my stone; it struck him on the jaw, and broke off his +teeth. + +Then a second, and a third, had a try at me without effect, but +everyone of my shots inflicted serious injury. + +I was not an expert gunner for nothing; I knew that when one is the +target for a gunshot, one has but to watch closely when the match is +applied to the priming; if two flashes are seen, then the aim will be +faulty, the ball will fly wide of the mark, and it will not be +necessary to dodge. If but one flash is seen, then it will be well to +step to one side. + +I had the advantage of the robbers; for, while they were preparing +their muskets to fire, I could hurl five or six stones, and not one of +them missed its mark. I hoped that one of the bullets whistling past +my ears might hit the raven on my shoulders; but he was too shrewd a +bird; he rose in the air, and I could hear the fluttering of his wings +above my head. + +At last the robbers were obliged to acknowledge that I had the better +of them. Only one of them at a time could approach my islet over the +narrow path; or wade up to his horse's neck through the weed-entangled +morass, and that one would fall an easy prey to my sling. + +"Stop!" now cried the wearer of the crimson plume. "This valiant +fellow's life must be spared. He will be a valuable addition to our +band. Let no one molest him--I will talk with him myself," saying +which, he got off his horse, and came toward me unarmed. "Have no +fear," he called to me. "You are a brave lad, and just the sort we +need. We kill only cowards. If you will join us you shall not rue it." + +What could I do? I was a fugitive, excluded from all honest and +respectable society. I knew not where to turn. If I refused to join +the robbers, I should have to flee from country to country; I might as +well fly in company with others. The desire for revenge also prompted +me to accept the leader's offer. I would punish the people who had +ridiculed me, and condemned me because of a dream. + +"Who are you?" I asked. "Are you Satan? I will not enter into a league +with him." + +"No, I am not Satan; I am the leader of the Bocksritter. If you will +join us, you shall be corporal, and in time you may become the +leader." + +"Thank you," said I, "but I think I should prefer to remain simply a +private. I have heard that the man who leagues himself with the +'satyrs,' binds his body to pain and death; and that he who becomes +their leader must bond his soul to the devil--and that I will never +do." + +"Very well," he growled in response; "I regret to hear so brave a lad +decide thus. Then bind yourself only to pain and death." + +Our compact was sealed, and I was given the horse and outfit of one of +the robbers I had killed in defending myself, and when the black mask +had been adjusted over my face, I felt that I had ceased to belong to +this world. I had no name--was nobody. I was a satyr, a foe to +society. Whatever I might do thenceforth, whatever crime I might +commit, no one would hear of it. The mask did not speak! The +Bocksritter committed their horrible deeds of pillage and murder in +the Netherlands; in Wurtemberg; along the Rhine; in Alsace and +Lorraine. In which of them, or in how many, I took part--who can say? +The mask does not speak! + +Where we roved, what we did, who can say? Not I. Whether the satyrs +robbed churches, whether they destroyed caravans, burned cities, +desecrated convents and routed their inmates, plundered mines, +devastated estates--who can say? + +Whether I assisted at all the crimes they committed, or at only +one--or whether I took part in none--who can say? + +Was I the satyr that flung back into his burning house the usurious +Jew who had escaped from it? or was I the one that rescued a babe from +the flames and bore it on his saddle to the mother's arms? + +Was I the satyr who placed the mine under the convent and exploded it? +or was I the one who warned the nuns in time for them to escape--who +can say? The mask does not speak. + +"Well," observed the prince, "if you don't know; and the mask won't +tell, then this entire chapter of your confession must be eliminated +from the index." + +Then he added further, in order to propitiate the chair: "Why, don't +you see, that the prisoner did not become a satyr of his own free +will? That he was forced to join the band under pain of death? If, +while he was with the robbers, he committed good deeds, or evil, +who--as he says himself--can say?" + +"Aye, who indeed?" satirically responded the chair. "The mystery of +the whole affair is so clear that no one will be able to say whether +this valiant and pious Christian ought to be hanged, or this +conscienceless reprobate ought to be canonized!" + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +WITCH-SABBATH. + + +The satyrs did not ask my name when I joined their band; but bestowed +one on me with the mask. They did not select their names from the +calendar, but chose the appellations of distinguished satanic +personages--as, for instance, there was a Belial; a Semiazaz; a +Lucifer; Mephistopholes; Belzebub; Azazel; Samiel; Dromo; Asmodens, +Dopziher, Flibbertigibbet, and so on. + +The leader was Astaroth; me they called Belphegor, and my +"blood-comrade" Behoric. + +The way a blood-comradeship was formed was this: The two men slashed +their right arms, and each drank of the blood gushing from the arm of +the other. This was an alliance of the first degree. A second +comradeship was formed by two men pricking their names into each +other's arms. Both ceremonies were performed only on witch-sabbath. + +Great privileges were associated with blood-comradeship. The comrades +shared everything; they belonged to each other. Mine is thine, and +thine mine. + +If one of them said: I want this, or that; the other had to give it to +him. + +Whatever one commanded the other had to obey; and if one comrade +wanted to exchange bodies with the other, the latter was obliged to +consent and-- + +"But that is impossible," here interrupted the prince. + +"No it isn't," spoke up the chair with like decision, "Johann Magus +proves conclusively that such exchanges have been known to take +place." + +"Well, if it is possible," returned his highness, "I should like, if +your honor and I were 'blood-comrades,' to see how we would manage +such an exchange! There's room enough in my hide for three like you; +but how I could get into yours puzzles me!" + +The prisoner proceeded to explain how it might be accomplished: + +The entire body undergoes a change; the larger becomes smaller, and +_vice versa_; so that an exchange is easily effected. It needs only +the consent of both parties. All sorts of complications may arise from +such an exchange, though. Suppose I were a bridegroom, and my +blood-comrade should suggest an exchange of bodies; or, if I were on +my way to the gallows, and I should ask to exchange? + +One day the leader of the band said to me: + +"Belphegor, you must marry. You will not be a genuine satyr until you +are mated with a female member of our band." + +"But where are the ladies? I have not yet seen any of them," I asked. + +"I have a bride ready for you, my youngest sister Lilith. You shall +see her very soon." + +I knew that a Lilith had tempted Father Adam to be untrue to Mother +Eve; if she and the captain's sister were one and the same, then she +must be considerably older than I. So I said: + +"Does she wear a mask?" + +"Certainly." + +"Then I'll marry her!" + +And so it was settled that I should become the leader's +brother-in-law. + +In a subterranean cavern in the Black Forest our wedding was +celebrated. The entire company of satyrs were assembled to witness the +ceremony, and when the numerous torches were lighted, the cavern +looked like an immensely large church with this difference: everything +was inverted. The images of the saints stood on their heads; even the +crucifix in the chancel was upside down. The organ's base was against +the ceiling; the winged cherubs hovered overhead feet upward; the +bells swung with the clappers standing upright, and the choir chanted +the psalm backward. The priest who performed the ceremony had the most +peculiar legs; one was at least a foot shorter than the other; and +when an acolyte removed the mitre, the father's head came off with it. +Asafoetida instead of incense was burned in the censer. + +My bride, whom I saw now for the first time, was robed in garments far +more costly and magnificent than any I had ever seen on my regal wife, +Sumro Begum. The fine clothes and gew-gaws concealed the contours of +her form, and a heavy gold-embroidered veil completely hid her face. +The priest made us repeat the marriage service backward; and when he +bade us inscribe our names in the register I took good care to look +closely at my wife's hands. They were encased in gloves, but I could +see that the finger nails were long and sharp--which did not augur +favorably for me should there arise any domestic differences between +us. + +Her voice was youthful enough; she did not pronounce P like M, from +which I concluded that she still had teeth. + +We left the church to the music of the organ. I led my bride on my arm +to the wagon waiting for us at the entrance to the cavern. It was a +large, heavy vehicle, roomy enough for a dozen persons, and harnessed +to it were six stag-beetles. + +"How in the devil's name are these beetles going to drag such a heavy +vehicle?" I cried angrily. "Six horses couldn't move it." + +"No, of course they couldn't!" assented my wife. "The axles need +greasing. Here, rub some of this ointment on them." + +I obeyed, and greased the axles with the contents of an agate box +Lilith held in her hand. The entire wedding company now sprang on the +wagon, leaving only the driver's seat for me and my bride. Lilith took +the reins; the six beetles spread their wings, and off we went--the +heavy wagon with its heavier load flying as swiftly and lightly +through the air as thistle-down before a gale. + +I thought it an excellent chance to get a sight of my bride's face +while both her hands were occupied with the reins, and quickly flung +back her veil. + +Horror! the blood froze in my veins. They were the repulsive features +of the witch I had heard boast on the _kempenei_, that she would catch +me yet, and prepare me for the bridle. + +Beyond a doubt she was Father Adam's temptress, for there were +wrinkles enough on her hideous face to represent the many centuries +which had passed since her little affair with the first man; while, +for the development of such a moustache from the delicate peach-down, +which makes a woman's lips so kissable, would require many a cycle of +time! + +"I will jump from the wagon!" I cried in terror. + +"Better put your arms around me to keep from falling out!" laughed my +terrible bride, and then I noticed for the first time that we were at +least five hundred feet above the earth. + +To force me to adopt her suggestion, Lilith guided the beetles toward +the spire of the Cologne Cathedral, against which we struck with such +violence that to save myself from tumbling from my seat I had to fling +my arm around Lilith's waist, at which the entire company laughed +uproariously. + +At last, to my great relief, we descended to the earth, and alighted +in a lonely forest, at another of the witches' meeting places, where +we were greeted by a weird company that assembled from all quarters of +the globe. They came through the air, riding on brooms, on chairs, on +benches-- + +"I don't believe a single word of the ridiculous story!" here +emphatically exclaimed the prince. + +"I do," with equal emphasis affirmed the chair. "Johannes de Kembach +has described witches' journeys in almost the same language; and the +learned Majolus testifies to the flying wagon, which a servant in +mistake greased with witch ointment instead of axle grease. Moreover, +a similar tale is related by Torquemada, in his Hexameron--a +recognized authority on such matters." + +The prisoner continued his confession: + +The witches, as I said, came through the air accompanied by their +gallants; the demons rose, with their attendants, from the ground. +Among the latter were several of the celebrities from whom the satyrs +had borrowed the name they bore. + +Semiazaz is the jester of the demon-crew, also the musician; and when +he plays, all the rest have to dance. His nose is a clarionet; he +plays it with his ears instead of his fingers with which he thrums on +the skeleton ribs of a cow, as on a harp; and he beats the drum with +his tail. + +Behoric, my blood-comrade's god-father, is a huge fellow with an +elephant's trunk, with which he signs his name. That is why N. P. +(_nasu propria_) instead of M. P. (_manu propria_) is always appended +to this demon's signature. Behoric is also an elegant cavalier. He +wears his tail jauntily over one shoulder, and fans himself, when he +gets too warm, with the brush at the tip. + +All of the demons, with a single exception, had wings like a bat. My +namesake alone differed in this respect from his fellows. His wings +were formed from the quills which have been used on earth to sign and +write documents worthy of the infernal regions. + +There was the quill used by Pilate to sign the accusation against +Jesus Christ, and the release of Barabbas; the quill with which +Aretino indited his sonnets; the quill used by Queen Elizabeth to sign +Mary Stuart's death sentence; the quill with which Catharine de Medici +ordered the horrors of St. Bartholomew's night; the quill with which +Pope Leo X. wrote indulgences for money; the quill with which Pope +Innocent wrote the words: "_Sint ut sunt aut non sint_;" the quill +with which a distinguished Archbishop wrote his ambiguous answer: +"_Reginam occidere nolite timere bonum est_;" the quill that wrote at +Shylock's order the contract for a pound of human flesh; the quill +used by the mortal foe of the Foscari to write in his book "_La +Pagata_;" the quill with which King Philip signed the death warrant of +his son; the quill with which Tetzel scrawled his pamphlet attacking +Luther--and all the rest of the quills which have been used for such +like infamous deeds, were to be found in Belphegor's wings. + +They were gigantic wings, too, much longer than those of roc; and +whenever Behoric needed a pen he would pluck from them the quill which +best suited the document he wanted to sign. After all the demons and +witches were assembled they began to plan evil deeds; and my bride +being the heroine of the hour, she had the right to offer the first +suggestion: + +"There is an inn near the '_kempenei_,'" she began, "whose owner is in +league with the commandant of Bilsen to counterfeit money, and waylay +travellers. The counterfeit money is started into circulation by the +inn-keeper, who gives it to the caravans which stop at his house for +refreshment, in exchange for the genuine money they leave with him. +This publican has become repentant, and wants to atone for his +misdeeds. He confessed his criminal practices in a letter to the +governor, and told where the commandant fabricated the false coin. +This letter I managed to have conveyed to the commandant instead of to +the governor, and tonight, the former with his troops is going to pay +a visit to the inn. What say you, friends: how many souls shall we +send to hell?" + +"All of them! All of them!" yelled the witches. "We will have some fun +this night! Ho, Lucifer! We await you!" + +A terrific noise and rumbling was heard, and the ground opened, as +when an earthquake cleaves the crust of the globe. From the abyss rose +his infernal majesty, the king of evil, before whom the entire company +knelt--or rather squatted on their heels-- + +"What was he like?" queried the prince. + +I cannot answer that question, your highness--and for a very good +reason, as will be learned further on. When Lucifer appeared all the +witches disrobed-- + +"Not to the buff?" again interrupted the prince. + +Yes, your highness, and further. They took off their skins, too; and +when their hideous, wrinkled, warty hides were stripped off, they +were the most beautiful and fascinating fairies. + +My Lilith was more transcendently lovely than any image of a goddess I +ever saw--she was perfect beauty idealized! Your highness will +understand now why I had no eyes for the prince of darkness. I had +lost command of my head--for one kiss from Lilith's ravishing lips I +would have bonded my soul to the devil. + +Behoric, the real demon, for whom my blood-comrade was called, now +took a black book from his knapsack, and bade his namesake step +forward to be stigmatized. This was accomplished as follows: Behoric +plucked a quill from Belphegor's wings, and with the nib made tiny +punctures in my comrade's arm, thus forming letters. After making a +puncture in the flesh he would make a dot with the bloody quill-point +on a page in the black book. When his task was finished, the name +"Behoric" gleamed in red letters on my comrade's arm; and in letters +of flame on the page in the black book. + +The demon then presented to his namesake a thaler, as christening +gift; after which, he turned to me, and said I should also receive a +thaler if I would allow him to register my name among those of the +chosen ones of hell. + +Not for a dozen thalers would I have consented; but, for one kiss from +my fascinating Lilith, I would have done anything asked of me. + +I extended my arm for the stigma; but my blood-comrade stepped up to +me and said: + +"Comrade, do you see this thaler which I got in exchange for my soul? +I want you to give me your bride for it." + +As I have told you, a blood-comrade dare not refuse the request made +by his fellow. I pocketed the thaler, placed Lilith's beautiful hand +in Behoric's palm, and saw them move away to join the dancers. + +Behoric and Belphegor now seized my collar, and importuned me to have +my name recorded in the black book; but, with the loss of my bride, +all desire to join the demon ranks vanished. + +In vain I made all sorts of excuses; they would not release me. At +last, I cried with simulated anger: "To the devil with you! Not a +single member of my family ever was known to sign a contract when +sober! I will eat and drink, then I'll talk business with you!" + +Hardly had the last word crossed my lips, when before me stood a table +loaded with delicious viands, and rare wines. The wedding guests +seated themselves around the table, and proceeded to enjoy the repast, +but to my extreme disappointment both wines and food were without +taste. There was no substance to the former, no savor to the latter. + +I began to quarrel with the demons: + +"I can't eat this food," I exclaimed irritably. "I can't eat meat +without salt." + +"Salt?" repeated one of them. "Where should we get salt? There is no +ocean in hell." + +"But,"--I persisted--"I must have some salt--and if you have to fetch +me Lot's wife--" + +"Don't scold so, little man," jestingly interrupted Lilith, pulling my +mustache. "Here--taste what is on my lips." + +"I don't want honey--I want salt," I yelled, pushing her away. +"_Donner und Blitz!_ Give me salt, or I'll skin Lucifer!" + +Now, a curse has the same effect on a demon that a prayer has on an +angel. + +The younger devils rushed with all speed possible to Lucifer's palace +to fetch the only salt-cellar in the infernal regions; it is for the +sole use of the king of evil. This salt-cellar is a large mussel-shell +and looks like a christening bowl; it is filled with salt collected +from the tears shed by penitent sinners who delayed their repentance +until it was too late. + +Two active little imps dragged the salt-cellar to my side. + +"Here's salt at last--God be praised!" I exclaimed in a loud voice. + +The next instant the table with its viands disappeared amid an +unearthly din, and rumbling as of thunder. The demons sank cursing +into the earth; the witches flew yelling into the air, and I fell +backward to the ground unconscious. + +When I came to my senses, I was lying in a peat bog one hundred and +twenty miles from the Black Forest, in which I had celebrated my +marriage the night before with the beautiful Lilith. + +"Either you are a madman, or you dreamed all this nonsense," in a +stern tone observed the prince, at the conclusion of Hugo's recital. +"I don't believe a single word of it." + +"Well," commented the chair with less emphasis; "one thing is clear: +Among the many lies the rascal has entertained us with for weeks, this +last tale is the only one to bear a semblance to the truth. Similar +occurrences are related by Majolus, and Ghirlandinus; also by the +world-renowned Boccaccio, whose statements no one would think of +doubting. I say that, for once, the accused has adhered strictly to +the truth." + +"Very good," decisively responded the prince. "Then, as he did not +sign the compact with Satan, he cannot be charged with _pactum +diabolicum implicitum_. Consequently, this indictment may also be +expunged from the record." + + + + +PART XII. + +THE BREAD OF SHAME. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE MAGIC THALER. + + +The most convincing proof that everything occurred as I related it, +said the prisoner, continuing his confession the next day, was the +thaler I found in my pocket, when I came to my senses in the peat bog +near the "_kempenei_"--the thaler my blood-comrade gave me in exchange +for Lilith. I remembered what I had heard the witches say about the +commandant's visit to the inn-keeper and though I had suffered +terribly because I had tried once to perform a good deed at his house, +I decided to warn him of the danger which threatened him that night. + +It was very late in the evening when I drew near the inn; but light +still gleamed from the windows, and sounds of merriment came from the +open door. + +The inn-keeper, who was celebrating his marriage with his fifth wife, +recognized me at once. He was not in the least rejoiced to see me +again; quite the contrary: + +"See!" he called to his friends inside the house, "this is the fellow +I told you about--the one who predicted what would happen to the +Antwerp caravan. Every word he said came true! He shall not come into +my house again. I dare say," he added, speaking to me from the +door-way, "I dare say you have another witch-story to tell? Don't you +dare to utter one word of your evil prophecies, you bird of evil +omen!" + +The entire company seized cudgels and chairs and threatened to brain +me if I opened my lips. + +"Just keep your temper, good people," I returned coolly, "I don't +intend to tell you what would be of great benefit to you--your +treatment of me is so unfriendly, I shall not say one word--I want +nothing from you but some bread and cheese, and a mug of beer: and a +bundle of straw in a corner where I may pass the night." + +"Have you money to pay for all this?" demanded the inn-keeper. + +"Certainly I have;" and I handed him my thaler. + +"Ho-ho, fellow, this is a counterfeit," he sneered, tossing the coin +to the ceiling and letting it fall on the stone table. + +The clear ringing sound was unmistakable--the thaler was genuine. +Angered by the insolence of the inn-keeper, I said in a tone, the +meaning of which he could not mistake: + +"Look here, beer-seller; I want you to understand that _I_ am not a +circulator of counterfeit money!" + +"What!" he roared in a fury; "do you dare to insinuate that _I_ +circulate counterfeit money? For your impudence I shall keep this +thaler, and have it tested in the city tomorrow; and that you may not +run away in the meantime, I shall pen you in my hen-coop." + +The entire company helped him to thrust me into the coop, which was so +small I could neither stand upright nor lie down in it. + +And there I crouched, hungry and thirsty as I had come from the +witch-wedding. + +Suddenly the early morning quiet was broken by a fanfare in front of +the inn. I heard horses' hoofs stamping the earth; loud shouts and +curses; and the clank of weapons--the commandant of Bilsen had arrived +with his troops. + +In a trice the doors were broken open; the startled wedding guests +could neither escape nor defend themselves. The soldiers cut down all +that came in their way: men, women, old and young. From my hen-coop I +witnessed the slaughter, which I cannot describe, for I grow faint +with horror if I but think of it. + +Not even a dog was left alive about the inn. When the work of butchery +was completed one of the soldiers took it into his head to peep into +the hen-coop. He saw me, broke the lock with his hatchet, and dragged +me out by the hair. + +"Don't kill me, comrade," I begged, "I am only a poor soldier like +yourself. The inn people took all my money, and penned me in the +coop--you can see for yourself that I am not one of them, but a +foot-sore wanderer." + +"Did they take all your money?" asked the trooper. + +"I had only a thaler; the inn-keeper said it was counterfeit, and kept +it." + +"Let's see if you're telling the truth," said the fellow, beginning to +search about my clothes. + +"Ha! What's this?" he exclaimed suddenly, holding up the thaler he had +found in one of my pockets. "I thought you were lying, you rascal," he +added, giving me a blow with his fist, and thrusting my thaler into +his pocket. + +At that moment another trooper approached, and said something to the +first, about not making 'way with me--that the French recruiting +officers would give ten thalers for such a sturdy chap. Then he too +inquired if I had any money. + +I swore I had none; but he was as incredulous as his comrade, and also +searched my pockets. In one of them he found the thaler which had +returned to my possession; and he too gave me a blow for telling him a +lie. + +Then came a third trooper with the same inquiry: "Have you money?" + +I had not yet got used to having the thaler return to me, so I said: + +"No, my friend, I haven't another penny"--and he didn't find anything +in my pockets; but when, at his command, I drew off my boots, the +thaler fell out of one of them. + +From this trooper also I received a vigorous blow for lying. When the +fourth, fifth, and sixth troopers followed with the same demand for +money, I replied: + +"Yes, friend, I think I have a thaler somewhere about my clothes--just +search me and maybe you'll find it." + +And every one of them found the thaler--once it was found tucked under +the collar of my coat; another time in the lining; a third time in my +neck-ruff. + +My fun came afterward, when the troopers discovered they were minus +the thaler they had taken from me. They accused one another of +stealing, which led to a scuffle and blows. + +I was sold for ten thalers to the Frenchmen, who, when they stripped +me to put me into uniform, also searched my clothes. They found +nothing; but when they were shearing my hair the thaler suddenly +dropped to the floor. + +The sergeant pounced on it, exclaiming: + +"A thaler profit, comrades!--we'll have a drink at once!" + +Beer was ordered from the inn, in which they were quartered; and while +they were drinking, the sergeant turned to me and said: + +"Are you thirsty lad? You are? Very well, then, go into the yard, lift +your face to the clouds, and open your mouth wide--it's raining +heavily! When you have quenched your thirst from the clouds, stand +guard at the gate." + +I had to obey, and stand guard; but I did not quench my thirst with +rain water. + +After a while I heard loud voices in the bar-room. The inn-keeper's +wife was accusing the soldiers of stealing the thaler given to her by +the sergeant for the beer. She said it had been taken from the drawer, +while she was attending to her work in the kitchen. + +"Which of you fellows stole the thaler?" angrily demanded the +sergeant. + +No one answered; whereupon the sergeant proceeded to flog the men, one +after the other, with a bunch of hazel-switches. But the thaler was +not found. + +Then the five soldiers seized the sergeant, and paid back what he had +loaned them; as each had received six blows, the number delivered to +him in payment amounted to thirty. + +"Fine discipline!" I said to myself. "Fine discipline, where the +sergeant flogs his men, and the men flog the sergeant in turn! It's a +fine service I've got into, I must say." + +I thrust my hands into the pockets of my wide trunk-hose, and what do +you suppose I found in one of them? The dangerous thaler! It had not +occurred to the Frenchmen to search me! + +"I don't see how such a thing could happen," in a puzzled tone, +observed the prince. + +"There is no mystery about it," returned the chair. "The coin was a +'breeding-thaler'--as it is called. A breeding-thaler will return to +the pocket of its owner, no matter how often he may spend it. If, +however, he bestows it as a gift on any one, it will not return to +him; but to the person to whom he has given it." + +"Ah, had I only known that sooner!" in a tone of deep regret, murmured +the delinquent. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE HUSBAND OF THE WIFE OF ANOTHER MAN. + + +The breeding-thaler was not of much use to me, for I was in a region +where there was nothing I cared to purchase. + +I was with the French camp in front of the city of Lille, where I had +been assigned to the artillery, because I had admitted that I knew +something about the management of cannon. + +It was a miserable existence: crouched day and night in the trenches; +or, on the lookout for the grenades, which were hurled into our camp +from the city we were besieging. + +But I could have endured all the hardships if I had had enough to eat. +The French general would not allow any vivandičres with spiritous +liquors to enter the battery; the gunners, he said, must remain sober; +and that they might not want to drink, they were given very little to +eat, as eating promotes thirst. If I sent a sapper with a jug to the +canteen for beer, he would invariably return with the empty jug, and +swear he had lost the thaler I had given him on the way--which was +true; for, no matter how often I tried it, the coin would be back in +my pocket before the messenger had been gone five minutes. The +consequence was I was in a continual state of hunger and thirst. + +The officers, on the contrary, had plenty to eat and drink. They were +always feasting and making merry in their tents. + +My captain had in camp with him a companion of the gentler sex, who +was not his wife, nor was she his sister, daughter, or mother--nor yet +his grand-mother. This lady would sometimes accompany him on his tours +of inspection, riding by his side, in a long silk habit, with a plumed +cap on her head. She was a beautiful creature. + +One day the general, who had got tired seeing so many women about, +gave orders that every one not having a legal husband among his troops +should leave the camp within twenty-four hours. That day my captain +came to me, and after making believe he was come on business about the +guns, said: "By the way, gunner, you look to me like a chap who was +used to something better than loading cannon and sleeping on the +ground--" + +"And gnawing dry bread," I ventured to append. + +He laughed, and said again: + +"I've half a mind to appoint you my adjutant--how would that suit +you?" + +"I shouldn't object." + +"Will you do me a small favor in return?" + +"Whatever I can, sir." + +"I should want you to keep a well-supplied table, and invite me to +dine and sup. I, of course, will pay all expenses." + +"That doesn't sound like a very hard task, sir," I replied. + +"It isn't--only there's a condition goes with it. In order to +entertain properly an officer of my rank, there will have to be a lady +to do the honors of the table." + +"But, where can I get the lady, sir?" + +"I'll find one for you--the lady you have seen riding with me. She has +long possessed my deepest respect." + +I scratched my head back of the right ear: + +"If you respect the lady so much, sir, why don't you marry her?" + +"Stupid fellow!--because I already have a wife." + +"Look here, sir," I said after a moment's deliberation, "I have eaten +all sorts of ammunition bread during my experience as a soldier; I +have cheated and stolen; but I have never occupied a position so low +as the one you want me to accept." + +"But, my lad, consider the advantages: Plenty to eat, and drink, and +nothing to do--that is one alternative; the other: in the trenches +night and day, bread and water! I will give you half an hour to think +it over; if you refuse I shall offer the position to some one +else--some one who is not so squeamish as you." + +That was a long half hour! + +I thought over what I had to lose if I accepted the position: Honor? I +had very little left; but, if I had squandered it I had done so with +my sword and musket, idled it away in a hundred ways--though never in +the despicable manner suggested to me by my captain. + +But I had been persecuted and cursed for trying to do good--what use +to try again? Besides, I hadn't anything to lose: I might as well eat +and drink away the little self-respect and honor I still possessed. + +At the end of the half hour, the captain came for my decision. I said: + +"I accept your offer, sir--here's my hand on it!" + +I held out my hand, and so did he; but, before they came together, +each of us drew back--each prompted by the same thought: "This +fellow's hand is more soiled than mine--I cannot take it!" + +But, I married the donna that afternoon, bestowing on her one of my +numerous names; and after the chaplain of the regiment had performed +the ceremony, this thought involuntarily suggested itself to me: +"Hugo, my lad, you are not the only one cheated in this business." + +From that hour it went well with my body--and luckily one's stomach +does not possess a conscience! In addition to a well-filled larder and +cellar, I had a title--I was called "adjutant." + +I saw my bride only at table; how frequently the captain visited my +quarters I cannot say. When he was obliged to absent himself on duty +connected with the campaign, he would always try to surprise her by an +unexpected return. + +One day she was more than surprised when her lover was brought back to +camp minus his head; he had had the misfortune to get within range of +a cannon shot from the enemy's lines. + +My situation now became anything but agreeable. I ceased to be an +adjutant, but I was still the husband of my wife--a rôle I found it +exceedingly difficult to continue. The woman had been accustomed to +every luxury; but, as money does not fall from the sky, I found great +difficulty in providing her with the bare necessities of life. One +after another of the costly ornaments she had received from the +captain were disposed of to supply her numerous demands, until all +were gone. Then she began to quarrel with me and accused me with +trying to starve her. + +I bethought me of the magic coin I had carried in my pocket all this +time, merely as a souvenir of the demon-assembly in the Black Forest. +I said to it: "Now, thaler, show what you can do!" and gave it to the +woman to buy what was necessary. + +I did not know then that if a breeding-thaler were given away it would +not return; and when I placed it in the woman's hand I believed, of +course, I should find it again in a few minutes in my pocket. + +But I never saw the thaler again! + +When, at the expiration of several hours, it did not return to me, I +consoled myself with thinking it must be in the woman's pocket. But it +had not returned to her--she had given it to an ensign who had been an +admirer of hers for a long time. So, the magic thaler was gone for +good, and I had nothing but the woman I had married to please my +captain--and he was dead! + +What was to be done? Should I run away from my wife, and my +flag?--become a two-fold deserter? I pondered over this question for +three days; for three long days I endured the taunts of my wife, and +the ridicule of my comrades, and on the third I fled-- + +"I should have run away the first day!" emphatically exclaimed the +prince, giving the table a thump with his fist. + +The mayor's eye twinkled as he added: + +"Consequently, desertion may also be stricken from the register!" + +(_Quod dixi dixi._) + + + + +PART XIII. + +THE EXCHANGE OF BODIES. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE QUACK DOCTOR. + + +"Well, you godless reprobate," began the mayor, addressing the +prisoner, when the court was assembled the next day for a further +hearing of the remarkable case, "you have come to the last of your +crimes; you have illustrated how the seven mortal sins may be trebled, +and how the perpetrator may clear himself of the entire twenty-one, if +he possesses a fluent tongue. With your entertaining fables you have +understood how to extend the time of your trial five months and two +weeks, believing, no doubt, that the Frenchmen would in the meantime +seize the fortress and save you from the gallows. But that has not +come to pass. Only one more indictment remains on your list--Treason. +I don't believe you will be able to talk yourself out of that! But we +will now hear you make the attempt." + +The prisoner bowed and summoned to his aid the muse, by whose help he +had wrested from death one day after another, to assist him win yet +another twenty-four hours in God's beautiful world. + +As the honorable gentlemen of the court are aware, I entered into +service here, after I deserted from the French camp at Lille--and I +have tried to do my duty faithfully, as becomes a good soldier-- + +"I must say"--interrupted the prince with considerable stress--"you +were the best gunner in my artillery." + +After he had thanked his highness for the compliment, the prisoner +resumed: + +One day, while I was deeply absorbed in my technical studies, a quack +doctor was brought to my quarters. He had announced that he was my +messenger to the camp of the enemy, and that he had returned with some +important information for me. + +He was an imposter; I had not employed any one to perform such errands +for me. I ordered the fellow to be brought before me. He was of low, +but vigorous stature, with a crafty countenance, and cunning leer. He +had with him an entire apothecary's outfit: a chest filled with all +sorts of oils, extracts, unguents, and pills. + +The fellow laughed in my face and said in an impudent tone: + +"Well, comrade, don't you know me?". + +"No; I have never before seen your ugly phiz," I replied, a trifle +angrily. + +"Nor have I _seen_ yours; but I know you for all that--Belphegor." + +I was startled. "You are Behoric?" I exclaimed. I sent the orderly +from the room, then asked: + +"How did you manage to find me? You never saw me without a mask." + +"I will tell you: I have two magic rings; one I wear on the little +finger of my right hand; the other on the little finger of my left +hand, both with the setting turned inward. If I say to the rings: 'I +want to find my blood-comrade, Belphegor,' one of them turns around on +my finger and the setting shows me the way I must go. If I arrive at a +point where two roads meet, the other ring shows me which to take. +That is how I came here." + +The explanation did not altogether satisfy me--the fellow's face made +me doubt the truth of it; but I could not deny that I was his +blood-comrade. Besides, I entertained a sort of affection for him; we +had been good comrades, and had not drank each other's blood for +nothing. + +"Well," said I, after deliberating a moment, "what brings you +here?--here, where nothing is to be got but fiery bullets." + +"I came to ask you to exchange bodies." + +"Why do you wish to exchange?" + +"The leader has ordered it." + +"Do you still belong to the satyrs?" + +"Yes--and so do you. It is not a disease from which one can recover; +nor an office one may resign. It is not a garment one may cast aside; +nor a wife one may divorce. In a word, once a satyr, always a satyr." + +"I pledged only my body, not my soul," I interrupted. + +"And it isn't your soul I want, comrade; only your body. You may carry +your soul in my body, and go whithersoever it may please you to +wander." + +"But, what shall I do while in your body?" + +"You will do what I should do: sell theriac and arsenic; _lapis +nephriticus_, _nostra paracelsi_, apoponax, and salamander +ointment--for all of which you will receive good, hard coin from the +credulous fools who will be your customers. It is the easiest life in +the world!" + +"But I don't know the least thing about your medicaments, and couldn't +tell what any of them would heal or cure." + +"Oh, you need not trouble your head about that! Just take a look into +this chest. See--here in the different compartments are arranged +various bottles, vials and boxes, with the names of their contents +above them. These tiny letters under each one, which cannot be read +without the aid of a magnifying glass, are the names of the diseases +for which the contents of the bottles, vials, and boxes are infallible +remedies. When a patient applies to you, listen what he has to say; +then, diagnose the disease, consult your microscopic directions, and +dose him according to his ability to pay." + +"And how long will I have to wear your hideous form and let you occupy +my stately proportions?" I asked. + +"Until we both desire to exchange again. I will give you one of my +magic rings and I'll keep the other. If you turn the ring on your +finger at the same moment I turn mine, then the exchange will be +effected, no matter how far apart our bodies may be. Now, take this +ring, and summon your orderly. Bid him escort me to the gate, and give +me a glass of brandy before he lets me depart." + +I obeyed these directions and, after a few minutes, the burning in my +throat convinced me that I was in Behoric's squat body; that he +occupied my taller shell I found very shortly. + +Hardly had the exchange taken place, when a bombardier came to +announce that the second cannon in the third battery had burst, +whereupon Behoric in my body answered: + +"Boil some glue, and stick the pieces together; then wind some stout +twine around the cannon to prevent it from bursting again." + +At these directions the bombardier and the orderly exchanged glances +and snickered. + +"This won't do at all," I said to myself, so I whispered to my figure: +"Behoric, just change back again for a second, will you?" + +Each turned the ring on his finger, and I was again I. + +"Take the broken cannon to the arsenal," I said to the grinning +bombardier, "and put in its place one of the bronze pieces from +chamber number IV. Why do you laugh, idiot?" + +Then Behoric and I exchanged again, and I found myself trudging in his +body down the hill from the fortress, with the medicine chest on my +back. I was obliged to pass through the beleaguerer's camp, and, +naturally, was commanded to halt. When they spoke to me I could not +understand them--I, who am perfectly familiar with French, Latin, +English, Polish, Russian, Turkish, Indian, Dutch--I, with Behoric's +untutored ears, and with his inability to converse in any language but +the German, could not understand a word the Frenchmen said to me. The +colonel was obliged to send for an interpreter. + +"Have you been inside the fortress?" I was asked. + +"I have." + +"Did you deliver to the chief gunner what I sent with you?" + +"I did." + +"Will he do what I ask?" + +"He will." + +Here, to my great surprise--for I had done nothing to earn it--the +colonel pressed fifty thalers into my palm, and motioned me to pass on +my way. + +I wandered out into the world, trudged from city to city, selling the +contents of my chest, until I came to Madgeburg, where, having +accumulated a considerable sum of money, I bought a horse and wagon. I +could now travel about with greater convenience and speed than when +forced to carry the heavy medicine-chest on my back. I also hired an +assistant to blow a trumpet when I wanted to collect a crowd around my +wagon. + +I became so well satisfied with the pleasant life I now led, no +thought of changing back to my own body ever occurred to me. My +blood-comrade might keep it, and continue to fire cannon from +Ehrenbreitstein--I was quite content with my quack-doctoring, and with +his anatomy. + +And a wonderfully shrewd and sensible little anatomy it was! My own +did not contain a tenth part the sense that was in his. Therefore, I +considered it my duty to bestow the best of care on it. I fattened it +with the same attention to details I would have observed had it been +my own and I was amply able to supply it with everything that was +necessary to increase its bulk. + +I had all the money I wanted. The regular doctors became impoverished; +for, to me alone would the people apply for help--and I must say the +remedies I sold accomplished wonders. + +One day, however, a misfortune occurred to me. I was selling my +miracle-cures in the market place in Madgeburg as fast as I and my +assistant could hand them out, when some one--a wretch hired by the +envious doctors, no doubt--thrust a piece of burning sponge into the +ear of my horse. You may guess the result. + +The horse ran away, the wagon was upset, and my medicaments scattered +in all directions. + +My neck was not broken, but what happened was almost as bad. When I +came to replace the medicaments in the chest, I found that I could not +remember just where each bottle, vial, and box properly belonged. +However, I made a guess of it, and put them back where I thought they +ought to be. I made a good many mistakes, though, judging by some of +the very peculiar effects the remedies produced after the accident. + +The syndic, whose right leg was shorter than the left, sent for me to +remedy the defect. I was a little fuddled from having emptied a bottle +of good French wine just before I quitted my lodgings; and, instead of +rubbing the elongating ointment on the shorter limb, I applied it to +the longer one; the consequence of which was: the longer leg increased +to such a length that the worthy syndic, when he wanted to sit down, +had to perch himself on the buffet, and would bump his head against +the ceiling every step he took. He threatened to shoot me. + +A second mischance occurred when I was called to attend the president +of the Board of Trade. He had the gout in both feet and could not move +without crutches. I had a certain remedy for that fell disease, a +remedy so powerful that only a very small portion, about the size of a +pea, was required to embrocate an afflicted member. Thinking to hasten +the cure, I applied half the contents of a box to each foot, which +made the old gentleman so active and nimble, he was forced, for a +time, to take the position of runner for the Elector of Brandenburg, +because he could not keep his feet still; nor could he sit anywhere +but at a loom, where he might stamp his feet continually; and at +night, when he wanted to go to sleep he had to be bound to a +tread-mill. + +Two other wonderfully efficacious remedies were: a wash to force a +luxuriant crop of curling hair to grow on a bald head; the other, if +applied to toothless jaws, would cause new teeth to appear. + +The result of getting these two remedies misplaced was: the tooth-wash +was used on the bald head of a man; and the hair-restorative on the +toothless jaws of a woman. Instead of hair, two beautiful horns +appeared on the man's head; while the woman grew a mustache that would +have roused the envy of a drum-major. + +But these cases were nothing compared to what happened to the wife of +the chief justice. She was afflicted with severe paroxysms of +hiccoughing, and I was summoned to relieve her. There was in my chest +a remedy for such an attack; but, having been misplaced, I got hold of +the wrong box, and administered to the sufferer a dose of pills +intended to force obstinate hens to produce eggs. In less than six +weeks that unfortunate lady gave birth to seven living children-- + +"I don't believe it! I don't believe a single word of it!" interrupted +the prince, who had almost burst his belt with laughing. "You are +asking too much if you expect us to credit such outrageous fables." + +Here the chair remarked with great seriousness: "Beg pardon, your +highness: but there are authentic records of similar cases. In +Hungary, the wife of a Count Miczbanus gave birth at one time to +seven living sons, all of whom lived to grow up." + +"She certainly took some of the prisoner's hen pills," laughingly +responded his highness. + +The prisoner continued: + +Naturally mistakes of this sort roused the animosity of the patients; +but, none were so enraged as was the burgomaster. His case, indeed, +capped the climax! I had two miraculous cures: one would cause to +disappear from the human nose pimples, warts and all other disfiguring +excrescences; the other would transform silver into gold. + +The burgomaster possessed a large silver snuff-box and an exceedingly +prominent and highly-colored nose which was covered with unsightly +pimples. He sent for me in secret and bade me test the efficacy of the +two miracle-cures on his snuff-box and on his nose. + +Like some of the other remedies, these two had also changed places, in +consequence of which, the burgomaster's nose turned to gold, while the +snuff-box vanished as if from the face of the earth. + +This cure so amused the prince he could hardly gasp: + +"Enough--enough!--no more today! We will hear the rest tomorrow--I am +faint with laughing." + +The court adjourned until the following day, when the prisoner resumed +his confession: + +As might be expected, this last mistake of mine caused a dispute to +arise. The burgomaster, however, was not so angry because his nose had +changed to gold; but nothing would console him for the loss of his +snuff-box. He actually accused me of stealing it! + +Had the worthy man been versed in the science of chemistry, he would +have known that there are substances which absorb, and consume, each +other. For instance: _argentum vivum_ will dissipate _aurum_; and +_aqua fortis_ will consume silver as will a starving cow barley. This +is called _occulta qualitas_. + +The citizens of Madgeburg, however, are not clever enough to +comprehend matters so transcendental in character. I was summoned to +appear before the mayor, who, being father-in-law to a doctor, +sentenced me, out of spite, to be flogged in public. + +This did not suit me at all, so I said to myself: "Now, friend +Behoric, I have been content to occupy your carcass without murmuring, +so long as nothing more was required of me than to stuff it with +liver-pasties and oysters; but, when it comes to having the hide +tickled with a cat-o'-nine tails, then you had better come back into +it!" + +I was already bound to the pillory and the executioner had bared my +back, revealing the marks of former scourging--of which I could +remember nothing as they were on Behoric's body. + +When the executioner saw that the whip would not be new to my +blood-comrade's hide, he sent for a heavier scourge, the ends of which +terminated with barbed nails. + +"Now, Behoric," I said, "you must take this flogging yourself." + +My hands being bound together, I had no difficulty turning the ring on +my little finger. I had given it but one turn, when, to my great joy, +I found myself in my own body, in my casemate in Ehrenbreitstein +fortress; and before me stood his honor, here, with an empty fire-ball +in one hand; in the other, what he called the "proofs of my treason." + +I guessed at once what my blood-comrade had been doing, what crime he +had committed while occupying my body. + +The Frenchmen, who are leagued with the Bocksritter, had sent Behoric +to the fortress, to take my place, and inform them what was going on +in here. When he found that his crime had been discovered by his +honor, the mayor, he said to himself: "It is time for Belphegor to +return to his body;" and, as it happened, he turned his ring at the +same moment I turned the one on my finger. + +I can imagine his consternation when he found himself in the pillory +in Madgeburg, with his back bared for the scourge; and I have to laugh +every time I think of the grimaces he must have made when the barbed +nails cut into his scarred hide! + +This, your highness, and honorable gentlemen of the court, is the +strictly veracious history of my last capital crime. + + + + +PART XIV. + +THE WHITE DOVE. + + +The decision of the court at the conclusion of the long trial was as +follows: + +"Whereas: After hearing all the evidence, it has been found impossible +to establish fully the exact nature of twenty-one of the twenty-two +crimes, for which the prisoner has been indicted, the court has +decided to pronounce him guilty of only the twenty-second and last on +the register--'Treason.' + +"But, as the prisoner avers that this transgression was committed by +his blood-comrade, who occupied his, the prisoner's, body at the time +the crime was committed; and that his, the prisoner's, _mind_ was not +cognizant of the blood-comrade's intentions when the exchange of +bodies was effected, the court has decided to acquit the prisoner's +mind and commend it to the mercy of God; and, that it may serve as a +lesson to all miscreants who contemplate a similar crime, to sentence +the body to death by a merciful shot in the back of the head." + +The prisoner thanked the court for its clemency and assured the +honorable gentlemen that he had no desire to postpone the execution of +the just sentence. + +When he was brought to the place of execution he removed his coat and +hat, then requested, as a last favor, that his hands might be left +free, and not bound behind his back, as he wished to clasp them on his +breast in prayer. + +The request was granted. He knelt, and in an audible tone repeated the +Lord's Prayer. Then he turned toward the musketeers, who were waiting +matches in readiness above the priming-pans, and said earnestly: + +"Comrades, I beg you, when you shoot me, try also to kill the raven +which is fluttering on my shoulder"--he glanced furtively toward his +shoulder and added joyfully: "No! No! it is not the raven--it is my +white dove--my precious white dove! She has come to bear my soul to +the land wherein she now dwells! My good angel!--My Madus--my only +love!" + +Twelve musket shots rang out on the silent air, and the white dove +soared away with the released soul. + + + + +FINIS.) + + + + +Transcriber's Note: The original edition did not contain a table of +contents. A table of contents has been created for this electronic +edition. + +The use of quotation marks in the original text was irregular and not +always consistent. Some words, especially proper names, were also +spelled inconsistently. Except as noted below, spelling and +punctuation have been left as they originally appeared. + +On the title page, "MAURUS JOKÁI" was changed to "MAURUS JÓKAI". + +In Part I, Chapter I, a single-quote (') was changed to a double-quote +(") after "It would make the carrying on a war an easy matter." + +In Part I, Chapter II, "Prisoners: I was a member of a band of +robbers" was changed to "Prisoner: I was a member of a band of +robbers", and a missing quotation mark was added after "diabolicum +implicitum". + +In Part II, Chapter I, quotation marks were added after "Kto tam? +Stoj!" and "not a man of your word", "you shall have this koltuk-denigenegi" +was changed to "you shall have this koltuk-dengenegi", and "Incendarii +ambitiosi comburantur" was changed to "Incendiarii ambitiosi +comburantur". + +In Part II, Chapter II, "cities, castles, and monastaries" was changed +to "cities, castles, and monasteries", and a quotation mark was added +after "not the other one!" + +In Part III, Chapter I, a quotation mark was added after "what your +crutch contains!", "I don't wan't brandy" was changed to "I don't want +brandy", and a quotation mark after "the tongue in which demons +spake--" was removed. + +In Part IV, Chapter I, a quotation mark was added before "This wine, +Malchus", a quotation mark was added after "homicidium", "Qui bene +distinquet" was changed to "Qui bene distinguit", and "deeply incensed +by the impiety of the donnenritter" was changed to "deeply incensed by +the impiety of the dornenritter". + +In Part V, Chapter II, "Que bene distinguit" was changed to "Qui bene +distinguit", a period and quotation mark were added after "the +two-thousand you owe me", quotation marks were removed after "seal the +bargain with a kiss" and "bought with the money her son had given +her", and "the same geneological tree" was changed to "the same +genealogical tree". + +In Part VI, Chapter I, "worth-nothing, insignificent cipher" was +changed to "worth-nothing, insignificant cipher", and a missing period +was added after "in every city in the land". + +In Part VII, Chapter I, a quotation mark was removed after +"respectable God-fearing man". + +In Part VIII, Chapter III, "mantained direct communication" was +changed to "maintained direct communication". + +In Part IX, Chapter I, a quotation mark before "During a calm" was +removed, and "how is it posible that such a storm" was changed to "how +is it possible that such a storm". + +In Part X, Chapter II, "all were against, me" was changed to "all were +against me". + +In Part XI, Chapter I, "cast from me every fear" was changed to "I +cast from me every fear", and "David's battle with Goliah" was changed +to "David's battle with Goliath". + +In Part XI, Chapter II, "Sint ut sunt aut nou sint" was changed to +"Sint ut sunt aut non sint". + +In Part XIII, Chapter I, a single quote (') was changed to a double +quote (") before "Why do you wish to exchange?" and "Do you still +belong to the satyrs?", and a quotation mark was added before "The +leader has ordered it" and after "such outrageous fables". + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Told by the Death's Head, by Mór Jókai + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TOLD BY THE DEATH'S HEAD *** + +***** This file should be named 34770-8.txt or 34770-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/4/7/7/34770/ + +Produced by Steven desJardins and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Told by the Death's Head + A Romantic Tale + +Author: Mór Jókai + +Illustrator: Charles Hope Provost + +Translator: S. E. Boggs + +Release Date: December 28, 2010 [EBook #34770] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TOLD BY THE DEATH'S HEAD *** + + + + +Produced by Steven desJardins and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 348px;"><a name="front" id="front"></a> +<img src="images/image-1.jpg" width="348" height="500" alt=""Stay, Constable, I want to see what you put into that fire pot—open it"" title="" /> +</div> +<p class="caption">"Stay, Constable, I want to see what you put into that +fire pot—open it"</p> + + + + +<h1>TOLD BY THE<br /> +DEATH'S HEAD</h1> + +<p class="center bigtext">A ROMANTIC TALE</p> + +<p class="center">BY<br /> +<span class="bigtext">MAURUS JÓKAI</span></p> + +<p class="center">TRANSLATED BY<br /> +<span class="bigtext">S. E. BOGGS</span></p> + +<p class="center"><i>Translator of Prof. Haeckel's "India and Ceylon," Maurus Jokai's +"The Nameless Castle," etc.</i></p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 100px;"> +<img src="images/logo.jpg" width="100" height="93" alt="decorative element" title="" /> +</div> + +<p class="center">ILLUSTRATED</p> + +<table class="figcenter" style="table-layout: fixed;" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="publisher information"> +<tr> +<td class="center" colspan="3">THE SAALFIELD PUBLISHING COMPANY</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="city1">CHICAGO</td> +<td class="city2">Akron, Ohio</td> +<td class="city3">NEW YORK</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="center" colspan="3">1908</td> +</tr> +</table> + +<p class="center smalltext"><span class="smcap">Copyright</span>, 1902,<br /> +BY<br /> +THE SAALFIELD PUBLISHING COMPANY</p> + +<p class="center smallertext">MADE BY<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE WERNER COMPANY</span><br /> +AKRON, OHIO</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE"></a>PREFACE.</h2> + + +<p>In Part II, Vol. 2, of the Rhenish <i>Antiquarius</i>, I once came across a +skull that is said—see page 612—to swing, enclosed in a metal +casket, from an iron bar in the foundry of Ehrenbreitstein fortress. +Distinction of this order does not fall to an ordinary mortal. Yon +empty shell of human wisdom once bore the burden of no less than +twenty-one mortal sins—the seven <i>originalia</i> trebled. Each crime is +noted. The criminal confessed to the entire three-times-seven, and yet +the death sentence was not passed upon him because of the twenty-one +crimes. His fate was decided by the transgression of a military +regulation.</p> + +<p>What if this skull could speak? What if it could defend +itself?—relate, with all the grim humor of one on the rack, the many +pranks played—the mad follies committed, from the banks of the +Weichsel to the delta of the Ganges!</p> + +<p>If my highly esteemed readers will promise to give me their credulous +attention, I will relate what was told to me by the death's head.</p> + +<p class="signature">The Author.</p> + + + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<table class="figcenter" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="Table of Contents"> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART I</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">The "Fire-Pot."</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_I_I">5</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Trial.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_I_II">17</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART II</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">With the Robbers—The Prsjaka Caves.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_II_I">25</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Berdiczov Monastery.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_II_II">85</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART III</span><br />IN THE SERVICE OF THE DUKE.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">Malachi.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_III_I">101</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">Persida.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_III_II">114</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART IV</span><br />WITH THE TEMPLARS.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">In the Hollow Tree.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV_I">138</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART V</span><br />THE HOMICIDE.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">On Board Mynheer's Ship.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_V_I">173</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Moo-Calf.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_V_II">179</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART VI</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Forgery.—One Cipher.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI_I">204</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Legacy.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI_II">207</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART VII</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">Peaceful Repose.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII_I">215</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART VIII</span><br />IN BENGAL.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">Begum Sumro.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII_I">232</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">Idol Worship.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII_II">242</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">III.</td> +<td class="chapname">Maimuna, And Danesh.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII_III">249</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART IX</span><br />ON THE HIGH SEAS.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Pirates.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX_I">267</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART X</span><br />UXORICIDE.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Secundogenitur.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_X_I">279</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Quicksands.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_X_II">289</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART XI</span><br />IN SATAN'S REALM.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Satyrs.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI_I">300</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">Witch-Sabbath.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI_II">311</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART XII</span><br />THE BREAD OF SHAME.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Magic Thaler.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_XII_I">323</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">II.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Husband of the Wife of Another Man.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_XII_II">329</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART XIII</span><br />THE EXCHANGE OF BODIES.</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">The Quack Doctor.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII_I">335</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="tocpart" colspan="3"><span class="tocbig">PART XIV</span></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="chapnum">I.</td> +<td class="chapname">The White Dove.</td> +<td class="chappage"><a href="#PART_XIV">347</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + + +<h2><a name="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS" id="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> + +<p class="center"><i>By Charles Hope Provost</i></p> + +<table class="figcenter" border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" summary="List of Illustrations"> +<tr> +<td class="smalltext"> </td> +<td class="imagepage smalltext">PAGE</td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="imagecaption">"Stay, Constable, I want to see what you put into that +fire pot—open it"</td> +<td class="imagepage"><a href="#front"><i>Frontispiece</i></a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="imagecaption">"I took my lamp, descended to the crypt"</td> +<td class="imagepage"><a href="#image-2">167</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="imagecaption">"I could read in her radiant countenance how overjoyed +she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured +to clasp her once more in my arms"</td> +<td class="imagepage"><a href="#image-3">252</a></td> +</tr> +<tr> +<td class="imagecaption">"Thus I managed to propel my body slowly, painfully +toward the stable earth"</td> +<td class="imagepage"><a href="#image-4">296</a></td> +</tr> +</table> + + + + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[Pg 5]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_I" id="PART_I"></a>PART I.</h2> + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_I_I" id="CHAPTER_I_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE "FIRE-POT."</span></h3> + + +<p>The hero of our romantic narrative, or better, narratives, was a +constable. Not one of that useful class appointed, in our day, to +direct the vehicles which pass over the two approaches to the +suspension-bridge in Budapest; rather, he was the chief of a body +whose task it is to provoke disturbance, who win all the more praise +and glory the greater the havoc and destruction they create. In a +word: he was a gunner.</p> + +<p>The chronicle of his exploits gives only his Christian name, which was +"Hugo."</p> + +<p>In the year 1688, when the French beleaguered Coblentz, Hugo had +charge of the battery in the outermost tower of Ehrenbreitstein +fortress—the "Montalembert Tower."</p> + +<p>Coblentz and Ehrenbreitstein are opposite one another on the banks of +the Rhine, as are Pesth and Ofen; and the Blocksberg looks down on us, +as does the citadel of Ehrenbreitstein on Coblentz.</p> + +<p>The city, which is strongly fortified on all sides, had become +accustomed to being beleaguered—now by the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[Pg 6]</a></span> French, now by the +Prussians; today by the Austrians, tomorrow by the Swedes.</p> + +<p>On the occasion of which I write, Coblentz was under a terrible fire +from the French guns, which created great havoc in that portion of the +city known as the "Old Town."</p> + +<p>Specially memorable and remarkable was the manner in which the +"fire-balls" seemed to know just where to find the abodes of the duke, +and the commandant of the fortress. It mattered not how often they +changed their quarters, the Frenchmen would always discover them, and +aim accordingly—though it was impossible to see into the city from +outside the walls. There certainly must have been some witch-craft at +work. Hugo's Montalembert tower was on the side of the fortress most +exposed to the assaults of the enemy; its successful defense, +therefore, was all the more worthy of praise.</p> + +<p>The management of ordnance in those days was not the comparatively +simple matter it is today, with the Krupp and the Uchatius guns. It +was a real science to fetch from the furnace a white-hot cannon-ball, +ram it into the long, slender culverin, and if, after the discharge, +the ball remained sticking in the throat of the gun, to remove it with +the various forceps, nippers, and tongs; and, after every shot, to +examine with a curious implement resembling Mercury's caducens, the +interior of the culverin to learn whether the discharge had caused a +rupture anywhere.</p> + +<p>However, it is not necessary to be a great genius in order to master +all the intricacies and technicalities of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[Pg 7]</a></span> a gunner's trade. An +ordinary man might even learn, after some practice, how to handle an +"elephant;" and, if he were intrusted with the quadrant, he might also +manage to discharge the heavier bombs with satisfactory result. It +must be remembered, though, that a gunner needs to possess +considerable skill as well as experience in order to hurl successfully +against the approaching foe a "fire-shield," which discharges +simultaneously from every one of its thirty-five holes as many +bullets; and the "storm-tub" requires even more dexterity. This +implement of warfare runs on two wheels. The axles are spiked with +keen-edged knives, and the wheels are filled with gunpowder, which +ignites and explodes when the machine is set in motion. If the powder +ignites promptly in both wheels at the same instant, the infernal +thing dashes like an infuriated bull into the ranks of the enemy, +burning the eyes of some, scorching the beards of others, and hacking +and slashing everything with which its revolving knives come in +contact. If the powder in only one of the wheels explodes, the machine +spins around on the motionless wheel like a top, and scatters an +entire company; if the second wheel explodes only half a second after +the first, then those who have the management of the demon will do +well to take to their heels with all speed possible.</p> + +<p>It is not necessary to explain at length the advantages of the +chain-shot. Anyone will be able to understand its operation if he will +but remember that, when two balls connected by a chain are discharged +toward the enemy, and one of the balls strikes a man, the other<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[Pg 8]</a></span> ball +will, naturally, circle around the unfortunate until the entire length +of chain is wound tightly about him; the circling ball, meanwhile, +will strike with various results: the head, the nose, the ear, or some +other portion of the bodies of the soldiers within its radius. It is +greatly to be regretted that the use of the "handle-ball" has been +discontinued. This weapon was shaped very much like two pot-ladles, +bound together at the handles by an iron ring. The man who chanced to +be caught between the two ladles might congratulate himself that he +escaped with nothing worse than a choking; while the two soldiers on +his right and left, whose heads had been caught in the bowls of the +ladles, would remember, to the end of their days, the peculiar and +disagreeable sensation experienced. There were two more wonderful +implements of warfare: one a German, the other a French invention. The +former, which was an emanation from Hugo's brain, was called a +"<i>Bombenjungen-werfer</i>."<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> It was a huge mortar, the central cavity +capable of holding a bomb of fifty pounds weight; surrounding this +cavity were eight smaller bores, each holding a five-pound bomb. The +same charge hurled every one of the nine bombs in rapid succession +from the mortar; and one can imagine the astonishment of the Frenchman +when, after hearing but one report, the eight "babies" followed, one +after the other, the mother bomb.</p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Anglice: "Hurler of baby-bombs."</p></div> + +<p>This was a diversion Hugo prepared for the beleaguerers, who in return +invented an amusement for him.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[Pg 9]</a></span> It was a "fire-pot," was shaped +exactly like the earthen water-jug the Hungarian reaper carries with +him to the harvest field to preserve his drinking-water fresh and +cool. The machine was made of iron, and filled with a diabolical +mixture. It had four spouts—precisely like our water-jug—from which +the fire would hiss and sputter; it was intended to set fire to +everything combustible where it fell.</p> + +<p>The Germans also had what are called "fire-balls," which hiss and +spit, and set fire to everything about them; and other bombs which +explode the moment they touch the earth. The French fire-pot, however, +combined these two properties: it set fire first, and exploded +afterward.</p> + +<p>The beleaguered understood very well how to manage a fire-ball. Like +Helene Zrinyi, the heroine who defended the fortress of Munkács, the +Germans had learned, so soon as a fire-ball fell inside the walls, to +cover it with a wet bullock's-hide, which would at once smother the +fire-spitting monster, and render it harmless.</p> + +<p>But the fire-pot was not to be treated so summarily. If the Germans +attempted to smother the fire-demon, to prevent the air from reaching +his four noses, he would burst, and woe to him who chanced to be in +the way of the flying splinters! He, at least, would have no further +desire to sport with a fire-pot.</p> + +<p>It happened one day that a fire-pot, which had fallen inside the +fortress, did not explode after it had hissed and spit out its fury. +When it became cool enough it was taken to Hugo.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[Pg 10]</a></span>"Now I shall find out what is inside this dangerous missile," remarked +the constable; "then I'll make some like it and send them to our +friends over yonder."</p> + +<p>Over the neck of the fire-pot was a sort of hat, shaped like those +covering the necks of the Hungarian wooden bottles (<i>esutora</i>). This +hat, of course, could be removed. After this discovery Hugo invited +the commandant, the grand-duke, the governor and mayor of the city, +the syndic, and the duke's alchemist to be present at the opening of +the fire-pot.</p> + +<p>Now each one of the invited said to himself: "It will be enough if the +others are there—why should I go? The infernal machine may explode +when they are opening it."</p> + +<p>And so they all stopped bravely at home and Hugo alone found out what +was in the fire-pot.</p> + +<p>After it was opened, and Hugo had convinced himself of the nature of +the diabolical compound it contained, he proceeded to cast several +fire-pots like the French one; and, in the presence of the commandant +and the grand-duke, shot them into the enemy's camp. The two +distinguished gentlemen, who were peering through their telescopes, +were highly delighted when they saw the bombs, which flew through the +air like dragons with tails of fire, reach the points at which they +had been aimed, ignite everything inflammable, and afterward explode. +Now and again it would happen that one of Hugo's fire-pots would fail +to explode in the Frenchmen's camp, just as theirs would sometimes +fail to do what was expected of them. But Hugo always collected the +enemy's unexploded bombs, and,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[Pg 11]</a></span> after opening and refilling them with +fresh explosives, would hurl them back whence they came.</p> + +<p>Oh, I tell you war was conducted in those good old days on economical +lines!</p> + +<p>As late even as the year 1809 Napoleon had his men collect 28,000 of +the enemy's cannon-balls on the battle-field of Wagram, and shot them +back at the Austrians; and had the fight continued two days longer, +the opposing armies would have ricocheted the same balls back and +forth so long as the cannonading made it necessary.</p> + +<p>The grand-duke, as was proper, rewarded the constable for his +discovery by an increase of pay—from sixteen to twenty thalers a +month; and in addition made him a present of a barrel of strong beer, +which gave offence to the commandant, who was obliged to quench his +thirst with a weaker brew.</p> + +<p>Hugo had many enviers, but none of them ventured to pick a quarrel +with him. He had the frame of an athlete; his face, with its luxuriant +red-beard, resembled that of a lion. He was always in a good humor; no +one had ever seen Hugo angry, embarrassed, or frightened. There were +no traces of trouble and grief on his countenance. He was perhaps +forty years of age, was somewhat disfigured by small-pox pits, but +wherever there was a pretty girl or woman to be won, Hugo was sure to +attract her. He was fond of good living—liked everything to be of the +best, consequently his money never remained long in his pockets.</p> + +<p>The constable's epicurean tastes irritated the mayor, who, as chief of +the city militia, outranked the artiller<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[Pg 12]</a></span>ist. But Hugo managed on all +occasions to out-do his superior officer. Rieke, the trim little +suttler-wife, would slap the militia captain's fingers if he ventured +to give her a chin-chuck, but a hearty hug from the smiling constable +never met with a repulse. In consequence of the siege prices for the +necessaries, as well as for the luxuries of life, had become +exorbitant in both cities. Three thalers was the unheard-of price +asked at market for a fat goose. The mayor's wife haggled for a long +time about the price without success, when along came pretty Rieke.</p> + +<p>"How much for your goose?" she asked.</p> + +<p>"Three thalers."</p> + +<p>"I'll take it."</p> + +<p>She paid the money and marched away with the goose.</p> + +<p>By some means the mayor learned that Hugo had a baked fat goose for +his dinner.</p> + +<p>"Look here, constable," he said next day to the artillerist, "how +comes it that you can afford to feast on fat goose while I, the mayor, +and your superior officer, must content myself with lean herring, +cheese and bread? Your pay is only twenty thalers a month; mine is +three florins a day. Pray tell me how you manage it?"</p> + +<p>To which Hugo made answer:</p> + +<p>"Well, mayor, if I wanted to deceive you, I should say that the money +for all the good things I enjoy does not come from my pocket; that +Rieke, who is infatuated with me (how I managed <i>that</i> part of the +business I shouldn't tell you), supplies me with whatever I want.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[Pg 13]</a></span> But +I'll be honest with you and tell you the truth—but pray don't betray +my secret, for I don't want to have anything to do with the priests. +What I tell you is in strictest confidence and must not go any +farther: I have a magic thaler, one of those coins, vulgarly called a +'breeding-penny,' that always returns to my pocket no matter how often +I may spend it—"</p> + +<p>"You don't say so! And how came you by such a coin, constable?"</p> + +<p>"I'll tell you that, too, mayor, only be careful not to let the +Capuchins hear of it. I got the thaler in the Hochstatt marshes, from +a <i>bocksritter</i>—"<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a></p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Satyr.</p></div> + +<p>"I hope you didn't bond your soul to him for it?" interrupted the +mayor.</p> + +<p>"Not I. I outwitted the devil by giving the ritter an ignorant Jew lad +in my stead."</p> + +<p>"You must keep that transaction a secret," cautioned the mayor; then +he hastened to repeat what he had heard to the grand-duke.</p> + +<p>"Would to heaven every thaler I possess were a breeding-penny!" +exclaimed the high-born gentleman. "It would make the carrying on a +war an easy matter."</p> + +<p>From the day it became known that Constable Hugo possessed that +never-failing treasure, a magic coin, and was in league with the +all-powerful bocksritter, he rose in the esteem of his fellows.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile Ehrenbreitstein and Coblentz continued under bombardment +from the Frenchmen. The enemy's fire-pots never failed to find the +grand-duke's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[Pg 14]</a></span> quarters, notwithstanding the fact that he changed them +every day. This at last became so annoying that treason began to be +suspected, and the duke offered a reward for the detection of the spy +who gave the information to the enemy. That a spy was at work in the +German camp was beyond question, though the outlets of both cities +were so closely guarded that it would have been impossible for a +living mortal to pass through them. Nor could the treason have been +committed by means of carrier-pigeons, for, whatever of domestic +fowl-kind had been in the cities had long since been devoured by the +hungry citizens. The mayor, ever on the alert for transgressors, had +his suspicions as to who might be the spy. Every man but one in the +beleaguered cities fasted, lamented, prayed, cursed, wept, as the case +might be, save this one man, who remained constantly cheerful, +smiling, well-fed.</p> + +<p>When one of the Frenchmen's fiery monsters came hissing and spitting +into the fortress this one man, instead of taking to his heels and +seeking the shelter of a cellar, as did the rest of his comrades, +would coolly wait until the fire-pot fell to the ground, and, if it +failed to burst he would dig it out of the earth into which it had +bored itself and carry it to the foundry.</p> + +<p>Surely this was more than foolhardiness!</p> + +<p>The constable always opened the enemy's unexploded fire-pots in his +subterranean work-room; refilled them there, then hurled them back +without delay. There was something more than amusement behind this.</p> + +<p>One day, when Hugo came up from his subterra<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[Pg 15]</a></span>nean workroom, he +encountered the mayor, who said to him:</p> + +<p>"Stay, constable, I want to see what you put into that fire-pot—open +it."</p> + +<p>Without a moment's hesitation Hugo unscrewed the lid and revealed the +explosives wrapped in coarse linen; at the same time he explained how +much gunpowder, hazel-wood charcoal, sulphur, resin, pitch, +sal-ammoniac, borax and acetate of lead were necessary to make up the +amount of unquenchable fire required for the bomb.</p> + +<p>"Very good," quoth the city functionary, "but what beside these is +there in the bottom of the pot?"</p> + +<p>"Under this earthen plate, your honor, is more gunpowder. When the +explosives on top are burnt out this plate, which has become red-hot, +explodes the powder and bursts the bomb—that is the whole secret of +the infernal machine."</p> + +<p>"I should like to see what is under the earthen plate."</p> + +<p>As the mayor spoke these words the constable gave a sudden glance over +his shoulder. In the glance was expressed all the temerity of the +adventurer, mingled with rage, determination and alarm. But only for +an instant. The mayor's bailiffs surrounded him, closing every avenue +of escape. Then he burst into a loud laugh, shrugged his shoulders, +and said:</p> + +<p>"Very well, your honor, see for yourself what is under the earthen +plate."</p> + +<p>The mayor forced open with the blade of his pocket-knife the earthen +plate. There was no powder in the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[Pg 16]</a></span> bottom of the bomb, only some +ordinary sand; but in it was concealed a folded paper that contained a +minute description of the situation in the German camp.</p> + +<p>"Bind him in chains!" exclaimed the mayor in a triumphant voice. "At +last we have the proofs of your treachery, knave! I'll give you a +pretty Rieke! I'll serve up a fat goose for you!"</p> + +<p>Hugo continued to laugh while the bailiffs were placing the fetters on +his hands and feet.</p> + +<p>As if to complete the evidence against him, there came hissing at that +moment a fire-pot from the French camp. When it was opened and the +earthen plate removed it was found to contain two hundred Albert +thalers!</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_I_II" id="CHAPTER_I_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE TRIAL.</span></h3> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 150px;"> +<img src="images/finger.png" width="150" height="96" alt="pointing finger" title="" /> +</div> + + +<p>The hand with the two lines under it signifies, in the court records +(for the sake of brevity), that at this point in the trial, the chief +of the tribunal gave the signal to the executioner for another turn of +the wheel. When this had been done, the notary would take down the +confession until the prisoner on the rack would cry out:</p> + +<p>"Have mercy!—compassion!"</p> + +<p>The prince was seated at a separate table, on a black-draped +throne-like arm-chair with a canopy.</p> + +<p>The mayor occupied the inquisitor's chair.</p> + +<p>First question addressed to the accused:</p> + +<p>"What is your name?"</p> + +<p>"My name, in Podolia, is 'Jaroslav Tergusko;' in Zbarasz it is 'Zdenko +Kohaninsky;' in Odessa it is 'Frater Hilarius;' in Hamburg, 'Elias +Junker;' in Münster it is 'William Stramm;' in Amsterdam, 'Mynheer +Tobias van der Bullen;' in Singapore, 'Maharajah Kong;' on the high +seas, 'Captain Rouge;' in The Hague, it is 'Ritter Malchus;' in Lille, +'Chevalier de<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</a></span> Mont Olympe;' in Pfalz, 'Doctor Sarepta;' here, I am +called 'Hugo von Habernik.'</p> + +<p>"Have you any more names?" inquired the chair.</p> + +<p>At this question everybody began to laugh—the prince, the judges, the +prisoner, even the skull on the table. The chair alone remained grim +and dignified.</p> + +<p>"I can't remember any more of my names," was the prisoner's reply.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 150px;"> +<img src="images/finger.png" width="150" height="96" alt="pointing finger" title="" /> +</div> + +<p class="center">SECOND QUESTION:</p> + +<p>"What is your religion?"</p> + +<p>"I was born an Augsburg Confession heretic. When I went to Cracow I +became a Socinian; in the Ukraine I joined the Greek church; afterward +I became an orthodox Catholic; later, a Rosicrucian; then a Quaker. I +have also professed the faith of Brahma; and once I was a member of +the community of Atheists and devil-worshipping Manichees, called also +Cainists."</p> + +<p>"A fine array, truly!" commented the chair, as the notary entered the +list in the register.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 150px;"> +<img src="images/finger.png" width="150" height="96" alt="pointing finger" title="" /> +</div> + +<p class="center">THIRD QUESTION:</p> + +<p>"What is your occupation, prisoner?"</p> + +<p>"I have been ensign; prisoner; slave; robber-chief; parasite; ducal +grand-steward; mendicant friar; recruiting sergeant; sacristan; +knight; shell-fish<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</a></span> dealer; stock-jobber; ship-captain; viceroy; +pirate; teacher; knacker's assistant; conjuror; bocksritter; hangman; +pikeman; quack-doctor; prophet; constable—"</p> + +<p>"Stop! Stop!" interrupted the chair. "The notary cannot keep up with +you."</p> + +<p>Again the court-room resounded with laughter; the prisoner on the +rack, as well as the skull on the table, again joined in the +merriment. Everybody seemed in a good humor—that is, everybody but +the mayor. He alone was grave.</p> + +<p>After the signal to the executioner the fourth question followed:</p> + +<p>"Of what crimes are you guilty?"</p> + +<p>(For the purpose of greater perspicuity the chair dictated to the +recording secretary the Latin nomenclature of the crimes confessed.)</p> + +<p>Prisoners: "I was a member of a band of robbers and incendiaries."</p> + +<p>"<i>Primo, latrocinium</i>," dictated the chair.</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I won the affections of my benefactor's wife."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Secundo, adulterium.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I robbed a church."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Tertio, sacrilegium.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I masqueraded as a nobleman under a false name."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Quarto, larvatus.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I committed a forgery."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Quinto, falsorium.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I killed my friend in a duel."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</a></span>Chair: "<i>Sexto, homicidium ex duello.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I cheated my partners in business."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Septimo, stellionatus.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I betrayed state secrets confided to me."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Octavo, felonia.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I used for my own purpose money belonging to others."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Nono, barattaria.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I worshipped idols."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo, idololatria.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I married a second wife while the first was still living."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Undecimo, bigamia.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I also took a third, fourth, fifth and sixth wife."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Eodem numero trigamia, polygamia.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I murdered a king."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo secundo, regicidium.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I have been a pirate."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo tertia, pirateria.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I killed my first wife."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo quarto, uxoricidium.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I practiced conjuring."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo quinto, sorcellaria.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I have been in league with Satan."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo sexto, pactum diabolicum implicitum.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I have coined base money."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo septimo, adulterator monetarium.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I preached a new faith."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo octavo, hæresis schisma.</i>"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</a></span>Prisoner: "I have been a quack doctor."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Decimo nono, veneficus.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I betrayed a fortress intrusted to my guardianship."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Vigesimo, crimen traditorum.</i>"</p> + +<p>Prisoner: "I have eaten human flesh."</p> + +<p>Chair: "<i>Vigesimo primo, anthropophagia. Cannibalismus!</i>" cried the +mayor in a loud tone, bringing his fist with considerable force down +on the pandects lying before him on the table. The perspiration was +rolling in great beads over his forehead.</p> + +<p>The prisoner on the rack laughed heartily; but this time no one +laughed with him. The executioner had mistaken the chief's wink for a +signal to turn the wheel, which he did, and the sound which came from +the victim's throat was a strange mixture of merriment and agony—as +if he were being tickled and strangled at the same moment.</p> + +<p>What the chief's dictation was really intended to signify was that the +proceedings were concluded for the day; that the accused should be +released from the rack and taken back to his dungeon.</p> + +<p>It was a most unusual case—unique in the annals of the criminal +court. Never before had a prisoner acknowledged himself guilty of, or +accessory to, so many crimes. It was the first time such a combination +of misdemeanors had come before the tribunal. The accused would +certainly have to be tried without mercy; no extenuating circumstances +would be allowed to interfere with justice.</p> + +<p>The prince was extremely interested in the case.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</a></span> He was curious to +learn the coherence between the individual transgressions, in what +manner one led to the other, and gave orders that the trial should not +be resumed the next day until he should arrive in court.</p> + +<p>The prisoner had cause for laughter. Before his confession reached its +conclusion, before he could relate the history of his one-and-twenty +crimes, the Frenchmen would capture Coblentz and release him from +imprisonment and death.</p> + +<p>But one may laugh too soon!</p> + +<p>What was to be done with this fellow?</p> + +<p>That the death penalty was his just desert was unquestionable; but in +what manner should it be imposed? Had he confessed only the crime for +which he was now under arrest—treason—the matter might be settled +easily enough: he would be shot in the back. But with so many +transgressions to complicate the matter it was going to be difficult +exceedingly to pronounce judgment.</p> + +<p>For instance: the wheel is the punishment for robbery; the polygamist +must be divided into as many portions as he has wives; the regicide +must be torn asunder by four horses. But how are you going to carry +out the last penalty if the accused has already been carved into six +portions? Also, it is decreed that the right hand of a forger be cut +off; the servitor of Satan must suffer death by fire. But if the +accused has been consumed by flames, how will it be possible to bray +him to pulp in a mortar for having committed uxoricide? or, how carry +out the commands of the law<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</a></span> which prescribes death by starvation for +the wretch who is guilty of cannibalism?</p> + +<p>After much deliberation the prince, with the wisdom of a Solomon, +decided as follows:</p> + +<p>"The prisoner, who is arraigned at the bar for treason, having +confessed to twenty-one other transgressions, shall relate to the +court a detailed account of each individual crime, after which he +shall be sentenced according to the crime or crimes found by the +judges to be the most heinous."</p> + +<p>This decision was perfectly satisfactory to the mayor; and the judges +gave it as their opinion that, as the accused would require all his +strength for so prolonged an examination, it would be advisable to +substitute the torture by water for that of the rack, as was first +decided.</p> + +<p>"No! no!" objected the prince. "The man who is forced to drink nothing +but water is not in the mood to relate adventures (I know that by +experience!) Let the prisoner be subjected to mental torture. Sentence +him at once to death, and when he is not before the tribunal let him +be shut up in the death-cell. The hours spent in that gloomy hole are +a torture sufficient to bring any criminal, however hardened he may +have become, to repentance. Besides, it will be a saving of expense to +the city. The curious citizens, who like to gape at a condemned +prisoner, will, out of compassion, supply this one also with food and +drink. When he has eaten and drunk his fill, we will have him brought +to the court-room. The man who has had all he wants to eat and drink +is talkative!"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</a></span>The judges concurred with his highness; but the mayor growled in a +dissatisfied tone:</p> + +<p>"This knave, who confesses to having committed twenty-one crimes in +addition to the treachery in which we detected him, will, by the +decision of his highness, fare better than his judges, who have +learned during the siege what it is to hunger and thirst."</p> + +<p>To which the syndic responded consolingly:</p> + +<p>"Never mind, god-father! Let the poor wretch gormandize between the +rack and the gallows. Remember the old saw: 'Today, I—tomorrow, +you.'"</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_II" id="PART_II"></a>PART II.</h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_II_I" id="CHAPTER_II_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">WITH THE ROBBERS—THE PRSJAKA CAVES.</span></h3> + + +<p>I was ensign in a regiment under command of General Melchior Hatzfeld +of the imperial forces. (Thus Hugo began his confession the next day +when he had been brought to the court-room from the death-cell.) My +conduct at that time was exemplary; I acquired so much skill in +handling fire-arms that, at the siege of Cracow, I was advanced to the +position of chief gunner of a battery.</p> + +<p>Cracow at that time was in the hands of George Rákóczy, prince of +Transylvania, who had leagued with Sweden to subdue Poland; and he +would most likely have succeeded had not the imperial army come to the +assistance of the Poles.</p> + +<p>I shall not dwell long on the siege of Cracow lest I awake in the +minds of the honorable gentlemen of the court a suspicion that, by +relating incidents not immediately connected with my transgressions, I +am purposely prolonging my recital. I shall therefore speak only of +those occurrences which it will be necessary to mention in order to +explain why I committed the crimes of which I am guilty. While with +the army<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</a></span> before Cracow I made the acquaintance of the daughter of a +Polish noble. The young lady, who took a great fancy to me—I wasn't a +bad-looking youth in those days, your honors—was a charming creature +of sixteen years, with the most beautiful black eyes. If I remember +rightly her name was Marinka. She taught me how to speak her +language—and something else, too: how to love—the fatal passion +which has all my life been the cause of much of my trouble.</p> + +<p>During the siege my general frequently sent me to reconnoiter among +the Hungarian camps; and as I was a fearless youth, I would venture to +the very gates of the manor-houses in the neighborhood of Cracow. At +one of these houses I met my sweetheart; and after that, you may +guess, honored sirs, that it was not for the general's "yellow boys" +alone I risked my neck night after night. No, my little Marinka's +sparkling eyes were as alluring as the gold pieces; and I knew when I +set out on my nightly tour that my sweetheart would be waiting for me +at the gates of her father's place. But our secret meetings were at +last discovered. There was an old witch of a housekeeper who ferreted +out her young mistress' secret, and informed the old noble. One +moonlight night Marinka was teaching me in her own little cozy chamber +how to say: "<i>Kocham pana z calego zersa</i>"—which is "Mistress, I love +you with my whole heart,"—when we heard her father's heavy footsteps +ascending the staircase. I tell you I was frightened and said to +myself, "This is the end of you, my lad!" but Marinka whispered in my +ear<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</a></span>:</p> + +<p>"<i>Nebojsa!</i> (don't be afraid), go into the corridor, walk boldly +toward my father, and to whatever he may say to you, do you reply 'God +is One.'"</p> + +<p>Then she softly opened the door, pushed me into the corridor, closed +and locked the door behind me. The old gentleman was coming up the +stairs very slowly because of a lame leg which he had to drag after +him step by step. He had a square red face which I could see only +indistinctly above the burning lunt he carried in one hand, blowing it +continually to prevent it from going out. In the other hand he held a +musket. The blazing lunt must have blinded him, for he did not see me +until the muzzle of the musket came in contact with my breast. Then he +stopped and cried in a stern voice:</p> + +<p>"<i>Kto tam? Stoj!</i>" (Who are you? Stand!)</p> + +<p>"God is One," I made answer. What else could I have said? The old +gentleman's aggressive mien changed at once. He became quite friendly; +he extinguished the lunt by stamping on it with his foot, tapped my +shoulder in a confidential manner and called me little brother. Then +taking me by the arm he led me down the stairs to a room where a huge +fire was blazing on the hearth. Here he bade me seat myself on a +settee covered with a bear skin and placed before me an English flagon +of spirits. After he had arranged everything for my comfort he fetched +from a secret cupboard a small book—it was so small I could have +hidden it in the leg of my boot—and began to read to me all manner of +heretical phrases such as "There is no need for a Holy Trinity, +because the little which is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</a></span> done on earth in the name of God can +easily be done by One alone."</p> + +<p>My hair stood on end as I listened to the sinful words and I found +what a trap I had fallen into. My Marinka's father was a Socinian, a +leader of the heretical sect, and he was trying to make a proselyte of +me.</p> + +<p>The doctrines of Blandrata had spread extensively throughout Poland, +but, owing to the persecution of its adherents, they could meet and +work only in secret. The old noble's manor was one of their retreats, +where recent converts were received for instruction. When the old +gentleman believed he had enlightened me sufficiently he produced a +heavy volume, bade me lay my right hand on it and repeat after him the +vows of the society.</p> + +<p>You may believe I was in a dilemma!</p> + +<p>If I refused to repeat the vows I should have to confess that I had +come to the manor for Marinka's sake, then the old noble would fetch +his musket and send me straightway to paradise. If, on the other hand, +I repeated the vows, then I was sure to journey to hades. Which was I +to choose?</p> + +<p>Should I elect to travel by extra-post, direct, without stopping, into +the kingdom of heaven, or should I journey leisurely by a circuitous +route, with frequent halts, to hades?</p> + +<p>I was a mere lad; I was sorry for my pretty curly head—I chose the +latter alternative!</p> + +<p>From that time I became a daily visitor in the retreat of the +followers of Socinus. Being a neophyte I was permitted to take part in +their meetings only<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</a></span> during the singing; when the sermon began I was +sent to the gates to guard against a surprise. This was a welcome +duty; for, once outside the house, all thought of taking up my station +at the gates would leave me and, instead, I would climb the tree which +grew close to my Marinka's window, swing myself by a branch into her +room, in which she was kept a prisoner by her father to prevent our +meeting; and there, while the sages below-stairs expounded the dogma +of the unity of God, we two ignorant young people demonstrated how two +human hearts can become as one.</p> + +<p>One day our little community received an unexpected addition to its +membership. There arrived from Cracow a troop of Hungarian soldiers +who announced themselves as followers of Socinus. They received a +hospitable welcome from the old noble, whom they overwhelmed with joy +by telling him the prince of Transylvania had become an adherent of +Socinus; that his highness had averred that, were he the King of +Poland, all persecution of the heretics should cease at once and that +some of the churches should be given over to them for their worship.</p> + +<p>When I repeated this piece of news to my general he became so excited +he sprang from his seat—his head almost struck the roof of the +tent—and shouted: "It is perfectly outrageous how those Hungarians +will stoop to base methods in order to win allies! If they succeed in +inveigling the Polish Socinians to their ranks then we may as well +stop trying to get them out of Poland!"</p> + +<p>Fortunately, however, there arose dissensions<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</a></span> between the Hungarian +and the Polish adherents of Socinus. I must mention here, in order to +explain how I became cognizant of the facts I am about to relate, that +Marinka's father had begun to suspect me. Instead of sending me to +stand guard at the gates when the sermon began, I was permitted to +hear it and take part in the disputations.</p> + +<p>The Hungarian troopers maintained that it was the duty of all pious +Socinians to commemorate, at every one of their meetings, the death of +the Savior by drinking wine; and they were so extremely devout that an +entire quarter-cask of their host's best Tokay was emptied at every +celebration. After the meetings, when the old noble would lift and +shake the empty wine-cask, I could read in his countenance signs that +heterodoxy was gradually taking root in him. At first he contented +himself with remonstrating against the frequency of the celebration; +surely it ought to satisfy the most devout member of the sect to +observe the ceremony on Sundays, and holy days. But the troopers met +his arguments with scriptural authority for their practices.</p> + +<p>Then the old gentleman, finding his remonstrances of no avail, made an +assault upon the dogma itself. He delivered an impassioned address in +which he sought to disprove the divinity of Jesus. To this blasphemous +assertion the Magyars made reply:</p> + +<p>"If what you say be true, then He was the son of an honest man, and a +good man Himself. Therefore, it is meet and right for us to show Him +all honor and respect." And another quarter-cask was brought from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</a></span> the +cellar. The old noble became daily more fanatical in his assaults upon +the tenets to which he had so devoutly adhered before the accession to +his little congregation of the Hungarian troopers; and, at last +declared that Jesus was a Jew; that He deserved to be put to death, +because He had promulgated the unjust law of taxation. But not even +this fearful blasphemy deterred the Hungarians from their frequent +celebrations. They said:</p> + +<p>"If the Nazarene is so unworthy, then it is our plain duty to shed His +blood, the symbol of which is wine—"</p> + +<p>"Tremendously clever fellows, those Magyars!" here interrupted the +prince.</p> + +<p>"They were impious devils!" exclaimed the mayor reprovingly. "Impious +devils!"</p> + +<p>"<i>Habet rectum</i>," responded his highness. Then to the prisoner: +"Continue, my son."</p> + +<p>Hugo resumed his confession:</p> + +<p>When the last cask was brought from the cellar the old noble declared +to his congregation that the entire story of the Divine birth was a +myth invented by the priests—</p> + +<p>"And you took part in those blasphemous meetings?" sternly interrupted +the mayor.</p> + +<p>No, indeed, your honor! That is a crime of which I am guiltless. I +never said one word; and escaped from the meetings whenever I could +manage to do so. I had determined to flee with Marinka from the sinful +community. Our plan was: I was to steal from the meeting on a certain +night, assist my pretty Marinka to descend from her room by means of +the tree outside<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[Pg 32]</a></span> her window and then set fire to the sheep-stables. +The conflagration would scatter the blasphemers; everybody would run +to the stables to release the horses, and in the general confusion +Marinka would hastily secure as many of the family jewels as could be +packed into a portmanteau. Then she and I would mount two of the freed +horses and gallop straightway to my camp, where I would introduce her +as my wife—</p> + +<p>"A pious idea, certainly," commented the prince.</p> + +<p>"How can your highness say so!" in a tone of reproof, exclaimed the +mayor. "It was incendiarism pure and simple: <i>Incendiarii ambitiosi +comburantur</i>; and further: <i>raptus decem juvencis puniatur</i>, and +<i>rapina palu affigatur</i>."</p> + +<p>"Very well, then," assented his highness. "My son, for the +incendiarism you shall be burned at the stake; for the rape of the +maid you shall pay a fine of ten calves; for the theft of the jewels, +the punishment is impalement. Continue."</p> + +<p>Unfortunately, resumed the prisoner, our plans miscarried, through the +intermeddling of the old housekeeper I spoke of. Her suspicions had +been aroused by Marinka's preparations for flight; she informed the +old noble, who set spies to watch me. I was caught in the act of +firing the stables and was flogged with hazel rods until I confessed +that I was a spy from the enemy's camp. The old noble wanted to bind +me to the well-sweep; but one of the Hungarian troopers took +compassion on me and offered to buy me for sixteen Polish groschen. +His offer was accepted; I was sold to him and taken to Cracow. I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[Pg 33]</a></span> +should not have had such a hard time as a slave had I not been +compelled to grind all the pepper used in the Hungarian army. I ground +enormous quantities, for the Magyars like all their food strongly +seasoned with the condiment. My eyes were red constantly; my nose was +swollen to the size of a cucumber. The only other complaint I had to +make was that my master compelled me to eat everything that was set +before me. He would say, when he placed before me enough for three +men:</p> + +<p>"You shall not be able to say that you hungered while you were my +slave."</p> + +<p>When I had eaten until I could not swallow another morsel, my master +would seize me by the shoulders, shake me as one shakes a full bag in +order to get more into it, and he would repeat the operation until the +contents of every dish had been emptied into me. I used to sicken at +the approach of meal-times, and whenever I saw the huge spoon—twice +the size of my mouth—with which the food was ladled into me. Your +honors will hardly believe that there is no greater torture than to be +stuffed with food—</p> + +<p>"We have never tried that method," remarked the prince.</p> + +<p>"Nor are we likely to test it very soon," supplemented the mayor, with +a grim expression on his countenance.</p> + +<p>I yearned to be released from my unpleasant situation, resumed the +prisoner. For the first time I realized the enormity of the +transgression I had committed in joining the Socinian Community. Now +I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[Pg 34]</a></span> had no one to intercede for me with the Supreme Ruler of the earth. +Had I become a Mussulman I should have had Mohammed; had I adopted the +Jewish faith I should have been able to call to my aid Abraham, or +some one of the other fathers in Israel. But I had no one. However, my +desire to be released from the tortures of food-stuffing and +pepper-grinding was at last fulfilled; I was captured, together with +the entire Hungarian army, by the Tartars—</p> + +<p>"Hold! hold!" interrupted the chair. "You must not tell untruths. You +forget that you were in Poland. The Tartars could not have fallen from +the sky."</p> + +<p>I was about to explain how they came to be at Cracow when your honor +interrupted me. It was this way: His Majesty, the Sultan of Turkey, +who had become angry because his vassal, George Rákóczy, prince of +Transylvania, had presumed to aspire to the crown of Poland, had +commanded the khan of Crim-Tartary to attack the Hungarians with +100,000 cavalry. The khan obeyed. He devastated Transylvania in his +march, surrounded the Hungarian army in Poland and captured every man +jack of them—</p> + +<p>"The explanation is satisfactory," enunciated the prince. "It was easy +enough for the Tartars to appear at Cracow."</p> + +<p>Yes, your highness; but I wish they hadn't, continued the accused. No +one regretted it more bitterly than did I. After the capture of the +Transylvanian army by the Tartars the victors divided the spoils as +follows: The commanding officers took possession of all the valuables; +the under-officers took the prisoners'<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[Pg 35]</a></span> horses; the captives +themselves were sold to the common soldiers, each of whom bought as +many slaves as he had money to spare.</p> + +<p>My former master was sold for five groschen; my broad shoulders +brought a higher price—nine groschen. The same Tartar—an ugly, +filthy little rascal for whom I would not have paid two +groschen—bought my master and me.</p> + +<p>The first thing our Tartar master did was to strip us of our good +clothes and put on us his own rags. He couldn't talk to us, as we did +not understand his language; but he managed in a very clever manner to +convey his meaning to us. He examined the material of which our shirts +were made—the Hungarian's was of fine, mine of coarse homespun linen, +and concluded that one of us was a man of means—the other a poor +devil.</p> + +<p>Then he took from his purse a gold coin, held it in his open palm +toward the Hungarian, while with the other hand he hung a rope of +horse-hair around his captive's neck. Then he closed his fingers over +the coin, opened them again, at the same time drawing the rope more +tightly about the captive's neck.</p> + +<p>This pantomime signified: "How many coins like this gold one will your +friends pay to ransom you?"</p> + +<p>The Hungarian closed and opened his fist ten times to indicate "one +hundred."</p> + +<p>The Tartar brought his teeth together, which was meant to say, "not +enough."</p> + +<p>Then the Hungarian indicated as before, "two hundred," whereupon the +Tartar placed the end of the rope<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[Pg 36]</a></span> in the captive's hand—he was +satisfied with the ransom. Then came my turn. How much ransom would be +paid for me? I shook my head to indicate "nothing;" but in Tartary, to +shake one's head means consent. The little fellow smiled, and wanted +to know "how much?"</p> + +<p>Not knowing how else to express my meaning, I spat in his palm, which +he understood. He put the gold coin back into his purse, took out a +silver one and held it toward me. I treated it as I had the gold coin. +Then he produced a copper coin; but I indicated with such emphasis +that not even so small a sum would be paid for me that he raised his +whip and gave me a sound cut over the shoulders. The Tartars then set +out on their return to Tartary. My former master and I were bound +together and driven on foot in front of our owner.</p> + +<p>How forcibly my sainted grandmother's words, "He that reviles his +Savior will be turned into an ass," came home to me when I was given +dried beans to eat—the sort we feed to asses at home. Dried beans +every meal, and my Tartar master did not think it necessary to stuff +into me what I could not eat. What were left at one meal were served +up again the next. Still more forcibly were my grandam's words +impressed on my mind when, the fifth day of our journey, I became a +veritable beast of burden. My Hungarian yoke-fellow declared his feet +were so sore he could go no farther. His was certainly a weighty body +to drag over the rough roads, especially as he had never been +accustomed to travel on foot <i>per pedes apostolorum</i>.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[Pg 37]</a></span> The little +Tartar became alarmed; he feared he might lose the ransom if he left +his rich captive behind, so he alighted from his horse, examined the +Hungarian's feet and ordered him to get into the saddle. Then my feet +were examined, and I imagined I too was to be given a mount. But I was +mistaken. Before I could guess what he intended the little Tartar was +seated astride my shoulders, with his feet crossed over my breast, and +his hands clutching my hair for reins.</p> + +<p>Luckily for me it was a lean little snips, not much heavier than the +soldier's knapsack I was accustomed to carrying. It would have been +worse had the Hungarian been saddled on my shoulders. That gentleman +was greatly amused by the turn affairs had taken, and from his seat on +our master's horse made all manner of fun of me.</p> + +<p>He ridiculed my prayers, said they were of no avail where the enemy +was concerned; that a hearty curse would give me more relief. I tell +you he was a master of malediction! There was an imprecation he used +to repeat so often that I remember it to this hour. I will repeat it +for you—it is in that fearful Magyar lingo: "<i>Tarka kutya tarka +magasra kutyorodott kaeskaringós farka!</i>"<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a></p> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> The imprecation is really quite harmless, as are many +other of the dreadful things attributed to the Magyars. It is, +literally: "The spotted dog's straight upright spotted +tail."—Translator's observation.</p></div> + +<p>"Hold!" commanded the prince. "That sounds like an incantation."</p> + +<p>"Like 'abraxas,' or 'ablanathanalba,'" added the mayor, shuddering. +"We must make a note of it; the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[Pg 38]</a></span> court astronomer may, with the +assistance of the professors, be able to tell us its portent."</p> + +<p>When the notary had taken down the imprecation, his highness, the +prince, said to the prisoner:</p> + +<p>"Continue, my son. How long were you compelled to remain in that +deplorable condition of slavery?"</p> + +<p>One day, resumed the accused, while I was fervently praying that +heaven, or Satan, would relieve me from my ignominious situation, we +turned into an oak forest. We had hardly got well into it, when, with +a fearful noise, as if heaven and earth were crashing together, the +huge trees came toppling over on us, burying the entire vanguard of +the Tartar horde, together with their captives, under the trunks and +branches.</p> + +<p>Every one of the trees in the forest had been sawn clear through the +trunk, but left standing upright, thus forming a horrible trap for the +Tartars. The first tree that toppled over, of course, threw over the +one against which it fell, that one in turn throwing over the next +one, and so on until the entire wood was laid low.</p> + +<p>My Tartar rider and I were crushed to the earth by the same tree. It +was fortunate for me that I had him on my back, for he received the +full force of the falling tree; his head was crushed, while mine was +so firmly wedged between his knees I couldn't move. The horrible noise +and confusion robbed me of my senses; I became unconscious. It is, +therefore, impossible for me to tell how I escaped with my life. I +only know that when I came to my senses I found myself in the camp of +the "Haidemaken," a company of thieves and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[Pg 39]</a></span> murderers, made up of all +nationalities, the worst of all the robber bands that infested the +country. The members were the outcasts of every land—the flower of +the gallows. When inflamed with wine, they fought each other with +axes; settled all disputes with knife and club. He who had become +notorious for the worst crimes was welcomed to their ranks; the +boldest, the most reckless dare-devil, became their leader. They would +release condemned criminals, often appearing as if sprung from the +earth at the place of execution, bear away the miscreants, who, +naturally, became members of the band.</p> + +<p>Was a pretty woman condemned to the stake for violation of the +marriage vow or for witchcraft, the haidemaken would be on hand before +the match was applied to the faggots, and bear away the fair culprit. +In a word, the haidemaken were the hope, the comfort, the providence +of every miscreant that trembled in shackles.</p> + +<p>The band claimed no country as fatherland. Every wilderness, every +savage ravine, from the Matra mountains to the Volga, offered them a +secure retreat. They knew no laws save the commands of their leader, +which were obeyed to the letter. None kept for himself his stealings; +all booty was delivered into the hands of the leader, who divided it +equally among the members of the band.</p> + +<p>To him who, through special valor, deserved special reward, was given +the prettiest woman rescued from the stake, the dungeon, the rack.</p> + +<p>Where the haidemaken set up their camp, the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[Pg 40]</a></span> Roman king, the prince of +Transylvania, the Wallachian woiwode, the king of Poland, the hetman +of the Cossacks, ruled only in name. The leader of the robbers alone +was the law-giver; he alone levied taxes, exacted duties.</p> + +<p>The trading caravans passing from Turkey to Warsaw, if they were wise, +paid without a murmur the duty levied by the haidemaken, who would +then give the traders safe conduct through all the dangerous forests, +over suspicious mountain passes, so that not a hair of their heads +would be hurt or a coin in their purses touched.</p> + +<p>If, on the other hand, the caravan leaders were unwise, they would +employ a military escort. Then, woe to them! The robbers would lure +them into ambush, scatter the soldiers and plunder the caravan. He who +resisted would be put to death.</p> + +<p>There was constant war between certain nobles and the robbers. If the +band, however, could be brought to seal a compact of peace with an +individual or a community, it was kept sacred, inviolable, as we shall +see later.</p> + +<p>The haidemaken never entered a church unless they desired to secure +the treasures it contained. Yet, they numbered several priests among +their ranks. They were such as had been excommunicated for some +transgression.</p> + +<p>The band never set out on a predatory expedition without first +celebrating mass, and receiving a blessing from one of these +renegados. If the expedition proved to be successful, the priest would +share the spoils, and dance with the robbers to celebrate the +victory.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[Pg 41]</a></span>When one of the band took unto himself a wife, a renegado would +perform the marriage ceremony. The haidemaken were as great sticklers +for form as are the members of good society. To abduct a maid, or a +woman, was not considered a crime; but for one member to run away with +the wife of another was strictly prohibited.</p> + +<p>They did not erect strongholds, for they knew where to hide in +mountain caverns and in morasses, from which no human power could +drive them.</p> + +<p>In their various retreats they had stores of food, enough to stand a +siege for many months. How great was their daring is best illustrated +by the plot which threw me into their power. The prince of +Transylvania had invaded Poland with an army of 20,000 men. This army +was captured by the Tartar khan with his 80,000 men. Four hundred of +the robbers laid in wait for this combined force, and slaughtered the +vanguard of 2,000 men in the oak forest, as I have described.</p> + +<p>When I opened my eyes after the catastrophe, I was lying on a bundle +of faggots on the bank of a purling brook. By my side stood a gigantic +fellow, with a hideous red face—compared to him the Herr Mayor, +there, is a very St. Martin!—his beard and eyebrows were also red, +but of a lighter shade. His nose was cleft lengthwise—a sign that he +had had to do with the Russian administration of justice. He had the +muscles of a St. Christopher.</p> + +<p>At a little distance apart stood a group of similar figures, but none +was so repulsive in appearance as the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[Pg 42]</a></span> giant by my side. He was +leaning on his sword, looking down at me, and when he saw my eyes open +he said, or rather bellowed, for his voice was more like the sound +that comes from the throat of a bull:</p> + +<p>"Well, young fellow, are you alive? Can you get up on your knees? If +so, swear that you will join our band, or I'll fling you out yonder +whence I brought you, to perish with the rest of your comrades."</p> + +<p>I had heard many fearful tales of the dreaded haidemaken, and knew +them to be capable of any atrocity. Moreover, I was indifferent as to +what became of me, so I said I would join the band if my life were +spared.</p> + +<p>"What are you?" then asked the red one, who was the leader of the +band, "peasant or noble?"</p> + +<p>I was not lying when I answered that I was as poor a devil as ever +caught flies to satisfy a craving for food.</p> + +<p>"That is well," returned the leader, "we have no use for nobles in our +ranks. You shall stand the test at once." He blew a whistle, and two +sturdy ruffians dragged from a cave nearby the loveliest maid I had +ever set eyes on. Her complexion was of milk and roses; every virtue +beamed in her gentle countenance. I can see her now, with her golden +hair falling to her ankles—and she was very tall for a woman.</p> + +<p>"Now lad," continued the leader, "we shall see how you stand the test. +You are to cut off this maid's head. She is the daughter of a noble, +whom we stole for a ransom; and, as her people have seen fit to ignore +our demands, she must die. Here, take this sword, and do as you are +bid."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[Pg 43]</a></span>He handed me his sword, which was so heavy I could lift it only by +grasping it with both hands.</p> + +<p>The maid knelt in the grass at my feet, bent meekly forward, and +parted her beautiful hair at the back of her snowy neck, so that I +might the more easily strike the fatal blow.</p> + +<p>But I didn't do anything of the sort!</p> + +<p>Instead, I flung the sword at the feet of the leader and cried:</p> + +<p>"Go to perdition, you red devil! You may devour me alive—I won't harm +a hair of this pretty child's head."</p> + +<p>"Ho-ho," bellowed the red one, "you have betrayed yourself, my lad! +Were you a peasant you would cut off the girl's head rather than lose +your own. You are a noble—you would rather die yourself than harm a +woman. Very well; so be it! On your knees! The maid will show you how +to cut off a head at one blow. She is my own daughter."</p> + +<p>He handed the sword to the maid, who had risen to her feet and was +laughing at me. She took the heavy weapon in one hand and swung it as +lightly as if it had been a hazel rod, several times about her head. I +have always been fortunate enough to be able to command my feelings, +no matter what the situation; no matter how extreme the danger, I +never allow myself to yield to fear.</p> + +<p>I looked at the wonderful maid confronting me with mocking eyes, her +white teeth gleaming between her red lips, her beautiful hair shining +like gold.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[Pg 44]</a></span>"Kneel!" she cried, stamping her foot. "Kneel and say your prayers."</p> + +<p>A faint-hearted fellow would, most likely, have lost courage; but, as +I said before, I had never made the acquaintance of fear. So I +laughed, and said: "I am not going to kneel; and I am not going to +pray. I don't want to part with my head, I have too much need of it +myself." Then I turned boldly toward her father, and addressed him: +"Captain, I want to marry your daughter," I said. "Let me serve under +you for one year, and, if at the end of that time I have not proved +myself worthy to be your son-in-law, you may cut off my head, and +welcome!"</p> + +<p>The robber chief received this daring speech with a grin that was like +the grimace of a hungry wolf preparing to devour a lamb.</p> + +<p>"Fellow, do you know what you ask?" he bellowed. "The suitor for the +hand of my daughter is tortured to death by that hand if he fails to +perform the tasks she sets for him."</p> + +<p>"All right!" I returned jauntily, "you needn't give yourself any +trouble about me."</p> + +<p>He held out his hand; I gave him mine, and the pressure it received in +the powerful grasp was so severe that the blood spurted from under the +finger-nails. But I did not betray by look or sign how badly it hurt +me. Nay, I even gave a playful pinch with the crushed fingers to the +cheek of the golden-haired maid and received from her in return a +sound slap on my hand.</p> + +<p>I could see that my behavior won favor in the eyes<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[Pg 45]</a></span> of the robbers. +But we had little time for merry-making. The main body of the Tartar +army now drew near, and we were face to face with an infuriated enemy +outnumbering our band a hundred to one.</p> + +<p>In face of the extreme danger which threatened, our leader remained +calm. At a signal from him, his men with lightning speed set fire in +fifty different places to the fallen trees, among which a considerable +number of the vanguard, who had not been crushed to death, were +hiding.</p> + +<p>Of course the poor wretches, Tartars and captives alike, were consumed +in the flames; we could hear their shrieks of agony when we were half +way up the mountain, to which we had made our escape.</p> + +<p>The Tartar army not being able to follow us, because of the burning +forest, made our escape easy; and, by the time the trees had been +reduced to ashes, we were far enough away, and in a place of safety.</p> + +<p>Instead of giving me weapons to carry, I was compelled to continue in +the role of beast of burden; a heavy bag of treasure was strapped on +my back. We marched until the next morning. The haidemaken travelled +only by night, consequently they were familiar with all roads and +mountain passes.</p> + +<p>When day broke we halted to rest and partake of a scanty meal. While +we were eating, the leader asked me my name, and I gave him the first +one that came into my head: "Jaroslaw Terguko," which was the name of +Marinka's father. If I couldn't steal anything else from him I could +at least steal his name?</p> + +<p>Late in the afternoon we set out again on our<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[Pg 46]</a></span> journey, which led us +over rugged paths and through savage gorges where no signs of human +life were to be seen. At last we entered a deep defile between two +mountain spurs. The walls of rock on either side seemed, with their +projections and hollows, as if they might once have been joined +together. They were nearer together at the top than at the base, and +when I looked up at the narrow strip of sky far, far above me, I had a +sensation as if the two walls were coming together. In this almost +inaccessible defile was the chief retreat of the haidemaken. It was a +stronghold that could successfully defy all human assaults.</p> + +<p>In the south wall, about twenty yards from the base, yawns the mouth +of a huge cavern.</p> + +<p>At that point the wall is so steep, and inclines forward to such a +degree, that access to the cavern cannot be gained by means of a +ladder. The robbers, however, had contrived a clever hoisting +apparatus.</p> + +<p>From the top of the opposite wall a mountain brook had once leaped +into the defile, to continue its way over the rocky bed into the +valley.</p> + +<p>When the haidemaken first established themselves in the cavern, it +happened frequently that they would be blockaded in their retreat by +the nobles and their followers, who had pursued the predatory band to +the defile.</p> + +<p>At such times the robbers suffered greatly from the scarcity of fresh +water, especially if they chanced to be out of wine. Therefore, they +conceived the plan of conducting the brook from the opposing wall into +the cavern through a stout oaken gutter, and the water at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[Pg 47]</a></span> the same +time served to turn a series of wheels. Over one of the wheels ran a +stout iron chain, to which were securely attached several large +baskets; and so skillfully was the apparatus manipulated that the +entire band might be hoisted into, or let down from, the cavern in the +short space of two hours. It was a most admirable contrivance for the +robbers, but not so admirable for the dwellers in the valley. The +intercepted brook now flowed into the cave, and, as the water did not +fill the cave, the most natural conclusion was that it found an outlet +through various subterranean fissures.</p> + +<p>The turning of the water from its original channel caused Prince +Siniarsky considerable inconvenience, in that all his saw-mills, +flour-mills and leather factory were left without a motor; while the +inhabitants of the surrounding hamlets, who were dependent on their +looms for a livelihood, were compelled to remove to another region, +because they now were unable to bleach the linen.</p> + +<p>Still greater was the misfortune which had overtaken Count Potocky. He +was the owner of extensive salt mines on the further side of the +mountain, which contains an illimitable deposit of the saliferous +substance. The haidemaken were unable to drink the water of the +lakelet in the bottom of their cavern, because of its saline +character.</p> + +<p>After the course of the brook had been changed, the worthy Count +Potocky discovered one day that innumerable springs of fresh water +were bursting from his side of the mountain, and flooding his most +profitable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[Pg 48]</a></span> mines. If he attempted to obstruct the flow of water in +one place it would break out in another.</p> + +<p>At last the two magnates discovered the cause of the mischief, and +determined to oust the thievish haidemaken from their retreat by +fumigation. So long as the band confined their depredations to the +trading caravans they might be tolerated; but, when they became +insolent enough to interfere with the comfort and convenience of the +magnates, it was high time to put a stop to their pestiferous conduct!</p> + +<p>And so an expedition against the cavern was planned. Before it could +be carried out the war against the Transylvanians and Swedes broke +out, and the noble gentlemen were compelled to march with their +followers toward the invaders; but when hostilities ceased and the +succoring Tartars had returned home, a formal blockade of the robbers +was constituted.</p> + +<p>The entrance to their cavern, which is about as large as the door of +the cathedral at Coblentz, was fortified by a double parapet furnished +with loop-holes. The intercepted brook did not pour its waters into +the main entrance, but into a side opening, underneath which was the +hoisting wheel. This wheel also turned the mill-stone, which ground +the rye used by the robbers.</p> + +<p>The band included a miller as well as a smith, a shoemaker and a +tailor. As it is dark in the cave, all work was performed by +torchlight. Where all the torches used in the cavern were procured I +learned afterward.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[Pg 49]</a></span>The fore part of the cavern, into which the rays of the blessed sun +penetrate as far as the opposite wall permits, is like a vaulted hall. +In it were stored the weapons: all manner of fire-arms, all patterns +of cutting, thrusting and hurling implements, which had been purloined +from the armories of noble castles. Here, for the first time, I saw an +old-time culverin, rusty with age and for want of care. In this part +of the cavern were stored also the provisions in huge stone +receptacles—enough to feed four hundred men during a long siege.</p> + +<p>From the provision chamber a low, narrow passage leads to the +mill-cave, but, as I never entered it, I cannot tell you just what it +contained.</p> + +<p>The main cavern is spacious as a church. When the entire band were +assembled in the vast hall they were as lost in it. The arched roof is +so high above the floor it is invisible in the gloom, which not even +the light of many torches can dispel.</p> + +<p>From this hall numerous narrow passages and corridors lead to smaller +caves, in which the artisans of the band performed their labors. These +unfortunates certainly must have been captives; for it is hardly +possible that any man would, of his own free will, consent to pass his +life toiling in so gloomy a hole. When we arrived at the cavern the +leader asked me if I had a trade, and, as I could truthfully reply +that the only one I was perfectly familiar with was that of +bombardier, I did so.</p> + +<p>"Very good; you shall soon have an opportunity to prove that you +understand your trade as thoroughly as<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[Pg 50]</a></span> you say," he growled. "It is +not safe to boast here, my lad, and not be able to perform—as you +shall soon learn."</p> + +<p>Meanwhile the robbers had hoisted to the cavern the booty taken from +the Tartars. It was stored in one of the smaller chambers, into which +I merely got a glimpse, as they rolled the huge slab of granite from +the entrance, but that fleeting glance was enough to dazzle my eyes. +There were heaps on heaps of costly articles: robes, mantles, +vestments, richly embroidered with gold and precious gems, gold and +silver chalices, shrines, <i>ciboria</i>, pastoral staffs, and a host of +valuables too numerous to remember. Had the haidemaken only decided to +disband then, every one of them would have received a fortune as his +share of the plunder.</p> + +<p>It is not to be wondered at that such stores of gold and silver had +accumulated. The robbers never had occasion to need money.</p> + +<p>The provision chamber was filled with food and drink. Such quantities +of meat and bread were served that every man had all he wanted to eat, +while casks of metheglin were constantly on tap.</p> + +<p>The secret of this inexhaustible food supply was known only to the +leader and his daughter. No matter how much was taken from the +provision chamber, no decrease was ever noticeable.</p> + +<p>The first evening of our return, the successful expedition was +celebrated by a feast. After the robbers had eaten their fill, they +lighted a huge fire and danced wildly around it; and when they had +drunk all they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[Pg 51]</a></span> wanted, they gathered about their leader and his +daughter, who had taken their seats on an estrade draped with purple +cloth.</p> + +<p>Then a pale-faced young man was dragged into the hall and placed in +front of the leader.</p> + +<p>I saw now that a sort of trial was about to be held, a singular +tribunal, where the judge and the jury first get tipsy!</p> + +<p>"Jurko," said the leader to the youth, "you are accused of +cowardice—of having run away at the approach of the enemy; also, of +having neglected to give warning of the coming of the Tartars."</p> + +<p>"I am not guilty," responded the youth in defence. "You placed me on +guard to watch for the Tartars. Instead of the Tartars came wolves. +Ten of the beasts attacked me—maybe there were fifty. If I had +allowed the wolves to eat me, how could I have signaled to you? I +didn't run away—I hid in a hollow tree to defend myself—one against +fifty! I call that brave, not cowardly."</p> + +<p>"Silly chatter!" bellowed the leader. "No matter what happened, you +should have obeyed the command of your leader. If you are not the +coward you are accused of being, then prove it by standing the test."</p> + +<p>"That I will!" cried the youth, striking his breast with his fist.</p> + +<p>The leader rose, took his daughter's hand, stepped down from the +estrade, and, bidding his comrades follow, moved with the maid toward +the rear of the cavern, which, until now, had been buried in midnight +gloom.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[Pg 52]</a></span>Here the ground slopes steeply downward, and I could see by the light +of the torches that we were on the verge of an abyss, at the bottom of +which was water.</p> + +<p>The leader held a wisp of straw to a torch, then tossed it into the +abyss, which was lighted for a few seconds by the circling wreath of +blazing straw; but it was quite long enough for me to see the terrible +grandeur of the yawning gulf.</p> + +<p>After tossing the straw into the abyss, the leader snatched the red +and yellow striped silken kerchief from his daughter's neck, leaving +the lovely snow-white shoulders and bosom uncovered, and flung it also +into the abyss.</p> + +<p>"There, Jurko," he cried, "you have often boasted that you are the +bravest of our band, and you have aspired to the hand of my daughter +Madus. If you are what you pretend to be, fetch the bride's kerchief +from the lake down yonder."</p> + +<p>The youth stepped boldly enough to the rim of the yawning gulf, and +every one believed he was going to dive into it. But he halted on the +edge, leaned forward and peered down at the water far below. After a +moment's survey, he drew back, rubbed his ear with his fingers and +made a wry face.</p> + +<p>"Why don't you jump?" cried his comrades, tauntingly.</p> + +<p>Jurko cautiously thrust one leg over the edge, bent forward and took +another look; then he drew back his leg and rose to his feet.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[Pg 53]</a></span>"The devil may jump into this hell for me!" he exclaimed; "there's no +getting out of it again for him who is fool enough to enter it!"</p> + +<p>"Ho, coward! coward!" derisively shouted his comrades, rushing upon +him. They disarmed him and dragged him by the hair toward a cleft in +the wall of the cavern, wide enough only to admit the body of a man. +This opening was closed by a block of granite that required the +combined strength of six men to move it. A lighted candle was placed +in the trembling youth's hand; then he was thrust into the rock-tomb, +and the granite door moved back to its place. The wild laughter of his +comrades drowned the shrieks of the victim who had been buried alive.</p> + +<p>Then followed the "dance of death," and I never witnessed anything +more terrifying. The lovely Madus feigned death and looked it, too! +and every member had to dance a turn with her. When it came my turn, +the leader said to me:</p> + +<p>"Hold, lad, you may not dance with Madus until you have become really +one of us—until you have stood the test. Moreover, you, too, presume +to aspire to the hand of my daughter."</p> + +<p>"Yes, I do!" I replied, "and I will do whatever I am bid."</p> + +<p>"Very good; the bride's kerchief lies down yonder in the lake; let us +see if you are courageous enough to go after it."</p> + +<p>"You surely did not undertake so foolhardy a task?" here interrupted +the prince; and the chair dictated to the notary as follows:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[Pg 54]</a></span>"Sinful tempting of providence, prompted by criminal desire for an +impure female."</p> + +<p>"Yes, your highness, I performed the task," continued Hugo, "but I beg +your honors not to register the leap as an additional transgression. I +am not responsible for it. I was compelled to jump or be buried alive +in the wall of the cavern. Besides, I knew the danger was not so great +as it appeared. When a boy, I once visited a salt mine. I had seen by +the light of the blazing straw that the walls of the abyss were formed +of the dark blue strata peculiar to salt mines, and guessed that the +lake was strongly impregnated with salt. I had also noticed on the +further wall of the abyss a flight of steps hewn in the rock, and +concluded that I had nothing to fear from drowning in the buoyant +water, if I reached it in safety. But, before I proceed farther, I +desire to enter a formal protest against the chair's designating my +beloved Madus an 'impure female.' She was pure and innocent—an angel +on earth, a saint in heaven. He that defames her must do battle with +me—my adversary in coat of mail, I in doublet of silk. The weapons: +lances, swords, or maces—whatever he may select; and I positively +refuse to proceed with my confession until his honor, the mayor, has +given me satisfaction, or amended the protocol."</p> + +<p>"Well, mayor," said the prince, addressing the chair, "I think the +prisoner is justified in his protest. Either you must amend the +protocol, or fight him."</p> + +<p>The former expedient was chosen, and the notary erased the latter +clause of the protocol. It read, when<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[Pg 55]</a></span> corrected: "Sinful temptation +of providence by chaste affection for a respectable maid."</p> + +<p>"Now, my son, you may jump."</p> + +<p>Hugo thanked the prince and resumed his confession:</p> + +<p>I pressed my ankles together, bent forward, and sprang, head foremost, +into the abyss. As I sped swiftly downward, there was a sound like +swelling thunder in my ears, then I became stone deaf, and the water +closed over me. My eyes and mouth told me it was salt water, and +whatever apprehension I had had vanished. The next moment I was +floating on the surface, my head and shoulders above the water. I soon +found the kerchief, which I tied about my neck, amid the acclamations +and cheers of my comrades, which were multiplied by the echoing walls +to the most infernal roaring. The torches held over the mouth of the +abyss gleamed through the darkness like a blood-red star in the +firmament of hades.</p> + +<p>A few vigorous strokes propelled me to the steps leading from the lake +to the upper gallery of the abyss, which is really an abandoned salt +mine.</p> + +<p>There are one hundred and eighty steps, but by taking two at a time I +reduced them to ninety; and three minutes after I had taken my leap, I +stood, encrusted from head to foot with salt—like a powdered +imp!—before my blushing Madus.</p> + +<p>She received me with a bashful smile when the robbers carried me on +their shoulders to her, and I was about to kiss her, when the leader +seized me by the collar and drew me back.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[Pg 56]</a></span>"Not yet, lad, not yet!" he cried. "You have only been through the +christening ceremony. Confirmation comes next. You must become a +member of our faith before you can become my daughter's husband. Every +man that marries a princess must adopt her belief."</p> + +<p>Now, as your honors may have guessed, the question of religion was one +I did not require much time to answer. I consented without a moment's +hesitation to adopt my Madus' faith. The leader then signed to one of +the band to prepare for the ceremony of confirmation. It was one of +the priests of whom I have spoken—I had taken particular notice of +him during the feast, because he ate and drank more than any one else.</p> + +<p>"He that becomes a member of our society"—the leader informed +me—"must take a different name from the one he has borne elsewhere. I +am called 'Nyedzviedz,' which signifies either 'the bear,' or 'without +equal.' What name shall we give you?"</p> + +<p>Some one suggested that, as I was an expert swimmer, I should be +called "Szczustak" (perch); another thought "Lyabedz" (swan), more +suitable and prettier, but I told them that, as I excelled most in +hurling bombs, "Baran" (ram), would be still more appropriate; and +Baran it was decided I should be called.</p> + +<p>In the meantime the robber priest had donned his vestments. On his +plentifully oiled hair rested a tall, gold-embroidered hat; over his +coarse peasant coat he had drawn a richly decorated cassock; his feet +were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[Pg 57]</a></span> thrust into a pair of slippers, also handsomely +embroidered—relics, obviously, of some gigantic saint; for the robber +priest's feet, from which he had not removed his boots, were quite +hidden in them. In his hands he held a silver crucifix; and as I +looked at him, the thought came to me that he had, without a doubt, +made way with the original wearer and bearer of the rich vestments, +and the crucifix.</p> + +<p>He ordered me to kneel before him. I did so, and he began to perform +all sorts of hocus-pocus over me. I couldn't understand a word of it, +for he spoke in Greek, and I had not yet become familiar with that +language. I learned it later.</p> + +<p>After mumbling over me for several minutes, he smeared some +ill-smelling ointment on my nose; then he fumigated me with incense +until I was almost suffocated. In concluding, when he bestowed on me +my new name, he gave me such a vigorous box on the ear, that it rang +for several seconds, and I almost fell backward. The blow was not +given with the hand of the priest, but with the sturdy fist of the +robber.</p> + +<p>This is carrying the joke too far, I said to myself; and, before the +ruffian could guess what I intended, I was on my feet, and had +delivered a right-hander on the side of his head that sent his gold +hat spinning across the floor, and himself, and his slippers after it.</p> + +<p>"<i>Actus majoris potentiae contra ecclesiasticam personam!</i>" dictated +the mayor to the notary; while his highness, the prince, held his +stomach, and laughed until the tears ran down his cheeks.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[Pg 58]</a></span>"I should like to have seen that performance!" he exclaimed when he +had got his breath again. "Did the padre excommunicate you?"</p> + +<p>Not much, he didn't, your highness! From that moment I became a person +of consequence among the haidemaken. The leader slapped me heartily on +the shoulder, and said approvingly:</p> + +<p>"You're the right sort, lad—we need no further proof."</p> + +<p>After a bumper all 'round, to celebrate my entrance to the community, +every man wrapped himself in his bear-skin, and lay down on the floor +of the cavern. Although the torches had been extinguished I could see, +by the faint light which penetrated from the entrance, that Madus +ascended a rope ladder to a deep hollow high up in the wall, and drew +the ladder up after her.</p> + +<p>In a very few minutes the snores from the four hundred robbers +proclaimed them oblivious to this work-a-day world.</p> + +<p>At day-break the watchman's horn brought every man to his feet; at the +same moment the leader appeared from an adjoining chamber, and gave to +each one his task for the day.</p> + +<p>After we had breakfasted, Nyedzviedz conducted me, in company with +Madus and several of the band, to the armory.</p> + +<p>"Here Baran," he said,—thrusting his foot against the culverin I +mentioned before—"you claim to be a skilled bombardier. Let us see if +you understand how to manage a thing like this. We stole it from +Count<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[Pg 59]</a></span> Potocky's castle, and brought it here with great difficulty. +Sixteen men would carry it two hundred steps, then other sixteen would +relieve them, and so on. We didn't find out until we had got it up +here that it would be of no use to us. The first time we tried to fire +it off—it lay on the ground as now—four men sat astride of it, as on +a horse, to steady it. I, myself, directed the shot toward the mouth +of the cavern, and three men stood behind me to observe operations. +When I applied the fuse, the infernal thing sprang into the air +flinging the four men astride it to the roof of the cave; while the +ball, instead of going where I had aimed—out of the +entrance—imbedded itself in the wall over yonder, where it still +sticks."</p> + +<p>I laughed heartily at his amusing description of the gun's behavior; +whereupon he said soberly:</p> + +<p>"Oh, you may laugh, but it was no laughing matter I can tell you! I +made a second attempt. I tied a rope around the rascal's neck to +prevent him from kicking again, and fastened the ends securely to two +stout pegs driven into the ground. 'There, sir,' I said, 'now kick if +you want to!' I lighted the fuse—the demon didn't kick this time; +instead he rushed backward dragging both pegs with him; broke the +right leg of one of the men, the left of another, and both legs of the +third; and the ball bored itself into the corner over there. Now let +us see if you can do any better."</p> + +<p>"Oh, you stupid bear!" I exclaimed, unable to restrain my mirth, "you +may thank your stars that the rusty old gun didn't burst into flinders +and kill every one of you!—as you deserved! The first thing to be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[Pg 60]</a></span> +done with the culverin is to clean and polish it until it shines like +a mirror. Then—who ever heard of laying a cannon on the ground to +fire it off?—it must have a sort of platform on wheels so it can be +moved about."</p> + +<p>The leader immediately gave orders to the smith and the wagon-maker of +the band to obey my instructions and complete as quickly as possible +the sort of gun-carriage I should describe to them, and I set about at +once to clean and scour the old culverin which, with the accumulated +rust of years, was no light task.</p> + +<p>There was no time to lose, for the Tartars, with their Hungarian +captives, having vacated Poland, the Polish magnates returned to their +castles, and prepared to carry out the plans for punishing the +insolent haidemaken, which had been interrupted by the war. Those +members of the band who were sent on various errands into the regions +adjacent to the Prsjaka Gorge, brought back, instead of booty, bloody +heads, and the startling news that the roads leading to the Gorge were +filled with armed troopers.</p> + +<p>The two despoiled magnates had combined their forces, and were +prepared for a regular siege of the plundering haidemaken.</p> + +<p>The latter, however, merely laughed at the warlike preparations. They +were not afraid of a siege! Nyedzviedz, on learning of the approach of +the beleaguerers, instead of curtailing our rations, doubled them, +mystifying all of us by the seemingly illimitable supplies in the +provision chamber. We received, every<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[Pg 61]</a></span> day, double rations of fresh +goats' meat and mutton, and yet there was not in any of the caves even +the sign of a living animal.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile the beleaguerers advanced steadily.</p> + +<p>There was a stratagem the robbers had frequently resorted to in order +to vanquish a beleaguering foe. They opened an underground sluice +through which the water of the salt lake in the bottom of the abyss +would rush into the defile and drown the enemy. But Prince Siniarsky's +troopers had become familiar with this trick; and one morning, when we +awoke, we found that a stone wall had been built across the gorge +while we slept. An arched opening in the center of the base would give +egress to all the water we might choose to let out of the lake.</p> + +<p>This was bad enough, but worse came later.</p> + +<p>The wall increased in height every night. I told Nyedzviedz at the +beginning what would be the outcome of such a proceeding; when the top +of the wall should have reached to the height of the wooden gutter +which conveyed the brook into the cavern, Siniarsky's men would fling +a line over it, attach a stout chain to the line, and when they had +drawn it over the gutter it would be easy enough to pull it down.</p> + +<p>"In that case we shall die of thirst," growled the leader, "for there +isn't any other water in the cavern fit to drink. But a still greater +danger, of which you know nothing, threatens us."</p> + +<p>He did not tell me what it was, but he became so morose and +ill-tempered, that no one but his daughter ventured to speak to him.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[Pg 62]</a></span>The haidemaken made several assaults on the wall, but the troopers +returned the fire with such volleys from the numerous loop-holes in +it, that our men were always forced to retreat.</p> + +<p>All hopes were now centered in me, and on the culverin, which I had +polished until it shone like gold. The carriage for it had been +completed, and balls cast under my directions.</p> + +<p>The wall grew higher and higher, until at last the top was on a level +with our conduit. Its completion was celebrated in the enemy's camp by +the blaring of trumpets, and beating of drums, and what I had foretold +came to pass; the arquebusier mounted to the top of the wall, adjusted +his arquebuse on its forked rest, and prepared to take aim at our +water conduit.</p> + +<p>"Now, watch me!" said I to Nyedzviedz, pointing the culverin's muzzle +toward the cornice of the wall.</p> + +<p>Two shots sounded simultaneously, and when the smoke had cleared away, +there was neither arquebuse, nor arquebusier—nor yet the cornice of +the wall, to be seen. All three had vanished.</p> + +<p>I took aim a second time—this time at the base of the wall; and at +the sixth shot, the entire structure of solid masonry tumbled down +with a deafening crash, burying under it the musketeers who were at +the loop-holes. Not one of them escaped alive.</p> + +<p>The haidemaken, with loud cries of triumph, now hastily descended from +the cavern in their baskets, and flung themselves on the enemy, and +while the combat raged in the defile below me, I wheeled my culverin +to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[Pg 63]</a></span> the mouth of the cavern, and hurled shot after shot toward the +troopers who were hurrying to the aid of their comrades.</p> + +<p>The enemy was completely routed, and our men returned to the cavern +richly laden with spoils.</p> + +<p>So all-powerful is a cannon when its management is thoroughly +understood.</p> + +<p>"That will do for today;" at this point observed the prince. "The +confession will be continued tomorrow."</p> + + +<p class="newsection">THE VISZPA OGROD.</p> + +<p>The next morning Hugo resumed his confession:</p> + +<p>When the haidemaken, after having put to flight the troopers returned +with their booty to the cavern, the leader said to me:</p> + +<p>"Well, Baran, you certainly earned your name today, by proving +yourself a most effective 'ram.' To your assaults with the culverin we +owe our victory. Here is the treasure we took from the vanquished +foe—take of it what you want, you have the first choice." Gold and +silver galore lay before me, but I answered: "Thank you, Nyedzviedz, +you know very well I have no use for money; instead, I want your +daughter—for her alone I have served you; she is the reward I +desire."</p> + +<p>To this reply the leader shook his head irritably, and said: "I am +disappointed in you, Baran. You are, after all, only a tender-hearted +dove that wants to bill and coo. The man who has a wife is only half a +man. The true haidemak embraces his sweetheart, then slays<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[Pg 64]</a></span> her—or +better: slays her first. Why do you desire to marry? Be wise, lad, and +remain a celibate. If you will think no more of Madus I will make you +my second in command."</p> + +<p>"But I can't, and won't think of anything but Madus," I returned, +stubbornly; "and if you don't give her to me, you are not a man of +your word."</p> + +<p>"You don't know what you are asking, Baran," again said the leader. +"If you persist in your demand you will compel me to send you the way +all our members have gone who proved themselves to be soft-hearted +doves. The man who wants to bill and coo cannot remain with us. If you +marry Madus you must leave us."</p> + +<p>I told him I would manage somehow to endure such a calamity, which +made him laugh heartily.</p> + +<p>"I know very well, Baran, my lad, that it would not grieve you to +leave us, if you were allowed to depart with Madus to the outside +world. But that may not be. The man we pronounce a 'dove,' must go a +different route. The youth who refused to leap into the abyss the day +you arrived, was a dove. You saw what became of him. A hundred and +more love-lorn swains, and cowards have gone the same way. You will +find in every crevice the skeletons of the unfortunates. Do you still +desire to join the ghastly company?"</p> + +<p>It did not sound very alluring—to celebrate one's nuptials among +cadavers; but when I looked at Madus, who was standing by her father's +side, the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[Pg 65]</a></span> glance which met mine from her beaming eyes banished from +my thoughts everything but her beautiful image, and I said:</p> + +<p>"It matters not whither I go if my Madus goes with me—be the journey +to hades itself!"</p> + +<p>When Madus also declared she had no dread of undertaking the journey +with me, her father summoned a priest—the same bearded rascal that +had performed the ceremony of confirmation over me.</p> + +<p>His vestments this time were even more magnificent—('acquired,' I +have not the least doubt, from some wealthy cathedral by my respected +father-in-law and his comrades) and with all manner of unintelligible +mummery he performed the ceremony, which united me and my beloved +Madus in the holy bonds of matrimony.</p> + +<p>When the marriage ceremony was concluded, my wife and I each received +from her father a costly, gold ornamented cap, and a richly +embroidered mantle; a bag of provisions, and a jug of wine were also +given to us. Then we were conducted to the same cleft in the wall of +the cavern, in which the unfortunate Jurko had been entombed.</p> + +<p>When the heavy rock had been removed from the opening the robbers, one +after the other, shook hands with us. The leader was so deeply +affected he embraced both of us. After a lighted taper had been placed +in my hand, we were thrust into the narrow passage which was +immediately closed behind us.</p> + +<p>The noises in the cavern sounded like the low murmur one hears in a +sea-shell held close to the ear. By<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[Pg 66]</a></span> the faint light from our taper I +could see a smile of encouragement on my Madus' face, and obeyed +without a question when she bade me follow her.</p> + +<p>We had forced our way through the narrow passage, which was hardly +wide enough for one person, a considerable distance, when we suddenly +came to a small chamber about the size of a room in a pleasant +cottage. Here, Madus said, we should have to rest and pass the night.</p> + +<p>"Night?" I repeated. "We can easily bring the blackness of midnight +upon us in this hole! We have only to extinguish the candle. But we +shall never know when it is morning. Daylight never enters here. No +cheerful cock-crow ever reaches this tomb. Here, no one will come to +rouse us, and say: 'Rise, rise! morning, beauteous morning, is come.'"</p> + +<p>"Fie, fie, Baran," chided my Madus. "Do you already regret the step +you have taken? Should you be sorry never again to see daylight—now +that you have me with you?"</p> + +<p>"No, no," I answered, promptly, ashamed of my momentary regret. "No, +no," and I set about preparing for our night's rest. We spread our +bear skins on the floor of the cave, sat down on them, and ate our +supper, becoming quite cheerful as the wine sped with pleasurable +warmth through our veins.</p> + +<p>Suddenly Madus turned toward me and asked:</p> + +<p>"Where do you imagine we are, Baran?"</p> + +<p>"In paradise," I made answer, kissing her.</p> + +<p>Thereupon she roguishly blew out the light and asked again: "Can you +see me?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[Pg 67]</a></span>"No," I answered, for I could see nothing at all. "Look again, Baran, +and repeat after me what I say."</p> + +<p>I fixed my eyes where I believed her to be, and repeated after her, +word for word, the Lord's Prayer, the <i>Ave Maria</i> and the <i>Credo</i>, and +as I did so, it seemed to me as if the dear child's countenance came +into view, gradually growing brighter and brighter, until the gloom +disappeared, and the subterranean grotto became irradiated as with the +sunlight of noon. I did not tell her so, though, for women are so +easily made vain; but from that moment I became convinced that Madus +was my guardian angel.</p> + +<p>Never, in all my life, have I been so happy as I was with my beloved +Madus in that underground cave, and I should have been content to stop +there with her until the end of time! I would not have inquired if +ever a morning would dawn again for us, had not Madus roused me from a +sound slumber, and lighted the taper.</p> + +<p>"What do you imagine will become of us?" she asked, and I replied:</p> + +<p>"I believe the haidemaken are playing a trick on us, and that they +will fetch us away from here after a while."</p> + +<p>"No, you are mistaken, Baran, we shall never again return to the +cavern. The haidemaken do not expect to see us again."</p> + +<p>"But, surely, Nyedzviedz will not allow his only daughter to perish +miserably in this hole?" I exclaimed.</p> + +<p>"Alas, you don't know him, my poor Baran," returned Madus sorrowfully. +"My father's heart is<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[Pg 68]</a></span> impervious to pity. Those whom he banishes, as +we have been banished, can never return to the cavern."</p> + +<p>I now became alarmed in earnest. Until that moment I had entertained a +suspicion that the haidemaken were only trying to frighten me.</p> + +<p>I was cursing my folly—mentally of course—for having allowed the +fascinations of a love-dream to lure me to so wretched a fate, when +Madus rose from her bear skin couch, and bade me follow her. I +remembered her radiant countenance of the preceding evening, and my +confidence in her was restored.</p> + +<p>We passed onward, through the narrow corridor which traversed numerous +caves, larger and smaller than the one in which we had rested. I kept +glancing furtively, right and left, expecting every moment to see the +helpless skeletons with which Nyedzviedz had tried to intimidate me.</p> + +<p>On, on we pressed, occasionally passing the entrance to a cave that +was stored with all manner of plunder. At last I noticed that the +corridor began to widen, and suddenly my soul was rejoiced to +discover, far ahead, a faint gleam of light that became brighter and +brighter as we approached. It was daylight!</p> + +<p>"Hurrah!" I shouted aloud, in my ecstacy clasping Madus to my heart. +"We are free! We are free!"</p> + +<p>"Free? No, my Baran, far from it!" she returned gently and sadly. "We +are approaching our life-prison. You will soon see it."</p> + +<p>The passage was now wide enough for the two of us to walk side by +side. We did not need the taper now, for we had sunlight from the +strip of blue sky<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[Pg 69]</a></span> we could see overhead. I pressed eagerly forward to +see more of it. I could have drunk in at one long breath the entire +heaven.</p> + +<p>At last we arrived at the end of the passage between the two tall +walls of rock, and there below us lay the Viszpa Ogrod, which means: +"Island Garden."</p> + +<p>And it is a veritable island; only, instead of water, it is +encompassed by rocks—rocks so high, and so steep, that nothing +wingless can ever hope to escape over them into the world outside.</p> + +<p>Heaven-towering walls of basalt, naked cliffs, sheer inaccessible, +dome-shaped, and truncated, ranged one against the other in a compact +mass like the facade of a vast cathedral, environ the Viszpa Ogrod, +which, with its verdant fields, forest, fruit and vegetable gardens, +lies like a gleaming emerald in a setting of rock, at the bottom of +the deep crater.</p> + +<p>From the dizzy heights of the cavern wall leaps a stream, that is +transformed to iridescent spray before it reaches the valley, there to +pursue its sinuous course amid the fields, gardens, and tiny white +dwellings upon which we looked down as through a misty veil.</p> + +<p>"That is our future home," whispered Madus. "Our life-prison from +which there is no escape. To this island garden is banished all those +haidemaken who prove too tender-hearted for their cruel trade, or tire +of their adventurous life; also those who refuse to desert the women +they love. Here, the banished dwell together and till the ground—they +will never again see any other portion of the globe than this little +valley."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[Pg 70]</a></span>The Viszpa Ogrod revealed the secret of the haidemaken's power to defy +a siege. This island garden made it possible for them to defy all the +troops sent against them, for it contained an inexhaustible supply of +provisions. When the robbers discovered it, it was a wilderness of +stunted fir trees. No living creature could exist in it, for there was +no water until the brook, conducted into the cavern from the opposite +side of the defile, found an outlet into it, thence, through the +ground, into Prince Siniarsky's salt mines.</p> + +<p>The water very soon wrought a wonderful change in the aspect of the +valley. A portion of the stunted forest was cleared, and the ground +planted with rye, vegetables, and various shrubs and plants which +throve luxuriantly in this "garden" sheltered from the cold winds by +the wall of rock. The firs left standing put forward new growth, and +became stately trees—everything, even the human beings that came to +dwell here, underwent a complete transformation.</p> + +<p>True, those whom the haidemaken sent to the valley had already become +tender-hearted, or, weary of the wild life of the robbers; but, no +matter what the life of a man had been before he became a member of +the little community in the island garden, there he would forget the +entire world, become an entirely new being.</p> + +<p>I speak from experience, for I, who have enjoyed a full share of this +world's pleasures—everything that can rejoice the king in his palace, +and the dreams of the prisoner in his dungeon—I never was truly happy +until I went to dwell with my beloved Madus in the Viszpa Ogrod.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[Pg 71]</a></span>A narrow path winds from the outlet of the rock-corridor down into the +valley. Madus, who was perfectly familiar with the path, led the way, +recognizing, while still at a distance from them, each occupant of the +little cottages. The children ran to meet us, and, on hearing from +Madus who I was, seized our hands, and with shouts of joy drew us +toward the village.</p> + +<p>A bell was rung to announce our arrival. Later I learned from the +inscription on this bell that it had formerly swung in the tower of +Bicloviez monastery. Like everything else in the valley, it had been +stolen. Everything, even the beautiful cloth and silk garments which +clothed the women—nay the women themselves, were plunder.</p> + +<p>Robber and robbed dwelt together amid plunder in harmony, happy as +Adam and Eve in Eden. They ploughed, planted, and gathered the harvest +in perfect contentment. They shared their abundance with the cavern, +and received in return plunder from all parts of the world.</p> + +<p>As I have said before, there were no animals in the Viszpa Ogrod when +the robbers discovered it, and as it was impossible to convey +full-grown cattle through the narrow passage from the cavern, calves, +goats, and lambs instead were brought to the valley, which had become +so well stocked with everything necessary to sustain a large army, +that no potentate on earth could have reduced the haidemaken to +starvation, no matter to what length the siege might have been +extended.</p> + +<p>The only danger which threatened the cavern was the stoppage of their +water supply. Were that cut off,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[Pg 72]</a></span> the luxuriance and fruitfulness of +the valley would vanish, and it would become again an arid wilderness +uninhabitable for man and beast. This was the danger dreaded by +Nyedzviedz when the troopers began to build their wall in the defile.</p> + +<p>The dwellers in the Viszpa Ogrod lived together like the family of +Father Abraham in the promised land. The eldest of the men was the +patriarch. He made all the laws; issued all the commands; allotted to +each one his task and share of the harvest, giving to everyone as much +as was required for the needs of himself and his household.</p> + +<p>There was no priest in the valley. There was no Sabbath. The pleasant +days were working-days; when it rained everybody rested.</p> + +<p>There was no praying, no cursing, no quarreling. There, where every +head of a household had once been a thief, no disputing about mine and +thine was ever heard. There, every woman—and not one of them had been +given an opportunity to vow fidelity to her mate before the altar, but +had been forcibly conveyed to the valley—was so faithful, so modest, +that no stranger could have told what was the color of her eyes.</p> + +<p>When Madus and I arrived in the valley, Zoraw, the patriarch, prepared +for us a feast, to which were invited the rest of the community to the +number of eighty. After the feast, Zoraw conducted us to the brook, +where we drank with everyone the pledge of fraternity from a wooden +bottle of fresh water—that being the only beverage in the valley. At +the conclusion of this<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[Pg 73]</a></span> ceremony, the bottle was broken in pieces, to +symbolize unalterable alliance.</p> + +<p>Then Zoraw measured off and assigned to us our plot of ground. The +entire community lent a hand, and in two days our cottage was under +roof, modestly furnished, and ready for occupancy. In the stable stood +a cow and a goat for the housewife. When we were comfortably settled +in our new home I was asked by the patriarch what manner of tools he +should give me; and finding that I should be compelled to +work—something I had never learned at school, or in the field—I +chose the trade of smith, which would at least give me the handling of +iron, without which I never felt contented.</p> + +<p>I became accustomed in a very short time to my new mode of life. I +would work at my trade the allotted time every day, then go home to my +wife, who would tell me how the ducklings had got smothered in the +shell, how the milk had turned sour, and such like prattle. And one +day she whispered blushingly in my ear the secret which makes the +husband's heart beat faster with joy and pride. In listening to it, I +forgot everything else in the world. The thought that I was to become +the father of a family, that would grow up to know no other home but +this peaceful valley, filled my soul with joy and content. This +thought became to me what roots are to a tree; it attached me so +securely to my little plot of ground, that I felt as if no power on +earth could tear me away from it. My beloved Madus, and our little +home, became doubly dear to me. Had all the wealth, all the splendor +that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[Pg 74]</a></span> came to me later, been offered me then in exchange for my Madus +and the humble little home she filled with her joyous presence, I +should have refused with scorn.</p> + + +<p class="newsection">THE KOLTUK-DENGENEGI.</p> + +<p>I had become perfectly satisfied with my peaceful and uneventful +existence. My entire world now lay within the rocky rim of the Viszpa +Ogrod. My entire happiness lay in the beaming smile with which my +Madus greeted my home-coming every day. My labors in the smithy were +always over by noon; the afternoons were devoted to work required to +be done at home.</p> + +<p>One day I was siting in the hall-way of our cottage busily employed +fashioning, from some crimson willow withes, a pretty basket-cradle, +when a shadow suddenly shut out the sunlight from me. I looked up and +was startled to see Nyedzviedz standing in the door-way.</p> + +<p>"You here!" I exclaimed. "Have you, too, been relegated to the Viszpa +Ogrod because of the softened heart? Or have you come here to hide +from an enemy?—Which?"</p> + +<p>"Neither, my good Baran," answered the leader. "I am not come to stop +in this happy valley, but to fetch you away from it. We need you in +the cavern. We cannot get on without you. We are planning a most +important expedition, and need your assistance. A rich caravan is on +the road to Mohilow; it is made up of Russian, Turkish and Jew +traders, and is accompanied by a military escort. We propose to +capture this caravan, and take possession of all the treasure<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[Pg 75]</a></span> and +valuables, after which, we shall proceed to Berdiczov and loot the +monastery. As the monastery is strongly fortified, and garrisoned, we +shall have to batter down the walls; therefore we must take you with +us, as you are the only one who understands how to handle our field +gun. I shall appoint you second in command of the expedition."</p> + +<p>Madus had come from the kitchen while her father was speaking. She was +not in the least glad to see him; on the contrary, she greeted him +with a frown, and demanded angrily:</p> + +<p>"Why do you try to lure my gentle-hearted Baran away from me? He does +not need your stolen treasure. He has all he wants here in his humble +home. You buried us here—we are dead to you, therefore leave us here +in peace."</p> + +<p>To which Nyedzviedz made answer by saying: "Baran, does the father or +the husband control the wife? If you, the husband, don't know how to +control your wife, I, her father, will show you what to do with the +woman who speaks when she is not spoken to."</p> + +<p>I well knew what a hasty temper was the leader's, and persuaded Madus +to come with me to the kitchen, where I gently argued away her +opposition to my leaving home. I assured her it would be for our good; +that when I had got together enough money to keep us in comfort I +should return, and find a way to escape with her from the valley to +some large city, where we should be safe from the haidemaken, and +where she might sweep the dusty streets with a long-tailed silk gown, +and be addressed as "gracious lady."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[Pg 76]</a></span>This had the desired effect. She wept bitterly; but she bade me go +with her father. When I turned to cast a last look into the valley, +before we entered the rock-corridor, I could see my poor little wife's +red kerchief still gleaming in the doorway of our cottage. Her +favorite dove had flown after me to the entrance of the corridor; +there it settled down on my shoulder and began to coo into my ear. I +had to fling it away from me quite forcibly in order to frighten it +back to its mistress. My former comrades greeted me with loud cries of +welcome, and celebrated my return by a tremendous drinking-bout.</p> + +<p>When, after my long abstention from it, I again tasted wine, I forgot +the Viszpa Ogrod and everything connected with it—as one will, when +awake, forget even the most enchanting dreams.</p> + +<p>It is a well-known fact that the wine-drinker who abstains for a long +period from his favorite beverage, then yields again to the +temptation, becomes a more inveterate drunkard than before he resisted +the fascinations of the cup. The haidemaken drank only Tokay; they +made a point of selecting from the cellars of the prelates, and +magnates whom they plundered, only the best vintages.</p> + +<p>The following night we set out for Mohilow, a twelve days' journey.</p> + +<p>I am almost willing to wager that not a soul, in the region to which +we were going, really believed such a band of robbers as the +haidemaken was in existence—or, if it had ever been heard of, the +tales of its mar<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[Pg 77]</a></span>velous exploits were looked upon as kindred to the +fables repeated in the nursery.</p> + +<p>As I said before, the band always traveled by night. During the day we +rested, hidden in a dense forest, or in an uninhabited valley.</p> + +<p>We never entered a village to procure food, but carried with us +rations of dried meat, varying our diet with mushrooms collected on +the way.</p> + +<p>On learning definitely from the scouts we had sent to reconnoiter that +the caravan was expected to reach Mohilow on a certain day, we +concealed ourselves in a swampy thicket by the side of the road over +which it would have to pass. Here we were forced to wait two days, +during which our meat gave out, and we had to eat raw frogs and birds' +eggs. The peasant carts passing along the road, with pretzels, smoked +sausages, cheese, mead and wine for the market at Mohilow, were not +molested by the hungry robbers, who would only have needed to stretch +out their hands to secure the good things for which they languished. +But the leader would not allow it.</p> + +<p>"We are here to fight, not feast," he said.</p> + +<p>Our patience was well nigh at an end, when, one day, the sound of a +trumpet and drum announced the approach of the caravan.</p> + +<p>On mules, on horses, camels, and ox-carts, came the +fifteen-hundred-odd human souls, their escort, a valiant company of +soldiers in coats of mail, and helmets, and armed with halberds, and +muskets. It was a motly crowd, outnumbering our band in souls; but +inferior to us in strength.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[Pg 78]</a></span>When, at a preconcerted signal, our men dashed from the thicket, the +entire caravan fell into confusion. The soldiers fired off their +muskets, heedless where they aimed; we, on the other hand, sent our +shots where they would prove most effective.</p> + +<p>A frightful tumult ensued—it was: save himself who can; while the +heavily laden carts and vans were left behind.</p> + +<p>I must admit that the haidemaken behaved atrociously. Never, in all my +experience on the battlefield, did I witness such a scene of carnage. +It made me ill; I became so faint with horror and disgust I sank +unconscious to the ground.</p> + +<p>When I came to my senses, I saw a Turkish merchant hobbling on a +crutch toward me. He was old, and seemed to have been seriously +wounded, for he was covered with blood. He came straight toward me, +and, sinking to the ground by my side, said in a pleading tone: "My +son, I beg you, take my yataghan, and cut off my head."</p> + +<p>Your honors may believe that I was startled by so singular a request.</p> + +<p>"I shan't do any such thing!" I replied promptly, and with decision.</p> + +<p>"Pray do," he urged. "Cut off my head without further parley, and you +shall have this koltuk-dengenegi," which is Turkish for "beggar's +staff."</p> + +<p>"No, Baba," I returned, with the same decision as before. "I can't cut +off your head, for I have no grudge against you. I am not an +assassin—though I do belong to the haidemaken; I was forced into +this<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[Pg 79]</a></span> band, much as Pilate was thrust into the <i>credo</i>—against his +will, I'll warrant!"</p> + +<p>"Your countenance tells me, my son, that you are better than your +comrades," said the old Turk. "For that reason I ventured to ask a +favor of you. Come, hesitate no longer to perform the deed of mercy +for which you shall be handsomely rewarded. Decapitate this old body; +it will not be assassination; one can murder only a living being—so +says the Koran, the only truthful book on earth—and I cannot strictly +be called a living being. I have a deadly wound in the abdomen, and am +bound to die sooner or later. Besides, I am prepared and desire to +die. I can't flee any farther; and if I fall into the hands of your +cruel comrades I shall be horribly tortured. Therefore, I beg you to +release me from further suffering; cut off my head with this beautiful +yataghan, which shall also be yours."</p> + +<p>But, not even then could I bring myself to grant his prayer, and +relieve him of his sufferings and his bald head.</p> + +<p>"Leave me, Baba," I exclaimed impatiently. "If you want to get rid of +your head, cut it off yourself with that beautiful yataghan; or else, +hang yourself on one of those beautiful trees over yonder."</p> + +<p>To this the old Turk responded with pious mien: "That I dare not do, +my son. The Koran—the only truthful book on earth—says, there are +seven hells: one underneath the other, and each one more terrible than +the one above it. The first hell is for true believers, like myself; +the second is for Christians; the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[Pg 80]</a></span> seventh is for the Atheists. The +fourth, Morhut, is for those persons who commit suicide. Were I to +take my own life, I should have to descend to the fourth hell, where, +as well as in every one of the three hells above it, I should be +obliged to remain three-hundred and thirty-three years before I should +be permitted to enter paradise. Whereas, if I should lose my life at +the hands of an unbeliever like yourself, I should—so says the Koran, +the only truthful book on earth—go straightway to paradise."</p> + +<p>And still I hesitated; though it seemed but kindness to grant the old +Turk's request, and send him speeding straightway into paradise. But, +I remembered that our Bible (really the only truthful book on earth) +says: "Thou shalt not kill;" and thrust the importunate old fellow +away from me.</p> + +<p>But he renewed his pleading with increased urgency: "See, my son, I +will give you this koltuk-dengenegi—" "Of what use would that crutch +be to me?" I interrupted.</p> + +<p>"If you will screw off the top you will see that the crutch is filled +with gold pieces," he replied; and to prove that he spoke the truth, +he unscrewed the shoulder rest and shook several gold coins into the +palm of his hand.</p> + +<p>The yellow metal dazzled my eyes: "The crutch would hold a good many +coins," I said to myself, to which added the Turk's pleading voice:</p> + +<p>"You shall have it all, my son, if you will but grant my prayer."</p> + +<p>And still I hesitated.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[Pg 81]</a></span>"I can't do it, Baba," I said. "Even if you gave me the crutch, I +should not be allowed to keep the gold. No member of our band is +allowed to keep for his own use alone any valuables that may come into +his possession. Everything must be placed at once in the common +treasury for the use of the entire band—and woe to the haidemak who +would dare to keep for himself even a single Polish groschen! So, you +see, Baba, your gold would be of no use to me."</p> + +<p>"Listen to me, my son," again urged the wounded Turk, who was growing +visibly weaker; "you are young; I can see that this wild life is not +suited to you. If you had my gold, you could escape to Wallachia, buy +an estate—a castle—serfs, and marry. Perhaps you already have a +sweetheart—if so, why shouldn't you live in happiness with her, +instead of skulking about in caves and swamps like a wild animal?"</p> + +<p>This suggestion made me thoughtful. It brought back to my mind my dear +good Madus. Ah! if only I might fly with her, far away, to some region +where she might become a respected lady. If I had the Turk's gold! I +could easily keep it secreted in the crutch. Some day, when the +haidemaken were away on an expedition, I could easily stupefy the few +members of the band remaining in the cavern by drugging their mead +with Venice treacle; and when they were sound asleep I could fetch my +Madus from the Viszpa Ogrod and with her escape to a far away land.</p> + +<p>This thought impressed itself so deeply on my mind—it became so +alluring that, unconsciously, my hand went out toward the beautiful +yataghan.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[Pg 82]</a></span>"If I thought I could keep the gold hidden!" I said, unconscious that +I had given voice to the thought.</p> + +<p>"That will be easy enough; just leave it in the crutch," promptly +responded the Turk. "When you join your comrades make believe to have +taken cold in the swamp yonder, say that the muscles of your leg have +contracted and made you lame. That will not only give you an excuse to +use the crutch, but it will most likely get your discharge; a hobbling +cripple is not a desirable comrade in a band of robbers."</p> + +<p>Without waiting to see how I might take his suggestion, the Turk +proceeded at once to show me how to bandage my left leg, so that it +could not be straightened at the knee; how to keep my ankle against +the crutch, and hobble along on the right leg. I thought of Madus, for +whom I would have hobbled on one leg to Jerusalem, and let him show me +how to transform myself to a cripple.</p> + +<p>"Now, my son," he said, when he had delivered his instructions, "take +my yataghan, my beautiful yataghan, and cut off my head—only don't +hack it off as a butcher would with a cleaver. Swing the yataghan, +thus, in a half-circle—easily, gracefully, as you would the bow of a +violin. I will kneel here at your feet, bend forward, thus; then do +you strike just here: between these two segments of the vertebræ. Be +sure to keep firm hold on the handle to prevent the blade from +slipping—"</p> + +<p>He gave me so many directions, kept on talking so long that Satan, who +is ever at one's elbow, gave my arm a sudden thrust, and, before I +knew what had hap<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[Pg 83]</a></span>pened, a body minus a head lay at my feet, while a +head minus a body was rolling down the hill—</p> + +<p>"<i>Homicidium!</i>" dictated the chair to the notary. To this the prince +appended:</p> + +<p>"Under extenuating circumstances. We must not ignore the fact that the +deed was committed at the urgent request of the decapitated—under +approval of the Koran, and instigated, I might say, forced, to the act +by the wicked one at the perpetrator's elbow."</p> + +<p>"It was killing a human being, all the same!" said Hugo, "and I had +cause soon afterward to repent most bitterly what I had done. After I +had committed the bloody deed I set out to overtake my comrades. They +had secured much valuable booty which they were carrying on their +backs. When I came up with them, hobbling on one leg and leaning on my +crutch, they broke into loud laughter:</p> + +<p>"What the devil is the matter with you?" queried the leader.</p> + +<p>"I am all used up!" I groaned. "I killed an old Turk, whose lame leg +prevented him from running away with the rest of them; and before he +gave up the ghost he cursed me and prayed that I might be compelled to +hobble along on a crutch for the rest of my life. He had hardly got +the words out of his throat before my leg became as you see it, and I +can't straighten it."</p> + +<p>"That comes of standing in the swamp—cold water will affect +effeminate fellows like you in that way," observed Nyedzviedz. "But +don't worry, we have<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[Pg 84]</a></span> among us one who understands how to cure such +maladies. Ho, there! Przepiorka, come hither."</p> + +<p>I was frightened, I can tell you! If my leg were examined it would be +found to be in a sound and healthy condition. But there was no help +for it—I could not escape an examination. So I drew up the calf of +the leg so tightly against the lower part of the thigh that +Przepiorka, after he had tried several times in vain to straighten it +pronounced it permanently crippled.</p> + +<p>On hearing this decision, I forgot my role and would have straightened +the leg to convince myself that it could be done; but, what was my +consternation and alarm to find that I was unable to do it. The +affliction I had pretended had come upon me in earnest! God had +punished me. I was a miserable cripple, unable to take a single step +without the koltuk-dengenegi.</p> + +<p>How I cursed him who had left it to me in legacy!</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[Pg 85]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_II_II" id="CHAPTER_II_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE BERDICZOV MONASTERY.</span></h3> + + +<p>"Don't worry," said Nyedzviedz again, when he saw my distress. "Don't +worry! You can still be of great service to us, even if you are lame. +We have long wanted to add to our number just such a cripple."</p> + +<p>Then he summoned a sturdy, broad-shouldered robber and bade him take +me on his back and in this fashion I journeyed with the band, the +stronger members taking turns in carrying me.</p> + +<p>When we arrived at Oezakover forest, where we halted to rest, the +leader said to me:</p> + +<p>"You will leave us here, Baran, and hobble to Berdiczov as best you +can. I want you to spy out the situation there for us and get all the +information you can. Then you will return to the cavern and on the +news you bring will depend our plans of attack; I propose to capture +the monastery."</p> + +<p>The extraordinary success of the Mohilow expedition had made our +leader so arrogant that, because he had, with three-hundred men +vanquished two-thousand, half of whom were armed, he now aspired to +nothing of less importance than a garrisoned castle.</p> + +<p>And the wedge with which he proposed to force an entrance was my +crippled leg!</p> + +<p>From near and far—from distant lands even, all manner of crippled +folk, and invalids afflicted with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[Pg 86]</a></span> divers maladies, journeyed to +Berdiczov in search of healing. The indigent limped and hobbled on +crutches to the miracle-working spot; the well-to-do rode on mules; +the peasant was trundled in a barrow by his sturdy spouse; the +tradesman travelled in his two-wheeled ox-cart; and the magnate was +borne in his sedan-chair by his servants.</p> + +<p>Berdiczov monastery was the property of the Premonstrant monks. It +stood on an elevation in the center of a charming valley. It was +strongly fortified, and surrounded by thick walls, which were +protected outside by a deep moat and palisades.</p> + +<p>A thermal spring at the foot of the hill fed the moat and turned the +wheels of a grist mill. The only entrance to the monastery was over a +narrow drawbridge that spanned the moat at its deepest part. The +multitude of visitors to the healing spring found lodgings in the +little village outside the walls of the monastery; and only one +hundred worshippers at a time were permitted to enter the chapel +inside the gates. If the crowd gathered at the drawbridge at the hour +for services exceeded that number then mass was celebrated all day +long, one hundred of the faithful entering at one door, as the hundred +that had worshipped passed out by the other. Day and night guards +armed to the teeth patrolled the walls and the court-yard; and no +visitor was allowed to enter with weapons of any sort, for enormous +wealth lay heaped within the walls of the monastery. When I saw the +heaps on heaps of valuables in the treasure-chamber, I no longer +wondered that Nyedzviedz desired to possess it. There was a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[Pg 87]</a></span> massive +altar of pure silver, the gift of King Stanislaus; golden alms basins, +engraved with the name and history of the donor, Count Leszinsky; +images of saints with mosaics of priceless gems; golden chalices; +shrines glittering with rubies and diamonds; gemmed thuribles; antique +crowns which had once adorned crania twice the size of the heads of +our day; costly reliquaries; and, amid all this splendor, countless +numbers of crutches and staves, the votive offerings of the afflicted +who had found healing in the waters of the spring.</p> + +<p>The crutches and staves were the first objects to attract my eye, and +I said to myself: "How gladly would I add to this collection the old +Turk's koltuk-dengenegi with all its gold, could I but find healing +for my crippled leg."</p> + +<p>When the choral began, I can't describe the feeling which took +possession of me as I listened to the beautiful melody. I had no +thought then for the treasures of gold and silver—no glance for +anything but the image of the saint above the altar. I could not +escape from the reproachful eyes it fixed on me. I felt that it was +reading all the wicked thoughts in my breast. But, as I listened to +the beautiful music, all the evil intentions I had brought with me to +the monastery faded from my heart; and when the last sounds died away, +there was not, in all the devout company, a more bitterly repentant +wretch than I. When the service was concluded, the worshippers passed +in front of the prior to receive his benediction. The prior was a +ven<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[Pg 88]</a></span>erable saint with a flowing white beard; his countenance expressed +infinite goodness and benevolence.</p> + +<p>We had been told not to offer any gifts to the monks on entering the +monastery; but to leave whatever we might think fit to bestow, on +departing.</p> + +<p>The venerable prior dispensed his blessing to all alike. He did not +inquire if the recipient were a believer, or a heretic. Christians, +Jews, Mohammedans, all alike, received the godly man's benediction.</p> + +<p>I quitted the chapel wholly repentant. I had completely forgotten the +errand on which I had been sent. Not once did it occur to me that I +was there as a spy, to examine the walls, the mortars, to learn the +strength of the garrison.</p> + +<p>I took my place in the procession of cripples, and hobbled along with +them, mumbling the prayers prescribed for us.</p> + +<p>When we arrived at the miracle-working spring, I and my +fellow-sufferers were undressed and placed on rafts in the water—rich +and poor alike, no distinction was made between the magnate and the +beggar.</p> + +<p>I can't say exactly how long I remained in the water; but when I came +out, the crook had left my leg, it was straight and sound as before I +came into possession of the old Turk's crutch.</p> + +<p>"Miraculum! Miraculum!" shouted the entire company; while I wept like +a little child, for joy and gratitude.</p> + +<p>With my crutch over my shoulder, instead of under it I returned to the +prior, who received me with a benignant smile.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[Pg 89]</a></span>I knelt at his feet and asked him to receive my confession. I told him +every thing; that I was there at the behest of the haidemaken leader +to spy out the strength of the fortifications and the garrison; that +the band was preparing to assault the monastery, so soon as they +should hear from me; that they intended to bring with them a powerful +field-gun, with which to force a breach in the walls through which the +four-hundred fearless robbers would enter and overpower the soldiery. +When I had concluded, and the prior had given me absolution, he said:</p> + +<p>"Now, my son, go back to those who sent you here and tell them what +you have learned. Let them come with their field-gun, and do you come +with them. When you are ordered to bombard the walls, do you obey—"</p> + +<p>"What? father;" I interrupted in astonishment. "You advise me to do +that?"</p> + +<p>"Yes. On the bombardier depends the effect of the bombardment! It +rests with him to aim well, or ill! Better you at the gun than +another!"</p> + +<p>I understood the sagacious reply, and said:</p> + +<p>"I shall take good care not to aim well, father."</p> + +<p>"On you, my son, will it depend that the relief troops I shall send +for reach here in time to save us from the robbers."</p> + +<p>"And you may rest assured, father, that I shall know how to prolong +the siege!"</p> + +<p>As a pledge that I would keep faith with him I gave him my crutch, +gratitude also prompting the gift, for,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[Pg 90]</a></span> not even a gold-filled crutch +is too great a price to pay for a sound leg!</p> + +<p>"I will keep it for you, my son," said the benevolent sage. "If you +succeed in averting the danger which threatens us you shall have the +crutch back, and something in addition—something of more value than +gold: aid to reform. Take this image of the Holy Virgin to your wife +with my blessing."</p> + +<p>A changed man at heart, I returned to the cavern, where, however, I +was forced again to tell untruths, in order to deceive the robbers. +But it was for a good cause.</p> + +<p>My comrades received me with gratulatory shouts when they saw me +walking on two healthy legs. I told them I had been healed by +magic—by the incantations of a witch, and they believed me! Had I +told the truth, and that I had received the blessing of the prior, it +would have made them suspicious.</p> + +<p>We now held a council of war, at which I delivered my report. I knew +from experience that, to gain credence for a lie, one must invest it +with a modicum of truth. Therefore, I described, without deviating one +iota from the truth, the treasures I had seen, and even added to +them—as, for instance: I said there were barrels filled with gold and +silver, which made the robbers' mouths water. Nyedzviedz was full of +ambitious plans. He intended, so soon as he got money enough, to +combine under his leadership all the predatory bands in the Carpathian +region, and with them invade and plunder the wealthy Galician cities, +castles, and monasteries. He felt confident that the common peo<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[Pg 91]</a></span>ple +would be glad to aid in plundering the prelates and nobles.</p> + +<p>I described the fortifications of Berdiczov monastery as almost +impregnable, when the truth was, that I could, with the culverin, have +battered down the walls the first day while the rusty old mortars +would do little damage among the beleaguerers. I ascribed to the prior +the strategic talents of a field-marshall. My description of the moat, +with the formidable palisades concealed under the water, quite +discouraged the robbers from the plan they had made to swim across it, +and storm the walls.</p> + +<p>Indeed, I told such astounding tales about the powder mines under the +walls and moat, that their confidence in me became absolute when I +sketched my plan of assault. I proposed to batter the fortifications +in such a manner, that the <i>debris</i> would fall into and fill up the +moat, which would enable us to cross it without injury, and enter +through the breaches I had made in the walls. I won the leader's favor +and approval to such an extent that he committed the entire conduct of +the important expedition into my hands.</p> + +<p>At the conclusion of the council, I asked as a special favor to be +allowed to spend a day with my beloved Madus before we set out on the +expedition.</p> + +<p>Nyedzviedz at first was unwilling to consent. "I know," he said, "just +how women-folk are. It is best for a soldier to have nothing to do +with them. Their tears are sure to melt a soft heart."</p> + +<p>But I persisted in my request, and at last received permission to +visit the Viszpa Ogrod.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[Pg 92]</a></span>It was a beautiful autumn afternoon when I descended the steep path to +the secluded valley. While yet some distance from our little cottage, +I heard my Madus singing sweetly—I can hear her now, and see her as +she came joyfully to meet me.</p> + +<p>How happy she was!</p> + +<p>The poor child believed I had come to stop, and as I did not want to +cloud her joy, I put off until the moment of my departure, telling her +that I was again to accompany her father on a distant expedition.</p> + +<p>One day at least I would spend happily. So, I let my Madus tell me all +that had happened in the valley during my absence; I heard also how +much dried fruit, how many smoked trout, how many cheeses, she had in +store for the winter; how many yards of beautiful linen she had woven +from the flax she had cultivated with her own hands.</p> + +<p>Last of all, she exhibited, with blushing cheeks, her little +treasures: cunning little caps, and jackets, at sight of which my +heart leapt for joy in my bosom. She confided to me in a whisper that, +when Christmas should arrive, her Bethlehem crib would have received +its occupant.</p> + +<p>Oh, how gladly would I have remained with her! But it could not be. I +had more ambitious plans for her. I was bent on escaping with her to +the great world, where she should—as she deserved—become a fine +lady.</p> + +<p>After she had told me everything about herself, she asked me to relate +what I had done while absent. When I told her how successful the +expedition had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[Pg 93]</a></span> proved, I found that the Madus who tended her doves +and made cheeses in the Viszpa Ogrod, was vastly different from the +Madus who had once accompanied the haidemaken expeditions. She grew +pale with horror when I described the slaughter of the caravan; and +the occurrence which resulted in my becoming the inheritor of the old +Turk's crutch, and a lame leg. She became more composed, however, when +I told her about the marvelous cure at the healing spring; and quite +recovered her composure when I gave her the image of the Holy Virgin +the prior had sent her. Ah me! that image was her death, as well as +her salvation.</p> + +<p>The next morning I told her I had to leave her again. She sought with +tears and caresses to dissuade me from going. She clasped her arms +around my neck, then flung herself at my feet, and clasped my +knees—she seemed unable to control her wild despair.</p> + +<p>I have often thought since that the poor child had a presentiment she +would never again behold me in this life.</p> + +<p>I sought in vain to comfort her; in vain I assured her that I would +never leave her again after I returned from this expedition, from +which I hoped to secure what would enable me to establish a home for +her in some large city. She was inconsolable.</p> + +<p>She accompanied me to the entrance to the rock-corridor, and would +have gone clear to the cavern, had not her father met us just as we +were entering the passage. He frightened her by saying it would be +unsafe to venture among the haidemaken in her condition, as all +robbers entertained the superstitious be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[Pg 94]</a></span>lief that the fourth finger +from the hand of an unborn babe rendered the possessor invulnerable to +bullet and sword.</p> + +<p>Nyedzviedz would not even allow a last embrace, but thrust us roughly +apart; and forced me to precede him into the corridor. I kept looking +back from time to time, so long as the entrance remained in sight. My +Madus stood, looking after me, in the circular opening of the rocky +wall; she seemed like a saint encompassed by a halo of light, and as +the corridor grew darker and more gloomy the radiant image at my back +increased in brilliance until a sudden turn hid the beautiful vision +from my sight.</p> + +<p>That same evening we set out for Berdiczov—four-hundred haidemaken, +with the culverin.</p> + + +<p class="newsection">CHRISTMAS.</p> + +<p>It was early Autumn when we began the siege, which I conducted in so +skillful—from my point of view!—a manner, that December found us +still outside the walls of the monastery. Three times I changed the +position of our assaulting forces; but took good care every time to +select a point far enough from the walls to prevent our shots from +damaging them to any considerable extent.</p> + +<p>Nyedzviedz kept urging me to a nearer approach: he said we were so +distant, that the cannon-balls from the fortifications had to roll +over the ground to reach our lines. So, one day, after he had examined +the ground, and discovered what he believed to be a more advantageous +position, I was forced, in order not to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[Pg 95]</a></span> rouse his suspicions, to +comply with his request. While superintending the throwing up of +intrenchments the first night I managed to secrete under the +earth-works a keg of powder, and in the morning I told the leader that +extreme caution would be necessary, now that we were so much nearer to +the fortifications, as the monks were having powder-mines laid under +our breast-works. I had heard peculiar noises during the night, I told +him, and, suspecting what was being done, I had scattered a few peas +on the head of a drum standing on the ground. The lively dancing of +the peas had convinced me that my suspicions were correct.</p> + +<p>But the leader was incredulous. He decided to take observations for +himself; and would spend the following night in the trenches, when he +could also watch the result of our bombardment. This would make it +impossible for me to carry out my plans for exploding the keg of +powder hidden in the breast-works. But, I was not to be outdone. I +happened to remember an expedient I had once employed with success, +and resorted to it again: I drew the fuse through a long reed, one end +of which I thrust into the keg.</p> + +<p>I had to be very cautious; for Nyedzviedz had a nose that could smell +a match cord at long range; but with the fuse inside the reed, I could +prevent the fumes from getting into the range of his olfactor.</p> + +<p>The powder exploded at the right moment, just when the leader was +bending eagerly over the breast-work to peer after a bomb. After the +smoke and dust cleared away, I drew him from under the heap of earth,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[Pg 96]</a></span> +from which only his legs protruded. He had not been injured in the +least, but all desire to assault the enemy at so close a range had +fled, and I was allowed to return to our former position, on the brow +of a hill, a considerable distance farther from the fortifications.</p> + +<p>I consoled the dissatisfied haidemaken with the assurance that, when +the real cold weather of winter should set in, the moat would freeze +over; then it would be an easy matter to storm the walls at close +range. I did not think it necessary to tell them that the warm spring +would prevent the water in the moat from freezing. In the meantime +came Christmas—an anxiously longed-for day in many respects. With the +dawn of Christmas morning came a furious snow-storm, the north wind +flinging down on us such masses of flakes that it was impossible to +see ten steps away.</p> + +<p>It was just the sort of weather I had calculated on. The bombardment +had to cease, as the monastery was completely hidden from view behind +the veil of snow. The haidemaken retired to their tents, and amused +themselves, gaming with dice and cards, for what stakes do you +imagine? They had no money, remember! Why, the winner paid, and the +loser received, a box on the ear! I hadn't any fondness for the game +myself; but my comrades seemed to enjoy it hugely.</p> + +<p>While gaming, drinking, cursing, were going on in the other tents, I +sat in my own, alone, and silent, pondering over my past years. I +recalled the different anniversaries of the blessed day, beginning +with the first I could remember when, held in my mother's arms, I +removed from the Christmas-tree my first<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[Pg 97]</a></span> ginger-bread doll, which I +was loath to eat because of its beautiful golden hue.</p> + +<p>Then, my thoughts turned to the humble cot in the Viszpa Ogrod; and I +wondered, with a strange trembling in my bosom, if the little +Bethlehem crib, my Madus had prepared for the reception of a precious +occupant, now held its treasure.</p> + +<p>The monastery bells were ringing for the Christmas service; on the +bastion a long procession of monks with innumerable lamps was moving +toward the chapel.</p> + +<p>The wind was driving the clouds across the sky, and hundreds of +witch-forms rioted above the camp, in the faint light which came from +a mist-veiled moon.</p> + +<p>The snow-fall had ceased; only the wind, which was scattering the +storm-clouds, still swept with unabated vigor across the plain, +packing the fine snow more compactly together.</p> + +<p>Suddenly, amid the noise of carousing and shouting which came from the +neighboring tents, I heard a sound that made me drop quickly to my +knees, and lay my ear close to the ground. At last! At last! They were +coming! I could hear distinctly the hoof-beats, when they crossed the +rocky road from which the wind had swept the snow. Then, the sound +ceased—they were come to the plain where the snow muffled the noise +of the hoofs. Duke Visznovieczky's dragoons were approaching at a +brisk trot to the assistance of Berdiczov monastery.</p> + +<p>I did not wait for them to come up. In the dark all cows are black! I +said to myself: "It will be useless<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[Pg 98]</a></span> to try to convince the dragoon +who raises his sword against me that I am this one, and not the other +one!" So I wrapped myself in my mantle, slipped from the tent, and ran +fleetly toward the monastery.</p> + +<p>When I paused to look back, after the relief troop had begun the +attack on the robber camp, I saw the witch-dance I had seen earlier, +it had descended to the earth, and with it was joined a tumult of +demons; of black forms, and white, darting hither and thither; of +furious sword cuts; frenzied cries; mad flight, and swift pursuit!</p> + +<p>The early morning assault was successful. The dragoons routed the +haidemaken without a shot. What became of my comrades I cannot say, +for I continued on my way to the monastery, where I shouted myself +hoarse before the draw-bridge was lowered to admit me.</p> + +<p>Early mass had just been concluded. The monks with their tall +candlesticks, chanting a psalm of praise, led the procession returning +from the chapel; the cripples hobbling in the rear, hummed the +antiphony. But, hei! didn't the devout company break ranks quickly +when I appeared before them with the announcement:</p> + +<p>"Duke Visznovieczky's dragoons are come, and have attacked the +haidemaken camp!"</p> + +<p>The psalm-singing ceased at once; and, instead, everybody was +shouting: "To arms! To arms!"</p> + +<p>Even the canopy-bearers left the prior in the middle of the +court-yard, and ran to fetch their arms; while<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[Pg 99]</a></span> the cripples hopped +about on one leg and brandished their crutches and staves.</p> + +<p>By this time we could see that the beleaguerers were fleeing before +the dragoons in every direction. The valiant burgers who, at the +beginning of the siege, had taken refuge in the monastery, could now +no longer repress their heroic feelings. Seizing whatever would serve +as a weapon, the brave fellows dashed across the draw-bridge and sped +toward the field of battle; the reverend fathers followed at a more +dignified pace; the cripples brought up the rear, and assisted the +worthy burgers to complete the work of destruction begun by the +dragoons, by cutting off the feet of those haidemaken who had already +been decapitated.</p> + +<p>Whether Nyedzviedz had succeeded in escaping the fate of many of his +comrades, I could not learn then; nor did I care! I was too thankful +that I had been spared from destruction and delivered from the clutch +of the robber-band. Therewith ended my career as a haidemak.</p> + +<p>The prisoner here paused in his confession, feeling that he, as well +as the court, needed a rest.</p> + +<p>"I am inclined to believe," observed the prince, "that the accused +rehabilitated himself through his valiant act. So much as he sinned, +so much he made good! He was healed by a miracle of God; therefore, it +behooves us earthly judges to consider well before we pass sentence +where the Heavenly Judge granted absolution."</p> + +<p>To this the chair, with obvious irritation, made<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[Pg 100]</a></span> reply: "If your +highness intends to permit this malefactor to extenuate, in a like +manner, all the rest of his misdeeds, when he gets to the end of the +list we shall feel that he deserves canonization instead of +punishment."</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[Pg 101]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_III" id="PART_III"></a>PART III.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">IN THE SERVICE OF THE DUKE.</span></h2> + + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_III_I" id="CHAPTER_III_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">MALACHI.</span></h3> + + +<p>The next day the prisoner continued his confession:</p> + +<p>My experience at Berdiczov monastery, my deliverance from destruction, +as well as the miraculous restoration of my crippled limb, decided me +to adopt the faith of the holy brotherhood.</p> + +<p>Their solemn ceremonies, their elevating devotions, their piety, made +a deep impression on me; but the most comforting to me of all their +rites was that of the confessional.</p> + +<p>It was such a comfort to unbosom myself to one in whom I could trust +implicitly; to confide in him all the secrets that tortured my dreams +by night, and my thoughts by day. And then, to receive absolution—to +get back, as it were, the bond I had given to Satan!</p> + +<p>One day was not long enough for all I had to tell. I could have spent +every day of the week in the confessional, pouring into the ear of the +good Father Agapitus the sins which burdened my conscience. And<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[Pg 102]</a></span> one +day I confessed, too, that I was becoming weary of the life in the +monastery, where there was nothing to do but tend to the sick all day +long; and that I wanted to go back to the world—if not to my former +sinful life.</p> + +<p>After I had confessed, I ventured to ask the worthy father to +recommend me to some Polish noble, with whom I should have little work +and much amusement. There were many such places, I said, where the +services of a man of my stamp were required.</p> + +<p>"My dear son," returned the worthy father, "I cannot recommend you to +a Christian man of the world, for, although I could tell him that you +are a pious confrater now, I could not say that you have always been +honest. I know just the contrary, and I cannot give false witness. But +I will do what I can for you. Here is the crutch you left with us—the +gold is still in it. Take it, garb yourself in beggar raiment, and +limp to Lemberg, where lives a Master Malachi in the Jewish quarter of +the city. You need only to inquire for him, and you will be directed +to his house. He is a wicked man, in league with Satan. He deserves to +have been sent to the scaffold long ago—and he will get there should +the Inquisition be established. Malachi is the man for your needs. +Tell him what you require, he will understand you—especially if you +tell him what your crutch contains!"</p> + +<p>I could understand clearly that a pious man like Father Agapitus could +do nothing for me—so notorious a sinner! He could not give me a +letter of recommendation, with false dates; it was enough if he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[Pg 103]</a></span> +directed me where to find an accomplished counterfeiter, who could +supply my wants. So, I kissed his hand in gratitude; bade him +farewell, and, with my crutch under my shoulder, set out for Lemberg, +begging my way so that no one should suspect that I carried in my +crutch the wherewith to pay for food and lodging.</p> + +<p>When I arrived in Lemberg I repaired at once to the Jews' quarter, +where the streets are so narrow two wagons cannot pass one another. +Directly I entered the principal thoroughfare, which seemed a +veritable rag-fair from one end to the other, I was surrounded by a +swarm of noisy children.</p> + +<p>I took from my pocket a denarius, held it up before them, and said I +would give it to the lad who would conduct me to the house of Malachi, +whereupon the youngsters began to quarrel as to which of them should +become the possessor of the coin. The largest scamp among them, who +succeeded by force of his superior size and strength to vanquish his +fellows, offered himself as guide.</p> + +<p>He led me a pretty chase, through numerous byways and alleys, where +there was hardly room for two persons to pass, to a shop in front of +which was sitting an aged dame, with her cap drawn down to her +eyebrows.</p> + +<p>Said my guide, after I had placed the denarius in his hand:</p> + +<p>"This woman knows where Malachi lives—she will tell you;" and before +I could stop him, the little rascal<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[Pg 104]</a></span> was off down the street as fast +as his legs could carry him.</p> + +<p>I turned to the crone, who kept nodding her old head as if she were +assenting to anything I might say to her, took from my pocket a +<i>Marien-groschen</i>, and holding it toward her, said:</p> + +<p>"Here, mother, this pretty coin shall be yours if you will direct me +to Malachi's house."</p> + +<p>She nodded—as much as to say "very good;" rose from her chair, +shuffled into the shop, where she filled a small vial with red Polish +brandy. This she handed to me with one hand, at the same time +extending the other for the money.</p> + +<p>"I don't want brandy—I want to know where Malachi lives?" I shouted +at the top of my voice.</p> + +<p>The dame trotted back into the shop and brought a bottle of green +Russian brandy.</p> + +<p>The little scamp had left me to deal with a deaf woman! When I bawled +into her ear for the third time the name of Malachi, she fetched from +the shop a packet of insect powder which she offered in exchange for +the <i>Marien-groschen</i>.</p> + +<p>Then I bethought me of an expedient which is usually successful in +like cases: I took from my pocket a crown and held it toward the dame. +This cure for deafness proved effective.</p> + +<p>"Oh, you want to find Malachi?" she said in a cautious whisper, +nodding understandingly. "Follow me."</p> + +<p>She closed and locked the shop-door, opened a little gate at the +corner of the house, led me across a vege<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[Pg 105]</a></span>table garden hung with +soiled clothes; across a second; thence through a narrow passage, +between two old buildings, into a wood-shed; from there into a cellar; +then over a swinging bridge across an ill-smelling canal; and, lastly, +through a long, seemingly interminable corridor, at the end of which +she knocked with her staff at a wooden door, at the same time +whispering in my ear, and taking the crown from my hand:</p> + +<p>"I can't tell you where Malachi lives; but I have brought you to the +thaumaturgus, who knows everything; he will tell you where to find +Malachi."</p> + +<p>The door opened, and I saw before me a venerable man with silvery hair +and beard. He was blind. His tall form was enveloped in a black silk +robe girt about the waist by an oriental sash. From his garb, I +concluded that a coin of greater value would be necessary to procure +the information I desired.</p> + +<p>"Are you the man who knows everything?" I inquired.</p> + +<p>The old gentleman was not in the least chary of words. With great +readiness he declared that he understood the language of the birds of +the air; the speech of the beasts of the field; that he could converse +with dragons; could discover subterranean springs; could tell any man +whether or no he was the son of his father; could even understand the +tongue in which demons spake—</p> + +<p>"But," I interrupted, "I don't want to know any of these things. If +you will tell me where Malachi lives, I will pay for the information."</p> + +<p>"Ah, my son!" he responded, turning his sightless<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[Pg 106]</a></span> eyes heavenward; +"that is a difficult question to answer. There are in this world as +many Malachis as there are flowers in the field, and stars in the sky. +There are seventy-seven in this very city; a Malachi Mizraim; a +Malachi Meschugge; a Malachi Choschen; Malachi Pinkas; Malachi +Honnowas—How do I know which Malachi you want?"</p> + +<p>"I want the one who is a—counterfeiter," I answered, with some +hesitation.</p> + +<p>"Ah, my son!" again ejaculated the venerable sage, shaking his head +sadly, "how sorry I am to hear that you are on such evil ways! All the +Malachis with whom I have to do are honest, God-fearing men."</p> + +<p>I saw plainly that I should have to assist the old gentleman's memory; +I pressed a gold coin into his palm. He turned it over and over in his +fingers; tested it in various ways; and, after convincing himself that +it was genuine, he delivered this apothegmatic solution of the riddle:</p> + +<p>"My son, he whom you seek, I cannot find. I have never seen him—I am +blind. We will consult the Miracle."</p> + +<p>He stepped back into the room, to the table, where he groped about +with his hands among the different objects, until he found a long +steel needle. This he thrust between the leaves of a heavy book lying +on the table, opened it, and placing his forefinger at the point of +the needle, where it rested on the page, said, in a prophetic tone:</p> + +<p>"He whom the Miracle designates is Ben Malachi<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[Pg 107]</a></span> Peixoto, the +Portuguese—not I, but the Miracle says so."</p> + +<p>"And where shall I find this Portuguese?" I asked.</p> + +<p>"When you go from the door of my dwelling, you will find his directly +opposite. Knock twice, then once, then twice again, and you will be +admitted. And now, my son, go your way in peace!"</p> + +<p>A stocky youth, with a candle, conducted me down a dark stairway, +opened the door, and I found myself in the same street from which I +had started on my quest. Malachi's house was the first one on the +corner. I had been led a tramp, for half a day, hither and thither, up +and down, through the entire Ghetto, to reach the first house in it!</p> + +<p>I knocked on the door as I had been directed; it was opened by a +quince-colored lad. I cannot say for certain whether it was a lad or a +lass, I think, though, it was a lad. I could not understand the +language he spoke—indeed, I don't believe it was a language at all! +He conducted me up a creaking staircase, into a darkened room, in the +corner of which crouched a human form with its back to the door. He +did not turn at my entrance, but kept his face turned from me all the +time I was in the room.</p> + +<p>In front of him was a mirror in which he could see my reflection. The +fleeting glimpse I caught of his face in the glass, told me that the +mysterious creature had no beard; his face was quite smooth, which I +believe is the fashion among Portuguese Jews; it had been embrocated +with orpiment, which eats off the hair<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[Pg 108]</a></span> of the beard—a Mosaic law +prohibiting the use of metal to remove hair from the face.</p> + +<p>"Is Malachi at home?" I inquired.</p> + +<p>"Malachi is at home; what do you want of him?"</p> + +<p>The man spoke in the third person, so that I could not have sworn that +he to whom I addressed my inquiries was Malachi or not.</p> + +<p>"I will tell you my errand as briefly as possible," said I. "I want to +secure a position in the household of Duke Visznovieczky, and require +a patent of nobility to certify to my noble birth. I also want an +academic testimonial; a certificate of baptism and confirmation in the +Roman Catholic Church; and, lastly, I want a letter of recommendation +from some grand duke or other, which testifies to my erudition, and +skill in all the sciences, as well as to my excellent character. Of +course I don't expect you to furnish me with all these documents for +nothing. I am willing to pay your price for them. How much do you +ask?"</p> + +<p>The man replied to my reflection in the mirror: "Malachi's answer to +your insolent request is: You have applied to the wrong person. +Malachi does not meddle with such criminal doings. Moreover, Malachi +has nothing whatever to do with ragged beggars like yourself. If you +desire to become such a knight as you describe, and have the money to +pay for the transformation, go to Malachi's cousin, Malchus, the +tailor, who sells gentlemen's clothing. He lives on the corner of +Bethel street, beside the fountain. From him you can buy all manner of +fine raiment. Malchus will transform you to a noble knight—if you +have the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[Pg 109]</a></span> money to pay for it. And now be gone from here, and don't +come back again, for Malachi is an honest man whose lips do not utter +falsehoods; his fingers have never been stained with the ink of +forgery."</p> + +<p>Firmly believing that he was the Malachi I sought, I departed from his +house with a disappointed heart, and betook myself to Bethel street, +to the house beside the fountain, where I found Malchus the tailor. I +would at least exchange my beggar's garb for the raiment of a +gentleman.</p> + +<p>"How glad I am to see your lordship again!" exclaimed the little man, +as I stepped into his door. "May I become as the dust of the street, +if it doesn't seem a hundred years since I saw you last! But, does +your lordship imagine I could fail to recognize the noble knight +Zdenko Kochanovszki, who, in fulfillment of a vow, journeyed on foot, +and garbed as a pilgrim, to Jerusalem and back? Have not I, Malchus +the tailor, eyes to see? I'll wager my head against a button, that +nobody but myself would recognize your lordship in those ragged +garments. Could the beautiful Persida, from whom your lordship +received the magnificent wreath at the tournament, see you now, she +would say: 'Give this ragged beggar a penny, and drive him away.' She +is a duchess now, the wife of the powerful Duke Visznovieczki. But <i>I</i> +have not forgotten your lordship; I still have the clothes your +lordship left in pledge with me—also the embroidered leather-belt +with the bag containing the documents. I kept them all, safely +concealed, for I knew your lordship, the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[Pg 110]</a></span> brave and noble Zdenko +Kochanovszki, would return from the holy land and redeem his pledge."</p> + +<p>I saw at once that I should have to accept the personality thrust upon +me by the loquacious little tailor, and call myself Zdenko +Kochanovszki; and when I found how admirably the puissant knight's +cast-off garments fitted me, I no longer hesitated to take possession +of his name also.</p> + +<p>And that is how I became Zdenko Kochanovszki. When I was completely +garbed—and a stately mazar, I looked in the knight's habiliments!—I +asked Malchus what was to pay.</p> + +<p>"Why, surely your lordship remembers the sum I advanced on the +clothes? Of course, I did not count in the loan the jeweled clasps +your lordship desired to be sent to the beautiful Persida; so you owe +me only a round hundred ducats—"</p> + +<p>"A hundred ducats?" I repeated in consternation. "Why there isn't in +all Poland a waywode who can boast of so costly a suit of clothes."</p> + +<p>Malchus smiled slyly: "That is very true, my lord, and there is not in +all Poland a magnate who can boast of more valuable documents than +those in the bag attached to your lordship's leather-belt. When your +lordship left them with me and charged me to care for them as for the +apple of my eye, I knew they must be of great importance. So I have +kept them safely concealed all these years. I don't know what the +papers contain as I can read only what I write with my own hand. I +don't understand Latin, or Greek; and I don't know how to read from +left to right; conse<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[Pg 111]</a></span>quently your lordship may believe me when I say I +have not read the papers. Your lordship will find everything in the +bag just as when it was placed in my hands for safe keeping."</p> + +<p>I opened the bag, and, on examining the documents, found to my +surprise and delight that they were just what I wanted. There was a +patent of nobility, with a Turk's head in the crest—(concerning the +Turk's head I might justly have appropriated it for my own escutcheon, +only I had not come into possession of it on the battlefield!) There +was also an academic certificate, from the Rector of Sarbonne, with +the baccalaureate degree; also certificates of baptism and +confirmation, signed by the bishop of Cracow; a testimonial of valor +from the imperial commander-in-chief, Montecucculi; and a pardon from +the patriarch of Jerusalem—such as are bestowed on pilgrims to the +Holy Sepulchre—all of which were the property of Zdenko +Kochanovszki—who I was!</p> + +<p>Malchus continued to smile slyly while I was examining the documents, +and when I had read the last one he said:</p> + +<p>"Doesn't your lordship think these handsome clothes are worth one +hundred ducats?"</p> + +<p>I gave him a hearty slap on the back; then counted out a "round +hundred ducats." The clothes were not worth one-tenth that sum, but I +was quite satisfied with my purchase.</p> + +<p>I was now fully equipped for my entrance to the ducal palace; as +Zdenko Kochanovszki I might without hesitation seek admittance +anywhere.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[Pg 112]</a></span>He to whom the name rightly belonged had disappeared eight years +before, and had most likely lost his life in the Holy Land, or in the +battle with the infidels in Hungary. Whoever still remembered the +beardless youth, would not wonder at the great change eight years of +hardship and danger had made in him; and would expect to find the man +a different looking person from the boy. As for my looks—I doubt if +my own mother would have recognized me.</p> + +<p>The duke was an old man, of a girth so enormous that he was obliged to +wear a broad surcingle as support to his rotund paunch. His hair and +beard were gray on the right side, but black on the left, which gave +him a very peculiar appearance.</p> + +<p>When I presented myself before him, he seized both my hands, and +exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"What! Zdenko Kochanovszki back again? The devil! What a man you are +grown! Do you remember what we did at parting?"</p> + +<p>I was confused for a moment: how was I to remember what I had never +known? However, I had to reply, so I stammered what I thought the most +probable:</p> + +<p>"We drank to each other, your grace."</p> + +<p>"By heaven, you are right, lad! That is what we did! But, do you also +remember our wager?"</p> + +<p>I ventured another guess, and answered:</p> + +<p>"Each wagered he could drink the other under the table."</p> + +<p>"Ha, ha, ha! Right—right!" shouted his grace, embracing and kissing +me. "That's what we wagered<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[Pg 113]</a></span>—and the devil fly away with me if I +don't match you again this very moment! Ho, there, fetch the bratina."</p> + +<p>The bratina is a huge golden beaker that holds two quarts. This was +brought to me, filled with Hegyaljaner wine.</p> + +<p>Now, I had fasted for many hours, and was both hungry and thirsty, so +that it did not require much of an effort on my part to empty the +bratina at a draught—to the supernaculum!</p> + +<p>"The devil fetch me!" roared the jovial duke. "If I had not recognized +you already, I should know you now!"</p> + +<p>I had no difficulty drinking his grace under the table; and from that +hour I became an important member of his household.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[Pg 114]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_III_II" id="CHAPTER_III_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">PERSIDA.</span></h3> + + +<p>"<i>Crimen falsi</i>," dictated the chair to the notary.</p> + +<p>"But"—the prince made haste to add—"But, <i>immediatum</i>, not +<i>spontaneum</i>. The accused was led to the indirect committal of the act +by the instructions of Father Agapitus; the real criminal is a Jew—it +is he who deserves the stake. Therefore, the prisoner's transgression +may be remitted."</p> + +<p>"If this continues," grumblingly commented the chair, "the prisoner +will surely talk himself out of every one of his crimes. +Well"—addressing himself to the accused—"I don't know what to call +you, but for the time being Zdenko Kochanovszki, continue."</p> + +<p>Under that name, your honor, resumed Hugo, I lived the most memorable +days of my life. I was treated by the duke as a good comrade and +familiar friend. We hunted together for days in the ducal forests +slaying the wild bulls and bears by the hundreds; and when we returned +to the palace the merry-making began. There would be feasting and +drinking; the most enchanting music by a band of Bohemian players; the +court-fools would amuse us with all sorts of buffoonery; and when any +of the jovial company succumbed to the beaker and tumbled under the +table the attendants carried them to bed. Not infrequently it happened +that his grace and myself would<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[Pg 115]</a></span> be the only two left at the table—we +being able to stand more than the others.</p> + +<p>At times, too, I would entertain the company by relating the most +wonderful tales of my pilgrimage, which were listened to with close +attention.</p> + +<p>In all this time I had not seen a single woman about the palace.</p> + +<p>The grand-duchess was absent on a pilgrimage to Berdiczov, in +fulfillment of a vow. I learned from one of the guests that the duke's +marriage had not been blessed with an heir, and this was why the +duchess had undertaken the devout journey. As she knew she should be +absent several weeks, she took with her all the women servants, as +well as her ladies-in-waiting—from which I guessed the fair Persida +to be a shrewd, as well as a beautiful woman.</p> + +<p>I waited her grace's return with no little apprehension, for, with the +exception of the grand duke himself, every one about the palace knew +that Zdenko Kochanovszki had been a devoted admirer of the lady before +her marriage. Indeed, it was said that her marriage to the rich old +duke had sent the youthful Zdenko on his pilgrimage.</p> + +<p>That all this was unknown to his grace was certain, else the reception +accorded to me, whom he believed to be his former boon companion, +would not have been so cordial.</p> + +<p>There would be some sport when the lady returned home.</p> + +<p>Would she, too, see in me her quondam admirer? What would happen to me +if the eyes of a loving<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[Pg 116]</a></span> woman should prove more keen than those of +her husband? What would be the result if she saw through my +masquerade? If she should say: "Away with this rogue—he is a +deceiver! I know what dwells in the eyes of the true Zdenko, for I +have looked into them. These are not Zdenko's eyes."</p> + +<p>And again: what would happen if she should believe me to be her +one-time lover? and question me as her husband had done: "Do you +remember the promise we gave to each other?" And, suppose I should be +as lucky in guessing the reply as before!</p> + +<hr class="thin" /> + +<p>The duke spoke boastfully of his dragoon's victory over the haidemaken +before the walls of Berdiczov monastery. The robbers had been mowed +down like grain; only the leader and a few of his men had escaped by +the skin of their teeth; their field-gun had been captured and the +gunner hanged on one of the tallest trees—your honors may guess that +I took good care not to deny this statement!</p> + +<p>I praised the duke's heroism, and listened attentively to his tales +about the terrible haidemaken, as if I had never heard of them before.</p> + +<p>At last, one fine day, the pilgrims returned from Berdiczov; and the +joyous sound of women's voices was heard in the palace. Master and man +hastened to welcome the fair ones. I alone had no one to greet.</p> + +<p>I was very curious to see what manner of woman the beautiful Persida +might be—she for whose sake the owner of my name had gone out into +the wide world.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[Pg 117]</a></span>The duke hastened to assist her from the carriage on the arrival of +the caravan. She was very graceful—tall, with a pale face, large, +dark languishing eyes, full red lips, and coal black hair.</p> + +<p>When her spouse pressed his moist moustache to her lips, she made a +grimace. He was overjoyed at her return. The duke's guests and +attendants welcomed the returned duchess, each in their own fashion; +the former pressed their lips to her hand; the latter kissed the hem +of her robe. I did not want my first meeting with her grace to take +place in the presence of the entire household; but the duke called me +from the hall, where I had withdrawn, and said:</p> + +<p>"See here, my love, who is this? Look at him, and tell me if you +recognize the lad?"</p> + +<p>I was afraid to meet the glance which scrutinized my features—I felt +that I should be compelled to blurt out:</p> + +<p>"I am Baran, gunner of the haidemaken."</p> + +<p>"You don't recognize him, do you?" again said the duke. "I knew you +wouldn't. 'Tis our long absent comrade Zdenko Kochanovszki."</p> + +<p>For one single instant I saw into that woman's soul. At mention of my +name, a sudden light leapt into her eyes—a world of passion flamed +for one brief instant.</p> + +<p>Her husband had not seen it, only I. Then the beautiful eyes became +cold again, and indifferent, and the queenly head was gravely bent in +recognition of an old acquaintance, the slender fingers were extended +for the formal kiss of greeting.</p> + +<p>She did not vouchsafe another glance toward me,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[Pg 118]</a></span> but turned toward the +duke, laid her hand on his arm, and said with sudden friendliness:</p> + +<p>"<i>Comment vous portez-vous, mon petit drôle?</i>"</p> + +<p>Although her grace took no further notice of me, I saw my way clear +for the future.</p> + +<p>With the return of the duchess the household regulations underwent a +complete change. The noisy tipplers received their <i>congé</i>; the +nightly carousals came to an end. Quite a different mode of life had +been prescribed by the prior of the monastery for the ducal pair, if +they wished his blessing to have the desired effect. All fast days +were to be strictly observed; they might eat only sparingly of the +plainest food—only of those dishes which conduce to strength: snails, +frogs, and those vegetables which grow under ground.</p> + +<p>This sort of diet, as you may guess, was not suited to the palates of +the duke's guests. One after another took his departure, until none +remained but myself; and I had become indispensable to his grace, +because of my ability to amuse him with adventurous tales.</p> + +<p>Every evening the duchess would send for me to read aloud in a +religious book, about saints, until the duke would become sleepy. Her +grace continued to treat me with extreme reserve; she never lifted her +eyes to mine when she spoke to me, but always kept them lowered, as if +she were addressing her remarks to my boots.</p> + +<p>She appeared to be extraordinarily pious; she would repeat a long +prayer before and at the end of every meal. She never called me by +name—always "Sir." Indeed, the only time she unbent from her frigid +re<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[Pg 119]</a></span>serve, was, when she patted her husband's fat, bearded cheek, or +pulled his moustache, to restore him to a good humor; but these +occasions were rare.</p> + +<p>Before the duke retired for the night, the duchess prepared with her +own fair hands his slumber draught, the recipe for which she had +received from the prior of Berdiczov monastery. It was composed of all +sorts of costly spices—an enumeration of which I may repeat later, +should I take up the trade of concocting various potations, the +efficacy of which may not be doubted.</p> + +<p>The chief ingredient of the duke's sleeping potion was hot, red wine; +and he was wont to smack his lips and exclaim after he had emptied the +glass:</p> + +<p>"Ah!—my love, that has quite rejuvenated me." He would spring lightly +as a youth from his arm-chair, take his wife's hand, and gallantly +conduct her to their private chambers, leaving me to the solitary +perusal of the pious volume—to learn what had happened to St. +Genevieve, when Attila's Huns besieged Paris.</p> + +<p>One evening we were engaged as usual with our instructive reading. The +duke and his wife were seated in front of the fire-place; I, as +always, occupied a chair at the table on which rested the ponderous +"History of the Saints and Martyrs." I had been reading for an hour +and more, how St. Genevieve had relieved Paris a second time from +famine, when the duke suddenly interrupted to say he was so thirsty he +must beg that his nightly potion be given to him at once. His wife +prepared it for him; but, instead of rising to retire to his own rooms +as usual, after he had emptied<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[Pg 120]</a></span> the glass, he settled himself back in +his chair, clasped his hands over his paunch, and in a few minutes his +powerful snoring again interrupted the reading.</p> + +<p>The duchess looked at him for several moments with an indescribable +expression on her lovely face—a mixture of loathing, rage, and +contempt; then, she sprang to her feet, came swiftly toward the table +where I was sitting, and gave it so vigorous a thrust with her foot +that it toppled over and fell, together with the Saints and Martyrs, +to the floor with a loud noise. His grace did not stir; his snores +continued with unabated vigor.</p> + +<p>Before I had recovered from my astonishment at her grace's behavior, +she seated herself on my knee and flung her arms around my neck:</p> + +<p>"So you have come back to me, Zdenko? Tell me, do you still love me?" +she asked in a passionate whisper, at the same time making it +impossible for me to reply—</p> + +<p>"Stop!" here interrupted the chair: "I don't quite understand how that +could be?"</p> + +<p>"I do," promptly, and succinctly interposed the prince. "Continue, +prisoner, what happened next?"</p> + +<p>I hardly know how to tell it, your highness. It was like a dream of +paradise! I knew that every kiss I received and returned was deceit, +robbery, sacrilege; I knew I was cheating the house which sheltered +me; the master of the house who fed me; the unknown man whose name I +bore—the woman—God—the devil—all—all. And yet, were you to ask me +what I should do were I to be placed in the same situation again, I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[Pg 121]</a></span> +should reply: "Just what I did then—and if it cost me my life!"</p> + +<p>"Hardened reprobate!" exclaimed the chair in a tone of reprimand. Then +he dictated to the notary: "<i>Adulterium cum stellionatum</i>—"</p> + +<p>"But," hastily interposed the prince, "he did not begin it. In this +case, as in that of Father Adam: the woman was to blame. The prisoner +will continue."</p> + +<p>I know it was a great crime—I know it very well, and it oppresses my +soul to this day, although I have received absolution for it. In that +moment of oblivion to all things earthly, the lovely Persida whispered +in my ear:</p> + +<p>"Zdenko, if you could journey to the Holy Land for love of me you +could also endure a season of purgatory for my sake, could you not?"</p> + +<p>Without stopping to consider, I answered:</p> + +<p>"Certainly I could!"</p> + +<p>"Very well, then, do not confess this sin which is half mine. Do not +confide it to priest, or saint, for no matter to whom you might +confess, misfortune would come to me as well as to you."</p> + +<p>I promised not to confess the sin; but I went about with it weighting +my soul, much as a wounded stag roams the forest with a dart in his +vitals.</p> + +<p>The old duke at last became so devout that he compelled every member +of his household to repair to the confessional in his private chapel, +every fast day. There was nothing to be seen of the priest who +received the penitents, but his hand, in which he held a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[Pg 122]</a></span> long ivory +wand with which he would touch the penitent as a sign that absolution +had been granted.</p> + +<p>The duke confessed first; after him the duchess; then I, the +house-friend, and major-domo of the ducal household. When my turn +came, I took my place before the lattice and said to the confessor: +"Father, will you give me your word of honor that you will never tell +what I confess to you?"</p> + +<p>"Don't ask such silly questions, my son," he replied. "Don't you know +that the secrets of the confessional are inviolably sacred?"</p> + +<p>"But, suppose you should tell them sometime?" I persisted.</p> + +<p>"Then I should be burned at the stake."</p> + +<p>"Has it never happened that a priest betrayed the secrets confided to +him in the confessional?" I asked again.</p> + +<p>"Such a case is not on record, my son. Not even the confession of a +murderer may be revealed, though the priest knows that an innocent man +will be hanged for the crime. He dare not speak to prevent the law +from committing another murder. On the other hand, many a priest has +suffered martyrdom rather than betray the secrets confided to him. An +illustrious example is Saint Nepomuck, of whom I dare say you have +heard?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, I have read about John Nepomucene; but are you a saint of that +order?"</p> + +<p>"The vows I have taken, my son, are the same he took."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[Pg 123]</a></span>"That is not enough, father; you must swear to me that you will never +reveal what I tell you."</p> + +<p>And his reverence had to yield to my importunate request before I +would make my confession to him. After he had solemnly sworn never to +reveal what I should tell him, I made a clean breast of +everything—and a rare list it was I can tell you!</p> + +<p>At the last transgression, however, I made a pause. I remembered what +Persida had said to me. And yet, the sin I shared with her was the +very one that most oppressed my soul.</p> + +<p>The father noticed my hesitation, and said:</p> + +<p>"My son, you are keeping back something. You have not told me +everything. It is not likely that a stately young gentleman like +yourself lives only on caraway-soup! There are many handsome women in +this city; every one of them confesses her foibles—you, surely, are +not the only saint about here! Remember, if you withhold but a single +transgression, your tortures in purgatory will be the same as for +nine-hundred and ninety-nine."</p> + +<p>The reverend father continued to threaten me with purgatorial fires, +until at last I confided in him the secret which was only half mine. I +had no sooner done so than I regretted it; I would have given anything +could I have recalled my words—nay, I would willingly have journeyed +straightway to purgatory, as I had told Persida I would, rather than +betray the secret we shared together. But the secrets of a sinful love +have wings—they will escape somehow.</p> + +<p>When I bent forward to receive the reverend father's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[Pg 124]</a></span> benediction, he +gave me such a thump on the head with his wand that the spot remained +sore to the touch for several days.</p> + +<p>"He absolves one with a will, and no mistake!" I said to myself as I +rose to go my way. It occurred to me for an instant, that it would be +exceedingly comical if, instead of a priest, it had been the duke who +received my confession. I turned to look toward his grace's arm-chair, +and was relieved to see that his burly form occupied it, and that he +was wrapped in devout slumber.</p> + + +<p class="newsection">THE IRON NECKLACE.</p> + +<p>Freed from the burden of my transgressions, I proceeded to do what is +usually done by the prodigal sons who have been relieved of their old +debts—I set about at once to make new ones.</p> + +<p>I looked forward with impatience for evening to arrive, for the hour +of instructive reading in the book of Saints and Martyrs.</p> + +<p>On this particular evening the duke was even more friendly toward me +than usual; he jested with me, and frequently compelled me to exchange +glasses with him as a sign of his cordial friendship.</p> + +<p>When the hour arrived for the duchess to prepare the "rejuvenating +sleeping potion," his grace became actually boisterous; his fat face +grew crimson, his rotund paunch shook like jelly, with his incessant +laughter.</p> + +<p>"See here, comrade," he exclaimed, taking from his wife's hand the +goblet in which the hot, spiced wine<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[Pg 125]</a></span> was steaming, "this is a drink +of paradise! When I have emptied it into my stomach, I fly direct to +paradise—not the one described by our holy men, where all the men are +old, and all the women pious; where there is neither eating nor +drinking and where there are no amusements save harp-playing and psalm +singing—no, I fly straightway to the improved paradise of the +Mohammedans, where there is wine to drink and women to admire. There +an enchanting Greek <i>Hetäre</i> offers you the wine of Cyprus; the Roman +bacchante offers Falernian wine; the Spanish donna serves Maderia; the +Lesbian siren gives you nectar; the Persian bayadere brings Shiraz; +the Wallachian fairy, Tokay; and the negress Abelera dips up sparkling +Bordeaux in the hollow of her dusky palm and holds it to your +lips—each more beautiful than the other, until at last you cannot +decide which of the wines is the most delicious. That is <i>I</i> cannot, +for you have not yet made the journey. But you shall; for are not we +good comrades—you and I? Is it not meet that I should let my heart's +brother enjoy paradisal delights with me? To be sure it is! Very good! +You shall go in my stead this very evening to Mohammed's paradise—but +only this once, mind you! Here, take the glass, empty it to the +dregs!" I was exceedingly embarrassed; I looked questioningly toward +the duchess, who was seated on the arm of her husband's chair. He +could not see her nod her head as if to say, "Do as you are bid."</p> + +<p>I took the goblet and emptied it to the dregs. Almost immediately I +was overcome by a languor that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[Pg 126]</a></span> seemed to transform my material body +to vapor. I rose from the earth to the clouds which assumed the most +fantastic shapes; on and on the breeze wafted me; over enchanting +regions, amid talking trees and singing fruits; across a sea of +radiant light swept by waves of harmony—amid music, and color, and +perfumes, the quintessence of sweetness, amid gorgeous flames which +became forms of transcendent loveliness: Delilah; Bathsheba; Salome; +Laïs; Aspasia; Cleopatra; Semiramis; Circe; and the dusky Atalanta. +The seductive forms gathered around me; they pressed toward me, +smiling alluringly. They thrust on to every one of my fingers rings +that glittered with diamonds, rubies, sapphires, until my hands became +so heavy I could not lift them. Their embraces strangled me; their +kisses burned on my face and neck like fire; the dusky Atalanta's +coral lips drew the blood from my veins—</p> + +<p>"Are you never going to waken from your satanic dream?" impatiently +interrupted the chair.</p> + +<p>"Let him dream—it is rather pleasant," interposed the prince; but +Hugo said:</p> + +<p>"I am awake. The place in which I found myself, when I opened my eyes, +was not Mohammed's paradise, but an underground dungeon, the walls of +which were dripping with moisture. The flickering light of a small +lamp faintly illumined the narrow cell; and the rings which weighted +my hands were heavy iron chains that creaked and clinked every +movement I made. The kisses which burned on my face and neck were not +from the lips of Delilah, Circe, and the rest; but from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[Pg 127]</a></span> those +horrible hundred-legged creatures, scolopendra, which covered my body; +and the dusky Atalanta, who drew the blood from my neck, was nothing +less than a hideous vampyre. The embraces which strangled me were not +from the white arms of enchantresses, but from an iron band two inches +thick and three fingers wide, fastened about my neck, and secured to a +ring in the wall by a chain, that was only long enough to allow me to +reach and convey to my mouth the mouldy bread and jug of water placed +by my side—"</p> + +<p>"Served you right, you godless miscreant!" interpolated the chair in a +severe tone. "You got your just deserts at last!"</p> + +<p>At first—continued the prisoner—I consoled myself with the foolish +thought that I was still under the influence of the sleeping potion. I +remembered that those persons who eat the flesh of sharks are said to +have such dreams: delightful visions at first, followed by the +tortures of martyrdom.</p> + +<p>But the iron neck-band was too painful a reality for me to remain long +in doubt as to whether I was awake, or dreaming. The cold, hard, heavy +ring betrothed me to death!</p> + +<p>How long a time I passed in thinking over what had happened I can't +say; there was no night, no day, in that dungeon; nor was I told by +sleep and hunger when it was midnight or noon.</p> + +<p>The lamp in my cell was a perpetual one, for the oil did not grow +less; it was there, doubtless, to reveal to me all the horrors of my +surroundings. Reptiles, all manner of creeping and crawling creatures +moved<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[Pg 128]</a></span> over the stone floor and walls; vampyres hung in rows from the +ceiling, watching me with their garnet eyes, ready to flash down on me +the moment I lost consciousness in sleep.</p> + +<p>At last a sound roused me from the stupor into which I had fallen; a +key turned in the lock, the iron door opened, and a tall man, whose +face was hidden by a capuchin, entered, with a jug of water and a loaf +of bread.</p> + +<p>"Well, my lad," he exclaimed, on seeing that I had not touched the +bread or the water by my side. "Do you propose to starve yourself?"</p> + +<p>His voice sounded strangely familiar; I did not have to trouble my +brain guessing where I had heard it before; he pushed back his +capuchin, and I recognized the haidemaken priest who had performed the +ceremony of confirmation over me in the cavern.</p> + +<p>"You are the haidemaken pater?" I whispered hoarsely, not trusting +myself to speak aloud.</p> + +<p>"Then you recognize me, do you?" he returned, laughing. "I had an idea +you would deny all knowledge of our former comradeship."</p> + +<p>"Are you the gaoler here?" I asked.</p> + +<p>"The gaoler?" he repeated, laughing again. "Not by a good deal! I am +the court-confessor!" He sat down on the stone seat to which I was +chained, and continued: "I dare say you are curious to learn how I +come to be here? Well, when the duke's dragoons attacked the +haidemaken at Berdiczov, I hastily donned my chasuble and capuchin, +trusting to the vestments to save my life, which they did; but I was +taken pris<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[Pg 129]</a></span>oner and brought to the duke. I could not deny that I was a +haidemak, but his grace evidently had use for a person like myself, +for he said to me: "You deserve to be hanged, reverend father, but I +will spare your life on condition that you accept a proposition I +shall offer you: I want you to act the part of court-confessor for a +season, to receive the confessions of those persons I shall send to +you. I suspect my wife of infidelity, but cannot find out who is the +partner of her guilt. They both confess to the court-chaplain I have +no doubt, but he is an honest old saint who would let himself be torn +to pieces rather than betray the secrets confided to him in the +confessional. Now, you are of a different pattern; it will not matter +to you if the fires of purgatory are heated a few degrees hotter for +your purification. If you don't accept my conditions you will have the +opportunity at once of testing the temperature of purgatory; if you +accept you shall have a respite. What do you say? Will you become my +court-confessor?"</p> + +<p>"You may believe, lad, that I would have acceded to a much more +difficult proposition in order to save my neck from the gallows; so I +became confessor to the ducal household. When I saw you coming toward +the confessional I recognized you at once, and guessed that you would +have some pretty sins to get rid of. I was not surprised when you told +me of your sinful dalliance with the beautiful young duchess; and +quite envied your good fortune. I said to myself, 'I will not betray +the lad; but make him do penance for the sin,' so I ordered you to put +seven dried peas in each<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[Pg 130]</a></span> shoe and journey on foot to the shrine of +the Holy Virgin at Berdiczov. Had you been content to do as I bade +you, you would not be here now; but you began to haggle with me about +the peas—you urged me to let you boil them before you put them into +your shoes; and, to win my indulgence, you told me of the good turn +you had done the monks of Berdiczov by betraying the haidemaken into +the hands of the duke's dragoons. Ha! but didn't I want to fly at your +throat when I heard that! I wanted to strangle you, I was so enraged +to hear that it was you who had betrayed us and frustrated our fine +plans to secure the monks' treasure. However, I contented myself with +giving you a sound rap on the head and straightway communicated to his +grace what you had confessed. You have got for your reward the entire +ducal property, for you are chained to it so securely you cannot get +away from it."</p> + +<p>The next query I put to the cursed haidemaken priest was: "What has +been done with the duchess?"</p> + +<p>"You need not trouble yourself about her highness, my son; the duke is +too shrewd a man of the world to make public the disgrace of his +house. The beautiful Persida does not know that she has been betrayed. +The causes assigned for your incarceration are forgery; the usurpation +of the name of a noble knight; and for being a member of a robber +band—for all of which you deserve death. That you have been condemned +to suffer a hundred deaths for your dalliance with the lovely Persida, +instead of only one for the transgressions assigned, no one will ever +know. As<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[Pg 131]</a></span> for the duchess: one of these fine days she will, after +eating a peach or a pear, get a severe colic that will result in her +death. The funeral ceremonies in the Vieznovieczky palace will be most +imposing—and that will be the end of her grace. It might come to +pass, however, that the obsequies of his grace might precede those of +the duchess. It depends on which of the ducal pair gets the better of +the other! But, you have only yourself to think of, my son. I am here +to offer you one of two alternatives: Ask to be tried before a court +which will sentence you to immediate death on the wheel—unless the +duke out of compassion for a good comrade orders your head to be cut +off. The other alternative is: Elect to remain in this hole, chained +to the wall, battling with vermin while you live, and becoming food +for them when the breath leaves your body. <i>Tertium non datur.</i>"</p> + +<p>To this I made answer that I preferred to be executed without delay, +even were I to be broiled on a gridiron over a slow fire. I was quite +ready to die.</p> + +<p>"Very well, my son, then I will proceed at once to administer to you +the last sacraments—"</p> + +<p>"Go to the devil!" I cried furiously, when he approached me with the +wafer he had taken from his pocket. "I won't have any more of your +cursed mummery. You are no better than I am—you too are sure to go to +hell!"</p> + +<p>"That is more than likely, my son," responded the accursed priest +composedly. "The only difference between us is in the manner of our +journeying thither. You will travel on foot—I on wheels. So, don't +you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[Pg 132]</a></span> think it would be well to let me give you a lift on the way? With +the heavy pack of sins on your back you might hang on to the +tail-board of my wagon!"</p> + +<p>I could not help but laugh at the rascal, so I said: "Very well, if +your blessing will help me over the road more quickly, go ahead and +let's have it!—and may the devil fly away with you!"</p> + +<p>He thrust the wafer down my throat and I had hardly got it comfortably +swallowed when I fell into a deep sleep. The wafer contained a +powerful narcotic.</p> + + +<p class="newsection">THE WHITE DOVE.</p> + +<p>In my death-like sleep I still saw the dungeon walls, still felt the +iron fetters on neck, hands and feet. Instead of the tiny lamp flame, +however, which had only dimly lighted the musty cell, a radiant light +now filled it—a light that came from overhead. When, with great +difficulty, I lifted my face toward the ceiling, I beheld an ethereal +form bending above me; her white garments gleamed like snow under +brilliant sunshine; her blue mantle was like the starry sky of +evening. The coronet above her brow was like the crescent moon. The +face was so radiant I could not look at it—my eyes were dazzled as +when I gazed into the noon-day sun. The radiant vision held on her +right arm an infant; the forefinger of its right hand was pressed +against its lips. I believed the Holy Virgin had descended to me; but +when the vision came nearer to me, kissed me, and called me by name, +then I knew<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[Pg 133]</a></span> that it was my Madus—my poor deserted, forgotten Madus!</p> + +<p>I was so ashamed of the fetters which bound me. If she should ask why +I wore them, how could I reply? "I wear them because of the beautiful +woman who caused me to forget you."</p> + +<p>But she did not ask any questions; she smiled tenderly, and said in +her gentle tones:</p> + +<p>"My poor Baran! How unhappy you seem! Cheer up—we are come to help +you—to release you. My home is now in paradise—I will tell you how I +came to dwell there. On Christmas eve, I was kneeling in front of the +holy image you brought to me from Berdiczov, expecting every minute +the arrival of the little guest for my Bethlehem crib, when I heard a +familiar step outside the cottage. It was my father. I hurriedly +snatched the blessed image from the table to hide it, for I knew the +sight of it would anger him; but I was seized with such a terrible +pain in my heart I had to press the image against it with both hands. +I hardly recognized my father. His face was fearfully cut, and +mutilated; one eye was gone. "Your precious Baran betrayed us," he +gasped, glaring at me with the remaining eye. I opened my lips to +speak for you, but before I could utter a word he said again: "You are +his accomplice, you miserable creature! What are you hiding in your +breast?" I could not lie, so I told him it was the image of the +Blessed Virgin. "A gift from the Berdiczov monks I'll warrant!" he +shrieked, seizing my hair and flinging me on the floor. I heard the +keen blade of his cimeter hiss through the air<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[Pg 134]</a></span>—then, it seemed as if +the sky fell over me. The next instant I found myself in paradise, +with every pain changed to bliss. I may not reveal to you the secrets +of that blessed realm, my Baran. I may only tell you that our little +child is with me—he was born in heaven. This is he—he is come to +save his father from death."</p> + +<p>As she spake these words the child bent toward me and took hold of the +chains which bound my feet and hands. They fell asunder at his touch. +But the iron band around my neck was too wide for his tiny fingers to +clasp; it was impossible for him to break it. But he did what +twenty-four horses could not have done: with one pull he drew from the +wall the iron ring to which the neck-band was secured by a chain.</p> + +<p>"My blessed child!" I exclaimed, kissing the little hands. "If your +strength is so great, then seize hold of my hair, and bear me with you +to your home above the clouds."</p> + +<p>The little one laid his finger against his lips as a sign that he +could not, or dared not speak; but the mother answered for him:</p> + +<p>"No, my good Baran, you cannot come to us. Before that will be +possible you will have to endure many more trials in this world of +shadows. You will have to abide here until you shall have performed a +good deed for which some one will say to you: 'God reward you.' One +single good deed, my Baran, will do more toward winning paradise than +a hundred pilgrimages, or a thousand prayers."</p> + +<p>How sinful I am, your honors, is proved by the fact that I am still +alive; and as it is not likely that I shall<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[Pg 135]</a></span> have an opportunity to +perform the deed, which will call down on me a blessing from heaven, I +shall never again behold my little angel son, and his mother, my +sainted Madus.</p> + +<p>After the vision had spoken she beckoned me to follow her. The child +touched the wall of the dungeon with his fingers, the stones parted, +and we passed through the opening. The radiant form of my Madus +illuminated the passage amid the rocks, the long flights of stairs we +ascended. We seemed to thread our way through the catacombs. At last +we emerged from the subterranean region into a dense forest. I saw how +the shining garments of my conductress swept over the moss, giving to +it, to the flowers, the grass, the trees, the same soft radiance that +emanated from her form. Gradually the distance between me and the +lovely vision widened; my feet became leaden; I could hardly move my +limbs. Then the radiant appearance lost its human shape, until at last +it seemed to me that I was looking down a long avenue between the +trees at a faint glimmering light at the further end. The cold air +blew across my face, and I awoke.</p> + +<p>I was in the forest of my dream, around me were mammoth trees between +which, a long way off, I could see the glimmering light of the open. +The same beggar raiment I had worn to journey to Lemberg clothed me; +my crutch, emptied of its gold, lay by my side. I made my way toward +the light at the edge of the forest. I could see no signs of human +habitation anywhere. How far I was from the scene of my magnificence +and disgrace I cannot say. When I looked at my beggar's<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[Pg 136]</a></span> rags, I could +easily have believed my Lemberg experience an evil dream, had not the +iron band about my neck been too convincing a proof of its reality.</p> + +<p>"Well," here observed the prince, drawing a long breath, "that is a +most remarkable story!—a miraculous rescue of a transgressor through +the aid of the Almighty Father!"</p> + +<p>To this the chair added: "I am inclined to believe that the prisoner's +escape from the dungeon was effected through earthly, rather than +heavenly assistance. It is more likely that the haidemaken priest, +bribed by the duchess, conveyed the prisoner to the forest, and clad +him in the rags which had been procured from the Jew Malchus."</p> + +<p>"<i>I</i> believe the story just as the accused told it," asseverated his +highness. "There are a number of similar cases on record—of notorious +bandits having been released from imprisonment by the hands of an +unborn babe."</p> + +<p>"And I assure your highness"—Hugo ventured to insist—"that +everything happened just as I related it. From the moment of my waking +in the forest, a white dove nestled on my left shoulder, and +accompanied me wherever I went. If I turned to look at it, when it +would coo into my ear, it would fly to my right shoulder; but it +seemed to prefer sitting on my left."</p> + +<p>"Is the white dove sitting on either of your shoulders now?" queried +the chair.</p> + +<p>"No, your honor," sadly replied the prisoner; "it is not there now. I +will tell you later how I came to lose it."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[Pg 137]</a></span>The prince announced his decision as follows:</p> + +<p>"As the prisoner's release from the dungeon was accomplished through a +miracle from heaven, it would not be seemly for a human judge to +oppose divine favor. This transgression, therefore, may also be erased +from the register."</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[Pg 138]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_IV" id="PART_IV"></a>PART IV.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">WITH THE TEMPLARS.</span></h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IV_I" id="CHAPTER_IV_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">IN THE HOLLOW TREE.</span></h3> + + +<p>With a ragged mantle on my back, a crutch in my hand, an iron band +about my neck, and the white dove on my shoulder, where could I have +gone?—even had I wished to leave the forest.</p> + +<p>The rags and the crutch were fitting equipment for a beggar; but what +should I have replied had anyone asked me why I wore the iron band on +my neck? I was disgusted with the world and its wickedness.</p> + +<p>Overwhelmed with remorse for the sins I had committed, I resolved to +become a hermit and do penance—I would remain in the forest and adopt +the rigorous life of an ascetic.</p> + +<p>After a brief search I discovered a brook that would supply me with +fresh water; hard by its banks an oak tree, many centuries old, with a +large cavity in the trunk, offered the shelter I should require. I +collected moss and dry leaves for my bed; for nourishment<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[Pg 139]</a></span> there was a +plentitude of nuts and wild fruits, and edible fungi. Wild bees +furnished me with sweets.</p> + +<p>I bound together two dry branches in form of a cross, set it up +between two large stones, and performed my daily devotions in front of +it.</p> + +<p>During the day I roamed through the forest collecting stores for the +winter; I laid up a supply of dried fruit, nuts, sow-bread and +honey—the last I found in the upper part of my tree-house, where a +swarm of bees had taken up their quarters.</p> + +<p>Of the raspberries which grew plentifully along the brook, I made a +sort of conserve, which I packed into boxes made of the bark of pine +trees. All these provisions I stored in my tree-house, which I had +firmly resolved never to quit.</p> + +<p>But one thought disquieted me. If I remained in the forest how could I +perform the good deed Madus had told me was necessary in order to win +paradise? If I passed all my days in the hollow tree beside the brook, +where no human being ever came near me, how was I to benefit my fellow +creatures? How win the "God will reward you"—the open sesame to +paradise? I pondered this over and over until at last an expedient +suggested itself to me, by which I could make known my existence to my +fellow-creatures and still remain in my hermitage. I looked about for +two broad flat stones; these I fastened together at one side with a +cord made of linden bark and hung them on the lower limb of a tree. +With a third stone for a clapper I rang my primitive bell three times +daily—morn, noon and evening—surely, I said to myself, some one will +hear<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[Pg 140]</a></span> the sound and come to see what is the meaning of it. When the +people in the neighborhood learn that a devout hermit is living in the +forest, they will visit him, and perhaps bestow alms on him.</p> + +<p>But, in vain I rang three times every day, no visitors came to my +hollow tree, save the fawns that came to drink at the brook, and the +wild cats that came to prey on them. Many a time I rescued a young +deer from the claws of the feline enemy. It was to be regretted that +the dumb beasts I rescued could not have thanked me for the good deed. +One day I returned later than was my wont from collecting moss and +ferns to protect me from the cold of winter (I had already fashioned a +door of willow withes to keep the snow out of my tree-house). What was +my surprise to find the door open, and all my provisions gone! Not a +trace of the nuts remained but the shells; there was not a vestige of +the dried fruit; the boxes of raspberry conserve were lying about on +the ground, broken and crushed, as if they had been trodden under foot +by the marauders. Even the tent-shaped honey-comb in the upper portion +of my dwelling was gone, the plundered bees were buzzing angrily +around the tree outside.</p> + +<p>I could hardly refrain from uttering a malediction on the thief who +had despoiled me of my winter store; but I remembered my pious vows, +and reproached myself instead: "Shame on you, pious anchorite," I +said, "were you so wedded to earthly possessions that the loss of them +rouses your anger? You were too proud of your store. You were going to +play the sovereign in the wilderness. Others had an equal right to +that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[Pg 141]</a></span> which you imagined belonged only to yourself. The truly pious +anchorite does not lay up stores for the morrow. He depends on the +Master to supply his needs. He must pay heed to nothing save his +prayers for the wicked, and praises for the Master. You have been +fitly punished for your arrogance." I said further, "Perhaps this has +happened for the best. Who can say but the despoiler prayed that God +might reward the one who had placed the provisions in the hollow tree. +If so be that was the case, it was a fine hunger it took all my store +to appease!"</p> + +<p>And again: "Who knows? Perhaps the hungry one is a great prophet—St. +Peter himself, maybe. I have heard that that distinguished saint +occasionally visits a poor man, and eats up a winter's supply of +provisions, only to return it an hundred fold. If so be it was St. +Peter then he will return tomorrow and so fill your tree with viands +and treasure you will never again want for anything—and, maybe, he +will also bestow on you a passport that will admit you to paradise +whenever you choose to go!"</p> + +<p>Consoling myself with such thoughts, I sounded the bell as usual for +vespers; then I drank heartily of brook water, lay down on my soft +bed, and dreamed until morning, of flying hams and kindred paradisal +delights. At sunrise, I rang the early matin bell; then hurried away, +in order not to disturb the prophet when he came to prepare the +surprise for me.</p> + +<p>I spent the entire day wandering about the forest, guessing what my +benefactor would bestow on me in return for the nuts, fruits and honey +he had taken<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[Pg 142]</a></span>—would it be the widow's oil-cruse with its +never-failing contents? or, a pair of bread-supplying ravens? or, a +barley loaf from Mount Gilead? or, a swarm of those savory locusts +which had served as fare for John the Baptist?</p> + +<p>In my rambling I came across a heap of beech-nuts. I hesitated to +gather them. What need to take the trouble? There would be plenty, and +to spare, in the hollow tree. However, I filled my pockets with the +nuts, then turned my face homeward.</p> + +<p>As I was rather late, I rang for vespers, and told my beads (I had +made a beautiful rosary of acorns) before going to my hermitage. A +deep growl came from the hollow tree when I approached it.</p> + +<p>"He is here!" I exclaimed joyfully. "He is waiting to see me. That he +is no ordinary person I can tell by his voice!"</p> + +<p>I crept on hands and knees toward the tree, and peeped into the +cavity. The next instant I was on my feet, hurling a million +<i>donnerwetters</i> at the shaggy bear, whose monstrous body quite filled +the only apartment of my dwelling.</p> + +<p>I forgot that I was an anchorite, and cursed the brute roundly—</p> + +<p>"<i>Votum violatum</i>," dictated the chair. "Broken vow—blasphemy! +<i>Capite plectetur.</i>"</p> + +<p>"By my faith!" interposed the prince with considerable emphasis. "I +would have sworn too! <i>Qui bene distinguit, bene docet.</i> How goes the +paragraph relating to blasphemy? 'He that curses his fellowman'—and +so forth. But, it doesn't say anything about pun<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[Pg 143]</a></span>ishment for him who +curses his 'fellow-bear.' You see, therefore, that the <i>votum ruptum</i> +does not fit this crime, for it was not the prisoner who broke the vow +of the anchorite, but the bear; consequently bruin is the delinquent."</p> + +<p>"Very good," assented the chair. "Then the bear is the guilty party: +<i>ursus comburatur</i>! The robbery of the temple follows: I am curious to +hear how the prisoner will clear himself of that! That he will +accomplish it I am willing to wager my head!"</p> + +<p>What was I to do? continued Hugo, when the mayor had concluded his +remark. My house was occupied by a tenant who would not let me share +it with him. I had nowhere else to go. I could not find another +hermitage. If I could not be a hermit, I could become a +beggar—begging was also a way to gain a livelihood, and I possessed +the necessary equipment for it.</p> + +<p>In Poland, no one who can say: "Give me bread," needs die of hunger. +The iron band on my neck might, after all, be of advantage to me; it +would give me a sort of superiority over other mendicants. If I were +asked how I came by it, I should say that it had been forged on my +neck by the Saracens, who took me captive when I was in the Holy Land, +and because I had made my escape through a miracle, I continued to +wear the band as a penance.</p> + +<p>The good people to whom I told this story believed it; it brought me +many a groschen and carried me comfortably across Poland.</p> + +<p>I had no sooner crossed into Brandenburg (I was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[Pg 144]</a></span> on my way to my +native city, where I intended taking up the trade of my father, an +honest and respectable tanner) than I was surrounded by a crowd of +people—not a charitably disposed crowd, but inquisitive.</p> + +<p>They wanted to know where I came from, where was I going, who and what +was I and how I dared to have the impertinence to beg in their city.</p> + +<p>I replied that I was a pilgrim from the Holy Land; and that instead of +thinking it an impertinence for me to beg from them, they ought to +consider it a distinction to have in their community a mendicant with +an iron collar around his neck.</p> + +<p>But the Brandenburgers are inclined to believe themselves more clever +than the rest of the world. The bailiff seized me, dragged me to the +market place, where he proceeded to question me for the benefit of the +whole city.</p> + +<p>"Who are you?" he inquired.</p> + +<p>"I am hungry," I said in reply.</p> + +<p>"Where do you come from?"</p> + +<p>"From Jerusalem."</p> + +<p>"Don't you attempt to deceive me, sirrah! I know the way to Jerusalem. +Through what provinces did you journey?"</p> + +<p>"Through Marcomannia, and Scythia; through Bess Arabia, and Arabia +Petræa; through Bactria, and Mesopotamia; and now I come direct from +Caramania—"</p> + +<p>"Stop, stop! You are saying what is not true," interrupted the +bailiff. "Praise be to God! we Brandenburgers have maps, and know how +to get to foreign<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[Pg 145]</a></span> countries. The way to Palestine is through +Zingaria, Paflagonia, Cappadocia, and cinnamon-scented India.</p> + +<p>"Well," I explained, "I did travel through those countries too, but it +was at night, when I couldn't see to read their names on the +guide-boards."</p> + +<p>"And what means that iron band on your neck?"</p> + +<p>"That, your honor, was fastened about my neck by the black sultan, +Zagachrist, who held me captive fifty-two years and three days."</p> + +<p>"You are not yet thirty years old."</p> + +<p>"No, in this part of the world I am not; but in Abyssinia, where the +sun is so hot, the days contract to such an extent, that one of your +years here would be six there."</p> + +<p>"What an unconscionable liar you are!" exclaimed the bailiff. "Heat +does not contract. On the contrary, it expands, which accounts for the +days being longer in summer than in winter. We Brandenburgers know +that very well."</p> + +<p>He seized me by the collar, to drag me to prison, but I held back, and +said in a loud voice—loud enough for the crowd to hear:</p> + +<p>"I tell you I am right; heat does contract. Just you sit on a hot +stove and see if your leather breeches don't shrivel up under you."</p> + +<p>The crowd was on my side; but that trial in the market-place might +have resulted disastrously for me, had not a knight just then chanced +to ride that way. He wore on his head a plumed helmet; his body was +protected by a coat of mail. From his shoulders hung a crimson mantle, +on which was embroidered a large<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[Pg 146]</a></span> white cross. A heart-shaped shield +swung from the pommel of his saddle.</p> + +<p>My eyes were at once attracted to this shield, on which were the +ensigns armorial: a mounted knight like himself, and on the same horse +a ragged pilgrim of a like pattern with myself.</p> + +<p>"Ho, ho!" here interrupted the chair in triumph. "You may have been +able to hoodwink the Brandenburg bailiff, but you can't do the same +with me! You needn't try to make this court believe you saw anyone +wearing the coat-of-arms of an order that was abolished in the 14th +century."</p> + +<p>"I know very well, your honor, that the order of the Templars was +abolished at the time you mention, but a portion of them took refuge +in Brandenburg, where the order exists to this day under the name of +'Dornenritter.'"</p> + +<p>Having made this explanation, Hugo continued his confession:</p> + +<p>At sight of the Templar a great commotion arose among the people +crowding the market-place; the women pressed toward him to kiss the +hem of his mantle, in their enthusiasm almost dragging him from the +saddle. The knight had red hair, and a long beard of the same fiery +hue.</p> + +<p>"There is the red monk," said the bailiff to me. "Do you try to make +him believe you have been in Palestine? He has been there twice—once +by land and once by sea—and he has slaughtered more than two hundred +heathen and liberated thousands of pilgrims from<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[Pg 147]</a></span> slavery. Talk to +him; he will know how to question you."</p> + +<p>I was in a fix, and no mistake. The knight would be sure at once to +detect the errors of my geography.</p> + +<p>He rode quite close to me, passed his hand over his long beard and +examined me from head to foot with his keen eyes.</p> + +<p>"Can you prove to me that you come from the Holy Land?" he asked in a +voice so stern and deep-toned it made me start and tremble.</p> + +<p>But a lucky thought came to me; I had a convincing proof under my +arm—the old Turk's crutch, the shaft of which was closely wound with +brass wire in a fanciful pattern.</p> + +<p>"Will you examine this, Sir Knight?" I said in reply—holding the +crutch toward him. "You, who are familiar with the Arabic characters, +will find here a record of my wanderings—the entire history of my +wretched captivity, and miraculous deliverance."</p> + +<p>It was the knight's turn to start and tremble. I saw at once from his +countenance, that he knew no more about Arabic than—ah—than your +honor, and that he was afraid I might betray him, and prove to the +multitude that he had never trod the sacred soil of the Holy Land. The +hand he extended for the crutch trembled, but he preserved a bold +front, as he turned the brass-bound shaft around and around in his +fingers, and pretended to decipher the oriental characters. After +several minutes, he returned the crutch to me and said in an +impressive tone:</p> + +<p>"This is indeed Arabic—or, rather, Saracenic, the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[Pg 148]</a></span> language of +Turcomania. Your crutch, devout pilgrim, testifies to the truth of +everything you have told these good people. Come with me to my castle, +where you will be a welcome and honored guest."</p> + +<p>Before he had quite concluded this speech, the bailiff had lost +himself in the crowd—he was nowhere to be seen.</p> + +<p>I was hoisted to the shoulders of a pair of sturdy citizens, and, +accompanied by the shouting multitude, borne in triumph to the +Templars' castle, situated on a moat-encircled hill, a little distance +from the city.</p> + +<p>Here, I was committed to the care of the guards on duty; they stripped +me of my rags; lifted me into a vat of water, scrubbed me thoroughly, +combed and shaved my head, and then put on me a scarlet habit of +coarse cloth, which, to judge from its ample proportions, must once +have garbed the form of a brother whose conditions of life had been +more fortunate than mine.</p> + +<p>Attired thus, I was conducted to the refectory, where the red-bearded +knight and twelve of his companions were assembled.</p> + +<p>"<i>Quadraginta tonitrua</i>, lad, you please me well!" exclaimed the +red-bearded knight, who seemed to be the leader. "Never, in all my +life, have I ever heard so glib a tongue at lying as yours! You must +stop here with us. The devil has taken our sacristan—that's his habit +you've got on—he died of small-pox yesterday."</p> + +<p>You may imagine my feelings when I heard that I was wearing the +garment of a man that had succumbed to so loathsome a disease!</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[Pg 149]</a></span>I made bold to say that I had never learned the duties requisite to +the office of a sacristan.</p> + +<p>"<i>Per septem archidiabolos!</i>" merrily exclaimed the knight. "I believe +you. But, we will instruct you—never fear!"</p> + +<p>Here he noticed the iron band on my neck and added: "Ha, <i>Lucifer te +corripiat</i>! Why do you wear that curious band around your neck?"</p> + +<p>In reply I stammered something about a solemn vow, whereupon the +entire company burst into hearty laughter.</p> + +<p>"<i>Ut Belsebub te submergat in paludes inferni, trifurcifer!</i>" bawled +the red knight. "Either you wear the band in pursuance of a +vow—solemn or otherwise—or it was forged on your neck in punishment +for a theft. If the former, then continue to wear it to the end of +your days; if the latter, then we have an armorer who will relieve you +of it in short order."</p> + +<p>To this I made answer:</p> + +<p>"Though I wear the iron band because of a solemn vow, the Sir Knights +may believe it is in punishment for a theft."</p> + +<p>The merry company laughed again, and the armorer was summoned at once +to relieve me of the uncomfortable collar.</p> + + +<p class="newsection">BAPHOMET.</p> + +<p>I now believed I had ultimately attained what I most desired—a +comfortable position in a religious house, where I might pass the +remainder of my days in peace, and free from care. I should have no +further need to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[Pg 150]</a></span> trouble about providing for food and drink, and the +where to lay my head. My duties were light; I had to ring the bell for +prayers three times daily; keep clean the church vessels, and take +care of all the vestments. All my time not occupied with these simple +tasks, I was permitted to devote to pious contemplation. I soon won +the confidence of Knight Elias, the red-bearded superior. I was named +Eliezer. It had taken me six months and more to beg my way through +Poland, consequently, Passion week began soon after my arrival at the +Templars' castle. I was apprehensive that I should not be able +adequately to perform the duties requisite for my office during the +solemn season, as I was not yet sufficiently familiar with the Roman +Catholic service, having only lately become a neophite. But, when I +confided my doubts to Knight Elias, he replied encouragingly:</p> + +<p>"Don't you worry, Frater Eliezer, every night during the coming week +we shall rehearse scenes from the 'Passion Play,' which will make you +familiar with the services expected of you."</p> + +<p>This assurance gave me confidence, and I looked forward with +impatience to Maundy-Thursday, as on the evening of that day the +preparations for the devotional ceremonies were to begin.</p> + +<p>Maundy-Thursday arrived. In the evening, after I had closed and locked +the gates after vespers, Knight Elias bade me take a lamp, go to the +chapel, and wait there until the clock struck the hour of midnight, +when I should hear three taps on the door of the crypt. I was to open +the door without delay, receive with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[Pg 151]</a></span> becoming respect the guests who +would appear, and obey every order they might give me. I did not +betray the astonishment I felt on receiving this very singular behest. +I never was what may be termed "faint-hearted." I dare say because my +curiosity always was superior to my timidity; and I confess I was most +curious to see what manner of guests would come out of the crypt.</p> + +<p>The last stroke of twelve was followed by three raps on the crypt +door. I hastened to open it, and was amazed to find the stairway +leading to the tomb brilliantly lighted, and mounting it were a half +dozen or more female forms, clad in antique costumes—such as are seen +only in the canvases adorning the walls of churches and royal palaces.</p> + +<p>All the women were highly rouged and powdered; one had her eyebrows +penciled with black; another with minium, and another had hers tinted +with gold. All carried in their hands gaily colored wax tapers. They +were not in the least like the ghosts I had expected to see; and I was +not in the least frightened of them either!</p> + +<p>Young blood coursed through my veins then, and it flowed more swiftly +when my eyes rested on the beautiful visitors—even though they were +denizens of another world!</p> + +<p>The ghosts saw at once that it was not the old sacristan who had +admitted them; and believed it necessary to introduce themselves. The +first one said:</p> + +<p>"I am Jezebel, wife of King Ahab. Fetch the baptismal basin, I want to +perform my ablutions."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[Pg 152]</a></span>The second announced:</p> + +<p>"I am Salome, daughter of Herodias. Bring me the golden ciborium."</p> + +<p>The third said:</p> + +<p>"I am Bathsheba. Bring the sacred oil, I want some for my hair."</p> + +<p>The fourth:</p> + +<p>"I am Delilah. Bring a chalice, I want a drink."</p> + +<p>The fifth:</p> + +<p>"I am Ashtoreth. Bring the censer, I want some perfume."</p> + +<p>"I am Tamar," announced the sixth. "Bring a lachrymatory, I want to +fill it with my tears."</p> + +<p>There were seven in the company. The seventh had on her head a crown, +and was clad in a robe of gold-brocade with a long train. "I am +Mylitta, Queen of Sheba," she announced in a voice that sounded like a +sweet-toned bell. "Bring me the pyx."</p> + +<p>Now, although the rest of the orders had confounded me with their +impiety, I had obeyed them, because I had been commanded to do so. +This last, however, made me hesitate; I could not lay sacrilegious +hands on so holy a vessel.</p> + +<p>I shuddered, and looked with horrified eyes at the commanding phantom. +Suddenly, she lifted her arm, and gave me a sound blow on the back, at +the same time screaming:</p> + +<p>"Don't you hear me, dolt? I want the pyx." Feeling convinced that +further hesitation to obey this visitant from another world would not +be well for me, I went to the altar, and with a violently trembling +hand<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[Pg 153]</a></span> lifted the sacred vessel from its accustomed place and brought +it to the lady.</p> + +<p>"Now, follow us," she commanded; and the procession from the crypt +passed on, I following in the rear, out of the chapel, up a winding +staircase, to a part of the castle I had not yet been in. We halted in +front of a gilded iron door; it opened in response to three raps, and +I saw into a long, magnificently furnished saloon. There were no +windows in it; a mysterious radiance shone from the niches in the +walk, which were hung with gold-embroidered silk.</p> + +<p>As we crossed the threshold, a heavy curtain across the further end of +the saloon parted, and several male figures, garbed in old-time +costumes—Turkish, Roman, Persian, Chaldean and Egyptian—came to meet +the women, who greeted them thus:</p> + +<p>"Welcome, Ahasuerus!"</p> + +<p>"Baal greets you, Nebuchadnezzar!"</p> + +<p>"Osiris, bless you, Pharaoh!" and so on, to Herod, Pilate, Nero, +Sardanapalus—in all of whom I recognized my sir knights. My +red-bearded patron answered to the name of Judas Iscariot. It was a +distinguished company!</p> + +<p>The greetings between the knights and the ladies ever, my patron +turned toward me. I was standing near the door—and said:</p> + +<p>"Malchus, come hither."</p> + +<p>I looked around to see who Malchus might be, but finding no one near +me, guessed that I too had been given a name suitable for the +occasion—that of the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[Pg 154]</a></span> chief priests' servant, who lifted his hand +against the Savior.</p> + +<p>My patron's next words assured me that I had guessed correctly:</p> + +<p>"If your ears have really been cut off, Malchus—which they must have +been, since you can't hear, we must ask Ben Hanotzri to fasten them to +your head again!"</p> + +<p>I had not yet learned to whom they alluded when they mentioned that +name.</p> + +<p>After his last speech to me, my patron took my hand and led me up to +the knight they called Nebuchadnezzar. He had strings of costly pearls +wound in his beard and hair—as one sees in ancient Persian statues, +and pictures.</p> + +<p>"What has Malchus done that he deserves to be admitted to the service +of Baphomet?" he inquired.</p> + +<p>My patron answered for me:</p> + +<p>"He has been a heretic, an atheist, a thief, a murderer, a +counterfeiter, an adulterer—"</p> + +<p>"The very man for us!" interrupted Nebuchadnezzar—and then I +understood why my welcome to the conventual residence had been so +cordial!</p> + +<p>I was asked to take off my monk's habit, and given the dress of a +Roman lictor, in which character my first task was to remove the lid +from a sarcophagus that stood in a niche in the wall.</p> + +<p>I was horrified when I saw that it contained a wax image of our +Savior, as He descended from the cross, with the five gaping wounds in +His body, and the crown of thorns on His head.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[Pg 155]</a></span>The knights gathered about the sarcophagus, and began a discussion, to +which I listened with fear and trembling. They spoke in Latin, and as +I am quite familiar with the language I understood every word.</p> + +<p>One of the knights asserted, that Christ was an eon of the God-father, +Jaldabaoth, who had sent Him to the earth, as the Messiah of the +Pneumatici, and to vanquish his, Jaldabaoth's, arch-enemy, +Ophiomorpho; that Christ, having failed for want of courage to +accomplish the task, Jaldabaoth had allowed Him to be crucified in +punishment; all of which was satisfactorily proved by Valentinus, the +Gnostic. Another of the knights insisted, that Christ was an imposter, +as was verified by Basilides of Alexandria, and Bardesane; and that +His true name was Ben Jonah Hanotzri.</p> + +<p>The earth seemed to sink from under my feet as I listened to this +blasphemous disputation. Though I am a wicked sinner, my reverence for +all things holy is boundless. I held my hands over my ears to shut out +the horrible words, but I could not help but hear some of them.</p> + +<p>The third knight maintained that the whole story of Jesus Christ was a +myth—He had never been born—had never died. The entire legend was an +emblem, a symbol that, like Brahma, and Isis, had never possessed a +material body; and that all images of Him were idols, like those which +represented Basal, or Dagon.</p> + +<p>I imagined that blasphemy could go no further; but the fourth knight +convinced me that even hyperbole may possess a superlative.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[Pg 156]</a></span>The fourth speaker was Nebuchadnezzar; <i>he</i> declared he could prove +from the Scriptures, that Jesus Christ was that Demiurge, who tortures +mankind with laws; renders unhappy and wretched the dwellers on earth; +prohibits all things that are pleasant and agreeable to the senses; +commands man to do what is good for his fellows, though nature's laws +prompt him to do that which is best for himself—be it good or evil +for his neighbor. Consequently, it was the plain duty of every +sentient being to defy this Demiurge, to disobey the laws promulgated +by him; to practice, instead of refrain from: cheating, robbery, +murder, forgery, intemperance, gluttony, debauchery; and that whoever +it was that had imposed on mankind the yoke of bondage, the so-called +virtues—were he eon, Demiurge, Ben Jonah Hanotzri, or Jesus Christ, +deserved persecution, scourging, and crucifixion. "Who then," he +demanded in concluding his sacrilegious harangue, "is the true +Messiah?"</p> + +<p>"Baphomet! Baphomet!" shouted the entire company of knights and ladies +as with one voice.</p> + +<p>Nebuchadnezzar then beat with his fists on a large tam-tam, upon which +the curtain at the end of the saloon was drawn back, revealing a +platform on which were two statues, life-size. The one on the right +was Baphomet, with the two faces, one masculine, the other feminine. A +huge serpent was wound twelve times about the statue; on each of the +rings thus formed was engraved one of the twelve signs of the zodiac. +One hand held the sun; the other the moon; the feet rested<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[Pg 157]</a></span> on a +globe, that rested in turn on the back of a crocodile.</p> + +<p>The other statue represented Mylitta. She was seated on a wild boar; a +crown of gleaming rubies and carbuncles adorned her brow. The knights +and ladies, one after the other, approached the statues, kissed the +shoulders of Baphomet, then the knees of Mylitta.</p> + +<p>After this ceremony, they joined hands, forming a circle around the +images, and began to dance to a song they chanted in a tongue unknown +to me. Before the dance began, I was told to fill all the sacred +vessels with the wine contained in several large jars near the +entrance. This was drank from time to time in toasts to Baphomet and +his companion image.</p> + +<p>If my horror was great, my curiosity was greater. I mastered the +former feeling, in order to see what would be the end of the +sacrilegious orgy.</p> + +<p>The wine jars were soon emptied, and I was ordered by Iscariot to +refill them in the cellar. On my return to the saloon, I found the +company seated around the table; when I approached the Queen of Sheba +to refill the chalice, from which she was drinking, she said to me:</p> + +<p>"Malchus, this crown of mine is so heavy; go down to the chapel and +fetch me the one from the head of the woman of Nazareth."</p> + +<p>I went cold from crown to sole at this request.</p> + +<p>There was in the chapel a beautiful image of our Lady, with a crown of +pearls and diamonds on her head—the gift of a pious princess. To this +image the devout folk of the surrounding region made pilgrim<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[Pg 158]</a></span>ages on +holy days; and it was covered with all manner of costly gifts from the +grateful believers. And this was the "Woman of Nazareth," whose crown +I was ordered to fetch for the shameless wanton.</p> + +<p>"Didn't you hear the lady's order?" bawled my rufous-bearded patron, +thumping the table with his mailed fist. "Go at once to the chapel and +fetch the crown."</p> + +<p>If I had refused to obey I should have been killed; but I almost +fainted with horror while performing the errand. When I returned with +the jeweled crown to the hall of the worship of Baphomet, the demon of +licentious revelry had been loosed; the women, as well as the men, +were dancing with wild abandon. The Queen of Sheba snatched the crown +from my hand, adjusted it on her dishevelled locks, then returned to +the Phrygian dance, led by herself and Nebuchadnezzar; her hair stood +almost straight out from her head, as she whirled around and around, +so swiftly, that she and her partner seemed but one form with two +faces—like Baphomet whom they worshipped. After all had indulged in +the frantic revelry until they sank exhausted to the divans scattered +about the hall, I was ordered to collect the sacred vessels and return +them to the chapel, and then to go to my rest.</p> + +<p>"He must drink with me before he goes," cried Ashtoreth.</p> + +<p>"Here, Malchus!" she unloosed from her girdle a flask, and held it to +my lips. The flask was an exquisite piece of workmanship; it was made +of chased gold and richly set with Turkish fire opals.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[Pg 159]</a></span>"This wine, Malchus," continued the lady, "is the juice of the grape +planted by Noah. The stone jar in which it has been preserved for so +many centuries stands beside the sarcophagus of my grand-mother +Semiramis, in Nineveh—drink, it will do you good."</p> + +<p>On my hesitating, she suddenly flung her arm around my neck, drew my +head close to her own, took a good pull from the flask, then pressed +her lips to mine, and forced me to swallow the wine from her mouth.</p> + +<p>Never have I tasted a sweeter, a more intoxicating, more stupefying +liquor!</p> + +<p>"Now drink," commanded the heathen queen, placing the flask in my +hand. I put it to my lips; but perceived at once that the wine had a +different taste from that I had received from her mouth. It was +bitter, and had a peculiar bouquet. I took only one swallow; but +pretended to send several more after the first one.</p> + +<p>"You may keep the flask as a remembrance," said the lady when I handed +it back to her. She flung it among the church vessels I had collected +together in the baptismal basin, the better to carry them back to the +chapel.</p> + +<p>I hurried from the saloon with my precious burden; carefully washed +all the vessels through three waters; then restored them to their +proper places in the chapel. When I had reverently placed the crown on +our Lady's head, I knelt at her feet, and penitently kissed the hem of +her robe.</p> + +<p>"Now what shall I do with this thing?" I inquired of myself, surveying +the wine-flask in my hand. "Where<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[Pg 160]</a></span> shall I hide it for safe-keeping? +It is worth a deal of money. It would bring me enough to buy an acre +of ground, or a mill with five wheels. I'll just fasten it securely, +here under my lictor's cuirass for the present." I did so; then, +without heeding where I was, I lay down, and almost immediately fell +into a deep, dreamless sleep.</p> + +<p>I don't know how long I slept; I was roused by some one shaking me +vigorously, and crying: "Wake up! wake up!"</p> + +<p>"Yes, yes, Iscariot," I muttered sleepily, "I'll get up directly."</p> + +<p>"O, Trifurcifer!" exclaimed a familiar voice; "the wretch calls me +Iscariot! Just wait, you drunken rogue! I'll sober you!"</p> + +<p>The thorough drenching I received from the large can of water thrown +over me, brought me to my senses.</p> + +<p>"Well, my pious Silenus!" growled the knight. "You are a fine fellow +to set on guard, aren't you? I order you to keep watch outside the +door of the crypt until midnight, and find you the next morning lying +inside the cellar door, with your mouth under an open faucet. We were +obliged to carry you up here—not knowing whether you were alive or +dead."</p> + +<p>"Where—where is the costly flask Ashtoreth gave me?" I asked, feeling +in vain about my body for the souvenir bestowed on me by the heathen +queen. There was neither flask nor leather cuirass, only the old +coarse habit I had inherited from my predecessor in office.</p> + +<p>"Come—come," angrily exclaimed the knight, shak<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[Pg 161]</a></span>ing me again. "Stop +dreaming, and hasten to the chapel; it is time to ring the bell for +mass."</p> + +<p>I could hardly bring myself to believe that it was only a dream—it +seemed so real, but I could find no trace of midnight revelry +anywhere—indeed, I could not find the winding staircase, which I had +ascended from the chapel to the hall of the worship of Baphomet. And +yet I doubted.</p> + +<p>The chapel was filled at mass with devout worshippers. A solemn scene +was when the knights, garbed in coarse gray habits, and bare-footed, +crept on hands and knees to the stone coffin, in which lay a waxen +image of our Lord. They kissed the marble steps leading to the +platform on which the coffin stood, and when I saw them gather about +the holy image, my dream seemed so real that, in my excitement, I +would have cried in a loud voice to the kneeling congregation:</p> + +<p>"People! Christians! rise—rise! do not kneel in the presence of these +blasphemers!" had not the white dove on my shoulder pressed her wings +against my lips.</p> + +<p>Then the rich tones of the organ filled the chapel; and the women's +voices chanting the "Miserere" sounded so familiar—exactly like those +I had heard in my dream, singing bacchanalian songs—that I said to +myself: "That is Ashtoreth's voice—that is Delilah's, and that +deep-toned contralto is Jezebel's!" Again I saw the singers emerge +from the crypt and move toward the winding stair-case. Ah! it was a +dream after all! There was no winding staircase. Where I had seen the +open door, which gave egress to it, was a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[Pg 162]</a></span> blank wall; and against it +the massive marble monument of the grand master, Arminius, who was +represented by a recumbent knight in full pontificals, with hands +devoutly crossed on his breast.</p> + +<p>Yes, it was only a dream!</p> + +<p>My heart was relieved of a heavy weight. It was such a relief to feel +certain that I had not taken the jeweled crown from our blessed Lady's +head; and that the Queen of Sheba had not worn it while dancing in +adoration of an idol.</p> + +<p>When the services were concluded, and I approached the image of our +Lady, to replenish the oil in the perpetual lamp at her feet, the +doubts as to my having dreamed the scenes of the bacchanalian revelry +came back in full force; some one had been tampering with the jeweled +crown on the head of the sacred image—it had been turned around!</p> + +<p>There was a pearl in front of the diadem, and a ruby in the back—both +as large as a hazel-nut. Today, the ruby gleamed like a coal of fire, +where always before the radiance of the pearl had vied with the pure +whiteness of the waxen brow. The crown had been reversed—I had not +dreamed after all!</p> + +<p>This day was, as I have mentioned before, Good Friday—the day of +universal fasting. The knights' observance of the day was so rigid +that they would not even administer to a dying novice the medicines +necessary to alleviate his suffering, because they were composed of +manna and hydromel, both of which, containing nutriment, were +considered food. Even I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[Pg 163]</a></span> fasted the entire day—of a necessity, +though, for there was nothing served in the refectory!</p> + +<p>My elastic conscience would have permitted me to partake—sparingly, +of course!—of food; and I regretted that I had not possessed the +forethought to lay aside from the banquet of the preceding night (if +it really had not been a dream) the legs of a three thousand-year-old +quail!</p> + +<p>But, had I done so, they would doubtless have vanished with the pretty +flask given me by the heathen queen. When I made my duty-rounds as +usual on Good Friday evening, I found my red-bearded patron waiting +for me in the sacristy. He said to me:</p> + +<p>"This evening, Malchus, you will watch as before at the door of the +crypt—but see that you stop there, and keep awake! Don't let me find +you again in the cellar tomorrow morning."</p> + +<p>I said to myself: "I shall be very sure not to go to sleep this time!"</p> + +<p>The guests arrived earlier this evening. The clock in the tower had +not yet ceased striking eleven, when the three knocks sounded on the +crypt door.</p> + +<p>The ancient beauties did not think it necessary to introduce +themselves as before, but they gave me the same orders for the sacred +vessels.</p> + +<p>When I moved toward the altar, in obedience to the Queen of Sheba's +behest, she called after me: "Don't look back, Malchus; if you do +Satan will fly away with you!"</p> + +<p>I did not look backward; I had no need. When I held the gold lid of +the chalice in front of me, it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[Pg 164]</a></span> served the same purpose as a mirror, +and in it I saw Jezebel walk up to the Arminius monument, lay her hand +against the head of the recumbent statue, and thrust it to one side, +whereupon the entire mass of marble swung noiselessly forward, +revealing an opening in the wall through which I saw a winding +staircase.</p> + +<p>Pretending not to have seen anything, or to notice anything unusual in +the opening in the wall, I followed the ladies up the stair with the +articles they bade me bring after them.</p> + +<p>The long table in Baphomet's hall was again loaded with all sorts of +eatables: baked meats, pastry, sweets, fruits. "Meats!" I exclaimed to +myself, "meats on Good Friday, when all Christians, even the +Calvinists, fast and read their prayer-books to find consolation for +their souls and forgetfulness for their stomachs!" And what a feast it +was! One might well have believed that hosts and guests had not eaten +anything for two or three thousand years! Had I been endowed with the +hands of an Aegeon I could not have supplied the viands and wine as +rapidly as the hungry and thirsty revelers demanded them of me. I +seemed to be continually running to, or returning from, the +wine-cellar.</p> + +<p>Similar scenes to those enacted the preceding night followed the +banquet; only with variations one would hardly believe the human mind +capable of inventing.</p> + +<p>The Queen of Sheba was even more reckless and abandoned than before; +she ordered me to bring her the mantle from the shoulders of the +"Woman of Nazareth." I hesitated again to perform the sacrile<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[Pg 165]</a></span>gious +errand, but a sound blow on my back from Iscariot's fist sent me +hurrying to the chapel.</p> + +<p>When I returned with the mantle the queen was in need of it, for she +was not to be distinguished from the nude goddess on the back of the +wild boar. I was so ashamed for her, I could not lift my eyes when I +handed her the mantle. Ashtoreth laughed heartily at me, and +exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"Here, Malchus, I will drink to Baphomet from this flask; then you +shall drink to me."</p> + +<p>She drank first, then handed the flask to me; it was the same one she +had presented to me the night before.</p> + +<p>I had learned something since then! I knew there were trick flasks +with two compartments, which might contain two different kinds of +liquor without becoming mixed. If the neck of the flask were turned to +the right, one of the compartments would be opened; the contents of +the other would flow, were the neck turned to the left.</p> + +<p>When the heathen queen placed the flask to her lips I had watched her +closely, and had seen that her wrist turned slightly to the right. +This movement I took good care to copy when I drank, and, as I had +guessed, the wine was deliciously sweet.</p> + +<p>I took a good, long pull before removing the flask from my lips.</p> + +<p>"Very good wine, isn't it?" observed Ashtoreth.</p> + +<p>"A trifle bitter," I replied, making a wry face, upon which she +filliped my nose with her finger, and exclaimed, laughingly:</p> + +<p>"You don't know what is good, Malchus! The wine<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[Pg 166]</a></span> in this flask is some +of that left from the marriage feast at Cana. You may keep this flask, +too; put it with the one I gave you last night."</p> + +<p>This remark set the entire blasphemous crew into a roar of merriment.</p> + +<p>"You may remove these vessels now," said Nebuchadnezzar, when the +laughter had subsided, "and fetch us some <i>spiritus vini</i>."</p> + +<p>I removed the unclean church vessels and brought from the cellar a +large stone jug of <i>spiritus vini</i>. The simple juice of the grape was +not strong enough for the drunken demons; they wanted the more fiery +brandy.</p> + +<p>An idea came into my head as I was going to the cellar. The <i>spiritus +vini</i> was made in Russia; the mouths of the jugs containing it were +sealed so skillfully that only those persons who understood the secret +could remove the cork. I had learned this secret while with the +haidemaken.</p> + +<p>I opened the jug in the cellar, poured out some of the brandy, and +filled it up with the drugged wine in the flask intended for me. Then +I sealed up the jug and took it to the banquet hall.</p> + +<p>"Did you drink any of it?" demanded the knight whom the rest called +Herod, when I set the jug on the table.</p> + +<p>"I swear by Baphomet I did not!" I replied truthfully.</p> + +<p>"Then open the jug," commanded Pilate.</p> + +<p>I made believe to pull and tug and twist the cork—I could not remove +it from the neck. At last Ahab snatched the jug impatiently from my +hands, and after<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[Pg 167]</a></span> trying in vain for several moments to accomplish +what I had failed to do, he set it in a silver basin and struck at the +neck with his sword. The jug was broken, of course, and the liquor +filled the basin. Then, Bathsheba and Tamar flung into it figs, +raisins and orange peel; Delilah took a lighted taper from the +candelabra and set fire to the huge dish of crambamboli; at the same +moment all the other lights in the hall were extinguished.</p> + +<p>Nebuchadnezzar now began to ladle out the burning liquor into goblets +which he passed to the rest of the company. The flame dispensing king, +with his four horns, the fire-sipping forms around him, their faces +blanched to a death-like pallor by the green-blue light of the burning +brandy, formed a group that excelled in hideousness every illustration +I had yet seen of the <i>danse macabre</i>.</p> + +<p>I fled in horror and disgust from the infernal orgy, fully convinced +that I was not dreaming this time. I was determined to make my escape +from the abode of demons and idol worshippers.</p> + +<p>I said to myself: "If these human beings—that they are not phantoms I +am convinced—came to the castle through the crypt, then I, another +human being, may go out the way they entered."</p> + +<p>I took my lamp, descended to the crypt, and discovered that one of the +memorials, which lined the walls, had been shoved to one side. An +examination of this memento to a deceased knight revealed that it was +not a slab of marble, but a sheet of tin painted to imitate the more +solid material. Nor was the niche it<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[Pg 168]</a></span> covered a tomb, but the outlet +to a narrow stairway that ascended in steep spirals from the crypt, +opposite to the one which descended to it from the chapel.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 325px;"><a name="image-2" id="image-2"></a> +<img src="images/image-2.jpg" width="325" height="500" alt=""I took my lamp, descended to the crypt"" title="" /> +</div> +<p class="caption">"I took my lamp, descended to the crypt"</p> + +<p>I mounted seventeen steps, when further progress was barred by a +statue—that of Saint Sebastian. The heroic martyr was represented +bound to a tree, his body filled with arrows, as he had appeared when +being tortured to death by the commands of the godless Diocletian.</p> + +<p>I had seen this statue often enough by day in the reception-hall of +the castle; then it stood in its niche face toward the room; here, at +the head of the secret stairway from the crypt, it stood with its face +also toward me. "Surely," said I to myself, "St. Sebastian must know +something about the secret outlet."</p> + +<p>And he did.</p> + +<p>I began to examine the niche; then the statue. I noticed that three of +the arrows in the breast were brass, and that the one in the middle +was brighter than the other two, as if it had been taken hold of +frequently. I mounted the pedestal, and, with one arm around the saint +to steady myself, I tried to turn the brighter arrow. After a little, +it yielded to the pressure of my hand, and the statue, as well as the +niche, began to turn slowly on an unseen axis, and in a few moments I +saw the starlit sky above me.</p> + +<p>Then I turned the arrow in the opposite direction, and found myself +returned to my prison. I had solved the mystery of the phantoms' +appearance in the chapel! I returned to the chapel and examined the +mechanism<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[Pg 169]</a></span> concealed under the Arminius monument. What would be the +result, I asked myself, if I turned the head of the grand master back +to its proper position?</p> + +<p>I did so, and the monument swung back to its place, concealing the +entrance to the hall of Baphomet.</p> + +<p>By this time the blasphemers in the hall were sound asleep, and heaven +alone knew when they would waken! And when they did, they would not be +able to get out of their Satan's temple, for it had neither door nor +windows.</p> + +<p>No one would know what had become of them—whither they had gone. When +they found a way out of their prison—if ever—I should be far enough +away over mountain and valley!</p> + +<p>I sketched a rapid plan of escape: I would go to the Archbishop of +Aix-la-Chapelle and lay information against the knights of Baphomet; +and, in order to gain credence for my story, I would take with me the +desecrated church vessels. No devout Christian should drink again from +the chalice defiled by the lips of Salome and Delilah; should have his +offspring christened from the basin polluted by Nebuchadnezzar; should +receive the holy water from the aspergill, defiled by being used to +stir the infernal mixture concocted by Tamar and Bathsheba; not one of +the vessels should be used again, until they had been thoroughly +cleansed and re-consecrated by the proper authorities.</p> + +<p>"A most praiseworthy determination! You proved yourself a true +Christian!" exclaimed the prince, deeply incensed by the impiety of +the <i>dornenritter</i>, the mere<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[Pg 170]</a></span> hearing of whose licentious conduct made +a godly man feel the need of absolution. "You did what any honest and +respectable Christian would have done in your place!"</p> + +<p>"Didn't I say so?" in triumph exclaimed the mayor, beating the table +with his staff. "Didn't I say the rascal would talk himself out of the +church robbery? Instead of sentencing him for the crime, he is +commended for it."</p> + +<p>Hereupon the prince and the mayor became involved in so animated a +dispute that each sprang from his chair and begun to pound with his +fists on the table with such vigor that the candle-sticks, ink-horn +and sand-box danced quite a lively jig.</p> + +<p>The argument continued until his highness suddenly remembered what was +becoming to his dignity; then he rapped the court to order and +announced that the hearing was adjourned until the next day.</p> + +<hr class="thin" /> + +<p>The following morning Hugo resumed his confession:</p> + +<p>I found a stout leather bag in the sacristy, into which I put all the +church vessels of gold and silver which had been defiled in the +bacchanalian orgies. I did not forget the Virgin's diadem, either.</p> + +<p>My left shoulder ached dreadfully under the heavy load, but, because +the white dove I told you about was perched on the other shoulder, I +would not shift the bag from side to side, which would have made it +easier<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[Pg 171]</a></span> to carry. The revolving Saint Sebastian enabled me to escape +from the castle, but I still had a high bastion to scale. I found the +rope ladder by means of which the women had climbed over, and very +soon I was on the high road, travelling as swiftly as I could for the +heavy bag, toward the harbor—</p> + +<p>"Hold!" interrupted the chair, "I've caught you at last! If what you +have told us is true, why didn't you go at once with the bag of church +property to the burgomaster of the city, and tell him of your +discovery at the castle? The impious revellers might have been taken +into custody that same night."</p> + +<p>"Yes—yes—" the prince made haste to add, "why didn't you do that, +instead of thinking it necessary to escape on a ship?"</p> + +<p>"I believe I can explain my action to the satisfaction of the +high-born gentlemen," deferentially responded the prisoner. "You will +understand at once why I wanted to take a ship, when I tell you the +name of the city. It was Stettin. It was in possession, at that time, +of Gustavus Adolphus, whose heretic generals cared very little whether +the Blessed Virgin or Baphomet were worshipped in the Catholic +churches, which had already been desecrated more than once by +themselves. Indeed, the relations between the knights and the heretics +was most friendly, because the former had joined forces with the +Swedes, and had fought bravely against the imperial beleaguerers. They +were loyal comrades in arms with the heretics. That is why I deemed it +wiser to escape from the city—"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[Pg 172]</a></span>"And you were right—quite right!" with unmistakable approval in his +tone, commented the prince. "The Swedish heretics were not the proper +authorities to settle so sacred and important a matter. The <i>furtum +sacrosanctorum</i> may be stricken from the list of indictments."</p> + +<p>"As may all that follow!" growled the mayor into his beard. "Now we +shall hear how this innocent criminal disposes of the <i>homicidium</i>!"</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[Pg 173]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_V" id="PART_V"></a>PART V.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE HOMICIDE.</span></h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_V_I" id="CHAPTER_V_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">ON BOARD MYNHEER'S SHIP.</span></h3> + + +<p>A convincing proof of my honest and pious intentions is, that +notwithstanding I was in great need of money—I hadn't a penny to my +name!—it never occurred to me to help myself from the alms-box at the +door of the chapel, which, at such seasons like Passion Week, was +always well filled.</p> + +<p>I had no "motive" to carry the box with me—it had not been defiled by +sacrilegious hands.</p> + +<p>I still wore the dress in which I had masqueraded as a lictor: the +Roman balten, the leathern caliga, the chalizeh sandals with straps, +and the ancient Hebrew pallium. Anywhere else in the civilized world a +man garbed as I was would have been arrested as a vagabond lunatic; +but I was not molested in Stettin.</p> + +<p>That city, under Swedish domination, was a free port; the mouth of the +Oder was crowded with vessels of all sorts, from all countries. The +quay swarmed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[Pg 174]</a></span> with negroes, Spaniards, Turks, Chinese—all +nationalities, all the costumes of the globe were represented. +Consequently no one, however striking may have been his garb, would +have attracted special attention. Nor did I, as I passed through the +crowd in search of a vessel that was lifting her anchor, preparatory +to sailing at once.</p> + +<p>Chance led me to a Dutch ship.</p> + +<p>The owner of the craft, Mynheer Ruissen, paid no attention to me until +after we were out of the harbor, and were scudding before a favorable +wind. Then, as he was passing along the deck, his eyes fell on me, +where I was sitting near the rail, with my bag by my side.</p> + +<p>He stopped in front of me, thrust his hands into the pockets of his +coat, and, after a moment's close scrutiny, addressed me in a language +I had never heard before. He tried several different tongues—oriental +by their sound—with the same result. I could only indicate by shaking +my head that I did not understand him. At last he became impatient, +and exclaimed in Flemish:</p> + +<p>"Potztausend-wetter! What language does this fellow speak, I wonder?"</p> + +<p>I understood him then, and told him I could speak Dutch, and that I +was not a heathen from the Orient, but a native of Europe, and a +Christian like himself.</p> + +<p>"And where are you going, may I ask?"</p> + +<p>"Wherever your ship will take me," I answered.</p> + +<p>"Have you the money to pay for your passage?"</p> + +<p>"Not a solitary batz."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[Pg 175]</a></span>"Have you anything of value?"</p> + +<p>"I have a beautiful golden flask set with precious gems, which I will +give you as a pledge, or in payment—as you prefer."</p> + +<p>"Did you come by it honestly?"</p> + +<p>"I will take my oath that I did not steal it. A beautiful woman gave +it to me as a souvenir. May I sink with this ship to the bottom of the +sea, if every word I tell you is not true!"</p> + +<p>"Na, Na,! you needn't mind swearing in that way," hastily interposed +Mynheer. "I don't want my ship to go to the bottom of the sea! Is the +flask worth enough to pay for your passage to Hamburg?"</p> + +<p>"It would fetch more than your whole ship!"</p> + +<p>He paused a moment, then asked again:</p> + +<p>"What have you got in that bag?"</p> + +<p>"Gold and silver vessels, and jewels."</p> + +<p>"Are they souvenirs too? There, there, you needn't mind swearing +again! I won't arrest you—it's no concern of mine how you came by +them."</p> + +<p>I told him then that if he would take me to his private cabin, I would +tell him how I came to have the valuables in my possession.</p> + +<p>He led me to his cabin, where he bade me place the leather bag in the +corner. Then he ordered one mug of beer to be brought; filled a +porcelain pipe—about the size of a thimble—with tobacco, thrust the +stem between his lips, but did not light it—I dare say, because he +feared it might burn out before he had emptied the beer mug, from +which he took an occasional sip while I was telling him my story.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[Pg 176]</a></span>When I had told him of the scandalous scenes in the castle, and of my +escape with the denied vessels, which I had decided to take to the +archbishop, Mynheer removed the pipe from his lips, deliberately +knocked the tobacco into the palm of his hand and emptied it into the +tobacco-pouch. Then he drained the last sip of beer from the mug, +thrust his hands into his pockets and said:</p> + +<p>"Well, my son, you have acted cleverly, and stupidly at the same time. +To fetch the things away with you, was clever—very! But, to decide +that you—by yourself—a poor unknown devil, would be believed by the +archbishop, when you accused so powerful an order as the +<i>Dornenritter</i> of blasphemy and sacrilege, was stupid in the extreme. +Nobody will believe your story; you will be ridiculed, and told that +you dreamed all these things."</p> + +<p>"But," I interposed, "how could I have dreamed things, no living being +ever saw with his eyes, or heard with his ears? How could I have +dreamed the Baphomet worship? How could I have dreamed names like +Jaldabaoth and Ophiomorpho, and that disquisition around the +sarcophagus?"</p> + +<p>"Why, you stupid lad! Don't you see they will say you have been +reading the secret pamphlet which was published by the opponents of +the Ancient Order of Templars? But, what was permitted to King Philip +will not be tolerated in you; you will not be allowed to tell stories +about Baphomet idolatry, and serpent worship. And, suppose you are +allowed to tell what you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[Pg 177]</a></span> 'saw with your eyes and heard with your +ears'—you have no witness to prove that what you say is true."</p> + +<p>"Oh, haven't I?" I cried, triumphantly producing from the leather bag +the pyx with its contents. "Here is my witness: this sacred wafer, +defiled by the idol-worshippers. See! here in the center of it, is the +print of Ashtoreth's slipper heel, where she trod it under foot. You +see, it is directly over the banner of the <i>Agnus Dei</i>?"</p> + +<p>Mynheer deliberately adjusted his large spectacles on the bridge of +his nose, and scrutinized the wafer.</p> + +<p>"<i>Donnerwetter</i>!" he growled, "you are right, lad, this is the symbol +of Baphomet: a half-moon, a double-headed serpent curved to form the +figure 8. Hm, hm—you have acted in a praiseworthy manner after all! +By bringing this wafer with you, you have saved the souls of many +devout Christians from eternal damnation, in that you have hindered +them from kneeling in adoration today at mass before this symbol of +Baphomet! Indeed, half Stettin will owe thanks to you if, instead of +damnation, it wins salvation! Your brave and valiant deed will save +from the flames of hell at least twelve thousand souls! Therein lies +the wisdom of your action; the unwisdom will come to the fore when you +ask yourself: 'What shall I do with these desecrated vessels?'</p> + +<p>"You thought to arraign an entire order—nay, two, for those wanton +females must belong to an order of some sort. To accuse a religious +body is always extremely dangerous—specially so, if the order be +composed of women. I am afraid it will result in your<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[Pg 178]</a></span> ruin; you will +most likely be arrested for stealing church property—the punishment +for which is death at the stake. What will your word be worth against +the denials of the knights? Do you imagine that any trace of their +scandalous revelry will be found? Not by a good deal! You will be +pronounced a wicked calumniator; unless you want them to cut off your +tongue, you will keep it silent between your teeth!"</p> + +<p>"Then what shall I do with these things?" I asked in perplexity, +giving the bag a thrust with my foot. "Shall I take them back to the +castle?—"</p> + +<p>"That"—interrupted Mynheer—"would be the stupidest thing you could +do. The sir knights would, beyond a doubt, have you walled into some +corner of the castle, where you might await the resurrection with what +patience you could summon!"</p> + +<p>"Then, what would you advise me to do?" I asked again.</p> + +<p>"Well, my son, <i>I</i> say, that what you have in your possession belongs +to you; accept it as the gift of heaven—though you acquired it from +Satan. When we get to Hamburg I will direct you where to find an +honest man whose business it is to relieve pious folk of any treasure +they may have taken from Satan—or, found where it was not lost. I am +acquainted with a Christian of that sort; you need not be afraid to +trust him—he is honest as a Quaker, and would not cheat anyone—on +Sunday! I think I may trust you to dispose of your treasure as +cleverly as you—appropriated it, which, after all, is the chief +secret of trade!"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[Pg 179]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_V_II" id="CHAPTER_V_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE MOO-CALF.</span></h3> + + +<p>I dare say your highness, and gentlemen of the court, have heard a +good many stories about the moo-calf? I shall abstain from expressing +just here an opinion of the mysterious creature as, by so doing, I +should anticipate the denouement of one of my most remarkable +adventures. I think almost every dweller in Coblentz has heard of the +moo-calf's strange doings; for there are numerous records in the +chronicles of the city, of its mysterious appearance and behavior.</p> + +<p>The moo-calf ordinarily appears in those cities where the Jews have +multiplied excessively, and attained to power.</p> + +<p>It is a well-known fact that a calf is the meekest, the most innocent +of animals, that it has never been known to assault anyone, that it +would be the least likely of all the animal kingdom to wield a +boundless tyranny over an entire community. Therefore, I do not +believe <i>all</i> the terrifying tales I have heard about the moo-calf. Do +any of the gentlemen here believe them?</p> + +<p>Several members of the court admitted that they believed the tales; +some thought a portion might be true, others were non-committal. So +much time was given to the discussion, that the chair was at last<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[Pg 180]</a></span> +obliged to interfere. He said to the prisoner—after rapping +impatiently for order:</p> + +<p>"You are not here to ask questions, but to be questioned. Now let us +hear what <i>you</i> have to say about the moo-calf?"</p> + +<p>Hugo bowed and resumed his confession:</p> + +<p>When we arrived at Hamburg, Mynheer so managed matters, that it was +evening when he and I went ashore. With the bag of valuables on my +back, I tramped after him to the suburb of St. Paul, to seek in the +winding, and zig-zag streets of the "Hamberger Berg," the house of the +honest Christian, who would relieve my back, and incidentally my mind, +of the load of treasure.</p> + +<p>We pushed our way with whole skins through a confusion of menagerie +booths, puppet-shows, jugglery and rope-dancing exhibitions, which +their proprietors importuned us to patronize, avoided with some +difficulty the crowds of tipsy sailors, and at last arrived in front +of the house we were seeking.</p> + +<p>The name of the owner was Meyer—a by no means rare cognomen in +Germany!</p> + +<p>He was a Lutheran, as eleven-twelfths of the residents of Hamburg are. +They alone possess the rights of citizenship.</p> + +<p>Mynheer Ruissen took Herr Meyer to one side, and communicated to him +what business had brought me to Hamburg, whereupon Herr Meyer without +further ceremony invited me to sup with him.</p> + +<p>"I hope"—here impatiently interrupted the chair—"you don't intend to +waste more of our time by an<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[Pg 181]</a></span> enumeration and description of the +various dishes you partook of?"</p> + +<p>"No, your honor, though it would not take long to tell what we had for +supper. Herr Meyer placed before me nothing but bread, cheese and +water. He could not say enough in praise of the bread and cheese, and +he boasted that the water, which he said was from the Elias fountain, +possessed the most remarkable properties. While I ate, he examined in +turn each of the vessels I had taken from the bag and placed on the +table, exclaiming over every piece, and making a peculiar noise with +his tongue against the inside of his upper teeth:</p> + +<p>"A baptismal basin! Tse-tse-tse! How could you dare to take this? A +censer! tse-tse-tse! Young man, did it never occur to you that you +were defying Satan when you put this into your bag? A communion-cup! +tse-tse-tse! I should think your soul would be oppressed with its +weight of sin! And—actually!—the Holy Virgin's diadem! Woe-woe-woe, +to you, miserable sinner!" I could listen no longer to his lugubrious +comments:</p> + +<p>"Oh, hush, Master Meyer," I interrupted, "what use to talk like that? +You needn't think to frighten me with your lamentations. I am a +Lutheran like yourself—rather let us talk about the value of these +things: What will you give for the whole lot? But, before we talk +business, bring me something more palatable to eat and drink. Your +bread and cheese and water are not to my taste."</p> + +<p>"Very good, you shall have something else," with<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[Pg 182]</a></span> sudden alacrity +responded Master Meyer, whose opinion of me was evidently improving. +He hurried to the kitchen, and soon returned with some salt fish, and +a jug of good cider, which he placed before me.</p> + +<p>Then he proceeded to appraise the church vessels, and the diadem, +telling me the while that I ought to be thankful his dear old friend +Mynheer Ruissen had led me to him. How easily I might have fallen into +the hands of the papists, who would certainly have imprisoned me—and +perhaps put me to death; or into those of the Jews, who had swarmed +from Spain into Hamburg, and were ruining all honest tradesmen. The +rascally Hebrews would offer only ridiculously low prices for articles +they suspected had been acquired by means not altogether legitimate, +and would give in payment for them counterfeit money. And, wasn't the +cod-fish I was eating most appetizing?</p> + +<p>After he had examined my treasures two or three times, he said he +would give me six hundred thalers for the lot—and that I might drink +all of the cider into the bargain.</p> + +<p>"See here, Master Meyer," I replied, "your fish is so salty it makes +one want to drink continually, and your cider is so sour, I would +rather not eat your fish than to have to quench my thirst with the +cider. And, moreover, I will take my treasures to the Jews' quarter, +where I shall no doubt find some one who will give more than a paltry +six hundred thalers to a poor shipwrecked traveller for a lot of +articles that are worth at least twenty times the sum you offer."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[Pg 183]</a></span>At these words my worthy host beat his hands together above his head, +and exclaimed:</p> + +<p>"My dear son! how will you find your way to the Jews' quarter at this +late hour? It would be very unwise—nay, dangerous, for you to attempt +it. Don't you know that the moo-calf makes its appearance about this +time?"</p> + +<p>I shrugged my shoulders to indicate that I was not afraid of a +moo-calf.</p> + +<p>"But, my dear son, you don't know what a terrible creature the +moo-calf is. It has become even more terrible and ferocious since the +Jews have multiplied to such numbers in Hamburg. These Spanish Jews +understand all sorts of witch-craft. It was they who discovered that +if a young calf is fed on human blood instead of milk, it will become +savage as a lion. This is the sort of moo-calf they have turned loose +in the Hamberger Berg. It roams through the streets at night, +terrifying to death every person it meets, and scatters the watchmen +in all directions. It tears the bells from the house doors; it has +teeth so sharp that it can snap off the pole of a halberd as easily as +if it were a pipe-stem; and its tongue is rough as a cloth-shearer's +brush. It roars like a lion, bellows like a wild bull, snorts like a +whole herd of wild horses; clatters through the streets like a luggage +van, clappers like a fulling-mill, and crows like a cock that is +possessed. It takes special delight in pursuing honest men and fathers +of families, who suspect their wives and daughters of adventure, and +if it chances to catch one of them, <i>he</i> will not very soon forget the +moo-calf—that<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[Pg 184]</a></span> is if he escapes with his head to remember it! Another +favorite trick with the calf is: to steal upon a pair of lovers, and +roar at them with such a terrible voice that they die of fright—"</p> + +<p>"And what sort of looking beast is this moo-calf?" I interrupted.</p> + +<p>"Why, no one can tell what it looks like, my son. Those who have been +unfortunate enough to encounter it on the street have had a stream of +fire blown into their eyes from the beast's nostrils, and they were +not able to see for weeks afterward. The man who is brave enough to +thrust his head out the window when he hears the moo-calf bellow, will +be sure to regret his curiosity, for his head will swell to such a +size that he will not be able for several days to get it back through +the window. That is why no one is able to tell what the monster is +like. I only know that it has the power to stretch its neck to such a +length that it can look into the upper windows of a house. Oh, I can +assure you, it is a most horrible creature!"</p> + +<p>I had had ample time, while he was descanting on the moo-calf's +terrible doings, to replace my treasures in the bag.</p> + +<p>"Then there really is such a monster?" I observed, shouldering my +load.</p> + +<p>He swore by all he held dear, that the moo-calf not only existed, but +that it roamed the streets of Hamburg almost every night.</p> + +<p>"Have you any desire to make a bet with me?" I asked.</p> + +<p>"A bet?—on what?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[Pg 185]</a></span>"That I can eat a whole calf at a sitting—especially when I have a +ravenous appetite as now. Fetch me your moo-calf and I'll devour him, +hoofs, hide and tail!"</p> + +<p>I dropped the bag from my shoulder to the table, drew forth the short +Roman sword, which was part of my lictor's costume, and sharpened it +on the steel.</p> + +<p>"Now, fetch on your moo-calf," I repeated, again shouldering the bag +and making as if I were going to quit the house.</p> + +<p>"And you really are not afraid of the moo-calf?" exclaimed Master +Meyer, placing himself in front of me, believing I intended to pursue +my way. "I see you are a headstrong lad, but, as I have taken a fancy +to you, I don't want you to run any risks. Come, make up your mind to +stop here until morning. We will agree on a price for your treasures; +and then have supper together."</p> + +<p>"No, thanks," I returned, my face still toward the street door. "I +don't want any more dried codfish. The season of fasting is +over—besides, I am no priest, and if I were I shouldn't object to +wine."</p> + +<p>"You shall have whatever you want, my son. Put down your bag, and make +yourself at home." And he hurried into the kitchen to give his orders.</p> + +<p>After several minutes he returned, clad in an entire suit of new +clothes; on his arm he carried another handsome suit, which he begged +me to accept as a present from him, adding that I would find in the +pocket of the coat in a purse the sum he was willing to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[Pg 186]</a></span> pay for my +treasures, and with which he knew I would be quite satisfied.</p> + +<p>When I opened the purse I found in it fifty doubloons, and a slip of +paper.</p> + +<p>"What is this?" I inquired, holding the paper toward him.</p> + +<p>"A promissory note for two-thousand thalers, payable in three months."</p> + +<p>I knew very well that a note of hand was as good as money, and was +quite satisfied with the trade—only, the time of payment was too long +distant to suit me.</p> + +<p>"It is a Hamburg custom, my son," replied Master Meyer when I +mentioned my objections. "The money must have time to mature."</p> + +<p>I was obliged to be satisfied, besides, fifty doubloons would be quite +enough to keep me in food and raiment for three months.</p> + +<p>The supper Master Meyer now placed before me was of a sort I would not +have believed his larder capable of supplying—judging from the fare +he had offered me first. There were pasties of all sorts, game, +confections and a choice selection of wines. Of the last I took +special care not to imbibe too freely. Master Meyer's family joined us +at the repast; there were three daughters, comely, and of marriageable +age; and a son. The latter, I was informed, was a student at the +university. I thought him rather advanced in years for a student!</p> + +<p>There was not the least resemblance between the three young women; no +one would have taken them<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[Pg 187]</a></span> to be sisters. They were merry creatures, +sang and played on the harp and the guitar.</p> + +<p>One of them, a blonde, was very pretty. I noticed that she stole +frequent glances toward me, and when her eyes met mine she would blush +and smile enchantingly.</p> + +<p>I was still young, and not at all averse to a flirtation. Moreover, I +was a widower. I had had enough experience with the fairer sex, +however, to teach me that it would be well to be on my guard.</p> + +<p>Master Meyer had introduced me to his family as "Junker Hermann." The +blonde daughter's name was Agnes. She was a sentimental and romantic +maid. I sat by her side at supper, and was so flustered by the glances +from her blue eyes, I could think of nothing more sensible to say to +her than: "that when the dear Lord should bestow on me a family, I +would have just such spoons as her father's"—with which we were +eating the chocolate cream—and that my own and my wife's crests +should be engraved on the handles. This remark led me to observe +further that I thought the initial letters of Hermann and Agnes would +form a pretty monogram. My fair neighbor could not see just how the +letters might be arranged. I told her it was very simple: the A need +only be inserted between the two uprights of the H to make the union +perfect.</p> + +<p>I wanted the Meyers to believe that I was a genuine cavalier, so I +said to the father—after I had emptied my third glass of wine:</p> + +<p>"That ring on your finger pleases me very much. I should like to buy +it."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[Pg 188]</a></span>"Well, you see, Junker Hermann," he returned slowly, turning the ring +on his finger, "this is a costly piece of jewelry. The carbuncle alone +is worth fifty thalers; besides, the ring is an heirloom. I wouldn't +sell it for seventy thalers."</p> + +<p>"Would you sell it for eighty?"</p> + +<p>"I wouldn't let anyone but you, Junker Hermann, have it at any price! +As you seem to have taken such a fancy to it, then take it, in God's +name, for eighty thalers."</p> + +<p>"All right," said I. "Just keep the eighty thalers out of the +two-thousand you owe me."</p> + +<p>At mention of the two-thousand thalers Agnes helped me to a second +dish of chocolate cream.</p> + +<p>"I will draw up a note for the amount," said her father. "We are only +human, and no one can tell what may happen to me."</p> + +<p>"Write whatever you like and I'll scrawl my signature to it," I +replied disdainfully.</p> + +<p>When he had quitted the room, Agnes whispered to me:</p> + +<p>"I am very sorry father sold his ring. It is a talisman in our family, +and was given to my mother as a wedding-present."</p> + +<p>"And suppose"—I whispered back to her—"my buying it does not take it +out of the family?"</p> + +<p>"I don't quite understand you," she replied, casting down her eyes, +and blushing.</p> + +<p>"I shall make my meaning clearer when I may speak to you alone."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[Pg 189]</a></span>"That can be arranged very easily, Junker Hermann; when the family +have gone to their rooms for the night, we can meet in the bow-window +chamber—then you can tell me what you have to say."</p> + +<p>The father now returned with the note to the dining-room. It was for +one-hundred thalers, that being the sum—principal and interest—I +should owe Master Meyer at the expiration of three months.</p> + +<p>I did not think it worth while to waste words over the usurious +interest charged; but signed my name with cavalier <i>sangfroid</i>, and +the ring was transferred from Master Meyer's hand to my own. As my +hand was considerably larger than his, which was exceedingly thin and +bony, I could only get the ring on the second joint of my little +finger.</p> + +<p>Just at that moment Rupert, the elderly student, must have made a +teasing remark to his sister; for the three at once set upon him, and +began to belabor him with their fists, and cry out that he should not +have any more wine that evening.</p> + +<p>"Very well," he exclaimed, laughing, "then I'll go to the tavern and +get some."</p> + +<p>He invited me to accompany him; saying that we should find at the +tavern some good company and bad wine. I excused myself on the plea +that I was very tired, and wanted to rest. He departed alone, and we +heard him singing, and knocking against the doors with his stick, as +he staggered down the street.</p> + +<p>Good-nights were now exchanged, and each one went to his or her room. +I waited with considerable impatience until the house had become +quiet; then I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[Pg 190]</a></span> stole on tip-toe to the bow-window chamber. This +apartment is in the top story of the house, and projects several feet +over the street. A bright moon illumined the cozy chamber, so that a +lamp was not necessary.</p> + +<p>I had not long to wait; the soft rustle of feminine garments very soon +announced the coming of my charming Agnes.</p> + +<p>I met her at the door, took her hand in mine, and drew her into the +bow-window. She asked me without further ceremony, to explain how the +ring I had bought from her father could remain in their family now +that I was the owner of it.</p> + +<p>"Nothing easier in the world! my dear Agnes," I made answer. "I need +only to slip it on your finger as an engagement ring."</p> + +<p>She understood my explanation, and allowed me to place on the third +finger of her left hand the ring for which I owed one-hundred thalers. +After this ceremony I asked—as was natural—if I might seal the +bargain with a kiss—</p> + +<p>"Ha! I knew that was coming!" interrupted the chair; "we don't care to +hear that sort of evidence."</p> + +<p>"Why," pacifically interposed the prince, "Why, a kiss is nothing out +of the way."</p> + +<p>"<i>One</i> kiss would not be; but it would not stop at one; a second and a +third—and heaven only knows how many more would follow, and—</p> + +<p>"Pray allow me to contradict your honor," respectfully interrupted the +prisoner. "There was only one. I will admit that I was about to help +myself to more, but I was hindered—"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[Pg 191]</a></span>"By the white dove on your shoulder, of course!" interrupted the +mayor's ironical tones.</p> + +<p>"No, your honor, not the white dove. Just at the moment I was going to +take the second kiss, there came from the street directly underneath +the bow-window, the most unearthly sounds—as if a herd of angry +elephants were bellowing for their supper. I never heard so hideous a +noise. It was a mixture of the squealing of a wild boar; the neighing +of a horse; the blare of a trumpet, and the clattering of a heavy +wagon over cobbles."</p> + +<p>"Jesu Maria! the moo-calf!" shrieked my terror-stricken betrothed, +tearing herself from my arms. The next instant she had vanished, with +my hundred-thaler ring.</p> + +<p>Furious with rage, and not a little fear, I sprang to the window, +flung back the sash, and thrust out my head—never once thinking of +the dire result which would follow such action: my head swollen to the +size of a barrel.</p> + +<p>However, that did not happen to me; but enough pepper was blown into +my eyes to prevent me, most effectually, from seeing anything on the +earth, or in the heaven! I howled with pain and rage—compared to the +sounds which came from my throat, the moo-calf's bellowing was the +weakly puling of an infant.</p> + +<p>But, such was the fear of my host and his daughters, of the fiendish +brute, that not one of them ventured to come to my assistance. I was +obliged to grope my way unaided to my room, and to wash the pepper +from my blinded eyes as best I could.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[Pg 192]</a></span>While I was thus engaged Rupert returned home, and joined his howls to +mine; he said the moo-calf had attacked him, and almost done for him. +His face and clothes were proof of a rough and tumble encounter with +something: the former was scratched and bleeding, and his garments +looked as though he had had a scuffle with an enraged eagle. His bed +and mine were in the same room, and neither of us slept very much that +night. The student was frightfully ill; he kept muttering constantly +something about the moo-calf; while I sat by the basin until daylight, +mopping my eyes with water.</p> + +<p>The cursed moo-calf! Why didn't he bellow before I gave my costly ring +into Agnes' keeping? It was not at all likely that I should soon have +another opportunity to be alone with her!</p> + +<p>The next morning Master Meyer gave me to understand that the duties of +hospitality would not be extended beyond one day; and that I would +better seek a lodging more suitable to the station of a young man of +quality. He would be glad to have me visit him frequently; and if I +wanted to be amused Rupert, who was perfectly familiar with all the +ways of the city, would be delighted to be my guide.</p> + +<p>I did not see the lovely Agnes again alone; so I made up my mind to +write, and tell her how much I thought of her. I question now, whether +any of the numerous letters I sent her through Rupert, ever reached +her hands.</p> + +<p>From that day, there was no end to amusements. Rupert was the very lad +to make me acquainted in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[Pg 193]</a></span> the shortest time with all the resorts of +entertainment, and many companions of questionable reputation. I was +introduced to a Spanish hidalgo; a Scotch laird; a Brazilian planter; +a Wallachian boyar—that their patents of nobility grew on the same +genealogical tree with my own I suspected from the very first. They +were, individually and collectively, hearty drinkers, reckless +gamblers, and fearless fighters. That the money they squandered with +lavish hand was not obtained through honest means I was confident, and +I was equally confident that the entire crew looked on me as their own +special prey.</p> + +<p>But, I taught them a thing or two before very long!</p> + +<p>At our drinking-bouts, I always left them under the table. While with +the Templars I learned a valuable secret: how to drink all the wine +you wanted without becoming intoxicated. I shall not reveal this most +valuable secret here. I have an idea, that when the court sentences +me, I may win its clemency by revealing what I learned from the +<i>dornenritter</i>—the secret which would be of incalculable value to all +mankind—</p> + +<p>"We shall see about it—if the time ever comes when sentence shall be +passed on you!" observed the chair.</p> + +<p>To out-drink me, resumed the prisoner, after this digression, was +impossible, though they tried their best to do so. Had they succeeded +in stupefying me with wine, I am quite certain they would have robbed +me of the note for two-thousand thalers, which I always carried with +me. I suspected that the series of drinking-bouts had been arranged to +enable Rupert to steal the note; had he succeeded, Master Meyer<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[Pg 194]</a></span> would +have been relieved of paying what he owed me. But my secret enabled me +to frustrate their plans.</p> + +<p>Nor did they succeed in getting hold of any of my doubloons. The first +time we engaged in a game of dice, I detected their scheme to cheat +me; the dice were loaded. As I had played that sort of game before, I +astonished and discomfited my companions by the frequency with which +the sixes always came on top when I threw. They, and not I, lost +money. If they attempted to quarrel with me about my good fortune, +they found that, skilled though they were in the pugilistic art, I +could take care of myself. I learned some wrestling tricks while I was +with the haidemaken, and they served me well in my bouts with those +notorious fighting-cocks. I was not the one to get worsted. But, no +matter how angry I might be, I always took good care not to injure any +of them seriously; had I done so, they would very soon have had me +behind prison bars.</p> + +<p>I was also extremely careful in my intercourse with the women I met. +My white dove accompanied me wherever I went, but I never spoke of her +to anyone. I would tell my companions, after they had dragged me from +one den to another without succeeding in attaching me to any of the +alluring nymphs, that I had no eyes for any woman but my charming +betrothed, to whom I had vowed eternal fidelity; and that I was +obliged to adhere all the more rigidly to my vow, because Rupert, +being the brother of my sweetheart, might betray me to her were he to +see me paying attention to another girl.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[Pg 195]</a></span>Then the student would swear that a "whole ditch full of devils" might +fetch him (a favorite oath in Hamberger Berg polite society) if he so +much as mentioned my name to his sister. I might flirt with whomsoever +I chose, he would not betray me. But, I persisted in turning a deaf +ear to the fascinating damsels I continued to meet night after night +in the various drinking shops we frequented. I knew very well that a +tidy wench would be more apt to get hold of my carefully guarded note +of hand than would any of my brawling comrades.</p> + +<p>I wasn't going to let anyone steal it; I had decided that I would take +the money home to my poor old parents. The two-thousand thalers would +make of them real gentle folk; father could buy a little fruit farm; +and a fur coat for himself; and the old mother might promenade to +church in a silk mantle, bought with the money her son had given her—</p> + +<p>"And which he obtained by selling stolen church property," +sarcastically interjected the chair.</p> + +<p>"The end justified the means," quickly, but with due respect, retorted +the prisoner, whereupon the prince laughed heartily.</p> + +<p>The mayor's face became crimson; he said in a tone of reprimand: "That +phrase was not devised by the pious Jesuits to excuse the man who +steals church property, and sells it to obtain money for his family. +The prisoner will continue his confession."</p> + +<p>In this manner I passed three months. The day before the one on which +my note fell due, I spent in my lodgings sleeping quietly. That night +I accompanied<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[Pg 196]</a></span> my friends, as usual, on a round of the different +taverns we were wont to frequent. We scattered the night patrol; +smeared the windows of several professors' houses with wagon grease; +sang rollicking ditties in front of the houses in which we knew there +were pretty girls; belabored all the Jews we found abroad at that +hour, and kept the entire "Berg" in a state of excitement, until long +after midnight. We marched arm in arm, forming a line across the +street that reached from house to house, to the "Three Apples"—a +famous tavern at that time—where, for a wager, we drank all the +liquid medicines in the store of an itinerant quack doctor, who had +stopped there for the night.</p> + +<p>It is just possible it was the medicaments that confused my +brain—though I am convinced they were perfectly innocent of any +intoxicants. Rupert became so helpless, he lay like a log on the +tap-room floor; the innkeeper ordered the rest of us out of the house.</p> + +<p>As it was too early to go home, the Scotchman suggested that, as +Rupert was not with us, we should go around to Master Meyer's, where +he and the rest would keep watch in the street, while I made a +"window-call" on my betrothed.</p> + +<p>"That's a bright idea of yours!" I exclaimed. "How am I to get up to +my pretty Agnes' window? Her room is in the top story, in the gable. I +am not a moo-calf that can stretch its neck to the luthern."</p> + +<p>"Why are we your friends?" chivalrously demanded the Spanish hidalgo. +"Are not we here to help you? We will form a pyramid: three of us will +support two others on their shoulders, and you will form the apex.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[Pg 197]</a></span> +You can then rap at your lady-love's window, and we will remain +immovable, while you exchange kisses with her."</p> + +<p>The quack's medicaments had, as I said before, confused my brain; I +agreed to the silly plan suggested by the hidalgo, and we turned our +unsteady steps toward the Meyer residence.</p> + +<p>When we arrived in front of the house, the first thing we did was +break the lantern which swung from a rope stretched across the street, +in order that the darkness might screen us from the sight of +passers-by.</p> + +<p>The acrobatic feat of building a human pyramid was easily +accomplished; and I was very soon standing on the shoulders of two +comrades whose feet in turn rested on the shoulders of the three +forming the base.</p> + +<p>I had no difficulty in reaching to the sill of the bow-window; that +room, I knew, opened into Agnes' sleeping-chamber. I had rapped once +on the glass—cautiously, for I did not want to rouse any one in the +lower rooms; and was about to repeat the knock, when the fiendish +bellowing I had heard once before made the blood run cold in my veins.</p> + +<p>My comrades under me cried out in terror:</p> + +<p>"The moo-calf is coming!"—and the next instant I was hanging by my +fingers to the sill of the bow-window, with my legs wriggling like +those of a frog caught on a hook. I could hear my valiant comrades +scampering for their lives down the street. I did not want to call for +help; for, if old Meyer saw me dangling in front of his window, he +would believe me to be a burglar, and shoot me without ceremony. I +could not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[Pg 198]</a></span> swing myself up to the window-sill, for the sash was +closed; so, I hung there, and tried in vain to find a projection below +me, on which to rest my toes.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, the bellowing monster came nearer; I could already hear it +snorting under me. I hung motionless as an executed criminal on the +gallows, hoping the calf might not notice me.</p> + +<p>It was a vain hope! The brute came directly toward me, and when I +looked down, I saw the hideous horned head stretch upward—nearer, +nearer. I could feel the rough tongue lick the soles of my shoes—then +my ankles. I drew up my knees, and lifted myself as high as I could; +but the elastic neck stretched out longer—the horrible tongue licked +higher. I felt as if my trousers were being brushed with a curry-comb, +and I thought to myself every moment: "Now the devil will seize me!"</p> + +<p>I wriggled and kicked in vain—nearer, and nearer, came the long horns +which threatened to spit me on their sharp points. Fiendish laughter +seemed to come from the red throat, as the tongue licked higher and +higher. It reached my thighs—then my waist, and before I could guess +what might happen, the little bag hanging from my belt, in which I +carried the note for two-thousand thalers, was snapped from its chain, +and disappeared down the brute's gullet.</p> + +<p>My fear vanished with the note. Not even Satan himself should take it +without a struggle!</p> + +<p>Heedless of the moo-calf, as well as of the danger to my legs, I let +go my hold on the window-sill and dropped. Fortunately my mantle +carried me like a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[Pg 199]</a></span> parachute through the air, so that I was not even +shaken by a too sudden contact with the pavement.</p> + +<p>I now stood face to face with the dreaded moo-calf. It was not a +creation of the imagination, but a veritable monster, and a most +hideous and frightful one too, at that! It had four huge legs and feet +like an elephant; a neck two fathoms long, at the end of it an +enormous head with horns; the long red tongue hanging from the open +jaws was covered with scales shaped like saw teeth.</p> + +<p>"You may be the devil himself," I cried, drawing my sword, and +stepping up to the monster, "but you must give me back my purse."</p> + +<p>Quick as thought, the long neck was drawn in, and the head thrust at +me with a force that sent me staggering backward several feet. A +faint-hearted man would most likely have taken to his heels, but I was +too enraged at my loss to think of seeking safety in flight.</p> + +<p>What! had I purloined the <i>dornenritter</i> treasures for this?</p> + +<p><i>They</i> were now in Master Meyer's possession, and the two-thousand +thalers were in the stomach of this moo-calf! All this passed like +lightning through my brain, as I picked myself up from the pavement, +where the brute had flung me, and again approached him.</p> + +<p>"Either you take me with you to hell," I exclaimed hoarsely, "or I'll +tear my purse from your entrails!"</p> + +<p>Again the monster drew in his neck, spread his legs apart as if to +brace himself, and gave utterance to another marrow-freezing roar. I +remembered the dose of pepper I had received from him, and held the +corner<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[Pg 200]</a></span> of my mantle in front of my face; this shielded me also from +the sparks of fire he blew from his nostrils.</p> + +<p>I was prepared for the second assault, and when the brute again shot +out his head toward me, I dropped nimbly to the pavement, and the head +swept over me into the empty air. Before it could be drawn back, I was +on my feet, and buried my sword to the hilt in the creature's breast.</p> + +<p>What was my surprise and horror to hear a despairing moan—not from +the moo-calf's throat, from its belly—an unmistakably human voice.</p> + +<p>"I am killed—murdered!" cried the voice, as the moo-calf fell in a +heap to the pavement; and from the shapeless leather envelope +staggered a human form—my comrade, Rupert, the student.</p> + +<p>The blood was spurting from a wound in his breast—my sword had +pierced clean through him!</p> + +<p>"So, you are the moo-calf?" I exclaimed in amazement, surveying the +wounded man leaning, gasping for breath, against the door of his +father's house.</p> + +<p>"The devil take you," he groaned. "Why didn't I kill you at once, when +you were hanging from the window, instead of fooling with you? Now, +the old man may play the moo-calf himself, and scare customers from +the Jews' quarter! It's all up with me! Ho, Agnes! Mettze! Come quick! +Summon the patrol! Sound an alarm!"</p> + +<p>I saw a female form appear in the bow-window. It was Agnes. When she +recognized Rupert's voice, she began to shriek "Murder! murder!"</p> + +<p>I turned to fly, but Rupert, who had sunk to the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[Pg 201]</a></span> pavement, weak from +the loss of blood, seized hold of my leg—even in death he thought +only of revenge! I jerked my leg from his grasp with such force, that +he fell backward, striking his head against the door-post.</p> + +<p>He did not stir again.</p> + +<p>I did not stop to search in the skin of the moo-calf for the +promissory note; I took only time enough to catch up a handful of mud +from the street, and fling it into the face of the girl, who was +leaning from the window shrieking "Murder!" into the night.</p> + +<p>It silenced her for a few moments, and I fled down the street with +strides that soon took me a considerable distance from the scene of +the tragedy.</p> + +<p>In my terror I imagined that a multitude was pursuing me, crying: +"Catch him!" "Hold him!" "There goes the assassin!"</p> + +<p>I fled through unfamiliar streets and by-ways, across bridges, to the +outskirts of the city. There I saw, in an underground den, lights and +moving forms; and heard dance-music and riotous shouting. I tore open +the entrance-door, dashed down the steps, and fell into the arms of an +overgrown rascal, who was clad in the uniform of the Munster guards. +The fellow locked his arms about me, and said laughingly:</p> + +<p>"You are welcome, comrade! You have come to the proper refuge. You +must have been close pressed, I declare! You are puffing like a +porpoise! But, have no further fear—you are safe now. Come, sit and +have something to drink."</p> + +<p>He pressed a goblet of wine into my hand, thrust his arm through mine, +and drank <i>smollis</i> with me, by exchanging his bear-skin hat for my +cloth barret-cap.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[Pg 202]</a></span>"There, my son, now you are one of us. You have drank our wine, and +are now under the command of our worthy captain."</p> + +<p>I had stumbled upon a body of recruits for a partisan corps. The +company was made up of desperate characters, who were glad enough of +this chance to escape prison, or the gallows.</p> + +<p>As for myself, I was forced to put a good face on a bad business! Only +twelve hours before, I had been a distinguished cavalier, was called +Junker Hermann; and had a promissory note for two-thousand thalers in +my pocket. Now, I had neither station nor money, and as I had good +cause for not wanting to keep the name by which I was known in +Hamburg, I gave the recruiting sergeant my own true patronymic.</p> + +<p>After I had been properly registered, I asked the sergeant:</p> + +<p>"What is the name of our captain?"</p> + +<p>"Meyer."</p> + +<p>"There are a good many Meyers in the world. Is the captain related to +the Berg-Meyers?"</p> + +<p>"You've guessed it the first time, my son! The captain's father lives +in the Hamberger Berg, and is a well-known receiver of stolen goods. +Rupert, the captain's brother, is a pander."</p> + +<p>I dare say many a man in my place would have been frightened at this +discovery; but <i>I</i> congratulated myself! If I were pursued—I +argued—the officers of justice would seek for me everywhere else but +in the company commanded by the brother of the murdered man; and if +Captain Meyer ever discovered that it was<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[Pg 203]</a></span> I who had relieved him of +the brother with whom he would have been obliged to share his +inheritance, <i>he</i> certainly would not reproach me for it!</p> + +<p>This, honored and high-born gentlemen, added Hugo in conclusion, is +the true history of the homicide for which I am arraigned. I have not +added to, or taken from it; but have related the events exactly as +they occurred.</p> + +<p>"<i>Qui bene distinguit, bene docet!</i>" observed the prince thoughtfully. +"We call it murder, when the person committing the deed strikes what +he knows to be a human being. But, if the man encounters a ferocious +monster that he believes to be a moo-calf, and kills it as such, and +it turns out to be a human being, 'murder' is certainly not the term +to apply to the deed. Moreover, the person who is so devoid of sense +and dignity, as to conceal his human form in the hide of an irrational +beast, is himself responsible for whatever may happen to him! +Therefore, this indictment may also be stricken from the register."</p> + +<p>"Perhaps, your highness," observed the chair with a covert sneer, +"would like to suggest a reward for the prisoner, for delivering the +city of Hamburg from the terrorism of the moo-calf?"</p> + +<p>The prince's reply made it obvious that he had not noticed the chair's +sarcasm:</p> + +<p>"I-think-not," he returned slowly. "As the prisoner is likely to be +condemned to death for one or more of the other crimes, it would be +useless to bestow on him a certainly deserved reward."</p> + +<p>A further hearing was postponed until the next morning.</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[Pg 204]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_VI" id="PART_VI"></a>PART VI.</h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VI_I" id="CHAPTER_VI_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE FORGERY.—ONE CIPHER.</span></h3> + + +<p>I passed an entire year under the command of Captain Meyer, during +which time I may say I committed no more—nor less, evil than my +comrades. I do not hold it necessary to mention the seven mortal sins, +of which all soldiers are guilty when in the enemy's country—those +sins become virtues then.</p> + +<p>Were I to enumerate the pillaging, homicides, conflagrations, in which +I took active part, it would be rather a <i>captatis benevolentiæ</i> than +an enforced confession. This much, however, I will confess: The +regions visited by Captain Meyer's corps never expressed a desire for +our return. A whole year of such a life was quite enough for me; and, +as I had enlisted for only a twelve-month, at the expiration of that +time I asked for my discharge.</p> + +<p>The captain expressed regret at my wanting to leave him; but made no +objection when I gave him my reason for quitting the service; I was +home-sick, and wanted to see my poor old mother and father. The old +folks lived in Andernach, near which we were<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[Pg 205]</a></span> quartered. I had not +seen them for full ten years; and I decided that I would spend the +rest of my days with them.</p> + +<p>The gold and silver I had once counted on taking to them, to solace +their old age, was not now in my possession: Satan, through whose aid +I had obtained it, had taken it away from me again.</p> + +<p>But, if I could not give my parents curse-laden wealth, I was able to +offer them two strong and willing arms which, after so many years of +sinful struggling, longed for the honest toil that would call down a +blessing from heaven.</p> + +<p>I would adopt my father's trade; become a pious believer, and try to +be of some use to my fellow-creatures.</p> + +<p>Before I could do this, however, I should be obliged to commit a +forgery—as the world would call it.</p> + +<p>The burgomaster of Andernach, and the manager of the tannery in that +place, were so very scrupulous, that they wanted to know all about my +antecedents, before they would consent to receive me as a citizen, and +journeyman.</p> + +<p>Not for the world would I have forged an entire testimonial for +honesty, and respectability; but I did not think, that to add a single +cipher to the honorable discharge I had received from Captain Meyer +was anything out of the way. A tiny, innocent, worth-nothing, +insignificant cipher, that could harm no one, take nothing from +anyone! And I did not place it in front of the figure 1 either—thus +giving it the precedence over the more valuable numeral. If the +honorable, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[Pg 206]</a></span> high-born gentlemen will but look at it from a +different point of view from that usually taken, I feel confident they +will not think my transgression so heinous after all. Heaven knows! +<i>Ten</i> years' service under Captain Meyer contained sufficient torture +to purge the most hardened criminal, and make him fit for citizenship +in any respectable community!</p> + +<p>This, your highness, and honorable gentlemen, is the forgery to which +I plead guilty.</p> + +<p>"Humph!" ejaculated his highness. "It is not worth mentioning! Who +would take the trouble to notice such a trifle? Proceed to the +indictment next on the list—"</p> + +<p>"On which there is still another crime less!" grumbled the chair +impatiently.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[Pg 207]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_VI_II" id="CHAPTER_VI_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE LEGACY.</span></h3> + + +<p>Discharged soldiers travel on foot. It is the more expeditious way if +the roads are bad, for a wagon is heavier than a man. The man has only +two feet to draw from the mud; while the wagon has four wheels. +Besides to travel on foot is cheaper.</p> + +<p>When I arrived in Andernach I had, remaining from the money I had +saved during my year's campaigning, only one thaler; but my heart was +so light, the lightness of my pocket did not trouble me.</p> + +<p>How glad I was when I caught sight of the familiar towers of the +palace, and the ruins on the Templeberg. How often, when a lad, I had +clambered among those ruins, in search of hawks' nests, and Roman +coins. If I had only broken my neck on one of those innocent quests. +Everything was so familiar; the large mill-stone factory; the cranes +on the quay; the rafts on the river; the long avenues—yes, even the +old receivers of customs at the Coblentz gate! I recognized the old +fellows at once; but they did not remember me. I might stray through +the entire town without hearing a single voice call to me: "Welcome, +welcome! Why that is Hugo!" I was so changed in appearance!</p> + +<p>But I remembered everybody and everything! I did not need to ask my +way through the narrow streets to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[Pg 208]</a></span> the tanneries on the banks of the +river. I remembered the names of all the families that lived in those +narrow streets.</p> + +<p>At last I came in sight of the house in which dwelt my parents—the +dear, familiar home of my boyhood! There it stood; and beside it, the +same tall mulberry tree with its branches shading the street.</p> + +<p>Perched among those branches, I had learned to decline the classical +formula: "<i>Hic gallus cantans in arbore sedens, kukuriku dicens!</i>" At +the moment of my arrival, however, instead of a <i>gallus cantans</i> on +the tree, an auctioneer's assistant was standing under it, and +vigorously beating a cracked drum.</p> + +<p>"What is going on here?" I asked of the man, in whom I recognized an +acquaintance of my boyhood.</p> + +<p>"There's going to be an auction, Master Soldier."</p> + +<p>"What is to be sold?"</p> + +<p>"Everything that belonged to the old tanner. You may take a look +inside if you like," he added, nodding toward the house. "It won't +cost you anything."</p> + +<p>"But why are you selling the old man's property?" I asked again.</p> + +<p>"To get money, naturally!"</p> + +<p>"For whom?"</p> + +<p>"For the numerous Jebucees, Sadducees, and publicans, to whom the old +man was indebted. If they sell everything—to the brood of sparrows +under the eaves!—there will not be enough money, by a good deal, to +pay all he owes."</p> + +<p>"Why," said I, "the old man was a good manager;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[Pg 209]</a></span> and his wife an +industrious and thrifty house-wife, when I knew them."</p> + +<p>"And so they were! The old man was all right, until he took to +drinking."</p> + +<p>"Took to drinking? Why did he do that?"</p> + +<p>"Well—you see, he had a worthless son, who ran away from home about +ten years ago. The scamp joined a band of robbers; and when he left +them, he gave out that he was a Polish count; played all manner of +tricks; broke out of prison; robbed churches. Every year the news +which came to the old man about his Hugo grew worse; until at last he +was afraid to venture on the street, for the whole town was talking +about his worthless son. So he took to drink—had it fetched to the +house, and drank harder and harder—especially after his wife died—"</p> + +<p>"Dead?" I interrupted. "Is the old dame dead?" my heart almost burst +because I had to keep back the words "my mother."</p> + +<p>"Yes, Master Soldier, she is dead, and it is a mercy the good old soul +did not live to see this sorrowful day! But, you must excuse me. I +have got to beat this drum, so that a good lot of people will come to +the sale."</p> + +<p>A dozen or more purchasers came in response to the summons. I took up +my station by the open window, and looked into the familiar room, +where the buyers were higgling over the various articles to be sold. +My mother's Sunday mantle was just then under the hammer—the pretty +silk mantle with the silver fastening at the neck. How I wished I were +able to put<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[Pg 210]</a></span> an end to the disgusting higgling, by shouting in the +window:</p> + +<p>"I'll take the whole lot for a thousand thalers!"</p> + +<p>But, alas! there was only a single, miserable thaler in my pocket.</p> + +<p>The mantle at last became the property of an old-clothes dealer: he +flung it around his shoulders, and made believe to promenade to +church. It was a revolting sight! The entire higgling crew laughed +uproariously, and clapped their hands. I could endure it no longer, my +heart was bursting.</p> + +<p>I stepped back to the drummer, and asked:</p> + +<p>"Is it long since the old dame died?"</p> + +<p>"Not so long but you may find her grave if you care to see it. She is +buried in the cemetery on the Templeberg."</p> + +<p>"And where is her husband?"</p> + +<p>"Well"—and he scratched his ear—"that is a question I am unable to +answer: what was immortal about him, is in heaven, or hell, or +purgatory—who can say? Flesh, bones and skin, are about to be buried +in the earth—just where though, I can't tell you."</p> + +<p>"Buried now?" I repeated. "Why, there's no bell tolling for the +funeral?"</p> + +<p>"No, Master Soldier, the death bell doesn't ring for such corpses. The +poor old man hung himself—just here, on this limb above us!"</p> + +<p>"Hung himself?" I repeated in horror.</p> + +<p>"Yes, Master Soldier—he hung himself on that limb! You see he +couldn't stand it when, after he had been told that his property would +have to be sold to pay his<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[Pg 211]</a></span> debts, he heard that the burgomaster had +received from Hamburg a warrant to arrest Hugo, his vagabond son, who +had murdered a comrade of his in that city."</p> + +<p>You may imagine my feeling when I heard these words! They banished +from my mind all thought of making myself known as the long-lost Hugo, +and the determination to keep my identity a strict secret was +strengthened by the drummer who, at every beat he inflicted on the +cracked calf-skin, exclaimed: "The rascal!" "The vagabond!" "The +gallows-bird!" and similar titles of honor!</p> + +<p>I deemed it wise to join him in execrating the reprobate, whose evil +conduct had forced the honest old tanner to end his life on the green +branch over our heads.</p> + +<p>The bloody deed I had committed in Hamburg had driven my poor father +to a suicide's grave. I could listen no longer to the monotonous +drum-beats, and the call which came from the house: "Who bids higher?"</p> + +<p>I stole away from the house to which I had brought disgrace and death. +I stole away to that city of the silent multitude, where there is no +higgling, no outbidding, no "who bids higher?"</p> + +<p>Here, the wooden cross at the head of the grass-grown mound of earth, +serves the same purpose, and serves it as well as the majestic marble +monument. After a long search among many familiar, and some unfamiliar +names, I found, on one of the wooden crosses, the name to which I had +a claim.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[Pg 212]</a></span>Underneath that mound, bare of green sod, with no mourning wreath of +never-fading flowers adorning the cross, rested the woman who had left +behind her on earth nothing but a drunken husband, who drank to forget +his shame; and a worthless son, whose name was a public disgrace in +every city in the land.</p> + +<p>I flung myself beside the mound. I dared not give vent to my sorrow in +moans and tears, for fear a grave-digger, or some passer-by might hear +me, and suspect me to be the son of the woman in the grave.</p> + +<p>The Hamburg magistrates had offered one hundred thalers for my arrest; +consequently it behooved me to be very cautious. I pretended I had +chosen that spot to rest; and lay very still; for, just then, a good +many people—chattering old women, noisy lads, and all sorts of shabby +folk—were passing through the cemetery, toward the further wall.</p> + +<p>The crowd seemed to be expecting something—an imposing funeral, I +said to myself. I soon found out why they were so eager to get to the +boundary wall of the cemetery: In the strip of earth just outside the +wall was the suicide's grave.</p> + +<p>He is not to rest among the respectable Christians; but in the strip +of unconsecrated ground outside the sacred inclosure. No priest leads +his funeral train; his body comes to its last resting place in the +knacker's cart, on a bier made of four rough deals. The coffin is +unpainted; there is no name-plate on the lid.</p> + +<p>The bell on the neck of the knacker's old steed tolls him to the +grave. Instead of a solemn funeral dirge,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[Pg 213]</a></span> there is the noisy chatter +of the curious mob; and in lieu of funeral oration are the knacker's +stupid and offensive jokes, which he cracks while he prepares to lower +the coffin into the grave. Before he does this, he takes a knife from +his pocket, and whittles a few chips from the coffin; and over these +the gaping crowd—especially the old women—quarrel and higgle, gladly +giving their last pence for the relics. And these people never suspect +that the man who leans heavily against the broken cross, hard-by the +new-made grave, might rush suddenly upon them, and with the stump of +the broken cross crack the skulls of those whom he chanced to strike!</p> + +<p>At last the knacker took note of me:</p> + +<p>"Well, Master Soldier," he called, "and how goes it with you? Don't +you want to exchange a few pence for a chip from the coffin of the man +who hung himself? There is great virtue in such a bit of wood! It will +preserve you from lightning, and—"</p> + +<p>"I would rather have a nail out of the coffin," I interrupted, "for +iron will attract lightning, which is what I most desire."</p> + +<p>The fellow was ready enough to comply with my request, but he said the +nail would be worth a thaler. I gave him the thaler, the last money I +possessed in the world! and received the nail—my legacy from my +father!</p> + +<p>Later, I had a ring made of the coffin-nail, and I still wear it on +the fore-finger of my right hand.</p> + +<p>"Well," enunciated his highness, drawing his hand<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[Pg 214]</a></span>kerchief from his +pocket; "you certainly were punished for your misdeeds, my son. Your +sufferings must have been greater than if you had been tortured on the +wheel."</p> + +<p>The chair's comments were inaudible amid the sounds of emotion, which +came from behind the prince's handkerchief.</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[Pg 215]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_VII" id="PART_VII"></a>PART VII.</h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VII_I" id="CHAPTER_VII_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">PEACEFUL REPOSE.</span></h3> + + +<p>I was now without a heller in my pocket; and yet I did not feel poor. +I thought to myself: I am a man, born this day—nothing, and nobody. I +am so much better off than the new-born babe, in that I shall not have +to be taught how to walk and talk, need no one to feed me, and rock me +to sleep.</p> + +<p>I determined I would not remain longer on German soil. If I remained, +only one of two alternatives was left to me: If I desired to associate +with respectable folk, I should have to allow them, when they +discovered who I was, to cut off my head; and if I went back to my old +life, or into the army, I should have to cut off the heads of my +fellow-creatures. I had no desire to do either.</p> + +<p>After my varied, and troublous experiences, I yearned for peace and +quiet. My plans were soon formed. There was considerable trade in +lumber, between Andernach and Holland. Innumerable rafts, composed of +huge tree-trunks for masts, and piles for<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[Pg 216]</a></span> dams, were floated down the +Rhine; and to the owner of one of these rafts I hired myself as rower.</p> + +<p>The wage was fair: thirty pfenings a day, with bread, cheese, dried +fish, and a jug of beer. I never drank my portion of beer, but sold it +for three pfenings, to one of my comrades on the raft, who got thirsty +twice daily. I drank only water.</p> + +<p>When my fellow rowers would curse and swear, because a strong wind, or +the current, drove the raft against the rocks, I would remonstrate +mildly with them; and assure them that such speech in the mouths of +Christian men was displeasing to God; and when, to pass the time, they +would sit down to a game of dice, I would withdraw to the further end +of the raft. If they urged me to join the game, I would reply:</p> + +<p>"Thou shalt not covet what belongs to thy neighbor."</p> + +<p>After awhile the jeers of my comrades attracted the attention of the +owner of the raft.</p> + +<p>"Hello, lad; what's the matter with you? You don't drink, don't +gamble, and don't swear—you are damnably pious, it seems to me! But, +you are a first-rate worker; and I shall sell you in Nimeguen for at +least three times as much as any of those lazy louts."</p> + +<p>"You are going to sell me and my comrades in Nimeguen?" I exclaimed in +amazement.</p> + +<p>"Why, certainly! What the devil else should I do with you? You can +float down stream on the raft; but I couldn't float you +up-stream!—and I couldn't carry you on my back, could I? But, don't +you worry. I'll find good places for the lot of you. There will be<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[Pg 217]</a></span> +plenty of buyers for the rowers, as well as for the raft, and the +price every fellow brings will be equally divided between me and +himself!"</p> + +<p>"What becomes of the men—usually?" I ventured to inquire.</p> + +<p>"Well, I don't believe <i>all</i> are chopped into sausage-meat! The +Hollander likes to be a sailor—but only a captain, or a pilot. He +likes also to be a soldier, but again he prefers to be a captain, or +the commandant of a fortress. Therefore, common seamen and private +soldiers are in demand; and for this the ignorant stranger is good. +Consequently, you need only say which you prefer: to become a sailor, +or a land-lubber—and take your choice."</p> + +<p>I deliberated a moment, then I said to him:</p> + +<p>"I will tell you the truth, Captain, because I have vowed never again +to let a lie pass my lips. I am tired of soldiering. I have shed so +much blood on the battlefield, that the remembrance of it oppresses my +soul. I don't want to be a soldier; I would rather go to sea, and be +rocked by the waves."</p> + +<p>"Well, you are an ignorant dunce!" he exclaimed. "Don't you know that, +if you go to sea, you will get right into the thick of battle? The +Dutch fight all their real battles at sea. They keep an army on shore, +only that they may have troops to capitulate when a fortress is +starved out by the enemy! The soldiers never get any actual fighting. +Punctuality, sobriety, irreproachable conduct—these are the Dutch +soldier's strong points—and, the devil fly away with me, if you +don't<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[Pg 218]</a></span> rise to be a corporal in less than a twelve-month, if you join +the army! What were you before?"</p> + +<p>"A gunner."</p> + +<p>"Well, you can be a gunner in the Dutch army."</p> + +<p>"But, what have the gunners in the Dutch artillery to do if there is +no enemy to shoot at?" I asked.</p> + +<p>"Oh, they find enough to occupy their time. On Saturday evenings they +have the management of the fire-works, which are set off in the park; +and on the other days of the week they prepare the rockets, and other +things, for the Saturday evening's display."</p> + +<p>That is why I became a gunner in the artillery, in the goodly city of +Nimeguen. Sixty dollars was the price paid for me, the half of which I +received.</p> + +<p>I was now in a community that exactly suited me. Here was no mighty +uproar, no rioting, no drinking. Here, no vain braggart youths +molested the wives of the staid burghers. Here were no conflicts +between the military and the citizens. All were at peace with one +another.</p> + +<p>On Sunday mornings the armed, and the unarmed residents went together +to church; and in the evening all drank their pints together amicably +in the beer-houses. The soldiers were allowed, when not on guard duty, +or otherwise engaged in the fortress, to work for the citizens; the +money thus earned belonged to themselves. And there were many chances +to secure employment. The entire city of Nimeguen was a huge +flower-garden, in which was grown that most important article of +commerce: the tulip bulb.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[Pg 219]</a></span>It is a well-known fact that not only entire Europe but all the lands +under the dominion of the Turkish sultan, would suffer a greater +financial loss, were the Dutch tulip-bulbs to remain out of the +markets for a year, than if all other crops were to fail for the same +length of time.</p> + +<p>By saying this, I do not mean that the carnation is not also a +necessary luxury—if I may so term it; but the tulip is, and will +remain, the most important article of commerce in the lands I have +mentioned. One tulip-bulb is worth as much as a peck of wheat. But it +is of different values—according to the color. There are tulips which +only kings and sultans can afford to have bloom in their gardens.</p> + +<p>I was fortunate enough to secure employment for my leisure hours, as +gardener's assistant, on the estate of a widow who was +"tulip-wealthy."</p> + +<p>The lady would visit her tulip beds early every morning, to see them +in bud; and again late in the afternoon, to see the full-blown +flowers. At such times I never got a glimpse of her face; for she +always wore a huge cap, from which only the tip of her nose protruded.</p> + +<p>But I decided, after I had been on the estate a week, that the fair +owner must be young, for when she addressed a remark to me, which she +did occasionally, her voice was so low—as if she feared I might hear +what she said.</p> + +<p>To judge by the enormous quantities of bulbs she sent to market, the +widow must have been very rich; but the bulbs were not her only +treasures. She possessed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[Pg 220]</a></span> a collection of shells, fresh, and +salt-water, that represented a very tidy sum of money.</p> + +<p>In Holland, as well as in England, and France, the shell had also a +commercial value; and wealthy collectors vied with one another to +secure the finest examples of the <i>spordilus regius</i>; the "sun-ray" +mussel; the rainbow-hued "venus-ear"; the "queen's cap"; the "tower of +Babylon"; and "Pharaoh's turban," and would pay as high as two hundred +dollars for a perfect specimen of the shell they wanted. I have known +a perfect <i>scalaria preciosa</i> to bring one hundred zequins. This shell +is more valuable than the pearl; and my fair employer possessed a +whole drawerful of them. Her sainted husband had collected them; and +they would have sold for more than would a three-master loaded with +grain.</p> + +<p>More than one nabob had offered fabulous sums for the collection; and +it was said that a British peer, who was devoted to the study of +conchology, had even gone so far as to offer his hand and title to the +widow, in order to gain possession of the much coveted treasure.</p> + +<p>The widow who hesitates loses a title; while the lady was considering +the peer's offer, there was a sudden fall in the price of shells, and +my lord sailed away to England.</p> + +<p>What caused this depression in the shell-market you ask?</p> + +<p>Well, as your highness, and the honorable gentlemen, must know, every +sea-creature like the <i>scalaria</i> builds its house with the volutions +turning to the left.</p> + +<p>One day a sailor, whose home was in Nimeguen,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[Pg 221]</a></span> returned from a voyage +to Sumatra, and brought with him a large number of <i>scalaria</i> with the +shells turned in just the opposite direction—from left to right. Now, +a shell of this order was a decided <i>lusus naturæ</i>, and the price for +the ordinary pattern at once depreciated. The bankers and nabobs, who +had formerly vied with one another in their quest for the <i>scalaria +preciosa</i>, were now so inflamed with the desire to possess a <i>scalaria +retrotorsa</i>, that they willingly paid from two to three thousand +thalers for a single specimen. On the other hand, the ordinary +<i>scalaria</i>, which had sold readily for one hundred ducats, could now +be bought for ten, and fifteen thalers.</p> + +<p>This was a heavy blow for my widowed employer, and she soon found that +she had not the strength to bear it alone.</p> + +<p>When I heard of her loss, I summoned enough courage to say to her:</p> + +<p>"If this unlucky business about the shells is all that troubles you, +my dear lady, I think I can help you. I have a scheme that will in a +very short time produce shells which turn to the right—and in such +quantities, that you can supply all the shell-markets in the country."</p> + +<p>The widow reflected several moments, then replied:</p> + +<p>"But, I couldn't think of allowing you to employ witch-craft to secure +such shells for me. I do not approve of magic. I have always held +aloof from sorcery, charms, conjuring, and all such infernal +practices; and, as I hope some time to be united with my beloved +husband, who is with the saints, I could not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[Pg 222]</a></span> bind my soul to the +wicked one, by countenancing any sort of magic, or idolatry."</p> + +<p>"There is neither magic nor idolatry connected with my scheme to +benefit you, gracious lady," I assured her. "What I have in mind is a +purely scientific experiment. It is fully described in a large book +written by the learned Professor Wagner, who was a very pious man, as +well as a very clever scholar."</p> + +<p>"The book I allude to, gracious lady, treats of the sympathy and +antipathy of plants, and cold-blooded animals; and is all about +creatures made by our Heavenly Father. It is a noteworthy fact, that +the bean vine always twines from left to right around the stake which +supports it; while the hop as invariably winds from right to +left—neither of them ever makes a mistake. If, however, the bean and +the hop be planted close together, then, the two plants being +antipathetic one to the other, the bean will twine to the left, and +the hop to the right."</p> + +<p>"<i>Quid fuit probatum.</i>"</p> + +<p>"From such experiments the learned professor was led to experiment +with living creatures. He found that, when an acaleph which forms its +shell from right to left in the flower-beds at the bottom of the +ocean, chances to lie in close proximity to a <i>nautilus pompilius</i>, +which belongs to the cephalopods, and builds from left to right, the +two, because of their antipathy for each other, will reverse the order +of their volutions."</p> + +<p>"From this it is clear that those conchologists, who have created a +veritable social revolution with their <i>scalaria retrotorsa</i>, and have +shaken the foundations of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[Pg 223]</a></span> prosperity in the Dutch low countries, have +accidentally come upon such shells which, in consequence of an +antipathetic propinquity, have reversed their order of building—and +by so doing, my dear lady, have caused you great loss and sorrow. But, +you need sorrow no longer, if you will graciously assent to my +proposition. It will, I feel confident, bring you a fortune so +enormous that even the queen regent will envy you!"</p> + +<p>"But, what is your proposition?" queried the pious soul, and for the +first time, half of her face emerged from the depths of her cap.</p> + +<p>"It is this, gracious lady: Order your agents to bring from the ocean +living <i>scalaria</i>, and <i>nautili</i>, which are to be secured with least +trouble during the mating season. We will prepare for them here a +large basin of sea-water, with sand from the bottom of the ocean. In +this we will plant sea-weeds, place our living shells among them, and +feed them with star-fish, holothures, and other soft-bodied marine +creatures. After a season our shell-fish will spawn; the eggs of the +<i>scalaria</i> cling together—like a string of pearls; those of the +<i>nautili</i> adhere to one another by sixes, in shape of a star.</p> + +<p>"When we shall have secured a number of broods, we will fasten +together the ends of a <i>scalaria</i> string, forming a circle, in the +center of which we will place a star of <i>nautilus</i> spawn; and you will +see, when the tiny creatures escape from the eggs, that they will +build their houses in a reversed order from the parent shell."</p> + +<p>My plan was quite clear to the fair widow; she gave her orders at once +to her agents, for the <i>scalaria</i>, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[Pg 224]</a></span> <i>nautili</i>, and from that +moment treated me with great respect and affability.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, I continued to perform my duties: I polished my guns +mornings; inspected the soldiers' coats, to see if any of the buttons +had been sewed on wrong side up—the lower part of the state's coat of +arms uppermost—and reported to the captain that everything was in +order. Saturday evenings I attended to setting off the fire-works; and +every week-day afternoon I worked in the widow's garden.</p> + +<p>What I earned I laid by. I never touched pipe, nor glass—not even +when they were offered to me; and to whomsoever I addressed a remark, +I gave the title belonging to him. Thus, I gained the respect of all +my fellow-citizens. I had become what I had long desired: a +respectable God-fearing man—</p> + +<p>"Now, look out for a special bit of rascality;" <i>sotto voce</i>, +interjected the chair.</p> + +<p>I admit it was to win promotion that I conducted myself with such +propriety, continued the prisoner. I was extremely desirous of +attaining a lieutenancy.</p> + +<p>When the living <i>scalaria</i>, and <i>nautili</i>, arrived together with the +creatures which were to serve as food for them, they were placed in +the large basin with a wall about it, I had prepared for them in the +lower portion of the tulip garden; and in due time the spawn was ready +for further operation.</p> + +<p>My gracious employer was greatly surprised to learn that the eggs of +the shell-fish have a peculiarity which distinguishes them from the +eggs of birds and insects. With the development of the embryonic fish, +its envel<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[Pg 225]</a></span>ope also extends; one such egg, which at first is hardly as +large as a lentil, increases to the size of a hazel-nut. In this +condition its outer covering is very thin—merely a transparent +membrane, through which the now quickened animal may be seen revolving +with the celerity of a spinning top. One may even detect the +pulsations of its heart.</p> + +<p>"The fellow has actually taken it upon himself to deliver a lecture on +malacology!" irritably interposed the chair. "I am sorry to prolong +the hearing, your honor," deferentially returned the prisoner, "but, I +beg you will allow me to finish what I have to say on this subject, in +order that I may explain why I was accused of conjuring. I desire to +prove that what I did was not accomplished by aid of any infernal +power; but through my own intelligence, in discovering, and making use +of one of Nature's secrets."</p> + +<p>As I mentioned before, one may perceive, in the embryonic mollusk, the +incessant rotary movement from left to right. In order to keep the two +antipathetic broods constantly in the close juxtaposition necessary to +influence their development, I was obliged to handle them frequently, +as the eggs would move about—</p> + +<p>"Stop!" interrupted the chair, "mollusks have no eyes; how then were +those you hatched able to see their antipathetic neighbors, and move +away from them?"</p> + +<p>Their antipathetic sensations informed them. Though mollusks have no +eyes, they are endowed with other remarkable organs—such as are not +found in<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[Pg 226]</a></span> warm-blooded animals. However, to cut my story short, the +quickened <i>scalaria</i>, and <i>nautili</i>, immediately began to form their +shells in the reversed order I had expected, and the secret of +fabulous enrichment was solved.</p> + +<p>During the mysterious process of nature—while the shell-fish were +industriously rearing their priceless houses—my patroness daily spent +a half hour or more beside the sea-water basin; and would even, now +and then, assist me to restore the creatures to their proper +positions.</p> + +<p>At first she would push her sleeves only an inch or two above the +wrists; but, after awhile, they were tucked above the elbows, and I +could admire as much as I wanted the beautiful white arms—a favor no +modest woman will allow anyone but her own husband.</p> + +<p>As the work had to be done, and as we did not want a third party to +have cognizance of our experiment, the fair widow was obliged to +assist me, and the natural result of the bared arms was: I became her +legal husband. Therefore, it was neither through magic, nor +witch-craft, nor yet through seductive arts employed by myself, that I +became the legal protector of the richest, and handsomest young widow +in Nimeguen.</p> + +<p>("The truth of the matter is: the modest Dutch widow bewitched the +valiant gunner, and compelled him to marry her!" was the chair's +sarcastic interpolation.)</p> + +<p>Well, be that as it may, the lady was amply rewarded for marrying me. +The <i>scalaria retrotorsa</i> resulting from my experiment, brought her +enormous<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[Pg 227]</a></span> wealth. We did not know, at last, what to do with all the +money that kept pouring into our coffers; but, the larger portion of +her reward by far, she found in the conjugal fidelity I vowed to her. +I would not have believed that I possessed so many of the attributes +necessary to the making of a pattern husband, and my wife would have +been entirely satisfied with me, had I been a captain like her first +spouse.</p> + +<p>But I was only a gunner!</p> + +<p>My predecessor had been a captain, it is true, but he had never seen a +battle; and when, on <i>Corpus Christi</i>, he commanded the city militia, +and gave orders to fire the salute, he always pressed his hands +against his ears to shut out the noise.</p> + +<p>Still, his title gave his wife the right to call herself "Frau +Hauptmannin;" while, as my wife she was merely "Constablerinn"—a +degradation intolerable to any proud-spirited woman.</p> + +<p>I tried to purchase at least a lieutenant's commission; but there were +fifty-six applicants for the position ahead of me; and there was no +telling how many years I should have to wait for my turn.</p> + +<p>My wife at last became so sensitive that, in order to escape being +addressed by the inferior title, she ceased to go out of the house; +and when she had occasion to make mention of me to any one, she always +spoke, or wrote, in this wise: "The husband of the widow of Captain +Tobias van der Bullen." That honorable and high-born gentlemen, is how +I came to be called—through no fault of mine!—by my twelfth false +name: "Tobias van der Bullen."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[Pg 228]</a></span>I must confess, it was an extremely dull life. Of what use to us were +the hoards of gold in the treasure-chests? We did not know how to +spend them. I did not drink wine; I was not allowed to smoke at home, +because it was an unclean habit. And I was always at home, when not at +the barracks, because I had nowhere else to go.</p> + +<p>At the merchants' casino, of which I might have become a member had I +so elected, all the conversation was about matters I could not endure. +The men were so grave and sedate, there was no fun in trying to play +tricks on them; and the women were virtuous to such a degree, that not +one of them would have allowed a barn-yard cock to scratch worms for +more than one hen.</p> + +<p>As all married men know, women are peculiar creatures. There are times +when they become impressed with a desire to possess certain things +that—so say the sagacious doctors—it is unwise, nay dangerous, to +refuse to gratify the request. I have heard said, that a woman has +been known to long for a dish of shoemaker's paste; another believed +she would collapse if she did not get a frog to devour; still another, +vowed she could not survive, if her husband did not rise from his bed +at midnight, and hasten to the nearest grocery for a box of superfine +wagon grease!</p> + +<p>Now, my wife was seized with a longing to possess a sheet of +parchment—a desire, you will say, that might easily have been +gratified. But, the sort of parchment she wanted did not grow on every +bush! A document, engrossed with the words which certified that her +hus<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[Pg 229]</a></span>band was a captain, was what she craved. But, where was I to +procure it?</p> + +<p>Chance one day brought me face to face with an old acquaintance, +Mynheer Ruissen. He recognized me at once. It would have been useless +to deny my identity; moreover, there had been established between us a +certain good-fellowship that justified me in believing I might safely +take him into my confidence.</p> + +<p>He told me how zealously the officers of the law were searching +throughout Germany for the fugitive, who had substituted tin +church-vessels for the gold and silver ones used in the Templars' +castle; and for having caused the wonderful metamorphosis of the +Hamburg moo-calf.</p> + +<p>("Fine phrases for robbery, and assassination!" commented the chair).</p> + +<p>It was fortunate for me that I was known in Holland only under the +name of my wife's deceased husband; had the worthy Dutchmen known who +I was, the German authorities would not have remained long in +ignorance as to the whereabouts of the fugitive criminal they were +seeking.</p> + +<p>I confided to Mynheer Ruissen my desire to obtain the title of captain +in order to prevent my wife from grieving herself to death.</p> + +<p>"Well, my son," he observed after a moment's deliberation, "it isn't +such an easy matter to get to be a captain—on shore. There is no war +now. These Hollanders prefer to look on fighting at a distance. If you +want to become a captain, come with me to sea. I am<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[Pg 230]</a></span> on my way to East +India, with small arms and cannons for the nabob Nujuf Khan, of +Bengal. There's a general in his army, who is a countryman of yours—a +Reinhard Walter. He was an adventurer like yourself when he went to +India; and now he is a distinguished man. He changed his name to +'Sommer,' and the natives out yonder call him 'Sumro.' He is in need +of soldiers, especially skilled gunners. If you will come with me—who +can tell?—you may become not only a captain, but a prince within a +twelve-month."</p> + +<p>The tales Mynheer Ruissen related of General Sommer's success in +Bengal were so marvelous, they inflamed me with the desire to try my +fortune in that distant land; besides, the wearisome dullness of my +monotonous existence in Nimeguen was driving me to madness. I decided +to accompany the Mynheer, whom I introduced to my wife. She was almost +beside herself with delight, when he told her he knew of a land in +which there grew a tree, called the banyan, with a thousand branches, +every one bearing a hundred figs, in every one of which might be found +a captain's commission. And these wonderful figs might be had for the +plucking, by any one who would take the trouble to journey to that +distant land.</p> + +<p>"You must start at once, my dear," said my wife in urgent tones—as if +she feared there might not be any of the figs left for me, if I +delayed going immediately. "At once! You must on no account miss the +ship!"</p> + +<p>With her own hands she packed everything I should need for the +journey—not forgetting soap and tooth<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[Pg 231]</a></span>-brushes! And she did not weep +at parting with me. You see, the women of Holland become accustomed to +having their husbands go away on long journeys, to be absent for +years. I confess I was not sorry to go; for, I knew that, if I stopped +at home, when the third member of the family arrived, it would be my +task to rock the cradle. I preferred to be rocked myself by the waves +on a good ship!</p> + +<p>Two days later I bade farewell for a time to Europe, and set sail with +Mynheer Ruissen for India. A favorable wind sent us skimming out of +the harbor; my wife waved a farewell with her handkerchief from the +shore.</p> + +<p>"Did you commit any crimes on the high seas?" This query from the +chair interrupted the voyage for a few moments.</p> + +<p>"Nothing worth mentioning, your honor."</p> + +<p>"Then, just skip over the entire ocean, and don't waste our time with +descriptions of flying-fish, and chanting mermaids. Debark without +further delay in Bengal, and let us hear what rascalities you +perpetrated there?"</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[Pg 232]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_VIII" id="PART_VIII"></a>PART VIII.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">IN BENGAL.</span></h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_VIII_I" id="CHAPTER_VIII_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">BEGUM SUMRO.</span></h3> + + +<p>The next morning Hugo resumed his confession:</p> + +<p>I hope the honorable gentlemen of the court will pardon me, and not +imagine I wish to prolong this hearing, if I mention what may seem +trifling details. They are absolutely necessary to render intelligible +the recital of my most serious transgressions: idolatry, polygamy, and +regicide—</p> + +<p>"All of which you will prove to have been so many praiseworthy acts!" +interpolated the chair.</p> + +<p>To begin with—continued the prisoner, paying no heed to the chair's +interpolation—from one of the upper windows of a tall tower that +stands on the left bank of the Ganges, in the neighborhood of Benares, +projects a bamboo pole as thick as a man's waist; and from it depends, +by an iron chain, a large iron cage. A man is confined in this cage. +His food is conveyed to him from the window of the tower, through a +long<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[Pg 233]</a></span> hollow pipe of bamboo. The cage hangs over a large pool of water +that is fed by an arm of the river, and swarms with voracious +crocodiles.</p> + +<p>It is a horrible sight, in the late afternoon, to see these ferocious +brutes lift their heads from the water, and grin at the man in the +cage. If he should break the iron bars which confine him in his airy +prison, and attempt to escape by leaping into the pool, the hungry +monsters would devour him skin and hair.</p> + +<p>"Who is the man?" queried the chair.</p> + +<p>"No less a personage than his royal highness, Shah Alum, the heir to +the throne of the great Mogul."</p> + +<p>"Why is he confined in the cage?"</p> + +<p>"Because he extended the hospitalities of his roof to his highness, +Mir Cossim, the nabob of Bengal, whom the English banished from his +territory, after the battle of Patna. Later, after the battle at +Buxar, Shah Alum himself fell into the power of the English; and Mir +Cossim was obliged to flee to the protection of the nabob of Andh, +whose commander-in-chief was the General Sommer, of whom Mynheer +Ruissen had told me. The English demanded of the nabob of Andh, that +he deliver to them Mir Cossim and Sommer: whom they wanted to cage, +and hang beside Shah Alum, to keep him from getting lonely! But the +nabob of Andh allowed Sommer to escape; and he fled across the Jumna, +where he organized another army. He was again defeated by the English, +and fled to Joodpoor, where he placed himself under the protection of +Prince Radspoota. Here he organized troops after the manner of those +in Europe, and vanquished the rajahs<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[Pg 234]</a></span> of Chitore, and Abeil. Again he +was compelled by the English to flee—but not by the force of arms +this time; his enemies intimidated the prince, his protector; and, in +order not to cause his highness any inconvenience, Sommer went to +Delhi, the chief city in India, where he sought the protection of +Najuf Khan. The full name of this ruler is: 'Mirza Nujuf Khan Zülfikar +al Dowlah, commander-in-chief to the Great Mogul.' From him Sommer +received a hearty welcome."</p> + +<p>"This Sommer," observed the chair, "seems to have been a vagrant like +yourself."</p> + +<p>"I consider that a great compliment, your honor, and thank you for +it!" returned the prisoner. Then he resumed his confession: Sommer had +an opportunity the very first day to prove his gratitude for the +friendly reception accorded him by Najuf Khan. The mutinous Mahrattas +made a sudden attack that night on the residence of the Khan, and +would have assassinated him, had not Sommer hastened with the loyal +Mahrattas to the rescue, and vanquished the mutineers. And they were +fine fellows—devilish fine fellows, too—those mutinous Mahrattas! +The crack troop of the imperial army! They had once compelled a former +commander-in-chief, who had failed, for some reason or other, to pay +the troops, to sit, bound hand and foot, and with bare head in the +scorching sun, until he gave orders to have them paid.</p> + +<p>("I think it will be well to keep that episode from the ears of our +troops," observed the prince with a meaning smile.)</p> + +<p>In gratitude for his rescue, Najuf Khan charged<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[Pg 235]</a></span> Sommer with the +organization of his army; and in a short time he, Sommer, got together +a force of natives, and Europeans, sufficient to conquer a neighboring +province, the chief city of which is Agra; he also captured the +so-called impregnable citadel of Drig, in which rock-fortress he +imprisoned nabob Nevil Szig.</p> + +<p>In reward for this victorious campaign, the emperor of Delhi appointed +Sommer king of the conquered province of Sardhana. Thus, the son of a +grocer in Treves became the sovereign of an East Indian province.</p> + +<p>I trust the honorable gentlemen of the court have received this +somewhat prolix preface with favor. I believed it necessary, in order +to familiarize you with the marvelous changes, which are worked by a +mysterious fate in that tropical clime, where alone such changes are +possible.</p> + +<p>If I could but delineate approximately the peculiarities of that +region, of the atmosphere I breathed, the ground I trod, I believe the +honorable gentlemen would say: "Arise, and go your way in peace. You +are not to blame for what you have done. Your transgressions are but +the fruits of the soil which produces also the boa and the upas tree."</p> + +<p>The province of Sardhana is ten times as large as the grand-duchy of +Treves; and the revenue of its sovereign four times that of the grand +duke.</p> + +<p>It is a very fruitful country, rich in grain, wool, and tobacco. +Sommer built a fort near his residence; and with the aid of his troops +kept the neighboring provinces under subjection. He forced a passage +through<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[Pg 236]</a></span> the forests of Mevas, into which, until then, none of the +foreign conquerors had been able to penetrate; which had formed an +impassable barrier for the great Alexander on his triumphal march; +baffled the hordes of Djingis Khan, whose inhabitants sallied forth +only when they desired to levy tribute on a neighboring tribe.</p> + +<p>After vanquishing these savages, Sommer directed his attention toward +the inhuman Balluken, who offered the blood of young girls in +sacrifice to their gods, and in a very short time succeeded in +dislodging them from their rocky retreat. Ultimately, he undertook to +subdue the royal Pertaub Singh, which he accomplished—but not through +the force of arms: by his powers of persuasion, which he possessed to +a marvelous degree.</p> + +<p>Sommer's patron, as was natural, wished to bestow on his successful +commander-in-chief a new reward for all these conquests. There was a +beautiful young girl, named Zeib Alnissa (the Hindoo for "ornament of +her sex"), the daughter of one of the most influential princely +families in Delhi, and this girl the emperor sought in marriage for +his favorite.</p> + +<p>Sommer informed his patron that he would espouse the beautiful Zeib +Alnissa if she would adopt the Christian faith.</p> + +<p>"Why," exclaimed the emperor, "can't you love a woman who worships +Brahma?"</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes, your imperial highness," responded Sommer; "it is because I +should love her very much, that I want her to belong to my faith. I am +not a young<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[Pg 237]</a></span> man any more, and I have a profligate son whom I have +been forced to disown. If I should die, my wife, according to the +Brahminical custom, would be burned alive with my body. If she becomes +a Christian, she will not have to ascend the funeral pyre, but my +throne, where she will reign as Begum, and prevent my kingdom from +falling into the hands of my worthless son."</p> + +<p>The emperor conceded that Sommer's argument was just; and permitted +the foreign missionaries to convert the lovely young princess to the +Christian faith. This was a concession never before granted to a +European in India.</p> + +<p>Zeib Alnissa adored her husband. She accompanied him on every +expedition he undertook; watched over him; guarded him from the secret +enemies and treachery which encompass every East Indian sovereign. The +successful commander-in-chief had many enemies and rivals. The English +company had long ranked among his opponents. Not infrequently he was +rescued as by a miracle from great danger by the watchful care of his +devoted wife.</p> + +<p>Ultimately, however, his enemies succeeded in their attempts on his +life; and the brave commander-in-chief succumbed to the poison +secretly administered to him. He died in the arms of the faithful Zeib +Alnissa, just about the time I arrived in Sardhana, to take command of +his artillery.</p> + +<p>His widow, under the title of Sumro Begum, ascended the throne, thus +preventing, as her husband had desired, her step-son from inheriting +it.</p> + +<p>This son was a truly immoral and wicked fellow. I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[Pg 238]</a></span> saw him for a few +minutes after the Begum's accession to the crown, and after she had +confirmed my appointment as commander of the fort. He actually had the +effrontery to try to bribe me to betray the Begum into his power; and, +on finding that his efforts were useless, he threatened to revenge +himself on me when he should come into possession of the throne.</p> + +<p>"Very well," I retorted. "When that time comes I shall become a +regicide."</p> + +<p>How little I dreamed then, that my words were prophetic!</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, Sumro Begum grasped with a firm hand the reins of +government. She increased her army, and added several pieces of +ordnance to the artillery.</p> + +<p>Seated on a spirited battle-horse, or elephant, she inspected the +manoeuvers in person.</p> + +<p>Her neighbors in the adjacent provinces very soon learned to fear and +respect her; even the emperor gave her credit for great prudence and +wisdom. Indeed, so great was the influence she wielded, that her voice +frequently decided the issue in the discussions at court.</p> + +<p>Those East Indian dignitaries are a jealous folk. When Gholam Kadir +found that his influence at the imperial court was secondary to that +of Sumro Begum, he marched with his troops on the capital, and began +to bombard the palace. Sumro Begum, however, heard the thunder of the +cannonading, and hastily summoning her troops, joined her forces to +those of Prince Ivan Buk, and drove the jealous Gholam Kadir back to +his province.</p> + +<p>The revolt in the interior of his empire concluded,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[Pg 239]</a></span> the emperor was +at liberty to turn his attention to the foreign invader. Kuli Khan had +captured the fortress of Ghokal Gur. This valuable stronghold had to +be recaptured; and troops were not lacking, but leaders were. Sommer's +loss was most keenly felt; but Sumro Begum was still to the fore, and +she was worth a dozen ordinary generals.</p> + +<p>The imperial troops had been trying for three weeks to recapture the +fortress of Ghokal Gur. They had become tired of the continued +ill-success of their undertaking, and had abandoned themselves to +feasting and carousing. One night, after all tipsy heads had been laid +to rest, Kuli Khan, with his Mongolian cavalry, surprised the imperial +camp, and began to slaughter the stupefied troops. The enemy in the +fortress could see by the light of the burning tents the horrible +butchery going on outside the walls, and decided to take a hand in it. +The emperor's tent was riddled with bullets; two of his palanquin +bearers were killed, and he was obliged to seek flight on his own +feet. But, whither to turn he knew not, as he was in the center of a +furious cross-fire.</p> + +<p>It is quite certain that he would have been destroyed, together with +his entire army, had not Sumro Begum hastened to the rescue, with her +admirably disciplined troops, officered by Europeans.</p> + +<p>On hearing of the emperor's danger the heroic Begum summoned her +body-guard—hardly one hundred men—entered her palanquin, and +hastened, with the battery under my command, toward the thickest of +the fight.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[Pg 240]</a></span>When she saw that the enemy from the fortress was taking part in the +massacre of the half-sober imperial troops, she called to me:</p> + +<p>"Follow my example!"</p> + +<p>Then, she sprang from her palanquin, mounted a horse, and at the head +of her body-guard, charged upon the enemy.</p> + +<p>I knew very well what was expected of me! I placed my battery in such +a position that the guns would clear a way for the Begum.</p> + +<p>In a very short time the valiant enemy, who had sallied forth from the +fortress to take a hand in slaughtering their beleaguerers, were in a +wild retreat toward it. Sumro Begum met them at the draw-bridge, took +the commander prisoner, and, with him in chains at her side, entered +the fort, of which she took possession in the name of the emperor. She +left all but ten of her men to guard the fort, and returned to the +assistance of the emperor, whose troops, taking courage from the +example of the brave Begum, plucked up heart, turned upon their +butchers, and after a severe struggle gained the mastery.</p> + +<p>The rising sun witnessed the annihilation of the enemy.</p> + +<p>The fort was again in the possession of the emperor, who, in face of +his entire army, embraced Sumro Begum, and called her his "dear +daughter." He did not hesitate to declare, in the presence of his +commanding officers, that he owed his life, the lives of six imperial +princes, his empire, and the rescue of his army, to the brave woman.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[Pg 241]</a></span>To this the Begum, with a modest blush, made reply: "Not to me alone +is due all this praise, your imperial highness. The greater portion +belongs to my commander of artillery. This is he"—she drew me forward +and presented me to the emperor. "To him must be given a fitting +reward for the great service he has done your imperial highness."</p> + +<p>The answer to this was:</p> + +<p>"Let yourself be the brave man's reward!"</p> + +<p>With his own imperial hand he placed the lady's hand in my own, and +betrothed her to me with a ring from his own finger. At the same time +he appointed me co-regent of Sardhana, under the name of Maharajah +Kong. Thus, I became—not a captain, but a maharajah.</p> + +<p>"And all this really happened?" inquired the chair.</p> + +<p>"Yes, your honor, and more too—as you may read in the court +chronicles at Delhi."</p> + +<p>"We will hear the rest tomorrow," observed the prince. "It is enough +for one day to have heard how the son of an Andernach tanner became +assistant sovereign of a province in India."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[Pg 242]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_VIII_II" id="CHAPTER_VIII_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">IDOL WORSHIP.</span></h3> + + +<p>The next day the prisoner resumed his confession:</p> + +<p>I was now ruler of a province, with a revenue of twenty lacs of +rupees. I had a remarkably handsome and clever wife, with eyes than +which no gem was brighter.</p> + +<p>But, there was a thought that troubled me night and day:</p> + +<p>What was to become of my wife in Holland?</p> + +<p>My religion forbade two wives. This thought so troubled me, that at +last I confided it to Sumro Begum.</p> + +<p>"I don't see why you considered that necessary," interrupted the +chair. "You had already told so many lies, another one would certainly +have found room beside the rest!"</p> + +<p>I beg your honor to remember that I vowed at the grave of my poor +father to lead a God-fearing life, and to let nothing but the truth +pass my lips. The ring made of the coffin-nail, which I wore on my +thumb, constantly reminded me of my vow. Therefore, I considered it my +duty to tell Sumro Begum that I had a legal wife in Holland; and that, +were I to go back to her, I should find my child on her bosom.</p> + +<p>The Begum was not in the least offended when I made my confession; on +the contrary, she commended<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[Pg 243]</a></span> me for telling the truth. "He who proves +himself faithful to the absent one, will certainly remain loyal to the +one at hand," she quoted. Only a religion stood between her and me; +and that might easily be changed.</p> + +<p>"If we remain Catholics, of course two wives are out of the question," +decided the Begum, "because that would be bigamy. If we go over to the +Brahmans, their sacred books forbid the wife to occupy the throne with +her husband, and the widow from marrying again. But, there is the +faith of Siva; it permits a man to have more than one wife; it +acknowledges no difference of rank between man and man—as do the +Brahman and the Christian religions—nor does it consider a woman a +soulless animal, men and women are alike human beings. An adherent of +the Siva faith may even take a foreigner to wife; he may eat at the +same table with his wife, or wives, after the grace before food, +prescribed by the Prophet Bazawa, has been repeated. We will adopt +this faith, then you may keep your other wife, and I will share with +her your love and respect."</p> + +<p>I thought over this suggestion for several days, for the fate of an +entire province depended on my decision.</p> + +<p>On the one hand a people whose prosperity depended on how I would +settle the question; a yearly income of several million thalers, a +beautiful and clever wife with a heart filled with love for me, with +all the delights of paradise on her lips—on the other: the Roman +pope, with St. Peter's keys in his possession!</p> + +<p>In my position, your highness, and honorable gentlemen, how would you +have decided?</p> + +<p>"Get along with you, <i>perversus nebulo</i>!" exclaimed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[Pg 244]</a></span> his highness, +smiling. "You want us to commit ourselves, do you? I'll warrant you +suspect what would have been our decision! I don't in the least doubt +but even the mayor here, would elect to kiss a beautiful woman rather +than the pope's slipper—especially if the choice were submitted to +him in the province of Sardhana! It is enough: you became an idol +worshipper—forced to it by circumstances. It is your own affair, and +one which you will have to settle with a higher tribunal than this +one. This indictment may be erased from the record."</p> + +<p>Not even the mayor objected to this decision. At first, though, he +wrinkled his brows and looked serious; but in the end he smiled with +the rest; and dictated to the notary, that the transgression last +confessed might be recorded as condoned by the court.</p> + +<p>Most worthy and honorable gentlemen, resumed the prisoner, I must now +tell you something about the customs and manners of that land whither +I had been led by the hand of destiny. Even the sky over there is +unlike ours. Why, the sun of Holland would not do for a moon in India! +Yon flaming heavens heat the blood and brain to boiling; the humid +atmosphere creates phenomena which are like the phantasmagoria of +delirium; triple suns, and wreaths of flame appear in the sky; when +frequently the mysterious <i>Fata Morgana</i> portrays inverted landscapes, +and cities; the vivid coloring of the clouds causes the most brilliant +hues on the earth below to appear faded and insignificant.</p> + +<p>Forests, fields, houses, human beings, at times take on an ocherous +hue, as if the world were dead; and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[Pg 245]</a></span> when a rain falls, it is a deluge +of fire from a sky of brass. And sometimes, the cloud-burst will be +like a rain of blood, and the whole earth will glow with the most +brilliant crimson hue.</p> + +<p>On very, very hot days, when the native farmers trudge along the +high-road (the high caste native never travels on foot, nor appears in +public at midday) the dust rising from their feet looks like a fiery +mist, and makes one think he is looking on the damned in hades walking +amid the flames!</p> + +<p>And there too the soil is so different from ours. There the plants we +grow in pots in our hot houses thrive and luxuriate under the open +sky, and form a wilderness, the lurking place of tigers and lions, in +which the fragrance of the very air is intoxicating as wine.</p> + +<p>The hundred different varieties of fruits, which ripen in succession +throughout the year, explain sufficiently how a people that outnumbers +the entire population of Europe are able to subsist on vegetable diet +alone, without the nourishment of meats, which their religion +prohibits.</p> + +<p>The borasses palm supplies them with honey, oil, wine, and sugar; +another palm yields flour, butter, and milk; and they have a tree on +which grow loaves of bread the size of a human head; raw, this +vegetable bread is a sweet fruit; baked, it is as palatable as a +bakers' loaf and—</p> + +<p>"Stop! stop!" cried the chair, rapping on the table with his stick. +"That is going too far! Of all the lies<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[Pg 246]</a></span> you have told us, this one +about loaves of bread growing on a tree is the most outrageously +incredible."</p> + +<p>"I am very sorry that your honor refuses to believe there is such a +tree. The proof that I am not lying may easily be obtained, if your +honor will send a deputation to India, to make inquiries concerning +the truth of my statements, if it turns out that a single one of them +is lacking in truth, then your honor may disbelieve all the rest."</p> + +<p>"Oho!" sneered the chair, "you would like to postpone this trial for a +year or more, while a searching commission travelled to the end of the +world and back—wouldn't you? We prefer to believe that living +creatures also hang on trees like fruits."</p> + +<p>"And so they do!" responded the prisoner. "There is a sort of large +squirrel, or small dog, that has wings and flies, and at night hangs +by its hind legs to the limbs of trees, and looks like a gourd."</p> + +<p>"Didn't I say so?" again interrupted the chair with a choleric laugh. +"Flying dogs that sleep hanging by their feet! Go on with your fables, +you reprobate!—this honorable court is sitting for the sole purpose +of believing every lie you choose to tell. I am curious to hear how +your bread growing on trees, and your flying dogs are going to clear +you of the crimes of bigamy and regicide."</p> + +<p>I am coming to that, your honor. The entire world which environs the +human being in that distant land, works an irresistible influence on +his nature, and the native inhabitant compels, with his peculiar +religion, customs, his deeply-rooted prejudices, the foreigner<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[Pg 247]</a></span> +resident to adopt a mode of life antipodal to that he led at home.</p> + +<p>The majority of the natives wear no clothing at all; while the rest +bend under a costly burden of greatest splendor.</p> + +<p>The Indian is a mixture of the ideally perfect, and the grotesquely +hideous, heroic at one moment, cowardly the next, free as a bird, and +restricted as an anchorite. He is to be envied for his paradisal +simplicity, and admired for his gigantic creations. His cities surpass +in magnificence and grandeur those of Europe. His churches are +mountains, enormous edifices hewn by artist hands from a single rock; +with thousands of majestic columns, and armies of idols; while his +huts are more abjectly wretched than the dwellings of our beavers. The +Indian, with his thousand gods, to all of whom he renders service and +sacrifices—and of whom not one possesses the power to help him—is so +gentle-hearted, that he will not take the life of an animal; allows +himself to be devoured by lions and tigers; crushed under foot by the +rhinoceros; bitten by serpents; and stung by venomous insects—and +yet, he considers it no sin to exterminate an entire neighboring folk.</p> + +<p>Oh, that is a strange country: where the aristocrat, if touched by a +member of another caste, considers himself defiled, and possesses the +right to cut off the hand, or arm that touched him, and the mutilated +pariah accepts the punishment as his due. Where the wife is burned +alive on the funeral pyre of her husband; where the invalid is placed +on the banks of a river, and<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[Pg 248]</a></span> declared to be already dead, so that, +should he recover, he may not return to the living, but seek the +"community of the dead," which is made up of one-time invalids, +recovered like himself.</p> + +<p>Dwelling amid such a people, every idea the European entertains when +he lands on that shore very soon fades away; for, there, they have +different virtues and different sins.</p> + +<p>"This lengthy dissertation I take it," interrupted the chair, "is for +the purpose of acquainting the court that bigamy and regicide are +permissable crimes among that wonderful people?"</p> + +<p>Bigamy is permissable, your honor, on conditions: if the first wife +consents, her husband may marry a second. But, before the consent of +the first wife is secured, he may not kiss and embrace his second.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[Pg 249]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_VIII_III" id="CHAPTER_VIII_III"></a>CHAPTER III.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">MAIMUNA, AND DANESH.</span></h3> + + +<p>My beautiful Zeib Alnissa was a wonderful woman. On the day of our +wedding, which was celebrated with truly Asiatic splendor, when +meal-time came, and I took my seat at the head of the table, she could +not be induced to sit by my side; but seated herself at the extreme +lower end of the board. This custom, she said, we should have to +observe, until we received my first wife's consent to our marriage, +which would give my second the right to repeat the Bazawa grace before +food. Until my new wife was entitled to perform this ceremony we were +not allowed to drink from the same cup; were not permitted to clasp +hands, or look into each other's eyes. I might not have respected all +these rigid laws, which kept me separated from my beautiful bride, had +not Zeib Alnissa herself understood how to compel me to respect them.</p> + +<p>The Siva religion prohibits the use of wine, which is to be regretted; +for, in that tropic zone, grow hundreds and hundreds of different +sorts of fruits, which would yield nectarious beverages, the taste of +which would cause one to forget all about wine, and disgust one with +beer. Tons of deliciously sweet and aromatic sap flow from the pierced +palm, and the agave, and its effect on the human senses is nothing +like the stupor<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[Pg 250]</a></span> which results from drinking our liquors; it is rather +a state of exaltation.</p> + +<p>My charming bride understood well how to entertain me with tales of +her native palm forests. She related the history of Prince Kamir +Essaman, and the Princess Bedur. She told me how the prince, who lived +in India, and the princess, whose home was in Persia, were brought +together while they slept, by the two friendly genii, Maimuna and +Danesh, who bore the sleeping lovers on their pinions to the place of +meeting, and then back to their homes again. It was an interesting +tale, but I grew very sleepy while listening to it. I am convinced +that the spicy potion Zeib Alnissa prepared for me caused the +drowsiness, and I only remember that, as I sank back on my pillow, she +placed the prohibitory unsheathed sword between herself and me.</p> + +<p>The moment I closed my eyes in sleep I quitted this earth. I could +hear the rustle of wings as I was borne swiftly through the clouds, +which parted with a sound like thunder—as when they are rent by +lightning. By the light of the stars I could see that I was lying on +the wings of the Jinnee, Danesh.</p> + +<p>He was of gigantic form; his wings, like those of a bat stretched from +horizon to horizon; his hair looked like bamboo rods, and his beard +like palm leaves.</p> + +<p>So swift was our flight that the moon changed from full to last +quarter above us. A meteor raced to overtake us, but, when it came +abreast with Danesh, he thrust out his foot, and gave it a kick that +burst it, and sent myriads of sparks flying in all directions. +Looking<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[Pg 251]</a></span> downward, I saw China, which I recognized by its porcelain +towers, and long canals. Then Thibet, with the snow-clad summits of +the Himalayan range, and the great Mongolian plain.</p> + +<p>At last we arrived over Mount Ararat. I knew where I was, by the +tongues of flame which encircled the mount like a wreath. They were +the altars of the fire-worshipping Parsees—the source of Baku's +eternal fires; and Danesh was one of the great spirits of the +flame-adoring heathen. On the summit of Mount Ararat was a magnificent +palace—to describe its splendors is impossible to the human tongue! +Its walls were covered with the names of those persons who have been +happy, and have thanked God therefor. The letters in which the names +are written are so radiant, they make night as light as day.</p> + +<p>Here, in a sumptuous apartment, with silken hangings, and glittering +with gems, Danesh laid me gently down on a divan; and immediately +began to laugh in a tone that sounded like thunder.</p> + +<p>In answer to his laughter, there came a sound from the air, as if the +balmy south wind were murmuring a complaint.</p> + +<p>"You are the one-hundred-thousandth part of a minute late," called +Danesh.</p> + +<p>"And you are three-hundred-thousand eons ahead of time," replied the +second Voice; and the next instant Maimuna descended from the sky.</p> + +<p>This Jinnee was also of giant stature, but of feminine form. Her +ringlets were of sea-coral, her wings of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[Pg 252]</a></span> gleaming mother-of-pearl, +and on them she bore a woman whom she laid by my side on the divan.</p> + +<p>Then the two genii suddenly changed to vapor; one blue, the other +yellow; and while I was staring at them the two columns of smoke sank +into two large crystal decanters, which stood on the table among the +costly viands and wines.</p> + +<p>Then I turned to look at the woman by my side—it was my own wife, the +one I had left in Nimeguen, only that she was more beautiful, and +garbed more elegantly than I had ever seen her.</p> + +<p>Her voice too was sweeter, her caresses more endearing; she seemed +more like a celestial being than a woman of flesh and blood. We +showered kisses on each other; I could read in her radiant countenance +how overjoyed she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured to +clasp her once more in my arms.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 369px;"><a name="image-3" id="image-3"></a> +<img src="images/image-3.jpg" width="369" height="500" alt=""I could read in her radiant countenance how overjoyed she was to be with me again" title="" /> +</div> +<p class="caption">"I could read in her radiant countenance how overjoyed +she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured to clasp her once +more in my arms"</p> + +<p>We committed a thousand foolish acts; laughed, teased each other like +children. We seated ourselves at the bountifully spread board; I +shared every bite she took; drank out of her glass; we sat on the same +chair, drank of every bottle, and found each one sweeter, more +delicious than the last.</p> + +<p>"Let us taste what is in those bottles too," suggested my wife, +pointing toward the two decanters—one blue, the other yellow.</p> + +<p>"Yes, let us," I assented, and I drew out the glass stoppers. But, +instead of wine, two columns of vapor rose from the decanters, one +blue, the other yellow, and filled the room. The vapor took shape, +first the blue then the yellow, and one became Danesh, the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[Pg 253]</a></span> other +Maimuna, and we knew that our bliss was at an end—that we should have +to part.</p> + +<p>We added our names to those gleaming on the walls, to certify that we +also had been happy there.</p> + +<p>After I had written my name, it occurred to me that I had something +important to tell my wife; so I said to her: "My love, I must tell you +that I have become a king; and that I have taken a second wife. I want +to ask a favor of you; will you consent to let me kiss and embrace her +as I do you?"</p> + +<p>The woman replied: "I do consent."</p> + +<p>That I might have proof of our having spent a blissful hour together, +and that she had given me the desired permission to take a second +wife, she pressed my hand so tightly in her own, that the wedding ring +on my finger—the one with which I had espoused her—burst asunder. +And that she also might possess evidence of our meeting, I gave her +the "lingam"—the symbol of the Siva faith—I wore on my arm attached +to a gold bracelet. I also tore from the canopy over our divan a small +piece of the material of which it was made—crimson silk woven with +dragons in gold thread.</p> + +<p>Then the two genii took us again on their wings, and soon I was +speeding again amid the clouds, with the glittering stars above me.</p> + +<p>The icy summits of the Himalayas were already gleaming with the rosy +hues of dawn, on noting which Danesh increased his speed. I heard the +sea murmuring below—a ray of sunlight from the eastern mountains +pierced through Danesh like an arrow, he<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[Pg 254]</a></span> dropped me and I fell to the +earth. Fortunately I had not far to fall—only from my bed, in the +palace of Sardhana, to the floor!</p> + +<p>"Was it necessary to tell us what you dreamed?" angrily demanded the +chair.</p> + +<p>"Well, your honor, if the court at Nimeguen accepted my dream as +evidence, and based its decision on it, I think it may also be +recorded here. Moreover, the vision I have related is an important +factor in this case."</p> + +<p>I was so deeply impressed by my dream, that I related it to Zeib +Alnissa as an actual occurrence. I assured her I had really been with +my other wife, in proof of which I showed her the broken ring on my +finger.</p> + +<p>"It is a most wonderful occurrence!" was Zeib Alnissa's comment, when +I concluded my recital. "Write out the whole vision, exactly as you +related it to me, and we will send it to your wife in Holland. One of +my captains shall hasten with the document after the messenger you +have sent to her with the letter asking her to consent to our +marriage."</p> + +<p>I acted in accordance with the suggestion, and wrote on a long strip +of Chinese palm-paper, which is tough as leather, a full account of my +vision. The Begum then sent for seven bonzes, who were skilled +writers, that they might, by signing their names to the account, +certify that what I had written had really occurred; that Maimuna and +Danesh were a well known pair of genii, who maintained direct +communication between India and other portions of the globe, and that +there<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[Pg 255]</a></span> was on Mount Ararat a magnificent palace for the use of lovers +who came from distant parts of the world to meet there. All of which +was to prove indubitably that I and my wife from Holland had been +together in the palace.</p> + +<p>This document dispatched, I believed the question of the prohibitory +sword between me and Zeib Alnissa settled; but I was mistaken; she did +not repeat Bazawa's grace at supper.</p> + +<p>"On what are you waiting now?" I asked. "Haven't I asked my other wife +for her consent? Haven't I been with her, and given her my lingam?"</p> + +<p>"Yes, but she has not yet given you anything. Until I have her written +consent in my hands, I dare not repeat Bazawa's blessing," was Zeib +Alnissa's smiling reply.</p> + +<p>"And I shall have to wait at the gates of paradise, content myself +with inhaling the perfume of the flowers within the walls, until our +messenger has twice traversed the ocean between India and Holland?"</p> + +<p>"He will need to cross only once. I ordered him to take with him +several doves, the species with green feathers known as bridegroom's +doves. When your wife has written her consent, the messenger will bind +it under the wing of a dove, and it will fly from Holland to us here +in two days. So, you need reckon only the outward voyage."</p> + +<p>But that would take considerable time too! I began to wonder how I +should have comforted myself had I, instead of becoming an adherent of +Siva, adopted the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[Pg 256]</a></span> faith of Brahma, or Vishnu, or any other of the +many-handed, many-footed deities.</p> + +<p>"Knave, what about Jehovah?" interposed the chair with just +indignation.</p> + +<p>"Jehovah, your honor, does not forbid polygamy. The patriarch Jacob +had two wives; David had four; Solomon the wise had one thousand four +hundred. But, it would be a pity to waste precious time over dogmatic +discussion. Besides, my wondering resulted in nothing. One hundred and +ten days and nights I passed in the society of my charming bride; we +ate at the same table; slept under the same canopy; but not once did I +clasp her hand, or kiss her lovely lips."</p> + +<p>"I am curious to know how you managed not to do either," observed the +prince.</p> + +<p>"Does your highness desire me to relate what happened on every one of +the one-hundred and ten days and nights?"</p> + +<p>"Not by any means!" hastily interrupted the chair. "We want only a +summary of your doings out yonder."</p> + +<p>The prisoner bowed, and resumed his confession:</p> + +<p>I determined that I would not again drink the sort of sleeping potion +which had sent me speeding among the clouds on Danesh's back, and +communicated my decision to Zeib Alnissa.</p> + +<p>"Very well," said she, "then I will prepare a drink for you that will +keep you awake all night."</p> + +<p>That would suit me.</p> + +<p>In India the preparation of elixirs of all sorts has reached a high +grade. There is a drug which, if taken<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[Pg 257]</a></span> by a man of mild disposition, +will make him warlike and fierce; it is called "bangue."</p> + +<p>By administering to the peaceable elephants a decoction of the +"thauverd," they can be made quarrelsome and ferocious for the combats +arranged for the Shah's guests. "Therat" will give one the +inspirations of a poet; after taking it, the most unimaginative person +will become a romancer, and composer of verses. The "Nazzarani" tax +can be collected from the natives only when they have become docile +and tractable from having eaten "mhoval" flowers—a species of manna.</p> + +<p>Zeib Alnissa gave me some "panzopari" to chew; it possesses a singular +property; it will make even the noisiest tippler so sober and sedate +that his brain becomes the seat of all wisdom. Then she began to speak +of her plans for the future government of our province, and other +equally important matters; continuing to talk to me until morning. And +during the whole time I remained quiet, and listened attentively; but +I saw what I had not yet noticed: that my incomparable bride had a +mole in the middle of her left cheek, and I also discovered that she +might be alarmingly loquacious if she chose. I could hardly wait until +the sun rose. Nothing will so effectually sober a man as advice from +his wife; and the remedy is frequently made use of in India as well as +in Europe.</p> + +<p>A true Indian Singh—that is what a nobleman is called out +there—undertakes nothing without first consulting his wife. Indeed, +there are some who never give an answer to a question until they have +asked their wives what they shall reply. For instance you<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[Pg 258]</a></span> ask: "What +sort of weather are we going to have this afternoon, Gholem Singh?"</p> + +<p>"I will consult my wife and tell you," he answers.</p> + +<p>In the afternoon he will say to you—and no matter if a deluge of rain +begins to fall while he is speaking:</p> + +<p>"We shall have fine weather this afternoon."</p> + +<p>The following day my bride and I set out on a tour of our kingdom—a +ceremony necessary to my installation as rajah.</p> + +<p>An entire brigade on horses, elephants, and camels, accompanied us as +escort. The Begum and I rode on separate elephants, as Indian +etiquette does not permit man and wife to occupy the same +"sovari"—that is what the sedan with a canopy on the back of an +elephant is called.</p> + +<p>The Begum travelled with the vanguard; I brought up the rear with a +good cannon bound to the back of my beast. A cannon, by the way, is a +very convenient travelling appendage to a journey in India, as one is +frequently called on to give a warm reception to the legions of +predatory bands which infest the highways and byways.</p> + +<p>My bride and I met only when our elephants chanced to come alongside +each other at the resting places. We took part in all sorts of +festivities. We bore with patience the wearisome ceremonies attendant +upon the adoration of the serpent, and Taku-worship; we even waded to +our knees in the sacred waters of the Ganges, at the Moharam +pilgrimage; and permitted the frantic Gusseins and fakirs at the +Holiza feast to shower over us the red dust of the highway. At the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[Pg 259]</a></span> +Ganeza festival we distributed with our own hands the "muzzer," and +received in return the "khilla"—each word means gifts; the former is +bestowed by the sovereigns on their subjects; the latter are given by +the subjects to their rulers. Without this exchange of presents, the +sovereignty of the rulers would not be recognized by the people. We +visited in their turn all the principal towns and cities; the +god-burdened temples and pagodas, which are half church, half +tomb—the Jaina animal hospital, where the Hindoo takes care of +invalid dogs, cats, oxen, as well as crows, ravens, and turkeys. We +also honored with our presence the bayadere communities, where only +women dwell. These bayaderes are privileged characters, you must know; +they are allowed entry to the emperor's presence, to dance and sing +before him and his ministers.</p> + +<p>"Not a bad custom, by jove!" muttered the prince; aloud he asked: "Are +the bayaderes pretty?"</p> + +<p>"Enchantingly beautiful, your highness. Their garments are of silk and +cashmere, embroidered with real gold and pearls; their fingers and +toes are loaded with rings set with precious gems. Their gowns show a +lack of material as do those worn by our women, with this difference: +the shoulders and bosoms of our women are left bare; while the +bayaderes expose the lower extremities, sometimes even to the—"</p> + +<p>"Stop! stop!" irritably called the chair. "We don't want a full +description of heathen toilets!"</p> + +<p>We also arranged, for the entertainment of our subjects, a number of +gorgeous spectacles, and tournaments, resumed the prisoner, dropping +the subject of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[Pg 260]</a></span> bayadere fashions. There were combats between +elephants, and combats between elephants and men. (The former are +called "Mufti;" the latter "Satmari.") There were also combats between +lions and boars, and between tapirs.</p> + +<p>In return for all these festivities, my bride's relatives entertained +us with a feast of lanterns; and games of chess, which were played +with living chess-men. We also visited the most remote corners of our +kingdom, where dwelt the Thugs, a community whose faith permits them +to strangle all foreigners; the Bheels, who worship epidemics instead +of gods; the colony of the Quadrumans, whose king is called "Dengue," +and his subjects "apes."</p> + +<p>Every day of our journey brought something new and interesting. After +our visit to the "City of the Seven Sages" we went to the "City of the +King's Tombs," where are four magnificent temples, under each of which +rest the remains of a king. There are no other inhabitants in this +city.</p> + +<p>Then followed the pilgrimage to Buddha's tree; for, although we were +adherents of the Sivan faith, we were obliged, in order to win the +favor of the majority of our subjects, to pay deference to their +deity.</p> + +<p>Then we journeyed to the "Fountain of Wisdom." There the temple is +guarded by bayaderes, who are not permitted to dance anywhere else but +in the sacred edifice in adoration of the gods.</p> + +<p>"A respectable temple, I must say!" ironically commented the chair, to +which the prince appended his good-humored observation:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[Pg 261]</a></span>"Their liturgy can't be very tedious!"</p> + +<p>During all this time, I saw my bride only when she was seated on a +throne, on an elephant, or in a palanquin. The opportunities for an +exchange of words were rare. On the one hundred and tenth day we set +out on our return home. On the morning of that day, Zeib Alnissa sent +me a letter in which she gave me the welcome news that what might be +called our "St. Joseph's marriage" would soon come to a conclusion. +The carrier dove had returned from Holland with the longed-for consent +from my first wife.</p> + +<p>Before leaving our capital, we had arranged for a fitting reception to +greet our return. When our cavalcade should approach the city gates, +all the most distinguished residents, the raos, the singhs, the sages, +bonzes and holy men were to meet us at the head of a gorgeous pageant +and greet me as "Rajah," to which title our tour would have given me +the right.</p> + +<p>Then would follow a splendid feast, that would conclude with the +"utterpan" ceremony, in which every guest receives from the rajah's +own hands a handkerchief perfumed with rose-water.</p> + +<p>The rajah receives the utterpan from his wife, of whom he may demand +that the rose-water perfuming be performed in the zenana.</p> + +<p>The zenana is that portion of the palace which only the rajah and his +wives may enter.</p> + +<p>I am ashamed to confess it, honorable gentlemen of the court, but I +was so rejoiced, so proud of my success, my extraordinary good fortune +filled my soul to such a degree, that I never once thought to offer a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[Pg 262]</a></span> +prayer to the god Siva, who had bestowed all the good gifts on me, or +to Jehovah, who could take them all from me.</p> + +<p>The fakir, who, in his religious enthusiasm, carries on his head a pot +of earth until the orange seed planted in it sprouts, grows to a tree, +blooms and bears fruit; who binds himself to a post, that he may sleep +standing so as not to lose his balance and drop the pot from his +head—that fakir does not suffer half as much as did I those one +hundred and ten days and nights, when I was forced to refrain from +saying to the most beautiful of women: "O, thou my sweetest one!"</p> + +<p>But the last day of such restraint and torture was at hand. Before us +lay the capital; the gilded roofs of its palaces gleamed through the +humid atmosphere.</p> + +<p>Already I could see rising from the market-place the "baoli," under +which the three-legged stone cow waited (as all believers know) for +the hour of midnight to hobble to her pasture outside the walls. +Already I saw the multitude in gala attire press forth from the +elaborately carved gates, on horses, on camels, on foot—a mingling of +gold, gems, beauty, flowers, with rags, filth and unsightly scars.</p> + +<p>Zeib Alnissa, as usual, rode at the head of the cavalcade, and I at +the end, separated from her by a cannon shot range.</p> + +<p>When the multitude from the city met the head of our cavalcade, there +ensued a tumult of shouts and cries, but I was too far away to +distinguish what was occurring. I could see, though, that Zeib Alnissa +had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[Pg 263]</a></span> risen to her feet in the sovari, and was gesticulating excitedly.</p> + +<p>I was deliberating whether I should ride forward or remain where I +was, when a fakir forced his way to my side. He was the most hideous +specimen of his class I had yet seen; his appearance indicated that he +had vowed not to cut his hair nor his finger nails for a decade.</p> + +<p>"What do you want?" I called down to him.</p> + +<p>"I want you to let me come up there and sit beside you in the sovari," +he made answer.</p> + +<p>One is obliged to comply with any demand these holy men may see fit to +make—especially in face of such a multitude. I leaned over the side +of my beast, seized the fakir by the hair, and drew him into the +sovari.</p> + +<p>"Lucky for you that you granted my request," he said, when he was +seated by my side. "You have saved your life by so doing. Know that a +revolt broke out in the city during your absence. The conspirators +declared that the Begum forfeited the throne by marrying you, and have +proclaimed the valiant Singh Rais, the son of her first husband, Sumro +Shah, rajah of Sardhana. He has taken possession of the city and +bribed the army to support him. He has already executed the subjects +who remained loyal to you and the Begum, and the same fate awaits +you—if he captures you."</p> + +<p>Though loath to believe the fanatic's ill tidings, I was forced to +credit my eyes, which at that moment saw rude hands lay hold of my +beloved Zeib Alnissa, tear her from the sovari, bind her hands, and, +amid the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[Pg 264]</a></span> taunts and sneers of the shameless nautchnees, compel her to +walk to the gates, while a man, wearing the pearl-decorated hat of a +sovereign, climbed to the vacated seat in the sovari.</p> + +<p>It was the infamous profligate who, by reason of the honors to which +his father had attained, was a prince, but who was, by birth, merely a +German nobody, like myself.</p> + +<p>He had deposed the Begum as he had threatened, had laid chains on +her—the heroic deliverer of her people—and this he had been able to +accomplish because he had become an adherent of the religion of +Buddha, and because the Begum had become a worshipper of Siva—</p> + +<p>"The like of that never could have happened in Europe," interpolated +the prince.</p> + +<p>My rage and fury were boundless. In one brief moment to lose my +kingdom and my bride; to be robbed of power and love; to be forced to +look on helpless while a cowardly knave stole my treasures, chief of +which was my beautiful Zeib Alnissa!</p> + +<p>It was more than Christian patience and Siva humility could endure.</p> + +<p>I unstrapped the cannon at the back of the sovari. The new rajah was +haranguing the crowd gathered about his elephant, and gesticulating +rapidly with his hands, as he gave his orders.</p> + +<p>I took aim at his majesty—Boom! The next instant there was no head on +the rajah's shoulders, but his arms continued to move convulsively.</p> + +<p>Then I turned my elephant's head in the opposite<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[Pg 265]</a></span> direction, and urged +him to the swiftest gait he was able to go.</p> + +<p>A troop of horsemen followed me, but I dashed into the jungle, and +soon distanced my pursuers. My life was saved, but only my miserable +life. I had nothing, was nothing—</p> + +<p>"Oh, yes," interrupted the chair, "you were a good deal: the husband +of two wives, and murderer of one king—"</p> + +<p>"<i>Minorem nego, majorem non concedo</i>," interposed the prince. "As the +prisoner's second marriage was—as he aptly described it: a St. +Joseph's union—merely one of form, he cannot be said to have +committed bigamy. And concerning the killing of the rajah—<i>qui bene +distinguit, bene docet!</i>—we would understand thereby that a crime had +been committed by a subject against a crowned head. But, if one king +kills another one, it cannot be called regicide, but ordinary +homicide, which, in the prisoner's case, was justifiable +manslaughter—"</p> + +<p>"I knew it!" exclaimed the chair. "I knew the rascal would talk +himself out of the three capital crimes: idolatry, bigamy, regicide, +and prove himself as innocent as St. Susanna!"</p> + +<p>But, continued the prisoner, even had I not been robbed of my wealth, +of what use would it have been to me? I had come to India to win the +rank of captain—not to become a rajah. It is a deal better to be a +pensioned captain than a deposed king. The new rajah of Sardhana set a +large price on my head; had I fled the accursed country then, I should +have spared<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[Pg 266]</a></span> myself the terrible misfortunes which overtook me later.</p> + +<p>I joined the Bandasaris, who have no fixed residence, but rove +continuously between the Ganges and the Indus. They are a race like +our gypsies. I believed I might organize them into an army and win +back my kingdom, and liberate my beautiful Zeib Alnissa, but the +blessing of God did not rest on my undertaking.</p> + +<p>When I had got my army ready to march to Sardhana, the chief of the +tribe changed his mind about letting me use his people to win back my +throne, and, instead, sold me to the English company, which +corporation had also offered a price for my head. Thus my unfortunate +cranium became the property of the powerful East India Company, and +there, if nowhere else, a man learns how to pray.</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[Pg 267]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_IX" id="PART_IX"></a>PART IX.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">ON THE HIGH SEAS.</span></h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_IX_I" id="CHAPTER_IX_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE PIRATES.</span></h3> + + +<p>The English did not think me of sufficient consequence to suspend me +in an iron cage over the crocodile pool. This honor was reserved for +the native shahs and rajahs.</p> + +<p>I was transported, with scant ceremony, to Bombay, from which city I +was shipped to sea, together with fifty other prisoners, who, like +myself, had come to India to seek their fortunes, and whose chief +crime was their nationality. They were natives of France, Holland, +Germany and Spain, and the East India Company believed it had a right +to arrest them and ship them in a body to New Caledonia.</p> + +<p>Now, honorable gentlemen of the court, I beg you to tell me which was +the pirate?—I, in the unseaworthy cutter, bound with chains to a +Spaniard, perspiring over my oars, sailing to New Zealand instead of +to New Caledonia, where the captain had been ordered<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[Pg 268]</a></span> to take us; +having nothing to eat and drink but dried fish and stale water, the +captain having again disobeyed orders, for the East India Company had +shipped honest biscuit, smoked meat and brandy for the prisoner's +food—which of us, I ask, was the pirate? the captain, who plundered +the helpless prisoners in his power and broke the maritime +laws—which, I ask, was the pirate; Captain Morder or I?</p> + +<p>"I say Captain Morder was the pirate—" and the prince emphasized his +reply by thumping the floor with his cane.</p> + +<p>Many thanks, your highness; I wanted the question decided, for, +against unauthorized force, self-defence is always justifiable. When +we poor exiles became aware that our vessel was going farther and +farther south, which we were able to judge from the stars; when, in +consequence of the wretched food, the scurvy broke out among us; and +when at last we also got a taste of the scourge, if we made any +complaint, we conspired together to release ourselves from our chains; +and to take possession of the cutter.</p> + +<p>My hidalgo comrade was an expert in such matters. He showed us how to +get rid of our manacles as easily as if they had been gloves or boots. +It is a very pretty trick, but I don't think I could show you how it +is done unless I received something in return—</p> + +<p>"We don't want to learn the trick," interrupted the chair. "We have no +use for it."</p> + +<p>Well, after we had removed our fetters, we bound the sleeping crew, +and, without shedding one drop of blood, made ourselves masters of the +"Alcyona."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[Pg 269]</a></span>Now, honorable gentlemen of the court, I ask you: Can what we did be +called mutiny? We were not the slaves of the East India Company; we +were not prisoners of war; nor were we criminals. The captain had no +right to chain us to the oars; we had done nothing to deserve +deportation to a savage country.</p> + +<p>On Captain Morder, however, rested most of the blame. He treated us +free men like negro slaves; he gave us nothing to eat for a whole week +but dried fish, though not all of us were papists; and to be more +disagreeably contrary, he gave us smoked meat on Fridays because the +majority of our crowd were Catholics.</p> + +<p>"That rascally captain deserved to be hanged to the tallest mast on +his ship!" exclaimed the justly indignant prince.</p> + +<p>Yes, your highness, he did, but we didn't hang him, because we +couldn't get hold of him. While we were securing the crew, he fled +discreetly to the powder-room, and threatened to blow up the ship when +we went to take him. We had to treat with him for terms. We assured +him we did not want to injure him; we only wanted to leave his ship. +To this he replied that we might go to the devil for all he cared.</p> + +<p>Then followed a twenty-four hour truce, and our first business was—</p> + +<p>"To eat your fill," interposed the chair.</p> + +<p>Yes, your honor, to eat and drink all we wanted. Then we lowered the +large boat, supplied it with mast and sails; loaded it with all the +chests of biscuit, and casks of brandy it would hold, also a small +cannon.<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[Pg 270]</a></span> Then we cut into bits the rigging of the cutter; threw +overboard all the weapons we could find, in order that the captain +could do us no injury in case he took it into his head to pursue us; +took possession of his charts, compass, and telescope, and sailed away +one beautiful moonlight night without saying goodbye to any one. How +did Captain Morder reach home with the "Alcyona?" I really forget +whether I ever heard.</p> + +<p>There were fifty of us in the boat—five different nationalities. As I +was the only one who could speak the five different languages, I was +elected ship's patron, an office which differs from that of captain in +that the latter commands every one on board a vessel, while the former +carries out what his companions decide.</p> + +<p>"I see plainly to what this subtle distinction will lead," dryly +observed the chair. "Some one else will have to bear the blame for +whatever misdeeds the 'ship's-patron' committed."</p> + +<p>I am compelled to admire the honorable gentleman's keen perceptions, +returned the prisoner in his most deferential manner. In this case, +however, they are at fault; neither the ship's company nor its patron +did anything which deserved yard-arm punishment.</p> + +<p>Our intention, when we left the ship was to land in Florida, or the +Philippines, and there found a new republic. But more than one +unlooked-for hindrance prevented us from carrying out the plan. Hardly +had the "Alcyona" disappeared from view, when a dead calm settled down +on us; it was so still the sails hung in heavy folds from the yards; +we could make progress, and that only very slowly, when we employed +the oars.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[Pg 271]</a></span>The calm continued for two days, during which not a breath of air +wrinkled the surface of the ocean.</p> + +<p>"Didn't you say you had taken all the provisions on the ship?" +inquired the chair.</p> + +<p>"Yes, your honor, but 'all' was only the one-half of 'many,' and +exactly the one-tenth of 'enough.' Even had there been 'many,' we had +'more' hungry mouths, and to take plus from minus is not permissable +in Algorithm."</p> + +<p>"And it can't be done," authoritatively interposed the prince. "You +can't take eight from seven unless you borrow. From whom did you +borrow, prisoner?"</p> + +<p>"From a crab-fisher we met, your highness. During a calm, the large +sea-crabs are more easily taken than at other times."</p> + +<p>The honorable gentlemen of the court will have learned from natural +history the peculiar characteristics of the sea-crab, which is of all +living creatures—the human being not excepted—the most timorous. +When a crab hears thunder or cannonading, he immediately flings off +one of his huge claws, in order that he may escape more quickly.</p> + +<p>Crab-fishers know this, and have made a compact with all warships, by +which the latter have agreed to refrain from firing off cannon when in +sight of a crabbing vessel. This is the reason all such vessels have a +large red crab painted on their sails. The compact also obliges the +fishers to deliver half of their catch to any warship they may meet on +the high seas.</p> + +<p>Consequently when we came in sight of the crabber we signalled for our +share of his catch. We had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[Pg 272]</a></span> eaten all our dried fish, and were on +half-rations of biscuit.</p> + +<p>"Oho!" called the fisher when he came near enough to distinguish the +character of our craft. "How can you demand crabs of me? You aren't a +warship."</p> + +<p>"But we are hungry, and have a cannon on board. You know the result of +a cannon-shot during a calm!"</p> + +<p>This threat brought the argument to a conclusion; the crabber, +according to seaman's custom, shared his catch with us.</p> + +<p>"If," interposed the prince in a thoughtful manner; "If it was +according to seaman's custom it cannot be termed 'piracy.'"</p> + +<p>"No, certainly not!" ironically appended the chair. "It cannot be +termed piracy—only an act of playfulness—a bit of frolic! But, let +us hear what other pranks the band of fifty played with their cannon? +I will spread the map here on the table, so that I may follow the +course of your boat. I fancy I shall be able to tell from that whether +you and your fellows comported yourselves as honest seamen or thievish +pirates."</p> + +<p>There was an almost imperceptible twitch of the prisoner's left eyelid +when the mayor concluded his remark, and spread the map on the table +in front of him.</p> + +<p>In the neighborhood of the Marquesas Islands, honorable gentlemen, we +fell in with a Spanish ship loaded with coffee. The captain, in +response to our petition, supplied us with coffee, chocolate, and +honey. This enabled us to continue our journey; we sailed toward the +Aleutians, and met on our way a Russian<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[Pg 273]</a></span> merchantman, the owner of +which took pity on us, and gave us several barrels of good brandy and +salted fish.</p> + +<p>When we were near the island of Yucatan our provisions again gave out, +and we were compelled to borrow from an Italian trader some sago-palm, +flour and several boxes of sultanas.</p> + +<p>"What need had you of sultanas?" inquired the chair.</p> + +<p>Sultanas are not women, your honor, but dried grapes, which are packed +in boxes. When a man is starving he will eat anything! In the +neighborhood of Barbados a Turkish vessel very kindly gave us a supply +of pickled pork; and the captain of a Chinese junk we fell in with +near the Canary Islands, was friendly enough to share his wine with +us.</p> + +<p>When off Madagascar, a Greek captain loaded our boat so generously +with <i>rahut rakum</i>, it almost foundered under the weight; and when +near Terre del Fuego we—</p> + +<p>"Hold! stop!" screamed the chair thumping with both fists on the map. +"If I wanted to make an accurate diagram of your course, I should have +to tie a thread to the leg of a grasshopper and let him loose on a +blank sheet of paper! A courier on horseback could not have made such +twists and turns!"</p> + +<p>"We did travel in a sort of zig-zag fashion," admitted the prisoner +deprecatingly; "but, you see, none of us understood navigation. +Besides, our charts were not accurate, and our compass full of whims."</p> + +<p>"Must have been a feminine compass!" jocosely remarked his highness.</p> + +<p>"To tell the truth, honorable gentlemen, I am not<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[Pg 274]</a></span> quite certain if +the names I have given you are the ones properly belonging to the +portions of the globe we visited. The excellent custom which obtains +in all civilized regions, of posting the names of places at the +street-corners, had not yet reached those remote corners. I can assure +you, however, that we really met all the ships I have mentioned, as we +were forced to beg our way over the limitless ocean."</p> + +<p>"Beg your way!" sarcastically interrupted the chair. "It seems to me +that fifty determined men, with small arms and a cannon, and a boat as +swift as yours might have overtaken almost any other craft afloat."</p> + +<p>"We did overtake a good many, your honor, and all of them very +willingly shared their provisions with us when they saw we were in +distress."</p> + +<p>"Do you remember meeting a merchantman from Bremen?"</p> + +<p>"Don't I? Don't I remember the generous gentleman! We met him near the +Cape of Good Hope. That point of land hasn't got its name for nothing! +It brought 'good hope' back to us! We were in tatters; the stormy +weather; long voyage; and many hardships had reduced our frames to +skeletons, our clothing to rags. When the brave man—blessed be his +memory!—came up with us, and saw our nakedness, he took off his own +coat and gave it to me—may heaven's blessings rest on him wherever he +may be!"</p> + +<p>"He tells quite a different story," responded the chair. "On his +return home, he complained to the Hansa League that a boat load of +pirates was sailing the high-seas, plundering, and levying +contributions,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[Pg 275]</a></span> from all vessels it met. He also related how the +pirates had taken all his, as well as his crew's clothing. This must +be true; for no Bremen trader has ever been known willingly to give +coat of his to anyone. Bremen is not far away. We can summon the +complainant—whose name, I believe, is Schulze—and let him tell his +story here—"</p> + +<p>"May I beg that your honor"—quickly interposed the prisoner—"will at +the same time summon the witnesses who will testify for me? They are, +the Spanish merchant Don Rodriguez di Saldayeni, from Badajos; the +Russian captain, Bello Bratanow Zwonimir Tschinowink, from +Kamtschatka; the Italian, Signor Sparafucile Odoards, from Palermo; +the Turk, Ali Baba Ben Didimi Effendi, from Brusa; the Chinese +mandarin, Chien-Tsen-Triping-Van, from Shanghai; the Greek, Heros +Leonidas Karaiskakis, from Tricala; the—"</p> + +<p>"Enough! enough!" roared the mayor clapping his hands to his ears. "I +don't want to hear another name. Rather will I believe every word you +say! You were sea-beggars, impoverished voyagers—anything but +pirates! Will your highness permit us to erase also this indictment +from the register?" The prince assenting, his honor added: "Now we +will hear how the crime of cannibalism will be disposed of."</p> + +<p>"I will first take the liberty to remind the honorable gentlemen of +the court, that anthropophagy is not at all times considered a capital +crime. The inhabitants of the Fiji Islands look upon it as the only +proper method to dispose of a captured foe. The eating of human flesh +is a part of the religious cult of the Mexi<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[Pg 276]</a></span>cans; and during the +Tartar invasion of Hungary, the people—as Rogerius proves—who had +been robbed of the necessaries of life, were forced to eat each other. +To such a condition of starvation we were also reduced, a fearful +hurricane having compelled us, while on the Pacific ocean, to throw +overboard all our stores in order to prevent the boat from sinking—"</p> + +<p>"Now you are telling another story," thundered the chair. "You say you +were on the Pacific ocean. If it is a <i>pacific</i> ocean how is it +possible that such a storm as you describe raged there? You shall be +bound to the wheel, if you don't confess at once that hurricanes never +rage on the Pacific Ocean."</p> + +<p>Your honor is right—my memory served me ill—there are no such storms +on the Pacific Ocean. But there are sharks. The voracious beasts +surrounded our boat in such numbers that, in order to prevent them +from eating us, we gave them all our provisions, hoping to fall in +with a kind-hearted captain who would replenish our larder. But we +didn't meet a single ship. For two whole weeks we managed to keep +alive by eating our boots, and not until the last pair had been +devoured, did we decide to resort to the "sailor's lunch," and cast +lots which of us should be served up as such.</p> + +<p>My name was drawn, and I made up my mind to die calmly—<i>pro bono +publico</i>. But, when I began to remove my clothes, the Spaniard to whom +I had been chained on the "Alcyona," and for whom I entertained the +affection of a brother, stepped forward and said:</p> + +<p>"You shall not die, brave rajah. You have a wife<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[Pg 277]</a></span>—nay, two of them, +to whom your life is valuable. Here am I—your brother, who will +consider it a privilege, an honor—as did the brave Curtius when he +galloped into the abyss to save the republic—to fling myself into +these hungry throats!"</p> + +<p>With these words the noble fellow drew his sword, severed his head +from his body and laid it before us.</p> + +<p>"Did you eat any of him?"</p> + +<p>"I was starving, your honor."</p> + +<p>"That establishes your crime. The punishment for eating a body endowed +with a human soul is death at the stake, you—"</p> + +<p>"Hold," interposed the prince. "What portion of the Spaniard's body +did you consume, prisoner?"</p> + +<p>"His foot, your highness."</p> + +<p>"Has the human foot a soul?"</p> + +<p>"Why, certainly," answered the chair. "How frequently do we hear: 'His +sense or his courage are in his knees'—sense and courage cannot exist +without a soul. And, don't we say: 'Honest from his crown to his +toes'—whereby we establish that even the toes possess a soul.'"</p> + +<p>"These are merely phrases—maxims," returned the prince. "If the soul +extends to the extremities, then the man who has a foot amputated +loses a portion of his soul also; and it might happen, that +one-quarter of a human soul would go to paradise, and the other +three-quarters to hades—which it is absurd to suppose could be the +case. To my thinking this is so important a question, that only the +faculty of theology is capable of deciding it. Until those learned +gentlemen have<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[Pg 278]</a></span> delivered an opinion on the subject, we cannot go on +with this case. Therefore, the prisoner is remanded to his cell until +such decision shall arrive."</p> + +<p>A week was the time required by the learned faculty to discuss the +questions: "Does the soul extend to the extremities of the human +body?"</p> + +<p>If not, just where does it terminate?</p> + +<p>The decision was as follows:</p> + +<p>"The soul extends to the knees—for this reason man is required to +kneel when he prays. Consequently, that portion of the human frame +below the knees is a soulless appendage."</p> + +<p>"Then," decided the prince, when this decision was read to him, "the +indictment for cannibalism may also be stricken from the register."</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[Pg 279]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_X" id="PART_X"></a>PART X.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">UXORICIDE.</span></h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_X_I" id="CHAPTER_X_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE SECUNDOGENITUR.</span></h3> + + +<p>Although my crime has been most generously condoned by your highness, +I have not escaped punishment for it. I have suffered severely. After +partaking of the unnatural food, all in the boat were seized with +frightful convulsions, similar to those exhibited by a dog afflicted +with rabies.</p> + +<p>The smallest particle of the accursed food is sufficient to make a man +experience all the tortures of purgatory. I dare say the reason my +sufferings were not so severe as those of my comrades, I ate only the +foot. They foamed at the lips; their eyeballs burst from the sockets; +they bit each other, and rent and tore their own flesh. They bellowed, +roared, and whined, as dogs do at the moon. Many of them sprang at +once into the water and were devoured by sharks.</p> + +<p>When my worst torture passed, my limbs became cold and rigid as stone; +it was the marasmus. I could see, and hear, but I could neither feel +nor move. The<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[Pg 280]</a></span> fierce sun beating on my face threatened to burn out my +eyes, but I could not lift my hands to cover them. To seize the +horizon and draw it up to the zenith would have been an easier task +than to close my eyelids over the burning eyeballs.</p> + +<p>Yet, amid all this horrible pain, I had the feeling as if a faint +zephyr from fluttering wings were sweeping across my cheek. It was the +white dove perched on my shoulder, my beautiful white dove, who was +come to me again in my hour of direst need! She tried with her +outstretched wings to shield my face from the scorching sun, and the +blessed shadow brought such relief that I was at last able to close my +eyes in sleep.</p> + +<p>How long and whither the dismasted and rudderless boat drifted; +whether it touched any shore—I cannot remember. I don't know what +happened during my madness.</p> + +<p>My comrades in misfortune were lost; some drowned themselves to end +their agony; some died a horrible death in the boat. I alone was saved +by a heavenly providence for further trials. The drifting boat was +found by an Indian merchantman bound for Antwerp, and the noble +Christians aboard of her, believing life not yet extinct in my +miserable body, worked over me until they brought back the soul to its +earthly tenement.</p> + +<p>I forgive every enemy I have in the world; but my benefactor on that +Indian merchantman, who brought me back to life, I never can forgive. +Had he cast me into the waves instead of resuscitating me, I should +now be ambergris, for, as the honorable gentlemen<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[Pg 281]</a></span> know, that valuable +substance develops in the stomach of a shark, and I should have been +devoured by one of those voracious beasts. Instead of a wretched +criminal on trial for his many misdeeds, I should now, had I been +allowed to become ambergris, be swinging in a censer perfuming the +altar of a church. The care I received on board the Indiaman fully +restored my strength, and when we arrived in the harbor in Holland +there was no trace about me of the many hardships I had endured.</p> + +<p>I could hardly wait until I got back to Nimeguen to see my dear wife +and child. The child would be running about now—perhaps the mother +had taught it to call me by name!</p> + +<p>How happy I should be to be home again!—no captain, no rajah, but a +father.</p> + +<p>Not the consort of a Begum, but the husband of my wife. I blessed the +fate which had delivered me from the land of lions, tigers and +serpents. Had not I a tulip garden worth all the wealth of India?</p> + +<p>I turned night to day in order to reach home as quickly as possible, +and sent mounted estafets in advance to announce my coming. My wife, +who had increased in weight fully twenty-five pounds, had a splendid +repast prepared for me; and flung her arms around my neck when I +alighted from the carriage.</p> + +<p>After our first transports of joy were over, my first words were:</p> + +<p>"Now, where is my child?"</p> + +<p>"There they come," replied my wife, pointing, with a beaming +countenance, toward two nurse-maids who<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[Pg 282]</a></span> were descending the +staircase. One of the maids led by the hand a little toddling lad; the +other carried an infant in long clothes on her arm.</p> + +<p>"What—what does that mean?" I stammered, pointing toward the smaller +child.</p> + +<p>"That is your second born, you silly fellow!" replied my wife, smiling +affectionately.</p> + +<p>"My second born?" I exclaimed in amazement. "Why, I have been absent +for nearly three years."</p> + +<p>"Have you forgotten Maimuna and Danesh?" she whispered, hiding her +blushing face on my breast. "Have you forgotten our meeting in the +palace on Ararat?"</p> + +<p>"Maimuna and Danesh?—<i>Himmelkreuzelement!</i>" I exclaimed, unable to +suppress the forcible expletive.</p> + +<p>My wife, however, was roused to anger by it. Did I presume to doubt +her fidelity? she demanded in no gentle accents. Had she not in her +possession ample proof that she was true to me? Had she not my own +letter, in which I related at length the circumstances of our meeting +on Ararat, whither we had been taken by the two genii? Was a better +proof required than the lingam I had given her at that meeting—also +the fragment of stuff with gold dragons woven in it? And, if it was +true that I was a king at the time of our meeting on the mountain, +then the infant on the maid's arm must be a prince!</p> + +<p>"Woman," I returned in a severe tone, "this is not a matter for jest. +Visions are not real. That I dreamed a delightful dream I admit; but +this squalling brat is no dream! On the contrary, he is a very +disagreeable<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[Pg 283]</a></span> reality! I'll go at once to the burgomaster! I'll +denounce you to the arch-bishop! I'll summon the consistory! I will +not allow myself to be made a fool of!"</p> + +<p>"Very well," retorted my wife, "go to the burgomaster—go to the +arch-bishop—summon the consistory, make a tremendous ado, and you +will prove yourself a greater fool than I believed you!"</p> + +<p>I carried out my threat and rushed to the burgomaster's residence. He +was still asleep, but I dragged him out of bed, and told him the +French were coming to attack the town. That drove slumber from his +eyes; and I proceeded to lay my complaint before him. He kept yawning +the while so dreadfully that I feared he might swallow me before I got +through with my story.</p> + +<p>When I concluded, he deliberated several minutes, then said I should +come again the next day—he would have to think over the matter.</p> + +<p>I was forced to go back to my wife. I couldn't help myself, for I +hadn't a groschen to my name, and the Nimeguen inns will not receive a +guest unless he pays in advance for his entertainment.</p> + +<p>To my shame therefore I was compelled to go home, and now it was my +wife who raged and scolded. She said I might complain as much, and to +whomsoever I wanted, it would benefit me nothing. If I did not accept +the situation with a good humor, mine would be the loss—and so on.</p> + +<p>I bore her taunts, and revilings, in silence, for I felt great need of +supper and rest; but I said to myself: "There is a tomorrow—I'll have +my revenge then!"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[Pg 284]</a></span>The next day I went again to the burgomaster; he was able to keep +awake this time.</p> + +<p>He asked me if he should speak to me as to a Nimeguen gunner, or an +East Indian sovereign?</p> + +<p>"As to an Indian rajah," I replied.</p> + +<p>"Very good!—also: Sublime Maharajah, nabob, or Shah—whichever is the +proper title—be seated." My title permitted me to put on my hat, +while respect for it obliged the burgomaster to remove his office cap. +He continued: "Be kind enough to answer the following questions: How +many wives does the law permit an Indian sovereign to marry? How many +elephants, camels, rhinoceroses, male and female genii, and other +draught cattle, is he allowed to employ in his service?"</p> + +<p>I saw what would be the result if I answered these questions, so I +said instead:</p> + +<p>"I beg pardon, your honor, but, on second thought, I believe I would +rather have you speak to me as to a gunner of Nimeguen—according to +European custom."</p> + +<p>"Very good again—also. You gunner-fellow, take off your hat this +instant!" he commanded, at the same time placing the cap on his head. +"As it is contrary to our Christian laws to take a second wife while +the first is still alive, I shall pronounce you guilty of bigamy, the +punishment for which is the pillory first, and the galleys afterward."</p> + +<p>This did not suit me either, so I interrupted:</p> + +<p>"May I beg that you will speak to me as to an Indian sovereign?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[Pg 285]</a></span>I put on my hat, but the burgomaster did not again remove his cap. He +said:</p> + +<p>"You had command of a province, and a pair of flying genii; therefore, +it is quite within the bounds of possibility that you and your first +wife were borne through the air to the meeting-place on the mountain +you mention. That being settled, what else do you complain of? Have +you lost anything?"</p> + +<p>"No, your honor, quite the contrary; I have found something; a son I +did not expect."</p> + +<p>"Is the child living?"</p> + +<p>"He is."</p> + +<p>"Well—if he is living he is alive. That which is, cannot be +denied—it is a fact, and that which is a fact cannot be termed +fiction—"</p> + +<p>This ridiculous un-reasoning angered me, and I interrupted him, +whereupon there ensued a war of words that raged furiously until it +culminated in an exchange of blows.</p> + +<p>The case was not one for a mere burgomaster to decide; I would submit +it to the consistory. I did not know then what I had undertaken!</p> + +<p>All Nimeguen is related; its citizens are cousins or brothers-in-law, +and withal exceedingly moral. If it so happens that any one of them +commits an indiscretion, all the rest take great pains to conceal the +misdeed. I don't mean that it is never mentioned in private; but there +is not a court of law in the land that could summon a witness who +would admit that he, or she, knew<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[Pg 286]</a></span> anything about the matter. In my +case, servants, neighbors, citizens, all averred that my wife was the +pattern of fidelity; that she had not been known to leave her house, +only when she went to confession and to church; that she had not even +bought a new cap during my entire absence.</p> + +<p>Consequently, my accusations were ridiculous, and wholly without +foundation.</p> + +<p>Her defense had a powerful base to rest on. There was the letter +written by my own hand on Chinese palm-paper, describing our meeting +in the palace on Mount Ararat, and attested by the bonzes, who, as +everybody knows, are learned men, and as worthy of trust as any member +of our chapter-house.</p> + +<p>Consequently, there must be such fairies as Maimuna and Danesh, else +the bonzes would not have testified to their existence. If there were +no such creatures in Europe, it was because the climate was too +severe. There are no elephants in Holland, yet no one would deny their +existence elsewhere—not even the man who had never seen one, would +deny that they roamed the jungles of India! Moreover, is there not +mention made in the Holy Scriptures of a chariot of fire journeying +with a passenger through the air? And did not Jonah make a voyage on +the ocean, in the stomach of a whale?</p> + +<p>If holy men could make such journeys, why should anyone deny that the +genii Maimuna and Danesh had carried a man and his wife to the palace +on Mount Ararat?—especially as both man and wife had desired<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[Pg 287]</a></span> the +meeting, whereas Jonah had never expressed the least desire to enter +the whale's belly.</p> + +<p>Added to this evidence, my wife possessed in the lingam absolute proof +of my having been with her on Ararat—also the fragment of +dragon-cloth, the like of which was not to be found in all Europe—all +irrefragable proofs!</p> + +<p>You may guess that the consistory did not hesitate long to deliver an +opinion.</p> + +<p>Although it was almost impossible to believe that so remarkable a +journey could have been accomplished a respectable and pious lady had +really travelled from Nimeguen on the wings of an East Indian Jinnee, +at night, to Mount Ararat, and back in the morning.</p> + +<p>Also: It was not at all likely that the said respectable and pious +lady, the former widow of a captain, wife of a gunner, and consort of +an Indian rajah, would demean her respectable station, and inflict a +stain on her wedded fidelity. Therefore, the woman accused of adultery +was guiltless; and the father of the <i>surculi masculi</i> found at home +by the returned gunner, was no other than he, the <i>nuptiæ +demonstrant</i>. And with this decision I was forced to be satisfied, +also with my wife and the infant.</p> + +<p>Here, the prince laughed so heartily that he burst a button from his +collar.</p> + +<p>"An amusing story, by my word!" he exclaimed. "I would not have missed +it for a riding-horse! Ha, ha—to decide that a vision really happened +because the dreamer wrote an account of it—ha, ha, ha!"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[Pg 288]</a></span>"And did everything really happen as you related it?" inquired the +chair.</p> + +<p>Everything—I give my word of honor—what am I saying? Not by my +honor, but by the rope around my neck, I swear that everything +happened just as I told you. You may apply to the authorities of +Nimeguen, who will substantiate my account. Because of its remarkable +character, the case is recorded in the chronicles of the city. This +will explain the deed I was forced to commit afterward.</p> + +<p>"We will hear you confess it tomorrow," said the prince.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[Pg 289]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_X_II" id="CHAPTER_X_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE QUICKSANDS.</span></h3> + + +<p>My case had been decided by the consistory. I was not the first man +who had had such an experience; and I was philosophical enough to +conclude that if other men had survived their disgrace, I might also.</p> + +<p>So, I made up my mind to forgive my wife, and live amicably with her. +I acted as if nothing had happened to mar the relations between us, +and all would have been well, had not my neighbors tormented me beyond +endurance.</p> + +<p>I became furious every time I went into the street. Everybody saluted +me as "your majesty." They would inquire how I was getting on with my +crowns—as if I had a dozen! One man would ask me if I had seen a +Maimuna lately; another would tell me he had seen a stork with a baby +in its bill fly through the air. I received scurrilous letters through +the post, and bands of singers would stop under my window and chant my +shameful history from beginning to end. In short, everything those +Nimeguen citizens could invent to annoy me was done. I boiled with +rage, for I was unable to defend myself.</p> + +<p>In any other community I could have defended myself from such +persecution. I should have challenged the first one who insulted me, +and run him<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[Pg 290]</a></span> through with my sword. That is an effective way to +silence scurrilous tongues. In Nimeguen, however, it would have been +impossible to find a second to deliver a challenge; and if I had sent +it by a messenger the challenged person would have hastened at once to +the burgomaster to complain that I had threatened to murder him.</p> + +<p>If I had tweaked the nose of a fellow for refusing to give me +satisfaction, he would have sued me; and I would have been sentenced +to pay three marks for a nose-tweak, and six for a slap on the mouth. +This would have resulted in my spending nearly all my time in the +burgomaster's office, because of the numerous summons to answer the +charge of assault and battery, and my wife would have been kept busy +paying the fines.</p> + +<p>At last, I could endure it no longer. I told my wife I should have to +go away, and she decided that we would go together to Vliessingen, +where she would drink the medicinal waters.</p> + +<p>I was glad enough to accompany her. I would have gone anywhere to be +rid of my tormenters. But I was mistaken in believing I should be rid +of them at Vliessingen. I received anonymous letters by every post; +but I paid no heed to them until one day I received the following:</p> + +<p>"What a stupid fellow you are! Your wife does not need a jinnee to +carry her where she wants to go. You are her Maimuna; and Vliessingen +is the Ararat whither Danesh has transported her lover. He has sent +her a red velvet cap trimmed with gold braid<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[Pg 291]</a></span> and white lace, and +every time she wears it, she signals to him that you will be away from +home that day. Oh, stupid dolt that you are!"</p> + +<p>This was more than enough.</p> + +<p>My wife had received just such a cap as was described in the letter; +and when she put it on, it always seemed to me that she looked +happier.</p> + +<p>I began to find fault with the cap. I begged her not to wear it, or at +least not to go out doors when she had it on. But she persisted in +wearing it, and ridiculed my anger, until I got to hate the sight of +the red cap.</p> + +<p>One day I was obliged to go to Antwerp on business. My wife insisted +on accompanying me part of the way, as I should have to walk a +considerable distance from the baths to take a conveyance.</p> + +<p>Something—my white dove mayhap—whispered in my ear not to let her go +with me; that it would be better for both of us if she remained at +home.</p> + +<p>But she had set her head on going, and nothing could prevent it. And +she put on the red cap!</p> + +<p>I remonstrated with her about wearing it, but she laughed at me and +said:</p> + +<p>"You silly fellow! Of whom are you jealous, here in this sandy desert? +Of the gulls, perhaps?—or the moles?"</p> + +<p>Are the honorable gentlemen of the court familiar with that region? +No?</p> + +<p>Then it will be necessary to describe it, in order that what I relate +may appear clear to you.</p> + +<p>The entire country thereabout is an arid waste, a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[Pg 292]</a></span> seemingly +illimitable stretch of sand dunes, and brackish pools, partly grown +with brown reeds, broom and heath, but so stunted that the horns of +the cattle grazing there are plainly seen. The herders are obliged to +wear long stilts. This uninhabited territory is separated by a dike +several feet in height from the downs, which is a fearful region.</p> + +<p>There, earth and water are combined against man and beast; the two +life-dispensing elements have become agents of death. The sand blown +from the shore of the sea settles on the deep pools and dries. No +plants grow there, and woe to the man or beast that strays on to the +downs from the dike, or the heath beyond. The sand will sink beneath +the feet of the incautious wanderer; if he draws up one foot, the +other will sink yet deeper. At first, the instability of the earth +amuses him; he fancies that, when he shall tire of the amusement, it +will be easy enough to leave the place.</p> + +<p>But the sand into which he is slowly but surely sinking is bottomless. +Inch by inch the unfortunate victim is swallowed—as is the dove in +the jaws of the serpent. Not until he has sunk to his waist, does +despair seize him, and he realizes that escape is impossible. Every +effort to extricate himself is futile—he only sinks the deeper into +the treacherous sand.</p> + +<p>In vain he shouts for help. No help will come to him, for, he that +hears despairing cries from the downs, will flee in the opposite +direction to get beyond reach of the sound, knowing well that were he +to attempt to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_293" id="Page_293">[Pg 293]</a></span> rescue the sinking wretch he too would be engulfed in +the quicksand.</p> + +<p>When the victim's head has vanished beneath the surface, only a +funnel-shaped depression marks the spot where a living creature has +met death, and this sign will be obliterated by the first wind that +blows across the sands.</p> + +<p>As I have mentioned before, a dike, with a road along its summit, +divides the treacherous quicksands and the grazing cattle.</p> + +<p>It was along this dike-road that my wife and I walked arm in arm the +morning I started for Antwerp.</p> + +<p>"You see, my love," I said to her, "how happy we are together when +there is no one to disturb us. I should want for nothing else on earth +if you would but promise not to wear that red cap again."</p> + +<p>"And I," she returned, "need only to wear this red cap in order to +make me perfectly contented and happy."</p> + +<p>"Very well, then wear it—wear three red caps, one over the other, +only don't wear this one while I am away from you."</p> + +<p>"Well—I won't wear it while you are away."</p> + +<p>"Swear that you won't?"</p> + +<p>"No, I will not swear not to wear it, for if I should forget my oath, +and put the cap on, then I should perjure myself—and no cap is worth +that!"</p> + +<p>"Then the cap is dearer to you than I am?" I asked.</p> + +<p>"Do you hate the cap so much that you hate me because I wear it?" she +inquired in turn.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_294" id="Page_294">[Pg 294]</a></span>"I have just cause to hate this cap, and I don't want to hate you for +the same reason. Promise not to wear it while I am away."</p> + +<p>"No, I will not promise—you must not be so quarrelsome."</p> + +<p>"I will show you why you ought not wear it. Here, read this letter I +received from Nimeguen."</p> + +<p>I took the letter from my pocket, and gave it to her. Her face took on +the hue of her cap as she read, and when she had finished, she stamped +her foot, tore the letter into bits and flung them over the downs, +exclaiming:</p> + +<p>"Now, I shall wear the cap for spite."</p> + +<p>"No, you shall not wear it," I cried, beside myself with rage.</p> + +<p>I tore the cap from her head and flung it after the letter. What +followed, the honorable gentlemen of the court will be able to +conjecture after I have described my wife's figure and disposition.</p> + +<p>In Holland, as well as in some other portions of the globe, married +people occasionally disagree; but I believe that only in Holland is it +the husband who goes to a justice of the peace with a blackened eye to +substantiate a complaint against his wife.</p> + +<p>My spouse was no exception to her fellow-countrywomen. Taller by half +a head than I, broad-shouldered and with a powerful chest, she could +hold at arm's length a small child seated on her hand—and it was a +hand, too, that would render superfluous a <i>visam repertum</i>, if it +came in contact with a human face!</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_295" id="Page_295">[Pg 295]</a></span>And from this amazon I had dared to snatch a favorite cap, and toss it +on the quicksands. As I flung the cap away, the woman threw herself +against me like an enraged elephant, and sent me staggering backward +to the edge of the embankment, where I turned a somersault down into +one of the bitter, natron-impregnated pools on the heath, in which not +even a leech can exist.</p> + +<p>I had fallen with my head in the water; it sank to the chin in the +slimy mud at the bottom, and had it not been for my presence of mind, +I should have drowned; for the most expert swimmer will forget his +skill if he finds his eyes, nose, mouth and ears filled with mire—and +mire, too, that burns and stings like nettles.</p> + +<p>I managed with great difficulty to wriggle out of the pool, but I +could see neither sky nor earth for several minutes. It took +considerable time to cleanse the mire from my mouth, nose, eyes and +ears; and it was hours before I could hear again.</p> + +<p>I felt like one resuscitated from drowning; my entire body burned as +if I were covered from crown to sole with a vesicatory. Then I began +to think of what might have happened while I was sitting on the heath +ridding myself of the mire.</p> + +<p>I could not see my wife anywhere on the embankment. What had become of +her?</p> + +<p>I was compelled to wade through the pools a considerable distance, in +order to get back to the dike-road, for the embankment where I had +fallen over was too steep to be climbed.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_296" id="Page_296">[Pg 296]</a></span>Therefore, a half hour or more passed before I stood again on the +dike-road looking about for my wife. She was nowhere in sight on the +road. Then I turned toward the sands, and what I saw there caused the +blood to curdle in my veins—the foolish woman had gone after her cap!</p> + +<p>She had it on her head, which, with her two arms, was all that was +visible of her body above the sands. It was a horrible sight. Her +staring eyes were fixed on me in accusation, her hands battled vainly +with the empty air, her lips were open, but no sound issued forth. She +was still alive, but entombed.</p> + +<p>I thought of nothing but saving her. I sprang down the embankment, but +when the sinking woman saw me coming toward her, she began to beat the +sand furiously with her hands, as if she were trying to prevent my +approach. I could not have saved her. I had made but fifty steps +toward her when I too began to sink. Recognizing the futility of +further effort on my part, I flung myself face down on the sand, that +my entire weight might not rest on my feet, and thus I managed to +propel my body slowly, painfully, toward the stable earth.</p> + +<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"><a name="image-4" id="image-4"></a> +<img src="images/image-4.jpg" width="500" height="336" alt=""Thus I managed to propel my body slowly, painfully toward the stable earth"" title="" /> +</div> +<p class="caption">"Thus I managed to propel my body slowly, painfully +toward the stable earth"</p> + +<p>A seemingly endless time elapsed before I reached the foot of the +embankment, and all the while there was a sound in my ears as of waves +dashing against rocks, each wave crying hoarsely: "Curse you!" "Curse +you!"</p> + +<p>When at last, dripping with ice-cold perspiration and quivering with +horror, I reached the top of the dike, I<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_297" id="Page_297">[Pg 297]</a></span> could see only the red +velvet cap on the sands; and as I looked, a sudden gust of wind +sweeping up from the sea, seized it and bore it toward me.</p> + +<p>Overcome by terror I turned and fled like a madman down the road. All +day long I continued my flight over pathless wastes; through withered +copses, which had been destroyed by frequent inundations; across +marshes filled with croaking frogs, and nesting storm-petrels; the +lurking place of weasels and others, and from every corner I heard +voices calling after me: "Murder!" "Murder!" The frogs croaked it from +the water, the birds piped it from the air. The withered trees moaned +it, and stretched their branches threateningly toward me; and the +briars trailing along the ground caught at my feet and cried: "Stop, +stop! let me bind you, murderer!"</p> + +<p>All things animate and inanimate joined in accusing me; and at last a +wall rose before me to hinder further flight.</p> + +<p>It was only a broken dike; but to me it seemed a prison. Foot-sore and +weary, I lay down amid the stones fallen from the wall. They were +covered with thick moss, and it was a relief to stretch my tired limbs +among them.</p> + +<p>I began to collect my scattered senses, to think calmly over what had +happened, and after awhile I began to excuse myself to the frogs and +the petrels, the moles and the sparse-branched withered trees that +stood around me staring at me as if they would say:</p> + +<p>"Come, murderer, decide which of us will best suit you."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_298" id="Page_298">[Pg 298]</a></span>I defended myself: "I am not a murderer; I am not going to hang +myself. I did not lay a finger on the woman—it was she who thrust me +over the dike into a pool where I nearly drowned. She was foolish +enough to go where certain death awaited her—she alone is to blame!"</p> + +<p>"But, why did you throw her cap on the sands?" questioned the frogs, +the storm-birds, and the moles. "Had not I a right to do it? Hadn't I +a right to prevent her from wearing the cap which disgraced her and +me? Had not she brought dishonor on me once before? Was I to permit it +a second time? By throwing the cap away I was only defending my honor +and her virtue. I did not kill her—she alone is to blame for her +death!"</p> + +<p>"Ha, ha, ha!" sneered every animate creature. "Ha, ha, ha!" scoffed +the breeze sweeping over the moor. No one—nothing in the wide world +took sides with me. The elements were against me; every human being on +the globe—large, small, white, black, olive-hued—all were against +me. Cities, towns, villages; houses palaces, huts—all were my +enemies; I must flee from every human habitation.</p> + +<p>And yet, I am not guilty. All the world will say that I am. My wife +will be missed; she was seen going away in my company; her cap will be +found beside the dike. It will be said that I murdered her, and thrust +her body into the quicksands.</p> + +<p>I am not my wife's murderer. Did no one see her thrust me over the +dike? Will no one testify for me?</p> + +<p>A fluttering wing brushed my cheek:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_299" id="Page_299">[Pg 299]</a></span>"Ah, my white dove! Are you there? You will speak for me. You will +tell all the world that I am innocent—that I did not murder my wife?"</p> + +<p>Filled with hope and joy, I turned my eyes toward my shoulder. The +white dove was not perched there, but a coal black raven, and he +croaked:</p> + +<p>"Thou didst it!"</p> + +<p>"At last," exclaimed the mayor as he shook the ink from the pen with +which he had authenticated the protocol. "At last we have a confession +that cannot be rendered invalid by a pharasaical <i>referrata mentalis</i>! +At last the executioner will get something to do! <i>Uxoricidium +aequale</i>: quartering, <i>praecedente</i>: the right hand to be severed from +the wrist."</p> + +<p>"I don't agree with your honor," interposed the prince. "There is a +law that was promulgated by <i>Sanctus Ladislaus rex</i>—he was a +Hungarian king, to be sure, but he is a saint for all that; and +because he was canonized his law is held sacred by all christendom; it +reads something like this: 'If a man finds his wife guilty of +infidelity, and takes her life, he is answerable to God alone for the +deed—'"</p> + +<p>"Of course!" angrily exclaimed the chair, "I'll warrant the knave +never dreamed that <i>Sanctus Ladislaus rex</i> would drag him by the hair +of his head out of limbo!—Let it be added to the rest of the miracles +performed by Saint Ladislas!"</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_300" id="Page_300">[Pg 300]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_XI" id="PART_XI"></a>PART XI.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">IN SATAN'S REALM.</span></h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XI_I" id="CHAPTER_XI_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE SATYRS.</span></h3> + + +<p>Not until the shadows of night had settled around me did I learn into +what an accursed region I had strayed. It was the notorious +"<i>kempenei</i>"—the rendezvous of witches and all evil spirits.</p> + +<p>When it became quite dark, the jack-o'-lanterns began to flit over the +moor—as if the witches were dancing a minuet; and suddenly I heard a +tumult of shrieks and yells, and looking upward I beheld the most +repulsive lot of females it has ever been the lot of man to see.</p> + +<p>They had hairy chins; and huge warts on their noses. They came rushing +through the air, seated on the shoulders of pallid-faced male forms. +Each hag hung her mount by the bridle around his neck to a limb of one +of the dead trees, and clapped her heels three times together before +she descended to the ground. Then the witches held a council, and each +one detailed<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_301" id="Page_301">[Pg 301]</a></span> the evil she had perpetrated the past twenty-four hours. +I heard one say boastfully:</p> + +<p>"I sent an angry woman running after her cap, which her husband had +thrown on the quicksands, and I let her sink to her death. The man +escaped—"</p> + +<p>Here her sister-witches fell on her and beat her with switches, +because she had allowed a man to escape from her.</p> + +<p>"Let me alone! Let me alone!" she shrieked. "I'll find him yet—he +won't get away from me a second time!"</p> + +<p>Terror seized me anew. I shuddered, and pressed as closely as possible +into my mossy bed.</p> + +<p>Then the hags began to arrange their plans for the next day. They +would send the "Bocksritter" to attack a caravan that was coming to +Antwerp.</p> + +<p>I had heard a good deal about the Bocksritter, a mounted band of +ferocious robbers, who looked like satyrs, and were in league with +Satan. They were even more to be dreaded than the Haidemaken. When the +satyrs committed an extensive robbery, they took good care not to let +a single one of their victims escape alive—not even the infant in its +cradle. They left no one to witness against them; and, as they fled at +once to another country, it was impossible to learn anything about +them. Where they committed their depredations and the officers of the +law failed to find trace of them, it was concluded, and naturally, +that the Bocksritter were a myth, and the story of their depredations +an idle fable.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_302" id="Page_302">[Pg 302]</a></span>When the witches had decided their plans for the next day, the most +hideous of the hideous crew began to peer about her, and sniff the +air.</p> + +<p>"I smell something!" she exclaimed; "something that doesn't belong +here."</p> + +<p>"It smells like a human being," said a second, also sniffing around +her.</p> + +<p>"Ha, if only it were the fellow who escaped me this morning!" with a +snort exclaimed a third. "It wouldn't take me long to prepare him for +a bridle"—she glanced as she concluded toward the pallid creatures +hanging on the trees.</p> + +<p>I pressed still further into the moss and ferns; but the raven on my +shoulder began to flutter his wings, as if to attract the witches' +attention.</p> + +<p>"Some one is hiding over yonder!" they cried as with one voice. "Come +on, sisters, let's tickle him!"</p> + +<p>I heard them approach my hiding place, and in my despair I cried out:</p> + +<p>"If God be with me, who can be against me!"</p> + +<p>Hardly had the words left my lips when I received a blow on the ear +from the raven's wing that made it tingle, but the witches had +scattered in all directions, uttering frightful yells. When I lifted +my head to look after them, the wind sweeping over the moor was +driving before it the glimmering jack-o'-lanterns, which looked like a +fleeing troop of torch-bearing soldiers.</p> + +<p>Just then the moon rose above the horizon. It was in the last quarter, +by which I knew it must be an hour after midnight.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_303" id="Page_303">[Pg 303]</a></span>I rose quickly, and prepared to set about performing the good deed I +had determined on; I would hasten to meet the caravan travelling to +Antwerp, and tell the leaders of the danger which threatened them from +the Bocksritter.</p> + +<p>I cast from me every fear that prompted me to avoid my +fellow-creatures, and rejoiced that it was in my power to serve them a +good turn.</p> + +<p>Only after I had proceeded a considerable distance on my errand of +mercy did it occur to me that I was unarmed, that I had nothing to +defend myself from the wolves which infest that region, but a knife +which I carried in a sheath at my side.</p> + +<p>On my way, I came upon a slender yew tree—a straight beautiful stem, +and hard as iron. I cut it down with my knife, and soon had a cudgel +that would serve me well in an emergency. I could brain any wolf that +might take a fancy to satisfy his appetite with my carcass.</p> + +<p>I found my own hunger growing wolfish toward dawn, and when I came to +the highway I looked about for an inn. I saw smoke rising from a +chimney not far distant, and made my way toward the house, which +proved to be one of entertainment for man and beast.</p> + +<p>The inn-keeper, from whom I ordered some bread and cheese, was busy +preparing in a large kettle a savory stew of meat and cabbage. I asked +him to give me a dish of it, but he said he could not let me have any, +as it was for a crowd of people who were coming with a large caravan +that morning.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_304" id="Page_304">[Pg 304]</a></span>It was true then! I had really seen and heard the witches on the moor. +It was not a dream.</p> + +<p>I had not long to wait. A tinkling of bells announced the approach of +the caravan while I was eating my breakfast.</p> + +<p>There were vans and vehicles of all sorts, and all manner of traders; +lace merchants, carpet dealers, weavers, goldsmiths, on their way to +the fair at Antwerp. They had an escort of soldiers, with red and +yellow jackets, and armed with muskets and halberds; also several +dragoons with buff waistcoats.</p> + +<p>Even the traders were armed with pistols and carbines. All were in +high good humor when they entered the inn. The leader of the caravan, +a pot-bellied thread dealer, ordered everything that was to be had +from kitchen and cellar, and produced from his knapsack a large ham +which he shared with some of his companions. Toward the close of the +meal, he noticed me, and kindly offered me the gnawed ham-bone.</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said I. "In return for this bare bone I will do you a +kindness: Take my advice, and don't go any further today; or, if you +cannot delay until tomorrow, send a strongly armed troop in advance of +your caravan, and let one guard it in the rear, for you are in danger +of an attack from the Bocksritter, who will leave your bones as bare +as you have left this one you offer me!"</p> + +<p>Then I repeated to the entire company what I had heard the witches +say. But, a curse rested on me! No one believed me; they laughed at +me, ridiculed my "witch-story," said I had dreamed it; and the +inn-<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_305" id="Page_305">[Pg 305]</a></span>keeper threatened to cast me out of his house for trying to bring +disrepute on it.</p> + +<p>He averred that robbers were unknown in that neighborhood—there were +no such disreputable characters anywhere but in Brabant and Spain, +where they lurked in subterranean caverns like the marmots. Moreover, +who was afraid of robbers? Not he!</p> + +<p>The caravan's valiant escort were delighted with the prospect of a +skirmish with the notorious Bocksritter—let them begin their attack! +Everyone of the rascals would soon find himself spitted on an honest +bayonet! There was so much boasting about the escort's prowess that at +last I concluded the safest way for me to get to Antwerp would be to +join the caravan; which I did.</p> + +<p>All went well with us until late in the afternoon, when, as we were +passing through a pine forest, the robbers suddenly fell upon us.</p> + +<p>They appeared so suddenly that one might almost believe they sprang +from the earth. They were masked; their clothing was of black buffalo +skin, laced with crimson cord. A black cock's feather adorned every +hat.</p> + +<p>The first salvo from their muskets laid low at least half of our +company; then the villains fell on us with their swords and began a +frightful butchery. The leader of the caravan tumbled from his steed +before he received an injury, and had I not been in such haste to save +my skin, I should have stopped to say to him:</p> + +<p>"Why don't you laugh at me now, Mynheer Potbelly?"</p> + +<p>But it was no time for jesting. I ran swiftly toward<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_306" id="Page_306">[Pg 306]</a></span> the road, on the +further side of which was a dense growth of young firs, and beyond +them a stretch of undulating moorland, where, I imagined, I might +effect my escape. The long yew staff I carried served me well; by its +aid I could jump from hillock to hillock, and thus make swifter +progress than had I been on horseback.</p> + +<p>"Let him run!" cried the robber captain, who was distinguished from +the rest by the crimson ostrich plume on his hat. "Let him go; we will +after him when we have finished here. He won't go very far."</p> + +<p>I soon found he was right. I had not gone more than a hundred paces, +when I came to a mound from which there was neither retreat, nor +advance. It was made up of pebbles, sand and the gravelly soil of the +highway, from which a narrow path led to the mound. On all sides were +deep ditches filled with stagnant water, rank vines and noxious weeds; +so that no one could cross them without risk to life or limb.</p> + +<p>I was caught!</p> + +<p>Out on the highway, my companions of the caravan were being +exterminated to a man. None were allowed to escape.</p> + +<p>When the work of carnage was completed there, the butchers turned +their attention to me.</p> + +<p>I was alone, and defenseless on my islet. The demons came toward me, +laughing brutally, and in my despair I laughed too.</p> + +<p>I said to myself: "I too will have some fun before I die!"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_307" id="Page_307">[Pg 307]</a></span>I loosed the leather belt from my waist, and made a sling of it. +Pebbles lay at my feet in plenty for my David's battle with Goliath.</p> + +<p>The robbers soon found they had to do with a skilled bombardier; my +shots struck them and their horses with a force and regularity that +began to tell on their ranks. Many were thrown from their saddles with +skulls and ribs crushed.</p> + +<p>The fun was not all on their side. Finding at last that I was not to +be taken alive, they concluded to use me as a target for their +muskets. One of them dismounted, lifted the musket from his shoulder, +thrust the bayonet into the ground, and rested the gun on it. After he +had arranged the priming in the pan, he called to me:</p> + +<p>"Surrender, fellow, or I'll shoot you!"</p> + +<p>"Try it," I called back, whirling the sling around my head. "Afterward +I'll have a shot at you."</p> + +<p>"Do you throw first," he called again.</p> + +<p>"No, thank you—you are the challenger; do you shoot first."</p> + +<p>He fired, and missed me.</p> + +<p>Then I hurled my stone; it struck him on the jaw, and broke off his +teeth.</p> + +<p>Then a second, and a third, had a try at me without effect, but +everyone of my shots inflicted serious injury.</p> + +<p>I was not an expert gunner for nothing; I knew that when one is the +target for a gunshot, one has but to watch closely when the match is +applied to the prim<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_308" id="Page_308">[Pg 308]</a></span>ing; if two flashes are seen, then the aim will be +faulty, the ball will fly wide of the mark, and it will not be +necessary to dodge. If but one flash is seen, then it will be well to +step to one side.</p> + +<p>I had the advantage of the robbers; for, while they were preparing +their muskets to fire, I could hurl five or six stones, and not one of +them missed its mark. I hoped that one of the bullets whistling past +my ears might hit the raven on my shoulders; but he was too shrewd a +bird; he rose in the air, and I could hear the fluttering of his wings +above my head.</p> + +<p>At last the robbers were obliged to acknowledge that I had the better +of them. Only one of them at a time could approach my islet over the +narrow path; or wade up to his horse's neck through the weed-entangled +morass, and that one would fall an easy prey to my sling.</p> + +<p>"Stop!" now cried the wearer of the crimson plume. "This valiant +fellow's life must be spared. He will be a valuable addition to our +band. Let no one molest him—I will talk with him myself," saying +which, he got off his horse, and came toward me unarmed. "Have no +fear," he called to me. "You are a brave lad, and just the sort we +need. We kill only cowards. If you will join us you shall not rue it."</p> + +<p>What could I do? I was a fugitive, excluded from all honest and +respectable society. I knew not where to turn. If I refused to join +the robbers, I should have to flee from country to country; I might as +well fly in company with others. The desire for revenge also prompted +me to accept the leader's offer. I would pun<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_309" id="Page_309">[Pg 309]</a></span>ish the people who had +ridiculed me, and condemned me because of a dream.</p> + +<p>"Who are you?" I asked. "Are you Satan? I will not enter into a league +with him."</p> + +<p>"No, I am not Satan; I am the leader of the Bocksritter. If you will +join us, you shall be corporal, and in time you may become the +leader."</p> + +<p>"Thank you," said I, "but I think I should prefer to remain simply a +private. I have heard that the man who leagues himself with the +'satyrs,' binds his body to pain and death; and that he who becomes +their leader must bond his soul to the devil—and that I will never +do."</p> + +<p>"Very well," he growled in response; "I regret to hear so brave a lad +decide thus. Then bind yourself only to pain and death."</p> + +<p>Our compact was sealed, and I was given the horse and outfit of one of +the robbers I had killed in defending myself, and when the black mask +had been adjusted over my face, I felt that I had ceased to belong to +this world. I had no name—was nobody. I was a satyr, a foe to +society. Whatever I might do thenceforth, whatever crime I might +commit, no one would hear of it. The mask did not speak! The +Bocksritter committed their horrible deeds of pillage and murder in +the Netherlands; in Wurtemberg; along the Rhine; in Alsace and +Lorraine. In which of them, or in how many, I took part—who can say? +The mask does not speak!</p> + +<p>Where we roved, what we did, who can say? Not I. Whether the satyrs +robbed churches, whether they<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_310" id="Page_310">[Pg 310]</a></span> destroyed caravans, burned cities, +desecrated convents and routed their inmates, plundered mines, +devastated estates—who can say?</p> + +<p>Whether I assisted at all the crimes they committed, or at only +one—or whether I took part in none—who can say?</p> + +<p>Was I the satyr that flung back into his burning house the usurious +Jew who had escaped from it? or was I the one that rescued a babe from +the flames and bore it on his saddle to the mother's arms?</p> + +<p>Was I the satyr who placed the mine under the convent and exploded it? +or was I the one who warned the nuns in time for them to escape—who +can say? The mask does not speak.</p> + +<p>"Well," observed the prince, "if you don't know; and the mask won't +tell, then this entire chapter of your confession must be eliminated +from the index."</p> + +<p>Then he added further, in order to propitiate the chair: "Why, don't +you see, that the prisoner did not become a satyr of his own free +will? That he was forced to join the band under pain of death? If, +while he was with the robbers, he committed good deeds, or evil, +who—as he says himself—can say?"</p> + +<p>"Aye, who indeed?" satirically responded the chair. "The mystery of +the whole affair is so clear that no one will be able to say whether +this valiant and pious Christian ought to be hanged, or this +conscienceless reprobate ought to be canonized!"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_311" id="Page_311">[Pg 311]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_XI_II" id="CHAPTER_XI_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">WITCH-SABBATH.</span></h3> + + +<p>The satyrs did not ask my name when I joined their band; but bestowed +one on me with the mask. They did not select their names from the +calendar, but chose the appellations of distinguished satanic +personages—as, for instance, there was a Belial; a Semiazaz; a +Lucifer; Mephistopholes; Belzebub; Azazel; Samiel; Dromo; Asmodens, +Dopziher, Flibbertigibbet, and so on.</p> + +<p>The leader was Astaroth; me they called Belphegor, and my +"blood-comrade" Behoric.</p> + +<p>The way a blood-comradeship was formed was this: The two men slashed +their right arms, and each drank of the blood gushing from the arm of +the other. This was an alliance of the first degree. A second +comradeship was formed by two men pricking their names into each +other's arms. Both ceremonies were performed only on witch-sabbath.</p> + +<p>Great privileges were associated with blood-comradeship. The comrades +shared everything; they belonged to each other. Mine is thine, and +thine mine.</p> + +<p>If one of them said: I want this, or that; the other had to give it to +him.</p> + +<p>Whatever one commanded the other had to obey;<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_312" id="Page_312">[Pg 312]</a></span> and if one comrade +wanted to exchange bodies with the other, the latter was obliged to +consent and—</p> + +<p>"But that is impossible," here interrupted the prince.</p> + +<p>"No it isn't," spoke up the chair with like decision, "Johann Magus +proves conclusively that such exchanges have been known to take +place."</p> + +<p>"Well, if it is possible," returned his highness, "I should like, if +your honor and I were 'blood-comrades,' to see how we would manage +such an exchange! There's room enough in my hide for three like you; +but how I could get into yours puzzles me!"</p> + +<p>The prisoner proceeded to explain how it might be accomplished:</p> + +<p>The entire body undergoes a change; the larger becomes smaller, and +<i>vice versa</i>; so that an exchange is easily effected. It needs only +the consent of both parties. All sorts of complications may arise from +such an exchange, though. Suppose I were a bridegroom, and my +blood-comrade should suggest an exchange of bodies; or, if I were on +my way to the gallows, and I should ask to exchange?</p> + +<p>One day the leader of the band said to me:</p> + +<p>"Belphegor, you must marry. You will not be a genuine satyr until you +are mated with a female member of our band."</p> + +<p>"But where are the ladies? I have not yet seen any of them," I asked.</p> + +<p>"I have a bride ready for you, my youngest sister Lilith. You shall +see her very soon."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_313" id="Page_313">[Pg 313]</a></span>I knew that a Lilith had tempted Father Adam to be untrue to Mother +Eve; if she and the captain's sister were one and the same, then she +must be considerably older than I. So I said:</p> + +<p>"Does she wear a mask?"</p> + +<p>"Certainly."</p> + +<p>"Then I'll marry her!"</p> + +<p>And so it was settled that I should become the leader's +brother-in-law.</p> + +<p>In a subterranean cavern in the Black Forest our wedding was +celebrated. The entire company of satyrs were assembled to witness the +ceremony, and when the numerous torches were lighted, the cavern +looked like an immensely large church with this difference: everything +was inverted. The images of the saints stood on their heads; even the +crucifix in the chancel was upside down. The organ's base was against +the ceiling; the winged cherubs hovered overhead feet upward; the +bells swung with the clappers standing upright, and the choir chanted +the psalm backward. The priest who performed the ceremony had the most +peculiar legs; one was at least a foot shorter than the other; and +when an acolyte removed the mitre, the father's head came off with it. +Asafoetida instead of incense was burned in the censer.</p> + +<p>My bride, whom I saw now for the first time, was robed in garments far +more costly and magnificent than any I had ever seen on my regal wife, +Sumro Begum. The fine clothes and gew-gaws concealed the contours of +her form, and a heavy gold-embroidered veil com<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_314" id="Page_314">[Pg 314]</a></span>pletely hid her face. +The priest made us repeat the marriage service backward; and when he +bade us inscribe our names in the register I took good care to look +closely at my wife's hands. They were encased in gloves, but I could +see that the finger nails were long and sharp—which did not augur +favorably for me should there arise any domestic differences between +us.</p> + +<p>Her voice was youthful enough; she did not pronounce P like M, from +which I concluded that she still had teeth.</p> + +<p>We left the church to the music of the organ. I led my bride on my arm +to the wagon waiting for us at the entrance to the cavern. It was a +large, heavy vehicle, roomy enough for a dozen persons, and harnessed +to it were six stag-beetles.</p> + +<p>"How in the devil's name are these beetles going to drag such a heavy +vehicle?" I cried angrily. "Six horses couldn't move it."</p> + +<p>"No, of course they couldn't!" assented my wife. "The axles need +greasing. Here, rub some of this ointment on them."</p> + +<p>I obeyed, and greased the axles with the contents of an agate box +Lilith held in her hand. The entire wedding company now sprang on the +wagon, leaving only the driver's seat for me and my bride. Lilith took +the reins; the six beetles spread their wings, and off we went—the +heavy wagon with its heavier load flying as swiftly and lightly +through the air as thistle-down before a gale.</p> + +<p>I thought it an excellent chance to get a sight of my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_315" id="Page_315">[Pg 315]</a></span> bride's face +while both her hands were occupied with the reins, and quickly flung +back her veil.</p> + +<p>Horror! the blood froze in my veins. They were the repulsive features +of the witch I had heard boast on the <i>kempenei</i>, that she would catch +me yet, and prepare me for the bridle.</p> + +<p>Beyond a doubt she was Father Adam's temptress, for there were +wrinkles enough on her hideous face to represent the many centuries +which had passed since her little affair with the first man; while, +for the development of such a moustache from the delicate peach-down, +which makes a woman's lips so kissable, would require many a cycle of +time!</p> + +<p>"I will jump from the wagon!" I cried in terror.</p> + +<p>"Better put your arms around me to keep from falling out!" laughed my +terrible bride, and then I noticed for the first time that we were at +least five hundred feet above the earth.</p> + +<p>To force me to adopt her suggestion, Lilith guided the beetles toward +the spire of the Cologne Cathedral, against which we struck with such +violence that to save myself from tumbling from my seat I had to fling +my arm around Lilith's waist, at which the entire company laughed +uproariously.</p> + +<p>At last, to my great relief, we descended to the earth, and alighted +in a lonely forest, at another of the witches' meeting places, where +we were greeted by a weird company that assembled from all quarters of +the globe. They came through the air, riding on brooms, on chairs, on +benches<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_316" id="Page_316">[Pg 316]</a></span>—</p> + +<p>"I don't believe a single word of the ridiculous story!" here +emphatically exclaimed the prince.</p> + +<p>"I do," with equal emphasis affirmed the chair. "Johannes de Kembach +has described witches' journeys in almost the same language; and the +learned Majolus testifies to the flying wagon, which a servant in +mistake greased with witch ointment instead of axle grease. Moreover, +a similar tale is related by Torquemada, in his Hexameron—a +recognized authority on such matters."</p> + +<p>The prisoner continued his confession:</p> + +<p>The witches, as I said, came through the air accompanied by their +gallants; the demons rose, with their attendants, from the ground. +Among the latter were several of the celebrities from whom the satyrs +had borrowed the name they bore.</p> + +<p>Semiazaz is the jester of the demon-crew, also the musician; and when +he plays, all the rest have to dance. His nose is a clarionet; he +plays it with his ears instead of his fingers with which he thrums on +the skeleton ribs of a cow, as on a harp; and he beats the drum with +his tail.</p> + +<p>Behoric, my blood-comrade's god-father, is a huge fellow with an +elephant's trunk, with which he signs his name. That is why N. P. +(<i>nasu propria</i>) instead of M. P. (<i>manu propria</i>) is always appended +to this demon's signature. Behoric is also an elegant cavalier. He +wears his tail jauntily over one shoulder, and fans himself, when he +gets too warm, with the brush at the tip.</p> + +<p>All of the demons, with a single exception, had<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_317" id="Page_317">[Pg 317]</a></span> wings like a bat. My +namesake alone differed in this respect from his fellows. His wings +were formed from the quills which have been used on earth to sign and +write documents worthy of the infernal regions.</p> + +<p>There was the quill used by Pilate to sign the accusation against +Jesus Christ, and the release of Barabbas; the quill with which +Aretino indited his sonnets; the quill used by Queen Elizabeth to sign +Mary Stuart's death sentence; the quill with which Catharine de Medici +ordered the horrors of St. Bartholomew's night; the quill with which +Pope Leo X. wrote indulgences for money; the quill with which Pope +Innocent wrote the words: "<i>Sint ut sunt aut non sint</i>;" the quill +with which a distinguished Archbishop wrote his ambiguous answer: +"<i>Reginam occidere nolite timere bonum est</i>;" the quill that wrote at +Shylock's order the contract for a pound of human flesh; the quill +used by the mortal foe of the Foscari to write in his book "<i>La +Pagata</i>;" the quill with which King Philip signed the death warrant of +his son; the quill with which Tetzel scrawled his pamphlet attacking +Luther—and all the rest of the quills which have been used for such +like infamous deeds, were to be found in Belphegor's wings.</p> + +<p>They were gigantic wings, too, much longer than those of roc; and +whenever Behoric needed a pen he would pluck from them the quill which +best suited the document he wanted to sign. After all the demons and +witches were assembled they began to plan evil deeds; and my bride +being the heroine of the hour, she had the right to offer the first +suggestion:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_318" id="Page_318">[Pg 318]</a></span>"There is an inn near the '<i>kempenei</i>,'" she began, "whose owner is in +league with the commandant of Bilsen to counterfeit money, and waylay +travellers. The counterfeit money is started into circulation by the +inn-keeper, who gives it to the caravans which stop at his house for +refreshment, in exchange for the genuine money they leave with him. +This publican has become repentant, and wants to atone for his +misdeeds. He confessed his criminal practices in a letter to the +governor, and told where the commandant fabricated the false coin. +This letter I managed to have conveyed to the commandant instead of to +the governor, and tonight, the former with his troops is going to pay +a visit to the inn. What say you, friends: how many souls shall we +send to hell?"</p> + +<p>"All of them! All of them!" yelled the witches. "We will have some fun +this night! Ho, Lucifer! We await you!"</p> + +<p>A terrific noise and rumbling was heard, and the ground opened, as +when an earthquake cleaves the crust of the globe. From the abyss rose +his infernal majesty, the king of evil, before whom the entire company +knelt—or rather squatted on their heels—</p> + +<p>"What was he like?" queried the prince.</p> + +<p>I cannot answer that question, your highness—and for a very good +reason, as will be learned further on. When Lucifer appeared all the +witches disrobed—</p> + +<p>"Not to the buff?" again interrupted the prince.</p> + +<p>Yes, your highness, and further. They took off their skins, too; and +when their hideous, wrinkled,<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_319" id="Page_319">[Pg 319]</a></span> warty hides were stripped off, they +were the most beautiful and fascinating fairies.</p> + +<p>My Lilith was more transcendently lovely than any image of a goddess I +ever saw—she was perfect beauty idealized! Your highness will +understand now why I had no eyes for the prince of darkness. I had +lost command of my head—for one kiss from Lilith's ravishing lips I +would have bonded my soul to the devil.</p> + +<p>Behoric, the real demon, for whom my blood-comrade was called, now +took a black book from his knapsack, and bade his namesake step +forward to be stigmatized. This was accomplished as follows: Behoric +plucked a quill from Belphegor's wings, and with the nib made tiny +punctures in my comrade's arm, thus forming letters. After making a +puncture in the flesh he would make a dot with the bloody quill-point +on a page in the black book. When his task was finished, the name +"Behoric" gleamed in red letters on my comrade's arm; and in letters +of flame on the page in the black book.</p> + +<p>The demon then presented to his namesake a thaler, as christening +gift; after which, he turned to me, and said I should also receive a +thaler if I would allow him to register my name among those of the +chosen ones of hell.</p> + +<p>Not for a dozen thalers would I have consented; but, for one kiss from +my fascinating Lilith, I would have done anything asked of me.</p> + +<p>I extended my arm for the stigma; but my blood-comrade stepped up to +me and said:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_320" id="Page_320">[Pg 320]</a></span>"Comrade, do you see this thaler which I got in exchange for my soul? +I want you to give me your bride for it."</p> + +<p>As I have told you, a blood-comrade dare not refuse the request made +by his fellow. I pocketed the thaler, placed Lilith's beautiful hand +in Behoric's palm, and saw them move away to join the dancers.</p> + +<p>Behoric and Belphegor now seized my collar, and importuned me to have +my name recorded in the black book; but, with the loss of my bride, +all desire to join the demon ranks vanished.</p> + +<p>In vain I made all sorts of excuses; they would not release me. At +last, I cried with simulated anger: "To the devil with you! Not a +single member of my family ever was known to sign a contract when +sober! I will eat and drink, then I'll talk business with you!"</p> + +<p>Hardly had the last word crossed my lips, when before me stood a table +loaded with delicious viands, and rare wines. The wedding guests +seated themselves around the table, and proceeded to enjoy the repast, +but to my extreme disappointment both wines and food were without +taste. There was no substance to the former, no savor to the latter.</p> + +<p>I began to quarrel with the demons:</p> + +<p>"I can't eat this food," I exclaimed irritably. "I can't eat meat +without salt."</p> + +<p>"Salt?" repeated one of them. "Where should we get salt? There is no +ocean in hell."</p> + +<p>"But,"—I persisted—"I must have some salt—and if you have to fetch +me Lot's wife—"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_321" id="Page_321">[Pg 321]</a></span>"Don't scold so, little man," jestingly interrupted Lilith, pulling my +mustache. "Here—taste what is on my lips."</p> + +<p>"I don't want honey—I want salt," I yelled, pushing her away. +"<i>Donner und Blitz!</i> Give me salt, or I'll skin Lucifer!"</p> + +<p>Now, a curse has the same effect on a demon that a prayer has on an +angel.</p> + +<p>The younger devils rushed with all speed possible to Lucifer's palace +to fetch the only salt-cellar in the infernal regions; it is for the +sole use of the king of evil. This salt-cellar is a large mussel-shell +and looks like a christening bowl; it is filled with salt collected +from the tears shed by penitent sinners who delayed their repentance +until it was too late.</p> + +<p>Two active little imps dragged the salt-cellar to my side.</p> + +<p>"Here's salt at last—God be praised!" I exclaimed in a loud voice.</p> + +<p>The next instant the table with its viands disappeared amid an +unearthly din, and rumbling as of thunder. The demons sank cursing +into the earth; the witches flew yelling into the air, and I fell +backward to the ground unconscious.</p> + +<p>When I came to my senses, I was lying in a peat bog one hundred and +twenty miles from the Black Forest, in which I had celebrated my +marriage the night before with the beautiful Lilith.</p> + +<p>"Either you are a madman, or you dreamed all this nonsense," in a +stern tone observed the prince, at the<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_322" id="Page_322">[Pg 322]</a></span> conclusion of Hugo's recital. +"I don't believe a single word of it."</p> + +<p>"Well," commented the chair with less emphasis; "one thing is clear: +Among the many lies the rascal has entertained us with for weeks, this +last tale is the only one to bear a semblance to the truth. Similar +occurrences are related by Majolus, and Ghirlandinus; also by the +world-renowned Boccaccio, whose statements no one would think of +doubting. I say that, for once, the accused has adhered strictly to +the truth."</p> + +<p>"Very good," decisively responded the prince. "Then, as he did not +sign the compact with Satan, he cannot be charged with <i>pactum +diabolicum implicitum</i>. Consequently, this indictment may also be +expunged from the record."</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_323" id="Page_323">[Pg 323]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_XII" id="PART_XII"></a>PART XII.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE BREAD OF SHAME.</span></h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XII_I" id="CHAPTER_XII_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE MAGIC THALER.</span></h3> + + +<p>The most convincing proof that everything occurred as I related it, +said the prisoner, continuing his confession the next day, was the +thaler I found in my pocket, when I came to my senses in the peat bog +near the "<i>kempenei</i>"—the thaler my blood-comrade gave me in exchange +for Lilith. I remembered what I had heard the witches say about the +commandant's visit to the inn-keeper and though I had suffered +terribly because I had tried once to perform a good deed at his house, +I decided to warn him of the danger which threatened him that night.</p> + +<p>It was very late in the evening when I drew near the inn; but light +still gleamed from the windows, and sounds of merriment came from the +open door.</p> + +<p>The inn-keeper, who was celebrating his marriage with his fifth wife, +recognized me at once. He was not in the least rejoiced to see me +again; quite the contrary:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_324" id="Page_324">[Pg 324]</a></span>"See!" he called to his friends inside the house, "this is the fellow +I told you about—the one who predicted what would happen to the +Antwerp caravan. Every word he said came true! He shall not come into +my house again. I dare say," he added, speaking to me from the +door-way, "I dare say you have another witch-story to tell? Don't you +dare to utter one word of your evil prophecies, you bird of evil +omen!"</p> + +<p>The entire company seized cudgels and chairs and threatened to brain +me if I opened my lips.</p> + +<p>"Just keep your temper, good people," I returned coolly, "I don't +intend to tell you what would be of great benefit to you—your +treatment of me is so unfriendly, I shall not say one word—I want +nothing from you but some bread and cheese, and a mug of beer: and a +bundle of straw in a corner where I may pass the night."</p> + +<p>"Have you money to pay for all this?" demanded the inn-keeper.</p> + +<p>"Certainly I have;" and I handed him my thaler.</p> + +<p>"Ho-ho, fellow, this is a counterfeit," he sneered, tossing the coin +to the ceiling and letting it fall on the stone table.</p> + +<p>The clear ringing sound was unmistakable—the thaler was genuine. +Angered by the insolence of the inn-keeper, I said in a tone, the +meaning of which he could not mistake:</p> + +<p>"Look here, beer-seller; I want you to understand that <i>I</i> am not a +circulator of counterfeit money!"</p> + +<p>"What!" he roared in a fury; "do you dare to insinuate that <i>I</i> +circulate counterfeit money? For your<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_325" id="Page_325">[Pg 325]</a></span> impudence I shall keep this +thaler, and have it tested in the city tomorrow; and that you may not +run away in the meantime, I shall pen you in my hen-coop."</p> + +<p>The entire company helped him to thrust me into the coop, which was so +small I could neither stand upright nor lie down in it.</p> + +<p>And there I crouched, hungry and thirsty as I had come from the +witch-wedding.</p> + +<p>Suddenly the early morning quiet was broken by a fanfare in front of +the inn. I heard horses' hoofs stamping the earth; loud shouts and +curses; and the clank of weapons—the commandant of Bilsen had arrived +with his troops.</p> + +<p>In a trice the doors were broken open; the startled wedding guests +could neither escape nor defend themselves. The soldiers cut down all +that came in their way: men, women, old and young. From my hen-coop I +witnessed the slaughter, which I cannot describe, for I grow faint +with horror if I but think of it.</p> + +<p>Not even a dog was left alive about the inn. When the work of butchery +was completed one of the soldiers took it into his head to peep into +the hen-coop. He saw me, broke the lock with his hatchet, and dragged +me out by the hair.</p> + +<p>"Don't kill me, comrade," I begged, "I am only a poor soldier like +yourself. The inn people took all my money, and penned me in the +coop—you can see for yourself that I am not one of them, but a +foot-sore wanderer."</p> + +<p>"Did they take all your money?" asked the trooper.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_326" id="Page_326">[Pg 326]</a></span>"I had only a thaler; the inn-keeper said it was counterfeit, and kept +it."</p> + +<p>"Let's see if you're telling the truth," said the fellow, beginning to +search about my clothes.</p> + +<p>"Ha! What's this?" he exclaimed suddenly, holding up the thaler he had +found in one of my pockets. "I thought you were lying, you rascal," he +added, giving me a blow with his fist, and thrusting my thaler into +his pocket.</p> + +<p>At that moment another trooper approached, and said something to the +first, about not making 'way with me—that the French recruiting +officers would give ten thalers for such a sturdy chap. Then he too +inquired if I had any money.</p> + +<p>I swore I had none; but he was as incredulous as his comrade, and also +searched my pockets. In one of them he found the thaler which had +returned to my possession; and he too gave me a blow for telling him a +lie.</p> + +<p>Then came a third trooper with the same inquiry: "Have you money?"</p> + +<p>I had not yet got used to having the thaler return to me, so I said:</p> + +<p>"No, my friend, I haven't another penny"—and he didn't find anything +in my pockets; but when, at his command, I drew off my boots, the +thaler fell out of one of them.</p> + +<p>From this trooper also I received a vigorous blow for lying. When the +fourth, fifth, and sixth troopers followed with the same demand for +money, I replied:</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_327" id="Page_327">[Pg 327]</a></span>"Yes, friend, I think I have a thaler somewhere about my clothes—just +search me and maybe you'll find it."</p> + +<p>And every one of them found the thaler—once it was found tucked under +the collar of my coat; another time in the lining; a third time in my +neck-ruff.</p> + +<p>My fun came afterward, when the troopers discovered they were minus +the thaler they had taken from me. They accused one another of +stealing, which led to a scuffle and blows.</p> + +<p>I was sold for ten thalers to the Frenchmen, who, when they stripped +me to put me into uniform, also searched my clothes. They found +nothing; but when they were shearing my hair the thaler suddenly +dropped to the floor.</p> + +<p>The sergeant pounced on it, exclaiming:</p> + +<p>"A thaler profit, comrades!—we'll have a drink at once!"</p> + +<p>Beer was ordered from the inn, in which they were quartered; and while +they were drinking, the sergeant turned to me and said:</p> + +<p>"Are you thirsty lad? You are? Very well, then, go into the yard, lift +your face to the clouds, and open your mouth wide—it's raining +heavily! When you have quenched your thirst from the clouds, stand +guard at the gate."</p> + +<p>I had to obey, and stand guard; but I did not quench my thirst with +rain water.</p> + +<p>After a while I heard loud voices in the bar-room. The inn-keeper's +wife was accusing the soldiers of<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_328" id="Page_328">[Pg 328]</a></span> stealing the thaler given to her by +the sergeant for the beer. She said it had been taken from the drawer, +while she was attending to her work in the kitchen.</p> + +<p>"Which of you fellows stole the thaler?" angrily demanded the +sergeant.</p> + +<p>No one answered; whereupon the sergeant proceeded to flog the men, one +after the other, with a bunch of hazel-switches. But the thaler was +not found.</p> + +<p>Then the five soldiers seized the sergeant, and paid back what he had +loaned them; as each had received six blows, the number delivered to +him in payment amounted to thirty.</p> + +<p>"Fine discipline!" I said to myself. "Fine discipline, where the +sergeant flogs his men, and the men flog the sergeant in turn! It's a +fine service I've got into, I must say."</p> + +<p>I thrust my hands into the pockets of my wide trunk-hose, and what do +you suppose I found in one of them? The dangerous thaler! It had not +occurred to the Frenchmen to search me!</p> + +<p>"I don't see how such a thing could happen," in a puzzled tone, +observed the prince.</p> + +<p>"There is no mystery about it," returned the chair. "The coin was a +'breeding-thaler'—as it is called. A breeding-thaler will return to +the pocket of its owner, no matter how often he may spend it. If, +however, he bestows it as a gift on any one, it will not return to +him; but to the person to whom he has given it."</p> + +<p>"Ah, had I only known that sooner!" in a tone of deep regret, murmured +the delinquent.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_329" id="Page_329">[Pg 329]</a></span></p> + +<h3 class="newchapter"><a name="CHAPTER_XII_II" id="CHAPTER_XII_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE HUSBAND OF THE WIFE OF ANOTHER MAN.</span></h3> + + +<p>The breeding-thaler was not of much use to me, for I was in a region +where there was nothing I cared to purchase.</p> + +<p>I was with the French camp in front of the city of Lille, where I had +been assigned to the artillery, because I had admitted that I knew +something about the management of cannon.</p> + +<p>It was a miserable existence: crouched day and night in the trenches; +or, on the lookout for the grenades, which were hurled into our camp +from the city we were besieging.</p> + +<p>But I could have endured all the hardships if I had had enough to eat. +The French general would not allow any vivandières with spiritous +liquors to enter the battery; the gunners, he said, must remain sober; +and that they might not want to drink, they were given very little to +eat, as eating promotes thirst. If I sent a sapper with a jug to the +canteen for beer, he would invariably return with the empty jug, and +swear he had lost the thaler I had given him on the way—which was +true; for, no matter how often I tried it, the coin would be back in +my pocket before the messenger had been gone five minutes. The +consequence was I was in a continual state of hunger and thirst.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_330" id="Page_330">[Pg 330]</a></span>The officers, on the contrary, had plenty to eat and drink. They were +always feasting and making merry in their tents.</p> + +<p>My captain had in camp with him a companion of the gentler sex, who +was not his wife, nor was she his sister, daughter, or mother—nor yet +his grand-mother. This lady would sometimes accompany him on his tours +of inspection, riding by his side, in a long silk habit, with a plumed +cap on her head. She was a beautiful creature.</p> + +<p>One day the general, who had got tired seeing so many women about, +gave orders that every one not having a legal husband among his troops +should leave the camp within twenty-four hours. That day my captain +came to me, and after making believe he was come on business about the +guns, said: "By the way, gunner, you look to me like a chap who was +used to something better than loading cannon and sleeping on the +ground—"</p> + +<p>"And gnawing dry bread," I ventured to append.</p> + +<p>He laughed, and said again:</p> + +<p>"I've half a mind to appoint you my adjutant—how would that suit +you?"</p> + +<p>"I shouldn't object."</p> + +<p>"Will you do me a small favor in return?"</p> + +<p>"Whatever I can, sir."</p> + +<p>"I should want you to keep a well-supplied table, and invite me to +dine and sup. I, of course, will pay all expenses."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_331" id="Page_331">[Pg 331]</a></span>"That doesn't sound like a very hard task, sir," I replied.</p> + +<p>"It isn't—only there's a condition goes with it. In order to +entertain properly an officer of my rank, there will have to be a lady +to do the honors of the table."</p> + +<p>"But, where can I get the lady, sir?"</p> + +<p>"I'll find one for you—the lady you have seen riding with me. She has +long possessed my deepest respect."</p> + +<p>I scratched my head back of the right ear:</p> + +<p>"If you respect the lady so much, sir, why don't you marry her?"</p> + +<p>"Stupid fellow!—because I already have a wife."</p> + +<p>"Look here, sir," I said after a moment's deliberation, "I have eaten +all sorts of ammunition bread during my experience as a soldier; I +have cheated and stolen; but I have never occupied a position so low +as the one you want me to accept."</p> + +<p>"But, my lad, consider the advantages: Plenty to eat, and drink, and +nothing to do—that is one alternative; the other: in the trenches +night and day, bread and water! I will give you half an hour to think +it over; if you refuse I shall offer the position to some one +else—some one who is not so squeamish as you."</p> + +<p>That was a long half hour!</p> + +<p>I thought over what I had to lose if I accepted the position: Honor? I +had very little left; but, if I had squandered it I had done so with +my sword and musket, idled it away in a hundred ways—though never in +the despicable manner suggested to me by my captain.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_332" id="Page_332">[Pg 332]</a></span>But I had been persecuted and cursed for trying to do good—what use +to try again? Besides, I hadn't anything to lose: I might as well eat +and drink away the little self-respect and honor I still possessed.</p> + +<p>At the end of the half hour, the captain came for my decision. I said:</p> + +<p>"I accept your offer, sir—here's my hand on it!"</p> + +<p>I held out my hand, and so did he; but, before they came together, +each of us drew back—each prompted by the same thought: "This +fellow's hand is more soiled than mine—I cannot take it!"</p> + +<p>But, I married the donna that afternoon, bestowing on her one of my +numerous names; and after the chaplain of the regiment had performed +the ceremony, this thought involuntarily suggested itself to me: +"Hugo, my lad, you are not the only one cheated in this business."</p> + +<p>From that hour it went well with my body—and luckily one's stomach +does not possess a conscience! In addition to a well-filled larder and +cellar, I had a title—I was called "adjutant."</p> + +<p>I saw my bride only at table; how frequently the captain visited my +quarters I cannot say. When he was obliged to absent himself on duty +connected with the campaign, he would always try to surprise her by an +unexpected return.</p> + +<p>One day she was more than surprised when her lover was brought back to +camp minus his head; he had had the misfortune to get within range of +a cannon shot from the enemy's lines.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_333" id="Page_333">[Pg 333]</a></span>My situation now became anything but agreeable. I ceased to be an +adjutant, but I was still the husband of my wife—a rôle I found it +exceedingly difficult to continue. The woman had been accustomed to +every luxury; but, as money does not fall from the sky, I found great +difficulty in providing her with the bare necessities of life. One +after another of the costly ornaments she had received from the +captain were disposed of to supply her numerous demands, until all +were gone. Then she began to quarrel with me and accused me with +trying to starve her.</p> + +<p>I bethought me of the magic coin I had carried in my pocket all this +time, merely as a souvenir of the demon-assembly in the Black Forest. +I said to it: "Now, thaler, show what you can do!" and gave it to the +woman to buy what was necessary.</p> + +<p>I did not know then that if a breeding-thaler were given away it would +not return; and when I placed it in the woman's hand I believed, of +course, I should find it again in a few minutes in my pocket.</p> + +<p>But I never saw the thaler again!</p> + +<p>When, at the expiration of several hours, it did not return to me, I +consoled myself with thinking it must be in the woman's pocket. But it +had not returned to her—she had given it to an ensign who had been an +admirer of hers for a long time. So, the magic thaler was gone for +good, and I had nothing but the woman I had married to please my +captain—and he was dead!</p> + +<p>What was to be done? Should I run away from my<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_334" id="Page_334">[Pg 334]</a></span> wife, and my +flag?—become a two-fold deserter? I pondered over this question for +three days; for three long days I endured the taunts of my wife, and +the ridicule of my comrades, and on the third I fled—</p> + +<p>"I should have run away the first day!" emphatically exclaimed the +prince, giving the table a thump with his fist.</p> + +<p>The mayor's eye twinkled as he added:</p> + +<p>"Consequently, desertion may also be stricken from the register!"</p> + +<p>(<i>Quod dixi dixi.</i>)</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_335" id="Page_335">[Pg 335]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_XIII" id="PART_XIII"></a>PART XIII.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE EXCHANGE OF BODIES.</span></h2> + + +<h3><a name="CHAPTER_XIII_I" id="CHAPTER_XIII_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE QUACK DOCTOR.</span></h3> + + +<p>"Well, you godless reprobate," began the mayor, addressing the +prisoner, when the court was assembled the next day for a further +hearing of the remarkable case, "you have come to the last of your +crimes; you have illustrated how the seven mortal sins may be trebled, +and how the perpetrator may clear himself of the entire twenty-one, if +he possesses a fluent tongue. With your entertaining fables you have +understood how to extend the time of your trial five months and two +weeks, believing, no doubt, that the Frenchmen would in the meantime +seize the fortress and save you from the gallows. But that has not +come to pass. Only one more indictment remains on your list—Treason. +I don't believe you will be able to talk yourself out of that! But we +will now hear you make the attempt."</p> + +<p>The prisoner bowed and summoned to his aid the muse, by whose help he +had wrested from death one<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_336" id="Page_336">[Pg 336]</a></span> day after another, to assist him win yet +another twenty-four hours in God's beautiful world.</p> + +<p>As the honorable gentlemen of the court are aware, I entered into +service here, after I deserted from the French camp at Lille—and I +have tried to do my duty faithfully, as becomes a good soldier—</p> + +<p>"I must say"—interrupted the prince with considerable stress—"you +were the best gunner in my artillery."</p> + +<p>After he had thanked his highness for the compliment, the prisoner +resumed:</p> + +<p>One day, while I was deeply absorbed in my technical studies, a quack +doctor was brought to my quarters. He had announced that he was my +messenger to the camp of the enemy, and that he had returned with some +important information for me.</p> + +<p>He was an imposter; I had not employed any one to perform such errands +for me. I ordered the fellow to be brought before me. He was of low, +but vigorous stature, with a crafty countenance, and cunning leer. He +had with him an entire apothecary's outfit: a chest filled with all +sorts of oils, extracts, unguents, and pills.</p> + +<p>The fellow laughed in my face and said in an impudent tone:</p> + +<p>"Well, comrade, don't you know me?".</p> + +<p>"No; I have never before seen your ugly phiz," I replied, a trifle +angrily.</p> + +<p>"Nor have I <i>seen</i> yours; but I know you for all that—Belphegor."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_337" id="Page_337">[Pg 337]</a></span>I was startled. "You are Behoric?" I exclaimed. I sent the orderly +from the room, then asked:</p> + +<p>"How did you manage to find me? You never saw me without a mask."</p> + +<p>"I will tell you: I have two magic rings; one I wear on the little +finger of my right hand; the other on the little finger of my left +hand, both with the setting turned inward. If I say to the rings: 'I +want to find my blood-comrade, Belphegor,' one of them turns around on +my finger and the setting shows me the way I must go. If I arrive at a +point where two roads meet, the other ring shows me which to take. +That is how I came here."</p> + +<p>The explanation did not altogether satisfy me—the fellow's face made +me doubt the truth of it; but I could not deny that I was his +blood-comrade. Besides, I entertained a sort of affection for him; we +had been good comrades, and had not drank each other's blood for +nothing.</p> + +<p>"Well," said I, after deliberating a moment, "what brings you +here?—here, where nothing is to be got but fiery bullets."</p> + +<p>"I came to ask you to exchange bodies."</p> + +<p>"Why do you wish to exchange?"</p> + +<p>"The leader has ordered it."</p> + +<p>"Do you still belong to the satyrs?"</p> + +<p>"Yes—and so do you. It is not a disease from which one can recover; +nor an office one may resign. It is not a garment one may cast aside; +nor a wife one may divorce. In a word, once a satyr, always a satyr."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_338" id="Page_338">[Pg 338]</a></span>"I pledged only my body, not my soul," I interrupted.</p> + +<p>"And it isn't your soul I want, comrade; only your body. You may carry +your soul in my body, and go whithersoever it may please you to +wander."</p> + +<p>"But, what shall I do while in your body?"</p> + +<p>"You will do what I should do: sell theriac and arsenic; <i>lapis +nephriticus</i>, <i>nostra paracelsi</i>, apoponax, and salamander +ointment—for all of which you will receive good, hard coin from the +credulous fools who will be your customers. It is the easiest life in +the world!"</p> + +<p>"But I don't know the least thing about your medicaments, and couldn't +tell what any of them would heal or cure."</p> + +<p>"Oh, you need not trouble your head about that! Just take a look into +this chest. See—here in the different compartments are arranged +various bottles, vials and boxes, with the names of their contents +above them. These tiny letters under each one, which cannot be read +without the aid of a magnifying glass, are the names of the diseases +for which the contents of the bottles, vials, and boxes are infallible +remedies. When a patient applies to you, listen what he has to say; +then, diagnose the disease, consult your microscopic directions, and +dose him according to his ability to pay."</p> + +<p>"And how long will I have to wear your hideous form and let you occupy +my stately proportions?" I asked.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_339" id="Page_339">[Pg 339]</a></span>"Until we both desire to exchange again. I will give you one of my +magic rings and I'll keep the other. If you turn the ring on your +finger at the same moment I turn mine, then the exchange will be +effected, no matter how far apart our bodies may be. Now, take this +ring, and summon your orderly. Bid him escort me to the gate, and give +me a glass of brandy before he lets me depart."</p> + +<p>I obeyed these directions and, after a few minutes, the burning in my +throat convinced me that I was in Behoric's squat body; that he +occupied my taller shell I found very shortly.</p> + +<p>Hardly had the exchange taken place, when a bombardier came to +announce that the second cannon in the third battery had burst, +whereupon Behoric in my body answered:</p> + +<p>"Boil some glue, and stick the pieces together; then wind some stout +twine around the cannon to prevent it from bursting again."</p> + +<p>At these directions the bombardier and the orderly exchanged glances +and snickered.</p> + +<p>"This won't do at all," I said to myself, so I whispered to my figure: +"Behoric, just change back again for a second, will you?"</p> + +<p>Each turned the ring on his finger, and I was again I.</p> + +<p>"Take the broken cannon to the arsenal," I said to the grinning +bombardier, "and put in its place one of the bronze pieces from +chamber number IV. Why do you laugh, idiot?"</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_340" id="Page_340">[Pg 340]</a></span>Then Behoric and I exchanged again, and I found myself trudging in his +body down the hill from the fortress, with the medicine chest on my +back. I was obliged to pass through the beleaguerer's camp, and, +naturally, was commanded to halt. When they spoke to me I could not +understand them—I, who am perfectly familiar with French, Latin, +English, Polish, Russian, Turkish, Indian, Dutch—I, with Behoric's +untutored ears, and with his inability to converse in any language but +the German, could not understand a word the Frenchmen said to me. The +colonel was obliged to send for an interpreter.</p> + +<p>"Have you been inside the fortress?" I was asked.</p> + +<p>"I have."</p> + +<p>"Did you deliver to the chief gunner what I sent with you?"</p> + +<p>"I did."</p> + +<p>"Will he do what I ask?"</p> + +<p>"He will."</p> + +<p>Here, to my great surprise—for I had done nothing to earn it—the +colonel pressed fifty thalers into my palm, and motioned me to pass on +my way.</p> + +<p>I wandered out into the world, trudged from city to city, selling the +contents of my chest, until I came to Madgeburg, where, having +accumulated a considerable sum of money, I bought a horse and wagon. I +could now travel about with greater convenience and speed than when +forced to carry the heavy medicine-chest on my back. I also hired an +assistant to blow a trumpet when I wanted to collect a crowd around my +wagon.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_341" id="Page_341">[Pg 341]</a></span>I became so well satisfied with the pleasant life I now led, no +thought of changing back to my own body ever occurred to me. My +blood-comrade might keep it, and continue to fire cannon from +Ehrenbreitstein—I was quite content with my quack-doctoring, and with +his anatomy.</p> + +<p>And a wonderfully shrewd and sensible little anatomy it was! My own +did not contain a tenth part the sense that was in his. Therefore, I +considered it my duty to bestow the best of care on it. I fattened it +with the same attention to details I would have observed had it been +my own and I was amply able to supply it with everything that was +necessary to increase its bulk.</p> + +<p>I had all the money I wanted. The regular doctors became impoverished; +for, to me alone would the people apply for help—and I must say the +remedies I sold accomplished wonders.</p> + +<p>One day, however, a misfortune occurred to me. I was selling my +miracle-cures in the market place in Madgeburg as fast as I and my +assistant could hand them out, when some one—a wretch hired by the +envious doctors, no doubt—thrust a piece of burning sponge into the +ear of my horse. You may guess the result.</p> + +<p>The horse ran away, the wagon was upset, and my medicaments scattered +in all directions.</p> + +<p>My neck was not broken, but what happened was almost as bad. When I +came to replace the medicaments in the chest, I found that I could not +remember<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_342" id="Page_342">[Pg 342]</a></span> just where each bottle, vial, and box properly belonged. +However, I made a guess of it, and put them back where I thought they +ought to be. I made a good many mistakes, though, judging by some of +the very peculiar effects the remedies produced after the accident.</p> + +<p>The syndic, whose right leg was shorter than the left, sent for me to +remedy the defect. I was a little fuddled from having emptied a bottle +of good French wine just before I quitted my lodgings; and, instead of +rubbing the elongating ointment on the shorter limb, I applied it to +the longer one; the consequence of which was: the longer leg increased +to such a length that the worthy syndic, when he wanted to sit down, +had to perch himself on the buffet, and would bump his head against +the ceiling every step he took. He threatened to shoot me.</p> + +<p>A second mischance occurred when I was called to attend the president +of the Board of Trade. He had the gout in both feet and could not move +without crutches. I had a certain remedy for that fell disease, a +remedy so powerful that only a very small portion, about the size of a +pea, was required to embrocate an afflicted member. Thinking to hasten +the cure, I applied half the contents of a box to each foot, which +made the old gentleman so active and nimble, he was forced, for a +time, to take the position of runner for the Elector of Brandenburg, +because he could not keep his feet still; nor could he sit anywhere +but at a loom, where he might stamp his feet continually; and at<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_343" id="Page_343">[Pg 343]</a></span> +night, when he wanted to go to sleep he had to be bound to a +tread-mill.</p> + +<p>Two other wonderfully efficacious remedies were: a wash to force a +luxuriant crop of curling hair to grow on a bald head; the other, if +applied to toothless jaws, would cause new teeth to appear.</p> + +<p>The result of getting these two remedies misplaced was: the tooth-wash +was used on the bald head of a man; and the hair-restorative on the +toothless jaws of a woman. Instead of hair, two beautiful horns +appeared on the man's head; while the woman grew a mustache that would +have roused the envy of a drum-major.</p> + +<p>But these cases were nothing compared to what happened to the wife of +the chief justice. She was afflicted with severe paroxysms of +hiccoughing, and I was summoned to relieve her. There was in my chest +a remedy for such an attack; but, having been misplaced, I got hold of +the wrong box, and administered to the sufferer a dose of pills +intended to force obstinate hens to produce eggs. In less than six +weeks that unfortunate lady gave birth to seven living children—</p> + +<p>"I don't believe it! I don't believe a single word of it!" interrupted +the prince, who had almost burst his belt with laughing. "You are +asking too much if you expect us to credit such outrageous fables."</p> + +<p>Here the chair remarked with great seriousness: "Beg pardon, your +highness: but there are authentic records of similar cases. In +Hungary, the wife of a<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_344" id="Page_344">[Pg 344]</a></span> Count Miczbanus gave birth at one time to +seven living sons, all of whom lived to grow up."</p> + +<p>"She certainly took some of the prisoner's hen pills," laughingly +responded his highness.</p> + +<p>The prisoner continued:</p> + +<p>Naturally mistakes of this sort roused the animosity of the patients; +but, none were so enraged as was the burgomaster. His case, indeed, +capped the climax! I had two miraculous cures: one would cause to +disappear from the human nose pimples, warts and all other disfiguring +excrescences; the other would transform silver into gold.</p> + +<p>The burgomaster possessed a large silver snuff-box and an exceedingly +prominent and highly-colored nose which was covered with unsightly +pimples. He sent for me in secret and bade me test the efficacy of the +two miracle-cures on his snuff-box and on his nose.</p> + +<p>Like some of the other remedies, these two had also changed places, in +consequence of which, the burgomaster's nose turned to gold, while the +snuff-box vanished as if from the face of the earth.</p> + +<p>This cure so amused the prince he could hardly gasp:</p> + +<p>"Enough—enough!—no more today! We will hear the rest tomorrow—I am +faint with laughing."</p> + +<p>The court adjourned until the following day, when the prisoner resumed +his confession:</p> + +<p>As might be expected, this last mistake of mine caused a dispute to +arise. The burgomaster, however, was not so angry because his nose had +changed to<span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_345" id="Page_345">[Pg 345]</a></span> gold; but nothing would console him for the loss of his +snuff-box. He actually accused me of stealing it!</p> + +<p>Had the worthy man been versed in the science of chemistry, he would +have known that there are substances which absorb, and consume, each +other. For instance: <i>argentum vivum</i> will dissipate <i>aurum</i>; and +<i>aqua fortis</i> will consume silver as will a starving cow barley. This +is called <i>occulta qualitas</i>.</p> + +<p>The citizens of Madgeburg, however, are not clever enough to +comprehend matters so transcendental in character. I was summoned to +appear before the mayor, who, being father-in-law to a doctor, +sentenced me, out of spite, to be flogged in public.</p> + +<p>This did not suit me at all, so I said to myself: "Now, friend +Behoric, I have been content to occupy your carcass without murmuring, +so long as nothing more was required of me than to stuff it with +liver-pasties and oysters; but, when it comes to having the hide +tickled with a cat-o'-nine tails, then you had better come back into +it!"</p> + +<p>I was already bound to the pillory and the executioner had bared my +back, revealing the marks of former scourging—of which I could +remember nothing as they were on Behoric's body.</p> + +<p>When the executioner saw that the whip would not be new to my +blood-comrade's hide, he sent for a heavier scourge, the ends of which +terminated with barbed nails.</p> + +<p>"Now, Behoric," I said, "you must take this flogging yourself."</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_346" id="Page_346">[Pg 346]</a></span>My hands being bound together, I had no difficulty turning the ring on +my little finger. I had given it but one turn, when, to my great joy, +I found myself in my own body, in my casemate in Ehrenbreitstein +fortress; and before me stood his honor, here, with an empty fire-ball +in one hand; in the other, what he called the "proofs of my treason."</p> + +<p>I guessed at once what my blood-comrade had been doing, what crime he +had committed while occupying my body.</p> + +<p>The Frenchmen, who are leagued with the Bocksritter, had sent Behoric +to the fortress, to take my place, and inform them what was going on +in here. When he found that his crime had been discovered by his +honor, the mayor, he said to himself: "It is time for Belphegor to +return to his body;" and, as it happened, he turned his ring at the +same moment I turned the one on my finger.</p> + +<p>I can imagine his consternation when he found himself in the pillory +in Madgeburg, with his back bared for the scourge; and I have to laugh +every time I think of the grimaces he must have made when the barbed +nails cut into his scarred hide!</p> + +<p>This, your highness, and honorable gentlemen of the court, is the +strictly veracious history of my last capital crime.</p> + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_347" id="Page_347">[Pg 347]</a></span></p> + +<h2><a name="PART_XIV" id="PART_XIV"></a>PART XIV.<br /> +<span class="smalltext">THE WHITE DOVE.</span></h2> + + +<p>The decision of the court at the conclusion of the long trial was as +follows:</p> + +<p>"Whereas: After hearing all the evidence, it has been found impossible +to establish fully the exact nature of twenty-one of the twenty-two +crimes, for which the prisoner has been indicted, the court has +decided to pronounce him guilty of only the twenty-second and last on +the register—'Treason.'</p> + +<p>"But, as the prisoner avers that this transgression was committed by +his blood-comrade, who occupied his, the prisoner's, body at the time +the crime was committed; and that his, the prisoner's, <i>mind</i> was not +cognizant of the blood-comrade's intentions when the exchange of +bodies was effected, the court has decided to acquit the prisoner's +mind and commend it to the mercy of God; and, that it may serve as a +lesson to all miscreants who contemplate a similar crime, to sentence +the body to death by a merciful shot in the back of the head."</p> + +<p>The prisoner thanked the court for its clemency and assured the +honorable gentlemen that he had no desire to postpone the execution of +the just sentence.</p> + +<p><span class='pagenum'><a name="Page_348" id="Page_348">[Pg 348]</a></span>When he was brought to the place of execution he removed his coat and +hat, then requested, as a last favor, that his hands might be left +free, and not bound behind his back, as he wished to clasp them on his +breast in prayer.</p> + +<p>The request was granted. He knelt, and in an audible tone repeated the +Lord's Prayer. Then he turned toward the musketeers, who were waiting +matches in readiness above the priming-pans, and said earnestly:</p> + +<p>"Comrades, I beg you, when you shoot me, try also to kill the raven +which is fluttering on my shoulder"—he glanced furtively toward his +shoulder and added joyfully: "No! No! it is not the raven—it is my +white dove—my precious white dove! She has come to bear my soul to +the land wherein she now dwells! My good angel!—My Madus—my only +love!"</p> + +<p>Twelve musket shots rang out on the silent air, and the white dove +soared away with the released soul.</p> + + +<p class="center newchapter">FINIS.)</p> + + +<hr class="wide" /> + +<div class="blockquot"><p>Transcriber's Note: The original edition did not contain a table of +contents. A table of contents has been created for this electronic +edition.</p> + +<p>The use of quotation marks in the original text was irregular and not +always consistent. Some words, especially proper names, were also +spelled inconsistently. Except as noted below, spelling and +punctuation have been left as they originally appeared.</p> + +<p>On the title page, "MAURUS JOKÁI" was changed to "MAURUS JÓKAI".</p> + +<p>In Part I, Chapter I, a single-quote (') was changed to a double-quote +(") after "It would make the carrying on a war an easy matter."</p> + +<p>In Part I, Chapter II, "Prisoners: I was a member of a band of +robbers" was changed to "Prisoner: I was a member of a band of +robbers", and a missing quotation mark was added after "diabolicum +implicitum".</p> + +<p>In Part II, Chapter I, quotation marks were added after "Kto tam? +Stoj!" and "not a man of your word", "you shall have this +koltuk-denigenegi" was changed to "you shall have this +koltuk-dengenegi", and "Incendarii ambitiosi comburantur" was changed +to "Incendiarii ambitiosi comburantur".</p> + +<p>In Part II, Chapter II, "cities, castles, and monastaries" was changed +to "cities, castles, and monasteries", and a quotation mark was added +after "not the other one!"</p> + +<p>In Part III, Chapter I, a quotation mark was added after "what your +crutch contains!", "I don't wan't brandy" was changed to "I don't want +brandy", and a quotation mark after "the tongue in which demons +spake—" was removed.</p> + +<p>In Part IV, Chapter I, a quotation mark was added before "This wine, +Malchus", a quotation mark was added after "homicidium", "Qui bene +distinquet" was changed to "Qui bene distinguit", and "deeply incensed +by the impiety of the donnenritter" was changed to "deeply incensed by +the impiety of the dornenritter".</p> + +<p>In Part V, Chapter II, "Que bene distinguit" was changed to "Qui bene +distinguit", a period and quotation mark were added after "the +two-thousand you owe me", quotation marks were removed after "seal the +bargain with a kiss" and "bought with the money her son had given +her", and "the same geneological tree" was changed to "the same +genealogical tree".</p> + +<p>In Part VI, Chapter I, "worth-nothing, insignificent cipher" was +changed to "worth-nothing, insignificant cipher", and a missing period +was added after "in every city in the land".</p> + +<p>In Part VII, Chapter I, a quotation mark was removed after +"respectable God-fearing man".</p> + +<p>In Part VIII, Chapter III, "mantained direct communication" was +changed to "maintained direct communication".</p> + +<p>In Part IX, Chapter I, a quotation mark before "During a calm" was +removed, and "how is it posible that such a storm" was changed to "how +is it possible that such a storm".</p> + +<p>In Part X, Chapter II, "all were against, me" was changed to "all were +against me".</p> + +<p>In Part XI, Chapter I, "cast from me every fear" was changed to "I +cast from me every fear", and "David's battle with Goliah" was changed +to "David's battle with Goliath".</p> + +<p>In Part XI, Chapter II, "Sint ut sunt aut nou sint" was changed to +"Sint ut sunt aut non sint".</p> + +<p>In Part XIII, Chapter I, a single quote (') was changed to a double +quote (") before "Why do you wish to exchange?" and "Do you still +belong to the satyrs?", and a quotation mark was added before "The +leader has ordered it" and after "such outrageous fables".</p></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Told by the Death's Head, by Mór Jókai + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TOLD BY THE DEATH'S HEAD *** + +***** This file should be named 34770-h.htm or 34770-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/4/7/7/34770/ + +Produced by Steven desJardins and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Told by the Death's Head + A Romantic Tale + +Author: Mor Jokai + +Illustrator: Charles Hope Provost + +Translator: S. E. Boggs + +Release Date: December 28, 2010 [EBook #34770] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TOLD BY THE DEATH'S HEAD *** + + + + +Produced by Steven desJardins and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + +[Illustration: "Stay, Constable, I want to see what you put into that +fire pot--open it"] + + + + +TOLD BY THE +DEATH'S HEAD + +A ROMANTIC TALE +BY +MAURUS JOKAI + +TRANSLATED BY +S. E. BOGGS + +_Translator of Prof. Haeckel's "India and Ceylon," Maurus Jokai's +"The Nameless Castle," etc._ + +ILLUSTRATED + + +THE SAALFIELD PUBLISHING COMPANY +CHICAGO AKRON, OHIO NEW YORK +1908 + +COPYRIGHT, 1902, +BY +THE SAALFIELD PUBLISHING COMPANY + +MADE BY +THE WERNER COMPANY +AKRON, OHIO + + + + +PREFACE. + + +In Part II, Vol. 2, of the Rhenish _Antiquarius_, I once came across a +skull that is said--see page 612--to swing, enclosed in a metal +casket, from an iron bar in the foundry of Ehrenbreitstein fortress. +Distinction of this order does not fall to an ordinary mortal. Yon +empty shell of human wisdom once bore the burden of no less than +twenty-one mortal sins--the seven _originalia_ trebled. Each crime is +noted. The criminal confessed to the entire three-times-seven, and yet +the death sentence was not passed upon him because of the twenty-one +crimes. His fate was decided by the transgression of a military +regulation. + +What if this skull could speak? What if it could defend +itself?--relate, with all the grim humor of one on the rack, the many +pranks played--the mad follies committed, from the banks of the +Weichsel to the delta of the Ganges! + +If my highly esteemed readers will promise to give me their credulous +attention, I will relate what was told to me by the death's head. + +THE AUTHOR. + + + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + + +PREFACE 1 + + +PART I + +I THE "FIRE-POT." 5 +II THE TRIAL. 17 + + +PART II + +I WITH THE ROBBERS--THE PRSJAKA CAVES. 25 +II THE BERDICZOV MONASTERY. 85 + + +PART III +IN THE SERVICE OF THE DUKE. + +I MALACHI. 101 +II PERSIDA. 114 + + +PART IV +WITH THE TEMPLARS. + +I IN THE HOLLOW TREE. 138 + + +PART V +THE HOMICIDE. + +I ON BOARD MYNHEER'S SHIP. 173 +II THE MOO-CALF. 179 + + +PART VI + +I THE FORGERY.--ONE CIPHER. 204 +II THE LEGACY. 207 + + +PART VII + +I PEACEFUL REPOSE. 215 + + +PART VIII +IN BENGAL. + +I BEGUM SUMRO. 232 +II IDOL WORSHIP. 242 +III MAIMUNA, AND DANESH. 249 + + +PART IX +ON THE HIGH SEAS. + +I THE PIRATES. 267 + + +PART X +UXORICIDE. + +I THE SECUNDOGENITUR. 279 +II THE QUICKSANDS. 289 + + +PART XI +IN SATAN'S REALM. + +I THE SATYRS. 300 +II WITCH-SABBATH. 311 + + +PART XII +THE BREAD OF SHAME. + +I THE MAGIC THALER. 323 +II THE HUSBAND OF THE WIFE OF ANOTHER MAN. 329 + + +PART XIII +THE EXCHANGE OF BODIES. + +I THE QUACK DOCTOR. 335 + + +PART XIV + +I THE WHITE DOVE 347 + + + + +LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS + +_By Charles Hope Provost_ + + +"Stay, Constable, I want to see what you put into +that fire pot--open it" _Frontispiece_ + +"I took my lamp, descended to the crypt" 167 + +"I could read in her radiant countenance how overjoyed +she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured +to clasp her once more in my arms" 252 + +"Thus I managed to propel my body slowly, painfully +toward the stable earth" 296 + + + + +PART I. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE "FIRE-POT." + + +The hero of our romantic narrative, or better, narratives, was a +constable. Not one of that useful class appointed, in our day, to +direct the vehicles which pass over the two approaches to the +suspension-bridge in Budapest; rather, he was the chief of a body +whose task it is to provoke disturbance, who win all the more praise +and glory the greater the havoc and destruction they create. In a +word: he was a gunner. + +The chronicle of his exploits gives only his Christian name, which was +"Hugo." + +In the year 1688, when the French beleaguered Coblentz, Hugo had +charge of the battery in the outermost tower of Ehrenbreitstein +fortress--the "Montalembert Tower." + +Coblentz and Ehrenbreitstein are opposite one another on the banks of +the Rhine, as are Pesth and Ofen; and the Blocksberg looks down on us, +as does the citadel of Ehrenbreitstein on Coblentz. + +The city, which is strongly fortified on all sides, had become +accustomed to being beleaguered--now by the French, now by the +Prussians; today by the Austrians, tomorrow by the Swedes. + +On the occasion of which I write, Coblentz was under a terrible fire +from the French guns, which created great havoc in that portion of the +city known as the "Old Town." + +Specially memorable and remarkable was the manner in which the +"fire-balls" seemed to know just where to find the abodes of the duke, +and the commandant of the fortress. It mattered not how often they +changed their quarters, the Frenchmen would always discover them, and +aim accordingly--though it was impossible to see into the city from +outside the walls. There certainly must have been some witch-craft at +work. Hugo's Montalembert tower was on the side of the fortress most +exposed to the assaults of the enemy; its successful defense, +therefore, was all the more worthy of praise. + +The management of ordnance in those days was not the comparatively +simple matter it is today, with the Krupp and the Uchatius guns. It +was a real science to fetch from the furnace a white-hot cannon-ball, +ram it into the long, slender culverin, and if, after the discharge, +the ball remained sticking in the throat of the gun, to remove it with +the various forceps, nippers, and tongs; and, after every shot, to +examine with a curious implement resembling Mercury's caducens, the +interior of the culverin to learn whether the discharge had caused a +rupture anywhere. + +However, it is not necessary to be a great genius in order to master +all the intricacies and technicalities of a gunner's trade. An +ordinary man might even learn, after some practice, how to handle an +"elephant;" and, if he were intrusted with the quadrant, he might also +manage to discharge the heavier bombs with satisfactory result. It +must be remembered, though, that a gunner needs to possess +considerable skill as well as experience in order to hurl successfully +against the approaching foe a "fire-shield," which discharges +simultaneously from every one of its thirty-five holes as many +bullets; and the "storm-tub" requires even more dexterity. This +implement of warfare runs on two wheels. The axles are spiked with +keen-edged knives, and the wheels are filled with gunpowder, which +ignites and explodes when the machine is set in motion. If the powder +ignites promptly in both wheels at the same instant, the infernal +thing dashes like an infuriated bull into the ranks of the enemy, +burning the eyes of some, scorching the beards of others, and hacking +and slashing everything with which its revolving knives come in +contact. If the powder in only one of the wheels explodes, the machine +spins around on the motionless wheel like a top, and scatters an +entire company; if the second wheel explodes only half a second after +the first, then those who have the management of the demon will do +well to take to their heels with all speed possible. + +It is not necessary to explain at length the advantages of the +chain-shot. Anyone will be able to understand its operation if he will +but remember that, when two balls connected by a chain are discharged +toward the enemy, and one of the balls strikes a man, the other ball +will, naturally, circle around the unfortunate until the entire length +of chain is wound tightly about him; the circling ball, meanwhile, +will strike with various results: the head, the nose, the ear, or some +other portion of the bodies of the soldiers within its radius. It is +greatly to be regretted that the use of the "handle-ball" has been +discontinued. This weapon was shaped very much like two pot-ladles, +bound together at the handles by an iron ring. The man who chanced to +be caught between the two ladles might congratulate himself that he +escaped with nothing worse than a choking; while the two soldiers on +his right and left, whose heads had been caught in the bowls of the +ladles, would remember, to the end of their days, the peculiar and +disagreeable sensation experienced. There were two more wonderful +implements of warfare: one a German, the other a French invention. The +former, which was an emanation from Hugo's brain, was called a +"_Bombenjungen-werfer_."[1] It was a huge mortar, the central cavity +capable of holding a bomb of fifty pounds weight; surrounding this +cavity were eight smaller bores, each holding a five-pound bomb. The +same charge hurled every one of the nine bombs in rapid succession +from the mortar; and one can imagine the astonishment of the Frenchman +when, after hearing but one report, the eight "babies" followed, one +after the other, the mother bomb. + +[Footnote 1: Anglice: "Hurler of baby-bombs."] + +This was a diversion Hugo prepared for the beleaguerers, who in return +invented an amusement for him. It was a "fire-pot," was shaped +exactly like the earthen water-jug the Hungarian reaper carries with +him to the harvest field to preserve his drinking-water fresh and +cool. The machine was made of iron, and filled with a diabolical +mixture. It had four spouts--precisely like our water-jug--from which +the fire would hiss and sputter; it was intended to set fire to +everything combustible where it fell. + +The Germans also had what are called "fire-balls," which hiss and +spit, and set fire to everything about them; and other bombs which +explode the moment they touch the earth. The French fire-pot, however, +combined these two properties: it set fire first, and exploded +afterward. + +The beleaguered understood very well how to manage a fire-ball. Like +Helene Zrinyi, the heroine who defended the fortress of Munkacs, the +Germans had learned, so soon as a fire-ball fell inside the walls, to +cover it with a wet bullock's-hide, which would at once smother the +fire-spitting monster, and render it harmless. + +But the fire-pot was not to be treated so summarily. If the Germans +attempted to smother the fire-demon, to prevent the air from reaching +his four noses, he would burst, and woe to him who chanced to be in +the way of the flying splinters! He, at least, would have no further +desire to sport with a fire-pot. + +It happened one day that a fire-pot, which had fallen inside the +fortress, did not explode after it had hissed and spit out its fury. +When it became cool enough it was taken to Hugo. + +"Now I shall find out what is inside this dangerous missile," remarked +the constable; "then I'll make some like it and send them to our +friends over yonder." + +Over the neck of the fire-pot was a sort of hat, shaped like those +covering the necks of the Hungarian wooden bottles (_esutora_). This +hat, of course, could be removed. After this discovery Hugo invited +the commandant, the grand-duke, the governor and mayor of the city, +the syndic, and the duke's alchemist to be present at the opening of +the fire-pot. + +Now each one of the invited said to himself: "It will be enough if the +others are there--why should I go? The infernal machine may explode +when they are opening it." + +And so they all stopped bravely at home and Hugo alone found out what +was in the fire-pot. + +After it was opened, and Hugo had convinced himself of the nature of +the diabolical compound it contained, he proceeded to cast several +fire-pots like the French one; and, in the presence of the commandant +and the grand-duke, shot them into the enemy's camp. The two +distinguished gentlemen, who were peering through their telescopes, +were highly delighted when they saw the bombs, which flew through the +air like dragons with tails of fire, reach the points at which they +had been aimed, ignite everything inflammable, and afterward explode. +Now and again it would happen that one of Hugo's fire-pots would fail +to explode in the Frenchmen's camp, just as theirs would sometimes +fail to do what was expected of them. But Hugo always collected the +enemy's unexploded bombs, and, after opening and refilling them with +fresh explosives, would hurl them back whence they came. + +Oh, I tell you war was conducted in those good old days on economical +lines! + +As late even as the year 1809 Napoleon had his men collect 28,000 of +the enemy's cannon-balls on the battle-field of Wagram, and shot them +back at the Austrians; and had the fight continued two days longer, +the opposing armies would have ricocheted the same balls back and +forth so long as the cannonading made it necessary. + +The grand-duke, as was proper, rewarded the constable for his +discovery by an increase of pay--from sixteen to twenty thalers a +month; and in addition made him a present of a barrel of strong beer, +which gave offence to the commandant, who was obliged to quench his +thirst with a weaker brew. + +Hugo had many enviers, but none of them ventured to pick a quarrel +with him. He had the frame of an athlete; his face, with its luxuriant +red-beard, resembled that of a lion. He was always in a good humor; no +one had ever seen Hugo angry, embarrassed, or frightened. There were +no traces of trouble and grief on his countenance. He was perhaps +forty years of age, was somewhat disfigured by small-pox pits, but +wherever there was a pretty girl or woman to be won, Hugo was sure to +attract her. He was fond of good living--liked everything to be of the +best, consequently his money never remained long in his pockets. + +The constable's epicurean tastes irritated the mayor, who, as chief of +the city militia, outranked the artillerist. But Hugo managed on all +occasions to out-do his superior officer. Rieke, the trim little +suttler-wife, would slap the militia captain's fingers if he ventured +to give her a chin-chuck, but a hearty hug from the smiling constable +never met with a repulse. In consequence of the siege prices for the +necessaries, as well as for the luxuries of life, had become +exorbitant in both cities. Three thalers was the unheard-of price +asked at market for a fat goose. The mayor's wife haggled for a long +time about the price without success, when along came pretty Rieke. + +"How much for your goose?" she asked. + +"Three thalers." + +"I'll take it." + +She paid the money and marched away with the goose. + +By some means the mayor learned that Hugo had a baked fat goose for +his dinner. + +"Look here, constable," he said next day to the artillerist, "how +comes it that you can afford to feast on fat goose while I, the mayor, +and your superior officer, must content myself with lean herring, +cheese and bread? Your pay is only twenty thalers a month; mine is +three florins a day. Pray tell me how you manage it?" + +To which Hugo made answer: + +"Well, mayor, if I wanted to deceive you, I should say that the money +for all the good things I enjoy does not come from my pocket; that +Rieke, who is infatuated with me (how I managed _that_ part of the +business I shouldn't tell you), supplies me with whatever I want. But +I'll be honest with you and tell you the truth--but pray don't betray +my secret, for I don't want to have anything to do with the priests. +What I tell you is in strictest confidence and must not go any +farther: I have a magic thaler, one of those coins, vulgarly called a +'breeding-penny,' that always returns to my pocket no matter how often +I may spend it--" + +"You don't say so! And how came you by such a coin, constable?" + +"I'll tell you that, too, mayor, only be careful not to let the +Capuchins hear of it. I got the thaler in the Hochstatt marshes, from +a _bocksritter_--"[2] + +[Footnote 2: Satyr.] + +"I hope you didn't bond your soul to him for it?" interrupted the +mayor. + +"Not I. I outwitted the devil by giving the ritter an ignorant Jew lad +in my stead." + +"You must keep that transaction a secret," cautioned the mayor; then +he hastened to repeat what he had heard to the grand-duke. + +"Would to heaven every thaler I possess were a breeding-penny!" +exclaimed the high-born gentleman. "It would make the carrying on a +war an easy matter." + +From the day it became known that Constable Hugo possessed that +never-failing treasure, a magic coin, and was in league with the +all-powerful bocksritter, he rose in the esteem of his fellows. + +Meanwhile Ehrenbreitstein and Coblentz continued under bombardment +from the Frenchmen. The enemy's fire-pots never failed to find the +grand-duke's quarters, notwithstanding the fact that he changed them +every day. This at last became so annoying that treason began to be +suspected, and the duke offered a reward for the detection of the spy +who gave the information to the enemy. That a spy was at work in the +German camp was beyond question, though the outlets of both cities +were so closely guarded that it would have been impossible for a +living mortal to pass through them. Nor could the treason have been +committed by means of carrier-pigeons, for, whatever of domestic +fowl-kind had been in the cities had long since been devoured by the +hungry citizens. The mayor, ever on the alert for transgressors, had +his suspicions as to who might be the spy. Every man but one in the +beleaguered cities fasted, lamented, prayed, cursed, wept, as the case +might be, save this one man, who remained constantly cheerful, +smiling, well-fed. + +When one of the Frenchmen's fiery monsters came hissing and spitting +into the fortress this one man, instead of taking to his heels and +seeking the shelter of a cellar, as did the rest of his comrades, +would coolly wait until the fire-pot fell to the ground, and, if it +failed to burst he would dig it out of the earth into which it had +bored itself and carry it to the foundry. + +Surely this was more than foolhardiness! + +The constable always opened the enemy's unexploded fire-pots in his +subterranean work-room; refilled them there, then hurled them back +without delay. There was something more than amusement behind this. + +One day, when Hugo came up from his subterranean workroom, he +encountered the mayor, who said to him: + +"Stay, constable, I want to see what you put into that fire-pot--open +it." + +Without a moment's hesitation Hugo unscrewed the lid and revealed the +explosives wrapped in coarse linen; at the same time he explained how +much gunpowder, hazel-wood charcoal, sulphur, resin, pitch, +sal-ammoniac, borax and acetate of lead were necessary to make up the +amount of unquenchable fire required for the bomb. + +"Very good," quoth the city functionary, "but what beside these is +there in the bottom of the pot?" + +"Under this earthen plate, your honor, is more gunpowder. When the +explosives on top are burnt out this plate, which has become red-hot, +explodes the powder and bursts the bomb--that is the whole secret of +the infernal machine." + +"I should like to see what is under the earthen plate." + +As the mayor spoke these words the constable gave a sudden glance over +his shoulder. In the glance was expressed all the temerity of the +adventurer, mingled with rage, determination and alarm. But only for +an instant. The mayor's bailiffs surrounded him, closing every avenue +of escape. Then he burst into a loud laugh, shrugged his shoulders, +and said: + +"Very well, your honor, see for yourself what is under the earthen +plate." + +The mayor forced open with the blade of his pocket-knife the earthen +plate. There was no powder in the bottom of the bomb, only some +ordinary sand; but in it was concealed a folded paper that contained a +minute description of the situation in the German camp. + +"Bind him in chains!" exclaimed the mayor in a triumphant voice. "At +last we have the proofs of your treachery, knave! I'll give you a +pretty Rieke! I'll serve up a fat goose for you!" + +Hugo continued to laugh while the bailiffs were placing the fetters on +his hands and feet. + +As if to complete the evidence against him, there came hissing at that +moment a fire-pot from the French camp. When it was opened and the +earthen plate removed it was found to contain two hundred Albert +thalers! + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE TRIAL. + + +[Illustration: Pointing Finger] + +The hand with the two lines under it signifies, in the court records +(for the sake of brevity), that at this point in the trial, the chief +of the tribunal gave the signal to the executioner for another turn of +the wheel. When this had been done, the notary would take down the +confession until the prisoner on the rack would cry out: + +"Have mercy!--compassion!" + +The prince was seated at a separate table, on a black-draped +throne-like arm-chair with a canopy. + +The mayor occupied the inquisitor's chair. + +First question addressed to the accused: + +"What is your name?" + +"My name, in Podolia, is 'Jaroslav Tergusko;' in Zbarasz it is 'Zdenko +Kohaninsky;' in Odessa it is 'Frater Hilarius;' in Hamburg, 'Elias +Junker;' in Muenster it is 'William Stramm;' in Amsterdam, 'Mynheer +Tobias van der Bullen;' in Singapore, 'Maharajah Kong;' on the high +seas, 'Captain Rouge;' in The Hague, it is 'Ritter Malchus;' in Lille, +'Chevalier de Mont Olympe;' in Pfalz, 'Doctor Sarepta;' here, I am +called 'Hugo von Habernik.' + +"Have you any more names?" inquired the chair. + +At this question everybody began to laugh--the prince, the judges, the +prisoner, even the skull on the table. The chair alone remained grim +and dignified. + +"I can't remember any more of my names," was the prisoner's reply. + + +[Illustration: Pointing Finger] + +SECOND QUESTION: + +"What is your religion?" + +"I was born an Augsburg Confession heretic. When I went to Cracow I +became a Socinian; in the Ukraine I joined the Greek church; afterward +I became an orthodox Catholic; later, a Rosicrucian; then a Quaker. I +have also professed the faith of Brahma; and once I was a member of +the community of Atheists and devil-worshipping Manichees, called also +Cainists." + +"A fine array, truly!" commented the chair, as the notary entered the +list in the register. + + +[Illustration: Pointing Finger] + +THIRD QUESTION: + +"What is your occupation, prisoner?" + +"I have been ensign; prisoner; slave; robber-chief; parasite; ducal +grand-steward; mendicant friar; recruiting sergeant; sacristan; +knight; shell-fish dealer; stock-jobber; ship-captain; viceroy; +pirate; teacher; knacker's assistant; conjuror; bocksritter; hangman; +pikeman; quack-doctor; prophet; constable--" + +"Stop! Stop!" interrupted the chair. "The notary cannot keep up with +you." + +Again the court-room resounded with laughter; the prisoner on the +rack, as well as the skull on the table, again joined in the +merriment. Everybody seemed in a good humor--that is, everybody but +the mayor. He alone was grave. + +After the signal to the executioner the fourth question followed: + +"Of what crimes are you guilty?" + +(For the purpose of greater perspicuity the chair dictated to the +recording secretary the Latin nomenclature of the crimes confessed.) + +Prisoners: "I was a member of a band of robbers and incendiaries." + +"_Primo, latrocinium_," dictated the chair. + +Prisoner: "I won the affections of my benefactor's wife." + +Chair: "_Secundo, adulterium._" + +Prisoner: "I robbed a church." + +Chair: "_Tertio, sacrilegium._" + +Prisoner: "I masqueraded as a nobleman under a false name." + +Chair: "_Quarto, larvatus._" + +Prisoner: "I committed a forgery." + +Chair: "_Quinto, falsorium._" + +Prisoner: "I killed my friend in a duel." + +Chair: "_Sexto, homicidium ex duello._" + +Prisoner: "I cheated my partners in business." + +Chair: "_Septimo, stellionatus._" + +Prisoner: "I betrayed state secrets confided to me." + +Chair: "_Octavo, felonia._" + +Prisoner: "I used for my own purpose money belonging to others." + +Chair: "_Nono, barattaria._" + +Prisoner: "I worshipped idols." + +Chair: "_Decimo, idololatria._" + +Prisoner: "I married a second wife while the first was still living." + +Chair: "_Undecimo, bigamia._" + +Prisoner: "I also took a third, fourth, fifth and sixth wife." + +Chair: "_Eodem numero trigamia, polygamia._" + +Prisoner: "I murdered a king." + +Chair: "_Decimo secundo, regicidium._" + +Prisoner: "I have been a pirate." + +Chair: "_Decimo tertia, pirateria._" + +Prisoner: "I killed my first wife." + +Chair: "_Decimo quarto, uxoricidium._" + +Prisoner: "I practiced conjuring." + +Chair: "_Decimo quinto, sorcellaria._" + +Prisoner: "I have been in league with Satan." + +Chair: "_Decimo sexto, pactum diabolicum implicitum._" + +Prisoner: "I have coined base money." + +Chair: "_Decimo septimo, adulterator monetarium._" + +Prisoner: "I preached a new faith." + +Chair: "_Decimo octavo, haeresis schisma._" + +Prisoner: "I have been a quack doctor." + +Chair: "_Decimo nono, veneficus._" + +Prisoner: "I betrayed a fortress intrusted to my guardianship." + +Chair: "_Vigesimo, crimen traditorum._" + +Prisoner: "I have eaten human flesh." + +Chair: "_Vigesimo primo, anthropophagia. Cannibalismus!_" cried the +mayor in a loud tone, bringing his fist with considerable force down +on the pandects lying before him on the table. The perspiration was +rolling in great beads over his forehead. + +The prisoner on the rack laughed heartily; but this time no one +laughed with him. The executioner had mistaken the chief's wink for a +signal to turn the wheel, which he did, and the sound which came from +the victim's throat was a strange mixture of merriment and agony--as +if he were being tickled and strangled at the same moment. + +What the chief's dictation was really intended to signify was that the +proceedings were concluded for the day; that the accused should be +released from the rack and taken back to his dungeon. + +It was a most unusual case--unique in the annals of the criminal +court. Never before had a prisoner acknowledged himself guilty of, or +accessory to, so many crimes. It was the first time such a combination +of misdemeanors had come before the tribunal. The accused would +certainly have to be tried without mercy; no extenuating circumstances +would be allowed to interfere with justice. + +The prince was extremely interested in the case. He was curious to +learn the coherence between the individual transgressions, in what +manner one led to the other, and gave orders that the trial should not +be resumed the next day until he should arrive in court. + +The prisoner had cause for laughter. Before his confession reached its +conclusion, before he could relate the history of his one-and-twenty +crimes, the Frenchmen would capture Coblentz and release him from +imprisonment and death. + +But one may laugh too soon! + +What was to be done with this fellow? + +That the death penalty was his just desert was unquestionable; but in +what manner should it be imposed? Had he confessed only the crime for +which he was now under arrest--treason--the matter might be settled +easily enough: he would be shot in the back. But with so many +transgressions to complicate the matter it was going to be difficult +exceedingly to pronounce judgment. + +For instance: the wheel is the punishment for robbery; the polygamist +must be divided into as many portions as he has wives; the regicide +must be torn asunder by four horses. But how are you going to carry +out the last penalty if the accused has already been carved into six +portions? Also, it is decreed that the right hand of a forger be cut +off; the servitor of Satan must suffer death by fire. But if the +accused has been consumed by flames, how will it be possible to bray +him to pulp in a mortar for having committed uxoricide? or, how carry +out the commands of the law which prescribes death by starvation for +the wretch who is guilty of cannibalism? + +After much deliberation the prince, with the wisdom of a Solomon, +decided as follows: + +"The prisoner, who is arraigned at the bar for treason, having +confessed to twenty-one other transgressions, shall relate to the +court a detailed account of each individual crime, after which he +shall be sentenced according to the crime or crimes found by the +judges to be the most heinous." + +This decision was perfectly satisfactory to the mayor; and the judges +gave it as their opinion that, as the accused would require all his +strength for so prolonged an examination, it would be advisable to +substitute the torture by water for that of the rack, as was first +decided. + +"No! no!" objected the prince. "The man who is forced to drink nothing +but water is not in the mood to relate adventures (I know that by +experience!) Let the prisoner be subjected to mental torture. Sentence +him at once to death, and when he is not before the tribunal let him +be shut up in the death-cell. The hours spent in that gloomy hole are +a torture sufficient to bring any criminal, however hardened he may +have become, to repentance. Besides, it will be a saving of expense to +the city. The curious citizens, who like to gape at a condemned +prisoner, will, out of compassion, supply this one also with food and +drink. When he has eaten and drunk his fill, we will have him brought +to the court-room. The man who has had all he wants to eat and drink +is talkative!" + +The judges concurred with his highness; but the mayor growled in a +dissatisfied tone: + +"This knave, who confesses to having committed twenty-one crimes in +addition to the treachery in which we detected him, will, by the +decision of his highness, fare better than his judges, who have +learned during the siege what it is to hunger and thirst." + +To which the syndic responded consolingly: + +"Never mind, god-father! Let the poor wretch gormandize between the +rack and the gallows. Remember the old saw: 'Today, I--tomorrow, +you.'" + + + + +PART II. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +WITH THE ROBBERS--THE PRSJAKA CAVES. + + +I was ensign in a regiment under command of General Melchior Hatzfeld +of the imperial forces. (Thus Hugo began his confession the next day +when he had been brought to the court-room from the death-cell.) My +conduct at that time was exemplary; I acquired so much skill in +handling fire-arms that, at the siege of Cracow, I was advanced to the +position of chief gunner of a battery. + +Cracow at that time was in the hands of George Rakoczy, prince of +Transylvania, who had leagued with Sweden to subdue Poland; and he +would most likely have succeeded had not the imperial army come to the +assistance of the Poles. + +I shall not dwell long on the siege of Cracow lest I awake in the +minds of the honorable gentlemen of the court a suspicion that, by +relating incidents not immediately connected with my transgressions, I +am purposely prolonging my recital. I shall therefore speak only of +those occurrences which it will be necessary to mention in order to +explain why I committed the crimes of which I am guilty. While with +the army before Cracow I made the acquaintance of the daughter of a +Polish noble. The young lady, who took a great fancy to me--I wasn't a +bad-looking youth in those days, your honors--was a charming creature +of sixteen years, with the most beautiful black eyes. If I remember +rightly her name was Marinka. She taught me how to speak her +language--and something else, too: how to love--the fatal passion +which has all my life been the cause of much of my trouble. + +During the siege my general frequently sent me to reconnoiter among +the Hungarian camps; and as I was a fearless youth, I would venture to +the very gates of the manor-houses in the neighborhood of Cracow. At +one of these houses I met my sweetheart; and after that, you may +guess, honored sirs, that it was not for the general's "yellow boys" +alone I risked my neck night after night. No, my little Marinka's +sparkling eyes were as alluring as the gold pieces; and I knew when I +set out on my nightly tour that my sweetheart would be waiting for me +at the gates of her father's place. But our secret meetings were at +last discovered. There was an old witch of a housekeeper who ferreted +out her young mistress' secret, and informed the old noble. One +moonlight night Marinka was teaching me in her own little cozy chamber +how to say: "_Kocham pana z calego zersa_"--which is "Mistress, I love +you with my whole heart,"--when we heard her father's heavy footsteps +ascending the staircase. I tell you I was frightened and said to +myself, "This is the end of you, my lad!" but Marinka whispered in my +ear: + +"_Nebojsa!_ (don't be afraid), go into the corridor, walk boldly +toward my father, and to whatever he may say to you, do you reply 'God +is One.'" + +Then she softly opened the door, pushed me into the corridor, closed +and locked the door behind me. The old gentleman was coming up the +stairs very slowly because of a lame leg which he had to drag after +him step by step. He had a square red face which I could see only +indistinctly above the burning lunt he carried in one hand, blowing it +continually to prevent it from going out. In the other hand he held a +musket. The blazing lunt must have blinded him, for he did not see me +until the muzzle of the musket came in contact with my breast. Then he +stopped and cried in a stern voice: + +"_Kto tam? Stoj!_" (Who are you? Stand!) + +"God is One," I made answer. What else could I have said? The old +gentleman's aggressive mien changed at once. He became quite friendly; +he extinguished the lunt by stamping on it with his foot, tapped my +shoulder in a confidential manner and called me little brother. Then +taking me by the arm he led me down the stairs to a room where a huge +fire was blazing on the hearth. Here he bade me seat myself on a +settee covered with a bear skin and placed before me an English flagon +of spirits. After he had arranged everything for my comfort he fetched +from a secret cupboard a small book--it was so small I could have +hidden it in the leg of my boot--and began to read to me all manner of +heretical phrases such as "There is no need for a Holy Trinity, +because the little which is done on earth in the name of God can +easily be done by One alone." + +My hair stood on end as I listened to the sinful words and I found +what a trap I had fallen into. My Marinka's father was a Socinian, a +leader of the heretical sect, and he was trying to make a proselyte of +me. + +The doctrines of Blandrata had spread extensively throughout Poland, +but, owing to the persecution of its adherents, they could meet and +work only in secret. The old noble's manor was one of their retreats, +where recent converts were received for instruction. When the old +gentleman believed he had enlightened me sufficiently he produced a +heavy volume, bade me lay my right hand on it and repeat after him the +vows of the society. + +You may believe I was in a dilemma! + +If I refused to repeat the vows I should have to confess that I had +come to the manor for Marinka's sake, then the old noble would fetch +his musket and send me straightway to paradise. If, on the other hand, +I repeated the vows, then I was sure to journey to hades. Which was I +to choose? + +Should I elect to travel by extra-post, direct, without stopping, into +the kingdom of heaven, or should I journey leisurely by a circuitous +route, with frequent halts, to hades? + +I was a mere lad; I was sorry for my pretty curly head--I chose the +latter alternative! + +From that time I became a daily visitor in the retreat of the +followers of Socinus. Being a neophyte I was permitted to take part in +their meetings only during the singing; when the sermon began I was +sent to the gates to guard against a surprise. This was a welcome +duty; for, once outside the house, all thought of taking up my station +at the gates would leave me and, instead, I would climb the tree which +grew close to my Marinka's window, swing myself by a branch into her +room, in which she was kept a prisoner by her father to prevent our +meeting; and there, while the sages below-stairs expounded the dogma +of the unity of God, we two ignorant young people demonstrated how two +human hearts can become as one. + +One day our little community received an unexpected addition to its +membership. There arrived from Cracow a troop of Hungarian soldiers +who announced themselves as followers of Socinus. They received a +hospitable welcome from the old noble, whom they overwhelmed with joy +by telling him the prince of Transylvania had become an adherent of +Socinus; that his highness had averred that, were he the King of +Poland, all persecution of the heretics should cease at once and that +some of the churches should be given over to them for their worship. + +When I repeated this piece of news to my general he became so excited +he sprang from his seat--his head almost struck the roof of the +tent--and shouted: "It is perfectly outrageous how those Hungarians +will stoop to base methods in order to win allies! If they succeed in +inveigling the Polish Socinians to their ranks then we may as well +stop trying to get them out of Poland!" + +Fortunately, however, there arose dissensions between the Hungarian +and the Polish adherents of Socinus. I must mention here, in order to +explain how I became cognizant of the facts I am about to relate, that +Marinka's father had begun to suspect me. Instead of sending me to +stand guard at the gates when the sermon began, I was permitted to +hear it and take part in the disputations. + +The Hungarian troopers maintained that it was the duty of all pious +Socinians to commemorate, at every one of their meetings, the death of +the Savior by drinking wine; and they were so extremely devout that an +entire quarter-cask of their host's best Tokay was emptied at every +celebration. After the meetings, when the old noble would lift and +shake the empty wine-cask, I could read in his countenance signs that +heterodoxy was gradually taking root in him. At first he contented +himself with remonstrating against the frequency of the celebration; +surely it ought to satisfy the most devout member of the sect to +observe the ceremony on Sundays, and holy days. But the troopers met +his arguments with scriptural authority for their practices. + +Then the old gentleman, finding his remonstrances of no avail, made an +assault upon the dogma itself. He delivered an impassioned address in +which he sought to disprove the divinity of Jesus. To this blasphemous +assertion the Magyars made reply: + +"If what you say be true, then He was the son of an honest man, and a +good man Himself. Therefore, it is meet and right for us to show Him +all honor and respect." And another quarter-cask was brought from the +cellar. The old noble became daily more fanatical in his assaults upon +the tenets to which he had so devoutly adhered before the accession to +his little congregation of the Hungarian troopers; and, at last +declared that Jesus was a Jew; that He deserved to be put to death, +because He had promulgated the unjust law of taxation. But not even +this fearful blasphemy deterred the Hungarians from their frequent +celebrations. They said: + +"If the Nazarene is so unworthy, then it is our plain duty to shed His +blood, the symbol of which is wine--" + +"Tremendously clever fellows, those Magyars!" here interrupted the +prince. + +"They were impious devils!" exclaimed the mayor reprovingly. "Impious +devils!" + +"_Habet rectum_," responded his highness. Then to the prisoner: +"Continue, my son." + +Hugo resumed his confession: + +When the last cask was brought from the cellar the old noble declared +to his congregation that the entire story of the Divine birth was a +myth invented by the priests-- + +"And you took part in those blasphemous meetings?" sternly interrupted +the mayor. + +No, indeed, your honor! That is a crime of which I am guiltless. I +never said one word; and escaped from the meetings whenever I could +manage to do so. I had determined to flee with Marinka from the sinful +community. Our plan was: I was to steal from the meeting on a certain +night, assist my pretty Marinka to descend from her room by means of +the tree outside her window and then set fire to the sheep-stables. +The conflagration would scatter the blasphemers; everybody would run +to the stables to release the horses, and in the general confusion +Marinka would hastily secure as many of the family jewels as could be +packed into a portmanteau. Then she and I would mount two of the freed +horses and gallop straightway to my camp, where I would introduce her +as my wife-- + +"A pious idea, certainly," commented the prince. + +"How can your highness say so!" in a tone of reproof, exclaimed the +mayor. "It was incendiarism pure and simple: _Incendiarii ambitiosi +comburantur_; and further: _raptus decem juvencis puniatur_, and +_rapina palu affigatur_." + +"Very well, then," assented his highness. "My son, for the +incendiarism you shall be burned at the stake; for the rape of the +maid you shall pay a fine of ten calves; for the theft of the jewels, +the punishment is impalement. Continue." + +Unfortunately, resumed the prisoner, our plans miscarried, through the +intermeddling of the old housekeeper I spoke of. Her suspicions had +been aroused by Marinka's preparations for flight; she informed the +old noble, who set spies to watch me. I was caught in the act of +firing the stables and was flogged with hazel rods until I confessed +that I was a spy from the enemy's camp. The old noble wanted to bind +me to the well-sweep; but one of the Hungarian troopers took +compassion on me and offered to buy me for sixteen Polish groschen. +His offer was accepted; I was sold to him and taken to Cracow. I +should not have had such a hard time as a slave had I not been +compelled to grind all the pepper used in the Hungarian army. I ground +enormous quantities, for the Magyars like all their food strongly +seasoned with the condiment. My eyes were red constantly; my nose was +swollen to the size of a cucumber. The only other complaint I had to +make was that my master compelled me to eat everything that was set +before me. He would say, when he placed before me enough for three +men: + +"You shall not be able to say that you hungered while you were my +slave." + +When I had eaten until I could not swallow another morsel, my master +would seize me by the shoulders, shake me as one shakes a full bag in +order to get more into it, and he would repeat the operation until the +contents of every dish had been emptied into me. I used to sicken at +the approach of meal-times, and whenever I saw the huge spoon--twice +the size of my mouth--with which the food was ladled into me. Your +honors will hardly believe that there is no greater torture than to be +stuffed with food-- + +"We have never tried that method," remarked the prince. + +"Nor are we likely to test it very soon," supplemented the mayor, with +a grim expression on his countenance. + +I yearned to be released from my unpleasant situation, resumed the +prisoner. For the first time I realized the enormity of the +transgression I had committed in joining the Socinian Community. Now +I had no one to intercede for me with the Supreme Ruler of the earth. +Had I become a Mussulman I should have had Mohammed; had I adopted the +Jewish faith I should have been able to call to my aid Abraham, or +some one of the other fathers in Israel. But I had no one. However, my +desire to be released from the tortures of food-stuffing and +pepper-grinding was at last fulfilled; I was captured, together with +the entire Hungarian army, by the Tartars-- + +"Hold! hold!" interrupted the chair. "You must not tell untruths. You +forget that you were in Poland. The Tartars could not have fallen from +the sky." + +I was about to explain how they came to be at Cracow when your honor +interrupted me. It was this way: His Majesty, the Sultan of Turkey, +who had become angry because his vassal, George Rakoczy, prince of +Transylvania, had presumed to aspire to the crown of Poland, had +commanded the khan of Crim-Tartary to attack the Hungarians with +100,000 cavalry. The khan obeyed. He devastated Transylvania in his +march, surrounded the Hungarian army in Poland and captured every man +jack of them-- + +"The explanation is satisfactory," enunciated the prince. "It was easy +enough for the Tartars to appear at Cracow." + +Yes, your highness; but I wish they hadn't, continued the accused. No +one regretted it more bitterly than did I. After the capture of the +Transylvanian army by the Tartars the victors divided the spoils as +follows: The commanding officers took possession of all the valuables; +the under-officers took the prisoners' horses; the captives +themselves were sold to the common soldiers, each of whom bought as +many slaves as he had money to spare. + +My former master was sold for five groschen; my broad shoulders +brought a higher price--nine groschen. The same Tartar--an ugly, +filthy little rascal for whom I would not have paid two +groschen--bought my master and me. + +The first thing our Tartar master did was to strip us of our good +clothes and put on us his own rags. He couldn't talk to us, as we did +not understand his language; but he managed in a very clever manner to +convey his meaning to us. He examined the material of which our shirts +were made--the Hungarian's was of fine, mine of coarse homespun linen, +and concluded that one of us was a man of means--the other a poor +devil. + +Then he took from his purse a gold coin, held it in his open palm +toward the Hungarian, while with the other hand he hung a rope of +horse-hair around his captive's neck. Then he closed his fingers over +the coin, opened them again, at the same time drawing the rope more +tightly about the captive's neck. + +This pantomime signified: "How many coins like this gold one will your +friends pay to ransom you?" + +The Hungarian closed and opened his fist ten times to indicate "one +hundred." + +The Tartar brought his teeth together, which was meant to say, "not +enough." + +Then the Hungarian indicated as before, "two hundred," whereupon the +Tartar placed the end of the rope in the captive's hand--he was +satisfied with the ransom. Then came my turn. How much ransom would be +paid for me? I shook my head to indicate "nothing;" but in Tartary, to +shake one's head means consent. The little fellow smiled, and wanted +to know "how much?" + +Not knowing how else to express my meaning, I spat in his palm, which +he understood. He put the gold coin back into his purse, took out a +silver one and held it toward me. I treated it as I had the gold coin. +Then he produced a copper coin; but I indicated with such emphasis +that not even so small a sum would be paid for me that he raised his +whip and gave me a sound cut over the shoulders. The Tartars then set +out on their return to Tartary. My former master and I were bound +together and driven on foot in front of our owner. + +How forcibly my sainted grandmother's words, "He that reviles his +Savior will be turned into an ass," came home to me when I was given +dried beans to eat--the sort we feed to asses at home. Dried beans +every meal, and my Tartar master did not think it necessary to stuff +into me what I could not eat. What were left at one meal were served +up again the next. Still more forcibly were my grandam's words +impressed on my mind when, the fifth day of our journey, I became a +veritable beast of burden. My Hungarian yoke-fellow declared his feet +were so sore he could go no farther. His was certainly a weighty body +to drag over the rough roads, especially as he had never been +accustomed to travel on foot _per pedes apostolorum_. The little +Tartar became alarmed; he feared he might lose the ransom if he left +his rich captive behind, so he alighted from his horse, examined the +Hungarian's feet and ordered him to get into the saddle. Then my feet +were examined, and I imagined I too was to be given a mount. But I was +mistaken. Before I could guess what he intended the little Tartar was +seated astride my shoulders, with his feet crossed over my breast, and +his hands clutching my hair for reins. + +Luckily for me it was a lean little snips, not much heavier than the +soldier's knapsack I was accustomed to carrying. It would have been +worse had the Hungarian been saddled on my shoulders. That gentleman +was greatly amused by the turn affairs had taken, and from his seat on +our master's horse made all manner of fun of me. + +He ridiculed my prayers, said they were of no avail where the enemy +was concerned; that a hearty curse would give me more relief. I tell +you he was a master of malediction! There was an imprecation he used +to repeat so often that I remember it to this hour. I will repeat it +for you--it is in that fearful Magyar lingo: "_Tarka kutya tarka +magasra kutyorodott kaeskaringos farka!_"[3] + +[Footnote 3: The imprecation is really quite harmless, as are many +other of the dreadful things attributed to the Magyars. It is, +literally: "The spotted dog's straight upright spotted +tail."--Translator's observation.] + +"Hold!" commanded the prince. "That sounds like an incantation." + +"Like 'abraxas,' or 'ablanathanalba,'" added the mayor, shuddering. +"We must make a note of it; the court astronomer may, with the +assistance of the professors, be able to tell us its portent." + +When the notary had taken down the imprecation, his highness, the +prince, said to the prisoner: + +"Continue, my son. How long were you compelled to remain in that +deplorable condition of slavery?" + +One day, resumed the accused, while I was fervently praying that +heaven, or Satan, would relieve me from my ignominious situation, we +turned into an oak forest. We had hardly got well into it, when, with +a fearful noise, as if heaven and earth were crashing together, the +huge trees came toppling over on us, burying the entire vanguard of +the Tartar horde, together with their captives, under the trunks and +branches. + +Every one of the trees in the forest had been sawn clear through the +trunk, but left standing upright, thus forming a horrible trap for the +Tartars. The first tree that toppled over, of course, threw over the +one against which it fell, that one in turn throwing over the next +one, and so on until the entire wood was laid low. + +My Tartar rider and I were crushed to the earth by the same tree. It +was fortunate for me that I had him on my back, for he received the +full force of the falling tree; his head was crushed, while mine was +so firmly wedged between his knees I couldn't move. The horrible noise +and confusion robbed me of my senses; I became unconscious. It is, +therefore, impossible for me to tell how I escaped with my life. I +only know that when I came to my senses I found myself in the camp of +the "Haidemaken," a company of thieves and murderers, made up of all +nationalities, the worst of all the robber bands that infested the +country. The members were the outcasts of every land--the flower of +the gallows. When inflamed with wine, they fought each other with +axes; settled all disputes with knife and club. He who had become +notorious for the worst crimes was welcomed to their ranks; the +boldest, the most reckless dare-devil, became their leader. They would +release condemned criminals, often appearing as if sprung from the +earth at the place of execution, bear away the miscreants, who, +naturally, became members of the band. + +Was a pretty woman condemned to the stake for violation of the +marriage vow or for witchcraft, the haidemaken would be on hand before +the match was applied to the faggots, and bear away the fair culprit. +In a word, the haidemaken were the hope, the comfort, the providence +of every miscreant that trembled in shackles. + +The band claimed no country as fatherland. Every wilderness, every +savage ravine, from the Matra mountains to the Volga, offered them a +secure retreat. They knew no laws save the commands of their leader, +which were obeyed to the letter. None kept for himself his stealings; +all booty was delivered into the hands of the leader, who divided it +equally among the members of the band. + +To him who, through special valor, deserved special reward, was given +the prettiest woman rescued from the stake, the dungeon, the rack. + +Where the haidemaken set up their camp, the Roman king, the prince of +Transylvania, the Wallachian woiwode, the king of Poland, the hetman +of the Cossacks, ruled only in name. The leader of the robbers alone +was the law-giver; he alone levied taxes, exacted duties. + +The trading caravans passing from Turkey to Warsaw, if they were wise, +paid without a murmur the duty levied by the haidemaken, who would +then give the traders safe conduct through all the dangerous forests, +over suspicious mountain passes, so that not a hair of their heads +would be hurt or a coin in their purses touched. + +If, on the other hand, the caravan leaders were unwise, they would +employ a military escort. Then, woe to them! The robbers would lure +them into ambush, scatter the soldiers and plunder the caravan. He who +resisted would be put to death. + +There was constant war between certain nobles and the robbers. If the +band, however, could be brought to seal a compact of peace with an +individual or a community, it was kept sacred, inviolable, as we shall +see later. + +The haidemaken never entered a church unless they desired to secure +the treasures it contained. Yet, they numbered several priests among +their ranks. They were such as had been excommunicated for some +transgression. + +The band never set out on a predatory expedition without first +celebrating mass, and receiving a blessing from one of these +renegados. If the expedition proved to be successful, the priest would +share the spoils, and dance with the robbers to celebrate the +victory. + +When one of the band took unto himself a wife, a renegado would +perform the marriage ceremony. The haidemaken were as great sticklers +for form as are the members of good society. To abduct a maid, or a +woman, was not considered a crime; but for one member to run away with +the wife of another was strictly prohibited. + +They did not erect strongholds, for they knew where to hide in +mountain caverns and in morasses, from which no human power could +drive them. + +In their various retreats they had stores of food, enough to stand a +siege for many months. How great was their daring is best illustrated +by the plot which threw me into their power. The prince of +Transylvania had invaded Poland with an army of 20,000 men. This army +was captured by the Tartar khan with his 80,000 men. Four hundred of +the robbers laid in wait for this combined force, and slaughtered the +vanguard of 2,000 men in the oak forest, as I have described. + +When I opened my eyes after the catastrophe, I was lying on a bundle +of faggots on the bank of a purling brook. By my side stood a gigantic +fellow, with a hideous red face--compared to him the Herr Mayor, +there, is a very St. Martin!--his beard and eyebrows were also red, +but of a lighter shade. His nose was cleft lengthwise--a sign that he +had had to do with the Russian administration of justice. He had the +muscles of a St. Christopher. + +At a little distance apart stood a group of similar figures, but none +was so repulsive in appearance as the giant by my side. He was +leaning on his sword, looking down at me, and when he saw my eyes open +he said, or rather bellowed, for his voice was more like the sound +that comes from the throat of a bull: + +"Well, young fellow, are you alive? Can you get up on your knees? If +so, swear that you will join our band, or I'll fling you out yonder +whence I brought you, to perish with the rest of your comrades." + +I had heard many fearful tales of the dreaded haidemaken, and knew +them to be capable of any atrocity. Moreover, I was indifferent as to +what became of me, so I said I would join the band if my life were +spared. + +"What are you?" then asked the red one, who was the leader of the +band, "peasant or noble?" + +I was not lying when I answered that I was as poor a devil as ever +caught flies to satisfy a craving for food. + +"That is well," returned the leader, "we have no use for nobles in our +ranks. You shall stand the test at once." He blew a whistle, and two +sturdy ruffians dragged from a cave nearby the loveliest maid I had +ever set eyes on. Her complexion was of milk and roses; every virtue +beamed in her gentle countenance. I can see her now, with her golden +hair falling to her ankles--and she was very tall for a woman. + +"Now lad," continued the leader, "we shall see how you stand the test. +You are to cut off this maid's head. She is the daughter of a noble, +whom we stole for a ransom; and, as her people have seen fit to ignore +our demands, she must die. Here, take this sword, and do as you are +bid." + +He handed me his sword, which was so heavy I could lift it only by +grasping it with both hands. + +The maid knelt in the grass at my feet, bent meekly forward, and +parted her beautiful hair at the back of her snowy neck, so that I +might the more easily strike the fatal blow. + +But I didn't do anything of the sort! + +Instead, I flung the sword at the feet of the leader and cried: + +"Go to perdition, you red devil! You may devour me alive--I won't harm +a hair of this pretty child's head." + +"Ho-ho," bellowed the red one, "you have betrayed yourself, my lad! +Were you a peasant you would cut off the girl's head rather than lose +your own. You are a noble--you would rather die yourself than harm a +woman. Very well; so be it! On your knees! The maid will show you how +to cut off a head at one blow. She is my own daughter." + +He handed the sword to the maid, who had risen to her feet and was +laughing at me. She took the heavy weapon in one hand and swung it as +lightly as if it had been a hazel rod, several times about her head. I +have always been fortunate enough to be able to command my feelings, +no matter what the situation; no matter how extreme the danger, I +never allow myself to yield to fear. + +I looked at the wonderful maid confronting me with mocking eyes, her +white teeth gleaming between her red lips, her beautiful hair shining +like gold. + +"Kneel!" she cried, stamping her foot. "Kneel and say your prayers." + +A faint-hearted fellow would, most likely, have lost courage; but, as +I said before, I had never made the acquaintance of fear. So I +laughed, and said: "I am not going to kneel; and I am not going to +pray. I don't want to part with my head, I have too much need of it +myself." Then I turned boldly toward her father, and addressed him: +"Captain, I want to marry your daughter," I said. "Let me serve under +you for one year, and, if at the end of that time I have not proved +myself worthy to be your son-in-law, you may cut off my head, and +welcome!" + +The robber chief received this daring speech with a grin that was like +the grimace of a hungry wolf preparing to devour a lamb. + +"Fellow, do you know what you ask?" he bellowed. "The suitor for the +hand of my daughter is tortured to death by that hand if he fails to +perform the tasks she sets for him." + +"All right!" I returned jauntily, "you needn't give yourself any +trouble about me." + +He held out his hand; I gave him mine, and the pressure it received in +the powerful grasp was so severe that the blood spurted from under the +finger-nails. But I did not betray by look or sign how badly it hurt +me. Nay, I even gave a playful pinch with the crushed fingers to the +cheek of the golden-haired maid and received from her in return a +sound slap on my hand. + +I could see that my behavior won favor in the eyes of the robbers. +But we had little time for merry-making. The main body of the Tartar +army now drew near, and we were face to face with an infuriated enemy +outnumbering our band a hundred to one. + +In face of the extreme danger which threatened, our leader remained +calm. At a signal from him, his men with lightning speed set fire in +fifty different places to the fallen trees, among which a considerable +number of the vanguard, who had not been crushed to death, were +hiding. + +Of course the poor wretches, Tartars and captives alike, were consumed +in the flames; we could hear their shrieks of agony when we were half +way up the mountain, to which we had made our escape. + +The Tartar army not being able to follow us, because of the burning +forest, made our escape easy; and, by the time the trees had been +reduced to ashes, we were far enough away, and in a place of safety. + +Instead of giving me weapons to carry, I was compelled to continue in +the role of beast of burden; a heavy bag of treasure was strapped on +my back. We marched until the next morning. The haidemaken travelled +only by night, consequently they were familiar with all roads and +mountain passes. + +When day broke we halted to rest and partake of a scanty meal. While +we were eating, the leader asked me my name, and I gave him the first +one that came into my head: "Jaroslaw Terguko," which was the name of +Marinka's father. If I couldn't steal anything else from him I could +at least steal his name? + +Late in the afternoon we set out again on our journey, which led us +over rugged paths and through savage gorges where no signs of human +life were to be seen. At last we entered a deep defile between two +mountain spurs. The walls of rock on either side seemed, with their +projections and hollows, as if they might once have been joined +together. They were nearer together at the top than at the base, and +when I looked up at the narrow strip of sky far, far above me, I had a +sensation as if the two walls were coming together. In this almost +inaccessible defile was the chief retreat of the haidemaken. It was a +stronghold that could successfully defy all human assaults. + +In the south wall, about twenty yards from the base, yawns the mouth +of a huge cavern. + +At that point the wall is so steep, and inclines forward to such a +degree, that access to the cavern cannot be gained by means of a +ladder. The robbers, however, had contrived a clever hoisting +apparatus. + +From the top of the opposite wall a mountain brook had once leaped +into the defile, to continue its way over the rocky bed into the +valley. + +When the haidemaken first established themselves in the cavern, it +happened frequently that they would be blockaded in their retreat by +the nobles and their followers, who had pursued the predatory band to +the defile. + +At such times the robbers suffered greatly from the scarcity of fresh +water, especially if they chanced to be out of wine. Therefore, they +conceived the plan of conducting the brook from the opposing wall into +the cavern through a stout oaken gutter, and the water at the same +time served to turn a series of wheels. Over one of the wheels ran a +stout iron chain, to which were securely attached several large +baskets; and so skillfully was the apparatus manipulated that the +entire band might be hoisted into, or let down from, the cavern in the +short space of two hours. It was a most admirable contrivance for the +robbers, but not so admirable for the dwellers in the valley. The +intercepted brook now flowed into the cave, and, as the water did not +fill the cave, the most natural conclusion was that it found an outlet +through various subterranean fissures. + +The turning of the water from its original channel caused Prince +Siniarsky considerable inconvenience, in that all his saw-mills, +flour-mills and leather factory were left without a motor; while the +inhabitants of the surrounding hamlets, who were dependent on their +looms for a livelihood, were compelled to remove to another region, +because they now were unable to bleach the linen. + +Still greater was the misfortune which had overtaken Count Potocky. He +was the owner of extensive salt mines on the further side of the +mountain, which contains an illimitable deposit of the saliferous +substance. The haidemaken were unable to drink the water of the +lakelet in the bottom of their cavern, because of its saline +character. + +After the course of the brook had been changed, the worthy Count +Potocky discovered one day that innumerable springs of fresh water +were bursting from his side of the mountain, and flooding his most +profitable mines. If he attempted to obstruct the flow of water in +one place it would break out in another. + +At last the two magnates discovered the cause of the mischief, and +determined to oust the thievish haidemaken from their retreat by +fumigation. So long as the band confined their depredations to the +trading caravans they might be tolerated; but, when they became +insolent enough to interfere with the comfort and convenience of the +magnates, it was high time to put a stop to their pestiferous conduct! + +And so an expedition against the cavern was planned. Before it could +be carried out the war against the Transylvanians and Swedes broke +out, and the noble gentlemen were compelled to march with their +followers toward the invaders; but when hostilities ceased and the +succoring Tartars had returned home, a formal blockade of the robbers +was constituted. + +The entrance to their cavern, which is about as large as the door of +the cathedral at Coblentz, was fortified by a double parapet furnished +with loop-holes. The intercepted brook did not pour its waters into +the main entrance, but into a side opening, underneath which was the +hoisting wheel. This wheel also turned the mill-stone, which ground +the rye used by the robbers. + +The band included a miller as well as a smith, a shoemaker and a +tailor. As it is dark in the cave, all work was performed by +torchlight. Where all the torches used in the cavern were procured I +learned afterward. + +The fore part of the cavern, into which the rays of the blessed sun +penetrate as far as the opposite wall permits, is like a vaulted hall. +In it were stored the weapons: all manner of fire-arms, all patterns +of cutting, thrusting and hurling implements, which had been purloined +from the armories of noble castles. Here, for the first time, I saw an +old-time culverin, rusty with age and for want of care. In this part +of the cavern were stored also the provisions in huge stone +receptacles--enough to feed four hundred men during a long siege. + +From the provision chamber a low, narrow passage leads to the +mill-cave, but, as I never entered it, I cannot tell you just what it +contained. + +The main cavern is spacious as a church. When the entire band were +assembled in the vast hall they were as lost in it. The arched roof is +so high above the floor it is invisible in the gloom, which not even +the light of many torches can dispel. + +From this hall numerous narrow passages and corridors lead to smaller +caves, in which the artisans of the band performed their labors. These +unfortunates certainly must have been captives; for it is hardly +possible that any man would, of his own free will, consent to pass his +life toiling in so gloomy a hole. When we arrived at the cavern the +leader asked me if I had a trade, and, as I could truthfully reply +that the only one I was perfectly familiar with was that of +bombardier, I did so. + +"Very good; you shall soon have an opportunity to prove that you +understand your trade as thoroughly as you say," he growled. "It is +not safe to boast here, my lad, and not be able to perform--as you +shall soon learn." + +Meanwhile the robbers had hoisted to the cavern the booty taken from +the Tartars. It was stored in one of the smaller chambers, into which +I merely got a glimpse, as they rolled the huge slab of granite from +the entrance, but that fleeting glance was enough to dazzle my eyes. +There were heaps on heaps of costly articles: robes, mantles, +vestments, richly embroidered with gold and precious gems, gold and +silver chalices, shrines, _ciboria_, pastoral staffs, and a host of +valuables too numerous to remember. Had the haidemaken only decided to +disband then, every one of them would have received a fortune as his +share of the plunder. + +It is not to be wondered at that such stores of gold and silver had +accumulated. The robbers never had occasion to need money. + +The provision chamber was filled with food and drink. Such quantities +of meat and bread were served that every man had all he wanted to eat, +while casks of metheglin were constantly on tap. + +The secret of this inexhaustible food supply was known only to the +leader and his daughter. No matter how much was taken from the +provision chamber, no decrease was ever noticeable. + +The first evening of our return, the successful expedition was +celebrated by a feast. After the robbers had eaten their fill, they +lighted a huge fire and danced wildly around it; and when they had +drunk all they wanted, they gathered about their leader and his +daughter, who had taken their seats on an estrade draped with purple +cloth. + +Then a pale-faced young man was dragged into the hall and placed in +front of the leader. + +I saw now that a sort of trial was about to be held, a singular +tribunal, where the judge and the jury first get tipsy! + +"Jurko," said the leader to the youth, "you are accused of +cowardice--of having run away at the approach of the enemy; also, of +having neglected to give warning of the coming of the Tartars." + +"I am not guilty," responded the youth in defence. "You placed me on +guard to watch for the Tartars. Instead of the Tartars came wolves. +Ten of the beasts attacked me--maybe there were fifty. If I had +allowed the wolves to eat me, how could I have signaled to you? I +didn't run away--I hid in a hollow tree to defend myself--one against +fifty! I call that brave, not cowardly." + +"Silly chatter!" bellowed the leader. "No matter what happened, you +should have obeyed the command of your leader. If you are not the +coward you are accused of being, then prove it by standing the test." + +"That I will!" cried the youth, striking his breast with his fist. + +The leader rose, took his daughter's hand, stepped down from the +estrade, and, bidding his comrades follow, moved with the maid toward +the rear of the cavern, which, until now, had been buried in midnight +gloom. + +Here the ground slopes steeply downward, and I could see by the light +of the torches that we were on the verge of an abyss, at the bottom of +which was water. + +The leader held a wisp of straw to a torch, then tossed it into the +abyss, which was lighted for a few seconds by the circling wreath of +blazing straw; but it was quite long enough for me to see the terrible +grandeur of the yawning gulf. + +After tossing the straw into the abyss, the leader snatched the red +and yellow striped silken kerchief from his daughter's neck, leaving +the lovely snow-white shoulders and bosom uncovered, and flung it also +into the abyss. + +"There, Jurko," he cried, "you have often boasted that you are the +bravest of our band, and you have aspired to the hand of my daughter +Madus. If you are what you pretend to be, fetch the bride's kerchief +from the lake down yonder." + +The youth stepped boldly enough to the rim of the yawning gulf, and +every one believed he was going to dive into it. But he halted on the +edge, leaned forward and peered down at the water far below. After a +moment's survey, he drew back, rubbed his ear with his fingers and +made a wry face. + +"Why don't you jump?" cried his comrades, tauntingly. + +Jurko cautiously thrust one leg over the edge, bent forward and took +another look; then he drew back his leg and rose to his feet. + +"The devil may jump into this hell for me!" he exclaimed; "there's no +getting out of it again for him who is fool enough to enter it!" + +"Ho, coward! coward!" derisively shouted his comrades, rushing upon +him. They disarmed him and dragged him by the hair toward a cleft in +the wall of the cavern, wide enough only to admit the body of a man. +This opening was closed by a block of granite that required the +combined strength of six men to move it. A lighted candle was placed +in the trembling youth's hand; then he was thrust into the rock-tomb, +and the granite door moved back to its place. The wild laughter of his +comrades drowned the shrieks of the victim who had been buried alive. + +Then followed the "dance of death," and I never witnessed anything +more terrifying. The lovely Madus feigned death and looked it, too! +and every member had to dance a turn with her. When it came my turn, +the leader said to me: + +"Hold, lad, you may not dance with Madus until you have become really +one of us--until you have stood the test. Moreover, you, too, presume +to aspire to the hand of my daughter." + +"Yes, I do!" I replied, "and I will do whatever I am bid." + +"Very good; the bride's kerchief lies down yonder in the lake; let us +see if you are courageous enough to go after it." + +"You surely did not undertake so foolhardy a task?" here interrupted +the prince; and the chair dictated to the notary as follows: + +"Sinful tempting of providence, prompted by criminal desire for an +impure female." + +"Yes, your highness, I performed the task," continued Hugo, "but I beg +your honors not to register the leap as an additional transgression. I +am not responsible for it. I was compelled to jump or be buried alive +in the wall of the cavern. Besides, I knew the danger was not so great +as it appeared. When a boy, I once visited a salt mine. I had seen by +the light of the blazing straw that the walls of the abyss were formed +of the dark blue strata peculiar to salt mines, and guessed that the +lake was strongly impregnated with salt. I had also noticed on the +further wall of the abyss a flight of steps hewn in the rock, and +concluded that I had nothing to fear from drowning in the buoyant +water, if I reached it in safety. But, before I proceed farther, I +desire to enter a formal protest against the chair's designating my +beloved Madus an 'impure female.' She was pure and innocent--an angel +on earth, a saint in heaven. He that defames her must do battle with +me--my adversary in coat of mail, I in doublet of silk. The weapons: +lances, swords, or maces--whatever he may select; and I positively +refuse to proceed with my confession until his honor, the mayor, has +given me satisfaction, or amended the protocol." + +"Well, mayor," said the prince, addressing the chair, "I think the +prisoner is justified in his protest. Either you must amend the +protocol, or fight him." + +The former expedient was chosen, and the notary erased the latter +clause of the protocol. It read, when corrected: "Sinful temptation +of providence by chaste affection for a respectable maid." + +"Now, my son, you may jump." + +Hugo thanked the prince and resumed his confession: + +I pressed my ankles together, bent forward, and sprang, head foremost, +into the abyss. As I sped swiftly downward, there was a sound like +swelling thunder in my ears, then I became stone deaf, and the water +closed over me. My eyes and mouth told me it was salt water, and +whatever apprehension I had had vanished. The next moment I was +floating on the surface, my head and shoulders above the water. I soon +found the kerchief, which I tied about my neck, amid the acclamations +and cheers of my comrades, which were multiplied by the echoing walls +to the most infernal roaring. The torches held over the mouth of the +abyss gleamed through the darkness like a blood-red star in the +firmament of hades. + +A few vigorous strokes propelled me to the steps leading from the lake +to the upper gallery of the abyss, which is really an abandoned salt +mine. + +There are one hundred and eighty steps, but by taking two at a time I +reduced them to ninety; and three minutes after I had taken my leap, I +stood, encrusted from head to foot with salt--like a powdered +imp!--before my blushing Madus. + +She received me with a bashful smile when the robbers carried me on +their shoulders to her, and I was about to kiss her, when the leader +seized me by the collar and drew me back. + +"Not yet, lad, not yet!" he cried. "You have only been through the +christening ceremony. Confirmation comes next. You must become a +member of our faith before you can become my daughter's husband. Every +man that marries a princess must adopt her belief." + +Now, as your honors may have guessed, the question of religion was one +I did not require much time to answer. I consented without a moment's +hesitation to adopt my Madus' faith. The leader then signed to one of +the band to prepare for the ceremony of confirmation. It was one of +the priests of whom I have spoken--I had taken particular notice of +him during the feast, because he ate and drank more than any one else. + +"He that becomes a member of our society"--the leader informed +me--"must take a different name from the one he has borne elsewhere. I +am called 'Nyedzviedz,' which signifies either 'the bear,' or 'without +equal.' What name shall we give you?" + +Some one suggested that, as I was an expert swimmer, I should be +called "Szczustak" (perch); another thought "Lyabedz" (swan), more +suitable and prettier, but I told them that, as I excelled most in +hurling bombs, "Baran" (ram), would be still more appropriate; and +Baran it was decided I should be called. + +In the meantime the robber priest had donned his vestments. On his +plentifully oiled hair rested a tall, gold-embroidered hat; over his +coarse peasant coat he had drawn a richly decorated cassock; his feet +were thrust into a pair of slippers, also handsomely embroidered--relics, +obviously, of some gigantic saint; for the robber priest's feet, from +which he had not removed his boots, were quite hidden in them. In his +hands he held a silver crucifix; and as I looked at him, the thought +came to me that he had, without a doubt, made way with the original +wearer and bearer of the rich vestments, and the crucifix. + +He ordered me to kneel before him. I did so, and he began to perform +all sorts of hocus-pocus over me. I couldn't understand a word of it, +for he spoke in Greek, and I had not yet become familiar with that +language. I learned it later. + +After mumbling over me for several minutes, he smeared some +ill-smelling ointment on my nose; then he fumigated me with incense +until I was almost suffocated. In concluding, when he bestowed on me +my new name, he gave me such a vigorous box on the ear, that it rang +for several seconds, and I almost fell backward. The blow was not +given with the hand of the priest, but with the sturdy fist of the +robber. + +This is carrying the joke too far, I said to myself; and, before the +ruffian could guess what I intended, I was on my feet, and had +delivered a right-hander on the side of his head that sent his gold +hat spinning across the floor, and himself, and his slippers after it. + +"_Actus majoris potentiae contra ecclesiasticam personam!_" dictated +the mayor to the notary; while his highness, the prince, held his +stomach, and laughed until the tears ran down his cheeks. + +"I should like to have seen that performance!" he exclaimed when he +had got his breath again. "Did the padre excommunicate you?" + +Not much, he didn't, your highness! From that moment I became a person +of consequence among the haidemaken. The leader slapped me heartily on +the shoulder, and said approvingly: + +"You're the right sort, lad--we need no further proof." + +After a bumper all 'round, to celebrate my entrance to the community, +every man wrapped himself in his bear-skin, and lay down on the floor +of the cavern. Although the torches had been extinguished I could see, +by the faint light which penetrated from the entrance, that Madus +ascended a rope ladder to a deep hollow high up in the wall, and drew +the ladder up after her. + +In a very few minutes the snores from the four hundred robbers +proclaimed them oblivious to this work-a-day world. + +At day-break the watchman's horn brought every man to his feet; at the +same moment the leader appeared from an adjoining chamber, and gave to +each one his task for the day. + +After we had breakfasted, Nyedzviedz conducted me, in company with +Madus and several of the band, to the armory. + +"Here Baran," he said,--thrusting his foot against the culverin I +mentioned before--"you claim to be a skilled bombardier. Let us see if +you understand how to manage a thing like this. We stole it from +Count Potocky's castle, and brought it here with great difficulty. +Sixteen men would carry it two hundred steps, then other sixteen would +relieve them, and so on. We didn't find out until we had got it up +here that it would be of no use to us. The first time we tried to fire +it off--it lay on the ground as now--four men sat astride of it, as on +a horse, to steady it. I, myself, directed the shot toward the mouth +of the cavern, and three men stood behind me to observe operations. +When I applied the fuse, the infernal thing sprang into the air +flinging the four men astride it to the roof of the cave; while the +ball, instead of going where I had aimed--out of the entrance--imbedded +itself in the wall over yonder, where it still sticks." + +I laughed heartily at his amusing description of the gun's behavior; +whereupon he said soberly: + +"Oh, you may laugh, but it was no laughing matter I can tell you! I +made a second attempt. I tied a rope around the rascal's neck to +prevent him from kicking again, and fastened the ends securely to two +stout pegs driven into the ground. 'There, sir,' I said, 'now kick if +you want to!' I lighted the fuse--the demon didn't kick this time; +instead he rushed backward dragging both pegs with him; broke the +right leg of one of the men, the left of another, and both legs of the +third; and the ball bored itself into the corner over there. Now let +us see if you can do any better." + +"Oh, you stupid bear!" I exclaimed, unable to restrain my mirth, "you +may thank your stars that the rusty old gun didn't burst into flinders +and kill every one of you!--as you deserved! The first thing to be +done with the culverin is to clean and polish it until it shines like +a mirror. Then--who ever heard of laying a cannon on the ground to +fire it off?--it must have a sort of platform on wheels so it can be +moved about." + +The leader immediately gave orders to the smith and the wagon-maker of +the band to obey my instructions and complete as quickly as possible +the sort of gun-carriage I should describe to them, and I set about at +once to clean and scour the old culverin which, with the accumulated +rust of years, was no light task. + +There was no time to lose, for the Tartars, with their Hungarian +captives, having vacated Poland, the Polish magnates returned to their +castles, and prepared to carry out the plans for punishing the +insolent haidemaken, which had been interrupted by the war. Those +members of the band who were sent on various errands into the regions +adjacent to the Prsjaka Gorge, brought back, instead of booty, bloody +heads, and the startling news that the roads leading to the Gorge were +filled with armed troopers. + +The two despoiled magnates had combined their forces, and were +prepared for a regular siege of the plundering haidemaken. + +The latter, however, merely laughed at the warlike preparations. They +were not afraid of a siege! Nyedzviedz, on learning of the approach of +the beleaguerers, instead of curtailing our rations, doubled them, +mystifying all of us by the seemingly illimitable supplies in the +provision chamber. We received, every day, double rations of fresh +goats' meat and mutton, and yet there was not in any of the caves even +the sign of a living animal. + +Meanwhile the beleaguerers advanced steadily. + +There was a stratagem the robbers had frequently resorted to in order +to vanquish a beleaguering foe. They opened an underground sluice +through which the water of the salt lake in the bottom of the abyss +would rush into the defile and drown the enemy. But Prince Siniarsky's +troopers had become familiar with this trick; and one morning, when we +awoke, we found that a stone wall had been built across the gorge +while we slept. An arched opening in the center of the base would give +egress to all the water we might choose to let out of the lake. + +This was bad enough, but worse came later. + +The wall increased in height every night. I told Nyedzviedz at the +beginning what would be the outcome of such a proceeding; when the top +of the wall should have reached to the height of the wooden gutter +which conveyed the brook into the cavern, Siniarsky's men would fling +a line over it, attach a stout chain to the line, and when they had +drawn it over the gutter it would be easy enough to pull it down. + +"In that case we shall die of thirst," growled the leader, "for there +isn't any other water in the cavern fit to drink. But a still greater +danger, of which you know nothing, threatens us." + +He did not tell me what it was, but he became so morose and +ill-tempered, that no one but his daughter ventured to speak to him. + +The haidemaken made several assaults on the wall, but the troopers +returned the fire with such volleys from the numerous loop-holes in +it, that our men were always forced to retreat. + +All hopes were now centered in me, and on the culverin, which I had +polished until it shone like gold. The carriage for it had been +completed, and balls cast under my directions. + +The wall grew higher and higher, until at last the top was on a level +with our conduit. Its completion was celebrated in the enemy's camp by +the blaring of trumpets, and beating of drums, and what I had foretold +came to pass; the arquebusier mounted to the top of the wall, adjusted +his arquebuse on its forked rest, and prepared to take aim at our +water conduit. + +"Now, watch me!" said I to Nyedzviedz, pointing the culverin's muzzle +toward the cornice of the wall. + +Two shots sounded simultaneously, and when the smoke had cleared away, +there was neither arquebuse, nor arquebusier--nor yet the cornice of +the wall, to be seen. All three had vanished. + +I took aim a second time--this time at the base of the wall; and at +the sixth shot, the entire structure of solid masonry tumbled down +with a deafening crash, burying under it the musketeers who were at +the loop-holes. Not one of them escaped alive. + +The haidemaken, with loud cries of triumph, now hastily descended from +the cavern in their baskets, and flung themselves on the enemy, and +while the combat raged in the defile below me, I wheeled my culverin +to the mouth of the cavern, and hurled shot after shot toward the +troopers who were hurrying to the aid of their comrades. + +The enemy was completely routed, and our men returned to the cavern +richly laden with spoils. + +So all-powerful is a cannon when its management is thoroughly +understood. + +"That will do for today;" at this point observed the prince. "The +confession will be continued tomorrow." + + +THE VISZPA OGROD. + +The next morning Hugo resumed his confession: + +When the haidemaken, after having put to flight the troopers returned +with their booty to the cavern, the leader said to me: + +"Well, Baran, you certainly earned your name today, by proving +yourself a most effective 'ram.' To your assaults with the culverin we +owe our victory. Here is the treasure we took from the vanquished +foe--take of it what you want, you have the first choice." Gold and +silver galore lay before me, but I answered: "Thank you, Nyedzviedz, +you know very well I have no use for money; instead, I want your +daughter--for her alone I have served you; she is the reward I +desire." + +To this reply the leader shook his head irritably, and said: "I am +disappointed in you, Baran. You are, after all, only a tender-hearted +dove that wants to bill and coo. The man who has a wife is only half a +man. The true haidemak embraces his sweetheart, then slays her--or +better: slays her first. Why do you desire to marry? Be wise, lad, and +remain a celibate. If you will think no more of Madus I will make you +my second in command." + +"But I can't, and won't think of anything but Madus," I returned, +stubbornly; "and if you don't give her to me, you are not a man of +your word." + +"You don't know what you are asking, Baran," again said the leader. +"If you persist in your demand you will compel me to send you the way +all our members have gone who proved themselves to be soft-hearted +doves. The man who wants to bill and coo cannot remain with us. If you +marry Madus you must leave us." + +I told him I would manage somehow to endure such a calamity, which +made him laugh heartily. + +"I know very well, Baran, my lad, that it would not grieve you to +leave us, if you were allowed to depart with Madus to the outside +world. But that may not be. The man we pronounce a 'dove,' must go a +different route. The youth who refused to leap into the abyss the day +you arrived, was a dove. You saw what became of him. A hundred and +more love-lorn swains, and cowards have gone the same way. You will +find in every crevice the skeletons of the unfortunates. Do you still +desire to join the ghastly company?" + +It did not sound very alluring--to celebrate one's nuptials among +cadavers; but when I looked at Madus, who was standing by her father's +side, the glance which met mine from her beaming eyes banished from +my thoughts everything but her beautiful image, and I said: + +"It matters not whither I go if my Madus goes with me--be the journey +to hades itself!" + +When Madus also declared she had no dread of undertaking the journey +with me, her father summoned a priest--the same bearded rascal that +had performed the ceremony of confirmation over me. + +His vestments this time were even more magnificent--('acquired,' I +have not the least doubt, from some wealthy cathedral by my respected +father-in-law and his comrades) and with all manner of unintelligible +mummery he performed the ceremony, which united me and my beloved +Madus in the holy bonds of matrimony. + +When the marriage ceremony was concluded, my wife and I each received +from her father a costly, gold ornamented cap, and a richly +embroidered mantle; a bag of provisions, and a jug of wine were also +given to us. Then we were conducted to the same cleft in the wall of +the cavern, in which the unfortunate Jurko had been entombed. + +When the heavy rock had been removed from the opening the robbers, one +after the other, shook hands with us. The leader was so deeply +affected he embraced both of us. After a lighted taper had been placed +in my hand, we were thrust into the narrow passage which was +immediately closed behind us. + +The noises in the cavern sounded like the low murmur one hears in a +sea-shell held close to the ear. By the faint light from our taper I +could see a smile of encouragement on my Madus' face, and obeyed +without a question when she bade me follow her. + +We had forced our way through the narrow passage, which was hardly +wide enough for one person, a considerable distance, when we suddenly +came to a small chamber about the size of a room in a pleasant +cottage. Here, Madus said, we should have to rest and pass the night. + +"Night?" I repeated. "We can easily bring the blackness of midnight +upon us in this hole! We have only to extinguish the candle. But we +shall never know when it is morning. Daylight never enters here. No +cheerful cock-crow ever reaches this tomb. Here, no one will come to +rouse us, and say: 'Rise, rise! morning, beauteous morning, is come.'" + +"Fie, fie, Baran," chided my Madus. "Do you already regret the step +you have taken? Should you be sorry never again to see daylight--now +that you have me with you?" + +"No, no," I answered, promptly, ashamed of my momentary regret. "No, +no," and I set about preparing for our night's rest. We spread our +bear skins on the floor of the cave, sat down on them, and ate our +supper, becoming quite cheerful as the wine sped with pleasurable +warmth through our veins. + +Suddenly Madus turned toward me and asked: + +"Where do you imagine we are, Baran?" + +"In paradise," I made answer, kissing her. + +Thereupon she roguishly blew out the light and asked again: "Can you +see me?" + +"No," I answered, for I could see nothing at all. "Look again, Baran, +and repeat after me what I say." + +I fixed my eyes where I believed her to be, and repeated after her, +word for word, the Lord's Prayer, the _Ave Maria_ and the _Credo_, and +as I did so, it seemed to me as if the dear child's countenance came +into view, gradually growing brighter and brighter, until the gloom +disappeared, and the subterranean grotto became irradiated as with the +sunlight of noon. I did not tell her so, though, for women are so +easily made vain; but from that moment I became convinced that Madus +was my guardian angel. + +Never, in all my life, have I been so happy as I was with my beloved +Madus in that underground cave, and I should have been content to stop +there with her until the end of time! I would not have inquired if +ever a morning would dawn again for us, had not Madus roused me from a +sound slumber, and lighted the taper. + +"What do you imagine will become of us?" she asked, and I replied: + +"I believe the haidemaken are playing a trick on us, and that they +will fetch us away from here after a while." + +"No, you are mistaken, Baran, we shall never again return to the +cavern. The haidemaken do not expect to see us again." + +"But, surely, Nyedzviedz will not allow his only daughter to perish +miserably in this hole?" I exclaimed. + +"Alas, you don't know him, my poor Baran," returned Madus sorrowfully. +"My father's heart is impervious to pity. Those whom he banishes, as +we have been banished, can never return to the cavern." + +I now became alarmed in earnest. Until that moment I had entertained a +suspicion that the haidemaken were only trying to frighten me. + +I was cursing my folly--mentally of course--for having allowed the +fascinations of a love-dream to lure me to so wretched a fate, when +Madus rose from her bear skin couch, and bade me follow her. I +remembered her radiant countenance of the preceding evening, and my +confidence in her was restored. + +We passed onward, through the narrow corridor which traversed numerous +caves, larger and smaller than the one in which we had rested. I kept +glancing furtively, right and left, expecting every moment to see the +helpless skeletons with which Nyedzviedz had tried to intimidate me. + +On, on we pressed, occasionally passing the entrance to a cave that +was stored with all manner of plunder. At last I noticed that the +corridor began to widen, and suddenly my soul was rejoiced to +discover, far ahead, a faint gleam of light that became brighter and +brighter as we approached. It was daylight! + +"Hurrah!" I shouted aloud, in my ecstacy clasping Madus to my heart. +"We are free! We are free!" + +"Free? No, my Baran, far from it!" she returned gently and sadly. "We +are approaching our life-prison. You will soon see it." + +The passage was now wide enough for the two of us to walk side by +side. We did not need the taper now, for we had sunlight from the +strip of blue sky we could see overhead. I pressed eagerly forward to +see more of it. I could have drunk in at one long breath the entire +heaven. + +At last we arrived at the end of the passage between the two tall +walls of rock, and there below us lay the Viszpa Ogrod, which means: +"Island Garden." + +And it is a veritable island; only, instead of water, it is +encompassed by rocks--rocks so high, and so steep, that nothing +wingless can ever hope to escape over them into the world outside. + +Heaven-towering walls of basalt, naked cliffs, sheer inaccessible, +dome-shaped, and truncated, ranged one against the other in a compact +mass like the facade of a vast cathedral, environ the Viszpa Ogrod, +which, with its verdant fields, forest, fruit and vegetable gardens, +lies like a gleaming emerald in a setting of rock, at the bottom of +the deep crater. + +From the dizzy heights of the cavern wall leaps a stream, that is +transformed to iridescent spray before it reaches the valley, there to +pursue its sinuous course amid the fields, gardens, and tiny white +dwellings upon which we looked down as through a misty veil. + +"That is our future home," whispered Madus. "Our life-prison from +which there is no escape. To this island garden is banished all those +haidemaken who prove too tender-hearted for their cruel trade, or tire +of their adventurous life; also those who refuse to desert the women +they love. Here, the banished dwell together and till the ground--they +will never again see any other portion of the globe than this little +valley." + +The Viszpa Ogrod revealed the secret of the haidemaken's power to defy +a siege. This island garden made it possible for them to defy all the +troops sent against them, for it contained an inexhaustible supply of +provisions. When the robbers discovered it, it was a wilderness of +stunted fir trees. No living creature could exist in it, for there was +no water until the brook, conducted into the cavern from the opposite +side of the defile, found an outlet into it, thence, through the +ground, into Prince Siniarsky's salt mines. + +The water very soon wrought a wonderful change in the aspect of the +valley. A portion of the stunted forest was cleared, and the ground +planted with rye, vegetables, and various shrubs and plants which +throve luxuriantly in this "garden" sheltered from the cold winds by +the wall of rock. The firs left standing put forward new growth, and +became stately trees--everything, even the human beings that came to +dwell here, underwent a complete transformation. + +True, those whom the haidemaken sent to the valley had already become +tender-hearted, or, weary of the wild life of the robbers; but, no +matter what the life of a man had been before he became a member of +the little community in the island garden, there he would forget the +entire world, become an entirely new being. + +I speak from experience, for I, who have enjoyed a full share of this +world's pleasures--everything that can rejoice the king in his palace, +and the dreams of the prisoner in his dungeon--I never was truly happy +until I went to dwell with my beloved Madus in the Viszpa Ogrod. + +A narrow path winds from the outlet of the rock-corridor down into the +valley. Madus, who was perfectly familiar with the path, led the way, +recognizing, while still at a distance from them, each occupant of the +little cottages. The children ran to meet us, and, on hearing from +Madus who I was, seized our hands, and with shouts of joy drew us +toward the village. + +A bell was rung to announce our arrival. Later I learned from the +inscription on this bell that it had formerly swung in the tower of +Bicloviez monastery. Like everything else in the valley, it had been +stolen. Everything, even the beautiful cloth and silk garments which +clothed the women--nay the women themselves, were plunder. + +Robber and robbed dwelt together amid plunder in harmony, happy as +Adam and Eve in Eden. They ploughed, planted, and gathered the harvest +in perfect contentment. They shared their abundance with the cavern, +and received in return plunder from all parts of the world. + +As I have said before, there were no animals in the Viszpa Ogrod when +the robbers discovered it, and as it was impossible to convey +full-grown cattle through the narrow passage from the cavern, calves, +goats, and lambs instead were brought to the valley, which had become +so well stocked with everything necessary to sustain a large army, +that no potentate on earth could have reduced the haidemaken to +starvation, no matter to what length the siege might have been +extended. + +The only danger which threatened the cavern was the stoppage of their +water supply. Were that cut off, the luxuriance and fruitfulness of +the valley would vanish, and it would become again an arid wilderness +uninhabitable for man and beast. This was the danger dreaded by +Nyedzviedz when the troopers began to build their wall in the defile. + +The dwellers in the Viszpa Ogrod lived together like the family of +Father Abraham in the promised land. The eldest of the men was the +patriarch. He made all the laws; issued all the commands; allotted to +each one his task and share of the harvest, giving to everyone as much +as was required for the needs of himself and his household. + +There was no priest in the valley. There was no Sabbath. The pleasant +days were working-days; when it rained everybody rested. + +There was no praying, no cursing, no quarreling. There, where every +head of a household had once been a thief, no disputing about mine and +thine was ever heard. There, every woman--and not one of them had been +given an opportunity to vow fidelity to her mate before the altar, but +had been forcibly conveyed to the valley--was so faithful, so modest, +that no stranger could have told what was the color of her eyes. + +When Madus and I arrived in the valley, Zoraw, the patriarch, prepared +for us a feast, to which were invited the rest of the community to the +number of eighty. After the feast, Zoraw conducted us to the brook, +where we drank with everyone the pledge of fraternity from a wooden +bottle of fresh water--that being the only beverage in the valley. At +the conclusion of this ceremony, the bottle was broken in pieces, to +symbolize unalterable alliance. + +Then Zoraw measured off and assigned to us our plot of ground. The +entire community lent a hand, and in two days our cottage was under +roof, modestly furnished, and ready for occupancy. In the stable stood +a cow and a goat for the housewife. When we were comfortably settled +in our new home I was asked by the patriarch what manner of tools he +should give me; and finding that I should be compelled to +work--something I had never learned at school, or in the field--I +chose the trade of smith, which would at least give me the handling of +iron, without which I never felt contented. + +I became accustomed in a very short time to my new mode of life. I +would work at my trade the allotted time every day, then go home to my +wife, who would tell me how the ducklings had got smothered in the +shell, how the milk had turned sour, and such like prattle. And one +day she whispered blushingly in my ear the secret which makes the +husband's heart beat faster with joy and pride. In listening to it, I +forgot everything else in the world. The thought that I was to become +the father of a family, that would grow up to know no other home but +this peaceful valley, filled my soul with joy and content. This +thought became to me what roots are to a tree; it attached me so +securely to my little plot of ground, that I felt as if no power on +earth could tear me away from it. My beloved Madus, and our little +home, became doubly dear to me. Had all the wealth, all the splendor +that came to me later, been offered me then in exchange for my Madus +and the humble little home she filled with her joyous presence, I +should have refused with scorn. + + +THE KOLTUK-DENGENEGI. + +I had become perfectly satisfied with my peaceful and uneventful +existence. My entire world now lay within the rocky rim of the Viszpa +Ogrod. My entire happiness lay in the beaming smile with which my +Madus greeted my home-coming every day. My labors in the smithy were +always over by noon; the afternoons were devoted to work required to +be done at home. + +One day I was siting in the hall-way of our cottage busily employed +fashioning, from some crimson willow withes, a pretty basket-cradle, +when a shadow suddenly shut out the sunlight from me. I looked up and +was startled to see Nyedzviedz standing in the door-way. + +"You here!" I exclaimed. "Have you, too, been relegated to the Viszpa +Ogrod because of the softened heart? Or have you come here to hide +from an enemy?--Which?" + +"Neither, my good Baran," answered the leader. "I am not come to stop +in this happy valley, but to fetch you away from it. We need you in +the cavern. We cannot get on without you. We are planning a most +important expedition, and need your assistance. A rich caravan is on +the road to Mohilow; it is made up of Russian, Turkish and Jew +traders, and is accompanied by a military escort. We propose to +capture this caravan, and take possession of all the treasure and +valuables, after which, we shall proceed to Berdiczov and loot the +monastery. As the monastery is strongly fortified, and garrisoned, we +shall have to batter down the walls; therefore we must take you with +us, as you are the only one who understands how to handle our field +gun. I shall appoint you second in command of the expedition." + +Madus had come from the kitchen while her father was speaking. She was +not in the least glad to see him; on the contrary, she greeted him +with a frown, and demanded angrily: + +"Why do you try to lure my gentle-hearted Baran away from me? He does +not need your stolen treasure. He has all he wants here in his humble +home. You buried us here--we are dead to you, therefore leave us here +in peace." + +To which Nyedzviedz made answer by saying: "Baran, does the father or +the husband control the wife? If you, the husband, don't know how to +control your wife, I, her father, will show you what to do with the +woman who speaks when she is not spoken to." + +I well knew what a hasty temper was the leader's, and persuaded Madus +to come with me to the kitchen, where I gently argued away her +opposition to my leaving home. I assured her it would be for our good; +that when I had got together enough money to keep us in comfort I +should return, and find a way to escape with her from the valley to +some large city, where we should be safe from the haidemaken, and +where she might sweep the dusty streets with a long-tailed silk gown, +and be addressed as "gracious lady." + +This had the desired effect. She wept bitterly; but she bade me go +with her father. When I turned to cast a last look into the valley, +before we entered the rock-corridor, I could see my poor little wife's +red kerchief still gleaming in the doorway of our cottage. Her +favorite dove had flown after me to the entrance of the corridor; +there it settled down on my shoulder and began to coo into my ear. I +had to fling it away from me quite forcibly in order to frighten it +back to its mistress. My former comrades greeted me with loud cries of +welcome, and celebrated my return by a tremendous drinking-bout. + +When, after my long abstention from it, I again tasted wine, I forgot +the Viszpa Ogrod and everything connected with it--as one will, when +awake, forget even the most enchanting dreams. + +It is a well-known fact that the wine-drinker who abstains for a long +period from his favorite beverage, then yields again to the +temptation, becomes a more inveterate drunkard than before he resisted +the fascinations of the cup. The haidemaken drank only Tokay; they +made a point of selecting from the cellars of the prelates, and +magnates whom they plundered, only the best vintages. + +The following night we set out for Mohilow, a twelve days' journey. + +I am almost willing to wager that not a soul, in the region to which +we were going, really believed such a band of robbers as the +haidemaken was in existence--or, if it had ever been heard of, the +tales of its marvelous exploits were looked upon as kindred to the +fables repeated in the nursery. + +As I said before, the band always traveled by night. During the day we +rested, hidden in a dense forest, or in an uninhabited valley. + +We never entered a village to procure food, but carried with us +rations of dried meat, varying our diet with mushrooms collected on +the way. + +On learning definitely from the scouts we had sent to reconnoiter that +the caravan was expected to reach Mohilow on a certain day, we +concealed ourselves in a swampy thicket by the side of the road over +which it would have to pass. Here we were forced to wait two days, +during which our meat gave out, and we had to eat raw frogs and birds' +eggs. The peasant carts passing along the road, with pretzels, smoked +sausages, cheese, mead and wine for the market at Mohilow, were not +molested by the hungry robbers, who would only have needed to stretch +out their hands to secure the good things for which they languished. +But the leader would not allow it. + +"We are here to fight, not feast," he said. + +Our patience was well nigh at an end, when, one day, the sound of a +trumpet and drum announced the approach of the caravan. + +On mules, on horses, camels, and ox-carts, came the +fifteen-hundred-odd human souls, their escort, a valiant company of +soldiers in coats of mail, and helmets, and armed with halberds, and +muskets. It was a motly crowd, outnumbering our band in souls; but +inferior to us in strength. + +When, at a preconcerted signal, our men dashed from the thicket, the +entire caravan fell into confusion. The soldiers fired off their +muskets, heedless where they aimed; we, on the other hand, sent our +shots where they would prove most effective. + +A frightful tumult ensued--it was: save himself who can; while the +heavily laden carts and vans were left behind. + +I must admit that the haidemaken behaved atrociously. Never, in all my +experience on the battlefield, did I witness such a scene of carnage. +It made me ill; I became so faint with horror and disgust I sank +unconscious to the ground. + +When I came to my senses, I saw a Turkish merchant hobbling on a +crutch toward me. He was old, and seemed to have been seriously +wounded, for he was covered with blood. He came straight toward me, +and, sinking to the ground by my side, said in a pleading tone: "My +son, I beg you, take my yataghan, and cut off my head." + +Your honors may believe that I was startled by so singular a request. + +"I shan't do any such thing!" I replied promptly, and with decision. + +"Pray do," he urged. "Cut off my head without further parley, and you +shall have this koltuk-dengenegi," which is Turkish for "beggar's +staff." + +"No, Baba," I returned, with the same decision as before. "I can't cut +off your head, for I have no grudge against you. I am not an +assassin--though I do belong to the haidemaken; I was forced into +this band, much as Pilate was thrust into the _credo_--against his +will, I'll warrant!" + +"Your countenance tells me, my son, that you are better than your +comrades," said the old Turk. "For that reason I ventured to ask a +favor of you. Come, hesitate no longer to perform the deed of mercy +for which you shall be handsomely rewarded. Decapitate this old body; +it will not be assassination; one can murder only a living being--so +says the Koran, the only truthful book on earth--and I cannot strictly +be called a living being. I have a deadly wound in the abdomen, and am +bound to die sooner or later. Besides, I am prepared and desire to +die. I can't flee any farther; and if I fall into the hands of your +cruel comrades I shall be horribly tortured. Therefore, I beg you to +release me from further suffering; cut off my head with this beautiful +yataghan, which shall also be yours." + +But, not even then could I bring myself to grant his prayer, and +relieve him of his sufferings and his bald head. + +"Leave me, Baba," I exclaimed impatiently. "If you want to get rid of +your head, cut it off yourself with that beautiful yataghan; or else, +hang yourself on one of those beautiful trees over yonder." + +To this the old Turk responded with pious mien: "That I dare not do, +my son. The Koran--the only truthful book on earth--says, there are +seven hells: one underneath the other, and each one more terrible than +the one above it. The first hell is for true believers, like myself; +the second is for Christians; the seventh is for the Atheists. The +fourth, Morhut, is for those persons who commit suicide. Were I to +take my own life, I should have to descend to the fourth hell, where, +as well as in every one of the three hells above it, I should be +obliged to remain three-hundred and thirty-three years before I should +be permitted to enter paradise. Whereas, if I should lose my life at +the hands of an unbeliever like yourself, I should--so says the Koran, +the only truthful book on earth--go straightway to paradise." + +And still I hesitated; though it seemed but kindness to grant the old +Turk's request, and send him speeding straightway into paradise. But, +I remembered that our Bible (really the only truthful book on earth) +says: "Thou shalt not kill;" and thrust the importunate old fellow +away from me. + +But he renewed his pleading with increased urgency: "See, my son, I +will give you this koltuk-dengenegi--" "Of what use would that crutch +be to me?" I interrupted. + +"If you will screw off the top you will see that the crutch is filled +with gold pieces," he replied; and to prove that he spoke the truth, +he unscrewed the shoulder rest and shook several gold coins into the +palm of his hand. + +The yellow metal dazzled my eyes: "The crutch would hold a good many +coins," I said to myself, to which added the Turk's pleading voice: + +"You shall have it all, my son, if you will but grant my prayer." + +And still I hesitated. + +"I can't do it, Baba," I said. "Even if you gave me the crutch, I +should not be allowed to keep the gold. No member of our band is +allowed to keep for his own use alone any valuables that may come into +his possession. Everything must be placed at once in the common +treasury for the use of the entire band--and woe to the haidemak who +would dare to keep for himself even a single Polish groschen! So, you +see, Baba, your gold would be of no use to me." + +"Listen to me, my son," again urged the wounded Turk, who was growing +visibly weaker; "you are young; I can see that this wild life is not +suited to you. If you had my gold, you could escape to Wallachia, buy +an estate--a castle--serfs, and marry. Perhaps you already have a +sweetheart--if so, why shouldn't you live in happiness with her, +instead of skulking about in caves and swamps like a wild animal?" + +This suggestion made me thoughtful. It brought back to my mind my dear +good Madus. Ah! if only I might fly with her, far away, to some region +where she might become a respected lady. If I had the Turk's gold! I +could easily keep it secreted in the crutch. Some day, when the +haidemaken were away on an expedition, I could easily stupefy the few +members of the band remaining in the cavern by drugging their mead +with Venice treacle; and when they were sound asleep I could fetch my +Madus from the Viszpa Ogrod and with her escape to a far away land. + +This thought impressed itself so deeply on my mind--it became so +alluring that, unconsciously, my hand went out toward the beautiful +yataghan. + +"If I thought I could keep the gold hidden!" I said, unconscious that +I had given voice to the thought. + +"That will be easy enough; just leave it in the crutch," promptly +responded the Turk. "When you join your comrades make believe to have +taken cold in the swamp yonder, say that the muscles of your leg have +contracted and made you lame. That will not only give you an excuse to +use the crutch, but it will most likely get your discharge; a hobbling +cripple is not a desirable comrade in a band of robbers." + +Without waiting to see how I might take his suggestion, the Turk +proceeded at once to show me how to bandage my left leg, so that it +could not be straightened at the knee; how to keep my ankle against +the crutch, and hobble along on the right leg. I thought of Madus, for +whom I would have hobbled on one leg to Jerusalem, and let him show me +how to transform myself to a cripple. + +"Now, my son," he said, when he had delivered his instructions, "take +my yataghan, my beautiful yataghan, and cut off my head--only don't +hack it off as a butcher would with a cleaver. Swing the yataghan, +thus, in a half-circle--easily, gracefully, as you would the bow of a +violin. I will kneel here at your feet, bend forward, thus; then do +you strike just here: between these two segments of the vertebrae. Be +sure to keep firm hold on the handle to prevent the blade from +slipping--" + +He gave me so many directions, kept on talking so long that Satan, who +is ever at one's elbow, gave my arm a sudden thrust, and, before I +knew what had happened, a body minus a head lay at my feet, while a +head minus a body was rolling down the hill-- + +"_Homicidium!_" dictated the chair to the notary. To this the prince +appended: + +"Under extenuating circumstances. We must not ignore the fact that the +deed was committed at the urgent request of the decapitated--under +approval of the Koran, and instigated, I might say, forced, to the act +by the wicked one at the perpetrator's elbow." + +"It was killing a human being, all the same!" said Hugo, "and I had +cause soon afterward to repent most bitterly what I had done. After I +had committed the bloody deed I set out to overtake my comrades. They +had secured much valuable booty which they were carrying on their +backs. When I came up with them, hobbling on one leg and leaning on my +crutch, they broke into loud laughter: + +"What the devil is the matter with you?" queried the leader. + +"I am all used up!" I groaned. "I killed an old Turk, whose lame leg +prevented him from running away with the rest of them; and before he +gave up the ghost he cursed me and prayed that I might be compelled to +hobble along on a crutch for the rest of my life. He had hardly got +the words out of his throat before my leg became as you see it, and I +can't straighten it." + +"That comes of standing in the swamp--cold water will affect +effeminate fellows like you in that way," observed Nyedzviedz. "But +don't worry, we have among us one who understands how to cure such +maladies. Ho, there! Przepiorka, come hither." + +I was frightened, I can tell you! If my leg were examined it would be +found to be in a sound and healthy condition. But there was no help +for it--I could not escape an examination. So I drew up the calf of +the leg so tightly against the lower part of the thigh that +Przepiorka, after he had tried several times in vain to straighten it +pronounced it permanently crippled. + +On hearing this decision, I forgot my role and would have straightened +the leg to convince myself that it could be done; but, what was my +consternation and alarm to find that I was unable to do it. The +affliction I had pretended had come upon me in earnest! God had +punished me. I was a miserable cripple, unable to take a single step +without the koltuk-dengenegi. + +How I cursed him who had left it to me in legacy! + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE BERDICZOV MONASTERY. + + +"Don't worry," said Nyedzviedz again, when he saw my distress. "Don't +worry! You can still be of great service to us, even if you are lame. +We have long wanted to add to our number just such a cripple." + +Then he summoned a sturdy, broad-shouldered robber and bade him take +me on his back and in this fashion I journeyed with the band, the +stronger members taking turns in carrying me. + +When we arrived at Oezakover forest, where we halted to rest, the +leader said to me: + +"You will leave us here, Baran, and hobble to Berdiczov as best you +can. I want you to spy out the situation there for us and get all the +information you can. Then you will return to the cavern and on the +news you bring will depend our plans of attack; I propose to capture +the monastery." + +The extraordinary success of the Mohilow expedition had made our +leader so arrogant that, because he had, with three-hundred men +vanquished two-thousand, half of whom were armed, he now aspired to +nothing of less importance than a garrisoned castle. + +And the wedge with which he proposed to force an entrance was my +crippled leg! + +From near and far--from distant lands even, all manner of crippled +folk, and invalids afflicted with divers maladies, journeyed to +Berdiczov in search of healing. The indigent limped and hobbled on +crutches to the miracle-working spot; the well-to-do rode on mules; +the peasant was trundled in a barrow by his sturdy spouse; the +tradesman travelled in his two-wheeled ox-cart; and the magnate was +borne in his sedan-chair by his servants. + +Berdiczov monastery was the property of the Premonstrant monks. It +stood on an elevation in the center of a charming valley. It was +strongly fortified, and surrounded by thick walls, which were +protected outside by a deep moat and palisades. + +A thermal spring at the foot of the hill fed the moat and turned the +wheels of a grist mill. The only entrance to the monastery was over a +narrow drawbridge that spanned the moat at its deepest part. The +multitude of visitors to the healing spring found lodgings in the +little village outside the walls of the monastery; and only one +hundred worshippers at a time were permitted to enter the chapel +inside the gates. If the crowd gathered at the drawbridge at the hour +for services exceeded that number then mass was celebrated all day +long, one hundred of the faithful entering at one door, as the hundred +that had worshipped passed out by the other. Day and night guards +armed to the teeth patrolled the walls and the court-yard; and no +visitor was allowed to enter with weapons of any sort, for enormous +wealth lay heaped within the walls of the monastery. When I saw the +heaps on heaps of valuables in the treasure-chamber, I no longer +wondered that Nyedzviedz desired to possess it. There was a massive +altar of pure silver, the gift of King Stanislaus; golden alms basins, +engraved with the name and history of the donor, Count Leszinsky; +images of saints with mosaics of priceless gems; golden chalices; +shrines glittering with rubies and diamonds; gemmed thuribles; antique +crowns which had once adorned crania twice the size of the heads of +our day; costly reliquaries; and, amid all this splendor, countless +numbers of crutches and staves, the votive offerings of the afflicted +who had found healing in the waters of the spring. + +The crutches and staves were the first objects to attract my eye, and +I said to myself: "How gladly would I add to this collection the old +Turk's koltuk-dengenegi with all its gold, could I but find healing +for my crippled leg." + +When the choral began, I can't describe the feeling which took +possession of me as I listened to the beautiful melody. I had no +thought then for the treasures of gold and silver--no glance for +anything but the image of the saint above the altar. I could not +escape from the reproachful eyes it fixed on me. I felt that it was +reading all the wicked thoughts in my breast. But, as I listened to +the beautiful music, all the evil intentions I had brought with me to +the monastery faded from my heart; and when the last sounds died away, +there was not, in all the devout company, a more bitterly repentant +wretch than I. When the service was concluded, the worshippers passed +in front of the prior to receive his benediction. The prior was a +venerable saint with a flowing white beard; his countenance expressed +infinite goodness and benevolence. + +We had been told not to offer any gifts to the monks on entering the +monastery; but to leave whatever we might think fit to bestow, on +departing. + +The venerable prior dispensed his blessing to all alike. He did not +inquire if the recipient were a believer, or a heretic. Christians, +Jews, Mohammedans, all alike, received the godly man's benediction. + +I quitted the chapel wholly repentant. I had completely forgotten the +errand on which I had been sent. Not once did it occur to me that I +was there as a spy, to examine the walls, the mortars, to learn the +strength of the garrison. + +I took my place in the procession of cripples, and hobbled along with +them, mumbling the prayers prescribed for us. + +When we arrived at the miracle-working spring, I and my +fellow-sufferers were undressed and placed on rafts in the water--rich +and poor alike, no distinction was made between the magnate and the +beggar. + +I can't say exactly how long I remained in the water; but when I came +out, the crook had left my leg, it was straight and sound as before I +came into possession of the old Turk's crutch. + +"Miraculum! Miraculum!" shouted the entire company; while I wept like +a little child, for joy and gratitude. + +With my crutch over my shoulder, instead of under it I returned to the +prior, who received me with a benignant smile. + +I knelt at his feet and asked him to receive my confession. I told him +every thing; that I was there at the behest of the haidemaken leader +to spy out the strength of the fortifications and the garrison; that +the band was preparing to assault the monastery, so soon as they +should hear from me; that they intended to bring with them a powerful +field-gun, with which to force a breach in the walls through which the +four-hundred fearless robbers would enter and overpower the soldiery. +When I had concluded, and the prior had given me absolution, he said: + +"Now, my son, go back to those who sent you here and tell them what +you have learned. Let them come with their field-gun, and do you come +with them. When you are ordered to bombard the walls, do you obey--" + +"What? father;" I interrupted in astonishment. "You advise me to do +that?" + +"Yes. On the bombardier depends the effect of the bombardment! It +rests with him to aim well, or ill! Better you at the gun than +another!" + +I understood the sagacious reply, and said: + +"I shall take good care not to aim well, father." + +"On you, my son, will it depend that the relief troops I shall send +for reach here in time to save us from the robbers." + +"And you may rest assured, father, that I shall know how to prolong +the siege!" + +As a pledge that I would keep faith with him I gave him my crutch, +gratitude also prompting the gift, for, not even a gold-filled crutch +is too great a price to pay for a sound leg! + +"I will keep it for you, my son," said the benevolent sage. "If you +succeed in averting the danger which threatens us you shall have the +crutch back, and something in addition--something of more value than +gold: aid to reform. Take this image of the Holy Virgin to your wife +with my blessing." + +A changed man at heart, I returned to the cavern, where, however, I +was forced again to tell untruths, in order to deceive the robbers. +But it was for a good cause. + +My comrades received me with gratulatory shouts when they saw me +walking on two healthy legs. I told them I had been healed by +magic--by the incantations of a witch, and they believed me! Had I +told the truth, and that I had received the blessing of the prior, it +would have made them suspicious. + +We now held a council of war, at which I delivered my report. I knew +from experience that, to gain credence for a lie, one must invest it +with a modicum of truth. Therefore, I described, without deviating one +iota from the truth, the treasures I had seen, and even added to +them--as, for instance: I said there were barrels filled with gold and +silver, which made the robbers' mouths water. Nyedzviedz was full of +ambitious plans. He intended, so soon as he got money enough, to +combine under his leadership all the predatory bands in the Carpathian +region, and with them invade and plunder the wealthy Galician cities, +castles, and monasteries. He felt confident that the common people +would be glad to aid in plundering the prelates and nobles. + +I described the fortifications of Berdiczov monastery as almost +impregnable, when the truth was, that I could, with the culverin, have +battered down the walls the first day while the rusty old mortars +would do little damage among the beleaguerers. I ascribed to the prior +the strategic talents of a field-marshall. My description of the moat, +with the formidable palisades concealed under the water, quite +discouraged the robbers from the plan they had made to swim across it, +and storm the walls. + +Indeed, I told such astounding tales about the powder mines under the +walls and moat, that their confidence in me became absolute when I +sketched my plan of assault. I proposed to batter the fortifications +in such a manner, that the _debris_ would fall into and fill up the +moat, which would enable us to cross it without injury, and enter +through the breaches I had made in the walls. I won the leader's favor +and approval to such an extent that he committed the entire conduct of +the important expedition into my hands. + +At the conclusion of the council, I asked as a special favor to be +allowed to spend a day with my beloved Madus before we set out on the +expedition. + +Nyedzviedz at first was unwilling to consent. "I know," he said, "just +how women-folk are. It is best for a soldier to have nothing to do +with them. Their tears are sure to melt a soft heart." + +But I persisted in my request, and at last received permission to +visit the Viszpa Ogrod. + +It was a beautiful autumn afternoon when I descended the steep path to +the secluded valley. While yet some distance from our little cottage, +I heard my Madus singing sweetly--I can hear her now, and see her as +she came joyfully to meet me. + +How happy she was! + +The poor child believed I had come to stop, and as I did not want to +cloud her joy, I put off until the moment of my departure, telling her +that I was again to accompany her father on a distant expedition. + +One day at least I would spend happily. So, I let my Madus tell me all +that had happened in the valley during my absence; I heard also how +much dried fruit, how many smoked trout, how many cheeses, she had in +store for the winter; how many yards of beautiful linen she had woven +from the flax she had cultivated with her own hands. + +Last of all, she exhibited, with blushing cheeks, her little +treasures: cunning little caps, and jackets, at sight of which my +heart leapt for joy in my bosom. She confided to me in a whisper that, +when Christmas should arrive, her Bethlehem crib would have received +its occupant. + +Oh, how gladly would I have remained with her! But it could not be. I +had more ambitious plans for her. I was bent on escaping with her to +the great world, where she should--as she deserved--become a fine +lady. + +After she had told me everything about herself, she asked me to relate +what I had done while absent. When I told her how successful the +expedition had proved, I found that the Madus who tended her doves +and made cheeses in the Viszpa Ogrod, was vastly different from the +Madus who had once accompanied the haidemaken expeditions. She grew +pale with horror when I described the slaughter of the caravan; and +the occurrence which resulted in my becoming the inheritor of the old +Turk's crutch, and a lame leg. She became more composed, however, when +I told her about the marvelous cure at the healing spring; and quite +recovered her composure when I gave her the image of the Holy Virgin +the prior had sent her. Ah me! that image was her death, as well as +her salvation. + +The next morning I told her I had to leave her again. She sought with +tears and caresses to dissuade me from going. She clasped her arms +around my neck, then flung herself at my feet, and clasped my +knees--she seemed unable to control her wild despair. + +I have often thought since that the poor child had a presentiment she +would never again behold me in this life. + +I sought in vain to comfort her; in vain I assured her that I would +never leave her again after I returned from this expedition, from +which I hoped to secure what would enable me to establish a home for +her in some large city. She was inconsolable. + +She accompanied me to the entrance to the rock-corridor, and would +have gone clear to the cavern, had not her father met us just as we +were entering the passage. He frightened her by saying it would be +unsafe to venture among the haidemaken in her condition, as all +robbers entertained the superstitious belief that the fourth finger +from the hand of an unborn babe rendered the possessor invulnerable to +bullet and sword. + +Nyedzviedz would not even allow a last embrace, but thrust us roughly +apart; and forced me to precede him into the corridor. I kept looking +back from time to time, so long as the entrance remained in sight. My +Madus stood, looking after me, in the circular opening of the rocky +wall; she seemed like a saint encompassed by a halo of light, and as +the corridor grew darker and more gloomy the radiant image at my back +increased in brilliance until a sudden turn hid the beautiful vision +from my sight. + +That same evening we set out for Berdiczov--four-hundred haidemaken, +with the culverin. + + +CHRISTMAS. + +It was early Autumn when we began the siege, which I conducted in so +skillful--from my point of view!--a manner, that December found us +still outside the walls of the monastery. Three times I changed the +position of our assaulting forces; but took good care every time to +select a point far enough from the walls to prevent our shots from +damaging them to any considerable extent. + +Nyedzviedz kept urging me to a nearer approach: he said we were so +distant, that the cannon-balls from the fortifications had to roll +over the ground to reach our lines. So, one day, after he had examined +the ground, and discovered what he believed to be a more advantageous +position, I was forced, in order not to rouse his suspicions, to +comply with his request. While superintending the throwing up of +intrenchments the first night I managed to secrete under the +earth-works a keg of powder, and in the morning I told the leader that +extreme caution would be necessary, now that we were so much nearer to +the fortifications, as the monks were having powder-mines laid under +our breast-works. I had heard peculiar noises during the night, I told +him, and, suspecting what was being done, I had scattered a few peas +on the head of a drum standing on the ground. The lively dancing of +the peas had convinced me that my suspicions were correct. + +But the leader was incredulous. He decided to take observations for +himself; and would spend the following night in the trenches, when he +could also watch the result of our bombardment. This would make it +impossible for me to carry out my plans for exploding the keg of +powder hidden in the breast-works. But, I was not to be outdone. I +happened to remember an expedient I had once employed with success, +and resorted to it again: I drew the fuse through a long reed, one end +of which I thrust into the keg. + +I had to be very cautious; for Nyedzviedz had a nose that could smell +a match cord at long range; but with the fuse inside the reed, I could +prevent the fumes from getting into the range of his olfactor. + +The powder exploded at the right moment, just when the leader was +bending eagerly over the breast-work to peer after a bomb. After the +smoke and dust cleared away, I drew him from under the heap of earth, +from which only his legs protruded. He had not been injured in the +least, but all desire to assault the enemy at so close a range had +fled, and I was allowed to return to our former position, on the brow +of a hill, a considerable distance farther from the fortifications. + +I consoled the dissatisfied haidemaken with the assurance that, when +the real cold weather of winter should set in, the moat would freeze +over; then it would be an easy matter to storm the walls at close +range. I did not think it necessary to tell them that the warm spring +would prevent the water in the moat from freezing. In the meantime +came Christmas--an anxiously longed-for day in many respects. With the +dawn of Christmas morning came a furious snow-storm, the north wind +flinging down on us such masses of flakes that it was impossible to +see ten steps away. + +It was just the sort of weather I had calculated on. The bombardment +had to cease, as the monastery was completely hidden from view behind +the veil of snow. The haidemaken retired to their tents, and amused +themselves, gaming with dice and cards, for what stakes do you +imagine? They had no money, remember! Why, the winner paid, and the +loser received, a box on the ear! I hadn't any fondness for the game +myself; but my comrades seemed to enjoy it hugely. + +While gaming, drinking, cursing, were going on in the other tents, I +sat in my own, alone, and silent, pondering over my past years. I +recalled the different anniversaries of the blessed day, beginning +with the first I could remember when, held in my mother's arms, I +removed from the Christmas-tree my first ginger-bread doll, which I +was loath to eat because of its beautiful golden hue. + +Then, my thoughts turned to the humble cot in the Viszpa Ogrod; and I +wondered, with a strange trembling in my bosom, if the little +Bethlehem crib, my Madus had prepared for the reception of a precious +occupant, now held its treasure. + +The monastery bells were ringing for the Christmas service; on the +bastion a long procession of monks with innumerable lamps was moving +toward the chapel. + +The wind was driving the clouds across the sky, and hundreds of +witch-forms rioted above the camp, in the faint light which came from +a mist-veiled moon. + +The snow-fall had ceased; only the wind, which was scattering the +storm-clouds, still swept with unabated vigor across the plain, +packing the fine snow more compactly together. + +Suddenly, amid the noise of carousing and shouting which came from the +neighboring tents, I heard a sound that made me drop quickly to my +knees, and lay my ear close to the ground. At last! At last! They were +coming! I could hear distinctly the hoof-beats, when they crossed the +rocky road from which the wind had swept the snow. Then, the sound +ceased--they were come to the plain where the snow muffled the noise +of the hoofs. Duke Visznovieczky's dragoons were approaching at a +brisk trot to the assistance of Berdiczov monastery. + +I did not wait for them to come up. In the dark all cows are black! I +said to myself: "It will be useless to try to convince the dragoon +who raises his sword against me that I am this one, and not the other +one!" So I wrapped myself in my mantle, slipped from the tent, and ran +fleetly toward the monastery. + +When I paused to look back, after the relief troop had begun the +attack on the robber camp, I saw the witch-dance I had seen earlier, +it had descended to the earth, and with it was joined a tumult of +demons; of black forms, and white, darting hither and thither; of +furious sword cuts; frenzied cries; mad flight, and swift pursuit! + +The early morning assault was successful. The dragoons routed the +haidemaken without a shot. What became of my comrades I cannot say, +for I continued on my way to the monastery, where I shouted myself +hoarse before the draw-bridge was lowered to admit me. + +Early mass had just been concluded. The monks with their tall +candlesticks, chanting a psalm of praise, led the procession returning +from the chapel; the cripples hobbling in the rear, hummed the +antiphony. But, hei! didn't the devout company break ranks quickly +when I appeared before them with the announcement: + +"Duke Visznovieczky's dragoons are come, and have attacked the +haidemaken camp!" + +The psalm-singing ceased at once; and, instead, everybody was +shouting: "To arms! To arms!" + +Even the canopy-bearers left the prior in the middle of the +court-yard, and ran to fetch their arms; while the cripples hopped +about on one leg and brandished their crutches and staves. + +By this time we could see that the beleaguerers were fleeing before +the dragoons in every direction. The valiant burgers who, at the +beginning of the siege, had taken refuge in the monastery, could now +no longer repress their heroic feelings. Seizing whatever would serve +as a weapon, the brave fellows dashed across the draw-bridge and sped +toward the field of battle; the reverend fathers followed at a more +dignified pace; the cripples brought up the rear, and assisted the +worthy burgers to complete the work of destruction begun by the +dragoons, by cutting off the feet of those haidemaken who had already +been decapitated. + +Whether Nyedzviedz had succeeded in escaping the fate of many of his +comrades, I could not learn then; nor did I care! I was too thankful +that I had been spared from destruction and delivered from the clutch +of the robber-band. Therewith ended my career as a haidemak. + +The prisoner here paused in his confession, feeling that he, as well +as the court, needed a rest. + +"I am inclined to believe," observed the prince, "that the accused +rehabilitated himself through his valiant act. So much as he sinned, +so much he made good! He was healed by a miracle of God; therefore, it +behooves us earthly judges to consider well before we pass sentence +where the Heavenly Judge granted absolution." + +To this the chair, with obvious irritation, made reply: "If your +highness intends to permit this malefactor to extenuate, in a like +manner, all the rest of his misdeeds, when he gets to the end of the +list we shall feel that he deserves canonization instead of +punishment." + + + + +PART III. + +IN THE SERVICE OF THE DUKE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +MALACHI. + + +The next day the prisoner continued his confession: + +My experience at Berdiczov monastery, my deliverance from destruction, +as well as the miraculous restoration of my crippled limb, decided me +to adopt the faith of the holy brotherhood. + +Their solemn ceremonies, their elevating devotions, their piety, made +a deep impression on me; but the most comforting to me of all their +rites was that of the confessional. + +It was such a comfort to unbosom myself to one in whom I could trust +implicitly; to confide in him all the secrets that tortured my dreams +by night, and my thoughts by day. And then, to receive absolution--to +get back, as it were, the bond I had given to Satan! + +One day was not long enough for all I had to tell. I could have spent +every day of the week in the confessional, pouring into the ear of the +good Father Agapitus the sins which burdened my conscience. And one +day I confessed, too, that I was becoming weary of the life in the +monastery, where there was nothing to do but tend to the sick all day +long; and that I wanted to go back to the world--if not to my former +sinful life. + +After I had confessed, I ventured to ask the worthy father to +recommend me to some Polish noble, with whom I should have little work +and much amusement. There were many such places, I said, where the +services of a man of my stamp were required. + +"My dear son," returned the worthy father, "I cannot recommend you to +a Christian man of the world, for, although I could tell him that you +are a pious confrater now, I could not say that you have always been +honest. I know just the contrary, and I cannot give false witness. But +I will do what I can for you. Here is the crutch you left with us--the +gold is still in it. Take it, garb yourself in beggar raiment, and +limp to Lemberg, where lives a Master Malachi in the Jewish quarter of +the city. You need only to inquire for him, and you will be directed +to his house. He is a wicked man, in league with Satan. He deserves to +have been sent to the scaffold long ago--and he will get there should +the Inquisition be established. Malachi is the man for your needs. +Tell him what you require, he will understand you--especially if you +tell him what your crutch contains!" + +I could understand clearly that a pious man like Father Agapitus could +do nothing for me--so notorious a sinner! He could not give me a +letter of recommendation, with false dates; it was enough if he +directed me where to find an accomplished counterfeiter, who could +supply my wants. So, I kissed his hand in gratitude; bade him +farewell, and, with my crutch under my shoulder, set out for Lemberg, +begging my way so that no one should suspect that I carried in my +crutch the wherewith to pay for food and lodging. + +When I arrived in Lemberg I repaired at once to the Jews' quarter, +where the streets are so narrow two wagons cannot pass one another. +Directly I entered the principal thoroughfare, which seemed a +veritable rag-fair from one end to the other, I was surrounded by a +swarm of noisy children. + +I took from my pocket a denarius, held it up before them, and said I +would give it to the lad who would conduct me to the house of Malachi, +whereupon the youngsters began to quarrel as to which of them should +become the possessor of the coin. The largest scamp among them, who +succeeded by force of his superior size and strength to vanquish his +fellows, offered himself as guide. + +He led me a pretty chase, through numerous byways and alleys, where +there was hardly room for two persons to pass, to a shop in front of +which was sitting an aged dame, with her cap drawn down to her +eyebrows. + +Said my guide, after I had placed the denarius in his hand: + +"This woman knows where Malachi lives--she will tell you;" and before +I could stop him, the little rascal was off down the street as fast +as his legs could carry him. + +I turned to the crone, who kept nodding her old head as if she were +assenting to anything I might say to her, took from my pocket a +_Marien-groschen_, and holding it toward her, said: + +"Here, mother, this pretty coin shall be yours if you will direct me +to Malachi's house." + +She nodded--as much as to say "very good;" rose from her chair, +shuffled into the shop, where she filled a small vial with red Polish +brandy. This she handed to me with one hand, at the same time +extending the other for the money. + +"I don't want brandy--I want to know where Malachi lives?" I shouted +at the top of my voice. + +The dame trotted back into the shop and brought a bottle of green +Russian brandy. + +The little scamp had left me to deal with a deaf woman! When I bawled +into her ear for the third time the name of Malachi, she fetched from +the shop a packet of insect powder which she offered in exchange for +the _Marien-groschen_. + +Then I bethought me of an expedient which is usually successful in +like cases: I took from my pocket a crown and held it toward the dame. +This cure for deafness proved effective. + +"Oh, you want to find Malachi?" she said in a cautious whisper, +nodding understandingly. "Follow me." + +She closed and locked the shop-door, opened a little gate at the +corner of the house, led me across a vegetable garden hung with +soiled clothes; across a second; thence through a narrow passage, +between two old buildings, into a wood-shed; from there into a cellar; +then over a swinging bridge across an ill-smelling canal; and, lastly, +through a long, seemingly interminable corridor, at the end of which +she knocked with her staff at a wooden door, at the same time +whispering in my ear, and taking the crown from my hand: + +"I can't tell you where Malachi lives; but I have brought you to the +thaumaturgus, who knows everything; he will tell you where to find +Malachi." + +The door opened, and I saw before me a venerable man with silvery hair +and beard. He was blind. His tall form was enveloped in a black silk +robe girt about the waist by an oriental sash. From his garb, I +concluded that a coin of greater value would be necessary to procure +the information I desired. + +"Are you the man who knows everything?" I inquired. + +The old gentleman was not in the least chary of words. With great +readiness he declared that he understood the language of the birds of +the air; the speech of the beasts of the field; that he could converse +with dragons; could discover subterranean springs; could tell any man +whether or no he was the son of his father; could even understand the +tongue in which demons spake-- + +"But," I interrupted, "I don't want to know any of these things. If +you will tell me where Malachi lives, I will pay for the information." + +"Ah, my son!" he responded, turning his sightless eyes heavenward; +"that is a difficult question to answer. There are in this world as +many Malachis as there are flowers in the field, and stars in the sky. +There are seventy-seven in this very city; a Malachi Mizraim; a +Malachi Meschugge; a Malachi Choschen; Malachi Pinkas; Malachi +Honnowas--How do I know which Malachi you want?" + +"I want the one who is a--counterfeiter," I answered, with some +hesitation. + +"Ah, my son!" again ejaculated the venerable sage, shaking his head +sadly, "how sorry I am to hear that you are on such evil ways! All the +Malachis with whom I have to do are honest, God-fearing men." + +I saw plainly that I should have to assist the old gentleman's memory; +I pressed a gold coin into his palm. He turned it over and over in his +fingers; tested it in various ways; and, after convincing himself that +it was genuine, he delivered this apothegmatic solution of the riddle: + +"My son, he whom you seek, I cannot find. I have never seen him--I am +blind. We will consult the Miracle." + +He stepped back into the room, to the table, where he groped about +with his hands among the different objects, until he found a long +steel needle. This he thrust between the leaves of a heavy book lying +on the table, opened it, and placing his forefinger at the point of +the needle, where it rested on the page, said, in a prophetic tone: + +"He whom the Miracle designates is Ben Malachi Peixoto, the +Portuguese--not I, but the Miracle says so." + +"And where shall I find this Portuguese?" I asked. + +"When you go from the door of my dwelling, you will find his directly +opposite. Knock twice, then once, then twice again, and you will be +admitted. And now, my son, go your way in peace!" + +A stocky youth, with a candle, conducted me down a dark stairway, +opened the door, and I found myself in the same street from which I +had started on my quest. Malachi's house was the first one on the +corner. I had been led a tramp, for half a day, hither and thither, up +and down, through the entire Ghetto, to reach the first house in it! + +I knocked on the door as I had been directed; it was opened by a +quince-colored lad. I cannot say for certain whether it was a lad or a +lass, I think, though, it was a lad. I could not understand the +language he spoke--indeed, I don't believe it was a language at all! +He conducted me up a creaking staircase, into a darkened room, in the +corner of which crouched a human form with its back to the door. He +did not turn at my entrance, but kept his face turned from me all the +time I was in the room. + +In front of him was a mirror in which he could see my reflection. The +fleeting glimpse I caught of his face in the glass, told me that the +mysterious creature had no beard; his face was quite smooth, which I +believe is the fashion among Portuguese Jews; it had been embrocated +with orpiment, which eats off the hair of the beard--a Mosaic law +prohibiting the use of metal to remove hair from the face. + +"Is Malachi at home?" I inquired. + +"Malachi is at home; what do you want of him?" + +The man spoke in the third person, so that I could not have sworn that +he to whom I addressed my inquiries was Malachi or not. + +"I will tell you my errand as briefly as possible," said I. "I want to +secure a position in the household of Duke Visznovieczky, and require +a patent of nobility to certify to my noble birth. I also want an +academic testimonial; a certificate of baptism and confirmation in the +Roman Catholic Church; and, lastly, I want a letter of recommendation +from some grand duke or other, which testifies to my erudition, and +skill in all the sciences, as well as to my excellent character. Of +course I don't expect you to furnish me with all these documents for +nothing. I am willing to pay your price for them. How much do you +ask?" + +The man replied to my reflection in the mirror: "Malachi's answer to +your insolent request is: You have applied to the wrong person. +Malachi does not meddle with such criminal doings. Moreover, Malachi +has nothing whatever to do with ragged beggars like yourself. If you +desire to become such a knight as you describe, and have the money to +pay for the transformation, go to Malachi's cousin, Malchus, the +tailor, who sells gentlemen's clothing. He lives on the corner of +Bethel street, beside the fountain. From him you can buy all manner of +fine raiment. Malchus will transform you to a noble knight--if you +have the money to pay for it. And now be gone from here, and don't +come back again, for Malachi is an honest man whose lips do not utter +falsehoods; his fingers have never been stained with the ink of +forgery." + +Firmly believing that he was the Malachi I sought, I departed from his +house with a disappointed heart, and betook myself to Bethel street, +to the house beside the fountain, where I found Malchus the tailor. I +would at least exchange my beggar's garb for the raiment of a +gentleman. + +"How glad I am to see your lordship again!" exclaimed the little man, +as I stepped into his door. "May I become as the dust of the street, +if it doesn't seem a hundred years since I saw you last! But, does +your lordship imagine I could fail to recognize the noble knight +Zdenko Kochanovszki, who, in fulfillment of a vow, journeyed on foot, +and garbed as a pilgrim, to Jerusalem and back? Have not I, Malchus +the tailor, eyes to see? I'll wager my head against a button, that +nobody but myself would recognize your lordship in those ragged +garments. Could the beautiful Persida, from whom your lordship +received the magnificent wreath at the tournament, see you now, she +would say: 'Give this ragged beggar a penny, and drive him away.' She +is a duchess now, the wife of the powerful Duke Visznovieczki. But _I_ +have not forgotten your lordship; I still have the clothes your +lordship left in pledge with me--also the embroidered leather-belt +with the bag containing the documents. I kept them all, safely +concealed, for I knew your lordship, the brave and noble Zdenko +Kochanovszki, would return from the holy land and redeem his pledge." + +I saw at once that I should have to accept the personality thrust upon +me by the loquacious little tailor, and call myself Zdenko +Kochanovszki; and when I found how admirably the puissant knight's +cast-off garments fitted me, I no longer hesitated to take possession +of his name also. + +And that is how I became Zdenko Kochanovszki. When I was completely +garbed--and a stately mazar, I looked in the knight's habiliments!--I +asked Malchus what was to pay. + +"Why, surely your lordship remembers the sum I advanced on the +clothes? Of course, I did not count in the loan the jeweled clasps +your lordship desired to be sent to the beautiful Persida; so you owe +me only a round hundred ducats--" + +"A hundred ducats?" I repeated in consternation. "Why there isn't in +all Poland a waywode who can boast of so costly a suit of clothes." + +Malchus smiled slyly: "That is very true, my lord, and there is not in +all Poland a magnate who can boast of more valuable documents than +those in the bag attached to your lordship's leather-belt. When your +lordship left them with me and charged me to care for them as for the +apple of my eye, I knew they must be of great importance. So I have +kept them safely concealed all these years. I don't know what the +papers contain as I can read only what I write with my own hand. I +don't understand Latin, or Greek; and I don't know how to read from +left to right; consequently your lordship may believe me when I say I +have not read the papers. Your lordship will find everything in the +bag just as when it was placed in my hands for safe keeping." + +I opened the bag, and, on examining the documents, found to my +surprise and delight that they were just what I wanted. There was a +patent of nobility, with a Turk's head in the crest--(concerning the +Turk's head I might justly have appropriated it for my own escutcheon, +only I had not come into possession of it on the battlefield!) There +was also an academic certificate, from the Rector of Sarbonne, with +the baccalaureate degree; also certificates of baptism and +confirmation, signed by the bishop of Cracow; a testimonial of valor +from the imperial commander-in-chief, Montecucculi; and a pardon from +the patriarch of Jerusalem--such as are bestowed on pilgrims to the +Holy Sepulchre--all of which were the property of Zdenko +Kochanovszki--who I was! + +Malchus continued to smile slyly while I was examining the documents, +and when I had read the last one he said: + +"Doesn't your lordship think these handsome clothes are worth one +hundred ducats?" + +I gave him a hearty slap on the back; then counted out a "round +hundred ducats." The clothes were not worth one-tenth that sum, but I +was quite satisfied with my purchase. + +I was now fully equipped for my entrance to the ducal palace; as +Zdenko Kochanovszki I might without hesitation seek admittance +anywhere. + +He to whom the name rightly belonged had disappeared eight years +before, and had most likely lost his life in the Holy Land, or in the +battle with the infidels in Hungary. Whoever still remembered the +beardless youth, would not wonder at the great change eight years of +hardship and danger had made in him; and would expect to find the man +a different looking person from the boy. As for my looks--I doubt if +my own mother would have recognized me. + +The duke was an old man, of a girth so enormous that he was obliged to +wear a broad surcingle as support to his rotund paunch. His hair and +beard were gray on the right side, but black on the left, which gave +him a very peculiar appearance. + +When I presented myself before him, he seized both my hands, and +exclaimed: + +"What! Zdenko Kochanovszki back again? The devil! What a man you are +grown! Do you remember what we did at parting?" + +I was confused for a moment: how was I to remember what I had never +known? However, I had to reply, so I stammered what I thought the most +probable: + +"We drank to each other, your grace." + +"By heaven, you are right, lad! That is what we did! But, do you also +remember our wager?" + +I ventured another guess, and answered: + +"Each wagered he could drink the other under the table." + +"Ha, ha, ha! Right--right!" shouted his grace, embracing and kissing +me. "That's what we wagered--and the devil fly away with me if I +don't match you again this very moment! Ho, there, fetch the bratina." + +The bratina is a huge golden beaker that holds two quarts. This was +brought to me, filled with Hegyaljaner wine. + +Now, I had fasted for many hours, and was both hungry and thirsty, so +that it did not require much of an effort on my part to empty the +bratina at a draught--to the supernaculum! + +"The devil fetch me!" roared the jovial duke. "If I had not recognized +you already, I should know you now!" + +I had no difficulty drinking his grace under the table; and from that +hour I became an important member of his household. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +PERSIDA. + + +"_Crimen falsi_," dictated the chair to the notary. + +"But"--the prince made haste to add--"But, _immediatum_, not +_spontaneum_. The accused was led to the indirect committal of the act +by the instructions of Father Agapitus; the real criminal is a Jew--it +is he who deserves the stake. Therefore, the prisoner's transgression +may be remitted." + +"If this continues," grumblingly commented the chair, "the prisoner +will surely talk himself out of every one of his crimes. +Well"--addressing himself to the accused--"I don't know what to call +you, but for the time being Zdenko Kochanovszki, continue." + +Under that name, your honor, resumed Hugo, I lived the most memorable +days of my life. I was treated by the duke as a good comrade and +familiar friend. We hunted together for days in the ducal forests +slaying the wild bulls and bears by the hundreds; and when we returned +to the palace the merry-making began. There would be feasting and +drinking; the most enchanting music by a band of Bohemian players; the +court-fools would amuse us with all sorts of buffoonery; and when any +of the jovial company succumbed to the beaker and tumbled under the +table the attendants carried them to bed. Not infrequently it happened +that his grace and myself would be the only two left at the table--we +being able to stand more than the others. + +At times, too, I would entertain the company by relating the most +wonderful tales of my pilgrimage, which were listened to with close +attention. + +In all this time I had not seen a single woman about the palace. + +The grand-duchess was absent on a pilgrimage to Berdiczov, in +fulfillment of a vow. I learned from one of the guests that the duke's +marriage had not been blessed with an heir, and this was why the +duchess had undertaken the devout journey. As she knew she should be +absent several weeks, she took with her all the women servants, as +well as her ladies-in-waiting--from which I guessed the fair Persida +to be a shrewd, as well as a beautiful woman. + +I waited her grace's return with no little apprehension, for, with the +exception of the grand duke himself, every one about the palace knew +that Zdenko Kochanovszki had been a devoted admirer of the lady before +her marriage. Indeed, it was said that her marriage to the rich old +duke had sent the youthful Zdenko on his pilgrimage. + +That all this was unknown to his grace was certain, else the reception +accorded to me, whom he believed to be his former boon companion, +would not have been so cordial. + +There would be some sport when the lady returned home. + +Would she, too, see in me her quondam admirer? What would happen to me +if the eyes of a loving woman should prove more keen than those of +her husband? What would be the result if she saw through my +masquerade? If she should say: "Away with this rogue--he is a +deceiver! I know what dwells in the eyes of the true Zdenko, for I +have looked into them. These are not Zdenko's eyes." + +And again: what would happen if she should believe me to be her +one-time lover? and question me as her husband had done: "Do you +remember the promise we gave to each other?" And, suppose I should be +as lucky in guessing the reply as before! + + * * * * * + +The duke spoke boastfully of his dragoon's victory over the haidemaken +before the walls of Berdiczov monastery. The robbers had been mowed +down like grain; only the leader and a few of his men had escaped by +the skin of their teeth; their field-gun had been captured and the +gunner hanged on one of the tallest trees--your honors may guess that +I took good care not to deny this statement! + +I praised the duke's heroism, and listened attentively to his tales +about the terrible haidemaken, as if I had never heard of them before. + +At last, one fine day, the pilgrims returned from Berdiczov; and the +joyous sound of women's voices was heard in the palace. Master and man +hastened to welcome the fair ones. I alone had no one to greet. + +I was very curious to see what manner of woman the beautiful Persida +might be--she for whose sake the owner of my name had gone out into +the wide world. + +The duke hastened to assist her from the carriage on the arrival of +the caravan. She was very graceful--tall, with a pale face, large, +dark languishing eyes, full red lips, and coal black hair. + +When her spouse pressed his moist moustache to her lips, she made a +grimace. He was overjoyed at her return. The duke's guests and +attendants welcomed the returned duchess, each in their own fashion; +the former pressed their lips to her hand; the latter kissed the hem +of her robe. I did not want my first meeting with her grace to take +place in the presence of the entire household; but the duke called me +from the hall, where I had withdrawn, and said: + +"See here, my love, who is this? Look at him, and tell me if you +recognize the lad?" + +I was afraid to meet the glance which scrutinized my features--I felt +that I should be compelled to blurt out: + +"I am Baran, gunner of the haidemaken." + +"You don't recognize him, do you?" again said the duke. "I knew you +wouldn't. 'Tis our long absent comrade Zdenko Kochanovszki." + +For one single instant I saw into that woman's soul. At mention of my +name, a sudden light leapt into her eyes--a world of passion flamed +for one brief instant. + +Her husband had not seen it, only I. Then the beautiful eyes became +cold again, and indifferent, and the queenly head was gravely bent in +recognition of an old acquaintance, the slender fingers were extended +for the formal kiss of greeting. + +She did not vouchsafe another glance toward me, but turned toward the +duke, laid her hand on his arm, and said with sudden friendliness: + +"_Comment vous portez-vous, mon petit drole?_" + +Although her grace took no further notice of me, I saw my way clear +for the future. + +With the return of the duchess the household regulations underwent a +complete change. The noisy tipplers received their _conge_; the +nightly carousals came to an end. Quite a different mode of life had +been prescribed by the prior of the monastery for the ducal pair, if +they wished his blessing to have the desired effect. All fast days +were to be strictly observed; they might eat only sparingly of the +plainest food--only of those dishes which conduce to strength: snails, +frogs, and those vegetables which grow under ground. + +This sort of diet, as you may guess, was not suited to the palates of +the duke's guests. One after another took his departure, until none +remained but myself; and I had become indispensable to his grace, +because of my ability to amuse him with adventurous tales. + +Every evening the duchess would send for me to read aloud in a +religious book, about saints, until the duke would become sleepy. Her +grace continued to treat me with extreme reserve; she never lifted her +eyes to mine when she spoke to me, but always kept them lowered, as if +she were addressing her remarks to my boots. + +She appeared to be extraordinarily pious; she would repeat a long +prayer before and at the end of every meal. She never called me by +name--always "Sir." Indeed, the only time she unbent from her frigid +reserve, was, when she patted her husband's fat, bearded cheek, or +pulled his moustache, to restore him to a good humor; but these +occasions were rare. + +Before the duke retired for the night, the duchess prepared with her +own fair hands his slumber draught, the recipe for which she had +received from the prior of Berdiczov monastery. It was composed of all +sorts of costly spices--an enumeration of which I may repeat later, +should I take up the trade of concocting various potations, the +efficacy of which may not be doubted. + +The chief ingredient of the duke's sleeping potion was hot, red wine; +and he was wont to smack his lips and exclaim after he had emptied the +glass: + +"Ah!--my love, that has quite rejuvenated me." He would spring lightly +as a youth from his arm-chair, take his wife's hand, and gallantly +conduct her to their private chambers, leaving me to the solitary +perusal of the pious volume--to learn what had happened to St. +Genevieve, when Attila's Huns besieged Paris. + +One evening we were engaged as usual with our instructive reading. The +duke and his wife were seated in front of the fire-place; I, as +always, occupied a chair at the table on which rested the ponderous +"History of the Saints and Martyrs." I had been reading for an hour +and more, how St. Genevieve had relieved Paris a second time from +famine, when the duke suddenly interrupted to say he was so thirsty he +must beg that his nightly potion be given to him at once. His wife +prepared it for him; but, instead of rising to retire to his own rooms +as usual, after he had emptied the glass, he settled himself back in +his chair, clasped his hands over his paunch, and in a few minutes his +powerful snoring again interrupted the reading. + +The duchess looked at him for several moments with an indescribable +expression on her lovely face--a mixture of loathing, rage, and +contempt; then, she sprang to her feet, came swiftly toward the table +where I was sitting, and gave it so vigorous a thrust with her foot +that it toppled over and fell, together with the Saints and Martyrs, +to the floor with a loud noise. His grace did not stir; his snores +continued with unabated vigor. + +Before I had recovered from my astonishment at her grace's behavior, +she seated herself on my knee and flung her arms around my neck: + +"So you have come back to me, Zdenko? Tell me, do you still love me?" +she asked in a passionate whisper, at the same time making it +impossible for me to reply-- + +"Stop!" here interrupted the chair: "I don't quite understand how that +could be?" + +"I do," promptly, and succinctly interposed the prince. "Continue, +prisoner, what happened next?" + +I hardly know how to tell it, your highness. It was like a dream of +paradise! I knew that every kiss I received and returned was deceit, +robbery, sacrilege; I knew I was cheating the house which sheltered +me; the master of the house who fed me; the unknown man whose name I +bore--the woman--God--the devil--all--all. And yet, were you to ask me +what I should do were I to be placed in the same situation again, I +should reply: "Just what I did then--and if it cost me my life!" + +"Hardened reprobate!" exclaimed the chair in a tone of reprimand. Then +he dictated to the notary: "_Adulterium cum stellionatum_--" + +"But," hastily interposed the prince, "he did not begin it. In this +case, as in that of Father Adam: the woman was to blame. The prisoner +will continue." + +I know it was a great crime--I know it very well, and it oppresses my +soul to this day, although I have received absolution for it. In that +moment of oblivion to all things earthly, the lovely Persida whispered +in my ear: + +"Zdenko, if you could journey to the Holy Land for love of me you +could also endure a season of purgatory for my sake, could you not?" + +Without stopping to consider, I answered: + +"Certainly I could!" + +"Very well, then, do not confess this sin which is half mine. Do not +confide it to priest, or saint, for no matter to whom you might +confess, misfortune would come to me as well as to you." + +I promised not to confess the sin; but I went about with it weighting +my soul, much as a wounded stag roams the forest with a dart in his +vitals. + +The old duke at last became so devout that he compelled every member +of his household to repair to the confessional in his private chapel, +every fast day. There was nothing to be seen of the priest who +received the penitents, but his hand, in which he held a long ivory +wand with which he would touch the penitent as a sign that absolution +had been granted. + +The duke confessed first; after him the duchess; then I, the +house-friend, and major-domo of the ducal household. When my turn +came, I took my place before the lattice and said to the confessor: +"Father, will you give me your word of honor that you will never tell +what I confess to you?" + +"Don't ask such silly questions, my son," he replied. "Don't you know +that the secrets of the confessional are inviolably sacred?" + +"But, suppose you should tell them sometime?" I persisted. + +"Then I should be burned at the stake." + +"Has it never happened that a priest betrayed the secrets confided to +him in the confessional?" I asked again. + +"Such a case is not on record, my son. Not even the confession of a +murderer may be revealed, though the priest knows that an innocent man +will be hanged for the crime. He dare not speak to prevent the law +from committing another murder. On the other hand, many a priest has +suffered martyrdom rather than betray the secrets confided to him. An +illustrious example is Saint Nepomuck, of whom I dare say you have +heard?" + +"Yes, I have read about John Nepomucene; but are you a saint of that +order?" + +"The vows I have taken, my son, are the same he took." + +"That is not enough, father; you must swear to me that you will never +reveal what I tell you." + +And his reverence had to yield to my importunate request before I +would make my confession to him. After he had solemnly sworn never to +reveal what I should tell him, I made a clean breast of +everything--and a rare list it was I can tell you! + +At the last transgression, however, I made a pause. I remembered what +Persida had said to me. And yet, the sin I shared with her was the +very one that most oppressed my soul. + +The father noticed my hesitation, and said: + +"My son, you are keeping back something. You have not told me +everything. It is not likely that a stately young gentleman like +yourself lives only on caraway-soup! There are many handsome women in +this city; every one of them confesses her foibles--you, surely, are +not the only saint about here! Remember, if you withhold but a single +transgression, your tortures in purgatory will be the same as for +nine-hundred and ninety-nine." + +The reverend father continued to threaten me with purgatorial fires, +until at last I confided in him the secret which was only half mine. I +had no sooner done so than I regretted it; I would have given anything +could I have recalled my words--nay, I would willingly have journeyed +straightway to purgatory, as I had told Persida I would, rather than +betray the secret we shared together. But the secrets of a sinful love +have wings--they will escape somehow. + +When I bent forward to receive the reverend father's benediction, he +gave me such a thump on the head with his wand that the spot remained +sore to the touch for several days. + +"He absolves one with a will, and no mistake!" I said to myself as I +rose to go my way. It occurred to me for an instant, that it would be +exceedingly comical if, instead of a priest, it had been the duke who +received my confession. I turned to look toward his grace's arm-chair, +and was relieved to see that his burly form occupied it, and that he +was wrapped in devout slumber. + + +THE IRON NECKLACE. + +Freed from the burden of my transgressions, I proceeded to do what is +usually done by the prodigal sons who have been relieved of their old +debts--I set about at once to make new ones. + +I looked forward with impatience for evening to arrive, for the hour +of instructive reading in the book of Saints and Martyrs. + +On this particular evening the duke was even more friendly toward me +than usual; he jested with me, and frequently compelled me to exchange +glasses with him as a sign of his cordial friendship. + +When the hour arrived for the duchess to prepare the "rejuvenating +sleeping potion," his grace became actually boisterous; his fat face +grew crimson, his rotund paunch shook like jelly, with his incessant +laughter. + +"See here, comrade," he exclaimed, taking from his wife's hand the +goblet in which the hot, spiced wine was steaming, "this is a drink +of paradise! When I have emptied it into my stomach, I fly direct to +paradise--not the one described by our holy men, where all the men are +old, and all the women pious; where there is neither eating nor +drinking and where there are no amusements save harp-playing and psalm +singing--no, I fly straightway to the improved paradise of the +Mohammedans, where there is wine to drink and women to admire. There +an enchanting Greek _Hetaere_ offers you the wine of Cyprus; the Roman +bacchante offers Falernian wine; the Spanish donna serves Maderia; the +Lesbian siren gives you nectar; the Persian bayadere brings Shiraz; +the Wallachian fairy, Tokay; and the negress Abelera dips up sparkling +Bordeaux in the hollow of her dusky palm and holds it to your +lips--each more beautiful than the other, until at last you cannot +decide which of the wines is the most delicious. That is _I_ cannot, +for you have not yet made the journey. But you shall; for are not we +good comrades--you and I? Is it not meet that I should let my heart's +brother enjoy paradisal delights with me? To be sure it is! Very good! +You shall go in my stead this very evening to Mohammed's paradise--but +only this once, mind you! Here, take the glass, empty it to the +dregs!" I was exceedingly embarrassed; I looked questioningly toward +the duchess, who was seated on the arm of her husband's chair. He +could not see her nod her head as if to say, "Do as you are bid." + +I took the goblet and emptied it to the dregs. Almost immediately I +was overcome by a languor that seemed to transform my material body +to vapor. I rose from the earth to the clouds which assumed the most +fantastic shapes; on and on the breeze wafted me; over enchanting +regions, amid talking trees and singing fruits; across a sea of +radiant light swept by waves of harmony--amid music, and color, and +perfumes, the quintessence of sweetness, amid gorgeous flames which +became forms of transcendent loveliness: Delilah; Bathsheba; Salome; +Lais; Aspasia; Cleopatra; Semiramis; Circe; and the dusky Atalanta. +The seductive forms gathered around me; they pressed toward me, +smiling alluringly. They thrust on to every one of my fingers rings +that glittered with diamonds, rubies, sapphires, until my hands became +so heavy I could not lift them. Their embraces strangled me; their +kisses burned on my face and neck like fire; the dusky Atalanta's +coral lips drew the blood from my veins-- + +"Are you never going to waken from your satanic dream?" impatiently +interrupted the chair. + +"Let him dream--it is rather pleasant," interposed the prince; but +Hugo said: + +"I am awake. The place in which I found myself, when I opened my eyes, +was not Mohammed's paradise, but an underground dungeon, the walls of +which were dripping with moisture. The flickering light of a small +lamp faintly illumined the narrow cell; and the rings which weighted +my hands were heavy iron chains that creaked and clinked every +movement I made. The kisses which burned on my face and neck were not +from the lips of Delilah, Circe, and the rest; but from those +horrible hundred-legged creatures, scolopendra, which covered my body; +and the dusky Atalanta, who drew the blood from my neck, was nothing +less than a hideous vampyre. The embraces which strangled me were not +from the white arms of enchantresses, but from an iron band two inches +thick and three fingers wide, fastened about my neck, and secured to a +ring in the wall by a chain, that was only long enough to allow me to +reach and convey to my mouth the mouldy bread and jug of water placed +by my side--" + +"Served you right, you godless miscreant!" interpolated the chair in a +severe tone. "You got your just deserts at last!" + +At first--continued the prisoner--I consoled myself with the foolish +thought that I was still under the influence of the sleeping potion. I +remembered that those persons who eat the flesh of sharks are said to +have such dreams: delightful visions at first, followed by the +tortures of martyrdom. + +But the iron neck-band was too painful a reality for me to remain long +in doubt as to whether I was awake, or dreaming. The cold, hard, heavy +ring betrothed me to death! + +How long a time I passed in thinking over what had happened I can't +say; there was no night, no day, in that dungeon; nor was I told by +sleep and hunger when it was midnight or noon. + +The lamp in my cell was a perpetual one, for the oil did not grow +less; it was there, doubtless, to reveal to me all the horrors of my +surroundings. Reptiles, all manner of creeping and crawling creatures +moved over the stone floor and walls; vampyres hung in rows from the +ceiling, watching me with their garnet eyes, ready to flash down on me +the moment I lost consciousness in sleep. + +At last a sound roused me from the stupor into which I had fallen; a +key turned in the lock, the iron door opened, and a tall man, whose +face was hidden by a capuchin, entered, with a jug of water and a loaf +of bread. + +"Well, my lad," he exclaimed, on seeing that I had not touched the +bread or the water by my side. "Do you propose to starve yourself?" + +His voice sounded strangely familiar; I did not have to trouble my +brain guessing where I had heard it before; he pushed back his +capuchin, and I recognized the haidemaken priest who had performed the +ceremony of confirmation over me in the cavern. + +"You are the haidemaken pater?" I whispered hoarsely, not trusting +myself to speak aloud. + +"Then you recognize me, do you?" he returned, laughing. "I had an idea +you would deny all knowledge of our former comradeship." + +"Are you the gaoler here?" I asked. + +"The gaoler?" he repeated, laughing again. "Not by a good deal! I am +the court-confessor!" He sat down on the stone seat to which I was +chained, and continued: "I dare say you are curious to learn how I +come to be here? Well, when the duke's dragoons attacked the +haidemaken at Berdiczov, I hastily donned my chasuble and capuchin, +trusting to the vestments to save my life, which they did; but I was +taken prisoner and brought to the duke. I could not deny that I was a +haidemak, but his grace evidently had use for a person like myself, +for he said to me: "You deserve to be hanged, reverend father, but I +will spare your life on condition that you accept a proposition I +shall offer you: I want you to act the part of court-confessor for a +season, to receive the confessions of those persons I shall send to +you. I suspect my wife of infidelity, but cannot find out who is the +partner of her guilt. They both confess to the court-chaplain I have +no doubt, but he is an honest old saint who would let himself be torn +to pieces rather than betray the secrets confided to him in the +confessional. Now, you are of a different pattern; it will not matter +to you if the fires of purgatory are heated a few degrees hotter for +your purification. If you don't accept my conditions you will have the +opportunity at once of testing the temperature of purgatory; if you +accept you shall have a respite. What do you say? Will you become my +court-confessor?" + +"You may believe, lad, that I would have acceded to a much more +difficult proposition in order to save my neck from the gallows; so I +became confessor to the ducal household. When I saw you coming toward +the confessional I recognized you at once, and guessed that you would +have some pretty sins to get rid of. I was not surprised when you told +me of your sinful dalliance with the beautiful young duchess; and +quite envied your good fortune. I said to myself, 'I will not betray +the lad; but make him do penance for the sin,' so I ordered you to put +seven dried peas in each shoe and journey on foot to the shrine of +the Holy Virgin at Berdiczov. Had you been content to do as I bade +you, you would not be here now; but you began to haggle with me about +the peas--you urged me to let you boil them before you put them into +your shoes; and, to win my indulgence, you told me of the good turn +you had done the monks of Berdiczov by betraying the haidemaken into +the hands of the duke's dragoons. Ha! but didn't I want to fly at your +throat when I heard that! I wanted to strangle you, I was so enraged +to hear that it was you who had betrayed us and frustrated our fine +plans to secure the monks' treasure. However, I contented myself with +giving you a sound rap on the head and straightway communicated to his +grace what you had confessed. You have got for your reward the entire +ducal property, for you are chained to it so securely you cannot get +away from it." + +The next query I put to the cursed haidemaken priest was: "What has +been done with the duchess?" + +"You need not trouble yourself about her highness, my son; the duke is +too shrewd a man of the world to make public the disgrace of his +house. The beautiful Persida does not know that she has been betrayed. +The causes assigned for your incarceration are forgery; the usurpation +of the name of a noble knight; and for being a member of a robber +band--for all of which you deserve death. That you have been condemned +to suffer a hundred deaths for your dalliance with the lovely Persida, +instead of only one for the transgressions assigned, no one will ever +know. As for the duchess: one of these fine days she will, after +eating a peach or a pear, get a severe colic that will result in her +death. The funeral ceremonies in the Vieznovieczky palace will be most +imposing--and that will be the end of her grace. It might come to +pass, however, that the obsequies of his grace might precede those of +the duchess. It depends on which of the ducal pair gets the better of +the other! But, you have only yourself to think of, my son. I am here +to offer you one of two alternatives: Ask to be tried before a court +which will sentence you to immediate death on the wheel--unless the +duke out of compassion for a good comrade orders your head to be cut +off. The other alternative is: Elect to remain in this hole, chained +to the wall, battling with vermin while you live, and becoming food +for them when the breath leaves your body. _Tertium non datur._" + +To this I made answer that I preferred to be executed without delay, +even were I to be broiled on a gridiron over a slow fire. I was quite +ready to die. + +"Very well, my son, then I will proceed at once to administer to you +the last sacraments--" + +"Go to the devil!" I cried furiously, when he approached me with the +wafer he had taken from his pocket. "I won't have any more of your +cursed mummery. You are no better than I am--you too are sure to go to +hell!" + +"That is more than likely, my son," responded the accursed priest +composedly. "The only difference between us is in the manner of our +journeying thither. You will travel on foot--I on wheels. So, don't +you think it would be well to let me give you a lift on the way? With +the heavy pack of sins on your back you might hang on to the +tail-board of my wagon!" + +I could not help but laugh at the rascal, so I said: "Very well, if +your blessing will help me over the road more quickly, go ahead and +let's have it!--and may the devil fly away with you!" + +He thrust the wafer down my throat and I had hardly got it comfortably +swallowed when I fell into a deep sleep. The wafer contained a +powerful narcotic. + + +THE WHITE DOVE. + +In my death-like sleep I still saw the dungeon walls, still felt the +iron fetters on neck, hands and feet. Instead of the tiny lamp flame, +however, which had only dimly lighted the musty cell, a radiant light +now filled it--a light that came from overhead. When, with great +difficulty, I lifted my face toward the ceiling, I beheld an ethereal +form bending above me; her white garments gleamed like snow under +brilliant sunshine; her blue mantle was like the starry sky of +evening. The coronet above her brow was like the crescent moon. The +face was so radiant I could not look at it--my eyes were dazzled as +when I gazed into the noon-day sun. The radiant vision held on her +right arm an infant; the forefinger of its right hand was pressed +against its lips. I believed the Holy Virgin had descended to me; but +when the vision came nearer to me, kissed me, and called me by name, +then I knew that it was my Madus--my poor deserted, forgotten Madus! + +I was so ashamed of the fetters which bound me. If she should ask why +I wore them, how could I reply? "I wear them because of the beautiful +woman who caused me to forget you." + +But she did not ask any questions; she smiled tenderly, and said in +her gentle tones: + +"My poor Baran! How unhappy you seem! Cheer up--we are come to help +you--to release you. My home is now in paradise--I will tell you how I +came to dwell there. On Christmas eve, I was kneeling in front of the +holy image you brought to me from Berdiczov, expecting every minute +the arrival of the little guest for my Bethlehem crib, when I heard a +familiar step outside the cottage. It was my father. I hurriedly +snatched the blessed image from the table to hide it, for I knew the +sight of it would anger him; but I was seized with such a terrible +pain in my heart I had to press the image against it with both hands. +I hardly recognized my father. His face was fearfully cut, and +mutilated; one eye was gone. "Your precious Baran betrayed us," he +gasped, glaring at me with the remaining eye. I opened my lips to +speak for you, but before I could utter a word he said again: "You are +his accomplice, you miserable creature! What are you hiding in your +breast?" I could not lie, so I told him it was the image of the +Blessed Virgin. "A gift from the Berdiczov monks I'll warrant!" he +shrieked, seizing my hair and flinging me on the floor. I heard the +keen blade of his cimeter hiss through the air--then, it seemed as if +the sky fell over me. The next instant I found myself in paradise, +with every pain changed to bliss. I may not reveal to you the secrets +of that blessed realm, my Baran. I may only tell you that our little +child is with me--he was born in heaven. This is he--he is come to +save his father from death." + +As she spake these words the child bent toward me and took hold of the +chains which bound my feet and hands. They fell asunder at his touch. +But the iron band around my neck was too wide for his tiny fingers to +clasp; it was impossible for him to break it. But he did what +twenty-four horses could not have done: with one pull he drew from the +wall the iron ring to which the neck-band was secured by a chain. + +"My blessed child!" I exclaimed, kissing the little hands. "If your +strength is so great, then seize hold of my hair, and bear me with you +to your home above the clouds." + +The little one laid his finger against his lips as a sign that he +could not, or dared not speak; but the mother answered for him: + +"No, my good Baran, you cannot come to us. Before that will be +possible you will have to endure many more trials in this world of +shadows. You will have to abide here until you shall have performed a +good deed for which some one will say to you: 'God reward you.' One +single good deed, my Baran, will do more toward winning paradise than +a hundred pilgrimages, or a thousand prayers." + +How sinful I am, your honors, is proved by the fact that I am still +alive; and as it is not likely that I shall have an opportunity to +perform the deed, which will call down on me a blessing from heaven, I +shall never again behold my little angel son, and his mother, my +sainted Madus. + +After the vision had spoken she beckoned me to follow her. The child +touched the wall of the dungeon with his fingers, the stones parted, +and we passed through the opening. The radiant form of my Madus +illuminated the passage amid the rocks, the long flights of stairs we +ascended. We seemed to thread our way through the catacombs. At last +we emerged from the subterranean region into a dense forest. I saw how +the shining garments of my conductress swept over the moss, giving to +it, to the flowers, the grass, the trees, the same soft radiance that +emanated from her form. Gradually the distance between me and the +lovely vision widened; my feet became leaden; I could hardly move my +limbs. Then the radiant appearance lost its human shape, until at last +it seemed to me that I was looking down a long avenue between the +trees at a faint glimmering light at the further end. The cold air +blew across my face, and I awoke. + +I was in the forest of my dream, around me were mammoth trees between +which, a long way off, I could see the glimmering light of the open. +The same beggar raiment I had worn to journey to Lemberg clothed me; +my crutch, emptied of its gold, lay by my side. I made my way toward +the light at the edge of the forest. I could see no signs of human +habitation anywhere. How far I was from the scene of my magnificence +and disgrace I cannot say. When I looked at my beggar's rags, I could +easily have believed my Lemberg experience an evil dream, had not the +iron band about my neck been too convincing a proof of its reality. + +"Well," here observed the prince, drawing a long breath, "that is a +most remarkable story!--a miraculous rescue of a transgressor through +the aid of the Almighty Father!" + +To this the chair added: "I am inclined to believe that the prisoner's +escape from the dungeon was effected through earthly, rather than +heavenly assistance. It is more likely that the haidemaken priest, +bribed by the duchess, conveyed the prisoner to the forest, and clad +him in the rags which had been procured from the Jew Malchus." + +"_I_ believe the story just as the accused told it," asseverated his +highness. "There are a number of similar cases on record--of notorious +bandits having been released from imprisonment by the hands of an +unborn babe." + +"And I assure your highness"--Hugo ventured to insist--"that +everything happened just as I related it. From the moment of my waking +in the forest, a white dove nestled on my left shoulder, and +accompanied me wherever I went. If I turned to look at it, when it +would coo into my ear, it would fly to my right shoulder; but it +seemed to prefer sitting on my left." + +"Is the white dove sitting on either of your shoulders now?" queried +the chair. + +"No, your honor," sadly replied the prisoner; "it is not there now. I +will tell you later how I came to lose it." + +The prince announced his decision as follows: + +"As the prisoner's release from the dungeon was accomplished through a +miracle from heaven, it would not be seemly for a human judge to +oppose divine favor. This transgression, therefore, may also be erased +from the register." + + + + +PART IV. + +WITH THE TEMPLARS. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +IN THE HOLLOW TREE. + + +With a ragged mantle on my back, a crutch in my hand, an iron band +about my neck, and the white dove on my shoulder, where could I have +gone?--even had I wished to leave the forest. + +The rags and the crutch were fitting equipment for a beggar; but what +should I have replied had anyone asked me why I wore the iron band on +my neck? I was disgusted with the world and its wickedness. + +Overwhelmed with remorse for the sins I had committed, I resolved to +become a hermit and do penance--I would remain in the forest and adopt +the rigorous life of an ascetic. + +After a brief search I discovered a brook that would supply me with +fresh water; hard by its banks an oak tree, many centuries old, with a +large cavity in the trunk, offered the shelter I should require. I +collected moss and dry leaves for my bed; for nourishment there was a +plentitude of nuts and wild fruits, and edible fungi. Wild bees +furnished me with sweets. + +I bound together two dry branches in form of a cross, set it up +between two large stones, and performed my daily devotions in front of +it. + +During the day I roamed through the forest collecting stores for the +winter; I laid up a supply of dried fruit, nuts, sow-bread and +honey--the last I found in the upper part of my tree-house, where a +swarm of bees had taken up their quarters. + +Of the raspberries which grew plentifully along the brook, I made a +sort of conserve, which I packed into boxes made of the bark of pine +trees. All these provisions I stored in my tree-house, which I had +firmly resolved never to quit. + +But one thought disquieted me. If I remained in the forest how could I +perform the good deed Madus had told me was necessary in order to win +paradise? If I passed all my days in the hollow tree beside the brook, +where no human being ever came near me, how was I to benefit my fellow +creatures? How win the "God will reward you"--the open sesame to +paradise? I pondered this over and over until at last an expedient +suggested itself to me, by which I could make known my existence to my +fellow-creatures and still remain in my hermitage. I looked about for +two broad flat stones; these I fastened together at one side with a +cord made of linden bark and hung them on the lower limb of a tree. +With a third stone for a clapper I rang my primitive bell three times +daily--morn, noon and evening--surely, I said to myself, some one will +hear the sound and come to see what is the meaning of it. When the +people in the neighborhood learn that a devout hermit is living in the +forest, they will visit him, and perhaps bestow alms on him. + +But, in vain I rang three times every day, no visitors came to my +hollow tree, save the fawns that came to drink at the brook, and the +wild cats that came to prey on them. Many a time I rescued a young +deer from the claws of the feline enemy. It was to be regretted that +the dumb beasts I rescued could not have thanked me for the good deed. +One day I returned later than was my wont from collecting moss and +ferns to protect me from the cold of winter (I had already fashioned a +door of willow withes to keep the snow out of my tree-house). What was +my surprise to find the door open, and all my provisions gone! Not a +trace of the nuts remained but the shells; there was not a vestige of +the dried fruit; the boxes of raspberry conserve were lying about on +the ground, broken and crushed, as if they had been trodden under foot +by the marauders. Even the tent-shaped honey-comb in the upper portion +of my dwelling was gone, the plundered bees were buzzing angrily +around the tree outside. + +I could hardly refrain from uttering a malediction on the thief who +had despoiled me of my winter store; but I remembered my pious vows, +and reproached myself instead: "Shame on you, pious anchorite," I +said, "were you so wedded to earthly possessions that the loss of them +rouses your anger? You were too proud of your store. You were going to +play the sovereign in the wilderness. Others had an equal right to +that which you imagined belonged only to yourself. The truly pious +anchorite does not lay up stores for the morrow. He depends on the +Master to supply his needs. He must pay heed to nothing save his +prayers for the wicked, and praises for the Master. You have been +fitly punished for your arrogance." I said further, "Perhaps this has +happened for the best. Who can say but the despoiler prayed that God +might reward the one who had placed the provisions in the hollow tree. +If so be that was the case, it was a fine hunger it took all my store +to appease!" + +And again: "Who knows? Perhaps the hungry one is a great prophet--St. +Peter himself, maybe. I have heard that that distinguished saint +occasionally visits a poor man, and eats up a winter's supply of +provisions, only to return it an hundred fold. If so be it was St. +Peter then he will return tomorrow and so fill your tree with viands +and treasure you will never again want for anything--and, maybe, he +will also bestow on you a passport that will admit you to paradise +whenever you choose to go!" + +Consoling myself with such thoughts, I sounded the bell as usual for +vespers; then I drank heartily of brook water, lay down on my soft +bed, and dreamed until morning, of flying hams and kindred paradisal +delights. At sunrise, I rang the early matin bell; then hurried away, +in order not to disturb the prophet when he came to prepare the +surprise for me. + +I spent the entire day wandering about the forest, guessing what my +benefactor would bestow on me in return for the nuts, fruits and honey +he had taken--would it be the widow's oil-cruse with its +never-failing contents? or, a pair of bread-supplying ravens? or, a +barley loaf from Mount Gilead? or, a swarm of those savory locusts +which had served as fare for John the Baptist? + +In my rambling I came across a heap of beech-nuts. I hesitated to +gather them. What need to take the trouble? There would be plenty, and +to spare, in the hollow tree. However, I filled my pockets with the +nuts, then turned my face homeward. + +As I was rather late, I rang for vespers, and told my beads (I had +made a beautiful rosary of acorns) before going to my hermitage. A +deep growl came from the hollow tree when I approached it. + +"He is here!" I exclaimed joyfully. "He is waiting to see me. That he +is no ordinary person I can tell by his voice!" + +I crept on hands and knees toward the tree, and peeped into the +cavity. The next instant I was on my feet, hurling a million +_donnerwetters_ at the shaggy bear, whose monstrous body quite filled +the only apartment of my dwelling. + +I forgot that I was an anchorite, and cursed the brute roundly-- + +"_Votum violatum_," dictated the chair. "Broken vow--blasphemy! +_Capite plectetur._" + +"By my faith!" interposed the prince with considerable emphasis. "I +would have sworn too! _Qui bene distinguit, bene docet._ How goes the +paragraph relating to blasphemy? 'He that curses his fellowman'--and +so forth. But, it doesn't say anything about punishment for him who +curses his 'fellow-bear.' You see, therefore, that the _votum ruptum_ +does not fit this crime, for it was not the prisoner who broke the vow +of the anchorite, but the bear; consequently bruin is the delinquent." + +"Very good," assented the chair. "Then the bear is the guilty party: +_ursus comburatur_! The robbery of the temple follows: I am curious to +hear how the prisoner will clear himself of that! That he will +accomplish it I am willing to wager my head!" + +What was I to do? continued Hugo, when the mayor had concluded his +remark. My house was occupied by a tenant who would not let me share +it with him. I had nowhere else to go. I could not find another +hermitage. If I could not be a hermit, I could become a +beggar--begging was also a way to gain a livelihood, and I possessed +the necessary equipment for it. + +In Poland, no one who can say: "Give me bread," needs die of hunger. +The iron band on my neck might, after all, be of advantage to me; it +would give me a sort of superiority over other mendicants. If I were +asked how I came by it, I should say that it had been forged on my +neck by the Saracens, who took me captive when I was in the Holy Land, +and because I had made my escape through a miracle, I continued to +wear the band as a penance. + +The good people to whom I told this story believed it; it brought me +many a groschen and carried me comfortably across Poland. + +I had no sooner crossed into Brandenburg (I was on my way to my +native city, where I intended taking up the trade of my father, an +honest and respectable tanner) than I was surrounded by a crowd of +people--not a charitably disposed crowd, but inquisitive. + +They wanted to know where I came from, where was I going, who and what +was I and how I dared to have the impertinence to beg in their city. + +I replied that I was a pilgrim from the Holy Land; and that instead of +thinking it an impertinence for me to beg from them, they ought to +consider it a distinction to have in their community a mendicant with +an iron collar around his neck. + +But the Brandenburgers are inclined to believe themselves more clever +than the rest of the world. The bailiff seized me, dragged me to the +market place, where he proceeded to question me for the benefit of the +whole city. + +"Who are you?" he inquired. + +"I am hungry," I said in reply. + +"Where do you come from?" + +"From Jerusalem." + +"Don't you attempt to deceive me, sirrah! I know the way to Jerusalem. +Through what provinces did you journey?" + +"Through Marcomannia, and Scythia; through Bess Arabia, and Arabia +Petraea; through Bactria, and Mesopotamia; and now I come direct from +Caramania--" + +"Stop, stop! You are saying what is not true," interrupted the +bailiff. "Praise be to God! we Brandenburgers have maps, and know how +to get to foreign countries. The way to Palestine is through +Zingaria, Paflagonia, Cappadocia, and cinnamon-scented India. + +"Well," I explained, "I did travel through those countries too, but it +was at night, when I couldn't see to read their names on the +guide-boards." + +"And what means that iron band on your neck?" + +"That, your honor, was fastened about my neck by the black sultan, +Zagachrist, who held me captive fifty-two years and three days." + +"You are not yet thirty years old." + +"No, in this part of the world I am not; but in Abyssinia, where the +sun is so hot, the days contract to such an extent, that one of your +years here would be six there." + +"What an unconscionable liar you are!" exclaimed the bailiff. "Heat +does not contract. On the contrary, it expands, which accounts for the +days being longer in summer than in winter. We Brandenburgers know +that very well." + +He seized me by the collar, to drag me to prison, but I held back, and +said in a loud voice--loud enough for the crowd to hear: + +"I tell you I am right; heat does contract. Just you sit on a hot +stove and see if your leather breeches don't shrivel up under you." + +The crowd was on my side; but that trial in the market-place might +have resulted disastrously for me, had not a knight just then chanced +to ride that way. He wore on his head a plumed helmet; his body was +protected by a coat of mail. From his shoulders hung a crimson mantle, +on which was embroidered a large white cross. A heart-shaped shield +swung from the pommel of his saddle. + +My eyes were at once attracted to this shield, on which were the +ensigns armorial: a mounted knight like himself, and on the same horse +a ragged pilgrim of a like pattern with myself. + +"Ho, ho!" here interrupted the chair in triumph. "You may have been +able to hoodwink the Brandenburg bailiff, but you can't do the same +with me! You needn't try to make this court believe you saw anyone +wearing the coat-of-arms of an order that was abolished in the 14th +century." + +"I know very well, your honor, that the order of the Templars was +abolished at the time you mention, but a portion of them took refuge +in Brandenburg, where the order exists to this day under the name of +'Dornenritter.'" + +Having made this explanation, Hugo continued his confession: + +At sight of the Templar a great commotion arose among the people +crowding the market-place; the women pressed toward him to kiss the +hem of his mantle, in their enthusiasm almost dragging him from the +saddle. The knight had red hair, and a long beard of the same fiery +hue. + +"There is the red monk," said the bailiff to me. "Do you try to make +him believe you have been in Palestine? He has been there twice--once +by land and once by sea--and he has slaughtered more than two hundred +heathen and liberated thousands of pilgrims from slavery. Talk to +him; he will know how to question you." + +I was in a fix, and no mistake. The knight would be sure at once to +detect the errors of my geography. + +He rode quite close to me, passed his hand over his long beard and +examined me from head to foot with his keen eyes. + +"Can you prove to me that you come from the Holy Land?" he asked in a +voice so stern and deep-toned it made me start and tremble. + +But a lucky thought came to me; I had a convincing proof under my +arm--the old Turk's crutch, the shaft of which was closely wound with +brass wire in a fanciful pattern. + +"Will you examine this, Sir Knight?" I said in reply--holding the +crutch toward him. "You, who are familiar with the Arabic characters, +will find here a record of my wanderings--the entire history of my +wretched captivity, and miraculous deliverance." + +It was the knight's turn to start and tremble. I saw at once from his +countenance, that he knew no more about Arabic than--ah--than your +honor, and that he was afraid I might betray him, and prove to the +multitude that he had never trod the sacred soil of the Holy Land. The +hand he extended for the crutch trembled, but he preserved a bold +front, as he turned the brass-bound shaft around and around in his +fingers, and pretended to decipher the oriental characters. After +several minutes, he returned the crutch to me and said in an +impressive tone: + +"This is indeed Arabic--or, rather, Saracenic, the language of +Turcomania. Your crutch, devout pilgrim, testifies to the truth of +everything you have told these good people. Come with me to my castle, +where you will be a welcome and honored guest." + +Before he had quite concluded this speech, the bailiff had lost +himself in the crowd--he was nowhere to be seen. + +I was hoisted to the shoulders of a pair of sturdy citizens, and, +accompanied by the shouting multitude, borne in triumph to the +Templars' castle, situated on a moat-encircled hill, a little distance +from the city. + +Here, I was committed to the care of the guards on duty; they stripped +me of my rags; lifted me into a vat of water, scrubbed me thoroughly, +combed and shaved my head, and then put on me a scarlet habit of +coarse cloth, which, to judge from its ample proportions, must once +have garbed the form of a brother whose conditions of life had been +more fortunate than mine. + +Attired thus, I was conducted to the refectory, where the red-bearded +knight and twelve of his companions were assembled. + +"_Quadraginta tonitrua_, lad, you please me well!" exclaimed the +red-bearded knight, who seemed to be the leader. "Never, in all my +life, have I ever heard so glib a tongue at lying as yours! You must +stop here with us. The devil has taken our sacristan--that's his habit +you've got on--he died of small-pox yesterday." + +You may imagine my feelings when I heard that I was wearing the +garment of a man that had succumbed to so loathsome a disease! + +I made bold to say that I had never learned the duties requisite to +the office of a sacristan. + +"_Per septem archidiabolos!_" merrily exclaimed the knight. "I believe +you. But, we will instruct you--never fear!" + +Here he noticed the iron band on my neck and added: "Ha, _Lucifer te +corripiat_! Why do you wear that curious band around your neck?" + +In reply I stammered something about a solemn vow, whereupon the +entire company burst into hearty laughter. + +"_Ut Belsebub te submergat in paludes inferni, trifurcifer!_" bawled +the red knight. "Either you wear the band in pursuance of a +vow--solemn or otherwise--or it was forged on your neck in punishment +for a theft. If the former, then continue to wear it to the end of +your days; if the latter, then we have an armorer who will relieve you +of it in short order." + +To this I made answer: + +"Though I wear the iron band because of a solemn vow, the Sir Knights +may believe it is in punishment for a theft." + +The merry company laughed again, and the armorer was summoned at once +to relieve me of the uncomfortable collar. + + +BAPHOMET. + +I now believed I had ultimately attained what I most desired--a +comfortable position in a religious house, where I might pass the +remainder of my days in peace, and free from care. I should have no +further need to trouble about providing for food and drink, and the +where to lay my head. My duties were light; I had to ring the bell for +prayers three times daily; keep clean the church vessels, and take +care of all the vestments. All my time not occupied with these simple +tasks, I was permitted to devote to pious contemplation. I soon won +the confidence of Knight Elias, the red-bearded superior. I was named +Eliezer. It had taken me six months and more to beg my way through +Poland, consequently, Passion week began soon after my arrival at the +Templars' castle. I was apprehensive that I should not be able +adequately to perform the duties requisite for my office during the +solemn season, as I was not yet sufficiently familiar with the Roman +Catholic service, having only lately become a neophite. But, when I +confided my doubts to Knight Elias, he replied encouragingly: + +"Don't you worry, Frater Eliezer, every night during the coming week +we shall rehearse scenes from the 'Passion Play,' which will make you +familiar with the services expected of you." + +This assurance gave me confidence, and I looked forward with +impatience to Maundy-Thursday, as on the evening of that day the +preparations for the devotional ceremonies were to begin. + +Maundy-Thursday arrived. In the evening, after I had closed and locked +the gates after vespers, Knight Elias bade me take a lamp, go to the +chapel, and wait there until the clock struck the hour of midnight, +when I should hear three taps on the door of the crypt. I was to open +the door without delay, receive with becoming respect the guests who +would appear, and obey every order they might give me. I did not +betray the astonishment I felt on receiving this very singular behest. +I never was what may be termed "faint-hearted." I dare say because my +curiosity always was superior to my timidity; and I confess I was most +curious to see what manner of guests would come out of the crypt. + +The last stroke of twelve was followed by three raps on the crypt +door. I hastened to open it, and was amazed to find the stairway +leading to the tomb brilliantly lighted, and mounting it were a half +dozen or more female forms, clad in antique costumes--such as are seen +only in the canvases adorning the walls of churches and royal palaces. + +All the women were highly rouged and powdered; one had her eyebrows +penciled with black; another with minium, and another had hers tinted +with gold. All carried in their hands gaily colored wax tapers. They +were not in the least like the ghosts I had expected to see; and I was +not in the least frightened of them either! + +Young blood coursed through my veins then, and it flowed more swiftly +when my eyes rested on the beautiful visitors--even though they were +denizens of another world! + +The ghosts saw at once that it was not the old sacristan who had +admitted them; and believed it necessary to introduce themselves. The +first one said: + +"I am Jezebel, wife of King Ahab. Fetch the baptismal basin, I want to +perform my ablutions." + +The second announced: + +"I am Salome, daughter of Herodias. Bring me the golden ciborium." + +The third said: + +"I am Bathsheba. Bring the sacred oil, I want some for my hair." + +The fourth: + +"I am Delilah. Bring a chalice, I want a drink." + +The fifth: + +"I am Ashtoreth. Bring the censer, I want some perfume." + +"I am Tamar," announced the sixth. "Bring a lachrymatory, I want to +fill it with my tears." + +There were seven in the company. The seventh had on her head a crown, +and was clad in a robe of gold-brocade with a long train. "I am +Mylitta, Queen of Sheba," she announced in a voice that sounded like a +sweet-toned bell. "Bring me the pyx." + +Now, although the rest of the orders had confounded me with their +impiety, I had obeyed them, because I had been commanded to do so. +This last, however, made me hesitate; I could not lay sacrilegious +hands on so holy a vessel. + +I shuddered, and looked with horrified eyes at the commanding phantom. +Suddenly, she lifted her arm, and gave me a sound blow on the back, at +the same time screaming: + +"Don't you hear me, dolt? I want the pyx." Feeling convinced that +further hesitation to obey this visitant from another world would not +be well for me, I went to the altar, and with a violently trembling +hand lifted the sacred vessel from its accustomed place and brought +it to the lady. + +"Now, follow us," she commanded; and the procession from the crypt +passed on, I following in the rear, out of the chapel, up a winding +staircase, to a part of the castle I had not yet been in. We halted in +front of a gilded iron door; it opened in response to three raps, and +I saw into a long, magnificently furnished saloon. There were no +windows in it; a mysterious radiance shone from the niches in the +walk, which were hung with gold-embroidered silk. + +As we crossed the threshold, a heavy curtain across the further end of +the saloon parted, and several male figures, garbed in old-time +costumes--Turkish, Roman, Persian, Chaldean and Egyptian--came to meet +the women, who greeted them thus: + +"Welcome, Ahasuerus!" + +"Baal greets you, Nebuchadnezzar!" + +"Osiris, bless you, Pharaoh!" and so on, to Herod, Pilate, Nero, +Sardanapalus--in all of whom I recognized my sir knights. My +red-bearded patron answered to the name of Judas Iscariot. It was a +distinguished company! + +The greetings between the knights and the ladies ever, my patron +turned toward me. I was standing near the door--and said: + +"Malchus, come hither." + +I looked around to see who Malchus might be, but finding no one near +me, guessed that I too had been given a name suitable for the +occasion--that of the chief priests' servant, who lifted his hand +against the Savior. + +My patron's next words assured me that I had guessed correctly: + +"If your ears have really been cut off, Malchus--which they must have +been, since you can't hear, we must ask Ben Hanotzri to fasten them to +your head again!" + +I had not yet learned to whom they alluded when they mentioned that +name. + +After his last speech to me, my patron took my hand and led me up to +the knight they called Nebuchadnezzar. He had strings of costly pearls +wound in his beard and hair--as one sees in ancient Persian statues, +and pictures. + +"What has Malchus done that he deserves to be admitted to the service +of Baphomet?" he inquired. + +My patron answered for me: + +"He has been a heretic, an atheist, a thief, a murderer, a +counterfeiter, an adulterer--" + +"The very man for us!" interrupted Nebuchadnezzar--and then I +understood why my welcome to the conventual residence had been so +cordial! + +I was asked to take off my monk's habit, and given the dress of a +Roman lictor, in which character my first task was to remove the lid +from a sarcophagus that stood in a niche in the wall. + +I was horrified when I saw that it contained a wax image of our +Savior, as He descended from the cross, with the five gaping wounds in +His body, and the crown of thorns on His head. + +The knights gathered about the sarcophagus, and began a discussion, to +which I listened with fear and trembling. They spoke in Latin, and as +I am quite familiar with the language I understood every word. + +One of the knights asserted, that Christ was an eon of the God-father, +Jaldabaoth, who had sent Him to the earth, as the Messiah of the +Pneumatici, and to vanquish his, Jaldabaoth's, arch-enemy, +Ophiomorpho; that Christ, having failed for want of courage to +accomplish the task, Jaldabaoth had allowed Him to be crucified in +punishment; all of which was satisfactorily proved by Valentinus, the +Gnostic. Another of the knights insisted, that Christ was an imposter, +as was verified by Basilides of Alexandria, and Bardesane; and that +His true name was Ben Jonah Hanotzri. + +The earth seemed to sink from under my feet as I listened to this +blasphemous disputation. Though I am a wicked sinner, my reverence for +all things holy is boundless. I held my hands over my ears to shut out +the horrible words, but I could not help but hear some of them. + +The third knight maintained that the whole story of Jesus Christ was a +myth--He had never been born--had never died. The entire legend was an +emblem, a symbol that, like Brahma, and Isis, had never possessed a +material body; and that all images of Him were idols, like those which +represented Basal, or Dagon. + +I imagined that blasphemy could go no further; but the fourth knight +convinced me that even hyperbole may possess a superlative. + +The fourth speaker was Nebuchadnezzar; _he_ declared he could prove +from the Scriptures, that Jesus Christ was that Demiurge, who tortures +mankind with laws; renders unhappy and wretched the dwellers on earth; +prohibits all things that are pleasant and agreeable to the senses; +commands man to do what is good for his fellows, though nature's laws +prompt him to do that which is best for himself--be it good or evil +for his neighbor. Consequently, it was the plain duty of every +sentient being to defy this Demiurge, to disobey the laws promulgated +by him; to practice, instead of refrain from: cheating, robbery, +murder, forgery, intemperance, gluttony, debauchery; and that whoever +it was that had imposed on mankind the yoke of bondage, the so-called +virtues--were he eon, Demiurge, Ben Jonah Hanotzri, or Jesus Christ, +deserved persecution, scourging, and crucifixion. "Who then," he +demanded in concluding his sacrilegious harangue, "is the true +Messiah?" + +"Baphomet! Baphomet!" shouted the entire company of knights and ladies +as with one voice. + +Nebuchadnezzar then beat with his fists on a large tam-tam, upon which +the curtain at the end of the saloon was drawn back, revealing a +platform on which were two statues, life-size. The one on the right +was Baphomet, with the two faces, one masculine, the other feminine. A +huge serpent was wound twelve times about the statue; on each of the +rings thus formed was engraved one of the twelve signs of the zodiac. +One hand held the sun; the other the moon; the feet rested on a +globe, that rested in turn on the back of a crocodile. + +The other statue represented Mylitta. She was seated on a wild boar; a +crown of gleaming rubies and carbuncles adorned her brow. The knights +and ladies, one after the other, approached the statues, kissed the +shoulders of Baphomet, then the knees of Mylitta. + +After this ceremony, they joined hands, forming a circle around the +images, and began to dance to a song they chanted in a tongue unknown +to me. Before the dance began, I was told to fill all the sacred +vessels with the wine contained in several large jars near the +entrance. This was drank from time to time in toasts to Baphomet and +his companion image. + +If my horror was great, my curiosity was greater. I mastered the +former feeling, in order to see what would be the end of the +sacrilegious orgy. + +The wine jars were soon emptied, and I was ordered by Iscariot to +refill them in the cellar. On my return to the saloon, I found the +company seated around the table; when I approached the Queen of Sheba +to refill the chalice, from which she was drinking, she said to me: + +"Malchus, this crown of mine is so heavy; go down to the chapel and +fetch me the one from the head of the woman of Nazareth." + +I went cold from crown to sole at this request. + +There was in the chapel a beautiful image of our Lady, with a crown of +pearls and diamonds on her head--the gift of a pious princess. To this +image the devout folk of the surrounding region made pilgrimages on +holy days; and it was covered with all manner of costly gifts from the +grateful believers. And this was the "Woman of Nazareth," whose crown +I was ordered to fetch for the shameless wanton. + +"Didn't you hear the lady's order?" bawled my rufous-bearded patron, +thumping the table with his mailed fist. "Go at once to the chapel and +fetch the crown." + +If I had refused to obey I should have been killed; but I almost +fainted with horror while performing the errand. When I returned with +the jeweled crown to the hall of the worship of Baphomet, the demon of +licentious revelry had been loosed; the women, as well as the men, +were dancing with wild abandon. The Queen of Sheba snatched the crown +from my hand, adjusted it on her dishevelled locks, then returned to +the Phrygian dance, led by herself and Nebuchadnezzar; her hair stood +almost straight out from her head, as she whirled around and around, +so swiftly, that she and her partner seemed but one form with two +faces--like Baphomet whom they worshipped. After all had indulged in +the frantic revelry until they sank exhausted to the divans scattered +about the hall, I was ordered to collect the sacred vessels and return +them to the chapel, and then to go to my rest. + +"He must drink with me before he goes," cried Ashtoreth. + +"Here, Malchus!" she unloosed from her girdle a flask, and held it to +my lips. The flask was an exquisite piece of workmanship; it was made +of chased gold and richly set with Turkish fire opals. + +"This wine, Malchus," continued the lady, "is the juice of the grape +planted by Noah. The stone jar in which it has been preserved for so +many centuries stands beside the sarcophagus of my grand-mother +Semiramis, in Nineveh--drink, it will do you good." + +On my hesitating, she suddenly flung her arm around my neck, drew my +head close to her own, took a good pull from the flask, then pressed +her lips to mine, and forced me to swallow the wine from her mouth. + +Never have I tasted a sweeter, a more intoxicating, more stupefying +liquor! + +"Now drink," commanded the heathen queen, placing the flask in my +hand. I put it to my lips; but perceived at once that the wine had a +different taste from that I had received from her mouth. It was +bitter, and had a peculiar bouquet. I took only one swallow; but +pretended to send several more after the first one. + +"You may keep the flask as a remembrance," said the lady when I handed +it back to her. She flung it among the church vessels I had collected +together in the baptismal basin, the better to carry them back to the +chapel. + +I hurried from the saloon with my precious burden; carefully washed +all the vessels through three waters; then restored them to their +proper places in the chapel. When I had reverently placed the crown on +our Lady's head, I knelt at her feet, and penitently kissed the hem of +her robe. + +"Now what shall I do with this thing?" I inquired of myself, surveying +the wine-flask in my hand. "Where shall I hide it for safe-keeping? +It is worth a deal of money. It would bring me enough to buy an acre +of ground, or a mill with five wheels. I'll just fasten it securely, +here under my lictor's cuirass for the present." I did so; then, +without heeding where I was, I lay down, and almost immediately fell +into a deep, dreamless sleep. + +I don't know how long I slept; I was roused by some one shaking me +vigorously, and crying: "Wake up! wake up!" + +"Yes, yes, Iscariot," I muttered sleepily, "I'll get up directly." + +"O, Trifurcifer!" exclaimed a familiar voice; "the wretch calls me +Iscariot! Just wait, you drunken rogue! I'll sober you!" + +The thorough drenching I received from the large can of water thrown +over me, brought me to my senses. + +"Well, my pious Silenus!" growled the knight. "You are a fine fellow +to set on guard, aren't you? I order you to keep watch outside the +door of the crypt until midnight, and find you the next morning lying +inside the cellar door, with your mouth under an open faucet. We were +obliged to carry you up here--not knowing whether you were alive or +dead." + +"Where--where is the costly flask Ashtoreth gave me?" I asked, feeling +in vain about my body for the souvenir bestowed on me by the heathen +queen. There was neither flask nor leather cuirass, only the old +coarse habit I had inherited from my predecessor in office. + +"Come--come," angrily exclaimed the knight, shaking me again. "Stop +dreaming, and hasten to the chapel; it is time to ring the bell for +mass." + +I could hardly bring myself to believe that it was only a dream--it +seemed so real, but I could find no trace of midnight revelry +anywhere--indeed, I could not find the winding staircase, which I had +ascended from the chapel to the hall of the worship of Baphomet. And +yet I doubted. + +The chapel was filled at mass with devout worshippers. A solemn scene +was when the knights, garbed in coarse gray habits, and bare-footed, +crept on hands and knees to the stone coffin, in which lay a waxen +image of our Lord. They kissed the marble steps leading to the +platform on which the coffin stood, and when I saw them gather about +the holy image, my dream seemed so real that, in my excitement, I +would have cried in a loud voice to the kneeling congregation: + +"People! Christians! rise--rise! do not kneel in the presence of these +blasphemers!" had not the white dove on my shoulder pressed her wings +against my lips. + +Then the rich tones of the organ filled the chapel; and the women's +voices chanting the "Miserere" sounded so familiar--exactly like those +I had heard in my dream, singing bacchanalian songs--that I said to +myself: "That is Ashtoreth's voice--that is Delilah's, and that +deep-toned contralto is Jezebel's!" Again I saw the singers emerge +from the crypt and move toward the winding stair-case. Ah! it was a +dream after all! There was no winding staircase. Where I had seen the +open door, which gave egress to it, was a blank wall; and against it +the massive marble monument of the grand master, Arminius, who was +represented by a recumbent knight in full pontificals, with hands +devoutly crossed on his breast. + +Yes, it was only a dream! + +My heart was relieved of a heavy weight. It was such a relief to feel +certain that I had not taken the jeweled crown from our blessed Lady's +head; and that the Queen of Sheba had not worn it while dancing in +adoration of an idol. + +When the services were concluded, and I approached the image of our +Lady, to replenish the oil in the perpetual lamp at her feet, the +doubts as to my having dreamed the scenes of the bacchanalian revelry +came back in full force; some one had been tampering with the jeweled +crown on the head of the sacred image--it had been turned around! + +There was a pearl in front of the diadem, and a ruby in the back--both +as large as a hazel-nut. Today, the ruby gleamed like a coal of fire, +where always before the radiance of the pearl had vied with the pure +whiteness of the waxen brow. The crown had been reversed--I had not +dreamed after all! + +This day was, as I have mentioned before, Good Friday--the day of +universal fasting. The knights' observance of the day was so rigid +that they would not even administer to a dying novice the medicines +necessary to alleviate his suffering, because they were composed of +manna and hydromel, both of which, containing nutriment, were +considered food. Even I fasted the entire day--of a necessity, +though, for there was nothing served in the refectory! + +My elastic conscience would have permitted me to partake--sparingly, +of course!--of food; and I regretted that I had not possessed the +forethought to lay aside from the banquet of the preceding night (if +it really had not been a dream) the legs of a three thousand-year-old +quail! + +But, had I done so, they would doubtless have vanished with the pretty +flask given me by the heathen queen. When I made my duty-rounds as +usual on Good Friday evening, I found my red-bearded patron waiting +for me in the sacristy. He said to me: + +"This evening, Malchus, you will watch as before at the door of the +crypt--but see that you stop there, and keep awake! Don't let me find +you again in the cellar tomorrow morning." + +I said to myself: "I shall be very sure not to go to sleep this time!" + +The guests arrived earlier this evening. The clock in the tower had +not yet ceased striking eleven, when the three knocks sounded on the +crypt door. + +The ancient beauties did not think it necessary to introduce +themselves as before, but they gave me the same orders for the sacred +vessels. + +When I moved toward the altar, in obedience to the Queen of Sheba's +behest, she called after me: "Don't look back, Malchus; if you do +Satan will fly away with you!" + +I did not look backward; I had no need. When I held the gold lid of +the chalice in front of me, it served the same purpose as a mirror, +and in it I saw Jezebel walk up to the Arminius monument, lay her hand +against the head of the recumbent statue, and thrust it to one side, +whereupon the entire mass of marble swung noiselessly forward, +revealing an opening in the wall through which I saw a winding +staircase. + +Pretending not to have seen anything, or to notice anything unusual in +the opening in the wall, I followed the ladies up the stair with the +articles they bade me bring after them. + +The long table in Baphomet's hall was again loaded with all sorts of +eatables: baked meats, pastry, sweets, fruits. "Meats!" I exclaimed to +myself, "meats on Good Friday, when all Christians, even the +Calvinists, fast and read their prayer-books to find consolation for +their souls and forgetfulness for their stomachs!" And what a feast it +was! One might well have believed that hosts and guests had not eaten +anything for two or three thousand years! Had I been endowed with the +hands of an Aegeon I could not have supplied the viands and wine as +rapidly as the hungry and thirsty revelers demanded them of me. I +seemed to be continually running to, or returning from, the +wine-cellar. + +Similar scenes to those enacted the preceding night followed the +banquet; only with variations one would hardly believe the human mind +capable of inventing. + +The Queen of Sheba was even more reckless and abandoned than before; +she ordered me to bring her the mantle from the shoulders of the +"Woman of Nazareth." I hesitated again to perform the sacrilegious +errand, but a sound blow on my back from Iscariot's fist sent me +hurrying to the chapel. + +When I returned with the mantle the queen was in need of it, for she +was not to be distinguished from the nude goddess on the back of the +wild boar. I was so ashamed for her, I could not lift my eyes when I +handed her the mantle. Ashtoreth laughed heartily at me, and +exclaimed: + +"Here, Malchus, I will drink to Baphomet from this flask; then you +shall drink to me." + +She drank first, then handed the flask to me; it was the same one she +had presented to me the night before. + +I had learned something since then! I knew there were trick flasks +with two compartments, which might contain two different kinds of +liquor without becoming mixed. If the neck of the flask were turned to +the right, one of the compartments would be opened; the contents of +the other would flow, were the neck turned to the left. + +When the heathen queen placed the flask to her lips I had watched her +closely, and had seen that her wrist turned slightly to the right. +This movement I took good care to copy when I drank, and, as I had +guessed, the wine was deliciously sweet. + +I took a good, long pull before removing the flask from my lips. + +"Very good wine, isn't it?" observed Ashtoreth. + +"A trifle bitter," I replied, making a wry face, upon which she +filliped my nose with her finger, and exclaimed, laughingly: + +"You don't know what is good, Malchus! The wine in this flask is some +of that left from the marriage feast at Cana. You may keep this flask, +too; put it with the one I gave you last night." + +This remark set the entire blasphemous crew into a roar of merriment. + +"You may remove these vessels now," said Nebuchadnezzar, when the +laughter had subsided, "and fetch us some _spiritus vini_." + +I removed the unclean church vessels and brought from the cellar a +large stone jug of _spiritus vini_. The simple juice of the grape was +not strong enough for the drunken demons; they wanted the more fiery +brandy. + +An idea came into my head as I was going to the cellar. The _spiritus +vini_ was made in Russia; the mouths of the jugs containing it were +sealed so skillfully that only those persons who understood the secret +could remove the cork. I had learned this secret while with the +haidemaken. + +I opened the jug in the cellar, poured out some of the brandy, and +filled it up with the drugged wine in the flask intended for me. Then +I sealed up the jug and took it to the banquet hall. + +"Did you drink any of it?" demanded the knight whom the rest called +Herod, when I set the jug on the table. + +"I swear by Baphomet I did not!" I replied truthfully. + +"Then open the jug," commanded Pilate. + +I made believe to pull and tug and twist the cork--I could not remove +it from the neck. At last Ahab snatched the jug impatiently from my +hands, and after trying in vain for several moments to accomplish +what I had failed to do, he set it in a silver basin and struck at the +neck with his sword. The jug was broken, of course, and the liquor +filled the basin. Then, Bathsheba and Tamar flung into it figs, +raisins and orange peel; Delilah took a lighted taper from the +candelabra and set fire to the huge dish of crambamboli; at the same +moment all the other lights in the hall were extinguished. + +Nebuchadnezzar now began to ladle out the burning liquor into goblets +which he passed to the rest of the company. The flame dispensing king, +with his four horns, the fire-sipping forms around him, their faces +blanched to a death-like pallor by the green-blue light of the burning +brandy, formed a group that excelled in hideousness every illustration +I had yet seen of the _danse macabre_. + +I fled in horror and disgust from the infernal orgy, fully convinced +that I was not dreaming this time. I was determined to make my escape +from the abode of demons and idol worshippers. + +I said to myself: "If these human beings--that they are not phantoms I +am convinced--came to the castle through the crypt, then I, another +human being, may go out the way they entered." + +I took my lamp, descended to the crypt, and discovered that one of the +memorials, which lined the walls, had been shoved to one side. An +examination of this memento to a deceased knight revealed that it was +not a slab of marble, but a sheet of tin painted to imitate the more +solid material. Nor was the niche it covered a tomb, but the outlet +to a narrow stairway that ascended in steep spirals from the crypt, +opposite to the one which descended to it from the chapel. + +[Illustration: "I took my lamp, descended to the crypt"] + +I mounted seventeen steps, when further progress was barred by a +statue--that of Saint Sebastian. The heroic martyr was represented +bound to a tree, his body filled with arrows, as he had appeared when +being tortured to death by the commands of the godless Diocletian. + +I had seen this statue often enough by day in the reception-hall of +the castle; then it stood in its niche face toward the room; here, at +the head of the secret stairway from the crypt, it stood with its face +also toward me. "Surely," said I to myself, "St. Sebastian must know +something about the secret outlet." + +And he did. + +I began to examine the niche; then the statue. I noticed that three of +the arrows in the breast were brass, and that the one in the middle +was brighter than the other two, as if it had been taken hold of +frequently. I mounted the pedestal, and, with one arm around the saint +to steady myself, I tried to turn the brighter arrow. After a little, +it yielded to the pressure of my hand, and the statue, as well as the +niche, began to turn slowly on an unseen axis, and in a few moments I +saw the starlit sky above me. + +Then I turned the arrow in the opposite direction, and found myself +returned to my prison. I had solved the mystery of the phantoms' +appearance in the chapel! I returned to the chapel and examined the +mechanism concealed under the Arminius monument. What would be the +result, I asked myself, if I turned the head of the grand master back +to its proper position? + +I did so, and the monument swung back to its place, concealing the +entrance to the hall of Baphomet. + +By this time the blasphemers in the hall were sound asleep, and heaven +alone knew when they would waken! And when they did, they would not be +able to get out of their Satan's temple, for it had neither door nor +windows. + +No one would know what had become of them--whither they had gone. When +they found a way out of their prison--if ever--I should be far enough +away over mountain and valley! + +I sketched a rapid plan of escape: I would go to the Archbishop of +Aix-la-Chapelle and lay information against the knights of Baphomet; +and, in order to gain credence for my story, I would take with me the +desecrated church vessels. No devout Christian should drink again from +the chalice defiled by the lips of Salome and Delilah; should have his +offspring christened from the basin polluted by Nebuchadnezzar; should +receive the holy water from the aspergill, defiled by being used to +stir the infernal mixture concocted by Tamar and Bathsheba; not one of +the vessels should be used again, until they had been thoroughly +cleansed and re-consecrated by the proper authorities. + +"A most praiseworthy determination! You proved yourself a true +Christian!" exclaimed the prince, deeply incensed by the impiety of +the _dornenritter_, the mere hearing of whose licentious conduct made +a godly man feel the need of absolution. "You did what any honest and +respectable Christian would have done in your place!" + +"Didn't I say so?" in triumph exclaimed the mayor, beating the table +with his staff. "Didn't I say the rascal would talk himself out of the +church robbery? Instead of sentencing him for the crime, he is +commended for it." + +Hereupon the prince and the mayor became involved in so animated a +dispute that each sprang from his chair and begun to pound with his +fists on the table with such vigor that the candle-sticks, ink-horn +and sand-box danced quite a lively jig. + +The argument continued until his highness suddenly remembered what was +becoming to his dignity; then he rapped the court to order and +announced that the hearing was adjourned until the next day. + + * * * * * + +The following morning Hugo resumed his confession: + +I found a stout leather bag in the sacristy, into which I put all the +church vessels of gold and silver which had been defiled in the +bacchanalian orgies. I did not forget the Virgin's diadem, either. + +My left shoulder ached dreadfully under the heavy load, but, because +the white dove I told you about was perched on the other shoulder, I +would not shift the bag from side to side, which would have made it +easier to carry. The revolving Saint Sebastian enabled me to escape +from the castle, but I still had a high bastion to scale. I found the +rope ladder by means of which the women had climbed over, and very +soon I was on the high road, travelling as swiftly as I could for the +heavy bag, toward the harbor-- + +"Hold!" interrupted the chair, "I've caught you at last! If what you +have told us is true, why didn't you go at once with the bag of church +property to the burgomaster of the city, and tell him of your +discovery at the castle? The impious revellers might have been taken +into custody that same night." + +"Yes--yes--" the prince made haste to add, "why didn't you do that, +instead of thinking it necessary to escape on a ship?" + +"I believe I can explain my action to the satisfaction of the +high-born gentlemen," deferentially responded the prisoner. "You will +understand at once why I wanted to take a ship, when I tell you the +name of the city. It was Stettin. It was in possession, at that time, +of Gustavus Adolphus, whose heretic generals cared very little whether +the Blessed Virgin or Baphomet were worshipped in the Catholic +churches, which had already been desecrated more than once by +themselves. Indeed, the relations between the knights and the heretics +was most friendly, because the former had joined forces with the +Swedes, and had fought bravely against the imperial beleaguerers. They +were loyal comrades in arms with the heretics. That is why I deemed it +wiser to escape from the city--" + +"And you were right--quite right!" with unmistakable approval in his +tone, commented the prince. "The Swedish heretics were not the proper +authorities to settle so sacred and important a matter. The _furtum +sacrosanctorum_ may be stricken from the list of indictments." + +"As may all that follow!" growled the mayor into his beard. "Now we +shall hear how this innocent criminal disposes of the _homicidium_!" + + + + +PART V. + +THE HOMICIDE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +ON BOARD MYNHEER'S SHIP. + + +A convincing proof of my honest and pious intentions is, that +notwithstanding I was in great need of money--I hadn't a penny to my +name!--it never occurred to me to help myself from the alms-box at the +door of the chapel, which, at such seasons like Passion Week, was +always well filled. + +I had no "motive" to carry the box with me--it had not been defiled by +sacrilegious hands. + +I still wore the dress in which I had masqueraded as a lictor: the +Roman balten, the leathern caliga, the chalizeh sandals with straps, +and the ancient Hebrew pallium. Anywhere else in the civilized world a +man garbed as I was would have been arrested as a vagabond lunatic; +but I was not molested in Stettin. + +That city, under Swedish domination, was a free port; the mouth of the +Oder was crowded with vessels of all sorts, from all countries. The +quay swarmed with negroes, Spaniards, Turks, Chinese--all +nationalities, all the costumes of the globe were represented. +Consequently no one, however striking may have been his garb, would +have attracted special attention. Nor did I, as I passed through the +crowd in search of a vessel that was lifting her anchor, preparatory +to sailing at once. + +Chance led me to a Dutch ship. + +The owner of the craft, Mynheer Ruissen, paid no attention to me until +after we were out of the harbor, and were scudding before a favorable +wind. Then, as he was passing along the deck, his eyes fell on me, +where I was sitting near the rail, with my bag by my side. + +He stopped in front of me, thrust his hands into the pockets of his +coat, and, after a moment's close scrutiny, addressed me in a language +I had never heard before. He tried several different tongues--oriental +by their sound--with the same result. I could only indicate by shaking +my head that I did not understand him. At last he became impatient, +and exclaimed in Flemish: + +"Potztausend-wetter! What language does this fellow speak, I wonder?" + +I understood him then, and told him I could speak Dutch, and that I +was not a heathen from the Orient, but a native of Europe, and a +Christian like himself. + +"And where are you going, may I ask?" + +"Wherever your ship will take me," I answered. + +"Have you the money to pay for your passage?" + +"Not a solitary batz." + +"Have you anything of value?" + +"I have a beautiful golden flask set with precious gems, which I will +give you as a pledge, or in payment--as you prefer." + +"Did you come by it honestly?" + +"I will take my oath that I did not steal it. A beautiful woman gave +it to me as a souvenir. May I sink with this ship to the bottom of the +sea, if every word I tell you is not true!" + +"Na, Na,! you needn't mind swearing in that way," hastily interposed +Mynheer. "I don't want my ship to go to the bottom of the sea! Is the +flask worth enough to pay for your passage to Hamburg?" + +"It would fetch more than your whole ship!" + +He paused a moment, then asked again: + +"What have you got in that bag?" + +"Gold and silver vessels, and jewels." + +"Are they souvenirs too? There, there, you needn't mind swearing +again! I won't arrest you--it's no concern of mine how you came by +them." + +I told him then that if he would take me to his private cabin, I would +tell him how I came to have the valuables in my possession. + +He led me to his cabin, where he bade me place the leather bag in the +corner. Then he ordered one mug of beer to be brought; filled a +porcelain pipe--about the size of a thimble--with tobacco, thrust the +stem between his lips, but did not light it--I dare say, because he +feared it might burn out before he had emptied the beer mug, from +which he took an occasional sip while I was telling him my story. + +When I had told him of the scandalous scenes in the castle, and of my +escape with the denied vessels, which I had decided to take to the +archbishop, Mynheer removed the pipe from his lips, deliberately +knocked the tobacco into the palm of his hand and emptied it into the +tobacco-pouch. Then he drained the last sip of beer from the mug, +thrust his hands into his pockets and said: + +"Well, my son, you have acted cleverly, and stupidly at the same time. +To fetch the things away with you, was clever--very! But, to decide +that you--by yourself--a poor unknown devil, would be believed by the +archbishop, when you accused so powerful an order as the +_Dornenritter_ of blasphemy and sacrilege, was stupid in the extreme. +Nobody will believe your story; you will be ridiculed, and told that +you dreamed all these things." + +"But," I interposed, "how could I have dreamed things, no living being +ever saw with his eyes, or heard with his ears? How could I have +dreamed the Baphomet worship? How could I have dreamed names like +Jaldabaoth and Ophiomorpho, and that disquisition around the +sarcophagus?" + +"Why, you stupid lad! Don't you see they will say you have been +reading the secret pamphlet which was published by the opponents of +the Ancient Order of Templars? But, what was permitted to King Philip +will not be tolerated in you; you will not be allowed to tell stories +about Baphomet idolatry, and serpent worship. And, suppose you are +allowed to tell what you 'saw with your eyes and heard with your +ears'--you have no witness to prove that what you say is true." + +"Oh, haven't I?" I cried, triumphantly producing from the leather bag +the pyx with its contents. "Here is my witness: this sacred wafer, +defiled by the idol-worshippers. See! here in the center of it, is the +print of Ashtoreth's slipper heel, where she trod it under foot. You +see, it is directly over the banner of the _Agnus Dei_?" + +Mynheer deliberately adjusted his large spectacles on the bridge of +his nose, and scrutinized the wafer. + +"_Donnerwetter_!" he growled, "you are right, lad, this is the symbol +of Baphomet: a half-moon, a double-headed serpent curved to form the +figure 8. Hm, hm--you have acted in a praiseworthy manner after all! +By bringing this wafer with you, you have saved the souls of many +devout Christians from eternal damnation, in that you have hindered +them from kneeling in adoration today at mass before this symbol of +Baphomet! Indeed, half Stettin will owe thanks to you if, instead of +damnation, it wins salvation! Your brave and valiant deed will save +from the flames of hell at least twelve thousand souls! Therein lies +the wisdom of your action; the unwisdom will come to the fore when you +ask yourself: 'What shall I do with these desecrated vessels?' + +"You thought to arraign an entire order--nay, two, for those wanton +females must belong to an order of some sort. To accuse a religious +body is always extremely dangerous--specially so, if the order be +composed of women. I am afraid it will result in your ruin; you will +most likely be arrested for stealing church property--the punishment +for which is death at the stake. What will your word be worth against +the denials of the knights? Do you imagine that any trace of their +scandalous revelry will be found? Not by a good deal! You will be +pronounced a wicked calumniator; unless you want them to cut off your +tongue, you will keep it silent between your teeth!" + +"Then what shall I do with these things?" I asked in perplexity, +giving the bag a thrust with my foot. "Shall I take them back to the +castle?--" + +"That"--interrupted Mynheer--"would be the stupidest thing you could +do. The sir knights would, beyond a doubt, have you walled into some +corner of the castle, where you might await the resurrection with what +patience you could summon!" + +"Then, what would you advise me to do?" I asked again. + +"Well, my son, _I_ say, that what you have in your possession belongs +to you; accept it as the gift of heaven--though you acquired it from +Satan. When we get to Hamburg I will direct you where to find an +honest man whose business it is to relieve pious folk of any treasure +they may have taken from Satan--or, found where it was not lost. I am +acquainted with a Christian of that sort; you need not be afraid to +trust him--he is honest as a Quaker, and would not cheat anyone--on +Sunday! I think I may trust you to dispose of your treasure as +cleverly as you--appropriated it, which, after all, is the chief +secret of trade!" + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE MOO-CALF. + + +I dare say your highness, and gentlemen of the court, have heard a +good many stories about the moo-calf? I shall abstain from expressing +just here an opinion of the mysterious creature as, by so doing, I +should anticipate the denouement of one of my most remarkable +adventures. I think almost every dweller in Coblentz has heard of the +moo-calf's strange doings; for there are numerous records in the +chronicles of the city, of its mysterious appearance and behavior. + +The moo-calf ordinarily appears in those cities where the Jews have +multiplied excessively, and attained to power. + +It is a well-known fact that a calf is the meekest, the most innocent +of animals, that it has never been known to assault anyone, that it +would be the least likely of all the animal kingdom to wield a +boundless tyranny over an entire community. Therefore, I do not +believe _all_ the terrifying tales I have heard about the moo-calf. Do +any of the gentlemen here believe them? + +Several members of the court admitted that they believed the tales; +some thought a portion might be true, others were non-committal. So +much time was given to the discussion, that the chair was at last +obliged to interfere. He said to the prisoner--after rapping +impatiently for order: + +"You are not here to ask questions, but to be questioned. Now let us +hear what _you_ have to say about the moo-calf?" + +Hugo bowed and resumed his confession: + +When we arrived at Hamburg, Mynheer so managed matters, that it was +evening when he and I went ashore. With the bag of valuables on my +back, I tramped after him to the suburb of St. Paul, to seek in the +winding, and zig-zag streets of the "Hamberger Berg," the house of the +honest Christian, who would relieve my back, and incidentally my mind, +of the load of treasure. + +We pushed our way with whole skins through a confusion of menagerie +booths, puppet-shows, jugglery and rope-dancing exhibitions, which +their proprietors importuned us to patronize, avoided with some +difficulty the crowds of tipsy sailors, and at last arrived in front +of the house we were seeking. + +The name of the owner was Meyer--a by no means rare cognomen in +Germany! + +He was a Lutheran, as eleven-twelfths of the residents of Hamburg are. +They alone possess the rights of citizenship. + +Mynheer Ruissen took Herr Meyer to one side, and communicated to him +what business had brought me to Hamburg, whereupon Herr Meyer without +further ceremony invited me to sup with him. + +"I hope"--here impatiently interrupted the chair--"you don't intend to +waste more of our time by an enumeration and description of the +various dishes you partook of?" + +"No, your honor, though it would not take long to tell what we had for +supper. Herr Meyer placed before me nothing but bread, cheese and +water. He could not say enough in praise of the bread and cheese, and +he boasted that the water, which he said was from the Elias fountain, +possessed the most remarkable properties. While I ate, he examined in +turn each of the vessels I had taken from the bag and placed on the +table, exclaiming over every piece, and making a peculiar noise with +his tongue against the inside of his upper teeth: + +"A baptismal basin! Tse-tse-tse! How could you dare to take this? A +censer! tse-tse-tse! Young man, did it never occur to you that you +were defying Satan when you put this into your bag? A communion-cup! +tse-tse-tse! I should think your soul would be oppressed with its +weight of sin! And--actually!--the Holy Virgin's diadem! Woe-woe-woe, +to you, miserable sinner!" I could listen no longer to his lugubrious +comments: + +"Oh, hush, Master Meyer," I interrupted, "what use to talk like that? +You needn't think to frighten me with your lamentations. I am a +Lutheran like yourself--rather let us talk about the value of these +things: What will you give for the whole lot? But, before we talk +business, bring me something more palatable to eat and drink. Your +bread and cheese and water are not to my taste." + +"Very good, you shall have something else," with sudden alacrity +responded Master Meyer, whose opinion of me was evidently improving. +He hurried to the kitchen, and soon returned with some salt fish, and +a jug of good cider, which he placed before me. + +Then he proceeded to appraise the church vessels, and the diadem, +telling me the while that I ought to be thankful his dear old friend +Mynheer Ruissen had led me to him. How easily I might have fallen into +the hands of the papists, who would certainly have imprisoned me--and +perhaps put me to death; or into those of the Jews, who had swarmed +from Spain into Hamburg, and were ruining all honest tradesmen. The +rascally Hebrews would offer only ridiculously low prices for articles +they suspected had been acquired by means not altogether legitimate, +and would give in payment for them counterfeit money. And, wasn't the +cod-fish I was eating most appetizing? + +After he had examined my treasures two or three times, he said he +would give me six hundred thalers for the lot--and that I might drink +all of the cider into the bargain. + +"See here, Master Meyer," I replied, "your fish is so salty it makes +one want to drink continually, and your cider is so sour, I would +rather not eat your fish than to have to quench my thirst with the +cider. And, moreover, I will take my treasures to the Jews' quarter, +where I shall no doubt find some one who will give more than a paltry +six hundred thalers to a poor shipwrecked traveller for a lot of +articles that are worth at least twenty times the sum you offer." + +At these words my worthy host beat his hands together above his head, +and exclaimed: + +"My dear son! how will you find your way to the Jews' quarter at this +late hour? It would be very unwise--nay, dangerous, for you to attempt +it. Don't you know that the moo-calf makes its appearance about this +time?" + +I shrugged my shoulders to indicate that I was not afraid of a +moo-calf. + +"But, my dear son, you don't know what a terrible creature the +moo-calf is. It has become even more terrible and ferocious since the +Jews have multiplied to such numbers in Hamburg. These Spanish Jews +understand all sorts of witch-craft. It was they who discovered that +if a young calf is fed on human blood instead of milk, it will become +savage as a lion. This is the sort of moo-calf they have turned loose +in the Hamberger Berg. It roams through the streets at night, +terrifying to death every person it meets, and scatters the watchmen +in all directions. It tears the bells from the house doors; it has +teeth so sharp that it can snap off the pole of a halberd as easily as +if it were a pipe-stem; and its tongue is rough as a cloth-shearer's +brush. It roars like a lion, bellows like a wild bull, snorts like a +whole herd of wild horses; clatters through the streets like a luggage +van, clappers like a fulling-mill, and crows like a cock that is +possessed. It takes special delight in pursuing honest men and fathers +of families, who suspect their wives and daughters of adventure, and +if it chances to catch one of them, _he_ will not very soon forget the +moo-calf--that is if he escapes with his head to remember it! Another +favorite trick with the calf is: to steal upon a pair of lovers, and +roar at them with such a terrible voice that they die of fright--" + +"And what sort of looking beast is this moo-calf?" I interrupted. + +"Why, no one can tell what it looks like, my son. Those who have been +unfortunate enough to encounter it on the street have had a stream of +fire blown into their eyes from the beast's nostrils, and they were +not able to see for weeks afterward. The man who is brave enough to +thrust his head out the window when he hears the moo-calf bellow, will +be sure to regret his curiosity, for his head will swell to such a +size that he will not be able for several days to get it back through +the window. That is why no one is able to tell what the monster is +like. I only know that it has the power to stretch its neck to such a +length that it can look into the upper windows of a house. Oh, I can +assure you, it is a most horrible creature!" + +I had had ample time, while he was descanting on the moo-calf's +terrible doings, to replace my treasures in the bag. + +"Then there really is such a monster?" I observed, shouldering my +load. + +He swore by all he held dear, that the moo-calf not only existed, but +that it roamed the streets of Hamburg almost every night. + +"Have you any desire to make a bet with me?" I asked. + +"A bet?--on what?" + +"That I can eat a whole calf at a sitting--especially when I have a +ravenous appetite as now. Fetch me your moo-calf and I'll devour him, +hoofs, hide and tail!" + +I dropped the bag from my shoulder to the table, drew forth the short +Roman sword, which was part of my lictor's costume, and sharpened it +on the steel. + +"Now, fetch on your moo-calf," I repeated, again shouldering the bag +and making as if I were going to quit the house. + +"And you really are not afraid of the moo-calf?" exclaimed Master +Meyer, placing himself in front of me, believing I intended to pursue +my way. "I see you are a headstrong lad, but, as I have taken a fancy +to you, I don't want you to run any risks. Come, make up your mind to +stop here until morning. We will agree on a price for your treasures; +and then have supper together." + +"No, thanks," I returned, my face still toward the street door. "I +don't want any more dried codfish. The season of fasting is +over--besides, I am no priest, and if I were I shouldn't object to +wine." + +"You shall have whatever you want, my son. Put down your bag, and make +yourself at home." And he hurried into the kitchen to give his orders. + +After several minutes he returned, clad in an entire suit of new +clothes; on his arm he carried another handsome suit, which he begged +me to accept as a present from him, adding that I would find in the +pocket of the coat in a purse the sum he was willing to pay for my +treasures, and with which he knew I would be quite satisfied. + +When I opened the purse I found in it fifty doubloons, and a slip of +paper. + +"What is this?" I inquired, holding the paper toward him. + +"A promissory note for two-thousand thalers, payable in three months." + +I knew very well that a note of hand was as good as money, and was +quite satisfied with the trade--only, the time of payment was too long +distant to suit me. + +"It is a Hamburg custom, my son," replied Master Meyer when I +mentioned my objections. "The money must have time to mature." + +I was obliged to be satisfied, besides, fifty doubloons would be quite +enough to keep me in food and raiment for three months. + +The supper Master Meyer now placed before me was of a sort I would not +have believed his larder capable of supplying--judging from the fare +he had offered me first. There were pasties of all sorts, game, +confections and a choice selection of wines. Of the last I took +special care not to imbibe too freely. Master Meyer's family joined us +at the repast; there were three daughters, comely, and of marriageable +age; and a son. The latter, I was informed, was a student at the +university. I thought him rather advanced in years for a student! + +There was not the least resemblance between the three young women; no +one would have taken them to be sisters. They were merry creatures, +sang and played on the harp and the guitar. + +One of them, a blonde, was very pretty. I noticed that she stole +frequent glances toward me, and when her eyes met mine she would blush +and smile enchantingly. + +I was still young, and not at all averse to a flirtation. Moreover, I +was a widower. I had had enough experience with the fairer sex, +however, to teach me that it would be well to be on my guard. + +Master Meyer had introduced me to his family as "Junker Hermann." The +blonde daughter's name was Agnes. She was a sentimental and romantic +maid. I sat by her side at supper, and was so flustered by the glances +from her blue eyes, I could think of nothing more sensible to say to +her than: "that when the dear Lord should bestow on me a family, I +would have just such spoons as her father's"--with which we were +eating the chocolate cream--and that my own and my wife's crests +should be engraved on the handles. This remark led me to observe +further that I thought the initial letters of Hermann and Agnes would +form a pretty monogram. My fair neighbor could not see just how the +letters might be arranged. I told her it was very simple: the A need +only be inserted between the two uprights of the H to make the union +perfect. + +I wanted the Meyers to believe that I was a genuine cavalier, so I +said to the father--after I had emptied my third glass of wine: + +"That ring on your finger pleases me very much. I should like to buy +it." + +"Well, you see, Junker Hermann," he returned slowly, turning the ring +on his finger, "this is a costly piece of jewelry. The carbuncle alone +is worth fifty thalers; besides, the ring is an heirloom. I wouldn't +sell it for seventy thalers." + +"Would you sell it for eighty?" + +"I wouldn't let anyone but you, Junker Hermann, have it at any price! +As you seem to have taken such a fancy to it, then take it, in God's +name, for eighty thalers." + +"All right," said I. "Just keep the eighty thalers out of the +two-thousand you owe me." + +At mention of the two-thousand thalers Agnes helped me to a second +dish of chocolate cream. + +"I will draw up a note for the amount," said her father. "We are only +human, and no one can tell what may happen to me." + +"Write whatever you like and I'll scrawl my signature to it," I +replied disdainfully. + +When he had quitted the room, Agnes whispered to me: + +"I am very sorry father sold his ring. It is a talisman in our family, +and was given to my mother as a wedding-present." + +"And suppose"--I whispered back to her--"my buying it does not take it +out of the family?" + +"I don't quite understand you," she replied, casting down her eyes, +and blushing. + +"I shall make my meaning clearer when I may speak to you alone." + +"That can be arranged very easily, Junker Hermann; when the family +have gone to their rooms for the night, we can meet in the bow-window +chamber--then you can tell me what you have to say." + +The father now returned with the note to the dining-room. It was for +one-hundred thalers, that being the sum--principal and interest--I +should owe Master Meyer at the expiration of three months. + +I did not think it worth while to waste words over the usurious +interest charged; but signed my name with cavalier _sangfroid_, and +the ring was transferred from Master Meyer's hand to my own. As my +hand was considerably larger than his, which was exceedingly thin and +bony, I could only get the ring on the second joint of my little +finger. + +Just at that moment Rupert, the elderly student, must have made a +teasing remark to his sister; for the three at once set upon him, and +began to belabor him with their fists, and cry out that he should not +have any more wine that evening. + +"Very well," he exclaimed, laughing, "then I'll go to the tavern and +get some." + +He invited me to accompany him; saying that we should find at the +tavern some good company and bad wine. I excused myself on the plea +that I was very tired, and wanted to rest. He departed alone, and we +heard him singing, and knocking against the doors with his stick, as +he staggered down the street. + +Good-nights were now exchanged, and each one went to his or her room. +I waited with considerable impatience until the house had become +quiet; then I stole on tip-toe to the bow-window chamber. This +apartment is in the top story of the house, and projects several feet +over the street. A bright moon illumined the cozy chamber, so that a +lamp was not necessary. + +I had not long to wait; the soft rustle of feminine garments very soon +announced the coming of my charming Agnes. + +I met her at the door, took her hand in mine, and drew her into the +bow-window. She asked me without further ceremony, to explain how the +ring I had bought from her father could remain in their family now +that I was the owner of it. + +"Nothing easier in the world! my dear Agnes," I made answer. "I need +only to slip it on your finger as an engagement ring." + +She understood my explanation, and allowed me to place on the third +finger of her left hand the ring for which I owed one-hundred thalers. +After this ceremony I asked--as was natural--if I might seal the +bargain with a kiss-- + +"Ha! I knew that was coming!" interrupted the chair; "we don't care to +hear that sort of evidence." + +"Why," pacifically interposed the prince, "Why, a kiss is nothing out +of the way." + +"_One_ kiss would not be; but it would not stop at one; a second and a +third--and heaven only knows how many more would follow, and-- + +"Pray allow me to contradict your honor," respectfully interrupted the +prisoner. "There was only one. I will admit that I was about to help +myself to more, but I was hindered--" + +"By the white dove on your shoulder, of course!" interrupted the +mayor's ironical tones. + +"No, your honor, not the white dove. Just at the moment I was going to +take the second kiss, there came from the street directly underneath +the bow-window, the most unearthly sounds--as if a herd of angry +elephants were bellowing for their supper. I never heard so hideous a +noise. It was a mixture of the squealing of a wild boar; the neighing +of a horse; the blare of a trumpet, and the clattering of a heavy +wagon over cobbles." + +"Jesu Maria! the moo-calf!" shrieked my terror-stricken betrothed, +tearing herself from my arms. The next instant she had vanished, with +my hundred-thaler ring. + +Furious with rage, and not a little fear, I sprang to the window, +flung back the sash, and thrust out my head--never once thinking of +the dire result which would follow such action: my head swollen to the +size of a barrel. + +However, that did not happen to me; but enough pepper was blown into +my eyes to prevent me, most effectually, from seeing anything on the +earth, or in the heaven! I howled with pain and rage--compared to the +sounds which came from my throat, the moo-calf's bellowing was the +weakly puling of an infant. + +But, such was the fear of my host and his daughters, of the fiendish +brute, that not one of them ventured to come to my assistance. I was +obliged to grope my way unaided to my room, and to wash the pepper +from my blinded eyes as best I could. + +While I was thus engaged Rupert returned home, and joined his howls to +mine; he said the moo-calf had attacked him, and almost done for him. +His face and clothes were proof of a rough and tumble encounter with +something: the former was scratched and bleeding, and his garments +looked as though he had had a scuffle with an enraged eagle. His bed +and mine were in the same room, and neither of us slept very much that +night. The student was frightfully ill; he kept muttering constantly +something about the moo-calf; while I sat by the basin until daylight, +mopping my eyes with water. + +The cursed moo-calf! Why didn't he bellow before I gave my costly ring +into Agnes' keeping? It was not at all likely that I should soon have +another opportunity to be alone with her! + +The next morning Master Meyer gave me to understand that the duties of +hospitality would not be extended beyond one day; and that I would +better seek a lodging more suitable to the station of a young man of +quality. He would be glad to have me visit him frequently; and if I +wanted to be amused Rupert, who was perfectly familiar with all the +ways of the city, would be delighted to be my guide. + +I did not see the lovely Agnes again alone; so I made up my mind to +write, and tell her how much I thought of her. I question now, whether +any of the numerous letters I sent her through Rupert, ever reached +her hands. + +From that day, there was no end to amusements. Rupert was the very lad +to make me acquainted in the shortest time with all the resorts of +entertainment, and many companions of questionable reputation. I was +introduced to a Spanish hidalgo; a Scotch laird; a Brazilian planter; +a Wallachian boyar--that their patents of nobility grew on the same +genealogical tree with my own I suspected from the very first. They +were, individually and collectively, hearty drinkers, reckless +gamblers, and fearless fighters. That the money they squandered with +lavish hand was not obtained through honest means I was confident, and +I was equally confident that the entire crew looked on me as their own +special prey. + +But, I taught them a thing or two before very long! + +At our drinking-bouts, I always left them under the table. While with +the Templars I learned a valuable secret: how to drink all the wine +you wanted without becoming intoxicated. I shall not reveal this most +valuable secret here. I have an idea, that when the court sentences +me, I may win its clemency by revealing what I learned from the +_dornenritter_--the secret which would be of incalculable value to all +mankind-- + +"We shall see about it--if the time ever comes when sentence shall be +passed on you!" observed the chair. + +To out-drink me, resumed the prisoner, after this digression, was +impossible, though they tried their best to do so. Had they succeeded +in stupefying me with wine, I am quite certain they would have robbed +me of the note for two-thousand thalers, which I always carried with +me. I suspected that the series of drinking-bouts had been arranged to +enable Rupert to steal the note; had he succeeded, Master Meyer would +have been relieved of paying what he owed me. But my secret enabled me +to frustrate their plans. + +Nor did they succeed in getting hold of any of my doubloons. The first +time we engaged in a game of dice, I detected their scheme to cheat +me; the dice were loaded. As I had played that sort of game before, I +astonished and discomfited my companions by the frequency with which +the sixes always came on top when I threw. They, and not I, lost +money. If they attempted to quarrel with me about my good fortune, +they found that, skilled though they were in the pugilistic art, I +could take care of myself. I learned some wrestling tricks while I was +with the haidemaken, and they served me well in my bouts with those +notorious fighting-cocks. I was not the one to get worsted. But, no +matter how angry I might be, I always took good care not to injure any +of them seriously; had I done so, they would very soon have had me +behind prison bars. + +I was also extremely careful in my intercourse with the women I met. +My white dove accompanied me wherever I went, but I never spoke of her +to anyone. I would tell my companions, after they had dragged me from +one den to another without succeeding in attaching me to any of the +alluring nymphs, that I had no eyes for any woman but my charming +betrothed, to whom I had vowed eternal fidelity; and that I was +obliged to adhere all the more rigidly to my vow, because Rupert, +being the brother of my sweetheart, might betray me to her were he to +see me paying attention to another girl. + +Then the student would swear that a "whole ditch full of devils" might +fetch him (a favorite oath in Hamberger Berg polite society) if he so +much as mentioned my name to his sister. I might flirt with whomsoever +I chose, he would not betray me. But, I persisted in turning a deaf +ear to the fascinating damsels I continued to meet night after night +in the various drinking shops we frequented. I knew very well that a +tidy wench would be more apt to get hold of my carefully guarded note +of hand than would any of my brawling comrades. + +I wasn't going to let anyone steal it; I had decided that I would take +the money home to my poor old parents. The two-thousand thalers would +make of them real gentle folk; father could buy a little fruit farm; +and a fur coat for himself; and the old mother might promenade to +church in a silk mantle, bought with the money her son had given her-- + +"And which he obtained by selling stolen church property," +sarcastically interjected the chair. + +"The end justified the means," quickly, but with due respect, retorted +the prisoner, whereupon the prince laughed heartily. + +The mayor's face became crimson; he said in a tone of reprimand: "That +phrase was not devised by the pious Jesuits to excuse the man who +steals church property, and sells it to obtain money for his family. +The prisoner will continue his confession." + +In this manner I passed three months. The day before the one on which +my note fell due, I spent in my lodgings sleeping quietly. That night +I accompanied my friends, as usual, on a round of the different +taverns we were wont to frequent. We scattered the night patrol; +smeared the windows of several professors' houses with wagon grease; +sang rollicking ditties in front of the houses in which we knew there +were pretty girls; belabored all the Jews we found abroad at that +hour, and kept the entire "Berg" in a state of excitement, until long +after midnight. We marched arm in arm, forming a line across the +street that reached from house to house, to the "Three Apples"--a +famous tavern at that time--where, for a wager, we drank all the +liquid medicines in the store of an itinerant quack doctor, who had +stopped there for the night. + +It is just possible it was the medicaments that confused my +brain--though I am convinced they were perfectly innocent of any +intoxicants. Rupert became so helpless, he lay like a log on the +tap-room floor; the innkeeper ordered the rest of us out of the house. + +As it was too early to go home, the Scotchman suggested that, as +Rupert was not with us, we should go around to Master Meyer's, where +he and the rest would keep watch in the street, while I made a +"window-call" on my betrothed. + +"That's a bright idea of yours!" I exclaimed. "How am I to get up to +my pretty Agnes' window? Her room is in the top story, in the gable. I +am not a moo-calf that can stretch its neck to the luthern." + +"Why are we your friends?" chivalrously demanded the Spanish hidalgo. +"Are not we here to help you? We will form a pyramid: three of us will +support two others on their shoulders, and you will form the apex. +You can then rap at your lady-love's window, and we will remain +immovable, while you exchange kisses with her." + +The quack's medicaments had, as I said before, confused my brain; I +agreed to the silly plan suggested by the hidalgo, and we turned our +unsteady steps toward the Meyer residence. + +When we arrived in front of the house, the first thing we did was +break the lantern which swung from a rope stretched across the street, +in order that the darkness might screen us from the sight of +passers-by. + +The acrobatic feat of building a human pyramid was easily +accomplished; and I was very soon standing on the shoulders of two +comrades whose feet in turn rested on the shoulders of the three +forming the base. + +I had no difficulty in reaching to the sill of the bow-window; that +room, I knew, opened into Agnes' sleeping-chamber. I had rapped once +on the glass--cautiously, for I did not want to rouse any one in the +lower rooms; and was about to repeat the knock, when the fiendish +bellowing I had heard once before made the blood run cold in my veins. + +My comrades under me cried out in terror: + +"The moo-calf is coming!"--and the next instant I was hanging by my +fingers to the sill of the bow-window, with my legs wriggling like +those of a frog caught on a hook. I could hear my valiant comrades +scampering for their lives down the street. I did not want to call for +help; for, if old Meyer saw me dangling in front of his window, he +would believe me to be a burglar, and shoot me without ceremony. I +could not swing myself up to the window-sill, for the sash was +closed; so, I hung there, and tried in vain to find a projection below +me, on which to rest my toes. + +Meanwhile, the bellowing monster came nearer; I could already hear it +snorting under me. I hung motionless as an executed criminal on the +gallows, hoping the calf might not notice me. + +It was a vain hope! The brute came directly toward me, and when I +looked down, I saw the hideous horned head stretch upward--nearer, +nearer. I could feel the rough tongue lick the soles of my shoes--then +my ankles. I drew up my knees, and lifted myself as high as I could; +but the elastic neck stretched out longer--the horrible tongue licked +higher. I felt as if my trousers were being brushed with a curry-comb, +and I thought to myself every moment: "Now the devil will seize me!" + +I wriggled and kicked in vain--nearer, and nearer, came the long horns +which threatened to spit me on their sharp points. Fiendish laughter +seemed to come from the red throat, as the tongue licked higher and +higher. It reached my thighs--then my waist, and before I could guess +what might happen, the little bag hanging from my belt, in which I +carried the note for two-thousand thalers, was snapped from its chain, +and disappeared down the brute's gullet. + +My fear vanished with the note. Not even Satan himself should take it +without a struggle! + +Heedless of the moo-calf, as well as of the danger to my legs, I let +go my hold on the window-sill and dropped. Fortunately my mantle +carried me like a parachute through the air, so that I was not even +shaken by a too sudden contact with the pavement. + +I now stood face to face with the dreaded moo-calf. It was not a +creation of the imagination, but a veritable monster, and a most +hideous and frightful one too, at that! It had four huge legs and feet +like an elephant; a neck two fathoms long, at the end of it an +enormous head with horns; the long red tongue hanging from the open +jaws was covered with scales shaped like saw teeth. + +"You may be the devil himself," I cried, drawing my sword, and +stepping up to the monster, "but you must give me back my purse." + +Quick as thought, the long neck was drawn in, and the head thrust at +me with a force that sent me staggering backward several feet. A +faint-hearted man would most likely have taken to his heels, but I was +too enraged at my loss to think of seeking safety in flight. + +What! had I purloined the _dornenritter_ treasures for this? + +_They_ were now in Master Meyer's possession, and the two-thousand +thalers were in the stomach of this moo-calf! All this passed like +lightning through my brain, as I picked myself up from the pavement, +where the brute had flung me, and again approached him. + +"Either you take me with you to hell," I exclaimed hoarsely, "or I'll +tear my purse from your entrails!" + +Again the monster drew in his neck, spread his legs apart as if to +brace himself, and gave utterance to another marrow-freezing roar. I +remembered the dose of pepper I had received from him, and held the +corner of my mantle in front of my face; this shielded me also from +the sparks of fire he blew from his nostrils. + +I was prepared for the second assault, and when the brute again shot +out his head toward me, I dropped nimbly to the pavement, and the head +swept over me into the empty air. Before it could be drawn back, I was +on my feet, and buried my sword to the hilt in the creature's breast. + +What was my surprise and horror to hear a despairing moan--not from +the moo-calf's throat, from its belly--an unmistakably human voice. + +"I am killed--murdered!" cried the voice, as the moo-calf fell in a +heap to the pavement; and from the shapeless leather envelope +staggered a human form--my comrade, Rupert, the student. + +The blood was spurting from a wound in his breast--my sword had +pierced clean through him! + +"So, you are the moo-calf?" I exclaimed in amazement, surveying the +wounded man leaning, gasping for breath, against the door of his +father's house. + +"The devil take you," he groaned. "Why didn't I kill you at once, when +you were hanging from the window, instead of fooling with you? Now, +the old man may play the moo-calf himself, and scare customers from +the Jews' quarter! It's all up with me! Ho, Agnes! Mettze! Come quick! +Summon the patrol! Sound an alarm!" + +I saw a female form appear in the bow-window. It was Agnes. When she +recognized Rupert's voice, she began to shriek "Murder! murder!" + +I turned to fly, but Rupert, who had sunk to the pavement, weak from +the loss of blood, seized hold of my leg--even in death he thought +only of revenge! I jerked my leg from his grasp with such force, that +he fell backward, striking his head against the door-post. + +He did not stir again. + +I did not stop to search in the skin of the moo-calf for the +promissory note; I took only time enough to catch up a handful of mud +from the street, and fling it into the face of the girl, who was +leaning from the window shrieking "Murder!" into the night. + +It silenced her for a few moments, and I fled down the street with +strides that soon took me a considerable distance from the scene of +the tragedy. + +In my terror I imagined that a multitude was pursuing me, crying: +"Catch him!" "Hold him!" "There goes the assassin!" + +I fled through unfamiliar streets and by-ways, across bridges, to the +outskirts of the city. There I saw, in an underground den, lights and +moving forms; and heard dance-music and riotous shouting. I tore open +the entrance-door, dashed down the steps, and fell into the arms of an +overgrown rascal, who was clad in the uniform of the Munster guards. +The fellow locked his arms about me, and said laughingly: + +"You are welcome, comrade! You have come to the proper refuge. You +must have been close pressed, I declare! You are puffing like a +porpoise! But, have no further fear--you are safe now. Come, sit and +have something to drink." + +He pressed a goblet of wine into my hand, thrust his arm through mine, +and drank _smollis_ with me, by exchanging his bear-skin hat for my +cloth barret-cap. + +"There, my son, now you are one of us. You have drank our wine, and +are now under the command of our worthy captain." + +I had stumbled upon a body of recruits for a partisan corps. The +company was made up of desperate characters, who were glad enough of +this chance to escape prison, or the gallows. + +As for myself, I was forced to put a good face on a bad business! Only +twelve hours before, I had been a distinguished cavalier, was called +Junker Hermann; and had a promissory note for two-thousand thalers in +my pocket. Now, I had neither station nor money, and as I had good +cause for not wanting to keep the name by which I was known in +Hamburg, I gave the recruiting sergeant my own true patronymic. + +After I had been properly registered, I asked the sergeant: + +"What is the name of our captain?" + +"Meyer." + +"There are a good many Meyers in the world. Is the captain related to +the Berg-Meyers?" + +"You've guessed it the first time, my son! The captain's father lives +in the Hamberger Berg, and is a well-known receiver of stolen goods. +Rupert, the captain's brother, is a pander." + +I dare say many a man in my place would have been frightened at this +discovery; but _I_ congratulated myself! If I were pursued--I +argued--the officers of justice would seek for me everywhere else but +in the company commanded by the brother of the murdered man; and if +Captain Meyer ever discovered that it was I who had relieved him of +the brother with whom he would have been obliged to share his +inheritance, _he_ certainly would not reproach me for it! + +This, honored and high-born gentlemen, added Hugo in conclusion, is +the true history of the homicide for which I am arraigned. I have not +added to, or taken from it; but have related the events exactly as +they occurred. + +"_Qui bene distinguit, bene docet!_" observed the prince thoughtfully. +"We call it murder, when the person committing the deed strikes what +he knows to be a human being. But, if the man encounters a ferocious +monster that he believes to be a moo-calf, and kills it as such, and +it turns out to be a human being, 'murder' is certainly not the term +to apply to the deed. Moreover, the person who is so devoid of sense +and dignity, as to conceal his human form in the hide of an irrational +beast, is himself responsible for whatever may happen to him! +Therefore, this indictment may also be stricken from the register." + +"Perhaps, your highness," observed the chair with a covert sneer, +"would like to suggest a reward for the prisoner, for delivering the +city of Hamburg from the terrorism of the moo-calf?" + +The prince's reply made it obvious that he had not noticed the chair's +sarcasm: + +"I-think-not," he returned slowly. "As the prisoner is likely to be +condemned to death for one or more of the other crimes, it would be +useless to bestow on him a certainly deserved reward." + +A further hearing was postponed until the next morning. + + + + +PART VI. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE FORGERY.--ONE CIPHER. + + +I passed an entire year under the command of Captain Meyer, during +which time I may say I committed no more--nor less, evil than my +comrades. I do not hold it necessary to mention the seven mortal sins, +of which all soldiers are guilty when in the enemy's country--those +sins become virtues then. + +Were I to enumerate the pillaging, homicides, conflagrations, in which +I took active part, it would be rather a _captatis benevolentiae_ than +an enforced confession. This much, however, I will confess: The +regions visited by Captain Meyer's corps never expressed a desire for +our return. A whole year of such a life was quite enough for me; and, +as I had enlisted for only a twelve-month, at the expiration of that +time I asked for my discharge. + +The captain expressed regret at my wanting to leave him; but made no +objection when I gave him my reason for quitting the service; I was +home-sick, and wanted to see my poor old mother and father. The old +folks lived in Andernach, near which we were quartered. I had not +seen them for full ten years; and I decided that I would spend the +rest of my days with them. + +The gold and silver I had once counted on taking to them, to solace +their old age, was not now in my possession: Satan, through whose aid +I had obtained it, had taken it away from me again. + +But, if I could not give my parents curse-laden wealth, I was able to +offer them two strong and willing arms which, after so many years of +sinful struggling, longed for the honest toil that would call down a +blessing from heaven. + +I would adopt my father's trade; become a pious believer, and try to +be of some use to my fellow-creatures. + +Before I could do this, however, I should be obliged to commit a +forgery--as the world would call it. + +The burgomaster of Andernach, and the manager of the tannery in that +place, were so very scrupulous, that they wanted to know all about my +antecedents, before they would consent to receive me as a citizen, and +journeyman. + +Not for the world would I have forged an entire testimonial for +honesty, and respectability; but I did not think, that to add a single +cipher to the honorable discharge I had received from Captain Meyer +was anything out of the way. A tiny, innocent, worth-nothing, +insignificant cipher, that could harm no one, take nothing from +anyone! And I did not place it in front of the figure 1 either--thus +giving it the precedence over the more valuable numeral. If the +honorable, and high-born gentlemen will but look at it from a +different point of view from that usually taken, I feel confident they +will not think my transgression so heinous after all. Heaven knows! +_Ten_ years' service under Captain Meyer contained sufficient torture +to purge the most hardened criminal, and make him fit for citizenship +in any respectable community! + +This, your highness, and honorable gentlemen, is the forgery to which +I plead guilty. + +"Humph!" ejaculated his highness. "It is not worth mentioning! Who +would take the trouble to notice such a trifle? Proceed to the +indictment next on the list--" + +"On which there is still another crime less!" grumbled the chair +impatiently. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE LEGACY. + + +Discharged soldiers travel on foot. It is the more expeditious way if +the roads are bad, for a wagon is heavier than a man. The man has only +two feet to draw from the mud; while the wagon has four wheels. +Besides to travel on foot is cheaper. + +When I arrived in Andernach I had, remaining from the money I had +saved during my year's campaigning, only one thaler; but my heart was +so light, the lightness of my pocket did not trouble me. + +How glad I was when I caught sight of the familiar towers of the +palace, and the ruins on the Templeberg. How often, when a lad, I had +clambered among those ruins, in search of hawks' nests, and Roman +coins. If I had only broken my neck on one of those innocent quests. +Everything was so familiar; the large mill-stone factory; the cranes +on the quay; the rafts on the river; the long avenues--yes, even the +old receivers of customs at the Coblentz gate! I recognized the old +fellows at once; but they did not remember me. I might stray through +the entire town without hearing a single voice call to me: "Welcome, +welcome! Why that is Hugo!" I was so changed in appearance! + +But I remembered everybody and everything! I did not need to ask my +way through the narrow streets to the tanneries on the banks of the +river. I remembered the names of all the families that lived in those +narrow streets. + +At last I came in sight of the house in which dwelt my parents--the +dear, familiar home of my boyhood! There it stood; and beside it, the +same tall mulberry tree with its branches shading the street. + +Perched among those branches, I had learned to decline the classical +formula: "_Hic gallus cantans in arbore sedens, kukuriku dicens!_" At +the moment of my arrival, however, instead of a _gallus cantans_ on +the tree, an auctioneer's assistant was standing under it, and +vigorously beating a cracked drum. + +"What is going on here?" I asked of the man, in whom I recognized an +acquaintance of my boyhood. + +"There's going to be an auction, Master Soldier." + +"What is to be sold?" + +"Everything that belonged to the old tanner. You may take a look +inside if you like," he added, nodding toward the house. "It won't +cost you anything." + +"But why are you selling the old man's property?" I asked again. + +"To get money, naturally!" + +"For whom?" + +"For the numerous Jebucees, Sadducees, and publicans, to whom the old +man was indebted. If they sell everything--to the brood of sparrows +under the eaves!--there will not be enough money, by a good deal, to +pay all he owes." + +"Why," said I, "the old man was a good manager; and his wife an +industrious and thrifty house-wife, when I knew them." + +"And so they were! The old man was all right, until he took to +drinking." + +"Took to drinking? Why did he do that?" + +"Well--you see, he had a worthless son, who ran away from home about +ten years ago. The scamp joined a band of robbers; and when he left +them, he gave out that he was a Polish count; played all manner of +tricks; broke out of prison; robbed churches. Every year the news +which came to the old man about his Hugo grew worse; until at last he +was afraid to venture on the street, for the whole town was talking +about his worthless son. So he took to drink--had it fetched to the +house, and drank harder and harder--especially after his wife died--" + +"Dead?" I interrupted. "Is the old dame dead?" my heart almost burst +because I had to keep back the words "my mother." + +"Yes, Master Soldier, she is dead, and it is a mercy the good old soul +did not live to see this sorrowful day! But, you must excuse me. I +have got to beat this drum, so that a good lot of people will come to +the sale." + +A dozen or more purchasers came in response to the summons. I took up +my station by the open window, and looked into the familiar room, +where the buyers were higgling over the various articles to be sold. +My mother's Sunday mantle was just then under the hammer--the pretty +silk mantle with the silver fastening at the neck. How I wished I were +able to put an end to the disgusting higgling, by shouting in the +window: + +"I'll take the whole lot for a thousand thalers!" + +But, alas! there was only a single, miserable thaler in my pocket. + +The mantle at last became the property of an old-clothes dealer: he +flung it around his shoulders, and made believe to promenade to +church. It was a revolting sight! The entire higgling crew laughed +uproariously, and clapped their hands. I could endure it no longer, my +heart was bursting. + +I stepped back to the drummer, and asked: + +"Is it long since the old dame died?" + +"Not so long but you may find her grave if you care to see it. She is +buried in the cemetery on the Templeberg." + +"And where is her husband?" + +"Well"--and he scratched his ear--"that is a question I am unable to +answer: what was immortal about him, is in heaven, or hell, or +purgatory--who can say? Flesh, bones and skin, are about to be buried +in the earth--just where though, I can't tell you." + +"Buried now?" I repeated. "Why, there's no bell tolling for the +funeral?" + +"No, Master Soldier, the death bell doesn't ring for such corpses. The +poor old man hung himself--just here, on this limb above us!" + +"Hung himself?" I repeated in horror. + +"Yes, Master Soldier--he hung himself on that limb! You see he +couldn't stand it when, after he had been told that his property would +have to be sold to pay his debts, he heard that the burgomaster had +received from Hamburg a warrant to arrest Hugo, his vagabond son, who +had murdered a comrade of his in that city." + +You may imagine my feeling when I heard these words! They banished +from my mind all thought of making myself known as the long-lost Hugo, +and the determination to keep my identity a strict secret was +strengthened by the drummer who, at every beat he inflicted on the +cracked calf-skin, exclaimed: "The rascal!" "The vagabond!" "The +gallows-bird!" and similar titles of honor! + +I deemed it wise to join him in execrating the reprobate, whose evil +conduct had forced the honest old tanner to end his life on the green +branch over our heads. + +The bloody deed I had committed in Hamburg had driven my poor father +to a suicide's grave. I could listen no longer to the monotonous +drum-beats, and the call which came from the house: "Who bids higher?" + +I stole away from the house to which I had brought disgrace and death. +I stole away to that city of the silent multitude, where there is no +higgling, no outbidding, no "who bids higher?" + +Here, the wooden cross at the head of the grass-grown mound of earth, +serves the same purpose, and serves it as well as the majestic marble +monument. After a long search among many familiar, and some unfamiliar +names, I found, on one of the wooden crosses, the name to which I had +a claim. + +Underneath that mound, bare of green sod, with no mourning wreath of +never-fading flowers adorning the cross, rested the woman who had left +behind her on earth nothing but a drunken husband, who drank to forget +his shame; and a worthless son, whose name was a public disgrace in +every city in the land. + +I flung myself beside the mound. I dared not give vent to my sorrow in +moans and tears, for fear a grave-digger, or some passer-by might hear +me, and suspect me to be the son of the woman in the grave. + +The Hamburg magistrates had offered one hundred thalers for my arrest; +consequently it behooved me to be very cautious. I pretended I had +chosen that spot to rest; and lay very still; for, just then, a good +many people--chattering old women, noisy lads, and all sorts of shabby +folk--were passing through the cemetery, toward the further wall. + +The crowd seemed to be expecting something--an imposing funeral, I +said to myself. I soon found out why they were so eager to get to the +boundary wall of the cemetery: In the strip of earth just outside the +wall was the suicide's grave. + +He is not to rest among the respectable Christians; but in the strip +of unconsecrated ground outside the sacred inclosure. No priest leads +his funeral train; his body comes to its last resting place in the +knacker's cart, on a bier made of four rough deals. The coffin is +unpainted; there is no name-plate on the lid. + +The bell on the neck of the knacker's old steed tolls him to the +grave. Instead of a solemn funeral dirge, there is the noisy chatter +of the curious mob; and in lieu of funeral oration are the knacker's +stupid and offensive jokes, which he cracks while he prepares to lower +the coffin into the grave. Before he does this, he takes a knife from +his pocket, and whittles a few chips from the coffin; and over these +the gaping crowd--especially the old women--quarrel and higgle, gladly +giving their last pence for the relics. And these people never suspect +that the man who leans heavily against the broken cross, hard-by the +new-made grave, might rush suddenly upon them, and with the stump of +the broken cross crack the skulls of those whom he chanced to strike! + +At last the knacker took note of me: + +"Well, Master Soldier," he called, "and how goes it with you? Don't +you want to exchange a few pence for a chip from the coffin of the man +who hung himself? There is great virtue in such a bit of wood! It will +preserve you from lightning, and--" + +"I would rather have a nail out of the coffin," I interrupted, "for +iron will attract lightning, which is what I most desire." + +The fellow was ready enough to comply with my request, but he said the +nail would be worth a thaler. I gave him the thaler, the last money I +possessed in the world! and received the nail--my legacy from my +father! + +Later, I had a ring made of the coffin-nail, and I still wear it on +the fore-finger of my right hand. + +"Well," enunciated his highness, drawing his handkerchief from his +pocket; "you certainly were punished for your misdeeds, my son. Your +sufferings must have been greater than if you had been tortured on the +wheel." + +The chair's comments were inaudible amid the sounds of emotion, which +came from behind the prince's handkerchief. + + + + +PART VII. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +PEACEFUL REPOSE. + + +I was now without a heller in my pocket; and yet I did not feel poor. +I thought to myself: I am a man, born this day--nothing, and nobody. I +am so much better off than the new-born babe, in that I shall not have +to be taught how to walk and talk, need no one to feed me, and rock me +to sleep. + +I determined I would not remain longer on German soil. If I remained, +only one of two alternatives was left to me: If I desired to associate +with respectable folk, I should have to allow them, when they +discovered who I was, to cut off my head; and if I went back to my old +life, or into the army, I should have to cut off the heads of my +fellow-creatures. I had no desire to do either. + +After my varied, and troublous experiences, I yearned for peace and +quiet. My plans were soon formed. There was considerable trade in +lumber, between Andernach and Holland. Innumerable rafts, composed of +huge tree-trunks for masts, and piles for dams, were floated down the +Rhine; and to the owner of one of these rafts I hired myself as rower. + +The wage was fair: thirty pfenings a day, with bread, cheese, dried +fish, and a jug of beer. I never drank my portion of beer, but sold it +for three pfenings, to one of my comrades on the raft, who got thirsty +twice daily. I drank only water. + +When my fellow rowers would curse and swear, because a strong wind, or +the current, drove the raft against the rocks, I would remonstrate +mildly with them; and assure them that such speech in the mouths of +Christian men was displeasing to God; and when, to pass the time, they +would sit down to a game of dice, I would withdraw to the further end +of the raft. If they urged me to join the game, I would reply: + +"Thou shalt not covet what belongs to thy neighbor." + +After awhile the jeers of my comrades attracted the attention of the +owner of the raft. + +"Hello, lad; what's the matter with you? You don't drink, don't +gamble, and don't swear--you are damnably pious, it seems to me! But, +you are a first-rate worker; and I shall sell you in Nimeguen for at +least three times as much as any of those lazy louts." + +"You are going to sell me and my comrades in Nimeguen?" I exclaimed in +amazement. + +"Why, certainly! What the devil else should I do with you? You can +float down stream on the raft; but I couldn't float you +up-stream!--and I couldn't carry you on my back, could I? But, don't +you worry. I'll find good places for the lot of you. There will be +plenty of buyers for the rowers, as well as for the raft, and the +price every fellow brings will be equally divided between me and +himself!" + +"What becomes of the men--usually?" I ventured to inquire. + +"Well, I don't believe _all_ are chopped into sausage-meat! The +Hollander likes to be a sailor--but only a captain, or a pilot. He +likes also to be a soldier, but again he prefers to be a captain, or +the commandant of a fortress. Therefore, common seamen and private +soldiers are in demand; and for this the ignorant stranger is good. +Consequently, you need only say which you prefer: to become a sailor, +or a land-lubber--and take your choice." + +I deliberated a moment, then I said to him: + +"I will tell you the truth, Captain, because I have vowed never again +to let a lie pass my lips. I am tired of soldiering. I have shed so +much blood on the battlefield, that the remembrance of it oppresses my +soul. I don't want to be a soldier; I would rather go to sea, and be +rocked by the waves." + +"Well, you are an ignorant dunce!" he exclaimed. "Don't you know that, +if you go to sea, you will get right into the thick of battle? The +Dutch fight all their real battles at sea. They keep an army on shore, +only that they may have troops to capitulate when a fortress is +starved out by the enemy! The soldiers never get any actual fighting. +Punctuality, sobriety, irreproachable conduct--these are the Dutch +soldier's strong points--and, the devil fly away with me, if you +don't rise to be a corporal in less than a twelve-month, if you join +the army! What were you before?" + +"A gunner." + +"Well, you can be a gunner in the Dutch army." + +"But, what have the gunners in the Dutch artillery to do if there is +no enemy to shoot at?" I asked. + +"Oh, they find enough to occupy their time. On Saturday evenings they +have the management of the fire-works, which are set off in the park; +and on the other days of the week they prepare the rockets, and other +things, for the Saturday evening's display." + +That is why I became a gunner in the artillery, in the goodly city of +Nimeguen. Sixty dollars was the price paid for me, the half of which I +received. + +I was now in a community that exactly suited me. Here was no mighty +uproar, no rioting, no drinking. Here, no vain braggart youths +molested the wives of the staid burghers. Here were no conflicts +between the military and the citizens. All were at peace with one +another. + +On Sunday mornings the armed, and the unarmed residents went together +to church; and in the evening all drank their pints together amicably +in the beer-houses. The soldiers were allowed, when not on guard duty, +or otherwise engaged in the fortress, to work for the citizens; the +money thus earned belonged to themselves. And there were many chances +to secure employment. The entire city of Nimeguen was a huge +flower-garden, in which was grown that most important article of +commerce: the tulip bulb. + +It is a well-known fact that not only entire Europe but all the lands +under the dominion of the Turkish sultan, would suffer a greater +financial loss, were the Dutch tulip-bulbs to remain out of the +markets for a year, than if all other crops were to fail for the same +length of time. + +By saying this, I do not mean that the carnation is not also a +necessary luxury--if I may so term it; but the tulip is, and will +remain, the most important article of commerce in the lands I have +mentioned. One tulip-bulb is worth as much as a peck of wheat. But it +is of different values--according to the color. There are tulips which +only kings and sultans can afford to have bloom in their gardens. + +I was fortunate enough to secure employment for my leisure hours, as +gardener's assistant, on the estate of a widow who was "tulip-wealthy." + +The lady would visit her tulip beds early every morning, to see them +in bud; and again late in the afternoon, to see the full-blown +flowers. At such times I never got a glimpse of her face; for she +always wore a huge cap, from which only the tip of her nose protruded. + +But I decided, after I had been on the estate a week, that the fair +owner must be young, for when she addressed a remark to me, which she +did occasionally, her voice was so low--as if she feared I might hear +what she said. + +To judge by the enormous quantities of bulbs she sent to market, the +widow must have been very rich; but the bulbs were not her only +treasures. She possessed a collection of shells, fresh, and +salt-water, that represented a very tidy sum of money. + +In Holland, as well as in England, and France, the shell had also a +commercial value; and wealthy collectors vied with one another to +secure the finest examples of the _spordilus regius_; the "sun-ray" +mussel; the rainbow-hued "venus-ear"; the "queen's cap"; the "tower of +Babylon"; and "Pharaoh's turban," and would pay as high as two hundred +dollars for a perfect specimen of the shell they wanted. I have known +a perfect _scalaria preciosa_ to bring one hundred zequins. This shell +is more valuable than the pearl; and my fair employer possessed a +whole drawerful of them. Her sainted husband had collected them; and +they would have sold for more than would a three-master loaded with +grain. + +More than one nabob had offered fabulous sums for the collection; and +it was said that a British peer, who was devoted to the study of +conchology, had even gone so far as to offer his hand and title to the +widow, in order to gain possession of the much coveted treasure. + +The widow who hesitates loses a title; while the lady was considering +the peer's offer, there was a sudden fall in the price of shells, and +my lord sailed away to England. + +What caused this depression in the shell-market you ask? + +Well, as your highness, and the honorable gentlemen, must know, every +sea-creature like the _scalaria_ builds its house with the volutions +turning to the left. + +One day a sailor, whose home was in Nimeguen, returned from a voyage +to Sumatra, and brought with him a large number of _scalaria_ with the +shells turned in just the opposite direction--from left to right. Now, +a shell of this order was a decided _lusus naturae_, and the price for +the ordinary pattern at once depreciated. The bankers and nabobs, who +had formerly vied with one another in their quest for the _scalaria +preciosa_, were now so inflamed with the desire to possess a _scalaria +retrotorsa_, that they willingly paid from two to three thousand +thalers for a single specimen. On the other hand, the ordinary +_scalaria_, which had sold readily for one hundred ducats, could now +be bought for ten, and fifteen thalers. + +This was a heavy blow for my widowed employer, and she soon found that +she had not the strength to bear it alone. + +When I heard of her loss, I summoned enough courage to say to her: + +"If this unlucky business about the shells is all that troubles you, +my dear lady, I think I can help you. I have a scheme that will in a +very short time produce shells which turn to the right--and in such +quantities, that you can supply all the shell-markets in the country." + +The widow reflected several moments, then replied: + +"But, I couldn't think of allowing you to employ witch-craft to secure +such shells for me. I do not approve of magic. I have always held +aloof from sorcery, charms, conjuring, and all such infernal +practices; and, as I hope some time to be united with my beloved +husband, who is with the saints, I could not bind my soul to the +wicked one, by countenancing any sort of magic, or idolatry." + +"There is neither magic nor idolatry connected with my scheme to +benefit you, gracious lady," I assured her. "What I have in mind is a +purely scientific experiment. It is fully described in a large book +written by the learned Professor Wagner, who was a very pious man, as +well as a very clever scholar." + +"The book I allude to, gracious lady, treats of the sympathy and +antipathy of plants, and cold-blooded animals; and is all about +creatures made by our Heavenly Father. It is a noteworthy fact, that +the bean vine always twines from left to right around the stake which +supports it; while the hop as invariably winds from right to +left--neither of them ever makes a mistake. If, however, the bean and +the hop be planted close together, then, the two plants being +antipathetic one to the other, the bean will twine to the left, and +the hop to the right." + +"_Quid fuit probatum._" + +"From such experiments the learned professor was led to experiment +with living creatures. He found that, when an acaleph which forms its +shell from right to left in the flower-beds at the bottom of the +ocean, chances to lie in close proximity to a _nautilus pompilius_, +which belongs to the cephalopods, and builds from left to right, the +two, because of their antipathy for each other, will reverse the order +of their volutions." + +"From this it is clear that those conchologists, who have created a +veritable social revolution with their _scalaria retrotorsa_, and have +shaken the foundations of prosperity in the Dutch low countries, have +accidentally come upon such shells which, in consequence of an +antipathetic propinquity, have reversed their order of building--and +by so doing, my dear lady, have caused you great loss and sorrow. But, +you need sorrow no longer, if you will graciously assent to my +proposition. It will, I feel confident, bring you a fortune so +enormous that even the queen regent will envy you!" + +"But, what is your proposition?" queried the pious soul, and for the +first time, half of her face emerged from the depths of her cap. + +"It is this, gracious lady: Order your agents to bring from the ocean +living _scalaria_, and _nautili_, which are to be secured with least +trouble during the mating season. We will prepare for them here a +large basin of sea-water, with sand from the bottom of the ocean. In +this we will plant sea-weeds, place our living shells among them, and +feed them with star-fish, holothures, and other soft-bodied marine +creatures. After a season our shell-fish will spawn; the eggs of the +_scalaria_ cling together--like a string of pearls; those of the +_nautili_ adhere to one another by sixes, in shape of a star. + +"When we shall have secured a number of broods, we will fasten +together the ends of a _scalaria_ string, forming a circle, in the +center of which we will place a star of _nautilus_ spawn; and you will +see, when the tiny creatures escape from the eggs, that they will +build their houses in a reversed order from the parent shell." + +My plan was quite clear to the fair widow; she gave her orders at once +to her agents, for the _scalaria_, and _nautili_, and from that +moment treated me with great respect and affability. + +Meanwhile, I continued to perform my duties: I polished my guns +mornings; inspected the soldiers' coats, to see if any of the buttons +had been sewed on wrong side up--the lower part of the state's coat of +arms uppermost--and reported to the captain that everything was in +order. Saturday evenings I attended to setting off the fire-works; and +every week-day afternoon I worked in the widow's garden. + +What I earned I laid by. I never touched pipe, nor glass--not even +when they were offered to me; and to whomsoever I addressed a remark, +I gave the title belonging to him. Thus, I gained the respect of all +my fellow-citizens. I had become what I had long desired: a +respectable God-fearing man-- + +"Now, look out for a special bit of rascality;" _sotto voce_, +interjected the chair. + +I admit it was to win promotion that I conducted myself with such +propriety, continued the prisoner. I was extremely desirous of +attaining a lieutenancy. + +When the living _scalaria_, and _nautili_, arrived together with the +creatures which were to serve as food for them, they were placed in +the large basin with a wall about it, I had prepared for them in the +lower portion of the tulip garden; and in due time the spawn was ready +for further operation. + +My gracious employer was greatly surprised to learn that the eggs of +the shell-fish have a peculiarity which distinguishes them from the +eggs of birds and insects. With the development of the embryonic fish, +its envelope also extends; one such egg, which at first is hardly as +large as a lentil, increases to the size of a hazel-nut. In this +condition its outer covering is very thin--merely a transparent +membrane, through which the now quickened animal may be seen revolving +with the celerity of a spinning top. One may even detect the +pulsations of its heart. + +"The fellow has actually taken it upon himself to deliver a lecture on +malacology!" irritably interposed the chair. "I am sorry to prolong +the hearing, your honor," deferentially returned the prisoner, "but, I +beg you will allow me to finish what I have to say on this subject, in +order that I may explain why I was accused of conjuring. I desire to +prove that what I did was not accomplished by aid of any infernal +power; but through my own intelligence, in discovering, and making use +of one of Nature's secrets." + +As I mentioned before, one may perceive, in the embryonic mollusk, the +incessant rotary movement from left to right. In order to keep the two +antipathetic broods constantly in the close juxtaposition necessary to +influence their development, I was obliged to handle them frequently, +as the eggs would move about-- + +"Stop!" interrupted the chair, "mollusks have no eyes; how then were +those you hatched able to see their antipathetic neighbors, and move +away from them?" + +Their antipathetic sensations informed them. Though mollusks have no +eyes, they are endowed with other remarkable organs--such as are not +found in warm-blooded animals. However, to cut my story short, the +quickened _scalaria_, and _nautili_, immediately began to form their +shells in the reversed order I had expected, and the secret of +fabulous enrichment was solved. + +During the mysterious process of nature--while the shell-fish were +industriously rearing their priceless houses--my patroness daily spent +a half hour or more beside the sea-water basin; and would even, now +and then, assist me to restore the creatures to their proper +positions. + +At first she would push her sleeves only an inch or two above the +wrists; but, after awhile, they were tucked above the elbows, and I +could admire as much as I wanted the beautiful white arms--a favor no +modest woman will allow anyone but her own husband. + +As the work had to be done, and as we did not want a third party to +have cognizance of our experiment, the fair widow was obliged to +assist me, and the natural result of the bared arms was: I became her +legal husband. Therefore, it was neither through magic, nor +witch-craft, nor yet through seductive arts employed by myself, that I +became the legal protector of the richest, and handsomest young widow +in Nimeguen. + +("The truth of the matter is: the modest Dutch widow bewitched the +valiant gunner, and compelled him to marry her!" was the chair's +sarcastic interpolation.) + +Well, be that as it may, the lady was amply rewarded for marrying me. +The _scalaria retrotorsa_ resulting from my experiment, brought her +enormous wealth. We did not know, at last, what to do with all the +money that kept pouring into our coffers; but, the larger portion of +her reward by far, she found in the conjugal fidelity I vowed to her. +I would not have believed that I possessed so many of the attributes +necessary to the making of a pattern husband, and my wife would have +been entirely satisfied with me, had I been a captain like her first +spouse. + +But I was only a gunner! + +My predecessor had been a captain, it is true, but he had never seen a +battle; and when, on _Corpus Christi_, he commanded the city militia, +and gave orders to fire the salute, he always pressed his hands +against his ears to shut out the noise. + +Still, his title gave his wife the right to call herself "Frau +Hauptmannin;" while, as my wife she was merely "Constablerinn"--a +degradation intolerable to any proud-spirited woman. + +I tried to purchase at least a lieutenant's commission; but there were +fifty-six applicants for the position ahead of me; and there was no +telling how many years I should have to wait for my turn. + +My wife at last became so sensitive that, in order to escape being +addressed by the inferior title, she ceased to go out of the house; +and when she had occasion to make mention of me to any one, she always +spoke, or wrote, in this wise: "The husband of the widow of Captain +Tobias van der Bullen." That honorable and high-born gentlemen, is how +I came to be called--through no fault of mine!--by my twelfth false +name: "Tobias van der Bullen." + +I must confess, it was an extremely dull life. Of what use to us were +the hoards of gold in the treasure-chests? We did not know how to +spend them. I did not drink wine; I was not allowed to smoke at home, +because it was an unclean habit. And I was always at home, when not at +the barracks, because I had nowhere else to go. + +At the merchants' casino, of which I might have become a member had I +so elected, all the conversation was about matters I could not endure. +The men were so grave and sedate, there was no fun in trying to play +tricks on them; and the women were virtuous to such a degree, that not +one of them would have allowed a barn-yard cock to scratch worms for +more than one hen. + +As all married men know, women are peculiar creatures. There are times +when they become impressed with a desire to possess certain things +that--so say the sagacious doctors--it is unwise, nay dangerous, to +refuse to gratify the request. I have heard said, that a woman has +been known to long for a dish of shoemaker's paste; another believed +she would collapse if she did not get a frog to devour; still another, +vowed she could not survive, if her husband did not rise from his bed +at midnight, and hasten to the nearest grocery for a box of superfine +wagon grease! + +Now, my wife was seized with a longing to possess a sheet of +parchment--a desire, you will say, that might easily have been +gratified. But, the sort of parchment she wanted did not grow on every +bush! A document, engrossed with the words which certified that her +husband was a captain, was what she craved. But, where was I to +procure it? + +Chance one day brought me face to face with an old acquaintance, +Mynheer Ruissen. He recognized me at once. It would have been useless +to deny my identity; moreover, there had been established between us a +certain good-fellowship that justified me in believing I might safely +take him into my confidence. + +He told me how zealously the officers of the law were searching +throughout Germany for the fugitive, who had substituted tin +church-vessels for the gold and silver ones used in the Templars' +castle; and for having caused the wonderful metamorphosis of the +Hamburg moo-calf. + +("Fine phrases for robbery, and assassination!" commented the chair). + +It was fortunate for me that I was known in Holland only under the +name of my wife's deceased husband; had the worthy Dutchmen known who +I was, the German authorities would not have remained long in +ignorance as to the whereabouts of the fugitive criminal they were +seeking. + +I confided to Mynheer Ruissen my desire to obtain the title of captain +in order to prevent my wife from grieving herself to death. + +"Well, my son," he observed after a moment's deliberation, "it isn't +such an easy matter to get to be a captain--on shore. There is no war +now. These Hollanders prefer to look on fighting at a distance. If you +want to become a captain, come with me to sea. I am on my way to East +India, with small arms and cannons for the nabob Nujuf Khan, of +Bengal. There's a general in his army, who is a countryman of yours--a +Reinhard Walter. He was an adventurer like yourself when he went to +India; and now he is a distinguished man. He changed his name to +'Sommer,' and the natives out yonder call him 'Sumro.' He is in need +of soldiers, especially skilled gunners. If you will come with me--who +can tell?--you may become not only a captain, but a prince within a +twelve-month." + +The tales Mynheer Ruissen related of General Sommer's success in +Bengal were so marvelous, they inflamed me with the desire to try my +fortune in that distant land; besides, the wearisome dullness of my +monotonous existence in Nimeguen was driving me to madness. I decided +to accompany the Mynheer, whom I introduced to my wife. She was almost +beside herself with delight, when he told her he knew of a land in +which there grew a tree, called the banyan, with a thousand branches, +every one bearing a hundred figs, in every one of which might be found +a captain's commission. And these wonderful figs might be had for the +plucking, by any one who would take the trouble to journey to that +distant land. + +"You must start at once, my dear," said my wife in urgent tones--as if +she feared there might not be any of the figs left for me, if I +delayed going immediately. "At once! You must on no account miss the +ship!" + +With her own hands she packed everything I should need for the +journey--not forgetting soap and tooth-brushes! And she did not weep +at parting with me. You see, the women of Holland become accustomed to +having their husbands go away on long journeys, to be absent for +years. I confess I was not sorry to go; for, I knew that, if I stopped +at home, when the third member of the family arrived, it would be my +task to rock the cradle. I preferred to be rocked myself by the waves +on a good ship! + +Two days later I bade farewell for a time to Europe, and set sail with +Mynheer Ruissen for India. A favorable wind sent us skimming out of +the harbor; my wife waved a farewell with her handkerchief from the +shore. + +"Did you commit any crimes on the high seas?" This query from the +chair interrupted the voyage for a few moments. + +"Nothing worth mentioning, your honor." + +"Then, just skip over the entire ocean, and don't waste our time with +descriptions of flying-fish, and chanting mermaids. Debark without +further delay in Bengal, and let us hear what rascalities you +perpetrated there?" + + + + +PART VIII. + +IN BENGAL. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +BEGUM SUMRO. + + +The next morning Hugo resumed his confession: + +I hope the honorable gentlemen of the court will pardon me, and not +imagine I wish to prolong this hearing, if I mention what may seem +trifling details. They are absolutely necessary to render intelligible +the recital of my most serious transgressions: idolatry, polygamy, and +regicide-- + +"All of which you will prove to have been so many praiseworthy acts!" +interpolated the chair. + +To begin with--continued the prisoner, paying no heed to the chair's +interpolation--from one of the upper windows of a tall tower that +stands on the left bank of the Ganges, in the neighborhood of Benares, +projects a bamboo pole as thick as a man's waist; and from it depends, +by an iron chain, a large iron cage. A man is confined in this cage. +His food is conveyed to him from the window of the tower, through a +long hollow pipe of bamboo. The cage hangs over a large pool of water +that is fed by an arm of the river, and swarms with voracious +crocodiles. + +It is a horrible sight, in the late afternoon, to see these ferocious +brutes lift their heads from the water, and grin at the man in the +cage. If he should break the iron bars which confine him in his airy +prison, and attempt to escape by leaping into the pool, the hungry +monsters would devour him skin and hair. + +"Who is the man?" queried the chair. + +"No less a personage than his royal highness, Shah Alum, the heir to +the throne of the great Mogul." + +"Why is he confined in the cage?" + +"Because he extended the hospitalities of his roof to his highness, +Mir Cossim, the nabob of Bengal, whom the English banished from his +territory, after the battle of Patna. Later, after the battle at +Buxar, Shah Alum himself fell into the power of the English; and Mir +Cossim was obliged to flee to the protection of the nabob of Andh, +whose commander-in-chief was the General Sommer, of whom Mynheer +Ruissen had told me. The English demanded of the nabob of Andh, that +he deliver to them Mir Cossim and Sommer: whom they wanted to cage, +and hang beside Shah Alum, to keep him from getting lonely! But the +nabob of Andh allowed Sommer to escape; and he fled across the Jumna, +where he organized another army. He was again defeated by the English, +and fled to Joodpoor, where he placed himself under the protection of +Prince Radspoota. Here he organized troops after the manner of those +in Europe, and vanquished the rajahs of Chitore, and Abeil. Again he +was compelled by the English to flee--but not by the force of arms +this time; his enemies intimidated the prince, his protector; and, in +order not to cause his highness any inconvenience, Sommer went to +Delhi, the chief city in India, where he sought the protection of +Najuf Khan. The full name of this ruler is: 'Mirza Nujuf Khan Zuelfikar +al Dowlah, commander-in-chief to the Great Mogul.' From him Sommer +received a hearty welcome." + +"This Sommer," observed the chair, "seems to have been a vagrant like +yourself." + +"I consider that a great compliment, your honor, and thank you for +it!" returned the prisoner. Then he resumed his confession: Sommer had +an opportunity the very first day to prove his gratitude for the +friendly reception accorded him by Najuf Khan. The mutinous Mahrattas +made a sudden attack that night on the residence of the Khan, and +would have assassinated him, had not Sommer hastened with the loyal +Mahrattas to the rescue, and vanquished the mutineers. And they were +fine fellows--devilish fine fellows, too--those mutinous Mahrattas! +The crack troop of the imperial army! They had once compelled a former +commander-in-chief, who had failed, for some reason or other, to pay +the troops, to sit, bound hand and foot, and with bare head in the +scorching sun, until he gave orders to have them paid. + +("I think it will be well to keep that episode from the ears of our +troops," observed the prince with a meaning smile.) + +In gratitude for his rescue, Najuf Khan charged Sommer with the +organization of his army; and in a short time he, Sommer, got together +a force of natives, and Europeans, sufficient to conquer a neighboring +province, the chief city of which is Agra; he also captured the +so-called impregnable citadel of Drig, in which rock-fortress he +imprisoned nabob Nevil Szig. + +In reward for this victorious campaign, the emperor of Delhi appointed +Sommer king of the conquered province of Sardhana. Thus, the son of a +grocer in Treves became the sovereign of an East Indian province. + +I trust the honorable gentlemen of the court have received this +somewhat prolix preface with favor. I believed it necessary, in order +to familiarize you with the marvelous changes, which are worked by a +mysterious fate in that tropical clime, where alone such changes are +possible. + +If I could but delineate approximately the peculiarities of that +region, of the atmosphere I breathed, the ground I trod, I believe the +honorable gentlemen would say: "Arise, and go your way in peace. You +are not to blame for what you have done. Your transgressions are but +the fruits of the soil which produces also the boa and the upas tree." + +The province of Sardhana is ten times as large as the grand-duchy of +Treves; and the revenue of its sovereign four times that of the grand +duke. + +It is a very fruitful country, rich in grain, wool, and tobacco. +Sommer built a fort near his residence; and with the aid of his troops +kept the neighboring provinces under subjection. He forced a passage +through the forests of Mevas, into which, until then, none of the +foreign conquerors had been able to penetrate; which had formed an +impassable barrier for the great Alexander on his triumphal march; +baffled the hordes of Djingis Khan, whose inhabitants sallied forth +only when they desired to levy tribute on a neighboring tribe. + +After vanquishing these savages, Sommer directed his attention toward +the inhuman Balluken, who offered the blood of young girls in +sacrifice to their gods, and in a very short time succeeded in +dislodging them from their rocky retreat. Ultimately, he undertook to +subdue the royal Pertaub Singh, which he accomplished--but not through +the force of arms: by his powers of persuasion, which he possessed to +a marvelous degree. + +Sommer's patron, as was natural, wished to bestow on his successful +commander-in-chief a new reward for all these conquests. There was a +beautiful young girl, named Zeib Alnissa (the Hindoo for "ornament of +her sex"), the daughter of one of the most influential princely +families in Delhi, and this girl the emperor sought in marriage for +his favorite. + +Sommer informed his patron that he would espouse the beautiful Zeib +Alnissa if she would adopt the Christian faith. + +"Why," exclaimed the emperor, "can't you love a woman who worships +Brahma?" + +"Oh, yes, your imperial highness," responded Sommer; "it is because I +should love her very much, that I want her to belong to my faith. I am +not a young man any more, and I have a profligate son whom I have +been forced to disown. If I should die, my wife, according to the +Brahminical custom, would be burned alive with my body. If she becomes +a Christian, she will not have to ascend the funeral pyre, but my +throne, where she will reign as Begum, and prevent my kingdom from +falling into the hands of my worthless son." + +The emperor conceded that Sommer's argument was just; and permitted +the foreign missionaries to convert the lovely young princess to the +Christian faith. This was a concession never before granted to a +European in India. + +Zeib Alnissa adored her husband. She accompanied him on every +expedition he undertook; watched over him; guarded him from the secret +enemies and treachery which encompass every East Indian sovereign. The +successful commander-in-chief had many enemies and rivals. The English +company had long ranked among his opponents. Not infrequently he was +rescued as by a miracle from great danger by the watchful care of his +devoted wife. + +Ultimately, however, his enemies succeeded in their attempts on his +life; and the brave commander-in-chief succumbed to the poison +secretly administered to him. He died in the arms of the faithful Zeib +Alnissa, just about the time I arrived in Sardhana, to take command of +his artillery. + +His widow, under the title of Sumro Begum, ascended the throne, thus +preventing, as her husband had desired, her step-son from inheriting +it. + +This son was a truly immoral and wicked fellow. I saw him for a few +minutes after the Begum's accession to the crown, and after she had +confirmed my appointment as commander of the fort. He actually had the +effrontery to try to bribe me to betray the Begum into his power; and, +on finding that his efforts were useless, he threatened to revenge +himself on me when he should come into possession of the throne. + +"Very well," I retorted. "When that time comes I shall become a +regicide." + +How little I dreamed then, that my words were prophetic! + +Meanwhile, Sumro Begum grasped with a firm hand the reins of +government. She increased her army, and added several pieces of +ordnance to the artillery. + +Seated on a spirited battle-horse, or elephant, she inspected the +manoeuvers in person. + +Her neighbors in the adjacent provinces very soon learned to fear and +respect her; even the emperor gave her credit for great prudence and +wisdom. Indeed, so great was the influence she wielded, that her voice +frequently decided the issue in the discussions at court. + +Those East Indian dignitaries are a jealous folk. When Gholam Kadir +found that his influence at the imperial court was secondary to that +of Sumro Begum, he marched with his troops on the capital, and began +to bombard the palace. Sumro Begum, however, heard the thunder of the +cannonading, and hastily summoning her troops, joined her forces to +those of Prince Ivan Buk, and drove the jealous Gholam Kadir back to +his province. + +The revolt in the interior of his empire concluded, the emperor was +at liberty to turn his attention to the foreign invader. Kuli Khan had +captured the fortress of Ghokal Gur. This valuable stronghold had to +be recaptured; and troops were not lacking, but leaders were. Sommer's +loss was most keenly felt; but Sumro Begum was still to the fore, and +she was worth a dozen ordinary generals. + +The imperial troops had been trying for three weeks to recapture the +fortress of Ghokal Gur. They had become tired of the continued +ill-success of their undertaking, and had abandoned themselves to +feasting and carousing. One night, after all tipsy heads had been laid +to rest, Kuli Khan, with his Mongolian cavalry, surprised the imperial +camp, and began to slaughter the stupefied troops. The enemy in the +fortress could see by the light of the burning tents the horrible +butchery going on outside the walls, and decided to take a hand in it. +The emperor's tent was riddled with bullets; two of his palanquin +bearers were killed, and he was obliged to seek flight on his own +feet. But, whither to turn he knew not, as he was in the center of a +furious cross-fire. + +It is quite certain that he would have been destroyed, together with +his entire army, had not Sumro Begum hastened to the rescue, with her +admirably disciplined troops, officered by Europeans. + +On hearing of the emperor's danger the heroic Begum summoned her +body-guard--hardly one hundred men--entered her palanquin, and +hastened, with the battery under my command, toward the thickest of +the fight. + +When she saw that the enemy from the fortress was taking part in the +massacre of the half-sober imperial troops, she called to me: + +"Follow my example!" + +Then, she sprang from her palanquin, mounted a horse, and at the head +of her body-guard, charged upon the enemy. + +I knew very well what was expected of me! I placed my battery in such +a position that the guns would clear a way for the Begum. + +In a very short time the valiant enemy, who had sallied forth from the +fortress to take a hand in slaughtering their beleaguerers, were in a +wild retreat toward it. Sumro Begum met them at the draw-bridge, took +the commander prisoner, and, with him in chains at her side, entered +the fort, of which she took possession in the name of the emperor. She +left all but ten of her men to guard the fort, and returned to the +assistance of the emperor, whose troops, taking courage from the +example of the brave Begum, plucked up heart, turned upon their +butchers, and after a severe struggle gained the mastery. + +The rising sun witnessed the annihilation of the enemy. + +The fort was again in the possession of the emperor, who, in face of +his entire army, embraced Sumro Begum, and called her his "dear +daughter." He did not hesitate to declare, in the presence of his +commanding officers, that he owed his life, the lives of six imperial +princes, his empire, and the rescue of his army, to the brave woman. + +To this the Begum, with a modest blush, made reply: "Not to me alone +is due all this praise, your imperial highness. The greater portion +belongs to my commander of artillery. This is he"--she drew me forward +and presented me to the emperor. "To him must be given a fitting +reward for the great service he has done your imperial highness." + +The answer to this was: + +"Let yourself be the brave man's reward!" + +With his own imperial hand he placed the lady's hand in my own, and +betrothed her to me with a ring from his own finger. At the same time +he appointed me co-regent of Sardhana, under the name of Maharajah +Kong. Thus, I became--not a captain, but a maharajah. + +"And all this really happened?" inquired the chair. + +"Yes, your honor, and more too--as you may read in the court +chronicles at Delhi." + +"We will hear the rest tomorrow," observed the prince. "It is enough +for one day to have heard how the son of an Andernach tanner became +assistant sovereign of a province in India." + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +IDOL WORSHIP. + + +The next day the prisoner resumed his confession: + +I was now ruler of a province, with a revenue of twenty lacs of +rupees. I had a remarkably handsome and clever wife, with eyes than +which no gem was brighter. + +But, there was a thought that troubled me night and day: + +What was to become of my wife in Holland? + +My religion forbade two wives. This thought so troubled me, that at +last I confided it to Sumro Begum. + +"I don't see why you considered that necessary," interrupted the +chair. "You had already told so many lies, another one would certainly +have found room beside the rest!" + +I beg your honor to remember that I vowed at the grave of my poor +father to lead a God-fearing life, and to let nothing but the truth +pass my lips. The ring made of the coffin-nail, which I wore on my +thumb, constantly reminded me of my vow. Therefore, I considered it my +duty to tell Sumro Begum that I had a legal wife in Holland; and that, +were I to go back to her, I should find my child on her bosom. + +The Begum was not in the least offended when I made my confession; on +the contrary, she commended me for telling the truth. "He who proves +himself faithful to the absent one, will certainly remain loyal to the +one at hand," she quoted. Only a religion stood between her and me; +and that might easily be changed. + +"If we remain Catholics, of course two wives are out of the question," +decided the Begum, "because that would be bigamy. If we go over to the +Brahmans, their sacred books forbid the wife to occupy the throne with +her husband, and the widow from marrying again. But, there is the +faith of Siva; it permits a man to have more than one wife; it +acknowledges no difference of rank between man and man--as do the +Brahman and the Christian religions--nor does it consider a woman a +soulless animal, men and women are alike human beings. An adherent of +the Siva faith may even take a foreigner to wife; he may eat at the +same table with his wife, or wives, after the grace before food, +prescribed by the Prophet Bazawa, has been repeated. We will adopt +this faith, then you may keep your other wife, and I will share with +her your love and respect." + +I thought over this suggestion for several days, for the fate of an +entire province depended on my decision. + +On the one hand a people whose prosperity depended on how I would +settle the question; a yearly income of several million thalers, a +beautiful and clever wife with a heart filled with love for me, with +all the delights of paradise on her lips--on the other: the Roman +pope, with St. Peter's keys in his possession! + +In my position, your highness, and honorable gentlemen, how would you +have decided? + +"Get along with you, _perversus nebulo_!" exclaimed his highness, +smiling. "You want us to commit ourselves, do you? I'll warrant you +suspect what would have been our decision! I don't in the least doubt +but even the mayor here, would elect to kiss a beautiful woman rather +than the pope's slipper--especially if the choice were submitted to +him in the province of Sardhana! It is enough: you became an idol +worshipper--forced to it by circumstances. It is your own affair, and +one which you will have to settle with a higher tribunal than this +one. This indictment may be erased from the record." + +Not even the mayor objected to this decision. At first, though, he +wrinkled his brows and looked serious; but in the end he smiled with +the rest; and dictated to the notary, that the transgression last +confessed might be recorded as condoned by the court. + +Most worthy and honorable gentlemen, resumed the prisoner, I must now +tell you something about the customs and manners of that land whither +I had been led by the hand of destiny. Even the sky over there is +unlike ours. Why, the sun of Holland would not do for a moon in India! +Yon flaming heavens heat the blood and brain to boiling; the humid +atmosphere creates phenomena which are like the phantasmagoria of +delirium; triple suns, and wreaths of flame appear in the sky; when +frequently the mysterious _Fata Morgana_ portrays inverted landscapes, +and cities; the vivid coloring of the clouds causes the most brilliant +hues on the earth below to appear faded and insignificant. + +Forests, fields, houses, human beings, at times take on an ocherous +hue, as if the world were dead; and when a rain falls, it is a deluge +of fire from a sky of brass. And sometimes, the cloud-burst will be +like a rain of blood, and the whole earth will glow with the most +brilliant crimson hue. + +On very, very hot days, when the native farmers trudge along the +high-road (the high caste native never travels on foot, nor appears in +public at midday) the dust rising from their feet looks like a fiery +mist, and makes one think he is looking on the damned in hades walking +amid the flames! + +And there too the soil is so different from ours. There the plants we +grow in pots in our hot houses thrive and luxuriate under the open +sky, and form a wilderness, the lurking place of tigers and lions, in +which the fragrance of the very air is intoxicating as wine. + +The hundred different varieties of fruits, which ripen in succession +throughout the year, explain sufficiently how a people that outnumbers +the entire population of Europe are able to subsist on vegetable diet +alone, without the nourishment of meats, which their religion +prohibits. + +The borasses palm supplies them with honey, oil, wine, and sugar; +another palm yields flour, butter, and milk; and they have a tree on +which grow loaves of bread the size of a human head; raw, this +vegetable bread is a sweet fruit; baked, it is as palatable as a +bakers' loaf and-- + +"Stop! stop!" cried the chair, rapping on the table with his stick. +"That is going too far! Of all the lies you have told us, this one +about loaves of bread growing on a tree is the most outrageously +incredible." + +"I am very sorry that your honor refuses to believe there is such a +tree. The proof that I am not lying may easily be obtained, if your +honor will send a deputation to India, to make inquiries concerning +the truth of my statements, if it turns out that a single one of them +is lacking in truth, then your honor may disbelieve all the rest." + +"Oho!" sneered the chair, "you would like to postpone this trial for a +year or more, while a searching commission travelled to the end of the +world and back--wouldn't you? We prefer to believe that living +creatures also hang on trees like fruits." + +"And so they do!" responded the prisoner. "There is a sort of large +squirrel, or small dog, that has wings and flies, and at night hangs +by its hind legs to the limbs of trees, and looks like a gourd." + +"Didn't I say so?" again interrupted the chair with a choleric laugh. +"Flying dogs that sleep hanging by their feet! Go on with your fables, +you reprobate!--this honorable court is sitting for the sole purpose +of believing every lie you choose to tell. I am curious to hear how +your bread growing on trees, and your flying dogs are going to clear +you of the crimes of bigamy and regicide." + +I am coming to that, your honor. The entire world which environs the +human being in that distant land, works an irresistible influence on +his nature, and the native inhabitant compels, with his peculiar +religion, customs, his deeply-rooted prejudices, the foreigner +resident to adopt a mode of life antipodal to that he led at home. + +The majority of the natives wear no clothing at all; while the rest +bend under a costly burden of greatest splendor. + +The Indian is a mixture of the ideally perfect, and the grotesquely +hideous, heroic at one moment, cowardly the next, free as a bird, and +restricted as an anchorite. He is to be envied for his paradisal +simplicity, and admired for his gigantic creations. His cities surpass +in magnificence and grandeur those of Europe. His churches are +mountains, enormous edifices hewn by artist hands from a single rock; +with thousands of majestic columns, and armies of idols; while his +huts are more abjectly wretched than the dwellings of our beavers. The +Indian, with his thousand gods, to all of whom he renders service and +sacrifices--and of whom not one possesses the power to help him--is so +gentle-hearted, that he will not take the life of an animal; allows +himself to be devoured by lions and tigers; crushed under foot by the +rhinoceros; bitten by serpents; and stung by venomous insects--and +yet, he considers it no sin to exterminate an entire neighboring folk. + +Oh, that is a strange country: where the aristocrat, if touched by a +member of another caste, considers himself defiled, and possesses the +right to cut off the hand, or arm that touched him, and the mutilated +pariah accepts the punishment as his due. Where the wife is burned +alive on the funeral pyre of her husband; where the invalid is placed +on the banks of a river, and declared to be already dead, so that, +should he recover, he may not return to the living, but seek the +"community of the dead," which is made up of one-time invalids, +recovered like himself. + +Dwelling amid such a people, every idea the European entertains when +he lands on that shore very soon fades away; for, there, they have +different virtues and different sins. + +"This lengthy dissertation I take it," interrupted the chair, "is for +the purpose of acquainting the court that bigamy and regicide are +permissable crimes among that wonderful people?" + +Bigamy is permissable, your honor, on conditions: if the first wife +consents, her husband may marry a second. But, before the consent of +the first wife is secured, he may not kiss and embrace his second. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +MAIMUNA, AND DANESH. + + +My beautiful Zeib Alnissa was a wonderful woman. On the day of our +wedding, which was celebrated with truly Asiatic splendor, when +meal-time came, and I took my seat at the head of the table, she could +not be induced to sit by my side; but seated herself at the extreme +lower end of the board. This custom, she said, we should have to +observe, until we received my first wife's consent to our marriage, +which would give my second the right to repeat the Bazawa grace before +food. Until my new wife was entitled to perform this ceremony we were +not allowed to drink from the same cup; were not permitted to clasp +hands, or look into each other's eyes. I might not have respected all +these rigid laws, which kept me separated from my beautiful bride, had +not Zeib Alnissa herself understood how to compel me to respect them. + +The Siva religion prohibits the use of wine, which is to be regretted; +for, in that tropic zone, grow hundreds and hundreds of different +sorts of fruits, which would yield nectarious beverages, the taste of +which would cause one to forget all about wine, and disgust one with +beer. Tons of deliciously sweet and aromatic sap flow from the pierced +palm, and the agave, and its effect on the human senses is nothing +like the stupor which results from drinking our liquors; it is rather +a state of exaltation. + +My charming bride understood well how to entertain me with tales of +her native palm forests. She related the history of Prince Kamir +Essaman, and the Princess Bedur. She told me how the prince, who lived +in India, and the princess, whose home was in Persia, were brought +together while they slept, by the two friendly genii, Maimuna and +Danesh, who bore the sleeping lovers on their pinions to the place of +meeting, and then back to their homes again. It was an interesting +tale, but I grew very sleepy while listening to it. I am convinced +that the spicy potion Zeib Alnissa prepared for me caused the +drowsiness, and I only remember that, as I sank back on my pillow, she +placed the prohibitory unsheathed sword between herself and me. + +The moment I closed my eyes in sleep I quitted this earth. I could +hear the rustle of wings as I was borne swiftly through the clouds, +which parted with a sound like thunder--as when they are rent by +lightning. By the light of the stars I could see that I was lying on +the wings of the Jinnee, Danesh. + +He was of gigantic form; his wings, like those of a bat stretched from +horizon to horizon; his hair looked like bamboo rods, and his beard +like palm leaves. + +So swift was our flight that the moon changed from full to last +quarter above us. A meteor raced to overtake us, but, when it came +abreast with Danesh, he thrust out his foot, and gave it a kick that +burst it, and sent myriads of sparks flying in all directions. +Looking downward, I saw China, which I recognized by its porcelain +towers, and long canals. Then Thibet, with the snow-clad summits of +the Himalayan range, and the great Mongolian plain. + +At last we arrived over Mount Ararat. I knew where I was, by the +tongues of flame which encircled the mount like a wreath. They were +the altars of the fire-worshipping Parsees--the source of Baku's +eternal fires; and Danesh was one of the great spirits of the +flame-adoring heathen. On the summit of Mount Ararat was a magnificent +palace--to describe its splendors is impossible to the human tongue! +Its walls were covered with the names of those persons who have been +happy, and have thanked God therefor. The letters in which the names +are written are so radiant, they make night as light as day. + +Here, in a sumptuous apartment, with silken hangings, and glittering +with gems, Danesh laid me gently down on a divan; and immediately +began to laugh in a tone that sounded like thunder. + +In answer to his laughter, there came a sound from the air, as if the +balmy south wind were murmuring a complaint. + +"You are the one-hundred-thousandth part of a minute late," called +Danesh. + +"And you are three-hundred-thousand eons ahead of time," replied the +second Voice; and the next instant Maimuna descended from the sky. + +This Jinnee was also of giant stature, but of feminine form. Her +ringlets were of sea-coral, her wings of gleaming mother-of-pearl, +and on them she bore a woman whom she laid by my side on the divan. + +Then the two genii suddenly changed to vapor; one blue, the other +yellow; and while I was staring at them the two columns of smoke sank +into two large crystal decanters, which stood on the table among the +costly viands and wines. + +Then I turned to look at the woman by my side--it was my own wife, the +one I had left in Nimeguen, only that she was more beautiful, and +garbed more elegantly than I had ever seen her. + +Her voice too was sweeter, her caresses more endearing; she seemed +more like a celestial being than a woman of flesh and blood. We +showered kisses on each other; I could read in her radiant countenance +how overjoyed she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured to +clasp her once more in my arms. + +[Illustration: "I could read in her radiant countenance how overjoyed +she was to be with me again; and I was enraptured to clasp her once +more in my arms"] + +We committed a thousand foolish acts; laughed, teased each other like +children. We seated ourselves at the bountifully spread board; I +shared every bite she took; drank out of her glass; we sat on the same +chair, drank of every bottle, and found each one sweeter, more +delicious than the last. + +"Let us taste what is in those bottles too," suggested my wife, +pointing toward the two decanters--one blue, the other yellow. + +"Yes, let us," I assented, and I drew out the glass stoppers. But, +instead of wine, two columns of vapor rose from the decanters, one +blue, the other yellow, and filled the room. The vapor took shape, +first the blue then the yellow, and one became Danesh, the other +Maimuna, and we knew that our bliss was at an end--that we should have +to part. + +We added our names to those gleaming on the walls, to certify that we +also had been happy there. + +After I had written my name, it occurred to me that I had something +important to tell my wife; so I said to her: "My love, I must tell you +that I have become a king; and that I have taken a second wife. I want +to ask a favor of you; will you consent to let me kiss and embrace her +as I do you?" + +The woman replied: "I do consent." + +That I might have proof of our having spent a blissful hour together, +and that she had given me the desired permission to take a second +wife, she pressed my hand so tightly in her own, that the wedding ring +on my finger--the one with which I had espoused her--burst asunder. +And that she also might possess evidence of our meeting, I gave her +the "lingam"--the symbol of the Siva faith--I wore on my arm attached +to a gold bracelet. I also tore from the canopy over our divan a small +piece of the material of which it was made--crimson silk woven with +dragons in gold thread. + +Then the two genii took us again on their wings, and soon I was +speeding again amid the clouds, with the glittering stars above me. + +The icy summits of the Himalayas were already gleaming with the rosy +hues of dawn, on noting which Danesh increased his speed. I heard the +sea murmuring below--a ray of sunlight from the eastern mountains +pierced through Danesh like an arrow, he dropped me and I fell to the +earth. Fortunately I had not far to fall--only from my bed, in the +palace of Sardhana, to the floor! + +"Was it necessary to tell us what you dreamed?" angrily demanded the +chair. + +"Well, your honor, if the court at Nimeguen accepted my dream as +evidence, and based its decision on it, I think it may also be +recorded here. Moreover, the vision I have related is an important +factor in this case." + +I was so deeply impressed by my dream, that I related it to Zeib +Alnissa as an actual occurrence. I assured her I had really been with +my other wife, in proof of which I showed her the broken ring on my +finger. + +"It is a most wonderful occurrence!" was Zeib Alnissa's comment, when +I concluded my recital. "Write out the whole vision, exactly as you +related it to me, and we will send it to your wife in Holland. One of +my captains shall hasten with the document after the messenger you +have sent to her with the letter asking her to consent to our +marriage." + +I acted in accordance with the suggestion, and wrote on a long strip +of Chinese palm-paper, which is tough as leather, a full account of my +vision. The Begum then sent for seven bonzes, who were skilled +writers, that they might, by signing their names to the account, +certify that what I had written had really occurred; that Maimuna and +Danesh were a well known pair of genii, who maintained direct +communication between India and other portions of the globe, and that +there was on Mount Ararat a magnificent palace for the use of lovers +who came from distant parts of the world to meet there. All of which +was to prove indubitably that I and my wife from Holland had been +together in the palace. + +This document dispatched, I believed the question of the prohibitory +sword between me and Zeib Alnissa settled; but I was mistaken; she did +not repeat Bazawa's grace at supper. + +"On what are you waiting now?" I asked. "Haven't I asked my other wife +for her consent? Haven't I been with her, and given her my lingam?" + +"Yes, but she has not yet given you anything. Until I have her written +consent in my hands, I dare not repeat Bazawa's blessing," was Zeib +Alnissa's smiling reply. + +"And I shall have to wait at the gates of paradise, content myself +with inhaling the perfume of the flowers within the walls, until our +messenger has twice traversed the ocean between India and Holland?" + +"He will need to cross only once. I ordered him to take with him +several doves, the species with green feathers known as bridegroom's +doves. When your wife has written her consent, the messenger will bind +it under the wing of a dove, and it will fly from Holland to us here +in two days. So, you need reckon only the outward voyage." + +But that would take considerable time too! I began to wonder how I +should have comforted myself had I, instead of becoming an adherent of +Siva, adopted the faith of Brahma, or Vishnu, or any other of the +many-handed, many-footed deities. + +"Knave, what about Jehovah?" interposed the chair with just +indignation. + +"Jehovah, your honor, does not forbid polygamy. The patriarch Jacob +had two wives; David had four; Solomon the wise had one thousand four +hundred. But, it would be a pity to waste precious time over dogmatic +discussion. Besides, my wondering resulted in nothing. One hundred and +ten days and nights I passed in the society of my charming bride; we +ate at the same table; slept under the same canopy; but not once did I +clasp her hand, or kiss her lovely lips." + +"I am curious to know how you managed not to do either," observed the +prince. + +"Does your highness desire me to relate what happened on every one of +the one-hundred and ten days and nights?" + +"Not by any means!" hastily interrupted the chair. "We want only a +summary of your doings out yonder." + +The prisoner bowed, and resumed his confession: + +I determined that I would not again drink the sort of sleeping potion +which had sent me speeding among the clouds on Danesh's back, and +communicated my decision to Zeib Alnissa. + +"Very well," said she, "then I will prepare a drink for you that will +keep you awake all night." + +That would suit me. + +In India the preparation of elixirs of all sorts has reached a high +grade. There is a drug which, if taken by a man of mild disposition, +will make him warlike and fierce; it is called "bangue." + +By administering to the peaceable elephants a decoction of the +"thauverd," they can be made quarrelsome and ferocious for the combats +arranged for the Shah's guests. "Therat" will give one the +inspirations of a poet; after taking it, the most unimaginative person +will become a romancer, and composer of verses. The "Nazzarani" tax +can be collected from the natives only when they have become docile +and tractable from having eaten "mhoval" flowers--a species of manna. + +Zeib Alnissa gave me some "panzopari" to chew; it possesses a singular +property; it will make even the noisiest tippler so sober and sedate +that his brain becomes the seat of all wisdom. Then she began to speak +of her plans for the future government of our province, and other +equally important matters; continuing to talk to me until morning. And +during the whole time I remained quiet, and listened attentively; but +I saw what I had not yet noticed: that my incomparable bride had a +mole in the middle of her left cheek, and I also discovered that she +might be alarmingly loquacious if she chose. I could hardly wait until +the sun rose. Nothing will so effectually sober a man as advice from +his wife; and the remedy is frequently made use of in India as well as +in Europe. + +A true Indian Singh--that is what a nobleman is called out +there--undertakes nothing without first consulting his wife. Indeed, +there are some who never give an answer to a question until they have +asked their wives what they shall reply. For instance you ask: "What +sort of weather are we going to have this afternoon, Gholem Singh?" + +"I will consult my wife and tell you," he answers. + +In the afternoon he will say to you--and no matter if a deluge of rain +begins to fall while he is speaking: + +"We shall have fine weather this afternoon." + +The following day my bride and I set out on a tour of our kingdom--a +ceremony necessary to my installation as rajah. + +An entire brigade on horses, elephants, and camels, accompanied us as +escort. The Begum and I rode on separate elephants, as Indian +etiquette does not permit man and wife to occupy the same +"sovari"--that is what the sedan with a canopy on the back of an +elephant is called. + +The Begum travelled with the vanguard; I brought up the rear with a +good cannon bound to the back of my beast. A cannon, by the way, is a +very convenient travelling appendage to a journey in India, as one is +frequently called on to give a warm reception to the legions of +predatory bands which infest the highways and byways. + +My bride and I met only when our elephants chanced to come alongside +each other at the resting places. We took part in all sorts of +festivities. We bore with patience the wearisome ceremonies attendant +upon the adoration of the serpent, and Taku-worship; we even waded to +our knees in the sacred waters of the Ganges, at the Moharam +pilgrimage; and permitted the frantic Gusseins and fakirs at the +Holiza feast to shower over us the red dust of the highway. At the +Ganeza festival we distributed with our own hands the "muzzer," and +received in return the "khilla"--each word means gifts; the former is +bestowed by the sovereigns on their subjects; the latter are given by +the subjects to their rulers. Without this exchange of presents, the +sovereignty of the rulers would not be recognized by the people. We +visited in their turn all the principal towns and cities; the +god-burdened temples and pagodas, which are half church, half +tomb--the Jaina animal hospital, where the Hindoo takes care of +invalid dogs, cats, oxen, as well as crows, ravens, and turkeys. We +also honored with our presence the bayadere communities, where only +women dwell. These bayaderes are privileged characters, you must know; +they are allowed entry to the emperor's presence, to dance and sing +before him and his ministers. + +"Not a bad custom, by jove!" muttered the prince; aloud he asked: "Are +the bayaderes pretty?" + +"Enchantingly beautiful, your highness. Their garments are of silk and +cashmere, embroidered with real gold and pearls; their fingers and +toes are loaded with rings set with precious gems. Their gowns show a +lack of material as do those worn by our women, with this difference: +the shoulders and bosoms of our women are left bare; while the +bayaderes expose the lower extremities, sometimes even to the--" + +"Stop! stop!" irritably called the chair. "We don't want a full +description of heathen toilets!" + +We also arranged, for the entertainment of our subjects, a number of +gorgeous spectacles, and tournaments, resumed the prisoner, dropping +the subject of bayadere fashions. There were combats between +elephants, and combats between elephants and men. (The former are +called "Mufti;" the latter "Satmari.") There were also combats between +lions and boars, and between tapirs. + +In return for all these festivities, my bride's relatives entertained +us with a feast of lanterns; and games of chess, which were played +with living chess-men. We also visited the most remote corners of our +kingdom, where dwelt the Thugs, a community whose faith permits them +to strangle all foreigners; the Bheels, who worship epidemics instead +of gods; the colony of the Quadrumans, whose king is called "Dengue," +and his subjects "apes." + +Every day of our journey brought something new and interesting. After +our visit to the "City of the Seven Sages" we went to the "City of the +King's Tombs," where are four magnificent temples, under each of which +rest the remains of a king. There are no other inhabitants in this +city. + +Then followed the pilgrimage to Buddha's tree; for, although we were +adherents of the Sivan faith, we were obliged, in order to win the +favor of the majority of our subjects, to pay deference to their +deity. + +Then we journeyed to the "Fountain of Wisdom." There the temple is +guarded by bayaderes, who are not permitted to dance anywhere else but +in the sacred edifice in adoration of the gods. + +"A respectable temple, I must say!" ironically commented the chair, to +which the prince appended his good-humored observation: + +"Their liturgy can't be very tedious!" + +During all this time, I saw my bride only when she was seated on a +throne, on an elephant, or in a palanquin. The opportunities for an +exchange of words were rare. On the one hundred and tenth day we set +out on our return home. On the morning of that day, Zeib Alnissa sent +me a letter in which she gave me the welcome news that what might be +called our "St. Joseph's marriage" would soon come to a conclusion. +The carrier dove had returned from Holland with the longed-for consent +from my first wife. + +Before leaving our capital, we had arranged for a fitting reception to +greet our return. When our cavalcade should approach the city gates, +all the most distinguished residents, the raos, the singhs, the sages, +bonzes and holy men were to meet us at the head of a gorgeous pageant +and greet me as "Rajah," to which title our tour would have given me +the right. + +Then would follow a splendid feast, that would conclude with the +"utterpan" ceremony, in which every guest receives from the rajah's +own hands a handkerchief perfumed with rose-water. + +The rajah receives the utterpan from his wife, of whom he may demand +that the rose-water perfuming be performed in the zenana. + +The zenana is that portion of the palace which only the rajah and his +wives may enter. + +I am ashamed to confess it, honorable gentlemen of the court, but I +was so rejoiced, so proud of my success, my extraordinary good fortune +filled my soul to such a degree, that I never once thought to offer a +prayer to the god Siva, who had bestowed all the good gifts on me, or +to Jehovah, who could take them all from me. + +The fakir, who, in his religious enthusiasm, carries on his head a pot +of earth until the orange seed planted in it sprouts, grows to a tree, +blooms and bears fruit; who binds himself to a post, that he may sleep +standing so as not to lose his balance and drop the pot from his +head--that fakir does not suffer half as much as did I those one +hundred and ten days and nights, when I was forced to refrain from +saying to the most beautiful of women: "O, thou my sweetest one!" + +But the last day of such restraint and torture was at hand. Before us +lay the capital; the gilded roofs of its palaces gleamed through the +humid atmosphere. + +Already I could see rising from the market-place the "baoli," under +which the three-legged stone cow waited (as all believers know) for +the hour of midnight to hobble to her pasture outside the walls. +Already I saw the multitude in gala attire press forth from the +elaborately carved gates, on horses, on camels, on foot--a mingling of +gold, gems, beauty, flowers, with rags, filth and unsightly scars. + +Zeib Alnissa, as usual, rode at the head of the cavalcade, and I at +the end, separated from her by a cannon shot range. + +When the multitude from the city met the head of our cavalcade, there +ensued a tumult of shouts and cries, but I was too far away to +distinguish what was occurring. I could see, though, that Zeib Alnissa +had risen to her feet in the sovari, and was gesticulating excitedly. + +I was deliberating whether I should ride forward or remain where I +was, when a fakir forced his way to my side. He was the most hideous +specimen of his class I had yet seen; his appearance indicated that he +had vowed not to cut his hair nor his finger nails for a decade. + +"What do you want?" I called down to him. + +"I want you to let me come up there and sit beside you in the sovari," +he made answer. + +One is obliged to comply with any demand these holy men may see fit to +make--especially in face of such a multitude. I leaned over the side +of my beast, seized the fakir by the hair, and drew him into the +sovari. + +"Lucky for you that you granted my request," he said, when he was +seated by my side. "You have saved your life by so doing. Know that a +revolt broke out in the city during your absence. The conspirators +declared that the Begum forfeited the throne by marrying you, and have +proclaimed the valiant Singh Rais, the son of her first husband, Sumro +Shah, rajah of Sardhana. He has taken possession of the city and +bribed the army to support him. He has already executed the subjects +who remained loyal to you and the Begum, and the same fate awaits +you--if he captures you." + +Though loath to believe the fanatic's ill tidings, I was forced to +credit my eyes, which at that moment saw rude hands lay hold of my +beloved Zeib Alnissa, tear her from the sovari, bind her hands, and, +amid the taunts and sneers of the shameless nautchnees, compel her to +walk to the gates, while a man, wearing the pearl-decorated hat of a +sovereign, climbed to the vacated seat in the sovari. + +It was the infamous profligate who, by reason of the honors to which +his father had attained, was a prince, but who was, by birth, merely a +German nobody, like myself. + +He had deposed the Begum as he had threatened, had laid chains on +her--the heroic deliverer of her people--and this he had been able to +accomplish because he had become an adherent of the religion of +Buddha, and because the Begum had become a worshipper of Siva-- + +"The like of that never could have happened in Europe," interpolated +the prince. + +My rage and fury were boundless. In one brief moment to lose my +kingdom and my bride; to be robbed of power and love; to be forced to +look on helpless while a cowardly knave stole my treasures, chief of +which was my beautiful Zeib Alnissa! + +It was more than Christian patience and Siva humility could endure. + +I unstrapped the cannon at the back of the sovari. The new rajah was +haranguing the crowd gathered about his elephant, and gesticulating +rapidly with his hands, as he gave his orders. + +I took aim at his majesty--Boom! The next instant there was no head on +the rajah's shoulders, but his arms continued to move convulsively. + +Then I turned my elephant's head in the opposite direction, and urged +him to the swiftest gait he was able to go. + +A troop of horsemen followed me, but I dashed into the jungle, and +soon distanced my pursuers. My life was saved, but only my miserable +life. I had nothing, was nothing-- + +"Oh, yes," interrupted the chair, "you were a good deal: the husband +of two wives, and murderer of one king--" + +"_Minorem nego, majorem non concedo_," interposed the prince. "As the +prisoner's second marriage was--as he aptly described it: a St. +Joseph's union--merely one of form, he cannot be said to have +committed bigamy. And concerning the killing of the rajah--_qui bene +distinguit, bene docet!_--we would understand thereby that a crime had +been committed by a subject against a crowned head. But, if one king +kills another one, it cannot be called regicide, but ordinary +homicide, which, in the prisoner's case, was justifiable +manslaughter--" + +"I knew it!" exclaimed the chair. "I knew the rascal would talk +himself out of the three capital crimes: idolatry, bigamy, regicide, +and prove himself as innocent as St. Susanna!" + +But, continued the prisoner, even had I not been robbed of my wealth, +of what use would it have been to me? I had come to India to win the +rank of captain--not to become a rajah. It is a deal better to be a +pensioned captain than a deposed king. The new rajah of Sardhana set a +large price on my head; had I fled the accursed country then, I should +have spared myself the terrible misfortunes which overtook me later. + +I joined the Bandasaris, who have no fixed residence, but rove +continuously between the Ganges and the Indus. They are a race like +our gypsies. I believed I might organize them into an army and win +back my kingdom, and liberate my beautiful Zeib Alnissa, but the +blessing of God did not rest on my undertaking. + +When I had got my army ready to march to Sardhana, the chief of the +tribe changed his mind about letting me use his people to win back my +throne, and, instead, sold me to the English company, which +corporation had also offered a price for my head. Thus my unfortunate +cranium became the property of the powerful East India Company, and +there, if nowhere else, a man learns how to pray. + + + + +PART IX. + +ON THE HIGH SEAS. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE PIRATES. + + +The English did not think me of sufficient consequence to suspend me +in an iron cage over the crocodile pool. This honor was reserved for +the native shahs and rajahs. + +I was transported, with scant ceremony, to Bombay, from which city I +was shipped to sea, together with fifty other prisoners, who, like +myself, had come to India to seek their fortunes, and whose chief +crime was their nationality. They were natives of France, Holland, +Germany and Spain, and the East India Company believed it had a right +to arrest them and ship them in a body to New Caledonia. + +Now, honorable gentlemen of the court, I beg you to tell me which was +the pirate?--I, in the unseaworthy cutter, bound with chains to a +Spaniard, perspiring over my oars, sailing to New Zealand instead of +to New Caledonia, where the captain had been ordered to take us; +having nothing to eat and drink but dried fish and stale water, the +captain having again disobeyed orders, for the East India Company had +shipped honest biscuit, smoked meat and brandy for the prisoner's +food--which of us, I ask, was the pirate? the captain, who plundered +the helpless prisoners in his power and broke the maritime +laws--which, I ask, was the pirate; Captain Morder or I? + +"I say Captain Morder was the pirate--" and the prince emphasized his +reply by thumping the floor with his cane. + +Many thanks, your highness; I wanted the question decided, for, +against unauthorized force, self-defence is always justifiable. When +we poor exiles became aware that our vessel was going farther and +farther south, which we were able to judge from the stars; when, in +consequence of the wretched food, the scurvy broke out among us; and +when at last we also got a taste of the scourge, if we made any +complaint, we conspired together to release ourselves from our chains; +and to take possession of the cutter. + +My hidalgo comrade was an expert in such matters. He showed us how to +get rid of our manacles as easily as if they had been gloves or boots. +It is a very pretty trick, but I don't think I could show you how it +is done unless I received something in return-- + +"We don't want to learn the trick," interrupted the chair. "We have no +use for it." + +Well, after we had removed our fetters, we bound the sleeping crew, +and, without shedding one drop of blood, made ourselves masters of the +"Alcyona." + +Now, honorable gentlemen of the court, I ask you: Can what we did be +called mutiny? We were not the slaves of the East India Company; we +were not prisoners of war; nor were we criminals. The captain had no +right to chain us to the oars; we had done nothing to deserve +deportation to a savage country. + +On Captain Morder, however, rested most of the blame. He treated us +free men like negro slaves; he gave us nothing to eat for a whole week +but dried fish, though not all of us were papists; and to be more +disagreeably contrary, he gave us smoked meat on Fridays because the +majority of our crowd were Catholics. + +"That rascally captain deserved to be hanged to the tallest mast on +his ship!" exclaimed the justly indignant prince. + +Yes, your highness, he did, but we didn't hang him, because we +couldn't get hold of him. While we were securing the crew, he fled +discreetly to the powder-room, and threatened to blow up the ship when +we went to take him. We had to treat with him for terms. We assured +him we did not want to injure him; we only wanted to leave his ship. +To this he replied that we might go to the devil for all he cared. + +Then followed a twenty-four hour truce, and our first business was-- + +"To eat your fill," interposed the chair. + +Yes, your honor, to eat and drink all we wanted. Then we lowered the +large boat, supplied it with mast and sails; loaded it with all the +chests of biscuit, and casks of brandy it would hold, also a small +cannon. Then we cut into bits the rigging of the cutter; threw +overboard all the weapons we could find, in order that the captain +could do us no injury in case he took it into his head to pursue us; +took possession of his charts, compass, and telescope, and sailed away +one beautiful moonlight night without saying goodbye to any one. How +did Captain Morder reach home with the "Alcyona?" I really forget +whether I ever heard. + +There were fifty of us in the boat--five different nationalities. As I +was the only one who could speak the five different languages, I was +elected ship's patron, an office which differs from that of captain in +that the latter commands every one on board a vessel, while the former +carries out what his companions decide. + +"I see plainly to what this subtle distinction will lead," dryly +observed the chair. "Some one else will have to bear the blame for +whatever misdeeds the 'ship's-patron' committed." + +I am compelled to admire the honorable gentleman's keen perceptions, +returned the prisoner in his most deferential manner. In this case, +however, they are at fault; neither the ship's company nor its patron +did anything which deserved yard-arm punishment. + +Our intention, when we left the ship was to land in Florida, or the +Philippines, and there found a new republic. But more than one +unlooked-for hindrance prevented us from carrying out the plan. Hardly +had the "Alcyona" disappeared from view, when a dead calm settled down +on us; it was so still the sails hung in heavy folds from the yards; +we could make progress, and that only very slowly, when we employed +the oars. + +The calm continued for two days, during which not a breath of air +wrinkled the surface of the ocean. + +"Didn't you say you had taken all the provisions on the ship?" +inquired the chair. + +"Yes, your honor, but 'all' was only the one-half of 'many,' and +exactly the one-tenth of 'enough.' Even had there been 'many,' we had +'more' hungry mouths, and to take plus from minus is not permissable +in Algorithm." + +"And it can't be done," authoritatively interposed the prince. "You +can't take eight from seven unless you borrow. From whom did you +borrow, prisoner?" + +"From a crab-fisher we met, your highness. During a calm, the large +sea-crabs are more easily taken than at other times." + +The honorable gentlemen of the court will have learned from natural +history the peculiar characteristics of the sea-crab, which is of all +living creatures--the human being not excepted--the most timorous. +When a crab hears thunder or cannonading, he immediately flings off +one of his huge claws, in order that he may escape more quickly. + +Crab-fishers know this, and have made a compact with all warships, by +which the latter have agreed to refrain from firing off cannon when in +sight of a crabbing vessel. This is the reason all such vessels have a +large red crab painted on their sails. The compact also obliges the +fishers to deliver half of their catch to any warship they may meet on +the high seas. + +Consequently when we came in sight of the crabber we signalled for our +share of his catch. We had eaten all our dried fish, and were on +half-rations of biscuit. + +"Oho!" called the fisher when he came near enough to distinguish the +character of our craft. "How can you demand crabs of me? You aren't a +warship." + +"But we are hungry, and have a cannon on board. You know the result of +a cannon-shot during a calm!" + +This threat brought the argument to a conclusion; the crabber, +according to seaman's custom, shared his catch with us. + +"If," interposed the prince in a thoughtful manner; "If it was +according to seaman's custom it cannot be termed 'piracy.'" + +"No, certainly not!" ironically appended the chair. "It cannot be +termed piracy--only an act of playfulness--a bit of frolic! But, let +us hear what other pranks the band of fifty played with their cannon? +I will spread the map here on the table, so that I may follow the +course of your boat. I fancy I shall be able to tell from that whether +you and your fellows comported yourselves as honest seamen or thievish +pirates." + +There was an almost imperceptible twitch of the prisoner's left eyelid +when the mayor concluded his remark, and spread the map on the table +in front of him. + +In the neighborhood of the Marquesas Islands, honorable gentlemen, we +fell in with a Spanish ship loaded with coffee. The captain, in +response to our petition, supplied us with coffee, chocolate, and +honey. This enabled us to continue our journey; we sailed toward the +Aleutians, and met on our way a Russian merchantman, the owner of +which took pity on us, and gave us several barrels of good brandy and +salted fish. + +When we were near the island of Yucatan our provisions again gave out, +and we were compelled to borrow from an Italian trader some sago-palm, +flour and several boxes of sultanas. + +"What need had you of sultanas?" inquired the chair. + +Sultanas are not women, your honor, but dried grapes, which are packed +in boxes. When a man is starving he will eat anything! In the +neighborhood of Barbados a Turkish vessel very kindly gave us a supply +of pickled pork; and the captain of a Chinese junk we fell in with +near the Canary Islands, was friendly enough to share his wine with +us. + +When off Madagascar, a Greek captain loaded our boat so generously +with _rahut rakum_, it almost foundered under the weight; and when +near Terre del Fuego we-- + +"Hold! stop!" screamed the chair thumping with both fists on the map. +"If I wanted to make an accurate diagram of your course, I should have +to tie a thread to the leg of a grasshopper and let him loose on a +blank sheet of paper! A courier on horseback could not have made such +twists and turns!" + +"We did travel in a sort of zig-zag fashion," admitted the prisoner +deprecatingly; "but, you see, none of us understood navigation. +Besides, our charts were not accurate, and our compass full of whims." + +"Must have been a feminine compass!" jocosely remarked his highness. + +"To tell the truth, honorable gentlemen, I am not quite certain if +the names I have given you are the ones properly belonging to the +portions of the globe we visited. The excellent custom which obtains +in all civilized regions, of posting the names of places at the +street-corners, had not yet reached those remote corners. I can assure +you, however, that we really met all the ships I have mentioned, as we +were forced to beg our way over the limitless ocean." + +"Beg your way!" sarcastically interrupted the chair. "It seems to me +that fifty determined men, with small arms and a cannon, and a boat as +swift as yours might have overtaken almost any other craft afloat." + +"We did overtake a good many, your honor, and all of them very +willingly shared their provisions with us when they saw we were in +distress." + +"Do you remember meeting a merchantman from Bremen?" + +"Don't I? Don't I remember the generous gentleman! We met him near the +Cape of Good Hope. That point of land hasn't got its name for nothing! +It brought 'good hope' back to us! We were in tatters; the stormy +weather; long voyage; and many hardships had reduced our frames to +skeletons, our clothing to rags. When the brave man--blessed be his +memory!--came up with us, and saw our nakedness, he took off his own +coat and gave it to me--may heaven's blessings rest on him wherever he +may be!" + +"He tells quite a different story," responded the chair. "On his +return home, he complained to the Hansa League that a boat load of +pirates was sailing the high-seas, plundering, and levying +contributions, from all vessels it met. He also related how the +pirates had taken all his, as well as his crew's clothing. This must +be true; for no Bremen trader has ever been known willingly to give +coat of his to anyone. Bremen is not far away. We can summon the +complainant--whose name, I believe, is Schulze--and let him tell his +story here--" + +"May I beg that your honor"--quickly interposed the prisoner--"will at +the same time summon the witnesses who will testify for me? They are, +the Spanish merchant Don Rodriguez di Saldayeni, from Badajos; the +Russian captain, Bello Bratanow Zwonimir Tschinowink, from +Kamtschatka; the Italian, Signor Sparafucile Odoards, from Palermo; +the Turk, Ali Baba Ben Didimi Effendi, from Brusa; the Chinese +mandarin, Chien-Tsen-Triping-Van, from Shanghai; the Greek, Heros +Leonidas Karaiskakis, from Tricala; the--" + +"Enough! enough!" roared the mayor clapping his hands to his ears. "I +don't want to hear another name. Rather will I believe every word you +say! You were sea-beggars, impoverished voyagers--anything but +pirates! Will your highness permit us to erase also this indictment +from the register?" The prince assenting, his honor added: "Now we +will hear how the crime of cannibalism will be disposed of." + +"I will first take the liberty to remind the honorable gentlemen of +the court, that anthropophagy is not at all times considered a capital +crime. The inhabitants of the Fiji Islands look upon it as the only +proper method to dispose of a captured foe. The eating of human flesh +is a part of the religious cult of the Mexicans; and during the +Tartar invasion of Hungary, the people--as Rogerius proves--who had +been robbed of the necessaries of life, were forced to eat each other. +To such a condition of starvation we were also reduced, a fearful +hurricane having compelled us, while on the Pacific ocean, to throw +overboard all our stores in order to prevent the boat from sinking--" + +"Now you are telling another story," thundered the chair. "You say you +were on the Pacific ocean. If it is a _pacific_ ocean how is it +possible that such a storm as you describe raged there? You shall be +bound to the wheel, if you don't confess at once that hurricanes never +rage on the Pacific Ocean." + +Your honor is right--my memory served me ill--there are no such storms +on the Pacific Ocean. But there are sharks. The voracious beasts +surrounded our boat in such numbers that, in order to prevent them +from eating us, we gave them all our provisions, hoping to fall in +with a kind-hearted captain who would replenish our larder. But we +didn't meet a single ship. For two whole weeks we managed to keep +alive by eating our boots, and not until the last pair had been +devoured, did we decide to resort to the "sailor's lunch," and cast +lots which of us should be served up as such. + +My name was drawn, and I made up my mind to die calmly--_pro bono +publico_. But, when I began to remove my clothes, the Spaniard to whom +I had been chained on the "Alcyona," and for whom I entertained the +affection of a brother, stepped forward and said: + +"You shall not die, brave rajah. You have a wife--nay, two of them, +to whom your life is valuable. Here am I--your brother, who will +consider it a privilege, an honor--as did the brave Curtius when he +galloped into the abyss to save the republic--to fling myself into +these hungry throats!" + +With these words the noble fellow drew his sword, severed his head +from his body and laid it before us. + +"Did you eat any of him?" + +"I was starving, your honor." + +"That establishes your crime. The punishment for eating a body endowed +with a human soul is death at the stake, you--" + +"Hold," interposed the prince. "What portion of the Spaniard's body +did you consume, prisoner?" + +"His foot, your highness." + +"Has the human foot a soul?" + +"Why, certainly," answered the chair. "How frequently do we hear: 'His +sense or his courage are in his knees'--sense and courage cannot exist +without a soul. And, don't we say: 'Honest from his crown to his +toes'--whereby we establish that even the toes possess a soul.'" + +"These are merely phrases--maxims," returned the prince. "If the soul +extends to the extremities, then the man who has a foot amputated +loses a portion of his soul also; and it might happen, that +one-quarter of a human soul would go to paradise, and the other +three-quarters to hades--which it is absurd to suppose could be the +case. To my thinking this is so important a question, that only the +faculty of theology is capable of deciding it. Until those learned +gentlemen have delivered an opinion on the subject, we cannot go on +with this case. Therefore, the prisoner is remanded to his cell until +such decision shall arrive." + +A week was the time required by the learned faculty to discuss the +questions: "Does the soul extend to the extremities of the human +body?" + +If not, just where does it terminate? + +The decision was as follows: + +"The soul extends to the knees--for this reason man is required to +kneel when he prays. Consequently, that portion of the human frame +below the knees is a soulless appendage." + +"Then," decided the prince, when this decision was read to him, "the +indictment for cannibalism may also be stricken from the register." + + + + +PART X. + +UXORICIDE. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE SECUNDOGENITUR. + + +Although my crime has been most generously condoned by your highness, +I have not escaped punishment for it. I have suffered severely. After +partaking of the unnatural food, all in the boat were seized with +frightful convulsions, similar to those exhibited by a dog afflicted +with rabies. + +The smallest particle of the accursed food is sufficient to make a man +experience all the tortures of purgatory. I dare say the reason my +sufferings were not so severe as those of my comrades, I ate only the +foot. They foamed at the lips; their eyeballs burst from the sockets; +they bit each other, and rent and tore their own flesh. They bellowed, +roared, and whined, as dogs do at the moon. Many of them sprang at +once into the water and were devoured by sharks. + +When my worst torture passed, my limbs became cold and rigid as stone; +it was the marasmus. I could see, and hear, but I could neither feel +nor move. The fierce sun beating on my face threatened to burn out my +eyes, but I could not lift my hands to cover them. To seize the +horizon and draw it up to the zenith would have been an easier task +than to close my eyelids over the burning eyeballs. + +Yet, amid all this horrible pain, I had the feeling as if a faint +zephyr from fluttering wings were sweeping across my cheek. It was the +white dove perched on my shoulder, my beautiful white dove, who was +come to me again in my hour of direst need! She tried with her +outstretched wings to shield my face from the scorching sun, and the +blessed shadow brought such relief that I was at last able to close my +eyes in sleep. + +How long and whither the dismasted and rudderless boat drifted; +whether it touched any shore--I cannot remember. I don't know what +happened during my madness. + +My comrades in misfortune were lost; some drowned themselves to end +their agony; some died a horrible death in the boat. I alone was saved +by a heavenly providence for further trials. The drifting boat was +found by an Indian merchantman bound for Antwerp, and the noble +Christians aboard of her, believing life not yet extinct in my +miserable body, worked over me until they brought back the soul to its +earthly tenement. + +I forgive every enemy I have in the world; but my benefactor on that +Indian merchantman, who brought me back to life, I never can forgive. +Had he cast me into the waves instead of resuscitating me, I should +now be ambergris, for, as the honorable gentlemen know, that valuable +substance develops in the stomach of a shark, and I should have been +devoured by one of those voracious beasts. Instead of a wretched +criminal on trial for his many misdeeds, I should now, had I been +allowed to become ambergris, be swinging in a censer perfuming the +altar of a church. The care I received on board the Indiaman fully +restored my strength, and when we arrived in the harbor in Holland +there was no trace about me of the many hardships I had endured. + +I could hardly wait until I got back to Nimeguen to see my dear wife +and child. The child would be running about now--perhaps the mother +had taught it to call me by name! + +How happy I should be to be home again!--no captain, no rajah, but a +father. + +Not the consort of a Begum, but the husband of my wife. I blessed the +fate which had delivered me from the land of lions, tigers and +serpents. Had not I a tulip garden worth all the wealth of India? + +I turned night to day in order to reach home as quickly as possible, +and sent mounted estafets in advance to announce my coming. My wife, +who had increased in weight fully twenty-five pounds, had a splendid +repast prepared for me; and flung her arms around my neck when I +alighted from the carriage. + +After our first transports of joy were over, my first words were: + +"Now, where is my child?" + +"There they come," replied my wife, pointing, with a beaming +countenance, toward two nurse-maids who were descending the +staircase. One of the maids led by the hand a little toddling lad; the +other carried an infant in long clothes on her arm. + +"What--what does that mean?" I stammered, pointing toward the smaller +child. + +"That is your second born, you silly fellow!" replied my wife, smiling +affectionately. + +"My second born?" I exclaimed in amazement. "Why, I have been absent +for nearly three years." + +"Have you forgotten Maimuna and Danesh?" she whispered, hiding her +blushing face on my breast. "Have you forgotten our meeting in the +palace on Ararat?" + +"Maimuna and Danesh?--_Himmelkreuzelement!_" I exclaimed, unable to +suppress the forcible expletive. + +My wife, however, was roused to anger by it. Did I presume to doubt +her fidelity? she demanded in no gentle accents. Had she not in her +possession ample proof that she was true to me? Had she not my own +letter, in which I related at length the circumstances of our meeting +on Ararat, whither we had been taken by the two genii? Was a better +proof required than the lingam I had given her at that meeting--also +the fragment of stuff with gold dragons woven in it? And, if it was +true that I was a king at the time of our meeting on the mountain, +then the infant on the maid's arm must be a prince! + +"Woman," I returned in a severe tone, "this is not a matter for jest. +Visions are not real. That I dreamed a delightful dream I admit; but +this squalling brat is no dream! On the contrary, he is a very +disagreeable reality! I'll go at once to the burgomaster! I'll +denounce you to the arch-bishop! I'll summon the consistory! I will +not allow myself to be made a fool of!" + +"Very well," retorted my wife, "go to the burgomaster--go to the +arch-bishop--summon the consistory, make a tremendous ado, and you +will prove yourself a greater fool than I believed you!" + +I carried out my threat and rushed to the burgomaster's residence. He +was still asleep, but I dragged him out of bed, and told him the +French were coming to attack the town. That drove slumber from his +eyes; and I proceeded to lay my complaint before him. He kept yawning +the while so dreadfully that I feared he might swallow me before I got +through with my story. + +When I concluded, he deliberated several minutes, then said I should +come again the next day--he would have to think over the matter. + +I was forced to go back to my wife. I couldn't help myself, for I +hadn't a groschen to my name, and the Nimeguen inns will not receive a +guest unless he pays in advance for his entertainment. + +To my shame therefore I was compelled to go home, and now it was my +wife who raged and scolded. She said I might complain as much, and to +whomsoever I wanted, it would benefit me nothing. If I did not accept +the situation with a good humor, mine would be the loss--and so on. + +I bore her taunts, and revilings, in silence, for I felt great need of +supper and rest; but I said to myself: "There is a tomorrow--I'll have +my revenge then!" + +The next day I went again to the burgomaster; he was able to keep +awake this time. + +He asked me if he should speak to me as to a Nimeguen gunner, or an +East Indian sovereign? + +"As to an Indian rajah," I replied. + +"Very good!--also: Sublime Maharajah, nabob, or Shah--whichever is the +proper title--be seated." My title permitted me to put on my hat, +while respect for it obliged the burgomaster to remove his office cap. +He continued: "Be kind enough to answer the following questions: How +many wives does the law permit an Indian sovereign to marry? How many +elephants, camels, rhinoceroses, male and female genii, and other +draught cattle, is he allowed to employ in his service?" + +I saw what would be the result if I answered these questions, so I +said instead: + +"I beg pardon, your honor, but, on second thought, I believe I would +rather have you speak to me as to a gunner of Nimeguen--according to +European custom." + +"Very good again--also. You gunner-fellow, take off your hat this +instant!" he commanded, at the same time placing the cap on his head. +"As it is contrary to our Christian laws to take a second wife while +the first is still alive, I shall pronounce you guilty of bigamy, the +punishment for which is the pillory first, and the galleys afterward." + +This did not suit me either, so I interrupted: + +"May I beg that you will speak to me as to an Indian sovereign?" + +I put on my hat, but the burgomaster did not again remove his cap. He +said: + +"You had command of a province, and a pair of flying genii; therefore, +it is quite within the bounds of possibility that you and your first +wife were borne through the air to the meeting-place on the mountain +you mention. That being settled, what else do you complain of? Have +you lost anything?" + +"No, your honor, quite the contrary; I have found something; a son I +did not expect." + +"Is the child living?" + +"He is." + +"Well--if he is living he is alive. That which is, cannot be +denied--it is a fact, and that which is a fact cannot be termed +fiction--" + +This ridiculous un-reasoning angered me, and I interrupted him, +whereupon there ensued a war of words that raged furiously until it +culminated in an exchange of blows. + +The case was not one for a mere burgomaster to decide; I would submit +it to the consistory. I did not know then what I had undertaken! + +All Nimeguen is related; its citizens are cousins or brothers-in-law, +and withal exceedingly moral. If it so happens that any one of them +commits an indiscretion, all the rest take great pains to conceal the +misdeed. I don't mean that it is never mentioned in private; but there +is not a court of law in the land that could summon a witness who +would admit that he, or she, knew anything about the matter. In my +case, servants, neighbors, citizens, all averred that my wife was the +pattern of fidelity; that she had not been known to leave her house, +only when she went to confession and to church; that she had not even +bought a new cap during my entire absence. + +Consequently, my accusations were ridiculous, and wholly without +foundation. + +Her defense had a powerful base to rest on. There was the letter +written by my own hand on Chinese palm-paper, describing our meeting +in the palace on Mount Ararat, and attested by the bonzes, who, as +everybody knows, are learned men, and as worthy of trust as any member +of our chapter-house. + +Consequently, there must be such fairies as Maimuna and Danesh, else +the bonzes would not have testified to their existence. If there were +no such creatures in Europe, it was because the climate was too +severe. There are no elephants in Holland, yet no one would deny their +existence elsewhere--not even the man who had never seen one, would +deny that they roamed the jungles of India! Moreover, is there not +mention made in the Holy Scriptures of a chariot of fire journeying +with a passenger through the air? And did not Jonah make a voyage on +the ocean, in the stomach of a whale? + +If holy men could make such journeys, why should anyone deny that the +genii Maimuna and Danesh had carried a man and his wife to the palace +on Mount Ararat?--especially as both man and wife had desired the +meeting, whereas Jonah had never expressed the least desire to enter +the whale's belly. + +Added to this evidence, my wife possessed in the lingam absolute proof +of my having been with her on Ararat--also the fragment of +dragon-cloth, the like of which was not to be found in all Europe--all +irrefragable proofs! + +You may guess that the consistory did not hesitate long to deliver an +opinion. + +Although it was almost impossible to believe that so remarkable a +journey could have been accomplished a respectable and pious lady had +really travelled from Nimeguen on the wings of an East Indian Jinnee, +at night, to Mount Ararat, and back in the morning. + +Also: It was not at all likely that the said respectable and pious +lady, the former widow of a captain, wife of a gunner, and consort of +an Indian rajah, would demean her respectable station, and inflict a +stain on her wedded fidelity. Therefore, the woman accused of adultery +was guiltless; and the father of the _surculi masculi_ found at home +by the returned gunner, was no other than he, the _nuptiae +demonstrant_. And with this decision I was forced to be satisfied, +also with my wife and the infant. + +Here, the prince laughed so heartily that he burst a button from his +collar. + +"An amusing story, by my word!" he exclaimed. "I would not have missed +it for a riding-horse! Ha, ha--to decide that a vision really happened +because the dreamer wrote an account of it--ha, ha, ha!" + +"And did everything really happen as you related it?" inquired the +chair. + +Everything--I give my word of honor--what am I saying? Not by my +honor, but by the rope around my neck, I swear that everything +happened just as I told you. You may apply to the authorities of +Nimeguen, who will substantiate my account. Because of its remarkable +character, the case is recorded in the chronicles of the city. This +will explain the deed I was forced to commit afterward. + +"We will hear you confess it tomorrow," said the prince. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE QUICKSANDS. + + +My case had been decided by the consistory. I was not the first man +who had had such an experience; and I was philosophical enough to +conclude that if other men had survived their disgrace, I might also. + +So, I made up my mind to forgive my wife, and live amicably with her. +I acted as if nothing had happened to mar the relations between us, +and all would have been well, had not my neighbors tormented me beyond +endurance. + +I became furious every time I went into the street. Everybody saluted +me as "your majesty." They would inquire how I was getting on with my +crowns--as if I had a dozen! One man would ask me if I had seen a +Maimuna lately; another would tell me he had seen a stork with a baby +in its bill fly through the air. I received scurrilous letters through +the post, and bands of singers would stop under my window and chant my +shameful history from beginning to end. In short, everything those +Nimeguen citizens could invent to annoy me was done. I boiled with +rage, for I was unable to defend myself. + +In any other community I could have defended myself from such +persecution. I should have challenged the first one who insulted me, +and run him through with my sword. That is an effective way to +silence scurrilous tongues. In Nimeguen, however, it would have been +impossible to find a second to deliver a challenge; and if I had sent +it by a messenger the challenged person would have hastened at once to +the burgomaster to complain that I had threatened to murder him. + +If I had tweaked the nose of a fellow for refusing to give me +satisfaction, he would have sued me; and I would have been sentenced +to pay three marks for a nose-tweak, and six for a slap on the mouth. +This would have resulted in my spending nearly all my time in the +burgomaster's office, because of the numerous summons to answer the +charge of assault and battery, and my wife would have been kept busy +paying the fines. + +At last, I could endure it no longer. I told my wife I should have to +go away, and she decided that we would go together to Vliessingen, +where she would drink the medicinal waters. + +I was glad enough to accompany her. I would have gone anywhere to be +rid of my tormenters. But I was mistaken in believing I should be rid +of them at Vliessingen. I received anonymous letters by every post; +but I paid no heed to them until one day I received the following: + +"What a stupid fellow you are! Your wife does not need a jinnee to +carry her where she wants to go. You are her Maimuna; and Vliessingen +is the Ararat whither Danesh has transported her lover. He has sent +her a red velvet cap trimmed with gold braid and white lace, and +every time she wears it, she signals to him that you will be away from +home that day. Oh, stupid dolt that you are!" + +This was more than enough. + +My wife had received just such a cap as was described in the letter; +and when she put it on, it always seemed to me that she looked +happier. + +I began to find fault with the cap. I begged her not to wear it, or at +least not to go out doors when she had it on. But she persisted in +wearing it, and ridiculed my anger, until I got to hate the sight of +the red cap. + +One day I was obliged to go to Antwerp on business. My wife insisted +on accompanying me part of the way, as I should have to walk a +considerable distance from the baths to take a conveyance. + +Something--my white dove mayhap--whispered in my ear not to let her go +with me; that it would be better for both of us if she remained at +home. + +But she had set her head on going, and nothing could prevent it. And +she put on the red cap! + +I remonstrated with her about wearing it, but she laughed at me and +said: + +"You silly fellow! Of whom are you jealous, here in this sandy desert? +Of the gulls, perhaps?--or the moles?" + +Are the honorable gentlemen of the court familiar with that region? +No? + +Then it will be necessary to describe it, in order that what I relate +may appear clear to you. + +The entire country thereabout is an arid waste, a seemingly +illimitable stretch of sand dunes, and brackish pools, partly grown +with brown reeds, broom and heath, but so stunted that the horns of +the cattle grazing there are plainly seen. The herders are obliged to +wear long stilts. This uninhabited territory is separated by a dike +several feet in height from the downs, which is a fearful region. + +There, earth and water are combined against man and beast; the two +life-dispensing elements have become agents of death. The sand blown +from the shore of the sea settles on the deep pools and dries. No +plants grow there, and woe to the man or beast that strays on to the +downs from the dike, or the heath beyond. The sand will sink beneath +the feet of the incautious wanderer; if he draws up one foot, the +other will sink yet deeper. At first, the instability of the earth +amuses him; he fancies that, when he shall tire of the amusement, it +will be easy enough to leave the place. + +But the sand into which he is slowly but surely sinking is bottomless. +Inch by inch the unfortunate victim is swallowed--as is the dove in +the jaws of the serpent. Not until he has sunk to his waist, does +despair seize him, and he realizes that escape is impossible. Every +effort to extricate himself is futile--he only sinks the deeper into +the treacherous sand. + +In vain he shouts for help. No help will come to him, for, he that +hears despairing cries from the downs, will flee in the opposite +direction to get beyond reach of the sound, knowing well that were he +to attempt to rescue the sinking wretch he too would be engulfed in +the quicksand. + +When the victim's head has vanished beneath the surface, only a +funnel-shaped depression marks the spot where a living creature has +met death, and this sign will be obliterated by the first wind that +blows across the sands. + +As I have mentioned before, a dike, with a road along its summit, +divides the treacherous quicksands and the grazing cattle. + +It was along this dike-road that my wife and I walked arm in arm the +morning I started for Antwerp. + +"You see, my love," I said to her, "how happy we are together when +there is no one to disturb us. I should want for nothing else on earth +if you would but promise not to wear that red cap again." + +"And I," she returned, "need only to wear this red cap in order to +make me perfectly contented and happy." + +"Very well, then wear it--wear three red caps, one over the other, +only don't wear this one while I am away from you." + +"Well--I won't wear it while you are away." + +"Swear that you won't?" + +"No, I will not swear not to wear it, for if I should forget my oath, +and put the cap on, then I should perjure myself--and no cap is worth +that!" + +"Then the cap is dearer to you than I am?" I asked. + +"Do you hate the cap so much that you hate me because I wear it?" she +inquired in turn. + +"I have just cause to hate this cap, and I don't want to hate you for +the same reason. Promise not to wear it while I am away." + +"No, I will not promise--you must not be so quarrelsome." + +"I will show you why you ought not wear it. Here, read this letter I +received from Nimeguen." + +I took the letter from my pocket, and gave it to her. Her face took on +the hue of her cap as she read, and when she had finished, she stamped +her foot, tore the letter into bits and flung them over the downs, +exclaiming: + +"Now, I shall wear the cap for spite." + +"No, you shall not wear it," I cried, beside myself with rage. + +I tore the cap from her head and flung it after the letter. What +followed, the honorable gentlemen of the court will be able to +conjecture after I have described my wife's figure and disposition. + +In Holland, as well as in some other portions of the globe, married +people occasionally disagree; but I believe that only in Holland is it +the husband who goes to a justice of the peace with a blackened eye to +substantiate a complaint against his wife. + +My spouse was no exception to her fellow-countrywomen. Taller by half +a head than I, broad-shouldered and with a powerful chest, she could +hold at arm's length a small child seated on her hand--and it was a +hand, too, that would render superfluous a _visam repertum_, if it +came in contact with a human face! + +And from this amazon I had dared to snatch a favorite cap, and toss it +on the quicksands. As I flung the cap away, the woman threw herself +against me like an enraged elephant, and sent me staggering backward +to the edge of the embankment, where I turned a somersault down into +one of the bitter, natron-impregnated pools on the heath, in which not +even a leech can exist. + +I had fallen with my head in the water; it sank to the chin in the +slimy mud at the bottom, and had it not been for my presence of mind, +I should have drowned; for the most expert swimmer will forget his +skill if he finds his eyes, nose, mouth and ears filled with mire--and +mire, too, that burns and stings like nettles. + +I managed with great difficulty to wriggle out of the pool, but I +could see neither sky nor earth for several minutes. It took +considerable time to cleanse the mire from my mouth, nose, eyes and +ears; and it was hours before I could hear again. + +I felt like one resuscitated from drowning; my entire body burned as +if I were covered from crown to sole with a vesicatory. Then I began +to think of what might have happened while I was sitting on the heath +ridding myself of the mire. + +I could not see my wife anywhere on the embankment. What had become of +her? + +I was compelled to wade through the pools a considerable distance, in +order to get back to the dike-road, for the embankment where I had +fallen over was too steep to be climbed. + +Therefore, a half hour or more passed before I stood again on the +dike-road looking about for my wife. She was nowhere in sight on the +road. Then I turned toward the sands, and what I saw there caused the +blood to curdle in my veins--the foolish woman had gone after her cap! + +She had it on her head, which, with her two arms, was all that was +visible of her body above the sands. It was a horrible sight. Her +staring eyes were fixed on me in accusation, her hands battled vainly +with the empty air, her lips were open, but no sound issued forth. She +was still alive, but entombed. + +I thought of nothing but saving her. I sprang down the embankment, but +when the sinking woman saw me coming toward her, she began to beat the +sand furiously with her hands, as if she were trying to prevent my +approach. I could not have saved her. I had made but fifty steps +toward her when I too began to sink. Recognizing the futility of +further effort on my part, I flung myself face down on the sand, that +my entire weight might not rest on my feet, and thus I managed to +propel my body slowly, painfully, toward the stable earth. + +[Illustration: "Thus I managed to propel my body slowly, painfully +toward the stable earth"] + +A seemingly endless time elapsed before I reached the foot of the +embankment, and all the while there was a sound in my ears as of waves +dashing against rocks, each wave crying hoarsely: "Curse you!" "Curse +you!" + +When at last, dripping with ice-cold perspiration and quivering with +horror, I reached the top of the dike, I could see only the red +velvet cap on the sands; and as I looked, a sudden gust of wind +sweeping up from the sea, seized it and bore it toward me. + +Overcome by terror I turned and fled like a madman down the road. All +day long I continued my flight over pathless wastes; through withered +copses, which had been destroyed by frequent inundations; across +marshes filled with croaking frogs, and nesting storm-petrels; the +lurking place of weasels and others, and from every corner I heard +voices calling after me: "Murder!" "Murder!" The frogs croaked it from +the water, the birds piped it from the air. The withered trees moaned +it, and stretched their branches threateningly toward me; and the +briars trailing along the ground caught at my feet and cried: "Stop, +stop! let me bind you, murderer!" + +All things animate and inanimate joined in accusing me; and at last a +wall rose before me to hinder further flight. + +It was only a broken dike; but to me it seemed a prison. Foot-sore and +weary, I lay down amid the stones fallen from the wall. They were +covered with thick moss, and it was a relief to stretch my tired limbs +among them. + +I began to collect my scattered senses, to think calmly over what had +happened, and after awhile I began to excuse myself to the frogs and +the petrels, the moles and the sparse-branched withered trees that +stood around me staring at me as if they would say: + +"Come, murderer, decide which of us will best suit you." + +I defended myself: "I am not a murderer; I am not going to hang +myself. I did not lay a finger on the woman--it was she who thrust me +over the dike into a pool where I nearly drowned. She was foolish +enough to go where certain death awaited her--she alone is to blame!" + +"But, why did you throw her cap on the sands?" questioned the frogs, +the storm-birds, and the moles. "Had not I a right to do it? Hadn't I +a right to prevent her from wearing the cap which disgraced her and +me? Had not she brought dishonor on me once before? Was I to permit it +a second time? By throwing the cap away I was only defending my honor +and her virtue. I did not kill her--she alone is to blame for her +death!" + +"Ha, ha, ha!" sneered every animate creature. "Ha, ha, ha!" scoffed +the breeze sweeping over the moor. No one--nothing in the wide world +took sides with me. The elements were against me; every human being on +the globe--large, small, white, black, olive-hued--all were against +me. Cities, towns, villages; houses palaces, huts--all were my +enemies; I must flee from every human habitation. + +And yet, I am not guilty. All the world will say that I am. My wife +will be missed; she was seen going away in my company; her cap will be +found beside the dike. It will be said that I murdered her, and thrust +her body into the quicksands. + +I am not my wife's murderer. Did no one see her thrust me over the +dike? Will no one testify for me? + +A fluttering wing brushed my cheek: + +"Ah, my white dove! Are you there? You will speak for me. You will +tell all the world that I am innocent--that I did not murder my wife?" + +Filled with hope and joy, I turned my eyes toward my shoulder. The +white dove was not perched there, but a coal black raven, and he +croaked: + +"Thou didst it!" + +"At last," exclaimed the mayor as he shook the ink from the pen with +which he had authenticated the protocol. "At last we have a confession +that cannot be rendered invalid by a pharasaical _referrata mentalis_! +At last the executioner will get something to do! _Uxoricidium +aequale_: quartering, _praecedente_: the right hand to be severed from +the wrist." + +"I don't agree with your honor," interposed the prince. "There is a +law that was promulgated by _Sanctus Ladislaus rex_--he was a +Hungarian king, to be sure, but he is a saint for all that; and +because he was canonized his law is held sacred by all christendom; it +reads something like this: 'If a man finds his wife guilty of +infidelity, and takes her life, he is answerable to God alone for the +deed--'" + +"Of course!" angrily exclaimed the chair, "I'll warrant the knave +never dreamed that _Sanctus Ladislaus rex_ would drag him by the hair +of his head out of limbo!--Let it be added to the rest of the miracles +performed by Saint Ladislas!" + + + + +PART XI. + +IN SATAN'S REALM. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE SATYRS. + + +Not until the shadows of night had settled around me did I learn into +what an accursed region I had strayed. It was the notorious +"_kempenei_"--the rendezvous of witches and all evil spirits. + +When it became quite dark, the jack-o'-lanterns began to flit over the +moor--as if the witches were dancing a minuet; and suddenly I heard a +tumult of shrieks and yells, and looking upward I beheld the most +repulsive lot of females it has ever been the lot of man to see. + +They had hairy chins; and huge warts on their noses. They came rushing +through the air, seated on the shoulders of pallid-faced male forms. +Each hag hung her mount by the bridle around his neck to a limb of one +of the dead trees, and clapped her heels three times together before +she descended to the ground. Then the witches held a council, and each +one detailed the evil she had perpetrated the past twenty-four hours. +I heard one say boastfully: + +"I sent an angry woman running after her cap, which her husband had +thrown on the quicksands, and I let her sink to her death. The man +escaped--" + +Here her sister-witches fell on her and beat her with switches, +because she had allowed a man to escape from her. + +"Let me alone! Let me alone!" she shrieked. "I'll find him yet--he +won't get away from me a second time!" + +Terror seized me anew. I shuddered, and pressed as closely as possible +into my mossy bed. + +Then the hags began to arrange their plans for the next day. They +would send the "Bocksritter" to attack a caravan that was coming to +Antwerp. + +I had heard a good deal about the Bocksritter, a mounted band of +ferocious robbers, who looked like satyrs, and were in league with +Satan. They were even more to be dreaded than the Haidemaken. When the +satyrs committed an extensive robbery, they took good care not to let +a single one of their victims escape alive--not even the infant in its +cradle. They left no one to witness against them; and, as they fled at +once to another country, it was impossible to learn anything about +them. Where they committed their depredations and the officers of the +law failed to find trace of them, it was concluded, and naturally, +that the Bocksritter were a myth, and the story of their depredations +an idle fable. + +When the witches had decided their plans for the next day, the most +hideous of the hideous crew began to peer about her, and sniff the +air. + +"I smell something!" she exclaimed; "something that doesn't belong +here." + +"It smells like a human being," said a second, also sniffing around +her. + +"Ha, if only it were the fellow who escaped me this morning!" with a +snort exclaimed a third. "It wouldn't take me long to prepare him for +a bridle"--she glanced as she concluded toward the pallid creatures +hanging on the trees. + +I pressed still further into the moss and ferns; but the raven on my +shoulder began to flutter his wings, as if to attract the witches' +attention. + +"Some one is hiding over yonder!" they cried as with one voice. "Come +on, sisters, let's tickle him!" + +I heard them approach my hiding place, and in my despair I cried out: + +"If God be with me, who can be against me!" + +Hardly had the words left my lips when I received a blow on the ear +from the raven's wing that made it tingle, but the witches had +scattered in all directions, uttering frightful yells. When I lifted +my head to look after them, the wind sweeping over the moor was +driving before it the glimmering jack-o'-lanterns, which looked like a +fleeing troop of torch-bearing soldiers. + +Just then the moon rose above the horizon. It was in the last quarter, +by which I knew it must be an hour after midnight. + +I rose quickly, and prepared to set about performing the good deed I +had determined on; I would hasten to meet the caravan travelling to +Antwerp, and tell the leaders of the danger which threatened them from +the Bocksritter. + +I cast from me every fear that prompted me to avoid my +fellow-creatures, and rejoiced that it was in my power to serve them a +good turn. + +Only after I had proceeded a considerable distance on my errand of +mercy did it occur to me that I was unarmed, that I had nothing to +defend myself from the wolves which infest that region, but a knife +which I carried in a sheath at my side. + +On my way, I came upon a slender yew tree--a straight beautiful stem, +and hard as iron. I cut it down with my knife, and soon had a cudgel +that would serve me well in an emergency. I could brain any wolf that +might take a fancy to satisfy his appetite with my carcass. + +I found my own hunger growing wolfish toward dawn, and when I came to +the highway I looked about for an inn. I saw smoke rising from a +chimney not far distant, and made my way toward the house, which +proved to be one of entertainment for man and beast. + +The inn-keeper, from whom I ordered some bread and cheese, was busy +preparing in a large kettle a savory stew of meat and cabbage. I asked +him to give me a dish of it, but he said he could not let me have any, +as it was for a crowd of people who were coming with a large caravan +that morning. + +It was true then! I had really seen and heard the witches on the moor. +It was not a dream. + +I had not long to wait. A tinkling of bells announced the approach of +the caravan while I was eating my breakfast. + +There were vans and vehicles of all sorts, and all manner of traders; +lace merchants, carpet dealers, weavers, goldsmiths, on their way to +the fair at Antwerp. They had an escort of soldiers, with red and +yellow jackets, and armed with muskets and halberds; also several +dragoons with buff waistcoats. + +Even the traders were armed with pistols and carbines. All were in +high good humor when they entered the inn. The leader of the caravan, +a pot-bellied thread dealer, ordered everything that was to be had +from kitchen and cellar, and produced from his knapsack a large ham +which he shared with some of his companions. Toward the close of the +meal, he noticed me, and kindly offered me the gnawed ham-bone. + +"Thank you," said I. "In return for this bare bone I will do you a +kindness: Take my advice, and don't go any further today; or, if you +cannot delay until tomorrow, send a strongly armed troop in advance of +your caravan, and let one guard it in the rear, for you are in danger +of an attack from the Bocksritter, who will leave your bones as bare +as you have left this one you offer me!" + +Then I repeated to the entire company what I had heard the witches +say. But, a curse rested on me! No one believed me; they laughed at +me, ridiculed my "witch-story," said I had dreamed it; and the +inn-keeper threatened to cast me out of his house for trying to bring +disrepute on it. + +He averred that robbers were unknown in that neighborhood--there were +no such disreputable characters anywhere but in Brabant and Spain, +where they lurked in subterranean caverns like the marmots. Moreover, +who was afraid of robbers? Not he! + +The caravan's valiant escort were delighted with the prospect of a +skirmish with the notorious Bocksritter--let them begin their attack! +Everyone of the rascals would soon find himself spitted on an honest +bayonet! There was so much boasting about the escort's prowess that at +last I concluded the safest way for me to get to Antwerp would be to +join the caravan; which I did. + +All went well with us until late in the afternoon, when, as we were +passing through a pine forest, the robbers suddenly fell upon us. + +They appeared so suddenly that one might almost believe they sprang +from the earth. They were masked; their clothing was of black buffalo +skin, laced with crimson cord. A black cock's feather adorned every +hat. + +The first salvo from their muskets laid low at least half of our +company; then the villains fell on us with their swords and began a +frightful butchery. The leader of the caravan tumbled from his steed +before he received an injury, and had I not been in such haste to save +my skin, I should have stopped to say to him: + +"Why don't you laugh at me now, Mynheer Potbelly?" + +But it was no time for jesting. I ran swiftly toward the road, on the +further side of which was a dense growth of young firs, and beyond +them a stretch of undulating moorland, where, I imagined, I might +effect my escape. The long yew staff I carried served me well; by its +aid I could jump from hillock to hillock, and thus make swifter +progress than had I been on horseback. + +"Let him run!" cried the robber captain, who was distinguished from +the rest by the crimson ostrich plume on his hat. "Let him go; we will +after him when we have finished here. He won't go very far." + +I soon found he was right. I had not gone more than a hundred paces, +when I came to a mound from which there was neither retreat, nor +advance. It was made up of pebbles, sand and the gravelly soil of the +highway, from which a narrow path led to the mound. On all sides were +deep ditches filled with stagnant water, rank vines and noxious weeds; +so that no one could cross them without risk to life or limb. + +I was caught! + +Out on the highway, my companions of the caravan were being +exterminated to a man. None were allowed to escape. + +When the work of carnage was completed there, the butchers turned +their attention to me. + +I was alone, and defenseless on my islet. The demons came toward me, +laughing brutally, and in my despair I laughed too. + +I said to myself: "I too will have some fun before I die!" + +I loosed the leather belt from my waist, and made a sling of it. +Pebbles lay at my feet in plenty for my David's battle with Goliath. + +The robbers soon found they had to do with a skilled bombardier; my +shots struck them and their horses with a force and regularity that +began to tell on their ranks. Many were thrown from their saddles with +skulls and ribs crushed. + +The fun was not all on their side. Finding at last that I was not to +be taken alive, they concluded to use me as a target for their +muskets. One of them dismounted, lifted the musket from his shoulder, +thrust the bayonet into the ground, and rested the gun on it. After he +had arranged the priming in the pan, he called to me: + +"Surrender, fellow, or I'll shoot you!" + +"Try it," I called back, whirling the sling around my head. "Afterward +I'll have a shot at you." + +"Do you throw first," he called again. + +"No, thank you--you are the challenger; do you shoot first." + +He fired, and missed me. + +Then I hurled my stone; it struck him on the jaw, and broke off his +teeth. + +Then a second, and a third, had a try at me without effect, but +everyone of my shots inflicted serious injury. + +I was not an expert gunner for nothing; I knew that when one is the +target for a gunshot, one has but to watch closely when the match is +applied to the priming; if two flashes are seen, then the aim will be +faulty, the ball will fly wide of the mark, and it will not be +necessary to dodge. If but one flash is seen, then it will be well to +step to one side. + +I had the advantage of the robbers; for, while they were preparing +their muskets to fire, I could hurl five or six stones, and not one of +them missed its mark. I hoped that one of the bullets whistling past +my ears might hit the raven on my shoulders; but he was too shrewd a +bird; he rose in the air, and I could hear the fluttering of his wings +above my head. + +At last the robbers were obliged to acknowledge that I had the better +of them. Only one of them at a time could approach my islet over the +narrow path; or wade up to his horse's neck through the weed-entangled +morass, and that one would fall an easy prey to my sling. + +"Stop!" now cried the wearer of the crimson plume. "This valiant +fellow's life must be spared. He will be a valuable addition to our +band. Let no one molest him--I will talk with him myself," saying +which, he got off his horse, and came toward me unarmed. "Have no +fear," he called to me. "You are a brave lad, and just the sort we +need. We kill only cowards. If you will join us you shall not rue it." + +What could I do? I was a fugitive, excluded from all honest and +respectable society. I knew not where to turn. If I refused to join +the robbers, I should have to flee from country to country; I might as +well fly in company with others. The desire for revenge also prompted +me to accept the leader's offer. I would punish the people who had +ridiculed me, and condemned me because of a dream. + +"Who are you?" I asked. "Are you Satan? I will not enter into a league +with him." + +"No, I am not Satan; I am the leader of the Bocksritter. If you will +join us, you shall be corporal, and in time you may become the +leader." + +"Thank you," said I, "but I think I should prefer to remain simply a +private. I have heard that the man who leagues himself with the +'satyrs,' binds his body to pain and death; and that he who becomes +their leader must bond his soul to the devil--and that I will never +do." + +"Very well," he growled in response; "I regret to hear so brave a lad +decide thus. Then bind yourself only to pain and death." + +Our compact was sealed, and I was given the horse and outfit of one of +the robbers I had killed in defending myself, and when the black mask +had been adjusted over my face, I felt that I had ceased to belong to +this world. I had no name--was nobody. I was a satyr, a foe to +society. Whatever I might do thenceforth, whatever crime I might +commit, no one would hear of it. The mask did not speak! The +Bocksritter committed their horrible deeds of pillage and murder in +the Netherlands; in Wurtemberg; along the Rhine; in Alsace and +Lorraine. In which of them, or in how many, I took part--who can say? +The mask does not speak! + +Where we roved, what we did, who can say? Not I. Whether the satyrs +robbed churches, whether they destroyed caravans, burned cities, +desecrated convents and routed their inmates, plundered mines, +devastated estates--who can say? + +Whether I assisted at all the crimes they committed, or at only +one--or whether I took part in none--who can say? + +Was I the satyr that flung back into his burning house the usurious +Jew who had escaped from it? or was I the one that rescued a babe from +the flames and bore it on his saddle to the mother's arms? + +Was I the satyr who placed the mine under the convent and exploded it? +or was I the one who warned the nuns in time for them to escape--who +can say? The mask does not speak. + +"Well," observed the prince, "if you don't know; and the mask won't +tell, then this entire chapter of your confession must be eliminated +from the index." + +Then he added further, in order to propitiate the chair: "Why, don't +you see, that the prisoner did not become a satyr of his own free +will? That he was forced to join the band under pain of death? If, +while he was with the robbers, he committed good deeds, or evil, +who--as he says himself--can say?" + +"Aye, who indeed?" satirically responded the chair. "The mystery of +the whole affair is so clear that no one will be able to say whether +this valiant and pious Christian ought to be hanged, or this +conscienceless reprobate ought to be canonized!" + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +WITCH-SABBATH. + + +The satyrs did not ask my name when I joined their band; but bestowed +one on me with the mask. They did not select their names from the +calendar, but chose the appellations of distinguished satanic +personages--as, for instance, there was a Belial; a Semiazaz; a +Lucifer; Mephistopholes; Belzebub; Azazel; Samiel; Dromo; Asmodens, +Dopziher, Flibbertigibbet, and so on. + +The leader was Astaroth; me they called Belphegor, and my +"blood-comrade" Behoric. + +The way a blood-comradeship was formed was this: The two men slashed +their right arms, and each drank of the blood gushing from the arm of +the other. This was an alliance of the first degree. A second +comradeship was formed by two men pricking their names into each +other's arms. Both ceremonies were performed only on witch-sabbath. + +Great privileges were associated with blood-comradeship. The comrades +shared everything; they belonged to each other. Mine is thine, and +thine mine. + +If one of them said: I want this, or that; the other had to give it to +him. + +Whatever one commanded the other had to obey; and if one comrade +wanted to exchange bodies with the other, the latter was obliged to +consent and-- + +"But that is impossible," here interrupted the prince. + +"No it isn't," spoke up the chair with like decision, "Johann Magus +proves conclusively that such exchanges have been known to take +place." + +"Well, if it is possible," returned his highness, "I should like, if +your honor and I were 'blood-comrades,' to see how we would manage +such an exchange! There's room enough in my hide for three like you; +but how I could get into yours puzzles me!" + +The prisoner proceeded to explain how it might be accomplished: + +The entire body undergoes a change; the larger becomes smaller, and +_vice versa_; so that an exchange is easily effected. It needs only +the consent of both parties. All sorts of complications may arise from +such an exchange, though. Suppose I were a bridegroom, and my +blood-comrade should suggest an exchange of bodies; or, if I were on +my way to the gallows, and I should ask to exchange? + +One day the leader of the band said to me: + +"Belphegor, you must marry. You will not be a genuine satyr until you +are mated with a female member of our band." + +"But where are the ladies? I have not yet seen any of them," I asked. + +"I have a bride ready for you, my youngest sister Lilith. You shall +see her very soon." + +I knew that a Lilith had tempted Father Adam to be untrue to Mother +Eve; if she and the captain's sister were one and the same, then she +must be considerably older than I. So I said: + +"Does she wear a mask?" + +"Certainly." + +"Then I'll marry her!" + +And so it was settled that I should become the leader's +brother-in-law. + +In a subterranean cavern in the Black Forest our wedding was +celebrated. The entire company of satyrs were assembled to witness the +ceremony, and when the numerous torches were lighted, the cavern +looked like an immensely large church with this difference: everything +was inverted. The images of the saints stood on their heads; even the +crucifix in the chancel was upside down. The organ's base was against +the ceiling; the winged cherubs hovered overhead feet upward; the +bells swung with the clappers standing upright, and the choir chanted +the psalm backward. The priest who performed the ceremony had the most +peculiar legs; one was at least a foot shorter than the other; and +when an acolyte removed the mitre, the father's head came off with it. +Asafoetida instead of incense was burned in the censer. + +My bride, whom I saw now for the first time, was robed in garments far +more costly and magnificent than any I had ever seen on my regal wife, +Sumro Begum. The fine clothes and gew-gaws concealed the contours of +her form, and a heavy gold-embroidered veil completely hid her face. +The priest made us repeat the marriage service backward; and when he +bade us inscribe our names in the register I took good care to look +closely at my wife's hands. They were encased in gloves, but I could +see that the finger nails were long and sharp--which did not augur +favorably for me should there arise any domestic differences between +us. + +Her voice was youthful enough; she did not pronounce P like M, from +which I concluded that she still had teeth. + +We left the church to the music of the organ. I led my bride on my arm +to the wagon waiting for us at the entrance to the cavern. It was a +large, heavy vehicle, roomy enough for a dozen persons, and harnessed +to it were six stag-beetles. + +"How in the devil's name are these beetles going to drag such a heavy +vehicle?" I cried angrily. "Six horses couldn't move it." + +"No, of course they couldn't!" assented my wife. "The axles need +greasing. Here, rub some of this ointment on them." + +I obeyed, and greased the axles with the contents of an agate box +Lilith held in her hand. The entire wedding company now sprang on the +wagon, leaving only the driver's seat for me and my bride. Lilith took +the reins; the six beetles spread their wings, and off we went--the +heavy wagon with its heavier load flying as swiftly and lightly +through the air as thistle-down before a gale. + +I thought it an excellent chance to get a sight of my bride's face +while both her hands were occupied with the reins, and quickly flung +back her veil. + +Horror! the blood froze in my veins. They were the repulsive features +of the witch I had heard boast on the _kempenei_, that she would catch +me yet, and prepare me for the bridle. + +Beyond a doubt she was Father Adam's temptress, for there were +wrinkles enough on her hideous face to represent the many centuries +which had passed since her little affair with the first man; while, +for the development of such a moustache from the delicate peach-down, +which makes a woman's lips so kissable, would require many a cycle of +time! + +"I will jump from the wagon!" I cried in terror. + +"Better put your arms around me to keep from falling out!" laughed my +terrible bride, and then I noticed for the first time that we were at +least five hundred feet above the earth. + +To force me to adopt her suggestion, Lilith guided the beetles toward +the spire of the Cologne Cathedral, against which we struck with such +violence that to save myself from tumbling from my seat I had to fling +my arm around Lilith's waist, at which the entire company laughed +uproariously. + +At last, to my great relief, we descended to the earth, and alighted +in a lonely forest, at another of the witches' meeting places, where +we were greeted by a weird company that assembled from all quarters of +the globe. They came through the air, riding on brooms, on chairs, on +benches-- + +"I don't believe a single word of the ridiculous story!" here +emphatically exclaimed the prince. + +"I do," with equal emphasis affirmed the chair. "Johannes de Kembach +has described witches' journeys in almost the same language; and the +learned Majolus testifies to the flying wagon, which a servant in +mistake greased with witch ointment instead of axle grease. Moreover, +a similar tale is related by Torquemada, in his Hexameron--a +recognized authority on such matters." + +The prisoner continued his confession: + +The witches, as I said, came through the air accompanied by their +gallants; the demons rose, with their attendants, from the ground. +Among the latter were several of the celebrities from whom the satyrs +had borrowed the name they bore. + +Semiazaz is the jester of the demon-crew, also the musician; and when +he plays, all the rest have to dance. His nose is a clarionet; he +plays it with his ears instead of his fingers with which he thrums on +the skeleton ribs of a cow, as on a harp; and he beats the drum with +his tail. + +Behoric, my blood-comrade's god-father, is a huge fellow with an +elephant's trunk, with which he signs his name. That is why N. P. +(_nasu propria_) instead of M. P. (_manu propria_) is always appended +to this demon's signature. Behoric is also an elegant cavalier. He +wears his tail jauntily over one shoulder, and fans himself, when he +gets too warm, with the brush at the tip. + +All of the demons, with a single exception, had wings like a bat. My +namesake alone differed in this respect from his fellows. His wings +were formed from the quills which have been used on earth to sign and +write documents worthy of the infernal regions. + +There was the quill used by Pilate to sign the accusation against +Jesus Christ, and the release of Barabbas; the quill with which +Aretino indited his sonnets; the quill used by Queen Elizabeth to sign +Mary Stuart's death sentence; the quill with which Catharine de Medici +ordered the horrors of St. Bartholomew's night; the quill with which +Pope Leo X. wrote indulgences for money; the quill with which Pope +Innocent wrote the words: "_Sint ut sunt aut non sint_;" the quill +with which a distinguished Archbishop wrote his ambiguous answer: +"_Reginam occidere nolite timere bonum est_;" the quill that wrote at +Shylock's order the contract for a pound of human flesh; the quill +used by the mortal foe of the Foscari to write in his book "_La +Pagata_;" the quill with which King Philip signed the death warrant of +his son; the quill with which Tetzel scrawled his pamphlet attacking +Luther--and all the rest of the quills which have been used for such +like infamous deeds, were to be found in Belphegor's wings. + +They were gigantic wings, too, much longer than those of roc; and +whenever Behoric needed a pen he would pluck from them the quill which +best suited the document he wanted to sign. After all the demons and +witches were assembled they began to plan evil deeds; and my bride +being the heroine of the hour, she had the right to offer the first +suggestion: + +"There is an inn near the '_kempenei_,'" she began, "whose owner is in +league with the commandant of Bilsen to counterfeit money, and waylay +travellers. The counterfeit money is started into circulation by the +inn-keeper, who gives it to the caravans which stop at his house for +refreshment, in exchange for the genuine money they leave with him. +This publican has become repentant, and wants to atone for his +misdeeds. He confessed his criminal practices in a letter to the +governor, and told where the commandant fabricated the false coin. +This letter I managed to have conveyed to the commandant instead of to +the governor, and tonight, the former with his troops is going to pay +a visit to the inn. What say you, friends: how many souls shall we +send to hell?" + +"All of them! All of them!" yelled the witches. "We will have some fun +this night! Ho, Lucifer! We await you!" + +A terrific noise and rumbling was heard, and the ground opened, as +when an earthquake cleaves the crust of the globe. From the abyss rose +his infernal majesty, the king of evil, before whom the entire company +knelt--or rather squatted on their heels-- + +"What was he like?" queried the prince. + +I cannot answer that question, your highness--and for a very good +reason, as will be learned further on. When Lucifer appeared all the +witches disrobed-- + +"Not to the buff?" again interrupted the prince. + +Yes, your highness, and further. They took off their skins, too; and +when their hideous, wrinkled, warty hides were stripped off, they +were the most beautiful and fascinating fairies. + +My Lilith was more transcendently lovely than any image of a goddess I +ever saw--she was perfect beauty idealized! Your highness will +understand now why I had no eyes for the prince of darkness. I had +lost command of my head--for one kiss from Lilith's ravishing lips I +would have bonded my soul to the devil. + +Behoric, the real demon, for whom my blood-comrade was called, now +took a black book from his knapsack, and bade his namesake step +forward to be stigmatized. This was accomplished as follows: Behoric +plucked a quill from Belphegor's wings, and with the nib made tiny +punctures in my comrade's arm, thus forming letters. After making a +puncture in the flesh he would make a dot with the bloody quill-point +on a page in the black book. When his task was finished, the name +"Behoric" gleamed in red letters on my comrade's arm; and in letters +of flame on the page in the black book. + +The demon then presented to his namesake a thaler, as christening +gift; after which, he turned to me, and said I should also receive a +thaler if I would allow him to register my name among those of the +chosen ones of hell. + +Not for a dozen thalers would I have consented; but, for one kiss from +my fascinating Lilith, I would have done anything asked of me. + +I extended my arm for the stigma; but my blood-comrade stepped up to +me and said: + +"Comrade, do you see this thaler which I got in exchange for my soul? +I want you to give me your bride for it." + +As I have told you, a blood-comrade dare not refuse the request made +by his fellow. I pocketed the thaler, placed Lilith's beautiful hand +in Behoric's palm, and saw them move away to join the dancers. + +Behoric and Belphegor now seized my collar, and importuned me to have +my name recorded in the black book; but, with the loss of my bride, +all desire to join the demon ranks vanished. + +In vain I made all sorts of excuses; they would not release me. At +last, I cried with simulated anger: "To the devil with you! Not a +single member of my family ever was known to sign a contract when +sober! I will eat and drink, then I'll talk business with you!" + +Hardly had the last word crossed my lips, when before me stood a table +loaded with delicious viands, and rare wines. The wedding guests +seated themselves around the table, and proceeded to enjoy the repast, +but to my extreme disappointment both wines and food were without +taste. There was no substance to the former, no savor to the latter. + +I began to quarrel with the demons: + +"I can't eat this food," I exclaimed irritably. "I can't eat meat +without salt." + +"Salt?" repeated one of them. "Where should we get salt? There is no +ocean in hell." + +"But,"--I persisted--"I must have some salt--and if you have to fetch +me Lot's wife--" + +"Don't scold so, little man," jestingly interrupted Lilith, pulling my +mustache. "Here--taste what is on my lips." + +"I don't want honey--I want salt," I yelled, pushing her away. +"_Donner und Blitz!_ Give me salt, or I'll skin Lucifer!" + +Now, a curse has the same effect on a demon that a prayer has on an +angel. + +The younger devils rushed with all speed possible to Lucifer's palace +to fetch the only salt-cellar in the infernal regions; it is for the +sole use of the king of evil. This salt-cellar is a large mussel-shell +and looks like a christening bowl; it is filled with salt collected +from the tears shed by penitent sinners who delayed their repentance +until it was too late. + +Two active little imps dragged the salt-cellar to my side. + +"Here's salt at last--God be praised!" I exclaimed in a loud voice. + +The next instant the table with its viands disappeared amid an +unearthly din, and rumbling as of thunder. The demons sank cursing +into the earth; the witches flew yelling into the air, and I fell +backward to the ground unconscious. + +When I came to my senses, I was lying in a peat bog one hundred and +twenty miles from the Black Forest, in which I had celebrated my +marriage the night before with the beautiful Lilith. + +"Either you are a madman, or you dreamed all this nonsense," in a +stern tone observed the prince, at the conclusion of Hugo's recital. +"I don't believe a single word of it." + +"Well," commented the chair with less emphasis; "one thing is clear: +Among the many lies the rascal has entertained us with for weeks, this +last tale is the only one to bear a semblance to the truth. Similar +occurrences are related by Majolus, and Ghirlandinus; also by the +world-renowned Boccaccio, whose statements no one would think of +doubting. I say that, for once, the accused has adhered strictly to +the truth." + +"Very good," decisively responded the prince. "Then, as he did not +sign the compact with Satan, he cannot be charged with _pactum +diabolicum implicitum_. Consequently, this indictment may also be +expunged from the record." + + + + +PART XII. + +THE BREAD OF SHAME. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE MAGIC THALER. + + +The most convincing proof that everything occurred as I related it, +said the prisoner, continuing his confession the next day, was the +thaler I found in my pocket, when I came to my senses in the peat bog +near the "_kempenei_"--the thaler my blood-comrade gave me in exchange +for Lilith. I remembered what I had heard the witches say about the +commandant's visit to the inn-keeper and though I had suffered +terribly because I had tried once to perform a good deed at his house, +I decided to warn him of the danger which threatened him that night. + +It was very late in the evening when I drew near the inn; but light +still gleamed from the windows, and sounds of merriment came from the +open door. + +The inn-keeper, who was celebrating his marriage with his fifth wife, +recognized me at once. He was not in the least rejoiced to see me +again; quite the contrary: + +"See!" he called to his friends inside the house, "this is the fellow +I told you about--the one who predicted what would happen to the +Antwerp caravan. Every word he said came true! He shall not come into +my house again. I dare say," he added, speaking to me from the +door-way, "I dare say you have another witch-story to tell? Don't you +dare to utter one word of your evil prophecies, you bird of evil +omen!" + +The entire company seized cudgels and chairs and threatened to brain +me if I opened my lips. + +"Just keep your temper, good people," I returned coolly, "I don't +intend to tell you what would be of great benefit to you--your +treatment of me is so unfriendly, I shall not say one word--I want +nothing from you but some bread and cheese, and a mug of beer: and a +bundle of straw in a corner where I may pass the night." + +"Have you money to pay for all this?" demanded the inn-keeper. + +"Certainly I have;" and I handed him my thaler. + +"Ho-ho, fellow, this is a counterfeit," he sneered, tossing the coin +to the ceiling and letting it fall on the stone table. + +The clear ringing sound was unmistakable--the thaler was genuine. +Angered by the insolence of the inn-keeper, I said in a tone, the +meaning of which he could not mistake: + +"Look here, beer-seller; I want you to understand that _I_ am not a +circulator of counterfeit money!" + +"What!" he roared in a fury; "do you dare to insinuate that _I_ +circulate counterfeit money? For your impudence I shall keep this +thaler, and have it tested in the city tomorrow; and that you may not +run away in the meantime, I shall pen you in my hen-coop." + +The entire company helped him to thrust me into the coop, which was so +small I could neither stand upright nor lie down in it. + +And there I crouched, hungry and thirsty as I had come from the +witch-wedding. + +Suddenly the early morning quiet was broken by a fanfare in front of +the inn. I heard horses' hoofs stamping the earth; loud shouts and +curses; and the clank of weapons--the commandant of Bilsen had arrived +with his troops. + +In a trice the doors were broken open; the startled wedding guests +could neither escape nor defend themselves. The soldiers cut down all +that came in their way: men, women, old and young. From my hen-coop I +witnessed the slaughter, which I cannot describe, for I grow faint +with horror if I but think of it. + +Not even a dog was left alive about the inn. When the work of butchery +was completed one of the soldiers took it into his head to peep into +the hen-coop. He saw me, broke the lock with his hatchet, and dragged +me out by the hair. + +"Don't kill me, comrade," I begged, "I am only a poor soldier like +yourself. The inn people took all my money, and penned me in the +coop--you can see for yourself that I am not one of them, but a +foot-sore wanderer." + +"Did they take all your money?" asked the trooper. + +"I had only a thaler; the inn-keeper said it was counterfeit, and kept +it." + +"Let's see if you're telling the truth," said the fellow, beginning to +search about my clothes. + +"Ha! What's this?" he exclaimed suddenly, holding up the thaler he had +found in one of my pockets. "I thought you were lying, you rascal," he +added, giving me a blow with his fist, and thrusting my thaler into +his pocket. + +At that moment another trooper approached, and said something to the +first, about not making 'way with me--that the French recruiting +officers would give ten thalers for such a sturdy chap. Then he too +inquired if I had any money. + +I swore I had none; but he was as incredulous as his comrade, and also +searched my pockets. In one of them he found the thaler which had +returned to my possession; and he too gave me a blow for telling him a +lie. + +Then came a third trooper with the same inquiry: "Have you money?" + +I had not yet got used to having the thaler return to me, so I said: + +"No, my friend, I haven't another penny"--and he didn't find anything +in my pockets; but when, at his command, I drew off my boots, the +thaler fell out of one of them. + +From this trooper also I received a vigorous blow for lying. When the +fourth, fifth, and sixth troopers followed with the same demand for +money, I replied: + +"Yes, friend, I think I have a thaler somewhere about my clothes--just +search me and maybe you'll find it." + +And every one of them found the thaler--once it was found tucked under +the collar of my coat; another time in the lining; a third time in my +neck-ruff. + +My fun came afterward, when the troopers discovered they were minus +the thaler they had taken from me. They accused one another of +stealing, which led to a scuffle and blows. + +I was sold for ten thalers to the Frenchmen, who, when they stripped +me to put me into uniform, also searched my clothes. They found +nothing; but when they were shearing my hair the thaler suddenly +dropped to the floor. + +The sergeant pounced on it, exclaiming: + +"A thaler profit, comrades!--we'll have a drink at once!" + +Beer was ordered from the inn, in which they were quartered; and while +they were drinking, the sergeant turned to me and said: + +"Are you thirsty lad? You are? Very well, then, go into the yard, lift +your face to the clouds, and open your mouth wide--it's raining +heavily! When you have quenched your thirst from the clouds, stand +guard at the gate." + +I had to obey, and stand guard; but I did not quench my thirst with +rain water. + +After a while I heard loud voices in the bar-room. The inn-keeper's +wife was accusing the soldiers of stealing the thaler given to her by +the sergeant for the beer. She said it had been taken from the drawer, +while she was attending to her work in the kitchen. + +"Which of you fellows stole the thaler?" angrily demanded the +sergeant. + +No one answered; whereupon the sergeant proceeded to flog the men, one +after the other, with a bunch of hazel-switches. But the thaler was +not found. + +Then the five soldiers seized the sergeant, and paid back what he had +loaned them; as each had received six blows, the number delivered to +him in payment amounted to thirty. + +"Fine discipline!" I said to myself. "Fine discipline, where the +sergeant flogs his men, and the men flog the sergeant in turn! It's a +fine service I've got into, I must say." + +I thrust my hands into the pockets of my wide trunk-hose, and what do +you suppose I found in one of them? The dangerous thaler! It had not +occurred to the Frenchmen to search me! + +"I don't see how such a thing could happen," in a puzzled tone, +observed the prince. + +"There is no mystery about it," returned the chair. "The coin was a +'breeding-thaler'--as it is called. A breeding-thaler will return to +the pocket of its owner, no matter how often he may spend it. If, +however, he bestows it as a gift on any one, it will not return to +him; but to the person to whom he has given it." + +"Ah, had I only known that sooner!" in a tone of deep regret, murmured +the delinquent. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +THE HUSBAND OF THE WIFE OF ANOTHER MAN. + + +The breeding-thaler was not of much use to me, for I was in a region +where there was nothing I cared to purchase. + +I was with the French camp in front of the city of Lille, where I had +been assigned to the artillery, because I had admitted that I knew +something about the management of cannon. + +It was a miserable existence: crouched day and night in the trenches; +or, on the lookout for the grenades, which were hurled into our camp +from the city we were besieging. + +But I could have endured all the hardships if I had had enough to eat. +The French general would not allow any vivandieres with spiritous +liquors to enter the battery; the gunners, he said, must remain sober; +and that they might not want to drink, they were given very little to +eat, as eating promotes thirst. If I sent a sapper with a jug to the +canteen for beer, he would invariably return with the empty jug, and +swear he had lost the thaler I had given him on the way--which was +true; for, no matter how often I tried it, the coin would be back in +my pocket before the messenger had been gone five minutes. The +consequence was I was in a continual state of hunger and thirst. + +The officers, on the contrary, had plenty to eat and drink. They were +always feasting and making merry in their tents. + +My captain had in camp with him a companion of the gentler sex, who +was not his wife, nor was she his sister, daughter, or mother--nor yet +his grand-mother. This lady would sometimes accompany him on his tours +of inspection, riding by his side, in a long silk habit, with a plumed +cap on her head. She was a beautiful creature. + +One day the general, who had got tired seeing so many women about, +gave orders that every one not having a legal husband among his troops +should leave the camp within twenty-four hours. That day my captain +came to me, and after making believe he was come on business about the +guns, said: "By the way, gunner, you look to me like a chap who was +used to something better than loading cannon and sleeping on the +ground--" + +"And gnawing dry bread," I ventured to append. + +He laughed, and said again: + +"I've half a mind to appoint you my adjutant--how would that suit +you?" + +"I shouldn't object." + +"Will you do me a small favor in return?" + +"Whatever I can, sir." + +"I should want you to keep a well-supplied table, and invite me to +dine and sup. I, of course, will pay all expenses." + +"That doesn't sound like a very hard task, sir," I replied. + +"It isn't--only there's a condition goes with it. In order to +entertain properly an officer of my rank, there will have to be a lady +to do the honors of the table." + +"But, where can I get the lady, sir?" + +"I'll find one for you--the lady you have seen riding with me. She has +long possessed my deepest respect." + +I scratched my head back of the right ear: + +"If you respect the lady so much, sir, why don't you marry her?" + +"Stupid fellow!--because I already have a wife." + +"Look here, sir," I said after a moment's deliberation, "I have eaten +all sorts of ammunition bread during my experience as a soldier; I +have cheated and stolen; but I have never occupied a position so low +as the one you want me to accept." + +"But, my lad, consider the advantages: Plenty to eat, and drink, and +nothing to do--that is one alternative; the other: in the trenches +night and day, bread and water! I will give you half an hour to think +it over; if you refuse I shall offer the position to some one +else--some one who is not so squeamish as you." + +That was a long half hour! + +I thought over what I had to lose if I accepted the position: Honor? I +had very little left; but, if I had squandered it I had done so with +my sword and musket, idled it away in a hundred ways--though never in +the despicable manner suggested to me by my captain. + +But I had been persecuted and cursed for trying to do good--what use +to try again? Besides, I hadn't anything to lose: I might as well eat +and drink away the little self-respect and honor I still possessed. + +At the end of the half hour, the captain came for my decision. I said: + +"I accept your offer, sir--here's my hand on it!" + +I held out my hand, and so did he; but, before they came together, +each of us drew back--each prompted by the same thought: "This +fellow's hand is more soiled than mine--I cannot take it!" + +But, I married the donna that afternoon, bestowing on her one of my +numerous names; and after the chaplain of the regiment had performed +the ceremony, this thought involuntarily suggested itself to me: +"Hugo, my lad, you are not the only one cheated in this business." + +From that hour it went well with my body--and luckily one's stomach +does not possess a conscience! In addition to a well-filled larder and +cellar, I had a title--I was called "adjutant." + +I saw my bride only at table; how frequently the captain visited my +quarters I cannot say. When he was obliged to absent himself on duty +connected with the campaign, he would always try to surprise her by an +unexpected return. + +One day she was more than surprised when her lover was brought back to +camp minus his head; he had had the misfortune to get within range of +a cannon shot from the enemy's lines. + +My situation now became anything but agreeable. I ceased to be an +adjutant, but I was still the husband of my wife--a role I found it +exceedingly difficult to continue. The woman had been accustomed to +every luxury; but, as money does not fall from the sky, I found great +difficulty in providing her with the bare necessities of life. One +after another of the costly ornaments she had received from the +captain were disposed of to supply her numerous demands, until all +were gone. Then she began to quarrel with me and accused me with +trying to starve her. + +I bethought me of the magic coin I had carried in my pocket all this +time, merely as a souvenir of the demon-assembly in the Black Forest. +I said to it: "Now, thaler, show what you can do!" and gave it to the +woman to buy what was necessary. + +I did not know then that if a breeding-thaler were given away it would +not return; and when I placed it in the woman's hand I believed, of +course, I should find it again in a few minutes in my pocket. + +But I never saw the thaler again! + +When, at the expiration of several hours, it did not return to me, I +consoled myself with thinking it must be in the woman's pocket. But it +had not returned to her--she had given it to an ensign who had been an +admirer of hers for a long time. So, the magic thaler was gone for +good, and I had nothing but the woman I had married to please my +captain--and he was dead! + +What was to be done? Should I run away from my wife, and my +flag?--become a two-fold deserter? I pondered over this question for +three days; for three long days I endured the taunts of my wife, and +the ridicule of my comrades, and on the third I fled-- + +"I should have run away the first day!" emphatically exclaimed the +prince, giving the table a thump with his fist. + +The mayor's eye twinkled as he added: + +"Consequently, desertion may also be stricken from the register!" + +(_Quod dixi dixi._) + + + + +PART XIII. + +THE EXCHANGE OF BODIES. + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +THE QUACK DOCTOR. + + +"Well, you godless reprobate," began the mayor, addressing the +prisoner, when the court was assembled the next day for a further +hearing of the remarkable case, "you have come to the last of your +crimes; you have illustrated how the seven mortal sins may be trebled, +and how the perpetrator may clear himself of the entire twenty-one, if +he possesses a fluent tongue. With your entertaining fables you have +understood how to extend the time of your trial five months and two +weeks, believing, no doubt, that the Frenchmen would in the meantime +seize the fortress and save you from the gallows. But that has not +come to pass. Only one more indictment remains on your list--Treason. +I don't believe you will be able to talk yourself out of that! But we +will now hear you make the attempt." + +The prisoner bowed and summoned to his aid the muse, by whose help he +had wrested from death one day after another, to assist him win yet +another twenty-four hours in God's beautiful world. + +As the honorable gentlemen of the court are aware, I entered into +service here, after I deserted from the French camp at Lille--and I +have tried to do my duty faithfully, as becomes a good soldier-- + +"I must say"--interrupted the prince with considerable stress--"you +were the best gunner in my artillery." + +After he had thanked his highness for the compliment, the prisoner +resumed: + +One day, while I was deeply absorbed in my technical studies, a quack +doctor was brought to my quarters. He had announced that he was my +messenger to the camp of the enemy, and that he had returned with some +important information for me. + +He was an imposter; I had not employed any one to perform such errands +for me. I ordered the fellow to be brought before me. He was of low, +but vigorous stature, with a crafty countenance, and cunning leer. He +had with him an entire apothecary's outfit: a chest filled with all +sorts of oils, extracts, unguents, and pills. + +The fellow laughed in my face and said in an impudent tone: + +"Well, comrade, don't you know me?". + +"No; I have never before seen your ugly phiz," I replied, a trifle +angrily. + +"Nor have I _seen_ yours; but I know you for all that--Belphegor." + +I was startled. "You are Behoric?" I exclaimed. I sent the orderly +from the room, then asked: + +"How did you manage to find me? You never saw me without a mask." + +"I will tell you: I have two magic rings; one I wear on the little +finger of my right hand; the other on the little finger of my left +hand, both with the setting turned inward. If I say to the rings: 'I +want to find my blood-comrade, Belphegor,' one of them turns around on +my finger and the setting shows me the way I must go. If I arrive at a +point where two roads meet, the other ring shows me which to take. +That is how I came here." + +The explanation did not altogether satisfy me--the fellow's face made +me doubt the truth of it; but I could not deny that I was his +blood-comrade. Besides, I entertained a sort of affection for him; we +had been good comrades, and had not drank each other's blood for +nothing. + +"Well," said I, after deliberating a moment, "what brings you +here?--here, where nothing is to be got but fiery bullets." + +"I came to ask you to exchange bodies." + +"Why do you wish to exchange?" + +"The leader has ordered it." + +"Do you still belong to the satyrs?" + +"Yes--and so do you. It is not a disease from which one can recover; +nor an office one may resign. It is not a garment one may cast aside; +nor a wife one may divorce. In a word, once a satyr, always a satyr." + +"I pledged only my body, not my soul," I interrupted. + +"And it isn't your soul I want, comrade; only your body. You may carry +your soul in my body, and go whithersoever it may please you to +wander." + +"But, what shall I do while in your body?" + +"You will do what I should do: sell theriac and arsenic; _lapis +nephriticus_, _nostra paracelsi_, apoponax, and salamander +ointment--for all of which you will receive good, hard coin from the +credulous fools who will be your customers. It is the easiest life in +the world!" + +"But I don't know the least thing about your medicaments, and couldn't +tell what any of them would heal or cure." + +"Oh, you need not trouble your head about that! Just take a look into +this chest. See--here in the different compartments are arranged +various bottles, vials and boxes, with the names of their contents +above them. These tiny letters under each one, which cannot be read +without the aid of a magnifying glass, are the names of the diseases +for which the contents of the bottles, vials, and boxes are infallible +remedies. When a patient applies to you, listen what he has to say; +then, diagnose the disease, consult your microscopic directions, and +dose him according to his ability to pay." + +"And how long will I have to wear your hideous form and let you occupy +my stately proportions?" I asked. + +"Until we both desire to exchange again. I will give you one of my +magic rings and I'll keep the other. If you turn the ring on your +finger at the same moment I turn mine, then the exchange will be +effected, no matter how far apart our bodies may be. Now, take this +ring, and summon your orderly. Bid him escort me to the gate, and give +me a glass of brandy before he lets me depart." + +I obeyed these directions and, after a few minutes, the burning in my +throat convinced me that I was in Behoric's squat body; that he +occupied my taller shell I found very shortly. + +Hardly had the exchange taken place, when a bombardier came to +announce that the second cannon in the third battery had burst, +whereupon Behoric in my body answered: + +"Boil some glue, and stick the pieces together; then wind some stout +twine around the cannon to prevent it from bursting again." + +At these directions the bombardier and the orderly exchanged glances +and snickered. + +"This won't do at all," I said to myself, so I whispered to my figure: +"Behoric, just change back again for a second, will you?" + +Each turned the ring on his finger, and I was again I. + +"Take the broken cannon to the arsenal," I said to the grinning +bombardier, "and put in its place one of the bronze pieces from +chamber number IV. Why do you laugh, idiot?" + +Then Behoric and I exchanged again, and I found myself trudging in his +body down the hill from the fortress, with the medicine chest on my +back. I was obliged to pass through the beleaguerer's camp, and, +naturally, was commanded to halt. When they spoke to me I could not +understand them--I, who am perfectly familiar with French, Latin, +English, Polish, Russian, Turkish, Indian, Dutch--I, with Behoric's +untutored ears, and with his inability to converse in any language but +the German, could not understand a word the Frenchmen said to me. The +colonel was obliged to send for an interpreter. + +"Have you been inside the fortress?" I was asked. + +"I have." + +"Did you deliver to the chief gunner what I sent with you?" + +"I did." + +"Will he do what I ask?" + +"He will." + +Here, to my great surprise--for I had done nothing to earn it--the +colonel pressed fifty thalers into my palm, and motioned me to pass on +my way. + +I wandered out into the world, trudged from city to city, selling the +contents of my chest, until I came to Madgeburg, where, having +accumulated a considerable sum of money, I bought a horse and wagon. I +could now travel about with greater convenience and speed than when +forced to carry the heavy medicine-chest on my back. I also hired an +assistant to blow a trumpet when I wanted to collect a crowd around my +wagon. + +I became so well satisfied with the pleasant life I now led, no +thought of changing back to my own body ever occurred to me. My +blood-comrade might keep it, and continue to fire cannon from +Ehrenbreitstein--I was quite content with my quack-doctoring, and with +his anatomy. + +And a wonderfully shrewd and sensible little anatomy it was! My own +did not contain a tenth part the sense that was in his. Therefore, I +considered it my duty to bestow the best of care on it. I fattened it +with the same attention to details I would have observed had it been +my own and I was amply able to supply it with everything that was +necessary to increase its bulk. + +I had all the money I wanted. The regular doctors became impoverished; +for, to me alone would the people apply for help--and I must say the +remedies I sold accomplished wonders. + +One day, however, a misfortune occurred to me. I was selling my +miracle-cures in the market place in Madgeburg as fast as I and my +assistant could hand them out, when some one--a wretch hired by the +envious doctors, no doubt--thrust a piece of burning sponge into the +ear of my horse. You may guess the result. + +The horse ran away, the wagon was upset, and my medicaments scattered +in all directions. + +My neck was not broken, but what happened was almost as bad. When I +came to replace the medicaments in the chest, I found that I could not +remember just where each bottle, vial, and box properly belonged. +However, I made a guess of it, and put them back where I thought they +ought to be. I made a good many mistakes, though, judging by some of +the very peculiar effects the remedies produced after the accident. + +The syndic, whose right leg was shorter than the left, sent for me to +remedy the defect. I was a little fuddled from having emptied a bottle +of good French wine just before I quitted my lodgings; and, instead of +rubbing the elongating ointment on the shorter limb, I applied it to +the longer one; the consequence of which was: the longer leg increased +to such a length that the worthy syndic, when he wanted to sit down, +had to perch himself on the buffet, and would bump his head against +the ceiling every step he took. He threatened to shoot me. + +A second mischance occurred when I was called to attend the president +of the Board of Trade. He had the gout in both feet and could not move +without crutches. I had a certain remedy for that fell disease, a +remedy so powerful that only a very small portion, about the size of a +pea, was required to embrocate an afflicted member. Thinking to hasten +the cure, I applied half the contents of a box to each foot, which +made the old gentleman so active and nimble, he was forced, for a +time, to take the position of runner for the Elector of Brandenburg, +because he could not keep his feet still; nor could he sit anywhere +but at a loom, where he might stamp his feet continually; and at +night, when he wanted to go to sleep he had to be bound to a +tread-mill. + +Two other wonderfully efficacious remedies were: a wash to force a +luxuriant crop of curling hair to grow on a bald head; the other, if +applied to toothless jaws, would cause new teeth to appear. + +The result of getting these two remedies misplaced was: the tooth-wash +was used on the bald head of a man; and the hair-restorative on the +toothless jaws of a woman. Instead of hair, two beautiful horns +appeared on the man's head; while the woman grew a mustache that would +have roused the envy of a drum-major. + +But these cases were nothing compared to what happened to the wife of +the chief justice. She was afflicted with severe paroxysms of +hiccoughing, and I was summoned to relieve her. There was in my chest +a remedy for such an attack; but, having been misplaced, I got hold of +the wrong box, and administered to the sufferer a dose of pills +intended to force obstinate hens to produce eggs. In less than six +weeks that unfortunate lady gave birth to seven living children-- + +"I don't believe it! I don't believe a single word of it!" interrupted +the prince, who had almost burst his belt with laughing. "You are +asking too much if you expect us to credit such outrageous fables." + +Here the chair remarked with great seriousness: "Beg pardon, your +highness: but there are authentic records of similar cases. In +Hungary, the wife of a Count Miczbanus gave birth at one time to +seven living sons, all of whom lived to grow up." + +"She certainly took some of the prisoner's hen pills," laughingly +responded his highness. + +The prisoner continued: + +Naturally mistakes of this sort roused the animosity of the patients; +but, none were so enraged as was the burgomaster. His case, indeed, +capped the climax! I had two miraculous cures: one would cause to +disappear from the human nose pimples, warts and all other disfiguring +excrescences; the other would transform silver into gold. + +The burgomaster possessed a large silver snuff-box and an exceedingly +prominent and highly-colored nose which was covered with unsightly +pimples. He sent for me in secret and bade me test the efficacy of the +two miracle-cures on his snuff-box and on his nose. + +Like some of the other remedies, these two had also changed places, in +consequence of which, the burgomaster's nose turned to gold, while the +snuff-box vanished as if from the face of the earth. + +This cure so amused the prince he could hardly gasp: + +"Enough--enough!--no more today! We will hear the rest tomorrow--I am +faint with laughing." + +The court adjourned until the following day, when the prisoner resumed +his confession: + +As might be expected, this last mistake of mine caused a dispute to +arise. The burgomaster, however, was not so angry because his nose had +changed to gold; but nothing would console him for the loss of his +snuff-box. He actually accused me of stealing it! + +Had the worthy man been versed in the science of chemistry, he would +have known that there are substances which absorb, and consume, each +other. For instance: _argentum vivum_ will dissipate _aurum_; and +_aqua fortis_ will consume silver as will a starving cow barley. This +is called _occulta qualitas_. + +The citizens of Madgeburg, however, are not clever enough to +comprehend matters so transcendental in character. I was summoned to +appear before the mayor, who, being father-in-law to a doctor, +sentenced me, out of spite, to be flogged in public. + +This did not suit me at all, so I said to myself: "Now, friend +Behoric, I have been content to occupy your carcass without murmuring, +so long as nothing more was required of me than to stuff it with +liver-pasties and oysters; but, when it comes to having the hide +tickled with a cat-o'-nine tails, then you had better come back into +it!" + +I was already bound to the pillory and the executioner had bared my +back, revealing the marks of former scourging--of which I could +remember nothing as they were on Behoric's body. + +When the executioner saw that the whip would not be new to my +blood-comrade's hide, he sent for a heavier scourge, the ends of which +terminated with barbed nails. + +"Now, Behoric," I said, "you must take this flogging yourself." + +My hands being bound together, I had no difficulty turning the ring on +my little finger. I had given it but one turn, when, to my great joy, +I found myself in my own body, in my casemate in Ehrenbreitstein +fortress; and before me stood his honor, here, with an empty fire-ball +in one hand; in the other, what he called the "proofs of my treason." + +I guessed at once what my blood-comrade had been doing, what crime he +had committed while occupying my body. + +The Frenchmen, who are leagued with the Bocksritter, had sent Behoric +to the fortress, to take my place, and inform them what was going on +in here. When he found that his crime had been discovered by his +honor, the mayor, he said to himself: "It is time for Belphegor to +return to his body;" and, as it happened, he turned his ring at the +same moment I turned the one on my finger. + +I can imagine his consternation when he found himself in the pillory +in Madgeburg, with his back bared for the scourge; and I have to laugh +every time I think of the grimaces he must have made when the barbed +nails cut into his scarred hide! + +This, your highness, and honorable gentlemen of the court, is the +strictly veracious history of my last capital crime. + + + + +PART XIV. + +THE WHITE DOVE. + + +The decision of the court at the conclusion of the long trial was as +follows: + +"Whereas: After hearing all the evidence, it has been found impossible +to establish fully the exact nature of twenty-one of the twenty-two +crimes, for which the prisoner has been indicted, the court has +decided to pronounce him guilty of only the twenty-second and last on +the register--'Treason.' + +"But, as the prisoner avers that this transgression was committed by +his blood-comrade, who occupied his, the prisoner's, body at the time +the crime was committed; and that his, the prisoner's, _mind_ was not +cognizant of the blood-comrade's intentions when the exchange of +bodies was effected, the court has decided to acquit the prisoner's +mind and commend it to the mercy of God; and, that it may serve as a +lesson to all miscreants who contemplate a similar crime, to sentence +the body to death by a merciful shot in the back of the head." + +The prisoner thanked the court for its clemency and assured the +honorable gentlemen that he had no desire to postpone the execution of +the just sentence. + +When he was brought to the place of execution he removed his coat and +hat, then requested, as a last favor, that his hands might be left +free, and not bound behind his back, as he wished to clasp them on his +breast in prayer. + +The request was granted. He knelt, and in an audible tone repeated the +Lord's Prayer. Then he turned toward the musketeers, who were waiting +matches in readiness above the priming-pans, and said earnestly: + +"Comrades, I beg you, when you shoot me, try also to kill the raven +which is fluttering on my shoulder"--he glanced furtively toward his +shoulder and added joyfully: "No! No! it is not the raven--it is my +white dove--my precious white dove! She has come to bear my soul to +the land wherein she now dwells! My good angel!--My Madus--my only +love!" + +Twelve musket shots rang out on the silent air, and the white dove +soared away with the released soul. + + + + +FINIS.) + + + + +Transcriber's Note: The original edition did not contain a table of +contents. A table of contents has been created for this electronic +edition. + +The use of quotation marks in the original text was irregular and not +always consistent. Some words, especially proper names, were also +spelled inconsistently. Except as noted below, spelling and +punctuation have been left as they originally appeared. + +On the title page, "MAURUS JOKAI" was changed to "MAURUS JOKAI". + +In Part I, Chapter I, a single-quote (') was changed to a double-quote +(") after "It would make the carrying on a war an easy matter." + +In Part I, Chapter II, "Prisoners: I was a member of a band of +robbers" was changed to "Prisoner: I was a member of a band of +robbers", and a missing quotation mark was added after "diabolicum +implicitum". + +In Part II, Chapter I, quotation marks were added after "Kto tam? +Stoj!" and "not a man of your word", "you shall have this koltuk-denigenegi" +was changed to "you shall have this koltuk-dengenegi", and "Incendarii +ambitiosi comburantur" was changed to "Incendiarii ambitiosi +comburantur". + +In Part II, Chapter II, "cities, castles, and monastaries" was changed +to "cities, castles, and monasteries", and a quotation mark was added +after "not the other one!" + +In Part III, Chapter I, a quotation mark was added after "what your +crutch contains!", "I don't wan't brandy" was changed to "I don't want +brandy", and a quotation mark after "the tongue in which demons +spake--" was removed. + +In Part IV, Chapter I, a quotation mark was added before "This wine, +Malchus", a quotation mark was added after "homicidium", "Qui bene +distinquet" was changed to "Qui bene distinguit", and "deeply incensed +by the impiety of the donnenritter" was changed to "deeply incensed by +the impiety of the dornenritter". + +In Part V, Chapter II, "Que bene distinguit" was changed to "Qui bene +distinguit", a period and quotation mark were added after "the +two-thousand you owe me", quotation marks were removed after "seal the +bargain with a kiss" and "bought with the money her son had given +her", and "the same geneological tree" was changed to "the same +genealogical tree". + +In Part VI, Chapter I, "worth-nothing, insignificent cipher" was +changed to "worth-nothing, insignificant cipher", and a missing period +was added after "in every city in the land". + +In Part VII, Chapter I, a quotation mark was removed after +"respectable God-fearing man". + +In Part VIII, Chapter III, "mantained direct communication" was +changed to "maintained direct communication". + +In Part IX, Chapter I, a quotation mark before "During a calm" was +removed, and "how is it posible that such a storm" was changed to "how +is it possible that such a storm". + +In Part X, Chapter II, "all were against, me" was changed to "all were +against me". + +In Part XI, Chapter I, "cast from me every fear" was changed to "I +cast from me every fear", and "David's battle with Goliah" was changed +to "David's battle with Goliath". + +In Part XI, Chapter II, "Sint ut sunt aut nou sint" was changed to +"Sint ut sunt aut non sint". + +In Part XIII, Chapter I, a single quote (') was changed to a double +quote (") before "Why do you wish to exchange?" and "Do you still +belong to the satyrs?", and a quotation mark was added before "The +leader has ordered it" and after "such outrageous fables". + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Told by the Death's Head, by Mor Jokai + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TOLD BY THE DEATH'S HEAD *** + +***** This file should be named 34770.txt or 34770.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/4/7/7/34770/ + +Produced by Steven desJardins and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was +produced from images generously made available by The +Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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