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diff --git a/34113.txt b/34113.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d11eb34 --- /dev/null +++ b/34113.txt @@ -0,0 +1,756 @@ +Project Gutenberg's An Almanac of Twelve Sports, by Rudyard Kipling + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: An Almanac of Twelve Sports + +Author: Rudyard Kipling + +Illustrator: William Nicholson + +Release Date: October 22, 2010 [EBook #34113] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN ALMANAC OF TWELVE SPORTS *** + + + + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Joseph Cooper, Louise Pattison +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + + + + + + + + + An Almanac + of twelve Sports + + By William Nicholson + + _Words by + Rudyard Kipling_ + + Published by R. H. Russell. + New York. 1898. + + + + + +1898. + + +January. + + _Sunday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Monday_ 3 10 17 24 31 + _Tuesday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + _Wednesday_ 5 12 19 26 -- + _Thursday_ 6 13 20 27 -- + _Friday_ 7 14 21 28 -- + _Saturday_ 1 8 15 22 29 -- + + +February. + + _Sunday_ 6 13 20 27 + _Monday_ 7 14 21 28 + _Tuesday_ 1 8 15 22 -- + _Wednesday_ 2 9 16 23 -- + _Thursday_ 3 10 17 24 -- + _Friday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + _Saturday_ 5 12 19 26 -- + + +March. + + _Sunday_ 6 13 20 27 + _Monday_ 7 14 21 28 + _Tuesday_ 1 8 15 22 29 + _Wednesday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Thursday_ 3 10 17 24 31 + _Friday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + _Saturday_ 5 12 19 26 -- + + +April. + + _Sunday_ 3 10 17 24 + _Monday_ 4 11 18 25 + _Tuesday_ 5 12 19 26 + _Wednesday_ 6 13 20 27 + _Thursday_ 7 14 21 28 + _Friday_ 1 8 15 22 29 + _Saturday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + + +May. + + _Sunday_ 1 8 15 22 29 + _Monday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Tuesday_ 3 10 17 24 31 + _Wednesday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + _Thursday_ 5 12 19 26 -- + _Friday_ 6 13 20 27 -- + _Saturday_ 7 14 21 28 -- + + +June. + + _Sunday_ 5 12 19 26 + _Monday_ 6 13 20 27 + _Tuesday_ 7 14 21 28 + _Wednesday_ 1 8 15 22 29 + _Thursday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Friday_ 3 10 17 24 -- + _Saturday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + + + Here is a horse to tame-- + Here is a gun to handle-- + God knows you can enter the game + If you'll only pay for the same, + And the price of the game is a candle-- + One single flickering candle! + + +1898. + + +July. + + _Sunday_ 3 10 17 24 31 + _Monday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + _Tuesday_ 5 12 19 26 -- + _Wednesday_ 6 13 20 27 -- + _Thursday_ 7 14 21 28 -- + _Friday_ 1 8 15 22 29 -- + _Saturday_ 2 9 16 23 30 -- + + +August. + + _Sunday_ 7 14 21 28 + _Monday_ 1 8 15 22 29 + _Tuesday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Wednesday_ 3 10 17 24 31 + _Thursday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + _Friday_ 5 12 19 26 -- + _Saturday_ 6 13 20 27 -- + + +September. + + _Sunday_ 4 11 18 25 + _Monday_ 5 12 19 26 + _Tuesday_ 6 13 20 27 + _Wednesday_ 7 14 21 28 + _Thursday_ 1 8 15 22 29 + _Friday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Saturday_ 3 10 17 23 -- + + +October. + + _Sunday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Monday_ 3 10 17 24 31 + _Tuesday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + _Wednesday_ 5 12 19 26 -- + _Thursday_ 6 13 20 27 -- + _Friday_ 7 14 21 28 -- + _Saturday_ 1 8 15 22 29 -- + + +November. + + _Sunday_ 6 13 20 27 + _Monday_ 7 14 21 28 + _Tuesday_ 1 8 15 22 29 + _Wednesday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Thursday_ 3 10 17 24 -- + _Friday_ 4 11 18 25 -- + _Saturday_ 5 12 19 26 -- + + +December. + + _Sunday_ 4 11 18 25 + _Monday_ 5 12 19 26 + _Tuesday_ 6 13 20 27 + _Wednesday_ 7 14 21 28 + _Thursday_ 1 8 15 22 29 + _Friday_ 2 9 16 23 30 + _Saturday_ 3 10 17 24 31 + + + + +Hunting. + + + Certes it is a noble sport + And men have quitted selle and swum for't, + But I am of a meeker sort + And I prefer Surtees in comfort. + + Reach down my "Handley Cross" again. + My run, where never danger lurks, is + With Jorrocks and his deathless train + Pigg, Binjimin and Arterxerxes! + +[Illustration: January.] + + + + +Coursing. + + + Most men harry the world for fun-- + Each man seeks it a different way + But "of all daft devils under the sun + A grey'ound's the daftest" said Jorrocks J. + +[Illustration: February.] + + + + +Racing. + + + The horse is ridden--the jockey rides-- + The backers back--the owners own + But ... there are lots of things besides, + And I should leave this play alone. + +[Illustration: March.] + + + + +Boating. + + + The Pope of Rome he could not win + From pleasant meat and pleasant sin + These who, in honour's hope, endure + Lean days and lives enforced pure. + These who, replying not, submit + Unto the curses of the Pit + Which he that rides (O greater shame!) + Flings forth by number not by name... + Could Triple Crown or Jesuit's oath + Do what yon shuffle-stocking doth? + +[Illustration: April.] + + + + +Fishing. + + + Behold a parable! _A_ fished for _B_. + _C_ took her bait; her heart was set on _D_. + Thank Heaven, who cooled your blood and cramped your wishes, + Men and not Gods torment you, little fishes. + +[Illustration: May.] + + + + +Cricket. + + + Thank God who made the British Isles + And taught me how to play, + I do not worship crocodiles + Or bow the knee to clay! + + Give me a willow wand and I, + With hide and cork and twine, + From century to century + Will gambol round my Shrine. + +[Illustration: June.] + + + + +Archery. + + + The child of the Nineties considers with laughter + The maid whom his Sire in the sixties ran after, + While careering himself in pursuit of a girl whom + The Twenties will dub a "last century heir-loom." + +[Illustration: July.] + + + + +Coaching. + + + The Pious Horse to church may trot. + A maid may work a man's salvation. + Four horses and a girl are not, + However, aids to reformation. + +[Illustration: August.] + + + + +Shooting. + + + "Peace upon Earth, Goodwill to men!" + So greet we Christmas Day. + Oh Christian load your gun and then, + O Christian, out and slay! + +[Illustration: September.] + + + + +Golf. + + + Why Golf is Art and Art is Golf + we have not far to seek-- + So much depends upon the lie, + so much upon the cleek. + +[Illustration: October.] + + + + +Boxing. + + + Read here the Moral roundly writ + For him that into battle goes-- + Each soul that, hitting hard and hit, + Encounters gross or ghostly foes:-- + Prince, blown by many overthrows + Half blind with shame, half choked with dirt + _Man cannot tell but Allah knows + How much the other side was hurt!_ + +[Illustration: November.] + + + + +Skating. + + + Over the ice she flies + Perfect and poised and fair-- + Stars in my true-love's eyes + Teach me to do and to dare! + + Now will I fly as she flies ... + Woe for the stars that misled! + Stars that I saw in her eyes + Now do I see in my head! + +[Illustration: December.] + + + + + Now we must come away. + What are you out of pocket? + 'Sorry to spoil your play, + But Somebody says we must pay-- + And the candle's down to the socket-- + Its horrible tallowy socket! + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's An Almanac of Twelve Sports, by Rudyard Kipling + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK AN ALMANAC OF TWELVE SPORTS *** + +***** This file should be named 34113.txt or 34113.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/4/1/1/34113/ + +Produced by Chris Curnow, Joseph Cooper, Louise Pattison +and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at +https://www.pgdp.net + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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