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diff --git a/33629.txt b/33629.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..fc074c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/33629.txt @@ -0,0 +1,878 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Autobiography of a Monkey, by Albert Bigelow Paine + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Autobiography of a Monkey + +Author: Albert Bigelow Paine + +Illustrator: Hy. Mayer + +Release Date: September 4, 2010 [EBook #33629] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A MONKEY *** + + + + +Produced by Chris Curnow, monkeyclogs and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive) + + + + + + + + + +THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A MONKEY + +[Illustration] + +FOUND AND PICTURED BY HY. MAYER + +VERSES BY ALBERT BIGELOW PAINE + +[Illustration] + +NEW YORK R. H. RUSSELL + +MDCCCXCVII + + + Copyright 1897 + BY + ROBERT HOWARD RUSSELL + + + + +[Illustration] + +PART FIRST. + +THE DEPARTURE FROM THE FOREST. + + + Where the light laughs in through the tree-tops + And sports with the tangled glade, + In the depths of an Afric forest + My earliest scenes were laid. + +[Illustration] + + In a bower that was merry with smilax + From the grimace of no-where, I woke + I was born on the first day of April + And they called me a jungle joke. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + And the voices of birds were about me-- + And the beat and the flutter of wing; + While morning returned at the trumpet + Of Tusky, our elephant king. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + My nurse was a crooning old beldame + Who gazed in the palms of my hands + And vowed I was destined to travel + In many and marvellous lands. + +[Illustration] + + But little I heeded her croaking, + For I gamboled the whole day long, + And swung by my tail from the tree-top, + Or joined in the jungle song. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + + +[Illustration] + +THE SONG OF THE JUNGLE. + + + _The Elephant:_ + + Oh, I am the lord of the forest and plain! + + _The Lion, Tigers, etc.:_ + + And we are the beasts that acknowledge your reign! + + _The Birds:_ + + And we are the minstrels that come at your call! + + _The Monkeys:_ + + And we are the jesters that laugh at you all! + +[Illustration] + + _Chorus, All--_ + + _Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes!_ + _The tribes of the jungle are we--_ + _Our home is the darksome wilderness_ + _That never a man shall see._ + + _The Elephant:_ + + Oh, the jungle was meant and was made for my will! + + _The Lions, Tigers, etc.:_ + + For the sport of the chase and the zest of the kill! + + _The Birds:_ + + For the beating of wings and the echo of song! + + _The Monkeys:_ + + For gambol and grimace the whole season long! + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + _Chorus, All:_ + + _Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Oh, yes!_ + _For all of the tribes that be_ + _With homes in the tangled wilderness_ + _That never a man shall see._ + +[Illustration] + + But, alas, for the boasts of the jungle! + The men came among us one day, + And one with a box that made music + Enticed foolish monkeys away. + + The birds and the beasts of the forest + Were mute at the marvellous song, + But the monkeys crept out of the tree-tops-- + An eager and wondering throng. + +[Illustration] + + The birds and the beasts of the forest + Kept hidden and silent that day, + But the monkey-folk formed a procession + And followed the minstrel away. + + And thus did we give up the forest + To dwell with our brothers, the men-- + Farewell to the beautiful jungle! + 'Twas long ere I saw it again! + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + + +[Illustration] + +PART SECOND. + +THE WAYS OF MEN. + + + Then away to a far distant country + On a drift that they said was a ship, + And I studied the ways of my master + And profited much by the trip. + + And we sailed to his home in fair Naples, + Where I studied the language of men, + And I sat on a bench with his children, + But soon we went sailing again. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + And I made some nice friends on the voyage, + And engaged in a pretty romance. + I charmed all the ladies by climbing, + And one of them taught me to dance. + +[Illustration] + + Yet often I longed for the jungle-- + Its song and the rustle of wing-- + And sometimes at night in my slumber + I talked with our elephant king. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + One morning my master awoke me, + And, dressed in a gaudy new suit, + I beheld the New World in the sunlight, + And lifted my hat in salute. + + And then began troubles and trials-- + Through the streets by a string I was led; + Toiling hard all the day for my master, + Yet oft going hungry to bed. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + But he sold me at last to a circus + And my lot became easier then, + So I gave many moments of leisure + To acquiring the habits of men. + + I copied their manners and customs + I made of each fashion a note; + And the children admired my performance + And the ladies the cut of my coat. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + By and by I was sold to a banker + Who was charmed with my ball-rolling feat, + And arrayed in a Fauntleroy costume + I passed all my time on the street. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + But alas for my plans of the future! + He died without leaving a cent, + And I had to go out to hard labor + To pay for my victuals and rent; + + Till I met with a gentleman's valet + Who was like me in manner and face, + And I told him some stories that pleased him + And bribed him to give me his place. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + Then I started to serve my new master-- + A bachelor cynic was he, + Who quickly saw through the deception + And made a proposal to me. + + Said he: "You're a monkey, you rascal, + And an excellent type of the brood; + Let's play a good joke on society + By passing you off as a dude." + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + So he took me at first to his barber, + Who shaved me and shortened my hair, + And the last tangled trace of the jungle + Was gone when I rose from his chair. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + And then to his tailor and hatter-- + His hosier and all of the rest, + Till at night I was changed from a monkey + To a chappie most stylishly dressed. + + And standing alone and reflecting + I thought of the why and the how, + And I wondered what Tusky was doing + And what would the jungle say, now. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + + +[Illustration] + +PART THIRD. + +THE BUTTERFLY WHIRL. + + It was then for the triumphs of conquest! + Oh, then for the life of the swell! + I dwelt like a lord with my patron + In a suite of a gilded hotel. + + And we went out to plays and to dinners-- + On the ladies he took me to call-- + And once we received invitations + To a beautiful fancy-dress ball. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + 'Twas a famous affair and it won me, + With its titter and tinsel and tune, + For it carried me back to the jungle + And the monkey-dance under the moon. + + Then I mingled with other diversions. + I learned how to paint and to ride; + I cut a great figure at polo-- + The science of golfing I tried. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + As a wheelman I soon became famous + And made a great score on the track-- + I was known as the king of the scorchers, + With the typical bicycle back. + + Then a girl who was youthful and silly + Made love to me just for a lark, + And came with an elegant turnout + And took me to drive in the park. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + And I took her out boating next morning, + For the face of my charmer was fair; + It carried me back to the jungle-- + To the flow'rs that were blossoming there. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + But soon, in the midst of my pleasure, + In the glow of a roseate dream, + The boat struck a rock and tipped over + And tumbled us both in the stream. + + Then, ho, for the skill of the jungle! + The deftness of foot and of hand! + For I hung from a limb and I saved her + And drew her at last to the strand. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + And then to her home I went proudly + To claim the fair maid for my own, + But her father demanded a title, + And hardened his heart like a stone. + + And now came the death of my patron, + That left me alone in the strife, + And yearning once more for the jungle, + I turned to political life. + +[Illustration] + + + + +PART FOURTH. + +THE RETURN PATH. + + + Then I studied a week to gain knowledge, + And waded through volumes of stuff, + And I found that the only requirements + Were cunning and blarney and bluff. + + And these I had brought from the jungle-- + Inherited straight from my race-- + With a gift for political music + And a truly political face. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + Thus feeling at home in my labors, + My plan was successful, of course, + And when they came round with appointments + They gave me a job on "the force." + + And such was my skill as a roundsman, + And talent in keeping the peace, + That I rose in a year to be Captain, + And then to be Chief of Police! + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + And then, as my years were advancing, + So great was their honor and trust, + That they twined me a chaplet of laurel + And sculptured in marble my bust. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + Yet often I dreamed of the jungle-- + Its song and the rustle of wing-- + And sometimes still talked in my slumber + With Tusky, our elephant king. + + When, lo, my political party, + That now was in power and supreme, + Conferred a most noble appointment + That realized all of my dream. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + For they made me their African envoy, + And soon I went sailing again, + To meet my old playmates and tell them + The ways and the customs of men. + + To calm the dusk native, and gather + My people in sun-haunted nooks + To tell them my story, and teach them + The wisdom that cometh of books; + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + The words and the ways of _their fathers_, + And deliver my race from its ban, + For man did not spring from the monkey, + But monkey _descended from man!_ + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Autobiography of a Monkey, by +Albert Bigelow Paine + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A MONKEY *** + +***** This file should be named 33629.txt or 33629.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/3/3/6/2/33629/ + +Produced by Chris Curnow, monkeyclogs and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This +file was produced from images generously made available +by The Internet Archive) + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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